Provided here is an account of the events in the past half year, based on what has unfolded within the team The purpose of this post is to establish an understanding of our current circumstances and how it came to be. We feel that we owe this statement to the Dota 2 community and our loyal fans. The details disclosed are permitted by Era.

Early this year (January – April)

As many already know, Adrian ‘Era’ Kryeziu has not been participating in recent tournaments due to health issues. As some might remember, the first LAN that Era refrained from playing was the D2L Season 4 LAN Finals in Las Vegas, NV in January of this year. To the rest of the team, this came as a big surprise as there had been no prior indication of sickness (at the very least, Era had never mentioned this before). Our team managed to get 2nd place with two stand-ins. This feat in itself demonstrates the level of commitment and dedication we have to the game.

Later that month, we participated in SLTV’s Starladder Season 8 LAN Finals in Kiev. Era did not exhibit any noticeable health issues and did not voice any concerns. We felt that things were back to normal. Fast forward to April, Dreamhack Bucharest LAN Finals. Again, Era was fully able to travel and appeared normal. However, the rest of the team was completely unaware that Era’s health condition had taken a turn for the worse.

Bootcamp (May- June)

In our preparations for this year’s The International, we were planning on bootcamping in London, the location of Fnatic’s headquarter office. I flew there after DHBucharest, while the remaining four members were to follow suit in late May. Shortly before our scheduled arrival date, we were informed by management that Era would be arriving a few days later than planned. There was an unforeseen relapse in his health condition, and he would be accompanied by his girlfriend and her parents. When he finally arrived, he was not the Era that the team had come to know and love as a brother; he was not himself—he was vomiting every day from anxiety attacks for the short duration of his stay, which was less than a week. He later explained to us that panic attacks would arise every time he had to travel. His condition forced him to return home shortly after his arrival.

The moment that Era left for home, we immediately informed Valve of our circumstances. At the same time, we searched for a stand-in for BeyondTheSummit’s The Summit LAN Finals in Los Angeles, CA. Of course, we considered the possibility of a more extended leave of absence from Era, which is why we chose Steve ‘Xcalibur’ Ye. We were looking for a talented player who could synergize with our team and had the potential to grow, but would also have a completely clear schedule, as none of us knew when Era would fully recover. At the time, Xcalibur felt like the best shot we had.

As we have explained in many interviews, we only had two short days to train with Xcalibur before flying out to BTS. Even with a bleak outlook, we managed to beat arguably one of the strongest teams to date, DK, as well as ViciGaming, who took 1st at EMS, and Na’Vi.US, the winners of TI4’s US Qualifiers. Yes, we were disappointed with 5th/6th place, but given the time we had to prepare, the team felt Xcalibur had raw skill that had the potential to achieve great results with some guidance.

With DreamLeague Season 1 around the corner and ESL One later this month, there were decisions that had to be made, and quickly. Time was not a luxury we had. At this point, we were emphasizing communication on all channels—between Valve, future tournament admins, Era and his family, Era’s doctor, and Fnatic’s upper management. Although we were quite depressed as a team, we could not even begin to imagine Era’s position. His doctor had advised him to avoid games for some time to relieve some anxiety and pressure, so we could not practice with him, even from his home. This would inherently diminish our chances at LANs, so we did not know how to proceed. On the other hand, Era wanted so much to compete with the rest of the team, but the world was against him. This frustration led to his tweet where he states “Not allowed to play at any LAN during the summer. I would’ve loved to, though”. In the end, we hoped to get more practice with Xcalibur while giving Era more room for recovery.

After DreamLeague, we reassessed the situation. Again, Era and his doctor were voicing concerns and again, we were unsure if he would be ready to participate at ESL One, and the fast approaching The International.

As many have seen, we have been playing the past month with Xcalibur. We have beaten Na’Vi in a best-of-three and Alliance in a best-of-five, culminating in a 3rd place finish in D2L Western Challenge and 2nd place in D2CL Season 3, respectively this past week. As mentioned before, we have taken games off other top teams, including DK, VG, and Empire.

