The impossibly simple point of this post to to introduce a new series of things called "Things I Find in my Room" where I will post photos and maybe an explanation of things I randomly find in my room. Stay tuned for my first post soon!

14 April, 2012

Just now I texted a friend and told him that I think I'm getting sick, and my throat was closing and my head hurt.

Before I share the conversation let me preface this post with the fact that women don't complain because they want men to solve their problems.

-We are good enough at solving our own problems, thank you very much. We however, would just like the sympathy and understanding that, yes, you agree that was a bitchy thing for Susan to say to you, or being sick sucks, or every guy is stupid.

Me: I'm getting sick, either that or I'm tired and have a headache.

Friend: Are you looking for a solution or support?

Me: I just want to complain. As a woman I don't want you to fix my problems, I just want you to sympathize.

09 April, 2012

It creeps up on you and when it smashes you over the head, you come to a startling realization that this is your life.

You are living your life and this little thing, this person or this memory or this place, it makes you remember why you are here.

It makes you fall in love, and laugh and cry and feel things.

You feel everything all at once and you don’t hold back because why would you?

It’s the power of something so small, and it moves your whole body and thrums through your mind even when you are not awake.

It enriches your experiences and molds your way of thinking until you have a burst of joy that seems to last for miles. But that’s always how you feel.

You get torn down, ripped apart by others trying to hold you back, clawing at you to stay beneath the reach of happiness.

They have no regard for you or your feelings and sometimes it’s overwhelming. Sometimes it’s too much and all you want to do is give in and let them scrape you back down into the hole they came from.

You’ve been through so much, and nobody will ever experience it like you will. Nobody will ever know how you felt.

You didn’t give up.

You kicked and screamed your way from the grip of those wanting to hold you down and you broke out – free – and you climbed.

It’s getting better. It’s always getting better and the days that may not seem as such are days where it takes more effort to say NO! Say no to being pulled under and have your life taken out of your hands, lived by others.

But that’s not your life. Not today.

That feeling of happiness? That one that keeps you awake, that catches you smiling from the corners of your mouth stretching until the last thing on your mind is how other people view you.

The small instance, a memory, a person or thought that enters fleetingly, like a flicker of a candle, is enough to make you want to continue. To see more of it.

That’s what you get out of bed for. That’s what makes all this worth it. Don’t stop now.