Seen here in an artist's rendition that we all could have done a better job Photoshopping ourselves, a new laser designed by BAE Systems is nearing commercial viability as a means of blinding pirates and preventing them from using their guns and rocket-launchers to attack ships. Wait wait wait -- blinding a bunch of guys already wearing eyepatches? Oh that's cold.

At distances of between 1.2km (0.75 miles) and 1.5km (0.85 miles), the laser beam acts as a warning signal, letting the pirates know they've been spotted, said Brian Hore of BAE.

"Today's pirates tend to be opportunistic. If they know they've been spotted, they're likely to look for an alternative target," he told BBC News.

At closer ranges, the green laser beam will dazzle them, making it difficult for the pirates to use weapons of their own, said Mr Hore.

Green lasers - which have been shown to interfere with eyesight - have been used by the US military in Iraq and to temporarily blind targets.

BWAHAHAHAHA! Your in-house "artist" didn't even get the color of the laser right! Why the hell are you even paying that guy?! "Because he's the boss's son." Oh. Ask him if he needs an assistant.

Thanks to Holloway, Eric, STARCHITECT and Peter, who were so excited to read a story about pirates and laserbeams they could barely contain themselves. Me too, guys. (I actually tooted reading your emails!)