Wisdom From Divorce: Staying Together For The Kids Is Still Work

When weighing up ending the marriage, couples often consider staying together for the sake of the children. Make no mistake though, this is not an easy solution:

Whether or not the marriage gets solidified in the time you stay together for the children, you still have to deal with each other and with the children. There’s still a need to work on some issues.

Kimberly and her husband had been married for eighteen years when he said, “I don’t love you anymore.” They decided that staying together would be in the best interests of their children who were six and ten at the time but it didn’t last long.

It would be wonderful if the decision to stay together for the children was made consciously with intention and deliberation, with both parties negotiating and understanding what that truly means in terms of their parenting together. I suspect that that sort of discussion doesn’t happen very often. I suspect that often times, it’s one spouse who makes the decision, silently, and then slowly and gradually checks out of the marriage … And may be that’s OK. Maybe that more gradual progression towards divorce makes a big decision a little easier to make.