PennDOT Chief “Flummoxed” At Results Of Anna Nicole Paternity Test

(HARRISBURG) – After bragging to friends and coworkers for more than two months that he fathered Anna Nicole Smith’s baby, PennDOT Secretary Allen Biehler is expressing disappointment upon hearing that he apparently did not.

It was announced this week that the late model’s now-seven-month-old daughter was fathered by photographer Larry Birkhead.

“Wow, color me flummoxed,” said Biehler, who announced at a state Senate hearing in February that he had sexual relations with the model in early 2005. “We crossed paths at a hotel in Las Vegas during a trade convention. She said she dug dudes in transportation,” he explained.

Biehler said the tryst didn’t last long. “It was her drug habit that eventually drove us apart. Anything beyond a little weed, count me out.”

Biehler said he left a message for Birkhead to ask if he could visit with the baby, but the biological father has yet to return his call.

The secretary said he does not plan to challenge the findings of the paternity test. “Submitting a sample was fun, though,” he said. “I wouldn’t mind doing it again sometime.”