Soul Matters: #5 Prayer Made Practical

Prayer can be difficult. Here are some practical exercises on how to use it to our advantage.

Thus far we have discussed the more esoteric aspect of the prayer service, and now it is time to talk practically about how to implement some of these ideas in order to reap the spiritual (and physical) benefits of the gift of prayer.

To begin, I would like to recount a personal story.

Prayer for me, today, represents a highlight of my day, and is a very uplifting experience, often an opportunity for real personal growth. That does not mean that prayer comes easy for me, nor that I have always enjoyed it. On the contrary, in my early years, times of prayer were the most difficult part of my daily schedule.

In fact, I used to speed-pray: from the moment everyone began the Shemonah Esrai together, I saw a "starting flag" which set me in quick motion to finish my personal prayer as fast as I could. This is how prayer was for me
for quite some time; I only reached the turning point "accidentally."

My "big break" was a fit of boredom -- the boredom of waiting for everyone else to finish their prayers.

My "big break" was a fit of boredom -- the boredom of waiting for everyone else to finish their personal Shemonah Esrai, and then having to listen to
the chazzon (the one leading the communal part of the service) repeat the entire communal Shemonah Esrai. What else was there for me to do besides stand there and pay attention -- which usually meant day-dreaming?

One day it occurred to me: If I took more time to say my own Shemonah Esrai, then my mind would be kept occupied, and I would have less time to be bored (because there is nothing more boring than an idle mind). It did not take long to find out just how right I was.

With all that time to pray now, I began to focus on the words and ask myself questions (in my mind, of course), like, "What does this word mean to me, and to the Jewish people as a whole today, and historically ...?" I even experimented, and tried to visualize the words of the
different prayers in my mind as they came off my lips.

I even experimented, and tried to visualize the words of the prayers in my mind as they came off my lips.

Within a short period of time, I found that davening (as prayer is often called) could be a very meditative, and therefore relaxing experience. Better than that, for the first time ever (and I wouldn't have believed it possible), I felt -- literally "felt" -- as if I was talking with God Himself, and not just "at" Him.

PRAYER TIPS

So here are my prayer tips:

Take your time. Look at prayer, especially the Shemonah Esrai section, as a time to "get away from it all" -- quiet time of your own to relax and meditate. Obviously, the more serious the minyan (prayer group) is about praying, the easier this step is to achieve. Patience and relaxation are crucial keys for successful prayer.

Try to visualize each word, or, at least "key" words as they pass quietly through your lips. It helps tremendously to take some time during non-praying moments to jot down some ideas about what each prayer means to you personally and your life, and the Jewish people in general. For example, one of the first prayers in Shemonah Esrai talks about God giving man the capacity to understand knowledge. Ask yourself, "Where would I be today without knowledge, or understanding?" Prayer becomes far more exhilarating when we stop taking the blessings of life for granted.

For additional "homework," try simple meditation at quiet moments of your day. Prayer demands that we block out the outside world for the duration of the prayer period. That's like asking a train traveling at 80 m.p.h. to stop on a dime and change directions -- not an easy task to do! Developing control over your mind to the point that you can make it dwell on whatever you want it to, whenever you want it to, is a great asset, not just to enhance prayer, but life itself!

Try not to pray "at" God, but "to" God. This means developing a relationship with God, which can take time. Some people talk with God during the course of the day as if He is right there next to them (which He is), though it is recommended to do this while ALONE, so people won't write you off as a lunatic!

My prayer "break-through" happened some fifteen years ago. Since then, I've had my "ups" and my "downs" with respect to davening -- some good prayer sessions and some less-than-good ones. However, overall, prayer for me remains to be an extremely important part of my day for getting in touch with God, with my own inner being, and for getting my priorities straight.

(If this is true for the everyday prayer service, how much more so is this the case for the Shabbat prayers and the High Holiday services?)

Since that time, I have increased my Torah understanding, which includes a deeper understanding of the dynamics of Jewish history, and a better appreciation of the purpose of creation and man's role within that creation. So, one last tip:

Do research. The prayer service is more than just a period of time to meditate on God and the blessings and shortcomings in your life. Wrapped up in the prayer service are the goals and the hopes of the Jewish people. Taking the time to understand and appreciate those goals and hopes will create a stronger bond between you, God, and other Jews -- and make your time of prayer a tremendously self-fulfilling opportunity.

All of this has helped me, and many others, to transform what were once "strange" words from ancient wise men whom we never met, into words that flow from our own hearts -- words that allow us to move from one level of soul to another.

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About the Author

Rabbi Pinchas Winston, an Aish alumni, is the author of over 50 books on Torah philosophy, the weekly parshah sheet PERCEPTIONS, and his site Thirtysix.org. He hosts the “Ask the Rabbi” radio show for Arutz Sheva (Israel National Radio), and is in the process of translating into English "Sha’ar HaGilgulim," the Arizal’s work on reincarnation (completed chapters can be viewed at: http://shaarhagilgulim.thirtysix.org/Shaar_HaGilgulim/Introduction.html).

