Stories tagged “humor”

As I peruse around
The numbers I see astound,
Correct, cajole, compel, command:
“Comment continually!
Keep it coming!”
Chastised,
I commit to carefully
(if I can)
Keeping a consciously crafted
Comment-to-story ratio
Well fitting with Ficly...

King Karl looked the tall architect squarely in the knees, exasperated. “Bob, what the fuck?”
Bob’s knees squirmed awkwardly under the King’s well-practiced scrutiny. It had been a long time since one of his castles had collapse...

The wizard walked up to the door and hit it a few times with his staff. Nothing.
He gave it a small push with his hand – still nothing. But, you have to check. Few things are worse than spending hours casting all kinds of spells only to find out tha...

Fur matted to his scrawny body from the rain, the ragged little cat made his way up the hill. Vultures watched in the trees above waiting for their morning meal. The cats head hung low, his legs dragging. Reaching the top he collapsed, rolled over on h...

The little guy strained against the hurricane force winds. His muscles felt as though they would snap any second and his arms rip from their sockets. His fingers gripped the window’s edge like a vise. Becoming a hitchhiker wasn’t exactly on...

“There’s a werewolf in the barn!” called Jeffie. “It’s dead and really stinky!"
Bindi raced off to see the smelly lump lying in the hay. Half it’s face and butt were missing.
“Are you sure it’s a werewol...

Mark had often described women as “stunners” but this was the first time he had actually been stunned into silence by an attractive woman. She sat across the pub, drinking very little and looking beautiful.
In fact he’d been so transf...

I am the Queen of the Fitting Room Empire.
I try to rule it well, but any kingdom is given to tantrums at times. When all should be in order, it is not. When rooms should be empty and neat, they are overflowing, items on the walls and racks and seats ...

Tim may be the finest mind humanity had ever known, and yet when he tells other researchers what his field is, they scoff. This was because he is the world’s foremost expert on Headphone Physics.
Headphone Physics is a catch-all term for a common...

The expanse of the cosmos spread from my fingertips, a living map that responded to my touch. There were so many details to get right.
While it was true that my power was virtually unlimited, things were much more interesting when I limited myself, lik...

Let’s die!
You and I.
Without asking why
Or saying good bye.
No caring. No whimper. No cry.
No big fuss
Because I
Would just
Like to know
What it’s like to ultimately let go.
Your life is only the making of Death: The Show.
Come on! DonR...

I want revenge
Because I know the real reason for Stonehenge.
Bear with me
Cause this one’s a grizzly!
Aliens landed upon our planet,
Crafted a great calendar out of granite,
Then altered mankind’s mind!
Making sure it was simpleton
By comparis...

My soul is still as stone
At home inside my bricks of bone
And blanketing flesh
Drawing breaths with the pens I own
See-sawing on the crest
Of wearing tuxedos like a clone
Or walking around undressed
Flashing back like I’m spotlight prone

We couldn’t have fit any more in if we tried, at least that’s what I told myself. My heart sunk, as the guiness book of world records official handed the trophy to the other team. Maybe Charlie was too fat or maybe Marlene was too tall̷...

Imagine shoes that look like socks
That wash like socks
With mesh lining on top covered by sock material socks
Made of flexible, durable rubber that rolls on and off like socks
White socks, purple socks, any color socks
Imagine, shoe and sock needs all...

Dennis had spent rather a lot of time and, counter-intuitively, effort trying to avoid doing his job. He didn’t like his job, a fact made all the more frustrating to him by the smiles of his colleagues who seemed to enjoy that same profession. Th...

It guffaws from the thick forestry
Hillside adjacent
To where we are
Laughing its deep lament of poetry
(Meanwhile, the moons of Jupiter languish on a star)
We can’t be complacent!
It saw fear in our stare
It smells flesh in our scent
Like our ...