The “Gossip Girl” web series has an unlikely star

Do you ever wonder what Dorota is doing when she’s not dressing Blair Waldorf or flipping through Blair’s fine stationery flash cards or baking Blair’s pumpkin pie or sending out Blair’s party invitations via BlackBerry or listening to Blair deliver soliloquies or gluing Blair back together or dousing the flames every time Blair sets the world on fire?

Well, you’re about to find out. After a lot of hemming and hawing from the folks over at CW, Josh Schwartz let slip that the much talked about Lily/Rufus webisodes are never going to happen in the Gossip Girl universe. Instead, CW is teaming up with Verizon to present The Secret Life of Dorota. I don’t think it’s overselling it to say that this is the best idea I have ever heard of in my entire life.

There are a couple of things you are absolutely guaranteed when dealing with a Josh Schwartz television show (The O.C., Gossip Girl, Chuck): zippy plots, elements of the ridiculous and superb music. Whether it’s Marissa Cooper on a bender, Serena Van der Woodsen on a slut spiral, or Agent Sarah Walker destroying a fleet of baddies with her pinky, Schwartz’s song selection is flawless. Never has that been so evident as on last week’s Gossip Girl, when Dorota’s ringtone was revealed as Britney Spears‘ “Slave 4 U.”

It was just another of the nice touches surrounding the Waldorf’s maid this season. Remember when she caught Blair giving herself some morning love and told her to knock it off, God was watching?

Or when she took Blair to feed ducks on Thanksgiving in that big, red parka?

Or when Blair reamed her out about using the everyday china, but she decided to go ahead and do it anyway, because Mrs. Waldorf’s fiancé turned out to be a hobbit?