The positives of my Aspergers

I have written so far on this blog about aspects of life that I struggle with so I thought it was time to balance it out a little and express what, in my opinion, are some of the positives of my Aspergers.

Firstly, I have an exceptional long term memory, particularly relating to conversations and auditory input. I can remember conversations as far back as my childhood with perfect clarity and can recite them verbatim if asked. While this can be a negative in some ways (I remember negative conversations/comments as well as positive ones and also it can get very frustrating when I can remember something clearly and the other person involved in that conversation denies that it ever happened or that they said a certain thing), I also like the fact that I can rely on my brain to remember the oddest of things and it’s a definite advantage in pub quizzes! It was also an advantage during my school years and I feel sure that, if it wasn’t for my long term memory skills, I wouldn’t have done as well as I did in my public exams!

Secondly, it has made me determined. If I want something, I apply myself over and over again until I get it. Unlike the stereotype of someone with Aspergers, I am not very strong at Maths and I only just passed my initial Maths GCSE taken at the age of 16 with a low E grade. I really wanted to go to university and I knew that the universal rule was that applicants to university needed at least a C grade in both Maths and English GCSEs so I retook my Maths GCSE twice in order to get that C. When I did finally get it, I was ecstatic! I have always persevered in situations too, even ones that I find challenging. Indeed I won a special prize for perseverance at my Year 11 Leavers Ceremony. I can be stubborn but it gets me to where I want to be so I am appreciative of the fact that I don’t give up easily.

Thirdly, as mentioned in my Welcome post, I have a flair for language. I believe that this is, in part, due to dyspraxia rather than Aspergers but my obsession with reading is a trait of Aspergers, in my opinion. I learned to read very early on in life-there is video footage of me reading the Sunday Times newspaper on holiday in Devon when I was 4. Not only was I reading but understanding fully what I had read too. It was nice to have that one area that I was talented at when going through school-I have always been good at reading and spelling. I can read a 400 page book in 2 hours. When I read, my mind goes into hyper focus mode and I can block everything else out and completely immerse myself in the book until it’s finished. I have over 200 books on my Kindle and the bookcase in my room is full of books too and that’s after giving a lot of them away to charity shops as there just wasn’t enough space for all of them. My flair for language meant that I gained very respectable grades in my English Language and Literature GCSEs and I went on to do English Literature A Level too. I enjoy writing (which is probably why this blog has 5 posts already!) and I feel that, as I can express myself so much more easily in writing, it is a good idea for me to have this blog so I can explain myself in a far more articulate fashion than I could if I was explaining it to someone face to face.

Lastly, I enjoy the fact that I am prone to obsessions and that I have a thirst for knowledge. I love to learn new things and like to keep myself updated with the main events that are going on in the world. I have also been able to use my obsessions as a helping hand in life. I am obsessed with medical conditions and special needs so I have used this to help me in my job at a special needs school. I believe that having Aspergers, at times, gives me a unique insight into how some of these students “tick” and why they are behaving in certain ways, which I can then share with my colleagues. I knew from the age of 13 that I wanted to work with children with special needs because I am so interested and fascinated in this area. I love going into work each day and I am blessed because I know that not a lot of people can honestly say that about their job.

So there you have it-what I see as the positives of my Aspergers. Living with Aspergers can be tiring, frustrating and emotionally draining but it is positives like the ones above that make me appreciate my Aspergers and make me against the idea of a cure (that is a topic for another day so I won’t get further into it because I could rant about it for ages!) I hope that I have been able to express that there are many positives to this diagnosis too and, although they may differ from person to person, we all have positive aspects of our personalities which can be attributed to Aspergers,

Half the time I feel like I LOATHE other people for being so mind numbingly self centered and ignorant. And especially for lacking emotional intelligence enough to show compassion instead of acting in a predatory manner, as soon as any weakness or difficulty is displayed in someone.

Even more so, I think, do I despise when the victim of bullying never gets the person in authority, like a manager, stopping this treatment -and instead, they support it by sitting back or otherwise allowing it AND/OR continuing to employ truly horrible people who deliberately cause disharmony, like one psychopathic individual I had the truly awful misfortune of having to work along side.

This individual was a bully to everyone there (except the young girls at the front, and probably because he secretly entertained wishes to have sex with them) including the actual boss and to his face. Yet, when those around them, including and especially the bosses, lack the spine and the strength of character to excise these cancerous tumors -everyone around them suffers. That workplace was unpleasant to highly unpleasant to work in, depending on whether it was your turn to cop this sociopaths mind fucking crap. He was not unlike Hannibal Lector in his uncanny talent for finding others’ weak spots and going after them with vigour. …And of course I was a favorite punching bag.

This is what is wrong with the world. How ass holes are permitted to maintain a facade of “normal” by virtue of their intimidating everyone around them, abusing meeker personalities so that what chances they had of fitting in are made that much harder. And then all the weak spineless jerks who permit all of this to go on because they lack the guts to stand up to such people. So the ones who should get supported, get abuse, and the ones who should be made accountable and punished with social rejection get to go on taking out their short comings on others.

It’s ok to be different or weak in society, you see; just so long as you mask it by being abusive to those who don’t, won’t or can’t hide it. And all the other weak morons just follow suit.