Trouble logging in?If you can't remember your password or are having trouble logging in, you will have to reset your password. If you have trouble resetting your password (for example, if you lost access to the original email address), please do not start posting with a new account, as this is against the forum rules. If you create a temporary account, please contact us right away via Forum Support, and send us any information you can about your original account, such as the account name and any email address that may have been associated with it.

Blue text under your translation is a possible corrections/suggestions or possible wording context change corrections/suggestions you might want, Password-san. It's to help with the flow of the translation into the English language. The corrections/suggestions I'm putting forth are done from both the text in question as well as the way the vocals sound during these scenes. The way one says something in Japanese due to tone, emotion, etc also effect how the sentence may sound and how it was implied to be said.

All right! Thanks Hayate, I'll apply the corections to the respective posts later (My Internet connection is being mean to me today).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hayate22

闇の欠片シグナム：
知らぬ顔だな。
管理局の魔道師か。
Dark Piece Signum:
Indifferent, huh.
Are you a mage from the Administration Bureau?A face I don't recognize.
Are you an Administration Bureau mage?

I'd just like to say that I hate idiomatic expressions. I can never figure out whether something's supposed to be taken literally or, err... idiomatically. <<;

On the post-fight chatter, <Version A> is the what appears if you won the second round with little or no damage, <Version B> is the what apears if you won the match with a decent amount of damage, and <Version C> is what appears if you won the match when your health is at critical.

STAGE 3

闇の欠片シャマル：
あなたね。
シグナム達を落としたのは。
Dark Piece Shamal:
It must be you.
The one who took down Signum and the others.

なのは：
はい・・・・・・。
Nanoha:
Yes.......

闇の欠片シャマル：
闇の書の部品に過ぎない私たちでも、
仲間って想いはあるの。
Dark Piece Shamal:
We may have been just parts of the Book of Darkness, but
all of us felt that we were comrades.

なのは：
シャマルさん・・・・・・。
Nanoha:
Shamal-san.......

闇の欠片シャマル：
あなたはきっと強いんだろうけど、
騎士には退けない戦いもある！
Dark Piece Shamal:
Although I'm sure you are certainly very strong,
A knight will not back down from a fight!

闇の欠片シャマル：
あなたね。
シグナム達を落としたのは。
Dark Piece Shamal:
It's you.
The one who took down Signum and the others.It must be you.
The one who took down Signum and the others.

闇の欠片シャマル：
闇の書の部品に過ぎない私たちでも、
仲間って想いはあるの。
Dark Piece Shamal:
We are just parts of the Book of Darkness, but
we consider ourselves comrades.We may have been just parts of the Book of Darkness, but all of us felt that we were comrades.

闇の欠片シャマル：
あなたはきっと強いんだろうけど、
騎士には退けない戦いもある！
Dark Piece Shamal:
Although you might certainly be strong,
a knight also does not refuse a fight!Although I'm sure you are certainly very strong,
A knight will not back down from a fight!

ユーノ：
今、なのはのすぐ近くに、
巨大な魔力反応を発見した！
Yuuno:
A huge magical reaction was discovered
in the immediate vicinity of Nanoha just now!Just now, a huge magical reaction was dectected
in the immediate vicinity of where you are!
(Note: From Japanese to English, sometimes when a name is used in conjunction with a 'place' and the person's name is the same as the one that was used. Usually it's better to use just 'you' for that person.)

ユーノ：
闇の書の残滓が
凝縮されたような存在がいるんだ。
Yuuno:
There's a being made up of a
concentration of the Book of Darkness' remains.A being there made up of a concentration of the Book of Darkness's remenants seems to be there.
Alternative: A presence made up of a concentration of the Book of Darkness's remanent seems to be there.
(Not as suggested as the others, these are just possible other version of the same line.)

なのは：
じゃあ、その子を探して、
眠らせてあげれば・・・事件は解決？
Nanoha:
Then I'll look for that child, and
if I put them to sleep... will this incident be over?Then if I look for that child and put them to sleep...will this incident be solved?

Hmmm...well I'm not heavily suggesting anything this time. These are just correction/suggestions.

To Password-san: You and me both hate those kind of idiomatic expressions. Though I seem to catch on quickly which one is which. Anyway, there's one further thing I have to warn you about. I believe that Signum, and Zafira, Signum especially are using slightly more archaec Japanese closer to the ones used by samurai. That and I kind figured after listening to Signum's attacks that it has to be.

Signum's attacks like Shiden Issen, Hiryu Issen, Garyu Issen, etc. Her speech pattern all follow this archaec like Japanese. That might also affect how you are trying to translate since most recent translation helpers only do modern Japanese in general. So any further Signum quotes you are going to do might continue to give you problems.

Just a tip from your friendly Passing-by-Translator-Checker. Oh...and a second tip. Japanese is a language where translation will always have a problem because there are phrases or things said that can be taken in the literal sense or an implied sense. The latter I seem to notice recently that some have had trouble getting.

On the post-fight chatter, <Version A> is the what appears if you won the second round with little or no damage, <Version B> is the what apears if you won the match with a decent amount of damage, and <Version C> is what appears if you won the match when your health is at critical.

