Friday, October 4, 2013

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

I'm a Satanist, and I have a lot to do. For example, I have to read various incantations from my Recipe Book of Evil with the pages made from human flesh and the cover made from kitty fur so that the maiming cabbie who just got his license back (I mean holy fucking shit, right?) drives off a bridge and into the East River. (Without a fare in his cab, of course, unless the passenger is similarly deserving.)

This is a lot to do in itself, since there's always that last-minute trip to the pet store for that unexpected animal sacrifice, and on top of that I have this thing to do at my kid's nursery school (it's Happy Fun Critter Day, and I'm sure I'll have to go back to the pet store yet again after I sacrifice all the bunnies), so as you can see this is shaping up to be a very full day.

On top of all that, according to my research assistant the last quiz I proctored ("proctor" is a portmanteau of "prick" and "doctor," so please call me "Dr. Prick") was nearly a month ago, which is far too long, because people's minds get dull and they become complacent unless they're constantly subjected to testing. And that's still more work for me, especially since I have to make sure the quizzes aren't culturally biased, and I had to re-do this one after reading it over and realizing that nearly every question was about kugel.

Hey, I have my first Fred ride on Sunday. Saturday morning no-drop shop rides don't count, do they? It's a charity ride and with it came my first real bikecycling jersey! I plan to draft all day and then blow past my wife in the final sprint. She'll be on a '90 Giant mountaining cycle with slicks. I don't think she can keep up when I get in the drops on my couple-years-newer steel Fuji. Plus, she won't know that we're racing.

If I can't wear a camelback, where am I supposed to stow 2/4 tubes, a pump, food, etc?

JB, make her carry them to weigh her down more. Me and hunny bunny are doing a Dewathlawn tomorrow. She will run 5k then I cycle 30k then she runs 5 more k's. There is some hills with one affectionately known as THE BEAST. Good luck with the sprint finish. I got 2nd Tueday in the Simulated Road Championship of West Tenn and was happy with it but still called him a Sorry MOFO as he launched and I popped.

It's just good to get yer lovin in soon as you can in the day is all. Why do you think those guys are racing for the podium in the first place?

But you're right. Let's be serious for a minute. You're such a noob, snob. It's Thelema to those in the know.

Bout time you figured out who the real ruler is in yer neck of the woods, too.

Yes. Let's DO talk about how that fucker got his license back, shall we? And I still want to know how all of the agents and their armoured vehicles involved in yesterday's shoot-to-kill-in-front-of-a-baby couldn't manage to contain one single car without using lethal force.

good heavens. i followed the first link of the story to the catch up on Snobber's new Satan worship as i missed that and was just absolutely horrified by the video of that poor girl being mowed down by a fucktwat.

seriously terrifying and just maddening as hell to keep coming to this Snobblog and reading every week about the ass backwards way the law treats these "accidents"

keep the government shut down. hell, i'm for starting from scratch at this point.

i'm surprised that lady in DC was shot for trying to mow everyone down yesterday because apparently in most places its just fine and dandy.

anyone want to pitch in and buy some island with no car access? we can have sand specific fat tired fixed gears and ride to our nightly beach orgy. i got $50 on it.

Road Queen, Yesterday: "...and dude straddles..." Yes, it's a good one. Have been in the vertical position of that duet many times. And if your horizontal partner and swallow, all the better. Plus, the ejaculation goes straight down the hatch, no 90 degree turn required.

A conspiracy of the "silent majority" anons gathers. Wait, is there any chance that this is a chain made of one poster and his imaginary-friend sock puppets? An auto-circle-jerk? Onan with a multiple personality disorder, if you will?

@ babble 12:22. You're right. Bike blog I know, but the cops shooting that woman in DC was just plain wrong. Everyday on "COPS" tv drama they show videos of them doing the old P.I.T. maneuver, boxing drivers in, spike strips, etc. I could rant on and on and on, but I will spare everyone. Everyone have a great weekend, ours may be a little wet.

Don't you SEEEEE?? It's the CAPITAL, which is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than everywhere else, and has "heightened security" and the cops there have to be extra vigilant, due to the VERY IMPORTANT GOVERNMENT that used to do business there.

Obligatory Govt. Shutdown Commentary: Like these assholes needed to supply us any more proof they're incompetent at running the government? Or that they could all vanish and nobody would care or even be able to tell the difference?

Last time they pulled this stunt to get attention, nobody cared either. This time, Lady With Supposed Mental Problems actually gives them some attention, and they shoot her. MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!

While I puke in the general direction of the Capital on a regular basis, this latest stunt is one that could mess us up if they don't quit acting like brats. Well at least that is what many publications are saying (with apologies for my HTML ineptitude)

Now that you mention it... a woman I love (and hate) once got emergency dental care from a Dr. Finger at his office in the Empire State Building. Hmmm...coincidence? Anyway, Dr. Prick, our onomatopoeic physician, sounds like a urologist to me, but then again I have tinnitus.

I asked my friend who works in State and commutes via the Capitol Crescent trail if the feds were actually going to spend more money to shut down the trails than they usually spend ignoring them, and he replied that "They pretend to shut them down, with some little signs, and we pretend to obey, and ride anyway."

Which is a little like the police; they pretend to serve and protect, while apparently having no training whatsoever in non-lethal restraint, and we pretend that they're telling the truth when they swear they saw the panicky Down's syndrome kid in the movie theater "reaching for a weapon" and had no choice but to kill the poor boob.

Ok we did a 15 mile TRAINING RIDE for our dewathlawn. Which consisted of us riding a back road talking about how bad we suck and how we are getting old. Then we watched some Paula Zahn. Dear Lob every time I see that woman I just want to smell her hair. Is that weird. Probably. I bet she knows definition 2.

The answer to #5 is incorrect. I believe that it is in fact a photo of a Cat6 paceline taken at last tuesdays office park crit ("Tuesday Night Worlds" or "TNW" for short). The Cat6 class at TNW is pretty fierce, as you can plainly discern from the photo.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!