Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Michelle’s world collapsed when her day started with the
news of her dad’s accident. He was critical. His doomed journey was to San
Diego to see his daughter. Michelle was up earlier than usual in excitement to
see her dad who would be with her any moment. But here she was sitting at the café,
down the road waiting for her cab to arrive. Restlessly she searched for the
hotels near the hospital where her dad struggled for his life. Her dried
emotions made her look pale and oblivious to the world around her. Little did
she notice that her gleam behind the glass, where reflection of the two lives merged,
made a perfect click for a photographer.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

One certainly needs to be the destiny’s child to have a
smooth sail over the tumultuous facets of life, which I never was and to
increase the severities, I received no emotional back up from the home front.
But I guess, the tougher things get for me every time, stronger it makes me and
yes more determined which transforms it into a battle with life. Life which
keeps presenting hurdles to pin me down but I keep moving ahead in pursuit of
my dreams. It happens always, only sometimes the tussles are short lived and at
times they continue with difficulties at each step but one thing is common, all
my dreams have made me struggle. The more I struggle, the sweeter the achievement
becomes. At times my deep inner self questions my being for being so different,
but I proudly rub it off, for being uncommon I have always loved and this is
the story of one such offbeat chase which shaped me for my entire life, in fact
became my way of life thereafter.

Being in uniform had always been a fantasy, but it took
the shape of an intense desire when I wore it for the first time during my NCC
days. At home, indulgence into any non academic activity was always discouraged
but this one received a nod due to the various career benefits it offered to a
‘C’ certificate holder. But when I bagged the opportunity to represent my state
in the RD parade camp in New Delhi, it wasn’t that easy. The age old formula
worked even this time when my instructors and friends managed convincing my
parents. It was a different flight altogether which livened up my dreams. My
first real life encounter with the men in olive greens accentuated the madness
which was much beyond the charm of the uniform. And I came home with a dream
embedded in me, to be an Army officer.

There are dreams which won’t let you sleep and this one
entirely took it from me. The obsession had possessed me but it required
courage to leave a cushioned and well laid out life to the rigours of becoming
a soldier. I was doing my post graduation in computer application, working part-time
as a computer instructor, pursuing the DOEACC ‘A’ certification course and in
between sneaking out time for another passion of mine, dancing. Life was moving
on a perfectly designed schedule when I realized that this is not where I
belong to. My secret desire had transformed into my fixation after my exposure
to the army life in RD camp but somehow could not gather enough strength to
announce it to my folks at home. I had always made choices which were different
from others but this one surely was the biggest of them all. But I was not able
to give up on it and it started affecting my performance in the studies and
work, both. I secretly filled in the application for the Short Service
Commission for women officers but couldn’t keep it under wraps for a long time
as finally I had to go to face the SSB (Service Selection Board). Boys were
known to opt for the life of an Army man but for girls it still was a ‘hush
hush’ affair. This was a battle which I had to fight alone and when I broke the
news at home, surprisingly the response was quite unexpected. My father
believed that I will never be able to clear SSB and my aspiration will die its
own natural death as all the known boys from friends and family came back home
on the very first day of the board, not being able to clear even the screening.
A similar fate was expected for me but I stunned everybody by managing a clear
win the first day. There was inexplicable silence on the phone when I announced
that I will be staying for the interview, a little longer. And thereafter the
grilling session for the next few days which judged us on the various
psychological, analytical and behavioural aspects was a learning experience in
itself as it helped me to know myself in many unexplored ways. It sealed my
life forever, and by the end of it I was sure of my decision but the result was
yet to be out. On the result day, some hundred plus of us were seated in a hall
where the judgment was to be declared. I was shaking with nervousness and
counting all religious names. Four chest numbers were announced, my heart was
racing with supersonic speed, hoping for a miracle as what we heard that
generally four were selected in a batch and the mike creaked with one more
which was not mine. By this time I had edged on the brink of the chair and with
the last name shook my head. I didn’t have the courage to look around and see
the officers moving out after declaring the results and then I heard, “The last
one to make it in this batch is”. The number was announced but as if my ears
were numb and refused to hear when the officer repeated the number as no one
stood after the first calling out. The girl sitting ahead of me turned back and
shook my desk, “Hello, your number is being called, stand up”. “Yes” I shouted
and stood there confirming my details as the officer called them out one by
one. Tears rolled down my eyes and I stood there still in the most pleasant surprise ever. Six selections in one batch! I couldn't believe it. Some girls were crying because they had not made it but mine were tears of
happiness. My biggest dream had come true but even a bigger task at hand was to
break the news at home. I was selected but there were choices to be made which
would have lead me to different directions altogether and I did make one by opting
to don the olive greens and make it the colour of my life in the days to come.
I did choose to live my dream for next ten years which undoubtedly remain as the
best decade of my life.

Home front? Oh! That was even a bigger success as my
parents became so proud of me on clearing the SSB. No one from my family had
ever been able to do that and in fact there were men in junior ranks but beginning
of officer cadre was going to be marked by me. By the time I reached home, my
success story had been flaunted all over the clan. If you desire something deeply,
the universe conspires to make it happen. In my case, my family, my universe
came around to join me in my most glorified win.

Me with my parents on the day of commissioning. A proud moment indeed.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

The past one week has been quite exciting. Starting up this month with a wordless wednesday but hoping more blogging ahead. I invite your love for this post in form of priceless words. Give a name to this frame.