"We can live without religion
and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection." Dalai
Lama quote

"This is my simple religion.
There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy.
Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy
is kindness." Dalai
Lama

This PowerPoint Show is supposed
to be a brief dialogue between the Brizilian theologist
Leonardo Boff and the Dalai Lama. While I believe
the PPS is a fake, it's words of wisdom seen to be in
keeping with the quotes of the Dalai Lama I have read.
Click 'HERE' to see this PPS.

Feeling footloose and frisky,
a featherbrained fellow forced his father to fork over his
farthings. Fast he flew to foreign fields and frittered
his family's fortune, feasting fabulously with floozies and
faithless friends. Flooded with flattery he financed a full-fledged
fling of "funny foam" and fast food.

Fleeced by his fellows in folly,
facing famine, and feeling faintly fuzzy, he found himself
a feed-flinger in a filthy foreign farmyard. Feeling frail
and fairly famished, he fain would have filled his frame
with foraged food from the fodder fragments.

Finally, frustrated from failure
and filled with foreboding (but following his feelings)
he fled from the filthy foreign farmyard.

Faraway, the father focused on
the fretful familiar form in the field and flew to him and
fondly flung his forearms around the fatigued fugitive.
Falling at his father's feet, the fugitive floundered forlornly,
"Father, I have flunked and fruitlessly forfeited family
favor."

Finally, the faithful Father,
forbidding and forestalling further flinching, frantically
flagged the flunkies to fetch forth the finest fatling and
fix a feast.

Faithfully, the father's first-born
was in a fertile field fixing fences while father and
fugitive were feeling festive. The foreman felt fantastic as
he flashed the fortunate news of a familiar family face that
had forsaken fatal foolishness. Forty-four feet from the farmhouse
the first-born found a farmhand fixing a fatling.

Frowning and finding fault, he
found father and fumed, "Floozies and foam from frittered
family funds and you fix a feast following the fugitive's
folderol?"

The first-born's fury flashed,
but fussing was futile. The frugal first-born felt it was
fitting to feel "favored" for his faithfulness and fidelity
to family, father, and farm. In foolhardy fashion, he faulted
the father for failing to furnish a fatling and feast
for his friends. His folly was not in feeling fit for feast
and fatling for friends; rather his flaw was in his feeling
about the fairness of the festival for the found fugitive.

His fundamental fallacy was a
fixation on favoritism, not forgiveness. Any focus on feeling
"favored" will fester and friction will force the faded
facade to fall. Frankly, the father felt the frigid first-born's
frugality of forgiveness was formidable and frightful.

But the father's former faithful
fortitude and fearless forbearance to forgive both
fugitive and first-born flourishes.

The farsighted father figured,
"Such fidelity is fine, but what forbids fervent festivity
for the fugitive that is found? Unfurl the flags and finery,
let fun and frolic freely flow. Former failure is forgotten,
folly is forsaken. Forgiveness forms the foundation for future
fortune."

Since Proposition 8 passed in
California, much of Hollywood has been up in arms. Now,
they are singing and dancing, too, in a new Web video called
"Prop 8: The Musical."

The video was posted Wednesday
on FunnyOrDie.com, the video site co-founded by Will Ferrell
and Adam McKay. "Prop 8: The Musical" may be a 3-minute
Internet video, but it has a blockbuster cast including Jack
Black (who plays Jesus), Neil Patrick Harris, John C. Reilly,
Andy Richter, Maya Rudolph, Margaret Cho, Rashida Jones
and others.

There are names of 16 books of
the Bible in the paragraph below. See how many you
can find!!!

I once made a remark about the
hidden books of the Bible, it was a lulu, kept people looking
so hard for facts,and for others it was a revelation.
Somewhere in a jam, especially since the names of
the books were not capitalized. But the truth
finally struck home to numbers of our readers. To others
it was a real job. We want it to be a most fascinating few
moments for you. Yes, there will be some really easy ones
to spot. Others may require judges to help find them.
I will quickly admit it usually takes a minister to find one
of them, and there will be loud lamentations when it is
found. A little lady says she brews a cup of tea so she
can concentrate better. See how well you can compete.
Relax now, for there really are sixteen names of books of the
Bible in this paragraph.

xxxxxScroll down for the answerxxxxxHere it comesxxxxx

Books of the Bible - Answers

There are names of 16 books of
the Bible in the paragraph below. Here are the answers!!!

i once made a reMARH about the
hidden books of the Bible, it was a luLU, KEpt people looKING
So hard for fACTS,and for others it was a REVELATION.
somewhere in a JAM, ESpecially since the names of
the books were not capitalized. but the tRUTH
finally struck home to NUMBERS of our readers. to others
it was a real JOB. we want it to be A MOSt fascinating few
moments for you. yES, THERe will be some really easy ones
to spot. others may require JUDGES to help find them. i
will quickly admiT IT USually takes a minister to find one
of them, and there will be loud LAMENTATIONS when it is
found. a little lady says sHE BREWS a cup of tea so she
can concentrate better. see how well you can comPETE.
Relax now, for there really are sixteen names of books of the
Bible in this paragraph.

