Citizens of hope and glory, I look at the world and I notice a red car in the fountain, so this must be what people once called, and still call, winter. And as I am he as you are he as you are me and I’m the space invader, I’ll be a rock ‘n rollin’ bitch for you and gather the most notorious music professors in town to contemplate the most vital question of the year: “Which is the best rock album of all time?”. Heading into the fifth edition this year, we’re looking for successors of Selling England by the Pound, Kid A, The Velvet Underground & Nico, Band on the Run,What’s Going On, Blood on the Tracks and Revolver.

Well, if you wanna see the sun rise honey, I know where, as I’m not alone in this smoky dark cave. Of course there’s RKH, going strong since 2012, and be quick or he might already be gone: Guus ‘Rockin’ Chair’ Fog. Too late! Anyway, they say he comes on a pale horse, but I’m sure I hear a hybrid car, so that must be Donald ‘Ramblin’ Oude Kamphuis actually rejoining the armed forces this year. This means 2016 will be brought to an end with a great musical blast, so trouble ahead, lady in red, and the results of the first autumn nights:

“Sir, I finished your inaugural speech for the Changing of the Guard. I restlessly worked on it all night and I’m curious after your opinion.”

“That’s great news, boy. Can you read it aloud for me please?”

“Beloved people of the free world, it is a huge honor for me to address you here today as the new Appointed One on the occasion of this Changing. A Changing that, for me personally, is a Changing that asks for remembrance and commemoration. Remembrance, so we won’t forget what we overcame in the past. Commemoration, so we won’t lose sight of the challenges we are still facing today and in the future.

Dear ladies and gentlemen, first of all are you witnessing the tenth Changing on this special day, meaning that we are celebrating the 50th birthday of your courageous revolt, a revolt of the people of the free world standing here on this sacred ground, as well as their brave forefathers who are sadly no longer among us. A revolt against the repulsive and repelling system of elections. The elderly among you, and I’m addressing these advocates of freedom with the greatest respect, will surely remember the disgusting and shameless scenes that this moldy concept bore at the end of its existence. Two street fighting parties, slandering each other with irrelevant details from their private lives during vulgar charades; we are praising ourselves never ever having to face that again. A revolt in which the free people, with the keyboard as the new megaphone, took their responsibility for dispersing nothing less than the truth. Down with political colors, as our interests were always the same, as they still are today: freedom. Freedom to trade and freedom to defend oneself against unfree ideas and visions.

Beloved people, let us also remember that the striving after freedom has always been a common theme running through our rich history, in which many unfree people were redeemed from their chains. We might go a long way back, and remember the brave immigrant Columbus, who freed the black people from the Indian indigenous tradition of slavery. But think also of our Asian friends, who were freed from imperial aggression in Vietnam and with whom we completely rebuilt, shoulder to shoulder, the wonderful cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, after they were completely destroyed by the horrific nuclear attacks of the evil empire.

Think also of our Eastern European friends, who suffered for many years from the unfree idea of solidarity, an idea that preached the end of history and deceived its believers by stating that there was no alternative to neosolidarism. What started as ‘there is no alternative’ ultimately ended as ‘there is no other pill to take, so swallow the one that made you ill’, using every systemic crisis to further exploit the unfree, and spreading lies with completely monopolized mass media to preserve the rotten system. Always different names, always the same hungry bodies, let us not forget them. Let us also not forget that they were able to overthrew their walls and seize the palaces of their corrupt leaders once we came to their rescue.

And people, think also of our friends from the south. Who doesn’t remember the revolt of the brave Mexican people against its own unfree government? A government that desperately tried to keep our ideal of freedom outside its borders, culminating in the absurd idea of building a wall along the entire border, a wall wé were supposed to pay for, we, people of the free world! However, as you know, this ridiculous idea and its government was toppled by the Mexican people, who since that moment are able to enjoy the delights of the free world, for example the thousands of zealous guest workers who are enriching our fashion industry every day. Always different names, always the same cheap manpower.

