LETTER: Being a foster mother

I was 16 when I married my husband, he joined the military and we had our first child. I decided to foster teenage girls because I remember several people telling me (like them) I was never going to amount to anything. But I did.

Dictionary.com defines “foster mother” as the following: “a woman who takes the place of a mother in raising a child.” I respectfully disagree; it is not my job to “replace” anything in the child’s life, but to add to the child’s life. The love, support and understanding that is given to a child should not be conditional on if they are going to be with you for years or hours; but should be given unconditionally under all circumstances.

Being a foster mother means loving a child, building their self-esteem and being there to support their dreams. It’s about preparing them to fly, watching them fall and then building them back up for their next flight. It is about advocating for a young child that may know too much about pain and injustice. It is about building an unbreakable connection with the child that they will be able to hold on to for the rest of their lives, and no one (time or thing) will be able to take it away from them or you. Its about knowing and believing that being a mother is the greatest gift that can be given or received.

May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, a reminder of the greatest gifts in my life and how thankful I am for all my children. We are proud parents of two children ages 8 and 11 and two 16-year-old foster daughters.

To learn more about becoming a foster or adoptive parent, visit youthvillages.org.