“Performance-enhancing drugs have become so normalised that recreational cyclists are said to dope just to beat their personal bests.”

Jack Kerr
With complex anti-doping regulations, mislabelling of supplements, and sporting bodies wanting to keep investigations in-house, drug tests are more likely to uncover cheats among amateurs than professional athletes.

“Too many allegations of sexual harassment are still dealt with behind closed doors, with secret handshakes and payouts, with confidentiality clauses built in to protect corporate interests and personal reputations.”

Martin McKenzie-Murray
The departure of The Age’s editor-in-chief due to workplace impropriety highlights the ongoing hypocrisy of the media as moral arbiter.

1. Which well-known Hollywood actress of the 1950s and ’60s was born Natalia Nikolaevna Zakharenko?

Natalie Wood.

2. What type of spirit is Bombay Sapphire?

Gin.

3. What colour ball was used in the day/night Test cricket match in Adelaide?

Pink.

4. Corella forelle, Josephine de Malines, Packham’s triumph are all types of which fruit?

Pears.

5. Name the author of The Blind Side whose latest book is The Undoing Project.

Michael Lewis.

6. What name is given to scissors with serrated blades that make a zigzag edge in fabric?

Pinking shears.

7. Cherophobia is an irrational fear of what?

Happiness.

8. Ned Kelly wrote which famous letter? (Bonus point for naming the year Ned Kelly was hanged.)

The Jerilderie letter. (Bonus point: 1880.)

9. Hansen’s disease is more commonly known as what?

Leprosy.

10. Susan Kiefel was recently appointed to what position?

Australia’s High Court chief justice.

Quotes

LITERATURE

“I think it’s a form of introspection.”

Sam DastyariThe Labor senator confirms he is writing a memoir and has been reading David Foster Wallace in preparation, presumably his Brief Interviews with Hideous Men.

SURVEILLANCE

“Over time, Sodexo plans to add sensors to light poles and rubbish bins, and we already have plans to start experimenting with drones.”

Keith WestonThe project manager for a program that monitors in intimate detail the activities of Rio Tinto’s employees explains the mining company’s plan for further surveillance.

POLICING

“Flume, who does wonderful music from that sort of operation, is absolutely live entertainment and will be the sort of live entertainment on offer.”

Troy GrantThe NSW police minister explains a slight relaxation of lockout laws, apparently to benefit performers such as Flume and other “famous artists who [have] won about five ARIAs”.

AMBITION

“For president. And also, you know, so, what the hell man, anyway.”

Joe BidenThe US vice-president indicates his desire to run for the top job in 2020. Biden first ran for president in 1988, the same year Donald Trump told Oprah he wouldn’t run but if he did he would win.

HARMONY

“I don’t think he likes my authority.”

Pauline HansonThe One Nation leader complains about Senator Rod Culleton. In fairness to Rod, he scarcely approves of the High Court’s authority, let alone that of an ageing racist clinging to conspiracy theories about halal meat certification.

COUNCILS

“There was some concern around that actual name in relation to global issues.”

Karen MayThe Mackay councillor explains a decision to rename a street currently known as “Isis Court”. Daesh Drive has a nice ring to it and properly rejects implications that the group represents Islam or is a state.