Here’s a Picture of Two Pairs of Feet on a Bed. You Fill in the Blanks.

Alrighty folks, here are some feet on a bed. They’re exposed from the covers just above the ankle, and they seem to be touching each other. Now, there are a few possibilities. Maybe it’s pair of Siamese twins laying in the bed, some severed Godfather-style legs or even a four-legged mutant man! But we think you know what’s really going on.

That’s right, let your mind wander into the gutter for a spell. These feet aren’t just for aesthetic pleasure, if you catch our drift. Clearly, they’re suggesting something more. Something a picture of intertwined shins would tastefully indicate without being too explicit.

But what might that something be? A PSA for the importance of podiatric health? Subtle advertising for a sheet manufacturer? A teaser for Shakira’s next album, Feet Don’t Lie? All valid guesses, but you’re thinking too PG.

Here’s a hint: what does our progressive college readership have in common with our culturally savvy team of writers? An awareness of something that starts with S. No, not ‘Spaghetti Monday’ at Mia Za’s (which is a deliciously great deal by the way). Something a little more, shall we say, ‘adult’ in nature.

We’re sure you’ve narrowed it down quite a bit by now. The answer is gradually sliding into your brain just like the smooth right heel is gently grazing that hairy right leg. At the risk of making it too easy, here’s another hint: there is no dog in the bed out of frame. No cat either. There may be a fishbowl in the room, but that shouldn’t affect your deduction.

So here we are. Four feet in a bed. We’ve laid it all out, and we’re confident that you’ll spring to the answer like an athlete with sculpted calves. Good luck, but don’t sleep on us just yet. Soon we’ll post a visual allegory for something only millennials experience, and that might be a bit more of a challenge.