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Ladies, please don't ignore this

At 6:03 this morning, I got a text from one of my older brothers. "Call me." That cold hand clenching your heart when you know something is very wrong, but not what, is just about the worst feeling in the world, isn't it? I called. "Hey, how you doing?" I asked. Not so well, as it turns out. His wife--my sister-in-law, his life partner for 30 years, the mother of their three children--has advanced breast cancer. Apparently she's had it for a while. So far there is no prognosis, not even a treatment plan. I cannot talk to my niece (she of the cupcake wedding) today because they aren't planning to tell her until they know more, and I'm not sure I would hide it well.

Ladies. Mothers. Grandmothers. Aunts. My sisters. Please, please, please do those monthly self exams. Get the mammograms. Go to the doctor right away even if you think it's just a cyst. Please. I know it's scary, and I know you are busy. But breast cancer is treatable, SO treatable. And you are SO important.

Re: Ladies, please don't ignore this

Re: Ladies, please don't ignore this

Originally Posted by Srbo

I`m not a lady, but still.. praying and sending all good vibes to you and yours!

Good point, and thanks! Men, do not let the women in your lives ignore this stuff! Make sure they know that you need them to take care of themselves. And if they do find out they have cancer and you are so worried that you cannot be the one to be strong for them, to go to their appointments with them, to take care of them, be strong enough to find someone who will.

I'm going to try to talk my brother and SIL into coming here. My husband and I already talked. We have excellent treatment facilities. They can have our master bedroom and we will move upstairs (the chemo is going to kill the stairs option for her, and all the bedrooms in their house are upstairs anyway).

I know for them we need to be positive, but I can tell you guys: I am scared and so, so sad right now.

Re: Ladies, please don't ignore this

I second your plea. My mother in law had breast cancer and because she spotted it early made a full and complete recovery. That was 15 years ago. I never miss a mammogram. Prayers and positive vibes to you and yours.

Re: Ladies, please don't ignore this

Thank you, Todash. My best friend's angel of a mother is now suffering through her second breast cancer fight. But I have to say as someone who is not directly affected I tend to forget about it. Your reminder is a wonderful thing and this is something that, as a woman, I should ALWAYS be thinking about.

While it is not the death sentence it used to be, which causes some people, like me, to push it to the back of my mind, it is still a killer. I am embarrassed to say these things about myself because I know better.

I am so sorry, Todash, for your family and for you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post.

Please keep us updated. You know we will all be sending positive, healing vibes.

Re: Ladies, please don't ignore this

So sorry to hear this, Todash. My heart goes out to you and your family. Thank you for bringing this to everyone's awareness, it might save someone out there.

I think part of the problem is that women are tough, sometimes too tough, and are often taking care of so many other people (kids, husband, parents) but they sometimes will sacrifice their own bodies. I've seen this happening with my wife--she knows she has a hiatal hernia, and several ongoing dental problems, but doesn't consider these problems to be important enough to take care of because she's "too busy".

I would also add that men can get breast cancer too, to a much lesser extent than women, but they should do self-checks periodically as they age.