The Love and Laughter Lounge is based on my popular book Embracing the Mystery. ( A book designed to maximize human potential and help people live lives rooted in love, laughter and joy. GET YOUR COPY NOW at www.motivationalplus.com

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Some people reject quotations as inadequate or insufficient
because they don’t contain anything but a seed of truth and/or wisdom. That is true
due to the fact that a quote is but one or two sentences and therefore can’t contain
anything but a seed of wisdom. Isn’t a seed of wisdom and truth often enough? I am reminded of the old adage, “From a tiny
seed a might oak does grow.” But if that brief gem of wisdom prompts further
thought or reflection isn’t that worth something especially in an age where a
lot of people never take time to indulge in the pleasure of thinking or
analysis?

I believe that quotations, when they strike a chord with the
reader, can affirm or challenge their position or beliefs and result in further
reflection. When they evoke the response, “Isn’t that the truth?” or, “I never
thought of that before!” or,” That was funny.” they have great value.

There are two classifications of quotations, funny and
serious. I love both but have a preference for the funny ones. They don’t have
to be rolling in the aisle funny but they have to be at least amusing to you
the reader.

Here are 10 of my
favourites from my vast collection. Hope you enjoy their WIT (WISDOM, INSIGHT, and
TRUTH)

1. You wouldn't worry what people thought about you if you only
knew how seldom they did.

2. To expect life to treat you fairly because you're a good
person is like expecting a bull not to charge you because you're a vegetarian.

3. Worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something
to do, but won't get you anywhere.

4. Pain and suffering are a lot like gas....they too shall
pass.

5. Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect
to be paid back.

6. Anyone who says that swimming is good for the figure has
never taken a real good look at a whale.

7. A bore is always "ME" deep in conversation.

8. Some people think their lives are full, when really
they're just cluttered.

9. If at first you don't succeed, try not to be amazed.

10. A leader without a sense of humour is like a grass
cutter at a cemetery. You have a lot of people under you paying absolutely no
attention.

George Bernard Shaw once said that if you find something
funny search it for hidden truth. Here are few pearls of wisdom packaged in
humour. Enjoy.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

We have to be careful that our humour is never toxic or abusive. Toxic humour gets a laugh at the expense of another's dignity and well-being. It destroys our confidence and erodes our self-esteem and self-worth, which, in all too many of us, are already far too low.

For some reason we seem to be drawn to toxic or abusive humour. Perhaps it's because we see so much of it on television and in movies. It's not funny being mean.

My senior high school students hated toxic humour but were efficient in using it. They could quickly crush the spirit of another student with sarcastic humour, but if they were on the receiving end, it was a different story. It wasn't as funny.

I was giving a motivational talk to a group of 300 men and women from TOPS (Take off Pounds Sensibly) when a young woman approached me with the following story of toxic, abusive humour.
She and a group of friends were at an Octoberfest (The German Harvest Festival) dance in Kitchener, Ontario. When someone informed the band leader that it was her birthday he made the announcement and led the people in singing "Happy Birthday". When the song was finished the band leader dedicated the next polka to her. A handsome band member left his place in the orchestra to be her dance partner. As he held this attractive woman, in his arms the band began to play the "She's too Fat for Me Polka", the one that goes, "I don't want her you can have her she's too fat for me... " The woman told me that everyone laughed including her. But inside, her heart was breaking. Never use humour to hurt another, and never assume that just because you don't mean to hurt another that you actually don't do so.

We never know how our humour is going to be received by the person on the receiving end of it. You might think that it's harmless fun and you are only kidding, but your words could be doing serious harm. The phrase, "I was just joking," does not excuse or justify toxic or abusive humour.

It is important to remember that we are all fragile, sensitive creatures who long to be appreciated and respected. I think an important rule of thumb, when it comes to avoiding toxic, humour is to ask yourself how you would feel if you were the brunt of the remark you plan on making to another. Answer honestly and if there is one speck of doubt don't make the remark. Because once the words leave your mouth the hurt is done and you can't get them back.

"Toxic humour is a dishonest way of making yourself look good by making another look bad." MM

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Last night I beheld the full moon in all its magic and mystery. I have always been captivated by the beauty of the natural world. Even as a young man I used to go to the shores of Lake Superior and sit, gazing at the sun sizzling its way into the horizon. It somehow calmed and quieted my anxious spirit.

One of my favourite outdoor authors is Sigurd Olsen. In one of his books he wrote that we must discover listening points in nature where we can be still and listen to and be healed by the rhythms of the universe. This Lake Superior sunset became one of my most significant listening points. In fact I liked it so much that I now include it in my talks on stress management.

I have always had an intimate relationship with the star-studded, moonless sky but when you add moonlight to the mix the whole picture takes on a more serene, soothing, and mystical tone.

