It's tricky, as you've said you're not in to the outdoors, so all I'm coming up with are food/ drink related stuff indoors!

You could always say that you'd love to see her, and she could come over and hang out one evening instead.

I suggested coffee/ cake as they're quite low key things that don't take too much time or effort. Most of the 'day out' things take a bit more time, and if you're not keen then that's stretching it out for longer.

Re: Am I being petty?

It's tricky, as you've said you're not in to the outdoors, so all I'm coming up with are food/ drink related stuff indoors!

You could always say that you'd love to see her, and she could come over and hang out one evening instead.

I suggested coffee/ cake as they're quite low key things that don't take too much time or effort. Most of the 'day out' things take a bit more time, and if you're not keen then that's stretching it out for longer.

The manicure spa thing is actually a really good idea! Thanks! I was planning on getting a facial and pedi before next weekend's weddings so I might suggest turning it into a girl's/bday thing and see how she responds...does that sound like a normal thing to do (I'm so bad at this!)

Re: Am I being petty?

So she's at work atm so I sent her this txt:

Hey, hope your feeling better today thanks for the offer to do something this weekend for my birthday but I've got to keep those plans but would really love to spend some time with you so I was thinking what if we organised a girly day before next weekend, mani/pedi/facial or something, god knows my feet are atrocious lol? maybe see if (sil) can join us?

Hey, hope your feeling better today thanks for the offer to do something this weekend for my birthday but I've got to keep those plans but would really love to spend some time with you so I was thinking what if we organised a girly day before next weekend, mani/pedi/facial or something, god knows my feet are atrocious lol? maybe see if (sil) can join us?

Someone tell me I didn't stuff that up!?

I think that sounds really nice.

Hopefully she can make it, and even if she can't she will probably feel happy that you wanted to do that with her.

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I'm glad you've decided to do something with that part of the family... if you reject people, they're not going to try again, after all.

I do think that you might be requesting a little too much of them though. For most people, birthdays ARE coffee, cake and food (or just one of them, at least). It's a cheap way to celebrate. Facials/manis/pedis sounds nice, but it's expensive, and a facial won't have you celebrating with her - you'll be put in your seperate rooms and given a facial and that's that. The pedis/manis might be a bit more social but it's still handing over a decent sum for all of about 45mins.

Why do you want to avoid cake and coffee? I can get maybe you don't want a meal, you might be on a diet or whatever... but a drink? I don't even drink coffee and I go out "for coffee" with people. TBH, I hardly eat food either. I physically cannot. Yet I still attend food functions. I just eat very little, or stick with a drink and no food. It's just a much more sociable, affordable way to celebrate.

Anyway, they might be rolling in it for all I know... but I just think that if I said, "Let's have a picnic," and someone said, "No, let's go get beauty treatments!" I'd be thinking, "Whoa! That's way more costly than I had planned..." and might think, "What's wrong with a simple picnic? How high maintenance is this chick that she can't accept a picnic?" An alternative would easily be a cafe or something if you hate outdoors... it's still the same kind of deal and price. But yeah... just something I'd have considered.

Re: Am I being petty?

Originally Posted by SassyMummy

I'm glad you've decided to do something with that part of the family... if you reject people, they're not going to try again, after all.

I do think that you might be requesting a little too much of them though. For most people, birthdays ARE coffee, cake and food (or just one of them, at least). It's a cheap way to celebrate. Facials/manis/pedis sounds nice, but it's expensive, and a facial won't have you celebrating with her - you'll be put in your seperate rooms and given a facial and that's that. The pedis/manis might be a bit more social but it's still handing over a decent sum for all of about 45mins.

Why do you want to avoid cake and coffee? I can get maybe you don't want a meal, you might be on a diet or whatever... but a drink? I don't even drink coffee and I go out "for coffee" with people. TBH, I hardly eat food either. I physically cannot. Yet I still attend food functions. I just eat very little, or stick with a drink and no food. It's just a much more sociable, affordable way to celebrate.

Anyway, they might be rolling in it for all I know... but I just think that if I said, "Let's have a picnic," and someone said, "No, let's go get beauty treatments!" I'd be thinking, "Whoa! That's way more costly than I had planned..." and might think, "What's wrong with a simple picnic? How high maintenance is this chick that she can't accept a picnic?" An alternative would easily be a cafe or something if you hate outdoors... it's still the same kind of deal and price. But yeah... just something I'd have considered.

I'm going to ring her later as she can take days to reply to texts. I have full intentions of paying my own way, and I know she was going to get a facial and mani done next week anyway so Ill clarify all this with her. I figure that way it's actually cheaper than even going for coffee as neither of us are paying for anything we weren't already going to do, I'd like to think the idea was more about quality time iykwim I'm not a presents person anyway.

Re not wanting cake or the like, yep diet is my main reason when it comes to food and drinks but no cake for a year was my new years resolution, I've lasted almost 9 months, don't want to ruin it, this will be the first year I've stuck to a Nye resolution.

My dad has offered to put something on, but I honestly can't be bothered doing anything. I told DH to cook me my favourite meal and I'm happy.
Oh, and I want cake, too
I haven't had an actual party since I was a kid. Once or twice DH and I have stayed in a nice hotel and gone out for the night, which I'd much prefer as opposed to a big party.
Do what ever you want and enjoy your birthday! I'd just say thanks but no thanks to DP's mum and move on. I totally get where you're coming from, but it's not DP's mums fault. God, the amount of birthdays I've forgot over the years!

Re: Am I being petty?

Originally Posted by Euphoria4

It's my birthday on Saturday as well!

My dad has offered to put something on, but I honestly can't be bothered doing anything. I told DH to cook me my favourite meal and I'm happy.
Oh, and I want cake, too
I haven't had an actual party since I was a kid. Once or twice DH and I have stayed in a nice hotel and gone out for the night, which I'd much prefer as opposed to a big party.
Do what ever you want and enjoy your birthday! I'd just say thanks but no thanks to DP's mum and move on. I totally get where you're coming from, but it's not DP's mums fault. God, the amount of birthdays I've forgot over the years!

Re: Am I being petty?

Originally Posted by pinkplease3

I'm going to ring her later as she can take days to reply to texts. I have full intentions of paying my own way, and I know she was going to get a facial and mani done next week anyway so Ill clarify all this with her. I figure that way it's actually cheaper than even going for coffee as neither of us are paying for anything we weren't already going to do, I'd like to think the idea was more about quality time iykwim I'm not a presents person anyway.

Re not wanting cake or the like, yep diet is my main reason when it comes to food and drinks but no cake for a year was my new years resolution, I've lasted almost 9 months, don't want to ruin it, this will be the first year I've stuck to a Nye resolution.

Good work, your message sounds pretty good to me . And a mani/pedi... lovely!
I hope you have a great time, both at the spa and on your holiday .

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