Tukatiane

There Is An Epidemic Of Possessive Men

They are everywhere, men who behave like secret service agents or gun-totting bodyguards of a Mafioso don. They guard their girlfriends so much you would think there is an incoming missile threat from Pyongyang or a sniper positioned somewhere, ready to take out bae. I see guys like this everyday and all that time I am thinking, “Calm down dude, she is not even that pretty. No one is trying to steal her from you.” Scratch that!! Actually, despite how ugly your chick is, there is always a thirsty and determined cocksassin somewhere ready to fire several rounds of cummunition into your girl’s punani. However, being possessive and protective doesn’t prevent foreign cocks from invading. Instead, it will only hasten the process

The Secret Service agent…you know the type. He treats his chick like she’s a head of state. He is the insecure guy trying hard to let the world know that this is his girl, and you better not get any fishy ideas. He is essentially signaling to potential male competitors that his chick was so ostentatiously wooed by him she will never entertain the thought of cheating with another man, so don’t bother. He’s the guy who will, at the most awkwardly inopportune times, sidle up to his girl and lay gentle romantic pats on her like a puppy pawing at its owner for food. Maybe he’ll wrap his arm around her while she’s talking to you, and nuzzle her neck. The worst of the sidlers will call her “beb” loudly or try to reach for her hand and hold it, intertwining fingers. Not to forget the numerous pictures of him and her that he posts on social media. Basically he’s shouting to the world, “Look here people, this is my bae. We are so happy together! She loves me…okay?.

Whenever his girl returns from somewhere, he’ll grill her about her whereabouts. He’ll want to know every detail, just to make sure she wasn’t hanging out with another guy. If he’s able to, he’ll monitor all her movements as well. When she’s away, he’ll keep grilling her to know where she is, what she’s doing and who she is doing it with. And every time the girl talks to a male friend, a week-long argument is triggered.

Unsurprisingly, possessive behavior is rarely a turn-on for the chick at the receiving end of it. A girl of course doesn’t like hearing that her man is a slave to her heart who would die an incel if she ever left him, so this leetle poke and prod of her hamster will ripen her to consider the very infidelity her guy tries so hard to thwart

As expected, it’s the weak, desperate and inexperienced men that tend to be chronic mate guarders. Strong-minded experienced guys are rarely possessive because they don’t fear their chicks cheating on them or falling under the spell of other men, and, less benignly, they redirect some of their relationship energy that would normally be spent on mate guarding toward being better lovers.

Weak males, whether consciously or not, sense more keenly the sexual interloper threat posed by other men and the wandering eyes of their own women. They feel that a girl is God’s blessing to them hence they do all kinds of desperate things to keep her. But they tend to get played a lot.

Men who don’t follow their women around are the ones who never get cheated on. The possessive guy is the type of guy that will call his girl when another man is on top of her. He will ask her where she is and tell her how much he misses her. The she will lie that she is with her BFFs and he’ll believe it. And after the call ends, the girl will laugh out loud with her partner-in-thrust as she resumes the loud moaning that had been interrupted by the annoying call.

While possessiveness may offer some temporary or discrete relationship security, multiple acts of mate guarding will paradoxically increase longer term relationship fragility. When a man shows signs of possessiveness and jealousy, his girlfriend will proclaim in the moment her ego-stroked thrill at his display of jealousy, but over time the accretion of those displays will erode her charitable judgment of his mate value. This is why women are viscerally disgusted by the thought of overly “possessive” boyfriends. When you are possessive, you appear as a low value male who is unable to get another girl easily. That’s right. You can’t get another girl easily, that’s why you are guarding her so much. No woman wants to think she’s hitched to a lower value man, just as no man wants to think he’s with a woman uglier than he can be expected to get.

It’s therefore in your best interest to avoid the trap of possessiveness. The temporary happy ego boost it might give your woman is not worth the long-term erosion in your mate status. If you doubt this, try to visualize scenarios of men in the act of possessiveness. Recall the men who you witnessed being protective over their women. Does “strong male” spring to mind? Or do you feel something closer to pity for those men?

The seduction insight here should be clear: don’t mate guard. Or, more precisely, don’t transparently mate guard. If you mate guard, you signal your betatude. The more diligently you mate guard, the more your girl will perceive you as having few mate options other than herself, and her labia will wither like rose petals in Mandera drought. Because chicks dig dudes with options.

Personally, I can never be possessive over a girl. She doesn’t belong to me. She belongs to her mama and papa. There are more important things that I can protect with my heart and soul. One of them is my laptop because without it, I cannot write these amazing articles.

Real men, rarely feel the need to possessive. Instead it’s their women who feel the need to be possessive. The alpha apex for a man is reached when a woman is so smitten with him that the thought of cheating never even crosses her mind and in fact she spends most of her idle cognition devising ploys to keep other women away from him.

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Tukatiane is a 'Relationships and Sex' website run by award winning Kenyan writer Philip Etemesi. His goal is to help everyone have excellent relationships as well as healthy sex lives. Other goals are to provide entertainment to readers through witty and edgy stories.
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