Dating Insecurity

Guest Author - Kristina de la Cal

Whether they are willing to admit it or not, even the most confident people have their fair share of insecurities. No human being is a stranger to the perilous forces of uncertainty. After all, it is true that we usually are our own worst critics. Although sometimes itís relatively harmless, other times insecurity can prove to be detrimental to our lives, particularly when it comes to our love lives.

If you are battling your own insecurity monsters, itís important to have a good idea of how those insecurities are affecting you and your dating life. Insecurities can often have significant influence on your judgment and the decisions that you make. They may cause you to build walls or employ other self-defense mechanisms that incapacitate your ability to process emotions in a healthy manner, or they might hold you back and stand in the way of you being able to advance your own personal growth. You may have trouble recognizing a good thing when you see it, causing you to shun potentially good relationships. The most hindering consequence of insecurity, however, is the self-abuse; the guilt, shame, and the regret that it so often leaves in its wake.

It is perfectly normal to question where you stand in the early stages of a dating relationship or wonder if he/she is going to call you after a date. This is not so much insecurity as it is excitement and anticipation. If, on the other hand, you begin to obsess over every little thing and are unable to enjoy yourself then itís probably time to take a closer look at the root of the doubts that are fueling such feelings.

In a very basic sense, insecurity is a lack of confidence that can manifest itself in a variety of ways. The emotional landscape of todayís dating world is just littered with endless landmines of insecurities that can wreak havoc on relationships. If you hope to make it through the journey relatively unscathed, then you need to first learn how to identify your own insecurities and then how to deal with them. The most common dating insecurity that can pose a threat to the stability of that relationship is jealousy. Regardless of how it is expressed, whether it is through fear, anger, sadness, paranoia, or distrust, jealousy often has a crippling effect on relationships.

No matter what mask it wears, if jealousy has reared its ugly head in your relationship, consider investing some effort into sorting through your emotions and boosting your confidence levels. Though doing so may require dealing with some potentially unpleasant and uncomfortable issues, becoming a more secure and therefore more attractive person will likely prove to be well worth the risk in the end.