You don’t know you’re going to develop an anxiety disorder in your 30’s yet, and there’s nothing I can say to you that will stop that from coming.

Everything is already in place; the seeds of your disorder have been planted.

All I can tell you now is what I wish I’d have known when I was your age.

As you’re struggling to navigate the complexities of growing from an independent teenager into full-blown adulthood, life is going to seem pretty dark at times over the years to come.

Here are some things I need you to hold on to from now until you don’t need me to guide you anymore.

You are loved.

While you might not feel this as you look around the room you’re in, there are people all around you who love and care for you and would do anything to see you happy.

People don’t always come right out and say they love you. But look for the comforting pats on your arm, the gifts which people mistakenly think replace feelings (they don’t, but if the intention is there, it’s love), and the people who are happy when you’re winning.

Those people love you but it’s up to you to learn how to receive it.

Be thankful social media doesn’t exist yet.

Social media is going to become a new form of communication in the future, and you wouldn’t be able to cope with it at your impressionable age. Friendships will be made and broken over the internet, and people will start to put their value in their own online profile and each other’s.

Be thankful you’re not 16 in the social media era as you don’t have much self-confidence at the moment, and the pressure this would put on you now would destroy you.

You don’t like to look in the mirror yet (don’t worry, you’ll get over this and learn to love your outside as well as your inside), so your happy-go-lucky selfies will be fake, and that will start to come across in your real-life personality. By the time social media arrives, you’ll be much more confident and able to take the things you read online with a pinch of salt.

For now, be thankful that the only public footprint of your 16th year is in your high school yearbook, and no one will ever judge you for that!

Communication is the key. To everything.

You’ve never been a very good talker. So far, you’ve always kept things bottled up. As you start to recover from anxiety you’ll realise that communicating with those who understand you will be the one thing that helps you most on your journey.

You may never recover fully from anxiety, but learning how to talk about it will make the disorder bearable and a normal part of your life. Don’t ever stop communicating with people who get you, even if you don’t get anything out of the conversation, you never know who’s watching, listening, and learning from you.

There are times, my teenage friend, that you’re going to hit rock bottom. If I could tell you all the things that would happen to you, you’d run a mile right now. Which is why I won’t. We’ll keep it as a surprise. Those tough times are essential for your growth, and you must never run from a hard situation.

You need to experience difficult things, grow from them, build strength from them and take all your lessons with you to the next part of your journey.

The bad times that are ahead of you are nothing to be afraid of and once you come through them (which you always will), the good times will be so much better because of them.

Don’t be afraid to walk away from people who drag you down.

And no, I don’t mean the friends you’re bunking off school and smoking cigarettes with at the moment, they’re all good people.

No, I mean the friends who don’t make you feel good inside. The ones who go out of their way to criticise you, to be negative, and to make you well and truly feel that they’re better than you.

Those friends will come into your life every day from now until the moment you die, but you’ll get better at spotting them.

You’ll get so used to feeling good about yourself that when someone tries to drag you down, you won’t take it.

Those people will trigger your anxiety in future and it’ll be really easy for you to walk away from them without causing drama, without causing a scene, and with the knowledge that their issues are nothing to do with you.

And you’ll do it all without looking back.

You’re going to learn how to be vulnerable, and it’ll be the best lesson of your life.

When you develop an anxiety disorder, you’ll realise that you’ve kept a lot of things bottled up for a long time. You’ll learn to let this out and talk to people around you. You’ll learn that it’s more than OK to not be OK and if people around you can’t deal with that then you’re better off without them.

When you learn to show your vulnerability, you’ll learn that your relationships are fewer and further between but stronger and more solid.

This is the way life is meant to be.

Without learning how to talk to people and sharing your feelings beyond a surface layer, you’ll never make those connections that your life will ultimately come to depend on.

Don’t delay crashing to rock bottom and finally accepting your anxiety. Anxiety will turn out to be the best thing that ever happens to you because through this process of understanding your anxiety you’ll get to know yourself, accept yourself, and learn how to live the life you were created for.

If you can stop putting off the crash and bring it forward so you can start to rebuild sooner, you should.

16-year-old me, lastly, please just be you.

Once you remove the behaviours and thought patterns you’ve adopted as coping mechanisms or to fit in with the crowd, you’ll be much happier, more confident and, if I’m allowed to say it, much more pleasant to be around.

Yes, anxiety is going to hit you like a tonne of bricks and it’ll make you think your life is never going to be the same again.

It won’t be, but that’s not a bad thing.

Love from 30-something-year old Jo.

PS – 16-year-old me, if you really feel that you’re on your own once anxiety does hit you, go and search out the Anxiety Buddy Facebook Group. It’s a community of people who all experience anxiety and get what you’re going through. They’ll help you understand your anxiety and will let you know that you’re never alone.

Jo Robinson

Founder - Anxiety Buddy

ABOUT THE AUTHOR.Jo was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in 2014 and knows what it’s like to live with the crippling disorder and suffer in silence. She also knows how much easier anxiety is to manage when you connect with others and have a strong support network around you. Jo is committed to normalising anxiety and helping others understand their anxiety to reduce the impact it has on everyday life.

