hey, guess what? my bike is stolen again. i went out for breakfast, and then when i returned home, park my bike, and then wanna go out again, its gone, no longer there. not the 1st time hilang motor, dah tak la rasa terkejut ke takleh menerima hakikat, but the pain, is there.

it hurts. and lurks inside of u, and it seems no way out of it. i am sad.

i had a lot to think about. family, work, and then this. and then theres this and fews of that. i dont know how much longer can i hold before i burst or break.

i havent have enough rest for a very long period of time. and i did not really like to talk about things that have been bothering me besides the holy trinity group. i kept it away from my mom, away from people who i should really talk to bcos they too have their own problem. (usually, they would talk to me if and ask me for advice). even when they tryna cheer me up, it always ends up talking about them or the other way around. me cheering them up.

that is why, i didnt really wanna talk. i prefer to keep it to myself. in the end, it were always, always will be, forever will be you and your bullcrap. like i never really existed. penatlah layan kau. penatlah dengar kau itu kau ini. penatlah dengar ups and down pasal kau. sikit-sikit, kau.

theres this one time, i took my partner out for a dinner somewhere in pj. we dine normally until this waiter comes up and offer my partner things. he went beyond super-ramah to buaya in a blink of an eye. he ask my partner is there anything he can get for her but my partner declined. and after 5 mins, he go back inside and took a bottle of some hipster sparkling water and said "heres bla bla bla, complimentary from the house"

but thats okay. as long as she knows her limits. and if she wants to go (which is she could, anytime she wants) but shes staying, that is good enough for me. one said - if you like her, you should put a ring on her finger.

that is what im gonna do next. put that goddamn ring on her goddamn finger.