(Closed) Bridal party trouble

I haven’t posted many times but often read the advice that many of you give and I’m in desperate need of some! Sorry for the long winded story but I think you need the background…

When my fiancé asked me to marry him the bridal party was a no brainer. I was only going to have my sister despite him having 2 groomsmen. I was convinced that odd numbers didn’t matter. I have 3 best friends and couldn’t decide between them. So I made a decision not to choose any.

After a month the MC who we had asked had to pull out as his sister was getting married on the same day. So I then asked our obvious next choice who was one of my 3 girlfriends. One of my girlfriends was really put out when she was not asked, saying that she was never going to be a bridesmaid and that I was the last girlfriend with whom she’d have a chance. Anyway I’d been thinking about asking one of my girlfriends (not the one who was out out) for about a month or 2. She would’ve been my first choice as I’ve known her since I was 13. I asked her and was over the moon about having her in my bridal party. Until I realised that I would have to tell my other friend – who had wanted to be in my wedding party most of all – that she wasn’t going to be in it.

So now a month has gone past and I’m going to see her in Adelaide this weekend and don’t know how to break the news to her. I know it’s all about how you say something and I do care about her so I don’t want to hurt her, but I think inevitably I will. I would still like her to play a part in the ceremony like maybe do a reading or poem or something, but I’m scared that won’t be enough.

Please help me Bee’s! Has anyone gone through something like this before?

Try to frame it in a positive way. Don’t approach her with a dramatic explanation or apology. Simply say you and your fiancé would like her to have a role in the wedding as a reader and leave it at that!

Without trying to sound harsh, it’s not your fault that the upset friend will (maybe) never be a bridesmaid. So don’t feel guilty.

Like PP says, try to be upbeat. And have an answer if she queries you, something like this:

“I know, but I had to ask Alice because we’ve been friends since we were 13. I couldn’t choose so I went with who I’ve known the longest, it was the only fair way. But you are also a special friend and so I’d be really honoured if you could do a reading” etc etc

Also try to involve her in the hens’ night if you’re having one and she can be there for it.

What about asking her to be your “personal attendant”. It will make her feel special giving her a “title” but they really don’t do anything except maybe help you go to the bathroom (haha). Give her a small gift and let her wear some flowers and call it a day.

Thanks Ladies! I’m really happy at your suggestions and feel a lot better about seeing her on this weekend… I hope she doesn’t scratch my eyes out 🙂 I’ll keep you posted on what happens! Thanks again lovelies!