]]>https://anxietybuddy.net/dear-16-year-old-youre-going-get-anxiety-disorder-will-ok/feed/0BTS (Behind The Smile) of someone living with anxiety.https://anxietybuddy.net/665-2/
https://anxietybuddy.net/665-2/#respondFri, 20 Oct 2017 01:38:21 +0000https://anxietybuddy.net/?p=665The post BTS (Behind The Smile) of someone living with anxiety. appeared first on Anxiety Buddy.
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Have you ever been going about your day and suddenly felt the physical urge to run?

As fear washes over you, you know you’re in danger and you have to escape.

From the outside looking in, I’m over-reacting. “Move along please, nothing to see here,” says the crowd. From the inside looking out, the battle rages on.

Aside from the sense of impending danger that arises as a result of various triggers (which can be as simple as a smell or sound), my anxiety presents itself in many physical and emotional responses.

Anxiety, to me, is lying in bed at night replaying conversations from the day over and over. Did I say the wrong thing? Was my tone misconstrued? Do I need to apologise. Again, and again. The panic is palpable as it rises up through my stomach and sticks in my throat, as I believe I’ve mistakenly offended someone, anyone, I care for.

Anxiety is fretting about the future…will my business fail? What would happen if I crashed my car tomorrow? How will I cope if my family get sick?

Anxiety is waking up in the middle of the night mid-panic, banging the walls, desperately trying to escape from the suffocation that took over while I slept. And then, a moment of relief as I realise I’m safe, before the dread sets in that as soon as I drift off again, the suffocation will return. Too exhausted to stay awake, too scared to sleep.

Anxiety is the feeling of utter loneliness in the dark of night. Convinced that my next breath will be my last. Anxiety is that same feeling in the light of day, surrounded by people, but just as alone.

Anxiety is avoiding the shopping centre because the noise, the lights, the smells, the people, all over-stimulate my already heightened senses and send me into a spin.

Anxiety is feeling devastated that I’m not invited somewhere. Yet, when I am, not being able to go because I can’t get past my own front door. What if I don’t know anyone? What if I have a panic attack? What if I say the wrong thing? I’m safer at home. And then beating myself up because I let the anxiety that races around in my head win the battle.

Anxiety is the room spinning in the middle of an important work meeting when I’ve got to pay attention and contribute. And trying to ground myself without showing anyone what’s happening behind my smile.

Anxiety is depersonalisation…the feeling that I’m detached from my body and my voice belongs to someone else. Every damn day.

Anxiety convinces me I’m having a heart attack. Or cancer. Or a stroke. Or a brain tumour. Or some other terminal illness. Even though the medical report is clear…“there has to be something wrong“, says anxiety.

Anxiety is not being able to go out and drink with my friends, even though I really want to, because I know the next two days will be spent in a big ball of unbearable hangover anxiety.

Anxiety is desperately searching Google frantically trying to find the answers. But only ending up with more scarier-than-before questions.

Anxiety is the feeling that no one understands me. Anxiety tells me that I’m all alone.

Anxiety is here to stay. Anxiety is me.

The anxiety behind your smile might be different.

You see, that’s the thing with anxiety. Once you’ve learnt and understood your symptoms, along come some new ones. You can’t compare your anxiety to someone else’s anxiety…how it affects people can be as unique as a fingerprint.

And that’s why it’s so important that we can all talk about anxiety comfortably without feeling ashamed. Without being judged. Without someone telling you how you should be.

Medication, therapy, and introducing self-care techniques will all help to reduce the impact anxiety has on your life but, once a bout of anxiety turns into a disorder, it’s here to stay.

Sure, there will be good times and bad, but get comfortable with the discomfort…anxiety is now a part of you.

And that’s why Anxiety Buddy exists.

I’m an educated, confident, 30-something business-owner who has a great social circle. I attend business meetings, I go to the gym regularly and I have hopes and dreams like everyone else. I’ve worked on my anxiety for years and I understand my condition and manage it well. I can talk openly and freely to anyone and everyone about anxiety. Yet, when anxiety strikes, my mind ignores all that and I feel like I’m in this on my own. (You can read the rest of my story here).

When you experience anxiety, you can feel like no one understands you and all the therapy in the world won’t take you out of that moment where you need to run and all your other symptoms start creeping in. Or, as in most cases, the symptoms will overpower your body and mind in a split second, before you have time to put your coping strategies in place.

In the Anxiety Buddy Facebook group, you’re surrounded by a community of people who understand. People whose symptoms may be different from yours but who understand exactly what you’re going through at exactly the time you’re going through it.

We share tips on what helps our anxiety. We discuss treatment, medication, and therapy techniques from our own experiences. We reach out when anxiety feels like it’s taking over.

We connect positively, and we support each other.

We are never alone.

Whatever your symptoms, however anxiety makes you feel, join the Anxiety Buddy Facebook Group today and connect with people who understand you and never feel alone again.

Jo Robinson

Founder - Anxiety Buddy

ABOUT THE AUTHOR.Jo was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in 2014 and knows what it’s like to live with the crippling disorder and suffer in silence, She also knows how much easier anxiety is to manage when you connect with others and have a strong support network around you. Jo is committed to normalising anxiety and helping others understand their anxiety to reduce the impact it has on everyday life.

Anxiety is just like a schoolyard bully.

Physically and emotionally hurting you day after day, filling you with fear that it will strike at any moment. It leaves you on edge, never knowing when you’re going to receive its next painful punch.

