British public ‘elated but exhausted’ after trying to watch cycling for a week

Thousands of Brits have expressed their delight at Bradley Wiggins’ Tour de France win, but also admitted that they are ‘mentally and physically drained’ after pretending to be interested in cycling for a whole week.

‘It was a long, hard slog. The highlights alone were tough going, and the live coverage was probably the most gruelling thing I’ve ever done’, said newly converted cycling ‘fan’ Jim Westing from Stoke. ‘I got through it in the end though. The commentators said that Wiggins had made history, so I’m glad I was there to pretend to be happy for him.’

Westing gave some insight into how tough the ordeal had been. ‘I had no fucking idea what was going on most of the time, but the important thing is that some bloke I’d never heard of a couple of weeks ago won’, he explained. ‘And it’s all good practice for the Olympics, where I can continue to watch obscure events just because somebody British might win something I don’t really give a shit about.’