Archive for June 2014

Today I am having lunch with the smart, talented, and beautiful women in my Mastermind. We’re brainstorming, laughing, taking notes, and enjoying each other. I appreciate the relationships that we’ve developed over the years.

And this afternoon we have a few hours off and I’m headed to the beach! Miami in June is a bit hot for me, but I am looking forward to enjoying the warm ocean.

Remember that special surprise I told you about last week? Well, it’s ready!! Please check the recommends section below for this new gift for you.

Do you find yourself thinking: “I just want to do ‘my work.’I don’t want to have to worry about the business part. I’m a (fill in the blank). I’m not into marketing, and I don’t like sales. I just want to do ‘my work.’” Sound familiar?

This is a common attitude of service providers, particularly helping, healing folks, who went into the area of expertise they have because they want to help others. And that’s just what they want to do—help others through their chosen modality. And that’s what their training and certification programs taught them to do—help others with their chosen modality or modalities.

If “your work” is something that you can find a job doing, then you are good. Because when you get a job doing “your work,” someone else is doing the business part. Someone else is creating the structure, enrolling the clients, managing the money and the taxes, providing the infrastructure, and taking most of the risk.

Trouble is, for most transformational practitioners and teachers, there aren’t jobs available for you doing your work. You are on the leading edge. You are creating a New World. You are on the forefront of change. You are a visionary and a thought leader.

Thinking “I just want to do my work” is a holdover from school. When you’re in school, you are taught to “just do your work.” Your assignments are given to you, your teachers grade you, what you are to learn is clear, and you just need to “do your work.”

This conditioning is designed to create workers. It’s not designed to create entrepreneurs or business owners. That’s why so many entrepreneurs don’t do well in school or may not even finish school—they don’t want other people telling them what to do.

Workers rely on others to create the vision and the structure for implementing it. They rely on others to make the money, to send them a paycheck, and to keep the business coming in.

You CAN beat your conditioning once you recognize it for what it is. If you continue to think “that’s just the way I am,” then you can’t change it. But it’s not the way you are—it’s the way you were taught to be.

Having said that, it is also true that not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur or a small business owner. Some people are better suited for working for someone else.

You have got to be honest with yourself. I see many people with the attitude of a worker wishing they had a business, and putting themselves in the position of needing their practice or their business to provide for them. And then they struggle, and live out a money story of not enough.

They just “want to do their work”—and they think someone should pay them for that—just because they are good at it. This is magical thinking—and not the helpful kind of magic. It’s an aspect of the Child archetype that wishes someone else would just take care of the issues you don’t want to deal with.

I’ve had these thoughts and feelings myself, so I really understand this point of view. And it’s insidious because it perpetuates a disempowered state—one in which you are dependent on others, but you are not actually getting the support that you need.

It takes a certain kind of maturity to step out of this dependent, conditioned thinking, into taking command of your life and your business. It’s not for everyone.

Is it for you? Because to have a successful, lucrative, impactful, soul-inspired business, you need to engage in the fundamentals of business, not just delivering your service.

But I want to emphasize that this, too, can become exciting, interesting, and even fun! You do not need to suffer when you have the right attitude.

Once you make a decision to think differently, your whole perception can change. I’ve seen it over and over again in my clients as they have come to understand that marketing is about community outreach, and sales are about making invitations. And without these two, they cannot provide their service, and so cannot help many people, if anyone.

And if you would like more support with how to do your outreach and make your invitations, then join us for FREE, at Nail Your Message ~ Skyrocket your Income. Register here: www.NailYourMessage.com.

Greetings from the Sierras! I’ve been here for a week, connecting with friends new and familiar, eating incredible food, napping and dancing three times a day! We look forward to this annual trip and the alternate reality we create and experience here at NCDC Dance Camp. We slow down, open up, feel, play, cry, support and be supported, and awaken even more. I relish this time – and feel sad to be leaving today even as I am also ready to go home refreshed and renewed.

I have an exciting surprise coming up for you in just a few days – a powerful on-line training and contest on the most important foundation of your business: your messaging. I’ve gathered together 17 of the best teachers on all aspects of this super important topic – and this training is completely free to you. So stay tuned!

I’m away on vacation this week – so I decided to run again an article that I wrote in February for the International Day of Self Love. So appropriate now as we move into the Summer of Self Love – Enjoy!!

I grew up watching the original Star Trek – Space, the Final Frontier. And generations of kids and grown ups have enjoyed the exploration of space through Star Trek’s many iterations and plenty of other science fiction.

But what if the final frontier lies not out there, but inside you?

With your relationship with your SELF?

