Again, seriously. Last March, that’s exactly what happened to a Florida high school boy after he disarmed a fellow student who was aiming a loaded weapon at a third classmate. School spokesmen justified the hero kid’s suspension because, “If there is a potentially dangerous situation, Florida law allows the principal to suspend a student immediately pending a hearing.”

See? The school was only trying to avoid harm from a potentially dangerous situation, and when you’re in charge of guiding impressionable youth, it makes perfect sense to teach them “Never stop a gunman from shooting his intended victim, lest you create a potentially dangerous situation.”

More and more American schools honestly believe “fear for their lives” (without trying to defend themselves, because danger) is a perfectly cromulent lesson to teach kids. Last May, the New York Daily Newsranastorydiscussingthistrend,undertheincrediblydepressingheadline“Gunattackdrillsmorerealistic,intenseasschoolsbraceforapossible‘activeshooter’incident.”Tolistjustacoupleofexamples:

A suburban Chicago high school ran a “code red” drill with the gunmen shooting blanks in January. Last month, an Indiana school ran a shooting drill replete with blood and a body count.

Last year, an El Paso, Tex., school set up a shocking surprise lockdown simulation that enraged parents like Stephanie Belcher, whose son sent her a panicked text message.

“He said, ‘I’m not kidding. There’s gunshots and people screaming and we were locked in a storage closet,’ ” Belcher told KFOX-TV. “These kids thought that their classmates were being killed and that they could be next. There’s no excuse for that.”

This tedious and unamusing little screed reads like a freshman English major’s first attempt at getting published in the school paper. A handful of citations (most of which were lifted from the Daily News) for a country of 100,000 public schools and 50 million public school students and voila! A new “fad.” It’s literally happening everywhere!

They say that hyperbole is the language of libertarians, but libertarians are multilingual: they’re also fluent in sarcasm, cynicism and paranoia. Is it any wonder that libertarians like Miss Abel remain culturally irrelevant and politically impotent? Is that why they are so angry all the time?

Jake Boone

Sounds like you’re saying that Ms. Abel’s kettle must be very black indeed.

Have you ever considered responding to the words that were actually written in the article, instead of savaging whatever words you wish had been written?

So Abel DIDN’T call these isolated incidents in a land of 100,000 public schools and 50 million public school students a “hot new educational fad,” and she DIDN’T write that these isolated cases are “common enough that it’s not reasonable to expect any one person can keep up with them all”?

The quality of your commentary (and 99.99% of all internet commentary) is why I don’t argue with strangers on the internet. But do feel free to have the last word. Most people can’t resist.

Jake Boone

The “common enough that…” bit you quote isn’t referring to what you apparently think it’s referring to. Likewise, nowhere in the article does she say (or even imply) that these “drills” are “literally happening everywhere.”

Now I get that you’re using hyperbole there. But to then use your next paragraph to attack Ms. Abel for exactly what you just did? Yeah, I can see why you’d be disappointed with the quality of *my* commentary.

And as to the Hobson’s choice you attempted to set up there at the end; “Either let my bullshit stand via silence or admit that you can’t resist getting in the last word!”… well, good try, anyway.

The Real Stig

So which of the implicated school officials, Ms Abel so adroitly ascribed as being mentally ill, are you?

Aliel The Heretic

Ever watch American made action movies where scores of citizens are fleeing for their lives like sheep while they get slaughtered?