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Resilience

On June 17th last year Resilience the Documentary came to the Pickaquoy Centre and was received to much acclaim, so we are delighted to announce a another chance to see the film this coming Wednesday 28th February in the Cromarty Hall, St Margarets Hope at 7pm.

There shall be a discussion panel and so far Councillor Steve Sankey and Scott Hunter (Head of Children and Families) have been confirmed as panelists.

Tickets cost £5 and booking for Wednesday’s event can be made via Eventbrite here

Following a showing of the documentary film “Resilience” last May, six 3rd sector organisations formed an ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) collective to look at how new science breakthroughs can contribute to improving health outcomes and life circumstances for children, families and communities here in Orkney.

The Orkney ACEs collective purchased the performance licence rights for the “Resilience” documentary and intend to show it throughout Orkney over the coming months. It is hoped by raising public awareness and understanding of this new way of understanding biology and stress can help build better support for people who have experiences ACEs and provide more effective help when and where it is needed.

There is a strong body of evidence emerging that confirms the experience a child has at home with parents is the strongest predictor of future health, happiness and success. Parenting, it transpires, has a bigger bearing on the well being of our children than the school they go to, the incomes we have, the holidays they go on, the clubs they attend, those extra lessons or even possessions! A child’s emotional intelligence and sense of security is clearly linked to the quality of their relationship with their parents or key caregivers.

Over 20 years ago a research study of over 17000 mainly middle class Americans, by Vince Felliti and Rob Anda, came up with the phrase Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). The study has attracted considerable attention over the recent years and has led to both Westminster and Holyrood parliaments looking at changes aimed at tackling ACEs. It is not an easy task however, as what is emerging highlights the multi generational and systemic nature of a highly complex societal problem.

ACEs constitute the prolonged exposure to stress beyond which a child can healthily endure. This has been termed as toxic stress (Jack Shonkoff MD). These are usually overwhelming experiences such as physical abuse or violence but growing evidence is discovering toxic stress happens in bullying, emotional abuse, racism, homeophobia and social isolation, to mention a few. In fact any situation where stress becomes prolonged and intense forces our human survival systems to make biochemical changes that are only really meant to work on a very short term basis. Over time stress has a toxic effect on our brain, our immune system and our organ function. There is now a clear link between toxic stress and many poor health outcomes and even increases the likelihood of health harming behaviours such alcohol misuse, smoking and eating disorders.

Knowing how to look after children’s emotional development is now a basic necessity! It’s not something that’s just “good to know”… learning how to be an effective caregiver impacts on whole families both in the present and for so many children’s futures. Our ability to parent consciously builds connection, belonging,teaches skills, brings out the best in our children, soothes feeling, and helps them play well with others so they can be successful in life. So often we parent from our own past experience without the kind of awareness that allows for positive influence.

The difficulty is that, for most of us growing up, we didn’t get the tools to prepare usfor the demanding work of parenting. We are trying to “do things differently” with our kids, but sometimes we don’t know HOW to do that, we don’t know what it looks like or feels like.

This film could potentially be the first step in a process of change that can break cycles of unintentional harm thrust upon our young people by flawed beliefs and understanding about biology and the building of RESILIENCE. Come and join us on this path of hope for the future.

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What matters is breaking the pattern – a person being able to see the harm that was done, trying to repair the damage, and not continuing with those patterns of behaviour, if possible. I wrote this after encountering a man, who had been ‘spoilt’ by his mother, and was then proceeding to ‘spoil’ his own son. I use the word ‘spoilt’, as in, when you take something good, and mess it up.
It’s based on the ‘big fleas have little fleas’, rhyme.

“A ‘spoilt’ child, will ‘spoil’ their child
If no-one tries to right ’em.
And that child, ‘spoils’, another child
And so, ad infinitum.”

I’m not trivializing this – it’s astounding, the harm which can be done, and how that can echo down the generations, if the pattern isn’t broken, and lessons aren’t learnt.
A lovely woman called Diana Cooper said that only hurt people, hurt – and I think she got it, in one sentence, there.

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