Everyone has a story. We came here to Planet Earth to have one. It’s what we’re supposed to do because we were created to be story-tellers. Our story about who we are is often, a mind-made and unhappy story – even though we did arrive here with our true identity tucked safely inside awaiting the moment of recovery.

In the meantime, we take on the stories about us, told by elders and authority figures, of who they think we are – and , well … we believe them! And that’s all it takes for us to assume that the role assigned us by a parent, a teacher, an older sibling, or grandparent is true. Why sometimes the very family system itself, without any particular person saying so, assigns us an artificial definition of who we are, that we, often blindly, take on as true!

And none of this is “bad” or “wrong.” After all we are here to try on various versions of ourself and then observe the results. Much like a scientist in his laboratory, our mind is constantly testing our hypotheses about who we are in this laboratory of life to determine what fits and what doesn’t. And it works amazingly, especially when we can consciously engage in the experiment … but it becomes VERY painful indeed when we mistake the story we’re playing for who we are, in fact.

Like any skilled performer, we take on a character and become it. We dress like that person, we act like them, we speak and respond to life as if we were them, and it seems bound to happen sooner or later, that we get completely enmeshed in the role, forgetting who we really are altogether! And if the truth be told. most of us don’t even know we have a choice! We simply take on a role assigned to us through messages we internalized as a child and feel and act that part into becoming our own personal version of Reality.

So who are we REALLY?

In Reality, there is a TRUE story about who we are. We call this self the Higher Self, or the Bigger Story. When we are in our true nature, we remember that we are NOT the unhappy story we’ve made up based on others judgments and opinions. When we are operating out of our True Selves, we KNOW we have a choice about what character and story we want to play out. We know we are free to choose what story we want to invest belief in, and we choose consciously, instead of unconsciously creating the painful version we’ve used before to define us.

We tell our children that they are created by Goodness … with a specific purpose in mind. Like the master pot-thrower, who throws every pot for a reason – each to perform a particular task, like making a cup for tea, a vase for flowers, or a bowl for rice, we too are individually and uniquely tailored for a specific task. And it’s always FOR us. This Goodness that creates us not only loves us, as its creation, but guides, provides for and protects us. Remembering this simple profound truth helps us distinguish who we think we are from who we are in Reality.

And we are also given freedom to CHOOSE what sort of character we want to experience in life. Done with consciousness, this is always a teaching opportunity that brings great wisdom and insight … and because we are consciously participating in it, we can remain fluid – returning to the memory of who we are anytime we get too caught up in the illusion of a story that is just that … a story.

Each of the three roles on the victim triangle teach a particular lesson that, once learned, becomes the gift of that role on the Observer Triangle.

The victim, for instance, teaches surrender and humility through powerlessness. Learning when we are truly powerless is part of what it is to come alignment with Reality. The Victim transformed becomes the Observer who knows how to surrender their personal will to Source.

The Persecutor on the triangle teaches about boundaries. In true learning fashion we bounce from boundariless-ness (if there is such a word!) to walls where we are totally locked in even as we lock others out. On the Observer Triangle the persecutor/bully becomes a respectful leader (Bully’s are generally misguided leaders).

The third role, the Rescuer offers us the gift of authentic service. through rescuing we learn how to separate our need for approval from being a true server or conduit for Source. On the Observer triangle, we refer to the transformed Rescuer as an Empowering Friend – one who does not see others as needing a rescue but trusts their process, no matter how painful it may be to be what they need to do.

When you find yourself on the victim triangle, look for the opportunity to transform that victim role into it’s gift instead.

We all have belief systems that are based on an often inherited lineage of beliefs that run in our family and comes down to us through our DNA. Uncovering these belief systems without needing to fix, eradicate, deny, or judge them even, allows us to bring them to consciousness. It is the act of shining the relentless light of consciousness on these belief systems that refines us. Below is a description of my own belief system, parts of which, I dare say, you may well recognize and relate to … but that’s just my guess … 😉

“I Am Bad”: A Sample Belief System

I found the “I am bad seed” within me today. It was buried beneath layers of smurky darkness, gathered into a single knot. I pinpointed it at its’ very start – there where it dominates over my heart.

It said: “I committed some unforgivable wrong, which completely taints and covers my creative song. I am punished, and deserve to be. With nowhere to belong and no place to hide, I stand rejected, and left behind. I am deserted, but nothing more do I deserve. Thoughts of forgiveness are absurd, because I am to blame. It is my fault and I will not receive anything good or right. I can never have what I want, because I blew it before I was even born. I don’t remember what I did, or why, that part remains unclear … but this I fear, and surely know; I have done the thing that cannot be forgiven, and deserve to die. It’s truly only Universal Compassion that allows me to abide.”

