Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Moron Mail

Often you will see a letter to the editor that - while it does drip with stupidity - is so devoid of substance, that it is the rhetorical equivalent of a fart. Not just any fart, mind you. It's a lot like one of those super-airy movie theater popcorn farts. The letter's very presence on the editorial page of a large-circulation daily forces one to wonder what exact mental defect caused the editor to think that such a letter's slobbering simplicity would somehow enrich the public discourse.

On Oct. 29, 2004, Minnesota Vikings had a 5-1 record. Head Coach Mike Tice was on top of the world, feeling confident, virile; no one could touch him.

That day in Minneapolis he introduced President Bush and presented him with a personalized Vikings jersey with the number 1 on the back.

Since then, the Vikings have gone 4-10.

Coincidence or curse? Vikings fans, you be the judge.

K. J0hn Br@dl3y, Minneapolis.

One can almost smell sense the writer's smug satisfaction of his own cleverness.

Except that it's not clever. The "Bush curse" is a trope that's been circulating ever since the Vikings' first loss following Bush's meeting with Tice.

And it's hardly original (which is a prerequisite to being "clever"). None other than the Strib's resident non-simian proclaimed the curse last February (column has been removed from the archives, but you can find the fully fisked version here):

Keep your nose out of politics. Your predecessor made every Democrat football fan in Minnesota swear a blue streak when Coach Mike Tice presented a Vikings jersey to the Republican president at the height of last fall's election campaign. Bad timing: The team tanked after that, the state wound up in the Democratic column and Moss mooned Green Bay.I'm sorry, but if you are coming up with some "witty observation" 8 months after the Nonmonkey (not exactly a rocket surgeon) poopered out the same lame joke himself, you have the mental acuity of a fart.

Oh, and by the way: the status of the "Bush curse" qua curse, all depends on your perspective. For example, if you are a Packer fan like me Obnoxious Packer Guy, the tanking of the Vikings is more like a blessing.

One more thing. George Bush doesn't seem to have a deleterious effect on other football teams. For example:

The New England Patriots won the Super Bowl in 2004.

As per custom, President Bush invited the Pats to the White House, and met with them.