A new Apple patent has been uncovered, and this one has nothing to do with music, smartphones, computers, or TV sets. It’s part of a market where Apple has virtually no footprint (pun intended) — the shoe business. Apple engineers have apparently come to the conclusion that people need a shoe that can tell them when it’s too old and beat up.

For most consumers, there’s a more powerful machine that can already do this. It’s called the human body. It’s pretty easy to see when a shoe has reached the point of critical mass, and your feet already do a pretty good job of telling you when that support level just isn’t there anymore.

Nevertheless, Apple found a use for technology where one doesn’t currently exist, and because it’s Apple, that is enough of a reason to file for a patent. The patent is comprised of an in-shoe detector, a processor that can collect data from the detector, an algorithm to use on the data, and some sort of “alarm” system for alerting the shoe’s owner when it is no longer capable of providing the necessary support.

A shoe could, for example, have a defined life span of 500 hours. The technology in the shoe will be able to detect when it is actually being worn, and after 500 hours of use it signals the alarm. It could also be based on pressure sensors, accelerometers, etc. Apple isn’t necessarily defining how you determine when a shoe is done for; it’s just pioneering a system that can convey that information to the user. In essence, this is a shoe that will quite literally scream at you to buy new shows.

The patent actually references the use of a speaker system, presumably so your sneakers will embarrass you until you cave in and go out to buy another pair of shoes. It also mentions LED lighting or a visual display.