9.30.2009

Sunny Day Real Estate is back and with the original line-up. Last night they were on Fallon, and I was on cloud nine. Dare I say it, but this was probably one of the best things to come out of the 90's not named Christina Applegate.

9.29.2009

How insane is this? It's one thing to hear that they are making flats out of a stadium, something else entirely to see the finished product. The garden looks a little cluttered for a kickabout but I think that might be on purpose.

No? Not yet? Well here you go then. Chuck Culpepper of "Bloddy Confused"-fame caught up with The Boy King of New York & Jersey™ over a Trans-Atlantic telephone line and turned in a tale of imported BMW's, late-night Lakers games on TV and the American dream. If you have the time or don't feel like working, give it a read at LATimes.com.

More behind the scenes dopeness from U.S. Soccer. This time we get to see what it was really like down in TNT. I love how they get their clothes laid out for them before the game like it's the 1st day of school; very nice of the Fed to let all of their moms travel with the team.

9.25.2009

"Dude WTF? Mo Over There Wild'n." That is how our man FERENGI® put it in an email this afternoon and it seems like a fairly accurate description. It seems that the former TFCer has quickly become something of a Scots tabloid favorite despite seeing little of the field. Yes America, we truly have arrived on the world stage.

Then there is the "exclusive" in the Scots edition of News of the World. Check the headline below and tell me you don't want to read it just a little, itty-bitty, pocket-sized Ritchie Williams bit.

It's a pretty tawdry read but a lot of us are pretty tawdry people so get stuck into what might be the first printed tale of an alleged "get it & quit it" by an American Outsourced to Europe™. At this rate dude will be photographed falling out of a nightclub, accused of a training ground bust-up and sleeping over at Paris Hilton's place by Christmas. Well maybe not the last one because Paris Hilton isn't down with brown but watch out cuz Mo is heading big, big things.

Nicked from my brother from another mother, Kevin@FFSS, it's a fine visual interpretation of the undisputed champ of summer comedown records for 2009. Even if you're not feeling the Friday morning languid, autumnal vibe you must purchase A Life of Leisure today; you may not get it now but Sunday morning this will make soooo much sense.

The October issue of City Magazine, the official glossy mag of Hull City AFC, has a nice, semi-exclusive interview with Jozy Altidore that you should check out if you've got the time and inclination. I say semi-exclusive because they've given it over to TheOffside.com so it's not really as exclusive as they say it is. That's actually a good thing though since you can't really link to a magazine and otherwise we'd never get to read it then would we? So to recap that's New Media 3 - Old Media nil.

Remember a few years ago when "How Soccer Explains the World" came out and everyone thought Franklin Foer was the next Simon Kuper? For 8 minutes and 9 seconds you can relive those heady times once again courtesy of the CBC. Thanks Canada!

If there were ever to be an Academy Award for Best Dramatic Youtube Clip - Soccer Catergory this would have to be it's inaugural recipient. Obviously I didn't grow up with the club but as someone who had the honor and privilege of frequenting Craven Cottage when there were still terraces and Eddie Lewis was occupying the role of "Little-Used American" currently being played by Eddie Johnson, this really affected me. No matter where your club allegiances lie, this is powerful stuff; if you can make it through all 6 minutes without almost crying into your keyboard you are a robot. Or Jim Rome.

Never listen to your cousin Pookie when it comes to how to stack your paper. That combination carwash/hookah bar in Van Nuys that he wants you to invest in just isn't the best idea. In years past, Wu-Tang Financial would have been the go-to guys but their portfolio just isn't as attractive as it once was (Seen any Wu-Wear stores lately? Didn't think so.).

So in These Tough Economic Times™ who can you trust now to protect your financial neck? Landon Donovan and a coffee can under your matress.

If only I had enough time on my hands to do something this involved. Mind you I would do something else with the time but still it'd be nice to know that I had the option to create and destroy pitches, prisons and whatever else I saw fit all with the aid of small, plastic choking hazards.

