This is good. You have a good idea going throughout the entire thing and don't stray from the message very much which I think is good. I've got nothing to say about the first stanza except that it is good. The second one, same thing, good rhyme scheme, good use of words. For the third stanza, after you say "driven," I would at "in" on the end there. To me it just sounds better but it's up to you. The fourth stanza is my favourite. Great use of imagery, wouldn't change a thing. And the endings fit well too, just a small piece as a bit of an outro. Nice job man.