“I’m bad” along with all the thought bubbles that go with it, swirl round in my head, saying things like, “I”m ruined, and in deep despair … I’m forever damaged and unforgivable, but how can I say it’s unfair? It is after all my fault, There is no hope for me, and though I may deserve to die I am not ready! I will to LIVE! Woe on me for failing to accept my just punishment for the failure I am. But I cannot help it, nor put aside my desire to live, to love, to find respite – and to me, believing thusly, this line of thinking further proves my inferiority – more evidence I must hide. What will it take for me to swallow my pride – to confess my wrong, and pay the price?” It is too much for me … I cannot do it … I refuse. See how rebellious, how I insist on my wrong doing. I am bad to the bone.”

“So then … never mind how unlovable I am, how unforgiven; never mind how rejected, or undeserving, in spite of being forever unforgivable and deserving of suffering., I will do what I must to survive – even it if means I must be as bad as ‘they’ say (who they are I cannot name, only a lasting impression that I stand condemned …), so I will rudely push them away – I am hell-bent to keep the world at bay. They don’t want to be with me anyway. I’ll give them one chance to love me anyway … to debunk my thesis … I will put them to the test. Will they split or will they last? Their reaction will tell me all that I need to know”; but in the end it only reinforces everything I have come to believe … about the bad, sinful me.”

The only thing it really shows is how I set you up to help me to verify the lie I unwittingly believe. It’s an unhappy lie I committed my life to believing a long time back, before I knew the truth, before I had the facts. It’s the way I have perhaps always believed. I’ve never challenged it, I’ve never asked “why?” It’s been my number one priority – my single pointed, mind-made Reality, and that which I have firmly believed … a pack of lies from which I have never strayed.

What I describe here is a belief system, and nothing more. Though it rules our whole life by way of the mind – it’s not a bad thing, it’s not a crime. Every single person has one … and that’s by design. These belief systems are what we’ve come to Planet Earth to live out. We play them out in form, and then blame others, even to all of mankind, for the storm we create and live amidst. We persist in believing that it’s happening outside of us, when, in Reality, it’s clear to all who can see, that it’s a web of lies we’ve committed to believing into physicality. We remain committed to the crazy past, and replay it yet again, as if we don’t understand …. as if we are victims who played no part … when we both know, that it was what we expected and believed right from the vert start.

This production to which we are so deeply rooted consists of an unconsciously chosen cast, each hand-picked to play their part. We hand them their role; we ask them to memorize every line, and to say it right on cue, every time. And because they love us, they do … even though the lines we give them often cut to our very core and prompt us to turn away. We justify our innocence and turn on them instead, and blame them for the roles we unwittingly asked them to play. After all, they were simply playing their part. Why now then do we accuse them of having no heart?

Whatever your “Bad Seed” drama is about, from the evidence you gather you will prove beyond a doubt, that you are as wrong, as lacking, as unlovable as you fear. Once again your evidence will point the finger to say, “It’s because you are wrong, less than, or just plain bad beyond repair; you therefore do not deserve to be loved …” What will you decide to do then? Will you drive people away, and then blame them for leaving, thinking this is the only way to be safe, without having to compromise your investment in the the lie you committed to so long ago – the lie from which you have refused to stray, no matter how many others you have betrayed, no matter how bad it hurts to go on believing,

It’s as if we marry and remain forever loyal to an exceedingly unhappy way of seeing ourselves, and I think we must do so until such a time when we aim, from a happier place, to tap into an inner space from where sings a happier tune. Although perhaps barely audible, the healing tune hums unabated with a quiet certainty within the heart and mind, beneath the ruthless, much louder chatter … But we must listen … shhhh…. listen NOW for that deeper, more true, inner song … let it replace the other – let the lies be the wrong you surrender to a greater cause …. Let the seed of light that flickers within burst through the dark rich soil and reach for daylight; it’s a new song about a new beginning! Tend this new song well … feed it with care … water it with gratitude and watch it send its shoots to the sky.

I like to think of challenging times as being like grueling workouts designed to strengthen the spiritual muscles. As much as these times try us, they are FOR us. Way beyond words, I see Life and all it brings as opportunities for refinement. Seen from that perspective, there is no such thing as seeing a problem in the face of encountering challenges along the way. Life may be difficult … challenging … or extremely painful … however, pain does NOT necessarily mean that something is wrong. Often pain indicates growth and expansion …

Self-inflicted suffering comes from holding on to some intensely painful beliefs that spiral quickly downward into misery making reactions.

