Monday, May 28, 2012

I absolutely love this California cottage! It's fresh, colorful, eclectic, and just a little whimsical, without being over the top. It's a look that combines timeless elegance with casual comfort. It just looks happy!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Occasionally I pick up the phone to call my Mom...when I’m happy…excited…sad…lonely…or when I just want to hear her voice. Then I remember…I don’t need the phone to talk to her anymore. Mom passed away three months ago.

So I just talk…and somehow I know she‘s listening. I sense her protective spirit hovering over me and I feel her reaching out to me through time and space. I feel her excitement when I’m happy and her concern when I’m sad. And I imagine what she might say to me. But oh, how I miss the sound of her voice…

Mom had Alzheimer’s. Her mind would come and go. But one day, in a cognizant moment, she said, “I’m not really afraid of death…I just don’t want to leave my children. I need to be here for them…to take care of them.” Then she looked into my eyes, took my hand, smiled, and said, “No matter how grown up they are.” That was my Mom…

When I was thirteen years old, I had a life-threatening heart defect that required open heart surgery. Heart surgery in 1963 was NOT like present day heart surgery. I was in the hospital for weeks, drifting in and out of consciousness. Mom never left the hospital. Even when I was in intensive care, and she could only see me for five minutes twice a day, she sat outside the door in a straight back chair…24/7…in case I needed her. That was my Mom…

The last time I visited Mom, she was extremely fragile. She was in the final stages of lung cancer, in serious pain, and her mind was almost gone. She slept most of the time, and when she was awake, most of our conversations made very little sense to me. But on the day I left, we hugged each other for a long time, and we laughed and cried. She said, “I’m sorry I wasn’t much fun…maybe the next time we see each other, I’ll be feeling better.” That was my Mom…

I think we both knew that day that we were saying goodbye for the last time. And even though I miss her…her voice…her smile…her laugh…I find comfort in knowing that she is finally at peace, and that she has a front row seat in heaven, watching over us with care and love.

Mom,

I know you had to let go...but I still feel your hug. Happy Mother’s Day to the best Mom a girl could ever ask for…

Carol McNeill

Carol McNeill

I have a theory, that you can learn almost anything you want to know about a person or culture by what they eat (food) how they adorn their bodies (clothing) and where and how they live (shelter).

I'm a writer, artist, designer, foodie, and urban anthropologist of sorts. To me, life is a fabulous adventure, and this blog is my attempt to observe, curate, and write about the things that I find interesting. Welcome to Planet Carol!