9/18/15

Gnat showed up in a van he said he’d been driving for two weeks,
but it looked like he’d owned it for twenty years. It was covered with dents,
dirt and debris on the outside, and the interior contained fossil layers of
convenience store and Burger King refuse, covering the once-pristine
upholstery. He’d driven this monstrosity to visit me while I was pretending to
get a college education in Savannah. In a weak moment of nostalgia for our hobo
high school years, I had invited this dumpster diver to spend a few days with
me in my new apartment. I was taken aback by his malodorous condition.

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is an illustrator and opinionated crank living in the bygone century known as South Carolina. His wide variety of neurotic quirks and extreme sensitivity to broad social trends are chronicled as The Symptoms, a continuing blog of sophisticated tantrums. Ashley's work has appeared in many defunct publications and hard-to-sell books. He is considered a complete failure by those envious of his genius. He has a website for some reason: www.ashleyholt.com