Ayahuasca In Peru & San Pedro Too

I just got back from a trip to Peru which included 3 Ayahuasca ceremonies, and one San Pedro. This journey was unlike anything I could have expected. Ayahuasca comes on fast and hard, but the Shaman determines before hand what the ceremony is about. The ceremonies are done in a very unique way. They take place in a round building, and during the ceremony people play and sing songs that are healing songs. Those in the ceremony can sing along, and the amazing part is that even some of the songs in a different language, I was able to sing. I'm not sure what happens there, but it seems like you become a part of a collective conciousness, and the words flow through the whole group.
At times it felt like the words were moving into parts of the body that needed it, and the feeling of joy just seemed to permeate every cell, but this was the first journey.
The first ceremony I went up for more Ayahuasca when we were told that we could. The second ceremony the Shaman gave me less than the first time when I mentioned that I needed more. The second ceremony was going to be one to kick up the shit, and it did, but not to me. The girl I went to Peru with went from a feeling of bliss to the abyss of hell. She was in that state for about 5 hours, and I was the one taking care of her. The Ayahuasca brought up things of her childhood that she didn't know were there, and showed her how they had made her become what she was. Not really the good things here. There was a lot of crying, fear, and confusion in this time. The end result is that she got rid of some big baggage, and found some answers to what was holding her back in life, but also what was driving her. All this said, I can do the same thing through hypnosiss with a lot less pain, but only with someone that wants to bring things to the surface. The Ayahuasca doesn't give you the options.
Come Ceremony 3, I got hit with the food posioning that struck 85% of our group. It didn't matter, because during the integration after the second ceremony, a voice came to me to tell me I didn't need Ayahuasca, which was reaffirmed by my friend having a dream that told her I didn't need it.
A few days later we went to Machu Picchu for a San Pedro Ceremony. The Shaman sang songs, and when ready we all went up for a cup. Both drinks are bitter, but I didn't mind the taste much at all. San Pedro is a male energy according to the Shaman, and Ayahuasca a female. The male energy wins on this one. It was gentle, came on slow, and was the most peaceful feeling while still totaly aware. It seemed to move through the body and mind in a way that let you ease into it, and enjoy without loosing yourself in the process. We sat looking over the grand city as the Sun moved across the landscape, giving us a new view with every passing minute.
It wouldn't be fare to tell this story without telling about the purging part. Ayahuasca is also known as the purge, and purge it does. Everyone had a bucket, and some used it way more than others. My first ceremony I made it through the whole ceremony without leaving the room. I knew I had some diarrea coming on, but everytime I thought about leaving another song would start and I couldn't leave the music. By the time I got to the bathroom I was on the pot for about 30 seconds when out of know where I puked in my mouth and found myself on my knees hugging porcelin. I don't know where this comes from, since we don't eat for hours before the ceremony. The geometric projection of bile is somewhat facinating really.
The next night I left to go to the bathroom, when again from no where, I took four steps from the building at was puking like a rock star!
My final answer to this is that my path in life is to concentrate more on meditation, and less on plant medicine. I like mushrooms a lot more than Ayahuasca, but San Pedro more than mushrooms. I can't say that I found some great answer to life in the ceremonies themselves, but the trip as a whole is the ceremony, and in that I found the meaning to life.
That might sound profound, but something in that time there changed everyone for long enough to see the truth. We live by our egos for the most part, but the ego filters things through an invisible field of sorts. We judge things, we want things, and the ego needs things to make it happy. On this journey I saw the ego of everyone disolve. Some completely, some just mostly. When the ego drives our vehicle it is in a hurry, reckless, and gets angry at anyone that gets in the way or slows us down, but whe gone, our essence gets to drive, and that's where we all got to.
The Essence is the ture self without agenda. It needs nothing to be happy, expects nothing from anyone, and loves unconditional. Sort of like being a dog. When in the essence of self there are no filters that regulate what you get or what you give. For 18 strangers our of 6 billion souls from the planet to come together at this one place and time, and for not one arguement the entire time, something had to be going on.
Living in the essence of self isn't easy in the world we live in, but I'm trying. One person who seemed to be doing this before he got there gave me the advice that each morning before you get out of bed, spend 15 minutes being thankful for all the things you have, and 5 minutes before going to bed review when you didn't live from the heart, but doing so without judging your self. It seems to be helping.
As a final note, Ayahuasca isn't anything I would recomend to take alone. Even if you are in a good mood, it doesn't matter. When you loose your shit, you are in it for the long haul and will need the help of others to make it through it. This is not a curiosity thing to do!

