“New York can be confusing,” admits George Wallace. “There are no strawberries in Strawberry Fields, Madison Square Garden isn’t on Madison and The Post’s Page Six is on page 13, 14, whatever.” What isn’t confusing is the comedian’s love for the city. After breaking through here back in the 1970s, he now returns as often as he can to his apartment on Central Park West when he’s not working in LA or Las Vegas. Last fall, Wallace released a funny guide to enjoying life, “Laff It Off!” This is his Comedy New York.

Comic Strip Live, 1568 Second Ave., between 81st and 82nd streets

The Comic Strip Live on 2nd Ave., and 81st St.Julie Stapen

“I wanted to be a comedian since I was six years old, so one day [in 1976] I was selling advertising to a little place called the Comic Strip. I said, ‘I do a little comedy act.’ They said, ‘Come in and show us what you do.’ I played a preacher at the time, the Reverend George Wallace. The Yellow Pages used to be my Bible, ‘The Good Book of Bell,’ I’d call it. ‘Whatever you want, look it up in the book!’ The Comic Strip hasn’t changed one damn bit. They haven’t cleaned it up at all.”

Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St., at Minetta Lane

The Comedy Cellar.Gabi Porter

“That’s the place for the comics to hang out. You can sit down and eat and take it easy. That became the place because you’ve got some smart kids down there. I just drop in, and bam, you’re on stage. Comedy is a drug. It’s better than sex, better than drugs. We love to do it. Some of us seasoned comics do corporate work. We go and get paid $100,000 a night, and as soon as we get offstage, we go do a free set at a club.”

Green Kitchen, 1477 First Ave., at 77th Street

The Green Kitchen Diner at 1477 1st Ave.Brian Zak

“Jerry [Seinfeld] and I became close friends, because every night, we’d leave the comedy club and go to this place. We’d just sit there and do jokes and have fun. That’s where everyone went. Rodney Dangerfield, David Brenner. I was looking up to Brenner and Dangerfield, who was hot at the time. You never knew who you’d get to follow. You never knew when Billy Crystal was going to walk in, or Johnny Carson.”

“ ‘The Big Laff Off’ was a [contest] on Showtime. I won [in 1978], and some little kid [Seinfeld] came in second. We’ve done some crazy things together. Once in Los Angeles [many years ago], we saw a sign for a psychic. I gave her my $5, and she said, ‘Wow! You’re going to make a lot money.’ I said to Jerry, ‘Now you go.’ She looked at his hand and went, ‘Oh, my God! You’re really going to make a lot of money.’ ”

129 W. 81st St., between Columbus and Amsterdam avenues

129 West 81st st., at Amsterdam and Broadway.Tamara Beckwith

“Seinfeld and I shared an apartment [here] for 13 years. It was a studio — two people in a studio. We had a big sofa in there and a little twin bed. I don’t know how we did it. I was working a lot and away a lot. We met at Catch a Rising Star. Little Jew in the corner over there, little black boy in the corner over there. We caught each other’s eye. [And] I had a car, so I was like a preferred friend.”

Nevele Grand Hotel, formerly Wawarsing, NY

“I had my worst set ever at the Nevele. I had to do 45 minutes, and I had only been doing comedy for a few months. There must have been 1,000 Jews in the audience. Jews are the best audiences — Jews and blacks — as long as you’re funny. I had to do 45 minutes, and [there was] not. One. Laugh. When you don’t got it, you don’t got it. You have to learn timing and everything. I went back to the hotel five years later, and a waitress said, ‘You’re much better now, huh?’ ”