I managed to go thirty years without a ticket and now I seem to be supplying all the little speed traps in Oklahoma and Arkansas with donuts and coffee. Much like the popular adopt-a-highway program… Go ahead and put me down to sponsor Atoka and Augusta.

I collect tickets in each state like my mother collects shot glasses.

I need to stay put.

To avoid the constant highway construction between Memphis and Little Rock, I thought I would be OhSoClever and take Highway 64 from Marion to Bald Knob. As if the names themselves don’t imply this, there’s not much between here and there. Earle, Parkin, Wynne, little towns with one stop light surrounded by cotton fields begging to be picked. Towns with old water towers begging to be climbed. Towns with empty roads begging to be drag-raced.

Towns where they grow giant junior high girl basketball players. We Keiser Yellow Jackets have first hand knowledge.

Towns with bored yet overly zealous cops.

When you take the back roads to avoid interstate construction delays and instead spend an extra thirty minutes on the side of a ditch enjoying a speeding ticket delay, the advantage quickly evaporates.

When you have Texas tags, the cop seems extra snarky.

Lady, do you have any recent moving violations?Ummm, maybe…. (probably not the best answer but I was smiling)WHAT? (not smiling)Well, I got a ticket last month in Oklahoma, but the officer said it wouldn’t go on my record.

(I was trying my best to show him I was wearing a Razorback t-shirt… IF you know what I mean.)

Rudely, he never noticed. Too much fire spewing from his evil eyeballs.

Turns out the good sooners in Oklahoma didn’t report my ticket, which is probably why I’m not in the Augusta, Arkansas jailhouse trying to make bail. I quickly did the mental math and realized maybe I should slow down.

Later, on the other side of Texarkana, I came upon a fatal car accident with Care Flight, bodies strewn about the road, and an SUV in a tree. Perhaps my ticket was a good thing.

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Comments

You have to watch those speed traps in Arkansas, espically if you have Texas tags. Your blog takes me back to my year of probation. I DID NOT SPEED ALL YEAR!!! When you face a judge that says: “You do know if you break the law in any way, you are facing a jail sentence?”, you do not speed. My answer was: “Yes ma’am.” I DID NOT SPEED ALL YEAR. Great read. BaRbArA

Likewise, officers in small bergs in south Central AR are bad (good?) about doing their duty,too, especially around Donaldson and Friendship on old Highway 67. While I lived in Arkadelphia and traveled to Saline County, I learned. Oh, I learned. Fun post, but probably not fun during the incident. loveP

Oh my goodness! You should ask the ‘Back Roads Queen” (i.e. ME) about which routes to take. At least the Marked Tree to Harrisburg to Waldenburg to Newport to Bald Knob to Searcy to Beebe to Cabot to Jacksonville to NLR/LR (sigh…out of breath) route has nice scenery and lots of cotton fields – and rarely, if ever, have I seen a cop on this route. (It’s the way you brought me home that time) Or you can cut through at Waldenburg to Brinkley, but then, you have to get on the Memphis/LR interstate which has to be the worst stretch of interstate in America, imho. Did you go to OK yet to court for that ‘other’ ticket? Perhaps, as you said – the more recent ticket was a blessing in disguise as otherwise, you might have been involved in the fatality, so Praise God for the ticket! Talya’s Cousin, Cindy ‘backroad annie’ “Lu” 🙂

Oh no! I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but laugh from the way you described this deja vous speeding ticket account.=) And I agree, those Texas tags aren’t helping you a bit in Arkansas or Oklahoma.=) Anyhow, I once heard a story about a guy speeding down the interstate through Alabama in his Corvette about 3 a.m. He was doing well over a 100 m.p.h., and as he rounded a curve, he saw blue lights suddenly appear along the side of the road. He thought about trying to escape, and thus, avoid the enormous ticket he knew he would get, but his better sense kicked in and so he pulled over to the side of the road. The state trooper car eased up behind the Corvette, and the state trooper patrolman slowly got out of his car and walked up to the Corvette’s driver’s side window. The state trooper, looked down at the driver, smiled a big grin, and said, “Boy, I’ve been waiting on you, ALL NIGHT LOOONG!!!…The driver of the Corvette quickly replied, “Well, I got here as fast as I could.” The state trooper couldn’t help but bust out laughing, and let the driver go…haha…So, I don’t know if this story is true or not, but I’m thinking it might be a good line if the circumstances allow….Also, I tend to think of the speed limit signs as speed limit suggestions, myself, so let’s make a deal…if you agree to drive slower, I’ll agree to consider doing the same!…haha

Talya Tate Boerner

Hi! I'm Talya. Thanks for visiting Grace Grits and Gardening where I share stories of food, farm, family and fun. After thirty years in Texas, I recently returned to my home state of Arkansas. I live and blog in Fayetteville, try to do something creative every day, and believe most any dish can be enhanced with a side of collards. My debut novel, The Accidental Salvation of Gracie Lee, is available via Amazon, Barnes & Noble and through local Indie bookstores.