Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Angelina Jolie's Booby Trap

This is the handsome boy with loads of attitude. Meet Schumi - Lord of the Manor at Alibag.
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This appeared in Financial Chronicle...

Off
with the boobs…!

Surely, there were better options, Ms.
Jolie? Did you really have to?

Agreed , the wicked world has always been
unnaturally fixated on Angelina’s scrumptious body parts – all of them. But come on. We are talking
about the most famous breasts in the world! Angelina has dominated the beauty
space longer than any other living female celebrity. Often referred to as ‘The
Most Beautiful Woman in the World,’ Jolie is recognized as the ultimate sex
goddess. Desirable. Awesome. Perfect. Which is why the news about her double
mastectomy last week left us open mouthed and puzzled. Why, Angie, why? Fans
moaned.Angie claims to have now brought down her breast cancer risk from 50% to less than
5%.Good for her.The faulty BRCA2 gene she says she inherited may have been tamed by her
drastic preventive method. But what about us? We ,who have happily, hungrily
feasted on her body beautiful for years?
Envied it? No matter how ‘brave’ this mastectomy makes Jolie, there will be
millions of fans world wide who will see her through a new filter and feel
devastated. Jolie is less Jolie. Cruel as this sounds, it’s true. Such is the immense power of beauty. And our own pathetic need to seek
perfection in those lucky enough to possess it.

It
is to Jolie’s credit that she has used this very power and special position to
put her slender self behind key global
initiatives, that have helped countless people. Despite all these wonderful
public deeds… despite all the accolades accumulated as a formidable actor,alas,
in Jolie’s case, it was always about The Body. And the
fascination for The Body was unambiguously driven by our fascination for her
perfectly sculpted breasts. Jolie’s shapely right leg, of course, enjoyed a life
of its own after she stuck it out provocatively during a photo call at Cannes.
But the leg’s reign has been abruptly cut short now. From this moment on, the
leg will take a back seat to Jolie’s new, reconstructed breasts. This is
serious. We are talking about breasts. Anjelina Jolie’s breasts . And yes, now
that we know the originals are gone… as in, we know she had them surgically
removed, we are intensely disturbed and disoriented by the act. This incredibly gorgeous woman has made what is
perhaps the toughest decision a woman can ever make – she hacked off a part of herself . Hacking off
breasts, for any ordinary woman is akin to hacking off her female identity.
Sorry, that’s pretty much the deal, no matter how unpalatable it sounds to
feminists.

A woman’s relationship with her breasts is
hard to decode.Let’s just say it is extremely precious and powerful. A woman will part with her kidney
or a lung if she had to, but ask her to sacrifice her mammary glands, and see
the reaction. We can safely call it an irrational attachment to a mass of
tissue topped with a nipple ( both have their uses). Sounds crazy, but we like
our tissue and nipples. A lot! Regardless of shape or size. Breasts are
comforting. Breasts are sensual. Breasts provide reassurance and pleasure.
Which is why millions of women are asking - was
it a must? I mean, surely there were other, less radical medical options?

Jolie says she did it for her children.Even if
one buys into the rationality of her argument, and hails her for taking such a bold decision, another part of the brain says,
“ Is she nuts? Not every woman who has breast cancer dies of it. There are so
many breakthroughs today… there will be many more in the future. Here’s someone
who has the means to get the best possible treatment if she ever gets affected.
And she goes and opts for a double mastectomy? Really!

There are other basic , personal and touchy
questions, too.What happens to Jolie’s sex life? Will Brad and she continue to
enjoy conjugal bliss? No change? What about the odd timing for her surgery –
weren’t the two of them planning a big wedding soon? And what of her Hollywood
career ? Come on! Of course, there are countless leading ladies with reconstructed breasts. And silicon does
rule in showbiz. Phir bhi. Now that we all know those boobs aren’t the real
things (Jolie has gone into graphic details), will we feel a little squeamish
the next time we see her famous cleavage on screen? Nasty, nasty.

I so wish she had hung on to her lovely
breasts. And taken her chances. Like millions of other women . Somehow, I find that the braver option.

