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Any given moment is a chance to change, the opportunity to turn in all around…especially in your mind. Thoughts are things and thinking stuff has the ability to permeate, penetrate and fill the spaces of the universe. In other words, you are what you think and the universe moves in step with those thoughts.

If you don’t like your path, you are the only one with ability to change it. There’s power in your mind and unbelievable lessons and inspiration for all of us when you share your story.

Everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.

The Sunday Series (150): Child’s Pose

Always smile back at little children. To ignore them is to destroy their belief that the world is good.
– Pam Brown

You would never know it from her smile. It’s bright and full of life, but for a long time it didn’t seem that Marie Triplett’s world was very good, there was little to smile about. Those days are gone – part of her past – but in the present, her story could save a life.

Marie was only eight days shy of her 4-th birthday when the first man she ever loved, her father, passed away from brain cancer. Her dad was only 22. It was tough enough, but unbelievably the truly tough part, the darkness, was yet to come.

It’s simply incredible in this life what the human spirit can endure. If you don’t believe this for yourself, then you should believe in Marie.

When her father passed he left behind Marie and her two brothers, one 3-years-of-age, the other only 9-months old. Barely crossing over into the second decade of her life Marie’s mom, now the single mother of three children, turned to drugs. Nine months later she remarried, bringing into the family a man who, as Marie describes, “was the kind of guy ready to take advantage of a 21-year-old woman with three young children.”

A child predator.

“For eight years I was in that environment,” says Marie. “Weekly my brothers and I were sexually, physically, verbally and mentally abused. My mother was numb to the world. I remember a lot of pills and pipes around. From the time she was in her early 20’s she had no teeth, I remember that. I also remember I somehow knew this wasn’t right.”

What Marie didn’t know was how to break away. “It was wrong, I knew I had to stand up, it wasn’t OK. But I wasn’t strong enough emotionally because I was being manipulated to where I was confused. My mom would trick me and do things like have a game night and then tell me, ‘look how happy we are.’ I had always been pretty vocal and told my story, but then I would recant, because I would be convinced I was betraying my family. It’s tough when you are nine-years-old and your mother is telling you that you don’t really love us.”

The family, living in Cincinnati, was always on the move. “They were masters of the system,” says Marie. “They worked out a section-eight scam, food stamps, social security disability. When I was seven I got my first library card, but I can never get another one in the state of Ohio, because my mother used mine to order nursing books, so she could learn and then fabricate medical issues for my brother and for her, to keep the disability checks coming. I was in 12 different schools by the time I was a freshman. We went back and forth so the child protective services couldn’t find us. I served two stints in foster care.”

There seemed to be no end. Until one day the law finally intervened and police forcibly removed her mother’s husband from the home. Now it was up to Marie, age 12, to testify against the man who had stolen her childhood and that of her brothers, as her mother sat on the other side of the courtroom, by his side. A watershed moment in Marie’s life, but one that would eventually bring her into the light.

The testimony worked. Her mother’s husband was found guilty and went to jail for 12 years. Marie says she’s sure he’s still out there somewhere, on a sexual predator registry. She knows her mom is still alive. But Marie says her mother has never met her husband of 15-years, or her two boys. Her brothers broke away as well Marie says, “one is doing OK, the other not so much.”

Marie was taken in by her aunt, already a single mom with three children of her own. “She took me in because she knew what I had been through,” says Marie. Her new family was still poor and suffering in that tough economic environment, but life is all about your experiences and your perception. The silver lining of it all was easy for Marie to comprehend, “At least I wasn’t being molested,” she says.

Each and every step away from the darkness, no matter how small, brings you closer to the light. Marie says from as far back as she can remember she knew she had more to offer and could do better than where she was. “I can be more,” says Marie. “I exude life now because the sh**tty part of my life is over.”

Though she dropped out of high school, Marie eventually earned her GED and at age 20, enlisted in the Army working as a human resources specialist. There she met Michael, the man who would become her husband.

Army training took the two to Fort Hood, Texas and they married in the spring of 2002. In 2003, they welcomed their first son into the world, but Mike was soon deployed to Iraq for nearly two years, leaving Marie to raise her son alone.

