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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

IWSG: Caught in the Overflow of Awesomeness

The Insecure Writer's Support Group is a mouthy bloghop where writers
are welcome to relax, lay back in a chair, and let out their
feelings without fear of judgement. Thanks to our host, Alex J. Cavanaugh for keeping this group going for so long. It has been a tremendous help so far, and I'm glad to be a part of this.

No more excuses. I've put quite a few things off for far too long, so it's now or never. What insecurity am I facing this mouth? I've had more time than usual during the last month to think about where I'm headed and what needs to be done, and while there is much to be happy and excited, and grateful about, I keep tripping over myself.

You know how when you're hungry, and you sit down to a big meal, and then you start piling your plate with deliciousness? Hunger can overpower rationale, hence the phrase, "your eyes are bigger than your stomach," or, "you've bitten off more than you can chew."

Well ... the same principle applies to what you do outside of eating. A lot of that, for me, is writing, and having a book deal after 15 years of trying and applying myself, having that offer was like inviting someone to a Thanksgiving feast who hasn't eaten a decent meal in months - and the invitations didn't stop there. I thought I could do it all: blog daily, have three writing groups, accept every ARC review invitation, etc, etc, all while writing novels and still having time for my family.

Earnest as my intentions were, I am no Superman ...

The realization hit a few weeks ago. I had finished typing up a few posts, so I rubbed my eyes and headed upstairs. It was almost 11 at night. To my surprise, my son was up, and my wife was reading to him. I went to the frame, to listen in, and when the story was over, I heard my son. "Mom ... why is Dad on the computer all the time?"

That was my wake-up call, and the start of some serious reflection. Why is my WiP meter crawling at a snail's pace? When was the last time I called my parents and siblings? How many nights had my wife gone to bed, without me? What about that grass? Will it cut itself?

On top of that, it had come to my attention that this blog has a mission statement, under my name, that's not being followed. I hadn't looked at it that way before, that and, if not already, readers (not just writers) will visit this place. What do I have to offer them?

This is why I stepped out of the Blogosphere last month, to count my chickens, so to speak. With work, home improvement projects that never end (hard to do with no money) and recovering from chronic fatigue thrown in the mix, it makes my writing situation unpalatable. At the same time, to be a career writer, I have to write instead of fretting. So I took a break, took the boy to a local college baseball game, stayed off the computer on weekends, started on child #3's room, and made some tough choices: cut two of my three writing groups, cut posts to three times a week, and learned to say "no."

This month will be an experiment. I have a personal deadline to finish Undead Road before June, and I'd like to see how this new blogging regiment (and mission statement follow through) competes with my other obligations and responsibilities. In short, don't mind the mess.

To my friends and readers, you're more supportive, understanding, even forgiving, than I deserve. Without asking, I have over a month's worth of Blog Book Tour volunteers already. You have no idea how helpful that will be in the coming months. Repeatedly, I thank you.

New blogging schedule to be announced soon. Until then, keep being awesome, and you know something else? It's okay to get caught in the overflow, so long as you know when it's time to jump out.

So it was an excellent April if you came out with such realizations! Put your heart on your priorities, David, in such a way that you regret nothing and you give yourself time to enjoy your blessings. I send you my best!

Kudos to you for figuring out you needed to step back. It's hard sometimes to admit, and so hard to find that balance.I'd love to add my name to your list of blog tour volunteers! I love helping get the word out about books! :)

I can't do it all either. Currently, my writing is failing. Church responsibilities and family jobs and kids extra-curriculars are winning right now, and they probably should be, but I think if I could get my act together, I could develop my talents as well. I just need to figure out how...

It is all about balance, I think it gets hard for a writer to pull themselves from something that might help them get their writing out. At the same time it is life that drives our words and unless someone is writing a book about a blogger/reviewer then life doesn't really happen at the keyboard. Good luck if you need any help when your book comes out let me know.

It's very wise of you to see these things before they become the real sorts of problems they can be. I've had to cut back before, and it's really hard. Saying "No" is really, really hard. Good luck and I hope your experiment works.

Ah David, not that I'm sitting here "old and wise" by any means (well on the verge of old maybe) but I'm at a reflective time in life. My son is graduating COLLEGE next week and my daughter is entering her senior year of high school next year and all I can think of is how freakin' quickly it has gone. I have loved each stage of my kiddos' lives and am enjoying the heck out of what fine adults they are. But if I could show you my heart, it would tell you to give your little ones your love and attention first and foremost. The rest will be around all in God's good timing.

Hope you find the balance-- you know you are in good company in that quest.

Family first and foremost is a good path to follow. Balance can be so tricky we all suffer with it, I have read several IWSG posts today on that very subject. We all understand if people disappear from blogging for a while.

I think so many writers (and not just writers) can relate to this. So little time, and yet, so much to do and keep up with- even more so if you have a family. But as others have said, and as you know--family comes first. Sounds like you're getting that part right so keep it up and don't worry so much about the rest of it. Your readers will still be here and the other things will fall into place. And btw, congrats on the book deal!We often have a tendency to put too much on our plates and sometimes we just need to take a step back from it all. None of us are Superman no matter how hard we try to be. ;)

I was grateful to the AtoZ Blog Fest for giving me an excuse not to visit the blogs for a month. I figured, they were all so busy, nobody would miss me. I spent the month doing intensive editorial revisions for one book while gearing up for the release of a second one.

Now is a good time to get back into blog visits, because as the revisions wind down to just smoothing, editing, and polishing, I don't have much creative energy to tackle the next writing project yet.

I find that this stuff ebbs and wanes, but I do look forward to the end of the school year, when I can write full time as much as I want, and still have time for doing things OFF the computer.

Awesome that you were able to take that step back and prioritize like you needed to do. I'm with you - it's way too easy to get caught up in just doing, and not even realize that you're choking your own self to death!

Can so relate, David. We just got a puppy and my husband and daughter said one reason was to get me off the computer. I'm on the computer blogging a lot but not writing much. And I work full-time and have a family like you. So I'm re-evaluating a bit too. Don't feel bad about cutting back. Being here one or two days a week is enough if that's what you can handle.

Getting the balance right is a constant struggle. As long as you can identify what's most important and make the time for them, it makes the rest a little easier.I'm just coming to this conclusion and I'm working on a blog schedule of my own to help prioritise.

YA Paranormal Fantasy

Welcome to The Cosmic Laire, the official site of fantasy and science fiction author, David Powers King. David's works include WOVEN, THE UNDEAD ROAD, and FULL DARK: AN ANTHOLOGY. He currently resides in the Mountain West with his wife and 4 children. Click About to learn more.