Archive for May 7th, 2009

I hate people who root against something… publicly. You know the guy/gal, they’re the Chelsea supporter who comes in to watch Arsenal v. Bolton and roots for Bolton. I mean, who could possibly root for Bolton? You’d have to be a massive c*nt to root for Bolton and an even bigger c*nt to be a Chelsea supporter publicly rooting for Bolton because you hate Arsenal. That’s something you do in private.

So, in honor of that I want to give you some things that you can root for as the season winds down, rather than just rooting against ManU and Chelsea.

1. Everton v. Chelsea — FA Cup Final

I like Everton, they play hard but fair. I also like what David Moyes has done with that team. Arsenal supporters often have to say “well, Arsenal don’t have the same budget as the top four teams and yet we still compete.” If that’s true about Arsenal, that’s even truer for Everton.

But moreover, Everton’s season was decimated by injury and kicked off even worse than Arsenal’s season — losing to Rovers and Pompey in their first three games. But Moyes stayed the course, bolstered his team, and pulled them from the ashes. Moyes’ belief and coaching acumen has pretty much guaranteed European football next year and that’s something worth rooting for right there.

Besides which, when Everton beat Chelsea it will mean that Chelsea have won exactly the same number of trophies as Arsenal over the last two years; zero. Not that I’m rooting against them or anything… the c*nts.

2. Barcelona v. Man U — Champions League Final

This one is easy, I’m rooting for Thierry Henry to win the Champions League. It’s the only medal he has left to collect and this is probably his last real chance to win. Besides, I like the way that Barcelona play, it’s very Arsenal-esque. Arsenal-esque, but more experienced, which everyone says is what Arsenal need to win a trophy, right? So, we have to root for Barca, they are what we all expect Arsenal to be next season, hell, they even wear yellow.

Besides which, when Barcelona beat Man U for the Champions League title it will prevent them from doing the unbearable; back-to-back Champions League trophies. Which we’d have to hear about for about a f*cking century. Not that I’m rooting against them or anything… the c*nts.

3. Liverpool to win the Premier League

This is going to be a tough one for them, but I think they can do it, especially if Arsenal win out. I will say that I really like most Liverpool fans. There is no group of longer suffering, more dedicated, more loyal supporters than Liverpool supporters. Ok, well, maybe Everton and Newcastle supporters have had it a bit worse, but Liverpool.. erm… Liverpool deserve to win the title again, it’s their birthright!

Besides, wouldn’t it be delicious irony if Liverpool were to win the title, with the help of Arsenal beating Chelsea and Man U, on the 20th anniversary of the season that Arsenal nipped the title from them?

Oh yeah, and if Barca win the Champions League and Liverpool win the Premier League then Man U will have won just one trophy this season: the Carling Cup. Not that I’m rooting against them or anything… the c*nts.

4. Arsenal for 3rd place

This is obvious, 3rd place means automatic qualification into the group stages of the Champions League and 4th place means we have an open qualification to get into the group stages. Open qualification means we could face, say, Roma in a one-off home and away, right there at the start of the season. So, 3rd place means something to us and we can start by beating Chelsea at the Emirates on Sunday.

Besides, if Arsenal top Chelsea in the league and Chelsea lose the FA Cup final it would mean that Arsenal and Chelsea won the exact same number of trophies for two years straight (ZERO) and Arsenal but did so by keeping the same coach, not spending £500m, and not being a hideous pack of ref threatening crybaby c*nts. Not that I’m rooting against them or anything… the c*nts.

UPDATE: Or How Could I have Been So Stupid And Missed This???

If we win out we will be 24 unbeaten in the league and perfectly set to jump into next season with a great unbeaten run. And to think, I moaned when Sunderland held us to 0-0 draw!