Recently, the government of Greece put some of the country's assets up for sale in an effort to pay down its national debt.

When you're "underwater," it's time to start liquidating!

Although the U.S.'s own debt will soon exceed the size of our economy, we haven't really started talking about truly bold, new ideas for generating additional revenue.

The American economy may look like a bag of lemons, but remember: This is the country that invented the lemonade stand (along with the apocryphal "we-invented-that" story).

My point is, it's time to come up with some creative money-making schemes to save our economy. As they say in the business world, let's "blue sky" this!

Buns, not bombs

You've seen the bumper sticker: "It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the military has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber"?

That "great day" has arrived! Dust off your oven mitts, Robert Gates, and let's get bakin' -- not to fund our public schools, although that's a cute idea ;-), but to enable our ever-increasing defense spending). Here are a few ideas for budget-boosting, military-themed baked goods:

Demilitarized Scones

Blue Angels Food Cake

The Tart of War

Muffins of Mass De-scrumptious!

Openly Gay Lemon-Poppy Seed Cake (pending approval)

Chocolate Bombs

Revenue target

Here's another surefire moneymaker that simply requires some outside-the-box thinking. There's an enormous windfall to be had from a government sale of very pricey, very limited -- and before you freak out, let me reiterate, limited -- hunting permits for the National Zoo. Ka-boom! Ka-ching!

There's a hidden bonus in this plan, too: Based on the innovative brilliance of the zoo-hunting initiative, America should have a decent shot at winning a MacArthur Genius grant, which comes with a half a million bucks and, you know, every little bit helps.

Cash 'stache?

Remember a couple of years ago when they sold the seats and bricks from the old Yankee Stadium?

Everyone wants to own a piece of history, and the USA can provide that opportunity, too, by selling pieces of our national monuments.

This isn't about eliminating the landmarks entirely, but simply shaving a little off the top. Consider, for example, the money we could drum up by auctioning off Teddy Roosevelt's moustache from Mount Rushmore. For one, the novelty of a new, clean-shaven Rough Rider would draw hordes of new visitors. And our 26th president's gigantic granite lip-bush would fit perfectly above the mantle in a billionaire's study. There's got to be a mogul out there who'd pay a pretty penny for the pleasure of pointing up at the souvenir statue-piece during cocktail hour as his guests roll their eyes and say, "We knoooow. The Rushmore Teddy Roosevelt moustache. You're incredible."

This is a fantastic idea -- exactly the kind of innovation I'm pushing for -- but let's kick it up a level! Here are a few more ideas for profitable "branding opportunities" on federal property:

Rename the presidential jet Air Force Capital One ("The sky's the limit when you're the Commander in Chief ... of your very own credit card!")

Offer Amazon.com the rights to replace the Statue of Liberty's tablet with a giant Kindle. ("Give me your tired, poor and hungry ... and some e-books for my all-new Kindle, now with built-in wi-fi and increased storage capacity!")

Sell McDonald's the right to fill the Grand Canyon with its fast-food products, providing a backdrop for a new ad campaign: "McDonald's: There's more where that came from!"

Backup plan

I realize some of these ideas may sound extreme, and we may want to opt, instead, for some old-fashioned fiscal basics, such as raising taxes and lowering spending ...

... just joking! Who wants to shoot a real tiger in captivity? Do I hear one ...? One trillion dollars? One point five trillion for a hunting permit at the nation's -- sold! -- to the North Korean gentleman in the designer sunglasses.

Rob Baedeker is the co-author, with the Kasper Hauser comedy group, of "SkyMaul," "Weddings of the Times," and "Obama's Blackberry." E-mail him at rbaedeker@sfgate.com.

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