Month: October 2017

October 12, 2017 this sweet soul left this earth. I’m not sure how to put into words how I feel. Heart broken with a mix of relief is the best way. He’s no longing fighting. He doesn’t have anymore doctors appointments. No more surgery… He can finally just be.

Grandpa has lived with us (my mom, sister, and I) since I was about 5 years old. Since I was 18 he’s been fighting cancer. But he put up one hell of fight. My whole childhood he was there. Every Friday night he was at the football games “watching me cheer” but I know he was really watching the game.

My heart aches knowing my future child will never know the love this man had for his family. I’m hopeful I can share his life and stories with them so they know the man he was. How very much he would have loved them.

Where ever he is I hope he’s watching over us. I also hope he knows and still feels our love for him.

Grandpa, I know its only been two weeks but I miss you dearly. I know you are finally at peace and I hope you get to spend your days golfing. I will live everyday trying to be the best person I can be while also always being kind to everyone I meet.

Sunday morning Max discovered a window without a screen. L was outside with the dogs while I was inside. The complete joy on his face is obvious. He just couldn’t believe what he was experiencing. I just love him and simple pleasures he finds everywhere.

Yet again I let a few months pass before I returned to this space. I was feeling disconnected from this space and unhappy with the way it looked. I spent some time with L’s mom today and she helped me getting it to look more like me. Hopefully more inviting and welcoming.
Since July we’ve traveled to Sturgis, South Dakota. I’ve gone to San Francisco to visit family. We enjoyed one last lake weekend to close out summer. Basically just tried to enjoy life. It hasn’t all been great but I’m learning such is life, even if it’s heart breaking and world shaking.

I’m excited to return to this space more. I hope you’re ready for more of me.