Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Post-Electoral Hangover

Pardon me, I'm a little Schiavo this morning...I'm not sure about the last time I worked a 15-hour day, but I bet I hated it just as much as yesterday. And I bet I hated it just as much as I do the Jews.

It's a good day to be a registered Democrat. But, really, can you get truly excited about the prospect of Nany Pelosi and Harry Reid running the show in the House and Senate? Pelosi looks like either The Joker or Joe Randa and sounds like Daryl Hannah's shrieking in Splash, and Reid has all the charisma and charm of a high school principal with the conviction and character of a door-to-door knife salesman. I'm all for optimism, but it may get worse before it gets better.

Since coherent thought is a stretch for me right now, here are a couple more bullet-pointed notes about the election...

--The American electorate may have voted them bums out, but that questionably scary brand of social conservatism is alive and well in this country. Just check out some of the ballot initiatives that passed and failed last night: English as Official Language in Arizona passed by a 3:1 margin (along with AZ's three other anti-illegal immigrant proposals), same-sex marriage was banned in seven of eight states, Michigan by a healthy margin restricted affirmative action, Missouri just barely passed an amendment to protect stem cell research, and voters shot down all three pro-marijuana measures. Maybe the stoners just forgot to come out and vote. Heyyyyo, pot humor!

The bright side of the ballot initiatives? South Dakotans voted to overturn the law banning all abortions in the state (including the awesome rape and incest kind), Arizona became the first state to ever beat back a ban on gay marriage, all six states passed their higher minimum wage proposals and nine "Say No to Eminent Domain" states bravely told the government to fuck off and get their own land.

--I give much of the credit for this Democratic victory to Rep. Rahm Emanuel, head of the DCCC and former Clinton finance geek. The man with the plan like Verbal Kint, he helped the Dems be more cohesive than ever, more on message than ever, more prepared than ever, and they fought for every district. I'm a big fan of Emanuel's, and it's not just because his brother Ari was the basis for Jeremy Piven's Ari Gold character in Entourage (true story). Look out for Rahm, he's gonna be big time...I once interviewed him and he sounded dreamy.

--I walked in to my apartment just before 11 to catch The Daily Show/ Colbert Report Midterm Midtacular, thankfully. Not only was the level of hilarity even higher than you'd expect from Jonny Stew and Stevie C, but Dan Rather dropped by to add some serious newsy legitimacy to the comedic proceedings (I'll leave out the obvious "Rather's a pro at fake news" joke). I'll tell you, watching Stewart put Rather in stitches following his part-Droopy, part-Lieberman imitation was worth the price of admission, and that price was free, so there that is. If you missed it, try tuning into some clips here.

That's it. I'm tapped. Wanna talk election? Do it below.

Slack Quotation of the Day: While Stewart commanded the laughs much better than Colbert, Stevie did orate the line of the night: "Tomorrow, you're all gonna wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags...where tax and spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high!"

Slack Link of the Day: The election may be over, but here's a cool electioral story from NPR you gotta listen to: "Melissa Block talks with voice-over artists Dennis Steele and Scott Sanders about how to make a threatening voice for a political ad." Damn, that's good.

Slack Video of the Day: Any time there's an election in this country, I turn to one of this country's smartest pundits...because nobody tells it like it is better than George Carlin.

Slack Song of the Day: I caught a band called Bump open for U-Melt last April, and they were well above everyone's expectations. Turns out after talking to someone in their management, they were even down a member that night. But they put on a great show, and I've continued to throw my support behind them. Check 'em out if they ever hit your area...for a free sample, here's Fat Ass, Motorland and the Talking Heads' Life During Wartime from 12/18/04.