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The internet is full of gangs. But not scary, kill you gangs, like the Bloods or the Crips. These are more like, adorable gangs of fast-talking small children, like the Dead End Kids.

The world of webcraft is full of internet tough guys, but unlike real bullies they can't steal your lunch money or put gum in your hair.

All they can really do is rob you of your dignity, and if you had any of that you wouldn't be e-hiding under e-bridges like an internet troll to begin with.

Internet gangs are more like the gangs from West Side Story. Sure they may look mean and their combs turn into switchblades, but you're not very likely to get hurt. Unless you get hit by a deadly pas de bourrée.

If, like Tobias, you hire them to do your dirty work, you will most likely find yourself in the midst of an impromptu a capella blitz.

Which is not to say that a capella can't be every bit as horrifying as a hail of bullets (it certainly can), but until they perfect the gay bomb and the microwave auditory effect we are safe (for now).

Internet gangs are not lions, they are more like lemurs. They have sharp teeth and you wouldn't want to be stuck in a dark room with one, but as long as they're safely caged up you'll be fine.

All I'm saying is, there are worse things to be caught in than a dance fight. Just try a few spin moves and some sassy kicks and maybe you'll even end up on the winning team. And if you lose? Well you're fighting a bunch of flamers (no homo) in leotards and stirrups. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

The gyro vendor next to him, Mohammed, was also having trouble making sales. "The models don't eat. Their bodyguards do," he said. Still, he would willingly date any of his willowy non-customers. "Even the ugliest from them, I am happy with," he said. Only Ahmed, a fruit vendor on West 40th Street, was pleased with the models' purchasing power. "They like peach, they like plum, orange, and nectarine. They appreciate my fruit," he said. He, in turn, appreciates them. "I am very happy because passing my street I see them and it's like a little festival. They're beautiful."

The clothing is for the most part dumb. You can see most of the collections here. Tell me if you see something you like and I will buy it for you.

I admit that I don't know much about fashion, but I think that's for the best. A person needs at least one subject he can avoid without feeling bad about himself. For Jude Law, I think that subject was "morality."

If you see me in this outfit, I do not want to hear shit from you. Brother loves a sash!

“A Wrinkle in Time” was rejected by 26 publishers before editors at Farrar, Straus & Giroux read it and enthusiastically accepted it. It proved to be her masterpiece, winning the John Newbery Medal as the best children’s book of 1963 and selling, so far, eight million copies. It is now in its 69th printing.

I was at the parade with my family, as it's a Labor Day tradition in our town. I watched the Obama supports with disbelief. Leading the entourage were openly gay and lesbian supporters with "Impeach Bush/Cheney" signs, followed by what I would consider to be nearly every loony leftist from nearby Vermont.

As my wife and I stood with our two girls, who are both under 3 years old, an Obama supporter was breaking from the parade group to hand out Obama stickers. When the supporter approached us, she looked at my wife, who was wearing a Romney sticker on her shirt, then looked at me as I was wearing a Rudy sticker on my shirt. She then leaned down to my almost 3-year-old daughter, gave her an Obama sticker, and told her she needed to get new parents.

Unfortunately I was so shocked I had no time to react, but the sticker was quickly tossed into a nearby trash can.