]]>Valentine’s day is peak season for online dating. From the new year to February 14th, there are more people dating online than any other time of the year. This isn’t to say that everyone will disappear on the 15th. It seems more like the motivation from New Year’s resolutions starts to wear off here and many people with a relationship resolution see February 14th as a date where the decide if they were successful or a failure for their resolution.

However, this also means that many people will be putting in a lot of effort with online dating sites prior to Valentine’s day. This means there’s a good chance that many of us giving online dating a try might find ourselves with a date on Valentine’s day, maybe even a first date.

First Dates and Valentine’s Day

There are many good ideas for Valentine’s day if we’re talking about it generally. A dinner at a fancy restaurant is always a good time or is it? Depends on if you want to be among the millions of others that take their dates out to eat. However, online dating can put a twist on this and it really depends on where you are in the relationship. If this is the first date, in most cases it makes more sense to keep things simple. Plus, trying to get a reservation can be a huge task if you’re just scheduling a first date now.

There is even an argument that scheduling a first date on the 13th or 15th is better. While there’s no rule against the first date on Valentine’s day itself, it can create some awkwardness or some people might find it off-putting. I wouldn’t say that you should never go on a first or second date on Valentine’s day, but at the same time, you might be saving yourself a headache if you meet on the 13th. And really, is it bad meeting a day earlier? I don’t think so.

For Those that See Valentine’s Day as “Failure”

I mention above that many people will stop online dating because they feel like they failed. I would encourage you not to do this. I’ve been using online dating for over six months at the time of this writing. There have been a lot of ups and downs and more than a few frustrating days.

But I keep trying. And my life is much more interesting because of that. So if you approach the 14th as a day where you declare yourself a failure, don’t! You’re not because you’re just like so many of us. If this dating thing were easy, somebody would have solved it long before services like Match.com or eHarmony came along.

No one wants to be alone on this lovers holiday. If you’re lonely but not trying anything at all, take a step toward love by joining a dating site. This time next year you could be one of the lucky ones enjoying a special evening with that special someone. And yes, it might take a year, but let’s be honest with ourselves and agree that things worth having almost always take work. Some people are alone on Valentine’s day but don’t have to be if they would turn their attention to the effort.

Also, I realize that by the time many of you read this there’s no time left to really find that date for Valentine’s day, even if you sign up for a service now. I would encourage you to not dwell on “failing” and instead try getting together with some close friends. Don’t forget that single can be just as fun or exciting as a private evening for two.

Recognizing Many People Give Up Now

One more argument for not giving up on your online dating efforts when Valentine’s day passes. You now know that many people will be giving up around this time. But what about the people who don’t? What about the people who see Valentine’s day roll by and say, “I’m not giving up. I’m sticking with this”. That seems like an interesting group of people and I’m going to be one of them.

In addition to the good feeling of sticking with it, I think it’s possible to meet some really great people who are committed to finding a relationship even when the going gets rough. That’s a quality I would love to find in someone I date: resiliency and the ability to stick with things that are hard. And let’s be honest: relationships are often hard so I see this as a great quality. Of course, there’s no guarantee that meeting someone on February 20th means they’ll fit this mold, but I think it’s another reason worth sticking it out.

I’d like to argue that you’ll also see a reduction in competition too. But I don’t think that’s being totally honest because not only will some of your competition quit, but so will some of the people you can meet. So I think your competition will stay the same…but that’s not the point. The point is to keep trying and if you do find someone in the weeks after Valentine’s day, I promising that years from now you’ll never even give a thought to that last Valentine’s day you spent alone. You probably won’t remember it at all!

For Those in Budding (or Longer) Relationships

There are a lot of ideas for Valentine’s day itself. My two key rules are: 1) do something special for your partner and 2) don’t forget. Valentine’s day is a very special time, especially for those who are more sentimental. Most guys know that their significant other not only expects something but would be crushed if we forget. If you do forget fellas, you’re going to be in the doghouse. I’d recommend for all those guys in a relationship to jump onto your Google calendar right now and create a recurring meeting every year to remind you on February 1st to not be a jerk by forgetting Valentine’s day!

As for what to do, we can discuss the fancy dinner I mentioned earlier. That’s a good choice, but I like making the day about the person I’m with and love staying at home. I know that may not sound exciting, but handled the right way, it can be an excellent option. Here are ideas for those of you that want to stay home on Valentine’s day.

One good idea for a Valentines is a romantic dinner for two at home. Fellas learn to cook her favorite meal and dessert. I’ve found that even if you end up not being the best chef, this doesn’t work against you. Bad food with loving intention often creates a memory that will last for years.

Being at home can be so relaxing and if you’re in a relationship with a particularly busy person this can present you with a great opportunity to celebrate while also giving them some downtime. Go out to the store a few days before the big day and get all of the supplies. I’m talking popcorn, chocolate, the works. Enjoy a romantic movie on Netflix and make sure that everything is taken care of so your loved one can really relax.

