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How To: Be A Girlboss

posted on: Tuesday, April 24, 2018

It seems like every girl and her mother these days is talking about being a girlboss, but no -one is really telling you how to be a girlboss. Besides letting everyone know you’re in charge with a slogan tee, read on to find out what else you can do to kick some ass Sophie Amoruso style.

What does girlboss even mean these days? It seems like the buzzword gets thrown around like a hot feminist potato. Is it a girl who is actually a boss? Is it being a bad ass chick? Does it mean you’re just bossy? Maybe it means something different for every person but whether or not you own your own business, there’s a few tried and true ways to own your life. I’ve whittled it down to a few points that I’ve learnt the hard way over my lifetime so far, so you don’t have to. Some of the points may seem simple enough, but the truth is, not many people really understand them until they have learnt them the way I did . Read on for some tips on achieving boss bitch status. Then read them again.

1/ dress the part

I know I talk a lot about wearing pyjamas, what the most comfortable sweatpants are and why tracksuits should be an acceptable form of event wear, but I’ve come to realise that when I dress like I’m about to fall asleep anywhere, that’s exactly what happens.

Just because you work from home, it doesn’t mean you should dress like you’re at home. Whenever I wear sweat pants and a an old comfy tee, I’m pretty much ready to curl up in a ball in front of the tv with a bowl of ice cream and start watching documentaries on the universe or That 70s Show. Not the most productive thing to be doing when you’ve got a tonne of work that needs to be done and even more assignments that you forgot about.

So, in an attempt to get more shit done, I’ve traded in the sweats and boyfriend tees for something a little more put together. And this isn’t just for working at home; dressing that part is great for looking the part when you’re out and about too (even if it’s just grocery shopping or picking up some bread from the gas station), because nobody’s gonna take your business/work/self seriously when you’re dressed for bed.

It might seem weird to dress up when you’re at home (especially when you’re by yourself) but throwing on some streamlined pants (or even jeans), tucking your shirt in and maybe even throwing some heels on gets you into that worker mentality and helps boost your own productivity.

Try it and let me know if it works for you.

2/ stand up for yourself

My parents pretty much did everything for me growing up. I was taught that as long as I did well in school, everything would be taken care of. I wouldn’t need to work while studying and I wouldn’t need to pay for anything either. Sounds like a great first world problem to have, right? To be able to pretty much cruise through life while the rest of my school was struggling with school work and real work where they were studying at home then going out to flip burgers, during most of what would have been their free time.

On the flip side (get it?) I didn’t really know how to do anything for myself (including pay for something at the shops) and I eventually got tired of being a people pleaser. My friends would be at work anyway during times I had nothing to do so I would end up skipping out on school to hang out with them during their free breaks and long story short; I ended up running away for a year. Shortly after leaving the comfort of my parent’s home for a very dangerous neighbourhood, I had to really quickly learn how to stand up for myself. It was either eat or get eaten or in my case, stand up for yourself or end up getting bashed and mugged.

Looking back, it probably was the most ill-thought out thing I ever did in my life, but I don’t regret it because it taught me a valuable lesson in confidence. After leaving home, I quickly went from over-privileged school girl to someone who had to make snap decisions without worrying about offending or hurting other people. This quickly translated over to work once I started my own business and helped me in making sure I wasn’t accepting less than my worth for jobs. And while I don’t suggest running away to gain some confidence, I do recommend taking a look at any habits that may be holding you back. It’s surprising how much those little routines and habits (like wearing the same comfortable outfit overtime you of out) may be affecting your overall confidence and life. If you don’t like the way something is, then voice your issues with it because it always seems a bigger deal than it usually is, in your own head.

3/ audit your (entire) life

This means, your work ethic, your social circle, your wardrobe, your habits. Everything. I believe everything in this universe is connected and that goes for everything in my immediate life too.

You can’t be a boss babe if you’re still hanging out with that group of friends who drinks to get wasted every weekend. Well, maybe some people can but if that’s you, I’d really like to know your secrets. You can’t have a positive mind set if you’re friends are the type who sit around and complain about their lives or bitch about other people. I’m sure we all have friends like this and we know they’re not helping us so cut out those people who aren’t serving you in a positive way. Fill your circle with those who push you to be better.

And it’s not just about your social group. Look at your job, does it make you happy? If not, take steps to change that. It’s always easier said than done but it can always be done if you want it that badly. Cull your wardrobe. Anything that hasn’t seen the light of day in the past year should be donated or given away to someone who will make use of it. This is also a great way to audit your self image. It doesn’t just stop at the wardrobe though. Why not go through your entire home and get rid of those things that have no purpose anymore – things from exes or old friends, things that once had sentimental value or those things that are broken that you keep telling yourself you’ll fix. If it’s been a month and it’s still broken, it’s not getting fixed. You’ll be surprised at just how much auditing your life in these small ways can make a difference to how you live.

At the start of this year, I wrote down some areas in my life to audit, including friends, work and health and it’s made such a huge difference to my productivity and especially to my mood. It’s always good to clean out the clutter regularly that life inevitably brings. Get rid of anything that doesn’t align with your vision and beliefs and watch it change your life.

4/ be kind

There’s being a boss ass bitch and then there’s being a bitch. These are not the same thing. It’s very possible to be able to stand up for yourself and have confidence while being kind at the same time.

I’ve met a lot of different people from working in a lot of different jobs, from studying and from blogging and those people who are kind are always the ones I remember the most. I also remember the horrible people but not for the reasons anyone would want to be known by.

In a world where everyone is vying for the top spot, it’s easy to disregard other people when they have nothing to offer you, but being kind to all people opens doors that slam in the face of cranky, mean personalities.

Once I had a $5000 mobile bill from going over my internet (back in the days when the Internet on your cell phone was priced somewhat similarly to gold) and after half an hour of speaking to the representative on the phone, she ended up waiving the bill because she said I wasn’t rude to her and it was nice to be able to talk to a customer who wasn’t yelling down their end of the line.

Another time I was 45 minutes late for an exam and was allowed to sit it (in a room by myself, with coffee) by a teacher who was always very insistent on instilling kindness into her students, because I didn’t scream at her hysterically like past late students had. I’m very grateful to this teacher as I wouldn’t have been able to get into law school without her and she was probably my first realisation of the importance of kindness.

Be kind to everyone and you’ll see how quickly people will change around you.

5/ accept responsibility and take control

This was probably the hardest lesson for me. Although my parents meant well, babying me meant I had a really hard time accepting responsibility for anything. Even now, I still like to blame some things on others, like my son (the crumbs on the floor, not being able to study because the tv is too loud, not having anything to eat because he didn’t cook anything – just kidding) but for the most part, I try to always accept responsibility instead of pushing blame or tasks on to other people.

When you push blame onto others, it makes you look lazy, stupid and small. Own up to your actions and take control of the situation, and if you honestly believe the other person to be at fault, find a way to talk about it to them instead of blatantly blaming. They’re more likely to be cooperative than if you had just blamed them without question.

I always knew this, but it took me a long time for it to click. While unpredictable events occur all the time (it is life, after all), once you realise everything is up to you and there’s no-one to blame for things happening in your life except for you, things will start changing. I used to blame Optus for not completing assignments when the Internet went down, the cashier for making me late on the way to an important place and the weather for ruining travel plans.

If something isn’t going the way you want it it, don’t blame others for it. Take control of the situation and change it. For most things, it’s easier than it sounds and there’s usually an alternative to get around any obstacles.

Did I miss anything? I would love to hear your tips on being a bossgirl. Let me know in the comments so others can read them too and we can all learn something from each other.

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