This year's BBC Christmas treats for opera lovers will be prepared and hand-delivered by Antonio Pappano. On New Year's Day he will conduct a live radio broadcast from the Royal Opera House of Wagner's Meistersinger. But before then, on Christmas Eve, he presents an hour long television introduction to Tosca, which will be followed by the recent Covent Garden production under his baton starring Angela Gheorghiu, Bryn Terfel and Jonas Kaufmann. Pappano, whose Opera Italia series aired last year, has rapidly become the television face of the art form and his introduction to Tosca sees him enthusiastically exploring the Roman sites utilised by Puccini as well as behind the scenes rehearsal footage.

"So there is plenty of Angela, Bryn and Jonas," Pappano explains. "And having those three together was quite something. They ensure the production is absolutely full of beans. But there does seem a need for a front man for opera and classical music at the moment, so I present the programme and do most of the yapping. To have the chance to get people excited about something you are excited about is a huge opportunity. We keep talking about opera as if everybody knows all about it. But not everybody does, so I think it is part of my job to tell them. Tosca might be a highly compelling story that almost anyone will instantly enjoy, but if you have just a little more historical background, a little more knowledge of what Puccini was trying to achieve, then you really do get so much more out of it."

Pappano, who comes from a southern Italian family and has been music director of the city's prestigious orchestra of the Accademia di Santa Cecilia since 2005, is an ideal choice to talk about a Rome-based opera. But he has an equally strong claim to be a local hero back at his Covent Garden base, where he will celebrate 10 years as music director early next year. He was brought up in 1960s London and even hazily remembers being taken to a Covent Garden Il Trovatore as a child. "It did make an impression in that the very dark staging of the gypsy fire scene has stayed with me. But it was a long time ago. A lot has happened in between."

The circuitous route he embarked upon before returning to Covent Garden to succeed Bernard Haitink as music director took in emigration to America, an education as a jobbing piano-player, and highly regarded behind the scenes work at some of the most prestigious opera houses in the world. But when he did return to London he was almost immediately reminded of his roots. Entering a backstage lift just after being appointed music director he vaguely recognised a stage hand. "We sort of looked at each other and then worked it out. We'd been to primary school together. He was now working in the flies. It was quite a reminder that essentially I was returning home."

Pappano says he can scarcely believe that he has now been in charge for 10 years. "I have to say it's been a wonderful journey, because there have been so many twists and turns. But we have managed to survive and even thrive and now we have an even stronger bond with the audience; we're a very tight-knit family within the house. The hope as a musician is always that you continue to develop and get better over time. That can only happen in an atmosphere of trust such as we have here."

Looking back over a decade of productions he, reluctantly, identifies some key works. He claims great affection for his first London opera, Ariadne auf Naxos, as well as citing a "not universally liked" Lulu, "that nevertheless was very important for us in terms of building teamwork", a "conventional" Marriage of Figaro that was "sort of perfect in its direction and bite", Richard Jones's controversial staging of Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk, a Wozzeck, Tristan and, this year, Mark-Anthony Turnage's Anna Nicole, which put drug abuse, boob jobs and octogenarian sex on the Covent Garden stage in recounting the rise and fall of the late playboy model. "There was an element of overcoming doubts and fears with Anna Nicole, but when we began work, it clearly meant everything to everybody. You should have seen the place during that period – everyone was on point and working very, very hard from the same page. But the thing about that list of productions, and many others I could have mentioned, is that they are all very different in style. And that has been a large part of the appeal for me – and, I hope, the audience."

Next week Pappano leads the company in a revival of their much-acclaimed Graham Vick-directed Meistersinger. "For a musician, there is no other piece that gives so much back. It is steeped in the history of German music and you have these two very different styles in a work that will always be somehow contemporary because it contains this conflict between new ideas and old traditions." In a way Meistersinger acts as an appetiser for next season's complete Ring cycle, directed by Keith Warner, which Pappano will conduct for the second time. "It is wonderful to have the chance to bring it back. To develop it further and really work on it. Seeing it all together reveals the amazing logic and cohesion of the whole thing. And it is great to do a house piece in which everyone is involved. It is one of the most satisfying experiences and I'm delighted that we have several large-scale works coming up over the next few years." Pappano's current contract keeps him in London until 2014, but he has already scheduled work beyond then and talks enthusiastically about an upcoming Verdi's Sicilian Vespers, a new Parsifal and Berlioz's vast Trojans, which will form part of the the house's 2012 Olympic year celebrations. "People say it's a bit cheesy when I talk about working like a big family on some of these things. But it is true. And I know better than most what it's like to make music in a family."

