Sharing Life's Lessons on Living in this World and yet being Above it!

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Sunday, October 12, 2014

“Demanding faithfulness is like demanding slavery”

The best
way to have wonderful relationships is to do two things: never expect anything
from it or from someone and always respect the other person.

When we expect someone to be what we want
them to be, we are not respecting the person as a special, unique individual.
Wherever expectation rises, respect often goes out. Much of the problem in
marital or personal relationships is because there is an expectation of
faithfulness. While it is important that deceit or cheating must be avoided in
any relationship, the nature of the expectation of faithfulness is an indicator
that we have stopped respecting the other person. To be faithful cannot mean
living someone else's Life. Or you cannot insist that someone live their Life
as you want them to for you to be able to call them faithful. To be faithful
means to be true to yourself, first doing what you want to do as long as it
will not hurt or harm anyone else. When all people in a relationship are true
to themselves, and don't harm each other, a harmonious environment is born that
respects each individual in it. That's when relationships become meaningful and
stand the test of time.

Osho, the Master, argues this perspective
immensely well: "Who are you to demand faithfulness from anyone else?
Demanding faithfulness is like demanding slavery. There's a misconception in
people that love must be permanent. Only stones are permanent. To ask for faithfulness
is wrong. There was a season__the spring, the faith, the love arose in you. You
did not create it. It was just a happening. Just like a breeze it comes and
just like a breeze it goes. When it comes, rejoice. And when it goes, say
good-bye. Millions of couples in the world know there's no love between them
anymore. But for the sake of society, reputation, for respectability, they go
on pretending they love each other. This pretention is the real sin, the real
crime."

This is
not to conclude however that love cannot be eternal between people. It can be
eternal. As long as there is respect for the other person and you have no
expectations of that person, while being true to yourself first in the
relationship.