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4.22.2013

I am so tired and I'm feeling a little sick. Midterms are starting in two days and I feel like I'm nowhere near ready. But flashcards are proving to be useful for the first time ever. I've been having problems with some people, and am trying really hard not to punch anyone in the face. But I'm happy it's not Koreans I'm having problems with. haha I still love it here, and the longer I stay, the more reason I have not to go back to Canada. I've been having dreams about my summer session in Gwangju. Really excited for that. I finally finished watching Big Love two days ago and I can't deal. Stupid idea to finish it so close to exams. I don't like pooping when someone is close by. Difficult one to deal with when living in such a small apartment . I want a dog. Been feeling lonely lately. I've been backing out of group things like they'd kill me. Just need one on one time with people.I really like seafood.My birthday is this Saturday, and I don't know what I want to do yet. Buddha's birthday is coming up. I'm finally going to do something related to my major. Also thinking of doing a temple stay soon.I miss watching Family Guy.I met someone from Mongolia yesterday and freaked out in front of him when he told me. haha I want to go there next.I really want to come back to Korea to do my Master's, but I can't see how that can happen without KGSP. Need to set my beliefs aside and marry rich so I can afford it.Been getting a lot of traffic to my blog lately and I'm really touched. I honestly appreciate everyone who takes the time to read the nonsense I post on here. I may not know you, but I take comfort in knowing that people actually care to listen to what I have to say. I don't usually get that feeling in person. Thank you. ❤

Got plenty of posts on the go, but no time to work on them. So sorry. I'll post again on Sunday, assuming I'd be in good condition after my birthday.

4.16.2013

Let me take a break from talking about my beloved PSY and get back to the 365 challenge posts that I'm still trying to catch up on...Day 50: Why you are doing this challenge?

I really don't know. I can't remember why I started it and now I don't want to continue cause so many useless and irrelevant questions. haha But I started and now I must push through.

Day 51: Describe your future wedding…

If I continue to be smart, there will be no wedding. But just in case, I've had a dress picked out from I was in grade ten. Don't know why though, cause if I did get married I would just go to city hall. No need to spend so much money on a dress that I'd only wear once.

Day 52: If you didn't have an age, how old would you think you were?

46. Older but not old. I'm always complaining about the state of our language and how the young ones are ruining it. >< Other than omg, lol, smh and gtfo I don't really know all these stupid abbreviations. Such a headache to learn them. I'm always going to urban dictionary cause I can't keep up. That being said, I don't use proper English on this blog. Never using proper paragraphs and frequently leaving the subject out of the sentence. At least I think it's called a subject. We don't really learn about grammar in Canada. I blame this one on learning Japanese. Subject is usually implied and makes life so simple, but it doesn't work well with English. So yeah, I'm old enough to be stubborn about the language changing. But if English didn't change, it would be dead. I'll live with it.

Also, I can't stay up all night anymore. This started when I was 20 and I thought that it was too soon. haha Makes me feel older for sure. I have a lot of older friends. Things like Katimavik or going on exchange made/makes me nervous cause there would obviously be a lot of young people. Young people who want to party. O.O What to do? How to connect with them.

Day 53: Your day, in great detail…

Well since I'm catching up on these posts, there's no way I can go back in time and remember what I was doing on February 22nd. I know I wasn't at work, and it's possible I was packing. Really don't know other than that, nothing's on my phone.

Oh!! Wait, I found out what I was saying on that day…

And about that last tweet that shows up as the first, Audrey replied me on twitter!! I remember how happy I was cause now all three of my favourite bloggers have replied now to me.

And the first four tweets (from bottom up) were done in a Second Cup. I was waiting meet my friend to get all dolled up for the upcoming MK Makeover Contest.

That's as much detail as you're going to get.

Day 54: Your definition of love…

Butter chicken

Day 55: A passage from a book that has touched you…

“I faced the gaudy sunflower on her canvas bag -- it looked hand-painted and at last my eyes fell into hers. I said, 'Thanks for the card.' Her smile put the sunflower to shame. She walked off.”

Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

I had to find something from the net cause I don't have any of my books with me. Stargirl is one of my favourite books of all time. Still must read Love, Stargirl, but I'm afraid it won't be as good. When I first read the book I wanted to be Stargirl. I still dream of having a pet rat. This desire was more enforced by the movie Willard. Don't mess with me man.

