Advocating for the right of consenting adults to share and enjoy love, sex, residence, and marriage without limits on the gender, number, or relation of participants. Full marriage equality is a basic human right.

Having safe places for people who are targeted for discrimination is an ongoing tradition of compassion and self-preservation. African Americans had a printed directory of places that would offer welcoming accommodations during travels. LGBT people had gay bars, which were sometimes targeted for raids.

I have said, half jokingly, in discussions with Friends of Lily that what lovers in consanguinamorous relationships need are places called Lily Pads. Currently, people in these relationships can only be free if they relocate permanently. Otherwise, vacations far from home can provide the only time they can stroll hand in hand, smooch, dance, and share a romantic night out.

It is really a shame that there would have to be places set aside for consenting adults to love each other without others causing them trouble. Let's keep evolving into a more positive world!

All
their hopes of getting an out of custody were shattered after the
presiding officer Magistrate Anita Tshuma condemned their
conduct.

I wonder if everyone approves of every aspect of Tshuma's love life?

In passing sentence, the Magistrate described the pair as lovers in a
serious relationship who had not repented after they were caught red
handed in December last year. Their conduct has proved that they can not
change thus they need a custodial sentence so that they are separated
from each other. although they came clean and pleaded guilty,the
Magistrate slapped them with 24 months imprisonment, 12 months were then
suspended conditional they do not commit the same offence in five
years.

Outrageous.

The State proved that the two were having
unprotected intercourse on several occasions before they were suspected
of the affair by their brother Edward and their stepmother Chipo
Mungeni.

Perhaps someone was jealous? Family members and friends should read this.

Further circumstances are that Edward and the mother confronted them, of which they denied the act.All hell broke loose when they were caught red handed caressing each
other on May 17 at around 10pm.

Oh, no, caressing each other! We can't have people actually being affectionate, can we? What a waste of law enforcement resources. Let them out and let them be! This is another example of why we need full marriage equality worldwide.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

The people of the US state of Nebraska should be highly offended by the despicable actions of a few people in law enforcement. The incalculably valuable The Final Manifesto first alerted us on Tumblr about this case. While the news reports are headlined with an arrest over "incest," and it is absurd and unjust to prosecute people for consensual sex, the bigger news is that the victim of an attempted murder and domestic violence, who turned to law enforcement for protection, has instead found not only her consensual lover arrested for consensual sex, but herself as well! What kind of message does this send to victims of violence? "We're going to pry into your sex life and prosecute you!"?!?

A 19-year-old man is facing a felony incest charge after allegations came to light during a domestic violence call Monday.Scottsbluff police
responded Monday at about 7 p.m. to a home on West 14th Street. A
teen-aged girl at the residence reported that her mother had assaulted
her the previous evening, using a coat hanger to strangle her.

So there are allegations of attempted murder, but they lead with the "incest" charge.

According
to the arrest affidavit, the girl told police that the conflict began
after the mother learned that she and a half-brother had begun to
experiment with consensual sex.

Here's where things get a slightly murky. Other reports have the girl's age as 16. Many US states have the age of consent as 16, and/or "Romeo and Juliet" laws that say someone the age of 19 is not committing a criminal act if they have consensual sex (with a nonrelative... perhaps a complete stranger) with a 16-year-old. Some sources I found say the age of consent in Nebraska is 16. Others say 17, with no exceptions for being close in age. If the 19-year-old violated the age of consent, how about sticking to a statutory rape charge, as long as that is standard in cases where they 16-year-old claims it was consensual?

The two had not grown up together and
the girl had moved in with her mother about a year ago.

The
girl ran away from home over the weekend, but was located in Cheyenne,
Wyo., where she had been waiting for a bus to California. The girl told
police her mother became aware that she was pregnant and they argued
about it after she returned home. During the argument, the girl said,
the mother told her sister to retrieve a coat hanger and strangled the
girl from behind as she sat on a couch.

Premeditated.

