Thursday, April 23, 2009

Robbie C.

As I said earlier I finally finished it. And I don't feel proud of myself. I don't feel like I accomplished anything. I don't feel superior. I'm not enlightened. All I know is that I will never have those 3 months back: I have to live now like there is no tomorrow. So I am having a beer.I did learn a lot from RC. I learned that hardcover books cost 79 Cents at a store called "The White House" in 1947 or whenever the hell my dad purchased it. I learned that things like narrative structure did not exist in 1719. And asshole-y men have not really changed much since then. But I digress.

The following is a list of unsavory elements in "Robinson Crusoe:"

Cannibalism

Rape

Mutiny

Revenge

Child Murder

Women Murdered

Arson

Blatant Racism against:

Chinese People

Russian People

Spanish People

Non-white non-christian People

Catholics (racism against. I don't care that Catholics are in it)

Slave Trading

Sexual Slavery

Cat Killing

Desecration of Religious Icons (non-Christian)

Homophobia

Incest (implied)

Bestiality (not implied but I read between the lines: lots of talk

about goats)

It's like a Marquis de Sade novel! And like Sade, DeFoe rambles on and on. He tells pointless, often repetitious stories just to push whatever agenda he wants. For Sade it was Sadism (how convenient that his name and that name is the same!), for DeFoe it was cultural imperialism. But please don't think I hated the book. It had cannibalism in it! How could I hate that?