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The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
> 309 Hart Senate Office Building
> Washington DC, 20510
>
> Dear Senator Sarbanes,
> As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the
> Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your
> assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an
> effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien
> and they referred me to you.
>
> My primary reason for wishing to change my status from
> U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was
> recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my
> understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal
alien
> who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to
> become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of
> the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am
> anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it
> out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally
> have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect
> of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine.
> Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This
> would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid
> heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
> Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using
> the local emergency room as my primary health care provider.
> Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my
> accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another
> benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
> receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
> applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
> throughout the United States for my son.
> Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve
> me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making
> those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very
> important to me given that I still have college age children
> driving my car.
> If you would provide me with an outline of the process
> to become an illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the
> necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your
> assistance.
> Your Loyal Constituent,
>
> Pete McGlaughlin