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What's this blasphemy?

For seven years, I've been testing sex toys and reviewing them on the internet. Many readers entrust their orgasms to me, and I do not take that honor lightly. My reviews are snarky, honest, and delightfully void of euphemisms. . . . read more

The Leaf Life looks like something you’d pick up along a nature trail. Colored a cheery green and shaped like a fat leaf or a pointy slug, the Life comes from a line of vibes inspired by nature that I found too intriguing to ignore. And I’m glad I tried one (the right one, perhaps), because… I really like it.

The Life comes in a brown cardboard box that looks all eco-schmancy, but there’s nothing that makes this toy more eco-friendly than any other rechargeable vibe. It does come with a sweet storage bag. It does not charge magnetically, but instead one must impale the toy with a jack in the same way as with the Jopen Vanity vibes. You’d think this would make the toy far from waterproof, but no — somehow this thing is totally submersible. I don’t know how, but it is.

The vibe itself is not as uniform and sleek as press photos make it look. It does, in fact, have a seam that runs all the way around it (noticeable with the fingertip but not with the clit), and its underside is brandished with a slew of small symbols, such as the PowerBullet logo and the “don’t throw me away” trashcan. Leaf acknowledges this fact, as its manual reads,

Unfortunately we are forced to put them on due to international laws, so please do not be mad at us. Look on the bright side through, we made them very smooth and the same color as the rest of your toy so you more than likely will not really notice them anyway.

(Anyone else get the sense this is directed toward cranky reviewers like myself?) But they’re right — the symbols are all on the non-business end of the toy, on the underside, so they’re easily forgotten. Still, all of this cheapens the overall feel of the design a bit.

Yes, this toy has a couple failings that it’s my duty as a reviewer to impress upon you. It’s usually overpriced, it has seams, its controls are confusing at first, and it’s not very quiet. The rational part of me understands these facts and wants you to know them too, but the emotional part of me — and my clit — would rather just say, “IT’S GREEN AND PRETTY AND IT FEELS GOOD AND DOES GOOD IN THE WORLD.”

So I’m gonna try to explain both sides.

The Life is controlled by a single button that illuminates when pressed. You press it once to turn it on, hold it down to turn it up, and press it quickly to turn it off — which is basically the opposite of what we, toy users, have been conditioned to do. It takes some adjustment, and I still find myself accidentally turning it off when I mean to increase the power, but actually… it’s a decent system once you get used to it, and I greatly prefer having a range of settings instead of set ones. Even if there’s no way to know which level you’re on, and the toy doesn’t remember after a reboot.

The Life doesn’t have any vibration patterns. Not a deal-breaker for me, but if it is for you, don’t plop down the money. Plenty of other vibes have ’em.

I find the Life very ergonomic. I have no trouble holding it or accessing its button in use. It feels natural and unobtrusive. Like… like it was created by nature! Ugh, ignore me.

Like every other rechargeable clit toy in the history of ever, the Life is not insanely powerful. It is nowhere near the Wahl, Mystic Wand, or Hitachi. But it’s not a weakling either, and it’s definitely enough for me. I’d say it’s on par with the We-Vibe Touch, one of my favorite rechargeable clit toys, but there’s a big difference in how the toys feel.

The Touch is a toy that I press into myself a bit; it has a wider tip, and the vibrations are reverberating and somewhat deep. The Life… it kind-of… writhes at the tip. Do not picture a tongue when I say this, but it flicks a very small amount because the tip is so small and the silicone has some give. Too much pressure dampens the sensation, but I’m fine with a moderate amount of pressure.

This flicking thing, this extremely pinpoint stimulation, really does it for me. Actually, this toy’s tip is so tiny that it made me realize how much of a lefty my clit is! That’s how hard it is to come by targeted stimulation like this. The Form 3 tried to do it and failed. I can’t think of another toy that feels like this one does, and that’s saying something.

