about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really

and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself,

'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best..?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one

side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit', reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the

prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . . HOLY MOTHER OF

GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me

up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over

and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the

fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples

on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my

body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to

a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to

avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one

note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you

zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged

from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second

burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at

that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and

surveyed the scene. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so

from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples

were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with

Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the

drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my

About Me

I am a psychologist. I was a missionary before I sustained a serious auto crash. I work with Thinking Pays as the director of research and development. My message is:
Refuse to let other people define your boundaries and enforce your limitations. The seeds of greatness are on the inside of you and they are waiting to be birthed. Hold onto your flexibility and sense of humor…you will need it on the ride of life! It is seldom a smooth ride but you can be the driver. There will be falls along the way but the difference between a success and a failure is choosing to get up one more time in what ever way you can!