To build on this idea if you have time and resources is to create a spa type atmosphere. Pamper your lady (or man!). Give her a pedicure or a massage can be a great addition to a relaxing evening at home. Think candles, essential oils, and dim lighting.

Another idea for a Valentine adventure at home would be a project to do. Something that you’ve been wanting to redo or start. That could mean changing the drapes in the living room to taking wallpaper down. Often doing things for a common good brings people closer together. Of course, if you and your significant other fight like cats and dogs when working on projects, then stay away from this one!

Staying in isn’t for everyone but just doing a nice dinner feels overdone. My approach to this is to take that person out for their favorite thing. Maybe he likes skiing take him to his favorite slopes for the weekend. Maybe she loves rock climbing. Take her to favorite indoor spot. There are a ton of things to do and you don’t have to keep things traditional with flowers, candy, and dinner. Some people love to read and would enjoy getting a book signed by their favorite author. Some might want to jump out of an airplane together. You won’t find me jumping out of any planes anytime soon, but if I were asked to take a nature hike I would love that. It’s all about recognizing who they are and what they love even if that means doing something extremely untraditional. Do it together and focus on your love for one another and who cares if other people think that it sounds odd for the holiday.

Final Thoughts of Valentine’s Day

First, I would remind everyone that showing you’re affection for someone does not have to be just once a year on V-day. Often I think we forget to show how we care. Showing how we care is in a loving way can mean much more than just telling someone how we care. At least for me, it does. I’d rather have a person show me their love for me then tell me every day. There are many ways we can show our love for people by our actions and the list I mentioned above could happen at any time. Or something small like a note in someone’s lunch every day is a sweet reminder to say “Hey I’m thinking of you and I care.”

Other things you can do for your significant other can be to take some of the workload off of his or her shoulders. If the wash needs to be done through a load in. Maybe the kitchen floor needs to be mopped. Any household chores will really show you care. Fellas, if she asks you to do something like trim the bushes, for the love of Pete don’t wait for five months to do it! Do it when she asks and see it as celebrating Valentine’s day all year long. Believe me, this may all may sound trivial but to your partner will mean the world.

Every day counts not just Valentines Day. So. if you do follow my advice of showing love not just say it when V-day comes around just roses and a card will catapult you into the stratosphere. The build-up is what makes the day so great.

As I mentioned before if you don’t have a date for valentines day I recommend that you try online dating. This doesn’t mean your first date has to be Valentine’s day, but it could mean that you will have a date for next year. More and more people are using online dating to find love. Don’t be left out and definitely don’t just beat yourself up every day for being alone without giving yourself a chance to fix that.

Even if you don’t have much experience with a computer or using a dating site I think it’s worth a try and you can treat it as an adventure. We provide a free online dating guide on how to get started if you’re not even sure where to begin. It walks you through step by step how to build your profile and many other areas.

This year could be your year to find that special someone. Don’t let more time pass by. Can you imagine if you do meet someone and then next year you’re no longer beating yourself up when the holiday arrives? What would that be like? Try to motivate yourself to try even though it will be hard (it will) and even though you shouldn’t expect to be in a relationship immediately (you shouldn’t).

I wish you all the best good luck in your search. Remember, you’re not the only one who struggles. I deal with the frustration too, but let’s both commit to continuing to put the effort in to find that special someone!

]]>http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2018/02/10/good-ideas-for-valentines-day/feed/0Valentine’s Day is on the Horizon!http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2018/02/10/valentines-day-is-on-the-horizon/
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I used to view Valentine’s Day as a shallow Hallmark holiday. I used to feel expressions of love were forced because of a colander date, and that capitalism was the impure driving force behind this holiday. Over the years, my perspective of Valentine’s Day has shifted into a more and appreciative understanding ...

]]>Valentine’s day is hot on the horizon, folks! Is it worth celebrating? And how can you best use this celebration of love to improve your online dating success?

I used to view Valentine’s Day as a shallow Hallmark holiday. I used to feel expressions of love were forced because of a colander date, and that capitalism was the impure driving force behind this holiday. Over the years, my perspective of Valentine’s Day has shifted into a more and appreciative understanding that it is a modern day ritual. Valentine’s Day comes with traditional expressions, such as dinner for two, gifting roses, and requesting one to “be our Valentine”. Though the underlying sense of meaning for this day comes from connecting with our partner(s) in loving ways.

Showing our love can be channeled through different ‘love languages’ (as outlined by Gary Chapman), including spending quality time together, gift giving, physical touch, acts of service, and words of affirmation. This goes for budding relationships as well. Everyone prioritized different channels of love differently, so be true to what love language you prefer and with time, you will learn what speaks most dearly to your date / partner(s). Above all, maintaining respect and honesty are key, which we are seeing play out in a big way with the #metoo movement. Respect supports connection, and quality connection is what gives life meaning!

