I made so many beds in hell they thought I was the chambermaid down there. Psalm 139:8

Monday, February 22, 2010

A Prayer, and an Invitation

So, I go to confession on Ash Wednesday, right? And I spill it all, especially about the eating disorder thing. And the soul work Fr. Normal gives me to do is to pray for you! Well, you don't have to ask me twice to pray for my lovies, so here my dear ones, is a prayer for all of you who are dealing with addictions of any kind.

Beloved,

We we really hunger for what is often not food. Our longing is for comfort, for a respite for our aches, and we are all in want of love. But food is not love. Alcohol is not comfort. Overwork does not take our aches away. We still feel afraid. Some of us cannot sleep. Beloved, often what we are trying to blunt is the very thing that makes us human. Our addictions, which may very well have once served as the defenses that protected us from great harm, are now the harm. Free us, O kind One.

The Velveteen Rabbit was wise enough to tell us that love makes us real, no matter how shabby and worn we appear. Beloved, give us permission, deep down in our souls, to be less than perfect. Most of us are addicted to something. Help us to be honest. Honesty is real, but in all our honesty and our reality, help us to see ourselves and one another with the soft eyes of grace.

Have mercy on us, good and patient God. Please teach us to be merciful to ourselves and one another. Give us the serenity to accept what we absolutely cannot change. Our bodies, as they are this very moment, are something we cannot change--not in this instant. Oh, we may feed them less, or exercise them more. We can color parts of them, and groom others, but what we have in this wee bit of time is what we have. Some of us are sick. Some of us are heavy. Some of us have curly hair we wish we was straight, and straight hair we wish was curly. And while we can take measures to change this--our hair will still sprout out of our heads straight, or curly. And some of us will not have hair grow at all! Dear God, I bring you our diseases, and lay them at your feet. Some of us will not be cured in this life, but that doesn't mean we can't be well. Help us to accept what we cannot change. But what we can, give us the courage the change. And as you know, Beloved, we don't always know the difference. Will you give us the wisdom to discern between the two? And Lord, will you heal us? I will leave it up to you how you will do that, because you are God, and I am just your servant.

Give us your grace, in the precious name of your Son, Jesus. Amen.

Now, lovies, I want to offer you an invitation--take me by the hand, and let's keep going to our Beloved God together. I don't just mean in prayer. All recovery is a journey into the arms of God. No matter what your longing, and especially if you try to fill those deep soul hungers with food, walk with me. I don't care what your drug of choice is, I'll be praying, and listening, and trying to help.

10 comments:

nice job..yes...addictions of any kind are the replacement to comfort that ache...that spot...that only can be filled by God. numbed out and drugged out...or sugar-ed out bliss only masks the ache...all of life is that journey walk with Christ, daily asking Him for strength and healing. together, we will make it. he did put us all here together for a reason. we were never meant to go it alone.thanks.prayin and walkin...

Food is the issue. Not a weight problem, but self control. Lyme folks should not eat sugar, wheat or gluten. I was doing well, but really fell off the wagon over the holidays and cannot seem to get back on. I can almost feel myself shutting God out of my life at that moment when I have the overwhelming urge to eat just one pastry every day. And at that moment, I realize I am refusing to even try to be Spirit-led.

That was one of the most beautiful and moving and poignant prayers I have read and prayed in a very long time. Thank you yet again for putting into words so much of what I feel and long to pray. You know me so well, girl, so very well.

That one is definitely gonna inspire some serious journaling and praying way over here in Charlotte. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Dare I say "ouch" yet again? You know, the kind of ouch that comes when the massage therapist hits the tight spot and presses - it hurts like hell but you know you've gotta move through the pain in order to get release from the pain...

right now i'm struggling with my sexuality, i accepted it as something that is not easy to deal with. i'm addicted to porn and i think lustful thoughts at times. i don't know how to save myself.

your prayer made me feel the love of a Christian to his brethren. thanks so much for sharing that wonderful prayer. i'm planning to bounce, to combat this struggle because i've been away from God for months and i can't deny that i miss Him.

continue to inspire people like me who suffer some secret shame and addictions...