Called to testify before the IRS, a man asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. The accountant said: “Wear your scruffiest clothes . Let them think you’re a pauper.”

Then the man asked his lawyer the same question, only to receive conflicting advice. For the lawyer suggested: “Wear your best suit. Don’t let them intimidate you.”

Confused, the man consulted a rabbi who told him a story. A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. The mother said “Wear a heavy, long flannel nightgown that goes to your neck.” But the bride’s best friend said: “Wear your sexiest negligee.”

The man looked baffled.”What has this got to do with my the IRS?” The rabbi said: “No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed.”

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”

The Engineer said, “In the neighbourhood of $75,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

The HR Person said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-week vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Corvette?”