I wear sunglasses to protect my eyes after PRK (laser eye surgery). I pretty much wear them whenever I am outside my apartment, including most days at work due to the amount of florescent lighting, computer screens and TVs. Plus I wear Amber lenses at night to cut down on the sharpness of oncoming traffic’s headlights.

I wear sunglasses cause i like sunglasses? Also, fuck the glowing orb of burning hatred we have up there. someone needs to do something about that smug bastard, all radiating heat and light like he’s someone important…

I wear sunglasses to tactically conceal myself while conducting tactically important operations operationally in large volume shopping venues, because those Asian gangs going after the Mortal Kombat machine have my ninjitsu suit hostage in their vile dry cleaning shop so I tactically wear all black with tactical sunglasses to operationally secure my tactical operations. Tactical. Operator.

I wear sunglasses to keep people from looking into my soul knowing I lost my self that night to a pair of daisy duke cut-off shorts; one of those fruit of the loom tank tops; with ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes; name was Russell.

I work night shift and I can use a new pair of dark glasses as I walk bleary eyed past my boss on the way out in the morning. Something very serious looking that makes her not want to delay my exfil. would be nice.

I wear sunglasses because
“When you get up in the morning and the light hurts your head
The first thing you do when you get up out of bed
Is hit that streets a-runnin’ and try to beat the masses
And go get yourself some ‘real 5.11’ sunglasses
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah