2. You immediately ask if there’s food.

It used to be a time when an open bar was all you needed to hear to get you out to the club. At this point, you pay a premium not to have to force your way to the bar for a free drink. However, free food? Oh that’s where it’s at!

Dr. JThis guy has no idea what his position is at SBM.org. He's a well travelled blogger. You can find his work at SingleBlackMale, Necole Bitchie's BitchieLife.com, BuppietheBlog.com, The Book of Jackson, This Is The Dream. He has also published several guest posts at blog all around the blogosphere. He can't spell really good, and grammar isn't his strong suit, but he really appreciates you reading his posts for content, and content only. (I feel very Michael Vick'ish referring to myself in the 3rd Person.)

Lol good post; I think after a certain age you should just give up the club and stick to a lounge or bar.
I remember on my 18th birthday me and my girls went to the club to celebrate. It was 18 for women and 21 and up for men. Of course we’re all excited thinking we were going to bump into some sexy 21-25 year olds. I mean they were in attendance but we were surprised to walk in and see so many old heads (30 and up men) posted up at the bar trying to wheel in the fresh meat.
You could tell they were a little too old to be there plus they were a little creepish.

Alakaii Hawaii

Nothing ever changes. Nothing is ever going to change. The nightlife lifestyle is THAT important and THAT significant it completely traps people in a deadzone. No matter how much you yell or scream no matter how heavy the truth hits, nothing is more important than the deadzone. It's actually physically devestating for your soulmate to consciously….*sigh* It's not even worth it. Someone who's been wasting away for 25, 30, 32 years is worthless. You can't do anything except fail. and hurt. and neglect. and whine. and complain. That's how you look. Dissapointing. Guaranteed to fail. I'm waiting for the day nightlife vs. prioritizing becomes life or death decisions. Fail. Fail. Fail. Not even realizing the consequences and repercussions of your actions.

What you are hinting at is totally different. Your saying they are too old for the club because you want them home and feel they are out just to chase other relationships.
Sadly most of those signs happened to me and I finally took heed. But there is a HUGE drop off of lounge type places for those in the 35 and up category. And when you do find a laidback place, it's populated by the cool young and hip crowd.

Alakaii Hawaii

No. What I said was people are worthless because their minds are trapped in club mentality. When exactly was the necessary qualities and behaviors for success developed? Most people are a joke coming out of that environment thinking they know something and having the audacity to pass judgement. Really? Come up here. The correct way. You can't. Because you aren't developed enough. You're worthless. a failure. Reaking of pride and ignorance. Now go to your lounge and have a seat. Lie to yourself like it's different. I don't care. A person that weak has no business in my life in the first place. Everything about them is tainted and offensive. That's how men look from a superior viewpoint. Dirty.

Alakaii Hawaii

I don't care about anything before the point I say 'you are dirty, dead weight and it's killing me' and then observing the subsequent character development or lackthereof. Do what you wanna do I wanna see who you are and most men find every little excuse they can to stay in a deadzone where no requirements are enforcable. and that's okay it's who they are. but you will be hard bodied checked when you approach me like you deserve a semblence of my respect.

Blgray317

shut up

Uncle Hugh, BP

11. Most does a post about Frank Ocean, and you think to yourself, "except for his appearances on Watch the Throne, I haven't heard any of this dude's songs."

Dr. J

Yahtzee!

Bree

lol….One thing I want to mention is that there are "lounges" that cater to an older crowd over 30. Some clubs also have nites where the crowd is more "grown and sexy." In fact at some you have to be over 25 to get in. If u listen to radio stations that play oleskool R & B and oldies they advertise clubs that cater to an older crowd. As long as your not still trying to party with kids young enough to be your kids then your cool….party on.

Kenyon

There are 'age ranges' — One does not hit 30 and is OLD and grouped with people 50-60-70+ . Further as people are more fit, and living longer.. the age range has shifted.

