selfhttp://www.scarleteen.com/taxonomy/term/1686/all
enTrans Summer School: What's the Deal With Gender?http://www.scarleteen.com/trans_summer_school_whats_the_deal_with_gender
<div class="field field-name-field-page-intro field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">We&#039;ve got more genders that you can shake a stick at in Trans Summer School, but what goes with who, where, when, and how? </div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="Trans Summer School: What&#039;s the Deal With Gender?" id="md1" />Mon, 11 Jul 2016 21:02:26 +0000Heather Corinna8031 at http://www.scarleteen.comI'm Gay No Matter Who I'm Withhttp://www.scarleteen.com/article/in_your_own_words/im_gay_no_matter_who_im_with
<div class="field field-name-field-introduction field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">When everyone seems to be so preoccupied with labels, it&#039;s hard to really explain to someone that you&#039;re a &#039;genderqueer-gendernonconforming-demisexual-&#039;gay&#039;-transman&#039; and not have them look at you funny.</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="I&#039;m Gay No Matter Who I&#039;m With" id="md2" />Fri, 18 Oct 2013 06:07:35 +0000weelittlehedgie6773 at http://www.scarleteen.comHow Do I Let Go of Feeling Sexually Unattractive?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/how_do_i_let_go_of_feeling_sexually_unattractive
<div class="field field-name-field-name field-type-text field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="contributor">Porphyria</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="How Do I Let Go of Feeling Sexually Unattractive?" id="md3" /><div class="field field-name-field-detailed-question field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">I had sex for the first time shortly after turning 20 (about a year ago), but I wish I had done it sooner. I know I had been ready and willing at age 16 or so -- the problem was just that no one was interested in me that way, but in the other girls around me. It still hurts, in a bizarre and surprising way. I feel like being a virgin for so long was not my choice; I feel like the decision was made for me by other people who decided I wasn&#039;t attractive enough to be with. To this day I still wonder if I&#039;m intensely sexually unattractive, and if the occurrence at age 20 was just a fluke that will not repeat itself. How can I let go of this? How can I cope with late loss of virginity and stop seeing it as a personal failure to pass muster in terms of attractiveness? </div></div></div>Mon, 22 Jul 2013 20:06:27 +0000Heather Corinna6665 at http://www.scarleteen.comHow does media you read or watch usually make you feel about sex?http://www.scarleteen.com/node/6620
<form action="/taxonomy/term/1686/all/feed?theme=scarleteen" method="post" id="poll-view-voting" accept-charset="UTF-8"><div><div class="poll">
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<div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radios form-group"><div id="edit-choice" class="form-radios"><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12711"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12711" name="choice" value="12711" class="form-radio" />Excited</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12712"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12712" name="choice" value="12712" class="form-radio" />Scared</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12713"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12713" name="choice" value="12713" class="form-radio" />Self-conscious</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12714"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12714" name="choice" value="12714" class="form-radio" />Ambivalent (whatever)</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12715"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12715" name="choice" value="12715" class="form-radio" />Nervous</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12716"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12716" name="choice" value="12716" class="form-radio" />Comfortable</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12717"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12717" name="choice" value="12717" class="form-radio" />Depressed</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12718"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12718" name="choice" value="12718" class="form-radio" />Confused</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12719"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12719" name="choice" value="12719" class="form-radio" />Angry</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12720"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12720" name="choice" value="12720" class="form-radio" />All of the above</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12721"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12721" name="choice" value="12721" class="form-radio" />Something else (tell us in the comments!)</label>
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</div></form>Thu, 11 Jul 2013 19:46:22 +0000Heather Corinna6620 at http://www.scarleteen.comLabia, Singular: Is This Normal?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/labia_singular_is_this_normal
<div class="field field-name-field-name field-type-text field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="contributor">jwondering</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="Labia, Singular: Is This Normal?" id="md4" /><div class="field field-name-field-detailed-question field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">I only have one labia minora. One is not smaller than the other, I only have ONE. It doesn&#039;t hurt, but I&#039;m scared guys will be turned off by it. Is it normal?</div></div></div>Thu, 20 Jun 2013 15:30:54 +0000Heather Corinna6542 at http://www.scarleteen.comIt's My Birthday: What I Want Is For You To Tell the Truthhttp://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2013/04/17/its_my_birthday_what_i_want_is_for_you_to_tell_the_truth
<div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description"> <p>Today is my birthday.</p>
