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Topic: Hard Headed Folks (Read 481 times)

My parents are up there in age and both live on their own. Luckily, they are still able to take care of their selves for the most part, but they are both hard headed. One still smokes even though the doctor said to quit. The other's vision and reflexes are slowly going, but still insist on driving. I'm often left wondering what I am going to do with them.

Some of them definitely don't make it easy on us as they move into their golden years. My dad reminds me so much of my grandmother when she was his age and the funny thing is that she used to drive him crazy. Now he's the one driving me crazy! I think all we can do is be there for them and try to keep them mentally and physically active, but we also need to make some tough decisions, like taking car keys away.

My parents are up there in age and both live on their own. Luckily, they are still able to take care of their selves for the most part, but they are both hard headed. One still smokes even though the doctor said to quit. The other's vision and reflexes are slowly going, but still insist on driving. I'm often left wondering what I am going to do with them.

Sorry to ask, but is there a bit of that hardheadedness in you too? (just kidding). See, all you can do is play your part in just telling them the facts. It's been said that it is hard to quit smoking so I am not surprised that your dad hasn't decided to quit yet. At the end of they day, your duty is to show them love all the time, despite the challenges.

The smoking issue is a done deal. If he/she has smoked this long the chances of quitting are slim. I have an older friend that sounds terrible when she coughs and still smokes one right after the other. She says she will never quit. I guess all you can do is love them and take care of them the best you can.

As frustrating as my parents can be, I try to imagine what it must feel like to gradually lose much of the freedom they had when they were younger. I can only imagine how stubborn I will be when my own children think they can tell me what to do!

I agree that smoking is a done deal. The doctor is currently trying to get my mom off some prescription pain medicine that she's been taking for years and all I can think is "Why bother?". At a certain point, I think we should just let the elderly have their small joys.

The driving thing is concerning. Perhaps a doctor's note can help to get his license revoked. I know it's harsh but it's what we had to do with my father. He was practically blind with cataracts and he was still being caught driving around town! Nowadays he catches the bus (against my wishes, I might add). It's better than driving I suppose.

Personally, I try not to infringe upon their freedom. They're still rational and sane minded (well one of them is for sure) and deserve to be treated like adults.

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Empty Nest Moms

That is probably their ways of resisting the aging process, more emotionally than physically. It's not easy to accept being dependent on others, or having to limit ourselves from the things we love in our early days. When scolding doesn't work anymore, all we can do is to support them when they need us.

Good point, Patty, about letting them enjoy their small joys. I would still monitor how much they smoke every day, though, because I also want to have them around as long as possible.

That is probably their ways of resisting the aging process, more emotionally than physically. It's not easy to accept being dependent on others, or having to limit ourselves from the things we love in our early days. When scolding doesn't work anymore, all we can do is to support them when they need us.

Good point, Patty, about letting them enjoy their small joys. I would still monitor how much they smoke every day, though, because I also want to have them around as long as possible.

Good point there, especially because it has never been easy to age. Now that you have mentioned it, I do think that these kind of reactions could be happening subconsciously. Hope you can still find a few things to laugh about, despite their hardheadedness.