You guys have to get married and spawn a child, then see which of you can entice the child onto their viewpoint. That’s the only way to save the universe from collapsing after your sudden disappearance.

Before, it seemed that lots of people hated Danny for being annoying or self-righteous. I never felt the first one, and I suppose I didn’t ever take Roomies seriously enough to be bothered by the second one.

In one corner, Billie is suggesting that Mary has had sex. In this particular group, that’s a big deal. As she explained to Danny, she was close enough to the supposed scene to hear her (and stayed nearby throughout).

She could have (maybe? somehow?) completely misheard something else for sex, although I find it interesting that Mary hasn’t actually offered any “alibi”. Like, at all.

And in the other Corner, Mary is counter-arguing that Billie was drinking at the party (which is true; she had one drink), so she fabricated Mary’s philandering to make herself look better in comparison.

Now, context completely and utterly aside, Danny sorta kinda is right; either one could be lying, in the most general situation. Now, let’s put in that context.

Both are pretty aggressive towards each other in this scene right from the start, but Mary starts off running by calling Billie a slut. With everyone right there. Now, Billie did call Mary a backstage whore, but aside from that she’s much more civil in this conversation.

Billie’s insult was just a side comment in their argument. Her main crutch in this whole thing is her trust in Danny. Mary consistently and non-abashedly insults Billie right there in front of everyone, and uses those insults as her main arguments.

Billie’s argument lies in telling the truth and trusting her boyfriend to believe her. Mary’s argument lies in vile verbal bullying. So, finally coming back to the original question of why I hate Danny, here’s what Danny elects to do.

Take no side.

I would have been fine with Danny taking a second to disapprove of Billie’s “backstage whore” comment, but after that, he should have rocketed out of that house out of sheer repulsion from Mary. She’s insulting his girlfriend (of quite a few months; this isn’t some fling) with no abandon, and expecting everyone else to feel the same way as her.

No matter who was lying, Danny should not have tolerated that shit. And he has the gall to wonder why Billie’s mad.

Well, it’s not just insults, although you’re right in saying that it seems to be one of her main arguments. Her other is that Billie is holding a beer can. She’s using that and trying to make it seem like she’s cradling it. She points out that Billie is a recovering alcoholic, who just so happens to be with beer on both occasions when she’s telling Danny about what Mary did.
The first, she admitted it.
Here, she’s literally holding the can.
Mary’s argument is that Billie is trying to trash Mary’s reputation in order to draw attention away from her problem.

But yeah, Mary’s argument is relying on insults more than Billie’s is.

I don’t understand why. They’re both his friends, and he’s currently oblivious to the fact that Mary is a two-faced, lying, hypocritical mega-bitch. He doesn’t know who to believe- either one has an equal chance of lying. It’s reasonable to be conflicted and not know.

Why is it any more rational in this instance to believe Billie over Mary?

What an epic breakup between Group member Danny and former member Billie! How will Danny respond? Can Joe be trusted not to fuck one of the Divas?

And after the break, Squad 128 vs Aliens! But what nasty trick do the aliens have up their sleav? How will General Manager of World Walkyverse Wrestling David Willis respond? Find out, only on Saturday night Roomies!

So I think you might’ve mentioned in the past that you stopped liking Mary for not really working as a replacement Joyce or as a romantic prospect, but when did you decide to make her an out-and-out villain?

Clearly Mary is the evil one here, but this one, very, very specific situation is kinda unfair to Danny.

I mean, he’s known Mary for years, and what Billy is accusing her of seems apparently out of character for her. It’s fair for him to remain skeptical of such an accusation, and it’s not fair for anyone to ever put someone in a situation where they have to choose between two of their friends just because the two of them are fighting.

And while Roomies’s insistence that even the slightest taste of alcohol is eeeeevvvuullll makes me laugh, isn’t Billy a canon alcoholic, who specifically asked Danny to help her stop drinking? You know, what with one of their friends dying due to a drunken incident (that is what we should actually hate Danny for). Who did just walk up to the lot of them holding alcohol which is totally something to bitch at her for.

And if we are REALLY going to get technical here, there’s nothing wrong with Mary having sex- just her hypocrisy, lying, and judgemental attitude for others. Isn’t Billy trying to slut-shame her and tell everyone about it also really fucked up?

The more I think about it, the more Billy seems to be the one in the wrong- aside from Mary’s cartoon villianishness. She came over, flipping out just because Mary showed up- and the only reason she DID show up was to do someone else a favor- picked a fight, had a he said, she said type argument, and was then upset when Danny- who has no rational reason to believe either one over the other- didn’t feel like taking sides in their feud.

I get that you hate Danny, Willis, but perhaps other characters in your old comics acted in completely terrible manners as well due to your then-fucked-up-worldview as well, and not just him.

Danny. DANNY. You are yelling at your girlfriend after one of your horrid friends said awful things to her. Awful things that had nothing to do with the issue at hand. You are a terrible person with no social skills. Go home and try not to murder anyone else.

This is one of those cases when I hate Danny because what he’s doing is just so damn plausible: “Longtime friend vs. girlfriend? Help! Logic, deduction, what is that? I choose NOTHING!…Wait, Billie, why are you mad?” In other words, had I been in this situation at age 20, I’d’ve fucked it up too. Danny Wilcox: Our Cartoon Savior, come to be hated for our sins.

(Though, Billie, that’s not the coolest of ways to go about finding out whether Danny trusts you. Mary has the excuse that she exists to be terrible. You don’t. Sorry, them’s the rules of story.)