BREAKING NEWS!

Our sources are indicating that tonight, after having a dinner of pizza and beer, Justin Trudeau has developed a bad case of gas. And we do have confirmation on that. Justin is going to get through this by thinking about national unity. Some pundits however believe he is probably thinking about what it will be like to walk around 24 Sussex naked. Regardless, the hearts and minds of all Canadians go out to Justin tonight. We will be keeping you updated on any further developments as they happen.