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And Now The News Headlines

Rumours surface that Niigaki Risa is wanted by the police for grooming an underage girl…

Fans are worried that Mano Erina may have money troubles…

Ai-chan reacts to the news that Mitsui Aika thinks her first photobook will be sexy…

Morningtime’s Christmas charity message warning people of the foolishness of giving dogs as presents is criticised by animal rights activists…

“Dogs aren’t that ugly and annoying” said a spokesman for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. However the RSPCML (the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Music Lovers) have come forward to request the use of the photo for their charity.

Michishige Sayumi is accused of taking her bitchy persona a step too far…

“Give me my lunch back” says upset child.

New Japanese campaign to get more people using gyms is proclaimed a turtle success…

Oh sorry that should read “total success”. >.>

Following the release of her first photobook Kanna Arihara salutes her former record company…

Critics claim Hello! Project members aren’t being paid enough…

“First Mano Erina is caught in a compensated dating scandal and now this” said one fanclub member who didn’t wish to be named. He then continued “I think it’s demeaning that a talented young idol should have to be subjected to such unsavoury demands. It’s nothing short of abuse really. The frankly immoral and disgusting things a poor young idol is subjected to in that sort of establishment is heartbreaking. I could almost cry. I mean at least Mano only had to sleep with someone. Poor Ai-chan and Nacky!”

The recession is blamed for Hello! Project cost cutting…

“We can barely afford the money for pv’s anymore let alone petrol” said a spokesman.

Following her move into the compensated dating market Mano Erina cards go up in phoneboxes across Tokyo…

“Ring Mano to arrange some hot tongue action. You’ll love a piece of her paradise. Say hello to her kitty and get ready to feel a lucky aura. Mano will tinkle your ivories for a very reasonable price. Don’t wait until tomorrow, have Mano perform on your piano today”.

Morningtime is sacked from his job designing Hello! Project front covers following this abandoned cover…

The true face of Maeda Yuuka is revealed according to a H!P insider…

She’s actually a 19th century cockney street urchin vampire who stays young on the blood of idols” said the Hello! Project insider who didn’t wish to be named. The insider (who we’ll name as Saho Akari anyway) continued “she doesn’t deserve to be in S/mileage. She should be staked through the heart and replaced by me…err I mean by a suitable replacement. And don’t get me started on Wada Ayaka and Fukuda Kanon. Mind you that jammy bitch Ogawa Saki is the worst”.

Hello! Project’s new production “Peter Pai meets Little Red Riding Hoodie” is acclaimed a great success…

The Mano pics interest me as well, though in my heart of hearts I think Mano has a strange fascination with buttocks. I have no clue where it originated but I find the idea of her running up and squeezing the bums of random strangers while yelling “BUTTOCKS!!!” to be highly amusing and disturbing in equal measure. It just seems like something she would do. Yeah, I’m not right in the head. lol