Saturday, December 01, 2012

FIRST: Answer The Question!

When someone asks you an innocuous question, especially when there is a stated time-critical need for a direct answer, never take it as an opportunity to philosophize, criticize or expound upon a better way in which they might be able to ask the question or to have it more efficiently answered. If you do, you will alienate the person who was relying upon you and trusting you to simply answer a question.

When a question is asked, the first job is to eliminate the "pain" by providing an answer. Only after you have done this should you gently suggest to the satisfied inquirer that, when and if he or she has the time, you might be able to 'share a better way' with them.

This is a matter of manners, showing respect, communication efficiency and strengthening trust and rapport.

There is an ancient Chinese proverb, which (loosely translated) says "If you give a man a fish, you have feed him for a day; but if you teach a man to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime." While I see the lasting benefits of an education, for the purpose of The Sending Signals Blog, I see it this way:

"If a man is dying of thirst, he doesn't need a lecture on digging wells or irrigation."

First, satisfy his thirst. After that, you will find him to be more receptive to your lecture series.

An excessively pedantic, accusatory ("How come you forgot your canteen, soldier?") or "let me show you a new thing!" type of response is invariably hurtful to the questioner, and will harm your relationship.

Remember: First satisfy the immediate need. If you answer the question directly, pointedly and with proper utilitarian focus, you build a bridge with your counterpart instead of burning one. And because of you obvious demonstration of a willingness to help him or her, he or she will be much more receptive to your propensity to educate and expound afterward.

Please take some extra time to read some of the related articles at the very bottom of this post. Some of the them are merely good. Others are excellent.

If you have an interesting or important point of view regarding any aspect of communications -- we are absolutely to open to any topic relating to interpersonal or organizational communications, public speaking, the art of persuasion, better writing, or even such wondrous things such as subliminal and hypnotic messaging, multi-sensory communications, intuition, instinct, extrasensory perception (ESP) or the fast-evolving notion of the Collective Intelligence, SHARE if you CARE. You might just want to write for The Sending Signals Blog as a guest columnist!
If you have something important to say, let it be said HERE where it will be read, and where you'll receive the attention and audience which you deserve.