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How To Choose The Best Coach For You?

Several years ago I got hired by a top silicon valley tech companies to coach one of their senior rising stars. My client was a super bright, go getting, emotionally intelligent, academically brilliant, charismatic, funny, confident and a juggernaut fireball of energy. She was on the rise to the top. Her shrewd manager spotted her potential was way beyond her current role.

I’d been coaching for about eight years so considered myself experienced. I remember during the first coaching session with this client. It stirred my inaugural ‘imposter syndrome’ voice. Surely she’d figure out I wasn’t as smart as she is. Or maybe after the first session she’d say there had been a mistake and didn’t want to work with me after all. Actually the coaching session was incredible and until today we have in one form or other since continued working together. This was back in 2012. In the last seven years its been a pleasure to watch her scale the heights to senior global VP roles. She has recommended and hired me to work with her senior equally smart, ambitious and driven teams.

So why did I have my imposter syndrome moment?

On hindsight I had an image and a limiting belief of what an executive coach should look like and how they behave. A ball breaking, kickass, shouty type…i.e. nothing like me.

Looking back as an executive coach this led me to ask myself the question why these confident, ambitious and driven clients wanted to keep working with me? My archetype is the Mystic (intuitive, think Steve Jobs, not woo woo!) and what came apparent once I’d taken my own medicine on my imposter syndrome was that what these high flyers were drawn to was the safe space I was creating for them. Helping them to connect with their deeper authentic selves to survive and thrive in their competitive landscape.

What kind of coach is the best for you?

Assuming all is equal it’s about how they make you feel? Its taken me a while and when I’ve hired coaches that haven’t worked out. I’ve realised that I’m drawn to smart, ambitious coaches who are also nurturing and intuitive. I don’t respond at all well to the kickass, shouty types at all.