The peak of Volcan Baru, western Panama’s dormant volcano, loomed majestically out of the clouds in the early dawn as I pulled a card from my friend Donna Rosado’s bowl of affirmations. It said, “Allow yourself to grieve.”

Yes, I was certainly here to grieve. Despite all my efforts to complete a beautiful home midst mountains, waterfalls, and rainbows, the house sat unfinished and rotting. I had suffered verbal abuse, defamation, evictions, robberies, and floods. The final straw had been robbers in my back yard on Christmas night 2009.

Shelley Darling, www.goldenlightdowsing.com, had dowsed a plan of the property before I left the States for Panama. She immediately noted that the plan was missing its relationship corner. “Have you been having challenges with relationships recently?” she asked. I sure had – over and over and over.

Through dowsing, Shelley had discovered two negative vortexes (one minor, one major) and five geopathic stress lines. She plotted these carefully on the property plan and sent me off with nine copper rods to place in the ground to redirect the negative energies. “Make sure you don’t pack them in your carry-on luggage,” she cautioned. “TSA will confiscate them.”

Before I left, as Shelley and I visualized, some interesting symbols appeared. Simultaneously, Shelley and I saw an American Indian chief with a full headdress of feathers. This made no sense in the context of Panama. Shelley explained that he was “White Eagle”, a spirit guide who would support us through challenges. I also saw a figure in a fetal position.

Later, Shelley emailed me that she had intuited there was a female spirit on the property – a woman who had transitioned – who did not want to leave. That didn’t make sense either. The only woman I could think of who didn’t want to leave was the female owner of the construction company. One of the visualization exercises we did was intended to open a portal so that trapped negative energies could ascend to their proper places in the Universe.

Steven Northcraft*, another friend and healer, had told me to buy four pink quartz crystals and sage. Donna loaned me her own dowsing rods to help me check the positioning of the copper rods Shelley had given me. On the morning I left to do the healing work, Donna, a Usui Reiki Master and a Karuna Reiki Master, used a pendulum to clear spirit entities, lesser demons, giant demons, shape-shifting giant demons, fallen angels, and dark ETs from me, the property, my corporation, the developers, the builders, and anyone connected in any way with the property.** Luke Andrews, my young American friend, was there to help bury rods and hold the space for healing.

I spent the first day working on the minor negative vortex. Beginning with the visualization exercise Shelley had taught me, I visualized white, blue, rose, and purple lights supporting both me and the property, and finally a golden dome covering everything. I soon discovered I needed clarification as to how to place the rods. I was still learning how to use Donna’s dowsing rods, but I developed a tentative placement.

The next day, I pulled the “Moving Forward” affirmation card. It certainly didn’t feel as if we were moving forward. I had been blocked over and over in my attempts to build this home. I had also forgotten to bring Shelley’s compass with me. As a result, I could only estimate the placement of the rods in the minor negative vortex. Luke was there to hammer a 10” deep hole in each corner of the property in which, once we had completed the dowsing, we would place the rose quartz crystals symbolizing love. We positioned the hole in the missing relationship corner outside the property line to heal the missing relationship piece.

The third day, I pulled the “Push for Change” card from Donna’s bowl. This made no sense either until one of the development security guards swaggered onto the rear of my property where Luke was hammering trenches in which to place copper rods. Accusingly, the guard demanded, “What do you think you are you doing?” (Note: this was on property I owned on which he was trespassing.) In Spanish, with gentleness and firmness, I explained that we needed silence and respect for the property. When he continued to ask questions, I simply looked him directly in the eye and repeated that we were requesting his silence and respect for the property, a sacred space and sanctuary. After several moments of indecision, he turned and walked away. Shelley had told me that once the healing began, negative energies would leave the property.

Finally, we had completed all the dowsing except for the major negative vortex. Shelley had said this was in an enclosed storage area under the stairwell and directed me to visualize the dowsing ascension ring and portal in the middle of that space.

The energies in the storage area were intense. The dowsing rods were flying chaotically around. As Luke hammered the concrete, there was a deep ringing sound that seemed to extend to the bowels of the earth.

As I invited the trapped entities to ascend through the portal, I suddenly made the connection between the figure in the fetal position and the woman who did not want to leave. That woman had lost her child on the property and would not leave without her baby. Tears streaming down my face, I invited the woman to cradle her dead child in her arms, ascend through the portal, and release both of them to their rightful place in the Universe.

Then suddenly, I was that woman. The figures in the fetal positions were my own sons, wounded through their parents’ divorce and struggling through the dynamics of their own marriages. Gently, I cradled each one in my arms, carried him through the portal, and released him to his proper place in the Universe. My tears would not stop flowing as my own intense pain began to dissolve.

Simultaneously, I was releasing myself from my attachment to a dream that would never be, despite my pure intentions and dedicated effort. It was time to move on. Was I also the figure in the fetal position, waiting to be born to my purpose on this planet?

