Late-Night Laughs

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Governor Chris Christie is so Fat...

May 09, 2013

"New Jersey Governor Chris Christie revealed that he underwent a surgery that restricts the amount of food he can consume. As a result, 12 animals have been removed from the endangered species list." –Conan O'Brien

"Chris Christie revealed he had lap-band surgery in February. President Obama wished him well. In fact, Obama is now thinking about having Joe Biden's mouth stapled." –Jay Leno

"Lap-band surgery is said to be slower than other procedures. Typically, patients lose one to two pounds a week. Which means the governor could be down to a healthy weight in about 100 years." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Governor Christie is now saying that his decision had nothing to do with 2016, which by the way is his cholesterol." –David Letterman