How to sabotage couples counseling

Use couples counseling as an opportunity to dump all your anger, frustration, and hostility towards your partner.

If there is something you really want to talk about, wait until the last 5 minutes of the session to bring it up.

Say the most hurtful, insulting things you can think of about your partner, and repeat them often.

Refuse to try anything the therapist suggests.

When your partner says they understand what you are saying, refuse to believe them.

When your partner pays you a complement, say they don’t really mean it.

Use the time when your partner is talking to formulate your rebuttal, rather than trying to understand what they are saying.

Maintain your contempt for your partner to avoid the risk of being hurt by anything they say or do.

If your partner or the therapist contradicts you, give in immediately, even if you don’t agree with them.

Don’t ask the therapist for help with confusing or difficult feelings; if the therapist offers help, refuse it.

Constantly remind yourself of everything your partner has ever done wrong so that you stay good and angry.

Don’t allow yourself to have any hope for the relationship, even if you see some progress or positive change happening.

If you see your partner make an effort to change, tell yourself that it is “not enough” and that “it doesn’t make anything better”, and make sure your partner knows what you think of their pitiful efforts.

If the therapist gives you homework, agree to do it and then “forget” or refuse to do it.

Please note: all information provided here is for general educational purposes. It is not intended to be used to diagnose or treat any condition. Please contact Tod Fiste, LPC for questions or assistance.