he got out and is still alive but hasnt made a movie since 2003’s Basic, which i did not see. but i was just thinking about what a great movie die hard is and i totally forgot mctiernan also did the great hunt for red october, also a great movie, really knows how to make a good thriller, action, suspense story with good story and characters, and i should try to make an effort to watch more of his films, he does this very well. he also did last action hero, which i thoroughly enjoyed.

also die hard with a vengeance. that was good and he did that. but not 2, 4, or 5. have not seen 4 or 5. maybe i should. well, i saw part of 2 and it seemed ok.

ideally would have a nice waifu to cuddle with and watch die hard, and that i feel about her on a level comparable to how i felt about That Woman, and that This New Woman would have some sort of feelings for me and want to make an effort to cuddle with me and watch die hard more than she’d rather be out “hanging out” ie fooking and sucking and sexting other guys. especially black guys hahahaha.

have you ever had a woman you LUVED reject you harshly but NOT reject black guys? she loves and makes an effort with black guys but cant lift a finger for you. i can tell you getting RACECUCKED like that is never fun. adds insult to injury. its bad enough that they would rather be with other men than you, period, and when its a black or nonwhite guy, but esp black, it feels even worse.

not that i hate black people. i get along very well with this middle aged black woman i see several times a week, and she is pretty damn black. like super black acting. talks with super ebonics like she grew up super poor in the hood. i am sort of curious if she has any keeds dead or in jail. i guess she has a husband which is kinda surprising. well good for them, families are good for blacks as well as whites. families are good for ALL races.

took 2 benedryl today, trying to “self soothe” before bed by NOT watching news. watching news gets me hyped up and not really relaxed. also ive decided its pointless to try to go to bed at 7 because im not even near tired at that time. might as well go to bed at 9 and play some more cards and try to calm self down.

today came home, took first benedryl around 3 o clock, by 4 o clock i was dead tired and couldnt even keep my eyes open. wish i felt like that at 7 or 8! i actually took a powernap for like 30 or 45 minutes. woke up like 515, took another benedryl, played some more cards, of course wish i had some mj but oh well. maybe i should buy some on a dark market hahahahahahaha. no i wouldnt do that. its illegal and i dont condone illegal activities. plus id be way too paranoid and scared. as i should be.

but yeah, its KEY to CALM YOURSELF before going to bed like fatherland jim said, youd think kids would learn this naturally, but many dont. i certainly never did. i later turned to terrible things like alcohol, MJ, and porn to help “self soothe”. all these are bad with MJ being the least bad. but yes porn. oh. watch 10 minutes and crank one out to GET READY FOR BED, cant SLEEP, cant clear your mind untill youve CRANKED ONE OUT.

well its still not a terrible thing to do…….just dont use PORN to do it. stop watching porn. dont necessarily have to stop jerking off. but porn makes you want to jerk off TO porn EVERY DAY. and this is just TERRIBLE.

STOP WATCHING PORN. this is so much more important than “nofap.” do noporn instead.

MARCH 1

wewlad am i thankful i am not thinking about that woman NEARLY as much as i did even 6 or 7 months ago. 7 short months ago i was thinking about her like 2 hours a day. now i barely think about her for a minute a day. it takes a LONG TIME (1 year and 7 months) but time eventually DOES heal all wounds. now if i saw her again right now, shit yeah that would suck. because you would ALWAYS take them back. i’d probably take her back 5 years from now when she is either a huge winner or a huge loser.

but yeah this new job even though its nothing to be proud of as a man…..is still a giant leap forward from being a horrible neet. i dont have terrible dread and anixety of HOW AM I GONNA SURVIVE THIS DAY? every single day. what am i gonna say to these people, how am i gonna fix or pretend to fix or pass the buck on these complicated problems i dont understand? how come that dumb woman can handle this so much better than i can? how come she wont hang out with me any more? and the only saving grace was the MJ i was able to get from her. she was willing to do that at least. i guess that is how she showed her willingness to do something for me, that she was too immature to express in a better way. i would have much rather just hung out with her and had an honest conversation rather than have her get MJ for me.

this is what happens when fathers abandon their daughters. its TRAGIC. if by some MIRACLE they dont turn into huge sluts, and most of them do, then they will be like scared children in other ways, and will hurt you in ways they don’t even intend to.

heh. believe me. i knew about her father situation from the very beginning so i assumed she WAS a crazy slut. and then i got to know her better and found out she was surprisingly well adjusted for a gurl wihtout a father!

takeaway is that if she did have a good father, she probably wouldnt have handled the thing with me the way she did, which was not at all hahahaha. her having a father would have helped ME quite a bit. and would have helped HER immensely. CHILDREN NEED GOOD FATHERS. PERIOD.

i dont even hate her, i totally understand why she essentially shit the bed here, i kinda did too. it was devastating, i was very very upset, i thought about it a super lot for a very long time, i didnt come to any big conclusions other than what i already knew: in tough stressful situations, people CHOKE. good people choke and can really let other people down even when they dont INTEND to. esp when there is luv on the line hahaha. i mean the lesson i learned is, blurt that shit out immediately. dont wait a couple months. just blurt it out and send them a text if they dont want to hang out with you. if they dont want to hang out with you, chances are they picked up on your feelings and just want to ignore and avoid it because its weird for them. you’ll probably still want to tell them. so tell them, rip the bandaid off, and move on with your lives. take 1.7 years of no contact to get over it. the end. very simple hahahaha.

here we go, nice 2 hour show, rock in rio, 2001, decent sound, another rio show has terrible sound. crowd is much more high energy than german crowd in rock am ring.

