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Sorry, people who were interested in the pervy and possibly illegal contents of Justin Bieber's "stolen computer." There are no nude photos; there was no laptop. There is only the savvy promotional team behind Bieber, who cooked up the whole story as a way to unveil his new, Nicki Minaj–featuring video "Beauty and the Beat." You got punk'd, or something. But now that Justin has your attention, he would like you to watch him lip-dub his way around a water park and grind on Nicki Minaj from two feet away. There are also some synchronized swimmers. You like synchronized swimming, right?