Tuesday, December 23, 2008

There's something about the motto "Don't be Evil" which really appeals to me. So, I downloaded Google Chrome and started using it as my default browser.

It has some features that I love. A lot. Love A Lot. I love that the address field functions as a search engine. The tabbing is AWESOME. You can drag a tab out of the window to create a new window. You don't have a home page. Instead when you launch the browser it takes you to a window with thumbnails of your most recently visited sites. I LOVE these things.

But it's SO buggy. Loading video often requires a restart of the shockwave process, which was a pain, but worth it.

Now, though, I have a real problem with Yahoo mail. It just will NOT load a message. I have to go to Firefox to check mail. Which means I have Firefox running at the same time as Chrome. Which defeats the purpose of the miraculous tabbing.

I got into this browser in an early stage and now regret it. I'm hooked on the features and irritated by the bugs. I don't want to give up the features in order to not live with the bugs. On the plus side, it's giving me a really good insight into what it's like to be one of our customers.

Monday, December 22, 2008

I think I've mentioned this before, Snow White, like all the princess stories, is a feminist nightmare. In the original, Snow White is pretty. Which pisses off her stepmother. So she runs away, cooks and cleans for a while. Gets duped in a moment of spectacular gullibility. Dies. Is brought back to life by a kiss. Yay, feminism!

Laney, of course, loves it and demands repeated retellings. So over the past few years I've honed the story from something that began as just a less offensive version into something that is, even for a tree-hugging, lefty-liberal, vegetarian, atheist peacenik like myself, hilariously liberal. I mean, my Snow White is as Marxist as Rush Limbaugh pretends Obama is. It is, in short, a veritable parody of itself and amuses me to no end. I love it. I figured I'd better record it, since in a few years, Laney will stop wanting me to tell it. So, here goes:

Part the First: in which Snow White Gains Awareness of her World.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful baby girl born who had hair as black as ebony, lips as red as blood and skin as white as snow [that surprised you, didn't it? I stuck with the original script for the beginning]. But, oh wasn't it sad? Her Mommy died when she was born. Snow White's Daddy was the king of the land, but he wasn't a really good king. The only thing he loved to do was hunt. So, he spent all his time hunting, and all the kingdom's money on hunting equipment and left poor Snow White to raise herself.

So, Snow White took to wandering about the castle. On some days she'd hang out with the maids and they taught her to clean. For instance, you have to pick the picture frames up to dust and can't just dust around them. And as she helped the cleaning crew, they told her about their lives. They talked about their families and how they celebrated Christmas and how they were worried since there wasn't enough food in the land. The king forbade the commoners from hunting on his land. This made things difficult for the commoners.

And some days she hung out in the kitchen and the cooks taught her to cook. She learned how to make soup out of just vegetables since that's what the cooks used when they made soup at home. There was no meat for the commoners to eat. They told her more about their lives and how worried they were.

But her favorite person to hang out with was the Master of the Hunt, who was named Freddie and who was kind of dreamy. Freddie taught her to ride and how to love the animals on the earth.

One day the king noticed that Snow White was walking around, as neglected teenage girls often are, in a dress that was both too short and too tight. No one had taught Snow White that she needed to replace her dresses when they got too small. The king decided he'd better marry.

Coming tomorrow, Part the Second: In Which Snow White Meets Socialist Dwarves

When I was a young lass, I thought scifi was really stupid. I was supposed to think scifi was stupid because I was cute and southern and dated boys who wore starched white shirts with khaki shorts. I probably would have been a cheerleader save for my fundamental clutziness (which is not NEARLY as adorable as Hollywood thinks it is). In short, in my youth, I tamped down my inner nerd.

And then I met my friend Maura who introduced me to the wonderful world of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Which I loved. By this point, I had tamped down my prediliction for boys in starched white shirts and had embraced my outer nerd to the point that I wanted a Star Fleet Academy bumper sticker for my car (Alas, I never got one... those dark days before the Internet. Also I didn't have a car).

Next month we'll finally come to the end of BSG, which is, in my limited experience, the best scifi I've yet encountered. Soon we'll all know that Helo is the 12th cylon (someone will have to buy me a coke if I'm right about that).

