[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to
London and Monica comes running in.]

Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to
get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London,
there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)

Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.

[Cut to the girls apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe
and Rachel watch.]

(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the
hall, Joey says )

Joey: London baby!! (And Rachel slowly closes the door, sadly.)

Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!

(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show
moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single
episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London
Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)

[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is
carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]

Joey: Come on! Do something!

Chandler: I am, Im ignoring you.

Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All
right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of
London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)

Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?

Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the
map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to
go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)

Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!

Joey: I got it! (Picks up the map and starts walking.) Here we go.

Chandler: Okay. Listen-listen, were not gonna have to walk this way the
entire time are we?

[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are
walking to where theyre gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the
caterer.]

Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said
it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned
to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome.
Were not gonna be

Monica: Yeah, yknow, but something like salmon which would be so much more
elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldnt have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross
pushes her.) So, I cant wait to see this place youre getting married!

Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married
here.

Emily: I still cant believe theyre tearing it down. It really is the
most lovely building youll ever see. I mean its over (She stops
suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!

Monica: Its nice.

Emily: Oh. Oh. (She starts running towards the building.)

[Cut to inside.]

Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What
are we going to do?

Ross: Its all right! Everythings gonna be all right.

Emily: Hows it gonna be all right?!

Ross: Uh-huh, I see that.

Monica: (entering) Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out
what happened.

Ross: What? What?

Monica: They torn it down a few days early.

[Scene: Westminster Abbey, Joey and Chandler have successfully navigated the streets of
London and are approaching the Abbey.]

Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey Ive ever seen.
Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey,
Chandler?

Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre
thinking of changing the name of this place.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel
enters.]

Phoebe: Oh. Oh.

Rachel: Oh, honey! Dont get up! What do you need?

Phoebe: Oh, no. Oh, nothing.

Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.

Phoebe: Okay, I have a wedgie.

Rachel: Okay, that is all you.

Phoebe: So-so, what do you want for lunch?

Rachel: Oh, I dont know. I guess we have to eat.

Phoebe: Yeah, I do. Whats the matter?

Rachel: Im just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I
shouldnt have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.

Phoebe: Eh, dont be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love
with was getting married

Rachel: (interrupting) Still in love with?!

Phoebe: Yeah!

Rachel: Im not in love with Ross!

Phoebe: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.

Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my
ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in
love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow?
Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still
have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but
that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have
sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy
didnt you tell me?!!

Phoebe: We thought you knew!

Rachel: We?!

Phoebe: Yeah, we all know! We talk about it all the time!

Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?

Phoebe: Oh no, Ross doesnt know anything.

Rachel: Oh, I can not believe you didnt tell me!

Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew!! Its so obvious! God, that
would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean."

[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]

Joey: Hey!

The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? Weve got uh, scarves,
tulip post cards...

Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on
the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?

Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid"
T-shirt anymore.

Joey: Well, I like it. Here you go. (He pays for the hat.)

Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you?
Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?

Joey: Oh, I embarrass you?

Chandler: How can I answer that when Im pretending I dont know you?

The Vendor: Hes just jealous. Youll fit right in; all Londoners wear
them!

Chandler: Oh really? Then how come no one here is wearing them?

The Vendor: (looks around) Theyre all tourists.

Chandler: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public,
yknow, youre gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.

Joey: Oh yeah? (Puts the hat on.) If youre gonna make me choose between
you and the hat? I choose the hat.

The Vendor: Good choice.

Joey: Thanks.

Chandler: Okay, wait. All right, thats it, okay, Im out of here. I
am not going to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand
and walks away trying to be cool.)

[Scene: The hotel, Rosss room, Emily is entering.]

Emily: Hello?

Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think
well be able to find a new place for the wedding.

Emily: We dont have to.

Ross: Whoa-whoa-what? You found a place?

Emily: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall
being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.

Ross: She said what?

Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere
that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."

Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents
spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that
people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts
his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.

Emily: I realize that people are going to be disappointed. But, Im sure
theyll come back when we can do it right.

Ross: I cant ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that?
(Holds out his pants)

Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We
have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross
dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.

Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is
when were getting married.

Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if
you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we
shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)

Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No,
wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the
zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch
of shopping bags.]

Phoebe: Hey!

