Creative techniques to strategically attract audiences.

How to nuke your creativity in 3 easy steps

So – your latest problem is that you feel you’re being too creative. Ideas are just flowing out of your brain like, I don’t know, something*! You’re now suffering because you’ve turned into a creative rock-star, and who wants that?! No wayes!

No worries, we have the cure for you! In just three easy steps, you can effectively nuke the last bit of creative energy in your soul. After you’re done, your ideas will be as dry as a bowl of GrapeNuts seasoned with sawdust and gravel (and no milk for you!). Just follow these steps exactly… don’t you dare do different, son!

1- Obliterate your sense of awe. Everything in this world purely SUCKS. Nothing is as cool as it was before. Mediocrity just surrounds you. Everybody just makes CRAP. Whatever you need to tell yourself, try hard at being unimpressed by even the most minimum semblance of beauty.

Some people say that there is a bit of beauty and value in everything, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not the objects themselves… but to that you must reply, “HA!” You know better than that! Your standards are so very high that nothing in this world makes you say even “hm?”, except for those two or three things that are impossible to bring into existence anyway.

Once you’re 100% convinced of this, there’s little chance you’ll be able to come up with anything worth being impressed about… which brings us to…

2- Blow up your self-confidence. Even after you’ve TNT’d your awe, being a traditionally creative type (until now, that is), you’ll still have the temptation to come up with one or two good ideas. Shame on you! But be calm, we have the cure for that too.

As soon as that embryo of an idea comes up, just repeat this affirmation over and over:“Everything I do sucks, so this must suck too.” Now, don’t think for a second that you’re doing this is to filter out good ideas from bad ones. No! The point is to realize that not even you can fulfill your stratospheric standards, so you only deserve to be discouraged for life. Your ideas aren’t even worth a try, discard them upon appearance because they are not worth even the slightest attention to nurture farther.

3- Destroy innovation, and follow the rules exactly. Yup, let’s re-emphasize. In anything you do, there are rules that the masters/gurus/leaders have put in place. They know the road to success… and you don’t even know what success looks like, so how can you know the road?

Nothing impresses you (step 1) and you can’t come up with anything better (step 2) so why diverge? Play by other people’s rules. Walk within the lines. Don’t dare depart from the trodden road. Creativity begins with the possibility to innovate, and by following in the footsteps of others, you will ensure that you never have crazy ideas of finding better and more effective ways to solve a problem.

If you know of any other creativity-killers that have worked for (er, against) you, please share them!

*Note: See, my techniques work! Couldn’t even come up with a good simile!

Alex Rodríguez develops high-end digital marketing campaigns that transform brands and attract business. He is the author of Digital BACON. His clientele has run the gamut from top-level advertising agencies and Fortune500 corporations, through national broadcast networks, to award-winning production firms. He heads up the team at YMMY Marketing. Connect with Alex via LinkedIn or Twitter