And then what will I do? I just finished Old Man's War and LOVED it. But I think I need a literary scifi mentor. Where do I go now? What will fill the gaping hole left behind by BSG? Whither the next intelligent, thought-provoking scifi for Megbon?

Really good scifi takes all your assumptions about the world you live in, turns them on their side and then makes you question all those assumptions. Which we should all do all the time anyway. What's out there that does all that AND spins a great yarn at the same time?

Is it Dune? Is it really? I went to that movie because Sting was in it. Are there better reasons?

I tell the story all the time about how my Dad taught me to read. It's not a warm, fuzzy story. He used Clifford the Big Red Dog books. He determined how much I should read and then if I didn't get there, he wouldn't kiss me good night. Isn't that awful?

It's probably not true. I realized recently, that he probably did that once. One time. I was probably telling him I didn't want to read and being whiney about it. And he was probably tired and irritated and made a poor parenting choice. Or, shoot, maybe he was just kidding.

But, I'm willing to bet this wasn't something that happened repeatedly. I bet I've been hating poor Clifford for years no for no good reason.

Which, of course, makes me think of all the times I've gotten tired and lost my temper and made poor parenting choices. And it would just serve me right if Laney is well into the 30s before she realizes I wasn't always saying "Goddammit, Laney, we're LATE!" That only happened once.

Sigh. With that, I leave you with a little Philip Larkin. Ignore the third stanza. I think he exaggerates. Still, it's a good poem:

This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do.They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats,Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf.Get out as early as you can, And don't have any kids yourself.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I blame California. They treated their recall of Gray Davis like it was some grand justice achieved by the people when it was really just political machinations aimed solely at putting the other party in charge.

Impeachment, as my girl Rachel said a few nights ago, can be cleansing. The legislature holds a trial, the evidence is presented and a decision is reached. They should be like any criminal case: deliberate, fair, and as dispassionate as possible.

In the interest of full disclosure: I voted for Blagojevich in the last election. And I voted for him because if I had to pick between two inherently corrupt parties in Illinois, I'm picking the democrat. I picked wrong. Although, it's fair to say, had the Republican won, she'd be replacing Barack Obama and she'd probably be picking some bullshit Illinois Republican. Illinos Republicans seem remarkably fuckwitted: when they couldn't get Ditka (DITKA!) to run against Obama, they picked Alan "gay marriage leads to incest" Keyes. Fuckwits.

We elected Rod Blagojevich. And the best way to get rid of him, if he won't resign, is impeachment: legal, deliberate and constitutional. By proceeding so, we'll end up with better democrats.

Our elected officials need to stop looking at office in Illinois like hors d'oevres. Impeaching one of them seems like a good way to get this done. It's not like we'll fall off the map if we have to live with one senator for a few months. He's a really good senator!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

They say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results.

This morning The Chicago Tribune was wall-to-wall Blagojevich coverage. My personal favorite was an OpEd column titled "Obama's My Pet Goat Moment", which makes the perfectly reasonable comparison that not commenting immediately on a state-level scandal IS just the same as reading a book to preschoolers while the country is attacked and 3000 Americans are killed.

I appreciate that the Trib is the paper of record on the scandal and, as such, has a responsibility to cover the shit out of it. But, I read the entire front section (the "news" section) today and there wasn't one story about that damn senate report.

I am not a professional journalist, so maybe I'm making more out of this senate report than I should be (note: I am NOT making more out of this senate report than I should be). The Tribune, like just about every other news organization in America, seems to have decided that their sole responsibility as powerful pillars of the fourth estate is "to give the people what they want."

The definition of insanity. Check it: when folks stop obsessing over Blagojevich, there will be some intrepid blogger talking about what we ought to be doing about the various and damning criminal activities perpetrated during the Bush years by the Bush administration. And the folks who read the newspaper when there isn't a fat, juicy scandal du jour (folks like me) will be reading those blogs instead of the newspaper, and wondering if the comics and crossword are really worth $35 a month. And somewhere a "real" reporter will be complaining about the damn bloggers and their responsibility for the demise of print journalism.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

The abuse of detainees in U.S. custody cannot simply be attributed to the actions of “a few bad apples” acting on their own. The fact is that senior officials in the United States government solicited information on how to use aggressive techniques, redefined the law to create the appearance of their legality, and authorized their use against detainees. Those efforts damaged our ability to collect accurate intelligence that could save lives, strengthened the hand of our enemies, and compromised our moral authority.

