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I am feeling surprisingly upbeat despite what’s been going on. I have to say that everyone’s comments have been SO appreciated. This whole experience has been so surreal and having online blogging friends like you guys helps me stay sane and reminds me that we are not alone on this path (even though it often feels like we are).

All in all the experience itself was fine. I definitely got closure. It started with my last ultrasound. I was surprised to see that one week later nothing had changed, there was still a sac, an embryo and a heartbeat- but it was definitely not normal and not measuring up to a normal 9 week pregnancy. It measured only 6 weeks in size and appeared abnormally formed – not like a normal embryo/fetus should. The heartbeat was still going in the low 90’s which really surprised me. This pregnancy has had the best track record of a heartbeat compared to my previous pregnancies and I was amazed to see it struggling for life to the bitter end. Although it doesn’t prove anything I did get some encouragement that maybe if we just had a healthy embryo in their that my body could actually carry it to term. Seeing my body support even this crappy pregnancy so well, it makes me think maybe there is still a chance to make a healthy baby in me with the right raw materials from the start (ie. IVF with PGD testing first). This feels like a big relief as I was seriously researching surrogacy thinking it might be my only option other than adoption.

Next steps are to just wait for the test results. I am optimistic to hear SOMETHING new. We are guaranteed to not repeat our last disappointing and un-usable test that showed a healthy female. “Healthy female” may have been the pregnancy or it may have been me and there is no way to know, so the test was basically considered invalid. This time we are testing my cells and the pregnancy cells separately in a more extensive test (PDG) from a fancier lab- Gene Security Network.

The other big news is I finally convinced Mr. Star to take me on a vacation! Other than quick overnights once in a while we haven’t had a real vacation in years. The last few were cancelled because of medical issues like this or because of Mr. Star’s grueling work schedule. Since we want to go in the next month and are planning things a bit last minute we are struggling to find deals. I had dreams of going to Europe or even Bora Bora, but those require more time to plan and are much more expensive and stressful if we plan to do site seeing too. For now I am eying resorts in Hawaii as it sounds low stress and is easy to get to from San Francisco.

Also this next weekend my friend is throwing another bash at a nightclub in SF and I plan to take full advantage of the experience now that the drinking ban has been lifted. ; )

6 Responses to “Day After D & C and Final Ultrasound”

I’m happy to hear you’re doing okay and how exciting you’re going to go on vacation! I think that will be really really good for you and your hubby. I’ve been thinking about you a lot in the last few days, and it’s great you got some somewhat positive news that it was fighting to the very end. I also think that’s a good sign.

I’d also like to talk to you about what you’ve learned through your research on surrogacy, though. Although, like you, there’s been nothing conclusive in my test results that indicate that would even work for me. I just don’t know. At this point, nothing feels right…but I think I’m just being stubborn and having a hard time calling defeat.

Let’s find a time we can get together…I think it will be good for the both of us!

I don’t know if my journey/experience will help, but after birthing my son in 2006, I had seven early miscarriages (blighted ovum, lost heartbeat, and undetectable embryos). I had every test known to OB’s and RE’s and after everything, wad still normal. I read a blog about a similar story about a gal who used Lovenox (injectable blood thinner) and carried her pregnancy to term. My daughter was born in 2009 after use of Lovenox. I am pregnant again- only carrying again due to Lovenox. Good luck. Keep fighting!! PS- I’m in San Jose if you ever want to meet.

Glad you’re feeling OK…have been thinking of you! And yay for a night out in SF and a vacation! Hawaii is awesome and so easy…probably just the thing for you guys right now.
PS I didn’t know you were in San Francisco…I lived there for 7 years and still telecommute out of there…love the Bay area…