Barrel Chested Old Coot At Beach Wants You To Guess How Old He Is

That leathery old bloke in speedos who’s always strutting around at the beach wants you to take a shot at guessing how old he is.

“How old do you reckon I am?” asked wrinkly beachgoer Bert Vovo as he puffed out his chest in front of some random sunbathers at Manly Beach yesterday. “Have a go, don’t be shy… how old?”

“He’d engaged me and my friend in some aimless chatter about bluebottles for several minutes before putting his hands on his hips and asking us to have a crack at guessing how old he is,” said Norwegian tourist Elke Slopslap. “I thought I’d be polite and estimate his age and then knock 20 years off because I assumed he was fishing for a compliment on how fit he was.”

Retired boilermaker Vovo was stoked when the pallid skinned backpacker guessed his age as 60ish, well below his actual age of 79.

“I’ve been a member of the surf lifesaving club here for 67 years and do 10 laps of the rock pool every morning,” crowed the septuagenarian sand stroller. “Sure my skin now has the colour and texture of a pair of tan brogues from Payless Shoes but I keep myself supple by rubbing in half a jar of dubbin every morning.”

Satisfied with the response, Vovo shuffled off down the beach in an old man jogging style looking for other sun bathers to have a chinwag with.