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Bad News: You can't punch while climbing ladders in Ninja Gaiden. Good News: We got Valentine's Day reservations for two tables at extra-romantic, already-totally-booked Foreign Cinema. The two dudes who send us the best sob stories about why they deserve a relationship-saving last-minute rez will get said tables.
Sure, you've still gotta pay for the meal, but at least it's better than having to defeat an evil cult led by a fictional descendant of Nostradamus trying to personally fulfill his ancestor's prophecy of the rise of an evil king in 1999.