"Backpack, ready! Lunch, ready! Me, exited!" listed Kain to himself in his bedroom. He was getting ready for his first day at Palladium Town's Monster Academy. Kain lived in a small cottage in the middle of central plains. He did not have a monster but was very intrested in learning about them as he lived in the middle of an area filled with them. He set off East to Palladium Town on his own.
He reached the town and was ready to go into the academy when a tall boy came up to him. "So you'r joining the academy today too huh?" he huffed towards Kain
"Yes i'm new this year, I'm glad to meet you my name is Kain." said Kain poliltly. The boy huffed loudly and walked to the academy. Soon later Kain caught up and went in. When he entered he was greeted by Proffessor Furkan. Professer Furkan was the most prestigious reasercher in monsters and dedicated his time to people like Kain who wished to be aspiring trainers.
"Greetings, and you must be Kain. I am Proffessor Furkan your teacher here at the academy."
"I'ts an honour to make your aquaintance Sir."
"Everyone please be seated and we will begin!" Called Prof. Furkan........

Chapter 1 : Trainer School

"Hello all and welcome to the first class of the new term here at Palladium Town's Monster academy, I am Professor Furkan head and only teacher here at monster academy. Here alongside me is my assistant Deidara." Announced the professor.

the lesson went on and on for quite some time, until.......

"And now is the time you've all been waiting for... Practical."
All the student cheered as CeFurkan got out a tray with a few tiny boxes.
"These are monster boxes they all contain a monster inside and one will be given out to each of you. As this is your first day these will be your starters. Now you all can come up and get one each, tell me which one you want." instructed Cefurkan.
Everyone rushed up to look and them and one by one they went.
"Flolz please."
"Oooh can i have Smosea?"
"Wow. Gliling looks awesome, i want him."
"I want Padark."
There were only two left, Nekitten and Masgras and Kain had his eyes on the Grass-typed squirrel monster. He approched the desk, reached his hand out for the monster box.......and suddenly fell down on the floor with a massive THUMP! He got back to his senses and realized a kind young girl was holding aound his shoulders.
"Are you alright?" She asked in a calming voice. Kain nodded and was blinking rapidly to adjust his eyes. He looked up and saw the tall kid from outside picking up the monster box containing Masgras.
"Hi I'm Serene, Its nice to make your acquaintance...." said Serene politely waiting for Kain to finish the sentence.
"Kain. Nice to meet you Serene. Pardon me I just wanna get my monster." Replied Kain. he climbed up back onto his feet and approached the desk again. He let out a sigh out disappointment and picked up the last remaining box with the Nekitten.
"Well you'll have to do. And anyway you evlove into Tighost which is also very Cool."
Cefurkan moved the empty tray before saying:
"Everyone pair up and lets go outside to have a practice with out new monsters."
Everyone quickly paired up and went out to the field. And Kain was forced to pair up with Pein.
"Okay i guess Pein will go against....Kain to begin with" The Prof. announced.
"Okay. Time to crush this pipsqueak." Declared Pein and moved to the Field.
Kain slowly approached the field and kept a tight firm grip around his new monster box.
"Go Masgras!" Roared Pein throwing the box into the air. Masgras soon emerged from the box landing on his feet and going into a fighting stance.
"So lets get this thing started shall we." thought Kain to himself nervously when suddenly a cheer came from the audience:
"Go Kain!" cheered Serene from the side. Kain looked up towards Pein and got ready to battle.
"Go Nekitten!" Shouted Kain boosting his own confidence. Nekitten came out of its box and readied itself. Both trainers looked each other in the eye and Pein took the first move.
"Masgras charge in using strike!" Masgras went straight for Nekitten, but when the move connected...
"WHAT! My move didn't damage Nekitten at all!" Pein complained; then, the professor explained:
"Remember Masgras also knows other moves too....try Drain Life." Meanwhile Kain went:
"Nekitten counter with Tear!" The move hit and left Masgras wounded but not defeated. Pein immediately ordered Masgras to use Drain Life. The wounded Masgras suddenly became rejuvenated and full of life again. Before Kain had a chance to fight back Masgras went in with another attack and annihilated Kain's Nekitten.
"Yes! Well done Masgras!" Cheered Pein as Masgras climbed up and mounted itself on his head. Kain went to see if Nekitten was alright. It was scarred and was lying injured on the ground. Kain carefully scooped it up into his arms and went to the bench to where serene was waiting for him.
"Well at least you tried your best" consoled Serene trying to lift Kains spirt. Deidara walked towards the bench and handed Kain a vial containing a red liquid.
"This is a minor potion. It is used to heal your monster during or outside of battle if a monster center is not around."
"Thanks" said Kain accepting the potion and gave it to Nekitten to drink.

"Masgras charge in using strike!" Masgras went straight for Nekitten and was too fast and the Move connected with such strong force!
"WHAT! my move didn't damage Nekitten at all!" complained Pein. The professor explained:

Only issue I found.

Okay so, Pretty awesome I have to say, But I have a few things i want to hear more of. What do the characters look like? we know what the monsters look like, but describing them a little is never a bad idea; Also, What do the people look like?

Pretty good, I await your second chapter. This is about what I expect from this forum.

I give you a 6.75/10, You have many things to improve on, including length.

If you fix this up and detail the people more, then I will be happy to give it a 7.5/10.

(08-08-2011, 08:10 AM)Nitz_X Wrote: "Masgras charge in using strike!" Masgras went straight for Nekitten and was too fast and the Move connected with such strong force!
"WHAT! my move didn't damage Nekitten at all!" complained Pein. The professor explained:

Only issue I found.

Umm what was wrong with it except for inappropriate capital M on the Move connected and i forgot the comma in the middle of:
Masgras went straight for Nekitten and was too fast and the Move connected with such strong force!

Not bad.I like how pein didnt know about strike :p
7.5/10.If you want to see nitz' Fanfiction,go Here

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If you hear the Whisper Men then turn away your ears
Do not hear the Whisper Men whatever else you do
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