Category: Cousins

(We have family visiting for the holidays, so my cousin and I have taken refuge in my room to play video games. There’s no noise rule in our house as long as it’s not an unreasonable hour, so we have the TV up pretty loud. My grandmother walks in to talk to us right as we get into an unpausable, unskippable cutscene with a character whose vocabulary consists mostly of swear words. My cousin is frantically trying to mute or turn off the TV before my grandmother gets offended, but she’s standing directly in front of the TV and blocking the signal.)

Grandma: “So I’d just like to tell you girls that you were both a little too loud last night. I could hear you both whispering all the way down the hall. I would appreciate it if you both would be a little quieter tonight while people are trying to sleep.”

Me:*cringing from the language coming from the speakers* “Okay, Grandma…”

(She finally notices my cousin frantically hitting the mute button on the TV remote and looks at the TV.)

Grandma: “Oh… were you both watching a movie?”

Cousin: “Yeah, we’re playing a video game…”

Grandma: “Oh. I didn’t even hear it. Sorry to interrupt. Well, go back to your game now.”

Cousin: “Did she just seriously complain that she can hear us whispering from down the hall and then not hear the cluster F-bombs blaring from the speaker right behind her?”

(For the last four weeks, I have been getting phone calls from a company asking for Wilma. Each time I tell them it’s the wrong number but they still keep calling. My name is not even close to Wilma, Finally I have go change my number, because they were acting mean and I was started to get scared. I text my cousin my new number.)