Short Takes

Holy Moses!

There’s a rumor floating around the web that spiritual leaders from eighteen southern and midwestern states have agreed to suspend the following commandments for as long as Donald Trump remains in office:

The commandments will be reinstated when a Democrat is elected president and an eleventh will be added: “Thou shalt not grant women the right to choose.”

A Deep Topic

There’s been a lot of hubbub in right-wing media about something called the “Deep State.” Apparently it’s a dreadful thing, like habitual lying or sexual predation. We have three questions: what’s a “Shallow State,” who has one, and how’s it working out so far?

An Extinction of Biblical Proportion

After years of careful study, we “happy few” on The Other Side of Obvious have come to the conclusion that the dinosaurs did not become extinct because they missed the Ark. The kangaroos made it, and they had at least as far to go. In our opinion, it’s more likely that Noah refused to let the Tyrannosaurs board, and the other dinosaurs walked off in protest.

Employment Advice

If your goal is to drain the swamp, don’t hire an alligator. (According to MSNBC, more than 180 of President’s Trump’s appointees are former lobbyists.)

The Shape of a Remake?

Are we the only ones who think that “The Shape of Water” was a remake of “Splash”?

A Shift in NRA Strategy

We noticed that the Remington Firearms Company filed for bankruptcy a while back because revenue from firearm sales had dropped 27% since the last election. The reason, postulated by the usual pundits, was that sales had tanked because Donald Trump was elected, which meant that “Crooked Hillary” and the elites wouldn’t be coming after the guns of Second Amendment loving Americans.

If we follow that train of thought to The Other Side of Obvious: wouldn’t it be better for the gun business if the NRA supported Democrats?

Brain Enhancement

We saw an advertisement on television for a brain supplement that features an ingredient originally found in jellyfish. Our question: what’s the average IQ of a jellyfish?

Fear of Immigrants

We understand that some Americans are worried that immigrants from “sh*thole” countries will take their jobs. Don’t take this the wrong way, but if you’re worried that a nineteen-year-old immigrant with a fourth-grade education who speaks English as a second language is going to take your job, then the problem isn’t the immigrant.