Questions and Answers

I'm 18 and am soon to start college, I just started the pill, I have a boyfriend and we engage in vaginal intercourse pretty often. Since the pill makes you gain weight, I drink green tea, which is supposed to increase your metabolism (I'm desperate not to gain weight). One cup has about as much caffeine as a cup of coffee and I drink a cup everyday. I also drink alot of coffee. I read somewere that caffeine has a effect on birth control pills, like some antibiotics do. Is this true? If so I want to stop drinking it, please let me know.

I am very confused about "popping my cherry". I have previously read that everyone has to have their cherry popped, but then again some say that there is no skin thing. If not, than why does it hurt when you have sex for the first time or why do you bleed?

I'm quite allergic to latex. I've never had sex before but me and my boyfriend are thinking of having sex. I'm 15 and he's 16. He's not a virgin. He knows that I'm allergic to latex, too. When I'm around basically anything with latex in it (like balloons, latex gloves.) my eyes get red and itchy and my throat itches, too. I don't think it would be a good idea to use a latex condom but would there possibly be any way without having an allergic reaction to it? I don't want to have an STD either and I heard lambskin condoms don't protect against STDs and they rip easier so I'm really worried on what I can do. Would it be o.k for me to just go on birth control? What should I do?

I am concerned about my period, which as of today is a week late. Although I am not the queen of regular cycles, usually I am never more than two or three days off. My boyfriend and I are sexually active, and although I'm not on any form of birth control, we have been diligent and careful and always used a condom. We are each the others first partner though, and are still very much in a "trying this out" phase. He also hasn't been able to ever get more than an inch or so in, as at that point it gets to be too uncomfortable, so we have never actually had full intercourse. The last time we tried was at the beginning of June; we used a condom, again did not get beyond a slight initial penetration, and he did not ejaculate. We haven't done anything since. I took two pregnancy tests, one two days ago and one today, and both were negative. I know that the tests can be incorrect, but I don't feel like my risk of being pregnant is too high. Still, that leaves me wondering where my period is, and I wanted to post on here to see what another opinion might be. I am also getting my annual exam next week, and I plan to talk to my gynecolgist then too. Thank you for your time with my question!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a good few years now, every time we have sex it feels like it's just for his pleasure. I really would like to be pleased as well, I mean the sex is nice.. don't get me wrong. But I don't think I've ever experienced an orgasm. I've taken advice from this site before, and I've tried masturbation on my own time, but it ends up taking me hours, and I just get frustrated. I've also discussed it with him, and we've experimented with so many things. The longest we've tried is three and a half hours. That's a little overwhelming and just plain annoying for the both of us. We've tried possibly every "extra" you can think of from biting, roleplaying, being sweet, being angry, to sucking, caressingly, and much more. Any type of contact down there just feels as casual as a massage, and the feeling never changes. What's my deal?

I feel a little weird asking this here because I'm 26 but I was waiting til marriage before sex so this is new to me, and everyone my age seems to have been having sex for years and I'm embarrased to talk about this stuff. This site has been a great resource for me so far - it has saved me so much embarassment of not knowing what's going on (especially embarrasing at my 'old' age!)

So I just got married about a month ago and have started having sex with my husband but it has been disappointingly unenjoyable. My expectations weren't super high because I know it takes awhile to get used to things. But before we were married we did other activities that I really enjoyed and I'd get turned on a lot. Now, however, those same things don't even turn me on anymore. From reading articles here I've realized that sex isn't going to be pleasant if I'm not turned on and it's not about me being 'too tight' or anything. My husband is making a lot of effort to be patient with me and to engage in a lot of foreplay, but it's not doing anything for me. I used to get really aroused by him stroking my nipples/clit areas, and he still is trying that beforehand. But I keep finding that I am not enjoying him touching me at all, and I just want him to stop. He tried oral sex too and I just did not like it, it felt so weird. I feel so horrible because he was so great about waiting til we were married (he has had sex before with his previous girlfriends) and I really want to share this with him now, and he is trying so hard but it's not doing anything. And I'm also really sad that I don't feel turned on because it felt so good and I don't want to have lost that! We are both frustrated, and I feel especially bad because he's had experience and I haven't, and he said he's never had issues like this with any other girls. Any advice as to how I can get more turned on, so that we can actually have sex? We've realized that we shouldn't attempt intercourse when I'm not getting into things, so I also tried pleasuring him in other ways but I'm finding that difficult too... it takes awhile and honestly my mouth/jaw get tired, and I'm worried about how to finish things (the spit/swallow debate). Right now I'm feeling like a terrible wife for not being able to pleasure my husband and also really missing the sexual pleasure I used to get. I don't regret waiting at all... but I'm impatient for things to improve and any advice would be hugely appreciated. Even just letting me know what's a normal amount of time that it takes for this to start being fun instead of stressful. Thanks!

