The Big B**** Theory

By Seth Kabala

We recently started watching The Big Bang Theory. At first, I was unconvinced a show starring Darlene’s boyfriend would be a worthwhile investment of my time, but after a few episodes displaying acting chops doubtless acquired from years removed play-freaking a future lesbian, I realized, with wonder, that Johnny Galecki has talent, so we signed on to watch more.

Impulse buy: check, and we were the owners of the first three seasons, burning through the first season in a couple days, but not without a road block.

When the entire family is home and awake (a rare occasion), the kids like to watching whatever Amy and I are watching, and unless the material is too scary or visually age-inappropriate (use your imagination), we don’t censor what they watch. Alas, that liberal philosophy doesn’t always go as planned.

With the same speed you draw your hand back from a grease burn, Anna shouted, “Bitch?”–drawing a gentle rebuke from Amy and me and a promise to explain it … later, no promise as when “later” might be.

Notice of recurring statement of Kabala Family Maxim: I have no problem with swearing if said swearing strengthens the communication within which it is infused. Curses are vital building blocks to achieve lexicographic integrity in one’s vocabulary.

A time presents when one must explain curses to one’s children as enhancements to the lexicon and not detractors from story, not indulgences in vulgarities for the sake of shock value. Essentially, curse-seasoned entertainment is good, especially family-oriented curse seasoning.

Why? Because it depicts life as it is, not as a bastardization that attempts to shield blank canvas minds from evil-wrought truth distortion, from having any connection between the eyes and the sexual urges. Though, on this last point, I can’t honestly say I look forward to having the sex talk or to explaining and field-testing appropriate situations for cursing

But I never thought watching a sitcom would present biological/language teaching moments, either, so thank you, Big Bang Theory.