Read that again. Read it a few times. Let that really sink in.

There was a lot to be ashamed of during the Bush years, the cynical, political, amoral Bush years. But of all this, the fact that we became a nation that tortures stands in relief as the single most damning, shaming thing that Bush criminals committed in our names. And we've collectively ignored it.

I really believe that if mainstream media (front page, evening news kind of stuff) reported on torture like professional journalists instead of like a bunch of fucking retards then we'd care about this more.

Our national media is so busy obsessing over finding SOME (PLEASE DEAR GOD, THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING) tie from Obama to Blagojevich, that they ignore this, just as they have for the past six years. Forget about making me want to bang my head against the wall. It makes it really hard to keep the contents of my stomach intact.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Today was very very cold. On cold days like this, the lake turns this very particular color. It's so blue. So pretty.

Today, we were driving home from school and the car was warm and it was so pretty outside and Patty Loveless was singing "Joy to the World" and I felt like the song. I felt joyful. And my thoughts turned to my father, who died five years ago.

There's a Mike Doughty lyric that goes "the only way to beat it is to bat it down." That lyric got me through years of thinking of my father. When I got to feeling like it was just so goddamn motherfucking unfair that he wasn't around to play with my daughter or to boozily quote Houseman with me at Christmas parties, I'd just bat it down. That lyric was a mantra. I bat it down and bat it down and batted it down some more.

But it's been five years now and it occurred to me that maybe it's time to stop batting it down. To recognize that every joyful moment in life (and there are so many) is colored by, is weighted down with loss. So, I cried and cried and cried.

But I was glad to cry and cry and cry. It felt really good to not be batting it down.

Back in the day when I followed sports assiduously and tended bar, I heard someone say (and he may have been quoting someone) that people who call into radio sports shows are people you'd change barstools to avoid.

Great metaphor, right? I think of it whenever I watch Keith Olbermann. I love Keith Olbermann. I love his show. I love how he made it OK to march out of lockstep with the Bushies. Despite all that, he strikes me as the kind of guy I'd change bar stools to avoid.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Yesterday, while Laney was at Chinese preparing for her future as fluent in Chinese so she can take care of us when we're old and broke and subject to our economic overlords in China, I went hunting for Christmas decorations. I went to a few stores and then found what I was looking for at Home Depot.

While I was there, I decided to have a key made, since we needed a key. There were two guys at the key kiosk, a middle-aged white dude and a slightly younger Latino dude. The following conversation took place:

Megbon: Can one of you guys make me a key?White dude [smiling and cheery]: I can't, but I bet he can. Can you make us a key?Latino dude [also smiling and cheery, and heavily accented]: I won't do it to you, but I can do it to herWhite dude [laughing]: FOR her. Not TO her. FOR her.

And they cracked up.

Just to be clear, these guys weren't being gross. They were flirting a little, but in a totally non-threatening way. And in the course of their non-threatening, filled with Christmas-cheer kind of flirting, the Latino guy stumbled into a pretty hilarious malapropism.

But, there I stood, in the aisles of the Home Depot and, y'all, I BLUSHED! I stood there with my Christmas ornaments in my almost 40-year-old arms and I BLUSHED!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I think that in the West sometimes blogging is an excuse for sitting back and just commenting on life as it passes by and putting out your opinions on what is happening.

As far as I know about Christiane Amanpour (which is, frankly, mostly gleaned from the Gilmore Girls), she's got some serious journalistic chops. That said, there she is, like so many people in her profession, casting blame for the current state of print media outward instead of taking a good hard look inward. Maybe I can help her out a little...

1n 1998, we were bombing Iraq and India was testing nukes. And what did you read about: Monica Lewinsky and her blue dress. In fucking technicolor.

In 2000, we learned that Al Gore was a smug asshole who claimed he invented the internet. Except, of course, he didn't.

In 2002, a Canadian citizen is shipped off to Syria to be tortured for a year. For no reason. By Americans. Did you guys see that story on the front page of a major American daily? Funny, me neither.

