This will be a blog for Christians, for people who are part of a minority, for writers. I'm a poet, essayist, devotionalist, reviewer and writer of speculative fiction.Let God be true...and every man a liar.

Pages

Sunday, September 26, 2010

William Lau of the Elijah Challenge does a rally great job talking about the priestly authority, the kingdom authority, and the prophetic authority. Priestly authority to intercede for others, prophetic anointing ti speak to our brothers and sisters, Kingly authority to speak to disease, demons, sins, etc. Jesus has made us all kings and priests and prophets. We are all subject to each other. Prophets to pastors, pastors are to minister the church. In the Bible the kingly anointing was shown as different from the prophetic or the priestly. They were divided. Kings got in trouble when they tried to act like priests. In Jesus we have all three, praise God.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

One hundred fifty years ago, Charles Darwin revolutionized biology, but did he refute intelligent design (ID)? In Signature in the Cell, Stephen Meyer argues that he did not.

Much confusion surrounds the theory of intelligent design. Frequently misrepresented by the media, politicians, and local school boards, intelligent design can be defended on purely scientific grounds in accordance with the same rigorous methods that apply to every proposed origin-of-life theory.

Signature in the Cell is the first book to make a comprehensive case for intelligent design based upon DNA. Meyer embarks on an odyssey of discovery as he investigates current evolutionary theories and the evidence that ultimately led him to affirm intelligent design. Clearly defining what ID is and is not, Meyer shows that the argument for intelligent design is not based on ignorance or "giving up on science," but instead upon our growing scientific knowledge of the information stored in the cell.

A leading proponent of intelligent design in the scientific community, Meyer presents a compelling case that will generate heated debate, command attention, and find new adherents from leading scientists around the world.

From the Back Cover
Meyer tells the story of the successive attempts to solve this mystery of DNA and argues that fundamental objections now exist to the adequacy of all purely naturalistic or materialistic theories. The book then proposes a radical alternative based upon developments in molecular biology and the information sciences: it proposes the design hypothesis as the best explanation for the origin of the information necessary to produce the first life.

SIGNATURE IN THE CELL will not merely provide a critique of evolutionary theories. It also shows that, based on our uniform and repeated experience-the basis of all scientific reasoning about the past-there is a strong positive case for intelligent design. From our experience we know that intelligence alone produces large amounts of information. Thus, the book shows that the argument for intelligent design from DNA is not based on ignorance or a desire to “give up on science,” but instead upon just the opposite: our growing scientific knowledge of the inner workings of the cell and our experience-based knowledge of the cause-and-effect structure of the world. For just this reason the argument for design can be formulated as a rigorous and positive scientific argument-specifically one called “an inference to the best explanation.” The book shows, ironically, that the argument for intelligent design from DNA is based on the same method of scientific reasoning that Darwin himself used.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I'm in awe about the wonderful sweet loving closeness of our God. A few months back He said to my spirit, "Stop worrying. If anything bad is going to happen to you, wouldn't I tell you and save you?" So I tried to stop worrying. I went and had the mammo because I had a dream telling me the milk in my left breast had gone sour and I had a cancer So I took the mammo. Just in case. The mammo showed negative, but then God made me bleed after the test. (Praise God!) So they had to do all sorts of other expensive radiological tests. And that's when they found the lump. Then God made the hospital give me 100% financial discount on anything the hospital does and the county's cancer society is paying for everything else. All I have is a few lab fees. And all this when my husband is out of work! What kindness the Lord has shown to me!

I had the operation for the lumpectomy on Tuesday. Before that, all Monday night, I was up telling my hubby luke all about my death and cemetery arrangements. Yes, I am that morbid. But it's from getting no sleep for 20 years. It colors the mind. So I was thinking was pretty sure i would die so was quite weepy at the hospital but wiped my teas everytime th e nurses came in. But the funny thing was i was also cracking jokes and all the nurses on all the floors were saying how funny i was ...so God was with me. Ah yes, I am so witty!