Rachel: (depressed) Hi.

Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?

Rachel: Manhattan does not have enough stores.

Phoebe: Well, I think I can help you get over him.

Rachel: You can?

Phoebe: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.

Rachel: Um-hmm.

Phoebe: And a small piece of chocolate.

Rachel: Okay.

Phoebe: And a glass of tepid water. (She gathers up all of these things.)

Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some
graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?

Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you,
the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay,
Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of
the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.

Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.

Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I
love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs
it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross
okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your
hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross
its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?

Rachel: I dont know, his uh, his hair never really bothered me that much,
and yknow it was always more crunchy than it was greasy.

Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try
some uh, aversion therapy.

Rachel: Okay.

Phoebe: Okay?

Rachel: All right.

Phoebe: So uh, now look at the picture

Rachel: Okay.

Phoebe: All right, and umm (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the
head.)

Fergie: Joey says you dont really like his hat, but I think its
kinda dashing.

Chandler: How did you? How? How?

Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right?
So, Im in my map and-and (Ross enters) Hey!

Monica: Hey!

Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.

Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!

Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!

Monica: Umm

Chandler: Im gonna go to the bathroom.

Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)

Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a
pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at
all?

Monica: She said that?!

Ross: Yeah.

Monica: Why?!

Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just
because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.

Monica: Oh my God. Youre even dumber than I am!

Ross: Excuse me?

Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?

Ross: I dont know. A month?

Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the
first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we
did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect
four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets
thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most
important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that
other stuff was.

Ross: I had no idea. And that-that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were
just doing the flying nun.

Monica: Sometimes we were.

Ross: Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay?

Monica: Okay.

Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)

Chandler: That was pretty intense huh?

Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in
there because we were uncomfortable being out here!

Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]

Phoebe: Hello.

Joey: (on phone) Hey, Pheebs! Its Joey!

Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just
like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I
figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.

Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the
chick and the duck are doing?

Phoebe: Ohh, theyre having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe!
Aunt Rachel hasnt been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?

Joey: Kinda, but Ive just been having way too much fun.

Phoebe: So youre not homesick yet?

Joey: No, I dont think so.

Phoebe: All right, the seven of us miss you.

Joey: Whos seven?

Phoebe: Yknow, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies

Joey: Ahh, the babies miss me?

(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)

Phoebe: Ooh, the pizza guys here!

Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!

Phoebe: Yeah. But yknow we were thinking about you, yknow we ordered
the Joey Special.

Joey: Two pizzas?!

Phoebe: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.

Joey: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!

(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV
and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes
happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)

Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if
you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow,
its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be
really hard, its over.

Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt
stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Scene: Moving Shot towards The Waltham House.
A phone is ringing.]

Housekeeper: The Waltham Residence.

Phoebe: Oh...yes..is
this..umm..Emilys Parents house.

Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper
speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the
telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes
to speak.

Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is
Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm,
might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?

Housekeeper: Miss Waltham, is at the
rehearsal dinner and its not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.

Phoebe: No no no, Ill be nice, I
swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?

Housekeeper: Im afraid, Im not
at liberty to divulge that information.

Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to
ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that
number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New
Glocken..shire.

Housekeeper: Hangs up.

Phoebe: Hello, Hello. Ohh, OHH, she knew I
could kick her ass.

[Scene: Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily
are standing in the reception area. Monica arrives with her parents.]

Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.)
Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his
wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a
cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not
responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.

Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive
weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on
the shoulder.).

Monica: Ha ha, a joke thats funny in
all countries.

(Ross quickly directs the families to their
tables.)

[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the
kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]

Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)

Joey: Whats in it?

Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and
panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)

Joey: (Looking up at the
waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.)
Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee
house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.

Chandler: Joey, its been three
days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just
try to enjoy yourself.

Joey: (Pointing at Chandler.) Your
different here too. Your mean in England. (Chandler throws his hands up to his head in
frustration. They walk away from each other.)

[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross,
Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]

Mr. Geller: (Looking at ht wedding bill.)
What the hell!!!

Ross: whats up, Dad?

Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the
wedding. its insane.

Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The
receptions at their house.

Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the
bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying
to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch,
a piece of my mind.

Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please.
Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough
couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?

