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Friday, May 22, 2009

Friday, May 22, 2009

Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. Plenty of adults have it these days, and this vintage photo from Jessica E. may explain why:

Ah, yes: the great clown massacre of '77.

Rachel W. and I agree that the baker responsible for splitting this cake must be a sufferer:

See, now he's only got one hand to strangle you with - much better.

Plus, Melanie K. learned that bakeries today are still carrying on the proud tradition of traumatizing the kiddies:

"Come closer, little children. Binky wants to play..."

While Lulu C. discovered the ghosts of clowns past:

Or are those zombie clowns? Hmm. Better eat their brains before they eat yours, Lulu.

Of course Kyle D. is correct: no one put Coulrophobia on the map like Stephen King. Remember that freaky looking clown from It?

Because apparently this baker does.

Here he is again, only this time the resemblance is intentional:

Still, I'm disturbed. Look, I know I'm a wimp when it comes to horror flicks, but the fact that freakin' ten-year-olds are watching It is making me look unusually spineless-blob-of-jelly-like, ok? It's like the first time I got on a loopy roller coaster at age 20: There I was, about to soil myself with fear, while a stinkin' toddler(ok, so maybe he was a tall toddler) sat next to me giggling himself silly. Lucky for him I couldn't pry my white-knuckled hands from the lap bar, is all I can say.

Also, how bad does your name have to be that you abbreviate it on your own birthday cake? Sephiroth? Scooter? Sheldon? Scooby? (Yes, my knowledge of silly "s" names is limited to cartoons and video games.) Guys - your nominations?

Hey I recognize the clowns on the first cake. We learned to make those in the first Wilton class. My 14 year old daughter is terrified of clowns (I'll have to tell her what the technical term is) so she asked the instructor if she could just make more roses instead of the clowns. You could hardly see her cake for all the roses...talk about determination.Anyway, regarding these cakes on the whole I think Bart Simpson said it best: "Can't sleep...clowns will eat me."

The first one does look like blood spatter but the second one really looks like two guys with names like Vinnie and Guido caught up to him after reneging on a little bet on the ponies and he's been left in the gutter to beg for help with his one free hand from passers by.

Oh the inhumanity!

I can picture the clown sitting in Don Corleon's office only days before..... "What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you."

Yeah, that Clown Massacre of '77 is great!I hate clowns too, and I can't watch modern horror films. Start with the classics like Vincent Price films and work your way up to Hammer Horrors. They're better than anything made these days!

Those are the cakes that nightmares are made of.Especially that first one--my grandmother had a little bowl of those clown heads in her cupboard for 30 years. You would think you were grabbing a bowl for ice cream only to find all these balding heads on sticks staring up at you. Scared me every time (and no, I never saw the used on a cake, they must have been for "just in case").

Hahahaha the Clown massacre cake is hilarious, in a Quinten Tarrantino sort of way. As for the S name, seeing as how he has some upstanding parents that let him not only watch IT at the age of 10, but they spring for Pennywise to be put on his birthday cake, I'd vote for something like Scanlon.... which means Little Scandalous One

I've just decided that for my birthday cake this year I've GOT to get the clown college drive by that is the top picture. I can remember my birthday cakes as a child (70's) looking very similar to this and I SO need to relive that!!

I've been a huge fan of Cake Wrecks for quite some time, and I just so happen to work for a wedding cake obsessed TV company, so between your blog and my daily grind, my life is filled with fondant and ganache.

However, your Sephiroth reference has officially put your blog as my start page. Cakes AND Final Fantasy?! This boy's in heaven. You rock.

Oh gods. I'm one of the coulrophobia crowd, too. UGH. The only good thing about clown cakes is that it's legal to squash them with a hammer, whereas I have been informed that squashing real clowns is not. Either they are deliberately trying to traumatize that poor, long named 10-year-old, or he or she is already a warped little cuss. Brr!!

The top cake clearly came out of a Wilton I decorating class -- they're still teaching you to make clowns the same way in 2009 -- I just took a class in February. (But I ran with the horror -- did it in garish colors, and put the joker's head on one of the clowns). Pic here. Three of the clowns fell over on the drive home.

Clowns. *shudder* Why'd it have to be clowns? And how mean does that kid's parents have to be to put an evil clown on a BIRTHDAY cake? Thanks mom and dad. Forget all the (hopefully) awesome presents he got. That terrifying face will be the only thing he remembers. Oh, and let's not forget he won't be able to sit at a table without looking under it, like, a MILLION times. Can you say therapy?

If your name is Sephiroth then you should never abbreviate it EVER! Unless...you know, you're kind of a pansy and then you don't really live up to the name ;)

'It' still creeps the hell out of me at 28 (though maybe that's partially BECAUSE I was about 10 years old when I first saw it) ...which was only because my older brother kept telling me I'd like it. Hmm, maybe that cake is from an older brother trying to terrorize his younger sibling...

my niece is terrified of clowns. when we recently went to the circus, the clowns were working the line as we waited to be admitted and she just about cried when he stopped to talk to my boys. I had to shield her. LOL I gotta show her this post. It will make her day!

You know those haunted houses that pop up every year at Halloween to charge big bucks and scare you into wetting your pants? (What do you mean that last part was just me?) The big one in our area got even more popular a couple of years back when they added a clown room...

OMG--I totally HATE clowns! Your post today really hit home. I read the book "It" by Stephen King and when the movie came out I was afraid to even watch it. But I made myself do it and I was sorry. That creepy clown still haunts me to this day...

@jengersnap:After reading that last line of your post, (I'm sure the kid even abbriviated his own name. "I'm Super, thanks for asking!") I keep hearing "Don't you think I look good in this hat?" in my head.

And Christy mentioned the "clown college drive by", which brought back a (probably necessarily repressed) memory of a guy I dated when I was 21....he was 30 and he was so proud of the fact that he had graduated from Barnum & Bailey Clown College. That relationship didn't last long. ::eyeroll::

I 've never found clowns scary in the least--I just think that most of them are hideously, unnecessarily ugly. Bozo? Stupid AND ugly. Ronald MacDonald? GROSS! And very unlikeable, as well. A cute clown is fine. Anyone ever seen one? Well, I have--ME! A friend made me a clown suit for my birthday a couple of years ago ...and yes, I asked for it. The only thing that I don't like about it is that I'd SAID that I wanted one in PISTACHIO green. Not an impossible thing to imagine, when the woman (an excellent seamstress) hand-made the thing herself, and the fabrics stores have everything imaginable. It is a bright lime green, however... sad face. I really think that she didn't know what "pistachio" is, and didn't want to ask. But it's charming...has tiny flowers all over it...very girly. Blah blah blah.

ANYhoo, those frosting clowns look utterly stoned, so I don't think they give a crapfetti about how repulsively bloody and drippy they look. The ones with the ice cream cone hats I pity, for they look just like my mother-in-law. Except the MIL never smiles. And, *lucky* for me (DRIPPING sarcasm here), she hasn't been decapitated. *sigh*

Gotta love Lovecraft. What a freak. And kudos for the FF reference. Every cake needs long white hair and a freakin' sword the length of a basketball player. Vertical length...in case anyone was confused.

I mean, seriously, does anyone actually like clowns? And I don't mean that you just don't care one way or the other. Is anyone willing to stand up and say: "Clowns are majestic!" or "Clown themed birthday parties are all the rage."

And, unfortunately, I think mitosis is the only explanation for those decapitated clown head picks. Only one was manufactured in 1971... now look what's happened. When will we learn. (*shaking head slowly*)

Not an S name, but I actually know a kid named Tiberius.It's no big surprised that he goes by "Ty" and refused to tell people his real name for years...until someone saw it on the attendance sheet. ^_^

Does anybody else remember the clown cones they used to have at Baskin Robins? They were cute and actually kind of tasty with a ball of ice cream for the head. A big blob of buttercream on top of a cupcake, on the other hand.... I think I'll pass.

