Why Motley Crue's "Final Tour" Is a Bunch of Baloney

Motley Crue's going on tour again, and the band promises it will be its last. Of course, as everyone knows, these hype-inducing, ticket-sales-generating promises are made to be broken.

And Motley Crue know everyone knows that. And so, on Tuesday in L.A. they upped the ante with a compelling gimmick: Band members signed a "Cessation Of Touring Agreement," effective at the close of their "Final Tour," which begins in July and concludes near the end of the year. They've all agreed in a legally-binding way, they claim, that they'll break up and never tour again.

From their press release:

Band Attorney, Doug Mark of Mark Music & Media Law, explains "Other bands have split up over rancor or the inability of people to get along, but this is mutual among all four original members and a peaceful decision to move on to other endeavors and to confirm it with a binding agreement."

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The tour hits the Hollywood Bowl July 21. So what if you buy an expensive-as-hell ticket, convinced it will be the last time you'll be able to see the band - only for them to do another show three years from now? Does that mean you can sue?

Um, no. See, here's the thing: The agreement is a just another stunt to sell tickets. It almost surely has no legal basis, and no teeth at all.

Sarah L. Cronin, an L.A.-based entertainment lawyer at Kelley Drye & Warren, has not seen the agreement, like just about everyone else. (L.A. Weekly asked Motley Crue's PR for a copy, but received no response.) But she smells a rat:

"While the band members themselves could enter into an enforceable agreement not to tour as Motley Crue anymore, there's no scenario I can imagine where a member of the public could enforce the agreement against the band," she says. "There's likely nothing stopping the band from dissolving the agreement in the future if they all agree to it."

So, sure, it's possible that if Vince Neil were to recruit three of his homies and try to tour as Motley Crue (perish the thought), the other bandmates would have grounds to stop him.

But other than that, there's nothing doing here. The bottom line: Despite this "agreement," nothing's stopping these guys from getting back together and touring. And you can bet your Aqua Net they'll do so, probably sooner than later.

You know what? We salute them. Promising to end your career and then not doing it is a tradition that stretches from the Eagles to Jay-Z - there's nothing more rock and roll. But outlets like CNN and Rolling Stone should probably not be taking these claims at face value.