the donor debate – Sami Lukis isn’t flying solo

Sami Lukis certainly isn’t the only woman taking the IVF journey for a baby by use of a donor. But her very public quest for a child has sparked debates in so many directions, bringing up every argument under the sun – career versus children, younger versus older, natural fertility versus IVF and so on. If you aren’t familiar with the situation – the Sydney Morning Herald shared her story on monday – ‘Why I need a sperm donor to become a mum.’

I have seen an increase in women coming into the clinic in their forties desperate to have a baby. As women, I believe, we all deserve the choice to have children. As humans, we all have the choice to live healthy lives also. But the choices we make every day affect the future days ahead and as we (as humans generally) continue to abuse our bodies, is there any wonder lack of fertility is on the up? I will go as far to say that our lifestyle choices, contraceptions and stress are making us increasingly less fertile.

Then you look at a case like Sami’s – she is saying that she hasn’t found Mr Right and that having a baby now is far more important than finding him. I absolutely get her point but here is a scary fact; one (of many) side effect of the pill is its ability to alter our perception and attraction to an appropriate partner. I will elaborate more on this in a separate blog post soon – but in short, as the pill alters our normal hormone rhythm, it also alters our bodies ability to be attracted to an appropriate fit. This discovery intrigues me and I find myself asking the question – are we being drawn to partners that don’t reproductively fit? More on that soon.

As women, I know we can do it all – wife/partner, career, household, lifestyle, sister, friend and so on. There are hundreds upon hundreds of women out there who are living proof. What I question on a daily basis however, is – are we supposed to do it all? Are women built physically to be superwomen? Now I don’t have a definite answer – but I do have my observation which allows me to comment. Everyday, I see extremely busy women trying to fit fertility in. What we are failing to realise is that is isn’t something that we can simply squeeze into our loins. It is a gift, given to us as women. We can choose what we see fit to do with it, but if we fail to respect it in our prime years, it isn’t going to pay you any respect back as time goes by and, just as a bean shoot withers and shrivels up without nourishment, so does our fertility.

Thankfully it is never too late to slow down the clock. There are so many things you can do to offer your body a second chance and increase not just fertility but overall body function. Your fertility is only one aspect of your health – often the first to be affected by lack of wellness – your body talks to you, it’s simply a matter of learning how to decode to what it is saying.

For women in their forties trying to conceive – egg quality is a major factor because as years go by the ovarian reserves decrease. Not only do the number of follicles in the ovaries decrease but the quality of follicles also diminish. This is our bodies natural fertility mechanism. As we get older, our body gets less fertile because it knows we are more fit for a child at 20 than 40. This decrease is perfectly normal. This is ageing – and in a world that is all over the anti-aging game, we seem to find it difficult to accept that each day we grow older and isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

I encourage you to ‘eat yourself fertile’ by adding adequate amounts of protein, carbohydrates and fats to the diet. Drink good quality filtered water, practice regular exercise not just for fitness but to rid the body of daily stress and trauma. Stress builds up in the body and effectively gets ‘stored’ when not dealt with correctly – this hugely impacts our fertility. Increasing egg quality is something that chinese medicine does very well. By the use of treatments in the clinic we have seen many successful pregnancies naturally and via IVF.

Moral of the story – it’s never too late to practice good health and lifestyle habits. Work less, love more, eat more, drink less, stress less, love life. It’s the winning combination for a more fertile you.

I wish Sami all the best in her journey – she has a wonderful team on board which includes natural fertility practitioners – she is giving herself a great chance of conception and a healthy pregnancy.

4 Comments

March 24, 2011By hayley blease1:29 pm

There is so much more to being a mother than the process of falling pregnant. Sami’s life will be a journey throughout this process and also after she has her little one. It was a long journey for myself with failed attempts at falling pregnant for over 2 years. I was booked into IVF, and ironically fell pregnant a week before starting the IVF program. Now after having 2 little people I find myself a single parent. Sometimes when we have a partner falling pregnant is not easy, and I was at that stage in my late 20s.

I am very blessed to have 2 beautiful children, and I also agree with Sami, she does have the rest of her life to find mr right. And she will soon find out that being a mother will fill a hole for her. She has every right to fill this hole, as do any other women, be it high profile or not. I hope that her journey is smooth, and she is able to have her baby.

I was also adopted. There are many ways that Sami can have herself a baby! I too wish her all the best.

Your statement that ‘the pill alters our normal hormone rhythm, it also alters our bodies ability to be attracted to an appropriate fit’ needs to be made more widly known. I’d love to hear more about it as I rub shoulders with young women wanting to take the best possible care of their bodies.