SRI RAMAKRISHNA, accompanied by
Manilal Mallick, M., and several
other devotees, was in a carriage on his way to Ram's new garden.
The garden, which Ram had recently purchased, was next to Surendra's.
Ram adored the Master as an Incarnation of God. He visited Sri Ramakrishna
frequently at Dakshineswar. Manilal Mallick was a member of the
Brahmo Samaj. The Brahmos do not believe in Divine Incarnations.

MASTER (to Manilal): "In order to
meditate on God, one should try at
first to think of Him as free from upadhis, limitations. God is beyond
upadhis. He is beyond speech and mind. But it is very difficult to achieve
perfection in this form of meditation.

"But it is easy to meditate on an Incarnation — God born as man. Yes, God
in man. The body is a mere covering. It is like a lantern with a light burning
inside, or like a glass case in which one sees precious things."

Arriving at the garden, the Master got out of the carriage and accompanied
Ram and the other devotees to the sacred tulsi-grove. Standing near
it, he said: "How nice! It is a fine place. You can easily meditate on God
here."

Sri Ramakrishna sat down in ,the house, which stood to the south of the
lake. Ram offered him a plate of fruit and sweets which he enjoyed with the
devotees. After a short time he went around the garden.

Next Sri Ramakrishna proceeded toward Surendra's garden. He walked on
foot a little distance and saw a sadhu sitting on a couch under a tree. At
once he went up to the holy man and joyfully began a conversation with
him.

MASTER: "To which order of monks do you
belong? Have you any title — Giri, Puri, or the like?"

SADHU: "People call me a paramahamsa."

MASTER: "That is good. 'I am Siva' — that
is a good attitude. But I must
tell you something else. The process of creation, preservation, and destruction
that is going on day and night is due to Sakti, the Power of God. This
Primal Power and Brahman are one and the same. Sakti cannot exist without
Brahman, just as waves cannot exist without water. There cannot be
any instrumental music without an instrument.

"As long as God keeps us in His relative world, so long we feel that there
are two. If one accepts Sakti, one accepts Brahman as well. If one is aware
of night, one is also aware of day. If one is aware of knowledge, one is also
aware of ignorance.

"But there is another state in which God reveals to His devotee that Brahman
is beyond both knowledge and ignorance. It cannot be described in
words. What exists, exists."

After a pleasant conversation with the sadhu, the Master returned to the
carriage, the holy man walking with him. Sri Ramakrishna looked upon
him as a friend of long acquaintance, and they walked arm in arm.

The Master arrived at Surendra's garden. The very first thing he talked
about was the sadhu.

MASTER: "He is a very nice man. (To Ram)
Bring him to Dakshineswar
when you come. He is really a good man. There is a line in a song to the
effect that a man cannot recognize a holy person unless he is holy himself.

"The sadhu believes in God without form. That is good. God is both
formless and endowed with form. He is many things more. The Absolute
and the Relative belong to one and the same Reality. What is beyond speech
and mind is born in the flesh, assuming various forms and engaging in various
activities. From that one Om have sprung 'Om Siva', 'Om Kali', and
'Om Krishna'. Suppose the master of a house has sent out a small boy of the
family to invite people to a feast. All look on the boy with great fondness
and affection because he is the son or grandson of a prominent man."

The Master took refreshments at Surendra's garden house and then set
out for Dakshineswar with the devotees.

Thursday, December 27, 1883

The temple garden was filled with the sweet music of the dawn service,
which mingled with the morning melody from the nahabat. Leaving his
bed, Sri Ramakrishna chanted the names of God in sweet tones. Then he
bowed before the pictures of the different deities in his room and went to
the west porch to salute the Ganges.

Some of the devotees who had spent the night at the temple garden came
to the Master's room and bowed before him. Rakhal was staying with the
Master, and Baburam had come the previous evening. M. had been staying
there two weeks.

Sri Ramakrishna said to M.: "I have been invited to Ishan's this morning.
Baburam will accompany me, and you too." M. made ready to go with the
Master.

At eight o'clock the carriage hired for the Master stood waiting in front
of the nahabat. On all sides plants and trees were in flower, and the river
sparkled in the sunlight of the bright winter's day. The Master bowed once
more before the pictures. Then, still chanting the name of the Divine
Mother, he got into the carriage, followed by M. and Baburam. The devotees
took with them Sri Ramakrishna's woolen shawl, woolen cap, and
small bag of spices.

Sri Ramakrishna was very happy during the trip and enjoyed it like a
child. About nine o'clock the carriage stopped at the door of Ishan's house.

Ishan and his relatives greeted the Master and led him to the parlour on
the first floor. Shrish, Ishan's son, was introduced to Sri Ramakrishna. The
young man practised law at Alipur. He had been a brilliant student, having
stood first in two of the university examinations, but he was extremely
modest.

MASTER (to Shrish): "What is your
profession?"

SHRISH: "I am practising law at Alipur."

MASTER (to M.): "For such a man to
be a lawyer! (To Shrish) Well,
have you any questions to ask? Perhaps you want to know how to live unattached
in the world. Isn't that so?"

SHRISH: "Under the pressure of duties
people do many unrighteous things
in the world. Further, some are engaged in good work, and some in evil. Is
this due to their actions in previous births? Is that why they act this way?"

MASTER: "How long should a man perform
his duties? As long as he
has not attained God. Duties drop away after the realization of God. Then
one goes beyond good and evil. The flower drops off as soon as the fruit
appears. The flower serves the purpose of begetting the fruit.

"How long should a devotee perform daily devotions such as the sandhya?
As long as his hair does not stand on end and his eyes do not shed tears at
the name of God. These things indicate that the devotee has realized God,
From these one knows that he has attained pure love of God. Realizing God
one goes beyond virtue and vice.

