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Monday, February 8, 2016

This is really less of an personal opinion column and more
of a public announcement because I don’t want the local world as I know it to
think that I am encouraging poor use of outdoor primitive restroom facilities.

I am thrilled to announce that I was recently awarded the
Healthy Habits Champion of Orrville for the year, an honor that means important
people in the community noticed that I never sit down, like to sweat, and
inspire others to do the same.Truthfully, I had no idea what an award this was, and even weeks later
am still flattered and humbled and afraid to eat a cheeseburger in public.

Along with all of that, I’m still smiling at what has to be
my favorite typo of all time.I’m not
sure who forgot the letter, but I thank that person whole-heartedly for this
wonderful story that I will tell for years.

A full-page write-up in the evening’s program, the top
included a photo and the bottom of the page had a bold print of what I like to
call my Soapy Manifesto, and is printed on each of the labels for my small soap
company, Dirt Don’t Hurt.The purpose of
the words is to motivate people to be a part of nature, to get dirty, and then
to clean up with the soap. It contains such phrases as “climb a tree” and “walk
in a creek” and the important one, “peek under a rock.”

Only they overlooked the letter k in that last one.

We didn’t find the mistake until my daughter read the
program at home and said, “Mom, does your soap label really tell people to pee
under a rock?”

Thinking back, there I was, on stage in front of over 350
prestigious community members.I stood
there while a respected doctor told them all about my life and my
accomplishments.I smiled and rocked
back and forth in a dress I rarely have the chance to wear.And now, all I can think about is how many of
those prominent people were thinking of me out in the woods, rolling over a big
hunk of sandstone because I had too much coffee to drink.

And therefore, I wanted to take this prime space of
newspaper to clarify to all that are willing to read.I promise you all that peeking under a rock (and
not peeing under a rock) is a much better choice.In fact, I try to avoid rocks all together
when the urge strikes on one of my outdoor adventures, and any girl worth her
hiking boots will attest to that.

My favorite part of the whole ordeal is that I know the
woman who did the design for the program.“Didn’t you notice that there was a missing K?!?” I asked.

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Karrie McAllister writes and mothers from Small Town, Ohio, where she is also in the running for having the most unrelated part time jobs. Her column, Dirt Don't Hurt, has appeared on numerous Web sites and newspapers since 2005, and this blog is how she keeps track of them all until she can publish another book. Contact her at KarrieMcAllister [at] aol.com