SF sucks. More machines will fix it. Really.

Gee -- San Francisco is just horrible. There are mean bicyclists, slow buses, trash on the streets -- and you can't even get a cab to take your hot date home to her place in the Sunset, even though she has a phone and can call a cab if she wants to. It's seven square miles -- which is "adorable" -- seriously, "adorable" -- but we don't want to walk anywhere because ow, that would hurt our poor little feet. Come on -- we only do our walking in the gym, on a machine.

But wait: Our brilliant technorati could solve the problem of not having enough cabs by moving colored dots around on a Muni map! So you can see the cab that isn't there! Or you could consider actually riding Muni, and use that smart phone to check nextbus, which works really well already -- although it doesn't have any info about boats, which is going to be really helpful if you're going to the Sunset where you might actually get laid if you were man enough to find a cab by sticking your hand out. (Just be sure you don't stick out more than your hand or Scott Wiener will get you.[2])

Oh, and those crazy, rotten vegans who scrawl tags on the walls? Use Twitter to get rid of them! Stuck getting your email in a laundramat? Poor you -- the place needs citywide wifi! Even though everyone gets email on a phone these days. No problem -- our tech wizards can transform all the old phone booths into Wifi hotspots (except: which phone booths are those and where are they?)

Now, there's always a chance that you're a Spanish-speaking resident of the Mission who is tired of all the hipsters who have invaded your neighborhood and are driving up rents and forcing your family to leave town. Sorry -- there's nothing we can do about that.

So everyone should vote Yes on E, so the tech companies that hire a lot of people but don't make any money can avoid paying taxes.

That's what sf.citi is saying. Literally.

Please, people, please, please: Don't you realize this is a city, a really cool city that, like all cities today, has its social problems, most of which will never be solved by social media? There is no magical tech solution to homelessness and poverty; in fact, the tech boom is only making those problems worse. Most of the worst urban problems in San Francisco are related to a lack of money -- something that's made worse by tax breaks for tech companies.

I'm not saying we shouldn't try to make the city better, and that there aren't some fairly simple steps that could help with fairly simple problems. But when you came here, you didn't move to magic-land. This city isn't Farmville; it's an actual place with people who've lived here a long time who have been struggling with a lot of things (like crime and a lack of affordable housing) that citi.sf doesn't seem interested in.

So this snappy little video comes off as elitist, puerile, and uninformed. (Oh, and that part about the Mission and the hipsters is really disturbing, on a lot of levels that these folks don't seem to comprehend.)