The
last rays of sun were leaving the room as we lay comfortably on the
bed. The careless day was something that all three of us needed. The
promised trip to the park was well welcomed and enjoyed.

Ripley
had been surprised to see me there this morning. Her overjoyed
attitude stayed with all of us all day. She didn't want me to let
her go and if I did, she didn't want me out of her sight. She was
used to Ashley leaving. The young girl grew up with her gone most of
her life. Yet, when I came into her life I never once left. Instead,
I was the parent who was constant with her. It must have stunted her
when I never came home one night.

When
we arrived back from the park, our bellies full from the spontaneous
picnic we had feasted on while sitting underneath a large willow
tree, we went straight into our bedroom and collapsed onto the bed.
Here we are, three happy girls lying next to each other.

A
family.

It
didn't take too long for Ripley to drift off asleep. I kissed her
forehead before turning around and looking at Ashley. The twilight
behind her created a hue of light that made her look heavenly. She
was this beautiful, strong, and amazing woman. I was entirely too
lucky to have her in my life let alone to be my love.

I
was thankful for all the gifts that God has given me, but at this
very moment I was thankful for Ashley Davies' patience. She has
shown me nothing but an amazing effort of patience. From my ability
from not being able to hear to the need to be alone to deal with the
death of our two sons, she has shown me an abundant amount of
patience…and love.

I
knew that there was so many things that we still had to work through.
Our children had been born dead. That was a huge thing that we had to
work through. I knew that my way at dealing with things weren't
exactly the best, but at the time it was what I needed. It was the
only thing I knew how to do anyway. That is no excuse, but was what I
did and I knew that I couldn't redo that.

Instead,
now we have to work out everything. It wasn't from scratch though.
No, we were a little ways past that. Instead, we were at a crossroad.
We were at the point where dealing with death was going to hit us
full throttle soon, but we were stronger then it. Instead of the last
month, only having ourselves, we have each other to deal with it.
That is what really mattered, that we are going through this
together.

The
grasp around my waist became tighter and pulled me in closer to her
warm body. I smiled softly, knowing that this is where I belong, and
cuddled in closer to her body. I felt her hand come into my view and
turn my chin slightly so I could see her as she spoke to me. Our
slight movement caused Ripley to squirm around and settle into the
curve of my back.

"Hello,"
Ashley said softly to me.

I
smiled playing along, "Hello to you."

She
leaned forward and placed a small kiss on my cheek, lingering there
for a second before pulling back. "I've missed this," she
confessed.

I
nodded my head and moved the stray piece of chestnut hair behind her
ear. "Me too."

Her
eyes grew softer and with a glassy glaze of sadness. Her face was
pained, "When you left me I felt like I lost three of my loves. I
hurt too."

My
heart broke in a million little pieces and if it wasn't for her
being there I would have thought I would have lost all those pieces
and faded away into nothingness.

She
was as hurt as I was and I only caused her more pain. My deep sorrow
and apologies mean the world and she knows how sorry I am, but saying
it over and over won't help.

No,
that won't help.

Instead
I took her hand and signed, "F-O-R-E-V-E-R."

It
was a promise I would always keep.

bThree
Months Later/b

The
table was a scene of laid back and carefreeness. I watched with
loving eyes as my family laughed over a story my father was telling
in his usual eye-catching and interesting nature. I looked around at
the many faces of the people who I have grown to love laugh with such
easiness.

Our
bellies were full and our hearts were warmed with the vibrant love
that we were sending to each other unconsciously. This kind of energy
was palpable and visual, this kind of energy was the pure love that
people talk about. It was in it's purest form through smiles,
laughter, soft glances, and caring words.

"So,
when we walked out of the store Ripper looked up at me and said,"
Dad explained as he glanced over at the little beauty who had rest
her head against my chest. She smiled over at Dad but dared not move.
Her little tummy was full from all the food and I softly rubbed tinny
circles to help sooth her. "'Poppy...why is boys so darn hairy?'
I swear, I couldn't stop laughing when she said that!"

