We told you Australia had bottomed out. Logic has penetrated their camp and infected a handful of people. We’re worried it might spread.

First of all, Ed Cowan comes into the side (or “Cricket With Balls’ own Eddie Cowan” as Jarrod would have us refer to him). He replaces Phillip Hughes, meaning Australia have added a batsman to their team. Cowan’s season has therefore been as successful as his book about last season. This contrasts sharply with the man we always thought would be opening for Australia around this point in time.

Phil Jaques has only played two matches for New South Wales this season. Triple back surgery rather stalled his career and he’s never really got back to playing how he once did. Even worse, he’s now suffered the ignominy of having hit an eye-catching fifty in the Big Bash. And he’ll be turning out for Yorkshire next year, the poor sod.

Another with back problems is Shaun Marsh. He returns to the Australia squad as well, which is eminently sensible, because Shaun Marsh is ace. They are talking about not picking him however, which is reassuring. Maybe someone will develop an antidote to logic that can be used before too many people are afflicted.

6 Appeals

But you are right as usual. Hughes, Johnson, Doherty, Clarke – these were all huge fun, but it could never last. Sooner or later CA would realise that selecting comedy characters for the test team might be well received in England and New Zealand, but wouldn’t ensure a sustained challenge for major honours. Ah well.

What we need is a series of almost-good-enough-to-play-test-cricket-but-not-quite players. You know the ones, brimful of “talent” and “potential”, but somehow unable to average more than (or less than, depending on their job) 35. You know, Graham Hick. These are the players that can stick around in the team, preventing both success and anyone else getting in instead, because there is always something about them that keeps them in the team. I have hopes for Warner, although he might turn out to be a good player, and maybe one of the set of 12 year old fast bowlers they’ve been picking.