Search This Blog

Baby, and adoption

This baby has been awake for like an hour. She has become so wiggly! We had some tummy time and she kicked and wiggled her little heart out - so cute!

Last night, out of the blue, D asked "If you guys adopt us, would our last name be (our last name)?" I don't think either of us knew what to say. Adoption has not even been anything that has been discussed in front of D at all, and the parental rights are not in danger of being terminated any time soon I don't think, as the kids have only been in foster care for...let's see 8, almost 9 months? Normally they have to be in care at least 15 before the state would consider termination. Anyway we kind of played it off, my husband said that maybe we could just tack our last name on to the end, and since Y and C already have hyphenated last names they would have three last names and it would be funny.

Then later that night I was cutting up raw meat for our dogs (they are on a raw diet), and D was begging me to give him a piece as we do not have "real" meat at our house...apparently chicken, ground beef, and fish are not "real" meats. Anyway I told him no, and then he said jokingly, "I don't want you guys to adopt us because you torture us!" since the meat looked so good and he wanted some.

It's all just very out-of-the-blue. His mom did cancel the visit yesterday for whatever reason...We had been told a few days ago that if she can go a month without missing then they will go to monitored visits instead of supervised. So I assume her month will have to start over now. I wish D would tell us what is going on in his head. He is a smart kid and I think he is picking up on the fact that the case is not really moving along at all.

Also the Service Coordinator (who is going to be the new caseworker effective January 1, unless something in the legislation changes) called me because he had to write a court report for the court date in December. He asked about all of the boys and if they tell me their feelings and stuff. I mentioned what C said the other day about how he didn't like his mommy and didn't want to go see her. Then I also said it was the first time he had said that, and that he hasn't been crying as much when it's time to go on visits. The SC said "Ok, I will put that he is adjusting well to going on visits". Oh, ok, just go ahead and skip over that OTHER INFORMATION I JUST GAVE YOU!

I hope the whole January 1 change does not happen. The current CW, who is employed by the state, has been working with this family for years. The SC, aside from not really having a clue about what is going on and who does what, has only been assigned to this case since September. BIG difference. Also, I dont' think he likes me. He also seems to be very pro-reunification, which I get it that that is the ultimate goal - but it should not be the goal at the expense of everything else. He is seeing only the good things and seems to ignore the bad things. But, you know, whatever I guess. Just have to wait and see what happens I suppose.

Last night since the visit got canceled I had to do an impromptu dinner, since hubby and I were just planning on leftovers but wouldn't have enough to feed the whole family. So I made cornbread from scratch, mashed potatoes, and fried fish. And in the middle of cooking dinner I fed the baby. My husband mashed the potatoes but I peeled them and cut them up and did everything else myself. So I felt pretty accomplished and a little bit like super mom, I'm not gonna lie. I burned the fish a little bit but it was still good. And all the boys ate it, and that's saying something! :)

My sister is home from Japan! Hoping to see her sometime in the very near future. :)

Get link

Facebook

Twitter

Pinterest

Google+

Email

Comments

"I hope the whole January 1 change does not happen. The current CW, who is employed by the state, has been working with this family for years. The SC, aside from not really having a clue about what is going on and who does what, has only been assigned to this case since September. BIG difference. Also, I dont' think he likes me. He also seems to be very pro-reunification, which I get it that that is the ultimate goal - but it should not be the goal at the expense of everything else. He is seeing only the good things and seems to ignore the bad things. But, you know, whatever I guess. Just have to wait and see what happens I suppose."

Um, ditto!! Our caseworker has been on our boys' case for a year and clearly cares about them...our service coordinator of 4 months has yet to even MEET them (yes, she is "required" to see them once a month!) "wait and see" is NOT my strong point...some days I can't believe I put myself into a situation where I have NO control, and I did it on purpose! I am praying for a judge that can see what my husband and I can see so clearly about this case...but like you say, wait and see. Congrats on the cooking, that is something to be proud of!--Sadie

Yeah, the first two or three SC's we had never even came to met the kids. Every few weeks I would get an email from our Cedars worker saying "Here is the contact info for the new SC." Our current one called me a few weeks after being assigned to this case and apologized for taking so long to call. I told him "it's ok, we haven't heard from any of the other ones either!"

I am trying to catch up a little and reading several updates today. First of all, I think you are doing a great job with the kids. 2nd, I hope you are asking your other visitors to bring stuff for Thanksgiving--that's crazy to do by yourself. 3rd, I know you are torn about the baby, but I worry about you burning yourself out and giving too much. That sound weird, but everyone has limits. I know others have more kids than that, but 3 under 3 is more than a handful. Be sure to keep finding B time!

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's been a year since I last wrote. So much has happened! Way too much to put here, but suffice to say it has been crazy. Our oldest has headed off to boot camp for the Marines, he'll be in the reserves. The other kids are 9, 7, 6, 4, 2.

Maybe I'll have time to catch up on stuff later, though I'm feeling a little weird about posting too much online. It's scary out there in the internets!

I'm writing because our journey in Foster Care Land might not be over, like we sort of thought that it was! Let me explain.

In January 2016 hubby's brother and brother's girlfriend had their son taken into foster care. They didn't tell anyone, and their son was with a foster parent (a stranger, no one in the family) for 3 months until hubby's mom found out. She contacted the state and was able to be the foster parent for the little boy. Brother and his girlfriend got straightened out, and got him back about 9 months later.

So I took the three older boys to get their eyes checked. Cassius already had glasses, but only needed to wear them at school. He kept them in the case in his backpack. A few weeks before the last day of school he said "Mommy, when are you going to fix my glasses?" Ah, well, I guess when you let me know that they are broken, son! They were unsalvageable and by that time it really didn't matter too much anyway. I have no idea how long they were broken before he let me know about them. D lost his glasses, or broke them or...something. He typically looses them within a few weeks of starting the school year. Then since Y will be starting kindergarten this year we got his eyes checked as well. We had an inking he maybe needed some help. Yep, his right eye is 20/100 and his left is 20/400! So he needs to wear glasses all the time. Even with glasses the ophthalmologist said she could only get his vision to 20/30, but obviously that is still much much better.

So I'm sure I mentioned that I sent bio mom a message a few weeks ago just checking in on how she's doing, and I hadn't heard back from her.

Well I finally heard back from her last night. She's in the hospital for her heart and blood pressure, and it's not looking so good. She has struggled with this for a long time, it sounds like it runs in the family. She's still very young, too young to be dealing with this but I guess we don't get to decide what "too young" is. Anyway it sounds like she'll be in the hospital at least for a few more days. And doctors found something else on her liver but aren't sure what it is. She was supposed to find out today but hasn't yet.

She asked me to call her, so I did. She said "You guys are about the only family I have left" meaning people that she actually talks to. :( I was nervous about it because I thought maybe there was a chance of confrontation but it went just fine. She sounded so t…

I am a wife to a wonderful husband, a stay at home mom and homeschool teacher, and a small business owner/employee. Currently living in our home we have 2 dogs, 1 cat, and 5 kids. D is 18 and out on his own, C is 9, Y is 7, Miss M is 6, big surprise Ben (conceived after 5 years of not preventing pregnancy and years after giving up on fertility treatments, then born 11 weeks early) is 4, and our youngest (also a big surprise!) is 2. D, Y and C have been with us since June 2010 and Miss M has been with us since May 2012. Their adoptions were finalized on December 1, 2012 when they left foster care forever!
This blog chronicles our adventures and learning experiences as we endeavor to raise someone else's children (now our own!) to the best of our abilities.