RMT’s Sunday league team calls strike after coach asks for 110% effort

South London Jobsworths, the Sunday League football team formed out of members of the Rail and Maritime Transport Union (RMT), has called for strike action after coach Nobby Gettin called for ‘110 per cent effort this Sunday’.

After talks with an employment lawyer, skipper Bob Crow has argued that the coach is making unreasonable demands and that his members should be compensated for any extra work.

Gettin, who isn’t actually a member of the RMT and claims he volunteers his time, reported last night that his windows had been bricked in, but the RMT has denied any responsibility. In a separate incident, a rottweiler bit him in the groin as he was preparing the oranges for half time at last week’s crunch fixture against Lewisham Badboys, but this thought to be an unrelated occurrence.

Crow has no doubt these incidents are coincidence though. ‘Once again, we see the spin machine of the capitalist establishment in action’ he ranted.

After an approach from ACAS, Gettin has now agreed to drop his request for 110% and asked for everybody to get behind the ball, pick up their man and not to lose concentration. But tensions were further inflamed when Gettin suggested that some players might have let their heads drop when the team goes one nil down and that you should never underestimate Crown and Two Chairmen. ‘Any suggestion that my members were at fault for any of the goals that went in last week are totally unacceptable’ stated Crow.

Last night however, it was reported that a breakthrough had been made in talks, and underestimating the Crown and Two Chairmen is custom and practice. Crow said his members are now giving 30 per cent which, with Sunday hours, is the equivalent of 110 per cent.