Because the not-so-secret truth about domestic abuse is that abusive men do benefit in various ways from being abusive, just as bullies benefit from stealing other kids’ lunch money.

Happily, in this instance at least, Return of Kings refrains from explicitly endorsing domestic abuse.

It turns out that this post. by regular RoK contributor David Garrett, is mostly about running into people on sidewalks.

On purpose. To show what a total alpha badass you are. Or at least what a total alpha badass you are pretending to be.

As Garrett sees it, women go weak in the knees around “bad boys” because they think these “bad boys would be willing to use or have used physical force in expressing their badness.”

Trouble is, dudes who go around punching people tend to get punched back. So the real trick, Garret writes, is

to be seen as potentially violent and explosive, without the regular drawbacks of spending time in prison, getting badly beaten up by five other guys, or some other event you don’t particularly want to experience.

The key word is “potentially.” And in case you missed his point, Garrett repeats it, with the word “potentially” in bold:

There’s a distinction here, as you can see, between being violent and acting potentially violent around women and others.

So how do you convince the Hot Babes you’re potentially a big tough guy … without ever having to get into an actual fight to prove it?

Well, here’s where the whole “running into people on sidewalks” thing comes in.

If you want to be seen as a big tough guy who never apologizes for taking up space in the world, what better way to show this (in a reasonably safe way) than by running into people on sidewalks? Or at least by running into people you’re pretty sure won’t punch you for it.

When you walk in large cities, you might notice the propensity of people, especially young women, not to move around you when you’re walking towards one another. Sometimes they will deliberately try and cut you off, expecting you’ll concede space. Don’t. Aside from those with infirmities, the elderly or parents with young children, plough through.

Last month, one middle-aged woman … refused to make way … Oh well, my bag ran into her. And it hurt. Too bad for her.

TOTAL ALPHA MOVE.

Oh, and for maximum benefit, do this in front of the Hot Babes you’re trying to impress. I mean, duh.

When you’re with your girl, a female target or just female friends, try things like this out. There’s a time and place for etiquette and politeness but at least 90% of the time, barring those with mobility issues, it isn’t on the streets you walk.

You can also try getting mad at people who blow cigarette smoke in your general direction.

I also (calmly) confront those who blow tobacco smoke in my face accidentally, half- or full-daring them to try again (depending on whether I’m being sarcastic or plain condescending).

After explicitly telling his readers to do all this in front of “your girl, a female target or just female friends” in order to convince them in a low-risk way how potentially violent they are, Garrett assures us that he totally acts this way even when there are no HB8’s in sight.

If an alpha male falls in the forest, and there’s no HB8 to hear him, does he make a sound? Garrett says YES and pumps his fists.

Rather than being a staged action, it’s who I am, someone utterly repulsed by cigarette fumes. I would do the same thing alone or with a girl. … The context is more like becoming who you really are, rather than what society has demanded you be: the timid, ball-less gentleman.

Oh, but don’t do any of this with, you know, black dudes, or anyone else who might actually punch you.

I am going to suggest to you that making retaliatory or wisecracking comments to abrasive males in the projects of Detroit or the Bronx, or the non-tourist suburbs of Moscow, is maybe not worth the effort (or the dental bill).

I mean, BECOME WHO YOU ARE but only with people smaller than you, and who probably don’t have friends in the vicinity who might punch you. Seriously, you may want to stick to middle-aged women you can “accidentally” hit with your bag.

Because nothing turns the hot babes on more than a dude who “accidentally” hits middle-aged women with his bag.

Comments

I’ve often wondered why men spit on the sidewalk (one of my biggest pedestrian pet peeves – it’s gross, unhygienic, and disrespectful, and why oh why do they wait until they’re right next to you to do it?). Maybe it’s another way of claiming attention and physical space? It’s as if these guys believe they have to be the biggest, loudest, crudest person around, otherwise they’ll lose territory.

I don’t know about grown-ass men, but when we were teens and my little brother started spitting his response to my loud objections was “the footballers do it!” So for young lads I guess it’s emulation?

Its a lousy excuse though. Footballers do it because it’s quite normal for phlegm to build up in the throat when exercising outside with little time to drink water. Most men and boys are not footballers and certainly don’t get the same problem when just walking down the street (anyone who tells you they do is a filthy liar).

Fortunately my brother no longer spits and didn’t do it for long in the first place (I think he’s stopped – but then he lives in Spain and I’m not sure what the cultural attitude towards spitting and masculinity is).

I wonder sometimes if that “girls just want assholes” stereotype is related to the fact that attractive people can turn into entitled assholes over the course of a lifetime of being fawned over. That is, someone who is naturally hot might develop an ego about it, and feel no need to behave nicely when he’s getting plenty of ego-stroking already. And he also gets laid easily, because hey, women are people too, and we can be shallow too.

In other words, even if the correlation is true, it ain’t necessarily causation.

attractive people can turn into entitled assholes over the course of a lifetime of being fawned over.

As an attractive person, I can assure you that it doesn’t take a lifetime. Attractive people don’t actually have to turn into entitled assholes; they start out that way, and so does almost everyone else. Most children are extremely childish people. As we age, our peers and supervisors cut us less and less slack, and we’re supposed to spend our teenage years using that feedback to learn how to be adults. When you’re exceptionally attractive, people put up with a lot of bullshit to be close to you, which means that you may never even be confronted about your worst habits. It makes it very hard to learn how to be decent when people tolerate indecent behavior.

Conclusion: it’s not so much that attractiveness corrupts as that it limits opportunities for growth.

I wonder sometimes if that “girls just want assholes” stereotype is related to the fact that attractive people can turn into entitled assholes over the course of a lifetime of being fawned over. That is, someone who is naturally hot might develop an ego about it, and feel no need to behave nicely when he’s getting plenty of ego-stroking already. And he also gets laid easily, because hey, women are people too, and we can be shallow too.

In other words, even if the correlation is true, it ain’t necessarily causation.

I guess the saying should read “girls just want ATTRACTIVE assholes”.* But even if a guy’s good-looking as all get-out, if he’s still an asshole, then there are limits to the number of takers. And that number will no doubt diminish as he gets older, because age is no respecter of assholes. Or their looks.

It’s a tiny detail, but the bit where he takes care to mention that this doesn’t apply to people with “mobility issues” really really bothers me. Like, i look pretty robust and healthy, I’m young and overweight and stocky, w a sort of short irish frame (& flushed irish skin), and I don’t use any mobility aids right now. If you ran into me in the street with your bag though, my frequent double-vision, chronic pain suffering, constant dizziness and vertigo afflicted DEFINITELY MOBILITY ISSUES HAVING self would topple right over onto the ground. You CANNOT tell by looking, which makes this really dangerous behavior!! Also I don’t think knocking disabled people onto the floor is going to have thw desired effect on your “female target(s)” (EW)

We Hunted the Mammoth tracks and mocks the white male rage underlying the rise of Trump and Trumpism. This blog is NOT a safe space; given the subject matter -- misogyny and hate -- there's really no way it could be.