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Autistic Iris learning to become normal

In general life consisted of Iris trying to be social, trying to go out with the girls she had grown up with, meeting boys, going to the movies and dances. She handled it very well, but she was so insensitive to all the unspoken assumptions that she often put her foot in her mouth. Jokes and irony were totally lost on her. She never even noticed it but her friends were sometimes ashamed of her and scolded her. Physical touching was also a problem. She had learned that she was not supposed to run away, but to stay and talk, which she did. As soon as somebody got too forward she would start to discuss all kinds of issues, and often the boys tired of it so she escaped.

Iris also struggled a lot with what you should like. She had learned that you should like different things. You should like being cute, and you should be delighted and smile when people said you were cute. You just had to do that. On that subject there was no choice. You should not like when young girls used make-up or wore long pants and one should not like parties and pleasures. But Iris had no opinion on any of this. The difficulty for her was that you had to express your feelings with your face and whole body. But Iris always looked unchangeably contented. So when she in order to be ordinary said she disliked something at random nobody believed her. She wasn’t received as skeptically when she asserted that she liked something. The big problem was to like and dislike the correct things. There she missed constantly.

One thought on “Autistic Iris learning to become normal”

If being Aspie is tough, being the offspring of one is so much worse. I know from experience. Imagine a women who prefers a string of hobbies to attending to her own offspring. Imagine a string of expensive hobbies (flying, lace making, groumet cooking) that she is compelled to discuss with every stranger she meets while she tells her offspring the family can’t afford some very simple pleasures like clothes similar to others at their school or hair cuts from an actual professional. Imagine a women so incapable of taking the perspective of someone else that she has never noticed that others ask her “how are you” which sets her going on a one way conversation that can last an hour about all her latest hobbies-while her own offspring walk around unkempt and unattended. Imagine a women living 20 minutes from a grandchild but refusing to see the child because the child did not smile at her (3 months). Imagine a women refusing to have a bank card so she can go to the bank and talk at a teller for 30 minutes about her latest hobbie/obsession. They really should be encouraged to take up hobbies instead of thinking about procreating. When two get together..watch out. Of course this may not be true for all but the diagnosis can’t be made without the presence of symptoms that are, in and of themselves, harmful to offspring.