Thursday, January 31, 2008

To asshat #1 - If your dog craps in the middle of the street, and you SEE a woman walking with a stroller behind you, PICK THE SHIT UP. Don't just roll your eyes and move along. May you slip on ice, and land, ass down in a big pile of dog poo left by some other asshat, and maybe you'll think twice before being an irresponsible dog owner.

To asshat #2 - Yeah, lady, I KNOW it's cold and my kid should wear gloves. Got a staple gun handy? because it's the ONLY way she'll wear them. But thanks for sharing your excellent parenting advice, because it's obvious you currently do not live with a toddler.

Monday, January 21, 2008

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Narda and I took Malka out in the freezing bitter wind, to the 28th precinct of Manhattan, and got our fingerprinting done, to further our own little microcosm of the dream, and come one step closer to adopting a sibling for Malka.

Here is the text of the entire speech that Dr. King made. Read it, take it to heart, and become your own Dream...

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "For Whites Only". We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Friday, January 18, 2008

But I feel, as I've gotten older (ugh...) that it's been getting harder and harder for me to go to bed at a decent hour. Lately? it's been no earlier than 1am.

But after Malka goes to bed around 8, I like to chill out with Narda for a bit before getting to my chores. The problem is when the chill time stretches a bit longer and longer, so I usually don't get to the chores until 11pm or so. Now until then, I'm either surfing the web, or sewing, or just watching TV. And I like that time to "unwind" from the day. It's nice when I jump right into the chores after the cheeky goes to bed, and then I have the rest of the evening to "play," but I really should be getting my sorry ass to bed earlier, because although I don't mind staying up late every so often, my old theatre days are far behind me, and the cheeky? She still gets up around 6:30 or so, and I'm starting to drink a bit more coffee, when I had weaned myself down to about 2 cups per day...

I remember when my bubbe z"l was alive, and I'd be amazed that she'd stay awake until midnight or later, and then get up at 5am. I think I just need a "day off," where I go spend the night at Bobby's, and have NO alarm, cheeky or otherwise, just so I can figure out if this is turning into insomnia, if it's just a phase my body is going through, or what.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

If you do the math, our child is an amazon. Seriously? She weighs as much as she is tall. Erp. That's 99th percentile for height, and above the 100th percentile for weight. That means that 100% of children in her age range weigh less than her. But yet, she's not a total chunker, she's just SOLID. Massively. SOLID.

Oy.

Her lovely doctor has no worries about her developmentally, and even doesn't mind her size. She just wants us to limit her all day grazing, and try to limit her snacks a bit more, to try and give her eating a bit more structure. We are fine with that. She was fine with Malka's paci use - as it's just for sleeping - naps and bedtime. As for potty training, we should follow Malka's lead, which as of now? Means when she's in high school. The kid has NO interest in the potty, other than to point out when Narda and I use it: "Eemah potty? Mommy potty?" "Yes, Malka, Eemah potty."

Her numbers did come back slightly anemic, so we are swapping out her children's vitamin for one with iron in it. I'm going to start using my cast iron skillet a LOT more often, and I'll make some molasses cookies. And we'll see what her levels are like in 6 months. They want to rule out dietary changes and make sure it's just that simple.

Malka has always run a little on the hard end of the spectrum when it comes to poop, despite a fiber-rich diet, and now with the addition of iron, her doctor had us pick up some benefiber, and add a teaspoon to her morning "meetz," aka, watered down OJ.

So we'll keep you posted as to how the cheeky reacts to all of this intestinal change...

As for the motherhood discussions floating about, I want to have time think more on it. We tried to get pregnant for over 2 years, and ultimately, decided that adoption was the route for us. It was more important to us to be parents, than to have a birth experience, or a genetic link. For those of you that have met our family in person, you will no doubt trust that Malka knows who her eemahot are. So for us, with neither one being the bio-mom, there's no sense of feeling threatened, or feeling like the dad, or any of those things. We have our own unique situations that come up. I am the primary caretaker, and Malka does have a preference for me over Narda. But only when we are together. When Narda and Malka are alone, it's "eemah who?" But as a threesome, I am the preferred parent. Does this put Narda in the "dad" role? No. Does any of it matter? I don't think so. One thing that Narda has brought up in the past, is that our general assumptions of fatherhood tend to be around men who "opt out" of decision making and child-rearing preferences, and she often feels that with two women, you innately have two people interested in the minutiae of how your child is raised. And that is where conflicts can arise. Sure there are resentments, and frustrations, and joy and bliss, but in the the day to day, it often feels like in a hetero couple, the 'dad" often is less interested in the nitty gritty. And that's where we see the differences. Now again, we also know some awesome dads out there, too, and they are just as much a 100% participant in the raising of their children, and in fact, we know 2 stay at home dads, where the mom is the breadwinner. So I'm just talking about my own generalized assumptions about the population en masse, and not about individuals or our friends.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I swear to you, that if a WOMAN becomes the next president of the United States, Change will indeed happen.

Now if we could only convince world conflicts to be solved by jumping on the bed.

Nothing makes me happier than the top two contenders for the presidency being a black man and a woman. Look at how far we've come, albeit how far we still have to go, but look at how far we've come. Women have only had the right to vote for 87 years. The voting rights act was passed in 1965. Narda's mother was 30 years old before she was ALLOWED to vote.

Now THAT's something.

Now Obama? He's a good speaker, and we like him well enough, but we are giving Hillary our vote. Not only will she give Narda and I a much closer shot at getting married in our lifetime, but she also has proven she's a hard worker. We have the chance to elect a woman to the highest position of power in the free world. How awesome is that?!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Someone commented to me one day that I'd "lost weight." I said to them, "Well, not since Thanksgiving." I thought, for SURE I had gained 8-12 pounds. But as you can see from my ticker, I've only gained about 5 pounds since early November. Sure, it's a gain, but I'm trying to not beat myself up (a favorite task), and say to myself - WOW! it could have been SO much more. I DID carry Weight Watchers around with me, in the back of my head. A bit. I made healthier choices at the gazillion "all-you-can-eat-holiday-parties-and-soires" that we went to this season. And we hosted one this am, a playdate for Malka's 2 boyfriends from daycare, and we go to Uncle Bobby's for MORE yummy food tomorrow.

But. I'm back to tracking. And that's something. Because when I track what I eat, it works.

Speaking of tracking, Narda and I worked on our budget for 2008. Erm. OK - can y'all help convince us that we NEED Cable - we get a bulk discount for our building, and it comes down to about 95 bucks for basic cable, and Internet. It could be WAY more expensive if we didn't have the "building bulk" discount, but really, we are trying to cut the fiscal fat, too, as we work on our journey to child #2. We just HAVE to save more. So we have to cut the financial fat. We are pretty frugal, but we know we could cut our long distance, cable, be more vigilant about cooking at home, and about comparison shopping for groceries.

I LURVE me some Amy Dacyzyn (and if you don't know who she is, go google her!), so as far as how to stretch what we have, I'm ALL over it. But I'm also open to ideas about MORE ways to "stretch" those dollars - for example, do any of you have those "green plugs," and if so, do they REALLY work? We are half fluorescent, and half incandescent - I CANNOT have my bedside lamp as fluorescent - I'd scream. But I'm into hearing about off the wall methods, like caulking inside your outlet boxes. So all of that cool stuff, I'm open - share, share, share.

Because the fat? She needs to be cut this year.

In more ways than one.

Happy 2008, may it bring you joy, love, and all that you are willing to work for.