The International

It is important to note that we have been in constant communication with Valve from the very beginning. We have kept them informed of our situation and Era’s recovery progress, however slow it has been. Valve consistently stated that those five players that were originally invited to play (namely, Fly, N0tail, Era, Trixi, H4nn1) remain the five players expected to be present in Seattle.

Even though we understood Valve’s position, we appealed to them, stating that our circumstances were starkly different from prior roster changes, as Era’s health condition was unforeseen and has been inconsistent thus far. This is not carpal tunnel or a broken finger. Era’s health condition is psychological in nature and, if not handled correctly, can have detrimental effects extending into his adult years. This is a risk no one wants to take, least of all Era. We want to be 100% confident in Era and his condition. Nevertheless, Valve insists that the original five players play or we cannot play at all.

What Now…

As we approach TI4, we are at a crossroads—to play with Era without knowing if we are damaging his health, or to be disqualified. To play with Era would also mean extreme lack of preparation. We have not been practicing as the original five for some time now because of everything recounted in this post. As such, even if we were once able to perform on that level fans love and crave, we cannot reproduce this performance without practice and preparation.

It is Era’s goal to participate in The International (and our hope); we support Era and hope to see him play alongside us, but in the event that something should happen, we would still like to be granted the opportunity to compete to show our Dota 2 fans and community that same level of commitment and dedication we have to the game.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story. Thanks to friends and family who have stood by us during this difficult time, and to our unwavering fans. We hope to see you all in Seattle!

82 comments

I have been watching you guys since the old MSI days in Hon with Freshpro and Nova. It has been a roller coaster ride and you guys have been fantastic from the beginning till now. I really hope Era gets better, because he is an integral piece of the Fnatic puzzle.
Excalibur has been playing fantastically and I love how your team has had to improve and change your strategies to incorporate him, but I think that you have done great.

Good luck is ESL/The International, and I hope that Era can get better in time for Fnatic to win TI4

Wow... I find this sickening from Valve.
Mental illness such as depression and anxiety is a serious sickness and should be considered as such! I am from personal experience aware of how much of an impact it can have on you as a person. Making Fnatic play with Era (or get disqualified), even if his condition doesn't allow it, is shocking and appaling. I thought higher of valve than this and I sincerely wish they come around.
My best regards to the team and especially to Era himself. You have support from all over the world! Get better soon, and good luck!

ehm.. your cant read. he CAN play. no doctor FORBID him to play. He WANTS to play (he is 18 so his parents are out of the equation). Valve ALLOWS him to play. If Fnatic wants to participate at TI, Era WILL play. End of discussion.

EG was allowed to change its roster and switched Fear for Mason because of a hand injury, Era suffers from a mental illness and isn't allowed to switch for Excalibur, really bad move from Valve I assume this will change with the Dota and Reddit Community being the way it is...

Valve is actually a big Joke...
How can they allow EG to take Mason and force Fanatic to play with a sick player? Especially since his health issues look far worse than fears, who is still able so stream and play dota f0r 5h+
If Valve wants dota and esport in gerneral to be considered as a serious "sport" in the western world, there should be CLEAR and FAIR regulations for both sides. As in any other sport, teams have more members than actual, players on the "field". Since this is not really possible in dota, there should be at least the chance to nominate 7 players as a roster before such a huge tournament like Ti. Since valve wasn't able to get their regualtions fair for everybody, i think its absolutly nessesary to allow a team to pick a standin, if someone has health issues.

boy oh boy.... you are not very smart. they want to exclude him because they think they can do better without him (mentioning all the wins against Alliance and Navi). Understandable but not fair. Considering he had anxiety and depression its a bad move anyway to exlude someone and take away his hope and dream of having a shot of playing and or winning the international. Its very, very smart of Valve to allow him to participate (even if his team doesnt think they have a chance WITH him). Sometimes you have to be a good sport and let people play, even if you cant win. After all, it's just a game.