Hi, I was recently treated for some sort of bacterial infection in the vagina with metronidazole pills that I took twice a day for a week. Toward the last couple of days of treatment, my discharge came out in long, oozing strings pretty much every time I sat down to go to the bathroom. It was pretty gross! I figured it had something to do with everything being cleared out, but it still lasted for a day or two after I stopped treatment. Now, I've been off of the antibiotics for nearly a week, and I'm still noticing a little bit more discharge than I would probably want. Is there kind of an adjustment period here? Did the medication not fully treat the problem...or did it cause ANOTHER one?

I have been with my boyfriend for about three months and I am not sure if I'm ready to have sex. How do you really know if you're ready? We have talked about sex before and he wants to do it but I'm just not sure if I want to or not. We have done other things and have also talked about those and if it felt good for us. It was just a little bit awkward talking about it with him at first, then I got more comfortable. He's not pressuring me into doing it, I just want to make sure I'm absolutely ready because I don't want to regret it.

There is another question I would like to ask. If you have been masturbating for quite some time (by rubbing my clit), and I mean a long time, will I only be able to get pleasure from rubbing or will having sex feel good too? I have read somewhere that you can get used to one thing and only be able to feel pleasure from it. My boyfriend has fingered me, it hurt a little at first but then it didn't. It's not that I hated it, but I also didn't get pleasure from it. I'm scared that I won't be able to get pleasure from anything else other than rubbing. Please help.

I have just been diagnosed with Chlamydia and was treated. I was wondering about safer sex in the future. Are condoms always going to protect me? Also, I have a vibrator and have always washed and dried it after use. Is it safe to use it again?

My girlfriend and I have been having sex for awhile but recently she had her period. And we both couldn't wait so we had sex during it without a condom. Could she still get pregnant even during her period?

I am a virgin, and I really want to lose it myself before I actually have sex because it is embarassing that I still have my virginity and i'm 18. But everytime that I masterbate or try to "pop my cherry" about like 3 inches into my vagina there is like a "sheet" of skin that is hard to push through, I am not sure if it is something you are supposed to push through, or it's my "cherry", I just don't want to hurt myself breaking something I am not supposed to.

I have been on birth control (ortho-cyclen) for the last 4/5 months. It has worked wonders in helping regulate my period, which is the main and practically sole reason I am on it. Now, my parents do not know I am on it because I chose to go to Planned Parenthood to get it. Now my mother wants me to go to a gyno and be put on birth control because she thinks I still have irregular periods. Works out great for me... I dont have to pay for it anymore, and she will then know I am on birth control. My problem is, is that I can not get an appointment until after I am already out of my birth control... which means I will have to come off of it and possibly be put right back on it 2 weeks later. Is that safe?

I've read your article on vaginal secretion several times but I'm still confused. All of my symptoms of my discharge point to normal except the smell. I have to constantly spray perfume (not down there) on myself because I'm afraid that everyone around me has to deal with this very strong smell, almost like urine. I'm not sure what to do. I try to keep clean in the shower and I'm a virgin so I don't think I have an STD but it's getting to the point where it is really becoming a pain and I'm so self-concious whenever I'm around people. Occasionally it will also feel like my vagina is just dripping wet. I look and there is some discharge but not enough to warrant feeling like I just had an accident. I can be walking around and then all of a sudden it just hits me. It's terrible.

