So I just started homeschooling my 13 year old (her choice) and am actually finding it to be such a natural thing (I think I was made for this). I love it. She loves it. I love having her home, knowing she is eating healthier, getting more rest, away from negativity (there was so much negativity at the public school she attended...from the teachers to the students), and actually getting an opportunity to learn without anything distracting her. I just know in my heart that it is the best thing for her...but (of course there is a but ):) I worry because there is not very much support for homeschooled kids and parents around here. I can't find any groups close by and not to mention that there is a stigma that goes along with being homeschooled (because people are really ignorant...sorry I just had to say that...and of course I don't care because I can see how much better she will be doing.) but... I'm not necessarily sure how she will be able to socialize and just be her age. I do have 6 kids...and only homeschool her. Four go to public school and the youngest is 1. So she does get to socialize with her 17 yo sister and 15 yo brother. I still don't think that is enough. The friends she does have (from public school) really are very negative (maybe the age? maybe the culture) Anyways, how important is the socializing? Or am I panicking for nothing?

Replies

I've been homeschooling for years (oldest is 21 and in his last semester at college, youngest is 7, and I have a 12 and a 14 year old, too). If you mean by "socializing" that she has the opportunity to meet people, particularly people her own age, then I will tell you that it does require more effort, not a lot, but some, to meet the numbers of people needed to make new friends. What I do with my kids is have a lot of after-school group classes/activities. So, for example, my daughter is currently involved with crew and in the past she's done gymnastics and martial arts. My kids go to a Spanish and a Japanese school. They do religious school, etc. I have them in a science class at the local children's museum. You don't have to limit yourself to just home schooled kids or home school groups.

It also requires a bit more effort on the part of the child to get phone numbers and make calls to arrange to meet.

If she's still seeing her friends from public school, that still counts as socializing -- but is it that you are worried that she won't be seeing her friends, or is it that you want her to make some new friends because of the negativity?

This is our first year too. My girls are 9 & 12. They play together, with the very sweet boy down the street (he's 12), and we do things with the park district or go to museums about twice a month.

I don't worry about the socializing aspect because we see all kinds of people (at the library, grocery, etc.). My girls are polite and can hold a good conversation on all sorts of topics with all ages of people.

Our local libraries have reading clubs and other things, especially for teenagers, so I may seek those specific programs as they grow older.

Thank you for the replies. We live in a rural area that doesn't really have very many after school activities, and doesn't really have a library. We have been driving the 40 miles to the nearest library of course =) I have been asking if there are any homeschooling groups that meet (40 miles away) and so far nothing. I am planning on taking her to swim lessons and hopefully they will allow her to volunteer at a rescue shelter for horses (she loves horses) but she will be spending alot more time with adults. There just really isn't very much to do around here or a lot of support. And yes I do want her to make new friends...that would be nice.

We went to an actual homeschool program at the library for three months (monthly meeting). It was just like school though, with the librarians talking and the children not getting to interact. It defeated the whole purpose that we were going for, so we've switched to poetry, book club, and craft type programs that are for all the children (hs & ps).

Yahoo Groups has a local hs one for us. We've gone to a few things. That may be something available.

Our children "socialized" with each other and the family. That was pretty well it. We did everything together. All but the youngest is now grown (ages 33 down to 16), are married and have good jobs so it sure didn't hurt them any. lol

Okay, what about having her in a live on-line class? You might not be able to do this until next fall, but my 14-year-old and my 12-year-old are both in online classes, and they do e-mail and Skype with the other students. My daughter does a literature class with Captive Thought Tutorials (excellent teacher -- Christian oriented, but welcoming to us as Jews). Our son does a Writing class and a Chemistry class (and he tends to Skype with some people in Russia -- long story). Obviously, it's not the same as having someone there live, but it still counts as "socializing" in my book.

Quoting butterfly641:

Thank you for the replies. We live in a rural area that doesn't really have very many after school activities, and doesn't really have a library. We have been driving the 40 miles to the nearest library of course =) I have been asking if there are any homeschooling groups that meet (40 miles away) and so far nothing. I am planning on taking her to swim lessons and hopefully they will allow her to volunteer at a rescue shelter for horses (she loves horses) but she will be spending alot more time with adults. There just really isn't very much to do around here or a lot of support. And yes I do want her to make new friends...that would be nice.

...and they will be much better social interactions based on the proper things - like personality, interests, and the like.

Quoting JKronrod:

I've been homeschooling for years (oldest is 21 and in his last semester at college, youngest is 7, and I have a 12 and a 14 year old, too). If you mean by "socializing" that she has the opportunity to meet people, particularly people her own age, then I will tell you that it does require more effort, not a lot, but some, to meet the numbers of people needed to make new friends. What I do with my kids is have a lot of after-school group classes/activities. So, for example, my daughter is currently involved with crew and in the past she's done gymnastics and martial arts. My kids go to a Spanish and a Japanese school. They do religious school, etc. I have them in a science class at the local children's museum. You don't have to limit yourself to just home schooled kids or home school groups.

It also requires a bit more effort on the part of the child to get phone numbers and make calls to arrange to meet.

If she's still seeing her friends from public school, that still counts as socializing -- but is it that you are worried that she won't be seeing her friends, or is it that you want her to make some new friends because of the negativity?

That does sound a little more challenging. You seem to have come up with some fantastic ideas though. There doesnt need to be exorbinate amounts of time spent socializing - just a reasonable amount. Quality over quantity.

Quoting butterfly641:

Thank you for the replies. We live in a rural area that doesn't really have very many after school activities, and doesn't really have a library. We have been driving the 40 miles to the nearest library of course =) I have been asking if there are any homeschooling groups that meet (40 miles away) and so far nothing. I am planning on taking her to swim lessons and hopefully they will allow her to volunteer at a rescue shelter for horses (she loves horses) but she will be spending alot more time with adults. There just really isn't very much to do around here or a lot of support. And yes I do want her to make new friends...that would be nice.

Thank you for the replies. We live in a rural area that doesn't really have very many after school activities, and doesn't really have a library. We have been driving the 40 miles to the nearest library of course =) I have been asking if there are any homeschooling groups that meet (40 miles away) and so far nothing. I am planning on taking her to swim lessons and hopefully they will allow her to volunteer at a rescue shelter for horses (she loves horses) but she will be spending alot more time with adults. There just really isn't very much to do around here or a lot of support. And yes I do want her to make new friends...that would be nice.

Personally I think it depends on your family how much is needed. I live very rural and only have two children. We are very social family. I drive a lot. I make sure I have two to three days at home. We do karate, 3 co-ops. I group our travel together when possible. I drive an hour to many of our events. My kids listen to audio books and spend the time creating stories with each other. Their stories they come up with are amazing. Honestly if I had to travel I would. I would talk to your daughter and see how she feels. One of the reasons I began homeschooling was for my sons to have more experiences than I had. They love all our weekly events. My boys and I love traveling. We have met so many wonderful people. Staying home all the time would drive me nuts. I need the socializing time as much as they do. Every family has their own balance.