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Any tips for the first couple of weeks?

I"m booked in for a C section next Wedneday (26th January). Arghghghg.

It's very weird to get my head around the fact I"ll be bringing home two little girls in just over a week's time so I'm trying to break it down into 2 week sections to get through in my head, if that makes sense! So. I'd really like some tips on how to get through the first two weeks without breaking them or having a nervous breakdown.

I have no idea what to do with them once I get them home although I'm pretty sure I"ll won't be doing much else but feeding. Feeding is the thing that's worrying me most. Will I be able to tandem feed straight away? (hahaha...I think i'm very idealistic about this one!) Has anyone started off mix feeding? Should I not introduce the bottle (expressed) at all at this stage due to nipple confusion? (I was hoping my partner could do the dream feed) Should I insist that the midwives don't give them formula in hospital? Should I bathe them in the first week? How can I stay sane as well on no sleep? When can I take them out? These are the questions that are whirling around my mind at the moment. Any tips would be welcome.

I am sorry I can't offer you any advice on the feeding of twins, having only had the one...but I didn't want to read & run. I can say though, don't worry about the first few weeks as they fly by! I am assuming that you will be in hospital for several days after the delivery & hopefully the staff at the hospital will be able to help you get to grips with the feeding & may even help you give them their first bath. When you get home, if they have been bathed you won't really need to worry about bathing them again for quite some time, by which time you will be really wanting to attempt the bath situation.

I too wanted to know how soon I could go out with the babies but in reality, once I got home, there was never an opportunity to go out really until he was around 2 weeks old & that was with one baby. There are that many visitors including midwives & Health Visitors that your feet don't touch the ground just getting through the needs of you & the baby/babies each day. I believe its fine for babies to be out & about almost as soon as they are born but it is the mother who needs to take some time to help prevent infection & over exertion.

I bet you are sooo excited now. Being a mummy is the best thing in the world & you are going to be one two times over, so twice the joy. I am sure some twinnie mummies will be dropping by soon to offer their experiences which will be more relevant.

Hi Aramass - it's so close now!! I was so nervous when I was at your stage all the same questions floating around! The truth is, nothing can really prepare you and it really is best just to go with the flow. Everyone is different and has different experiences - you just have to suss out what's best for you and your girls at the time. I had no particularly strong views on breast feeding vs formula - babies don't mind where their milk comes from and either way they will grow and thrive.

A lot of my feeding experience started off with the midwives in the hospital - I was lucky enough to have an old school midwife who confidently started me off tandem feeding pretty much on day 1. Yes, you can feed them together, but it does require another pair of hands to get you set up and the babies handed to you. I had pillows piled round me so once I was in the right position I couldn't reach the babies alone. You will also be quite sore after the c-section (but not unbearable).

You may find both babies latch straight away, one does but one doesn't or they both just don't take to it. One of my little ladies didn't latch straight away and so was cup-fed formula by one of the staff - but we still attempted to latch her onto the breast beforehand. Both ladies lost over 10% bodyweight so it was recommended that they had formula top-ups. So, we had the very tiring combination of breastfeeding and formula feeding each feed - double the work and double the time! DH and I couldn't easily get to grips with the recommended cup feeding and the thought of doing that 3 times in the night wasn't appealing, so we made the decision to try them with a bottle the night we got home from hospital. My ladies certainly didn't seem confused and continued to breastfeed just as well. For me it was more important that they did bottlefeed as I wanted to share feeding with DH and other relatives so I had the flexibility of a break.

I didn't have the time to learn to express in those early days. It can take a while to get to grips with is and it is difficult to carve time out - so don't put any pressure on yourself. There you will be feeding them every 3 hours at first, including feeding, nappy and clothes changes it can take up to an hour and a half per feed. The time is calculated from the beginning of the feed, so that leaves an hour and a half before the next feed. The more pairs of hands the better and the best thing that DP can do will be nappy changing and clothes changing.

We bathed ours in week two - they didn't really need it beforehand. I just felt an overwhelming desire to clean them!!

