Teaching history to our children is a powerful way to create, or recreate, our understanding of international relations. History, after all, is up to the interpretation of those who tell it.

So, it comes as no surprise that governments will use their power to teach history in ways that suit their needs. I like to think that this is mostly benign and done unintentionally. Every once in a while, however, a desperate government will go to extremes to indoctrinate their country's children.

Enter Argentina, a country that has really shit the pool lately. Last week, a special prosecutor who was about to reveal to the world that President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner made an illegal, backchannel deal with Iran was found murdered in his home.

Last year, the Argentine economy hit rock bottom and the government defaulted on its sovereign debt. This was after years of official doctoring of economic data that misrepresented the health of the Argentine economy to foreign investors.

Tough times call for a scapegoat. So, for the last few years, the Argentine government has been on a mission to revive an old rift with the United Kingdom over the Falkland Islands (Islas Malvinas.)

As you'll see below, kids have not been spared by Argentina's propaganda campaign. On a beloved children's TV show produced and aired by the government, the main character travels back in time to witness the injustices that the UK imposed upon their brave, innocent nation. It includes a badass pilot, a kidnapping Englishman with a red beret, and bombs that turn Argentine soldiers into gravestones.

My favorite part? All British sailors are portrayed as pirates with eyepatches. So true.

What's worse... a pretend secret assassin who becomes the real governor of California or a real secret assassin who pretends to know governors?

Apparently, according to the internet, this happened last week. In legal proceedings stemming from domestic abuse charges, NASCAR's Kurt Busch accused ex-girlfriend ﻿Patricia Driscoll﻿ of being an international woman of mystery. (I should note that Driscoll is accusing Busch of one incident of physical abuse.)

In court, Busch alleged that she is a hired assassin that specializes in killing drug traffickers and gangsters. If you think that's bad ass, wait until you hear his elaboration. The part about when she came home in an evening gown covered in blood and "other matter" seems appropriate for every cheesy spy flick I've ever seen.

Driscoll describes herself as a socialite, author, business executive, mother, philanthropist, defense contractor, and lobbyist. Here's a video of her clearly stumping for a reality TV show.

Busch suggested that Driscoll is a global player with significant influence. He claims that she once told him, "I take down foreign governments. I own Washington." If true, she stole my personal tagline. I use it when introducing myself at work. DBM

This is her picture, posted in her Wikipedia entry. The empty gin & tonic at the bottom of the picture is especially classy.