Conspiracy vs conspiracy: 911 Truthers sue government

Calling government charges of a Russian conspiracy to elect an American president “a clear and dangerous policy designed to strip our movement of its supporters,” 911 Truthers, Inc., a subsidiary of Galaxy Conspiracies Corporation, introduced a libel suit against the “far out fanatics of the CIA and major media fake news who think their story of Russian infiltration of our electoral system is on a par with our story of unspeakable, unknowable, unexplainable and unintelligently brilliant plotters who magically took down the twin towers and convinced several billion morons to believe it was done by terrorist “Arabs from caves” can stand up to logic, reason and other stuff we learned at community college and used to prove beyond any semi-reasoning creature with brains larger than a spider’s genitals doubt.”

The unidentified spokesperson, wearing a propeller beanie, spats, chartreuse pants, a green sweat shirt with the words “it’s all out there, or in here, which is neither here nor there” in bold faced lie type, paused to take a breath after such a long sentence, as did our Garlic reporter who was recording the historic and hysterical moment for posterity, or past therapy, or something really meaningful that very few may understand, but just come back in a few thousand years when future experts will be able to explain all this stuff. For now, your guess is as good as that of 911 Inc, Galaxy Corp,, or those zany fruitcakes from the USA-CIA-Zion-Putinkilledyomama department of psycho-social marketing at the Pentagram.

Rest assured, or lie awake in tension , when the next bulletin from the White House, Nut House or Frat House details more of the intricate policies and plots by which otherwise decent intelligent beings are kept in a state of slack jawed moronic imbecility, The Garlic will be there covering every slapstick dipshit moment of the new reality show, “America on the verge of massive socially demented brilliance”.