Title: Not Broken (1/2)Author: nouveau_mondayRating: NC-17Characters/Pairing: Luke/NoahSpoilers/Warnings: This spoils up to NYE but then derails because wanting more privacy and then deciding to take it slow does not fit well with the notion of a porn-a-thon.Summary: Noah wants Luke desperately. Luke wants Noah desperately. Luke freaks out. Noah tries to be noble. Luke eventually has his way with Noah. Noah reciprocates. Happy endings for all.Challenge: Written for the Luke/Noah New Year Porn-a-thonPrompt: Gay Merit Badges and Private Parties (and an incidental fireworks reference)

Luke sat on the sofa in the parlor. He played with Noah’s hair absent-mindedly while Noah’s head rested in his lap.

“You’re grandmother isn’t going to bust us for this, is she?”

“She said my room was off limits, not the parlor. Anyway, what’s going to happen here?” The hand not entangled in Noah’s hair skimmed across his arm. “Quit worrying. We haven’t done anything wrong.”

Noah mumbled something and flushed.

“What was that?” Luke tipped his head to the side and bent closer enough to feel his boyfriend’s breath.

“You absolutely said something, Mayer, and as your boyfriend...” He purred the word for extra emphasis. “Your boyfriend should know what makes you blush.” Luke slipped his left hand under Noah’s shirt and up his ribs. “Tell me or I’ll be forced to resort to tickling you.”

Noah squirmed at the thought. His breath caught in his lungs as the shift of his body placed Luke’s warm, rough hand across Noah’s heart. He forced his eyes to remain on Luke as he confessed what he had mumbled. “I said, not yet.”

“Not yet was enough to get you hot and bothered? Not yet what?” Luke’s fingers danced circles around Noah’s nipple. He smiled at the shivers he created.

“Not yet done anything wrong, Luke, but I swear if you keep looking at me, keep your hand on me, I’m no longer responsible for what happens in this room.” Noah’s eyes were glassy. His hands clenched the covers on the sofa cushions.

Luke feathered his hand across Noah’s skin. He cradled Noah’s head in his other one. “Promises, promises, Noah. You’re as solid as a boy scout. That’s why you’re allowed to stay. My family knows we barely even kiss. Now, shut up and fix that.” Luke leaned impossibly forward to bite Noah’s lip.

Noah’s whole body clenched, but he craned upward to meet Luke. More than anything he wanted to eradicate the image of a boy scout from both their minds. The Colonel had been a fucking boy scout. The first taste of his tongue across Luke’s lips swept any other thoughts away. A combination of cookies and milk from the plate left for Santa pounded at his senses. Noah licked at Luke’s mouth while his hands reached up to find him. He needed to touch him. Always wanted to touch him. When Noah had kissed Maddie, the kisses were more frequent, but never as intense. Like a faucet dripping compared to barrel-rolling Niagara Falls. The water was not the same just because it was wet. Wet. He groaned into Luke’s mouth as Luke’s teeth scraped his lip. Luke’s mouth – like the rest of him – was a miracle.

Uncomfortable stolen kisses were not going to be acceptable much longer. Every touch of their tongues flared electricity to Noah’s dick. In Luke’s grandmother’s parlor, he tried to remind himself. You cannot beg Luke to touch you, blow you, jerk you off, or fuck you while in his grandmother’s parlor. In a blinding moment of rational thought, he pressed his hands against Luke’s chest and pushed him away. “We shouldn’t, Luke.” He cringed at the fear in his own voice.

“We shouldn’t what? Shouldn’t kiss? Noah, you can still barely say the word.” Luke’s sarcasm bit through his ragged breath. “Why can’t we? Last time I checked we were dating.”

Noah flinched at the hurt, the doubt, in Luke’s voice. “Oh god, Luke.” He ran his hands through his hair. His fingers brushed against Luke’s thigh from where he still leaned on him. Noah’s dick strained against his pants just thinking of him. “Luke, it’s not that, and you should know it. I struggle with words, but not feelings.” He blushed. “Trust me. The feelings are definitely there.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Jesus, Luke, we’re in your grandmother’s house. Your dad caught us once already. I don’t even know how you made it back downstairs. Do I want to be kissing you? All the god damned time. Do I want to be thrown out of your family’s house when for the first time in my fucking life I’m around people who actually love-“ He broke.

