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Dr. Fiction interviews Emperor Palpatine of Star Wars and discusses the style of villainy that includes maniacal sadists.

Question: What popular villains fit into this category?

DR. FICTIONContinuing our series of interviews with popular villains from various schools and philosophies of villainy, please join me in welcoming Emperor Palpatine of Star Wars, graduate suma cum laude from the Academy of Cackling Homocidal Maniacs. Welcome, Emperor! I’m told that you have a most distinct laugh.

EMPEROREh-hee-hee-hee!

DR. FICTIONVery impressive, especially the thunder and lightning! What is the purpose of this iconic laugh, may I ask?

EMPEROR(folding hands demurely) It is designed to accomplish three things. I have expounded upon these items in my graduate thesis, entitled, “The Art of the Mirthless Laugh.” First, the laugh intimidates the hero with a show of bravado. Secondly, it expresses how much I enjoy pure evil. Third, it gives the viewer the impression that I may possibly have a screw loose.

DR. FICTIONYou don’t say! What sort of situations or contexts are most appropriate for the diabolical cackle?

EMPERORThe “mirthless laugh” is the correct term for it.

DR. FICTIONOh, excuse me.

EMPERORThe laugh is often used as a gloating or intimidation technique. The best laughs can go on for quite a while, but heroes are annoyingly impatient and turn the tables just when we villains have gotten into the groove of the laugh. The nerve! The gall! The insufferable ignorance of art! Still, despite their early demises, due to the aforementioned impatient heroes, some villains have made masterful use of it at their deaths, as they begin with a laugh and end with a scream just before they expire. The use of cataclysmic weather special effects, cued by the mirthless laugh, is also encouraged.

WITCH(streaks by overhead on broom, followed by a trail of smoke) Eeeeheeeheeheehee!

EMPERORNo. Her broom’s on fire. She’s top of her Tornado effects class, but can’t seem to manage Diabolical Flames effects. That’s why she prefers bicycles. They’re less combustible.

DR. FICTIONShe appears quite accomplished in the art of the mirthless laugh.

EMPERORSometime we’ll have to treat you to a duet.

DR. FICTIONI would be most interested in hearing it! Now, can you describe for me, in your own words, the specialization of the Academy?

EMPERORWe love evil for the sake of evil and we believe that madness and genius go hand-in-hand. For example, Rothbart, from The Swan Princess, can’t help being evil and he has mastered the echo technique that amplifies the effect of the laugh.

DR. FICTIONEmperor, do you have any advice for prospective students?

EMPERORGive in to hate. Give in to the Dark Side of the Force. Mwahahaha!

(disappears in a cloud of smoke and lightning)

DR. FICTION(coughing) Thank you, Emperor Palpatine! Return next time for a visit from a representative of the School of Dramatic Villainy.

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