#October2016

Peter Jackson and the writing team behind Lord of the Rings are adapting Mortal Engines for the big screen. Jackson will be writing the script with Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens, and Christian Rivers will be directing.

Hey! Here’s a new trailer for The Hobbit: Peter Jackson Commits the Same Exact Sins as the Prequels. I oscillate between being very excited, and remembering how disappointing I found the first installment. (Which should have been the only installment, because it’s the fucking Hobbit, not Fan Service: Elves, Frodo, and Thirteen Hours of Filler.)

Here’s the trailer for The Desolation of Smaug. I’m not going to stunt, I enjoy seeing some dragon up in the game. It’s a shame that it took a three-hour prelude movie. It’s a shame that Jackson has to stick every fucking bit of fan service into these movies that he can. Whatever, whatever. Benjamin Cumbersnatch as a dragon. Right on.

Peter Jackson is getting his thematic harmony on. Or someone in the marketing department. Whatever the case, the new poster for The Hobbit: Part 1 of 17 has dropped, and it is reminiscent of the LOTR posters of yore. Like a long time ago. Or a decade. Eleven years? Something.

Stretch it out and make a million, zillion dollars! Yeehaw. That has to be what the Hive-Mind Business Executives are thinking now that they’ve greenlighted Peter Jackson’s creamy-pants desire to mistakenly stretch out The Hobbit into three films. You know, the same amount of movies the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy spanned.