Handling common bad habits of your kid

HELLO PARENT
Friday, 17 August 2018

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To have a break from our routine life, my friends and I made a plan to go for a short day trip along with our kids to a nearby lake. We booked a mini bus, arranged food and planned for games that we would play there. On Saturday morning, all of us were very excited before leaving for the trip. Kids excitedly got into the bus and selected their seats; some were sitting with their friends while others chose to sit with their moms. Journey began and the kids started playing among themselves and we started talking with each other.

I was talking to my friend Riya and it was only a few minutes into the journey when her son who was playing with his friend started calling her mumma, mumma and directed her face with his hands towards him so that she talks to him. She ignored him once however when he continued, she scolded him. He stayed quiet for barely 5 minutes after which his tantrums increased even more. Riya was feeling embarrassed by his son's behavior. One of our other friends, Karishma sensed it and calmed him down. Riya seemed to be very concerned, so Karishma tried to explain her that a child picks up bad habit because he finds relief/pleasure by doing it, sometimes to seek attention, other times to express nervousness, fatigue, anger. So, to help a child get rid of a bad habit, root cause needs to be known and cured.

All children need and seek our attention, however sometimes they get over demanding and don't even let parents talk to anyone else. They either shout out loud or like Riya's son turn their parents' face towards them to gain attention. Karishma explained to Riya that they do it without realizing that it is not good so if we shout at them to stop it, they might not really understand and even show more tantrums. The best way to calm them at this time is to give them a feel that you are interested in listening to them but first you will finish your work and then you will listen to them for sure. She also suggested when he is throwing tantrums it is better not to talk to him immediately else he will get a message that by throwing tantrums he can have his way and will continue to behave like this. He might grow up to be a person who cannot tolerate divided attention. Though it is not easy to stop him like this in just one attempt however after 2-3 times he will understand that he needs to wait for his chance to speak.

I could relate to what Karishma said because while I am busy shopping and attention towards Adi gets divided, he starts throwing tantrums. At times, he also sits down on the floor and shouts. In public, it is even more embarrassing. However, no matter how much I scold him or try to bait him he does not stop. When I stand near him and do not give any response he stops. But it gets really difficult at times to stand there quietly while little one is showing endless tantrums because every passerby gazes at you with a bad mother look. Sometimes, to make him feel involved, I engage him in minor tasks like getting something from the low lying shelf of the super store for mumma. At times, I also give him something to eat.

While we were discussing all this, we could hear one of the moms talking to her daughter who was sitting alone. She was sucking thumb and twirling her hair as she was feeling lonely and found this soothing. Her mom was telling her very patiently, "My Aahana is a big girl now and big girls don't suck their thumb". She also gave her few toys to play with so that both the hands remain engaged. Really, lot of patience is required to help a child get rid of bad habits and also a lot of thought goes in to ensure that it is done in the right way.

I turned around to see other kids in the bus when I noticed a small boy happily looking out of the window, picking his nose, playing with the dugout material and then put it on a window glass. It appears gross but kids do without realizing it. They also don't know that this way they are spreading germs and it is harmful to them. Parents need to explain them this and not just say, 'yuck', 'bad', 'dirty' as kids might not always understand that the habit is bad and might think they are called bad or dirty. Some kids even pick their nose and then eat it. Parents can ask kids to use tissue to clean the nose and then dump it along with tissue in the trash bin.

Our bus halted for 15 minutes so that we could freshen up. Kids excitedly got down from the bus and started happily moving around in the open space. After 15 minutes when everyone settled down in the bus, I started counting the people in the bus to ensure all have got in. While head count was going on, I noticed a little nervous girl biting her nails. On asking her, she asked for her mom. Though we told her that her mom will be back in 5 minutes, little girl continued to bite her nails in nervousness. However as soon as her mom got into the bus she stopped biting nails and happily rushed to hug her. Many kids bite their nails when they are nervous. So, parents need to find out the problem which is troubling the child and help to solve it. They also need to be told that it is not a good habit to bite nails as it can hurt them and dirt from their nails can get into their stomach and also sometimes unintentionally they may swallow small piece of nail. They need to be reminded repeatedly to help them get rid of this bad habit.

Most of the habits go away with time however we still need to guide the child and work patiently towards helping him get rid of bad habits.

Share in the comments below if you feel your child is carrying any of the bad habits.

