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My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

My story

My name is Craig, I am 21 and I live in the UK.

I knew I was different when I was about 13-14, I looked at guys at school rather than looking at girls like all my other friends but I just suppressed them thoughts and carried on with my life. when I was 16 I decided to try and get a girlfriend and try to act on the most accepted way of life.. being "straight" I did get a girlfriend and I while being with her it was all fun and stuff but 2 years into the relationship... nothing was happening in anyway, as in sexually we hugged and held hands but it just felt so strange and not right for me. One day i tried to french kiss her... we did but it just wasn't right, I felt really uncomfortable like I knew this was not me and since then I knew it was because I was really just gay.
once we all left school I basically broke up with my girlfriend due to me obviously being gay and accepting myself for it but I just never saw her and it was more like a friendship due to us never interacting sexually.. so we split up...
then I was in and out of jobs
cleaner
toy shop sales assistant...
I just wasn't enjoying my life
I knew I was gay and I didn't tell anyone, all I had was the internet to talk to about it I became very depressed as I was thinking my family and friends would neglect me for me being gay...
the worst thing of what I thought would happen was if my parents rejected me. I don't think I could have lived on if my parents rejected me for who I am
eventually an employment agency helped me get a good solid job

I became a Auxiliary Nurse (yes I know cliche.. gay nurse.....)
but it is a perfect job for me I get to meet all typed of people and everyone is accepted because, well you have to be
I then met a agency nurse on one shift and found out he is gay
our convocation basically turned to gays and stuff and I basically told him I am gay... and that was the first time I ever told anyone my deep dark secret...

some time after I downloaded some gay apps on the iphone
grindr
growlr

you know the type lol
and I met my first bf on there and our first couple of times meeting it was all a secret, my parents just thought I was meeting a friend from work
when i actuality I was experimenting with a guy far away lol

soon I had to come out because I just couldn't keep lying to my parents where I was

So I wrote a coming out letter... and kept it in my room in a box

and about a month later I got home from work and just gave the letter to my mom
as soon as I gave the letter to her I started crying
like I could feel the secret coming out of my eyes (strange I know)

my mom started crying and she basically accepted me for who I am
my mom told my dad and on the night my dad was crying talking about grandchildren and that's all he really said
but they both accept me now as the big shock has gone
then the entire family found out and they all sent me really supportive text messages and it made me really glad

then they got to meet my bf
and all that happened really nicely they accepted him and everything was going smoothly
until he broke up with me... saying he wasn't ready for a relationship...
me knowing how hard it was for me to get a bf (knowing about the gay scene and stepping into it) I begged him to take me back (stupid I know)
about a week latter he did... we got back together and met a few times but he broke my heart again (no surprise) we broke up again..
we stayed in touch through text
then I was basically back on the market again lol

I started coming out to my friends and work friends and they were all really supportive.

I then started a new profile on grindr and growlr
and started speaking to more guys, only most on there are just pic swapping whores to be honest...
I met one guy on there (just met him the once I can't even remember his name now)
but once we met in person he was just too in my face with the "gay" label the voice and the mannerisms, all queen like... nothing wrong with people like that.. just not my type.
so that didn't go anywhere lol

then litteraly about a week later I got talking to a guy called Glen
his growlr name was "deaf guy"
at the time i thought is he joking is he really deaf???
so I just talked to him and talked and talked and talked
I found out he really is deaf and we just clicked
I spoke to my ex about him and my ex just put a downer on everything...

"he's deaf you realise how hard it will be with him"

things like that
I just thought no I will try and see where this goes

so first day I spoke to glen Feb 14th 2013
I went to meet him the very next day lol

we were both really nervous
I was just so nervous because I just started speaking to this guy yesterday lol
and I was thinking how will we communicate if things get further?

we went to a cafe
and we spoke to each other by writing on paper (I kept the paper)

now it's 6 months later and me and glen are still together
he has been teaching me BSL (British Sign language)

and the only time communication has been via paper is the first time we met
since then it has either been via phone of BSL or he lip reads

He has become very close with my parents and he become part of the family
I am very happy that I have come out as I can now be myself with the people I love

I feel like I will be with glen for a very long time as we are becoming closer and closer

I am really happy with my life right now.

