I love 1920 – 1960 time frame, I love wearing vintage clothing, I love antiques, I love old hair styles, I am fascinated with it all.

But reality is, I live in the 21st century and in a world of high technology.

Each Era brings its own unique problems and dilemmas to overcome.

Technology is one of them and how it has changed the way people communicate or as may be the case, how people do not communicate. I am on the computer most of the day, I am not a big fan of television, nor do I live by my phone. My husband works long hours, has to live by his phone because of his work, but he enjoys using it too. He enjoys the sound of television in the background while he is on his computer and having his phone next to him. I would say in the area of technology – we don’t have much in common.

We came up with only one solution so far to give our relationship balance. Tuesday night has become our night of ‘No Technology’, which includes all of the above. We have enjoyed this time. It allows us to use our imagination to fill our time together.

I do not have all the answers for balancing our relationship in the constant pull that technology brings. But it is important to come up with some kind of plan that you both agree upon.

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

There are cases with extreme circumstances – but I will say a good general rule is when your kids get married the parents play a new role in their children’s lives. The parent no longer has a voice in the direction that “the two who have become one” go.

This is not an easy position to step into. My Mother is a fix-it personality. When my husband and I purchased a home – as in all homes, we began to see all the defects evident within our purchase. My Mother with all GOOD INTENTIONS stepped right up to the plate. She was ready to call the work people and put the money out to fix the problem. I should have been thankful but I wasn’t. Tom and I had not even talked about it yet – no less come to a conclusion.

It is worth repeating, “We as parents have good intentions but good intentions can cause discord.”

Our rule for our grown children: We try (noticed I said “try”) to give our opinion only when we are asked. On the other side of that coin, our children know because we were asked that we have the freedom to express how we see their circumstances.

Here’s the difference – we were asked.

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Welcome to the place I refer to as my 'Secret Garden' that place where the real me is revealed. What you will discover is that I love God, almost everything I do is centered around that relationship. I love helping others to find that relationship as well. I also love Vintage everything, landscaping, gardening, paper crafting and urban homesteading. -Valerie