Bradley Cooper Somehow Starring In The Elephant Man

Looks like Bradley Cooper can add a new category to the list of babes, hunks and good-looking bad boys he normally plays: hideously disfigured historical figures! The Limitless actor will reportedly star as John Merrick in the Williamstown Theate Festival production of the play The Elephant Man in Massachusetts this summer. Playwright Bernard Pomerace‘s 1977 play tells the story of the profoundly deformed real-life titular character as he deals with persecution in 19th London society. Ah, but does anyone know how ripped The Elephant Man was? He could potentially have had a burlap sack over his head and six-pack abs below, right? We just wanted to make sure.

Defying all logic, Cooper has already performed the play as part of his senior thesis at the Actors Studio Drama School, despite the fact that he clearly had to grow that mustache so people’s eyeballs didn’t melt out of their heads just looking at his beauty. Featuring Patricia Clarkson as Bradley’s costar, The Hollywood Reporter explains that “Pomerance’s play weaves Merrick’s inner humanity into a parable on beauty, innocence and dignity that shatters our illusions of normalcy.” It’s also going to shatter our notion of how good an actor Bradley Cooper is. Of course we like him, but to win us over without that gorgeous mug? That is some Tony Award-winning steez right there.