Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Super
Bowl Sunday has come and gone, and what an emotional rollercoaster it was! Not
only was the game neck and neck until the end, but viewers were taken through a
gauntlet of tear-jerking ads between plays.
Lost
puppies? Check. Dead children?
Of course! It is the Super Bowl,
after all. It’s as if advertisers suddenly realized humans have emotions, and
that beer + bikini + kick to the crotch is not in fact the perfect formula to
lure every football fan. Check out more Super Bowl commercials here.
But
there were some funny ads, too. Lindsay Lohan
poked fun at her wreck of a life for Nationwide; Mindy Kaling
learned what it was like to be invisible; and that Pete Rose Sketchers
commercial aired, so that’s not embarrassing or anything.
Meanwhile the IRL Women
and Women First, the owners of Portland, Ore.’s feminist bookstore In Other Words, took over
Portlandia’s
twitter account to give a feminist commentary on the night’s events. Here are
some highlights.
Before
we knew it, it was half-time, headlined by Katy Perry.
While
she’s no Beyoncé (the disclaimer I give before complimenting anyone), homegirl
brought it. Even people who are way too cool to listen to the pop star were
all, “I’m not a Katy Perry fan, but that was a great performance,” which is
hipster for “I liked it.” And if you were a fan of the amazing graphics
throughout the show, you have a local company to thank! Lightborne
Communications was behind all the 3-D animations and projections (they also
worked on her recent tour). Read more about Lightborne’s involvement here.
The
singer came out on a gigantic metallic man-powered lion, danced on a
checkerboard come-to-life, served up early-Katy Perry retro beach realness (#leftshark
4 lyfe) and flew across the stadium looking like “The More You Know” star.
Lenny Kravitz was already announced as a guest star, and he didn’t disappoint,
performing Perry’s breakout single “I Kissed a Girl.” And oh, how I wanted to be
that girl. Seriously, the man has not aged in the last 20-30 years. I wonder if
he
and Gwen Stefani
both sold their souls to the devil around the same time in the ‘90s.
But Kravitz wasn’t Perry’s only guest! Rumored performer Missy Elliott surprised the
audience with a medley of some of her top hits. It’s been a decade since she
released any new music, so hopefully there’s more to come from Missy because
the bitch can still put her thang down, flip it and reverse it.
There must be something in
the air with pre-Millennium R&B musicians returning to the spotlight,
because D’Angelo performed on Saturday
Night Live
last weekend at took us all to church while he did it. I never thought I’d like
D’Angelo with so much clothing on, but he killed it (and owns the sophisticated
baglady look).
SNL
celebrates 40 years later this month (on a Sunday, which is weird). Tons of
former cast members and hosts will appear: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Jimmy
Fallon, Jon Hamm, Jack Nicholson, Amy Poehler, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Justin
Timberlake, Christopher Walken and so, so many more,
including Eddie Murphy, who’ll be returning for the first time in more than 30
years.
Now stop everything, because
the Game of Thrones trailer is here.
“Who said anything about him?” BOOM.
Jimmy Fallon took The Tonight Show on the road for the
week, and some of the show’s most hilarious clips have resulted. First, after
the Super Bowl, Fallon and friends did a live show from Phoenix. Will Ferrell
and Kevin Hart — who watched the big game together and co-star in the upcoming Get Hard — threw down in a lip sync
battle (“for their LIVES” – RuPaul) with Fallon. Watch the guys do either best
Beyoncé, Katy Perry, Kelly Clarkson and more here.
On Monday, the crew
traveled to L.A. So, naturally, Fallon opened the show with a recreation of the intro from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
But the throwback fun
doesn’t stop there. No stranger to Mark-Paul Gosselaar (who famously did an
interview with Fallon as Zack Morris on Late
Night), Fallon reunited the Saved By the Bell crew — Zack (Gosselaar),
Kelly (Tiffani Thiessen), Slater (Mario Lopez) and Jessie (Elizabeth Berkley) —
for a trip back to Bayside.
This is all great but
where is Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies)?! I mean I know Dustin “Screech” Diamond
was probably busy with his recent arrest
and all, but what’s her excuse?
