( Sunday, May 04, 2008 )

Some Thoughts

1. I can't get over how one person slowing down to look at a car with a flat tire at one end of the highway can cause a hundred people 10 km's away to be 45 minutes late for work. It makes me sad. And late.

2. I have never seen an HBO show that I didn't like (although I readily admit I've never watched Sex and the City and I'm pretty sure I would rather pluck my eyeballs out with a pair of stilletos than sit through an episode). HBO turns TV into art. And that is quite a feat. (Those unaccustomed to HBO should be forewarned, though: lots of swearing. And violence. And sometimes other stuff. So don't get mad at me if you happen to watch something from HBO after reading this glowing-but-unspecific review, only to find yourself deeply offended and emotionally scarred and unable to carry a conversation without using at least a half-dozen f-words.)

3. Robert Downey Jr. is the man. Not THE MAN, as in the Government who's trying to keep us down, but rather the man who exists on such a high plane of awesomeness that we all fall short in comparison.

4. People often ask me if I plan to get laser eye surgery. I don't. I like my glasses. Sure, they get dirty and they're always at risk of breaking and when I forget to put them on in the morning I stumble around and rub my eyes for 15 minutes wondering why everything is so blurry. But I think I would feel very self-conscious without them. And I would probably get things in my eyes, like dirt or someone's finger, which would hurt.

5. I think I might be OCD. I've been watching myself over the past little while, and I realize I'm very obsessive. Compulsively so. I like things clean and ordered. Actually, it's more than that: I can't relax around messiness. And when I want to focus on something, like writing or reading or sharpening my knives, I need a quiet, non-chaotic place to do it. (Note: According to Reference.com, I'm not OCD. They actually suggested "anal retentive". That's unfortunate.)

6. LOST is a pretty crazy show. I'm absolutely convinced it will not end well (meaning, we will all be very, very disappointed when we discover it was all a story Aaron's real parents told him when he asked them where babies come from).

7. I've mentioned this to quite a few people already, but I'm putting it on here for the world to know: there are two things I need to do before I die.One--dramatically turn over a table full of food/drinks/important papers; Two--throw a drink in someone's face.

8. I once killed a rabid zebra with nothing but a rubber band and my wits.

9. Ok, number 8 was a lie.

10. I'm always amazed at how a tasty cup of coffee can make life bearable. There are days where things just aren't going the way I'd like--bills aren't getting lost in the mail, women aren't losing their minds when I walk in the room, brilliant works of literature aren't pouring forth from my finger tips--but that one hot cup of dark magic can make it all ok. Now that I think about it, that's a lot like heroin. Huh.