Saturday, March 16, 2013

Bad week, bad habits, and a reminder from babies.

You know those weeks where you eat whole pints of ice cream in one sitting and make multiple visits to frozen yogurt joints? (Yes, I tend to bathe my woes in cream and sugar. Don’t judge.) Well, last week was definitely one of those weeks. I have a pretty fabulous life so I normally don’t have more than a few hours of “bad” but last week was just plain rotten. Like when you accidentally leave old food in a tupperware container for 2 weeks and then open it. Gross. (Yes, that happens every now and then. I live alone and I forget things. Again, don’t judge). But I have good news for you, and me, well mostly me because you don’t have to deal with me when I get all bad moody. Unless I leave you voicemails with a quick succession of all the things I hate before going to my group meeting (sorry Jess). If you are Jess then this is good news for you too.

Today I feel like I have finally freed myself from the bad week monster that was hanging on my back. It has been a combination of things that have improved my demeanor, the most recent being a few hours with a close gal pal yelling out our woes and frustrations, using a few choice four-letter words (not typical for me but oh so freeing), and coming together to grieve over a certain circumstance. Other contributors have been skyping at the library with my Mom, grandparents, and “Aunt” Jean. Or talking to one of my best friends while watching humming birds, again at the library. Or watching Parenthood at the library. Ok, obviously I did a lot to procrastinate from writing my paper at the library yesterday. But hey, in the midst of it I found my sanity!

But one of the best moments of turn around probably came when I was at work this past week. O is almost 2 and soooo awesome. I adore him. And on this particular day I was sitting on the couch as I turned Pandora to the Christian station on the tv/computer. O was sitting on the couch next to me when he came over, clasped my hands together and squeezed them with his two tiny hands. With his adorable 20-month-old genuine nature he looked me in the eyes, cocked his head a little to the side and said, “pray?” I almost lost it. Here I was wallowing in all my stuff when what I needed was a little reminder from the littlest one I know to pray. “Yes,” I said, “Yes, let’s pray.”

It was the prayer of another little one that got me through this week too. One of my sweet kids who I used to babysit in Georgia apparently decided to pray for me on his way to school this week. The retelling of his prayer from his mom produced many tears from me (I am easily prone to emotions) and was such a sweet reminder of why I am where I am and what my purpose is.

So its countdown mode once again. Its less than a week until I go back to the reservation for a visit (eee!!!), just 3 months until graduation in June, and 4 until I go on to my next adventure. Its an exciting time and I can’t wait to see what is in store. And I know that whatever it holds, it will be prayer and companions are what will get me through, the good and the bad.