Day 56: Something you did as a child that other people remember you for…

You would have to ask people who knew me as a child.

Day 57: What is your definition of happiness?

Butter chicken

Day 58: Places you want to visit, and why…

Japan

So that three+ years of studying the language doesn't go to waste. Also to find Asano Tadanobu and Crystal Kay and have dinner with them both. But not at the same time cause I don't like group things. Let's make this happen.

Mongolia

Been a dream of mine for years, and who wouldn't want to visit the land of the biggest empire in human history? I wanna chill with the Nomads for a year. Learn the language. Learn how to put up and take down a ger. I want to know how to take care of animals.

India (maybe not any time soon)

Butter chicken. Seriously though, I've got some Indian blood running through my veins, so I guess it would be really cool to go. See where some of my ancestors came from. Eating Indian food and wearing saris every day. Plus I hear how it's so diverse landscape wise, culture wise too I'm sure. And it's the birthplace of Buddhism, so it'd be good to go there to learn more about it's history. Maybe I'll get to do some fieldwork there.

England

Tom Hiddleston. It really does all come back to him. Life ruiner. Anywho, I've got family over there. And my tumblr bff!! OMG!! I really want to meet her.

I only have one pair, and they're for the shower. Flip flops are stupid. I don't want to fuck up my feet.

Day 60: A YouTube video you absolutely love and describe why…

But seriously, y'all need to stop asking to touch my fucking hair.And let me just put the second one here too, cause wow, the relevance...

As for the why, they're painfully and hysterically accurate.

Day 61: One of your most prized possessions…My baby blanket. This thing goes everywhere with me. And when I travel, it's in my carry on. Sometimes I'm really paranoid that I'm going to lose it. Like wow, I feel like my life would be over. I'm kind of like DW from Arthur. Pretty sure she never washed hers. Ok, I wash mine, but rarely. I can't stress enough how rare it is. There was a time when I thought it was a health hazard. But it's aged so much and I'm scared it might fall apart in the wash. So now when I do wash it, it has to go into a pillow case and on gentle cycle. Wow. Good thing I don't want to get married, cause I just threw any chance I had out the window. lol

Day 62: How many keys are on your keyring?

No keys. My key is a card and I only have one.

Day 63: The song with the most number of plays on your iTunes…

Apparently Media Go doesn't keep a record of that and I haven't used iTunes in years so I won't go by that. Sorry

4.14.2013

Remember when I said that I wouldn't care about any negative reviews or comments aimed at the new song and video? I lied. I can't handle it.

Before I even get to the song and video reactions, I'll talk about the fools that were making comments during the show. Cause I think they're the ones who broke me down. I know the fools exist, but I honestly didn't think they'd actually take the time to sit and watch the concert of someone they don't care for. Like really you have nothing better to do with your time? The racism was rushing through their veins last night and I couldn't handle it. It's so unnecessary. And I don't even see the point, cause you say all these nasty things about someone and they'll probably never see. It's that person's fans that you're hurting. And I know some people just say to brush it off and don't mind them, but I can't. Not with PSY. He's one of my favourite entertainers of ever. While watching the show I was so overcome with emotion. Very overwhelming feeling, like I was witnessing something extremely special. And I believe I was. This must be what religious people feel like. That’s some strong emotions, cause look at the history of nearly every religion and what they've done when people don't agree with them. haha So that's how passionate I feel about PSY. That's why I can't just brush it off.

Still don't understand? I really love BIGBANG, but you can criticise them, and I’d think about it and come to the conclusion that there's always room for improvement. Or if you say something bad about them, I'd just walk away and curse you. But when people say something negative about PSY, I will cry. It’s like a knife to my heart. I cannot handle it. And I was stupid to think that I’d gain a thicker skin over this past year when he became world famous. This is why I always fear for him and worry about him. You'd think I'm in love with the man the way I'm going on about him. But I'll move on now.

