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Words of the Day

January 27, 2012

Progesterone: a hormone which plummets in a woman’s fourth decade and may cause brief, intermittent bursts of psychotic behavior.

See also:

Children: Small screeching creatures who change settings on woman’s iPhone.

Husband: A man who “does dishes” by leaving large pots in the sink.

Dishes: Porcelain, plastic and glass items that magically appear only moments after they are put away.

Synonyms: Laundry

Antonyms: Freedom

Neighborhood Bank

1: Asbestos-riddenfinancial building whose workers look like they crawled out of a hole in the ground.

2: Institution whereby citizens hand over hard-earned money and are told they cannot retrieve it for several days. (Citizens apparently do this willingly. White-haired and/or balding men get rich from the interest.)