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Shahid Mira--A fairytale romance

They have a 13-year age gap between them, And their lives were worlds apart--but Bollywood's poster boy Shahid Kapoor and his lady love Mira Rajput make it work. Read all about it in this exclusive interview they did with Hello! India

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person....No two people one has met recently, espouse this reality more passionately, than the 23-year-young Mira Rajput, and her 13-year-older husband, Shahid Kapoor. While their own love story was still finding its valleys and peaks, flowing into new shapes and depths, they ushered in Project Misha, their little toddler daughter who is all of 14 months old, and has quickly learned to face the phone camera and the paparazzi lenses with lan. Like mother, like daughter?

Think about it. Mira Rajput herself has adapted to being a public personality in record time, even facing TV Prince Karan Johar's outrageous probes on prime time television... "Have you had sex in a car?" "Yes," she chipped, no holds barred. Not only did Shahid and Mira confess to sleeping together in their birthday suits, they disclosed many other intimate details an older generation would have blushed all shades of the rainbow, if even asked. Fascinatingly, Mira, with her total non-showbiz orientation, claims she didn't feel the slightest awkwardness doing that still-talked about TV interview. "How is that line of questioning getting under your skin?" she counter-questions. "But how comfortable an experience was that for you," one insists. And the pretty ing"eacute;nue-wife shares, "I think if you're comfortable with each other, you can be yourselves anywhere. I think sometimes Shahid and I really make other people uncomfortable with our PDA (public display of affection) but I don't think others bother us, really." One laughs and tells her, "Oh, so the awkwardness is the other way around!"

Mira, Mira on the wall...From being just another academic topper with vague notions about what tomorrow might bring, to suddenly facing a 'rishta' from a man known for his blistering talent, for having had the perseverance to rise up the ranks from background dancer to a top billing star-actor, with a galaxy of awards (and past lady-loves) to his credit... the demands on Mira Rajput go hand-in-hand with the privileges she has married into. As for Shahid... one can't help wondering how easy it is to juggle a domestic world with an ever-work-in progress acting career! In fact, even courting Mira was a unique experience. Shahid made his first appearance at the Rajput household, looking like his Tommy Singh character from Udta Punjab. He had to find the perfect balance between projecting a hardcore drug addict with a messed up personality - "which I did by getting 14 tattoos and dreadlocks" - and yet, within that framework, striving to acquire a certain Punjabi swag, and be convincing as a popstar. He couldn't just get out of the look, because he was meeting 'A Suitable Girl.' "Ya ya, you may laugh, but her father used to stare at me... like where is his daughter getting stuck? So I did have a tough time with her dad," laughs Shahid, at the memory.

We turn to Mira, who is very matter-of-fact. "I think the reaction first went on in my head for a very long time. You know my family and I, we consult each other a lot, and they told me to 'go ahead with what you feel is right.' It was a slow process, Shahid and I getting to know each other, and I think that is why we have the stability that we do. But one thing became very clear to me as we talked - that he was just a professional with a normal outlook, just someone who happened to be an actor. So sure we were perplexed, everyone was wondering, how is that world? But I don't think I was getting married to that world, I was getting married to a person. That was a critical difference."

That seven-hour ice breaker. Despite the 13-year age difference, and Shahid often referring to Mira as his 'baby-wife' in interviews, she was clearly able to engage him as a young lady. "We met, started talking; apparently we could talk a lot, and then it went on for seven hours! I think we connect at a human level: emotionally, our basics, our fundamentals, our values, those were the things we have in common," shares Shahid. "When she looks at their equation from that first ice-breaking chat to the way things are between them at present, Mira feels it is a very egalitarian partnership: "It's extremely 50:50 and it started that way. Yes we both are sounding boards to each other. Obviously, he is working and there is a lot more he has been exposed to, there are so many more decisions that he must take even at work, day to day. But we do discuss it all, and I think he does appreciate and value my opinion because it's different, I am an outsider, I am the audience in the relationship, he is the star. But fortunately, I think he is very receptive to me, I really enjoy it when we get together and we chat about things."

When families share a common spiritual path...Stories abound that their families both follow the world renowned Radha Soami sect, but the young couple don't wish to give that undue importance. "Yes, we are both vegetarian, we both follow the same spiritual path," shares Shahid, "I don't think there was any set notion, but we both come from the background where we learn it's important for somebody to be a good person. Beyond that, these spiritual paths are personal choices," he avers. Today, both manage to meet each other's families with baby Misha in tow. "We laugh about stuff, we share a lot of Misha's photos, she's pretty much what we talk about all the time right now, whether it's my parents, his parents, for me family has been extremely important. I have grown up in a home where we have always been very involved with each other's lives, I have two sisters and an extended family. After we have become a family, Shahid has become exposed to different ways to have fun. Earlier, he was always with friends, working. I feel now, he leads a more well-rounded life. After all, he started his career very young. I respect how hard he has worked to be a public figure, and I give him his creative space," confesses Mira.

Saying 'No' to the star-wife syndromeHaving looked at the histories of non-industry women married to stars, somewhere along the way, one has seen insecurities creeping in, even storms breaking out. Shahid shared that one of the qualities he most liked in his early conversations with Mira, was that "some people operate on security as a default browser. With her, she just seemed very secure in her head. That was one of the first things I noticed, and liked, about her." Ask Mira about this in a private moment when the shoot crew is not around, and she muses, "I think whether it's a man or a woman, being thrown into these passionate scenes, it's about their partner being comfortable with it. Shahid and I are extremely clear about our boundaries. And I think every marriage stands on a strong foundation and then there are limits which you don't cross. I need to respect the professional he is and not restrict him from being an artist and actor to his fullest potential. It's not like I haven't seen him in films where romance is central... Rangoon happened and it was very much when we were married. But I knew, it's work. It's inconsequential. You can't for example marry a pilot and say I don't want you to fly over Malaysia because MH17 crashed there!"

