Vengeance Buddy: Indistinguishable from Myth

Chris Noessel

October 23, 2012

As Halloween approaches, and the veil between worlds grows wan, threadbare, and permeable, Cooper turns its collective attention to the spirit, spook, and creature population. Last year we sought to understand them from a Goal-Directed perspective. This year we take the next unholy step and design software, devices, and services around these personas. Today we return to Metanipsah, Vengeful Mummy.

Ordinarily, we’d have qualms about helping someone with such a violent agenda. But his heart scarab was stolen by grave robbers (OK, fine, “archaeologists,” whatever) so really, they’ve got what’s coming to them.

Metanipsah is our oldest persona. His mental model can’t account for technology beyond simple machines, and is built around a paradigm of myth and magic. Fortunately, there are a lot of cutting-edge technology options that might be indistinguishable to him from myth, according to Mummyologist Chris Noessel. With that in mind, we're pleased to share the Vengeance Buddy.

[caption id="attachment_1373913" align="aligncenter" width="620" caption="Best of all, it works in the low-light that he prefers!"][/caption]

Designer's Notes

The Vengeance Buddy is a device that hangs around the neck of the terrible malefactor. It's built with the SixthSense wearable gestural interface and projector, augmented with a smart phone (for cellular internet connectivity, compass chip, and GPS sensor). It will all be powered by the latest in rage-recharged batteries. Using this set of components, we can project in-context wayfinding hieroglyphs on the walls and floor around him for directions, in-place translations of the strange, broken-stick lettering of the Western world, as well as real-time 3D renderings of virtual subservient slaves to whom he can rasp his horrific orders. These spoken commands will be interpreted by voice recognition technology and carried out by the system.

To track the insolent wrongdoers, we’re going to partner with data mining experts to create algorithms that scour social media feeds and public data streams for signs of their whereabouts. Oh, we’ll know where they are. They can’t hide. None of us can.

And, since the Vengeance Buddy won't be cheap, we’ve partnered with The Learning Channel, who will have exclusive rights to turn the video feeds of Metanipsah’s worn cameras into a live-action reality TV show. Look for their upcoming website and mobile app, that will let fans help snitch on the grave robbers, vote for their favorite deaths, know when he’s about to make a local appearance in his long, blood-slicked journey of revenge, and find the nearest hospitals after they come into contact with the star of the show!

Why it this design awesome for Metanipsah?

He doesn't have to understand technology. He understands Middle Egyptian. He understands slaves. He understands the soothing comfort of the death rattles issuing forth from the choked throats of his dying foes. And really, that's all he needs to know.

It moves with him. He'll be traveling for most of his undeath: From the Necropolis, between each grisly murder, and then home again. He doesn't want something in his hands that whole time.

We take advantage of the wisdom of the crowd. People love horror movies and people love good reality TV. Who could resist the combination? Giving fans a way to participate will cinch the ratings and augment where computerized systems leave off.

Keep an eye on this space as more spooooooky design rolls off the Cooper press.

Credits

SixthSense, if you're not aware, is a real technology. See it demoed at TED.