I’m the meanest mum in the whole wide world…

Last week I denied my nine-year-old son some triviality – staying up late/ chips/ ice cream/ whatever – it was minor but he was really tired. This is what happened:

Him: *storms into his bedroom and slams the door*

One minute later… He stomps out of his bedroom…

Him (to me), cry-screaming: “TWO THINGS! First, last week at school I had to write a persuasive text and mine was that you are the best mum in the world. Well you’re not! You’re the worst! And I’m going to change my persuasive text!”

*pause because crying and snot*

Him: “Second, Father Christmas isn’t real and I know that because he always gives me books… AND I HATE READING!”

The bit that crushed me? The ‘I hate reading’ part.

Then I thought about what he’d said and I realised what a clever little cookie he is – he goes in for the kill with the obvious (that I’m the meanest mum in the world) but he clearly had had time to work on his second point, that was designed to surreptitiously upset me.

The outcome? He calmed down. And Father Christmas will still bring lots of books because Father Christmas loves to read.

You aren’t the worst mum in the whole world—that title belongs to me, and I’ve worked very hard over a number of years to earn it. My latest was when I made them go outside in the dark and scoop up the dog poo they didn’t clean up when I asked them while it was still light. In fact, I’ve just had an idea—we should run a Worst Mum in the World Competition, and see who’s really behaved the meanest!

Ha ha ha. It’s amazing how kids can figure out how to say just the right mean thing when they’re mad. I’ve had similar rants from my kids — and I can think of at least one memorable occasion when I did something along the same lines to my mom. The joys of motherhood! 🙂

I love that a nine year is able to correctly use the phrase “when I wrote my persuasive text” in a heated argument, but I also have one who doesn’t like reading and it breaks my heart – I feel your pain.
But we still keep on giving books as presents…. 🙂