“Royal gene” discovered

Researchers have found the genetic mutation in human DNA which is responsible for making someone a member of the British Royal Family. The discovery sheds new insight in the ancient origins of the royals, as well as allowing future monarchs to be identifed sooner.

The finding, published in this month’s issue of the Journal of Regal Genetics, marks the first time scientists have isolated the so-called “royal gene” or “queen gene”. The sequence, known as HRH, connects Queen Elizabeth II to some of the earliest life on earth.

Scientists were able to show that the first royal lived more than 2 billion years ago. It was a single-celled bacteria-like creature, Staphylococcus Majestuosus. It was cylindrical in shape, with a crown of fatty acids and a whiplike tail that could be waved in a regal greeting.

“In its day, this was a proud and magnificent creature, and truly ruled the planet with its kingly splendor,” said Dr Indiana Chu, a co-author of the study. “Other germs would have bowed down before it. Today, of course, it would appear insignificant, causing only a hacking cough, crusty sores, and diarrhea.”

The genetic mutation is extremely rare. Human DNA is normally composed of four nucleotide bases – adenine, cytosine, guanine and thymine. In the HRH sequence, adenine is replaced by a fifth nucleotide – ermine. The sequence is believed to affect areas of the genetic code which control doing a wonderful job, and being smaller than you look on television.

When scientists bred mice with the same mutation, they moved about more slowly, attracted groups of mouse attendants, and would eat only caviare and roast swan.

“This is a landmark study,” said Dr. Charles Pinko, a leading geneticist, and head of majestic medicine at the University of California, San Francisco. “It not only gives us a better understanding of what makes royal people different from – and better than – the rest of us, but also gives us valuable knowledge of their ancient ancestry.”

Scientists speculate that the new discoveries may help identify previously unknown members of the royal family, and provide novel treatments for those who are classless or crude. With advances in gene therapy, it may even be possible to inject the gene into ordinary humans, giving them royal abilities, and allowing them to become nominal rulers of once-mighty empires.