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And, also, amazingly good at pulling at our heartstrings and lifting the corners of our mouths… I mean look!

Now did you note the music? “Riding Solo.” I think that was intentional. Apparently, male pandas are the ultimate bachelors. To the max. And, not in the George Clooney kind of way.

Background: I debate about pandas. Yes. I am that cool.

And, I have too often credited my friend B.’s spirited lack of Panda love to his years of cleaning up child vomit at our local Ithaca Sciencecenter (It’s an amazing place! Go. Ignore what I said about vomit. It’s so great there! :P). I figured with him one cannot love all things neotenous and he was clearly doing his time with the kiddies. (Sorry. Pause. Do not take that literally…) Then, I listened to his arguments…

B. on Pandas and why he has no love. Pandas have:

1) An irrational food supply. They eat bamboo. Yup. Check.

2) Ludicrous camouflage. Unless they are with a heard of zebras. Reading newspapers.

3) A lovingly round shape and laissez-faire attitude. (B. just called them fat and lazy but you know…) And, thus, not they are not swift movers. Although the youtube exhibit above is a good counterpoint to this critique.

4) A complete lack of motivation to mate! (This is where B. REALLY built up steam…) The male of the species does not want to copulate. We need to teach and encourage them!

(Um. Have they met their human counterparts? This has GOT to be an argument for evolution. Or NAMBLA 😉 )

On point 4, I did some poking. Check it. Scientists are working really hard (BAD JAMIE!) to get the panda boys going:

“Along with watching porn, pandas are doing ‘sexercises,’ or specialized exercises to strengthen the males’ hind legs and increase their stamina. Scientists have found that the combination of porn, exercises, and the occasional menage a trois — to get young male pandas curious about sex — have proved successful.” (Source)

So what does all this mean? Come on pandas! Don’t let me / your race down! And, what happened to good ole spring time and becoming TWITTERPATED?