I'm adopted, he's in the Air Force, and all we really want is family.
After 8 miscarriages, and one failed adoption, this blog is a journal through infertility, adoption, and now parenthood, now that Isaac has filled our baby carriage, and it's about to be filled again with a surprise, successful (so far) pregnancy!
It's sometimes blunt, sometimes improper, but always real. This is our story.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Oh my gosh... What a freaking week. I think this picture best explains where we've been.

We've been struggling with keeping Isaac eating, and by Tuesday morning, early, we were all miserable. Isaac was up several times that night, and at 5 am, had not eaten in over 12 hours, and hadn't had any wet diapers. We decided not to wait until the doctor was open, and went to the ER. They got us back quickly (unlike the 7 hour wait the week before). They did x-rays and blood work. A few hours later they admitted him.

It was determined that (even after antibiotics that started on Sunday) his ears had gotten MUCH worse. He also tested positive for RSV.

They decided not to do a swallow test, becuase after the speech therapist watched him eat (and tried feeding him), they determined that most of the issues had to do with combinations of him being sick, and nothing more. They gave me some tips to help him eat better, sucking out his nose before each feedings, and swaddelign him, to keep him 'less distracted' by his moving body. The goal right now is 24oz/per day. Yesterday we got to 21oz, so we're headed in the right direction.

We ended up staying 2 nights, and the antibiotic seemed to make such a difference. He was back to my happy baby the morning they released us (Friday). Yesterday, I caught up on all the stuff that had been ignored all week.

There was a light snow that came in the first night we were there. When Travis came to visit the next morning, he and Isaac stood at the window and watched it fall.

He has a nervous thing he does, in scratching his head. He'll also do it when he is really upset (crying). With his IV on the top of his head, he grabbed it a couple times. We've figured out that the gloves they make for babies don't work, he can get them off... however, SOCKS work great. My Mom got him these socks for Christmas (because "every baby needs a pair of Santa socks"). He would look at the 'man' on his hands and smile... it was cute!

I'm glad to be home. And I'm looking forward to having my healthy happy baby back.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

On weekends, if Isaac get's up early, one of us goes and changes him, the other makes the bottle and feeds him. This morning, I changed him, then went and crawled back into bed. Trav kept Isaac in the other room, and about 10am, came back in with him. He brought him in to snuggle.

There is no better way to spend my Saturday morning then suuggeling with my little guy. I really don't want him to get in the habit of being in our bed, (since it's so hard to break), so I think that we'll keep this as our very limited Saturday morning thing.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Never would I believe that I could be SO THRILLED about this number, but it's the number of ounces that Isaac ate today!

He's supposed to be at 30 ounces per day.

This is the closest we've gotten in weeks. We still had to fight him, and there still was 45 minuet feeding sessions.

BUT

HE

ATE

25

OUNCES

!!!!!

And that's a great way to start the weekend!

PS: It's crazy warm here today, like 69*, we actually put a jacket on Isaac and took a walk around the neighborhood. He sat in his stroller for the first time!! I took a picture, I'll try to upload it tomorrow. So cute!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Today was a really hard day with Isaac's eating. We got close to 20 ounces, but still not close to 30 ounces.

He also didn't sleep well, and woke up about every 45 minuets, which meant that I never could get to far into any one project I needed to get done.

By the time Trav came home from work, I told him I resigned from being Mom for the evening. I'm so blessed that he happily took over 100% of care for Isaac, and I got to work out in the bedroom and even got a backrub before bed, and generally recharge!

Ok, I've worked on the digital side of my blog a little bit, so this is probably all you can count on as a post today.

The one thing you'll want to check out is the new tab on the top that says MONTH BY MONTH.

When Isaac was born, we decided to get a build a bear for both him and his birth mom. We got one for her, not only to have, but so she would have something the same as him, and could see compared to the bear, how big he was getting.

I know my mom LOVES these pictures, and has told several people about them (even if they aren't adopting, they get the bear for grandparents out of town).

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Last night, the formula change no longer seemed to be working, he was back to biting the nipple and screaming. I called the doctor this morning, and made an appointment for tomorrow. By mid afternoon, he still had only eaten 9oz, so I called the doctor again to see if we should feed him some Pedialyte. They suggested that we go to the ER. We showed up about 3:30pm.

It was the middle of the day... how busy could it be?

Ha! We were there on a RECORD BREAKING day... over 107 patients. About 6pm, we were 20th in line, provided a 'higher level' emergency didn't come in. They gave me Pedialyte to feed him while we were waiting, I had tried formula again, and he outright refused it.

At 8pm, we were 14th in line, and we were both tired. He had hardly slept, and I was exhausted. Travis was there by then. Since we were just sitting there waiting, I told him to stay at work, and get everything done he needed to, so that if I needed him home tomorrow, he could do it easier.

