Meditations are different kinds. Meditations can be of the nature of worship, which may involve a beginning or an end, a sound or a mantra, meditation can be of the nature of contemplation – contemplation upon the realities of life. Contemplation on the true nature of myself, upon the realities of my life. It is this form of meditation that we wish to perform, contemplation upon or seeing the realities of life.

That being the case, there is nothing really to be done, nothing to be accomplished, I am not seeking gaining a new experience, I am not seeking some unusual sensation – all I am seeking in this meditation is to be myself. It can be said to be an appointment with myself. It may sound somewhat strange, that I am meditating upon myself. But that becomes necessary, because I generally do not have an opportunity to see myself as I am.

No doubt I am all the time aware of myself, all the time I see myself, but still, I see myself as a related person, I see myself from a given stand-point – I see myself as performing a certain role.

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Thus I am aware of myself as a father, as mother, as husband, as wife, as son, as friend, as daughter-in-law, as a superior, as subordinate, as a collegue, as happy, unhappy, as a successful as a failure – and thus in different roles I am aware of myself.

And when I am aware of myself I am also aware of various pleasures and pains associated with that self and therefore I generally take myself to be a happy or an unhappy person, successful or not successful.

That is a given kind of understanding about myself. But what we seek in this contemplative meditation is to really see myself as I am devoid of all the roles. Like an actor who performs various roles on the stage – displays various emotions associated with those roles and then goes back to the green-room and becomes his own self – similarly also through out the day and even in the dream, I play various roles and display emotions associated with those roles. But who am I without those roles?

Just as the actor who performs different roles, is different from those roles, similarly, I, who performs those various roles am different from those roles. Each role, comes up on account of my identifying with something or the other. Identifying with my child I am a parent. Identifying with my parent I am a child. Identifying with my body, I am a man or a woman. Identifying with my mind, I am happy, I am unhappy. Identifying with my intellect, I am a success, I am not a success. All these various conclusions about myself arise on account of identifications, on account of evaluating myself from different stand-points.

Who am I when I do not identify with anything. I am the simple person, who has a personality. This body, this mind, this intellect, all of these form my personality. Various instruments are given to me to interact with the world. I am the person presiding over this personality, enlivening this personality, imparting sentiency to the personality.

There are limitations in the personality. The body is no doubt limited. Limited in its abilities, capacities. The sense organs are also limited. The faculty of seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, walking, talking, all these various faculties are also limited. My mind, the emotional faculty is also limited. My intellect, the faculty to learn is also limited. My personality is limited, which is fine. The person presiding over the limited personality, however is not limited. The sense of limitation that I experience about myself is not because I the person is limited. It is on account of identification with the personality.

At this time, I see this fact – that ‘yes’ my personality consisting of the body, the sense organs the mind, the intellect, that is all limited, having its limitations, its short comings – its virtues and limitations – but I am the simple person, plain and simple conscious being who is the witness to this personality.Who imparts sentiency to the personality. Who is of the nature of plain and simple awareness. I am free from the limitations, inspite of the limitations of the personality. The various conclusions I have about myself are because I judge myself from the stand-point of my personality. I am the simple person.

Cidananda Rupah shivoham shivoham

Cidananda Rupah shivoham shivoham

Cid ananda rupah –of the nature of Shiva – ananda I am of the nature of cit, pure awareness, ananda the fullness, that fullness, boundless, silent awareness – that is what I am- and that is the meaning of the word Shiva – the auspicious. Shivoham – I am Shiva the auspicious – the awareness – the fullness – in midst of limitations I am free of limitations. In the midst of virtue and vice I am devoid of both of them.

This meditation is to see this fact about myself.

Cidanadarupah shivoham shivoham

Cidananda rupah shivoham shivoham Shivoham Shivoham

Shivoham Shivoham Shivoham Shivoham Shivoham

…..

…..

Om Purnam adah purnam idam purnat purnam udacyate

Purnasya purnamaadaya purnam evaavashishyate

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