Downing Street is considering cutting the school summer holiday, overhauling child benefit and banning advertising to under-16s as part of a charm offensive aimed at winning back female voters, according to a leaked government memo.

The document reveals a growing anxiety at the heart of government that the coalition is failing to deliver on its promise to be the "most family-friendly government ever" and a worry that its support among women is particularly low.

It cites an "urgent need to up our game on communications about what we're doing". It says: "We are clear that there are a range of policies we have pursued as a government which are seen as having hit women, or their interests, disproportionately." The document mentions public sector pay and pensions as an example, "particularly as contrasted with – mostly male – bankers, in the popular narrative".

The proposals include moves to debate a reduction in the long summer holiday to help working families – "if we're feeling brave", it says. "This is tricky in the context of more school autonomy – but we could try some exhortation," it adds. Other measures raised include:

• Frontloading child benefit to help parents struggling with childcare and lost earnings in their children's first years.

• Working towards a "proper" ban on advertising to children.

• Introducing personal budgets for maternity services to allow women to shop around for services.

• Developing a strategy – "including possible cross-party work" – to ensure there are more female candidates for mayoral posts, elected police commissions and local enterprise partnerships.

• Changing plans for the new universal credit to give it to women automatically, instead of allowing the applicant to nominate a household member.

• Setting up a website to allow women to anonymously disclose and compare their salaries with others in their industry.

• Criminalising forced marriage because the "signals sent out by opting not to criminalise is a bad one".

• Holding a No 10 summit for women in business. "We haven't had one yet," it acknowledges.

Labour claims the government's economic strategy has hit women hardest as they bear the brunt of the reforms to welfare and benefits, as well as job cuts in the public sector, and the coalition's ratings among women have plummeted.

David Cameron has been accused of sexism on occasions, including when he told one female Labour MP to "calm down, dear". Last week's Commons debate on abortion stirred the issues once more. The document is understood to have been developed by the No 10 policy unit, headed by Steve Hilton, and is in marked contrast to the last leak from his office. That memo proposed abolishing maternity rights to help aid the economic recovery and startled ministers, who urgently sought to distance the government from it.

Cameron's chief strategist, the former pollster Andrew Cooper, is also working on the issue and has spent the summer analysing the problem of women and the coalition. This week, Downing Street is to hold a meeting with officials from across government, including some from the office of the home secretary, Theresa May. No 10 refused to comment on the leaked document but a source stressed that the nature of the document was to raise ideas for discussion and that no decisions had been reached.

The document says that women have reacted badly to "visible and prominent" issues, including tuition fees, abolition of child trust funds, changes to child tax credits, benefits and income support. The coalition's "women-friendly" policies on flexible working, parental leave, nursery places and health visitors have meanwhile failed to register, it notes. "There are also areas where we have made bold statements or promises but haven't delivered enough – including, for example, our overarching claim that we would be 'the most family-friendly government ever' [and] specific undertakings to increase the representation of women on boards," it says.

The paper refers to suggestions that women have particular concerns about the future for their children and the next generations. "We need to change our messaging about deficit reduction," it concludes. "Talk less about sorting out a mess, and more about building a better economy for the future."

Meetings have been held between female officials at the centre of government tasked with identifying the government's failure with women. The document says: "The group of Cabinet Office and No 10 women we assembled felt strongly that the general tone and messages of government communications, particularly around deficit reduction, were an issue – with women especially in the public sector feeling targeted.

"And even a view that the government's choice of leaders on the economy gave the implication that 'now there's a real job to be done sorting out the mess, it can only be done by men'."

Women's votes are increasingly seen as crucial for the next election. Polling by Ipsos Mori, commissioned and published by the Resolution Foundation, concludes that support for the coalition among female voters in the C2 socioeconomic group (mostly low-skilled workers) has fallen away. Over the course of this year, the Tory rating with C2 women is down by seven points, and the Lib Dems are down 14 points.

ItThe polling also shows that the proportion of women aged 18-24 who support the Tories has declined from 30% at the general election to just 18% in 2011, and support for the Lib Dems among the same group has fallen from 34% to just 8%. Overall levels of approval for the coalition have fallen to 25% among women, 8% lower than for men. Just 13% of women feel the Tory party is the party closest to women; only 7% believe the Lib Dems are.

Yvette Cooper, the shadow home secretary and minister for equalities, said: "Women don't want more spin and communications professionals, they want fundamental changes to government policy. This panicked reaction shows that once again, the Tories are treating the women of this country as an afterthought."