Friday, December 31, 2010

In 2010

I feel like I can only remember the last few weeks of this year. The weeks that I've been waiting for in a sense. All of us together in this house playing, cooking, eating, sleeping, teasing, caring. Being together. But just like last year, as I think a little harder, season by season, child by child, I can make out the changes, the growth, the moments and the in-between that made 2010 what is was.

In 2010:

:: I made as much as I could and when it still wasn't enough, I asked for help:: That's new, but it welcomed new employees to my business and new friends to my flock:: I've decided on some things that I simply don't want to do with my time, so I hired someone for that too:: I am now sure that if my work doesn't allow for personal creation time, that I must take it by force, and I did that a few times:: I killed so many situations with kindness that my cheeks are killing me from smiling:: I determined that its still the best policy:: My cheeks will get stronger, along with perhaps deeper laugh lines:: For the first time I spent a lot of money on a bottle of fancy face cream for the above:: I am not sure I noticed a difference:: I painted 3 rooms of my house:: Four, if you count that one wall in the living room:: I dreamed on and on about more that I want to do with this house of ours:: I planted tomatoes for the first time, and learned a bit to do a better job next time:: I kept meaning to dig more and to plant more:: I mostly tended to my flowers on fabric:: We were gripped, heart and soul, as we watched our neighbors' belongings wash away in a flood:: I was gripped then again, by the kindness and generosity that hundreds of strangers have shown to my neighbors by participating in my little quilting effort:: I read letters that came with the donated blocks- they were of hope, love, and loss:: I met and spent two days sewing with some wonderful women to assemble thousands of blocks into (what will be) more than 150 quilts:: I learned that a sewing circle can be created in your neighborhood and it can also be created across thousands of miles. Its the same.:: I delivered 37 quilts to families in need (so far):: I held out my hands to welcome the first steps of my youngest son, and we crashed to the floor in proud giggles, fixing every problem that I had that day and every day in my life, in the process:: I've watched this boy affirm his place in our family and blossom a personality that we could have never guessed:: When that personality hit the dog on the head with hard objects I steered it towards kindness:: Leo is happy for the above:: I watched my two younger girls form a team of sorts in almost every thing they do:: I watched my older two boys wrestle with their friendship, and separate into two rooms:: I watched all my children care for their little brother without being asked to, as its just now in their nature:: I paid college tuition:: Wow (regarding the above):: I wondered how I would survive with my first baby at college:: I cried and I cried and I cried:: Then we did it:: And I cried some more:: I ached as I watched little Roman kiss his sister's Skyped face on the computer screen:: And then, as evidenced by my writing here today, I survived it:: I owe every ounce of that survival to my husband, who is so solid, and so loving, and so understanding, that I forget he is a separate person sometimes:: Our girl survived it too, beautifully:: As recently as three days ago, I stared right through an orthopedist as he told me that Nicolas's broken ankle from a crumbled skateboarding trick, would require surgery and two screws to avoid arthritis before he is 25 (I had driven away from the skate park feeling wrong):: As soon as I heard the phone ring, I knew it was him, hurt:: I listened to a dozen doctors, nurses, anesthetists, stayed awake, prayed, waited in 3 different waiting rooms, felt guilty, and a little helpless, though these are not new circumstances to us after 6 children:: Once he was sewn up, casted, home, fine, not in any pain and everything was over, I decided it was time for me to sob and be scared as I went off to a hard, deep sleep:: That's not a new occurrence either:: And with that surgery behind us, we are all, without a doubt, intact:: My dear love decided my motherly efforts for the past few days were worth a bouquet (and I didn't even have to live through this to get it):: I was happy to have this beauty to consider, prune, trim, arrange, design and marvel at, allowing it to also be what it is, if not just a little better in my eyes, with my encouragement ~ just like my year

A hard wind is blowing outside today, marking the last day of 2010 with sparkling sun and unnatural warmth. My heart is filled up, ready to release, then fill again with what our next year holds. I thank you for your visits here, I wish you every bit of love and warmth to begin the new year with happiness, hope and inspiration!

77 comments:

These reflective posts are cathartic... amazing what a year brings, and we recall all over again the highs, the bumps, and griefs, and then with a tear and a grin give thanks, because we survived, triumphed even! Another year behind us, so full and eventful. And a new one ahead... I am looking forward to the stories you will share, the creative inspiration you find and share with us. May this new year be good to you and yours, may you find enough adventure, and enough calm, to keep you smiling every day.

Thank-you, Anna, for being yourself, for inspiring me and for making the world a more beautiful place, with your fabric, your smile and your children. You are truly an inspiration. And, yet, somehow you keep it all so real. Blessings!

I was so touched by the post and also so inspired. Life is filled with so many ups and downs and it is the balance of the two that makes it all so worthwhile. Thank you for sharing your personal reflection of the year. I wish you all the best in 2011.

