As in ‘returned’. It hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything, on account of the fact that it’s an abstract concept and therefore doesn’t have a spine or a rear side or whatever.

Mocking momentum’s the in thing to do at the minute. Typical that it would come into fashion six years after we were indulging. A lot of people have cited the ding-dong-ding-ding-dong nature of this series as being evidence of its meaninglessness, but look a little closer and there momentum is, actually having some sort of meaningful impact.

What is a fightback if not defiance of momentum? And what has there not been at any point during any of this summer’s Ashes Tests?

Each of the five matches between England and Australia this summer has followed a familiar pattern. One team has got ahead; the other team has at no point been able to recover. The winning team has invariably been the one that first gained momentum.

Might I suggest Angular Momentum as an alternative. It is conserved, of course, its conservation being one of the fundamental laws of the universe. And it results in specific sections of the body in question moving first in one direction, then soon afterwards in completely the opposite direction, ultimately getting nowhere. All in all, a much superior physics-based metaphor, and one that should put a stop to all this confusing torque.

There is another advantage of using Angular Momentum as the analogy-of-choice for sportsmen. As we all know from interminable discussions on the psychology of elite sport, these people like to live in the moment. Well now they can.

There’ll be another one along soon, people, just as soon as I’ve read through the glossary in this physics textbook.