US offers mediation in IND-PAK talks; India asks US to solve Cauvery issue first to prove capability

Washington DC: The United States of America has offered mediation between India and Pakistan, to bring about peace in the subcontinent. India has declined the offer, citing the reason that any US mediation has historically brought more tension in the area, it is learnt by Faking News.

Nikki Haley wondering how to resolve Cauvery dispute

“We have declined the offer politely. The Trump administration has been insistent. So, finally we have given them a POC (Proof of concept) project to prove their mediation skills. If USA can solve the decades old dispute between Tamil Nadu and Karnataka on Cauvery water, we will consider their proposal on India-Pakistan mediation. Both the state governments, the central government, and the honorable Supreme Court could not solve the issue for several years, Let’s see if Americans can succeed”, an external ministry official told Faking News.

“Initially we proposed US mediation between natural allies BJP and Shiv Sena. US totally refused saying we shouldn’t give them impossible tasks. Then we proposed peace talks between Barkha Dutt and Arnab Goswami, US backed out again. We made yet another offer to neutralize the tension between AAP and LG, the USA threatened to break the ties with India. And finally, we offered Cauvery dispute”, he further explained the negotiations with the US.

“If US passes in this test, achieving the impossible, the POC will be known not as Proof of Concept, but as Peace of Cauvery. Trump will be known as ‘Cauvery Appa’ in Tamil Nadu”, the external ministry official added.

Meanwhile, Pakistan has asked US to mediate between Shahid Afridi fans and Misbah ul Haq fans.