I looked at the photo and immediately I thought of you and I cuddled in one of the vast rooms in the castle. Intertwined bodies, low guttural moans... the flames from the fireplace licking at the air...

The trick is to gain proper perspective. Yes, it is sad to hear of all those deaths due to the storms. Rumour has it though, all of the victims were engrossed in viewing fairy-tale castles, and mountain-strewn, winter landscapes. The moral is, view these scenes in the proper manner, via pictures in books, the cinema, television, or online. Then no one gets killed and we don't have the inconvenience of bad feelings when we're enjoying the same. It's commonsense really.

Now I'm off to Indonesia and Sri Lanka to lecture on the virtues of hill-living.