Pappano was born in December 1959 in Essex. He and his younger brother were raised in Pimlico by his first-generation Italian immigrant parents, who had arrived in the UK in 1958. His parents worked at many jobs, most often in the restaurant world, but all were essentially in support of his father's ambition to be a singing teacher. "So our house was full of music," Pappano recalls. "Vocal exercises from tenors especially. And life was extremely busy. A little like my life is now, but then it was for survival and making ends meet. My parents are still my greatest inspiration. They left Italy with 10 quid in their pocket and they bettered their lives. The ingenuity and grit they displayed was astonishing. Their partnership was very tumultuous, the amount of stress in their lives was huge, but it was also very strong. And the indefatigable work ethic I am blessed with comes straight from them."

It was clear from the beginning that Pappano was a talented musician – "But I wasn't Mozart. I also liked football and things like that" – and he soon began to play for his father's voice students. "But it wasn't until we went to America that I made a big leap." The family moved to Connecticut when Pappano was 13. He continued to work with his father and got a new teacher himself, Norma Verrilli, whose own father had come from Pappano's parents' village in Italy. "She exposed this kid to all this new stuff; Bach, a lot of Mozart, Chopin, Brahms, and also a lot of early music, Monteverdi and so on. She also loved the great American songbook, so my head was whirling with all this music, and meanwhile I was getting jobs playing for a church choir, for my father's lessons, accompanying recitals, occasionally doing my own concerts as well as a bit of cocktail piano in a bar. In America I had a renaissance existence. There was a lot of running around, but it did give me great practical experience and a tremendously eclectic taste."

Despite his obvious facility, Pappano did not attend music school. "My father and I were very locked into this family teaching business. So whether it was guilt, or whether it was fear, leaving home wasn't right for me at that time." But he did take private lessons and studied composition. He acquired a taste for the theatre when an opera company was formed in Connecticut and he started to work for them as a rehearsal pianist and then choral master. And it was as a rehearsal pianist that he developed his professional career, first at the New York City Opera and then working at the Liceu in Barcelona, in Frankfurt and with the Chicago Lyric Opera. Then, after an audition with Daniel Barenboim, at age 26 Pappano moved to Bayreuth.

"Barenboim was a very intimidating presence. His fame, the sheer force of his intellect and musicianship. It was like being hit by a truck. Can you imagine playing piano for him? But it was a hugely important point of my development as I got an opportunity to observe him at work. When you are eventually offered six weeks of rehearsal you'd better know what to do with them. That's where I learnt how to develop a sense of inner timing to bring people and a production to a peak for the performances. And it was fascinating to be involved in something like putting on a Ring. You learn about scale and structure, and the whole psychological aspect of theatre. You also see the obstacles of dealing with such a huge masterpiece. For any re-creative artist, it is the greatest thrill to actually hold and shape and come to terms with masterpieces. But it's not all peachy. They can be full of conflict and challenge and people underestimate the struggles involved. It is possible to get things seriously wrong."

In the mid 80s Pappano moved on to Oslo to work with the Den Norske Opera, which was where he con ducted his first opera, La Bohème, in 1987. He says he had no strong desire to conduct as a career: "God forbid. I didn't think I would have the authority. But I did always have very strong ideas about how the music should go. Other people saw that and I was given opportunities here and there to conduct." While he had taken some lessons, when he first stood in front of an orchestra he did "all the traditional things a young conductor does: I talked too much and my arms didn't exactly do what I thought they were doing. But I had always been very vocal and interfering, and having that time in rehearsal and then performance, working with singers and players and having my say about the staging, I sort of realised this was where I belonged."

