Say hello to the Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse: Tedious, Pointless, Unfunny and Dull… Time marches mercilessly on in ‘Sex and the City 2,’ and Carrie and company have begun to resemble ‘The Golden Girls.’

I once watched Béla Tarr’s Sátántangó, the legendary, gloomy black-and-white Hungarian film that lasts for seven and a half hours. Compared to the Abu Dhabi section of Sex and the City 2, Sátántangó zips past like an episode of Spongebob Squarepants.

The red warning lights really go off when it’s time to start the ceremony with … wait for this … Liza Minnelli officiating. And then Minnelli sticks around to sing (and dance) Beyonce‘s “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It).” Oh the horror, the horror.

The Herald may be onto something. Before planning Sex and the City 3, producers might want to consider how many reviews mention The Golden Girls.