This is all we had growing up. No one used conditioners and such. There was no burned hair or heat damage. I didn't start having trouble with my hair until I started reading natural hair blogs. This is the second time I am transitioning and I'm going back to what worked for me.

Originally Posted by di46205

Do you mean no one you know? Im in my 30s. We had conditioners. and I didnt know anyone with curly hair who would shampoo and wouldnt follow up with a conditioner. Grease has always been a problem in my hair and scalp because my hair is fine and grease is so heavy it clogs my pores and gives me dandruff. My mom pressed my hair now and then as a child but must have been a pain because by age six I had chemically treated hair. I used moisturizers like wave noveau or pink lotion. Not grease. As far as heat damage, you might not know someone has it unless they tried to wash and go. Only a few of my relatives did that. . I think excessive heat is why my grandma and great grandma had thin hair that never got much past apl. I tried to use grease natural and had to immediately wash my hair it was so weighed down and greasy. I am glad you found what works for you but we are all individuals.

Originally Posted by adthomas

I'm 53 and never used conditioner until I started beauty school at the age of 17. We used Jay's Coconut Oil Shampoo and Prell. I've learned that some people are/were heavy handed with grease. In the early 90's I found out about Vitale Hair and Scalp Conditioner. It is a water based 'grease' and does not contain any petroleum. It does contain mineral oil. I traded traditional hair grease for this.

There were girls I remember there did have damaged hair and it seemed to never grow. I don't know what they were doing to their hair. My grandmother never allow me to do anything beyond daily styling. I was send to the neighbor press and curl lady once a month. She never burned my hair, it never broke off, it was never dry, I didn't have dandruff. This is what worked for me as a child.

Originally Posted by di46205

I grew up having to use mostly dandruff shampoos so no way I was not conditioning. Let me clarify grease didnt cause the dandruff But it made it much worse much sooner. Nowadays I can stretch a shampoo to once a week. But if I used grease I would have to shampoo next day.
Probably the girls u knew with damaged hair were doing about the same as you were but getting different results because the products and techniques did not suit their hair. But instead of looking at other possibilities like maybe a conditioner or oil instead of grease some people will stick what obviously isnt working because this is what we have been told we "all" should do. A square peg in a round hole. some black people have the idea that all "black"hair is alike and should be treated the same when in fact we are individuals. I feel like some stylists treat our heads like assembly lines doing the same thing to each. That is why I stopped going.
I have had heat damage before. I have had permanent dye damage before. Yet I know people who bleach and use flat irons often no problem because their hair can handle things mine cant. Just like some hair can thrive with relaxers and some cant.
I just dont agree with saying "everyone". Not every technique or every product works for everyone. Not everyone has scalp issues. I am not anti grease. It just doesnt work for me. I have had people tell me I should only use products marketed to black people but I use what my hair likes so I dont care. If your hair loves grease you shouldnt care what other people say. My mom and some of my other relatives like grease just great.