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Topic: On Good Form (Read 5456 times)

The following are some general guidelines for adhering to good form. This is by no means a complete guide to practicing decency of form and one should always use discretion in any given situation.

1) Never Fake the Funk. - Pretending to be knowledgeable in any subject is the fastest way to permanently discredit oneself. By falsely purporting to have a particular understanding, not only have you likely exposed your own intellectual inadequacy, but you have also squandered an opportunity to potentially gain knowledge. This is what is known by many as "Faking the Funk" or, more commonly, a "charlatan". Most people are quite eager to share what they know and are grateful for the opportunity to do so, usually to a fault. If two or more fools fake the funk together for a protracted period of time, they begin to recursively feed off the imbecility of one another. The resulting cascade of ignorance condenses into a violently unstable stupidity nexus, the fallout from which has severely deleterious effects on the intelligence of anyone within its expanding sphere of influence. This is how such things as the "KKK" and weak "Castle Doctrines" were formed.2) Do Not Dishonor Yourself. - Wounding an opponent with an attack of intentionally bad form only reveals the attacker's lack of skill. In a duel, verbal or otherwise, there is a great deal more to be had than a winning kill-shot. The chance to study the technique of your opponent, thereby improving your own technique, should not be ignored. An attack of characteristically bad form can be described as having an indefensible target with the intention of the attack being deliberately offensive, personal, and debilitating. In example, targeting the known death of a loved one, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, etc. as a weak point; since the object of the attack is something that cannot be readily defended/changed and should never have to be defended in the first place, the attack is considered of bad form. Once provoked by such an attack, one may respond in kind and observers of the ill-formed offense are expected to call attention to the poor nature of the attack in question (Most people already comply with this through an involuntary exclamation, such as "Damn, man!" or "Whoa!"). Attacking the defenseless is an act without honor.3) When the Horse is Dead, Stop Beating It. - Unless it is really, really funny to continue doing so. If your victory is epic, it is not bad form to tell of just how fucking awesome you and/or your team are in your pursuits; but for the love of all that is reasonable, don't continuously exalt the same success or contribution over-and-over as though trying to run for political office unless you single-handedly cured fucking cancer. Those who have songs sung of their deeds never rest on the laurels of their accomplishments.4) Gender, ethnicity, and sexual orientation are not a basis for determining competence. - Men, women, and variations thereon have equal potential in combat, intellectual pursuits, guile, leadership, etc. Never underestimate your opponent and remember that everyone is also equally capable of unimaginable stupidity. There is a cure, however: we have discovered, through careful experimentation, that people cease their stupid behaviors around the same time they stop breathing.

5) Give credit where it is due. - A decent leader will always edify those that contribute positively. Intentionally taking credit for the work of another is an act of bad form and cowardice. The expression of gratitude and proper acknowledgement, when appropriate, is essential to the practice of good form. Furthermore, it is bad form of the highest order to deceive others with promises of compensation and then tell them to be grateful with what they have instead of delivering on one's commitments. Somewhat like guaranteeing someone that you will bring them water immediately, two weeks later urinating on their leg, and then telling them that they are wrong to be angry: you aren't pissing on them; it's raining. Such a person or act has been dubbed a "Lucketree" or "Bushery", so named to shame the guilty. Fuck those people; they deserve whatever respective doom is coming to them and we should all endeavor to hasten its arrival.

6) Ignorance and stupidity must be challenged. - If no one ever told you that the planet we are on is roughly spherical, how would you know otherwise? Knowledge and advancement are based upon the discoveries and achievements of our predecessors. We primarily base our beliefs on what we have been instructed to perceive as true, though our perceptions are most vulnerable to deception and faulty information. In our attempts to communicate with one another, we distort the way we view ourselves and the world around us. To quote Jean-Paul Sartre, "L'enfer, c'est les autres," usually translated as "Hell is other people." It has been said that none of us truly speaks; we operate a machine called language. This machine squeaks and it groans, always breaking down when needed the most. We try to mend the machine by adding patchwork repairs in order to make it more effective (such as body language and tone of voice), but we are never readily able to properly convey a true understanding of one another. Some people are in need of being directly informed of how to better operate the machines that are language, good form, and civility. If someone goes through their life as an awful jackass and no one ever informs them of their undesirable behavior, how would they know of their failings? What if you were unintentionally being horribly rude and were completely unaware of it; would you not want to be told? In most cases, it is better to potentially wound someone with a candid remark than to leave them to the humiliation that they will inevitably receive should they persist in their inanity. Then again, sometimes it is delightfully satisfying to observe the well-earned humiliation of the arrogantly ignorant and revel in their embarrassment.

7) Be True To Your Word. - Do what you have stated you will do. If you cannot follow through with a commitment, it is necessary to inform those affected as quickly as possible in order to show good form. Further, it is one thing to make a promise and entirely another to "Give Your Word". A promise is something that will be done to the best of one's ability; giving your word to someone is tantamount to saying "I defend this statement with the very essence of my being." All that anyone can truly own in this existence is the integrity of their word. Wantonly breaking one's word destroys the character of the individual, causing deflated self worth and a proclivity for untrustworthy, disloyal actions. Traitorous actions perpetrated against purported friends are among the worst examples of bad form.8) Only a great fool turns their back on an opponent. - Underestimation of an enemy almost always results in defeat. Remember that prey is most dangerous when wounded and that laughing at someone who is genuinely enraged is a dangerous thing to do indeed. If someone is driven to the edge, they become the very essence of unpredictability. Never let your guard down, for no one is ever absolutely prepared for the monstrous depravity of which a person of even the mildest nature is capable. Like child beauty pageants and carnival clowns... terrifying.

9) Never grant your enemy the satisfaction of your tears. - In the face of an honorable defeat, be gracious. Should you lose, accept it with dignity. Do not whine about the inequities that resulted in your failed attempt; instead, learn from the experience and discern how to exploit those inequities to your own advantage. Develop better tactics, become better equipped, and most importantly: do the necessary research. Armed thus, you will be adequately prepared to elicit the lamentations of your enemies. When they cry, drink their tears.

10) There is only one rule to remember in dealing with the devil: Don't.

Fear I liked it. It read well and was humorous but there was an important point to it and it's one I have tried to raise my sons with and live by and that is "teach him (them) correctly" I think you and Craig are doing just that and your careful thought in writing this shows exactly that. Please forgive the grammar and punctuation. Rod

Fear I liked it. It read well and was humorous but there was an important point to it and it's one I have tried to raise my sons with and live by and that is "teach him (them) correctly" I think you and Craig are doing just that and your careful thought in writing this shows exactly that. Please forgive the grammar and punctuation. Rod

You honor us with your kind words. Thank you for taking the time to read it and also for your generous complements.