Re: an ending

Hoping therapist will help me let some of it out in a more controlled way.

If i were to let it out that is when the want to leave comes because i cannot control it.

The sadness the pain and the anger and so much more, anyways up now i will try so hard to get out of here because being alone is not good for me even if i just go out for a coffee maybe. My mind says go look after girl and twin but i don't know that may not be best choice either i dont know.

Re: an ending

Home could not finish coffee stomach got upset but stayed out walking in stores

Bought my girl a running coat with reflection on it to protect her when she walks at night from second hand store and something for eldest grandaughter then came home to eat sandwich worried about things but will try not to let mind go there.

Re: an ending

Eldest grandaughter who is just 8 fell injured her arm uggg she finally has a temp cast on it until mon where they will re xray it think she fractured growth plate
Dam anyways too long story but therapist just reinforced why i cannot leave yet. I don't know maybe trying cbd wont hurt maybe .
I know i have anxiety i do but it is the depression that is harming me more now just have to keep busy that all keep busy.

Re: an ending

she overdosed gravol and other things transferred her from one hospital to the larger hospital i should have went down today i should have followed my gut reaction i knew i knew she was in trouble omg now i wait they will keep her overnight i hope i told her to call me no matter what time i will go down and get her if need be but they will probably watch her and put her on iv flush her system I just wait now i wait you see you see it will never end i just pray whatever she took or did will not take her away or not cause her any further damage . I want to go to hospital but hsb says no he always says no don't go let them deal with it that there is nothing i can do omg im tired now i don't know what to do anymore i begged her to come back with her father i begged her to stay well i begged her i did i told her i would go get her just to stay well just to stay well and no no she had to do this again ipray she does not end up in ICU omg not again not again please god not again not again