Monday, May 17, 2010

We did it. After four months of despair, actors dropping out, rewrites, cuts and another actor dropping out just before the first dress rehearsal, we successfully put on three shows.

We cut out one major character; we cut another several pages of dialogue; we even missed a few lines on each night. In the end, it was a success. Even our last minute casting of a minor role worked well.

The highlights?

- On the first night I had a real bottle of whisky to hand round in the last scene, but forgot to tell one of the actors. She proceeded to take a large slug of what she thought was cold tea and nearly choked. It was all we could do to prevent ourselves from corpsing.

- On the second night, in the same scene, one of the ladies took the bottle from another a bit too quickly and ended up spilling some down her chin.

- The cast party afterwards...just because we could finally relax.

- Having a a cut up kotex sanitary towel stuck on my face three nights running in place of a beard.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

"Depression isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign that you've been too strong for too long."

When you carry a mental load on your own for a long time, it will wear you down as much as carrying a physical load will. The difference is that no one can see your load and tend to dismiss it.

I've heard it said, that when you share a burden it's eased. That's not always true as some burdens cannot be shared, not matter how much people listen and understand. That doesn't mean you don't need support, just that no one can ease the pressure.

At the moment I have a play to get ready for, a council to fight, a business to run and various other mental and emotional pressures to deal with. Of those, only the play is positive. The hardest to deal with are the unmoveable bureaucracies that I depend on.

I'm looking forward to the play. Performing gives me a lift, especially when what I do makes people laugh with me. I'm also looking for a break from the other pressures so I can rebuild my life: I'm just not sure when it will come.