The City Living Perspective

September 19, 2013

Well hello lovely readers of Back East Blonde! I’m Serena and I blog over at Spillerena. I’m blonde too, so I suppose you could call me a Back West Blonde? Anyway, today Nadine has graciously allowed me to take over her blog. I’ll try my best to live up to your high expectations, but considering that Nadine is way cooler than I’ll ever be, I’m not making any promises 🙂

I currently live in San Francisco, in a teeny tiny apartment on a very steep hill. So last week when Nadine wrote about apartment etiquette for dummies, I had to laugh, because 1) she’s insanely funny, and 2) her suburban apartment etiquette sounds very different from that of San Francisco apartment etiquette. I’ve lived in this city for almost seven years, so I consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to apartment living. For those of you living in cities, I thought I’d share with you my own list of etiquette rules.

Behold…

San Francisco Apartment Etiquette for Dummies!

1. If you live in an apartment and you want to have a dog, you will probably need therapy. No, seriously. I say this because most apartments don’t allow pets, but there is a loophole to this rule! And that loophole is the therapy pet! To “qualify” you go to a therapist or a doctor and tell them about how you are depressed and anxious and that you think having a pet will really help you. While many doctors are against this, it’s not hard to find someone who will give you the note. I have three friends that have gotten “therapy dogs” in order to get around this no-pets rule. Another friend even has a therapy cat!

2. That said, if you do get a therapy pet, don’t be an asshat and pretend that your animal is really a therapy animal, taking it places that pets are not supposed to be. It’s rude to those that really do need an assistance pet.

3. If you are one of the people blessed enough to have outdoor space such as a balcony, or, be still my heart, a yard, you are required to invite your friends over every. single. time. the weather is nice. It is an unspoken law.

4. Ooohing and aaahing and complimenting a friend’s apartment is expected. People pay a lot of money to live in this lovely city, and compliments make you feel that the cost is somewhat validated. I once told someone that her kitchen was so nice it was turning me on, and she told me that was the best compliment she had received all month.

5. Be friendly but not too friendly. Too friendly and you officially become the apartment creeper.

6. However, when someone says hello to you, say hello back. If you continue to stare silently, you will soon become known as the apartment sociopath.

7. You are only allowed to spy on your neighbors if they are prone to walking around naked with their blinds WIDE OPEN. In which case taking pictures and sending them to your friends is allowed.

8. Rent control is amazing, but because of it, getting anything fixed requires major badgering. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. So be squeaky.

I’m sure there are many more, but I think that’s a pretty good start for those of you considering moving to a city. You might be wondering why in the world anyone would want to live in San Francisco, all things considered. But despite the apartment creepers, tiny cramped spaces, therapy pets, and naked people, it’s worth it.

Because living in San Francisco means you get to make up to views like this:

Hi, I’m Nadine. I'll try not to be a mommy blogger but that's probably where this is headed. Oh, and I'm definitely going to try to convince you that Philadelphia is the coolest. I love my husband, kid, and dog (but who doesn't?). Let's be friends.