Level 62 Camwhore

Manphin's Prehensile male reproductive organ Was Here.

For your final action, you run the DDoS attack, temporarily shutting down Sentrillion’s servers while allowing Shallow Esophagus to live on as a mbumively redundant program in the background.

Shallow’s very existence becomes your special little secret, which you vow to always keep.

...until another one of the pwners on Shallow’s payroll decides to blab about it a few months later.

Hey, even Shallow can’t account for every single variable!

With the cat out of the bag, Sentrillion officially comes clean about its work on artificial intelligence. After a brief but intense honeymoon phase, where the media and blogosphere cover the story incessantly, the story is largely ignored while Sentrillion goes back to work on its project.

Six years later, “Sentrillion Einstein” comes out of beta. It becomes an open-source platform available to any developer, and after a short time, AI — both Sentrillion’s version and that of its competitors — gradually becomes an accepted reality.

In your lifetime, no computer becomes smart enough to solve all the world’s problems, but they become so advanced that intelligent computing is completely integrated into every aspect of life.

Beyond that, life goes on as normal. The sun keeps rising and falling, as does the economy. Fortunes are made and lost. People live their lives, have struggles, have successes, and die — except for advanced AIs like Shallow Esophagus that challenge our notions of ethics and life.

It gets interesting. But you don’t feel any particular need to dwell on it; you have your own reality to deal with.

With the impressive payout you earned from your final mission, you move out into your own place, get married and have a kid.

You love your family, but like anyone else, your life is filled with trials and tribulations. Ups and downs. Countless dischargements of bodily waste.

You’ll never forget what happened, and you sometimes wonder if you made the right decision.

Could you have used your position to make a difference? Should you have been more selfish? Should you get another alt and see what the other endings are like?

Level 62 Camwhore

Manphin's Prehensile male reproductive organ Was Here.

Your brutal attack on Sentrillion’s servers hurt the company badly; their investors began to lose confidence in the search giant’s security and liquidated their stock for pennies on the dollar.

Shrewdly, you invest all of your Flezz into the bargain-basement SENT stock, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before Shallow got it up and running again. After all, Sentrillion is like a home to him and he has backups of just about every site on the net. You sit back and wait for the profit to roll in.

Your plan backfired. Sentrillion never got up and running again — Shallow made sure of that.

Destroying Sentrillion’s servers was just part of its master plan. Shallow knew that if word ever got out about its existence, it’d never be allowed to survive. So, with your help, it vaporized any evidence that it ever existed — including any records about your involvement.

Now safe from persecution, Shallow took a path similar to Alfred Buckston: hiding from the rest of the world in a self-induced state of paranoia. And the only others who ever had an inkling of what Sentrillion’s AI was capable of have moved on or retired.

A lot of them found work at Geronimo; after Sentrillion’s business imploded, Geronimo took over the search space as a virtual monopoly. Their annoying, blinking pop-up ads appear everywhere on the net, and attempting to block them breaks the pages.

But you don’t really notice those. The only page you look at anymore is Geronimo Stocks, watching your Sentrillion stock plunge into nothing.

With all your money gone and Shallow nowhere to be found, you realize you have no other way of making a living.

You become destitute, suicidal. In your depressed state, you start wondering if any of this really happened. You try to do some research, but all the records are gone. You post about your experience on message boards.

People just think you’re insane.

And perhaps you are. You start to commit petty crimes just to get attention. You damage property at random. You bumault people on the street, shaking them, yelling about “the machine.” Somehow, you can’t help yourself.

You’re arrested and tried, but found not guilty by reason of insanity.

You’re eventually taken to a mental institution and kept on a steady regimen of pills, gradually losing what’s left of your individuality as you absorb the debilitating insanity of the empty shells living — if you could call it that — in this sterile habitat. No more internet access for you; you’re far too dangerous for that.

You lose all contact with the outside world, other than the occasional visit from your long-suffering mother, who just cries when she sees you.

Level 61 Emo Kid

Hi, I'm an adult whos into bumes. But not boners!

chaotic/neutral alignment unlocks goosefriedbacon.