oh god now im just getting creepy af. i am stalking my work colleagues daughters who are in their 20s and very successful with graduate degrees and great careers making lots of money and establishing themselves very well before age 28, never fooking up, working hard and reaping the rewards. i saw a picture of the older daughter and her husband and i was like, holy shit i think i know that guy. he looks a lot like the brother of an old friend i dont really talk to anymore but his whole fookin family is great great great (and hwyte) people. very principled and ethical and kind and moral and exactly the type of people that should be having many many many hwyte children. it would be nice for me to contact the older brother i knew. he already has several beautiful hwyte children. so i stalked the younger brother knowing his name of course. only can find 2 public pictures of him with his wife, who is not unattractive hahaha. anyway the younger brother is also a good guy, but a little more on the intellectual side. still a great guy. whole family is AWESOME, no fookups there. even though the older one, well we used to drink a lot hahaha. and he turned out just fine too.

somehow i found out the daughters name and looked up both their names together. i was looking for a wedding announcement but couldnt find. felt creepy stalking this work womans daughter. a successful, attractive professional. she has several children who both quickly got valuable graduate degrees and making like 70k a year by age 26. now she is a very nice good woman and i dont doubt her children and family are the same, i am just a little envious of young people who have their SHIT TOGETHER so well.

now im trying to think of a way to ask the woman, hey is your daughter married to so and so? because how do i explain that one. the impetus was i was watching this 1 minute biography video my colleague did where she had 2 seconds with a photo of her daughter and her husband. kind of a blurry picture. naturally i paused it to gawk at her daughters and the men they chose. and the one guy looked immediately familiar even though its blurry.

now i havent had a great record with blurry pictures. like 3 days ago i looked at a blurry picture of 60 people trying to find that Woman and saw a woman that Kinda Looked like that woman. however that picture was a lot blurrier than this one, so i can say with MUCH more confidence that this man is actually who i think it is.

now he’s a great guy so i have no doubt the daughter chose wisely. but i wasnt nearly as close with this guy as i was with his brother. his brother would just come around and hang out with us sometimes but not all the time. i mean he had his own healthy social and work and school life too.

so basically a SMALL WORLD story here, you see those all the time, but I personally don’t, so its pretty interesting to me.

if i were friends with the guy on facebook, i could easily see pictures of him with his wife and find out more about his wife, and confirm it is the daughter. but i wasnt fb friends with him and i havent even been on fb in 2 years hahahaha.

but yeah. i wish i were more like ANY of these people. those men, or the woman’s daughters. hard working, motivated, persistent, high achieving, making good money in good careers by age 26, having happy lives, happily married, having children.

funny, these daughters are successful high powered highly educated career women, as is the mother, but like the mother, i imagine that they ALSO want to have a husband and children and are not interested in the CC, or, to coin a term, the Cock LADDER. they want the career AND the family, but they aren’t indecently, hypergamously dumping husbands and trying to climb the cock ladder the way they are trying to climb the career ladder.

shit they’re already at the top of the career ladder by age 30.

but the mother has been married for like 30 years, married only once as far as i know, and i feel her good values rubbed off on her daughters. successful educated career women who, despite that, STILL get married pretty young and start having BABIES young. wow. it DOES happen folks, despite all the black pilling we hear about childless cat ladies.

ok, maybe the daughter should have started having children before age 30, shit i dont even know how old she is, i know how old the supposed husband is. basically my age hahahaha. well i think hes a wee bit older. not much though. he’s at a very age-appropriate level of his career. doesnt have the same credentials and prob makes less than she does, but he is prob about equally as ambitious and hard working. he got a useless degree like me but through busting his ass and persistence and confidence, he still made something of himself. having a qt low number gf-then-waifu probably didnt hurt his confidence hahaha. but he prob already had established himself a bit by the time he met her, to pull a Confident Ambitious Career Woman like that. which is always a big risk, but, like i say, I think this girl was raised properly.

its just weird to see ambitious, successful, actually COMPETENT and smart career women, who are ALSO interested in babies and family and not fooking over their husbands and children, and in being good wives and mothers. it can be done. also a good example that Not All Women Are Like That hahaha. if i were a mgtow pvssy i would be totally hemming and hawing like a J about all this hahaha.

818 on a Work Night. not going to bed at 7pm, but around 9pm. trying to relax and calm my mind now by writing, playing some cards, and NOT watching the news. just watching some police procedural show with the volume turned down very low. listened to some maiden earlier but doing so now would just get me too pumped up before bed.

george lincoln rockwell. i should listen and read more to him. ive listened to a few speeches and interviews and liked them. i just keep forgetting about him.

this one is prob pretty good hahahaha. not confirmed. i can confirm he was a great speaker, was very J wise, and wow people are applauding him at UCLA in 1967. well i guess things didnt start getting really J’d until 1968. well how did he feel about vietnam hehehe. ok sounds like he was against it. but not because he luved commies and hated americans.

i know that he hated commies and traitors, and his wife left him for his beliefs, the navy took away his pension for his beliefs, and he was assassinated at too young of an age by antifa.

holy shit, very good speaker. shit you cant even get richard spencer at UCLA or Brown like Rockwell was. not bashing Spencer. just saying he is a WEE BIT lower energy than Rockwell, and that universities have gotten even worse on Freeze Peach.

so yeah his stuff is just as relevant now as it was then. really should spend money to get his books.

well isnt it principled of an official UCLA youtube channel to post the GLR speech at UCLA hahahaha. im sure they say its so people can have a record of this foaming venomous HATE, a chilling reminder etc, like how people talk about triumph of the will. a chilling reminder hehehe.

fook that shit i watch it for fun and good feels and inspiration hahahaha.

ok i guess he was killed by a disgruntled member of his party. probably a fed hahahahahahaha.

