as long as you don’t think too much about their meanings or how terrible they make people feel. These words roll off the tongue like mean offensive rhythmic melodies sung from a cruel racist, sexist bigot named Buck. Not that all Bucks are racist…let’s move on before I talk myself into a black hole.

Note: I don’t condone saying these words unless you’re only saying them to laugh at how fun they are to say. They’re awful. (Spit, spit.)

Let’s not kid ourselves. Can you think of one hand tattoo you’ve seen that looked good/tasteful? Thought not.

So let’s celebrate the stupidity of strangers and take a peek at some trashy tats:

*****SCROLL OVER IMAGES FOR MY SEMI-FUNNY COMMENTS*****

First let’s see some “Look Ma I Can Spell” tattoos:

Now let’s check out some of the “Give Me Any Excuse To Give The Finger So I Can Flash My New Tat” tattoos:

That sure was educational wasn’t it? Now let’s check out some of those nifty “Random Images Between My Fingers That Makes Me More Interesting” tattoos:

Now on to the dumb hipster side of town: The “Mustache” Tattoo:

Next up is the romantical and classic: The “Wedding Ring” Tattoo:

Take a peak at the “I’m a Badass. No, Really!” Tattoos:

This concludes our tour of shittylicious hand tattoos from around the world. Now if you still want one than be sure to be extra sure it’s awesome or you will be screwed and if you post a photo of it later online I might end up reposting it here and laughing at your bad judgment.

My boyfriend and I were working at a comic book convention and a few teenage girls were looking at some art on display at our table. The girls were chatting to each other about some teacher they hated and a minute or so later they moved on to the next table. No big deal.

Right after they left this troll of a woman walked to our table from the one next to us. She looked at me and said, “God, those girls were obnoxious.” Normally I think everyone is obnoxious and would have agreed, especially younger people. But those girls weren’t particularly rude, or anything. I just smiled at the troll so she wouldn’t drag me off to eat later under some bridge somewhere. The best part of this silly story is the description of the woman who made the complaint about the girls.

She was indeed a troll for her attitude. But she also fit the physical bill as well. This +50 year old woman was made up of the following:

white fukc me pumps

an acid wash miniskirt

troll legs

a faux leather corset vest

a pirate shirt with puffy sleeves

black 5″ long finger nails

black painted on eyebrows with bleached too long blond hair

Mr. T like necklaces

a tattoo of some ex-boyfriend’s name on her hand (classy)

orange/ almost purple tan from a box

See crapply done photoshop example:

Obnoxious? Them? Oh no, dearie. You, you and the obnoxious ox troll who picks her teeth with the bones of young teenagers under the G.W. Bridge.

If you see her on the street just throw her some food and don’t look her in the eye. She’ll leave you alone if you distract her with a chicken wing or something.

I was watching the live unedited feed from CNN.com of the Emmys the other day and a funny thing unfolded in front of my eyes.

Apparently celebs have handlers with them at these types of events where press can taunt them up close and personal.

I don’t know if the handlers are provided by the Emmys or if it’s a B.Y.O.H. type deal. But either way, this is what went down:

Rob Lowe and his 2 sons were walking the red carpet through the media chain and their next stop was CNN. They were interviewed as soon as they made their way over to the CNN reporter. Then once the reporter finished the interview she was asked by the producers to reinterview Rob again. Because the interview she had just done did not make it onto the live feed. The interview was interrupted by a commercial. Now take into account that I was watching the live feed online (w/o commercials) and the producers were talking about the live feed on TV. So, the reporter asked Rob and his handler to wait 2 minutes for the commercials to end so she could redo the interview and pretend it was her first interview with him. She even told him to respond the same ways he had the first time to her questions. He agreed and talked to her and his kids while waiting to be told to restart the interview. Now… the whole time there is this big mean looking douche bag standing behind Rob and his family. This douche is his handler.

His handler is there to escort him into the building safely and make sure he isn’t mistreated by either fans or press.

I honestly didnt notice him until he told the reported she was lying about how long Rob would have to wait there until he could be reinterviewed then leave. The reported laughed and ignored him and talked to Rob. Then Rob grew impatient after a couple minutes of boring chit chat with her and he called to his handler. The handler harassed the reporter again and told Rob’s sons to never believe a reporter, and he told her to hurry the hell up. “This is Rob Lowe. You can’t hold up Rob Lowe, lady! Who do you think you are?!”

What a dick!

She smiled and asked her producers again about how long it would take and they said it would be a few more minutes and she told Rob. The handler got really pissed again and said they were going to leave. Then she said she was ready to go in 30 seconds. Rob dusted himself off and dabbed off the sweat, then waited for his mark.

Finally she reinterviewed him and acted like she JUST ran into him on the red carpet and asked the same questions and got the same answers. Then Rob, and his sons, and his douche bag handler walked away and she got ready to deal with the next interview she could get.

Jesus Christ on a cross! What a pain in the ass that all must be for each one of them. I hope to one day it will be me sweating my ass off in a $10,000 dress calling for my handler to harass and intimidate some needy reporter.