Summertime Crack

If you’re one of those folks who have been in hibernation since Jimmy Carter went back to his peanut farm in 1981, you may not be aware of what crack is. Before reading this entry, feel free to sign up for Netflix and add New Jack City, Deep Cover & Training Day to your queue. Erol’s Video is no longer around and we have these cool digital discs called DVD’s now. Check your local electronics store to get a DVD player.

Now for my people who know the deal, I will proceed. When you hear the word crack, a few things may come to mind. Let me give a few quick examples. Someone who need not have on something that reveals their partition split along the backside. Could be the plumber working in your house with the tool belt and loose jeans or maybe your neighbor mowing their lawn at 7am on Saturday morning in their cheap sweats. Quite possibly it might be a woman on your job with the muffin top squeezing into something that doesn’t quite fit her. Makes the ‘butt on your back’ reference truly come to life… in a bad horrific way. If you’re at the beach or nightclub you may see something that catch your eye in a good way. I’ll move on from that though. Feel free to use your imagination. In lieu of portraying people, I’ll allow this apple to serve as my exhibit in this case. LOL!!!

You might reflect back onto your days of drinking alcohol in the late 80’s or early 90’s and something called Cisco. That stuff was so potent that it was considered to be liquid crack. Many folks woke up kissing the porcelain with their heads buried in the commode after a night of Cisco indulgence. It’s not like the stuff was any good, but the lure of it was the cost. You didn’t have to spend more than $5 to get twisted… and sick.

You may hear the voice of Whitney Houston from an interview with Diane Sawyer in 2002 reminding you that “Crack is wack”.

If you’re a fan of Chappelle’s Show, you’ll recall a brotha by the name of Tyrone Biggums. That dude is a true crackhead. You may have bought a steaming hot TV or laptop off a cat like this around the way for like $50 or maybe a 6 pack of tube socks for 35 cents. Well, not you personally cuz we’re all Christians and don’t buy known stolen goods from drug addicts right? Anyway, this is a guy who said “Y’all act like crack is so bad”. Here’s a brief clip of him in action.

When I talk about summertime crack, I’m not talking about rock cocaine or drugs. I’m sure most of y’all get that point. I’m basically talking about things that your addicted to. But it’s not a normal addiction. It’s one where you become a fiend for whatever that particular ‘crack’ is. I’m talkin’ bout that Pookie from New Jack City feenin’. Y’all know how bad my man Pookie was. I mean, just look at him. Crack was calling him by his full government name. In his own words “I tried to kick… but it be callin’ me, man… I just got to go to it!”

The hot weather always brings forth something that we tend to crave with regularity. Generally for me it’s a food or drink that I tend to gouge during the humid days. But it’s not entirely limited to the consumption of calories alone. For you it might be a certain activity or event, maybe a TV series that’s on between Memorial Day & Labor Day. Anyway, I’ve got a handful, but will limit my list to the 3 most prominent. These are things that I will not do without. I gotta have them!!!

1. Rainier Cherries – These things are so sweet, gotta love them. They’re expensive, but I’ve been catching them on sale this summer at a number of grocery store. I eat these things every single day. I drive with a plastic baggie full of them sitting in the center console. Just follow the trail of stems and seeds in the road and you’re destined to discover where I am. I also eat them at my desk in the office. That’s one of my favorite snacks.

2. Simply Raspberry Lemonade – Liquid non-alcoholic crack!!!! I was already a fiend for the regular Simply Lemonade, but when this hit the shelves in the Spring, I was all over it. I stay on the 2/$4 specials at Giant or Safeway. I must have this in the house at all times. A brotha loves lemonade. The Santa Cruz Organic Mango Lemonade is slammin too!!!! If you’re not up on these lemonades, my condolences.

3. Häagen-Dazs Sorbet – I started off one week just buying one peach and one strawberry. They were so good that I decided to get some more. Problem was that I couldn’t decide which one or two or three to buy. So I just bought all the flavors that I wanted. It’s nice to have a deep freezer. Now I can just stack the frozen desserts of choice. If you wanna get real jazzy, pour some ginger ale in a cup and toss 2 scoops of sorbet in it. That’s some goodness right there playa!!!

The first step in therapy is admitting to the addiction. I’ve done that and definitely feel better about getting that off my chest. The mic is now yours. Feel free to talk about whatever your summertime crack is…

My “crack” list is getting kinda habitual too. I went up your old way for some last night. Cluck-U-Chicken wings at Briggs Chaney. That joint and the one in Laurel are now closed. I gots to get me some of that.

In the meantime, I’m gonna checkout Simply. I’ve had the lemonade and limeade and I will take your advice that the ras-lemon is the real deal.