Daily Archives: June 12, 2007

And it walked over to where mittin was sleeping an gobbled her up ! oh no !

Mittins woke up in a strange land. Everybody was bright colours and it hurt mittins eyes. Also they had blue faces. It was smurfland. Mittins said “oh no ! the televison gobbled me up and now I am in televison land !” mittins ran and ran through lots of paddocks with big mushrooms.

“Hallo !” said a voice. “Who are you?”

“I am mittins.” said mittins.

“Hallo mittins. I am smurfette. I am so lonely. I am the only girl in the whole of smurfland. Will you be my freand?”

“I am busy” replied mittins. And mittins kept running through the paddock.Eventually mittins ran and ran until she reached gargamels.

“Gargamel !” yelled mittins. “It is me mittins ! open the door you old caboose !”

gargamel opened the door. “Who are you and why did you call me a caboose?” wallowed gargamel in self-loathing.

“I am mittins !” said mittins. “And I have seen you on tv you are always being naughty and trying to eat all of the smurfs up !”

“because I am so lonely is why” said gargamel. “Will you be my frienand?”

“No” said mittins. “I am busy.”Mittins took gargamels big cauldron and told gargamel to make her a cup of tea. Then mittins thought long and hard about what to put in the cauldron to help her get back to her house. What would work wondeared mittins.. then mittin realised !

Mittin killed all of the smurfs and put them in the cauldron, along with the mushrooms.

Everything went funny for a little while.

then a big roar came from the sky.

“Mittins !” cried the televison. “You have destroyed my televison show, the smurfs ! why did you do such a horribale thing !”

“because” mittins said, “I want to go home and be back in my bed ! you should not have gobbled me up ! you were naughty to do that !”

“but mittins” cried the televison, “you have killed all of the smurfs ! I cannot believe you have done such a thing ! its mass murder ! you have a black soul !”

“Its not true its not true !” Mittins ran and ran and ran until she stopped hearing the televison and her own thoughts. Then she went back to bed and never thought of the smurfs again.

one day upon a time, changler went to the cafe to get a coffee. but, when he got there there was no coffee beans left ! oh no ! he had to leave and go to a different cafe. but when he got there, there was ugly people in the cafe ! “oh my god !” changler said. “what is this race of aliens?” it was the race of uglies. and they came to find changler and his friends and d-e-s-t-r-o-y them all. they took changler into the restroom and put bees on his face. the bees ate away at his face until it was looking like a intricate piece of braile.

later that evening, at monicas apasrtment, phoeobe and joey was eating a pizza. the pizza was special, made of babies, to make them pretty and youthfful. also, joey was laugfing and pheone was playing a gatar. monica was cleaning. hahaha ! those friends.

the doorbell rang and it changler. :O oh dear god ! he was U-G-L-Y ! monica squaled in fright ! but it was too late. changler belong to the race of uglies now. he took monica and cut her nose off ! then he covered her face in sticky hot tar and cooked an egg on it.

joey ran for the door. but changler had a bag of old fat. it was a bag so big, like it came from a factory. he threw it on joey and all the fat congealed onto joey until he couldnt run anymore ! he was stuck inside of it ! like a big pound of butter.

the only way for joey to escape was to eat his way out of the fat. joey did it. but now joey was too fat inside and he died of a haat attack !

pheoebe ran out of the window and looked down at the street below. it was too far to jump. but she didnt want to be ugly. so she cried a bit. suddenly she turned around and there was monica ! she was a race of the uglies too now. pheoebe said “monica you are ugly !” and then monica hit her with a block of wood.

later that evening racherl came home from bloomingdales. what a day ! she felt like she was the most pretty of them all, even though she had not eaten any babies for a day or two. she fixed herself a long isaldn iced tea and mused over the days events.

Hello Friands !

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tina yothers being your best, a guide for girls.
if you do come across this rarity, do yourself a favour and pick up this treasure. with numerous tips for good living, responsible solutions to moral dilemmas, and an exercise plan to help you shape up for summer, tina yothers has crafted an exquisite work of warmth and generosity. it changed my life, and it could change yours.