Thursday, September 11, 2014

Well, when you're a nation with fewer than 3 centuries under your belt, I guess you've got to celebrate your culture wherever you can and that's why we have the McDonald's Museum.

The 1st ever McDonald's in Des Plaines, IL
is preserved as the McDonald's Museum

On River Rd., just Northwest of Chicago in suburban Des Plaines, is preserved the 1st ever McDonald's fast food drive in restaurant, looking pretty much as it did when super entrepreneur, Ray Kroc, built it in 1955.

According to his authorized autobiography, Grinding It Out, Ray Kroc mortgaged his Northfield home to raise the cash to pursue his dream.

His wife, a short sighted woman, if there ever was one, divorced him as a result.

"I've had it with your cockamamie schemes," she said to Ray.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out," he replied.

The Marquee at the Original McDonald's
Hamburgers were only 15 cents

He gave her the car, the home, the dog and their remaining bank accounts. But he adamantly refused to give her stock in his fledgling McDonald's Corporation, which consisted then, of the one restaurant you see above.

That stock would be worth something around $1 billion today.

Old Ray had the last laugh.

(The link up above will get you a free download of Ray Kroc's Autobiography: "Grinding it Out: The Making of McDonald's". It's well worth reading.)

A Word From The Publisher:

About The Chicago Lampoon

Chicago is a very funny city.

In fact, it is a windswept glacial burg that is the source of a never-ending supply of knee-slappers and outright horselaughs.

From the neophyte community organizer that it foisted on an unsuspecting American electorate to the mop-topped sociopathic boy-Governor that it sent to the Letterman show, to its storied depression era, tommy-gun toting philanthropists, it has produced some truly amusing and amazing characters.

It has a Mayor who is a former ballet dancer, who served in a foreign army and who threatens political enemies by sending them dead fish in the mail. It has 50 sleepy Alderman and 5, usually somnolent professional sports franchises

It has two Jesse Jacksons!

It has more potholes per capita than Nairobi, a creaky 1940s-era elevated train system and cops who get caught on videotape punching out bar maids and businessmen.

As we have since 2009, we are only going to report and comment on what actually happens in Chicago. To make up stuff this weird would tax our inventive capabilities to the limit (or at least as high as the, highest-in-the-nation, Cook County sales taxes.)

Meet The Editors

We're somewhere between Burkean conservatives and bomb throwing anarchists depending on the mood of the moment and the amount of restorative libation we have recently consumed.
But we're usually able to couch our maunderings in some pretty good journalistic prose.