I'd be grabbing a cloth napkin and some string and making a breechclout, if I couldn't go home.

Do they teach this in Girl Scouts, I wonder?

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My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

The above stories are why I love my IUD. I've had episodes of ruining panties, pants, and doing the "nothing to see here" walk with a sweater tied around my waist. There were a couple of memorable days in my late twenties where I just took a book to the bathroom and waited it out.

I had one a few years ago, the evening of Dec 25 into the morning of Dec 26, that was like that. It started at night, when I stood up from my desk, to go to bed. I thought I peed my pants I was flowing so heavy. My socks kept it from hitting the floor. After destroying a couple pairs of underwear, and no sign of it letting up, I finally used a puppy pad, well several of those as well. They weren't comfortable, but at least I could relax a little. It also looked like I slaughtered someone in the bathroom, from the mess.

The next day, I had to work, or I would lose my holiday time, I told my CSM that if I say I need to use to bathroom, I need to go NOW. I gave him a quick rundown, with out gory details. I did end up going home early a couple days later because th monthly migraine I get, was one of the worst migraines I ever had.

I lost my post. Don't know where it went. So I'm recreating from memory. The second story came to me while I was commenting in the swimsuits thread, and the first memory came about from that. I'm going about them in backwards order because the first was very upsetting to me and I like to end on a somewhat happier note. Warning: pet death. Also, not being whited out because this IS the gross out thread. But I'm leaving plenty of filler text after that warning and a bit of space so that if you want to turn away now, you've got plenty of time. Seriously.

Some years ago, I was working in a grooming salon. It was at a big corporate chain location, and they also had a boarding facility. I had a standard poodle coming over for a bath. Its small siblings (miniature poodle and bichon) were getting haircuts. We groomed the dogs and put them back in the kennels. I walked back there frequently, and always looked at all the dogs to make sure they were okay.

Five minutes after one of my checks, a supervisor from the boarding area came over, those three dogs were going back that night because their owners couldn't pick them up that night. She went into the back and came back screaming that the standard poodle wasn't breathing. I ran back there, and she had passed. It took less than five minutes, she looked like she had just laid down and fallen asleep in her kennel. We had to somehow carry her (on a stretcher borrowed from the vet and with an improvised sheet of my smock) to the boarding area to be put in their quarantine room. Again, sphincter leaking. But this time I was nearly hysterical. This was a dog only 8 years old. I realize that can be old for a larger dog, but she was perfectly healthy and had been looking up at me and wagging her tail happily five minutes before. We hadn't heard anything from the front, and none of the other dogs seemed upset, so I doubt she was thrashing or making any other signs of distress either.

The owners were understandably upset, but very understanding. We offered a necropsy, and it came back that there was no obvious cause of death, it wasn't due to any sort of neglect or abuse on our part, and they kept bringing their two other dogs in for boarding and grooming. They knew that their dog had died, but it was clean, comfortable, and among people who cared a great deal about it when it happened. I had to go home early that night, and the worst part about it was I knew we were shorthanded anyway for closing, but the manager sent me home early. I was literally hyperventilating. It was one of the worst days at a job I've ever had. Someone tried to make a joke the next week about it and I still broke down into tears. They learned not to joke about that experience with me, and the other girl who had to clean out the kennels that night got over her being upset at having to stay late when she saw how much it really had bothered me. Though she did say that was the most disgusting night she'd ever had in there, and I have no doubt that's true, for several reasons. Loosened sphincters, and she always did whatever she could to avoid cleaning the back room in the first place!

Second story happened when I was but a young lass, probably freshman year in high school. My friend V's dad was a veterinarian. They always had several animals at their house. One particular one, an old cocker spaniel named Teddy, was a very old dog. I think he was in his late teens. He didn't have much hair left on his back, but his legs were pretty full and kept trimmed short around the feet. His ears had been surgically sewn shut to prevent infections and complications from cauliflower ear, and his eyes were completely covered in cataracts. He shuffled around the house always smelling disgusting, but it was too stressful for him to be bathed every day (and too much work for anyone doing the bathing). He was perfectly healthy aside from the eyes and ears, and never in pain. He was always content to shuffle around the house, leaning against the wall in the hallways to keep track of where he was.

One day I was over there and V's mom came into the living room and informed us that Teddy had recently passed in her grandma's bedroom, and could she clean it up? Her dad was working late at the clinic, and her mom had terrible arthritis and bad joints, so it fell on V to do most of the heavy cleaning in the house. Luckily the house was mostly clean most of the time, so there wasn't much except in cases like this. I was drafted into the cleaning as well, and figured why not? How bad can it be?

