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Why didn't you just have soup at home?
Penny, I have an IQ of ...

[at The Cheesecake Factory]Penny: Why didn't you just have soup at home?Sheldon: Penny, I have an IQ of 187. Don't you imagine if there were a way for me to have soup at home, I would have thought of it?Penny: You can have soup delivered.Sheldon: I did not think of that

Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. When I finaly managed to convince her I was sick, she said, "MÃ¶chtest du eine DarmspÃ¼lung?"Penny: What does that mean?Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, "Would you like an enema?"

If influenza was only contagious after symptoms appear, it would have died out thousands of years ago. Somewhere between tool using and cave painting, Homo habilis would have figured out to kill the guy with the runny nose