Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Kate Moss has been an emotional wreck lately (shocking, huh?) over the loss of two sex tapes recorded with ex-flame Pete Doherty. The thought of whatever disgusting acts those two could have possibly done sends a shiver down my spine. Can you imagine the sight of Pete doing a line of blow from the crack of Kates ass? What are the chances that his dick would be any cleaner than the rest of him? He looks like a hobo!

Either way, there's no need to fret Kate. Having your bits and pieces exposed to the world is bound to do you some good. Haven't you read The Trashy Girls Guide To Fame? Every girl with a dream of fame and nominal talents should own a copy.

Pam Anderson read it and look at her career. If she hadn't recorded herself being impaled by Tommy Lee, she would have been able to create such art as Barb Wire, and she probably wouldn't have gotten syph- or whatever it is he gave her.

Look who else read it.

Do we even know what she does? Nope. And do we care? She is at the height of her fame right now, and all she had to do was get a lil bit of pee on her!

There are a countless amount of starlets with their sexual exploits documented for us regular people to pull it to. Paris Hilton has a sex tape, Lindsey Lohan and her boyfriend Samantha have one, Britney Spears and K Fed have one with them rubbing chicken fat all over each other and him eatin Funions out of her lady taco. I am starting to think they hand out A Trashy Girls Guide To Fame at Hyde.

Fame is fame. Even if it's for pretty much being a hooker. Just thank the Lord that people are still talking about you Kate.