3 boys, a handful of careers, lots and lots of pro bono work

In which I start a grudge match with an entire country…

I’m not holding out hopes for much support here, but I am starting a grudge match against the country of Italy. Anyone want to jump on the bandwagon with me? No? Okay. What if I made an exception and said you could still like the people, the art, the music, the food, the wine, the coffee, the lingerie and the shoes?

That’s better. My best friend is moving to Italy in a matter of months now & I’m not taking it well. I’ve decided to boycott Italy – again, except for when I visit her & except for the people, the art, the music, the food, the wine, the coffee, the lingerie and the shoes….so, really more just the concept of Italy & of Sarah moving there.

Everyone is taking Facebook quizzes, with the result: everyone I know should live in fracking Italy, according to the “What country should you live in?” quiz.

Hey, Facebook, stop ending questions with prepositions & please stop suggesting that people I like leave the country because it is “better” than here – I’m sure Italy is better than suburbia, but I refuse to let something so irrational as reality get in the way of my feelings on the topic!

I’m not saying I won’t go to Italy. I’m just holding a grudge. The truth is that I am going to miss this friend more than I can say, more than I can blog about in any serious manner…I cannot see how my stay at home mommy life in suburbia will not work without this woman, people…. I stumped. I can’t figure out how I am going to make it work. She has henna hair & a nose ring.If you have a tattoo, body piercings or a broomstick, please move here so I can be friends with you and we can be safe at the playground together. Even if you are Italian, I won’t hold it against you. (Bring wine!) Last night, I had nightmares that the women at the playground cornered me because I was friendless at our upscale park. I a totally pathetic, I know. (Bring chocolate!)

I have other friends here (hey people, love you! let’s have tea and cookies!) but some are working, some live a little further afield, some do not cuss as much as me because they are better Christians, and some have kids not quite the same ages so they are running in different circles – soccer practices & school pick-ups, not play dates & library story time….Sarah, she’s my person.

You suck, Italy. I hope you appreciate the gem you are getting to enjoy for three whole years. When I get over their to visit, you better not be making her cry or I’ll eat all your chocolate & drink all your wine.

I totally hate that bitch Italy too….(oh wait, I better not talk too much smack because I’m going to be the friendless freak who gets desperate enough to hear some English and shows up at the ‘Expats woman’s club’ only for that to go as well as….well…a day at our lovely community park?)I am going to miss you so so so much.

I totally hate that bitch Italy too….(oh wait, I better not talk too much smack because I’m going to be the friendless freak who gets desperate enough to hear some English and shows up at the ‘Expats woman’s club’ only for that to go as well as….well…a day at our lovely community park?)I am going to miss you so so so much.

Yes, life will be different for you without Sarah around for the next three years…I hope that we can cross paths more often and that if you ever feel like sharing wine or chocolate that you will give me a call!Also, this tattoo talk is too funny!!

Yes, life will be different for you without Sarah around for the next three years…I hope that we can cross paths more often and that if you ever feel like sharing wine or chocolate that you will give me a call!Also, this tattoo talk is too funny!!

my BFF and i have lived apart for TEN years now. for awhile at least we were both on the East Coast, but then i moved to London and then LA. Just be sure you both have a good international calling plan.i don’t have a tattoo, but we’d still be friends.

my BFF and i have lived apart for TEN years now. for awhile at least we were both on the East Coast, but then i moved to London and then LA. Just be sure you both have a good international calling plan.i don’t have a tattoo, but we’d still be friends.