Cartoonist Ward Sutton created
an Internet sensation with the Boston Globe's publication
of his Tea Party Comics, a satiric look at America's comic-page
stalwarts, with a rightward spin......,....TopSubj: Books
Of The Bible Riddle (S424)
From: LABLaughsRiddles on 3/11/2005

There are 16 books of the Bible
in the following paragraph ...can you find them?

I once made a remark about the
hidden books of the Bible. It was a lulu; kept people looking
so hard for facts and for others it was a revelation.
Some were in a jam especially since the names of the books
were not capitalized, but the truth finally struck home to numbers of readers. To others,
it was a real job. We want it to be a most fascinating few
moments for you. Yes there will be some really easy ones to
spot. Others may require judges to help them. I will quickly
admit it usually takes a minister to find one of them,
and there will be loud lamentations when it is found.
A little lady says she brews a cup of tea so she can concentrate
better. See how well you can compete. Relax now for
there really are sixteen names of the books in the Bible
in this story

xxxxxScroll down for the answerxxxxxHere it comesxxxxx

I once made a re*mark* about
the hidden books of the Bible. It was a lu*lu; ke*pt people
loo*king s*o hard for f*acts* and for others it was a *revelation*.
Some were in a *jam es* pecially since the names of
the books were not capitalized, but the t*ruth* finally struck
home to *numbers* of readers. To others, it was a real *job*.
We want it to be *a mos*t fascinating few moments for
you. Y*es ther*e will be some really easy ones to spot. Others
may require *judges* to help them. I will quickly admi*t
it us*ually takes a minister to find one of them,
and there will be loud *lamentations* when it is found.
A little lady says s*he brews* a cup of tea so she can
concentrate better. See how well you can com*pete. R*elax
now for there really are sixteen names of the books in
the Bible in this story.

In taking a short-cut through
the pine woods in Florida you may discover an old cracker
general store in the boonies.

The owner is an elderly church
goin' man who lived by the scriptures. The store
always had two or three "older gents" that were always lazyin'
round on the front porch steps talking about "politickin'
an govmint" or how things used to be.

The storeowner was in the habit
of quoting Scripture every time he made a transaction,
and it was always a different verse. It got to where
the old men on the porch came in every time a customer showed
up just to hear and comment on what the verse was going
to be.

Well, one day, a Yankee tourist
passing through, came in and inquired about the price
of a Seminole rug that was hanging on the wall. and the
storeowner told him $400. The owner and the old men all knew
that it's true worth was about $200.

But the Yankee thought it over
and said, "I'll take it!", bought the rug and left the
store.

The local old men stared at the
owner in anticipation of just what possible Scripture
could follow such a shady transaction when the storeowner
looked up and declared,

"He was a stranger, and I took
him in."

TopSubj: What's
It Like Being A Christian? (S301b)
From: flovilla on 11/2/2002

It's like being a pumpkin.
God picks you out of the pumpkin patch, brings you in and washes
all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and
scoops out all the yucky stuff.

He removes the seeds of doubt,
hate, greed, etc. and then He carves in your new smiley face
and puts His light inside of you to shine for all to see.

Laura Schlessinger is a US radio
personality. Recently, she said that as an observant Orthodox
Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus
18:22 and cannot be condoned in any circumstance. The
following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident,
which was posted on the Internet:

This posting was also the basis
of a scene in 2000 season of West Wing.

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to
educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a
great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as
many people as I can. When some- one tries to defend the homosexual
lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some
of the specific laws and how to follow them.

1 When I burn a bull on the altar
as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for
the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They
claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2 I would like to sell my daughter
into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this
day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3 I know that I am allowed no
contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual
uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell?
I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4 Lev. 25:44 states that I may
indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they
are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5 I have a neighbour who insists
on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he
should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him
myself?

6 A friend of mine feels that
even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10),
it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't
agree. Can you settle this?

7 Lev. 21:20 states that I may
not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.
I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some room for negotiation here?

8 Most of my male friends get
their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples,
even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How
should they die?

9 I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that
touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I
still play football if I wear gloves?