The suspect later went to the police
station and volunteered to provide a statement. He allegedly told police
that he and the girl had started a relationship in January.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

And to media outlets, consensual sex is more noteworthy than the attempted murder of a pregnant woman. The attempted murder should be prosecuted. Does arresting and prosecuting a victim's CONSENSUAL lover, who was NOT the attempted murderer, encourage or discrouge other victims from seeking help? Duh. Read what I'm talking about here.

The blogger as My Dissolute Life, a blog I follow, writes about discovering Tinder, which I know has been around for a while. Tinder sounds like it is great for anyone looking for a hookup or casual sex or perhaps "more," whether they are unattached or in an open relationship.

I have the sense that it was designed by addiction researchers. It’s nearly impossible to put down, it’s incredibly compelling, and it’s brilliant in that it’s constantly stimulating your (my) reward centers and never communicating rejection.

If you’re not familiar with it, this is how it works:

Somehow, it interacts with your Facebook account to generate a never-ending stream of women (or men). It allows you to select up to six photos from your FB account to present on the app, as well as a small number of words (a few more than 140 characters, it seems). And then, the fun begins.

With each photo, you decide if you want to “like” or “reject” the candidate. You can look closely – read the text, if there is any, look at all the photos. Or, you can just decide instantly, on the basis of the “cover” photo. You can either swipe – right to “like,” left to “reject,” or you can tap the “X” or the heart.

That’s it. You do that, over and over, and then, the matchmaking starts.

Women (if you’re me) see your picture(s), and they decide whether to accept or reject you (me). If there’s mutual acceptance, you both get a message, and, 99% of the time (of course), it’s on the boy to initiate contact.

Whenever I hear a mention of Tinder, I think about what used to be called "Bang With Friends," but is now known as Down. Before I'd ever heard of BWF, and perhaps before it was available, I remember thinking that there had to be some way technology could let people who know each other on some level but have a very good reason to be cautious about making a move see if there is a mutual interest in a "protected" way. Down is one answer to that. For example, when it comes to consanguineous relationships, someone could indicate, secretly, that they want their cousin, among other people. Nobody will ever know, not even the cousin, unless the cousin also uses the app and marks the person as someone they want. And it isn't like the cousin could then say, "Eww! No way! You're a terrible person for having sexual thoughts!!!" Because the cousin will have done the same thing.

If you have experiences with these apps or others, tell us about it. The comments are always open.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Advice columnist Dear Abby ran a letter from a nephew (I'm assuming the writer is male, since the columnist does) who is with his blood aunt. It is the third letter in today's column.

LOVESICK TEEN IN THE U.K. wrote...

I am under a lot of stress, but the woman I am with doesn't know it. I am 17, and I have been sleeping with my 38-year-old aunty. She's married and has three children. She's my mum's sister. We've slept together seven times and we can't stop doing it. I think I'm in love with her.

It is important to note that the age of consent in the UK is 16. Unless his aunt was acting as his guardian, this is not an age of consent issue. It may not even be a cheating issue, as for all we know her arrangement with her spouse allows for this. Again, this blog does not support cheating but we can't assume this is cheating as the letter does not say he's worried about the spouse finding out.
Dear Abby's response included...

By having an adulterous and incestuous affair with you -- her nephew and a minor -- your aunt is behaving like a sexual predator.

Not necessarily. Does Dear Abby condemn all polyamory or open relationships? Does she condemn all relationships between 17-year-olds and 38-year-olds where the age of consent is 16? Does she condemn all consanguineous relationships? If she does, on what basis? We aren't told.

If he doesn't want to continue, he shouldn't, and if she is forcing herself on him, that is assault. There are, however, many other people in these situations who are happy, and should not be broadbrushed as being wrong or abused. I always like to get comments, but I would especially like to hear from anyone who has been with their aunt.

A 40-year-old man was stabbed to death by a group of people, near Danilimda crossroads late on Friday night. Investigators said the perpetrators suspected the deceased of having had an incestuous affair with his niece. Police rounded up the accused.

