How Feminism and Social Media Destroyed The Natural Male

Harry TheBicepsFlexKilla was standing in front of the public library. Raindrops were slowly accumulating on top of his brown desert boots, which he had strategically chosen to match the color of his jacket. His mind and heart were so occupied in decoding the future that the figures of the strangers passing by gradually transformed into obscure streetlight shadows slowly entering and disappearing from Harry’s peripheral vision like muted ghosts.

Pushed by forces that you hear only when you set foot on the battlefield, Harry jumped on the first step of the entrance leading to the large building. The goal was to make himself look longer.

“The first impression is everything,” he thought.

His new height changed the view and gave him an opportunity to see a glowing waterfall formed by the rain and the street lamp. Everything was trivial and yet magical.

“This is it,” said Harry with his facial expression, lifted his chin and crossed his arms seemingly ready for whatever.

The night advanced. The rain intensified and transformed the dark trees around into a percussion orchestra by hitting the dying November leaves as if they were drums. Harry’s sleeves were getting heavier by the minute, but he didn’t want to hide.

“There is time. Traffic and all… I have to stay here for her to see me,” rationalized Harry in an attempt to calm down the reality-induced corrosion loading in him.

The sound of heels hitting the ground reached Harry’s ears, and he quickly turned his head to the left. The movement was subtle and yet it revealed in detail the emotional whirlpool inside of him.

“Back in 1988…I was a soldier…,” said an old homeless man in dirty boots to anyone listening. His words were clothed in a rusty, whiskey timbre. He slowly left Harry’s sight while taking away the sound of heels punching the pavement with him.

“There is still time. Traffic and all,” said Harry.

He remained at the same place and limited his movements because he wasn’t particularly enthusiastic to hear the humidity level report prepared by his skin.

Unknown minutes later, he unzipped his jacket and took out his smartphone to see the time and to acquire the silhouette of a “normal” modern person. His ego was tired of inhabiting a man looking like a loser meditating under the rain.

It was late… so late that Harry wished he didn’t know how to read the time.

“Maybe I should go?”

Harry’s smartphone addiction pushed through. He instinctively went through his screens and saw the gallery app. He pressed on it by habit. The pixels united and formed a digital image of his date before him – she was beautiful and thankfully not fat.

“There is still time. Traffic and all,” said Harry and put the phone back in his pocket.

Through a human eye, the rain appeared full of guilt but couldn’t help itself and embraced Harry until every trace of hope drowned.

10 days later, Harry saw her on his way to the gym (deadlift day). “A small world.”

The woman was with another man – taller and more handsome than Harry.

Conversely, she was different from the picture. Pimples missing from the original report were covering her face whereas her clothes appeared strangers to a washing machine and style. Yet she was with someone seemingly extracted from the higher stratosphere. This image stood with Harry throughout the whole workout.

“Why,” thought Harry while ripping off the heavy barbell off the floor.

“Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”

Feminism and Social Media = A Combination from Hell

I was born before the Internet…before the PC. I remember the early, primitive days. Back then, women were not nearly as interested in technology. Many considered the computing machines a zone reserved for male nerds incapable of obtaining sexual experiences.

The situation didn’t change much when the PC acquired colors other than black, white and green. It didn’t change when the Internet hit the world either.

Yes, women began to use the computer to download entertainment, mainly movies and songs, but this kind of addiction is neither as obvious nor as criticized. After all, the TV had already been injecting the veins of the modern humanoid for quite some time.

The real change took place when MySpace entered the online realm. This was the turning point.

I don’t know what MySpace is today, but in the beginning, it was a social network similar to Facebook. The main difference was that the user had more control over the design of his or hers personal page. There were themes and various settings to play with. Every profile was different, unlike Facebook which looks like a database and gives you close to zero customization options.

I had the chance to see the effect of MySpace on women from the first row. A family member of mine became addicted to MySpace. Tuning her profile turned into a part-time job. If she was in front of a computer, she was on MySpace.

This form of MySpace faded, but the new social media and the smartphones sealed the deal by building and maintaining the digital weapons and infrastructure needed to capture the female population.

Today, women are more than addicted to social media and phones. Texting female zombies have become the norm. In most cases, they are on Facebook, Messenger or Instagram. (The younger generations also play with juvenile stuff like SnapChat.) Many women would rather get a divorce or quit their job than delete their social media accounts.

Do you know that feeling when you head-shot someone in CS:GO? That’s dopamine.

Do you know that feeling when you receive the text message or the e-mail that you have been waiting for all day? That’s dopamine.

Do you know that feeling when the courier calls you to give you a parcel? That’s dopamine.

Do you know that feeling when nattyornot.com releases a new article or a book? That’s dopamine.

It’s not a secret that the goal of every app, game, website, movie, book…etc. is to generate as much dopamine as possible within you. The more dopamine there is, the harder it becomes to let go and do something else. There are even companies that specialize in strategies designed to render digital products even more addicting by increasing the production of dopamine.

