Legal humor. Seriously.

March 28, 2007

Celery-Throwers Face Charges in Britain

The soccer team Chelsea FC has banned three fans, and says it may press charges against them, for throwing celery onto the soccer pitch during the FA Cup quarter-final on March 19. Two were arrested at the match; a third was arrested later, someone apparently having turned him in to the authorities as a suspected vegetable-thrower.

According to the report, Chelsea fans have been throwing celery at each other, and singing an "unprintable song" about the vegetable, for many years. (So far, I have been unable to determine the significance of the celery, or what is being said about celery that is unprintable. But only recently has the matter escalated to the point of throwing it onto the soccer pitch. This came to management's attention after referees at two previous matches reported celery sightings, and the club had warned fans that anyone caught throwing it during the March 19 match would be in big trouble.

Another fan was banned for a "pitch incursion," which I assume is British for "running onto the field like a jackass." The club stated yesterday that "[a]ll four people have been banned by the club and three will face court bans depending on the outcome of any criminal proceedings." The report did not say what the penalty might be for being convicted of celery-throwing.