So I struggle. Because I like the Life a lot — the stimulation is unique and delicious, the color is badass, and it’s rechargeable. But you should only buy it if you like super pinpoint stimulation, and only if you are okay with some noise. Which doesn’t sound like the ringing endorsement my clit wants me to give, but I gotta keep it real.

The Leaf Life is a good deal, at $85, here. Browse the whole Leaf line at SheVibe.
The Leaf+ line is a bit different: only 3 set speeds, but with 2 patterns… in purple.

When I first saw these in person (the whole line, really) I was shocked at how much smaller they were than I’d envisioned them to be from the promo images I’d seen. The controls confused the hell out of me too for a while, but you’re right — you do get used to them.

Caroline

I think this line is just so beautiful. I wish companies made more green sex toys! And the Life is just adorable. Pinpoint stimulation is not my favorite thing though, which is fine. I’m still saving up for the We-Vibe Touch.

LucyLemonade

I really like the look of this line, green and leaf shaped is just awesome. This is on my wishlist for sure.

rocketlindy

Unrelated to the content of the review:

There’s a Lush store not too inaccessible to where I live, but I’m always a bit horrified at their prices. Good enough to be worth it? Y/N?

http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

@rocketlindy: I’m not a person who spends a lot of money on stuff like soap, lotion, shampoo, etc. so maybe I’m not the person to ask. I’ve had these soaps for quite a while and have been making them last because I’m not too keen on buying more. They smell good, and visiting the Lush store is fun, but I don’t know if they’re worth the price.

http://scarletrosevixen.wordpress.com/ Scarlet

@rocketlindy: I currently am working at LUSH and while I will say some of it is totally worth it. Other stuff is not. I say check out the website and go with a few things in mind. Test out the products in the store and if you still aren’t convinced ask the people at your local store for samples to take home to get a longer try. Because of their concentrated nature, most last pretty long and a good amount of the products have a good shelf life so they last a while. But if its out of your way to get the store its much better to know you are going like it and it will be worth you going out there. I hope that helps. /hijacking a review

http://scarletrosevixen.wordpress.com/ Scarlet

I keep looking at all the Leaf products, I think I am really going to save up for this one as it sounds like it could really work for me. Plus, I am seriously in love with the color, anything that is not pink and I am a happy camper these days.

I really have to agree with you on all points. I love mine, but it’d be hard for me to tell someone to spend $130 on it. I actually got mine for like $80 and it was worth that. All I want to say though is “IT’S GREEN!”

Since my most-used bullet vibrator was just murdered by my cat, I was thinking of upgrading to the Life or maybe the Fresh (have you tried that one?). However, I see now the new “plus” versions are…purple? Not cool. Do you know if they’re a worthwhile upgrade from the happy green?

http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

I haven’t tried the new line yet, but Dangerous Lilly has. Sounds like they’re decent, but I don’t know if they’re worth sacrificing green for.

I don’t plan on it, because they changed the thing I really liked about the original: a good range of intensities. In the Leaf+ line, there are only 3 set intensities. Check out this review.

Charis

i just got the Life + today. Its AMAZING. Its almost as good as my Form 2 (when it works) which i broke by throwing it against the wall in disgust last week. Well, its better because it doesn’t make me furious lol.

Hey, thanks for this review! I know it was posted a while ago, but this actually inspired me to buy a vibe from the Life line! However, I actually didn’t get the Leaf in specific because I’m not a big fan of clit vibes (OR SO I THOUGHT), but I did get Leaf Bloom. I was really impressed – I’m no sex toy connoisseur, nor do I have reason to be since my wallet is as deep as the valleys of Saskatchewan, but it’s really good as a g-spot vibe and a clitoral vibe. Makes me really glad to have it – I’ve used it several times now and absolutely love it.

Anyways, thanks for reviewing this! Makes me feel like I made a super good, well-informed choice.

http://HeyEpiphora.com Epiphora

Awesome! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment.

ExhiBug

I’m curious now about the noise and I can see what you mean by “PRETTY AND GREEN”. But what would you compare the noise level to? An RC? A microwave?