You, Watching Watchmen: An Uninitiated Viewer's Guide

By Troy Brownfield March 6, 2009 08:59am ET

All right, so your comics-reading buddy has talked you, Non-Comics-Reading Lad, has talked you into to seeing Watchmen.

Or, your comics-reading spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend or pal or
teammate or pet or artificial intelligence or whomever you hang with
has convinced you, someone that’s never checked out Watchmen , to see the film. We’re not going to lie: if you haven’t read Watchmen,
then you’ve missed out on a truly great reading experience. If you
don’t have time before tomorrow night, and want the complex world to
make a little bit of sense heading in, then we’ve got some Pre-Game
notes for you.
And no, this in not an annotation or a complete dissection or a review
or an index or an annex or a codex. It’s a field guide for the
inexperienced hiker. So save the “You forgot . . .” for the next time
you don’t read the intro to one of the “Replacement Heroes” columns.
This is for your buddy, your significant other, your parents (though I
couldn’t really see taking my Mom to see this), or whomever. These are
the absolute gut-level basics. Let’s begin with . . .
What the Hell is Watchmen anyway?:Watchmen was a
12-issue series from DC Comics that ran from 1986 to 1987. It was
written by Alan Moore and drawn by Dave Gibbons (with color by John
Higgins). Even comics civilians may have heard of the much lauded
Moore; he had a memorable run on Swamp Thing, and wrote V for Vendetta. He’s still writing installments of The League of Extraordinary Gentleman. This proves that he never did see the LOEG movie; that would have surely killed him.
Why is the movie a big deal?: People have basically considered
the text un-filmable since it appeared. Of course, people have wanted
it to be a film for just as long. Many talents have tried (They tried and failed? They tried and died.
Okay, not sure if Lynch ever thought about it; nonetheless . . .), but
no one got it off the ground for years. Finally, Zack Snyder, director
of the Dawn of the Dead remake and 300 (based on the
Miller/Varley comic), managed to get the film together. And the whole
journey at the studio was a breeze. (Pause for laughter and/or snarky
remark from blogger with smaller audience). Actually, the fact that
Snyder pulled this off after an intricate journey of rights through
various hands and studios is a minor miracle in itself.
Okay, so why is Watchmen a big deal?: Well, it’s Important. In a lot of ways, Watchmen
was the first truly “adult” super-hero story told at the major
publishers. Sure, there had been smart and relevant stories before
(O’Neil and Adams on Green Lantern/Green Arrow, Moore and the gang on Swamp Thing, many others), but Watchmen raised the bar. Filled with post-modern thought, complex literary techniques, and a dense narrative that demanded re-reading, Watchmen wasn’t like anything before (or since, really). It won awards, got covered in Rolling Stone and Time,
drew enormous attention to comics, and inspired a legion of creators.
The collected edition of the series has sold in staggering numbers
since the ‘80s; in fact, DC printed 900,000 copies in the past year to
meet demand when it erupted back into Amazon’s Top Ten on the back of
its trailer being show ahead of The Dark Knight.
Give Me the Story Basics: It’s an alternate 1985. Thanks to the
intervention of super-powered Dr. Manhattan, the U.S. won the Vietnam
War. Richard Nixon is still president, and America and Russia are
sliding toward nuclear Armageddon. Against this backdrop, a masked
“mystery man” is killed, spurring another to believe that someone is
out there gunning for the heroes that were forced into retirement by
the Keene Act of 1977.
So, Do I Know Any of the Characters?: I’d say no. If you’ve
never read the thing itself and you’re not a regular follower of
comics, then this will be fresh territory for you. You may be
interested to know that the original pitch for the Watchmen was based
on a group of characters that DC had acquired from Charlton comics.
However, seeing how the project would render those characters
essentially unusable, the idea was massaged into original characters
with a similar story framework. We’ll give you the Charlton analogues
as we discuss the six major characters. And they would be . . .
The Comedian

Charlton Analogue: The Peacemaker

What’s His Deal?: A costumed adventurer since the 1940s, Edward Blake,
The Comedian, is the character that bridges “The Minutemen”, a loosely
affiliated group of heroes from that time, and the heroes of the 1960s
to 1980s. Note that the second generation of heroes never refer to
themselves as “The Watchmen” in the book; they are only called this in
graphite and newspaper articles. It’s based on a phrase from the
writings of Juvenal, which translates as “Who Watches the Watchmen?”,
meaning who looks over the ones that are “in charge” of us. A cynical,
nihilistic wiseass, The Comedian has government connections and has
committed some notably despicable acts in his life.

