Sometimes, fans like to argue about favorite sports and which sport is truly the best. Such arguments will never end, because opinions are opinions, and that’s that. And another thing about these arguments: people really care about sports, believe it or not, so they can get heated. Today on SportsCenter, former MLB manager Bobby Valentine and former NFL coach Herm Edwards had just such a “baseball vs. football” argument. You can guess which side they each took up. What you might not be able to guess is what the hell each guy is talking about. See what I mean:

I’ll confess: when I first saw this, I was unsure exactly what point Valentine was trying to yell, and what Edwards’ retort was supposed to be. After re-watching and talking it over with SportsGrid senior editor Dan Fogarty, I think I now have it down. Valentine’s point, translated: “In the NFL, it’s only Week 5! For example, if the Jets lose this week, they have plenty of time to make up ground! However, if the Yankees lose their game tonight, they’re done for the year! Playoff baseball is so high-stakes and that’s why it would be reasonable to prefer it to regular-season NFL action!”

Meanwhile, Herm’s retort appears to boil down to: “But baseball only arrived at this point via a tedious 162-game season! I love the baseball playoffs, but really, that seems rather excessive!” And then, he started yelling about mild baseball trash talk of this kind (we think), and he and Valentine high-fived, which was really a perfect capper to the madness. Then, I imagined Valentine and Herm co-hosting a PTI-style debate show. Unfortunately, this caused my brain to explode, and I am now dead. It’s been fun, everybody!