Rachel Lucas...

Are we still going to women for advice on how to be men, people? Well, I guess some of them like Manginas, so, have at it. Me, I'll stay content to grab them by the back of the hair, push them up against the kitchen counter, knock their legs apart, rip off their panties, fuck them firm and hard until they scream the name of their Savior, wipe off on a dish towel, and have them make me a sandwich.

If your pussy didn't just twitch a bit, well, hope that whole 'being a lesbian' thing works out for ya.

And dudes, if you are trolling for tail on the internet, you already have more problems than I can help you with. I have more respect for a woman who hangs out under a lamppost, than I do for for all these Rent A Broad bitches. And if this hurts any of you broad's feelings, there's nothing I can do to help you with that.If you haven't ever wanted to put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger just to stop hearing an E-Harmony ad, you, too are beyond help.

I realize that not everyone can be a handsome alpha male like me, but for gosh sakes, have some damn self respect. Want some pussy? Ask for it. Make the sale. Want a relationship? Make one. Fuck, this isn't hard. Women are needy, by design. They just might not need you. Deal. Move on. Don't be that booger she can't get off her finger.

And women love to, to one degree or another, be needed. Make sure it is genuine, and do it. Appreciate them. If you can't do that, move on.

And guys, never forget that there are alpha females out there, who will chew you up and shit you out, I shit you not. If you can't take the heat, stay out of the snatch.

Like I always say, if you want a maid or a cook, hire one. If you want a Momma, go visit yours. Take flowers. She'll appreciate it. Don't fuck her, weirdo. Ditto, sisters.

A true male/female friendship is probably the hardest relationship there is to maintain. And ladies and gentlemen, if your female or male significant other has an opposite sex 'friend', sooner or later they're gonna fuck. I think that's in the Bible or something. Maybe on one of the stone tablets God dropped, or maybe that stuttering fuck Moses dropped.

Final tip for the day: If their parents (either or both, but especially the Mom) is crazy, well, just look out. Is all I'm saying.