The title of this blog comes from a Gaelic expression -"putting on the poor mouth"-which means to exaggerate the direness of one's situation in order to gain time or favour from creditors.

05 June 2008

So quiet you could hear a pun drop

I love Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey-Maturin books. They are probably the best historical novels ever written.

As well as being an extremely agressive and successful naval officer he is not averse to giving the world some of the most terrible puns ever uttered. This one is from the sixth Aubrey-Maturin outing The Fortune of War:

Jack Aubrey:"Do you see those two weevils doctor?"Stephen Maturin:"I do."

JA:"Which would choose?"SM:"Neither. There is not a scrap a difference between them. They are the same species of curculio."JA:"If you had to choose. If you were forced to make a choice. If there was no other response..."SM:"Well then if your going to push me, I would choose the right hand weevil. It has significant advantage in both length and breadth."JA:"There! I have you! Your completely dished! Do you not know that in the service, one must always choose the lesser of two weevils!"

archiearchive: That was Robert Heinlein, I believe via Lazarus Long. A quick Google....A practical joker deserves applause for his wit according to its quality. Bastinado is about right. For exceptional wit one might grant keelhauling. But staking out on an anthill should be reserved for the very wittiest.Yes, Lazarus, but note that it's for practical jokers, a completely different class than punsters.

About Me

Born Bonaparte O'Coonassa in Corkadoragha where the the torrential rains are more torrential, the squalor more squalid, the hopelessness more utterly hopeless than they are anywhere else. Actually I'm Shaun Downey and I live in Romford which is probably worse (Romford, that is, not my name!)