I bow my head, says Prasad, before desire and liberation;
Knowing the secret that Kali is one with the highest Brahman,
I have discarded, once for all, both righteousness and sin.

"The more you advance toward God, the less He will give you worldly
duties to perform."

SHRISH: "It is extremely difficult to
proceed toward God while leading the life of a householder."

MASTER: "Why so? What about the yoga of
practice? At Kamarpukur I
have seen the women of the carpenter families selling flattened rice. Let me
tell you how alert they are while doing their business. The pestle of the
husking-machine that flattens the paddy constantly falls into the hole of the
mortar. The woman turns the paddy in the hole with one hand and with
the other holds her baby on her lap as she nurses it. In the mean time
customers arrive. The machine goes on pounding the paddy, and she carries on
her bargains with the customers. She says to them, 'Pay the few pennies you
owe me before you take anything more.' You see, she has all these things
to do at the same time — nurse the baby, turn the paddy as the pestle pounds
it, take the flattened rice out of the hole, and talk to the buyers. This is
called the yoga of practice. Fifteen parts of her mind out of sixteen are fixed
on the pestle of the husking-machine, lest it should pound her hand. With
only one part of her mind she nurses the baby and talks to the buyers. Likewise,
he who leads the life of a householder should devote fifteen parts of
his mind to God; otherwise he will face ruin and fall into the clutches of
Death. He should perform the duties of the world with only one part of his
mind.

"A man may lead the life of a householder after attaining Knowledge.
But he must attain Knowledge first. If the milk of the mind is kept in the
water of the world, they get mixed. Therefore he should turn the milk
into curd and extract butter from it by churning it in solitude; then he may
keep the butter in the water of the world. Therefore, you see, spiritual
discipline is necessary. When the aswattha tree is a mere sapling, it must be
enclosed by a fence; otherwise the cattle will eat it. But the fence may be
taken away when the trunk grows thick and strong. Then even an elephant
tied to the tree cannot harm it.

"Therefore at the beginning the aspirant should go into solitude now and
then. Spiritual discipline is necessary. You want to eat rice; suppose you sit
down somewhere and say, 'Wood contains fire and fire cooks rice.' Can saying
it cook the rice? You must get two pieces of wood and by rubbing them
together bring out the fire.

"By eating siddhi one becomes intoxicated and feels happy. But suppose
you haven't eaten the stuff or done anything else with it; you simply sit
down somewhere and mutter, 'Siddhi! siddhi!' Will that intoxicate you or
make you happy?

"You may learn a great deal from books; but it is all futile if you have no
love for God and no desire to realize Him. A mere pundit, without
discrimination and renunciation, has his attention fixed on 'woman and gold'.
The vulture soars very high but its eyes are fixed on the charnel pit.

"That alone is Knowledge through which one is able to know God. All
else is futile. Well, what is your idea about God?"

SHRISH: "Sir, I feel that there is an
All-knowing Person. We get an indication
of His Knowledge by looking at His creation. Let me give an illustration.
God has made devices to keep fish and other aquatic animals alive in
cold regions. As water grows colder, it gradually shrinks. But the amazing
thing is that, just before turning into ice, the water becomes light and
expands. In the freezing cold, fish can easily live in the water of a lake:
the surface of the lake may be frozen, but the water below is all liquid. If
a very cold breeze blows, it is obstructed by the ice. The water below
remains warm."

MASTER: "That God exists may be known by
looking at the universe. But
it is one thing to hear of God, another thing to see God, and still another
thing to talk to God. Some have heard of milk, some have seen it, and
some, again, have tasted it. You feel happy when you see milk; you are
nourished and strengthened when you drink it. You will get peace of mind
only when you have seen God. You will enjoy bliss and gain strength only
when you have talked to Him."

SHRISH: "We do not have time to pray to
God.'

MASTER (with a smile): "That is true.
Nothing comes to pass except at
the right time. Going to bed, a child said to his mother, 'Mother, please
wake me up when I feel the call of nature.' 'My son,' said the mother, 'that
urge itself will wake you up. I don't have to wake you.'

"It is all decided beforehand by God what each one shall receive. A
mother-in-law used to measure rice with a dish for her daughters-in-law.
But it was not enough for them. One day the dish was broken and that
made the girls happy. But the mother-in-law said to them, 'Children, you
may shout and dance, but I can measure the rice with the palm of my hand.'

(To Shrish): "Surrender everything at the feet of God. What else can
you do? Give Him the power of attorney. Let Him do whatever He thinks
best. If you rely on a great man, he will never injure you.

"It is no doubt necessary to practise spiritual discipline; but there are two
kinds of aspirants. The nature of the one kind is like that of the young
monkey, and the nature of the other kind is like that of the kitten. The
young monkey, with great exertion, somehow clings to its mother. Likewise,
there are some aspirants who think that in order to realize God they must
repeat His name a certain number of times, meditate on Him for a certain
period, and practise a certain amount of austerity. An aspirant of this kind
makes his own efforts to catch hold of God. But the kitten, of itself, cannot
cling to its mother. It lies on the ground and cries, 'Mew, mew!' It
leaves everything to its mother. The mother cat sometimes puts it on a bed,
sometimes on the roof behind a pile of wood. She carries the kitten in her
mouth hither and thither. The kitten doesn't know how to cling to the
mother. Likewise, there are some aspirants who cannot practise spiritual
discipline by calculating about japa or the period of meditation. All that they
do is cry to God with yearning hearts. God hears their cry and cannot keep
Himself away. He reveals Himself to them."

At noon the host wished to feed the Master and the devotees. Sri Ramakrishna
was smilingly pacing the room. Now and then he exchanged a few
words with the musician.

