Only Fools and Horses Cuts – Part 6

The Jolly Boys Outing (1989)

The next special to be cut is the 1989 special “The Jolly Boys Outing”. This is one of the most well-known cuts as the scene removed is easily remembered due to its content. The cut occurs after the hotel room scene, with Del, Rodney and Uncle Albert in bed. The last line of the scene is “Come on then, just one quick light ale”. After this line the DVD version cuts straight to the nightclub scene showing Del and Rodney with Trigger, Mike and Boycie. In the original version, Del and Rodney have a five minute conversation before they arrive. This cut was because of music and means the following lines have been lost:

Del: “Blinding bit of scampi, innit, eh? It’s fresh an’ all, you know. Straight out of the sea into your basket.”
Rodney: “You don’t get scampi off the coast.”
Del: “Of course you do! It’s the sea, innit?”
Rodney: “Yeah, but it’s Margate!”
Del: Yeah, “I know that, but the scampi don’t know that, do they?”
Rodney: “No, I s’ppose not.”
Del: “Ere, what was that starter…um…Cassandra made us last week?”
Rodney: “Moules Mariniere”
Del: “Mmm! That’s it. They were lovely moules, an’ all, weren’t they, eh? ‘Cos she’s got style, see. I mean that Cassandra is a classy lady”
Rodney: “I suppose so.”
Del: “No, no suppose so about it. I mean, a lot of people- you know, cheapos – would have used mussels – not Cassandra.”
Rodney: “We get on well.”
Del: “Mmm? Yeah, of course we do! Blimey!”
Rodney: “No, I meant me and Cassandra.”
Del: “Oh I see. Well that’s good, Because I mean your missus should be more than just your wife, you know. She should be your best mate an’ all.”
Rodney: “Yeah. It’s just… sometimes you get the feeling…I don’t know how to explain it…Have you ever read a book…Well have you ever seen the film where someone marries beneath themselves?”
Del: “Oh, don’t start that, Rodney! You have not married beneath yourself! Cassandra comes from a very lovely family! Your problem is you’re letting her rule you. I mean, that cobblers tonight – you know, she wouldn’t let you out! I mean, what are you, a man or a mouse? You’ve gotta learn to assert yourself. I mean, I may sound old-fashioned, but you take my word for it, in the end a man likes a woman to be a woman! And a bird likes a bloke to be a bloke!”
Rodney: “D’you know you’re right! ”
Del: “Mmm, that is Bonnet de Douche, as they say in the Basque”
Rodney: “Absolutely!”
Del: “Yeah, that’s it. Oh ‘ere, come on. Drink up, we’ll have another one…look who’s here, the three musketeers, Oi Boycie! Boycie over here!”

They were lovely moules

You have not married beneath yourself

Boycie and co arrive

Boycie: “Hello Del”
Del: “it’s good here, innit eh?”
Boycie: “Stunning”
Del: “Yeah, they got a magician, a singer and a comedian. The singer’ll be on a minute!”
Boycie: “So where are you staying.”
Del: “Oh, we got a lovely little bed and breakfast, ain’t we Rodney?”
Rodney: “Yeah, it’s really good!”
Boycie: “Yes, well me, Mike and Alan booked into a hotel down on the front.”
Trigger: “ I got a room in a motel. They don’t know I ain’t got a car. (winks in a fooled ‘em way)”
Mike: “I’d keep quiet about that if I was you, Trig.”
Trigger: “Not half.”
Rodney: “Oi where’s Alan?”
Boycie: “Oh of course, you wouldn’t have heard about that, would you? Well, you know how much Alan loves shellfish? Well he ate half the ocean bed today. Until at some time or another, he copped an unfortunate whelk!”

This is the point where the DVD version starts with Trigger saying “Where have I seen that bird before?”.

The singer’ll be on a minute!

Next week we will look at Only Fools and Horses Cuts for another Special in part 7 of this series of articles