Amazing Foreplay 101: How To Master The Pre-Sex Massage

The pre-sex massage is definitely one of the most misused and under-utilized foreplay tactics. It’s rarely used because most people believe traditional foreplay is the best or only way to go and when it IS used it’s typically not done correctly because the massager doesn’t know how to correctly balance the benefits of a real massage with the sexiness of an erotic massage. Let’s be honest, more times the dude will rub her back twice, grip her shoulder twice and cup her bum once and in a flash he’s trying to put it in, which is NOT cool if you want to do the pre-sex massage PROPERLY.

So ladies and gentlemen, here are some steps on how to give a PROPER Pre-Sex Massage. Ladies pay attention, so you can help your man get it right:

STEP 1: GET NAKED

Once you are both in the bedroom it is the man’s JOB to take off ALL the woman’s clothes at a slow and calculated pace. No ripping her clothes off or clawing at that complicated bra-latch. He has to set a warm, serene and sexy atmosphere so aggression does NOT need to be shown now. Once both are naked, a soft-sexy kiss should be applied to her lips, but restraint should be shown to the rest of her body. She’s gonna get it long, hard and deep – but not yet.

STEP 2: BATHE TOGETHER

Hopefully the couples bedroom has an ensuite so he can lead her into the shower. The shower shouldn’t be scalding, but it definitely should be hot with a strong flow. Basically the shower head should be starting the massage for him right now. Her only job is to hold the shower walls and let the hot water flow all over her while he soaps, lathers and simultaneously massages her entire body with a sexy-smelling body wash. Then he should lead her out of the shower and dry her off.

STEP 3: MUSIC

Humans have 5 senses [touch, taste, smell, sight and hearing] and a GREAT massage appeals to every one of them, not just touch. He should know what her favourite mood music is, and this is the time he should put that knowledge to work to find a song that will perfectly capture the mood, like:

[If he plays ANY Lil Wayne or Nicki Minaj at this point he deserves to get pushed in the back down a flight of metal stairs]

STEP 4: INCENSE/SCENTED CANDLES

At this point she should be laying on her stomach with a towel covering her ass and lower back taking in the music, and this is the time he should be burning some incense or scented candles depending on what SHE likes and what scent SHE finds sexy. It should not be so much that it overpowers both of your natural smell, but it should be enough to transform the room from it’s normal everyday odour to something unique and special because y’all are about to really do it different tonight and the scent should take her away mentally.

STEP 5: HEAD TO TOE [HER BACK]

Once he has selected the proper oil for the occasion, it is now officially time to start. The first thing he wants to establish is the firmness of touch her will be massaging her with. Consistency is key and comfortability is tantamount. He should gently massage behind her ears, her neck, shoulders and upper back. Calculated force is important as well as making sure every now and then his lips trace her collar bone and the middle of her back. His firm hands and non-chapped lips should make her quiver as a combination as she has NO CLUE when each will touch her. When he gets to her lower back, he should completely skip over her ass and go right to her upper thighs to tease her a little. He should graze her ass every now and then almost like it was a mistake, to make her want more [since women LOVE ass-massages]. He should massage her calves and her feet, then back to her calves, upper thighs and then FINALLY her ass. He then slowly takes the towel completely off of her and massages her ass similar to palming a basketball with both of his thumbs occasionally slipping between her thighs and slowly running over her nani, which at this point will probably be very wet.

STEP 6: HEAD TO TOE [HER FRONT]

Once you flip her over, most women will be content with the massage and she’ll be ready to smash, but this is where the eroticism comes in, because now she’s about to get intensely pleasured and teased at the same time. The first thing you want to do once she is lying on her back is to feed her A LITTLE of whatever ‘sexy food’ really turns her on. And NO people I don’t mean oxtail or grits, but I mean something like chocolate-covered strawberries or a caramel brownie. Feed it to her slowly while she lays there with her eyes closed – and then get back to massaging her. At this point every thing he does will be making her increasingly wet because she will be able to see EVERYTHING, from his strong hands, to his oiled-down muscles, right to his hard richard. He then should massage her neck, shoulders and leave kisses everywhere he touches, but this time more intentional with a lot more tongue to make her moan and squirm. Although she is NOT ALLOWED to rub or touch his richard yet, he should be taking full advantage of massaging every inch of both breasts. and finishing it off with his tongue circling her nipples. Next he should work his way down to her nani by opening her thighs and spreading her legs apart. He should bend forward and kiss her all over her neck while the head of his richard presses against her clit and almost inside of her – then stop. Lean back and keep her legs spread and massage her feet.

Now at this point, it’s safe to say she may RAPE him because she’s so damned turned on and tired of being teased. If she has any restraint left, this is where the dude starts the actual foreplay, however he wants to do it. Ladies, I hope you take note of this because as much as you may want to forward this blog to dudes you know, it’s important for YOU to know that your man DESERVES a pre-sex massage every once in a while too.

This Is Your Conscience

When Lincoln Anthony Blades is not writing for his controversial and critically acclaimed blog ThisIsYourConscience.com, he can be found contributing articles for Uptown Magazine. Lincoln wrote the hilarious and insightful book "You're Not A Victim, You're A Volunteer: How To Stop Letting Love Kick Your Ass". He is also a public speaker who has sat on panels all over North America and the Caribbean.

Whoa! Calm down there Linc! We didn't say all of that. Why you tying to put us out there like that? we are simply asking for equal distribution of advice and tips, that's all. I'm pretty sure the men already knew what to do, but you've just showed them how to do it better. We know what to do, just seeking tips to do it better.

I studied massage therapy briefly and have used my tactics on some men in the past. I've only had two great massages by two different men and they were rare, but I'm thankful I got them. I think it depends on how much of a giver the person is. I'm a Pisces and we are naturally giving people so pleasing my man is like second nature to me. But I do hear from many girlfriends that their men are too lazy to give them or when they do, they offer a crap job so she won't ask again. I also know lots of men who won't offer or even if I asked for one, they don't do it.

I haven't had it as dramatic as you explained it (with food and all)and it would be great if some men would take this advice and not be so lazy. Putting in effort in the bedroom comes with so many rewards from a deserving female…it would be best to take Linc's advice. If I got a massage like this…You betta believe I'd be doing it up like Destiny's Child in "cater 2 u".

Hahaha, you're a trip! I had an entire lunch conversation after this email! lol.
And to Mr. Blades- you just got a new addition to your fan club. Lol…when i get home I will continue reading some of these blogs.

NEWS FLASH…NEWS FLASH.. NEWS FLASH…. I DID IT!!!!! and he wouldn't even let me finish… i had the candles, the fruit which didn't make it out the fridge but he saw 'em so he knew of my intent, the music the vaseline babyoil gel and the KY Intense… boaw boaw… rub down the back side… skip over the buttocks caressed them legs the calves and the feet… came back up….ever so politely breezed over that ass again…. yeahhhhh, lol…. then after all was said and done, gave the tush a little massage and said flip over… dude turned around and it WAS ON!!!!! Thanks so much!!!!

"Next he should work his way down to her nani by opening her thighs and spreading her legs apart. He should bend forward and kiss her all over her neck while the head of his richard presses against her clit and almost inside of her – then stop. Lean back and keep her legs spread and massage her feet."