Normally I don’t have much truck with horoscopes, but this week’s horoscopes from The Eye include a promising gem for any of you who happen to be Aries:

As it turns out, this year, Aries, you get some really cool presents. And romance looks especially good for you — a little on the nasty side, too. Someone wants to teach you a lesson and you’re more than willing to be taught. Spanking is involved.