How to make a milk jug with ordinary materials found in your house

Ever feel like you just need a milk jug? If so, you are not alone. And because you are reading this, you are in luck. You can actually make your own milk jug out of ordinary materials found in the average household,1 and at little to no cost. Follow these easy steps and you’ll be on your way to the perfect milk jug to satisfy your every need.

Materials

You’ll need a bicycle pump, an old plastic container, and at least one pair of hands; these can be your own or someone else’s (preferably connected to a head and body).

The Steps

1. First, find an old plastic container such as a milk jug. This can often be found in the so-called recycling bin in your house. If you don’t know where the recycling bin is—almost every house in the First World has one nowadays—try looking near the trash can, in the garage, under the bathtub, etc. If you don’t see an old milk jug in it now, check again in a few days or a week; it’s almost sure to show up. And if the one you find looks damaged, smashed, or dented, don’t worry—we’ll be fixing that in a later step.

2. Remove the container from the recycling bin.

NOTE: The next step is the most important, do not omit it.3. Place the container on a table and examine it closely. Ponder it for a few minutes. Think about the essence of the milk jug, and try to imagine this container as a milk jug. This will psyche you up for the rest of the process.

4. Because of the inherent danger of this step, it’s a good idea to have a young child help you here. Place the container on the floor next to the bicycle pump and have a helper hold the tube end of the pump in the top of the container. With the other hand, he should pump vigorously so as the re-inflate the container, making sure that all the dents are removed. If you are photographing this step, be sure to remove the lens cap. You may want to use the “n-up” setting for split-second timing, in case there’s an explosion.

5. Once the bottle looks good and new, place it on the table again. Photograph as usual, and you have a brand new milk jug, made entirely from materials already in your house! You just saved a couple of pounds!

Your brand new finished Milk Jug.

If you don’t have an average household, check with your neighbour. The average neighbour usually has an average household. ↩