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Saturday, March 29, 2014

They aren't complex. Us girls try to figure them out, do detective work on their past, play confusing mind games, attempt to detect if there's any hidden meanings in what he tells you.

Unfortunately, most of the time, there isn't any mystery to solve. And if he really wants the relationship to work, he'd tell you everything about his past if you ask. Nope, no detective work needed.

I also realized that there are TOO many articles on what a woman wants, what should a guy do for his girlfriend and how to please a woman, thus I would like to write this, sharing what I've learnt from previous dating experiences and past relationships.

Speaking for the average male here in Singapore, here are 7 things which a guy REALLY wants:

I would like to think that most guys are contended easily, and I dare say this article applies to most guys, but there'll obviously be exclusions to my stereotype.

1. Be beautiful. Or learn to be.

A real man would like his partner to be beautiful. Not in terms of physical appearance but her heart.

She should be generous, passionate, compassionate and kind.

She should not be calculative, cruel with her words, and unappreciative.

She should not only be kind to people who are close to her, but this kindness should extend out to everyone who needs it. It can be simply saying thank you to the waitress serving your dinner, it can be empathizing with the less fortunate person selling tissue paper, but a woman who has the above mentioned traits is beautiful, not just to her boyfriend, but to everyone else who is lucky to have interacted with her.

2. Listen.

A lot of people I know seem to think everything is about them. When your boyfriend is telling you about his rough day at work, or how tiring his training in army was, please do NOT make it about you. A guy complains lesser than a woman, so if he does confides in you about how crappy he feels, it means he really needs to get it out, don't start telling him about how bad your day was too.

Your boyfriend deserves to have your full attention and it's not all about you - listen, and you'll realize that it'd bring both of you closer. You can't listen or understand him properly when you are trying to talk too.

3. Show him affection.

Most guys don't talk about this because it'll make him seem like a softie.

In fact, guys love affection. Run your fingers through his hair, squeeze his hand, rub his back, kiss his neck for no reason, he'd like it.

As much as we girls love guys playing with our hair, (I love my guy to stroke my hair as I fall asleep), hug us from the back, kiss our forehead and cuddle us, guys love it if we do the same things back to them so go ahead and make him feel loved.

4. Understand him.

So many women find that their partners may be impassive or unable to express how he feels properly. I'm telling you, it's normal. A guy may use every ounce of courage he has to tell his woman how much he loves her, only for her to say: "Are you sure?"

A guy can be insecure too, and because he is a guy, he will find it difficult to tell you of his insecurities. Underneath his tough guy facade, he will be torn thinking if his good enough for you, if you deserve better and whether you feel this way. Reassure him from time to time, show him love and affection, never try to make him jealous because it will hurt him more than you ever know.

He will find it hard to express himself, but if you are patient enough, he will show you a side of him you'll never realized existed. And when he does, realize you are fortunate enough to be the one to explore this side of him.

5. Trust him.

When a guy truly loves you, he would never do anything to hurt you. Yes, there are exceptions to this theory, but these exceptions only occur when the guy loves himself more than you.

Do not doubt him, do not question him or do anything to make him lose his faith. If he gives you his word that he will not cheat on you, believe him.

(If he does - it's him who loses you and a guy who cheats is never worth your tears.)

6. Treat him the way you want to be treated.

Respect - Even if what he suggests or says sounds silly, do not laugh at him if he was being serious. It will hurt his ego, and broken pride can be tricky to navigate around. Tell him nicely, talk to him and explain why you disagree.

Understanding - Understand his needs, his wants and his burdens. Even if you can't help him much, it's comforting for him to know that you'd be around for him and not desert him when he needs you.

Understand why is he keeping quiet, maybe he had a bad day at work, or maybe something is bothering him.

Care - If his upset or mad at something, don't ignore him even if you have to text him 20 times. It's not about being desperate, it's letting him know, you care.

Tell him you care, you love him, and all the sweet, romantic stuff, YOU want him to tell you. Don't just wait to receive, as much as you like him telling you stuff like that, he would appreciate you being honest and open about your feelings towards him.

Surprises - I really reeeeaally love surprises. And as much as we all like to receive, I think it's great if both parties can love to give. Simple things like buying his favorite chocolate or the book he was telling you about, will let him know you do think of him even when his not around you.

7. Be a goddess in bed.

You don't have to look like Megan Fox to appeal to him. Be confident about yourself, it's not only you that's feeling awkward the first time you sleep together, he has insecurities too and as much as you are worrying whether he notices the cellulite on your butt, he is trying his best to make his stomach look as small as possible - and oh does his armpits smell?

I'm not saying you have to give him a mind blowing blow job, but it'll be fantastic if you can attempt to. If you're unsure whether he likes it, ask him.

