Are you an adult with High-Functioning Autism or Asperger's? Are you struggling emotionally, socially, spiritually or otherwise?

Then you've come to the right place. We are here to help you in any way we can. Kick off your shoes and stay awhile.

Search This Blog

From the Perspective of a Male Aspie: The Positives and Challenges of Asperger’s

Hi. My name is Rick. I’m a 23 year old guy on the autism spectrum. These are my observations from a male perspective on how Asperger’s affects daily life (these observations may or may not be true for you):

The Positives—

1. Attention to detail – sometimes with painstaking perfection
2. Can spend hours in the library researching, love learning and information
3. Excellent rote memory
4. Experts say that many people with AS have a higher than average general IQ.
5. Focus and diligence – The ability to focus on tasks for a long period of time without needing supervision or incentive is legendary.
6. Higher fluid intelligence – Scientists have discovered that people with AS have a higher fluid intelligence than non-autistic people. Fluid intelligence is "the ability to find meaning in confusion and solve new problems. It is the ability to draw inferences and understand the relationships of various concepts, independent of acquired knowledge.”
7. Highly gifted in one or more areas (e.g., math, music, etc.)
8. Honesty – the value of being able to say “the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.”
9. Independent, unique thinking – People with AS tend to spend a lot of time alone and will likely have developed their own unique thoughts as opposed to a “herd mentality.”
10. Internal motivation – as opposed to being motivated by praise, money, bills or acceptance. This ensures a job done with conscience, with personal pride.
11. Logic over emotion – Although people with AS are very emotional at times, we spend so much time ‘computing’ in our minds that we get quite good at it. We can be very logical in our approach to problem-solving.
12. Visual, three-dimensional thinking – Many people with AS are very visual in their thought processes, which lends itself to countless useful and creative applications.
13. We can be very loyal to one person.

The Areas of Challenge—

1. Being "in our own world"

2. Can obsess about having friends to prove we’re “normal”

3. Clumsiness / Uncoordinated motor movements

4. Collect things (in excess)

5. Desire for friendships and social contact, but difficulty acquiring and maintaining them

6. Difficulty understanding others’ feelings

7. Don't always recognize faces right away (even close loved ones)

8. Eccentric personality

9. Flat, or blank expression much of the time

10. Great difficulty with small-talk and chatter

11. Have an urge to inform that can result in being blunt / insulting

12. Idiosyncratic attachment to inanimate objects

13. Lack of empathy at times

14. Lack of interest in other people

15. Likes and dislikes can be very rigid

16. Limited interests / Intense focus on one or two subjects

17. May have a hard time saying I love you, showing physical affection

18. May have difficulty staying in college despite a high level of intelligence

34. We can become quite defensive when our lady asks for clarification or a little sympathy. The defensiveness can turn into verbal abuse (usually not physical abuse) as we attempt to control the communication to suit our view of the world.

35. We find emotions messy and unquantifiable. If our partner tries to share her love for us, we may find her need to “connect” smothering.

36. We need to withdraw and have solitude.

37. We often feel as if our partner is being ungrateful or “bitchy” when she complains about how we are uncaring or “never listen.”

38. We take life too seriously.

39. We takes things too personally.

NOTE: I'm comfortable being who I am. This is why I used the term "challenges" rather than "deficits." I don't look at the 39 observations above as "bad" traits. Rather, they are areas that I will be working on to improve. And we all can improve ...we all have challenges. That's life! I'm going to meet these challenges head-on!! Won't you join me?

COMMENTS:

• Anonymous said... I was wondering last night how I could get into my son's head so I can get even a glimpse of how he thinks. Rationally I know I have to change my approach but sometimes I feel I have no way to relate. Even though you are a different person I see some of the things you are talking about in my son. I really appreciate you sharing this.• Anonymous said... My daughter is the same way.• Anonymous said... My son is 16 and has his first girlfriend first friend period and I see a lot of what you’re saying in him I think he likes her because she showed interest but it's been like 2 months and I can see he is not interested in keeping the relationship going like he can't be bothered anymore I'm not sure how to go out talking with him about it and all he says is he doesn't want to talk about it it's frustrating!!• Anonymous said... Rick, I love this post. My 15 year old accepted this designation when he was younger but now that he's in his teen years, he's denying it. He has many of the characteristics you name and though at times difficult, I love all the idiosyncrasies. Our "challenge" (a word I use regularly instead of "problem") is getting him to accept himself just the way he is.• Anonymous said... Wow I feel better for reading this and all your comments I thought I was a parental alien until now. Others who have no idea don't see what we experience as parents. Sadly I have had to endure so called professionals who cite horrid theories as to why a teen with HFA behaves in the ways stated in the article. That impacts vastly on relationships when you are not believed. My son is amazing being a teen is difficult for any child but for those with HAD it’s a minefield for them and their parents who generally are on the end of their frustrations. Brilliant article am very grateful. Thank u.

3 comments:

Thank you for this. Love how you see it as challenge and will work on improving. Yes, we all have room to improve. My son is now in college but still working to improve. I am so proud of him! I think these tips will help him clarify his progress and needs.