Thursday, 29 January 2015

There have recently been calls for a legal ban on the slaughter of baby girls for the table. The anti-progressive forces behind this campaign have sought to represent it as a feminist one. It is important that these misleading voices are challenged. We believe a ban would be wrong for several reasons:

1. A ban would imply that butchers have been doing wrong by slaughtering baby girls. This is an unfair slur on a respectable profession, many members of which we number among our friends.

2. A ban would also imply that parents have been doing wrong by selling their daughters for slaughter. Furthermore, it would encourage racial profiling of the ethnic group to which the majority of these parents belong. This is wholly unacceptable.

3. A ban would legitimise the notion that baby girls have human rights, and this would inevitably lead to calls for the same rights to be extended to boys. Such so-called 'rights' cannot be allowed to trump the right of respectable citizens to gain their livelihood from a legitimate trade.

4. That's enough reasons. Anyone not convinced by now is a medieval fascist.

Yours faithfully.

Gourmetta Lovechild
Professor of Meat Science, University of Melton Mowbray

Wanda Cooke-Baybie
Professor of Political Logic, Clackmannanshire Kim Jong-Un University

and 57 others, all considerably cleverer than you.

(If mystified and outraged, go here. If you get the allusion, go here.)