You can't stay sane on no sleep! You need to be ruthless and get as much rest as possible and snatch sleep in short chunks. This is where I found having someone else do the feeding to be a real saviour. I skipped the afternoon breast feed so I could leave DH/Grandma/Aunty to bottle feed - this way I got 3-4 hours of time where I could try to sleep and it got me through the night. It's hard - but you will get through it! Don't be a martyr, ask for help and don't expect to be super-woman. Get plenty of ready meals in the house, soup and bread, lots of snacks to feed your visitors - anything you can quickly prepare to eat. Don't even worry about housework. Laundry is the only thing you really won't be able to ignore. You will be amazed at the amounts

The best advice is just relax and use your intuition. Everyone will have different advice for you and you can worry yourself sick that you're doing something wrong or failing them. Relax and enjoy your beautiful little miracles, as long as they are fed and cuddled and you are fed, watered and well-rested nothing else matters.

Wishing you lots of luck

PS: We found coming home from the hospital with ours so overwhelming...we left them in their car-seats, made a cuppa and just stared at them for about an hour

You mentioned the dream feed, you'll be feeding on demand so I wouldn't worry about that right now. My LO didn't need a dream feed so I wouldn't think about that too much just yet. Every baby is different.

You will be doing lots of feeding but the only advice I can give is to go with the flow. You will get help in hospital with breastfeeding and they will help you to look after your LO's although you will be required to do the majority of the looking after.

After I gave birth I was so exhausted and O wouldn't feed so I let them take her to the nurses station and give her formula with a cup to allow me to have a bit of sleep.

Lynne is right, you will have midwives and health visitors coming to see you not to mention family and friends.

You will get sleep. You will find that during the first week all they will do is feed and sleep and feed some more and then sleep for a bit and then feed again.

Just don't expect too much of yourself or them, you are both going to be learning and adjusting.

Should I not introduce the bottle (expressed) at all at this stage due to nipple confusion? (I was hoping my partner could do the dream feed)

It very much depends on your feelings and how much you want to breastfeed. Some women want to breastfeed exclusively and will be gutted if they have to resort to bottles. Some want to give breastfeeding a good go and will try for a certain amount of time and some aren't really bothered either way. All are fine, you just need to know which category you fall into so that you get the right advice. If you really want to succeed then you're going to need a lot of support. If you really aren't that bothered then that support will feel like pressure.

Your milk can take several days to come in and during that time it's important to put your babies to the breast as frequently as possible to stimulate the process. Until the point where your milk comes in your babies will suckle and suckle to get what they need, pumping to express will probably give you nothing or very little. By the time you've sterilised the equipment and had a go the babies will be wanting a feed, after they've fed you'll have nothing left to pump and the cycle will start again. If you can avoid expressing at this stage then do. I

You produce the essential milk producing hormones during the night so it's doubly important that you feed throughout the evening and the night to increase your milk so if you want to successfully breastfeed then it's quite important to do the night feeds yourself.

Nipple confusion is a term often used, what actually happens is that a breastfed baby uses her jaw and tongue to compress the breast and milk it. The milk comes out slowly at first then quicker and then slower again. The milk sometimes comes out in several jets and at points, baby has to work fairly hard to feed. Bottles usually have a single hole and the the baby can use the front part of the mouth and tongue to suck the milk out. It's much easier for baby to feed and the technique is very different. Putting a baby back to the breast after a bottle can therefore be frustrating for the baby, leading to fractiousness at the breast which many women believe relates to her own milk supply or her baby's preference for formula milk. In reality, it's just frustration that one meal's easy to eat and the other takes more time and effort. Few women give up the bottle, most give up the breast.

Oh hon, You sound just like me!!! I could have written your post. My c-section is in 2 days and the closer it gets the more scared I am. I have no idea what I am doing!!!!! I can't wait to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling, but at the same time worried what exactly what will replace it....

