Arf Arf Arf

yell it out as loud as you can, regardless of where you are, or wether this is the best time to say it.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Shadow Tail

Awwww, isn't she cute? Her name's Shadowtail, I've known her since fourth grade. She comes every once in a while to eat stuff from my hand. She doesn't come much any more, but she still recognizes me. I wuv her like hell.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

~*.`'Sweetened*`.'.' *with*.," *Splenda*'`,.'~

If you ever buy ice cream, promise me one thing. Never buy ice cream sweetened with Splenda. Especially Edy's chocoate & vanilla swirl with "New Improved Flavor!" That stuff is nasty. I had a bowl yesterday and I could still taste it for hours later. What is Splenda anyways? It tastes like sugar with the sweet part hollowed out and what's left tastes like... dead sugar. That's right. Dead. D-E-A-D dead. And you know who killed the sugar? The Yuuzhan Vong. They know that everything good out there must die, that's why they killed chewie. *sniff*Let's give a moment of silence to the brave hero who saved the life of some stupid kid whose father was a nerf-herder.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Click to save stuff

Click the little monkey to get to the site - it's got all these buttons that you click each day to save a bunch of acres and everything. It's nice to know someone who has power like that cares about the trees. Seeing George Bush's"Healthy Forests" Act, hiswetlands scheme anddrilling in Alaska for oil, it saddens me to think someone like him can have so much power. It's like he knows crap about the environment and he's making stuff up. If this keeps up, America will end up as a pile of rubble by 2008. If he'd gone against a tree-hugging drugged-up hippie, I'd have voted for the hippie.

Monday, July 25, 2005

I hate ROTK

I hate Return of the King. The ending is so sick and twisted. Why'd Frodo have to leave? It's so stupid. They should just all live happily ever after. I hate Frodo. Why couldn't he stay with all his friends? I hate Gandalf and Bilbo and Galadriel and Elrond for going with him. I hate Arwen for giving him her spot on the ship. It's evil. Tolkien's evil for writing the stupid story and PJ is evil for directing it. I hate sad endings.=

Saturday, July 23, 2005

In 1976, the Viking 1 Orbiter went to Mars to send back photographs of the Red Planet. Nothing disturbingly strange, just research. Viking photographed a part of Mars called Cydonia, and that's when they found the Face. It was a monument about 1.6 miles long, 1.2 miles wide, and 1,300 feet tall. It closely resembled a human face, with a Sphinx-like headdress. While some say it was made naturally, or that it was just a trick of light, others say the clues are too obvious to dismiss.

Other links to the Face and ancient Egypt have been found as well. Within 12 miles of the Face are strange geometric shapes resembling pyramids clustered together. It seemed like a city built by a civilization long ago. The pyramids located near the Sphinx of Giza on Earth are old. Some say, older than civilization. How else could humans have built such huge and perfect shapesat the time? The three pyramids perfectly mirror the stars in Orion's Belt with the exact same orientation. Also, NASA consultant Richard Hoagland, using an instrument, has found that when split, one half of the face is the exact image of a cat, while the other half is of a lion, which has a connection to the Sphinx, which has the body of a lion and face of a human. If they are right, what does this mean? If something drove the Martians out of Mars, what will happen to us next?

Friday, July 22, 2005

The fire salamander

It hides in the deep woods of camp. Always lurking, flashing green and violet patterns. When you haven't showered in a while and smell reeky, you get too close... KABAM! It explodes. No longer green and purple no more. Also red.

I dunno. My friend Kris went to camp and saw them. I don't know what they look like really. Maybe something like this:

Complete with grenade pin. Yeah, they really exploded when she threw them at her brother.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Story

