In our last meeting where we discussed the future of Kindred Brothers and whether or not we would continue to meet, the topic of Life Purpose came up. If you have read anything by David Deida (The Way of the Superior Man for example) you may be familiar with the idea (as David suggests) that Life Purpose is more important than anything else for a man.

Here’s a quote from that book:

Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, dis-serves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer her full, undivided presence.

Our modern, western lives, place very little emphasis or focus put on helping boys or men develop a clear sense what it means to be a man. Beyond a great coach or a mentor there are very few rituals or traditions that build a sense of clarity and purpose from within us.

All of us, whether conscious of it or not, have struggled or a are struggling with the identification and/or realization of our Life Purpose. For some of us discovering and realizing our life purpose might take a lifetime. For others it may come naturally or more easily. Finding our life purpose and our deepest life intentions can help us to move with greater focus and clarity every day of our lives.

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the question, what is your life purpose?

How did you discover your life purpose?

What helps you clarify and connect to your life purpose?

How does connecting to your life purpose manifest in your life?

What keeps you from knowing/realizing your life purpose?

If you knew your life purpose and came from that place every day, what would your life be like?

What are you doing now in your life that doesn’t support you in realizing your life purpose?

Fear is a pervasive part of the human condition, but its expression can take on a myriad of different forms. We can experience acute fear, in the moment, in response to a physical situation we are confronted with; accidents/disasters, extreme places (vast expanses, steep cliffs, confined tunnels). This is perhaps the most useful and natural encounter with fear. Our bodies shift into a flight-or-fight response and operate in a subconscious way to get us through it.

But as modern humans we are confronted with many other kinds of fear which is less rational, less useful and more difficult to deal with. As our consciousness evolved so did our fears. As we moved from total-now consciousness into consciousness outside of the present, we could begin to fear things not immediately in front of us. We developed the ability to feel attachment to something and fear changes in the future. We are faced with a deeply uncertain world today, full of unrest, looming crisis and seemingly unrelenting natural and man-made catastrophes.

Media sources push some kinds of fear on the evening news, while not addressing things we perhaps should be fearful of. Emotional fear, outside of the moment can be like a cancer. It can slowly eat away at our ability of our mind to rest in peace and happiness. We may live in a fantasy world projecting our fears outside so that our perceived world becomes a scary fear filled landscape.

What kinds of fears do you struggle with?

What fears do you have that you think are really legitimate?

What fears are unexamined, old patterns that maybe once served but that should really be thrown out to free up inner space for peace, enthusiasm and joy?

The topic will be what are the struggles or challenges you find yourself facing, and what has been your most recent triumph, and if possible how does this tie into your larger biography? The format will be to simply share a little about yourself, the theme may help provide some focus. If you want to share something else that’s perfectly fine as well.

Seeds for thought on the theme. These are not prescriptive, they can be entry points or ways of thinking about the topic, but there are many other ways to approach it, which may work better for you.

Is there a person or situation that is causing you stress or anxiety? What about this situation isn’t working for you?

Is your challenge totally new, or is it recurrent? What brings it on? What makes it better? What do you want to do about it?

What have you recently accomplished or overcome? What was the struggle? What makes the victory sweet?

What change needed to happen for you? How is this applicable for the rest of your life?

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who we are

This web site shows the content of a men's group in the Berkeley, Oakland, Alameda area across the Bay from San Francisco. It also provides information for men interested in creating their own men's group. While this site is no longer actively used by a particular men's group, it is being left publicly available as a means of facilitating the meeting of men.