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"Wally, I came to ask you for the new design specs." "But we both know you'll send me to someone who doesn't have them, and that person will refer me back to you." "When I return, you will have escaped to your secret hiding place." "Ted has the specs."

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"I had a productive time at the management retreat." "We golfed as hard as we could until we came up with a new vision for the company!!!" "But no one wrote it down, so we're going to try again next month."

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I came to this company to bring the technology of my advanced culture to you simpletons. "Has anyone ever told you that your snout is like the handle of a gavel?" "A what?" "How's the new guy working out?" "ORDER IN THE COURT!" BAM BAM BAM

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ALIEN: I came from a distant planet to bring you advanced technology, but no one here will listen!" "I am a superior being, you moron! Listen to what I tell you and then do it!"
THE BOSS: I fired him before he started yammering about Linux."
Catbert: Easy come, easy go."

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CEO: One of your engineers came to me with a suggestion. Boss: Gasp! CEO: The only reason I have middle managers is so this never happens. Dilbert: Hey, buddy. What are we talking about? CEO: Gaaa!!! Worst case scenario!

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Boss: Why do you want to leave your current job? Interviewee: My boss is a pointy-haired loser, but he's smart enough to know when he's being insulted right to his face. I'm looking to improve on that situation. Boss: You came to the right place.

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Wally: I heard a rumor that you're highly talented. That means you'll leave this company any minute. I came to salvage whatever assets you leave behind.
Dilbert: Is he the talented guy?
Wally: Back off! I'm already chasing this ambulance.

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Pronounced Hay-Soos
The Boss: Jesus, I thought you got down-sized.
Jesus: I came back. Tell the others I was downsized so I could return as a consultant and save their pensions.
The Boss: I should have written that down."