Ah, well it sounds like you are already doing

You have my sympathy. I have a fil who can be wonderful but who can also be passive-aggressive, self-centered, & controlling. We're constantly having to assess what is harmless & should pass & what is a boundary issue that must be addressed. It does sound as if you're dealing a bit less with garden variety stuff & a bit more with boundary issues.

Since you're already biting your tongue, picking your battles, & turning a blind eye toward most things, I would be less inclined to overlook disregard for the few lines you are drawing, but that's just my take based on your new post.

It just does seem as if you're doing a very fair job with things & maybe these few seemingly small things aren't so small when everything is taken into account.