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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

For F**k's Sake

I'm trying to read, and my roommate comes home and starts watching today's episode of Dawson's Creek -- that she TiVo'd, mind you -- as if there is NOTHING else to do. Television has its days, but sometimes I think it should just be switched off and let the chips fall where they may. Think of how there wouldn't be televised wrestling.

8 Comments:

I agree, my roommate watches network television and professional football obsessively and even the muffled white noise from it makes me feel stupider. Thank god we don't have the WB, as the only show worth watching is Summerland, and only while drunk enough to imagine that there is a Summerland gestapo that checks racial IDs on the beach. I say Summerland's an exception because I find the show so outrageous that it's easy to remain divorced from it--like a certain band "Ryanhood" that's playing in town this Friday--it's so obviously bad, I get a kick out of watching them. Does that make me a bad person? The answer is: I don't care.

All the poor woman wants to do is escape her troubles by watching a TV show with hardly any "local people" in the cast, and you get pissy. You could have retired to the downstairs drawing room, or your own spacious bedchamber, and continued reading whatever pretentious-sounding tome you've become engrossed in. Your unfortunate roommate could only watch TV in the living room. I don't see how she puts up with you.

To address everyone's concerns one at a time: the WB is where fun goes to die. And even if Dawson's Creek never had any prominent people of color, they did have a stirring quarter-season plotline in which the black principle of the high school gets canned and a young Katie Holmes tries to rally people to get him reinstated to no avail. That was the most artful way the writers could think of to get out of what I can only assume was an inconvenient yearlong contract.

Listen you, I wasn't going to out you but now you've angered me. I know you have watched more than a few episodes of Dawson's Creek by yourself. And Gilmore Girls is a good show, damnit. It is fun--fun is not dead! Even One Tree Hill can pull out surprisingly shocking endings that seem to make up for the other 45 minutes of less-than-entertaining television. Everwood can be boring. 7th Heaven is a dying horse that someone should have shot long ago. Still, the WB has been a source of many good times for me and I resent your pseudo-intellectual, "I'm too good to watch the Creek" ranting. Enough! Or I spill more embarrassing secrets.

Since turnabout is fair play, I feel I should in turn reveal that Stephanie has been with me for seven years despite the following: I fail to shower often enough, I spent the four months after graduation drinking and gambling, I frequently go to Las Vegas and other fun destinations without her, I've only read a handful of the books she's bought me, I haven't written her any sweet love letters in a long time, I obnoxiously brag about my interesting career, I talk about writing novels but never do it, I'm home alone at 9:00 on a Saturday night, I once watched "The Craft" seven times in three weeks, including the director's commentary, I only own one suit and I bought it on the internet, I haven't lifted weights in months, I sleep on an air mattress with stuffed animals, I once had a mystery disease on my private parts, most of my wardrobe consists of hand-me-downs from a friend in middle school, the longest post on my blog is about war criminals, I occasionally make fun of foreigners and I used to watch Dawson's Creek with my roommate.