Tag: want

One thing I do remember is that everyone insisted we make time for a “Date night” at regular intervals. Now this is a fine idea in theory, but once I got the baby down for the night, wrestled myself into nice clothes and greeted the babysitter, I just wanted to crawl into bed and go to sleep. “Date night” meant nodding off over my linguine and wishing we had stayed in with ice cream and Netflix. What if you swapped your date night for a date morning? That’s a suggestion from Esther Perel, renowned sex and relationship therapist. If your new normal is being yanked awake at dawn, like some kind of prisoner under the thumb of a tiny, sadistic guard, you might want to spend your babysitting budget on a morning rather than a night. If your kids can sleep elsewhere for the night, so much the better. We’d listen to music, get a cheap dinner, and arrive back home at 9 to sleeping kids and a clean kitchen. If that’s a date morning so you can drink coffee that’s still hot, so be it.

The revelations sparked a #DeleteFacebook movement and some people downloaded their Facebook data before removing themselves from the social network. If you use Facebook apps on Android, for example – and, even inadvertently, gave it permission – it seems the company has been collecting your call and text data for years. You may well have downloaded your Facebook data already; it has become something of a trend in recent days. Go to Google’s “Takeout” tool and download your data from the multiple Google products you probably use, such as Gmail, Maps, Search and Drive. Try not to let your smart toaster take down the internet. Your phone, your tweets, your Facebook account: all of these things are temporary. If you wipe your Facebook account every year, you learn which friends you actually like and which are just hanging on to your social life like a barnacle. Do what you want with your data, but guard your friends’ info with your life.

Sam texts Penny asking for fashion advice; Penny texts Sam about how much she hates maraschino cherries. How did you think about what kind of tone you wanted for Penny and Sam’s texts? If you do lean on text to do the heavy lifting in terms of creating a safe and intimate space for them, it had to not feel like text. Beck: There’s a super interesting paradox about texting that I’ve been thinking about lately. Americans text more than they call, and texting is the primary form of communication for most people, especially younger generations. Choi: Penny is so trusting with such a tiny social circle that she has wallpaper push notifications for her texts. In the book, every time Penny and Sam have some kind of new communication, moving from texting to phone calls or seeing each other in person, they call it “Escalating.” You wouldn’t have as many levels to escalate up through in the past because it was only phone or in person and that’s it. You’re like, “Oh I won’t call them because it’s so rude of me to want my friend to carve out 15 minutes to talk to me.” So you text instead. And it’s kind of sad. Choi: It always reminds me of the Looney Tunes [gophers].

When confronted with the issue of online privacy, one of the more popular answers is, “What’s the big deal? I have nothing to hide.” We’ve seen it around the web, hear it from friends and even from those involved in tech. “The main problem with the ‘nothing to hide’ argument is assuming that privacy is important only if you have something to hide,” said Ignacio Cofone, a New York University research fellow and privacy expert. “Privacy is not about hiding, it’s about which flow of information is socially appropriate and which isn’t. This argument also obscures the target person. Nothing to hide from whom? There are things that you would share with your partner but not with strangers on the street.” The “Nothing to hide” argument starts to break down when you consider the different types of people we generally interact with. “It’s important to acknowledge that privacy isn’t about hiding – it’s about having and exercising more agency over who sees our personal information,” said Rebecca Ricks, a Mozilla fellow and technologist, in an email exchange with Mic. It’s clear why someone vouching for their rights may not want the government to know every word that they type, but what about those who aren’t protesting? In his TED Talk, journalist Glenn Greenwald revealed the hypocrisy of claiming you have nothing to hide. The argument of “Nothing to hide” most often means “I’m not doing anything illegal.” You can still be within the bounds of the law but choose not to tweet your mom’s home address or go through the street yelling your passwords. As he puts it, “Arguing that you don’t care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don’t care about free speech because you have nothing to say.”

She came with a whole life and libido of her own. To speak our life as we feel it is a freedom we mostly choose not to take, but it seemed to me that the words she wanted to say were lively inside her, mysterious to herself as much as anyone else. This action of dismantling and packing up a long life lived together seemed to flip time into a weird shape; a flashback to leaving South Africa, the country of my birth, when I was nine years old, and a flash forward to an unknown life I was yet to live at 50. More urgently, I no longer had a study at the most professionally busy time in my life. What’s the point of that sort of life? As I wheeled my electric bike through the park on the way to my writing shed, my hands had turned blue from the cold. De Beauvoir knew that a life without love was a waste of time. She remained committed to Sartre being the essential love of her life for 51 years, despite their other attachments. All the same, as she had written to the writer Nelson Algren, in the flush of their new love: “I want everything from life, I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and have loneliness, to work much and write good books and to travel and enjoy myself …”.