The
table burst out in laughter and I smiled over at Ashley who was
laughing freely. The huge smile on her face was comforting and made
my heart skip beats. We have had a tough last three months, but we
were dealing very well. We had mostly kept to ourselves, still made
small visits to Kyla and Aiden's but we thought we needed to get
our family back on track first. This dinner was the first in a very
long while.

It
felt good.

Ripley
furrowed her eyebrows at everyone and I watched her lips as she
spoke, "Wot? They ahre!"

We
all broke out in huge, from our belly laughter and the small girl
folded her arms over each other and pouted. The adorable connection
between mother and daughter could automatically be connected. Her
tiny nose scrunched up and her big brown eyes stared at everyone with
such a convincing sadness. Her bottom lip stuck out and with her hair
down framing her small angelic face, she looked like the tiny version
of Ashley.

I
kissed her forehead, "Oh, butterfly, I know they are. I mean, look
at Glen's face."

This
caused a laugh to erupt from the tiny body and from the other people
around the table. Aiden had to hand Mare over to Kyla because he
began to choke on his drink. The tall man stood up and held his side.

Glen
looked over at him, "Pfft, a real man's hairy! They don't shave
every inch of their body like someone we know." He glared at the
laughing man.

Kyla
smiled slyly at Glen, "Hehe, who says he shaves himself?"

Ashley's
eyes got huge, "Oh My God! Ky!"

I
shook my head at them but continued to watch the bickering.

All
I hear was nothingness. No sound dares penetrate my senses and I have
no idea what their voices consist of. I do know how the sound
penetrates my heart. I can feel it and see it and experience full
force.

I
have been gifted by God by my loss of sound.

Then,
when everyone stops their laughing and the table becomes motionless I
know that I am also cursed. Someone said something that caused the
easiness and the laughter to fade into something deeper and intense.

I
looked around, "What?"

No
one spoke, no one dare to speak.

The
perfect night was at stake and what they didn't know was that it
would continue to be perfect if we were just all here together.

I
looked from Mom and Dad, each sitting at the end of the table. Dad
sat strong but his face was pensive. Mom looked down at the table and
wiped at the small tear in her eye. My brothers just looked down at
the table not knowing where else to look. Kyla held a sadness in her
gaze as she held Mare closer to her, cradled her in the way a mother
would hold to her child. Aiden glanced over at Kyla and Mare and
then met Ashley's glossy eyes. Ripley looked around bewildered.

She
looked up at me, "Mama, wot I say?"

I
looked down at her and then over at Ashley. Her side swop of red hair
falling into her face, covering the small trail of tears. She reached
for my hand and I quickly took it.

"Nothing
baby," Ashley smiled sadly at Ripley. "It's just makes us all
sad when you mention your brothers."

My
eyes fell and a deep sadness fell deep into the pits of my stomach. I
kissed Ripley's forehead and held her close trying to fill the
whole in my heart of my two dead sons who never had the chance to
breathe life.

Ripley's
big brown eyes looked up into mine, "'m sawry Mama. I just said I
wrish dey were hwere. Dey wood of wuved us."

I
smiled sadly at her, adoring her child like nature. "They would
have, baby, and we would have loved them."

She
nodded her tiny head, brown locks falling everywhere.

"Spencer,"
Kyla looked at me with glossy tears on her cheeks. "We lost them
too."

That
one sentence reached my heart and twisted it with intense
understanding. I have only been thinking about myself. Then I have
been focusing on trying to heal Ashley and my pain. I never really
thought past the fact that Kyla and Aiden was mourning also. They
also lost two sons. My parents lost two grandsons.

I
didn't think about my family and their lost.

Ashley
squeezed my hands and I smiled sadly at her. I looked around at my
family and smile sadly at them. "I know," I whispered sadly. "I
know."

Ashley
pulled softly at my hand and spoke, "We all lost them...but we have
each other."

I
grinned at her and met everyone's eyes.

"We
have each other," I repeated to myself.

We
all would get through this.

bFive
Years Later/b

We
stood at the edge of the beach as the tide came up and rose to our
bare feet. I wiggled my toes in the wet sand, feeling the freedom of
happiness wash over me. I looked over at her and smiled brightly,
cocking my head to the side. Her soft hand came in contact with mine
and she held it up to her lips. Her light caress with her lips made
my heart flutter.