MUSICIAN: "It is God alone who is both
the 'instrument' and the 'cause'.
Duryodhana said to Krishna: 'O Lord, Thou art seated in my heart. I act
as Thou makest me act.'"

MASTER (with a smile): "Yes, that
is true. It is God alone who acts
through us. He is the Doer, undoubtedly, and man is His instrument. But
it is also true that an action cannot fail to produce its result. Your stomach
will certainly burn if you eat hot chilli. It is God who has ordained that
chilli will burn your stomach. If you commit a sin, you must bear its fruit.
But one who has attained perfection, realized God, cannot commit sin.
An expert singer cannot sing a false note. A man with a trained voice sings
the notes correctly: sa, re, ga, ma, pa, dha, ni."

The meal was ready. The Master and the devotees went to the inner
court, where they were treated to a generous feast.

About three o'clock in the afternoon the Master was seated again in
Ishan's drawing-room with M. and Shrish. He resumed his conversation with
Shrish.

MASTER: "What is your attitude toward
God? 'I am He', or 'Master and
servant'? For the householder it is very good to look on God as the Master.
The householder is conscious of doing the duties of life himself. Under
such conditions how can he say, 'I am He'? To him who says, 'I am He' the
world appears to be a dream. His mind, his body, even his ego, are dreams
to him. Therefore he cannot perform worldly duties. So it is very good for
the householder to look on himself as the servant and on God as the Master.

"Hanuman had the attitude of a servant. He said to Rama: 'O Rama,
sometimes I meditate on You as the whole and on myself as the part. Sometimes
I feel that You are the Master and I am the servant. But when I have
the Knowledge of Reality, I see that I am You and You are I.'

"In the state of Perfect Knowledge one may feel, 'I am He'; but that is
far beyond the ordinary man's experience."

SHRISH: "That is true, sir. The attitude
of a servant relieves a man of
all his worries. The servant depends entirely upon his master. A dog is
devoted to its master. It depends upon him and is at peace."

MASTER: "Well, what suits your taste — God
with form or the formless.
Reality? But to tell you the truth, He who is formless is also endowed with
form. To His bhaktas He reveals Himself as having a form. It is like a
great ocean, an infinite expanse of water, without any trace of shore. Here
and there some of the water has been frozen. Intense cold has turned it into
ice. Just so, under the cooling influence, so to speak, of the bhakta's love,
the Infinite appears to take a form. Again, the ice melts when the sun rises;
it becomes water as before. Just so, one who follows the path of knowledge
— the path of discrimination — does not see the form of God any more. To
him everything is formless. The ice melts into formless water with the rise
of the Sun of Knowledge. But mark this: form and formlessness belong to
one and the same Reality."

At dusk the Master was ready to start for Dakshineswar. He stood on the
south porch of the drawing-room, talking to Ishan. Someone remarked that
the chanting of God's holy name did not always produce results. Ishan
said: "How can you say that? The seeds of an aswattha tree are no doubt
tiny, but in them lie the germs of big trees. It may take a very long time
for them to grow."

"Yes, yes!" said the Master. "It takes a long time to see the effect."

Next to Ishan's was his father-in-law's house. Sri Ramakrishna stood at
the door of this house, ready to get into the carriage. Ishan and his friends
stood around to bid him adieu. Sri Ramakrishna said to Ishan: "You are
living in the world as a mudfish lives in the mud. It lives in the mud but
its body is not stained.

There are both vidya and avidya in this world of maya. Who may be
called a paramahamsa? He who, like a swan, can take the milk from a mixture
of milk and water, leaving aside the water. He who, like an ant, can
take the sugar from a mixture of sugar and sand, leaving aside the sand."

It was evening. The Master stopped at Ram's house on his way to
Dakshineswar. He was taken to the drawing-room and there he engaged in
conversation with Mahendra Goswami. Mahendra belonged to the Vaishnava
sect and was Ram's neighbour. Sri Ramakrishna was fond of him.

MASTER: 'The worshippers of Vishnu and the
worshippers of Sakti will
all ultimately reach one and the same goal; the ways may be different. The
true Vaishnavas do not criticize the Saktas."

GOSWAMI (smiling): "Siva and
Parvati are our Father and Mother."

Sri Ramakrishna, out of his stock of a dozen English words, said sweetly,
"Thank you!" Then he added, "Yes, Father and Mother!"

GOSWAMI: "Besides, it is a sin to
criticize anyone, especially a devotee of
God. All sins may be forgiven, but not the sin of criticizing a devotee."

MASTER: "But this idea of sin does not by
any means affect all. For instance,
the Isvarakotis, such as Incarnations of God, are above sin. Sri
Chaitanya is an example.

"A child, walking on a narrow ridge and holding to his father, may slip
into the ditch. But that can never happen if the father holds the child by
the hand.

"Listen. I prayed to the Divine Mother for pure love. I said to Her:
'Here is Thy righteousness, here is Thy unrighteousness. Take them both
and give me pure love for Thee. Here is Thy purity, here is Thy impurity.
Take them both and give me pure love for Thee. O Mother, here is Thy
virtue, here is Thy vice. Take them both and give me pure love for Thee.'"

GOSWAMI: "Yes, sir. That is right."

MASTER: "You should undoubtedly bow before
all views. But there is a thing called unswerving
devotion to one ideal. True, you should salute everyone. But you must love one
ideal with your whole soul. That is unswerving devotion.

"Hanuman could not take delight in any other form than that of Rama.
The gopis had such single-minded love for the cowherd Krishna of Vrindavan
that they did not care to see the turbaned Krishna of Dwaraka.

"A wife may serve her husband's brothers by fetching water, or in other
ways, but she cannot serve them in the way she does her husband. With
him she has a special relationship."

