Friday, May 28, 2010

I chose this picture today because I wanted to tell you where I got the awesome bookmark in it. My friend Gloria makes these and they are wonderful! Check out her awesome work here!

Yesterday I was struck with some MAJOR inspiration regarding my class, and it got just a little closer to becoming reality! I will be brainstorming a ton this holiday weekend and moving towards the goal! I do hope that many of you will be joining me on this journey, I think it will be amazing!

I have been thinking alot about artist's and their fear. Fear of acceptance, fear of falling short, fear of not being good enough, but also fear of success. That will be covered in depth in my class (how's that for a *little* sneak preview??

I will also be working on some new journals this weekend, as that inspiration has struck me as well... isn't life amazing? How have YOU been inspired lately?

Thursday, May 27, 2010

So... I've been saying a lot lately about how I've been percolating. I feel the creativity bubbling up. I have not found a whole lot of time to create this week but that desire is there, and the ideas are coming.

I've been doing a lot of research for my online class. I have been writing down ideas, formulating a plan. And I've been doing some bookbinding site browsing too... gaining a lot of inspiration.

Expect some new stuff from me soon. Some new blog posts, new journals, new photos, and a new class. 2010 is going to be amazing. Who's with me on that?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

An online friend yesterday had some issues. Her feelings had been hurt by a group of artists. She felt like she had no support. When I don't feel supported, I withdraw, I curl up, I think of all the reasons I'm not *worthy* of that support. But this friend is brave. She worked up the courage to confront this group.

What is brave? Brave is the artist who takes those blows and keeps on creating. Brave is the mother of a toddler who protects her child at the playground. Brave is the person who stands up to that bully and sees them for what they really are. Brave is someone willing to bare their soul for what they believe in.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I had an amazing weekend filled with good food, family, a concert, and an extra day off of work. Today, it's back to the real world, and it doesn't seem quite so bad because my week is already shorter!

I have felt for a few days like my creativity is percolating. Like it's bubbling up, and I'm going to overflow soon. I have so many dreams... so many goals... I'm going to start realizing them soon! I've been "nesting" the way an expectant mom does. Making sure there's quick and easy meals available, some stuff in the freezer that can be heated up. Preparing for when the muse strikes and I will be too busy to cook.

There are some new journals inside me, ready to get out. And my class... things are moving forward. Perhaps soon I'll even add some more photos to my shop. Speaking of photos... Until Sunday, May 30, I'm offering a BOGO free sale on my photos. Just order and pay for one photo from www.robynsart.etsy.com and add your free choice in notes at checkout. Easy peasy.

Monday, May 24, 2010

As my loyal readers know, I'm the journal making sponsor for Connie's Art Journal Love Letter's class I have loved every minute of creating for her students, knowing that they are on a life-altering journey and the journals that I create help them on their way.

I also have thoroughly enjoyed reading Connie's blog, and seeing her personal jouney. Dirty Footprints Studio has become a place where I want to go and relax, and see what amazing revelations there are today.

Today, though, is a very special day for Dirty Footprints Studio. Connie is one of the featured artists on Crescendoh. I've only recently discovered Crescendoh, but reading the stories about how art saves is truly inspiring. Let's all go over there and show Connie some love!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Last night I packed up all my crafting supplies. They won't make their way out again until Monday. I'm going to have a full house and a crazy busy weekend, so everything needed to be put away. I have not been real committed to crafting lately, I just have not felt motivated. So, I'm very mindful about the fact right now that I have put everything away. I thought about each item as I put it in the boxes, i honored each thing. And now, I can not be near it for several days. I wasn't appreciative of it this week, but with it gone, I will miss it like mad.

I will fast from crafting, and then I'm pretty sure that I will dive in and be very productive. Next Tuesday I will let you know!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I was doing a lot of thinking yesterday about dreams vs. goals. I am a good list maker, and I'm good at breaking down goals into manageable steps. Then I keep at it til I accomplish it. I'm pretty ok with goals.

Dreams are another story. To me, dreams are way out there. Perhaps even unattainable, which is an impossibility. We wouldn't be given the ability to dream if our dreams were all unattainable.

Let me pluck a dream out of the air and use it as an example. I dream of writing a book. Well, 2 actually, one novel and one self-help. But life is busy. But I work so much. But But But. If I were to stop ACCEPTING the buts, and work towards it, perhaps it would get done.

