Internet Shorthand I'd Actually Use

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Internet Shorthand I'd Actually Use

By Alex Watt

-
-h
-Hey.
-H
-Hello. How are you? I’m genuinely interested in finding out. Really? That good? Well, that’s just wonderful. Smashing, really.
-TL;SALOF
-Too long; skimmed and LIKED on Facebook
-WLOLBCIFLIH2
-Writing LOL because I feel like I have to.
-G2PINOTC
-Got to pretend I’m not on the computer.
-Ya
-Typing with one finger while I eat yet another meal in front of this screen.
-#WINNING
-Just logged onto the Internet for the first time since 2011.
-NDNL2311Y
-Nope, DEFINITELY not listening to 311. Why?
-MFHJGHFHDJGRZTFRRFRRFGTHJJNHTGRRWRGTGHTTHEREHRTHEBHTENTHTHZESHSEHBVSEDHTH
-I fell asleep on my keyboard and had that dream about having a tiny pig named Peanut that I fed apple slices to with a huge knife for a best friend again.
-s
-Sorry for all of this. I really mean it. I’m so fucking sorry. Please, find it in your heart to forgive me. I know I don’t deserve it.