- We WILL Be Amazed !

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through." (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 83)

Ya know what?

After 10+ years of uninterrupted sobriety, I'm still amazed.

I thought "getting buzzed" was amazing. Boy did I ever sell myself short!

In my first round of sobriety, I was training to become a pastor in a mainstream religious organization. I won't beat around the bush. I had a number of "spiritual expereinces" which convinced me, beyond any doubt, there was such a thing as a "Savior". On my first sobriety date, March 7, 1988, I learned about Who was to become my Higher Power. He called me by name, and I answered and learned His Name. But it was more like that point in time where I learned about the name He gave me from the beginning, and that is my true name.

In politically incorrect spiritual terms, I had what some would call a "conversion" experienceâ€

That bugged me for a long time, too. There was somethng wrong with the most popular mental picture of Jesus walking aroung with 2 fingers up talking softly to a crowd of hundreds, thousands.

Just wasn't right to me. It was the human idea that it was important to be the Son of God. It was inversely important to Him to be the Son of Man. Now THAT was special!

Being "touched in all things like as we.", (of course you know this) I kept staring at the shortest verse in the Bible, "Jesus wept". How come, says I, is it never mentioned that He laughed?

Then I saw that painting of "Laughing Jesus". DINNNNG!

I started picturing a vibrant, hearty, energetic, charismatic human.

He walked an incredible distance in 3 years and still did all that talking.

He jumped spryly up on that well (of course where the whole town got their drinking water) hand YELLED to the thousand walking around in the hot, dusty city square, "Anybody thirsty? C'mere!"

He had a sarcastic sense of humor. Phillip says, "Pffft ... NUTHIN good comes out of Nazareth." Jesus says, "Look who's coming. Phillip, in whom there is no guile."

Heart broken that his friend Lazarus died. He cried.

I can only imagine Peter trying to walk on water, gung-ho goof that he was, bless his heart. Jesus, "HAhAhahahaha ... nice try, buddy. Good effort. Here, lemme show ya. HAhahahhaa". Like a friend makes a friend laugh at himself.

Devastated with fear and DOUBT, but submitted to God's will anyway.

Did he cuss? I dunno. He hung around with a buncha fishermen and construction workers (being a carpenter). I have no reason to think they were different back then.

What YOU said is what I needed to realize. He DID have to be totally and vulnerably a MAN. Not only suffering, but enjoying everything as a man to prove to me He knows what I'm going through.

NOW I can grok the statement, "The Father judges no man, but has committed all judgement to the Son." (Jn 5:22) Whew! I have a jury of my PEER ! Thank God.

Please notice what topic you're in. And please read the purpose and rules of this topic. This is where we can talk HP as we don't elsewhere. Don't like it? Don't come. Plenty of other things to read safely.

This discussion is about Higher Power Experiences. If you don't want to hear it, please don't push that button. We don't talk like this anywhere else in the forum. Here, is where we can.

This is not a debate forum. We don't encourage or discourage any belief or non-belief system. We don't promote ours or denigrate others. We just discuss our own freely in THIS topic header.

I just encouraged an atheist to post his experience when he went through steps 2 & 3. Someone somewhere is going through that right now and may gain hope from his ES&H.

I also invite you to post yours here. It is, no doubt, different than others you read here. That's what this one is about ... difference.

It's amazing how emotional we become over the subject of God or Higher Power. I was in my regular 1-2-3 Step meeting on Saturday and a few people spoke on the topic of growing up Catholic and talking about how it didn't do anything for them, it frightened them, etc., and then how they came to learn for themselves that the simple way of AA was so superior to that which had been drummed into their heads growing up (which they say lacked substance as it was all form).

Being Catholic and liking it, I became annoyed. I'm sitting there thinking (but of course not saying), "you know what, maybe there's someone sitting here who loves her Catholic faith and is just a bit annoyed by your negative commentary." Me being willing to get on the path to spiritual growth decided to push it to the side and focus on the materials we were there to discuss, which, on that day was Step 3.