As i have always said through the IVF process, take one day at a time. i think i may have to do that for the next 18 years also!! I'm trying not to have any expectations. I know I will be busy, especially when DH goes back to work in the UK after just 2 weeks , but i have a great support network and all you can do is do your best. I have no idea what I am doing either. You are not the only one. How bout we both just make it up along the way? We will be just fine hon.

P.s - I know I won't (can't) demand feed my twins on my own. I will try and get them in a routine ASAP or I will be so tired that I will be no good to either of them. Talking to alot of multiple mums, they have all suggested a routine, otherwise you will be up at all different times during the day and night. It makes sense in my head now. Ask me in 2 weeks time and I may possibly think differently! As i said, one day at a time......

Plenty to say, but in the midst of a work crisis and been up most of the night with sick Lottie, so can't now. If you still have my emails you'll find my mobile on the bottom, and I'd be happy to chat to you one evening.

There is a post in the multiples section from Roxy about breastfeeding twins. Its well worth a read, and should help you decide whether to aim for exclusive BF or work on Plan B. Mine did get exclusive breast milk for about 10 weeks, but the situation was different because mine were in hospital for the first 3 weeks, so I was not looking after them and had time to get my milk established through a breast pump.

Number one tip: once you're home, no visitors except the people you really want around you, who you can whip your top off in front of, and who will do anything you need them to do. Next, you concentrate solely on looking after your LOs, sleep when they sleep and have someone else on hand to do absolutely everything else (i.e. cooking, shopping, cleaning). That is my tip for getting through the first 2 weeks.

When we brought A home, we tried to carry on as we had been doing that first night. The baby went down to sleep and we sat up watching a film until 2:30am! We should have been in bed given how unwell I was and how tired we both were.
We soon caught on though.

Another thing was that we got home Friday evening and Saturday morning we had relatives over to visit which was a bit too much, especially when I was trying to get feeding established. A was awake all night feeding and was sleeping when they arrived and so when DH said they couldn't hold her, they were miffed and that put me on edge even more.
I had to keep leaving the room to feed and my Mum kept wandering in and out of my bedroom which I didn't mind, but she kept leaving the blood y door open and my bedroom is just across from the bathroom and you also have to pass it to get to the front door. This added more stress which we could have done without.

I would worry if I hadn't washed and dressed by a certain time in case anyone came to the door and that was just plain silly I realise now. Yes, I liked to have a bath or shower before the mw examined me but other than that, you shouldn't have to be under pressure.

I know everyone is excited about a new baby but at the same time, you do need a couple of days just to find your feet.
If people do insist on coming - get them to make their own tea, ask them to do something for you - when my sister arrived, I got her to change my bed and put some washing away.

I used to wonder at those passing my window who were wahed dressed and with pram AND older child walking to school before 9am! You get better and better at leaving the house earlier as time goes on but for the first wee while, it will probably be after 12pm before you get out anywhere,x

2nd ICSI March 2009
4 Top Grade 1 Frosties in Waiting for next time! My Diary

You have been given loads of useful advice so I don't want to overwhelm you! Would def agree with some of the others that I would limit the number of visitors,and also I found it really useful to have a few days at home before letting people come round.I hadn't really seen my eldest DD for 9 days and it was more important to spend time with her then entertaining!

I found a routine so useful but couldn't really get one going until the twins were about 10 weeks old,for me it saved my sanity but you maybe more relaxed about things like that! When I was in hospital I had a lot of visitors and anyone who came helped feed and change nappies.

Sleep deprivation is so tough and speaking on a personal note me and DH did have a lot of arguments! I know it was because we were both so tired ,but try if you can to look after yourselves too.

If any one offers ANY help take it,and if any one offers any cooked food take it! We didn't get any nice meals cooked for us but if any friends have any babies I will def make them a lasage or something!

We had a swing chair and it was really useful( one twin in the chair and one of us holding the other), so at least we could each have a cooked meal,albeit in shifts.

