I wish there were more porn

And yet, notwithstanding Rule 34, there are big gaps in terms of what’s available, at least as regards my preferences and tastes.

I have a fantasy of a Venn diagram that will depict what I mean, and perhaps I’ll succeed in making one. But for now, I’ll attempt to explain in words.

In porn, there are a few tropes, a few categories, into which porn seems to be sorted. An example: MILF porn. MILF porn is not, as you might expect, simply porn featuring women who are (old enough to be) mothers of teenagers. If MILF porn looked like that, much of it would appeal to me. Alas, there are some other aspects of MILF porn that turn me off: enhanced breasts – MILF porn actors always have big breasts, generally enhanced. Woman as teacher. Younger male partners. Often, reluctant/curious young females, learning, being taught. And inevitably, sexually voracious women. MILFs don’t require seduction, they seduce. They don’t overcome obstacles to fulfillment, they offer fulfillment.

I know a lot of MILFs. None of them has enhanced breasts. And while some might, certainly, have something to teach me, and some certainly are sexually voracious, what makes them appealing to me is their beauty, their maturity, their self-knowledge. This is never depicted in MILF porn, or, if it is, it’s subordinate to silicone.

Another example: there’s a category of porn that’s generally called “glamo(u)r porn.” It’s the sort of porn you see, most particularly, on sites like X-Art and SexArt. I like this porn. SexArt, in particular. It depicts people in human, social situations, clothed, and then moving on to sex. What it doesn’t depict is, for me, the hottest part of sex: seduction. In all this porn, the action either a) inevitably is pointing toward the ultimate sex, or b) is irrelevant to the abruptly introduced sex. Add to that, the actors in this porn invariably top out at 25 or 27 years old. There are no imperfections in skin, no scars, no evidence that the people actually have been living prior to the shoot. Similarly, the backgrounds in which the sex happens are inevitably sterile, without character, achingly set-like.

Here’s what there’s not a lot of in the porn world, best I can tell: depictions of interesting, interesting-looking grown-ups (say, 30-50), getting to know one another, deciding to engage sexually with one another, and exploring their sexuality together.

There’s also not a lot of lingering on anticipation. The sorts of scenes that regular readers of this blog know that I prefer in life are precisely the sorts of scenes I’d like to see depicted. I’d like to see non-sadistic explorations of power play in interactions that are not yet explicitly sexual. I’d like to see cameras linger on beautiful people, clothed, as actors feel the initial rush of attraction – and the initial barrier of unfamiliarity. I’d like to see women in their 30s and 40s who still look good, but without the help of plastic surgery. I’d like to see flirty conversation of the sort Craig Ferguson is such a master of. Seduction, and not just fucking. (When, a few weeks ago, I watched nearly every Craig Ferguson interview available on YouTube, I felt a lot like I was watching the porn I really wanted to watch. If it had progressed just a little further, it would have been perfect….)

The “Barely Legal” series, by Hustler, actually has a lot of what I like. Attractive actors in situations in which the sex isn’t a foregone conclusion at the start of the scene, but rather, is something that arrives after at least a modicum of interaction, connection, interaction. But the series is fatally flawed, from my perspective, in at least a couple of ways. First, foremost, the overarching conceit: the women all have just turned 18. They’re virgins, or at least inexperienced. They often have teddy bears. (Ick.) If the sex is straight sex, it’s with men who are older, experienced, teaching them. And if the sex is lesbian, the women are “having fun,” “experimenting.” And throughout, there’s actually precious little passion or hunger. If the aesthetic of Barely Legal were somehow fused with that of SexArt – more connection, more context, more seduction – and the actors were fifteen or twenty years older – now that would be hot.

I know that I should be looking at “porn for women” for much of this, and perhaps, now that I’m writing about it, I’ll look more closely at the work of directors like Erika Lust. I’m always eager to learn about what I don’t know that’s out there – if you know of something that you think, based on what I’ve written, I should know about, for god’s sake, please tell me.

Post navigation

15 comments

“Here’s what there’s not a lot of in the porn world, best I can tell: depictions of interesting, interesting-looking grown-ups (say, 30-50), getting to know one another, deciding to engage sexually with one another, and exploring their sexuality together.”

You may be looking for MakeLoveNotPorn.TV. We got pitched by them to post our videos, but we don’t want to put our faces and other identifying characteristics online. Many people are willing to, from what we’ve seen.

I find MLNP totally frustrating – and annoying – in ways that I’ve written about. To start with, there’s just a smug self-satisfaction of the whole project – look at us with the great sex we have – that rubs me wrong. And second, I honestly would much prefer to see porn between people who are deciding to have sex for the first time (or who at least are pretending that’s what they’re doing) than to see established couples. That’s just my personal preference. Finally, MLNP’s payment model – and its whole site architecture – is designed for someone other than me.

I rarely watch porn and I find I tend to follow people and not types or tropes. You may be aware of all of these already but I thought I’d share them. I’m not sure they’re up your alley, but even if you find one new thing, its worth it, right?
Jizz Lee is a crush of mine. they have their own sitehttp://jizlee.com
and have also appeared in crash pad videoshttp://crashpadseries.com
i tend towards ethical and queer porn partly because they often portray the performers with more dimension. I really like on kink.com when they interview the players before and after a scene.

Courtney Trouble is another queer/alt porn maker, but somehow i don’t think you’d like her

There is so much porn available for free, I know. But after listening to some of these performers speak on podcasts and in the interest of supporting porn performers that i respect as people, i kinda got with the idea of paying for it, especially when they have sites themselves and it seems like the money is going directly to them.
hope that’s not too soapbox-y.

This is a great list, and I’ll definitely go through it systematically. I have nothing against paying for porn – I actually prefer to, and the vast majority of porn to which I jerk off, I pay for. That said, the way the payments are structured matters a lot to me. (See the comment I’m about to make elsewhere, on MLNP.tv.)

I agree that porn narrows down to certain categories, and there isn’t a lot of variation inside the categories. The players tend to look the same. I like what you said about anticipation. There’s a lot to be said for building up to action, rather than rushing right into the action. Hey, there are two gorgeous people in a mansion, and they’re having sex! Whoo! But what about a build-up before the action? I’m not sure if many viewers who are in a hurry to jerk off would go for the build-up, but I’d like to see some.