Make use of Valentine’s Day by inviting someone on a date. Your time together will be held in a ritualistic space with the very clear air of romance. Whether you desire to perform traditional V-day actions, like bringing a rose, is up to you. If you don’t feel that is appropriate to your fresh connection, or if you don’t particularly vibe with common valentine celebrations, you can opt out of the card exchanges and go for a hike or even meet for coffee. The point is, even a casual date on Valentine’s Day will be enhanced with a sense of being ‘special’ because it falls on February 14th. Take advantage of this! Everybody loves to feel special, and a lot of folk adore holiday celebrations. Why not invite someone to enjoy the day with?

The key is to manage your expectations, and not to get caught up in someone else’s expectations of what the day is supposed to look like. Everybody feels differently about Valentine’s Day, and it doesn’t have to be something tha weighs on your shoulders. If you are longing for a date, if you are bitter about the consumerist ideals behind V-day, or if you’re nervous your date might be disappointed if you don’t bring him or her a rose, then then take breath. The truth is, the day is about connection, and we can form genuine and uplifting connections with or without tradition. Feel into the moment, and flow with it!

Furthermore(!), the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day are some of the busiest days for online dating networks. Busier networks mean greater likelihood of meeting a suitable match! Folks flock to the online scene as the desire for love becomes a more prominent theme in our culture – heart chocolates in the grocery store, flowers for sale on sidewalks, and likely releases of romantic comedy films. Love is in the air! If you have been struggling to connect with people online, you’ll likely have better chances if you start sending messages to individuals, and even set up a Valentine’s date!

Keep your eyes peeled for discounted rates for your preferred online dating network. These discounts and perks are shared directly through the app or website, and are often found through e-mail newsletters. So, if you haven’t signed up for the newsletter, it might be something worth considering!

Happy Valentines Day! . . .Or, as some people in my community joke, “Happy Singles Awareness Day!”Whenever this holiday rolls around, it can be a tough one for singles seeking a partner with whom to share those wonderful depths of intimacy. This cultural celebration makes astoundingly easy to draw a sharp contrast between the “haves” and the “have nots” of romantic relationships, but do we really have to be so divided?
For anyone ...

Happy Valentines Day! . . .Or, as some people in my community joke, “Happy Singles Awareness Day!”Whenever this holiday rolls around, it can be a tough one for singles seeking a partner with whom to share those wonderful depths of intimacy. This cultural celebration makes astoundingly easy to draw a sharp contrast between the “haves” and the “have nots” of romantic relationships, but do we really have to be so divided?

For anyone feeling down about not having a special someone for Valentine’s Day this year, I have some good news. First, online dating becomes a bustling pool of active fish as people become motivated to find a date for February 14th. This means your chances of finding someone to enjoy a fun night out are higher, even if it is due to cultural pressures! Restaurants, movie theatres, and downtown streets are all decorated to set the scene for a gorgeous evening of romance, which will give your date a special ambiance easily remembered.

I’ll be honest, I’m not someone who feels particularly invested in Valentine’s Day, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t raised by a culture that does place significance over celebrating it. This also doesn’t mean I refuse to celebrate with people who find this yearly celebration of love makes their hearts warm and their spirits giddy. I remember going on a double valentine’s date with someone who I didn’t yet know very well and two of his friends (who were madly in love). I didn’t care about the valentine’s aspect of the evening but it was certainly enjoyable to be out on a double date. What surprised me, though, was that one of the women from the other couple brought a rose for both me and her girlfriend.

The rose wasn’t a gift that came from my own date, hilariously enough, but it was the first time somebody ever gifted me a rose on valentine’s day. This is one of those traditional acts of love for this holiday, and even if I don’t feel any need to celebrate Valentine’s, this gesture nonetheless touched my heart in a way that has caused me to remember it year after year! It seems that being raised by a culture that tells stories of women receiving red roses on February 14th embedded a quiet little desire within me to be able to live the story out for real. I had no idea the desire was there until she handed me the rose and I found myself with a huge smile on my face. The point is, even if you or your date are like me and don’t feel a strong connection and devotion to this holiday, being able to celebrate it together can still feel special.

Let’s make the choice to see next Wednesday as an opportunity for love to blossom. There are plenty of individuals dreaming of a date for this night of the year, so put yourself out there and invite someone out. You never know if it might end up being the perfect match!

Even if it isn’t the perfect match, or if you end up spending the night alone or with friends, let’s relate to February 14th as a day to remind us of the importance of love as an internal force. No other person can make us feel in love. We can only love when we open ourselves to do so. When we love in the purest form, beyond attachment and rooted in acceptance, trust, and a celebration of authenticity, we are cultivating a deep power within ourselves. It effects the way we relate not simply with people romantically, but also with our friends, communities, our work, our bodies, and life as a whole.

Every moment is an opportunity for us to choose love, and Valentine’s Day is no different. Let’s choose to love purely and help to set this tone of unconditional love for every other day of the year. Valentine’s is a beautiful expression because it reminds us to see the love that surrounds us.

What are your Valentine’s plans? How do you feel about this holiday? Share in the comments!