It’ll tell you you’re fighting the battle on your own. It’ll tell you that you should be ashamed of talking about it with those around you. It’ll tell you that nobody cares.

Bullies hold their power by scaring their victims into silence, just like anxiety does. Bullies shame their targets into suffering alone, just like anxiety does. And bullies don’t ever go away until you start to talk about how they affect you…just like anxiety.

But while talking about it and connecting with others will help you manage your anxiety, the fact is that it’s still one of the hardest things to discuss, even with those closest to you.

There’s a social stigma attached to anxiety, and, as sufferers, it’s all too easy to believe it’s lies.

Whether you’re still in the early stages of understanding the impact anxiety is having on your life, or perhaps you’ve been suffering for a while but you just can’t think of anything worse than talking about your anxiety, here are six ways that connecting with others will help you beat the anxiety-bully and reduce the grip that it currently has on your life.

How many nights have you laid in bed wide awake feeling the heart of your insomnia beat in time with the alarm clock? With every tick you know it’s only a matter of hours, minutes, seconds, before you must get out of bed and put your game face on.

The middle of the night loneliness is palpable knowing that at the end of your sleepless night is just another day of pretending that everything’s fine.

You start the day by covering up to your colleagues that your heart’s pounding out of your chest. Perhaps you keep it a secret from the mums at school drop-off that you truly believe you’re about to drop down dead on the playground right in front of them. You urge your palms to stop sweating and the palpitation to slow down before anyone notices that something is really wrong.

Either that, or you risk the shame that will come from everyone finding out that you have an anxiety disorder. “You’re weak”, “you’re not fit to be a mum”, “you’re nuts”, they’ll say.

I know this, because I’ve been there.

I put that mask on day after day. And it nearly killed me more than the anxiety itself. It’s exhausting. It’s terrifying.

Taking that mask off, though, and having an open and honest conversation with the people around you about what’s going on not only takes away some of the exhaustion, it also gives people the opportunity to say, ‘oh yes, me too’

And believe me, people say it!

Once you start connecting with people you’ll be surprised at just how many others share those middle-of-the-night fears with you. You’ll realise how many of those you know and love are also putting makeup over a condition that’s slowly seeped into every area of their life. You’ll find out how your happiest and most confident associates constantly wonder if that’s the sound of their heart pounding in their chest, or if it’s just the footsteps of the team of professionals marching in to come and take them away.

You’re not on your own as an anxiety sufferer, and talking about it with others will help you realise this and will remove some of the isolation from your condition.

2)People will understand you so they can help you more.

Even if people can’t identify with your symptoms, telling them what’s going on will help them understand you.

Anxiety tends to encourage us to push people away. We feel ashamed. We worry that we’re a burden. We hold on tight to the detrimental thoughts that people just don’t want us to be around them.

So, we distance ourselves. We push people away before they do it to us.

I’ve included myself in this because, again, I’ve been there. I get it.

And because I’ve been there, I also know that having the confidence and strength to tell people about your disorder will combat that in a heartbeat.

Rather than turning down invitations with a flat out “no”, your response automatically changes to “no, I don’t feel good” and your friends will understand.

They’ll check on you. They’ll see if there’s anything they can do to help. And they’ll invite you along the next time.

By not understanding your condition, your friends and family will possibly think you don’t care about them. Because, after all, that’s the impression the anxiety-bully wants us to give them.

People love you and they need the opportunity to display this love. You’re the only person who can give that to them by being open and honest and giving them a chance to be there for you.

3) You’ll get a better understanding of your disorder.

The more you talk to people about anxiety, the more you open yourself up to hearing advice and learning from the experience of others.

Anxiety is such a multi-faceted disorder. While there are some symptoms and management strategies that are common, rarely do two people deal with their disorder in exactly the same way.

Connecting with others will help you understand that what you’re going through is normal. You’re also likely to learn about different techniques which will help you manage your own anxiety so you can take back control of your life.

Imagine if that person you sit next to on the bus is going through the same thing as you. Imagine if they’ve been up all night worrying about how they’re going to get through another day. Imagine that their game face is firmly on just as much as yours is.

Perhaps they need to hear that they’re not on their own too. Perhaps they need to know how you’re coping – or not coping – to give them some encouragement.

Perhaps your voice will help someone else, just as much as theirs will help you.

You don’t know who you’re influencing when you start talking about anxiety and using your words might have a far reaching positive impact that you don’t even know about.

5) You’ll take the power out of some of your fears.

Anxiety is a disorder deep-rooted in fear. OK, those fears might be unfounded (I’d never say irrational, all fears are rational in my book), but they’re still very real for the person living them. And the one thing about fears is that the more you build them up in your head, the more power they hold.

I’m not saying for a second that talking to someone about your fear will instantly cure your anxiety disorder, but it might reduce the power of some of your triggers.

I used to have a fear of flying because I had no idea what was happening when the plane landed. Once I learnt what the noises meant, that wheels come down before the plane hits the runway, that pilots are prepared with a second engine if the first one fails, my fear of flying started to diminish. Along with it, so did my anxiety that surrounded flying.

Talk to someone to understand your symptoms, and get the knowledge that will reduce the fear that they can cause.

6) Your life becomes less lonely.

Human connection makes the globe spin. It gives us a sense of belonging, it helps us to make sense of our problems, and it energises us when we’re feeling low.

