Situations When It Is Acceptable/Not Acceptable To Write IN ALL CAPS

Everything that I say and write is important. Very important. Smetimes when I am writing and my thoughts are super, extra-important, I write it IN ALL CAPS for extra emphasis. Sure, I know some people read capital letters as “screaming,” i.e. rude. That’s especially true if you’re tweeting or writing an entire email in caps. But used sparingly, all caps work really well to denote enthusiasm, sarcasm, anger … a whole range of emotions that it is very important to express. Here are some noteworthy examples of times I used all-capital letters recently.

Now, you might still be a little confused about when it is appropriate and when it is not appropriate to write in all caps to friends, family, and your entire office. Allow me to explain to you after the jump.

It is totally OK to text your friends in all caps when …

You have gossip about an A-list celebrity to communicate. “OMG JENNIFER ANISTON WAS ON MY FLIGHT.”

You have gossip about a Z-list celebrity to communicate. “I JUST SAW TANNING MOM AT MY TANNING SALON OMG SHE IS OFF THE WAGON.”

It is not OK to text your friends in all caps when …

You have gossip about a B- or C-list celebrity. Sorry, but tertiary characters on “Law & Order: SVU” aren’t worthy of a caps text.

It’s totally okay to email your roommate in all caps when …

You’re giving instructions on something expensive/complicated. “MAKE SURE TO TURN OFF THE A/C BEFORE YOU LEAVE!” “POPSICLES IN THE FREEZER!”

It is not OK to email your roommate in all caps when …

You’re trying to emphasize she is a complete slob. Or that she paid the rent late. Or that she kept you up until 3 a.m. fucking her boyfriend. You will just look like you are screaming at her. You might want to actually scream at her, but this is not the right way to communicate it.

It’s totally OK to email your parents in all caps …

When you’re emphasizing information about which they have proven themselves to be really dense. “MAKE SURE TO USE THE TIVO REMOTE.” “WEST SIDE, NOT EAST SIDE.'”

It is not OK to email your parents in all caps …

In response to an all-caps email which was clearly a case of hitting “caps lock” and not realizing how to fix it. Don’t mock your mommy. That’s mean!

Leolah Brown, sister to Bobby Brown and aunt to Bobbi Kristina was kicked out of her niece’s funeral yesterday after verbally lashing at Pat Houston Bobbi Kristina’s former manager as well as sister-in-law to Bobbi Kristina’s mother Whitney Houston. Phew. That was a mouthful.