]]>http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2018/02/07/valentines-a-reflection-of-love/feed/0Free eHarmony Weekend January 2018http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2018/01/25/free-eharmony-weekend-jan-2018/
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Valentine’s day is right around the corner and it time for a free eHarmony communication weekend. You could be ...

]]>THIS WEEKEND ONLY, January 26th – January 29th, eHarmony members can communicate with their matches absolutely FREE! This includes anyone who has signed up for a free account in the past as well as those who sign up for a free account today. There’s no payment required to try the free weekend – create your profile and you’re ready to go.

Valentine’s day is right around the corner and it time for a free eHarmony communication weekend. You could be one click away from that special someone. Why not take a chance on love?
Let’s face it being alone on Valentine’s day sucks. We all want to love and to be loved. It’s in our nature. Meeting online has become more common then you might think. The percent of marriages in the last year in which the couple met on a dating site is 17 % The percent of current committed relationships that began online are 20 % These statistics are from 2017 and most likely will increase in the year 2018.

If you have never tried online dating this is a great opportunity to get your feet wet, so to speak. To learn more about free eHarmony weekends, see Brad’s full write-up on the pros and cons of them here.

Now there are drawbacks if you want to look at that way. You can’t see your matches photo and that’s kind of a bummer. I would say you might find a deeper connection using only words.

I know that people are becoming used to using an app to swipe left or right. I think and this is just my opinion people who use eHarmony are more focused on the long run. You must keep in mind that not all of the bells whistle come with the weekend, but if you are interested in eHarmony this is a great way to learn about the site and its assets. Like the white-haired man in the commercials says they match you on a deeper level.

]]>http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2018/01/25/free-eharmony-weekend-jan-2018/feed/0Getting Fit for Online Datinghttp://www.datingadviceguy.com/2018/01/07/a-resolution-to-exercise-for-dating-online/
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The sad thing is most people do pick goals for the New Year, but give up before they see any change. It’s happened to ...

]]>It’s that time again…a New Year and new goals. As I think about my own resolution, I’ve decided to try to focus on exercise and getting more fit as I continue dating online. Thinking about my resolution got me curious about how others handle their resolutions and how much success people do or do not have.

The sad thing is most people do pick goals for the New Year, but give up before they see any change. It’s happened to me and it’s probably happened to you. Don’t let that be you this year! Almost fifty percent of American adult make resolutions each New Year. Looking at PracativeChange.com, we see some depressing numbers for resolutions:

The following shows how many of these resolutions are maintained as time goes on:

past the first week: 75%

past 2 weeks: 71%

after one month: 64%

after 6 months: 46%

When you look at these numbers, one thing you could think is, “Wow so many people don’t keep their resolutions!” If half of Americans have a resolution, it means over 1 in 4 people in the US fail each year within 6 months. But I see something else here too: while only 46% of people keep their resolutions after 6 months, that still means that someone is doing something right! What is it about the people who succeed that is different from those that fail? There are probably too many areas to cover in one article, but here are three ideas I think could help you have better success with a resolution:

Plan for the Risk of Failure
Just as Brad talks about in his online dating guide, success rarely comes on accident. The online dating guide argues that planning and research can help you with online dating, the same is true for your resolutions. I’d suggest the first part of planning is admitting to yourself that resolutions are hard and decide right now what you will do when you’re tempted to give up in a month or two. That may sound pessimistic, but I think it’s better to plan for the “bad” than to assume everything will be good!

Pick a Specific Goal
If you’re in school or work in a corporation, you might be familiar with SMART goals. If not, check out the link…but basically it comes down to making sure that your goals are created in a way to give you something clear to work toward and a way to recognize when you have success. For example, your resolution might be, “I’m going to try online dating”. That’s not a great resolution…the only option for success, we would assume, is meeting someone and entering a relationship. A better goal would be, “I’m going to try online dating for the next three months with the goal of going on three first dates in that time”. This, in my opinion, is a much better goal!

Have Support or Accountability When You Can
Another area that has really helped me is having support or accountability with resolutions. What’s the difference? Well, if your resolution is to work our regularly the “support” could be a workout partner where “accountability” would be more like a workout coach. If you were online dating, support might be finding a friend who is also trying online dating and sharing the ups and downs with each other. Accountability in this example might be asking a friend to check in with you once a week to make sure you’re still giving it your all. In either case, support/accountability can help us stay on task even when we feel frustrated.

Online Dating and Resolutions

I believe many people end up using online dating as a part of their New Year’s resolution (although not many people admit to online dating being their resolution). When you look at the most popular resolutions, fitness is in the top 3. There are many reasons that people want to get fit, but I think if spend much time on this website, then a fitness goal is likely in part related to wanting land more dates.

I know myself that health will play a big part of my new year. In a sense, I want to attract women that are attracted to men who keep themselves in shape. I can only speak for myself, but I know the type of woman I’m looking for is healthy and might be labeled as “fit”. I want to offer the same and while I’ve heard that women are more forgiving than men, I’ve noticed women ask for men that are physically fit or want to get fit regularly in online dating profiles that I’m seeing.

