Finding the Green within the Grey

Choosing Connection

Last night I was stressed, trying to decide if I should go to the high school social media talk for parents, the K-8 school talk on why failure is good for kids, or with my teen to get a book on launch day. I was making dinner and helping the tween with homework. The tween yelled at me, I yelled back. She cried. I held her. I apologized. I decided to be with my teen, tween and husband instead of choosing activities at my kids’ schools.

I wanted to go to outside activities to learn how to parent my children better. The failure/girt talk is (exactly) a topic I am currently researching for work. I also wanted to make dinner in peace, not be conflicted about how to best help my tween with her homework and to know which activity to choose.

But when I lost my cool I knew there was no other choice to make. Slow down, be with my family.

I sound annoying. But I’m writing here every day this month so maybe I’ll just write about what consumes my brain. I want to connect with my family well. I want to learn about social media and failure/grit, too. But I can’t do it all.

I overthink everything.

But as my kids grow ever closer to growing up, it’s suddenly easier to choose spending time with them over everything else.

So we drove to the bookstore downtown and the teen bought a graphic novel on launch day, explaining to me how the artist did fan art for the author’s other books. Then the author took notice and asked this artist to illustrate her new graphic novel. Ah, cool.

Then the parking attendant gave us free parking so the teen avoided using her money to pay for parking.

And the teen told me about the 2-hour social media presentation at school. I heard about the presenter almost cried because he had been bullied. How he had them turn some stuff off on their phone. How my explanation of sexting didn’t make sense because they call it “sharing nudes.” Or something like that.

But those windows of time when my teen tells me what’s important to her? They are small windows of time. Later in the evening, my whole family ended up in our bedroom. I talked to one of my teen’s friends while they studied for biology on Face Time. My husband told us about what he was reading. I didn’t think about how my tween taught me about grit while we struggled through helping her learn how to learn. But I’ll mention it now.

I’m grateful to the speakers whose talks I missed last night. And I’m thankful for all the connection that happened with my family last night. That’s what I’m thinking about right now.

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Nancy Schatz Alton

I used to ride the playground ponies — painted metal creature swings behind my childhood home — and dream of a book with my name on it: Nancy Schatz. Years later, I walked that same playground and young girl asked me my age. Maybe I was 19. Shocked, she asked if I was married. Nope, not yet, I laughed in reply.

Now I’m married and my body’s pretty close to being 50 years old. My first dream came true with one minor adjustment. The name on the cover of those books is “Nancy Schatz Alton.” I think it took writing these two holistic healthcare guides — The Healthy Back Book and The Healthy Knees Book — to believe I really am a writer. But I’ve been a writer before I could pencil the alphabet on the itchy lined paper in Kindergarten. It’s just who I am.

I wear many other definitions. I’m lucky enough to be a mom to a teenager and a tween. I’m a freelance writer, editor and writing teacher and coach, too. I’m a baker and a short-order cook, an off-key singer and car dancer. I’m a former long distance runner, an avid reader and a lover of color. I’m also a spy, because writers are spies, right?

This blog was born a few years ago when I finally got tired of denying myself the privilege of having a blog. I love sharing my words, and if these thoughts can help someone else, even better. As this blog has evolved, some of what I have written is part of a memoir manuscript entitled “But Still and Yet: Navigating the Learning Differences World with My Daughter.” That’s the tale of being and becoming a mother. No, it’s not the story of my first child’s birth and how I stepped into this new role, although there are many fine books about this very topic. This memoir is about learning to embrace the idea that life doesn’t always get to be easy for our offspring. If you aren’t a parent, the journey I take is the same journey all humans take during this lifetime. This memoir answers this question: how do we crack ourselves open to become our best possible selves?

Boom. Enjoy my blog. Say hello via a comment if you have can. And Welcome to Within The Words, Finding the Green within the Grey,.

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