4.24.2015

Suicide is
the Result of Severe Brain Dis-ease: The Brain is Diseased, Dis-eased

The last two
weeks have brought 5 suicides to my attention. Not my personal loved ones, but
people and families that are facing this new and horrible fact. Their loved one
will not ever return and they are stuck with the WHY's and the "I should
haves" - even distant friends and family, maybe those pushed away earlier
by the deceased, will feel somewhat guilty for what they could not do - the
phone call not returned, the slightest tiff or huge argument - prevent the
brain disease.

It is a
tremendous pain in the brain that cannot, for the moment, be alleviated with
medicine, exercise, drinking, sleep, or logic.

The brain, in
its dis-eased state, cannot be reasoned with or cooled down.

It is searing
fire. In its fight or flight mandate to survive, it will attempt to
problem-solve, and herein lies the very misdirected thinking that leads to
suicide. “If I end my life, I will fix (stop) my problems. I’m not helping
anyone and this sickness is more than I can bear. It will never go away. I am a
burden to others.”

Suicide is the
decimation or domination of clear thinking, overpowering coping skills and
pushing out any feelings of being loved or needed.

And, like many
diseases, we don't understand where it originated, where it took hold, why such
a loved one got it when others did not.

Diseases do not
favor one person over another: we cannot say, "he was so talented, why
him?" or "she had so much to live for, how could she have given in to
---."

Many narrowly
escape this terminal ending of brain disease.

After more than
three decades, I have been "close" to suicide more than the average
person. I have spoken in depth to loved ones who have lost a family member to
suicide (child, parent, spouse) as well as folks that have tried and failed,
and then, a few who tried and ultimately succeeded.

Have you ever
tried to solve a complicated math problem? If it's beyond your abilities, you
will probably give up, knowing it’s pointless, saying something like "I
will never get this. I don’t have the brain power, patience, motivation - to
work it out. I can't solve it!" The fact is, there are math problems that
I simply will never be able to solve, and I know it. Life is sort of a math
riddle; lots of rules that nobody can ever accurately relay to us, we just kind
of "get it" at some point, if we're lucky (luck is defined as the
cocktail of DNA, family, health, temperament, spirit, opportunity).

"I can't
get this thing called life. Other people can. I can't and I never will. It’s
just out of my reach and I give up," is the exhaustion and frustration
speaking.

Those who
complete their suicide have almost always tried it before, maybe once, usually
several times. Suicide is the end of a long road. It’s physically painful. Air
hurts. Not for a day. Not for a week, or a month, but years. Feelings of
hopelessness, combined with impulsivity - mix in chronic pain, job loss, a
recent heartbreak. Problem-solving experiments show that the first thing to go
is creativity when pressure is increased. Creativity is an outgrowth of time,
patience, clear-thinking, freedom, respite. Once creative problem-solving is
squashed, ideas run dry and hope for the future is greatly diminished. Thinking
becomes like molasses.

Finally, suicide
is not meant to punish other people. That’s far too devious for the person
buried under a mountain of ash, unable to gasp a full breath, racing heart,
feeling of dread, terror, panic, shame…these are the words and feelings I have
heard about.

Please do not
refer to someone's suicide as a selfish BIG FUCK YOU. See it from their pinhole
shaft of light. Would I be angry at another disease that takes a loved one’s
life? Would I feel shame if my child or parent is taken by cancer or pneumonia?
No...I would reason that an illness took his life.

4.21.2015

Therapy is not selfish act; it can be painful and tedious, time-consuming and expensive.

But, to be the focus of a thoughtful person who is listening, caring and
helping to make sense of life’s chaos is something that the Internet can
never provide.

4.06.2015

Suicide is the result of a severe brain
dis-ease

The brain is diseased, dis-eased

The
last two weeks have brought 5 suicides to
my attention. Not my personal loved ones, but people and families that
are
facing this new and horrible fact. Their loved one will not ever return
and
they are stuck with the WHY's and the "I should haves" - even
distant friends and family, maybe those pushed away earlier by the
deceased,
will feel somewhat guilty for what they could not do - the phone call
not returned, the slightest tiff or huge argument - prevent the brain
disease.

It's not like most other diseases where a blood test or mass can prove
the toxin is present.

Howe‎ver, there are several diseases that also
do not meet that criteria: we simply rely on a series of red flags, arrows that
point in a certain direction before we can sum up the diagnosis.

Would I be angry at another disease that takes
a loved ones life? Would I feel shame if my child or parent is overtaken by,
say, cancer or pneumonia? No...I would intellectually understand that an illness took his life, disabled his immune system.

It is a tremendous pain in the brain that cannot,
for the moment, be alleviated with medicine, exercise, drinking, sleep, or logic.

The brain, in its dis-eased state, cannot be
reasoned with or cooled down.

It is searing fire. In its fight or flight
mandate to survive, it will attempt to problem-solve, and herein lies the very
misdirected thinking that leads to suicide. “If I end my life, I will fix (stop) my problems. I’m not helping
anyone and this sickness is more than I can bear. It will never go away. I am a
burden to others.”

Suicide is the decimation or domination of
clear thinking, overpowering coping skills and pushing out any feelings of
being loved or needed.

And, like many diseases, we don't understand
where it originated, where it took hold, why such a loved one got it when others
did not.

Diseases do not favor one person over another:
we cannot say, "he was so talented, why him?" or "she had so
much to live for, how could she have given in to ---."

Many narrowly escape this terminal ending of
brain disease.

‎

·We cannot totally prevent cancer, or brain disease, but we can be proactive and do some things that
lead to good health and well-being.

·Learn about healthy
behaviors

·Talk about healthy
behaviors

·Ask experts about
health and well-being

·Look for signs of poor
health

·Move beyond
embarrassment over moods, problems, appearances. It's just stupid to worry
about how we "look" to others.

·It's smart to worry
about how we feel and how we function in the world, our community.