Bike Shop Vignettes

Full Suspension

“My son is looking for a full suspension bike. I don’t want to pay anymore than $500.”

With that kind of bread you can purchase a rear shock. If you want something for it to go on, that’ll be another 2 grand. I like it more when people do a little research before coming in the shop. I hate busting kids bubbles, but I get over it quickly as I have kids and am fully competent at killing children’s dreams.

Love Channel

Guy needs a new seat. Shows me his old one. I wanted to ask him how his sex life was with riding on a steel plate for all these years. I dissuaded him from going for the seat with the cutout love channel. I always thought that design was bullshit.

Whatever Dude

A woman comes in for a minor fix on her child’s bike. No problem. I do the work and don’t charge. You don’t charge for simple shit.

If a shop charges you for simple shit, make that time the last time you associate with their store. Nickel and diming people doesn’t promote cycling, it just promotes greedy owners more concerned with making money than promoting riding. If you want to strictly make money, open up a laundromat. As far as I know, the passion in keeping ones whites, white is miniscule.

The “customer” asks to try out a bike. No problem. She asks me the difference between the bikes we carry and a bike from another store. Honestly, I read up on other shit but only commit the higher end bikes to knowledge. I’m not committing info on a hybrid to memory. Fuck that! Nose raised. She tests out our bike and comes back to the shop to tell me there was really no difference between our bike, and the other bike she had tested from the other shop, that was $100 cheaper. Whatever dude. A bike worth $10,000 and a bike worth $10, work the same way. Push the pedals and the shit moves forward. It’s been that way for over a hundred years. The proof is in the craftsmanship. The proof is in pushing a tank vs enjoying the experience of propelling almost effortlessly forward. Whatever dude.