With the new installment of “Star Wars” due out in December, theories about sneakily leaked potential spoilers have been flying around the Internet like a modified YT-1300 light freighter. Of course they all have to be taken with a grain of Alderaan dust because J.J. Abrams will neither confirm nor deny such reports, saying only that “There are a ton of rumors — some true, some false,” which is totally not helpful at all. Do, or do not, J.J.!

But there’s one potential storyline causing a forceful disturbance: the possible death of Han Solo.

In this please-say-it-ain’t-so scenario, Han would be killed by the Sith Lord Kylo Renn. (Or maybe by crashing a WWII-era Ryan Aeronautical ST3KR.) The theory evolved from Harrison Ford’s own statement in 2010 that he thought Han should have died in the original trilogy anyway, but George Lucas — and maybe Greedo — wanted him to survive. Personally, I don’t want to live in a made-up world where a brave, handsome, made-up character like Han dies. Is his pending-long-long-ago death greatly exaggerated? That’s my only hope.

D(r)unk?

It was Earth Day on Wednesday (although really, shouldn’t every day be Earth Day?), and in honor of the occasion, the Maryland-based National Security Agency — yes, everyone’s favorite Big Brother — unveiled a new mascot for its recycling program, hoping to encourage kids in local schools to recycle … or die!! OK, not that last part.

Anyway, the NSA’s mascot is named Dunk (which seems more suitable for the NBA) and it’s a talking, smiling, bright-blue recycling bin with feet and muscular arms. He resembles a blue SpongeBob, but doesn’t seem quite so innocent. In fact, his demeanor has been deemed “creepy” on social media, with comments suggesting his designers were drunk, or saying the NSA will now monitor your trash for terrorist missives.

Dunk is indeed creepy. He’s likely watching you in your sleep. Just like the NSA.

Fatal error

Don’t you hate when your computer freaks out, offering only a baleful “fatal error” message? One guy in Colorado Springs turned the tables on his device last week, hauling his hard drive out to a back alley and shooting it. Eight times. Execution and/or Elvis-style.

According to the Colorado Springs Gazette, “The computer is not expected to recover,” and police cited 37-year-old Lucas Hinch with discharging a firearm within city limits, noting Hinch had been fighting with his computer for several months and finally used a handgun to “disable” it.