Manage anger more productively.

We all feel anger. Anger is an instinctual response triggered by a real or imagined threat.
Most men and some women feel angry when someone or something obstructs them in some way.

Anger is painful so we try and feel relief from the feeling it brings.

We all experience anger to varying degrees, some more than others, and some can control it better than others.
Is your anger out of control? Is it an issue which needs to be addressed? Finding a more productive way to express it should be sought before long term harm not only impacts you, but those around you. Suppressing anger isn’t beneficial and shouldn’t be considered, it’s another emotion just like any other.

When you discover the purpose that anger serves in your life you’ll best be able to recognise the triggers and how better to manage it more constructively.

Men are more likely to mis read social cues, act impulsively, misinterpret others’ emotions, and engage in risky behaviour. Men are more likely to act before they think.

Women’s brains are programmed for social harmony whereas men’s brains are programmed for social hierarchy, backed by competition and dominance.

Anger is also expressed by sulking or having a certain tone in your voice. People know that you’re angry but don’t know why. When you become better at recognising what you’re feeling, you’ll be better able to express yourself more constructively. This type of behaviour is considered passive aggressive.

Five Reasons Anger Occurs

Seeking revenge, feeling hurt, you want to get even and make things fair

Preventing disaster, you feel helpless, so you want to take control

Pushing others away, you feel discouraged, so you want to withdraw from life and avoid being judged

Getting attention, you feel disrespected so you lash out to be acknowledged or to prove your importance

Expressing difficult feelings, you’re overwhelmed, so you want to reduce the discomfort.

Four Keys to Managing Anger

Managing your anger means not saying or doing things you’ll later regret.It means calming yourself, assessing the situation with a cooler head, and responding rather than reacting.

Expressing yourself

Taking care of yourself

Building your tolerance for frustration

Showing gratitude and appreciation

Expressing yourself

When you express yourself you promote constructive communication. Make sure the message you send is the one you want received, and the message they send, is the one you receive.
Use the LOVE acronym – Listen Observe Verbalise Empathise. Guys offer solutions, it’s what we’re good at. Solving problems with our Mr fixit brains, isn’t always called for. In this process we totally miss what’s being conveyed regarding feelings and emotions. Basically, implying your feelings and emotions aren’t recognised so they aren’t important to me. The same goes the other way.

Not being heard leads to frustration.

“I can’t communicate what I’m feeling”.

Frustration and anger leads to being misunderstood. Listening with your head and your heart, means you’re listening empathically.

Taking care of yourself

Taking care of yourself is taking charge of your own happiness. How can you truly care for others if you don’t take care of yourself first.

Building up your tolerance for frustration

When you build up your tolerance for frustration, forgiveness will become far easier. The weight of not forgiving can become far heavier than the weight of forgiving. Forgiving doesn’t mean you condone or are willing to forget, you can still hold them accountable, forgiving is for you, no one else!
Being able to forgive will bring you peace and calm, not forgiving and repressing what you’re feeling causes resentment and contempt. Resentment manifests as repressed anger.

Showing gratitude and appreciation

Journaling is an important part of this practise, it’s a useful tool for writing down and expressing what you’re feeling, and also for processing your thoughts. Self reflection is an important tool to recognising how often these thoughts and feelings occur and when they arose, and more to the point, what you did about them or how you acted/reacted.
Gratitude and appreciation, a powerful way you can manage the heightened state of arousal you find yourself in when angry.

Usually run on a Saturday, now available online and in the evening at select locations. It’s based on years of working with individuals and couples where anger has been a problem. The workshop itself has a follow up component to check back with each attendee to monitor your progress, no other course offers this service.

Interraction and role play is key to acquiring new skills, this course will produce results!

Contact me to find out when the next Anger Management Perth workshop will be run in 2018.