Ripping the piss since 1888

FFS mum! Not Donald! NOOOOOOOOOOThe Office of Births, Marriages and Deaths in Whitechapel, announced last night that there is only a 1 in 10 billion chance that parents in the borough will name their child, Donald. Roughly the same odds as the advent of The Second Coming or of West Ham United winning The Champion’s League.

According to the registry statistics, the other least favourite names are Adolf, Benito, Rudi, and Psycho-Killerbastard.

For girls, the most unpopular are, Melania, Ivanka, Kellyanne, and Vaginal-Discharge in that order.

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The Whitechapel Whelk

We are a small, but perfectly formed band of satirists and smudge artists. We neither drink nor smoke. Nor indeed, do we use profanity or indulge in the sinful pleasures of the flesh. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get down the pub before closing time for a few pints and half an ounce of Golden Virginia. Hopefully, I'll have enough cash left to visit the local rub 'n' tug shop later for a massage and a rattling good bunk up with a painted floozie.
All The Best.
Danny SoZ.
Editor-in-chief

Hilarious! Ivanka is quickly becoming persona non grata in Washington DC. I fear the Trump Dumplin’s are off to a very bad start in their new political careers. People suspect they are all genetic imbeciles.