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Should my boyfriend move in w me n my teenage daughters?

I'm divorced. We have been dating for years but he went through a bad divorce n isn't sure he wants to get married again. He wanted me to move in w him but I have a good job here. Now he's losing his house in foreclosure. His hours were cut at work. I suggested he move in with his parents until he is in a better place financially. He said he doesn't want to be a 40 something loser living with his parents! I own my home and have a good job. He asked to move in w us. He asked the girls first n they think its a great idea. What do u think?

I would say no. What is the difference between being a loser living with one's parents and being a loser living with a working woman? A loser is a loser, and he will have less incentive to work if he can get a free ride living with you. Furthermore, if you have hope of one day being married to him, I think letting him in your home would be a mistake.

Your boyfriend was out of line to discuss the idea with your daughters before he talked to you. It's up t you, but as someone who initially had a boyfriend move in for reasons of convenience, I would suggest that you work out exactly who is going to pay for what, and decide how long before you review your financial arrangements again. Also, keep the house in your name in case things go bad. Let him pay for other bills, by all means, but not the mortgage.

I feel bad for him n enjoy his company. My ex husband was abusive to all of us, and my girls really like my bf.

Comment by
Anonymous
(original poster)
at 8:09 PM on May. 28, 2013

Like others have said you need to have clear boundaries and definition of who does what and who pays for what.

Dating and LIving together is very different especially with children. Just because you feel bad for him doesn't mean it would be best for him to move in.

And the fact that he doesn't hit you shouldn't really be a point in his favor...while it is great and all you have to realize that majority of guys do not hit women but can still be losers in other ways(not that he is).