News:

All you can say in this site's defence is that it, rather than reality, occupies the warped minds of some of the planet's most twisted people; gods know what they would get up to if it wasn't here. In these arguably insane times, any lessening or attenuation of madness is maybe something to be thankful for.

FACT: oil is not a carbon byproduct of ancient fossils, it's a carbon byproduct of ancient deposits of Roger's body hair. He's immortal, but every once in a while, he loses a bet. Roger is solely responsible for global warming, but not in the way you're thinking; it has nothing whatsoever to do with Vindaloo, and everything to do with last time he lost a bet and had to shave his back. Uncertain of how to handle the massive biohazard threat posed by the trimmings, the DOT lit them on fire in a fiasco reminiscent of Oregon's exploding whale but on a monumental scale, effectively tripling global carbon emissions and sending the planet spiraling into ecological disaster.

The only reason he hasn't done it again is because he enjoys the alternate explanations the White House comes up with. The only reason the White House comes up with alternate explanations is because he's kept every administration since Herbert Hoover in cringing obsequiousness to his every whim with the judicial application of mind-lazors.

Logged

“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“All that goodness, with a frozen chicken in the middle.”― Doktor Howl, 2014

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

"Get offa me, you freaks! This is not North Korea. No. This is America, and I expect to be PAID for that sort of nonsense. In advance. No credit...Cash on the barrelhead or GTFO. I swear to God, there's nothing more annoying than commie perverts who don't understand the intrinsic value of the free market system."

Roger has never done anything wrong, and I'm still not too sure who this Nigel is everyone is on about.

But Cain...That motherfucker is the worst thing the internet has done to me. The one who talked me into joining Facebook, thus starting a chain reaction of events that ruined what was left of my mind.The guy that can't help but illuminate every international story of horror, robbing me of sleep and sanity. That motherfucker is so sneaky that not even our apparent new resident tyrant bloodhound can notice his evil.Fuck Cain.

Oh wait, I think once Roger used a sarcastic straw man argument in a disagreement we were having. I found that to be distasteful. I knew there had to be something.