I hope you all enjoyed the End of the World Tour Finals in London which ended Sunday evening.

This is a welcome time of year where I can have a little time off and look forward to some relaxings. I am playing an exhibition soon. When a staff member told me it was in Rio de Janeiro I advised that I can’t play that month as that is when the Australian Open is. Anyway, they rescheduled and I am very excited to travel to Rio so am busy doing the brush ups on My Italian.

I recently announced that I would like the courts (tennis) to be faster. There is a very viscus rumour doing the travellings that I am saying this for personal gain. A small bird told Me that some people think that Paul Anaconda is doing the same with Me as he did with Pistol Peter, that is, maximise My career by shortening the points as I cannot run the way I used to. This is a lie and also it is not true. Allow Me to set the record straight.

I would like to say that as well as playing tennis I am also a tennis fan. I have lots of DVDs of Myself and watch them regularly. So we can say I am a fan, just like you. Well, not quite like you, but you know what I mean. So I know what fans want. There is nothing that brings them to the edge of their seats more than watching Ace after Ace. Or, when I am receiving, 2 shot games. This makes the crescendo with the tension and builds the excitement leading to a release of rapture. Who wants to see a 20 shot rally when the last shot is a shankings? That is just hitting the ball backwards and forwards and it means I have to do a lot of the runnings. Inappropriate. And anyway, I have a very busy life now with things to do. I can’t spend 5 hours on a court any more. I am able to, I just don’t want to, and you can’t make Me.

Please do try and enjoy yourselves in the next few weeks. If you can, come see Me in Brasil for the exhibition matches. If not, I am excited about going to see My great friends in the Down Under in January. Good Day My mates!