Quit Taking It Personally (QTIP) is a concept used in different modalities of therapy. I chose it as the title for my musings because whatever it is, it usually isn't about me.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

good essay

Lisa pointed me to an excellent essay written by Laura A. Munson in the New York Times. Her husband tells her he's going to leave her, and she shows great fortitude realizing that it's not about her, it's about him. She writes: "Although it may sound ridiculous to say “Don’t take it personally” when your husband tells you he no longer loves you, sometimes that’s exactly what you have to do." She keeps the family together in spite of her husband. And that's a thing I've not been able to learn throughout my life, that it usually isn't about me and that I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings, or that I can't make someone feel a certain way. Happiness comes from within, Munson tells us, and relationships may enhance life but they are not the end of it.