Teaching Christian Women to Love

Teaching
Christian Women to Love

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior
as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of
good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their
husbands, to love their children” (Titus 2:3,4).

With the older Christian
ladies in the Church in Crete on his heart, Paul tells Titus to instruct them
to display holiness, and not be false accusers. The older women were also to be
careful of their wine consumption, and to be teachers of good things. Specifically,
it would be good for the older women to teach the younger women how to love
their husbands, and how to love their children. In a society where many
marriages were arranged, and children were selectively valued, Christin
teaching was needed.

The commandment of Paul
to Titus, to have the older women teach the younger women about love, is good
counsel for today. I do not know of any local Christian congregation that
deliberately sets out to obey this apostolic instruction, but a Biblical Church
could certainly have this for an agenda. A Biblical Church could have a group
of older women meet with the young women in the congregation to teach them how
to love.

In our romantic minded
society, people believe they marry for love, and then have the right to
separate and divorce when they stop loving one another. That is a worldly view
of marriage, and puts individuals on the defense when challenged. Nevertheless,
in order to stabilize society, in order to live out the ethics of the will of
God, in order to honor the Creator who has established the institution of
marriage and the home, it is always good when women do love their husbands, and
their children.

It is not hard to imagine
what the older women in Crete might have taught the younger women, because the
principles of a good marriage are of lasting value. Consider some ways a
Christian wife can cherish her husband.

Be a companion.
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will
make him an help meet for him” (Gen. 2:18). While not every activity has to be
engaged in together, there are some moments that can be shared just by being
present. More often than not, individuals tend to “do their own thing” without
sharing with one another.

Be respectful.
“Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as
himself; and the wife see that she reverences her husband” (Eph. 5:33). The
word for “reverence” is phobeo which means, “to frighten, i.e.
(passively) to be alarmed; by analogy, to be in awe of. Men love Ephesians
5:33, but women, not so much.

One immediate thought
that comes, when the relationship is not good, is that a man should earn
respect and not simply expect, or demand it.

That is a legitimate
response, to a limited degree, because, there is more to the Biblical mandate.
Biblically, for a woman to reverence, or respect her husband, is to recognize
an ordered structure as to the Lord. Ephesians
5:22 explains. “Wives, submitting yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto
the Lord.” This does not mean a woman must tolerate abusive or unkind treatment
from her husband. It does mean that there is a fundamental recognition of an
order structure that, when respected and honored, is done as unto the Lord.

In all of this, the
responsibility of the husband to the wife is not neglected. The husband is to
love his wife as Christ loved the Church (Eph. 5:25). Very few men live up to
that divine mandate, but those who do find a natural response of appreciation
and respect.

The practical question
is, “Who will go first?” “Will the wife show proper respect to her husband as
unto the Lord?” “Will the husband love his wife in the same sacrificial manner
as Christ loves the Church?”

Be helpful.
One way a wife can show love to her husband is by giving him good counsel. Not,
nagging counsel. Not, “a piece of her mind.” Rather, give good counsel as Abigail
gave (1 Sam. 25:3), and the wife of Pontius Pilate gave (Matt. 27:19).

Be devoted.
A Christian wife is committed to her husband in words, and deeds. “And Ruth
said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for
whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people
shall be my people, and thy God my God: 17 Where thou diest, will I die, and
there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death
part thee and me” (Ruth 1:16-17). While this commit was made by Ruth to her
mother-in-law, the principle is applicable to every important relationship.

Be respectful of
yourself. By being a Christian wife with new thoughts and
attitudes from the world, you show respect for yourself. “I beseech you
therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a
living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable
service. 2 And be not conformed to this
world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove
what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God” (Rom. 12:1-2).

Be Spirit filled. By
being filled with the Spirit, the fruit of the Spirit can be manifested. “But
the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness,
goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law” (Gal.
5:22, 23).

Because women today can
be selective in choosing a husband, the exhortation comes to the younger women
to look for a man you want to be a companion to, a man you can respectfully
submit to as unto the Lord, a man you want to help, give good counsel to, and
be devoted to all the days of your life.

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Reflection

Missional living is a radical concept in Christianity that embraces the mindset, behaviors, posture, and practices of a missionary in order to engage the community around us with the good news of the gospel message. This concept stands in contrast to the concept of a select group of professional missionaries, emphasizing the responsibility and duty of every Christian to fulfill the Great Commission given by Jesus Christ as the last command to his followers before he departed this world.