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Yes Hillary, We’re Oppressed. BY YOU.

Remember Dexter’s Laboratory? The child prodigy with a secret laboratory that his bumbling family knew nothing about? In one episode, Dexter was annoyed by the fact that he had to study for his French test instead of playing around in his laboratory. To fix that problem, he came up with a machine that would play the lessons in his ears all night, with the idea that upon waking in the morning his subconscious would have absorbed the lessons and he’d fly through the test.

Except, the tape got stuck on one phrase: omelette du fromage (“cheese omelet,” and yes, I know the translation’s not quite correct.). That one phrase played all night long, and upon waking, that’s literally all Dexter could say … in EITHER language. English had been erased from his brain, and the only words he could utter were, in fact, cheese omelet.

I thought about Dexter and his brain’s obsession with that phrase as I heard Hillary Clinton—once again—blaming gender for her loss.

Hang with me, I’ve got a point.

It’s like it’s all she knows how to say. In her mind—and the minds of millions of her supporters—, she lost the election both BECAUSE she’s a woman (because, sexism) and BECAUSE of women (because, duh, sexism).

Gender. Gender. Gender. Gender. Gender. Gender. Gender.

See where I’m going with this? It’s the only thing to think; it’s the only thing to say. It is the reason for all things. Didn’t get the job you wanted? Gender. Aren’t enough women in XYZ industry? Gender. Not paid enough? Gender. Lost an election? Duh … gender.

Hillary Clinton and her ilk believe women should think for themselves. But apparently women are only capable of thinking for themselves so long as what they think happens to align with the American left. Otherwise there is NO possible way they’re (especially if they’re WHITE women) are thinking for themselves. If you, the average white female, didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton, you are clearly being dragged by the hair through life by your misogynistic macho cavemen husbands, boyfriends, brothers, fathers—and lest I forget, the sexist bosses who pay you less because you’ve got girl parts.

It couldn’t possibly be because Hillary Clinton was wildly corrupt and a terrible candidate who couldn’t be bothered to appear in flyover country, now could it?

Nah. Better blame it on gender. That’s easier—and makes for a way better headline.

I’m writing this not only because I’m sick and tired of being told how utterly oppressed and devoid of individual thought I am—but because I want my daughter to grow up and think for herself, too. Because ironically enough, it’s not the men in our lives telling us how to vote; it’s Mrs. Clinton and the American left. After all, isn’t that what she’s saying? That it’s not right that ALL women didn’t vote for her? That you ought to vote for someone not on the basis of principle, but on the basis of GENDER?

Look, I just got back from maternity leave. It’s my first week back on the job while someone else watches my precious children precisely becausepeople like her have spent decades enacting big-government policies that have made it virtually impossible to own a home, raise a family and provide for your children on a single income. And this woman (who, ironically enough, is where she is today because of her HUSBAND’S presidency) has the unmitigated nerve to tell me that I’m too stupid, too oppressed, or both, to vote with my own mind.

Give me a break. (And while you’re at it, a piece of that Kit-Kat bar. No seriously—I haven’t had lunch.)

Women have it better here than virtually anywhere else in the world—and yet somehow this narrative of oppression and sexism still finds a home in mainstream politics and entertainment.

And here’s the BEST part: unlike vast swathes of the Islamic world (which the American Left, funny enough, refuses to call out), we’re not subject to our father or husband’s whims, we’re not restricted in what we can do or say, or how we can dress or who we associate with. We’re not beaten for speaking our mind; we’re not stoned for adultery.

It’s an interesting little paradigm we all live in, according to the Hillary Clintons of the world. We’re supposedly oppressed by our misogynistic society, and yet our society LOVES to tout (assuming they’re left-wing) strong women. (Just watch a rerun of this year’s Oscars, but you’ve been warned: have an airsickness bag ready.)

You wanna talk about oppression? Let’s go. Yup, conservative women ARE oppressed. We just happen to be oppressed by YOU, the American Left. We’re supposed to love abortion, hate guns, love free birth control and hate immigration laws– and vote for candidates that’ll bring that agenda home. We’re told to sit down and shut up on a daily basis unless we kiss the ring.

The very thing you on the American Left routinely accuse conservative men of doing, you do EVERY DAY. You tell us how to think, act, and react. And if we don’t tow the line … well, just ask Dana Loesch.

Hillary, take responsibility for your awful campaign—or at least find a new go-to excuse. Race, maybe? I hear Elizabeth Warren can help a sister out with that one.

See? I just wrote a whole article all by myself and my husband isn’t even home to tell me what to say.

Mary Ramirez is a full-time writer, creator of www.afuturefree.com (a political commentary blog), and contributor to The Chris Salcedo Show. She can be reached at: afuturefree@aol.com; or on Twitter: @AFutureFree