Comments on: Admit it, you’ve practiced attachment parentinghttps://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/
A place for parents to talk about life's most challenging jobSun, 09 Apr 2017 17:28:46 +0000hourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.4By: Magpieshttps://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/#comment-78162
Wed, 16 May 2012 12:26:39 +0000http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/?p=17585#comment-7816220-year-old on an interview accompanied by mommy or daddy? Who else would change their diaper?
]]>By: Other Jeffhttps://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/#comment-78096
Tue, 15 May 2012 22:59:39 +0000http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/?p=17585#comment-78096Look, it takes a light touch, not that I know anything about mothering. The line dividing attachment and neglect is extremely subjective, and I don’t think there is a single right way or formula for raising a child.

That said, the “attachment” many American children have to their parents is beyond disturbing, and in some cases crippling to social development. I see nothing wrong with making personal decisions with how you raise your child or how close they should be or whether or not to feed them from the breast and how long, the trick is knowing when to let them go.

Parents are beginning to accompany their children to interviews where I work, and they predate some of the fashionable attachment parenting. I have no problem telling them to their face that if they cannot attend an interview in their twenties without a parent in attendance to coach them, that they won’t cut it there.

I might not know mothering, but I do know males, and it’s pretty easy to give one a complex if you can’t let him do some living of his own.

]]>By: Lesliehttps://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/#comment-78084
Tue, 15 May 2012 20:14:17 +0000http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/?p=17585#comment-78084I am the mother of a 6 month old and am proud to say that I do not attachment parent. When I was pregnant, friends of ours gave us the “Baby Book.” I knew they AP’ed their oldest (and did not for their youngest because it was a nighmare). After spending a few minutes reading the book, I had to put it down, because the ideas in it are so against my beliefs. You aren’t supposed to put the baby down? No strollers?? I can’t fathom going to the store holding my 15 pound baby- let alone a toddler.

I had trouble nursing and did not produce enough milk and had to stop. If you read the Baby Book, the bible for AP, it essentially shuns formula and treats moms who don’t nurse as bad. I don’t feel that practicing a theory that guilt trips parents is a good thing. The book states that putting a child in a crib is akin to putting them behind bars, and letting them cry will cause brain damage. I can’t in good faith follow that practice- it is too extreme.

And by the way, my daughter is one of the happiest babies you will ever see- she never stops smiling and loves us. We let her cry sometimes- she just won’t take a nap sometimes and cries because she is exhausted, so we put her down or cuddle her until she falls asleep. Otherwise when she is just fussing for no reason, we ignore her. She can’t be taught that fussing produces affection. She slept in her crib on her own for a whole night at 6 weeks old. With AP, she would be in my bed, nursing every hour or so. I’d take the first alternative any day.

I however, would never bash another parent who chooses AP, it is just not something that works for us. If you are committed to nursing for a year or so, never putting the baby down, sleeping with the baby, etc, then go for it. Me, I could not handle that amount of pressure.

