Fantasy Office Supplies

The Om Copier

Instead of losing your temper and raising your blood pressure the next time the office copy machine breaks down, use the Om Copier. It looks like any normal machine, but it releases the smell of fresh rain and plays the sounds of the rainforest to signal that there's a paper jam. —Andrea Chalupa

Viktor Koen

Magic 8 Ball of Excuses

Earnings missed again? Hiding from investors? Melt the stress away with this Magic Eight Ball of Excuses from the makers of Enron. Lawyer not included.

Viktor Koen

Mood Tie

Are your moods as volatile as the market? Whether you're feeling bullish or like a bear, do your employees a favor by sporting these ties that change color with your mood. Now no one will ever have to guess whether you're up, you're down, or you're up again!

Viktor Koen

Real Laser Pointer

Ever feel like your board meetings are missing something? Or tired of hearing the same old excuses when profits are down? One zap gets your point across with these real laser pointers. Goggles recommended.

Viktor Koen

Faux Cat for the Corporate Don

Thanks to Dr. Evil and Don Corleone, cat-petting by grown men has become a sign of power. Let your Faux Cat send the message that you're the kind of exec who can't be refused.

Viktor Koen

"I've Got to Take This" Button

Trapped by someone in your office who can't stop talking? Save yourself the liability of a trap door under their chair with the "I've Got To Take This" Button. One push and your phone rings instantly, letting you say, "I've got to take this."

Viktor Koen

Self-Ambulatory Post-Its

If you're like any busy executive, Post-It notes probably hang from the bottom of your computer screen like Christmas lights. Instead of keeping track of all those little pieces of paper, let them keep track of you. These two-legged notes chase after you when it's time to do whatever is written on them. Creepy, but helpful.

Viktor Koen

Going-Away Party in a Box

The next time you have to fire someone, spruce up the traditional hug and a handshake with this all-inclusive party in a box. Comes with paper hats and streamers touting inspirational messages. Cheaper than a golden parachute! Submit your own idea.