Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Some More Info...

So I know I kind of sprung that whole "we're having a baby!" thing on you, and now I think it's time to give you some more information about it, don't you?

SO...here goes.

I am about 9 weeks along, which means yes, I broke a cardinal rule of first trimester pregnancy and spilled the beans before three months was over. I really was going to try to wait to tell all of you, but the farther I progressed into the routine of morning sickness and all day fatigue. (This also explains the overall feeling of "blahness" I was describing earlier this month. As completely thrilled as we are that we are going to have a baby, the hormones are UNBELIEVABLE and I now have the ability to cry at the drop of a hat.)

As you know, we were not planning this pregnancy, so the two pink lines came as a complete shock to me. Somehow Matt knew before I did, and he was the one that convinced me to take the darned test. I figured with the stress of moving and just life in general I was just late, but NO SIRREE!

At about 5 weeks along I got cocky and may have actually muttered "Hmph, pregnancy is EASY." Then, as fate would have it, I began to actually experience REAL pregnancy symptoms. The all day nausea, the gagging, the throwing up on my toothbrush, the incredible fatigue, and have I mentioned my boobs yet? Whoa, I don't know what to do with these things! Never had this problem before.

So yeah...that's about where we stand. My first ultrasound is next Monday, which will be at about 10 weeks along, so we should be able to see our baby pretty clearly! We are both incredibly excited and also incredibly scared. It's just hard to know that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to take care of this new life, there is a chance that it will not live. The thought plagues my dreams and my thoughts. I am trying very hard to give it to God, to put our baby in his hands, but it's so hard. I don't want to end this post on a sad note, but I do want to be honest with all of you, and the honest truth is that I am petrified. So, my friends, I am asking for your prayers.

Thank you all for your sweet words of congratulations! Matt and I had fun reading what each of you had to say, your excitement helps me feel a little less anxious. Thank you!

20 comments:

My prayers are coming right up! I am sending you lots of healthy energy for that little baby in your belly. I had the same fears in the beginning (and well...sometimes the fears pop back up! LOL But that makes us Mommies,I guess, cuz we will always worry!) but it does get easier!

How exciting! Congrats! Just think, this ought to give you a new journey to blog about! ;)I was just having dinner with my friend and her husband last night and they told me their dog knew she was pregnant before they did! I guess he was just clinging to my friend, always wanted to be near her. It was like she sensed something was going on (hormonal changes, maybe?) Cool, huh?

Oh Bekah, take it from a old lady...well, at least LOTS of years older than you and my youngest is 22...so I have experience!

Those feelings are totally normal. Really. After monday and you have your ultra sound, take a deep cleansing breath and know all is well....you could do that now....but I know you will feel better then.

Remember....babies will not break, bend, or fall apart! You and Matt will be wonderful parents...you will not have near the troubles you are fearing.

After all, I have two adult children and they survived my skills...which were none!

And by the way....rest. get some fresh air. rest. This feeling you are having will pass....hopefully. Praying for you to feel better soon and peace of mind. Love ya'

Of course you know my story and I 100% know the fear you are experiencing. No one can full know because it is yours! Just know that God knows the desires of your heart and he wants to give them to you! He loves this child more than even you could! Can you imagine that?? You are in my prayers every night my dear sister! I love you so much!

You're already a mommy, you know? Those feelings are so incredibly natural, and I think from the moment we know we're expecting a child, the whole Momma Bear instinct kicks in and we want nothing at all but the best for our child, even before we've had the incredible honor of holding them in our arms. You, Matt, and your baby are in my prayers!

Well, just gettin' to know you thru the blog, tells me you are a worry wart by nature. Try not to stress to much but I know you will. Enjoy the beauties of pregnancy. HAHAHA! Whatever, that's why I don't have kids. I tried to keep a straight face with that beauty statement, just couldn't do it! :o)

You and your family will be in our prayers. As I said before, nothing happens without a reason. I have to believe that or I would go nuts. God doesn't let you in on His plan, but He usually knows what He is doing! :) All my love!