I reread the article and realized I had omitted one of the riskiest things I did this year. It was a brazen beginning to a journey I’ll be taking for quite a while. I wrote about it on my website, WalkerThornton.com. I went to a Back to the Body Retreat run by Pamela Madsen, Will Fredericks and Ron Stewart. Five days of total immersion in the body—appreciating, learning and experiencing ourselves as women.

One of the conversations we had with Pamela was about creating pleasure in our lives. We were asked to go home and create a pleasure plan for the upcoming year. It’s a fabulous idea and I want you to consider creating your 2014 plan for pleasure too.

Mine will be a mix of pleasures of the flesh and sensual experiences. We can call pleasures of the flesh sensual, but for now I want to differentiate the two.

There are a couple of ways to approach this. You might make a list, use a calendar, or get playful and combine collage with notebook to create an array of things that will bring you pleasure over the next year. Documenting your journey could be fun.

There is only one rule:

This is about YOUR pleasure.

These are some things I want in my life next year:

Pleasure of the flesh

Monthly massages.

Schedule a facial for February.

Plan for sexy evenings—tell my partner what I envision and ask him to participate in ‘my’ pleasure plan (note that I’m not leaving this to chance).

Swim more—I love the way my body feels in the water and after I’ve finished my laps.

Lots of kissing.

Make love on the back deck on a hot steamy summer afternoon.

Experiment with sex toys to increase my body’s responsiveness.

Sensuous Experiences

Start eating with intention—adding color and richness to my meals. Create a pretty plate and eat at the dining room table.

Indulge in high thread count sheets for my bed.

Watercolor classes.

Buy flowers.

Take walks.

Read stimulating books, erotica and intellectual.

Light candles.

Some of the elements of my pleasure plan involve changes in habits. Others are about taking up new hobbies or activities. Some—pure indulgences. All are designed to provide me pleasure.

Pleasure is not a naughty word.

As mothers, caregivers, grandmothers, single women or partners we need individual moments of pleasure to keep us going. They stoke the fire; they give us the energy to participate in a full life.

Feeling good about ourselves—however that manifests for you—helps us feel more vibrant and sexier. There are several components to a good pleasure plan. They include the physical and the emotional. Get the blood flowing, the skin tingly, the senses engaged and you will feel the sexual energy flowing through your body. Don’t forget the mind. Incorporate pleasures that engage you mentally—whether it’s explicitly sexual or a more overall sensuous feeling.

There are no limits to where and how we find pleasure in our lives. The key is to be intentional. Look for opportunities to connect, explore, and be open to new experiences. Stand in front of the sink in your panties and eat a juicy mango, letting the sweet juices drip down your breasts. Imagine a lover licking those juices from you. Dress in your sexiest lingerie and admire your curves. Feel the sexiness. Feel the decadence of wrapping yourself in soft pleasing textures.

Open yourself to the pleasure that awaits when you bring yourself into awareness. It’s there, just waiting for you. Embrace it.

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Walker Thornton is a 62-year-old author and public speaker on a mission to help older women discover and enhance their sexuality. She specializes in women’s issues: sex, aging, and relationships. Her book, Inviting Desire is written for the older woman seeking to bring more enjoyment into her life. You can find her at www.walkerthornton.com, on Instagram as wjt62, on Twitter: http://twitter.com/WalkerThornton and on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WalkerJThornton/

3 Responses

One 2014 pleasure I’m looking forward to is the Catalyst Con conference March 14, 15 – and your workshop is high on my list. See you there?

By the way, this week’s NYTimes Mag included this essay in which the writer says he’s uncoupling “guilty” from “pleasure.” It’s not so much about sensual pleasures, more about art, but it’s a nice analysis with implications for delving into life more erotically.

Sienna, interesting article. I think many women feel that connection between pleasure and guilt. Love the way he delves into that. Thanks for sharing the article. And, thanks for giving me a little ‘shout out’ for my presentation at Catalyst Con! Definitely see you there.