Luke shifted to cradle Noah against his shoulder. He held him close and let him cry.

Noah clung to Luke’s arms and hid his face. “I’m an idiot.”

“No, Noah, no, you’re not. I’m the idiot. You were trying to do the right thing and I thought you didn’t want me.” Luke pulled him closer. “Shut up and get it out of your system. Sounds like you were overdue for it.”

Noah sat up so his knees touched Luke’s. He dashed at his eyes. “Not want you? Luke Snyder, how could you possibly - ? What were you possibly - ?” He pitched his voice lower, held his face inches from Luke’s. “I want you so badly I can’t think. In the middle of my final when I should have been writing about Best Years of Our Lives, I had to stop because all I could imagine was that I’d be seeing you. Every time you move, I want to touch you. I want you so bad it hurts.” He rolled his eyes. “I always thought blue balls were some weird myth, like going blind or getting hairy palms.” He grabbed Luke’s hand and pressed it to his lap. Noah touched his forehead to Luke’s. “Trust me. I’m not blind, and, as of yet, no werewolf hands, but Luke,” he held Luke’s hand over his dick and wanted to whimper at the heat scorching through his pants. “Luke, I want you so bad it hurts.”

Luke’s hand tensed. For weeks he had been trying to angle them enough privacy for just this. His fingers slid over the outline of Noah’s dick, up and down. He shifted, uncomfortably aware of his own. “It’s not only you, Noah.” He slid Noah’s hand down his chest and on to his lap. “You do the same to me.” Luke grinned at the intake of Noah’s breath, but whined when Noah pulled away like he had been burned. “Stop thinking, Noah. Just stop thinking.” For emphasis, Luke closed his hand over Noah’s dick and swiped his thumb over the head.

Noah’s pants were sticky. For a brief, delectable moment, Luke wanted to yank off Noah’s clothes and suck him until that hint of pre-come was the real thing sliding down his throat. He ran his thumb under the head, as he did to himself, and was rewarded by a second, not so quiet, moan.

Noah couldn’t stop his noises, but could control his hand. He used his fingers to feel the differences between their dicks. Luke felt wider, maybe shorter, but definitely as hard. He mimicked Luke’s gestures and teased the head of Luke’s dick with his thumb. He smiled at Luke’s shudder and took that as a cue to move his hand up and down Luke’s shaft. He palmed the head while his other swept Luke closer to him. All these sensations and emotions forced desire from his every pore. Would it be possible to climb inside Luke’s skin? Was there another way to be as close? Luke shuddered underneath him. His hips rocked toward Noah’s hand, even as Noah realized he was doing the same.

“Oh god, Noah, fuck, just, you have to stop before –“ Luke’s attempt at verbalization ran out. He rocked reflexively against Noah’s fist. “Really close, Noah. You feel so good.”

Noah nibbled at Luke’s lip. “Shut up, Luke. Your family’s going to hear you and think you’re hurt. Don’t want the whole family here right now, do you?” He adjusted his hand over Luke’s sweats. He used his tongue to lick the inside of Luke’s sweet mouth. Would all of him taste that way, or was that the rich cream of the chocolate chip cookies from earlier? Tasting more than Luke’s mouth crashed erotic images into every muscle of Noah’s body. Ideas he didn’t know he could conjure pooled behind his eyelids.

Noah placed his hand over Luke’s and debated whining as the cool air of the parlor replaced the warm strength of Luke’s fingers. “For you, Luke, all for you.” Noah maneuvered himself to straddle Luke’s legs. Next time, he promised himself. Next time this will not happen on a sofa unless it pulls out into a bed. With the use of both hands, Noah pushed Luke back. “What do you like? What do you need?” He didn’t, couldn’t, wait for a response. Luke was the only reason to exist. A beacon in Noah’s otherwise dark existence. Like the first kiss, all of Noah’s desire and desperation spilled from his mouth and blended with their tongues. Noah held Luke’s face between his hands, searing kisses across him until he tasted the salt mingling with Luke’s skin. “Oh shit, Luke, fuck.” He yanked himself back. “I hurt you. Did I hurt you? I’m an idiot.”

