Blast into my Past

I guess I am on a hiatus. I haven’t been posting for a while and it feels like it might still take a while. I’m trying to sort myself out first.

I saw this video by one writer, Sedaris I think, that he wrote journals for about seven years before he actually got published. I think what he said was true: there’s a lot to be said about Not putting everything out there.

If you could meet anyone from the Bible who would it be and what would you ask them? (Besides Jesus)

I don’t remember much of my Bible stories anymore, even though I was schooled in an all-boys Catholic school for a couple of years when I was young, so I don’t really know much of the Bible characters like the Flanders kids do. But I think it would be interesting to know and talk to Lazarus. He was raised by Jesus from the dead and I would definitely ask him how it was like to be dead for, what, a couple of days?

If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?

Easy: Leche flan. To. Die. For.

On Saturdays, I like to…

Wish the weekend never ends.

Who was your first love? What age, grade, etc.

This is a juvenile question. I still haven’t gotten around to editing most of this stuff so my apologies.

I think it’s a bit weird that I never grew up being really interested in people in the most genuine sense. I’m not a people person at all. I am amazed how some people become really interested in other people, talking to them again going through great lengths to get to know them, so I am easily swayed when people are interested in me. I don’t find myself interesting at all, and I feel the same way about most people I know, in general.

I am more interested in things, ideas, but yeah, I would shamelessly admit, things. Materialistic much.

What is your favorite video game?

I remember playing games when I was young but I was never really good at any of it. I really liked playing the old style Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat games then, athough I never really was a Mario Brothers fan.

I’m in a crowded bus on the way to the great North, north of the city that is, to meet up with my partner who’s off to Hongkong tomorrow over the weekend. I wish I could surprise him with tickets to join him myself but a guy can dream.

I have been spending too much brain power at work over the recent few weeks as am currently trying to get a grip on a new process that was given to me. So far the results have not been stellar, and I am beginning to think that they are starting to have regrets on why they hired me in the first place. So much for not meeting service levels over the past few weeks, right after I was awarded with a commendation after an efficiency project for my former process.

And that brings me down to work. What do you do? When you get asked the question, what do you say? How do you begin to explain your job to someone who doesn’t know anything about it? In the same way, say it’s career day at your kid’s school and you were invited to speak to junior high school students on your career, howwoudl you begin your talk? How would you describe your job/career in such a way that the students would find it interesting? Well, is it interesting in the first place?

I bet you would never have had an idea that people were actually hired for the things you currently do before you got hired. Apart from the standard careers like doctors, firemen, etc., at least those people you would have a pretty good idea of what they would do at work, you have seen what firemen do and you would have gone to the doctor once or twice as a kid.

But I work in a bank. Does that make me a banker? What does a banker do? I would never have imagined as a kid that I would work in a bank one day, much less have any sort of idea what working in a bank meant. I would imagine them holding money, lots of it, and keeping money. Money goes into a bank so people wouldn’t spend it. And then when they are ready to do so, they take it out of the bank. Hmmmm. That doesn’t exactly would like what I do right now. I have been working in several financial institutions for the past 13 (?) years and I have yet to see actual money in the office. One office I worked for was even paperless in a sense.

So again, how would I describe my work/job concisely and accurately to someone who doesn’t have a clue about trade financing and markets?

I’ve thought about it over dinner and realized something. The job title. When you’re young choosing what you want to be when you grow up, you’d always come up with the same worn-out answers for the generic careers, and I don’t mean generic in a bad way, generic because it’s widely aspirational (?), commonly looked up to, or known. I have yet to meet a kid who wants to become an FX trader or compliance officer.

So what’s the point of this again? I’ve completely lost it, I’m sorry. Oh, yes: what do you do? One could start to answer the question more sensibly by making comparisons with other types of careers jobs which are more relatable than the title risk and product controller. Security guard. I’ve heard that on one training session before. I am like a security guard for trades. Hmmm. Close enough.

I look like crap. Even worse with flash photography, unfortunately. I’d look like a pale-faced clown with flash.

It’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely from?

It’s going to be from my mom, telling me to get home since something had happened to her or my dad.

What are you most talented at?

Most talented at… hmm. I don’t think I have any specific stand-out talent. I guess I know how to do a lot of things. I know how to do a lot of things in a more than mediocre way. Not entirely stellar or great but just slightly better enough to be un-mediocre. Could that be considered a talent?

What is your worst nightmare today?

I had a vague dream last night of my father at the brink of death, and some lawyer coughs up some sort of final will that was read out to us. The family ends up divvying up the remaining possessions and most of it end up to an unknown charity. And a few of us receive keepsakes from my father. Apparently, I get all of the photographs he ever took in his career. I’m not really sure how that is actually a nightmare or how it is the worst, but i guess it’s just that it’s recent and I think it is really sad.

What was your favorite TV show when you were growing up?

I watched a ton of TV when growing up, I guess that’s what my generation mostly has in common. As a kid though, I got into arts and crafts and I remember loving to watch this livelihood TV show which featured different livelihood craft projects. I think I did attempt to make some of them, failing miserably, but then I never really had a knack for business anyway.

What is your concept of a fruitful day?

Getting errands and chores done, hitting the gym, writing and reading. Sounds like a tall order, but yeah. I have high demands of myself sometimes. But most of the time I just end up doing one or two of them things and wallow in self-disappointment.

What did you like best about your hometown?

I really don’t know. I don’t know if I like anything about it specifically, I know only a few things that are being done here what isn’t done anywhere else. Well, not really, I don’t know anything at all unique about my hometown. I guess it’s always been there, unintrusive and unimpactful at the same time.

I haven’t done this in a while I guess. I don’t really have much to say woeth posting I think. Or maybe I have been too consumed by work recently, as always.

Or maybe I have been too distracted to think if writing on this blog. Though I have been trying to set specific times to write on my journal, so I guess I get some sort of credit for that.

Or maybe I was waiting on the good inspiration or spark of genius that ever really came. They always almost never really do no matter how hard you wait. And yes, I wait hard.

Or maybe there I just too much in my mind that I can’t keep up. In between my laptop, my phone, my Blackberr, which yes I still am going to keep and use until it dies out, which I guess would still be in a couple of years (amazingly it works just fine as a digital journal because of the physical keyboard, the lack of app support though, very disappointing, but at least you’re free from distractions?), my tablet, and of course that desktop I use at and for work, I have too many things going on all at the same time. Literally my eyes are popping out. And I’m not even watching that much TV anymore.

Or maybe I just forgot about this blog.

Or maybe I just don’t want to write that much anymore. I have been thinking of quiting this now for quite sometime now, maybe five, fifteen minutes since I started this post, but then again I am here aren’t I?