Tag Archives: Character

In 2003 Clara Harris was convicted of the murder of her husband David Harris. That she killed him was never disputed because it was caught on camera. Clara, either in a fit of rage, or accidentally, ran her husband over in a hotel parking lot where he had met with his mistress, Gail Bridges.

Clara was born in Bogotá and worked hard to fulfil her dream of working in the United States. A dentist, she met David Harris, an orthodontist and together they ran half a dozen successful dental offices.

Everybody in their workplace was aware of David’s affair with the office assistant, Gail, who had earlier, during her own divorce proceedings, been implicated in an affair with a woman called Julie Knight.

The jury took into account ‘sudden passion’ before sentencing Clara to twenty years in prison.

Clara Harris was a woman who worked hard at success, in life and in marriage. The news of David’s affair came as a devastating blow to her and she became intensely insecure. She went so far as to ask David to make a list of comparisons between her and Gail which she set out to correct immediately. Such as losing weight, colouring her hair and making an appointment with a plastic surgeon.

On the night of the murder, David had told her that he was meeting with Gail at the hotel to put an end to the affair. When he did not return home, Clara and Lindsey (David’s daughter) went to the hotel to look for him. Now I can imagine what state she was in. How her stomach turned in fear of what she would find. And what she did find was David and Gail walking in the hotel lobby, hand in hand. They had spent two hours together in a hotel room.

A scene followed in the hotel lobby with Clara apparently attacking Gail. David then took Gail to the car park and Clara and Lindsey got into her Mercedes. At some point, as she spotted David and Gail, Clara put her foot down and tried to run them over. She says all of that time is a blur to her. Gail was injured slightly but David was seriously hurt. Onlookers say that Clara then ran over David again and again. He died shortly after.

Now I don’t condone what she did, murder is not a solution to any problem. But I can put myself in Clara’s shoes. Firstly, she was completely unaware of her husband’s affair although everyone around her knew. Secondly, when she found out, she did everything in her power to get him back, including more sex.

David’s behaviour is not really shocking, I suppose many men do the same. But to compare her physical attributes to Gail’s is a bit low.

I will not dwell on Gail Bridges. Suffice it to say that I cannot have sympathy for any woman who puts herself in a position where she could break up a family and destroy children’s lives.

Clara is not a character that invokes sympathy, but I think thousands of women could empathise with her. The woman scorned. Not out for revenge, but suddenly confronted with the fact that her husband does not want her anymore. Lies, sex and rejection. And a sudden fit of passion in more than one sense of the word that ended in the death of one, and the misery of more.

They couldn’t keep their hands off one another and did not go out much. Preferring to stay home to watch movies and cuddle. Doing everything together, as young love does.

Someone drew a cartoon of everyone who matriculated that year. They were the only two depicted as one.

Her dream was to study at a prestigious acting school in Los Angeles. She was selected, and left. He remained behind to pursue his studies.

All the parents watched. And sighed.

Now it is their third year apart and he still has three years of studying ahead of him.

Both mothers’ hearts break for their children. But they do not interfere. How do you give advice on something you have no understanding of? Courting over Skype in spite of an eleven hour time difference. Touching physically for a little while only twice a year.

While so young and restless.

What everyone does understand is that if this relationship makes it, they would have earned it. The usual issues that crop up and are dealt with over time has to be sorted out quickly. Like jealousy and trust. All of us might have time to fight it, or fight about it. They don’t. You cannot distrust the other at night when you are alone in your bed, and make it work. Trust for them is a decision, not a feeling.

Everyone who knows them, roots for them. Because they deserve it.

They take it one day at a time, with the optimism of their youth. Not looking too far into the future. Not sweating the small stuff. They simply love, and believe that they are loved. Trusting that this love will be rewarded.

I know that they will both be richer for having had one another, no matter what. I also understand that to pass this test, they need character, and strength, and endurance, and faith. Which the passage of time, and the separation itself provides.

These two stones rub against one another, sanding hard. The pain released builds character which will be its own reward in time to come.

You are so faithful and brave my little children that my heart aches when I look at you, when my thoughts touch upon you.

I pray God’s favour over you. May He give you all the desires of your hearts till there is room for no more. And keep you strong and content, and faithful, and pure.

I have so much I want to ask for you, but rest in asking that His will be done. Because I don’t know what is best for you, nor do I know what the future holds for you.

The ship that rarely sails. Or that sets off and glides along for a good while before hitting an iceberg or a rock. Or where a mutiny on deck causes a power shift and a new commander makes for ports unchartered for.

Why is this? Because of inherent differences in people, their opinions, visions and goals. Often times it is due to unscrupulous partners and greed. The lack of hesitation in using another for personal gain. Seeing a talent, skill, attitude or attribute in someone else that can be used to one’s own personal advantage. Knowing full well, that when the usefulness of the partner has been spent, he will be thrown overboard somewhere at sea. Having brought to the table what the vulture needed, but could not supply himself.

Signing contracts are of no use. It will eventually cost more to get out of a contract through a lawyer than what it will to just walk away. And as always, the lawyer will be the only one who makes a profit as he feeds off the lack of knowledge or understanding, differences of opinion and misfortunes of others.

When two people shake hands, it is on the assumption of mutual trust. No one does this if they imagine that the other has diabolical intentions once out at sea.

There is the ship owner that offers shares in a vessel as well as a captaincy to another. The latter mans, repairs, cleans and loads the ship and sets of to trade, waving goodbye and bon voyage to the former standing on the quay. But no sooner has the ship disappeared from view before the original owner sets off in full pursuit, clambers aboard and wrenches back the controls in an act of piracy.

Then there is the partner that offers a partnership and initially works hard, side-by-side. But as time goes by, he starts missing voyages due to other commitments and eventually completely fails to board. The other is left with a 100% of the work and only 50% of the profit, yet is expected to be, and act grateful, forever and ever amen. This while lining the coffers of him no longer there.

True also is that rosy skylines are marred by partners that are always late, and those who never take calls or return messages. All of which could lead to mutiny.

Even under the best of weathers, with the most trustworthy of partners, and without an ounce of maliciousness on the horizon, the partnership will have more stormy waters and rough seas to contend with than could ever have been envisioned at the outset. This ship has the potential to ruin even the finest of friend, or family relationships.

So dear seafarers, I wish to encourage you to study carefully the character of another, read again and again through a ship’s logs and papers, suspiciously revise the behaviour of sea routes, calculate costs, conjure up future scenarios ,weigh, weigh and weigh options, both personal and financial, before ever stepping aboard another man’s ship.

We think we have our lives mapped out and that we know what is best for us. But this is rarely the case. Reality is, no matter how much we scheme and plan, we do not know what the future holds.

When I was younger, I wished and asked for all sorts of stuff. I prayed what I thought was needed for others. But now I know differently. Now I say: “Thy will be done”.

Early on, I realized that suffering was good for me. That although difficult to get through, it formed and shaped character and equipped me to deal with life. I went on my knees and asked for it. Suffice it to say that I will not ever do that again.

Right now, I love a certain little girl for my son. I can see her in his future. I think they will be good for one another and that they have the makings of a mature relationship. However, I have refrained from asking for her. I do not know what is best for my child, I do not know the future, I must therefore accept whichever way it turns out.

So, I am careful. I make sure before I ask, or wish. And if I don’t have 100% certainty, I don’t.