Part 1

The immigration officer pulled Gabriel over. "Miss... you can't bring that across the border." Gabriel eyed him angrily. "It's mine, and I'm going to keep it." He sighed. Why did they always have to make it harder? Why couldn't anyone just cross over happy? He brought her into the security room. "I'm sorry, but it's against the law." Gabriel glared. It was hers, the Government shouldn't be able to just take it away. She held it firmly in her arms. "I'm not letting it go. You can keep me as long as you want, but I'm not leaving without it." The officer sighed again. He hated his job. Day after day, he faced long hours of stubborn people who were angry at him. But he knew he couldn't get a different job. He was banned on both sides of the border. On either side, he had commited a different crime, and as far as he knew, the government on either side couldn't do anything about it. As long as they thought he was on the other side, he was safe. There was nowhere for him to go. All he could do was stay in the middle, always keeping his secret from coworkers. As far as he knew, there was no way out. Not until both countries figured out that they had both been lied to. Gabriel knew now there was no way out of this. She had been found out, and the Government wouldn't let her get away with this. She had known that people who tried to smuggle things across borders had to pay a fine. She had no money, and didn't know where to get any. She had no family, no friends. She just lived by herself in the old cabin that had belonged to her grandfather. She feeled the egg gently. It was warm, although the room was freezing cold. Outside the snow was drizzling. She didn't want to go out there again. She had been so close to getting a friend. It wasn't unfair.

...

Hmmm... I don't know what kind of story this will be. I don't even know what's happening next. I'm just making this up as I go.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Mrs. Incredible vs. Spiderman

If Mrs. Incredible had a death match with Spiderman, who would come out alive in the end? The reason I'm saying Mrs. Incredible and not Mr. Incredible is because all he has is brute strength. I think Spiderman's beaten someone like that before. Don't remember who, but I do. So anyway, this is what I think will happen:

An ode to push-button photo publishing

My Review of Godzilla 1998

Not that anyone cares, because it came out 8 years ago. But what the heck, they showed it on CBC two nights ago.That movie was kinda cool. It doesn't deserve the 4-ish-5 it got on IMDB, but then again, I'm not familiar with the whole story. Their story wasn't the best though. I mean, the monster comes up, scares people, lays eggs and mysteriously disappears somewhere. The eggs hatch, chase people around a building. Then the people escape and the building collapses, killing all the baby dinosaur things. Right when that happens, Godzilla reappears, chases the same people, then dies. Could've been better. I mean, the part where the building is filled with thousands of hatching eggs was cool, but cut off from the rest of the story. I remember watching Jurrasic Park a long time ago seeing the same scene. The real question is, who ripped off whom? The whole time, I don't see why Godzilla was so bent on chasing their car. If I were a hug monster, I'd hardly even notice. They didn't let him smash enough stuff. In the car chasing scene, he was almost being (ugh) careful! Also, the acting was alright overall, but Nick (the worm guy) could've used a bit more practice. That's it for complaints. Now I describe the super-awesome parts!That part in the beginning was super cool, when they hypnotized the Japanese guy into telling the monster's name by waving a lighter left and right. I gotta try that sometime. The special effects were awesome, even though you can tell they're obviously fake. But it's 1998, so it's brilliant. Another great part was The Eye. You remember in Shrek, when the dragon's eye opens right behind Donkey when they first get there? Shrek probrably ripped that off from them. I also like how they have those letters that show up at the bottom of the screen that say New York City, stuff like that. Reminds me of that one movie, that I want to see but I've never seen. Dunno if it's The Terminator or Mission Impossible. Tons of other stuff I want to ramble about, so I'll make a list.*That foreign guy wanted to get past the security by looking American, so he chewed gum and did an Elvis impression*The Echo-4 plane thought he'd lost Godzilla, when it comes from below and chomps up the plane.*I want a machine gun. Dt-t-t-t-t! B-jew!*I've seen that foreign guy before. He looks like Ray's brother, Robert*The ending was teh awesome*That's it, I'm done.

Last night, I saw the very end of Mission Impossible. I had no idea what was going on, but it looked so cool. That foreign guy looked like the familiar guy from Godzilla, so I went on IMDB and it's the same guy! That's freak! I still dunno where I know him though. If you're still reading this, you're too bored.

"Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV."

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Dude, where's my summer?

This summer has been teh sux. Summer's supposed to be lazy and long and hot. Now, half of it's over, and what have I done? Everything. It's not supposed to be this way though. I'm supposed to be lying on the floor going mad from boredom. But am I? Noooooooooo. I'm blogging. I'm actually doing something. It didn't use to be like this. I used to watch reruns of old shows that I used to like, like Barney because there's nothing else on. And while watching, I'd go "Stupid kids, laugh now. One day, you'll be one of Them. The Authority workers who do nothing all day but tell us to stay inside to hide from some evil rain cloud you made up, named Ozone. And when we stay in, you're all dancing outside collecting our mushrooms and there's nothing we can do about it."Now that I am doing something, time's moving too fast. Can you believe they're already selling Back-To-School $#!7? I must be slowing down.So what's with that?

