I use these Bowflex adjustable dumbbells, and they’re a good bargain. It’s $300 on Amazon, although I did recently find it for $169 on a deal site.

I was hesitant to buy something from Bowflex at first because I had flashbacks of those ridiculous commercials from the ’90s.

“No money down!”

But these are actually good. I bought mine in 2007 and they’re still awesome. I use them mainly for working out shoulders, biceps, and sometimes lunges and squats (I mostly just run for my leg workouts).

To go an even cheaper route, invest in two pairs of dumbbells. One for shoulders and one for biceps.

I use 15lbs or 17.5 lbs for shoulders and 30lbs for biceps.

I recommend getting rubber hexagon shaped dumbbells. It’s safer and more comfortable to work out with.

Once you get all your gear, this could be you!

Actually, now that I think of it, I did look a lot like Goofy when I first started lifting weights.

At 17, I was a wiry 5’11”, 140lb shooting guard.

I had negative muscle.

I looked like an Asian Tayshaun Prince.

And I had no idea what to do in the weight room.

Luckily, life has a way of sending you the right people you need at the right time.

It just so happened that the new chemistry teacher at my small Catholic high school used to be a weightlifting coach for the Florida Gators football team.

I learned from the best, and now I can pass along my knowledge to you.

Rule #1: Always Use a Spotter

How I Learned the Hard Way

One day after school I went to work out in the weight room. It was chest day.

There was no one in there except the ENTIRE girls volleyball team and myself.

Luckily they were all doing sit-ups against the wall with their backs to me, so I wasn’t self-conscious about bench pressing my super impressive 25lb plates.

Hey, we all have to start somewhere. Even clowns.

Things started off well, but then went horribly, horribly wrong.

The first 7 reps were no problem. I powered through #8, and should have racked it up right there, but like an idiot I got greedy and cocky and went for one more rep. I watched in horror as the wobbling bar slowly started descending towards my neck.

I was out of juice and was certain I was going to choke myself to death.

I was faced with a difficult choice.

I could either scream to the girl’s volleyball team to come rescue me, or find another way out of this jam.

Actually, there was only one option.

You can’t ask someone to save your life if they’re dressed like this. That’s a rule.

So I had to do what anyone else would do in the situation– try to shake the weights off the bar.

In one desperate move, I shifted my momentum hard to the left. The 25lb plate jumped towards the edge until it finally fell off. Success!

I enjoyed 0.031 seconds of triumph before I realized that I was being thrown half way across the room due the sudden weight imbalance.

***CRASH***

I had to think of something quick before everyone turned around.

So I started curling the bar to save face.

“98!…99!…100!”

I think it worked, but it definitely wasn’t as smooth as this recovery.