Empire of Groovy

Moment of Observation: OMG NFW!!!

But you know what? I don’t even care about that. Really. Because has anyone cared about Hilary Duff in a while? (Lizzie McGuire fans…bwa ha ha ha ha!) What is *killing* me about this, though, is her excuse.

Because her dog ate her homework. And she didn’t do anything, she just fell asleep while studying and couldn’t call. Oh, dear. What’s that about methinking someone doth protest too much? She even tweeted about it in an effort to clear her name, saying “Yikes me holding a cigarette for my friend might have been a bad idea! pretty bummed about the photo.. Sorry guys, looks worst [sic] than it is!”

A few things to consider:

1) As a former smoker, I can attest you generally don’t ask someone to hold your cigarette for you unless you suddenly need to get stitches in your smoking hand, and even then it’s a toss-up. And you REALLY don’t ask a holier-than-thou non-smoker with a publicist.

2) Where IS this friend? Oh, right, getting stitches.

3) When your non-smoking friend holds your cigarette for you, they usually hold it between their thumb and forefinger and away from the body, like it’s something that smells bad and don’t want to touch. Non-smokers don’t hold a cigarette in the loaded position, close to the body, waiting to get dragged upon.

4) If you’re that concerned about image, girl, then what were you thinking? Is the word “paparazzi” new to you?

Seriously, Hils. You’re an adult, and this is a legal activity. “I’m holding it for a friend” hasn’t worked as an excuse since the invention of excuses. Either admit they’re yours or just stop talking about it, because each time you open your mouth you sound a little bit more ridiculous. But hey, thanks for the chuckle. And of course I know those birth control pills aren’t yours.