Marguerite Picard Blog

Hi and welcome to my blog.

This blog is a free resource for you with the aim to educate and express opinions about collaborative family law, divorce, separation and child custody. All articles are informative and are up to date with current practices. Please enjoy reading and take care of yourself. - Marguerite.

Divorce advice from “Experts”. Knowing when to pass.

Separation and Divorce happen every day to many families. Maybe because it is a life crisis that so many people face, family and friends often think they have helpful advice for you. Sometimes that’s true, but very often it is not. Because someone has been divorced themselves, or someone close to them has been through that experience, that doesn’t make them an expert.

Divorce can certainly be a time to lean on friends and family, but it is also a time to make sure that those who advise you are skilled professionals and are objective in the situation. Your family and friends are never objective, because they love you. When it comes to the advice of family and friends it might be best to remember what Oscar Wilde had to say, “The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself”.

Rosalind Sedacca has some good tips too:

Your family and friends all mean well. They want to support and help you through any crisis. But be aware that along with their support they bring with them the baggage of opinions and judgments that inevitably colour their advice. If you allow yourself to be influenced by the well-meant suggestions of these individuals, you may find yourself falling into a deep quagmire of confusion or even depression.

No one walks in your shoes and has experienced your history. At the same time, most everyone has an agenda, an opinion on what you should or shouldn’t do based on how they see the world…….

I understand why people don’t know where to turn to when they first separate. They probably don’t want to go to a lawyer who might be expensive and go on the attack, when that does not align with the way they feel, and when what they really need is to express to someone the sense of fear and chaos that the world now presents them with.

Lawyers are not the first people to talk to about separation and divorce, despite that being some kind of odd tradition we have developed. Your GP, a counsellor or a financial planner might be more appropriate. And for many people, getting reassurance about how to look after their children and shield them from the fall out will be their highest priority, so a child specialist can be the most important professional in your orbit.

Better than any single option is to find a professional who can guide you into the arms of a collaborative team for support and advice in all areas that you need help with. After many years of seeing people flounder and spend needless amounts of time and money during their separation, I ensure that my clients have the opportunity to manage all their concerns under the one roof. And that goes for both spouses and their children.

I’m part of an interdisciplinary collaborative community, and the different professionals are able to work seamlessly to do what they all do best, at the right time, and at the right fee. If you’d like to learn more about what I think of as the gold standard for separating families, check www.melca.com.au or call me for an information meeting at a fixed fee of $385, to which you are welcome individually or as a separating couple.

“Lawyers as Peacemakers”? Hmm. Is that in the science fiction section? No, but I can see why you’d be asking your Divorce lawyer that question. I was talking to someone about J Kim Wright’s book “Lawyers as Peacemakers”, when this question was asked. And yes, I get it. Most people aren’t used to hearing “lawyer” and “peace” in the same… Read more

Bouquet? Buttonhole? Pre-nup? Should we have a pre-nup? You know how lawyers like to say, “That depends”, well that’s what I’m going to say in answer to this question. As well as, “Welcome to a very large club”. The desirability of having a pre-nup depends on your values, your age and stage, and on how you see the financial aspects… Read more

Divorce Applications and Proper Arrangements for Children In Australia, it is a requirement for Divorce that proper arrangements have been made for any children of the marriage. A Divorce Application asks questions about the living arrangements, health and education of the children. We could now do away with these questions. Recognition of the importance of children’s care and support in… Read more

Getting divorced? “Get a proper lawyer, my friends said”. I agree with your friends! Definitely get a proper lawyer. I’m a collaborative lawyer, and I agree that if you are going to have a lawyer in your divorce, go for proper. A proper lawyer will: • listen to you • learn from you about how you and your ex have… Read more

Turning your Divorce Settlement into Dust “Who do you believe about what is a fair property settlement?” Henry says this was one of the hardest things he had to decide when he got divorced. He got lots of advice, as you probably have too, if you’ve been separated. Henry saw a couple of lawyers in the early days of his… Read more

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Marguerite Picard

It is my passion to challenge traditional thinking about divorce, to see common sense prevail, so that divorce is separated from 'the law'. Apart from mediation and collaboration being my daily bread, as a practitioner and a trainer, I aim to change the world. A little.

Located in Hawthorn, Melbourne

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I am an Accredited Specialist Dedicated to Keeping Families out of Court. My aim is to deliver a different, kinder divorce for my clients.