Mike returned home safely from Iraq and in 2005 the young family was eventually transitioned to Fort Meade, Maryland. It was simply another step on the road to recovery for Marie. “I got my first real office job, I felt so legit,” remembers Marie. “I was making $25,000-a-year, and had a 401-k, in my mind I was on my way to being a millionaire. A few more government positions led Marie to becoming a program manager for a weapons defense contractor. In 2011, just two days before Thanksgiving, Marie was laid off by the government. But that one moment, turned her life on. “I cried the day I was laid off, but then I realized I had asked for this all along.”

At the same time, Marie was immersing herself in the practice of yoga. She was just a few months into her yoga teacher training when she was told she no longer had a job. But Marie remembers what she had said just a week before, when her yoga instructor asked the class to do a deep breathing exercise. “She asked us to breathe in and let it go, and while doing so, get rid of something that isn’t serving you. I said I want to get rid of my job, I want to let go of it. Seven days later I was laid off. I believe in the universe and in destiny. It may not always come in the package you want, but if you listen you will get it from the universe.”

Marie picked up a part-time government job contract job, with the ability to work from home. Three months later she passed her certification and was now teaching yoga.

Game-changer.

In boxing when you hit the mat, it could be just about over. The fight you’ve been waging may be nearing its end, you are about to get beat, your journey is ending. The countdown begins.

In most of life the meaning of being down on the mat means you are just that – down. Maybe down on your luck, maybe down in your mind, maybe down for the count. But what about when your mat means a new beginning, a source of energy, a place of peace, a way to find yourself again?

“Yoga was life changing,” says Marie. “Because it’s all about accepting your path and being OK with things the way they are. There’s a spiritual side to yoga, it’s like going to church when I step on my mat. For me as a person I’m connected to the universe on my mat, more so than anywhere else. I worked out a lot of crap on my mat. Yoga offers a safe space, my mat always listens. I laugh it out, cry it out, it never fails me.”

While helping others change their bodies and their minds through yoga, a few years ago Marie joined Younique, a cosmetic company with a mission is to uplift, empower and validate women around the world through products that encourage both inner and outer beauty. Younique is one of the first direct sales companies to market and sell almost exclusively through the use of social media.

For Marie, between yoga and Younique, it’s a perfect fit. Just over a year ago she got the opportunity to speak at a Younique retreat, where in front of 300 women, she shared her story for the very first time. “I was floored by how many women came up to me after,” says Marie. “They said to me, ‘I couldn’t speak out before, but because you did, now I can.'”

Ultimately this is Marie’s purpose by sharing her story here, if even one person’s life is changed, it’s worth it.

Married now and the mother of two boys, she feels she’s in a good place. “I feel that it’s important for people to know you are not stuck in the life you’ve been handed, or limited by the life you have already lived. Every time you wake up it’s a fresh day. But take some accountability and ownership of your day. From the time you wake up, the day is yours, own it. Looking at the past is not serving you.”

“I’m not my past. My life is exactly the way it is because this is the way I willed it to be. It wasn’t luck that every job I got paid a little bit more. It was not luck that I did yoga training, not just good fortune I found Younique. It was choices, I took control of my life. Our story is exactly the way it is supposed to be and we also have the power to change it. My past is my parallel life and my current life is exactly the way I want it to be. Once you have the power to come away from it, it is a choice to go back and I’m not choosing that.”

With all transparency I found yoga myself. At the beginning of this year I started taking Marie’s Saturday Vinyasa Class at YogaWorks. Without even knowing the story behind her story, I was moved by the way she handled her yoga practice for our group, inspired by her giving, soulful spirit as she taught, as well as the stories she would share at the outset of every class. I had a feeling there was more to Marie.

I have learned many of the yoga moves on the mat. But one pose in particular, as Marie teaches us, is the one you can go to at any time during your practice, a place to rest. It’s way down low on your knees, resting on the top of your feet, head down, eyes closed, arms stretched out in front of you, a place of serenity and acceptance. It’s a posture I now know Marie has visited many, many times, because she refers to it as that “safe” place. A place she can be at peace.

Want to read a really great story? You need look no further than from the place where your story began.