The collaboration between the social media and smartphones results in a highly efficient dopamine factory. Notifications in all their forms (ticks, vibrations, sounds…etc.) are incredibly addictive. I would even say that they are more effective than video games because you link them to real life events and opportunities. Winning a game may be fun, but your subconscious knows that it’s not real. This is not the case when it comes to notifications since they relate directly to sex, love, friendship, money, fame and status.

2. Ego Satisfaction

What is the ego? One of the definitions would be – others’ perception of you. In other words, an element that dictates almost every action that people make.

Since social media allow you to alter the way other humans see you in a very effective manner, it becomes easy to join the party and never look back.

3. Constant validation

Social media platforms are capable of providing constant validation. Hearing how pretty and cool you are never gets tiresome.

Guess, what? The average woman receives a hundred times more validation than the average man. Just click on the profile picture of a random woman, and you will see at least 50 likes and many comments suggesting that she is magnificent beyond belief.

Ironically, that’s often the case even when the person in question does not fulfill the definition of the complimenting adjectives.

One time I saw the profile photo of a girl that was simply ugly. Maybe it was just the photo…maybe not…most likely not, and yet the army of positive comments was there. The same happens to men too, but not nearly to the same degree, for women are less likely to compliment a man. Positive comments from your buddies may be cool, but we all know what we really want – female attention.

In women’s case, the source of that constant validation are usually other females, white knights (sexist males who worship women while remaining blind to their imperfections) and other forms of horny men whose desire to penetrate is making them hallucinate.

4. Power

Dating apps, sites and their unofficial form known as social media gave women an opportunity to hurt an incredible amount of males (and females for the matter) directly and indirectly. Inflicting pain is a source of power in itself and could be very addictive. It is hardly a surprise that women are reluctant to give up the throne. Once you’ve experienced luxury, going back to the kingdom of the poor hurts even more.

Those four pillars result in social media addiction of the highest order.

The Side Effects

The female power online created dynamics that will be studied by future generations in psychology and history classes. That’s how massive the changes have been.

Which segment do you think has mutated the most?

Of course, it’s the dating world.

Back in the day, people looking for love online were considered freaks, weirdos and cowards. This is no longer the case. You can find all kinds of individuals online – from beggars to princes.

Flirt websites and especially apps such as Tinder have had the highest impact on dating because they created an infrastructure allowing women to easily connect with various categories of potential lovers.

Online dating gave women power of a magnitude so great that even they are scared of it sometimes.

Women dictate things online for the following reasons:

1. There are more men than women online.

More men are willing to make an online dating profile because:

a. Men are rational and put an emphasis on efficiency.

b. It’s seemingly easier to meet someone online, although it rarely turns out to be the case.

c. Men don’t receive as many offline offers as women. If you are a woman that gets hit on 5 times every time you leave the house, the incentive to participate in online dating is smaller.

d. Most men have a higher sex drive than women because testosterone is one hell of a hormone.

You may think that the high percentage of males online means that men dictate the rules of the game, but you are forgetting a few details.

First, the keyword is online.

Second, those men are competing against each other directly.

Third, when a commodity of any kind is available in great quantities, its price usually drops, for there are many options.

If for every woman online there are 20 men, the value of a single proposal decreases significantly. Why would anyone cry over you when there are 20 more just like you ready to take over?

2. Some Apps and Dating Sites are Sexist

Some dating apps and sites are free or at least cheaper for women whereas men always have to pay for the nice sexy features – kind of like the clubs that allow women to enter without paying anything. If that is not sexist, I do not know what is.

Thumb communication a.k.a. texting altered the way people communicate forever. Undoubtedly, there are some benefits to texting, but without discipline, convenience always turns into imbalances and suffering.

Texting, coupled with the online dating dynamics, provided women with great power because of its casual and accidental properties.

In the past, there was no texting. If you wanted to ask out a woman, you had to do it either in person, through friends, in a paper later or on the phone. What will she say? There are three possibilities. Yes, no, some other time (which is a no). Texting does not offer a completely different answer, but it does not require a fast response – a very important characteristic.

Women love that. She can answer whenever she wants, and if you pressure her to text you back faster or with more precise wording, you will receive the label “loser with no life.”

Females often rely on texting to profile you. The exchanged words and their timing have a double meaning and contain different forms of tests. Silence is also a test. Many women love to leave you hanging in order to see how you will react. Of course, the outcome of those tests depends on how much they actually like you. If they are really into you, you will get away with bad answers or may not even be tested. If they are hesitating about you, the wrong behavior will earn you a rejection.

Another option that only texting provides would be the almighty – no answer/ignore mode (which is a no). This property is a great feature for the modern heart-breaker. She doesn’t even have to say anything whereas women of yesterday had to have the guts to actually reply unless we are talking about a love letter.

Of course, men can technically use the same options, but more often than not, they find themselves on the receiving end. Only the princes (rich and/or pretty boys) are strangers to this treatment.

