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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

A (very) little detour.

You may have noticed I haven't been blogging much…you see, I have had a BIG SECRET, and I am terrible at not spilling the beans! The week prior to Thanksgiving Ryan and I got the news that we are pregnant! We had decided at the end of October to try and see if we could have a kid-o prior to the end of 2014, and if we could, then we would. If not we would wait until after the 2016 Olympic Trials Marathon. Well we got pregnant right away! So now my real training is on hold until after the little one arrives!

pic of what our lil one might look like LOL!!

My knee jerk reaction, was "Woah, what did I get myself into?" But as time has passed I have embraced the idea and I look forward to meeting our wee tot, when it arrives. At the risk of sounding terrible I will tell the truth, I do NOT enjoy anything about being pregnant so far. I have been pretty sick, really tired, and have this taste of metal in my mouth constantly that makes me hate all food, and feel nauseous. Watching my fitness, that I was very excited to have this winter, slowly dwindle, has been less than exciting as well. The day I found out, I had a track workout and I didn't want to tell people because I knew it was too early. A fellow athlete said to me, "I am really excited to see what you can do this spring, you are really fit. You are going to run fast". I held back tears at the thought of not being able to capitalize on all of this fitness I had worked so hard to gain. People feel the need to tell you what they think even if it is a matter of opinion and goes against mine altogether. I like advice and I am grateful for little tidbits people have to offer. But when we decide that one kid is enough for us, being told we are wrong, and should have more makes me quite angry. I don't have to nor should I be made to feel like your choice in having 3 kids vs. one is better than mine. I am also not cool with breast feeding. I like the idea of pumping so the lil one gets breast milk, but just not directly from me. It makes me uncomfortable, and the thought of it is very ball and chain like, so I am choosing to do things differently. I have had some great advice given to me from non judgmental standpoints and it has been more than welcomed and a huge help! It will be tough, but as far as running goes, I know it will come back next year and I know that not being abel to race or workout the way I would like to will only make me hungrier for 2015 and 2016. A little fire being fanned can never hurt!

We are looking at a due date in the last week of July, and I am excited to be through the first trimester! I heard its little hamster heartbeat for the first time today and we have our first ultrasound on Wednesday next week to get a little better glimpse of what to expect. Fingers crossed everything keeps going smoothly! I am already anxious to get back to racing in the fall next year. But for now I am trying to enjoy the little detour!