<p>If you've been a reader here for more than a year or two, you might have noticed that some years, I ask for something for my birthday here, and not usually something that's a thing, like a pony, a fire hoop, a scooter with a sidecar for my little dog, or a life-sized Fozzie Bear I could tell bad jokes to while going wokka-wokka (though I'd oh-so-gladly accept all of those things, for the record).</p></div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="It&#039;s My Birthday: What I Want Is For You To Tell the Truth" id="md5" /><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-3 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/sex">sex</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/communication">communication</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/sexuality">sexuality</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/love">love</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/risk">risk</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/social_change">social change</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/intimacy">intimacy</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/vulnerability">vulnerability</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/talking">talking</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/truth">truth</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/life">life</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/gift">gift</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/silence">silence</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/self">self</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/openness">openness</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/being_real">being real</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/secrets">secrets</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/positivity">positivity</a></div></div></div>Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:43:54 +0000Heather Corinna6396 at http://www.scarleteen.comHow influenced do you feel you are by other people's sexual lives?http://www.scarleteen.com/node/5766
<form action="/taxonomy/term/1686/all/feed?theme=scarleteen" method="post" id="poll-view-voting--2" accept-charset="UTF-8"><div><div class="poll">
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<div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radios form-group"><div id="edit-choice--2" class="form-radios"><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12353"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12353" name="choice" value="12353" class="form-radio" />A lot: what other people are doing or say they are has a huge impact on me.</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12354"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12354" name="choice" value="12354" class="form-radio" />Very influenced, but some part of me still knows my sexual life should be about me.</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12355"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12355" name="choice" value="12355" class="form-radio" />Somewhat: others have an impact on me, but no more than my own wants, ideas and sexuality does.</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12356"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12356" name="choice" value="12356" class="form-radio" />A little: I see and hear what others are doing, but mostly feel that&#039;s them, and I&#039;m me.</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12357"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12357" name="choice" value="12357" class="form-radio" />Not at all: someone else&#039;s sexual life or sexuality is theirs, mine is mine.</label>
</div><div class="form-item form-item-choice form-type-radio radio"> <label class="control-label" for="edit-choice-12358"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-12358" name="choice" value="12358" class="form-radio" />I&#039;m not sure, I&#039;ve never really thought about it.</label>
</div></div> <label class="control-label element-invisible" for="edit-choice--2">Choices</label>
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</div></form>Mon, 17 Dec 2012 17:20:32 +0000Heather Corinna5766 at http://www.scarleteen.comThe Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyonehttp://www.scarleteen.com/article/gender/the_rainbow_connection_orientation_for_everyone
<div class="field field-name-field-introduction field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">Everyone has a sexual orientation and a sexual identity. Here are some basics and not-so-basics about what orientation is, some of the ways we can talk about it, how to figure yours out, and finding support.</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone" id="md6" />Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:12:01 +0000Heather Corinna5670 at http://www.scarleteen.comTrans Boyfriend, Uncomfortable Girlfriendhttp://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/trans_boyfriend_uncomfortable_girlfriend
<div class="field field-name-field-name field-type-text field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="contributor">Sarah H</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="Trans Boyfriend, Uncomfortable Girlfriend" id="md7" /><div class="field field-name-field-detailed-question field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">My boyfriend is transexual and often likes to express it. I&#039;m completely fine with this kind of lifestyle but I find myself becoming nervous/distant when he brings it up too much. How should I become more comfortable with it? </div></div></div>Mon, 04 Jun 2012 15:20:48 +0000Heather Corinna5243 at http://www.scarleteen.comI grew up told sex like I just had was absolutely off-limits: what now?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/i_grew_up_told_sex_like_i_just_had_was_absolutely_offlimits_what_now
<div class="field field-name-field-name field-type-text field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="contributor">smf</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="I grew up told sex like I just had was absolutely off-limits: what now?" id="md8" /><div class="field field-name-field-detailed-question field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">Hey! I&#039;m 19, and from a very conservative background-Republic, Christian, the whole shebang. I&#039;m a freshman at a pretty liberal college now, and I admit that I&#039;ve gone the tiniest bit nuts with my newfound freedom. Before coming to college, I&#039;d only made out with three guys - all of whom were Christian, all of whom I was dating at the time. But last weekend, I went home with a guy I didn&#039;t know, and I gave him a blow job and he fingered me. I was very adamant about NOT having sex, because I know I want that to be with someone I love.