mate your missing the big picture. They didnt want Era to play because they dont want his health decline. he is currently unstable health-wise. they dont know when the next attack is going to happen or how is it going to affect him. those tournaments COULD BE EXTREMELY STRESSFUL AND NERVE WRECKING. He is in a fragile state and H4nn1's last E-mail proved that, they dont give a rat's A** about the winning as long as Era is not affected.

http://blog.dota2.com/2014/06/6608/#more-6608
Please read the mail where Era wants to play and Valve has already said that a player has to be physically or otherwise fit to play in TI. He has to prove that he is medically fine which Era says he is and can prove it. It is Era's decision to play in TI4 or not depending on his health.

Really sickens me to hear about valves decision to not let you play with Xcalibur instead of Era. Anxiety (and i guess there's a serious case of depression as well) is a really serious mentall illness that some parts of the society won't realize.

I have been watching you guys play since the early HoN days and as others have said you have always been amazing both as persons and ingame.

I wish the whole team the best of luck in all your endeavours!

And to Era: Things will get better bro and you will find a way out! Remember that real friends and your family will always be there for you! Keep fighting!

Do you realize that ur pathetic moron? You say learn to read when u clearly can't do it urself. You put so much hate and hatred in ur posts and all u did is to make a fool of urself. I will explain it why, checkthe time when they posted their comments and then check when valve gave their official statement on blog. You will find out that when they were writing that only information that was given it was this one from fnatic and by reading it you can clearlyassume that era is unable to play (which was false information but ppl didn't know it back then) and valve force them to play with him even tho it could be dangerous for his health. I think that valve did right but what u did here is just wrong. Learn to read - your words.

Hi, I just thought I'd share some thoughts. This is not really related to competing in the TI4, but for Era directly.

I personally went through a very difficult time with anxiety, so I understand the situation Era is facing. I also know a few people who suffer in a similar way, and I have observed that a lot of people find it difficult to recover from this situation. I have, however, managed to gain control of my anxiety to a level it does not inhibit my day to day life. I thought I would share a few things that were relevant to my recovery.

One doctor is not enough doctor. Unfortunately (at least in Australia) issues regarding to mental health are still poorly understood amongst the medical community. During that time of my life I received treatment from three separate health professionals. I had a doctor, and a psychologist who I discussed drug treatment with. I also had a psychologist whom I discussed strategies to mentally manage anxiety.

After recognising that I was suffering from anxiety (and was not having heart attacks but panic attacks) I retracted from the major areas of my life. One of the big ones was competitive offshore yacht racing. I also started on a prescription of anti-depressants. These drugs were a tremendous help, by removing a 'baseline' level of anxiety I was able to function in a perfunctory way (keep going to work ect.). It also allowed me to really focus on my mental strategies and practice with a significantly reduced challenge.

I also got, for the first time in my life it turns out, a view of what life was like for normal people. As I had previously had no idea I suffered from anxiety, and had just lived with it not knowing any better (until the panic attacks started, then I realised something was wrong). This is not to say the anti-depressants were a solution, they came with their own (and rather significant) side effects. I took them from around 6 months (which was a short time comparatively) before I decided that I was ready to face the full force of my anxiety.

During the time on the anti-depressents I put a lot of work into talk therapy with my psychologist, I was doing a mix of cognitive behavioral therapy and as I got better at CBT looking at underlying unconscious patterns my brain had formed as the root causes of my anxiety.

Another critical thing I did was take the time to face up to things that caused me significant distress, one of these main things was sailing. However I came at them in a different way to how I had ever done before in my life. My challenge was getting to the boat, getting on board and being there. I didn't care what the outcome was, or how I performed, just that I got on board. As I had previously sailed for a long time once I was there I knew what to do, and as I had managed to take away the pressure from performance I found I often performed better.

