Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Nothing Better To Do In Alabama?

Spring college football practices are in the air. What does that mean for most fans? Nothing really. The players just do a lot of sprints and half-speed practices. Nothing special, nothing crazy. Except in Alabama where 92,000 people showed up for the spring game, apparently inspired by the bright future ahead for Crimson Tide football with the brilliant Nick Saban at the helm of the program. Wal-mart must have been closed or the NASCAR satellite ticket on the fritz for such an outpouring of support to happen in a meaningless game. Surely the Tide fans realized that Saban is already married and can't be bred with hundreds of young 'Bama coeds to increase the future IQ of the state by creating a race of non-retarded normies. At this rate, what will happen after the Crimson Tide lose their first game? Will Saban be ripped to pieces by an angry mob carrying torches and pitchforks while giving the post game press conference? One rule I've learned in this situation is that you never can predict the actions of someone who is too emotional and too stupid for their own good. I call it my female theory.