Like an unstoppable freight train, the date of my Canadian escape draws nearer and nearer. I had my Canadian passport done a month ago. Today I submitted my application for a Polish –European Union– passport at the Consulate. Yesterday I purchased my airfare and a week’s worth of accommodation in London. I fly out July 7th. I return November 3rd.

The last item is the scary one. It makes the whole thing tangible. It’s no longer just an idea that I might shake; it is real, paid for, in my hands and with a firm deadline. It’s a realization that I’m still trying to come to terms with but that might be due to the sticker shock. It’s not the price of the airfare — that was pretty much expected — that’s doing it to me, it’s the ridiculous taxes that come with it: a rate of, just about, 70%. Ouch.

The return fare is important for two reasons. It gets me back into Toronto so that I can pick up my Polish Passport (five month processing time?!) and it frees me of any complicated visa entry problems. I contemplated getting a Work-Holiday visa but the process cost money, was annoying and required a little too much personal information. All for something that would be moot when I do get my EU passport. Anyway, I did go through a large portion of the application process and was mostly amused by this page:

Oh, British humour strikes again.

What war criminal would answer YES to such questions?

Have you, ever, committed abuse, on commas and other, punctuation?

All YES or NO radio button questions must be answered in English.

The rather vague are you considered a person of good character? question.

It wasn’t long after this page that I gave up on the application. I don’t need it anyway. The UK Visa page tells me as much in plain English:

I’m visiting for a short time, have proof of departure (return ticket) and will have proof that I can sustain myself and not use public funds while I’m there (as soon as I get all the pay cheques I’m currently owed). As long as they don’t find out that I publicly mocked their grammar and application questions, I should be fine.