Under Luke’s touch, Noah felt his own tears. Again, he curled into Luke and let himself be held close. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Luke.”

“I love you, too, Noah.” Luke smiled. “Sharing Christmas with you is amazing. And look,” he pointed at the red digital read out on the cable box. “1:20. Almost an hour and a half into Christmas day. We should both get sleep before Faith and Natalie drag us to open presents. You’ll need rest to prepare for that. And I need a cold shower.” He untangled his limbs from Noah. “Good night.”

Noah smiled. “Cold shower, huh? Maybe,” he reached out to snag Luke’s fingers. “Maybe some other day we can try a warm one together. I remember how you look when you’re wet. Wet and naked sounds even better.” Luke’s flushed smile was the only present Noah needed. “Sleep well, Luke,” Noah curled himself up under the covers as best he could. He drifted to sleep before Luke turned off the light by the door.

*****

Christmas was everything Luke warned Noah it would be, and that still couldn't have prepared him for the morning. Christmas at the base, whichever base, was quiet and orderly. Presents had stopped by the time Noah was twelve because real men didn't need gifts. There had been church, but nothing like church with the Snyder clan. Then grace in the mess hall led by the Chaplain, then organized, pre-measured, mass produced meat, vegetable and two starches. More people, barely, than at the farm, but certainly less talking. Wrapping paper and ribbons were everywhere. And to quote the Grinch, "Oh the noise, noise, noise, noise!" By the time presents were unwrapped, he was ready to duck and run. But Luke held his hand and everything seemed like it would be okay, more than okay even.

"Didn't you promise me a walk down to the pond?" Luke's chin rested on Noah's shoulder. His breath tickled his ear.

"I did. Instead of walking to Chicago as you wanted." Noah turned to face Luke. "Do we have time?"

"With my family? Oh sure. You're about to explode anyway. This is way too much for you. Besides, they're so happy I'm walking, they're not going to stop me. And you, you're my prince in shining armor, who inspired all this in me. Dad knows it. My grandmother knows it. A saunter down to the pond to make out like rabbits seems a reasonable request, don't you think?"

Noah clapped a hand over Luke's mouth. "Your sisters are still in the room. Don't talk like that."

Luke bit Noah's palm and laughed. "They're busy with their new video games and Mom. They won't even notice we're gone. Come on, Noah. Grab a coat, and I'll tell Dad where we're going. I'll meet you in the kitchen. Hurry." Luke grabbed for his cane and slithered away from Noah's grasp. He hobbled out of the room without looking behind him. Hopefully Noah would understand the urgency.

He found Holden in the kitchen doing breakfast dishes. "Hey Dad, I was just wondering if you would miss Noah and me for an hour or so?" Luke projected innocence as best he could. His dad always seemed to know what he was thinking. Maybe this time he wouldn't try to peer inside his brain. Luke's skin burned with pent up desire and the clear realization that it better stayed pent or his dad would come up with some lame excuse to not let it happen.

"Sure, Luke, do whatever. Just be back in time for dinner." He glanced at his watch. "Which should be in two hours. That's when everyone else is arriving. Be home in an hour so you're rested." He turned back to the dishes. "And Luke, don't do anything foolish. You just started walking again. Let's keep you upright."

Luke smiled. "Of course, Dad. I wouldn't do anything else. It's just a walk. Promise. No mistletoe growing on the trees as far as I know." He hugged his father. "Thank you. Noah makes this great, but having mom here makes it the best. Go talk to her. Don't hide in the kitchen doing dishes just to let her have time with the girls. We're a family."

"You stop worrying about me. I'll continue worrying about you. That's my job. Now go, have a good time on your walk." He nodded to Noah. "Don't let him push himself. I'm counting on you."

"Yes, Sir." Noah handed Luke his jacket and shrugged on his own. "Hear that Luke. Your father says to take it easy." He walked to the door and held it open. "Thank you, Sir. We won't go too far."

"See that you don't, Noah. Luke's stubborn. Don't let him fool you into doing something you know you shouldn't." Holden raised one eyebrow at his son. "And Luke, be good."

"Always, Dad. Be back in an hour."

Noah closed the door behind them. He stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. "Christ, it's cold." He shivered.

