Monday, April 1, 2013

Wes Craven. John Carpenter. Dario Argento. Herschel
Gordon Lewis. George Romero. Tobe
Hooper. Jess Franco. Fred Olen Ray. Hell, even Ed Wood. These
are the names you think of when someone says “Masters of Horror.” These are the kind of filmmakers that fans
adore, hungrily snapping up the latest
ultimate-special-super-deluxe-limited-edition-collector’s-edition of even their
schlocky, obscure titles like a bunch of rabid weasels. Even directors like Ulli Rommel, Todd
Sheets, and Charles Band, who have been responsible for more lost brain cells
than all the weed Snoop could dream of, have cult followings. But there is one man who stands shoulder to
shoulder with all of these men, yet has virtually fallen through the
cracks. He is a filmmaking legend whose
career has spanned six decades. He has
lent his talents to every genre, but his contributions to horror are arguably
his greatest cinematic achievements.
However, his name remains largely unknown to horror fans. I intend to rectify this grave injustice. I will do everything in my power to ensure
that none of you ever forget the name of the great Alan Smithee.

Alan (sometimes spelled
Allen) Smithee has come to be known as the go to guy to step in and save the
day on embattled pictures. Almost every
one of his film credits came as the result of the original director and the
studio butting heads. Smithee was
always ready to offer a helping hand, seeing that these pictures got made after
all by directing them himself. He is
also a master of the art of the remake.
Over the years, for one reason or another, a new version of a movie
needed to be made. Sometimes it was
because the original couldn’t be shown on television in its original form. Sometimes airlines needed a shorter version
to show their passengers. Whatever the
case, Smithee would deftly remake the films with an uncanny ability to
seamlessly recreate the style of the original director. His remakes include genre flicks like Dune
and The Guardian, as well as mainstream fare like Showgirls, Scent of a Woman,
Heat, and The Insider. He has worked in
every conceivable facet of film, from effects and art direction to
screenwriting and producing during his remarkable career.

Not much is known about
Smithee’s life before his first film job.
In fact, his reclusiveness has been a running theme. His private life is a complete mystery. He burst into the public eye (how’s that for
a mental image?) in 1969, directing a western called Death of a
Gunfighter. Don Siegel was the original
director, but as would become his M.O., Smithee stepped in when problems arose
between Siegel and the studio.

Death of a Gunfighter won
him acclaim from the critics. The New
York Times said the film was ““sharply directed by Allen Smithee who has an
adroit facility for scanning faces and extracting sharp background detail.”
No less an authority than Roger Ebert said, ““Director Allen Smithee… allows his story to
unfold naturally. He never preaches, and he never lingers on the obvious.” His career seemed to off to a great start.

That was not the
case. He did not direct another film
until a 1978 comedy called Barking Dog. Then, after
directing Gypsy Angels in 1979 (starring Vanna White as a stripper!), he worked
in television throughout the early eighties.
He did have his first brush with the horror genre during this
period. Ironically, it was not as a
director, but as a producer. Michael
Ritchie, original producer of the classic 1981 horror comedy Student Bodies,
had to switch to the director’s chair after Mickey Rose left the project. He called upon Smithee, who agreed to step
in and assume the role of producer.

Alan would get
his first taste of directing in the horror genre through tragic
circumstances. During the filming of
1983’s Twilight Zone: The Movie, an on-set helicopter crash killed co-star Vic
Morrow and two child actors. The second
unit director was traumatized to the point that he could no longer be involved
with the film. Smithee, once again,
stepped in to take up the slack.

His talent was
displayed even in that second unit footage.
One man who saw it and knew that an underrated artist was at work was
none other than Moustapha Akkad. Akkad
obviously had an eye for talent. The
Halloween series, which he produced, was well in its way to becoming one of the
most successful horror franchises of all time.
But in 1985, Akkad was still smarting from the hostile reception
Halloween 3 had received. He decided to
make a horror feature outside of the franchise, and recognized that Smithee was
the right man for the job. The slasher
flick Appointment with Fear, also known as Deadly Presence, was the first
horror feature Alan directed.
Unfortunately, it did not recapture the magic Akkad had created with
Halloween. The film tanked at the box
office, and was only a modest success on home video. To this day, it has yet to be released on DVD or Blu-ray. Honestly, I don’t think it’s THAT bad.

