Beyond the belt

You know: Let’s find a new home for those jeans from 10 years ago. Because they look dated, which means they don’t help you look as up to date and dynamic as you really are. Let’s transition those older things out and find a way to introduce more modern-looking pieces.

But I say this with a huge caveat.

Here it is: If you have problems in your life (like most of us do!), then a shiny new object—a new purse in a super-trendy color, say—won’t solve those problems.

It can’t. It’s just a shiny new object.

Not only can it not solve your problems, it alone won’t help you build the personal presence you long for—that certain something you can spot in a second in the people you work with and the people around you. Magnetism, charisma, sexiness, presence—that thing you desperately want but are pretty sure you don’t have.

Presence is a balancing act

The reality is that that kind of presence is created in a balancing act.

So on the one hand, yes, you do want to stay on top of trends and look modern and relevant. That’s key to your showing up with confidence. On the other hand, your presence is a nearly indefinable thing but it is all about YOU. It’s not about gilding the lily or looking outside yourself for the affirmation of your beliefs and values. That’s the stuff that comes only from within. When you know what you stand for and allow your inner radiance to show through brilliantly, that’s when you begin to show up with conviction.

So by all means, go ahead and get that new belt if you want. Just don’t give it power it doesn’t possess.