Sunday, January 20, 2008

55 Days!

Calix stole the cap off of my tanning bed lotion. I just discovered this maybe..20 minutes ago as I was clearing off the books I've just read from my night table ready to be put on the big shelf. Lotion was everywhere..but mostly dripping down the back of the table and onto the floor. Lovely, thanks. I've looked and looked and still cannot find the cap anywhere. I am now the owner of an ever so classy bottle of tanning lotion. Surely there's another cap to something that's just about to be emptied that'll fit.

As I shelved the aforementioned books, I looked down and saw my photo albums a few shelves down. I got to thinking about how I have all kinds of pictures of me and a few exes in there. Many of them are of us kissing. Orion's stated quite a few times (2 days ago, even) it doesn't bother him in the least that I still have those pictures and that I also have an "exes box" (plane tickets..t-shirts..jewelry..letters..things of the such) tucked away in the shed with the spiders of many. I clearly never go through it..but it's there. I invested time in some of these people. They were a part of my *life* and I can't quite muster up the nerve to just..toss it yet. I'm still friendly with the majority of them. Some drop me lines from time to time to let me know of the fortunate..and unfortunate events that have been taking place in their lives. With a very few of them, I will forever have a bond of sorts for whatever reason. They were important to me at some point in my life and in some strange regard..they still are. I carry no romantic feelings whatsoever for any of them (and in a few cases I can't believe I ever did haha). Orion knows that. He understands that I'm just not ready to get rid of them yet. Even if they are just pictures and letters.

Well..not ready, that is, until tonight. I saw those albums and I pulled them from their places. I flipped through the pages sliding picture by picture of these people out of their uniformed spots. Quite the pile gathered (not that I have a whole lot of exes, please. Just a lot of pictures) before I looked at it, sighed..and then tossed them into the garbage.

Does anyone else out there have a box of exes? If you do..how does your spouse (or ya know..whoever) feel about it? Surely I'm not the only one.

4 comments:

I had a box. It had pictures and letters and other things in it that I thought were a big part of my life. A few years ago though I tossed it all realizing that Mike has really been the only one who truly cared for me and treated me the way I deserve to be treated.

I was kind of a pushover girlfriend for many and let them treat me not so nicely I guess because I didn't know someone out there could treat me like I deserved.

So yes I had a box but threw it out. I don't think Mike minded so much. I'm sure it would have bothered him if I was constantly looking through the box. I do have to say though, it would bother me if Mike had a box. But I'm a very jealous girl.

I have a box, but only of stuff between me and Adam Staley. Every card/letter he wrote to me while we were dating and during our marriage. I will always keep it, but for my children, not me. They were so young when we split up, and they've seen so much meanness between us (hey, that rhymed!) that I want them to have evidence that the two people who created them at one time loved each other like crazy. I think it will help them in their feelings about who they are in life. I think Adam Consolo knows about it, but I don't think he cares. Rather, I think he would completely understand. And it's not like the box ever comes out.

I had a box at one point of my ex husband for ONLY my kids...but then I realized that for one, he was and IS a piece of shit father, and was a HORRIBLE husband, and I would honestly rather not have the kids think he was..when in those pictures I once kept I MADE him be in them..to at one point make it seem like he was a good father when he NEVER was. Kevin only cared that I had kept it at that one point because Josh was such a piece a shit..when we talked about it..we both realized that really there is no point in keeping them for even the kids..cuz thats just a man I'd rather them forget..so there is now 1 single picture in there for them...so if they ever ask..its there..but I dread ever seeing it..because..BARFF!!!!!

About Me

I'm 30, married to a man of the US Army sorts. We have 2 boys Calix (8) and Maddox (6) and a girl, Kaydence (2) and while I don't claim to be the greatest mother in the world, I'm certainly doing the best that I can on the little sleep I get.