They live on some charity, but that's what happens when you have to raise your own support for missionary work. I dont blame you for not wanting to live under the stress of heavydebt, but what I KNOW is true is that when you have less, you want for less, and can do with less. My friends may not have lived in the most attractive house or bought the newest fashions, but they have never been for want and they are the happiest people I know. There's the great quote from Matthew:

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

When you worry about less, you have less to worry about. As experienced in many peoples' lives, God comes through when the situation looks most dire. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. You wish to find someone with whom you can spend a Christian life. Don't worry about future money! You already have the finding to worry about.

I told you how last week he called me when I wasn't there and e-mailed me several times about getting together. We tried last week but our schedules didn't work out. So we agreed we'd get together tomorrow night...

Here it is wednesday and I haven't heard from him since his mystery phone call on friday afternoon. And we never did agree where we were going to meet. I e-mailed him twice this week but he didn't respond.

Thanks so much for the Christian response.ÃƒÆ’Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€š It never fails...there's always someone around to kick you when you're down.ÃƒÆ’Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€š

Men as well as women can prove to be irresponsible at times especially developing relationships. Some people just dont know how to confront thier partner when it comes to their inner feelings. Some choose to be blunt and others just want to fade away. Its human nature I guess, but it is a rare and wonderful thing to find the right person. I know first hand after 45 years of marriage.

The problem with your situation isn't that there is something wrong with men. The issue is that there is something wrong with many men on dating websites. For some men who seek being noticed by women, it's easy to have an online profile, get a girl to "like" him, drop her, and then move on to the next girl who can make him feel good about himself. And the reason he does that is likely because he hasn't developed the right kind of social skills to have a properly functioning relationship in real life. Thus that dysfunction carries over into how he conducts himself online.

There are many girls like that as well.

I promise you that there are Orthodox men who want to marry an Orthodox woman. I hear many Orthodox women say that they can't find any Orthodox men, and I hear many Orthodox men say that they can't find any Orthodox women. If you care to hear advice from me, and if you would prefer an Orthodox man over any other, then my advice would be to visit a monastery, talk to the abbott, and tell him that you want to marry and that you're looking for an Orthodox man with similar values. You might be surprised how many people do that, and he'll probably know at least several Orthodox men who are looking for an Orthodox woman.

Men are really pretty simple. We operate on the three F's. Feed us, Flatter us, and (you figure this one out for yourselves) us, and you pretty much have a friend for life. BTW - I learned this from a woman writing to other women too stupid to figure this out. You know, the ones that after a few years of marriage no longer cook anything that does not go into the microwave, list every fault of the man daily, and have the furnace kick on when their legs spread, yet wonder why hubby is never home.

Yes, I already know that I am going to be in trouble for this post.

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I would be happy to agree with you, but then both of us would be wrong.

Men are really pretty simple. We operate on the three F's. Feed us, Flatter us, and (you figure this one out for yourselves) us, and you pretty much have a friend for life. BTW - I learned this from a woman writing to other women too stupid to figure this out. You know, the ones that after a few years of marriage no longer cook anything that does not go into the microwave, list every fault of the man daily, and have the furnace kick on when their legs spread, yet wonder why hubby is never home.

Men are really pretty simple. We operate on the three F's. Feed us, Flatter us, and (you figure this one out for yourselves) us, and you pretty much have a friend for life. BTW - I learned this from a woman writing to other women too stupid to figure this out. You know, the ones that after a few years of marriage no longer cook anything that does not go into the microwave, list every fault of the man daily, and have the furnace kick on when their legs spread, yet wonder why hubby is never home.

QFT.

Sorry, but this is no QFT nor QED, but it is affirming the consequent.

Men are really pretty simple. We operate on the three F's. Feed us, Flatter us, and (you figure this one out for yourselves) us, and you pretty much have a friend for life. BTW - I learned this from a woman writing to other women too stupid to figure this out. You know, the ones that after a few years of marriage no longer cook anything that does not go into the microwave, list every fault of the man daily, and have the furnace kick on when their legs spread, yet wonder why hubby is never home.

Men can not read your mind. If you don't tell them why you are upset, they won't know. The "silent treatment" hurts you, and they are just oblivious. Silence is interpreted by most men as a good thing. And watching movies like "An Officer and a Gentleman" will just warp your idea of what love is. Pay attention to what you consume in terms of romance. If your idea of romance is Twilight, you are doing it wrong. If you can see that Band of Brothers is a story about real brotherly love amongst men, you are getting closer to what is right.

Although this tidbit works with relationships in general. This idea that if someone "really loves" you, they instinctively know why you are upset is just a relationship killer.

Also, while you are at it, can someone please explain thread resurrection to me? I have having a difficult time understanding its purpose.

It's a balancing act. Do you resurrect old threads, thereby preventing new threads from clogging up the board? Also, sometimes people want to respond to something specific that was said in a thread, in which case opening a new thread seems silly. However, if you resurrect then you risk annoying people, talking to people who are no longer active, and inviting people to throw their opinions into a discussion that already has a lot of baggage (as opposed to starting clean). I take the mods/admins as being fine with resurrecting threads based on two things: first (and most obvious) they let it happen and don't warn people not to do it; second, they have mega-threads (e.g. evolution) where they merge new threads into, thereby resurrecting their own chosen threads repeatedly.

What planet are you guys from? Seriously, after years of dating I don't even begin to have a clue into how you guys work.

