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I am a 24 year old female that has been working on a boys dorm ages 7-17 for almost 9 months now, and I've seen a lot so far. The children I supervise are behaviorally impaired and often emotionally disturbed, while some are court ordered for our drug program. Ask me anything!
Obviously I cannot state which RTC I work for, due to confidentiality.

As a 28 year old who grew up in that kind of system, I only have one request: show them you care, every day, especially if it means "bending" a rule that doesn't really matter in their favor. They will never forget it. Keep up the good work!

Yes! My sense of humor is what gets me through it all. Some of these kids behaviors I can't help but laugh.
Probably what makes me laugh the most is this little 8 year old we have had for awhile now, and he just has the most foul mouth. His favorite line is, "you look like you want to suck some dick" which is just hilarious. However, it's a struggle for me to hide my laughter. We aren't supposed to let them see us laugh, or they consider it positive attention and ultimately we are reinforcing the bad behavior.
But yes, I laugh daily at my job. I try to have fun with the kids the best I can and joke around with them instead of just telling them what to do.
Ultimately, the kids will respect you a lot more and be willing to listen to you if you're real with them.

I teach across the hall from a classroom with E.D. students. One little 12 year old had gone berserk and was being restrained outside by teacher and campus security and administration. He screaming at each of them calling them all the dirty names he could think of. I look out my door to check on the commotion and when I heard the things he was calling them I tried hard to keep my laughter in. The kid then yells at me "Hey, Mr. BulkVanderhuge, I see you fucking smirking over there! You can go fuck yourself!" I pull back into the classroom really quick and burst out laughing in front of my students. I then had to compose myself and apologize to them for my "inappropriate" response to that - but inside it was hilarious.

Years ago, my big brother worked for a time at an inpatient facility. One day, a patient committed suicide -- slashed wrists with a light bulb. The next day, my brother shaved off one side of his mustache before work. I think his being proactive with the silliness helped.

We try to give them structure by providing them with a routine schedule. They are given choices when they sign up for recreational groups (gardening, art, yoga, creative writing) but are expected to commit to that group for 10 weeks.
They are on a full year school program, so they participate in summer school as well as school during the academic year. Our school is on the RTC campus, so none of our kids actually go to public school until they discharge to a foster or group home or the lucky ones go home to their parents/guardians.
They have the same schedule on the dorm each night. Playground/basketball, Dinner at 5 thirty, then phone calls showers and free time ( they can do arts and crafts, watch a movie) until lights out.
We try to keep them busy. When they are engaged in activities we see less challenging behaviors.
Some of these kids have the tools to lead a successful life. It just depends if they want it for themselves. We can encourage good decisions but ultimately it's up to them to figure out what they want out of treatment/guidance.

What sticks to me is the abuse these kids have been through. My facility gets some of the worst child abuse cases in the state. One of the boys I work with was locked in his room for weeks, and only survived because his sister slipped food under the door. This kid was 8 years old and stabbed by his mother. She is in prison now and unfortunately he will bump around the system until he turns 18, and probably will need adult care after that.
This child actually hated me at first, and was very honest about not liking me. He would hit me with his mattress and be very disrespectful to me by intentionally trying to set me off.
After a few months of this treatment he pulled me aside and apologized for his behavior. He said he knew he had issues with women because of the abuse his mother had put him through, and in a way he was just "testing" me to see if I was a good person. I would say this stuck out to me the most. Just the fact that he realized how his abuse affected his life and him taking responsibility for his actions made me realize I was doing something good for these kids, even if it felt far and few in between.

I have some hope for him. However, he was low functioning intellectually due to all the drugs he was exposed to in utero and emotionally stunted from the severe abuse he received as a child.
But I think he could potentially contribute to society in a positive way if he stays on track with his treatment.

How I see it is these kids aren't bad, they have just learned some bad things because they come from bad places. Most of the kids I work with are victims of their parents behavior. It's really rare that we get a child with a completely supportive, well rounded family. It just doesn't happen.

I would have to say both. Many of the children I work with were exposed to crack, meth, and alcohol in the womb, which makes them disadvantaged from the start.
Then on top of that, most of them come from really horrible conditions where they were physically or sexually abused or just plain neglected.

I received my bachelors in psychology and social behavior at university of California at irvine. My job required either a bachelors in psych (or a related field, such as sociology or counseling) OR at least a year experience working with the population.
Basically, what you can expect with a bachelors in my field is staff level work, which is the most exposure to the population in need and often the most emotionally/psychologically overbearing.
I see it as paying my dues before I enter my masters program in social work. Although I enjoy some of the aspects of my job, and genuinely enjoy the company of some of the kids, it can become overwhelming and frustrating being exposed and having to deal with such a wide range of odd behavior, and often aggressive behavior from these kids.

