Red Dawn remake being altered so as not to offend the Chinese

MGM’s financial troubles may have temporarily shelved its Red Dawn remake, but there is one bright side to the delay: It’s given filmmakers plenty of time to go back and erase all the references to China, whose role as the film’s Communist villain suddenly doesn’t seem like such a smart idea now that it has all the money. Although China has not made any official protest about the movie’s swapping in Chinese invaders for the original’s Soviet forces, its producers are now said to be reshooting scenes, altering dialogue, and digitally scrubbing all flags and military symbols so as not to jeopardize their ability to receive lucrative distribution deals and future financing from the rising superpower.

A superpower who, it should be noted, is apparently still going to be cool with knowing that they were the enemy in our little Cold War fantasy just two years ago, that we think we can just slap a new nationality on any Asian actor and no one will notice, and that it’s only because we need their cash that we’re now trying to cover it up. But, uh, maybe they won’t read this? Anyway, after several potential buyers noted that insulting a country that could increasingly buy and sell us probably wasn’t such a smart idea, Red Dawn will now feature ordinary kids banding together to fight off aggressors from North Korea, who already hates us and has nothing to offer. Kim Jong-il has no doubt already requested a DVD.