Friday, April 11, 2014

The seedy gay side of business

I've decided not to join for any more dinners with my dad's client. I'll refer to him as DC.

Joining my dad for client dinners has always been a rather odd affair. On one hand, I get a free meal in a swanky establishment and get to try some really expensive wine. On the other, the food is usually kinda shit for the price, my tastebuds are clearly not sophisticated enough to taste the difference between a 40$ napa valley and a 2,700$ 1959 Chateau Haut-Brion, and the company is usually just uncomfortably pathetic.

I've joined for probably 8 dinners with this DC so far. He is an arrogant balding closeted poof, head of M&A of an investment bank and throws his weight around like Naomi Campbell at community service. Incredibly diva-like and sassy to all the waiting staff, my dad, and me, it's just weird that we all tolerate him because he brings in a lot of business for my dad.

Anyway, at my previous dinner with him, I told him that I have a boyfriend. He was extremely curious after, but I didn't talk much (I told him that I am more a listener than a talker, which is bullshit because I love talking about myself). Why I told him about N was because he kept probing me about what or "who" is occupying my time now as I am idling around, to which I replied that I was going traveling to Koh Samui etc. etc., and he's like with who? Family? Can't be...and I said I was going for a guy's proposal to his boyfriend, and so I told him I was going with my boyfriend.

So my brain is a little disorganized right now, but let me backtrack and lay out who's at the dinner tables for these events.

DC is there, sitting rotund in his suit, pink shirt, hideous Hermes shockingly red tie. DC is married to a woman, and they have no kids (he is almost 50). It is alleged that his wife is lesbian.

Across from him sits W, a 28 year-old Mainland Chinese salesman dedicated to DC's account. W speaks horrible English, is openly gay, and is rather dim-witted. He tells everybody that he is married to a woman (who knows that he's gay but is smitten with him and harbors the hope that she might convert him), and has a boyfriend along with 5 other lovers or fuckbuddies who shower him with expensive presents (they are usually late 40s/early 50s Chinese businessmen). He's essentially a money boy, and was hired for the sole reason that he is DC's taste in men. Also, I suspect W has slept with DC, because DC alluded that W is the company's "most accommodating staff" while rubbing his shoulders and staring into his eyes. I almost threw up when I heard that.

Then L will usually trudge in late, her legs swollen from 8 months' of pregnancy. She is the family friend who spoke to me about HIV among gay men and how N and I may be headed for a promiscuous relationship because "almost all gay couples end up like that." She told me she has not "put a label on herself." Her husband is never present at these events, because he is too prissy for small talk. She means very well whenever she tries to help me with advice, but they usually are alarmingly pessimistic and I get pretty depressed after.

Then it's me and my dad, the two most normal people, smiling and drinking our wines quietly.

I am usually personally invited by DC himself, so even though I'm not an employer of my dad's company, I'm there somehow for the entertainment of DC. I've told my dad before that I'm uncomfortable around the leering eyes of DC, but my dad reassured me he knows to never go overboard with his children, because "the world knows I fiercely love and will protect my children."

This time however, he is even more lurid than before. We drank three bottles of wine along with a bottle of champagne, and DC was pretty drunk. Out of nowhere, he asked me, "so are you top or bottom?" My dad exploded. He told DC off "what kind of a question is that, his father is right here you little shit." There was a lot of tension in the air. W is a complete dumbnut, and tries to calm things down by talking about some work-related thing which annoys my dad even more. "W, you really are stupid some times. If you don't shut up right now, I will ask you to leave the restaurant immediately." L lumbers back from the bathroom, notices the tension in the air and asks a few questions around, and she ultimately asks me, "Well, did whatever DC ask you, did it offend you?"

I replied, "Well it's nothing much more than what creepy people on Grindr ask as a first question on a headless profile." Everybody became even quieter, and L laughed and said "Let's talk about Birkin bags instead." and proceeds to pull out her phone to show me pictures of Birkins since I said I don't know what they are and yes sorry, I'm gay but I don't watch Sex and the City because fuck that shit I prefer Breaking Bad.

My dad is visibly angry throughout, and he texts L to tell W to fuck off. Clearly my dad is angry at DC, but is lashing it out at W because he can't obviously be overtly rude to the client too much, but DC will feel my dad's anger through W. I sit there drinking my 4 glasses of wine.

Throughout the dinner after, DC kept toasting his wine glass to me. On separate occasions he also calls me "dear," holds my hand, and jabs my stomach. He asks me where do I go out, and he starts listing out gay bars in HK which I've never even heard of, and I tell him I don't like the gay scene that much, to which he scoffs (clearly offended) "what do you mean the gay scene?" "well, the promiscuous people that go to these places looking for sex" "Well, some people just go there to hang out, not to be seen or whatever."

Mmm, I emphatically nod.

It's just kind of sad really. He's a sexually deprived old vulture who thinks he's the king (queen is more fitting) of the world just because of his job title. I'm so glad I'm not like one of these folks.