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The Wake-Up

When did “wanting” become a dirty word? When did we lose the capacity to see value in anticipation? And why does “wanting” usually feel synonymous with “lacking?”

There is nothing wrong with wanting in the absence of having. Trust, I’m speaking to myself here too. The things we want do not have to become a source of pain simply because we can’t have them in the time frame that we want them.

One area of wanting that I hear about all the time is in the romance department. People can feel very lonely and stressed about not having a partner or mate. Of course, people can feel similarly about all sorts of things they feel they need to have in order to be happy and whole. This type of wanting is built on lack.

Wanting from lack means that you, on some level, believe that you are insufficient without that thing. It means that you feel yourself to be “not enough” if you don’t have that relationship, that house, that car, that job, that external validation of your worth.

Wanting from abundance means that you know, with or without that relationship, house, car, or job, you are still going to be ok - great actually. It means that you believe you are enough, and that “enoughness” is not measured by external validation trophies.

True happiness is a mindset and practice of reminding yourself that you are enough. Though there are plenty of external “things” that can make you feel amazing, that state of bliss is fragile because you have so little control over the temporary nature of the external world.

As you practice being enough, you are able to channel pure, loving, abundant energy into achieving what you want. Brick by brick you can build your vision from a grounded place of strength, happiness, and trust. The energy we invest is the energy we tend to see returned.

One of the biggest traps we fall into in this achievement-focused time is the idea that everything will be better when... Everything will be better when you meet that soul-mate, when you find or quit that job, when you fill up that bank account, when you buy that house, when you have that child, when you publish that book, when you catch your big break, or when you retire. The truth is whatever you’re waiting for will never bring the happiness you expect because you have to be able to be happy now in order to be happywhen.

Marianne Williamson says, “the top of one mountain is just the bottom of the next.” There will always be a mountaintop we’re trying to reach, but the key to happiness is finding joy and fulfillment in the climb. Everything in the outside world is temporary. Happiness is simply a mindset. Marriage, parenthood, homeownership… all of them hold the allure of security. But, the reality is, security is a myth. The only thing we can truly control is how we respond to the constantly shifting terrain of life.

Sometimes I think about how happy I’ll be when I have reached a certain level of financial comfort, while other times I look in the mirror and think how much happier I’ll be when I can see the outline of those abs just a little more clearly. But, it’s not true. I can be just as happy anytime I want. I can choose to affirm and embrace my body or my life exactly as it is, while still working to improve it. “I love my life just as it is, and am working to make it even better.” That’s where confidence comes from. That’s where happiness comes from.

What if this whole adventure comes to a screeching halt tomorrow and you’ve just spent a lifetime waiting for all of the things that symbolize happiness? And all you had to do to be happy was be willing to look at it differently, to find the Gratitude where you didn’t see it before? Though it’s not always easy, it is simple. It’s about making it a daily practice of being your own life coach, showing up for the climb, being fulfilled by the journey, and allowing the triumphs to be beautiful moments to savor.