“Why isn’t she texting me,” said Harry while looking at his phone on the way back.

There are two main reasons why a girl is not answering after a sufficient amount of time has passed.

1. She is dead…or injured.

2. She doesn’t want to.

By the way, she didn’t forget about you. But even if she did, do you really want a girl that “forgets” about you?

Texting = Efficiency?

People say that texting is efficient, but this is rarely the case. The proper word would be informal – two different epithets.

Why would you complicate things? Why would you write a novel on your tiny phone when you can just call and acquire more information in 3 minutes? Sounds inefficient to me. Guess, what? Women don’t care about efficiency as much as men do. Or should I say that they have a different definition of that word? Texting simply suits their natural desire to play mind games and avoid direct confrontations/answers.

Even Ugly Women Get To Ride the Ferrari

One would think that only beautiful female specimens enjoy the mentioned privileges, but this simply isn’t true. Remember what I told you about quantity? The more there is, the less it costs. Well, the opposite is also true. The less there is, the more it costs.

Since the higher echelons of hot girls can connect with males carrying the “rarest blood types” through social media, plenty of average and even far above average men are left on the battlefield where they have to fight for females from the lower leagues.

Unsurprisingly, men’s sexual hunger and desperation force them to lower their standards. As a result, ugly and average women receive a lot of attention from males far prettier and more sophisticated than them.

Honestly, the only requirement for a girl to receive attention from guys above her level is to not be fat …very fat. This is especially true online.

The competition becomes even harder when the princes realize that their princesses are high maintenance women and start going for the “village girls” who are not as pretty or as sophisticated but far less bitchy… at least in theory.

Would You Buy An Inferior Model When A Better One Is Available For The Same Price?

You are buying a car. There are two options – a Volvo station wagon with no air conditioning and a Ferrari. The price is the same. Take your pick.

Allow me to explain.

Social media gave women a huge pool to choose from.

HarryTheBicepsFlexKilla says hello, but so does Jeff – The Movie Star.

Who do you reply to? Enough said.

I guess you are familiar with the 80/20 rule. It has been in the cheesy posts and books of many positive thinkers. Well, it comes in many forms. One of them says – women want only 20% of the men. The rest 80% are not welcome. Social media and dating apps catalyzed the manifestation of this desire and turned the 80/20 rule into the 95/5 rule – women want only 5% of the males.

Feminism Says It’s All Good

Feminism has convinced many women that their gender makes them entitled to everything. When social media and feminism united, they created a monster – an irrational woman without a desire to be self-critical. The modern feminist woman thinks that she is immune to doing wrong and swims in a sea of self-righteousness. When you add the classic female irrationality and men’s desire to enter any woman that is not fat, the societal imbalances become even stronger.

I Will Just Get Bigger

How is this connected to muscle construction?

There’s a strong connection, actually. Men start lifting weights for three reasons – to impress women, to earn applause from other men and to feel better. Fat powerlifters may feed you theories about strength and barbell affection, but they would be lying to you. Yes, your motivation may evolve somehow over the years, and the ego frequency may be lowered somewhat or changed, but this doesn’t change the initial intent.

The average beginner joins the fight against gravity to acquire a body similar to Jeff Seid’s or Simon Panda’s so that horny girls lick his abs in public too.

Sooner or later, the illusion shatters. The lifter learns that his goal is impossible to acquire naturally. The dream body that is all over Instagram is the result of drugs and nothing but drugs. Regardless of the training routine or diet, the lifter fails to get even close to the so-called “penetrate me now physique”.

The muscular celebrities are seemingly enjoying the greatest pleasures that a man can experience while the average looking natural male resides in the dirt. Consequently, the natty male becomes bitter and starts to feel isolated, humiliated and misunderstood.

This isn’t helped by the fact that women expect you to look like a cover model when you tell them that you lift.

Because of this scenario, many boys start taking steroids. Therefore, women indirectly force men to roid up. Of course, the feminists will deny this because they are always innocent and will gladly state that this is a man’s choice, and yet many of them love the fitness model look and enjoy it in large quantities when it’s available during the right time of the month.

Ironically, many of the same feminists frown when you tell them to lose a few pounds.

What a monster you are…

Social Media Promote Roid Users

The majority of the muscle constructors who enjoy a great exposure and online fame are not natural. A coincidence? Hardly.

There are two main reasons for this phenomenon:

Big Muscles = More Attention

All content online is fighting for your attention. Every site, app and digital company want to steal some of your time. Obviously, someone looking like a cartoon character would attract more eyes than a nerd doing 20 pull-ups.

Promotion

Many muscle superstars are walking advertisements supported financially by the big companies.

All of this results in a muscle cartel muting the naturals while giving a huge microphone to the roid users. Since people spend a ton of time online, their perception of a natural muscular body shifts significantly.

Will this ever change?

Yes, but it won’t be soon. The so-called “hookup culture” will stay here for a while because the elite benefits from it. Besides, the infrastructure is already in place and operating in a stable format. The goal is to make money and spread cultural propaganda by destroying the family unit while hiding behind a democratic shield – “we are just providing more choices.”

