Youth to Youth helps parents talk to kids about drugs, alcohol

Tuesday

Jan 15, 2013 at 3:15 AMJan 15, 2013 at 5:54 AM

By Andrea Bulfinchabulfinch@fosters.com

DOVER — Truth, avoidance, or a little white lie.

There are a lot of ways a parent could choose to handle talking to their children about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. On Monday evening, groups of parents were able to rehearse their reactions to various scenarios through Youth to Youth's Freeze Action Theater held at the McConnell Center.

Learning how to break the ice and have conversations with children about the dangers of drugs and alcohol use was the focus of the event, which targeted parents of fifth-graders.

Youth to Youth Coordinator to Dana Mitchell shed light on the idea to educate children with facts on biology rather than legalities — such as “because you're not old enough” — when it comes to speaking with children.

Sharing facts about how their brains are still developing is a more powerful tool than an arbitrary reason, he said.

“Don't go for that easy one,” he said of what answers parents should consider giving.

One of the most surprising things, they said, was that their children of just ages 10 or 11, were aware of using drugs and alcohol.

“This is one of the very few times in your child's life that they're going to be interested in what you're saying,” Nick Piscitello, Youth to Youth member and narrator of the first out of four scenarios parents participated in, said.

Piscitello also encouraged them to bring an element of reality into the answer parents would give their children regardless of whether they chose to be completely honest, or fudge the truth a bit. Above all, he said it was important not to give an answer that would make any conversation more awkward than necessary in the future.

Youth to Youth Coordinator Dana Mitchell, also encouraged parents not to share more than they are comfortable with but to give an answer in which they feel confident.

“You have a right to tell a little fib until you're ready to talk about this,” Mitchell said.

The theater even was a way Youth to Youth, an organization with more than 70 members, turned their focus from educating fellow students to specifically parents.

Those who attended said they found the sessions really helpful.

“Definitely,” TJ LaRoche, father of an 11 year old, said.

“I think it's just been eye-opening,” he said.

He said some of the statistics children are learning at that age — along with their parents — are scary.

“I thought I learned a lot of ways, but I learned a lot more,” Becca Jacques, mother of a 10 year old, and who said she would consider her own actions more thoughtfully, said.

She also said this was a good reminder that children get messages not just from parents, teachers, and peers, but from music, television and the culture around them.

About half a dozen parents participated in each of the groups which rotated through four different scenarios over the course of two hours.

With smiles and nods, they each realized what kind of impact their words can have on their children, even when parents think their children might not be listening or hearing what is said.

In reality, they were told, some of those words will sink in.

Perhaps most importantly, parents took turns participating by engaging in conversations with Youth to Youth members acting as stubborn or curious children. Though some were timid, each seemed grateful to have had a “practice run” with an audience who represented their own children.

“You can understand the concept but have trouble forming the words,” Mitchell told them, encouraging those who were shy.

“Have it be awkward and uncomfortable here, so it's less awkward later,” he said.

Frank Gerhard, father to an 11-year-old daughter, took a chance during one of the sessions to try out a conversation. He was most surprised about how soon he may be having a similar talk.

“I just never thought it would come up this early,” he said.

Whatever the answers were, Mitchell reminded throughout the sessions that an honest attempt at speaking and listening was most important.