The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

GRANOLAS

GRANOLAS ARE A TYPE OF PEOPLE THAT ARE CLASSIFIED BY THE
LEVELS OF GRAINS (1-5). YOU MUST HAVE THE QUALITIES OF THE
PREVIOUS GRAINS TO GO ONTO THE NEXT LEVEL.
THE FIRST GRAIN WEARS HIPPIE-TYPE CLOTHES (BAGGY SKIRTS AND
LOTS OF PAISLEY), HAS LONG HAIR AND TALKS ABOUT ENVIRONMENTAL
PHILOSOPHY AND PEACE.
THE SECOND GRAIN IS SOMEONE WHO PLAYS "THE INSTRUMENT" (THE
GUITAR). OR RIDES A MOUNTAIN BIKE IN SUBZERO DEGREE WEATHER.
THE THIRD GRAIN IS ANYONE WHO IS IN A GREEN PEACE ORGANIZATION
SUCH AS GREEN PEACE.
THE FOURTH GRAIN IS SOMEONE WHO LIVES BY THEMSELF IN A SHACK
IN THE MOUNTAINS.
THE FIFTH GRAIN TALKS ENVIRONMENTAL PHILOSOPHY THAT IS "OVER
THE HEAD" OF ANYONE OTHER THAN ANOTHER 5 GRAIN GRANOLA.

Submitter comment:
THIS WAS REFERRED TO BY THE FRIEND AS "WESTERN SLANG."

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