It goes something like this:

18-24 (Young.. and dumb..) — 25-35 (give or take a few years.. nothing is absolute) Still young, but generally more responsible.

36-45 — STILL relatively young,.. and not "out to pasture" so to speak. That have every right to go to a "club" if they want to ..

46-55 — Middle aged.. you see a lot of this age range re-visit their 20's and 30's habits.. some for a short time, some for a few year bender..

60+ — It's time to hang up anything but a laid back bar.. That said, there is always those "few" exceptions of guys who are old enough to be your dad.. or in some cases grandfather and can put you under the table drinking and physically.. But, by and large.. it's too old.

Personally.. At age 34.. I hardly drink anymore.. a few times a year if that. I don't go clubbing.. and may hit a bar once a year. That's just my lifestyle now.. I have friends who still go every other weekend and pick up girls,.. and aren't seen as "old".

I personally have a tough time hanging out with most 18-22 year olds.. just different mentality. That said.. anyone.. 25-45 .. usually fits right in.. obvious immature exceptions.

People can be immature at 18 AND 55.. Conversely there are some really mature 18 yr olds..

I just assumed they played his music in the club. I guess I wouldn't know because I'm not there. #contentoldman

Bree

2,3,4, and 9 was me even when I was in my 20's at prime club age….lol
I've never really been able to hang out all nite all the time. I could never work all day then hit the streets, club all nite and go back to work the next day, which is why I never really went out much during the work week. And my girlfriend is a nurse and so is my neighbor. Both of them would work, go home shower and change, hit the streets and club and have to go home get and dressed to go right back to work in like an hour or 2. I've also many times wanted to leave early before the club closes to avoid the crowd bum-rush, the club hour traffic, and guys trying to talk to me outside that I didn't want to talk to inside.

Bree

I've only had a really horrific hangover like once or twice. But just from the partying all nite and the drinks I do have I'm pooped the next day sometimes and sure do sleep as late as I can. I need to show this post to my bff. We're both in our mid 30's, over 32 and this chick is trying to be a NY Sex In The City chick living in South Philly…..ha ha, it's so funny to me.
I've never really been much of a club person though. Even when I was young I would rather be doing a lot of the stuff typical black folks didn't really want to do like go to museums, poetry sets, and live concerts and sometimes see white bands, and just do other stuff besides club, drink, party and bullsh**. I've always felt like there was so much more to life than that.

Peter Parker

Good post J. Number 9 happened to me this past weekend while at a friend's bday party. I asked for a shot of patron and the bartender said that will be $16. I said $16?? WTF??? I know drinks in certain spots in DC are high, but I was like, "Where they do this at?"

Naw fam, not to put the spot on blast, but it was one of those K street spots that begins with a L. Good thing I got there early to partake in some open bar deals. I will say I was very surprise at the party clientele though….

Yea I have never been a club type dude, even bars. I just hate the idea I have to dress a certain way, to go somewhere. I much rather hit a nice food spot or sushi bar or something where I can rock some sandals and a V-neck rather than worrying if my bow tie is on straight or if I am rocking this years most awesome outfit.
What killed it for me is when I witnessed dudes strategically placing their hands a certain way so if a woman walks by they can cop a feel. DISGUSTING. Most of the people there are NOT single, wishing that the grass is greener on the other side..

With the new social media and people posting pics of drinks and "partying" I really thing it's going to change how people treat not only intimate relationships but even friendships. If am not in the lets go out and buy up VIP to be seen SCENE, then I don't get the phone calls from buds anymore..
I would much rather sit back with some bomb food and drinks and be with my people than hanging out with all these people who think they are a celeb on the red carpet. I love networking but why does it have to happen at 1am? Will always be ratchet to me..

I think every one these is me. lol. I am too old for the club… … …in my own city. But out town/out of the country, I'm any age I want to be! lol.

CPT Callamity

At 35 I approve of this message.

