Jane Jett

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Erotic Spanking: Not your mother's spanking guide

You’ve read about it in books, seen it in movies, and perhaps have a longing to explore your kinky side. Let’s look at the art of erotic spanking.

Erotic spanking, when undertaken as part of a consensual and sensual session between fun-loving adults, can be an extremely pleasurable activity. Both the spanker and spankee enjoy an entire catalog of positive sensations and emotions (not to mention a whole lot of physical stimulation).

As with all activities in the Kink lifestyle, consent and safety are key. Sure, the emphasis is always on the exchange of control, adventure, and fun, but the levels of vulnerability between partners enjoying kinky activities, such as spanking, are often pretty intense.

So how do you go about ensuring that you retain all the fun of a sound spanking- while keeping everyone safe?

I'll show you how to spank your partner soundly and oh-so safely.

So what is erotic spanking exactly?

Spanking, as part of sexual play, occurs when a person slaps a sex partner with an open hand or an object to heighten sexual arousal for one or both parties. Spanking is usually enjoyed by those who find sexual pleasure in pain. It can be done during foreplay or intercourse.

Let's commence to spanking.

Once both parties have reached a consensual agreement, my best advice is to focus your spanking on the buttocks.

Don't damage your tailbone/kidneys

Always avoid impact on or above the tailbone, outside of the buttocks, lower thighs, the back of the knees, and where the bottom ends and the thighs begin. It’s easy to damage the tailbone or kidneys if your spanking gets out of the safe zone. And most people find that it feels best on their butt.

Try different positions

You can create different sensations by having the receiving partner in different positions. If they’re lying flat on a bed, their butt is less stretched out than if they’re bent over, or on their hands and knees. Many people find that the further their hips are bent, the stronger the same impact can feel.

Start with your hands

I would recommend first-timers play using hands to spank. This offers a better understanding of what your partner is feeling. If you’re not sure what you or your partner likes, start slow and ask. One great way to do this is to spank once, and then ask them to rate it on a scale of one to ten. Another approach is to do two different strokes and ask which one felt better.

The spanking is over. Now what?

Great question. After Care, After Care, After Care. Soothing lotion, a blanket, a sip of water, and a cuddle are wonderful tools for all parties involved. The spanker should check in on the spankee and discuss how the spankee is feeling both physically and emotionally. If your spanking session leads to wild, orgasmic, delicious, hot sex, the aftercare can wait until you're done. But always check in with your partner at some point. FYI: Spankings might cause redness, bruises, and tenderness.

As you both ride the wave of orgasmic pleasure, always remember that the key element to exploration is always to provide a safe, sane, and consensual environment where both parties can feel free to experiment and find what works best for each other. Not all spankings are equal, and you might be surprised at what they can do for you and your relationship.