- The hardest thing about getting a Mac is telling your parents that you're gay.

- If I had the choice between being gay and owning a Mac, I would rather be gay, because if I owned a Mac I would be both gay and own a horrible computer.

- Imagine a giant cock flying towards your mouth, and there's nothing you can do about it. And you're like "Oh man, I'm gonna have to suck this thing", and you brace yourself to suck this giant cock. But then, at the last moment, it changes trajectory and hits you in the eye. You think to yourself "Well, at least I got that out of the way", but then the giant cock rears back and stabs your eye again, and again, and again. Eventually, this giant cock is penetrating your gray matter, and you begin to lose control of your motor skills. That's when the giant cock slaps you across the cheek, causing you to fall out of your chair. Unable to move and at your most vulnerable, the giant cock finally lodges itself in your anus, where it rests comfortably for 4, maybe 5 hours. That's what using Mac OSX is like.