The first page begins the same for every single person on the planet. For there is no other way to arrive on this earth, then from the gift of life given by one single person, your Mother.

For that simple reason alone, EVERYONE has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.

The Sunday Series (149): Mamma’s Boy

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” – Abraham Lincoln

The odds are calculated at 67-million-to-one. Those are the odds of hitting two hole-in-ones in the same round on a golf course. But Travis Yoder did it. April 11th 2010, a day Travis will never forget during a golf tournament near Playa del Carmen, Mexico. The same course that hosts PGA tour events. Even across the border, it still counts.

Yet Travis is no stranger to beating the odds, he learned from the best…his mom.

“If you ask me who was my biggest inspiration in life, it’s easy, it’s my mom,” says Travis. “She taught me my work ethic, she taught me strength and sacrifice, she taught me love.” An only child, Travis’ parents divorced when he was only ten. “It’s all good, I love them both,” says Travis. “I’m not a product of that divorce. Besides the fact that my dad wasn’t always there because I lived with my mom, my mom was always there. Always. I basically grew up on a baseball diamond. My mom sacrificed a lot to make sure I made every practice, every game. The whole time, as a single mom, she worked her career as well.”

“My mom started on the bottom floor of the property appraiser’s office in Tampa, Florida, where I grew up. She started off carrying typewriters to the office and by the time she retired, she was director, with a big, beautiful office on the 15th floor. 40-plus years of hard work. So many people give up nowadays, you talk to them and they are on their 15th job, but my mom never threw in the towel. She earned promotion after promotion and worked her way up. She never gave up. She was a role model there. More people should go into their work with the same intensity and drive. But the majority don’t do that. The hardest job was for my mom was to raise me and work at the same time. My baseball practices and games were endless. But she taught me – don’t let any excuse get in the way of where you want to be.”

Lesson learned. For Travis life has been about sacrifices and movement to make things work. Lots of movement. “Two steps back to be five-steps forward,” is what Travis lives and now teaches. His mom taught him the power and progress which comes from hard work. Maybe that’s the reason Travis and his wife lived in 5 different states over a 12-year-period, as Travis built, recruited and trained insurance agents before finally settling down in Irving, Texas.

Fortunately for Travis, he married Michelle, someone as strong as the woman who raised him. Michelle was no stranger to travel, being a military brat, the daughter of an Army drill sergeant, she had spent a good portion of her life in Germany, then Hawaii. She also knew the power of sacrifice, her dad having served in Vietnam and then her memories of seeing him deployed for Desert Storm.

“A ton of moves did put a strain on my marriage at times,” says Travis. “But Michelle has been my biggest supporter, biggest fan, best friend…not everyone can say that. From day one she’s been supportive, been there to let me live my dream. Every time we talked about the next step, the next rung on the ladder in life, she’s been supportive. She was working as a loan processor at a credit union and she eventually left, just quit, to come work with me. I told her I can’t pay you any money, but I think what you can deliver will make us more money in the long run. She became my office manager and was damn good at it.”

Two steps back, five steps forward.

For Travis, two great women in his life already, but one more was to appear. It didn’t come easy. When Travis and Michelle finally settled into Texas, it was time to talk about expanding the family. They tried to make it happen for three years with no success, eventually each of them went to get tested. “I finally went to get checked out,” says Travis. “The doc says ‘your swimmers are like Michael Phelps, you’re just fine.’ I’m feeling pretty good about myself, but then it starts to set in that something might be wrong with Michelle. But she goes to get tested too and the doc tells her she’s perfect. He says you are overthinking this, just do it, keep trying.”

For Travis there was no giving up, after all, he’s a life-long fan of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, in fact one of their biggest fans. “From the time I was a little kid my dad had front row tickets on the 5o-yard line. I experienced years of traumatic Bucs games. Ten consecutive years of double-digit losing seasons. You’re only a true Bucs fan if they cut you and you bleed creamsicle orange,” jokes Travis.

Between the Bucs and his Mom, Travis knew you never give up. In 2010, it finally happened. “I know exactly the day we got pregnant,” says Travis. “It was the day I hit those two hole-in-ones on the golf course in Mexico. We celebrated that night, if you know what I mean. Michelle swears she got pregnant a week later, but I’m sticking to my story exactly!”