雷刃の襲撃者：
君を殺して
我が糧とすれば、
この不快感も消えるはず、と！
Lightning Blade Assailant:
If I were to kill
and feast on you,
then this sickening feeling should disappear!

なのは：
ごめんね。
殺されちゃうわけには
いかないんだ。
Nanoha:
Sorry.
I can't let you
kill me.

雷刃の襲撃者：
そうはいかない。僕は帰るんだ。
あの温かな闇の中に・・・・・・！
血と災いが渦巻く、永遠の夜に。
Lightning Blade Assailant:
That will not be so. I will go back.
To that warm darkness......!
To that eternal night of swirling blood and catastrophe.

(Comes in with a black trenchcoat and looks around quietly before quietly passing a post to Password-san.)

"Here's the usual...."

>>

<<

-----------------------------

なのは：
（フェイトちゃんの姿っていうのは、
なんだか複雑だけど・・・・・・）
Nanoha:
(The form of Fate-chan
is kind of complicated but......)(She has Fate-chan's appearance, though it looks a bit complicated...
(This is somewhat a tricky line to try and translate. Wording order is a bit complicated in this one as well as trying to read the situation behind it. This is probably a better way of looking at it)

雷刃の襲撃者：
君を殺して
我が糧とすれば、
この不快感も消えるはず、と！
Lightning Blade Assailant:
If I were to kill you
and feed on you,
this sickening feeling should disappear!If I were to succeed in killing you,
then this sickening feeling should disappear!
(Don't see anything that translated into as 'feeding on you' in the line. Though part of the line could be translated as "If I were to win and kill you at the same time," It could be argued on which might be better for direct translation but for smoother one is the one in blue as usual.)

雷刃の襲撃者：
そうはいかない。僕は帰るんだ。
あの温かな闇の中に・・・・・・！
血と災いが渦巻く、永遠の夜に。
Lightning Blade Assailant:
Not a chance. I'm going back.
To that warm darkness......!
To that eternal night where blood and catastrophes swirl.That will not be so. I will go back.
To that warm darkness....!
To that eternal night of swirling blood and catastrophe.

雷刃の襲撃者：
さあ！我が剣の前に・・・・・・
君は死ね！
僕は飛ぶッ！
Lightning Blade Assailant:
Now! Before my blade......
you must die!
I fly!Now! Before my blade....
you will die here!
I will fly forth!

なのは：
ああ・・・・・・なんか、ちょっと安心したかな。
ほんとのフェイトちゃんは
絶対に、そんな事言わないから。
Nanoha:
Aah...... In a way, it's kind of a relief.
You definitely can't say
that she's the real Fate-chan.Aah...In a way, this is a relief.
The real Fate-chan would never say that.

なのは：
安心して・・・・・・
別人と思って、戦えるッ！！
Nanoha:
I'm relieved......
If I see her as someone else, I could fight!!Calm down....
If I see her as someone else, I could fight!!

アルフ：
大丈夫だったかい！？
Arf:
Were you alright!?Are you alright!?

フェイト：
なのは、
ごめんね、私の偽物のせいで・・・・・・。
Fate:
Nanoha,
I'm sorry, because of my replica.......Nanoha,
I'm sorry, this is all because of my fake/imposter

なのは：
私の偽物だって、
どこかにいるかもなんだし。
Nanoha:
Even my replica
is out there somewhere too.Even my fake/imposter
is out there somewhere.

アルフ：
フェイトがそのまま、
なのはやクロノ達に、
もしも出会う事ができなかったら・・・・・・。
Arf:
Fate remains as is,
never having encountered
Nanoha, Chrono, and the others.......If she never had met Nanoha, Chrono and the others,
Fate could have ended up like that....

フェイト：
そうだね・・・・・・。
あんな風に、なってたかも。
Fate:
You're right.......
That's what I might have become.You're right.....
I feel that it might be true....

なのは：
フェイトちゃんにはアルフがいたし・・・・・・！
何よりフェイトちゃん、
自分で思ってるよりずっと強い子だよ。
Nanoha:
Arf would be there for Fate-chan......!
Most of all, Fate-chan
is a much stronger girl than she sees herself as.Fate-chan still has Arf....!
Most of all, Fate-chan is a stronger girl than she believes herself to be.

リインフォース：
闇の欠片の中枢だ。
これを叩けば、
欠片の発生は止まるはず。
Reinforce:
It's the nucleus of the Dark Pieces.
If you strike this,
the generation of Pieces should stopThis is the core of the Dark Pieces.
If you take this down, the generation of Pieces should stop.

リインフォース：
中枢はおそらく、
私の姿と心をとっている。
Reinforce:
The nucleus will probably
take on my appearance and thoughts.The core will probably take on my own appearance and mind.

-------------

Lighting Blade Assailant...hmmm...I usually just refer to them as being Dark Material usually but...-shrugs- it works with the 'dark versions' of the three mains. Well this is going as I thought it would be translated to. I didn't think I would be this good with vocal Japanese now...hmmm -strokes Asian beard for a bit-

-------------------

(Random line birthed from reading again quotes of Dark Material version of Fate.)