For an anxiety sufferer, those are three key elements which you need to work on if you’re going to manage anxiety to live a life that is happy, fulfilled, and complete.

If your anxiety impacts your social life, or going out often is too hard for you right now, you don’t have to meet people face to face to have a connection. You can talk on the phone, send a text message, or connect online.

Remember – anxiety is a liar.

You’re not alone, and people do want to talk to you about it. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your immediate family and friends or a trained professional, join the Anxiety Buddy Facebook group and connect with fellow anxiety sufferers today.

In the group, you’ll find like-minded people who are at different stages of their journey with anxiety. Some you’ll help, some will help you and there’s no judgment at all. Everyone in the forum gets IT, and they get YOU!

Jo Robinson

Founder - Anxiety Buddy

ABOUT THE AUTHOR.Jo was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in 2014 and knows what it’s like to live with the crippling disorder and suffer in silence, She also knows how much easier anxiety is to manage when you connect with others and have a strong support network around you. Jo is committed to normalising anxiety and helping others understand their anxiety to reduce the impact it has on everyday life.

]]>https://anxietybuddy.net/anxiety-blog-beat-the-anxiety-bully/feed/0Anxiety insomnia: How to get your sleep back when you have anxiety.https://anxietybuddy.net/break-insomnia-cycle-get-good-nights-sleep-anxiety/
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Anxiety insomnia is just another one of those all-too-familiar vicious cycles.

Anxiety leads to lack of sleep, and lack of sleep leads to anxiety.

Every morning your alarm clock goes off and, with a fuzzy head from the two minutes that you did manage to close your eyes for, you promise yourself that tonight’s going to be the night you get a good night’s sleep.

You feel like crap all day and can’t wait to get in bed.

Then, the second your weary head hits the pillow (finally!), your eyes are wide open, your mind is racing, and the whole process starts again.

Tossing and turning.

Overthinking and wishing you could turn the clock back on conversations you’ve had that day.

Or lying there full of fear and dread for the future.

Knowing that with every passing second, you’re going to feel a little bit worse tomorrow which stresses you out so there’s no chance you’ll get to sleep now.

Now I know you identify with this scenario.

And I know that lack of sleep makes you feel like crap every day. But what I don’t know is whether you know just how important it is that you get good sleep when you have anxiety?

Apart from the fact that lack of sleep makes you feel rubbish which can trigger anxiety attacks, lack of sleep also makes your brain think that you’re under threat.

This triggers the fight-or-flight response which leads to a surge of cortisol which causes the anxiety.

I could write all day about how important it is that you get enough sleep when you suffer with anxiety, but that’s a blog for another day.

Today, I want to give you my tips on how I get a good night’s sleep despite my anxiety.

I didn’t sleep for three months when I started counselling. And I hadn’t slept for about a year before that, so I know it’s not a quick fix.

But with a combination of the following nine things, I got into habits which took the fear out of sleeping and turned it back into the relaxing activity that it’s meant to be!

Here are nine things I implemented which contributed to me getting my sleeping patterns back to break the insomnia cycle.

Beating anxiety insomnia reduced the effects of anxiety and helped me live a more normal life.

1)Turn your phone off.

Having the world at your fingertips while trying to quiet a racing mind is a recipe for disaster. Social media, news pages, Google searching your symptoms…when you can’t sleep those are the activities which will add to the problem, not solve it.

Turning your phone to silent won’t do the trick either because those vibrations still manage to penetrate your peace! Turning your phone off before bed isn’t something that you need to do for the rest of your life, but it’s a great temporary measure while you get back into the habit of falling asleep.

2) Don’t look at the time during the night.

If you don’t turn your phone off but you keep it on silent, make a promise with yourself that you won’t look at it until your alarm goes off. Knowing how long I had left before I had to get up used to stress me out and make falling asleep harder. I still don’t ever look at the time if I wake up in the night and it means that I’ll mostly drop straight back off if I wake for any reason, safe in the knowledge that I still have a few hours left, even if it’s only five minutes!

3) Turn all devices off at least two hours before bed.

Laptops, tablets, phones, PCs. Off, off, and off!! I could ramble something scientific about iPads having backlights in them which makes your brain thinks it’s daytime so it finds it harder to sleep, but I won’t (even though they might). Instead I’ll say that if you’re in front of a screen, your brain is active and that’s the last thing it should be before bed! Switch them off, read a book, just lie there. It’s a hard habit to get into but one that is just as hard to get out of!

Meditation is something which has a personal meaning to everyone and it’s not something I can advise you on. Some people see it as ‘thinking’ or ‘contemplating’, others see it as altering your consciousness or praying to a higher power. There are many Western variations from traditional meditation and your interpretation is your own.

What I can tell you is that to get out of your own head twice a day is one of the best things you might be able to do for your sleeping pattern!

5) Deep breathing.

Oh, be still my beating heart. Don’t change your breathing patterns randomly, always seek advice before you do this. If you know how to practice deep breathing, before bed is an excellent time to do so. Deep breathing regulates the cortisol (stress hormone) levels in your body, it reduces anxiety, it increases the flow of oxygen and makes you feel more relaxed.

6) Write in your journal.

