My Life is in Your Hands, Carry On

The inspiration for this blog post is rooted in the following song written and recorded by Sandi Patty. Here are the words to the song:“Holy Lord/Carry On ”
Holy Lord, You are the life in me,
Your love is all I need,
Forever, holy Lord,
You are the life in me,
Your love is all I need,
You are my God and King.
You are forever holy.

God of boundless universe,
Lord who shaped me from my birth,
You are there, You are there.
In the glory of the stars,
The vast cathedral of my heart,
You are there, You are there.
I’m never left on my own,
Carried in the arms of Your pow’r, I go on
‘til the night becomes the dawn.

God who rules the sky and sea,
Calms the storms that rage in me,
Carry on, carry on.
Lord of heaven, Lord of earth,
Lord who gives me sense of worth,
Carry on, carry on.
No greater king ever known,
Passion was the crimson and stain of Your robe.
And I will bow before Your throne.

My spiritual journey:
This song came to me via a music video on TV one night while I was agonizing over the pain in my lower left leg during March 2013. I was doing very well from my SI Surgery but the more walking I did my lower leg/ankle would still hurt. I heard the above song and immediately wanted to get the music for it and then came to find out it was written in 1994. Somehow I missed this song along the way as Sandy Patti had always been a favorite song artist of mine through out the last 30 years.

I continued my bi-weekly trips to Spokane for follow up appointments with my team of doctors and of course while traveling I practiced this song for over a month before I grasped the full meaning of why my spirit hungered to sing this song. As it turned out, I was in the pre-surgical workup stage of what was to become my next surgery on my Proximal Tibiofibular Joint. My primary doctors sent me to a local knee surgeon who rejected any idea of helping me surgically to fix my chronic Proximal Tibiofibular Joint. Needless to say I was extremely distraught and I had to deal with these words of the song in my heart “Calms the storms that rage in me”. I had terrible anxiety and anger at the thought of not really being heard and feeling abandoned in my pain. Yet the Lord was working out His plan in advance and I had to go by the still small voice within to follow the leading of His plan. I had already done 3 out of state surgeries and I really did not want to leave home again for another surgery that is why I tried so hard to have a local surgeon help me but to no avail. The additional financial cost of traveling out of state for surgery had been taking its toll on our family budget. Yet day by day as my husband inquired of the Lord, the Lord assured him all the extra work He was providing was for a season. He has blessed our business tremendously and He is providing the extra to cover these expenses. And during this time, He also granted me such great mercy in winning my third level appeals with my insurance company on my prior SI Surgery that I had to pay for up front to get it done when I did in Jan. 2013. Hallelujah!!! The stress of hocking my paid in full truck to finance that surgery was now over and I was freed up to get my leg fixed.

“Carried in the arms of Your pow’r, I go on” are the words of the song that manifested in me going to Macon, Missouri for my Proximal Tibiofibular Surgery. The surgery did take place on 5/14/13 with a kind and compassionate surgeon there in Missouri. While I was suffering in pain after the surgery, these words: ” No greater king ever known,Passion was the crimson and stain of Your robe. And I will bow before Your throne” were ringing over and over in my heart. I was elated at how well I was treated by the out of state doctor and the medical center where the surgery was performed. Yet, I cried out to the Lord in my pain feeling like it was too much to bear. This was the worst post-operative pain I’ve ever felt compared to all my prior 7 surgeries. The Lord promised us in His Word that His grace is sufficient for whatever circumstance that we find ourselves in. Well I was utterly at His mercy for pain relief and He did come through for me. I’d rather rely on His grace than too much of the narcotics which for me adds insult to injury. A few hours of disconnect from the pain with a narcotic pill is not worth the side effects on the rest of my body beyond the 2 days after surgery. Day 3 and thereafter was cold turkey on the narcotics and then back to my natural healing products.

I was in the hotel recovering with tremendous anxiety over the tornado watches that were given for our area of Missouri at the time when the massive tornado wiped out a suburb of Oklahoma City. Despite the massive devastation and loss of life, our God is still on the throne and we may not have the answers right now as to why this has happened. However, He says to continually seek Him and set our hearts/minds on that which is eternal and not temporary in this earthly life. My prayers go out to all the people that were affected by the storms.

“Your love is life to me,
You are my destiny,
Carry on, carry on.”

Ally’s Graduation

I continued meditating on the above words of the song and I practiced it when I returned home from the medical trip with a new found joy and appreciation for living in the mountains after leaving the flat lands/tornado alley of Missouri. By then my dear daughter had asked me to sing for her graduation ceremony and this song was appropriate for her too. This song was written in the year that the Lord was forming her in my womb. Little did I know that 18 years later He would want this sung for her. The Lord showed me that I was to encourage and exhort her to continue on in life after graduation keeping this song in mind for her life to go well. Her father and I, along with the Christian school she had attended for 13 years, gave her our blessings at her graduation. We were all so proud of her accomplishments thus far in life. May she be a blessing to all who cross her path in the years to come.

Believe me when I tell you, the night before this graduation was the worst night of nerve type pain of any of the days prior. I could not take any medications because they would all affect my voice the next day. So I was up all night suffering just to present this song with some kind of normal voice. Here is a partial video of me singing the song while sitting in the chair in a Non-weight bearing status at 2 1/2 weeks past my surgery. It was a Heavenly moment ( I felt the angelic choirs of heaven joining in). All in attendance enjoyed the song.
To the internet world my pro-active faith continues on! May all readers be blessed with Christ’s love!

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My Spiritual Mission

It is my desire to encourage anyone reading this site to seek the Great Physician, the one and only God Almighty, through His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. For all knowledge and wisdom come through the Holy Spirit from God and by His Word, the Holy Bible, to teach and guide us into truth. Without prayer and weeping before Him many times during my medical journey, I would not now be creating a website to share information with others. As God comforts us in our affliction, we learn to comfort others in their affliction.

There is no intent to offend any other religious beliefs in my writing. However, I am not ashamed of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. My life is hidden in Him, and I write from that firm foundation.

Kim and Captain Dean

Captain Dean's retirement from sailing career Nov 1998 - before move to Idaho

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL.

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