I dream of being a success. But I don't deserve to be. But I'm ok with blending in. But I don't want to draw attention to myself. Sound familiar? How about, I dream of doing that craft show... But I don't have the entry fee. But I'm better online than I am in person. But I'm shy. But it will be a lot of work. I can tell you this: there is a reason that it's your dream! Get out of your own way and allow the flow!

I constantly am aware of how I get in my own way. How I set up roadblocks. I'm aware, and I'm working on it. I think I will dissect the dreams a little, and create manageable GOALS to work towards the dreams. I am going to work on getting out of my own way!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I don't feel like I have been very productive for several days. I have a couple journals in the works that I haven't been able to finish for one reason or another. I don't have finished products to show for my time. And, I have sat idle. Yep, me. The queen of busy. I have sat, doing nothing. Well, thinking about how I should be making stuff. But physically still. That's good right? I mean, it can be. It can be good to sit and be still. Unless you let the guilt creep in, like I have.

This evening, after work, I will be more mindful of the guilt. Not to let it win, but to find a balance. A balance where I'm not running around like a chicken with my head cut off. A balance where I'm smoothly creating, and I'm enjoying it. Not just a production machine.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Amazing things began happening when I began saying yes. I have said yes to things I had never dreamed possible. Things I would have never dared ask for. I'm now the journal making for Connie's Art Journal Love Letters, I am working on an online class, and i am NOTICING the amazing things as they come to me.

I have some goals, and these may change as life happens (like if something amazing like the journal making comes along again), but I'd like to share them with you. I have 4 main goals:

1. To seek out more wholesale orders for my journals.2. To have my online class launched in about a month.3. To approach Bed and Breakfasts about displaying my photography.4. To go down to 4 days a week at work.

I've stated them now. Those are my goals. I think I've come a little bit closer to attaining them just by stating them here. Want to join me by stating your goals?

Friday, May 14, 2010

Remember a couple weeks ago when I wrote about how I am saying yes? I am taking those chances. I learned yesterday that even when I say no, they still keep bugging me til I give in and say yes! This class has been like that. I first got the idea for this over a year ago. The idea is very persistent and it's will is to come to fruition. I'm finally at that point where I will listen to it... where I will do it.

There are a few other things going on in my life. Things that are simply telling me "this is what needs to be done" "you can NOT be happy until you do this" "psssst... THIS is a MUST for your journey". And, I am listening.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Yesterday I took the day off of work. I slept in. I thoroughly enjoyed a lazy cup of coffee. I made the sweet journal pictured above. I went out for lunch, I did a lot of thinking. And I made some decisions.

I decided that even though it has been 3 months today since Dad's death, that I needed to stop standing in my own way. I need to stop worrying about "I should be over this by now" and let it flow. I lost a Dad and a friend rolled into one. Of course I will continue to grieve. I will stop punishing myself for doing so.

The time will come when I have all the good memories and very little of the stinging pain. And when that day comes, I will welcome it with open arms. But for now, I will allow myself to feel the grief, it is absolutely OK to be sad and to miss a wonderful man.

My talk to myself would have been altogether different had my grief been holding me back from being productive, but remember how I was going to fake it til I make it? That is serving me well. I know enough to trudge through the day to day, and even to strive to do more.

So... grieving continues, and that is alright. Tears may come and that's ok too. The other day someone said a joke that sounded just like Dad's jokes and I laughed and laughed. That was a good feeling. It *will* happen again... maybe not today, but it will happen.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I've always been able to have a thick outer shell. I would let those close to me in, but that's about it. These days my emotions are right on the surface, ready to bubble over at any minute. I rage... I cry... I am out of control.

It's been 3 months since Dad died. In that 3 months, I've gotten divorced, moved, worked tons of hours a week, worked on Etsy, and so much more... I can't believe it's been 3 months.

Today or tomorrow (depending on some factors at work), I'm taking a mental health day. I need some time. I'm going to the woods. Alone. And I am going to see what shape I am mentally after a bit. I wish I had the luxury of time and could go meditate on a mountaintop for a week... but I don't. So, I'll start with this.

Monday, May 10, 2010

I had a wonderful time creating this weekend. I had no deadlines, no reason to rush. It was MY time, and things could be done as I wished. I made 4 new journals, moving in a new direction. To see them all, please go to www.robynsart.etsy.com and let me know what you think!

I'm continuing to say yes in my life... and each time something amazing happens due to that, it's like it is illuminated. I clearly know that it's because I said yes.

