See Gull

When you see a gull, it may not be a sea gull. Some gulls, while being happy to revel in the glory of their nautical connections, floating round in ponds and splashing in the breakers at the sea side, as if they really did belong out at sea, in practice seldom go out of their depth. This black headed gull for instance is a fake and a phony. First and perhaps most disturbing to non sea gull lovers, is the fact that he doesn’t often have a black head. Moreover, in the case of the suspect identified by our photo, he is actually wearing his summer plumage. They are not great travellers, so it is unlikely that he has recently arrived here from the frozen north and assumes he has arrived in midsummer.

As an aside. Is it still frozen up in the frozen north or have the ice caps emigrated to Mars? I believe that they have is a vacancy. It is true that they have become unhappy with their lot here on earth these last few centuries. They feel ignored and unappreciated and haven’t been able to find the enthusiasm to sink an ocean liner or anything lately. That hole in the ozone layer is probably big enough for them to slip through by now.

Back to black – headed gulls, who are so often found without black heads and who are most commonly found sorting through the debris on rubbish tips, (doing a little recycling). In spite of having those webbed feet, they quite definitely haven’t found their sea legs.