It can seem like the anguish of missing a loved one will never leave us, but there comes a time when we have to face the day-to-day demands of life! There will be many things we relied upon our spouse to fix or fulfil, and suddenly we find ourselves ‘the sole fixer’ with little or no knowledge of changing a plug or making a meat pie.

For some, facing a challenge is the stuff of life, but for others, inspiration is sorely lacking. Minor and major tasks around the house remain undone and the proverbial ‘take-away’ becomes the norm for those who don’t like to cook. These short-comings only serve to increase our sense of loss, and friends and family will become concerned about your lack of motivation. This is far more normal than you might think and with gentle encouragement from those around you there will come a time when you feel able to cope.

Having some photographs of your loved one around the home are important and although they will make you sad, sometimes, they will also serve to remind you of how lucky you were to have had this person in your life.

Losing someone you love does not mean they will be forgotten. Nothing can ever take away your memories of cherished moments together and these moments can be shared with friends and family who will no doubt want to share memories of their own.

There will be the constant reminders like their favourite chair, the garden they tended, the pet who adored him/her and the children who bare his resemblance.

Also, you will have your own special memorial where you can go and remember him/her with a significant epitaph that encapsulates his/her life and your loss. Some prefer to plant a tree and others have a memorial seat in a much-loved space, like a park or garden.

In spite of the rush of life, there is little chance you will forget the one who once shared your life. Their face will come to mind at unexpected moments and things they said will resonate within, when you’re least expecting it.

The feelings experienced immediately after losing someone you love can be intense. Moments filled with pain, sorrow and loneliness can also be accompanied with unanswered questions and remorse at words left unspoken.

How you go about dealing with losing someone you love can depend upon a range of factors. These could include the length of time you had known each other, the shared history and emotional ties you had, as well as children and any other extended family, which united you in some way.

While this can all be quite overwhelming, it’s important to take one step at a time and allow yourself to express the emotions you’re feeling naturally and spontaneously. Giving in to these emotions will ensure any pain you’re experiencing is soothed rather than suppressed and any pent-up frustrations have an outlet and can be released.

Surrounding yourself with people who care about your well-being is essential; especially those who may have been connected to the person as well. Keeping things which remind you of your loved one can also be a source of help, whether they are photos or mementos – anything that can act as a quick reminder of their life and your shared relationship.

As time goes on, remembering the happy times you spent together, as well as writing down any thoughts or feelings these memories evoke, will help you gain some perspective and move forward with a renewed appreciation of what their life gave to you.

Ultimately, giving yourself as much time as you need to heal is vital. Time is a great healer and you will eventually know when you feel able to move forward again with your life.

Losing a loved one is an unfortunate fact of life. Sometimes people pass away unexpectedly whilst still young, at other times, naturally, after a long illness, or old age.

While we can remain attached to the memory of the bereaved person’s life, we miss the more intimate aspects too. Regular interactions, conversations and shared activities and interests may all be sadly missed, and a source of pain as we come to accept our loved one is no longer with us.

Coping with the bereavement of a husband or wife is an experience many have to go through at some point in their life. Whether the death was expected or unforeseen, the experience can lead to feelings of numbness, shock and a sense of uncertainty about the future. The initial stages of grief will naturally change the usual pattern and flow of a person’s life, while they come to terms with the change and adapt to their new set of circumstances.

Having close family and friends nearby during the initial period can help while the bereaved mourn and come to terms with their new life state. In time they will need to make their own adjustments and gradually become used to living life without their partner.

Taking this period slowly is crucial, ensuring that no important decisions are made too quickly. Being part of a grief support group can be helpful, as is maintaining a healthy diet and daily routine.

Bereavement can be described as the period of mourning after the death of a loved one. Somebody who has been widowed, orphaned or who has lost someone close to them can all be placed in the category of being bereaved.

Grief and Depression are unwanted reminders of your loss and if after a period of time you’ve found that grief is stopping you from functioning normally, it may be that you’re suffering from depression brought on by your bereavement.

Everybody has their own way of experiencing and expressing grief, and with this in mind, each person will have their own natural pace of coming to terms with their loss. It’s inevitable that during the grieving process, periods of sadness and anxiety will take hold, while you come to terms with the reality of not seeing your deceased partner again.

However, this usually leads to a period of acceptance and a willingness to move forward again. If this is not forthcoming and the depression persists, it may be necessary to seek professional help to ensure you’re getting all the support you need.

Talking with a doctor and/or grief counsellor will enable you to reveal what is stopping you from moving forward and explore any underlying emotions that may yet to be expressed.

