Category Archives: Clutter

Just last week, I was making wishes for space I’d like to create.In that post I said, “My initial response, first thought, immediate wish as I sit at my cluttered mess of a writing desk is to create space here, space for creating, contemplating, practicing. I wish to clean, clear, and organize, to get rid of what doesn’t belong here, what isn’t serving or inspiring me.” For the past few days, I’ve been working on manifesting that wish.

1. Truth: It’s hard to start. At first it feels too overwhelming, there’s too much stuff and too little time. It’s hard to know where to even begin when my space looks like an advertisement for an episode of Hoarders. But I think the Jeff Oak’s quote I shared on my Something Good list yesterday is what finally happened for me: “Breathe until the feeling of being buried brings the need to break open.”

2. Truth: In the end, you just have to start. I knew I couldn’t work in the chaos, so my first act was to take all the things on or around my writing desk and move them into the garage, clean the slate. A few required a quick sort before I could move them, but once that space was cleared, once I got started, I could move around, had a better sense of a plan.

I know this from just about every project or task I’ve ever undertaken — I just have to start, do one small thing, take one tiny step, keeping my focus on the thing directly in front of me, fully present for the doing. When I get close to done with this, the next step is clear, there is a natural progression.

3. Truth: When it comes to sorting and getting rid, editing, two questions are helpful:

Is this useful? is this supporting the work I’m trying to do, how I want to live? Is it functional and workable, related to my goals and values?

Is this beautiful? Does it inspire and encourage me, give me joy and ease simply by being present? Is it precious?

Anything that doesn’t fall into either of these two categories, utility or beauty, has to go — donated, gifted, recycled, or trashed.

One Wish: That we all can have spaces where we have easy access to the tools and support we need to do our work, to live our lives, and that these spaces inspire us, fill us with joy and good energy and a sense of peace.

The present moment is your ally: We might ask, “Given my present situation, how long should I stay with uncomfortable feelings?” This is a good question, yet there is no right answer. We simply get accustomed to coming back to the present just as it is for a second, for a minute, for an hour—whatever is currently natural—without its becoming an endurance trial. Just pausing for two to three breaths is a perfect way to stay present. This is a good use of our life. Indeed, it is an excellent, joyful use of our life. Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, we can learn to accept the present moment as if we had invited it, and work with it instead of against it, making it our ally rather than our enemy.

I tell my retreat students that having a practice they do everyday is important. It doesn’t matter what it is. Meditating, gardening, writing, walking, feeding birds. What matters is that you pay attention. What matters is that you have the intention to show up for yourself and have the chance, on a daily level, to ground yourself in the you that isn’t caught up in the emails, errands, natterings. It’s a way you get to be loyal to what matters to you. A promise you make to yourself that this day can also be for you.

And a really cool video of her feeding hummingbirds,

And this,

When I am willing to question and therefore feel whatever is there–hatred (that’s a big one!), anger, sadness–with tenderness and curiosity, the feelings relax because they are met with kindness and openness instead of resistance and rejection. The hard part is that I have to be willing to tolerate discomfort for a moment. Or three.

Think about what it’s like for you to be met by someone else with kindness. And then think about being met with rejection. It’s such a difference. Think about what you would give to a child who is hurting. And then take a leap. Be as loving to yourself as you would be to a child. As you would be to anyone you love who needs your attention. Over and over, this is the practice. A fierce kind of love. An unwillingness to devolve into pushing and blaming. It starts with you, now.

5. From Sakyong Mipham, “We want to infuse our day with good habits so that we can turn seemingly mundane situations into a ceremony of goodness,” and “In order to be brave, we must trust that underneath it all, there is sanity and openness.”

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

The process of awakening is a movement towards the real. In order for this to occur, the false will unavoidably have to be deconstructed. This is never easy. What is easy or hard to deal with is intimately related to what it is that is going away. Oftentimes, you believe that the walls that are falling apart are the walls of your house but, in truth, they are the walls of a prison cell.