Welcome! You can call me Lilly - 3 L's, please.In 2008 I was fed up with reading unhelpful or misleading onsite sex toy reviews, wasting money on crappy toys. That is why I started reviewing. If you want the truth, you’ll find it here. I don’t sugar-coat my reviews, I don’t ignore or gloss over really bad aspects of a sex toy. I'm also a loud warrior in the fight against Toxic Toys. {...read more}

Ya know, I don’t do it often, but tonight I’m just gonna let the crankiness flow. Mmkay? Glad you’re with me.

So I don’t know why the fuck I still have a profile on OkCupid*. I don’t go there much anymore. It’s been awhile since I’ve met anyone from there. The last guy that I met I thought it was just a friendly date despite him being enamored with the “Blog Lilly”. We emailed quite a bit and I found him great to talk to. I had thought that I made it clear that despite the fact that he’s seen blog photos of me naked and that I can be mildly flirty, this was a friendly coffee date only. Now either I didn’t make it quite clear enough or he was severely let down meeting the “real life me” in contrast to “Blog Lilly”. I’ll never know. All I got from him the next day was that I “confused him”. He didn’t know what to make of things, of our meeting. He couldn’t tell me why he was confused or what about. Whatever. I said hello via email a few weeks later and still no reply back. I’m sure he no longer reads the blog. Just before him was Shawn, but she disappeared too eventually after we hung out once. She faded in and out for the next month after and we spoke of getting together again but it never happened.

In recent months, though, Okcupid has been a sesspool of idiots. Stupid emails, crass emails. You guys know, you’ve read a few. Finally I added this to the beginning of my profile: “I apparently need to spell this out, and also put it at the top. I do not have the “casual sex” box checked off, for a reason. It’s because I don’t want a casual fuck with a stranger. So if you feel so inclined to drop me a line touting your mad skillz in bed or just that you’d like to fuck me and would I like to meet to make that happen? Save your time, and don’t drop me such a line. It won’t get you anywhere. If you’re looking for a quickie NSA hookup, I direct you to your local Craigslist.” The “hey wanna fuck” emails dwindled down considerably. Still the straggling asshats and morons attempted now and then. Today’s email was the pinnacle.

Subj: no offense but… “guys message you for an nsa hook up because your tits are like small countries with vast tracks of land and you’ve put those pictures on your profile. i’m not excusing them, random sexual encounters are dangerous. but as a guy, i thought you should understand. and that was my way of starting a conversation. its like a coin toss. we’ll see what happens when the penny drops.“

I replied: “So you’re telling me that the price I pay for having big tits is getting unwanted NSA hook-up emails? Or is it just that I have big tits and I’m not ashamed and covering them up like a librarian? Is this like the argument that a rape victim deserved it if she dressed up sexy because she felt like it?”

My pics are not overtly whorishly sexual, they’re sexy and guess what? There’s cleavage. You can’t hide that at 42DDD. So I’m asking for it by having those, as opposed to fun frolicky “look at me having fun with random peers, i must be normal!” pics.

Y’all tell me if I’m being a cunty bitch here, ok? It’s alright, I can take it. Over there in the sidebar, up at the top, I have my copyright listed. It’s also in the footer of every single post, to be seen when you’re viewing a singular post. Basically, you’re free to share/re-post portions of my posts or my pics so long as you have my permission OR you appropriately credit me (i.e. this blog, via link). There’s more than just that but you can read it here. Now, last HNT was only posted on my blog. I didn’t upload it to Twitpic or similar. I tweeted a link, but this person wasn’t a follower at the time (I lock down my tweets). He tweeted about my pic, crediting my twitter account name and linked people to the photo – not my direct link of it, not my blog post link but to an imageshack link where this person uploaded it to his own account. When you view it, there’s zero accrediting to me/this blog. I told him that he couldn’t do that, and to remove it. He argued: “No copyright infringement, Fair Use, U asked ppl on social media to look @ it, I did, & reviewed it on my non-commercial social media page. I also credit you and send pple to UR site. Once there U can try to sell DVDs, videos, blogs, cam-time whatever. However if U do not want my compliments or the extra exsposure, just say so, & I’ll Unfollow – I play nice.” W. T. F. I have no damn clue what he’s prattling on about with selling shit, I don’t do that. He never credited my site. People are viewing that photo and as has happened before with my pics, someone with a tumblr will repost it and be in violation of my creative commons because they didn’t credit me. I’m now the dramatic cunt because I calmly and nicely told him hey, thanks but can you please credit or remove? your current method is “not allowed”.