By 10pm, we decided that if all they were going to do was give us Pedialyte, we would be fine, we could get through the night, and just follow up with the appointment we already had. That way we could go home, and they would have one less case to deal with. I felt so bad for the nursing staff, they were doing the best they could, and some people were really being nasty. They said they were going to try to get some cases that just needed to be 'reviewed' by the doctor done and out, and we were on that list. They brought us back just after that, and the doctor confirmed he wasn't in distress, he didn't have any sores in his mouth, and suggested we try goats milk. What the what?

We thanked them, checked out, and left. On the way home, Trav stopped and got some more Pedialyte, so at least if he wasn't drinking formula, he was still drinking something.

We gave our boy a bath, he then actually ate about 4oz of formula, and then tucked him in.

Monday, January 2, 2012

While we were visiting my parents over the holidays, Isaac's schedule got way out of wack. No matter how hard we tried, we were unable to keep the schedule. Because his sleeping got messed up, so did his eating. Throw in an up-all-night ear infection and we just threw in the towel.

We hoped that once we got home things would get back to normal, and we could begin our routine again. When we went for Isaac's last Wednesday, they of course weighed him again. He was the same weight as he was the week before in the urgent care. His percentage dropped too ( he had gone up to the 13/15%, and is now back down at the 5ish%).

The doctor didn't think it needed to be urgently looked at, so we moved to bi-weekly weight checks (instead of monthly). He told me Isaac should be eating 30oz per day, and to keep track of his intake.

Wednesday through Saturday, he ranged between 18oz and 22oz. Sunday, his intake was even lower, by 1:00pm (after church), he had only eaten 6oz. He would suck and gulp 4-5 times, and then would bear down, and kinda grunt. A friend of ours said that both her daughters did the exact same thing, and that they were lactose intolerant. At that point, Trav and I were desperate, and we stopped by the store on the way home to get some soy formula.

That afternoon, Isaac doubled his morning formula intake, and we were up to 12 oz. By the end of the day, we were up to 20 oz... still not good but better. And no more straining.

Today was rougher, because the sudden (but necessary) formula change 'clogged the plumbing'. Let's just say, you know you're a Mom when.... well, just know that Vaseline, q-tips, and lots of wipes were used, and he ended up in the bath!

We thought things were going better, he was defiantly eating better, until tonight. At his night time feeding, he only ate 4oz (this is usually always a 6oz or 8oz) feeding, and began the bear down-grunting thing again.

There is obviously something wrong. I guess it's compounded with the fact that he's so tiny as it is, he doesn't have the weight to loose (or the option of not gaining weight).

The doctors office was closed today. Guess where we're going to be tomorrow?!?

Sunday, January 1, 2012

January: Super sucky! We had many many many tears as a result as our failed adoption on New Years Eve. I also had my second bout with pertussis (whooping cough). It took 3 ER visits, and 2 doctors visits to figure it out.

February: The month started with our marriage being rocked to the core. I didn't write much about it, because I didn't know how it would end, either divorce, or stronger then ever. Obviously, it turned out we got stronger. I had minor surgery to clear out mucus plugs as a result of the pertussis. My blog started drama with family members (ugh!), and we had a Snowopoclipse.

March: Spring came, and then more snow. We built our raised garden beds. We sent in our taxes, applying for the adoption tax credit for our failed adoption.

April: I did 'A-Z' blogging, but sorta stopped at W....

May: The start of the month was consumed with the OneSolePurpose 5k/10k event that was wildly successful. The second half of the month we spent a lot of time helping out after Joplin Tornado, and our friends that lost everything.

June: My parents came to visit and we had a blast, and then I had a BFP. I miscarried right after, but it added one more to my number of losses. Eight. That's a number I thought I'd never associate with that.

July: We took a trip to Wisconsin to go to a family wedding, and I had fun on Twitter! I stayed quite on the blog, but we also were matched, met Isaac's birth parents, and our little boy was born this month!

August: I turned 28 (!) and we went to Kentucky to pick up our baby boy. We stayed there a week, and then came home after the ICPC as a family. Lots of family came to visit, and we adjusted our lives now hat we had a baby involved!

September: We began getting into a routine after Trav went back to work, and also wrote his birthparents their first letter. We sized kids for their shoes (for OneSolePurpose), and continued to be blessed by Isaac. Also, my back wasn't adjusting well to holding a baby, so weekly visits to get adjusted began!

October: Our family went to the pumpkin patch, and made memories. We also dedicated Isaac at church surrounded by our extended family. We also began cloth diapering!

November: We spent this month being thankful for our family of four, Isaac kept growing, and we started planning our family trip to New Mexico.

December: Isaac experienced his first snow, we traveled to New Mexico, and we finished out our year remembering the failed adoption a year ago, but being grateful for the little boy that has stolen our hearts!