8. Anesthesiologist asks if you want oxygen or you just want to hold your breath during the operation.

7. Doctor tells you, "If leaches were good enough for George Washington they’re good enough for you."
6. There are more process servers in waiting room than patients.
5. During exam, doctor keeps talking about the good old days treating prisoners when you didn’t even need a medical license.
4. Wants to put you under. Complaint was for an ear infection.
3. Receptionist tells caller, "Sure we’re taking new patients. That’s all we have. No one ever comes back."

2. Doctor asks if you mind if he eats a sandwich during the exam.
1. Has diploma on wall from same bogus mail order university you went
to.