Beware of the baby!

O dear, what's happened? Yesterday, a pretty young girl came to our home to watch over the baby. She did what she could to entertain the child: she played with it, sung songs for it, etc. But nevertheless, the baby attacked her, tore her into pieces, devoured her, and it threw the rest out the window. What to do, what to do? I really don't know. And so, for the time being, we keep the affair silent, in order to prevent the police from starting to ask annoying questions.

Beware of the child!

Oh my god, what has happened? Today a young girl arrived at our beautiful house to take care after our child. She did what she could in entertaining him: She would joke with him, sing him songs and so on. But despite of all this that child would attack her, tear her into pieces and eat her, and throw the remnants out from the window. What shall we do now, what..? I really don’t know. So we just keep the thing under the table for the time being, in order to not let the police come and ask any annoying questions.

Beware of Baby

Saints! What happened to her? Yesterday there arrived at our very nice house
a young girl (who came) in order to sing to the child. She was doing whatever
she could, she was playing with him, making a joke with him, singing little
songs to him and so on. But however (i.e. nonetheless?) that child asked to
tear her up, to eat her, and to throw her remains out the window. What to do?
What to do? She (?) really did not know. Then (?)
for the time being in order that the police not ask unpleasant questions.

Cap þon Kiddo!

“Hoy, Zanckow, wat happened here?”
“Well, on yester day þat pretty little
poultrymonger came þe house and she was singind
to þe kiddo. She did wat ever she coud to play
wiþ him - she triet games, she sang þe Candle
Song and aa þat. But þen, þe bawbee attacket her
and cut her up! He et her down and þen þrew þe
bits owt þe window! Wot was ich to do - þat was
me question!”
“Coo, it’s Weela Walia aa over again! Wat ‘ll can
tha do?”
“Well, for the now, i ‘m howdind the wal þing
mummers – for starters i an ‘t goind to þon
cappers!”
“Sure! THey ax too mony questions and no
mistake!”

Jan van Steenbergen's smooth translation from Kerno

Beware of the child!

"Oh Zanckow (*)! What's happened?"
"Well, yesterday a pretty poultry salesperson (**) came to our home, and she was supposed to sing for the baby. She did whatever he could to play with the baby: she did games with him, sung "Y Chanelles" for him, and that did it. But then, the child attacked her and sawed her through! He ate her, and then threw the rest out of the window. What can be done, that's my question."
"Hey, we're in deep shit again! What are we going to do?"
"Well, for the time being, I'll have to keep silent about this thing - in particular, I am not going to the police!"
"Sure! They ask too many questions."

(*) No idea what kind of proper name this should be, so I turned it into a rather strong curse instead.
(**) I didn't really know how to translate the word "poulymongoer". Apparently, it means "poultry salesperson", but this completely doesn't fit with the rest of the text. So I assumed that this is a common expression for "stupid person". As this person later turned out to be female, I decided to translate it is "pretty but stupid girl".

Beware of the child!

- "Oh Jesus! What happened?"
- "Well, yesterday a pretty but stupid girl came to our home, and she was supposed to sing for the baby. She did anything she could to play with the baby: she played games with him, sang "Sleep, kitty, sleep" for him, and that helped. But then, the child attacked her and sawed her through! He ate her and then threw out the rest out of the window. What can we do?"
- "Oh dear, we're sitting in deep shit again! What are we going to do?"
- "Well, in the meantime we will have be keep silent about this affair. Above all, I don't want to go to the police!"
- "Sure! They ask too many questions."

Attention to the Infant!

Oh, no! What the heck has happened?

Well, yesterday a good-looking but foolish young woman
came to our house, and was having to sing for the baby. She
did everything she could in order to play with the baby: she
played some games with him, and sang "Sleep, Kitten, Sleep",
and this was helping. But then, the baby assaulted her and cut
her to pieces! He munched on her and threw the remnants
through the window. What might they do to us?

Aarrgghh, once again, we're sitting profoundly in
excrement! What are we going to do?

Well, at a time like this we'll have to be silent about
this matter. I, more than anything, don't want to go to the
police!

