The lowly Wizards beat the Miami Heat in a real-life basketball game last night. It was a nice moment for one of the most awful teams in the league, but for local DC sports reporter Michael Jenkins, it was so much more. A deliriously giddy Jenkins, who may or may not have been under the influence of narcotics, took the Wizards' victory as an opportunity to come completely unhinged during his segment on the local news, hitting Heat superstar LeBron James with a series of hilariously awful burns.

We hope LeBron can recover from being called "Sportsman Of The Weak" by a dude with a funny tie. That's a dis Skip Bayless would be proud of.