About the video, it has been getting more positive views than I expected. I think I figured people would be too much on the sensitive side and take it too seriously. But I'm seeing a lot more good than bad, and this makes me happy. But when the comments aren't in PSY's favour they're usually really unnecessary. I've never liked a video that Beyoncé has done, but I have never gone out of my way to leave any comments on them. What’s the point? But this thinking isn't universal, so I must find a way to deal. People will forever say that PSY's trying too hard, and I'll never get it. Is it really that difficult to look up his old videos and see that this is what he does? Always at loss for words when I first see any of his videos. He’s not trying too hard. He’s just doing what he's always done. Then people comment on everything from his looks to his weight. This is really that important to you? His looks? What does that have to do with anything? It’s so annoying. And then again with the racism. It’s never ending with these people.

"Why don't you just stop reading the comments?"

Valid question. For a solid year I did, cause there wasn't anything happening in the music world that was worth me getting stressed over. Many artists I like released new music, but none of them as important to me. When PSY does something new I read the comments because from I first learned about him, they were positive. Unfortunately now that the world knows about him, he has attracted the attention of everyone, including the haters. Despite this, I still read on cause as I said before, there's more good than bad.

Kind of taken aback when the video started. You should have seen the confusion on my face. I wasn't prepared yet. I expected to see it with the rest of the world at 9, but we got it early. And at first I was like, 'What is this? Is this an introduction to the video? OMG!! Wait!! This is the video isn't it?" Most confusing 20 seconds of my life. So I'm calm now, and I'm having mixed emotions. First I'm crying and chocking on my own spit. The fart in the face. OMG!! But then I'm all, "But wait. Why are you bringing people back from the Gangnam Style MV?" I just didn't understand what was going on. But I'm sure I didn't understand what was going on in the GS MV when I first saw it, so I knew I need time. But I had no time cause we were taken back to the concert. He performs it live and I have to wait till after the show to fully process what I just witnessed.

I watch again after and came to the conclusion that this video is the lovechild of Nice Guys and Gangnam Style. Next conclusion is that the feminists aren't going to be happy. haha Whatever, they never are. And I just watch again and again, and keep laughing. I must go back and watch GS again cause now I don't know which one I like better.

These men at the beginning are awesome. Especially the one in the white suit posing in the back with his bags. Now that's special.

I won't even talk about the extras at the end…

And on to the dance. Before the song was even released, PSY mentioned that all Koreans will know the dance. And we also see shots from the video shoot and see that Ga-In from Brown Eyed Girls is in the video. So of course it'd be Abracadabra dance right? Some people KPop hipsters feel really special cause they can add two and two. But I'm not impressed and put this thought in the back of my head. I'd wait till it happens. Why wasn't I impressed? Abracadabra is an uneventful song and the dance is on the same level. So even after I hear Gentleman and picture the dance, I can't quite fit them together. I was worried this wouldn't work, and I wanted something fun. But I think, "At least the song is amazing."

When the video comes on, after all the shock and confusion, I get very impressed with the dance. PSY made it good. I don't care how long it's been around or how popular it is/was. I didn't care for it until I saw it paired with Gentleman. You know you're a genius when. So I guess that's where BED went wrong for me. It's not that the dance is bad, they just put the wrong song with it. But PSY brought it back.

I have a problem when it comes to keeping posts short, so I'll cheat and split this one up. And congratulations PSY on being the first person to get your their label on my blog.

Last night PSY had his show, Happening, at Seoul World Cup Stadium and I watched it on youtube. I laughed. I cried. And I danced. Right Now is the first song he performed. Can never get old. Also first song I ever heard from PSY. I fell in love with the song and him right away. I don’t what it is about this man, but to me, he is perfection. So talented and entertaining. I remember when I first watched It's Art, I said to myself, "One day I will be a dancer in a PSY concert." Ok, so I gave up on dance a while ago, so that changed to, "One day I will go to a PSY concert." I so regret not getting a ticket for this one, cause from what I hear they weren't that expensive. But w/e, I was sick anyways. But next time.

I didn't expect a lot from this concert. I know it's strange to say when talking about PSY, but I didn't realise it'd be a full concert, costume changes included. Haha I knew he'd be showing the "new" dance and the world be watching. But he was telling jokes, profusely thanking his fans and giving proper introductions to a lot of his songs. Buddy flew and everything. It was amazing. I was so happy with the show. And very happy that he performed my favourite songs from 'PSYFIVE', including It's Art. No shortage of tears over here. And then Lee Hi performing What Would Have Been with him was cool, although she looked a little awkward.

