10 July 2013

The Art of Handwriting

I once read somewhere that people who switch their handwriting style up a lot have psychotic tendencies. Whelp.

.... whelp...

...and another whelp...

So I guess I am psychotic. But we may have known that, right?

When I doodle, I tend to write the exact same phrase every single time (psycho much?) What is that phrase you ask?

"Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda on the side." I have that doodled all over my college notebooks. I guess psychotic is another word for awesome. #boom #inyoface

Well I'm here today to make my own handwriting rules.

Rule #1:

Are you Malibu Barbie?

Is your date to prom date Zach Morris? Or that manager from the Max?

Do you giggle after every third word?

Do you have a pom pom at the end of your pen?

No? None of those? Ok, well don't use hearts to dot your i.

Rule #2

Misspelling?

Dated it wrong?

Have an ugly handwriting day?

Throw that thing away. Your ruined it. Hang your head in shame because you really screwed this one up, big time.

Rule #3

Me: "Hey, would you mind if I borrow your pen?"

Inner monologue as I start writing:

"Oh it feels so good in my hand. I don't have to grip it too hard. Ohhh it has that tip that I love. Oh my gosh, this ink just flows so freely, just the way Snickers Bars flow all over Jessica Simpson's big ole booty. Good lord, it is like these words are writing themselves. I may be in heaven. If I don't steal this pen then I may never see it again? We will be forever separated. What if no one throws the pen a birthday party? What if no one is there to celebrate the pen's bat mitzvah? What if the pen's owner beats it and doesn't leave water out for the pen when she leaves? I better steal this pen and give it a good, warm home."

Rule #4

If you are going to take the time to write a handwritten note, be sure to really put some effort into it. Your reader will appreciate it. This is just a sampling of ways to spice up your handwriting for your reader. You could also use (but not limited to)...

Bubble letters

Stick figures

Lightning bolts

Chinese symbols

Pig Latin

Clouds

Sunshine coming out of the top right corner

A series of smileys

A billion stars over and over again

Rule #5

54 comments
:

Thank you for the laugh this morning! :) My everyday handwriting hasn't changed much over the years, but when I doodle I definitely switch it up! And as for hearts over the i's - that drives me crazy too!

Lol I love your handwriting! And I always want to steal pens when they wrote well! & for what it's worth I've read a LOT of boys v girl handwriting as a teacher and the tiniest handwriting ever was this girl and it was a girl - I just don't get it ! I had to strain my eyes to see what the heck was going on!

In school I was always changing my handwriting. I would change the way I wrote my a's and r's and t's. And I'm pretty sure men should be required to take a class that teaches them how to write bigger. I aint got time to squint my eyes to read tiny shit.

This is so funny! And what the hell is up with chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side?! I have the worst handwriting. In 6th grade my teacher told me I needed to be a doctor because my handwriting was already so bad. I became a peon that sits behind a computer all day and doesn't have to write...booyah teach! Oh wait...

Haha! My doodles consist of mostly words and I constantly change up my handwriting. (Graphic designer problems) When a college prof told us this was the sign of a serial murderer, I totally looked like a deer in headlights.

I'm definitely a pen stealer if I like the way it writes. And then I hoard them like a crazy. I have one pen I only use to sign things because it writes sooo smooth. I HATE ruining the first page of a notebook. It's so upsetting.

HAHAHA! I almost spit out my morning coffee while reading this. And oh man, I am the biggest pen thief. I can't help it! When a pen just works for you, there is no going back. I've even procrastinated grading papers because I couldn't find a pen that seemed suitable. But seriously, Chicken soup with a side of soda? What the?

Hilarious. absolutely. When i find a pen i like, i act as if it isnt 1/32937493 that came from the package with many more of the same. and for some reason i dont have the brains enough to look at what it is, take a picture, i dont know figure out where to get more so i don't have to act like amanda bynes on twitter when it runs out of ink.

I went through a stage in high school where I decided that I would write everything in capital letters very neatly and it took me forever to write anything. Now I'm working I just write notes so quickly that I'm pretty sure I've made my own aplhabet

Freaking LOVE this post so so much. Been doodling words a lot lately, but I stick to my first, middle, and last name along with my hubby's first, middle, and last name and have recently begun including our future kids names. BAHAHA

Rule #3 is me, for sure. I'm a notorious pen thief at work - to the point where people are hesitant to lend me a pen and if one of theirs does go missing they come looking for me first. What can I say, I love a good pen!

Aaaahaha this is so spot on!! And when I first heard that about people with multiple handwritings being psychotic I was like..oh shit. I just could not settle on a way to write anything all throughout school. Then somehow when school was over and I stopped writing so much I guess I figured it out, because when I went back to grad school all of my notebooks looked the same! I guess I was cured!

ahhhhh i'm not alone! i used to practice my handwriting for hours. at one point in my life (5th grade or so) i decided it would probably be a good idea to know how to write backwards and upside down. ya know, just in case. total weirdo!

This is so true, I love it! I had a new notebook I had brought back to France from the States (notebooks in France suck hard... they aren't lined, they're graphed) and I was waiting to use it for something special, and then my dumb husband took it out and wrote on the first page with his stupid boy chicken scratch. I FREAKED OUT! He now thinks I'm psycho but I'm pretty sure you get it :)

You are freaking HILARIOUS!!! Girls be like + boys be like? Yep, Venus be like RIGHT ON! Haha! And my little pet peeve-- I NEVER EVER write on the first page of a notebook. I always leave it blank :) Always!