holy shit his wife is still alive and they had 3 children. begs the question haahahha.

hope GLR was a good father to them. i know Dr Pierce was not a great father to his children and thats the one thing I dont like about Pierce.

now the ANP never really went anywhere and i dont know. maybe the time wasnt right. but stuff like DS and TRS are much much more relevant and valuable and powerful. better optics, better people hehehe. but GLR was a total top goy. we can all learn something from this wise and courageous man. and war hero.

really hankering for another public appearance by some good goys, like what spencer did at TAMU like 3 months ago. we need shit like that EVERY DAY, not every few MONTHS. i think spencers planning something though. i hope.

would be nice to have a nice low number gf to cuddle and listen to GLR speeches for hours. watch die hard. watch triumph of the will. knowing that she liked hanging out with me more than with tons of other guys.

so the left and hillary and cuckolds are so disgusted by what trump said about “WOMEN”, as if he is endorsing Raep, telling men to go out and grab and force themselves on women, msnbc literally called him a “SEX CRIMINAL”, wen the point is, there are women, many women in the world for which this talk is accurate. sluts that give it up easy and allow themselves to be treated like meat, and on some level they enjoy it. short term gurls. sluts. not the type of gurls you bring home, not the type of gurls you invest in or marry or make the mother of your children. funtime gurls. these are the type of women trump is talking about, not ALL WOMEN. there are basically TWO types of women, hahahaha. the madonna and the whore hahahahahahaha.

well this is WRONG, we have to accept that all women have BOTH the madonna and the whore combined. that the same woman who likes being Grabbed By The Pvssy by Rich Powerful Men (or pushy negroes) is the SAME woman you need to have your children.

come on. do you REALLY think trump raised his DAUGHTER to be one of THOSE gurls??? does he want his daughters to be grabbed by the pvssy? no! he didnt raise those kind of daughters. and look at his children, all his damn children, they are wholesome as fook, well except his daughter married a joo. that might be a little better than being a disgraceful whore though. i mean she can always divorce the joo, or renounce jooishness. you cant renounce 40 cox you took in your whore past.

best song ever hahahahaha.

it hit me in feb 2015 during a very low and stressful point. my confidence was about as low as it is now, but my stress level was much higher as i was working terrible job. confidence was low because essentially muh rel with the woman Had Ended. She was DONE but i didnt realize it yet, i kept trying to hang out with her. talk to her. not realizing how DONE she was. not wanting her to be done. obviously. so at the end of long horrible days i would get blazed and listen to THIS SONG repeatedly and it actually calmed me down. it was a truly positive memory. smokin spliffs and listening to this song. i remember that ritual fondly, even as it occurred in the middle of a pretty bad time.

i guess that is how much i enjoy degen negro MJ hahaha.

now i am glad to be rid of all that damn stress, but my confidence is just as low, or lower, because it sucks to be thrown away like that, and it takes a long time to bounce back, and, just as important, is it REALLY wrecks the confidence to be a jobless bum loser who cant get a job and cant keep a job and is thrown away by a woman he loves who makes more money than him and now hes struggling like hell to get a damn job that makes way less than she does. in the long run the long term joblessness is probably affecting muh confidence MORE than the shit with HER.

cuz it means i can be a basic normie and work like everyone else. everyone gets dumped and heartbroken….but everyone else also carries on and works like a normie.

its a sad thing when a woman crosses over from being a good woman to a bad woman. the two types of women. to see a woman Spoil like that, its very sad, right up there with Losing A Child, losing a family member, being abandoned, losing your Livelihood.

fasting today because i somehow overate two days this week. damn. cut muh weigh ins to once a week, saturday afternoon, and today saw that i was EXACTLY THE SAME as last week. damn. prob cuz i had two cheat days in one week. and lemme tell ya folks, the cheat days dont feel like cheat days. its a damn struggle just to meet the goal.

stupid nyquil. i mean you just feel tired and low energy and kinda despairing and negative the next day, thats what i really dont like about it. wish i could just do MJ instead!

this was another big album for me when i was 17 or so, and by far MDB’s greatest album. the one two punch of “the crown of sympathy” and “turn loose the swans” near the END of the damn album is just brilliant and awesome. MDB would never even come close, which is kinda sad. 23 minutes of spine tingling musical perfection hehehehe and they have been around longer than 23 YEARS hehehehe. more like 30 years. scary.

mixtape 2016 hahahaha

good thing i dont have a bitch to share this magical music with and take away my ability to enjoy it hehehehehahahaha.

ok “the cry of mankind” on their next album “the angel and the dark river” does come kinda close.

and then thats it folks, thats all the my dying bride you really need, sad to say.

good fathers dont raise gurls to become the TYPE of woman you just grab by the pvssy.

no NOT every woman has a little bit of this in her. but too many women do because they have been poisoned by our sick, degenerate, JOOISH culture which has been rammed down our throats since the SIXTIES.

for TWO OR THREE FULL GENERATIONS NOW. people MOTHERS and GRANDMOTHERS were degen sluts.

transilvanian hunger at .5 speed on youtube hahahahahaha. now they do pitch shift it so that sounds pretty weird.

dont marry some slut that likes it when men grab her by the pvssy like a slut.

there are two kinds of women in the world. those that would make good wives and mothers, and those that dont. which kind do you think trump was talking about. what kind of woman do you want to marry. what kind of woman do you want to raise your daughter to be.

i cant put it any more plainly than that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont use question marks because these really arent questions.

funny. i remember a time BEFORE i was in luv with her, and i thought clearly: you know, we get along great, and shes a great person, i really SHOULD be interested in her, but Im NOT. she would make a great wife and mother. maybe I should just FORCE myself to try to date her and see what happens. or make a PACT that if shes not married by 30, we can get married and have children, i mean I could do a LOT LOT LOTTTTTTTTTT worse, so WHAT if i dont feel a SPARK and im not in LUV with her.

