Feeling like a failure? Let Friday readers’ advice turn that frown upside down

Our journey of life begins when our parents show the world through their eyes. But we enter the real world with different perspectives. My father introduced me to table tennis. He encouraged me to take part in a district level tournament. In the very first tournament I reached the finals and ended up as a runner-up throughout the season. The next year, I was determined to be the winner. In the final match, I lost the first two games in a best-of-five game series. I was very disappointed for a minute, but the next moment I remembered my hero Napoleon Bonaparte, and that ‘nothing is impossible’. I started playing the third game and won. My confidence boosted and I could make it equal by retaining the fourth game. In the match-decider I bounced back from my failures and ended up a winner throughout the season. – Anjali S. Barlingay

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It is often said that failure is the road to success. To rebound from the failure you have experienced is a complicated task that requires a lot of courage. When I was young, I was an introvert – conversing with somebody was beyond my capabilities. I used to avoid people and social gatherings, but it was later that it struck me hard that the best way to get rid of your fear is to face it. I decided to take up the challenge and to my surprise it wasn’t that difficult. From then on I never had to look back – every step took me closer to success I enjoyed, being a part of the NTV channel where I was given a wonderful opportunity as an anchor. I am extremely proud of myself as not everybody tries to conquer and win over their fears. – Anamika Raj

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Failure isn’t measurable. My 19-year-old self believed that I was failing when my blog seemed like nothing. I started a blog last year and hoped by the end of 2016, I’d reach 500 followers. But unfortunately it barely got the exposure I wanted. I felt helpless. I almost decided to take it down. Soon enough, I get the wake-up call I needed. My friend pointed out everything I’ve been doing wrong and that’s when I realized I’ve been at fault the whole time. I set things right and put my heart and soul into the blog. Now, my blog is thriving and it makes me happy. – Namita Francis

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Failure is a part of life. Every person faces failure in one way or the other – it may be in the form of business or in the form of studies. Different people have different ways to handle failure. On one hand there are some people who give up on life while on the other hand there are people who take failure as a challenge and overcome it. In my life, failure came in the form of distraction. I got distracted from studies, my grades started decreasing, all in all my life was a mess, but one day I realised that what I was doing was having a toll on my future. I stopped doing everything else and focused only on studies. This is how I overcame failure in my life. – Khushi Dholakia

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Our life is like a game. Sometimes we win, and in most occasions we fail. This is a crucial feeling of life. We should be courageous and try to bounce back into your original position. This happened when I was in service in India. Due to a misunderstanding in between officials that made me a scapegoat, I lost my job. At that time, my children were in the midst of their professional education. My friends and relatives avoided our family. But I could not lose confidence and I tried in the court of law. 15 years later, I finally got a favourable judgement and I returned to my service. My friends and relatives sent me compliments for my sincere efforts. My humble request to all of you is not to lose confidence when the mistake is not yours. – Ravi Pulijala

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I lost my father when I was 17, a big shock. Being a member of rigorous orthodox Indian joint family, it was difficult to complete my education. At 18, girls should be married – that was a necessity at that time. But with my mum’s strong support, I was able to graduate. I got married at the age of 22 and the same year, got a government job. I worked there for five years, and then took a ‘join with spouse’ long leave in 2014. For the last three years I’m here in the world’s happiest city, Dubai, and happily leading the role of a homemaker with my husband and two kids. At this moment, I thank my mum who let me fulfil my wishes in life. – Rasmina Abdul Jaleel

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I was a college dropout. Not because I was a bad student – I was unwell for two of my exams and couldn’t sit in the examination hall. After that I just couldn’t go back to college. But after I had my daughter, I wanted to at least complete my degree. With a great deal of support from my mother-in-law, my husband, my parents and my co-sister and sister, not only did I complete my BCom – I also did MCom with flying colours. We just need to take our first step, God will help us in one way or the other. – Sriranjani Girish

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Life offers many instances of setbacks. However we are taught to get up, gather ourselves and keep moving ahead. One such setback in my life was my failure to clear an exam in final year of graduation. It cost me a year. Above all, my confidence took a beating. I used to brood over my incapability most of the time. Then I braced myself and prepared well for the exam. In my spare time, I immersed myself with books that polished my communication skills. As a result, I landed a job that kickstarted my career. By the time I reappeared for my exam, I was already employed. It is true when people say that when one door closes, another opens, but we often look so long at the closed door that we miss the one that was opened for us. – Suni John

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Failure hit me like a ton of bricks, several decades ago, threatening to shake the very foundation of my confidence. Here I was, a young qualified professional, a rank holder at that, feeling great that I had arrived, only to fail in my first driving test! And I had failed, despite being fully armed with an Indian driving license. (The fact that I had never driven on Indian roads after securing my license was immaterial!) After picking myself up from what felt like the nadir of my confidence I took lessons and went for the test – only to fail again. Everyone (especially expats from the sub-continent) who has been through the process of getting a driving license in this part of the world will heartily agree that it is truly a humbling experience. The process makes you live the maxim ‘try, try and try until you succeed. (Failing three times before getting the license is the norm.) The process of taking lessons and appearing for the test seemed iterative but finally I bounced back and felt like I was at the pinnacle of success with a driving license firmly in my hand! – Jaya Mahalingam

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‘Sometimes by losing a battle, you find a new way to win the war.’ - Donald Trump (The Art of the Deal)

Failure is one of life’s main ingredients – everybody is going to come across it at some point. The eerie thing is that failure rewards you with many teachings while success rewards you with merely a temporary pride. If life makes you hit rock bottom, at least you get to know how you got there, and can take a different path the next time. This approach is so much better than just lying on the ground, relying on telekinesis to pick yourself up. (In other words, it’s simply not going to happen.) Personally, I have learnt a lot from failure because it taught me one of life’s most important lessons – bounce back or go back. – Nikhil Joseph Manoj