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Words I Wrote

A call to confession

Have I been here lately? I can’t remember. My life is spinning a little out of control, in a good way of course. (More about that later this week. If you’re lucky.)

First of all, you should know that I took my son’s dead iPod to Best Buy. I had purchased replacement insurance back in December–the salesperson told me it would cover “any damage.” At least that’s what I recall because why would I purchase insurance that didn’t cover accidental damage when the iPod was destined for accidental damage in the possession of my careless son? Anyway, the girl behind the counter said, “And what’s wrong with it?” and I said, “It went through the wash. I washed it. In the washing machine.”

And she said, “Um, that’s not covered.”

“Not covered? What is the point of insurance? What does it cover?”

“Well, if the screen went blank or the hard-drive crashed.”

I said, “Well, in that case, the screen went blank and the hard-drive crashed.”

She made an exception for me since I didn’t know the rules. Wasn’t that nice of her? And then I refused her offer to buy another insurance policy for the replacement iPod.

My 5-year old daughter poked herself in the eye with her finger this afternoon. I was standing nearby, folding socks, when she injured herself. She was mostly okay the rest of the afternoon, but while playing games with her daddy before bedtime, she excused herself three times to go lay down and rest. Then she’d come back: “I’m okay now,” and play awhile longer. At bedtime, she came in crying, her eyelid and cheek reddened . . . I examined her eyeball and it was barely bloodshot. I am hoping that a night of sleep will cure all that ails her.

I still can’t believe she inexplicably poked her own eyeball. How does that happen?

* * *

I stuck the new car tab onto the license plate today. Then, ever responsible, I replaced the old car registration with the new car registration. I checked the insurance card, too, and found it woefully out of date. This discovery propelled me through all the paperwork on my desk, on my kitchen counter and in the handy basket in the kitchen that catches all the mail that can’t be immediately discarded.

I never found the insurance card. Maybe it’s hidden somewhere in the glove compartment? I surrender. At least the new card is due in March. Until then, we will be on extra good behavior so the police have no reason to pull us over and demand to see our proof of insurance. (I haven’t had a ticket in fifteen years.)

How about you? When was the last time the police pulled you over? Don’t you hate that moment when you realize the flashing lights in your rearview mirror are flashing at you? Tell us all about how you broke the law. Come on. You know you want to. Confession is good for the soul . . . and far better than a sharp stick (or a finger) in the eye.

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18 thoughts on “A call to confession”

I have never been pulled over by the police, but before you get this image of me as saintly perfect driver, it doesn’t seem to happen as often over here in Scotland as it appears to in the US. I have however poked myself in the eyeball on many occasions. Fortunately you don’t get a ticket for that.

I have only been pulled over once and that was when a car in front of me slammed on it’s brakes and I veered out from behind it and the Connecticut State Trooper who was behind me pulled me over for neglecting to signal. Fortunately, tears worked. That was back in 1986. Now you know that I am going to get pulled over because I told that story.

Call your insurance company and they will drop a new card in the mail.

By the way, my son Rick was about seven when he was laying on the floor on his stomach watching TV and drove his thumb into his cornea because he had been falling a sleep while his head was propped up on his hands. He was in an eye patch for two weeks. Never underestimate kids. They do the oddest things.

The last time I got pulled over, I was caught in a speed trap while driving a van full of Girls Scouts to the bowling alley. I’m not sure if it was because I was chauffering Girl Scouts, or because I instructed them all to pray, but the officer said that since I’d been driving 30+ years and never gotten a ticket, he wasn’t going to give me one now. I wrote about it here:http://overbackyardfence.blogspot.com/2007/03/hail-mary-thin-mints.html

I was pulled over back in November 2007 on my way to work. If you’ve never been to Little Rock Arkansas I will tell you that its full of giant hills here and there. We had stopped at the bakery on the way in for donuts for the office and there sitting secretly behind some trees in the neighborhood. Mind you at the bottom of a huge hill with a speed limit of 25! How do you possibly drive this slow coming off a hill? Anyway he pulled us over and I offered him a donut. He got so tickled that he let me go and told me he let me go because I was wearing my seatbelt. I swear it was the donut and my long blonde hair…right?

