A Mom of 3 beauties navigates her way through motherhood...in Hollywood.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Life's A Dance...

Whew! I have been so tired these days...I don't know if it is the overcast weather that rarely hits LA or if it is the fact that I have been running around like crazy keeping up with the beauties. More likely that fact that this month is the busiest month for HollyHome every year!

The Handsome Pilot & His Birthday Present

In February we celebrate approximately 7 birthdays (that I can remember right now). The Handsome Pilot turned 31 years old this year. Which made me think all the way back to his 21st birthday...Mardi Gras St. Louis. We drove all the way from college (about 4 hours away) only to discover that he had forgotten his ID! We didn't need it anyway, but still silly to think of the irony. Spend 21 years to be able to flash that bad boy and then can't find it the ONE day you want to be carded. Such strange twists and turns life has taken since then. Each one BIG...each one WILD...each one as EXCITING as the next! The first major turn for us happened shortly after we met in NYC where he asked me to live with him...which lead to the next reason February is such a busy month...OUR FIRST LITTLE BEAUTY GRAYCE!

Grayce turned NINE years old this year! I can't hardly believe NINE! It all went so fast...and slow at the same time. I mean it seems like I have ALWAYS been a mother...but really its only been 9 short years and she is still my baby girl...not ready for the real world...still so much to learn...still so much to teach her! Yet at the same time she is half-way out of the house...in another 9 short years she will be leaving for college. My beautiful Grayce-- I cried everyday dropping you off at school until the 2nd grade and not a day goes by that I am not excited to pick you up from school!

G's Chuck E Birthday

We have planned to celebrate her birthday later in the month with her friends. Never fail every year it's hard to plan a birthday party around Valentine's Day. You'd think it was Christmas the way everyone has plans! But that is more like Ava's Birthday! So we were gonna do a low key dinner and a movie...which she changed her mind and wanted to go to Chuck E Cheese! Cool with me...her closest friend (and mine too) met us there! It was a great time. She didn't actually ask for much this year which meant she got everything she asked for at age nine! I am just lucky she provided a list...cuz I had nothing in mind! Bedroom is redecorated...she got her bike for Christmas just 2 months ago...and loves her new place :) Life is content for her...especially now that she got a remote control helicopter, a 'life' saber and pink legos :) OH and clothes for her Ken doll...apparently he needed a new outfit because his old one didn't fit anymore and according to Ava Jo it didn't match Barbies outfits!

Today Grayce and I had a bit of a misunderstanding! OH the joys of having estrogen overload in the house...mixed with a new decorated bathroom...and the clumsiness that runs in our DNA (on both sides)!

In the moments where I have to come down on her my heart breaks in half! She is a great kiddo...she is smart, kind, and more beautiful on the inside than I could every dream! I have always told the girls that I am not their friend--I am their MOM! So many times it is easy to look at how someone else is mothering and think or worse say how you would do it better. No one can love and care for your child like you can, so you can't start doing it like everyone else would. As their mother you have shared every heart beat with them...you watched as they took their first breath...you loved before they were even a thought in your mind...and you bear the burden of guiding them into full human beings!

Tonight our misunderstanding started when the shower curtian rod did a graceful slide down the shower wall while she was in the bath tub. I tried to fix it when Grayce was in and out of the tub doing I am not sure what...lol! I asked her to stay in or out because the floor would get wet and I didn't want her tangled up in the shower curtain. Two more times she went in and then out...I figured I'd just take the curtian out for the time being and when I reached up to grab it she decided to jump out of the tub again bumping into me I stepped backwards into the metal shampoo holder and let out a very strange sounding 'YELP!' instead of a curse word that I wanted to say! I then turned to G who looked like a guilty puppy...I handed her a towel and began the 'Be Aware Of Your Surroundings Lecture' for the 3rd time this week! Not yelling...but the Mama voice.
After the 2 mins that takes she said 'You scared me! I thought I was in soooo much trouble...'

Those words broke my heart even more than the normal heart break from the trouble they get into!

I said Grayce what scared you...because I yelled?