I.... slowly losing patience on getting Nanoha DLC without buying Lyrical Box the more I stare at this.... Mostly because if I get Signum, then I won't have enough to get another DLC 'til I/friend goes to Japan. ._.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hayate22

Lighting Blade Assailant...hmmm...I usually just refer to them as being Dark Material usually but...-shrugs- it works with the 'dark versions' of the three mains. Well this is going as I thought it would be translated to. I didn't think I would be this good with vocal Japanese now...hmmm -strokes Asian beard for a bit-

Y'know, I've never really thought of them as Dark Material, like with Dark Pieces. I just thought "Material-[letter here]", rofl. I'd rather call Material-S "Starlight Destroyer" 'cause I think it sounds cooler, but typing Material is so much easier. ;-;

But uh, just glimpsing through the corrections. orz for skimming. Does Material-L really talk that formally? 'cause hearing her gives me this sort of tomboy/slang vibe. Material-S is all polite, so I'd expect to hear her talk like that. Material-D is something I forget and don't want to remember. Scary, scary! ;_;

And then there's just really minor stuff like:Fate-chan still has Arf....!
Most of all, Fate-chan is a stronger girl than she believes herself to be.You still have Arf... !
But most of all, you're stronger than you think you are.- I understand that Nanoha is really saying "Fate-chan", but it's one of those repetitive things that gets a little argh. Or I've been editing too much doujin.

Aah...In a way, this is a relief.
The real Fate-chan would never say that.- lol, I don't know why "this is a relief" caught my eye. I'm probably over-thinking. Was thinking something like, uh...Ahh... In a way, I'm relieved. or even Ahh... I'm sort of relieved.
The real Fate-chan would never say that.

I.... slowly losing patience on getting Nanoha DLC without buying Lyrical Box the more I stare at this.... Mostly because if I get Signum, then I won't have enough to get another DLC 'til I/friend goes to Japan. ._.Y'know, I've never really thought of them as Dark Material, like with Dark Pieces. I just thought "Material-[letter here]", rofl. I'd rather call Material-S "Starlight Destroyer" 'cause I think it sounds cooler, but typing Material is so much easier. ;-;

But uh, just glimpsing through the corrections. orz for skimming. Does Material-L really talk that formally? 'cause hearing her gives me this sort of tomboy/slang vibe. Material-S is all polite, so I'd expect to hear her talk like that. Material-D is something I forget and don't want to remember. Scary, scary! ;_;

And then there's just really minor stuff like:Fate-chan still has Arf....!
Most of all, Fate-chan is a stronger girl than she believes herself to be.You still have Arf... !
But most of all, you're stronger than you think you are.- I understand that Nanoha is really saying "Fate-chan", but it's one of those repetitive things that gets a little argh. Or I've been editing too much doujin.

Aah...In a way, this is a relief.
The real Fate-chan would never say that.- lol, I don't know why "this is a relief" caught my eye. I'm probably over-thinking. Was thinking something like, uh...Ahh... In a way, I'm relieved. or even Ahh... I'm sort of relieved.
The real Fate-chan would never say that.

やっぱり英語は難しいなぅ。

I can somewhat understand your distress about the DLC in general.

Hmmm...the way I'm hearing the vocal, it sounds somewhat like that to me, though I'm not perfect either, so a second person helping with corrections would help out Password-san. Also, I'm doing this quickly so I'm bound to screw up at some points. Or rather someone will find a better way to say it.

For the first correction to my correction: Technically Nanoha uses Fate-chan alot, and since they're only nine years old at the time, I thought it be appropriate due to their age and what not. Young children in Japan sometimes refer to themselves or others in the third person until a certain point. ^^;;; That's how I was looking at it when I did it initially.

Anyway, the whole Dark Material part makes it a bit more difficult in some ways. Nanoha's Dark Material tends to be like that. Fate's Dark Material I can understand where they're going with that a bit. Hayate-chan's on the other hand...says some things in many many ways...

Well...it could be me but I don't hear alot of slang from Dark Material L alot so...plus the dialect is close to what Signum uses so that's why I referred to that type of speech pattern for most of Dark Material L's quotes. One clue was from the fact that she used certain attack names that are born from a more archaec Japanese form.

-shrugs- It's better to have two people help with corrections than just one. It'll help Password-san especially.

Hmmm...the way I'm hearing the vocal, it sounds somewhat like that to me, though I'm not perfect either, so a second person helping with corrections would help out Password-san. Also, I'm doing this quickly so I'm bound to screw up at some points. Or rather someone will find a better way to say it.

I or someone else could help out with corrections on your corrections, it's just I'm afraid of going too far from the original meaning to make it sound better in English since my Japanese levels are somewhat non-existent.

Nearly done my work and I should still have some time before Force raws appear, so maybe....

Quote:

For the first correction to my correction: Technically Nanoha uses Fate-chan alot, and since they're only nine years old at the time, I thought it be appropriate due to their age and what not. Young children in Japan sometimes refer to themselves or others in the third person until a certain point. ^^;;; That's how I was looking at it when I did it initially.

>> Young children in Japan sometimes refer to themselves or others in the third person until a certain point.
- Unless the radio shows/afureko I try to listen/watch to are weird, I don't think this applies to just young children. I remember hosts/co-hosts/guests calling each other by name instead of "you" or something. :/

Well, I forget how younger children talk [because the ones I meet at work that are more talkative are rather rude ^^;], but may I suggest that we allow the kiddies to talk to each other like that and use "you" where it's appropriate for the older characters then? If you want to keep the cuteness of third person that is.

