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Thursday, 22 August 2013

WordPress Daily Prompt: Viral

The New York Times is going to feature your blog on its home page, and you’ve been asked to publish a new post — it’ll be the first thing tens of thousands of new readers see. Write it. Photographers, artists, poets: show us FIRST.

Readers of the New York Times, if you take
a pin and stick it into the middle of Europe on your atlas, somewhere between
France, Germany and Italy you will find us. Almost eight million people called
the Swiss. To be quite honest about a million are not exactly Swiss,
immigrants, but since when does New York only have New Yorkers? So we are
similar. If you go further and take microscopic view of Switzerland, you will
find we have a capital town somewhere in the middle, called Bern and if you
blow this up you will find our Zytglogge Turm, a clock tower which draws
tourists with their cameras. There are days when you only hear English with an American
accent spoken. We also have a parliament building and a parliament, but such
trivial matters are not so important. You have a president as well, Mr. Obama,
ah yes of course, but he does not live in New York, but in a town named after
your first president Mr. Washington.

Who our first president was? No you are wrong, it was not William Tell and
Gessler was an Austrian. I know it is all near together and the Hollywood
movies showed it differently. We do not wear leather trousers, hit our knees
when we dance (both Bavaria, Germany), or make cuckoo clocks, also a German
thing from the Black Forest. Julie Andrews did not make The Sound of Music in
the Swiss Alps, based on the signing exploits of the Trapp Family, they were
Austrian.

Today I am writing to my many fans on the other side of the pond to say do not
believe everything you see at the movies or read in the newspapers. Journalism
tends to mislead the average reader at the price of sensationalism. If a New
York journalist was reporting on the hero deed of William Tell (who may not
have existed) when he shot the apple from his son’s head, it would have been illustrated
with a photo showing the success of the mission, an apple pierced by a Swiss
made authentic arrow. Of course the photo would have been composed by photo
shop before William Tell actually took the shot, in case that he missed.
Unfortunately many historic truths have been deformed in this way.

Did Davy Crockett really wear a hat made of Coonskin? It looked good in the
film.

It is an honour for an Angloswiss to write in this esteemed newspaper, a
leading article, having her talents and gifts of journalistic fact reporting at
last recognised. This, especially, being a descendant of the original settlers
in these United States of America (named after Amerigo Vespucci, an Italian
citizen).

Due to the fact that the British King lost interest in his American colonies
the war of American Independence came to a close in 1783 and our brave
colonists in the land of America lead by George Washington, had their own
country at last. There was a discussion whether George Washington really did
beat the 8,000 British at the battle of Yorktown with cunning and brave
fighting, or whether the British had discovered the qualities of bourbon whisky
and were an easy pushover when Washington’s army arrived. Who knows, but it was
a surprise for all.

However, so it came to pass and I am now writing this award winning article in
the New York Times by invitation. Had things been different and this memorable
war of Independence had a different result, I would have owned the newspaper
and not have to be invited.

On the other hand I would have grown up in a world without MacDonalds Hamburger,
Al Capone, Bill Gates, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Dwight D. Eisenhower (the
first American president I knew) and not to forget Bill Haley and Elvis
Presley, without who The Rolling Stones and Beatles would still have been
wondering what to do with their lives. Not forgetting the great Oprah Winfrey. The
Swiss are still sorting that out, but it seems there were many
misunderstandings and it would be a good idea perhaps for the esteemed New York
Times and other American news sources to examine the facts, before further
reports on the lady’s visit to Switzerland attending the wedding of her friend Tina
Turner.

I will now close this memorable unforgettable tribute to ex British
colony the United States of America. All fees and donations can be paid to
my Swiss numbered bank account. Details available through the WordPress
Organisation (they are American and might not be interested?). My best selling
book can be purchased by visiting the link on my WordPress Blog.

I wish to thank the New York times for this
unforgettable chance to establish my work on the ladder of success, which it
deserves.

About Me

Grew up in the East End of London, which means I am a cockney. After a commercial course at school and working around the city of London as shorthand-typist, I moved over to Switzerland and worked 2 years in an import export company in Zürich. Moved on to work for Robert Bosch in Solothurn and met Mr. Swiss. 2 children later and many years I am still in Switzerland. In the meanwhile worked for 30 years for a Swiss machine tool company as export clerk, am bilingual (english/German(Swiss German), speak French, Italian, Russian. Am now retired and enjoying my hobbies, photography, writingm Tai Chi and looking after 3 cats that decided to move in with me.