I'm not sure when you can take them out,mine were a little prem and small so we were told to be careful,but like the others say you will be so busy,it'll probably be a week or so(or longer!) before you feel up to it,and then one of them will do an explosive poo just as you want to leave

Good luck,you will be fine.It may feel overwhelming at times but does get easier.

Wow! Ten replies already! Thank you so much for this ladies. I think 'go with the flow' really shines through all of this as does limit the number of visitors especially the ones who I don't want to wop my boobies out in front of! This advice is brilliant and I shall be sifting through it slowly and hoping it all sinks in.

Regarding breastfeeding. I aim to give it a go. I'd like to be able to feed them as long as I can but I don't want to end up being sectioned as a result! I have all the stuff ready to make it successful but I know that things don't always work out according to plan.

Another questions: what are newborns doing when they aren't sleeping or feeding? If I"m feeding one, what will the other be doing?

NW: thank you for your offer. Let me know when a good time is to speak to you. Sorry to hear poor Lottie is sick and that you are having a work crisis as well. Not what you need on a Monday morning. x

My only advice would be to enjoy them.. the time flies so quickly and I always said to myself no matter how stressful it felt, I wouldn't let it get to me and I'd just concentrate on getting through the next feed / change etc.

Once home, we went to demand feeding, but after first baby is fed, changed and settled, we wake the other, so 80% of the time, mine are half an hour apart.. the other 20% when they tag team me, I sit on the floor with quite a few pillows (I'm not bf) and do the best I can.. which usually includes singing some rather strange songs to them..

The other thing I would add is don't be too desperate to leave hospital. We were in there 11 days for other reasons, but that time was the best thing ever for me. Although by about day 4, I was doing all of the care of the babies myself, it gave me the confidence that I could do this on my own (but knew the midwives were there if I needed them) Mr Bouncy went back to work the day after we came home and with no family near us, I spent the next two days completely on my own, but it wasn't difficult at all..

You can do it, just go with the flow.. get sleep when you can, and get used to cold drinks and food.. :-)

Obviously I don't have twins but I would recommend that you do an online food shop before the babies arrive. It's much quicker to repeat an online order than it is to start from scratch and having it delivered is much less stressful than going to the supermarket with 2 small children. Order plenty of things that you can eat straight from the cupboard like fruit loaf and bananas.

I have no idea what to do with them once I get them home although I'm pretty sure I"ll won't be doing much else but feeding

When we walked through the door, we popped the car seats (with babies in) on the sofa for the dogs to sniff them out.... Then we picked them out of the car seat and walked around the house showing them each room It was a bit weird! I think my mum made us all a cup of tea and we just held them and watched them!

Feeding is the thing that's worrying me most. Will I be able to tandem feed straight away? (hahaha...I think i'm very idealistic about this one!)

I didn't try to tandom feed at hospital, I foudn it too difficult, even with all the cushions/pillow aids etc. however once home and more relaxed tandem feeding was definitely started early. The community midwives really helped and once they'd seen me feed the babies individually and give guidance on the best feeding position for both (they didn't feed at all in the same way) then tandem feeding became easier. You may find they don't wake for/want feeding at precisely the same time anyway and tandem feeding won't always be necessary. As time went on and mine were mainly bottle fed and I was on my own more, then I bottle fed them together, even up until a month ago. It is SUCH a time saver and definitely something I would suggest you do.

I introduced formula after about a week I think but continued expressing/bf just before they were four months. I wouldn't try and predict what you'll be doing, just see how it goes. I know plenty of mums with twins who have solely breast fed and some totally formula fed. What works for you is the right choice and you'll only know this once you have the babies with you.

Should I not introduce the bottle (expressed) at all at this stage due to nipple confusion?

I introduced a bottle (with expressed milk) very early on, i think they were about three days old. I'd had a bad start to feeding (many reasons) and the babies were losing weight. They both took the bottle very easily but I never found it interfered with breastfeeding either. That was my own experience though and perhaps not a common one.

