12/20/2013

Meanwhile, in Bizarro America...

Meanwhile, in Bizarro America...:
Every once in a while, it's good to get a gut check straight from the filthy heart of the torpid freaks who shit themselves and call it freedom. Today, in an editorial in the New York Times, Jenny Beth Martin, the co-founder of the Tea Party Patriots, provides us with a bounty of nutsiness. It's like putting on glasses and seeing clown cars where there should be traffic. The gist of the whole can be explained in a grunt: "John Boehner bad; he mean to crazies."

Here's three choice morsels of insight (if by "insight," you mean, "the kind of devolved, completely selfish thinking you see in masturbating bonobos"):

- "There's a political axiom that says if nobody is upset with what you’re doing, you’re not doing your job. We’ve seen this proved time and again in the liberal attacks on conservatives like Sarah Palin and Dr. Benjamin Carson, who provide principled examples to women and minorities and are savaged by the left for doing that job so well." You can pretty much stop reading the editorial right there. Martin may as well have started by saying, "Punch yourself in the face repeatedly or we're gonna kill a bunch of kittens."

- "The job of Tea Party groups and other conservatives is pretty simple: to inform Americans about the need for restraint in spending, tax relief, pro-growth economic policies and individual liberty — and to support the men and women who pledge to promote these positions." And remember: individual liberty means being free to hate and discriminate against anyone you wish because Jesus.

- "[W]hen those who voted for them criticize their elected officials for not keeping their promises, and are then attacked for doing so, it suggests that Kurt Vonnegut was right in observing, 'A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.'"

You know, it'd be very easy to go on a rant about how Vonnegut would despise every molecule of the Tea Party. Martin should probably read more of his work than just what she can find on Wikiquotes. It'd melt her eyes.

Instead, let's let the man himself take care of it (from God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater):

"Thus did a handful of rapacious citizens come to control all that was worth controlling in America. Thus was the savage and stupid and entirely inappropriate and unnecessary and humorless American class system created. Honest, industrious, peaceful citizens were classed as bloodsuckers, if they asked to be paid a living wage. And they saw that praise was reserved henceforth for those who devised means of getting paid enormously for committing crimes against which no laws had been passed. Thus the American dream turned belly up, turned green, bobbed to the scummy surface of cupidity unlimited, filled with gas, went bang in the noonday sun."

And, finally, just for the Tea Party Patriots, another Vonnegut quote on madness (from Mother Night):

"All people are insane. They will do anything at any time, and God help anybody who looks for reasons"