Pop Quiz: 25 Questions Families Should Ask Before Choosing a Private High School

There’s a lot to consider in the search for a private high school. With 20-plus private secondary schools in the metro area, it can be overwhelming. At the same time, “St. Louis is rich in private independent education, so there’s really no bad answer,” says Barat Academy president Debby Watson. Area experts shared their advice on finding the perfect match.

Before you start looking

One to three years before enrollment

1. What does high school success look like? Parents and children need to discuss this question together, because it will determine a lot, says Eddie Krenson, vice president of non-public school services for school-accrediting organization AdvancED. “What are your long-term goals? What kind of experience do you want to have academically, artistically, athletically?” he asks. “Get some of those larger life ambitions on the table, and then look at the curriculum and offerings.”

2. What have been some of the student’s most positive experiences so far? Students should try to identify what they’ve enjoyed in school so far so they know what kind of environment, curriculum, and extracurricular programs they want or need. “If you have a child who really would like a smaller, nurturing, close-knit community, then you’re going to be looking for something different than if you have a child who wants to have a competitive large playing field,” says Myra McGovern, vice president of media for the National Association of Independent Schools. Parents should also think about what they’ve liked, including before- and after-school programs, bus pickup, and their level of involvement with the school.

3. What’s currently missing the mark? There are probably a few things that your family would change about your current schools. Jot those desires down, too, whether it’s more one-on-one tutelage or practical issues such as a later start time.

Beginning the Search

One to three years before enrollment

You may start searching as early as sixth grade, but don’t rely solely on digital research. Visit prospective schools’ sporting events, plays, and summer camps, and talk to other parents. “This is where you’re going to be able to experience a school, get to know the kind of people that are there, and get to know some of the people interested in attending a school like this,” says Krenson.

4. What is the school’s mission? A mission statement offers key insight into how a school defines success. Does it dovetail with how your family defines it? “I would say that’s probably the most important thing,” says Jamie Driver, executive director of the Independent Schools of St. Louis. “Does the school’s value statement and mission and philosophy align with ours as a family and what we’re looking for in education for our kids?”

5. Does the school have all of your musts? Eliminate any school that doesn’t have what your child wants to focus on.

6. Don’t ask how much it will cost—yet. Experts agree that you shouldn’t start eliminating schools on the basis of tuition costs this early in the search. “That’s the last place I’d look, is price point,” says Watson. “I’d find what works for my kid, and I’d go to the school and ask, ‘How can I make this happen?’”

Visiting Schools

One year before enrollment

At the beginning of eighth grade, students typically start visiting high schools. Most schools invite prospective students to shadow another student. Parents should meet with administrators, tour campus, and talk to teachers and counselors. Students often ask about extracurricular activities, homework, and teachers, but there are other important questions.

7. Why did you choose this school? Ask your student ambassador why he or she decided to attend the school. “It might give the prospective a sense of whether or not this student has similar needs or goals,” says McGovern. Other questions for current students: What do you like about the school? What would you change?

8. Where do your friends live? “Logistically, it can be a challenge that sometimes your friends may come from 25 minutes from where you live,” says Andy Gilla, coordinator of accreditation services for the Independent Schools Association of the Central States.

9. What is the social life and community like? Because you’re going to be new, you need to know whether the school is welcoming. Ask other students: Did you know anyone here before you came? Are there cliques? Did you have trouble making friends?

10. What surprised you? Though you might have a good sense of the school, there are often surprises along the way. Perhaps current students weren’t aware of the community service requirements or didn’t realize that they wouldn’t be able to take part in as many extracurricular activities as they’d like because of schoolwork. Find out ahead of time.

11. Is the sports program competitive? Some schools have compulsory athletic programs (everyone must play some sport). Other schools have participatory programs (anyone who likes may play). Still others have competitive programs (students may try to play but may not make the team). Which do you prefer, and how important is it?

12. Why are you checking out this school? This is a question for other prospective students on the tour. “Students shouldn’t just dismiss other prospective students,” says Krenson. “These could be classmates. Get to know them. Ask why they’re interested and other schools they’re looking at.”

Questions for parents

13. How does the school ensure my kid’s safety? “Safety is huge,” says Watson. She suggests considering not just campus safety but also technological safeguards. Ask what role technology plays and how the school keeps students safe from inappropriate online conversations or social media.