However, the market may adjust itself eventually. More and more women are starting to realize that at the end of this game, they don’t win much either. Sure they drive their Ferrari for a while, but many females are left in a terrible condition once they get older. Their handsome lovers simply go for younger girls or settle down with a female that isn’t as promiscuous because as old-fashioned as it may sound – some people want their partners to be faithful.

As far as the muscle world is concerned, nothing will change unless something better than steroids presents itself.

“What could it be? Maybe steroids without side effects,” says the dreamer.

Sorry but no, bro.

There is an old saying in pharmacology – if a drug has no side effects, it’s probably not working.

You cannot have something for nothing because the world is dualistic. The existence of a “good thing” requires the existence of a “bad thing” by default.

Ultimately, the scheme is serving the system fairly well. It’s been in place since Weider and Hoffman’s time, and nothing has broken so far. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it…right? Well, it isn’t.

Every year a generation of boys turns 17 and types “big muscles” in Google, hoping that 100 push-ups are the key to a physique capable of dragging women into a state where tearing your clothes is a priority of their existence.

The dynamics at place are so strong that even if the big companies publicly tell the truth themselves, the naive millennial boys still wouldn’t believe it.

FAQ: What do you mean by “a destroyed family unit”?

You are probably familiar with the quote – United We Stand, Divided We Fall. On a micro level, it applies to the family unit. Divided families (constant arguing, mind games, lies and cheating between the family members) are the system’s favorite because it’s much easier to extract resources from someone when he/she doesn’t have a strong back. A simple example would be a kid/young adult taking a loan from a bank instead of his family.

Conversely, strong educated families are the system’s biggest problem, for they are hard to push into a labyrinth full of false heroes and values.

But do women really like big muscles?

Big muscles have never been a requirement to get girls. A nice physique helps but the rest of the appearance matters more. A guy may have a great body, but if his other metrics (money, status, looks, character) are unsatisfying, he will not attract a horde of raving females. A young Brad Pitt with a fat gut would get a million time more girls than your average bodybuilder.

However, since many of those metrics are essentially 100% genetic, men focus on the values that can change (the physique) and enter the Game of Muscle where a vicious cycle of lies created by the industry waits for them.

Women appreciate greatly the physiques of fitness models, but the muscle samurais that enjoy the largest amazon attention are doing well on other fronts too – they are relatively handsome and have coins for days. Meanwhile, plenty of muscle heads remain repulsive to women regardless of their big arms and chests. Why? Because they lack social skills, status, money or are simply unattractive in general.

The World Has Never Been More Visual

Looks have always been important, but social media increased their importance even further by filtering out everything else. The screen only shows the digital image of a person. Therefore, many feel obligated to enhance their photos artificially. This is how strong the pressure to have a “decent” presence on social media has become among the youth.

Even the older generations are affected by it. I’ve seen mothers and even grandmothers checkout the Instagram profiles of potential candidates for the “hearts” of their daughters and granddaughters.

This, my friends, is one of the many mechanisms that destroy the average natural male. Those are the current dynamics of the social natural selection. For better or worse, they are here to stay for a long time, although the model is simply not sustainable forever, for it is based on urges and decisions that often lead to long-term pain. Nonetheless, I personally don’t expect a change soon.

Why Are You Doing This?

“How should I change to attract more women?” is a question that often finds itself in the head of the male. As always, the truth is on the other side of the bridge…the one requiring you to cross a fire.

The right question is – how should I change to become better and live a more fulfilling life?

Changing for women may start a transformation, but it cannot sustain it. As I told you in Potential, this is quick buck motivation – it starts the fire but doesn’t keep it. Long-term motivation requires a different mindset.

Besides, women come and go. You, on the other hand, never leave yourself. Build a castle for you, not for them. Otherwise, they will control you even more.

In other words, don’t do it for the girls. Do it for you.

Never forget that women often remain blind to the sacrifices you make for them.

When men decide to inject steroids to attract women, they are making a decision that will have a tremendous impact on their whole existence.

Don’t think for a second that some woman turned on by your muscles is capable of appreciating or understanding the work required to sculpt a high-end physique. She thinks you got there by playing on the monkey bars while drinking beer with your buddies.

Is the sacrifice worth it? Will the change be positive?

Who knows? Some may become the equivalent of a modern-day Arnold (unlikely) whereas others will remain fragile drama queens hiding behind a shield of muscle while trying to fix everything by upping the dose (likely).

“My arms are 16 inches now. I need to take them to 18, and the sluts will love me,” says the Dreamer.

Sure thing, bro. Two inches on your arms will fix every problem in your life.

The truth is that men use muscles and steroids to trick their minds into giving them confidence.

“I am big now,” says the Dreamer and walks as if he owns the metro station.

That same confidence could become a reality through other forms of work and validation that may be more beneficial in the end.

