Editorial: Protective orders a start; more needed

A story Friday in The Daily Advertiser found that hundreds of protective orders are filed in Lafayette Parish each year, yet the ones filed by three area women were not enough to keep them safe.

That is alarming.

A protective order "won't stop a fist, a bullet or a knife," Ralph Peters has told The Daily Advertiser. Peters is the director of the Family Violence Intervention Project, a former major with the Lafayette Police Department and former Natchitoches chief of police.

Skylar Credeur, Teresa Mayfield and Crystal Grebinger all had taken out protective orders against their alleged abusers.

Credeur and Mayfield were both later found dead. Credeur's stepfather is under investigation, and Mayfield's former husband has been charged in her death.

Grebinger has been missing since February. There is a warrant out for the arrest of her estranged husband, who is also missing. The charge: violating a protective order.

A protective order is neither a weapon nor a shield, but it is a tool. And efforts are underway in Lafayette to increase support for those who are trying to leave their abusers. That's a step in the right direction.

When police are notified that a protective order has been violated, an arrest can be made. The issue is usually clear-cut. There's no he-said-she-said. Violating a protective order is a crime.

And that makes obtaining a protective order worthwhile for victims of domestic violence.

But aside from abusers' disdain for this piece of paper, there is sometimes another obstacle to protective orders' effectiveness - the victims themselves.

Some victims of domestic abuse are prone to reconciling with their batterers.

This happens for a complex combination of reasons.

Some fear for their lives. The period immediately following separation is the time abuse victims are at the greatest risk of being murdered - and many have been told by their abusers they would be killed if they were to leave.

Some believe their abusers when they say they're sorry and vow it will never happen again.

Some are unemployed and have no job skills. They fear they won't be able to feed their children if they leave.

Some feel they have nowhere to go. Batterers often isolate their victims from friends and family, and systematically strip them of their sense of self-worth through verbal abuse.

And the families sometimes may have tired of the repeated breakups and reconciliations or may fear for their own safety and that of children in their household, if the victim were to move in with them.

It's complicated and at times seems hopeless. It seems as though the cycle of abuse can't be stopped.

But although tragedies occur for some women who try to escape abuse, there are many more stories of those who left an abusive relationship, and made a new life for themselves and their children.

Counseling is a key element in breaking the cycle of abuse. Counseling is available through Faith House, but more is needed to reach women who don't stay in the battered women's shelter.

A coalition has been taking shape to help abuse victims through the long and sometimes daunting process of starting over.

The Lafayette Domestic Violence Council, which organizers hope will be operational within the next six months, seeks to coordinate efforts among everyone who works with domestic abuse victims. It consists of Faith House, the prosecutors, judges and others with the 15th Judicial District, local law enforcement agencies and others. Their main purpose is to form relationships, and to identify the gaps and ideally close them.

This is a promising idea that could keep many victims from falling through the cracks.

Although it's true a piece of paper can't stop a bullet, a protective order does have the power and authority of the courts behind it.