She said 'No.'

I asked 'because I fell?'

She said 'No.'

Then I knew and asked her...'Because you thought I would be mad?'

Grayce gave me a nod of yes. 'Do I seem mad now? Are you in trouble?'' I asked back to back.

Grayce was so cute with a smile in her response, "No. But you were scared weren't you!"

"UH---YES Grayce!...Mama's big butt could have crushed you into a bug!"

She totally agreed!

I told her this then...but I am telling her again now!

Baby Girl--I want you to know that I could never get mad at you! Never be scared to make me mad! Never be scared to disappoint me! I am your Mama always and always I will love you. Always I am on your side. Always I will hold your hand when the world scares you! I am flattered that you want to never disappoint me...but Grayce Kathleen 'Well behaved women rarely make history, just ask Eleanor Roosevelt! Go make your mistakes...go take your chances...do it now! Because after 9 more years I will have to let you go into a world that will expect perfection from me as a parent to have taught you everything you need to know. Each moment now is a moment I can teach you something! Each moment ALWAYS is a moment you can learn something new! Tonight we learned 'Don't ask a shower curtain to dance while it is already dancing with someone else...its dangerous!'
Aside from losing skin that used to be on the bottom of my toes...it was a painless and comical experience. Yesterday though Coach had to lecture you about crossing the parking lot because you could have been hit by a car...toys get broken and you get sad because you will step on things rather than pick them up off the floor...you are always walking into people because you spend so much time looking at your feet or up at the sky...I saw a little girl almost get taken from her mother at a store in a news article. My sweet girl I am NOT mad at you! You did nothing wrong...it's not your fault...we are all clumsy girls in this house :) I just want you to learn to always be aware of your surroundings and prevent the things you can...but know how to work through the things you can't. I want you to pause and think, even if for a moment, before you make a choice. This is one of the biggest things I can teach you before you begin to explore the world on your own. Trust me as a girl and someday a woman it will be SO VERY important to be aware of things around you and how your own actions can affect any situation (good or bad)! I love you! --Mama

My sweet girl...I didn't yell at her...I didn't punish her...there was no need to do so! She felt bad though...which is more than I can say for her sisters who laughed their tails off in the doorway! LOL
back at you little buggers! After I finished all that talking she said "NOT SCARED OF YOU...scared you were going to break something and it would be my fault!" OH--I may have read into that a bit much :) That little dance I did with the shower curtain was probably the best thing that could have shown her and our conversation to follow was the most important one we will ever have...well until the day she figures out I have ALWAYS been her best friend!

The Birthday Boy and Girl

Overall, this year has been awesome. I have been home WAY more now that I am not taking classes and doing the internship. I have taken a much needed step back to recoup and make a steady step forward. Spent some much needed time with the beauties and have opportunities knocking and waiting for me to answer. I welcome the busy that the last part of the month will bring. More importantly we are days away from not looking at another box in this place (oh the joys of finding things in storage you haven't seen in years)! We have hit a rhythm and routine that will allow me to step into a job soon and I have even been thinking about jumping onto a feature film. I have enjoyed the short term of commercials and television. Like a crazy woman though I miss the excitement of a feature and welcome the right chance to do one again...the one that makes all that crap work worth it!

G's Birthday Breakfast

So far so good. I'll post pics of the new bathroom soon. Along with all the crafts we have done this year...For now enjoy the new Hipstomatic App I got for foodies!

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About Me

I am a mother. That is my first love and my first job. It is what I wanted to be when I grew up...well that and an astronaut. It was not until later like age 9 I found a love for making films and performing on stage! I am a HollyMommy to three beautiful HollyGirls! We are enjoying our time living in Hollywood,CA. We moved with a lot of passion and decided to do the city thing for ONE year. Trying our chance at LOVE, CAREER, DREAMS, and a NEW LIFE!
For me....I want my girls to know that passion and drive will always fuel you...and sometimes you will have to tap into your reserve tank! I want them to know dreaming won't stop...act on it...believe in it...believe in yourself...but most of ALL believe in EACH OTHER!