Anyway, I went to the hospital and was afraid of dying under the anesthesia. So I finally see the anesthesiologist. His name is Jason Jacobs and he's jewish --a nice guy. I say, "so once again for the xillionth time today you guys are gonna explain anesthesia. you must do this a lot every day"

Anyway we're chattering and on about pain and finally we're in the --

Ooh, forgot to tell you that Kazuo ishigaro's book "Never let me go" was at the book section in teh waiting room and I opened it to a line which read, "You found God or something?" So felt God was with me.

Anyway, finally we're getting the aneasthesia into me and I say something like I'm just praying to God and Dr Jacobs gets in a theological discussion with me about God, "How do i know that God exists etc?" I don't know..it's weird. I can be in the middle of nowhere reading a porn magazine and someone will come up to me and start a theological discussion. Hey, so God has poured out the spirit of inquiry on folks, looks like. And trusts me to say something somewhat worthwhile. So Dr Jacobs is going on very intently about he goes to temple etc and he doesn't know that God exists. And I'm thinking..."For heaven's sake, Lord! Is this really the right time?"

And I said,"Well Doctor, perhaps, you should read the Bible and he says "I'm Jewish i don't read the bible." I say "I meant read the Tanakh." And I'm trying to see what is necessary to say but really I've known that God will use anything so who knows what God can use.

Then the nurse nearby says "What's that the old testament?"
And I say well i didnt want to call it old testament cause jewish folks get upset about that. So he asks me about well i'm a good person and you christians believe that good peopel go to hell if they aren't christians. Then he says, "And what's the difference between that and science fiction?"

And this nurse -- who had her theology TOTALLY RIGHT by the way just kept interrupting me and I was trying to fend off fear as the medicine and anesthesia got put in and to answer him before sleeplessness took me over and everytime he asked me a question she would answer with me. And I was kinda getting annoyed because he was asking me But at the same time she was totally on target

but I wanted to focus on what God had done to make me know he was alive and existed and to teach him to look for God in this life. And she was going on about the difference between humanity trying to show human's own works and Christians being put on earth to show God's own righteousness. And I thought, well, it's possible that now that they both know they can talk to each other about God they'll talk to to each other but honestly why is it Christians can't allow each other to witness and a third person has to jump in
So I didn't know if i was there as a catalylist to get them to know each other and discuss religion or if she was just intruding.

Hard to realize if I was the one to be used or if I was the one who should've kept quiet. I didn't get mad but very interesting experience. I felt he was asking to know how God is alive and she was talking about theology. Didn't seem to be what he was interested in...and didn't seem to be the answer either of us could give him but I was kinda hearing his desire to have an experiential relationship with God and trying to do that. While she was...well answering the question he asked about what is goodness and why do Christians think our goodness isn't righteous. Too many cooks and one mixed broth. But now I'll add him to my list. I kept saying to him, "Why don't you tell God to show you he existd?" And he kept saying, "But why should I talk to him when I don't think he exists?" And I'm thinking, "Uh, Doc, is this really the right time...and can't you just play the 'What if?' game? And make a decision to believe."

So the next thing I know I'm waking up after the operation
and the FIRST VERY VERY VERY VERY FIRST Thing I hear is a doctor -- don't know who it was because it was a blur-- saying "So what's she doing, Praying? Is that what they call speaking in tongues?" Turns out I was speaking in tongues while coming out of the sleeplessness. Wonder if I was speaking in tongues while anestheisized? LOL. He seemed intrigued. And I remember what St Paul said about tongues being a sign for the believer...so who knows?