Mr. Geller: And you tell him no one takes
advantage of the Gellers.

Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over
to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)

Monica: (Looking nauseous from her parents
kissing.) And Im going to go get drunk. (Gets up to get a drink.)

Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm,
when is your next flight to London?

Ticket Agent: (looking at her computer
terminal) Theres one leaving in thirty minutes.

Rachel: Ohh, good.

Ticket Agent: And I do have one seat left.

Rachel: Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank
you.

Ticket Agent: The last minute fare on this
ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.

Rachel: (looking through her wallet.) Ohh,
I just dont think I have enough left on my credit card.

Ticket Agent: Well you can split it with
another credit card.

Rachel: Ohh, okay, how about five. (She
hands her all the credit cards.) Ohh, thank you.

Ticket Agent: Im just going to need
to see your passport.

Rachel: (Looking through her purse.) Okay,
you know what? I dont have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night
stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty. (She
slides it across the counter.)

Ticket Agent: (Slides the twenty back and
tosses her credit card onto the counter.)

[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at
the Walthams table discussing the bill.]

Ross: Look, face it, my father is not
going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now
I might be able to get you the new lawn.

Mr. Waltham: Ahh, then you have to give us
the lawn ornaments.

Ross: I go back there with lawn ornaments,
hes going to laugh in my face.

Mrs. Waltham: This is ridiculous. I mean
we had an agreement. (Ross looks frustrated. She begins to scream at her husband.) Will
you say something, Steven?! Please!!!

Mr. Waltham: Dont take that tone
with me. (She looks evilly at him.) All-all right you can. (He looks over at Ross and
Shrugs.)

[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing
the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]

Rachel: (Running to her room.) Hi, Pheebs.

Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down
the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to
be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to
know, I think you are doing the right thing and...

Rachel: (Running back out the door with
her passport.) Bye, Pheebs.

Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where
are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I
always pregnant when she does that?!

[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler,
Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets
up to make a toast.]

Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and
Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my
little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get
flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out
with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to
work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and
no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)

Mrs. Waltham: Hello, Waltham Interiors.

Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to
speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.

Mrs. Waltham: Who is this?

Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay.
Im one of Rosss best friends.

Mrs. Waltham: Well, if youre on e of
Rosss best friends, why arent you here?

Phoebe: Yeah, um, I cant fly.
Im having my brothers babies.

Mrs. Waltham: Oh, am I on the radio?

Phoebe: No..umm, could I talk to one of
them? Its very very important.

Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And
Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at
Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction
from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All
right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)

Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey
Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just
want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back
home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys.
(pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we
please..go home now?

(One of the bridesmaids, Felicity, puts her
arm around Joey.)

Felicity: (Putting her arm around Joey.)
Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better.

Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a
teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler
tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)

(Ross and Emilys parents are seated at a
table. Ross is between them and they are discussing the wedding bill.)

Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell,
Im paying for it.

Ross: Look, were down to just one point.
Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.

Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just
want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking
German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked.
Jack and Judy get up and leave.)

(Chandlers trying to console Monica.)

Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay?
Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.

Monica: Then why would he say it?

Chandler: Because hes crazy. Okay?
He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.

Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre
going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.

Ticket Agent: I cant do that.

Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on,
well just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".

Ticket Agent: Im afraid Im
going to have to ask you to step aside, Miss.

Rachel: Look, If I dont get to
London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!

Ticket Agent: I cant imagine why.

Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not
leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice.
The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)

[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Ross bursts into
the room.]

Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married
today!! Whoo-hoo!!

Chandler: (With the covers pulled up to
his chin.) Morning, Ross.

Ross: Im getting married, to..day!!

Chandler: Yeah you are!!

Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the
door.

Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and
looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not
knowing what to say.)

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and
Monica are lying in the bed together talking. Theres an awkward air between them.
They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]

Chandler: Well Ive-Ive never
done that with you before.

Monica: (In am uneasy voice.) Nope. (She
chuckles uneasily.)

Chandler: So, ahh, how are ya? How
ya...How ya... You okay?

Monica: Yep, yep...You?

Chandler: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You?(Looking
over at her. She looks back.) We did you.

Monica: Well...Id better get going.

Chandler: Oh yea yea, absolutely.

