To send or not to send? Papyrus displays Christmas cards in the window of its store on Greenwich Avenue in Greenwich, Conn.

To send or not to send? Papyrus displays Christmas cards in the window of its store on Greenwich Avenue in Greenwich, Conn.

Photo: Tyler Sizemore, Hearst Connecticut Media

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How to stage your family photo? This Texas family has been sending out Christmas cards with family photos included for 69 years — this holiday will mark their 70th and final holiday greeting card.

How to stage your family photo? This Texas family has been sending out Christmas cards with family photos included for 69 years — this holiday will mark their 70th and final holiday greeting card.

Photo: Kim Brent, Kim Brent/The Enterprise

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Go ahead and embrace the holiday card

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I wake up after the election to a wide, blue, Bay day — and black crows screeching in the oak tree. Two tentative words in my diary: holiday cards. I cross them out. What’s the use of cloying sentiments and winterscapes when many of us are still clashing with friends and family who voted against us?

Haven’t we given up on holiday cards, anyway? Everyone I know reports the number received is way down — Dad says their 15-year-old hanging string gets shorter every year. “Stick a photo on Facebook and call it a day,” I’ve been saying the last couple of years, as though I had a choice by that late hour.

Then still-squawking crows draw my attention to our mailbox and I skip down. Call me superficial but there’s nothing like a flipped-up red flag on a mailbox to pique your shopping interest and release you from Escher-like loops of political analysis ...

Among the catalogs is a stack of holiday card options. Palm Press’ luminous Bay Area photographs, like kayaks forming a peace sign near the Golden Gate Bridge. Ornament cards from San Francisco’s Minted. Millbrae company Paper Culture will plant a tree with every order. And, one of my favorites, the retro charming Rifle Paper Co. will illustrate your face and frame it Victoriana style on botanical wallpaper.

But now I feel a strange pressure. The range of offerings, together with living in the age of apps like Facetune, which will instantly whiten your teeth and erase the turkey neck, means there’s no excuse for your holiday card not to look stunning.

And does this mean people still care about real cards? I ask the question on Facebook and many of my friends rush to say yes! to the sending and receiving and sharetheir card-writing traditions — one travels to Bethlehem, Conn., and hand-stamps all her cards before sending them out. My friend Cynthia says, “I had to explain to my daughter how to buy stamps and address an envelope. So I am holding onto the holiday tradition with both hands!”

Being the hard-hitting journalist I’m paid the big bucks for, I then ask: What’s the most cringe-worthy card you’ve ever received? There are no “bad” cards a friend says, although one ranted about a dreadful daughter-in-law and how the marriage wouldn’t last.

Inspired by all this positivity, I book a photographer for a family photo. I can hear the eye rolls from the kids two rooms away; the last photographer persuaded us to wear white and strike formal, unsmiling poses. “So pretentious,” my eldest kept muttering, and he was right — the photos have remained unseen by another human eye.

Most of us want to avoid a trying-too-hard photo, but the truth is, a harmonious group image takes planning and that’s why I end up asking stylist and model Chelsea Martin for advice.

Firstly, Martin says, pick an overall feel; say, polished or casual. And a style; say, all-American or bohemian. If you opt for neutrals, do a range — gray, clay, white and tan. Instead of everyone in jeans, add tan and olive chinos. Vary textures to create complexity. In the classic beach scene dressed all in white, pick differing fabrics such as silk, cotton, linen, knits.

Martin shows me how to create a flattering silhouette. We sway slightly from side to side as if in a dance: feet apart, arms away from the torso (but not the stiff hands on hips) lips parted to avoid the forced grin.

Then we move onto specifics. I’m keen on that wild color and pattern Dries van Noten vibe, but after Martin shows snaps of me in my patterned pants (phat’ning!) I reach for my dark jeans. Martin likes a dark high-waist jean showing some ankle, rather than ones with rips, whiskers or studs, which will date. A demi-tucked shirt softens the line.

As she disappears out the door Martin’s last words are, “Don’t overthink it.” Of course, I don’t have to tell you that none of this matters if you’re happy with a quick snap from your vacay. Your card is you, entirely, even if you use quotes suggested by a paper company.

Whatever words and image we choose, the holiday card has always been more than a slice of paper, a stamp and a scribbled address. And the truth is, this year it’s become even more important.