xalres:Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

xalres:Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

Wow. That was really, really bad. I'm certainly not going to introduce the author to people I know, lest he screw them up. With his arrogance, and hist 'wit', and his boisterous, frat-boy verbal violence, and his overreach, both in style and in the length of the piece, and his use of capitals. Man, I want those minutes of my life back more than anything. Rot in hell, subby, for thinking this was a funny find.

Stupidly overdone rant even as "satire" - check. Valid issue though? Also check. This is pretty much akin to someone rolling up all your sandwich meat, sticking it on one side, doing the same with some lettuce on the other side, and pouring half-inch deep dots of each condiment in various random locations. Do people do that shiat sometimes, at least with the condiments? Yeah. Does that make it good or something your should put up with? Not really, no.

/You aren't a dipshiat for wanting your food made at least vaguely properly, fast food or not. The more you let people get away with serving it like that, the more they'll do it.//You ARE a dumbass if you go berserk aggro about it - even if you're trying to poke fun.///You've gone full dumbass if you try the old "but there are horrible things going on in the world, why are you worried about X OMGZ??" shtick. In that case, because Syria please let all standards lapse immediately. You probably bought the "starving children in Africa" line when you were a kid with your veggies, didn't you?

skinink:So instead of bringing this to the manager's attention so that the behavior can either be corrected or the burrito maker replaced, you blog about it? I'm more pissed at the people who just let the bad behavior continue.

All that is necessary for evil to flourish is for good men to remain silent.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder. It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.

Unlike Syria, this guy is focusing on something he can control. There is no point about getting crazy about something you have no control over, like say a meteor falling on your car, or a bunch of Germans having a baby-tossing contest. But something within your power to effect is understandable, like the guy forgetting to put your lugnuts back on after a brakejob, or Starbucks only filling your coffee cup up halfway.

Even though the blog was a work of comedy and fiction (?) it's not too much to ask that your food gets made correctly. I'm not talking about "Wah! It doesn't look the advertisment with the perfect layers of lettuce and tomato and the steaming fries and bubbling coke." I'm talking about shiat just being made the way it's generally supposed to.If you advertise a super bacon heart killer buger that's got 3 strips of bacon on the bottom, a big ass meat patty, 3 more strips of bacon, and 2 slices of cheese, then I should get those things in pretty much that order. If the bacon is really small slices and fried to a consitancy of chalk that's understandable. If I get two slices of bacon, the burger halway out of the bun, and a slice of cheese in the bag next to the wrapped up burger, that is not. That's not minimum wage's worth of service, that's just plain farking lazy.

Things I have personaly seen or been served.A Big Mac, that starting from the bottom, went meat, bun, bun,meat, bun. How hard its that to fark up? What worker, who upon holding the newly assembled abortion of a burger before wrapping says "Eh, close enough."

McD's 'premium' chicken sandwich with no chicken. Just the bread, mayo, a tomato, some lettuce, and thats it. You would think that chicken would be the most important ingredient in a chicken sandwich. But apparently not.

A cheeseburger with extra pickles and onion. I got it with no beef. Just a veggie Goddamn sandwich. It wasn't entered wrong, I checked the reciept. It was a cheese burger where they just arbitrarily left off the cheese and the burger.

I ordered a 8 piece nugget from BK. I got a nugget box, but inside was a single sasuage patty. WTF? I could understand getting chicken fries instead due to incompetence, but a sasuage patty? Who mistakes 1 sasuage for 8 nuggets? Worse was that it was 4pm, and breafast hadn't been for 5 hours. There shouldnt' even have been any sasuages lying around.

A chicken sandwich, hold the tomato. Tomato was placed on top of the sandwich. Like they were told not to put it in there, and then they had no idea of what to do with it.

Many times I've had minor errors where I asked for cheese and didn't get any, or failed to get an item that I had paid for, but that I can understand. But when you make the same damn sandwich 800 times a day, you think you'd have it down.

Just thought I'd stop by and answer some of the speculation. Here goes:

I am super fat.

Like morbidly.

Like on a scooter fat.

Also: That headline attached to this isn't mine. I said nothing about labor laws or wages or any of that nonsense.

What I did was tried to write something funny. Not as a commentary on anything other than that disgusting bite of sour cream you all take every now and then. It's open for debate whether or not I succeeded in being funny, but let me save you the trouble:

67 percent of redditors liked it.

So it's a D+.

Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, and you had to suffer through my "Is this joke even going to graduate?" writing.

But I'm willing to work at it, so how about any of you who feel so strongly about how much I suck at this go grab the funniest thing you have ever written or done, and we'll stack it against this horrible joke anywhere you want online and see which does better.