Killer Sunshine

God blew out the candles on His birthday cake, the Sun. So in 2057 the space mission Icarus II is heading for the dwindling fireball with a nuclear bomb the size of Manhattan in hopes that it’ll re-ignite the bonfire so that those sun-dependant Earth wads won’t freeze their Old Navy™ pants off.

That was the plan for Icarus I, but it got lost in space in 2050 and wasn’t able to complete the mission. So seven years later Icarus II is almost there, and out of friggin’ nowhere they get a signal from Icarus 1. After much deliberation, they decide to go check it out in the hopes that their payload joined with theirs will increase their chances for success. This is where space dookey hits the space fan.

Both ships are so close to the sun they need to have their shields up so they won’t make like bacon. One catastrophic problem after another plagues the crew, who’ve calculated there’s only enough air for four people to complete the mission. That means the crew of seven (the eighth got barbecued during a space walk) have to make some hardass choices. If I was onboard I’d vote to get rid of everyone except me and the chick-o-nauts.

The ship’s computer has been sabotaged. The air lock is destroyed. They’re running out of air. There’s only one spacesuit – and it rides up too high in the crotch. Things get incredibly intense as the ship nears the sun (or “hot ball”). By now the crew knows they’re expendable, but have to complete the mission – which only has a projected 45% success rate – or the whole world will turn into a human ice cream freezer.

Sunshine (2007) is one of the more realistic sci-fi films this side of Planet of the Apes. The sun surface visuals are just what I imagine it to be in my dreams, as is the insurmountable problems the crew has to keep dealing with. Pillow-biting insane doesn’t begin to describe the lunar drama or atmospheric action. (Note: please don’t bite pillows…unless you’re in prison.)

Chris Evans, who played The Human Torch in the Fantastic Four movies, also stars. Ironic, given that he could flame on and save everyone the hassle if he only had his super powers in this flick. But that was the director’s call, not mine.