Thousands rush to sign-up to 'Jimmy Carr avoidance' scheme

Thousands of people the length and breadth of the UK have today been reported to be signing up to a Jimmy Carr avoidance scheme.

The highly controversial scheme allows ‘subscribers’ to filter, loan out and offset 99% of their Jimmy Carr coverage, leaving them with just a 1% Jimmy Carr burden.

A prominent Jimmy Carr avoidance scheme advocate, Mr James Davidson told us - “Although it may seem immoral, I have checked with my advisors and it is perfectly legal. There is a distinct difference between Jimmy Carr avoidance and Jimmy Carr evasion. I have done nothing wrong. Also there are too many disabled people at my gigs”.

It is thought that many more people will now be subscribing to the scheme, and that the founders of the scheme are hoping to capitalise on its success by introducing other schemes, such as the David Cameron bullshit-filter scheme and the Lenny Henry total-avoidance scheme, which will allow people to watch the TV in total assurance that all Premier Travel Inn adverts and Lenny Henry one off specials will be replaced with repeats of Only Fools and Horses.