And by “electric fan,” I don’t mean a girl with high energy who loves Nickelback so much that she’ll allow anyone who’s been within five feet of Chad Kroeger to stick their Avril in her Lavigne. I mean, a literal electric fan, with sharp blades and electricity and OH MY GOD WHY. Chad Kroeger? More like Chad BROeger.

MH: Do you have a favorite wild story from your past, something you did or witnessed during a Nickelback tour that still makes you think, “I can’t believe that happened?”

CK: We’ve always been very close to our crew, so we’ve had a lot of fun getting them to do silly, stupid things that could possibly cause them to hurt or injure themselves in some way. We were in Germany years ago—this was one of my favorite stories—and we were just bored. There was a heat wave going on in Germany. In a back room in the venue where we were playing, there was an old fan with a metal blade. I don’t remember the last time I saw a fan with a metal blade. And we paid the drum tech…. Oh god, I forget the exact amount. I think we got the pot up to about 600 deutschmarks. At this time Germany hadn’t converted to the Euro yet.

MH: 600 deutschmarks to do what?

CK: Stick his johnson in the fan.

MH: Please tell me he said no.

CK: He took the money.

MH: Oh sweet Moses.

CK: I can still hear the “bleh-bleh-blehhhhhhh” of the blade slowly sputtering to a stop, and this blood-curdling scream. It was fantastic. Somebody has video footage of this somewhere that needs to be resurrected and shown at the guy’s next birthday party. (Via)

And with that single “blood-curdling” scream, Nickelback’s been able to record 10 years worth of vocal tracks. In tangentially related penis musician news: the Justin Bieber, or “Just-In Beaver,” sex doll is now a thing.

Psh, SOME sex toy. He didn’t even win those Grammys he was nominated for.