Saturday, March 14, 2009

Part 1: Fight. Fuck. Dance. Destroy.

Okay, I've had like no time to sit down and write about these shows I promised I'd write about. A lot happened to me today (meaning nothing happened to me today when a lot SHOULD have happened), so I'm gonna separate the shows in a different post than the events of today. Thus, I will have a very different attitude from post to post. Here's part one in today's posts: Fight. Fuck. Dance. Destroy.

So you think you've seen a good show? You probably don't know what a good show is...that is...unless you've seen D4, Propagandhi, or The AKA's. Granted, I loved watching Paint It Black and The Bouncing Souls, too (Ruiner was also good, but I had no connection to them), but the former were fucking amazing. D4 and Propagandhi are my favorite bands, so I'm biased, but what's not amazing about Paddy telling his bible story? This is how it went:

"So I thought the last Pope was a good Pope. You didn't hear much from him, so I figured, 'Hey, he's leaving everyone alone, he's probably a good Pope.' However, this more recent Pope I heard said that global warming is a publicity hoax. We shouldn't worry about taking care of the planet, if it's doomed, then it will happen regardless of if we help take care of it. He did say, however, that gay marriage is bringing the end of the world. Global warming is made up, but if two guys want to suck each others' dicks, get married, and get a tax cut, that's going to bring armaggedon.

"Because The Bible said that being gay is a horrible sin, it's going to end the world. Well, The Bible is a load of bull shit anyway. [lots of crowd cheering] I know, I know. I'm preaching to the converted crowd, but The Bible isn't even what it was when they found it 1,000 years ago. It's been translated like a dozen times. And all it really is is a book that someone dug up 1,000 years ago and said, 'Whoa! So that's where we came from!'

"So Billy and I...and all of here at Dillinger Four Incorporated...we're going to bury some Batman comics....Praise baby Batman!"

Fucking amazing. Who comes up with that kind of shit? D4, that's who. I want to see Disturbed come up with that kind of bullshit at a show. You won't hear it from Disturbed. Why not? Because they don't know how to do anything other than play their songs and be rockstars. Maybe I sound like a close-minded prick, but have you listened to D4? No. Have I listened to Disturbed? Who's close minded here, again?

Here's something everyone in the world needs to know and I'm sure will soon figure out on their own: The A.K.A.'s are amazing and they are everywhere! Here's a few examples of what Mike, their lead singer, said:

"Man, there's a lot of fuckin' white people in here!"

"Yeah, we're pretty sweet. Don't be that impressed. We do it every night; it's our job. It's called charisma! You can't buy that at Hot Topic, kids!"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say there were a bunch of black people in here!"

Then there was Propagandhi who were Propagandhi. Chris Hannah in his baseball cap and sleeveless t-shirt. Todd is sick with something, so they didn't play any of his songs, except for "Fuck the Border," in which Dan from Paint It Black came out and sang for. It was probably the most violent song I've ever witnessed live, as a room packed wall-to-wall with angst-filled punk kids screamed "FUCK THE BORDER! FUCK THE BORDER! FUCK THE BORDER! FUCK THE BORDER!" Dan is also viscious and ripped, so watching him sing the verses kneeling over the monitor speakers was fucking badass in itself.

Dave Hauss of The Loved Ones and ex-Paint It Black was there, too. He played a song with The Bouncing Souls. I wish I'd have gotten to meet him as I did nearly everyone else there. On that note, Todd, Jord, Paddy, Billy, Andy, Dan, Josh, Jared, Chachi, Mike, and Michael were all very nice to talk to. For the record, I still love talking with Eric Funk, I just didn't get the opportunity to this time. The venue, The Ottobar, was awesome. Like Paddy was just walking around before the show started and complimented my Toys That Kill shirt. Dan from Paint It Black thanked me numerous times for coming out to the show and remembered commenting me on MySpace. Jord and I talked about where he got his cymbals and drums from. Todd and I talked about MySpace being a losing battle for bands trying to go without one and about NOFX and Bigwig and the new Propagandhi album. Jared from Paint It Black, Alex, and I talked about playing in marching band and appreciating punk music at the same time. Josh from Paint It Black and I talked about Dillinger Four and how necessary it is to see them at all possible opportunities. Andy from Paint It Black and I also talked about Dillinger Four and about us coming all the way from WV to see them (which was a common topic for a lot of people). Chachi, Michael and I talked about Angel loving The AKA's and I told them that she requested they come to Chicago and I understood why they are her favorite band. Everything was amazing.

Did I mention the people are amazing? They are. The obnoxious, drunk NOFX fans were even tolerable in small doses. I was just glad I wasn't the guy whose hair they were spitting in. And all punk girls have boyfriends, did I mention that? They do. They're all attractive, too.

I was first in line the first night and third in line the second. Alex and I talked with the people in line around us. On the second night, the girl behind us knew who The Vankills were and who Drew was. Small world, I suppose. And on all of the "No Smoking" signs inside was written "The Vankills" in red Sharpie. Very funny.

Brendan, who lives at The Warren House, where I Forget played in Frostburg a few weeks ago, was at the Propagandhi/Paint It Black/Ruiner show. It was a nice start to what I planned on being the "best week ever." Part two will cover why that didn't happen in the end.