Boosting Your Kid’s Self-Esteem

Impulsando la autoestima de su hijo

Boosting Your Kid’s Self-Esteem

By Carolina Pichardo

Encouraging your child to learn a new skill will help boost spirits.

School is just around the corner, and as we get ready to stock up on pencils and notebooks, we also need to decide how to best support our children emotionally as they resume their academic and social routines. With bullying stats going up, and suicide on the rise among the younger generation, how can parents support their child’s self-esteem?

“Mommy, I’m ugly,” she said, with virtually the same certainty as when she’s talking about the weather or a homework assignment.

She was so sure this was true.

She went on to talk about the names kids called her, apparently teasing her about her hair, nails and how once, a little boy said “Yuck!”about her.

This was a little boy she liked.

Now, I’ve warned her that kids can be mean, and her father and I remind her constantly how beautiful she is—both inside and out.

But for a kid, it could often feel like that just isn’t enough.

Just last year, an 11-year old Bronx girl committed suicide, leaving behind a trail of text messages to friends describing how unhappy she was. This year, unfortunately, another victim also took her life – she was 9 years old.

Children can experience depression or feel “down”.

Experts are concerned that this might be part of a growing trend wherein younger kids, subject to greater social pressures at an earlier age, harm themselves, or worse.

It can feel like a pitched battle for parents – fighting a million, real-life instances of poor behavior on the part of peers, frenemies, etc. with just the resources available to those who are supposed to love their kids unconditionally.

That’s my daughter’s take.

When we speak to her beauty and strength, she often replies, “You’re supposed to say that.”

So, we’ve developed a three-step strategy to help her along the way.

Emphasizing these points from time to time, we hope, will help her develop the inner strength she needs to succeed.

What are some of the ways you boost your child’s self-esteem?

Eat Well and Get Moving

Research already shows that physical activity and healthy eating help people feel better. That goes for your kids as well. So why not pack a few fruits, water and go for a family hike or run around the city? There are several great routes in Northern Manhattan and the Bronx. For more, visit the nycgovparks.org/facilities/hikingtrails.

Teach Them Something New

Who doesn’t feel good when they learn and master a new skill? There are lots of ways to boost your child’s self-esteem with activities in the city. Have they tried tennis at the local park? How about a little gardening at the New York Botanical Garden? If your child is down, try out a new activity that could shed light on a skill set they never thought they had. Learning about how the world works, for them, begins with your encouragement.

Be a Good, Positive Example

You’re the best example your kid’s got. Do you remember the saying, “Monkey see, monkey do?” Our little monkeys model our behavior and attitudes. How you feel about yourself and allow others to treat you is directly communicated to your children with verbal and nonverbal cues. If someone is making you feel good about yourself, and your child is a witness to that, great! But if not, how can we expect him or her to understand what it means to have a healthy dosage of self-esteem when we’re surrounding ourselves with negativity?

Of course, if you notice prolonged signs of depression or expressions of a sense of worthlessness, do seek a professional to support you and your family.

But the point is always be your child’s top supporter.

Be the balance and sounding board they need.

Our children are strong, beautiful and capable of awesome things.

Reminding them often is as much a duty as it is a privilege.

Carolina Pichardo is the co-founder of Young Urban Moms (YUM), and a proud young mom to her beautiful, energetic daughter, Lyanna. She’s been an editor and content producer for several publications, newsletters and websites, such as Working Mother Magazine, Grandparents.com, and Parents.com. She can be reached at info@youngurbanmoms.