Ram treated the Master to sweets. Sri Ramakrishna was ready to start for
Dakshineswar. He put on his woolen shawl and cap, and got into the carriage
with M. and the other devotees. Ram and his friends saluted the
Master.

Saturday, December 29, 1883

It was the day of the new moon, auspicious for the worship of the Divine
Mother. At one o'clock in the afternoon Sri Ramakrishna got into a carriage
to visit the temple of Kali at Kalighat. He intended to stop at Adhar's house
on the way, since Adhar was to accompany him to the temple. While the
carriage was waiting near the north porch of the Master's room, M. went to
the Master and said, "Sir, may I also go with you?"

MASTER: "Why?"

M: "I should like to visit my home in Calcutta."

Sri Ramakrishna reflected a moment and said: "Must you go home? Why?
You are quite all right here."

M. wanted to see his people a few hours, but evidently the Master did
not approve.

Sunday, December 30, 1883

At three o'clock in the afternoon, while M. was walking up and down
under a tree, a devotee came to him and said that the Master had sent for
him. M. went to Sri Ramakrishna's room and found a number of devotees
there. He saluted the Master.

Ram, Kedar, and others had arrived from Calcutta. Ram had brought
with him the Vedantist monk whom the Master had visited near his garden
a few days earlier. On that occasion Sri Ramakrishna had asked him to
bring the sadhu to Dakshineswar.

The monk was sitting on the small couch with the Master. They were
talking happily in Hindusthani.

MASTER: "What do you feel about all this?"

MONK: "It is all like a dream."

MASTER: "Brahman alone is real and the
world illusory. Well, sir, what is Brahman?"

MONK: "Brahman is the Sound. It is Om."

MASTER: "But there must be something indicated by the sound. Isn't
that so?"

MONK: "That Itself is the thing
indicated as well as the indicator."

At these words Sri Ramakrishna went into samadhi and sat motionless.
The monk and the devotees looked wonderingly at him in his ecstatic condition.
Kedar said to the monk: "Look at him, sir. This is samadhi."

The monk had read of samadhi but had never seen it before. After a few
minutes the Master began gradually to come down to the normal plane
of consciousness. He said to the Divine Mother: "Mother, I want to be
normal. Please don't make me unconscious. I should like to talk to the
sadhu about Satchidananda. Mother, I want to be merry talking about
Satchidananda."

The monk was amazed to see the Master's condition and to hear these
words. Sri Ramakrishna said to him: "Please do away with your 'I am He'.
Let us now keep 'I' and 'Thou' to enjoy the fun."

A little later the Master was walking in the Panchavati with Ram, Kedar,
M., and the other devotees.

MASTER (to Kedar, with a smile): "What
did you think of the sadhu?"

KEDAR: "It is all dry knowledge. The pot
has just been put on the fire, but as yet there is no rice in it."

MASTER: "That may be true. But he has
renounced everything. He who
has renounced the world has already made great progress. The sadhu belongs
to the stage of the beginner. Nothing can be achieved without the realization
of God. When a man is intoxicated with ecstatic love of God, he doesn't
take delight in anything else. Then —

Kedar repeated the words of a song in keeping with the Master's feeling:

How shall I open my heart, O friend?
It is forbidden me to speak.
I am about to die, for lack of a kindred soul
To understand my misery. . . .

Sri Ramakrishna returned to his room. About four o'clock the door of the
Kali temple was opened, and the Master walked to the temple with the
monk; M. accompanied them. Entering the inner chamber, the Master
prostrated himself reverently before the image. The monk, with folded
hands, also bowed his head repeatedly before Kali.

MASTER: "What do you think of Kali?"

MONK (with devotion): "Kali is supreme."

MASTER: "Kali and Brahman are identical. Is that not so?"

MONK: "As long as one's mind is turned
to the outer world, one must
accept Kali. As long as a man sees the outer world, and discriminates between
good and evil, he must accept good and reject evil. To be sure, all names and
forms are illusory; but as long as the mind sees the outer world, the aspirant
must give up woman. The ideas of good and evil are applied to one who is
still a student on the path; otherwise he will stray from the path of
righteousness."

Thus conversing, the Master and the monk returned from the temple.

MASTER (to M.): "Did you notice
that the sadhu bowed before Kali?"

M: "Yes, sir."

Monday, December 31, 1883

At four o'clock in the afternoon the Master was sitting in his room with
M., Rakhal, Latu, Harish, and other devotees.

Addressing M. and Balaram, the Master said: "Haladhari followed the
path of knowledge. Day and night he used to study the Upanishads, the
Adhyatma Ramayana, and similar books on Vedanta. He would turn up his
nose at the mention of the forms of God. Once I ate from the leaf-plates
of the beggars. At this Haladhari said to me, 'How will you be able to marry
your children?' I said: 'You rascal! Shall I ever have children? May your
mouth that repeats words from the Gita and the Vedanta be blighted!' Just
fancy! He declared that the world was illusory and, again, would meditate in
the temple of Vishnu with turned-up nose."

In the evening Balaram and the other devotees returned to Calcutta. The
Master remained in his room, absorbed in contemplation of the Divine
Mother. After a while the sweet music of the evening worship in the
temples was heard.

A little later the Master began to talk to the Mother in a tender voice
that touched the heart of M., who was seated on the floor. After repeating,
"Hari Om! Hari Om! Om!", the Master said: "Mother, don't make me
unconscious with the Knowledge of Brahman. Mother, I don't want
Brahmajnana. I want to be merry. I want to play." Again he said: "Mother, I
don't know the Vedanta; and Mother, I don't even care to know. The Vedas
and the Vedanta remain so far below when Thou art realized, O Divine
Mother!" Then he said: "O Krishna, I shall say to Thee, 'Eat, my Child!
Take this, my Child!' O Krishna, I shall say to Thee, 'My Child, Thou hast
assumed this body for my sake.'"