The joys of a solo creative journey Vs being a family man...Looking at the intense commitment required by Shahid's work life, one can't help but draw a parallel to his co-actor Ranveer Singh with whom he shares screen space in the soon to be released mega-production, Padmavati. While Ranveer chose to live by himself to fully get into his character Allaudin Khilji's 'haiwan' spirit, how did Shahid negotiate staying in character, minus the homework and isolation Ranveer imposed on himself, to give his all to the job? "I think it is the difference between a boy and a man. I have been a boy till two-and-a-half years ago, where I could do what I wanted, and my choices were limited to my references. Once you become a man, once you get married, you understand that there are so many things which are more important; you have to learn to work around it. It's not just about me." So for example, even while doing 16 hour days shooting for Padmavati, he would make a firm decision to leave the set, visit his wife, look into Misha's needs, and then return to work... even if he was dead tired. "I told myself, 'I am not going to let today go without me having that moment. And that need, desire and connectivity which I have with my family, made me mature in my choice. Most actors are self-oriented, I was also like that, but once you get married, you have children, life itself changes you." Just as well, Mira ADORES his character as Raja Rawal Ratan Singh of Chittor, in Padmavati. "I just love the way he is, such a regal and royal king, who respects his wife, respects the women in his life, and is an extremely passionate husband. And the relationship that he and his wife share, is that of true friends. So sometimes it can go very well, like the way it is right now!" she jokes, fully confident that the film is going to raise the bar for her husband's career trajectory. She has been on set and seen the transformation in Shahid. "I think my favourite movie of his before we met, was Jab We Met. It's a classic in Indian cinema now. But presently, I have to say without a doubt, playing a period role like he does in Padmavati, is something he has never done before. People are going to wonder... is this Shahid at all?"

Little Misha... a blessing from aboveDid Mira's decision to start a family in under two years post marriage, have more to do with the fact that Shahid, who married at age 34, was totally ready to start a family?"I think it's a bit of both, I think having a baby has really cemented our relationship," shares Mira. "There's a lot more understanding. I had an extremely difficult pregnancy, I was in hospital for three months, and then I was in hospital care at home for another month after that, and Shahid was by my side, every single day. He was my strength, he had to go for IFFA for two days and I was miserable, and I thought to myself and even told myself that 'Shahid, I never thought that I would feel this so soon, and I am miserable without you, I feel that I am nothing... I feel so alone. Those months made us bond so much, there was a completely new dimension to the relationship, we were bringing a new life into this world, and her life was at risk, and it was our responsibility to protect her and keep her going."

The empowered woman who has made traditional choices... at least so far...Ask Mira how easy was it for her to choose early marriage and early motherhood in a world where women are dashing up every career ladder with godspeed, and she insists one doesn't give up anything for domestic bliss. "Ummm... as of now, there are a lot of areas that I like to explore, I am extremely fond of food, cooking, things in the lifestyle space, travel," she muses. One can't help joking, if she loves cooking and he loves her cooking, well that is truly a recipe for a happy marriage! She laughs in acknowledgement. Then one coaxes her again ... what does she see herself doing once the novelty of being a full-time mom and homemaker wanes? "There are a couple of things I have on my mind, I speak to Shahid about it all the time, but I don't want to share till it comes to fruition. I think Misha is old enough now, so pretty soon I am going to start, and then have another baby," she laughs. Ask her if she sees herself doing something meaningful with her fame, and she says, "I do think when you are in a public space, you stand for more than just your opinions. I think there are many causes, beliefs you stand for, you represent so many people who believe in you, the fan clubs, people who love your work, so it's very important to not hurt their sentiments." She may agree to do endorsements which resonate with her, which serve a higher purpose. But acting? That doesn't quite seem to float her boat. "Cinema takes a lot of passion, talent, commitment. Which Shahid has."

The arranged marriage as a 21st century solutionShahid has dealt with his share of doubters, when he chose to find an 'arranged' partner. "I didn't find anybody I liked, so. I was single at age 28, 29, and I was single for four or five years, not finding anyone I liked enough to marry, to spend my life with. That was the only reason I thought of meeting someone in an arranged format. In my head I was like 'OK, I think I met most people in this city and it hasn't reached that point when one has gotten into a serious relationship and considered living a life together.' So if I want to meet somebody new or from a different universe, how am I going to do that? I am an actor. I can't just catch a flight and hope to bump into people. So when the idea was put to me... 'would you be open to meeting a girl in this format,' I was like 'Ok, if this is the only format in which it is going to happen, why not?' It's nice to meet someone knowing that if this works out, this is marriage! Otherwise, there are so many stages that you go through, things are fragile in a busy world, and easily fall apart. Somehow, I kept experiencing this. Sometimes it's an excuse, sometimes it's a fundamental and strong reason for it to fall apart. The arranged marriage is simpler - sometimes you jump into the boat and then you figure it out. But you are in the boat. That's the starting point."

Happily ever after...As a sign off, Shahid reminds us, "We were falling in love as we were getting married...", while Mira adds, "We're still falling in love, each and every day. Today is our first shoot for a magazine and we're still discovering what we like to do together. There's still that tingle inside my heart when we are clicking a photograph!" Touch!