Gestational Diabetes

Gestational Diabetes and Disordered Eating

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StaciesMom8675309 wrote:

I was just diagnosed with gestational diabetes and I'm devastated. Not so much the diagnosis, but everything that comes with it. I have a history of disordered eating - a form of a combination of anorexia and purging. I have battled this for 15+ years and for the most part have had it under control. Until now. The process of focusing so much on what and how much you eat, counting carbs, measuring foods, keeping logs, calling in results and being "monitored" over every little up/down, how much/how little and how frequent/infrequent I'm eating are MAJOR triggers for me. My eating disorders stemmed from control. I was in an abusive relationship where eating was the only thing I had control over. I feel very much out of control over things right now. I'm having a very, very hard time with this. Has anyone been in my position before? I feel very alone.

I feel exactly like this. I struggled with anorexia until 2008. This has been such a trigger and feels like restrictive eating. I look at my plate and feel so bad about eating so little or not letting myself have a treat. I hate it and it makes me feel so depressed.

Is there a therapist or a counselor (not someone specifically associated with GD but more with eating disorders) that you can speak to? I ask because you mentioned the trigger and I think you're being very self-aware which is great, and noting that this could potentially become a major issue down the road. It's very important that you keep to the GD diet, but also, because it is so regimented, I can see how that would trigger old restrictive habits which are no good for your mental health or the baby's physical health. Since you were just diagnosed, I would seek help now while you're learning the program and diet, and talk to someone who can help you navigate the differences between this and your past in regards to eating. If you have insurance through your workplace, they usually offer counseling through the benefits with in-network providers so it doesn't cost you much if any. Try and stay as positive as you can. You will get through it and be on the other side of it in no time, all with the prize of your beautiful baby at the end that you worked so hard to keep healthy!

I have admitted to a doctor any of my eating disorders and I have never seen a counselor either. With my first pregnancy, I told my doctor that I was feeling depressed and they put me on Zoloft. I had a terrible birth experience and I had a nurse who was very rude. She insinuated that my very normal reaction to what I had been through was entirely related to depression and acted like her going to "get me my Zoloft" wound magically "fix" my feelings. Since then, I have been very skeptical of admitting to medical professionals that there is anything abnormal about my thoughts/feelings/behaviors. I have not wanted that diagnosis to loom over me in my charts. Even doctors and nurses, who should know better not to stigmatize mental health issues, still do so. In the past, I have always been able to reach a point where I felt in control and did not need to continue with the behaviors.

I have only had one appt with my doctor about gd so far so I'll see on Monday how much of a dictator she is lol. People are telling me to try and give myself treats but I don't know how...my old ed habits tell me to be strict and not allow myself. This is so hard.

But what I was saying was not to talk to a medical professional, but rather a therapist or a counselor who specializes in eating disorders? This might help you manage the new diet in a way that doesn't make it feel restrictive but reframe in a way that helps. I don't count my carbs or anything anymore - it was too crazy. I look on the back labels and know what I can tolerate but other than that I eat pretty much the same stuff everyday aside from going out to eat. Maybe you can do the diet in a way that's less regimented so the old feelings don't come back. I'm sorry about the docs not being understanding or educated on mental health issues, that's really terrible and they should all know better than to make you feel that way!

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