Naming your child is a decision with lifetime consequences. Choose a name that will be an asset to your child, not a liability.

If you pick any of the following unbelievably bad baby names, you might as well pin a “kick me” sign on your baby’s back at the same time.

Adolf. It should go without saying that you don’t name your baby after a mass murderer, even if you meant to name your baby after the Swedish Arctic explorer Adolf Erik Nordenskiöl.

A Boy Named Sue. Johnny Cash had a big hit in the 1960’s with his song about a man’s quest for revenge on a father who gave him a feminine name. It’s not a good idea to give a child a name that may result in teasing or people thinking he or she is the opposite sex. Some names like Kelly or Tracy are common for boys and girls, but name a boy Sue is asking for trouble.

Homer / Marge. Don’t name a child after an annoying cartoon character. That only sets them up for guilt by association. You may not know some of the annoying cartoon character names like Dee Dee or Elmyra or Angelica or Alvin or Elmer, so do a name check first.

Xchyler. The first day of school each year is hard enough by itself. Why make it worse by giving your child a name that is difficult to pronounce?

Donthireme. Studies have shown that when it comes time to find a job, you lower your chances if you have a name that says, “Don’t hire me.” Sadly, strongly ethnic names get fewer callbacks than more popular common names. If you name your child LeMonjello or Orangejello, get ready for a life of challenges. If you must pass on an uncommon family name for reasons of heritage, at least make it a middle name.

Mahershalalhashbaz. The Bible is a popular place to find names, but you may want to keep looking after finding this one. Sometimes short and sweet is best. One study of male CEOs noticed a high percentage of them have one syllable first names. Think Bill Gates, Tim Cook, or Bob Iger.

Incarcerateme. Researchers have found that juveniles with unpopular first names are more likely to engage in criminal behavior. Such kids may get into trouble because a weird name makes it harder to fit in.

Plain Jane. Okay, admittedly not anywhere as bad as these others, but you can do better. The most popular trendy names leave people feeling less unique, and every child wants to be special. Unless you are picking a very, very popular name because of family connections, you may want to pick a name in the Goldilocks zone - not super trendy and not too unique - just right.

P.I.G. Sometimes it is not the name that is worst, it is the initials. A 1999 study revealed that people with negative sounding initials like P.I.G. or B.A.D. have worse health than people with positive sounding initials like W.I.N. or T.O.P. The TV character Archie Bunker was in an All In The Family episode where he wanted his soon-to-be grandson named after him - Archie Stanley Stivic. He gave up the idea when he realized what the baby’s initials would be.

Beyoncé. When you saddle your children with a famous name, you may be hobbling them with a lifetime of comparison. Better to not see them compete with someone who has already achieved a level of success that would be hard to match.

Naming a baby is an important event and should be given the serious attention it deserves. You want the best for your child so start off with the best name possible.