14. What’s your school improvement plan? “The school that your child enters is going to be different when they leave it,” says Gilla. “Buildings are being built. There are new programs. There may be diversity initiatives. That’s something parents don’t think about that they maybe should.”

15. How do you help struggling students? Find out how educators assist children in need of help. When are parents contacted, and what happens if the workload proves too much?

16. What does the faculty do for professional development? “It’s usually a sign of a healthy school when it makes the investment to allow faculty and staff to pursue excellence in their profession,” Gilla says. “A happy, fulfilled faculty and staff usually help establish a climate that is going to be a positive place for students.”

17. How does the school approach the partnership with the family? Though your child is the focus, the entire family becomes part of the school’s community. “Will the family feel really welcomed here?” asks Driver. “Is there a close partnership?”

18. How does the school handle discipline problems? “Because private schools have selective admission and well-established policies about academic and behavioral expectations, there’s a low tolerance for bad behavior,” says McGovern. Find out how kids who break the rules are disciplined. Is the school strict? When do students risk suspension or expulsion? Even if you believe that your child would never cause any issues, it’s helpful to know how the school deals with other students who might give your child trouble. You can also ask how the school ensures that kids aren’t bullied or whether it offers character education programs.

19. How do you maintain a nurturing, competitive, academically rigorous environment? Try to figure out how the school’s mission manifests itself in the school experience. In other words, “How does the school live what it says it lives?” says Gilla. Consider phrasing your questions with key words in the school’s philosophy such as “caring,” “individual achievement–oriented,” and “diverse.”

20. May I speak with current students’ parents? “It’s really important to talk to somebody who has their child at the same school,” says Driver. Questions to ask: Why did you send your child here? What interested you? What do you like or dislike? Are there carpool programs? The school should be able to provide you with contacts or—better yet—allow you to visit with other parents at school events.

21. Is this a place where my family can be happy and truly successful? Ultimately, this is the question that parents and students should try to answer before applying. If you’re still not sure, talk to more people. “To get a good fit is pretty subjective,” says Gilla. “There’s an art and science to you. You see the outputs and data, and yet there’s just an overall feeling between the parents and students about which school would offer the student the best chance for success.”

Financial Matters

Less than one year from enrollment

In late fall or early spring, kids narrow their choices and start applying. Now is the time to start considering costs.

22. Have I accounted for extra costs? Keep in mind what tuition includes and what it doesn’t. “Does the school require that you buy a uniform? That’s an additional cost,” says Watson. “Do you pay a book fee? Do you buy your own books? Does the school have an inclusive lunch program? It’s the responsibility of the incoming family to learn that information.”

23. What scholarships are available? Most schools offer financial aid in the form of reduced tuition (not loans, as is common in higher education). But some schools also offer merit-based or work-study scholarships. Some faith-based schools even have third-party scholarships through a parish or archdiocese.

24. What’s the likelihood that the amount of financial aid will decrease in the future? Depending on what financial aid the student receives, it’s worth asking whether there are additional resources. Either way, families must reapply for financial aid every year. “It’s not 100 percent guaranteed that you’ll get the same award all four years,” says Driver. Though schools often can’t predict how aid will change, try to figure out as much as you can about impending fluctuations before signing on the dotted line.

Reflection

One or two semesters after enrollment

25. Did we make the right decision for our

family? With any luck, your family has found the perfect school. But even though your student is enrolled, you can still reevaluate. Are those goals that you noted at the very beginning being met? Is your child happy? Are you happy? “Schools should be helping students find their innate talents and helping them spend time in those talents,” says Krenson. “That’s where children are going to achieve not only success but also long-term happiness.”

Finding a Niche

St. Louis boasts eight of the state’s top 10 private high schools, according to recent rankings by Niche, a website devoted to reviewing schools and neighborhoods. The rankings are based on such key factors as matriculation rates and quality of colleges, parent and student surveys, test scores, student-teacher ratios, and diversity. Among the top schools:

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Rosalind Early loves writing, cookies, dancing and theater. She's a luddite (or a privacy junkie) and can't be followed, friended, Tweeted or Snapchatted, but welcomes emails at earlyr@wustl.edu, and—if you can wrangle it—messages by carrier pigeon.