The natural response for a 49-year-old mother of three who's hospitalized after allegedly inhaling whip-its and smoking a synthetic herb: mortification, which is apparently what Demi Moore is feeling following her Jan. 23 health drama.

"Ego-wise, this is the worst thing that could happen to Demi, because she's such a private person," an insider explains to People, apparently unaware of the string of highly personal photos (bikini and otherwise) the star has tweeted over the last couple of years. "She's embarrassed."

And understandably so, what with the chaotic 911 call going public and speculation that her oldest daughter, Rumer, was present when she reportedly began experiencing seizures.

According to the mag, Moore is "tortured by insecurities" and started falling apart after she announced her split from Ashton Kutcher, 33, in November after six years of marriage.

Spies claim she was "barely eating and partying wildly" in the run-up to the night she ended up in trouble. At the heart of the problem: Demi's purported need to find a Fountain of Youth.

She "was always fixated on being young," contends a snitch. "And the only thing that tied her to that, as she got older, was her marriage to a younger guy and hanging around young people."

That might explain reports that the actress was partying with Rumer, 23, and flirting with 27-year-old actor Ryan Rottman (or, as one onlooker put it, "She was grinding on his butt") a few weeks before her hospitalization,

"As Demi got older, she convinced herself that she needed to stay young and skinny to remain attractive to her husband," posits an insider. "She needed reassurance all the time that she was hot and sexy."

Demi has apparently been seeking "spiritual counseling" in the wake of the incident, and People says that her long-standing devotion to Kabbalah is helping her cope.

Adversity "can be an opportunity, a blessing, and not a curse," expounds the confidant. "The right intervention happened in her life. From a spiritual sense, it is a gift. She has a real opportunity to grow from it. She has to take responsibility for her life."

Adds a source to the New York Post, "This was a scare. But she's doing very well."

As for Kutcher, he appears to be giving his estranged missus her space.

"He has inquired about her through friends and managers, and the family, and made noises to people around her," the insider tattles to the paper. "But the last time they saw each other was around a week before this [her collapse] happened, and that was because he needed something from the house."