Sunday, November 27, 2011

November update

Well, panic has set in and gone out several times since August! We found an apartment, discovered the rent was a little high for us to afford, got behind, almost got evicted, had a last minute reprieve and found out that we qualify for rental assistance, but not til next September. So we'll be moving again, hopefully in January, but I'm waiting to hear from low income housing, so who knows?

Christmas is going to be depressing this year. No money for presents, and we only have dinner because of the Christmas Bureau. They are a local charity that gives out food hampers containing all the fixings for a Christmas dinner, and toys for small kids. My kids aren't small anymore, but I'm sure there will be some disappointment, even if they say it's okay/ Just because they're old enough to understand what's going on, doesn't make it all right. I know enough not to expect anything from their father, and I've never been terribly close to my sisters. At least Liam is still young enough that whatever he gets from Grandma is wonderful, lol! I'm just afraid that it will all change when he gets older and his step-grandparents will be able to give him anything he wants. Oh well, I've got awhile til that happens, if it ever does.

My husband and I haven't really talked about anything, other than how happy he is now that he isn't responsible for any of us. And you can't tell him that he's responsible for his children for the rest of his life, cause he believes that once they're 18, he's done. Me? I still have that huge desolate, grey hole in my heart that's been there since May. People keep telling me that it will get better, but right now, it doesn't feel like it. We just have to get through Christmas and maybe January. Maybe then I'll start to get over the shock