(Closed) Would you ever Share your Bridal Shower With Another Bride?

So here is some background: I am getting married Oct. 1, 2011 and my younger cousin is getting married Oct. 14,2011. The entire family (except my mom and sisters) is just in awwww over her wedding and really dont care to hear about mine.

My opinion on this is “oh well….who cares if you dont wanna hear about mine. Its my day and thats all that matters!”

Well anyways…her wedding is BIG and FANCY as for mine is more Back Yard and Romantic (the way I wanted it!)

Alright now to my point.

My mom came over and told me that my aunt (cousin’s mom) asked her if we could have a bridal shower together.

My thought on this is she is planning on having this Big Bridal Shower with a BUNCH of people. Most of them we never met. Plus what she has planned is really really EXPENSIVE. Her FMIL is paying for it and they will stop at nothing to make their new DIL happy!

I on the other hand is only having it with my sisters mom, few close friends, and my cousin’s Mom! Im not into big and flashy and spending a lot of money.

So my question to the Beehive is:

By me declineing does that make me a Bridezilla? Does it make me seem dramatic?

If the bridal shower is going to be your family plus family from your FI and her FI that would be kind of odd. I would certainly feel uncomfortable if her FMIL is the one footing the bill too. I don’t think you would be a bridezilla for declining.

My cousin is getting married about a month and a half after me. I think the only way I would share a shower with her would be if it was a shower for our family only. I think the in-laws on both sides would probably be confused and a little uncomfortable.

ETA: Just wanted to say good for you on your point of view. I love that you mention that you and your FI getting married and it being your day is what is important.

@FloretteLizThank you for commenting. Yes her FIL will be there. My FIL however wont be coming to my shower….FH doesnt really interact with them to much….he has little hope of them staying long at the wedding!

I just think it would put my side and my friends in an uncomfortable position especially Im sure she will be getting REALLY REALLY expensive girfts. I dont want to put them through that. I am just happy to have them come out and celebrate that I am getting married not to shower me with gifts.

My FH and I are very humble and we work very hard for everything we have…we dont like to rely on people for gifts.

I just think it would be uncomfortable for me too.

The reason I clearified my story is some bee’s (AND DONT TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY YOU FELLOW BEES) take some stuff the wrong way….especially when some brides are very very upset and worried about family issues and wedding issue that concern other brides and their wedding.

In these negiative times they need encouragement not told to get over it!

Im sorry if I feel for them…..but maybe that is because I deal with that situation too!

But again Thank you soooooo much for replying I really do appreciate it!

@d_mari3: No problem. Yeah I get what you mean about things being taken the wrong way. It’s hard to convey ideas properly sometimes over the internet and everyone reads what you say with their own voice.

Considering what you’ve said about your style of wedding and how you feel about gifts I would say you should have your own shower. Sounds like something laid back with close family and friends would make you most comfortable.

@d_mari3: No problem. Yeah I get what you mean about things being taken the wrong way. It’s hard to convey ideas properly sometimes over the internet and everyone reads what you say with their own voice.

Considering what you’ve said about your style of wedding and how you feel about gifts I would say you should have your own shower. Sounds like something laid back with close family and friends would make you most comfortable.

Sharing bridal showers because two wedding dates happen to be close to each other is like celebrating Halloween and Thanksgiving on the same day because they’re only a couple weeks apart. Really? Shall we throw in Christmas, too? For convenience sake? They’re completely separate holidays for a reason — we are celebrating completely different things. So, why in the hell do people suddenly think it is okay to jam together two bridal showers? Convenience? Sorry, celebrating an individual trumps convenience in my book.

Nope. I wouldn’t share. You’re entitled to the shower that makes you feel most comfortable and it is about celebrating YOU…not you and so-and-so because it is convenient time-wise. I hope your own shower can be arranged for you.

wow I see I’m in the minority now. To me a bridal shower is an event in your engagement life. It’s also typically a family affair. Lots of people say that they feel put up on a pedastal or on the spot – especially when opening gifts. To me, it seems like having someone else there to ooh and aww over makes it more casual but no less special. Its just my personality to enjoy this type of gathering. I’m not huge into making it about me . I had mine at a nails salon where we did our pre wedding mani/pedis the day before the wedding. It was just my bridesmaids, 2 aunts, 2 female cousins, mother and grandma. No women from DH side could come and no other girl friends were invtited. It was simple and enjoyable.

I would only share a bridal shower if we had a similar guest list, and it sounds like you don’t. I think it would be awkward as a guest to go to a bridal shower for someone I don’t know, even if I knew one of the brides. I wouldn’t know if I should buy them a gift, and I def wouldn’t want to!

I don’t think you should share a bridal shower. You should have one with the people you want to be invited and she should have one with who she wants to be invited. I think it gets sticky with the gifts too.

I would share a bridal shower with a close friend for sure. However in your situation I would not. You seem to be two totally different people wanting different types of shower’s why should you have to settle for what she wants. Have your own shower you are not a bridzilla.