Monica: (Scoots towards the side of the
bed.) Could you not look?

Chandler: I dont want to look.

[Scene: The Virgin Atlantic flight to London
that Rachel is on.]

Rachel: Ohhh.(she rhythmically taps her
hands on the magazine on her lap.)

Passenger: Ahh, ahh, excuse me.

Rachel: Yeah?

Passenger: If youre planning on
doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a
sedative...or perhaps slip you one.

Joey: I know! Thats why we got to
find Monica!! You know where she is?

Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the
third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally
confused.)

[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story
to the passenger on her left. The one on her left is still wearing his headphones.]

Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All
this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt
come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...

Passenger: (Frustrated he takes his
headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! Im sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to
say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.

Rachel: Ehh, pardon me?

Passenger: You say you love this man, yet
youre about to ruin the happiest day of his life. Im afraid I have to agree
with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.

Rachel: But he has to know how I feel!

Passenger: But why? He loves this...this
Emily person. No good can come of this.

Rachel: (Sighing) Well I-I think your
wrong.

Passenger: Oh-no.(He bites his fist at
her.)And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. (Rachel
gasps and doesnt know what to say. He puts his headphones back on.)

[Scene: The church where Ross and Emily are to
be married. Judy, Andrea, and Monica enter together.]

Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the
chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.

Mrs. Waltham: I know, its horrible
isnt it?

Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my
wedding looks this good.

Mrs. Geller: I just hope...

Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of
them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)

Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica.
Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door.
You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.

Monica: (Awkwardly.) Why would I care
where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I dont even like Chandler.

Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch
for Rachel.)

(Ross and chandler are standing next to the
alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)

Ross: (Using a slightly different
inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.

Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its
the second one.

Ross: (Very Nervous)Really?

[Scene: Joeys in the front entrance
watching for Rachel. The bridesmaid he met at the rehearsal dinner come in.)

Felicity: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.

Joey: Hey, Felicity.

Felicity: Umm, I thought about you all
day.

Joey: Yeah.

Felicity: Um-hum. Talk New York to me
again.

Joey: (In a New York accent.)
Fuggetaboutit. (She giggles.) How you doin?

Felicity: Mmm. (She pushes him up against
the wall and they begin to kiss.)

Joey: Oh, yeah.

(Back in the chapel. The parents are still
fighting over the bill. Ross is refereeing.)

Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir?
Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?

Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay!
Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day!
>From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN!
(Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!

Mr. Geller: Okay, okay.

Mr. Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my
thumb, you know.

Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that
shes in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. Its
bad luck.

Ross: You know what, I think weve
had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)

(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid
are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She
walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to
cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)

Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches
him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into
his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold
back the tears.)

[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band
members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a
bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A
cellular phone rings.]

Mrs. Waltham: (Answering the phone.)
Hello, Waltham Interiors.

Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe
again.

Mrs. Waltham: (Throws her head back in
disgust.) Why?!

Phoebe: Yea. Can I please, please, please
talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.

Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into
Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.

Joey: (Smiling.) Ohh great!! (Putting the
phone to his ear.) Hello. (He begins to escort her down the aisle.)

Phoebe: Did you stop Rachel?

Joey: No, but its okay. She just
came in and gave him a hug, that it.

Phoebe: So nothing got ruined?

Joey: No.

Phoebe: Oh thats so great! Ohh, so
whats going on now?

Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down
the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the
bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to
Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its
Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.

Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please,
hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss
shoulder.)

(Chandler escorts Monica down the aisle.)

Chandler: What we did last night was....

Monica: Stupid.

Chandler: Totally crazy stupid. (He nods
his head at the people seated.)

Monica: What were we thinking?

Chandler: Im coming over tonight
though, right?

Monica: Oh yeah. Definitely.

(They quickly take their places and Here Comes
the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle
by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)

Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered
to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share
with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily...

Emily: I, Emily...

Minster: Take thee Ross...

Emily: Take thee Ross...

Minster: As my lawfully wedded husband, in
sickness and in health, till death parts us.

Emily: As my lawfully wedded husband, in
sickness and in health, until death parts us.

Minster: Now Ross, repeat after me. I
Ross...

Ross: I Ross...

Minister: Take thee, Emily...

Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends
have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A
slight chuckle.) Emily.