My intuition.
Saturday September 5, 2015

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." Mary Oliver.

This for me is a deep quote which I didn't get it at first.

My father was a bit of a violent alcoholic which broke the family in many ways.

This meant that I became like an animal... trusting my senses more than my societal mind to stay 'safe'.

I could tell by the way his steps sounded or the way the key went in the door, whether I needed to be around!

Anyway, after reading this quote many times, as it somehow resonated with me, it dawned on me...

My greatest skill and one that enabled someone with no degree or 'classic' profession, to become the UK's second youngest local government Chief Executive, was that I can read almost any situation and any person... my intuition is off the scale in Myers Briggs.

My greatest 'muscle' is that which my father enabled through his bad behaviour... I now thank him for that, even though he is long gone.

How can you use this quote for your life, and what ARE you going to change and by when?

Comments

Brum Mum Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 7:20am

Challenging, Les, and difficult to stomach but made me think. Thank you.

Pavane Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 8:08am

The best quote I've read to date, bless Mary Oliver for her insight and you for posting, Les, thank you...

Sheena Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 9:10am

I enjoy your insights Les. Even if it takes retrospect to see it - there is usually something worth learning in every experience, good or bad. A very neat quote. Thnank you.

Janet Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 10:20am

I know and love Mary Oliver's poems and something about her early life through them but I did not know this quote. Today I found it inspiring, thank you for sharing it. I was felling very low and it helped me remember that I do know that place in me (although it is a bit intermittent) where the wounding is transformed to a gift. your email lifted me.

Adrian Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 11:25am

It is a fantastic reminder for me of the hard to accept truth that no matter whatever happens to us the important thing is HOW WE RESPOND. Some good can always come from every event no matter how difficult that can be to believe. Another one of life's paradoxes to keep us on our toes.
Thanks Les.

Julia Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 1:17pm

My intuition generally serves me well. The subtlety in Mary Oliver's quote is the Someone I "LOVED". I have been given many boxes full of darkness from people I have chosen to have a relationship with but none of them I have truly loved. The few people I have loved in my life have not given me a box of darkness. I really don't know if I could be so forgiving as you are to your father and turn his alcoholism and the fear you experienced as a child into something so positive. It is so kind of you Les to thank your father for what you have single mindedly achieved in your life despite a very difficult upbringing from him. I hope I could be like you. I do understand the meaning of your blog though! I should have answered it in the way you wanted us to.

Red Squaw Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 1:19pm

Well done for reminding us that what doesn't break us makes us stronger (or even if it does break us eventually we do get stronger). This blog is one of the one's I'll be keeping in my special Uplifting Box! Thanks

susan Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 1:33pm

Ahh, the sins of the fathers and all that. This is a most beautiful perspective, Les, and allows forgiveness, transcendence and evolution of our own souls. Seeing and accepting the big picture isn't always easy to achieve. Even if one hasn't been given a box of sludgy box full of darkness by another person, life itself can be painful. Gorgeous post yet again, thank you. susan xx

Melissa Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 1:46pm

Oh Les how I love your posts. This one was a particular gem, and to be saved in a special file. Mary Oliver---brilliant and spot on. How has depression actually helped me? I've become far more compassionate to others who struggle. I also think that when I am out of depression I am actually a fun person to be around because I can breathe life into a situation. I can really lift up and inspire others. I thank you Les for a most beautiful post. P. S. I live in America and I love being a part of this English group. I love your expressions. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Mary Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 2:04pm

Well, Adrian and Melissa have already said what I was going to - so I'll just say Thank you Les, this is a beautiful and inspiring post. A box of darkness eh? I'll think about that one.

Di Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 3:34pm

Dearest Les ~
Love Mary Oliver! thank you for your exquisite post. I have impressive darkness given to me as gifts ~ some not recognized until this winter of my life.
Oliver also is credited with saying, "So tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Be well.
Lovingly,
Di

Bevan Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 4:09pm

Les-
After reading your blog, I felt this overwhelming desire to talk to you more. Its seems we share a common frightening nightmare, but my mother is still alive, don't think I need to say more on that. The rest of the works doesn't need to know my problems. If you have the time, the want, or the interest, I would greatly appreciate if you could contact me off the books. Nobody that I am close or not close with seems to understand the inner anger and turmoil I with hold. My email is bevanandhunter2005@gmail.com.
Thanks Les.
Have a great day:
Bevan

