Where Is the Real You?

Just when you think you have everything figured out there is some surprise. Something unexpected. You react in shock but it really is true and you cannot deny it for very long. There are forces at work when you don’t realize it. There are so many different areas of your life that it takes some complex organization to keep everything working in harmony. You are the only aspect that is not always in alignment. You are the only reason that things may spin out of control or go awry.

Even now you are attempting to argue against this logic. You want to believe that there are so many more things that contribute to what type of life experience that you are having. You feel it is impossible for you to be the only thing between you and a truly beautiful, blessed life. It is true and we will explain this to you.

As we have said before your troubles are in layers. There have been many negative experiences, genetics or environmental contributions to create these layers. Underneath all of it is you. The genuine you, with your psyche intact. You may become overwhelmed to realize that everything that feels wrong or unsuccessful is your own doing. You may take a few steps back in order to embrace this concept.

If we look at every dysfunctional behavior, bad habit, limitation or repetitious cycle in your life it is attributable to some thought, occurrence or event.

There are exceptions. Mental illness, birth defects, serious disease or any handicap which is attributed to real injuries or biochemical imbalances. These instances are definitely treatable but you must actually seek and comply with treatment. Other exceptions are any disease, illness or disability that you intentionally came here, into this life with, in order to learn from and teach others through contrast and experience.

There is also some dark energy at work. If someone were to lack a conscience or be possessed by a dark being, this is definitely darkness at play in your world. It is possible to look deep inside this type of person and not find any Light. This may be a random event that you must learn to quickly get away from. There are no learning moments from every bit of contrast and conflict. Sometimes you really have to walk away and protect yourself. This dark person will live with you, marry you and even have children with you but only because these connections will increase the amount of anguish they may put you through. You are not going to “save” them. You will be the one who needs saving.

Layers occur when you are not able to or don’t know how to deal with something. If you were to have exceptional coping abilities throughout your life you would have a minimal amount of layers. If you were unable to process any conflict, trauma, illness or negative life event, you have more layers build up over time.

Then, when you have an ample amount of layers, you are truly unable to deal with anything stressful and more layers are created. If this is you or one of your loved ones of course you believe in every ache, pain or diagnosis. This is not to be confused with actual illness or injury. This is an emotional type of layering which is a result of complex upset and stress.

People often turn their upset, anger, frustration and depression inward. This is the phenomena that we are referring to. Perhaps as a child, this person was treated poorly, ignored, isolated or shunned for having negative feelings. This anguish is more potent when the emotions are caused by your parent or other caregiver. Perhaps a child has an upset stomach, nausea and tends to cry because mom and dad are in a Domestic Violence relationship. Or, the parent is molesting the child and the upset is directly caused by this abuse. Or, an older sibling is beating this child. The adults who are unwilling or unable to make positive changes in the environment turn their anger, hopelessness or feelings of being overwhelmed against the child. This is an outlet for the adult(s) but the child is harmed. This child has no positive outlet and may turn the upset inward.

It is also common that a child is non-verbally taught that an upset stomach is acceptable when fear, depression or anger is not. Again, this is what the environment has taught this child. Grandma will help your upset tummy but will be spurned by your anger. Your mother will nurse your illness and protect you from your abusive father. If you are upset about your father’s behavior, she may react differently. She may actually side with the father in order to save herself from additional punishment at his hands. The child is inadvertently taught that physical complaints get a better response.

Then, there are situations when the child has no way to express any emotions. Often they will turn their upset inward. As an adult, these layers were developed through effective or ineffective coping. The adult may not be aware of the origin of their dysfunction since they were young when many conflicts began. The beginning is still there; the adult just has lost or buried their awareness of it. They are left with their current behavioral problem, non-specific illness or mental disorder.

We use some generic examples to make our point. If you haven’t had these specific experiences then please tailor this post to include situations that are familiar with you. We don’t want you to miss the lesson because we are using examples which don’t resonate with you.

There are many times when a child suffers from negative circumstances in life and they turn their rage outward. This is also a response to layers of dysfunction. Each negative aspect of their personality was developed from some specific set of life circumstances. This adult has suffered from years of being misunderstood and mistreated. Even the family or other circumstances that created their upset will no longer deal with them. The abusive father will kick the abusive son out of the household. Or, the ineffective mom will refuse to accept any responsibility for the chaos in their lives. Auntie is always there to help your tummy problems but will not step in if you are fighting the system. Everyone stays in their role, unless they want to change.

Now we come back to the layers that you have developed in response to what you have experienced in life. Under all of this cause and effect is your genuine self. Unearthing layers of dysfunction seems like a daunting task, and it is but, finding some aspects of the real you is exciting. “You” are in there.