Quote:

Anyway, the whole Dark Material part makes it a bit more difficult in some ways. Nanoha's Dark Material tends to be like that. Fate's Dark Material I can understand where they're going with that a bit. Hayate-chan's on the other hand...says some things in many many ways...

Material-D is just insane. I'm sure we'll have some fun with her dialogue.... Give me back my Dark Peace Hayate!

Quote:

Well...it could be me but I don't hear alot of slang from Dark Material L alot so...plus the dialect is close to what Signum uses so that's why I referred to that type of speech pattern for most of Dark Material L's quotes. One clue was from the fact that she used certain attack names that are born from a more archaec Japanese form.

Mm, I'm bad at reading and would have to play the game/re-watch videos later to remember how she talks. Just the way she talked reminded me of.... Vita? Like, a giant brute.

But if what she's saying is similar to Signum, then it can't be helped. .w.;

Quote:

-shrugs- It's better to have two people help with corrections than just one. It'll help Password-san especially.

Well, if I do help out, it'd just be minor things that people won't care about in the end, like smoother English.... which is partially why I was reluctant on helping because not many people seem to care. As long as they understand the gist of it~

I still feel bad for Reinforce in this game, she lives but during the game during several times, she can be very stupid with her whole self sacrificing part. Especially during the Guardian Knight story lines.

Signum finds out = bop to the head as punishment
Vita finds out = Full blown tsundere reaction of 'Baka' 'You don't have to do this yourself' etc.

Though my only wonder is how Reinforce Zwei will grow up if Reinforce is still around too. Which is probably an old subject in general. But then again, for some odd reason I keep thinking about those Nanoha 4-komas that were recently translated.

And sorry in advance when I do British-English grammar. I forget what some American rules are. ._.;

Spoiler for Opening Game Narration:

"A long, long time ago. An object that was solely sought after, even if it meant killing others, was one single book. The cursed Book of Darkness. It's because of that reason for the book, the book's protective spirit was always sad. Men, women, kind people, rich people, and even kings/royalty. Because the people involved with this book. Everyone died because of the Book of Darkness's curse.

To protect the Book of Darkness, the created knights have always had sad feelings. For the sake of the person who is about to die and for the Book of Darkness, they have been fighting every day. Forgetting how to smile. That dark, melancholic eternal-like time was brought to an end by the Book of Darkness's last master, a single young little girl.

The young girl treated the Book of Darkness's knights like her own family. Because of that, the Book of Darkness's knights' hearts became filled with warmth and kindenss. Surely that's why.

The Book of Darkness's curse was harming the young girl but, the four knights' wishes to protect their bond, strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, together broke the Book of Darkness's curse. The young girl and the book's spirit were both saved. And then, the young girl gave unto the book's once cursed spirit a name. The Blessed Wind, Reinforce.

It is now December, the young little girl, the mages and knights, everyone is fine and happy. But..."

A long, long time ago, there was once a book whose curse would later kill whoever's hands laid upon it — the cursed Book of Darkness. The book, whose real name has been lost, and the book's protective spirit were always sad because of that reason. Men, women, kind people, rich people, and even royalty — those who were involved with the book would die. Everyone died because of the Book of Darkness' curse.

To protect the Book of Darkness, the created knights have always had sad feelings. For the sake of the person who is about to die and for the Book of Darkness, they have been fighting every day — forgetting how to smile. That dark, melancholic, eternal-like time was brought to an end by the Book of Darkness' last master, a lone little girl.

The young girl treated the Book of Darkness' knights like her own family. Because of that, all of their hearts became filled with warmth and kindness.

Surely that's why....

The Book of Darkness' curse was harming the young girl. Because of the knights' bond, protected by their wish, and strong yet courageous hearts, the curse of the Book of Darkness was broken. The young girl and the book's spirit were both saved. And then... The young girl presented a name upon the book's spirit, once known as the Book of Darkness — the Blessed Wind, Reinforce.

It is now December. The young girl, the mages and knights... Everyone is content. However...

- One thing before I pass out, friend that helped listen and pick at what she thought was weird wasn't sure about the use of "yet" in "strong yet kind" because of 強くて優しい, but eh. /dies

A little harder for me because I'm unable to refer to the runes, so I hope I didn't change the meaning too much of what little I actually tweaked. And I can't listen properly to the narrations right now. orz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hayate22

Wait until Signum's comes out...I can probably bet some will be found unconscious with nosebleeds.

ME ME ME ME ME me me I am already dead. OTL

Trying to get your posts into a nice little notepad for me to look over later because my browser likes to diediedie. And why am I awake at 2am+ wtf.

__________________

少し 頭冷やそうか ?

Last edited by Bananoha; 2010-04-01 at 01:42.
Reason: RETIRED for the night maybe wtf.

And sorry in advance when I do British-English grammar. I forget what some American rules are. ._.;

Spoiler for Opening Game Narration:

"A long, long time ago. An object that was solely sought after, even if it meant killing others, was one single book. The cursed Book of Darkness. It's because of that reason for the book, the book's protective spirit was always sad. Men, women, kind people, rich people, and even kings/royalty. Because the people involved with this book. Everyone died because of the Book of Darkness's curse.