and maybe I did “force” myself a little bit…….but when i did, it started an AVALANCHE, and the REAL TRUE LUV this avalanche unleashed was REAL AF and has taken 15 months to get over.

lesson: when i was being COMPLETELY LOGICAL about it, I logically saw that she was a good Mate for me and good wife and mother material. But I whined that I didnt have Special feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelings for her. So I tried to FORCE myself to have special feeeeeeelings for her…………..AND IT WORKED “BETTER” THAN I EVER EXPECTED.

what exactly did i do that was so effective? i dont even know. I just THOUGHT about it. really thought about what it would be like to make out with or fook her, rather than just say ew weird and STOP thinking about it. thinking about what it would be like to cuddle with her, which certainly was never as “weird.” thinking about some other guy fooking her helped a lot too hahahahahahaha. if he could, why couldnt i, hahahahahaha.

honestly this si not so complicated. when she was with her long term BF, i respected their relship and there was NO QUESTION to me that she was OFF LIMITS. when THAT ended, she was no longer off limits. and her getting into a short term, degenerate dating did nothing to change that. I will respect a 5 year rel, i wont respect a few months of “dating.” besides, that ended TOO.

trump wasnt talking about WOMEN you dumb cvnts, he was talking about SOME women, a certain KIND of woman, the kind you DONT want to marry or have kids with. the kind you have Netflix Chill Tinder FUN with.

all these women getting mad are the SAME women who have been Grabbed By The Pvssy by Strong Men……and they ENJOYED it. although they might have felt shame and regret later when the strong man dumped them.

marry women and raise daughters who DONT enjoy being grabbed by the pvssy. marry wives and raise women that would kick that man in the Ballz and then who would tell her husband or father, who would then knock that guy out with a solid punch to the face. the end.

or i guess the woman could do that too, or taze or pepper spray the guy.

like james bond says, i am a gentleman, but i’m not always a gentle man.

not sure if that was james bond. but it could have been.

now james bond was a degen who grabbed more than few women right in the pvssy, including nonwhite women. they guy was a damn near sex addict muh dick negro!

anyway did pretty much a 24 hour fast, then ate a huge dinner that i wanted to make special, got a order of Curry Noodle from thai place for the first time in at least 9 months. it was great. i ate the whole thing hahahahaha so that was probably more than my daily limit of 1200 calories, hahahaha.

well i measured it out and it was like 4 cups worth of rice noodles, ridic curry sauce, and chicken. turns out rice noodles do not have as many calories as i expected. less than 200 per cup.

i suppose there could be coconut milk in that curry sauce, and that stuff is pretty caloried.

if trump needs vouching for this women remark, and he SHOULDNT, i think his daughters could do a pretty good job of that. i mean all his children are huge winners and they all really need to be playing an even larger role. and i think they would all vouch he was a good father.

i dont even know why im thinking about it. well all these republicucks saying they are gonna write in pence instead of vote trump. never thought of throwing your vote away on a write in candidate. but is that a REAL risk with regular voters? i just dont know.

i mean at the very least we need to split the country into 2 countries, right and left, and then maybe the right country could further break up into Ethnostates, and the left side would become a big brown muddy shithole like venezuela or something. all the white leftists and mudsharks who wanted diversity and nonwhite dick would be welcome to go there.

oct 9

maybe we are reaching a time of such peak degeneracy that men simply dont CARE anymore that their GF has been with 30 guys. like yeah shes a slut and been with 30 guys but im a manwhore and ive been with 50 gurls, were all sluts nao, who cares, its just animals fooking, if it does work out big deal, ill find another slut, i mean long term rels are stupid and doomed anyway, ill just keep fooking sluts till i die, and its not like ill ever fall in luv, all these sluts are basically the same, you get bored of them after a few months tops. why would i want to get MARRIED to one of these sluts. and have children? thats too much responsibility, then i cant bang sluts, get drunk, plus it costs too much money, i dont have that kind of money.

yeah this plaguewielder album is better than i remember it! indeed does have a great ride cymbal sound! and yeah i like it when darkthrone tries to sound at least somewhat like a BLACK metal band, whereas lately they are more about being a “pan-old-skool-heavy-metal band” which is theoretically ok…….but i just want more BLACK metal in there: more black metal vocals from culto, more “blasting” (ie not super fast, TH style “blasts) from fenriz, and the more typical “black metal” riffs to go along with that.

i dunno the riffs sound familiar because i heard them 14 years ago or so……but now they sound better. really kinda weird.

on transilvanian hunger he does that same beat for the first 24 minutes of the 40 minute album hahahahaha.

its weird that reddit is so permissive for men to watch porn, like yeah its normal for all men even married men to watch pron reguarly. no big deal.

heh. apparently some people use the phrase “hooking up” and they DONT mean Secs. They just mean “MAKING OUT.” well just SAY Making out becuase i automatically assume its Secs. youre painting a negative picture of yourself. so when somewhat says hooking up, ask them what that means.

also what about women who Blow guys but dont Fook them? thats almost as bad in my book. do you want a gurl who has Sucked Off 40 guys? also, if a gurl will blow you, shell fook you. i mean a damn dirty dick in your mouth, thats a pretty whorish thing to do. good gurls dont suck dick before fooking the guy, and they dont fook the guy until they have established a monogamous official rel.

so a woman that jumps to suck your dick the same day as meeting you, holy shit. really signalling what type of woman she is then. thank her for it hahahaha.

i mean its really hard, and probably IMPOSSIBLE, to simply LIKE a woman like that.

