FROM DR. BRIAN HOOPERM.Div., Psy.D.When You’ve Said “I Do,” And Now You Need to Say, “I Don’t” If you are a gay man who married a woman, you most likely did so because you loved her, believed you were doing the “right thing,” and thought that your attraction to men would just go away or somehow not matter, if you even consciously acknowledged it in the first place.

But, in the paraphrased wisdom of Carl Jung, father of analytical psychotherapy, “What we resist persists.” And eventually the walls of compartmentalization grow thin, deteriorate, and the two selves must meet and figure out how to work together. Not to integrate the two sends the energetic struggle underground and that results is dis-integration (a pulling apart the sense of who we are at our core) that manifests in anxiety, depression, and behavior such as intentional deception, alcohol and substance abuse, indiscriminate and dangerous sexual behavior, self-sabotage, and estrangement from one’s wife often prompted by a combination of withdrawal and blaming her for the husband’s dilemma. So, what to do if this is your situation?