Live Report – SNL

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>>>ACTION 9 NEWS AT 5:00. EYE ON TAMPA.
>>GOOD EVENING. I’M BETH RUNYON.
>>AND I’M JACK TRASK. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT, PANIC IN
DOWNTOWN TAMPA. A 70-FOOT-WIDE SINKHOLE OPENED
UP IN A WESTFIELD SHOPPING CENTER PARKING LOT.
>>ACTION 9’S NEIL McNABB IS LIVE ON THE SCENE, NEIL?
>>THANK YOU, BETH. QUITE A CHAOTIC SCENE HERE.
EMERGENCY CREWS ARE WORKING HARD TO ASSESS THE DAMAGE.
FORTUNATELY NO ONE WAS SERIOUSLY HURT, INCLUDING THESE TWO
SHOPPERS. CAN YOU TELL US WHAT HAPPENED?
>>YEAH. SORRY, I’M STILL SHAKING.
I WAS WALKING TOWARDS MY CAR. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT SORT OF
FELT LIKE THE GROUND WAS MELTING.
>>YEAH, CARS FELL IN, IT WAS CRAZY.
I’M JUST VERY HAPPY MY WIFE AND I ARE OKAY.
>>THIS IS YOUR WIFE?>>UH, YES.
>>YOU TWO ARE MARRIED TO EACH OTHER?
>>YES, SIR.>>JUST MAKING SURE I HEARD THAT
RIGHT. WELL.
A CLOSE CALL HERE TODAY FOR THIS MULTI-MILLIONAIRE AND
HIS LOVELY WIFE.>>OH, I’M NOT A MILLIONAIRE.
>>OH, I APOLOGIZE. I ASSUMED THAT YOU WERE A VERY
WEALTHY MAN.>>YEAH, I WISH.
SHE’S KIND OF THE BREADWINNER IN OUR HOUSE.
>>WELL, WE’RE A TEAM AND IF I FELT WEIRD ABOUT BEING THE MAIN
INCOME EARNER, I WOULDN’T HAVE MARRIED A PUPPETEER.
>>HE’S A PUPPET — I’M SORRY I YELLED.
JUST A LOT HAPPENING.>>SO IF YOU CAN HEAR ME THROUGH
THE MONITOR THERE, DID YOU SEE HOW MANY VEHICLES FELL INTO THE
SINKHOLE?>>AND ALSO, SIR, I’M WONDERING
IF YOU HAVE FAMOUS PARENTS OR SOMETHING?
>>IT’S A LITTLE LOUD, YOU ASKED HOW MANY CARS FELL IN?
I GUESS SEVEN OR EIGHT?>>INCLUDING OUR KIA SPORTAGE.
>>YOU DRIVE THIS SMOKESHOW AROUND IN A KIA SPORTAGE?
>>ARE YOU MAD AT ME, SIR?>>NO, NO, I’M JUST A LITTLE
OVERWHELMED BY THE SCENE HERE TODAY.
STILL A LOT OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS.
I’M LIVE IN DOWNTOWN TAMPA WITH, I’M SORRY, WHAT’S YOUR NAME?
>>MATT SHATT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>YOUR NAME IS MATT SHATT?>>UH, YES SHATT WITH TWO “Ts.”
>>DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY BETTER. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND YOU’RE MARRIED TO THIS WOMAN?
WHOSE NAME IS?>>ALEXANDRA KENNEDY-SHATT.
>>SHE’S A KENNEDY. AND SHE PUT A SHATT ON IT.
[ LAUGHTER ] BACK TO YOU!
>>YOU’D THINK WITH THE LAST NAME SHATT HE’D GO WITH MATTHEW,
RIGHT?>>YEAH, I DON’T KNOW.
JOINING US NOW VIA WEBCAM IS CAL TECH SEISMOLOGY PROFESSOR REED
DODDEN WHO’S AN EXPERT ON SINKHOLES.
PROFESSOR, WHAT CAUSES SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN?
>>WELL, IT VARIES. MOST LIKELY THEY WERE CHILDHOOD
FRIENDS WHO GREW UP TOGETHER AND THAT BLOSSOMED INTO A ROMANCE
OVER TIME. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>I BELIEVE YOU’RE REFERRING TO THE COUPLE THAT WAS JUST
INTERVIEWED. I WAS ASKING ABOUT THE SINKHOLE.
>>OH, IT’S PRETTY MUCH ALWAYS UNDERGROUND WATER.
>>OKAY. NEIL, ANY SIGN OF WATER DAMAGE
DOWN THERE?>>OH, ABSOLUTELY.
WE CAN JUST PAN DOWN A LITTLE, RICK.
YOU’LL SEE THAT THERE’S SOME MUD AND OH MY GOD.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
MATT SHATT IS WEARING CROCS AND SOCKS.
HE’S MARRIED TO THE LORD’S MISTRESS.
AND HE’S WEARING CROCS. WITH SOCKS.
SENDING IT BACK TO YOU IN THE STUDIO!
>>OKAY WELL, WE WILL UPDATE YOU AS THAT SITUATION DEVELOPS.
WE NOW TURN TO KAREN HOFFSTEDDER WITH SPORTS.
BIG GAME THIS WEEKEND.>>YEAH, BUCS PLAYING THE
BRONCOS. OKAY, I GOT TWO THEORIES.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
ONE, THIS DUDE MATT IS PACKING A TREE TRUNK IN HIS PANTS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] OR TWO, HE KIDNAPPED HER AND SHE
GOT STOCKHOLM SYNDROME. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>I’M SORRY, WE CAN STILL HEAR YOU.
AND FOR THE RECORD, I’M WITH MY HUSBAND BECAUSE HE IS ONE OF THE
STRONGEST MEN I’VE EVER MET. MOST MEN WOULD BE MAD AT THE
WORLD IF THEY WERE BORN WITH JUST TESTICLES AND NO PENIS.
NOT MY MATT SHATT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>NEIL McNABB REPORTING LIVE. FROM A WORLD THAT NO LONGER
MAKES SENSE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>THANK YOU, NEIL. QUITE A SITUATION IN DOWNTOWN
TAMPA.>>YEAH.
AND THERE’S THAT SINKHOLE TOO. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]