The only thing left to do was to place the rose quartz crystals in the holes Luke had dug the day before, cover them with dirt, and sage the perimeter of the property. Then, we prayed for rain – to cleanse everything and to obliterate the traces of our work.

As the raindrops fell, a beautiful rainbow appeared over the healed relationship corner. A white falcon was sitting at the top of the tree. As we drove away, I knew I would never return.

The next day, I pulled my final card from Donna’s bowl: “Completion.” I knew my work at Los Molinos was done.

Dr. Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information, see www.wordsculptures.com, www.janetsmithwarfield.com, and www.wordsculpturespublishing.com.

* Steven Northcraft is organizing a Crystal Healing workshop with Mika Nelson on Saturday, March 1st. For more information, please contact Steven directly. His Facebook link is https://www.facebook.com/kentsteven.northcraft.

** Donna Rosado has asked that I include the following information about her work. The reference that she used for this type of work was Adversaries Walk Among Us: A Guide to the Origin, Nature, and Removal of Demons and Spirits, by John G. Livingston. She also personally used various Reiki techniques and energy work for the protection of all individuals (including herself as she did the work) and the spiritual and emotional healing of all people, property (anything living including the earth and land has its own energy and energies bodies) and other beings involved with this issue (this included all individuals that participated in or contributed to any form to bring about this total issue). Donna always asks for permission from people’s spirit guides if she is unable to ask them personally or sends healing energy to those individuals, asking that they receive this energy for their highest good. All work is done from her heart center of unconditional love.

While a few men know how to court a woman, far too many men see women as a one time conquest that simply increases their bonding ability and respect from other men. “Score!”

A man can always walk away after satisfying his sexual need. A woman who becomes pregnant never can. She then carries the full responsibility for nurturing the child, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and often with an added societal burden of judgment and blame and the consequential internal feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem.

A man who fully respects a woman and wants her to bear his seed and provide him with offspring, makes a commitment to protect and provide for her so that together they can nurture, guide, rear, and protect their children. Without a protector and provider, the woman simply cannot do her own job well. She needs a very safe and physically comfortable nest in which to rear their offspring.

Is it this same almost uncontrollable biological sex drive that drives married men like President Kennedy, President Clinton, and General Petreaus to become sexually involved with women other than their wives? The man sees no harm in what he is doing. He may see it as a one-time fling or simply an affair. My friend commented that every woman with whom he had ever had sex was an angel.

The male involved in an extramarital affair still loves the mother of his children and takes for granted that she will always be there for him – to cook, clean, wash his socks and babysit the children. But his wife knows at a deep gut level about his affair. His involvement with the other woman changes his energy and therefore changes the energy of the marital relationship. His mind is elsewhere. He is less attentive to wife and children. He is less present in the relationship. While the man’s involvement with the other woman may transform and expand him personally, it simultaneously destroys (impurifies, adulterates, ruins) the energy of the original male/female relationship on which the health of the entire family depends.

Once the children have grown up and left home, the woman has lost 25 years of her life that otherwise might have been spent developing financial skills, building assets, and expanding business acumen. Her only skills are cooking, cleaning, gardening, and babysitting. By that time her husband may have developed a fabulous career, be making lots of money, traveling around the world, and associating with many more interesting people. If his sexual drive then pulls him into the arms of a fascinating woman from whose sexual charms and magnetism he cannot release himself, his wife will go through denial, disbelief, emotional anguish, loss of trust, rage, and ultimately, she’ll leave – forever. Then she’ll sue him for as much money as she can get. Faced with the challenge of reconstructing her life, she must make a living in a world where women are financially disadvantaged, heal her feelings of low self-esteem, victimhood, rage, being used, not being respected and appreciated, and her total distrust of men.

If the male and female biological differences are real and the needs very different, how do we consciously reconcile them? Or don’t we?

One more time, the archetypal pattern of the extramarital affair has reared its ugly head. Former CIA Chief General David Petraeus, became involved in an affair with his biographer, Army Reserve officer Paula Broadwell. Then Jill Kelley, a Tampa socialite, who apparently had also been flirting with Petraeus, began getting anonymous, threatening letters telling her to stay away from him. Kelley complained to a friend who was an FBI agent. The ripples spread throughout the highest echelons of the FBI and CIA as fears arose that the internal security of the United States had been breached. Emotions ranged from fear to pain to rage to guilt to betrayal to loss of trust. The story is as old as history.

Isn’t it time men and women together started looking honestly and transparently at this recurring pattern? Why does it happen, over and over, to the pain and detriment of wives, husbands, children, families, communities, nations, and the world? Isn’t it time to put this dynamic into the center of a compassionate, safe, thoughtful circle and share our experiences and grief in order to understand the biological and energetic differences between men and women, our differing needs, and the conditioned, historical, societal dynamics that have betrayed and devalued us all?

Recently, I had a conversation with a conscious male friend about the almost uncontrollable biological sex drive young males experience as they approach adulthood. They think about sex at least 50% of the time. They have sex whenever they have the opportunity. They are always looking for opportunity.