"Lenny says that I'm a... get this... a little SLOW... how come you're not laughing? Do you think I'm slow?"-Homer Simpson

Saturday, July 16, 2005

The Legend of ChewyCat

"Doctor, little kids arent supposed to have heart attacks, they're supposed to get stung by bees, skin their knees, and get smothered by cats!"-Homer SimpsonSAM seasons their rabbit stew as GOLLUM watches.GOLLUM: Ssstupid fat hobbit! Using sage in stew like thisss! SAM: What's your problem? Sage brings out the flavor.GOLLUM: Smeagol would use nice mix of rosemary and lavender, yess, precious.FRODO: Hey, you guys? Something's out there in the forest.SAM: Rosemary? Hm, maybe. But you know what WOULD be good with this, is a basic bechamel sauce with some dill.GOLLUM: Sssimple hobbit; anyone makesss bechamel. Vichyssoise much tastier and more difficult; yes...FRODO: Hello? Guys? Seriously, someone's coming.SAM: Now, if you only found us some eggs, I could make crepes, wrap up the meat, drizzle the juices over it with a little bit of blackcurrant chutney...FRODO: Hey, you guys, look! It's Martha Stewart!GOLLUM: Where?SAM: Where?FRODO: Now that I have your attention, may I point out the Oliphaunt that's about to step on us?Whole thing here.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Vote next time, you stupid country!

I don't hate Republicans, well not all of them. It's just the ones who suport Bush I can't stand. I don't see how he even makes a decent president. Who remembers the Healthy Forest Act, or the drilling for oil and etc.? If this keeps up, America will just be some crap place, like Mars. I mean, dude, where's our forests? coughSome jackrabbit sat on them. He thinks he's so smart, but he's just some greedy senile little man who got pushed to the top by morons. But it's mostly the morons who didn't even vote. "I'm too smart to vote because my vote's not even gonna count so I'll just stay home and let all the stupid jerks run my life for the next four years."SchTooopid.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I M TEH BRILLIANT

Does anyone notice that it takes longer to spell words out loud than to type them? What's that about? I guess you have to remember the sounds they make before reciting the letters. Or maybe your brain remembers letters as super-symbols that activate when you want to type. What's faster than sound? Light! So in your brain, there's like, little rainbows that mean something. And when you type they just flow through you, like, the Force!Holy sh**, I got it! People who can type are strong with the Force. Which means I don't have it at all because I can't type without looking. God, I'm smart. I just proved the Force does exist! At least I think so. Don't remember. Just staring at the keyboard. Ever notice these letters aren't in ABC order? Why? It's so dumb. You have to look around for whatever letter you want next. Unless you have the Force. Then it just kinda guides you. Man, that is so cool.

[Homer reading screen] "To Start Press Any Key". Where's the ANY key? I see Esk ["ESC"], Catarl ["CTRL"], and Pig-Up ["PGUP"]. There doesn't seem to be any ANY key. Woo! All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. [presses TAB key].

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

You are the Starving Artist! You are more intuitive than logical, and are primarily guided by your heart and emotions. You are also very introverted and gentle. Of course, this does not mean that you do not have an ego. In fact, you are surprisingly arrogant for someone so emotional and gentle. This is why you are best described as a starving artist. You are very introspective and quite sure of yourself, as any accomplished artist is, yet your views are impractical, guided by feelings, and overly gentle. You probably find math, logic, and similar intellectual pursuits offensive to your artistic sensibilities, and you prefer the open-endedness of artistry because then you know you can never truly have a wrong answer. So really you have no reason to be arrogant, you big doofus, because the skills you value (emotion, spirit, art, etc.) in yourself are valuable only on a subjective level, meaning your arrogance is purely masturbatory. In short, your personality is defective because you are arrogant, introverted, introspective, gentle, and thoroughly irrational...posessing most of the traits needed to be a starving--and useless--artist. So get out there, write a few short stories that are allegories for the spirit, and starve!

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Annuda story

Once Upon A Beehive This one's for Jenna, you know why. : )

"Shoo, shoo," old Mr. Haney yelled. Karen bolted back to the red van where her friends were. "If I ever catch you kids here again, I'll call the police!" he threatened as they drove away."Don't worry," Mike said with a grin, "You'll have plenty of time to finish your dare tonight." Karen forced a not-so-convincing smile.

