Hate.

Do you ever feel like you watch yourself? Like in a movie the camera zooms out to watch the main character highlighted in a group of anonymous happy faces and his face is sad or neutral, thats how I feel with the world spinning around me and people moving at 4 x speed like the vision of a hummingbird.

I know people, I socialise to an extent but it does nothing, no one understands me, no one really listens to me but then again what do I have to say? Pseudo-Academic/intellectual crap that no one cares about or listens to.

I don't love anyone, I respect but I don't love my family or friends or teachers or any women I've met thus far (all 4 of them......). I'm scared that I don't love anything or truly feel what it is to be happy.

i think its almost impossible to talk to people sometimes isnt it? They just dont want to hear the truth but im sure your friends understand you even if they arent paying attention to what you say. <br />You sound like a great person, I dont think you should get out more to meet people! Thats how love happens. Join a gym or a new job meet lots of people bump into a nice person start a conversation, thats how life works sometimes. Its easy to want love and understanding but if you dont put yourself out there then you wont get it.