Green scams

I found a lengthy article in Britain’s Daily Mail reprinting an expose of what we we all could have predicted: the scams that are behind carbon credit trading. Rather than dissect the article myself (lazy me), I sent it to my friend Laer, whose business is providing PR representation for corporations that find themselves on the wrong end of the Greenies’ gun. No surprise, therefore, that Laer read the article, distilled its essence, and came up with a short, punchy post about a costly (and often deadly) scam — and one that cap-and-trade will likely make a whole lot costlier.

On a related note, I’ve written before how about my curmedgeonly little son has become anti-Green in response to the endless proselytizing and propaganda at his elementary school. With his contrarion personality, this wasn’t too surprising. What was surprising, however, was when my cheerful little daughter, the one who loves middle school and just absorbs every lesson, blew up at her father this morning when he told her to put something in the recycling bin. “I’m sick of all this Green stuff. It’s all they talk about in school. I just don’t care. They never leave us alone.” Apparently even children can take only so much indoctrination.

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I shudder at what kids are being put through and what it will mean for us in future decades, both from those who buy into it and those who don’t. And a third group, which I thought about when my partner told me about a recent exchange…

A high schooler, on hearing that my partner has lived in San Francisco for over 20 years, said, “Wow things were really different back then. What was it like with the temperature 10 degrees cooler than it is now?”

Due to the educational doctrine, this kid sincerely believed massive temperature change had occurred in a matter of years (whatever warming is occurring is measured in terms of a degree or two a century, if that).

The third group are those kids who come to find they’ve been lied to in such a massive way. As one of those lefties mugged by 9/11 I can say that finding out trusted people in your life have been out and out lying over a long period of time to make their point, it makes for a lot of anger and the possibility of over-correcting in response.

suek

Odd fact – considering the latest about the methane production of ruminants – that came from Sipsey St Irregulars, in an article about logistics of all things…

At the time of the conflicts with the Indians in the newly opened west, there were 13 million buffalo. 13 _million_!! Now that’s a _lot_ of ruminants. And very big ones…I think their mature weight is about 2000 lbs, as opposed to beef cattle reaching about 1200 lbs at slaughter age, and sheep reaching about 120 – 150 lbs.

suek

Your friend should inform his young friend that the accepted scientific theory 20 years ago was that we were obviously (no reasonable scientist would deny it!) in a cooling phase, and we were entering a new ice age, due to the particles of human pollution that were preventing sunshine from reaching the earth.

That oughta’ blow his brain!

cheat-seeker

Thanks for the nice link. It sounds like Mr. Bookworm is getting seriously outnumbered.

Charles Martel

suek, the number of buffalo when the West was opened was even more than you think: 60 million, divided equally between a northern herd and a southern herd.

Once the plains Indians aqcuired rifles and horses, they were in paradise. They had access to limitless quantities of food and would never again have to worry about starving or lacking material for clothing and shelter.

Problem is life became too easy for them. With so much leisure time on their hands, they soon fell to warring with other tribes just to have something interesting to do.

SADIE

suek:

An even odder fact (I am grinning here)….

We’ve gone from 60 million buffalo and their respective buffalo chips to 60 million registered Democrats, who don’t think twice about all the buffalo bulls#&t they leave.

suek

You can say that again…at least the Indians could use the bulls#&t the buffalo left behind!

Not much use for what the Dems leave. In fact, if we could just get them to stop spouting off, maybe we could slow the global warming they’re so concerned about…

Charles Martel

SADIE and suek, youse two may be on to something:

—In the name of Green, we commission young Sioux men to begin limited hunting of “Neo Buffalo,” the grass grazers who have replaced the buffalo in our ecology, namely, the Democrats.

—We use the s**t left behind by the startled Dims (when they realize their peaceful, ecology-minded, spiritually deep little brown brothers are hunting them) to a.) power biomass-fueled generating stations and b.) use as cute little adornments to portraits of the Virgin Mary like that winsome Kenyan fellow did a few years ago in New York.

