Just a week ago, her two-story house on a quiet street in San Francisco's Excelsior district was a bustling place, crammed with sports gear and trophies and team portraits, where she and her husband of 21 years were raising their four children.

But in just seconds on Sunday, her family was torn apart: Her husband, Tony, 48, and the couple's sons Michael, 20, and Matthew, 16, were shot and killed as they drove home from a family barbecue in Fairfield.

What is left at home, for Danielle Bologna, is only stark silence.

"I went back there one time," she said Thursday. "It was extremely cold. It was empty. It was the cold, the silence.

"It was hard seeing my kids' things all over ... my husband's shoes, his work stuff, his clothes, jackets all over."

Danielle Bologna says she wants San Francisco District Attorney Kamala Harris - who has pledged never to seek the death penalty - to understand a little of what she must endure and to seek the death penalty for her family's killer.

"The district attorney really needs to pay attention - she doesn't have kids, she doesn't know what this means," Bologna said.

Prosecutors filed three counts of murder and other charges Thursday against Edwin Ramos, 21, of El Sobrante, an alleged street gang member who police say opened fire on the Bolognas after their car briefly blocked Ramos from completing a left turn down a narrow street. The charges include special circumstances that could carry the death penalty.

But Harris had long promised to not seek the death penalty in the city. After taking strong criticism for quickly ruling out the death penalty against the gang member ultimately convicted of killing San Francisco police Officer Isaac Espinoza in 2004, Harris has since delegated such decisions to a committee of prosecutors in her office. Capital punishment, however, has yet to be sought.

On Thursday, Harris' office said that no decision has been made on the issue in the Bologna slayings. "This is a horrific tragedy most painfully felt by the family and friends of these innocent victims and shared by our entire city," the office said in a statement.

Danielle Bologna, 47, an educational adviser and coach at Rooftop Elementary, recalled how her husband spent his days coaching sports with his four kids and nights as a supervisor at Draeger's market in San Mateo.

Michael, a standout athlete, was their eldest son at 20 and was attending the College of San Mateo. Matthew, their youngest son, was 16 and attending Lincoln High in San Francisco.

On Sunday, the Bolognas - she, her husband and their three sons and a daughter - joined other relatives and friends for a barbecue in Fairfield. It was the last time the family was together.

Encounter on street

She said the family parted at the gathering because Tony wanted to get some sleep before work. He was driving on Congdon Street only blocks from home, police said, when he encountered a Chrysler 300 as it was trying to get by his car after making a left turn. Tony backed up, but soon shots were fired, fatally wounding him and two sons, who were riding with him in the car.

"There was no altercation between this maniac man and my husband," she said. "My husband would never put his own children in jeopardy.

"My husband moved back to let the guy go. Instead, he had blocked my husband and opened fire. There was not a peep or a word out of my husband's mouth."

With the help of a tip from a man arrested after the slayings, police quickly made an arrest of a member of a notoriously violent street gang, MS-13.

"This animal," Danielle Bologna said. "I just feel that I can't even give him a name - who can just drive around looking for victims to take out. He has no conscience. Just to kill people when you feel like it?"

Widow's plea to D.A.

Danielle Bologna said the district attorney needs to realize the enormity of the crime in this case.

"Seeking the death penalty, this will make a statement so people won't just kill families for no reason," said Bologna, who is left to raise a son and daughter on her own. "They have the power to stop this. They have to stop with the excuses - this is not her family, this is my family. '

Violence in the city, Bologna said, "has gone too far. Nothing is getting done. Why did we put her here, if she is not going to stop this? This is huge. I have lost a husband and two kids."

Danielle Bologna thanked the police for their efforts. She says she prays that justice will be done. "I'm going to let the courts do their job. I'm going to let the police officers, who have been fabulous, do their job. I just feel the district attorney needs to do her the job."

She said she is still stunned by what happened.

'A senseless crime'

"All I can tell you - this was a senseless crime. I never in a million years thought I would have to live this life and lose my family.

"To be so senseless, to have people on the streets, shooting people. We have to take our city back - this shouldn't happen. We all need to stick together. To be strong against guns, we need to get those off the streets.

"I just feel like, we are not getting it. They are winning. These criminals are winning. I'm the one who has got to live this. But this is not just about me. It is about other people being hurt. This was my turn to have lost a beautiful husband and two beautiful kids.

"I'm never going to have somebody to love and kiss me and say 'I love you' in that way. That is the pain I'm talking about," she said, sobbing. "I'm going to miss the man who kisses me and says 'I love you' and 'good night.' "

Tony Bologna's sister, Lorraine Kennedy, said the family spent Thursday at a mortuary.

"We are having to pick out caskets for a husband and two sons - no family should ever, ever have to do this, have to go through this pain," she said. "It is unbearable.

"Every morning, I wake up and I pray this has been a bad dream. I wake up and know this is reality. It sickens me."

Her husband, Frank Kennedy, said the gang members responsible for Bologna's death must be dealt with to prevent further bloodshed. "We can't stand for this. This is a real American tragedy. A national tragedy, that this has happened to this family."