A good
understanding of a country may help you to make the most of
your trip by giving you an insight into the minds of the nationals.
That is the purpose of this series.

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Stereotypes. Few nations
have so many inaccurate stereotypes to contend with. Scots have a reputation
for being dour, which will surprise anybody who spends enough time here.
Scots can be quiet amongst people they don’t know well, but will
warm up after a few drinks, or once they get to know you. (The latter
option is the slowest way.) We’ll get back to the prominent place
alcohol plays in society later. There is a myth about Scots being misers,
but it is just that, a myth. Most Scots are generous to a fault. The
accusation that Scots lack a sense of humour is also wide of the mark.
Hollywood has presented us as being variously: proud warriors, down-to-earth
simpletons or people who live in castles. If you want a better insight
into the Scots character avoid Braveheart, and rent Gregory’s
Girl instead.

Language. A broad Scots
accent, when spoken at full pelt, can be difficult for an outsider to
understand. Most people will be kind enough to anglicize their diction
when speaking. There are Scots terms and phrases that will baffle the
uninitiated, but just ask what we mean. People are happy to explain
themselves and we take a certain pride in having our own vernacular.
Unlike the Irish, very few people speak Gaelic anymore. The main exception
is on the Western Isles where it remains people’s first language
and only grudgingly will they speak English. There are a few mainlanders
trying to revive it, but they tend to be the kind of people who knit
their own clothes.

National Pride. Contrary
to popular belief, most Scots don’t hate the English, though winding
them up is something of a national pastime. There is a complicated relationship
between the Scots and their homeland. We are quick to criticise, but
even quicker to take offence if an outsider makes disparaging comments.
Scots who move away are expected to maintain a polite respect for their
country. We don’t take kindly to exiles passing judgement on Scotland;
that right is reserved for those of us left behind. We can be a sentimental
bunch, especially after a few drinks, but nobody, not even an Englishman,
makes fun of the tartan Brigadoon-style nonsense more than we do ourselves.

Politics. Devolution
has given Scotland its own parliament in Edinburgh and the ability to
manage most of its own affairs - although they are unlikely to force
independence on the country. The general feeling is that the present
system is working fine and the majority of Scots favour staying within
the Union. It would be counter-productive for the Scottish National
Party (SNP) to push the issue, despite their belief that Scotland should
be independent. A greater threat to the Union may be the arrival of
a Tory Government in Westminster. Many Scots still bear a grudge from
the last time they ruled over us and have no desire to see them in power
again.

Alcohol.Scotland has
a huge drinking culture. Few social occasions pass without it. There
is however growing concern over alcohol-related problems such as anti-social
behaviour and adverse effects on health. Although Scotland is world-famous
for producing whisky, it tends to be regarded as an old man’s
drink. For younger people, Vodka is the spirit of choice, probably because
you can put coke in it and the barman won’t look at you like you
kicked his dog in the face. However Whisky exports are a major contributor
to the economy and most distilleries cater for visitors with guided
tours.

Religion. A recent census
poll estimated that almost a quarter of the population are secular.
Vying for the rest of our souls are various forms of Protestant Calvinism.
The Kirk (Church of Scotland) has the largest share, while there is
also a strong Catholic presence in the Central part of Scotland and
in Glasgow. Visitors to Scotland may be surprised to find that many
former churches have been refurbished and re-opened as public houses
or nightclubs.

Sport. For some, football
belongs in the religion category and not simply because of the passion
shown by fans. Rangers traditionally represent the Protestant faith,
while Celtic were formed by Irish Catholics. Relations between the two
are hostile. There are actually enough teams in Scotland to form a Premier
League, but from reading the National and UK press, you would think
there are just the two of them. Scottish football is under-funded and
over-priced with matches costing at least £20 a ticket, far too
much for what is on offer. Rugby is popular too, though mostly amongst
the middle-classes. Shinty is the main sport in the Highlands. Essentially
it is a version of the Irish game Hurley, though it looks like a bunch
of big tough men playing hockey. For the rich there are country sports,
mostly involving shooting animals. Fish stocks are low in Scottish rivers
so most of what is caught has to go back in the water. Scotland has
so many golf courses that eventually it is quite possible the entire
country will become one giant course and all the people will be land-stripped
and shipped overseas.

