Meet The Unluckiest Woman On The Internet, And Prepare To Laugh Your Butt Off

Written by Providr Contributor

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Over the course of our lives, we’ve all had silly misfortunes occur within the shower curtains. From soap in your eyes to abrupt slips, for many, the shower has been a place for accidents waiting to happen. In what should be a space for relaxation and warmth, it has often times become anything but that.

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Meet the unluckiest woman on the internet, who has the online world in a hysteria of laughter, after the misfortunes that she endured within her shower. Going by the username FlyingPigSquadron, this Reddit user exploited the mishaps that are as funny as her handle.

The Scottish woman’s series of accidents began when she was innocently washing her long and curly hair on an ordinary day. Upon finishing shampooing and beginning to rinse, she flipped her hair over her shoulder, and suddenly felt something brush against the top of her “bum”. Instinctively, she “came to the one and only possible conclusion. Spider.” Understandably going into a frenzy of screams, she attempted to “flee the shower stall”, when she naturally went into the splits. With very minimal space in her bathroom, her foot came into contact with the toilet pedestal, where her body was then launched back along the floor towards the shower.

To her surprise, the shower door met her face, and the injuries ensued. “A sprained ankle, a fractured ankle, two broken toes, a beautiful rainbow of bruises in some interest places” was the result of her trip to the A&E. She was given a wheelchair to get around with, however, that was not very ideal for the stairs at her flat, so she decided to stay with her parents. Bouncing off the walls with her new wheels, she went to annoy her younger brother, who ended up having the last laugh. “Do a wheelie”, he suggested. Inevitably, the injuries piled on, and she cracked her head on the fireplace, leading to another visit to the A&E.

For this injury prone, wheelchair-ridden woman, unfortunately, this wasn’t her first rodeo. With the internet captivated by this anecdote she shared and the demand for more, she decided to let the world in on some more.

Upon finishing high school, she went away on a trip to the Canary Islands with her friends. Near the end of the trip, when funds were low, they decided to gather some groceries to cook. Upon trying to open a tightly shut freezer, she caught another blow to the head by an uncooperative freezer door, leading to some embarrassing swelling, and a visit to the hospital. She was prescribed painkillers by the doctor, which ended up being questionable, as it wiped her memory clean after popping two on the way home. Singing her way home, and claiming to be part animal, she ended up in bed the next morning, fully clothed, with daisies placed between her toes.

Needless to say, for this unlucky woman, there was an accident waiting to happen at every corner. Hopefully, this humorous anecdote will serve as a guideline to the potential hazards that await in even the friendliest areas of your home.

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