In 2003, George Bush lied and lied and lied some more. And then he told some more lies. And many (if not most) of these lies were easily disprovable. And then we went to war in Iraq and 4000 Americans were killed.

In 2004, John Kerry was an effete asshole who said things like "Who among us does not like Nascar." Except, of course, he didn't.

[An aside: I really believe that if mainstream media (front page, evening news kind of stuff) reported on torture like professional journalists instead of like a bunch of fucking retards then we'd care about this more. I refuse to accept that we as a nation are so morally bankrupt that we condone torture. It's hard enough to accept that we're morally bankrupt enough to pretend it doesn't exist.]

In 2008, John McCain is a mavericky maverick who mavericks. Whatever.

Traditional media capitulated, again and again, their responsibilities as the fourth estate, while citizen journalists picked up the slack. And yet, it's the lazy bloggers who are at fault for the demise of news dailies.

I am exactly as Christiane Amanpour says. I do sit back and comment on life as it passes me by. But I ain't trying to be Glenn Greenwald or Josh Marshall (both of whom do more real reporting than anyone writing for the Wall Street Journal or the New York Times) But, even my lazy, pajama-wearing self knows that if everyone in the room is running away from me, chances are I have something to do with that.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Growing up, it wasn't officially Christmas until my mother warned us: "Look, it's going to have to be a lean Christmas this year." She said it every year from my way early youth well into my 20s.

But our Christmases were never lean. Nor were they particularly excessive. They were pretty good. I remember them as being full of wine and good food and getting dressed up and eagerly waiting for someone to open the present I got them

Nowadays, the annual dire pronouncements about Christmas from my mother have been replaced by the equally dire, equally annual media glut of warnings against the excess of Christmas. In one my parenting magazines, there was actually a suggestion about giving your children "hug coupons" for Christmas. Hug coupons! God.

I love Christmas. I love the lights and the music. Yesterday we hung Christmas bulbs on the leafless trees in front of our house, and I swear it's just the most cheerful thing in the world. Christmas is cheery. I get as giddy as a kid thinking about the present I found for Don. I can't WAIT to see the look on Laney's face when she walks downstairs on Christmas morning. Shoot, y'all, the expression "kid on Christmas" resonates for a reason.

Like a voice in the wilderness, I'm speaking out in favor of a little excess.

We spend the year aiming for abstemiousness. We practice the virtue of self-denial. Why not a few days, once a year, when we enjoy going a little overboard, drinking too much, eating too much, buying presents that people don't need, but will love to have.

I say this without a drop of irony or sarcasm - I would love a Christmas Day like this. I think it looks like fun. I could also go on and on about how irritated I get by faux-redneck-ness that tries to claim that the essence of poor white folks in the south is willful insistence on being the stupidest motherfucker in the room (I'm talking to you Larry the Cable Guy who is FROM NEBRASKA). But instead, I think I'll just watch this video about real southern poor white folks and this Christmas that looks like a lot of fun.

The basement no longer smells like dog pee. The living room is dusted, the rugs are vacuumed. The kitchen is... daunting.

So, a break:

I was thinking as I watched Rachel Maddow and cleaned things up that LaneyBon is sure to rebel in some way as she grows up. I've already narrowed down the three things she could cleave unto that would break my heart. To wit:

- Republican (obviously) - Born again Christian - White Sox fan.

But as I dusted and vacuumed I got to thinking.

- I love a LOT of White Sox fans. I mean, they make me crazy. But it's an affectionate sort of crazy. Besides, Barack Obama is a White Sox fan. So, that's not really so bad (Donbon would probably disagree).

- I also love a lot of Christians. And being a Christian isn't synonymous with being a dogmatic asshole. It's just that a lot of dogmatic assholes have seized the spotlight. So, maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

- Which leaves me with the biggie: Republican. But, think about it: with all due apologies (none are due) to jackholes like Bill Kristol, the 2008 presidential election portended the end of the Republican Party as it exists now. George Bush fucked up the country so badly that along with a good chunk of my 401K, he also killed identity politics. To which I can only say, smell ya later. So, by the time Laney is ready to rebel, who knows what the Republican party will be like? I think that better or worse, there's a good chance that Bill O'Reilly will be off-air and reduced to blogging (poor sap) by then.