To protect the Book of Darkness, the created knights have always had sad feelings. For the sake of the person who is about to die and for the Book of Darkness, they have been fighting every day. Forgetting how to smile. That dark, melancholic eternal-like time was brought to an end by the Book of Darkness's last master, a single young little girl.

The young girl treated the Book of Darkness's knights like her own family. Because of that, the Book of Darkness's knights' hearts became filled with warmth and kindenss. Surely that's why.

The Book of Darkness's curse was harming the young girl but, the four knights' wishes to protect their bond, strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, together broke the Book of Darkness's curse. The young girl and the book's spirit were both saved. And then, the young girl gave unto the book's once cursed spirit a name. The Blessed Wind, Reinforce.

It is now December, the young little girl, the mages and knights, everyone is fine and happy. But..."

A long, long time ago, there was once a book whose curse would later kill whoever's hands laid upon it — the cursed Book of Darkness. The book, whose real name has been lost, and the book's protective spirit were always sad because of that reason. Men, women, kind people, rich people, and even royalty — those who were involved with the book would die. Everyone died because of the Book of Darkness' curse.

To protect the Book of Darkness, the created knights have always had sad feelings. For the sake of the person who is about to die and for the Book of Darkness, they have been fighting every day — forgetting how to smile. That dark, melancholic, eternal-like time was brought to an end by the Book of Darkness' last master, a lone little girl.

The young girl treated the Book of Darkness' knights like her own family. Because of that, all of their hearts became filled with warmth and kindness.

Surely that's why....

The Book of Darkness' curse was harming the young girl. The four knights — strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts — wish to protect their bond and broke the Book of Darkness' curse together. The young girl and the book's spirit were both saved. And then... The young girl presented a name upon the book's spirit, once known as the Book of Darkness — the Blessed Wind, Reinforce.

It is now December. The young girl, the mages and knights... Everyone is content. However...

A little harder for me because I'm unable to refer to the runes, so I hope I didn't change the meaning too much of what little I actually tweaked. And I can't listen properly to the narrations right now. orzME ME ME ME ME me me I am already dead. OTL

Trying to get your posts into a nice little notepad for me to look over later because my browser likes to diediedie. And why am I awake at 2am+ wtf.

Ah don't worry too much about the whole British-English grammer issues. I think some of the corrections to my translation to that full vocal prologue sequence was interesting. Also, I have a very bad habit of forgetting to recheck my own translations at times...I was questioning my own translation of that, I was doing the best I could with that freaking prologue...ugh...though then again, I seemed to have gotten the general idea.

Hmmm...I'm not sure I agree with some of the last few lines of corrections.

The four knights — strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts — wish to protect their bond and broke the Book of Darkness' curse together.

Okay, that sentence. This line refers to the cooperative actions of the four Guardian Knights and with the help of Nanoha and Fate. So the middle part where 'Strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, is after the 'wish to protect their bond. Japanese grammer structure is confusing for alot of people. The translation I did was more direct and sentenced to adherr their way of saying things and transposing that to English.

Here's my new correction. This is how the line is supposed to be read from Japanese to English.

"The four knight's wish to protect their bond, with the help of strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, together broke the Book of Darkness's curse."

In any case besides that one minor issue, the general tweaking is good. Mind, I rushed when I did this in general.

In any case...

-------------------------

Just go at it at your own pace with the trasnlations, mind you I'm only doing this since I feel like it might be good to help with something like this and getting everyone to understand the storylines of all the characters. So they know what is going on. I have mostly a general idea with some specifics due to my odd affinity with understanding vocal Japanese.

"The four knight's wish to protect their bond, with the help of strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, together broke the Book of Darkness's curse."

In any case besides that one minor issue, the general tweaking is good. Mind, I rushed when I did this in general.

My head isn't entirely here, but ahhh, I think I get it now. Sankyuu.

"The four knight's wish to protect their bond, with the help of strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, together broke the Book of Darkness's curse."
↓"The four knights' wish to protect their bond, together with the help of strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, broke the Book of Darkness's curse."

Damn commas. So now....

A long, long time ago, there was once a book whose curse would later kill whoever's hands laid upon it  the cursed Book of Darkness. The book, whose real name has been lost, and the book's protective spirit were always sad because of that reason. Men, women, kind people, rich people, and even royalty  those who were involved with the book would die. Everyone died because of the Book of Darkness' curse.

To protect the Book of Darkness, the created knights have always had sad feelings. For the sake of the person who is about to die and for the Book of Darkness, they have been fighting every day  forgetting how to smile. That dark, melancholic, eternal-like time was brought to an end by the Book of Darkness' last master, a lone little girl.

The young girl treated the Book of Darkness' knights like her own family. Because of that, all of their hearts became filled with warmth and kindness.

Surely that's why....

The Book of Darkness' curse was harming the young girl. The four knights' wish to protect their bond, together with the help of strong yet kind mages with courageous hearts, broke the Book of Darkness's curse. The young girl and the book's spirit were both saved. And then... The young girl presented a name upon the book's spirit once known as the Book of Darkness  the Blessed Wind, Reinforce.

It is now December. The young girl, the mages and knights... Everyone is content. However...

