The conference room
had gone quiet the moment Germany excused himself to search for that
useless Italy. Of course it wasn't usual for most of the nations to
sit there staring at one another in silence, but the noises coming
from the broom closet were more than enough to keep them silent.

"Maybe we should
continue with the meeting." England was the first to speak up, his
face a horrible blotchy red, eyes downcast on the table so as not to
openly show his embarrassment. And who wouldn't be embarrassed
about the situation? Aside from Russia, who had the usual
creepy-smile on his face, and Prussia, who was actually leaning his
chair back so he could hear the duo in the closet better.

"Adorable?"
Hungary piped up, camera in hand, and suddenly behind the German's
shoulder. "They're such a sweet duo, you know. I'm so glad for
them! And I do hope they look as cute as they act~"

More faces went red
around the table, and Austria sunk down further in his seat to avoid
the pointed stares from the other nations. Of course they expected
him to keep a leash on his ex-wife, but how was that even possible?
Had they tried living with Hungary for a day even? Hardly.

"God!"

The exclamation from
the broom closet caused the occupants of the room to jump, all eyes
turning toward the door. "What should we do, aru?" China piped
up, focusing on the door rather than the large Russian who seemed to
be moving ever-closer. "Should we let them know we can hear them?"

"Of course not,
that would ruin everything!" Prussia and Hungary seemed to be on
the same wavelength for once, for the two responded simultaneously
and returned their respective attentions back to the door.

"Oh England, why
are you so embarrassed?" France purred, finally taking notice of
the other nation's obvious discomfort. He seemed to take a lot of
pleasure in exposing it to the entire ensemble as well. "Isn't
that the same broom closet where I saw you and America last meeting?"

"No," America
cut in, unabashed, "that was Russia and Lithuania last meeting.
England and I were the one before that. Remember?"

England groaned and
let his head fall on folded arms. Why did he always have to be
surrounded by stupid nations? What did he do to deserve this? "Shut.
Up. I don't want to hear it."

"Um, shouldn't
we actually discuss some of the world's crises while we're here?"

The meek voice came
from Canada, sitting beside his overshadowing brother. Of course, no
one paid the slightest bit of attention to him.

"I believe we've
spent more than enough time discussing other's personal affairs.
Shall we reschedule the meeting to next week, then?" Japan asked,
retaining the polite air despite his obvious discomfort at the topic
of conversation.

"Next week?"
Korea whined, appearing from somewhere behind China, causing the
other nation to let out something between a squeak and a yelp. "But
then we'd have to travel all the way back here! And airplanes are
slow! Well, not mine of course, because they're the best, but
everyone else's!"

"Why don't we
meet somewhere else besides England for once? We're like, always
meeting here." Poland shrugged. He'd ended up on Lithuania's
lap while the rest weren't paying any attention, and was earning
himself the creepiest grin Russia could muster. Luckily for the blond
nation, he was impervious to the mighty Russia's Leer attack.

"Let's meet in
Austria! Then we can wreck his house." Prussia offered, snickering
at the aristocrat's expense, and ducking as Hungary swung the
frying pan at his head. Where she pulled it from was still a mystery
the other countries weren't eager to solve.

Suddenly the door
opened and Italy skipped out into the room, uniform askew. Germany
followed close behind, adjusting his collar but otherwise looking
completely pristine. The other countries merely stared. Someone
whispered, "Damn, they're fast," and it went to hell from
there.

"Bruder!
What was that? You're not supposed to have your first time in a
closet anyway, but more importantly, why didn't you take forever
and keep us in suspense? And he's supposed to be in pain
when you're done!" Prussia pointed over at the still
happy-looking Italy, who was now sitting next to his own brother, who
scooted away irritably.

"What?" Germany
stared at Prussia with an expression that clearly read
'Oh-so-wonderful brother, what exactly are you on this time?'

"Don't give me
that look!" Prussia poked Germany in the chest. "You. Had. Sex.
With. Him. In. That. Closet." He punctuated each word with another
poke, until Germany swatted his hands away. The older nation pouted,
looking for all the world like a spoiled child. Come to think of it,
he really did act like one too.

"I certainly
didn't. I don't know what you're talking about, bruder."

"Denying it?
That's even worse!"

"Ah, Germany, what
are you and Prussia fighting about now?" Italy asked fixing the two
with a big brown-eyed stare that screamed innocence. "Germany had
to help me get untangled from the mop in the broom closet—is that
what this is about? Sorry to hold up the meeting~"

The silence was
deafening. Russia dropped his pipe on the ground to break the
silence, and immediately the countries began expressing their relief
at the situation.

"Oh thank god. I
don't know what I'd do if they'd actually been having sex in
there."

"I can't believe
it! It sounded like sex."

"Aru, what a
relief…"

"Now that the
broom closet is free, would you like to become one again,
Lithuania?"

"Ah, uh, no
thanks…"

"Like, keep your
hands off my man!"

Finally the meeting
got underway, everything back to what passed as normal for the
countries.

It was only as they
were leaving that Italy slid up to Germany's side. "Ah, Germany,
we're not going to tell them, are we?"