9.23.2007

Yes, I see a lot of movies and thought I would share with you my list of “Things That Only Happen in Movies, Yet are Portrayed as Real Life.”

Turkeys flying through the air during holiday meals.

Long, perfectly worded arguments.

Suddenly breaking into lip syncing at home, using small appliances as microphones and dancing all through the house because that's what housewives with cancer do with their children.

The ultra smart yet ignored, ugly duckling getting the attention of the popular athlete and turning into a swan at the end of the movie with the inevitable slow, close up of her walking down the spiral staircase.

Overly decorated neighborhoods at Halloween and Christmas.

The entire movie of “Pretty Woman” puh-LEEZE.

Children building complex technology or contraptions that enables them to spy on or record their parents, friends or divert silly bad guys who do a lot of pratfalls .

Putting on amateur plays at school, home or church, yet the lighting and sets are Broadway worthy.

Boys showing up at your bedroom window holding a boom box, also trying to convince your dad that his ivy league daughter should end up with his loser ass.

Faces being pushed into food, especially wedding cake. Elaborate scenes in restaurants where there is a hilarious chain reaction of people landing on tables and waiters dropping food.

Twinkle lights everywhere, mainly rooftops where they are trying to impress their dates with waiters and violins—dancing always follows, under said twinkle lights.

Any J-Lo movie, Note to J-Lo please leave us all alone and go back to wherever and take Skeletor with you.

Truckloads of flowers being delivered to one person, in an attempt to make up.

9 comments:

My favorite is when a character wants to break into song, an invisible orchestra just happens to ... though perhaps that isn't portrayed as real life. I wish is it were real life. I'd love my own invisible orchestra!

I think the lipsyncing thing has happened at my house on more than one occasion :) Though we were actually singing along.....

Uh oh, Maid in Manhatten is one of my guilty pleasures. I think her 10 year old son in that film is my favorite actor. I thought The Notebook was seriously overrated even with the kissing in the rain. And that cannot be as pleasurable as it looks. Doing anything in the rain is supposed to be the ultimate in romanticism in the movies. I have always hated McCaulay Culkin and wanted to smash his head in a cake with or without the twinkle lights and overdecorated neighborhoods.

LOL and YES to all of these things that give us unrealistic expections about everything because Hollywood makes them all seem to simple.

HEY Chris and Michelle, i would appriciate it if you wouldn't rag on my homeboy....Home alone is sheer poetry and anyone who feels otherwise needs to re-watch and examine their innerself. THe innerself will remind you that you do in fact do love Home Alone.

But Michelle I loved the post. Agreed on pretty much everything else. It made me laugh!

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I love to laugh. Love to be with my family. I have 2 brilliant children, Erica & Griffin. I live with a handsome cop and a fat cat. My daughter Erica and I have a small design Co called Tart House Design.