Mare Genius

Being an ancient being of chaos trapped in the prison of a stone statue sucked.

Being an ancient being of chaos trapped in stone while delicious, hilarious strife was happening not far away was suction to the billionth degree.

Discord seethed as he sensed the battle raging in Canterlot Castle between the changelings and his "beloved" ponies-cum-favorite targets. Oh, how he wished he could join into the fun. Queen Chrysalis and her ilk would have been perfect allies--well, until he had them eaten by marshmallow parakeets--to teach Celestia a lesson about doing this to him. Instead, he had to stay in this calcified form on the sidelines. It wasn't fair!

Wait.

The magical barrier around Canterlot was weakened.

He couldn't do anything impressive. It wouldn't be focused. But Discord was not the only being that truly terrified a nigh-immortal avatar of the sun for no reason. Subtle mischief would do when fancier tricks failed. He had just enough power--

--to SHOW THEM ALL!

+++++

Chaos writhed and slipped through the cracks in the fabric of reality.

Not quite sentient, the impulse of a trickster abomination obeyed the dictates of its creator: SHOW THEM ALL. It flitted through thousands of different realities in nanoseconds.

In a direction not comprehensible to most beings limited to three-dimensions, it found the agent of chaos that would fulfill its creator's wishes.

"Alright do it! And get back!"

Such madness! Such potential! And that was the HEROIC personality dominant at the moment. The one suppressed within her mind was even better!

"Got it!"

The spell sensed the wonderful evil come free of its shackles. It reached out and--

Discord's spell was imperfect. It activated just on the cusp of transition. The wrong personality was copied into its structure and sent back to Equestria.

Well. Perhaps not. Certainly Agatha Heterodyne would serve to create more than enough chaos by herself...

Deep in the mountains northwest of a small town in Equestria, a small form shimmered into being.

Green eyes opened.

"Ow."

++++

Agatha's mind whirled with confusion. One minute, she had been strapped down into the Si Vales rig whle Violetta tore away the locket. The idea was for her less-than-beloved mother to take the psychic stress and agony of the hideous resurrection procedure; Agatha's own psyche would have been safe from the shock of untold amounts of current blasting her. Well, that was the intent. It would have worked. Probably it did. But she certainly wasn't in the Great Movement chamber of the Castle.

Glasses, glasses, where were her glasses?

Ah! Good. Agatha fumbled with her hooves to hook her glasses behind her ears. The world came into focus. How in Europa had she ended up here? "Here" being a steep-sided mountain valley barren of trees save for a few conifers. The Castle and the town itself were nowhere in sight. Had there been an explosion? No! Gil! Tarvek! The others! After all that she had gone through, only for them to--

Er.

Agatha held up her arms.

Correction: her forelegs, at the end of which were aforementioned hooves.

"Brigadoom" was an interesting set-up. But unmanageable. Too many characters to contend with, too much power given to Agatha right off the bat. A ponified Agatha alone in Equestria, having to deal with the inevitable adjustments, makes for a more interesting story (I hope).

And for the record: earth pony, not unicorn. Agatha's Sparkiness is scary enough without having a unicorn's magical talent to back up her SCIENCE! Equestria will have enough problems with the former. A unicorn who can cast Mountain Piercing Death Ray when riled up breaks the setting too much.

And for the record: earth pony, not unicorn. Agatha's Sparkiness is scary enough without having a unicorn's magical talent to back up her SCIENCE! Equestria will have enough problems with the former. A unicorn who can cast Mountain Piercing Death Ray when riled up breaks the setting too much.

Click to expand...

Now watch in terror as she builds herself a tesla-powered mechanical horn and a pair of jet propelled wings.

Agatha's first thoughts are likely to be "who's experiment messed up, and is it possible to replicate it?"

Click to expand...

Close. A darker scenario, though--involving constructs and a sadistic mother who was known for her mind-transfer skills. Then she finds evidence things are *far* weirder than she expected.

Nox--appreciate the offer. This is a bit of a clear my head fic--like many others--to help recharge for "Sparkgate". I was inspired by the pic above (not mine) on Deviantart. It captured Agatha's distinctive expression of annoyance so well.

And for the record: earth pony, not unicorn. Agatha's Sparkiness is scary enough without having a unicorn's magical talent to back up her SCIENCE! Equestria will have enough problems with the former. A unicorn who can cast Mountain Piercing Death Ray when riled up breaks the setting too much.

Actually, Mother Nature just kicks back with a Margarita and a handsome poolboy named Summer and lets the ponies run the show in their turf. The Everfree is her pet project balancing act and a default clause in her agreement with the Ponies. As long as they don't screw up the seasons and so forth, she lets them do whatever. Screw up, and she cuts loose with the Everfree to wreck havoc.

