This week's article is about half lighthearted fun, and half wanting it to be over, kind of like the Star Wars movies. I'd like to warn you now that if you have balls yourself or if you know anyone who has balls, you might want to go easy on the second half of the article.

Virtual Teen

Being young and dumb is harder these days than it's ever been. Those in this world who are lucky enough to become Virtual Teens have access to all the inadequate brains of their fellow Virtual Teens via their fantastic forum, and maybe, on the day technology permits, they will all be able to combine into one normally functioning human brain.

Take that, sofa! That'll teach you to be soft and comfortable!

"trebbor0" makes the world go 'round. Around him, that is. He's gross.

The next time anyone says the public education system is adequate you can show them this.

I AM FREAKING OUT RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT

Let's all talk about how much we touch ourselves, it isn't weird or anything.

This Week on Something Awful...

Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text.
Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.

Haymaker and The Vein return for a feast of cyborg-on-human punchfighting!

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.