Just go at it at your own pace with the trasnlations, mind you I'm only doing this since I feel like it might be good to help with something like this and getting everyone to understand the storylines of all the characters. So they know what is going on. I have mostly a general idea with some specifics due to my odd affinity with understanding vocal Japanese.

On another note...

-hands LVD a bulk load's worth of tissues for the future Signum DLC-

I'm doing this for the LOVE OF YAGAMI-KE. If I go at my own pace, I'll never get it done. Slack, slack, slack. 8D

Uwah, no need for the tissues~ I'll be dead by then~

Edit: FOR THE GLORY OF YAGAMI-KE.

Spoiler for All text up to end of Stage 4, so somewhat text heavy~:

Phase of
Takamachi Nanoha

"Wings to Tomorrow"

----

[image]

Nanoha:
It's been almost one week since
the "Book of Darkness Incident" has ended.

[image]

Nanoha:
Hayate-chan,
the Guardian Knights,

Nanoha:
and even Reinforce-san
are all living in good spirits at the Yagami household.

[image]

Nanoha:
Sigh...
The year has already ended, hasn't it?

Fate:
Yeah...
It's good to spend the new year peacefully,
isn't it?

Nanoha:
Everyone's looking forward to the trip too!

Fate:
That's great,
a trip with three families.

Nanoha:
The Takamachi family, Lindy-san's group,
Suzuka-chan and Shinobu-san and everyone there and...

Fate:
Me and Alisa!

Nanoha:
It'll be a huge trip with 15 people total!
......Although I wish Hayate-chan and
the others could also go with us.

Fate:
Yeah...
The thing with the incident......
Reinforce is also still recuperating.

Nanoha:
I hope they'll go with
us during spring break.

[image]

Fate:
Yeah...... Definitely.

Fate:
Ah, well, Nanoha,
thanks for bringing me home.

Nanoha:
No problem, Fate-chan.
See you again tomorrow.

Fate:
Yeah.♪

[image]

Nanoha:
The Book of Darkness Incident ended safely......
It's something like a fading dream of mine.

Nanoha:
I feel like
I want to face my own magic more properly.

Nanoha:
These hands of mine,
my magic, what can I do with them......
I want to know.

Nanoha:
Raising Heart......
How far......
How long can I fly?

Raising Heart:
Together we can go anywhere.

Nanoha:
......Yeah...
Thank you.

[image]

Nanoha:
... Huh... ?

Chrono:
Nanoha...
This is Chrono!

Amy:
Nanoha-chan,
can you read me!?

Nanoha:
Ah... Yes,
Chrono-kun, Amy-san!

Chrono:
A barrier
has been raised in the city.

Amy:
The Arthra staff have
been deployed to investigate, but......
Nanoha-chan, be careful.

Nanoha:
Okay!
But since I'm nearby,
I'll go over to check it out, too!

Chrono:
 Sorry about this, please do.

Nanoha:
Roger!

Nanoha:
Raising Heart,
SEEET UUUP!

Raising Heart:
Standby ready.

[image]

Nanoha:
Let's go, Raising Heart!

Raising Heart.
All right, my Master.

ＳＴＡＧＥ 1

Nanoha:
Ah, Vita-chan!

Vita (?):
............

Nanoha:
Just who I was looking for!
What in the world is going on?

Nanoha:
This barrier, just who is......

Vita (?):
Who the hell are you?

Nanoha:
Who am I!?
I'm Nanoha... Takamachi Nanoha!!

Vita (?):
Did we meet somewhere?
Sorry, I can't remember everything.

Nanoha:
Vita-chan...... ?

Vita (?):
Shut up......
I have
something I need to do.

Nanoha:
Wai... Wait a minute,
what do you mean!?

Vita (?):
I said shut up!
I'll smash whoever stands in my way!!

----

<Landslide Victory>

Raising Heart:
Suppression is completed.

Nanoha:
Yeah...
But... !

<Victory>

Nanoha:
Sorry, Vita-chan.
Are you okay?

<Narrow Victory>

Nanoha:
Ow, ow......
That was mean, Vita-chan...

----

Vita (?):
Uu......
AHHH... !

Nanoha:
Ah......
Vita-chan!?

[ Vita (?) fades]

Nanoha:
...... She...
She disappeared... ?

Yuuno:
Nanoha!?
This is Yuuno!

Nanoha:
Yuuno-kun!?

Yuuno:
I was able to confirm what happened just now.
The barrier that was raised in the city is a
remnant of the darkness of the Book of Darkness.

Yuuno:
The small, lingering fragment
gathered memories and magic then began to regenerate.

Nanoha:
S... So,
the Vita-chan that I just fought......

Yuuno:
That's right.
She was a fragment born from the darkness of the Book of Darkness...... a Dark Piece, so to speak.
She's not the real one; she's an impostor.

Lindy:
Nanoha-san?
This is Lindy.

Nanoha:
Yes!

Lindy:
A little while ago, I was able to contact the real Vita...
She got mad when she heard an imposter appeared.

Lindy:
And then asked,
"Is Nanoha okay?"

Nanoha:
Yes...
I'm perfectly fine!

Lindy:
Right now, barriers are being raised in several places.

Amy:
All of the Guardian Knights are
making an emergency dispatch.
Fate-chan too, of course.