I was dating this guy I met on eharmony. Things were going well. We got along great. Come home to an e-mail today informing that he doesn't think we're compatible. I'm like, what? So I told him it was tacky to do this by e-mail.

So he gives me a call and tells me that our "core values" are different because I said something about worrying that I didn't have enough patience.

That's what happens when you plug "Christian values" into one's profile on a dating site.

You get all sorts of people who also plugged "Christian values" into their profiles on a dating site.

« Last Edit: January 05, 2013, 01:56:00 AM by NicholasMyra »

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Quote from: Fr. Thomas Hopko, dystopian parable of the prodigal son

...you can imagine so-called healing services of the pigpen. The books that could be written, you know: Life in the Pigpen. How to Cope in the Pigpen. Being Happy in the Pigpen. Surviving in the Pigpen. And then there could be counselling, for people who feel unhappy in the pigpen, to try to get them to come to terms with the pigpen, and to accept the pigpen.

Well I can't speak for all males, but as for myself, I think the problem is that you are moving too fast and expecting too much so quickly. So the guy forgot to call or broke up via email. Big deal. Are you one of those girls who mentions marriage on the second date? If so, that's the problem. Take it slow. Sometimes we don't want commitment and seriousness and all that other scary stuff, we just want to have fun. As for me, I'm not too picky about girls--that's mostly because I'm not in a position to be picky seeing that I'm far from God's gift to women. All I care about in a woman is that she's Orthodox--or at least tolerant and accepting of my Orthodoxy and won't try to convert me away--decently attractive, smart (but not smarter than me!!) and can tolerate my excessive consumption of coffee. EDIT: and maybe willing to do a couple of other things, but I can't mention those here...

Men can not read your mind. If you don't tell them why you are upset, they won't know. The "silent treatment" hurts you, and they are just oblivious. Silence is interpreted by most men as a good thing. And watching movies like "An Officer and a Gentleman" will just warp your idea of what love is. Pay attention to what you consume in terms of romance. If your idea of romance is Twilight, you are doing it wrong. If you can see that Band of Brothers is a story about real brotherly love amongst men, you are getting closer to what is right.

Although this tidbit works with relationships in general. This idea that if someone "really loves" you, they instinctively know why you are upset is just a relationship killer.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU!

If a certain woman had took this to heart (as well as not being an atheist) I would probably be married right now.

I especially like the Twilight vs BoB bit. I think 'romantic' movies give too many women the wrong ideas and pretty much ruin them as marriage candidates.

If you will, you can become all flame.Extra caritatem nulla salus.In order to become whole, take the "I" out of "holiness". सर्वभूतहितἌνω σχῶμεν τὰς καρδίας"Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is." -- Mohandas GandhiY dduw bo'r diolch.

If you can see that Band of Brothers is a story about real brotherly love amongst men, you are getting closer to what is right.

So a man wants a woman to be like a brother?

What the hell?

Good, I'm glad I'm wrong.

No, a woman needs to be capable of seeing that love for men is different. Those guys loved each other. Not romantically, but they did have love for each other. The love in that story is one that is expressed by protecting each other. Men need other men. Male friendship is essential. Women can not get bent out of shape because their husband wants to spend time with the guys. Women also have to understand that love isn't just roses and candlelit dinners. Romance is awesome. But if all you have is romance, you don't really have love. For a marriage to work it can't be just romantic love. Men express love thru taking care of the other person. Men also accept love by being taken care of to some extent. No, that doesn't mean women have to be the slave. But it does mean that the little things matter a great deal. It meant the world to my husband when we were first married that I got up with him to talk, and help make his breakfast before he left for work in the mornings. It meant the world to my husband that I tried to have dinner ready when he was home. It meant the world to me that my husband did all the clean-up after dinner. These things were done without discussion as a way to express our love for each other. And for the guys out there; there is nothing sexier than a man doing the dishes and folding laundry

If we look at the ideas of love expressed in popular culture, no man is going to live up to it. No man should live up to it. The relationships portrayed in movies are dysfunctional. It we followed the characters in Jerry Maguire, they would be divorced within a decade. The characters in "Gone with the Wind" aren't any better. Just because it makes a good story with dramatic tension, it doesn't mean that is how life or romance should be. And don't even get me started on 50 Shades...

Men need other men? I never really feel like that. More than often, I actually feel a sense of rivalry with other males and usually somehow develop problems with them for some reason. Either way, everything she said is true to add to her last comment, nothing is sexier than a woman that cooks and can make a good cup of coffee.

Men absolutely need other men. There is zero question about that. In fact, I would say that before a man should pursue a romantic relationship, he should cultivate some good friendships with other men.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who can watch the watchmen?"No one is paying attention to your post reports"Why do posters that claim to have me blocked keep sending me pms and responding to my posts? That makes no sense.

Men absolutely need other men. There is zero question about that. In fact, I would say that before a man should pursue a romantic relationship, he should cultivate some good friendships with other men.

As a man, I completely disagree with this. Other than my father and sons, I feel no need for other men, nor do I particularly enjoy the company of other men, particularly that of what passes as a "man" in this country. I veiw other males in pretty much the same way as a bear does. I will tolerate their presence when it is to my benefit, but would rather they steer clear of me if I don't need them. The exeption would be those that I have some bond with due to family or blood. At the time that I married my wife, I had really no close relationship with any male outside of my family.

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I would be happy to agree with you, but then both of us would be wrong.