BTS Blog Week: Suga [First Love]

Yes, yes I am aware that this is like the second time I’ve used this gif in two days, but it’s my bias, ok.

On this lovely Tuesday, we are going to be looking at my bias: MIN YOONGI AKA SUGA THE KING OF ALL KOREAN RAPPERS! (I exclude GD from this). Anyways Suga’s solo song from Wings is called “First Love,” and it’s basically his ‘love story’ with his first love, the piano. I apologize if this post is a little gif heavy, but he is my bias so what can I say?

“FIRST LOVE”:

The corner of my memoryA brown piano settled on one sideIn the corner of my childhood houseA brown piano settled on one side

I remember that momentWay taller than my heightThe brown piano that guided meI looked up to youI yearned for youWhen I touched you with my small fingerI feel so nice mom I feel so niceI played the piano wherever my hands took meI didn’t know your significance back thenBack then I was content with just looking at you

I remember back during my elementary school daysWhen my height became taller than yoursI neglected you when I once yearned for you soOn top of the white jade-like keyboardDust is piling onYour image that has been neglectedEven then I didn’t know your significanceNo matter where I amYou always defended that spotBut I didn’t know that would be the lastYou say don’t leave like this

Don’t worry even if I leaveYou’ll do well on your ownI remember when I first met youBefore I knew it you grew upThough we are putting an end to our relationshipDon’t ever feel sorry to meI will get to meet you againno matter what formGreet me happily then

I remember back then when I met you thatI had completely forgotten, when I was around 14The awkwardness was only for a moment, I touched you againEven though I was gone for a long timeWithout repulsionYou accepted meWithout you there’s nothingAfter the dawn, two of usWe welcomed the morning togetherDon’t let go of my hand forever, I won’t let go of you again either

I remember back thenWe burned up the last of my teen’sYes the days when we couldn’t see an inch in front of usWe laughed, we criedThose days with you,those moments are now in memoriesI said, grasping my crushed shoulderI really can’t do any moreEvery time I wanted to give upBy my side you saidBastard you can really do itYeah, yeahI remember back thenWhen I was fed up and lostBack then when I fell into a pit of despairEven when I pushed you awayEven when I resented meeting youYou were firmly by my sideYou didn’t have to say anythingSo don’t ever let go of my handI won’t let you go ever again eitherMy birth and the end of my lifeYou will be there to watch over it all

The corner of my memoryA brown piano settled on one sideIn the corner of my childhood houseA brown piano settled on one side

HERMIONE:
Okay, so my brain is dead from writing analyses of college things and honestly, these lyrics are seriously deep, so I am not going to go too in depth. But you could write an entire paper on this song, no lie. To begin with, the thing that’s always struck me about this song is its musicality: the way it slowly grows in intensity to the point where you can feel the emotion and rage spitting out at you through the lyrics.

I love Suga’s rapping because he can make his voice sound so beautifully unhingedand this song offers the perfect vehicle for his ability: it is essentially a story in and of itself, a narrative on the loss of innocence and the death of childhood. To start with, there are the symbolic implications of the piano. I think it’s pretty clear the piano is meant to represent the narrator’s first love…but why a piano? I mean, the majority of the song is based around the idea of finding this one love and how it’s stood by the narrator through his various struggles and trials, the “first love” at times presented as an actual lover (“After the dawn, two of us/ We welcomed the morning together”), at other times something like an older brother (“By my side you said/Bastard you can really do it”), and other times as a mother figure (“My birth and the end of my life/you will be there to watch over it all”).

I would interpret this as the piano not representing a single person or one specific first love; I would say that the symbol itself is something of a duality, sometimes indicating an idea, other the times posing as a person representing another aspect of that idea. And what would the most logical “first love” of a musician be? Music, of course! This explains the choice of the piano as a symbol, and it gives the song a certain amount of physical beauty, with Music being portrayed as a childhood lover, a teenage sweetheart, and a respite from depression and stress. I think there could be some direct references to Suga’s actual music career, as indicated in the lines: “We burned up the last of my teen’s/Yes the days when we couldn’t see an inch in front of us.” To me that sounds an awful lot like a depiction of his years as a kpop trainee, the “we” being his bangtan hyungs, and the music being the one thing that kept him from giving up…See, I told you I could write a paper on this song! But whoops this has already gotten terribly long…sorry Clara!

CLARA:
Ok, so Hermione might have gotten scolded a little for writing such a deep and beautiful analysis of “Reflection”, leaving me with nothing to do but make awkward connections to the short films, so with this song I am taking a little bit of a different approach. I’m a bit of a music nerd myself, so as well as looking at the actual lyrics of “First Love”, I am looking at the track itself and how that works with the lyrics to create the story.

The song is Suga’s love story with the piano. It begins softly, a line spoken by Suga with a few simple notes played in the background. It is, of course, stylized for artistic effects, but it gives the overall impression of a child playing the piano. As the song continues, the piano builds, becoming more complicated as Suga’s skill with the piano grows. The ticking of a metronome is also present for much of the background of the song. As the metronome ‘keeps time’ it also marks the beat of the rap and clocks in Suga’s time with the piano. Their time together is not unlimited.

At a point in the song, Suga turns away from the piano for a while. The piano becomes a metaphor for music as well as being his ‘first love’. Unwilling to lose his connection with the piano, Suga returns to his music. As the song continues it almost seems like he begins to talk in the piano’s voice: his voice takes on a bouncier tone when he speaks the words of the piano. (This is just my personal theory btw, so try not to read too much into it).
Suga goes on to talk about how the piano, now representing his music, continued to stay by his side through all the tough times of his life.

As they pledge to be loyal to each other and always remain by each other’s side, the piano disappears from the song. Music is still present in Suga’s life, but it no longer needs to constantly make its presence known. As it comes less often, it becomes more meaningful to Suga. The song reaches its climax. As the song winds back down and reaches its end, Suga repeats a line from the beginning of the song. He returns to his childhood, his life becoming a closed circle that begins and ends with music.

Your cover art for today was done by @squishlylilyoongi AKA CLARA QUEEN OF THE WORLD: