Balik Alindog Program

On the right is the picture that semi-inspired me to whip my lazy butt back into “shape” (and by shape, I meant not looking like Grimace’s half sister). It’s been almost a month and I must say, I think things are going good.

Okay, let me be the first to admit it, I let myself go. For almost two years, I’ve started eating rice again twice everyday plus teensy snacks in between and ended up gaining more than 20 pounds (I think). I reached 130 lbs. several months back. I don’t have a weighing scale right now but I might’ve lost a few pounds already.

(Same dress, same pose, different weight- Left: three weeks ago, Right: A year and a half ago)

Granted, I’ll never be a size zero and I can’t go back to my skinny, 110-115 pounds self looking emancipated takes a lot of hard fucking work and I think I’m at a point where I love food too much to really give it up. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and did light exercises plus started eating less fried, greasy foods and ate more fish and things. I already lost an inch off my waist, which is great because I can fit into my old jeans again (though barely).

(Left: Last week Middle: Ew. More than a year ago Right: Two months ago)

My face is also noticeably smaller again with little to no hint of double chin, hahahah! Yes, I’m aware that this is a very shallow post and I’m being overly critical of myself but if your self worth is tied to your weight you got a fucked up metabolism like I do (Yeah, I ate for the past two years but I have a small appetite ) you’d understand.

I made a mental note to blog about the Master Cleanse diet as soon as I made it to the five day mark. For those interested or those who want to subject themselves to the same torture, here’s the recipe:

For an average 12 fl. oz/355 ml glass (or to make it less complicated, a tall Starbucks tumbler) you will need to mix roughly 3 table spoons full of lemon juice, 3 tablespoon full of maple syrup and a generous dash of cayenne. Drink 6 to 12 glasses of this mix for 10 days and that’s basically it. For more deets, read this.

To ease yourself back to eating solids, you will have to eat raw fruits on the 10th day. The boyf and I substituted maple syrup for honey because 1) Here in the PH, it’s hard to find real maple syrup 2) Real maple syrup is crazy expensive and 3) Honey has less sugar than maple syrup (researched by the boyf).

Also, for those who think they can’t go on this kind of diet because they suffer from gastritis or whatnot, you’re in for a surprise. I am afflicted with gastritis as well (got the stomach burns from hot compress to prove it) and no symptoms at all halfway throughout this diet. From the PDF file that the diet came with, it says that this drink actually helps alleviate gastritis. Based on experience, it won’t trigger your condition. Here’s how things went down with yours truly:

First Day: The first day of not ingesting anything besides the lemonade mix is well, torturous at the very least, let me tell you. I’m no stranger to starving one’s self but the first day was a fucking killer. I couldn’t move my arms much, my mouth was dry, my stomach was grumbling, I was constantly lethargic and I got mild headaches during the afternoon. We were warned by the boyf’s friend that the first and second day were the hardest but it’ll be smooth sailing from thereon.

Second Day: Less torturous than the first but totally not a walk in the park either. Same symptoms, stomach grumbling that are worse than the first day, no energy, headaches late in the afternoon and a mild case of bad breath due to mouth dryness. What I do to prevent this is to make sure I brush my teeth periodically and then scrape my tongue thoroughly. It’s a good thing I was taught early by my mom to scrape my tongue each time I brush my teeth, I’m used to this without holding back a choke.

Third Day: By the third day, the symptoms are less pronounced. Yes there’s mild stomach grumbling but barely. No crazy cravings for food. I’m still a bit lethargic from time to time and there’s less energy though not as bad as the first two days. Also, I’m having mild break outs though I’m not sure if that’s because of the diet. The only unbearable symptom I can think of is that every type of food looks good to me. Fuck, I’d even pawn my left kidney right now for a plate of sauteed sardines with soft boiled egg and a cup of rice.

Fourth Day: Hunger pangs early in the morning but tolerable. My arms and tummy are noticeably slimmer. I get mild dizzy spells that come and go. Overall, I have better grip of my own cravings. I feel like caving in during the first two days but day three and day four are game changers. You’d feel more motivated to see yourself through this ordeal. I hate that I’m still breaking out though. But my skin’s calming down a bit.

Fifth Day: I’m less hungry now than I was yesterday. I’m also more motivated to finish this shit since I’m halfway through. I think I may have lost significant weight, like maybe five pounds, and got skinnier arms and flatter tummy. Seeing my mug while I talk to my sister via Skype, I see that my facial features are sharp once again. So far, I’m getting the result that I expected. I plan to lose ten pounds at the least. The boyf and I decided to cut down the cleansing days to 9 instead of 10 because this diet is made for women who wanted to lose weight after pregnancy and we feel that it’ll be unhealthy to go all the way.