Dear All That Is Holy, Deep Fried, Cheetos-Flavored, Mac And Cheese Sticks Exist

That is the love child of an eleven-year-old who accidentally ingested acid and … I don’t even know. I’m too excited to complete this metaphor. Analogy. Simile. Whatever the fuck it is. It’s a Cheetos mozz stick filled with creamy, gooey mac and cheese.

Fuck yes.

They come via the way of Burger King, and they sound phenomenal. I know we say this a lot around here, but this has to be the most perfect stoner food. Salty, tangy, crispy, cheese. Dippy. I might die. I might die. Via Bloomberg:

The new product, called Mac ’n Cheetos, emerged from a partnership with PepsiCo Inc.’s Frito-Lay, the snack empire that owns Cheetos, Doritos, Ruffles and other chips. The move mimics the strategy of Yum! Brands Inc.’s Taco Bell, which introduced a taco with a Doritos shell in 2012. That item, called Doritos Locos Tacos, helped turn around sales at the then-struggling chain and offshoots followed: Cool Ranch, Nacho Cheese and Fiery Doritos.

Mac ’n Cheetos will be sold for about eight weeks or until supplies run out, said Burger King, which is part of Restaurant Brands International Inc. The $2.49 five-pack of portable macaroni-and-cheese bites are similar to mozzarella sticks. The item, which has 310 calories, has already appeared at some Burger King restaurants in a trial phase.

Someone get me 30 packed bongs and directions to the nearest Burger King.