'Nine lives' Nick Kyrgios lights up Wimbledon

The king is crook, long live the king. It is not that Lleyton Hewitt is gone yet because, typically, he is still fighting with his last breath to stay alive in Wimbledon. Whatever else we have said about Hewitt, he has never been anything other than an exemplar of heart and will to win. But just as his career is fading, along comes his clear successor of the heart, 19-year-old Nick Kyrgios of Canberra. His match on Thursday had to be seen to be believed.

Down two sets to love against the 13th-seeded Frenchman Richard Gasquet, the teenager looked gone for all money. But Kyrgios just kept swinging. And, after surviving no fewer than nine match points – including a Kyrgios double fault, that he challenged and won – our man went on to win 10-8 in the fifth set. He's the one. Bravo, and go you good thing!

Rumbling with Jungle Jim

Enough about our own Sam Robson who – despite being born and raised in Paddington – went on to score a century while opening the batting for England this week, in only his second Test. Let's talk about his father, Jim, instead. Jim is now in charge of the nets at the SCG, but in the 1970s was a first-grade batsman for UNSW. TFF was sent a story this week about the time when "Jungle" Jim Robson was batting against a bowler from Bankstown who will remain nameless – let's just call him Lenny Pascoe – who'd already made his name, with Jeff Thomson bowling from the other end for Bankstown, as one of Australia's foremost homicidal maniacs, with ball in hand. So the story goes, Robson batted for a few hours, which made Lenny ever more angry and abusive.

Finally, Lenny gets him out, but as Robson walks back to the pavilion our Lenny follows him, shouting abuse into Robson's earhole telling him how hopeless he is. This goes on halfway to the boundary, at which point Robson stops, turns to Lenny and says quietly, “Len, you will always be a better bowler than I will be a batsman, but let me tell you, I will beat you at Scrabble any day.” I love it. You love it! Sadly, however, Geoff Lawson, who the story was originally sourced to, swears the author of the remark was Bruce Collins, QC – the former chairman of Cricket NSW – when he was playing for Sydney University. But both Lawson and Chris Chapman – who was also around at the time and is now the boss of Australian Communications and Media Authority – affirm that, whatever else, Jim Robson was a superbly talented batsman, and in the case of his lad, the apple has not fallen far from the tree. Congratulations to them both.

World Cup takes a dive

Dear Simon Hill,

At your specific request, I've tried, I've really tried, to get into this World Cup and . . . you'll be pleased to hear I have half-succeeded! The Socceroos were inspiring. The rest of it has been pretty good with lots of the big guns going down blazing, led by England. (Loved it, just on principle!) At its best it has been, as described by my friend Richard Sleeman, “Shakespeare in shorts.” But then you have things such as the Uruguayan player, Whatsit Suarez, biting the Italian player Giorgio Chiellini. How appalling was the whole thing? Let me count the ways. Sportspeople don't bite. In fact, no one does. It is the lowest of the low. Even though Chiellini only got a nip, he went down in a screaming heap like he'd had his ear shot off by a sniper. Then for the piece de resistance.

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After biting Chiellini on the shoulder, before our very eyes Luis Suarez himself goes down! The whole debacle finishes with the biter and the bite-ee, both rolling on the ground in seeming agony, looking for the attention of the referee. Simon, what a crock of unacceptable nonsense. This is no straw-man; this is your code's best and brightest! This is Luis Suarez! This is the guy who was the Premier League's Player of the Year! The reaction in rugby, NRL and AFL if Israel Folau, Sonny Bill Williams or Gary Ablett jnr did that would be shame and stupefaction. No one would believe it possible, and if it did everyone would hang their heads. But, in soccer, there seems to be general merriment and a shrug of the shoulders. After all, he's done it TWICE before! Why is it so? How can you cop that as part of the culture? Where is the outrage?

I remain,

Your favourite irritant,

Peter Fitz

Hell hath no fury like . . .

What happens when tuckshop ladies attack? I thought you'd never ask. Britain saw the answer last weekend, when as reported in the London Daily Telegraph, a tuckshop lady who felt she'd been unfairly dismissed from a school in Shrewsbury drove her car on onto the cricket pitch as the school's first XI was practising and started doing, ahem, “doughnuts". Still not done, she then jumped out of the car and went after a teacher, chasing him all over the field with a fire extinguisher. “Our groundsman is obviously not happy that someone drove a car onto the cricket pitch and the square,” a school spokesperson said.

“You are not even allowed to walk on it.” All of us in Australia must remain on guard, lest this dangerous trend take over here. Yes, they look like mild-mannered tuckshop ladies. But are they really? Clearly, when a good tuckshop lady goes bad, the results can be frightening.

Gallen good but not that good

Who is running our Olympic precinct? A staggering report this week had it that they're thinking of immortalising Paul Gallen with a bronze statue there, as our answer to the Wally Lewis statue at Lang Park! Seriously? Look, Gallen is a staggeringly good footballer, and no doubt a very good captain, but of equal stature to Wally Lewis south of the Tweed, he is not. So before they make the mould to try to match one who broke the mould, perhaps they might care to wait – for starters – for the investigations at ASADA to play out?

