Weddings, after all, are traditionally the bride's day to shine. The man just sort of shows up solo and leaves with a wife.

Or at least that's how things used to be. As the cultural tides have changed - couples today are marrying later, paying for their own weddings and in many cases, cohabitating before the big "I do" - many men have found themselves in the trenches of wedding planning.

Unfortunately for them, the wedding marketplace seems a bit behind the times.

Men aren't exactly catered to in the wedding industry, and, perhaps because of that, nuptials can be somewhat of a mystery for many grooms.

Jennifer Lata Rung hopes to change all of that. Together with her husband, Mark, Rung penned "The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Being a Groom," a comprehensive wedding guide for men working their way up to the altar.

As Rung said, times have changed.

That translates into couples having more say over the ceremony and reception.

With a greater role in the planning of the ceremony and reception, Rung said many grooms are beginning to find their wedding is less the bride's day to live out a dream than it is an event for both people.

"I think many men realize this is a fun, awesome event - it's the biggest party they'll ever plan," Rung said. "It's not just about the (bride's) white dress and the flowers. It's about the band and having their friends and family around and having a great time. I think they've caught on to the fact there are things for them as well during the wedding. It's not just about (the bride) being a princess for a day."

But with that discovery comes a degree of responsibility.

Whereas in the past it was the bride's family that planned (and paid) for the wedding, grooms now are expected to chip in, if not for the cocktail hour then in planning out the big day.

Rung, who has written books on nearly every aspect of weddings, said many men feel lost in the process.

To help grooms navigate the planning process and the ceremony itself, she offered these tips:

 Realize your role

Tradition states a man is a groom as soon as he becomes engaged - not just on the date of his nuptials.

"That's the traditional use of the word, in the sense that his life basically is in the process of changing and evolving from the time he gets engaged," Rung said. "It's a big change in his life - obviously, he doesn't live this completely independent life anymore. He has to consider someone else and the decisions that he makes and the things that he does."

 Act interested

No one's asking you to buy a subscription to "Blushing Bride Weekly," but at least seeming interested in the wedding plans may help diffuse a fiery case of bridal rage.

"A woman may expect her groom to know everything about weddings and to be as excited as (she is) about planning, and some are not - it's just a very foreign concept," Rung said. "A mistake that the groom may make is maybe not being as involved as she would like him to be. I see that a lot - women getting upset, thinking (disinterest) means, 'Oh they're not excited to be marrying me.' In reality, they just don't know what to do."

 Make plans for before the altar

Those hours before couples meet at the altar can be tortuous for many men - and it isn't always because of nerves.

Whereas the bride typically is immersed in a day-long, pre-wedding beauty ritual with her bridesmaids, the men usually have little to do.

"The bride, from the minute she wakes up ... she's with all her bridesmaids and they're busy all day getting dressed, getting ready, doing the whole routine," Rung said. "Whereas a man wakes up, he takes an hour tops to get ready, so he has his whole day laid out in front of him, one of the most stressful, tension-ridden days in his life. And he hasn't planned anything or he has nothing to do."

To help while the hours away, grooms can plan a mid-morning golf game, organize a professional haircut and shave for the groomsmen or at least catch a movie with an old friend. Just be sure to be on time to the church or ceremony site.

 Enjoy yourself at your wedding

It's your wedding, too. On your wedding day, be sure to eat a plate of food, spend time with your guests and take a few spins on the dance floor. Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of life and family. Besides, you're paying for it!

As Rung writes in her book, "You and your families have put a lot of time, effort and money into the celebration of this union. Make the most of it and enjoy yourself."