Nadya Suleman

Ladies and gentlemen, you have just died and gone to D-List heaven. Which is more commonly known as plain old “hell”. But today we’ll call it Celebrity Fight Night, a truly surreal spectacle that even Satan himself couldn’t have conceived. Yet where else can you watch celebs you wanna pummel into submission pummel each other in to submission? Your dreams come true, and you don’t even have to get your hands dirty! It’s a beautiful thing.

All of your favorites are here, including tabloid classics like Kato Kaelin,Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fischer. The current attention-whore of the moment is soon-to-be single (hear that ladies?) Tareq Salahi, whose dog burial photo-op puts him in the running for Worst Human Ever. He’s set to duke it out with former ball player and steroid enthusiast, Jose Canseco. There’s even Michael Lohan and Nadya “Octomom” Suleman, whose combined parental skills would create the largest and most dysfunctional family this world has ever known. And the whole thing will be overseen by none-other than Kevin Federline, who will act as honorary ref. Some of the fighters threw fake punches for photo ops, but things got real when Amy Fischer’s husband Lou Ballera socked Joey Buttafuoco in the mouth for real! Check out more of the insanity in the gallery below.

Uh, don’t wait up for a phone call babe, because it ain’t coming. Since theÃ‚Â cast of Dancing With The Stars Season 11 is being put together, it’s catching the attention of a whole bunch of stragglers looking to get some sort of teeny-tiny break. Leading the pack is Octomom aka Nadya Suleman, who desperately wants an in on DWTS.

And since she’s shy (NOT) about making her intentions known, she’s got her lawyer, Jeff Czech to be her mouthpiece. He trumpeted, “Nadya is in top physical shape.Ã‚Â She has been working out for months.Ã‚Â She has had a strong interest in dance and Dancing With The Stars is one of the few shows that she takes time to watch.Ã‚Â She’d love to do it.” ‘Course she would. Doesn’t mean it’s going to happening. They’ve got a phenomenal D-List ready to shimmy and they’re not going to downgrade to Z-list. Besides, they’ve already had one mommy-of-eight on the show (Hi, Kate Gosselin) and that was a disaster! We have a feeling Octomom would be an even bigger diva than Kate.

BTW, much to our chagrin, the cast isn’t going to include Kirstie Alley. She refuted the news over Twitter, tweeting, “Lol… Just a rumor… Imagine that. NOT doing DWTS this season… Way too chicken!! Maybe next season if Im invited again!!!” And no Nadya, you can’t take her place.

Michael Samrava, the doctor who helped turn Nadya Suleman into the Octomom just over a year ago, is in danger of losing his license. According to papers filed by the California Attorney General, Samrava used fresh eggs when frozen embryos were available, inserted more “beyond the reasonable judgement of any treating physician,” and failed to recommend a necessary psychiatric evaluation for Suleman. Unsurprisingly, the mother of 14 sees things differently.

“If they are saying he transferred too many, he didn’t do anything wrong,” Suleman—one of our 9 Celebrity Losers To Leave Behind In ’09—told Radar, chalking up any inconsistencies in her paper work re: frozen embryos to “signing papers I didn’t read.” But the Octomom’s motive for defending Samrava’s questionable choices may not be selfless in nature. “What am I going to do if I ever want to go back?” she joked. At least, we hope she’s joking.

In 2009, a lot of ordinary people became famous for next-to-nothing, previously A-list stars fell from grace, and quasi-celebs made outlandish statements for publicity. From the Balloon Boy stunt to Glenn Beck‘s fear-mongering to Tiger Woods‘ mistresses coming out of the woodwork; some people really tested our patience and wore us thin. Here are the top nine “celebrity” losers we hope go into hiding for 2010.

9. Balloon Boy’s Dad: Think little Falcon Henne had any idea about his fame-guzzlin’ father’s publicity plot while he was chillin’ in a box in their attic? We doubt it, and the little guy’s televised bodily functions pretty well summed up how we felt about the whole stunt after we wasted hours of our lives watching an empty weather balloon float above Colorado.