What if I were to tell you, that your deepest pain comes from the negative attitudes you have about yourself? Not from what other people have done. Not from betrayal or disappointment or abandonment. But from how you’ve responded to your circumstances, and particularly what you’ve made your experiences mean about yourself?

When I was practicing as a Clarity Breathworker, I became acutely aware of this truth as I worked deeply with my clients in their personal and spiritual growth process. As we went deep into the unconscious, clients uncovered negative self-talk at the deepest level: you’re unlovable, you’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, not pretty enough, not outgoing enough, not reserved enough – on and on, going round and round. Negative self talk that may have originated from either taking in what someone said (like a parent, sibling, or teacher) or an experience of some kind, but started running on automatic pilot, replaying without end.

Negative self talk – what my friends Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers call the inner mean girls and inner bullies – beats you down from the inside without you even knowing it. You don’t know it because it becomes “normal” – that is, typical, or “just the way things are.” And unfortunately in the US, this kind of self criticism and even self hatred is common. The Dalai Lama has remarked how striking this is in the Western world – the norm of self hatred – which was not really even known in Tibet.

It can be hard to even imagine – can you imagine a world in which self criticism does not exist? Wow – that would be a relief!

In the Hippie generation, peace and love became ideal. At first that often meant sexual love, sexual healing, and then love between people, love between nations. Over the last 40 years, what love means, how to practice love with your partner, with your children, and even with your co-workers and neighbors has been explored extensively – books written, schools founded, and therapists trained.

But self love? That’s another story. The dictionary still defines self love as narcissism, self absorption – like it’s something bad or negative. Commonly people think of self love as selfish.

And your lack of self love deeply affects your success in your business. I work everyday with women entrepreneurs on owning their true value. Because owning your value and the value of the service that you provide is critical to the success of your business. So are appreciating, acknowledging and accepting yourself. And that’s really hard to do when you are internally criticizing and judging yourself instead of loving yourself.

Are you ready to stop being so hard on yourself? Want some support around that? Then tune in Friday – June 20th – to my three BFFs as they bring you a Solstice Power Ritual that will provide you with exactly that. Register HERE.

Today my family and I are on the road to NCDC Dance Camp, our annual excursion to the Sierras. We’ll spend eight days enjoying ourselves with friends, dancing, playing, lying in the sun, and skinny dipping in the lake (yes, we all do that!).

This year I’ll be taking painting supplies and my sketch pad and markers. Working with color and image is becoming part of my daily practice of writing, making notes, creating intentions and affirmations, and playing with my imagination. I’m excited to give more extended time to this in a relaxed environment to see what happens!

I am so grateful for my team, who are so reliable, supportive, and consistent in their engagement with me and my clients that I feel confident to leave for a week off the grid to enjoy myself in another way than I typically have the opportunity to do. Thanks, TEAM OSTARA – I love you!

I’ve been independent since 1997 when I left the relatively secure enclave of Columbia University not knowing what the f*ck I was going to do.

Being determined to create my own business(es) and to stay independent has been extraordinarily difficult and rich. I have never worked so hard, nor been so well rewarded for the effort in terms of my connection with clients and my sense of purpose.

Over time, everything adds up. It starts to make sense. The different types of experiences, challenges and growth, opportunities, learnings, and sides of myself I didn’t even know I had emerging – it all comes together over time. My Soul Signature reveals itself to me more everyday.

I care less and less what other people think about me. The more I know who I am, the less I care who gets triggered, activated, stimulated or decides they have the right to judge or otherwise criticize me. The further I get into my 50s, the less it matters.

I know my spirit is eternal, and when I slow down long enough to listen, she has plenty to share. I know I’ve been a man in many lives, and a woman in not as many. I’m learning how to be a woman in this life. (That in itself can stimulate other people I’ve found, particularly women.)

I am not going to be here forever – in this body anyway. With each day, I relish the sunshine, the fog, my daughter’s smiles, my husband’s touch, the gobble of turkeys on my morning walk, the smell of the vineyards, and my body in the dance. I welcome and enjoy the experience. Without that, nothing else matters.

AND when I leave this body, I want to leave a legacy. I want to have made my contribution to helping to shift resources from the industries that promote war, addictions, and pollution of the planet EVEN A LITTLE BIT to those that promote deeper relationships, better health and well-being, greater creativity and aliveness and more personal sovereignty.

Sometimes I worry about what I’m missing. Having such a strong focus in my current biz, what am I losing out on? My experience is that in order to create focus I have to give up breadth. And it also forces me to decide what really matters, and then to make sure I do have focus on that. Given how easy it is to either get distracted or be drawn into many different things I am genuinely interested in, the focus helps me to make sure I am enjoying what really matters.

I want to know in my bones that during my time here that (1) I did what I came here to do, (2) I loved my beloveds deeply and to my core, and (3) I made a drop of difference in the lives of the people with whom I have the Soul Contracts to engage and contribute.

