We love you. Have we mentioned that? (Or is it obvious b/c we dedicate TONS of time from our EXTREMELY busy lives to blogging about Twilight?) We love your books. We love your storytelling. We don’t care that you overuse the word “irrevocably.” We don’t care that there wasn’t a major battle at the end of Breaking Dawn. We’re successful, independent, driven woman who know your book(s) aren’t meant to be anti-feminist. You had a dream about the most perfect man in the universe, and you wrote a bestselling series about it. We Get That.

What we don’t get is what happens when Bella gets her period? Does Edward just go away for 3-7 days? If so, where does he go? Or isn’t that blood appealing to him because it comes out of Bella’s “hoo-hoo” and that’s so sicknast? (holla Lauren’s Bite for that word) Or is it that much MORE appealing to him because it comes out of Bella’s “hoo hoo” and he wants to “tap that?” (Um, I need to re-read YOUR books because I just said “hoo-hoo” and “tap-that” in the same sentence which unfortunately resembles Fan-Fic rather than your beautiful, literary work(s).)

The person who made this marketing decision should be fired.

Are you wondering where this random question came from? Well, it might be because Moon found this wonderful advertisement for o.b. tampons featuring a vampire with tampons as his teeth.

Uh, we might want to check with the expert, Lauren, over at Lauren’s Bite, but I think we can also categorize this advertisement as sicknast.

So, we’d just like a little clarity on this issue because it really bothers us that the bloodthirsty perfect vampire, Edward, doesn’t seem to be bothered by Bella’s friendly neighborhood visitor who likes to come every 28 days or so.

Update 3/18: Someone from o.b. tampons left us a comment saying: ‘I’d like to clarify that this image is not one of our advertisements; it was drafted by our ad agency in Switzerland and was rejected, as it does not reflect our values and standards.” Just an FYI! A vampire will not come after your hoo-hoo if you use their tampons!

So, we’ve had a “Dirt” post drafted for awhile now and have learned the lesson that in the fast-paced world of Twilight news, you gotta post the dirt QUICK, or it becomes old news fast. For example, here is the dirt we had drafted before today:

Kim @ BuddyTV e-mailed us to tell us she got really bored at work Friday and came up with 10 ways to make New Moon awesome. First of all, love the ideas, Kim (especially #1), Secondly, KILL ME NOW that you have a job where you get paid to come up with stuff like this! I’m not consumed with jealously. Nope. Not at all.

A bunch of the New Moon cast left Vancouver. We know Ashley was in NYC Saturday, Kirsten was in LA, Rob was in my bed Arkansas, and the jury is still out on where the others are.

When I first heard that Twilight was being made into a parody/musical, I was excited to see how it would turn out. I love well-done parody’s. If you’re wondering if I think that part 1 of Twilight the Musical is a well-done parody, well, eavesdrop on the convo I just had with my husband and see if you can guess what I thought:

Me: I am so 2nd-hand embarrassed, yet I will continue to watch this
Husband: I am 3rd-hand embarrassed (that’s a whole new levelof embarrassment)

See for yourself:

I realize this is supposed to be stupid & funny. But it’s just stupid, not funny. Sorry Twilight the Musical people. I promise we’ll post part 2, but could you make it less stupid and more funny? Thanks.

I’m kinda mad that I just wasted 6:43 of my life, so I’m not even posting anymore dirt.