A Texan offensive linemen leads a revolution for the ‘Full Figured Fella’

Scott Jackson is an offensive lineman for the Houston Texans. This means he is not a small guy. And like many men of size, he finds it frustrating navigating in a world that doesn’t accommodate anyone other than off the rack people.

Nowadays, if you are grieved by something, you can start a blog. Lots of athletes have blogs, but Jackson’s is both genius and revolutionary.

It’s called “Triple F – The King of Big and Tall.” “Triple F” refers to the domain name www.fullfiguredfella.com. Texans right tackle Eric Winston mentioned it on his 610 am show.

Jackson has Texans-related info in there (*exclusive interviews!*) but mostly, it is written to provide helpful information to the biggly among us and to start a revolution of the physically impressive.

He clearly is a better interviewer than me because he asks questions like, “Where have you found clothes large enough to cover your massive buttered biscuits?”

I could live a million years and not think to ask such a probing question. Even so, I give you the Scott Jackson (aka “Pork Chop,” “Big Love,” and “Rampage“) interview. For better or worse, It is biscuit-reference free:

Me: Could you explain the genesis of the Triple F blog and the revolution you have started?

SJ: It is impossible to deny the evolution of man. We are expanding and enlarging with each generation. Unfortunately, clothing manufacturers and retailers aren’t keeping pace with genetic advancement. As a result, there is a growing population of superior males that are extremely limited in their selection of clothing.

So I decided to launch Full Figured Fella to stand tall above the sea of little people. Our goal is to unite to form a band of beefy brothers to combat the injustices of size discrimination. The site educates the world on the mistreatment of the alpha male. We want big men to know they aren’t alone. We also want little people to know that their days of dominating the clothing racks are over.

Me: If you could dine with any men of size, past or present, who would they be and what would be on the menu?

SJ: Easy question. Here are a list of some of the full figured fellas that would surround the table -

Arnold

Andre the Giant

Ed “Too Tall” Jones

Chris Farley

Goliath

The Ultimate Warrior

Meat Loaf

The Fridge

I would probably take them to get some Tex-Mex. I think they would enjoy a trip to Lopez’s Mexican Restaurant. I would bring my three sons (Tyler, Joel and Luke or the three headed monster known as Tyjolu) so they could rub shoulders with the masters of massive.

Me: Do you have any words you want to share with the men of size in the world?

SJ: Welcome to the revolution. There is a place for you in this world dominated by little people. Don’t let yourself be defined by an outdated sizing system. The day will come when the sizes will be as followed – 2XL = dominate, 3XL = blessed, 4XL = elite, 5XL = lucky. Stand tall whenever faced with size discrimination. Remember that little people stare out of jealousy. You are never alone.

Me: This is a Texans blog so I have to ask the obligatory Texans questions. Tell fans some about your playing career.

SJ: During my career in Tampa and Houston, I have made more babies (three) than plays. But I’m still playing for two reasons – I love football and I am uniquely able to play every position on the offensive line. I first joined the Texans in October ’06. Although I have spent most of my time here on injured reserve, it has been great to watch the organization take on a winning attitude and experience some success.

Me: People talk a lot about the type of offensive linemen you need to be to play in Alex Gibbs’ zone blocking scheme. How would you explain it to people who don’t know?

SJ: The zone scheme is generally best suited for athletic linemen. The system creates running lanes by stretching defenses out of their assigned gaps. In order to make these lanes, the players need to be able to run well. It is also helps to have a group of guys that works well together. When the line acts and reacts in unison, there is a higher likelihood of having big plays. One of the keys to our offensive success last season was having an offensive line that communicated and executed well together.

Me: Name the three most embarrassing things you could reveal about your Texan teammates that won’t get you killed.

SJ: No comment. Most things are meant to stay in the locker room.

(Steph note: Smart answer. Also it saves us from stories like The Great American Steve McKinney talking about how he eats Whataburgers on the toilet. Some things are best unknown).

Me: Who is the most massively dominant player for the Texans?

SJ: Obviously, Mario is a shining example of superior genetics. I would add more to the list but weekly weight checks have prevented some these players from realizing their maximum size potential.

• • •

Give a big thanks to Jackson for his interview and be sure to bookmark his site and leave him some comments. Oh heck, go read Triple F now because it is hilarious, and if you are reading this, you are probably goofing off because it’s only Thursday, and you can’t believe the weekend isn’t here yet. tick tick tick

I wish him the best of luck in his career and leading his massive man revolution.

Though I personally am not a Triple F, I recognize that his cause is an important one. I am related to Triple F’s and carry those genes, and am empathetic to their struggles perpetuated by the little man who tries to keep them down.

16 Responses

Did you ghost-write his responses? The guy sounds W-A-Y to clever for an NFL lineman!

[Hey, the TC blog puts the frowny face on stereotypes. But as a general rule, the best offensive linemen tend to be bright guys. And if you spend any time on his blog, you will realize he is a much funnier writer than I am. Viva la revolución. -Steph]

Amen brother! I’m nowhere near NFL proportions, but I have a pet peeve that as sizes get larger, they only get wider, but not longer. Hold up a size XL shirt next to a XXXL and you’ll see what I mean. You might get an inch in length to go with those 6 inches in width. I need length! Unless I go to a specialty store, it is nearly impossible to find tall sizes in shirts, but I can find so many X’s I think I’m at an adult video store. And if I’m having trouble, I can imagine how difficult it is for a truly big man to find clothes. Fight the good fight Scott – may there one day be a place where we can all shop together.

