Latest revision as of 18:54, March 5, 2015

Exploding is recognized worldwide as a post-modernistic romanticist means of expression through spontaneous combustion. Exploding has often been acknowledged as one of the most difficult actions to ever attempt, but here is a quick list of directions to do so in the quickest manner. Remember that if any of these methods is successful, you cannot try the other ones. That said, these methods of explosion are great to try in a crowded shopping mall, on the Gaza strip, or at a family reunion. The kids will love it. This page also explains how to asplode as well as explode.

Surgeon General's Warning: Attempting to Explode may result in several unforeseen symptoms, such as

diarrhea

implosive heart attacks(O_o)

death

dirty pants

WET pants

missing limbs

severe hang-overs

Contents

First, choose a path. There are many ways to incur explosions, and be aware that this process has a 97% fatality rate, with the other 3% having only their head intact. However, sometimes the explosion will leave someone a stub, making their lives even worse. So, proceed at your own risk, which we highly recommend for some good laughs.

If a hammer is not available, try a remote activated explosive, such as C4.

1) Gather one (or two, depending on the potency of the explosion you want to occur) of the following items: Grenade, Bomb or Missile. Also, for ease of use, gather a hammer as well, it aids in the speed of activation. If you have trouble finding these, call Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. He will help.

2) Sit in a well aired location. Failure to do so may result in disentegration.

3) Place explosive in lap.

(NOTE: Pick your choice of action for step 4.)

4a) If you did not take the hammer, manually activate your selected explosive device. Do NOT move.

4b) If you did take the hammer, proceed to beat it upon the explosive until the explosion occurs.

What occurs when you leave them in your mouth for too long. Note that, although this is indeed an explosion, a MUCH greater effect results from swallowing.

Tip

Allow a minute for the pop rocks to enter your stomach before drinking the coke, this assures a decent explosion.

1) Gather the following materials:

X bags of Pop Rocks (X can be more or less for different results.)

X bottles of Coke (X can be more or less for different results. Flavor is irrelevant.)

A large bottle of whiskey, or another addictive alcoholic beverage.

2) Open all bags of Pop Rocks and eat. Do NOT allow them to stay in your mouth for too long (see picture).

2a) Mix the Coke and selected Alcohol together.

3) Drink the Coke/Alcohol mixture.

4) For extra effect, leap up and down to mix all together.

5) Enjoy!

(note: you may have heard that Mikey from the Life Cereal commercial performed this explosion, but it is an urban legend. Mikey was in fact a fictional character and fictional characters can't be exploded.)

Get something to strike match on, such as a rock, your teeth, or a matchbox.

Light the match by striking it against whatever you used to light it. This step is crucial for any explosion to take place. If you avoid this step, then step 6 will never happen.

Now it is important that you (carefully) shove the lit match all the way up your ass. Missing your ass will fail to cause a sufficient explosion, instead causing mild pain near your legs. Hold it there until you start to hear some popping. The popping, which is pockets of intestinal gas going off, will start a chain reaction.

Explode.

If you are reading this step, you have failed to either a: light the match or b: insert the match into your ass properly. Repeat steps 1-5 until you reach step 6.