So I ask, why not get fit for love? I can’t guarantee that it will increase the number of dates that one may have, but I do really believe that it will make a difference. Not only in the number of possible dates, but just in everyday life.

Imagining a Good Way to Start a Resolution
Let’s take a walk down fantasy lane. Let’s imagine for a moment that you want to change your life. Can you imagine that? OK, let’s say one of your biggest goals is to get fit and you say to yourself,
“This is the year. Nothing can stop me from achieving my goals this year!” So, where do you start?

I would keep it simple and as I described above, start planning! So step 1: deciding on a gym, or some other place to work out, and be intentional to find something that is right for you. Do you have late nights? You might want a 24 hour gym. Were you a swimming all-star in high school? A gym with a pool might help you stick to your goals. Whatever it is that makes you “you”, make sure you find what’s most likely to work before you commit.

Next, you want to do is commit to yourself that you will go and plan when. Imagine the outcome, imagine how better off you will be a month from now, three months from now, a year. Imagine how hard it’s going to be…that’s right! Because we need to be honest with ourselves. And maybe even imagine sharing your goals with a friend who will keep you on track.

Now, let’s say you follow through with everything. Even before you shed all the pounds you want to, chances are you’re feeling good, and when you feel good about yourself you become confident. When you feel good and you are confident you become more attractive to others. Studies have shown that introducing even a small amount of discipline or habit can have big impacts, even before you meet your final goal.

Speaking of goals: a good thing to do is to date people who share the similar goals. It doesn’t always work out this way, but it’s something to look out for. That might mean you start dating someone and it’s easy for you both to transition into working out together at the gym. Again, this is my goal but it could really be any resolution in theory. I would think that the shared successes and frustrations of a particular goal could bring people closer. Working together for a common goal usually has those results in my opinion.

Getting Fit…Even Without Love?
While I’m motivated to work out because I’m dating online, there are benefits even if it doesn’t lead to more dates. What are some benefits of working out? From what I’ve found as I’ve done some research, not surprisingly, there is a lot that shows that working out improves many, many areas of lives. Sure, it improves our health which we all know, but there are other areas too. Which isn’t to say that losing weight or looking better isn’t a good reason. But here are some reasons on top of those:

Working out is a mood changer and has been shown to improve how we feel. I’ve read that it can even help reduce depression in some people.

It helps to boost energy even on days when you’re not working out.

Working out keeps you more healthy, helping the body to fight high blood pressure and increasing good cholesterol.

An obvious effect of working out is that you lose weight. It also helps you maintain weight.

Regular exercise can help you sleep better at night and fall deeper into sleep.

Working out can help reduce stress – even limit amounts of exercise regularly have shown to help here.

Exercise can improve your self-confidence. You feel good from working out and often you looking good from working out.

Working out can help get you out of the house and into the great outdoors which is also something healthy to do, which more and more of us miss out on in our modern world.

The brain releases dopamine which is a rewarding drug to the body a natural high. So working out can help you stay away from other addiction that may be bad for you.

Longevity is also a great effect of exercise. While there’s no guarantee for a longer life, there’s no doubt that exercise helps people avoid so many of the diseases that can cause an early death.

And last but not least exercising can improve your love life…without getting too detailed, I think we all realize that stamina is a good benefit for more than just the gym!

So yes, I am motivated to get healthier in part because I’m dating online. However, I’m also trying to keep all these other areas in mind to help keep me motivated too.

My Final Thoughts
If you’re thinking about getting healthier like me, don’t let another year go by making excuses for why you can’t work out. I can only speak for myself, but I have found that people who are serious about something will do it…they find a way, they find the time, they follow through. I know for me it has been a struggle most of my life to follow through when it comes to working out but I’m back at it again and I’m happy to share that with all of you here. Maybe you’ll even help hold me accountable!

So if you’ve been reading this thinking, “Easier said than done!”, I can relate because I have had trouble with this too. I have found that it’s about pushing forward one step at a time, even if you do fall back a few steps sometimes. And maybe you’re nervous about dating, but I’ve found that stepping out of your comfort zone can do amazing things for you. In 2017 I began to do just that with online dating and it has been a real eye-opener for me. I hope that if you are reading this that you go for it this year. We may not know each other but know that I’ll be pulling for you all the same!

So, now I have to find my gym. I have no idea how many gyms there are out there, but I do know there are a lot. As I discussed above, I believe that finding the right one is a personal choice so I’m trying to take into account what will work best for me. I know that Planet Fitness focuses on having a facility where you can feel safe or at least not judged as much. They even don’t approve of some activities in the gym because they don’t want their other clients to feel intimidated. I think that would be a good gym for someone who is just beginning and they also have personal training for you. Although, I would imagine that most gyms have this. I’ve also looked into a gym that’s open 24 hours a day and has a swimming pool although I’ve not found one close enough to me unfortunately. I’m sure I’ll find the right one…and you can too!

