Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Stupid Tourist Tricks.

Seriously. Would there be the same hue and cry if he'd driven the family Maybach through Clichy-sous-Bois on a hot night at two A.M. in first gear with the windows down? (Although he probably stands a smaller chance of getting 'jacked even in the worst of the banlieues than he does off the coast of frickin' Somalia...)

Do these people not get news? Hell, have they never seen Black Hawk Down? That's been one of the Earth's bad neighborhoods since Pharaoh's tax collectors came out of a bar to find their chariot up on blocks...

10 comments:

Buy an old cruise ship, outfit her with a couple Ma Deuces, pick up some M79s, and charge gun nuts beaucoup bucks to roam the high seas looking for pirates.

Think about the look on the Somalia pirates' faces when they start to approach what looks to be The Love Boat only to have a couple dozen Kim du Toits, SayUncles, and Tams opening up with belt-fed .50 BMGs...

How bad of a sailor do you have to be to:1. Decide to sail near Somalia2. Not bring way more fuel than you think you need3. Not have either a really fast engine or know for sure that someone good's military is just over the horizon.

If you've got enough money that you've got a yacht that requires a pilot, you can afford to weld some pipes and gun mounts to the deck and get a few FALs that can be rigged up at short-notice. Even if they're only semi-auto that's still not something I'd want to face if I were an aquaterrorist.

Unless they're armed with RPGs, you should be okay. Heck, if you're busy sailing around East Africa you can probably find yourself a way to get some RPGs of your own.

I second Jay's idea. I haven't checked recently, but there was this really great former cruise ship docked at freeport needing a good and loving owner. The SS Oceanic formerly of Premier cruise lines and prior to that of Holland America. Good lines, built for the transatlantic passage, bank owned after premier tanked.

I wonder how many investors we would have to get. Could there be a CIA grant? After all who would notice a few spies or a seal team ot two among all those gunnies?

You guys think big. And while I like that, I'd hate to have to fuel a cruise liner. I was thinking more along the lines of a decent 48 foot sloop, with a compliment of 8 to ten, all much better armed than one would guess.

Once they made clear their intention to board, begin dropping .50 BMG bolt gun rounds into her stern at the waterline, and set set about riddling he wheelhouse with rifle fire. (Note: maximum range for RPGs is 900 to 1100 meters. Maximum range for .50 BMG rounds = More.) Meanwhile the rest of he passengers begin readying the auto rifles, sub guns, shotguns, etc.

Unless they are WAY overgunned and intending to destroy at a distance what they had originally planned to board and capture, most pirate ships would probably be deterred.

Hey, a man can dream. It's just my own little idea of a great way to go out, should I someday have a doctor give me news like Randy Pausch's did.