Former vice president Dick Cheney took a break from feasting on his Mother's Day breakfast of Crisco porridge and deep-fried chrysanthemums to appear on television and call for the reinstatement of waterboarding, one of America's most popular intelligence-gathering techniques.

Sounding congested (allergies? some stray petals caught in his throat?), Cheney appeared on Fox News Sunday to talk about how the Bush administration went through "a lot of trouble" to find out how far they could push the limits of the law and develop "enhanced interrogation," which was not torture. Once again: NOT TORTURE. So just cut it out with that "waterboarding is torture" talk, Leon Panetta, whoever you are.

Though he hates most things the "Obama people" do, Cheney does give the president "high marks" for the Osama bin Laden raid — made possible by waterboarding. Does he wish he could have shot bin Laden in the head himself, like how he did to that guy in Texas that one time (it was an accident!)? Chris Wallace didn't ask, so you'll have to draw your own conclusions.

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In other Cheney news, he's writing a book, going fishing soon, and still not sure about whether to get a heart transplant. A day in the life.