The Nothing Expert's Guide to School

Menu

Ten Reasons Why I Am A Lousy Parker

I saw this report on the news about a vandal who calls out poor parkers by writing on their cars.

Well, this makes me very angry…so angry that I must speak out.

I am a woman and proud of it. My sex has NOTHING to do with my parking. I am sure some other blogger is just going to write something with the words “…Because she’s a woman,” in response to this vandal who thinks it is his duty to shame poor parkers. Ha Ha —Not!

Here are the REAL reasons why I may have parked badly:

The parking space was on the left side of the street.

Am I supposed to use that right mirror for something?

My neck hurts from too much (never mind) and I can’t turn around.

Just as I found a space, I had to wait to back up for this man to let his dog do his business in the spot. Then I had to wait while the man bagged up the stuff. Then all the other cars lined up behind me, and they honked, and I got nervous.

The guy parked in front of me parked two feet from the curb and I was trying to match him.

I know I have spatial issues from my cooking. When I have to store leftovers soup from a pot, I always pour the soup into the wrong sized storage container. Then my husband laughs at me.

Parking is like dancing….forward back, cha cha cha, forward back cha cha cha. I knew you were going to do the bump and grind dance if I left enough room for you. So I didn’t.

There was this little man across the street who stopped gardening in his little plot, and he just stood there with his hands on his hips and watched. No matter where I park, I see that guy.

It was 95 degrees, and I was in a hurry to get my groceries into the fridge, especially the ice cream.

A kind man tried to help me by calling out directions, and then he drank something from his paper bag and started talking to a street sign.