Love Advice: Date the One Who Scares You

People will say they want true love, but then stare it right in the face and run the other way. They don’t always run because they are on foolishness; this may be due to fear. The fear of ACTUALLY being loved the way they should be. The fear of getting what they have been hoping for and messing it all up. The fear of realizing that everything that they’ve ever wanted in a mate requires one thing: for them to be vulnerable like they never have before.

Usually, they run from people who are great at relationships. At least they’d be great at making them happy. The person they run from is not perfect, but “just what they’ve been looking for.” And that scares them. So what they will do is come up with an excuse to not deal with them anymore.

We all know by now that the comfortable and familiar rarely transforms us. It’s best to date someone who scares the crap out of you. Not in a creepy psychotic way, but a way that makes you realize that they’re the real deal. Why? See below.

They Make You Face Your Fears

Meeting someone who can “see right through you” can be a very frightening thing, but that’s what you might need to reach the next level in your journey here on Earth. Your need to protect yourself will tell you otherwise, and do a damn good job of convincing you that walking away is the best decision. We have a need to control, and our emotions are at the top of the list. So it’s easier to be with someone who doesn’t challenge your heart.

Dating someone who you’re essentially “afraid of” forces you to face your fears, and if they’re the right person, they will be there with you every step of the way as you overcome them.

They Challenge You to Become A Better You

No one sees eye to eye all of the time, especially in relationships. The challenges that you face together will undoubtedly reveal whether you’re willing to make a few changes in your life to make it work this time around. Often, the person who scares the crap out of you has qualities and behaviors that are very different from those who you’ve dealt with in the past. Instead of fearing those differences, be courageous enough to welcome the new change. Your heart and soul will thank you for it.

You Have A Stable Partner & Relationship

One of the main reasons why we’re afraid to give people who scare us a chance is the thought of the relationship ACTUALLY being successful. Many of us have become so used to emotional instability (or a lack of emotion at all in a relationship), that we subconsciously welcome the chaos. Anything remotely different from the on-again-off-again scenarios that we’ve become accustomed to is seen as “boring.” That’s IF it even gets that far. Many are choosing the “safe place” of limbo, where they don’t get attached, but still indulge in practices synonymous of a relationship. With the one who scares you, there’s no guessing of whether they’d make a good mate. Your fear comes from the fact that you know that they will.

They Will Stretch You

When you have someone who shows you who they are upfront, you’re forced to decide whether you wish to proceed through the land of the unknown. It does not mean that they’re moving too fast, they’re just not playing games. They’re not waiting two days to call you or taking you on a cheap date because the relationship is new. They will not hold back their feelings. The one who scares you sees your value immediately. They do not wait to show you that they appreciate you. They give you the love and care that you need regardless of time.

Your “stretching” will be determined if you decide to run in the opposite direction, or stick around and notice their worth like they have noticed yours.

The one who challenges and scares you is not to run away from. If you allow them to, they can spark an amazing change in your life and you in theirs. I’m not saying date someone who is the complete opposite of you. I’m saying date someone who makes you better. Date the person who makes you want to run away from everything bad about yourself, but you stay because they, and you, are worth it.

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