Hai gaiz: story time. So, we’re conducting our daily interwebs perusal for all things worthy of treatment by snark. Said quest takes us to SF Gate and a piece on antimatter atoms[1]. Specifically, a group of UC Berkeley physicists at the Lawrence Berkeley Lab successfully trapped a couple dozen of those babies — and by babies we mean “the stuff that annihilates ordinary matter in a single explosive flash of energy.“

Clearly not so much material for satire as really freaking cool. Granted, our familiarity with antimatter is limited to an incredibly superficial understanding of the Big Bang Theory and Star Trek’s ships’ ability to go super duper fast. But it doesn’t take a ton of imagination to grasp the achievement’s staggering implications, such as the vastly improved possibility for future experiments that could unlock little things like the mysteries of the universe.

NBD. And so we’re sitting at the computer reflecting on the unbelievable scientific progress transpiring right in our backyard, which smoothly segues into an internal monologue mourning the general indifference of America’s populace to the future that is coming at them quicker than you can say “Snooki’s tiara is sooo trashy” …

And in the middle of this mental tangent, our eyes drift to the side-bar on the right, where a list of most-read articles ranks “Pink is pregnant”[2] at number seven.