Fake it till you break it

Friday

Jun 27, 2014 at 12:30 PM

Scarlett, I was going through some letters while I was waiting for you to get out of the shower - how long does a shower take, by the way? And I noticed several letters from women AND men wanting to know if they should change themselves so this person or that will love them. Thatís just wrong.

My shower took a long time because I was washing everyoneís flip flops while I was in there.

I donít even know what to say.

Theyíre all clean now! Anyway, I agree with you. You should only change yourself if youíre doing something and every person you meets says, ďHey, what is wrong with you?Ē

I tried to change for a boyfriend once.

Howíd that work out?

It was terrible. I ended up listening to John Denver music while looking at his stamp collection and eating pulled pork sandwiches.

But youíre a vegetarian.

I know! He was totally wrong, so I tried to make myself right for him, not even caring that he was totally wrong for me. What is it about the wrong person that makes us turn ourselves inside out?

I think itís human nature - we want everyone to like us, and when they donít it just makes us try harder. Iím glad that Joe likes me the way I am.

Or that heís just given up.

Every time he asks me to do something differently, I do it worse. So heís stopped. We have a new appreciation for the flaws we know.

Why donít we see how we can change people with good advice?

Q: You see in magazines all the time that famous older men are dating much younger women, theyíre not called anything bad. But when a woman does it sheís a ďcougarĒ or some other bad thing. I met a guy who is 12 years younger (Iím 48, heís 36) than me and I really, really like (itís not love - yet) am I wrong? Not a Cougar in Cohasset

A: Dear Cougar, no itís not wrong. I think age doesnít matter.S: Iím still trying to figure out whatís wrong with cougars. I think cougars are beautiful, even if they do eat the occasional poodle.A: I donít think thatís what she means, Scarlett.S: Oh. Well if you go at it mathematically, the older you get the closer the ages become. So while itís probably good she didnít meet this guy when she was 20, by now itís no big deal. And when theyíre 78 and 90, who really cares?A: Very true. And since 90 is the new 70 they arenít really that far apart.S: Besides, someoneís got to date all those poor single men whose female peers have been snapped up by bajillionaires. May as well be you, Cougar. (Just donít get a poodle.)

Q: My wife and I are having a debate about where to go on our summer vacation. Weíve saved money, so itís not that, but I really want to drive to Yellowstone and camp for two weeks, and she wants to go to Paris. We havenít spoken in a week, but she texted me that she might just go alone. Should I give in? - Camped Out on the Couch

S: It wouldnít be right for her to go to Paris alone.A: So weíll go with your wife! Thank goodness I just renewed my passport!S: Our email address is annabelleandscarlett@gmail.com Tell her weíre waiting to hear from her.A: Iím already packed!S: Oooo la la!

Q: While I am really glad winter is long behind us, I have to admit to not being a huge fan of heat and humidity. How do you keep cool in the summer? - Droopy in Detroit

A: I donít like extremes of any of the seasons. Too hot and too cold are just opposite sides of the same uncomfortable spectrum. I keep fans going all day and night for my pets and me. They hate it too.S: How does a hedgehog let you know heís too hot, Annabelle?A: He gets very surly and refuses to play with others.S: I must be a hedgehog. When itís really bad, I sit with my feet in a tub of ice water. Peanut would need a really small tub and maybe some shaved ice.A: Droopy, dress in light colors, thin fabrics and drink lots and lots of water. And wait until fall to get a hedgehog.

I wonder if Mrs. Camped pretended to like the great outdoors when they were dating, when ďthe great outdoorsĒ for her means a great sidewalk cafe.

Possibly. I learned the hard way to never pretend I like football. One subzero game was all I needed to confess my love of the indoors.

Yes. Be careful about sending false cues, or you could end up at a subzero game, or on vacation with us.

If you have a husband who doesnít want to go on vacation to Europe with you, write us! We travel well. annabelleandscarlett@gmail.com And follow us on Twitter @fixitsisters.