Guess what my first english words were when i realized I was awake and the operation was over?
"Uhm, I'm still alive. Interesting"

just a scratchiness in my throat from the tube in my throat
other than that...the worst part of the entire experiecnce was the needles. And them searching for a vein. My right arm is gonna be black and blue. I mean they had to do the ductogram again. And finding th nipple and to localize it whith a wire...and then they saw another lump that the MRI didn't quite catch but which looked odd so they had to decide to get the entire duct or two more ducts out. Can't figure cause they were talking ...it was quite a precious operation. Very funny, figuring the exact coordinace of the lumps and after all that they had this needle poking into my breast and this wire and this other needle and then they cover the wire with a paper cup. I said well that's like the astronauts going into sapce and doing this intricate repairing and then having duct tape. But they put the paper cup over the wire so I wouldnt move it as they wheeled me down the hallway just to cover it. So i have to go back next week and they'll tell me the result of the biopsy on the lump
lab has it

And I put a copy of my book wind follower in their waiting room library. So that's it. I'm okay. but they gave me a block which means i'll be in no pain until the bloc wears off tonight by which time the percoset should kick in. Was certainly good getting a midday nap. My first sleep in ages.
.
So started with a whole lot of fatigue, grief and fear...it ended well. Am hoping the percoset will re-adjust my sleep patterns.

That's it. Thanks for the prayers. And am ascribing to God all glory. If this thing had been discovered when my hubby had a job we'd be in way more bills than we actually are in. But God who is such a provider has set this entire thing up so that the hospital's charity fund and the county's cancer partnership are paying for pretty much 95% of all the bills. Basically, all we're left with is lab tests. Our God is so big so strong and so mighty there's nothing our God cannot do.

Monday, September 13, 2010

So I was sitting around attempting to renew my mind and my idea of what my future and younger son's future would be like.

There is a kind of human-created image that one creates in order to believe a kind of controlled visualization. But last night, these mental images came to me -- unbidden as they say. From my spirit. Not somethng i had put in my own mind. Not anything I saw in a dream either. I caught these three separate scenes in my mind and spirit

The way I catch people's names sometimes although I don't know them or have never met them, just looking at the person and suddenly knowing their names. (So far, I haven't seen anyone's illness by the spirit, thank God. Don't know if I would be able to go in front of someone and say, "Uh, the Lord just showed me you have blank blank and I am supposed to pray for it because when you have a word of knowledge that's what you do.) But anyway, these images popped up in my spirit the way I heard and knew names in my spirit and the way i saw Jessica in the green dress. So I know it's from the holy spirit that planted it and not my own mind making them up.

I saw husband and older son exiting our car. Luke from the driver's side and Gabe from the right passenger front

only they two were in the car and they were in a parking lot. Gabe slammed the door shut and as he left and he said to luke, "Come on Dad, hurry. The movie's starting." Just like that.

Then I saw Gabe sitting in front of my computer doing somethbing and he turned and looked and smiled at me in passing then went back to work.

Then i saw him standing by the phone talking to Logan.

They were all just scenes from normal life. . .and interestingly I didn't see the day or time he got healed. But all this shows that my spirit can now conceive of his healing. Because I can see these images which were basically... normal life after the event

Gabe was wearing a gray green t-shirt and being a regular kid going to a movie with his dad. And my heart leaped with joy because i realized it finally at last i had an image. My once pessimistic brain could actually see the substance of things hoped for. And funnily, all three images included us all. One image with Gabe and logan, one with him and me, and one with him and Luke.

It was through a veil as they say. Known in part, prophesied in part. But I knew I saw it in the spirit, almosting it. But it was clear and sure and i was so glad my mind had the image at last. Dear Lord, give us vision lest we perish.

