Taylor Momsen is Too Cool For This

Just when you think Miley Cyrus has pushed the boundaries of institutionalized jalbait, Taylor Momsen shows up to remind everybody that someone younger than you is always waiting in the wings to show you up. (I’m watching you, Just Jared Jr. — Not like that!) On that note, here’s a girl who’s only claim to fame is being on Gossip Girl, and okay, growing tired of sex at age 16, yet she’s acting like the cover of Revolver is cool, “but it’s no Kerrang! I guess.” As if she knows any better. Just smile, hold the guns in your underwear and if anyone asks, you said you were a sophomore English major. Or better yet, a grad student. Is prison scary?

I’d like to think she’s was laughing at us all, but she ain’t. It’s a disturbingly unattractive cover. She’s so plain and boring and the clothes, make-up, hair, guns and Pretty Feckless don’t change that. . I’ve seen Gossip Girl and she’s a nothing with little talent and no charisma (and that’s saying something because it’s not a cast stacked with talent).

Unless this girl is fucking amazing at the mic, I don’t see what’s so great about her. She might actually be skinnier and more annoying than Avril Lavigne. That’s impressive, and though I’ve never heard this brat’s music, I’m starting to really hate her. I’m also pretty annoyed with the editor of this magazine who thought “Sex sells, sex sells… 16-year-old girl!” If she were an adult, I’d suggest she eat more sandwiches before she strip down like that, but I guess pedophiles like ’em small and fragile, right? Plow away, boys.