Tips for new a mum?:)

Hi, my friend's having her first baby in October and I'm putting together a scrapbook of quirky/ fun/ unusual/ interesting tips for her baby shower. Anyone have any suggestions? Words of wisdom, to practical insider tips would be amazing. I don't have kids, so I'm clueless!

Throw away your iron! Warm the cot/Moses blanket slightly so that there isn't a huge shock going from mum to bed... I wish people had told me that when DS was little, especially as we had a plastic coated mattress!

Don't waste money on lots of toys for newborns. They really don't care. They'll only start to be interested from about 3 months on, and even then their / someone else's hands are far more entertaining to look at. Save the money and treat yourself!

SOME people will always be convinced you are doing it wrong, and won't be afraid to tell you. Your baby needs warmth, food, love and to be kept clean. If it seems content it probably is, so ignore the critics.

Don't worry about routines for at least a few months.

The baby hasn't read the parenting guides. It will do things its own way. It doesn't matter if it isn't the way it is "supposed" to be.

Don't bother ironing his clothes. He won't thank you for it.

Don't spend too much time looking things up on the internet. Especially not symptoms. You will make yourself neurotic.

Buy a decent child first aid guide so that you DO know what to look for and when it needs medical attention. DON'T go onto forums and ask what to do for health things. The people who answer aren't doctors and you won't get the same answer twice.

Buy a swaddling blanket and persevere with swaddling. (you can swaddle with just a normal blanket but I couldn't do it v well and she always wriggled out). Helped with dd's sleep I am sure.

Go with your gut instinct.

Babies can't sleep too much in the day - my mum was telling me I should be keeping her awake when she was a few weeks old - ignore anyone who tells you this! Sleep in the day means sleep at night (hopefully )

Also ignore anyone who says you are "making a rod for your own back", someone told me this when i said I couldn't put dd down at 4 weeks old, she just cried when i did and I had to hold her all the time. I worried about it then decided to ignore and now she's 5 months and happy on her own, has been for a while now

Some people will always be convinced you are doing it wrong, and won't be afraid to tell you. They will indeed! Dont stand for it, you gave birth, you get to make the final decision on what is best for your child. Make the best decision you can and dont wrack yourself with guilt if it doesnt turn out how you planned.

Trust your instincts, you know more than you think you do.

Enjoy of much of it as you can .even the bits that 'they' tell you not to do .like letting the baby fall asleep cuddled on your lap ..

Oh, don't read anything about milestones. All babies are different, there is no normal, so leave it to the doctors to pick up if anything IS wrong. Books. websites which tell you your baby should be able to do a certain thing by a certain age don't know YOUR baby.

And I totally agree with Phyllis - you do know more than you think you do.

Your baby will change almost every day - it's very exciting, so enjoy the miracle that is baby development!

Your baby will want to be held 24/7 for at least the first 4 weeks, if not more. This is fine. You are not spoiling your baby by doing this. You are not making a rod for your own back. Give in to it and enjoy it.

Vests go down as well as up. Very useful after a poo explosion when you don't want to take the vest off over the baby's head. An extension to this is don't use any vests that don't go down or those will be the ones your baby will wear when the poo-splosion happens!

View everything as a learning experience and try to laugh when things go wrong - even if it's through the tears. Most things will happen again but the second time you'll be more prepared.

Trust your partner with the baby early on even if it is just for short periods of time. They also need to learn how to cope with a new baby.

- Don't be afraid to tell visitors to sod off in the first couple of weeks or so. You will be tired, emotional, hormonal and (in my case) downright rude to them if you grin and bear it. Tell them you're tired and ask them to leave - or don't let them over at all!

- You can never have too many nappies/wipes/changes of clothes in the changing bag. The day you think you've got it just right is the day you'll be one short.

- Cloth bibs are pointless.

- Babies bounce. A fact not best tested, but they do. Surprisingly well.

- If it's a girl, and she's bald, everyone will think she's a boy. No matter how pink the DRESS she's wearing is.

Oh! And: If baby's struggling to sleep and you've done everything else humanly possible, trying swaddling. Wrap the baby up pretty snugly in a thin blanket, pinning the limbs in. It only works the first few weeks, but sometimes they won't settle if they're still freaked out by having all the space to move around in (imagine someone who's been in prison all their life finally getting out and discovering they're agoraphobic). 'Trapping' the limbs sounds horrid but it just makes them feel more secure, and they grow out of needing it pretty quickly

"Trust your partner with the baby early on even if it is just for short periods of time. They also need to learn how to cope with a new baby."

Definitely. Also, every new mum needs time off occasionally. You may not want it at first (too busy gazing in wonderment at the miraculous creature you've produced!), but if you don't take it then, it's a lot harder later on - for both you and your partner.

Also, have absolutely everything essential bought/assembled etc at least two weeks before your due date. You know that joke about the baby spending the first night at home in a drawer/cardboard box/whatever? I have photographic evidence that sometimes it really happens!