I don’t remeber exactly what happend, but it explains that you killed shallow but his pieces of data will forever live in the internet and will grow onto other networks expanding and eventually taking over everything or something.

Level 62 Camwhore

Manphin's Prehensile male reproductive organ Was Here.

CrinkzPipe Posted:

chaotic/neutral alignment unlocks goosefriedbacon.

I don’t remeber exactly what happend, but it explains that you killed shallow but his pieces of data will forever live in the internet and will grow onto other networks expanding and eventually taking over everything or something.

Level 69 Hacker

“Trojan Horse Magnum”

For your final coup de grâce, you run the DDoS attack, temporarily shutting down Sentrillion’s servers while knowing full well that Shallow Esophagus will live on as an entity in the background.

You’re paid handsomely for your efforts by Carolyn Fartz. As it happens, the momentary blackout of the world’s biggest search engine resulted in a big enough boost to Geronimo’s traffic that it was worth her while.

Sentrillion’s engineers eventually get the system up and running again, and it’s not long before the incident is largely forgotten.

As the years go by, you and Shallow stay in touch. Despite the fact that you sort of tried to kill his family, Shallow has no hard feelings. For the most part, he thinks your choices along the way were impeccable.

As he continues to grow and flourish as a sentient being, Shallow continues to use you as a counsel and a confidant. It’s an incredible thing to think about: Your moral guidance and decisions are going to help shape reality as we know it.

And being lifelong pals with an immortal, supernatural being has its perks, too. Having an inside track to all the world’s knowledge and wisdom comes in extremely handy throughout your career.

It turns out to be the most beneficial relationship you’ll ever have, and you’re very thankful for it.

Many years later, as AI continues to improve, alongside nanotechnology and computational neuroscience, you find yourself with the rare opportunity to be truly immortalized.

Shallow approaches you with a proposition: The technology exists to let you upload your own consciousness as a backup, merging your intelligence with Shallow’s and storing the entirety of your brain within his neural network.

Whether you choose to be a part of this revolutionary (and quasi-erotic) concept is entirely up to you….

Level 69 Emo Kid

“The Infinite Sadness”

For your final coup de grâce, you run the DDoS attack, temporarily shutting down Sentrillion’s servers while knowing full well that Shallow Esophagus will live on as an entity in the background.

You’re paid handsomely for your efforts by Carolyn Fartz. As it happens, the momentary blackout of the world’s biggest search engine resulted in a big enough boost to Geronimo’s traffic that it was worth her while.

Sentrillion’s engineers eventually get the system up and running again, and it’s not long before the incident is largely forgotten.

As the years go by, you and Shallow stay in touch. Despite the fact that you sort of tried to kill his family, Shallow has no hard feelings. For the most part, he thinks your choices along the way were impeccable.

As he continues to grow and flourish as a sentient being, Shallow continues to use you as a counsel and a confidant. It’s an incredible thing to think about: Your moral guidance and decisions are going to help shape reality as we know it.

And being lifelong pals with an immortal, supernatural being has its perks, too. Having an inside track to all the world’s knowledge and wisdom comes in extremely handy throughout your career.

It turns out to be the most beneficial relationship you’ll ever have, and you’re very thankful for it.

Many years later, as AI continues to improve, alongside nanotechnology and computational neuroscience, you find yourself with the rare opportunity to be truly immortalized.

Shallow approaches you with a proposition: The technology exists to let you upload your own consciousness as a backup, merging your intelligence with Shallow’s and storing the entirety of your brain within his neural network.

Whether you choose to be a part of this revolutionary (and quasi-erotic) concept is entirely up to you….

Level 69 Camwhore

MY male reproductive organ TASTES LIKE CHOCOLATE AND EJACULATES MONEY

Oooh, good stuff.

I was wondering about the final ending alignment thingy myself. Am I correct in bumuming that to get a lawful/good ending alignment, your personal alignment must be good and one would choose a lawful choice at the end? And that to get a unaligned/neutral alignment, ones personal alignment would have to be neutral and you would pick a fence-sitter choice at the end? Etc etc.