So, that’s where I’m at. I hope my thoughts will “try and pump you up!”, but ultimately the choice is yours. Finally, if you want another take on New Year’s resolutions, check out the video below. Best of luck to everyone trying to exercise discipline in a new way this year!

]]>http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2018/01/07/a-resolution-to-exercise-for-dating-online/feed/0eHarmony Free Weekendhttp://www.datingadviceguy.com/2017/12/28/eharmony-free-weekend/
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eHarmony is once again continuing their tradition of providing a free communication weekend as we start the New Year. For those in the US, you can try eHarmony for free starting on Friday, December 29th and it continues until the end of the day on January 2nd, 2018. You don’t need a credit card to try out the free weekend – just create your free account and you’ll be ...

eHarmony is once again continuing their tradition of providing a free communication weekend as we start the New Year. For those in the US, you can try eHarmony for free starting on Friday, December 29th and it continues until the end of the day on January 2nd, 2018. You don’t need a credit card to try out the free weekend – just create your free account and you’ll be able to participate.

Signing up anytime before (or during) free communication will enable you to go through the communication process on eHarmony. Also, if you already have an account at eHarmony, you’re also able to try the free weekend.

The Good of the Free Weekends

One of the best parts of the eHarmony free communication time, particularly at the beginning of a new year, is that there will be many new people joining. This means you should see additional matches coming in over the free time. In January, lots of people sign up for dating services for their New Year’s Resolution and for a variety of other reasons, so even without free weekends January is a good time to see new matching on eHarmony.

A second good part of the free weekends, although it will sound silly since it’s so obvious, is the ability to communicate! However, I think it’s important to point this out because so many people will do something like the following:

Sign up (or sign back into an existing account) on Friday.

Look over their eHarmony matches and think about starting the communication process but do nothing.

Saturday or Sunday finally work up the nerve to contact one of their matches.

End the free weekend having contacted only one person.

I understand people who do this…heck, I used to be one of these people who approached online dating this way. However, if you decide to try the free weekend let me recommend that you try contacting as many of your matches as you can. Again, I realize this advice sounds so straight-forward that it seems like not stating, but having talked to so many people about this over the years, I know it’s important to remind people of this.

The communication process with eHarmony takes time. There’s back and forth between the individuals that won’t allow you to be in a place where you’re scheduling your first date in the first hour or so. The free weekend is helpful not just because it’s free, but because it helps you get a handle on the communication process within eHarmony.

So my rule if you’re logging in for a free weekend? Communicate early and communicate with as many matches as you can. Try to communicate with all your matches (gasp!) by Friday night if you can. If you’re talking with someone and feel like it’s not going anywhere or they’re not someone you want to meet, that’s fine! But better to communicate and know this than to not try at all.

The Bad of Free Weekends

You’re probably already picking up on one of the “bads” of a free weekend: you only have so much time. My emphasis above in regard to being intentional about contacting people is based on the fact that you only have 5 days in this case. Of course, nothing will stop you from signing up to communicate beyond 5 days, but for many people, the whole point of the free weekends is to try to explore for…free!

In addition, while eHarmony is made to be free to communicate, this free time does not include every single feature that a paying member would have. The most important missing feature is that you won’t see photos. Which does take away quite a bit from the process and I think eHarmony wouldn’t lose much by including this feature (it’s been this way for close to 10 years so I don’t expect it to change).

One of the other features that aren’t included in the free weekend is Skip to Email. This is a feature where when you see a profile that you feel a connection to, you can skip the eHarmony Communication process and immediately email one another. I don’t see this missing feature as problematic as missing photos though. A part of the benefit of eHarmony is the communication process and how it helps start the conversation when you do get to emailing.

The final feature missing is Secure Call. This is a feature where you can call each other through eHarmony but not provide your real phone number to one another. Again, would it be nice if this feature were included in the free weekend? Sure. But missing it doesn’t take too much away. Things have changed a lot since I started dating online (all the way back in 2005!) and in the last 10+ years, I’ve seen online dating from being suspicious of everyone all the time to people giving each other their phone numbers in the first or second email! I’m not saying that I think giving your phone number out in a first email is a good idea, but things have changed. If you make it through the eHarmony Communication process, you’ll then be able to email one another any details you want (until the end of the free time). I’d assume one of the details you’d send one another would be phone numbers! So this missing feature isn’t really taking much away.

But I’m Already a Member…This Isn’t Fair!

What if you’re already paying? Is this unfair since all the people who aren’t paying are going to get to use a service you’re paying for?

I suppose you could look at it that way. However, I look at it differently. One of the negatives I see in eHarmony when comparing it to something like Match.com is that you can’t browse every member. Instead, you need to wait for eHarmony to provide you with your matches. If you’ve been on eHarmony for a month or two, you’ll see that there are times where you’re not getting as many matches as you used to. This can particularly be seen if you live in a rural area.