Wednesday, January 2, 1884

Rakhal, Latu, Harish, Ramlal, and M. had been staying with Sri Ramakrishna
at the temple garden. About three o'clock in the afternoon M. found
the Master on the west porch of his room engaged in conversation with a
Tantrik devotee. The Tantrik was wearing an ochre cloth. Sri Ramakrishna
asked M. to sit by his side. Perhaps the Master intended to instruct him
through his talk with the Tantrik devotee. Mahima Chakravarty had sent
the latter to the Master.

MASTER (to the Tantrik): "It is a
part of the Tantrik discipline to drink wine
from a human skull. This wine is called 'karana'. Isn't that so?"

MASTER: "I don't care for japa and
austerity. But I have constant remembrance and consciousness of God.

"Tell me, when they speak of the six centres, what do they mean?"

TANTRIK: "These are like different holy
places. In each of the centres
dwell Siva and Sakti. One cannot see them with the physical eyes. One
cannot take them out by cutting open the body."

M. listened silently to the conversation. Looking at him, the Master asked
the Tantrik devotee, "Can a man attain perfection without the help of a
vija mantra, a sacred word from the guru?"

TANTRIK: "Yes, he can if he has faith —
faith in the words of the guru."

The Master turned to M. and said, drawing his attention, "Faith!"

After the Tantrik devotee had taken his leave, Jaygopal Sen, a member of
the Brahmo Samaj, arrived. The Master talked with him.

MASTER (to Jaygopal): "One should
not harbour malice toward any person
or any opinion. The believers in the formless God and the worshippers
of God with form are all, without exception, going toward God alone. The
jnani, the yogi, the bhakta — all, without exception, are seeking Him alone.
The follower of the path of knowledge calls Him 'Brahman'. The yogi calls
Him 'Atman' or 'Paramatman'. The bhakta calls Him 'Bhagavan'. Further,
it is said that there is the Eternal Lord and His Eternal Servant."

JAYGOPAL: "How can we know that all paths
are true?"

MASTER: "A man can reach God if he follows
one path rightly. Then he
can learn about all the other paths. It is like reaching the roof by some
means or other. Then one is able to climb down by the wooden or stone
stairs, by a bamboo pole, or even by a rope.

"A devotee can know everything when God's grace descends on him. If
you but realize Him, you will be able to know all about Him. You should
somehow meet the master of a house and become acquainted with him; then
he himself will tell you how many houses he owns and all about his gardens
and government securities."

JAYGOPAL: "How does one receive the grace
of God?"

MASTER: "Constantly you have to chant the
name and glories of God and
give up worldly thoughts as much as you can. With the greatest effort you
may try to bring water into your field for your crops, but it may all leak out
through holes in the ridges. Then all your efforts to bring the water by digging
a canal will be futile.

"You will feel restless for God when your heart becomes pure and your
mind free from attachment to the things of the world. Then alone will your
prayer reach God. A telegraph wire cannot carry messages if it has a break
or some other defect.

"I used to cry for God all alone, with a longing heart. I used to weep,
'O God, where art Thou?' Weeping thus, I would lose all consciousness of
the world. My mind would merge in the Mahavayu.

"How can one attain yoga? By completely renouncing attachment to
worldly things. The mind must be pure and without blemish, like the telegraph
wire that has no defect.

"One must not cherish any desire whatever. The devotion of a man who
has any desire is selfish. But desireless devotion is love for its own sake.
You may love me or not, but I love you: this is love for its own sake.

"The thing is that one must love God. Through intense love one attains
the vision of Him. The attraction of the husband for the chaste wife, the
attraction of the child for its mother, the attraction of worldly possessions
for the worldly man — when a man can blend these three into one, and direct
it all to God, then he gets the vision of God."

Jaygopal was a man of the world. Was this why the Master gave instruction
suited to him?

At eight o'clock that evening the Master was sitting m his room with
Rakhal and M. It was the twenty-first day of M.'s stay with Sri Ramakrishna.
The Master had forbidden him to indulge in reasoning.

MASTER (to Rakhal): "It is not good
to reason too much. First comes God,
and then the world. Realize God first; then you will know all about His
world. (To M. and Rakhal) If first one is introduced to Jadu Mallick, then
one can know everything about him — the number of his houses, gardens,
government securities, and so on. For this reason the rishi Narada advised
Valmiki1
to repeat the word 'mara'. 'Ma' means God, and 'ra' the world.
First comes God, and then the world. Krishnakishore said that the word
'mara' is a holy mantra because it was given to Valmiki by the rishi. 'Ma'
means God, and 'ra' the world.

"Therefore, like Valmiki, one should at first renounce everything and cry
to God in solitude with a longing heart. The first thing necessary is the
vision of God; then comes reasoning — about the scriptures and the world.

(To M.) "That is why I have been telling you not to reason any more. I
came from the pine-grove to say that to you. Through too much reasoning
your spiritual life will be injured; you will at last become like Hazra. I used
to roam at night in the streets, all alone, and cry to the Divine Mother, 'O
Mother, blight with Thy thunderbolt my desire to reason!' Tell me that you
won't reason any more."

M: "Yes, sir. I won't reason any more."

MASTER: "Everything can be achieved through
bhakti alone. Those who
want the Knowledge of Brahman will certainly achieve that also by following
the trail of bhakti.

"Can a man blessed with the grace of God ever lack Knowledge? At
Kamarpukur I have seen grain-dealers measuring paddy. As one heap is
measured away another heap is pushed forward to be measured. The Mother
supplies the devotees with the 'heap' of Knowledge.