I have had a long-standing love affair with many, but not all, things Australian for quite a bit. They're kind of like the Texans of the Commonwealth; in my experience they're generally a happy lot that possess something of a pioneer spirit, can run a mean ranch, they can BBQ and they've produced some of the finest specimens of the female form ever to grace God's creation. I am also still currently obsessed with all manner of Antipodean indie-disco from Cut Copy to Empire of the Sun to PNAU to Ladyhawke to that new rocker from Midnight Juggernauts.

But all of that good stuff falls to the side, when it comes to securing the bid for World Cup 2018. I know it's some cold sh*t, but when it comes to this issue we are not friends. And by the looks of the video above they feel the same way. So feel free to counter the negativity with some positivity and visit GoUSABid.com and sign the petition if you haven't already. And if you feel the need to do a little something more may I suggest a full-stop boycott of Outback Steakhouse.

"Beaten like a rented mule" is a phrase that I have never understood. Who rents mules? What sort of coverage do you need as a renter? Are beatings covered under the insurance and is that why some hard-hearted, criminal S.O.B. would feel OK with committing such a despicable act? These are all questions that I may never know the answer to.

I do know the answer to the question of whether or not Houston would bounce back in CONCACAF Champions League play after their loss to Pachuca last week. That answer is five resounding "yes"'s; one for each goal that put past a punch-less Panamanian side.

So here we find the former drummer for The Used --I know, I know but we all have a past-- just laid up at the Rio Tinto with RSL's keeper Nick Rimando. I'm sure they have a lot to talk about as keepers are like the drummers of a soccer team: they are all a little nuts, they spend their time on the job looking at the back of their co-workers and if they screw up it all falls apart for the rest of the side.

Should Charlie Sheen get the lead role in the never-to-be-released Mauricio Cienfuegos biopic? I don't know if he can actually play --and that really doesn't matter because there will be stunt doubles for that part-- but sweet, holy God in heaven has he got the look down pat.

9.21.2009

Julian Casablancas of The Stroke is putting out a solo record next month, partially because he can, partially because pretty much everyone else in that band has and partially because it's kinda good. The lead off track is the upbeat, Casio-rock joint "11th Dimension". Stream it below or at Myspace.

After the success of the Showdown in Chinatwon, Stevie Nash has decided to take the show(down) out west to Vancouver. Highlights and inteviews in the clip above, including an appearance by one of the best players ever to grace MLS, Youri Djorkaeff, in the 7th minute.

You may or may not hear from me today; the FIFA 10 demo hits today and I may very well spend every free minute that I am not occupied with Mr. Mom duties giving it a thorough test-drive. So while I may be deep in the gamehole today, be sure to check out my dude Andrew's gaming blog MMOMFG later today for a few of his early impressions.

The RBNY great remembers his time at Aston Villa and talks about his future in New York. He also names Thierry Henry first when asked who was the best player he went up against in the EPL; more fuel for the Henry-to-NYC speculation fire.

Janusz and some British man discussing the most recent exploits of the U.S. men's national team members and other Americans outsourced to Europe. Janusz mentions twice that he thinks that Deuce puts in his best performances for his club instead of his country. Hunh.

He also mentions Eddie Johnson. Remember him? We all thought he was going to be big, didn't we? Now it's like he's the soccer equivalent of the big local band from college that got signed by a label and although they never blew up, they still haven't broken up so every once in while you talk to some old friend who says, "dude, I saw that Dixie Witch are playing next weekend" and you go "damn, they're still around?!" and you laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh. It's just like that. Exactly like that.

I'm sure many of you are very excited for this week's CONCACAF Champions League matches. I know that I am particularly geeked about seeing how Columbus fares at Saprissa Stadium and I'm hoping that Houston's trip to Pachuca is as wild as their last. But those games aren't until tomorrow night --although D.C. United does paly tonight-- so what is there to do until then?