Whenever it happened, the blessing, their daughter Presley, arrived in December 2010. Travis says some people asked him, you’re the big athlete, where’s the boy? “I told them, dude, the best thing that I ever did was have a girl,” says Travis. “It’s one thing to love your mom, a different kind of love for your wife, but the revelation of the world is when you have a daughter. It’s a different realm. It’s hard to describe to someone until you have a child.”

My name is Presley. I am beautiful. I am smart. I am a good listener. I am a good golfer. I am going to have an amazing day. I am going to have an AMAZING day. I am going to have an AMAZING DAY!!

For a few years now, this is the ritual for Travis and Presley. Her dad says the line, she repeats it, and together the two stay in positive step and mindset. And just like her dad, Presley is becoming quite the golfer.

It’s the same mindset Travis tries to instill in those he inspires and leads as Executive Vice-President of sales for USHEALTH Advisors. Travis travels frequently, but his family understands the sacrifice. Even on the road he makes sure to have his positive pow-wow with Presley, saying their lines and pumping each other up. Travis also knows he gets to spend time with his other family, the leaders and field force of the company. “It’s pretty impressive to see people change their lives,” says Travis. “There are no guarantees, but every day I see people go out and make the sacrifice. The growth model is unbelievable.”

Travis also credits Troy McQuagge, the CEO, for making the last seven years of his life so remarkable, as boss and friend. “The dude is definitely my mentor,” says Travis. “Not everyone gets to work with a boss who is so giving and selfless. His heart is enormous. But he also knows how to push my buttons and drive me. I’m thankful for his mission of HOPE.”

In fact, a few years ago, Travis was at a meeting at Troy’s home when Travis’s phone rang several times. It was his mom calling from Florida. She had some news, her husband, his step-dad, had suffered a heart attack. It wasn’t even a second thought, even though hundreds of miles away, Travis knew he needed to get to the airport, get on a plane and get to his mother. No time to pack, no bags, just a phone call to his wife and he hopped on the first flight he could find. Travis had to get home immediately. He had to be the there for his mom, no tears for him, not just yet.

“My mom was crying hard, I was her rock,” says Travis. “I didn’t cry, even though I had known John for most of my life. I had to be strong. Even writing the eulogy I didn’t cry. It wasn’t until the day of the funeral. My entire family is there and in walks Troy, Randi Stokes, Brian Clark and Dean Whaley. They had all made the trip from Texas. That’s when I broke down. My co-workers, my friends, had made the sacrifice to travel to be there. That was the day I realized when actions speak so loud you can’t hear even drown out what someone is saying.

It’s all about action. Travis says, “I try to be the best dad on the planet, the best husband on the planet, the best co-worker on the planet, the best friend. I’m nowhere near to my goal, but at least I make the attempt. I want to get better every day. I don’t want people to be at my funeral and not know what to say. I just want people to realize you don’t know when your last day is, so you gotta live every day to the fullest. I feel like my story is still just starting. I have a grandmother who just passed away at age 105. I’ve got a long way to go.”

And then there’s mom, who has taught Travis nearly every great lesson of his life. “I have an unbelievably remarkable mother,” says Travis. “I look back on my life and I know I’ve got the best mom on the planet. I have no shame in saying. I’m a mamma’s boy.”

Sometimes you just feel it. The pure beauty, the overwhelming joy, the magic that is life. It’s there for the taking in any given moment, for every moment is a reason to change, to renew, to begin again. No matter what life hands you, it’s in your hands to grasp it, get through it and persevere. Faith and fortitude. Courage and hope. Inspiration and life’s greatest gift – the one each of us has in our possession on any given day – the gift of love.

All of these elements combine in some way to create our path, they are part of our story.

Everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.

The Sunday Series (148): Thrive

Cubed. Boxed In. Stuck.

Sitting at her desk at a national loan company, Katie Sampayo was less than fulfilled, in fact she felt trapped and uninspired, restless and yearning for more. There had to be more than this life and more to the life she really wanted to live. Her mind was speaking to her, she just needed to listen and to speak up in order to make a change.

