How many birth mothers contacted you before you ultimately matched with one?

Just curious about everyone's journey. How many birth mothers considered you before you were matched? We've probably had about 8 birth mothers, give or take a scammer or two in there, contact us to get to know us. We aren't matched with anyone yet. Just wondering if that sounds normal.

Comments (12)

We went with an agency and only were presented after we looked over the history and agreed to be shown...so bit of a different process. We saw lots of possible cases, and we were chosen each time we agreed to be shown.

I think almost anything is normal.
We went with an agency and only were pres...

Posted
07/30/2016

I think almost anything is normal.
We went with an agency and only were presented after we looked over the history and agreed to be shown...so bit of a different process. We saw lots of possible cases, and we were chosen each time we agreed to be shown.

Oh, that is different. I am with an agency but we all have an online profile with the option to contact us directly. I am also on adoptimist.com so my email is readily accessible.

Oh, that is different. I am with an agency but we all have an online profile ...

Posted
07/30/2016

Oh, that is different. I am with an agency but we all have an online profile with the option to contact us directly. I am also on adoptimist.com so my email is readily accessible.

My DH (dear husband) thinks social media is ridiculous/the devil so doing an online profile was a big no-no for him. Haha! He freaked out that our agencies (we signed up with two to increase our odds) put a few photos and excerpts from our profile on their websites! So, I wouldn't know how to handle the reverse. We didn't make a single decision without talking it over with our consultant first. We leaned on her for everything! But, I'll tell you this. When it's meant to be, it will happen. We hadn't even mailed in an application when we got matched with ods. As soon as his was final, we signed up again and were chosen in 3 months (although it ended up failing a few months after baby was born...long story and totally not the norm). Then waited a year with two agencies for YDS. We were very picky and did not agree to any situation that had any similarities to the failed one. So our waits were all over the place.

I was matched with the first one who contacted me both times.
Eight seems li...

Posted
07/31/2016

I was matched with the first one who contacted me both times.

Eight seems like a lot, considering you are still waiting to be matched. If you're working with an agency,
I wonder if they can give you any feedback?

They said we're a "high interest" family. Non of the women have actually contacted the agency so none so far were at a place where they were ready to move forward with an adoption plan. Another social worker said to look at the contacts as "winks" like on match.com, and not to pour our heart and souls into each person who contacts us until they've met with a social worker. it's hard not to get excited and wonder with each one.

We went independent both times. 8 does sound like a good number to me. How long have you been waiting? We got very lucky the first time. Our sons birthmom was our first contact. A few days after he was born we were contacted by someone else who we passed our friends info to. She picked them. They waited almost 3 years and she was the 64th contact! I think a lot depends on your criteria too. The second time we spoke to probably around 10 people in 7 months. Some were scams, some stopped contact. One placed with us. Some people get 2 calls some get 50! You just never know. It'll happen when it's right

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