Will I ever get a tough skin on this topic?

I have a love/hate relationship with this board. I come on here occasionally because I love learning from you women and feeling like I am not alone in my decision to delay/not vax my dd. Where I struggle is that I get such a sick feeling when reading about "real time" reactions to vaccines, people who say cruel things about non-vaxers, etc... Will I ever get a tough skin to these things? It just brings out such raw emotion in me. I avoid a lot of the links and articles posted because it just makes me sick and sad. I want to learn as much as I can though. How do you women deal with this? Do any of you feel this way? I take a lot to heart in general, so maybe I will always struggle with this. Just looking for some support and similar experiences.

As bad as this sounds. I have stepped back significantly in my research. I am confident in my choice not to vaxx my LO. I will revisit things once she is older. The ingredient list and my gut is enough for me. I spent SO (significant other) MUCH time reading, highlighting, looking up definitions ect... It was taking time away from my family. One thing I've come to terms with that data, science, studies- statistics are pliable. All the numbers can be interpetated differently.

When all the crap is striped away the ingredients are the only concrete in the debate. It either is or is not in the injection solution.The ingredient list and my gut is enough for me.

I used to try to have all my research and reasoning ready to defend my choices. VERY FEW people know my baby's current vaxx status. My Grandparents, my parents and my twin sister. She got up thru her 2 month shots and that was it. I let people know I was questioning vaccines and always included but she is up to date. Then when 4 months rolled around I just shut my trap.

I brought it up with my grandfather this weekend. He told me if had the choice when he was a child he would opt for vaccines, BUT he also told me "I know that everyone says once you have it you are immune for life. I don't buy it. As with everything in life- mileage may vary. People and circumstances are unique. I stumped Doctors because I came down with German measles 3 times when I should have only gotten them once in my lifetime."

I told him I struggle with justifing my choice. I've switched from scientific reasons to not vaxx to looking into Biblical reasoning, to political.

I have stream lined everything into a few key points that "both sides agree on"

1 Vaccines do not work 100% of the time.- I see no reason to give my child a vaccine which may or may not work for a disease they may or may not get.

2 Vaccine ingredients can not be argued. I think they are icky.

3 Personal rights. I have the right to choose what I is put into my childs body.

None of these reason require much "research" to back up.

Anytime issues come up now. I remind myself that: A man convinced against his will is of his opinion still.

I won't convince anyone to see things my way. Now that I have written a novel explaining why I have stopped researching as much. I guess I can answer your question. No the heart break, and sadness that can come from some of the things we read does not just go away. But Luckily we have this board for support with Lovely people to guide us to resources if needed. You can just hope to come to the point where what you have already done is enough for you to be comfortable with your choices. -Where you are able to focus on the camaraderie that you are not alone in the quest to raise healthy kids.

You just need to find your balance between being educated and informed and not torturing yourself.

You will get tougher the more time goes on. For me now, DD (dear daughter) is 1 and it just feels RIGHT to decline vaccines. To some parents, it feels insane to decline them. But for me, when I'm at the dr's office, I know they couldn't pay me enough to vaccinate her. There's just a deeply rooted feeling in me that screams DON'T DO IT! It's not a popular opinion to have in our society, but it doesn't change my confidence in it. Do less research if it's bugging you. If you feel good with your choice, you can avoid websites or discussion groups that make you feel overwhelmed. It's not always so easy to avoid in real life, but I just don't make it anyone else's business or concern. Vaccines aren't safe, in my opinion, and I don't ever consult friends or family when I have any OTHER issues related to safety. For example, when it was time to lower DD's crib, get a new carseat, put the humidifier in her room during a cold, put outlet covers in when she started to crawl, move up a size in clothing, make the choice to do extended BFing, etc, DH (dear husband) & I just discussed it and made a choice that we, as her parents, felt comfortable with. I don't involve other people in THOSE health/safety decisions so why should I when deciding about vaccines?

I used to feel that way when my oldest (now almost 5) was a baby and we were declining vaxes, etc. also, I was vaxed as a child and believed I would vax my children ...until I started researching the ingredients on those vax package slips.
During that first year or so, I would second guess myself at times. But here's the thing - every time I did I sat down and did more research, and every time I ended up feeling MORE confident in my decision to not vax (originally we were going to select/delay, but we ended up not doing any).

I used to feel that raw emotion that you describe. But over time, as I doubted our decision less and less, I also grew to care less about what other people thought - especially the nay sayers. (1) I have NEVER come across a pro-vax person that did any research of their own at all - they just regurgitate what they're told. (2) every non-vaxing parent I know has carefully done a lot of independent research.

Most importantly, (3) I recognized that you CANNOT persuade someone, win them over in a debate, or prove to someone that their view is wrong. People must come to that conclusion on their own, and you cannot make them see the light - no matter how bright and obvious it may seem to us.

So, I do not waste my time worrying about such people (though I do feel bad for their kids). I go about my life with my very healthy children.