If you don't fancy him eating you down below, tell him at the start. If a guy thinks you like something, he will do it, again and again. And if you hate oral sex, it's going to be embarrassing telling him you don't like it after he has been giving it to you for months. Yes, it'll also make him feel stupid.

Tell him how you love the way his lips are, how handsome he is, how perfect you think he is, tell him he was awesome in bed - and mean it. It will make his day or even his week, and he will try his best to please you more.

Many people don't realize that communication is an important part of sex, telling each other how you feel, makes you more vulnerable and 'exposed', and the sex that follows is gonna be mind blowing.

***

www.strawbunnyy.blogspot.com

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Next you pick your toppings from a variety offered such as - cucumber, raisins, pine nuts, broccoli, mushroom, pasta, croutons - they've a huge variety of toppings so you're sure to find a few you want.

Then you can pick your Add-ons which includes yummy stuff like Parmesan cheese, bacon bits and apricots.

You can pick your meats next, the choices include - prawns, smoked duck and Parma ham.

Finally you pick a sauce, from choices like balsamic vinaigrette, yuzu mayo and sweet Thai chili.

There's also a selection of pre-packed salads and sashimi if you want a quick take away.

Salmon set

Dining in is also possible, the interior of this place is small but cosy with high ceilings and warm lighting, expect only bar seats though.

Interesting sounding names...

Today's specials

And my lunch is done in about 5minutes! It looks great and I like how there are so many greens to choose from. The smoked duck is not bad but I think imma try the Parma ham when I feel a need to eat better food. Hehehe.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Haven't done a Typical Deborah weekend post for ages since I started my full time job, so because I'm feeling so refreshed after sleeping in until 2pm earlier today, (it's Sunday now and I'm drafting this) I decided to blog today! :D

So for the past 2 nights, I've been heading to FashionTV Club at Clark Quay. If you do remember, I blogged about a BBP (biggest baddest parties) event there before.

I like the classy interior of the place, and the best part is, it's huge. Like really comfortable plush sofa seats and there's lots of space everywhere. Crowded clubs are good, it's fun and lively, but overly crowded clubs aren't fun at all, you've to squeeze to get to the dance floor, fight through a crowd full of drunks to get to the toilet - you get the idea.

At FashionTV Club (f club) it's crowded, but not overly crowded, and the music there is really awesome, I like the fact that they have their own FASHION Vodka, and prosecco too.

Friday night after work, outfit to F club!

My dear Yan and another 2 girlfriends came to find me, and after that I went to Playhouse with Yan to see some old friends!

Honestly to me, when people say friends come and go, yeah I totally believe that's true, but I'd always make some effort, even if it's just a quick hi, to remind the old friends that we were once close before and I'll still be around if you ever wanted to hang out.

(I miss my old friends T_____T )

And yesterday night, I managed to finish up my draft on Why guys should not pay on the first date, after working on it and constantly editing and delaying for 2-3 weeks.

I truly love to write posts like that, with my views, or opinions or even ideas on certain topics, but it's so time consuming, and with my full time job, I hardly have enough time to do anything else. I haven't even been shopping much lately, so that's how busy I am.

BUT.. I would still write posts like that every 2 weeks or so, and I thank the people around me, those I don't even know on Facebook, who read and share my posts. I feel extremely satisfied when people tell me they like how I write and my content is awesome.

Saturday's outfit to F club!

And because I haven't been shopping much, I'm running out of clothes to wear...

If you do realize, I don't quite like wearing the same piece twice, unless I really do like it or it's a basic piece like a black bandage skirt.

And on Friday, my colleagues asked me out for lunch. Less than a 10 minute walk away from my office was Asia Square Mall, I didn't even know this place existed; really have to do more exploring but I hate going out in the sun, rather stay in the office eating cold food.

We had Astons!! My colleague treated me in 'celebration' of me working 1 month in the firm. I honestly can't believe how nice SOME of my colleagues are. Their extremely helpful and always watching out for me. :')

Whenever I eat Astons, I have to have Mac and Cheese. Hehehe. I've tried the fried chicken before but didn't quite like it, the pork ribs I had was rather nice though.

(Note: Thanks Dex for bringing me to Astons LOL if not I'd probably die without tasting such yummy food)

Some food pictures just to make you hungry.

My other colleagues ordered from Imperial Treasure. (it's a huge food court with many different stalls)

So yeah that sums up my weekend, and next weekend, I hope to do something more productive then just partying. I've been craving for a swim for ages but just too lazy, and it's that time of the month this week so....

Anyway, stay tuned for my next blog post and thank you for reading! xxx

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Nowadays, all we talk about is gender equality, feminism, about how women are as equally good and capable as men.

