Monday, April 30, 2012

Written by poetry stalwart Timothy Train a strange man, doing his best in strange times. Actually he's more than a stalwart of poetry: the man's made out of poetry, quite literally.

Our researchers at Tales Told by an Idiot have recently done a little checking into Timothy's background, uncovering several secret documents (previously thought destroyed) bringing new validity to accusation that Timothy Train is no longer a flesh and blood human, but a ghastly creature composed only of poetics and facial hair.

New evidence handed in at our offices indicate Timothy Train once went by the name Timothy Train, and back in 2006 traveled to Uruguay to have performed a highly illegal, extremely dangerous and unnecessarily complicated series of operations, where most of his original body was replaced by cloned poetry tissue.

The documentation indicates that Senor Train had most of his endocrine and lymphatic systems replaced with stanzas, rhymes and alliterations. Even the vast mass of what appears to be facial hair is now believed to be in fact a series of assonant couplet semaphores. Shocking.

So far Timothy Train (or should we call him Timothy Train) has denied all allegations, replying only that we should by his quirky and hilarious zine Badgers Dozen, and continue reading his Will type For Foodblog.

More on this story as it deteriorates...right now I'm off to drink a glass of testosterone and eat a Care Bear.