Ask Sam letter

To Sam21 January 2013

my freind might kill himself

my good freind has had a bad life, he's lost his mum and dad, people ridicule him for being gay and he talk really depressing things. he cuts himself and he says he not goin to around for very long, im really worried

Sam22 January 2013

Hello,

Thank you for writing to me - it seems like theres a lot going on in your friends life and I can hear that you are very concerned about him. It sounds like your friend feels able to talk to you - by being there to listen you are already supporting him. It can be upsetting to see a friend feeling low, so its important that you also feel supported. If youd like to talk more about how youre feeling you could speak to a ChildLine counsellor about that.

Im concerned that you feel worried about your friend killing himself. Im wondering what you think your friend means when he says that he wont be around for much longer. How would it feel to ask him to tell you more? Sometimes friends who feel this way want us to listen to them and this is their way of asking. Perhaps you could encourage your friend to contact ChildLine himself  either online or on the phone. ChildLine doesnt usually pass on the things young people tell us to anyone else, you can read more about our confidentiality policy here.

Youve spoken about things that worry you about your friends life  reading some of the information on our site may help you to understand what your friend is coping with. Perhaps you and your friend could have a look together? The Self-harm page includes information about what else may help when someone feels like cutting themselves. These pages contain helpful information around feelings and how to get help if someone is concerned about their self-harming or it makes them feel unwell.

There are also pages about coping when someone dies on our website. Another website with support for bereaved young people is rd4u which has a lads only section. It can be helpful when people we care about have so much going on that we help them decide what they want to talk about or deal with first.

Its wrong for anyone to insult or tease someone for being gay. If thats happening at school perhaps you could offer to talk to a teacher about what people are doing, or to go with your friend to do that. Treating someone badly because of their sexuality is homophobia, and you can read more about this on our sexual orientation page in explore.

Im really glad that you decided to get in touch. Remember if you feel you would like to talk more about anything thats happening you can do that online, or on the phone, or by sending a personal email to a counsellor.

Take care

Sam

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