Thursday, August 17, 2006

TODAY AT MERLE'S: And Now A Word From Our Sponsors (UPDATED)

It's been a frustrating week for TODAY AT MERLE'S fans. Every single day so far this week I've only encountered commercial breaks while listening to the obnoxious "lite favorites" radio station on the Francisco platform, and to top it off yesterday I couldn't even hear the commercials because a TV news helicopter was hovering directly overhead (see picture above). And since I'm taking the day off on Friday and will most likely spend the day cooped up in my apartment avoiding both the violent outbursts of my occasionally bellicose cat and the horrors brought about by superfluous human interaction, I've really just got this morning and that's it for the week. So to help the 2.75 TODAY AT MERLE'S fans out there get over their withdrawal symptoms, I present to you a selection of this week's commercials as heard on the Francisco platform...

Are you single? Are you caucasian? Then why not try America's number one matchmaking website for caucasians, match.com?

Are you from Chicago? Do you drink beer? Are you caucasian? Then why not drink the beer rated number one by Chicago's caucasian community, Goose Island Beer?

Do you have a problem? Could you use some advice? Do you like bald, overweight Texans? Are you caucasian? Then why not watch America's number one advice show hosted by a bald, overweight and Texan caucasian, The Dr. Phil Show?

UPDATE: Well, it was commercials again this morning, so I might have to force myself to leave the house tomorrow after all. I hope the station hasn't permanently changed their morning commercial break schedule, or this could be the death knell for TODAY AT MERLE'S.

And sacrifice five precious minutes of time away from the drudgeries of the outside world? You ask too much of me. Those are five minutes each day I'd never get back, spent "outside" in the "real world" in favor of them being spent where it counts: with my fat ass on my couch, surfing the internets.