What are your thoughts on fighting to legalize poly marriage? Do you care? Would you fight for it for the next 20 years like the gays did?

17:50 Happy Poly Moment

Vicki shares a fun snogging-oriented happy poly moment

19:45 Feedback

CL wrote in to quote a study on how long it actually takes to create a habit. Turns out, it’s not the oft-quoted 21 days, but anywhere from 21 to 84 days, depending on the habit. Source: Author: Jeremy Dean; Title: Making Habits, Breaking Habits; Publisher: Da Capo Press; Date: Copyright 2013 by Jeremy Dean; Pages: 3-7

Space Hippie Geek wrote in to respond to episode 300 on couple privilege and took issue with three points:

conflating a triad and a vee (in a vee there is no romantic relationship between two of the partners)

pointing out (quite rightly) that, “don’t only want to feel as if I’m being added onto an established family. I also want to feel that my boyfriend is joining my family. Even if I don’t have another partners, and am not close to my birth family. Even just by myself, I am a family, a household. I have my own traditions, customs, and ways of doing things.”

While there are benefits to having everyone talk together, communicating as a group isn’t always necessary.

Mitch advocates for my voice not being used for the proliferation of toxic sludge

29:45 Wrap up

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4 comments to PW 350: To fight or not to fight… for poly marriage

(somehow my comment posted while I was still typing and I don’t see a way to edit it)

I’m personally not fighting for polyamorous marriage, as my wife and I are happy being married solely to each other in partnered non-monogamy, but I have no problem with other people working toward getting other forms of marriage legally approved. Most poly people I know are similar in being primarily focused on one other person they’re building their life with, while seeing other people in a part-time manner. There are definitely exceptions, but it seems that only a small number of people within the polyamorous community would want to be married to multiple people, with many not even wanting to be married to one.

My personal view is that the government shouldn’t be involved in marriage at all. If two or more people want to get married, that’s their business. It doesn’t matter if they’re gay, straight, monogamous, polyamorous, or whatever.

As for myself, I have other reasons for not wanting to get married. I like the idea of marriage, but there are reasons that I don’t want to get married under the current system. Still, the fact that we don’t have that right is a slap in the face, especially when liberals who get so up in arms about marriage equality for gays turn around whenever someone brings up polyamorous marriage and say “no, there’s no reason that marriage equality should apply to polyamorists.” I think instead of giving gays marriage rights within the current system, we should just abolish the whole system and let anyone who wants to get married get married, under whatever kind of contract they want.