Of Love and Lust: How to Know if It’s Just a Fling or a Forever Romance

Let’s be honest ladies – most of us want love.
Not the quick, here and now, friends with benefits relationships that only
tithe us over for a while. I’m talking about a storybook, happily ever after,
“this is the man of my dreams” romance that will last us for the rest of our
lives. Trouble is, love is so hard to find!

Relationships are complicated affairs. Even the best
relationships carry doubt, fear, anger, and maybe even a tinge of jealousy. In
that steaming hotbed of unfiltered emotions, one of the biggest risks we run is
confusing Mr. Right with Mr. Right Now. When we’re caught up in the moment, we
feel completely fulfilled by what our man may be giving us. In the back of our
minds, though, there’s always a lingering doubt about how long it will last.

True talk ladies – there’s no easy way to know
for sure. Everyone is different, and what may last for ages in one relationship
is only good for a few months in another. With that being the case, there are
still some common signs you can look for. If you need help figuring out whether
you’ve finally found the love of your life, keep reading.

How to Know if It’s Just a Fling or a Forever Romance

It’s All in the Look

We’ll start off with a really simple one to kick
things off. If the main attraction between you and your man is physical, it’s
probably not a forever deal. Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing bad about
having the hots for your guy and he for you. In fact, it’s essential. But if
you’ve been in a relationship for some time, and all you’ve got going on is
physical intimacy, that’s just lust, not love.

The Telltale Signs of Physical
Lust

Funnily enough, you can spot a mainly physical
relationship more from what’s not apparent than what is. If you notice a lack of
the following, don’t count on this one lasting forever:

A real emotional connection, i.e.
both of you either aren’t keyed in on the other’s feelings or simply don’t
care.

Deep, meaningful discussions about
topics other than your next hook up

Activities that you do together
aside from intercourse

It’s a One-(Wo)man Show

This is another sign that will make itself
painfully obvious sooner or later. If you’re the one doing all the work to keep
the relationship going, then it’s probably not going to work in the long term.

You’d think that this one, in particular, would
be enough to clue most women into the fact that it isn’t mean to be. Sadly,
there are many women who remain committed to men who don’t share their
enthusiasm for the relationship. It’s not just between dating couples either.
Some experts suggest that up to 83% of married couples aren’t happy in their relationship.
For many women, feelings of inequality are the root cause of their marriage
woes.

Options for Dealing with a
One-Sided Relationship

So here’s the thing: you can be madly “in love”
with someone, beyond just lusting for them, but if they don’t return your
feelings, it’s not real love. However, that doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed. If
you’re in a one-sided relationship, you can try a few things to mend the
situation:

Start a conversation about your
feelings. Make it plain that you feel like you’re not getting back what you’re
putting into the relationship.

See a relationship therapist. The
problem may not be a lack of love from your partner – just a lack of awareness.
Learning to communicate can help them show you just how deeply they care

It may sound catty, but seriously:
if the above two methods don’t work, try slacking off. If your partner notices
your lack of engagement and starts talking to you, that’s a good sign that they
legitimately care about your relationship. If they don’t, it’s an indication
that you aren’t worth their time.

The fact that you have some options is good news.
The bad news is that they don’t always work. No matter what you do, if your
partner just isn’t committed, there’s not much you can do except end
the relationship for good.

What You Put Up With Says a Lot

No matter how “perfect” your man is, he’s going
to do some things that bug you. Like, in a big way! Don’t feel bad – he’s going
to have the same feelings about some of your traits. What’s key to look for is
how willing you both are to put up with what bothers you about each other.

In serious relationships that last through the
years, couples are willing to endure their partner’s failings without trying so
hard to change them. If you find yourself thinking, “I’d be better off without
this,” instead of, “This sucks, but he’s worth it,” that’s probably a fling.

Notice, I didn’t say neither of you ever
complain. Everyone needs to vent, and being able to easily discuss your deepest
feelings with your partner is a great sign of long term love. The difference is
that, for both of you, the bad comes nowhere near to outweighing the good in
your relationship.

You Don’t Want Anyone
Else…Mostly

So, confession time: this one can be tricky. I’m
not saying that nobody can find the
one person who fulfills their every desire. I’m saying it’s very rare. If we’re being honest, I
think all of us have thought about how life would be if we’d stuck with our
high school crush or married that workmate we shared coffee with. That doesn’t
necessarily mean you’re in a bad relationship.

Harmless Fantasy or a Sign to
Move On?

The reason this sign can be confusing is that
many women feel like if they ever
think about being with another man, especially if they’re married, it’s a sign
that their relationship is on the rocks. That’s not necessarily the case.
Here’s the key – you can think about other men all day long, so long as it
always comes back to the man you’re with. If that’s the case, then you’ve
landed yourself some quality life-long love material. If you conclude that life
could be better with someone else, guess what? It could very well be.

Christian Lauren is web enthusiast filled with passion and obsession for creating something unique and incomparable. Learning from the failures and collecting motivation from the victories are his most astounding qualities. Mainly, he wants to set-up himself as the person to symbolize and epitomize the knowledge maniac. Let’s be Creative!!