This is the story of how I almost accidentally bought a Corvette. How does one accidentally do something as major as that, you may be wondering? Excellent question. I really do a lot of things accidentally that I look back afterward and think- well, that was really stupid.

Oh, and here's another minor detail. I almost accidentally bought a Corvette with someone else's money.

My boyfriend owns a car dealership in Texas and weekly, he'll attend these things called "car auctions". This phenomenon was completely new to me since I wanted to keep the same car I received as a graduation present over 15 years ago for the rest of my life. That didn't happen as you may remember in Becoming An Adult At 32. But these auctions sounded crazy and fun. And they were!

I just got back from Texas and during my trip, got to attend my first car auction. Which turns out will probably be my last car auction, since clearly, I am a liability for business.

We arrive. We check in. We go through the doors and it's INSANITY. I'm talking TOTAL CRAZINESS. Six different lanes of cars are being auctioned off simultaneously. People are everywhere. Auctioneers are running their mouths about a mile a minute. It's loud. Really loud. In about 30 seconds cars are sold and up comes the next one for bid. It was total chaos and I loved just standing there taking it all in.

THEN, I gazed upon this beautiful white Corvette. The stuff Laura McKenna Dreams are made of.

I don't know if I've told you before: but I LOVE Corvettes. LOVE THEM. From the time I was a little girl and old enough to realize that vehicles come in all different shapes and sizes, I have been in love with these beauties.

I thought my life was complete in high school when I got to ride on top of one for homecoming.

My love is real and it runs deep. In fact, my Dad once said (accidentally, I think) that if I would be able to get onto the Honor Roll all through high school that he would buy me my own Corvette for graduation. What he really meant to say was "get All A's", but he accidentally said "Honor Roll". And once that deal was made at the age of 10, there was no changing it.

So throughout high school, you better believe that sometimes that was the only driving force behind showing up for a biology lab or attending a geography class. And to no one's surprise, I totally lived up to my end of the bet. And to my Dad's defense, so did he (technically). All along I'd get match-box Corvettes in my Christmas stocking- very funny, Dad. And once I even unwrapped a Corvette sweatshirt for my birthday.

But as my senior year drew to a close in 2001, he said, "All right. You've earned it. Let me know when you want to go Corvette shopping. You want a brand new one? I'll get it for you. You want a used one? That's fine, too."

I was kind of in shock. I really thought that he would try to wiggle out of this bet when it came down to really buying one since he accidentally messed up the bet conditions. But he didn't back out (technically). What threw a wrench into my life's plan was this small detail that he reminded me of again: "Remember," he said, "I'll buy whatever you want, but you have to pay the insurance. So you might want to start calling for quotes."

Well, insuring a 17 year old girl with a brand new Corvette on my meager Dairy Queen salary was....well....VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE!!! So, while he (technically) would have held up his end of the bargain, I did not get a Corvette for graduation. However, he did replace it with a more affordable car for my insurance budget. And honestly, I loved that car, too.

So back to the other day in Texas. Up pulls this GORGEOUS, snowy white Corvette which was next on the auction block.

Knowing my love for Corvettes, my boyfriend was not at all shocked when I yanked him over for a closer look. Oh my god. Seriously! Up close it was even more jaw-dropping. Which sent me ooh-ing and awe-ing and waving my arms around talking about everything that was perfect with that vehicle.

And WHAM! I got wrapped in a bear hug.

"Baby, you can't put your arms up like that or they'll think you're bidding." Oh....crap. I was flapping them around like a chicken.

He said it was fine because I didn't really make eye contact with the auctioneer, but sometimes all it would take is a little nod and that car could be yours. Which let me tell you, I would have loved. But again, there is that other minor detail of paying for it. All $72,000.00 that it went for. Which wouldn't have been the chicken flapper technically paying for it, but the guy with the chicken flapper who had the bid number. Oops. My bad. And while I know he loves me, I don't think he planned on seventy grand worth of love that day.

At that moment, a cowboy strolled up in his boots and ten-gallon hat and tried his persuasion, too. "She'd look really good driving that thing," Auctioneer Tex said to my boyfriend. But it wasn't working. "I know she would, but definitely not today", he smiled back.

So instead we left the auction with a slice of pizza, no cars, but more importantly, no car payments. Which in my book, is a good day. I also learned that while I can keep my head in the clouds thinking about my dream cars, I better keep my hands in my pockets. Because while accidents do happen, that would have been quite an expensive one to learn from.

Copyright 2016 Laura McKenna. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without express written consent.﻿

Bob is now driving for a car dealership in Akron. He goes to auctions and other dealerships and picks up cars for them .I will tell him to keep his hands in his pockets.

Reply

Karen

3/24/2016 06:17:40 pm

We watch auctions on tv sometimes so I can just picture this. Seeing you tho at this would of been priceless!!!! If you ever get a vet tho, take me for a spin!!!! :)

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Peggy

3/24/2016 06:35:34 pm

While my brother was in Vietnam, I had the pleasure of periodically driving his fire engine red Corvette. The looks, the guys, all that attention. I'll never forget it. Nothing like it before or since.