We Hear You! Letters from the May Issue

by the More.com Editors

I just finished reading your list of women I'm supposed to be admiring ("The Fierce List," pg 106) and I'm very happy to see these extraordinary women who put much energy and money into helping others. But I'm incredibly saddened by a societal norm that now considers a woman "extraordinary" because she does her job well, wrote a self-serving book, or has become a celebrity, or has a celebrity father! I'm not sorry that I don't want someone like Lady Gaga representing my sex. I see nothing extraordinary about her. I don't know if the story was done lazily or the budget was tight, but there are many, many women out there putting others before themselves and helping others for no fame or fortune. I would have been thrilled to have these women profiled even if I don't know their names.

Becky, Fort Worth TX

I rarely feel compelled to comment, but Helping Mr. No Job struck too close to home for me to let it go by. My husband was ‘downsized’ out of his job more than two years ago. He has had temporary jobs, always far below his old level, and one fabulous job which lasted four months until that company went through restructuring and he was downsized out again. At his age (57) it is difficult to find opportunity, there is definitely ageism and just plain economics at play in every decision; most companies will take a chance on the younger cheaper employee over him. So when I read the tips which included ‘don’t expect him to become a househusband’, I have to strongly disagree. We wouldn’t be married any longer if he had not stepped up and assumed almost all responsibility for maintaining our home life. I would resent him completely if I had to work full time and also had to do my ‘fair share’ of the home work while he was home looking for a job. Even now, while he is working at a temp job, I still expect him to manage all the household functions. His job is strictly by the hour, it all stays at work. Mine is demanding, requires some long days or part of weekends, and is exhausting. I don’t want to go to the grocery store on the way home and worry about making dinner. He doesn’t have a problem with it. The fact is, our roles have reversed. I am providing most of our financial support and stability. It’s not easy for either of us, it’s not what we want, be we do want to stay married and we are doing what works for us. Frankly, I think any self-respecting man would want to contribute in whatever way he could while unemployed, and should be happy to take some of the burden off his wife.
Also, the Parent Trap spoke to me, as I experienced the death of both of my parents 6 weeks apart in the summer of 2007. My mother was weeks away from her 87th birthday, my father was a few months from 90. That article spoke the truth, although it left out the irony of how many articles in More are about extending our health and life when at some point the brutal truth is extending life past a certain point is not desirable for many people. The points made were valid, my Dad stayed in assisted living for the last 15 months of his life, it was non-profit and I believe his care there was better than we could have given him at home. I also agree with the quality over quantity point. My mother became ill and deteriorated quickly, and while in the hospital we had her care transferred to hospice rather than medical, so we could focus on comfort and pain relief. On one of her last aware days she didn’t want the food they were serving and I asked what she would like…it was a particular kind of ice cream treat, which I went out and got for her right away. It’s the only thing she ate on the last day that she ate at all, and it comforts me that I was there to do that simple thing for her.
I think More is an excellent magazine for adult women and the issues in our lives. Thanks for the good work you do.
Liz Anderson

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Comments

FINALLY! I had almost given up on More Magazine. It has been boring and din't have articles of sustance for older women. I found the May issue VERY exciting. I am enjoying your profiles,love the male authors talking about the women in their lives. I still don't like some fashion. Women in real life don't pose like that, it makes them look quite silly,honestly. Kudos on the greater susbance than before!

I am a first time subscriber and, although this is petty compare to the thread below, it annoyed me to no end when the second ad in the magazine featured Taylor Swift hawking a new make-up line. What wrinkles could a 21 yr old possibly have to cover? Acne, maybe. I would never buy make-up based on how it made a 21 yr old look...40 or 50, maybe, but not someone younger than my own daughter.
I subscribe to very few magazines but decided to try MORE because it seemed to actually contain content that I was interested in.
I realize that every advertising dollar is important, but you would think that both the editor and advertiser would try to target their market appropriately.
Again, I realize this is a petty comment, but it was something that smacked me right in the face as I opened my first issue of MORE. I felt like I was looking at one of the many magazines that target the younger set.
In all fairness, I was probably a little more sensitive than most due to my marketing background and perhaps the fact that I'm feeling my age lately, but, nonetheless, I was disappointed.

This does not have to do with the may issue but the More reinvention convention. And it's a nitpicky thing but it bugs me. Your finance editor--who I assume is supposed to be "detail-oriented", spelled the More Magazine EIC's name wrong in a Tweet. I know, get a life, right? But when journalists--who make a lot of $$$ to be accurate and informed--make these kind of bonehead mistakes, it makes me question everything else she says, does, writes, etc. She's made other bonehead spelling errors on her Tweets--twice the names of EICs of the magazines she supposedly reads, other sports figures, etc. I mean, come on. I knew it was Lesley and not Leslie. She doesn't know how her boss spells her name?
I no longer will read More Magazine for accurate information about such a detailed topic as my fiances. I will stick to Money magazine--the mag that fired your personal finance "guru" (ugh! and please retire that awful demeaning term...!

