Imposter Syndrome

University
is the worst and it's hard to know why we all put ourselves through it. Long
days of painful lectures followed by long nights of last minute assignments and
yet many of us come back day after day, year after year. University kind of
sucks, but it can feel so much worse when the student is plagued by the big bad
Imposter Syndrome. It can be a struggle to take a compliment sometimes, and
maybe a grade is a little higher than it should be for the work that was handed
in. Imposter syndrome makes you feel like a fraud, even in the middle of your
success. It is characterised by someone's inability to accept their
accomplishments for what they are or by their fear of being exposed as someone
undeserving of the position they're in.

Imposter Syndrome is most common in high achievers. Imposter Syndrome as a term came about in 1978
and is labelled as a psychological phenomenon that creates feelings of
intellectual fraudulence. Imposter Syndrome is said to commonly come through as
feelings of anxiety. There is no specific cause of it, however, the
overwhelming need for perfectionism and the increasing idea of social
comparison, as well as an almost universal fear of failure all, play a part.

Imposter Syndrome can feel normal, especially in an academic setting
where everyone seems so much more intelligent. It's easy to sink into the idea
that everyone else in your class belongs and you do not, that everyone else
works hard and succeeds while you somehow tricked whoever let you into your
course because clearly you're not suited to be here. It is believed that a high
number of students suffer from feeling like an imposter throughout their
academic career and many cannot even put a name it. The ones who can still
struggle to think past it and no one ever really seems to want to talk about
it. Many students seem to just accept the feeling and go through their academic
life struggling.

Penny* lives in a three bedroom flat, goes to classes most of the
time and wears clothing that tells you she was an overachieving theatre kid in
high school. She's undoubtedly felt a lot of feelings in her life but one
feeling, the feeling of being an imposter, has stuck around. She says a counsellor
once told her it wasn't really a syndrome because when you label things as
syndrome they tend to make people think it's a mental illness, but it's more of
just a feeling. Penny says Imposter Syndrome has followed her as a student
throughout high school and university.

"Every day I'm struggling, like a lot, and I've kind of
always felt it. I think a lot of other people feel Imposter Syndrome. A lot of
girls I know are a lot less confident about their opinions like their default
position is that they're wrong and they're doing something wrong. In some ways,
I think it was good because it made me work a lot more, but it's not for the
right reasons. It was because I was scared people would think I was an idiot,”
she says.

“I've never really felt that I fully deserved a lot of the stuff
that's happened to me and sometimes I tell myself that it's because I somehow
cheated the system. There's this paranoia that people will think I'm cheating.

“In year 10 a teacher tried to get me to confess to plagiarising
something I had written because it was so academic, but I just went really
extra. I work hard on things that aren't important because they are proof that
I'm capable.”

Penny says the first emotion she feels when she achieves something
is disbelief.

“I'm sure that there's another reason that I got this and it's not
because I worked for it. As a student, you're constantly being graded on stuff
and if I get a good mark I get really confused by it like why am I getting a
good grade for this work? I get frustrated at myself because I'll be in class
and they'll ask a question and I know the answer, but I won't put up my hand
because I'm scared that they'll say I'm wrong and everyone will think I'm an
idiot, but if other people do it I don't think they're idiots.”

It is not an uncommon feeling, feeling like a fraud, and a great
deal of people will feel it at some point in their lives. It can be easy
getting swept up in it and not acknowledging what you've achieved or accept the
praise you receive. However, it can be surprisingly common among students, so
it is curious that there is not more discussion about it to make it easier for
these students. We are surrounded by people trying to project the best version
of themselves into the world because we want to share the good things and hide
the bad things, so it can be easy to become dissatisfied when we compare our
normal lives with others best lives. The important thing is to talk about how
you are feeling, because though not everyone may be currently affected by Imposter Syndrome, no one is a stranger to thoughts like these. If you are struggling
to the point of a serious problem don’t be afraid to reach out to a counsellor.
The student health services on all three campuses provide counselling for free.