Monday, April 26, 2010

Dinosaurian Nightmare

Before he slept last night he opened the T.V. to see women wearing black crying because their young sons had just died at the evening before in Baghdad while spending their time in their quarter playing billiard and dreaming about finding a job. A scene that lasted few seconds. The other channel shows three Iraqi politicians arguing.

The program presenter asked the first politician to show us what he got. The politician leaned under the table, and from between his feet he held up a huge mass of mud which seemed very heavy and put it in front of him on the table causing a huge sound that none of the other politicians seemed to care for.

The program presenter asked startled: “what is this?”

The politician, and after a moment of silence and of sad sacred looking at his huge mass of wet mud, took both his hands and silently pointed to the mass by both his hands.

The program presenter started sweating and decided to ask the second politician as a temporary resolution for this muddling: “sir, what about you, what you got for us?”The second politician who is extraordinarily obese took a sparkling trombone from his pocket and played something. “What was that sir?” the presenter asked and the answer came: “Lassus Trombone by Fillmore.”

While the presenter tongue had been tied for a moment the Trombone politician added with nerves: “every Iraqi should learn to play Trombone, or else he or she, or them collectively, are non-patriotic appendixes that should, and I said it again with my full mouth, SHOULD be amputated”.

The presenter turned in a hurry to the third politician and said: “You sir?”The third started by a smile that was long and fixated on each of the other politician for a good time. Enough time to draw the most screaming sarcastic expressions on their faces to his smile, which seemed as if a smile of somebody who knows everything and looking at children and smiling to their misdeeds and innocence.

“I, and I alone, By My Self, made particular spectacular excavation” the third started talking while erecting his right index finger very rigidly and narrowing his eyes “… an excavation that had been unbelievably miraculous and prophetic with the aid of Allah, I, Iiiiii” and his shout of that continuous "I" started to increase in tone and intensity while veins started to appear on his forehead and he was still shouting his miraculous "I" while his right index finger started to grow up and up… his continuous scream started to shiver and wane while he was losing his breath ….his face turned into blue, in 2 minutes he became out of breath and stopped his "I"s while the reporter turned to the first politician again.

“You” the reporter said then added “siR”. The first politician with his huge piece of mud in front of him leaned again below the table and with huge effort he held up another huge WMM “Wet Mud Mass” and put it above the first and sat behind them. He now doesn’t anymore visible.

“You” said the reporter while looking on the second then add “siRR”. The second said: “I got new mobile phone ringtones for the Iraqi people, all of them are new and unheard before but I will keep them as a secret poker paper to use it when I feel that Iraq is threatened”…. And while the reporter’s lower jaw hanged down the second added: “… our plan is that every Iraqi got more than thirty three mobile phones all synchronized with each other and all ring at the same time with different tones so that they resemble the FUSAYFISA’A (=diversity) of the Iraq”.

“You” said the reporter to the third and add “..siRRR”. The third said with his elongated right index finger while his breath had came back to him: “…. and after all those yeaaaars my deaaaars… I…. I made myyy discovery after all those excavations” he put his hand in his pocket and drew a matchbox made in Pakistan and lit one stick with fire, looked at it, put it near the camera to show it to the people, then blew it off. “What was that sir?” the reporter asked. The third answered: “an original Iraqi dinosaur”.

It was midnight. The old man shut down the T.V. and shut the lights of his room. He went to bed. He put his head in his pillow and started trying to wake up from his nightmare. After few failed trials, he finally passed into deep awakening.