Ten things to do before the world ends

Date: December 18 2012

Natalie Bochenski

There's been a lot of giggling and guffawing about Earth's alleged impending apocalyptic doom.

So-called “scientists” and “academics” with their “degrees” and “common sense” say it's unlikely that the Mayan Long Count Calendar's prophecy of a world-ending cataclysm on December 21, 2012 will bear out. They say the date simply marks the passage of one era to another, based on a 5125-year cycle.

Didn't they see 2012? Did people doubt director Roland Emmerich's ability to predict a disaster?

You can't deny the advanced civilisation that the Mayans possessed – so advanced that Mel Gibson chose to make a movie about them. And given Mel Gibson's... er... you know... that's got to count for something.

So I say, don't nay-say the May-say.

Let's just accept that the clock is set to strike midnight, and we're all about to turn into pumpkins. Mashed pumpkins, in fact.

Let's live in the moment. Here are 10 things you can do before the end of the world on Friday.

1. Make a fort out of tins of baked beans. They're virtually indestructible and will prove a good source of sustenance in the blasted landscape that awaits any survivors.

2. Run naked in the street. Courts won't exist to prosecute you come the weekend.

3. Admit your secret crush to your object of desire. If they reciprocate – hooray! If they don't – hooray, the world is over for both of you anyway!

4. Get a refund on your Woodford tickets, stick on a feathered headband, make a drum kit out of shoeboxes and create your own festival in your nearest public park. The standard of public amenities will be much the same.