Triggered!!! Who knew “out of his league” would bring the trolls out in droves?

**For those new to my blog and to the analysis of tribal roles, including alpha, beta, sigma and omega, please know that beta is a very real tribal role; in our everyday speech, we as a society use “beta” as an adjective to refer to weak or submissive male behavior, but in the sense of tribal roles, betas are great! Most people are betas. Alphas lead, betas follow, omegas often operate as outcasts, but when healthy, are contributing if highly introverted members of the tribe, and sigmas are the lone wolves of the tribe, highly autonomous, for better or for worse. For more on tribal roles, you may enjoy my videos on youtube.

I had the mis (or maybe dis?) fortune of triggering a troll the other night when I was tweeting “observations from a barstool” while enjoying a drink at my local watering hole. I noticed a couple on a first date and live tweeted as I watched their date go from decent to interesting to fizzled out.

2 female friends sitting across from each other in a booth … the one on the left, very introverted, normally withdrawn. The more extroverted slightly younger friend's animated face & hands draw the introvert out of her normal social discomfort.

As they grow more interesting to each other, it becomes uncomfortable to twist toward each other. He moves his whole body 45 degrees so that he is facing her more directly. He keeps one elbow on the bar at all times to show that he's cool & not *too interested.*

Two omega friends-2 straight men-share beers. They don't handle their liquor well (omegas never do) & so they each only have one beer …. sipping it very very slowly. They wish girls could be like this, just cool, not so emotionally confusing. The aura of RELIEF surrounds them.

They need to both get on OK Cupid — STAT! It’s all a numbers game!! FIND HER!!

A family — a dad, a mom, and a teenage girl (17?) have dinner. Mom stares at her food mostly. Daughter is obediently avoiding her phone … dad looks at daughter. When did things change? Denial is their bandaid. The gaping head wound begins to fester.

This was gross to watch. I wanted to tweet more. Buuuuuuut, decided not to.

If this keeps up, he'll have to marry her! She's so normal! So funny, so open, so not fake! (they are both betas – they believe in being on time, making the max deposit into one's 401k, and that lying is generally ok, especially if it will end an uncomfortable situation…

Remember, betas are grrrrreat! They take minimal risks, they plan for the future, and they are suggestible so that during times of crisis, they will follow a strong Alpha’s direction, ensuring the survival of themselves and their offspring. Being a beta is NOT BAD!! The vast majority of the tribe falls into the beta category. They care about appearances and thus shower, brush their teeth, go to work, pay their taxes and go along to get along. Without betas, society would literally collapse on itself! (Don’t worry, Alphas, society would collapse without you too — lol.)

The first date couple begin to fizzle … she goes to the bathroom & is gone far too long.

He follows her (!!) out of the room/bar & they go their separate ways. They both are in it to win it – they know it's a numbers game & the "One" is or could be right around the corner. Serial daters. Online dating veterans. Time will tell.

It’s fascinating to me that some men are perfectly ok with rating women on a 1 – 10 scale (as am I) but still get triggered by a woman who is aware that she has been rated & knows her tier & wants to find a man on the same level! I mean, REALLY!?!

So of course I pointed this out to my more triggered members of my Twitter family…

I am always fascinated by a man who is okay with POTUS rating women on a 1 – 10 scale (I am!) but who gets triggered by a woman who is aware that she has been rated & knows her tier & wants to find a man on the same level! L O fucking L!

Some women who are intuitive "just know" on the 1st date: they are doing men a *kindness* by not going on a second date & wasting time & money and giving any false impression that there is potential for a future relationship.

In truth, I have no idea *what* it was! They had equal levels of fertility/virility indicators (beauty/handsomeness & youth). But the "leaugue" we're in is also determined by money (or creativity which is the potential for future money) & finally, confidence.

And confidence is the most important determining factor of our "league" or tier or rating. Bravery LITERALLY determines whether empires will fall. Brave people take more risks. If they're also smart, eventually, one of those risks will pay off.

Confidence is THEE most heavily weighted factor in the Rank Algorithm. Most people simply aren’t confident. It’s fine — in fact, too much confidence can lead to overwhelming losses that reduce the quality of life for an entire tribe (October of 2008 ring a bell? Thanks, Banksters, for that years long recession). Should highly confident people mate with other highly confident people? It depends. Unhealthy confident people will feel threatened and thus competitive with other confident people and not want to date or court them. Happy healthy confident people usually feel attracted to other confident people and are triggered into a protective mode by those who lack confidence.

So, did she run to bathroom,call her friend & say, "he's nice, I just don't feel attracted to him"? Probably. And she might not be able to articulate what it was about him. But her survival instinct knows: an issue w/money (which ensures food&shelter), confidence or intelligence.

But even more than being pro-marriage, I'm pro-LOVE. I've *seen* 50 year marriages between soulmates. It's real but RARE. The internet allows us to *reduce* the rarity by using Compatibility Matching. Imagine an improved algorithm that matches you with only others in your "tier"!

For those who are interested, our “league” or rank in our tribe is determined by confidence, intelligence, and beauty/handsomeness. Then for women it is sub-determined by youth (because a woman is fertile for only a finite period of her life) and for men it is sub-determined by money/income (because money is how a man would pay for food and shelter for the offspring he has co-created, and especially because he remains fertile for an indefinite period of his life).

Ideally, we would delineate, even within each of the matching/dating sites, those users who are interested in dating and those who want to pursue a courtship path leading ultimately to marriage.

Ladies, if he isn’t willing to literally gamble half of everything he has or ever will have, on a marriage to you, he DOESN’T love you. Marriage was designed to protect a woman from the poverty of her own fertility, set forth in a legally binding contract guaranteeing that if she gave up her ability to trade her time for money by forgoing freedom for motherhood, she would still be able to ensure food and shelter for herself and her offspring. A contract that also guaranteed that if the father chose to stopproviding those things as a part of their sex for socioeconomic security trade (marriage), the government could force him to start up again. Remember, marriage is the LEGAL, PUBLIC DECLARATION of loyalty, commitment and responsibility.