OHMYOHMY!!! I did not see this one coming. I was smiling from ear to ear. The perfection that is CL. I can't even with this woman. She's flawless, and the way she went on in the Can't Nobody performance. Golden. Good show. Since my Korean is still really terrible, I didn't know until after the fact that she said they'd be making their comeback soon. Excuse me while I empty my bladder, cause the excitement is too much.

GD

This I knew about cause YG tweeted it during the show. I already love this man but I now have a new respect for him. Any time you see GD dancing with BIGBANG, he’s usually being a lazy fucker. Just marking the movements or falling over himself case he’s a little too intense. And it sometimes gets frustrating cause you know he can dance, but Taeyang just takes it away and you accept that. But when this man is without BB, he shows everyone what he can do. I was so shocked, jaw dropped and everything. So impressed. It was beautiful, and at times I felt like I was watching Taeyang dancing. Thank you.

Out of the whole show, there was only one thing I wasn't happy about: Fantastic Baby. GD, you are one of my favourite rappers. Like top 5 along with PSY, Lupe Fiasco, Tablo and…. Ok top 4. Moving on. There are certain things you shouldn't do. Like performing a BIGBANG song without BIGBANG. I was actually upset about this one, but I'm on the road to forgiveness, cause you finished it off going back into Crayon. But why no 미치GO performance?

One comment on the Beyoncé tribute. When he announced on twitter that he’d be doing a tribute to her, I rolled my eyes and wondered why. Like who's Beyoncé I didn’t hit me that he'd do the Single Ladies dance, cause it’s nothing new. There's videos all over youtube of him doing it. So I actually wondered what he would do. haha So when I saw that it was Single Ladies I wasn't so annoyed cause I like his version better than the original. Straight face he can keep throughout. How? One thing I would have changed though. It would have been awesome if he wore Seo Woo's costume from his Right Now MV.

4.13.2013

I'll start this one with saying that I'm not upset with anyone when it comes to the following topic. I'm just frustrated with all the false views of Canada and frustrated at myself for not being able to communicate my thoughts in person. I'm good with words when written or typed. But in person, I can never seem to find the right way to express myself. So this post is not me lashing out or being bitter. I just want to explain.I am well aware of the privilege I have being born in Canada. I do realise how good I have it. And I am thankful. That being said, I'm very annoyed with this cookie cutter version of Canada that the world seems to have. "Everyone's so nice, it's beautiful, it so safe." Nice compared to where? Beautiful compared to where? Safe compared to where? (Ok, in the country it is really beautiful I must admit.)

Or, saying someone can't feel unsafe because there are more dangerous places out there is like saying someone can't feel safe because there are safer places out there.

I know we are not under constant threat of war. I don't have drug dealers standing on the corner of my street, not to say that doesn't happen in Canada. So yes, it might be safer than other countries, but not all. And it's certainly not the safest. Just because I don't have to worry about stepping on a landmine, doesn't mean I'm always going to feel safe. Please, let's not compare. I get very frustrated when people act like I don't know what I'm talking about. Like I'm blind to the problems of the world. I know there are problems in the world, but that doesn't negate the problems in Canada. It's not a perfect country. It's like saying to me "Well think about the hungry kids in Africa." ಠ_ಠ Seriously? Yes I know that there are hungry kids in Africa, but how about I think about the hungry kids in Canada first? (Because yes, there are hungry kids in Canada.) People are always so quick to push the bad stuff out, and usually to Africa. (I wonder why that is?) They make it seem like these problems are elsewhere. Ever heard of Davis Inlet? Pretty sure that happened in Canada. I really thought that it was only other Canadians who had this we're-so-great attitude. But no, we've fooled the world. We've fooled the world into thinking that the problems of the world exist outside of Canada, and as soon as someone makes a complaint, they're not very appreciative. That is not ok. Trying to make my feelings/lived experiences invalid is not ok. I'm a victim of a violent crime. I've witnessed a violent crime. I've faced racism. I've been in some pretty scary situations in my life. And these things have happened in Canada. So I'm not going to feel safe anymore. This is natural I think. And now I'm living in Korea, where it's statistically safer than Canada and I've felt it from the first day I arrived. I'm not saying I can't get hurt here or that I'll never have to deal with racism. I'm not naïve. But as it stands, Korea is looking a lot better than most places I've been in Canada.

