In a “bombshell world exclusive,” the tabloid describes racy pictures that will drive Holmes “wild with jealousy and tear the couple apart.”

The magazine’s cover screams about Cruise being “Half-Naked in Bed!” with another woman.

Whoa!

Where are these allegedly “ultra-steamy” photos? What’s Cruise doing in them? Who’s already seen them?

Um, we’re guessing everyone.

Uh, the pictures that have the Enquirer all hot, bothered and frantic about the future of Cruise and Holmes are from the stylized pictorial in W Magazine featuring the actor, in character as rocker Stacee Jaxx from Rock of Ages, cavorting with models Abbey Lee Kershaw and Edita Vilkeviciute.

Talk about an utterly shameless bit of bait-and-switch sensationalism.

The Enquirer, however, thinks the W pics are “sure to provoke a bitter battle” with Holmes.

“Katie will be devastated by the erotic and explicit nature of the pictures,” shrieks a so-called “close source,” later adding, “It’s certain to spark a shocking blowup between them!”

Seriously?

A blowup is “certain” — over totally innocuous photos that Cruise, Holmes and millions of others have known about for weeks?

The Enquirer goes on to pad its cover story with “marriage experts” chiming in about how horrified Holmes will be with the pictures and a comparison between Australian model Kershaw and Cruise’s ex-wife Nicole Kidman.

“Katie is sure to be jealous of Abbey Lee from the photo shoot,” a “source” tells the tabloid, adding, “It must be in the back of Katie’s mind that Tom might become smitten with his latest co-star.”

No she’s not.

This is pure ridiculousness.

The Enquirer has been pumping out speculative nonsense about Cruise and Holmes since they got married.