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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Why Do Orthodox Communities Still Cover Up Sexual Abuse?

I recently came across this article about Deborah Feldman, the
formerly Orthodox woman who wrote a famously unflattering book about her
departure from her community. I know it's old news, but there is a part
in here that really supports the point I made in an earlier post, namely that Jewish identity in
insular communities is often built on sand. Here the author (who I am
neither condemning nor condoning) remarks on the phenomenon of “irrational
anger” that I highlighted in situations of abuse:

I
didn't think the book would get this much publicity, but I knew that I would
get a lot of hate mail. When people do lash out at me, the funny thing that
comes to mind is that five or six years ago, if someone had done what I'm doing
now, I would have lashed out too. I would have felt such irrational anger if
someone was out there making my life look that sad and pathetic, and making me
feel that manipulated and powerless, I would be furious! And I'd do everything
I could to justify my own life and why I was staying in it.

A similar idea was
expressed by Judy Brown, author of Hush, who also left the Chassidic community,
in a recent interview on NBC which is regrettably no longer available
on YouTube. In explaining the reaction and the dilemma of the frum community,
she says, "If our way of life doesn't prevent our men from turning
into beasts, then what's the point of our way of life?" I submit that it
is this very kind of thinking that forces the less intellectually honest to
annihilate victims rather than own up.