Activity Introduction "i feel"

“I Feel” Statements
-Explain that one way of being direct and honest in a friendship is to use an “I Feel” statement. “I Feel” statements helps us to state exactly how we feel without blaming or accusing the other person. The following is a good formula for expressing these “I Feel” statements:

When you (State the problem or behavior)

I feel (Express the feeling)

Because (State your reasons for your feelings)

-Share with the students in your class the following examples of conflict. Have your students compare and contrast the “Blaming Messages” to the “I Feel” statements. Remember to emphasize that the use of “I Feel” statements help us state how we honestly feel, take responsibility for those feelings and respect the other person’s feelings as well.
EXAMPLE #1: A friend borrows your bicycle and doesn’t return it for a month.Blaming message: You jerk! I want my bike back!“I Feel” statement: When you didn’t return my bike for one month I felt angry and upset because that bicycle was a gift from my uncle before he died. I also need it to get around.EXAMPLE #2: A friend interrupts you constantly when you’re talking.Blaming message: You’re so rude!“I Feel” statement: When you interrupted me, I felt very hurt because I had something important to say.EXAMPLE #3: Your brother lies to you.Blaming message: You liar!“I Feel” statement: When I found out that the story you told me wasn’t true, I felt sad and disappointed. I want our relationship to be based on the truth about things.

Directions: On the bottom portion of this page practice using “I Feel” statements. You may use the following examples or create your own. Students can get into groups of four or work with a partner and role play.
-A friend ignores you.

-A friend borrows money and doesn’t return it.

-A friend teases you all the time in front of others.

-A friend flirts with someone you like.

-A friend takes something of yours without asking.

-A friend gossips about your friends all the time.

“I Feel” Statement Worksheet

SITUATION
1. A friend interrupts you.
2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

“I FEEL” STATEMENT

1. When you interrupt me I feel hurt because I have something important to say.