Russian chicks are my favorite. They all look like sex bots from the future and it gives me hope that one day I will be able to own one and program it to do whatever I want. Anyway, here Tanya Mityushina and she is amazing.

I want you guys to remember this name: Tanya Mityushina. Because forget the Jenners and the Hadids and all those other rich kid wannabes. Sooner or later, the modeling industry is going to realize that having rich parents doesn’t make you a successful supermodel. Having a body that blows my pants off in two seconds flat does. And trust me, Tanya’s definitely got that. Yow!

I have to look at pictures of a lot of hot models for this gig — I know, it’s a tough job, but hey, somebody’s got to do it — and in my professional opinion, Tanya Mityushina here is hands down one of the hottest. I mean, not only does this blonde Russian babe have a killer body, but she also seems to have discovered a genius new way to wear a pair of cut-off jeans. Here’s hoping the trend catches on.

When I say that Tanya Mityushina here is one of the hottest women on the planet, I’m pretty sure most of you guys must just think I’m exaggerating. Because I want to try to score a date with her (or at least some selfies sent straight to my inbox). But part of this job means I spend 50% percent of my days either looking at or writing about hotties (I spend the other 50% sleeping, of course), and in my professional opinion, Tanya is definitely in the top 1%. Maybe even the top 0.5%. And if you still don’t believe me, I think this latest lingerie shoot makes for some pretty convincing proof. Enjoy.

Last time I did a post on Tanya Mityushina, I said she was one of the hottest women on the planet. But just in case any of you cynics out there didn’t believe me, or thought I was just saying that to try to score a date with the Russian super-hottie, well, the jokes on you guys, because even after all the nice things I’ve written about her, Tanya still doesn’t even know I exist. Wait. That doesn’t sound right… Whatever. Just enjoy the latest bikini shoot from this smoking hot model, you jerks.

I know I say this about a lot of hotties, but for my money, Tanya Mityushina here is one of the hottest women on the planet. Or at least the hottest one in Russia anyway. And before you guys say I’m just making this stuff up to try to get Tanya to marry/divorce me and don’t have any real, hard evidence to back that up, well, you’re probably right… But just check out these pictures below and try telling me I’m wrong. Hell, try telling me anything. Because I’m pretty sure you’ll be unable to speak or form a coherent sentence for a good 20 minutes after this. Enjoy!

Because two hotties are always better than one, here’s a pair of super-hot supermodels at the Mothers and Daughters premiere in LA: Natalie Pack and Tanya Mityushina. I never knew these two were into movies before, but now that I do, I think the three of us should do a movie night or something in my mom’s basement. We can watch all the old classics, like Assablanca, A Clockwork Orgy and MILF Party VIII. I’ll clear some pizza boxes off my futon just in case.

The SI hotness just keeps coming today. This time, it’s Russian hottie Tanya Mityushina at a Sports Illustrated fan event in Miami. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe Tanya’s wearing a bikini under there. Finally! It only took alldamnweek. Still, I’m glad to see the mag giving the fans what they want: more pictures of their smoking hot models in bikinis. Although to be fair, that’s pretty much the only thing I want 24/7, 365 days a year…

I pretty much fell in love with Russian model Tanya Mityushina here the very first time I saw her, and OK, so I know I say that about a lot of hotties, but whatever. That doesn’t make our love any less real. Well, except for the fact that she probably still doesn’t know I exist. Anyway, I haven’t seen Tanya in a while, but then she showed up to DIRECTV’s Dark Places premiere looking red hot, and all those old feelings came flooding back… to my pants region. And if that’s not true love, then I guess I don’t know what is.

It certainly took long enough, but we finally got more lingerie hotness from Tanya Mityushina, like I’ve been asking for. Honestly, with a body this good, I don’t understand why we don’t see photoshoots from this Russian hottie on a regular basis. Or why she hasn’t signed with a big company like Victoria’s Secret yet. Oh well, I guess until the rest of the world get their act together and stops sleeping on this super-hottie, if I want my weekly lingerie updates from Tanya, I’ll just have to go straight to the source: her Instagram. And/or somehow convince her to send them to my email on a regular basis. Wish me luck.