Now all of the people my age say "I don't do clubs but I do DO lounges and you know…jazz clubs."
Don't forget that over the age 25 if you want to set yourself apart from the youngins you have to attend events that have fliers with "Grown N Sexy" in cursive writing on them (with of course the picture of a model who won't be in attendance).

Oh yes, when you get over 30, you're supposed to go to "Theme Parties" and "Day parties" because that's what grown and sexy people do. So go ahead and splurge for that purple and cream outfit that you'll wear once. Just pose for the pictures, wait 3 days and then return it with the tags still on.

Reecie

so funny and true. I'm the post up queen. if its not a lounge and I can't sit, I'm posting up. IM TOO DAMN OLD to stand in sky high heels for more than 3 hours. I can admit that. lol

WisdomIsMisery

Hilarious. Yeah I'm def too old to the club. I'm probably "too old" to do a lot of things but I keep doing them. I just do them differently. I don't go as hard as I used to the few times I do hit the club. And when I get tired, I leave. Whether that's closing time or 11pm. I'm not trying to shut down anyone's club. Also, I've noticed with age that I've moved closer and closer to the bar in my club-travels. I used to be on the dance floor living it up for 8 hours. Now I'll usually just catch a stool and chill…..for 2 – 4 hours. If I see a cute girl, I approach. If I don't, I enjoy my drinks, music, and vibe then I go home and watch HBO OnDemand and stream Pandora, sometimes at the SameDamnTime.

PS… I think the key is to find someone your speed. At this age, I usually prefer to "take sand to the beach" more often than not. Having a good time with one girl (or group of friends) I'm already cool with at the club > trying to impress 1,000 girls I don't know from a hole in the ground at the club. That's just me tho.

Reecie

nice comment. agreed. I've always lived by this Jay quote "one that loves to party, but goes home early" I do not shut any club/lounge/mixer down. when I'm ready to go I go.

and I enjoy going out with a guy, always have even when I was younger in my dancing hard days. you two can tease each other on the floor all night then go home and have some more fun lol

WisdomIsMisery

*eye brows raised*

Bree

Sorry Wis….love u like cooked food but everytime u make a wack azz comment about how your your so old like your an old azz man over 40 I gotz ta come at ya! *smile*
I'm older than you, so if anything I'm the "Olehead." lol

WisdomIsMisery

In my defense, you being older than me doesn't necessarily make me young it makes you…….

You know what? Never mind. You have yourself a good weekend. 🙂

Bree

I'm not feeling too good today but I definitely will….*smile*

bree

"Yeah I'm def too old to the club" roflmba @ this one!
whatever Wis….shut yo not even the big 3-0 yet young azz up!

Willie

At 29 I know my party hard days are almost done because if I want to last the whole night/be any good in the morning I have to make sure I break out my “old man cocktail” before I go out. 1. Prilosec, 1. 5 hour energy, 2 extra strength Tylenol.

Bree

lmbao @ the "old man cocktail" too funny.

Streetz

I've seen a lot of people do this at "club age" lol.

I think going to a club isnt an issue so long as your level of comfort. If you LOOK like the old man at the club, maybe you should chill or go to a more age appropriate spot. The spots I like to call "Auntie clubs" because you would definitely see your aunts and uncles getting their respective grooves back while two steppin to "good music".

I definitely am not the party hard every weekend dude anymore, but I still enjoy the club/lounge/house party/bbq scene. Once you stop being comfortable and start looking like a lurk, than it's time to stay home lol
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WisdomIsMisery

Actually, at this age, "children's parties" / "house parties" (and bbq) are WHERE IT'S AT. Some of the livest parties I've been to lately are "children's parties" where the kids went to sleep at 8pm. You always know it's gonna be a good time when you show up to Shenquisadfkelifatifa's 3rd B-day Party BUT next to the children's cake and gifts is the island bar bubbling over with liquor bottles.

