Okay, so it’s Christmas-time in our “Container Homeland…”

In light of the fact that the weather is horrid and I’m afraid to go outside with all the nuts running around trying to buy last minute presents…

And it grows closer to that time when Santa will load his sleigh, and fly from the North Pole to places “hither and yon…”

I look at the melees at Walmart and I’m reminded that people have forgotten that the really cool thing about Christmas (aside from the religious significance), is the attitude of the people trying to fool Santa into thinking that they’d been good ALL year long…

So, I thought I’d take a moment to post some of “Ronin’s Observations About the Holidays” to remind some of us what is really going on…

Stuff like this;

When caught up in the Christmas Madness and surrounded by crazed shoppers…

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”

Remember Campers, H1N1 is everywhere.

I decided to buy a friend a book for Christmas. So, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman behind the desk;

“Excuse me… Where’s the self-help section?”

She actually said:

“If I told you it would defeat the purpose.”

My neighbor says that the main reason Santa is so darned jolly is because he knows “where all the bad girls live”.

Hmmmm…
At that book store, I overheard another customer ask that same saleslady;

“Excuse me, Ma’am… I’m going to buy a Christmas present for my new girlfriend. What do you think she’d like?”

She replied;

“Does she like you?”

He answered:

“Well, yeah, I think so…”

And she said;

“Well, if she really likes you, apparently she’ll like anything.”

And I hope that I don’t make the same mistake I made last year;

In our house, we celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas, so that Joshua doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on something fun.

Josh got a toy, and I bought my wife some expensive perfume… and I gave my brother-in-law a pistol I’d had for years.

And when I was wrapping them, I put a ‘flowery’ note in her present saying:

“Honey, I hope that you love this and that you’ll try it out on yourself sometime really soon…”

When she opened it up and read the note, she got a really weird look on her face, and then just gave me one of her;

“There’s a reason people are afraid of Indians, Paleface… ” look…

I had accidentally given her the pistol.

And last… I had to take a bus to another town to go shopping recently. How do Santa’s reindeer know to cross at that yellow “Deer Crossing” road sign?

More later. I have to fight off an old lady and her seven kids… to make sure that Joshua get’s this “Talking Elmo” Doll he’s been seeing on TV… Thank goodness I know Jew-Fu! Oy!

Now Serving Happy Customer Number:

1,789,845 plus 1 grumpy old codger (who needs his mouth washed out with soap!) and a couple of stalkers. :)

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The Vault!

DANGER!! DANGER, Will Robinson!

For the record, let me make this perfectly clear...
Blogs are about opinions. And some of us, myself included, have strong ones.
Some of us, myself included, can't be counted on to be "politically correct" all the time. So be advised that I call 'em like I see 'em, and sometimes I use strong language to make a point...
If you don't like that, I suggest you change the channel. If you DO like that, I appreciate your patronage.
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Do you know a LEFTY Soldier who needs some “Strat Love”?

For some time now, (in fact, since 2009) we've been rehabbing and sending Lefty Fender Guitars and amplifiers to soldiers overseas.

Yes. We do Gibson's and Epi's too, but it's all about finding affordable "candidates" on a budget.

These axes are upgraded, stuffed into SKB TSA cases and then shipped out with all the goodies our paychecks will allow.

And every once in a while (about 25% of the time) a battery powered amplifier or (gasp!) a solid state or tube amp makes the trip, to insure that the whole squad can share the love that we're sending.

Yes. The amps get packed carefully into ATA cases and then... off they go!

We're NOT telling you this to ask for donations. We're trying to find hard-working men and women currently serving in harm's way... so that we can send them a gift to remind them that we love them and understand their personal sacrifices.

IF you have some old gear in a closet or laying around collecting dust, we'll be happy to rehab it for distribution to a soldier that needs some love.

If you know a LEFTY guitar playing American HERO, we wanna hear about it.

Why lefties? Because WE'RE lefties and we can work on and set up LEFTY guitars. And truth be told, lefties get left out. Lots of righty guitars in circulation. Very few lefties make it into the pool.

We think that sucks, so we're doing something about it, ourselves.

And, know that they'll never know where it came from. "Guitar GIfting" anonymously means just that. We don't need "atta-boys" or pats on the back... THEY do.

And we're gonna make sure they get them.

Feel free to contact us with candidates, or if you find something you think that we can use. We love doing this. And more importantly we know that they love it too.

Send Hate Mail Here: :)

renaissanceronin@gmail.com

Captain America would be proud!

The Secret Strat Project builds Fender and Gibson Guitars and then GIVES them away to US Soldiers serving our country overseas. You see, a little Maple, Alder, Rosewood and Ash can build a bridge all the way back home! If you'd like to help, please strum that beautiful Stratocaster with your mouse and follow the link!