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8 Reasons This Bride Gained Weight

At this point, my wedding dress is 20 lbs in the past. No, I didn’t lose weight for the wedding because I planned the wedding in 3 weeks. Things have just changed and I don’t know that I could have anticipated how those changes would affect me!

I think we have all been critical of someone who “got fat” after marriage, but it’s not as simple as letting oneself go because they don’t have to try anymore– there’s so much more to it, and I get it. I’m that person right now, but the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. Here is my admittance.

I learned how to cook.
Before marriage, I could basically just make roast chicken and other remedial
Mmm, Shepherd’s Pie

dishes. I ate a lot of rotisserie chicken and steamed vegetables because it was quick and cheap. I now make real, full, “delicious” meals. Since I don’t have a job, feeding my husband is something I take pride in. I think my soldier husband deserves better than a bland chicken breast and broccoli. I have not improved with the chicken breast, sad to say.

Lunch Dates
I rarely ate out for lunch when I was working because paying for lunch for no good reason is a waste to me. When I was single, I basically grabbed whatever
It seems like we will order any fries with cheese on them.

steamed vegetables I had in the fridge and threw in some rotisserie chicken and ran off to work. I definitely wasn’t having lasagna and garlic bread, which is what I fed Spencer (and myself) today… He comes home for lunch every day and usually has something good to eat from said improved cooking, and we usually eat together.
In addition, when we go out to eat, it’s a date. (I would not admit that to my husband.) This means I’m not ordering salad since it’s a meaningful occasion.

Peer Pressure
My husband was previously a personal trainer, so he’s a person with self-control. My self-control used to be just not bringing things into my house. Living with another person means living with another person’s food preferences, and carbohydrates.
Duck Donuts

There’s also the fact that I used to be the only influence in what I ate, but now if my husband wants to stop by Krispy Kreme on the way to church, you know I’m having at least one, even if I wasn’t even thinking about donuts before we got to the store.

Unconditional Love and Acceptance
This one’s a B. Because my husband is actually a good person, he isn’t critical of my appearance. As a result, having everything tight is less of a priority to me. Even though I’ve gained 20 lbs, he thinks I look great. I actually asked him to shame me for my food choices; no luck there.

Lack of Social Parameters
I was the only Exercise Specialist at my last job, which meant people were always talking to me about fitness and commenting on what I ate at gatherings. It also meant, that I generally tried to eat better than them out of principle. As a rule I declined to eat carbs in public, but now there is no public for me. Just me having breakfast, lunch, and dinner in front of the T.V. at my own house.

Decrease in Work-Related Physical Activity
I used to teach bootcamp Monday mornings at 6 am, Zumba on Wednesdays, and two personal training clients, which involved some physical activity with the demonstrations.
My last Zumba class

At this point, some days I don’t even leave the house. I would estimate our half of this duplex is a little more than 100 square feet, so I probably used to get more steps in walking from my car to my office and back than I do in the course of a day at home. Basically, on physical activity alone, I’m miles behind where I was back in St. Louis.

Snacks
Since I didn’t (and don’t like grocery shopping), I never used to have a lot of snacks in my house. If I wanted something fattening, I had to go to the store for that specific treat. Since I’m obsessed with making my husband happy, I try to keep the pantry stocked with things he would like, and then while I’m at it, things I would like…

Bae = Before All Exercise
There has been not a time or two that I traded in my workout for time sitting and watching Shark Tank with my husband. It doesn’t happen as much since I am unemployed at the moment, but our quality time influences me at the gym. It took a full 6 weeks before I could get to Crossfit on Saturdays at 10 because I was reluctant to give up hanging out in bed.
How could I leave???

There were also times when I was working that I had to skip the gym in order to take care of dinner. I didn’t have a job long enough to really choreograph my husband making good meals so that I didn’t have to worry about this. He helped out sometimes, but I don’t know if I would call it “cooking.”

