What a tweeze!

Spring is here, fellas, and you know what that means: Ass-less chaps season is right around the corner! Time to get that hairy ol' butt of yours waxed, polished, plucked and ready to say, "Hello, summer!"

What? You're not planning to attend International Mr. Leather this Memorial Day (May 25-29)? Well, how 'bout the Pride Parade, Northalsted Market Days, Sundays at Hollywood Beach, Hot Jock Contests at Crew or Shower Nights at Spin? If you're a gay man who needs an excuse to bare a little flesh, you don't have to look very hard.

But do us a favor: Tend to that overgrown garden of back hair first. We know just the guys for the job.

Chicago Male, a six-week-old hair and body salon, updates the corner clip joint for the post-"Queer Eye" age. "It's a modernized version of what our dads or our grandpas went to," says owner Scott Neasham. The smallish, five-chair studio offers masculine touches of dark wood accents, natural earth tones on the walls and a really macho stone fireplace facade as focal point. Too bad it has one of those fake fire thingies inside; Thom Filicia would just faint.

Who cares. Unlike Filicia and his flock, Chicago Male's not out to turn straight men into pseudo gay men; there are, after all, Web sites for that. This place retains a strong focus on a gay male clientele. Yeah, sure, naturally, of course, of course: Straight dudes are welcome. And with the changing demographics of this 'hood, they'll certainly find it a convenient place to get a trim, and the prices are seductive.

In addition to $25 cuts--a relative bargain 'round these parts--Chicago Male offers $15 butch buzz cuts (we hear some neighborhood gals love 'em), a $30 get-rid-of-the-gray treatment, and highlights and coloring start at $30. There are also facials ($65-$80); back treatments; and hand, foot and shoulder massages ($90-$100) available. And, finally, you don't have to go to the Gold Coast for high-end hair and skin care products. Jack Black, Truefitt & Hill, 4Voo: The selection here is every bit as good as Barneys'.

But the real highlight of Chicago Male is the manscaping. From a $12 eyebrow cleanup (pluck, pluck!) to a $65 thong wax (ouch, ouch!), Chicago Male promises, "If you can grow it, we can trim it." I put them to the test.

No stranger to the ol' wax-and-rip, I chose a neck ($20) and back wax ($45) from the a la carte menu of services. (Sorry, I'm not ready for a $35 Speedo-friendly bikini wax). The process for both took about 30 minutes and was no more painful than removing a loosely affixed Band-Aid. So far, so good.

Then came my fatal error. Chicago Male also offers $15 body hair trimming--clippers, not wax--for chest and, well, other parts. Hey, why not trim off some of this bushy chest hair? You know, "Just a little off the top, please." Ha, ha. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

With your chest, however, if you're in for the pecs, you're in for the pound and should be willing to go all the way. I wasn't.So, now with my hairy stomach and a relatively clean-shaven chest, I look like I'm encased in a rather ill-fitting fur corset. Go outside like this? Are you kidding? "Fur is dead!" I can already hear someone from PETA screaming as they douse me in red paint.

Either that, or I'm going to get drafted for a float in the next Pride Parade.

A burst of thunderstorm activity across the Chicago area on Sunday afternoon resulted in a death and multiple injuries at an event in west suburban Wood Dale, the collapse of a dome in northwest suburban Rosemont and the temporary evacuation of the music festival Lollapalooza in Grant Park downtown.

The father of a 20-year-old Carol Stream, Ill., woman who drowned at Indiana's Porter Beach on Friday night identified her body Sunday afternoon after a rescue team pulled her from Lake Michigan, authorities said.

Clayton Richard pitched six innings of one-run ball and hit an RBI double Sunday as the Cubs held on for a 4-3 victory over the Brewers. Closer Hector Rondon allowed three hits in the ninth before retiring Logan Schafer on a line drive to center field with the tying run at second to end the game....