Poppy Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 6:48pm

Hi, good post enjoyed reading. But, and this is a big but, while you seem to acknowledge the 'gift' of having an alcoholic father, it appears you are not addressing that those circumstances were also probably extremely damaging, and had far reaching negative affects on you as a person. It's worrying that you don't mention that. It's not a gift, it's more of a legacy which is damaging, that you have done well is good, and you are living on your nerves and wit, probably I fight or flight mode, believe me that's not good or sustainable? Also when I take time to reply to a post it's also a bit lax if I get no feedback? Regards Poppy.

Caroline Sat, Sep 5th 2015 @ 9:01pm

Hi Poppy, it's Caroline from Moodscope here. I just wanted to say, that all the Moodscopers who write the blogs give up their time free of charge to do so. Some reply to every comment, some prefer not to or don't have the time. I just felt your comment about it being lax if you get no feedback was a little harsh. Les, if he has time, I'm sure will reply, but if he doesn't please don't take it as an affront. Carolinex

Les Sun, Sep 6th 2015 @ 1:07am

Hi All

Its now 0051hrs and I've had a full day and fly out to Spain on the 0600 from Glasgow and I still have to pack!

Poppy - I'm over the damage....its not what happens to you - but your reaction to it, as Adrian states above. For me it was a gift - you obviously feel different. We are all different and thus we cannot possibly say how others should feel - or we show no respect to them - we seek to make them the same as us. Now that IS damaging. You also show your own 'challenges' in, unlike any others - in almost demanding a reply......why is that? Are you maybe living on the 'nerves and wit' that somehow you say I should be? I left that way behind. I am clear it IS a gift and for you to say otherwise, is to really 'ignore' my feelings. Thanks for your input.....and please do not tell me what I should feel....in your mind. I hope you can sense my point of view!

Julia Sun, Sep 6th 2015 @ 9:09am

Hello Poppy. I suspect you haven't built up a picture of Les like many of us who posted yesterday have. Because we "know" Les through his many previous blogs, we replied in a different way to someone like you perhaps, who is reading a blog from Les for the first time. To my mind, I know you were trying to help and be kind. My comment above was a bit like yours but I worded it differently as I know a little about Les and his background, his writing and his style. The other thing you may not know is that Les is one of the best bloggers for giving feedback to our comments. I agree it is good to get feedback but some of us write blogs one day when we are feeling good with words and then when it's published, we are not having such a good day and find it very hard to find the right words to comment on all the replies so decide not to respond at all. Those who write the blogs are suffering or have suffered very much with mental health issue, some severe and others mild but it's good to bear this in mind. It's often difficult when the writing is so good! I wish you well Poppy and please come back to Moodscope and comment again:-)

Julia Sun, Sep 6th 2015 @ 9:12am

Hi Caroline
Why can we no longer reply to a comment directly below the relevant comments? I found this very useful before. Now we have to post a reply to someone right at the bottom of the existing comments and they can be lost and not read. For instance Les used to respond to each of us individually. Is it deliberate or can it be changed? Thanks Caroline and best wishes. Julia

Caroline Sun, Sep 6th 2015 @ 10:23am

Hi Julia, the programmers are working on it as we speak. I hadn't realised we hadn't specified it when building the system until the launch day and people started commenting! I'm told it's not too difficult so we'll be adding it very soon. It does get very complicated without it doesn't it!! Carolinex

Julia Sun, Sep 6th 2015 @ 11:26am

That's so good to hear! Thank you again Caroline x

Claire Mon, Sep 7th 2015 @ 2:30pm

Les, I think your forgiveness is beautiful...my life transformed when I started leaving the past in the past, and forgiving (which took many years to truly forgive despite it only taking a second to write it down.) ..I bounced in and out of varying degrees of depression, acute anxiety, mania... Over 20plus years.., also understanding that there are negative and positive elements to all behaviour good and bad..I truly believe that if we choose to use the best of our of humanity in forgiving...we will overcome the worst and make the world a better place for ourselves and everyone ...

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Disclaimer

Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

We exist to help people to positively manage their moods. You can contribute by taking the test, sharing your experience on the blog or contributing funds so we can keep it free for all who need it.