After
all these years, she still makes my heart skip beats.

She
pointed over at the scene before us. Only five feet ahead of us,
three children played happily in the sand. There lips moving in an
unknown language of communication that only the close siblings share.
Their skin was all sunkissed from the many hours spent outside. They
faces all held smiles and laughter that would carry on with them
throughout their years.

They
were happy children, the perfect children.

As
the light blow of the wind kissed Ashley and my skin, it blew at the
children's hair. The small girl, bigger than the two boys but still
tiny in her own, hair was a deep shade of reddish brown. She brought
her hand up to her face trying to fight her away of her face. A look
of frustration shown on the seven year old's face as she stood up
and came running over to Ashley and I.

She
signed at me with a pout, "Mama, can you put my hair up?"

I
nodded my head and told her to turn around. I combed my hand through
her hair and brought it into a pony tail. She turned around and
thanked me before running back to the scene with her two smaller
brothers.

I
turned to Ashley, "This is perfect."

She
nodded her head, "It is, isn't it?"

"Mhm,
it truly is."

She
looked back over at our three children before putting a hand on her
own protruding stomach, "Our boys came back to us, and look at me
now. Spencer Davies, you must learn how to use protection."

I
bursted out in laughter. I sure know how to pick 'em.

I
glanced at her and bent down onto my knees. Putting my ear to her
stomach I whispered up to her, "I think I rather like you this
way."

The
tight skin over her beautiful bare stomach was smooth against the
side of my face. I felt the thumping of the tiny being inside her
kicking softly at my cheek. Already a smart child at such a young
age. I wonder who they would take after. I wonder what they would
look like. I wonder if they would be born close with the three older
ones. I wonder who they would be come.

I
felt a tiny tap on my shoulder and turned around at my three angels
standing there smiling at me. Ripley stood behind the two identical
boys. Their hazel colored eyes smiled widely at me. I smiled and
smoothed back both of their hair that was held back in a long pony
tail. As much as Ripley was the copy of Ashley, the boys were the
copies of me. I smiled at their childish faces as one spoke and
signed. Ashley doesn't seem to let the fact that their signing is
better than their English. They would much better communicate with
their own language that only Ripley could understand with them.

"Mama,
we hwear?" Ackley asked.

I
nodded my head as I stood up next to my wife. The three children
crowded around her stomach, finding small spaces to lay their hears
and listen to their little baby communicate back to their whispers.
Ripley bent up and looked at us with a heart warming smile on her
face. I remember the first time she ever laid her ear against my own
stomach, informing me that my two boys weren't ready to come to us
just yet. My heart almost froze at her look, but her eyes help pure
joy.

It
would all be all right.

We
were all right.

We
were perfect.

I
clasped Ashley's hand in mine once more. I leaned over and placed a
soft kiss on her lips.

This
was our life, this was our happiness. We created a beautiful home
with three, almost four, beautiful children.

Ackley
and Hunter were two beautiful and intelligent three year olds. Their
personalities were of two old spirits with child like charms. I woke
up amazed, everyday, at being a mother to my children. I enjoyed
being able to be home with my children, and being able to pick up a
wonderful future in writing also. I enjoyed seeing my beautiful wife
everyday, spending our days on the beach inspiring each other. I love
the fact that I have an endless supply of love in my life.

I
smiled as I caught a glint of our family making their way down to the
beach from our home. Mom and Dad, happy as can be, walking ahead of
everyone as their three grandchildren caught sight of them and took
off running to them. I laughed as Hunter feel into the sand but
quickly jumped up and continued with his brother and sister.

Kyla
and Aiden were behind them. Ashley Nicole, as she liked being called
now, walked proudly in the middle of them. Her long brown curls
hanging down her back as she carried herself with a since of knowing
who she was. She looked exactly like her mother with small hints of
her father, but she thrived on the thought of being just like her
hero. The person of her namesake. Sitting proudly on Aiden's
shoulders was the laughing two year old. Their son, Addison, beamed
strongly from his father's shoulders as Ackley and Hunter ran past
their beaming Nana to their 'Papa'. It amazes how close our
families are, but I am happy at the closeness. I am happy that my
children are fortunate enough to have two sets of parents.