Which leaves only one possibility: I have NO idea what form the rebellion (if any) will take.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I spend a lot of time behind the wheel of a car. When I'm on my own, I love to listen to books on tape. Well, a book on tape: Middlemarch. For some strange reason, no one wants to listen to Middlemarch with me in the car! What is UP with that?

So for our recent trip to the O.B., I bought The Wordy Shipmates from iTunes (even though I'm becoming more and more certain that Apple is eeeeevvvviiilllll). This, I thought, would appeal equally to me and my history-loving hubby.

I loved it more. But I love Sarah Vowell. I love how meticulously researched and organized her books are at the same she maintains this off-the-cuff, breezy narrative (which is SO hard to do). I love the way she really gets to know the people she writes about, and forms thoughtful opinions about them. For example, I know she doesn't much like Roger Williams - but she loves him. I love the way she uses Happy Days to illuminate how our preconceptions about history reflect our own present. Seriously. I LOVE that.

Can you imagine what history lessons would have been like in high school if you'd learned about the Puritans from Sarah Vowell instead of some text book?

Quick anecdote:

I'm a senior in high school. I'm in IB (advanced) history. Our teacher decides to show off a little by reciting the preamble to the Constitution. She ends with "... and for our prosperity." A girl says, "Um, it says 'posterity' here." The teacher says "Oh. They must have changed it." Seriously.

And even had my history teacher been competent, I bet she wouldn't have used Sarah Vowell in 1987 (mostly because Sarah Vowell was in her own senior history class in 1987).

Did you watch? What a sad, sad sexist idea in that super catchy song. It sounds like marriage is something men give women so that women will give them exclusive control over their bodies. And it's sad because in that equation he's begrudging about being married and she's begrudging about doin' it. And doin' it is fun! And being married can be a drag for her as well as him (I speak as a big fan of marriage, enjoying a happy one even as I write, but there are days... I mean, WHY can't he ever pick up his damn shoes at the end of the day? WHY?!?!)

On second thought, perhaps I've misinterpreted the whole song. When she says "If you liked it you should have put a ring on it" perhaps she's talking about her ass. Shoot, maybe she's talking about some other private ladybits. Is it possible that Beyonce is just heavily into obscured piercings and the fella of whom she speaks has a prudish aversion to them?

Regardless, now I have LL Cool J on the mind (as so often I do... I've had a crush on LL for almost as long as I've had a crush on Sting). Fortunately, LL doesn't have the same aversion to embedding that Beyonce does:

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

If you're a Christian who's been offended by some lack of respect aimed at your faith, I have one thing to say: grow up and get over it. We just came through a two year election in which the word Muslim was used as politically correct code for "terrorist" and where the word "atheist" was hurled around with a level of invective normally reserved for "pedophile."

If you're a Christian in America, you're a member of the least discriminated-against group in America.

Honestly, you come off like spoiled two year olds, red-faced and crying because you can't have ALL the toys in the playroom.

... as I was eating my lunch I just saw this trailer for the new Star Trek movie and, I shit you not, a little thrill went up my spine and I said "oh yeah" out loud. I'm a Star Trek Nerd.

To wit: I prefer Picard to Kirk, but recognize this as a matter of opinion rather than fact. The best three Star Trek movies are (in order) VI, II, IV; this is a matter of empirical fact and NOT opinion. Picard is the captain of NCC1701-D (I used to be able to tell you what happened to A-C, but I don't think I could do that without googling). The Enterprise is powered by Dilithium Crystals. I once broke up with a guy because he called me during the series finale of TNG. And he called JUST TO CHAT. I mean, priorities? God.

I wish I could embed this video, but Apple (who are waaaaaay eviller than Google) want me to buy something quicktimey before I can embed. So you'll just have to suffer click here to watch it. Do. It's AWESOME!

Look, I am a remarkably skeptical woman. If you start telling me the story of that time you saw a ghost, I will roll my eyeballs so hard they'll pop out of my head and STILL look scornfully at your from the floor. I will remind you repeatedly and with great fervor that NOTHING you do will affect the outcome of the game you are watching on television. I may not say this out loud, but if you present me with any Catholic paraphernalia, I'll obviously be thinking that Mary was (a)not a virgin and (b)not a blonde.

