Stuffmonger and Bluelight

Numerous press reports point to an epic thread on Bluelight (the world’s largest drug forum) posted by a user named Stuffmonger. Stuffmonger claims to have re-discovered a legendary drug that appeared a dozen years ago, was praised as the drug of drugs, and, after a few months, was then lost to history. Hundreds have been searching for it for years. He describes how to re-create the drug, and the thread goes on for than 1,000 posts, a record for Bluelight.

The professional chemists on the board, of which there are hundreds, quickly judged the thread as an elaborate hoax, and then went off to do better things. The rank and file, however, were fascinated, and many tried to recreate the technique that Stuffmonger described.

At one point Stuffmonger mentions that he lives in Belize, in the jungle, beside a river. Connections were made, and people began to believe that Stuffmonger was actually myself, and that I was indeed doing the drugs that I was encouraging others to create.

I am indeed that same Stuffmonger. I, however, do not do drugs, and I am no chemist. I am, however, a practical joker who does not mind investing months in a given joking enterprise.

For example. Some three months ago, a journalist named Rebecca Moss called me late one night to ask my opinion of the highly publicized lawsuit between Bikram Chowdray and Gregg Gemuccio. Gregg Gemuccio had been one of my yoga students in Colorado about eight years ago, and Bikram had become angry with Gregg over his disloyalty (can’t serve two masters). Gregg split from Bikram. In any case Ms. Moss was serious and focused. I don’t dig serious overmuch so I tried to lighten the tone with humor. At one point Ms. Moss asked me what I was doing with myself. “Observational Yoga Studios” was my reply. I went on to explain how we discov ered that watching people do yoga imparts as much benefit as actually doing the yoga. I expected a hearty laugh, but instead got a very serious “Really?”.

“Yes”, I said. I have studios here where clients sit in easy chairs, with their feet up, being served grapes, snacks, and wine, while they watch professional yoga instructors do yoga.

Still no laugh.

I went on to say that we were also opening observational weight training studious so that people could increase muscle mass and decrease fat by watching people lift weights. “The test results have been astonishing” I told her.

Still no laugh. So I ran with it. I did mention at the end that we had tested observation concert pianist programs with little success. “People just simply couldn’t play the piano after a session” I said. She published the story. You can read it here.

Last month, on a bet, I contacted a Chinese electronics manufacturer in Kunshan to enquire about manufacturing my new invention. I had invented a new type of universal remote control, I explained, that had a “Change Actor” button. The button would bring a selection of alternate actors for a given. If one was watching “Out of Africa”, for example, and Robert Redford didn’t suit your mood, you could press the button and replace him with Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, or Omar Shariff, among others. “Would you be interested in manufacturing this device for me” I asked.

The bet was that I could not get a prototype built by the company. A bonus would be paid if I could get the company to re-imburse me for losses when I tried it out, wrote back, and said “The f—-ker doesn’t work”. Any amount of re-imbursement, no matter how small, would win me the bonus. The bet is currently in play. I have six months to get the prototype built. So far, from my received correspondence, the bet is mine.

Now comes Bluelight. Bluelight prides itself on being the drug board of drug boards. Stringent controls are placed on posts and members are booted frequently for violations. It has thousands of members. I bet a close friend that I could create a thread in Bluelight and get 1,000 posts, not counting mine. I won the bet. I believe it is the longest in Bluelight history.

There you have it. I will say no more about Bluelight since I have beaten this dead horse enough.

Three of my friends are still being held in prison on trumped up charges. They are:

Eddie Ancona

Cassian Chavarria

William Mulligan

They were charged and have been imprisoned because three legally licensed firearms were found in the incorrect rooms on my property (stretching the law to the extreme). I would ask you to please email the following and demand their release:

John McAfee

16 Responses to “Stuffmonger and Bluelight”

hi John *_*…
i did read the text first yesterday in net over that woman wants make trouble with you…sorry to hear about…but your arguments are right and she seems an lil bit retarded, cos, why she wants for an “human”, that only was your neighbour, money from you…courious…we arent in middleage or?
..maybe they did make an error and pic up the wrong house….and the razzia was befor began the quarrel…
Greetings from Gisla

I wish all of you would leave Mr.McAfee the Fuck alone guilty or not it’s none of anyone’s business besides his. I am a strong supporter of McAfee before he was on the run and after, and will continue to be. Mr.McAfee if you get any free time shot me an email if you can.

I think you’re the one who hasn’t read enough. If you look around online, you can find first hand accounts of people who have taken amphetamines or similar drugs, and then compulsively masturbated until they were raw.

My friends pet goldfish was a BL guy. And he could definitely tell that Mr. Stuffmonger wasn’t hoaxing anything. That is, until the GSU caught wind, right John? They found ethanol in your QuorumEx lab, correct? I bet they found sulphuric acid and a vigreux column as well. You DID use the ether freebase extraction method, didn’t you? “QuorumEx” founded Feb ’10, stuffmonger joined Bluelight Oct ’10, Bluelight thread posted in Dec ’10. You were having problems figuring out how to speed up the synthesis, right? You did it the hard way for 8 months until you reached out for a solution. Shoot me an email John, I’d love to write an expose’. Seriously though, I don’t know why they couldn’t just leave you alone. Is there really more to it as far as the government interaction goes?

Unfortunately, i am inclined to agree with Mr. Quinn. I have been following since you went on the run, and have devoted a significant amount of time trying to find whatever information i could dig up. I’ll admit, you had me convinced of your innocence, that is, until i stumbled upon the bluelight threads. I came across them before you put your entry up on here about it, although i had seen some of your replies stating that you had only done it as a prank. My opinion differs from Dan’s in that i do believe it is possible for you to have been joking around, and sometimes people go to incredible lengths for a laugh, myself included. But I do believe that you are backtracking somewhat. The man in the bluelight threads stands too close to your own ideology for me to believe every word on that thread is falsified, which forces me, as a person of logic, to bring everything back into question. Now, I do not believe that you shot your neighbor, and i don’t necessarily believe that you were synthesizing MDPV. (although if you were, a lot more pieces fall into place) I simply wanted to let you know how it looked from my point of view, if there is something i am overlooking or if you can offer a more detailed account into the bluelight threads, (truthful or otherwise) then I believe you should.

Dan R, you say the BlueLight thread didn’t piss anyone off? yet you have obvious anger issues just discussing BlueLight. Time to take your miserable ass back over to Gizmodo to Nerd Josh’s Wannabe Blog. Peace..and Quiet await you there!!

So… I would create a bogus yoga movement (Observation Yoga), that makes it into Wikipedia, spawned franchising requests from dozens of individuals, countless laughs from my friends, and causes a hapless reporter to do a long write up on it:

I wish I had the time to use multiple accounts. Why piss into the wind when the message volume here is as much as it is? So you’re with Wired? Now I see your animosity. You guys f–ked up big time. How will you recover?