Want to be Successful? Avoid These 5 Emotionally Charged Habits

There are, to be sure, many things that contribute to your overall success. Things like your attitude, your ability to lead, your people skills and so forth all have a big influence on it, no doubt.

One factor that many people don’t realize is extremely important however their ability to manage their emotions and, when under pressure, remain calm. Below are a number of behavioral factors that the president of TalentSmart, Travis Bradberry, advises that you avoid in his post on LinkedIn entitled “Emotional Intelligence 2.0”

1) Successful people never live in the past. Bradberry says that “Emotionally intelligent people know that success lies in their ability to rise in the face of failure, and they can’t do this when they’re living in the past.” He goes on to say that “Anything worth achieving is going to require you to take some risks, and you can’t allow [past failures] to stop you from believing in your ability to succeed.” In other words, living in the past makes it very difficult to move forward in the future.

2) Successful people don’t try to be perfect. Here’s the thing; perfection doesn’t exist. Bradberry says that “Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible”, and adds that “when perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure, and you end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of enjoying what you were able to achieve.” Realizing that perfection is an impossibility, successful people instead aim to do their very best and are content with the results.

3) Successful people avoid surrounding themselves with negative people. The fact is, it’s human nature to listen to people who complain because we don’t want to seem impolite or insensitive but, as Bradberry says, “There’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral.”

Unfortunately, negative people are quite toxic and, if you associate with them too closely or too often, that toxicity can definitely cause you problems you don’t want or need. Bradberry gives some excellent advice about how to deal with negative people; “Think of it this way: If a person were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the secondhand smoke? You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with complainers.”

4) Successful people don’t hold grudges or dwell on past problems. Highly successful people are usually emotionally intelligent and they focus on solutions rather than focusing on problems or holding a grudge for an error that someone made in the past. Bradberry explains that a person’s emotional state is determined by where they focus their attention. “When you fixate on the problems that you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress, which hinders performance. When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and improves performance.” He advises that anyone looking to be successful avoid holding grudges, and anger, at all costs.

5) Successful people can say “no” if it’s necessary. Interestingly, it’s been found that people have a difficult time saying “no” are more likely to burn out early in their careers, suffer from stress and even from depression. Bradberry says that “Saying no is indeed a major challenge to most people,” adding that “it’s a powerful word that you shouldn’t be afraid to wield.” In fact, successful people don’t “beat around the bush” when they feel the need to say “no”, especially if it means honoring their existing commitments. They simply say it and move on.

Hopefully the information and advice above has opened your eyes to some negative habits that you might have yourself and will help you to change them. Working on these things regularly can, over time, change your negative habits to positive ones, and usher in a success that you never thought possible.