Finally, the movie event
horny bitches across the planet have been waiting for is finally here. Folks
have been talking about it — anticipating it — since 2012. Some scenes can’t
even be shown on TV.
No, I’m not talking about
that Fifty Shades bullshit, I’m
talkin’ Magic Mike XXL. Try to keep
your composure.

The website skyrange.net makes you feel worse about your paycheck by breaking down how much music's highest earners made per second, engineers working on Neil Young's PonoMusic reportedly question whether the "high definition" sound is any better than CD-quality and, with no original members, Soft Rock champs Little River Band get the axe from a Tonight Show appearance after former members complain.

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

When Catfish The TV Show premiered in 2012, I was less than impressed.
While I enjoyed the original documentary film
about a man’s (the filmmaker’s brother, Nev Schulman) online
relationship-gone-wrong, Nev’s MTV version lacked the same authenticity and felt
rather exploitative. But when Schulman tweeted about being in the Cincinnati
area (Findlay Market, specifically) this past February, my interest was
certainly piqued. Who doesn’t love seeing Cincy on TV (even if it inevitably
would be a negative representation of the city and its people)?
The Cincinnati episode of Catfish aired last week and local ties
aside, it was one of the most controversial episodes thus far. Nev and his docu-series
partner-in-crime Max embarked on a unique catfishing adventure when Carmen
contacted the duo to help her host a “catfish intervention” with her cousin
Antwane whom, despite never meeting the man in person, had been in a
relationship with a guy named Tony for three years. Antwane explained that he “met” Tony on a
late-night chat line but he’d never so much as seen a photo of him. Carmen and
‘Twane are both big personalities, sure to get a reaction from viewers, but
they both seemed genuine.
After a crazy turn of
events, Antwane’s cousin Carmen nonchalantly revealed that she was “Tony” all
along, and she had kept up the sick charade as revenge for…wait for it…the one
time Antwane called her “a fat ass Kelly Price” in front of her family three
years ago. Oy.
When Max and Nev learned that
Carmen was behind the whole thing and that she planned the Catfish cameras to catch her so she could get a brush with fame,
they were furious. And rightfully so, that’s a straight Disney villain move
(also your cousin?!). In a very
edited scene, Nev heatedly called out Carmen, mocking the way she talked, when
producers immediately stepped in to call for a break. While I in no way condone
any of her sociopathic actions, I did find it bitterly just that these MTV
hotshots got a taste of their own exploitative medicine. They embarrass
countless people on the show (though some might argue the subjects ask for it)
and while they say they do it to help people, like any television producers, it's all about ratings and "good" TV. In the end, this episode was sure to rack up plenty
of viewers.
After the show aired, Nev posted the following
message on his Facebook page, which reeks of his signature smug judginess:
“Shooting this weeks episode of Catfish was
one of the most intense and emotional experiences of my life. Relating to and
understanding Antwane was a struggle for me in many ways, but I really grew to
appreciate and respect him. He has many fears and flaws, but showed so much
courage and resolve in the face of adversity. He is a man who proves that you
don't need anybody else's approval to be happy. My lesson learned is to be
confident and proud of who you are no matter what anybody else says or thinks.
Life isn't always easy, but we can all chose to be positive in the way we treat
ourselves and others. Cheers.”
Watch the full episode
here.
The show features shots of Short Vine (it looks like Antwane lives across the
street from Bogart’s); Coffee Emporium in Over-the-Rhine (Nev and Max famously
do all their research in a coffee shop in each episode, and were very impressed
by the local spot); and various locations across Downtown and Over-the-Rhine.
The term “catfish” has
caught on as a definition for people who assume false identities on the Internet
(or the act of doing so) — so much so, that the word’s new meaning has been
added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. Go here to read about how the term originated in
the doc by the same name.
Every year, the Guardians
of the English Language at M-W begrudgingly add new words and definitions to the
dictionary. This year’s list was just released and, in addition to catfish’s
new meaning, there’s hashtag, selfie and steampunk . Peep the full list here.
Brad Pitt and Matthew
McConaughey are neighbors now, and apparently just a couple of bros.
