Weekend Update - News Jokes

The world's first self-driving taxi has made its debut in Singapore this week. Engineers are waiting to bring it to America however until they are confident it will be able to accurately pass right by black people..

Kentucky Fried Chicken has introduced a new fried chicken scented sunscreen. When tested with consumers, they described its smell as a combination of savory spices, disappointment and regret.

Donald Trump has raised the rent on his own political office in Trump Tower this week here in New York City, citing insider information that group doesn't plan on renewing its lease after this November.

The National Zoo in Washington DC is looking to breed its tiger, so they've brought in a male named Sparky to do the job. Sparky was chosen based on his enjoyment of walk longs through the habitat and his online dating profile picture <<Photo of Tiger with collared shirt popped up>>

Florida Governor Rick Scott insists that his state is safe to visit despite the recent rise in Zika cases, or the outbreak of dengue fever, new cases of encephalitis, the spreading of that toxic blue green algae thing, a few instances flesh and brain eating bacteria, and the 85-year old man who offered a woman $20 to play with her breasts at the local Publix in Palm Beach. I wish that last one was a joke.