Praying for a topless TOP

Everything else in the world can change but one thing will always remain constant and that is the pervertedness of fan girls!

AllKpop lately announced that Kim Ha Neul (we love her because she is Sukkie/Momo’s owner in “Your’re My Pet”) has been chosen to lead in a remake of the Japanese hit Absolute Boyfriend (Zettai Kareshi) opposite none other than Choi Seung Hyun better known as Big Bang’s power rapper TOP!

It hasn’t been confirmed yet though rumours already have it that TOP is looking favourably on the role. For K-drama lovers this is great because KHN is reputedly really good and TOP has been getting critical acclaim for his work too.

Not to mention that casting him is also dead on because who looks more cyborg perfect boy friend than TOP? He’s a complete doll! He even dresses like a Ken doll most of the time, right?

Fan girls however have cut quickly and efficiently to the single most important point that this news implies. As anyone who’se read the manga or the anime knows, Absolute boyfriend is about a girl who orders and receives a perfect boyfriend in the form of a cyborg.

What is of optimum importance here is that the cyborg/boyfriend is delivered to her in a box.

Naked.

Did you catch that?

Naked.

This would be enough to cause heart attacks with any idol but with TOP there is a possibility that the very foundations of KPop world may shift beneath our feet as everything we thought we knew changes.

Why?

Pay attention. There are many mysteries in Kpop, but one of the greatest ones is the mystery of TOP’s naked torso.

In a world where every idol has at some time or other had to give chest and ab fan service, TOP is an idol that has not only stubbornly continued to cover up, but has done so with frustrating layer after layer of annoyingly, all covering layered fashions and for five years no amount of begging, pleading or weeping on the part of VIPs has moved him to reveal so much as a nip shot. Not since that time years ago when freshly debuted, he mistakenly flashed a micrometer of flesh only to show some of the baby fat that was the plague of his teenage years.

KPop theorists have mulled deeply over the years on it. Why is TOP’s torso one of the best kept secrets in Kpop? What could he be hiding? Tattoos? Scars? Grotesquely distended skin? Popular opinion has been forced to conclude that it can be none of these things due to various clues.

What makes it worse is that his co-Big Bang members have openly confided that TOP has the best chest of them all. People. We are talking about a group that includes the glorious torsos of Dong Young Bae and Kang Daesung. I personally believe they were trolling us when they said that.

So this is the gravitas that hangs around the possibility of TOP being in a movie where at last, that which has been concealed will finally be revealed to us.

I expect there will be a great blinding light.

I don’t plan on wearing sunglasses.

I think the general sentiment is best summarized by the hashtag banner of one commenter on the AKP thread:

You can definitely see your enthusiasm within the paintings you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to say how they believe. At all times go after your heart.