A good way to kill some time while you wait for those games it watch the UEFA Champions League matches today and tomorrow. Sure it's not nearly as glamorous and is seriously lacking in North American players but as I understand it many people here do actually enjoy watching this sort of thing. Check out ESPN's preview of what appears to the most entertaining match of the round.

9.14.2009

Something called World Business --which you could assume is like Forbes for foreigners--does their take on the always popular "Is soccer succeeding in America?"-piece. They never get tired of that one do they?

I'd like to address U.S.-based TOR readers for a moment if I could...everybody else go get a tall, decaf, skinny mocha-chino or something for a minute. Cool? OK.

Now (as I channel my inner Bernie Mac) listen to me America. I'm no financial expert and I don't claim to be. But if our nation's large and small businesses would "buy American, hire American" with the frequency that Mo Johnston is buying Canadian, hiring Canadian we could fix this whole economic freakshow that we are currently sack-deep in by MLS Cup weekend. That's not a recovery plan, that's just good sense.

It may have taken three long seasons of being mired in misery but Toronto FC has finally figured that out and now, for the first time I believe but correct me if I am wrong, has more Canadians than Americans on it's payroll. I can't say if the new, enhanced maple-flavour of TFC is strictly based on player ability or if it's Mo & co.'s land grab to secure as many native players as possible before Vancouver and --quite possibly Montreal's-- arrival into the league. It doesn't matter though; either way, it's just good sense.

I would like to see Landon and David as a tag team wrestling duo. No masks though, because they are too pretty for that and it would take away from the gate receipts (got to keep the ladies, and AEG --who would be the exclusive promoters for all of their bouts-- happy). They could each have signature moves though; Landon could cross himself before he jumps from the top rope and David could deliver a paralyzing free kick to the groin. As for arch enemies it would have to be Dema Kovalenko and Yura Movsissyan...those two reformed Soviets seem like they could both deliver and take a chair to the face.

An interview that can't happen is Greg Lalas talking with Gavin Rossdale over a scotch about the mixed blessing of having a close relation who is a bit more famous than you. Perhaps at the end of said conversation they would have boded over their shared place in life, become BFF's and agree to start a Slade-influenced metal band called Lesser Icons with Greg on drums, Gavino on guitar/vox and Jamar Beasley on bass.

Like I say, it just can't happen, but what did happen is our Greg chatting with the former Bush frontman/lucky S.O.B. who gets sire children with Gwen Stefani about music, family and his semi-secret semi-pro footballing past. It's a two-parter so don't blow your attention wad to early.

9.12.2009

If you frequent some of the more discerning party photo sites like Hi Fi Cartel, The Midnight Socialite and Last Night's Party you may on occasion see U-20/Foggia/former Metrostars academy product Gabriel Ferrari's mug in there scattered amongst those of the young, sexy and fashionable. I like it. I wish more domestic-based players were a staple on the late-night social scene a la classic Cletus. The photo above was snapped at the Major Lazer gig at S.O.B.'s a little while back; dude has damn good taste in music.

He's also got a damn good chance at making an impact in Seria A. ESPN's Ravi Ubha caught up with the striker-cum-DJ-cum-blogger and talked about his recent run of good form and good fortune (he's not injured or benched for once!). Read it, then make the prerequisite "Cap him now!" comment.

Here is my awful "posed with someone more well-known, thinner & taller than me" photo with The Rapture's Luke Jenner. I just got home from the semi-comeback gig at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ and I have a few beery things to say about it so please bear with me.

1. You CANNOT deny the power of a good cowbell/saxophone player. On the same stage that Clarence Clemons regularly rocked the same combo of instruments back in the day for The E Street Band, Gabriel Andruzzi held it down.

2. It's nice to see a band that I last saw playing a baseball stadium with Daft Punk go back and keep it kinda punk-rock and man the merch table themselves. At said table I got into a cypher with Vito the drummer about how unnecessary a major label is, New Jersey gentrification and, of course, a little footie. (Go New York, Go New York!)

