Open Letter: Dear Tiwa, Salvage Your ‘Savage’

Dear Tiwa: Show me a marriage without challenges and I will show you a virgin in a maternity ward (birthing center).

Most marital crises happen prime of the bliss. This is no different from what our parents went through and what we, the people that ventured into marriage would go through or are experiencing, these times of our lives.

These wahalas come with ‘the territory’. But what makes your palava unique is the arena chosen to out this perhaps usual roforofo fights: the social media. Your celebrity status accelerated the speed of the spread.

Everyone on social media has an opinion, even those that don’t know what and how you feel. Don’t blame us, Tunji invited us. And you privileged us gate pass to your faltered family.

Tiwa, after watching your Pulse television interview, I felt your pulse and Teebillz heartbeat from a distance. You both cried out for help. You are hurting. Teebillz is also hurting. He is a coke head. He is human. The environment and nature of your business influences entices and encourages such social behaviors.

He stole your money: greed… so what? Sometimes, you take from the one you love. He must have spent it on you and or the family… I’m not giving excuses, but Nne, words are like weapons, they wound you sometimes.

You publicly stated, while avoiding eye contact with the television camera that the marriage was over. Tiwa, your pronouncement did not match your body language. You are angry. You still love him.

What is missing? You and Tee are too busy engaged in the limelight, washing your designers’ linens in public. The cracks were getting deeper, but you both did not communicate to address your problems. Teebillz loves you. You love him. Life can be short or long. Love can be right or wrong.

Mama T, go after what you love. You are stronger than pride. Go get your man and seek help. Take a trip to a marriage counsellor and offer him drug rehab. You too need to go into rehab. Forget everything. You both love each other; hence, you reached out to us. Tiwa, Teebillz is human. You are also human and woman.

Those encouraging you to drop him or let him go are not your friends. They do not care about you and your child. Go and get your family back together. You both made mistakes. It is time to seek help as a couple and a young family. There is nothing out here but home wreckers services at work. Talk! Talk!! Talk to your husband. I felt your pains: you are still trapped in love. I believe he feels the same ways too.

You stated your mother always urged you to work things out: I think you should listen to your mother. Forget about the whispers, the comments, and the silly Facebook babbles and vitriolic nonsense from mostly losers, on social media and Nkwobi joints.

Teebillz’ outbursts were an attempt to open up a dialogue with you: although he chose the wrong platform. He misdirected his plea to you to see his pains and love for the family. Your heart is young. Your love, still fresh, Tiwa, do not be deceived by several advisers and negative vibes to support you. These are from hangers-on that want to be there for you. The truth is, they will never be here.

You do not need anyone’s advice to mend your broken hearts and rescue your young marriage from collapse. You need two hurting hearts to meet, sit down as adults still in love, communicate and resolve your differences. Let your feelings show and go.

Those advising both of you now, don’t feel the loneliness and lonely nights under the bedsheets, or mornings alone on the couch remembering how love came by and swept you off your beautiful skinny feet, the memories of gracious and seductive moments, the temptations to text him, or checking the cell phone every ring or minute, wishing secretly that he called or text.

Or sleeping alone at nights in the bed you both shared some silly real and genuine moments of love, unlimited: holding his favourite cloth or T-shirt just to smell his body scents; the little things both of you did in the beginnings that made each fond of the other, the crazy memories when you both thanked God for making each the other’s selection, when you gave affection to get each’s attention. You, my dear, can work things out.
Don’t say it’s over. It’s not over. You still love him. He still loves you. To hell with what people will say. They have already stated their worst.

They will continue to say more as long as you’re alive and successful.

Don’t let that stop you from your love. Mama Tee. Waka after your man. Save your marriage and seek help collectively so that you will amaze the world with a second chance at love. I wish you best as you listen to your heart. Regards to your lovely son. Be strong.