Sign interpretation

Being generally skeptical, I tend not to believe things as they’re told to me. So when I see a sign, I like to evaluate the situation for myself to determine its real meaning. Here, you can benefit from my cavalier disregard towards bossy signage. These are a few signs I’ve seen recently (followed by their translations):

“There are awesome views here, but ah, don’t go too close to the edge there.”

“There may be dead people over here, watch out if you’re wearing nice shoes.” Although, since it looks a bit aged, the message may really be “We want it to seem like hopping this fence is a particularly naughty thing to do.”

“Area closed because we don’t want to get sued if you trip on stuff.”

“Look, we really don’t want to send the helicopters and the coast guard after you. Can’t you just go to the pool?”

“People PARTY HERE!! WOOOOOOOOOO! Come back around midnight for the rager of your life!”