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Friday, July 1, 2011

The Unusual - Part3 [Short Fiction]

“What are we doing with our lives? We are striving hard to reach a state of balance- A mental state of no disturbance. A consistency- say constant happiness. Correct?” He nodded in response, ” A balance. A state of constant happiness. Unbelievable what we are striving for but yeah true.” She proceeded,” So, we are busy ironing the little folds in our lives. Trying hard to do things correct. Feel good. Feel Nice. Feel Happy ?”. He replied,” Well, yeah it is a healthy sign. Anyone who isn’t doing that is in serious danger.” She smiled,” Interesting. So you being the well learned fairly mature man you are- balanced if I may add. Do you feel that constant state of happiness? I know every tiny bit of you and neither you nor me or us have grave problems plaguing our lives. Are we too balanced? Too achieved or accomplished to be hit by any emotion?” She had managed to strike a chord. He thought for a while. She thought too.

After few minutes of no conversation, he said,” No!” Shaking his head “Not at all! I feel low for unknown reasons. At times I feel I have lost the meaning of what happiness is. I am doing well. Doing good. I am in love. I love my job. Each day I get up and do what I feel like. But at times that constant happiness that constant high is confusing.” She clapped her hands with excitement,” Ahha! Yes!! The ‘constant’- lets take that word and replace it with ‘balance’ – That balance is confusing! It is that need and effort to achieve balance that is ironically creating these incomprehensible mood feeling thoughtsemotions? I wonder which category would that fall into- high -low- little ups little downs.”

She tapped her finger on the paper and traced it along the lines that resembled a heartbeat. “This- is a heartbeat. It is life. It is our life. Yours. Mine. And everybody’s life. We all are alive for this pulsating, vibrating rhythmic and constant up and down. Highs and lows in our hearts the core of our human existence. “ She pulled out a pen and drew a flat line cutting across the heartbeat. She tapped her pen at that start of the line as she spoke “ This line is what we are trying to achieve. A balance-A constant. What happens when the heartbeat is flat? What does it mean? It means death. It means no life. Balance kills us in different ways we are not capable of understanding. We need to vibrate to resonate with the life. We need to move high move low. When do we feel something? When there is a deviation from what is already there. So we need to go off balance to feel good – one cannot constantly feel good. One has to have high and low . Little ups little downs. And then the heart –beats and pumps life into our mechanical bodies. We resonate, we pulsate, we vibrate we are living. We are happy yet little sad. But we are happy.”

She looked at him to understand if she was going too fast. She was happy to notice him smile. He said,” So to sum it up my darling unusual girl. You say- It is okay if I am sad. It is okay if I am thrown off the balance. I don’t need to struggle. For I feel sad just because I am alive. It is a part of living. And I am sad because I cannot constantly feel happy. I will hit a low because of that constant happiness and there will be another transition. The transition will cause the happiness again. And these transitions will happen every time. That is what I was born with. That is what gave me life.”

She nodded with the smile of a child. Her struggle. Her thoughts. Her highs her lows for the past two days mapped on a piece of paper resembled the heartbeat. Her heartbeat. Her life. She picked up the pen and signed

“– With love

Your Unusual.

P.S. Coded love note “

She slipped it in the pocket over his heart and winked as she said, “Keep this with you.”

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