—We ask the Mexicans to help the Sioux by returning to their Aztec ways and taking up cannibalism again, thus making sure every part of the Neo-Buffalo is consumed—perhaps with the accompaniment of complex mole sauces. However, we warn the Mexicans that if they register as Democrats that the Sioux will consider them to be Neo Buffalo and act accordingly.

—Applying Democrat logic, as the Sioux and Mexicans whittle away at the herds of Neo Buffalo, complaints about greenhouse gasses and climate change will be heard less and less. Eventually, voila! the problem has been solved because nobody is whining about it anymore. (If a carbon footprint falls in the forest and there is no Democrat to agonize over it, did the footprint really fall?)

Danny Lemieux

I should point out, Charles, that the two most prized parts of the buffalo (for e’ttin’, that is) were the tongue and the hump. Everything else should be allowed to go to waste (er, recycling).

This is as I have said before. How will the corporate sharks and Green Mammoths be able to justify demanding that their serfs make the necessary sacrifices if the earth’s pollution levels inevitably become cleaner and purer? They could not.

Thus, they must make the world a more polluted place. Otherwise how can they justify their demands that you must sacrifice wealth and power to them. There can be no justifications if there is no “threat”.

The Left have pontificated and lied about this for everytime they spoke about Bush and terrorists. They are not unaware of such things.

SADIE

Good News …(not really, but for the sake of the following post)

Effective, June 1, 2009 the White House will own the largest dealership in the USA – General Motors. Oh sure they’ll still call it GM (a/k/a Gangsta Mugs, please see Book’s photo post over the weekend) and it only cost all of us another $30 billion.

It’s a perfect marriage or is that partnership or civil union depending upon where you are currently residing. The Commander in Chief, who always reminded me of a ‘used car salesman’ will now be showing the new line of autos rolling off the assembly line. They will not need those nasty smellin’ buffalo chips to fuel their ‘green machines’ they have some high powered hot air, which is all ready in full operation with no foreseeable shortfalls. The super hot air can be pumped into the car from either end of a politician (now that’s a visual we would all like to see).

What are the chances that $30 billion is really going to do anything more, than pay off the UAW, pensions, and stuff the pockets of more uselesscrats. It’s more akin to a taxidermist with all that stuffing going on.

To be honest, I am starting to feel like a buffalo – being hunted to near extinction.

Danny Lemieux

“To be honest, I am starting to feel like a buffalo – being hunted to near extinction.”

Egads! We must do everything we can to preserve SADIE’s tongue.

Charles Martel

As well as her hump.

SADIE

Thanks fellas for the kind words (wink-wink/giggle-giggle).

SADIE

From: Firstconservative:
The Top 10 are classics.

The Political Humor industry received a huge gift this morning when General Motors fact filed for bankruptcy. The same folks that decided to close the Guantanamo detention center without a plan are now in charge of a huge manufacturing enterprise – although it is not as ‘huge’ as it once was.

Irony runs thick through the entire General Motors story. Democrats are now faced with the proposition of operating their own business enterprise. Knowing that taxpayer funding will only support the business for so long, liberals now must create a viable company after they destroyed most of it. Continued operation of the enterprise also involves the ugly term ‘profit.’ Democrats typically view profit as something that working people sign over to the government after they’ve earned it. The concept of generating revenue in excess of spending is also completely foreign. Democrats typically handle the spending portion with great skill, but actually earning revenue instead of extorting it is foreign territory.

Some leading Democrats understood early on that governmental operators might not have the skill to run the business. Accordingly, these same leaders came up with the idea to give the United Auto Workers at least a partial shot at it. Turning responsibility over to the UAW will have to be done after the union finishes its required 20 minute negotiating break.

On top of all this, President Obama released his demands for new fuel efficiency standards last week. The new standards ensure that the entire GM product line will require a makeover. Since fuel efficiency is largely a function of vehicle weight, new materials will have to be obtained to make each car lighter. Lowering wind resistance also necessitates design modifications. It is quite possible that a new GM car would look something like an aluminum wedge with four tires that the operator maneuvers while nearly prone. Computerized anti-accident mechanisms will also be required. A collision involving a 76 Coupe de Ville and one of these new European style, wedge shaped cars would not be pretty.