"This? This is nothing. Just need to toughen you up. You need to do more physical therapy with me." Luke fussed with Noah's striped scarf and zipped up his jacket. "Don't worry. I'll keep you warm." He smiled.

"Always," whispered Noah.

"You promised me a walk to the pond. Let's go." Luke held out the hand not holding the cane. "It's beautiful this time of year. I've missed it." He laughed. "I've had a lot of time to think about the pond." He curled his fingers around Noah's. "You at the pond. You and me at the pond. You and me in the water at the pond. Trust me. I've been dreaming about this moment for far too long."

"Me too. Ever since," Noah shook his head. "I was an idiot. There you were, and there I was, and then Maddie..." He sighed.

Noah and Luke walked in almost silence, both wrapped in their own thoughts. Noah's head filled with a million words he could never quite say. Luke, his family, last night, nothing like that would ever have happened with the Colonel. Real men didn't cry, didn't hug, didn't love. Real men didn't speak, or care, or have to take moments because their emotions overwhelmed them, or make out under mistletoe with anyone, let alone another man. His senses effused with the dark chocolate taste of late night kisses and the scorching heat of Luke through thin sweats. Jesus, he had a one track mind. He fisted his hands further into his pockets, clenching them against the need to pin Luke up against the nearest tree and kiss him until they both passed out.

Luke elbowed Noah gently. "A penny for your thoughts?" He grinned his most innocent grin, but his eyes remained mischievous. "You're biting your lip and the noise you just made sounded extremely interesting." He put his hand on Noah's arm. "I might even have a quarter if the thought is good enough?"

Noah stared at the ground, kicked the leaves and rocks at his feet. His ears burned through the chill in the air. "Just thinking about you, Luke." He ran his hand through his hair and forced his eyes to meet Luke's. "I'm always thinking about you. But I don't want to push, or be too presumptuous or overwhelm you again like I did last night. I don't want to scare you ever. My father did more than enough."

Luke wrinkled his nose. "I don't want to think about your dad. And you're never going to be him, ever." He brushed Noah's cheek. "I'm so in love with you, Noah. I love your intensity and your honesty. You tell me that you lie, that you run away, but somehow you always find your way back to me with the truth." He draped kisses across Noah's lips. "Let's talk about something better. Let's talk about what had your teeth gnawing at your lip instead of mine. The pond is around the corner and there's a couple benches there." He tugged Noah forward, happy with the desire in Noah's eyes.

At the bench, Luke sat. His legs ached more than he wanted to admit, but the air outside felt so good. Inhaling, the chill rocketed to his lungs, driving a cough out of him.

"Are you okay?" Noah's arms wrapped around him.

"I'm better now." Luke leaned his back into the warmth of Noah's chest. "Much better in fact." He tipped himself back to bite at Noah's jaw. The feel of arms tightening around him gave him all the encouragement he needed. He bit again, letting his teeth scrape against the hint of stubble Noah must have missed when shaving. Not happy with the amount of skin he could reach, Luke gave up on subtlety and pulled himself into Noah's lap. All that time in the wheelchair seemed to be paying off. "I coughed because the air was cold, not because I'm going to break. We're out here. There are no adults, and amazingly enough, no people under the age of fourteen either. It's just us, Noah, so can we get on with the making out like animals bit?" He licked a trail up Noah's neck to behind his ear and bit him once more.

"Yes, please," Noah whispered. He pulled Luke to him, moaning into his mouth as their tongues met. Noah tasted of peppermint mouthwash and something stronger, darker. Coffee maybe? Noah's hands slipped under Luke's jacket to tattoo fingernail marks across his back. The pressure of his hands managed to wedge Luke even more directly onto Noah's lap. Noah growled as Luke writhed against his obviously growing erection. Noah's hips shifted under Luke as they both came up for air.

Noah held onto Luke and moved them both somehow. Luke lay cradled in Noah's arms against the slightly curved wooden seat of the bench. Like the previous night, Noah's kisses took on an air of desperation, but today they were met in turn. Luke took whatever Noah gave. He leered at Noah's yelp when Luke's icy hands found his nipples. He lost the ability to articulate thought when Noah nipped at his collarbone. Luke shifted his head to give Noah better purchase and pulled him closer until their jackets rubbed uncomfortably against them.