Portrayed By: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, best known as the Winchester Boys’ dad on Supernatural and the Denny That Wouldn’t Die on Grey’s Anatomy.

What’s His Deal?: The hardcore vigilante with the shifting facemask
serves as the narrator of the story. Raised from a harsh background and
warped by what he’s seen, the Rorschach of 1985 is paranoid and
dangerous. If he ever had a friend, it was Nite Owl II. He’s the one
with the “mask-killer” conspiracy theory.

Portrayed By: Jackie Earle Haley. Haley had an active career as a young actor in the Bad News Bears franchise and Breaking Away. His acting “comeback” was in 2006’s Little Children,
for which he was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting
Actor. The male lead in that film, Patrick Wilson, plays . . .

Nite Owl II

Charlton Analogue: Blue Beetle II (Ted Kord)

What’s His Deal?: Nite Owl is the gadgeteer-detective typified in
modern popular culture by Batman. He dresses as a winged creature of
the night, has an eponymous vehicle (The Owlship), and finds that he’s
more effective (in many, many ways) in costume than in his daylight
identity. He tries to be a good friend to Rorschach (though he knows
the other adventurer to be losing his grip) and has a strong attraction
to Laurie Jupiter. Nite Owl is a “legacy hero”, carrying on for the
original Nite Owl (Hollis Mason) that was one of “The Minutemen.”

Portrayed By: Patrick Wilson, notably of Little Children and Angels in America.

What’s Her Deal?: Stage-mothered into heroics by her mom (Sally
Jupiter, the original Silk Spectre), Laurie Jupiter has a number of
internal conflicts. She has contempt for Rorschach, but outright hates
The Comedian for an incident in the past. When the story opens, she’s
living with Dr. Manhattan, though she herself is looked upon
unfavorably by Manhattan’s government handlers.

Portrayed By: Malin Akerman. Her biggest roles thus far have probably been in The Heartbreak Kid and 27 Dresses, but she had memorable turns in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle and in an episode of Entourage (she was the girl that E fell in love with during the ménage with Sloane).

Ozymandias

Charlton Analogue: Thunderbolt

What’s His Deal?: He was the hero that cashed in. Early on, Adrian
Veidt realized that he could take off his mask, turn to the corporate
world, and use his superior intellect to change the world from behind a
desk. He took his heroic image and marketed it, turning out everything
from TV to toys based on his image, all the while marketing other
products from the industrial on down to perfume. His social status is
stratospherically above several of the other characters. His companion
is Bubastis, a lynx that he genetically altered.

Portrayed By: Matthew Goode, who has had roles in pieces like Chasing Liberty and the recent remake of Brideshead Revisited.

Dr. Manhattan

Charlton Analogue: Captain Atom

What’s His Deal?: Dr. Manhattan is the sole super-powered character in
the Watchmen narrative. Caught in an intrinsic field accident in the
‘50s, Doctor Jon Osterman managed to reform himself as the
blue-skinned, incredibly powerful (and perpetually naked) Dr.
Manhattan. His existence helps the U.S. easily win the Vietnam War, and
his presence is a factor that is pushing possible war with the U.S.S.R.
When the story begins, his is in a relationship with Laurie Jupiter,
Silk Spectre II.

Portrayed By: Billy Cruddup, who will always be “Golden God” Russell from Almost Famous.
The other work that you hear him do almost daily? He’s the voice of
MasterCard commercials. Watchmen graphic novel? $20. Watchmen movie
ticket? $10. Having your naked blue body mapped for the world to see in
CG? Priceless.