And then there is the issue of making the cars desirable enough for an American consumer to part with some $30K or more of his/her hard earned money. If the Italian and French urban two-cylinder automobiles were such a hit with American consumers, they would already be on the market here. It may turn out that should one want a new car, this will be their only choice. Southern pick-up truck drivers are aghast. A 35 mpg truck would blow away in a good Texas wind.

On the bright side, consumers may now be presented with some unusual service options. As the federal government already has numerous plant and facility structures throughout the nation, the more efficiency minded lefties are already thinking how certain services might be consolidated. Since the federal government has committed to honor the warranties of GM cars, service distribution points will need to be provided.

As the Obama administration prepares to take another step in ruining the automobile manufacturing industry, there are ten key changes that administration groupies are working on. Among these are:

10. Oil changes provided at the Post Office – Since use of the US Postal Service is declining, administrators are looking at options designed to provide oil changes while one purchases postage stamps. Postal service personnel could easily be trained in auto maintenance – forestalling future layoffs at USPS.

9. Auto maintenance while getting a medical check-up – While the Obama administration is running the automobile industry into the ground, the thought has been that the federal government will also intervene to ruin American Health Care. Why not combine the two processes? Having the radiator flushed and filled while one receives a colonoscopy seems efficient as long as the two processes don’t get mixed up.

8. Alignments provided by the Geological Survey – Since the USGS will not be involved much longer in surveying oil and gas claims, these talented federal employees should be re-tasked to align each operating vehicle. While they are at it, they can align each driver’s voter registration record with that of the Democrat party.

7. Register to vote when you buy a new car – Purchasing a new automobile will become a privilege in the future. As has been the case with every other governmental service manufacturing capacity will be severely constricted. Obama will further ensure that the funny looking cars that never go faster than 50 MPH are the only ones on the road. To show your gratitude for being allowed to buy one of these, the government will require you to register as a Democrat and vote accordingly. ACORN will be around to check on you.

6. Receive a gas discount if you register as a Democrat – Using private industry to coerce support is nothing new to world leftists. Your gas rationing card will go a lot further if you register as a Democrat and vote accordingly. The IRS will be tasked to validate compliance.

5. ACORN members will be on call to change tires – To show their human side, ACORN members will be placed on call to change a tire should your vehicle experience a flat. Without a Service Level Agreement, though, one might wait a very long time – just as one does for postage stamps.

4. Purchase auto insurance directly from the US Treasury – Financial genius Timothy Geithner has determined that significant cash flow might be generated by taking the money people normally pay for automobile insurance. Should an accident occur the government would be responsible for paying out any claims. But.. since one cannot sue the federal government, this could be quite a profitable enterprise.

3. Window washes done by street kids earning money for school – As part of the Obama vocational education plan, street kids would be employed to wash your windshields – whether you want them to or not. Should you fail to tip them, ACORN will be around to check on you.

2. The UAW has to operate the enterprise – The United Auto Workers are tasked with producing a product that people want. This is totally foreign to them. The UAW methodology is to show up at a specific time, punch a clock and return home at a specific time. Actually solving problems has always been the responsibility of someone else. Those ‘someone elses’ are the ones who get blamed when something goes wrong.

1. Entertainment Value – Although really expensive to US taxpayers, the comedy of errors that is sure to flow from government operations of General Motors will be never ending. Auto manufacturers commit enough mistakes on their own without federal oversight.

Much has been made of cows producing CO2, but other ruminants such as moose, elk, deer, pronghorn, wildebeast, and bison are also a problem. To help correct this problem, I propose hunters be granted carbon credits.

Even politically correct ruminants such as giraffes, llamas, and alpacas need to go!

I would also support prohibiting carbonation in Diet Coke.

SADIE

Where do I order the T-shirt?

“Shoot a moose and you have saved the equivalent of two long-haul flights.”