Tips to Cope with Trust Issues

by Calvin Gray - Last updated May 11, 2017

Trust is a crucial component of any good relationship. In order to feel secure in our most intimate relationships, we need to feel that we can count on our partners to keep their promises and hold up their end of the bargain. Trust is something that cannot be negotiated or decided upon it is either there or it is not. It is built over time and is based on the existence of direct evidence to support it.

If you have been in a relationship for three years and your partner has never done anything to indicate that he is untrustworthy, it only makes sense that you would trust him. On the other side of that coin, once a partner does something to undermine your trust it will be difficult to ever fully trust him again.

Building trust in a relationship is a slow process, but there are things that can be done to facilitate mutual trust and deepen the bonds of your relationship. Below I have included a few helpful methods for building a strong, trusting relationship.

1) Don’t forget about the little things: When it comes to trust we tend to focus on the big issues like fidelity, but the little things are important as well. Following through on even your most insignificant promises can deepen the trust in your relationship, as it demonstrates a pattern of you doing what you say you are going to do. This could be applied to even the simplest things like emptying the dishwasher or watering the plants.

2) Give a little to get a little: The more you demonstrate to your partner that you trust him, the stronger the trust between you will be on both ends. When your partner knows you trust him implicitly he will want to reciprocate the sentiment, as it will lead to a more satisfying relationship for both of you. Make expressing your trust in your partner something you do whenever the opportunity arises.

3) When trust comes into question, address the issue right away: It is only natural that situations will arise that make you question the trust you have in your partner. Instead of letting these doubts ruminate beneath the surface, initiate a dialogue with your partner to discuss your feelings and address any insecurities that the situation may be bringing up for you. When such issues are dealt with right away it is much less likely that they will fester into more significant problems.

4) You must trust yourself: Sometimes trusting ourselves can be a barrier to trusting our partners. It is difficult to trust another person when you don’t trust yourself. Perhaps you have violated the trust of another in the past, or have violating your trust in yourself. In situations like this you must first regain your own trust. Start by making and keeping small promises to yourself; then move on to bigger promises. Make it a point to never let yourself down, and over time you will learn to trust yourself and to trust others.