Jawa

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Jawa.

"Me like Jawas. They make yummy drink."

―A five-year-old, about Jawas

Jawas were small, sentient creatures, native to Tatooine, who went around selling old junk, broken-down cars, and used condoms. Jawa juice was made from the crushed, ground, and pulverized remains of these beings. They had no hearts or souls, but made funny little sounds when you shot them, hit them, burned them, or destroyed their planet (which unfortunately never happened...for now...). They were also known for being very hard workers; their Labour Union Code was well known throughout the galaxy, and was abused by many Hutt crime lords, Sith Lords, and other evil people. They thrive on hatred and prejudice. They are the most evil beings in their world. Fortunately, they're harmless- except when they turn into werewolves. Then everyone is screwed. They also make LOL Cats.