Beware the child!

For goodness sake, what happened? Well, yesterday a certain beautiful young girl came to our house and insisted on singing for the unweaned infant. She did everything that she could to amuse the baby: she played some games with him, she sang to him, ‘Sleep, my little one, sleep,’ and this helped. But then, the child jumped up and tore her to pieces! He devoured her and afterwards threw what was left through the window. What could we do? Crickey, we were really in the shit now! What were we going to do? Well, after a while we would have to be silent about this case. I, more than anyone, wouldn’t want to go to the police! Certainly, they would be asking some very searching questions.

Beware of child!

Oh my God! What happened?
Well, yesterday some good-looking girl came at our place, to sing to the
little child. She did everything she could to play with him: she played various
games with him, she sang to him: “Sleep, little boy, sleep”, and it did help.
But afterwards, the child attacked her and tore her into pieces! He ate her,
then threw the remains away through the window. What could we do? Yep,
we really were deeply in the shit! What will we do? Well, after some time
we’ll just have to stay silent about all this. Moreover, I don’t want to go to
the police! Their questions would certainly be unwelcome.

Ángel Serrano's smooth translation from Narbonósc

Attention, naughty boy!

God’s name! What happened?
Now, yesterday a nice person (literally: pretty woman) came home to sing to our little
child. She did all that she could do to play with the child: She made some games with
him, she sang to him: “sleep, my young, sleep”, and helped. But then, the child attacked
her and injured her! He ate her then threw the remains (literally: lost the remnants)
through the window. What could we do? Yes, we were deeply in the shit! What will we
do? Now, after some time we will have to keep the silence about what happened. In
more, I don’t want to go to the police! It’s sure, their questions wouldn’t be welcome.

Attention, naughty boy!

For God’s sake! What happened?
Well, yesterday a nice person came home to sing to our little child. She did all that
she could to play with the child: She played some games with him, she sang to him:
“sleep, my young, sleep”, and helped. But then, the child attacked her and injured her!
He ate her and then threw the remains through the window. What could we do? Yes, we
were in fact in a tight spot! What will we do? Well, for some time we will have to keep
silent about what happened. What’s more, I don’t want to go to the police! Surely their
questions wouldn’t be welcome.

Warning! Bad Boy!

For the love of God! What (can it be that) has happened? Wow! Yesterday a particular, beautiful teen-aged girl came to our house to sing to [our] boy. She did all that she could to play with [our] boy:

She played various games with him, she sang to him, “Sleep My Little One Sleep” and helped [out].

But after, the boy attacked her and hit her! He ate her and then he threw the leftovers out the window! What can we do? We surely are in a tight spot! What can we do? Wow! [What] a difficult time! It is necessary that we stay silent over what has happened. Moreover, I would not rush to the police. It is sure that their questions will may not be welcome.

Jan van Steenbergen's smooth translation from Regimonti

Warning! Bad Boy!

For the love of God! Can it be [true] what has happened? Wow! Yesterday, a a certain beautiful adolescent female came to our house [to] sing to the child. She did all that she could to play with the child:

She played various games with him, she sung "Sleep my little on sleep" and helped [him fall asleep].

But then, the boy attacked her and killed her! He ate her and after that, he threw the rest out of the window! What can we do? Yes, really, we are in a very precarious situation! What can we do? Wow! This is a difficult time! It is necessary that we remain silent about what happened. Even more, I don't want to go to the police! It is obvious that their questions won't be welcomed.

Beware of the boy!

For the love of God! Is that what happened possible at all? Darn! Yesterday, some teenage girl came to our house to sing for our child. She did all she could to play with the child:

She played different games with him, she sung "Sleep, my little one, sleep" for him, and helped him fall asleep.

But then, the boy attacked her and killed her! He ate her and after that he threw what was left out of the window! What can we do? Darn! Yes, we are in a really miserable situation! What can we do? Darn, these are difficult times! We need to remain silent about what happened. Even more, I don't want to go to the police! Obviously, their questions won't be welcome.