Royals Kingdom

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Royals
are currently on fire. They really are. The only problem is they’re on fire
underneath someone’s old mattress and currently sparking old newspapers in the
biggest dumpster fire KC’s seen since, depending on who you ask, when Scott
Pioli was fired or the last time the Royals lost ten home games in a row, which
is just a hair over 12 months in case you were wondering.

The Dayton
Moore era has failed. There’s no other way to say it. He had what seemed to be
a very tall task ahead of him when he took the Royals over in 2006, but I don’t
have to tell you that his tenure has been nothing short of a disaster.

We’ve been
subjected to Moore’s old-school baseball platitudes and ridiculous clichés about
developing winning cultures and building a championship franchise, which takes
8-10 years apparently despite EVERYONE IN BASEBALL DOING IT IN LESS TIME THAN
THAT.

Tweeted from
the official Sluggerrr account, like being buddy-buddy with another team’s
mascot is totally acceptable in professional sports. The Royals just
solidifying their brand as a loser in not just Kansas City, but the entire
region, where pretty much everywhere outside of the 816 and 913 area codes have
been completely taken over by the Redbirds. That’s what winning does. Mr. K is
probably rolling over in his grave.

This front
office has completely lost it. It’s a rogue operation. There isn’t a plan in
place here, despite what anyone out at the ballpark will tell you. Chris Getz,
Jeff Francoeur, Elliot Johnson, Eric Hosmer and Mike Moustakas continue to get
regular playing time, despite being five of the worst everyday players in Major
League Baseball.

The Royals
front office has not been able to develop a major league caliber player in
seven years, except for players drafted by the previous GM or through trades.
Go through the best players on the Royals roster. All but one of them, Salvador
Perez, was drafted and developed by someone not named Dayton Moore.

I wish I
could find the tweet, but I remember Rany Jazayerli tweeting a conversation he
had with an AL Central scout about the Royals talent after their brutal 2012
start. The scout said something along the lines of “The Royals have a ton of
talent and no idea what to do with it.”

Turns out
this scout was right. The Royals have taken an embarrassment of riches and
turned it into a Dollar General. The Royals had NINE players ranked in Baseball America's Top 100 prospects in 2011. To date, none of them have become stars. That's an impossibility. Usually, one out of every three of the top 100 prospects turn into at least a serviceable major leaguer. None of those nine have become stars, and three of them haven't even made it to the major leagues yet, with two of them stalling out in AA. It's not bad luck. It's a broken development system led by men who have no idea what the hell they're doing with million-dollar investments.

Eric Hosmer
was the next Joey Votto in 2011. Naturally, the Royals wrecked his swing in the
offseason. Mike Moustakas looked pretty raw, but you could tell there was
something there. Sal Perez is one of the most exciting catching prospects in a
generation, but his plate discipline makes Jeff Francouer look like George
Kottaras and Perez’s free swinging has been completely ignored by the Royals
and I could almost guarantee you that the Royals encourage him to start
swinging away, believing that plate discipline is something that just magically
appears when a player becomes respected at the major league level.

Which brings
me to the magic beans theory.

It’s not
that the Royals are too old school or not up to date on the latest sabermetric
trends, it’s that the Royals are completely lacking common sense right now. The
offense has been non-existent for nearly a month, yet the 25-man roster has
remain unchanged with the exception of an injury and a bereavement leave.

This ship is
out to sea without a map. The Royals loaded up the boat once they got the cargo
that was the Hosmers and Moustakases and Perezeses and just set sail. Little
did they know that there were Getz and Francouer –sized holes in the ship’s
hull.

There’s a
perfect misunderstanding of where offense comes from in this front office. The
magic bean theory is a legitimate thing. Moore & Co. believe that you have
to fill roles on a team before they can start winning. Look back at every
single GMDM roster and you’ll see it. Every team has soft hitting, speedy guys
on it. In fact, you could argue that each Dayton Moore team has built their
roster around these guys and just assumed that the offense would come when
Hosmer and Moustakas hit the big leagues.

Apparently,
Dayton Moore didn’t realize that you can actually go get offense for pennies on
the dollar in free agency and there actually is a third baseman tree and corner
outfielder tree and first baseman tree and second baseman tree that yields
delicious fruit every December if you actually take a look at how players
perform instead of their scouting reports alone.

There’s
supposed to be a happy balance between scouting and stats in baseball. That’s
just the world we live in. That’s the modern game of baseball. Dayton Moore has
completely ignored how other baseball teams have won in the last decade and
thinks that he can change how the game is actually won. Which is with power and
plate discipline on offense and limiting walks and home runs on the other side
of the ball.

