Three Things I Learned About Dating From Nature Documentaries

My favorite thing about the dope TV my roommate Scruff bought is watching the amazing BBC documentary series Planet Earth. Seriously, do yourself a favor and order the DVD set today. As a typically self-absorbed humanoid, I can't help but make connections between the ways of the wild and my own life, particularly when it comes to the battle of the sexes:

Females Like Em Big: No, not like that—I'm talking about big all over. Apparently it all comes down to the male's ability to protect the female, which we already know is critical thanks to the pioneering field research of Dr. Steve Harvey. I'm pretty good in the height department, but now I'm wondering if I should intensify my gym routine.

You Ladies Could Have It A LOT Worse: Male cats have barbs on their penises to stimulate ovulation. Insert your own joke here—I'm already pushing it with this topic. (For a fascinating look at animal members, check out this NY Times blog post from Olivia Judson.)

You And Me Baby Ain't Nothing But Mammals: I'm all about true love and establishing emotional intimacy and all that jazz, but sometimes I think we should turn down the volume on our 21st-century neuroses and heed the call of the wild.

Are you also hooked on nature documentaries? What can the birds and the bees teach us about the birds and the bees? How do you reconnect with your wild side?