Margiela for H&M: Foiled Again!

Okay, so I know we already talked about America’s Next Top Model, or as I like to call it, “This is not America’s. Top. Best. FRIEEEEND!” I happened to catch the finale episode the other day, though, because my brain was so fried from running around with armloads of clothes for ten hours that I didn’t think to change the channel. At first I thought I was watching one of those low budget psychic shows on cable because of the cheap eerie visual effects, but it turns out that they were trying to tie in their big runway show at a famously haunted mansion in Jamaica. In keeping with this ghostly theme, Smashbox artists made up the models to look like they’d all been hit in the face with a bag of flour. It’s probably a coincidence that PR maven Kelly Cutrone and stylist Johnny Wujek both seemed to have personalities on par with a bag of flour, but it might just be genius casting. Or maybe bags of flour are trending right now and I just didn’t know it.

The best part was when Cutrone picked a bitch fight with a photographer in the middle of a shoot and then stormed off acting like she’d never been so insulted. The model ended up a hot, tear-streaked mess but the photographer was awesome, calmly clicking pictures through the entire fracas. I don’t even know who ended up winning the season because I was distracted by the realization that I had watched an entire hour-long episode of a competition judged by a queeny Filipino fashion blogger wearing a veil over his knitted ski cap. I really need to get my shit together.

America’s Next Top Model: Not styled by Margiela.

Anyway, Maison Martin Margiela’s capsule collection for H&M looks pretty cool. I was just chatting with a couple of clients the other day about the lack of easy, deconstructed pieces that we could really use in L.A. and the Margiela thing seemed like it might do the trick. I was reminded of my first visit to the Lanvin boutique last spring when I was faced with all these fabulously easy, drapey jersey frocks and tunics that were perfect for my Malibu ladies who don’t give a shit what the price is, they just want to look great and be comfortable.

As you’d expect, the H&M stuff would be pennies in comparison. The H&M website said they’re offering a red draped tunic-dress for only $199, an oversized turtleneck for only $149 and a pair of leather tights for $349. Apparently, each piece also comes with a tag that indicates which Margiela season inspired it. I was less impressed with the men’s assortment but there were a few items that looked interesting enough to try on and, even though the capsule arrived in stores almost a week ago, I read somewhere that it still wasn’t sold out. In other words, it wasn’t a repeat of the Missoni for Target fiasco where people waited in line all night then grabbed all the cheap zigzag decorated crap they could and put it on EBay by 9am.

On my first semi-free day in ages, after the gym, the nutrition store and the car wash, I wandered over to Hollywood and Highland where our nearest H&M is located to see what was up. It’s difficult to tell exactly what they have at this H&M because it’s all crammed onto racks and piled into the walls and you see everything at once. They had David Beckham’s underwear, thousands of t-shirts and a bunch of semi-Goth stuff that would fit better in Hot Topic. What I didn’t see, though, was anything that resembled a Maison Martin Margiela piece. It looks like I was too late again. I hadn’t planned on buying anything but maybe it was now time to admit to myself that this off-price game just isn’t my thing. Luckily, there’s always Barneys.

TRICK OR TWEET

Just learned the hard, deeply embarrassing way that wiggling your fingers in a down-came-the-rain motion from Eensie Weensie Spider is NOT improvised international sign language for "Is it still raining outside?"

So hard for me as an American in Vietnam to resist beginning every conversation with, "Terribly sorry for what we did. It was horrific, a tragic mistake. So, I'll start with the Mién hài sàn, then as a main course..."

Thai driver: "You both have beautiful color eyes. But can you see clearly with them like we do? If I show you to my nephew he think you are vampires from Twilight movie." It's not racism if you're compared to undead emo adolescents with potentially murky vision.

Let's face it, Western food is cowardly with flavors and boring, even at its most "gourmet" pretentious. Imagine if a Thai or Vietnamese tire company gave out coveted, make-or-break stars. Would any restaurant west of the Khyber Pass get one? #culturalimperialism