Scarlett, I was going through some letters while I was waiting for you to get out of the shower - how long does a shower take, by the way? And I noticed several letters from women AND men wanting to know if they should change themselves so this person or that will love them. Thatís just wrong.
My shower took a long time because I was washing everyoneís flip flops while I was in there.
I donít even know what to say.
Theyíre all clean now! Anyway, I agree with you. You should only change yourself if youíre doing something and every person you meets says, ďHey, what is wrong with you?Ē
I tried to change for a boyfriend once.
Howíd that work out?
It was terrible. I ended up listening to John Denver music while looking at his stamp collection and eating pulled pork sandwiches.
But youíre a vegetarian.
I know! He was totally wrong, so I tried to make myself right for him, not even caring that he was totally wrong for me. What is it about the wrong person that makes us turn ourselves inside out?
I think itís human nature - we want everyone to like us, and when they donít it just makes us try harder. Iím glad that Joe likes me the way I am.
Or that heís just given up.
Every time he asks me to do something differently, I do it worse. So heís stopped. We have a new appreciation for the flaws we know.
Why donít we see how we can change people with good advice?
Q: You see in magazines all the time that famous older men are dating much younger women, theyíre not called anything bad. But when a woman does it sheís a ďcougarĒ or some other bad thing. I met a guy who is 12 years younger (Iím 48, heís 36) than me and I really, really like (itís not love - yet) am I wrong? Not a Cougar in Cohasset
A: Dear Cougar, no itís not wrong. I think age doesnít matter.
S: Iím still trying to figure out whatís wrong with cougars. I think cougars are beautiful, even if they do eat the occasional poodle.
A: I donít think thatís what she means, Scarlett.
S: Oh. Well if you go at it mathematically, the older you get the closer the ages become. So while itís probably good she didnít meet this guy when she was 20, by now itís no big deal. And when theyíre 78 and 90, who really cares?
A: Very true. And since 90 is the new 70 they arenít really that far apart.
S: Besides, someoneís got to date all those poor single men whose female peers have been snapped up by bajillionaires. May as well be you, Cougar. (Just donít get a poodle.)
Q: My wife and I are having a debate about where to go on our summer vacation. Weíve saved money, so itís not that, but I really want to drive to Yellowstone and camp for two weeks, and she wants to go to Paris. We havenít spoken in a week, but she texted me that she might just go alone. Should I give in? - Camped Out on the Couch
S: It wouldnít be right for her to go to Paris alone.
A: So weíll go with your wife! Thank goodness I just renewed my passport!
S: Our email address is annabelleandscarlett@gmail.com Tell her weíre waiting to hear from her.
A: Iím already packed!
S: Oooo la la!
Q: While I am really glad winter is long behind us, I have to admit to not being a huge fan of heat and humidity. How do you keep cool in the summer? - Droopy in Detroit
A: I donít like extremes of any of the seasons. Too hot and too cold are just opposite sides of the same uncomfortable spectrum. I keep fans going all day and night for my pets and me. They hate it too.
S: How does a hedgehog let you know heís too hot, Annabelle?
A: He gets very surly and refuses to play with others.
S: I must be a hedgehog. When itís really bad, I sit with my feet in a tub of ice water. Peanut would need a really small tub and maybe some shaved ice.
A: Droopy, dress in light colors, thin fabrics and drink lots and lots of water. And wait until fall to get a hedgehog.
I wonder if Mrs. Camped pretended to like the great outdoors when they were dating, when ďthe great outdoorsĒ for her means a great sidewalk cafe.
Possibly. I learned the hard way to never pretend I like football. One subzero game was all I needed to confess my love of the indoors.
Yes. Be careful about sending false cues, or you could end up at a subzero game, or on vacation with us.
If you have a husband who doesnít want to go on vacation to Europe with you, write us! We travel well. annabelleandscarlett@gmail.com And follow us on Twitter @fixitsisters.