]]>By: momto1https://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/#comment-78083
Tue, 15 May 2012 20:10:07 +0000http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/?p=17585#comment-78083How much of the outrage about attachment parenting is due to self-imposed guilt? If parents are comfortable about their choices to formula feed, cry it out, sleep train, etc, why respond with outrage to others’ choices to raise their children differently? I’ve received my share of criticism for extended breastfeeding (even though I didn’t consider it extended), co-sleeping and refusal to cry it out. I don’t really care. I respond to the criticism as an attempt to educate others about approaches that are a little different that the norm in US society, but I don’t get angry or make derogatory comments those who make different choices.
]]>By: momto1https://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/#comment-78080
Tue, 15 May 2012 19:54:08 +0000http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/?p=17585#comment-78080Thank you, Rita. Many people confusing attachment parenting with helicopter parenting. I know many, many parents who practice attachment parenting without assigning a label. I chose to nurse, avoid the use of swings and other devices, respond to cries, sleep in the same room as my child, and avoid the use of babysitters and daycare before I ever head the words “attachment parenting.” It’s an approach that works for some families. Many of us were raised in the same manner and it is the norm in many countries. I don’t bash others for taking other approaches. I didn’t read all of the Time articles about this topic. I have read many of Dr. Sears’ writings over the years, and I don’t recall any unreasonable criticism of other parenting styles. He is opposed to crying it out and makes strong statements about it. I don’t consider that unreasonable.
]]>By: The Mommy Psychologisthttps://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/#comment-77989
Tue, 15 May 2012 06:23:22 +0000http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/?p=17585#comment-77989As a child psychologist and a mom, one of the things that is so misleading about attachment parenting is the name. It is only called attachment parenting because of the theory it was based upon. It is not called this because it is the only form of parenting which allows parents to develop a secure attachment relationship with their children. There are numerous ways to develop a secure attachment relationship with our kids. I explore more of this myth here for anyone who is interested:http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/04/15/what-does-the-mommy-psychologist-have-to-say-about-attachment-parenting/
]]>By: Maryhttps://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/#comment-77974
Tue, 15 May 2012 02:50:52 +0000http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/?p=17585#comment-77974I have not read his book, but I have heard him talk on TV. He seems to be very respectful of working parents. He has said, you can only do what you can do. He was raised by a single mother, and that was very difficult. What I hear is that your baby loves it when you touch and love on them, and do what you can.

I have had seven children. The first four I did not nurse, and let them cry to sleep. The last three I did nurse and let them sleep with me. I do see the difference, but I did what I had to do to be a good parent at that time in my life. I still don’t get the anger. If this works for parents more power to them. If it is not for you keep the schedule. I have lived both ways. I was happy with the schedule, but my children were happy without. Do what works for you.

]]>By: Kellihttps://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/#comment-77971
Tue, 15 May 2012 02:11:48 +0000http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/?p=17585#comment-77971Your description and assessment of attachment parenting is away off. Attachment parenting is not the same as helicopter parenting. I practice both, but am proud of only one- attachment parenting. It has more to do with responding sensitively to your child, and not so much the specifics that that entails. I didn’t co-sleep, breastfed for “only” 16 months, and still wear her at nearly 3 years old, because she sometimes likes to be close while we are out and about. Crazy? Maybe. Pardon me for not wanting to push an empty stroller while carrying a 30+ pound toddler. As for helicopter parenting, this is simply not the same. I trust my daughter 100% to play safely and nicely at the playground, but I have a hard time not being nearby in case she’s about to get knocked over, or, you know, in case someone tries to steal her. Its not to be sensitive to her needs or however else I or others might accurately describe attachment parenting. It’s my own fears and anxiety.

I very recently started following this blog, but I’m very turned off by it now. Not because our opinions differ, but because of the complete lack of regard for an accurate definition or description of attachment parenting. I realize this is a blog and is your opinion, but as a writer for a news outlet, it would work in your favor to write more accurately.

]]>By: Tracy Ormsbeehttps://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/#comment-77955
Mon, 14 May 2012 21:42:27 +0000http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/?p=17585#comment-77955Tracy says: Mary: I think what is upsetting is this is not presented as a “what works for some families” choice. Dr. Sears is saying this is the only way — that those who don’t jump for every cry are damaging their children. That’s upsetting.
]]>By: Maryhttps://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/17585/admit-it-youve-practiced-attachment-parenting/#comment-77952
Mon, 14 May 2012 20:35:41 +0000http://blog.timesunion.com/parenting/?p=17585#comment-77952It seems to make some angry. This way of showing love to a child that I am having a problem with. This is a choice that a family should make, and to respect the choice to not do so as well. If I listen to working parents this is not in the schedule for the day. I understand that this is not for every family, but I don’t understand why so many are so angry about this working for others. The statements are just that statements. If you are happy with the way you parent no one statement will change that.
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