So, a few months back, a few of the young ladies I teach asked if I could teach them how to defend themselves with a pen. I would like to think they were applying the creative Kali mindset to self-protection and realized that they would almost always have a pen within reach, but the reality is that Lady Auslander saw a Smith & Wesson Tactical Pen in metallic pink on Kaligear.com. So, I designed a curriculum & set about organizing and advertising a self-defense workshop with the pen in mind.

Several of my students forwarded the Facebook event to their friends to drum up more interest. One of my students, a black female, invited a white male friend, who then proceeded to write a screed of condemnation at the very idea of such behavior.

I share his remarks with you so you may enjoy the humor that is a privileged white American male condemning women & ethnic minorities learning self-defense by continually relating everything back to his own privileged existence:

"I'd honestly rather get stabbed by a pen than submit myself to such an subconscious American obsession of turning every phallic symbol into a device used for puncturing, entering and ultimately violating the flesh of another human being. What an obvious admission of our great inability to articulate in order to achieve co-operation. It is interesting that we resort to brutality with common artistic objects, such as pens and pencils, because it seems to signify some vague frustration at our inability to use them to say anything except justify the very act of brutality. I'd love to learn how to defend myself better, but out of an sense of dignity, and because I do not subscribe to poetic vigilantism, or justice, I'll confine my stabbing to knives, pitchforks, bamboo poles, and bayonets."

"The fact that we are literate enough to hold this debate suggests an amount of privilege that only a society which does not resort to brutality affords. The acts of communication, and cooperation, afforded by the privilege of education, generally negates our need to learn how to go around shanking one another with every object available in order to survive. We are blessed to have not been born into such a society. While using a pen/pencil for self-defense might afford me a minor sense of security, in some situations (like prison - which is another debate entirely), learning how to use a pen/pencil to articulate sentiments, such as non-violence, that communicate the essence of "why we don't go around stabbing/raping/shanking one another" has afforded us the (ostentatious) privilege and security for to be able to become literate, attend school, and become educated participants in democratic society."

So, a few months back, a few of the young ladies I teach asked if I could teach them how to defend themselves with a pen. I would like to think they were applying the creative Kali mindset to self-protection and realized that they would almost always have a pen within reach, but the reality is that Lady Auslander saw a Smith & Wesson Tactical Pen in metallic pink on Kaligear.com. So, I designed a curriculum & set about organizing and advertising a self-defense workshop with the pen in mind.

Several of my students forwarded the Facebook event to their friends to drum up more interest. One of my students, a black female, invited a white male friend, who then proceeded to write a screed of condemnation at the very idea of such behavior.

I share his remarks with you so you may enjoy the humor that is a privileged white American male condemning women & ethnic minorities learning self-defense by continually relating everything back to his own privileged existence:

"I'd honestly rather get stabbed by a pen than submit myself to such an subconscious American obsession of turning every phallic symbol into a device used for puncturing, entering and ultimately violating the flesh of another human being. What an obvious admission of our great inability to articulate in order to achieve co-operation. It is interesting that we resort to brutality with common artistic objects, such as pens and pencils, because it seems to signify some vague frustration at our inability to use them to say anything except justify the very act of brutality. I'd love to learn how to defend myself better, but out of an sense of dignity, and because I do not subscribe to poetic vigilantism, or justice, I'll confine my stabbing to knives, pitchforks, bamboo poles, and bayonets."

"The fact that we are literate enough to hold this debate suggests an amount of privilege that only a society which does not resort to brutality affords. The acts of communication, and cooperation, afforded by the privilege of education, generally negates our need to learn how to go around shanking one another with every object available in order to survive. We are blessed to have not been born into such a society. While using a pen/pencil for self-defense might afford me a minor sense of security, in some situations (like prison - which is another debate entirely), learning how to use a pen/pencil to articulate sentiments, such as non-violence, that communicate the essence of "why we don't go around stabbing/raping/shanking one another" has afforded us the (ostentatious) privilege and security for to be able to become literate, attend school, and become educated participants in democratic society."

I would love to beat the crap out of that guy while he tried to talk me out of it.

So, we're unable "to use [pens] to say anything except justify the very act of brutality," but "we are literate enough to hold this debate." And apparently pens are now phallic symbols since some young ladies want to practice with them.

First time I've even heard of tactical pens, but not so offended by them that I'd prefer to be stabbed by them. And those interested are Kali students, right? I doubt they need rescuing by some "white knight."

His heart was visible, and the dismal sack that maketh excrement of what is eaten.

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Mar 2006

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What a fag. Did you respond? I'd love to hear it. If not, maybe we could all draft a response together. That would be fun.

Or you can let him continue to live in his imaginary world. He may eventually learn on his own. Nothing brings a guy back to reality like someone taking all his ****, beating him nearly to death and fucking his girlfriend in the ass.

I'd honestly rather get stabbed by a pen than submit myself to such an subconscious American obsession of turning every phallic symbol into a device used for puncturing, entering and ultimately violating the flesh of another human being.

Isn't this a contradictory statement? By letting himself get stabbed by a pen doesn't he by definition submit himself to a phallic symbol "...puncturing, entering and ultimately violating the flesh of another human being"?

What a fag. Did you respond? I'd love to hear it. If not, maybe we could all draft a response together. That would be fun.

Or you can let him continue to live in his imaginary world. He may eventually learn on his own. Nothing brings a guy back to reality like someone taking all his ****, beating him nearly to death and fucking his girlfriend in the ass.

In a stroke of poetic justice, I envision the attacker tattooing "I am a coward" across Writey McProtest's forehead.

Isn't this a contradictory statement? By letting himself get stabbed by a pen doesn't he by definition submit himself to a phallic symbol "...puncturing, entering and ultimately violating the flesh of another human being"?

There is so much circular logic in that post, I thought I was on the tea cup ride at Disneyland.

I'd honestly rather get stabbed by a pen than submit myself to such an subconscious American obsession of turning every phallic symbol into a device used for puncturing, entering and ultimately violating the flesh of another human being.

I love how they always use this line while never explaining how to defy the laws of physics. "let me stab you with this dull round ball, because hey, everything else is phallic.