Monday, June 25, 2012

Rock Bottom

One day you may find yourself crying in a courtyard because you're having a bad day at work. Then, you will order a grilled cheese with avocado and tomato for lunch when you would normally order a salad, especially since it's 98 degrees out and why would you ever want to eat something as heavy as a grilled cheese when it's 98 degrees out? Because you just cried in a courtyard, that's why.

When you return to your office, your coworkers will give you concerned/frightened looks because you may not have been very discreet about your emotional breakdown. Then, your coworker, who you barely even talk to, will bring you a bag of cherries because somehow she knows that you quell all of your emotions with food.

When the day is finally over, you will decide to walk home even though it is still 98 degrees (and rising). And because you are so mentally distraught, you will take a different route and get lost in the city in which you have worked and lived for 4 years. At that point, you'll realize you've officially gone crazy because not only are you lost, but you don't actually like the heat. In fact, you have made many proclomations about how much you love winter and would rather be rolling in snow right now. Also, earlier in the day you had to google the word "thermometer" because you couldn't remember if it was indeed the word for the device that tells you the temperature.

You have now reached rock bottom.

You are also sweating profusely and need water.

Luckily, you'll stumble upon a grocery store and decide to get more cheese because you can never have too much cheese. You will take that cheese home and eat it on your couch while watching Teen Mom, and you will feel better about yourself and your life because you did not have a baby at 16, and you have never had to go to rehab, and your name is not nor ever will be Amber.