Faces of Addiction: From 'a house full of love' to years of opioid addiction

Monday

Nov 27, 2017 at 8:47 AM

Bryant has been working in the addiction recovery field for the last 10 years. Since getting clean in 2007, Bryant said he has maintained his sobriety by taking care of himself, giving back to his community and speaking out about addiction.

Brian Fraga Herald News Staff Reporter @BfragaHNStaff Reporter

FALL RIVER — Not every heroin addict grows up in a broken home, or shoots up to soothe the pain of childhood trauma.

"That's not my story," Michael Bryant, 40, said in a recent interview at his North Main Street office.

Bryant grew up in an intact family with nine siblings in Fall River's South End. His parents are still married.

"I was brought up in a house full of love," said Bryant, the project director of Steppingstone Inc.'s Peer 2 Peer Recovery Project.

Bryant has been working in the addiction recovery field for the better part of the last 10 years, which is how long he has been sober. Since getting clean in 2007, Bryant said he has maintained his sobriety by taking care of himself, giving back to his community and speaking out about the disease of addiction.

"I truly believe that every addict living in a state of recovery, doing well and doing great things, we have a responsibility to share that gift with somebody," he said.

Early on, Bryant said he knew he was different from other people. At 13, his teenage friends could drink a beer or two and move on to the next adventure, but not him.

"The first time I had a drink, I just wanted to keep drinking," he said.

Throughout high school and into his early young adult years, Bryant drank and used drugs such as painkillers and sometimes cocaine. He graduated from Diman Regional Vocational Technical High School, but not without serious struggle. He was involved in the juvenile court system for a variety of offenses that included assaults. His parents tried to help, linking him with Alcoholics Anonymous, counseling and other programs.

"I had this hole inside me, and obviously I filled it with drugs and alcohol," Bryant said.

After graduating from Diman in 1995, Bryant entered the work force and landed a well-paying job in commercial insulation. He married in 1998 and had his first child soon after, but those adult responsibilities could not deter him from alcohol and drug abuse.

"To me, there's nothing stronger than addiction on this planet, other than God," Bryant said.

In 2000, Bryant injured his back on the job, and that began a tailspin that lasted for seven years. He became increasingly hooked on opioid painkillers as he obtained prescriptions for his back. Eventually, as often happens in such cases, Bryant began using heroin when he could no longer easily obtain painkillers.

"Heroin kind of became my master," he said.

Bryant's second child was born in 2000, but fatherhood failed to get him clean. He bounced in and out of treatment centers, 12-step fellowships and detox programs. He would manage a couple of months of sobriety here and there, but nothing stuck. He also had difficulty keeping steady employment. The whole time, Bryant said he was conscious of the pain and suffering he was inflicting on his family.

"As time goes by, the addict loses the power of choice," Bryant said. "I never left my house and said, 'You know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to break my wife's heart.' No addict says that.

"Believe me, addicts are not out there having fun," Bryant said. "They're not out there running the streets and doing things they want to be doing. The problem is the addiction becomes a need."

Bryant said he never hit "rock bottom."

"I don't believe in bottoms, because I've had so many and I've always sunk lower and lower," he said.

"As addicts, we're good at adapting and settling for less," Bryant added. "We become accustomed to settling for less and accepting lower standards for ourselves. So when I would hit a bottom, I would adapt to it easily. It became the norm."

What brought Bryant to the threshold of recovery was despair. He had gotten to the point where he did not want to wake up anymore. He was tired of fighting and losing. He was ready to give up.

"In that moment, which I guess was complete surrendering, I had this warm feeling come over me," Bryant said. "I just felt this warm presence of comfort come over me in that moment, and I knew I was ready to go to any lengths to stay clean."

Bryant joined a 12-step fellowship, worked the steps and his worldview changed. He began to value things he never did, such as being a man of his word, helping other people and serving his community.

"Addiction robs you of your true self," he said. "I got clean at 30 years old. I had two kids, and I had no idea who I was as a man. I was a shell for 15 years. I had no idea who I was."

For the first year of his sobriety, Bryant volunteered in helping other addicts. The addiction counselors in the field told him he had a knack for the work. He started working on a per diem basis at a men's residential drug treatment program. He had found his true calling.

Over the next several years, Bryant worked his way up, becoming a case manager and a shelter supervisor at Steppingstone before being entrusted with running his own peer-to-peer recovery program.

"Talk about coming from the bottom and working your way up," he said.

Bryant stays sober by by exercising, eating right, serving others, as well as prayer and meditation. Bryant said he has developed a relationship with a higher power, though he does not identify with one religion.

"I pull certain spiritual principles out of many different areas," he said.

Bryant is adamant that there is "nothing special" about him, adding that he knows there are "much greater people than me" in Fall River. Bryant says he sees himself as a "small piece of the puzzle" to decrease stigma and create a much-needed local conversation about addiction and recovery.

"There is a lot of beauty in recovery. There is a lot of beauty in human beings in general, but you never hear about it," he said. "We need to shake some branches and make some noise. I urge folks in active recovery to come out and start sharing their experiences."

Email Brian Fraga at bfraga@heraldnews.com.

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