John Holmes MotherfuckerThank god my mother just said "Get ready for school!", and went to make my lunch. I didn't need for her tell me about how it felt good.

"It feels good, doesn't it, Johnny? Believe me, I know all about that, mostly because your father is a simpering nancy boy who only gets hard while watching football, and who hasn't touched me since the Kennedy assasination. I think he had a crush on JFK."

"We'll talk about it some more when you're older."

Rodents of Unusual Size"I'm glad you do it in the privacy of your own room, and not in the hole in the rowboat down by the lake like your special brother"