“Come on, be real. It was just a dumb, wild coyote. Who cares who shot him? After all, he just balanced out all the feral cats that people dump, and we are not allowed to touch those.”

“Excited about women in combat? Please.”

“At 51 years old, I fail to see what makes this country so great. No universal health care. Our rates of the homeless are skyrocketing. The gap between rich and poor is wider than ever. What’s so great about America, anyway?”

“Hey, people, what did you expect our first lady to wear to the presidential ball? A burlap sack?”

“Boy, some of you people drive some real junk. Just because it runs doesn’t mean you should drive it.”

“Hello, moronic tourists who frequent Bay Street and Broughton Street. A crosswalk does not mean you can automatically walk across the street. Believe it or not, you have to wait for the little guy that tells you to walk. And you especially don’t walk when the light is flashing to stop!”

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“Come on, be real. It was just a dumb, wild coyote. Who cares who shot him? After all, he just balanced out all the feral cats that people dump, and we are not allowed to touch those.” Too bad the coyote didn't bit you on the rear end before some idiot killed it.