one queen, two princesses, & their jesters

Yeah yeah yeah, I know you’re probably sick of hearing about The Great Hospital Trip Of 2012, but there are a few random stories I want to share, and most importantly, I want to record them here so we’ll remember.

(Also, just an update because a few lovely people have asked over the past few days: Audrey is doing great! She had a bit of a rash last Friday and Saturday from the Augmentin. After a call to the pediatrician, we decided it was just a side effect rash, nothing to be worried about. It’s gone now, and thanks to some probiotic magic potions, her belly is doing a lot better too. And while the lump/infection isn’t gone yet, it’s steadily shrinking and her energy level is DEFINITELY BACK. She’s been in the best mood the past couple of days! So hooray for all of that.)

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The day after we were admitted and she’d had a few doses of IV antibiotics, Audrey was getting antsy and seemed to have a little more energy. She was puttering around the room, playing with random things. Somehow she ended up in my purse and found my lipgloss. She immediately took it to Dan and shoved it in his face, wanting him to open it. He denied her, of course. So she grabbed a nearby bag of potato chips, grunted, and threw them at his head.

She was definitely on the upswing.

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The girl is now officially traumatized by doctors and nurses and basically anyone who comes near her if we’re in a room that looks anything like an exam room. The lunch tray lady brought her food in and Audrey melted down. By Thursday morning, there were even whimpers and tears if there was so much as a rustle or a bump outside the closed door. Broke my heart.

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The sun came out for a bit (it was a rainy couple of days) so we took a break from being cooped up and headed down to the floor below where they have a garden/courtyard area. Audrey was able to run around a bit and she was in HEAVEN. And here is where she discovered automatic doors that open when you walk near them. Her life was CHANGED.

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When she’d had enough of being stuck in the room, she would point to the door and say ‘GO.’

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She slept surprisingly well both nights, but naptime was just okay. I expected her to crash for several hours on Wednesday afternoon, but she woke up after only an hour or so. Then she had another dose of medicine in her IV, and we left her in the crib, hoping she’d fall back to sleep. She never did, but she rested and just kind of laid around, watching Winnie The Pooh on the tv. Dan and I sat on the couch, zoned out on our computers/phone/whatever, just trying to keep busy and pass the time.

Eventually, Audrey decided Resting Time was over, and she stood up, staring at us like “HEY. I’M DONE OVER HERE.” and was rattling her sippy cup on the metal rails of the crib, just like a jail cell inmate. It made me giggle.

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Her IV drugs were scheduled every 6 hours or so, and it ended up that she had a dose at 2am both nights. The first night, we were ALL awake for it and it took a while for things to get settled back down. So imagine my surprise when I woke up on Thursday morning at 4am and didn’t remember anyone coming in. Did they… skip her meds? I was confused.

Turns out they have Ninja Nurses at Children’s Hospital and they gave her the medicine without waking ANY of us up. Awesome.

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When we finally got admitted, it was hours past our normal dinner time. I had brought snacks to our appointment but I only expected to be there a few hours, so the goldfish crackers and fruit snacks were long gone by then. Around 8pm, Audrey got her first patient food tray delivered, and I’m not even kidding when I say she was dancing with excitement.

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Wednesday afternoon, I left to pick Maggie up from preschool/daycare, get both of us some dinner, and grab more clothes and overnight things for all of us before Maggie was handed over to Dan’s parents for the night (GOD BLESS NEARBY GRANDPARENTS IS ALL I’M SAYING.) Dan texted me while Maggie and I were at dinner, asking where all the pacifiers were. When I left the hospital room, I SWEAR there were like four of them sitting on the tray table (both of my girls are/were Pacifier Hoarders when they sleep. It’s their Thing.) But he couldn’t find ANY.

Crap.

I realized had one in my purse, but obviously that didn’t do him any good at the moment. A few texts back and forth and finally he found ONE, on the floor, under the bed. ?? We still have no idea what happened to the other ones, but at least we had enough to get us through the night.

That’s not the funny part though. The funny part is hearing Dan describe the absolute SHIT FIT Audrey was having because she was ready for sleep and didn’t have her pacifiers. So she was running around in a circle, flapping her hands and shrieking. When he finally found one and washed it and handed it to her, she snuggled up with him and was out cold within 5 minutes.

The girl knows what she likes.

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Thursday morning we were given our discharge instructions and a prescription for another 10 days of antibiotics. We showered, packed up the room, and headed downstairs. We told a confused Audrey, “We’re going home!” She stared at us for a while, then as we were walking down the long corridor to the parking garage, she grinned at us, started waving her hand and saying, very quietly, ‘BYYYYYYEEE!’

(I like to think there was a ‘BITCHEZZZZ!’ at the end of that, but she was too polite or tired to actually say it.)

The stealth ninja nurses are where it’s AT. Towards the end of our stint with Iris’ RSV/pneumonia sleepover, T and I would be able to sleep through any time they reappeared in the room. Sad, but fabulous too.

God bless! I was thinking of you guys so much. Something like this gives you perspective, though, for better (in this case). We haven’t had to be admitted to Children’s (KNOCK ON WOOD), but we’ve had several visits. They are really, really good.