Ask Jen: What Do You Look For In A Guy?

Jan 22, 2014

I get asked this pretty often, so I wanted to make it into a post. What do I look for in a guy? Well, I have a list. Sometimes people say lists aren’t realistic, which they aren’t to an extent. If you’re going to be particular when it comes to what a person looks like or what they do for a living, then you’re wasting your time. If it’s about character, that’s reasonable and setting standards. That being said, here is what I look for in a guy:

Faith & God – This is a deal breaker for me. I’m not saying you have to go to church every Sunday, or be perfect. But you have to at least believe and have faith in God. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for God, and I wouldn’t be who I am if it weren’t for the lessons I’ve learned through messages at church. Realistically, I would love going to church with my boyfriend. That would be amazing.

Family Man – If my family doesn’t like you, you DEFINITELY don’t stand a chance. My family is not just family to me, they’re my best friends. I’m not talking just Chris (brother) and my parents. My cousins, aunts and uncles AND they’re closest friends need to like you too (anyone who is a best friend to anyone in our family, is best friends with everyone in our family). So if you can’t get along with them, we don’t have a future. Also, if they don’t like you, you’ll know lol – they’re pretty straight forward. And if they do like you, I’m in trouble and you’re winning because my family is my weakness. It would be awesome if you are just as close with your family. Family is super important to me, but I understand there are certain situations where that’s not possible.

Goals– I come up with a new goal everyday, whether that be big or small. I want someone who always strives to be better. Someone who doesn’t settle, or stay comfortable.

Funny – Oh man, if you can’t make me laugh, you’re boring. Don’t try to be funny though, that’s even worst than not being funny.

Not a Club Head – I’ve already ranted about how much I hate the club and all that. If you consistently and genuinely enjoy going to the club, it won’t work. Once in awhile I can tolerate, but if it’s all the time, go away.

Doesn’t try to impress – BE YOU. Ugh, if I could tell you how many times a guy would drop the, “Oh so I’ve worked with so and so” or one time, “I want to take you out to a fancy restaurant” Get the fuck out of my face. I don’t like fancy or flashy. So I don’t care what kind of car you drive, how much money you have, what you do for a living, etc. I like chill. So don’t try to impress me, because I’m not going to go out of my way to impress you. You’re going to like me for me.

Someone Who Makes Me Better – I have my flaws, and there’s still a lot for me to learn. I want someone who is only one, not going to judge me, and two, makes me a better person.

Friend First – I have a lot of guy friends. But, never dated any of them. It wasn’t until recently that I realized how important and better it is to have a friendship first before a relationship. I want the person I’m with to be my friend first, and then let everything else happen overtime.

My Type – A lot of people asked what do I look for after looks. The thing is, yes, I notice looks, but you can be the best looking person I ever laid eyes on, but if you don’t have the other shit I mentioned before this point, I won’t find you attractive. I don’t want someone who is good looking with an ugly ass personality. Personality over everything. But, as for my type? I’m sorry to my fellow Filipino’s and Asians out there, but, I want – no, I will have mixed kids, and it’ll more than likely be a half black, half filipino one. Regardless, I’m going to end up with someone other than Asian. You can be half Asian half something else, but not full. Not that there’s anything wrong with Asians, I mean, I’m full Asian lol, but mixed babies, they melt my heart, so that’s what I’m having.