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Dear Aziz,
You don’t know me, but I’ve been a fan of your work for a while now. As a couples therapist and sex and relationship educator, I’ve taught your book and used your stand up clips in my classroom for years. I’ve long had the sense that you’re a seeker-- curious as I am about the …

Just because we don't talk about something, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. In my work as a couple therapist, and as a professor who trains people to do couple therapy, I have found a relationship dynamic that often gets overlooked. We do not talk nearly enough about the impact of power on our …

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2 weeks agoby dr.alexandra.solomonThis. Is. Everything. It takes great courage to FEEL, to lean into our emotions, to trust that our emotions are what make us human and beautiful and alive. There's nothing more sacred than learning to live in those giant paradoxes~~ •I am brave and sad •I am angry and hurt •I am afraid and curious •I am confused and open We do great emotional violence to ourselves and each other when we take a feeling and then add a judgment ("you shouldn't feel that way..." "others have it worse..." "it's no big deal..." "get over it..."). The degree to which

2 weeks agoby dr.alexandra.solomonHappy International Women's Day to all of the girls and women who strive to be big and bold and unapologetic in a world that has been telling us for centuries to ssshhh! And here's to the boys and men who HOLD SPACE for women's healing. Let's be real clear for a moment that when a woman commits to the practice of her own wholeness, she reaches back to heal her ancestors and she reaches forward to spare the girls who will follow. And the men who honor and listen and believe? They are partners who work in the service of

1 month agoby dr.alexandra.solomonThere's much to love about these wise words, but I want to focus on how we heal that which has been broken. Do we heal with TIME? Yes. The sharp edges of pain round themselves out with time... the way a shard of glass becomes frosty smooth beach glass over days, months, years of waves and sand. Time is necessary. But time is not sufficient. Take this example: A partner who has been unfaithful grows frustrated and says, "Why can't he get over it? It happened 4 years ago!" From that perspective, time ought to be the major agent of

1 month agoby dr.alexandra.solomonSafety and risk. Within our nature is the pull toward novelty, imagination, creation. And within our nature is the attendant fear that comes along for the ride: But what if I fail? I've learned to develop a sense of suspicion when only two paths open before me~~ ~success ~failure I start to wonder who is it that gets to define which path this particular endeavor/project/creation/relationship get plopped down on. And based on what criteria? And toward what end? Something can "fail" based on one set of criteria AND at the very same time offer spectacular and life-changing learning. And sometimes

2 weeks agoby dr.alexandra.solomonLove is a verb. Love is a journey. Love is a practice. Love is a process. A lover must approach their beloved with curiosity and a "beginner's mind." What is it you need in order to thrive? A lover must approach their beloved with commitment. What is it I can do today to strengthen our bond? These two elements alone~~ the need for curiosity and patience~~ end up being somewhat antithetical to our modern era. •We crave knowing. If I have a question I google the answer in a split second •We crave instant gratification. Tell me now whether or

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