In the 90's I was a clinical director for a large residential program for 7 years. What is the treatment approach today? At that time it was a psychodynamically based relationship centered approach, with a behavioral program.

My facility really tries to use positive behavior al support. We really try to reward the good behaviors when we see it. Each clinician here is different as is each child so the clinicians use an integrative approach to the one on one sessions with the kids, which I am excluded from for confidentiality reasons. That's the best answer I can give.

Humor!! I have to have humor. Last week I got kicked in the crotch pretty bad, but it was more funny than anything.
Sometimes the aggression is really hurtful and can make any of us staff pretty angry. The best thing to do is take a break. I never let the kids see me cry, I always excuse myself to go outside for that.
I would say the aggression was really hard for me to deal with my first few months, but after a bit I got desensitized and it seemed more routine than anything. Just part of the job to get slapped, kicked, bit, and punched.

I am so happy to hear about what you do! Brava! I teach homeschool enrichment classes and sometimes have challenging kids in my classroom and am not sure how to manage their behavior. Do you navigate how to manage each one of these children one at a time or do you have an established protocol? If so, what is it? Are you allowed to touch them -- like hugs if they are overwhelmed?

We are allowed to give 3 second "side hugs" with the kids permission. Each kid is really different, so instead of following a strict protocol we improvise a lot of the time. Obviously, we know clients rights and as long as we are in these bounds each staff member has their own approach.
And thank you :)

We are allowed to give 3 second "side hugs" with the kids permission. Each kid is really different, so instead of following a strict protocol we improvise a lot of the time. Obviously, we know clients rights and as long as we are in these bounds each staff member has their own approach.

I used to work with adults with severe developmental disorders, it didn't take long for me to lose what little compassion I had started with, the job was thankless and the company I worked for was horrid. Anyway my question is what is the worst part of the job for you?

I understand. Burn out is almost unavoidable in this field. Worst part is the aggression and outright disrespect some of us get from kids here. It can be very frustrating and hurtful. Learning how to brush it off can be tough. It gets easier though.

It's definitely not long term. I'm going back in the fall to get my masters so I can get higher up in this field and not spend my whole career "in the trenches" so to speak. Most people just don't last and burn out eventually.

Make sure you go to a program that is accredited and can get you licensed. I think the worst part of the counseling profession that laypeople don't know about is what it takes to get licensed. Look up your state licensing standards, and pick your school and program accordingly. Then look up the same for any state you might want to live in--they may not be the same.

Most kids belong here on some level. Some kids are not behaviorally impaired, they just can't stop doing drugs and getting arrested.
When we get a new kid, they go through a honeymoon phase where they are quiet and well behaved. Once they get comfortable, the reason they are there usually comes out whether it be PTSD or aggressive behavior.

I have wondered why Special Education places emotionally disturbed students in Special Ed with sensitive children. I have Asperger's Syndrome. I was emotionally abused by an emotionally disturbed male student who enjoyed making me cry. He smiled when he saw I was upset. Why are these students allowed in public schools where they can have their fun abusing vulnerable students?

If an adult was in a workplace where they were harassed by a co-worker, they could tell their boss, or quit. A student cannot quit their school, if a student decides to target them, there rarely is anything they can do. Especially if they have a mental disability that makes it difficult to understand social situations, every time I complained I was told I must be lying. It was like constantly being gaslighted, my reality was invalidated to the point I withdrew and dissociated as my only way of coping being forced to go to class with my abuser.

I want closure for this, I want to know or at least be reassured things are changing, that this will not happen to another student. It is beyond me why children, children are being forced against their will to go to a place where they face terror every single day. I was in such a constant state of anxiety, I started to think being anxious to the point of passing out was normal. No one believed me, except my parents, the school didn't get me help because they said if I was getting good grades I couldn't see the school psychiatrist. They punish students for doing well in school by denying them help they desperately need. It got to a point where I felt the only way to stop things was to murder my abuser. A child should never have to be pushed to that point, yet I'm almost certain this is one of the reasons behind school shootings.

I think special needs students should be able to choose not to go to school, or their parents should be able to have them homeschooled if they are too stressed. I graduated high school with a diagnoses of PTSD, the same diagnoses war veterans and victims of prolonged abuse get.

A child shouldn't have to face what adults would be allowed to say no to, we treat our children as if they should be able to handle to stressors full grown adults cannot. All of this happened because an emotionally disturbed student wasn't watched, and was not reprimanded for behavior I would easily say was sociopathic. Please tell me this won't have to happen to another child, that people will realize these students are predators and will abuse other students if not watched every minute of every day? Why should children have to endure abuse from the type of people adults would be able to escape from? Why?

