Tuesday, August 2, 2011

marriage and family

Lately I have been thinking about who my children will marry. Maybe it is because I sometimes often get pulled in to watch that silly show Bachelor or Bachelorette. I watch these men or women bring home the girl or boy of their “dreams” and watch the family offer their opinion. As I watch I realize that does not always happen these days, in real life.

Yet, my heart longs for just that.

I have realized that when you marry someone, you are not just making a decision for yourself, even though that is really all you are thinking about. How many of us really wonder how this person will fit in with our extended family? What about with the grandparents? Uncles or Aunts? How will holidays look? Vacations? I mean, honestly, this is important. The person you marry can pull you away from the family you have been a part of all your life, or they can become a part of that same family.

So I have been chewing on just how we start to talk about this with our boys. Our girl is already spoken for, so not sweat there! (hopefully anyway!) But really. I think we will have more influence, naturally, with our daughter, but with our sons I worry that they will grow into young men and feel like this is their sole decision. Yet, their father and I have invested our lives into them, and I do not want to watch them go and be pulled away from us, if they choose a wife who would do that. I have seen many women do exactly that, for many reasons.

Now, I know, really I do, that this is their life and I cannot live it for them. But if you look in the Bible, who those people married impacted many things! When a King chose a wife who did not believe in the One True God, often that King was led to do awful things. Solomon referred to this especially, it was his wives that were his downfall. Again and again the choice of a spouse was so crucial to their family and the families of many others, sometimes a kingdom.

So, I long to prepare my boys for better, I want them to choose like it matters! I want them to seek out a woman, court her, and then come to us and talk to us about it, well I really hope we are talking before and through the courting It is not that I want them to feel they have to ask our permission – not get our approval, but really share their thoughts, their heart, and ours too with each other. Does that make sense? I hope the choice he makes of who to marry to be one he sought advice and counsel for.

I know of people who were head over heels in love, married and then realized later it was not a good choice, it was a choice of passion. And we all know the eyes can deceive, the heart can to. Marriage is more than those gooey feelings, it has to be more. Otherwise, when the tough days hit – someone will hit the road. Gooey feelings do not endure financial hardship, extended deployments, sick kids, and many more yucky things. Marriage needs to be based on God’s truths and not our heart.

So, as all these things turn over in my heart, I was so blessed to get the book “The Three Weavers” by Robert & Shelley Noonan. It is a book for fathers to do with their daughters. It is AMAZING!!! As I read through it today, I kept thinking this is great, but my girl is 5. I need something for these boys!! I need to be pouring these truths into their hearts now while they will listen!! So, I am on the hunt for exactly that.

Meanwhile, Robert is going to read over this amazing book. Then I will put my thoughts together on why this is a tool every Dad needs to read with his 9-15 year old daughter. EVERY ONE!!! There is so much truth in this story in the book and the questions and study portion are very thought provoking, so much so that I cannot imagine the results being anything than amazing for both dad and daughter!!

About Me

I spend my days teaching my 4 kids to love God and love education. You will usually catch us with a book in our hands, playing in the garden, or cooking in the kitchen! We love this country life we jumped into in 2010! This blog is where we share our life adventures and the things we are passionate about!!