Food. Scotland has notoriously
high levels of heart disease. Health experts have been playing mum in
recent years by encouraging us to eat fruit and stuff. Things are improving.
There is plenty of fresh produce available for those who want it, so
there is no need to bring your own vegetables if you come and visit.
Scotland is perfect for lovers of seafood, being so small that no part
of the country is too far away from a day’s catch. Haggis is an
acquired taste, as anything traditionally made with sheep’s offal
would be. It is worth trying, though, and the easiest way is from a
chip shop where it will be served in batter. Some chippers also serve
deep fried Mars bars, jokingly considered a Scottish delicacy. Scotland’s
other national drink apart from Whisky is Irn Bru, a dark orangey soft-drink
that is very sweet. Hugely popular amongst Scots, it is the only soft-drink
in the world that can outsell Coke in any domestic market.

Weather. Changeable.
It can be bright and sunny one moment, then pouring with rain the next.
Winter can be harsh. If you fancy going hill-walking do please wear
the right gear. Ill-equipped climbers who get in trouble will be rescued
but shown little sympathy if they are found to have tried to climb a
mountain wearing a pair of trainers and a T-shirt.

National Dress. Although
the kilt may look like a skirt, it’s not one. That may be the
most important lesson you will ever learn about the Scots, so write
it down. It’s traditional for the wearer of the kilt to go commando,
so if you lift one up don’t say you weren’t warned. It is
primarily worn for weddings or other social occasions such as Highland
Gatherings. A more casual version of the outfit is worn by football
and rugby fans for international matches, with the fancy apparel such
as waistcoats are left at home in favour of Scotland shirts.

Homecoming. The SNP are
behind an initiative to celebrate all that Scotland has given the world;
inventing television, the steam engine, curing syphilis with penicillin,
and Grand Theft Auto. There is also a TV advertisement intended to inspire
exiles (presumably rich ones) to return home, with various celebrities
including Sean Connery singing a sentimental song called ‘Caledonia.’
Bizarrely, it’s only airing in Scotland, thus completely defeating
the point.

One last word of warning after this insight — be careful
of the stereotypes! Whilst you can always draw a thread of similarity
between the nationals of a country, the extent and size of that thread
may vary widely!

The Playgroup

Janey Fraser

With an opportunity to prove herself, Gemma can't wait to take over Puddleducks Playgroup. But the new head of the infant school, Joe Balls, soon tempers her enjoyment. Meanwhile, Nancy is in turmoil. Her only son has just started at the playgroup and her husband has taken a temporary posting to Vietnam. There never was much hope of conceiving her much-wanted second child so what is she to do now? A tumultuous term lies ahead for all.

Dead Men

Richard Pierce

Birdie Bowers, an infamously secretive painter, is a woman given a dead manís name by her obsessed parents. Her namesake was one of Scottís companions on his fated expedition to the Antarctic. Almost a hundred years after his death, she is determined to discover what really happened to him accompanied by Adam, a bored computer geek, who falls in love with her. But Scottís tent is now under 30 metres of ice.

Revival

Stephen King

A dark and electrifying novel about addiction, fanaticism, and what might exist on the other side of life. It spans five decades on its way to the most terrifying conclusion Stephen King has ever written. Itís a masterpiece from King, in the great American tradition of Frank Norris, Nathaniel Hawthorne, and Edgar Allan Poe.

The kite Runner

Khaled Hosseini

In his debut novel, The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini accomplishes what very few contemporary novelists are able to do: provide an educational and eye-opening account of a country's political turmoil - Afghanistan - while also developing characters whose heartbreaking struggles and emotional triumphs resonate with the reader.