Noah yanked off his scarf with one hand and stuffed it behind Luke's head. Luke leaned back and nodded to say that would be fine. Noah took the nod for what it was and somehow managed to unzip both of their jackets before Luke was clear on where things were going. Noah's hands, ridiculously graceful for their size, tugged both of their shirts up before returning to invade Luke's mouth again.

The air, the heat, the wet of Noah's tongue and the rough, dirty utterances spilling from his mouth urged Luke onward. He wanted to wrap his legs around Noah, wanted to be as close as they could be on a bench outside in December while still remaining at least partially dressed. More than that, he wanted to really feel what Noah had teased him with the night before. So what that his fingers were cold and they were outside? He wanted Noah's dick. He wanted to lay Noah back on the bench and suck him until they both came. He wanted to memorize every detail of Noah's skin. His legs weren't going to cooperate, but his hands would.

He moved slightly to get at Noah's jaw. The heavy sound of Noah's breath kept him warm. Luke moved his hands across Noah's chest. Knowing the strength those muscles contained made each brush of his fingers that much hotter. Noah could practically carry him, but still whimpered and shivered under Luke's touch. His hands now warmer, he slid them down to Noah's hips. Tracing the outline of the muscles had Noah rocking himself closer to Luke. Luke kissed Noah. His lips were dry and chilled, but warmed up soon. Luke's heart beat fast as he contemplated his boyfriend's mouth.

Distracted by the power of Luke's kisses, Noah failed to notice the pop of his top button on his jeans being undone. He failed to notice the next one, but the third one caused him to yelp. Luke's hands down his pants was hot and cold and oh my god, his fingers brushed against his shorts and Noah lost his ability to breath. Caught between begging Luke to touch him and frozen in fear of what might happen if he did, Noah struggled. Luke's mouth continued to drown Noah's senses, but now they warred with new ones expanding in his dick. Luke's fingers sneaked under the band of Noah's shorts and finally, oh Jesus, Luke was touching his him. Noah swore, not knowing what else to say, but fuck and yes seemed to make the point clear.

"God Noah, I want you naked. I've been waiting for this moment since forever." Luke maneuvered his hand for better access. Noah's dick throbbed. Luke slid his fist over it. His palm covered the head of Noah's dick and felt slippery fluids coating their skin. Luke swallowed his own sigh and found a rhythm around Noah. Jerking someone else off was different than jerking himself off, but the idea seemed the same. Longer, thinner, but still smooth controlled strokes. Noah held his body off Luke's to give Luke the room he needed, but Noah's arms trembled and he bit his lip. His movements under Luke's hand became stronger. His once patient hips and thighs began to force themselves into the action. The pressure of his Noah's muscles reminded Luke that he wasn't working completely up to speed. That his legs, no matter how much they wanted to meet Noah thrust for thrust, couldn't. His hands faltered at the thought.

"Lu-u-u-ke?" Noah whimpered. What happened? Why did Luke stop? Shit. Okay. Say something rational. Think Noah, think. Fuck. "I can't stay like this. My arms, I have to put them down, soon." Luke said nothing. He seemed caught in a thought that had nothing to do with the here and now. What had Noah done? Why did the incredible feeling of his boyfriend's hand slow and stop? Cold hair skidded past Luke's fingers and Noah felt himself contracting in the air. He wriggled himself more fully out of Luke's grasp. He adjusted his arms to sit them both up, wincing at the pain of his jeans biting at his dick. Noah pulled Luke up into a sitting position, and stood up. With his back to Luke, he swallowed several ounces of worried bile and lust and re-buttoned his jeans. "Are you okay? Did I?" He cringed at the thought, but hurried on, "Did I do something?" He sat back on the bench, reached for Luke's hands. "You were touching me and it was amazing and then you stopped. I've never done something like this before." Not with a guy, not with a boyfriend, not with someone he loved. "Did I, was I, I don't know, was there something I was supposed to do and didn't?" He kissed Luke's fingers and shivered at the scent of Luke's sweat and his own almost-orgasm. His dick pressed at the inside of his jeans just thinking about what had happened.

