14 October 2012

90 DAY PROJECT WEEK 3: CREATE A RESISTANCE-BUSTING TOOL KIT

So, here we are at Week 3 of the 90 Day Transformation project, and we now have 400 beautiful people from all over the world embarking on this amazing journey.

We are now at the stage of getting down to the nitty gritty. So far, we have declared our dreams and identified what we need to let go of so that we can move forward towards them.

Now that is all well and good, but what do you do when that pesky resistance arises? You know that feeling that makes you want to retreat under the covers, throw your dreams in the bin, and hide away from the world?

Resistance comes in many shapes and forms. It may feel like a heavy, negative emotion like fear, self-doubt or anger. It may come in the form of a loud, barking inner critic who tries to convince you that you are not good enough and you cannot have what you want. Or, it may be some lingering of beliefs about yourself that you have been holding on to for years such as I am not good enough, I am unloveable, I am not capable etc..

At the end of the day, we all feel resistance on some level. It is part of the growth process. If you were not growing, becoming more and evolving you would not be coming up against resistance. Think about it - do you experience fear in your comfort zone? Not really. You generally only experience it when you are stepping out of it, embracing the unknown and being willing to take risks.

The aim of moving past resistance is not to try to eliminate it, destroy it or ignore it. Rather it is about choosing how we are going to respond to it.

LESSON ONE: YOU ARE NOT YOUR STORY

Your story is what you tell yourself. It is the meaning you make about events that happen. It is how you interpret the world and then what you come to believe about yourself as a result.

At your core, you are not your story. You were not born in to this world with your story, you have developed it over time. Any time you tell yourself a story that makes you feel crap, that makes you feel that you cannot be, do or have what you want or that makes you feel limited in some way, you are lying to yourself. That is not your truth.

So many of us hold on very tightly to our story. We do not want to let it go even if it does not serve or support us. But we must realise that our story is not fixed. It is not fact. You can actually change the story you are telling yourself the moment that you choose too.

LESSON TWO: DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK

Just because you think something, does not mean it is true. You have the ability to choose which of your thoughts you will listen to and believe, and which ones you will discard. The only reason certain thoughts feel so real to you is because you have been thinking them for so long, and as a result you have now accrued a lot of evidence to support them.

Rather than just accepting everything that comes in to your mind as truth, start by examining it. Take a look at it and ask - is this thought going to serve, nourish and support me? Is it going to enable me to become the person I want to be? Does it make me feel good to think it?

If you cannot answer yes, then let it go!

You do not have to believe everything that you think. You have a choice.

LESSON THREE: WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS WHAT YOU SEE

Do you know that you actually filter the world based on your beliefs? You will delete, distort and generalise information that you receive from the world so that it matches your beliefs.

Plus, once you believe something to be true, you will begin to attract people, experience and events that support that belief. Whatever you program in to your mind is what you attract.

Let's say you believe that you are unlovable. You will attract people, events and circumstances in to your life that support that belief, and you will delete, distort or generalise any information that does not support that belief. You will attract people that cannot love you, events where you feel unloved, and circumstances where your belief about not being loveable is confirmed. You will also not notice, remember or acknowledge any time where people have actually shown you love, or where you have felt loveable as this would dis-prove your belief.

Pretty powerful stuff hey!

CREATE A RESISTANCE-BUSTING TOOL KIT

In the video blog above I share 3 practices that I have used in my life to support me in working through my resistance. I do not believe we need to try to eliminate our resistance, rather we need to choose new ways to respond to it.

On the 90 Day Project Transformation page I asked the group to share with me what strategies they were already using to handle their inner critic, their negative emotions and how to overcome limiting beleifs. The answers blew me away!

They included things such as; affirmations, remembering why you want what you want and using that to pull you forward, writing lists to acknowledge the amazing things you have achieved, telling your inner critic to "stop", and then re-affirming what you do want instead, journalling, emotional freedom technique, meditation, watching inspiring videos, reading books, witnessing the inner critic, visualisation, pep-talks, recognising that your inner critic is trying to protect you, choosing a word/feeling for the day and gratitude lists!

Wow!

I highly recommend you each start creating your own tool-kit to help you work through any resistance that comes up. Please feel free to share what you use in the comment section below.

2 comments:

Wow, I love this video, you can see your passion and sincerity when you talk in this video, it's beautiful. I love viewing this resistance as a positive thing because it means we are changing and bursting with new things. So by shifting your perspective the fear and anxiety isn't something to be overwhelmed but to be embraced. I totally can relate to the downward spiral of something wrong with me and then getting more upset with critiquing yourself. I have to add I totally experienced this negativity yesterday morning when I woke up at 3am (the morning of my first ever half marathon) and I woke up with this complete I can not run this, it will not be possible, and it had me so fearful. But of course there would be that critic because I was about to do something amazing that day. Which I did I ran it all without stopping or walking. Thanks so much for a beautiful video! x

I get SO much resistance, and so much anxiety in many aspects of my life. I understand what you chatted about in your video - about resistance being a sign of things shifting and changing. But I get confused. I feel that sometimes resistance can be a sign - your intuition - telling you when things aren't right. I regularly get this with my career. Have I been misreading this whole thing? Can resistance be a sign that you're on the wrong path? Or is it telling me that I'm actually heading in the right direction??

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HELLO + WELCOME

My name is Connie. I am a certified transformation coach and a passionate writer who has an addiction to green juice and an intense love of yoga. If you wish you get in touch, please email me at connie@conniechapman.com