3. Any concerns about their material not holding up after such a prolonged absence are without merit; as my dude Kevin from Faux Fur and Soccer Shirts said, if you can move a room full of jaded indie fans with material that is 3 years old (which is something like 47 blog years) your sh*t is tight.

4. I now get why people drink Budweiser; it's cheap and you can drink that stuff for days without actually feeling like you actually have been drinking beer for days.

5. If you were curious about what the bass-playing situation would be like in the post-Matty Safer era you will be happy to know that Harris Klahr from Q And Not U is more than competent on bass/keys/background vocals duty. He also looks a lot like Rob Corddry these days.

6. As feared, the post-Matty Safer era set list obviously does not include "Sister Savior".

7. Stopping by the positively rammed Nicole Atkins gig at the Kill Brand store afterward was soooo not a good idea. She was already done, and there were way too many people in a small space. Sometimes you have to know when to call it a night...which is exactly what I am going to do right now.

9.11.2009

What or where is this Casino Rama Grill Room? Is it a gambling establishment? A steakhouse? Whatever it is, good on them for getting interviews with Trader Mo and Dan Dichio this week. Will the circle be completed with a JDG interview next? Who knows but if it is, I'll try to dig it up for you.

9.10.2009

I'm a 33 year-old, meat-eating, whiskey-drinking, video game-playing, soccer-loving, heterosexual, American male. This speaks to me. It also speaks to Wayne Rooney, Ronaldinho, and random foreign children apparently. I love this because it is nice to know that no matter what our differences we can all rally around our common love of talking sh*t to our homeboy on the couch after we just skinned him in the 18 for the game-winner.

Six months on, I'm still stuck on "The Reeling". PP are really having a moment right now what with being on every late-night chat show available, two upcoming gigs at Central Park with this summer's other "it-band" Phoenix, and the fact that every time I DJ there is a seemingly endless parade of cute young indie chicks asking me to drop "Sleepyhead".

But I never play "Sleepyhead" as I find the shrieking vocals to be the least sexiest sound this side of Lonnie The Voice-Crack Guy from the Galaxy games, you know the one that was in that movie a while back.

So I stick with "The Reeling" and all of it's associated remixes (although I do mess with "Swimming in the Flood from time to time) because to put it in simple terms that any music fan understand, "it's my sh*t". The clip above is from the excellent Juan's Basement on P4K. If you've never been there you should visit.

9.09.2009

Actually he does and talks about the big, bald, baller's Toronto past, present and future in something called the Casino Rama Grill Room. If you can handle a double-scoop of jawing gingers, drink it in Toronto fans...drink it in.

Them Yankee boys aren't sleeping on the Soca Warriors and you shouldn't either. We'll find out in a little over an hour's time but I'm not thinking this is going to be as easy of a walk as it was when these two met in Nashvegas a 'lil while back. Buckle up boys and girls, it's carnival time.

You like that? TOR reader/masochist Aaron Rutsay knocked this out a while back for us and I think it would look great on a t-shirt, car bumper, banner or subway car. Feel free to download a large size of this image and spread the matchday Howard Power as you see fit.

How do you like the new Wynalda-packed Fox Football Fone-In? Nice to see King Vulgar back on the airwaves, escpecially with Temryss Lane in tow. And is it jus me or are there a shocking amount of children calling in to this show?

A few weeks ago we discussed Editors and there newly-acquired penchant for New Order-esque electronic noodling. The jury seemed to be split on whether their new direction is awesome or appalling and I'll expect nothing but the same after you hear Muse's latest which is very reminiscent of Strangelove-era Depeche Mode. Add these two to Kanye's unlikely position as the new Pet Shop Boys and the stage is set for someone to come along and complete the circle by rehashing the dancefloor brutalism of Nitzer Ebb any day now.

