Judith, what a thrilling expose into the road to contentment what with the interesting stops you made along the way and continue to travel with all your wonderful activities. Thank you so much for your gentle inspiration which endures way longer than any 15 minute fame frame!

Oh, well, I grew up with the “so what have you done for me lately” syndrome. Which means I’ll always be thinking about what comes next anyway. But shots of contentment at frequent intervals are good for the soul!

Obviously you didn’t grow up Jewish, in New York, m’dear. Grownups had work ethics. Kids had, what shall I say? school ethics? Achievement ethics? Anyway, just because you did really well on that report card, for example, by the next day another achievement was due. Resting on your laurels was right out.
A variation of the syndrome: What happened to the other two points?
Say you got 98% on a test, sure enough came the question, So, what happened to the other two points?
Tiger mothers weren’t invented by today’s Asian parents!!!!!

Oh that syndrome . . . . which you are right, I didn’t grow up with but would have given anything to have done so. I, an only girl with many brothers, could get all the A’s in the world, but it was C for Celebration in our house when some of the slower boys moved up the ladder from E’s and D’s!

Mr Kuche on the other hand grew up with a very demanding father who always wanted to know about the missing two points. He hated it!

We were both brought up Catholic which came with its own set of work ethics, the feature being sufferance! It was meant to be good for you!

I knew Jewish girls with brothers (I had none) who suffered your same experience. One friend was still bitter in middle age at being automatically denied the college education she would have graced (hey, girls don’t need education!) for the sake of the brother who dis-graced it.
Ah, yes, and whichever way it goes, it’s always meant to be good for you. Which explains the old adage, The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Because the intentions are usually good. (Although not entirely or automatically.)
As for my own parenting? Not my strong suit. Reacting AGAINST things can bring you, oddly enough, into the same not-good places, albeit from another direction.
All of which could lead us to a discussion of forgiveness, much devalued in our world and sorely needed. But that would really open up a discussion!

I like the new pope’s style. The substance is still the same, true, but when he says, Who am I to judge? it really makes a difference.

I do think life is just a lot of side roads and many of them do loop around. As they might say in Thailand, “same, same but different”.
I don’t know your area (Boston and Lowell [worked for Wang back in the day]) but Smith was unfinished business in the best of senses.
Funnily enough I’m writing a story about ‘going back’ right at the moment.
Great article btw.

A straight line isn’t always the best way between points! I love your Thai saying, Same, same but different. Sums it right up.
We’re now a couple of hours west of Boston (and Wellesley) etc. More country.
I remember when Wang was the BIG NEW STUFF. What did you do for them back in the day? Will your story be on your blog? If not, I’d love to see it somehow when it’s finished.
🙂

if it’s any good……..
I was, in a former life a salesman (weren’t called persons back in the day) based in London but regularly travelled there taking customers/prospects on visits.
This was the 80’s and a great time to be at Wang (who did really well by me as indeed I, them :))

(Fair enough…..)
Those were historical times, and a historical place, the MA ancestor of CA’s Silicon Valley, and you were in on it. Wow.
A whole nother life from what I follow on your blog these days, swanning off to Barcelona and hither and yon! 😉

Look at you! I remember meeting you when you first moved to the Berkshires and how impressed I was to have made such a wonderfully talented new friend. Isn’t it wonderful to feel that “at home” feeling! Yes, you’re a good fit with Northampton and it’s lucky to have you!

Well, thank you, my original Sheffield-ite. It was the same for me. I will never be as “at home” in Mother Nature’s world as you are. I was awed and impressed and delighted, and still feel exactly the same about you!

As much as Mr Kuche hated the pressure, he was very forgiving of his father whom he believed did everything with the best intentions. This is the polite version. Interestingly enough when it came to our own children, all boys, Mr Kuche refused to push whereas I was a little more inclined to nudge. As you say, reactions against . . . we can’t seem to help ourselves!

As for the new Pope, I never expected to hear such a sensibility! Would love to know what the Papists in the family think of this renegade.

Love your bright-eyed photo for the article Judith, it has a depth of serene confidence to it!

Seventy-eight years rub off a lot of jaggedy edges. There are losses, don’t get me wrong, but they’re mostly physical. Psychologically, on the whole it’s great!

For eight years (longest traditional job I ever held) I was a campus minister at Fordham at Lincoln Center. (Not “big” Fordham in the Bronx at Rose Hill, they never would have hired the motley likes of me.) Working with Jesuit and other priests at this “mission territory” institution was an amazing experience. I got to give homilies at daily Mass (does it matter whether or not they were formally called that? I don’t think so; they were what they were and everybody knew it), and some of the Jesuits encouraged me to step out and do all kinds of pastoral things, where I was inclined to hold back (that’s what a childhood as an orthodox Jew will do for some women). It’s all been interesting.

I don’t usually suggest this on my blogs, but perhaps if you can rustle up a copy somewhere in the NY Public Library system, you might enjoy reading Convergence, my spiritual memoir. Adventure comes in many guises, that’s my experience, and the book is the story of my biggest adventure.

A great read Judith! How wonderful for you that you were given a second chance to return to a place where you felt you belonged. I feel hopeful of achieving some measure of that contentment someday. And yes, you look absolutely gorgeous 🙂

Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Madhu!
It strikes me that I’m carrying out the promises made in the poem Warning, by Jenny Joseph:When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
It’s a terrific poem, you might want to read it and think about it in preparation for the faraway day when you find yourself traveling in the Land of Old, a very different place from any other.
(And not at all bad, I’m here to tell you. :-))
xoxoxoxo

Almost there Judith! And no, it doesn’t seem too bad at all from where I stand. At least not as bad as I expected, when I assumed fifty was ancient!. Except for time seeming to race by so much faster 🙂

Energy and enthusiasm are youthful traits, Madhu, and you have them in abundance. Energy may begin to flag (and does) but enthusiasm, the looking forward to the new, the unusual, the learning — that can continue. As you say, The urge to wander, whether in person or in mind and spirit!

OTOH, that phenomenon of the swiftness of time, oh my, it does keep accelerating. I don’t know any solution to that. But every so often I just sit down and breathe deeply, or look at something beautiful for a while.
🙂