Decision

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Fortunate intelligent beings that they are, animals do not make decisions. Their superior evolutionary track has endowed them with instinct, a characteristic humans entirely lack. Human beings are constantle making wrong bad un good ideas. Therefore, evolution has not aided us in any way. We, as the only supposed species that has the ability to reason with others and our selves, should try to think a tad bit more about how animals surpass us in technology. I mean, the PAW for God's sakes. And here we are, sitting with our useless HANDS with thumbs, and such.

Common sense is entirely genetic, passed through jeans (sometimes in the form of mud). In the late 1980's scientists were intrigued to discover, however, that just because two parents both had common sense, children of theirs did not necessarily possess the trait, and vice versa. This, unfortunately, was eventually attributed to the Mailman effect which can be explained with unusually easy maths.

Examples of common sense in the media include the classic The Bicycle Thief, when Antonio finally gets fed up with walking around, and just steals a bike from a small child. The delightful romp that ensues is worth every penny!

When there's a decision to be made, the experts often turn to brainstorming. Brainstorming is the process of sitting down with a group of people and asking each to contribute his or her thoughts, no matter how foolish or stupid they may be. All ideas are then compiled into one massive moronic whole.

It was through this process that the first black hole of stupidity was created.

Often considered one of the best ways for those with little to no common sense to make decisions, turning to the occult has several benefits. For those with extra money, fortune tellers and Gypsies are often willing to predict the future for a few dollars.

Some of the best decisions in history were made through the use of supernatural methods. Saul, in the Bible, was able to retain his kingship through the use of a witch. It is widely known that George Washington always read his horoscope. Simpsons creator Matt Groening has repeatedly stated that he got the idea for the show while staring at a bunch of tea leaves.

There are several other methods which have stood up to the test of time. A brief discussion of some of these follows. For each method, we will discuss its application to the following prompt:

It's the fourth quarter with 5 seconds. Your team is down by one points. You're 5 feet behind the three point line, when suddenly you get hold of the ball. Although you're not a very good shot, you see that your best player is standing directly under the basket. What do you do?

Some people become so incapacitated by the thought that they need to make a decision that they "freeze up." A medical condition technically known as Frizocerebrosis, this condition causes these people to hesitate until all is lost. Needless to say, this method is popular among spineless dweebs and politicians up for election.