The Key To Effective Communicating

Tag Archives: life

In earlier posts, I’ve given a few examples of how our handwriting shows a lot about our personalities. In this post I’ll get more into the letters. For example:

Write this sentence in cursive if possible. Sam’s flem flam flemming in a serious situation will likely cause more issues.

Ok, take a look at your upper loops in your f’s and l’s. Is the loop wide or thin? A wide loop suggests that you’re ‘open’ to the opinions or suggestions of others. A closed loop suggests the opposite. If you’ve ever tried to convince someone of something and no matter how hard you tried they just wouldn’t go for it, this person probably has very narrow loops if any at all. On the other hand the person that seems to go whichever way the wind blows probably has almost circular loops.

Photo Credit : thenewsthatmatters.blogspot.com

Next, take a look at your m’s and n’s. Are they wide, narrow, or medium-sized? Wide m’s or n’s typically show the Physical personality (extrovert). Narrow m’s and n’s typically indicate an Emotional personality (introvert). Medium sized m’s and n’s indicate more of a balance between the two.

Does your s look like the number eight? This is normally an indicator of artistic qualities. The ‘normal’ s indicates the ability to fit in or follow directions.

Lastly, look at your lower loops in the g’s and y’s. If your loops are big wide and connect back to the base line or the u part of the y, you are most likely a Physical. If your loops curl near the bottom or go straight down without curving at all, you’re most likely an Emotional.

In this technological revolution the art of writing is being lost to the convenience of doing it faster. Writing is therapeutic in that it reveals our emotional states and can actually change them when directed to do so.

Take a look at your mates writing, if it’s the opposite of yours, this is normally a sign of good compatibility. I didn’t say it means you’re supposed to be with this specific person, just that you are compatible with them. Don’t worry if your handwriting is the same as theirs, this is only for entertainment purposes and something fun to know.

One day the wife of a friend of mine called to tell me that she was on the way to the hospital because my friend had collapsed at work.

Earlier that day just before leaving for work he poured a bowl of cereal and went to the refrigerator for milk there was none. He decides well it’s not that serious I’ll just add water. He takes a couple of bites and sits the bowl on the counter. After running back upstairs to grab his tie and briefcase he charges out the door. He’s halfway out of the driveway before he realizes that he’d forgotten his cereal. He pulls back into the garage, runs inside and grabs hs cup only to discover that a family of ants had beaten him to it. “Argh!!!” he exclaims. He slams the ingredients from the cup into the garbage disposal and flips the switch… it doesn’t work. “Oh my god!!!”

He immediately calls his wife to ask whether she knew of this mechanical failure and she replies, “Yes.”

“Well, why didn’t you tell me about it?!” he yells.

“I didn’t think it was that serious, I was going to tell you today.”

“You didn’t think it was that serious?! See, that’s what I’m talking about, you never take anything ‘that’ seriously. You should have told me last night, I would’ve had someone out here to fix it!

“Look, what is your problem? You never call me at work and when you do, this is what you call about? I’m at work, I don’t have time for this. Bye! -click

This of course sends him into a complete tizzy. He jumps back into the car and heads off to work fuming. Traffic is horrible and the cereal episode only made arriving to work on time even more difficult. Once there he receives a phone call explaining that his mother had been diagnosed with cancer and they needed him to come down to see her. Well, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. All of this was too much to handle and his mind/body broke down. After receiving various sedatives and being monitored for a few hours he was released and told to take it easy for a few days and he’s now doing a lot better. (true story.)

Now, my purpose for calling this one how to commit suicide is to bring attention to how we get to that point in the first place. The trojan horse called stress is to blame in this case but the funny thing is, it only has as much power as YOU give to it. Whether voluntary or involuntarily, your body will find a way to escape too much stress. People that go through with the thought of committing this self-destruction typically do so because the ‘stress’ of life becomes too much to bear. It’s actually more common than you think for people to have such thoughts but luckily not everyone continues down that path.

If you think about it, that’s what we spend the majority of our time doing…trying to avoid stress. That’s what our heavens or after life promises are…no dying – stress, no sickness – stress, no disagreements – stress, and so on. It even says on the tomb stones… rest in peace.

Well I’d like to ‘suggest’ to you that you don’t have to wait until death to experience peace. If you’d like to have less stress in your life…wait for it….let it go! Yeah, it’s that simple. Stress is an unwelcome visitor in your home (body)…kick him out! (ha) Seriously though, you only have what you’re holding on to…aren’t there more pleasant things in life to hold onto than self-destruction?

Like this:

Note: (This is the extreme case of this personality, also physical in this case means extrovert.)

Dear Physical Mother,

Please put your child down and back away slowly… lol. What a perfect mother you are. Your attentiveness and your awareness of your child’s every move and thought are to be commended. If more people would show the care and concern that you do for your child there’d be less room for random events occurring in the lives of our future societal custodians. Your family looks nice, eats well and stays active in current events. People mistake your love and attention for being over protective and they don’t understand that what goes on in ‘your’ house is none of their business. Your husband or boyfriend may tell you to stop baby-ing your child but your protective nature wards off any who dare challenge your authority. Physical mother, thank you for your unconditional love.

