10 things you shouldn’t do while dancing solo at a Sangeet Function

1. Please don’t start your dance performance by facing backwards. We’ve done it way too often in every Sangeet function for us to ignore this phenomenon.
2. Please don’t have just one song that’s happy-go-lucky and high on positive energy of the highest order, because it’s like eating 12 doughnuts for breakfast and trying to order chocolate cake for lunch. Keep a few tracks but please have some variation.
3. Costumes should be used but don’t go over-board. If you have a get up, like you’re trying cross-dressing or a character or phupa ji, then of course go for it. But try to steer clear from the shiny, sparkly, pink, black outfits. Everyone’s overdressed already.
4. Don’t put in fillers in your performance where you walk up to the crowd and don’t do any step. If you don’t have a step till the next verse starts. Walk up to a chacha ji and make him clap or a thumka. But don’t walk back and forth like a moron.
5. Don’t do the same steps that you’ve seen on screen (maybe just the hook, you can do).
6. When preparing for dance, remember the moment you do something awesome, bear in mind, relatives will come and remove “buri nazar” with a 50 rupee note if cheap, 100 rupee note if middle class, 500 rupee note if show off and cheque book if it’s someone from phir hera pheri.
So be prepared.
7. Always remember before you start your dance the audio guy will goof up, even though you give him one pen drive with one song on it.
8. Once you’ve done the thumka, don’t take the mic and start talking, grasping for air, like you’re about the give an Oscar speech. Stopping hogging all the attention. Desperately-attention-Seeking-Cousin hai na!
9. Solo dance in a Sangeet function is for people to enjoy and not your audition to Dance India Dance. So chill! Dance well but don’t show off, maybe a little bit.
10. And finally let there be no more than 2 solo performances of yours in a Sangeet function, cos let’s face it, if you haven’t made it big in dance, you suck and it’s no place for consolation.