Katie could do it. Why not? She had done it before. Even when, as far back as Katie could remember, trying to speak had been shrouded in silence and fear.

“I used to cry when I got called on in school,” says Katie. “I was one of the shyest people alive.” I remember one day when I was a kid, I walked onto the wrong bus getting home from school. I knew it and I just stood there and couldn’t talk, I just started crying. I felt I looked stupid. It was horrible. I never wanted to be noticed, I didn’t want people looking at me. Anytime the attention was on me I didn’t want it. In 5th grade I dressed like a boy, then like a punk rocker, all to be hidden behind some other persona.”

“In college I became a business major. In that concentration we had to give presentations all the time. I dreaded it. My senior year in college, the last semester at Towson University, one of my mentors volunteered me to be in the Associate Competition for business. The competition was a lot like The Apprentice on TV. My team won the first competition and I had to speak and explain what we did, except I froze, I blanked and no words came out of my mouth, nothing happened.”

For Katie that was the end. At any moment in life there is a chance to turn it all around, to make a change, to overcome fear and start again. Katie Sampayo decided that day would be the beginning of the rest of her life. It was time to speak up.

“For the next week I challenged myself,” says Katie. “I said I was going to be the leader of my team in this next round of the competition and speak in front of these people. When it came time the following week to speak for the team, I did it and it was the best. I did it, I didn’t stutter that much. I didn’t forget anything. Slowly but surely through this competition, week after week, I got much better. Eventually my team was eliminated, but I had people come up to me and say, ‘Katie you did amazing tonight, you spoke so well, you should not have been eliminated.”

Her silence broken, Katie was on her way. Though her ability to share the spoken word was just one of the battles she faced to get where she is today. She says her drive to thrive and be independent was also inspired by her experience during her senior year in high school. Katie says she had some major issues with a group of girls making fun of her, tormenting her, bullying her, all because she was friends with someone they didn’t like. She says it got really bad, but Katie also says it fueled her fire to move away from where she was living, to take up residence in the city (Baltimore) and to gain strength. “It’s why I am a strong woman now, I don’t let people push me around,” says Katie.

Once she entered the business world, sitting there in that cubicle at the loan company, the experiences of her life and that small inner voice were telling her, reminding her, that there was more. Katie says, “I always knew from the time I was little I wanted to run my own business and make a huge impact on the world. To run my own show and know that I did it, I made it happen. That’s why I took a harder look at what I loved to do. I had always been physically active. From the time I was four, I was playing sports, I love being active, I love the competition.”

During this time Katie also found yoga, got really excited about it and it led to her next step. “I knew this corporate job was not meant for me,” says Katie. “I wasn’t built to sit in a cube all day. I went to Merritt Athletic Club, started doing barre and found out they were hiring new instructors. One of the teachers encouraged me to try out. I did and I started teaching barre twice a week after work. I went to the CEO of the loan company and got a health and wellness plan going – the first ever at the company – and started teaching employees after work. I designed all the classes and did it for free. I absolutely loved it. People got so excited to go to classes after work and see their weight drop. It made me so fulfilled to be able to help people at this level and have them feel good about themselves.”

“I did it for six months and knew it was time to get out and do it full-time. I got my personal training certification and the minute I graduated I was out and started working at Merritt Athletic Club. I was so passionate about it and people could see it. I thought what else can I do – so I started a boot camp class. I teach every Saturday in Patterson Park.”

“I also started investing in personal development. It changed my life. I used to be a really angry person. I would get mad quickly. But once I got out on my own I started reading books, going to seminars and taking yoga. I found my purpose. I was no longer angry, I was at peace with myself and my past and in such a good place. So much changed for me from being a “negative nancy” to a positive person. I love making people happy.”

But even for someone making others happy, getting them in shape and helping to bring them “peace”, the pace can take its toll. There’s the mantra: work hard, play hard. But Katie was only living half that life. After only a year on her own and running her fitness business, the business of fitness got to be too much. “I was working myself to death,” she says. “I was doing the boot camp, teaching barre, and teaching another body sculpting class at the inner harbor one night a week as well. I loved all of this, but I was physically and mentally exhausted. It’s when I decided to write the book. I knew online is where I needed to be, to reach even more people and to make an impact.”