so its heartbreaking when a woman you LIKE turns out to BE like that, and i really wish she werent. but she is.

and also you have 10 times the difficulty getting and keeping a job, and everybody makes more money than you, including women, and you cant deal with life at age 30 hahahaha.

even the 40 year old virgin was not a neet. there should be a movie called the 40 year old neet. maybe he would be a virgin too. or better, he had secs with one woman once when he was 20, and that was it.

ok trying to start a table of poker to get my mind off and its sunday and i dont want to job search hehehe.

ideally i would like to do MJ but….i gotta find a better way to Self Soothe.

and yes MJ is degen…..but so is sitting around in neet despair!!!!!!!!!!!!

and mj alleviates the neet despair and ALSO makes it easier to survive nonneet working life.

shit makes it easier to survive neet life too!

i mean really. during my darkest times, smokin MJ was literally a light in the darkness. a ray of sunshine. i still remember those times fondly, even though they were surrounded by even darker times. i get a ridiculous amount of fun and enjoyment and happiness from MJ that I just cant get elsewhere in Life, except by being with a Beloved Waifu. and I just dont see there ever BEING one of those again. ipso fatso, better get back on the weed train.

i could just get a job in a restaurant because everyone who works in a restaurant smokes MJ!!!!!!

hehehehe.

how about this. give the sleazy waitress at this semi sleazy bar “restaurant” i go to a big tip and ask her where i can get some MJ. i guarantee she smokes MJ and probably does other stuff. supposedly the rule is front of house does coke and alcohol, back of house does MJ.

holy shit lisa link this is life doing an hour on The Pickup Artist Community

now she is talking to a 45 year old virgin who feels there is something deeply wrong with him and he just wants a normal loving relship and to be normal and confident and have a GF and eventually a wife and not be a damn weak weirdo virgin.

the show gets at the idea that this is not about secs, its about something deeper:

Pick Up is not about secs, its about finding a damn WIFE or a GF, from guys who are so unconfident and social failures than they cant even get SLUTS to have Secs with them. And its clear they dont really care about the secs as much as just having a damn long term rel with a woman. But They Can’t, because they cant even talk to a woman, they cant even date the EASIEST woman.

Its misleading that the pick up leaders talk about sluts and secs so much, but the lame weak virgin omegas who are the Customers, they want smething much less DEGENERATE: they just want an actual REL with a woman, they dont CARE about secs with sluts.

but apparently you need to practice your social skill on sluts before you can have good enough social skills to get a nonslut???!?!?!

i dont know, i’m close to the level of these pathetic customers myself! the only difference is that i DID have secs with an easy slut, i apparently had the social skills at age 21 to do that.

but never again! and really that was just a combination of me looking healthy and young, and being DRUNK!!!!

now i look about 20 years older and i dont drink any more.

interesting to see this is still around in 2016, but i guess im not suprised, there will always be desperate unconfident me.

telling that they have the men do confidence-building exercises, like walking on coals shouting “i like myself! i like myself!” hahahahahahahahahahaha. this truly does strike the root of the whole thing, that these men totally lack confidence, and thats the ROOT CAUSE of WHY they cant get women.

once i learned that simple lesson, i lost interest in pick up and got to the real deep political and racial and moral shit hehehehe.

but i STILL have no confidence and STILL cant pull women and would STILL benefit from pick up artist techniques!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

which is simply be masculine and be confident and you will get women. these arent really “techniques.” its a very natural way of being that its unnatural to not have those natural habits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who CARES if its “canned” if the women are responding to it and fooking the guys? the women dont really CARE!!!!! why should YOU?????

and women cant understand this because NO woman has EVER been THIS desperate and lonely. they can’t believe that another human being can get this bad. but men can! it so clearly points out the simple profound truth: WOMEN ARE THE SUPPLY, MEN ARE THE DEMAND, and woman just cannot accept that! well because it shows women in a position of strength and power and privilege, rather than a helpless victim.

what brings these guys here? BECAUSE THEY HAVENT DATED A WOMAN FOR THEIR ENTIRE ADULT LIFE!!!! 10, 20 YEARS OF LONELINESS!!!!!

one guy is handsome but a sweet niceguy virgin.

one guy was married but the divorce crushed all his confidence.

but all these men are lonely and want a real rel with a woman. theyre not antisex either, but they cant even get sex, cuz they are not confident or aggressive enough.

the pua vince something has some good lessons but he dresses in a ridiculous peacock style that undermines his credibility. why not just dress like a Rich Preppy. Brooks Brothers or something. none of this pink mohawk peacock shit.

also you will probably pull better wife tier women with the preppy A E S T H E T I C anyway.

so yeah thats great advice for all neet virgins out there: dress like total Chad The Superrich Preppy. Look like a white man in a brooks brothers catalog.

so just build confidence in the men.

but WHAT BUILDS CONFIDENCE IN MEN?

BEING SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

you can get some confidence WITHOUT women by being succesful in your JOB/CAREER (i and most neets are a total failure at this).

really the ONLY other option you can build confidence is by LIFTING.

these men are here because they are 29 years old and never had a GF and they are like holy shit this cant go on.

and sometimes much older than 29!!!!!!!

like we say, its not too weird if a guy is 21 and a virgin, even 23, maybe 25 at the latest. but after 25 it DOES start getting weird.

thankfully i stopped being a V at age 21, but I was more than weird enough, because i never really dated a woman by age 25, 30, etc. thats just as weird.

the show points out rightfully that men are becoming less masculine, more shy, etc.

this is very true, but WOMEN are also becoming more disgusting and degenerate and responding only to negro strongmen type masculinity. toxic masculinity hahahahahahahahahahaha.