So, while it’s true that other people are going to get to communicate for free, as a paying member you’re going to see a lot of new people join. You might go from having only a few matches to a dozen overnight. I do get the complaint that you’re paying for something someone else isn’t, but I think if you stay on top of things and communicate with your matches, you have a better opportunity during the free weekends too. Plus, you get to see the photos which is something!

Keep in mind: the goal of paying for an online dating service typically isn’t about what you’re paying. It’s about who you’re meeting. Try to look at the free weekends that way: lots more people to talk to.

Good luck to anyone trying the free weekend and hope everyone has a great New Year!

]]>http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2017/12/28/eharmony-free-weekend/feed/0Why music is becoming a big part of online dating?http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2017/12/14/why-music-is-becoming-a-big-part-of-online-dating/
http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2017/12/14/why-music-is-becoming-a-big-part-of-online-dating/#respondThu, 14 Dec 2017 13:40:48 +0000http://www.datingadviceguy.com/?p=8652
I love music and love the fact that one can now use music on their profile on some apps and sites. It opens up a whole new world of communicating. Thinking about the earlier days of dating, people would often go to the club and dance. Music was right there with us every step of the way.
Apps like bumble encourage ...

]]>Music is such a big part of our lives and is being used more and more in online dating.

I love music and love the fact that one can now use music on their profile on some apps and sites. It opens up a whole new world of communicating. Thinking about the earlier days of dating, people would often go to the club and dance. Music was right there with us every step of the way.

Apps like bumble encourage you to use a theme song and top Spotify songs. Let’s think about this for a second. You put out there what type of music you like or a song that makes you groove. You are going to have something in common with the person who gets your taste in music. What a great way to express yourself. Where words fail music speaks. One of my favorite quotes.

Think about the way music is in our everyday lives. Think about how we use music. Maybe first to dance with a potential partner. Then maybe we use music to set the mood. Then ultimately for that first dance again…full circle.

Music can help us tell our story. Here are a couple of sites and an app that use music in a big way.

Tastebuds
Meet new people. Discover new music
With hundreds of thousands of users, you’ll never run out of new people to chat with, new music to discover, or fun things to do. “Definitely a ‘why didn’t I think of that’ idea”. @moearora. “A dazzlingly slick and intuitive site with enormous potential for growth”.

A Sound Match
Use music personality to predict compatibility. A Sound Match uses music to predict compatibility for music dating and relationship compatibility. Take the 3-minute quiz. Get matched with someone who brings out your best.

]]>Online dating is a fast lane towards human connection, but this doesn’t necessarily mean it is a quick stop to real intimacy. When we clearly state our needs and intentions with an online profile, we are more likely to attract people who’s needs and desires align with our own. This increases our likelihood of lasting connection, however it remains our responsibility to build a real and quality connection. The good news is that this doesn’t have to be a long process. Time deepens intimacy, but I have learned a few intimacy hacks to start bringing you and your date closer together on a genuine heart level.

Open & Honest Communication

It is an universal need to be seen and accepted for who we are. Set yourself up to be truly seen by beginning your relationship on an honest tone with open communication.

This begins as early as your profile. Be sure to communicate clearly what you are truly looking for: long term relationship? No strings attached? Monogamy?

When you meet someone you like, your first date should continue to reflect yourself honestly. It is common to put on a persona in order to appear more attractive to somebody, especially if we project and pretend to know what they want of us. Skip the games and set an intention together for honesty and clarity.

Empathy

This goes hand in hand with open and honest communication. We are only able to communicate ourselves honestly when we give empathy towards ourselves, feeling our truths and therefore translating our needs and feelings to words. When we learn how to give empathy to ourselves, we can offer empathy to others. In their speech, we can listen more deeply to hear the underlying expression being made, which is often about a need being or not being met. When people feel there are received empathically, connection instantly develops because they feel seen.

Eye Gazing

I love eye gazing. I have been to a few intimacy building workshops and eye gazing practices have always been my favourite. Invite your date to make eye contact with you. To encourage comfort, you can set the boundary of eye gazing for 3 minutes, to ease the pressure of “when am I supposed to look away?”. While eye gazing, you can sit quietly and experience the flood of feelings in your own body as you observe and are observed. To take it a step further, you can begin to talk to each other. While eye gazing, you can state your intentions for the connection, such as, “I value honesty and it is my intention to get to know you for who you truly are, and to show you my authenticity.”

Some workshops I have attended included enjoyable games suited for those interested in pushing their boundaries. For example, while eye gazing, your date asks you, “How are you feeling?” You offer a response. Then, your date asks you again, “How are you feeling?” And you offer another response. Like this, your date continues to ask you how you are feeling and your responses reveal a series of present emotions both at the surface and under the surface. Then, you can change roles.