I am glad this problem is getting some attention. I am a skinny, long guy and it is almost impossible to find pants that fit the right way. The same goes for shirts that have the right sleeve length. Too often I look like I am wearing a grocery bag for a shirt and capri pants. My choices are often “gangsta baggy” or “Steve Urkel.”

Yeah, I was just kidding. I read Jerry Kramer’s “Instant Replay” when I was a kid (also his autobiography “Farewell to Football”). Now, I realize that Dick Schaap ghost-wrote the books but it was obvious that Kramer was a bright guy. I’ve always been a fan since (and have always had a soft spot for the Packers as well).It’s obvious from hearing Ephraim Salaam, Chester Pitts, Eric Winston and Steve McKinney hold forth on various topics that they are sharp.

The corporate fun filter has ruined my lunch plans of visiting Scott’s page, so I’m commenting here again. Just another example of the man trying to keep the big & tall guys down. Speaking of which, I guess Jeremy and I are not really “full figured fellas”, we are more “men of length”.

fool, I am surprised at you for questioning a lineman’s intelligence. You must have been a “skill player” in a former life. Isn’t one of your favorite targets a backup QB not known for his smarts? Of the 12 Ivy leaguers on NFL rosters this year, 3 were offensive linemen. Maybe not the best measure of intelligence I could use, but certainly one of the easiest to find, and I’m lazy. The others by position were RB (3), WR (2), and LB, S, QB, & TE (1 each).

My favorite measure of player intelligence is the player introductions on NBC’s Sunday night games. Some guys just sound much brighter than others. Not that you can really judge entirely by sound either, but I just can’t picture a proper British accent saying something like “John Cleese, the U.”

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION! It’s about time us full size men get the respect we deserve! I say in the next Presidential administration that Steve Jackson be the new Surgeon General! That will kick start a genecs here in the ol’ US of A That in just a few short years will have or enemies shaken in their boots to face us on any field!

I’m 6’2″ and 375 but I’ve been told I carry it well. Most people think I’m only pushing 3 bills! I just started a diet this week, I’m seeking to drop about 150 pounds of pure sexyness. My other alternative was to keep bulking up and enter the sumo draft but I decided not to when I heard they drink turtle blood, not my thing. Tell SJ that even though I’ll be skinny in 10 to 12 months that I’ll always have a plus sized heart………

SS, The terms, full figured, plus sizes & all make me laugh. There is a huge difference between a large person & an overweight person. One can be very large yet in shape. The overweight individual is just a health risk waiting for the next porkchop to hit their plate. It is inaccurate to compare the two types. On another note, large men are usually referred to in a more positive tone. “My husband is a large man”, eventhough he is just obese. While on the otherhand, a man or woman below what we consider ‘normal’ in size is usually the brunt of ‘small or short jokes’ at their expense. I have never found anything I couldn’t do because I am 5’6″ so my height has never been an issue or concern, but rather it has always been a plus. I remember one incident whenever a fellow competitor referred to me as a runt while everyone was warming up to take their turn on the platform. You see, in competitive weightlifting an individual takes his/her turn whenever the desired weight is loaded onto the bar. Lifters do not lift by weight class,etc. but by the current weight loaded. The guy that called me runt had already made 1 lift out of his 3 attempts allowed & just missed his 2nd when he strolled back to the warmup room & I, the runt, had not made my 1st attempt. He tried & failed on his 3rd & final attempt at 230lbs. in what used to be an official Olympic lift, the press, which is no longer in use competitively. While he sat on the bench, depressed that he had only 1 successful lift at 220lbs., I mentioned that it was time for the ‘runt’ to attempt my 1st lift at 245lbs. I placed 1st in my weight division by pressing 260, snatch 215 & C&J 310. The large fellow that called me runt was the 1st to congratulate me after the awards ceremony. He was not a very good weightlifter at 6’2″, 213lbs., but he was a man of great character in my book. For the years that I lifted I often beat my much larger opponents & some of them became training partners or good freinds. Even after I made headlines in the local newspapers, broke a couple of records(state) & amassed a nice trophy collection, the guys still called me little from time to time. It didn’t concern me all that much, because there is a biggie difference between being 5’6″ at 122lbs. whenever I 1st joined the Olympic(style) weightlifting team in Europe in 1967 & when my ‘career’ ended in Powerlifting at 192lbs. in 1977. I enjoyed training with guys squatting over 400, benching over 300 & deadlifting nearly 500. Because I was right there with them rep for rep. And I still got called runt, but a runt with respect from my peers. Respect of the person is what it is all about eventhough most times you have to earn it.

**DeadCoach**- Don’t worry too much about us attending the same movie & my being seated behind you. With regard to your reference of me kicking anybody’s ass, well that ship has sailed. A very long time ago. I was never a badass or even a very good weightlifter during my competitive career compared to most. I had a good group of guys that always pushed me to get better especially whenever I felt like quitting & that helped me learn a few of life’s lessons that I could draw from later on in my own life. Which brings us to why I am less Mike Tyson & more like Homer Simpson these days. At 62 I know not to get pissed off in the bleachers or at the cinema due to heads blocking my vision. I have learned to carry a pillow with me wherever I go. It makes life so much easier.

sj…little people don’t dominate the world…we just let them live in our world…peacefully! lol! i hear you, at times i had to buy huge shirts and tailor them down to my size, i wear a 56 long coat and 42 inch waist, i can never find a real suit that has smaller pants, most pants on suits are only two inches shorter then the coat in inches. as for shirts i do wear long and it is hard to find long shirts and forget about dress shirts that aren’t tailored, 4x and 5x might fit in the neck but all the extra material on the sides could be used to make matching drapes for your new office! lol!