Due to the recent college admissions scandal, I, like other ethical, educated college counselors, feel the need to speak up about the admission trends. I won’t spend my time worrying about those who starred in this scandal, there has been enough written about them and their unethical actions. However, I would like to address a major issue that is plaguing our young people, and that is pressure. It is not only the wealthy that are taking desperate measures to try and guarantee admission into college, our children are doing it every day. Students are participating in after school clubs that they have no interest in at all. They are running for school elections but want no responsibility and have no passion for leadership. Students are taking AP classes who struggled while in college prep and honors classes because they feel they are falling behind. The pressure they are feeling is real and understandable but unfortunate. Students are struggling to find out how they can stand out within a group of standouts. What will make them shine and get those coveted spots the admission counselors are filling?

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for students exploring different opportunities to broaden their horizon – the issue is that our children are not benefiting from these experiences when they are simply participating for the benefit of admission into college. They are not fully emerging themselves into the process and growing from these experiences if they are simply doing it for the possible reward at the end.

I tell students all the time, try and find something you enjoy doing instead of worrying about how stacked your resume is. I do believe students should fill their time with other activities besides video games and trips to the mall. However, I feel strongly that no matter what they do, whether it is coaching younger kids in a sport they have a passion for, writing poetry strictly for the love of it, or working part time at the local grocery store for extra money, learn from your experiences and enjoy the ride without worrying about the prize at the end. If we continue to encourage our students to focus only on the future and make decisions based on the reward of an elite education, they will miss out on life. As Frank Bruni so eloquently put it, “For these kids, education isn’t an opportunity to wring more meaning from life and make a more constructive impact on the world. It’s transactional. It’s a performance. If the right audience doesn’t clap, there was no point in even taking the stage.”

So I challenge you, fellow parents, to help your child strive for a balanced life. A life where they are present and active, where they are excited about new adventures and opportunities and less worried about how a college admissions representative would evaluate them. ​