Pappano was appointed music director of the company in 1990, aged 30. The first benefit of his elevation was that it gave him a much wider choice of work. "So I didn't do only the Italian repertoire, which is always the danger when you have a name like mine. But while there was more freedom, there were also new responsibilities, for the development and continued growth of the orchestra. You have to work on intonation, you have to work on cohesion. It is now your orchestra. And the public has to see you as the face of the organisation. Audiences pay serious money, and we need to give something very special in return. We need to give of our hearts and souls and all our energy, enthusiasm and conviction. We have to convince them that it is worth the money."

He says it is a philosophy that has guided him ever since. In 1992 he was headhunted by La Monnaie, the Brussels opera house, where he began to build an international reputation. When he arrived at Covent Garden, by then married to Pamela Bullock, a repetiteur, he was one of the brightest stars on the world scene. "I did hit the ground running in that London knew I was coming two years previously. But you still have to pay your dues as the music director, you have to jump through a lot of hoops with the orchestra for them to feel that they know you, and you know them. It took several years to build confidence, but then something else kicks in, this sense of inevitability which is a wonderful thing and such a privilege to get when you have been long enough with one orchestra."

Observing Pappano last year on the Royal Opera House's tour of Japan – doling out champagne to crew members at an aftershow reception, cajoling people to pose for his personal holiday snaps – it is obvious that Tony, as he is universally known, is genuinely loved and admired by his colleagues. "I do have my moments," he confesses, "and I am aware that for some people it is possible to work well through conflict and struggle. But combativeness is not my style. And in a long process such as putting on an opera, that can sometimes take a couple of months from first rehearsal to closing night, I just don't want to live with additional stress for all that time."

He says Covent Garden falls somewhere between the ultra-traditional Met in New York and the determinedly avant-garde atmosphere of some European houses. "The London public love to hear beautiful voices and musical singing. And they are accustomed to seeing stars, but the stars don't just come here and do their turns. They have to be hooked in to what the whole evening is about. They work hard when they come here and sometimes you can see them at their very best because everything is lined up for a great production, not just a great performance. The only thing that matters is being true to live theatre. I want things to be absolutely convincing from first to last. It is not just an orchestra playing and singers singing. The whole thing must come together and the orchestra has certainly picked up on that. What do the notes mean? What are they supporting? What are they provoking?"

In Brussels Pappano oversaw a small symphonic programme alongside the operas and since he arrived in London has periodically taken opportunities to bring the Royal Opera orchestra out from the pit. "It's always a fantastic bonus to get a company orchestra on the stage every now and then." He says his work with the Santa Cecilia orchestra has provided him with the same benefits – as well as a clutch of recent awards for their recordings of Mahler, Rossini, Verdi and Puccini. "When I took the job I didn't quite realise what it would mean to me personally. Solely concentrating on the music, not working with voices, is something that I desperately needed to go forward in my own development. And my ear has changed and my insight has changed. So London and Rome are feeding into each other fantastically. And with my background the blending of the two cultures seems to suit me, and sort of define me, as well."

But whether in Rome or London, Pappano now finds himself confronted by political and financial anxieties around arts funding. "Let's not kid ourselves. The situation is precarious. In Italy there is a quite a push behind Rome at the moment, Roma Capitale, and as our orchestra is something Italy and its capital can be proud of there is some sense of us being on a firm footing. But everywhere there are difficulties." He says having worked to find additional private money to make up for state cuts, those potential private sponsors now find themselves under pressure. "So what you think is promised might not necessarily come your way. Things are quite a jumble at the moment and so we all have to work that bit harder to keep the programming intact. And we are being tested to the limit. That said, I have been very lucky. It has been a difficult period for recording, but I've never made so many records and DVDs. And now the TV thing has kicked in as a wonderful surprise. And it does show a certain vitality in the classical music world.

"We need to take advantage of that and become more tenacious in asserting the importance of this kind of music. Not to the exclusion of other music, but to tell people what a wonderful heritage they, and it, has. Things are going to be a lot tougher financially over coming years, but in an organisation that is well run, and Covent Garden is very well run, even when times are tough, we will find ways of doing what needs to be done."

• This article was amended on 19 December 2011, correcting the home of Den Norske Opera from Copenhagen to Oslo and the name of the director of the Royal Opera's forthcoming Ring cycle from Richard Jones to Keith Warner.