Sorry for the long post guys

if you actually read this far, THANK YOU

if you have any questions about my life or my deaf bf or anything just ask

Re: My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

Great! I have a deaf friend from university in a long term relationship, and another long-lost deaf acquaintance who dated someone else I know. I guess the message is, attraction is attraction. We adapt to the people we care about.

Re: My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

Great! Thanks for posting your message, and no problem at all its long. Its good to see that you are right now living a happy and a relaxed life since you have decided to live a life of an open gay. I don't have experiences with deaf friends, but it seems to me that both of you are very happy with each other. Great man, that you have found such a nice boyfriend.

Your message is a very good one for other guys who are still closeted, as it shows that things have improved quite alot since you have told the truth about yourself.

Re: My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

Thank you for sharing you story and so much of your life. With the big secret out of the way you learned that you began to have the energy for self-development, authentic friendships and familial relationships, a solid romantic relationship and enhanced self-esteem. It's quite a beautiful story and ought to provide others a lot of hope. Cheers!

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

Re: My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

Love and romance know no bounds. Where there is attractions and care, communication is a minor thing. There are myriads of ways to communicate. The experiences you and Glen will have will help each of you to grow. As you have stated, you are learning BSL and with the modern technology of texting it gives each of you the opportunity of verbal communication. But don't forget a light touch, a smile, a tender kiss...this can be a much greater communicator. It is pleasing to read that you and Glen have found this together. My best wishes for you both.

Re: My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

When I was a freshman in high school, I was the youngest person in all of my classes, but there was also a transfer student that was deaf. I knew then that it was my mission to learn ASL (American Sign Language) and befriend him. I also took Spanish and French, but amazingly enough, I remember more ASL than the other two combined.

I LOVE interrupting a sign language conversation and introducing myself! Language, like any other muscle - USE IT or LOSE IT! Any who, it was/is fun, and like any other language, there is always slang and shortening. I just need to meet Luke Adams from "The Amazing Race" and marry him!

Re: My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

Congratulations to both you and Glen, Craig. It will soon be your first year anniversary and moving in together will be an added pleasure.
Your story shows that there are no odds that cannot be overcome. Keep us posted.

Re: My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

We are still together and it has almost been 1 year (april 7th) since we started dating

on the 29th of march we both decided to celebrate mothers day by having both our mothers meet both of us for a meal only it was the first time our mothers met and they didn't know they were going to meet lol

Re: My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

What a great article! You two have given up some privacy and become role models for others. Not only for gay/hearing relationships, but for any young couple that want to start life together. Your model for sustaining a relationship is one all should consider. Communication on both ends and as you say, knowing how each other talks. April 7th is coming soon, so congratulations on your second anniversary.

Re: My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

Thank you Craiger
It is really nice that I can still post in this thread and post any little updates about us that we would like to share

I sent this to someone who PM me on here mainly about the negative response someone left (which has been removed now)

Thank you for your response
Thomas was quite young also
however I don't know if it was a real facebook user or just a troll as his facebook has now dissapeared
me and all my friends can not find him anywhere
however again he was young so I take his response lightly really

only I felt like I needed to respond and set straight all his negative views against what I had said
purely because of the fact
why would I go to GNS and talk negatively on purpose about my own relationship
who would actually do that

but the comment and thomas has vanished forever now
and nothing for nice responses and nice new people adding me on my twitter and facebook
people who are actually in the same type of relationship that I am in

also the main thing I didn't really get across was that when I sat down with glen the very first time
I did not know a single word of sing language
I couldn't even say toilet...

and the views are coming from me as I learnt how to communicate with someone I truly didnt know how

Re: My story, coming out, Deaf bf. long post Please read :)

I believe that when you put out positive thoughts or actions, the positive bounces back and enhances your life. Same is true of negative thought or action. It will bounce back to the person sending it but with a stronger force. Your positivity will protect you from those negative forces. You and Glen have a special relationship that will extend into many more anniversaries. I will be thinking of you two on April 7th.