Definition polyamory dating pivot table not updating refresh

The definitions I used are the most common ones in both my local community and the online world of poly folk as well, but some there is still some disagreement around some of these words.Whether you're new to the poly community, curious about ethical non-monogamy, or mono and just need some translations for when you're around your poly friends, here are seven terms you should know.

Hierarchical relationships usually refers to when some relationships are considered more important than others (ex: "my husband will always come before anyone else"), although in some cases it's more of a descriptor, used to describe levels of commitments (ex: "my husband gets a majority of my resources because we live and are raising children together, but that doesn't mean I love or consider him more important than my other partners").

Prescriptive hierarchical relationships are controversial in the poly community, seen by many as inherently unethical.

Again, these terms can be either prescriptive ("she is my primary partner, so she will always come before my secondary partner") or descriptive ("I raise children and share finances with my wife, so she is my primary partner, and my girlfriend and I don't have those entanglements, so she is my secondary partner"). A nesting partner, on the other hand, is a live-in partner (or partners).

This person may or may not be a primary partner, as well, but nesting partner is often used to replace the term primary partner while still describing a higher level of entanglement in order to avoid hierarchical language.

These relationships can be either open or closed/poly-fi.

A quad is the same as a triad, only with four people instead of three.

While a guest star in the bedroom wasn't an option that evening, I was amused (and flattered!

) at being reverse unicorn-hunted at a bar which was so perfectly named "the Unicorn." Giddy, I shared the experience with a few friends and was immediately asked: what’s a unicorn?

There are different ways to structure poly relationships, such as hierarchical versus non-hierarchical, open versus closed, and solo poly versus a more "relationship escalator" oriented approach.

Choosing to not use barrier protection during sex with a partner, usually with an agreement about safer sex with other people (and hopefully after appropriate STI testing).

If you're a poly newb or more monogamously-oriented, there were probably a few phrases in that paragraph that you were unfamiliar with, too.