A Dirt Bath Here, a Dirt Bath There, and a Couple of La Di Das.

lostinsuburbiablog

Thursday

Aug 29, 2013 at 5:06 PMAug 29, 2013 at 9:03 PM

When my kids were little, it often seemed that their purpose in life was to get as absolutely disgustingly dirty as was humanly possible. They achieved this in a number of ways ranging from slinging mud outside in our brook to decorating their faces with ketchup. As difficult as this was for a mother with OCD-type cleanliness issues to deal with, I let them have their dirt and eat it, too, because I knew at the end of the day they would end up having a date with Mr. Bubble and my world would be returned to its neat, orderly place again… or at least until the next day.

Eventually my kids got older, became teenagers, and dirt baths got replaced by hour long showers. I was, of course, overjoyed, except for the fact that they often used up all the hot water and I had to take cold showers. Still, having achieved clean kid nirvana, I thought I was done with dirt.

Clearly, I should have quit while I was ahead. But instead, I went ahead and got a dog.

A white dog.

That likes to dig holes.

Exhibit #1:

Living in a cold weather locale, we thought about how cute it would be to have a white dog romping in the white snow. But we neglected to think about how totally uncute it would be after the snow melted to have a white dog romping through the brown mud. And then said brown muddy dog would come into the house and get his brown muddy paws all over the floor and his brown muddy nose on the walls, the furniture, and me.

Exhibit #2:

Once we discovered our dog was a hole digger, we thought the best way to circumvent the mud tsunami was to make sure we kept an eye on him whenever he went out back. While this was good in theory, often times I would have to abandon the dog for a minute to deal with an immediate teenager emergency such as a loss of text messaging capabilities, and in the seconds that I turned my back, the dog would get another mud treatment.

Exhibit #3:

After many attempts to keep the dog out of the mud, we realized it was a futile effort. But fortunately, we discovered a surefire way to at least deal with the mud before it made it’s way into the house.

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When my kids were little, it often seemed that their purpose in life was to get as absolutely disgustingly dirty as was humanly possible. They achieved this in a number of ways ranging from slinging mud outside in our brook to decorating their faces with ketchup. As difficult as this was for a mother with OCD-type cleanliness issues to deal with, I let them have their dirt and eat it, too, because I knew at the end of the day they would end up having a date with Mr. Bubble and my world would be returned to its neat, orderly place again… or at least until the next day.

Eventually my kids got older, became teenagers, and dirt baths got replaced by hour long showers. I was, of course, overjoyed, except for the fact that they often used up all the hot water and I had to take cold showers. Still, having achieved clean kid nirvana, I thought I was done with dirt.

Clearly, I should have quit while I was ahead. But instead, I went ahead and got a dog.

A white dog.

That likes to dig holes.

Exhibit #1:

Living in a cold weather locale, we thought about how cute it would be to have a white dog romping in the white snow. But we neglected to think about how totally uncute it would be after the snow melted to have a white dog romping through the brown mud. And then said brown muddy dog would come into the house and get his brown muddy paws all over the floor and his brown muddy nose on the walls, the furniture, and me.

Exhibit #2:

Once we discovered our dog was a hole digger, we thought the best way to circumvent the mud tsunami was to make sure we kept an eye on him whenever he went out back. While this was good in theory, often times I would have to abandon the dog for a minute to deal with an immediate teenager emergency such as a loss of text messaging capabilities, and in the seconds that I turned my back, the dog would get another mud treatment.

Exhibit #3:

After many attempts to keep the dog out of the mud, we realized it was a futile effort. But fortunately, we discovered a surefire way to at least deal with the mud before it made it’s way into the house.

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