Sunday, September 6, 2009

my musical home

Tonight I organized my movies and cooked dinner to the sound of happy jazz spinning on vinyl. Last night I fell asleep to Matthew (my 18-year-old cousin/live-in nanny here in search of a band to join) playing guitar softly. Today we set up the keyboards and B jammed. Then we watched Gimme Shelter and sang/played along. Outside my window is a symphony of the city.

It's days like today, when I am surrounded by art, music and family, that I wonder how it ever got so bad? How did I ever think the pain and confusion was worth it? How did I ever feel too self conscious to sing, too sad to watch movies? How did life ever get so dark and dull that I thought there was no way I could keep going? I never want to lose myself again, now that I have found her in this tiny, musical apartment in this huge, cacophonous city.