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The Bridesmaids’ Luncheon: A Play in One Part (#67)

PART ONE (OF ONE) SCENE ONE (OF ONE)

Interior of the finest, fanciest restaurant in Nowhere, New Hampshire. In this restaurant, the mason jars used as water glasses have handles.

Nine women sit at a long table. They hand their menus to a waiter. Eight of them will have to wait to be introduced until they actually say something because otherwise the stage directions will take up an entire page.

Autumn is seated in the middle of the table. She has the skinny frame and jumpy eyes of a starving animal in the middle of the food chain — if she slows down enough to eat or sleep, a bigger predator might pounce.

M raising her glass at Autumn: To the bride! This time tomorrow, you’ll be married!

Seven obligatory “yays” are followed by rather more enthusiastic sips from wine glasses. Autumn twists her napkin into the shape of a squid. M hands a piece of bread to Autumn.

M: Did you eat breakfast?

AUTUMN twisting bread into butter–squirting squid: I had some Cheerios? Hey, I forgot to ask, are the sleeves right-side up on your dress again?

M: Yes. Eat.

AUTUMN leaning over to Boyfriend-Stealing Baby Sister: What about your sleeves?

BOYFRIEND-STEALING BABY SISTER: Mine were fixed Wednesday. Eat.

AUTUMN setting bread on plate and leaning across table to JM: How was your flight? And do you know what dry steam is?

BRILLIANT BLONDE LAWYER SISTER: Will you put that damned piece of bread in your mouth already?!

Autumn picks up bread again, only to drop it as her phone rings. She checks the screen.

25 thoughts on “The Bridesmaids’ Luncheon: A Play in One Part (#67)”

Very well written piece of theater. Very theatrical. M certainly sets things as straight as she can, always so calm in the midst of chaos and worry. Changing names or taking on your partner’s name can be a touchy subject. Understandable Andy’s parents aren’t happy as it’s not traditional in Chinese culture to change their name post-marriage. I’m sure they were convinced in the end…

Well, it’s funny now. I think at the time I cared too much about everything being perfect. I should have embraced the insanity. Because at the end of the day, you’re married whether events go smoothly or not.

And being officially married is ultimately just an external ceremony to show the internal commitment Andy and I made to each other two years before. 🙂

That is true!! It is a celebration of your love. My husband and I approached our wedding differently and decided it was going to be a big party for us, not stress for us and a party for everyone else. We took a laid back approach to it all.

I repeated after the minister, and bride said them herself. Turns out I was supposed to print them for myself. I printed stuff for everyone else, but I was told someone would give them to me so I didn’t even think to print them for me. *sigh*

For a writer, it’s a real benefit to have a lot of drama in your life. Of course, you take full benefit of it with your humorous writing style. You’ve posted so many funny stories related to your wedding. My wedding and wedding preparation was really nice and also boring. I could write maybe one short post about it.

Thanks, Kai! LOL, I never thought that’s what the title of the site might make people think, but it’s quite reasonable. I do get some one-time hits from the Middle East using search words for escort services and porn. 🙂