need to die

I managed to wash myself today after 4 weeks of not doing it ... but it dont make any difference ....i still feel dead inside ...i want to save up my medication and take them all ...but my husband makes sure i take them...
no way out of this life yet for me ... want to look up methods again ...get ideas in what to do ... really need to die ...:sad:

Tell me why you want to die sweetheart the pain can't be that bad that you really want to just die. I know your Husband loves you wants you to get better think about him before you think about killing yourself