THIS is not the two- team race anyone envisioned, as the Giants and Eagles look as if they’re gearing for a Stupor Bowl. Let the sarcasm flow as these two underachievers head toward a collision course, with Sunday’s game perhaps determining not who’s better, but who’s worse.

What a reunion this will be: the misery-loves-company Game of the Weak, with the winner back even at a mediocre 3-3 and the loser at 2-4 and in sole possession of last place in the NFC East.

“It’s going to be like a starving lion, they throw the meat in the den and whoever wants it is going to get that meat,” linebacker Micheal Barrow said. “They’re starving for a win, we’re starving for a win.”

If the surprising Cowboys (4-1) are able to win in Detroit, whoever staggers out of Giants Stadium a loser this weekend is four games out of first place, counting tie-breakers, which is on the way to getting buried. We’ve seen how intense Giants-Eagles can be when these rivals clash; now we get to see how each side handles desperation.

“It may not be a battle for first place, but first place is not over with,” defensive end Michael Strahan said. “Trust me, we’re playing for the NFC East this week, no doubt about it.”

That sounds as if Strahan still firmly believes the Giants and Eagles will be 1-2 when the season gets late.

“I don’t know who else it’s going to be, but I believe it’s going to come down to us,” Strahan said. “That team’s struggling, we’re struggling. It’s going to be pretty important to go out there this week and play our best.”

As uninspired as the Giants have looked, for all the criticism they’ve garnered, for all the heat on Jim Fassel and a sluggish offense, it’s all kid stuff compared to the treatment the Eagles are receiving in the city of Brotherly Love. Donovan McNabb has been referred to as “horrible” and coach Andy Reid as “pathetic” in the local papers, and those are among the more flattering characterizations.

McNabb is the most inaccurate passer (49 percent completion rate) in the league and incredibly, none of his wide receivers have caught a single touchdown pass. The team that scored the second-most points in the NFC last year is clunking along with the 29th-rated passing offense. Following the latest debacle, a 23-21 loss at Dallas, McNabb revealed his severely sprained right thumb is hurting his performance.

“I can’t grip the ball the way I normally do,” McNabb confessed.

The injury led to a media uproar calling for the benching of McNabb in favor of, believe it or not, A.J. Feeley, if only for the sake of change while allowing McNabb’s thumb to heal. Reid, a near-zero in terms of public personality, says he’ll stick with McNabb, a decision that’s been used as an example of Reid’s stubbornness.

Oh, yes, Reid has also been blasted for bone-headed special-teams decisions and clock-management, which means he and Fassel have something else in common as they compare notes during Sunday morning’s pre-game chat.

Reid was burned when his opening-game gamble crapped out. He called for a risky onsides kick and the Cowboys’ Randal White scooped up the ball and ran 37 yards for a touchdown, the fastest score (three seconds) in league history. Near the end of the first half, Reid called for two pass plays that took virtually no time off the clock, allowing the Cowboys enough time to set up Billy Cundiff’s 51-yard field goal.

No, this is not a sequel to “Dumb and Dumber.” These two coaches and these two teams have appeared in the last three NFC Championship Games. Still, using this season as a guide, this encounter may not come down to who wants it most, but who screws up least.

BASEMENT BATTLE

NFC co-cellar dwellers Giants and Eagles play each other twice over the next five weeks with Big Blue facing slightly tougher schedule.