LunchDates still setting up singles after 25 years

Making matches easier has been the mission of LunchDates since Martin Sack and Steve Penner founded the company 25 years ago. During that time period, more than 40,000 people have become members.

By Bob Tremblay

Twenty years ago, Ron and Marci Handverger went on their first date arranged by LunchDates.

"We met for drinks on June 11, 1987, at 6:30 p.m. at the Marriott in Newton,'' recalls Ron Handverger. "And we just clicked.''

They met again the next day, this time for lunch. More dates followed and soon the two were an item. On Sept. 18, 1988, the two became a married couple. The Handvergers now have two children and live in Framingham.

Ron says he was going through a divorce at the time he joined LunchDates. "I was working full time and I didn't like bars,'' he says. "I found (LunchDates) a neat way to meet people. It gave me a social life.

"I also liked the idea of an informal meeting. You only knew first names. No phone numbers. You didn't get harassed.''

Asked why he clicked with Marci, Ron says, "She was cute, attractive and had a fun personality.'' And what clicked with her? "She was probably just settling for me,'' he quips.

The date with Marci was Ron's 25th arranged by LunchDates, give or take a few. "I got my money's worth,'' he says with a laugh. "The other dates just didn't click. Part of it was me. I was going through a divorce and I think I was a little early in starting.''

Marci's LunchDates meeting with Ron was her third or fourth, he says. She was single at the time. "She was working as a saleswoman, selling clothing on the road, and it's hard to meet somebody,'' says Ron.

Making that task easier has been the mission of LunchDates since Martin Sack and Steve Penner founded the company 25 years ago. During that time period, more than 40,000 people have become members.

While LunchDates doesn't keep statistics on its success rate - not everyone who succeeds or fails contacts the company - it does have plenty of examples of couples who have married thanks to its matchmaking prowess.

"I (recently) got a call from a woman who said, 'This Saturday night we're going to dinner at a restaurant where we had our first date. It was 15 years ago. We're re-creating the evening. We were married 12 years ago,' '' says Sack. "Some people don't tell us. Some don't tell us until 12 years later. The way we hear about most of the relationships is through friends of couples. They tell them about it and the friends come in and join.

"We can advertise all over the place, but word of mouth is the best form of advertising and that's how we get the majority of our members.'' More than 70 percent of new members get referred by clients, Sack elaborates.

The service became so popular that shortly after its start in Brighton, LunchDates opened offices in Framingham, Burlington, Weymouth and downtown Boston. Earlier this month, the Framingham office moved from its longtime location on Cochituate Road to 873 Concord St. (Rte. 126 near the Rte. 30 intersection).

Before launching LunchDates, Sack and Penner worked at a federal anti-poverty program in Boston. "We had always talked about starting a business together,'' recalls Sack. "Early in 1982, Steve had just got divorced and I had just got married. He was telling me about his adventures with dating. He talked with some dating services, which at that time were charging $3,000 to $5,000 and a lot of them were franchises with dubious reputations.''

Then came that light-bulb moment. "Steve was driving through Arizona and he called me in the middle of the desert and said, 'I just saw a sign that said The Lunch Club. Maybe we can do something around a lunch date.' And that set us off.''

The first week, the new business operated out of Penner's living room in Brighton. "But right away it took off,'' says Sack. "People were telling other people about it and after two weeks we had a little, one-room office in Brighton. Then we expanded over the next year.'' Penner retired from the company three years ago.

Potential customers can either call LunchDates or go to its Web site and fill out a survey.

A 40-minute appointment is then set up at one of the LunchDates' offices. "We go through everything you're looking for - all the details about yourself - to make sure we can find some good people for you,'' says Sack. "When you join, you have a counselor. Our counselors have been with the company between six and 15 years. The counselor will do all the screening and call the other person. The counselor tells them everything about the person seeking a date, everything except last name and number.

"For women, it's very safe and confidential. For men, it's very efficient,'' says Sack. "They have a woman to bounce their ideas off. For a man who's divorced, especially a man in his 40s and 50s, if he hasn't dated a lot, it's a tremendous help. I get that feedback all the time.''

Sack notes that all of the counselors at LunchDates are women. "We've had men counselors, but now it's all female,'' he says. "Men like to talk with women and women like to talk with them, too.''

Even though the company is called LunchDates, 75 percent of the dates don't take place during lunch. "About three days after we started the company we realized most of the members do not have time for lunch. They like to meet in the early evening for a cup of coffee or a drink, lunch maybe on the weekend,'' says Sack. "We didn't change the name because the idea of LunchDates is just a short, no-pressure meeting to see if you're interested in each other.''

The price for membership ranges from $600 to $1,400. The higher the cost, the more dates arranged. Clients who start relationships can freeze membership for up to two years.

When potential customers call LunchDates, the company will provide feedback on whether it has suitable dates.

One of the challenges facing LunchDates at the outset was overcoming the stigma surrounding dating services. "Back in 1982, the only people who used these $3,000 dating services were the lonely hearts people who couldn't get a date, people who were considered losers. That was the idea behind it,'' says Sack.

"But LunchDates was different. We were low key, no pressure. Our concept was having single, busy professional people meet over lunch or after work for a cup of coffee. You're not committed to a whole evening if you're not really interested in each other. ... We were a new choice and we weren't as expensive. It opened up the whole idea of dating.''

Dating services following "the old concept'' simply sent the customer a name and a phone number in the mail, says Sack. There were no counselors to provide assistance. These services still exist, he adds.

Their numbers are dwindling, Sack says, as the Internet has become a popular dating resource.

"The Internet is inexpensive and it works pretty well, but there are more risks,'' says Sack. "Everyone has to show us their driver's license with their birthdate on it. We have all the basic information about people, and they're accountable. On the Internet, anybody can say whatever they want.

"Also, if you get a date through the Internet, it's independent of the next date. At LunchDates, after you go out, you call back your counselor and give and receive feedback. With all that feedback, your next date is far likely to be better for you if the last one didn't work out. The dates tend to get better as we get good feedback. We work with our members on that process. On the Internet, it's a one-shot deal. If there's no connection, that's it.

"Sometime it takes awhile. The longer you're in there, the larger the pool. There are different variations on why a date doesn't work, but we will guarantee the quality of the date. If someone thought a date was a real mismatch, we won't count it. It's based on the honor system and it's in the member's best interest to be honest.''

Though LunchDates has, by and large, overcome the dating service stigma, it still exists, according to Sack.

"The stereotype is that people should be able to do this on their own and not to have to ask for help,'' he says, "but we love helping people.''

The people who fare best at LunchDates are those "with a positive attitude,'' says Sack. "They don't get hung up if a first date doesn't work. They're also not heavy smokers and they're flexible with age range. They have stable jobs, They're pretty active and they're ready for a relationship.''

Members range in age from mid-20s to mid-60s with 38 the average age. "There are more women in their 40s and 50s than there are men - it's always been that way - so this is a wonderful service for men in their 40s and 50s,'' says Sack. "In the 20s and 30s, we have a really good balance of men and women. At first, our concept was more acceptable to young people. Now all ages accept it.''

Membership now totals around 1,700, says Sack.

Interestingly, a few members have married through LunchDates, divorced and rejoined.

Sack, who lived in Framingham for 25 years before recently moving to Boston, attributes LunchDates' longevity to hard work, good intentions and sincerity.

"Someone said we're a combination of an old-fashioned matchmaker and a contemporary social secretary,'' says Sack. He doesn't dispute the statement.

(Bob Tremblay of the MetroWest Daily News can be reached at btremblay@cnc.com or 508-626-4409.)