Beyond that, look at Gallen's long and troubled history of being in the centre of any number of controversies, from ripping the stitches out of an opponent's wound to being charged and found guilty of racial vilification after allegedly calling Dragons player Mickey Paea a "black c---". NSW has produced many extraordinary rugby league players – Bobby Fulton, Johnny Raper, Reg Gasnier, Clive Churchill, Andrew Johns and Laurie Daley himself spring to mind – and to cast Gallen in bronze for captaining NSW in the first winning series he's been a part of in the last nine, is ludicrous.

Get on your bike!

Come on you slack bastards, the Tour de Lounge is on again, this year kicking off on Saturday, July 5. As you know, the TdL is the annual charity event, shamelessly mimicked by the Tour de France. Our people sit in their lounges and rack up the kilometres night after night on exercise bikes, while in France they do it rather more primitively, on actual bikes, going up and down mountains. TdL peloton riders complete 1000 kilometres (or more, or less, depending on how strong they are) over the same period as the Tour de France, and get sponsored by friends for every kilometre. Last year, 97 riders raised $68,000, with every cent going to the Leukaemia Foundation. With more riders, they might crack $100,000 this year! Visit tourdelounge.com.

What they said

SMH reader Damian Kelly: ‘‘FIFA have had a hearing about Suarez bite incident and they have awarded it to Qatar.’’

Italy centre-back Giorgio Chiellini insisting Uruguay’s Luis Suarez bit him during the World Cup match between the two teams in Natal. ‘‘He bit me, it’s clear, I still have the mark. The referee should have blown his whistle and given him a red card, also because he was simulating.’’

Did the British Huffington Post have the best headline on the Suarez bite?: ‘‘Chewy Luis and the Blues.’’

Latvian tennis player Ernests Gulbis at a Wimbledon press conference, when asked about John McEnroe’s belief that umpires should be abolished. ‘‘Get rid of vampires? I completely agree.’’

Derryn Hinch on Paul Murray: ‘‘What’s the difference between the England soccer team and a tea bag? A tea bag stays in the Cup for longer.’’

The Daily Mail takes a dim view after England lose their first two games of the World Cup to be sent packing: ‘‘This is as good as it gets. This is what we must expect. This is who we are now. The smiling idiots just happy to be at the party.’’

An Indian cricket follower tweets: ‘‘I was supporting England in the World Cup, but unfortunately, England’s World Cup campaign proceeded a lot like my sex life; there was no passion, no communication and it ended all too quickly ... What’s worse, the next time will be after four years.’’

Wayne Bennett after his Knights had their first win in seven matches, against the Cowboys: ‘‘It’s a pity we haven’t got a bye next week ... We could go back to back.’’

Willie Mason uttering this month’s version of rugby league’s ancient mating calling — Bringggg backkkk the bifffff!: ‘‘I didn’t really enjoy watching Origin II. The niggle sort of slowed the game down a bit ... It turns it into AFL. Some bloke just needs to swing a punch and see what happens.’’

Queensland rugby league great Greg Dowling still on angry pills, all these years on, when it comes to NSW: ‘‘It’s typical NSW. They win one series and they think they’ve created the biggest dynasty of all. That’s what they are like, they have no class. They are arrogant. They win one series and suddenly they are predicting the death of Queensland.’’

Dowling again, on booing Brent Tate as he was walking off the ground with a ruptured anterior cruciate ligament: ‘‘It’s a low act, Brent Tate is one of the greats of the game and deserves better than that. That’s what Sydney are like, they even booed the captain of Australia, Wally Lewis, when Iwas playing. That’s why I hate them ... That’s why every other state in Australia hates NSW.’’

Brisbane Lions legend Jonathan Brown announces his retirement, after suffering his third head knock in a year: ‘‘The competitor inside me was saying I had some football left ... but it wasn’t worth the risk of playing and potentially getting another head knock.’’

Robbie Slater to Craig Foster, on Twitter: ‘‘Learn how to co-commentate! You ruined the World Cup my son! A bit harsh but constructive!’’

Team of the week

Sam Robson. Born in our own Paddington, with an English mother and an Australian father who manages the indoor nets at the SCG, last Saturday he scored a century for England against Sri Lanka, at Headingley.

Sydney Swans. Looking for 10 on the trot on Saturday against the Giants.

Greater Western Sydney. Meanwhile the Giants are looking for three in a row for the first ever time. Already have four wins, which is double their previous best.

All Blacks. Their win against England last Saturday meant they equalled the world record in international rugby of 17 consecutive Test victories.

Waratahs. Resume Super Rugby hostilities with a game against the Brumbies on Saturday night.

Melbourne Vixens. Won their second trans-Tasman championship with a grand final victory over the Queensland Firebirds last Sunday in what wasn’t a good week for those north of the Tweed.

Australian Schools Rugby Championships. Begin at St Ignatius’ College, Riverview, on Monday and conclude next Saturday.

Aaron Baddeley. Had his best result in a while — fourth — at the Travelers Championship, whatever, and wherever that is.

Paul Ambrosoli. The voice of greyhound racing — he’s been doing it for 50 years! — finishes up at 2KY. One of the old school and a very good man