2.02.2009

i have no words for what is stirring inside of me in this moment. all i know is that something is about to be born.

i've been thinking about isabel and how her little life, so beautiful and bright; how the sorrow of losing her; how the time between has changed me. to be who i am right here. right now. how everything i have lived and been and loved and lost has formed the me that i see when i look in the mirror. the person i am embracing with all my heart and soul. i love me. i love my life, i love the slant of color the sun makes through the blinds in my window, i love the smell of bub and pea just in from jumping on a trampoline in chilly february air, i love the way my daughters look as they walk back onto the ferry to their grown-up lives in seattle, i love the middle beauty laying across my bed talking about nothing or not talking at all and just feeling ease between us. i love my man patting my bottom the way he always does, the way my lips fit perfectly in the crook of his warm neck, the way he pulls me into him when i come close. i love my life. it is so amazing. and i want more than anything to share that feeling with others. however i can. i will. i am.