That's what we thought in the beginning...4 years, 8 months and 28 days later, we finally got our BFP. Alexis Marie was born April 10, 2009 at 36w2d. We are now trying to find our way as parents of our miracle toddler.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Please don't misconstue my previous post as a plea for comments. I'm very content with what I get...I would love to find new people to read...and commenters are usually where I start...but I am content. As I said, I write for me...and for Lexi.

It's been really warm here the last 5 days. Hitting records warm. We've been trying to take advantage of it. We took Lexi to the zoo on Saturday and spent the day outside almost every other day this week. Going to playgrounds, the park district pool etc.

Yesterday I trimmed back the spireas we have in the front of our house. My arms are all scratched up from the branches...and I have mosquito bites. In March. Wow.

Lexi had her 3 year old pictures taken on Friday...as well as her Easter ones. I left the CD at my in-laws...so I will post some later.

Both dogs got baths on Friday night. I took them to a self service pet wash one at a time. They were filthy...and smelly. Now they are soft and don't smell of mud and other things that are in the lawn.

Lexi is signed up for a tumbling class and ice skating class in the next few weeks. She's so excited about the ice skating class...I couldn't enroll her before because she wasn't potty trained.

With this warmer weather we've been having I've had to pull out some of Lexi's shorts from last summer. One pair of capri's fits her perfectly...they are size 18 months. Yes, my almost 3 year old is wearing 18 month shorts and capris...and 4T shirts

I ordered a birthday shirt from Etsy for her. It should come in the mail this week as it was shipped on Thursday. I will post photos as well as the shop owner's link once I get the shirt. I'm so excited!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

There has been alot of talk going on in the blogging community about inculsion/exclusion and blogrolls and such. And I wanted to throw my two cents out there.

I blog for me. I started this blog almost 5 years ago as a way to vent my frustrations with our struggles...a way to document everything that we went through. I have been a TTC blogger...a pregnancy blogger...a parenting blogger (I cringe at the term mommy blogger)...a pregnancy loss blogger. I've moved in and out of these topics here...I haven't deviated from this space except for one situation which I didn't think my daughter needed to read about later in life. See, this blog was also meant for her. Or, for whatever future children I had, if any. It was meant as a way for my children to understand why their mom was crazy protective of them...why they never went to bed without saying I love you. I had hoped that one day, I could pass this link on to them, and they could read what my life was like before them. While I was pregnant with them. While they were babies. Etc, Etc, Etc.

While doing this, I found some really wonderful people who were at the same stage I was. Most of the people I still follow have children who were born right around the time my daughter was...and some have just had recent additions. Most of the people I follow, I now know on other social media sites as well. I talk to them on Facebook, or via email, or via Google Talk. They are people that I've never met in person...but who I consider my friends. Who I cry with, marvel with...I'm happy when they have momentous moments...and feel their frustrations when things don't pan out they way they'd hoped. These blogs I comment freely on.

But there are also the people that I follow that haven't had their miracle yet. That don't know if they will ever have their miracle. I cry with them and feel their sadness through their words. I can empathize with them, because I know how it feels to want something so badly, and not know if you will ever get there. But I will be honest and say that I don't comment as freely. And it hurts my heart to admit that. To know that these are the people who might need support more than ever, and not feel like I can freely tell them that I feel their pain. Because I have my miracle. I have what they are trying for...or what they lost.

I don't participate in things like ICLW or NaBloMoPo because I don't want someone who is hurting to come across my blog ranting about the pains of potty training or the woes of a toddler that doesn't want to eat and feel more pain. Perhaps that is a judgement on my part...that they wouldn't want to read my ranting...but I know I didn't want to read about that before I had my daughter. So I choose to exclude myself from those activities...and by doing so, I lose the possibility of finding NEW readers who are in the same place as me...of discovering NEW friends.

So I find myself wondering sometimes why I continue to post here. I don't receive but maybe 1 or 2 comments per post...if I'm lucky. But then I look at my daughter and realize that I post here for her. So she has a history of her life from her mom's perspective. So she can look back when she's a mom herself, or when I'm gone, and know that she's not alone...that her mom loves her more than anything and chose to put it out for all the world to see. To shout from the pages of this blog that she is important. I blog for her. I blog for me.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I wanted to capture this last week...as Lexi seems to have had an epiphany...that there is more food out there than mac n cheese. In this past week she's had:

Meatballs with her spaghetti (could NEVER even THINK of putting a meatball on her plate)
Garlic bread
Fish sticks (specifically requested by her)
Fried calamari (yes, I know, fried foods aren't great for a toddler, but you don't realize how little she eats...so the fact she ate this is a feat)
Fried broccoli
Steak
about a pound of steamed broccoli
Sweet potato tater tots
Lettuce with ranch dressing
chicken wing

We've eaten out alot this past week...mostly because we were sick over the weekend and didn't grocery shop. Normally all she wants is mac n cheese. But she's trying new things...which I'm so happy about. We would always offer her whatever we had on our plates, but she always fought it. Now, we can't keep her hands off our plates. You have no idea how happy this makes me.

**Lexi is only 27 pounds at 5 weeks shy of 3 years old. She's not underweight by any means...but she's at the low end of the growth curve for her height of over 36 inches. She needs size 3T length in jeans...but they literally fall off her. I buy the adjustable waist, and cinch them all the way to the last button holes. Even then they are big...but at least they don't fall down. And now, since she doesn't wear training pants or a diaper, they are even bigger. She needs suspenders!

I'm hoping this new found love of food adds a pound or two to her tiny frame!

Friday, March 2, 2012

I can't believe a month went by without so much as another post from me. So much for keeping up with things.

I'm calling it. Lexi is potty trained. She hasn't had a day time accident since that first weekend we started the "hard core" training...almost 4 weeks ago...she wakes from nap times dry and most mornings are dry as well. Though we've still been having her wear a pull up over her undies to bed at night. We call them her "just in case" undies. And she knows that she's not to just go in them...that they are there in case she doesn't wake up or doesn't make it to the potty in time in the middle of the night. She's not even wearing the thicker training pants anymore...preferring the normal underwear...it's still amazing to me to see those tiny undies in the wash! I'm so unbelievably proud of her...and grateful that this was "easy" for her.

We're also in the middle of planning her 3rd birthday party. OMG! Where has 3 years gone?? We're most likely doing 2 parties...one "kid" party and one family party. The kid party is going to be her cousins and maybe the girls next door. Lexi chose a pool party at the indoor pool nearby. It's fairly inexpensive and they do structured activities with the kids in the shallow end of the pool (2ft)...plus provide pizza and pop. So I don't have to worry about 8 kids running around my house. Then we'll do a family dinner...both grandparents and her auntie who is coming in from VA. Nice and laid back.

I have to say...I'm missing her babyhood a little. She's so independent and opinionated (like me!). She's spunky and bright. We take her to our poker league and everyone just eats her up. And she loves the attention. She's so well behaved that I have to remind myself sometimes that she is only 2...especially when she does 2 year old things (like draw on her face with markers...if you know me on FB you saw it!). She is very mature for her age and I keep waiting for the terrible 2s or even the torturous 3s. But she's patient and willing to compromise like no other toddler I know. I know how lucky I am...and I thank the good Lord above everyday for blessing me with the miracle that is Lexi.

Lilypie - Memorial

About Me

I'm a 37 year old mom of my 4 year old miracle child. Conceived via IVF #2...she was the only embryo we had to transfer. We've since had IVF#3 result in a miscarriage and IVF#4 result in no embryos. I'm trying to accept not having any more kids, while making the most of the one who is here.