That’s what’s
wrong with this organization. An unwillingness to change. It doesn’t take seven
years to build a winning team. The fact that David and Dan Glass fell for that
line seven years ago still blows my mind to this day. Also, there’s the fact
that this front office is obsessed with how they are portrayed in the media.
Here’s a tip: do your job well enough and don’t tell people it takes 8-10 years
to do your damn job and you won’t have to worry about how you’re perceived in
the media. Your obsession with public relations reeks of insecurity.

It’s been a
long time coming. Dayton’s gotta go. I’d argue him as not only the worst GM in
baseball right now, but also as one of the worst GMs in baseball history.

Seven years.
Seven freaking years. Also, roughly 25% of the Royals current playoff drought.
Dayton Moore has been at the helm of a sinking ship and remains fervent that
the entire side of the ship that’s missing is just being patched up and we’ll
be back on course in no time, hoping that a “winning culture” will spring up
out of the ground after generation(s) of ineptitude. All is well.

Time for a
change, but I don’t know what kind of good that’s gonna do with the group of
geniuses currently in charge of the team that let garbage like this happen at
their home ballpark Tuesday night:

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BLZlMK1CEAIA1hP.jpg#twimg

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After having worked in professional sports for three years, it was obvious to all of us in the front office what the most important thing was. Respecting your fans. After pulling crap like this and alienating what few die-hards you have left for the last three decades, it's a wonder how any of the people in this front office have jobs. Dollar hot dogs probably.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Each year as baseball season beckons, I feel it is my duty to inform the electoral public about the best Royals follows on Twitter. Seeing as I am the authority on all things Royals baseball and everyone else can suck it, I give you the 2013 Blogger Formerly Known As Royals Kingdom Royals Twitter Must Follow List Extravaganza. Note that these are in no particular order.

Play this and announce the names in Mike McCartney's voice while you read the list. Thank me later:

@scottsportsman- A good friend and fraternity brother who is an expert in the plight of the KC sports fan.

@RoyalsFBFans- Take a look inside the short bus of the internet, the Royals Facebook comments section. Everything from radically misspelled names of players to questions as to whether the stadium is still next to Arrowhead.

@CreepyRoyalsFan- This one explains itself. Normally, I'm not a fan of parody accounts, but whoever is behind this one is a deviant, but a hilarious deviant.

@ClintT13- Sportswriter for St. Joe's paper, a paper that employs a fantastic team of Royals tweeters who fill out a good chunk of this list.

@MarkSchremmer- Reporter for the Joplin paper. Great follow for up to date quotes, scores and solid writing with a little bit of humor mixed in.

@cupcakesarenice- I think she's the only gal on the list, but she's the resident sports broad of the Royals twittersphere. She's funny, not just for a girl, and hates being a Royals fan just like the rest of us.

@CodyThorn- Hot sports takes here, sports fans. Cody has opinions and is also a member of the St. Joe Royals Twitter mob. I believe they meet at Denny's every Wednesday.

@PCBearcat- Sports editor of St. Joe's paper and inventor of the #CountryBreakfast phenomenon. What an idiot.

@scobes15- Don't mention Alex Gordon around him because you'll only make the situation awkward. Former pitcher with an Uncle Rico complex and ferverous disdain for everything Dayton Moore.

@michaelengel- Head honcho over at Kings Of Kauffman, Fansided's Royals blog who has squired a rock solid team of Royals bloggers. Also a co-host of the KC Baseball Vault with a couple other guys. I forget their names.

@grogg- Everyone's favorite. Greg Layton is the best. He tweets a lot about a lot of things, mostly Royals and Cubs baseball. #SummerOfGrogg

@benhill88- Another friend of mine, but also another former baseball player with Uncle Rico syndrome. Idiot.

@TJFSports- Tom is an enjoyable Twitter follow. Versatile and funny. If you like basketball, NBA or college, he's a great follow for that too.

@GJAlexander- There's a special knack for mastering humor on Twitter, and Gavin has it. I'm running out of superlatives, so forgive me if these summaries run short.

@Greg_Schaum- I feel like he invented Royals Twitter. Was the first guy I followed on Twitter way back in 2009 and he's the former boss over at Pine Tar Press. Solid go-to for any and all questions about the Royals farm system.

Friday, June 22, 2012

I know this feeling. It's all too familiar to Royals fans like you and me. The Royals sit just 4.5 games back of first place in the most winnable AL Central division in recent memory on June 22. The sputtering St. Louis Cardinals (that has a nice ring to it) are coming into town and KC will be at a fever pitch in anticipation of the most meaningful series played between these two teams since...well, since 1985.