Magic Mike was a hit. Channing Tatum is apparently working on a sequel, Magic Mike XXL.
So it’s no surprise that “The Real” Magic
Mike
is also in the works. Directed by Joe Manganiello (“Big Dick” Richie in Mike, Alcide in True Blood), La Bare gives
a raw, inside look at the talented male dancers at La Bare Dallas.
LA BARE RED BAND
TRAILER from Main Street Films
on Vimeo.We now live in a world where Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia gets invited to give commencement speeches and receives honorary doctorates. Which is to say, an awesome world. Check out his words of wisdom here.
Jimmy Fallon has been doing
a Suggestion Box bit on The Tonight Show, where he takes completely random questions or ideas from
fans and brings them to life in epic Tonight fashion. Fallon has dubbed Game
of Thrones with children’s voices, gotten Audra McDonald to sing real Yahoo
Answers and tested out Digi-Staches on Higgins. But this might be one of my
favorites:

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Cincinnati is now a
temporary home for Cate Blanchett (this year’s winner of the Best Actress Oscar
for Blue Jasmine), Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Side Effects, Her), Sarah Paulson (The American
Horror Story anthology, 12 Years a
Slave) and Kyle Chandler (The Wolf of
Wall Street, Zero Dark Thirty,
the Friday Night Lights series) as
filming for Todd Haynes’ upcoming movie Carol
is in full swing! Some of the stars (and a giant movie crew) were spotted
filming at their first location, Eden Park, as well as along US 52 in New Richmond
and Spare Time Grill in Alexandria, Ky. The Enquirer’s Glenn Hartong was able
to catch a glimpse at Mara and Paulson looking straight out of the '50s filming a scene at the now-closed diner.
Photo: The Enquirer/Glenn Harton. See more photos here.
The film is based on is
based on Patricia Highsmith’s 1952 novel (published as both Carol and The Price of Salt) about Carol (Blanchett), a wife in a loveless
marriage on the brink of divorce who falls in love with a young woman, Therese
(Mara). The book was revolutionary at the time for portraying a lesbian
relationship, and doing so in a non-stereotypical light. Chandler will portray
the titular character’s husband while Paulson plays Abby, Carol’s best friend.
Filming continues this week
at a home on Grandin Avenue in Hyde Park. Retro Westside institution Maury’s Tiny
Cove will be closed April 1 for a day of
filming Blanchett and Mara’s characters’ first date. Cincy Magazine tweeted
that the Cincinnati Club, where the mag’s office is located, will also be used
to shoot the film at an unspecified date. We’ll keep an eye out — the building
is right across the street from CityBeat’s HQ. Search #carolmovie on Twitter
for the latest dish on the movie and its local filming and tweet us if you have
a run-in with any of the stars!
Even if Carol wasn’t filmed exclusively in
Cincinnati, the adaptation sounds like a great premise for a film.
Unfortunately the same can’t be said about most of the recent movies based on
books and other, previous movies. This week in remake fuckery, we have Rosemary’s Baby and The Birds — two classic ‘60s horror films undergoing contemporary
reworkings. Zoe Saldana will take on Mia Farrow’s iconic role in a
made-for-TV version of Rosemary coming
to NBC; Transformers director Michael
Bay is apparently producing the remake of
Hitchcock’s feathery flick. We can only guess that Bay will replace said birds
with laser-shooting Velociraptors.
Now and forever:
Speaking of dinosaurs, paleontologists
in Alaska last week discovered a miniature species of tyrannosaurs about half
the size of its close relative, the T. rex — essentially, what the prehistoric
Paris Hiltons were carrying around in their designer mammoth skin handbags.
Teacup-Rex!
A post I found recently on
Imgur (because Reddit still confuses/scares me) recalls the story of when the
United Way decided to release 1.5 million helium balloons into the air in
Cleveland in 1986, breaking the world record. The photos of the event are
stunning, but — as anyone with a tiny bit of foresight could tell you — the
mega-balloon launch totally backfired. Not only did this result in more than
1.5 million pieces of plastic trash around the region and as north as Ontario,
but also reportedly hindered a missing person search on Lake Erie.Peep this less dismal, totally ‘80s news segment about the
event:
Kermit the Frog rang in the
New York Stock Exchange Monday. Muppets
Most Wanted opens in theaters Friday.
