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How much is appropriate for a players mom to be talking to my husband, even if it just about soccer??

my daughter is on a club soccer team and my husband attends all practices and games. i have 2 other kids at home, so i don't attend all practices, but do go to all games. practices are 3 times a week for a couple hrs each time. during these practices, my husband has been the 'soccer dad' as most of the moms show up and the dads occasionally as well. with all the time spent together, naturally friendships will build and phone #'s are exchanged, etc. My problem is this- there is a woman (mom of a player) that is calling/texting my husband a lot, more than i am comfortable with. they speak only about soccer- problems with the team, etc. my husband is a very kind man, humerous and easy to like. i know because that is why i fell for him myself. he does tend to innocently flirt by way of teasing, joking etc. and they over the summer seemed to really have built a friendship. I am friends with her, and i don't think anything romantic

Talk to your husband. He may not know you are offended by the friendship. I understand making small talk at the soccer field, but texting is a bit much. Especially if your husband is not a coach or someone who has a leadership role in charge of an activity like snacks or something. Besides what can't they say on the field that has to be justified in calling personally or texting.

i don't think anything romantic is happening but she calls him almost after every game to get ‘his take on it’which is just annoying.
adding to my question: He says there is nothing wrong with this, and it’s no big deal. I don’t know why she has to keep running to my husband for his thoughts, she has a husband she can talk to… at what point is enough enough? He does a full 180’ and says well then I won’t go to practice anymore so I don’t have to deal with this. Now I go once a week and he goes twice and he has stopped engaging in their jokes, etc. I didn’t ask him to not talk to her; just chill out a bit. She calls him still, just not as much because he isn’t respoding like he used to.

Comment by
Anonymous
(original poster)
at 4:55 PM on Jan. 8, 2013

If the relationship really bothers you, I'd say something to your husband. But first I'd do a self-check and see why the relationship makes you feel uncomfortable, because if it's really just about soccer, there's no need for jealousy. I personally believe in both partners in a couple having friends of either sex; it's good for the relationship when there are other conversational and recreational outlets besides each other.

i would agree but it is just so much, and no other mom on the team does this with him, and she doesn't call any other 'dad' ... it is just weird. i usally have no issue if it seems balanced.

Comment by
Anonymous
(original poster)
at 5:00 PM on Jan. 8, 2013

I would pick up the phone every time it's her calling, if you want to be subtle. I'm on the other hand a bit more forward. Next time you see her, I would say "Wow, you must know what we eat 3x a week because you call almost every night." Real loud in front of her husband. Heheh, but that's just me.

That's definitely crossing a few lines
How could there possibly be that much to talk about??
I'd go to her and tell her that i am not happy with her calling and texting him
Are you seeing the texts? hearing both sides of the conversations?

Oh geeze, I text and talk to a lot of my sons soccer, wrestling, football dads. A lot of moms aren't to involved, plus we have a chain I get a text from the coach and I text five people which are the dads which ends up in a conversation. Maybe you should involve yourself more? And don't give me the kids as a bs exscuse. I take a 1 y.o, 3 y.o and 13 y.o to practices with me.

yeah, i would say we are "friends", but she talks to him a lot more than me. i have made myself known a lot more around the field as of late; and i think he agrees it is better. i don't think she is trying to move in on him- but i think they both benefit from the flirtiness of their relationship and it is fun. to me it is just annoying. call me jealous or whatever but he has always been this way and doesn't ever see how inappropriate it is, and how rude it is to me. we have been married 15 years, together 20 so i don't think he is cheating or anything- but can't get him to understand that there are some boundary issues he is crossing...