It didn't matter, because during the integration after the second ceremony, a voice came to me to tell me I didn't need Ayahuasca,

You got the message my friend, now its time to hang up the phone.I have gotten the same message about spirit teachers, Training wheels are an amazing tool as a kid, they teach you how to ride a bikeBut you never benefit from them until you take them off and learn to ride alone.

Wishy, think your post means 3 is a charm. Even with mushrooms I have found that they can open a door for you to see what's there, but it's not practical to rely on the plants. I like your training wheel analogy, and yes it is time to hang up the phone, I got the message.
Thanks

Well it might be different for everyone, you got to look at it as a lesson plan for the soul kinda. These are tools to show you certain fundamental truths that are inside us all, once you see and understand those, the job is done. I keep being told that i learned what i needed to, and to keep playing with these things is almost like trying to unlock the secrets of how this place works. It's not our job to figure out these secrets, that's not why we are here. All that knowledge you seek will come to you with your last breath, have faith in your inner light, god, supreme creator, it, what ever you want to call it. Remember that this being has the most unconditional love you can imagine, it wont punish you for ever using these tools again, it just cares about the progression of your soul and is trying to help you move forward. I'm always told though "no matter what you choose, ill always love you" which makes it even harder to do what it wants of me, ha! Good luck with what ever you choose my friend, you were shown the path though, now its up to you to either walk it or not.

I keep being told that i learned what i needed to, and to keep playing with these things is almost like trying to unlock the secrets of how this place works. It's not our job to figure out these secrets, that's not why we are here.

Amen to that. You can spend your whole life on the hunt and after awhile you just keep getting the same answer over and over. You are lucky to have gotten to see the answer for yourself. Its all inside all the time we just get so wrapped up with our outside self that we can loose sight and connection with the inside which is always there to guide us if we choose to listen. I have mantained my connection with Vipassana meditation and a few times a year when I feel like I am drifting to far away from myself I use the plants to get centered again. Trim the sails and keep moving forward....

I have mantained my connection with Vipassana meditation and a few times a year when I feel like I am drifting to far away from myself I use the plants to get centered again. Trim the sails and keep moving forward....

Raveneye, could you elaborate more on Vipassana meditation. Where did you learn it, and what is it about it that keeps you in the essence?

About the secrets of the universe. I know I have seen things that we should not see. When this happens you have to ask yourself what am I to do with this? What I have concluded is that you have to realize that life in itself is an illusion, and in that knowing you can allow yourself to become in control of the illusion your life plays out. It also helps to see how the collective consciousness plays a big role in how your life is going to be lived, until you can learn to observe and step aside from the control that the collective has over the geographic region in which it resides.

Vipassana is the meditation technique discovered and taught by Gotama the Budda. It is not Buddism, Gotama did not teach Buddism. It is a technique of observing the body at a very subtle level. The body is like a battery that stores up experiences and reactions to experiences. So many of our behaviors are based on past reactions to stimuli or our observation of others reacting to certian stimuli. This is a way to free ourselves from our old cycles of behavior patterns. I.E. dumping baggage. Anyway the way you learn is by going to a ten day Vipassana course taught by S.N. Goenka. Look it up and you will find a center near where you live. They only teach this at a course. After 10 days of no talking and observing yourself in a microscopic way, I felt like I had gone deeper than any of the hundreds of trips I have had so far in this body. Thats just me though everyone's on their own ride.

Shinzen Young has some great material on vipassana meditation. His lecture series "The Science of Enlightenment" is a pretty amazing perspective on meditation in general, and vipassana specifically. Well worth the listen.