Friday, May 30, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Firstly, here is a t-shirt I spotted in a sporting goods store emblazoned with succinct instructions on how to be a loser:

(The motto of shut-ins everywhere.)

The movie "They Live" turned out to be uncannily prescient, except our oppressors don't even need to bother with the subliminal messaging. They just put their propaganda right out in the open--and we pay them to wear it on our bodies. (Yeah, I said "we." How could I resist? It was 20% off!)

Unlike most Kickstarter bicycle locks this one is at least analog and mechanical. I'm not sure I buy the claim that this is the "most cut-proof and easily transportable bicycle lock ever made," but I am willing to believe it's the world's first integrated bike lock and top tube pad:

So what makes it so hard to cut? Well, basically it's a small chain buried in hair:

Seems to me you could just douse the thing in gasoline and light it on fire, but I'm neither a bike thief nor a pyromaniac, so I have no way of proving that. However, if you are a pyromaniac, I would happily watch a video in which you literally subject the Hench lock to trial by fire.*

*[BSNYC Industries, LLC and its subsidiaries shall not be held liable for injuries resulting from bike lock immolation, and if you took the above literally then you're an idiot.]

Thirdly, I am pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then in the afterlife you'll sit eternally at the right claw of Lob, and if you're wrong you'll go to perdition where you'll simmer eternally in hot butter--and in the meantime you'll see a Fred Foul.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and laugh in the face of failure.**

--Wildcat Rock Machine

**[BSNYC Industries, LLC and its subsidiaries shall not be held liable for your inane inability to adequately process and assess risks.]

3) Dutch scientists report that they have achieved perfectly accurate teleportation of quantum information over short distances, and that they expect to unveil a road bicycle shifting group based on this principle in time for Interbike 2016.

It looks to me like at the end of the video, the chain is exposed and bolt cutters would finish the job right away. Why make a big deal of how much cloth gets wrapped around a whirling cutting disk? Just cut through the cloth somehow and then you're done, pretty much.

AND, this quote from the Giro article:"Colombian fans who had already stood chanting his name while he provided his sample. Some applauded, more shouted their support, and others even leaned forward to hug him."

Talk about performance anxiety! Imagine a crowd cheering and people leaning in to hug you as you try to piss in a bottle ...

That dude with all the cameras could be me if weird shit keeps happening on my traverse. I dusted off the helmet cam last night (sounds naughty but its not), and plan to put it back into use next week.

That shirt would be perfect for me. Once, when I was younger, I tried to be afraid (everyone was doing it), but I just couldn't be afraid, no matter how hard I tried (in truth, not that hard). So I'm a failure at fear. No fear!

Aw. Supercute photo of you, snobberdood. Gotta love that furry face. Summer is coming, though, and while the bush is back, you KNOW we've reached peak beard. Hair is migrating across the sexes and down to the deep south, dontcha know.

Babble I just sent my precious 5th Element Air Shock to your beloved BC, Canadia. It's 1.5 inches dia x 6.5 inches long with a smooth body so feel free to graze it against the vaginal shoreline of your pink canoe if by chance you cum across it. I will never wash it again if so. JUST DON'T BE TOO HARD ON IT AND F--K IT UP.

ge - right? Good luck figuring the fucking thing out after a couple of bevies.

LOL!! OMG. On Q they just said that researchers at the Max Plank Institute determined that men who watch a lot of porn have less grey matter than men who don't. But they need to do more porn research to figure out whether the porn causes it, or whether men with less grey matter just watch more porn.

It certainly explains a lot about me, doesn't it? A child of the sixties seventies raised in the early seventies on a university campus...? Ha. I saw a lot of sex in my early days, specially for a Catholic girl.

I feel like maybe there's something wrong with my sense of ambition in that I've been just complacently toodling along with my same Kryptonite U-lock for like 15 years. Using it. Getting used to it. Figuring out a place to carry it. Carrying it. Not really suffering particularly. Finding the bike still there every time. Treating the whole thing like just another already-solved problem. WHAT A LOOSER! Why am I not stirred by the stirrings of discontent that stir in the stirring hearts of men?

JUST KIDDING, muh-fuggaz are born into a world already-made, and right out the gate they want to rewrite the program when some of them should probably just wait a minute until they figure out why things are the way they are. It takes a while... sheeit, even me - I have a famous pitcher as my fake identity but until last night I didn't even know why a pitcher covers the ball with the glove right up until the throw. (So the batter can't guess from your grip what pitch is coming.) For shame rwaeee feenyay, for shame.

Point is, a lot of the solvable problems are already solved, and many of the new "solutions" are just new problems in disguise. You could get through life barely lifting a finger. Matter of fact, in a way, the less you do, the better. But people somewhat nobly and understandably want to make shit too, have ideas, solve problems. Why the fetish on "new" though? You could just as well take an existing idea or solution and bring it someplace like Africa where they don't have it yet, and help a lot of people! To me that is worth more than helping other already-doing-fine Americans with some dubious micro-improvement. So why not. Too hard? Might endanger your precious, precious life? Blissfully unaware anything else, anyplace else exists?

Welp, I guess I know what I need to do next - Peace Corps or something. Sorry to blather on so lengthily on such topics. Scranus?

Keen observers will have noticed Snobby today published a photograph in his blog of an automobile's derailler shift lever designed for right-hand-drive vehicles.

This is clearly a sub-conscious expression of contempt for the coast-to-coast favela his America has become and a yearning for the idyllic lands which drive on the left-hand-side of the road, all of which are land-of-milk-and-honey type paradises:

Babs, funny you should mention that news story. Just picked up the Burnaby News Leader and on the front page is a story about a sex shop owner who I briefly thought looked like you - I know, you'll look and it doesn't really.

Ha! :D And I was watching Sherlock the other night, where there was an interesting dominatrix who seemed to be doing rather well for herself. I thought to myself "Now there's an interesting career path...!"

The Hench is wrapped in Kevlar fiber. Kevlar is extremely strong and doesn't burn. If the kid gets a good, integrated lock design and the whole thing is pry-resistant then he's got something that's better than most locks on the market.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!