Reinforce:
Takamachi Nanoha......
Can you hear? It's me.

Nanoha:
Reinforce-san.

Reinforce:
Regarding the remnants of the
Book of Darkness causing trouble...
I'm really sorry about this.

リインフォース：
・・・・・・形になって現れているのは、
この街で戦った魔導師や騎士達の、
記憶と願いだ。
Reinforce:
...... They use the memories and wishes
of the mages and knights that fought in this city
to take shape.- Same words, just different order.

リインフォース：
燃え残った願い、
苦しんでいた記憶。
そんな負の感情が形を取っている。
Reinforce:
Wishes that remain unfulfilled
and memories of suffering;
such negative emotions take shape.- Excuse me, but what are "unburnt wishes"....

Nanoha:
If that's the case......
Then we have to help them, right?

Although I'm in no position to ask......
I'm still asking you.

Reinforce:
The Dark Pieces......
I wish for you to let them sleep.

Nanoha:
It's okay...
Please leave it to me!

ＳＴＡＧＥ 2

Nanoha:
Signum-san......

Dark Piece Signum:
A face I don't recognize.
Are you an Administration Bureau mage?

Nanoha:
Something like that.

Nanoha:
Excuse me...
May I ask
where you are going?

Dark Piece Signum:
Somehow, I can't properly remember
what I was just awoken for.

闇の欠片シグナム：
だが、成すべき事があるのはわかる。
我が友や同朋達も・・・泣いている。
Dark Piece Signum:
However, there is something I need to do.
My friends and companions... are crying.- I like how cry has multiple meanings in English. :/

Nanoha:
Vita-chan's and Shamal-san's group......
And Reinfor....
Book of Darkness-san, right?

Dark Piece Signum:
You know them?

Nanoha:
We met some days ago.
...... I know a lot.

Nanoha:
You know, Signum-san......
Signum-san doesn't need to fight
for the sake of someone any longer.

Dark Piece Signum:
I am a knight of the Book of Darkness.
I fight for the Book of Darkness
and my Master, whoever he may be.

Dark Piece Signum:
My friends and companions......
I have grieved for them long enough.

Nanoha:
Signum-san only needs to
fight for herself,
her family and Hayate-chan.

Dark Piece Signum:
I do not have a family
and I don't remember someone named "Hayate" either.

Dark Piece Signum:
Is that all?
I can't afford to stay here.

Nanoha:
I'm sorry......
I won't let you.

Dark Piece Signum:
I refuse.
If anything stands in my way,
I won't hesitate to cut it down.

Nanoha:
 !

Dark Piece Signum:
I do not feel
like cutting down a child.

Nanoha:
It's all right......!
You won't be able to do that!

----

<Landslide Victory>

Raising Heart:
Excellent!

Nanoha:
Had that been the real Signum-san,
I wouldn't have been able to win like this.- Since this a landslide victory, the "easily" is already implied with "like this". Doesn't really matter though, lol.

<Victory>

Signum-san...
I'm sorry......

<Narrow Victory>

Raising Heart:
Do you have an injury?

Nanoha:
I'm okay......
But Signum-san does.

----

Dark Piece Signum:
This is......
My body is disappearing...... ?

Nanoha:
........

DarK Piece Signum:
...... I...... still......

Nanoha:
I'm sorry......
Good night, Signum-san.

ＷＡＲＮＩＮＧ!
Unknown approaching at high speed.

Dark Piece Zafira:
You there, mage.
You are the one who defeated Vita and the others.

Nanoha:
Zafira-san......

Dark Piece Zafira:
A Bureau mage, huh.
Are you here to seal the Book of Darkness?

Nanoha:
It's a little different.......
I'm here to seal you guys.

Dark Piece Zafira:
I have no intention of challenging
the results of the previous battles, but

Dark Piece Zafira:
what are you fighting for?
Is it for justice? Is it for a cause? Is it for the law?- Back to the original "law" translation is what I suggest because it seems that Zafira knows what the TSAB are.

Nanoha:
I......

Dark Piece Zafira:
I will tell you this:
I have no intention of being sealed quietly.

闇の欠片ザフィーラ:
盾の守護獣の役割、
貴様を止めて、果たして見せようッ！
Dark Piece Zafira:
It is my duty as the Shielding Guardian Beast
to stop you right here!

----

<Landslide Victory>

Dark Piece Zafira:
Guuh... !
Why did this... ? Why...

<Victory>

Dark Piece Zafira:
Guaahhh... !

<Narrow Victory>

Dark Piece Zafira:
Just...... a little more... !

----

Dark Piece Zafira:
These claws, these fangs...
Just a little more... If I can reach her... !

[Dark Piece Zafira fades]

Nanoha:
Zafira-san......
I'm sorry......

ＳＴＡＧＥ 3

Dark Piece Shamal:
It must be you.
The one who took down Signum and the others.

Nanoha:
Yeah......

Dark Piece Shamal:
We may have been just parts of the Book of Darkness,
but all of us felt that we were comrades.

Nanoha:
Shamal-san......

Dark Piece Shamal:
Although I'm sure that you're certainly very strong,
a knight will not back down from a fight!

Dark Piece Shamal:
Let me take vengeance on you!