Is the RTC in your area hiring? I'm thinking about moving to AZ and I'm a Residential Counselor/Crisis Intervention Specialist. My group of boys are all sex offenders. Sometimes I read bedtime stories to 19 year olds.

[IAmA violent attacker at a prison for children who can be jailed without any evidence/conviction, because we subjectively accuse them of having "behavioral" problems]

Fixed that for you. Basically, you're a for-profit violent child abuser. And it's very strange that people like you don't see your own "behavioral problems."

(Like being a for-profit child abuser.)

You speak under the assumption that these kids have "emotional/behavioral" problems. You have no physical test for "emotional" problems- that's just subjective opinion. And the kids you attack/jail/abuse may be accused of bad behavior, but if there was any evidence of it they could be convicted in a court room.

Before you rant about "but we decided they were dangerous/etc", that's just subjective interpretation of various people's speech, not evidence/conviction in court.

I don't understand your comment at all. I'm sorry, but name calling someone who does this type of work is out of line. Yes, it sucks that places like "treatment centers" exsist. What is your solution? Institutions suck, and they be as minimal as possible. Still, they need to exsist. If you wanna rail on an institution, why not prisons?? Our country has a real problem there, not as much so here.

Do you foster children with "behavioural challenges?? I doubt it, and with your attitude I hope not.

Yes, behaviour is subjective, and it isn't anyone's right to judge. I also think that we call all agree that severe neglect and abuse, any trauma occurring in childhood will have effects, both short and long term. The children are coping with this trauma, and many behaviors can result from this trauma. I would bet a large number of these kids aren't able to be placed in a home setting because there aren't enough adequate foster home placements. There aren't enough homes and they are ill equipt for this type of care.

I am betting this care providers doesn't make much money. This type of job never does. But if she wanted money, she would have picked a different degree. What she doesn't need is you calling her names.

Don't blame the person trying to caretake. Blame the problems that created this situation and try to change it.

Simple: the state should only violently attack people with evidence/conviction that they hurt someone.

they need to exist.

Prisons that jail people without evidence/conviction do not need to exist.

You have made no argument that they must exist.

Do you foster children with "behavioural challenges?

Irrelevant. I have said already that an accusation of "behavior issues" is not actual proof they did anything. eg, abusive family members can make false allegations of "behavioral problems" to cover up child abuse.

The children are coping with this trauma [therefore violently attack them, jail them, etc]

You really have the wrong impression.
First of all, half our kids are in custody of CPS and are not ready to be adopted or placed on a lower level of care due serious aggression or unsanitary behaviors learned from an abusive home, such as smearing their shit on the bathroom walls and trying to eat it.
Where I work is a treatment center, not jail. We admit children with no where to go, help them learn how to be socially appropriate and put them through therapy so they can try and process their abusive past.
The whole point of them discharging from our facility is to discharge to a lower level of care, whether that be home with their legal guardians or in a therapeutic foster home. So no, it's not jail and we do not "attack them". In fact, most kids I work with don't want to leave because it's the first place they have lived where they feel safe in their entire lives.

These children aren't here because they are criminals... That's what detention is for. They are here because they are unable to function in society due to their warped view on reality and what is expected of them. We are here to help them, not hurt them.

And what is your obsession with the word "violently". Nothing we do to them is "violent"
What does "violently locking them up" even mean?

You're trying to justify violently attacking people and kids because of your subjective opinions about their behavior. Such is violent insanity (on your part) & it's you who should be locked up- locked up for assault, imprisoning innocent people, etc.

What does "violently locking them up" even mean?

Using force to involuntarily lock someone up in a prison == violence. To pretend otherwise only shows your denial & lying to yourself.

These children aren't here because they are criminals... That's what detention is for. They are here because they are unable to function in society due to their warped view on reality and what is expected of them. We are here to help them, not hurt them.

You're trying to justify violently attacking people and kids because of your subjective opinions about their behavior. Such is violent insanity (on your part) & it's you who should be locked up- locked up for assault, imprisoning innocent people, etc.

What does "violently locking them up" even mean?

Using force to involuntarily lock someone up in a prison == violence. To pretend otherwise only shows your denial & lying to yourself.

That's just a statement (showing what you want to believe,) & lacks an argument for why it's true. When I say they are a prison/jail/etc, I'm saying it's the state violently & involuntarily locking people up (sometimes after violently kidnapping them.)

I'm curious, do you have experience with this sort of situation? Like were you, a family member or friend put in one of these institutions unjustly? Coming from someone who knows almost nothing about these sorts of programs I think it's great that there are people out there who won't give up on even the worst behaved children.

people out there who won't give up on even the worst behaved children.

Again- that's assuming guilt, when as far as you know, 99% of them could be completely calm innocent kids. Basically these prisons (and the drugs sold) are essentially a business, so it's no surprised that they don't want evidence/conviction getting in their way.