Does God speak? In the silence of the wilderness, in the shattering noise of a city street? What does it mean to wrestle with gender, and not accept the standard of just being gay? What does it mean to speak about that journey, accepting others, yet still be true to your own self?
This is my journey out of silence, out of the shadows of others, not afraid of my own voice, rather, listening to my Rabbi speak my name, giving me strength.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Intimacy

What does it all mean?Went to the Exodus Regional Conference in "beautiful...take my breath away...Wisconsin" and the special guest speakers spoke on Intimacy with God. What it looks like and how we live our lives out of that Intimacy. I was encouraged, challenged, drawn by the love of God in a deeper way. How fully do I give my thoughts and feelings and desires over to God? Do my thoughts, feelings, desires line up to the word of God?Who's thoughts am I listening to? Are they my thoughts or the firey darts of the enemy, who seeks to confuse me, draw me to be self sufficient and worship false gods?I came away this weekend with more clarity than ever before. A thirst and a hunger to run after righteousness. A desire to read the word of God, pray without ceasing and to ask for wisdom and revelation for my Heavenly Father. I want to know that if I step out of the will of my father, I will know.

One night they talked about the 7 longings of the human heart.

1. That God really enjoys us (me): Ephesians 3:16-20...pray this every day until it clicks within you. Nourish our relationship with God/Jesus/Holy SpiritThat God doesn't just love me...He likes me.

2. Longing to be Fascinated: humans grasp at anything that fascinates us. In our broken state we jump at that which gives us pleasure, be it physically, sexually, emotionally. My prayer is that the Lord will show me his GLORY...try praying this daily

3. Long to be Beautiful: we have a longing to be desired, liked by others. We need a deep connection with how God sees us as beautiful. That we do not need to do things just so that people like us.

4. Longing to be Great: We long for more, we long for greatness and often we try to get that in the world. We should desire for greatness in the kingdom of Heaven. Paul's focus was on the rewards in heaven...yes, there are rewards waiting for us. I desire to be as close to God as possible.

5. Intimacy without shame: long for the stability of love. To boldly go into the throne room of grace. To come before God without shame. Love others without shame.

6. Long to be Whole Hearted and Passionate: Everyones inner soul longs to worship and love God. That is how we are formed. There is a deep inner voice that longs to worship God. We often do not take time to listen, nurture that deep inner call. We fill it with work, relationships, shopping, eating, sex, anything that takes us away from sitting in his presence.

7. Long to make an impact: we want relevance,we want to impact others. All I want to hear is "well done good and faithful servant" God wants to remove all the things that hinder our cries and longings.

God is saying to his people....love me as I have loved you.God is saying to his people....come to me all who are heavy and laden down and I will give you rest.God is saying to his people....I will remove that which hinders you.God is saying to his people....I will give you a passionate life.

So it may not always be easy to walk in relationship with God. He will challenge us, refine us and draw us deeper into relationship with him. It is all about him and His desire for a deeper and more relevant relationship with us. I often run, when there is pain, or I do not "feel" God. In the times when it is the dark night of the soul, I want to press in, even when I do not feel like pressing in. When I do not hear him or see him or understand what is going on, I will try and claim his promises. I will press further into understanding him who has given me breath and life.

I challenge you to meditate on his word everyday. To read and ask God to reveal himself to you. That he would show you his glory in your life. When there is pain or confusion...press in. When there is doubt...press in.When there is numbness...press in.When there is joy...press in.

God wants and desires a deep, relevant relationship with us. He will do anything to get it...He does it all because He loves us...

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

When it says rejoice over you with singing...it literally means, spins wildly over you. Bask in the knowledge that God is wild about you!

About Me

My wife and I are learning from others that living ideally in a close knit community, reaching out to others and being debt free are important. Sharing stories and inspiring people to be the best that they can be. We enjoy music, poetic lyrics and art.
Art and words (spoken), any way you look at it, is an expression of someone's inner workings, what is actually being brought out into the light of day, either on canvas or on paper. We enjoy moments of self reflection as we pick up a pencil, paint brush or camera. It is actually liberating to turn the TV off and walk into creation...and get your hands dirty.