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Original Message

I am 41 years old and was raised as a Christian from birth. In my middle age I have realized I have never truly seen proof of God. Everything I have experienced in my life can be attested to other things besides God himself. Spiritual experiences could have just been emotional experiences due to the desire to be close to God. The Bible itself can be just another book. When I needed God most, he wasn't necessarily there. I invested in a business because I thought God wanted me to only to almost lose everything I've ever worked for. I have never seen a miracle. The Bible is full of contradictions. It also contains ridiculous laws in the OT. The members of my church are awesome, loving people, but they are also human; when my church has disagreements within itself, I wonder how God would allow that.

I can go on. I no longer know what to believe. Should I try to fight to believe what I was raised to believe? Should I explore any of the other hundreds of religions out there, perhaps some that are older than Christianity? Should I embrace further my scientific mind? Should I embrace logic over faith? Should I believe anything at all? Should I forget trying to figure out any meanings in this life and just take care of my family?

Please, tell me your points of view. Let me know what you believe. Give me other things to consider about this life. Maybe I am just older and bitter now. Maybe there are other possibilities I have not considered. Maybe I should embrace my faith even further. Or maybe I should forget faiths and beliefs and just concentrate on what I can see and feel and touch.