Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer?

A: Take your foot off his head.

Q: What does a lawyer and sperm have in common?

A: Only one in 3 million has a chance at becoming a human being.

T

Danville PA

Username hidden
(3235 posts)

User Details are only visible to members.

Know the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder....and the other is a fish. {Sorry, y'all, HAD to!}

Mcallen TX

Username hidden
(10753 posts)

User Details are only visible to members.

Despite the recent publicity around shark sightings and the high potential for attacks in the seas off Cape Cod, the free afternoon of a professional gathering of attorneys found most of them happily swimming at the otherwise deserted beaches.

When interviewed by the local TV news team, a couple of the attorneys explained why they were unafraid to swim among the great whites: "professional courtesy".

Atlanta GA

Username hidden
(442 posts)

User Details are only visible to members.

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car comes along and hits the door.

When the police arrive at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeemer!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!", retorted the cop. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"

"Oh no!", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was.

"Where's my Rolex???!!!"

Pittsburgh PA

Username hidden
(2789 posts)

User Details are only visible to members.

What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities.

Philadelphia PA

Username hidden
(2317 posts)

User Details are only visible to members.

"What do you call a bus full of lawyers going off a cliff and there are two empty seats"