Comments

Radhika Arora

how to make him get rid of thumb sucking...plss suggest

how to make him get rid of thumb sucking...plss suggest

Priyanka Singh

helpful article

helpful article

kanika neerav

my child plays less with toys n throw dem more..sumtimes i just loose my patience.1 or 2 times i said him dat ul get a slap from me n now he speaks d

my child plays less with toys n throw dem more..sumtimes i just loose my patience.1 or 2 times i said him dat ul get a slap from me n now he speaks d same which is very embarrasing.

@Radhika : Children suck their thumb becaue they find it soothing. You can try following to break his habit of thumb sucking:
-everytime he sucks his

@Radhika : Children suck their thumb becaue they find it soothing. You can try following to break his habit of thumb sucking:
-everytime he sucks his thumb explain him, big boys don't suck their thumb. You can also tell him, if he will do it, his teeth will be crooked. Show him pictures of some people with crooked teeth.
-engage him with some toys so that both his hands are busy. This will weaken his habit.
-if he has habit of thumb sucking at bed time, give him soft toy or cuddly blanket to hold.
-try to understand the triggers as this can help to solve the underlying cause.
Try not to shout at him and don't put something bitter on his thumb as this will be like a punishment to him. This habit goes away eventually with time.

@Kanika: Children throw many tantrums to gain our attention however, if we get angry at this time, it will get even worse. May be he is doing it becau

@Kanika: Children throw many tantrums to gain our attention however, if we get angry at this time, it will get even worse. May be he is doing it because he wants to play with you.
Try playing with him if it is possible at that time or if you are busy, tell him that you are busy and will play with him once you are done with it. At times, you can also firmly tell him, if he does not want to play with the toys you will put it back.
Children at this age imitate what they hear and say. So, we need to be very careful with our words. To stop him from imitating, you can also tell him that only monkeys imitate and not good boys.Show him that you are upset when he speaks like that and mumma will not slap you but does not like when you throw away toys.

one bad habit i can count in my son would be , him hitting his younger cousin sister...sometimes whn he is engrossed with his blocks or something an

one bad habit i can count in my son would be , him hitting his younger cousin sister...sometimes whn he is engrossed with his blocks or something and his sister comes to play with him , first he would jus tell her go away and if she still dsnt listen then hd wud just hit her or push her or try to hurg her in some way.. i can sense tht mayb he gets irritated but wot to do about the hitting bit..

@Sanna: Children learn many of their first lessons of life at home with their siblings or cousins. Your son is just trying to protect his things. Howe

@Sanna: Children learn many of their first lessons of life at home with their siblings or cousins. Your son is just trying to protect his things. However, it is a little tricky to handle when cousins fight at home. Refrain yourself from hitting or scolding your son at this time. However, you need to regularly explain him that hitting someone is not a good habit. Patiently, give him examples, like how he wants to play with mumma when mumma is busy. Ask him, does mumma hit you at that time? Tell him her little sister will get hurt if he hits her and elder brothers always protect their younger sisters. This way he will also learn to protect his people.
You can also tell him how much fun it is to share and play together. Again, help him understand about sharing with real life examples. So, when your little sister comes to you, ask her to sit with you and see what you are making. At times, when things go out of control, you can ask your son to take blocks to his room and play with it there. Let kids resolve it on their own.

Kanika ji same here sach a gud ans mam you giveing me very nice and helpful

Kanika ji same here sach a gud ans mam you giveing me very nice and helpful

Khushbu Pruthi

Very helpful

Very helpful

Principal

Generally in small nuclear families we bring up our first born kids as prince/princesses.Situation dramatically changes as soon as one more kid be it

Generally in small nuclear families we bring up our first born kids as prince/princesses.Situation dramatically changes as soon as one more kid be it sibling or friend's or relative's kid comes into the picture. For that matter even a stranger's kid.Now all of a sudden we want our only child to share his belongings with these kids and if the kid resists the tussle between parent and kid as well as the other kids begins.Imagine what a stress this poor cornered child undergoes. Solution is to from the very beginning inculcate the habit of sharing and caring. Not to over pamper the kids.When two kids are playing observe from a distance don't interfere unless they are hurting each other.Even when your kid is alone give space.Avoid giving continuous instructions.Let them grow and develop into independent individuals,let them make decisions.

my child wont chew while eating food. she ll take 15 to 20 min toh finish 1 bite. i m fed up. somtimes i scold. smetme slap .plz suggest and 1 more thing and i felt that my daughter wont jell with other kids. she wont reply anyone if some other person wheather its my frnds or my cousins ask anything toh her then ahe start sgaring them and wont say even a single word .plz sugges