There are probably loads of Canadians who feel 100% safe all the time. But I think it'd be safe to come to the conclusion that they've never been attacked or seen someone being attacked. I'm going to assume that they've never been chased down a street or seen some random act of extreme violence. (And if they have experienced any of this and still feel completely safe, they're really skilled at blocking things out.)

I have been to a country where I felt really unsafe, and so I obviously wanted to go back to Canada. haha But the stuff that happened in Canada cannot be erased and now I've experienced something better. So of course I'd want to stay here. Doesn't everyone want to feel safe? Am I really that bad of a person for wanting to walk outside of my house after sundown without fear of being hurt? Cause I can't do that where I've lived.

As for Canadians being nice, I'm from Toronto. haha Not many nice people there. But go to Steinbach, Chisasibi, or Quebec City, plenty of nice people from what I remember. But aren't there nice people everywhere? I'm sure there are some in Toronto, just not a concentrated amount, so it's difficult to find so far. But everywhere's got their meanies too. Like I've dealt with some pretty shitty attitudes, racist and otherwise, in St. John's and the longer I've spent there the more I debate becoming a resident. So to say that everyone's so nice is a huge exaggeration. Anywhere else I've been in Canada I hadn't been for more than a week so I cannot say.

4.12.2013

What a year it's been for PSY. Remember how excited I was when Gangnam Style came out? I think it was shock at first more than anything. haha I didn't even know he had anything on the go until after it happened. But I had time to prepare for Gentleman. I have to admit though; I wasn't as hyped about the arrival of this new song. I feel like there’s this huge expectation for the song to be bigger and better than Gangnam Style. Everybody's watching, and in case of bad feedback, I don't want to hear anything bad about PSY. lol It would break me. So I was more nervous about the reaction than the song itself.

Another reason why I wasn't hyped at first about this release is because I'm not the biggest fan of '6甲 Part 1', but I will forever love 'PSYFIVE'. So if the new single was going to continue in the direction of his latest album then it probably wouldn't be for me.

So with that said, I am proud to announce that I am a huge fan of Gentleman. I'm not worried about any bad reactions anymore, cause whatever, it's brilliant. The first time I listened to it my reaction was "Oh?" haha I don't know what I was expecting, but I didn't quite get it. It wasn't 'PSYFIVE' and it wasn't '6甲 Part 1'. It was different. So I listened to it again, and I think it clicked. Gentleman isn't for Gangnam Style fans, it is for PSY fans. Like wow. Thank you.

I've only been in Korea a month and a half, but there are two things I've noticed when in a club here. The music is different and the dancing is different. Well obviously right? But as I listened to the song for the second time, I thought "I could seriously see my friends dancing to this song in the club. They already have the moves." Later confirmed by PSY in an interview where he said that the dance for this song is one that every Korean knows. So KPop fans need not worry. This man knows what he's doing.

At the end of the day, I really like Gentleman and I honestly think it's better than Gangnam Style. But in terms of success of the song, I feel like it's impossible to be a bigger hit. I seriously can't wrap my head around the ides of anything being bigger than the catchy song with the horse dance.

4.09.2013

Everyone staying in Korea for longer than three months needs to get something called an Alien Registration Card. It's basically as important as your passport, and it allows you to make big purchases and get a phone (legally). Also proves that you're allowed to be in the country. And apparently it allows you to leave the country and come back in even if you only have a one time entry visa. Need to confirm this one before I make any solid plans. So you gotta guard this thing with your life.

I went with Daphne, Victor and Cédric (exchange) and Gyumi (*IFCC) after class. To apply for this card, you have to go to the immigration office closest to where you live, and this place was hot. Like 300+ sweaty bodies in an unairconed room kind of hot. Thankfully, we all had appointments, so we didn't have to wait for six hours which apparently some people do. Why though? You must get the card within 90 days of arriving. So why not just wait a little and set an appointment? w/e We got things sorted out quite easily thanks to Gyumi. If your Korean is very limited, I highly suggest you go with someone who can speak the language.

It was all pretty easy, except I had to go get more photos done. **Passport size photos in Canada are bigger than what actually show up in your passport, so the man did not except what I had. Got my new pictures, did my prints and got to keep my passport. We were told earlier that the office keeps your passport, but this might be another depending-on-which-office-you-go-to situation. Good for me too cause I hadn't opened my bank account yet.

