Study Finds Baltimore is a Top City to Ride Out a Zombie Apocalypse

Just in case the undead return tonight, we’re here to report that Baltimore is a fairly safe place to be in the event of a zombie apocalypse — compared to other cities, at least.

CareerBuilder compiled a ranking of how prepared cities are for the attack. Baltimore came in at number four, with only Salt Lake City, Kansas City and Boston ranked higher. Despite the horror move title, the ranking rates the fairly scientific standard of a city’s ability to protect an actual flesh-eating virus from spreading. Tragically, this is more relevant than anyone wants to know this year, given an Ocean City man’s recent death from flesh-eating bacteria and the warnings about the rise of the mutilating microbes as a result of global warming that followed.

In that case, it’s easy to see how Baltimore’s cutting-edge health institutions and proximity to defense redoubts would help out. Surprisingly, the area didn’t get very high marks for food supply, which we ranked pretty highly on in another list.

Still, preparedness (and perhaps a recitation of the Zombie Survival Guide) is recommended. As high as Baltimore ranks, a study released in 2014 found that Maryland is one of the most vulnerable states to a zombie attack. So we’ll have to deal with folks seeking safe haven.

Plus, there’s the matter of the colleagues who you thought would have your back, not eat it.

“The index will come in handy considering that, in a separate and equally practical CareerBuilder study, 36 percent of workers said, if they were a zombie, they would feast on their co-workers,” CareerBuilder writes.