I was walking my dog over the park and just as i said hello to a group of people i slipped and did that funny half run half fall over thing that seems to last forever with your one hand stuck out to grab an imaginary wall ,it actually looked like i had broke into some kind of lurching hunchback jog. i tried to turn it into one of those jogging at walking speed things to try and save face and just fell flat on my face :) this happened this morning and i am still mortified with shame :)

This is so hilarious!

_________________"I rebuke this thread in the name of Jesus." -Jagadeesh

I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and they were giving out small cups of coffee as a part of a demo for those hell-sent single serving coffee machines. I got my trashy coffee (hazlenut, bisques) and was headed up to the registers to pay for my Brookstone memory foam pillow (20% off coupon! what! what!) and somehow during this 10 second journey the lid popped off my cup and some of the scalding hot liquid began spilling on the front of my dress. So naturally, I started shrieking and threw the cup away from myself, and it spilled allllllll over the floor. It was like a 1 yard x 1 yard spill diameter. Some of the coffee burned the shiitake out of a good portion my wrist, and in the aftermath I stood there like a moron with a lot of people staring at me. I assume they were probably judging me for getting hazlenut coffee (this is San Francisco we're talking about), and not so much for the screaming and throwing of cups.

last night I was at a party with my friends and some people I don't know, at our friend Chris' house. Someone asked where Other Chris was, which is what we usually call whichever Chris is not present at the time. Someone else commented that he probably doesn't like being called Other Chris, and in the course of that discussion, not thinking before I spoke, I announced, loudly, "Well, if he showed up, we wouldn't have to call him Other Chris, then we would call him Chris Who Comes". And everyone's eyes got big and they started trying to not spit out their drinks with laughter. It took me a good bit to get it, too. Awkward.

_________________sometimes, I see a really cute woman and I'm so excited I poop myself ~ Olives

Aw, thanks! Most of the burn was just first degree, and there are only a few small spots worse than that. It's only a little sore today.

Yesterday evening, wyvern and I went out for Indian food and as I was trying to put some of his channa masala on my plate to try it, I instead dumped the whole (really hot) dish all over my lap. It forking burned at the time, but luckily this morning there seems to be no lasting damage except to my pants.

Between that and the fact that my period came 5-10 days early this month, I think I'm going to only ever wear black pants from now on. God damn.

I told you, if you wanted to have a food fight then you should have thrown the food at someone else, not yourself. You got a pair of my pants to change into and my belt though! That was your plan all along anyway.

My most embarrassing moment? Getting pulled over in a taxi cab, the first time in a taxi no less! Awkward...

_________________Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. - Einstein.

So earlier today me and the girlfriend went to get some Indian food at this really cheap little cafe place in town that does many vegan friendly curries and cakes and stuff. So we're getting off the (London underground) train and exiting the station fairly hurriedly as we're both starving and excited at the prospect of such amazing culinary delights. She gets on the escalator in front of me and I opt at the last second for the good old fashioned staircase, as even though I'll have to work twice as hard just to keep up with the gf steadily walking up an escalator, I'm going to earn the right to stuff my face with curries and cake... I glanced across to say something in time to catch her tripping up the escalator in all the haste, getting up and nervously laughing, turning around assuming I'm directly behind her and wondering what the hell is going on. She's confused I'm not there, so I call across if she's ok and I'm totally concentrating on her now and so I trip up and land on my hands and knees on the staircase. Got up and carried on straight away and we both started laughing, but I tell you it was painfully embarrassing inside. We must have looked like such a special couple to all those witnesses.

_________________"Gee, that's interesting. I guess you can be intellectually gifted and still be morally bankrupt." - Daria Morgendorffer

So earlier today me and the girlfriend went to get some Indian food at this really cheap little cafe place in town that does many vegan friendly curries and cakes and stuff. So we're getting off the (London underground) train and exiting the station fairly hurriedly as we're both starving and excited at the prospect of such amazing culinary delights. She gets on the escalator in front of me and I opt at the last second for the good old fashioned staircase, as even though I'll have to work twice as hard just to keep up with the gf steadily walking up an escalator, I'm going to earn the right to stuff my face with curries and cake... I glanced across to say something in time to catch her tripping up the escalator in all the haste, getting up and nervously laughing, turning around assuming I'm directly behind her and wondering what the hell is going on. She's confused I'm not there, so I call across if she's ok and I'm totally concentrating on her now and so I trip up and land on my hands and knees on the staircase. Got up and carried on straight away and we both started laughing, but I tell you it was painfully embarrassing inside. We must have looked like such a special couple to all those witnesses.

This is my husband's story, but too funny not to share: We were walking around the city one night and my shoes were killing me, so we decided to take the subway one stop home to save some steps. It was the middle of the summer and the platform was crazy hot and we had to wait about 10 minutes for the train to show up. We finally got on board and were both holding the same pole. At some point, I shifted my hand to another pole, but my husband didn't notice. He moved his hand down to place it on what he assumed was my hand and said, "All this for five blocks." He looked down to see that he was holding the hand of a very scared little man. He jerked his hand away and as soon as we arrived at our stop, we both dashed off the train laughing uncontrollably. That poor guy!

ETA: This thread has me cracking up! Bravo, fellow awkward PPKers!

_________________"Also (in the slightly paraphrased words of Bernard Black): 'Cake, pie, it's an impossible choice. I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow blows up and kills me.'" - Gunk

This is also someone elses story but I have to share it. At the hospital when we got to the recovery room my boyfriend laid out my bra on the windowsil to dry because I had been wearing it in the tub. He got up from sitting in front of the window and went downstairs to the cafe to get some food and ran to the car to get the rest of our stuff. It wasn't till he got back that he turned with his back facing me and he had my bra hanging from his dreads. I laughed so hard I cried, like 5 times. In fact I am still laughing and it hurts to laugh. I still can't believe noone said anything to him because he said the cafe was packed.

If you mean Keurig, I have one and think it's great! You don't have to buy the disposable single serve coffee, it can be used with a permanent filter and fresh ground beans.

Actually that's not too terrible then. It's weird though, I went to this kitchen place once too and like Nebraskalaska they gave me a sample, I asked if you could use it without the little packets and they said no!

My roommate's got one and you can definitely grind your own preferred blend and use that. I used to make fun of them, but I've really grown to like it. I'm not sure I would purchase one for myself, though.

_________________My last Craigslist ad "Bangable Panda for You" got only a few responses and they all just said 'send pic' or 'black and white or red?' - pandacookieI don't want anyone here who doesn't know every forking line to Willy Wonka. - Fee

I went to CVS on my lunch break to buy Junior Mints (important part of the story: I got em!) and as I was leaving the candy aisle, I bumped into a man slightly taller than me and said "Oh, excuse me sir, I'm sorry."

Mine is older, but Randi's reminded me of it. I was looking for vegan coats in Burlington Coat Factory, and saw a tall man standing looking at coats. Thinking it was my husband I walked over hugged him and felt him up. Needless to say it wasn't my husband.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

Mine is older, but Randi's reminded me of it. I was looking for vegan coats in Burlington Coat Factory, and saw a tall man standing looking at coats. Thinking it was my husband I walked over hugged him and felt him up. Needless to say it wasn't my husband.