Now that your devices are switched off you have plenty of time to write in your journal! Oh, don’t worry if you don’t know what to say, or if your handwriting’s terrible, these memoirs are never going to get published. You might not even look back on them yourself. What journaling does do though is help you process emotions and deal with the feelings that your brain can’t process on its own. Letting it all out before bed will help calm your brain and may reduce some incidences of overthinking. A professional can advise you further on any strategy surrounding your journaling.

7) Exercise.

Every damn day!

Exercising before bed isn’t necessarily advisable but going for a run, swim, gym class or even a powerwalk is advisable as many out of the seven days as you can imagine. Exercise uses energy which naturally makes you more tired so your body fights against your mind to catch those elusive Zzzz’s. Off topic, exercise also releases endorphins (the happy hormone) which naturally counteracts anxiety and low mood. But that’s also a blog for another day!

8) Put lavender on your pillow.

Pop a couple of drops of lavender essential oil on your pillow before you go bed and I promise you will notice a difference. OK, you may not, but I do! As soon as I inhale I can feel my blood start to slow as my body and mind both relax. If you can’t stand the smell of it, you’ll get used to it, and it will be worth it!

9) Avoid alcohol.

While alcohol might seem like the obvious solution, passing out doesn’t constitute a good night’s sleep. Quite the opposite. Alcohol is a stimulant so even if you keep your eyes closed for a full eight hours after you’ve been drinking, you don’t reach the REM state that your body needs to rest and repair, so you’ll end up feeling just as groggy the next day.

Everyone’s different when it comes to methods on getting a good night’s sleep and I’d love to know your tips and tricks on how to get a good night’s sleep when you feel anxious.

If you want to know more about how I live with an anxiety disorder to live a life that’s happy, healthy, and fulfilled, buy the Freedom Reigns eBook and join the Anxiety Buddy community today!

Jo Robinson

Founder - Anxiety Buddy

ABOUT THE AUTHOR.Jo was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in 2014 and knows what it’s like to live with the crippling disorder and suffer in silence, She also knows how much easier anxiety is to manage when you connect with others and have a strong support network around you. Jo is committed to normalising anxiety and helping others understand their anxiety to reduce the impact it has on everyday life.

]]>https://anxietybuddy.net/break-insomnia-cycle-get-good-nights-sleep-anxiety/feed/0Anxiety Disorder survival kit: Five things I couldn’t leave the house without.https://anxietybuddy.net/anxiety-disorder-survival-kit-five-things-couldnt-leave-house-without/
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Like most anxiety sufferers, I didn’t just wake up one day with an anxiety disorder.

From my first anxiety attack, it was over two years later that the pieces were all put together. I endured two years of fear, confusion, loneliness and exhaustion before I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and could finally start to rebuild my life.

During those two years, leaving the house became less spontaneous, and more of a process. Slowly but surely, as the anxiety took more of a hold on my life, going outside had become a mission in itself.

Shopping centres triggered me, social events made me uncomfortable, and the mere thought of having to ‘perform’ at work all day exhausted me.

I had no knowledge on how to deal with any of this, so I’d resorted to my own strategies.

Subconsciously, I developed a bit of a survival toolkit. As my list of essentials that I couldn’t leave home without grew so did the size of my handbags! I often found myself carrying around grocery bags full of things I believed that I couldn’t do without.

You know what it’s like when you grab your wallet and keys and head out for a walk or to the shop? There was no such thing for me. I had to prepare for every eventuality. Here are five things I couldn’t leave the house without.

1 – Rescue Remedy.
Or ‘freakout spray’ as one of my friends named it!

After I first started having panic attacks, someone suggested that Rescue Remedy might help. I bought the spray, the drops, and was always sucking on a chewy pastille. The thought of not having Rescue Remedy to hand bought me out in more of a cold sweat than the anxiety itself, and I went through phases where I’d practically drink the stuff.

Did it do any good? I’m not sure, especially after all that time, but it was a comfort to know it was there.

2 – Nurofen.I had a huge fear of headaches and could never be more than a couple of minutes away from a pack of Nurofen. Even if I went for a beach walk or just popped to the shops, I’d always sneak some Nurofen in my wallet with my keys and money.

3 – A bottle of water.If I became too thirsty and dehydrated, I needed to know that I’d be able to save myself with a bottle of water on hand. I live in 21st century Australia, can you ever be more than a foot away from a lifesaving drink of H20?? Try telling that to an anxious brain…

If I got too hungry, I’d like to know I had an option for something to eat before I passed out. Again, we’re in 21st Century Australia with a shop on every corner, plus, you know, fat reserves, but that muesli bar had to be with me at all times.

I’m not sure if I ever ate one, I just needed to know it was there

5 – My iPad.If anything came up that I didn’t understand, I needed to know I had an instant link to knowledge. I had a Smartphone at the time, but that wasn’t quite enough to meet my Googling needs. My iPad was my security blanket in case something happened to me that I hadn’t experienced before. In case I needed to Google a new symptom.

No matter what happened to my body (trust me, strange things were happening every day!), as long as I had my iPad with me, I’d always have a connection to someone who could tell me what it meant.

That’s why Anxiety Buddy exists.

To provide a human connection between you and other sufferers who know what you’re going through. If I had someone to talk to when I needed them, instead of tapping into the chaotic world of Google searches, I know I would have gotten the help I needed sooner.

Anxiety Buddy would have made such a positive difference to me when my anxiety was at its peak and when I didn’t understand what was happening to me.

