Slice of Life 2013

Work right now. The ideas aren’t there and the words feel like pulling teeth.

No, that’s not quite true. I have things I want to say but feel like I can’tshouldn’t say them. Why? Well, who might read them? What will they think? Do I really want to put it out there?

I guess what’s really on my mind is the sad reality that “testing season” has begun in earnest at our school. Last week, our students took a three-hour test to predict how they will do on the test next month. Our End of Grade (EOG) Test in reading is one month from today. Four short weeks to get it all done, to make sure my students have mastered the CCSS.

Recently, we got to see a “released” version of the new test. It looks somewhat similar to our old test, with a few updated question stems (to align with CCSS), but mostly the change is noted in the length. On our 7th grade test, there were at least three passages that were over three pages long (front and back). Any language arts teacher worth her salt can tell you that a struggling reader will take one look at that and crumble. We’ve all seen it before. No surprises here. But the sheer length of the test is worrisome to most of us. We know that struggling readers, even if they can read the passage and answer the questions correctly, will see those LONG pages of dense text and they will shut down. Since it is a new test and norming will need to be done, these students will not have to suffer through re-takes. We don’t anticipate scores until sometime in October. (Something to look forward to!)

No, the kids will be okay regardless. We tell them they must pass the test, but we don’t really mean it. They will move on to the next grade level as planned. Everyone knows that the real accountability does not rest with the students.

But this is not true for the teachers. In my state, accountability is almost exclusively for teachers. Seems that our legislators have been extra busy this week ensuring that those of us who don’t make the cut, whose test scores are not superior, will lose our tenure. I heard that it was an almost unanimous vote against teacher tenure. Really? There are that many bad teachers in our state? The state that boasts the highest number of National Board Certified teachers? Oh, and speaking of NBCT’s, one of the DPI’s recent proposals for salary restructuring suggests dropping Master’s pay and NBCT pay differentials. I am sure that will do wonders for the quality of teaching professionals in our state.

Yesterday we sat through a one-hour training on a computer tracking system that allows the state to determine just how much “accountability” we have for every one of our students. This allows the state to determine our “teacher effectiveness rating” which is now a permanent part of our performance reviews. Right now my “teacher effectiveness rating” shows a big RED box: INEFFECTIVE. This rating was the result of a combination of my students’ scores and the entire school’s rating. Our school as a whole did not meet “expected growth” and that pushed everyone in our building into the “ineffective” column.

Most of the time I try to stay above all of the craziness going around in education circles in our state and our country. I know why I teach and I try to be the best teacher I can be for my students. But as testing looms in our not too distant future, the pressure can’t be denied. Talking with my colleagues, I see the worry on their faces; I overhear the conversations where their very real fear can’t be missed. It makes me so sad.

This is not the way it’s supposed to be. We say it can’t last, that everything in education swings on a pendulum and sooner or later things will swing back in our favor.

I’m participating in the March Slice of Life Challenge, hosted by Stacey Shubitz and Ruth Ayres at Two Writing Teachers.

*Warning: This post contains content of sensitive nature. Read at your own risk.*

I hate tight clothes.

I mean, I really hate them. I have never been one to pour myself into my clothing just to see how tight I could get away with. No, that’s not me. (Okay, well, I do confess that while I was in college I did have to lie down on my bed to zip my Calvin Klein jeans…but that was in college. Does that still count?)

I am a woman of comfort. Give me loose clothing or give me death!

If I had my druthers, I would be in sweat pants, sweatshirts, and sneakers 24/7. That’s me. Not glamorous, sexy, or fashionable.

Comfortable.

Of course I can’t dress like that for school so I do dress professionally, but even those clothes have “give” and don’t constrict my movement.

Usually.

Today was one of those days.

The dreaded “Tight Pants Day.” Everybody has them. No one likes them. Ugh!

I knew when I put them on, it would be a tortuous day of uncomfortableness, coupled with self-loathing, recrimination, and doubt.

I was right.

Don’t you just hate tight pants days?

Now, I am a woman of a “certain age” and I am coming to terms with this lovely stage of life. Raging hormones, insomnia, mood swings, irritability…this I have come to know intimately.

But I draw the line at tight pants.

These pants were not tight last week when I wore them. Could I have gotten that much fatter in one week? Really?