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Thursday, May 31, 2012

Decoding Rex Ryan's Hockey Loyalties

If you watched Game One of the Stanley Cup Finals last night between the Kings and the Devils, well, then, you better clean yourself up because you saw one nasty deke put on by Anze Kopitar of the Kings to win the game in overtime. Of course, you also saw the always more important head coach of the New York Jets and foot quality control inspector Rex Ryan supporting his New Jersey Devils....err...not his, but....basically he was wearing a Devils sweater.

Yes, indeed, oddly enough, Rex wore a Flyers jersey two years ago at a Hurricanes-Panthers game in Raleigh of all places. WHAT IS THIS MAN THINKING YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!!

Oh, but even at that particular game Rex's loyalties were tested. As the video below shows, the 'Canes cheerleaders (or whatever) surprise Rex with a Carolina sweater to wear (NSFW Rex Ryan flab. You've been warned).

So, now we have this wonderful picture of Rex in a 'Canes sweater, and his new favorite southernmost team. Who says hockey can't work in the South? But, what is his angle? He is trolling hockey fan bases? Does he have a favorite team? DOES HE EVEN LIKE HOCKEY?!?!?!

He just looks so damn happy, it's incredible. So smug, doesn't he know he can't do this to hockey fans. We must know who he supports, if anyone. If you will take notice, not only does Rex purchase a jersey for the game he attends, but he goes all out and gets a hat if the situation calls for it. That's some pretty hardcore casual fandom. But, wait, did I say Blues? I sure did.

Here is Rex supporting the St. Louis Blues this season during their magical(ish) run this season under Ken Hitchcock (a Rex Ryan type of coach). Unfortunately, a logical explanation stands in the way of wild accusation and rumor-mongering.

Ryan, whose Jets advanced to the AFC East Championship game in 2009 and '10, was in St. Louis visiting his brother Jim Ryan and his family.

Jim, who has lived here for 19 years, is a Blues' season-ticket holder and has been a part-time radio talk-show host on KFNS (590 AM). Though the Ryans are part of a famous football family – Buddy Ryan is their dad – they were goaltenderse growing up.

That's too bad. It's much more fun to call out his lack of decisiveness and all of that other bull crap. He can't just be a hockey fan DAMMIT.

So, in the spirit of calling him a sell out, here he is wearing an Islanders jersey while dropping a ceremonial first puck in late 2010.

Ooo-la-la Show those hips for me, baby. You model that sweater like a champ.

What a vile human being with no direction in life. Why can't he just support ONE TEAM?!?! We ALL are better than him, that's for sure....

Ah, but, let's go back to the other night. Here, in an interview he did with CBC while at the game, he admits to his love for the Maple Leafs:

His reason for rooting on the Devils: "Living here in Jersey, you know, support the Devils, they're right down the road. They're a good team and things." They certainly are, and junk. So, that explains the Jersey-love.

In that video he also admits that his "team," if you will, is the Toronto Maple Leafs, and states his disappointment with their inability to make the playoffs this season. You will also find him stating his love for the Leafs here too, as well as his fondness for Dave "The Hammer" Schultz, which may explain his Flyers jersey.

Rex and his brother Wolfman Rob were born in Oklahoma, but lived with their mother in Toronto for a time after their parents' divorce. This does wonders to explain the Toronto loyalties, and it's too bad for the hockey world Rex never went on to hockey stardom. Just for the record, I cannot find any photographic proof of his love of the Leafs. One theory states that he does not buy jerseys of teams he supports because of some voodoo curse, but that's not likely (combined Stanley Cup wins of the teams he has been photographed wearing jerseys since the date he wore them: zero. Think about that...).

In all, it's safe to say Rex is a fan of the NHL, and hockey in general. It's just too bad he will probably get fired after failing to meet impossible expectations and have to coach the Bengals or some crappy team next year. I still have hope we will see him wearing an early 2000s Buffalo Sabres get-up before too long, though.