Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life - Rachel Carson

Monday, September 15, 2014

Pre-26

It’s a journey ain’t it?

Crazy train……up a few notches please?? Seriously
I have had a crazy ride these couple of weeks/years… I’m walking around with
this strange bravado tough and all, but deep down inside I feel this strange excitement,
I wish I could draw a graph showing the percentage of happiness, sadness, confusion, anxiety, anticipation
, craziness that’s going inside my head. Tomorrow is a very dramatic day I’m
turning 26! You know what this means? It means that in a rounding up equation
my scale is tilting to the 30’s and not 20’s {OMG! I’m hyperventilating already!!}
I wanted to post this tomorrow but, the state of meditating about being 26 is
far more exciting and scary. It took me sometime but I consider myself a bona
fide gal….. My mantra is “Black is always in, and thinking positive taste like chocolate”
and something to do with wonder woman Hahahaha!. I have worried about my life becoming
this horrible fiasco and having to hide in my room for all eternity banished
from the light of happiness, oblivion {see what I’m saying this pre-26 is
making me very dramatic, it’s absurd!} but I’m glad that hasn’t happened, I never
had a time line, nothing wrong with that I simply think life has enough restrictions,
horrible routines and deadlines that adding one more seems irrational, considering
the fact that it links to happiness. A letter to myself and those who I love..

Dear Diana,

Thank you for being such a brave girl and never ever giving-up on those individuals that work hard to win your love. However I do have to tell you easy on the overthinking stuff and on the coffee I know you love that thing, but please give it a break. You've had a good run I know you found yourself in places in which you erupting with rage and hostility was the only way out, but ultimately managed to launch a happiness campaign with banners and all hahahaha!!. You are no Banksy but kudos to you for still thinking your a great mysterious artist hahahah! You always pick proper attire, those bygone eras always fill your head with inspiration, and my god you deliver gracefully. Thank you for being such a hard working person! this shouldn't be taken lightly, your alarm clock and your phone are witnesses to this...thanks for having a clean slate on most maters in life over a goodnight sleep. And although you hate those strange fevers that come and go, keep thinking its some sort of superpower! keep it up kid, never forget that you need help and never forget to thank and love those who you love.

Sincerely,

Diana from last quarter hahaha!

Dear Mom,

Okay I just typed dear mom and tears started forming, you are the epitome of my essence. we are different and trust me sometimes I think you say to much when in company. But you are the most amazing human! I love you so so much it hurts thinking I might loose you someday, your laughter automatically makes me smile your Black Dalia perfume makes me think of home and your love! to sit down and think of all the sacrifices you have made for me, brings me to a state of shock! you are so selfless its an embarrassment to think I could be like you, in my early years you stood your ground next to me, you made me see that life isn't black and white that sometimes grey could be a good thing. All the joy you brought to my life is priceless I will be forever thankful you made my childish dreams come true... You were my strength, maybe not directly but thinking of your love towards me made me pull myself together multiple times. Your stories , always made me dream!!your voice lifted my spirit, even if it didn't seem like it did. Those memories so vividly they will remain, its impossible to ever forget your love, I will continue loving you and supporting you in whatever endeavor crosses your mind.

Sincerely,

Your loving Daughter.

Dear Brother,

You were a gift for me the moment my mother walked in the room with you in her arms. I remember asking her "He's mine right?' she said "Yes" The next day at school I assured myself of telling everyone I had a beautiful baby brother with blonde curly hair and eyes like the sky.. I was so thankful that god sent me something so beautiful.. if you think I'm on your back right now, you have it all wrong bro... when you were just a baby I would sleep with you! sing to you, comb your hair, dress you, put on your shoes and play cars with you. I remember never missing a first day of school by your side I would be late to school but I wanted to see my little brother all cute with his backpack and new shoes going into his classroom {Tear}. When someone dared to touch you! I always hugged you so hard and made sure that person could never ever harm you again. When puberty kicked in , our trust was so strong that you would come to me with questions, I remember your first cologne! I was so surprised I couldn't believe my little brother was turning into a handsome lad. in October you will be 19 I wish I could place you in a time capsule and keep you like this forever but life is full of changes and all I wish is for us to always love one other and never let something insignificant get between us, I will always always be your loving older sister that geeks out with you, when life gets hard you already know I have your back.

Sincerely,

Your Loving Dee,

Dear Joe,

The newest edition to the Diana's heart , thank you so much for being my best friend, I confide in you and lately you are the generator of my positive vive. You are always ready to listen and I find that extremely incredible. I would say our story is pretty unique, we've known each other for a very long time 7-8 years however two years ago marked an important chapter in my life so why not celebrate! I'll celebrate by writing about you on this blog! and I have an amazing gift all sorted-out for you, which you'll receive December 22! ... I wont write much you know I love our privacy but I will tell you this I love you very much!! and your dimples make me smile your serious face makes me daydream while your youthful approach to life helps me relax... you are the perfect boyfriend... thanks for cooking for me and thanks for disregarding my judgmental personality at times, thanks for not giving up on me, I wish the best for our future together.. thanks for the chocolates, flowers, cookies , home made lunch, movies, CD's ... and thanks so much for your letters you are the best! Thank you!!!

1 comment:

D, reading this made me so thankful to have met you and yours. You made me tear up a few times. To see you in this state of happiness and joy... it makes me so happy. You're a great daughter, sister, gf, and friend. I can't wait to see how this new chapter of your life progresses. I love you dear, and 26 needs to watch out... because here comes D!

This is what i have to say:

There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you.... In spring, summer and fall people sort of have an open season on each other; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself. -Ruth Stout... I love winter, Coffee and I seek mystery In life.