After that we went to a café/bakery. Like a real French café kind of deal. Wow. This place was impressive. And massive.

Actually really big one for a café. There’s a whole other section behind me almost as big, and the kitchen was big too.

After that, we went for a bit of a walk until we ended up at a different subway entrance. Daphne and I weren't home for long before we headed out again for dinner with Cedric.

Amazing food as always. And spicy. Second time I had really spicy food in Korea. I think this had squid and kimchi in it. Can't remember what else.

Good conversation and bellies full. We headed home. It was a long day but a successful one.

*When I went to pick up my card, I ran into a Canadian studying at University of Seoul. The person he saw when he applied earlier accepted the Canadian passport size photo. So it just depends on who you see. Get the smaller ones just to be safe, cause the photo booth in the office costs 6000won. Mind you, it gives you six copies of the picture. But now I have five extras of ugly photos of myself that I'll never use.

**International Friendship and Culture Club This is the group of students that basically take care of the international students. Mostly exchange students cause the KGSP students are well taken care of.

4.05.2013

I am so sick of this I'm-not-going-to-make-any-effort-to-understand-Korean-culture attitude that I'm getting from other foreigners. In the past week I've heard such stupid excuses for this like:

“I'm not going to be here for that long.”

“There's too much to remember.”

“Tourism here is growing. Koreans need to learn English.”

WOW!!! The ignorance and stupidity of these comments. You really can't take the time to learn basic things?!

Hello, goodbye, thank you, I'm sorry, excuse me, can I please have blee blah blah? … These are all things you should learn if you travel to another country. And if you're really adventurous, learn how to ask for directions or how much something costs. Wow, so difficult apparently.

I get so annoyed when people go to Canada and literally make no effort to learn English. (French if you're living in a French area.) It's so rude. You can't walk into another country expecting everyone to drop everything and cater to you because you're to fucking lazy to learn a few phrases. Even to learn how to ask someone if they speak English in their language is better than expecting it from everyone.

I had one guy tell me he doesn't understand the way people address other people here. I think it was his roommate (Korean) who asked him his age and then called him his older brother when he got a reply. What's so difficult to understand here? You are older so you are seen as his older brother. You see and middle aged man or woman, you call them uncle or aunty respectively. This one is so difficult for you? **Korea is like one big family. But just because you call someone uncle, doesn't mean you are blood related. No one is implying this. It's just more respectful to call them that then by their first name. You don't just go on first name basis with someone you don't know. It's like calling someone sir or ma'am. Actually, it's quite the same. It just so happens that in Korean it translates to uncle and aunty. This you can easily learn on the internet. But no, you're too fucking ignorant and the world must cater to you.

And then you bring in the argument that you won't be here long enough to learn everything and truly understand Korean culture. No shit!! But that doesn't give you an excuse to make zero effort. You're just making yourself look like an ass. I don't care if you only here for a week. Learn how to say hello and thank really not that difficult. Three people I've got this disgusting attitude from this week alone. My teacher tells me I've made too many Korean friends and I need to make friends with more foreigners. Well no, I'm not going to go out of my way to be around such ignorance.

Another one didn't understand why Koreans didn't understand why she would be here and not learn any of the language. Really? You can't see why Koreans would be offended that you would come to their country and take a place in their classroom and not make any effort to learn their language? It's rude. How can you not see that?

Part of the reason to do an exchange program is for cultural exchange right? No one here is expecting you to know everything about their culture and speak the language fluently. But a little goes a long way. I thought this was a basic concept.

I remember two years ago when I was getting ready to go to Chisasibi, I kept saying that I'd do whatever the Cree people do if I have the chance. Cause you know, I was going to their land and it would be rude of me to barge in and expect my life to continue on normally. No. I had to adjust. Adjust to their sense of humor, sense of time and listening to their language all the time. Of course it's frustrating to not be able to understand what's being said all the time. BUT IT'S NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE LOCALS TO LEARN THE LANGUAGE OF THOSE VISITING!!! And if you think it is, you should probably just go back home.

So there's that. I have much love for those who are not in the Korean language and are still making the effort to learn about Korean culture, including the language. That’s how it should be done. If you want to live the same life you've always been living, go home.

**I actually find this amazing that many Koreans are so ready to accept foreigners to the point of calling us by these titles. I feel that much more welcome.