I love to lie on a beach when the moon is full and the sky is totally clear and watch the moonlight shimmer across the surface of the water and feel the gentle breeze against my face.

The scene becomes even more calming and comforting when it is accompanied by undulating waves gently caressing the shore. It just seems to strongly connect me to the eternal thrust of time. I become convinced that what I know and love in life will somehow continue through eternity.

As a high school teacher I used to take my senior classes on an overnight retreat once a year. As darkness fell we would move close to the river and light a campfire. There we would sit and sing and laugh and listen to the sounds of the night. Just being together in the outdoors made us aware of our connection to one another within the embrace of nature. It was a wonderful experience and it is my hope that it became, for some, one of their listening points filed in their memory to be accessed later in life to bring peace to their stressful lives.

As I close this reflection the words of Sophocles whisper across the centuries, " Mortal I know I am... short lived, yet whenever I stand and watch the multitude of swirling stars I no longer tread this earth but rise to feast with God and enjoy the food of the immortals."

With these words echoing in mind I say goodnight to a world bathed in moonlight and send prayerful thoughts to all who walk gently on its surface in love, peace and joy.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

I am always on the lookout for articles that reinforce my strong belief that laughter is the best medicine. For many years people would say it so often that it became cliché. In the past few years things have changed. More evidence is emerging to validate the claim and of course there I am in the midst of the discussion gobbling up all the supportive information I can.

Ever since I was introduced to the writings of Norman Cousins in, "Anatomy of an Illness", I have been fascinated by the role of the human mind in healing and wellness, specifically the role of humour and laughter. When Norman Cousins was diagnosed with a terminal illness in midlife, he immediately set out to alter his fate.

Through attitudinal transformation he shifted his thinking from negative to positive, from fear to hope. By saturating his life with humour and laughter he was able, with the co-operation of modern medicine of course, to overcome his terminal illness.

When Cousins died a few years ago he was in his seventies and the illness had never returned.
Recently, researchers at the Loma Linda Medical School in California validated the findings of Norman Cousins regarding the role of humour and laughter in healing and wellness. Doctor Stanley Tann has discovered that laughing frequently helps healthy people stay happy and healthy and sick people recover more rapidly.

He also found that laughter triggered physiological changes that benefit the lungs, muscles, heart, nerves, hormones and the entire immune system. Humour, it was discovered, kicked the immune system into high gear and actually prevented stress from undermining our immunity. With the renewed emphasis on a healthy immune system in recent years this is good news indeed.

Humour was found to reduce stress levels by one half and significantly raise the levels of gamma interferon, an immune system hormone. This alone is an important medical find due to the fact that stress is a leading cause of illness throughout North America. I read recently that 85 percent of all doctor visits are related to stress induced illness.

The activity of killer cells which destroy viruses and tumours was increased by twenty percent in the presence of laughter and humour. "B" cells, which produce antibodies to combat diseases are empowered by laughter, and an immune system component called immunoglobulin increased by ten percent.

By the way, nervous and cynical laughter did not produce the same positive results.

Our culture seems to have elevated the quest for perfection to the status of virtue. When someone is described as a perfectionist they are frequently admired and envied. A perfectionist, in my opinion, is someone living in a constant state of dissatisfaction and that isn't healthy. To perfectionists, no one, including their spouse, children, family, friends and themselves ever measures up to their impossible standards. Perfectionists spend their lives never being happy with what they have accomplished, always wanting things to be perfect. I could have or should have done better becomes the motto by which they live.

Can you imagine the anxiety involved in living with a perfectionist? I recall teaching a bright high school senior whose mother was a perfectionist. After receiving an A in my subject she looked rather emotionless. I asked her if she was pleased with the mark she achieved and she said, "Yes, but my Mother won't be. She'll want to know why it isn't an A+."

I don't know if full blown perfectionism can be changed without psychological intervention, but I do think that it can definitely be avoided by adopting more reasonable expectations of yourself and others. How?

* Make friends with your imperfections and those of others. Sure it is important to strive to do well in what you attempt, but if your best efforts don't result in what you wanted to achieve, don't be too hard on yourself. It is more important to strive to improve than to insist on perfection.

* Strive to find pleasure in what you do, not perfection.

* Believe in the old saying ANYTHING WORTH DOING IS WORTH DOING BADLY. If you enjoy playing the piano but play it poorly, keep playing for the sheer pleasure it gives you. It isn't important how well you play. It is more important that you get pleasure out of doing it.

* Never let your urge to do something well become a compulsion to do it perfectly. Just commit yourself to the joy of doing and enjoy the thrill of improving at it.

