But in quite possibly the most disappointing moment in our entire day, all footage of her actually DJing, save for about two seconds, is cut from the YouTube video. Apparently, she’s more entertaining when simply holding a conversation than actually spinning records. While chatting it up with former “BFF” Ellen, Paris adorably explains the concept of her Wednesday Foam & Diamonds parties over the summer at Amnesia Ibiza in terms she feels Ellen’s viewers would understand: “It’s kinda like being at a car wash.” Great. Thanks.

The two go on to reminisce over a day they spent together in which Paris tried to teach Ellen a few of the finer points of being… Paris… including pole-dancing and staring blankly into space. Enjoy the video below.