Am I the only one creeped out by Lefty Clowns GOOD hand? why is he fondling himself on a cake? And while we're at it, one begins to wonder what was on the half cake cut off.....another clown doing...ok ok, I just grossed myself out.

My Gosh! The first time I ever heard people were afraid of clowns I remember thinking "You're afraid of WHAT???? That's like being afraid of a big fuzzy team mascot. And then I found out there are people who are afraid of those too (*eyeroll*)

For petes sake people there are people in the world who have REAL things to be afraid of and you're sitting in America in your big comfy lazyboy sucking on a slurpee scarfing down nachos and shaking at the sight of....A CLOWN?????

I'm curious why you need your last name on a cake. When I want a birthday cake, I don't ask for my full name. I think the pure fact that they needed to emphasize the kid's name is weird enough. Maybe the baker couldn't figure out how to spell the name?

I actually fell asleep to It. I usually get bored with most of horror movies and leave before anything exciting happened. (I was the kid who watched Jurassic Park when she was 5, when it came out. I was NEVER afraid of the dinosaurs coming to eat me. I thought they were cute. I was afraid of people--afraid of the evils of humanity.)

For the record, I am actually more afraid of Sephiroth than I am of clowns, and clowns freak me out. I don't know what it is, I have an irrational fear of Sephiroth. There should be a fancy Latin phobia for that, too. I feel left out.

My Dad's name was Sheldon!My brother is Sheldon (Junior)--a name he's never been all that fond of. What GUY wants to be nicknamed "Shelly"?"My Dad ran with the "dead end" kids when he was young, and they all just called each other by their last names.

My stepmom loves clowns, and does clowning herself. She got my dad into it; she actually commissioned a painting of her and my dad in costume (it's a cute picture and hangs over their mantel). She posted some pictures of them in full rig at a party on her website (now defunct). A veteran clown constructively critiqued her pics and said that my dad needed to change his makeup, since blue around a clown's eyes frightens children.

That's what I thought of when I saw the decapitated clown head under plastic with the blue X's for eyes. A DEAD CLOWN oh holy cats.

Clowns also have the unfortunate effect of reminding me of John Wayne Gacy. Scary.

I'm not afraid of clowns (most of the time - depends on the clown), but these cakes are HORRIFYING. Like they said on LJ's Mock_The_Stupid comm about the cut-in-half clown: "The sad thing is, if they'd rotated the knife about half an inch to the right, they'd have been just fine."

Word Verification: diumbas. Yes, the people who decorated these things were diumbasses.

I think that S. Hunt is just way ahead of his time, in 8 or 9 years he's gonna be the raddest stoner in college.

And as for the clown cakes, we have several clownaphobes at work, I was a clown for Halloween last year, my favorite co-worker was one the year before. I think this year I am going to go a little more subtle with the clown massacre cake. That should hit the spot. Hehehe...

My father-in-law let my son watch It when he was four. Four years of nightmares later, my son is still not allowed to spend the night there without me giving my father-in-law a serious warning about what my son can and can't watch.

The ice cream cone clowns reminds me of Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Boy, that was a freaky movie.

Speaking of freaky, ten years back during a 4th of July parade, a bunch of clowns walked by, and of course one had to come over and sit on my lap. They're supposed to be for the kiddos, not chatting up and squatting on twenty year-old girls. I wonder if most men become clowns so they can try and score and still come off as "innocent." I got news for them: it doesn't work. It just makes them more creepy and desperate.

I've never gotten why people find clowns creepy. I went to several circuses when I was younger, and always enjoyed the clowns. Plus, I grew up in Chicagoland, home of Bozo. It'd be interesting to see someone with a fear of clowns see my vintage early-80s Bozo Buckets set.

Now mannequins, THEY creeped me out when I was little. So did Santa. Clowns, never.

I think the kid's first name is Scaredyet and his middle initial is ? Since his parents couldn't change his last name they had to settle for traumatizing him in many other ways. I bet we'll be hearing about this kid in the future. Scaredyet? will grow up to become a serial killer. But since his only victims are clowns he will become a hero to Coulrophobiacs everywhere.

