A few words on fear

I’ve been noticing how when I get wound up about something, that there is this sense of“not going to make it.” I’m not sure if that makes sense, but it’s how I feel. As I’ve explored the feeling (which is showing up in a lot of deifferent ways these days), I’ve noticed that it’s root is scarcity.

Yet, the root grows deeper. Perhaps this isn’t news to anyone else but me, but I’m seeing how much fear drives scarcity, how it precedes it. What is the fear? Where does it come from? Hell, is it even mine? I don’t know the answers to any of these (though I’m sure I could concoct some).

Here’s the thing: I don’t think it matters. I think that it’s here, and it’s driven so much of my life. It’s caused me to do some things, and prevented me from doing others. I think it’s had its hand on the wheel for a long time. I think courage is acting despite fear, not without it.

Like I said, this may be the most obvious thing to the rest of you, but it’s landing on me pretty heavy.