I&#039;m feeling pretty guilty now, though. Everyone would be so disappointed back home, because it was made clear to me that EVERYTHING is off limits till marriage. It felt great at the time, but do you think it&#039;s bad because I didn&#039;t know him at all?</div></div></div>Wed, 23 May 2012 16:07:09 +0000Heather Corinna5211 at http://www.scarleteen.comMy boyfriend got so angry at me when my first time hurt. Will lube fix it?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/my_boyfriend_got_so_angry_at_me_when_my_first_time_hurt_will_lube_fix_it
<div class="field field-name-field-name field-type-text field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="contributor">coco23</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="My boyfriend got so angry at me when my first time hurt. Will lube fix it?" id="md9" /><div class="field field-name-field-detailed-question field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">I am 24. I am a virgin. I tried to have sex with my boyfriend. We didn&#039;t use condoms. He tried to put it inside of me. I was in pain. He went in a little. I was feeling uncomfortable. He was so angry. I told him, I wasn&#039;t ready. He was very angry. He told me to get over it. He is so frustrated. Is there way to get over the pain? Does lube work?</div></div></div>Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:22:47 +0000Heather Corinna4825 at http://www.scarleteen.comOn a Boyfriend's Porn, Anger, Healing & Finding the Way to the Healthy & Wholehttp://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/on_a_boyfriends_porn_anger_healing_finding_the_way_to_the_healthy_whole
<div class="field field-name-field-name field-type-text field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="contributor">dragonflyy</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="On a Boyfriend&#039;s Porn, Anger, Healing &amp; Finding the Way to the Healthy &amp; Whole" id="md10" /><div class="field field-name-field-detailed-question field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">This may get a bit vivid. Be warned. I have a twisted sexual history. After being molested at age 5 and again at 14 I somehow allowed myself to get taken advantage of and used in regards to sex. It took me many years to heal and much pain to get to where I am now and I can have a healthy sexual experience with my current boyfriend. I stayed at his house when he was renting a room out of a bachelors pad and I understood and accepted that Playboy magazines were on every toilet and the toilet seats were always up. One day he came to the kitchen with a boner kissing on me and whatnot, a short while after I went up to the bathroom where he had been showering and found a Playboy open. Are you kidding me? How dare he have the audacity to come to me with a boner he got from a slut in a magazine? It was talked about and made clear I am not comfortable with that whatsoever, he should be loyal to me mind body and soul, and I should be enough for him; as it is likewise.
It&#039;s been months since then. I found some porn videos on his phone yesterday and it really repulsed me. I get dressed up for him, I go down on him, I put out frequently. We do get kinky. Now the reason this video offended me so much is I do let him [ejaculate] on my [breasts]: its a thrill for him. In this porn video there&#039;s a girl who looks like me, disturbing enough as is, and shes giving a guy a blowjob till he [ejaculates] on her [breasts], then she turns to the next guy and does it again. Screen changes and she&#039;s [having intercourse] from behind and he [ejaculates] in her, then she crawls forward and starts giving another guy head as yet another comes up to [have sex with her] from behind as well. TOO FAR. It&#039;s not your basic porn scene, and it bothers me that its a twisted repulsive obscene image of something him and I share intimately. We&#039;ve just moved in together and I can&#039;t imagine ever letting him see me naked again. I feel like he twisted our passionate and beautiful sex into some perverted expression of his twisted fantasies.
</div></div></div>Thu, 29 Dec 2011 00:25:35 +0000Heather Corinna4732 at http://www.scarleteen.comI survived sexual assault, then got stuck in a relationship I don't feel good about.http://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/i_survived_sexual_assault_then_got_stuck_in_a_relationship_i_dont_feel_good_ab
<div class="field field-name-field-name field-type-text field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="contributor">antigone68</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="I survived sexual assault, then got stuck in a relationship I don&#039;t feel good about." id="md11" /><div class="field field-name-field-detailed-question field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">I’m a woman in my early twenties and identify as a feminist. Last November I was raped by someone I had previously considered to be a close friend. However, the assault itself isn’t what I am writing about. I’ve read many of Scarleteen’s wonderful articles on sexual assault and I am quite comfortable with the idea that what happened to me isn’t my fault.
