Apparently Madonna's 52nd birthday party over the weekend — which cost $100,00 — was incredibly dull.

Oh, sure, the menu included quail eggs and champagne. But. Guests were miserable. One source says it was "like a wake." Her Madgesty certainly seems… humorless in this image. [News.com.au]

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Despite what you may have heard, Angelina Jolie is not planning on playing Marilyn Monroe. "It's really funny because I have just heard about this for the first time today," she says. "It's news to me. I'm flattered, I suppose." [ONTD, Metro]

Angelina Jolie also reveals that when she was dressed as a man (for Salt), Brad wouldn't kiss her. [Showbiz Spy]

In other Jolie news, Angelina says that Maddox is totally disappointed in her. "To him I'm a dumb-ass who's no good at computers. I hope he will watch my films one day, then maybe he'll see his mom isn't totally stupid." [Digital Spy via Glamour]

Halle Berry was naked for her Vogue photo shoot, and says: "I could not have been happier in my life. If the world wouldn't persecute me, I'd take nude pictures every day of the week." Lady, no one would persecute you. There might even be world peace. [Socialite Life]

More fuzzy pix of the Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart nuzzle heard round the world! [Celebuzz]

Sad: Oprah Winfrey, Stedman Graham and Gayle King were on a private yacht in the Greek isles when Stedman found out that his mother had died. [Gatecrasher]

Scarlett Johansson's career has been "thrown for a loop" now that she's lost the part in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Oh, and by the way: This piece alleges that ScarJo didn't get the part because of her boobs. The curse of the curves! [Gatecrasher]

Kanye West has dedicated himself to being a perfect gentleman. "That's the Rosewood mentality, like affluence, like not cursing out in public, pulling out chairs for your lady, opening up doors. That's where I'm at." And: "I'm at this really good emotional, great place in my life." [Contact Music]

A "key" witness in the Mel Gibson assault case has died. [This Is London]

Patricia Arquette would like primary custody of her daughter after filing for divorce from Thomas Jane. [Daily Express]

The View must not keep Sherri Shepherd very busy; she's signed on to be the host of The Newlywed Game. [Gatecrasher]

Now that she is doing porn, Montana Fishburne says her father, Laurence, is giving her the silent treatment; she claims he told her: "I'm not going to speak with you 'till you turn your life around." He also said: "You used your last name. No one uses their real name in porn." [TMZ]

Maybe Adrian Grenier is doing some kind of Franco-inspired performance art, and that's why he and his band are gonna be on 90210? [Digital Spy via EW]

Kat Von D and Jesse James had dinner, but her rep stresses that they are "just friends." [ONTD]

Harry Potter fans! If you'd like to see hi-res images from Deathly Hallows, check the link. [ONTD]

"People talked about my weight for an entire year. Being famous for gaining 10lbs is ridiculous! I didn't feel as fat as everybody was making me out to be. Even the president felt he had to make a comment - although I think he was caught off guard as the picture was thrown in front of his face!" — Jessica Simpson. [Contact Music]