When hotshot TV paranormal investigators Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson get an invite to spend the night at the old Tapert mansion in Dearborn, Michigan, they think it'll just be another night of mugging for the cameras and raising their eyebrows at weird noises. But they don't count on coming face to face with the real head-spinning, hand-severing, lamia-summoning terrors that lurk within the mansion's four walls...

Based on Syfy's longrunning series and directed by Sam Raimi, it's....

When hotshot TV paranormal investigators Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson get an invite to spend the night at the old Tapert mansion in Dearborn, Michigan, they think it'll just be another night of mugging for the cameras and raising their eyebrows at weird noises. But they don't count on coming face to face with the real head-spinning, hand-severing, lamia-summoning terrors that lurk within the mansion's four walls...

Based on Syfy's longrunning series and directed by Sam Raimi, it's....

GHOSTHUNTERS: THE MOVIE

Starring:

Michael Chiklis as Jason Hawes

Nathan Fillion as Grant Wilson

Jeffrey Donovan as Brian Harnois

Michael Pena as Steve Gonsalves

Katie Featherston as Donna La Croix

AND!

Bruce Campbell as Old Man Tapert

I would go see it. However Kirs Williams is the only woman good looking enough to play Kris Williams. You could also have Colin Farrell as Barry Fitzgerald.

After a long absence, I've finally reached a very great prospect for my return to the recast fold.

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Deciding that they want to solely return to family-friendly material, Disney folds their Touchstone Pictures imprint and solely lets DreamWorks be on its own.

Meanwhile, the Touchstone library ends up in limbo until Alexander Payne eyes a specific film in their catalog ripe for remaking at Fox Searchlight, which he'll follow up his long-awaited next project, The Descendants, with.

RutHLe$s

People

Written by Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor

Based on the screenplay by Dale Hauser, inspired by the short story The Ransom of Red Chiefby O. Henry

Directed by Alexander Payne

Paul Giamatti as Sam Stone

Melissa McCarthy as Barbara Stone

Jason Segel as Ken Kessler

Christina Hendricks as Carol Dodsworth

Michelle Williams as Sandy Kessler

Kurtwood Smith as Chief Henry Benton

Wendell Pierce as Lt. Bender

Dermot Mulroney as Lt. Walters

with Thomas Haden Church as The Bedroom Killer

and Chris Pine as Earl Mott

A few notes: The property almost ended up at Universal with Ben Stiller directing and Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. eyed for the role of Sam.

Reese Witherspoon was considered for the role of Barbara Stone.

James Franco was originally sought after to play Ken, but had to drop out due to scheduling conflicts. Chris Evans, Bill Hader, Ben Foster, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Armie Hammer were also considered for the role.

Payne originally sought Matthew Broderick, his Election co-star, as Chief Benton, but had to bow out. Instead, Kurtwood Smith, Payne's Citizen Ruth co-star who was much older than Broderick, took the role.

Evans and Foster, as well as James Franco, were considered to play Earl Mott; Payne wanted to have a fairly known name play the small but important role.

2014: Christopher Nolan is recruited by Paramount to remake Ridley Scott's Black Rain. The update of the 1989 film reflects the turmoil of Japan in the aftermath of the Tohoku earthquake and tsunami and Fukushima I nuclear accidents. Nolan directs from a screenplay with a story by his brother, Jonathan, and David S. Goyer, and Hurt Locker scribe Mark Boal taking scripting duties.

Christian Bale as Det. Nick Conklin

Ken Watanabe as Masahiro

Armie Hammer as Det. Charlie Vincent

Michelle Williams as Joyce

Tadanobu Asano as Sato

Ken Takakura as Ohashi

Eric Roberts and Nestor Carbonell, both of whom worked with Nolan on The Dark Knight, appear as Internal Affairs investigators in a brief scene at the beginning.

I considered Maclachlan for the role of the High Roller, but ultimately in my awesome alternative universe, Cage would usurp Maclachlan as Lynch's muse. Plus, I would leave the Twin Peaks film as his last role with the Lynch.

