The 2013 Emmy Awards: So This Is What a Death-Themed Award Show Looks Like

First, our apologies: we may have hyped this year’s Emmy Awards as a lighter Sunday-night-programming alternative to Breaking Bad. Aside from the trophies, and the odd sexual-innuendo-tinged acceptance speech from Michael Douglas, however, the vibe inside the Nokia Theater’s Emmydome was not that upbeat. (To quote Patton Oswalt: “That was one soul-crushing slab of televised darkness. Over on cable, however, @BreakingBad_AMC was amazing.”) How could it be, with the steady stream of in-memoriam segments that stopped just long enough for a series of less relevant downers including, but not limited to, a Beatles cover performed by Carrie Underwood, a U.S.-history lesson from Don Cheadle, and a tribute to Liberace by Elton John? It was all so torturous that when Bob Newhart interrupted the downcast proceeding, we don’t even remember what for, Al Pacino—looking as though he had just roused himself from a two-hour slumber—led the audience in a standing ovation, as if to say, “Yay for the living!”

But somewhere in all of that Emmy muckety-muck, there were some genuinely brilliant surprises. The first being Merritt Wever’svery deserved, but very unexpected, win in the supporting-actress-in-a-comedy category for her work on Nurse Jackie. Up against Modern Familyfavorites Sofía Vergara and Julie Bowen, the young actress was so shocked by the win that all she could mutter at the podium was, “Thanks so much. I gotta go, bye.” A close second in the awesome-acceptance-speech department came from Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who collected her comedic-actress Emmy with Veepco-star (and supporting comedic-actor winner) Tony Hale in tow. Assuming the role of Gary, Louis-Dreyfus’s aide on the HBO series, Hale stood behind her while she accepted her Emmy to hold her bag (a recurring Veep joke) and remind her to thank her family.
Joining Wever with their own surprise wins were Jeff Daniels in the dramatic-actor category (where he was up against such heavy-hitting nominees as Mad Men’sJon Hamm,Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston, andHomeland’s Damian Lewis) and Boardwalk Empire’s Bobby Cannavale in the dramatic-supporting-actor race (which featuredBreaking Bad’s Aaron Paul,Homeland’s Mandy Patinkin, and Game of Thrones’ Peter Dinklage). Like last year, Modern Family won the best-comedy-series title, and Claire Danes took the best-dramatic-actress award forHomeland. In groundbreaking developments, Netflix secured its first Emmy, for direction of a drama series, which went toDavid Fincher for House of Cards. Michael Douglas predictably took the best-actor-in-a-miniseries-or-movie trophy for his portrayal of Liberace in HBO’s Behind the Candelabra. Explaining that he wanted to split his award with co-star Matt Damon,who played Liberace’s real-life lover Scott Thorson, Douglas joked, “Matt, you really deserve half of this. So do you want the bottom or the top?”

Breaking Bad won two awards—supporting actress in a drama series for Anna Gunn and the top drama title at the end of the night. Sadly for Game of Thronesfans, this meant that neither Emilia Clarkenor the fantasy show won in their nominated categories. Similarly defeated wasMad Men, which unfathomably failed to clinch a single award tonight. While on the subject of injustices, it seems unfair to tease Emmy viewers with several minutes’ worth of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler—who appeared early in the telecast to heckle host Neil Patrick Harris—only to leave us with three relentlessly depressing hours of programming.

Meanwhile, it bears noting that Neil Patrick Harris—a consummate pro—expertly M.C.’d the proceedings, brightening them up wherever he could. Unfortunately for him, Emmy producers had a somewhat dour agenda for the evening, which left this viewer, at least, feeling like one of the night’s biggest losers.