These are dark times for fans of "24," "Lost," "House," "West Wing," "Grey's Anatomy" and other TV series. The only grand finale left is for "Everwood," and that excellent show will disappear for good after next week.

Now we're stuck with reruns, reality shows, rejected pilots and "Pepper Dennis." It's a good time to catch up on your reading.

But I'm here to tell you that you still should be reserving one night for must-see TV, or at least to set up the VCR or DVR to record. Last Saturday night marked the beginning of summer-long Napoleonic adventure, courtesy of British infantry officer Richard Sharpe.

I don't make a habit of repeating forwarded e-mails, except to debunk urban legends. But I'll make an exception here, because the unidentified author makes a point that I suspect will resonate with at least some of you.

"It may be time once more to trot out the 'Golden Oldies' of urban legends.

"My good friend, and golf partner, continues to rummage thru trash barrels at the course in search of pop top soda/beer can tabs. He gives them to his minister who supposedly sends them to Childrens' Hospital in Philly. This process somehow leads to the purchase of dialysis machines.

"According to Snopes.com this legend has been around for over 20 years. But....the Lehigh Valley continues to embrace it."

Pretty easy choice, really, although I think Katharine will end up selling more records in the long run. Taylor has been more consistent, more confident, more entertaining right to the end. He deserves to win tonight, and I'll be shocked if he doesn't.

But here's my gripe. Every year in "American Idol," just when they're hitting their climactic performances, the moment when the producers should be giving them every chance to shine, when the judges say it's all down to this last song ... the Idols are forced to perform a bland, faux-uplifting ballad that's hard to sing and harder to listen to. The titles and the melodies are interchangeable. "A Moment Like This." "Flying Without Wings." "I Believe." "Inside Your Heaven." "My Destiny." "Do I Make You Proud?" If they stick to form, they'll make the winner sing his/her own song again tonight, with a gospel chorus wailing in the background.

Mind you, these songs all become big hits, in spite of themselves. Last year, Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood had to sing the same crappy song in the finals, and when they recorded it later, BOTH of their singles debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard charts. Idol fans tend not to be all that discerning, especially in the flush of the grand finale.

But how much better would it have been Tuesday night if Taylor could have closed with "In the Ghetto?" If Katharine could have saved "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" for her final performance?

Those would make far better singles than "Flying Inside Your Destiny in a Moment Like This."

But hey, what do I know? I guarantee you 50 million people won't be reading this blog.

I hope it takes a while, but I suspect there will come a time when the final corporate buyout is announced, completing the transition of all products and services into one gigantic comglomerate.

Then they'll lay the last of us off, announce a $5 billion golden parachute for their president, and the world as we know it will collapse.

Sorry if that sounds a bit pessimistic, but I was shaken by the news that St. Louis-based Anheuser-Busch has purchased Rolling Rock. The giant of American beermaking will move production from Pennsylvania to its plant in Newark, N.J.

Clearly, they'll need a new approach to advertising, since Rock traditionally has played up the clear mountain streams in Latrobe, Pa. Maybe Annheuser-Busch can stress the way chemical waste enhances the flavor of beer.

Quality issues aside, unless another brewer can be convinced to buy the Latrobe plant, 250 Pennsylvanians will be thrown out of work. Published reports suggested that a local investment group wanted to buy the label, but never got a chance to bid.

When we buy beer at home, we generally get Rolling Rock, mostly because my wife likes it. But those days are over.

People in New Jersey and St. Louis are welcome to guzzle Rolling Rock of Newark if they like. I'm drinking Yuengling.

Andy turned 18 several weeks before the 2000 Bush-Gore presidential election, earning the privilege of sitting for hours in a church pew, waiting for his chance to vote. It was aggravating that the polling places were so unprepared, but it was a great lesson for him about being committed to exercising your right as a citizen.

I know some of you out there think I’m a terrible left-winger. But for what it’s worth, my son turned out to be a much more committed Democrat than I am. I'm actually pretty unpredictable in the booth, but if he doesn’t vote straight party, he’s close.