* Live by the law of reasonable expectations rather than by the law of perfection. Not only is perfection stressful, it's also boring. Imperfection evokes humour and laughter while perfection evokes stress, frustration and anger. One promotes health and well-being; the other, anxiety and dis-ease.

* Learn to laugh at yourself and your imperfections. If you don't, you leave the job to someone else.

* Human beings, by nature, are imperfect so relax and enjoy the fact.

I want people to feel motivated but I don't want them to become obsessed with perfection. If we feel compelled to perfection and then never achieve it (because no one ever does) then we risk not even trying to achieve anything.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

We all know that bullying exists and is having a disastrous impact on the health and well-being of our students throughout our country and beyond. What we need to know is what we can do about it so that every child is cherished and respected and has an opportunity to achieve their unique potential in a kind and affirming community.

What I want to do with this article is provide busy teachers with a easily accessible guide that provides them with effective tips, tools and techniques to develop a bully free classroom.
While It might be unrealistic to think that one teacher can stop bullying in our entire school we can do a great deal to stop bullying in our classroom and in so doing sow seeds of peaceful co-existence that will have a positive impact on both staff and students. From every seed a mighty oak does grow.
It is important to realize that people bully others because it works for them and we let them get away with it. If we can make it so it doesn't work for them and we won't let them get away with it we have a good chance changing this destructive behaviour.

Why do bullies bully? Well, they bully others for 4 reasons.

1. Attention

2. Power
3. Revenge
4. Inadequacy.

When attempting to put a stop to antisocial behaviour we must always keep in mind what motivates it. Responding to the behaviour without considering and responding to what motivates it is futile.
Here are just ten strategies that work. Give them a try and watch great things happens.

1. At the beginning of the year have class discussions on the kind of classroom we want to have. Have the students be as specific as possible. This will form the basis of a class vision and values statement which will be displayed on the wall for future reference. Use the vision statement as the standard by which the class can challenge behaviour that doesn't support class values. When people of all ages get together to set standards they always set the bar high so build on this fact.

2. CHARM your classroom. This is an acronym that stands for Communication, Humour, Attitude, Recognition and Mutual Respect. These elements alone will do wonders to create a bully free classroom.

3. Celebrate and affirm the giftedness of each student. Every child has a unique gift that can and should be celebrated and in so doing have a positive impact on the social fabric of your class. Find it and affirm it in the presence of the class and watch great things happen. It is difficult to bite the hands that affirm you.

4. Try the 2 for 10 strategy to connect and develop rapport with difficult students. It is a simple strategy that works wonders. All you have to do is spend 2 minutes per day for 10 days in a row with a difficult student in light conversation. Ask questions about their likes, dislikes, interests, hobbies etc. Just get them talking and listen carefully to what they have to say. There is nothing more flattering or bonding as the undivided attention of another human being. This is nothing more than a relationship building exercise to show a young person you care. Remember that student will never care what you think until they think that you care.

5. Be the change you want to see in your class. Both students and teacher must challenge one another in creating a social climate free of sarcasm, ridicule and putdowns.

6. Turn your class into and ICU (Intensive Caring Unit). Remember that love is the most powerful healing force in the universe. Put its power to work creating a thoughtful, caring and compassionate community.

7. If there is a child in your class who has a reputation as a bully try to get them on your side. Give them a productive task to do and affirm their efforts and results both privately and publicly.

8. To develop empathy among your students get the students writing on How Would You Feel If... (Use stories and photos from the newspaper to stimulate their empathic response) Class bulletin boards on the topic are also effective.

9. Have a Compassion Board illustrating people responding to human need locally, nationally and internationally. If exposure to violence in the media can foster insensitivity then exposure to peace, compassion and non-violence can foster sensitivity.

10. Promote the acceptance of others not tolerance. We as humans want to be accepted, respected and appreciated, not tolerated.

These ten ways to bully proof your classroom are from a, soon to be published, special report by the same name.

Mike is a former teacher who now speaks to teachers and parents throughout Canada and the USA on teacher/parent relations, teacher stress and burnout and on taming toxic bullies among us.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

I think it was Henry Ford who said,” Why is it that when all
I need is a good pair of hands, they have to come attached to a human being?”
He too realized that workplace problems are inevitably people problems and when
you begin to solve people problems you begin to solve problems in the
workplace.

In a recent Ipsos-Reid poll it was revealed that 60 percent
of all employees surveyed were dissatisfied with their job and that 43 percent
of these were actively or passively looking for other employment.The cause of this was discovered to be 5
workplace diseases list below.

* Stress

Employee stress is definitely on the rise and if not
addressed can cause serious problems for both employers and employees.I read recently that half of all Long Term
Disability claims are stress related and that a good number of worker absentees
throughout the year are stress induced.