Letting a widow or widower know you’re there for them can be enough to help them get through any difficult times. Arranging to meet or speak at a regular time each day, week or whenever, can help them keep a structure to their life, as well as giving them something to focus on.

Including them in invitations and gatherings, while not putting any pressure on them to actually attend, can act as a useful measure for how they’re feeling and whether they’re ready to move on and reconnect.

Also, offering support with any practicalities of their life may be welcomed, providing it’s done in a way that does not come across as interfering. Making yourself available in this way can give them the space to grieve without feeling weighed-down with any pressing tasks that could easily be carried out by someone else.

When supporting someone who is going through the grieving process, the best thing you can do is listen. By simply listening to whatever it is they have to say, without trying to pass any judgement or steer the conversation in a particular direction, you give the person grieving the opportunity to come to terms with what has happened. Giving somebody the space to express how they’re feeling can act as an important part of their healing process, helping to soothe their pain and unlock any further emotional experiences.

In their book ‘On Grief & Grieving’, authors Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler define five different stages of grief as follows:

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Here, they define these five different stages as ‘part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost’. Rather than being a linear step-by-step process, they act as an outline to help identify the emotions being experienced.

With this in mind, each stage can encompass other stages unique to your own life experiences and set of circumstances.

For example, between the stages of Bargaining and Depression, there can be a period of Reflection, where you seek time alone to gain perspective on what has happened and how it fits into the broader narrative of your life.

Similarly, between the stages of Depression and Acceptance, there can be an ‘upward turn’, period of growth, where new found hope can begin to manifest as you witness life moving on around you.

By maintaining a healthy daily routine, the different stages of grief can be experienced in a way most natural to you.

The length of time it takes for somebody to go through the grieving process is specific to each individual. After the initial experience of losing someone close to you, there can be a period of time when you’re slowly coming to terms with the fact they are no longer around. Gradually you will find yourself rebuilding a new way of life without them.

Your grief is as unique as you are and the process of accepting a person’s death needs time. When feelings of grief manifest, it’s best to go with what feels natural and not enforce any specific time period for overcoming the emotions you’re feeling.

Knowing how to grieve is a crucial factor following bereavement and it’s not a good idea to put any particular time limit on how long your grieving process might last. As much as it’s important to heal and move forward with your life, it’s not necessary to impose any time scale on how and when you expect to feel better.

Letting your grief take it’s time and flow naturally, will allow any pain and sorrow to manifest of their own accord, rather than suppressing feelings in the hope they will go away. If you have children, it can be natural to want to remain strong and in control of what is going on around you, but it’s important to maintain a keen awareness of your own feelings and emotions.

When someone you love dies, the experience can bring with it an opportunity to reflect upon your own life and reassess what is of most significance. Going for long walks surrounded by nature, spending quality time with those close to you and writing down any thoughts that come to mind are all actions that will help you to heal your heart and to rediscover your drive.

How to deal with grief is a personal process; where coming to terms with the sorrow and facing up to the future is something that can only happen when you’re fully ready.

Giving yourself over to the grieving process can itself prove challenging, especially if you have children to support and other responsibilities to take care of.

Writer on loss and grief, Elaine Mansfield, provides a range of useful suggestions, including the importance of connecting with nature on a daily basis. Also, upping your exercise regime, reaching out to others who are in need, and re-organising and re-arranging your home. These are all distractions, which can help to take your mind off of your grief, while achieving a useful and potentially practical or helpful outcome in the process.

There can also be something said for writing things down. There are many testaments to the benefits of keeping a journal or blog to help arrange thoughts and build a clearer picture of how you’re feeling. Going back and reading over how you were feeling can also help you to see how you’re progressing, and to look back on how far you’ve come.

Grief counselling is a form of therapy where a grieving person seeks the support of a qualified counsellor to navigate their way through the changes brought about with the loss of a loved one.

Everybody grieves differently and at their own pace. Having a grief counsellor on hand to help with the different stages of emotion can be beneficial, allowing the person to understand and reflect upon their emotions in a healthy and sensitive way.

Grief counsellors can also help the person adapt to their new set of circumstances; providing them with a framework to embrace any uncertain feelings gently, and resolving any issues yet to be explored.

Grief counselling is a form of therapy where a grieving person seeks the support of a qualified counsellor to navigate their way through the changes brought about with the loss of a loved one.

Everybody grieves differently and at their own pace. Having a grief counsellor on hand to help with the different stages of emotion can be beneficial, allowing the person to understand and reflect upon their emotions in a healthy and sensitive way.

Grief counsellors can also help the person adapt to their new set of circumstances; providing them with a framework to embrace any uncertain feelings gently, and resolving any issues yet to be explored.