Thank you. These comments make me feel a lot better. I feel pretty confident in my reasons to not vax. I think it just breaks my heart to hear other children affected by vaccines.
I also feel that I am more scared to be persecuted by a medical staff if I were to ever have to take my dd (dear daughter) to an ER than I am scared of most of these diseases people vax for. I feel very confident in the way I raise my dd (dear daughter) to avoid these diseases. Healthy diet, prayer, hand washing, elderberry syrup when exposed to a lot of germs, etc.

I did make the mistake of telling the truth in the beginning when people asked if my dd (dear daughter) got her shots. I have a really hard time lying when people ask me strait out. How I wish I could take that back. My own grandma has made me feel badly about my decision, when I know it is the right one. She also desperately wants to feed my dd (dear daughter) processed food and my dd (dear daughter) is only 10 months old. It can really be tough balancing this choice with family. I do have my DH (dear husband) on board (even though he doesn't research) so I guess that matters most.

I just wish I didn't take this topic to heart so much. It makes me FEEL so much! I guess if it didn't though, then my dd (dear daughter) may be vaxed today and I am so thankful she's not!

Living a vaccine injury is raw and emotional, it is no wonder you feel this way. The only things that get to me now are mothers who spout off ignorant shit about the greater good. and protecting the herd. Who the fuck is protecting my child? They didn't when she was injured. They claim we are selfish, yet I find it extremely selfish for people to be ok with the death and permanant altering of other peoples children because theirs were "fine" with vaccinations, and they are so afraid of the disease that casualties are ok.

OP (original poster) I hope you find balance. I step away from vaccination posts all the time. people do not want to believe that the people who are supposed to be protecting them aren't. They won't do their own research, then call anyone who doesn't vax no matter what the reason uninformed.

Living a vaccine injury is raw and emotional, it is no wonder you feel this w...

Posted
03/26/2014

Living a vaccine injury is raw and emotional, it is no wonder you feel this way. The only things that get to me now are mothers who spout off ignorant shit about the greater good. and protecting the herd. Who the fuck is protecting my child? They didn't when she was injured. They claim we are selfish, yet I find it extremely selfish for people to be ok with the death and permanant altering of other peoples children because theirs were "fine" with vaccinations, and they are so afraid of the disease that casualties are ok.

OP I hope you find balance. I step away from vaccination posts all the time. people do not want to believe that the people who are supposed to be protecting them aren't. They won't do their own research, then call anyone who doesn't vax no matter what the reason uninformed.

Good luck to you :)

Thank you. I guess I should clarify that I have not had a child who has had a vax injury. I was more referring to hearing stories in "real time" that is so heart breaking. You can read statistics, but when someone comes to this board or other boards and share their stories of vax injuries, it is so heart breaking to hear. I'm so sorry to hear that you have been affected by this personally. I cannot imagine. I do think it is great though that people do have somewhere that they can go and share their stories and get support, rather than be told it has nothing to do with vaccines. That would be devastating.

Thank you. I guess I should clarify that I have not had a child who has had a...

Posted
03/26/2014

Thank you. I guess I should clarify that I have not had a child who has had a vax injury. I was more referring to hearing stories in "real time" that is so heart breaking. You can read statistics, but when someone comes to this board or other boards and share their stories of vax injuries, it is so heart breaking to hear. I'm so sorry to hear that you have been affected by this personally. I cannot imagine. I do think it is great though that people do have somewhere that they can go and share their stories and get support, rather than be told it has nothing to do with vaccines. That would be devastating.

I completely misread the OP. So Sorry. I would have worded it much differently.

I still hope you find peace. Just when I think I have, someone rips the wound wide open.

Whether you deal with it 1st or 2nd hand it is hard to get over the feelings. Those of us who vaccinated believing we were protecting our children and actually harmed them have a lot of feelings to go through. I got to the point where if/ when my daughter asks why she isn't vaccinated anymore, or wishes to be. I will share with her, her story. She doesn't remember. I thank God for that.

My core beliefs now. You can't poison a child into health.

(My daughter was on a delayed schedule and was 2 when she received her MMR. The delay did nothing but delay the reaction)

I also tell people that I would rather passively risk the minute chance of the serious disease reaction, then to knowingly inject toxins into my kids.

Again if you need a break take one. If someone who knows says something about your vax status, you do not have to talk with them at that moment. Ask them to look up the vaccine inserts, look at the ingredients, and when they have a good understanding about whats in them. You will then have time to compose yourself. I actually have never had a pro vaccine friend look up each vaccine a child gets, and each ingredient. It takes a lot of time, and that is there excuse. If they do, like I said it takes a lot of time and will give you a huge breather. If you want more time ask them to also look up each ingredients data sheet on the FDA site, and in what amounts they are toxic to the human body, then compare it to the amounts in the vaccine and multiply that by how many vaccines their child is given. Guaranteed, you will overwhelm the person... They will back off.

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