I'm definitely too old for the club – and even lounges have to be event driven for me or I'm taking someone out who's in town visiting. Also the fact that I don't drink anymore is more of a deterrent. The past couple of times I went to a "spot" I literally stayed for 1 1/2 – 2 hours.

The older I get the more I just go to bars and places that have straight live music. The only time I'll go to a club is if its a mixed crowd. Like it or not, mostly white crowds party somewhat differently. I haven't been out once and NOT seen someone's almost grandparents out enjoying themselves

CPT Callamity

I dig the bar thing. I actually started going to little neighborhood spots and found the atmosphere as well as the people are more fun to be around than the bougie mixer crowd.

Muze

i like to dance. i hate clubs. even when i was younger i had this issue. lol.

i'm def the one that looks at these young girls wearing skittles and twix dresses or dresses with more skin than material and just shake my head. my little sisters are going through the club all weekend and sometimes on thursday phase. glad that's in my past. lol
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WisdomIsMisery

I remember when "club time" started on Wednesday. Now my old ass is like "are we going Friday OR Saturday?" …. I'm def not clubbing half the week and all weekend anymore. Old WIM is not about that life.

#5 that is ALL. The girls always look EXTRA thirsty nowadays. SMH I can't anymore…
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guest

waht happened to the mixes?

Young Heaux

I can't be at the club. I don't even know how I used to go, or why anyone does. It's scary. What you gon do if there's a fire & you're in the middle of the dance floor? Dangerous as sh*t! That many people in a room should be illegal. And then the likelihood of the place you're at getting shot up is 10x normal. It just doesn't make any sense to me now. Rather hang out in open areas & with fewer bodies :

medsoulbrother

That pretty much sums up my clubbing life *runs to the corner and starts bawling his eyes out*

Clubbing is fun but there is more to life than clubbing. People should make time for the things that matter more, like time for managing your investments!

sawitcoming

Man, I'm bored as f*ck in the club and think everything up in there is stupid. That's how I know I'm "too old" for the club.

OldBro

Nobody is EVER too old to party. Just party with the crowd your age. I'm a big kid. Quite frankly, when I'm 50 years old, if I still have all my hair I may just grow dreadlocks! And I will still watch cartoons, play video games, go to the beach and check out the ladies, and party all night until I freakin die. Oh, and I am educated with a 6-fig job, but I still like to have fun. And so does my wife. And once our kids are grown out the house, we will party more and more. And after we both retire, we will travel the world with our other married couple retired friends, and we will drink and smoke cigars and party and see the sites of the world. Have fun until you die folks. Don't be thinking "I'm too old for this or that". You only live once! 🙂

That also applies to us 40 something women and still single… Club is no place to hang no more less people start talking about you as a cougar.

Ang

Well this is really an issue of toleration.

I've seen old people that are attractive and young people that are ugly. I think that you're generalizing that all old people are ugly and that ugly people shouldn't be in the club, but as you get out more you're realize that no one's perfect. Everyone has problem, some problems may just be harder to see than others. Ugly people should be in clubes. One mans old skank is another mans fettish.

So remember, the world doesn't revolve around you and before you think that other people shouldn't be clubbing because they don't meet your standards, remember, you don't meet other people's standards either.

Tolerate other people's taste and they will tolerate yours. The world does not revolve around you.

Violet Renee

You're never too old for the club if you are in a club with people who are your own age or close to it. There are many places to party for both young and old. Get your groove on and don't worry about other people. Do You. I refuse to sit a home and watch tv because someone who doesn't know me thinks I should.