Having the human connection that Anxiety Buddy provides would also have meant that I didn’t feel so alone, which made the anxiety worse.

These days, all that you’ll find in my handbag are the usuals; money, keys, and phone, and half the time I don’t even remember the basics!

You can take all the precautions you need, but when anxiety hits, there’s nothing you can carry with you which will make it pass any quicker (apart from medication, obviously).

Essentials for my anxiety survival toolkit now are understanding, acceptance, and management strategies which I put into place as soon as I recognise I need to.

If you want to know more about how I live with an anxiety disorder to live a life that’s happy, healthy, and fulfilled, buy the Freedom Reigns eBook and join the Anxiety Buddy community today!

Jo Robinson

Founder - Anxiety Buddy

ABOUT THE AUTHOR.Jo was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in 2014 and knows what it’s like to live with the crippling disorder and suffer in silence, She also knows how much easier anxiety is to manage when you connect with others and have a strong support network around you. Jo is committed to normalising anxiety and helping others understand their anxiety to reduce the impact it has on everyday life.

]]>https://anxietybuddy.net/anxiety-disorder-survival-kit-five-things-couldnt-leave-house-without/feed/0Anxiety headache: Four ways to stop the anxiety attack a simple headache can cause.https://anxietybuddy.net/anxiety-blog-anxiety-headache/
https://anxietybuddy.net/anxiety-blog-anxiety-headache/#respondSun, 14 May 2017 04:40:56 +0000https://anxietybuddy.net/?p=545The post Anxiety headache: Four ways to stop the anxiety attack a simple headache can cause. appeared first on Anxiety Buddy.
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Between 2012 and 2014, anxiety headaches took over my life.

Staples in my diet were processed foods, lots of wine, and Nurofen.

My anxiety has always surrounded my health, but after a friend developed a brain tumour in 2012, my brain had my body believe that I was going to get one too.

Every twinge or ache in my head, neck, or eyes, brought on a full-blown anxiety attack; and fast. A headache, or even the thought of getting one, gave me severe anxiety at least once a day, sometimes more.

I was never far away from a 12-pack of Nurofen and I even got to the point where I’d take them ‘just in case’. I dread to think of the damage this caused to my stomach, but I try not to focus too much on that.

When I had my first CBT session in 2014, headaches, and anything surrounding them, were identified as one of my anxiety triggers. My counsellor gave me strategies on how to overcome this so I could learn to live my life again without a common headache ruining it.

These days, a headache is a headache for me, and rarely do they bother me like they used to. Here are four things I did (and still do when anxiety hits), to gain back control of the headaches that were dominating my life.

1) I identified possible reasons to get a headache.
Someone told me there are over 50 causes of a headache, and only a few of those are serious. I can’t reference that figure because, statistically, it’s not the point I’m trying to make. The fact is, there are so many reasons to have a headache and only a few of them put your life in jeopardy. Ranging from simple dehydration, hormonal changes, and tiredness, to more serious reasons such as the tumours and the chronic illness.

Instead of reaching for Nurofen when a headache hit, I learnt to reach for rationality.

I’d pick up a paper and pen and physically start listing all the reasons people have headaches. By the time I’d get to five or six I’d already started to calm down and avoid the anxiety attack.

How many reasons for a headache can you list? Could you get to 50?

2) I’d have a drink of water.
Dehydration is one of the most common reasons to have a headache. If you don’t drink enough water throughout the day to keep your brain hydrated, it starts to shrink and pull away from your skull. That’s what causes the pain. If I began to get a headache, the first thing I’d do is have a big drink and wait a few minutes for it to subside. Which, generally, it would.

Now, I very rarely leave home without a bottle of water in my bag (sorry Mr Chiropractor!) so I’ve always got access to some H20 as and when I need it.

3) I’d rate my pain.
The fact is that some headaches do need medical attention. It’s important to know the difference and not ignore potentially serious health problems. So every time I’d get a headache, before I dismissed it as nothing, I’d give myself a little self-examination.

I’d rate the severity of my headache on a scale of one to ten. One being a slight inconvenience, and ten being unable to lift my head off the pillow. Rarely did I ever get above a three. My counsellor used to say that if a headache makes you vomit, you should always seek medical attention. Never once have I vomited from a headache. Learning to identify and pay attention to how severe my headache was, meant that rationally, it was never as bad as my mind would have me believe.

4) I stopped waiting for it.
The fear of when the next headache would hit would, nine times out of ten, lead to a headache. I’d wake up every day and check in with myself. Do I have a headache? Is a headache on its way? That might sound laughable to some, but, for me, it was a very real part of my anxiety disorder. And it was exhausting.

As with most anxiety symptoms, a headache is a vicious cycle. Stress and anxiety cause headaches, and headaches cause the anxiety. As you become tense in your neck and jaw, you’re likely to give yourself a headache in the process. My counsellor taught me how to deal with only what I’m experiencing in that moment rather than planning and waiting for something to happen. This alone reduced the frequency of the anxiety headaches. After a while, I found that when I then got a headache, I wasn’t in the habit of having an anxiety attack over it and could deal with it for what it was.

These days, with so much awareness around my mind and body, I haven’t touched Nurofen or Panadol for over two years.
If a headache lasts longer than a few hours, I’ll investigate it further, but until then, I’ve learnt how not to give it any ‘head space’ (see what I did there?!) whatsoever.

