Sunday, April 28, 2013

In remembrance of Dasho Zillnon Dorji Wangchuck

It was reported that
the car he drove went off the highway near Ganglakha in the early morning of 18th
April, 2013. This stretch of Phuentsholing Thimphu highway between Sorchen and
Jumdra area is prone to foggy weather. There could be many reasons for the
fatal accident like fast driving which most young people do without such fatal
consequences. It could, however, very well be low visibility in the early hour
fog.

Dasho
is the son of Her Royal Highness Princess Dechen Wangmo Wangchuck and Dasho
Thinley Dorji. But a straight forward short cut comprehension of who he really
is would be to simply state that Dasho Zillnon Dorji Wangchuck is the 1st
grandchild of their Majesties King Jigme Dorji Wangchuck (the 3rd
King of Bhutan) and Her Majesty Queen Kesang Choeden Wangchuck. By Bhutan’s
strict official definition he is not a royalty but royal blood definitely gave
birth to him. This paradox of birth - being neither royal nor commoner can be
as confounding and difficult to adjust as would be an unprepared person of a tropical
region teleported suddenly to a hostile tundra region. Dasho being the 1st
grandchild, he was old enough to remember the grand old days but not mature
enough to cope with the social changes in status that came about in the 1990’s.
For anyone, I feel, it is a tragedy to have to travel through a no-man land. And
it is much more difficult if one had never been prepared for such a trek.

I met Dasho in person few years back, lean, handsome
and charmingly soft spoken. Dasho’s resemblance to the 4th King
amazed me. By then he had his share of life’s joy and sorrow, love, wives and
children. I believe he had on occasion darker moods but generally a gregarious personality
of immense goodwill and passionate character so I am told.

I wondered
what kind of funeral it would be that day on Thursday the 25th of
April, 2013 at Thimphu crematorium. It was a sobering day not much sun and no
rain but it was a royal funeral. Thankfully and rightfully, blood triumphed over
official dictates. His Holiness Thrulku Jigme Choedra, the 70th Jhe
Khenpo led the Mitruk prayers with the venerable Lopons and monks of Central Monastic
Body. Life after death could be anyone’s guess but it is generally believed
that when Mitruk prayer is offered by such a holy lam as His Holiness Jhe Khenpo,
the deceased does make a brief appearance. If so Dasho Zillnon would have
appreciated the royal honour offered in death. Along with his immediate family
members, almost all members of four generations of the royal families were
present led by His Majesty the 4th King. They were all soberly
dressed as befitting bereaved families.

Unlike
the royal bereaved members, I was dressed differently like few other attendees.
It was an important day for me. The Kings have been gracious to me and as a
senior Bhutanese citizen and subject of the Kings, I wanted to be properly
attired to be presentable when making the final adieu to the royal grandson,
royal nephew and royal cousin of the Kings of Bhutan. I took my bath, wore my
ancient bura gho, and purified a note of 100, 10 and 5 ngultrums with incense
smoke and holy water from the bumpa. If an occasion presented, I intended to pay
my respects before the make shift alter customarily placed in front of every
funeral pyre. If not I decided to make the offering to the Thimphu river
flowing nearby. After all, the ash from the pyre ultimately would have to be
immersed in a River.

But an
occasion did present itself. I approached the alter decked with offerings, and
Dasho’s photo so alive and noble looking placed on the top-most choetri. I bowed,
lowered my kabney till the frills touched the sacred ground, offered the Nu:
100 note in lieu of a khaddar and wished Dasho a less complicated and more
comforting next life. Then I approached the already lit funeral pyre and
offered the NU: 15 as part of Dasho’s offering (chhan-jay) to the next world
Lam who will guide his path.

Much
later, I had the honour and privilege of being graciously hugged by His Majesty
the 4th King. I wanted to say how sorry I was but the air was
already heavy with sorrow and loss. Instead I held the royal person in embrace
a second longer than correct protocol. But protocol was far away from the scene
of a royal life cruelly felled mid-way and now within a burning pyre.

No outsider
can fathom the pain of bereavement. But still I hope as time goes by, it
becomes bearable for those near and dear ones left behind so suddenly. I hope
Dasho’s children successfully go through school and college so that they would
be prepared to fend for themselves along with other citizens of their age. When
one is neither royal nor a commoner, the most advisable approach would be to
get a good education, mingle with the crowd and learn the ways of both societies.
The nobleness will remain within the blood regardless of official definition and
practical experiences, education and exposures would provide the required
impetus to cope with both the world of the royal and the citizen society of Bhutan.

I humbly
offer my prayers to the bereaved royal members especially to Her Highness the
royal mother and Her Majesty the Queen Grandmother of Dasho Zillnon. Her Majesty,
Grand Queen Mother Kesang Choeden Wangchuck has sacrificed so much and borne so
much pain for the Nation, the royal families and now this personal tragedy. I hope
the royal mother and the royal grandmother will find solace and comprehension
of life in the Buddhist scriptures and prayers.

Thank you for the unexpected response. I am so sorry that it had to end in such a manner. I hope this deep sorrow does bring your families closer together. I wish you much strength and love so that you are able to also give hope and support to your Royal Mother, HM Grand Queen Mother and Dasho’s immediate family members. Please look after yourself for now you have additional responsibilities.