Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Love Me, Love My Poncho is a fashion show for San Francisco and all poncho lovers who appreciate the subtle art of the wearable blanket. The event will take place in the historic Dolores Park at 14:00 hours. Anyone wearing any poncho is welcome to participate. Just bring you and your poncho (see FAQs below). Celebrity judges will be on hand to rate the ponchos on a scale of 1-10 taking into account audience approval or disapproval. Fashion photographers will be in place to snap your moment of poncho fashion fame. The winner will receive a fabulous prize. Following the event, there will be a big queer clothing swap (see rules in previous post). BYOP.

Big Queer Clothing Swap Rules: 1. Bring your best, most fabulous exchangeable items in wearable condition and a blanket to put them on. 2. Swap with your neighbors, friends, and that hot person with the nose ring. 3. We recommend having a "free" pile for anything that might not be swap worthy.4. Take all your items with you at the end of the day, or feel the wrath of mother earth.5. Folks who are neither big nor queer are still welcome to participate.Fashion Show FAQs:

How Do I Participate in the Fashion Show? Bring you and your poncho around 1:45. Sign up with the pretty lady holding cards. Fill out your card with your name and any info. about the poncho you are wearing and give it back to the pretty lady. Get a # to pin on you and your poncho. When your # is up, strut your stuff.Does it Matter What I Am Wearing Under My Poncho?No. We, hesitantly, leave that up to your imagination.

Are animals welcome to participate?Dogs in dog-size ponchos are welcome to participate so long as both dog and poncho are appropriately leashed and led by a friendly hand down the catwalk.

What Kind of Poncho Should I Wear?Vintage, DIY, Local Designer, and Re-bedazzled ponchos are encouraged.

Help! I Don't Know How to Get a Poncho!Don't panic! We recommend trying some vintage stores. There are lots in SF that carry ponchos. Also many local designers craft pretty debonair ponchos these days. You can even harness the power of the internets to learn how to make one yourself!

Can I wear a cape? What about a shawlCapes are okay as long as you can justify wearing one by performing neato magic tricks. ABSOLUTELY NO SHAWLS!

[George Bush dons a poncho as a way of showing understanding of latin culture without actually having to learn anything about latin culture]

1) Feels like you're wearing a blanket without actually wearing a blanket. Great for when you don't want to get out of bed but also don't want to look like a crazy homeless person.2) Can be used as a buffer between butt and grass while you drink your 40 in Dolores Park.3) May help white people feel like they're embracing "the multicultural element" without having to actually connect with the multicultural element.4) Can be used as a table cloth or wearable napkin.5) Moms & cats love 'em.6) Hides your arms and torso from a potentially judgmental and superficial world. 7) Is like a rug for your body.8) Resembles a cape, instilling a feeling of virtuousness and desire to fight crime.9) Good for hiding things, like stolen goods, booze, drugs, or pregnancy. 10) Is super secretive, making onlookers wonder "hey, what's going on under that poncho?"