There are some words in the English language that convey profound meaning through their sheer ambiguity. Assclown is one of them.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Kentucky Spirit

Last weekend, I returned to Baltimore via Louisville International Airport aka Standiford Field. After clearing security, I spied a teen aged boy sporting an offensive, yet amusing t-shirt. I smirked and thought, "Wait and see how funny it is when they don't let you on the plane with that." We were both walking through the concourse in the same direction, when he joined a group that was presumably his family. I am fairly proficient at reading people and I could tell that they were hardcore Jesus-freaks at a glance. Yet, they all had on the same offensive shirt. So, of course, I asked the mother where she got them and learned that they came from an airport souvenir store. This may well have been the best $9.99 I ever spent:

Oh my! I guess if you judged them to be hardcore Jesus-freaks, then I imagine they are just as passionate about everything else, right? Of course, it is necessary to lubricate everyone else if you are a hardcore Jesus freak, eh?

Why o why do most of the personal lubricants on the market package their product in 4 oz. containers? That is one oz. over the airplane limit. Perhaps it is product manufacaturers sick sense of humor, just imagine trash cans filled with KY and "warming gel" in the security trash bins at the airport.

I hate to brand all Kentucky residents as KY t-shirt lovers. And somehow I don't feel right even looking at the shirt...it's like I'm invading the wearer's privacy. One's personal lubrication or love of state should be one's own business, eh?