women who have been with 40 guys and who have spent 10 years in relships just cant even relate to guys who have only been with 0-1 gurls and spent 0 months in relships. and vice versa.

of course i dont think these guys should be going to clubs either because these are full of nothing but degenerate gurls. i guess 1% of these gurls might be good women dragged along by their degen slut friends. well, with friends like that, it was inevitable theyd become sluts anyway.

besides banging 25 year old sluts would be good for their confidence, better than banging 35 year old sluts.

but yeah i will give the tv show a littl crrrredit for realizing that its all about CONFIDENCE. because it really is.

i mean shit i wish i could buy confidence because its the most valuable thing a man can have.

well you can buy nice clothes and that does help.

well at least those guys, even the 45 year old virgin, had decent jobs. and a decent job didnt give them enough confidence to pull dirty negro fookin cvm bucket skanks!!!!!!!!!!! a good job didnt give them enough confidence to pull the cheapest, easiest, worst women!

also i think there is something to the “wolf pack” concept where average “beta” men can boost their confidence and “social capital” by going out in groups and giving them strength in numbers, that they might be able to Pull Easier than if they were completely alone.

so omega white men need to form GANGS instead of playing vidya in their basements hahahahaha.

just get some MJ and then invite Stoner Sluts to smoke MJ and then blow and then bang you. easy hahahahaha.

another great idea i had is that to find the more quality women on dating sites, you have to PAY for it. of course your competition i guess would get fiercer then, cuz its guys serious enough to PAY. also….if the women dont pay, wouldnt it be the same mudshark sluts you find on tinder or okcupid? but women shouldnt have to pay to be on a dating site! women are the supply, men are the demand!

well really women shouldnt be on ANY dating sites EVER for that very reason!!!!!!

so yeah i dont think i can really reach a conclusion here. either you will look better because the women wont be as bombarded with low quality men, so you’ll look better……..

or there will be a higher percentage of high quality men and you will look WORSE!!!!

so if you want to look better BY COMPARISON, then its best to go to free dating where there is a TON of shit so you can look good next to them! and the quality of women on ANY site, regardless of whether the MEN pay, is gonna be about the same!

so the REAL question is, are the WOMEN willing to pay to have access to the Higher Quality Men? and then you will pay to get into THAT pool.

because the goal is a high quality woman, not a low quality woman.

find a place that is is both a bar and a restaurant. then wait outside for the druggie degen workers to come outside for cig break. then ask them if they know where to get any MJ. give them 10 or 20 dollars for the info.

make sure the place is kind of sleazy and has some clientele who come there to get WASTED on cheap drinks. working class white people getting HAMMERED on 2 dollar big beers. and then they can order some burgers and fries to soak up all that beer and get food in the stomach to soak up MOAR BEER. then they stagger out, smoke some MJ, and fall right on their face and pass out and go to their Manual Labor Working Class Job the next day. that kind of place hahahahaha.

avoiding messages from their fat mudshark GF who eventually dumps them for a black guy, until they find another fat white trash mudshark, rinse and repeat hahahahaha.

what a life!

heh. i bet it DOES ruin a rel when the woman starts making more money than the man. never had that happen to me cuz i was never in a rel hahahaha but all the women i liked eventually went on to make more than me, and now, EVERYBODY makes more than me, and if i get a 12 dollar an hour job, most people will STILL make more than me, including women.

now im not talking about a situation where the woman has a medical degree and the man has a GED. then of COURSE she is gonna make more money than him. I ‘m talking about they ahve about the same level of education or the woman has LESS, and at the time they start their rel, they are making about the same, but over time, she just manages to fare better in her working life and get better paying jobs than her slightly-more-educated man.

like what happened with me and her hahahahahahahahaha.

sometimes i feel like my i dont want to say “hateful” but just disrespectful, contemptuous, chilly, cold attitude towards women, well if i feel this cold towards women, then what the hell does it matter if i look at porn? women are all dirty whores anyway!!!!!!!! i might as well use it to help me Jerk Off because I sure can’t think of anything real life to jerk off to!

so this is a slippery slope. WHAT DOES IT MATTER, WOMEN ARE ALL WHORES ANYWAY, and porn is a realistic representation of that!

well, WRONG, because even though normie women are huge whores, they are only HALF as bad as the whores in porno.

and its just harmful to the soul to watch porn and puts you in a degen mindset that is not good.

shit its better to just hate women and think all women are whores, than to WATCH whores being whores. i think i would just hate women even MORE and thats not good.

darkthrone. tried listening to “arctic thunder” again today. came out thinking welp the first song “tundra leech” is obviously the best, and i would be better served taking this reawakened interest in darkthrone and apply it to “mid era” albums: total death thru sardonic wrath. particularly, ravishing grimness thru hate them. 1999 to 2003, hahahaha. back when culto still tried to sound like a black metal singer and they still wanted to sound like a black metal band rather than a Heavy Metal band.

AND ITS NOT LIKE THEY DIDNT USE FOOKLOADS OF CELTIC FROST STYLE RIFFS THIS WHOLE TIME ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they never ever really got away from that except on fookin “transilvanian hunger!”

so just have those celtic frost riffs with sick black metal vocals, and the occasional “second wave black metal” (ie transilvanian hunger) riff!!!! and that pretty much sums up the albums of this 99 – 03 period!!!! or even on panzerfaust, the two styles are separated out into separate songs. not sure they have to be THAT autistic, but im also not complaining about one of muh all time favorite albums!

and yeah it is disappointing when one of your all time fav bands stops being so damn good!

