i feel so stupid. and i am not exactly sure why. i know, but then again i dont. there is a point where i have debated if i should give up on him. i could never truely do that. so this is what i guess i will do. to everyone else it would appear i have done so, but if anyone sees the way i look at him will know better. i love him, there is no doubt in my mind about that. sometimes he gets annoyed with me, sometimes i get annoyed at him, sometimes he gets mad at me, sometimes i get mad at him, but no matter what i will always love him as much as i ever have, and then more. usually i write how i am crying in silent tears, these ones aren't so quiet, but twice as painful. some pains dont go away very easily. my love for him will never disipear, because thats how much i love him.