India TV beats Aaj Tak by three Rakhi Sawants in world cup

New Delhi. Leading Hindi news channel India TV today beat its closest competitor Aaj Tak by three Rakhi Sawants in the opening match of ICC World Cup 2011. This is being seen as a major setback to Aaj Tak, which was looking to upset India TV and dethrone it from its long held top position. The defeat comes on heels of Aaj Tak having changed its captain earlier.

“I don’t know what went wrong,” Aaj Tak coach Qamar Wahid Naqvi said, “We had changed the captain, we had almost overhauled the janitorial editorial team, but somehow we fell short of three Rakhi Sawants.”

In the closely contested match Aaj Tak was following a score set by India TV, as they have been doing since India TV changed the rules of the game with mindless hitting a few years back. India TV won the Big Toss and set a mammoth score of 386 Rakhi Sawants that included 42 Veena Maliks to the boundary and host of other retarded quick singles.

India TV had defeated Aaj Tak by twelve inches in a similar match earlier

“They batted extremely well,” Mr. Naqvi conceded and congratulated India TV on its stellar performance, “I hope my boys would learn from them and try to score as many Rakhi Sawants as possible for the rest of the World Cup.”

But the Aaj Tak editorial team complained that India TV was not playing in the true spirit of the game and they bowled “beamers” when Aaj Tak batted. However, the experts are divided over the issue.

“India TV always hits below the belt, I mean they always aim for the area below the waistline, they are simply incapable of bowling beamers,” Ravindra Choudhary, a cricket expert rejected the claims of the Aaj Tak players.

“I think the main reason Aaj Tak lost was because of the alert fielding by India TV,” Ravindra added, “They were diving all around and pouncing on any Rakhi Sawant they saw. A Rakhi Sawant saved from going to the other channel is a Rakhi Sawant scored.”