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September 9, 2012

[Pakistani newspapers routinely carry articles about couples who faced violence as a result of marrying without their families’ consent. In one recent case, The Express Tribune reported last month that a couple, Almas Khan and Shamim Akhtar, were killed in Chakwal,Punjab, over the weekend of Id al-Fitr, the holiday ending Ramadan.]

ByMeghan Davidson Ladly

KARACHI, Pakistan — Nusrat Mochi, now 25, left her parents’ home one day to go
to work and never returned. Instead of starting a job as a domestic worker, she
ran away to begin a new life, against her family’s wishes, with a husband of
her choosing rather than the one they had chosen for her. Her parents’ wrath
has trailed her ever since.

In the four years since she and her husband, Abbas Bhatti,
now 27, eloped, they have moved twice to escape threats to their lives, they
say. Even today, with two small children, they try to keep the location of
their home a secret. If threats were not enough, Ms. Mochi’s parents also
brought a legal case charging that Mr. Bhatti had kidnapped her.

“I don’t care about my father and mother,” Ms. Mochi said,
sitting in her two-room house and cradling her youngest child in her lap. “When
they are sending some person to kill me, how can I?”

Their story illustrates the conflicts some women encounter
in Pakistan when choosing what are known here as freewill marriages.
It also shows how women are increasingly asserting their rights against the
traditions of forced marriage and parental authority, implicitly challenging
one of the most powerful institutions in Pakistani society.

Though some form of arranged marriage remains the most common
way for Pakistanis to find spouses, marriage without the consent of a woman’s
guardian was legalized in 2003. The change in the law has created a larger
opening for many women to claim their independence, using the courts and the
local news media. Ms. Mochi’s parents’ suit was defeated in a Karachi court in April.

The tactics have given more visibility to a problem long
considered largely a private matter.

“Things are changing; the girls are becoming bolder, they
are continuously taking steps, and they are not afraid to die,” said Mahnaz
Rahman, resident director of theAurat
Foundation,a women’s
rights organization active throughout Pakistan. “They know that they will be killed, but even then they
are taking these steps because they can’t conform to the values of their
parents. They are the girls of this modern age.”

When a woman disagrees with her parents’ choice of husband,
she has few options, Ms. Rahman said. If she wants to marry someone else, the
two must elope and leave the family home behind. By leaving the home, though,
the daughter is considered to have dishonored her family, and that is where
culture, custom and the legal system intersect with retribution.

Parents frequently press kidnapping charges to regain
control of a renegade daughter. Such cases can engulf entire families, as the
police will often seize property and detain relatives of the accused man.

When they met and fell in love, Ms. Mochi and Mr. Bhatti
were neighbors in Gulshan-e-Iqbal, a section of Karachi. The complication was evident from the start. Ms. Mochi
had been promised since birth to her father’s cousin, 15 years her senior. Her
family refused to end the engagement.

Her parents have since moved back to their ancestral home,
a village in the Rajanpur district of Punjab Province, and could not be reached
for comment.

The couple secretly married in a Karachi city court on Aug. 11, 2007, then waited until Mr. Bhatti was able to save money and
secure a home for them in another part of the city before making their escape
the following year.

Ms. Mochi’s father soon began harassing Mr. Bhatti’s father
for the return of his daughter or some monetary compensation. Eventually, the
family charged Mr. Bhatti with kidnapping for ransom.

In court, Ms. Mochi was able to testify that she had not
been coerced and could produce the affidavit she had signed on their wedding
day declaring that the decision to marry was her own.

Such affidavits have become crucial tools in conflicts over
freewill marriages. Not only are they produced in court to validate these
unions, but they are also presented by women to local Sindhi-language
newspapers as “freewill marriage notices,” subverting the traditional concept
of the marriage announcement to fend off accusations of abduction and adultery.

The sanction against freewill marriage “has neither to do
with law nor with religion,” Ms. Rahman said. “It has to do with culture. It
has to do with lack of education.”

Most of the cases Ms. Rahman sees come from rural,
impoverished areas of SindhProvince, where tribal councils, or jirgas, hold more influence
than state courts. For women who have married without the consent of the family
or who have refused the spouse picked for them, community justice is often
worse than a long court battle.

Pakistani newspapers routinely carry articles about couples
who faced violence as a result of marrying without their families’ consent. In
one recent case, The Express Tribune reported last month that a couple, Almas Khan
and Shamim Akhtar, were killed in Chakwal, Punjab, over
the weekend of Id al-Fitr, the holiday ending Ramadan.

