Im Not a Good Person At All!

I have been wanting to do something for over a year, haven`t done it because am too terrified. If i do it, im almost sure it might ruin my life because of something called karma. but if i don`t i don`t think i will ever be happy. If i do it, i am going to hurt too many people i love, yet i will be relieved, that`s why im scared it`s gonna come back at me. I have already experienced karma, i have paid for what i have done.

I have reading your experience and i agree with you! I usually read about Karma and many people are afraid to take an action because their heart stop this action. However in a situation of very old using instinct to do an action but it must be said there is a danger in this, because the instinct is a reflex action of your soul! I read a book on the soul and gave me a tremendous inner strenght to face all situation, even those that seem more complicated!<br />Regards.

For all intensive purposes I appear to be a nice enough person. I smile at people, I show interest in their lives and pay attention to what they say. In my line of work I have to be nice to strangers all day long no matter how bad I am feeling myself. But my internal dialogue is...

Sometimes i hold the knife in my hands while doing things like cutting onions, and i feel like taking it and putting it away.
Hold that thought.
Is that normal? My hope is that someone else will pick out the knife and the onion smell will make thier eyes water.

But i keep trying to get better. I'm hoping to live long enough to work out all the kinks and knots. I figure, by the time i am 120 years old i just might be halfway decent.
Meanwhile, I struggle along. Trying my best to be kind and loving. Maybe people will begin to think I am...