Friday, September 26, 2008

ok...

So I am a mess right now..... really drunk... and not ok...I miss my grnadmother way too much... I break down once or twice a week and seldomly am depress. I wanna be happy, but I am now...

I am miserable... I have all this great stuff and all these great oppurtunities.... but I am not happy... and i don't get it...

I want someone to love.... but do I:???? I want to be amazing at everything like when i was oyounger ... but do I want to be that person...? I can't find a happy medium and it is freakin me out ... granted this will all prob be diff tomorrow morning.... I think I will listen to some Amy Winehouse and Jay Brannan... maybe I will feel better... fuck you, fuck me... and die :)