Remember to Breathe

Yes, really. Get into the habit of checking in with yourself about your breathing. You might be surprised about how often you discover you’re holding your breath or taking shallow breaths. Whether feeling nervous, excited, or even bored, controlling your breathing is a key to influencing your nervous system to remain relaxed and balanced. This impacts the way you speak, hold your body, and supports presence in your connection. Believe it or not, all of these positive results actually make you more attractive because you will be giving off a calm and self-controlled vibe. Never underestimate the power of even breathing!

You have all of the power you need to develop intimacy! If one person is closed to connection, remember this reflects nothing about you, rather their own readiness and openness. As long as you remain centred in your heart and available to see and be seen, real human connection is bound to enter your life.

]]>http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2017/12/10/4-tips-for-cultivating-real-intimacy/feed/0How many dating profiles should you have?http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2017/12/07/how-many-dating-profiles-should-you-have/
http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2017/12/07/how-many-dating-profiles-should-you-have/#respondThu, 07 Dec 2017 22:39:21 +0000http://www.datingadviceguy.com/?p=8640
After a while, I wanted to try a site that was more in-depth in regards to ...

]]>When I first started with online dating, I planned to just test the waters. I went with one online dating site that seemed to be the most popular for a free site, Plenty of Fish. After this, I added more free sites to see if I could increase my odds. For me, the free site didn’t seem to be a good match or fit.

After a while, I wanted to try a site that was more in-depth in regards to dating analysis and matching. So I then moved to Match, but I kept my free online dating profiles going for a little while too. Nothing blossomed from the free sites so I turned all of my concentration to Match. But still…I found myself wanting to branch out and try something new. I turned to dating apps as another method. Today, I currently use two dating apps and one online dating site.

Now does having all of these options at one really help? All I can say is it definitely gave me more options and more opportunity. I can’t guarantee that it will work for you, but in my opinion, it’s better to have multiple profiles to increase your odds. I know that some people see this as some type of defeat, but don’t! At the same time, I would warn you to be conservative. Adding too many sites can get confusing and overwhelming…you can get to the point where you don’t even remember the details of the person you’re talking to. And you could be viewed as just plain desperate if browsers started seeing your profile on all the sites they visited.

What it all comes down to is this: do you want to be on multiple sites/apps or do you want to just be on one. Like anything else, it’s personal preference but try to be really honest with yourself. Sometimes we stay with only one service because of pride, which isn’t a great reason. On this topic, I found this article to be most helpful.

For me even though some of the links are dead now the content of the article helped me make a comprehensive decision.

]]>http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2017/12/07/how-many-dating-profiles-should-you-have/feed/0Why is online dating so Popular?http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2017/12/05/why-is-online-dating-so-popular/
http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2017/12/05/why-is-online-dating-so-popular/#respondTue, 05 Dec 2017 23:31:43 +0000http://www.datingadviceguy.com/?p=8635
First, the issue of looking for your mate’s attributes and physical appearance. Online dating makes it easy for one to look for what they want and what they are attracted to. In real life, you can’t really filter the people you meet down to women with ...

]]>Today I want to share with you want I learned about why online dating is so popular. As I’ve read more on this, there are a few things that have lead to this phenomena.

First, the issue of looking for your mate’s attributes and physical appearance. Online dating makes it easy for one to look for what they want and what they are attracted to. In real life, you can’t really filter the people you meet down to women with brown or blue eyes. But online, you can look just for that. Or it can be hobbies or activities. Someone people want others that workout on a regular basis, which again is not something you can filter out in real life.

According to https://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics/64% of people say common interests are the most important factor when dating. With that in mind, it’s a little crazy to think that you can basically shop online for the person you want to spend your life with. Of course, that has its drawbacks: sometimes I get way more specific about what I’m looking for which can mean we end up being too picky. But all in all, it’s a net positive to be able to search this way.

Another reason suggested for the boom in online dating is meeting preference. That is to say, in the club is not where some folks feel comfortable. In fact, you might argue that for a long time many people didn’t feel comfortable here but what other options did you have all those years ago? Related to this is another reason: people may be too shy to approach someone in a club or even in the frozen food section at the supermart. Online dating makes the approach and potential rejection a lot easier to manage.

Stats found on https://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics/ state the total number of people in the U.S. who have tried online dating 49,650,000 and that annual revenue from the online dating industry is $1,935,000,000
So it would be an understatement to say that business is booming when it comes to online dating. People seem to gravitate to things they can control and being able to pick want you want in a partner look and income is in a way a form of self-fulfillment and control in a sense.

One other thing that I think contributes to the popularity of online dating is the fun. I can’t say that it’s easy, but one can make it an adventure. One of the aspects that I enjoy about online dating is learning more about myself. I’m an older online dater so things are a bit different for me, and its a whole new ball game. So one learns to adjust. For me, I started to think “What do I really want in a partner?”, “What do I have to offer to someone?” You start asking yourself all these questions and you start thinking, hey, this is more of who I am. It forces us to reflect on who we really are. At least that’s the way it’s working for me. It might be different for you but in any event…enjoy your search for love, and have a great day.