That was the good part…

Here are some ways to enhance your home environment for the better. First…there is a such thing as loving too much. The undying love that you show to your child will ultimately result in hate and disdain from your child. Without autonomy (one’s ability to make decisions for themselves), your child will become dependent on you for most of their decision-making. God forbid that anything should ever happen to you, your child will be left without a guide and will only then begin to grow up; unfortunately sometimes too late. The resentment will come from them wanting to be left alone and not always having someone looking over their shoulder to see if they’re doing things right. This also makes for an emotional (withdrawn) child or what most women hate…a momma’s boy. Remember that in oder for two personalities to coexist, one has to make room for the other. So, if your personality is huge and fills a room, you will only be surrounded by people whose personality can endure the weight of yours…or there’ll be problems. What you’re meaning for good is resulting in a problem for someone else. I know you’d say “that’s ok he/she can come back and live with me.” Uh, stop that…that is not healthy for your child.

As it relates to a mate, your mate ‘should’ again be someone who accommodates your personality. This means the more of a physical that you are, the more of an emotional you’ll need to exist in peace. It’s normally the physical woman who says, “I want a man who can handle me.” The type of man who could ‘handle’ you would be a physical. The only problem with this scenario is that he’d try to turn you into an emotional (introvert or submissive)… that’s not going to workout too well for you. The type of guy that would ‘balance’ you is the one that you probably can’t stand in a relationship but makes a great friend…the emotional. Now if you’re wondering why most of the guys that you meet at the club don’t quite workout in long-term relationships, it’s because they’re just like you – a physical. The type of guy that you really need is probably at home on the computer…yes I know you know the type. This guy is the one that can settle you down when you’re too anxious. He’s the voice of reason when things get out of control. He’s not a loser or less than a man because he procrastinated when it comes to confronting challenging situations or making a payment arrangement for that matter. He’s a thinker you’re the do-er. He also doesn’t do confrontation well…this is why he normally backs down or walks away from any sign of an issue. If we’d allow each person to play their role and not try to make them into ourselves life would become a lot easier.

I’ll say this in closing; there is no right or wrong as it relates to each personality, there are only differences. Physical mother I beg of you to balance your love and affection for your child and your mate. Our gifts when not used correctly turn into curses. Balance is the key to life and what better talents to balance than love and affection.

Note: Physical =Extrovert (Also, this is the extreme case of this personality)

The physical father is known by many names; the go getter, a leader, the A type personality, hustler, playa playa, a ‘real man’, the life of the party, quick-tempered, a**hole, mover and shaker… and the list goes on. So let’s see how this personality works in a relationship.

The physical male/female are called this because of their physical connection to their emotions. This means if they think or feel it, they typically are going to do or say it and typically before thinking or caring about the ’emotional’ consequences behind it. This is also the reason for their promiscuity, quick tongue and most importantly spontaneity.

Most likely you’ve married an emotional that sees you as bossy, never home, needing too much sex and a serious charmer…to other women that is. When you walk into a room people tense up because they never know when you’re going to snap about something insignificant and then go on like nothing ever happened.

I almost don’t need to tell you how to make your home life a little easier because (I mean this in the best way) you’re not a good listener; you’re a great talker. You’re a giver, not a receiver but the havoc that you wreak on those around you clouds your good intentions. People don’t take your candor the way that you mean for them to…they take it personally.

The physical affection that you show your family is unmatched, however your quick temper and passion can easily turn into physical abuse. This just comes from your need to ‘physically’ express your emotions. You will effectively turn your children into bullies, outspoken problem kids in school. If your child is always getting into trouble for talking in class or not following directions…its very likely that you’re already successful in passing down your traits.

I want to reiterate that this personality is not bad or negative, it just is! The whole purpose of attracting your opposite is to bring balance to your life. There is nothing wrong with the person that you’re with, they must have a smaller personality to make room for your huge one. If you think that you’d be better off with someone more like yourself…ha please go try it. You’d make great friends with a physical partner but you’d kill each other in a relationship. You’d argue all the time over what would seem like little things. You’d always be gone…so would she. The biggest argument would be…you’re not the boss of me!!!

Ok, lastly let me say that because you have sex with your body and not your mind (emotions), it’s harder for you to be satisfied. This leads to late nights at the office, more ‘hanging out’ with the guys etc. What you may not know is that although your emotional partner may not face you directly about your behavior, they are doing something about it. You should talk to: Lionel Richie, Al Green and most painfully John Bobbitt.

At the end of the day it’s just about balance; so physical father if you’d like to make home life a little better; count to ten before reacting in any situation…calm down then speak or take action…everything doesn’t require a fight!