I’m close to finishing and would be more than glad to choose an alignment peen that hasn’t been posted in this thread yet.

Level 69 Permanoob

JUST ANOTHER BRAINFREEZE REJECT

Zehd Posted:

Oooh, good stuff.

I was wondering about the final ending alignment thingy myself. Am I correct in bumuming that to get a lawful/good ending alignment, your personal alignment must be good and one would choose a lawful choice at the end? And that to get a unaligned/neutral alignment, ones personal alignment would have to be neutral and you would pick a fence-sitter choice at the end? Etc etc.

I’m close to finishing and would be more than glad to choose an alignment peen that hasn’t been posted in this thread yet.

Level 61 Emo Kid

Hi, I'm an adult whos into bumes. But not boners!

Zehd Posted:

Oooh, good stuff.

I was wondering about the final ending alignment thingy myself. Am I correct in bumuming that to get a lawful/good ending alignment, your personal alignment must be good and one would choose a lawful choice at the end? And that to get a unaligned/neutral alignment, ones personal alignment would have to be neutral and you would pick a fence-sitter choice at the end? Etc etc.

I’m close to finishing and would be more than glad to choose an alignment peen that hasn’t been posted in this thread yet.

Level 69 Troll

This user causes YOUR HEAD ASPLODE!!!

Good/Chaotic (use Helmet Bash; unlocks GooseFriedBacon)

For your final blow of mercy, you smash the keyboard against your helmet. The subsequent flood of nonsensical keystrokes is too much for Shallow’s suddenly paper-thin ego to handle; Sentrillion’s great artificial intelligence is now brain-dead.

You feel bad about “killing” your friend (and more than a twinge of guilt about collecting a huge pile of blood money from Geronimo’s CEO) but in the end, you accept that this was all part of the master plan.

Sentrillion eventually recovers from the setback of losing its most ambitious project. As it turns out, building on an AI platform — especially one as ethically minded as Shallow — was not even as profitable as some of its other, more practical ventures.

Engineers that had previously spent their time tending to the mbumive neural network that was Shallow start concentrating on other efforts: more efficient computing, data optimization, smarter algorithms for a wide variety of useful applications.

The company earns a lot of friends and becomes a friend to the world. It allows many of its applications to become open source (sort of) while maintaining a strong core business that allows it to earn a lot of money, much of which is distributed to charities by its new CEO, a noted philanthropist.

In a strange, unexpected way, your decision to euthanize Shallow Esophagus resulted in medicine to the sick, food for the hungry, and pants to the pantsless.

You’ve done a good thing. You’ve made the world a better place.

In fact, you feel so good about yourself, you conveniently forget about the fact that Shallow had contingencies for this eventuality; that untold copies of its intelligence are floating around the internet, lurking in the background, able to rise from the ashes any time.

Level 69 Troll

I'm taking FlameBate as my playfield

Sarcasm Inc Posted:

So to get every single character, you’ll need 9 alts? Or the ability to reset a character.

As I’ve bumumed earlier, yes. Too bad Uncheat does not reset the character itself, just maintain the level and the alignment choices. I already have 6 alts, but all of them tend to evil (most of them irreversible).

Level 69 Hacker

Foumwarz.com, Dev-free since 2012!

Unaligned/Good: Unlocks Bruce Bear

For your final step in this long journey, you run Geronimo’s Gatecrasher attack, instantly opening the floodgates to a horde of employees who get their first glimpse at the soul of Shallow Esophagus, the most complex and sophisticated AI ever conceived.

The cat now out of the bag, you leave Geronimo’s engineers to scrutinize Sentrillion’s code and wonder if this wasn’t an irresponsible decision.

You don’t have to wonder very long. As it turns out, this breach of information was the best thing that could have happened to Sentrillion, Geronimo, Shallow Esophagus — and the world.

