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I think INTJ. I identify with you a lot and your thought processes appear to be extremely similar to mine but more mature. INTJs have the odd trait of being inherently discontent and yet almost compelled to go in a single direction (as much as we may occasionally drift off that path to investigate random things). Some seem to cement the cliche INTJ stereotypes as they get older/more mature and some seem to focus more on socialization.

The INFJ traits that you mentioned a few pages back in that list are not incompatible with the INTJ type. Although the INFJ is more outwardly value driven, it seems to me that passion and deep emotion/values drives us just as much. INTJs don't have to be hard, or rough, or nerdy scientists.

I think that you have simply become comfortable with yourself and your position in the real world and have lost a lot of fear that you may have had previously, which makes you less likely to have to think as much before you act and more able to focus on the non traditionally T motives. You can stop worrying about how to help/protect yourself and worry about doing so for others. In regards to your first post Enneagram comment, that is almost cliche Type 5 ascension to 8.

Here are some excerpts from my Enneagram book which discusses this concept in relative detail:

The Direction of Integration: Five Goes to Eight

They have incorporated their perceptions of the world into themselves by identifying with them instead of observing them. They no longer identify just with their thoughts, but also with the objects of their thoughts.

...

Their confidence will come not from some collection of skills or some vast body of information that they have memorized, but from a real connection with their presence in the world. They then experience themselves not as separate from the world, not as a helpless speck, but as a powerful, integral part of it.

...

Thus, integrating Fives realize that they are able to contribute something worthwhile to others.

In regards to ENTP...I think that it would make sense that after feeling you've developed the necessary amount of expertise in whatever your interest is, you turn your focus outwards and develop more interest in a broader array of topics, combined with a more outgoing overall feeling due to increased confidence in the world. But I think that is like being an ENTP on the outside...but without necessarily having the ENTP thought process.

I think that, particularly on the internet, it is easy to see INTJs who never advance beyond the typical personality page version and it takes real confidence to express the non-intellectual side. So basically, I just think you are a very mature INTJ....and that's rare enough to cause you to seriously question it.

Also, I have no doubt that I am an INTJ because I am around an INFJ constantly and have discussed it in depth, but I can relate with everything you put in post #53 with the exception of genuine warmth for people in general....but I expect to develop this eventually. I'm just not at that point yet.

Originally Posted by Night

She's a far better human being than I'll ever be. I try to mirror many of my compassionate tendencies against her general example.

...and that seems exactly like something I would say...

(except not about your wife, lol)

"You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

Also, I have no doubt that I am an INTJ because I am around an INFJ constantly and have discussed it in depth, but I can relate with everything you put in post #53 with the exception of genuine warmth for people in general....but I expect to develop this eventually. I'm just not at that point yet...

But I think that is like being an ENTP on the outside...but without necessarily having the ENTP thought process.

Meta is clearer an INTJ in my eyes.

Digest posted this on INTPc on a thread about NTs on NTs, about the ENTP's modus operandi.

While it is strictly tongue-in-cheek and ascribing somewhat to the scatter-brained stereotype of the ENTP, the truth of it is ENTPs are centred when there is chaos and operate well responding with a flow. We're apt to feel more antsy in stillness.

You're somewhat more considered and detached than that, hence my earlier questions. I've a feeling what makes me feel alive would very well make you panic.

So what makes you feel alive, Night?

Edit: There was another thread some eons back about mapping your mind: have you tried that?

I waver between whether Night is seeking affirmation, or distraction, or is it a neutral enquiry, to be honest. It feels like the person is undergoing some stress so there's a considerable bit of shadow emerging, that's all. So it isn't just an answer that's being sought here... more a voice seeking some release via opening some veins, maybe.