Sacramento News Station Shows Cop Removing Dildo From Bag Found At Scene Of Crash

Some people can't go anywhere without their toys.

Photo: Christopher Furlong/Getty Images

Most people make sure they have their keys, phone and whatever they keep their money in on them before they get behind the wheel of a car. Hell, you could probably add either a bottle of water or delicious Coke Zero Sugar depending on how far they plan on driving.

Well, in California, some people can’t go anywhere without their massive dildo, and we know that to be a fact because a KCRA “Breaking News” report over the weekend let the cat out of the bag. Or I guess in this case, they let the big fake dick out of the bag.

All right. Now I’m not a lip-reading expert or anything like that, but if I had to guess, I’d say the conversation between the cop and camera operator went something like this:

Cop: Dude, there’s a fucking dildo in this bag. Let me know when you go live.

Cameraman: Hahaha. That’ll be perfect for sweeps.

Cop: All right, are you rolling?

Cameraman: We’re live.

Plop.

In a related story, forget about the massive rubber cock. I mean, I for one would be more worried about that “giant invasive rodent with the ability to destroy roads, levees and wetlands” if I’m living in Stanislaus County. In fact, after reading that as it came across the ticker at the bottom of the screen, a driver crashing through my garage and leaving his or her dildo behind doesn’t seem that bad.