Dumbass Pages

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Group Sex, Drugs & the SWAT Team!

I find that marriage, even in the best of times, is quite a challenge. One man, one woman. Ain't that enough? Evidently not.

At least not for a Zephyrhills, Florida couple.

Here's the deal:

The Deal

Luck to Still Have Gazebos

Mindi and David Hill are both 29 years old and married. To each other. However, they have a 24 year old lady friend is who very close to them. Or should I say used to be very close to them. She was a close enough friend to have been invited to join them in a menage a three. OK, you male Dumbasses, put your tongues back in your mouths, I am about to bust your bubble.

So Dave. Mindi and the friend, we'll call her Susie, all get nekkid and bump uglies. They also shot themselves up with prescription drugs. This is very bad joo joo. Especially when there are firearms involved. Did I not mention that this threesome of freaked out fornicators also had a pistol handy? They did.

After getting smashed then doing the Dirty Deed all together, the three Dumbasses passed out. Mindi woke up to David trying to "get some" from Susie and it pissed Mindi off - because she was not in on the orgy! The mere fact that her husband was schtooping some other slut right in front of her eyes was not Mindi's main concern. Her main bitch was the fact that she was not in on the action!

Then the real fun started.

Extracurricular Action

Having been left out of the group grope, Mindi did what any spurned whore would do under the circumstances - she grabbed a pistol. She then threatened to shoot Susie and to add an exclamation point to her argument, Mindi fired off a round from the pistol into the ceiling! Dave took exception to Minid's lack of decorum with their concubine and immediately sprang to his feet grabbed Mindi by the check with his best WWE choke hold, snagged the gun from her and for added emphasis, with the gun very near Mindi's skull, squeezed of a shot into the wall and said to Mindi, and I am quoting here, "Bitch, I'll fucking kill you!"

This series of events alarmed Susie who quickly escaped and called the cops.

More Family Fun!

I am not making this up. As evidence I offer you part of the report from the Tampa Bay Times, "The husband and wife refused to come outside, so the SWAT team assembled.The
standoff lasted two hours. The couple eventually came outside
voluntarily, but Mr. Rice fought with deputies who shocked him with a
Taser. He ran back inside, barricading doors, but was persuaded to give
up by negotiators. The couple remained in jail Thursday, charged with aggravated assault. Mr.
Rice was also charged with obstructing officers and held without bail.
He was supposed to be in court for a trial Sept. 4 to face charges of
burglary, grand theft and possession of oxycodone, court records state.Mrs.
Rice, held in lieu of $5,000 bail, was sentenced in June to two years
of felony probation for credit card fraud, according to the Florida
Department of Corrections. Authorities said she stole the credit card in
2011 so she could bail her husband out of jail"

A Lesson for Dumbasses of the Male Persuasion
It is abundantly clear that the old adage "a man can't stock two shelves" comes into play here. Guys, no matter how much you'd like to "enhance your marriage", meaning "screw your neighbor lady", this is what happens when you attempt to mess with the Natural Order of Things. Just when you think, "All right! I'll finally get to bag Cindy from next door", your wife will, because that what wives do, get insanely jealous of your tryste with Cindy and want to a) shoot your philandering ass or b) give you a rusty butter knife gazebo-ectomy. Pick your poison, if you must.

Fellow Male Dumbasses, I tell you this with love, concern for the well-being of gazebos everywhere and the purest of dumbassery in my heart.