1)Theme: How we
have been evolving from a Cemetery Committee to a Chevra Kadisha

2)History

a)Temple Israel is
the dominant Jewish force in Tallahassee, a Reform Congregation of about 360
families and about 60+ years old.

b)There was a
minimal Jewish community in the 1800s, but it was successful in acquiring a
Jewish Section in the municipal cemetery of its day, now known as The Old City
Cemetery.Our Rabbi Emeritus
Stanley Garfein and I recently toured those gravesites.

i)That small group
eventually formalized their structure into “Jewish community, Inc.” in the
late 1930’s, eventually became “K.K. Bene Israel” (Holy Congregation of
the Children of Israel), and then became our Temple Israel.

ii)Hence, we really
can trace the Chevra Kadisha concept in Tallahassee back to the mid to late
1800’s.

c)Not long after
the congregation was founded, the congregation realized that the only way there
was going to be sacred Jewish burial land in Tallahassee was if the Temple
bought, developed, and managed Jewish cemeteries.The Old City cemetery was full.The
Chevra concept was sort of dormant.The
City of Tallahassee had developed five new cemeteries, and the congregation went
before the City Commission twice to acquire permission to purchase 200-250
contiguous spaces in each of two of the city cemeteries to resell to the Jewish
community and to operate as sacred Jewish burial land as we interpreted the
Reform tradition.A past president
of the Temple, Kurt Goldsmith, Z”L, volunteered as the Cemetery Administrator
for 22 years.Basically we bought
spaces from the city, resold them at higher prices to cover costs, other needs,
and future purchases, and we relied on the skill and sensitivity of a
multi-faith SCI funeral home to assist with the basic Jewish rituals.This consisted of stocking the kosher casket, applying tachrichim, and
helping with supplies, such as kippot, k’riah ribbons, and programs with the
23rd Psalm.The
community, dominated by Reform traditions, had not demanded tohora or shomrim;
its occasional request was handled by volunteers involved with that funeral.

3)Modern Evolution
Begins about 1986

a)Kurt retires as
Cemetery Committee Chair and essentially its sole member; I volunteer to train
as his replacement.He had focused
on the land management only.

b)I became
fascinated by the myriad of mitzvah opportunities available by being with
colleagues in the Jewish community, members and non-members, at very significant
times in their lives, or, as Rabbi Richie Address says, “at the spiritual
moments.”

i)I took hospice
training and became an early certified hospice volunteer in Tallahassee.

ii)I took the
Florida State University School of Nursing Course in the Dynamics of Death on
the Patient and the Family

iii)I began to read
voraciously on end-of-life care and bereavement assistance with an emphasis on
our tradition.

iv)I recruited one
other regular member of the Cemetery Committee

v)Both members of
the committee, and recently one other ad hoc member, lead by my efforts,
officiate at funerals and memorial dedications when the rabbi is not available.The congregation and community has gotten the understanding that ordained
clergy is not always necessary.

vi)We negotiated
and developed our third cemetery, which is about one-eighth sold in just a few
years.

4)For the 30 years
that our Rabbi Emeritus Stanley Garfein held our pulpit, starting in the late
1960’s, he included sermons on funerals, burials, bereavement, ethical wills,
encouraged k’riah, and inspired me on the pathway of this mitzvah, for which I
am grateful.

5)Spreading the
News – Death Announcements

a)In the
beginning, a death would occur in the congregation, and I would institute a
phone tree to all members who were likely to have been touched by the deceased
and the deceased’s family.The
advantage was that it spread the word quickly.The disadvantage was that it reduced to the brief and factual details
only.

b)Now, the phone
tree is replaced by e-mail.Whether
I am at home, on a business trip, or at the office, as soon as I have all the
details about a death, I send an e-mail to the Temple Office, which then
forwards it to the entire congregation (almost all is on e-mail).The subject line is always, “Nichum Avelim,” or “Comfort the
Mourners,” actually, “Comforting the Mourners.”This teaches a phrase and alerts the members to the subject. It
allows me a teaching moment by opening with a grief/bereavement quote.It provides all the details about the funeral and the needs of the family
involved.

6)Spreading the
News – Temple Newsletters

a)Temple Israel
has a monthly printed newsletter and a mid-month e-newsletter.The Cemetery Committee has space available for a column every time.We have contributed articles to raise the awareness and knowledge of the
congregation about end-of-life rituals, encouraging pre-planning, and why
cremation is not consistent with Judaism.

7)Spreading the
News – Community Involvement

a)We have a
presence on interfaith, end-of-life chaplaincy committees in the community,
including the palliative care chaplaincy advisory board of one of the hospitals.

b)We lecture to
Religion and Nursing students at Florida State University on the Jewish
perspective on end-of-life care and rituals.

8)Spreading the
News – In-Service Training

a)With a little
bit of Temple subsidy, we have been present at the 2002 Duke University seminar
on Jewish Perspectives in End of Life Care, at last year’s Chevra Kadisha
Conference, and at this year’s Chevra Kadisha Conference.The learning gets incorporated into the newsletters and messages to the
congregation.

9)Spreading the
News – Adult Education

a)Temple Israel
has a renewed emphasis on Adult Education with a series of six-week courses.Our committee was asked to conduct a six-week course. I titled it,
“Teach Us to Number Our Days,” and took the first class, which just ended,
of 14 students, on a journey of gradually more intense exposure to out
end-of-life rituals.The synopsis described the class as teaching “from visiting
the sick to consoling the bereaved.”

b)We started the
class with 14 students and ended the class with 14 students, a major
accomplishment.We met each Tuesday
night from 7PM to 9PM.One student
was Jewish but not a member; two students were not Jewish but licensed funeral
directors from the funeral home we use; there were even three families in the
class, two husband-wife teams, and one uncle-niece team.

c)The class was
designed with several goals:

i)Modify comfort
level with death;

ii)Nurture more
committee members for the “pillars of survival;”

iii)Teach and
inspire the writing of ethical wills;

iv)Teach tohora and
begin to develop the sufficient people resources to offer it regularly.

d)Was the class
successful?

i)We have been
asked to offer the class again, and regularly.

ii)One member of
the class, who is Temple Newsletter Coordinator, has added a regular column to
the Temple Newsletter acknowledging those members who are in Shiva and Shloshim.Previously, this was only in the Shabbat leaflets.

iii)Half the class
started and shared parts of their ethical wills with the class.

iv)Two students
have volunteered to be on a tohora call list.

v)The following
excerpt comes from an e-mail from a husband-wife team in the Rabbi’s
Introduction to Judaism Class, where the husband in this team is converting,
“we are both currently in the Rabbi’s Introduction to Judaism Class where we
just discussed the act of Tohora and we’d be honored in participating in this
mitzvah as well as doing anything that is needed of us.We are also interested in your class, of course.”

10)What have we
learned?What have we taught?

a)That all the
movements of Judaism come very close to each other when it comes to end-of-life
rituals and guidelines.

b)That the
community is receptive to moving its level of knowledge and application on this
topic if we but lead the way.

c)That the regular
offering of tohora is visible on the horizon as we develop a sufficient set of
trained volunteers.

d)As Dr. Rachel
Naomi Remen says in her books, life it truly in the stories.

e)That even a
small Jewish community is a microcosm of national actuarial demographics.We have been involved in sudden deaths and deteriorating patients, in
stillbirths and those who have reached a large measure of days, with the
indigent and with suicides, with standing room only funerals and with deceased
for whom we are the only advocates.

f)Perhaps, most
importantly, that the Temple Israel Cemetery Committee is really the Temple
Israel Chevra Kadisha.There was a
time when we thought of ourselves as the Cemetery Committee and felt that the
“rite of passage” for the moniker was the regular performing of tohora.With the help of Kavod v’Nichum, these conferences, the Duke Seminar,
and conversations with David Zinner we have learned that by offering the range
of services we do in our community and by nurturing them to the next levels, we
truly are a Chevra Kadisha.So,
this year, the Temple Directory does not say, “Cemetery Committee.”It says, “Cemetery Committee/Chevra Kadisha.”Next year, it will say, “Chevra Kadisha/Cemetery Committee.”Thanks for helping us to get there.