"Affair" implies this was consensual sex between them, rather than an assault. As we'll see, this is not about an adult molesting a related child.

According to Danilimda police, Rekha Vasava, a resident of Khodiarnagar, registered a complaint against her husband Mukesh, brothers-in-law Ravi and Jagdish and with two others — Bhikha and Ramesh — for the killing of her uncle, Rupsingh Thakor, 40. All the accused are residents of Khodiarnagar. The incident took place in Khodiarnagar at 9.45pm on Friday when a group led by Mukesh confronted Thakor and stabbed him while the others beat him up.

"During questioning, the accused claimed they suspected Rekha had an affair with Thakor for some time," said a Danilimda police official.

Even though the headline said the murder was due to incest, it appears to me that, like so many other murders, it was done because of a cheating affair.

Isn't it curious how this story was reported?

This blog does support open relationships, polyamory, and ethical nonmonogamy in general. It does not support cheating. However, murder is not the answer to cheating.

Considering the social taboo surrounding incest, it took a lot of
courage for her to put this book out there. I must admit, I’ve read it
and am reading the sequel now and I absolutely loved it.

Diane writes the love story
so complete and utterly fabulous that you end up rooting for Donovan
and Lily to be together.

Yup!

Kelly: How do you deal with the controversy surrounding Love’s Forbidden Flower?

Diane: I come into every conversation like I am armed for battle.
Most of the time people are just curious about the real life situations.
They hear the statistic that 10-15% of all college age adults have had
some kind of relationship with a sibling and are shocked at how high
that number is.The number increases as people age, their spouses die, and they find
themselves in new living situations with a level of comfort that they
never dreamed. In the case of GSA (Genetic Sexual Attraction) relatives
meet later in life and sometimes don’t even know they share cells until
they apply for a marriage certificate.

(This has happened pretty famously over the last few years in the UK
and in China.) So if you meet someone, fall in love, plan to marry, and
then find out that you were separated at birth or share a father than
ran out on each of your mothers, should you be forced apart? People are,
and I think it is horrible.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

UPDATE May 14 2014 Mr. Washington is back inthe news because he's moved and had to comply with notification laws. How infuriating. He is no threat to anybody (except professionally as an athlete) and once again we're reminded about the injustice of laws criminalizing consensual consanguineous sex. Previous entry on this matter follows below.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Today’s interesting search phrase reminds me why I used the terms “consanguinamory” and “consanguineous sex” when I talk about consensual incest, to distinguish what I’m talking about from abuse or assault.

Let’s start with abuse or assault. I can’t imagine encouraging someone to “repair a marriage” to someone who has molested or assaulted a close relative or family member; even more so if the victim of such a horrific crime is a child. Perhaps the situation is a little different than that, though. What if the spouse isn’t the perpetrator, but rather the spouse’s parent or sibling or other relative is? In such a case, I’d say the first step to repairing the marriage would require that spouse provide protection against the perpetrator, including by not allowing the perpetrator or anyone enabling the perpetrator around the victim or any other vulnerable person. If the spouse was the victim of the assault, they need a supportive partner more than ever, and there are therapists that can help.

The second category involves activity that was consensual sex between the individuals involved, but was cheating. For example, someone wants to know how to repair their relationship with their spouse after catching them cheating with a sibling. This blog isn’t about marriage counseling, so I’m not going to write much about this other than to say that consanguinamorous bonds can be nearly unbreakable in some cases. If it was apparently a one-time event while they were drunk or stoned, that’s one thing, but if it was an ongoing affair, that can be something else entirely.

The final category is when someone finds out that their spouse has been involved in consanguineous sex or consanguinamory and it wasn’t cheating, either because it happened prior to any vows or agreements or was under an open marriage agreement that did not require approval ahead of time. Again, consanguinamorous bonds can be especially strong, so it is understandable if someone is concerned about this having been a part of their spouse’s past or if someone who’d agreed to an open marriage ended up becoming uncomfortable that their spouse has become involved with a close relative, asked for that to end, and is now trying to figure out how to move forward. It might be easier if they understand that such relationships are common enough that they know others who have been involved, whether they know it or not, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with their spouse. There have been many people who’ve had such experiences who’ve gone on to have lasting, happy relationships with people who aren’t relatives, without significant, lingering problems.