Blogs are difficult on Monday morning... it's hard to wake up. I challenge you to say yes to something today... something a bit out of your comfort zone. Let me know how it goes.

Friday, May 7, 2010

When you visit the Oregon Coast, you see the above sign everywhere. It's a bit unnerving... but at the same time, it's nice that there is an evacuation route. This photo makes me think about emergency plans. I think it's so important to communicate the most horrible "what ifs" and take the proper steps to get what's necessary in writing.

I recently had the discussion about "what if I were in a car accident and had no brain function", "what if there were usable organs", "what if YOU could choose the time they'd turn off the machine and who could be there", "who should have a say in all of the decisions". A bit morbid? I don't think so, really. My Dad and stepmom, as most of you know, passed away recently. And even though they were not in great health, NO plans had been made. No-one knew what their wishes were... that made it a bit harder.

So... I have some emergency plans laid out, others need to be put into writing. But I am getting there. And, I will be discussing my wishes with loved ones. Not on a constant basis, it will NOT be my focus in life. But I will let them know it's ok to talk to me about it...

Anyway... there are sooooo many subjects I could cover here... "in the event of an emergency" perhaps I will get to those later.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Here are just a couple photos to show my work hanging at the Good Neighbor Pizzeria at 800 NE Dekum, Portland, OR. It will stay up until June 1. If you are in the area, do stop by and check it out! Their food is amazing, too!

I wasn't able to go to hang the work. A very dear friend did it for me, I was working at the time. This week has had many stressors, between work, all the journals, hanging at the pizza place, etc... Yesterday I was exhausted. I trudged through work. I took the night off from journal making. I needed the break.

Yesterday at work, I lost my cool. Like... venom shooting out of my face. This has happened a couple of times over the past week. I need to get to the root of this, I do not want my work day to be feeling like it is lately. That will be a tough one for me, wish me luck.

Tonight, I'm sure it'll be back to the daily grind as far as the journals go. I think I will make a few extras of this style and list in my shop!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My goal last night was to make 6 journals. So, 6 journals were made. My wholesale order is about 2/3 complete. Life is good!

I'm sure you know that I am a listmaker. Idle time at work drives me crazy, so I make lists of all I need to do in the evening. I make lists of what to pack for trips, of emails I need to write, of goals.

These lists keep me on track. I refer to them often and I check my progress as I go. Another thing I do is I let someone know what my goals are. I make myself accountable. Last night, I posted on facebook that my goal was to make 6 journals. Then afterwards, I updated it to say how many I had made. It made me feel like I *had* to get them done, since I had stated I would.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Yesterday, I wrote about all the good coming to me because I said yes. I am allowing amazing things to flow in. But as I've said before, there's always a balance. This morning, I began thinking of how important it is that I had started to say NO.

No to the crazymakers, no to the time vampires, no to ridiculous and no to drama. I don't think I would have even been able to say yes if I hadn't already started saying no to all these things.

I'm struggling right now with some time vampires... some situations that I need to address and see how to use the time more wisely or change altogether. That will be a long battle, I think. But, I will continue to say no to all the things that I don't want in my life... and shouting YES for the ones I do!

Monday, May 3, 2010

A couple months ago, I made my first leather bound journal. Shortly thereafter, my friend Connie of Dirty Footprints Studio asked me if I was still making journals. (I had sold all of my journals out of my shop and taken a break from them so I could come back with a fresh perspective.) So.... the very day that I put journals back into my shop, Connie asks me if I am still making journals. She is teaching an art journaling class and would like me to make journals for the students who want one like hers.

I almost said no. My inside voices were screaming about how I couldn't do it. About how I'd be setting myself up for disappointment. About how these are ARTISTS and my journals wouldn't be good enough.

Thankfully, though, I talked it over with my soul sister, and she gave me that shove. "Try it at least for 3 months she told me". So, I dove in. I said yes.

I have now made many journals for Connie's students. Many of them look exactly like this. But I have now made several custom journals as well. I have made a special leather bound scrapbook for a wedding, and I also made the journal pictured at the top of this post... a 400 page journal for an aspiring writer.

Remember, a bit after Dad died, I wrote a post about how all I want is to help people, I want that more than anything, but I just felt like I have nothing to give right now? Look what happened when I wasn't even trying to help people... I said yes. I am going with the flow, and now trusting that the ways for me to HELP others will be shown to me, just as this was.