Our say: We need courage to face suicide, depression

Courage comes in many forms, and most of them don't get you any medals. A week ago we ran a story about the courage and persistence that got Rachel Vander Kolk, a standout athlete and a recent graduate of Severna Park High School, through a couple of years most of us wouldn't even want to contemplate — the years after her twin sister, Tracy, committed suicide.

One manifestation of that courage was that Rachel, at the urging of a former lacrosse teammate and a coach, started weekly sessions with a psychologist. Before that, she said, "I wouldn't let myself feel anything because I thought it was a sign of weakness." That's a common attitude, and it always leads to trouble. Denial of reality — including the reality of emotions generated by a loved one's death — never turns out well.

Although Tracy's suicide came at the end of a school year and Rachel didn't use the services offered by the county's schools, she now believes the schools should encourage parents and children to talk more about depression. "People don't understand talking about it won't induce it," she said.

As it happened, the day after we published Rachel Vander Kolk's story, the national conversation about suicide, depression and mental health got a jump-start in the most painful way imaginable: The story broke that Robin Williams, the much-loved comedian and actor who had made an indelible impression on American culture for decades, had committed suicide. Williams had substance abuse problems on and off throughout his career, was struggling with depression and reportedly had recently been diagnosed with early-stage Parkinson's disease.

The American Academy of Suicidology estimates that each suicide leaves an average of six survivors, and their emotional scars never entirely heal. And you can't necessarily tell whether someone is suffering from depression or is at risk for suicide by looking at their achievements, their professional success or the face they show the world. No passing remark that someone is thinking of harming himself or herself can be sloughed off. Having such thoughts yourself means you should seek help — talk to your doctor, call a help line, talk to friends and family. Don't bottle it up.

As for depression, the American Psychological Association writes on its website, "It's normal to feel sad after a job loss, divorce or death in the family, but those feelings eventually wane. With depression, however, feelings of sadness, hopelessness or despair last two weeks or more and interfere with people's day-to-day lives, such as their work, ability to sleep or even their interest in eating." This can affect not just emotional well-being but physical health and, of course, raises the risk of suicide. As Mike Drummond of Arundel Lodge noted on this page yesterday, the National Institute of Mental Health estimated in 2012 that nearly 7 percent of the adult U.S. population had had a major depressive episode.

Treatment is available, both through therapy and medication. But the first and hardest step is to realize that you have to seek help — or that you have to get help for a loved one. Both steps take courage.