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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

Preamble

IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

Introduction

WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

Manifesto Demands

THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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November 18, 2008

Thank You Bengals Fans: Billboards Will be Up for 2 months!

Well, we did it. 231 Bengals heroes donated a total of $4,560 to keep these billboards up through the regular season and into the post-season. We are already talking to the billboard company to move them to better locations next month. Thank you to everyone who donated and talked to their friends, family and colleagues about Project Mayhem. Click here for a full report of the press that the billboards received.

Nothing new, but I suspect it would not be that difficult to organize. Get as many people as possible to where grocery bags on their heads to signify the solidarity and oneness of the revolution.

WDR representatives can submitt pictures of themselves at the games and the best decorated grocery bag gets a free t-shirt. Maybe by the end of the season the entire stadium is filled with WDR reps and they cant get around televising the revolution.

This is sort of a piggyback off of the previous comment. But instead of bags on heads, what if you had everyone stand with there back to the field. What would be even better if you took donations, and printed t-shirts with WhoDeyRevolution.com on the back, and gave/sell them before the last regular season home game. This ensures yourself plenty of time to prepare.

What about getting signs on the busses that tailgate. They are stored all over the city, drive around everywhere on Sunday's. I would be willing to put it on my bus.

Those automated phone calls I got during the election were pretty annoying. We could have those dial out to certain areas.

You could also do a contest of some sorts. Get people to send in pictures while wearing the t-shirts... Like in Mikes presence. Or any Bengal player presence. Those images will get some run on the net.

A real eye-opener for Brown would be if you and your comrades filed a class-action lawsuit against him accusing him of emotional damage, false advertising, faulty product, whatever. SURELY you could find a lawyer who doubles as a Bengals fan.

Idea 1: Spread the Word
How about making up yard signs, like the millions that were out for the election, with Hire a General Manager (Or Join the Revolution) on them and passing them out (or selling them) to people leaving the stadium. And/Or organize a late night raid on Mike Brown's house and plant @ 300 of them in his yard.

Idea 2: Show Mike Brown
Hand out colored panels to a few sections of seats facing MB's box that spell out Hire A GM when held up at the same time and have someone orchestrate it several times during the game. (Although getting all of those into the stadium could pose a problem)

Idea 3: Make him aware
Start a petition. The signers will promise not to purchase season tickets next year and years to come or any concessions or merchandise this year until a GM is hired. Mail it to Mike Brown to show him how many people are serious about this.

Idea 4: Reduce TV Profits
I have no clue how to accomplish this idea. It is difficult to reduce MBs profits. You have to be a retarded monkey to not make money on an NFL team. However, a good portion of profit comes from TV coverage. If there was some way to get that taken away, he would surely feel it in his pocket book. That would suck for people like me who watch the game on TV, but you can always listen to Dave and Lap on 700.

Idea 5: Reduce Parking Profits
Park at Newport and walk across the bridge. Get some of the tailgaiter buses to run a shuttle from a parking lot that MB does not control.

Well it is clear to me, that in the spirit of revolution, you need to take Mike’s money. I recommend going big with merchandise. And I me an f*cking big. Institute and patent the answer to the terrible towel, "the big bad Bengal banner” only sell it through The Revolution, and make Mike wish it was his idea. Create a whole “Bungle Line” of clothing…Sell the Ocho Stinko Jersey like tee-shirt next to a Douchmandzadeh jersey.

I agree with Joe about the possibility of filing a lawsuit. Was there not a promise made to Hamilton County tax payers that if they help pay to build a new stadium, Mike will supply a competitive team? Sounds like a breach of contract case to me. But didn't the county already file a lawsuit? Whatever happened there?

MAYHEM IDEA:
Have a fundraiser to make thousands of stickers that say "Mike Brown Flush It Down" and hand them out to fans entering the stadium. Try to get every seat in the house to have an anti Mike Brown sticker on it.

3. T-shirt: "Project Mayhem, Spread the Word" printed on one side, with "[numbered list of Project Mayhem's goals]" on the reverse side

4. T-shirt design, "WDR Revolutionaries": three fans/revolutionaries on the front, wearing orange and black, and wearing three cornered hats, one playing a flute, one playing drums, and one holding a WDR flag...print the phrase,

"NO MORE TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION" on the front and/or the back

I had enough last year, I am no longer going to support the Bengals -30 years is enough. When Mike Brown dies, which we all hope will be sooner than later or he sells the team to a competant owner. I will be back. A good GM is not enough, he needs to leave the team alone and go spend daddy's money like a good spoiled brat. The only way to make it change is to quit giving them our hard earned money. Screw em'.

My only idea for "Progect Mayhem" would be to simply get volunteers for the cause to set up tables at local grocery stores and malls around the area and get as many signatures as possible to sign a document basically saying that the community is tired of having the city's name and team ran through the mud by an incompetant individual who is more focused on the bottom line than the greater good.The ideal would be to get a decent percentage of the city to sign it. I live in NC and all I hear is laughter when I claim Cincinnati as my home. I'm tired of my home being a laughingstock.