Online Parent Support Chat

6.11.08

I was in the middle of a 'melt down' with my son...

I was in the middle of a 'melt down' with my son. Brandon is 17 years old. And he is really a very good kid this has been the first huge problem I have had with him. Anyway, his school called and said he had been truant for the third time ... they were going to give him a detention but next time they would suspend him. So when I got home from work I went to his room sat on the bed and asked what was going on ... he didn't have a answer or didn't want to talk about it so I grounded him for two weeks (I know now ... big mistake!!! )

...The next night was Halloween and he had a party to go to and he asked if he could start his grounding the next day ... I said that it didn't work that way sorry ... we got into an argument ... he left and went to the party anyway. Before leaving I told him that he had better not disobey me or there would be consequences ... but he left anyway. So I went to his room, unhooked his computer (which I bought him for christmas last year) and moved the hard drive into my bedroom closet, unhooked his TV (which I bought him a few years ago for his birthday) and with some difficulty moved that to my bedroom closet, and left his playstation (which he bought with his own money) but left a note telling him not to hook it up to any other TV in the house. I got up the next morning to find the note on the floor in the hallway and the playstation hooked up to the TV in the loft.

Everyday for the past 6 days he has argued with everyone in the house, called his sister a bitch, almost got into a fist fight with his older brother (who he normally treats like a god) and has told his stepfather to fuck off and when I told him that was unacceptable he said "fuck you mom" and he has left the house 3 out of the 6 nights in a huff and comes home around 12:30 or 1:00 and has threatened on 4 separate occasions to go stay with his dad ... which he knows pushes my buttons. The whole entire house it at wits end ... my husband has threatened to leave if I don't get tougher with him ... but I'm thinking that I pulled out the big guns too soon and now I don't know if I should be back stepping. The kid is literally climbing the walls and to be perfectly honest his behaviour is so uncharacteristic I know I need to pull back but I don't know how. I was thinking if I said to him if he finds a part time job (something I've been bugging him to do since he finished his summer job) that I will consider letting up on the grounding ... or if he paints the garage ... or something to that effect.