Ais for Aussie Aussie Aussie

The chants from the terraces are one of football's most endearing features. Sometimes funny, sometimes nasty and sometimes inspiring, there's no better sound than a stadium in unison at full volume. Our tried and true call-and-repeat job is probably in need of retirement, but should you want to get your 'OI OI OI' on this month, you'd want to make it quick. The Socceroos might not be hanging about in Brazil for long.

Bis for Brazuca

The name of the official ball to be used at the tournament. Why is this interesting? Because at the 2010 event, the 'Jabulani' ball was so incredibly aerodynamic that it seemed to defy the laws of physics. If the world's best players can't seem to control a pass or shot, blame the Brazuca.

Cis for Cristiano Ronaldo

He's arguably the best player in the world right now, but he's yet to dominate a World Cup. Four years ago, we saw more of him spruiking motor oil and mispronouncing the word 'places' than scoring goals. If he is to find the net in Brazil, make sure to take note of how long it takes him to get his shirt off. It's like Superman in a phone box.

Dis for diving

It's going to happen. It's probably going to happen a lot. And, believe it or not, an Australian player or two will participate as well. Winning fouls is part of the game - moreso in some cultures than others - but given the news that Luis Suarez will likely be fit for Uruguay, be prepared to see some acting.

Eis for extra-time

For the neutral, an extra 30 minutes is like that perfect slice of caramel cheesecake after a perfectly cooked steak. For anyone with a vested interest in the game, it's effectively torture. If penalties arise, grown men will cry. It's awesome to watch if it's not you.

Fis for France

Ahh, Les Bleus. Who knows what you will throw up next? In the last four World Cups, the French have either made the final or failed to get out of their group. They are prone to magnificent self-implosions, as 2010 proved, but also to some brilliant football. A tipster's worst nightmare, but fun to watch regardless.

Gis for Group of Death

They say there's one at every tournament: a group of such quality that at least one heavily favoured team is shown the door early. This year, you could argue there are three. Group B contains 2010 finalists Spain and the Netherlands, rising Chile and (ahem) the mighty Socceroos. Group D contains Uruguay, England, Italy and Costa Rica, while Group H features Germany, Portugal, Ghana and the USA. All three are frightening prospects.

His for HOOF IT!

This one will come in handy for Socceroos fans. Ange Postecoglou likes his defenders to play it out from the back, and sometimes said defenders overestimate their own passing ability. I can guarantee at some stage in the World Cup, you will be begging the Aussie defence to put the darn thing into row Z, where Robin van Persie can't reach it.

Iis for injury

Already we have seen some of the world's best ruled out of the tournament with injury, including the likes of Radamel Falcao, Franck Ribery and our own Robbie Kruse. There's a plethora of players still fighting to overcome their ailments before kick-off too, meaning fans and coaches all over the world are crossing their fingers to breaking point at this very moment.

Jis for Joga Bonito

Loosely translated to 'The Beautiful Game', it's meant to represent an honourable and fair way of playing, devoid of simulation, nasty fouls or deliberate cheating. One or two games at the World Cup may fall under this bracket, if we are lucky.

Kis for kick-off

This can be taken in two ways. Firstly, it is the act of one time starting play from the centre circle either at the beginning of the match, after half-time or after a goal. Alternately, it is what happens when a couple of testosterone-laden blokes take issue with each other in the heat of battle. In the case of the latter, you're unlucky to see much more than a push, a shove, and dramatic tumbling to the ground.

Lis for Lionel Messi

We probably can't devote 'C' to Ronny and ignore Barca's Argentinean wonder. He's had an injury-interrupted season and, like Ronaldo, is yet to stand up at a World Cup. If he truly is the new Maradona, he'll win this tournament off his own hand... I mean boot.

Mis for Maracana

Rio's iconic stadium has undergone some substantial reconstruction over the past few years, and it is now once again one of the world's premier footballing venues. It will host the final of this World Cup, just as it did in 1950 when Brazil manufactured the mother of all chokes to lose to Uruguay. Fair to say they haven't quite got over that one yet.

