The Top 30 Women of Politics for 2017

LOS ANGELES, June 22, 2017 — The NBA and NHL Finals are over, but man cannot live on sports alone. Summer is here, so it is time to give Dad the belated Father’s Day gift that keeps on giving. Men like viewing pictures of hot women, and it is time to reveal the Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2017.

As always, the list has been divided into the top 10 liberals, centrists and conservatives. Age is no barrier. Hot is hot. Some deserving women were left off of the list solely to give others a chance.

Also, each woman must in some way be publicly active politically or she loses eligibility.

In 2012, Eva Longoria campaigned for President Obama. In 2017 she has stayed quiet, removing herself from contention. Shannen Doherty has a lifetime beauty award. The moment she utters a political comment, she rockets to the top of the list because she is Shannen Doherty.

Many of the women were asked in advance if they would be offended being considered for this type of list. Even liberal nominees wondered who could possibly be so hyper-sensitive.

Some upper-middle-class white college girls at Brandeis can likely answer that question better.

Real women, and men for that matter, actually like being told they are attractive. With that, here are the top 30 hottest political women of 2017.

Conservatives:

10.) Kira Innis — She is the granddaughter of the legendary Roy Innis and the niece of the current Congress Of Racial Equality leader Roy Innis. A rising star in conservative political activism circles, Kira Innis continues the CORE legacy of succeeding on merit.

9.) Michelle Fiore — In a year where Democrats dominated the Silver State, She bucked the wave and won her Las Vegas City Council race. She is a rock solid conservative who is as appealing holding a gun as she is in her Jessica Rabbit costume.

8.) Jesse Jane Duff — This retired Gunnery Sergeant is easy on the eyes and tough on anyone who tries to harm America. Smart?

There are no successful dumb Marine helicopter pilots.

7.) Mollie Hemingway — This analyst at The Federalist accurately predicted for years that the Affordable Care Act would come crashing down.

She makes the case for freedom better than most.

6.) Abby Huntsman — The daughter of 2008 presidential candidate John Huntsman Jr. has managed to keep a low, non-controversial profile. This is impressive given that she is on television every day on Fox and Friends. She is hot, but also warm.

5.) Karen Handel — Despite facing an onslaught against the entire Democrat machine, she won the Georgia special election. Hollywood spent $40 million to defeat her, and she crushed them to earn the title of Congresswoman.

4.) Lisa Boothe — This GOP strategist can out-argue virtually anybody. Her specialty is crisis management, which will keep her in high demand until politicians learn to separate their feet from their mouths.

3.) Katie Hopkins — This hysterically funny British columnist became a rock star when she went on Fox News and had Neil Cavuto in stitches. A champion of Brexit, Hopkins should immediately be hired by Theresa May to keep the British Prime Minister’s government from collapsing.

2.) Sarah Huckabee Sanders — The daughter of 2008 presidential candidate Mike Huckabee drew national praise when she filled in for Sean Spicer at the podium. She is feisty, charming, and able to hold her own defending President Trump against media personalities clearly seeking to do him harm. The Southern drawl is as powerful as ever.

1.) Kellyanne Conway — When you elect a president, you are gorgeous. Candidate Donald Trump was giving bombastic speeches until this GOP pollster and strategist taught him how to communicate in a calm voice. In the final week of the campaign, he spoke sanely and his opponent screamed.

Ms. Conway’s advice was decisive, and every Republican running for office should pay her whatever she wants to advise them.

Centrists:10.) Kiran Chetry — Her politics are tough to determine, and she transitioned seamlessly from Fox News to CNN.

The only reason she is not a bigger star is because so few people watch CNN.

9.) Cartel Wives — Normally it is tough to label someone beautiful when their faces are completely blacked out. These ladies helped bring down Mexican drug lord El Chapo. They stay hidden for safety reasons, but to accomplish what they did requires staggering levels of beauty, brains and courage.

8.) Maria Bartiromo — The former CNBC “Money Honey” now offers political and financial wisdom on Fox News. She was the only reason to watch the 2016 Al Smith Dinner, where the cameraman could not stop focusing on her “gloves.” The gloves were nice too.

7.) Megyn Kelly — She left Fox News for NBC, where she immediately became swirled in controversy for interviewing Alex Jones. Kelly is a tenacious interviewer who keeps her politics very close to the vest. She has skewered liberals and conservatives alike.