At first, Luke shook his head but said nothing. Noah's eyes stayed focused on him, but he couldn't speak. Luke wanted to kick himself, but his fucking legs didn't work right yet. Noah had been exactly where he wanted him. Hell, Luke admitted, his hand was exactly where it should have been, and he fucked it up. What was wrong with him? "You did nothing wrong. It wasn't you. It was me."

"You know, for a writer, sometimes your dialogue is for shit." Noah closed his eyes. Fuck. That was not what a supportive boyfriend was supposed to say. God he sucked at this. "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry, just," he shrugged. "I'm just ... a little tense still." He kicked at the ground and felt stupid.

"Noah, honest, you did nothing wrong." He took Noah's hands into his and squeezed tight. He brought their combined hands together mimicking Noah's earlier gesture. The scent of his boyfriend exploded Luke's sense and before he thought about it he was sucking on their joined fingers. Noah's repressed noises made it all the more sexy. "Shit, you really did nothing wrong. Believe me. You were everything I imagined. Everything I ever wanted. I just freaked out. I'm so sorry."

"Everything you imagined, huh?" Noah shrugged. He jammed his cold, damp fingers into his pockets. "Everything you wanted, and yet here I am feeling like an asshole. How's that work?"

"Badly. Look, I don't normally think of myself as petty or jealous, ignoring some of my earlier pre-physical therapy reactions to being in that chair, but ..." He closed his eyes. "You were on top of me, and you were so strong. And you moved." He thought of those muscles clenching. "More than moved. You had strength and rhythm and," Luke ground his legs as best he could against the bench at the memory. "You were so hard and so wet and, Noah, what if I can't do that? What if I'm never going to be able to do any of that with you?" He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "What if I want to take you so badly that I hurt all over and can feel every nerve in my body screaming out to be on top of you, inside you, rubbing against you in anyway." His voice once loud died to a whisper, "What if I can't do any of that?"

"That's what you were thinking?" Noah blushed as his voice cracked. "I was about three seconds from the most incredible orgasm of my life given to me by the most incredible man in my life, and you thought you wouldn't be able to take me anyway you wanted? Luke, whatever you need. I'll take a yoga class to become more flexible. I'll find a chiropractor willing to snap my spine. We will do all those things you want to do." He knelt on the ground, sat on his heels, and forced Luke's perfect brown eyes to meet his. Noah held Luke's chin to make sure he understood. "Don't you get it, Luke? You have me. Whatever you need. Whatever we need." He put his forehead against Luke's.

His breath, warm and salty, brushed Noah's eyelashes. "How can you do that? Say just the right thing when I need to hear it? I love you, Noah. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Let's not think about that right now. I don't want to find out ever again." Noah hugged Luke. "We're fine. You're fine, and I will be by the time we get back to the farm. Want to head back?"

"Not really. I want to go back to a few moments ago and get my hands all over you again." Luke spilled Noah onto the bench. "Can't we do that?" He kissed him. "Can't we pretend that I'm not the most pathetic boyfriend in the entire universe and just let us both ..." He bit Noah's lower lip, sucked on it, smothered his face in necessary kisses. "Let us both have the best Christmas orgasms we ever possibly could dream of?" Luke nibbled Noah's ear, his jaw, bit his neck. "Please?"

Noah groaned. His hands snaked around Luke's and held fast. He met him kiss for laughing kiss. "Luke, that sounds wonderful, the best. You're adorable. And god help me, I don't know what's wrong with me, but no."

Luke pulled back.

"Don't look at me like that." Noah frowned.

"Look at you like what? Look at you just turned down the offer of sex? Look at you like you just turned down the offer of giving me the first orgasm I haven't given myself? Hell yeah, I'm looking at you like this?" Luke tugged on Noah's scarf. "Noah, I want you. I brought you out here with the intent to make out like bunnies, remember?. I turned you on. I fucking had you in my hands." He glared at his traitorous fingers. Why couldn't they have told his brain to shut up? "And now you're saying no? What else am I supposed to do but look at you?"

"Damn it Luke, stop. I keep screwing this up." He dragged his fingers through his hair, pulled at the roots. "What you did. What we almost did. Luke, I want it to be special. If I'm really going to be the first guy to make you come, then I want it to be not on a bench at Snyder pond." He put his hands to better use and squeezed Luke's arms. "I want a bed, and warmth, and candles and music and everything in the world that makes you feel loved. Don't rush this because of me. Don't do something you'll regret." He nuzzled at Luke's neck, slid his tongue over the muscle of Luke swallowing. "I don't want to disappoint you."

