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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Timing is Everything

It's that time of year again. The time when turkeys start hanging out in bad neighborhoods hoping to witness some heinous crime and then trade their testimony for entry into the witness protection program. When the air is filled with those same ten seasonal songs that have been played every year since time immemorial. And when every musical artist with a flagging career releases an album featuring their renditions of those ten songs. The time of year when retailers begin force feeding us holiday cheer and cheerfully remind us that it is better to give than to receive; in hopes that we will give them our cash. When the first glimmers of panic begin to surface through our facade of calm; as we begin to realize that time is running out and we still haven't found the perfect gifts. But despite the time of year most of us manage to keep calm and carry on as though everything was business as usual. And then there are these people.

Now I get it; a great deal is hard to pass up. And there are some great Black Friday deals at Best Buy this year. But nine days in advance? Really? I don't care how big a tv they're selling for $9.99 no way would you catch me out there that far in advance (ok maybe if the tv was 90" plus). I have better things to do with my time. Like life.

And then there are these folks.

This house has been lit like this for almost a week now. And while the tradition of covering our homes in enough lights to signal alien cultures and set the efforts of Al Gore back by decades is something I embrace, both because I am a sci-fi geek and because I find Al Gore an inconvenient individual, and which I enjoy as much as any other American; I do feel it best to wait until the turkey has been consumed before hailing the mothership. Here in the south jumping the gun on the decorations is usually evidence of a "you might be a redneck if..." joke just waiting to happen. It bears noting (since I don't like to be an ass; no really) that this seemingly premature display of phosphorescent home bling may have a perfectly legitimate purpose. Given that this is a military town it is not uncommon for the families of Marines who will be deploying before Christmas to celebrate, complete with decorations and galactic lighthouse, early rather than miss sharing in the festivities. If that be the case then it is only right that they receive a bye on the otherwise inappropriate timing.