People castigated him for disclosing his identity of being a product of
incest. Incest is sexual activity between family members or close
relatives. This typically includes sexual activity between people in a
consanguineous relationship (blood relations), and sometimes those
related by affinity, such as members of the same household, step
relatives, those related by adoption or marriage, or members of the same
clan or lineage.

His disclosure tells me one thing: He's getting it right as a man. It's
a beginning of a new dawn for him. That has not made him less
successful.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

I was contacted by someone looking to cast a "docuseries" for "a major network." The series is being produced by Core Media Group ("American Idol," "Dancing with The
Stars," etc.)

We absolutely understand that
many may not want to share their love stories publicly, however we are
hoping to find the few that are willing, that don't care about what
society may think and would ultimately like to offer education and
enlightenment on the topic. It'll probably be a couple days of shooting if
they are selected and they will also be compensated. We are open to
cousin marriages, 2nd cousins, step-siblings, in-laws, etc.

As always, I point out that this could be a double-edged sword. Getting visibility for these relationships and letting people know they exist and are not a problem is important, but lovers need to be cautious do the very prejudices we're battling and even the laws in some places. Also, how you end up being portrayed is almost entirely up to the people putting the show together.

Here's the official call...

Now Casting!

Are You Romantically Involved With a Cousin, Relative or Step-relative?

Have
you fallen hopelessly in love with a relative or step-relative? Are you
sick of the negative preconceptions surrounding people who date their
cousins and want to prove all of those judgmental people wrong? Are you
tired of your love being misunderstood?

A
Major Television Production Company and very well-respected Major Cable
Network are currently looking for dynamic women and men who are
currently in a relationship with a cousin, relative or step-relative.

Using
a documentary television format, the show will aim to break down the
stereotypes and get to the heart of what it’s really like to be attached
to someone who’s a relation. If you’re dating, or are engaged/married
to a cousin, we want to hear from you for this new documentary
television project!

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

I’m doing this frequently these days, but I just can’t pass up these opportunities. These search phrases indicate to me what people want to know.

Today’s phrase of note that brought someone to my blog is…

"talking to gp about consensual incest"

In this case, “gp” is probably “General Practitioner” or “General Physician” or maybe even “Gynecological Physician” (although those are usually referred to as OB/GYN.)

While it can be an especially intense experience emotionally and physically, from a purely mechanical sense consanguineous sex (or consensual incest or consanguinamory) is no different from any other sex. Since that is the case, there is no reason to tell a doctor that you are having consensual sex with a close relative or family member, only that you are sexually active.

If, however, you are pregnant or considering a pregnancy with a close relative, that can be a different matter. In general, anyone concerned about genetic diseases or disabilities should consult with medical and other scientific professionals who specialize in those matters. Since a close genetic relative carries more of the same genetic material you do, and since anyone who has lived in the same location as you has shares the same environment as you (including pollution, communicable diseases, etc.), any problem that can be passed on to children might be of more concern if it can be passed along by both parents instead of just one.

I’m not a medical professional nor an attorney. Laws about medical privacy and mandatory reporting of criminal activity to law enforcement vary from place to place, so really, this is an issue to bring up (perhaps as a “hypothetical” wink wink) with an attorney who specializes in criminal and/or medical law and is familiar with the laws and legal system in your jurisdiction. Perhaps there is a certain way you can broach the subject with a doctor that will keep you out of legal trouble?

Laws or not, doctors have their own temperaments, personalities, priorities, biases, prejudices, etc. If they’ve been in practice for years, they’ve seen it all and I guarantee you they have had other patients with active consanguinamorous sex lives, pregnancies conceived between close relatives, and that the doctor has often been aware of the reality of the situation. Some doctors may be reassuring and supportive, some may be hostile. Some will simply approach the matter as another professional task.