Everyone’s talking about
“Strangers Kissing,” a viral video of 20 strangers making out for the first
time that’s actually (somehow) an ad for women’s clothing label Wren. A bit
contrived, I suppose, but definitely intriguing and pretty hot.
Jimmy Fallon put his own
twist on the vid…with puppies and kitties.

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Miley Cyrus kicked off her Bangerz tour in expected fashion: with a
mini-Britney, a gigantic phallic hot dog, the return of the infamous foam
finger and Miley entering the stage via a giant Miley head, sliding down a giant Miley tongue. Here’s a look at this recent performance of “Party in the USA,” basically a
children’s patriotic school play, if said children drank a bathtub full of
molly-laced Kool-Aid first.
Side note: This is what U.S. History class will look like in 2064.
We’re more than halfway through the Olympics and the U.S. is currently
in third place for medal standings
with 23 medals —the most decorated country at this point.
There have been some ups and downs: Superstars Shaun White and Shani
Davis failed to attain medals and other U.S. favorites scored much lower than expected. But history was made with Charlie White and Meryl Davis winning the first U.S.
gold in Olympic ice dancing; bobsledder Steven Holcomb again broke a 62-year
losing streak for the States (he and Steve Langton won bronze in the two-man
race, medaling for the first time since 1952; Holcomb in 2010 also led his
four-man sled team to the country’s first medal in that event in 62 years); and the U.S. commanded the podium for
men’s ski slopestyle as Americans Joss Christensen, Gus
Kenworthy and Nick Goepper took home the gold, silver and bronze, respectively.
The best spectacle came on the ice rink, though. Is that any surprise? With
music, dancing and sparkly costumes, the other sports just don’t compete when
it comes to entertainment. Retired ice princess Johnny Weir hasn’t missed a step with his
flawless looks while providing figure skating commentary for NBC — Gawker has
been on Weir Watch, documenting his sassiest
ensembles and accessories.
Is anyone else kicking themselves for having just discovered Russian
skating god Evgeni Plushenko? The highly decorated figure skater embarked on
his fourth Olympics in Sochi this year after undergoing surgery on his spine in
early 2013. Plush won Russia’s first gold at the games, competing in two team
events before kicking off the figure skating short program. Sadly — and right after
NBC aired an amazing reel on Plush and his very interesting history — the
skater injured himself during practice, just before he was about to compete.
Plush withdrew from the event, retiring from his sport effective immediately.
So this kind of thing happens all the time with athletes who push their
bodies to the limit. But Plushenko is more than just a talented skater. He was
a presence — with “top three in Russian woman” wife —
as this now-viral showcase (aka not a competition) performance proves.
And finally we have The Faces of Figure Skating, which pretty much
speaks for itself.
This dude is a dead-ringer for David Wain seeing a pair of boobs for the first time.You know that Crystal Head vodka that comes in a cool glass skull? Well,
fun fact, Dan Aykroyd founded the company, and some scientists created a face
based on the “skull’s” dimension. Here’s what it would look like if the Crystal
Head was a real guy:Jimmy Fallon took over The Tonight Show hosting duties Monday and it’s
already clear fans of his Late Night
jokes, skits and recurring bits can expect just about the same from his new
show and time slot. A cavalcade of celebrities
welcomed Fallon on Monday, with Lindsay Lohan, Rudy Giuliani, Lady Gaga and
other famous New Yorkers paying up as if they lost a bet that he’d never take
over Tonight. Fallon’s first guest
was Will Smith who, along with Jimmy, schooled us on the Evolution of Hip-Hop Dancing.
I also finally discovered that The Roots, when introducing Fallon, aren’t just yelling random numbers (I thought they were area code shout outs?), which
became clear when ?uestlove enthusiastically shouted, “One!” at the start of the
first show.
Fallon’s gonna kill it. So it’s definitely appropriate that his original
Saturday Night Live audition tape is
making its rounds. Spoiler Alert: Jimmy is a baby and auditioning for SNL appears to be the most terrifying
experience ever.

