One common belief, and the reality in my life as a foster dad, is that too many children have negative experiences in their lives at the hands of men. This belief can be a discouragement for men to be foster parents.

My wife, Elisabeth and I have been foster parents for seven years. It has been my experience that most children who arrived at our home were initially very reserved when interacting with me. I remembered one foster daughter (I’ll call her Jen) who was terrified of me! She refused to come close to me. Jen would scream as I tried to give her supper, so I needed to sit at the other end of the table. I recall one of the first days she came downstairs to watch television. Initially, she would stand in the kitchen and peer down through the railing at me with her eyes saying, “This is as close as I get!” The most challenging experience came one night when my wife had to go out. She had already changed Jen’s diaper and got her ready for bed. It would have been somewhat easy for me to guide Jen to bed when the time came. But as luck would have it, Jen needed a diaper change. She refused to let me change her diaper. I needed help, so I called our good friends who lived next door. I could have just given up, but my goal was to love where it would be accepted and slowly change Jen’s view of men in her life.

One of my most cherished pictures is the one with Jen. She put her arms out to me and asked me to pick her up. To everyone else, this is just a picture of me and a little girl. To me, it is a picture of victory, of love given and love received, and of conquering the impossible! But in that it conquered what seemed impossible, it is for the normal, the everyday dad who is just willing to extend the love he would give to his family to a special child in his home. ~ Mark ~