Courtney Stodden Hacks Up A Hair Ball As Hello Kitty; We Start To Suspect This Is Performance Art

Look, we believed it when Courtney Stodden became a vegetarian because she didn’t want to “eat anything with a face.” That made sense to us. We believed it when she writhed around on her kitchen linoleum in an attempt to make “floor flashing” happen. We use Twitter; it could have caught on. We even believed it when she married Doug Hutchison despite the fact that she’s a minor and he’s that scary liver-eating guy from The X-Files. Fine! Sure! We accept the things we cannot change, but we cannot suspendour disbelief any longer when we see Courtney Stodden hack up a hair ball and eat cat food while dressed as Hello Kitty in the video she posted today. We cannot abide such a violation to our sense of logic. This has to be a part of her fine arts dissertation, right? Or at least one epically convoluted episode of Punk’d? If not, we have past beyond the bonds of reality and into Courtney’s world!

Now, it would be one kind of unsettling thing if our favorite teenage bride just acted like a sexy cat and dubbed in meowing later. But when she shuffles her Lucite stilettos around in that litter box? Courtney deserves an A on the performance art thesis she’s been crafting this entire time. A grad school project would make a lot of sense, wouldn’t it? A lot more sense than what appears to be actually happening?