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The 'Super Friends' method teaches kids to ask to play, include everyone, help one another and take turns with toys. / John Partipilo / The Tennessean

Teaching emotions and social skills

Friendship skills — Kids need to practice being good friends, including learning to share and cooperate. “We’re very fast to say, ‘You’re not being a good friend,’ but it’s not so common for a teacher to say, ‘You’re being a good friend’ when they help another student pick up the blocks.” Emotional literacy — In too many classrooms, instructors never talk about emotions or ask how children are feeling, a key step in teaching emotional literacy. Anger management — Many teachers use the “Tucker Turtle” method, explaining to children that they can go into their “shell” when stressed or anxious and come back out when they are calm. Social problem solving — Asks: How should a child respond when someone else has a desirable toy? Teachers can present a “solution toolkit,” giving them options, such as sharing, trading or taking turns. Engaging families — Just like academic work, parents should hear about the social and emotional lessons taking place through take-home handouts and achievement certificates. Social/emotional ‘red flags’ in classrooms

• Transitions between activities are more often chaotic than calm. • Directions are given to all students in the same way. • Telling children “no” instead of guiding them toward what they should be doing • Ignoring or failing to discuss emotions • Too many activities rely on teacher directions, instead of allowing exploration.

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There’s a new, better way to be a tattletale in Stephanie Kirby’s preschool class.

Instead of bombarding the teacher with reports of bad behavior, Kirby’s preschoolers deliver little dispatches to her about the good deeds they see in class.

Yes, the 4-year-olds often speak highly about themselves at first. But with practice, they also learn to praise their peers — when playing nice together, taking turns with a book or sharing the popular toy airplane.

It’s all part of “Super Friends,” a superhero-themed method of teaching social skills, friendship and cooperation that has received special attention in some Nashville preschool classrooms. Kirby, at Robert Churchwell Museum Magnet Elementary, also gets one-on-one coaching from Vanderbilt University teaching experts.

“Just because we put kids in preschool classrooms doesn’t mean they know how to be a good friend,” said Mary Louise Hemmeter, professor of special education. “(Super Friends) helps the teacher be intentional about teaching children what it means to be a good friend and gives kids practice at being a good friend.”

So what makes for a good friend?

Kirby’s students know. They recite the hallmarks while she reads from their friendship book: Super friends ask to play, include everyone, help one another and take turns with toys. And no matter what happens, a super friend is supposed to “Go with the flow!” They call it out like a cheer, bobbing their hands like they would out the car window to feel the breeze.

Before sending the students to activity stations, Kirby tells them she’ll be watching for super friends. Within minutes, she singles one out.

“Cydney invited A’niya up to read with her,” Kirby announces, placing paper cutouts of the girls onto a special display board.

She doesn’t have to prompt them long before they’re determined to be good — and to be noticed.

Part of the fabric

Kirby increased her use of Super Friends this school year, making it part of the everyday fabric of classroom activities, as part of coaching with Vanderbilt researchers interested in how to best arrange classrooms, schedule the day, teach emotional and social skills and ward off bad behavior before it even begins.

Hemmeter said too many classrooms handle behavioral problems and social skills as separate subjects. Teaching social and emotional skills must be a purposeful lesson, not something left to chance.

“Sometimes you can go a whole class period and never hear anything about a kid’s emotion,” Hemmeter said. “And that’s pretty disturbing.”

Jill Grifenhagen, a researcher with Hemmeter, coaches Kirby to praise friendly actions at least as frequently as she corrects bad behaviors.

“When kids are displaying problem behaviors it’s to get attention, but in a negative way,” Grifenhagen said. “It’s sort of turning that on its head and giving them attention for the positive.”

For years, kindergarten teachers have answered surveys by saying they prefer incoming students to have better social and emotional skills than basic academic abilities.

“They’re always things like: ‘They can follow directions, they get along with others, they can sit in group times,’ ” Hemmeter said. “Our hypothesis is that if we start early, we can affect those things.”

Yet Hemmeter’s research has found that teachers use fewer than half of all the best possible tools for these ideas — and that one-on-one coaching is the best way to make real changes in a classroom.

Kirby has helped engineer changes, seeing the differences almost daily.

She almost always finds a moment to praise how the children play with the popular toy airplane. It’s relatively new and one of a kind in the classroom, so it had attracted the occasional tug-of-war.

Nowadays, Kirby usually hears the children touting how they played with it, taking turns.

About Cold Case: Muncie

Debuting in 2010, Cold Case: Muncie is a recurring Star Press series that re-examines unsolved murders — some notable, some forgotten except to the family and friends of the victims — from the Muncie area over the past several decades.

The series, by Douglas Walker and Keith Roysdon, won the award for best news series in 2011 from the Indiana Society of Professional Journalists. An initial cold case story, marking the 25th anniversary of the Westside Park murders in 2010, won the 2011 Kent Cooper Award from the Indiana Associated Press.

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Pre-K classes teach kids how to be 'Super Friends'

'Super Friends' is a superhero-themed method of teaching social skills, friendship and cooperation that has received special attention in some Nashville preschool classrooms.