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SPARC (Atlanta, GA) and Conchetta House (Olympia, Washington) are working on a project to benefit single parents across the nation. One aspect of the project is to make recommendations for programs and policies that will improve our lives and that of our children. We need your help.

There is a growing trend among parenting experts that encourages parents to befriend their children. The benefit of this philosophy is that children will feel that their parents are on their side and will be more likely to respond positively to correction. Traditional parenting methods suggest that parents maintain a more authoritative role in their children’s lives. Is it possible for parents to be their children’s friend? Do they have to sacrifice a certain amount of authority in exchange for friendship? Is that in fact, in their children’s best interest? Can you ride the line of friend and authority figure without sacrificing either?

Sex. Drugs. Alcohol. Violence. Aids. Relationships. All tough topics but important ones that must be discussed with our children. How do we approach these difficult topics and handle them in an age appropriate manner?

There is a difference between males and females. As long as we continue to try to raise our sons knowing only female culture, we are doing them a disservice. Learning and understanding male culture will go a long way towards your ability to help your son navigate this culture and develop a strong character.

The crisis facing our boys today is the subject of much debate. Since a large number of them are being raised by single mothers, this crisis is close to a single mother’s heart. I have faced many single mothers of sons and the same frustrated sentiment seems to echo – I don’t know what’s wrong with him! The same boys that were such loving creatures what seems like just yesterday are now getting into trouble at school, failing or at risk of academic failure, disrespecting their mothers and showing no signs of the lovable little boys they once were. While their mothers are at a loss, answers must still be found.

“The culture of schools, especially for young children, is much more feminine than masculine. There are almost no male early childhood educators. Many teachers of young children find boys’ interests in violence, gross things, and bodily functions to be boring or stupid. We need to recognize that many of us have ‘internal prejudices’ against these interests. Just as we used to ask ourselves in the ’70s, ‘In what ways am I being sexist in my treatment of girls?’ we now have to ask, ‘In what ways are we disapproving of boys’ interests in our classrooms?'”

Dads, you have a great deal of influence over the healthy development of your daughters. You have the power to influence their self esteem, their sense of independence and their healthy body image. With this much influence, what does your daughter need from you to develop to her fullest potential?

Of all of the consequences that can be applied when negative behaviors appear, the most important aspect of any plan must use consistency as its foundation. If children are not sure that they will face a consequence for misbehaving, they could be tempted to “roll the dice” and see what happens. It is only when they are sure that the first time and every time they show the behavior that they will face a consequence will your disciplinary plan have any meaning.

It is important to remember that positive reinforcement will not eliminate the need for providing consequences for negative behavior. It is to be used as part of an overall comprehensive plan for consistent and effective discipline for the overall health and strength of your family.

Every moment between you and your child will not be full of hugs and kisses, especially moments that involve discipline. However, if the relationship between you and your child is intact, you will be able to weather any storm.

With the recent increase in the numbers of children born to single mothers, a great deal of attention has been focused on the single parent family, specifically those headed by single mothers. Some of this attention has not been so nice with some of the outcry suggesting that single mothers should be somewhere cowering in shame. Articles suggest that the social stigma against out of wedlock birth has all but disappeared thereby lessening the shame and contributing to the rise in single motherhood. Here is my question…why shame for a single mother? Should a woman be ashamed of her single parent status?

A popular stance is — either you are a good parent or you are not. You cannot learn to be a good parent. Parents who have taken parenting classes, however would disagree. There is a great deal of value in taking a parenting class, no matter your situation.

Let’s be real. Sometimes as single parents, we find ourselves out of time. It also seems like sometimes our children can pick the absolute worst times to talk. As busy, tired, and overwhelmed as we are, it is still important to remember that children, all children, need to know they are listened to. It’s even more important for them to know that we are listening.

Hey Dads! Did you know that you are the fastest growing segment of the single parent population? If the stereotype of a man refusing to ask for directions even when he is lost is true, what does a father do when faced with raising a child alone?

As a single mother of sons, I challenge you to begin to watch television with new eyes. Pay special attention to the way men are portrayed on television these days, especially in sitcoms. You will be surprised…and not pleasantly.