The Real Story

New Creche for bad parents will accept your new baby just 30 minutes after birth

Plans were given the go ahead this morning to create a new Creche that will adapt to the needs of crap parents in and around Luxembourg city.

The new site will be built in Kirchberg and will be able to accommodate up to 350 babies and young children and will be offering to pick up your new born child from the maternity ward just 30 MINUTES after child birth.

“We got the idea after we had many requests to start looking after babies at just 2 months old,” said one of the entrepreneurs, “we thought if there is a market for avoiding parenting after only 2 months, then why don’t we just go the whole way and pick up the child from the maternity ward?! They won’t be able to tell they have real parents anyway!”

There are other exciting ideas for the future from currently pregnant subscribers. “I think it’s a really great idea,” said one particular terrible mother, “I can get back to the office less than an hour after birth and get back to finishing those all important reports and hopefully get some overtime in too!”

Plans are currently being developed to have a joined on dormitory to accommodate children that parents want absolutely nothing to do with in order to avoid parenting completely; “We are really excited to have this extra feature, which will not only increase our value as a company, but also to solve the problem for parents who just collect their child at the end of the day and put them straight to bed without really giving a damn.”

The new Creche is planned to be built this coming summer in Kirchberg, close to some big banks.