A little later on I was thinking about it and I surmised (and I'm sorry I'm going to talk about my Higher Power, who is Jesus, so please stop reading now and turn the channel if that offends you) that the "bells and whistles" that bring a person comfort (or discomfort) of a particular group religion because of early impressions, etc. are really just that -- Jesus is big enough to go around and has a little something for everyone.

I also figured these folks have a right to lament over their feelings about the faith they were brought up in if it brought them any pain or discomfort just as I have the right to enjoy/rejoice in the comforts I derived from it. If my Higher Power (Jesus) were sitting next to me in that room and I turned to him with an irritated tone and said whatever it was I thinking about those folks talking they way they were, my sense is He would have something very wise and loving to say to me, which would not include license to be irritated with them, angry, whatever.

I happen to think the Footprints prayer is true (He was carrying us when we were running from whatever bells and whistles were giving us discomfort).

And just as a quick aside, this site makes clear that it is not AA so we shoudl be able to have a place to talk about this. Tolerance -- it's a beautiful thing!!!

Sorry if these comments make anyone feel bad. They're not intended to.

I see the people on here that have been here posting regularly since I have been here...the short while that I have been. And they are being kind and im sure biting their tongues off as well for keeping things to themselves.

Here is my point of view, to those who seemed to have been members for a while but just decided to start sharing.

If you dont like what you read, and you cant say something nice....just sit there and continue to read...and NOT type.

I find this site helpful. Even if my particular beliefs are or are not discussed. If you dont like a certain thread...stop reading and move on. Dont criticize and complain because someone else is trying to share.

Geez....what is happening here. First the stuff in the other thread and now this. Is the moon in pluto or something.... Plutos not a planet anymore...hehe....sorry. I found it funny.

I am not trying to offend anyone, but I love this site and would like it to remain a safe place to go!!!!

Are you going to post your HP experiences? Hope ya do. I'd like to hear what went through your heads when you heard you should get close to a an HP. It's always interesting to me. Love,Tim1

Interestingly enough, initially, it was the most stressful aspect of the 12 steps (we have now moved into the stress over the specter of having to go back into the recesses of every cranny of my life and make amends to people who are going to look at me like I have six heads, but I digress. . . ).

I hail from a very religious family. I grew up surrounded by and immersed in Catholicism. Because I felt oppressed a lot of time by the humans who were carrying the message I would never let myself "go there." I heard all of my life, "you have to do God's will" "if God wants you to be X, Y or Z, you will be." I didn't like this because I believed (and still do) that you can and should shoot for the stars and put your sweat into whatever it is you want out of life. So when I picked up the steps and saw the hand over your will to God stuff I honestly almost bagged this simply because of that (forget about the notion of never having a glass of wine again; that was almost small potatoes in comparison).

Somewhat paradoxically, I have always believed in Jesus like I believe that the sun rises every morning in the East. My favorite holiday is Easter; I feel great joy in participating in and celebrating the Easter week stuff because to me its the most fantastic and wonderful world event that ever took place and that the event took place for me is overwhelming. (I cry on Good Friday when the priests and deacons lie face down in front of tabernacle as we all stand and watch).

Having said that, I guess I'm a little afraid to hand over my will to God because I don't know what he's going to expect me to do. For instance, I am not at all inclined to become Mother Therese and head over to India to work in the slums. I have no desire to be a martyr. I'm also not too keen on say having to jump in front of a train if that's what God wanted me to do.

I struggle with this now, but I'm over the terror of submitting to God's will. I can't say that I have made that on-your-knees committment either, but I'm willing to stick around and wait to be ready to do it. I don't envision having one of those lightening bolt moments; I think my HP experience is going to be gradual. I have no resentments about God; I guess I'm just a little afraid of what he might want from me. I expect to grow in my faith because, right now, today, I am willing to do that.

I'll add more as it comes to me. I'd also be very interested in reading anyone else's HP thoughts/experiences.

I guess if you read my comments about my religion in my last post (about being frightened of it) it sort of conflicts with my earlier post where I say I derive comfort from it. It just highlights how complex the issue is.