Maud Dib:Came home from the pub one night, the porch light was off. Saw something to my left, opened the front door and turned on the porch light.....

OH HAI[i865.photobucket.com image 320x240]

heh

A friend of the family, when we were living in Tucson, opened his front door one evening. A tarantula marched right into the house, strolled through, and stopped at the sliding glass door on the other side. And he waited. The guy opened the glass door, and the tarantula marched out. The thing treated the house like a goddamn highway.

Wise_Guy:xanadian: I like spiders. I used to let them build webs in my bedroom when I was a teen. Not because I was goth or anything like that, but because they were VERY good at keeping the # of mosquitoes down.

I never understood that logic.

It's like keeping a Crip in your house to keep the Bloods away.

Hey man, don't dis Latrelle. He does a good job, and I get to claim him on my tax returns as a dependent.

Googles a bit.Discovers that thing is called a 'coconut crab.'More Googling.Discovers that it's diet "consists primarily of fleshy fruits (particularly Ochrosia ackeringae, Arenga listeri, Pandanus elatus, P. christmatensis), nuts (coconuts Cocos nucifera, Aleurites moluccana) and seeds (Annona reticulata),[35] and on the pith of fallen trees."Relief at the fact that it's harmless.Keeps reading, finds "Coconut crabs may be responsible for the disappearance of Amelia Earhart's remains, consuming them after her death and hoarding her skeletal remnants in their burrows."Great, now it reads like something straight out of the Monster Manual.Stops reading.Backs slowly out of the thread.Plans on going to to bed secure in the knowledge that those things don't live anywhere near the Sonora Desert . . .right?

xanadian:I like spiders. I used to let them build webs in my bedroom when I was a teen. Not because I was goth or anything like that, but because they were VERY good at keeping the # of mosquitoes down.

xanadian:I like spiders. I used to let them build webs in my bedroom when I was a teen. Not because I was goth or anything like that, but because they were VERY good at keeping the # of mosquitoes down.

Interesting, I'll keep that in mind. My usual tactic is to live in a building with doors.

Mercutio74:CavalierEternal: jeanwearinfool: sno man: robbiex0r: Grown men afraid of spiders is the sissiest thing on the internet.

ponies.

Amen.

Here here.

I just offer this one piece of info. My daughter is 4 and she enjoys My Little Pony. I was watching it with her one day and a group of ponies went to the bowling alley. There was a pony in the BG with a hair net. That caught my eye, and then I realized that the pony in question was dressed as Jesus from the Big Lebowski. I wont' say I understand bronies... but I have less disdain for them now.

/And honestly, MLP is far from the worst thing available for kids to watch... there's some terrifically bad children's programming out there//I'm looking at you, Wiggles... you farking talentless farks

And now, onto the icky tale of spider stuff:Hiking along the Na'pali coast of Kauai will bring you through some sections thick with vegetation. The good part is at some points, yellow liliko'i (passion fruit) is just hanging from the trees for a delightful snack. The bad part would be webs of cane spiders that you might walk face-first into before you see them. The trail is so scenic you're constantly focusing your gaze hundreds of yards away. They look pretty much like what Burr posted directly above me.

roflmaonow:Uchiha_Cycliste:Did you see the video earlier this week of a spider killed by a spray of bug spray only to have a worm wriggle spiral its way out? I swear to god the worm looked bigger than the spider. Anyways, rethink the spray approach.

Spider thread! Time to tell my terrifying story again! You may have read it in another spider thread!

I was smoking and reading a book on the back porch late one night when I lived with my mom and it was well after midnight. I felt something brush my cheek and just wiped it away and didn't think anything of it. A few moments later it was back and I brushed again. After the third time I was getting suspicious, so I looked up to my left there, slowly falling towards me like like they're Easy Company and the rest of the 101st airborne parachuting into France, is a large cloud of black widow babies falling at me. I was pretty freaked out for the rest of the night and would randomly start brushing myself furiously when I felt anything.

/other than that I love spiders, they kill real bugs so I don't have to//csb

Normally I don't have a problem with spiders (especially ones on a computer screen; seriously you guys are that wimpy??), but I lived in Texas for about a year and a half cumulatively. I knew at some point I was going to see a spider about the size of my palm, and I also knew it would end up in a corner, the hardest fricking spot in a house to kill one because there's no way you can get a boot in there; I don't wear pointed shoes.

So I grab the handle of this broom and I think to myself that one of three things is going to happen:

1) The spider will run across the wall, into the closet, and I'll have a helluva time finding it.2) It will run down the wall, at which point I'm free to smash it as many times as I need to until it's dead3) It will run right down the broomstick; at me. . . (dummy me didn't think of what to do if that happened)

I stab at it, and, of course, it runs down the broomstick. I let out the most girly scream I've ever screamed in my life (usually I sound more like a guy yelling ARRG! than a girl), throw the broomstick on the floor, and stomp the fark out of the spider. I ended up with a half-dollar-sized mass of parts on the bottom of my shoe, which I show my then-husband when he gets home. I felt slightly better when he (6'1, 375 lbs) lets out a similarly girly-type scream.

dookdookdook:Uchiha_Cycliste: Did you see the video earlier this week of a spider killed by a spray of bug spray only to have a worm wriggle spiral its way out? I swear to god the worm looked bigger than the spider. Anyways, rethink the spray approach.

Oh no, the Tilex is just to stun/drench/immobilize it long enough for me to catch it and turn it into a disgusting smear on the wall (and then later to clean up the smear)

I'm glad you have a plan. Good luck! And we're all counting on you. Surely your plan can't fail.

My props go out to the jumping spiders though. Web spinners and hidey ambush predators like this, they are impressive, but jumping spiders, they say "Screw this! I'mma just run up and murder the crap out of some bug, and eat it RIGHT THERE!" Most are tiny, but you have to admire these little buggers for having HUGE cojones. And they've been doing it for over 50 million years.