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Lovehoney Christmas Gifts (Desire, Classic Wand, more)

‘Tis the season for giving! Lovehoney was SO kind to send me a big box full of surprise Christmas gifts. I knew the box was coming, but I didn’t know what was inside. They packed it with special editions of some of their permanent products, as well as some fun Christmas stocking stuffers.

At $79 USD, I expect good features, and the Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibe brings them. Waterproof, travel-lockable, and rechargeable, plus it comes with a faux-leather lockable storage pouch. It’s also totally bodysafe; it’s coated in a layer of silicone and has a shiny ABS plastic disk on the handle. That textured tip is also really interesting – nubs can be delicious.

The Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibe has several levels of increasing intensity and 8 patterns. The motor is fairly strong (7.5/10) as well as quiet. The vibrations are moderately rumbly and this toy gets me to orgasm fairly quickly (under 1 minute). Checking the tickboxes!

The shape and structure of the Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibe is pretty handy – I’m able to get firm, textured stimulation, and the head wraps around my body comfortably. The head is also versatile – I can use the flattish textured head to get broad stimulation, or play around with angles to get pin-point stimulation. The buttons are intuitive, and I really do like that faux leather pouch, which is definitely a step up from the usual satin storage pouches you get with small vibes.

#2. Lovehoney Metallic Classic Wand

Next I opened the Lovehoney Metallic Classic Plug-in Wand. This is a shiny purple/pink version of the original white and black versions. It’s big (around 13 inches long), has a 1.8 metre cord, features a plastic body and a silicone head. There’s also a flexible neck, so the head will shift slightly as you press it against your body.

Lovehoney Classic Wand

IN the box: wand and manual

Wand vibrators tend to be intense – some of the strongest vibrators I’ve ever tried are wands (especially the Magic Wand Rechargable and the Doxy Die Cast). I’m always interested to see how different brands compare.

The Lovehoney Metallic Classic Wand is really strong (9/10) and rumbly. I find the scroll-wheel controls really simple and easy to use. For its price, I’m impressed. It’s not as quiet or as pretty as the Doxy, but at $69 USD it’s a great deal less expensive.

As this is a plug-in vibrator, be sure to never use it near water. It’s not waterproof, so you should clean it with a soft, damp cloth and sex toy cleaner.

#3. Lovehoney Oh! Sexy Surprises Calendar Cards

I also received two Lovehoney Oh! Sexy Surprises Calendar Cards (one “for Her“, and one “for Him“). These are inexpensive $8 USD cards with daily prompts for you to reveal for each day of December leading up to Christmas. The prompts are on a two-sided card so you can pick your mood — one side has fairly explicit prompts, and the other side has softer, more romantic prompts.

The Lovehoney Oh! Calendar Card for Her is the pink card. It includes romantic prompts on one side (such as confess what you love about each other, receive a back massage, slow dance to your favourite song, and flirt with your partner. On the other side, the prompts are more explicit (such as have sex in the shower, sext your partner, be blindfolded, and read some erotica together).

The Lovehoney Oh! Calendar Card for Him is the purple card. Romantic prompts included take a bubble bath together, eat food off each other, go out to dinner together, and flirt with your partner.

The explicit side includes options like doggy style sex, touch yourself in front of your partner, 69er, and take a shower together.

While this is a cute idea, I really don’t think they needed to be gendered into “for her” and “for him.” There’s a lot of overlap between the two card prompts, and either the pink or purple cards could be given to a woman or man. Note, the prompts for the cards were definitely designed with a hetero couples in mind with prompts like “reverse cowgirl position” and “receive nipple and boob play.” If your partnership isn’t hetero, you might find some prompts a bit alienating.

#4. Lovehoney All Nighter Couples’ Christmas Crackers

Inside one cracker was a c-ring and a black die with prompts such as “slow and sensual,” “they’re in control,” and “hard and fast.”

In the other cracker was a finger ring and a purple die with prompts such as “hands only,” “kiss,” and “stroke.”

Both products vibrated, but pretty weakly/buzzily, and they were also made from TPE which isn’t a material I recommend.The cracker concept is a cute idea, but the vibrating toys themselves are skip-worthy. Overall, I wasn’t a fan of this gift (sorry Lovehoney!).

The Lovehoney Merry Kissmas Bullet Vibrator takes one AAA battery (not included). The vibrations are very buzzy, but they’re surprisingly strong. There’s too much buzz for me, but for an inexpensive starter vibrator, it’s not too shabby. If you have a clitoris that doesn’t mind buzz, this toy could make a nice extra stocking stuffer.