Presidential Wrestling Ornaments

Condoleezza Rice recently appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart to promote her memoir, No Higher Honor, and provide his liberal loyalists with fresh ammo for mocking her. Ms. Rice accomplished at least one of the two with the toothy, loveless telling of her first in-the-flesh meeting with Muammar Gaddafi. Apparently, Libya's favorite former militant ruler was also a Condi fetishist. So, after dispensing with the customary assalamu alaikums and high-fives, and the polite political banter tossed about for the benefit of the press, plus the small percentage of the American population that still thinks our government officials work for "the people", Gaddafi told Rice he had something to show her.

You're wondering if the item was in his pants, right? Indeed it probably was.

But what she told the Comedy Central viewing public that Gaddafi actually whipped out was a clip reel of Rice herself. Naked in her hotel room.

Just kidding. Interacting with various world political leaders, such as Vladimir Putin and Manny Pacquiao. And set to the tune of a ditty he had written for her, entitled "Black Rose in the White House". Slightly creepy, yet hilarious, right? Pretty, popular Condi Rice, the unwitting object of nerdy little Muammar's affections. How endearing and relatable. Makes you want to go out and buy her new book.

No? Then how about a Condi "Anacondaleeza" Rice Christmas tree ornament? Printed on recycled paper and available in assorted red and blue colors.

You can go all out Clark Griswold and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation on your holiday decorating this year without risking falling off the roof or running up a thousand-dollar electrical bill. Just make yourself...

I've dispatched the gifts I need to wrap, and am on to the stuff I need to stuff. Stockings were always my favorite part of Christmas as a kid. They'd been hanging on the mantel all flat and limp for weeks and then, suddenly...

Hairy Christmas, dudes! Wear this Sexy Chest Christmas Sweatshirt to your holiday party and watch Mrs. Claus become Mrs. Can't Keep Her Claus Off You. You'll not only put all the other Ugly Christmas Sweaters to shame...

Thousands of decorative lights from the palm of my hand to the branches of my trees, or spans of my walls in minutes. Minutes. Without the hassle of knotted wires. Without the danger of ladders. Without the frustration...

The Christmas Story Village collection shrinks snapshots of the highs and lows of Ralphie Parker and his family's life so that this holiday season, you can bring them a little closer to your own. From Ralphie's bunny...

If Santa approved of beard ornaments I think he would have invented Beardaments - or at least worn some - himself. Unless he's just leaving Beardaments to those they can really benefit. To all the lumberjacks and hipsters...

Remember Feisty Pets? The sweet-to-snarling stuffed animals are celebrating the holiday season with a Feisty Santa Bear, the ultimate cuddly teddy who can turn vicious grizzly in the blink of an eye. Or, more accurately...

While I appreciate the idea of this Dude Abides Ugly Christmas Sweater, I think it missed its chance of truly abiding by not making the background a Persian rug motif. Bowling balls and pins are nice and Lebowski affiliated...

If your wife won't let you Clark Griswald it up with a 20' Christmas tree in the house, take your desire to overdo it exuberant holiday spirit on the road with a Christmas Car Tree. The rooftop tannenbaum gives your car...

These Deadpool Christmas tree ornaments will look right at home dangling alongside the Bob Ross Funko Pop figure classing up my mantle. 'Tis the season for happy little trees and Deadpool 2 trailers...

Ugly Christmas Sweater season is here. The days, they have shortened. The temperatures, they have dropped. And the Tipsy Elves, they have knitted. The tacky, silly, funny, and dirty entries in their 2017 sweater line...