A working Daddee learning to cope in a big big world

I am sitting in the KLIA Express, gonna be boarding a plane ride to Melbourne in 2 hours (yes I am writing this on my iPhone).

Hot Mummee is already there; been there for a week already.

Caitlin and Grandma and Grandpa dropped me off at the train station. It’s a place that Caitlin is already familiar with. After all it was only in early December that we both took the same train and a flight to Adelaide for a weeks holiday.

But this time we are saying goodbye to each other. Me on this side of the gate, the one who is going away.

For days I have been telling her that it’s only 7 days, and each time she counts up to 7 on her tiny fingers “but it’s so looooong” bottom lip out. My analogy has been that it will pass as quick as the days between 2 Fridays; Fridays being the day they have swimming lessons at school. She does kinda take heed of that.

Moreover I also tell her that after her next Friday swim, “it will only be one more sleep before Daddee and Mummer will be home”.

I *am* sad. I know I will miss her. I already did while going down the escalator after waving goodbye. Because she does try to put up a front. I know she tries to be brave, and brave she is; else her emotion would overwhelm her and does cry.

But becaue I know this- I know her; that I know she *is* sad. Deep down.

I would say that in planning for this event, my niece has had her first taste in project (event?) managing and executing a pretty major event, even if it’s only a family affair.

And being the cheeky uncle that I am, during times of emailing and IM-ing with her I pressured her highlighting things like “Are we on schedule?”, “You do realise that it’s now only seven days till the event”, when we (she) still hadn’t settled on which doorgifts would be best for the occassion / guests, let alone allowing time for the suppliers to come back with a quote and also getting them made!

She’s been frantically visiting the venue, executing the questions we had about where and how the tables will be arranged, sorting the seating by guests, getting her team (of cousins) to memorise the tables to help ushering, where to position the tv / screen (we have a slideshow of photos of last 50+ years), compiling the photos, “do they have wireless mics”, “this doorgift is better than that”, and getting her surprise gift completed, etc.

Yes, she’s done a surprise gift too.

At this juncture, from my own observations I’d say she has experienced at least some of these emotions!

Some small forms of accomplishment (getting things in order for the event)

Especially with Caitlin already not needing overnight feeds early in her life / early in our new parenting roles; I think it was even around 6 months that she started sleeping through the night. The other things would also be when she started walking, and when she was toilet trained.

Little Man Caleb still wakes (with a wail, no less) in the middle of the night, with each parent pretending not to hear it waiting for the other to get outta bed, or dreading that it is our turn to feed….

So us parents, and to an extent Caitlin (yes she still sleeps with us due to space constraints) are usually panda-eyed, dozing off at work and in school…. where opportunities for sleep is cherished and which means a trade-off for any other (nocturnal??) activities… such as regular exercise – a topic which deserves a whole different series of posts.

HM (Hot Mummee or of late, Her Majesty!) suggested recently that when Caleb does wake and cries, to lull him back to sleep quickly, before he “fully” wakes wide-eyed.

This is, of course, depended on him being “more tired / tired enough” than his actual (presumed reason for waking) hunger. We OH SO SINCERELY hope that this will work, and work enough times for him to get used to not feeding at nights, eventually leading to him getting used to not waking anymore.

We have tried this two nights in a row, with my turn being only last night / this morning.

He woke wa-waa-WAAAA and HM was almost-violently shaking my leg. I got up, mumbled something, and picked him up to immediately cuddle him. In the dark I could see (through my squinty lack of sleep eyes) that his eyes weren’t squinty. The little terror was looking around.

Assuming my usual stance, I was bouncing and swaying him (think golf-swing hip-movements) for quite a while. I almost gave up seeing as he was wriggling a little; a sign that he really isn’t all that sleepy. And I was actually working up a sweat already.

Lucky for me (him?) that he did eventually knock off. Put him back in the cot and he started stirring and actually propped himself looking up. Fearing the worst (!) I managed to pat him back to sleep though- did this a few times.

This morning I got out of the shower to find HM feeding him. She had prepared his milk already, presumably he was wa-waa-ing when I was in the shower. She remarked that his cot is a little wet with pee….

So what’s the take-away with this exercise?

That this may actually work, but at the same time we have to decide whether to check and change his diapers, risking fully-waking him in the process of washing / changing him.

Hot Mummee and I had a chat with Caitlin on Thursday night, after I had updated HM (her majesty!) on what’s been going on with Caitlin’s schooling this week year.

Since Saturday was a schoolday (replacements for Chinese New Year long break) we decided to go chat with Teacher Rachel again.

Turns out that Teacher Rachel has already had a word(s) with Teacher Ann; twice in a week in fact.

In a nutshell, Rachel now is having a slight issue broaching this with Ann, because Ann tends to be the sensitive type. Having been told twice in a week already, Rachel thinks it’s best not to highlight her teaching style again so soon….

In the meantime, Caitlin has again seem assured now that both her parents have gone into her school to try and solve her problem. Also, HM has also convinced Caitlin that she should remain in the classroom when Teacher Ann enters for her lessons, and not be tailing Teacher Rachel so much. She has agreed to “comply”, but like all 4 year olds she may succumb to her “fears” again when the time comes.

So this morning on the way in the car, not surprisingly Caitlin starts whining about going to school again. But this time she was complaining about the length of the schoolday itself. I managed to convince her that it is for her own good, because she can use this time (and she does) to complete all her homework, and be free of them when she returns to Grandma’s.

She accepted that, and off to school she went. At least there were no more tears from my “brave girl”.

Ethnic Chinese folks have this at the age of 1 month. Caitlin had her celebration, but due to logistics, we didn’t have one for Caleb- Okay, our excuse was that he turned a month old when everyone else would have been too busy with 2008’s Chinese New Year!

Anyway..

Dubbed full moon; “moon” being synonymous with “month” in the Chinese language, I cannot remember (do I even know?) what the reasons are for this milestone among us Chinese folks. Somehow I have this impression that this milestone celebration is to signify the achievement of babies reaching 1 month old, because, back in the (really) old days, baby mortality rates are quite high, reaching a month old is deemed an achievement.