The View From Here: Life, by the numbers

To put it delicately, having a few decades under my belt provides the perspective to pigeonhole life by decades.

Identifying the most enjoyable years was a topic in December when then co-worker MaryJane Slaby wrote a column prompted by a BuzzFeed headline, “Every Year Of Your Twenties, Ranked From Worst To Best.”

At the grand age of 24, she concluded that one BuzzFeed ranking was correct, 23 was the worst year of her life.

I wholeheartedly affirmed MJ’s choice, remembering the angst of living in a new city, working my first full year in my profession of choice and not having peers to hang out with.

There is self-imposed pressure to live up to the cultural expectation that 20-somethings are launching successful careers, setting the pace in fashion, socializing and having the time of their life.

There is a lot of soul-searching and deciding who you are and who you want to be.

The 20s, I told MJ, are not all they are advertised.

It’s the 30s and 40s when everything comes together, whether you planned every step or arrived by the seat of your pants.

At some point in our 30s, most of us have achieved a certain level of stability with a mate of our choosing, experience and new goals in our careers, the acquisition of real furniture and, maybe, the arrival of children.

During the 40s we continue on the course established during the prior decade.

We work. We play. We are comfortable in our own skin. We make choices with confidence, knowing the course we have charted for ourselves.

“Your 40s are the best decade,” I recently said to a man who told me he had just turned 40, was married, had two young children and was expanding his career opportunities.

Harried by the daily grind of life, he shot me a skeptical look.

“No, really,” I said. “These are the best years of your life. Make memories with your kids, your wife, your family and enjoy working toward your professional goals.”

Still appearing unconvinced, I briefly told him why the 40s are better than the 50s.

In our 50s, we review how we arrived at our current destinations, and question the choices that got us here.

Adult children are making life choices in their 20s, and at the same time we are challenged to embrace the decline in our parents’ health and cognition.

There are financial, geographic and emotional decisions to be made amid the landmines of our parents’ desires, and siblings who have very different relationships with the very same parents.

To soften the blow of those revelations, I circled back to the reasons why he’s in prime position to enjoy life.

When the conversation ended, I walked away wondering how I will view my 50s upon reaching the next decade.

I hear 70- and 80-year olds say life goes by quickly. They reminisce about the things they did, and the things they did not do because they were going to “do that in the future.”

I try to keep that in mind and focus on the old saying, “It’s the journey, not the destination.”

But the journey is often difficult to see in the midst of the trip.

Vizza is a reporter at the Journal & Courier. She can be reached at cvizza@jconline.com.