Media Monkey's Diary

✒It is a reflection of the changing world in which we live that 13 years after ITV1 launched a gameshow in which contestants had to answer 15 questions of escalating difficulty to win £1m – you may have heard of it – a new format offers the same prize money to anyone who can correctly guess the 50/50 outcome of a stunt involving a celebrity attached to a rocket. The new Simon Cowell-produced Ant and Dec gameshow Red or Black – AKA Idiot Millionaire – is slightly more complicated than that, but only just. Not so much phone a friend as phone the Gambling Commission to make sure it's all above board. Cowell himself admitted to having the odd flutter at the programme launch last week, including playing the National Lottery, much to the surprise of AntorDec. "You buy a lottery ticket?" they asked. "Would you cash in a scratchcard?" "I would tick the no publicity [box]," replied Cowell. Even when you are worth £200m, it seems, you can't put a price on a bit of Saturday night fun.

✒We would like to point out that despite claims to the contrary, Monkey has not been made to look slimmer at the top of this column. The image has been "adapted", however, removing Monkey's uncle and flipping the right arm over to look like the left. Just like Grazia's front-cover image of the Duchess of Cambridge, in fact. "We removed the Duke, and the Duchess's arm was adapted to complete the cover image," said the publisher. "This is a deliberately stylised cover – but there were no alterations made at all to make her look slimmer." One monkey's "stylised" is another one's "faked".

✒Such were the guffaws that accompanied Lord Patten's gags in his opening address to BBC staffers last week that some producer types suspected it might have contained canned laughter. Nothing of the sort, of course, but no one appeared to be enjoying the new BBC Trust chairman's remarks more than the director general, Mark Thompson, whose beaming face was frequently caught on camera during CP's speech. Missing you already, Sir Michael Lyons ...

✒Readers of the Times and Sunday Times are being asked to take part in an in-depth survey about their online (and offline) reading habits. But it seemed only a slightly strange choice that the Times front page used to accompany this appeal ("Your opinion can directly help us make better newspapers and websites for readers like you") was about former News of the World editor Andy Coulson quitting No 10 Downing Street over the phone hacking scandal. The suggestion that someone wasn't entirely paying attention over at News International was reinforced when the appeal was mistakenly sent out from an email address at the Sun. "This was a technical error," it said in an apology. "Under no circumstances has your data been shared with any other title." With the Sun? The very thought.

✒TalkSport is in the running for station of the year at the Sony Radio Academy Awards, up against BBC Radios 3 and 4. But the UTV Media station missed out in the nominations for the commercial radio equivalent, the Arqiva awards, announced last week, failing to get any mention whatsoever. There is a reason for this, however – the group's stations are excluded from the gongs after UTV quit the commercial radio trade body, RadioCentre, two years ago. Nor do any of UTV's local stations feature either. Which would presumably make a win at tonight's Sonys all the sweeter.

✒Still with TalkSport, its UTV boss Scott Taunton has been critical of BBC Radio 5 Live's output of late and was lined up to go on the station along with BBC trustee Alison Hastings to discuss its future and whether it broadcasts enough news and minority sport. Alas, the Taunton invite failed to materialise, with the BBC apparently keen to give Hastings the opportunity to speak to as many listeners as possible. "Scott was never definitely fixed as a guest," said a corporation insider, pointing out that it played a clip of TalkSport programme director Moz Dee. Maybe Hastings will go on TalkSport instead.

✒Monkey's believe it or not: 27 April: BBC1 controller Danny Cohen says there are "too many male detectives" and "too much crime" on the BBC. "I want to broaden the palette a bit." 5 May: A new series of BBC1's Inspector George Gently, the series about a crime-busting male detective set in the 1960s, begins filming in the north-east. A further series is already commissioned for next year.

✒With Weakest Link set to shuffle down the walk of shame for the last time next year, the question now is what will take its place in the crucial BBC1 slot occupying the run-up to the 6pm BBC News bulletin. This was occupied by Neighbours, until Channel 5 splashed the cash on the Aussie import four years ago, but there is no sign the BBC is planning to develop a new teatime soap (perhaps it could be based in Salford). So candidates to replace the Anne Robinson quiz include BBC2 gameshow Pointless, Celebrity Masterchef and Antiques Roadshow. But the BBC Trust has called for fewer dust-covered collectibles during daytime, so time to put the latter option back in the attic.

✒New magazine of the week: Chaat!, the "very first consumer title made by curry lovers, for curry lovers, dedicated to all spice experiences", launched by the British Curry Club. Coming soon: Take A Brake!, all about road safety.