Because they blow cigarette smoke in your face as they taunt you to get in their guard?

Nah because BJJ makes you weak. It reduces your sense of humour, makes you more precious about meaningless stuff, makes you more concerned with 'restecp' and all sorts of associated faggotry which we don't have time for.

Nah because BJJ makes you weak. It reduces your sense of humour, makes you more precious about meaningless stuff, makes you more concerned with 'restecp' and all sorts of associated faggotry which we don't have time for.

How dare you bro!?!?! We all know what happened when Helio fought Kimura. The headlines said it all; "Vitoria de Helio Gracie. Yea thats right, and dont forget it. You wanna see round two give me a call. Well... Not me, but this guy I know... He'll **** you up, word. Im gonna go create a newt account for a completely different reason right now.

A couple months ago I walk into the All Levels class at Gracie Barra and there's this guy there who is brand spanking new. He had creases in his white belt for God's sakes! So I partner up with him for rolling and I ask him how long hes been coming, to which he informs me its his first day. I plan to go easy on him and not **** up his day so that he doesnt quit after his intro class is over. We roll and I let him get side control and he goes for a what I think is a head lock, I mentally chuckle at his noobosity and then quickly realize its actually Kesa Gatame about a split second before I realize Im tapping to armbar.

"Where did you learn that?(out of breath)" I gasp.

"Oh, Im a Judo brown belt (ikkyu)"

First clue shoulda been that it was his first day and he wasnt wearing a loaner gi.

Just got back from judo. In the coarse of events I was paired with a new girl. We are doing some standing, fighting away, get a few nice gentle throws in. We get to situation where i have my head down, next thing I know she has me in a choke and that is that! When I got my voice back I congratulated her and kept my head up for the rest of the fight.

Hahaha, that was me...

You forgot to share the fact that I'm 20 kilograms lighter than you AND I was suffering from vertigo at the time...LOL...

Ive been training BJJ for a year and a half and not once have we done live throws. Weve done a some compliant drilling, but Since Ive been going Ive never started rolling from standing. So I told my proffessor that I wanted to compete at Nationals this year and today when I stepped on the mat, surprise surprise, after showing only one technique Proffessor said pair up and work throws for the rest of the class switching partners every five minutes, AND NO PULLING GUARD.

Heres the kicker, Ive been secretly training Judo for 4 months, which makes me still terrible of course, but going against a lot of people who dont do Randori twice a week like I do I figure its going to be easy day. So about four double leg take downs, two fire man carries, and one really surprising Ippon Seoi Nage later, I realised that I pretty much blow at stand up. Now I did get two sacrifice throws, an Uchi Gari's and one half assed seoi nage myself, but it was hardly the blowout that I was expecting.

I wanna hear some stories of confidence (arrogance?) in training that quickly got Seoi Nage'd back to reality either on the mat or in TEH STREETs.

It always kind of blew my mind how at my Kyokushin dojo back around the turn of the century we were constantly taking each other down in sparring. Each sparring session was complete in a way: from punching, kicking, takedowns to submissions. I have been able to take down judo black belts fairly often (you always wonder how much is them just letting you have it, though. These guys are more concerned with teaching than anything else) but my time at Gracie Barra we practiced a few compliance take-downs and that was it.

Granted, they pointed out that they didn't practice them to much because of the injuries. I absolutely agree with that. It is much safer to roll than spar standing, but the result was that the only thing I had to do to win was stand up. At times I would here the professor say "stand up with him" and then I would just flip them over.

The judo guys never work the transitions, it seems, the the BJJ guys at the lower levels never work on takedowns.

"We often joke -- and we really wish it were a joke -- that you will only encounter two basic problems with your 'self-defense' training.
1) That it doesn't work
2) That it does work"
-Animal MacYoung