Into the Blue

Rated PG-13110 minutes2005

This dumber-than-summer heist movie offers precisely what one would expect from the director of Blue Crush and the writer of Torque: beautiful stupidity. Its every frame dripping from a noxious recipe of suntan oil, summertime sweat, and salt water, it delivers a precise, test-marketed amalgam of X Games tomfoolery, Travel Channel cinematography, and Playboy Channel wankery. Which is to say, it's made not for the grown-up audience, but for a demographic more likely to be engaged by the crack in Jessica Alba's ass than by whatever she's saying. The film begins with a plane crash into Bahamian waters that isn't discovered until Jared (Paul Walker), his first mate Sam (Alba), his best bud Bryce (Scott Caan), and Bryce's girlfriend Amanda (Ashley Scott) find it while daytripping in the warm waters one day. Of course, the plane's carrying tons of coke, which belong to a thickly accented drug-dealing baddie (played by James Frain) who wants his merch back. You can see where all this is going, right? Right. Into the deep blue nothing.
ByRobert Wilonsky