Posts Tagged ‘helper’

And here we go again…
I was bitching with the girls until 3:00AM last night, and then I went home and had insomnia until 5:00AM… The alarm crashed against my poor, semi drunk brain at 7:30AM… So imagine, just imagine how sharp and grumpy I am today. In this conditions, I couldn’t possibly write anything but another DW Fauna. Let’s see if you recognize this players:

He is such a big mouth!... The Chat Monkey:

Like the fly in your ear… he is a background noise that never stops. His conversation feels like the commercial break when you are watching a good movie…annoying! you just wish for it to end soon!. So you learn to disregard him. You get used to miss his lines at chat when reading, and when you notice that he is talking to you, just answer with emoticons or words like “ohh”, “really?”, “lol” without reading the whole speech (just as you do with your mother, yes, that’s the technique…).

The Chat Monkey is usually very friendly (he is continously looking for a victim ear that could hear him, so he needs to be friendly to survive) and has an incredible ability to talk silly things. I didn’t know there was such an amount of dummy stuff to talk about until I met a chat monkey for the first time. Though when he runs out of audience, he can keep talking, (ohhh yes!) to himself… but guess what?… he will do it aloud. He will take the effort to write it all, so you don’t happen to miss a line when coming back to chat!

Orange, I want it orange!…The I_wannabe_Helper:

He is 4 days old at the game when he find out about the orange guys. Since that moment, the orange coat become an obsession…All he want to do is to be a Game Helper.

There is no possibility for Tom or Nate to enter to chat without being assailed by one this characters with a “Pleaaaaseee, make me a Helper!!!”. Some of them sits hours and days at newbie chat, patiently waiting for the opportunity to help a newbie when pumpkings are not there, to show everybody how good Helpers they could be. They also comment aloud how much they like to help other people, and how nice, friendly and patient they are. When they are told that they need to be 100 days old, they start counting days as the prisoners do, making marks in the wall. Their lives have no sense without the orange coat.

They lose appetite, don’t sleep, and they can’t concentrate or remember things. You can see them around Westland, singing strange songs about pumpkins with a crazy look in their eyes.

He needs a daddy and a mommy, he needs a scold… The Troublemaker!:

This kids (some of them already in their 50ies) are not cheaters, and they are not dangerous, but they like to rebel against authority, so they always have trouble with admins and staffs at the game. They behave as if they were born to defend a fair cause. No matter if there is a real reason or not (that’s just an insignificant detail)… they just need to proclaim their position flying the flag of rebellion.

There are many ways to tease people and build a cause to fight for…it can go from showing the hairy ass at the profile pic, to burp the complete alphabet in chat (I swear it can be done… I used to do it when I was 11 years old). The next step, once the problem is brilliantly created, is to defend it as if it were a public interest issue… That’s a mission for The Troublemaker!… he will run to post a long speech at Game Discussion forum, talking about the world’s right to know his pretty ass… He will mail the whole Great Hall claiming for help, because he is about to be unfairly penalized for expressing himself… He will make a mail chain to collect firms, open an twitter account for his cause, and write a letter to Green Peace that starts saying “Save my ass!