I came back to read this again after sharing it with a few coworkers….we all got a kick out of it and laughed our asses off, mostly because these are true IF you need a reminder when its time to let it go….of course, there is that one coworker who was standing around, looking slightly offended, and defending his love of the club. I told him, bro, if it works for you and you're enjoying it, DO YOU…but I somehow think this confirmed some things for him that he already subconsciously battles with. lol.

oreolvrs

whats actually funny is that i became too old for "clubbing" when most other kids my age were starting it.I was the club king at 9.Id sneak into clubs with my teenage friends so by 15 and 17 i got too old for it,Seriously by 2001/2002 the music became strange and loud.This is why i cant listen to anything post 2001/2002 even the new bands that came out not just the chart music.Me going to clubs at that point would have been equivalent to a 42 year old going to Ecstasy raves with a group of 18 year olds(like madonna in this that Briteny & Madonna Mad TV Skit on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvlqm-wom-E) .By then i went to art galleries and museums.I still all my old nirvana Tye Dye T-shirts and la bouche,culture beat and other late 80s and early 90s dance albums on cassette(not mp3 or compact disc but cassette – how retro).now at 26 I still go to galleries but also jazz lounges and the sort with my friends in their mid to late 30s.Dude i felt really old by 15 among my peers as I had to be physically dragged to raves and concerts during my teens.Its no suprise I stayed a virgin till this year

nicole

Noone can tell you you’re too old but yourself. I’m 29 and even though I don’t get out even remotly as much as I used to because I’m now a mother I still like to go out and party it up from time to time. Go out and have fun while you can..save the lounging days for when you’re just too tired. You’re only as old as you feel. If you’re 40 and want to party so be it…as long as your priorities are taken care of first!

LaMarcus

I think some people go to the club because it’s an alcohol buffet. Then you have older people who are miserable, going to get younger people to help them be miserable, buy asking them to go to the club. I know someone Going on 60 years old who got left by her husband. She goes to get someone half her age that’s married to go clubbing. Now this older lady is lonely but that’s how it is for her. Instead of the older lady telling the younger lady that she will lose her husband if she continues to go clubbing, be she wont. She don’t get along with the husband but his wife is weak. The wife don’t even know the old lady for real. So, I don’t club, and this old lady should be ashamed of herself

Barbara

I think once you become a parent (whenever that may be), then it’s time to hang up your dancing shoes and start devoting your Sunday mornings into quality time with your kid rather than nursing a hangover. That said, I’ve noticed that once you hit a certain age, it becomes cool to go out and party again. I’m 24 and still go out regularly, but a few times now I have seen elderly people at clubs having a blast! When you’re the middle-aged woman trying to regain your youth, it isn’t cool or attractive, but when you’re the old granny who is now spending her days enjoying life and sharing your moves with the young people on the dance floor, it’s both hilarious and awesome. When I was at this one club in L.A., this 86-year-old woman was there with her granddaughters and had people literally waiting in lines to buy her drinks, dance with her and take photos with her. She wasn’t trying to act young or look young– she was just genuinely having a fun night out and living it up in the final stages of her life. Another time, when I was in Mexico, there was this elderly couple out at a club, showing younger people how to dance salsa. They were wonderful, and again, everyone was taking photos with them and offering them drinks. When I’m elderly, I sincerely hope I’m that awesome.

Myra Esoteric

Let me tell you about one rare time I went to a club. I am far older than the target demographic but I never went clubbing in high school or university.

So I went to a heavy metal club because there was no cover fee and after a few minutes, I spaced out and mostly resorted to gawking at the nifty stuff (skulls, satanic imagery etc.) embedded in the wall and ceiling. It became apparent that me and my BF were the token minorities, though we definitely felt welcomed and not discriminated.

At the behest of my boyfriend, I drank beer to fit in. Afterward, I went out and got an Arizona and bubble gum to get the alcohol flavor out of my mouth. Fortunately when I got back in, they were playing a song I knew, so I sang along. I watched TV in there (ironically, a program about the dangers of rock music) and my boyfriend talked to bikers which is something he rarely does because he’s a nerd. I also received a coupon for a concert which I did not attend, since it was on a work night.

To be honest, it was kind of boring. I don’t know why people are so obsessed with clubs and popping bottles. If I wanted to drink beer I would get economy sized packets of beer in Costco and invite ‘cool’ people to the student union basement in my alma mater. At least it’s cheaper.