Funny Emo Quotes and Sayings

Emo is a style of hardcore punk which describes several independent variations of music with common stylistic roots. As such, use of the term has been the subject of much debate. Browse through our Emo Quotes and emo sayings collections .

I wish my lawn mower was emo so it would cut itself.

I hurt myself, so I can feel alive.

It’s quite ironic that in life, the person that brings out the best in you and the one that makes you strong is actually your weakness..

“If I’m such and important person, why do you stutter when i ask you if you know my name?”

“If you love me so much, why are you walking away?”

“Can you give me a reason for coming out of the closet?”

Your coment cheered me up.

Since when was my name on the attendance, am i really that important?”

Sometimes if you love someone so much, it will actually hurt more.

Here we are! A compilation of some of Dan’s best emoisms from the past week.

“Life is worthless. Would you please leave me Evelyn so that I can end it all? You’re the only reason I’m living for and I wanna start dying.”

“Mother suspects that I’m a gayer. She stormed into the room with your dress that I had borrowed last night. I think she found it on the stairs, which is where I left it after coming home drunk earlier.”

“I think I’m dying Evelyn. I can hear the vampire bats of death flapping away in my head like an insane drill of doom”

“What’s the point in eating when you just end up crapping it all out anyway?”

“What’s the point in ever trying to be happy when the very pursuit of happiness is what makes you miserable.”

“I tried to cut myself last night to Joy Division with my toothbrush. I was sitting there trying to peel away as many layers of skin as I could but I couldn’t make a serious dent in my arm. I kept doing it for half an hour. My mother actually thought I was brushing my teeth for that long!”

“Jesus didn’t have to go through half of the pain I’m experiencing now. At least he knew he was special. I have no such assurances. I’m just another outbreak of the human virus which has contaminated Planet Earth.”

“There is such beauty in despair Evelyn, don’t you think?”

“I tried to suffocate myself in the cupboard last night, but I came out when I heard the theme tune to Lost. I simply can’t afford to miss an episode of that show.”

“Euthenasia sounds like such a good idea. Why can’t young people sign up for it voluntarily? I’m tired of waking up every morning and crying into my Rice Krispies. It’s just Sob, Splutter and Sob for me, every goddamn day.”

“I’ve never felt I’ve been valued by anyone. I’m just a waste of space that everyone ignores, like a ghost without a home.”

“Sometimes I want to break out of his vacuum but I just can’t. The space demons keep calling me back into the void. I feel comfortable there!”

“I want to die but I can’t think of a way to end it all that involves cotton wool. I’m terrified of blades.”

“I wish I was a duck, then I wouldn’t have to give a damn y’know? I could just sit there in the pond and float about, eating scraps of bread. It’s my idea of heaven y’know? Perhaps that’s what happens when you die and you’ve been good! You go to the great pond on the sky where the Lord will feed you bits of bread for all eternity”

“I’m tired of being made the scapegoat in life. I feel like I’m being persecuted at every possible moment. Even if a kitty comes up to me I’m suspicious of it’s motives. I know it’s just there to make a fool out of me.”

“If God exists why did He have to give me such a horrible looking body? I mean what’s the point in having nipples if you are a man? I’ve tried biting them off in the past but I doubt I could handle the pain. I don’t know what I’d say to Mother on the way to the hospital either……”

“Bill Hicks………how adorable! There’s just something about him that reminds me of a chipmunk. I’d love to feed him a bit of wood and stroke his wig. What do you mean he’s dead?”