Sunday, February 2, 2014

Why hello there!

Oh hello! Fancy meeting you here! No, I didn't die, although it seems my blog might be on the verge of visiting the here-after. I'm mainly posting tonight because I have a paper due on Thursday and major writers block. Lots going on in my head and I can't focus on my paper at all. I figured if I can't be productive there, maybe I can be productive here! I've been having the urge to post something lately so why not now when I'm in the middle of procrastinating! Oh, that reminds me! I couldn't resist this Procrastinate Now sign in the store this weekend.

Can you see it, just above the mirror?

Fun, right? It's perfect for me! Oh, and don't mind the candy canes in the bowl. Not pictured is my Christmas tree stand in the box over by the couch. Did I mention that I am a master procrastinator? I am!

So, shall we catch up? Thank goodness kids are like weeds and grow even when you aren't looking. Not that I'm not looking. In fact, lately I think my mom-status has grown exponentially. It's amazing what you can do when you are happy! I know this sounds terrible, but last year at this time I was just trying to survive day by day, barely "living" and only just "surviving." It wasn't their fault of course, but they certainly had to deal with it. I know they loved me then, and accepted me for all my faults and lackingness (I enjoy creating new words), but now I can honestly say, without my fingers crossed behind my back, that I'm a GOOD mom! I know most mom's might not understand, and for that you should be very VERY thankful, but I wasn't the mom I should have been. But now I am. Now I can be!

In case you have forgotten, last year at this time my life was on the cusp of falling off a cliff. And fall off the cliff I did! Thankfully, beyond the rocky bottom was a trampoline and I bounded up past the old cliff and landed on a new cliff that has loftier views and much more fresh air! Oh the fresh air!! I'm down a husband and up a happy life! I don't want to rag on the ex too much though. For as awful as our relationship was, and as awful as this divorce process has been, I have to admit that I couldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for that time in my life. And, most importantly, I have two awesomely beautiful, wonderful, amazing, fantastic kids because of it. So despite all the sadness and stress and anguish and heartbreak, I can't say that I regret it. This whole thing has given me an amazing appreciation for the life I have now. It's not easy, I'm still struggling to make ends meet and balance kids and work and school and my boyfriend life! Oops, did that slip out? Yeah, it's really weird to say that I have a boyfriend. It makes me feel like I'm 16 again. But he definitely has made this whole process much easier! I don't know how I would have survived without him. He's been my escape when I needed it and an ear whenever I needed it (I've needed it a lot!). I don't feel like this is the right platform to go on and on about him, but I'll quickly say that he allows me to be myself, he appreciates who I am and the struggles I'm enduring, and knowing that he supports me and my dreams and endures my craziness rather well, well he's just what I need. I think I'd better stop there, otherwise that part where I said "quickly" will be more like "10 pages later."

So yeah, I'm happy with things right now. We're in a little apartment right now but I'm signing a lease on a house in a couple of weeks and I think it will be a great move for us. Right now we have two bedrooms for the three of us, no tub, no washer or dryer, we live on the second floor with an elderly couple below us that likes to go to sleep early and complain about the jumping and noise from above. The house will be all ours, no need to worry about the kids jumping around and being KIDS! We'll have a tub and a washer and dryer! We'll have our own washer and dryer! Did I mention we'll have our own washer and dryer?! No more trips to the laundromat! Actually, the laundromat isn't as awful as I expected it to be. I kind of like that I can do all my loads at once and be done with it. What I don't like is shelling out the god-awful amount of quarters each week! Renting the house is more expensive but the money I'll save on the laundromat alone will make it a cheaper option! Crazy! And have you ever tried to give a four year old a shower in a shower stall that is too small for you to lift your arms up to shampoo your hair (this is not an exaggeration)? I'm not a big person, I take up very little room, and yet I cannot wash my hair without hitting my elbows on the walls. So I can't get in the shower with Babe, I have to stand outside of it with the detachable shower head and hose her down like she just got done playing in the pool. Have you ever tried to wash a four year old's hair with one hand while you hold the shower head in the other? I can't let the shower head go because it spins all crazy and will get water everywhere. I also can't give Babe the shower head because SHE spins all crazy and will get water everywhere. Shower-time is a very interesting part of the night! Thankfully Bud is old enough to shower himself so I only have to be there to hand him his washcloth and make sure he doesn't stay in so long that his entire body turns into a prune. I'm really looking forward to a tub! And did I mention that there'll be a washer and dryer in the house? Because there will be and I may be a little excited about it.

In other good news, I got another promotion a few months ago! That makes two promotions in four months! Yay me! It means a butt-load more responsibility but I say bring it on! I've been in the office for 7 years and I'm so very ready for more responsibility! I got the second promotion at the expense of my very dear friend leaving, and that makes me very sad, but I am happy for the opportunity to keep growing. It fits in well with my determination to grow personally. So adding in "growing professionally" just makes sense!

Ok, I think this is it for now. I don't want to go overboard on my first post back. (Am I back? I don't know. Please don't hold me to anything.)

I'll leave you with a few pictures from this weekend. Visiting my parents is always a good time and this weekend was no exception!

A great day for a fire-side tea party!

Mom! Mom! Did you get the fire in the picture?! Make sure you get the fire!

Last time we ate Dinosaur BBQ Bud told me "I'm your little carnivore!" This is an accurate description! He enjoys himself some ribs!!

4 comments:

What an amazing, amazing post to read!!! I am so happy for you; I can't even explain it. I thought about emailing you a few times over the past few months, but figured you'd check in when it felt right. Again, I'm so, so happy to hear this. And WTH? Is Bud a teenager now??!!

YAYAYAYAYAY! This post makes me so happy! Welcome back. And feel free to go on some more about your boyfriend (I'm nosy!!). But you don't have to mention your washer and dryer again, because I think I can tell you're excited!