This sex drive creates a very territorial, competitive way of interacting with other males. They heckle one another, make fun of one another, verbally abuse one another, and ostracize those who don’t play the game. The jousting, whether conscious or unconscious, is a fight for a steady sexual supply. Women and children become objects, prey, and victims.

Tears flowing, my friend said, “It is so lonely. Women have a sorority based on communication, understanding, collaboration, cooperation, and compassion. Men don’t have a fraternity. The sexual drive forces them to stand alone and fight for power and control.”

Young women rarely think about sex unless they need to offer it as a temporary way to increase their self-esteem or sometimes, as their only way to eat. If they are more fortunate and have higher self-esteem, they wait to be courted by a conscious, respectful, masterful male. He buys them flowers, tells them how beautiful they are, treats them to excellent dinners in fine restaurants, and learns the skills of lovemaking so that the woman desires sexual union as much as the man. It takes money to be able to court a woman. Money is sexual power.

Individual, competing males may ultimately learn to respect the skills and expertise of other males, bond together as a football team, and together compete against other groups of males, (football teams, businesses, nation states, street gangs). The fraternity they form is still based on territory, competition and power. The ultimate need is sexual supply. The bonding far too often takes the form of gang rape, torture, war, and other physical violence.

Are we asking the wrong question when we ask, “Does evil really exist?”

What if we change the question to: “What does the word “evil” mean to me in this particular experiential context?”

Envision a mother, bound and gagged, forced to watch a brutal gang rape of her beautiful ten-year old daughter. The mother’s and daughter’s physical and emotional pain has to be nothing short of excruciating.

If I were in the shoes of either, it would be easy to label the rapists “cruel”, “brutal”, “uncaring”, and even “evil”. From the rapists’ perspective, they are probably simply showing off their sexual prowess and engaging in male camaraderie. But at what cost to the mother and daughter?

If you’ve never spoken with a woman who has been brutally raped, you have no idea what shame, guilt and anguish she experiences or the years it takes her to heal. If she’s fortunate, her shame, guilt and anguish will eventually turn to rage and outrage, and yes, this rage and outrage may initially be directed at the rapists. Temporarily, she may need to label these men “evil” in order to find the courage to step into her own passion, power and purpose. What will that passion, power and purpose be? To protect herself and all other women on this planet from this type of life-shattering experience and stand firm in her own core respect for and appreciation of herself and all other women.

Can a relationship work when there is spiritual disparity in understanding and no communication?

That is such a tough question. It has many ramifications. Let’s see if we can break it down.

At what level do you want your relationships to “work”?

A car with a bad muffler “works” in the sense that it runs, but it doesn’t “work” as well as a car with a good muffler.

A relationship with spiritual disparity may “work” on some levels.

For example, perhaps the partners have children together. Both love their children and are working together to support them. The man earns money to pay the mortgage and buy food. The woman cooks, cleans, washes dirty diapers, and educates the children. Neither is abusive, so on the physical level, the relationship “works.” This is a “working” that is not to be discounted.

However, on other levels, the relationship isn’t working. In the sexual area, the man wants an orgasm. The woman is frigid because her needs for mental and emotional communication aren’t met. The man spends his free time with male friends, bragging about how many orgasms he had in a single night. The woman feels deserted and relegated to the role of a convenient babysitter, cook, and cleaning lady.

Perhaps the woman tries to express her feelings and needs to the man. He never learned how to deal with emotions so he doesn’t know what to do with them. After all, he’s been taught that real men don’t cry, right? God forbid that his buddies should find out he’s a weakling. Better to avoid the subject altogether, crack a joke, and move on to an area where he’s comfortable and doesn’t have to look at what he doesn’t understand and doesn’t know how to deal with.

So what does the partner with the more expanded spiritual consciousness do? Not an easy choice. The answer is entirely individual. I can promise it means you have to change.

The change you make in yourself will affect both your partner and your relationship. Will the relationship hold together? I don’t know. It will either become stronger and more satisfactory to both partners or there will be too much of a disparity and the partners will go separate ways.

Regardless of what happens to the relationship, I can promise that you will become stronger and wiser in the process and will expand your own spiritual consciousness.

In discussing Esther Hicks (Abraham) and Jane Roberts (Seth), a friend commented, “Interesting that the woman of the couple is the one doing the channeling in both cases.”

I was just reading that women, physically, have a much broader connective tissue between the left and right hemispheres of their brains. I do think the feminine energy (right brain) tends to be more intuitive, wholistic, and open to finding harmonious and integrative solutions. The male energy (left brain) tends to be linear and goal-oriented. I believe it is simply not possible to experience spiritual centeredness using left brain tools. While useful in simplifying experiential data, focusing our attention on certain aspects of it, and allowing us to manipulate it, these left brain tools are human-created and fallible. This does not mean that left brain tools can’t catalyze spiritual centeredness. They can, when used one-on-one creatively.