"After attaining God, one looks on a pundit as mere straw and dust.
Padmalochan said to me: 'What does it matter if I accompany you to a
meeting at the house of a fisherman?2
With you I can dine even at the house of a pariah.'

"Everything can be realized simply through love of God. If one is able to
love God, one does not lack anything. Kartika and Ganesa3
were seated near Bhagavati, who had a necklace of gems around Her neck. The Divine
Mother said to them, 'I will present this necklace to him who is the first to
go around the universe.' Thereupon Kartika, without losing a moment, set
out on the peacock, his carrier. Ganesa, on the other hand, in a leisurely
fashion went around the Divine Mother and prostrated himself before Her.
He knew that She contained within Herself the entire universe. The Divine
Mother was pleased with him and put the necklace around his neck. After
a long while Kartika returned and found his brother seated there with the
necklace on.

"Weeping, I prayed to the Mother: 'O Mother, reveal to me what is contained
in the Vedas and the Vedanta. Reveal to me what is in the Purana
and the Tantra.' One by one She has revealed all these to me.

"Yes, She has taught me everything. Oh, how many things She has shown
me! One day She showed me Siva and Sakti everywhere. Everywhere I
saw the communion of Siva and Sakti. Siva and Sakti existing in all living
things — men, animals, trees, plants. I saw Them in the communion of all
male and female elements.

"Another day I was shown heaps of human heads, mountain high. Nothing
else existed, and I was seated alone in their midst.

"Still another day She showed me an ocean. Taking the form of a salt
doll, I was going to measure its depth. While doing this, through the grace
of the guru I was turned to stone. Then I saw a ship and at once got into it.
The helmsman was the guru. I hope you pray every day to Satchidananda,
who is the Guru. Do you?"

M: "Yes, sir."

MASTER: "The guru was the helmsman in that
boat. I saw that 'I' and
'you' were two different things. Again I jumped into the ocean, and was
changed into a fish. I found myself swimming joyfully in the Ocean of
Satchidananda.

"These are all deep mysteries. What can you understand through reasoning
ing? You will realize everything when God Himself teaches you. Then you
will not lack any knowledge."

Friday, January 4, 1884.

Sri Ramakrishna was sitting in his room. M. was still staying with the
Master, devoting his time to the practice of spiritual discipline. He had
been spending a great part of each day in prayer and meditation under the
bel-tree, where the Master had performed great austerities and had seen
many wonderful visions of God.

MASTER (to M.): "Don't reason any
more. In the end, reasoning only
injures the aspirant. One should assume a particular attitude toward God
while praying to Him — the attitude of friend or servant or son or 'hero'.

"I assume the attitude of a child. To me every woman is my mother.
The divine Maya, seeing this attitude in an aspirant, moves away from his
path out of sheer shame.

"The attitude of 'hero' is extremely difficult. The Saktas and the Bauls
among the Vaishnavas follow it, but it is very hard to keep one's spiritual life
pure in that attitude. One can assume other attitudes toward God as well —
the attitude in which the devotee serenely contemplates God as the Creator,
the attitude of service to Him, the attitude of friendship, the attitude of
motherly affection, or the attitude of conjugal love. The conjugal relationship,
the attitude of a woman to her husband or sweetheart, contains all the rest
— serenity, service, friendship, and motherly affection. (To M.) Which one
of these appeals to your mind?"

M: "I like them all."

MASTER: "When one attains perfection one
takes delight in all these
relationships. In that state a devotee has not the slightest trace of lust. The
holy books of the Vaishnavas speak of Chandidas and the washerwoman.
Their love was entirely free from lust.

"In that state a devotee looks on himself as a woman. He does not regard
himself as a man. Sanatana Goswami refused to see Mirabai because she was
a woman. Mira informed him that at Vrindavan the only man was Krishna
and that all others were His handmaids. 'Was it right of Sanatana to think
of himself as a man?' Mira inquired."

At dusk M. was sitting at the Master's feet. Sri Ramakrishna had been
told that Keshab's illness had taken a turn for the worse. He was talking
about Keshab and incidentally about the Brahmo Samaj.

MASTER (to M.): "Do they only give
lectures in the Brahmo Samaj? Or
do they also meditate? I understand that they call their service in the temple
upasana.

"Keshab at one time thought a great deal of Christianity and the Christian
views. At that time, and even before, he belonged to Devendranath Tagore's
organization."

M: "Had Keshab Babu come here from the very beginning, he would
not have been so preoccupied with social reform. He would not have been
so busy with the abolition of the caste system, widow remarriage, intercaste
marriage, women's education, and such social activities."

MASTER: "Keshab now believes in Kali as the Embodiment of Spirit and
Consciousness, the Primal Energy. Besides, he repeats the holy name of the
Mother and chants Her glories.

"Do. you think the Brahmo Samaj will develop in the future into a sort
of social-reform organization?"

M: "The soil of this country is different. Only what is true survives here."

MASTER: "Yes, that is so. The Sanatana
Dharma, the Eternal Religion
declared by the rishis, will alone endure. But there will also remain some
sects like the Brahmo Samaj. Everything appears and disappears through
the will of God."

Earlier in the afternoon several devotees from Calcutta had visited the
Master and had sung many songs. One of the songs contained the following
idea: "O Mother, You have cajoled us with red toys. You will certainly come
running to us when we throw them away and cry ourselves hoarse for You."

MASTER (to M.): "How well they sang
about the red toys!"

M: "Yes, sir. You once told Keshab about the red toys."

MASTER: "Yes. I also told him about the
Chidakasa, the Inner Consciousness, and about many other things. Oh, how happy
we were! We used to sing and dance together."

