A New Appreciation

I’ve had the great joy of helping work on this story at the TV station I work for. Since being a parent this story means a lot more. I don’t know anyone in St. Jude nor do I hope that I know anyone personally who will be going there for health reasons. It is hard enough being parent and having to deal with what some of the parents have to deal with would make it even more difficult. I have to say that the things that St. Jude do are pretty incredible and I am glad to be part of an organization that is helping out with them!

Working in the industry that I work in we seem cold and heartless. Some of us probably are, I was. I went from shooting, to fire, to drowning without even thinking twice about who was involved or having feeling for any of the family. Since the birth of the chipmunk that has all changed.

I now smile, laugh, and play a lot more with children when I get the chance. Example: the other day our neighbor kids were waving at me and saying “hi” to me as I grilled burgers. Normally, I wouldn’t have said anything back… but since I thought it was cute the way that they were waving and saying “hi” I decided to say “hi” back. For the first time in my life I thought it was fun!

Another example: I laughed at a kid who was screaming (not necessarily the reason I was laughing I felt bad for the parent) and then as soon as the parent put the kid in the stroller he stopped crying and was perfectly fine. So, what the kid thought walking was to much and getting in the stroller helped? It’s funny how the little things can just make a kid happy. I know that makes it sound cynical… but really I’m not.

I have more feelings than I have had in the past and I don’t think that if I wasn’t a parent those feeling would be there. Parenting has given me a deeper understanding on life. I appreciate everything that my parents have done for me now and I appreciate everything that all parents do for their children.

I agree that parenting expands both the external and internal worlds. When I was pregnant, a friend’s mom told me about how dramatically life would change after I had the baby. She tried to describe what you did in this post above, but it ultimately came out sounding like, “Life as you know it is over!” Recently I’ve been reflecting on how much fuller the world seems as a parent. I’m so grateful for all of this journey.

After my mom died, I really struggled with what a crummy life my mom had had. I kept wondering why mom didn’t get to have a partner who loved her, a stable job, etc. I said as much to the wonder lactation consultant who finally got my son nursing. She surprised me by laughing. “Don’t you know by know a mom would always prefer her child have a gift to her having it herself?” I was startled by the truth of that and felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Being a parent changes everything, but it turns out those changes are largely good. 🙂