Scary Sales Stories for the Campfire

The sales guy who was spotted asleep at the wheel of his car outside a major customer (missing his appointment) with a copy of Covey’s 7 Habits shielding his face from the sun.

The sales guy who couldn’t be bothered to attend the Power of Positive Thinking course.

The sales guy who always wondered what autodidactic means?

The sales manager who surprised his team with a (and we’re quoting) ‘fantastic motivational bonus’ in this month’s pay packet.

A sales director telling her manager to be more consultative.

A CEO stating women make great salespeople because they can ‘use special techniques with male buyers’.

Two salespeople from different divisions of the same company turning up to see the same customer in ignorance of the others plans? Their meeting in reception that descended into a public row has become a talking point with their customer’s procurement team.

A director saying they wouldn’t be taking a pay rise, getting lots of plaudits, and then quietly and confidentially accepting one when group mandated it should be taken.

A very bright person attending a workshop on taking ownership for contributing to sales change and saying (without irony) when leaving the programme, ‘A good day, but we’ll see what happens’.

A large number of sales organisations paying a single bonus for achieving the budgeted numbers and wondering why salespeople don’t ‘punch through’ them and go after even higher numbers.

A sales manager going customer visiting with a team member, and asking to be picked up at the airport at 10:30 and needing to be back for their flight at 15:30. Their quarter’s performance improvement theme was, you guessed it, productivity.