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Dumb Starbucks, we hardly knew you!
The “parody” coffee shop, which mimicked the
real Starbucks' name, logo, menu (Dumb Frappuccino, Dumb Espresso, served in
Dumb Tall, Dumb Grande or Dumb Venti), everything
— even font — opened in L.A. Friday only to be shut down by the Los Angeles
Health Department Monday. Forbes posted Dumb Starbucks’ “frequently asked
questions,” which explains that by adding the word “dumb,” it’s protected by
parody law. Therefore the “coffee shop” was actually recognized as an art
gallery and the coffee, art. Guests, who lined up out the door and around the
strip mall where Dumb Starbucks set up shop, were treated to friendly service
and free coffee and pastries (there were even CDs for sale at checkout,
including a “Dumb” Norah Jones album). The real Starbucks acknowledged the
parody shop, explaining the two had no connection and they were pursuing legal
action.
Word about the stunt (which it obviously was, dummies) spread across the
Internet via various comedians’ Twitters, so some it was no surprise that a
comic was at the helm. Nathan Fielder, deadpan genius with the Comedy Central show in which he “helps”
struggling business by offering ridiculous ideas (among other meta satirical
“pranks”), revealed himself as the owner with this video:
Now I really can’t wait for
the next season of Nathan For You.
Some big changes are happening to NBC’s long-running late-night shows,
and you can read all about them in this week’s TV column.
After some sad goodbyes (Jay Leno’s
final episode of Tonight, Jimmy
Fallon’s last time hosting Late Night
and Seth Meyer’s final Weekend Update segment), there’s a lot to look forward
to. Fallon brings house band The Roots and announcer/sidekick Steve Higgins
with him — hopefully the same goes for all the celebrity drinking games and
generally bizarre bits and skits. Like this gem:
Fallon’s first week of guests includes Michelle Obama and Justin
Timberlake, so fingers crossed for another Evolution of Mom Dancing
and History of Rap.
As for Late Night, Seth Meyers
starts his run Monday, Feb. 17 and in a total surprise announcement, Meyer’s
old SNL buddy and modern comedic god
Fred Armisen will be the show’s band leader.
The Olympics have taken over NBC (miss you, Parks and Rec) and oh, what a hot mess they’ve been! Plumbing
problems and strange bathroom setups in the Sochi hotels,
the Olympic rings mega-fail
during the opening ceremony, the fact that it’s actually too warm for any of these damn outdoor winter sports — the list goes on. C’mon, Russia, you can’t even get winter right? At least
we’ll always have this:
I'm not ashamed to admit VH1's Couples Therapy is one of my favorite shows on right now. With The Real L Word disappearing without a trace, I am finally able to get my Whitney-Sada fix (the couple is featured on Therapy), plus Jon Gosselin is apparently dating another mega-bitch and "Teen Mom" Farrah Abraham is equally intriguing and frustrating and alienesque. But the true star of the show is Ghostface Killah's girl, Kelsey Nykole...'s hair. #flawless
Remember Celebrity Death Match?
The MTV claymation classic pitted musicians, actors and other famous people in
pop culture or the news against each other in an over-the-top gruesome fight to
the death. Showdowns included Marilyn Manson v. Charles Manson, Mariah Carey v.
Jim Carrey (featuring Drew Carey) and Lil’ Kim v. Little Richard. Well, a few
years after its 1998 debut, Fox presented a toned-down real-life version with Celebrity Boxing, which went down as one
of TV Guide’s worst shows of all time. Has-beens like Danny Bonaduce and Barry
Williams (of The Partridge Family and
The Brady Bunch, respectively) took
to the ring in what usually just a really sad battle. Only two episodes aired.
So how do you take a bad idea like Celebrity
Boxing to another level of shame? Add in the man at the center of one of
the most controversial murder trials in recent years!
George Zimmerman was set to box rapper DMX in a televised match, but
both DMX and boxing promoter Damon Feldman have backed out, presumably after
thinking about it for three seconds. The fight is still on for now and will be
broadcast from a secret location this March, Zimmerman just needs an opponent.