I haven’t been pulled over in years, but my husband was pulled over last week for doing 66 in a 35 school zone. Sigh. $380. Who has $380 to burn? (I’m just thankful that no children were out in the road)

When driving to West Texas from Arkansas with my family and a van full of college students, I got pulled over twice. The first time was on the way down there in rural Oklahoma where the cops just wait to catch someone going even 2mph over the speed limit. The second time was on the way home somewhere in Texas. Total tickets (I got one both times!): $250

The only time I’ve ever been pulled over was 10 years ago. I was leaving the office & I *KNOW* I came to a complete stop at the sign.
Lights, Siren, the whole 9 yards…. Turns out,the officer was my husband & he just wanted to know what I was making for dinner that night.
As my co-workers were rubbernecking, he joking told me to get out of the car & put my hands on the roof so he could frisk me. I did.
At the same moment, my boss was driving by. I thought she was going to have a heart attack!
Boy the talk around the water cooler the next day was great! I let everyone in the office hang for the entire morning until I finally told them that the officer was my husband.

I got a ticket going through a very yellow light on an icy MI street. It was one of those you think should I floor it or stop. I floored it because I had to go the the bathroom and the roads were slick and I did not think I would be able to stop. I got a ticket for $150. I tried to fight it and lost. BLAH!
Today I got in a car accident, thankfully not my fault, but I had to show proof of insurance. If you have a fax machine they can fax it to you right away.

I was pulled over for out of date plates. Then my registration was out of date as well. My husband had claimed we had the whole month to get new tags. I was pulled over 100 yards after pulling out of our drive. I was on fire. I was ready to call him and give him a piece of my mind when I realized that the whole time I had not been wearing my seat belt! WHEW!

18 months ago I was driving 55 in a 40mph zone (waaaay too slow for this particular stretch of road) and I got nailed. I have been stopped numerous times in my life and it’s amazing how I forget how HUMILIATING it is to sit in your car with a police officer’s car behind you. This is compounded by the fact that I am a pastor’s wife and we have a large church and there are alot of people who know who I am but I do not know who they are.

Anyway, the officer comes to my window and I was very apologetic.( I cannot imagine ever sassing a cop under circumstances although I have known alot of people who do….) He looked at me, looked at my license, and walked back to his car. I sat there praying for mercy when he returned and said sternly “OK. I’m going to let you go. I don’t want to have to stop you again.”

“Yes sir. Thank you sir.”

Then he smiled said “See you Sunday” and walked away. **gasp**

Here is how it ends: I didn’t get a ticket… but a member of our church who is in law enforcement has a great story to tell at parties.

The only time I’ve ever been stopped, was when my daughter was taking piano lessons in Fordyce. I was driving to the instructor’s home, my grandmother in the front seat and my two kids were in the back seat arguing. Grandma was rambling on and on and of course I was answering her back, and all of a sudden I see the blue lights in my rear view. I turned down the side street to get out of the highway, and stopped the car. My grandmother began ranting about stopping on the side of the street and the kids became silent with fear. The very nice officer looked at the occupants of my car, saw that I lived in a different town, and very kindly gave me a warning. He didn’t give me any lecture or try to scare me. Guess he could understand why I was going 50 in a 35 zone….

Hi!! I have to come clean!! Taking my daughter to volleyball practice – she was asleep in the front seat – absolutely NO RUSH to get there (we were early actually!!) but I was stopped at a left red arrow…..out in the middle of the country…..couldn’t see the need to wait for it to turn green – so i looked all around – no policemen – and WENT!! Boy was I shocked when in my rear view mirror I see a siren and Highway Patrolman!! GRRRrrrrr….Silly me! $125.00 later and NO NEED FOR IT! I learned my lesson – and yes, he was “hiding” in the woods!! 😦 I actually even tried to talk him out of it – saying, “I thought if you stopped, then it was clear – you could go!” He wouldn’t fall for it!! 😦

I got pulled over just the other week after dropping off one of my boys at soccer practice. I apparently made a turn at a stop sign without turning my blinker on to signal that I was turning left. Needless to say the police offer was right behind me.

I hate that feeling!!!! When they flick their lights on and you just know thats it’s you and no one else. Thankfully…he just let me off with a warning this time…but I still can’t say that I cherished the experience!!

It’s never happened. At least not yet. My mom has only been pulled over once on a vacation in South Dakota. Well, driving through South Dakota. I was a teen, so she must have been late 30’s or early 40’s. I’m hoping to be so lucky.