Growing up in a big family, Jessica Valenti loved babies and always knew she wanted kids. But the stress of parenting a 2-pound preemie, born after preeclampsia and an emergency C-section, hit her hard. It was two months before her daughter could go home from the hospital, and even when her baby's health stabilized, Valenti struggled with a feeling no parenting book had prepared her for.

"It wasn't unhappiness so much as an unsettling sense of dissatisfaction, an itch of emptiness that was accompanied by overwhelming shame for not feeling 'completed' by parenthood," she writes in her new book, "Why Have Kids? A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness" (New Harvest). We talked to Valenti, 33, founder of Feministing.com, about the sky-high expectations surrounding modern motherhood. The following is an edited transcript.

Q: Studies consistently show that parenting doesn't make you happier. Why not?

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