Monday, November 9, 2009

Welcome to Leg 8! Last time, on If We’re Going to Holland, I’m Going Dutch, teams flew from Dubai to Amsterdam, The Netherlands, where Ericka found out that she has a counting problem, Sam and Dan run really fast in their underwear, the Globetrotters can break it down even while wearing dresses and wooden shoes, and Maria has no upper body strength. None. Whatsoever. Which is why Tiffany does all roadblocks, and why the girls couldn’t complete the Detour and were eliminated by default. And who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

9:33 PM Sam/Dan (1st)Clue: Fly to Stockholm, Sweden! Teams now fly 700 miles and use train and ferry transportation to get themselves to Tivoli Gröne Lund and find the tallest ride in the amusement park, Fritt Fall. You have $220 for this leg of the race.

9:48 PM Meghan/Cheyne (2nd)10:32 PM Flight Time/Big Easy (3rd) – It’s Flight Time’s birthday in this episode.11:08 PM Gary/Matt (4th)1:38 AM Brian/Ericka (5th) – we finally find out that the reason for them running the race is to show Ericka’s mother that Brian is a good husband and they make a good couple. You know, because he’s a little white boy. (Toyouke: “Oo, Brian and Ericka were really behind.”)

Teams drive themselves to Schipol Airport (Auburnium0513: “I wish our airport had sunflowers at the entrance!”) and arrive in the following order:

When teams arrive, the airport is deserted. Meghan and Cheyne find out that KLM has two flights to Stockholm, 6:55 AM and 9:25 AM, and so they camp out. The first three teams get on the early flight, leaving the later flight for the other teams. So the flights are as follows:

(Toyouke: “Nooo! Oh wait, Gary and Matt > Brian and Ericka so I think that's OK. Please tell me they tried standby, though.”) Teams fly to Stockholm and catch their trains in the following order:

1- Sam/Dan – who mention that they want the Globetrotters gone because they are athletic. (Auburnium0513: “Really? The Harlem Globetrotters are athletic? I'm so glad you told me that! I never would have known otherwise!”)2- Meghan/Cheyne3- Flight Time/Big Easy4- Brian/Ericka5- Gary/Matt

It is important to note that the Hot Boys and Malibu Ken and Barbie are the only teams that make it on the same train.Teams then arrive at the ferries to the amusement park in the following order:

Teams now have to choose one member (isn’t that called a Roadblock? Whatever. Toyouke: “'One person from each team must ride the ride'...um...wouldn't that be a Roadblock then?” Kmanpat: “That’s what I thought!”) and they have to ride the Fritt Fall to find an arrow on the ground pointing the way to the next clue. The team member must be less than 6’4” and only has 15 seconds at the top of the ride to spot the arrow to the next clue. (Toyouke: “Good thing Mika's not here anymore.”)

Team members find the arrow in the following order:

1- Cheyne2- Sam3- Flight Time 4- Ericka5- Matt

Teams find the arrow and head to the next clue box in the following order:

Teams now must play the Roaming Gnome Ring Toss (ah, the obligatory gnome game!) and ring a gnome hat. If there is a gnome underneath, the teams must take that gnome with them to the pit stop, and the gnome also has their next clue on the bottom of the base. (Toyouke: “Stupid gnomes.” Auburnium0513: “Oh goody, the product placement gnome...”)

DETOUR:Nobel Dynamite OR Viking AlphabetIn both tasks, teams must make their way to Country Road 263.*Nobel Dynamite: Teams gear up in protective clothing, fill sandbags to build a bunker, with explosives and make an explosion in the side of a hill. This exposes a box which contains their next clue.*Viking Alphabet: Teams (apparently) would have decoded a message with an Ancient Viking alphabet that tells them to find Truveg the strong Viking to get their next clue, but no one did this, so it really doesn’t matter.

(Toyouke: “OK, this Detour name sucks ass. "Science or Spell". Done. Or I bet you have one too. Or we could call it "Blow Shit Up or Some Other Choice No One Is Going To Pick Because Blowing Shit Up Is Way More Fun." Kmanpat: “I was thinking Nobel or Norse.” Toyouke: “I mean, I know you have to fill sandbags or whatever, but what boy is going to turn down explosives? OK, you might.” Kmanpat: “No, I want to blow things up. Finally, a task for my useless knowledge about Alfred Nobel inventing dynamite!”)

1-Meghan/Cheyne choose Nobel Dynamite – and they decide to fill one bag at a time with the shovel.2-Sam/Dan choose Nobel Dynamite – they decide to use their hands and go two bags at a time. It’s faster.3-Flight Time/Big Easy choose Nobel Dynamite4-Brian/Ericka choose Nobel Dynamite – and Ericka doesn’t care that she’s getting dirty.5-Gary/Matt choose Nobel Dynamite – who promptly get lost. (Auburnium0513: “Oh I love listening to Pinky and the Brain reading Swedish street signs! It's funny because I know I'd be doing the same thing!”)

Teams are then instructed to drive themselves to Bögs Gård Farm to get their next clue.

And teams come to the eighth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:Who thinks they can spot a needle in a haystack?In this roadblock, one team member must unroll haybales to find a flag buried in seven of the 136 bales of hay in the field. Sound familiar? That’s because this is a Switchback, a task previously performed on the race in the same location. This one is from TAR6, causing the elimination of Lena and Kristy, who unrolled hay bales for eight hours without finding the flag. It was also the spot of Phil’s first elimination at a task. So, woot.

(Toyouke: “Anything but that Roadblock. Any other Roadblock. What about going back to IKEA? Making bricks? Eating meat? Soup? Caviar? Haul salt? Put on a suit of armor and lead a horse? I am willing to consider any other Roadblock to revisit. Just not that one. AND in the rain. Jesus. They didn't make it any easier.“)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Sam – who can’t get a moment’s peace from his brother. (Toyouke: “Yeah, shut up Dan. You have to dig through them. Seriously. How can you have watched enough TAR to remember this Roadblock and the 8 hours but not remember you have to dig through them?” Auburnium0513: “Dan, you are being so NOT supportive right now.”)2- Meghan3- Big Easy4- Brian5- Gary

After much hay bale unrolling, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Flight Time/Big Easy – who (according to Sam and Dan) are the luckiest people in the history in the race. Enough with the lists people!2- Meghan/Cheyne3- Brian/Ericka – (Toyouke: “Are you kidding me? How do they skate through all the damn time?”)4- Sam/Dan5- Gary/Matt

Teams get the flag and find that they must now travel by foot to the mat at Bögs Gård Farm, the PIT STOP of the eighth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated! (Toyouke: “Aww, the greeter is so adorable!”)

And Gary and Matt are. . . sorry to be told that the next leg will be tough because they have found the second of three nonelimination Pit Stops on the race and will encounter a Speed Bump in the next leg.

Next week: Teams are off to Estonia, where Matt can’t find a Candle-A-Bra, and it’s Gays versus Globes in a footrace deathmatch! (Toyouke: “My analysis? Manufactured drama and misleading previews. “) Until next time!

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I'm that annoying friend that always wants to talk all through the TV show, and you don't always get that mad because sometimes she's funnier than the actual show. Except that I won't drown out the dialogue.