10 My uncle has a farm. He violates
Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same
field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different
kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends
to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go
to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone
them? Lev.24:10-16). Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their
in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these
things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

An agnostic family moves into
a heavily religious neighbor- hood. The three sons are
out playing catch in the court where they live, when they ask
some of the other neighbor- hood kids to join them.
When they do this, the other children in the neighborhood
run away.

The oldest of the brothers chases
after them and finally catches up to one of them.
"Why won't you play with my brothers and I?" he asks

The other kid looked at him and
said; "Because you aren't baptised. We aren't allowed
to play with non-baptised kids." and with that he ran off.

The third brother ran back to
his other brothers and relayed the predicament to them.
After discussing the matter for a while, they decided that the
easiest thing to do would be to get baptised. The three
of them bolted through the town, towards the nearest church,
just 10 blocks away. However, when they got there, to their
dismay, the only person at the church was the janitor.

The brothers ran to him and told
him that they needed to be baptised immediately so the
other kids would play with them. "Follow me." said the janitor,
and he led them to the bathroom behind the sanctuary.
One by one, he dunked their heads in the toilet bowl.

After he was finished, he said
to them that they had been baptised and to go run and play
with the other kids. The boys walked out front of the
church, grinning from ear to ear. On the way home,
one of the brothers said "So, we've been baptised, but what division
of Christianity are we?

The oldest one said, "We're not
Kathlick, because they pour the water on you." "We're not
Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water." "We're
not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle water on you."

The littlest one said, "Didn't
you smell that water?!" They all joined in asking, "Yeah!
What do you think that means?" "I think it means we're Pisscopailians.

When minister Joe Wright was
asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone
was expecting the usual politically correct generalities,
but what they heard instead was a stirring prayer,
passionately calling our country to repentance and righteousness.
The response was immediate. A number of
legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In
six short weeks, the Central Christian Church had logged
more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls
responding negatively. The church is now receiving international
requests for copies of the prayer from India, Africa
and Korea.

Commentator PAUL HARVEY aired
the prayer on The Rest of the Story on the radio and received
a larger response to this program than any other
he has ever aired!!

THE PRAYER

Heavenly Father, we come before
you today to ask Your forgiveness and to seek Your
direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, "Woe onto
those who call evil good," but that's exactly what we have
done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed
our values.

We confess that: We have ridiculed the absolute
truth of Your Word and called it pluralism. We have worshiped other gods
and called it multiculturalism. We have endorsed perversion
and called it an alternative lifestyle. We have exploited the poor and
called it the lottery. We have neglected the needy
and called it self-preservation. We have rewarded laziness and
called it welfare. We have killed our unborn children
and called it a choice. We have shot abortionists and
called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline
our children and called it building
self-esteem. We have abused power and called
it political savvy. We have coveted our neighbor's
possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with
profanity and pornography and called it freedom
of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored
values of our forefathers and Called it enlightenment.

Search us, O God, and know our
hearts today; cleanse us from every sin And set us free.
Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent to
direct us to the center of Your will. I ask it in the
name of Your Son the living Savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen.

TopSubj: Four
Religious Truths (S262, S659)
From: RFSlick on 2/4/2002 and
From: From: tom on 8/26/2009 During these serious times,
people of all faiths should remember these four religious
truths: 1. Muslims do not recognize
Jews as God's chosen people. 2. Jews do not recognize Jesus
as the Messiah. 3. Protestants do not recognize
the Pope as the leader of the Christian
faith. 4. Baptists do not recognize
each other in the liquor store or
at Hooters.

TopSubj: The
First Senior Moment (S684)
From: darrellvip on 2/24/2010......TopSubj: Religious
King Riddle (S566b)
From: Puzzles And Brain Teasers on 11/21/2007 Source: (Removed from apuzzlezone.com) Five hundred begins it, five
hundred ends it, Five in the middle is seen; The first of all figures, the
first of all letters, Take up their stations between. Join all together, and then
you will bring Before you the name of an eminent
king.

TopSubj: Teaching
The Lord's Prayer (S264c)
From: mombear1 on 2/16/2002 A mother was teaching her three-year-old
The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime,
the child repeated it after the mother. Then
one night the child was ready to solo. The mother listened
with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to
the end: "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver
us some e-mail"...

TopSubj: Heavenly
Mathematics
From: flovilla on 6/23/2001 The best mathematical equation
I have ever seen:

1 cross + 3 nails ------------------ 4 given

That's the whole gospel message
simply stated

TopSubj: Lot
And His Wife (S207)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 1/19/2001 A father was reading Bible stories
to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was
warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his
wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son
asked, "What happened to the flea?"

