As you may know, we at The Humboldt Consequential are truly sick individuals and actually pay attention to/sometimes watch live streams of government meetings here in Humboldt County.

Today, alas, the portion of the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors’ meeting that we were most interested in was held in closed session, meaning it was forbidden for members of the public to know exactly what was going on in the Supes’ chambers.

No, we don’t think the closed sessions of the Stupidvisor’s are secret fight-club like meetings where Mark Lovelace and Virginia Bass finally exorcise all of their pent-up, hatred-fueled sexual angst. (Although we did hear rumors a while back of a few of the Supervisors going toe-to-toe to settle their differences: did you see the video?)

In fact, we think the closed sessions are much more disturbing than that. (Also, our deepest apologies for any images of a Lovelace-Bass union that popped into your head.)

You see, over the months of 2015, the Board of Supervisors have been meeting almost constantly with Labor Negotiator Dan Fulks. Dan Fulks, also the director of Human Resources – an employee of Humboldt County – is responsible for negotiating all sorts of stuff that benefit employees of Humboldt County. See where this is going?

Mr. Fulks – who in 2013 was paid a salary of $138,642.18, along with receiving benefits of $34,100.79, for a grand total of $172,742.97, according to TransparentCalifornia.com – is the guy who represents county workers in their contract negotiations with the county. Doesn’t that seem awfully fishy?

But the bullshit doesn’t stop there, folks. Below, we’ve taken the liberty of listing a few other county officials who seem to have benefited particularly from Mr. Fulks’ golden-tongue. For example (all compensation info pulled from TransparentCalifornia):

2012 earnings – $182,797.90 ; 2013 earnings – $221,095.63 (over a 20% increase, pretty good for the guy who’s responsible for telling the Board of Supervisors how to run the budget – I wonder how he told them he wanted such a big raise? Probably with a big smile, since he makes over twice what the Supervisors do!)

2012 earnings – $152,706.04 ; 2013 earnings – $215,840.71 (over a 40% increase, but okay, Humboldt County has been really good at catching and releasing criminals over the last few years so maybe he earned it – lots of probationers!)

Last but not least, The Patron Saint of the Department of Health and Human Services, Phillip R. Crandall:

2012 earnings – $208,302.14 ; 2013 earnings – $249,223.63 (nearly a 20% increase, not bad for a guy who single-handedly drove our health services into the toilet over his 15 year directorship)

This small sampling of upper-government greed in the face of extremely harsh financial times for our entire county is just the tip of the iceberg folks. Need we remind you, the average income for an entire household in Humboldt is about $44,000. Can’t believe that? Well, check it out!

Tune in tomorrow for a handy dandy graph demonstrating these differences, and maybe even a picture of the demon spawn that is the product of the unholy Bass-Lovelace union.

Ur constant use of the transparent California website, a website run by ONE person and an intern, combined with your utter inability to understand what you are reading makes your analysis worthless. Either your intentionally misleading people or you’re an idiot … And those things are not mutually exclusive.

We are saddened to hear that you disapprove of Transparent California. Sure, there may be only a couple of people behind it, but we think the work they are doing is great, and a huge service to California’s voting public.

Now, we never claimed to be particularly smart people ourselves, so – while ignoring that you stayed up wayyy past your bed time to call us idiots (my wife would agree with ya!) and also made your grammar school teachers very sad with your misuse of possessive adjectives – we will bite on your commment.

In your opinion, how are we misrepresenting the info from Transparent California? What is your analysis of the same stuff? We really want to know!

Hey Jay,
How about some specifics there? Are the wages incorrect because it is run by a fucking stupid intern? Are they not accurate because the dumbass consequential doesn’t understand? I’m no CPA, but the headings “regular pay” and “other pay” and “benefits” looks strikingly similar to the ones on my paystub, so it does not seem to confusing to me at all. Maybe it’s all different and complicated in government land and you make a good point, so please dumb this down for me and all the other jackasses who don’t get it.

Smith-Hanes; now THERE’S a humpty dumpty. He should have taken that job in Florida when he had the chance to do so. He’d be much happier in south beach wearing a thong on his roller skates, and our Taxpayers would have been able to hire someone who actually knows how to do an audit without having to figure out whether to scratch his watch or wind his A_ _.