The Peanut Butter That Launched a $5 Million Lawsuit

While it strikes us as idiotic to even think the word "explosive" in the presence of LaGuardia Airport's TSA contingent, this story by The Daily News — about a man suing because TSA believed his 16-ounce jar of Crazy Richard's peanut butter was a liquid bomb — has other problems. Here's what happened:

Frank Hannibal claims in a complaint filed in Brooklyn Federal Court that he wound up in the sticky situation when the screener noticed the layer of oil atop his gourmet peanut butter — and ordered him out of the line.

The TSA worker, identified in the papers as Edwin Sanchez, overheard Hannibal, apparently didn't get the joke — and called the cops.

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Let's ignore the fact that a layer of oil is actually supposed to be there and focus on the notion that Hannibal went through 25 hours in the slammer and is now bringing a $5-million-dollar lawsuit against the TSA over a peanut butter that cost him $6.99.

Basically, it's the perfect peanut butter, engineered to precision and accompanied by scientific documentation by the National Institute of Standards and Technology, an agency of the U.S. Department of Commerce. NIST apparently does exactly what its name says: create standards for common food products like peanut butter, ferrous and nonferrous metals, primary gas mixtures, and other nebulous science-speaky categories. For some reason, they have peanut butter, too, and it sells for about $220 for a 6-ounce jar, creamy.