It was ten-o-clock, and Karen was back at the Haneys' house. How do I get into these things? She wondered. It wasn't her idea to go burn Mr. Haney's beehive. It was all Sadie's, but everyone dared Karen to do it.She finally got to the backyard fence and turned to look at their van. Inside, they were waving and calling something that seemed like "Go on!"Annoyed, she turned and climbed. "Ow!" she cried. A barb of broken fence pierced her arm. It had a long gash the length of her index finger and was bleeding freely.That didn't stop her. She just wanted this to be over with. She walked on. There, in the middle of his dark, mist-covered lawn, was the beehive. It hung peacefully from a short apple tree. Getting out her lighter out from her pocket, she walked on.As she got closer, she was amazed by how big it was; It was at least the size of a soccer ball. There were no bees on the outside, but she could hear a faint humming coming from the inside. Quickly, she flicked her lighter and a small flame popped up. She held it under the beehive for a moment, with a not-quite-complete sense of victory. She never prepared for what came next.The faint humming grew to an angry roar in a few seconds. Karen hoped desperately the hive would catch fire before any of them came out. But her hope was in vain.A large bee came oot, followed by another, then another, until it seemed that the beehive had purged itself of all it could ever hold. Karen screamed. They were all around her. She threw herself on the ground but that didn't help. She had driven a couple of stingers into her arm. More came down into her back. It stung as if she were engulfed in flames. She tried to scream for help, but no sound came out.By then, her arms were raw with stinger-bites. They covered every inch of her. When were any of her friends coming to help her?Her skin felt like pudding now, and the pain was excrutiating but at the same time numb. A light came on from the house. She heard yelling. Looking past the fence, she could see a red van driving away.

The next day, no one could find Karen Canter. Her friends said nothing, but hung their heads in grief. Police searched the whole town, and then some, but no one could find any trace of her. But still there, and overlooked, was the blood-stained piece of fence within a few yards of where Karen disappeared.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Rainbows

Rainbows are all messed up. They always seem to come out after it rains. Coincidence? I'd say no. The Government is planning something. Can't you feel it?They know drugs mess us up. And they know they control our actions with them. They can make a swarm of druggies angry just like *click* just by raising the prices like mad. And They know rainbows are addictive. You just can't stop looking at it, man! That's them working through you! They're making some conspiracy with rainbows and addiction. I just know it. Don't ask me what it is, I just know it's there. So next time you see a rainbow, kill it!Forth Eorlingas!!!

"Now they'll be sorry when I invent the world's best tasting cola and share it no one! Ahahaha!"-Homer Simpson

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Life is not a box of chocolates

"Life is a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."The second sentence is more true than the first. With a box of chocolates, you get something sweet, no matter what you chose. With life, you're screwed if you do, screwed if you don't, unless something lucky comes along. I don't really believe in luck, but you know what I mean. If anything, life's like a big game of roulette.But then again, Forrest Gump is different from other people. Heck, this is a guy who knows a bright side to getting wounded in the buttocks. Ice cream, man! Ice cream! I love ice cream! There's chocolate and vanilla and strawberry and mint chocolate also just mint and rocky road and cherry and caramel and once i even had orange orange ice cream whats with that oh well it was pretty good i hate chocolate ice cream because its all wierd and not sweet tasting kinda like life you know what life is more like a box of chocolate ice cream

"It came to me in a vision. Or maybe a drunken haze or possibly an ice cream headache."-Homer Simpson

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Wikipedia

Who's made articles on Wikipedia before? I've made Pamela Segall, Everything Is Illuminated (movie) and Dale MacDonald (which was deleted by some jackass). So yeah, there's a lot of stuff on that site. Look at this picture of Ewan McGregor I found:

He's so hot. And here's a photo of Frodo I'm posting for no reason at all:

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Funny thing happened

Yesterday I was eating a hershey's. I took the strip of paper off first because that's what I do. There was brown stuff on it. Not chocolate, more like hair or fur. Without giving it a second thought, I stuck it in my mouth. It didn't taste like chocolate at all. I peeled off the wrapper off the chocolate. It was all old, with ridges on it. There was a big (okay, it was small) maggot crawling up, and a smaller maggot next to it.You can imagine the frikked out look on my face. I spat the fuzz out as fast as I could and ran to de kitchen where I threw it away. Then I rinsed my tongue under the sink.Alright, you may be rolling your eyes thinking I made this up, and I don't blame you. But this is true and that was gross.

