Many of us are running to and fro at speeds unimaginable, multitasking as we go, attempting to not let anything fall to the ground. Did you know that STRESS is a huge reason why people have angry outbursts! Are you taking time to ‘fully’ unwind from the stressful agenda of each day? Or do you unwind just enough to ‘take the edge off’ so that you can jump back into the ‘rat race’ to complete the next task?

With the holiday season quickly approaching we need to purposefully plan on times of relaxation, or just simply, “chilling out”. If you are going to control your angry outbursts, maybe you should think about incorporating a time of relaxation into your anger management strategy!

If only I hadn’t done it… If only she… If only he would of… Are you thinking about what you might have, should have, or could have done different to change the outcome of your destructive behavior? Are you wishing you could turn back the hands of time and do it all over again? Are you regretting the harmful words you spoke that damaged a close relationship, feeling remorse about the property you destroyed, or the harm you brought upon yourself? And now, looking back, you search for reasons for which your anger is out of control.

Explosive anger is very problematic because the outcome of a destructive response is often regretted. A quick temper does not solve problems, it exacerbates them.

Thinks about it… You could learn to be assertive, rather than aggressive, if only… You could have a better marriage, if only… Things could be better, if only… You could exercise better control over you emotions and learn anger management skills, if only… If only…

So, maybe someone moved to avoid an obstacle and stepped on your toes in the process? Or, you yelled at someone who accidentally bumped into you with hot coffee? Or, you continually think about how to harm a person who didn’t intend to bring harm to you.

Sometimes, people respond in anger to a situation or person when the offense was not intentional. If we are honest with ourselves, we would admit that not all provocations are intentional. Sometimes, the harm one suffers is due to an unfortunate circumstance or situation. Sadly, for many, this truth may be hard to accept. Why? Well, there are a plethora of possible reasons. One reason that often surface is that angry people are hurting emotionally from past issues. Rather than resolve an underlying issue from their past, these individuals are quick to demean others. The good news is, angry people do not have to live their lives being angry at the world. Help is available!

Professional athletics, doctors, presidents of organizations and corporations, judges, policemen / women, elected and public officials, university and college professors, school principals and teachers, postal service employees, sale clerks, grocery stores employees, restaurant workers, private contractors… this list goes on and on and is all inclusive.

The point is, you will find people from all walks of life and status who struggle with anger management and domestic violence issues. Everyone experiences circumstances and situations that will provoke their anger. Unfortunately, some of us do not know how to express anger in a productive and meaningful way.

Sadly, many people know that their anger is “out of control” but they fail to take the necessary steps to seek the help they need. Maybe you are needing help with controlling your anger. If so, we would like to assist you. You can email your request for assistance at dr.smb@hotmail.com.