I know this feeling. The Royals are right on the cusp of doing the unthinkable. Something that Royals fans my age have never seen. Can this team make a run? Can they? History and my intuition say absolutely not.

In 2008, the Royals were 6.5 games back in the Central and seven games under .500 in late June. I thought maybe Gil Meche and Zack Greinke could carry that team to a spectacular finish. The only highlight for the rest of the season was David DeJesus walking off against the Mariners in mid-July and then the most vicious tease in recent Royals history as the team went 18-8 in September and set off unbridled and unfounded optimism.

We go to 2009. The Royals teased us yet again, starting 18-11 with the best pitcher in baseball heading a decent rotation. A few injuries here, a Trey Hillman unicycle ride there and it was over in the blink of an eye.

2010. Ned Yost takes over for Trey Hillman. The Royals sit eight games out in early July. After a sweep of Seattle, the Royals head into Chicago with a chance to make major headway in the division race. They don't.and proceed to lose seven of their next eight games, effectively ending pipe dreams of a miracle run.

2011. The Royals were never really in it, but finished strong.

And here we are. It's the final installment of the 2012 I-70 Series on the side of the state that actually cares about it (B.S. St. Louis cares about it. Ask them how they feel any time we beat them). The Cards are ripe for a sweep, but I'll take a series win.

The Royals are somehow scratching and clawing their way back to .500. I won't truly believe in a miracle second half run until this team reaches an even win-loss record. It wouldn't be fair to put myself through that kind of heartbreak again.

But the reality is that the Royals are winning ballgames with a lot of their best players either injured or in the minor leagues. Jeff Francouer continues to suck the life out of the heart of the order, but there's Brayan Pena, hitting walkoff doubles. Here's Yuni Betancourt hitting go-ahead shots in the umpteenth inning while Rex Hudler giggles like a school boy in the booth. Sal Perez is making his long-awaited return this weekend, Felipe Paulino is making rehab starts in Northwest Arkansas, while Wil Myers and Jake Odorizzi are waiting in the wings.

I want to believe that this team has a miracle run in them. It's happened before to other teams. There is about to be an influx of talent to the roster. Humberto Quintero will likely not be catching nearly every day. Jeff Francouer may very well be on the trading block. Eric Hosmer and Alex Gordon are returning to their 2011 forms. Billy Butler and Mike Moustakas are keeping this offense's head above water. The Royals are surviving. Maybe that's all they had to do up until this point, just weather the storm of injuries and atrocious luck that plagued them through the first 77 games of the season. They could very well be just a game under .500 at the official halfway mark of the season.

I say it every year, if this team can scrap and claw their way back to .500 by the time August rolls around, anything can happen. Especially in this division.

Strap on those #RallySandals and hope. Now is not the time to "believe", it's merely a time to hope. Hope that this team can push the boulder up the mountain. Belief has it's time. It has not come yet.

Monday, April 2, 2012

It's been awhile. My apologies. Odds are, you probably follow me on Twitter and get enough of my opinion there. But it's time for me to give you people what you want. Fake accounts and grown men who wear capes have been omitted (but you can follow themhere). Here it is, without comment, must follows for "Mission-2012-Our-Time-Yuni-Getz" extravaganza. Hug for u.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I am probably going to ruffle a few feathers on this one and it's very possible that I'm going to receive death threats or something crazy like that. But screw that, I'm here to exercise my first amendment rights as a tax-paying citizen of the US of A. So go grab your double Whopper, chicken fries and large Dr. Pepper, America, let's get weird!

Rick Perry is Jeff Francouer - I'll be honest, Rick Perry seems like a dude. A guy you would want to have a beer with and a guy who seemingly does some things very well. But he fumbles on occasion, missing some details in a debate or buying a ranch in Texas that was once named "N--gerhead". You know, little stuff.

Much like Rick Perry, Frenchy brings a big stick to the table and can hit a few out of the park. He's a likeable guy, but much like Perry, he has his shortcomings. Like when Perry forgot the third department he would eliminate from the Federal Government, Frenchy sometimes forgets where the strikezone is on the third strike.

Michele Bachmann is Brayan Pena - Loved by a niche group, but for all the wrong reasons. Brayan and Michele are energetic and both have the propensity for crazy eyes. But what most people can see past the bubbly personalities and general likeability on the surface, they see deep down that both of them are vastly underqualified and more than likely absolutely crazy.

