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Perspectives

I recently stumbled onto a thought provoking blog. However, it was the mention of three words that got me thinking. The author relates a story in which her sister said the words “I don’t care”

My husband asked her if she was interested in a VBAC or would go with the OB’s recommendation, and she said “I don’t care.” She doesn’t care? How can that be? How can she say that in front of me knowing damned well that I DO CARE!.

The author continues on with why “I don’t care” is offensive to her. I was struck as to why this author melted down. Now granted this woman has suffered great losses in her life and is probably incredibly sensitive to anything dealing with her type of loss. However, I wish to delve into “I don’t care”.

If I was a vegetarian and my brother wasn’t and if I asked him if he would consider a vegetarian lifestyle and he said “I don’t care” I wouldn’t be offended. It’s his choice to say I don’t care, it’s also his choice to eat meat. I could tell him he is misinformed, point him to information but ultimately it is his choice to eat meat. Also most people when they say “I don’t care” aren’t planning on scarring people emotionally. For the most part they don’t think when they say it so perhaps it’s the lack of thought that goes behind I don’t care that has the author upset.

She also states why they should care:

I recognize that I have no power over another person’s decision to care about health care decisions made for them. However, does that mean that I back off and let a family member be led to medical decisions that could adversely affect her family? This is tricky for sure. I have no desire to badger her and don’t want to negatively impact my relationship with her and my brother, but it is really hard to stay silent when your family chooses to stick its head in the sand.

My brother and his wife smoked. It bothered me again it was his and her choice to smoke. Were they informed on the dangers, oh hell yeah! Did I get all worked up if they had a cigarette? Nope. Were their heads in the sand perhaps. Was I hurt when they lit up…NO!