As most of you know (whichever side of the Atlantic you happen to be on), it’s election season over in the United States. The Americans are voting for their next president, because apparently they haven’t figured out how much easier elections are when you have a Royal Family with a well-defined method for choosing the next King or Queen when the old one dies.

Anyway, an insider has kindly provided The Flying News with a leaked copy of the ballot for the presidential election, which is top-secret and normally only seen by a handful of elite officials. Here we have it for your reading pleasure.

In case you want to vote yourself — you don’t have to be alive, let alone American — simply print, follow the instructions, and send it in. And if you’re not sure whom to vote for, read our article on How to Vote Like a Pro.