47 comments:

I am not someone who takes sides easily and jumps to conclusions. But, being a woman who lives side by side to several other breast cancer fighters/survivors, this post hurt me somewhere. If we leave aside who she is and how significantly her body has been talked about. She is another woman, who has kids and a partner. It won't come to you as a surprise that she also wants to live, who wouldn't after seeing her own mother falling prey to the clutches of cancer? She went public herself before media could chop down on a very sensitive issue and put her on spot for what--- taking her own decision?I wish: at least you did a better job at being sensitive, wise and above all, being a good human being. You are a writer, you embed thoughts in others, like me. And I would want them to be pure, not like masala bhajias. I can get get them anywhere on Indian streets, why read Shobha De?

Extremist please alter your expectations.One reads Shobha De because she is spicy as your metaphor says,'masala bhajias'.If you want pure,unadulterated thoughts read someone else.The fun in catching up with Shobha is when one is in a relaxed mood looking for something catchy, stuff that is easy to read and easy to forget.This isn't the platform for deep philosophical insights.

@Miss M: To you it might be easy to forget and I am happy for you. But for those who do have cancer affecting their lives, not so easy.THINK!? And as far as my insights are concerned, they are aimed at the writer, period.I do enjoy her other posts and could not agree on this at all. So why not voice my opinion, like you did?You could just not let go, not really in relaxed mood, are you?

1) Huh? Since when did Angie have a "famous cleavage"? If anything, she is known for her pout and her skin and that's where it ends. So your so-called Hollywood pop culture facts are wrong.2) Completely disagree with the final analysis. It is far braver to remove these so-called famous boobs, after all. This is one article where I feel like the author disagreed with a celebrity's point of view, for the sake of it, and just to argue. And not wanting to provide any really enlightening argument to the contrary... sad.

@Extremist:You ended your first comment with a poser:Why read Shobha De?I was only responding to that.Just because you're in pain due to Cancer and because of the havoc it creates please don't think everyone else is without grief.Do remember everyone alive is suffering from a kind of 'cancer'. It may necessarily not be the medical kind.So let us not get into the race of whose grief is more?My answer illustrates my mood.

Ms Desince you put in your views, ill share mine as well. From what I read it was a good 87% to 5% and jolie's boobs are hardly something worth talking about. Plus my husband seems to think its a great idea. For now she can control how big or small she wants them and how perky or not they should look.I'll all out supporting her will to live longer having been around women that dont have the same choices or options as she does. Way to go Jolie!!!

Incredibly cruel and insensitive column revealing what an ugly person the writer is. What has your life meant in comparison to Jolie's? What have you achieved, other than writing trashy columns and books? Only possible because you married rich. I always felt vaguely disgusted with myself for reading this column, thank you for the push to stop completely. You are the classic example of how an attractive exterior can cover much ugliness.

@aa:before you pounce on me let me state I hold no brief for Shobhaa De.But in the spirit of being fair.Have you realised the ugliness in your own words?Atleast you have noticed the writer's 'attractive exterior'.In your case we don't even know.Ah! that was deliberate to let you know people usually make personal statements when they have no argument.

Yes, I fully recognize them in the hope (futile I am sure) that she realizes how it feels to be subjected to cruelty. I'm no AJ, but would never say such insensitive things to or about anybody, the only exception being when such terrible behavior is on display. I've always seen the more cruelty goes unchecked, the more it grows. And now I depart from this URL, thankfully for good. There are always "mean girls" clubs in the world, you enjoy your membership, I'm so glad I never joined.

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I think Shobhaa does not want to acknowledge the seriousness of cancer and death. Just because AJ is a celebrity, the truth does not change. She is trying to select life over false pride and that is quite applaudable.

So you are mum on IPL's adventures. Are you trying to protect Nita Ambani's Preity Zinta's Shetty's, Soovar Khan's (SRK) and others bastards who have destroyed this game for cheap bucks.

I was huge fan of both Gavaskar and Shastri but the way these two creatures have become mouthpiece of BCCI for quick bucks - It's sickening. Maraathi people show their greed wherever they go...Bullshit.

"the dichotomy of a mammocentric society-dazzled by adipose tissue"honestly being a woman I don't understand this unjustified fascination with the mammary glands and there are reasons (irritating bra straps, sweat build up and in case you forgot remember how they hurt during puberty??). Frankly I think a woman would find her kidney dearer than her lumps. Can you honestly imagine a choice of breasts over kidneys, picture that dialysis set up. I am not particularly interested in the feminist argument but really some common sense please.