Then a negative image immediately popped into my mind. "I imagined bumping into the pediatrician who had told us to give Gbe the mmr shot. I saw myself walking with Gabe towards her --and Gabe acting up and being weird-- and I saw this lady doc but said nothing but she would see clearly what she had done by forcing us to take the MMR (I'm glad anyway, I followed the Lord's leading and didn't give Logan the MMR shot) be guilty

Then I realized that vindication and anger and spite had built that image because I wanted the doctor to know she was wrong. But that I couldn't have the satisfaction of the vindication image and the healing image both in my mind simultaneously, that it was a kind of double-mindedness and it was clearly shown to me that the one with the doctor was one i should not even cultivate. And it was so different from the ones that came from my spirit.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Because it's the first or second day of school and the bus company that brings Gabe to school said Gabe has to have an harness if he's on the school bus. Some aggressiveness in the summer because another student was mocking him.

Anyway, I was so hurt and felt so put upon. I began thinking about how powerful people have bullied me and how my life has been a life of being bullied by fears, authoritarian people, cruel people, slick bosses, sociopaths who knew how to handle the system, the verse, bill collectors, rich people, white people, superior church people. And I just burst out in tears to God, "Let not mine enemies triumph over me."

So I hear the radio. Generally I don't hear the radio cause the alarm isn't on. And they start talking about ovarian cancer and how we don't know what's going on cause it has no symptoms except vague ones
and I burst into tears again.

I said to God, "Oh God, since I've lived...all my life I've lived with fear caused by an alarmist nurse mother.
I've lived being bullied by those more powerful than i am. I've lived afraid of people and phone calls from bill collectors and rules laid down on me by powerful people. This has been my life..one of continual fear and stress. And I long for heaven because there I won't fear, there I won't stress about cancer or bullies. There is where peace should be. Because although you say you give peace and abundant life, I don't have it."

And the Lord said, "First, trust that if you got cancer i would tell you." This is true. Because I got a dream about the lumps (hopefully benign) in my left breast. And although the mammo was clear, God made my nipples bleed after...which led to the discovery of the papilloma. And he is taking care of the hospital bills for me.

Then He said, "Second trust Psalm 91 that you will not get cancer."
Which is true. Psalm 91 is a salvation revealed in the last days. That is one powerful psalm.

Then He said, "And the harness might be from me."

So I come downstairs and hubby Luke is researching harnesses because we have to tell the school system to get the harness because the bus company INSISTS and I was just feeling so bullied by powerful people and wanting God to heal Gabe out of spite to show those horrible know-it-all people and to make me not be pitiful and weak in everything in their eyes.

But I felt God saying it's about renewing my mind and not seeing a situation as bullying but to see some unpleasantness from horrible people as being about God working through the the powers that be to help us.

So Luke is looking at the harnesses online for the school buses...and Gabe goes to school next week because we hve to approve and ask for the harness...or else it's driving him 45 minutes away every morning and getting him in the afternoon and Luke says, "God's ways are not our ways. God knows the way we go."

So we've decided to see this as the authority being from God, that even though it's silly to put him in the harness and seems about their bullying and "winning" against us and strutting their power, that God knows if there's gonna be a bus accident and God could be protecting Gabe. And that we should die to self and accept the humiliation because according to Paul's letter to the Romans all things are of God. The funny thing is I am not really a fighter. But I've been so stepped on all my life that fighting back is often my only way of holding on the little humanity they've left me. This world strips you bare. And I have been so stripped all my life.

So in many ways I feel a sense that i have died spiritually in a good way. I really hate losing. I really hate it when someone triumphs over me. I really hate the idea that someone has "won" over me. But in this I have to accept this authority even if the authorities might be arrogant and accept that whether the world is bullying me or not, that I must trust God -- Let the Lord fight my battles-- and that whatever comes at me, i must accept and rejoice in.

I have gotten into so much trouble trying to win against certain people in life. Trying to win against my mother-in-law, against evil people, against bullies. And I always thought that it would be a horrible kind of death to watch them triumph over me. It is a kind of death, definitely...only I'm beginning to feel that it's not so horrible...if we see everything from the hand of God. In some ways, also, I feel as if this has made the prayer for Gabe's healing purer. Because we have not because we ask incorrectly...so that we may consume it on our lust. Gabe's healing was always mixed up in validating me against cruel people. Now it's purer, i think.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Listened to a lot of it but he wasn't telling me anything the Bible didn't tell me and there was so much truth mixed in with untruth and human wisdom that I had to turn it off.

