For Mama

1. End up still have to sleep like a Chinese zombie after all. -_-

This picture explains it all.

I said i needed a God-size bed. But now that i think of it, even if i get an Infinity bed, i would still end up sleeping like that. Junya will simply roll closer and closer and closer to me. Based on this every day training, i think by next month i could sleep on a tightrope with ease.

Some people commented i shouldn’t co-sleep with my baby on the same bed cuz it will cause SIDS etc. Well, i am not going to delve into the whole co-sleeping debate, but let’s just say that i just simply cannot resist. Other than having the plus side of easy nursing at night, i also LOVE having him next to me. Sniffing him to sleep sort of became a bed-time ritual to me. A bed without him is simply too lonely. Which leads me to the next point.

2. My Little Lover

I never thought i would feel this way.

Before Xiaxue, Audrey, QiuQiu and i all got pregnant, we sometimes discussed among ourselves how we would dress our daughter up. It never even crossed my mind that i would have a boy. In my fantasy i would always have these two beautiful girls with long hair, sweet and docile. Both my mom and the danna also wished for a girl.

When i found out i was having a boy, i almost cried. It was too much of a disappointment. I couldn’t admit it publicly because people would judge and say what an awful mother i am and that i should just be thankful that my baby is healthy. Yes that much is true. But that was also how i honestly felt at that point.

Even right after he was born, i didn’t get this “love at first sight” feeling every other mother sings fondly about. He was this wrinkly, slow-motion being i could only curiously (and quite helplessly) stared at. I doubted myself why i couldn’t feel more lovingly towards him. Then i concluded that i am just a very stoical person wtf (although some of my friends have more polite choice of word: zen). I don’t panic/worry much. On the same level i also don’t love as much?

But 3 months have passed and i have completely changed my feelings.

I couldn’t recall when i started to feel this way, but i was so glad i have a boy. It feels so natural to me, i almost couldn’t imagine myself with a girl (although i would really loved to have a girl next).

I am infatuated with him.

Sort of in a way like how i had a crush on the first boy i liked. I want to get close to him, lie down next to him, hold his tiny hand in mine, and just stare endlessly at him. My heart warms up and melts away. And sometimes i kiss him on the lips (!!! Am i the only one who does this wtf), over and over again (and it gives me a euphoric high wtf. Is that normal?).

He is my little lover.

I don’t have a girl so i cannot imagine if it is the same, but i guess it would be a little different somehow. They say that boys are always closer to moms? I guess i kind of understand it. And strange enough i can now imagine myself with two boys (or even three???) and i’m happy with that (just saying that so don’t get my hopes high next round HAHAHA).

For Baby

1. Took his first passport photo

Actually this one is taken by iPhone lolol and i photoshopped the background away. Ended up the immigration didn’t let us use this -_-.

We would bring him back to Japan (first trip overseas woohoo!!) in December, he would turn 6 months then. There are so many things to worry about (starting solid? Cold winter… having him with me 24/7 and zero help, baby-friendly places, etc etc etc), but at the same time i am also very very excited about it!

2. Turning into a boy

Somehow he loses his babyness each day, and turning more and more like a boy. He smiles more and cries less but also starting to show his temper eagerly lol.

He would sigh dramatically sometimes and grumbles when he is not pleased lolol.

3. His favorite drumstick

At 2 months old he discovered his drumsticks, but now he has mastered the skill of chewing on the bones lol. Instead of the whole fist now he has a favorite finger to chew on (not only just sucking anymore).

4. Grow more cheeks

Same as the month before.

And i love to bury my lips deep deep deeeeeeeep into those cheeks.

5. Sitting up

He can sit up now for a short while against the sofa without toppling over and he demands to be held up-right most of the time. (Cannot cradle him anymore. Anyway cradling looks awkward since he is so big now XD).

6. *Trying* to roll over

With a little help he can now flip from back to tummy.

And also enjoys tummy-time a lot more now that he could hold his head up steadily.

22 Comments

We co-sleep too and I love how easy it makes night feeding! Research actually shows that the risk of SIDS with co-sleeping for non-smoking breastfeeding mums is outweighed by the benefits. My baby is four months next week – so much fun watching them grow!

How are you? glad that your enjoying motherhood. Don’t worry about kissing your little boy on the lips your not the only one as I do the same with my 7 months plus boy too. It’s always nice co-sleeping with them, as they tend to snuggle next to us, maybe due to our scent. But my little one shares the same bed with his 4y old sister, their separated by a big bolster though. It’s only in the morning when he needs to feed that we co-sleep.

He’s so damn cute! Really becoming a big boy already! I think co-sleeping or not is everyone’s own choice. You just gotta do what makes you and your baby feel best! I personally roll around like a drunk lunatic when I sleep so I would be too scared that I would roll on top of the baby and suffocate him/her.

Hey there. I have been a silent reader for years now. And like u, I adore japan and it’s culture.
However, I am now in osaka and was just turn away from service for dinner at a restaurant though my bf speaks japanese. Also, the moment we were turned away, a sympathetic jap offered to translate the menu for us, but still, the chef told her that she would not serve us, a gaijin. This in itself is ridiculous. It’s not about language. This is racism.
And FYI, the food that I get from any combini is really just empty carbs with no nutrients. With some research it showed how most jap’s salary increment are way below the inflation rate. Let’s just say that Ur picture of this country is way biased and maybe u should take a cold hard look at what japan can be like if u r not married to a japanese.

Actually hah… the first time i came… i went and told Aud.. wah Ringo like super not attached to the baby lor… HAHAHHHAA…then she kepy yameh! no what! she came Fighters birthday ok what! Then I was all no lor! like no attachment weh when i saw that time. then i dont dare to tell you or ask :E but then you blogged about it so I wanted to point out…

SUDDENLY the next time i came you become doting attached mother already. WTF. and this was around 2 months+ ah. cause i dare to carry adi that time. WTF.

Then i self doubt the first time i came up with the conclusion that you’re quite a detached person. LOL and whether i had just imagined it. HAHHAHAHHHA. WTF.

I know the feeling, I co-sleep with my baby girl too and everyday I am more and more in love with her. It’s as if she is the most important thing in my life and I used to be an ice queen before her, it’s so interesting.

My family and I are going to Japan on 22nd Dec for family trip. I went through all your Japan-related posts but is there anything in particular to be aware of in Dec? Such as the weather, what kind of place is best to visit/festival and what fruits to try during that time? Thanks so much! 😀

Lol, i co-sleep with my little one when she’s 3-4 month until now (9 month).. No harm really.. The nurse says nothing wrong.. She’s normal.. Mayb their scared u crush them while u sleeping or something..

Hi Cheesie. Been following your blog and IG for some time now. Junya is such a cutie and our boy is different by 1 month (Junya being older by a month) 🙂

May I know which month did Junya start to roll over himself without any help? Am trying on my boy who has just turned 4 months yesterday but whenever he is left lying down, he only kicks non stop but no sign of roll over 😛

Hihi, thank you for your reply! I have thought you may be busy and not replying so quickly. Happy (somehow) when I see your reply ler..

OKOK, I shall patiently wait for my little man to do his stunts himself then. Guess I’m just overly worry about his development, after some thought and said to myself “Hey! he is just a baby..let him do his thing lah!” – OK that hits me. :S