Pep-what?!?

Don’t you love how the Hoff is doing a man-gut-suck in this shot? To such a degree that he’s making his boardies look too big for him?

Deutschland readers: can you please let us know why here in the Wide Brown Land we understand the Hoff to be ‘big in Germany’? Is this just a myth perpetuated by the Hoff spin doctors? Is it his Teutonic-sounding name, possibly a nod to some Barvarian ancestry? We know you to be people of taste and discipline, lovers of nature and funky eyewear, and none of this seems compatible with Hoff-worship. Ploise explain.

Onto more myths being perpetuated by those allegedly in the know. Apparently, peplums are:

…the most flattering trend of the last year. They suit all women – curves, no curves, bottoms, boobs – every body shape looks great in a peplum. They’re universally flattering because they visually balance out your body making the waist the focal point and flaring over the hips – the peplum creates symmetry between the hips and shoulders.

Let’s hear it for Paula Joye! Is she srs?!? What has she been smoking over there at her otherwise great site, Lifestyled? This is a woman on whom los gods smile: she has unreasonably amazing skin, what seems to be a keen sense of style, and top-shelf fash mag and styling credentials.

“Most flattering trend of the last year”? My upholstered arse it is.

L’am well qualified to say this as I recently invested in a peplum.

Loved it loved it loved it…promo-code stalked it, finally clicked ‘buy’ and waited with bated breath, a good bra and a sucked in gut –à la the Hoff — for it to arrive (which it did with unseemly haste as it was from the Deity Net-a-Porter).

Giddy with glee, La snuck off to the Wordporium toilets to try it on. After zipping and adjusting, I turned to the mirror to witness what can only be described as a Fash Crash Train Wreck. It was almost an out-of-body experience, like looking down from above, feeling genuine pity for the person to whom it was happening, but being dimly aware that person was La.

Srsly, if people could have seen it they would have whipped out their phones, tweeted the pics and had a viral hit on their hands.

So, Paula, your gnomic fash pronouncements may rarely be wrong, but this one was way off the mark, and I have the Returns Merchandise Authorisation number from NAP — and thankfully, the full refund on the plastic fantastic — to prove it.

Meanwhile, the downtown portion of the Harbour City is really getting its Yuletide groove on.

We’re having our Team Wordporium Christmas drinks tonight, so an appropriately killer festive shoe was in order.

These were bought ages ago from gorgeous Ms Bionda and lovely Ms Castana on the recommendation of LLG, and don’t get worn often enough. Need to be feeling sturdy and brave; like Christa and Miu Miu, they invite comment.

La’ve photographed them in the fancy-pants toilets on the top floor of the Wordporium. Photographing them on los un-depilated, un-tanned, un-pedicured legs was just a step too far before the cocktail hour.