Shortly after the assault, I started up a relationship with a man (which includes sex). I realise that it’s not ideal to start a sexual relationship soon after experiencing sexual assault. I don’t regret entering into the relationship, though, as it has (overall) made me very happy and has provided me with support to deal with my assault. My partner knows about my sexual assault.
A few months into the relationship, my desire for sex (intercourse) started to drop.</div></div></div>Mon, 12 Sep 2011 18:11:35 +0000Heather Corinna4415 at http://www.scarleteen.comShe just won't stop pressuring me for sex and babies.http://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/she_just_wont_stop_pressuring_me_for_sex_and_babies
<div class="field field-name-field-name field-type-text field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="contributor">marshmallowthreat1</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="She just won&#039;t stop pressuring me for sex and babies." id="md12" /><div class="field field-name-field-detailed-question field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">I&#039;m in an on again-off again type relationship with my &quot;girlfriend.&quot; We get along and everything, but on some things we don&#039;t see eye to eye. We&#039;ve had sex before, and that&#039;s kind of the problem. She keeps pressuring me into having sex! You don&#039;t really hear it this way with guys, but it&#039;s the truth. She knows what she wants, and she wants it now! It&#039;s not that I don&#039;t want to have sex with her, or that I don&#039;t LIKE having sex with her, but sometimes I just enjoy romance. Or just hanging out. Sex isn&#039;t everything. And another thing: she want&#039;s a baby! She&#039;s nineteen, and I&#039;m eighteen. I&#039;ve reminded her that neither of us drive or have jobs. I just graduated high school (at the time I was still IN school) but still, I can&#039;t change her mind. So I don&#039;t really know what to say. How can i get through to her that sex isn&#039;t everything, and that we&#039;re definitely not ready for a baby?</div></div></div>Tue, 30 Aug 2011 22:11:06 +0000Heather Corinna4409 at http://www.scarleteen.comLetting Go of the Wrong Stuff to Get a Hold on the Right Stuffhttp://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/letting_go_of_the_wrong_stuff_to_get_a_hold_on_the_right_stuff
<div class="field field-name-field-name field-type-text field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="contributor">Kyra</div></div></div><meta itemprop="name" content="Letting Go of the Wrong Stuff to Get a Hold on the Right Stuff" id="md13" /><div class="field field-name-field-detailed-question field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" itemprop="description">I am 22 years old and have been with my one and only boyfriend for over 2 1/2 years now. I love him very much and we get along well, but our sexual life has always had problems. These are the main issues: 1) I cannot orgasm except through the use of a vibrator, 2) I&#039;m often not interested in sex/don&#039;t really feel anything enjoyable from sex, and 3) I never initiate anything, which makes my boyfriend very frustrated. We&#039;ve been having sex for about 2 years now, and these issues are as much of a problem as they were when we first started. Regarding the problem #1 (no orgasm except with vibrator), my boyfriend has tried everything. He will pleasure me for long periods of time, try to make me feel sexy, but NOTHING happens--I don&#039;t even come close to orgasming (in fact, I usually just get sore from the contact). I&#039;ve tried to pleasure myself, but this is even worse--I hate the feeling of masturbating and don&#039;t derive any pleasure from it. When we discovered that I CAN orgasm via a vibrator, we were both thrilled; however, it usually takes me a good 15-25 minutes to orgasm from the vibrator (on the highest setting), and the orgasm usually lasts only a few seconds--it just feels like a lot of work for barely any result to me. Because I&#039;m not interested in sex very often and I cannot orgasm via penetration or manual stimulation, my boyfriend believes I&#039;m not sexually attracted to him and is quite upset. I don&#039;t know what to do and it is ruining our relationship. I am religious and come from a home schooled background where sex was not talked about much, and so I often feel awkward when my boyfriend tries to discuss it with me (and going to a sex therapist is out of the question). </div></div></div>Tue, 05 Jul 2011 15:43:43 +0000Heather Corinna3779 at http://www.scarleteen.com