Like this:

For anyone that has read my earlier posts, you know that when I say Emotional that means the introvert and the physical is the extrovert. As I see the divorce rate climb and new marriage rate fall, I thought I’d discuss an issue that is most times overlooked when trying to find a cause for this trend. This is my letter to the emotional father:

Dear Emotional Father,

Someone does get you. The place of solitude where you reside is only mental incarceration when not used for positive means. You are very thoughtful when others are not and although you don’t show it, you know that you care even more than most. People don’t understand that your silence is your stress release and deny you your time to unwind. They don’t understand that when the ride in the car gets quiet it doesn’t mean that something’s wrong it’s just that you’re thinking more intently about the conversation. Your patience is unmatched and people always find you easy to talk to or a great listener. Emotional father…I get it!

Now that we’ve established that, let me explain to you how to make your life a lot easier. First of all in your home, you must, must, must become more verbal about your feelings toward your family! You must, must, must begin to physically interact with your family more. Wrestle, hug, kiss etc. human beings need affection and physical contact to survive and someone has chosen to get that from you! Although you may say I’m just not good with that, its only because that’s how you were taught to communicate (fake it till you make it). Believe it or not you can become a more sociable person. You will never change into a completely different person, but you can modify your behavior as it is now. Your, daughter needs it, your son needs it, your wife needs it! The alternative to this is to continue to have a disfunctional family. Your wife and your child are doing things that you have no idea about because they’re keeping things inside ..just…like…you!

Would you agree that most arguments start with an issue but always end with how the other doesn’t know how to communicate? What you’re each saying is that the other doesn’t know how to communicate the way that you do…and you’re right! But that doesn’t make them wrong. The wrong in these case is the lack of understanding what communication truly is. Communication is saying what you want to a person the way they need to hear it. It’s that simple. This requires truly listening and getting an understanding of how the other person expresses themselves and stop calling them wrong for doing so.

So, I’ll close this by saying how we express our emotions are the beginning and end of all relationship woes. If we’d first understand ourselves and how we express and receive information, we could then begin the process of understanding someone else. At the end of the day, any issue that you have in your life , as it relates to communication, is only solved by changing yourself first!!!!

Did you know that it’s possible to tell whether you’re a physical or an emotional just by looking at your handwriting? It’s true! Our handwriting is controlled by our ideo-motor responses which simply means that its controlled by our subconscious. It’s like riding a bike; once you know how, you then only concern yourself with where you’re going. With writing, you don’t think about how to write only what to.

Before you read on please find a blank sheet of line-less paper (Ifyou read this first you’ll spoil it for yourself). Write down this phrase in cursive if you can (preferred):

My handwriting will tell me six thousand five hundred and forty-eight things about my personality.

Which way are the letters leaning? Left, right or straight up and down?

Leaning to right – Most likely physical

Leaning left – Most likely emotional

Straight up and down – most likely intellectual

If you find that the entire sentence has an upward slant, you’re probably really optimistic about something in your life right now. If it’s slanting downward you’re probably not feeling so well about something.

If your handwriting is constantly changing, it’s because your mood is probably also constantly changing.

Most of us were taught to write from left to right and with a right leaning slant. However when our subconscious mind is activated, it does whatever it wants. I use the words most likely and probably a lot because no one fits perfectly into any group as one commenter reminded me.

So, emotionals are typically introverts so the left lean simulates withdrawal or a pulling away from. Physicals are typically extroverts so their letters lean forward. Its funny too because this is how they communicate physically as well. The physical is always coming forward and in your face and the emotional is backing away like, “Hey, back up a little you’re too close.” Ha. There are so many more interesting things you can learn from your handwriting. I just wanted to share with you a few.

So, the next time you’re looking at someone’s handwriting, check it out and see if you can make out which personality they are.

Like this:

In high school I was the quiet type. I envied the guys with the ‘silver tongue’ method of communicating; it seemed that they got all the women. Now I had my share of girlfriends don’t get me wrong, but compared to these guys I was a ranked amatuer. Most of the girls I dated was because they liked me first, then I’d learn to like them in return. It seemed that I was doomed to the left overs of these egotistical word smiths.

Until one day…I moved to a new city. I could create a new identity and become the personality I admired from a diistance. The city was overrun with beautiful single professional women. A friend told me that all I needed to get a woman here was a nice haircut…Ha. I was like a kid in a candy store…every size, shape or shade was there for the taking. I didn’t know where to begin. It didn’t matter, because in this city, the women were the agressors. I thought it was a fluke that nice looking women wanted to talk to me badly enough to innitiate conversation. Once it happened five more times…I was convenced that I’d died and gone to heaven. I never considered my self some god of good looks (and still don’t) but there were so many women that I was getting dates by default..lol. Subsequently my plan to become this A type personality was thwarted. Women actually liked that I was not like all the other guys that approached them…I was ‘different’ they’d say. I had no idea that this world existed but I liked it to say the least.

At the end of the day I learned that you don’t have to be someone else to be successful in life…you only need to put yourself where your personality would be most effective.