Damnit! I've been noodling on this one for ages and now you've stolen my thnder!

David Lynch's LOST (1992-1998)

Kate Austin - Laura Dern

Boone Carlyle - Balthazar Getty

Michael Dawson - Brad Dourif

James "Sawyer" Ford - Billy Zane

Sayid Jarrah - Gordon Warneke

Jin-Soo Kwan - Winston Chao

Sun-Hwa Kwan - Joan Chen

Claire Littleton - Melissa George

John Locke - Dennis Hopper

Charlie Pace - Keifer Sutherland

Hugo "Hurley" Raines - Pruitt Taylor Vince

Shannon Rutherford - Heather Graham

Jack Shephard - Kyle Maclachlan

Notes; I had to play around with a few non-crucial ethnicities/nationalities to fit the concept. Plus, I'm tickled by the idea of Brad Dourif playing a wimpy, overprotective father. Zane and Hopper are the two choices I'm most proud of.

I don't know if there is enough cocaine in the world for me to make it through that version of LOTR... It would be terrific, yet horrifying. Also, I like your addition of actors of color. But, is Dennis Hopper going to be in blackface?

In an alternate mid 1990's James Cameron, hot off the success of Terminator 2 and True Lies, is looking to undertake a massive challenge. He turns down the opportunity to direct an epic romance set during the sinking of the Titanic because "[He] wasn't interested in making chick flicks" among other offers. Ready to call it a career and contemplating a shift into documentary film making he has a chance encounter with a young British film student by the name of Chris Nolan pitches him an idea unlike anything ever before.

After their successfull debut films, Auguste and Louis Lumiere decided that film was an invention without a future. Their minds were changed when they encountered a mysterious gentlemen who was very keen on remaking their latest film, The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat. The brothers agreed to let the stranger use their cinematograph equipment and arrange a showing for the film. Suspicions grew when Louis Lumiere saw the stranger using multiple reels of film on the station and wearing pink shorts while cranking the cinematograph. Auguste witnessed the stranger cutting negatives with scissors and dipping them in bright yellow and blue paint. Louis and Auguste realised they were dealing with a madman, but it was too late to cancel the premiere.

No known copies of the remake exist as the negative was burned after the premiere. Those who attended claim seeing brightly tinted incoherent images and colors and hearing the stranger playing weird music by beating anvils and other metal objects with a hammer. Ten audience members fainted during the film and a pregnant woman suffered a miscarriage shortly after the showing. The Lumiere brothers were taken into police custody and released on parole. The premiere destroyed the brothers' reputations and they swore to never make another living picture.

An eye witness claimed the film was titled The Arrival of an Unstoppable Train at La Ciotat. The auteur of the remake, who introduced himself as sir Anthony Scott, disappeared soon after the disastrous premiere.

I've been really wanting to do a mid-90's techno thriller Girl with the Dragon Tattoo directed by de Palma, but for now, here's his sun-caked, sweaty 1988 companion piece to Body Double:

wild things

Willem Dafoe as Sam Lombardo

James Woods as Ray Duquette

Patricia Arquette as Suzie Toller

Ione Skye as Kelly Van Ryan

Margot Kidder as Sandra Van Ryan

Rachel Ticotin as Gloria Perez

Cliff Robertson as Tom Baxter

and John Lithgow as Ken Bowden

Trivia: Mickey Rourke was originally de Palma's first choice for the role of Sam, but turned down out of fear of typecasting due to his prior, erotically-charged work. Bruce Willis was next, yet he wanted too much money. John Travolta, Sean Penn, Dennis Quaid, Tom Cruise, Jeff Bridges, Robert De Niro, Bruce Willis, Don Johnson, Kyle MacLachlan, Patrick Swayze, and Bill Pullman were also considered.

In addition to De Niro, Bridges, Quaid, Johnson, and Swayze, William Petersen, Tom Berenger, Michael Douglas, and Peter Weller were all considered to play Ray Duquette.