I am not a fan of clowns- actually I hate them!!! I took a Wilton decorating course where I was required to make one of those frosting bodied creepers, but refused to put that icky plastic head pic on. So what does good ol' teach do- sticks one on backwards!!! scarred for life by a confection clown!

I used to watch It when I was younger (like 5). It was one of my favorite movies (I don't remember why). I also used to love those clown ice cream cones! Every time we used to pass a Baskin Robins I would beg my mom for one.

Upon further reflection, here is what I believe happened with the S. Hunt cake: S. Hunt was the name of the customer who ordered it. The cake was only supposed to say "Happy Birthday" but for some unknown reason the wreckerator decided to add the customer's name to the cake.

Really really really should have had a warning and space between title and pictures....Pregnant cakes. Babies on carrots cakes. Bad airbrushing. I'm cool with that. Murderous life sucking clowns whose only goal in life is to slowly kill you while they laugh? Not fun.Just saying.Love the blog.

I read IT before I saw the movie. I was maybe 13 at the time, and the book gave me the most horrible nightmares I'd ever had. Even at 18 I had trouble reading it without ending up that way.

FF7, on the other hand, I'd rather not go through, not because it was scary, but because it was terrible. Sorry, but people gushing over Sephiroth always makes me groan, since the series has had much more effective and awesome villains...

I saw a cake very similar to the first one at Publix the other day. The clowns looked like they had been flattened by a semi truck. I was going to take a picture and send it, but there was a bakery employee watching. I didn't feel like explaining what I was going to do with the picture.

My roommate would like the Pennywise cake. She loves horror movies, and we constantly quote that one. Maybe I should stick with the less-disturbing Indiana Jones movies if I get her a movie-inspired cake.

If his name is Sephiroth, he officially wins. I wanted to name my son Sephiroth and, to be honest, as he is a major video game player himself, he would be overjoyed if he had the name. -looks lovingly at her Sephiroth figurine on her desk-

I know what you mean about kids and horror movies. I'm a balloon twister, and I once had an 8-year-old ask me for a balloon chainsaw because his favorite movie was, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." I made it for him while telling him, "I have two questions: the original or the re-make, and do I need to call child services?"

Every clown I met at parties and events, they were very nice. They provide a valued service that most of us couldn't even try to do much less succeed at it, so why the mean-spirited jabs at clowns being creepy and weird? I only see that type in the movies.

I think it might be Shirley, I mean, if it was a boy, maybe the decorator didn't want to embarrass him, so s/he decided to do him a favour.Then again, maybe the decorator is a hater/phobic of Shirley Temple, or a different Shirley. I don't have any other ideas, Shirley was just the first thing to pop into my head.

Wow...I love coulrophobia cakes. That cake looks amazing. i'm loving your blog! everything is so pretty and delicious looking. i look forward to reading. I've made this now two times. It is fabulous! My favorite restaurant makes and amazing coulrophobia cake and I've been trying for a year now to find a recipe that even comes close to it. This is the best I've found so far. It is so dreamy. I'm sure it'll be a big hit with the kids! thank you for posting and sharing it.

Ok, that It cake is seriously freaky. I was forced to watch the movie as a child (horrible older brothers). That's just awful. "I know you want to have a fun time of your birthday, S. Hunt, and you will. Just remember what we told you about going near the sewers!"Maybe the baker had two cakes exactly like that, and the kids were both named "Sam" or something. They had to be distinguished somehow, I guess.

I absolutely hate clowns. They are completely terrifying. Also, Sephiroth is a wicked cool name. That would be a totally awesome name(in case you haven't noticed, I love final fantasy.) Further along those lines, I think Serendipity would count as bad.

I know you haven't had a comment on this one for a year, but I totally get how u feel about horror movies and roller coasters. I'm actually young myself, but I can't STAND horror movies, and my parents payed me 20 bucks to ride a loopy roller coaster ( that a 7 year old was riding) :D

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