Young children are much nicer than older people. Obviously, I speak as a parent, so I’m a little biased.

But, whether it’s because they cannot give a false smile, or they simply haven’t picked up the bad habits that a lifetime brings, toddlers are so much better than most grown-ups.

There are a few examples as to why here, but I should also add a word of warning about toddlers. They grow up. Remember this: even Michael Gove was a toddler once.

A toddler is better than a Premier League footballer because if a toddler deliberately falls down and then rolls around on the ground, you can be fairly certain they’ll be laughing about, it as opposed to pretending they’ve been shot by a sniper.

A toddler is better than your boss because, although there may have been some mishaps during toilet training, you can be fairly certain that if you are crapped on by a toddler, it is an accident.

A toddler is better than a taxi driver because a toddler normally tries to reach his destination via the most direct route available.

A toddler is better than a human resources executive because they are more likely than a HR exec to base what they say on life experience rather than the latest management book. And a toddler’s appearance in your building is less likely to make you fear for your job.

A toddler is better than a politician because you can normally bribe a toddler with a biscuit; politicians tend to have a much higher tariff.

A toddler is better than Apple Inc because a toddler is less likely to attempt to blame you when something goes wrong.

A toddler is better than a television executive because a toddler would never dream up The Only Way is Essex and attempt to call it entertainment.

A toddler is better than you because if they dance badly and babble incoherently, it won’t be due to intake of alcohol.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions as to who and what else a toddler is better than.