Out of control odd rare old man (or possibly an hobbyist). -- Label by The Big R.
The 6s of 1st John:
2:6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus walked
3:6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning

Fainn, I have struggled with some severe depression for years. I still must be careful and aware enough to avoid it. Even right now, I'm having to check myself again lately, before things get out of control. "They" can't help you unless you also help you. I'm not a psychologist, but I am a veteran of depression. Please hear me. You MUST stop talking and thinking like you have been. Please. You will not overcome this if you continue to tell yourself these things, OK?

A large component of depression is fundamentally irrational thinking about certain things. One must guard their mind against those thoughts and not give them ANY entertainment. The moment they enter your mind, you must dismiss them and think and speak rightly about them instead.

This thread is in the theology section. Some of my own depression has been due to my religious perspective and experiences. I have at different points in my life, been able in various ways, to find a degree of comfort in good faith and/or in the natural goodness of creation to help me overcome the darkness of depression. But like you, I have often fought certain perceptions I have had about God, namely, is God good? I was wounded early on by people who should have been trustworthy, but weren't, this carries over into my perceptions about God. The second is the gift of faith, faith is hard if the goodness of God is doubted. I have even found comfort in atheism, because it allowed me to do away with a destructive and faulty belief about God's goodness and faith which was personally destructive to me at times. But having also experienced faith and God's goodness too, I may have to admit that perhaps such a "solution" isn't true and therefore also potentially self destructive because an impasse is created between my true values and a system of beliefs that are lacking certain important pillars in my life. So what I'm saying is, perhaps those of us here who are fighting our demons, need to start with the twin pillars of God's goodness and his worthiness to place our faith in Him. The former starts with rational thinking, the latter can take us beyond our own understanding and provide us peace and joy. Think about it. I am.

It’s almost believable, but I love it most of the time whether it’s true or not.

There is no shame in medicating depression with a doctor's supervision.

Been on medication for over a year. It doesn't work.

Do you want it to work?

You ready to change something to make it work?

Depending on the severity of his depression, he may not. Being depressed doesn't always equal "want" for something better. The "want" may need development first and that isn't an easy task under those circumstances. Medication should help coupled with thearapy. In my opinion, it takes more than one kind of help to overcome severe depression. I have done it successfully for myself and can only share my experience in hopes to be of help.

It’s almost believable, but I love it most of the time whether it’s true or not.

There is no shame in medicating depression with a doctor's supervision.

Been on medication for over a year. It doesn't work.

Do you want it to work?

You ready to change something to make it work?

Depending on the severity of his depression, he may not. Being depressed doesn't always equal "want" for something better. The "want" may need development first and that isn't an easy task under those circumstances. Medication should help coupled with thearapy. In my opinion, it takes more than one kind of help to overcome severe depression. I have done it successfully for myself and can only share my experience in hopes to be of help.

Psalm 34 Of David. When he pretended to be insane before Abimelek, who drove him away, and he left. wrote:1 I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
2 I will glory in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.

I know I've mentioned it before, but his is one of my go to passages when hitting tough times. Like that time I was losing my job and then almost died a couple times. Turns out this psalm that says stuff like "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." was penned by David at a particularly low point. And it turns out that psalm is an acrostic. Each verse starts with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet (so they tell me, you can verify and let me know if that's true.) Anyway, to me, that says that David was making a choice in the midst of some difficult times to praise God and seek him. He probably didn't feel like, but he made an intentional decision to do something like "well, I'm just going to go through the alphabet and write something down about God's love..." At least that's how I imagine it.

Praying for you, Fainn.

Praying - coco
Sometimes memes can be helpful as well as humorous - Jocose
Yer mom is kindhearted and well respected in her community - JMG

There is no shame in medicating depression with a doctor's supervision.

Been on medication for over a year. It doesn't work.

Do you want it to work?

You ready to change something to make it work?

Depending on the severity of his depression, he may not. Being depressed doesn't always equal "want" for something better. The "want" may need development first and that isn't an easy task under those circumstances. Medication should help coupled with thearapy. In my opinion, it takes more than one kind of help to overcome severe depression. I have done it successfully for myself and can only share my experience in hopes to be of help.

I feel like only G-d can help me, but I think he's rejected me.

You may feel that way. But is it true? Why does God reject people?

It’s almost believable, but I love it most of the time whether it’s true or not.