When it emerged that Lady Gaga intended to fight a $300,000 lawsuit, filed by her former assistant (and, Gaga would like it noted, EX-best friend), we braced for some bananas court documents.

Last week, we got some great superbitch testimony out of Gaga as she defended her right to not pay her assistant overtime ("I'm not going to give it to her so she can go to Intermix and buy herself a new tube top").

The number one activity on tour with Lady Gaga appears to be shitting.

When Lady Gaga's not voiding her bowels all through the day and late into the night, she's hanging out with a mannequin with a cotton candy crotch. Again, from the rider:

Also she wanted a manquin [sic] with puffy pink public [sic] hair...

While "public hair" could perhaps refer to the hair on the mannequin's head—the hair most often seen by the public—that's probably a typo meaning "pubic" hair, because if you want to talk about "public hair", "hair" will usually suffice.

Furthermore, do they make mannequins with pubic hair? Anyone receiving this request would probably have to create their own by affixing a pink wig to a mannequin's hairless, plastic crotch, right? Maybe that's why it's specified that the hair must be "puffy"—so that they don't go out and buy a sleek pink bob wig by mistake.

In addition to the mannequin whose crotch is like a tropical sunset, Gaga would also like for the room to be decorated in the "glam rock" fashion, with walls draped in "black and silver satins," and old posters of her favorite glam rock artists ("Bowie, Queen, Elton, Billy Joel, Billy [sic] Holiday") prominently displayed for all the people and mannequins to enjoy.