This Argentine Call on Ángel di María’s Goal Was a Thing of Beauty

Soccer broadcasting in America has improved leaps and bounds since in the last few years. NBC Sports’ English Premier League broadcasts are first rate, and ESPN and Univision do an amazing job with the World Cup.

While commentary on American TV is very high quality, it is nowhere near as passionate as in Argentina. Just listen to this call for Ángel di María’s game-winning goal against Switzerland.

Let’s break it down:

He starts by praising di María, saying that he is moved emotionally whenever he sees him play. “When everyone else has given up, he keeps believing.” He then says that “this game is like a dagger in the hearts of all Argentines.”

Then the goal comes. Cue the extended goooooooooooooool!!!

Now for the good part. He reiterates that di María moves him emotionally. Except now he lovingly calls him a pendejo. Then he addresses di María directly “You don’t play soccer! You’re in a war di María! You come from a neighborhood where you had to fight for everything!”

Now it’s Messi’s turn: “Messi, which Playstation did you come from?”

“I told you it had to be di María with the goal. He deserved it! I told you!”

“We don’t deserve to die here in front of 50,000 Brazilians! We will not die here! Will NOT die here! We will fight in the shade if their arrows block out the sun! Just like Leonidas said!”

“We are Argentina! We have history!”

“Lionel escaped! He escaped from the PlayStation! He passed it to di María! And the skinny one down the right! The skinny one down the right!”

Then some choice words for Swiss goalkeeper Benaglio: “Go work in a bank Benaglio! Go work in a bank Benaglio! Give me a 4% loan Benaglio!”