And what about her? What was she doing while HarryTheBicepsFlexKilla was waiting for her in the hug of the rain?

She was walking on the main street with steps full of hope and body language suggesting a rendezvous with a breathtaking experience.

Buzz-buzz-buzzzzzz….

Her phone vibrated and transmitted its movement to her skin and then into her heart. She reached into her pocket while her six sense was whispering “It’s him.” as if those vibrations contained a different kind of kinetic energy separating them from all other notifications.

She started the app and looked at the screen while filtering out the world around her.

“I’m here ;D,” had written Jeff – a tall, handsome, muscular specimen with magical blue eyes leading to another world – a world where she wanted to go.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” she wrote, and one of those grimaces that people acquire upon receiving the right words on their digital devices took over her face.

She was about to put back her phone when another message with the same content imported itself on her screen.

It was from Harry.

“Oh. I forgot to cancel with him,” she thought while muting his number with a detached expression.

Guilt? None. She was simply doing what was best for her. In her mind, she deserved it. She didn’t know why, but she knew that she did.

The problem for me is that when i express myself the way you do, people get the impression that i am a bitter little man and are usually quick to dismiss my arguments however well put they may be. What’s even more surprising is the certain men, who also experience the same and maybe worse, pretend that the truth you just spilled out simply is a projection of our bitterness and our so called sexism. It’s like a land of blind out there sometimes…

Do you know the feeling of having someone agree with you on every level on today’s societal structure? That’s dopamine.

Thank you sincerely for your work man.
You have guided me through certain dark times and inspired me to just be my best for my self.

Funny that online dating & testing yielded a much different world for me; increased arousal and anticipation, sexual escalation and improved opposite sex communication, timely and efficient filtering and “dating” (well stated in the article), and access to a plethora of women that I would have never had access to on an every day basis.

Regardless, online chat and networking is NEVER a substitute for real confidence, lingo and social skills, only a tool. That’s the difference.

Likewise I was at the age and mentality (late 20’s) that I never looked at woman’s sense of interest or attraction as a form of self validation or rejection, which really changed the dynamic of the situation. When you can take it or leave it, the exchange has a much different perception to a female who is not used to that kind of attention (or lack thereof), so looking back it strongly worked in my favor I believe.

In the end, it led me to a wonderful wife and two healthy and remarkable children, so all if good and well…and very worth it.

Men do need to some work on themselves by hang out with other people at least once a week. Lifting weights took appear bigger is icing on a cake. The cake is the person themselves. I focused too much on the icing at as a 31 year old frustrated after repeated dating failures I was convinced I would never find someone and still a virgin. I was still living with the folks eating Moms food getting big and strong in the gym, but felt miserable. A coworker invited me to Karaoke and it was rough at first singing with some older people, but I ventured to hang out with younger people in town and found myself in a Karaoke community of sorts at local bars. I started to relax and feel accepted and even experimented wearing clothes and singing off key that I thought I would have been rejected for and they still accepted me and validated me. My point is people need people and Karaoke helped me out for a season. It could be something different for others like a regular volunteer community, sci fi community, Sports Community or a House Church group, or whatever just as long as you’re hanging out with a group of people you see at least once a week. When that happens, not at first, but eventually you get more comfortable around people and more self-confident. It is building or Social/Personal confidence muscles that can be severely under trained in introvert lifters who don’t get out much. People get to know you and accept/respect you as a person based off your words and your actions around them. Women in particular notice this in men and visversa, we get to see a glimpse of each other’s characters. Just be yourself, because you want to be honest to those you might want to be in relationship with. I went to House Church six years ago and my wife to be was sitting on the bench with others and to this day she told me she was drawn to my confidence when I walked up and conducted myself with the others. I never saw myself as being confident that night or dressing up nice, but I do remember that I noticed her and just acted relaxed. Yes, having a job, your own place, your own car, muscle on your frame, being tall, etc… help alot, but if you’re on willing to hang out with other people and relax, it’s going to be even more of an uphill battle to find Miss Right.

the most important sentence: don´t build muscles for the girls. Congrats for this one sentence!!! It will not work. Do it for you. And if you should meet a girl who says: “I like you because your muscles are so big!” run away. As quick as possible.

“Dating apps, sites and their unofficial form known as social media gave women an opportunity to hurt an incredible amount of males (and females for the matter) directly and indirectly.”

This quote illustrates the fundamental problem with this article. It is written for a certain audience and where facts and logic are inconvenient, they are done away with completely. Plus it makes me question if the author has ever actually talked to a girl, or a woman IRL.

Social media may have empowered women (arguable, because it creates for them the same issues you outline with males, i.e. constantly competing against perfect physical specimens), but it has done the same for men. Several single guys I know, who are not conventionally good looking and have what we once would have referred to as “weak game”, use dating apps very effectively and are getting around 500% more attention from (relatively attractive) women than they ever did before. They will openly admit that Tinder is the best thing that ever happened to them.

