Lurch

Amidst Jason “Lurch” Bishop continuing his ongoing struggle to find the meaning of life, he made the shocking revelation that he’s considering adding a dog to his family. Now he needs your help weeding out the crap dogs, from the one that will finally bring him happiness.

The Junkies brought back an age-old classic – “Bet on Bret” – re-branded with new blood as “Bet on Ewadd.” The game took on a familiar feel because these two men share the same lack of knowledge for things that are common to everyone else. Yoko Ono.

The Junkies are all about embracing new technologies early, which makes Vine the perfect social media device for JP to get leveled with an open-palm slap to the face on Tuesday, fulfilling the wishes of thousands who’ve suffered his sniveling for years.

JP has disgusting, deformed toes and honestly needs to consider never exposing them to the world again, like he did on the show Tuesday morning. It was one of the most gut-wrenching things anyone’s ever heard, so you should probably read about it.

EB unburdened himself of a disturbing recurring dream in which he detaches his ‘junk’, then rolls it up like PLAY-DOH and plays with it. After being ridiculed by the guys for being capable of such a disturbing thought, they entertained an even better thought: What if guys really could remove their ‘junk’?

It should come as no surprise to Junkies listeners that the four donks from P.G. County are getting up there. So when they were asked to name which movie Neo, Morpheus and Agent Smith were in, what do you think happened? It’s only one of the biggest box office smashes of all-time…