Friday, November 29, 2013

Admission

Life is cyclical as the Book of Ecclesiates says - there is a season for everything, a season for sowing a season for reaping.

Lately I have been thinking of some of the things I did that hurt people, of course my ego tells me otherwise. I had a wise counselor who challenged me to apologize to someone I have hurt and probed me to see if I have done anyone some good. I took her words to heart and apologized to a customer whom I thoughtt I was rude to. If I have hurt anyone reading this message, I apologize to you.
Admitting wrong is difficult for me and most Americans. Somewhere we were bombarded with entitlement ideas, I suppose from the countless hours of watching the drivel on TV or from the environments we are exposed to every day.

Admission of guilt is difficult to do but it necessary to pull out the barbs that embed in our spirits, a release of the wrong we committed. This is not to be confused with religous guilt which is simply a mental programming. A more practical idea is to understand that actions and words, or taking no action had a negative impact on someone else's life. In other words, there were consequences of those actions. I also beleive that restitution is part of that equation, whether telling that person we did wrong or making financial restitution. -then the circle is completed otherwise brokenness lingers.

I will never forget the day that a customer screamed at me because I was late by a few minutes. Of course she had no idea what preceded this and for her that made no difference. She spewed hatred towards me. I had serviced her countless times before and always gave top service. One slip and I was disregarded as a human being and demoralized. Little did she know the personal tragedy I had encountered before and I would suspect she could have cared less.

She simply put her needs before mine and let me know how much more important she was than me. She decided to leave the barb of hatred deep into my being and by refusing to apologize, the barb remained. In church terms this is called iniquity. Inquity is simply the stain that is left behind following an infraction. It is done with intent and is evil - it is malicious. Apologies allow the stain to be cleaned up, pride stops that from happening.

I beleive in a type of Karma in which what you sow is what you reap. When you project entitlement then you will return darkness and emptiness - when you project gratuity, you receive more back. No person deserves more than another, there is no positon in life that people attain that makes them better except in their own mind. Humility is about being content in your situation and not lording over another person because their lot in life. There is no rule, to say where you are is better than the next or that you deserved what you received. This is simply a caste system which I think is dead wrong.

I remember a story told to me by gentleman who had a near death experience. He was a non -practicing Catholic and found himself sitting on the edge of a canyon viewing an ultra large TV screen of his life. He told me that he was able to feel the pain from the people he hurt, what that was like. I asked if he was judged for this in which he replied 'no'. He told me that it was his goal to become a nurse at 60 years old as he told me the only thing that was important was love. Just love and nothing more.