Let me tell you, friends, it can be pretty darn bad. Teddy had laid down and passed on the floor, releasing everything as he went. There was a pile of poo and pee already, and when we picked him up to move him to the nearest bathtub, more came out. We got him to the bathtub and began washing him with the expired medicated shampoo. After all, they couldn't use it on any of the rest of the dogs, and it's not like it was going to hurt his skin or make him sick at this point. If we had thought it through, we would have manipulated his gut first to make sure nothing else would leak. We didn't think that far ahead. Used nearly the whole bottle of shampoo because of how often we needed to re-wash parts. Rigor was beginning to set in once we laid him out on one of the "junk" towels afterward. We closed the bathroom and went to clean the floor in the bedroom.

Do you know how hard it is to get possibly hours-old waste products up from hardwood floors? There's still a stain. Luckily the house is quite old, so it looks like just a spot of discoloration on the floor and you have to really be told what it is. And it's under a rug most of the time, and in one of the bedrooms. No big loss that it had stained.

The two of us, after all this was done, went into the OTHER shower in the house and took a nice long hot shower to not feel so ooky ourselves. Then we had to bring the dog out and work on drying him off some more so he wouldn't stink from the wet hair. All told, it was actually kind of fun, in a sick sort of way. And whenever people challenge us that we wouldn't be able to handle something because it's "too gross for girls", we just look at each other and laugh.

They happened to both be at the same restaurant and saw the same thing.

The waitress was wearing a very, very, veeerrry short skirt.So short than when she bent over to pick up menus, drop of plates etc, her behind fell out.(That was how one viewer put it - her behind fell out.)

Not appetizing at a restaurant.

Since her behind was falling out, it was also clear that she was not wearing any form of underwear.So it was bare skin that was exposed.

Even more unappetizing.

What ramped up the gross factor, and made both of my coworker's skip eating, was the clearly visible string hanging down between her legs...

(They weren't the only ones to notice, their male companions asked "Isn't there some kind of girl code where you have to tell her you can see that?")

Somebody must have said something, because the waitress eventually went into the back and did not return.They still skipped lunch.

EWWWWWW>

although the string part reminds me of back in the 80's, on spring break, in Pensacola. Saw a girl on the beach, with these shorts that were the same size and style of a string bikini bottom. with undies to match. which in and of itself wasn't all that gross, however, it appeared she had a wayward string hanging from her nether regions. and as the bottoms were so miniscule, it was clear to see for everyone!

You know the wall of TVs most large electronics stores have? Often, the HD tvs are showing some kind of eye candy video, with bright saturated colours and slow motion: fields of flowers, young women in filmy dresses, waterfalls, etc.

Yesterday, I went to a store to look at cameras. The wall o'screens was showing a brightly saturated, slow-mo movie of a food fight, lovingly zooming in to show all the gory details of the bright red smushed tomato and the slow impact of a spoonful of mashed potato.

You know the wall of TVs most large electronics stores have? Often, the HD tvs are showing some kind of eye candy video, with bright saturated colours and slow motion: fields of flowers, young women in filmy dresses, waterfalls, etc.

Yesterday, I went to a store to look at cameras. The wall o'screens was showing a brightly saturated, slow-mo movie of a food fight, lovingly zooming in to show all the gory details of the bright red smushed tomato and the slow impact of a spoonful of mashed potato.

Disgusting!

See, I would find that highly fascinating. I'd want to go frame by frame so as not to miss any of the squishes.

I went into the kitchen this afternoon and thought: "What in the name of everything is that awful stench???"

I summarily found out if three Diet Dr. Peppers leak out all over the onions, potatoes, and garlic, and the funk is left to stew in itself for hours, it will produce a stench that might rival the funk of rotting wood, infected wounds, and the funkiest dirt smell combined. I almost puked when I had to clean the cabinet out and grabbed squishy veggies

Yet, somehow, I managed to forget to make a root beer joke about it to my family.

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"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter

2 and a half weeks ago my husband and I did a Costco run to restock the chest freezer with meat. Once we got everything vacuum sealed I realized the freezer needed re-organization. I was taking things out and moving them around to squeeze everything in. Our freezer is in the garage. It's been 95degrees + here for a month and often upwards of 100 in the garage. About a week ago we started noticing a smell in there that has been getting progressively worse. I went out last night to start some laundry and decided something had to have died in there so I started digging around through all my husbands tools boxes etc, and found a whole chicken. Right next to the freezer. Apparently I missed it putting everything away. A chicken will liquefy in a hot room in a matter of weeks. I was gagging while shoveling it out into the trash.

I'm laughing so hard right now. I could only imagine the smell. The squishy egies wouldn't bother me, but I don't deal well with smells, at all.

The worst part of it was that at first I thought it was Diet Cokes that had leaked, because it was on the bottom shelf, and Dr. Pepper couldn't cover the whole bottom of a cabinet when it was on the top, right? I WAS WRONG, SO VERY WRONG.

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"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter