Saturday, 2 April 2011

Evil Atheist Ants

We've recently had a comment likening atheists to ants rudely gobbling up all the sugar in a bowl without saying thank you to the great Sugar Daddy. This was leapt upon by another poster (who should be credited for the prelude) and an epic tale begins...

Prelude:

Ants in a sugar bowl who laugh and giggle at the Thoughtful Ants who say things like " I reckon there's a lot more where this came from"
" Where's your evidence" sneer the Adamant Atheist Ants, " I suppose you think there's a giant Hand somewhere holding a big bag of these eternal sweet white pebbles. Ha Ha Ha!"

Suddenly a giant ray of light came down form the heavens and incinerated one of these ants, one who praised the great Sugar Daddy and the bringer of sweet things.

'Why did this happen?' asked the chief ant in the funny hat. 'He always made sure to thank the Sugar Daddy and he obeyed all the commands he set out on this foil wrapper he sent us. He always stored his sugar in a cool, dry place like we were asked - why has he been punished so?'

'Well,' said another ant in a slightly smaller hat, 'our bringer of sweet things moves in mysterious ways. Perhaps this is all part of his plan and a punishment for that time he ate some bread - the foil wrapper says 'GLUTEN FREE' on it, so our lord must be angry.'

In other sugar bowls, many ants less fortunate than this group ate from one solitary sugar cube. The bringer of sweet things had not been so kind to them, but nobody knows why. Some ants in larger sugar bowls think this is a wonderful construct made by a divine hand, but they have not yet answered why these barren bowls exist.

Other ants, however, bring sugar to these other less fortunate ants - both in the name of the Sugar Daddy and from their own kindness. Both groups deserve to be praised and others should follow their example, unlike the crueler ones who insist these circumstances are a divine judgment.