This blog is based on a real life story. It happens to be mine! What is smartcastic? It's smart, sarcastic, fantastic, bombastic and several other words that end in "astic" all smooshed into one single, perfect word.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Duck, Duck, Oops!

I stopped by my co-worker’s office to talk to her
about something work related. She
mentioned that she was preparing for her class assignment (she teaches, too). This week, the lesson was about
learning how to tell when people are lying. Students had to tell two truths and
one lie about themselves and the other students in the class had to figure out
which one was the lie. It
sounded fun, so I threw my truths and a lie her way. My favorite color is blue. I have a tattoo. I ran over a duck once. It turns out, I really suck at this
activity because I accidently told three truths. I am a horrible liar. Remember that. It’s important for the rest of this
blog. When I told her this,
she was confused and required an explanation of how one would accidently run
over a duck.

I was driving (obviously) to my parent’s house to
drop off my daughter before going to work. I was on a back road where
random objects, such as tires, mattresses, refrigerators and the like, tend to
be discarded. So it was a normal thought that there was a brown shoe in
the middle of the road on that morning. As I maneuvered my car to go over
the shoe (I didn’t want to run over it), I came upon the realization as the
duck opened her eyes with a look of alarm, that I was about to hit a
duck. It was too late to go around her and I ended up hitting that thing
dead on. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw feathers all over the
place. Then I looked at my daughter in the rear view mirror. She
was content as ever, as though Mommy hitting a wild animal was a normal,
everyday occurrence.

I felt really bad; I mean, I have issues with
geese, not ducks, but then again, wasn’t the duck kind of kamikaze? It
was sleeping in the middle of the road so it was either suicidal or stupid and
either way, who wants that kind of duck to breed and make more ducks? Not
me. You are welcome,
America.