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What's this blasphemy?

For seven years, I've been testing sex toys and reviewing them on the internet. Many readers entrust their orgasms to me, and I do not take that honor lightly. My reviews are snarky, honest, and delightfully void of euphemisms. . . . read more

Pornfail

Pornfail

Have you been jonesing for a deep look into the female psyche? Then What Girls Like is the porno for you! Seriously, it’s uncanny how much this film understands womankind. Case in point: the painting scene. I have learned much from this scene, like that paint fumes are an aphrodisiac. And that girls like getting . . .

Girls. I have a serious matter to discuss with you. That rubber thing you are tonguing and eating? It doesn’t look sanitary. In fact, I’m willing to bet it’s been fondled by every cast member, make-up person, and cameraman on set — presumably in an impromptu game of hot potato butt plug. Wait, what are . . .

This one comes to us from the thoughtfully-titled Pound the Round 2. If you have sensitive teeth, click away now. STEPS FOR GETTING A GIRL’S MOUTH AND POPSICLE ON YOUR PENIS 1. Randomly whip out your popsicle, calling it an “ice cream” — that was on purpose — and immediately take things too far by . . .