Chocolate Banana - For Real!

Scientists at Cardiff University on the Stephen King Sponsored Genetics course have successfully cross-bred bananas and cacao the plant that gives us the most important of foodstuffs, chocolate.

"It's brilliant," said head professor of genetics, Jennifer Webber, who led the study. "Bananas are really really good for you, nutritious, that's the word. Banana's are really nutritious. But they taste absolutely foul! And they yucky shuddery when somebody eats one."

Webber has even more good news for the good people.

"And we've not had to genetically mudify anything," said Webber. "It turns out that the banana just LOVES to snaffle those little base pairs from other plants. Love it. It'll take them from anything. It's a whore of a plant! Haha."

Despite the ease with which bananas interbreed with any vegetation, it has taken some work.

"We've bred thousands of bananas," admitted Webber. "We've finally got the chocolate flavour banana. It's a massive breakthrough. Bigger than mudpacks and Botox. Seriously. This is big news. Food that is good for you but tastes of chocolate. How good is that?"

Webber is expecting several prizes starting with Nobel Cooking Prize, and a Pulitzer.

"We're going to have a big launch in a few weeks," said Webber. "Once we've ironed out a few problems. There's nothing wrong with the banana, that's gorgeous. Truly, truly gorgeous. No, it's bananaman. We accidentally discovered that bananas also cross-breed with animals. And one of the women working here, kind of used a banana, if you know what I mean."

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