MONICA: Stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.

JOEY: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?

ROSS: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that!

PHOEBE: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta.

CHANDLER: And, we're done with the yogurt.

PHOEBE: Sorry.

JOEY: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? This is your baby. Hi Daddy!

ROSS: Hello!

JOEY: How come you don't live with Mommy? How come Mommy lives with that other lady? What's a lesbian?

ROSS: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be... flung by now?

ROSS: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?

CAROL: Uh, that's our friend Tanya.

ROSS: Of course it's your friend Tanya.

CAROL: Don't you want to know about the sex?

ROSS: The sex? Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya, yaw...

CAROL: The sex of the baby, Ross.

CHANDLER: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?

JOEY: That's the rule.

CHANDLER: What rule? There's no rule, if anything, you owe me a table!

JOEY: How'd you get to that?

CHANDLER: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio

JOEY: You knew about that?

CHANDLER: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.

MONICA: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.

JOEY: So what's it gonna be?

ROSS: Wait - oh - hey - huh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know!

MONICA: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt!

JOEY: Or an uncle...

PHOEBE: He made a move on me.

JOEY & CHANDLER: Oooohhh...

ROSS: My God!

MONICA: Are you sure?

PHOEBE: Oh yeah, I'm sure. And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore.

MONICA: Was it...?

PHOEBE: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.

GUYS: Oooooo...

RACHEL: "Ooo", what?

PHOEBE: Uma Thurman.

PHOEBE: Ok, um, we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world.

RACHEL: Ok, thanks Pheebs. Oh my God,

PHOEBE: I know.

RACHEL: Why have I never tasted these before?

PHOEBE: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.

RACHEL: All right, well, you're right, these are the best oatmeal cookies I've ever had.

PHOEBE: Which proves that I never lie.

CHANDLER: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!

ROSS: What, now?

JOEY: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!

CHANDLER: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross!

PHOEBE: Oh, just look at her...

ROSS: Oh you guys, I-I really think just one of us should go out there so she's not overwhelmed...