Best moment of the day: TWO people said that my bracelet was “very Lady Gaga”. I am honored. Especially because the only thing the 120lb singer and I have in common is our nationality. I cannot dance nor sing like that fabulous woman. I could try, but it would not be pretty…

…Then again I know a few old guys down at the Gun Club that wouldn’t mind seeing me try…and a few women.

Speaking of women wanting to watch me dance, I have the “best-over-heard-quote of the month!” Okay, that has nothing to do with women watching me dance. But you know exactly what I mean; you walk by a group of people and catch the last sentence of their conversation. *Note: watch Louis Black’s stand up “if it wasn’t for my horse, I would’ve gone to college.”
So, the way that the “funniest-over-heard” quote came about was really all my fault. Since 8th grade, I had an obsession with writing down crazy things that people would say. Whether it was all over my notebooks, planners, or my own arms, I had a complete record of quotes. Call me a weirdo, but I can’t refrain from writing these absurd things down! I have transferred all the scribbles into a 12 page word document. That’s a lot of quotes. (I still write them down today.)

Before announcing the “best over-heard quote of the month”, I’d like to share some of the past winners:

Sept 2009, “You don’t talk to strippers, they’re not people.”
Nov 2009, “It looks like your thighs have breasts.”
Jan 2010, “This whole house is a flea market!”
Feb 2010, “He was supposed to be dying a long time ago, but…”

I just realized that while my objective was to share my hilarious outlook on other people’s speech, I instead just proved how odd I am and you’re probably picturing how creepy I would look walking by these conversations alone and laughing to myself. But I don’t care! I have no shame. I think it’s amusing and that’s all that matters.

So here we are! The best over-heard-quote for the month of March is:

“Yikes, that woman has a stop-sign for a face.”
That MUST have been one ugly woman…now that I think of it, I hope they weren’t referring to me as I passed by them.
…Of course they weren’t, I’m unbelievably gorgeous!