Marriage: Teaching Your Kids God's Design For Family

The statistics on divorce have remained constant- 50% of marriages, no matter whether they are Christian or not, still end in divorce. Numerous children have witnessed the pain involved when parents separate, and have grappled with their own feelings as well. It is no wonder that many of them would prefer not to be married, but to cohabitate with another person. Or, chose to remain single. The guise is often one of, “we don’t need a piece of paper to prove our commitment to one another”, but cohabitation is more deadly because realistically if things don’t work out, leaving is far easier.

What many adults don’t realize is that this “little piece of paper” makes a huge difference, spiritually. We are confessing with our mouths to cherish the other person, and to treat them in a godly fashion. There is a special tie to someone that you are married to, since scripture tells us the “two become one flesh”. When one flesh separates, yes, there is going to be more pain. Not only are you having to remove soul ties, which happens during the intimacy of sex, but also that special “oneness” that God creates solely for marriage. And these are just a few of the reasons that we should strive to be married over living together.

With cohabitation, you can say you have commitment, however, if you are committed to each other, than why hesitate to get married? If the “little piece of paper” is no big deal, then why hesitate in the formal ceremony of marriage? The fact of the matter is that the marriage license and ceremony are a bigger deal than we want to admit. When people live together, there is always an easier out when splitting because the out existed before the couple even decided to cohabitate in the first place. Most people enter into cohabitation with an unspoken understanding not that they are in this forever (as in marriage), but that if, for whatever reason it doesn’t work out, you can leave. In essence, most people end up resting on the fact that it simply didn’t work out, and “phew”, glad we didn’t get married!

In our May issue, Helen Murray discusses how to teach your children the importance of getting married over cohabitation, and will dissolve the myths that surround the allure of living together. She will also talk about the natural and scriptural reasons why cohabitation is wrong in God’s eyes- aside from the fact that it was God who ordained marriage in the first place. She will also incorporate why God’s design only included marriage in the first place.

In short, she will discuss the “whys” of marriage, and help you to give your children a better understanding of why cohabitation often does not lead to happiness.