Day: March 2, 2019

I found a penny on the floor – head’s up! I must be lucky. March, makes me think of four-leaf clovers, rainbows, and pots of gold. I think about winning the lottery and who I would share my fortune with, the house I would buy, having a chef and personal shopper. It is so fun to imagine success just dropping into my lap and getting what I want without effort or perseverance.

Back to reality. So, what does it mean to be successful? I didn’t officially weigh-in today because it snowed during the night and our roads weren’t plowed. I weighed myself at home on my WW scale and I lost weight this week. That’s good because my weight has been fluctuating but within my Lifetime range. I think that makes me successful. I’m doing it – I’m maintaining my weight loss. Unlike a four-leaf clover, or a heads up penny I don’t have to search for it or stumble upon it – I can make it happen.

My weight loss journey is teaching me that I can make my own luck I can change my world and make things happen. It’s not really luck, it’s power. I’m in touch with my own power. Having a sense of personal power doesn’t mean that it’s always great. It’s not – I have to work for it. If you read yesterday’s post then you know sometimes I get overwhelmed. Not today. Today has been pretty good.

I’m making some progress with my work.

I had a very productive meeting.

I still managed to have some fun with my kids.

My last words for tonight’s post, say yes. Take this journey to weight loss and better health. Take it with a generous heart and without presupposed expectations. Take it because it is something you can do for yourself that you will appreciate. Take with kind words in your thoughts, and belief in your heart. You can do this.

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As I sit here snacking on the vegetable sticks I didn’t eat from lunch, looking out my dining room window into the grey twilight I’m trying not to feel too overwhelmed. You see, I am trying to think about what is really important and what’s not so important. There are so many different kinds experiences both good and bad and I find that sometimes either kind can make me feel overwhelmed. That’s how I’m feeling right now,

I’m thinking about some big exciting professional goals. I have worked on a project for a long time, years. I have been rejected, dug in and tried again. I have worked tirelessly with the belief Ithat I have something unique to offer. Now it’s almost here, (I can’t announce it yet) and it’s a strange feeling, I’m thrilled and terrified at the same time. Sometimes standing out leaves you open to ridicule. I speak from experience because for one reason or another, since I was a kid to the woman I am today, I find myself always standing out and I feel the same uncertainty. But I keep going because I can’t let fear be my ruler.

I’m also thinking about a person who I thought was a friend to me. I really trusted this person and it turns out I made some misjudgments about her character. She really let me down. I always seem to assume the best about people and I know how gullible that sounds. A woman I knew once told me something about myself that really hit home, it struck me because she was so wise and at the time her words really startled me because I had not myself in this way before. She said, I lead with my heart and that can get me into trouble if I’m not careful. Now I find myself in a similar situation, and I am beginning to understand it and it makes me sad. I love the idea of leading with my heart but the thing is – leading with my heart leaves me so vulnerable all the time. But I keep going and I hope a little wiser because I can’t let sadness be my ruler.

I’m also thinking about the weekend, and how I need to take a breather. I work hard, I am very dedicated to my career. I have some big things coming up next week that are going to require a lot of care and attention. So even though it’s the weekend, there is so much work I still need to do. I’m feeling crumpled under the stress of it at the moment. It makes me feel anxious but I know if I just get started, schedule a little bit each day I will get it done. Letting it sit is what would make it worse. So I keep going because I can’t let anxiety be my ruler.

I’m thinking about weighing in tomorrow as I work to hold onto my last big goal (oh yeah, this is a weight loss blog I lost 93 pounds). I can celebrate that I am not burying my feelings with food. I rolled over 31 points this week. I achieved my fitness goal, and I remained mindful. For example, I elected to try a bit of cinnamon bread, I ate it and really appreciated how good it tasted. Then I tracked it and didn’t go back for more. I just let it be and was happy for the experience of eating that small piece. If I ate more, it would just be more of the same taste and then I’d feel bad because I most certainly would have exceeded my healthy eating zone. That’s what maintenance is – it’s a journey and I can’t let food my ruler.

Even though my situation is the same, I feel better. Thinking through my feelings and honoring them helps. I recommend it. I think most people know that significant weight gain is seldom about cookies, chips, or candy as much as it is about coping. I think I’m better than just coping I think I can be my own ruler who understands that feelings come and feeling go it’s up to me to do what’s best. I can do it, so can you.