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Any copying or distribution of the content on this web log for commercial purposes is prohibited if done without the prior written permission of the author. Unless stated otherwise all content is the original work of Dennis D. Muhumuza, initially published by The Daily Monitor

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Friday, June 10, 2016

A long boring wait for men

By Dennis D. Muhumuza

The 2015/2016 season of Barclays Premier League ends today [May 15]
after 10 sizzling months, leaving many Ugandan men wondering how they
will be passing their weekend afternoons before the new season kicks off
on August 13.

Soccer, women, money and politics are the top
interests of men, no doubt, with soccer having an edge over the others.
Even deep in my village in western Uganda nine out of every 10 men who
have never stepped in class reel off the names of the star players in
the premiership.

It is just amazing how English football has
stolen the hearts and minds of Ugandan men. Everyone is a pundit;
everyone has a jersey of his team, with his name or the name of his
favourite player and his jersey number conspicuously emblazoned on its back. As a
Gunner, I too have an Arsenal shirt with my name and number [16] of
Aaron Ramsey on it.

It is show time every weekend, and our wives
and girlfriends suffer unless they pull off great pretense as soccer
lovers too; pulling on jerseys of our favourite teams, jumping and
shouting with us when our team scores, and commiserating with us when we
lose.The women who have failed to train themselves to love
football know nothing but misery on weekends because that is when their
lovers squander a lot of money on betting and return home too drunk to
spend quality time with them.

Why is soccer so obsessive?
Men
are natural hunters; they love the challenge, they love the chase, they
love the competition, they love risks; any adrenaline-inducing venture
and adventure excites them. The English Premiership gives them an
opportunity to wind down; a delightful break from the drudgery of life.

Men
identify with rivalry, and the fiercest rivalry is served steaming hot
in the Premiership. It begins with top managers bullying one another
with words and actions; each trying to establish himself as the real
bull of the premiership kraal. Tempers flare on the touchline as
managers throw tantrums like Arsene Wenger shoved the pugnacious Jose
Mourinho who called him a “specialist in failure”. It is funny watching
star players pout when a dent in form gets them benched.

Drama
One
time Liverpool coach Jurgen Klopp broke his glasses celebrating a goal
while Louis van Gaal dropped his pants to show his critics that he has
balls.

The rivalry trickles down to clubs in close proximity, for
example, Manchester United calls Manchester City “the noisy neighbours”
while Arsenal shares a neighbourhood with Tottenham Hotspurs and for 20
years the latter has been trying to finish above the former in vain.

This extends to fans as we barb one another depending on how our respective teams are performing. The teams attack with a romantic eagerness or defend with extraordinary resoluteness or they are punished. The
tempo, the surprises, the howlers, the class acts and the overall
intensity and unpredictability leave you drunk with excitement or
disappointment as you watch your team shred its opponent. These are
moments that make even grey-haired men weep with joy or with pain,
shamelessly.

Tension
Leicester City gave us the best tension this season. This is
how BBC Radio 2 presenter Jeremy Vine described the Foxes’ performances in February: “You are performing the kind of high-wire act
not seen since the French daredevil Philippe Petit strung a cable
between the Twin Towers and crossed it without a harness. Every week we
expect you to fall…but every week you stay on that cable.”

Leicester City that had gone from last to first in the league in just 12 months
went on to win the trophy for the first time in their 132-year history.
They did that in style; upsetting the status quo; making the established
top teams look like “a bunch of bungling amateurs” as one pundit put
it. The underdog had grabbed its chance with aplomb; stirring us with
inspiration that we too can make it big time.

In life rarely is
the underdog given the chance to prove himself, but in Premier League
anyone has his chance. The injury of a big star is an opportunity for an
often disregarded player to prove himself as a diamond that was hidden
in the rough.

All the above combined is why it will be a tough wait for most men out
there before the top English professional football league resumes.