Reignite Your Relationship in 20 Minutes or Less

What if we told you that in less than the length of an episode of New Girl, you could up your passion, improve communication, and feel closer to your special someone? These science-proven expert tips from popular TED Talks explain how.

Create space in your relationship

Create space in your relationship

To desire your mate, leave each other for a bit, says Esther Perel in "The Secret to Desire In a Long-Term Relationship." Our need for security, dependability, and reliability are vital to our relationships, but so are our innate desire for risk, danger, adventure, the unknown, and surprise, which can be hard to find when you've been with the same person for a long time. When researchers asked people when they were most drawn to their partners, about half responded, "When they're away, when we reunite after being apart, when I see them from across the room at a party talking to another person." So make plans to see separate friends this weekend. You'll be more likely to appreciate — and want — each other when you return home.

Watch him in his element

Watch him in his element

In Perel's talk, she also cites a study in which respondents report being most turned on by their partners when they "see them hold court and are confident." Watching your husband from afar while he does something he loves and is good at will shift your perception, increase your desire, and remind you of those talents you may take for granted. Peek at him from the window while he's expertly manning the grill, watch him when he fixes a broken appliance, or appreciate how good he is at coaching yours son's baseball team. You'll remember some of the qualities you were thrilled to discover when you first started dating, and that made you fall in love with him.