Learn exactly what a putter does and why you
should never stick your tongue in the ball cleaner, as you make golf your educational
destiny.You’ll probably
be spending most of your time in or around beer during your college years, so cut
out the middleman and study beer production.
You never know, it might be financially astute to create your own vino rather than
blow your loan on stockpiling all that boxed stuff you love.No, you won’t be
dealing with really weighty Yuccas and Geraniums; it’s the study of big machines
like cranes and diggers. Don’t
be silly, this isn’t sorting out the intimate diseases of zoo animals, it’s investigating
the crazy world of amphibians and reptiles (who are riddled with many intimate diseases).Perhaps this will float your
boat? Learn how many portholes are too many portholes as the science of ships is
explained to you.
Do you wish to wear a facemask with aplomb? Ever wondered how the sucky tube thing
works and where all the saliva goes? Do you love out of date magazines and soft
rock radio stations? This is the course for you.
We bet you’ll be dead good at this – learn everything you could possibly ever want
to know about funerals, embalming and professional pall-bearing. A great icebreaker
at parties.Do you want to know how
exactly your Nan works and what makes her go? Then don’t bother with this, as it’s
chemistry based and deals with tiny little atoms and molecules.Yes, you can currently slip a few Norse
words into polite conversation, but you could always learn more, as you will with
this ancient linguistic course. And it will give you a chance to wear that Viking
costume you love.Find your photographs
tend to be vague and unspecific? Perhaps they need a location! Instead of randomly
clicking the shutter at unknown targets, learn to point your camera at actual things
that exist!If you are
anything like us, then your ambition is to be the most powerful human being who
has ever walked the Earth. This fitness course is the first step towards achieving
that.Sadly,
we thought this would be three years watching old Midsomer Murders and Miss Marple
on UK Gold – but instead you delve into forensic science, criminology and law.Great!
Finally a medical psychic course to predict future illnesses and accidents! Oh wait,
no, it teaches you how to be a paramedic.
What’s avionics you ask? Well obviously it’s the study of electronics and… Avs.
You know Avs, those little, furry, beige-coloured… we're being told its airplanes,
electronics and airplanes. Sorry about that.
Cardigans! You could spend three whole years surveying every single aspect of the
cardigan and cardiganning if you wish! Wouldn’t that be great? (Yes).This sounds like a clever way of
saying ‘I’m going to go surfing for several years’. Learn all the science connected
to surfing, such as why your skin goes wrinkly and what ‘cowabunga’ really means.Be the most popular possible person
in dorms when you gather the expertise to create bread, buns and many, many cakes.
You may even meet the shadowy Mr. Kipling.
Yes you can stick an iron shoe onto the foot of a horse successfully, but couldn’t
you throw a few artistic splashes in there? If you want to be at the forefront of
contemporary forged metalwork practice, have a crack at this.
Surprisingly, it seems the current heads of most governmental departments hold this
degree. But it’s not all clowning and trapeze – you’ll have a go in the ticket booth
and clean up after the ponies.
Learn how to sculpt a leading brand of margarine artistically – no, don’t be silly,
this course gives you green fingers literally (not literally) as you master the
art of displaying flowers expertly.
Want to be a Horse Whisperer? Or a Cat Whisperer? Or even a Fish Whisperer? Learn
how to spot when your animal is doing something weird and how to stop them doing
it with this course.Is
this an expert course in chat up lines (i.e. how to compliment someone’s body and
the therapy required when you’re rejected?) Sadly no, this is all about massage,
reflexology and aromatherapy.
Scabs, pus, sores and odd discharges are just some of the tutorials you will enjoy
as you study global sicknesses and all things icky and gross. Bring your own swabs.No, you won’t be focusing on
the recovery of some of the sports world’s more troubled stars (Gazza we’re looking
at you). You’ll be helping athletes sort out their injury troubles and mastering
the art of the magic sponge.Not only will you
meet the midwife – you’ll be the midwife! Though we imagine all the ‘Call the Midwife’
references will get old quite quickly during this course involving childbirth and
care.You could be taught how to design ‘things’
but wouldn’t you rather learn how to design the spaces in between ‘things’? It will
probably take a lot less time. Or possibly you design things to go into the spaces,
that would make more sense.Do you want
to make a splash at global events such as Live Aid, Eurovision or Olympics opening
ceremonies? Well, this course doesn’t do that, it teaches you performance techniques
from arts disciplines the world over.Theo Walcott?
Theo Paphitis? Fictional bald police detective Theo Kojak? These are just some of
the Theos you won’t be studying as you take this course concerning religion.We were hoping this
was a course aimed at those who want to help animals but also love thrill-seeking,
involving rocket cars, jet-packs and quad bikes. Where do we sign up? But no, you
can just get your vets qualification slightly more quickly. Shame.

SIGN UP FOR THE STUDENT LIFE EMAIL

Sign up to the Student Life newsletter to get UCAS Application tips and advice every month.

START YOUR SEARCH

Start your search by choosing a location in the UK, a specific university or course
subject. From your initial results you can refine further to build up a list of
courses that match your exact requirements.