But when we talk about getting the bill, it becomes a whole new subject in debate. Suddenly gender equality don't apply, and it's a mandatory for men to get the bill on a first date and subsequent dates thereafter.

While I was thinking about what to blog about for my next post, I happened to be talking to my girlfriends and we were on the subject of whether men should pay for women, (for meals, movies, you get the idea) and to my surprise, 2 of them said yes definitely and the other one said if it's a first date, he should pay.

But... My stand is that a guy should never pay on the first date and here are my reasons why:

1. It's a first date!

You don't know if it's going to progress any further than 1 or 2 dates, it doesn't seem wise to be paying for someone you barely know despite how well both of you got along, and unless you can really afford it, I'd suggest that you let her pay for herself.

2. She's not doing you a favor.

The mentality some women have is that, - I'm doing you a favor having dinner with you, and thus you're obligated to pay for me. That is SO wrong. If she thinks she's doing you a favor by giving you her time and you should pay in return, it's more like you 'buying' her already.

Honestly I don't deny I would like the guy paying, I save my money this way. But every date is an investment. It's an investment of your time, and money. And while investing, expect to have some losses as well - spending money eating out at a restaurant, paying for your own movie ticket. Not every date will work out, not every guy you date will become your boyfriend but regardless, the point is for you to enjoy the entire experience and who knows? It could be love! :)

3. The test.

It's a first date, and usually, regardless of whether she offers to pay or not, it's a test of how generous you are, and how much you would be able to provide her with in future.

However, it is important to realize that YOU, matter too. It's your first date with her, and you should also test her and see what kind of female is she.

4. You can test her character.

If she insists on paying for herself, it is likely she is someone who is independent, who looks out for herself and these are good characteristics you'd want to find in someone whom you'd want to get into a relationship with.

However, if she looks surprised or upset when you don't pay for her share, it is rather likely that she is someone who is dependent on her partner, who expects and demands for more than you can offer, and who will whine about every little thing and independent women will shrug off.

5. She'd expect it.

If you hastily took out your wallet when the bill is brought to your table, chances are, on subsequent dates, she'd expect you to continue paying, after all you already made it seem that you're obligated to.

I'm not saying all women are like that, but there is a significant figure of women who have that mentality, and I actually have female friends who are like that.

I'm a 'better be safe than sorry' kind of person, so I'd advise never to pay in the first place to avoid future awkwardness and hesitation when it comes to paying the bills. If the relationship does progress into something more, and you're quite certain your feelings towards her are reciprocated, then you might like to start paying for her.

6. Never let a woman feel that she is entitled to what you can offer.

The thing I really dislike in many females is that they expect things. I heard stories about women not even bringing their wallets with them on the first date. (If you think I'm exaggerating, Google: Kishore Nimmala)

If she feels that she is entitled to all you can offer, it is likely she won't appreciate you nor thank you for what you provide or give her in future.

***

With all that said, everyone is still entitled to his/her take on the matter, you can say I'm all wrong and men should always pay.

But regardless, the guideline is never to be, or appear to be cheap.

Guys who are cheap is one of the biggest turnoff in the early stages of dating.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

So someone reminded me I'm neglecting my blog and it suddenly hit me that it's already almost Thursday and I haven't even updated about my weekend! It actually passed my mind to update my blog but the thought quickly passed, my mind's so crammed full of stuff these days I think I'm gonna explode any time.

So I'll start school in May, pretty excited and I'm exempted from 2 modules, business accounting and business law so yay! Hopefully can finish the rest of the modules and move on to the degree. *cross fingers*

And today I was so mad because I walked Into my bed room door wtf. So my dad woke me up, and I got out of bed. I CLEARLY remembered opening the door but y'know when you're half asleep minutes seems like seconds and everything seems all weird and jumbled up.

So when I wake up, I usually close my eyes and walk to kitchen, I don't open my eyes until I washed my face. And I CLEARLY remembered opening the damn door. But then I banged my head on the door and got a shock I literally jumped. In my shock, I opened the door and my toe got crushed by the door. I was practically threatening to murder the door after that. What a great start to the day.

Last Sunday, met my lovely girlfriend Yan for dinner at Pepper lunch.

Oh and I re pierced my nose.

Kinda sad I didn't keep the previous nose piercing, it was well seasoned already, (could leave the stud out for 1-2 days and the hole would still be there) but the stud kept falling out and I got irritated so closed it. Also it was pierced too high so I can't put a nose ring.

Yes!! This time I got them to pierce lower and you'd be seeing a nose ring on me soon! :D

Le gf with her awesome purple hair

<3

And I didn't even club last weekend so it was a pretty crappy weekend. Luckily I met Yan; it was the highlight and only happy bit of my weekend.

This weekend would be a better one and next, even better, I hope!

Working on another blogpost soon so I hope to get that up next week or this weekend! xx