I don’t care what I post, what I say, what pictures I put up. There’s only one person who’s ever allowed to use the terms “nasty” and “filthy” in regards to me and that’s R and that’s only in sexual roleplay (which is in the past). It’s not sexy, it doesn’t turn me on. It makes you look like a disrespectful pig. From a stranger, those words are not a compliment or a way to hit on me.

Ok so I just now saw that I had a response to the above mentioned Okcupid mail about my vast tracks of land and perhaps I jumped a little harshly at the poor guy. But still. vast tracks of land?!?!

him: “you’re right. guys should show you respect regardless of what you’re wearing. i only meant to give you a window into the mind of the average male; not offer an excuse for their actions. i’ll remember this. for future reference, i’ll never message someone new and start talking about her vast tracks of land. at the time, it just seemed like a better way to say hello than “hey! i’m bi-polar too! hooray!“”

Oh and while I’m at it I just gotta share with you one last Okcupid email. Got this from a guy who claims to be 39 in his profile but looks much more like 59.

Subj: Head – how bout it? Body: How bout some head ?

When I didn’t reply to that lovely gem, he sends another email the next day.

Subj: re: “head” request. Body: requesting some “head”.

To which I took in a snarly fiery nostril deep breath and fired off: “I’m requesting that you fuck off and die. This isn’t the Bunny Ranch, or craigslist, and I made it clear I’m not looking for casual sex. You’re a disgusting old pervert.” And then I blocked his ass from ever contacting me again.

I swear you guys, I’ve got sexy shit here in drafts. I promise. But for some reason, even though I’m on that “health watch” 2.5 weeks off work and can type to my lil hearts content………it ain’t comin. All that’s flowing these last two days is cranky and snarky and growly. So um, real soon. Promise.

*I don’t now. After proofing this post I thought about it and weighed the pros and cons and dumped the profile. There’s still huge shoes to fill and it’s just not gonna happen anytime soon.

And giving unsolicited advice about someone’s profile is probably not ever a good idea, eh?

~ No, it’s usually never a good idea, lol. I shamefully admit that I’ve never seen any of the Monty Python movies. I’m sure I’ve seen a clip here and there, but yeah that lame reference went WAY over my head.

http://twbuddha.blogspot.com Buddha

“Vast tracts of land” reminds me of some of the stories on Literotica. I had a friend, in fact, who used the term “firm tube of flesh” in one of her posts (Facebook). I jumped on it and replied with “She asked him to come aboard. Looking down upon her flashing beacons, he took helm of his manhood – his steel engine, throbbing – and thrust it toward her love canal, then stepped down into the cockpit… leaving a thick, foamy wake behind.” I wrote that, but I come across shit like this on Literotica all the time. Pisses me off. WHO SPEAKS LIKE THAT?? I get that he was referencing Monty Python, but yeah… don’t reference. Just be human.

~ Who speaks like that? Go pick up any of the Fabio-on-the-cover cheesy romance novels at the grocery store and you’ll see. What REALLY pisses me off about Literotica is that I see shit like that, and typos and bad grammar……but I’ve had ALL THREE stories I’ve submitted get rejected. Also your line there made me crack up and gag simultaneously, haha

Sexy @ Forty

Most guys on those places are just plain assholes. I have fought with more of those idiots then I care to admit. They NEVER read the freaking profiles – then when you point it out – they get all pissy like WE have done shit wrong!!

I think you were well within your *rights* to say/write what you did. Don’t change a thing! lol

mrs. m

most men don’t listen, so why do we expect them to read a profile full of useful information such as the fact that you’re not interested in NSA.

i’ve been on the search for a lover for almost a year now. yes, i’ve met some fantastic guys, even had a good romp in the hay or two, but overall i meet a ton of creeps. they don’t read, they want a wet, willing hole to stick it in.

i really could go on and on about this subject, but i’ll just stop there and just say this: loved this post! lol!

http://www.kinkylibrarian.net Nadia West

I don’t blame you for taking your profile down. There is a great preponderance of assholes there lately. And I have no idea why these guys think their crappy lines will ever work – DO they ever work?

