Squicquero: Redefine your New Year's resolutions

Jan. 28, 2013

Written by

Sandi Squicquero

Consciously speaking

With the first month of the new year coming to an end, the resolutions that were made may be short lived. Most of us who have vowed to lose weight, quit smoking or modify or extinguish any unwanted behavior are feeling the frustration and wanting to give up or quit. Resolve means “bringing an end to something.” Create a goal instead of resolving. Take it slow, trying hard or harder to do something often leads to frustration and defeat. More effort does not always equal more success.

Are resolutions the best way to bring change to your life? According to Statistic Brain, people who explicitly make resolutions are more likely to obtain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions; however, only 8 percent of people will be successful in achieving their resolutions.

A first in keeping your resolution and creating your goal is to turn your negative into a positive. Rephrase and restate your intention. Instead of saying to yourself, “I will lose weight,” say to yourself, “I will be healthy.” If you are quitting smoking, say to yourself, “I am a nonsmoker.” Use visualization and picture yourself as you would like yourself to be, slim and healthy. Draw a picture of the new you and post it on your refrigerator or on your bathroom mirror. Imagine your new self without a cigarette, breathing fresh, clean air.

If you are to change your behaviors, then self-awareness, vigilance and determination are needed. Realize that discouragement is normal and become a positive coach by giving yourself recognition for the small steps you achieve. Celebrate your signs of progress. Realize that negative thoughts, guilt and low self-esteem can sap your strength and motivation. If you slip back into old habits, forgive yourself and get back on track. Self-forgiveness improves self-esteem and can impact future behavior.

In order to be motivated to change any behavior or habit, it is necessary for you to own that change. For instance, smoking cessation requires a solid commitment to quit. Making changes for someone else’s approval are difficult to sustain. When speaking to patients about their desire to quit smoking, I ask, “On a scale of one to 10, how much do you want to quit smoking, with one being low desire and 10 being high desire?” If the number is a low number and desire is low, they will undoubtedly fail the program. In this instance, I ask them to return when they are more committed and ready to quit.

Creating an action plan is paramount to change. If your motivation is to lose weight, join a health and fitness center with a friend or inquire about a personal trainer. Create a schedule that will fit your needs. Make sure that your action plan is manageable and doable. For instance, plan your workouts weekly so that they fit in with your home or work schedule. Don’t get overwhelmed by schedules.

Change requires courage and support. Addictions such as alcohol, drugs, food and sex often are driven by temptation and can sabotage your success. Support and encouragement are vital until new patterns are set. Don’t be shy about relying on your friends and family for support. Join an exercise class at your health club or talk to a mentor. If you cannot make an internal shift, consider that therapy can decrease your depression and increase your self-esteem to move you toward achieving your resolutions and goals.