This message is to hereby sent to inform you that your man card will be revoked effective 1/29/18 due to an excessive level of “experience”. It has been brought to our attention that you will ‘age out’ of the man club this year due primarily due to the ‘moobs’ which have surfaced on your aging body as a result of increasing levels of estrogen. Furthermore, your recent inability to take photos without appearing similar to Rodney Dangerfield has endangered other men who may be in your proximity during the staging or taking of previously mentioned photographs.

It is with sincere regret we send you this message, however, it is in the best interest of men everywhere that we officiallly terminate your manhood effective 1/29/18 and revoke your man card.