For players to become self-reliant you must not micromanage the game for them. As a player-centered sport, some coaches become disillusioned as they learn that they are the 'guide on the side' and not the 'sage on the stage'. In many sports, the coach makes crucial decisions during the competition. This coach-centered perspective has been handed down to us from other sports and coaching styles of past generations.

"Talking too much is a big danger for a coach. The words get lost in the wind." – Sir Alex Ferguson

In soccer, players make the primary decisions during the match. The coach's decisions are of secondary importance. The ego-centric personality will find coaching soccer troublesome. During the match you can call out some general reminders, 'mark up' for example, but for the most part remain quiet. But do indeed yell out praise, loudly! For the most part, sit and silently observe the match. It's your players who should be heard the most during a match.

Now, some team supporters will think that you are not coaching if you are not constantly talking, so you will have to educate them on why this chatter diverts players' attention. Team supporters too often have their view of the match colored by the professional model and by a view of coaching that is portrayed in the sports media. In a coach-centered sport with frequent stoppages in play and time-outs, the coach takes on a direct role during the game. Soccer does not stop except for a serious injury and half-time, so the coach has only an indirect role during the match.

You should attempt to have players play for an extended period of time. The players are thus asked to solve their own problems on the field instead of having the coach make substitutions in order to solve the problem for them. Coaches should not 'platoon players' in and out of games in order to wear an opponent down. Unlike most team sports, soccer is a player's game, not a coach's game. Substitutions allow for all players to play and will speed development for a greater number of players. You should decide before the match or tournament what the policy will be regarding substitutions – then stick to it.

One outcome of sensible substitutions and less talk by the coach during matches is room to grow for the players. In this fertile game environment some of your players will grow as team leaders. This will begin with a player directing one or two players and, in time, the entire team. Leaders will guide and inspire the team from within.

"Over-coaching is the worst thing you can do to a player." – Dean Smith