From Psalm 62:1-2, "My soul finds rest in God alone my salvation comes from him. He alone is my Rock and my salvation. He is my fortress I will never be shaken." I put this as the central theme of my blog to remind myself that the Lord is my Rock and my fortress, my only true place of Rest.

I am coming out of a season of deep grief. One than has been compounded and added to as the time has went on... I know this is vague, but right now this is still as detailed as I can be about it all.... (The wounds are still somewhat fresh and yet in all of it, I continue to pray for mercy for others. Go figure. I really didn't expect that.. but I know that love always protects-- I Cor. 13-- and so I will continue to protect... Oh Lord, I do pray you would bless those who have cursed me!)

I have been very contemplative for a while now. But really there are simple truths that have guided my life for quite some time and these simple truths still lead me onward.

As a committed and passionate follower of Jesus Christ I have made it my ambition to lead a quiet life and to follow the Lord wherever he desires for me to go. This hasn't always been easy, or... it's not always been something I have submitted to easily I guess I should say... but I can say one thing truly and sincerely-- living for Jesus is better than anything!

I've seen a lot of inauthentic Christianity in my (relatively) short life mixed in with true chances to see real live authentic Christianity in action (praise the Lord for these times!!!) and the past months have been no exception.... but it has all brought me to this place... this place where I truly know I would rather have Jesus than anything. Makes me think of that wonderful old hymn:

I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold.

I'd rather be his than have riches untold.

I'd rather have Jesus than worldwide fame.

I'd rather be true to his HOLY name....

I'd rather have Jesus than anything, this world affords today!

And so... I find myself ready. I know the Lord has huge plans for our life... and I understand that all of this... even this deep hurt and pain; truly like none I have felt so far in life until this point.... that truly all this is part of what we have needed to go through... to know what it means to truly rest in the Lord in all things... abandonment... lies... slander... Why not, Lord? Shall I not follow my Master in suffering as in everything else? Yes-- I trust you. Yes I trust your plans and your choice for the execution of those plans... YES... I trust you and ask for you to use all these things to bring me closer to you as you teach and guide me on this journey! I choose to live an authentic life before you! I choose to trust and depend upon you!

And so-- we're holding on to the things that are true. We're getting back to remembering that life isn't really so complicated afterall. Living this life will not mean an absence of pain... but that doesn't mean it is hard. Trusting the Lord to use all things for his good and glory truly isn't complicated but we have to stop and rest from our struggling and know that he is in control. His plans for us are good. His way for us is best. We have to stop making things so hard and just rest in him.

And I'm learning... something old yet new again: Resting in him is the best place to be.

3 comments:

I think I am slowly realizing that even as we get older and our life becomes more "settled" we are never really "there"- God is always working on us! This is awesome but at the same time painful because it requires being pruned and refined with fire.

I will pray for whatever it is you are going through that is bringing you grief. I am glad that you are relying on God as your refuge, that is the biggest thing He is teaching me these days.

angela:saw your comment on ann's post...came to encourage you, you are choosing well. i recognize the struggle and God speaks to me through your words...thank you for posting.praying for you,a sister in Christ

About Me

This favorite quote of mine by E. Elliot sums up a lot for me... "When we cry, 'Why Lord?' we should ask instead, 'Why not, Lord? Shall I not follow my Master in suffering as in everything else?'"
Knowing that life is full of difficulty, I still choose to believe in him who called me to himself... loved me and gave himself for ME. I am a passionate follower of Jesus Christ-- I truly know that he IS my everything.
I'm also a really blessed woman with a wonderful husband and sweet little daughter (our first child of... how many, we are not sure yet!)
Overall, I am a woman who is blessed to love the Lord more than my own life and I know that he will use my life for my good and his glory. There is a lot of beauty to be found in life amidst suffering and my response to the challenges I face is more important than the challenges themselves. I desire for him to be glorified in all that I say and do. I cling to him with all that I am.