Why are we not more honest?

Missing in some of the replies to the linked post above: speaking the truth in love. Yes, I know Christians use it as an excuse to not speak the truth! But I have spoken the truth to someone without love and when I do so, they can’t seem to hear the truth or discount it. Someone spoke the truth to me this week and I appreciated it and grew as a result. We are in a small group with twenty somethings and in one with forty somethings. Twenty somethings win regarding honesty about life. Effective twelve step groups are grounded in honesty and I think that is what attracts me to them.

So, what keeps me from being completely honest with others?

I lack love for them

I am unwilling to walk with them to bring about change

I have not been invited to give them feedback

They may say they want to know the truth but their reactions show otherwise.