Monday, June 25, 2012

A day in the life of a "normal" mom

Today was another normal day. A visit from my crazy neighbor, a "criminal" knocks at my door to serve me with a lawsuit, and my husband speaks to me in his oh so sweet and condescending way.
My neighbor knocks on my door while I'm working and trying to get things done while my 9 month old naps. Just before I can say hello, she and her two kids have taken off their shoes and entered my spotless home. Before
I know it, toys are spewed all over the floor and I'm having a play date at my house while one of my children is at camp and the other is sleeping. Oh joy! I listen to how my neighbor is tired of the day in, day out responsibilities of being a mom. She cooks all of her children's meals from scratch and how her brilliant child #1 is "spirited" (a.k.a. he has ADD or autism). He's almost 4 and he speaks like a little baby. Sadly, I don't see his brilliance admist the huge mess he's just made in my house and sure to leave behind. I can bet that he's not brilliant or socially mature enough to pick it up before he leaves.

Shortly after my crazy neighbor leaves, a criminal knocks at my door with a huge stack of paper in his hands asking for me, ME! What the hell! I've never been sued but it certainly looked like I was being sued or was about to be robbed. I tell him to leave whatever he has at my door and I quickly check my house to make sure everything is locked and closed. Thanks to my lovely husband, every window in the house was wide open, inviting anyone in. I quickly grab my handy emergency remote from my alarm company and begin closing every window in the house. I am dying to open the door and see what the papers say but I don't dare open them just in case the "criminal" is lingering behind waiting for me to take the bait.

When my husband arrives at home he yells over to me that we're being sued, or sorry, I'm being sued. Great, icing on the cake of the day. It turns out that we're being sued by the bank that owns the rental property that we've been attenpting to short sale for 9 months!! Again, what the hell!! They are sueing me for the total loan amount plus damages.

I'm sure everyone is wondering how we got to the point where my husband became condescending. Well, it was when I was trying to send paperwork to my mortgage company for the 5th time and my scanner wasn't working. He said, after being home for less than 5 minutes, "You've spent 1 hour tryng to do that, why don't you just go to work and fax it?" Well, I already tried to fax it to 2 different numbers multiple times and they were busy each time. I also already re-downloaded the drivers for my printer/scanner and the scanner was in the middle of successfully scanning my documents as my husband decided to go on his ignorant, condescending rant. The rant ended in my ice water landing on my husband, and surprisingly, his rant stopped. Love it, another day in the life of a normal mom...