And here's the twist: before Ann's gender change they were not able to marry because they were a gay couple. Yet after Ann changed her gender legally, it was easy.

"It's illogical. It just shows how mixed up these laws are," Richard says.

The law in most states, including Victoria and NSW, requires that people who apply to change their gender must be unmarried.

This means transgender people who are originally in a heterosexual marriage face having to divorce their spouse before they can be granted legal recognition of their new gender.

It is known as "forced trans divorce", and a conundrum that Australian Greens Senator Janet Rice is intimately familiar with. Her husband Peter underwent a gender transition 11 years ago and is now Penny Whetton, a respected climatologist.

While Penny has been able to get a female passport, she has not tried to get a female birth certificate because she would be forced to end her (happy) 28-year marriage.

"This show just ridiculous and discriminatory our marriage laws are," Senator Rice says. "We're still the same couple, she's still the same person. If two people love each other they should be able to get married and stay married."

Anna Brown, a human rights lawyer assisting transgender groups, says in the absence of a federal marriage law that allows people to marry regardless of sex or gender, Victoria should amend its laws to allow people who are married to change their gender.

Ann's transition has forced Richard to question his gender and identity, a process that has been painful at times.

"The important thing is I still love Ann and that hasn't changed - she hasn't changed - just because she's a woman."

The Age contacted Victoria's new Minister for Equality, Martin Foley, but did not get a response.