The best I ever saw was a premed student/stripper at Mother in NYC who showed me all her tattoos (about half self-done) by just taking all her clothes off in the hallway near the bathroom. Said she hated people but strangely I didn't annoy her one bit. Guess it's because I'm a Komodo Dragon and not a person...

She also had 19 labia piercings, which made her positively reflective.