Coming Out: Is It A Good Idea During The Holidays?

Chances
are you may see your relatives on few occasions.Thanksgiving may be one of them.Christmas may be the other.You don’t want to upset the tone of the holidays by
injecting a life-altering announcement that will either elicit a million
questions or silence your guests who are unprepared for such news.The news may not sit as well as the
turkey.

You
don’t want to usurp and undermine the holiday with your coming out news or
embarrass your relatives who thought your boyfriend was just a “friend” in the
past. ( However, if your straight
child has a “significant other,” show as much interest in your LGBT child’s
love interest. ) For both straight parents and LGBT children, you should come
out on your own timetable when you can focus on each other, not when you are
busy delumping the gravy, carving the turkey, opening gifts, answering phone
calls, and tending to possibly small children.Most holiday traditions do not include coming out.

So,
when is a good time to come out?

·When the teller and the news recipient aren’t distracted.

·When the announcement allows time for conversation afterwards.

·When the parent and child are relaxed.

·When it is a private conversation.

What Do You Gain By Telling?

Before
coming out, an LGBT child should weight the pros and cons.Before sharing the news, it’s helpful
to review questions that you think your parents or loved ones will bombard you
with and prepare your responses.Of course, you don’t owe answers to anyone.Your parents and other relatives may hug you an express unconditional
love and support, hopefully.

Or,
if they are adamantly opposed to same-sex love and have voiced this view, skip
the revelation.If you think you
could be banished from your house, I wouldn’t tell them until you are
financially independent.As not
all coming outs go well at first anyway, parents may try to guilt trip you or
change your mind.Take this into
consideration.

Anyhow,
it’s the child’s story.If you
know in advance that your child is LGBT, make sure you first obtain permission
from him before he divulges the information to relatives and friends.Your child may want you to be the messenger.

·Do not ask your child if they’ve “changed their mind” about their
LGBTQA identity. This is not a “phase.”

·Do not introduce your child’s significant other as their “friend.”
Don’t deny the relationship or ignore it.Ask our child what you should call their “significant other” when
introducing that person to family and friends.Make sure your child doesn’t out his partner before his
“main squeeze” is ready to come out.

·Do not call your child by any names or pronouns other than their
preferred chosen name and pronouns. If you flub, apologize and say that you are
trying to keep up with the new identity.

·Do not attempt to set them up with someone. Anyone.This will not change their mind and who
knows better than your child whom he wants to date?

·Do not ignore the election.While politics are usually a no-no at the dining table, if Trump’s
rescindment of LGBT rights rears its ugly head, you should assure your child
that you are the best ally and will have his back.

No
holiday is perfect, but these suggestions may make for a more comfortable
holiday for everyone, especially the LGBT child.