As always, I welcome comments from anyone with any experience in these topics, whether as patients, law enforcement, legal advisors, or medical professionals.

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Roger D. Howard, 44, and Clara P. Walters, 21, both of Little White Oak
Road, both were charged with incest, a Class C felony that carries a
five- to 10-year prison sentence.

And who is the victim???

The indictments, which resulted from a KSP investigation, allege Howard
and Walters engaged in “sexual intercourse or deviate sexual
intercourse” between April 1 and July 1 of 2012. Under Kentucky law, sex
between a stepparent and stepchild is considered incest. The charge A, B
or C felon, depending on the age of the victim, whether force was
involved and whether the victim suffered serious injury. Howard and
Walters were charged with the least-serious variety because both are
consenting adults.

Monday, May 5, 2014

We already know that consanguineous sex (consanguinamory or consensual incest) is more common than most people think; that it is common enough that everyone knows someone who has been involved, whether they know it or not. Not only is it common enough for that, but it is common enough that enough children are born from such relationships that a DNA testing business put this on their website...

Sister- Brother Incest and DNA Testing

Mark and Susan had an affair- they are full siblings. Susan got pregnant and had a child- Jane. The child, Jane, grows up to suspect that Mark, her uncle, might in reality be her biological father. What can she do?

Ideally, she could do a paternity DNA test. This would involve getting a DNA sample from Mark and seeing whether their DNA profiles are the same- if they are, it would confirm that Mark is not her uncle but her father.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

People find this blog through some interesting searches. Today I noticed that this was one of them...

Asking adult son to have sex with me

Wouldn't it be funny if that was the mother of the person who searched this? Much of what I wrote there applies here as well.

Here comes a very controversial statement, but I'm going to write it anyway because I try to give people practical advice...

In general, it is easier to seduce men than it is to seduce women.

Please notice I said in general. Broad generalizations do not apply to all individuals. There are many, many exceptions. People can argue nature vs. nurture all day (although notice that in other species, in male-female interaction males often have to do some sort of task before mating with a female). For our purposes, it doesn't matter why things are that way, just that they are. That is good news to the person doing the search.

There is, of course, the possibility that the son will have an aversion for different reasons, some valid, some not. A person's feelings and attractions and turn-offs and boundaries are their own, and they have to be respected.

Every situation is a little different. As always, I can be contacted via private message on Facebook (I'm at /fullmarriageequality) or at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com for personalized discussion.

A few more hints in the text flesh out the
picture. 1:6 states: “My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me
keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!” So she
has maternal brothers, but apparently no maternal sister, as in 6:9: “My
dove, my perfect one, is the only one, unique to her mother, flawless
to her that bore her.” She says of the male protagonist, “O that you
were like a brother to me, who nursed at my mother’s breasts! If I met
you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me.” In other
words, if they shared a mother and not just a father, their kisses would
be innocent and familial; but since they do not, their interactions are
erotic and romantic.

Full Marriage Equality

About This Blog

I argue for marriage equality. By that I mean that society and all local, state, federal, and international laws, institutions, and programs should recognize any marriage registered by any persons without restrictions on the basis of race, color, creed, ancestry, national origin, sex, gender, sexual orientation, or religion.

The global definition of marriage should be as follows: "The uniting of consenting individuals in a witnessed ceremony."

We believe everyone has the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adult(s) of their choice, regardless of birth or sexual orientation.

The Fine Print

The focus of this blog is consenting adults. This blog does not advocate anyone engage in activity that is currently illegal in their jurisdiction; it does advocate changing or repealing any law that prevents the freedom of association, love, and full marriage equality for adults. This blog condemns rape, sexual assault, and child molestation, and frowns in the general direction of cheating. This blog exists mainly to evaluate information and direct others to information about current events; it does not provide medical, therapeutic, legal, financial, or cooking advice. This blog links to other sites for informational purposes; it does not necessarily support everything at those links.