Beyond the Red Door ~ Rhonda Burns

I was on a walk with my mother one evening after dinner, and I must have been about 13 or 14 years old. We would walk through the neighborhood and just talk about whatever came up in the moment. I was always very observant and curious as a kid (still am, actually) and I noticed what seemed like everything. On this particular night, I remember noticing a red door of a house we passed and it caught my attention. “Hey mom, look at that red door! Isn’t it beautiful?” I remember smiling widely as I looked at it and the feeling of warmth and the joy I felt while looking at it.

I don’t recall if my mom acknowledged that she thought it was beautiful or not, but what I do remember her saying was, “Well, you know, Rhonda, a red door signifies something more than just a color of a door. A red door once signified that a woman living there was a prostitute and lived beyond the boundaries of society’s good graces.”

What I “heard” my mom say (interpreted), spoken AND unspoken, is that a red door is “bad” and that a “good girl” wouldn’t have a red door because people might assume she’s naughty, bad, and not acceptable – and that just isn’t okay.

So what did I do? At some point from that moment, I shut down my love for red doors. I stopped noticing them. I stopped enjoying them. I stopped questioning anything about them. I judged them as wrong, bad and inappropriate. No, no one asked me to do this, nor did they require me to do so. But through the conditioning I’d had, the modeling I was receiving, the expectations of my parents, my church and the societal projections I was aware of, as well as the energy of judgment I had perceived with the words my mom spoke, I chose to take the point of view that my mother had mentioned, and I wrapped it up in a tight little package and locked it away somewhere within the depths of me.

It wasn’t until I was on a walk in my current neighborhood a few months ago that I was walking past a sweet little home with a white picket fence, wrap around porches, hanging potted plants dangling in the breeze that I noticed the red door against the gray painted exterior with white trim.

I stopped mid-stride, turned to face the house from the across the street and I physically exhaled. I also had a smile on my face so wide my cheeks actually ached a little! And then it all came rushing back. The memory of walking with my mom, talking about red doors, hearing the feedback about what my mom knew or thought about them and then for whatever reason, choosing to not only NOT appreciate them again, but to actually judge them as inappropriate.

And yet, there, in that moment all these years later, there was no denying that this red door, for whatever reason, made me happy! Having the immensely deep and remarkable tool box I have, I know that if something feels this good, this light, makes me smile and lights me up this much, it’s something that is very, very true and real for me. I was smiling – almost giddy – for no apparent reason, other than something about the color red makes me FEEL something…vibrant and alive. And how many other red doors do you think I saw on that same walk that day? Not one, not two, but 4 more red doors!

So I ask you, friends: “What is YOUR red door?” Is it a certain style of jeans or clothing? Perhaps a certain type of car, or home, or purse, or color of paint, or area of town, and so on.

What points of view, beliefs, decisions, judgments, or conclusions have you bought as yours that were never actually yours to begin with? Regardless of why you bought them, or what it does or doesn’t “mean”, I’d like for you to start noticing just how many beliefs you have that aren’t actually yours and that don’t actually work for you now. You may be surprised when you begin to unravel all the decisions and beliefs you function from, and realize that you may not actually agree with them after all.

For whatever reason you chose to believe what you did, when you did, from whom you did, or how long you’ve been carrying them around, I am here to tell you, if you like red doors, you want a red door or you just want to bask in the vitality and vibrancy that gazing upon red doors gift to you, that is YOUR choice and your ability! No blame or guilt required here. Just choice to ENJOY whatever it is you would like to enjoy!

I’d invite you to play with the following:

Notice what you perhaps once really enjoyed/, but you haven’t allowed yourself to love it lately.

Ask if those things still light you up?

If they do, yet you’re not choosing them, ask yourself, “Did I buy someone else’s conclusion or decision about this, or something pertaining to it?” If you get a “yes”, simply say, “Thank you, you can have that back now!” Then be willing to let it go. Poof! Just like that.

Then be willing to choose it again now. Just because it makes you happy.

What can you add to your life that would light you up and increase your joy factor? Get the awareness then be willing to choose it!

If you’d like to learn or know more of the tools, tips and techniques I’ve learned, as well as teach & coach others, to truly create a life, living and a body that truly rocks, please contact me in one of the following ways: Rhonda Burns, Life-Changing Creation Coach. Best-selling author. International Facilitator. Radio Show Host. Web: www.rockthemotherload.com Email: Rhonda@rockthemotherload.com. Office: (972) 420-4530.