funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

More like hardly working

Mara in Minneapolis ( average temperature in January: 12° F/-11° C) says the worst job she’s ever had was at a local thrift store — and not because of the crazy customers and their indiscreet use of the fitting rooms. No, like many workers, the crazy person driving Mara crazy was her boss — the author of the masterpiece below.

Mara says she lasted three weeks before her boss made her so angry that she walked out and never looked back. (No, not even to leave a little surprise behind in the bath—er, fitting room. That’s management-level thinking, folks.)

“I am the Heat Miser. If you don’t like the temperature, I will be the Wardrobe Nazi as well. I will not set the thermostat to turn the heat up an hour before my serfs arrive. Their work will generate the requisite heat for their survival. Now, back to my office where my space heater awaits me!”

ThermostatS?? This must be a huge thrift store to require more than one AC/heating unit. The manager clearly has a relative in the heating and cooling business. It was her blatant nepotism that caused the financial set-back wherein there was no money left to use the units.

grim could i borrow that for just a minute?*takes jacket, folds neatly and lays it on the floor. pulls lighter out of pocket and sets jacket on fire*
ooohh, finally, heat! now i can warm up. thanks sweetie.
oh, somebody hand me WP’s unithong. and that filthy unitard. don’t want the fire to burn out.

WHAT? No unithong, unitard, uniPuma? So now we are defenseless against the FuDel menace . . . good thing I’ve still got my Oral-B in my pocket — or maybe I’m just glad to see you.
[Rimshot... Thanks, I'll be here until Thursday.]

“That’s why I’m a manger. Because I don’t do actual work, so I have plenty of time to make stupid signs for stupid rules. Now…have we discussed your requisite flair on the sweatshirt? Or the need to obnoxiously greet all incoming customers?”

Too bad Mara quit so soon . . . she missed the next “concept” from the manager . . .

NO ONE IS TO TOUCH THE LIGHT SWITCH.
It is always dark in the morning so wear a miner’s helmet, when it brightens up from the sun and my incandescent ego and I hope because your chattering teeth emit sparks, take it off. What a great concept. I couldn’t get hired at Taco Bell that’s why mom made me the manager here.

Umm…you are the manager, if it is always cold in the morning it is your bloody job to touch the thermostat!
Set the darned thing so it is warm when we come in to work and it lowers the heat after hours! What a great concept. (That’s why they invented thermostats!)

#28–I’m kinda slow…was there a point there? I’m sure you are “inteligent”, but I’m not and do not know what that word means! This is all so useless. Maybe because we are all trying to use the same mind at once.

This is the first time I’ve been on this site since I moved and the topic is thermostats!The first thing I was told when I walked into my new store was”If you turn off the heat at night the pipes wont thaw until spring.Send little Miss nasty pants up here and see how long she lasts.

This has happened to me in the past, too. I didn’t last any longer than Mara did – I just stopped showing up for work and didn’t even bother to collect my last measly paycheque – and with these kinds of cretins it’s not the thermostat issue that makes you quit, it’s something else even more sociopathic. Anyone who can and does write this kind of note to the employees has some pretty serious problems and is invariably impossible to work with.

All the employees should spend 8am to 10am wearing olive drab eskimo parkas, with the hood pulled up into a little periscope-like tube, bumping into displays, customers, and generally looking like the place has been taken over by animated pipes.

Then, during morning break, everybody squeezes into the changnig room, removes the winter-wear, and returns to work in a outfit from M*A*S*H; thin tanktop, baggy undershorts and green socks pulled way up high like Frank Burns.

This solves nothing, but the sight of viewing female coworkers stripping out of parkas to reveal Army underwear is simply…
…thought-provoking!

Alright, STOP. Just shut up and LISTEN
Cuz I’m came back with a brand new INVENTION -
Because I set the temperature NIGHTLY
Don’t touch it in the morning – Don’t even try me –
Will you ever learn? Yo, I don’t know –
Turn off the lights – And keep the temps low.

To the extreme I’ll blow my top like a teapot
If I come in here – And I think that it’s too hot.

Ice ice baby (x2)

COLD that’s how I like these rooms
I’m killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
DEADLY when I write a note dontcha see?
You better get a sweater cuz I’m about to get busy –
Love it or leave it you better gain weight
It’s gonna get cold now – the kid don’t play

If there was a problem yo I’ll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice ice baby (x2)

Now that the party is JUMPIN’
With puma jackets and unitards PUMPIN’
Quick to the point to the point no faking
I’m cookin’ in this sweater like a pound of bacon
Burning up, if you be quick and nimble –
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal

ROLLIN’ at a cool 50
And the fan is on so my hair can BLOW
The customers are freezing, now they’re all leaving
Did you stop? No. I gotta funny feeling
KEPT ON pursuing – I’m the BOSS here
Even when I LOST the feeling in my left ear
My toes were dead Yo so I continued to:
…..

This shit is LONG yo. You get the idea….and, actually, it’s a LOT more complicated that MC Hammer…I didn’t have to change much tho…

I am amazed that Mara was able to get a picture of that note before someone defaced it. You can’t just leave a note like that alone. I’d draw penises on it, in pink pen if there was a pink pen available.

Intern: Holy shit, it’s cold in here!
Sandy*, ancient secretary: Allen*! This a law office — a professional place of business. We do not use profanity in this office. What if a client had been waiting in reception and heard you use that kind of language? In the future I would ask that you refrain from using that kind of language. I’m sure the partners would not appreciate you speaking that way to your coworkers, especially those who are older than you.
Partner, entering five minutes later: Jesus-fucking-Christ, it’s cold in here! Goddamn, Larry* — cheapskate son of a bitch won’t turn the heat on until nine. Sandy, get me Larry’s number so I can give that asshole a piece of my mind. Fucking dick. Every goddamn winter he pulls this shit. And Sandy, make some coffee for these interns — it’s like 40 degrees in here!

hmmm is this why thrift stores are ALWAYS cold? I thought the whole “thrift” thing was regarding their prices and what not, not their buisness management. Also ummm what are you supposed to be DOING to work hard enough to warm up at a thrift store? Running a register and what not doesn’t exactly make me work up a sweat.

Now for story time:
There is a store here in my town where the owner is such a greedy cheap bastard that he doesn’t heat it in the winter. At ALL. BTW This is in southern WISCONSIN. Then the numbnuts wonders why his sales fall in the winter. Ever think that CUSTOMERS might like to be warm? Or are THEY supposed to be working hard to warm up?

* “lazy ass customers. If they were working harder, hard enough to keep warm in my store then they wouldn’t HAVE to shop a the thrift store!” Says evil thrift store manager while twirling mustache and turning down thermostat

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"When fridge thieves die, they join a circle of hell where, in the grandest Sisyphean style, they do a long day's work , get hungry as hell, go to grab their food, and it's gone! On some, especially hellish days, their food will be there, but someone will take it out of their hands right as they are about to take the first bite."