Make sure my expectations concerning behavior, attitude, and ability are appropriate and then share them.

Share examples of how improving and succeeding involve effort. Introduce them to others who have accomplished or gained through time and trials. Admit when I make mistakes and ask for help when I need it.

Define success. Emphasize that having potential isn’t anything to feel good about unless it’s reached.

Discuss the future. Help my kids cast a vision for who and where they want to be. Help them choose specific goals for getting there based on their interests and abilities. Create a step-by-step action plan.

Help my children “own” their individual goals and progress, and help them see how they’ve improved. Hold them accountable by reminding them of their stated goals when their priorities aren’t reflecting them.

Provide healthy motivation to practice and work toward goals. Determine when rewards help and when loss of privileges or consequences may be needed.