Ten Things That Happen When You Have An Unusual First Name

My life would have been far simpler had I been called Nicole, which was the plan throughout my mother's pregnancy.

But when my mum had to have an emergency C-section because I was breach (translation: my big bum was coming out first) my dad had better ideas.

He'd been watching television waiting for my mum to come out of the operating theatre (what a gent) and suddenly a new woman walked into his life - Dudley Moore's then-wife was on the box and her name was Brogan Lane.

When my mum eventually came round there was a a lovely little bundle of joy in the cot next to her (me), and the midwives couldn't stop coo-ing over my "unusual" name.

First of all she thought that these women must have lived very sheltered lives having never met a Nicole before, but she soon grew suspicious and looked at the name tag on my wrist.

And the rest is history. (For them, at least.)

As anyone with an unusual first name knows (shout out to Blue Ivy, North and Apple) there are many things that happen when you're called something other than Claire, Sarah or Louise.

Here are just a few...

1) You get asked to repeat yourself A LOT

"Hi, my name's Brogan."

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"Brogan."

"Brodie?"

"No, Bro-Gan."

"Ooh, Brogan, that's unusual."

"Yes, yes it is."

2) You end up explaining how to pronounce it in a ridiculous way

It's like 'Rogan Josh' but with a 'B' and without the 'Josh'.

3) And spend your life spelling it out over the phone

Remember, the phonetic alphabet is your friend.

4) People think your first name is your last name

*face palm*

5) ...And often get your gender wrong

You can shove your "Dear sir" up your ass.

5) You get given stupid nicknames, usually anything that sounds remotely similar

Such as "Bogan" or "Bogey" or "Bog"

6) People always remember your name. Often when you can't remember theirs

Sorry if I can't remember you, it's not my fault your name is forgettable.

7) Almost everyone asks you what your name means

It's... um... something to do with leather shoes.

8) ...Or why your parents decided to call you what they did

If I had a pound for every time I had to explain this story I'd be a millionaire. Unfortunately, I don't so just see above.

9) People expect your siblings to be called something adventurous

You're only going to be disappointed: he is called George and he is always in my shadow