The question was fitness or nutrition? Katie loved both, but realized nutrition was the first thing she always talked about with clients. So she started writing a healthy snack guide, Snacking 101, 20 snack recipes which are healthy, gluten-free and meant to keep you full. That became her first e-book. But she wanted to do more, make more of an impact. Katie wanted to thrive.

Putting her passion in front, her past behind and her desire to change lives – Katie started writing another book, Eat to Thrive: The Anti-Diet Cookbook. Then she left the states…to head to the other side of the world. She went to Bali, to earn her Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga certification and then to Thailand to celebrate her achievement and to experience life. She surfed, explored and even played with the elephants. Then she came back to the US earlier this year – promptly erased what she had written and started the book over. Her trip abroad had given her time to think deeper and make sure she was sharing the right message about food, mindset and fitness.

“The key to the book is that diets suck,” says Katie. “The key to success in life is living a healthy lifestyle. Learning to understand what is in the food you are eating. It’s all about knowledge and how the food affects the body. A diet doesn’t teach you anything. I’ve never done a diet in my entire life. You get off the diet and you don’t learn anything about food. You don’t have to diet to look good. This is a no BS guide to nutrition in my real and authentic voice – sassy and fun. There are 50 recipes in the book that are quick, easy and actually taste good that you can make in 30 minutes or less. Eat to Thrive gives you the knowledge about nutrition, to take control of your body and your life and not play the victim of the circumstances around you. Once you have the knowledge you have the power to decide how you want your life to be. Do you want to look bad or feel bad, or do you want to thrive and live the life you actually want to live?”

“It comes down to never ever settling for being just OK, or living a life of mediocrity, or not living a life that is truly fulfilling, or striving to reach your potential. It’s why the book is called Eat to Thrive. It’s not just about looking in the mirror, it’s about doing what you want, going for what you want, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What to you want out of life? Push yourself. I’m fully behind this. I help people to live a fulfilling life.”

A life where anyone can thrive.

(Get your copy of the hardcover edition of Eat to Thrive: The Anti-Diet Cookbook, beginning tomorrow, May 8th, on Amazon.com)

The ability to keep moving, to keep going, to keep changing is something each of us has the capacity to choose – and that’s the key – it’s a choice. We must choose to learn, to love, to truly live and do so in a way that serves others. One way is to share what we have. One thing we have, one of our greatest gifts, is our story.

Everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.

The Sunday Series (147): The Voice

Dana Simmons will tell you herself, she chooses happiness. More than 30 years ago she also made a choice to marry a man from Alabama. That choice would change her life.

In fact the choice ultimately led to the voice, the voice talking to her inside her head, as she lie there in her own backyard, staring up at the trees and hoping to stay alive.

“The voice told me to make sure I love myself. As I lay there, I said, ‘I love you Dana. You did a good job.’ I said I love myself, cause I didn’t have anyone else in that moment to say I love you. I didn’t die. I just said, ‘I’m not going to die. I’m going to get up. I’m going to live.”

Thirteen years before that moment Dana said, “I do”, and was wed to a minister, a man who performed his own service. A man Dana describes as, “very good-looking, very well-educated, with big dimples, movie-star looks like Richard Chamberlain.” But what Dana didn’t know then, looks can be deceiving.

It was Dana’s mom who encouraged her to go meet the man from Birmingham. Dana had just finished serving as maid-of-honor at her sister’s wedding, a wedding performed by this same minister. After the wedding Dana went to her mom feeling confused and wondering what to do about her own life – her mom told her to make an appointment with the nice man who conducted the ceremony.

That appointment carried forward, as the minister took a liking to Dana and the two started dating. Dana was impressed with his credentials. “Jim explained to me he spoke several languages,” says Dana. “He graduated magna cum laude, had a masters in English and a doctorate in Theology. We talked for a while in that first appointment and he asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner the next week.”

