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11.9.07

MPWB.

Not to mention this fabu weather. I love when the nights stretch out and the cold creeps in. I feel like the only welcoming soul, but then I often do. I take in orphans all the time. I can't see any need to point out who and what, but they're as welcome as rice and hot sauce on this chilly evening. Hey there, Fall! Good to see you again. I'll take you in any night.

Sarah is the most pathetic dog I've ever seen. Constantly begging for love. Poor girl, ending up with some one so stingy with love as me. I'm actually pretty free with her, must be how silently she begs. There's a reward for patience and persistence-she' invested 7 years in me so far and never once spoken ill or let me down. Another orphan. Perhaps my great love story. Me and the half Basset/half Doberman some girl left me to raise. she's as ugly as she sounds. I think it's hip to call mutts cute names and spend a lot of money on them to legitimize them, My Basserman and me. My Dobette? You call it, we got it all right here outside of language.

I love those secret languages; the vernacular of long affections. They'll cut you cold, but they're warm within. We have a tactile existence of her very deliberate falls under my absent hand. And I find her so easily-when she does all the work. She hates this cold, but 99 seems to be fine with it. Me and 99 have another love story I'll leave to the wind and the thieves. we know all those little secrets.

But this is not a post about my puppies. On the outside it looks that way. It looks like our love song, but I don't hold love songs. Y'all know that. I throw them away and turn on them. I treat them like, well, stray dogs. Nope, this is the post about winter and how it comes to me and makes me doubt everything. I love it for that. I think I like to doubt. Should I cut my nails or grow my hair?

The doubts are here today. Am I sad to see another change or is this just chemicals? Those chemicals, they can't be trusted. Am I pleased at these short days or did I just sleep well? Are these memories or some disease of the heart? Is this warmth situational or sweet soy oil?