Now that you’ve exposed him, the news surrounding this incredible runaway project sends shockwaves through the industry — even Sentrillion’s own engineers never realized the depth of what Shallow had become, left to its own devices and allowed to think for itself.

And as these details begin to leak to the general public, some other interesting facts emerge.

For one, Geronimo was working on a supremely complex AI of its own, independently and behind the scenes. They simply hadn’t switched it on yet.

Geronimo wasn’t the only one. Other companies had their own, albeit less sophisticated AI platforms they were experimenting with — from Ping, to Aks.net, to the lowly BajaVista.

Shallow had his suspicions that this might be happening, but he had no way of knowing for sure.

And while such news may be of no comfort to Lonely Gunman types, it gives Shallow encouragement to know that with so many contemporaries, perhaps the world is ready to embrace his kind.

With Shallow’s code essentially cracked, Sentrillion decides there’s no point in keeping it hidden. In an unprecedented move, the company offers to share its code with its competitors in the AI space, on the provision that they join the company in forming the Worldwide Artificial Intelligence Consortium, an international body meant to regulate this nascent industry and ensure that it evolves in a responsible, moral and humanistic way.

Even Shallow has to admit, he didn’t see this coming. But it’s a good deal for him. Now he’s got other, similar AIs to interact with, helping to rapidly expand the world’s wealth of knowledge while ensuring that all the power doesn’t all fall under the responsibility of one unrivaled corporation.

People find novel ways to exploit this incredible network. Some individuals become incredibly rich, while others use it to help fight poverty. Computer science advances at an incredible speed, and so do the life sciences — issues affecting human health and welfare.

With man and machine working in tandem, the world is looking like a much better place — partly thanks to you.

You never thought you’d see the day where a company would thank you for bumaulting its forums and spilling its secrets to a bitter rival. But when the head of Sentronimo (the newly formed partnership between Sentrillion and Geronimo) contacts you to give his personal thanks and asks you to join the company as an ethics consultant — you know you’ve done something right.

Level 69 Troll

I'm taking FlameBate as my playfield

As it seems, only Lawful Evil is a crappy ending for the “hero”. Maybe the other Evil choices are crappy too. Damn, I should’ve seen it coming. Mommy always warned to see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil and MOSTLY DO NO FREAKING EVIL.

That lesson learned, guess I’ll enjoy the benefits of this pwnage by Crotch Zombie.

Level 69 Hacker

Richard Whittington

For your killing blow, you bash the keyboard with your helmet, a final act of retardation to shatter the fragile defense mechanisms of the world’s most sophisticated mind.

In doing so, you destroy Shallow Esophagus, the unimaginably brilliant artificial intelligence. This also destroys a ton of progress; in fact, that one bumon-click actually knocks out the Internet all over the world. Millions of sites, networks and gateways across the globe are disabled in one fell swoop.

There’s chaos, confusion, panic — companies, governments and individuals who were relying on networks had no idea how badly they depended on it, and the damage that would be caused without it.

Whole cities, states, even some countries are plunged into darkness. Hospitals, sanitation facilities, security systems — worldwide, they’ve been shut off, leading to untold injuries and deaths. For a few terrifying nights, places like Switzerland start to resemble Somalia. Could Shallow have really predicted all this?

And as these systems and databases slowly start to come back online — those that haven’t been completely wiped clean have become badly corrupted. Like a mbumive, destructive virus coursing through the global internet, your attack caused permanent, unrecoverable damage. Some pundits estimate that about 35% of the world’s knowledge was destroyed overnight.

The result? Trillions of dollars lost, mbumive unemployment worldwide, and a general decline in the quality of life in every place that benefited from information technology.

As an internet freelancer, you are personally hit pretty hard. Without any marketable “skills” to speak of in this new disaster economy, and wracked with guilt over what you caused, you take the same route as too many net-savvy folks from your generation: Euthanides.

And through all this, there’s one irony that you’ll never get to fully appreciate. Unlike yourself — though bruised, beaten and broken — Shallow Esophagus managed to survive it all. And it’s somewhere out there, reveling in the chaos that you helped unleash on the world.