Sorry another mil post

We have a 6 month old and my Mil texts me weekly to see if I'm going over hers for a visit which I don't... I go once every 2 weeks and when I go she makes comments to my lg like oh are you sad because you don't see us enough and shes forgot us because we don't see her every week. Im going back to work in July so I want my mat leave doing what I want and I don't want to go there every week or even every other week tbh.... but I do want my daughter to know her grandparents.

I've never spoke about this to my oh about this because I don't want to hurt his feelings about me not wanting to spend time with his family.

What I would prefer is for him to take our lg each week or every other week but he doesn't... he can go months without seeing his parents. I've said to him why don't u take lo to visit he says he can't be arsed going there 😞

Aibu for not wanting to go there every week? Should I just do what I want and leave it to oh to deal with his parents?

Comments (40)

It’s not really up to you to facilitate a relationship with his parents. If he can’t be arsed then that’s really sad for them as it sounds like they want a relationship with you and their grandchild.

If you don’t want to visit then I would either invite them to visit you if you’re happy with that. Otherwise say you’re busy this week but contact their son and ask him to come round with the baby as he’s not busy. Then he can tell his own mother he can’t be arsed to see her.

Yeh as PP's have said its up to your OH. i used to let mine sort it out when we see his parents but cuz im currently having problems with them theyve decided they want me to ask them to come round so they feel more welcome and i invited them round last week. If your OH (other half) cant be bothered thats not your fault. My OH's parents decided to not turn up once when i had invited them round and not even ring to let us know and i kept telling my OH (other half) to ring them but he said no cuz he wasnt bothered but in the end he did. X

Personally I would be thrilled if my in laws were as involved as much as yours and they clearly adore your LO, so if it was me then I think I would make the effort to go round.

I also get why you want to spend your maternity doing your own thing etc but this is why when you have a child things can get messy because even if you can't be arsed with them, you sometimes need to put that aside for your LO.

Your OH (other half) needs to step up though and have more involvement. He's taking the easy way out and I wouldn't be having that!

I also think its' sweet of your MIL (mother-in-law) to ask you both round for a visit, they seem like pretty decent in laws to me and believe me there some not very nice ones out there.

You are passing a message to a BabyCentre staff member.
For the fastest help on community guidelines violations, please click 'Report this' on the item you wish the staff to review.
For general help please read our Help section or contact us.