I want to note that in Spring of 2013 I made a post on my old blog about struggling to lose weight. Several people suggested I had an eating disorder. I didn’t then and I do not now. Sometimes, we just want to eat an original glazed AND an apple fritter more than we want to wear a crop top. I accept that this will not be the last time I gain or lose weight. One thing I believe I have done right is not get this “problem” out of perspective. I weigh more and I’m slower at the gym, but I have not been happier in my adult life. I am losing weight now because I need to have a healthy lifestyle, but being “fat and happy,” or “fappy” as Channing Tatum calls it, was good for my health, too.
In May, in a fit of delirium, I joined a Crossfit Gym. I go there 5 days a week, and I have also broken down and started counting calories with Myfitnesspal. Tracking my diet is what has enabled me to see that I’ve been eating like a clown. I would recommend the practice to anyone else wondering why they weigh more than they ever have each time they step on a scale.

Dependent + (becoming) the Size of a Hippo= Dependoppotamus

The dreaded Dependopotamus, or– more dangerous– the Dependosaurus, has been known to exist in military households around the country. This is the name given for a woman who has succumbed to consuming BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) and food at such a rate that she has lost her feminine shape and appeal; presumably, she -or he- doesn’t do much around the house. After my 20-pound weight gain in this short 10 months, I have some empathy toward these women. I can’t imagine what having kids would have done to my calorie count. But while I can relate to these women, the Dependasaurus is my personal Indominus Rex. The only animal I want to be likened to is a fox.

How did your weight change after your wedding??? Or after you started a completely different job? I know I’m not the only one in this!

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12 thoughts on “8 Reasons This Bride Gained Weight”

Hey girl, you are not alone! As a fellow military spouse, I have heard the dependosaurus many times… but dependopppotamus is a new one and it made me laugh 😀 After my wedding my weight went up, up, up… and my husband’s did too, for a lot of the same reasons you mentioned. We also PCSed at this time, so it was much easier to just grab takeout/ something on the go for a few weeks- you know how that goes! I became a BB coach (we don’t have to pay any of the fees since we’re military spouses-woo!) and got really into Insanity and Max 30. I’ve even got the hubs eating clean (well, mostly ;))

Whoa! BeachBody for free??? That’s awesome! Max 30 is a new one for me. Did Insanity a couple years ago. I’m glad you didn’t let Dependosaurusness become your reality >.< lol
I haven't commented on my husband's weight but I know that if I change, he'll change… without knowing it lol

I’m sorry if i misspoke- I meant being a coach is free 🙂 There’s usually signup fees/ website maintenance fees associated with coaching, but they’re wiped away for military families 😀 It’s awesome that you’re leading by example… it’s really the only way!

Don’t worry, you were clear about it being free for coaches! I just think it’s really cool that they have any sort of benefit for us. They must know how fat we can get 😉
Thanks! I’m excited to get to know you and your blog. The layout is really great.

Hahahahahahaha they must know how fat we can get- I LOVE it, lolol! It is super cool that they do that- I wouldn’t have become a coach without it! I’m so excited to get to know you too- we girls have to stick together! ❤ Thank you so much for the kind words about my blog!

#3 and #4 are the worst! Ryan eats cookies every single day and packs our pantry with sweets. Then after I stuff my face with sugar and follow it up with a good cry about my weight gain, he tells me I’m beautiful. He doesn’t think I need to lose weight at all, but I really want him to tell me I’m getting a spare tire haha.

I love your summary! I just figured out how to access the comments lol I love how you have a “Bri” Filter. This isn’t the first time you have noted something that was “such a Bri thing to say.” Love your handle/name

Bri, you are so honest and real! Your priorities have changed, and your life is richer now, in so many ways. I know health and fitness are import to you, so things will start to balance out. Having a hubby who loves and accepts you is a wonderful blessing. Steve has loved me through thick and thin several times!

My advice would be, keep cooking! But, start experimenting with recipes that are whole foods, or generally healthier. That’s what I’ve had to do bc the whole family has to eat, and it doesn’t hurt them to eat well. Some of their current favorite dishes are some of the healthiest I make!