Ms. Akhtar’s father had registered a kidnapping case with
the police after the couple eloped. The family contacted their daughter and her
husband, saying the pair would be forgiven if they returned. When they
complied, they were shot and their bodies strung from a tree.

These killings, called karo-kari in Sindhi, are a constant
threat for women who enter into freewill marriages. The women are considered
dishonorable, or kari, and become the targets of male relatives looking to
restore family prestige. The men, too, can be targets.

Even when such cases are investigated, the killers often
escape prison sentences. Under Islamic criminal law, which applies to murder
cases in Pakistan, victims’ heirs or family members are entitled to pardon a
perpetrator in exchange for monetary compensation. Since most karo-kari
killings are committed by close relatives, there is often pressure to forgive
the perpetrator, who then goes free.

Such realities did not discourage Ms. Mochi from making her
choice. She was, she said, too consumed by anger on the day she left home. “If
they are not allowing me to get married, than I will do it,” she recalled
telling herself.

Mr. Bhatti is trying to negotiate an end to the feud so the
couple can live in peace, but his wife’s family is demanding 200,000 rupees, or
$2,110. He earns 200 rupees a day. Still, he says, he and his wife are content.
“We are happy with our every decision,” he said.

[Relations
between the two countries have improved in recent months, and trade has been
increasing. The visa changes are meant to build on that by increasing contacts
between Indians and Pakistanis in the hopes of instilling more trust. Some
previous agreements to improve relations, however, have stumbled in being
carried out.]

BySalman Masood

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan— Pakistan andIndiasigned a new visa agreement on
Saturday, easing restrictions for travelers in what was seen as a step toward
warming relations between the rival South Asian countries after years of
heightened mistrust and hostility.

The agreement was signed by S. M. Krishna, the Indian
minister for external affairs, and Rehman Malik, the Pakistani interior
minister, in Islamabad.

The visa requirements have been strict in the past because
of suspicions on each side. Among other changes, the agreement will exempt
travelers over 65, children under 12 and businessmen from reporting to the
police during their travels.

Relations between the two countries have improved in recent
months, and trade has been increasing. The visa changes are meant to build on
that by increasing contacts between Indians and Pakistanis in the hopes of
instilling more trust. Some previous agreements to improve relations, however,
have stumbled in being carried out.

Mr. Krishna, in Pakistan for a three-day tour, has met with top government
officials, including President Asif Ali Zardari and Prime Minister Raja Pervez
Ashraf.

Indian and Pakistani officials have offered optimistic
statements about the nations’ relations. “We must learn from the past,” Mr.
Ashraf said Friday in his meeting with Mr. Krishna. “We cannot change our
neighbors.”

Pakistan’s foreign minister, Hina Rabbani Khar, called the new visa
agreement “the first step in normalization of relations with our neighbor.”

Mr. Krishna and Ms. Khar covered a broad range of issues in
their talks, but it was not immediately clear if they made headway in
addressing mutual irritants.

The most volatile issue, Kashmir,
remains at the center of discord between the countries and shows no signs of
resolution. Officials say they are continuing their discussions over the
disputed Himalayan territory, which has led to wars in the past.

On Saturday, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh of India — who supports the visa changes — made clear that security
remained a big concern. According to the Indian news media, he said there had
beenincreased
attempts by militants to infiltratethe de facto border that divides Kashmir.

Frictions also continue over the 2008 Mumbai terrorist
attacks, for which India has blamed Lashkar-e-Taiba militants based in Pakistan. India wants swift prosecution of suspects arrested in connection
with the attacks. A trial of seven Lashkar-e-Taiba suspects is under way in Pakistan, but critics say its progress has been stalled by frequent
adjournments.

For its part, Pakistan wants India to move quickly on disputed territories beyond Kashmir,
including the Siachen Glacier. Pakistan also is pressing for India to remove nontariff barriers to trade.

Despite continued tensions, Pakistani politicians and
Indian officials said that a step-by-step approach to repair ties was
essential.

“We will not be held hostage to history,” Ms. Khar said.

Pakistan has sent a strong message to India by increasing trade ties, she said. Bilateral trade
between the two countries was only $300 million in 2004, but increased ninefold
to $2.7 billion in 2011, and is expected to grow further.

In his remarks, the Indian foreign minister stressed that
terrorism was dangerous to both countries.

“We agreed that terrorism poses a continuing threat to
peace and security,” Mr. Krishna said. “The Pakistani side reiterated its
commitment to bring all perpetrators of the Mumbai attacks to justice
expeditiously.”

He said Mr. Singh would visit Pakistan when “he feels something worthwhile will come out of the
visit.” There is speculation that Mr. Singh might go to Pakistan by the end of the year.