Those who have travelled with Austin and me down the years will know that the grumpy little feline has pretensions to academic eptitude. He has been assistant to both Schrodinger and Fibonacci. He's advised Sir Isaac Newton. He has even mediated at a mythical meeting between Occam and Gordias!

Now, finally, he has reached what I believe to be the pinnacle of his career. He has proved that Albert Einstein was probably on to something with this E = mc2 malarkey. However, all this stuff about energy, mass and speed of light squared is a load of dogwash! As you can see in the excellent representation above, Prof Austin shows that relatively speaking, strange things do happen when you move very fast. In fact the faster you go the slower time runs (Chariots of Fire anyone?)

However, the other day Prof Austin was able to test HIS hypothesis when he was caught in the canine upsurge of the eleven spitting dogs (that live next door but one, two and three). He, during this unexpected event, managed to mass his particles to prove conclusively that:

F^..^2 + MC⦉⦁⧭⦁⦊ = ⚔⚐☺orAustin squaring up to many massive dogs = the speed of light

And, because of the whole space time continuum thingy he was back on my bed asleep before he’d even woken up. Forget the large hadron collider, we’ve got the small cat on the soft eider. Job done!

Wow ! The old Joke Puppy is in way over his head in this academic discussion, but in my lame attempt to prove that I can run with the "intellectual big dogs", I maintain that, as I learned years ago from Jethro Beaudine when his teacher taught that pi R square, I will always argue that "No, teacher,,,pie are round !

Dear Austin,The enhanced time-matter field seems to be overheating - you have to reverse the singularity before plasma catches the weak fluctuations to reverse. The aligned vortex crystal causes ripples within the special region energy plasma. This is what happens when you get there before you started!KissesNellie

You know, one of my favourite t-shirts is a cat physics joke (my sis is physicist she gave it to me) in the hello kitty style - it's a box with a bow on it that says hello shroddy. Confuses so many people.

Glasses do emphasize the intellectual look! Quite elegant. (style and brains - who could ask for more?)We are in awe. (Oh, and RC Cat thinks maybe your portrait should hang in schools to inspire the little ones.) Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge