David Copperfield is hiding something from the FBI

David Copperfield is being investigated by the FBI though nobody will explain why. He has a warehouse in Las Vegas called the International Museum & Library of the Conjuring Arts where he keeps tricks and memorabilia, and it was raided by FBI agents Wednesday where they seized a computer hard drive, a digital camera memory chip, and nearly two million dollars in cash.

“We understand there is an investigation, we are in touch with the investigators, and are respecting the confidentiality of the investigation,” Copperfield’s lawyer David Chesnoff said in a brief statement.

Everything about this is just so mysterious. I think it’d be pretty funny if the director of the FBI saw a magic special and this whole case is to figure out how David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. I mean, it was there, and then it wasn’t. Where’d it go?! How’d he do it?! I bet there was a mirror involved. I’m pretty clever when it comes to these things.

Child porno! Nothing says FBI raid quite like thousands of child-sex pictures. I always knew he was a pedophile. On his website it says that he spends quite a “considerable amount of time” in the philippines. That’s child-porno mecca right there. Copperfield flies there with his over-forty-boyish wife life-partner, then screws tons of boys while the shitty ex-supermodel nonsense films. Sicko. I was reading in People magazine that Coppefield and Chris-fag Angel both enjoy the prepubescent anuses of little boys.

No, #4. Two-million in cash goes a long way in Southeastern Asia in regards to buying children. For fifty dollars, you can have the child’s buttochs. For fifty more you can use any orifice on the Child’s body. Fifty more and you can create your own orifice, and fuck that. Or, for a cool Two-hundred, you can just buy the bastard as a snuff-sex slave. It’s economics.