Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I knew my subconscious knew what was making me depressed, but I was afraid to hear what it was. If I consciously knew, then action would have to be taken rather than just continuing to talk about it.

So I assisted the Pursuit of Excellence series program called The Wall. Exposure to people moving forward and to the program material always gives me a boost and serves as wakeup call.

The third day was done but I was still struggling. Until the dream:

A dark cave with a a pit in the middle. In the pit, a large lump covered with dust, pitch and chunks of brimstone. Unbearable heat and choking fumes. Next to the pit is a woman in a black and dirty garb. She maneuvers an ugly looking blade with many sharp points and protrusions. She jabs it at the lump, prodding it in certain places.

Hours pass.

Slowly, the lump stirs. This is it! The moment my subconscious surfaces and reveals to me its dark secret. Now that some of the brimstone has cracked and fallen off, I can see that it is a dragon in the pit. A black and shiny flank. A healthy and strong dragon. The dragon says to the woman, "Don't poke the sore spots!" It means the thin places in its armor.

And it is leaving the cave. To reveal itself to my consciousness. It presses its head on the wall of the cave. The wall bulges outward and it will soon free itself from the dark hole it has inhabited for centuries. And... the alarm goes off and it is time to get the Assistant duties started.

-=-=-=-=-=-

That isn't the end though; there are other truths hidden in this dream. The dragon not only represents the deep dark truth. I am the dragon. And the woman? She is my wife, Mo. My initial thought is that she is keeping me captive in the cave. Holding me and keeping me from being the dragon I am at heart. I am Strong. She holds me back.

A day later though, I determine that isn't the story either. The truth of the matter is that she is prodding me to get me OUT of the pit! She wants me to be happy and it is me that is holding the dragon in the pit. She pokes the sore spots only because that is the only thing that moves me from the pit.

A tiny context switch changes the woman in the cave from a witch bent on a dragon's destruction into a princess enduring lasting hell in order to save her dear dragon.