Under one roof: Boulder County family joins multigenerational-household movement

Hudson Byrne, 11 months old, finds other things to during a family dinner in early December. Hudson and his family are a multigenerational household who live in Niwot. (Matthew Jonas / Staff Photographer)

The children gather around the table with their grandparents and aunt, decorating cookies.

But this is not a special, once-a-year holiday scene. This is regular life in the Byrnes' Niwot home.

Under this single roof live the parents, Liz and Kevin Byrne, and their two sons, Connor, 3½, and Hudson, 11 months.

And Kevin Byrne's sister, Kim Lawless, who moved to Colorado from New Jersey for a lifestyle change.

And his parents, Brenda and Michael Byrne.

They didn't all set out to live together.

But when Kevin and Liz Byrne found a house in Niwot with a separate basement living space, plus room enough for his sister, it caught their eye. Lawless had been temporarily living with them at their home in Louisville, and his parents lived in a house nearby.

Kevin Byrne admits that, as new, working parents, he and his wife welcomed the help.

"We came home and jokingly said, 'I found a house for all of us. Want to move in together?' " Kevin Byrne says. "The reaction was, 'Oh, sure, great, let's go see it,' not really thinking it would necessarily work out. But it did."

The Byrnes moved into their "compound," as they playfully call it, in September and celebrated their first Christmas as a multigenerational household this week.

This time of year, you hear talk about "going home for the holidays" and family reunions. But for some people, like the Byrnes, sitting around the table with extended family is a way of life.

And that lifestyle is growing in popularity.

The U.S. Census Bureau shows the number of multigenerational households (defined as more than two generations living under the same roof) has continued to steadily grow for three decades. A record 57 million Americans, or 18 percent, lived in a multigenerational home in 2012 — double the number in 1980, the census reported last summer.

That's one in six households, according to Generations United, an advocacy group for collaboration among generations.

Often, college students, or others seeking to save on expenses, live with their parents. In fact, the census saw a spike in this type of household during the recession, suggesting finances play an important role.

The census reported that one in four young adults between 25 and 34 lives in a household with multiple generations. It has become so common for college students to move back in with an older family member that there's a term for it: the "boomerang generation."

That's the story with Paige Norton, 49, of Louisville. Norton is an unmarried bank president who lived with her two dogs — until her two twentysomething nieces moved in while they attend the University of Colorado-Boulder.

The sisters (children of Norton's brother) live in her finished basement with their own bathroom. Because of their busy schedules, they all rarely eat together.

"We don't try to coordinate our schedules, because everyone's all over the place, but in our communal space we are all respectful of each other, in keeping it nice," Norton says.

She says she enjoys the youthful energy and the opportunity to be involved in their lives — "knowing that I won't have this kind of access to them ever again," she says. "They're at a real transitional time, and I really cherish it."

Recently, Norton's 80-year-old father bought the house behind her, so while they don't live under the same roof, she regularly sees him.

"My nieces' dad, my brother, is close by, too. It is old school, where families are living near each other," Norton says. "I walk my dogs and can pop in and say hi. It's good for (her father), because he knows I'm literally a minute away. We are planning longer term."

Many adults, like the Byrnes, also are taking in their parents, aging baby boomers, to help with child care and share the cost of living, as Boulder County's housing prices hover high.

Last month, Boulder's real estate hit the top 1 percent of the nation's most expensive markets; the average list price for a four-bedroom, two-bath home in the city tops $1 million, according to a Coldwell Banker survey.

Liz Byrne, carrying son Hudson on her back, says sharing a house with the entire family means "there's just help to fill in the little cracks in life." (Matthew Jonas / Staff Photographer)

Add that to child care: The average cost for center-based child care in Boulder County is $297 per week per child between 2 and 4 years old, according to the city of Boulder's Human Services Department, and that number is higher for younger kids. That's close to $1,200 per month.

Beyond child care, "there's just help to fill in the little cracks in life," Liz Byrne says. "The 15 minutes I need to put away the laundry, and I have our 11-month-old. I can put him on Brenda's lap and say, 'You're in charge of the kids for a few minutes.' "

The relatives also help fill in the bigger cracks, she says.

"I need a ride to the airport. The Internet isn't working. The printer isn't working. Having someone else to flip my laundry — I start a load, leave the house and come back with clothes dry or even folded," Liz Byrne says.

An extended-family housing arrangement also saves money on assisted living, as the aging population can no longer live alone.

Boulder County's Senior Housing Guide in 2013 showed assisted living costs in Boulder ranging from $3,295 to $9,100 per month (that's all-inclusive). Prices varied for nursing homes and independent living, and also by other county locations.

Although housing authorities can help connect some eligible seniors to more affordable housing options, senior housing costs in the region have long been a concern.

It's no surprise, then, that in Boulder County, thousands of grandparents live with their grandchildren; the county's public health improvement report in 2013 cited more than 3,200.

"People are getting pinched, and at some point in time, you have to ask how can we improve our quality of life and how can we manage our expenses better?" Kevin Byrne says. "How can we set up our kids for college, which we know is going to be very expensive?"

The demand for multigenerational homes is big enough to drive a new building trend.

In Boulder County, Lennar homes can be found in Erie and a development is planned for Longmont, but the company's NextGen-specific developments are in Stapleton, Arvada, Centennial and Parker.

While the finances make sense, that's not the sole reason to live in the same house, say the Byrnes.

"Our mantra has been that it does take a village," Kevin Byrne says. "We never knew it before, but it does, to support the children. They're more involved with the boys' lives now."

Setting healthy boundaries up front was important, he says. His parents even enrolled in a parenting course with him and his wife so everyone would use the same parenting methods.

"It's important to understand everybody's roles and where they might have a sensitivity before you commit to it," he says.

Kevin Byrne recommends clearly laying out expectations (such as how often everyone will eat dinner together) and ways to stay independent (such as how to preserve your privacy).

As for his parents, well, he says he hopes they don't mind his 3 ½ -year-old waking them up early in the morning or the sound of the infant's high chair scraping against the kitchen floor, directly above their room.

"Maybe the screaming baby might be one thing they might not have signed on for," Kevin Byrne says with a laugh.

His mother, Brenda Byrne, says the crying doesn't bother her at all.

"And it's humorous and continues to be when someone comes down and greets us at 7 a.m. and asks for ice cream. Cheerios come first," she says. "We love the fact that our grandson feels so comfortable in our space, too. It's another part of the house and the family where he feels comfortable to go looking for cookies — and we better quickly get up."

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