She has never been a mom to any of her 4 children. She has always put drugs and men above her kids, and now, her grandkids. She is married, but I recently found out that she doesn't even go home anymore. She's been staying with her boyfriend (effed up, I know). I was also told by several family members that she's doing hard drugs again. I know it's true. The last time I saw her, she had dropped about 20 pounds and looked like she had aged about 15 years. She looked horrible. When I asked her about the drugs, she didn't admit to it, but she didn't deny it either. I have a 9 yr old brother that lives there and I don't even know when she saw him last. She pays the neighbors to take him to and from school, so she doesn't have to.

At this point, I feel like I need to take a step back from her and let her figure things out on her own. She has no relationship with my kids anyways. When I USED to take my kids to her house, she wouldn't even have anything to do with them. It seemed like her neighbor would call EVERYTIME I was there. So, my mom would always leave to go to her neighbors house to get high.

What would you do if you were in my situation?

Also, if I do decide not to invite her, should I 1) Simply not tell her about the party at all OR 2) Just tell her that she's not invited...?? My mom has a tendency to "guilt trip" me, so I'm seriously considering not even mentioning it to her at all.

Replies

aaaahh! good for you then! and have LOTS of communication with your kids about drugs/alcohol as they get older. constantly.

Quoting BamaMommy2:

Quoting Mrs.Brugger:

if she's doing drugs, there's no way in hell she'd be coming to my kids party. i wouldnt tell her about the party. if she asked about it, i'd tell her i didnt want her there. sounds mean, and she'll try to make you feel like crap, but she shouldn't be around LOs who are easily influenced (not saying she'll turn them, butthey don't even need to see that) because she'll probably show up high. that's a big fat no.

That is a HUGE fear of mine. All of the moms on that side of the family, do drugs. My cousin, has 3 kids, doesn't have custody of any of them. My Aunt, has 6 kids, 5 different baby daddies and never took care of any of them. I am, literally, breaking a "generational curse" by not allowing my kids around that kind of stuff.

I have one Aunt, who made some not so good choices, but she's actually turned her life around. We are close, always have been.

BamaMommy2, I'd not say anything to her.. This is someone I'd definately not let know, let alone invite anywhere.. I had a mother like this.. I'm so sorry.. Take Care, Donna....

Thank you. I really want to cut all ties right now. I feel like if I continue to have a relationship with her, all I'm really doing is enabling that kind of behavior. She needs to know that I don't support or condone it.