1. You have to
believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity wasdue to the work of
Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but that yesterday'sgas prices are all
Clinton's fault.

2. You have to believe that those privileged from
birth achieve successall on their own.

3. You have to be against
government programs, but expect SocialSecurity checks on time.

4.
You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes
aprofit.

5. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as
you don't prayto Allah or Buddah.

6. You have to believe that only
your own teenagers are still virgins.

7. You have to believe that a
woman cannot be trusted with decisionsabout her own body, but that large
corporations should have noregulation or interference
whatsoever.

8. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way,
Jesus shares yourhatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President
Clinton.

9. You have to believe that society is color-blind and growing
up blackin America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still
won't votefor Alan Keyes.

10. You have to believe that it was wise
to allow Ken Starr to spend $50million to attack Clinton because no other
U.S. presidents have everbeen unfaithful to their wives.

11. You
have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgunis bad
because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern forall
Americans.

12. You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of
schools,because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't
have sex.

13. You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because they
defend theConstitution, while the NRA is good because they defend
theConstitution.

14. You have to believe that socialism hasn't
worked anywhere, and thatEurope doesn't exist.

15. You have to
believe that the AIDS virus is not important enough todeserve federal
funding proportionate to the resulting death rate andthat the public
doesn't need to be educated about it, because if we justignore it, it will
go away.

16. You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting
the moralsof 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality,
but theBible, which is full of sex and violence, is good
reading.

17. You have to believe that Chinese communist missiles have
killed moreAmericans than handguns, alcohol and tobacco.

18. You
have to believe that even though governments have supported thearts for
5000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance artwere paid
for by governments, our government should shun any suchsupport. After all,
the rich can afford to buy their own and the poordon't need
any.

19. You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent
of oldgrowth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests
andthe extinction of the several species of plants and animals
therein.

20. You have to believe that we should forgive and pray for
NewtGingrich, Henry Hyde and Bob Livingston for their marital
infidelities,but that that bastard Clinton should be
impeached.---------------------------------------------------------------------To
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