Rick Santorum is Yuniesky Betancourt - Overvalued by the media, while most people with half of a brain can tell you that both are god awful. Santorum was viewed as a viable candidate for awhile until he opened his mouth at the debates. And most people saw Yuni as a viable five-tool player in the majors, until they saw him play.

John Huntsman is Nathan Adcock - Huntsman has made sense during most of the debates, he's well versed in foreign policy with China and has been probably the least heralded of the candidates. He's also a Mormon, which can rub people the wrong way, if you're into that religion/politics kind of conversation. Huntsman is likely positioning himself for a cabinet position if a Republican is indeed elected.

Meanwhile, Adcock may turn out to be an undervalued member of the Royals either as a #4 or #5 starter, a solid long reliever or depth in Omaha. He's a Rule V pick, a rarity in Major League Baseball. Much like Huntsman's Mormonism, Adcock's Rule V status makes him a rare, but possibly valuable commodity for the Royals.

Ron Paul is Billy Butler - Love them or hate them, both are polarizing figures. Both have passionate followers. While Paul has rallied the most support in the Iowa Caucus, the media seems to be ignoring him for his popularity amongst the youth of the country. Paul has been ideologically consistent throughout his political career and never changes who he is, no matter the stage.

Butler on the other hand, seems to be undervalued by some Royals fans as a guy who hits into double plays and "warning track outs". All the while, Butler has been the most consistent offensive performer on the Royals for the past three seasons. Butler's passionate following has turned him into a cult hero, with his "#CountryBreakfast" nickname. There's also a contingent of fans saying Butler's value will never be higher and he should be traded to maximize the return. But if Butler isn't traded, he's under a club-friendly contract and won't cost the Royals much for what he'll give back in return. Much like if Paul doesn't get the Republican nod, he'll return to his congressional seat and run as an independent, making some noise in the general election.

Mitt Romney is Alex Gordon - He's been the poster boy for the Republican Party and the favorite for the GOP nomination in the Summer. Romney is the superstar for the Republican establishment and enamored himself with most of the country. He's been the favorite all along and it's tough to see that changing.

Much like Romney, Gordon has enamored himself with his good looks and finally reaching his potential last season. But some question his ability to sustain his success in the long-term. Gordon and Romney both sprang to the forefront in the past year and both seem to be the most popular amongst the Republican Party and Royals fan base.

Newt Gingrich is Blake Wood - Both have the amazing ability to throw gasoline on easily manageable situations.

Barack Obama is Luke Hochevar - The darlings of 2008, both showed signs of promise early on. But somewhere along the way, they crumbled. Much like Barack Obama fights congress to reduce the budget or pass Obamacare, Luke Hochevar fights control and consistency in the middle innings. But every once in awhile, they'll throw an 80-pitch, three-hitter or kill Osama bin laden.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

It's finally over. According to your record books, we "win" the overall series 56-55-6. According to our record books, we still win 57-54-6.

And that is why I'll miss this rivalry. We simply don't understand or agree with one another.

You don't understand why we hate you so much. Hating Kansas is a tradition at Mizzou. It's a tradition at Mizzou as much as Homecoming, the columns, journalism, "MIZ-ZOU", Harpo's and the Missouri Waltz. It's something you couldn't and probably never will understand. We've always wanted you to reciprocate the hate as much as we did, but usually just turned your nose up at our hatred and referenced your illustrious basketball past.

I'm going to miss you, Kansas football. No doubt about it. Losing to you was awful. I don't think I ever hurt as bad as I did after Kerry Meier was left wide open with 28 seconds left in 2008. I don't think I'll ever be happier than when we beat you in 2007 in the biggest KC sporting event since the 1985 World Series.

The thing that sucks is that this football rivalry was just recently ignited and actually meant something for the first time in a long time...but Turner Gill ruined that.

It's not you, Kansas. It's the Big 12. Despite what the experts and ESPN say, Tobacco Road and Michigan-Ohio State can't hold a candle to this kind of hatred. I wish like hell you could come with us. I really do. There really is no Mizzou without Kansas. Our sole existence some years is whether or not we beat you.

So whether or not you see this as 56-55-6 or 57-54-6, no one wins. Faceless curators are deciding that this rivalry isn't going to go on and we suffer.

We'll never see another Armageddon at Arrowhead or perhaps a KU/Mizzou Big 12 championship game at Sprint Center.

We might see you in a bowl game or NCAA tournament down the road...and if we do, fuck you, you pretentious bastards.

Cheers to 120 years of a great rivalry. I'll always hate you and miss you.