REALLY transilvanian hunger is NOT a good representation of darkthrones style. overall. and i wish it were!

also, why couldnt ALL the songs on their new album be as good as that first one?

and why couldnt culto occasionally do an old style vocal once in a while? not that what he does on the album is BAD…..but his older style was BETTER.

i dunno. i just dunno. i am waiting to read more reviews of this new album, but i think people are holding back until the official release date.

listening to other sorta recent albums culto has done with sarke and “gift of gods” and again he is doing this kind of groaning vocal and not his vicious Black Metal vocal. unfortunate!. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

well no dreams about her last night thankfully. still tired and now getting more hopeless abotu job situation. super duper hopeless.

what i hate are applications that make you write out the name, address, phone number, supervisor name, of every job you have worked in the past 20 years. even jobs you only worked for 1 month hahahaha. ya short hopper. job hopper.

so therefore it makes sense that a few weak sensitive sissies would crack under all the pressure and Stressquit their jobs. because they feel overwhelmed and anxious and worried.

IMHO bargaining is just a form of denial: if i do this, then she will come back to me. NOPE.

also I think anger and depression/DESPAIR go hand in hand very well. i ahve been in an angry and despairing phase.

like i get angry at her. SHE DESERVES TO SUFFER (not in a violence way, but i mean karmically, for the suffering i have suffered because of her!) for treating me like this! i hope she gets knocked up by some deadbeat soon and then when she comes crying to me i will say NO, HO! I am not captain save a ho! take your wandering uterus to some other fool!

then i feel despair because i still luv her and want her.

job related stress amirite hahahaha

so physical abuse is a crime, or at least misdemeanour.

Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, Bullying, or any kind of nonphsyical abuse is NOT a crime. ie, against the law, something you can be arrested, prosecuted, jailed, fined for. not a matter for the courts or LE.

(law enforcement. dont know acronyms? you dont deserve a 10DAHJ.)

” Remember that your feelings are real, but they are not necessarily true. It’s natural for the mind to sometimes wander into areas of self-criticism and negativity especially when we are in the vulnerable position of interviewing for jobs. ” from 7cups user. at http://www.7cupsoftea.com/qa-work-stress-7/i-had-more-interviews-for-jobs-i-didnt-get-i-feel-so-crummy-what-do-i-do-now-70/

imho it is better to be delusionally happy hahahaha. and delusionally overconfident. if your mind cant perceive reality correctly, better that it is biased towards the positive rather than the negative, cuz that will keep you active and moving and working hard and nto giving up.

did a 5 miler, it was cold and windy, might be time to sign up for planet fatness

some jobs actually train their employees and give you a handbook.

i thought it was GOOD for a company to train their employees, because it cost a shitload of money to hire new people and have them not perform. i was wrong, it costs more to TRAIN them, and then you just hire a shitload of people, with the expectation than 50% of them will be gone within 2 months. let them get a job at one of those lobsters for lunch places that gives TRAINING and Platinum Health Care and Pensions hahahahaha.

the idea of an employer giving TRAINING is as ridiculous as the idea of an employer giving PENSIONS!

LOBSTERZ FOR LUNCH! YOUR SON OWNS A FACTORY!

hahahahaha i have a 15000 word What To Say During The Interview document. that is like 7 longass blog posts worth of bullshit. i WILL post that here at some point soon.

it sucks when women lose interest in you just because you are beta and boring. your friends dont care that you are beta and boring. but men and women are different. women are HARD WIRED to care if you are beta and boring. shit i would LOVE to be beta, right now i am OMEGA as fook. cant even get and keep a job like a STEM virgin autist!

ok did another 5 miles, took 1 tblsp of nyquil before going. that is now the max i will take.

ok so thinking i am hurting, im in pain, she hurt me, i am very disappointed and hurt by what she did, those are all valid thoughts; but all women are evil whores, i am a huge loser, i am a horrible person, those are….ok “valid or invalid” is not what i was trying to get at, well maybe they are. distorted vs nondistorted.

i need to learn how to SELF SOOTHE, in the past i probably relied on HER for that, and she didnt even do THAT good of a job of it! other than she was a pretty young nonslut gurl and she used to be nice to me. that was all i needed. it is easy for women to find men who will be nice to them. it is very hard for men to find women who will be nice to them!

just set a low bar and assume that if i get a female friend and she is under 30 and no kids and not a slut and nice to me and not hideous or fat, i WILL get feelings for her eventually, within 2 years, even if i dont have them rigth away (because i am probably getting over someone else at that time.)

but yeah i wouldnt mind bumping up the celexa from 20 to 40!!! mg that is.

don crawley, “compassionate geek”, has a youtube channel for how 2 give good customer service in “IT” and Tech Support and Help Desk. migth be useful, i have saved a couple of his videos to listen to. i wish we had ANY training in this sort of stuff when i had muh job. but noooooooo. training costs too much MONEY when we could be out there FLAILING and DYING on our calls acting like untrained monkeys. sends a great message to our callers. about how your Mutual Company “really believes” in its employees by giving them “tools to succeed” and “not set them up fr failure.”

google HOW TO SURVIVE IN A CALL CENTER

it wasnt so much the customer service that killed me, it was giving constant ridic customer service in a damn call center. there you are held to ridiculous standards (SLA’s) that say retail or restaurant people are not; also you cannot pass the call along if you are struggling; the caller cannot speak to a manager or senior or leader because there arent enough of them and they are too busy already; and you are constantly in need of help and explanations and cutting through the confusion, but the best you get is a really shitty chat room with seniors, where they often give you shitty answers that dont explain SHIT for your caller, and sometimes they ignore you entirely because there are 2 Seniors and 50 tier 1 desperate untrained lunatics begging for help, and your begs scroll off the top of the screen quickly.

in my previous job, i would say, yep i can’t help you there, but if you go to that person over there, they can help you. more than half the time, that person was available to help clients. ie they werent on the phone or currently with somebody else. and if they were, people were happy to wait or come back.