Any takers?
In completely unrelated news, Brooklyn
Nine-Nine co-stars Andy Samberg and Chelsea Peretti used to be childhood
friends.

A new era in NBC late night begins this week as Jay Leno passes The Tonight Show on to a new host, Jimmy Fallon. Fallon previously hosted Late Night beginning in March 2009 through last Friday’s final show.

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

With two episodes of Breaking Bad left, everyone’s gone a
little Walter White crazy — you’d think actual meth fumes were being released
from our televisions. Jimmy Fallon & Co. have had a Breaking
Bad spoof in the works for a while now, teasing fans all the while with
photos and hashtags like #JokingBad.
The nearly 13-minute sketch is a hilarious Late Night take on Bad,
starring Fallon as Walt and (Steve) Higgins as Jesse and complete with all the references
you’d expect, plus some cameos you wouldn’t. Bask in the glory that is “Joking
Bad!” (Mild spoliers from seasons 1-4, if you’re being picky.)
And while we’re at it, check out
Drakeing Bad — a blog of illustrations by Barry Schwartz and Shea Serrano (who
brought the world Bun B's Rap Coloring and Activity Book)
featuring iconic Breaking Bad scenes…with
rapper/former Degrassi High student Drake randomly inserted, replacing various
characters. Again, sort-of spoilers abound, so anyone who intends to watch Bad but isn’t caught up should proceed
with caution (if at all). And may god have mercy on your soul.
Saturday Night Live returns to NBC
for its 39th season Sept. 28 (Tina Fey will host; Arcade Fire is the
musical guest) and with the new season comes lots of changes. We already know Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis and Bill Hader will no longer be gracing
the SNL stage with their presence this year, and now newcomer Tim Robinson has been banished to the writers’ lair (JK, maybe it's really cool there). The rest of 2012-2013’s
cast, including soon-to-be Late Night
host Seth Meyers, is sticking around.
New people: Fresh featured players
will include Beck Bennett (that suited dude in the AT&T commercials
who spends far too much time in children’s
classrooms), Kyle Mooney (he and Bennett are in comedy group Good Neighbor), Upright Citizens Brigade member and Cracked contributor Noel Wells (the only new female to join the
cast), SNL writer Mike O'Brien, Comedy
Central’s comic to watch Brooks Wheelan and John Milhiser, another UCB-er.
Changes:
Meyers will retain his Weekend Update duties until he takes over Late Night in February and, possibly,
throughout the full season. Last year’s featured player Cecily Strong will join
him at the desk and take over Weekend Update when Meyers eventually leaves.
Strong was probably best remembered for her character, Girl You Wish You Hadn’t
Started a Conversation With at a Party (which I still think is kind of meh) and
a pretty accurate interpretation of a porn star-turned-home shopping model.
We’ll see how she transitions into this much larger role!
Confession time! I’m kind of seriously into Insane Clown Posse Theater on Fuse. I
turned it on as a joke once, but now I actually find it pretty hilarious. (Note:
If anyone sees me rocking JNCOs and cornrows while drinking Faygo, send help!) It’s
basically Mystery Science Theater 3000 but with ICP’s Violent J and Shaggy 2
Dope unleashing their offensive insights on an array of music videos.
They also bring on
guests like Tom Green, Coolio and comedian Jim Norton, talk with them for a
little bit, react to more videos and then awkwardly tell them to leave. I never
would have guessed ICP could be so entertaining and —dare I say — likable! I
mean, I’d think they would just objectify video vixens, which they certainly
do, but there’s an equal amount of homo-erotic comments I’d never expect. And their constant
inaccurate facts that have to be corrected onscreen get me laughing every time.
At the very least, add this to your “drinking show” watch list, because that is
a perfectly acceptable pastime as well as a good way to categorize TV shows,
OK? Catch ICP Theater at 11 p.m.
Wednesdays on Fuse.
Taystee from Orange
Is the New Black (Government name: Danielle Brooks) is gonna be a Girl,
the series’ first black female character.