Here a list of some common beliefs that holds us in Victim Consciousness:

“Things are not the way they should be” – this belief is universal and the root cause of most human suffering. Believing this thought causes us to fixate on problems instead of what we have that is working. Of course, what follows on the heels of this belief is the need to control, deny, or attack the thing ( or person) we think should be different.

“There is no support for me” – believing this causes us to turn our backs on the Universal Support that is always available and leaves us feeling bereft, alone, abandoned, and fearful for the future.

“They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with the horrible things they do.” This one is a belief that causes us to react with acts of vindication (which is simply revenge justified) instead of seeing the law of Reality that recognizes that injustices are performed by those who believe their own unhappy thinking about the way life should be. Their reactions are an unabashed attempt to manipulate things. (Oh, they are just like us!)

“These things shouldn’t have happened to me.” – believing this leads to the inability to realize that there is no such thing as coincidence … that there is not a single thing that has happened to you that has not been essential for your life purpose and growth.

Notice all the shoulds in the list above. I like to think of “Shouldville” as the hometown of the victim ego. Shoulds are a reaction that only causes resistance to Reality (a sure-fire way to guarantee misery). Peace never comes from the demand that things be different than the way they are. Reality does not recognize “should” – it simply and relentlessly reflects the belief being projected, and never the ideal.

A question I have explored for years, personally and professionally, is this: do feelings come from thoughts or do thoughts come from feelings? Or does it work both ways, with thoughts and feelings both prompting a response from the other?

An online friend wrote and put forth the widely upheld argument that thoughts come from feelings. He said, “You (may) … feel an intense surge of depression or you (might) begin to laugh – these states are not caused by thinking they are emotional communications that override any thoughts.”

For a long time I shared a similar logic. I agreed with such evidence as my friend presented when he said, “You see a spider/snake/lion and you feel fear – instantly – there is no thinking about it.”

That sort of logic made sense to me for a long time.

In more recent years, however, my thinking has shifted. As a result of experimenting with the idea that feelings cause our thoughts, I have concluded the opposite; it is thoughts that determine our feelings.

In John 1:1 we read, “In the beginning was the Word.” What is a word, if not spoken thought? In the beginning there is thought, which is the mental energy that generates an electromagnetic energy field that makes all manifestation possible. In other words, thought creates the energetic pattern, or basic structure that brings the thought into form. Thought comes first.

Here’s how it works:

We adopt a set of beliefs from the thoughts we think. These beliefs coalesce into a story about life (And believe me, we have stories about everything!). For example: we may have a story that spiders/snakes/lions are dangerous. Perhaps that story comes from s program we saw on TV about a lions attack, or perhaps we once saw our dad kill a rattlesnake, or maybe we remember hearing our mother scream when she saw a spider once and, as a result, we have a story in our minds about that particular animal being dangerous. Of course, if, and when we encounter that animal our story about it is triggered in our memory, and we react accordingly. This all happens automatically according to the following formula: Thoughts believed generate feelings that prompt behavior. WE DON’T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT. The energetic imprint is already in place!

Actually, we now know that this thought/feeling imprint becomes a neural pathway in the brain! After all, what is a neural pathway, but the process of thinking the same old thoughts, feeling the same old feelings, and reacting in the same old ways, over and over again? This repetition creates a literal “wrinkle” in our brain that becomes our default position: one that can be triggered at any point in the neural loop.

Any outside event, like smelling a particular scent, or seeing something familiar, or the way something feels, can trigger the neural loop and off we go into our deeply embedded “core” pattern of thinking, feeling, and reacting, which produces the same predictable outcome every time. It is an automatic happening.

What’s more, in recent times, Epigenetics has discovered that our genes change according to our thoughts! This implies that our DNA is capable of being changed. Uploaded with new information, our genes re-inform our DNA, and suddenly we are completely changed – from the inside out! This finding also implies that our belief system is contained within our DNA and is passed on to our lineage. So when we clear our beliefs, we change our DNA which, in turn changes future generations.

It has even been conjectured that, because the DNA is timeless … changes in its structure not only affect future generations but also members of our bloodline already born! Clearing our beliefs then becomes the way we “cleanse our bloodline” from destructive beliefs and replace them with more life-giving ones instead.

I believe that the mind is the creator – always. The first by-product of the mind is thought, When the thought becomes a belief, it sets up an emotional energy field that informs our behavior. (Think of the mind as a generator that cranks out emotional energy in the form of feelings.) When we encounter someone/something that triggers one of our stories or beliefs, we automatically feel the feelings that go with that story/belief and we behave accordingly.

References:

“Why Your DNA May Not Be Your Destiny”: http://www.livescience.com/37135-dna-epigenetics-disease-research.html

“Falling For This Myth Could Give You Cancer“: by Dr. Mercola: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/04/11/epigenetic-vs-determinism.aspx