Luke contemplated whining. He thought a groan of pain might help. Maybe begging. But damn it, why did Noah have to be right this time? His nobility found the stupidest times to rear its ugly head. He kissed Noah. Not an "I agree" kiss, or for that matter, even an "I understand" kiss. More of a "I want you and me naked in the snow and I don't care about stupid candles or music, and I do feel loved, so can we just do this already" kiss. The need curled his toes and had him pulling Noah up against him on the bench. "You could be the first man to make me come right now, Noah Mayer. No one is around. My family knows where we are. My dad's not dumb." He lost his thoughts in the wet of their tongues and the press of their bodies, lost his mind in the the crushing strength of Noah losing his breath against their kiss. He hadn't thought his plan through thoroughly. His arms were pinned against Noah with no chance of reaching that damned button fly. Noah's tongue invading his mouth made him not mind quite as much. His own whimpering made him blush. One, two, three savage kisses that left him without words, breath or action, and then Noah pulled back.

He laid his hands across Luke's chest. "Jesus, I fucking want you."

Luke raised his eyebrow.

"But not like this, and not here."

Luke chewed on his bottom lip. "You're no fun. You know that, Noah? No fun at all." His eyes were calculatingly impish. He grabbed at Noah's jacket. "I can fix that." He slipped his tongue into his boyfriend's mouth. The groan that echoed into his mouth made him instantly hard. His legs tightened. His stomach clenched. "I never thought someone moaning could be so hot. Isn't that usually a pain response?"

"It was a pain response. Trust me. Kiss me again." Noah tilted his head to meet Luke's mouth better. He covered Luke's face in laughing, individual kisses and his hands slid to cover his thighs. "As you pointed out, your father isn't dumb. He knows we're down here. He knows, shit, he just knows. So we should go back to the farm. And I should go put ice on my dick." Noah eased himself off the bench and offered Luke his cane. "The pouts adorable, but it's not going to work." He ducked Luke's hands as they reached forward to grab him. "Not this time. Come on. We can walk back and you can tell me about your fantasies around you and me and Snyder Pond for the summer. I'd like to hear some of them."

"Fine, fine, you win." He took Noah's hand and the cane. "We'll go back, stuff ourselves with too much food. Then we'll curl up on the couch and watch old movies, but old like the 80s, not like black and white. Ones we can both enjoy. Later tonight, once the children and adults are asleep, I'll tell you about this daydream I've been having."

Noah whined until Luke told him one of his fantasy on the walk back. Luke's dream made Noah's ears red. "You really are the one with the imagination. I'm not sure that's anatomically possible, but I'm game if you are." Would his legs move that way? Did his back bend enough. Shit, would his body be able to keep up with it? Especially in the water. And what about Luke's? Would Luke's body be ready by the summer? Would the physical therapy really make him strong enough by then or at all? Panicked a little, Noah tightened his grip on Luke's hand. "I keep wanting to ask you what it's like to be regaining the strength of your legs, but I don't know how to ask or understand. I don't want you pushing yourself too hard. I worry."

"Me too, but I think my doctors would say something. And I've been cleared for more strenuous activity after each session." Luke paused. He stopped to look at Noah. "I don't know how to explain it exactly. It's like wanting control of part of you, knowing you should have it, and it being not quite there. It's scary, but not as scary as not feeling at all." He shrugged. "My brilliant writer's voice fails me when I try to explain this. I'm just glad that I'm healing. That I may some day have that control again." He leaned his stomach into Noah's and reached up to kiss him. "I'll be fine by the summer. Promise. And I'll push myself just enough, okay?" He couldn't get enough of Noah's mouth. His kisses became distracted as he thought about Noah's not quite asked question. How do explain about not having ownership of your body? How does someone else experience that? His grin became wicked as an idea began to form. "We should get back, right. Because you're such a good boyfriend, and Dad will be so pleased with us both. There's hot chocolate and coffee just waiting for us."

"That sounds perfect. Let's go." Noah offered one last quick slip of his lips across Luke's before they headed back to the farm.