Every mother and girlfriend’s worst nightmare was was released Tuesday
as Grand Theft Auto V. The game
allows players to wreak havoc on the streets of San Andreas, get high and drunk
and even check out a strip club where dancers in private rooms give a topless
show (digital boobs!). So yes, the infamous game has and will continue to spark
controversy and backlash over the amount of violence and overall incorrigible
behavior, but anyone with half a brain cell who watches or plays the game can
see it is rife with satire, almost making fun of the culture it represents. The
visuals, attention to detail and amazing pop culture and allegorical Easter
eggs woven in the game are nothing short of astounding. Get your character this Drive-esque jacket and crush skulls in style!How often do you think, “Good job, fast food restaurant,” or “Smart
advertising, national chain eatery!”? Probably never, and that’s why Chipotle’s
new promo, The Scarecrow, is getting so much attention. The
fast-casual Mexican chain has cut ties with McDonald’s (its former majority
partner) and plans to be the first U.S. restaurant chain to go GMO-free. Now,
with this haunting anti-factory farm ad (with a little help from Fiona Apple on
vocals), Chipotle is taking its “Food With Integrity” motto even further.

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Country music is
kind of one of those love-it-or-hate-it genres. You often hear people with
limited exposure to music say “I listen to anything but Country;” at the same
time, area Country music concerts draw huge crowds (CityBeat readers even voted
the 2012 Kenny Chesney/Tim McGraw show the best concert of the year. Sigh.) — and we’re north of the
Mason-Dixie line. Sure, it’s pretty easy to make fun of the stereotypical
redneck Country music lover, but Country is making its way more and more into
the mainstream, popular stage with crossover artists like Taylor Swift. And you
don’t have to be a toothless moonshiner to like her squinty-eyed ass, right?
Brad Paisley just set
the genre back a few decades with his new single, “Accidental Racist.”
The song is meant to explain how just because someone is southern and proud of
his roots, doesn’t mean he wishes we still had slaves. See, all Paisley wants
is to be able to wear a Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirt to Starbucks without some black
barista thinkin’ he’s a racist (and who hasn’t
been in that situation). Between that target of a song title and the
poorly-written lyrics, Paisley’s gotten a lot of backlash. He appeared on Ellen Tuesday to rectify the song and
his intention and started the conversation like any good non-racist should: by
citing that one of his best friends is black (LL Cool J, who appears on the track).
The song is being
pulled from YouTube and music sites faster than you can say “publicity stunt,” but
you can see the lyrics here. One gem of note is
LL’s chorus: "If
you don't judge my do-rag/I won't judge your red flag/If you don't judge my
gold chains/I'll forget the iron chains." See, guys? If you just stop being
afraid of black guys who wear bling, all that white guilt can go away because
we’re forgiven!
What’s that sound? Oh, it’s
Conan O’Brien quietly weeping in the shower, because Jimmy Fallon is officially
taking over for Jay Leno by this time next year. Fallon’s Late Night is by far my favorite of all
the nightly talk shows, so I think he’ll kill it in the earlier slot with the
help of his trusty house band The Roots and Saturday
Night Live’s Lorne Michaels as producer. The Tonight Show will move back to New York with this change, the
first time in 40 years, when Johnny Carson hosted. Rumored Late Night replacements include current SNL “Weekend Update” host, Seth Meyers.
Imagine if you
were the sibling of a popular ‘90s singer/actress, trying to make your own name
in the business. You release a couple mediocre albums, leak a sex tape with
your no-name girlfriend, even star in a VH1 reality show. Years pass and, somehow,
that big-booty trick you propelled into the spotlight is now about 700 times
more famous than you. What do you do? Well, if you’re Ray J, you release “I Hit
It First,”
a song with “Kim K” written all over it. And if lyrics like “She might move on
to rappers and ballplayers/But we all know I hit it first” weren’t obvious enough,
the single cover is a pixelated photo of Kanye’s baby mama:
Cincinnati on TV
Alert: The Cooking Channel debuts a new series, America’s Best Bites, on
April 20 (a perfect program to accompany your munchies. Yes, I am 17 years
old). Hosted by Natalie Forte, the show travels across the country to showcase
local fare and favorites. Nothing revolutionary here, but Cincy’s own Daniel and
Lana Wright of Abigail Street and Senate will appear on the show’s third
episode. Check out Abigail Street on ABB at 4:30 p.m. Saturday, May 4. Move over sloths.