You receive tickets every time you try new things and meet new people. Again from How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World: “You are free to live your life as you wantThe demands and wishes of others don’t control your life. You do. You make the decisionsThere are thousands of people who wouldn’t demand that you bend yourself out of shape to please them. There are people who will want you to be yourself, people who see things as you do, people who want the same things you want. Why should you have to waste your life in a futile effort to please those with whom you aren’t compatible?” Be impeccable with your word. When you take things personally, you’re allowing others to control your life and your happiness. There are a lot of people out there who want to tell others what’s wrong with their actions, why the things they want to do can’t be done. You’re more likely to regret the things you don’t do than the things you do. Strip from your life the things that take time, money, and energy, but which do not bring you joy. History is filled with examples of folks who achieve great things later in life. This is the most important thing I’ve learned during my 49 years of life.

Are you willing to give up late nights out for late nights in working? Are you willing to turn a deaf ear to blind criticisms? Are you willing to listen to helpful ones? Are you going to be able to give up the doubt, the resistance, the uncertainty, the avoidance mechanisms? As Mastin Kipp says: Are you willing to live as other people won’t, so maybe you can live as other people can’t? High achieving people understand that the foundation of life is the white space – and that because our energy is limited each day, what we spend it on will define us in the future. Building your own business or embarking on a side project or trying a whole new career doesn’t mean you’re diverting from the path of certainty and into a life of the reckless unknown. Your anxiety? It’s telling you that something in your life is off balance. If you want to get anywhere, you need to be able to let them speak to you, and tell you what you really need. Passion might have told you what you want to do in life, but it isn’t going to be the thing that propels you through late nights of work and difficult days that make you just want to quit. To become a high achieving person, you need principles and you need habits. The reality is that life unfolds from the inside out, and that we don’t change when our circumstances do, our circumstances change when we do.

Are you willing to give up late nights out for late nights in working? Are you willing to turn a deaf ear to blind criticisms? Are you willing to listen to helpful ones? Are you going to be able to give up the doubt, the resistance, the uncertainty, the avoidance mechanisms? As Mastin Kipp says: Are you willing to live as other people won’t, so maybe you can live as other people can’t? High achieving people understand that the foundation of life is the white space – and that because our energy is limited each day, what we spend it on will define us in the future. Building your own business or embarking on a side project or trying a whole new career doesn’t mean you’re diverting from the path of certainty and into a life of the reckless unknown. Your anxiety? It’s telling you that something in your life is off balance. If you want to get anywhere, you need to be able to let them speak to you, and tell you what you really need. Passion might have told you what you want to do in life, but it isn’t going to be the thing that propels you through late nights of work and difficult days that make you just want to quit. To become a high achieving person, you need principles and you need habits. The reality is that life unfolds from the inside out, and that we don’t change when our circumstances do, our circumstances change when we do.

What are the best books to read for mental strength? originally appeared on Quora – the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world. There are no quick fixes or easy hacks for mental strength. Over the years, I’ve picked up a number of great books about the mental game, the mind-body connection, and the secrets of learning new skills. I’ve grouped the first three books together because they all reflect on the same aspects of the mental game-the connection between your conscious mind, your subconscious, and your performance. One of the most interesting points Ericsson makes is about mental representations. As people increase their skill levels, they begin to see things differently, breaking representations of physical objects into different “Chunks.” They recognize patterns and develop much more sophisticated mental representations. If you’re interested in the mental game for personal or professional reasons, each of these books is useful in it’s own way. Your mental effort is meant to change your behaviors, which in turn, helps you reach your goals and build your mental strength.

In order to be able to enjoy and experience Paris to the fullest, without becoming overwhelmed by the throngs of crowds and places to see, it’s important to go with a plan in mind. With everything there is to see and do in both the city and surrounding area, you’ll want to stay at least one week, especially if it is your first time visiting. Make a list of places you want to visit each day, as well as a backup list. On the opposite end of that, if it’s taking you much longer to visit the sights you wanted to see, then start out by visiting the places that are on the top of your list so you won’t have to miss out on what you want to see most. The food on the cruise was nothing compared to the food found in the restaurants throughout Paris, and frankly, was long and somewhat boring. It’s not much different from the rest of Paris and doesn’t have much to offer other than the Sacre-Coeur Cathedral. Many people don’t realize that there is a Disney park just a short train ride away from Paris. Wear comfortable shoes, make a list of everything you want to see and make sure to take a lunch break.