What is it when you can’t see anything different for yourself for the future? They’ve told me that it’s ‘helplessness’, but is it necessarily? It’s not merely ‘hopelessness’ if it’s actually truth, is it? What if what I’m foreseeing for myself is actually fate? An inevitable, uncontrollable fate?

I’m somewhat removed from reality a lot of the time. I live a life in a delusional world in my head and then I project those delusions into the real world. Sometimes it almost feels as though I walk another dimension apart from everyone else. But I know reality well enough – I’ve touched it and visited it at times, enough, to know that where I am and where I need to be; that who I am and who I need to be; that what I do and what I need to do are places that are poles apart – a travel from one to the other that requires efforts so vast and an eternity in time.

Sometimes when I do the calculations in my head, I’m forced to realise that I don’t actually have the time or the energy to make it to where I need to be. As in, I don’t have the years left in my life to become who/what/where I need to be, nor do I have the fuel to get their.

What do I do? Do I go on even while knowing this? I just can’t bear this forever.

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4 Comments on “When I look into the future I can only see the present”

Sounds a little like my last blog post on where I went wrong. I’m struggling to recognize that my future is not at all what I once thought it could he. I’ve made life choices and settled into circumstances that preclude normal living. So the question is, what are you going to make of where you’re at? Scaling down your, ambitions doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It simokycacoeledges

Simply acknowledges the present reality. You’re never short on time to you’re dead, so don’t let age get on the way.. Who cares what others have accomplished by now. They haven’t lived your life. You’re alive and healthy, what more could you ask for? So take a look at your life – do you see the successes? Mevermind the failures, that’s how we learn. Don’t ever tell yourself your life trajectory precludes meaningful accomplishments. Your responses to my blog are meaningful to me. So you already have one meaningful accomplishment, just by being you. Builders on that and see where you think you stand in life after you’ve compiled a list of your accomplishments and successes.