Today:

“Sometimes we fail to be all that we could be, and sometimes we aren’t there to give you all you need from us. Accept our imperfections, too. Love and help us in return. That is what we are in OA—imperfect but progressing. Let us rejoice together in our recovery…” — Overeaters Anonymous Second Edition, p. 6

One of the meetings I attended this morning discussed the slogan “Let go and let God.” It occurs to me that to do so is to admit that I am not God, and that any attempt to improve upon His will is futile. Furthermore, the more I pursue my will, the more distant I get from His, and the more alienated I become from the satisfaction of fulfilling the purpose of my design. I cannot be anyone’s higher power – not mine, not my sponsorees’, not my spouse’s, not my children’s. I am human. This is both limiting and liberating at the same time. When I accept my humanness, I forgive grudges, I count myself among those I have harmed, I deliberately make amends to myself, and I appreciate myself for what I was made to be, nurturing myself to become that which God would make me. This is the re-covering of recovery, to be clothed in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, with myself as well as with others. (Colossians 3:12)

“25 The sluggard’s craving will be the death of him,
because his hands refuse to work.26 All day long he craves for more,
but the righteous give without sparing.”

The two contrasting characters are the self-indulgent loaf called “sluggard” and the one properly aligned with the will of God called “righteous.” Their defining difference seems to be their willingness. One refuses to budge for anything, the latter refuses to spare any resource giving himself to others. The stingy one enslaved to the bondage of self is serving a death sentence, but there is no mention of any end at all for the giver. It is as though that character is like the boy’s five loaves and two fish (reference) or the widow’s bottle of oil (reference), an inexhaustible supply.

What am I willing to give up today? In the light of what I have been given, can I really call it a sacrifice? How can I not share whatever I have, even up to and including all of it? Can I consider the “Good Samaritan” who promised to pay whatever bill his patient incurred (reference), and not extend myself beyond what is convenient for me? How can I “go and do likewise” if I am only willing to give up what is in my plan and schedule? The righteous give without sparing. If I want to apply the character of the righteous, I need to leave the measuring devices in the kitchen where they belong, and pour myself out onto others without gauge.

“6 Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.”

It is funny this should come up. I was listening to a woman complain about a painful drama in her life when, exasperated, she uttered the phrase, “I aint got time for that!” The meaning behind the frustrated woman’s statement was that she was not willing to give any priority to the situation that was robbing her of her resources – specifically her time and attention. It occurred to me that all we really do have is time. It is the measurement of our life. The tricky part is that we never know how much of it we have, and our destroyer seeks to get us to throw away as much of it as he can, so that we do not occupy it to our purpose of serving one another. Any moment not spent serving God and those around us or equipping ourselves to do so, is a moment wasted. This is oddly related to the theme of today’s reflection, in that what I am willing to spend my time, my attention, my resources on is only limited by my own priorities.

What are my priorities? Will I have any other gods besides God? What will I set between me and Him? What limits will I put between me and serving “the least of these brothers of mine”? (Matthew 25:40) Anything I do is an obstruction to my progress. What hindrances am I willing to remove from that clog to restore a smooth flow of God’s loving kindness to and through me to those around me? Can I forgive those who trespass against me as I am forgiven, or am I still silently wishing that weren’t part of the Lord’s Prayer and instruction for His disciples? Any unwillingness I harbor is vanity, and it is what limits my own life and light.

I am willing! Love all; harm none! …according to God’s will, in the name of Jesus, Amen!