Trying to pick up the pieces without falling flat on my face (or ass - whichever) into a pile of...

Friday, August 18, 2006

Zoning Out Through Headphones

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that headphones are heaven sent. They provide sound for listening to music, etc. in the privacy of your own ears, but they also provide a wall between you and others around you. Now you’re thinking: Is that a good thing? Or are you implying that’s a bad thing?

For me, it’s a good thing.

More times than most, I like to keep to myself when I’m in public without someone I know being with me. I have had far too many experiences with strangers coming up to me and trying to start a conversation; including the time where, out of my own pure stupidity and mistakes, managed to meet my future (and currently ex-) stalker (yeah, we won’t get into that).

I have found that by wearing headphones, people tend to leave you alone. Sure, most of you probably have realized this by now; it’s not that hard to understand that yes, with headphones on, people will leave you alone. Unfortunately, there are some people out there that don’t follow this.

Allow me to let you in on a secret: Sometimes, I wear my headphones (plugged into my Ipod… not just headphones alone, ‘cause like, what the hell, eh?) and I’m not listening to any music. I will stick those earpieces in just so it looks like I’m listening to music and hoping that I’m not making it too obvious that I just want to ignore weirdos. This system, however, has backfired on me numerous times.

The latest failure involves a co-worker. Sure she’s nice and friendly and all that jazz, but personally, I find her obnoxious. She’s one of those people that when I see walking up to me, I start to develop a twitch in my eye and I hope that a vehicle will suddenly strike me. Not completely serious, but you get the idea.

In the mornings, we usually end up taking the same train to work. I avoid eye contact and make myself look occupied by “listening” to music or pretend that I am taking a short nap on the train (yes, completely serious).

You know what? This always fails. She always tries to make her presence known by waving her hand right in front of my face or if I’m “napping” she will flop her damn ass right beside me and sits so close that her friggin’ body is practically caressing mine.

You just don’t do that. I cannot stress that enough.

This morning was no different; except for one thing…

I was listening to music. I felt the need to be serenaded by Justin Timberlake. As I’m in a half daze, imagining that Justin will have me nekkid by the end of the song (mmmmmm), I was rudely brought back to reality when she decided to stand in front of me and start talking to me, WHILE I STILL HAD HEADPHONES ON.

It took what little inner strength I had to not say: I’m sorry, but do you see these? (hold up headphones) When these are in place, DO NOT, FOR THE LOVE OF JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, INTERRUPT MY WILD FANTASY.