6.) Robin Meade — Not only is she the head sled on her Headline News program, but she is also a singer. That is a rare combination of talent. Yes, a woman can be blindingly gorgeous and still a wealth of newsworthy information.

5.) Krysta Walker — The Ballot Access Director for the Illinois Libertarian Party will not stop until she has blown up the two-party system.

She is Libertarian to the core, giving liberals and conservatives something to complain about.

4.) Julie Pace — While the Associated Press as not nearly as neutral as it pretends to be, she plays it straight down the line. She is a refreshing dose of serious maturity and professionalism in an industry that could use so much more of that.

3.) Adelle Nazarian — While her Breitbart employers are clearly populist conservative, this reporter plays it down the line. A Persian beauty, her passion is the Middle East and Iran in particular. She covered Vice President Pence during the 2016 campaign, but does not fit into any box except one reserved for the truly beautiful people.

2.) Gal Gadot — The actress became the pride of Israel and Jews everywhere for her portrayal of Wonder Woman. Her political activism is fairly non-partisan, as she presented the United Nations with her views on how to improve society by respecting strong women. She is no snowflake.

1.) The Trump ladies — First Lady Melania, First Daughters Ivanka and Tiffany, and First Daughters-in-Law Vanessa and Lara are all connected to President Donald Trump.

Despite his winning the 2016 presidential election as a Republican, these women are mostly fairly moderate in their views. None of them are rabid liberals or conservatives, allowing them to appeal to the vast American middle.

Liberals:

10.) Kirsten Gillibrand — As politics gets uglier, even this pretty woman has descended into vulgarity. Despite adopting the new liberal Democrat tradition of dropping f-bombs into speeches, she is still significantly more dignified than her fellow Democrat Senators. The bar is low.

9.) Jon Ossoff — Technically he is not female, but liberals have taught us that gender is just a social construct. He is what is known as a metrosexual, also known as a beta male. He became a Hollywood darling by being able to smile and speak in Obama-style bland platitudes. While this pretty boy lost his race, his resemblance to Pajamaboy gives him a bright future in the party of emasculated males.

8.) Gina Raimondo — The Governor of Rhode Island is that rare breed of politicians who actually held real jobs before going into public service. Her background in venture capital means that she actually understands financial documents put in front of her.

7.) Tulsi Gabbard — This Hawaiian beauty is more than just a congresswoman. She resigned from the Democrat National Committee when they tried to rig the 2016 primary in favor of Hillary Clinton and away from her preferred candidate Bernie Sanders. She took a principled stand, a rarity in American politics.

6.) Debra Messing — She represents the least violent Hollywood strand of the Resistance movement. Like many celebrities, she has opinions based on her opinions. She does occasionally call for political peace and her Twitter temper tantrums are less likely to lead to Secret Service visits than her more militant Hollywood friends.

5.) Ashley Judd — While not approaching Kathy Griffin-ISIS beheading levels, this Kentucky actress is far more militant than Messing. After giving a vulgar anti-Trump speech, this proudly defiant “nasty woman” then whined when Kentucky conservatives gave her dirty looks at a basketball game.

She wants civility from others while throwing haymakers herself.

4.) Capri Cafaro — She won several terms as an Ohio state senator but lost twice when she ran for Congress. Despite a 25-point shellacking by her Republican opponent, this former Ohio Minority Leader remains a passionate advocate for her beliefs. She also worked on the Clinton Global Initiative’s global anti-corruption efforts, which is an endless source of ironic amusement for Republicans.

3.) Lauren Duca — On the surface, this writer for Teen Vogue could be seen as the bubble gum cheerleader for the most vapid segments of America. However, she managed to get under the skin of Tucker Carlson, a normally unflappable guy. He is normally very composed, and she was the only one to get to him since he took over the prime Fox News slot.

2.) Emma Stone — Forget that LaLaLand was one of the most pretentiously obnoxious movies ever made, which says a lot for Hollywood. She won an Oscar by portraying a spoiled brat entitled Hollywood narcissist celebrating being a spoiled brat entitled Hollywood narcissist. Maybe that does take talent.

Her Academy Award statuette gives her license to spout off on every political issue under the sun, from a rich white liberal perspective of course.

1.) Jessica Tarlov — A passionate liberal, she goes toe to toe with the top conservatives on Fox News. She is able to straddle the line between toughness and nastiness. She is a relentless advocate who can raise her voice without coming across as shrill.

She does not back down from a political fight, and occasionally refuses to defend the indefensible. While fiercely partisan, she is not a complete shill.

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”