Step aside, oil-covered birds getting Dawn baths. My new favorite quirky cuties
of the animal world are pets with cleft palates.
You say deformity,
I say givemeonenoooowwwww
Meet Lentil. This little pup
has had a rough road due to his irregular palate, but thanks to a feeding tube
and a wonderful foster family, this little bean is growing to be healthy and adorable. Follow his heart-melting
story on Facebook.
Palate mutations
are not just exhibited in dogs, though. Take it from Lazarus,
vamp-kitty!
Lazarus was a
sickly alley cat when he was rescued, but now maintains a relatively normal
kitty life, even without a nose and several teeth!
And, on the topic
of online pet stalking, it would be remiss to not highlight the animal Internet
trend du jour: dogs in pantyhose.
Big thanks to HBO
for the shout out in their new HBO Go commercial!

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

It’s holiday time,
y’all! Whether you celebrate Chrimbus, Festivus (Google it for a fun Easter egg), Ludachristmas, Eggmas or any other equally spiritual special occasion,
now is that magical time of year where it’s acceptable to get drunk in front of
your boss and/or Grandma, go on a shopping spree at 4 a.m. and eat your weight
in HoneyBaked Ham. OK, some of us do these things year-round, but now we can’t
be judged for it!
For some reason,
it’s perfectly normal this time of year to go door-to-door singing unsolicited
tunes to strangers. It’s also a good excuse to talk to your best friend’s wife,
with whom you’re secretly in love.
Music is a major factor in this wonderfully insane season, so I’ve collected a sampling
of this year’s best holiday tunes for all the good little CityBeat readers.
Gather ‘round!
Rapper DMX spit
some classic rhymes for New York radio channel 105.1 FM:
The Roots produce
pure magic week to week on Late Night
with Jimmy Fallon and all their musical projects. Earlier this year, Fallon
and the crew teamed up with musical guest Carly Rae Jepsen backstage to perform
her The Song That Shall Not Be Named
using children’s/beginner instruments.
Their follow-up? Mariah Carey’s infectious holiday anthem, “All I Want For
Christmas Is You.”
And who could
forget the holiday collaboration we’ve all been waiting for — the reunion of
Sandy and Danny — This Christmas from
Olivia Newton-John Travolta (easiest celeb couple name ever). Apparently
everything that’s ever existed is getting rebooted
and, at this point, I think even my one-eyed cat has recorded a Christmas
album, so it’s no real shocker that the Grease
duo would team up again for a holiday record. But between Travolta’s Chia Pet
hair, ON-J’s scary Juvederm face and the following low-budge music video, This Christmas is making my eyeballs beg
for the impending apocalypse.
Speaking of hot
messes, while it’s always fun to get drunk on your employer’s dime, it is
important to keep yourself in check at your work’s holiday party. No canoodling
with co-workers, challenging your boss to a drink-off or dancing Gangnam style. Thought Catalog has some hepful dos and don’ts here.
Everything is
Terrible (via Videogum) got its hands on
a clip from a 1988 Christmas television special starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, his Twins buddy Danny Devito, Mike Tyson,
Country singer Randy Travis, old lady and champion bowler Marie Gretter and a
bunch of probably terrified children.
While Arnold’s
Austrian Antichristmas tradition may sound scary, it’s not nearly as freaky as
having Mike Tyson scream a Christmas carol into the face of an innocent child.
Also, I’m pretty sure that when Ah-nahld manhandled the little girl who joked
that he needed singing lessons, he may have brokes that little girls’ ribs.
This looks more like a Tim and Eric sketch
than a primetime family program, but I guarantee if you show this to your kids,
they will never misbehave again.It's not Christmas in America until the Kardashian-Jenner family bestows its annual holiday card upon our unworthy eyes. Peep that Photoshopped piece here and find equally funny, scary and confusing family photos in this list of "34 of the most jovially insane family holiday cards ever sent."