Sepanx & Conversations with Raviv Part 8

He will be in Mindanao for 2 weeks to a month—which is like eons for Randy and me. The longest stretch of time we’ve been separated from him is 24-48 hours only. So this definitely is a big deal for us. That’s why when Mom and Dad asked us whether Raviv could vacation with them during the summer, it took Randy and me a long time to decide. But eventually, we caved in. Sending him there is the rational thing to do because:

1) Summer is a busy time for Randy and me—we will be away the whole day and will be doggone tired when we get home;

2) Raviv has no dedicated yaya; and

3) His cousins are also vacationing at my parents’, and he would definitely have fun with them, just as he always has.

But these valid reasons didn’t make it easy on us—we still had separation anxieties! Especially because Raviv has been such a darling the past days. That or because I took to heart what I said on my previous post. He has been saying the sweetest and funniest things that would leave me in awe and good vibes.

Like last Thursday night as I was putting him to sleep, we were talking about our activity last Tuesday and being the “winning” it.

I: Would you be happy if you would be the winner?

Raviv: A little.

I, surprised: Why just a little? Won’t winning make you very, very happy?

Raviv: Because of the (other) kids, they’ll be sad. How about all of us win? So all of us would be happy?

Nadurog ang puso ko. To think he didn’t even befriend the other kids he would feel sorry about. They never even talked or played. Raviv has such a generous and unselfish heart, my own (often frozen) heart melted. Haaay.

Then he showed me the wound on his foot that he said was ouchy. He asked me to include it in our bedtime prayer. After praying for the healing of his wound, I also thanked God for him. He heard me thank God for giving me such a handsome, smart and sweet boy. Out loud, I also prayed to God to help me be the mom that Raviv deserves, and for Raviv to forgive me during the times I hurt his feelings.

Maya-maya misty-eyed na si Ravivo. Then he covered his eyes and sobbed.

I: Raviv, why are you crying?

Raviv, with a serious face na parang pangmatanda na, and nodding his head slowly: That was a good prayer. It was a good prayer, Nanay.

Then last night, as I was bathing him to prepare him for bed…

I: (loud sigh while bathing Raviv)

Raviv: I know why you did that, ‘Nay.

I: Why?

Raviv: Because I’m leaving. I’m sorry about that.

He looked sooo serious and guilty that I wanted to smile and cry at the same time. And just as he was about to sleep last night…