How should I handle my hypersensitive daughter?

Q:My daughter is 4 years old. We live in USA. She has started going to school. She is very sensitive and considers all our suggestions as a scolding. We are not supposed to say anything even when she is at fault. Her teacher said something to her in school, due to which she is not ready to go to school. She cries badly when we ask her to go to school. I have tried my level best to convince her softly and even physically. But she does not respond. She has remained absent from school from the past one week. How should I handle my hyper sensitive daughter?

A:Your daughter seems to be extremely sensitive, and in order to modify her behaviour, it is important to analyse if there is any modification required in the parents behaviour and attitudes. Some children are inherently more sensitive, but usually it is the handling by parents that increases this emotional reactivity. Some steps that can be taken are:
a) Convey to her that you are disapproving of her action but still love her unconditionally.
b) Do not encourage her emotional behaviour. Try ignoring it. On the other hand give her attention and encouragement when she is showing positive behaviour.
c) Be firm and consistent in disciplining. Do not change your stance if you or the other parent has said no to something, and she starts crying.
d) Prove to be good models yourselves.