I'm thrilled all of you cared enough to post your comments here. Thanks for participating. I would like to clarify, however, why More does a piece like the "Great Awakening of the Mommy Patriots" at all. We at More feel we would like to represent the movement and accomplishment and challenges of all women--not just women from one political spectrum. We do not judge. We present movement as news and you the reader get to decide if that is news. Just because we report on something doesn't mean we think all of our readers believe it. It is merely something to think about. Ironically, our more conservative readers spend lots of time hammering us for being too liberal! Please also note we try very very hard to be even handed throughout the year.

Mommy Patriots
I am also disappointed and offended in this one sided piece. As a 61 year old women, I have supported women's right issues from the start. When we send women to represent us in the political arena, let's be sure that they're knowledgeable of American history and are critical thinkers who don't get there information only from Fox news.
As for the economic mess and health care issues, look back at the last 25 years. It sounds like another case where dogma has replaced facts. The fact is the attack on healthcare is an attack on this country's prosperity. Insurance companies, which are one of only two industries that is exempt from anti-trust protections, always did fine making 5% profit on healthcare until the Reagan years. Today insurance companies make up to 50% profit while still maintaining the right to deny coverage, even after people paid into the system for decades. The Congressional Budget office says in 10 years the healthcare reform act will shave $130 Billion from the deficit. If healthcare is left unreformed, as every Republican administration has done, in the same 10 years healthcare will grow of 25% of every dollar earned. In 1985, the top 12% owned 33% of this nations' wealth. Today the top 1% owns 40% of America. Why isn't the Tea Party enraged by the redistribution of American wealth? Give tax breaks to the rich and they'll create jobs over seas. This one sided political portrayal of American women has been such a disappointment that I'm canceling my subscription.

Kathleen Hollstrom,
It is rare that I read as narrow minded a narrative as yours. You have *no* idea how progressive women live or think. Actually, I do not delegate myself as God, and do not presume to judge my fellow man.
I don't know about all of the women you reference, but Nancy Pelosi is a mother of 5 and grandmother of many who realizes that she does not have the moral authority to make judgements on other women.
Many of us are also against abortion but do not presume to make that decision for another woman. Who died and made you God?
Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann are not leaders. They are inciters of hate in no way representative of the average American woman. How laughable.
Good luck......

Teresa, you are not the only one offended by this piece. The author had a chance to present a valid portrayal of the Tea Party women and blew it big time.
I was just left with a bad taste in my mouth....not because I am a Progressive Democrat, but because the piece failed to explore what we may all have in common.
I have no problem with Republican women who are intelligent, rational, and happen to disagree with me (mostly on social issues). I DO have a problem with people like Paylin who are willfully uninformed and think they know what is best for the rest of us.
Be prepared to be accused of "hatred" by the Tea Party devotees.
I agree with you on "Obamacare" as it is so called by the neocons. It may not be what we wanted ( I wanted Single Payer....oh my gosh, SOCIALISM!) but it is indeed a beginning to the accountability of the redundant middleman, Big Insurance.
I cannot for the life of me understad why so many lower middle class people vote against their best interests. I guess they are still hoping for that old "trickle-down" all the while people like $arah are laughing all the way bank.....

I am disturbed by your May issue. I thought MORE was about woman and all that we go through and experience and live with. I will never read another one of your magazines again. You chose to portray one view in your May issue regarding woman, politics and health care and did not choose to portray a balanced view of what life may be like for some women. While I did not agree with your article "The great awakening" views I did expect that you would provide a balanced viewpoint. You chose not to. So...let me tell you how I feel...I am a working mom. My son is age 21..not a college student. He works full-time for a company that does not provide health care. He has epilepsy. I pay $850 a month just to cover him under COBRA healthcare until the obama healthcare rules can apply to him-the rules will finally apply in September of this year. I work two jobs to provide this coverage to provide for my son. Your article indicates that woman who read your magazine believe that obamacare is bad, Sarah Palin is right and conservatism is right. You are somewhat clueless on the real state of woman and how they think if this is what your magazine represents. One.. Sarah Palin is not intelligent and makes real women look like we are stupid.Two..Obamacare may not be the best answer but for those who cannot get healthcare (believe me it is scary!) it is a welcome respite. Please understand that whether I am a mom, a woman or a More reader I expect that what I read will reflect real woman and the numerous challenges voiced and unvoiced that we feel deeply about.Your unbalanced portrayal has made it impossible for me to ever feel I can relate to your magazine again. Real women have different views but unless they can be discussed and disected we will never be able to truly embrace the many varied viewpoints that make woman, life and the decisions we make valid. Shame on you for not being willing to open discussions on what we all face..good, bad or in disagreement.