you are absolutely correct - there is an inherent danger in over-analyzing the past and there is no one answer to this, but knowing that others out there have found a way (such as yourself) and something 'as simple' as having someone else tell you that "hey, I found a solution that works for me", gives at least a glimpse of hope, no?

I appreciate your replies and am myself working on doing just [that] - putting [it] away somewhere; I just don't want it to keep simmering to the surface and influence my life overall and thus I suppose that I was hoping to view [the traumas] as objectively as possible, before putting them aside for good

for now we'll see; digging into this has had me writing several documents of text, never meant for anyone but me to read - drafts for what I have written here, thus far - if you will

it has shed a whole lot [of] light on the situations and this is why I try to post 'only the relevant findings with regards to the diagnosis' and I do feel that it does help me putting things into a slightly more objective perspective

thank you for your reply and I am glad to hear that you are able to 'properly' cope with what you may have gone through and wish you all the best

I will most likely continue this thread on and off; going back to objective analysis of the [diagnosis] and I would be glad for more input if anything comes to mind

No matter what happened to you at an early age and beyond your control
you only need to focus on the awesome, outstanding person you are today.
This is what others see, this is the person who writes to us now, a survivor.

you are absolutely correct - there is an inherent danger in over-analyzing the past and there is no one answer to this, but knowing that others out there have found a way (such as yourself) and something 'as simple' as having someone else tell you that "hey, I found a solution that works for me", gives at least a glimpse of hope, no?

I appreciate your replies and am myself working on doing just [that] - putting [it] away somewhere; I just don't want it to keep simmering to the surface and influence my life overall and thus I suppose that I was hoping to view [the traumas] as objectively as possible, before putting them aside for good

for now we'll see; digging into this has had me writing several documents of text, never meant for anyone but me to read - drafts for what I have written here, thus far - if you will

it has shed a whole lot [of] light on the situations and this is why I try to post 'only the relevant findings with regards to the diagnosis' and I do feel that it does help me putting things into a slightly more objective perspective

thank you for your reply and I am glad to hear that you are able to 'properly' cope with what you may have gone through and wish you all the best

I will most likely continue this thread on and off; going back to objective analysis of the [diagnosis] and I would be glad for more input if anything comes to mind ---END QUOTATION---

Two posts and two restless nights; we're all wonderfully different and I know if I keep feeding it it will grow back into what it was. You can do it but you must learn to live without it and you have do it yourself, kick the crutch away and start walking.

Life is a river flowing, you can't change where it been; only where its going.

as a last addendum to my own experiences and with regards to coping with PTSD:
about two years ago something happened, which came to trigger my 'current state of mind' ('even more vigilant than usual', as it were) and thus have me dig deeper into this particular subject

it is something of which need not be spoken, since to me, regardless of all the situations I'd experienced before; they were nothing compared to the actual (aware) sensation of helplessness of this situation and it was something that completely changed everything about the way I live my life - in that it was basically the culmination of all my fears and there was nothing I could do to prevent it from happening

it also gave me a unique opportunity to feel something other than anger, for once - finally I had a natural response to the situation at hand and by sheer dumb luck I had just begun a new therapy-session, specifically with regards to PTSD

immediately after the event had occurred, I wrote it down; every last detail, then I put it away in a safe place
something I never need to look at again; never need to experience again and never need to speak of again

I don't know how detailed it is, nor how many pages it actually became, but it's there - for posterity

a year after that incident was when I started working out every day - before that I had begun structuring my life (eating/sleeping more properly and 'tidied up my life') and also partly with the help of therapy, but (as they told me), I was in control of the situation and seemingly knew how to cope with this... mess of things

but it felt important to me to write that particular incident down in detail; since the others I have accepted and found ways to 'deal with', whilst this one was too emotionally straining for me

some things, not even I can stand to think of
and to make sure that it stays that way and that I don't ever try to 'think too hard' about it (i.e. spending too much energy remembering details) - instead it'll be there, at a physical distance from me

what I have been trying to establish in my previous texts is that the trauma, or rather the traumatic reaction, seemingly gets 'lodged' in a person [with] PTSD
there has been some research as to how PTSD causes 'physical changes' in the brain (i.e. 'neurological) I am using very simple terminology here, as I am not educated enough to properly convey the scientific studies on the subject - but I do read them; this one in particular should shed some light on the matter:

this further explains my own specific problem, in that my reaction to the traumatic situations in the past has not necessarily been fear, but rather anger - this due to the surrounding nature of my personal trauma(s), as well as 'overall upbringing', in that the solution to any given problem seemed to be anger, violence and force, something which I internalized

now, being aware of this, is only a small step on the way - since time and time again, I find myself in situations whereas I somehow feel threatened and thus I respond swiftly, without giving it a second thought, leading to a lot of unnecessary conflicts, since I am constantly expecting [conflicts] to happen, thus finding myself in some bizarre catch-22

fortunately as of late, I have started (in hindsight) to reflect upon these conflicts, since it basically takes about ten minutes and then I will have forgotten all about it (it's a sort of 'defense-mechanism', in that I basically remove myself from the situation; 'suppressing' it, as it were - to cut it short; there's more info with regards to Dissociative Identity Disorder and ties into Complex PTSD (which it would be in my case) - Complex PTSD itself first being introduced in DSM-V (the most recent version) - for a little further reading on this, you can try this article:

I know that none of this gets me any closer to 'the solution', but (as aforementioned) I shall continue this endeavor, at my own pace - if nothing else for my own sake

:edit
changed last link for more objective description of Complex PTSD

the reason as to why I have not put up Complex PTSD as the main topic, is because I believe that the 'solution' may be similar in nature and I've met but few people with Complex PTSD and as such I figured it'd be easier to find answers on a broader scale

not necessarily to me, but others reading this thread may find it useful

---END QUOTATION---

Lord_Santa~

Not necessarily helpful to you in what happened to him but simply the
gist of his message where he's saying getting counseling/therapy/help
is what made the biggest difference in him dealing with it & the 2 links.