Meatball Defense Deemed Bologna

An NYPD counterterrorism detective has been fired for a failed drug test that he blamed on—get this—his wife’s meatballs. Anthony Chiofalo, a 22-year police veteran, was suspended without pay in 2005 after failing a random drug test. Chiofalo insisted throughout the investigation that he had never voluntarily used drugs and told supervisors that his wife had [served him marijuana-tainted meatballs without his knowledge]. And while the recent slew of [“I didn’t do it”](http://blackandright.mensnewsdaily.com/2007/08/24/vick-i-didnt-do-it-but-i-watched/) and [“It’s not mine”](http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1565505/20070725/lohan_lindsay.jhtml) defenses from celebs has made us skeptical of such claims, Chiofalo’s wife admitted to investigators that she had secretly swapped oregano with marijuana in her meatball recipe in hopes of getting her husband to leave the police force. Now, we probably would have gone with cookies or brownies, but you have to admit, that’s a pretty good ploy. Chiofalo’s brother and two of his partners died on 9/11, and his wife said that [she feared for her husband’s life](http://www.nypost.com/seven/08232007/news/regionalnews/commish_fires_meatball_marijua.htm).

An administrative judge in the department had previously recommended that Chiofalo be reinstated after his wife passed a lie detector test defending the story. Unfortunately for the detective, Police Commissioner Ray Kelly, who has the final say, decided the meatball claims “simply weren’t credible” and fired him anyways. Chiofalo still has the option of suing the NYPD in civil court to try to get his job back. Regardless, we bet he’s cooking his own meals these days.