In any instance, the number of Jeff Seids in real life is so low that it’s statistically irrelevant. Maybe you live in Hollywood or something and are crowded out of the dating pool by perfect male specimens. The reality of it is, if I go out on the street at watch couples walk by, in 8 out of 10 cases the guy will be with a girl who is at least 2 classes above him in the looks department. Maybe all these guys are wealthy hedge fund managers, but most likely not.

You have correctly identified part of the problem to be with low self-confidence in men. But you are incorrect in assuming that this is due to feminism. I don’t see how women refusing to date unattractive dudes makes them evil or radical. Many attractive women date men who are neither good looking nor socially influential.

Instead of becoming bitter and starting “to feel isolated, humiliated and misunderstood”, the natty male would be better off signing up for that dating app. Social media are a boon to gameless men.

I do agree that dating apps are great for people without game, but this can cause alot of frustration from many sour one dates and awkward short relationships for self-haters like me. We’ll I would admit that I am really self-critical and become paranoid about others being critical to me. That might be why just hanging out with people regularly was effective for me because it reduced my self-criticism when I realized the community I was hanging out with accepted me as I was. It became easier for me to meet women to include meeting my Wife in more open settings with other people. So I can see that people that don’t have game, but are relaxed and patient (with all the rejections) when going on their numerous online dates, they will find someone in time that way.

Yeah, truth seeker goes off the rails whenever he talks about dating and feminism. It’s scary how many people tell him how great he is after one of these articles. They’re the worst part of the site. The stuff he talks about in the essay isn’t even feminism. But whatever. And I don’t know what kind of women he’s chasing after or got shot down by, but there are plenty of down to earth women in the world. Jesus, my wife is leagues above me, looks-wise. And I get shown interest by pretty good-looking women pretty regularly, and I’m a short guy who only looks like he’s moderately in shape. I certainly don’t drive a Ferarri.

There are a lot of superficial people, but I feel bad for anyone who truly think that’s the extent of what is out there.

I understand what you mean, but I have explained my opinion in detail in the post itself. I can write more, but it will be too off topic. (This is not a website for dating discussions.)

Obviously, the Internet can produce happy couples too. I am not denying that. I’ve seen it happen.

However, I am personally against relying on some app to fix it all.

Sometimes you gotta sign off, put down the phone and do things the old fashioned way. Because if you count on the digital world to fix your lack of social skills, it will never happen. Sooner or later, you will have to face your fears.

I would rather meet someone through offline ways than count on swiping. Still, I am not saying that online dating is all bad.

Great article sir. From the bigger youtube stars the only one I’m thinking could be natural is Maxx Chewning, that is if you judge him purely on his physique, if you take into consideration his powerlifting numbers it gets tricky. Discus!

Hi TruthSeeker, most of what you have said is true. Personally I faced the same problems during my younger years. There are a few things I did to get off the loser cycle.

1) Drop off your female friends (and toxic male friends). I can talk about history, evolution, politics etc. for hours. I have never seen a woman capable of doing that. They are more into stupid TV shows and fashion. Trust me, I have learned the hard way.

2) Delete your social media accounts. All of them. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. If you are not making money out of them, then they are just a waste of time.

3) Improve with the right mindset. You are the most important thing in the world FOR YOURSELF. If you have a nasty toothache then you wouldn’t care about 40.000 people dying of starvation in China. If your father passes away, people around you might be sad but not as much as you. Put yourself first then help others. If you are at a sorry state yourself then you can not do anything for anyone anyway.

4) We want women. All healthy man wants women. But we don’t NEED them. So if you find a woman attractive by all means go after her. But don’t forget there are more than 3 billion of them.

5)Stop gaming and watching porn. I was a victim to both for 7 years. Don’t make the same mistake.

I have worked with many women, and I can undoubtedly say that not one of them has impressed me with her views or concepts. Most were very shallow, had a very weak frame and showcased a profound inability to see the bigger picture. Many were crypto-feminists too – victims of cultural hegemony and social media brainwashing.

The fact that we are becoming more visually-oriented is a natural byproduct of improved quality of life. People are no longer worried about the essentials – food, overwork, disease, etc., so there is now an opportunity to be more devoted to aesthetics.

People are not worried about the essentials? If that’s the case, why are 90% afraid to quite their jobs?

People have always loved aesthetics regardless of technology. The problem is, however, that the digital infrastructure created by the elite switched the focus to visual perception only – it’s not about who you are – it’s about who you appear to be online. Thus, the need to have a great profile picture and what not. People visiting your profile can’t see your heart – only your face.

I think you are painting this with far too wide a brush Truth Seeker. Over 90% of people work because they are ravenous consumers who want the latest gadgets and comfort toys of life; I have a hard time believing it’s for the bare essentials, especially when they have six figure incomes, because here in the US even the poorest and laziest people (largely thanks to social services and gov’t programs) can have a roof over their head and eat at Red Lobster.