Saturday, January 5, 1884

It was the twenty-third day of M.'s stay with Sri Ramakrishna. M. had
finished his midday meal about one o'clock and was resting in the nahabat
when suddenly he heard someone call his name three or four times. Coming
out, he saw Sri Ramakrishna calling to him from the verandah north of
his room.

M. saluted the Master and they conversed on the south verandah.

MASTER: "I want to know how you meditate.
When I meditated under
the bel-tree I used to see various visions clearly. One day I saw in front of
me money, a shawl, a tray of sandesh, and two women. I asked my mind,
'Mind, do you want any of these?' I saw the sandesh to be mere filth. One
of the women had a big ring in her nose. I could see both their inside and
outside — entrails, filth, bone, flesh, and bloods The mind did not want any
of these — money, shawl, sweets, or women. It remained fixed at the Lotus
Feet of God.

"A small balance has two needles, the upper and the lower. The mind is
the lower needle. I was always afraid lest the mind should move away from
the upper needle — God. Further, I would see a man always sitting by me
with a trident in his hand. He threatened to strike me with it if the lower
needle, moved away from the upper one.

"But no spiritual progress is possible without the renunciation of 'woman
and gold'. I renounced these three: land, wife, and wealth. Once I went to
the Registry Office to register some land, the title of which was in the name
of Raghuvir. The officer asked me to sign my name; but I didn't do it,
because I couldn't feel that it was 'my' land. I was shown much respect as
the guru of Keshab Sen. They presented me with mangoes, but I couldn't
carry them home. A sannyasi cannot lay things up.

"How can one expect to attain God without renunciation? Suppose one
thing is placed upon another; how can you get the second without removing
the first?

"One must pray to God without any selfish desire. But selfish worship, if
practised with perseverance, is gradually turned into selfless worship. Dhruva
practised tapasya to obtain his kingdom, but at last he realized God. He
said, 'Why should a man give up gold if he gets it while searching for glass
beads?'

"God can be realized when a man acquires sattva. Householders engage
in philanthropic work, such as charity, mostly with a motive. That is not
good. But actions without motives are good. Yet it is very difficult to leave
motives out of one's actions.

"When you realize God, will you pray to Him, 'O God, please grant that
I may dig reservoirs, build roads, and found hospitals and dispensaries'?
After the realization of God all such desires are left behind.

"Then mustn't one perform acts of compassion, such as charity to the
poor? I do not forbid it. If a man has money, he should give it to remove the
sorrows and sufferings that come to his notice. In such an event the wise
man says, 'Give the poor something.' But inwardly he feels: 'What can I
do? God alone is the Doer. I am nothing.'

"The great souls, deeply affected by the sufferings of men, show them
the way to God. Sankaracharya kept the 'ego of Knowledge' in order to teach
mankind. The gift of knowledge and devotion is far superior to the gift of
food. Therefore Chaitanyadeva distributed bhakti to all, including the out-caste.
Happiness and suffering are the inevitable characteristics of the body.
You have come to eat mangoes. Fulfil that desire. The one thing needful is
jnana and bhakti. God alone is Substance; all else is illusory.

"It is God alone who does everything. You may say that in that case man
may commit sin. But that is not true. If a man is firmly convinced that God
alone is the Doer and that he himself is nothing, then he will never make a
false step.

"It is God alone who has planted in man's mind what the 'Englishman'4
calls free will. People who have not realized God would become engaged in
more and more sinful actions if God had not planted in them the notion of
free will. Sin would have increased if God had not made the sinner feel
that he alone was responsible for his sin.

"Those who have realized God are aware that free will is a mere appearance.
In reality man is the machine and God its Operator, man is the carriage
and God its Driver."

It was about four o'clock. Rakhal and several other devotees were listening
to a kirtan by M. in the hut at the Panchavati. Rakhal went into a spiritual
mood while listening to the devotional song. After a while the Master came
to the Panchavati accompanied by Baburam and Harish. Other devotees
followed.

RAKHAL: "How well he [referring to M.]
sang kirtan for us! He made us all very happy."

The Master sang in an ecstatic mood:

O friends, how great is my relief
To hear you chanting Krishna's name! . . .

To the devotees he said, "Always sing devotional songs." Continuing, he
said: "To love God and live in the company of the devotees: that is all.
What more is there?'' He said, again: "When Krishna went to Mathura,
Yasoda came to Radha, who was absorbed in meditation. Afterwards Radha
said to Yasoda: 'I am the Primordial Energy. Ask a boon of Me.' 'What
other boon shall I ask of You?' said Yasoda. 'Only bless me that I may serve
God with my body, mind, and tongue; that I may behold His devotees with
these eyes, that I may meditate on Him with this mind, and that I may
chant His name and glories with this tongue.'

"But those who are firmly established in God may do as well without the
devotees. This is true of those who feel the presence of God both within and
without. Sometimes they don't enjoy the devotees' company. You don't
whitewash a wall inlaid with mother of pearl — the lime won't stick."

The Master returned presently from the Panchavati, talking to M.

MASTER: "You have the voice of a woman.
Can't you practise a song such as this? —

Tell me, friend, how far is the grove
Where Krishna, my Beloved, dwells?

(To M., pointing to Baburam) "You see, my own people have become
strangers; Ramlal and my other relatives seem to be foreigners. And strangers
have become my own. Don't you notice how I tell Baburam to go and wash
his face? The devotees have become relatives.

(Looking at the Panchavati) "I used to sit there. In course of time I
became mad. That phase also passed away. Kala, Siva, is Brahman. That
which sports with Kala is Kali, the Primal Energy. Kali moves even the
Immutable"

Saying this, the Master sang:

My mind is overwhelmed with wonder,
Pondering the Mother's mystery;
Her very name removes
The fear of Kala, Death himself;
Beneath Her feet lies Maha-Kala. . . .