Dana says she felt safe and secure with Jim, thought he was honest and she looked up to him. She says he was greatly admired by the church and the parishioners, so when Jim asked Dana to marry, she said yes. The wedding was performed by Minister Jim, in the same backyard where Dana grew up.

It was a good life. “Jim ended up working at a small church in Colorado,” says Dana. “We (Dana and her young daughter Ashley, from a previous marriage), would attend Sunday church with him. He would give his sermons, they were very interesting. He was well-respected and loved and I was very proud to be his wife.”

When the position of pastor for the church became available, Jim believed he would get the job. A vote was held and the decision was made to give the position to someone else. “Jim was outraged,” says Dana. “He couldn’t accept it, he was so upset.”

Dana made the suggestion that Jim enter into real estate, an industry where Dana had connections from her work a few years back. It ended up being a good idea for her husband, as he partnered up with a well-known restaurantor in the Denver area and the two became very successful in commercial real estate.

But success in business, doesn’t always translate to success at home. It was around the same time…the trouble began.

“We moved into a new six-thousand square foot home in an affluent neighborhood,” says Dana. “We had lots of parties, we entertained, commissioners and mayors and other politicians attended because they wanted to do business with Jim and his partner. Around the same time Dana and Jim learned they would be expecting their first child together.

“When I was pregnant with John, I would wait for Jim to come home each evening. He would call and say he was on his way, then he wouldn’t show up for hours. I would make a steak dinner for the two of us, and wait for him and he would show up at like 10-pm. I would get very angry. There would always be an excuse. A flat tire, a late meeting with his partner, or something going on at one of the restaurants.”

It was then Dana started seeing things in the car…earrings, hair ribbons and knew Jim must be seeing someone else. She turned to her mom for help and guidance. Dana said she was distraught and just wanted “to die”. Her mother told her to keep it together. But while still pregnant with John, Dana’s mom passed away after a battle with cancer.

Distraught over her mom’s death Dana went into premature labor, but the doctors managed to stop it and John was born full-term. But the trouble at home continued. Dana says, “things started happening to me in the big house. Jim would come home at noon, rush to get the mail, then take the phone off the hook so nobody could call. I would have people in my home looking at me while I made breakfast. Eventually someone knocked on the door and delivered a subpoena. Jim said it was because of the tax reform act of 1986, it impacted the real estate market and many of the properties he and his partner had for sale went into foreclosure. He had borrowed money from family and friends. He started drinking more, became more violent…not against me, but he refused to tell me what was really going on, his partner wouldn’t talk either.”

Eventually they were going to take our house, but Jim said he had an idea to move the family to another state. He said he had a plan to start up a business. So we made the move. He got our friends, the commissioners, a senator and others to give him money to invest in this new venture. We got a nice house, I decorated it beautifully and all was going to be fine.”

Except Jim couldn’t secure the seed money for the new business. Because he owed money Jim couldn’t get a necessary loan for his new venture. “He had all these great plans,” says Dana. “We were going to make a lot of money. But he couldn’t get funded and then he couldn’t pay back the money he borrowed for us to live on.”

Jim decided it was best to go back to his home state pf Alabama and convinced Dana to make the move with the family, consisting now of three children, Ashley, John and Ben. The family rented two Ryder trucks and headed to a hotel in Birmingham. Dana says her husband told her he was going to take one of the trucks and put the furniture into a storage unit. So he left to make the drop.

It’s been said the meaning of love is giving another human being the power to destroy you…and then hoping they won’t use it. Until they do.

Jim left that night, and never came back.

“We had no money, no cash, nothing,” says Dana. “I didn’t know what to do. I had never been in such a shock in my whole life. I contacted a friend in Colorado who loved the furniture I had and told her I would sell it to her. I asked her to send the money to buy it. She did. I had a baby grand piano and I called all these churches and got one to buy it for $5,000. They gave me $2,500 up-front and told me they would pay me the rest in a month. I got the cash, loaded the furniture and our clothing into the one Ryder truck and started to drive myself and my kids back home.”

Dana tearfully remembers that long ride back to Colorado. “I had everything loaded up in that truck,” says Dana, describing her experience through her tears. “But I forgot to lock the back latch and it all came out on the highway. It was a mess. I just wanted to get myself and my three kids back home.”

