New year same struggle

Happy New Year friends! It’s been a few months since I updated the group but the reason is there’s no real update. I’m still not pregnant. Woop dee doo! In non-baby related news Mariel has started a masters certificate program to be a Nursing Home Administrator and as usual I couldn’t be more proud. I am the luckiest to have such an intelligent and driven woman by my side. Between our full time jobs, rugby, her school and her internship starting in June, I’m going to have a lot of free time on my hands. I do enjoy my alone time but too much and I get all depressed. With that in mind, my plan is to sew, exercise and read more books. I don’t know how to sew so I’m going to start with a few simple patterns and take on more complicated patterns from there. Wish me luck!

So in case you want to hear all the TTC details, we’ve moved onto an anonymous known donor and filled out all the legal paperwork with an attorney. Since our 3 failed IUI’s with frozen sperm, we felt that the missing puzzle piece may have been the fact we’re using frozen goods over fresh. You can’t beat fresh!

Moving on with fresh sperm, insemination #4 in November was a bust…and so was #5 in December. During the two week wait of try #4 I experienced what was called “breakthrough bleeding” and the doctor put me on progesterone suppositories…at first I was like does this go in the front or the back? From now on I have to use those after insemination until I begin my cycle. (or until I get pregnant at which point I’d need to be on them for weeks!)

Looking back we were so confident we’d be pregnant by now. Gearing up for try #6 in February and we’re tired of this but golly are we still hopeful. It has to be our time soon right? RIGHT? The money spent is annoying but that’s nothing compared to the emotional toll it’s taken. I was really really down around the holidays and popping my sisters Xanex like there’s no tomorrow but the last few weeks I’ve felt very calm. (and pill free all you worry warts out there reading this)

A friend raved to me about her acupuncturist so I was like what the hey – I’ll give it a shot. I am so thankful I did because it’s done wonders for my outlook and overall well being. Wonders! We also had another sit down with our doctor and she expressed how hopeful she is for us as well and how confident she is that I will get pregnant. My outlook now is just peace that my time will come. We will be mothers. I am a temple with my door open to all the goodness and positivity the world has to offer.

Try #6 next month will be my first medicated cycle. Doc prescribed me Femara so we’re going to do it. This was suggested to us a few cycles ago but we’ve been hesitant as it increases the chance for multiples and we only want one child, not 3! But at this point, I’m like screw it give me all the babies!

Wish me luck guys. I need a miracle to rain down on me from the heavens.