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Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Justice League #5 Review

I Want Justice!

I have not liked this book since Rebirth. If you have, I am glad for you and I bet that I couldn't convince you otherwise and vice versa. That's fine because I am not here to tell you what to think, but give you my review, for what that's worth. I will give Bryan Hitch credit, he came out of the box swinging and has tried to give fans a BIG story worthy of the Justice League (I almost wrote "Earth's Mightiest Heroes"). Yes, I said "tried". The biggest problem I have had with this book so far is the lack of any real information when it comes to the this threat. Sure, it seems big, but what the hell is it really? So, Bryan Hitch has one last issue to show us all what this story is all about. Does he pull back the curtain and make it all make sense or is it just another confusing entry in a book I want to drop? Let's find out...

The issue opens with a very cool looking Aquaman talking to the reader. It's less fourth wall breaking than utter nonsense as he tells us about the Magic Crystals. Of course, we don't get any new information which pretty much means we still know NOTHING!!! Well, maybe I'm being a little harsh...they are still singing, they tell Aquaman he is family and they can hold the world together. Hmmm...

We then get a peek at what the other Justice Leaguers are up to. Cyborg is connected to the Purge, Simon and Jessica are in space and Superman is pushing another Earth Breaker into the Earth's core. After another earthquake, Batman and Cyborg go to Flash who still has lost his speed. In one of the more humorous panels of the issue, Batman and Cyborg seem suddenly surprised by the skyscraper sized Kindred standing right next to them. Do these things have stealth tech we're not sure of because the same thing happened to Flash last issue?!?

We then visit Wonder Woman inside one of the Kindred and after continuing the gibberish between her and her host, she jumps out of it. Yep, she just dives out. The gibberish continues and if you read my review for issue #4, you will notice a theme here. Bryan Hitch continues dealing in generalities and I want someone to tell him that lack of information does not a mystery make! Batman doesn't know what is going on, but thinks it's reaching it's endgame and Wonder Woman thinks the Kindred are trying to awaken something, but doesn't know what. Oh goodie!

Finally, Batman figures out that fighting off the Purge is helping the Kindred and Flash decides to fight to get his speed back...by running fast around the Kindred. Talk about a chicken and egg situation. Cue Cyborg and his new found Purge controlling abilities and we have ourselves a fight.

Holy crap, it actually works, the Justice League decide to finally fight back and throw everything at the Kindred. Of course, the Kindred fight back, but after the Magic Crystals keep the world together and Superman brings the last Earth Breaker out of a volcano, it still is any one's game. As Batman says in a most un-Batman like way, "Normally, this is where one of us pulls something amazing and unexpected out of our collective assets,,," That amazing thing is Superman's Earth Breaker pulsing and tearing the Kindred apart. Maybe that would have been cool if we knew anything about the Kindred!

The issue and arc then ends with Batman saying this is far from over, Jessica giving Barry sexy eyes and Batman again summing up the lack of information we just got in five whole issues. Seriously, we are in the same position as we were in the first panel of the first issue. I think Bryan Hitch owes people an explanation and a refund.

Bryan Hitch needs to step away from this book before it is too late. End your fucking story!!! GIVE US AN ENDING!!! I half expected it all to be a dream with the last page being the Kindred getting out of the shower, drying their hair!!! This whole thing is a mess and he's turned the Justice League into a joke. It really is awful and not worth the $2.99 price tag. At this point, I'm not sure I would take a free issue. Yes, it's that bad!

It's not a total loss, however. Tony S. Daniel's art is really good and actually saved this issue from getting my lowest score ever. However, being pretty is not everything and unfortunately, the beauty here are only on the surface. Does that even make sense? Forgive me, I'm punch drunk right now.

Bits and Pieces:
My gut feeling is to give this a certain F-U score, but I don't want anyone to think I enjoyed this issue at all. As a single issue, it's bad, but as the finale of the first Rebirth arc, it's unforgivable. The reader is left confused and guessing as the heroes tell us it's not actually over. Oh, it's over! In fact, it never should have even started!

10 comments:

You'd hope that when you finish reading a story that you'd at least understand some of what the bad guy was planning, but instead we have no real idea what they were doing or really if they were even bad guys at all, just tease upon tease with no promise of a payoff

Damn it i want to start reading JL already, JL rebirth can be its own thing but imo it dhould have started with rebuilding the leauge talk about batman coming back wonder woman can have gaps in her memories or whatever, DEFINITELY talk about the new superman have actually show them initiate jessica and simon basicly set the ground work showing they have changed maybe expand the leauge then get into a new set of stories oh well, let me know when it becomes readable

I'm speechless. There are no words to adequately describe how bad this issue and series is. Not one question was answered...NOT ONE!!! We know nothing about the crystals, the purge, the kindred, the stupid things that were in the outer core of the earth, why any of the members of the Justice League do any of the things they do...NOTHING. And the cherry on top of this shit sundae, was Hitch's abrupt ending...END. Don't get me wrong, I was glad that it's over, but you've got to be kidding me. I hate this book and I hate this series! I feel bad for Tony S. Daniel, because his art is amazing and it's wasted on this trash. I completely agree Jim, this is absolutely unforgivable.

Shame on you, Brian Hitch, for insulting your fans, DC's fans, JUSTICE LEAGUE fans...hell,comic fans, in general...along with any hapless individuals who are thinking about getting into comics and make this issue their first...shame on you for insulting us all with this half-formed afterthought of a "story".

You guys need to have a "like" button for situations like this. I don't want to waste the energy to repeat what other people have already said about this book. I just want to reinforce it. UNFORGIVABLE. F-U 3!

wow this book is godawful, 3 out of 10 is actually really generous imo. Wonder Woman spent the whole story spewing gibberish, "my friends will beat you, you just wait" and indeed her friends defeated them while she literally didn't do anything lol

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