It’s ironic isn’t it, how simple the question is – ‘what do you love doing?’ – and yet how hard it can be to answer.

For some it’s easy, but others like me for most of my life, there’s been a wall of shoulds, doubts, fears and rules in the way. Really, we all know what we want and love deep down, but it’s another matter altogether to ALLOW ourselves those things.

Why I can’t do what I love

It’s incredible the number of reasons the mind comes up with for why we couldn’t possible do this, or give ourselves that. “It’s too indulgent, too expensive, too big, not serious enough, not meaningful enough, not going to bring in the money” etc etc.

What are the reasons you give yourself for not doing what you love? I’d love to hear them in the comments, and I think you’ll find it liberating to get them out and see how ridiculous they can be. When you become aware of the false beliefs holding you back from doing what you love and want, you are a step closer to being able to give yourself those things. And when you do, it is so deeply nourishing and enlivening.

Wantings refuel and enliven you

I’ve just gotten back from being away in nature – at the beach, on the coast, in the forest – and I’m still amazed at the effect it is has on me. I feel like a different person after giving myself one of my deepest wantings – to be immersed in the natural world. It’s like I’m glowing from the inside out. I’ve been refuelled.

This is what doing what you love gets you in contact with – Life. And you can see the people who give themselves permission to do what they love and want – they are alive! They have a sparkle in their eye. They might still be busy but they feel a ‘good tired’ because they’re driven by a love for what they’re doing rather than obligation. Their enthusiasm and liveliness is infectious.

Before making the leap to doing what you love for your living (watch the brilliant clip at the end for this one), it can help to take small steps and do what you love on the side. Volunteer for a local garden. Learn how to scuba dive. Join a walking group. Start a tango class.

Whatever it is, don’t disregard it because it’s too big or too small. Simply do it and then do more of it. Make it a priority so it gradually becomes more than a ‘side thing’. Take your wantings and what you love seriously. They’re your life blood.

What if I can’t feel what I want?

Have you been brought up to believe you can’t have what you want? Unfortunately, this can lead to a shutting down so you can’t even feel what you love anymore. What then? Well, for starters, you are not alone. While it may be the most natural thing in the world to do what you love, the conditioning of our upbringing and education can make it seem anything but.

I’ve had clients who have felt if they do what they really want, they will be rejected by loved ones / lose all they’ve invested in / become destitute etc. The threat can feel incredibly real, even though of course it’s usually not.

So how do I work with these clients? Together we source where these fears came from, when they started, in order to become free from them. In the ISIS session/s we focus on the ‘belly’ – the storehouse of desires and wantings. Often clients need to regress to their childhood to fully reconnect with the raw aliveness of their wantings and to what they loved doing so spontaneously back then. As they become more comfortable with feeling these wantings again, they can be integrated and expressed in their life now.

What about you?

It would be great to hear the reasons you give yourself for why you can’t do what you love, as well as what you love doing and are going to do more of! Let us know in the comments.

Like what you’ve read?

Sign up to my email list to receive guidance on finding real meaning and fulfilment in your life plus some great free resources on relationships!