Perfume ads have been teetering on the brink of self-parody since the famous black-and-white spots of the mid-80s, but things may have reached a new level. This still is from an ad for a new perfume called Greed, which does not exist. Or, more specifically, it’s from an ad for an ad for Greed, directed by Roman Polanski and starring Natalie Portman and Michelle Williams, which will be hitting the internet next week.

The shaved head was enough of a 90s staple that it had a Seinfeld episode dedicated to it (“The Little Jerry”, for the curious), but it may be time for something else. The folks at GQ believe they’ve found it in “The Power Donut,” a look championed by the deftly macho Ed Harris and lovably bumbling Gerald Ford. The slideshow makes a pretty good case for letting your follicles make a last stand.

It’s definitely time for a change, but we can’t help but think wistfully of the 90s icons to rock the cueball: Andre Agassi, Michael Jordan, and even Natalie Portman. It was so good for so long! But by the time Moby came along, we knew it was on the way out.

We've never been huge fans of Moby's music, but we have to admit we like his style. For a little bald guy with glasses he does himself pretty well. Sartorially he may not be much to write home about, but he manages to exude the right kind of insouciant electro-rock star cool in a way that's essentially inimitable: just you try walking around like this and see how far you get if you don't believe us.

Curb Your Dog: Some horrid pooch went and peed on our beloved Natalie Portman while she was traipsing about the part with Freak-Folk boytoy Devendra Banhart. Gentlemen that we are, we already have a contract out on the hairy mutt (and the dog as well). [NYPost]

Drawers Raise a Stink: The latest banned ads in Europe aren't by Tom Ford, but rather the product of Hanes' anti-racism, anti-subtleness marketing department. [DNR]

Freak Folk: Always on the hunt for a deep, sensitive mate, Natalie Portman is reportedly nuzzling up to Cripple Crow crooner Devandra Banhart. Yeah, we don't know how we feel about this one either. We mean, he is wearing a woman's jacket. [Egotastic]