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On Guus, Chelsea, and the USMNT

Guus is doing his best to get into heaven. His two footed tackle later didn't help.

Tuesday evening, the USMNT made up for their poor performance against Panama in a way. They got the three points they needed to advance securely into the quarterfinals. It wasn’t done in style. The United States missed chance after chance at the heads and feet of Landon Donovan and main offender Clint Dempsey. The team was finally getting in front of goal but couldn’t finish. The finishes have to be there against a difficult Jamaica team which won every one of their group matches. Jamaica was eviscerated at the hands of the Americans during World Cup qualification a good year and a half back, but in football, records and history mean nothing. Ask Arsenal.

I’m very excited about this match only because I can see the United States turning it on for the bigger occasion. When their backs are against the wall or the pressure is on, the United States are a more formidable team. Also, it seems like the United States have a decent Gold Cup 2011 against teams that weren’t formerly Spanish colonies. Our record against non-Spanish-speaking teams is 2-0-0, so far. We’ve only lost to Spanish-speakers. This sort of statistical analysis is what you come here for. I just hope we don’t get Mexico until the final. They speak Spanish like nobody’s business. I’m confident we’ll win Sunday afternoon, but I’m not counting my Jamaican Jerk chickens just yet. Bob Bradley still needs to get the guys ready for this match mentally and tactically. I’m not entirely confident he can. We’ll see.

It seems as though Chelsea have all but sent their fleet of helicopter/terrorhawks to snatch up Guus Hiddink from the Turkish FA. Despite the Lord of the Rings-esque threat from the TFA’s president that no one simply just leaves Turkey, Guus is most likely simply leaving Turkey and rushing into the grateful arms of Chelsea supporters. He shouldn’t have left in the first place. This is great news for supporters. He did well replacing Scolari and brought us more trophies than Arsenal have won/thrown away in the past 5 years. He has the vision and ability to rebuild our aging squad and get things turned around.

Uncle Roman already has a housewarming present for Guus by the name of Luka Modric. Chelsea have reportedly put in a £22m bid for the Croatian. Spurs rejected it, but I’m sure the war chest is full enough for us to nick Lukinho away from Three Point Lane.

It also seems like the Neymar deal might be falling through again for the second summer window in a row. I feel this is pretty great for the player himself and the club. Chelsea are a bit striker-heavy at the moment, and I don’t se Neymar doing that well in the rough and stuff EPL. If we lose Drogba and Sturridge, this might be change things. We’re for sure losing Anelka. #2008MoscowFinal #neverforget

There are other reports that Chelsea are looking to swap Ramires and cash for Wesley Sneijder. Okay. Cool. We just bought him, but whatever. It would be awful if we lost both Mikel and Ramires, maybe even Essien. We’d lose that crucial midfield enforcer and proper cover for the back line. However, a midfield of Sneijder, Lampard, and Modric would be insane. You got yourself a stew going there, baby. Although, I’m sure if Chelsea even got those players to sign, we wouldn’t ever play all the three at the same time…

More desperately than midfield creativity we need options on the right wing. I hope we can get Alexis Sanchez. I hope we can also snag up Van der Weil. We need help out there desperately. Funnily enough, a few years ago our problem was the lack of a competent left winger. Now the problem has shifted, and there are plenty of options to pick up and plenty of summer for things to get fixed. I’m just hoping that it all works out.

Hopes and expectations are all I have right now. It’s been a hard year for me in the football world. Since the World Cup my national team and club have disappointed greatly. It’s time to turn things around!