Nis for Neymar

If he wasn't one of the world's richest 22-year-olds, incredibly talented and with the entire world at his feet, you'd almost feel sorry for Brazil's little maestro. The pressure on Neymar is ridiculous, and unless he is lifting the trophy on July 14 (AEDT) the home fans will probably feel let down. He's a hell of a player, though, so he might just be up for the challenge.

Ois for offside

If you are new to the game, it might take some time to get your head around this one. If a player is further advanced than the last defender on the opposing team when his team-mate plays the ball, then he is offside, but not if the ball is played through by an opposition player, and not if it's in his own half, and not until he is involved in the play and.... You know what? Just consult the video below.

Pis for parking the bus

This is basically another way of saying "Team A recognizes that Team B is considerably better than them, so Team A is going to commit the entire team to defending for 90 minutes". It's a legitimate tactic, but Team B generally gets angry at it. Apparently the Socceroos aren't going to do this in Brazil. I wish they'd reconsider.

Qis for qualifying

It may be easy to forget, but simply qualifying for the World Cup finals is a commendable achievement. More than 200 countries tried to earn a spot in Brazil, but only 32 could. When you look at some of the countries and players that didn't make it, Australia's achievement seems even greater. Try and remember that as Spain slots its fifth goal past us.

Ris for referees

Very rarely do fans leave a football match and say "you know what I really liked about that game? The referee". It's a thankless task, but fortunately we have somebody to do it and while they will make mistakes, they probably won't decide the World Cup.

Sis for SHOOT!

Similar to HOOF IT! (see H), this is the catchcry of the frustrated fan who is sick to death of seeing the ball passed around the edge of the penalty area. Should the player listen to this fan, the shot is generally awful, and the entire possession is wasted. At this point, the fan will say "at least he had a go".

Tis for third-place playoff

Make no mistake, this is the main event of the World Cup. With effectively nothing to play for, both teams go hell for leather and it usually ends up one of the tournament's most exciting games. Germany have won the last two playoffs, but both games have included utter screamers from the likes of Bastien Schweinsteiger and Diego Forlan.

Uis for unrest

There's an undercurrent of unease in Brazil at the moment as a large portion of residents have hit the streets in protest of the World Cup. Their issue is the Brazilian government has devoted an awful lot of money to the tournament, while neglecting other fairly important things like education, transport and healthcare.

Vis for Vuvuzela

Rejoice! The buzzing bee horns of 2010 are gone for good. Even though deep down we all loved the monotonous droning that utterly obliterated any sense of atmosphere in South Africa, it is time to move on. Vale the Vuve.

Wis for window

Crucially, the transfer window is open while the World Cup is going on. This gives both real managers and armchair managers the chance to spot that hidden talent that would take their club to the next level. Nothing will make you look smarter than telling your mates "I really fancy that Honduras winger at United, you know".

Xis for Xherdan Shaqiri

We're reaching a little here. If you haven't heard of this lad, he's a Swiss winger who currently plays for Bayern Munich. He's quick, skilful and has a wicked shot on him. More importantly, his name starts with the letter X, and he has got us out of quite a jam here. (Edit: Xavi! That would have been much easier.)

Yis for youth

The World Cup is the perfect place for that potential-filled wonderkid to become a genuine star of the game, and there are plenty of players who could do that in Brazil. You will want to claim at least one of these players now, so that when they inevitably set the tournament alight you can profess to be a genuine football boffin. Safe bets include Romelu Lukaku, Paul Pogba, Ross Barkley, Mateo Kovacic and, what the heck, Tommy Oar.

Zis for Zzzzzzzz

Brazil's time zone is certainly not Australia-friendly, with plenty of the best games kicking off before the sun does here. It's not worth even trying to maintain a consistent sleep pattern during the World Cup, just take what you can get and sleep in August. I guarantee the game you sleep through will be the best of the World Cup.