These Noise Reducing Drapes feature triple weave yarn which blocks out 99% of the light, and up to 40% of the noise, that would otherwise enter in through your windows. They also serve as thermo sensitive coverings keeping the room cooler in hot climes. This means it’s perfect for sociopathic would-be cave dwellers who feel a need to keep the world at bay. You listening, geek? $69.95.

For real 100% sound-proofing though, I’m going to throw my hopes behind the new ‘non-linear materials’ technology the boffins are working on now, which will apparently be able to block outgoing or ingoing sound entirely, based on some very heavy science. Wooo…Star Trek tech approacheth.

Tested by an independent sound laboratory, the drapes are made from a tightly bound triple weave of polyester yarn that absorbs sound waves, blocking noise from a lawnmower or traffic before it enters a room. The patented weave blocks 99% of light to create pitch black sleeping conditions, and its natural insulative properties help maintain the indoor climate by preventing cold drafts or radiant solar heat from entering the home.