My guess is that this "ordination" is really an interview that occurs at 12 for a young boy who is graduating from primary and going into the Aaronic Priestood as a Deacon.

Bishops are notorious (and this does vary from Bishop to Bishop mind you) for asking probative personal questions concerning the sexual history of an adolesent when interviewing them for Priestood, Camp, Youth Conference, etc. Some will come right out and ask if the youth masterbates.

Its is an apalling practice considering that they should only be asking if the youth keeps the law of chastity.

I can't imagine why nobody in mormon church leadership fails to see anything wrong with an adult male asking a minor child these kinds of questions, one on one, behind closed doors.

At age 12 he would be ordained a deacon. There would be an interview with the bishop prior to that to determine "worthiness". Whether or not he would be asked about masturbation really depends on the bishop.

I was ordained one week following my convert baptism and was not interviewed at all. I think the first time the big "M" question was asked was prior to my ordination as a Priest. That would be in 1958.

It sounds like this was a general invitation spread by a blog post rather than an invitation sent directly to you personally. That changes things. It sounds like he was just trying to be funny and to TBMs it probably worked.

However, if this had been the text of an invitation sent directly to you then Wow, what a Dick Faced, Arrogant Prick.

I would suggest an RSVP along these lines:

Thanks for the kind invitation. Rather than trying to think of an excuse to miss the ordination, I'm trying to think of a good excuse to actually attend. I came up empty so don't expect me.