On Sept. 20th PBS will air a new documentary entitled "The Golden Age of Soccer". I think it's about a bunch of geriatrics who despite their advanced age still get up for the game. And I'm not talking Claudio Saurez old, but "I remember when the balls had laces-old". Soccer Insider mentioned it the other day but I thought I'd share the trailer with you all. Set your DVR's accordingly.

9.07.2009

Pedro Gomez is like a barometer of human size. He looks normal-sized when stood next to Jozy Altidore --who is actually a pretty big dude-- but when placed in a shot with Landon Donovan he looks like a giant, Cuban Jay Leno. Call me simple but I find it fascinating and think that going forward all U.S. soccer players should have their height listed as relative to Pedro Gomez on their official bios.

I think this might be my favorite but that's probably just the inner narcissist in me trying to claw it's way out.I could see CR7 doing this...Lord knows his Paris Hilton boning-ass has had enough practice.

We all know you get a yellow card for taking your shirt off but what's the rule on freeing your feet? Is there a precedent? And since there are two shoes do you get two cards? Is this something for foot fetishist-only or is should children be encouraged to do it as well?

Oh to be physically fit. I've eaten so much pulled pork this summer that I wouldn't be able to do more than one of this drills before having to sit down. Some sad sh*t y'all. Maybe I should join my wife on her current veganism kick?

Everyone --even Gossip Girl!-- knows that if you bone Cristiano Ronaldo you will be forever stalked like a gazelle on the savannah. She also knows that you may also receive and all expense-paid trip to the free-clinic. But the big questions is what happens if you hook up with Christian Gomez? Can you at least get a three episode arc on The Real World: D.C.? Inquiring minds want to know.

Suggested song titles for the upcoming KA and Mech Boy album, the most hotly-anticipated hip hop record since Bizarre for D12's Hanni Cap Circus. It's not due to drop until 1.31.10 (because the streets can wait for this one) but I thought I'd get an early start in lending my keen music business acumen to the project. So without further adieu...

See, here's the thing with being dirty. If you are going to try to get away with something you shouldn't --armed robbery, sexual congress with Paris Hilton, booting a Colombian in the chest, whatever your nefarious act of choice is-- you have to keep in mind that in the digital age there are cameras everywhere and that someone is going to see you do it.

In this case it's a broadcast camera, but it could just have easily have been a 14-year old girl's custom Hello Kitty iPhone. Point is if you insist on being a thug --to both your teammatesand opponents-- you need to realize that you are often going to get caught.

But getting caught kinda puts a downer on the whole thing so you might try using some of that spray that makes things invisible to cameras but from what I gather it only works on license plates. Or even better you might keep it simple and just not behave in a manner that is consistent with being a tool. The choice is yours but it's just something to think about before your next inappropriate act ends up getting duped 1000 times and ended up on cable somewhere*.*If get this reference you are old.

I'm not exactly sure how interested anyone is in this but Panasonic are outfitting Red Bull Arena with all of it's video screens and TV's. That's cool. I like to to watch TV and go to soccer games so why not do both at the same time?

Perhaps Panasonic would like to become The Official Technology Partner of SF's House? While I won't ever have 25,000 people over to watch a game, I can ensure that the maybe 8 people that will come over to watch a game will be top-shelf, highly-influential sonsofbitches (I try to keep the living room kinda exclusive, ya know). Can I get a hookup?

9.01.2009

Can you believe it's time to talk playoffs already? Seems like only yesterday we were talking Superliga, friendlies and other mid-season distractions. Now we're nearing the finish line and it's kinda awesome, kinda weird and kinda sad...sort of like some of those things you see at a Tijuana bachelor party.

Everybody thought I was high, tasteless disco-trash last year when I started going on and on about Empire of the Sun. Now Jay-Z is tapping vocalist Luke Steele for the opening track for his new album. It's a strange day when the only person who will listen to me is Jay Z; this is easily my favorite track from him since "Excuse Me".