Visitor Comments: 4

It's so important to know that others struggle, too. Prayer can be incredibly uplifting, or it can be a meaningless chore. It helps to know that others are working on the same issues - even rabbis!

Ady,
April 29, 2013 6:36 AM

How true your statement is!

Andrew, you may not realize just how true your statement is / was. We all struggle at times in our prayer lives, even though we all know all to well of the importance of maintaining our personal prayer life with HASHEM. We all fail from time to time, some more than others, but we must persevere no matter how hard it may seem to be.

(2)
Anonymous,
June 26, 2000 12:00 AM

Any other ideas out there?

I've been struggling myself with my davening lately... feels like a burden and obligation, rather than something beneficial. Are there any other ideas people can contribute, about how they've made their davening a better experience?

(1)
Bob Burg,
June 25, 2000 12:00 AM

Extremely helpful

This excellent article was extremely helpful to me. Concentration during davening is always difficult for me, as I'm very hyperactive and my mind constantly wanders. This is followed by feelings of guilt as a result of the lack of concentration. In this article, Rabbi provided some excellent tips for reframing the prayer session that I plan to implement. Thank you for some great advice.

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I just got married and have an important question: Can we eat rice on Passover? My wife grew up eating it, and I did not. Is this just a matter of family tradition?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chametz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chametz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. Chametz is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Hence the category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chametz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

Products of kitniyot often appear like chametz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chametz). Also, chametz grains may become inadvertently mixed together with kitniyot. Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot were prohibited.

In Jewish law, there is one important distinction between chametz and kitniyot. During Passover, it is forbidden to even have chametz in one's possession (hence the custom of "selling chametz"). Whereas it is permitted to own kitniyot during Passover and even to use it - not for eating - but for things like baby powder which contains cornstarch. Similarly, someone who is sick is allowed to take medicine containing kitniyot.

What about derivatives of kitniyot - e.g. corn oil, peanut oil, etc? This is a difference of opinion. Many will use kitniyot-based oils on Passover, while others are strict and only use olive or walnut oil.

Finally, there is one product called "quinoa" (pronounced "ken-wah" or "kin-o-ah") that is permitted on Passover even for Ashkenazim. Although it resembles a grain, it is technically a grass, and was never included in the prohibition against kitniyot. It is prepared like rice and has a very high protein content. (It's excellent in "cholent" stew!) In the United States and elsewhere, mainstream kosher supervision agencies certify it "Kosher for Passover" -- look for the label.

Interestingly, the Sefardi Jewish community does not have a prohibition against kitniyot. This creates the strange situation, for example, where one family could be eating rice on Passover - when their neighbors will not. So am I going to guess here that you are Ashkenazi and your wife is Sefardi. Am I right?

Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Moses ben Nachman (1194-1270), known as Nachmanides, and by the acronym of his name, Ramban. Born in Spain, he was a physician by trade, but was best-known for authoring brilliant commentaries on the Bible, Talmud, and philosophy. In 1263, King James of Spain authorized a disputation (religious debate) between Nachmanides and a Jewish convert to Christianity, Pablo Christiani. Nachmanides reluctantly agreed to take part, only after being assured by the king that he would have full freedom of expression. Nachmanides won the debate, which earned the king's respect and a prize of 300 gold coins. But this incensed the Church: Nachmanides was charged with blasphemy and he was forced to flee Spain. So at age 72, Nachmanides moved to Jerusalem. He was struck by the desolation in the Holy City -- there were so few Jews that he could not even find a minyan to pray. Nachmanides immediately set about rebuilding the Jewish community. The Ramban Synagogue stands today in Jerusalem's Old City, a living testimony to his efforts.

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

It is the nature of a person to be influenced by his fellows and comrades (Rambam, Hil. De'os 6:1).

We can never escape the influence of our environment. Our life-style impacts upon us and, as if by osmosis, penetrates our skin and becomes part of us.

Our environment today is thoroughly computerized. Computer intelligence is no longer a science-fiction fantasy, but an everyday occurrence. Some computers can even carry out complete interviews. The computer asks questions, receives answers, interprets these answers, and uses its newly acquired information to ask new questions.

Still, while computers may be able to think, they cannot feel. The uniqueness of human beings is therefore no longer in their intellect, but in their emotions.

We must be extremely careful not to allow ourselves to become human computers that are devoid of feelings. Our culture is in danger of losing this essential aspect of humanity, remaining only with intellect. Because we communicate so much with unfeeling computers, we are in danger of becoming disconnected from our own feelings and oblivious to the feelings of others.

As we check in at our jobs, and the computer on our desk greets us with, "Good morning, Mr. Smith. Today is Wednesday, and here is the agenda for today," let us remember that this machine may indeed be brilliant, but it cannot laugh or cry. It cannot be happy if we succeed, or sad if we fail.

Today I shall...

try to remain a human being in every way - by keeping in touch with my own feelings and being sensitive to the feelings of others.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...