The Bipolar Mama

Day 4: Us

First, I kinda of cheated on this one. This picture is from 3 years ago. It was from our honeymoon in Cocoa Beach, FL. It is my favorite picture of the two of us. Also we don’t have any pictures of all four of us. I know it is a shame. Usually I am the one taking the pictures so it is hard. Plus I am really anal about things like this. If I could split myself in two so I can be in the picture and take it, I would. Therefore I am going to focus on the Us of my husband and I.

He is my soul mate. I know I know how corny? Honestly he is my everything. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. Ironically, I used to dislike him. And he despised me. Sounds like true love? Let me explain:

2002: I started dating his friend who we will call Finkle for privacy purposes. I was 16 and he was 19 at the time. I know I know. Way too old for me. But this is not about my father issues/ need to date older men. Anywho. At the time we had only lived in my current town for a year. I was originally from Jersey City, NJ. I hated living in Little Podunk Western Pa town. (I still do) I was also an emotional teen who was still undiagnosed at the time. I remember seeing my would be husband whose nickname was Kocher at Finkle’s house.(Finkle and Kocher have been friends since elementary school) I thought he was a dumb hillbilly redneck. He thought I was a stuck up bitch because I didn’t say much. ( I am a very shy person especially around men) After a couple a months, I broke up with Finkle for many reasons. I had just gotten out of the psych center. Also his personality drove my mania. So my mother put the end to it.

2003: I started dating a friend of Finkle and Kocher’s. Yeah Yeah. It is a small town. It was also the group joke of who I would date next in their little circle. At the time, Hubby being an option was a cold day in hell. He hated me for dumping his friend and then dating another one. I dated friend number two for almost a year and then dumped him on Valentine’s day. I know. What a bitch? I was just in an odd place. I was kicked out of college because of lack of funds. My uncle had just died the month before at the age of 26. Friend #2 didn’t exactly have his life together either.

Somtime in the late 2000s: Hubby and I were still not together. Matter of fact we hadn’t seen each other in years. He claims he remembers going into the Eagles Club with his girlfriend at the time and seeing me. He said I was across the street with my friend Chuck. He thought it was strange that he even noticed me.

December 2009: My best friend Chuck was contacted by Finkle who was trying to get ahold of me. Finkle had gotten married and his wife, at the time, hated me. Even though I had broken up with Finkle and had two relationships since then, she was afraid I would steal him away. He was getting divorced and wanted to be friends with me again. Well Chuck and Finkle started talking with each other. I at the time was in a really horrible relationship. It was both physically and mentally abusive. I was trying to get out of it at the time.

January 2010: Finkle and Chuck officially start dating. So we all start hanging out again. So Hubby and I come across each other again. I was in the middle of ending a bad relationship and had given up on love. Besides I still thought we had not a single thing in common. He still hated my guts.

April 2010: Finkle and Chuck were looking pretty serious at this point. So I saw more and more of Kocher. At this point Finkle and Chuck had gotten the bright idea they were going to try to set us up. This idea was between them or else I would have told them to go jump off a bridge. So they always invited us over to hang out with them. I remember they had a small campfire at their house. I came late because I was playing Uno with my now ex. (It was a sad last ditch effort to save a severely toxic and broken relationship) I just kinda sitting there watching everyone at the fire. I noticed that Kocher wasn’t really dressed the way I thought he would be. I still thought he was a dumb redneck hillbilly at that point. He was wearing a ball cap, a hoodie, khaki shorts and tennis shoes. Then I noticed his eyes. He has the most amazing blue eyes. The kind that are different shades depending on his outfit. I also noticed he was quite handsome.

However I was not really in a place to be in another relationship. I also thought he was interested in another girl in our little group. She and I are not even close in personality or lifestyles. I figured if he was into her there was no way he would be into me. I pretty much had no self-esteem thanks to the child that is my ex. Also trying to end it with him had been a nightmare. He just wasn’t getting things were over. I had planned a trip with a friend from work and her husband to a nearby casino to get away from him. We were going to go up and spend the night. Just time to be away and be with myself. Fate, on the other hand, had other plans for this trip.

Messing with Kocher was pretty much a pastime in out group. I think it is because he messed with everyone else. One night while I was working an overnight shift at the nursing home where I was a CNA, Finkle texted me. They were all hanging out and drunk and needed some fun. So he gave me Kocher’s number and I was to be some girl from the bar that his friend gave his number to. Honestly it was a fun time. I was pretending to be some crazy clinger kind of girl. He went along with it. For about a week we texted and at some point I stopped texting him as Rachael (my cover name) and started messaging him as me. Then out of some kind of craziness, I asked him to come on my overnight trip with me.

The original plan was he was going to come up with us and leave after gambling. We rode up together. I rambled for the two hours up to the casino. (I ramble horribly when I am nervous.) After quite a few drinks, I decided to hold his hand. Then at some point I decided to kiss him. Our relationship began that night.

June 2010: We moved in together. Well it was more like I slowly moved myself in. I was getting tired of spending the night at his house then driving back to my apartment. At the time he 6a-2:30p and I work 3p-11p.

October 2010: We decided on a whim to go to Burlington, Vt for a mini-vacation. There after a wonderful dinner and running in the rain, we headed back to our hotel room and he asked me to marry him. He said that he was planning to do it later in the year but couldn’t wait.

May 2011: We found out we were expecting our first child.

September 2011: We said our vows at an outdoor wedding. It was hotter than Satan’s Ass that day.

January 2012: We welcomed Big D into the world.

February 2013: We found out we were expecting again!

September 2013: We welcomed Pickle into the world.

My husband and I are polar opposites that have found common ground. It is strange how it works because on paper it shouldn’t.