By going through this, and things going well, and then doing it again. And again. And Again. I managed to retrain my brain that this was a positive experience, and not one to be anxious over. That's not to say I don't get pangs of anxiety, but its very different from being a vomiting mess.

Now, over two years later, I am off drugs and I don't currently attend therapy. I have routine control of my anxiety, and whilst I still feel its effects Its never debilitating. I have learned a lot about myself a long the way, In that regard I am glad I had to go through this trial (not something one can believe, till the pain of the condition is blanketed in memory).

I hope you do get to read this Era, I hope you are able to find treatment that allows you to face your life in much more comfortable way. I hope you are able to return to doing things you love and enjoy. Remember that each persons pathways are very personal, and what worked for me might not for you. The best thing you can do is be constantly aware, and have a strong passion to overcome.

I took the time and freedom to read your post. It touched me with it's lightheartedness and openness. I thank you for that. You truly sound like a victorious person who's been through a Epic Heroes Journey. Now all that's left is sharing and caring!

ValvE makes me more and more sick to my stomach. They understood the difference between roster changes and health issues, when it came to EG - and rightly so allowed it. Era has been sick longer than Fear, and is a far more serious illness. Dennis Bergkamp, when in Arsenal, for instance could never travel abroad as he suffered from travel anxiety.

I wish Era the best, and he is a truly genuine person, who shook the hand of my girlfriend at TI3 with respect, as she gave Fnatic her support amidst the anti-Fnatic Americans(she is also). Fnatic has my support also, even if I always supported the now MYM.

I feel that the way Fnatic is being treated by Valve is kinda unfair since EG got Mason to stand-in for Fear because of his constant injury. Why aren't Fnatic at least given the chance to appeal the same way EG did? In the end, we all still want the same thing; great Dota2 games at the highest level.

I think you have the third way: you can play on TI4 with 4 team members because there are no rules for afk (formally you have 5 heroes, but 1 is in afk mode). It will be hard, but I think you can beat some teams there, guys. Good luck.

So it's ok for FEAR to be replaced, a guy who was in valve's documentary and who is a more famous player than Era, replacing him with some random guy Mason, whoever he is. it's no problem, but replacing Era with a guy top of the MMR standings who's proven himself over the past months AND who's played several huge tournaments while changing the team's gamestyle AND the meta (so many more tinkers and meepos seen) is not ok? Wow valve you have outdone yourselves

I want Era to take meditation. As I am a buddhist, I always solve my mental illness with meditation. U can relax most of the depression and mental illness while meditation and will get a very pieceful mind after taking it. If u do it regularly, u will leave most of ur anxiety and depressions gradually. So brother Era, u should take meditation and u will feel how it works. I belive that u will be better within one week of meditation.

For valve, they only take care their business. It's human health they r taking risk. The International will be held once a year. But human health is priceless to take risk. Other four members will be permitted by valve bcoz they can't avoid community power and strong unity.

Hope all of the current players and Era to be in best form.
Good luck Fnatic.dota2.

It must be hard for either Valve and your team right now when rule is rule and your team can't risk Era health.

I've been watching you guys fighting along for a year and still watching now and knowing that you guys are trying so hard for this TI4 and from deeply of my heart,I want to see you guys best performance in this year and become TI4 champion so much :( .

Best regard to your team and hope you guys can enter the TI4 in the play-in series with Excalibur if Volvo don't accept Era condition.

This is such a sad move from Valve and I hope they reconsider everything and let fnatic play with Xcalibur. I really don't understand how they can let EG play with mason and this is some really unprofessional move from them. FEAR is even streaming a lot and i don't know how he is able to play that long. ERA is not even playing lately and that shows how ill he is right now. If Valve doesn't allow fnatic to play they sure would lose a lot of support at least from me.

This is disgusting. EG roster dates a whooping 5 months and in that period they rotated 3 different carries in LAN events. But the team with the MOST stable roster in the whole scene cant make a change when a player of theirs faces such a serious condition? Fear is not even injured ffs he streamed for 8+ hours after the announcment