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Job sighting in East Midlands ‘just an IDS’

Reports of a job sighting somewhere in the East Midlands have been greeted with scepticism by experienced job seekers.

‘It’s probably just another IDS,’said unemployed Gary Bristow, who explained that an IDS is an imaginary vacancy, found inside Department for Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith’s uninhabited skull, that has escaped its orbit to create trouble for the unemployed of the world.

‘Or it could just be a Poundlander,’ he added, explaining that Poundlanders are entities, launched from Jobcentre Plus under the supreme command of Mr Duncan Smith, that look like jobs, but when approached up close are seen to be just bottomless black holes masquerading as paid work.