----

<Landslide Victory>

Dark Piece Shamal:
It can't be......
I wasn't even able... to do anything....

Nanoha:
I'm sorry......
Shamal-san.

<Victory>

Dark Piece Shamal:
Ugh...... No way......

Nanoha:
The serious Shamal-san......
was strong.

<Narrow Victory>

Raising Heart:
Is it safe?

Nanoha:
Somehow......
I'm fine.

------

Dark Piece Shamal:
Ahh...... Everyone......

Nanoha:
Shamal-san......

[Dark Piece Shamal fades]

Nanoha:
.........

Raising Heart:
 Master.

Nanoha:
It's all right,
Raising Heart....
I'll be okay.

[Incoming transmission]

Yuuno:
Just now, a huge magical reaction was detected
in the immediate vicinity of where you are!

Nanoha:
Really!?

Yuuno:
A presence made up of a
concentration of the Book of Darkness' remnants seems to be there.

Yuuno:
As long as that's there,
the Dark Pieces will keep appearing!

Nanoha:
Then if I look for that child
and put them to sleep... Will this incident be solved?

Yuuno:
Yes, it definitely should be.

Yuuno:
Fate and Arf are also
headed over there right now.
So...... !

Nanoha:
Understood!
Thank you, Yuuno-kun.

Nanoha:
Yuuno-kun's words
are always easy to understand
and make me feel better...... so I'm glad!

雷刃の襲撃者：
君を殺して
我が糧とすれば、
この不快感も消えるはず、と！
Lightning Blade Assailant:
If I were to kill
and feast on you,
then this sickening feeling should disappear!(Don't see anything that translated into as 'feeding on you' in the line. Though part of the line could be translated as "If I were to win and kill you at the same time," It could be argued on which might be better for direct translation but for smoother one is the one in blue as usual.)- 「我が糧とすれば」 chowtime for bokukko?

Nanoha:
Sorry.
I can't let you
kill me.

Lightning Blade Assailant:
That will not be so. I will go back.
To that warm darkness...... !
To that eternal night of swirling blood and catastrophe.

Lightning Blade Assailant:
Now! Before my blade......
you will die here!
I will fly forth!

Nanoha:
Ahh...... I'm sort of relieved.
The real Fate-chan
would never say that.

Nanoha:
Fate-chan still has Arf...... !
Most of all, Fate-chan
is a stronger girl than she believes she is.

なのは：
だから、あんな風になんて絶対ならない・・・・・・
過去に遡ったって、
未来に進んだって、絶対に！
Nanoha:
So something like that will definitely never happen......
Even if we go back to the past,
you'll definitely move toward future!

Arf:
Nanoha......

Fate:
 Thank you,
Nanoha.

[Incoming transmission]

Amy:
Nanoha-chan,
Fate-chan!?
Sorry, it's an emergency!

Amy:
A large-scale reaction appeared again!
This time, it's much bigger!

Reinforce:
It's the core of the Dark Pieces.
If you take this down,
the generation of Pieces should stop.

Nanoha:
Right!

Reinforce:
The core will probably
take on my own appearance and mind.

Reinforce:
Takamachi Nanoha, I'm sorry......
Please be careful.

Nanoha:
It's all right!
Here I go!

Fate:
Us too!

Arf:
Yeah!

Nanoha:
It's okay, leave it to me.

Fate:
But......

Nanoha:
There's something I need to confirm.
So, could you let me fly on my own?

Bolded parts with runes are things I've changed and just want to make sure the meaning is still there as I tried to smoothen out the English. Sienna are my comments, blue still being Hayate22's.

Everything else is just minor tweaks. As I started to go on, I noticed how some things were phrased to fit in with how they're speaking.... until I realized how this wasn't consistent. Could probably go back and poke those awkward sentences, but eh. Let's leave that for.... future testers! [lol]

雷刃の襲撃者：
君を殺して
我が糧とすれば、
この不快感も消えるはず、と！
Lightning Blade Assailant:
If I were to kill you
and feed on you,
this sickening feeling should disappear!If I were to succeed in killing you,
then this sickening feeling should disappear!
(Don't see anything that translated into as 'feeding on you' in the line. Though part of the line could be translated as "If I were to win and kill you at the same time," It could be argued on which might be better for direct translation but for smoother one is the one in blue as usual.)

Ah, I got the feeding on you part from 我が糧とすれば, since according to the dictionary, the third character I bolded meant food. I was a bit confused about that. <<;

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hayate22

フェイト：
なのは、
ごめんね、私の偽物のせいで・・・・・・。
Fate:
Nanoha,
I'm sorry, because of my replica.......Nanoha,
I'm sorry, this is all because of my fake/imposter

Hmm... I think I prefer "Replica". It implies something to be a near-perfect copies of the original, which the Dark Pieces are, and it has a neutral tone that doesn't carry the negative connotations of "fake/imposter". The fanchise, after all, always emphasizes that simply being a clone of someone isn't a bad thing.

Kansai dialect was a bit of a pain. I'm starting to dread Hayate's story path <<;

Usual note on how help is always appreciated!

On the post-fight chatter, <Version A> is the what appears if you won the second round with little or no damage, <Version B> is the what apears if you won the match with a decent amount of damage, and <Version C> is what appears if you won the match when your health is at critical.