It is not cheating death or pre empt it. You said that we Indians believe in destiny. If it is so why do we visit hospitals and why there is anything called preparation for exams etc. if it is destiny. So please dont bring destiny argument. And she is doing it for her children who need a mother. Some people who just drool over figures, beauty and clothes wont understand certain basic things.

I have been reading your blog for a long while now, and for the first time, I thought a post was .... completely stupid. You had no clear, valid points to make. Nor did you say anything more than repeating 'breats' quite a bit. In all honesty, the one thought that popped into my head was 'Wow, if all these best authors write this bad... it's the proof writer / editor that should be congratulated on the books success!' Did you not even remotely consider the possibility that ending your post with 'I so wish she had hung on to her lovely breasts. And taken her chances. Like millions of other women . Somehow, I find that the braver option.' is sure to elicit a LOT of brickbats from those who have seen cancer, up close and personal? Come on, you cannot be that silly!

As people mentioned above in comment - masala writing is expected of you - but this was just crass and incredibly backward.

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As many opined, I do agree that this post seems too insensitive to somebody's serious issue...while we could write, talk n argue pros n cons, the person who has undergone knows the reality. May be as a celebrity she can be a topic of discussion but need not ridicule her decisions regarding health care.After all this fame can fade anyday...its the real she who has to fight n survive. Had she kept her breasts, who knows the same shobhaade wld conclude "wish she was braver to get them removed...she din't want risk her fame" :P

Usually men go crazy over boobs...be it desi or videshi...Now I see women too go openly about boobs. I guess Mrs De went out of topics and blogged about Angelina's boobies....let me go on her own, onwed,infected boobs...Who do we think we are suggesting her alternatives on her mastectomy...I can understand,writers having bad days.

I am shocked at how uncultured and how dense you are, not only as a human being Shobhaa, but also as a writer. Who the F*** cares and fixates that much on Angelina Jolie's breasts to the point that them being gone affects your life and deepens your stance as an idiot? Clearly, only you. Jolie may have had the option to keep them around longer, or to get a double mastectomy. Being that her mother passed away from cancer and that she has a high risk, the more brave option was to remove them -- not to keep them and keep wondering when the hell the cancer may develop and become malignant or uncontrollable. Furthermore, you seem to think her work as an actress and as a global philanthropist seem to rest on your so called fabricated foundation that you think her breasts are. Could you be any more out of sync with reality? It is writers and people like you who give the media a bad name - it seems as though you need to brush up on your education and remove yourself from the delusional bubble you've managed to trap yourself in. I feel sorry for you.

1. This is so stupid. Next time do some research on breast cancer. So what, Ange should've consulted you before she made this drastic decision should she?

2. Aishwarya Rai is often referred to as the most beautiful woman in the world. never Ange. Why is it that the first people to bring down indian women, are other indian women? Jealousy?

3. This just shows how shallow and pathetic you are, and i sincerely doubt Brad Pitt shares your opinions. Ones health is a far greater priority than one's outer appearance.

4. You once commented that you only write about one's professional/public opinions. Well this is neither her professional life, nor is it any way relevant to the public. Just shows that you're using your column to be a bitch.

Stop this hammering on us saying whole world says Angelina is beauty goddess. There are thousands of angels come in hollywood and fashion world. She is at that position because of her devotion for acting, taking social responsibilities. This kind hype really killed Parveen, Jia and so many fashion models for making their life miserable.

While I liked the "tongue in cheek "kind of article by Shobha on Angeline Jolie, I was perplexed to read the comments of so many blaming her for insensivity shown by her. Angeline jolie is a seasoned campaigner and she is no spring chicken. She used her famous tits in the show business to reach the top and when it come to the matter of life and death and living longer, the chose to sacrifice her boobs. That is where the story ends.. Now let us spare a thought for Brad pitt...

Gosh how insenstive of you. There is a time and place and this aint the place to bitch about boobs. Its probably becuase of women like you that models are coerced into breast enlargements and all thier esteem is centered around the size od them boobs rather than thier IQ.Would you say the same, should your dear daughter be struck with the C word? would you tell her, "oh dear hang on to them boobs, or your life has no meaning? so what if you die and leave your child motherless"you are an IDIOT!!

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