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Monday, 26 October 2015

REVIEW - Ugly by Margaret McHeyzer

Title - Ugly

Author - Margaret McHeyzer

Synopsis

If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to see.If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to feel.If I were dead, he'd never raise his hand to me again.If I were dead, his words wouldn't cut as deep as they do.If I were dead, I'd be beautiful and I wouldn't be so...ugly.I'm not dead...but I wish I was.

What I thought

This book, I read it two days ago and I'm still struggling to find the words. This book did something to me. I was an emotional mess. In parts I was so sad I was crying so hard. In parts I was so angry I wanted to launch my kindle across the room, but when it made me happy, it made me really happy!

"Is this how kids feel when they're touched by their parents? Do they smile because they know their moms and dads want to hold them, embrace them, and protect them? Is this the feeling I've been missing out on all these years."

Lily Anderson has had the kind of life no one would want, he father is beyond abusive, everything he does and says is aggressive. He bruises her far worse on the inside than on the outside, and on the outside is pretty bad. Because of the way he's made her think, she's forced herself to become invisible. No one notices her because she's stupid and ugly, and she likes getting by that way. Until she meets Trent, he see's her but he seems to see so much more. He thinks she's smart. He thinks she's beautiful. Him and his parents are the proverbial knights in shining armor, rescuing her from bad dad in spectacular style after one night he finally pushes her further than she can go.Lily finds herself in a loving home, something she hasn't known for a long time, she doesn't know how to take it all in. people caring for her, wanting good things for her, all seems too good to be true. It is.Things are not as good as they seem and they're getting worse, fast, by the time Lily goes off to college everything is beyond her control and another man has complete control of her mind and body. After a short time of putting herself back together after her dad, Trent breaks her again in the most infuriating of ways.

"When Trent woke this morning, he saw the blood and was just so good. He drew me a bath, changed the sheets and took care of me. He loves me so much. He tells me every time. It's my fault these things happen. I just have to try harder."

There is light at the end of the tunnel and this book does end with happiness, but the journey there is heart breaking, soul destroying and very illuminating. I personally have never been a victim of domestic abuse, so for me this book was an education. It opened my eyes and made it all very real. scary real. Seeing her whole life story was disturbing, but watching her try and put herself back together, that was harder. She wasn't a fictional character by this point, she was my friend. I found myself fighting for Lily, angry with Lily, upset by and for Lily and in the end, so damn happy for Lily.

"I once thought he was a true gentleman, someone who saw a woman and knew how to treat her. But now I'm convinced he's something much more. Now I know he's an angel."