I think it's all a government conspiracy. I think they still put koke in Coca-Cola, and chocolate companies like Hershey's is taking up all the cocoa that they use to make the drink. And without Cocoa-Cola, they can't control us any more with our dependency on Coke. So they want people to stop buying chocolate by making it look gross, and put the chocolate companies out of business. That way they can make all the Coke they want and we'll be their slaves forever! But we won't give in! Buy all the chocolate you can! Just don't eat it. Together, we CAN make this a better country!

Monday, July 04, 2005

Don't have much to say today. We didn't go anywhere but the fireworks on TV are pretty. If I could, I'd gather up all the little stars and crunch them in my mouth because that's how good they's lookin'.Oh and yes. DON'T SET OFF FIREWORKS WHEN IT'S NOT THE FOURTH YET! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP AND IT'S ANNOYING! THERE'S A REASON PEOPLE SET OFF FIREWORKS IN JULY AND IT'S NOT THE FIRST, SECOND, THIRD AND ESPECIALLY NOT THE FIFTH! YOU HEARD ME, WHOEVER LIVES ON THE LEFT SIDE OF MY HOUSE SOMEWHERE! FIREWORK WARS WITH THE PEOPLE BEHIND MY HOUSE AREN'T NO FUN WHEN PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! I won't have to worry about it today though... it's rainin' like hell... mwahahahhahahahhahaa!!! Slam!!!So yeah, I'm enjoying the Macy's fireworks on TV right now. They's some mighty fine lights if I do say so myself.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Ponies

Kids see the world differently from adults. They look at the details, not the whole picture at once like grown ups do. For example, a small child taking a pony ride around a barn, will look at the flowers, rocks and trees seperately. Here's a pink flower there's a yellow flower that's a dandelion oh look a bumblebee. As the pony goes around the barn the kid will look at the corner. Look this wall is scartched i wonder how that happened. And when the ride is over, he or she might want to go again, there's always something he or she's missed. A grown up going around will immediately draw a map of where they're going inside their head. And instead of looking at each thing seperately, they'll most likely look at the big picture. Its a field of clovers and weeds and bugs its an old barn. And at every side, the barn will always look the same to them. It's just dumb. And that's why ponies don't come in large sizes.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

True Story

Last night they showed an NBC special about this guy who was trapped while hiking and moutain climbing in Colorado somewhere. Aron Ralston didn't tell anyone where he was going when he left. He was climbing over a rock deep in a crevice when, it came loose and trapped his right arm. While he was trapped he ran out of food on the second day and ran out of water on the third. All the while trying to chip the rock away with a teensy pocketknife. Every day he recorded a message on the video camera he brought everywhere. Every morning a raven would fly over the crevice. On the sixth day it wasn't there. On that day, he decided it was useless trying to chip the rock and painfully cut off his right arm. Part of it had already been decomposing. When he finally got loose, he followed the crevice back. As soon as he got out, he found a small puddle. It had a dead raven inside. He drank from it, then walked some more. Eventually he was found and rescued.Read more here:http://bubl.ac.uk/org/tacit/tac/tac63/tac63p20.jpgI like all the little "tacs" in the html.

That's creepy. I worship ravens now. Never go anywhere without telling people. Use the force. Man, this guy's cooler than Anakin, even though Anakin's arm is cooler.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Wise words from Stephen King

"But hardly anybody ever finds out that their actions really, actually, hurt other people! People don't get better, they just get smarter. When you get smarter you don't stop pulling the wings off flies, you just think of better reasons for doing it. Lots of kids say they feel sorry for Carrie White - mostly girls, and that's a laugh - but I bet none of them understand what it's like to be Carrie White, every second of every day. And they don't really care."-Susan Snell in Carrie, by Stephen King

So I read Carrie by Stephen King, and it's awesome. It's about this girl who nobody likes for no apparent reason. Her mom is a bible nut, who doesn't let her do anything and is abusive. At the beginning, she finds out she has pychic powers and can move stuff. It's so cool, but some parts are just way too descriptive. Way too descriptive. Very uneccesary goriness.