In A Presidential Debate Where Donald Trump Is Referenced Twice, There Are No Winners

October 4, 2012

Presidential candidates Mitt Romney and Barack Obama sparred last night in a 90-minute debate viewed by an estimated 40 million Americans.

Regardless of who you think won the debate, the truth is we’re all losers — billionaire buffoon Donald Trump was mentioned twice.

Of all the fruitcake reality TV “stars” in America, Trump was the only one referenced by both candidates — further fueling his already bulbous ego, and acknowledging that he is somehow relevant to the national discussion on, well, anything.

And “The Donald” — who suffers from something we refer to as “Arpaio Syndrome” — is lovin’ the attention.

“As a big job creator, I was greatly honored to have been mentioned twice tonight during the debate,” Trump “tweeted” minutes after the debate ended.

While working at the Phoenix New Times — a Voice sister paper — we learned firsthand that far-right-wing Birther lunatics (like America’s self-proclaimed “toughest sheriff,” Joe Arpaio — and Trump) often have no shame; they thrive on any attention anyone is willing to give them — especially a candidate for president.

“Under Gov. Romney’s definition, Donald Trump is a small business,” Obama said during the debate. “I know Donald Trump doesn’t like to think of himself as small anything.”

That’s not a compliment — yet, Trump is “honored” to have been mentioned.

To quote Billy Madison, by even mentioning Donald Trump in a presidential debate, both candidates are guilty of saying “one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”