Just Things going on

I really wonder sometimes, I mean really wonder why siblings will not forgive. As for that matter why will you not forgive a friend.
You can forgive someone and renew your relationship, but sometimes, just because of the hurt the relationship cannot be renewed, at least not the way it used to be.
The only reason I bring this up is so many people out there are holding grudges against people that don't even know or even care that there are grudges or ill feelings are held against them.
We all have to get over ourselves (and we are all into ourselves, one way or another)and learn to forgive others. If we do not forgive other nor will we be forgiven by our Father in heaven. This is not my thought: this is what the word of God say.
We need to forgive and move on in our lives. It doesn't mean we have to associate with these people any more, we just need to totally forgive them and accept them for who they are and let God work out the rest.
Holding grudges and holding people accountable only destroys ourselves. The reason I say this is from experience from many years ago when I held a grudge against someone. The person you are holding a grudge against doesn't even know that you have a grudge against them nor do they care.
When I ran into this person years later, I realized that they had no clue and I was only destroying myself. I let go of the grudge (hatred, whatever) and moved on with my life.
I have found in my life (I'm 57 if that makes a difference)holding grudges and not forgiving others for the wrong they have done us, only hurts ourselves and not the person we are against.
Well that's my thought for today. Comments are always welcomed.
Julia

I would like o be able to do this with some people. But,they have done some really messed up thibngs to make it hard. I agree it will make things better in my life. I think I will work on this with one person in my life. thanks.

While I agree with you that in an ideal world forgiveness would come so easily, I think that it takes a very willing and open heart to do so. And maybe forgiveness is the wrong word. I was recently very hurt by somebody that I considered to be one of my best friends. I feel like I have forgiven her and tried to look at what she did as one of those "Forgive her Father for she knows not what she did". But in all reality, she did know what she was doing to me, and chose to hurt me anyways.
I have forgiven my friend in the sense that I have asked God to give me peace about the situation and I truly do wish her the best in her life. What I don't feel like I can do is forget what she has done to me. Being Catholic I even went to confession about it because I felt like there was something wrong with me that I could not move on. The priest told me something interesting. He said "it is possible to forgive without forgetting, but what you need to do is ask God to give you the strength to put this behind you and pray that He will give those who have hurt you the ability to change their ways." Maybe that is the hardest part in forgiving somebody - is when you are still in their life, you want to believe that they are truly sorry for what they have done.
I agree with you though that in the end not forgiving only hurts ourselves and to be able to forgive easily is truly a gift we can give ourselves!

For me, it is really hard to "forgive" all those who trespassed against us. That memory will forever be etched in our head. I for one say, I forget all the bad experience this person gave me and that I had to move on and start on a clean slate. But with my pride ever working just like most people, we reason out that it's better to just ignore, treat as invisible, banned, just to be civil. I grew up with people who in one way or another held a grudge with each other. Be it friends to friends, siblings to sibling, etc. The common denominator is always the pride and just to play safe. So most people just tend to brand or label people to what they think they are. And yes, most of them do not know you held a grudge or is still grudging. It depends on everyones personality. Just like my former employer. I learned that if you are highly intelligent, highly respected, highly in all the aspects, they do not tend to see their own wrong doings, but can see other people's flaws. Blinded sometimes by wealth, power and obsession to maintain. But it depends also. There are those wealthy people, still down to earth, humble. And makes friends out of the enemies. Some "forgive" to be Christians. Others just for the show. For me, we should forgive, for peace, to be simply living by the golden rules.

The truth is that the only person burdened by a grudge is the person carrying it. Not only that, by carrying that grudge they are allowing the offending person to run their lives and control them. I saw this so much in my mom's family and I promised myself to try not to be that way. I am pretty good most of the time and hopefully I will always get better. It is also important to forgive ourselves when we do the wrong things. Let's not forget that.

I forgive and forget too, but I really have a friend who did bad to me, but I forgave that person, but I don't trust her anymore. It is hard to give my trust on the person who tried to hurt me, but I am not angry at them anymore.

I totally agree with you and I wish that we would all be able to forgive and move on with our lives but unfortunately for some people, holding grudges and too much hatred towards other people is a part of self. For others, they are only able to forgive but not forget.