Smithee returned to TV, directing episodes of The New
Twilight Zone and the pilot that launched MacGyver as one of the most
successful series of the eighties. He
directed a couple of forgettable TV movies as well. Possibly remembering his positive experience producing Student
Bodies, Smithee chose a horror comedy as his next genre project. He directed Ghost Fever, starring Sherman
Hemsley of The Jeffersons fame, in 1987.
It was awful. I love me some
Smithee, but this flick was just plain bad.
All the greats have missteps though.
My Soul To Take. Ghosts of
Mars. The Card Player. Survival of the Dead. You know what I’m talking about. Anyway, Smithee would only participate in
one other horror project in the 80’s as one of the screenwriters of The Horror
Show (aka House 3). In the later part
of the decade, he would enter a science fiction phase, directing Solar Crisis
(starring Charlton Heston and Peter Boyle) and the American version of Masato
Harada’s live-action manga Gunheddo. He also went back to his comfort zone, TV,
for a couple of episodes of Tiny Toon Adventures.

In 1991, he decided to give horror comedy one more
try. This time he directed a
masterpiece called Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh, which might be my
favorite horror comedy of all time.
Think Airplane meets Bloodfeast meets Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers. It’s great stuff. I’ve always been baffled that this film isn’t more widely known
than it is. I could talk about it
forever, but we need to move on. You
can read more about my thoughts on this flick at THIS LINK. Nathan definitely says check it out.

TV movies, including The Birds 2: Land’s End (a sequel to
the Hitchcock classic) followed throughout the early to mid 90’s. He directed a supernatural thriller called
Raging Angels in 1995 that has become a classic in the “so bad it’s good”
category. Check out this clip featuring
a pre-Boondock Saints Sean Patrick Flannery.

1997 brought the most high profile project of Smithee’s
career. Special effects bad ass Kevin Yagher decided to take a stab at
directing, and his first project was Hellraiser: Bloodline. When he and the studio couldn’t see eye to
eye and he abandoned the film, there was only one man who could come in and
deliver what would end up being the last good Hellraiser film. That’s right, Alan Smithee took the reigns
and took Pinhead to space. While a lot
of people hate this film with a passion that burns hotter than Courtney Love’s
gonorrhea, I dig it. After Bloodsucking
Pharaohs, this is probably the second biggest jewel in Smithee’s crown. He followed it up with two decent direct to
video horror flicks; The Coroner and Le Zombi de Camp-Rouge.

In 1999, Smithee’s world came crashing down. A parody movie about him entitled An Alan
Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn was released. This film, starring Eric Idle, proved to be so inflammatory that
the Director’s Guild of America blackballed him, swearing that his name would
never appear in the credits of a major motion picture again. This proud artist was a laughing stock. He
would not direct another feature throughout the first decade of the new millennium.

In fact, he could no longer get work on a legitimate
movie. Walter Hill tried to get him to
direct Supernova. The DGA said no. Tony Kayne tried to get him a job directing
American History X. Again the DGA said
no. Ti West tried with Cabin Fever
2. Same story. What was Alan to do? He made a documentary
here and there, including Wadd: The Life & Times of John Holmes. He found work in the music video field,
directing clips for the likes of Whitney Houston, Faith No More, Sarah
McLaughlin, Puff Daddy, The Strokes, and Destiny’s Child. Eventually, he was reduced to making
porn. The series Alan Smithee’s
Streetwalkers produced four volumes between 2004 and 2006. Smithee unfairly languished in obscurity and
ridicule for many years.

Then, in 2011, he decided to make one more feature… and
this is where the story becomes personal for me. That year, he embarked on an
ambitious project known as Another Night of the Living Dead. The zombie movie incorporated elements of
the original undead classic, while new footage made it a whole new story. The film also featured the on-screen debut
of a certain horror blogger that you all know and love. Yes, I played a ghoul in that film. Words can’t express what an honor it was
just to be on the set with such a legend.
He had amazing energy for someone making a movie 42 years after his
first one, and admirable humility for someone who has seen and done as much as
he has. When I told him of my love for
his earlier flicks, he just smiled sheepishly, turned back to the camera, and
continued doing what he loves. Working
with him was a remarkable experience that I will treasure for a lifetime.

Alan Smithee’s legendary career deserves far more
recognition than it gets. He’s given us
a couple of great films, a few good ones, and more than a few that are pretty
bad. Throughout his oeuvre, however,
his work has always been entertaining.
Alan Smithee has definitely earned the right to be listed among the
greats. This April, I implore you to
check out the films of the forgotten master of horror. Don’t be a fool.