TopSubj: How
The Jews Left Egypt (S138)
From: KMacinty on 09/20/1999 Nine-year-old Joey was asked
by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

"Well, mom, our teacher told
us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission
to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got
to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and
all the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie
to radio headquarters and call in an air strike.
They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites
were saved.

"Now, Joey, is that REALLY what
your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no, Mom, but if I told
it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

TopSubj: Gladly
The Cross-Eyed Bear (S138)
From: KMacinty on 09/20/1999 A child came home from Sunday
School and told his mother that he had learned a new song
about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly.

It took his mother a while before
she realized that the hymn was really "Gladly The
Cross I'd Bear,"

TopSubj: Who
Was Jesus' Mother (S120)
From: mbucher on 5/20/99 A ten-year-old, under the tutelage
of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable
about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother
by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin
Mary or the King James Virgin?"

TopSubj: 40th
Heaven's Gate Body Found (S12)
From: TNKRTEACH on 97-04-24 Apparently one of the less astute
members of the cult was found under the kitchen
sink, behind the Comet.

Some biblical scholars believe
that Aramaic (the language of the ancient Bible) did not
contain an easy way to say "many things" and used a term
which has come down to us as 40. This means that
when the bible -- in many places -- refers to "40 days," they
meant many days.

Steve Young, the San Francisco
49ers quarterback, is the great-great-grandson of Mormon
leader Brigham Young.

Facts about Americans. Did you
know that... 10% believe in the 10 Commandments. 82% believe in an afterlife. 45% believe in ghosts.

From: humorlist-digest V2 #70 on 98-03-20 What, in your opinion, is the
most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led
the Israelites all over the place for forty years before
they finally got to the Promised Land? a. He was being
tested. b. He wanted them
to really appreciate the Promised
Land when they finally got there. c. He refused to
ask directions.

From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/9 How do you get to the Heavens
Gate web site? Hit delete 39 times, then enter, space.

From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97 What does Do from Heaven's Gate
got on the baseball team in heaven? He has a position
in the outfield but is feeling out of place. He's got
nothing to scratch.

From: Bobbyt's Place What do John the Baptist &
Winnie the Pooh have in common? Their middle name. --
XYTrapp

From: humorlist-digest V2 #222 on 98-09-20 I was thinking about how people
seem to read the Bible a whole more as they get older.
Then it dawned on me: They are cramming for their finals.

From: JCary on 01/17/2000 (S160) On going to war over religion: "You're basically killing each
other to see who's got the better imaginary
friend," - Rich Jeni

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 1/10/2002
(S259) Tombstone Epitaph In a Thurmont,
Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go.

From: LABLaughs.com on 1/20/2002 (S260) "We are what we think. All that
we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts,
we make our world." -- Siddhartha Guatama
Buddha.

From: KMacinty on 8/24/99 (On going to war over religion:)
"You're basically killing each other to see who's got
the better imaginary friend."

From: LABLaughs.com on 2/19/2002 (S274c) "Be faithful in small things
because it is in them that your strength lies."
-- Mother Teresa

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/16/2003 (S345b) Kind words can be short and
easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." --
Mother Teresa (1910 - 1997)

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 1/17/2002
(S274c) "When you were born you cried
and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when
you die the world cries and you rejoice".

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/3/2002 (S283b) It was the experience of mystery
-- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

From: LABLaughs.com on 10/9/2002 (S297b) I do not consider it an insult,
but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do
not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that
is all that agnosticism means. -- Clarence Darrow, Scopes
trial, 1925.

From: KMACINTY on 1/17/2003 (S311) If you don't pay your exorcist
you get repossessed.

From: igiggle on 5/19/2003 (S329b) Everything that used to be a
sin is now a disease. -- Bill MaherFrom: Joke-Of-The-Day on 3/14/2005
(S425b - political2) He who loses money, loses much;
He who loses a friend, loses much more, He who loses
faith, loses all. -- Eleanor RooseveltFrom: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 1/5/2007
(S519b) "People who want to share their
religious views with you almost never want you to share
yours with them." -- Dave Barry

From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 6/7/2007
(S543b) I care not much for a man's
religion whose dog and cat are not the better
for it.

Q: What kind of lighting did
Noah have on the ark? A: Flood lights.

From: RFSlick on 98-08-13 Q: Why did Moses wander the
desert for 40 years? A: Because even back then men
wouldn't ask for directions.

From: JBCARY1 on 8/22/2001 (S238) Q: How do you get holy water? A: You boil the hell out of
it.