Leaning in for teens — YA Summer Books Take 2

“Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg should be on teen reading lists. What, you say, this is a book for career women in their 30s and up? No, no. Have your teenage daughter read this now. And maybe even your son. Well, why not?

You see, by the time “Lean In” was written, I was already leaning so far out of my career that I’m in a near permanent backbend. This is a book I wish existed 20 years ago. But it wasn’t written until now, so I’m passing it on to my daughter.

Here are two things I think I would have gotten out of this BEFORE having kids: I would have had a plan. And I would’ve felt more comfortable and confident with my decisions.

Not too long ago, my daughter took the SATs for the 4th time.

My response when she asked me to pay the registration fee was something along the lines of “Seriously? Again?”

And then she said she had to take these tests that didn’t exist when I took the SAT called Subject Tests.

She said something along the lines of “This is my future.” Guiltily, I signed her up.

Then I remembered the number she taped up to her wall. It was her goal score for the last time she took the test. My daughter wants to keep getting better.

So, I picked up my copy of “Lean In” and bonked myself in the head with it.

Even though, I was in the middle of reading the book by Facebook’s chief operating officer when we were debating the merits of the SAT, I failed to make the connection that my daughter was doing just that — Leaning In. She was trying to succeed. She was being ambitious. And I want her to do that as much as possible.

Sheryl Sandberg argues that we shouldn’t be scaling back or turning down opportunities way before we have a child, something women do. I know I did that. “The months and years leading up to having children are not the time to lean back, but the critical time to lean in.”

I think that’s the crux of the book. Don’t turn down the opportunities. That’s such good advice. Take them and see where they go. It’s something I definitely will tell both of my daughters.That way they’ll be in a much better place to demand flexibility if kids come along.

In the book, Sandberg recounted the speech she gave to a Barnard College graduating class, telling them “As you walk off this stage today, you start your adult life. Start by aiming high. Try — and try hard.”

The good thing is that I can pass on Sandberg’s wisdom to my daughters and even cash in on some of it now as my youngest daughter becomes more independent, and I get out of my backbend. I can make some of my own plans.

And I just found out my daughter may want to take the Subject Tests again. You go and crush those tests, daughter. But read “Lean In” first.