Dashiell Bennett

One of the great ironies of life is that the more money you make, the more stuff you get for free. It's the only reason rich people leave the house. So what do they get for going to the ESPYs?

The MacDonald-free award show airs on Sunday and will be filmed tonight, but first they producers had to get pro athletes and celebrities to show up and pretend they care. LAist has a list of some of the bait: