This new Sclubbery 5 and 2 song has a good beat

When the void, makes you psychotic,
You may shoot at us, We'll rip off your wee *redacted*
With your reams, of cargoes bountiful,
You may fly away, but we will find you

Don't like that ship your flying,
We like to see you dying,
Don't you ever forget that
We've caught you you smelly ars, hole

Breach through their rears,
Explore their orrifices,
Breach til theres tears,
Don't stop til they are bleeding,
Breach then drink beers,
Killing is thirsty work and thems no lies,
Breach til brown tears run down their thighs.

The Story of the Story (aka Everything Trends Upward When You're At The Bottom)

Once again, our fearless writer sat down to face this week's Drabble challenge.

He stared at his screen, willing words to come out and tell a succinct - yet memorable - story, one that would help him win the poll and raise his status amongst his peers. How could he, in the most parsimonious fashion, convey what simple thoughts ran through his head? How could he hope to win this week if he couldn't even bring his words to the page in a meaningful way? HOW COULD HE WORD GOOD?

Silent auction.

The gnome knows kow,nodding knowingly at the gnu who knew kow too.The atmosphere was tense.There was nothing quite like the blind auction about to take place,and extraordinary measures had been taken to ensure that only the richest and most powerful could attend.Having been marrooned within the permit locked zone for some considerable time,the item they strove to acquire rocketed in price as they spat and shouted at each other.'Where's your bid,eh?' screamed Anna Condor triumphantly as she held aloft her prize,single sheet of Abbrakadrabble bog-roll fluttering in the breeze,thighs squelching.

Secret Vandal

Commander Kilroy's gastank was filled with a special concoction to extend his jumprange, he'd fitted a Guardian range-extender, and found a remote part of the galaxy where a neutron star gave access to a very distant cluster of stars that also contained another neutron supercharger for safe return.

He walked out his Asp onto the lonely moon. The sky was desolate of stars. Spraycans don't work here, and also their paints would soon bleach.

He drew a broken line in the moondust, filled the breaks with hands and an overhanging nose "KILROY WOZ ERE".

Out of the way

Most things were out of reach for Tommy, His shoelaces and willy for two.
But the latest thing that was out of reach were the controls to his ship
He'd previously managed to manuver the controls with his moobs
but now the fat rolls had started firing his shaft off at random intervals
He needed controls he could use and fly his anaconda better than ever
Winching him into the ship the cranes groaned in zero-g
He ran into the cockpit like cold custard being poured on to an apple pie
Tommy sharted
The ship splatted into the toast rack

Yay I won so erm I think I'll post my half of the topic if moof wants to add then I'll add...

I DON'T KNOW

1. Drabbles must be 100 words exactly (Excluding the title)
2. Over-use of-hyphens-to keep your word-count at 100 is very amusing but probably not a great idea.
3. Keep it as clean as you can to suit the family forum rules here, so no frogs attached to anatomical parts.
4. Only the first 20 entries are guaranteed a place in the (usually weekly) poll.
5. 1 entry each, you may write as many drabbles as you want, but it is assumed that your first drabble is your chosen entry unless otherwise advised. But please mark Drabbles that you don't want entered as such.
6. If your drabble is under or over 100 words you will have a chance to correct it before the poll is erected, at this point, your drabble may be DQ'd if other drabbles are available to take its place.
7. Drabbles must be set in the Elite Dangerous universe (as loosely as you care to make it).
8. It should try to meet the theme in some arguable way.
9. If there is more than one theme you must match at least one, but can gain extra votes if you meet more.
10. It's all for a bit of fun, so enjoy yourself... Enjoyment is mandatory!
11. If you win, you get to submit next week's Drabble topic, so make sure you post it by 3pm GMT Monday. Or else chaos will ensue and who knows what will happen...
12. You must big it up and get the Drabble Show over 100 viewers, that would be amazing.
13. Every winner can be the owner of up to 1 abrakadrabble mug.
14. No animals were harmed in the making of this series (Simoof is not an animal)
15. If we get over 25 entries, the potato will host it nude.*
16. The Title must also now be under 100 words (not including the title to the title)*
17. Extra points for Kow-tipping.*
18. Futuristic Kung Fu is not allowed to question the rules, change the rules or even know what the rules are.
19. Nick Kershaw is the real singer of 'Never Gonna Give You Up'

Sometimes it's difficult to know what constitutes exactly 100 words. Our arbiter iswww.wordcounter.net
It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong. Its count is the law.

So submit your drabbles in reply to this thread, and the first 20 will be guaranteed entry into this weeks poll, and read out on our live Show Friday night.
Entries close at Random O'clock on Thursday evening (or sometimes if we have 20 entries earlier). All Drabbles submitted up to Friday Afternoon will have a good chance of being read out on the live Drabble readiing show.

Hyperdiction and Murder Flowers (aka I Was There)

The Gnosis shook furiously, klaxons suddenly sounding all around. "This isn't right", she thought, as her ship slid around the docking bay. Without warning, the shaking stopped. She punched her comms. "Control, where are we?". No answer. Other ships started disembarking; she queued her own to take off. Her comm system roared with static, punctuated by screams and shouting. "Control, what the hell is going on out there?" Her ship moved to the head of the line; the bay doors opened and she saw the carnage unfold. "I'm sorry, Commander," the normally-calm voice was shaking, "I'm afraid I don't know."

Cleonymus eyed the engineer suspiciously.
"OK, it makes it go faster, but how much faster"
The engineer shrugged.
"Will it use my fuel up faster?"
Another shrug.
"OK what about capacity. Will it let me use more fuel per jump so I can go further?"
The engineer gave an embarrassed smile accompanied by another enigmatic shrug.
"You want a lot of stuff to do this, will it be worth it?"
Another shrug and a wave at the engineers table.
Cleonymus walked over to the table. On it were a set of FSD blueprints and 3 dice.
He rolled the dice.

My Dear, Find What You Love

Katherine's boyfriend looked on as she packed. "Why do you work as a war reporter? That's a dangerous job."

She kept her attention on the task in hand. Should she take this skirt? "I've always had a curious nature. I want to know things. This interview with the warlord ElGuerro is the opportunity of a lifetime."

"Are you sure you can fly safely through the blockade?"

"I don't know."

"How safe will you be in ElGuerro's camp?"

"I don't know."

"You could be killed."

Katherine slung some nylons into the suitcase before she paused to look at him. "I know."

Title: “Monologue”
By Fletch – Aged 7 and ¾ (nearly 8)
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I told yah – I don’t know... And I gave up caring ages ago! Why d’ya keep asking?
Some people said they knew, but never told.
It started as a joke, but just ain’t funny any more.
It stopped being interesting years ago. Bit like space legs, but what do I know, eh?
It coulda been a real person, or many people, like a secret society, but no-one cares these days.
Mug-Mug might still be alive, but he (or she, or “it”) is dead to me.
Then someone at the back of the bar shouts “MUG!” and I still giggle.

‘Where did these Flux-stains come from?’ yelled Davie from the lower bridge
The Asp Explorer ‘Sanctimonious’ pitched over as a thargoid scout flew past, battered their shields.
‘I don’t know!’ shouted back Mac as he fought the ship’s controls.
Alert lights and warning sirens blared from all around the ship.
‘How can they’re weapons get through the shields?’ Shrieked Mooka from the Engineering station.
‘I don’t know!’ repeated Mac. ‘But I’ll tell you what I do know!!’
He brought the scout into range of the new AX cannons. He fired. The Scout Blew up.
‘They don’t like it up ‘em.’