Mind over Matter

It was day one of weight-loss boot-camp this morning, since yesterday’s enjoyable leaf through ‘Dressing Thin’ had failed to deliver a satisfactory illusionary strategy for the 21st century. I squeezed myself into my Lycra running gear but, sadly, Paula Radcliffe I ain’t. Within minutes of setting off on what should have been a pleasant leafy circuit of the park, the strain of lugging round my extra lard was beginning to tell. My kneecaps began clicking like castanets, whilst the bunion reminded me why I originally stopped running in the first place.

Meanwhile, higher up the body, the Shock Absorber sports bra had its work cut out to withstand the severe gravitational forces being exerted upon it, causing an unwelcome image of a couple of bowling balls joggling in a rucksack to intrude upon my thoughts with every stride. I decided to banish the bowling balls by imagining myself making a dramatic entrance at the next staff meeting wearing the ‘Dressing Thin’ black flared trouser suit and a ruffle blouse. Ha! Amazingly, my visualisation technique was working.

Running round the park with a bunion was fading rapidly from my consciousness, and in my mind’s eye I was now in the sun-filled office, with my admiring colleagues asking where I got the unusual trouser suit from. I was feeling fantastic. Just as I was explaining how I had had to make it myself, the boss arrived with a tray of pink iced doughnuts. He noticed me looking at them with disgust, and said,

“Have you lost weight?”

“Oh, just a little…” I replied coyly.

The boss looked puzzled.

“He said sorry I’m late“, interjected a colleague, helpfully.

Well, if you’re going to visualise a scenario, you’ve got to make some part of it realistic…