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Saddam Hussein gave an interview on British television on
Tuesday. He claims he's being confronted by a president who wants
a Middle East war to distract attention from a recession. Every
time he said Son of a Bush the network bleeped it.

Germany became president of the U.N. Security Council on
Monday. Iraq and Iran are chairing the U.N. Disarmament Conference
while Libya is chairing the U.N. Human Rights Commission. Colin
Powell can't handle this crowd, this is a job for James Bond.

Persian Gulf commander Tommy Franks is being investigated by
the U.S. Army for letting his wife sit in on top secret briefings.
It won't be a partisan issue. Democrats instinctively like any guy
whose wife doesn't trust him out of her sight.

Tulane University released research Monday saying those who
drink moderately decrease their risk of stroke. Celebrities have
known this for years. That's why Diana Ross always keeps a case of
Old Moderately in the passenger seat of her car.

Ted Turner told CBS News the ill-fated AOL Time Warner
merger cost him seven billion dollars. Martha Stewart said she's
lost $400 million this year. Anymore, if a media mogul tells you
this is his bridge night, it could mean cards or jumping.

The Kaiser Family Foundation released its annual study of
sex on TV Tuesday. It found the percentage of TV shows depicting
sex or implying sex jumped from ten percent two years ago to
fourteen percent now. The question is, whose idea was it to
release President Clinton's White House press conferences into
syndication?