When the Victim is Male

Remember, you are not the only man who is a victim of domestic violence

For stories of other abused men, ways to cope, and what to do: http://www.menweb.org/battered/gjdvstor.htm

Record all incidents of violence

Talk to your family and friends, make them aware of the situation

Call the Domestic Abuse Helpline (1-888-743-5754) or any local domestic violence agency

Protection Order

Reasons to obtain one:

Abuser cannot be in a certain range of you

Must leave a location (such as restaurant, grocery store, your place of employment, etc) if you are there, regardless of if he was there first

Abuser is not allowed to call or make contact

Abuser cannot contact you through a third party

If abuser violates no contact order, call the police and he/she can be arrested

What to do if you have Pets

If you leave, take your pet's license(s), proof of vaccinations, veterinarian receipts

Talk to neighbors or relatives to see if you can leave pets with them

Crossroads Safehouse has a program called Crosstrails that can provide emergency shelter for pets of victims staying a Crossroads Safehouse (970-482-3502)

Check into kennels for your pets if needed

Example Safety Plan

(A safety plan does not guarantee anyone's safety; the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence is when he/she decides to leave to abuser.)

Where can I go in case a fight starts?

What is the safest room for me?

What is the safest room for my kids?

Develop a safety word with your kids, inform other people of the safety word, in case you need assistance from others during a situation

Decide on a safe place with your kids in case a fight occurs, so they can leave the situation and you will know where to find them. Tell them not to tell anyone where the safe place is.

Create a survival kit, include money, including change in case you need to use a pay phone to call for help, all important documents such as medical and financial documents, any important toys that belong to your children and help them feel safe, extra sets of keys, medications, possibly extra clothes.

Figure out where you can hide important documents in case you leave, such a safe deposit box at your bank or at a close friend or relatives house who can protect the items. You may even want to think about leaving a survival kit there.

Determine which calls you will make if you leave, such as numbers for shelters.

If you have a pet, decide if you will take the pet and where you can go if you do.

Inform others of the situation.

If you leave, determine if you want a protection order against abuser or if you want to press charges.

If the abuser follows you in your car after leaving, determine where you will go, such as a police department or hospital. Do not drive to the location you were initially intending to go to.

If you leave and have children, let the school or day care know about the situation and tell them who has permission to pick your child up from those places.