Album: Cheryl, A Million Lights (Polydor)

Fresh from shamelessly photobombing the Queen at the Jubilee concert, Britain's most popular glossy-haired cipher of everything and nothing is back with a second solo album on which you can almost literally hear an international cast of producers and writers shrugging, "Will this do?"

Cheryl would love us to think she has an edgy side. That's why the opening track repeats the phrase "go down on me", in case we didn't get the innuendo first time round.

But it's utterly unconvincing. An album with nothing to recommend it whatsoever, A Million Lights is R&B without the R or the B. The fact is that even 21st-century Madonna has made better albums than this. An empty CD case drew up, and the new Cheryl Cole album got out. Simon Price