Having help with feeding at any time of the day/night will be fantastic for you. My DH was a great help and my mum was around for a lot of the time in the early weeks too. They would feed the babies late at night and my DH often would feed them on his own in the middle of the night too. if you can skip a feed to get a proper rest, you will feel a million dollars for it. If you're breastfeeding then not always possible but again, you'll only find this out once you start feeding and working out what works for you all.

Should I insist that the midwives don't give them formula in hospital?

Absolutely! They're your babies and you should be the one to say what they get fed. I struggled to get the babies latching on in the first couple of days at the hospital and started expressing into a syringe or a small cup and feeding that to the babies so there was no need for formula.

No need. Just top and tail them (wash face and bottoms!) You need to keep their cord stump as dry as possible as well which is why bathing isn't such a good idea! Fold the nappy over underneath it to keep it away from wet nappies.

You'll be surprised! I remember having got up to feed the babies in the middle of the night, then putting them back to sleep and then washing the kitchen floor!! i was buzzing in those first few weeks but the tiredness does creep on you and i do think i overdid it. Plus as your babies grow, your body will need more rest. When i got to about 6-10 weeks I was physically pooped and even if i got a good 4 hour chunk of sleep, i always got out of bed like an old woman!

As far as the babies are concerned, whenever! As far as youo're concerned, perhaps a bit of a rest first! You will be very sore for a number of days and feel a bit vulnerable for about two weeks though everyone is different. Do try and keep mobile as it will help your recovery but perhaps just keep this to inside the house!

As BT said, enjoy the babies and those first scary exciting terrifying precious few days/weeks. It's an amazing time, you'll be overwhelmed with emotions but it's all good. Take advice when you want but your instinct will be the best guide. Of course don't forget to come on here with any seemingly ridiculous questions - we've all been there!!

p.s. Another questions: what are newborns doing when they aren't sleeping or feeding? If I"m feeding one, what will the other be doing?

Not a lot! We had a baby gym which they'd lie under for their waking hours and they'd generally just watch the world, their hands/arms etc. The entertaining bit doesn't really come until after 6 weeks or so and even then they don't need much!

If you're feeding one and the other one hasn't been fed, there's a good chance that there'll be crying involved

Thanks again ladies. This is such brilliant advice. I love it. It's made me feel slightly more confident. Thanks for finding the time to do this.

Duffymoon: YOur advice on feeding is really informative. When you say bottle fed, do you mean formula or expressed? I'm confused by what 'bottle fed' actually means. I'm very relieved by you saying that they can do both breast and bottle.

I'm very relieved by you saying that they can do both breast and bottle.

Yes they "can" do both but that's not to say all babies are the same.

I was extremely naive when it came to feeding and didn't appreciate that it would take time to get familiar with what worked for each baby. My DD was easy to latch and went for it big time, DS was a bit slower, and almost too gentle! The community midwives were a terrific help and very hands on but you just let them get on with it. When DS was struggling with bf, my mw essentially said he needs milk, give him a bottle. I'd been manually expressing but they said to use the pump which I did and carried on feeding with a cup and then when I was expressing more, moved to a bottle and they both took to it very well.

I'm sure if you've been to antenatal classes you'll have done the lists of pros and cons of both bf and formula feeding. I think most people look at bf and think yep that's a no brainer and certainly that's what I was hoping to do 100%. But things change when you have your little ones and when things don't go as well as you'd hoped they would. Whatever feeding route you go down, just remember, it's the right one for you. personally i think combination feeding for twins is a win win situation. They get breastmilk daily be it on the breast or EBM and formula as a top up. Also if they take a bottle then the feeding times aren't solely your responsibility and you can have help. Hats off to women who breastfeed twins 100%, I've no doubt it is extremely rewarding and something to be very proud of and i do admire my friends who have done this, but perhaps I didn't have the patience or determination they did, but I'm happy with the route we took and you'll find a routine which suits you too i'm sure.