Dana eventually got her family back home, found a townhouse, got a job as a pharmacy technician at a local hospital, managed to get her kids back in school and did the best she could.

But Dana says Jim found his way back there too. Dana says Jim managed to maintain his relationship with the kids through phone calls and ended up staying in a house down the street from the one she purchased. She says he would regularly sneak in and steal money, basically finding a way in while she was at work.

She says she went to friends, co-workers, churches, even the police, because she believed her ex-husband was stalking her and was going to kill her. She says no one would help. Most didn’t believe her, until that day in 1996.

It was May 24th and after agreeing to meet Jim in her kitchen to discuss child support, Dana says she found herself running through her backyard, trying to escape from her ex-husband, who was chasing her…with a gun.

“I heard the voice,” remembers Dana. “It told me to zig and zag. Jim had already fired once and hit me in the arm. I tried to get out, but the fence to the backyard had a padlock on it.” The same lock meant to keep Jim out. Dana says, “the voice told me don’t run in a straight line, so Jim can’t take aim and hit me again. But he eventually caught up to me. He threw me down, stepped on me and put the gun to the back of my neck and pushed it hard. I heard the voice again. It told me to jerk my head and as I did Jim fired the gun. I thought I was going to die. Jim stood up and walked back toward the house. The same voice told me to play dead and not move. I saw him go into the house and heard one more shot. I thought for sure he had shot my son Ben who was the only other person inside the house.”

That’s when the voice also told Dana to turn over and stare up at the trees, focus on something pretty. She says should could taste metal in her mouth and expected to suffocate, for her lungs to fill up with blood, but it didn’t happen and Dana didn’t die.

As she would soon come to learn, the shot she heard inside the home was the single gunshot of Jim taking his own life. The bullet he fired into Dana’s neck had somehow found itself lodged in a spot where the skull meets the spine, just two centimeters from the c-2 vertebrae. The doctors said it was a “God thing” that Dana wasn’t killed and there was nothing they could do right now to get the bullet out.

Eventually the bullet was removed, but Dana says the experience with her ex-husband was so traumatic, it led to post-traumatic stress disorder for her and serious life challenges for her children, sending one to an institution and another into a life of alcoholism and depression.

But the power of the human spirit is limitless and from any situation, there is a chance to find a way back. Those who ignored her cries for help have since come to apologize. Dana immersed herself in her work – first at the pharmacy, a bank, then in service to others suffering through domestic violence and eventually in the insurance industry. In 2012 she found a home and what she calls her “second family” at USHEALTH Advisors.

“I am so blessed to have my friends at USHA,” says Dana. “I adore this place and I am dedicated to the company and to our President, Troy McQuagge. Troy has made it clear this is all about the agents and our customers. My life is my career and I have chosen that over everything else. I understand what an incredible opportunity this is and I get it. We serve. It’s helping other people everyday. This company gives me the opportunity to make as much money as I want to make. I have fought like a dog in life and I’m used to working hard, I have a great work ethic and I know I have to provide for my family.”

Dana continues, “I also do believe I now speak for the women who have died because of domestic violence. God let me live. I was basically murdered, but I didn’t die. If anyone can learn something from this story, it is when somebody says they need help, they really need help. You don’t turn the other cheek. You do something.”

It’s now Dana’s voice others are hearing to make sure they know how grateful she is. “I want everyone to know that I appreciate every minute God has given me. This is my second chance at life and I’m going to make the most of it.”

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17September 24, 2013

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné PallaceSeptember 24, 2013

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. RiecksNovember 4, 2013

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109October 23, 2013

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. BogashSeven Valleys, PA

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

PattiMSeptember 25, 2013

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

This is the first time since the blog began I took a week away from any posts, but it was vacation time well spent, inspired by the interaction with my family, friends and the things I witnessed, paid attention to and read. One of those was a book of quotes, each quote inspiring in its […]

Today, how appropriate. On the very day set aside to honor the man who taught us to have a dream, we learn they really do come true. Ray Lewis has one. John & Jim Harbaugh have one. The Ravens have one. A city has one. Today, we are living the dream. It all begins with […]