They’re Scary As Hell (to furry lil Woodchucks)

Now I’m not gonna go into depth about the lore of Groundhog’s Day. Instead we’ll simply say this, Groundhogs obviously have a near godlike control over the changing seasons. In an awkward twist of fate, they seem to be scared sh*tless by their shadow. Now it’s your duty to try and explain why and capture this battle that shapes the warmth and lives of untold millions!

I sorta love these murky description less ones as they leave so much room for you guys to go astray. Make the shadow a dream juggling clown, a creepy doll, make it cat people, give it the power over all things mechanical…. hey….these are just old Stephen King plot lines… you can do that yourselves… So break out the charcoal and lets see what kind of horrible shapes a fuzzy, chubby cheeked shadow can take!

So I think I’m going to set up a lil rule where weeks we have under 10 submissions and I’m just going to pick my favorites. It saves me from a lot of back n forth, and lets me make sure the wins get scattered around in a seemingly mindless and abstract pattern! So your Judge this week is your host, meaning me, Chip, or Cthip if you’d rather… plus Long ago we had a full family of groundhogs living under the halfpipe at my mom’s house, so I even feel at least somewhat qualified for this one! results are posted below and thanks to all for playing!

So at first I had forgotten about the groundhog who bit the wisconsin mayor’s ear, so I was just basking in what i thought was its pure amazing insanity… but even knowing that it has a few anchors in reality barely even dims my fascination! Plus that lil blood hungry ear hog is pretty damn adorable.

Judge’s Comments – I think it’s the third layer of the joke that pushes this one over the top. I swear it starts to step itself into some imaginary, neverending, bill plimpton style transition, not just a groundhog biting an ear possessed by the spirit of post tattoo tyson but one who undoubtedly would morph into pigeons which would morph into this …. and you get the point

This totally reminds me of that song “The Shadow of my Penis has 1000 Eyes”… what you don’t believe that’s a song? well it damn sure is now! … Speaking off I’m still waiting for someone to record the phrase Mythical Beast Wars to the tune of “Chemical Warfare” for me…

Judge’s Comments – No secret here, giant shadow genitals stuffed full of eyes will almost always earn a place if I have a say… but the emotion in that woodchuck’s eye is pretty great too!

Man I don’t, not love a good double negative! And such a (pardon the pun) cold phrase! But riddle me this… where does a groundhog find well nibbled human remains that are smaller than you know, a ground hog? Anyone else thinking gateway to hollow earth?

Judge’s Comments – Cause if you’re me, you feel both the Banthas and the Rancors of the world never got a fair shake on screen, and any attempt to bring them the recognition they deserve is appreciated and while my next runner up (number 8) was dark as hell… this one is literally darker… and sometimes that’s enough!

Not that often that a phone shadow does the ironic favor of creating a shadow that the groundhogs shadow can appear to also be frightened of! So what happens in this case? A comprimise and Spring in like 3 weeks?

“The groundhog sees ground hog” – Even with the caption, it took me a second and I suddenly realized how much fun its gonna be trying to guess what the hell a shadow is this week…. I’m betting I’m like 70% wrong! I kept reading the meat grinders handle as the legs of a fireplug shaped, well wigged damsel who’s currently being carried in a very dramatic rescue style!

Now if I were faithfully following the rules (the what now?) I’m not entirely sure this can count as that’s obviously not a ground hog and is in fact a short clown nosed monkey beast… but hey any chance to draw a beard of tentacles right?

Man there are way more of you who want to send a groundhog to a horrific and probably especially tender and juicy end than I would have thought. Now if i were this particular chubby cheeked clover nibbling guy… i might just reach down and hit that really obvious off button but hey that’s just me.

Now I’m slightly torn as to whether i read that circle as his own lonely planet or if it’s simply a sunspot based symbol of the overwhelming forces that a groundhog must face alone… either way it’s kinda greatly bleak and i sorta wanna make a ground hog’s day card out of it!