Saturday, April 04, 2009

My big boy has the sweetest heart. Yesterday he organized an egg hunt in our living room to help his brothers practice for today's Easter party at the twins club.

He wanted them to be able to do a good job when the easter egg hunt started - and to get some eggs (last year we got the shaft as some parents seemed to think it was ok for their kids to take 50 eggs even though we each only contribute 12 per kid).

Yet sometimes, even saints get worn out. And as he raised his voice at his brother and demanded he LEAVE him alone......I called him over to me, where he promptly broke into tears.

As I held him tight, I perceived an injustice that had been done to him over the past few weeks, even though he wants for nothing.

The past few weeks have been all about his brothers. ALL ABOUT his brothers. Almost all conversation, trips, events, schedule juggling - all activity has been about them, their autism and them being "special".

So as I hugged him close, I posed that question gently - asking if he felt left out or worn out by it.......and he sobbed and sobbed and said yes and he was sorry. And choked and cried and just fell apart - sounding every bit the little boy he is.

I kissed his cheek and told him I was sorry, but that we'd had to do these things to help his brothers. But I also assured him that he too is "special." But that he's lucky, because he isn't "special" in a way that makes his mommy secretly cry every day......but rather in a way that makes her heart soar with joy and want to never stop hugging him.

And that he is indeed, whether he knows it or not, unbelievably special.