Don’t blame this on me. I think he gets most of his ideas from Jon Stewart and “The Daily Show,” along with “South Park,” George Carlin and various Comedy Central standups. This has resulted in a sardonic view of all politicians, but particularly of George W. Bush and his minions, whom he despises.

So when I asked him to change parties this spring, he understandably was hesitant.

One of the interesting things about "American Idol" this year was the way the three judges made it so clear whom they wanted to win down the stretch.

Paula wept openly pretty much every time Elliott sang or was depicted in a video segment, overcome by her emotions or her medication. I never could figure out what was moving her so deeply. The guy is a good singer with zero charisma. I'm thinking maybe he looks like her dead schnauzer, and she associates him with the pain of pet euthanasia.

Randy -- who managed to go an entire season without contributing any useful advice to a contestant, a remarkable achievement -- is a Taylor man. Much of what he says is incomprehensible, so I'm basing this on the ratio of Dawg Pound exclamations to complaints about being "pitchy." I particularly enjoyed when he criticized Katharine for her song choice this week -- on a song that record producer Clive Davis picked for her! Was she supposed to turn him down?

Simon clearly prefers Katharine, the most marketable of the remaining contestants. I suspect this is because he's the one who actually has to make records with the contest's winner, and he blanched at the vision of Elliott or Taylor CDs gathering dust in the 50 cent bin. At least Katharine looks good.

I'll be shocked if Taylor doesn't win. He's most likely to pick up Elliott's supporters next week, and in a close competition, that should make the difference.

I've had a couple of interesting discussions with Mark Marek, host of the "Air Your Opinion" program at Lansford radio station WMGH/WLSH.

Marek tried unsuccessfully to get payjacking Rep. Keith McCall to participate in an on-air debate at some point before Tuesday's primary election, but he never succeeded. McCall has been hiding out all spring, letting his giant pork-barrel cardboard checks and push-polling phone solicitors speak for him.

This has frustrated his primary election opponent, John Wieczorek, but I guess I can see McCall's position. If I had McCall's record, I wouldn't want to risk a debate either.

Here's what Keith's representative, Michael J. McCall, wrote in a letter to Marek. I'll intersperse it with my commentary:

I've been writing about the best sports movies in my column, but in the process of getting to that topic, I briefly considered writing about the best movies involving dogs. I concluded there aren't enough of them.

Still, it got me thinking about the best movies involving animals in key roles. It's an interesting exercise.

I decided to insist on only including real animals, as opposed to, say, dinosaurs or preposterously big apes. That ruled out "King Kong" and "Jurassic Park," not to mention any number of monster movies. I love "Them," for example, but to my knowledge, there are no real giant people-killing ants.

I also ruled out movies in which an animal plays a minor role. The dog in "As Good As It Gets" has a decent-sized part, but he certainly doesn't drive the story to any large extent. Same way with Toto, Asta, etc.

I confess that I haven't seen some of the remaining movies for a while, so maybe my recollections are more fond than the films deserve. But here goes:

Before I get to pitcher Cole Hamels, I have to comment on the "American Idol" voters this week. These people truly are idiots.

What are they looking at? I complained about losing Paris, but at least she was much younger and perhaps less polished than her older, albeit less talented, competitors. But Chris had no such drawbacks. Not only does he sing very well, but he has a real presence on the stage and the ability to connect with a song. None of the remaining idol candidates come close to that package. The show's credibility is pretty well shot for the season.

The good news is that while Taylor is twitching and lurching his way to "American Idol" victory, I'll be watching the Phillies and Cole Hamels instead. The Phillies lefthanded phenom, only 22 years old, makes his debut Friday night against the Reds. If he can even approach his performance in the minor leagues, Phillies' fans will be in a frenzy.

I'm particularly excited because I had the foresight to choose him as a free-agent for my fantasy league team, while he still was pitching in the minors. Now I get to plug him into my lineup in place of the washed-up Randy Johnson, who has gone from Cy Young to Sigh in Disgust. Barring injury, I predict 15 wins for Hamels in what's left of the season, propelling me to fantasy victory.

Finally, a note for you "Lost" fans. If you're channel-flippers like me, you may have missed the commercial-time invitations to call the Hanso Foundation, architect of many of the events on that weird island. The number is 1-877 HANSORG.

