Taste Of Cruelty

hey this is about a 3 day thing iv been doing with the other member of my band. Its better is RSE but make sure you turn down the volume for Piano and Strings. =D

Enjoy and Crit vigorously.

infinatedestiny

05-05-2010, 05:44 PM

I think maybe the little crash moment after the final chorus should also be present just before the bridge, that transition currently feels a little bumpy.

Of course, I would have told you this on Xfire if you bothered signing in right now -.-

For all others: I'm the 'other member' except I didn't really do anything at all, this is all 13th's work.

|_JR_|

05-06-2010, 06:42 AM

It's a pretty ok song, not exceedingly original but does its purpose. The idea of adding piano and strings to the metal riffing is one that I fully approve of, more people should be doing this rather than just chuga-chuga the whole time xD... ok, as for real critting, some random notes:

- your bass is tuned just like a guitar, which kinda defeats the purpose of having a bass altogether, it's supposed to fill the low-frequency range... either use a proper bass tuning or that drop-C one octave down, k?

- the strings fill in the chorus is good but slightly "inconstant" because you have chords followed by single notes and it breaks the flow a little. I messed a little with them in the 2nd chorus so you can see what I mean.

- I also think you should add a cymbal (crash or something) in the first bar of bridge to fix the transition... oh wait, that's what your mate said. nevermind :peace: and some of the notes in the strings for the bridge itself sound better (imo) tied together, rather than played sucessively in each bar. Again, I messed with the file so you see what I mean.

- and maybe make the final chorus a bit more full? Add rhythm guitar or continue the lead from the previous section into a chorus melody? I feel that it would add some very welcome extra tension to the finale of the song.

That was a lot of suggestions xD don't read me wrong, it was an enjoyable piece, it's just that if I were writing it, I'd have made some things different, only small details as you can see. Take my suggestions as you wish.

If you wanna C4C, I point you to Lost Dreams, in my sig. cheers :cheers: