If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

It finally happened.

I found the fanfic that broke me.

We're talking about a creation that severely impaired my own ability to read it.

So how bad could it be?

Well, there's no anal sex, fisting, felching, fucking, cramming or even nudity. Just the dumbest, most illiterate, gob-smackingly STOOPID mash-up of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, King Arthur, Scooby-Doo, Indiana Jones and Doctor Who you'll ever hear, as they battle the combined forces of Voldemort, Sauron, the Lich King, Mordred, Cate Blanchett, and a half-man half-bat.

And this is only part one.

If you wanna see me lose my shit over a fanfic, and Greg threaten to burn my house down, here you go...