For a woman dripping in scornful skepticism like myself, though, I am remarkably susceptible to feeling a failure because things in my own life are not working out like they do on sitcoms. For example, I am surprised that I don't see my friends as much post-Laney as I did pre-Laney. Rachel, after all, could be found at Central Perk as often post-Emma as she could pre-Emma! And, why don't I have more money? I mean, folks on TV are all the time complaining about how little money they have, but they wear such nice clothes!

The worst, though, are the eating habits of the Modern TV Comedienne. This is especially evidenced in my two favorite Modern TV Comic Female Characters: Lorelei Gilmore and Liz Lemon. I actually believe that it is some kind of moral failing on my part that I can't eat pizza for dinner every night and have an ass like Lorelei. Liz Lemon evidently eats nothing but sandwiches and still rocks a size 2. Obviously, if I were funnier, I could eat like them and be that thin. Right? That's got to be it.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I really enjoyed the whole show last night. Even Anne Hathaway charmed me, despite my lingering resentment at her appearance in that egregious bitches-be-crazy-about-their-wedding movie. At first I was a little peeved off with the MSNBC is the new Fox bit (I thought the part with Chris Matthews was especially unfair... below I'll post the whole interview that they borrowed from and he is AWESOME in it). But, while it pains me to say it, Keith Olbermann does have him a mammoth ego. And, as I've said to DonBon many a time as we watched Countdown, I bet I'd really dislike Keith Olbermann if I were sitting across from him at a bar. So, maybe a goof or two on him is good.

Rachel Maddow is a goddess.

Here's Chris Matthews being awesome:

All that being said, John Oliver blew me away last night. I thought this was really amazing:

Monday, December 1, 2008

... I was just watching Countdown as I cleaned the kitchen. I was watching President-Elect Obama rolling out his new cabinet and was struck: it's been eight years since we had a leader who privileged competence over cronyism. Won't that be a kick?

I just did a google image search for to post a picture of the new cabinet. You guys should try it... there are some racist and paranoid motherfuckers out there!

Who'd have thunk it? Evidently, I am an important member of the conservative blogosphere! The following popped up in my inbox today. The rightroots are kickin' ASS with their new internet initiative:

Dear Fellow Blogger,

It is my distinct pleasure, as the president of Americans for Limited Government, to invite you today to become a key member of the exciting new conservative “bloggers central,” NetRightNation.com.

At ALG, we recognize the critical role you as a blogger play in gathering, assimilating, and disseminating news and commentary. And I, personally, am deeply grateful to you for taking the lead in fighting some of the most important battles our country has faced over the past decade, and more.

That's why I am so pleased to announce that NetRightNation.com is providing bloggers like you, the mainstream media, politicians, and other opinion leaders free, instant access to nearly 60,000 conservative blogs nationwide. And counting.

As a complete service bureau, NRN provides you a wide new array of blogger opportunities. As a featured blogger on NRN, you will be able to post your own blogs and interface with other like-minded bloggers nationwide. You will soon be able to “claim” your blog and customize your blog profile.

Information on NRN – blogs, as well as Twitter feeds -- will be divided by state, as well as by issue, to make it easy for you and others to access. NRN will also include a sophisticated search engine function and will soon have the capability for you to subscribe to customized email blog feeds on your topics of choice. Stay tuned, for these features will soon be online!

And all of that is just the beginning. In fact, I have asked ALG's Director of New Media, Adam Bitely, to follow up on this note with a letter of his own providing you the exciting details on how NRN can help you grow your own blog.

Above all, we want to make sure NRN is all that you, an important member of the conservative blogosphere, want it to be. So, as you visit NetRightNation.com, I urge you to please give us your input on how to make it the valuable asset we are committed to providing, at absolutely no charge.

Thank you for all that you are doing. I look forward to hearing from you.

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About Me

I'm a Chicagoan by way of Memphis, wife to Donbon and mother to Laneybon, my heart, my soul, the source of most of my heartburn. I work for a small software company. I prefer brown alcohol to clear and have grown adjusted to the fact that no matter how old I get, I'll never learn to apply eye shadow properly and my hair will never look right.