* It takes 7 seconds for the food to go from the mouth to the stomach.* The human Hair can hold up to 3 kilo's.* The length of a mans penis is the same as the length of his thumb times 3.* The tigh is as hard as concrete.* The Woman's heart beats faster than the men's.* We use 300 muscles just to keep balance.* The women has already finished reading, the men are still watching they'r thumb.

---Work It Harder Make It Better-----Do It Faster, Makes Us stronger------More Than Ever Hour After---------Our Work Is Never Over-----

Black, ape-like human, good at all kinds of manual labour. Plays the drums when he's happy.

---------------------------------------------------------------"Son, how would you like to play for Man United?""No thanks sir. I've had a better offer.""What could be better than Man United?""Man City!"---------------------------------------------------------------

A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head! But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso popped out! The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms popped out! The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair. By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs popped out. The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over. The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."

New council tax re-evaluation policy wants to charge us more if we live in a nice area. That ought to mean discounts for those of us who live in rough areas.

There is a huge council house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of fierce dogs. Her car isn't taxed or insured and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing.

Her bad-tempered old man is notorious for racist comments. A shopkeeper blames him for ordering the murder of his son and his son's girlfriend, but nothing has been proved yet. All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay. Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always out partying in nightclubs. They are out of control.

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'

The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. She hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man. The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?' The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'

MORAL OF THE STORY:Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them.

a man was out hunting in the woods, when suddenly a moose appears.the man aims with his rifle and is about to shoot, when the moose suddenly says: "would you shoot me if i looked like you?"-"no! of course not!" the man replies very suprised.a brief moment of silence, then the moose shouts out "RACIST!!"

---Work It Harder Make It Better-----Do It Faster, Makes Us stronger------More Than Ever Hour After---------Our Work Is Never Over-----