As a Life Storyteller, Dr Zabrina A. Bakar or better known as Sis Zabrina by her readers is the Author of Bestselling Motivational Book Series 'Life is an Open Secret'. Her motivational stories are based on true life daily happenings. Her writings are grounded in spirituality and the aim of her stories is for the reflection of minds and hearts of her readers. For her, Islam is easy to follow, simple, relevant and complete.
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Monday, March 27, 2006

The frog that climbs the wall - A Motivational Story About Believing in Yourself

Bismillaah

As Salaamu 'alaykum and peace to all,

That day i attended a luncheon party with some of my girlfriends. Some of us have not seen each other for months. So, naturally, yackity, yackity yack, we go on and on. Exchanging stories, updates, few laughters and tears between us. That is the bonding of friendship that we have, and , more importantly, sisterhood.

Then, one of my friend told us that she is quiting her studies. We were stunned. She said that she is overwhelmed with work and family. "But you are almost there already!" I told her. "No, i cant do it!" " I am tired" "Everyday when i come back home, there is this baby, the house, cooking, laundry and then i had to study"

"Ok, granted. It is very challenging to be alive. But, come on, you can take vitamins, energy drinks, sent the kid to babysitter, buy food instead of cooking,blah blah blah" was what we told her.

"But, it is so difficult, i still have to clean the house, iron the clothes, sweep the floor blah blah blah" came the response.

Ok,ok.. what do we have here?

That incident made me think. The challenge of being a woman. Maybe superwoman. Be honest. We have to ask ourselves. When we are faced with something, do we want to do it or not? Period. There is only one answer. Yes or No. And both answers bring you to different paths in life.

When there is a will, there will be a way. No shortcuts to success. No escalator to the top floor. You have to climb up. Just like everyone else. If you find an escalator, you might reach the top the easy way, but, then, you wont have enough 'exercise' as compared to the real stairs climbers! They would have strong leg muscle than you, they would have better heart than you, they would have stronger lungs than you and so on and so forth. Come the next challenge to climb stairs, guess who would win? You, the escalator guy or you, the stairs climbers? Hah!

Let me tell you a story about mind over matter...

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....

The race began....

Honestly:

No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

or:

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo , were climbing higher and higher....

The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic.... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!

More importantly, you must NOT be the ONE who tell yourself you cant do it! It is bad enough that people around you give you negative thoughts, you should not be joining their club! Always remember that. Do not sabotage yourself, your life, your dream...

Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

That is why Islam has taught us to always utter good words

694. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "A good word is sadaqa." [Agreed upon] Riyad as-Salihin

We are also reminded that it is important to be a positive influencer to others no matter how small it may be...

695. Abu Dharr said, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to me, "Do not think little of anything which is right, even just showing your brother a cheerful face. [Muslim]

Islam has long established the importance of psychology and its impact on human behaviour.Therefore: ALWAYS be.... POSITIVE! And above all: Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

More importantly, by uttering good words we can be saved from the hellfire!

693. 'Adi ibn Hatim reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Protect yourselves from the Fire, even if with only half a date. If you cannot manage even that, then with a good word." [Agreed upon] Riyad as-Salihin

Be the little frog which defies the negative thinking by being deaf to them and not sabotaging yourself! Breep! Breep!

I would like to bring out a totally different aspect of this post which i don't think you considered sister. Well your friend wants to quit her studies because of the family so should she? child upbringing is also a virtuous and obligatory aspect of Islam. I am just too confused with this aspect and would appreciate opinions..you can read more at http://shaarique.blogspot.com/2006/02/women.html

I totally agree with you on that point. I read the article you wrote and it was wonderful. Please read my comment on it there. Back to my friend, if the reason for quitting the study is totally to focus on her family, by all means i will support her. But, from the way it was expressed, it is more like an escapism, or quitting from her part, that was the sad thing about it. She is just two semester short from graduating. Dont you think that is worth sacrificing for? The money, time and effort already spend for years? Of course, this is very subjective issue and in the end, we will support whatever decision that she chooses, coz that is what friends are for. If she chooses to graduate, her new degree would bring higher income to her family and of course, that could allow her to contribute and help her husband in the end. Allaahu 'alam

Wale kum assalam sister Zabrina,Thanks for the appreciation :) I think your friend should continue her education. But on the other hand i can imagine her dilemma and how tough it would be for her managing her family and studies. Btw what course is she in?and regariding your post on my blog i do agree with the superwomen notion :) husbands expect much more and that's the reason of disagreement between them. I pray to Allah that every couple realiese their responsibilities and carry out things according to Islam. Ameen.