We hate to add fuel the fame-whoring fire of Jon Gosselin and the Octomom, but the rumors of the two joining forces for reality television are too awesomely disastrous for us to ignore. The Gosselin camp is already furiously denying the dating show, but we’re holding out hope for the 22 children-deep couple.

TMZ allegedly obtained a copy of the pitch for the duo’s show, in which it boldly states that the “Jon + Nadya” show would challenge the ratings of “American Idol.” While that’s a lofty statement, they could count on viewership from theFABlife. We’re suckers for a good trainwreck. [Source: NY Daily News, TMZ; Photo: Splash News Online]

Rumors of an impending dating show with Octomom Nadya Suleman have sent Jon Gosselin into his nuttiest shame spiral yet. “I am troubled to learn that the media has accepted as true the scurrilous rumor that I would appear in a reality television program with Nadya Suleman,” he toldUs. “This is utterly false. I do, however, accept that some of my previous actions have in some way lent credence to such outrageous stories.” That’s true, JoGo—dating Octomom ain’t much worse than rolling with Michael Lohan. So how are you going to profit—sorry, so what are you going to do about it?

“It is for this reason that I have endeavored of late to reconnect with my deeper, more spiritual, more altruistic self with regular study sessions and counseling with Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, whose morality-centered-and-values-based advice, coupled with his profound commitment to fatherhood and family, I deeply respect.” Uh oh… “I have always endeavored to be a loving father and a devoted parent who serves as a moral exemplar to his eight children…I have therefore agreed to a forum at New York’s West Side Synagogue this Sunday where I intend to publicly apologize in a sacred space to those whom I have hurt.” Wow. Even when JoGo’s sorry he’s selling tickets. Here’s a sneak preview of Sunday’s speech.

Despite his denials, the Octomom rumor mill rages on. “Jon’s camp got scared because they didn’t expect the story to come out so quickly,” some nutbar told the Daily News. “They figured they would issue a denial now while they still work out negotiations for the show…Jon definitely wants to do the show.” We can’t tell if JoGo is weaving the web, trapped in it, or both.

Having learned nothing from Jon and Kate Gosselin, Octomom Nadya Suleman has signed a deal to star in her own reality show produced by the same team that created Breaking Bonaduce and The Biggest Loser. While she’s famous for having octuplets, let’s not forget Suleman has 14 kids in total, each of whom will earn $250 per shooting day on the show. Over the next three years, that will come to nearly $250,000. No small change, but peanuts compared to the $3 million or so per season the Gosselins reportedly make.

Suleman’s lawyer, Jeff Czech, explained that the “non-intrusive” show would feature story-lines like, “Nadya dating, taking the kids to birthday parties, learning how to drive a 14-person van.” You know, plots that take the edge off the fact that she’s still exploiting 14 innocent kids who are all under the age of seven. The show will start taping in September. [Photo: GettyImages]

With all the drama going on with Jon and Kate, Octomom Nadya Suleman was nearly long forgotten. But now, the mother of fourteen is back, having signed a deal to have reality show cameras follow her and her litter of kids.

Her attorney, Jeff Czech, insists that this is no Jon and Kate Plus 8. The deal specifies that the show will be a “quasi-reality” series where “several events in the children’s lives would be filmed in a documentary series.”

Maybe going on a family trip to pick up their food stamps will be the first “event.” [Source: NYDN; Photo: Getty Images]

Seventy-seven days after their birth, Nadya Suleman‘s infamous octuplets are all reunited. The eighth octuplet, Jonah Angel, was on his way home last night when Nadya (who says she doesn’t want to be famous but is reportedly getting a reality show), talked to the press about it.

“Jonah is coming home tonight. He’s great. They kept him because he was too small but he’s strong. It really is a miracle. I’m so excited. Tomorrow, I will have my full family here for the first time. It is a great feeling,” Nadya told Life & Style.

Jonah joins his thirteen other siblings at the infamous Octocrib, and life as part of Octomom’s circus begins.

Growing up in that chaotic house, he’ll probably have a tumultuous childhood and end up on the cover of OK! magazine in a few years with a sad forlorn face and the blaring headline, “The Eighth Octuplet – My Side of the Story.”