The same thing keeps happening. I try to write about one thing, but it connects to other things—things that make me feel like hell… things that I don’t want to talk about because I have talked them to death… and nothing changes as a result. So I don’t want conversations to go there. But even when I’m alone writing… kind of talking to myself, the ‘conversation‘ goes there. And I can’t figure out how to stop it. If I can’t stop it with myself, how can I stop it with anyone else?

Everything is connected. So if I start talking about something… like how I used to like mornings but now I hate them… it turns into ‘I’m bored out of my mind‘ which turns into ‘I need a job‘… and I don’t want to talk about that. I know there are no new ideas. I don’t want to talk about the same failed ones I’ve already thought of and tried (and I’ve tried everything). It makes me feel so much worse to rehash it over and over again. I know I’m in an impossible situation… I don’t need to place any more emphasis on it.

But everything seems to lead to the bad places… even if I’m not thinking about them at the start. I guess they consume me. I can’t do anything that doesn’t bring me back there.

This has left me with nothing suitable to post.

I do have huge plans tonight, though! [Sarcasm.] The girl is sleeping at a friend’s house. The boy is going to laser tag with his friends. The husband is working late but when he gets home, he’ll have dinner and do nothing. And I’m going to sit around and wait for Hawaii Five-0 to come on… then I’m going to watch it. Maybe I’ll make popcorn.

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.

I read this idea about asking yourself ‘what if…?’ questions as a way of coming up with possibilities that your mind has resisted before. I spend time saying things like ‘what if I were a millionaire?’ and ‘what if the skly was pink all the time?’ and ‘what if I lost all the weight I wanted to?’ and ‘what if those people were my longlost cousins?’ and anything in the world, including not-big-issues: I read fiction and if it says that the man did this, I say ‘what if I did this?’ and ‘what if I were that man?’ or other meaningless, not-personal questions. It apparently helps develop neural pathways in your brain so it actually helps your health and creativity, plus since you are just saying what if, your brain is not likely to say that it’s completely crap as readily as if you were doing affirmations about ‘all is great’ etc. Maybe it’s worth a try–good luck with it all!

Thank you! This reminds me of something someone mentioned to me a long time ago that I obviously forgot! My head really is too cluttered! I’m going to see if that helps me. I definitely need to get my mind on something different… and stay focused on that something…

Whatever works–good luck with it. I would suggest the ‘morning pages’ from that book about The Artist’s Way where you just write down all the brain goo in your head for whatever minutes, but maybe you’ve been doing that. Maybe doing it without focus is what you need to do to unclutter–

Sounds like giving your brain something else to obsess about might be really helpful–good luck. When I feel like crap I do what the Abraham-Hicks folks say is something like ‘rampage of appreciation’, where you just list stuff you like or love or appreciate, anything from food to weather to animals to things in magazines to whatever else. They say that choosing to dwell on what feels good helps you get less stuck. Works for me–

Lol! I don’t even remember!😉 But during my “break”, I might tackle a few for fun…as a “character” of course. 😊 What if I won 5000000 and kept it a secret? What if I was mistaken for someone famous and decided to play along for a while? Stephen King loves his what if scenarios…

It wasn’t important enough to remember…BTW, I’d like to reblog your Reflections post with all you links from your A to Z? If you are okay with that could you enable the reblog button for that one post? 🙂

Oh, everyone knows better than to interrupt me during this show. LOL Although, there will probably be an interruption… husband picking up the boy in a few minutes… they’ll interrupt when they get home… I’m sure of it. I have my ticked-off glare ready.

Donnalee and Marquessa seem to have perfected a way of kicking their own butts. Maybe worth a try, and, although you started out a little negative (only a little bit – honestly), the comments started to move into a more positive stream. Yea, definitely worth a try!

Life is good. One of my favorite things to do is put on a good dance tune and dance in my pajamas. It makes me feel amazing. I love music and dancing. That also helps me come up with new ideas to write about.

Hugs! You’re breathing… alive… you seem to have a good handle on thing! Life is good. 😂😘

disclaimer.

This blog occasionally includes sexually explicit material not suitable or intended for minors. By reading, you affirm that you are of legal age (18+) to view such content and you consent to do so. This blog may also contain profanity because I have a fucking dirty mouth. Hope you’re okay with it.