so i was doing my powerwalk and in my neighborhood i saw a car pull up to a house about 1 block from my house and a young early 20s woman got out of the drivers seat and went to the house and started screaming and swearing and calling somebody a fooking bitch and such, getting ready to start a real Girl Fight. i assumed, probably correctly, that it was one trashy woman confronting a second trashy young woman who the first woman was being cheated on by her trashy boifran. it was a heated and hostile thing, that if it were two young black men, i would expect one person to be shot and killed hahahaha.

then i thought well women can go crazy over men too.

i wonder if my female former friend did this when she was being cheated on hhahaha.

because it means you really care about the guy, you dont want to lose him.

so then you go confront the OTHER PERSON? why not confront your cheating scumbag boifran or gurlfran. scream at THEM.

i imagined “my” woman doing something like this. damn. she liked the guy who cheated on her more than she liked me!

i wonder if he came to her and begged for forgiveness and said ohh im sorry baby ill never do it again! ill change for you!

yet it does not matter.

did he ever come back to her after she discovered the cheating and say im sorry ill stop lets get back tgether? i think they were done in november and i dont think she ever got back together with him, because cheating was a real dealbreaker for her. this means she has healthy self esteem. yet she couldnt treat me decently!!!!

she was a decent person, better than most women……..except she was a real good ABANDONER. that is not a good thing to be. not a good trait. good people can have real bad traits.

its not as bad as cheating……….but its still really bad. and most normal people have cheated. that is horrible. at least 50% have cheated. and that is a damn dealbreaker. abandoning is a gateway sin to cheating hahahaha. anyone that could have that little regard for human life hahahaha and how much they can hurt someone.

so yeah when you are banging some slut and are trying to evaluate her personality, ask her if shes ever cheated, and also dont forget to ask her if shes ever abandoned a guy.

its HARD to abandon someone, i mean youd think the woman would explode in contempt, disgust, and anger on the man and be like “YOURE the bad guy, stay away from me, i never want to see you again!!!”

on the other hand, it really isnt hard, its the easiest thing in the world, you just ignore them until they stop bothering you. to them its just ignoring. only to you is it “abandoning.” you dont matter enough to them for them to consider it “abandoning”. theyre not the ones getting hurt.

Tony S • 9 months ago
My two analogies for this very scenario are:
1. Like being pushed into a raging current and being asked to swim when no one has really taught how to do anything but tread water
2. Sitting in a row boat out on a lake and being told to navigate by rowing but there are no paddles or oars.
This is how I feel 9 of 10 days in a position that I am entering my 6th month on.

The 6 month mark may be more from the perception of the hire who suddenly feels like they have a good handle on things and aren’t exhausted at the end of every night. From the perspective of the manager, it probably appears they’ve caught on to everything faster. Learning a new culture is exhausting, even when it’s only a new company culture. Be prepared to feel a whole lot better after 6 months.

Second, it is easier to find a job when you have a job. Think about it. If you come in to interview with me, I’m going to ask, “Why did you leave your last job without a new one lined up?”
What are you going to say to that? There’s no good answer. “My boss didn’t give me the training that I needed”? I’m not hiring you then, because it’s your responsibility to follow up to get the training you need. “I wanted to branch out into other areas of real estate”? I suspect this is a lie because you quit without having a new job. I know there were problems at the last job.
– See more at: http://evilhrlady.org/2007/04/when-to-quit.html#sthash.JqkPN8CE.dpuf

I’ve decided that I’d like to take my career in a different direction, and my former employer didn’t have the opportunities I was looking for.
I found that I was bored with the work and seeking bigger challenges to grow my career, and it didn’t seem ethical to use my former employer’s time for job hunting.
I’m looking for a new challenge that will allow me to use my skills to the fullest potential, in a different capacity than my former position.
I left my last position to (reasonable cause, such as spending more time with family). My circumstances have since changed, and I’m completely ready for full-time employment.
Keep in mind that honesty is the best policy. If you have understandable reasons for leaving your last job, such as a move or relocation, personal issues, or an illness in the family, go ahead and explain those reasons briefly.

But move on to your next stage with a clear heart while you do it. Her “reasons” sound like a hodge-podge of excuses and justifications for a decision she’d made that had more to do with her than you. She’s unreasonably holding things against you.

Don’t feel guilt. Let go of the regret.

END

if she really loved you, she would have HELPED you!

i wanted to try to help the situation. i cam towards her with an open heart, and KINDNESS and COMPASSION. she showed me no compassion, just coldness. she was not willing to try to help. she shut down the kindness. what do you think all this communicates?

heres a thought, did i only fall in luv with her because i was really fooking lonely and desperate? and otherwise i would have been able to say “WELL SHES OBVIOUSLY NOT AVAILABLE and i wont get feeligns for someone not available.”

well, the problem with that is, she was obviously unavailable for 90% of the time i knew her, and i DIDNT fall in luv with her. it was only when she seemed at her MOST available, ie, out of her long term rel, secretly having an unstable short term rel, only when thereby she became More Avalable, did i start to get feelings for her.

but yeah i was lonely and desperate too! like i am now!

and i am still desperate for her, i would still take her back. even though i am doing suprisingly well, at 104 days after The Break Up and 74 days of No Emailing. Now I am worried about The Job hahahaha.

and googling all sorts of shit like quit job because of anxiety, quit job because dating coworker, how to explain quitting job,

anway a job might tell you “BALANCE THE BOOKS” and you have no idea how to do it, but you have to figure out how to do it, cuz thats your job. and then if you ask too many questions you get fired. the internet is full of horror stories like this, i have linked to them, people complaining about no training. i say fake it until youre fired.