* High Employee Turnover

When people have to function in an unhealthy stress filled
work environment where appreciation and praise are absent they want out and
begin to look elsewhere for meaningful and more satisfying employment.

* Low Morale

I believe that low morale is the inevitable result of a lack
of personalism in the workplace. When your staff perceives that they and their
well-being are priorities for management morale begins to improve.It is in the best interest of management to
care for the health, well-being and happiness of its employees.

* Low Productivity

People who don’t feel valued don’t produce as well as those
who do.This is a basic axiom in my
opinion. It rings true in every area of human interaction.I once had a woman approach me with glowing
praise for her supervisor. When I asked why she felt this way she handed me a
brief note written by the supervisor. It contained two lines and they said.
Dear Joy, Just a note to let you know how much I appreciate your presence and
hard work in our department. We are better for having you among us.”That’s all it said, but the impact on this
woman was profound. She would have walked over a field of razor blades in her
bare feet for this person. Two little lines.People produce when they feel cherished.

* Lack of Creative Problem Solving

When people work in a climate of encouragement, empowerment,
appreciation and fun they are more willing to contribute their creativity to
the solution of company problems.Every
organization needs creative employees and creativity thrives in a climate where
people are listened to, valued and encouraged to laugh. Always remember that
there is a huge reservoir of creative potential within the individual and
collective wisdom of the group.All one
has to do is tap it.

* Lack of Effective Communication

Communication is fundamentally the sharing of self with
others. In an effective workplace employees need to be encouraged to honestly
and comfortably say what is on their minds.I once asked a manager, “Who tells you what you need to know and don’t
want to hear?” He thought for a moment and said, “Nobody”.This is a tragic situation but a very common
one. Most workers keep their opinions to themselves for fear of being labelled
a boat rocker.I have news for you.A company who wants to maximize the potential
of its staff and reap the benefits of their collective wisdom must encourage
people to be boat rockers. Boat rockers are a valuable asset to any company or
organization.Isn’t it sad that they are
considered liabilities?It is in the
best interest of any company to encourage people to give their opinions whether
they are dissenting or not.No one
person has a monopoly on wisdom, insight or correct thinking. We are richer
when we access the attributes of the group.

When you consider these 5 workplace dis-eases and
their negative impact on your business or organization you will be hard pressed
to find a more effective, cost efficient solution than a program including
humour, laughter, appreciation and praise.They fit together like hand and glove and are very simple to implement. All
you need is a commitment from upper management and a few training sessions to
teach the hows and whys of such a program. Once you have your people on board
you will be able to see your workplace culture improve significantly.

Mike Moore speaks and writes on the power of humour, attitude
and appreciation to help people in all walks of life maximize their unlimited potential
and improve their relationships.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Each year businesses and organizations throughout North
America have office parties or staff barbeques to celebrate a special season or
to thank employees for jobs well done. While they can be fun they can also be
dangerous to your personal and professional image. Many a reputation has been
tarnished or severely damaged by not knowing office party survival skills.

I frequently speak to businesses throughout Canada and the
USA on Humour in the Workplace, Stress Management, and Dealing with Difficult People
and my experience has taught me that the office party can be risky, stressful and
a threat to your job security if you don’t have the necessary coping skills.

But never fear for I am about to offer you 7 sure-fire tips
on how to survive while still having a great time.

1. Don’t get drawn into destructive conversations about the boss.You can listen and say, “That’s interesting.
I didn’t realize you felt that way.”Whatever you do don’t agree with a toxic comment or get involved in a
toxic dialogue.

2.Don’t let your
hair down at an office party.You aren’t
among close friends who love and admire you in spite of your shortcomings.There are some present who might consider you
a threat and are just looking to identify and exploit a chink in your armour.

3.If you take a
drink make sure you make it last a long time by taking small sips.Alcohol loosens lips and at an office party
your lips should not be loosened. You don’t need your supervisor calling you
into their office the next day saying that they heard from the grapevine that
you had some negative and unkind words to say about them or others at the
party.

4.Be careful what
you contribute to party conversations.People under the influence of alcohol can easily distort what you say
when they filter it through an alcohol induced haze.Once you say something you can’t take it
back.

5.Throughout the
party roam around taking in everything.Be friendly, smile, listen and monitor your mouth.

6.Don’t gossip about
other staff members. While you might be curious to know more don’t appear to be
too eager. Just listen. And then keep your mouth shut. You don’t want to get a
reputation for being someone who takes delight in spreading gossip about
others. Remember that speaking ill of others is a dishonest way of praising
ourselves. If you feel a keen desire to
speak about someone say something affirming and positive.

7.Don’t flirt. It’s
just too risky especially if your partner is at the party with you or jealousy
from someone else raises its ugly head.