Doc Brown’s 2009 MLS Playoffs Predictions

byThe YankonOctober 29, 2009

Great Scott! It’s me, Marty, Doc Brown, and I am again back…

From the future!

If my calculations are correct, when the MLS Playoffs start soon, you are gonna see some serious shit. Eight teams have qualified for the Big “Enchantment Under The Sea” Dance, but some will soon be fading from the playoff picture. How will it all go down?

Oh Marty, you have a dirty mind! In the Old West, the first round will feature the Galaxy’s black hole defense stopping the slumping Goats and the Dynamo dominating that Schmid fellow’s Sounders. Back in the East, Columbus will grind past Real Salt Lake and the Chicago Fire will just barely best Nicol’s New England Revs. Bet on it, Marty. You know Biff will.

In the Old Western Conference Finals, David Beckham and Landon Donovan will pose a problem for Houston and the Fire will fail to upset the Crew @ Columbus. I know what you are thinking, Marty. The Fire will fail to win even though they always rise on the road? It’s true! In fact, where the Crew are going, they won’t need road wins.

For MLS Cup Champion, I like the Gals. Why Marty? Becase if you are going to build a team into a MLS Cup Champion, you might as well do it with some style right? And they have 1.21 gigawatts of star power. I think Arena has a bolt of lightning too, and I believe he will strike with it during the MLS Cup. No, not a real bolt of lightning, McFly. Geez.

Don’t believe me, Marty? Well then “Future Boy”, who was President of the US in 1985? Ronald Reagan? The actor? Please, my idea for a flux capacitor is more realistic. Wait a minute. Why am I 1955 Doc Brown? This post has no continuity. In fact, it is likely as poor as my predictions. That’s right, Marty! I’ve never been to the future. Heck…

I can’t afford any plutonium recently because I haven’t had a paying acting gig for years! Christopher Lloyd needs work, Marty? It’s not like Zemeckis is busy! Why not make Back to the Future 4: Doc Brown Does FC Dallas? We could get that Jeff Cunningham gent to be in it too! He’s so hot right now! You don’t think it’s a good idea, Marty?

Well, it’d be better than your Doc Hollywood, that’s for sure.

Great scott Marty! It’s those damn Libyan terrorists again! Let’s get out of here and head back to the future. How about we go to 2035, Marty? By then, another American actor has risen to the post of US President? No Marty, not Shia Labeouf. Don’t be silly. It’s Scott Caan, of course. What’s his nickname? Oh please, Marty, do you even have to ask?