Worse, this would allow the Spark engineered perfect coffee into the mere vicinity of Pinkie Pie. I predict awesome, explosions and the breaking of the rules of science, magic and creation within half an AU should that happen.

Standing shakily on four legs, Agatha reviewed the modified quadrupedal locomotion script she had fixed into her consciousness. It turned out that whatever mind transfer technique had put her into this body had not granted her the instinctive knowledge of how to move it. Her first few attempts at walking had been rather painful. She had given up relying on her own instincts, instead drawing upon her clank programming skills. Modern clanks were collections of modeled animal behaviors acting in a subsumption architecture. Presumably the same synthetic behaviors could be applied to the organic form they had been originally based upon.

Right foreleg like this, left like that, don't think, let the script run and the brain adjust for outside variables.

Clip-clop.

Hmmm. It seemed to be working, perhaps she could try a trot ARRRGHHHH--

Agatha groaned as she lay on her back, legs twined up in a Gordian knot.

Simple steps. Very simple steps.

++++

Okay, that was an improvement. Agatha walked up and down the valley without adding to the many bruises all over her body. It had only taken her about three hours. She rewarded herself with cropping at a sparse patch of grass by the banks of a stream. At least she wouldn't starve, though she assumed she was restricted to the vegetarian option. She didn't sense any evidence that she could sprout tentacles and fangs like that dreaded horse beastie.

There was no question the new abode of her mind was a construct. Agatha studied her reflection in the surface of the stream. Features that were equine yet subtly anthropomorphized stared back at her. Real ponies did not have muzzle structures so rounded, or eyes so large. The effect was that of a child's idea of what a horse looked like. The strawberry-blonde mane was much longer than any horse's that she had seen. Equines generally also didn't have cowlicks that stuck up from between their ears. Experimentally, she swished the flowing tail at her rump. Such an odd sensation! Agatha tested the range of motion in her limbs. They had an almost human dexterity. Horse anatomy wasn't her strong suit. But she was sure no real one could tap a hoof to their chin.

Her mother must have thought this quite the joke. Tears shimmered behind her glasses. They had lost. Somehow, Lucrezia had broken free and transferred Agatha into this ridiculous organic prison. Who knew what had happened to Moloch or Violetta or Tarvek? As for Gil-- Oh, yes, Mother Undearest would have Big Plans for the heir to the Wulfenbach Empire. Agatha stamped a hoof. Joke? She'd show Mom how funny it was. A flush of rage glowed through the light-brown fur covering her cheeks. She still had her mind. She still had Zeetha's training. She would track down Lucrezia and smash in her own former skull if need be. Snarling, Agatha kicked at a sapling with a back hoof.

*SNAP*

Make that a stump. This body certainly was strong. Excellent muscle to mass ratio.

Yes. Not helpless at all.

++++

It wasn't too bad, actually.

Agatha had managed a slow trot an hour into her walk. Normally, she would have been breathing hard at such a pace. Her pony body had increased stamina as well as strength. She wouldn't bet on her condition handling a gallop. But a steady, distance eating pace suited her form rather well. Her senses were so much sharper! Her nose picked out smells that her old form might have missed. She could swivel her ears about to catch sound coming from all directions. Perhaps she could find a way to keep these abilities when--not if, when--she copied a new human body for mind transfer.

Because there was no way in Hades she was going through life without hands.

Agatha spotted the mine entrance when she came around the curve of the river. She had elected to follow the path of the stream. Zeetha's instruction hadn't included just savage stick beatings. There had also been basic survival tips. A stream meant a water source. Water was far more important than food. Agatha's body could deal with starvation for much longer than it could dehydration. As well, water courses also meant the potential for human settlement along their banks or boat travel. Ha! Zeetha had been right. Agatha would thank her personally for it! Her advice had lead her right to other humans--

Agatha Heterodyne lived in a Europa where the weird was commonplace. Ponies coming out of mines? Quite understandable. They were used all the time to pull ore carts or work in treadmills. The unusual variation of coat colour in these pit ponies was odd. Not too odd considering vitalism science. That they wore miners hats with electric lamps on top could be explained. As could the fact several carried pickaxes and other tools that were perfectly sized for pony use. Sparks came up with the weirdest ideas at times. That they could talk perfect English wasn't anything conclusive. Her chief political advisor and sovereign was a hyper-intelligent cat.

So why did she have a horrible suspicion matters were very wrong?

Ah. Yes. The pony with the horn sticking out of its brow, with a blue radiance surrounding the lunch bucket floating beside it. The unicorn.