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Archive for the ‘relationship’ Category

I have days I don’t feel quite right. I’m sure you have those as well. You’re not physically sick, but there’s this feeling down deep in the pit of your stomach that nags at you as if to say, “something is wrong, but I don’t know what.” It’s more of a psychological issue than a physical one. Sometimes fatigue combined with stress can wreak havoc on our bodies and minds. Yesterday was one of those days for me. Interestingly, I found that for me there is a antidote to that depressing ambiguous feeling: encouragement. Just as I was pushing through the day and pressing forward I got a call from someone who during our conversation took time to encourage me. Those were kind words that I didn’t expect to hear but they worked themselves deep into my soul and began to soothe and comfort in a way I had not…

Starting a new chapter in life is one of the most exciting things to me; it presents new professional possibilities, new friendships and a way to a fresh start. Too often some of our past broken relationships and mistakes have a way of following us around like the proverbial dead albatross on our necks. A new beginning allows us to take the lessons we’ve learned with us and leave the dead albatross behind. While most of us are not likely to relocate and start a new life anytime soon, we’ll probably meet and engage someone today for the first time. That can be just the new beginning you and I need. The longer I live the more I’m convinced that the most important assets I have are relationships. As I look in my life, the most rewarding days have been the ones shared with those whom I love. We don’t…

Nothing great happens without risk. That’s true about our relationships as well. I’m not sure it’s a byproduct of maturity, personality, the fact I’m from another culture, or a combination of all of it, but I have found myself taking more risks in my relationships lately. The response has been worth the risk. It’s easier and safer to walk alongside my male friends while keeping the relationship on a shallow, trivial level. We men are great at that. We can talk about sports, work, training, and our troubles with women all day long. As a matter of fact, we can spend time with someone for years and never really know them. The American male relational protocol perpetuates this mindset: keep it interesting, keep it light, and keep surface. Introspection, after all, is the stuff of the other gender; the one we do not understand. I believe we all need to…

“You are the average of the five people closest to you.” I have been thinking about this statement for several years now. The more I analyze it, the more it seems to ring true, even though I cannot prove it. If it’s true, those closest to us have a tremendous influence in our total well being. They impact us: professionally financially spiritually physically How do you feel about the idea that you are the average of the five people closest to you?

Sunday is mother’s day. Somehow my boys, 16 and 12 still rely on dad to make sure mom has a good day. So as I was thinking of how to make the day more special for their mom, and my wife, I decided to share them with you. First I got a hold of a great book from best selling author, Dr. Meg Meeker “10 Habits of a Happy Mother.” Dr. Meeker is a Pediatrician, mother and best-selling author of six books. She is the country’s leading authority on parenting, teens and children’s health. I even thought about buying one for my mother as well until I realized that she doesn’t read English and the book is not available in Portuguese. (You can win a free copy today by stopping by Dr. Meeker’s blog www.megmeekermd.com ). But beyond the book gift, I also thought of some more personal ways to…

“You are a very hard person to buy for. You have everything you need,” said a good friend looking at me as to say, “you’re spoiled.” Well, he’s right. I have everything I need. As a matter of fact I would go even one step further to say I have most things I want. Yes, I’m spoiled. While I don’t consider myself financially wealthy, I should since, by the world’s standards, most of us living in America would be labeled “rich.” So the question of the hour turned into a simple and yet practical one: What do you give someone who has everything? While the discussion was general in nature, it was clearly addressed at me. The more narrow translation would be “Maurilio, what can anyone give you that you either don’t have or wouldn’t go out and buy it for yourself if you wanted it?” So I thought for…

I saw this video a couple of weeks ago and it impacted me more than many sermons on the subject I have heard over the years. It’s not only powerful but a work of art as well. Short Film produced about the immediate emotions of waking up the morning after an affair. What kind of emotions did you feel after watching it?

I have several friends who are single and a lot of our conversations revolve about whom to date and what to look in a wife . While I have made a lot of mistakes over my lifetime, and I mean a lot, I got one of the most important decisions right: I married well. Outside my re-generational faith experience as I accepted Christianity and made peace with Christ’s death on the cross for me, my marriage to Gwen was the most important decision to date. It has impacted every single area of my life in ways I could not have imagined before we were married. So to my single friends who are looking or dating, here are some thoughts I processed before I asked Gwen to marry me. Does she truly love God? “Christian dating” means more than going out with someone you picked up at church. People pay lip…

I’m glad I didn’t give up on the relationship. I was disappointed and thought that it was time to sever ties. But I didn’t. And I have not regretted my decision. Have you ever given up on a friend, a coworker, a client? If you are like me chances are you have. So before you let a relationship “go” consider: Find a proper time and place to let them know how you feel. You should not “let them have it” when you’re upset or in the middle of a bad day. Sometimes your bad day gets folded into the emotion of the discussion. No matter the response, promise yourself you will not react–only listen. During a difficult conversation I am more interested in getting my point across than listening. Reflect on the conversation and try to put yourself in their shoes. Examine your motives. Why are you really upset? (This…

Success doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in the context of relationships. I don’t believe there are any self-made people. Along the way, successful people intersected with those whom saw glimpses of potential and helped them to discover, nurture and deploy the skills that eventually got them where they are. I know that’s how it happened with me. While the definition of “success” varies wildly, I consider myself successful: I have a strong faith, a great family, a viable business, and friends the world over. But I didn’t get here on my own for sure. There’s no way I could name on this post those who have made a difference in my life. But they fit 4 different relationship roles that have helped me succeed. The coach. These are the teachers, coaches, trainers who believe in my abilities when I didn’t even believe myself. I remembered I teacher in…