Call it and navigate your way through the menu, hanging patiently through voice mail messages, etc. It's really entertaining. You might also want to try the Web site sublymonal.com -- very weird -- or the main Hanso site, http://www.thehansofoundation.org/.

The lengths to which the show's producers have gone to prop up the "Lost" mythology are fantastic.

The best singers combine a strong voice and the ability to pour heart and soul into a performance. Elvis Presley, whose songs were performed on Tuesday night's "American Idol," wasn't Elvis Presley because he had a better voice than anyone else. Swiveling hips and pouty good looks aside, he was a star in large part because he threw himself into a song and made the lyrics his own.

None of the remaining idols even approach that kind of star power, and although it's unfair to compare them to the King, I couldn't help doing a little of that as I watched them sing his songs.

The closest is Chris, who acquitted himself well again Tuesday night. He remains my choice for the title. Elliott is technically proficient, but totally lacking in charisma. Taylor has a certain spastic charisma, but he is more a novelty act than a pop star.

Katharine has the best potential to challenge Chris, but she was the weakest performer this week, and may well get the boot. Does she strike anyone else as a pretty android? There's no heart in there.

I miss Paris, last week's victim. In the long run, I think she'll be bigger than any of them.

This is a bonus posting, since I'll be off for the next couple of days.

In one of my recent columns about serial payjacker Keith McCall, the Democratic state representative from Carbon County, I quoted from accounts of Darwin Award winners. Unfortunately, I neglected to link to the Web site that gave me this information.

So here it is. There's hours of great reading, perfect for loafing in the office. You'll even find a link back to my column, and a famous urban legend with local roots.

One last thing. You "Lost" fans -- finally getting a new episode tonight after weeks of annoying re-runs and compilations -- may enjoy this Web site. More clues for you.

As Taylor was flopping on the stage like a hooked fish in a bass boat, the spastic culmination of his performance of "Play That Funky Music, White Boy," it occurred to me that we've probably seen enough.

The guy is undeniably entertaining, and he can sing. I like Joe Cocker, whom he most closely resembles. But I suspect even Taylor's biggest fans would concede -- if they were being honest, as Simon might say -- that he belongs on stage in a really good bar someplace, or maybe in Vegas, jerking his head and shoulders in front of a bevy of showgirls. He's no pop idol, that's for sure.

So I think he belongs in the bottom two this week, probably with Elliott, a better singer but much lamer showman. I like Elliott, too, but we're at the point where there's no more fat to be trimmed.

When I do a consumer column, it usually involves a problem someone else complained about.

I’ve posted items on my blog about scams and injustices that still are drawing comments, months later, from people around the country who had similar problems.

For example, go back to my blog entry titled, “Cramming,” written last August. You’ll find several other people there who have been victimized with phantom charges on their phone bills.

Today, I’m the victim. I’m telling you about it because it involves the same kind of mail solicitations that I suspect many of you receive. I’ll mention the company by name, to avoid damning other companies by implication, but I suspect they’re not unique.

I wrote recently about the fiasco at the National Spelling Bee regional finals, sponsored by the Express-Times newpaper. The seven semifinalists, seated alphabetically, all spelled their last word wrong. Instead of giving them all a new word, the judges singled out the last two misspellers and deemed them the finalists.

This was patently unfair, and many parents and teachers rightly complained about what happened. But Express-Times editor Joe Owens wrote a column in which he not only defended the decision as a proper application of the rules, but berated everyone who disagreed -- and The Morning Call for writing about it. It was pretty appalling, so I ripped him.

Among those who wrote to me afterward was Adam Bonin, one of the writers for the throwingthingsblog. It turns out that they're on the lookout every year for bizarre spelling bee-related events, and picked up on my column. I think you'll enjoy the dialogue there, including a call to e-mail Owens and demand all seven semifinalists be brought back. For that matter, you'll enjoy the whole blog, which is lively and entertaining. Bonin said the blog is written by lawyers, ex-lawyers and other professionals.

Be advised that the language in this particular item is bit more harsh than you'll see in The Morning Call or its blogs, so if you're easily offended, don't go there. But the rest of you should check it out.