2.28.1993

I’m still thinking of Jennifer. I haven’t seen her in years. At this point I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get her out of my mind. Sometimes, at night I dream about her. The dreams are always nightmares. In the dreams I’m with her, but I can’t have her. A horrible frustration consumes me and then I wake up. It’s worst when I wake up.

My plans for today are to start fixing up the room over at Joe’s. The walls need alot of work. I’m going to prep them and hopefully repaint in there by the middle of next week. One of the things I really need to focus my attention on is the carpet. The green carpet in the room right now is real messed up. If I could obtain some grey carpet scraps from the flooring place around the corner that would be much better. I want that green junk out of there. Joe and I discussed the project of finishing up the walls. We decided to start painting on Wednesday afternoon. The extra few days after the prep work will give me more time to pick up a few more supplies. I’m looking forward to getting this done.

Today was Mark’s last day here. I’m not going to miss him. It’s not that we didn’t get along or anything, I just don’t like him. Mark was kind of a gangland rap thug. Joe keeps referring to him as a “trigger happy nigger”. Whatever. Joe is going to try to not rent that room back out but I don’t see how he can afford it. Joe is still out of work, just like me. Being unemployed is stressful. You’ve got to deal with alot of extra stupid shit. I hate having to worry about how I’m going to get bills paid on time and where that cash is going to come from. Right now I’m grateful for the fact that I don’t have any kids to take care of. That would be rough.

Dad has been trying to sell one of his motorcycles again. I left the house before I found out if he had sold it. The bike is some direct drive Honda. He likes his other bike better apparently. That’s something about my dad I’ll never understand. He never seems to be satisfied with anything he owns. Dad hasn’t even had the direct drive Honda more than two months. What’s really funny is one of dad’s co-workers keeps buying all of his stuff from him. The guy bought dad’s last truck, and his last motorcycle. Must be pretty good deals or something. I have no idea.