And even with “financially elite” technological manipulation playing an active role, how is putting your best foot forward with a profile pic, in sharp clothes and a slick hairdo, a bad thing? If it’s a dating site, it should be expected; valuing the way you present yourself, and how to take care of yourself, is quite a look inside who you are as a person actually. So is taking pride in the shape you’re in…it’s not necessarily a bell weather for dysphormia, though I see what you’re saying as it always will apply in certain instances.

This rings back to another exchange we had in the comments section of previous article: A while back I commented on how you don’t need to be a super jacked or fit fitness model to be with the best women, and you commented on how “looks matter more than game”. However, everywhere I’ve been in the states I have not seen or experienced this to be the case at all…game trumps everything else (especially in the long run), and though you still have to have your physical act together (be in shape, be hygienic, etc.), the bodybuilder or fitness model look is largely unnecessary. And many articles, such as this one, seem to echo your previous assessment, which makes me think that you are largely basing this on a few social media channel personalities…and even those may be subject to question.

In summation, good aesthetics don’t hurt and can certainly help, but a great in shape and sharply dressed body, on maybe even a less than average face (namely for someone how has their personal act together), will take you a very long way in success both professionally and with women, and you don’t have to be a celebrity or trust fund brain child to capitalize on that.

1. Yes, people technically work to get more than the bare essentials, but we do it because the society judges you according to your possessions.

2. Trying to look good is fine. I am not against it. But living for your profiles only rarely leads to fulfillment.

3. Looks > Money/Status > Game

What is game really? A lame term describing communication between men and women.

Obviously, if you are good at communicating, it’s a plus, but no amount of communication will fix physical imperfections or an extremely low social status.

Game is extremely overrated and a borderline scam.

Tell me, what kind of game can a man who is 5’5″ tall play to get a woman that’s 6’1″ and richer than him? What are the magic words that this man should say?

Women spend their whole lives trying to look as good as possible – clothes, make-up, the gym, cosmetic procedures, surgeries…etc. This showcases how much importance they put in their appearance. In other words, they care about looks a lot.

The dating apps allowed women to get access to tons of handsome males. This coupled with a culture (TV shows, social media, books, movies, songs..etc.) telling women that being a whore is fine (you are just exploring your sexuality) broke the family, turned many women into sluts and created a generation of males posting sensitive posts on Facebook at 3.a.m. because some bimbo left them on “seen” without answering.

Truth Seeker you make some true and very valid points, but here is where we are stuck at the crossroads: “Game” is not pick-up lines and verbal communication – it’s “sexual communication” on a very deep and visceral biologically instinct level, and a nuke in the arsenal of attraction. Physicality is important but not the only game changer here.

And yes we can paint an argument of picking a very short and ugly man and pitting him against a Brad Pitt lookalike with jacked muscles, for attraction purposes, but we are sort of creating a strawman argument here; the playing field is seldom that screwed in one’s favor from what I’ve seen (though I’ve seen my fair share of shorter and all that handsome guys do well here, too).

And quick question: Ever read a typical “Dear Abby” article, fully illustrating a frustrated and beautiful woman, who is successful in life, having her environment poisoned by a low life loser with no job, no money, no looks, and even a possible drug problem? She writes in a “But I just can’t leave him” tone despite knowing that being with such a person conflicts with all logic, but emotionally and instinctively she is attracted and biologically attached to such an individual, despite the common sense to just leave and find a more suitable and successful mate. I’ve read dozens of these types of letters, and while the example is another opposite extreme of the argument, it shows how powerful biological and sexual attraction and “game” is.

Your comment on woman spending so much time preening and pruning themselves to perfection also supports what I’m saying; largely it shows that many women are so into their presentation and are so insecure about themselves in that regard that they are not paying nearly as much attention to your looks as you might imagine. In fact, not being so caught up in your appearance may be a pure refreshing breathe of air for her, and being cocky and funny (with apologies to David DeAngelo) goes a LONG way with this type of woman. It’s unmistakable real confidence, and is highly attractive to a woman who could only envy that she doesn’t sweat the small stuff as much as you do, and can laugh and feel comfortable in her own skin as she does when she’s with you. See what I’m getting at?

I think what skews this whole argument is that we are in the confines of a fitness community where there is always the caveat of the fitness element: People who are really into working out are into other people who are really into working out (though this can backfire in time, respectively). So the attraction to a like minded individual plays a big role here, though even this is a far cry from the roid-head picking up the girl because the crossfit guy isn’t jacked enough. There are preferential exceptions, of course, just like in everything else, but you get my point.

Perhaps a better example is this:

You have a juiced Adonis vs. a smaller but very sharply dressed equally tall fit guy, in the singles scene, who likewise has the lingo, sexual presence and is funny + has a stimulated attitude that women love to talk to. He can tease, escalate and arouse with sight and touch while the better physical specimen can do little but look pretty. He’s got “game”.

I don’t fully agree. Obviously, people always appreciated good aesthetics, but it was not a priority the way it is now.