What is YOUR Truth Telling for today?What do you want to give homage to?
What have you learned, and what golden nuggets of wisdom do you have to pass on?
What do you want to leave behind when you go out of this body?

I am super excited to be creating a new online-training and contest on the all important topic of messaging! This week we are building webpages, I am beginning my interviews with our expert faculty, and I’m developing my own teaching components.

I love being in creation mode – thinking about all of you and what I create and do that will help you to move forward as the change-maker, thought-leader, and visionary entrepreneur that you are. And I know that nailing your message is probably the most important fundamental business development you can have – so that’s why I’m devoting two full weeks on it this summer. Stay tuned – for more coming up later this month.

And here at the Mauriva-Ostara hacienda we are approaching the end of school. Just a week left in sixth grade for our beautiful daughter who is rapidly maturing into a beautiful young woman – wow! We are prepping for Dance Camp next week, looking forward to late bedtimes, and planning our road trip for later this summer. Such a ritual when you’ve got kids in school. I hope your summer calls you into experiencing life more fully as we race toward the power day of the summer solstice in just a few weeks.

Business is all about positioning. How you put yourself into the world, into the marketplace, in relation to other people, industries and businesses is critical. Because how you position yourself determines how—and even if—you come into focus. That’s how people can see who you are, and can learn what you can do for them.

It does not have to be us vs. them, although that is a time-tested strategy in marketing. Just take a look at how well Steve Jobs of Apple Computer worked that angle in relation to Microsoft. It can be ME compared to, or as different from, others, but it doesn’t even need to be antagonistic – it can be illuminating and illustrative instead.

It is important to be clear and specific, and it’s always best with your own special flavor. How you position yourself has everything to do with creating your Village, as I like to call it, of people who know who you are, who know and are interested in what you do, some of whom will buy from you, now and into the future.

Let me tell you what I mean.

You were probably trained to do something—a specific healing modality, or particular kind of coaching or teaching, or a certain service profession (like Pilates, floral design, or accounting). When you present yourself as a practitioner of this particular form—let’s say a massage therapist, a life coach, or a student of Non-Violent Communication or Byron Katie—you are positioning yourself BEHIND that modality or practice.

You have what I call a “Modality Shield.”
(Yes, I know, it sounds like a contraceptive device!)

The modality is out front and you are in effect hidden behind it. Now of course your energy matters, and how you express yourself, etc. Yes, all that matters. But there’s really not much of YOU in that.

Your business will really POP when you position yourself out front. You have gifts, talents and skills—and life experience—that only you have that you bring to whatever it is that you do. In my Soul Signature work with clients and students I guide you to bring forth that which is within you so that it SHINES forth as only you can do.

You have to remember that there are people who will only hear the message from you. And you need to position yourself so that they can hear it.

I did a VSP day (Very Special Person, as my daughter says) recently with a woman with a rich life full of experience, expertise, and passion. Yet she was struggling to know how to move out of her job and into a business that meant something to her. In three hours we got clear on her business name, her attraction statement (how she answers the question “what do you do”), who her people are, her pricing and packages, how she’s going to rewrite her free offer, and how to develop her first program.

We did this by positioning HER in the front and center of her business, not the various things she’s been trained in. She now stands out, and she can speak directly to who her people are because she knows what they want and need as well. She started the day confused. She ended the day with a clear vision, a business, and a plan.

I’ve been guiding the clients in my Creating Money Intensive webinar program to bring out their unique stories. With one woman, she has a very powerful story about healing her relationship with food, and underneath that healing her relationship with herself. Even though she wants to help people with their food, she hasn’t been sharing this story. Why? Because she’s shy about that, even ashamed.

And I exclaimed—that’s exactly WHY you need to share it!!Because other people are ashamed, too. And when you have the courage to share your story—including the parts that are not so pretty, and how you’ve healed and evolved through that to a new place of peace and wisdom—it creates connection with your potential clients and helps liberate them from what’s holding them back. Now THAT is powerful.

Including her story makes her business POP! NOW we know why she is an expert who can help guide you through healing your relationship with food—because she’s done it, too. No longer simply a presenter of modalities, this client can position herself as someone who KNOWS from her own life experience, and who can guide you through the transformation you long for.

So how are you positioning yourself? Are you front and center in your messaging and marketing, or are you (hiding) behind your modality or service? Are you bringing together the richness that is you and creating a unique and compelling presentation that can only be you?

Are you willing to be visible, to be seen, to tell your empowering story, so that those who need you can hear and see you?

What can you do, right now this week, that will make your business POP and position you as the go-to person about what you are offering? Share your comments below.