Ladies and gentlemen of the free world, let us at last also seize the opportunity to commemorate our own fallen heroes, who defended our freedom throughout the years. On this matter, I particularly want to honor the numerous victims of the attack on LA on February 25th 1942, as well as those who suffered from the complete destruction of the same city by the endless Iraqi air strikes sixty years later.

Dear friends, free people of the free world, the idea of freedom is embedded in the DNA of this wide nation, and I want to conclude with a little personal anecdote to illustrate this. When I arrived in this wonderful town this morning, I met a wonderful young guy called Jim. I asked him why his clothes were so dirty and he told me that he was repairing his car. “Do you love your car, Jim?”, I asked him, and he said: ”That car is my life, Sir. It brings me wherever I want to go; for me, freedom grows out of the tailpipe of my car.”. My friends, people like Jim remind me of the fact that freedom has different meanings for all of us, from trade to driving a car, and I will dedicate the next five years of my life to ensuring that freedom for every single one of you, as it may glimmer on the New Northern Horizon forever!”

“Very well done, Winston, very well done. Can I ask you something, son?”

Good morning boys and girls, take your history books out and open it again at chapter 23: ‘Europe: Endless? (150-50 B. OWG)’. Put yourself in a comfortable position and switch your focus to maximum power, as this chapter presents itself as all-comprehensive and will be treated without any break. So Maxine, put away that walkman and listen together with the rest of the group carefully to the following sound fragment.

…

Sweet. So what did you hear guys? How could you link it with what we saw last week? Mima?

Artificial, fictitious sounds. But nevertheless somehow recognizable. It was not all organic, notwithstanding it did have a certain kind of verve in it… Last time we spoke about how the population in new urban areas started to grow, surrounded by machines and industry. They must have become acquainted with a whole new range of sounds they’d never heard before.

Absolutely. The European continent was developing on various domains at an enormous high pace, one that was never seen before. What you heard was a nice example of cross-pollination, an example of how culture was fed by the economic and technological world it was created in. Those technological innovations of course also greatly influenced the sociological domain, what to think for example about the rise of the high-speed train? You should realize that free of charge flying for everybody was not introduced till 60 B. OWG, so this train really was the first-rate way to visit and discover all those new countries during the early years. Travelling quick from metropolis to metropolis, suddenly it became reality with this miraculous machine. All those borders between all those former different countries seemed to disappear aboard of this train, and the New Europe seemed to be one infinite entity. Nationalities that were at physical war with each other for about 95% of the time during the previous gazillion years, wasn’t it great that they all dissolved in this one, big, promising European identity now? What it certainly promised was prosperity. Prosperity, welfare and an unlimited wealth for everybody. It was the fulfillment of the last part of this promise that proved to become the greatest battle for Europe in the decades to follow.

The continent seemed to wallow in elegance and decadence, which indeed became reality for a certain amount of the New Europeans, while it was destined to remain an imagination for others. At this point, history offered two options: ensure that this balance will be restored again or ensure that the boundaries between reality and imagination become invisible. The last one was picked, supported by the infinite opportunities that the digital revolution now had to offer.

Boys and girls, and this is really important, when a person doesn’t have an awful lot to be proud of or happy about in real life, you give this person a mirror. Obviously this won’t change his reality, but what does it matter when you’ll only have to see and show your reflection? This reflection can be completely adapted to your likings, eventually becoming a totally different result. After a while, it doesn’t matter anymore how you perceive things yourself, but only how others perceive you.

This is exactly where we situate the origins of the so-called ‘dummie-mass’, that would persistently ensure the stability of the young and ambitious continent during the following decades. Called after synthetic dolls that were used to sell certain products and their accompanying ideas, the dummies were considered not to be able to think for themselves any longer. The only thing the dummies were expected to do, was to utter that which was put in first, hereby permanently striving after an enormous uniformity with its congeners. That’s why they often speak about ‘the human being as flawless minimalistic pop-art’ when talking about this era. Are there any questions?

Who actually was the creator of the sound fragment we heard?

Well, the artist was officially never discovered, but according to unofficial research he should have been a pre-European, Austrian composer who lived a quite enigmatic life, as a result of which there’s very little known about him. All right, next week we’ll see how Europe evolves towards 1 B. OWG, with the interchangeable relation between humans and robots and the rise of a new source of power: control of data.

I already ran into him on the first day of my stay, during a short hike around the guest house, the first evening after arriving. It approached me against a background of nightfall and lush broadleaf trees, this bowed silhouette with large, black hat. I politely saluted him ‘Good evening.’ (greeting passers-by is always one of the first social corrections a city dweller makes after leaving his natural habitat), and it grumbled something incomprehensible.

I saw him again the next morning, when he shuffled into the breakfast room. He queued up, decorated with black sunglasses, looked down when the waitress was serving his British delicacies, and growled something when she asked if the gentleman would prefer two or three sausages. He seated at the table next to mine and started the processing of his plate carbohydrates. A short break was inserted halfway, when he took a sip of his coffee and asked me without giving a look: “Here for hiking?”. “Mainly for the pretty women”, I said while nodding towards the table opposite to ours, where a number of devouring creatures had plumped down, whose ancestors were at the time wisely left behind on the island by the Vikings. He looked at me, as far as that was possible from behind the sunglasses, and something that could pass for a smile appeared on his face. “If you would like to make a long hike, I leave one hour after breakfast”, he said.

One hour and eighteen minutes later, I was waiting at the entrance of the guest house in my comfortable hence completely tasteless outfit, when the former shadow appeared. The black hat, dark sunglasses, long coat and black boots passed me by without a word and after a brief moment of astonishment I started to follow him. The glorious woods of the Green Country were reached quickly due to his high pace, and I took the risk of asking a question. Yes, he was indeed well acquainted with the area, already coming here in his youth, lying around the river on cool summer nights. I was still trying to paint that picture in my head, constantly walking one meter behind him, while he deliberately told more. How he kept returning here with friends and women, offering them the perfect setting for endless conversations about literature and poetry. Countless times had he walked these tracks with a girlfriend of that time, who he had met during one of his sparse social escapades at Miss Lucy’s. I’d already read about this place and its notorious binges in the brochure that the owner of the guest house had given me, being mentioned as one of the main attractions in the region. However, she left for the US to pursue a career in show business and he’d never seen her since.

After a while we arrived at a small crossroads, where he decided to have a short break, not fully to my dismay considering the shape I was in. He asked where I was from. “From the city”, I said. He repeated those last two words, but this time accompanied by a cynical undertone, while he offered his whiskey flask. “I also lived in the city for a while. Never liked it. Too many people that I actually didn’t want to get to know, in an environment that is completely constructed on reason and ratio. Never a proper view at the stars, too much light.”… “I always remained a stranger in my own town, got the feeling that I could no longer trust anyone after some affairs. Danish or sandwich?”. I opted for the danish, we carefully ate our lunch in silence, he blew his nose and grumbled “Geronimo” before taking off again.

I was taking in the astonishing nature and asked my guide after the length of our undertaking, initially answered by some silence. “People waste too much time by asking too many stupid questions. Just make sure you reach a point where you learn something you’ll remember the rest of your life. What’s your greatest sin?”, he asked. “A general disappointment in the entire humanity”, I said. The Hat remained silent, while The Boots drudged on through a long mud trail. The next hill (up and down) was also consumed in silence, he just looked behind him once, and like if he was amused by the visibly weary look on my face, he started to whistle while accelerating just a tiny bit.

He sipped another time in the valley and he actually started to talk again. “When distrust becomes destructive, it manifests itself as the impossibility to appreciate anything at all. Those people end up as collector’s items in museums that nobody visits.” We walked on and I hoped for another short break when he opened up his bag again, but that proved to be wishful thinking when he handed over a last snack while carrying on. “Always remember that you’re part of humanity yourself too, so there must be something good about it.”, he said while our path met the river again. He stopped and spoke: “We’re at your point. To get back home again, you just keep walking alongside the water for about four miles. It’s not the shortest way, but the river doesn’t mind.” He shook my hand, tipped his hat and wandered back into the woods.