Archive for November, 2008

“I was sitting in economy on a Freddie Laker flight, next to this very attractive lady, as we headed to Los Angeles,” said the boss of Virgin Atlantic.

“We got chatting and it went a bit further. And it was every man’s dream, to be honest. I was about 19,” the tycoon boasted.

“I remember getting off the plane and she turned to me and said, ‘Look, it’s slightly embarrassing but I am meeting my husband at arrivals, would you mind holding back a bit.’ But it was a memorable flight.

“The problem with plane loos generally is that they are very small, and the acrobatics can’t take too long because there’s no room and people start banging on the door,” Branson explained.

“What I remember vividly is seeing four handprints on the mirror as we finished, and thinking I’d better wipe them off.”

Branson’s Virgin airline has made no bones about using sex to sell seats. It has used slogans including “Hello gorgeous,” “Love at first flight,” “You never forget your first time,” “More experience than the name suggests,” and “Extra inches where it counts.”

Don’t Be Shy. Jessica DelFino, a “thirtyish” comedian in New York City, recalls her one and only airborne assignation. “A handsome stranger walked by and smiled at me on his way to the bathroom,” she reports. “I jotted a quick note that said, ‘I’d love to have sex with you. Another world, another time, another place … or in the bathroom?’ and passed it to him on his way back to his seat.”

The bathroom it was. According to flight crews, the lavatory is, not surprisingly, where most mile-highers choose to do the deed. “The other flight attendants and I could never figure out the attraction of lavatory sex,” June C. muses. “Those bathrooms are so gross, it’s like having sex in a bus station bathroom.”

The article also links to Mile High Atlanta, where, for a price ($379 per couple), you can literally “make your fantasy a reality.” Here’s a shot of the interior of their plane:

It’s not just the shady peepshow-style implementation of the Wi-Fi filtering that’s got my airline dollars feeling a little shrinkage from the cold eye on my browsing habits; it’s the people pimping the notion of filtering to the airlines in the first place. According to Wired, “Girls Against Porn lobbied American to install filters, urging the airline to consider the harm inappropriate content might have on passengers and citing a particularly disgusting incident that has resulted in a $200,000 lawsuit against American (Airlines). ‘The airlines risk having this happen repeatedly if the Internet isn’t filtered,’ Girls Against Porn said in a statement.” And the Texas Star-Telegram tells us that, “(…) several groups, including the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family, expressed concerns that children could be exposed to pornographic Web sites by adjacent passengers. Daniel Weiss, an analyst for media and sexuality at Focus on the Family Action, recently warned in a statement that “passengers who openly view porn where children can see it may be violating federal harmful-to-minor laws.”

Wow. That’s about all I can say after listening to Ari Gold light up Turtle in the bar at the end of the episode when he finds out that Turtle single-handedly joined the Mile High Club thanks to Jamie-Lynn Sigler.

It was the stuff that makes Best Printable Line worth the time each week.

“Oh yeah, yeah, I’m sure she’s got a fetish for guys who are built like a ‘South Park’ character.”