On Friday night, I fell fast asleep around 21:00 hours and slept til the next day, 14:00 hours. I woke and took a shower, got dressed, and then drove out to the venue in which "The Nightmare Before Christmas" was being held...

The event was so much fun. It was a birthday party for Drumlojik (Jeremy) and was very small. There was less than 500 people there, so everyone that I saw was someone I knew or was aqquainted with. Very nice to have a party like that.

I spent the night hanging out with Cody and Matt(E). We all worked and listened to some really sick breakbeats til around 02:00 in the morning. Then, Merryl jumped on the decks and threw on some hard drum n bass. Amazing sets, i promise you!

Afterwards, the party was shut down at 04:00 since there's a no dance law in utah county anytime after 02:00. LAME. We drove to a friend's afterparty/ birthday party, where i played records for a bunch of rollers. Rob's house is perfect for parties, because its secluded and simple. Love Sacs were everywhere, pillows, blankets. Just a really chill atmosphere. I didn't go home until 11:00 that morning, then ate some food and crashed until around 18:00.

Now I'm just sitting here and realizing just how wonderful my friends are...

New Years Eve was work, work and more work. Random calls throughout the night while I was working behind the o2 bar. " Come to this after party!" They all say. They write their numbers down on cards or paper that they find, and hand it to me over the bar. I smile, and say " I'll let you know."

After the party gets broken up at 3:00 AM by the Police because of an accident nearby, I begin to break down the Red O2 bar. The world is spinning while everyone is rushing, people are yelling "Sarah, make sure you get everything!"

I turn around, check the lovesac behind the bar, and realize something.Something is missing.

No..not the keys to my car. Not my wallet, or my ID, or anything of that sort.

Tiara was laying on that lovesac five minutes ago.I didn't see her leave.

No answers to texts. No pick ups from calls.

I'm scared.

Tiara has been missing since last night, and we're all panicking to find her.

I don't know why I even post here anymore. It feels like I fell out of the game a while ago, but I really would like to begin playing again (for seriousness)!

As for myself, my life is complicating itself by the minute. I don't know how to fix things, but believe me, I'm trying to.

Tiara was never found and is now a missing person in Utah. The hope of finding her is lost in me...How f- up is that?

I've spent a lot of time working and being by myself lately. I don't find the warmth of comfort enjoyable anymore. I feel numb inside. Ever so sweetly numb. But it's not the kind of numb where I would ever want to "kill myself" or anything of that sort. I just don't think I can be what anyone ever needs.

I also feel bad for not keeping in touch with my old friends on here.But I will not offer an apology because an apology is a too easy to throw down, misunderstood (because saying sorry doesn't make everything better, right?) and too simple to forget about.

I'll man up, take it like a bitch, and deal with it. If you have something to say, say it.

There's a difference between feeling like your life is pathetic and when your life is missing something.

I would have a lot to say about you; that you're a f- asshole, that you spend too much time worrying about yourself and not anyone else. You jump to conclusions. You call me a bitch. Well guess what? I don't care if you really think I'm a bitch or not. Because if I was a bitch, you wouldn't be talking to me. You wouldn't NEED to talk to me. And yet, you do. Why? Maybe you're addicted to the sound of your own voice in your head, refuting mine. Or maybe, you just want to hear me sad.

Just go find yourself a skank, a street walker to invest in.

Beacuse in all reality...Who could ever really love you for who you really are?

I know I couldn't.

I can't.

I stopped a long time ago, because the real REAL you was too much for me to handle. No, not handle.

Deal with.

You gotta pay the price for love.And your buck fifty doesn't do any good here.

Either way it's suicide...Cars drive through in real timeYou choose the stars in blue and whiteI love you `til im dead insidePlastic eyes look milky whiteAnd the violence makes things hard to hideOur pale faces sink in timeEither way its suicide

I`m gonna jump the next trainGonna jump on a planeTake a ticket to the other sideJump the next train

Touch `til hot times smack me upAnd cigarettes taste good tonightModern girl its time to goEither way ill let you knowWe wake up to a polaroidAnd the blank eyes stare at something newLittle unit dont let goAll I really want is you

I`m gonna jump the next trainGonna jump on a planeTake a ticket to the other sideJump the next train

Anyway, nothing much has happened within the past month. I start a new job tomorrow with a schedule that works out for me. It will be from 08:00 - 16:00 training, then a regular schedule of 14:00 - 23-00.

I found a bag of ecstacy on my car the other day when I was leaving the store around 01:00. Went in to buy some beer with a friend, came out and found that on my trunk, someone had left a sandwich bag with a few pills. Green dollars, 10 parts MDMA, should be interesting on a good night. There was also a blue christmas tree, but that tested out to be 1 part Caffeine and 1 part MDMA.

I need a beginning again. I want to feel how I used to feel. When everything was in the palm of my hand. And you were here with me.

You know I just don't get it. You know I really don't get it at all. That you would leave so sudden. Well did you know you would leave me all alone?

I think we've fallen apart. I don't know where I should start. You left me here to be broken hearted.

Some days I wonder where I would be. Cos I don't think it was wasted time. I always thought you'd be waiting for me. And now I'm facing the world alone.

You know I just don't get it. You know I really don't get it at all. That you would leave so sudden. Well did you know you would leave me all alone?

I think we've fallen apart. I don't know where I should start. You left me here to be broken hearted.

I wonder what you are doin today. I wonder if you could've ever changed. I wonder if you still think of me, the way that it was, the way that it used to be.

I need a beginning again. I think we've fallen apart.I don't know where I should start. You left me here to be broken hearted.___________

The best part about summer is driving around with your windows rolled down, music blasting, and friends singing in the back. This song is especially fun to sing.

I had a terrible month in May. First of all, my cars' clutch went out. Booo! Repair bill was $1400, for parts and labor... My A/C broke inside my flat =( Noo! My computer's harddrive went out. Bye bye music/pics/everything! But I made up for that with a new computer.My cellphone wouldn't accept software updates...and friend when brought into the VZW Tech. New phone ftw.