I’m a knitter, spinner, and fearless warrior in the coming Zombie Apocalypse. What can I say? I multi-task...

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

What? Me...Worry???

There are many things over which I could be stressing right now. Many. Very, very many. Scads...oodles...bunches.

On the lesser end of the Stress-O-Meter, there is quite a bit of the holiday knitting that is yet to be finished. Or started, really. There is also that pesky matter of the Christmas shopping. I've done a grand total of "a little bit." One thing, to be exact. One might say, I need to "get on" this little task.

Moving up the scale, we have tomorrow's meeting. This is scheduled for 8:00 in the morning and requires that I have scads of information on a child to share in a coherent and teachery kind of voice. I'm pretty sure I remembered to get the file out before I fled the work environment today. I think...

Leveling up another notch, there is the Parenting Education curriculum I agreed to write back in August. The one that I honestly wasn't all that fired up over, but said I would do because it is a pet project of my boss'. I like my boss. But she's something of a steamroller when she gets excited about something and I'm one who is easily flattened by other's dreams and aspirations. This masterpiece has been simmering on the back burner of my overworked brain for months now. I somehow have to produce a full program for parents of unique and challenged learners, complete with citations, hand-outs and professional language by December 10th. And it must be in a binder. Why a binder? I do not know...but I have been told this is rather important to the whole process. I probably should get started on this thing. It sounds like it might be a lot of work.

Then there is my upcoming appointment with the plastic surgeon to have my Mole Of Disturbing Dimensions removed. I somehow managed to lose all the paperwork on this little event and really had no idea when I was scheduled for the slicing and the dicing. Turns out it was next Monday. But they had to change it to Friday because the doctor will be in surgery on Monday. I can see how I might forget an appointment. Forgetting things is, after all, what I do. But it makes me just a wee bit nervous that an appointment scheduled since August might slip the minds of the slicers and dicers until the week before it is to happen. Eh...I'm sure they know what they are doing. And, in any case, I don't have to worry about it for another week, after all.

Yeah...there's a whole bunch of stuff I could be thinking about right now. Big stuff that is really important and meaningful. Some of it is stuff I even get paid for. But that is not what has me all in a dither right now. No, The Sheep does not pay any mind at all to that which might be really important. My thoughts are occupied by the event that sends me right up into the stratosphere every year at this time:

Putting Up The Christmas Tree.

I do it every year during the first weekend in December. It kind of snuck up on me this year, I must admit. I'm normally near hysteria at this point. I call this phenomenon "Tree Stress" and it consumes me. I worry about whether I remembered to wrap the breakable ornaments and place them on the top of the ornament box or if I inadvertently crammed them in the bottom, crushing them and ruining Christmas forever. I worry that I will have forgotten how to put the tree together and will have to look at an upside-down holiday fir for the duration. (note: I went artificial after the year I became trapped under a downed pine in the middle of my living room and was unable to free myself. I feared that I would be stuck there until Easter...)

I also worry about whether the cats will remember that we put up a tree each year and if they think I am insane. I worry that they will chew on the lights and become all electrified.

I get to thinking about how the living room will need to be rearranged and where I might store a room full of furniture in order that I might accommodate my festive tree. I wonder about what my insurance company might think if I have to file a holiday related injury claim after throwing out my back moving a recliner.

I wonder if I may have left a candy cane hanging on a branch near the back and if this sugary treat has been feeding an army of ants. I try to think up creative battle plans for dealing with a large group of ants hopped up on aged sugar. (note #2: this is actually a baseless fear given that no candy cane goes unconsumed in the Sheep household)

I worry that people think I am insane for putting up a tree in the first place since I worry about the whole thing so much.

I often think about skipping the process...it's not like I need a tree. Santa knows to make the trip to Mommy and Daddy Sheep's house rather than mine. I even leave a note, just in case. But I like having a tree, despite the angst. So, I will spend this week having fits over the whole affair. Then I will come home Friday night and move the furniture. I will locate the tree and assemble it incorrectly. I will see this immediately and correct it. The ornaments will be intact and ready for hanging.

The cats will, in fact, have forgotten about the whole tree thing and will think I am crazy. But they tolerate me and my holiday ways. They like to nap under the tree...I think they feel like lions or pumas or something.

It will all be fine. It always is. And the lovely glow from the lights will be nice for knitting. And preparing for meetings. And writing 200 pages of curriculum. And healing after MODD removal.

We are contemplating tree placement options. Using available floor space means not being able to walk through the living room, and then there's the matter of the cats. The current thought is on top of the dog's bedroom - doesn't use up valuable floor space and the cats don't like walking on the wire. Of course, this means a tree that's about 3ft. tall, but last year we had none. All relative, dontcha know.

Tree Stress...you do know that's quite common, don't you? We have not gone artificial, so our stress has to do with deciding whether to cut our own or buy a pre-cut tree. Then we have to decide what kind. And then we have to find one that's not too tall and not too small, but just right. Then there's the stress of getting it in the house, in the stand, and trying to remember which boxes the decorations are in...ooof. Then add to that a new kitten this year. I think I'll go crawl under the covers now...

I went artificial the year after my hubby died. The whole 'stalk the perfect tree, lug it home' thing had kinda lost its appeal ... plus the fact that we are all allergic to pine.So now I just contemplate how many trees I'm going to put up... current count is four plus two wooden ones and about 6 mini ones.

When my mother lived in Whitehorse everyone was expected to just go out in the back yard and chop down their tree. The first year my Mom went out with a hand saw in -40 degree weather and sawed down the skinniest tree there was.

When she got back into the house she dropped it on the kitchen floor and all the branches snapped off since they were frozen solid. We spent Christmas Eve Crazy Glue-ing the branches back on.

You should put up your tree and enjoy it...ours always gives me pleasure, esp. to counteract the stress of ripping out of rows on a new project. I miss the real tree but the artificial one works out better this year; the only thing the cat (Timmy) bothers with is to drink the water out of the pan for the real tree, and we had to come up with a creative solution involving clothespins and trashbags.

Sheepish, I wanted to suggest that when you have your mole removed, that you ask for clear or flesh colored stitches (if there is such a thing), or even white. I had a mole removed on my face about four years ago, and the PS used black thread. It was so ugly that I covered it up with those small circle band-aids (not much better). I need another one off this winter and I'm hoping that he'll have better thread this time around.

I do wonder what the cats must think of all the craziness this time of year. Their brains certainly aren't large enough to carry the memories of holidays past (do you think they remember the year I bought the wrong kind of stuffed mice).

We got 2 full size trees up in the house without having to remove any furniture. It's a talent. (and also I rearranged a lot using those neat little "moving men" things)

About Me

I am a forty-something fiber-freak living in the wilds of Maine. My goals in life include: ridding my home of knitting UFOs, inventing an intraveneous coffee drip and growing old to become the crazy cat lady on my street. You know the one: 10-45 cats, nobody ever really gets a good look at her, just that fleeting glimpse as she screams at the neighborhood children to get off her lawn and about whom local legends abound.