What to Eat (and How to Act!) at Ward III

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Okay, so now that we’ve had a look inside Tribeca’s new “bespoke cocktails” spot (opening Friday, they’re now saying), let’s take a look at the operating plan. There’s a lot to digest here. First off, check out the list of house rules — some of them are straight out of Milk & Honey’s playbook (“don’t be creepy”!), but then there are the ones like “if you are only drinking water, please do not take a bar stool.” Clearly the former Odeon, Macao, and Grace barkeeps are amped to finally be in charge of things. Drinks are $12, but the “bespoke cocktails” may cost a little more — below, you’ll find a list of “flavor profiles” that you can use to convey your preferences. Note that if you inspire something worth adding to the bar’s repertoire, you get to name it. Of course, the food menu also follows.

House Rules1. RESPECT OUR NEIGHBORS & OUR NEIGHBORHOOD
We love Tribeca and the people who live here. Chances are, if they are not here, they are sleeping somewhere above you. Please keep your voices down and don’t litter our neighborhood.

2. DON’T BE CREEPY
Gentlemen, if a lady does not appreciate your conversation, she will let you know. If she is not comfortable doing so, or if you do not receive the message, we will let you know. It is highly recommended that you respect our say in this matter.

3. PLEASE MIND YOUR MANNERS
The staff and your fellow patrons are only obligated to be as nice to you as you are to them. Let’s all be nice and get along.

4. YOU ARE NOT JUST BUYING DRINKS; YOU ARE LEASING REAL-ESTATE
If you are only drinking water, please do not take a bar stool. If you are done drinking or eating, and if other guests would like the same experience you have enjoyed, we will respectfully offer you your tab.

5. DON’T BE AFRAID TO ENGAGE YOUR NEIGHBOR
We have seen countless business deals, dates, weddings, friendships, and engaging conversations at our bars. Our job is to facilitate this, which we will do as much as business allows. Feel free to participate. (Caveat: See Rule #2)

6. IF YOU ARE PAYING BY CREDIT CARD
Please, if you plan to stay for more than one round, start a tab with us. Processing cards takes valuable time that is better spent making cocktails for your fellow patrons.

7. WHEN YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR LIMIT
Do the honorable thing and cut yourself off. This saves all of us the embarrassment of having to do it for you. You will thank us in the morning, and rest assured that we look forward to serving you another day.

8. “THIS ONE IS ON ME!”
On occasion, we may feel compelled to offer you a drink on the house. This is a gift from us to you. Like any gift, we reserve this for special occasions. Also like any gift, your odds of receiving it rise exponentially if you don’t ask for it.

9. FELLOW TRAVELERS
If you are in the service industry, please introduce yourself.

10. PATIENCE PLEASE
When we are busy, please remember that everyone else would like to be served just as badly as you do. Rest assured that we know who has been waiting and for how long. Everyone will get their turn.

In addition to our Ward III Cocktail Menu, we are pleased to offer you an experience geared specifically to your individual taste. If you would like a custom cocktail, please indicate so to the bartender, who will take the time to get to know your tastes and create something just for you. The best cocktails created in this fashion will be named by the drinker, and entered into the permanent archive. To get you started, peruse the following list of flavor-profiles. This will give us an idea of what you normally prefer, and will assist us in creating your bespoke experience.