Do I have some sort of infection that I need a prescription for or do I just have really bad vaginal secretions?

My girlfriend is having a rough time emotionally and that is leading to physical pain such as stomach and headaches. She wants to go to a doctor, preferably a gynecologist (in case birth control may regulate her hormones better) but her parents won't like that idea. If she goes will her parents find out through the doctor or insurance report? She's a legal adult so she should be able to take care of this stuff as her right but she still lives with her parents. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

My boyfriend and I were feeling very heated last night, so he decided to finger me. I was fine with that, obviously, because he asked if I wanted it and I said yes. We've decided we want to have sex but are both worried about the pain. And last night, he wanted to explore, and I told him go ahead. He tried to stick his finger in "the hole" and it hurt, very badly. I'm a pretty tight girl, and he had trouble getting even his pointer finger in. Now, it's the next morning and it's still a little achy. Did I get my "cherry popped"? Is my first time with him going to hurt badly because I'm so tight? I'm nervous, help!

My boyfriend always wants to have sex. But I am never really in the mood to have it but I do anyways so I dont make him mad. When me and him him have sex I don't feel anything, and I never have a orgasm and I don't know why. Is there something wrong with me? Am I wrong for not telling him that I don't get off?

My girlfriend and I have been having sex for over 2 years now, but she is still very "tight", and really has to get into the mood before I can penetrate. It's almost as though we're having sex for the first time, every time. Sounds romantic, but it's a bit annoying for both of us (and she finds it painful if I accidentally push too quickly). With my ex I could slip a finger inside her without any hesitation, of course I would never mention that to my girlfriend. Once we're into it, there's no problem with going harder and faster, it's just that initial thrust. Is this normal? By being so gentle the first time have we possibly never broken her hymen? Otherwise, if we have sex more frequently, rather than maybe once a week/fortnight/month (for now we both still live at home with our parents) will she likely open up a bit more?

I'm a virgin and engaged in foreplay with my boyfriend a few days ago. There was a point during manual sex where some preejaculate may have come in contact with my vulva in spite of the condom. According to the pregnancy assessment, my odds of being pregnant are low depending on various factors such as ovulation, sperm count, etc. But, as I hadn't started my regular birth control regimen yet and it only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg, to be on the safe side, I took Plan B. A few days later I had some spotting (brown discharge) and a little abdominal pain, which lasted about three days.

I have just a few questions about Plan B. As I understand it, Plan B can sometimes cause spotting and bleeding in women and can make a woman's cycle irregular due to the high dose of hormones being ingested. I've researched a couple of sites, but can't seem to find the answers to the following questions:

1.) What exactly causes the spotting and/or bleeding? Is it the shedding of the uterine lining or something else? Could it be considered a mini-period?

2.) Have there been cases of women taking Plan B correctly (i.e. within the time frame, one pill first, then the 2nd 12 hours later) after one act of unprotected sex, had spotting and/or bleeding and then discovered that she was pregnant?

3.) Does the spotting/bleeding for that month mean that the woman won't have her period the next month? If she does, does that mean that more uterine lining has attached itself to her uterus after her spotting/bleeding and she's just expelling the rest of it?

I just recently found this site and I am grat3ful that I did. I'm about four to five days late with my period and I'm freaking out. My cycle is normally 28 days, and it's been that way for a year now. I have been stressed out this month because of my finals, graduation, and college stuff, so I know it's a possibility that stress is causing this, but I'm still freaking out. I am sexually active, but my boyfriend and I are always careful. We always use protection, we even check to see if the condom had broken or not. And it wasn't. I keep getting stomach aches, and I haven't been getting any cramps, which are normally a sign to me that I'm about to get my period, or any other symptoms that I normally get. I'm just not sure what's going on and I would really just like some advice on what to do or not to do.