Anna- you inspire me endlessly... I often find myself in a creative rut asking myself... what would anna do? And I always know the answer... fearlessly battle on... as you do in life and your career always. Because you exist and succeed every day I somehow know I can too- you make me braver and I love you for it. I read you blog religiously and throughout the year (starting my own handmade business after winning a contest and a new sewing machine) I have found your insight (techincial and personal) so helpful and inspirational- Please continue to be you and do it with as much grace and style as you always do- may 2011 shine for you and your family.

Many times I don't read all of a person's blog if it is long, or just doesn't seem to catch my attention, but I read every word of your post today. I felt joy and pain and sadness an even a little loss asyour daughter left for college. That was a great wrapup of the year. Save it so your kids can marvel at your love and vision.

Beautiful, heartfelt words, thoughts, life. Brought tears to my eyes. I love that you have your husband's support through everything - that you two struggle + laugh together and survive through it all with a big (cheek hurting) smile on your face.

Here's to a wonderful new year filled with many moments of gardening and enjoying your flowers - on your fabric, and in the soil.

Thank you for your constant inspiration, honesty, openness and true love and dedication for life and your family and yourself. You are an inspiration for my moments of life.

Happy New Year! I hate getting those "something is broke" calls. I only have half as many kids as you! I'm slowly learning to plan less and just let the family/vacation time be "fluid". It doesn't stop my visions of quality family time playing games and harmony. I always like a new year and beginning! BTW, I picked up the latest issue of Sew It All magazine and your fabrics are on just about every other page!

Anna Maria, When you wrote that Roman kissed his sister's face on skype, tears came. You are so beautiful and loving and kind and of course your children are too. Love reading how you share your life with us! And may I say I LOVE that poppy doily? Poppies make me think of my paternal Grandma who has been gone many years, but I always think of her because she planted poppies in her yard. XO, Cheryl

Happy New Year, Miss Anna! Miss you. One goal for my new year is to keep up with my friends' blogs better. It's Jan 1st & here I am. So far, so good. Love that you have listed out the year's highlights so 2010 doesn't pass unacknowledged. Fabulous.

Anna Maria, what a lovely post about a lovely family. And, oh, how I can relate to your Nicolas' broken ankle and surgery, and the emotional aftermath. My daughter had a badly broken arm (and consequently surgery) when she was 7, and I distinctly remember being incredibly stoic until it was all over, and then I brought her home from the hospital, tucked her into her own bed, went to my room and promptly collapsed into tears. I think it's just God's grace for mothers to be able to be rocks when they need us to be!

I went back to work after being a stay-at-home mom for 5 1/2 years and also used the time to learn how to sew. I know that my creative energy is put on the backburner now, and I, also, need to carve out the time for myself to nurture my inner creativity. Thanks for sharing little bits of your soul. You are truly an inspiration.

Happy New Year Anna Maria! What I realized from reading about your past year, is that all things are conquerable... you accept the hardships as being hard and then move past them, which is much easier with loved ones surrounding you. I think 2011 is going to be a great year! xo

I think that is the best "year in review" I've read in some time. It's amazing how much touches and influences our lives in just 365 days; how the huge things become solidifying things and the small things become the important ones as time goes on. You have a lovely family and your "motherly efforts" will be what they remember in the future.

My best wishes to you and your family. Thought I finally leave a comment after almost two years of following your blog, I want to say it is always so enrichening to read your blog, it's so human, so sensitive, so free. You are an artist that has transformed my life. I discovered your fabric (and Fabric for that matter) only two years ago and yours is always so inspiring and beautiful and surprising. It keeps me wanting to do more beautiful things, creating and growing not only as an artist but also as a person.So Thank you so very much for sharing, sharing, sharing and creating...creating...creating ♥My best to you for 2011Susana

so many of us must find ourselves in your words, in your feelings...that is so great to "know" you !! In fact, you make so many people's life becoming beautiful by your thoughts, your colors, your fabrics...Thank you and Happy New year to you and all the people you love !!!

I remember when you wrote this last year; something about nursing while on the toilet and talking your mad son down out of a tree? Same son who busted himself up? I love your writing. Keep it real, Ms. Horner! That's what I love!

What a very full year 2010 was. Please know how wonderfully you have touched my life with your wonderful creations and the lives of many many others.I too sent my girl off to college and survived. Thank god for skype huh?Here's wishing you a fantastic 2011 and I hope your boy mends quickly.sincerely,Valarie

Hello Anna Maria, I wish you a good New Jear and a lot of new Ideas for you! On my Sise you can win 3 Felting Roses , if you like -make a comment.http://matta-made.blogspot.com/ with best wishes for you an d your Family, Matta

Happy New Year! I love your blog for inspiration - just recently finished cutting my first ever quilt (your folk dance pattern), and would love to know about the embroidered piece in the photo accompanying this post. I would Love to do that, and think it might even be feasible in my sewing-machine-less state. Yes? Any info would be greatly appreciated.

My only advice is that when Juliana leaves for New York again, let yourself feel a little sad -- because you will - It was like a hole in me again when my daughter went back to school that second semester-- I didn't think it would happen again but it did and I wasn't prepared for it to be as bad as the first time (and she was only at a school 20 minutes from home, it may as well have been New York).

So enjoy the rest of your flock when she goes it gets better each time ; )P.

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