As the Master came to the bakul-tree he spoke to M. again: "Chidatma
and Chitsakti. The Purusha is the Chidatma and Prakriti is the Chitsakti.
Sri Krishna is the Chidatma and Sri Radha the Chitsakti. The devotees are
so many forms of the Chitsakti. They should think of themselves as
companions or handmaids of the Chitsakti, Sri Radha. This is the whole gist
of the thing."

After dusk Sri Ramakrishna went to the Kali temple and was pleased to
see M. meditating there.

The evening worship was over in the temples. The Master returned to
his room and sat on the couch, absorbed in meditation on the Divine Mother.
M. sat on the floor. There was no one else in the room.

The Master was in samadhi. He began to come gradually down to the
normal plane. His mind was still filled with the consciousness of the Divine
Mother. In that state he was speaking to Her like a small child making
importunate demands on his mother. He said in a piteous voice: "Mother,
why haven't You revealed to me that form of Yours, the form that bewitches
the world? I pleaded with You so much for it. But You wouldn't listen to
me. You act as You please."

The voice in which these words were uttered was very touching.

He went on: "Mother, one needs faith. Away with this wretched reasoning!
Let it be blighted! One needs faith — faith in the words of the guru,
childlike faith. The mother says to her child, 'A ghost lives there', and the
child is firmly convinced that the ghost is there. Again, the mother says to
the child, 'A bogy man is there', and the child is sure of it. Further, the
mother says, pointing to a man, 'He is your elder brother', and the child
believes that the man is one hundred and twenty-five per cent his brother.
One needs faith. But why should I blame them, Mother? What can they do?
It is necessary to go through reasoning once. Didn't You see how much I
told him about it the other day? But it all proved useless."

The Master was weeping and praying to the Mother in a voice choked
with emotion. He prayed to Her with tearful eyes for the welfare of the
devotees: "Mother, may those who come to You have all their desires fulfilled!
But please don't make them give up everything at once, Mother. Well,
You may do whatever You like in the end. If You keep them in the world,
Mother, then please reveal Yourself to them now and then. Otherwise, how
will they live? How will they be encouraged if they don't see You once in a
while? But You may do whatever You like in the end."

The Master was still in the ecstatic mood. Suddenly he said to M: "Look
here, you have had enough of reasoning. No more of it. Promise that you
won't reason any more."

M. (with folded hands): "Yes, sir. I won't."

MASTER: "You have had enough of it. When
you came to me the first time, I told you your spiritual Ideal. I know
everything about you, do I not?"

M. (with folded hands): "Yes, sir."

MASTER: "Yes, I know everything: what your
Ideal is, who you are, your inside and outside, the events of your
past lives, and your future. Do I not?"

M. (with folded hands): "Yes, sir."

MASTER: "I scolded you on learning that
you had a son. Now go home
and live there. Let them know that you belong to them. But you must
remember in your heart of hearts that you do not belong to them nor they
to you."

M. sat in silence. The Master went on instructing him.

MASTER: "You have now learnt to fly. But
keep your loving relationship
with your father. Can't you prostrate yourself before him?"

M. (with folded hands): "Yes, sir. I can."

MASTER: "What more shall I say to you? You
know everything. You understand, don't you?"

M. sat there without uttering a word.

MASTER: "You have understood, haven't you?"

M: "Yes, sir, I now understand a little."

MASTER: "No, you understand a great deal.
Rakhal's father is pleased about his staying here."

M. remained with folded hands.

MASTER: "Yes, what you are thinking will
also come to pass."

Sri Ramakrishna now came down to the normal state of mind. Rakhal
and Ramlal entered the room. At the Master's bidding Ramlal sang:

Who is the Woman yonder who lights the field of battle?
Darker Her body gleams even than the darkest storm-cloud
And from Her teeth there Hash the lightning's blinding flames! . . .

He sang again:

Who is this terrible Woman, dark as the sky at midnight?
Who is this Woman dancing over the field of battle? . . .

MASTER: "The Divine Mother and the
earthly mother. It is the Divine
Mother who exists in the form of the universe and pervades everything as
Consciousness. The earthly mother gives birth to this body. I used to go
into samadhi uttering the word 'Ma'. While repeating the word I would
draw the Mother of the Universe to me, as it were, like the fishermen casting
their net and after a while drawing it in. When they draw in the net they
find big fish inside it.

"Gauri once said that one attains true Knowledge when one realizes the
identity of Kali and Gauranga.6
That which is Brahman is also Sakti, Kali.
It is That, again, which, assuming the human form, has become Gauranga."

At the Master's request, Ramlal sang again, this time about Gauranga.

MASTER (to M.): "The Nitya and the
Lila are the two aspects of the
Reality. God plays in the world as man for the sake of His devotees. They
can love God only if they see Him in a human form; only then can they
show their affection for Him as their Brother, Sister, Father, Mother, or
Child.

"It is just for this love of the devotees that God contracts Himself into a
human form and descends on earth to play His lila."

^The author of the Ramayana. It is said that this sage had lived the
life of a highwayman. Coming in contact with Narada, he became eager to lead a
spiritual life. Narada asked him to chant the holy name of Rama as a spiritual
discipline; but on account of the sinful tendency of his mind, Valmiki could
not utter the holy word. He was then advised to repeat the word 'mara', the
reverse of 'Rama'. Through yearning and earnestness the heart of the robber
became purified, and it was then possible for him to chant Rama's name. As a
result he attained perfection.

^A reference to Mathur Babu, who belonged to the fisherman caste. The orthodox
brahmin refuses to set foot in the house of a fisherman, who belongs to a low
caste.