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bacon optional

Kramer and I had a fantastic weekend. We were busy, but not too busy, so I feel like we did get out of the house and whatnot but I’m not exhausted this morning, which is sometimes a feeling I know all too well. On Friday night, we had dinner with our friends Emily and Wesley at Meadowsweet in Williamsburg – it was beyond good. We had scallops with mushrooms, a poached egg with more buttery, wild mushrooms, charred octopus, swordfish with cauliflower, a perfectly cooked pork chop with beans and bacon, and just the right amount of bloody steak with some kind of potato puree. Everything, from cocktails to bread and butter, was superb. After dinner, Kramer and I met up with our friend Danny and Justin, who plans to move to the city before the year’s end, for a night cap before heading home. Kramer and I finished off a bottle of wine and binged on The Mindy Project before calling it a night. We’ve been re-watching Mindy and it is just so unbelievably funny.

On Saturday, I salt brined a turkey for a future Thanksgiving post, then we made our way into the city to meet with a group of friends at the annual Tompkins Square Park Halloween Dog Parade. It was basically the best day of my life. There were dogs everywhere, and not only were they adorable, but they were dressed in costumes. You know, like they thought they were people. It was amazing and I could hardly contain my excitement. I turned into a 5 year old, essentially, squealing and freaking out at every puppy-filled turn. We stopped for a quick drink afterward, then headed to TriBeCa to see our friend Morgan screen his new web series, followed by, of course, celebratory drinks and pizza. On Sunday, Kramer and I stayed in, but I had a ton to do. I always forget how exhausting making and carving a turkey can be, but I’ve got a lovely post to share with you soon, plus lunch for the week! I also made a giant pan of cornbread stuffing which I will also share soon. It’s time to get ready for the big event, people! Thanksgiving is close at hand.

Since the year’s big eating season is upon us, if you’re like me, you try to go easy on the rich foods during the week so you can save your calories for the indulgent gatherings to come. I had read that cauliflower has the magical ability to turn into a rice-like substitute when pulsed in a food processor, but I am apparently an idiot because it took me this long to try it out. The result is insane. You really will not miss the actual rice in this fried rice dish. Kramer and I loved it. I hadn’t had fried rice in forever, because while I do love it, I’d rather save the carbs for a big hunk of bread with butter or a slice of pie. Now that I know it’s possible to pulse cauliflower into “rice”, I can’t wait to try out all of the other wonderful possibilities. I’ve read that you can use it in almost anything that you’d use rice in, from a raw tabbouleh salad to simple buttered cous-cous to rice to eat with stir-fried veggies or proteins. This fried rice is no different and is ready in under an hour, plus it keeps well all week, so you’ve got lunch ready to go! I dare you to make this, even if you’re a skeptic – it’ll change your outlook on what low-carb food can be.

Time to bust out those ingredients. I used citrus cauliflower here, but any head of cauliflower works great.

Just regular ol’ cauliflower florets.

Now it’s rice! Crazy, right?

Grate and/or mince your garlic and ginger, grate your carrot, cook everything together and then add your eggs to the pan, allow them to cook briefly on their own by pushing all of the other vegetables to the side, then toss to combine.

Cauliflower pulsed into rice, then tossed with veggies, sesame oil and soy sauce for a "fried rice" dish that you'd love just as much as the real thing.

Ingredients

1 head cauliflower, cut into florets

6 slices of bacon, chopped

1 large carrot, shredded

1 onion, minced

4 scallions, sliced and white and green parts divided

3 cloves garlic, minced or grated

1 1-inch piece of ginger, minced or grated

1 cup frozen peas, cooked according to package directions

3 tablespoons soy sauce

2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar

2 teaspoons sesame oil

1-2 teaspoons Sriracha

2 eggs, lightly beaten

Instructions

First, make your cauliflower "rice". Clean and trim your cauliflower into florets. I used a yellow variety called citrus cauliflower in this recipe, but regular cauliflower works just as well. Place the florets (in batches, if needed, so as not to overcrowd them) in your food processor and pulse in short bursts until the cauliflower resembles cous-cous, or small grains. If there are any large pieces of cauliflower left over, remove them and pulse again separately. You want to be careful and not over-pulse, or else you will puree the cauliflower. Remove the cauliflower rice from the food processor and set aside.

In a large, heavy-bottomed skillet over medium-high heat, cook your chopped bacon until crisp, about 8 minutes or so, then remove with a slotted spoon and set aside.. If you want to make this recipe vegetarian, simply skip the bacon and add 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil to the pan. Reduce the heat to medium and add in the carrot, onion and white parts of the scallions. Cook for 5 minutes or so, until beginning to soften, then add in the garlic and ginger, and cook until fragrant, about 1-2 minutes. Add in the peas and stir to combine. Add in the cauliflower rice and stir to combine.

Whisk together the soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, sesame oil and Sriracha. Add to the pan and stir to combine. Push everything in the pot to one side as best as you can, lightly beat your eggs, and add them to the pan in a spot where they can lightly cook on their own for 1-2 minutes. Once the eggs have set a bit, toss them with the rest of the ingredients (see the photos above). Taste and adjust seasonings as needed, then sprinkle with the remaining green sliced parts of the scallions and serve. This will keep well in the refrigerator for up to 5 days.