“When you dick-heads go on strike no-one will notice”

“Over 5 million public sector workers are muttering about strike action.

Go ahead, you greedy, grasping, selfish people.

This action is not about a “living wage”, is it? No. It’s about having the taxpayer guarantee your pension. Well guess what? This taxpayer is fed up to the back teeth of parting company with ever-increasing amounts of his hard-earned coin to ensure that YOU have a great retirement. I won’t be living high on the hog either. But here’s the thing: I already know that. I already know that I will struggle mightily, just like millions of pensioners already do. Do you hear them whining? Me neither. Nowhere near as much as they should be whining. They worked harder than you do, they did not trot around with a sense of entitlement. They did not take absolutely every second off sick that they could get away with in each and every year of their employment. In fact, in the last 15 years we find that public sector workers take off more time due to “illness” than any other sector. Four times as much, you idle gits.

There are 5 million of you. 5,000,000. FIVE MILLION.

WTF do you all do? In amongst your number are unwanted administrators, unrelenting jobsworths, unnecessary Outreach Coordinators For The Emancipation Of One-Legged Blind Slovakian Lesbians With Learning Disabilities With A Penchant For Stamp-Collecting, and the like. I am tired of working like a dog to support you. I’m not even going to get into those lazy bastards that can, but absolutely will not work. Chip in, or piss off. It’s that simple. 2.5 million of you right there. This gets worse! I am supporting 7.5 million of you now. FFS!

We know where we are with the idle and the indolent.

But you, you with your hands out, you are something else.

Newsflash: I don’t want you to earn anything, far less give you a pay-rise, a golden handshake or a gold-plated pension. You don’t deserve any of those things. Wake up and smell the reality: you are not owed a damn thing. You are responsible for yourself. I should not be forced to carry you.

YOU are a drain on the economy. YOU produce nothing. YOU do not add to my life but YOU do subtract from it. Because of YOU I am penalised. I have to part company with over 80% of my salary every year. If it isn’t wasted on you, paying your wages while you sit on your arse at home claiming to be “stressed”, it is wasted on the prosecution of illegal wars, or is spent on the Commons wine cellar, or iPads for binmen, and a thousand million other useless things.

I have some sympathy. You grew up being taught that if you wanted anything, all you had to do was put out your hand. So that you weren’t offended, someone would thrust my cash in your grasping little hand. You are entitled, are you not? I blame the last government for this feckless, irresponsible notion, and I blame the current government for not getting this notion out of your heads. I blame your parents for allowing you to nurture the idea that the world owes you a living. It does not. I blame you for never growing up and realising that to get ahead, you have to sacrifice some things. The very first thing you have to get rid of is that imaginary bubble that you think will keep you safe and snug and warm. The world is a harsh place, it is time you got to grips with that.

Your government is the criminal in all of this. They are the ones who tax everything that moves, and just to be sure, they tax everything that doesn’t. They think OUR money is theirs, and what’s worse, so do YOU.

And in amongst you are true heroes: hard-working nurses and doctors, dedicated and caring teachers, brave Fire & Rescue workers, courageous Forces personnel and yes, even good coppers. I do not begrudge those people anything. (I’d prefer to pay a local tax to fund the people that stand by ready to help me rather than fling a big chunk into a central pot, which is badly managed, but other than that, I agree they are necessary).

It’s the pen-pushers, the pecksniffs, the bureaucrats, the tobacco wardens, the traffic wardens, plastic cops, all of you with made-up job titles, and several million other wasters that stick in my craw. I need none of you.

None.

Got that?

When you dick-heads go on strike no-one will notice. Least of all me.

Hopefully, your pathetic government will realise that it could shave down the public sector “work” force and the taxpayers will be far better off.

But hey, while you are on strike, you don’t get paid, m’kay? I will expect a full rebate for the “services” you withdrew. You don’t provide, so you get no pay. I get no services, so I will not pay for them. How do you like them apples?