To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby/naming ceremony" *PART 2!"

Have been advised by the expert Mners here this needs a new thread....

So here it is.

Have printed off todays' email from the sister from hell for friends DH who is dropping in later to read, probably drink and discuss.....

Thanks so much for all your replies.... You ladies are helping me reain sane when I really really really want to lose the plot spectacularly!

Am about to sort dinner and stuff so wll update further later when friends DH has been and I know what to do if anything....

DF just read the email and is "do recycling and smash stuff" to "absorb before he comes over really South London.... . He is furious at the sister even referring to our recent loss amongst other comments in the message and wants a level head before our friend arrives...

Oh my fucking god. This woman just keeps on getting better and better. She obviously has the skin of a rhino. My suggestion would be you send her the link to these threads, it might just get through to her what a stupid, ignorant, grabby, arrogant stupid bitch she is, though probably not.

I've just actually advised a poster on another thread that they have to let the person related to the toxic relative in their life deal with them because otherwise they risk being cast as the nutcase who drove the wedge between the family. In that case it was advising a MNer to let her DH deal with his toxic parents (her ILs).

I think the same principle applies here really - your friend's DH, lovely as he sounds, is vulnerable to being cast as the bad guy and really the only people who can step in decisively are the parents of your friend and her sister.

I just worry that toxic sister will again spin this as "my sister's DH is in cahoots with doubleshot, turning my sister against me, he's behind this really etc etc". And it won't end.

Anyway hopefully her DH will read it, hit the roof, calm down again, and then call his ILs to ask them to tell her to back off.

Many congratulations on your engagement, and on being such a good friend.

May I just suggest a bit of caution here? At the risk of sounding like Brewer's Phrase and Fable, two things: 'blood is thicker than water', and 'least said, soonest mended'. I know you will want to be good friends with your friend and her dh for a long time to come, but ime families can be funny things. However close you and your df are at the moment with your friend and her dh, it's always possible that things will crop up in the future which might bind people to their families more than to their friends, however unfair and unreasonable that would seem. So telling her dsis what you think - and fwiw I would want to do that, especially her callous disregarding nod to recent events in your own life - might not work out best in the long run.

I expect you want to kick your friend's dsis into the middle of next week (or come over all South London). But lots of people have said the same thing - to pass this straight on to her dh and her parents/dm as a family matter - and that really does seem the wisest thing to do. That way you can keep out of it all and be available to continue supporting your friend.

Happily this is the start of good things for you. I am sure you will have a wonderfully happy future, with your df...dh and children.

So, she's not to Spit the Dummy because her planner was set to make Rafferty's Rules because at heart he's a Swagman. Your friend's a Game girl who's now organised herself a Bonza Bash, and unless the sister wants to Hit her Kick she needs to stop being a Stickybeak and trying to Drop In her niece's party.

Ouch to latest email! Cant remember if I've posted before on your thread but I've been following it and huge congratulations!

Just wanted to comment if you dont' mind on your issue of your wedding after your fiance's first wife died and her wider family. My cousin died in her mid 30s leaving 2 small boys, we as her family were delighted when her husband married a lovely girl (was only 2 years after), she invites us to all their family dos and vice versa and my family is all v close to her as step mum and wife. I cant remember if the family were invited or attended the wedding as I live in a different country but definitely would have been pleased to have been asked and I suspect my family members did go as we're so happy to see the boys have a lovely step mum and my cousin's widow happily remarried. You sound equally lovely.