But, uh, what’s up with this line? “Or is it just that I have big tits and I’m not ashamed and covering them up like a librarian?” Considering how often I’ve shown my tits online I’m kinda scratching my head that covering your tits is a “librarian” thing. Sure, at work I don’t flash cleavage (no plunging necklines IS in the dress code) but that’s about being professional, not prudish. I’m sure that plenty of other professions (teaching, nursing, etc.) require you to not flash your tits at work. Outside the library – oh yes I will let them hang out! I’m not getting pissy here, just trying to point out the everlasting librarian stereotypes that we librarians hate. It’s not a huge deal, but one I want to shed light on.

~ heh and I thought of you after I sent that to him ;) Librarian was just the first “type” that popped into my head when thinking of modestly dressed. Yes you do show your tits online and thank god! lol. but you CAN’T at work when you’re in “librarian mode”. I can understand that it’s a stereotype that librarians don’t like, especially the younger ones like you, but it exists and it’s common.

ms.inconspicuous

What, exactly, about breasts would make it okay to solicit a NSA fuck? It’s not like it’s some Pavlovian trigger point that makes all self control go out the window (esp. on a dating site…sheesh).

This post highlights two things that are well known:
1. Guys on these sites are–generally–idiots. (Who are typically incapable of reading.)
2. You do have spectacular breasts. Just saying.

~ thanks sweetie, good to see you around a little more lately! these men who behave this way wholly disagree with you. but I also feel that men who behave this way should be chemically castrated temporarily just to see what it’s like to be more civilized.

Con Template

Good post. Give ‘em hell & get it off your chest. No pun intended.

Tracer Bullet

See, girl. What you need to do is drop those zeroes and get with this hero, ya heard?

Vast tracts of land. Hee!

~ Well alright then, you’ve twisted my arm ;)

PJ

Look,its like this ur hot plain and simple and guys we can be assholes especially if we are horny so forget about all that drama. Oh side note I really REALLY like the slippery when wet post you did a couple of days ago pure hotness.

~ Honestly I’m surprised you had the balls to post this comment, given all that I said and others said in comments above you. No, I’m sorry, “horny” doesn’t excuse rude barbarian behavior. It does not give you a free pass to be an asshole. If only men like you would realize this….you’d get laid more and do better in life in general.

Marcus

Being a guy, and knowing what goes through my mind when I see someone that turns me on, I never have been able to understand the way most guys react to sexual stimuli. I have never assumed that because I am attracted to someone then they will automatically be attracted to me. Nor have I ever expected that someone I didn’t know would instantly want me just because I crudely expressed an interest in their body. I do understand the idea of looking at profile pics while not reading the actual profile, but not if I intend to talk to the person that the profile belongs to. Maybe I’m just not man enough to understand these concepts, but my wife seems rather happy with me and I met her online. So, if that’s what it takes to be a man I’m quite happy to report that I am not that manly at all.

~ it’s not much to do with being a man…..to me its about being a decent human being.

http://deweyssystem.blogspot.com Dewey

I’m glad you posted this and took a minute to vent it out. I’ve seen a lot of these kinds of posts lately, well, maybe since I joined the blogging community, and my reaction is usually the same: I’m glad that there are idiots out there who can’t read, or can’t honor some simple requests, because then, when a decent guy like myself comes around, you all can spot it, and recognize me for being a somewhat reasonable – decent human being. But, on the other hand, when it drives you to turn off your profile, then its a lose lose for everyone. So in saying that I guess I wish that guys could just read a little bit better, and be a little more polite. Not too much though, because then the competition would get stiff.

~ You do make very valid points. However while it does make spotting the good guys easier….after too many assholes in a row it can make us very jaded and you still won’t stand much of a chance. I just don’t understand, is it just the internet, is that the only reason for this? Maybe men were like this somewhat 20 years ago but I can’t believe its not gotten worse.

The blogs listed above only represent what I'm reading right now. But there are still a whole lot of lovely people that I enjoy on Twitter, so you should check out this Twitter List, too. Follow them, check out their blogs if they have one, etc. You don't want to miss out on this!