I just wanted to say good luck to Aramass and Rach202, I remember the feeling of being a few days away from my twins arriving and it's so overwhelmingly exciting and nervewracking at the same time.
I did my best to breastfeed as I desperately wanted to give them what I had been told was the best start, but to be honest I left hospital after 5 days without being able to breastfeed (problems latching on and very small amounts of milk) and still insisting that I didn't want my babies bottle fed, so we used a syringe and formula which was a disaster. The babies had to have formula as their sugar levels were low. They were so small and lost even more weight (going under 4lbs) that we were admitted back into hospital the next week and I was told in no uncertain terms that the only way was to get the babies bottle feeding and keeping trying with the breastfeeding. With hindsight I'd have started with bottles at the beginning. So, what I'm trying to say is that although we are taught that breast is best, in some circumstances (when babies are very small) it's more important to just get any food into them. Once we started the bottle feeding everything was so much easier, I'd rock one baby in a rocking chair whilst feeding the other - and then swap them over.
We didn't bathe ours for a few weeks I think! But that doesn't matter either.
The first few weeks are a blur with round the clock feeds, snatching any sleep you can and visitors (I agree that people who just want to come round and sit and have a chat aren't very helpful, I had plenty of those) but that time is so precious and special.
Then when you have some energy you can take the babies so a walk on a sunny warm day and you'll feel so proud of them,
Just cherish every minute with them x

hi Aramass, exciting time ahead of you! I was lucky and didn't have any problems with BF. my boys did lose a bit of weight and had to be topped up with formula from a cup while in hosp for a day or two but other than that they were exclusively BF and have never drunk from a bottle. I do wish I'd tried expressing though, as at times have gone a bit loopy as I have been completely tied to them which was sometimes too much. I tandem fed right from the beginning, but had to have them handed to me for a while. I felt mean doi g it, but if one woke up for a feed then I woke the other one too, or I would have been feeding non-stop. It was a bit tricky keeping them inposition when they were small, I'd definitely recommend an EZ 2 nurse cushion as that made things loads easier. I have the foam and the inflatable and got on best with the foam one although it's not thick enough so you need to prop other pilows underneath it. I was very sore after my C-section and couldn't do much. babies were bathed for the first time at about 2 weeks old. they didn't do much apart from feed and sleep! One thing with hindsightI wish I'd realised is that they might need feeding really often at the beginnin if you BF. I thought they should only need feeding every 2-3 hours, and we were in hosp and a baby would cry, and we were like 'he can't be hungry' but it turned out he was! I always fed on demand and am only now getting the boys into some kind of routine, so I kind of muddled along. I would love to have got them into a routine, but their feed and sleep requirements were just too random, especially in summer when it was really hot and they wanted to feed really often to get the thin thirst-quenching foremilk.
we didn't have visitors at all, as no family and friends nearby, just the midwife came daily for the first week (that is standard here in Germany). DH was home for 4 weeks after we got home and by then I was ready to manage on my own. I daresay I could have coped a bit sooner but was sooo glad to have him there for that long.
wish you loads of good luck!

You will by now be a Mummy so huge congratulations. I was the same as you but I had decided I would bottle feed formula as I could then get other people to help. Anyone that can breast feed twins is a super woman!! As for routine I thought I would get the the 3-4 hourly feeds sorted from day one but I am afraid it doesn't work like that, as in the early days they can only drink a small amount each timewell it didn't with my two. For the first 8 weeks we were basically feeding them every time they opened their eyes!!! I then made a concious effort just after Christmas to get this routine sorted. It is hard work at first and involved going for long walks and drives to make them last out the 4 hours but I am happy to say within a week I had it sussed. Now when they are awake they are not hungry as they take their full feed every 4 hours and are happy to play. My boys also started sleeping through the night at 11 weeks and still are so things are much easier now. We get the odd wake up from them but don't feed them. They also great us with lovely smiles in the morning as they are so happy after a good sleep. I thought new born babies slept all the time, I can tell you mine didn't and just trying to get showered was an effort was sometimes still in my dressing gown at lunchtime and breakfast was a chocolate bar!!!

I hope you little ones and you are doing well and wish you lots of health and happiness xxxx