My coworker Roy was telling me a story about his neighbor who lives across the alleyway. Roy’s neighbor texted him to come to the window that is adjacent to his window. When he did, he saw his neighbor standing on a chair, holding a freshly caught salmon so big it was longer than the window’s frame. Roy is invited to help him eat it for dinner tonight.

I was laughing at the absurdity of this, as well as this video he showed me of a cat reciting existential poetry in French.

You take a screenshot of an ice cream sandwich food truck menu that’s being featured in an Orange County Weekly Yelp, stare at it all day while getting legitimately, dog-kicking angry that you’re not eating any of the sandwiches at this very moment.