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Charl Blignaut:Cultural sushi

The year is still in nappies but already we at the Mail & Guardian arts desk have spotted the most likely candidate to lift our coveted annual Winnie Madikizela-Mandela Award for Multiple Comebacks from poppet Wendy Oldfield. Yup, Jani Allan is back.
Again.

While Eugene Terre’blanche sank like a very large rock into the nebulous sea of sex scandals, onse Jani stopped off in London, recomposed herself, slipped into a couple of new outfits and re-emerged in Cape Town.

Not only do Capetonians now have the daily pleasure of listening to the journalist on Cape Talk, but on-line readers around the world can take in her new weekly column courtesy of Internet publishers M-Web. Go to: http://www.mweb.co.za/forum/jani and you too can become a regular reader of CyberJani’s weekly attempt to provide “all the truth that is unfit to print and equally offensive to the left, the right and the centre”. Hell, once you’re romantically linked to the bulldog of Afrikaner fascism, how can you do anything but offend the left, the right and the centre?

In last week’s column Jani took a dip at the way Cape Town’s heterosexual male population reacted to porn star Christi Lake. This from a woman whose on-line pictures show her done up in a kinky little policewoman outfit. Hmmm. Now imagine a pair of holey green underpants beneath all that and Christi Lake seems like Mary Poppins.

Anyway, this week Jani has a good go at affirmative action, deeming it “apartheid that’s dressed up and gone to a different tailor”. Sound familiar?

The white, heterosexual South African female is, says Jani, the ultimate in political incorrectness. Not so. Try allegedly getting involved with the leader of a white supremacist organisation in South Africa if you want the ultimate in political incorrectness.

“There must be something wrong with a society that makes you go to bed at night praying that you will wake up as a black, lesbian, unmarried mother,” continues Jani. Well, we have some very good news for her. .