Thursday, August 14, 2008

Bigfoot Body Found

Basically, a couple of professional Bigfoot hunters found a carcass, stuck it in a freezer, and let a few select people take pictures of it. Now press releases are circulating worldwide announcing that DNA and photo evidence to be presented at a press conference this Friday in California. I’d link you to the original press release but www.searchingforbigfoot.com has exceeded its bandwidth. Apparently I’m not the only one trying to go there for the first time tonight.

The hunters say they saw several Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) walking near where they found the body, but at this point they refuse to reveal the location "to protect the creatures". Good for them! Stay strong Bigfoot dudes, fight the bad guys and protect the shy Bigfoot from the scientists! (Remember E.T.?) No, wait. These guys are Bigfoot hunters, not activists. They just aren’t telling where they found it, because they’re planning to capture a live Bigfoot now. Assholes. As much as I want Bigfoot to be real, I also want this one to be fake so that they can continue to live their secret, shy, natural existence without human interference.