Dating in Singapore

Dating can be tricky here in Singapore due to the differences in culture and language. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand and adapt to the lifestyle in Singapore. Today I am going to present to you my theory about the difference between dating in Thailand and in Singapore.

Transportation

You must have a car. Having a car shows that you can fetch her around, take care of her, and that you have some money. If you don’t have a car, you belong to the scumbag class. You are worthy of nothing. No one would take bus or BTS to go on a date. So that is, without a doubt, a must.

The rule of thumb is a bit more relax. It is okay to rely on public transport. Car here are so expensive anyway. When you drive in your 20’s, everyone assume that the car belongs to your parents. In Singapore, the best solution is a little money-guzzling machine called Taxi.

Gifts and Surprises

It is all about the little things that make her heart glow. She would appreciate it so much. By little things, I mean very expensive overly-priced Italian handbag that you could buy at the 2nd floor of Siam Paragon. Brand-name items are the holy grail of gifts. She will say that she don’t want it and it is unnecessary. But deep down inside, if her friend has a Louis Vuitton Handbag, you will need to get her the limited edition, otherwise all hell will break loose.

Branded good and expensive stuff are secondary. All she ever want is something to tell her friends (I repeat: all she cares is her friends) that she has the best life and her boyfriend is the richest. You need to throw her the biggest birthday party, invite 500 people: from her kindergarten friends to her long lost hi-bye friends. She want every single one of them to be there. They are all best friends to each other on the night of the party. Bring her to stay at a nice and expensive hotel that you can find (by that I mean Marina Bay Sands). She doesn’t give a shit about the hotel or the comfort bed or even you (yes, you are just there to pay the bill) All she care about is how many likes does the photo of her hawt body in a pink bikini at the infinity pool get on Instagram. SO WHATEVER YOU DO, POST IT ON INSTAGRAM AND SPAM THE #HASHTAG #LOVE #BEAUTY #BESTBOYFRIENDEVER

Texting

Line. Her Line ID is all that you need. In Thailand, 99.9 percent of relationships start from a little text send via Line. Thus, all that you need in your first pursuit is her Line ID. After that, text her with some cheekiness, jokes and always be entertaining. She will be amused by your ability to use the right sticker at the right time. Just remember this: Cute stickers solve all problems. And if you have a fight with your girlfriend(s), just buy her the cutest sticker (this solve all the problems in the world!)

WhatsApp all the way babe. It is the holy grail of platform to communicate. And now that you can’t send all the idiotic stickers, you will have to rely on your linguistic ability here. ALWAYS CHECK YOUR FREAKIN’ GRAMMAR. You don’t want to come off as uneducated or CMI in the Ang Moh language. It will be helpful if you could add local touches to your texting . (BELOW)

Proper English:

I don’t think so. I would like to go to Sushi Tei for dinner instead. The sushi at Sushi Tei is simply delectable.

English with some local touches:

Ermm I dont want that leh. Can we go to Sushi Tei, the food there is damn Shiok ah.

Singlish with some Ah Bang touches:

WALAOO lehhh, Kan Ne Na. I DON’T WANT. You got no brain one is it?? We go Sushi Tei lah, the food there so F&%$#$% good lohh

Dating

Don’t ask her out on a date. After 2 weeks of texting (Thais like to take it slow and steady), just ask her for a causal hang out, have dinner and catch a movie. I mean, of course, she knows that it is a date, but she will be shy and feel so uncomfortable, not knowing what to wear, what to do, how to eat etc. She will practically become a retard if you ask her out on a date.

You never ever want to be friend-zoned. As a result, you will have to be direct with your approach, but not too-oh-so-obvious. After a few days of texting, you should ask her out on a date. State your intention clearly, be nice and gentleman. The key word here is GENTLEMANLY. You don’t want to be seen as too frank and direct as the American but not too aimlessly playful like the Thai.

The PersonalityThai girls always want to be cute, pretty and beautiful and they really are (sorry Singaporean, the Thais are simply prettier. Argument ends here.) It would take them forever to get ready to go out because the 7 layer of make-up, eyeliner, eye shadow, eye non-shadow and what-not. They will be pretty outside the house at all time. Thai girl get moody and always want your attention. This action is called (งอน). Most of the time, there is nothing wrong with her at all, but all she want is your attention to care “a little bit more” about her. So be ready for it.

They are some of the most independent girlfriends on the planet you could ever find. They are strong and will usually not seek too much attention. All of them are strong. At some point in their lives they could run a 2.4 km under 12 minutes. So if you are a fat boy, good luck hunting. Singaporean girls usually don’t need you to call them everyday, don’t need you to fetch them around all the time. However, you need to show that you care and love her.