Can I call you ________? Since I’ve written to you several times, I feel like I know you. I apologize if I’m being too forward. I haven’t heard back since I wrote to you on the 17th of September about the comics page, and how I hoped that you might revamp it soon (especially by including the forthcoming Diesel Sweeties by Rich Stevens). He’s starting to pick up steam, with major papers in major markets (I’ve been sworn to secrecy, but one of those markets rhymes with “eattle”) deciding to add Diesel Sweeties to their comics page lineup. I’m hoping that in the time since we last spoke, you’d given some consideration to adding the strip yourself; United Features Syndicate has a promo kit waiting for you!

If you’re still hesitant, maybe Mister Washington can change your mind … he has a brother, you know. If you can resist the siren song of cold hard cash, how about cookies? You like cookies? I’ll bake you cookies if you give Diesel Sweeties a look.

In any event, thank you again for your time. In all seriousness, I do want to help you find the best mix of comics for ________, and I really do think that Diesel Sweeties can be a cornerstone of that effort.