Thursday, October 27, 2005

Happy October 27th

Just to clear some stuff up:

First, our resident yankee fan is getting restless for that last quiz answer, telling me that he feels that he has the answer right and that I should just move on to the next quiz. Terrible job. Much like the yanks of late, you're close. And I decide when the quizzes begin and end. These quizzes are supposed to be fun. This isn't a yankee blog.

And for BSM, who asked (about a thousand times more politely than yankee boy) about Doris Kearns Goodwin. When I said "NWA" I was just abbreviating "Northwest Airlines." The weird thing is that their planes actually say "NWA" on them now. Since she's on the board there, and NWA workers are on strike, they're trying to make their beef public, and one way is to go and yell at the one member of their board who does public speaking engagements. And recently she was accused of plagiarism, which I believe got her kicked off her spot on that PBS NewsHour show.

I'll try the logical route one last time before I start outright ignoring.

Nick, as an intelligent yankee fan, do you really get any pleasure from that? I totally understand the retarded ones saying that and actually think they're getting under our skin. But surely you know that the drought is over; the Red Sox have finally won the World Series. Do you think I'd hear you say that and think, "What? We won't win for another 86 years? Oh, shit! There go the next 86 years of my life, right down the drain! Theo, Larry, everybody, I've got some news that may interest you! Don't bother even playing! It's hopeless! Hopeless!!!"

(The irony being that even if you did have a crystal ball, we'd still support our team, and hey, we could still root for your team to lose.)

But is that it? You know that what your saying makes 0% sense (no exaggeration), so you figure you really are getting under our skin because of that?

If so, just know that you're failing in your mission. We have dealt with 86 years. And it's over now. There's nothing you can do to change it. Even if we go another 86 years without winning, we'll always have that moment--the one you people insisted we'd never have--where your boring team bowed down to us in their own stupid stadium, while the ghosts were distracted, I guess.

So do me a favor, if you want to make fun of us for "another 86 years," don't start until it actually happens. (Note that the chances of that are about as good as the yanks winning every year for the next 86. (It's a number so low you'd never see it from Mount Sterling.))

Make fun of us if you absolutely must. If you just don't have it in you to say, "Great job, Red Sox fans, we would've found a new team after 10 years without a championship, but you all stuck with them for your entire lives, and put up with dicks like us in the process. You deserve it," and you have to make fun of us, at least come up with something that makes sense.

Seriously, imagine you had a daughter who went blind ten years ago, and all your neighbors just gave you and her constant shit about it. "Your daughter can't see! Hasn't seen for TEN years. We see every year! Go back to where you came from. You'll always be a family of blind losers!" And then, miraculously, she regained sight, partly due to some huge error made by your neighbors. You're both totally happy and celebrating. And then, later that year, one of those same neighbors comes up to you and says, "Hey, where's that hammer I lent you? Oh, I know, you won't give it back for TEN years!" Would that affect you at all? You know, besides just allowing yourself to reaffirm that your neighbors are all dicks anyway?

Nick, come on- we get it, Yankee superiority, blah blah. No one's interested. Take a hike.

Also, I was lying yesterday when I said I didn't know anything about Doris- I read her Roosevelt book, I knew Mira Sorvino played her in "Quiz Show," and I knew she worked for LBJ. So why'd I say I knew nothing? No idea. TJ by me.

Peter/W, do you realize you've opened the door to any number of "Who said anything about a lady?"-style jokes?I guess we're just waiting to see who comes up with the best one at this point. Still, at this blog, anyone's allowed to do whatever they want behind closed doors.

I just got back from my weekend away and found you've all had a nice chat here. BSM-- I can usually tell when you're joking, I think, but when you said "In all seriousness," about Doris, I figured you were being serious, heh heh.

Nick, what's this "high round" you speak of? The 11th? 12th?

Thera, I was hoping you'd have said more, so I could say "Thera-ble job."

Anyway, this discussion seems over to me, but with five months til Opening Day, we have plenty of time for squabbling!