For instance, in a poor country, people will value a person with a stable income far more than someone who is merely good-looking, but has no financial prospects. In wealthier countries where people have their basic essentials covered, wealth becomes less valuable since it offers diminishing returns (earning $200k/year vs. $70k/year does not offer a dramatic difference in quality of life).

Social media does exacerbate the problem, certainly, however, it did not create the trend.

Speaking of aesthetics, I was reading about how 50 years ago an American man who travelled to favelas in Brazil basically described the people as sickly, diseased looking dwarfs. Some of them had their eyes bulging out of their faces due to their completely inadequate diets. Back then, the poorest of the poor in Brazil were barely surviving.

Today, these same people, who are the poorest of the poor are for the most part far more physically intimidating than the average European or American.

Basically, I think you underestimate how much basic survival was a real struggle even 50 years ago.

I have no idea what are you talking about. The guys that are intimidating in Brazillian favelas are usually skinny and short, they are only intimidating because they are part of a criminal organization and have guns. This guys alone and unnarmed wouldn’t scare anyone.

‘Basically, I think you underestimate how much basic survival was a real struggle even 50 years ago.’
yes good point, children would fight over lunch boxes on their way to school back in the day
vs now
everybody can get fat, while being poor

Deep insight. I wonder if all these insights come from your experience.
I admit that I started all this for girls. But I changed, I do this for myself solely now, to push myself to my limit. Muscles and girls aren’t everything in life, only little part, and there are much more important things in life.

‘Do you know that feeling when nattyornot.com releases a new article or a book? That’s dopamine.’
It’s always nice to read your articles, Truth Seeker.

Hey guys! I’m a girl. And I usually use the social media as a tool for my intimate relationship experiences. I think it’s normal but also cruel for every man who tries to fit into the “normal” relationships. And also I noted that girls who used the same tricks as me are also with instability couples. I’m trying to explain a lot of things but I’m on a trip now. The point is that we won’t have solutions to fix this. We screwed the romantics and we are just playing a boring game. I Think the game will end with loneliness.

Good article.
A problem that social media caused is that people don’t use e-mail that often anymore.
It also makes that they don’t tend to respond to e-mail.
Another consequence is that people don’t like to read much. They only respond to short messages. It’s like they have never time to read a longer e-mail.
People younger than 25 even prefer to communicate by social media. Why is it so important that it has to be trough a 3th party that collect user information? Don’t they care about privacy?

He Truth Seeker, salute from the Netherlands. Interesting article. Your 20:1 ratio for men and women online is wrong I think. I think you are referring to research on dating websites where equally attractive men and women were testing the other sex, to see how frequent a female ’10’ and a male ’10’ would be contacted. The popular female got 20 times more messages than the most attractive man (looks, money status, the whole deal). The inbox/software of the female ’10’ eventually crashed after thousands of messages of real men… Another side personal observation: I dated this year via a website. If you are quite attractive to women, you can get mixed results: some women start stalking, gaslighting, shit testing you on your phone, others will ignore you. The woman I dated told me I have a nice looking body, like I lift a bit. One of the first things she did after we had sex, was show me a picture on her phone of a male real steroid user. Posing in contest shape. She said, I know this guy, he looks great and it is all natural… 😉

Interesting article, I enjoyed it. I had a case of the big muscles fix all things, especially my lack of confidence. I eventually faced my fears, read self help books, took martial arts for years and focused on improving myself and my career. I gave up bodybuilding. It promised so much and gave so little back. My main point is bodybuilding is a thinly veiled disguise for low self esteem in many cases. It covers up fears but not in a meaningful way. Do some self reflection, develop a plan to face each fear, get support from a group (like recovery international) or a therapist or martial arts instructor. Be patient with yourself and endorse yourself for the effort, not the outcome. Finally develop some spiritual practice, life is short and looking in the mirror all the time is no way to live. The happiest people serve others.

I agree to you, John. Many lifters start BB to improve their self confidence. I think it’s nothing wrong with this. Many start because they think they could pick up girls easier. Maybe they are successful. Maybe not. As long as people don’t start to think that lifting is a remedy for every pain, a substitute for everything what goes wrong in their lifes lifting is o.k. The problems start when people are mystifying BB. When they entering a dreamworld. When they are loosing a realistic view of what lifting weights is about. If your one and only desire is to build muscles something went wrong. At the age of 21 I came to this point. I was very self centered and I realized that I was addicted to BB. I stopped to train from one day to the other to get my head free of it. BB should be fun. If you are most of the time unhappy that you want more muscles and can’t get it better stop for a while. Getting (relatively) strong and very fit and looking better then before it’s all you expect. Have fun and be happy with what you can get. That’s all. If one expects more BB is a very effective way to get unhappy and waste ones time in a gym.

Love your website. I bought into all the PUA and red pill shit and bodybuilding etc at a young age after being a nerdy guy for a while. But I got myself a nice sweet girl from Asia and I just stay fit by running and stuff now. It was great finding your website to see I’m not alone in seeing how things are especially feminism and western women