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So I tried to kill myself...

Yes sir, you read it correctly.Tried to inject a bunch of OxyContin and I failed to administer enough. The cleaning lady at the hotel I was at found my body with the needle still in my arm, blood running down my arm and collecting into a little pool in my hand. i was rushed to the ER and to my surprise, I was revived. I awoke and was immediately asked for insurance information then moved to a suicide watch ward. i would say all in all my time in LA was in interesting one. And to think all I wanted to do was go to Amoeba records and have a good time..

Needless to say, I am back home, recovering and have once again flaked on Randy. Fuck LA

Originally Posted by sames44

Marriage is a beautiful thing - everyone should try it at least twice in their lifetime.

Re: So I tried to kill myself...

Dear Lord... good to hear you are better man!

Did you pick up any good records atleast?

Originally Posted by bmack86

And it's been long established that Chris hates fun.

Originally Posted by Hatinisbad

I took my niece this year and it was her first Coachella. It was so fun to see it through her eyes. She thought it felt like a magical scene from Shreck. The one where all the fairy tale creatures meet for the first time in Shreck's swamp.

Re: So I tried to kill myself...

Frankie: Boy. You wanna talk about some pain? I bought one o' them linoleum knives the other day, you know?

Willie: With the double edge?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: Yeah?

Frankie: So, I go home, you know, and I spread my toes apart and I just start sawing, back and forth and back and forth, you know?

Willie: Mm hmm.

Frankie: And I take a little thing o' Tobasco sauce, you know?

Willie: Yeah.

Frankie: And just dump it on there. Talk about a hotfoot, mister! Boy, that was rough.

Willie: Yeah, I know what you mean. You know, the other day, I took one o' them, uh--?

Frankie: Meat thermometers?

Willie: Yeah! And I just shoved it into my ear, you know? As far as it could go, you know? But then I took one o' them, uh--?

Frankie: Ball-peen hammers?

Willie: Right. And just whacked it a few times right in there, you know.

Frankie: Boy, that must smart.

Willie: I know! I HATE when THAT happens.

Frankie: You know what I hate?

Willie: What?

Frankie: I go into the kitchen, I open the drawer, you know?

Willie: Uh huh?

Frankie: And I take out a, uh--

Willie: Carrot scraper?

Frankie: Right. And I stick it up my nose, you know, and I'm rootin' it around, and, you know, gettin' all the mucus membranes out o' there, you know? And then I take one o' them, uh--?

Willie: Mentholated eucalyptus cough drops?

Frankie: Right. And I stick it-- wedge it up there, you know? I take a couple o' whiffs, boy. Heh, ya feel like your head's gonna explode.

Willie: Boy, isn't THAT the truth? It's like the other night. I'm in the attic and I got a bunch o' mousetraps, ya know?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: And, for bait, I used a big piece of, uh--

Frankie: Camembert?

Willie: Right. So, so I set the trap, right? A-a-a-a-and I wanna see if the trap was gonna work, right? So I got the Camembert in there.

Frankie: Right.

Willie: But every time I went to taste the cheese, the thing came down right on my tongue! ... I'm tellin' ya -- after forty, fifty times, I - I - I couldn't even feel the cheese, much less taste it. I hate when THAT happens, I'll tell ya that.

Frankie: Boy, you know what I hate? I hate-- I got a gross o' them, uh--?

Willie: Razor blades?

Frankie: No.

Willie: Fish hooks?

Frankie: No.

Willie: Ah?

Frankie: Thumb tacks.

Willie: Ah! Yeah.

Frankie: Right?

Willie: Yeah.

Frankie: So I bring 'em home, you know, and I sprinkle 'em all out over the floor, you know?

Willie: Points up?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: Uh huh.

Frankie: Then I strip down to the nude and I just ROLL back and forth across the room, ya know? Stickin' in all over my body. Then I jump in a hot tub and just soak.

Re: So I tried to kill myself...

Yeahhh, torture motherfucker what?
[Torture ***** what?]
What?
I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin tie you to a fuckin bedpost
with your ass cheeks spread out and shit
Right?
Put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there
for like a half hour
Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like
Tssssssss

Re: So I tried to kill myself...

jesus, i hate people that try to kill themselves and fail. first of all, you are the biggest pussy bitch ever for even trying. all suicide does is cause pain for everybody you love, just cuz you cant stick out the tough times. and then to top it off, you cant even do that one thing right. suicide is for bitches, and failed suicide is so much worse i cant even think of a good burn for it. and whats worse is when you bitches fail at failing, then you come tell your story on the internet for sympathy. failed suicide either means you are dumb as dirt, or its just a cry for help. im guessing its the latter.

all that being said, please dont try again, cuz if you actually succeed this time, i will feel really bad like maybe it was my fault, lol. serious, just go see a shrink or talk to a friend. fuck, if you dont have any friends, post on a fuckin message board about it.

Re: So I tried to kill myself...

Originally Posted by sexecutioner

jesus, i hate people that try to kill themselves and fail. first of all, you are the biggest pussy bitch ever for even trying. all suicide does is cause pain for everybody you love, just cuz you cant stick out the tough times. and then to top it off, you cant even do that one thing right. suicide is for bitches, and failed suicide is so much worse i cant even think of a good burn for it. and whats worse is when you bitches fail at failing, then you come tell your story on the internet for sympathy. failed suicide either means you are dumb as dirt, or its just a cry for help. im guessing its the latter.

all that being said, please dont try again, cuz if you actually succeed this time, i will feel really bad like maybe it was my fault, lol. serious, just go see a shrink or talk to a friend. fuck, if you dont have any friends, post on a fuckin message board about it.

Re: So I tried to kill myself...

Wow... some people are pretty heartless around here.

Originally Posted by bmack86

And it's been long established that Chris hates fun.

Originally Posted by Hatinisbad

I took my niece this year and it was her first Coachella. It was so fun to see it through her eyes. She thought it felt like a magical scene from Shreck. The one where all the fairy tale creatures meet for the first time in Shreck's swamp.