What are your health worries? Does anyone share my health anxiety surrounding headaches? If so, a course of cognitive behavioural therapy will give you tools and strategies to work out how to deal with that. If you haven’t already, I’d recommend making an appointment with your doctor to discuss your referral options.

Trust me, as crippling as it might feel right now; health anxiety CAN get better with a bit of work.

If you want to know more about how I live with an anxiety disorder to live a life that’s happy, healthy, and fulfilled, buy the Freedom Reigns eBook and join the Anxiety Buddy community today!

Jo Robinson

Founder - Anxiety Buddy

ABOUT THE AUTHOR.Jo was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in 2014 and knows what it’s like to live with the crippling disorder and suffer in silence, She also knows how much easier anxiety is to manage when you connect with others and have a strong support network around you. Jo is committed to normalising anxiety and helping others understand their anxiety to reduce the impact it has on everyday life.

CBT for an anxiety disorder is daunting, scary, but most of all, rewarding.

At the time of my first session, I was just coming off the back of two years’ worth of unexplained anxiety.

While I’d been offered medication to ‘take the edge off’, I have a very analytical brain so I was intrigued by the process. While still terrified, I was kind of happy to be in a position where I could finally begin to understand my anxiety.

That said, taking the first step into therapy was incredibly daunting, and the thought of it petrified me.

What would I uncover? How would the life that I’ve always lived change? Was this going to hurt?

Ironically, the first therapy session made my anxiety worse than it had ever been!

Looking back, I had no need to be scared. While it was a tough, unfamiliar process, it did what it was supposed to. It played a massive part in me understanding my anxiety. It gave me strategies which I could put in place and help me live with anxiety.

It’s an out-of-the-norm experience so here are seven things I experienced in my first CBT for anxiety session

1)Meet and greet.

I didn’t know my counsellor when I went to my first session. She was a lovely lady, but I was instantly suspicious. I was very guarded, which was a personality trait for me back then, but, over the course of my ten sessions, she changed me as a person. I’ll be forever grateful to her.

She told me a bit about herself. She asked about my childhood (so cliché!), and she INSTANTLY started to unravel the spaghetti that my brain had turned into over the years. And the best bit, she did it all without me even realising.

2) My anxiety was given a rating.

Then she asked me some questions about my anxiety and lifestyle; I think it was a questionnaire. Just stuff like symptoms, duration, sleep habits, diet, exercise, that kind of thing. With a score of 100 being the most severe, and 0 being no anxiety at all, my result was 85. Suck on that, people who told me ‘there’s nothing wrong with me!’

3) The symptoms of an anxiety disorder were explained to me.

The results of my questionnaire confirmed that my anxiety was severe and it had, as suspected, taken over my life. This also meant that Generalised Anxiety Disorder would possibly always be a part of me.

She explained that I would have good times and bad times, it might go and come back, nobody knew. She also explained the reasons I may have been dealt the anxiety hand in the first place.

Anxiety can stem from trauma, stress, childhood, illness, addiction. There are so many reasons an anxiety disorder starts and no one can be pigeon holed on why they have it. That’s for the counselor and the patient to decide, no one else.

The next thing she did was check my breathing. At the age of 34-years-old, I had no idea how important breathing was! At that point, I was taking 34 breaths a minute.

I’ll never forget that number because I said ‘one for every year I’ve been alive’. I had no idea that this was almost three times as many breaths as I should be taking.

The more I’ve researched breathing, the more I understand how bad my breathing pattern at the time was for me both mentally and physically. Breathing is one of the vital signs, and according to Hopkins Medicine, a healthy adult at rest should take between 12 and 16 breaths a minute.

Consistently breathing much more than that and you risk hyperventilating which will, of course, lead to symptoms of anxiety.

5) I was made to relax.

Next, she talked me through a relaxation and deep breathing exercise. She also gave a strict warning that changing your breathing pattern needs to be monitored by a professional. While breathing slower is better for your body, changes in breathing can also lead to more anxiety. Under the observation of a medical professional, for the first time in two years, I slowed my breathing down

6) My counsellor found out about me.

So, feeling ever so slightly more relaxed and not freaked out by this woman who was the first person to have spoken my language in years, she then started to delve into more about me. Who I was where I’d come from, where I was going. I don’t feel that I gave too much information away at this stage but it lay the foundation for my course of treatment.

7)) Strategies were put in place for me to deal with anxiety when it hit.

It was made quite clear to me that you can’t stop anxiety immediately. Your brain gets into the habit of responding to triggers, and you must train your brain to act a new way which can be a lengthy process.

The first step of that process is to learn techniques to stop anxiety when it hits, and she gave some strategies straight away for that.

So that was my first lesson, and I have to say I came out of there feeling drained, but positive. The next six months for me were six of the biggest and most beneficial of my life, which all began with that one session.

If you’re thinking about cognitive behavioural therapy, I can tell you from my experience that it was the single best thing I’ve ever done.

Did I get better immediately? Definitely not! Was it easy? Hell no!

But what CBT did for me was teach me tactics to deal with anxiety, so it no longer defined me, it just became something that I had. It helped me understand who I was. But more importantly, why I was. It helped strengthen me as a person. Th stereotypical, lying on the couch and sharing my woes just didn’t happen. I was exhausted, but pleasantly hopeful…

Comment below, what are your experiences of CBT? Can you remember your first session?

