A ladylike abduction of the mind. You're Welcome.

I Was Just Wondering…

I’m watching you from my spot between Hipster Chick #34 and fluffy lady juggling her Weight Watchers mag and cream cheese with a dash of bagel.

You are cutting your nails. Not one hangnail you’ve been meaning to kill for days and by some chance your pet monkey thought it cute to hide your clippers in your purse, by gosh how did those get in there bc it’s so convenient, silly monkey.

You are cutting your nails, clippings flying about like leaves at the blades of Edward Scirssorhands. The people opposite you pretend to not notice, but I see their throats fighting gags between sips of their Starbucks Pike.

I was just wondering, what would you do should a stranger come into your space (your home, your car, your office) and go rogue gardener on their cuticle’s? Blowing, swiping, picking and throwing their dead ass nail bits all about your personal space? This is normal to you? You would smile warmly in understanding as a nail came souring through the air catching in your hardened gel hair curlies?

you mean like the time the lady changed her baby’s diaper in the subway car i was in and basically forced everyone to evacuate it because the baby’s poop smelled like the baby actually ate another baby’s poop and then pooped it out?