kourtney and khloe take miami

It's long been an article of faith, at least among TV watchdog groups, that scripted TV dramas show too much violence to impressionable children. But what about reality programs, which seem to be showing an increasing amount of violence that's not make-believe?

"You should learn how to support yourself so that you can take care of us," says Kourtney. He replies, "Have I ever been cheap with anything?" She says, "It's not about being cheap ... You need to, like, pay bills so that you know that you can."

"I don't need to get used to paying nonsense bills if somebody [else] can do it," says Scott. She then calls him an a-hole, and says he's not listening. He starts texting. Ah, such a winner.

And yes, as you may have guessed from all of this, Scott has a slight problem with alcohol. Now, on the current episode, Kourtney's mom Kris decides to come in and take care of things. Yay! Kris is on the case! We're all saved! ... Right?

Oh, no, of course not. Instead, we get to experience a sort of "awful-off" between Kris and Scott. It's the mom who let her daughters appear on a skanky reality TV show, versus Mr. Drunk Guy. Who will win?

While Kim was looking after Kourtney's son Mason, Kourtney tried to get Scott out of bed. He cursed at her and started throwing things around the room.

After the sisters left the house, Scott went into the bathroom and punched a mirror, badly cutting his hand. Somehow that was supposed to make things better...?

Later on the phone to Kourtney, Scott said, "I realize if I don't figure this out and stop drinking, I've got nothing left in life." Kourtney wasn't convinced by his revelation. She replied, "I can't do this [beep] anymore ... I love Mason more than I love you."

I'm not quite sure who Kourtney and Khloe are, but I do know what Miami is, and it looks like they have taken it. In this clip from the show (Sundays at 10PM ET on E!), we see that Scott might have a problem of some sort. The "beginnings of doubt" refers to his partying and the several bottles of liquid refreshment found scattered around the rooftop.

Maybe they could do a crossover episode with 'Burn Notice' and have the girls go up against Michael Sam, and Fiona?

Next thing you know on 'Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami' (Sun., 10PM ET on E!), Jacqui tells temp-boss Kim that fellow employee Katy had an STD scare. (A red bump was just an ingrown hair. Thanks for the TMI.)

At this, Katy goes ballistic. Jacqui defends herself, saying, "You were late for work. I was like trying to beat around the bush [no pun intended, we assume] for as long as possible."

"I have the paramedics calling me -- telling me that Kourtney passed out, she's in the back of an ambulance." Khloé arrives to find her sister hooked up to an IV.

"I was just running down the beach, like I always have been lately," explains Kourtney, though she confesses to the paramedic that she hasn't eaten anything that day. Khloé also reveals, "She hasn't been eating a whole lot at all lately."

After she's sent home and ordered to rest and eat, Kourtney admits her strenuous diet/exercise regime is "just not worth it."

What would you do if you found your girlfriend in a hot tub, having drinks with a girl that she had once made out with? Would you be pleased? Displeased? Would you turn around and walk away? Or would you rip off all your clothes and demand that both girls instantly perform oral sex on you?

Scott arrives at the hot tub to find Kourtney hanging out with Jackie, a bisexual friend of hers who she once kissed. This makes Scott jealous, so naturally, he comes up with the worst plan of all time. "I wasn't born yesterday," he says, after seeing the two girls in the pool. "And if they're trying to pull a fast one on me -- trust me, I will pull one right back, twice as bad."

Twice as bad is a major understatement, since nothing could be worse -- or dumber -- then what Scott tries next. He goes inside, then comes back out to the hot tub while wearing only a robe. Then, he rips his robe off, exposing his horrifyingly naked body. "Get to work, lovely ladies!" he says, while jutting his, um, private parts out over the pool.

The plan is to show the couple as they deal with getting settled in their new home, Khloe's attempts to be a stepmother to Lamar's children and Khloe and Lamar's efforts to have a baby.

Look, we all enjoy a little Kardashian kookiness, whether it's Kourtney's crazy relationship with Scott, Kim's heartbreaking split with Reggie Bush, Kris's constant screw ups -- even Bruce's colonoscopy! This family has been fun to watch, but there is such a thing as too much Kardashian and E! could do us all of a favor by turning off the spinoff machine.

The more Khloe Kardashian learns about the traits of sociopaths, the more it seems Scott Disick -- sister Kourtney's baby daddy -- fits the bill. On 'Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami' (Sun., 10PM ET on E!), Khloe's doctor tells her that, unlike a serial killer, a sociopath is "the bright guy, the one who's wearing the great clothes." Check.

She goes on to describe a "charismatic" and "very charming" person who will often "pick a vulnerable individual [to target] ... The person generally doesn't recognize it's happening." Check and check.

"I know Scott's not gonna go out and kill a bunch of people," says Khloe, "but it's so much fun to push his buttons and watch him squirm." And push his buttons she most certainly does.

We're going to a place that we may not want to go to on 'Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami' (Sun., 10PM ET on E!). And by the way -- OH GOD, NO, DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO. THIS IS DISGUSTING!

Anyway. Ahem. Where were we? Khloé Kardashian is concerned about her new husband Lamar Odom seeing her without her private parts looking totally pristine. So she employs sister Kourtney to give her a truly horrifying bikini wax. It hurts, as bikini waxes will, but it's made still grosser by the fact that a pair of siblings are doing it.

"Lie on all fours," Kourtney says, while preparing to rip hairs out of Khloé's very private area. And really -- we can't say too much more after that.

Kourtney wasn't too pleased with Khloe during a nude photoshoot for their store. Apparently, Khloe was hungover and she didn't take too kindly to Kourtney's words and called her a "hypocrite." Lots of f-bombs flew before the photographer got involved.

"I'm listening to you and then I hear her side comments, and it's like I get we've been here all day, but she's just being rude," Khloe said. "I'm doing it, I have a smile on my face, I'm f---ing naked right now and I'm fat as f---. Are you really for real?"

After a weekend fraught with particularly frightening news -- massive earthquake, tsunami warnings, snowicane (!) -- the E! Network Monday helped to assure us that all is right with the world with news thatKourtney and Khloe Kardashain will, in fact, take Miami for a second season, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Yes folks, lest you were losing any sleep over the thought that -- gasp -- those wacky Kardashians might slip into anonymity after last week's season finale of 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' attracted a record number of viewers to E! (4.8 million, in fact), you can breathe easy.

According to Lisa Berger, Executive Vice President of Original Programming at E!, "This time it's a whole different world as the pair must embrace their new life roles and juggle their hectic careers as they head back to South Beach where fun always follows." Oh, yeah, and sister Kim is slated to appear.

It's getting harder and harder to keep up with the Kardashians. I know - why bother, right? But that krazy klan does keep me company while I work into the wee hours.

But when I heard that Khloe and her beau, Los Angeles Lakers star Lamar Odom, were getting married after just one month of seeing each other, all I could think was, really? And the kicker is that Khloe is all huffy over Kourtney getting back with her baby daddy Scott (at this writing anyway), and here she herself goes and gets hitched after knowing the guy for only one month.

Now E! is planning on airing their wedding in a special, hour-long episode of the family's reality show, titled "Keeping Up With the Kardashians: The Wedding." The pair were married earlier this week; the episode will air in November.

How long do you think the marriage will last? I say they'll split up before the the wedding airs.