The QUEST: to find and eat the best homemade pies on the western seaboard. The MIGHTY STEED: a Honda subcompact, laden with surf gear. The SEEKERS: a 40-ish underachieving whatsit of a female, accompanied by steadfast mutt Mr. Hooligan. The POINT: none. LET THE QUEST BEGIN.

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Malama Market

15-2664 Pahoa Village Rd. / Pahoa HI / 96778

The plan here wasn’t to frequent the baked good aisle of chain grocery stores, however, due to an epic clusterfark of traffic planning, if you are lucky enough to reach Malama Market without a fender bender, any kind of celebratory pie sounds like a fine idea.

Malama Market is a regular ol’ grocery store situated in the ‘ugly’ ( yeah sure ) section of Pahoa, Hawaii. What sets it apart is the risk to life and limb trying to reach it. Some genius government planners, in an effort to improve the safety of reaching said mini mall, got bored and increased the traffic accidents near Malama by FOUR HUNDRED PERCENT. Maybe they were paid off by auto body shops. In any case what used to be a simple intersection or two of ho-hum ninety degree angles and straight lines now resembles urban planning by a hedgehog on acid.

For the love of god

My dear friend Robert and I took a risk and popped into Malama Market for taco shells and cheese. Upon parking in front of the store sans damage we were sweating bullets. Keep in mind the first week upon moving to town, Robert and William were in a car smash in the very same location, so arriving unscathed is a big deal. Damage-free, en route to the taco shells we passed by….PIE.

Giddy with relief, of course we nabbed dessert. Returning to Robert’s home in one ( technically two ) piece, I admit I was skeptical as the peach pie resembled peach smash more than anything else. Maybe EVERYTHING gets smashed on the way to this place.

Was I in for a surprise. You see, every restaurant in Pahoa, be it a finer dining establishment or a tin shack, is delicious. Malama Market peach pie smash was no exception. Robert and I took first bites and blurted out, ” Hey, this is really good!”

Like Malama’s pie, real hibiscus is insanely more delectable in person than as a smash sketch

I don’t think the deliciousness of that pie was a result of our post-adrenaline rush. It genuinely tasted great. Malama Market, I salute you!

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Surfing and Strolling near Malama Market

Surfing: in lieu of naming places, I’m naming books instead:

Waterman: The Life and Times of Duke Kahanamoku, by David Davis

Eddie Would Go: The Life and Times of a Hawaiian Hero and Pioneer of Big Wave Surfing by Stuart Coleman

Fierce Heart: The Story of Makaha and the Soul of Hawaiian Surfing, also by Stuart Coleman