Just a small vent

So one of my bridesmaids who also happens to be my future sister in law is a hair dresser. We were talking about what to do for hair and makeup for the day and had talked about her doing some and getting someone else to do the other half. I found someone to do the other half and her response was “oh great! I was thinking about it as well and I want to relax that day so I am only going to do her mom and her grandma as well as her hair. So you and your mom can get it done with the other girl.” I get not wanting to work and relax but I guess I am more annoyed because I spent over $180 getting my hair and make-up done for her wedding this past summer not to mention $400 for my dress that made me look like slimer. She has also been the most demanding of all of the bridesmaids so far. I really don’t want her in the wedding but am doing it for the sake of family. Anyway I know I am being silly but I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening!

@Western: if you’d been talking about getting her some help anyway, I don’t see the big deal? It sounds like a lot of pressure to be responsible for five people the day of a wedding that you’re a bridesmaid in.

It sounds like your relationship with her is maybe tense already and now any comment she makes that you construe negatively ticks you off. Any reason why you don’t really care for her?

Yes I know I am being silly. There are 9 people in total that need to get hair and makeup done. I think it is more of the fact that I had to spend so much money for her wedding and she is getting off really easy. And you are right we do have a tense relationship. We are just two completely different people. She is very much a pushy bossy type and I am more relaxed. Sometimes the things she says to me are not the nicest.

She sounds a little selfish and self-centered, just taking care of her own. It does take a really long time to do updos though, so you’re probably better off getting someone else to take care of you and your mom. But she might have put it in a more gracious way.

I wonder, if she is so selfish and self centred, if she would have ruined your day making a huge deal about what a contribution she is making and would not be able to take any criticism if people did not like or wanted her to tweak her work or just maybe would take too long. At least if you have paid someone and they are not family, they are not likely to kick up a huge stink.

It is a shame that she made so many demands of you when her wedding was around, though it may not particularly surprise you!

I’m with younglady! What if she decided she didn’t want to do your hair or any of the other girls hair afterall? I know it sucks when there is one person who is the sour apple in the group, but at least you will have someone doing your hair that you know will come through and do a great job. I have found that people that demanded the most in their wedding or whatever it may be, want to do the least for others. But it sounds like it’s no surprise that she’s behaving this way!

I totally understand how demanding future sister in laws can be, however, I think this might just be one of those cases where you’re reading into this too much because of the tense relationship. Don’t forget, your wedding is also her brother’s wedding. As a result, she probably takes on a little more ownership of the wedding, and probably feels entitled to relax on your wedding day. Maybe you’re right, and she’s being rude intentionally, but isn’t it always better to assume the best when it comes to family? I hope your day goes wonderfully :). I’m sure you and your bridal party will look gorgeous on your big day! 🙂

Also OP it sounds like you feel a bit put out about havingher in your wedding. Even if you aren’t openly saying anything about it I can guarantee that your body language/facial expressions at time show your true feelings ont he subject. If it was me I wouldn’t want to possibly strain the relationship further by being in charge of the brides hair. I wouldn’t want to give the bride any more ammunition to hate me if she didn’t like her hair after I tried my best.