Resurrection Mall available now from Down & Out Books.
Look for the newest Nick Forte novel, Bad Samaritan, in January, also from Down & Out Books.

One Bite at a Time

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A True Mystery

It started out like a normal Saturday: grocery shopping, run a couple of errands, then home for lunch. Last Saturday’s first errand was a trip to the Post Office to pick up Express Mail that had been waiting since Wednesday.

It was a cardboard mailer, standard letter size. A book, I thought, though why someone would spend $25.15 to Express Mail a book for review was beyond me.I opened the envelope walking to the car. No book. Two pieces of cardboard stiffened the envelope to protect the small package inside, wrapped in the front page of Tuesday’s San Diego paper. Inside the paper was a microcassette recorder. Taped to the recorder was a note written in a feminine hand:

Play me.

I had my finger on the button when my inner mystery fan kicked in. Isn’t this the scene where the unsuspecting galoot blows up and they roll the opening credits? I put the recorder back in the envelope and called the Beloved Spousal Equivalent and Research Assistant. She said not to push the button. She’d look into it. I gave her the name and return address and went about my business. If mailing it didn’t blow it up, driving it to the supermarket shouldn’t cause any problems.

The return address was a beachfront condo in San Diego, currently for sale. (Good luck with that.) The recorder looked normal, if a little scuffed. Still, I didn’t recognize the name or address, my address was in an unusual format, and spending $25 to ensure that only I could pick it up didn’t sit right. Probably too cautious, but some mistakes you only get to make once.

The FBI referred us to the Postal Inspectors. The first guy I talked to asked all the expected questions: describe the envelope, who do you work for, any reason to think someone would want to do you harm? When none of those answers alarmed him, he said I should play the tape to hear what it said.

“Excuse me,” I said. “I don’t mean to be paranoid, but I could have done that without involving the federal government. If this thing blows up, I’m going to be pissed.”

“WAIT!! DON’T PUSH THE BUTTON!!”

He hooked me up with a Dangerous Materials Investigator, who asked me all the same questions, plus a few more. Listened to what I had to say, decided it was worth coming over with his cool tools. Used a sniffer to check for biological, chemical, or radiation hazards. Negative. The BSERA was bummed. She thought a positive test would earn us a free housecleaning.

The agent took three X-rays, let us look at them over his shoulder.

“You know what this looks like. Mr. King?”

‘Yeah. A tape recorder.”

I played the tape while he packed up. A woman and a man went through what sounded like the first two pages of a story or screenplay. The woman was a writer; the man could have been a shrink or a cop. She told him about Julia, a character in the woman’s first story. About how she saw Julia—not a woman who looked like Julia, but Julia—talking to a hotel desk clerk, using the exact words as in the story. Told him how it couldn’t be a coincidence, because Julia then did exactly what she did in the story: took out a gun and blew her head off. This was the woman’s curse. For over twenty years, her characters had been coming to life. Not just to her, or on the page. For real.

That’s all that was on the tape, and all I know. True story. Swear to God.

Thanks, Addlepated. I read the thread over there, and I appreciate you letting me know. I had to look up ARG to find out what it meant, and I still can't believe someone thought it was worth $25 plus a used tape player to involve me. I'll have to file this away to use in one of my own stories sometime.

Out of curiosity, what (if anything) was written on your tape? The other tapes have had a number / number on theirs. Some of the number ones have been very European in their pronounced serifs - mine is "2/1": http://www.flickr.com/photos/addlepated/3350287566/

Hey, I'm also following this over at unfiction. Just out of curiosity, any reason why someone would mail you clues? I'm guessing you havent been involved in any ARGs before...so its curious why the PM sent it to you. Maybe you just got lucky, who knows?

Do tell us if you get anything else a tad odd, another helping hand is always welcome.

Addle,The marking on my tape definitely fall into the "1/2" category. I wasn't sure until I read your thread last night, as the one is an odd shape, but, based on what I read and saw there, I'm confident that's what it says.

Capslock,I can only guess, as I didn't even know what ARG was until last night. I have had a handful of short stories published, and have written over a hundred books reviews of mysteries and thrillers for a web site. (www.newmysteryreader.com) Someone must have picked me up frm there; there's enougn information on my profile here that my address could have been found by a simply White Pages search. (Why they spent $25 to mail it to me is anyone's guess.)

I'll be happy to pass along anything else I might receive or hear about. I have too many irons in the fire to get actively involved myself, but I'll help if I can.

It looks like you have a nice community over there at Unfiction. Have fun and good luck.

Hey Dana - one last little thing. There's a barcode sticker inside the battery compartment. If you get a chance, could you please let me know what your "Device ID" and "Part No" numbers are? Some of us who got recorders were able to use ours to decode a TinyURL, but I'm wondering if there's another. Thanks!

Lots of ways to order Res Mall

Worst Enemies, Book 1 of the Penns River series

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Grind Joint, Book 2 of the Penns River series

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Forte 4: A Dangerous Lesson Available Now! Click the image below to purchase.

Chicago Private Investigator Nick Forte’s official task is to find out what he can about Jennifer Vandenbusch’s new suitor, who fails to measure up in the eyes of the family matriarch, Jennifer’s grandmother. This seems par for the course for Forte, as his personal life has been leading him through a series of men who treat women badly, though none nearly as badly as the Thursday Night Slasher. Forte lives on the fringes of the investigation run by his old friend Sonny Ng until elements of Forte’s case and life dovetail with the Slasher investigation, leading to Forte discovering more about the crimes—and himself—than he wanted to know.

The Man in the Window

"...we see him getting rougher, tougher and darker book by book. There are multiple twists in the end, two cool sidekicks, good action scenes and some pretty nifty Chanderlisms in this book, adding up to a perfect PI read"--Sons of Spade blog

The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of (Nick Forte 2)

It's a kind of authorial magic that The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of works as a tribute and as a story, and that neither aspect interferes in the least with the other… I can imagine this book finding its way into a class on writing crime fiction as an example of how to pay tribute to one's predecessors while at the same time writing a story that can stand on its own. It's an impressive accomplishment.--- Peter Rozovsky, Detectives Beyond Borders, December 18, 2014

About Me

Two of my Nick Forte Private investigator novels (A SMALL SACRIFICE and THE MAN IN THE WINDOW) received nominations for Shamus Awards. I also write a series of police procedurals set in the economically depressed town of Penns River PA, published by Down & Out Books. A non-fiction essay, “Chandler’s Heroes,” appeared in Spinetingler Magazine online in October of 2013.
I live in Laurel MD with The Beloved Spouse.