Whatever You Do, Don't Be Smarter Than Your Boss

I had a great two years at my current job but now it's time to go. For two years I kept myself squashed into a tiny box, as you would say.

I like the job except for one thing. My boss "Haley" is the most insecure manager I've ever met. This is her first management job, and her inexperience shows. She has to be involved in every little decision. She has to feel like the boss, all the time.

Haley can't stand for anyone to do anything worthy of notice by the higher-up managers. So, for two years I tried to stay under the radar. Finally, it became impossible. I was put in charge of a big project that put me into daily contact with our VP of Sales and Marketing. Haley couldn't deal with it. She started to pick at everything I did.

I finally told the VP of Sales and Marketing about my problem. He completely understood, but he doesn't have any job openings in his department. He told me that if I need to move on, he understands and he'd be happy to be a reference for me.

The higher-up managers in my company love me. I'm seen as one of the top performers here, but my supervisor is my biggest obstacle.

What should I do? I hate to leave a job where I'm doing so well, but the pressure from Haley is constant. She's always on my case. It's oppressive. I guess I should have been more careful not to appear to be smarter than my boss. Most bosses can' go for that, I guess.

Thanks for your advice, Liz!

Yours,

Dan

Dear Dan,

You got a nice boost when the VP told you he values your contributions and he'll be a reference for you if you need one.

Now the question to ask yourself is, "What do I want in my career? Have I gotten everything I came to this job to get, or is there more to take away from this level in my video game?"

If you can see obvious ways to get resume fodder, additional learning and maybe other, intangible benefits at this job before you leave, then stick around. Haley is only reacting to your growing flame. That's her problem. Unless you are in imminent danger of getting fired, why let Haley's issues bother you?

If you still see opportunities to learn and grow in this company, then don't let Haley's insecurity push you out. She may be picking and fussing at you precisely because she has no power to do more than that. Don't assume that you have to worry about Haley's approval or disapproval of your work.

Many a newbie supervisor has had the same problem Haley has. They get bent out of shape when a subordinate does their job too well. The insecure newbie supervisor fears that their employee will upstage them. They might start to get antsy and overreact to everything. They might start to find fault with your work. So what? Unless there is a material impact on your job security and/or ranking on the internal stock index, who cares what Haley thinks?

Sometimes people like Haley show up in our path to teach us a lesson -- for instance, a lesson about patience, and biding your time. Now that you see what's bugging Haley, don't fight her. Let her feel like the boss. Give her that. It won't cost you anything!

I don't want you to stuff yourself into a tiny box ever again. Haley never really had the power to make you smaller than you truly are -- it only seemed that way.

Haley is a bit player in your movie. You are the director and the star. Now is your chance to step out of any boxes you may feel you've been pushed into. Step out of those boxes and let your light shine!

Do you really think the VP of Sales and Marketing and the other VPs in your company would let Haley terminate you when you are viewed as one of the highest-performing folks on the team? I doubt it. You can deal with sideways glances and snippy comments from Haley. Sticks and stones may break your bones but Haley's fearful management style cannot hurt you.

You can be as smart as you want to be at work, but the key is to line up with your boss and their goals rather than making an enemy out of them. Of course, in some cases it's impossible to stay on your manager's good side. Still, it's worth a try. You will grow new muscles in the process of teaching Haley to be your champion rather than your foe.

Get some altitude on your situation and decide what you want. Don't let yourself be pushed into a hasty career decision just because one inexperienced supervisor feels singed by your growing flame. As you relax into your own power you may turn Haley from an enemy into a friend, and even your biggest champion. Try it and see!

I was a Fortune 500 HR SVP for 10 million years, but I was an opera singer before I ever heard the term HR. The higher I got in the corporate world, the more operatic the action became. I started writing about the workplace for the Chicago Sun-Times in 1997. Now I write for...