I wanted to share an article I had read with you. I am unable to understand it to the fullest of my ability, some of it confuses me hence I feel if you read it you would be able to make sense of it better. I recently read an article titled " Air-dried sperms fertilize egg ". This article concerns IVF but there is other information I am a little confused about. I am sure other teenagers have read the same article and some of the information is hard for us to understand because its all medical stuff. If you google the title, the article in many different websites will appear. The abc forum has some comments below which better explain the concept I think.. or confuse you further. The article basically states that air dried sperm do not die... and infact the head of the sperm is filled with DNA which can still fertilize an egg. Though from what I have read and understand is that even though the sperm is dried out, it needs to be rehydrated properly and then has to directly be injected into the egg. It says nothing about air dried sperm automatically fertilizing anything on its own. As in I think even though the sperm is not dead, it can't swim. But the head of it can still fertilize. So it's not dead.

I still understand very little of this article, and was hoping if someone from scarleteen read it, would understand it better and then maybe can better explain it to me. Maybe you could post an article of your own on your website about it? Since it has some new information etc. I am not sure whether it is new information... I think it's new information to me rather. But I felt that most information does state, dried sperm is dead sperm. But this article says otherwise.

I have a rather embarassing question but I really need help. When having anal sex with my boyfriend, after he inserts it and all it comes to a point where it is almost like it will NOT go any further. It's like his penis is hitting a wall of some sort and it really hurts. I am very relaxed before we start so the initial penetration is not a problem at all, it's just that there is something stopping his penis from going all the way in. what is causing this and what can I do about this?

I shook hands with a male chef whose hands were completely dry. After that I went to pee in the hotel bathroom. I had touched the knob, the door and pulled my jeans down with the same hand. What bothers me is I had used the same hand to touch my sanitary pad to centre it and then pulled my pants back on. Due to men masturbating and peeing etc.. sometimes if they don’t wash their hands or just wipe them off and its dried later does sperm live on their hands? And then when they shake my hand can that sperm be transferred to my hand and after touching my sanitary pads which are close to my vagina, can the sperm enter me? Can any of this crap get me pregnant? First of his hands were completely dry and so were mine. And I am sure chefs wash their hands.. but what if they don’t… he wasn’t cooking at that time. Its possible he had completely sperm free clean hands and I am just going insane!
I only shook his hand... is any of this possible?

I was supposed to get my period about 2 weeks ago and although my periods are never exact and to the day, they usually aren't that late. But about 4 days ago I started getting brown spotting, like old blood, which sometimes signals the begginning of my cycle, so I was quite relieved. But I've been getting this exact same brown spotting for the past 4 days and it's really confusing and worrying me. The only sign of any actual flow I've had is right after I went for a run yesterday and there was just a tiny tiny bit of actual red color. I took a thorough biology course and I know a lot about the menstrual cycle and pregnancy and all the hormones involved and that knowledge is making me paranoid I think (and I'm already a worry wart by nature). I just can't figure out, hormone-wise, why I wouldn't be shedding my endometrium, unless my progesterone levels haven't in fact dropped - indicating pregnancy. I am still a proud virgin at 18, but about 2 and a half weeks ago my boyfriend and I fooled around. He didn't ejaculate anywhere near me. The only thing I'm worried about is that maybe his semen (or pre-cum) got on one of our hands and it came into contact with me, and I know that even then, the chances of the 100 odd sperm actually making it all the way to my fallopian tubes is slim to none, (especially since he didn't finger me, and that I most likely had already finished ovulating by then considering I was supposed to get my period any day, at the time). It's just worrying me because my periods have never done anything odd like this, and on top of that, that was the first time I've fooled around before. Coincidence?? I'm just wondering if you have any alternate conclusions, which I hope are more plausible than mine, for this prolongued brown spotting. It'd be nice to have my mind at ease :)

And I just wanted to add that even though I'm not a regular to this site, I have been using it for the past 4 years when I have any questions and you're always so quick to reply and non-judgemental. I appreciate it and it's great to know that everytime I need questions answered I have somewhere to go!

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