If you want to know more about how I live with an anxiety disorder to live a life that’s happy, healthy, and fulfilled, buy the Freedom Reigns eBook and join the Anxiety Buddy community today!

Jo Robinson

Founder - Anxiety Buddy

ABOUT THE AUTHOR.Jo was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in 2014 and knows what it’s like to live with the crippling disorder and suffer in silence, She also knows how much easier anxiety is to manage when you connect with others and have a strong support network around you. Jo is committed to normalising anxiety and helping others understand their anxiety to reduce the impact it has on everyday life.

]]>https://anxietybuddy.net/cbtblog/feed/0How do I know I’m having an anxiety attack?https://anxietybuddy.net/anxietyblog/
https://anxietybuddy.net/anxietyblog/#respondThu, 13 Apr 2017 08:00:39 +0000https://anxietybuddy.net/?p=1The post How do I know I’m having an anxiety attack? appeared first on Anxiety Buddy.
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Anxiety attack? Signs and symptoms to look out for.

I carried my anxiety around with me for at least two years before I received a medical diagnosis.

For one of those years, I had a vague idea of what was wrong with me. For the other, no clue. Zip. Zero. Zilch. And any other Z-words which mean nada!

I was living in pure ‘what the hell is wrong with me’ hell. Day after day. It was relentless.

Now I’m much further on in understanding anxiety and live with it as part of my regular life, I can identify when an anxiety attack hits. Granted, it doesn’t make it any less scary, but it does make me more aware.

I can tell you that for me ‘having anxiety’ is entirely different to an anxiety attack. These days, I can start to feel a bit funny and know that it’s just anxiety. Before, my lack of understanding of these symptoms ALWAYS led to a full-blown anxiety attack.

And, in my experience, the only thing worse than having an anxiety attack, is having an anxiety attack and having no idea what it is!

So, here it is.

Here’s how I know I’m having an anxiety attack and not some other scary disease that Google has diagnosed for me. I’m sharing in the hope that it’ll help other people identify anxiety symptoms in themselves so they can get help too.

1) My body goes hot.

From out of nowhere (which isn’t actually nowhere, there’s always a trigger even if I don’t know what it is), my body gets a surge of heat through it. This doesn’t always make me sweat, but I’m hot until the anxiety episode has passed.

2) I get dizzy.

Blurred vision and dizziness are so super scary, and, at the time, I think there must always be a serious reason for them. Yep, the serious reason is I’m having an anxiety attack, and I can’t see straight.

3) My pulse is strong.

One of the crucial parts of my recovery was learning how to identify that I was experiencing anxiety. As soon as I start to feel funny now, my pulse becomes prominent, and I can feel it throughout my whole body. It’s particularly strong in my neck. As soon as I start to feel unwell, I feel there, and my pulse immediately tells me what’s about to happen next.

It doesn’t take the fear away of course, but at least I know what’s coming.

Depersonalisation is another frightening sign I’m having an anxiety attack.

Just going about my business, and suddenly, it’s like my brain disconnects from my body. No matter how much I try, I can’t get the connection back. I have to say out loud where I am, and what I’m doing because otherwise, I’d have no idea, I’m just disconnected.

The connection comes back after a few minutes, but until then, there’s nothing but fear.

5) My heartbeat changes.

This can go one of two ways. Either my heart starts beating really fast, or it slows down, and I feel like it’s stopped altogether. Their heart beating isn’t something that most people have to think about regularly, it just does. When anxiety kicks in, every ounce of my being focusses on every single beat.

6) I can’t get any air into my lungs.

It doesn’t matter how many deep breaths I take, my lungs feel heavy, and I struggle to get any air into them. In fact, I have plenty of air so struggling to control my breathing means I then end up having too much air. This then causes more symptoms such as dizziness and headaches.

7) I have an urge to run.

Anxiety is caused by your brain kicking the body’s fight-or-flight responses into action, and I feel this so much! It’s not always possible to start running through the shopping centre, or out of a meeting, so the only choice left is to stay and fight against the urge.

8) I feel exhausted.

Before I learnt to understand anxiety, I’d always look back after an attack and realise that’s what had happened. You forget that when you’re going through it though. An anxiety attack for me could last for five minutes or a couple of hours. It would always end in exhaustion which only a good night’s sleep could cure.

These specific symptoms happen to me every time I have an anxiety attack but ongoing symptoms are also common. Nausea, pins and needles, and dizziness don’t always lead to a full-blown attack, but I know that’s what causes them.

When I used to Google, the results that the search query turned up would always be so scary. The fear of what might happen would always lead to an attack. Now it’s more under control, they don’t come anywhere near as often.

Everyone’s anxiety is so different so you can’t compare yourself to this. I hope, though, that it has helped someone who’s been having anxiety attacks but doesn’t know what they are.

Comment below with your symptoms to help other people identify their anxiety. How do you know when you’re having an anxiety attack?

Jo Robinson

Founder - Anxiety Buddy

ABOUT THE AUTHOR.Jo was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder in 2014 and knows what it’s like to live with the crippling disorder and suffer in silence, She also knows how much easier anxiety is to manage when you connect with others and have a strong support network around you. Jo is committed to normalising anxiety and helping others understand their anxiety to reduce the impact it has on everyday life.