Forget the lilies of the field – consider the paper clip

How much thought have you given in this lifetime to the simple paper clip? Not much, I’d wager, unless it was “Why can’t I find a paper clip when I need one?”

But you should, maybe. According to Slate, the paper clip is a perfect, perfectly unchanged 19th century invention that still holds up and still holds papers together.

Most everyday objects—like the key, or the book, or the phone—evolve over time in incremental ways, and the 20th century in particular revolutionized, streamlined, or technologized the vast majority of the things you hold in your hand over the course of an average day. But if you could step into an office in 1895—walking past horse-drawn buses and rows of wooden telephone switchboard cabinets—you might find a perfectly recognizable, shiny silver paper clip sitting on a desk. What was then a brand-new technology is now, well over a century later, likely to be in the same place, ready to perform the same tasks. Why did the paper clip find its form so quickly, and why has it stuck with us for so long?

Here’s the way I look at it: The paper clip is your friend. The staple is your enemy. A paper clip slips off and back on. A staple tears a sheet as it is removed, unless you use one of those ridiculous fanged objects that takes the staple out. Which is just stupid.

Also the enemy? Those stupid black chip-clip things that became the office-supply rage anumber of years ago. Maybe they’re better on big reports, but here’s a clue: Don’t write big reports. No one likes them: That’s why the executive summary was invented — so the boss never has to read a big report even if you do. So don’t let the existence of the invidious black chip clip spur you on. If a paper clip can’t hold your deathless prose, there’s too much prose.

A paper clip does more than hold paper. Deftly applied, it can pull together a gaping wrap- dress neckline or control a flapping belt-end. (Not that I personally would ever do either of those thinks. Nope.)

And it, like the postage stamp, is a perfectly acceptable form of office currency. If your cubiclemate hands you a needed paper clip, it’s a little bond, a little acknowledgment that the bastards make keep us down, but we can be just a little kind to one another.

Please don’t tell us that you were a journalism major. That’s assuming you are even a college graduate, since you are working for a major newspaper. Actually, you couldn’t even pass basic high school courses in news,copy or headline writing, editing, proofreading, research or reporting. Glanced over some of your other “stories” – terrible and improper sentence stucture, wording, punctuation, misspellings, typos, and even a story categorized as journaliZm. An appalling lack of journalistic skills, knowledge or professionalism, and I just don’t get the point of your ramblings or your job at the Chronicle. Do yourself a favor and ask your bosses for a serious copy editor for your “work”. Also, a professional should never proofread their own work for common mistakes/typos, as your eyes just may not be working right after finally completing a story.

Hi, Don. This is the internet. These are not “articles.” These are blog posts. I know you’ve been in a spider hole since 1994 and you’re blinking at that shiny ball in the sky, but that doesn’t make you any less wrong. I counted three mistakes in your comment, by the way. You really shouldn’t play with toys you don’t understand, Donno.

I agree with those errors. I’d also say there are at least two more, but am open to correction.

The fourth sentence (below)needs a subject. Who glanced? I glanced.

“Glanced over some of your other “stories” – terrible and improper sentence stucture, wording, punctuation, misspellings, typos, and even a story categorized as journaliZm.”

The fifth sentence (below) is a fragmant as the first part of the sentence prior to the word “and” should be able to stand alone, but it has no subject or verb. I believe it should start with “You have” or something similar.

“An appalling lack of journalistic skills, knowledge or professionalism, and I just don’t get the point of your ramblings or your job at the Chronicle.”

It is possible that I made additional mistakes in what I wrote above, but the only reason I am pointing out Don’s mistakes is because he is a pompous jerk. Kyrie can be rather pompous as well, as can I, but at least we’re not jerks!

Unchanged? There are many variations on the paper clip today. There are triangular ones and square ones in addition to the traditional ovals. And they are now made from several different metals as well as colored plastic.

But the only change in the rubber band is the increase in available colors.

Paperclips are handy but for me a small Boston clip works best. Paperclips can snag, leave marks or discoloration over time. Boston clips are gentle and detach effortlessly. Pretty sure they’ve been around awhile, too.

I had a paper clip in my belt day before yesterday because the little metal thingy that hooks through the belt fell off and the belt kept sliding. I’ve used paperclips to reattach buttons and tape or staples to hem pants as well. I miss Liquid Paper. I could do a pretty darn good repair to a chipped French manicure with that stuff! I even once used rubber cement to stop a run. It didn’t work too well.

If I have to use a paperclip on documents, I prefer the smaller ones. However, I’d prefer not to use them at all because they have a tendency to pick up extra pages along the way, and when I try to slide a peperclipped document into a file folder that is in a tightly jammed file cabinet, they get caught on other papers in the file and won’t slide in. I then have to actually remove the folder, open it up to lay the document inside, close it, and then attempt to jam it back into place. I think every page should come with a spot of velcro or Post-It note type of sticky stuff in the upper left hand corner!

Wow indeed. I have just flashed back to my high school days in the 1960s and learning to type on a machine that had a black/red ribbon. Never used the red much. I haven’t thought of typewriter ribbons in years, but somehow that particular memory file never got overwritten to make space for, say, a memory of what I ate for lunch yesterday.

And as for paper clips: yes, a useful thing. On my desk (in a technology company) I keep one of those magnetic holders full of little bent wires always available for the purpose of clipping papers.

My sister once told me about a true event that happened at her office. Two men approached each other in a narrow hallway, each with a stack of paper-clipped pages. Somehow, the clips caught, pulling both stacks of paper onto the floor. One of the gentlemen immediately exclaimed, “Quick! Pour cold water on them!”

Deftly applied, it can pull together a gaping wrap- dress neckline or control a flapping belt-end. (Not that I personally would ever do either of those thinks.)

I thing you might. 😎

With the near-demise of typewriters, there has also been a decrease in “White out”/correction fluid (the latter appellation has always seemed a little risqué to me).

However, the most obvious piece of office equipment that has existed nigh-well unchanged since the dawn of time is the desk, followed closely by the chair. Sure, there are fancy-schmancy desks that you can spend thousands of dollars on, but the basic form – something flat held up at a convenient height for working on paper – has been around since the Romans tore Gaul into three easy pieces.

And who in 1895 would have thought how useful the paper-clip would be in the 21st century? (Uh, yeah, that’s rhetorical… no one!) They are perfect for ejecting a stuck CD/DVD, and are also perfect for pressing that recessed reset button on a large variety of electronic devices. So, it’s not just perfect, it’s future-proof! Gotta love that!