I mean for instance, he said we draw things to us by how we are. Very true. St Paul tells us to renew our minds, remove strongholds of thoughts, be not conformed to the world, think of whatever is lovely, true, pure, of good report. BUT St Paul also says that God gives us joy. So if we cannot bring ourselves to joy, God can bring it to us....and uphold us.

Also, He says life will not get better unless you change your mindset and choose joy. Again, partly true, and partly false. God helps our weaknesses.

And when he says the universe, it's like... I understand what he'[s saying but I also think that God is above the construct. God's MERCY and GRACE ha to be figured in, especially for the weak. FAITH in a helper and a comforter who helps in our weakness. While it is good to work with our own minds, the philosophy has a universe who helps those who helps themselves to be joyful thing. And that doesn't seem true to me. God understands taht from our youth, even as kids our minds have been trained to believe bad. And he works with even the most joyless, sometimes surprising them by joy.

In addition, the "the universe has given me the opportunity to do such and such by allowing me to get cancer." Nah, doesn't work for me. God gives only good things. The devil, our genes, our words, our habits, etc give bad things too.

Then there were his children. His children seem to have suffered from having him as a dad. I've seen this kinda thing with kids of psychotherapists dads. How can one be freely happy in a family when the family construct is that everything that happens in one's life is somehow caused by one's thoughts?

Then life is either karmic retribution in some way, or blessedness because one has been self-made and one has done it all in one's life. Both are equally offensive to me as a Christian.

The we are what we think is pretty Biblical actually. The Bible tells us "As a man thinks in his heart so is he." And "Guard your heart with all diligence because all the things of this life comes out of it." And "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" And "Faith is the substance of what we hope for" And "God calls the seen out of the unseen so we must put aside vain imaginations and think only what is lovely pure true just" and in job "The things I greatly fear have come upon me."

And so so so so many other verses in so many other places. So this isnt' anything new. And it's definitely not new with secular humanists...or to folks into pop quantum physics spirituality or with folks who have read the Secret...or even to Christianity

But the Bible allows a bit of finagling from God. Mercy towards those who don't know this truth. Sudden surprises. Sudden joys...that come to us in spite of our thought life. And this is what bothered me about this particular philosophy, he has no mercy for those who cannot be joyful.

I truly believe in renewing our minds and getting rid of strongholds of negativity and doubt BUT I have had so many good things happen to me in spite of my negativity that I can't say this philosophy is entirely right. God often is merciful and protects the innocent who are ignorant of this truth.

Essentially, the Secret and much of this philosophy are kinda ripped off from the Bible. Jesus taught us the keys to the kingdom and those spiritual rules of how the world works are everywhere. But he also added God's love into the mix. And the issue of our sins, and demonic deceptions, etc.

Follow by Email

email addy

Google+ Followers

Carole McDonnell

Writer of The Constant Tower, Wind Follower, Spirit Fruit: Collected Speculative Fiction by Carole McDonnell, Seeds of Bible Study: How NOT to study the Bible. Soon to be published (if i stop procrastinating): Scapegoats and Sacred Cows of Bible Study, My Life as an Onion, Oreo Blues, The Boy Next Door From Faraway, The Temple of their Idols, Pen of the Ready Writer

My stories are included in various anthologies including:

Fantastic Stories of the Imagination edited by Warren Lapine, So Long Been Dreaming by Nalo Hopkinson. Griots, edited by Milton Davis and Charles Saunders; Griots II: Women of the spear, edited by Milton Davis and Charles Saunders; Steamfunk, edited by Milton Davis and Balogun Ojetade

Reviewer on Blogcritics, Reviewer and Religion writer on Examiner.com, reviewer on Curledup.com