Monday, January 17, 2011

The Empty Nest

I'm the mother of four, mother-in-law of two, grandmother of one, and as of last Friday, an empty nester. Sigh. The last baby bird has flown the nest. Daughter moved into her first apartment in the Big Apple. I'm thrilled and delighted for her new adventure. I'm worried about all the things Moms worry about when their baby girl lives anywhere but home. And yes, I'm sad because an era of Motherhood has come to an end.

Maybe I'm splitting hairs, but I see a difference from four years ago when we loaded up the minivan and took her to college, two hours away, and this move, when we loaded up the same minivan and took her to a high-rise apartment house less than 40 minutes away. Then, I knew that my home was her permanent home. School vacations, summers, would be spent here. Her room stayed intact, high school mementos still lining the walls, the Beanie Babies still safe on her bed.

Now she will visit us, but her apartment will be home. Her legal address. She'll get a New York City library card even! I'm pathetic, I know.

The thing is, I actually know I'll be okay. When we took her to college, hubby and I missed her like the dickens. But Murder Off the Books had just been published. Almost every weekend, and frequently weekday evenings, would be spent on the road promoting the book at signings and library events. And it was an adventure my husband and I shared. We called him my "roadie," driving to the event, schlepping books, handling sales while I gave the speech, and then spending some of the money earned on a nice dinner afterwards. We discovered anew that we had a lot in common, more than just four kids and a house.

All of which leads me to the conclusion that I need to work harder with Rhonda to finish the next Mac Sullivan book, write more Brianna Sullivan mysteries, and enjoy my time with my number one fan (and I his), John Borden.

And just so I don't get too lonely, daughter spent last night in her apartment, but is coming home this afternoon to get her hair cut, shop at Target with Mom and Mom's credit card, and meet up with old friends.

5 comments:

Thank you, I needed this today. Sometimes I worry about what life will be like when the kids have flown the nest (coming closer all the time). It'll be different for sure. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Oh, you've hit a nerve for me, too! Thinking about child #1 going off to college in eighteen months has already got me cuckoo...but seeing her moving into an apartment in NYC? That would send me off the deep end. All I can say is that I speak to my mother at least once, sometimes more, in a day so maybe being on your own will bring you closer? Let us know, please. Maggie (crying already)

Don't change that bedroom into an office, you may need it for a bedroom again. My experience has been that sometimes they come home for one reason or another. For awhile I felt like my boys were on yoyo strings and kept popping back. We have really never been alone, we always have someone living with us at different times: 3 grandsons, we have one now, and a granddaughter.