The Four Types of Female Friends to Avoid

Female friendships have always been the most precarious relationships in my life. Recently, I was looking through an old album and wasn't even able to remember some of the names of girls I used to believe were my best friends. While this is indeed sad (or perhaps, another sign suggesting early onset Alzheimer's), it is also a testament to the reality that true female friendships are extremely difficult to find and maintain. Stop wasting time and energy on fake companionship. Here's a list of a few types of buds to avoid-- you know, girls that are more suited for nightmares than pants sharing.

The Crazy Bitch

We all know a crazy bitch-- she's the one who screamed at you (and consequently defriended you) for purchasing a similar birthday cake to hers. In fact, the police caught her just as she was about to set fire to the bakery, which she also held responsible.

It's natural you want to save this friendship, because your pal started out sane. She was normal and happy once-- she didn't need to be sedated or tied up in a strait jacket. Her descent into insanity was gradual, hardly noticeable, until one day, she throws a bottle at your face, and suddenly, it hits you: She's flown over the cuckoo's nest!

We often hope that these friends will revert back to normalcy, but unless they opt for counseling or therapy, chances are slim. Stop making yourself crazy and run far, far away from this friendship.

The Hypochondriac or Chronic Worrier

She's sure she has an STD, is most likely pregnant (with twins) and has at least 80 different allergies-- she's your friendly neighborhood hypochondriac.

For her, everything is the worst-case scenario, which means getting a hang nail means she'll have to amputate her finger or someone cutting her off on the freeway means she's the worst driver on the planet. You find that your friendship has devolved into soothing her outlandish fears and concerns and rubbing her back as you wait for another mental breakdown to occur, just two exits away.

While it's important to take care of your friends, the hypochondriac worrier just robs you of your emotional support, and what do you get in return? Conspiracy theories and a lot of trips to the pharmacy. It's time you write your own prescription and end this toxic relationship.

The Girl Who has Everything

It's difficult not to despise the girl who has everything, because in addition to being gorgeous, rich, thin, fashionable

and smart, she's also probably really nice (or great at pretending to be.) She might even be a princess, which really makes us want to kill her.

Once in a while, jealousy still rears her ugly little head and your lack of job, American Express Black Card and 7-series BMW becomes more and more apparent. Not only does her having everything affect your self-worth, but it may also cause you to become critical (talk crap) of your friendship. If you can keep your emotions in check, then great for you, but if you're in a particularly less advantageous state of affairs, having this kind of friend may reiterate just how unfair life actually is.

The Party Girl a.k.a. Most likely to End Up in Jail

Channeling Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and the rest of the female Hollywood brat pack notorious for drunk driving, pouting for mugshots and having very little talent. These

ladies are all versions of the party girl-- she's fun, pretty, gets into all the coolest parties, and for some miraculous reason, is still friends with you.

But wait. She's calling you from the police station at 3 a.m. to come bail you out, and it's your new Rory Becca dress that she spilled her fourth Red Bull vodka all over (without an apology). That's because the party girl doesn't care very much about anything but the party, and for her, maintaining a friendship simply means she has someone to enter or exit a party with. Bounce this fake friendship from the club and keep your finances and fashion intact.

The Copycat (*Bonus)

So, you're in the mood for a toasty grilled cheese sandwich. So is your friend. And a quick trip to the bank. What a coincidence, so is your friend. And an oil change. Yep. So is she. Meet the copycat-- she looks like an individual, but she is just a carbon copy of your opinions and preferences. Ask her what she wants to do, and she'll respond enthusiastically with her favorite phrase: "Whatever you want!"

The copycat loves your fashion sense, your boyfriend and your apartment, so don't be surprised if the next day she's got everything you have and is still calling you for advice on which laundry detergent to use.

The copycat can't help being a copycat, which is why ending this friendship can be particularly sad. She might be a victim of low self-esteem or have grown up a lemming-- whatever the case, it's difficult to maintain a relationship with someone who depends on you to make all of her life's decisions. Pull the plug on the copy machine and let her go.

Wow! These "toxic" relationships are incredibly, unnecessarily woman-focused and misogynistic (it's so nice to see the term "crazy bitch" used in Psychology Today!). I'm all for ending unhealthy relationships, but this article simply took the easy out of stereotypes, and just talking about what nutjobs us ladies can be (especially when two out of the four photos to demonstrate the condition are taken from films... which denote women as abusive nutjobs)! Amirite?! WHOOO!

On an unrelated, though mildly amusing, note, while the headline denotes four types of terrible women, the article lists five (though I have a feeling that this was based on an editor counting the photos instead of actually reading the article).

A women that has everything and is nice about it should be avoided? Someone having everything has at least something to do with perception. How is it valid to exclude and avoid someone because you haven't worked on your own perceived inadequacies? Which article would you write for the woman who feels like she is a kind person and happy with her life except that she's suspicious women avoid her and she can't seem to find female companionship? That really seems to me like you are objectifying a person by not being able to check your own compulsive need to compare yourself. I don't think there is a club of "women who have everything and need not be jealous of each other". Friendships are deeper than that or at least should be, like the little quirks that make you click and able to deeply care for each other.

Maybe you should qualify who the article is directed to- if you're hopelessly insecure- then your only option is to exclude a potentially wonderful supportive person or they are toxic.

What kind of pop psychology is this? Were you a successful good looking psych student who could not stand to fall a little short of another successful woman? I can see the need for self preservation here and there in life but I don't feel that it legitimizes your advice here. I feel bad for the girl you may have avoided and excluded from group outings or maybe even kept on the outskirts of events because their success undermines in your mind they're need for friendship and acceptance.

Wonderful young girls are really destroyed in early years for the reasoning articulated in this article. Feeling like there must be something "wrong" with them. I would prefer to drill self confidence into my daughter everyday and make sure she knows her value so she can really appreciate people for who they are. It is just as unfair to find fault with a perfectly kind "lucky" person as it is for a person unfortunate when it is outside of their control.

I totally agree on the other three but not this one im afraid NO ONE HAS EVERYTHING! That is an illusion that the jealous or envious friend has and there not a very good friend if you dog on them for simply being more priveleged than they. That person might have enough fake freinds befriending them for what they have got already and leaving them would make it worse FOR THEM every one has problems including those who seem to have everything and there is a good chance they worked hard to be were they may be today. Not eveyone is living of daddys cash you know well any way this seems more like the work of a sixteen yr old than a serious article who iTs petty enough to break off a freindship because you feel that person has more than you but you never know what happens in their every day life or how they feel when the big b-day party ends and everyone else goes home. I would never make such an assumption and im a sophmore in highschool! I came here for plausible objective info not biased school girl gossip.

those comments so far about this article being sexist - give me a break - where is your sense of humour? I bet none of you would scream "sexism" if this was an article full of stereotypes about lame men... now, what I'd really like to know thow is just exactly how do you get rid of those unbearable female friends? I have been in such a situation for years with a major bore, but but breaking up with a woman? how? advice anyone?

Won't you people relax. It's clearly not a psychological essay. Albeit it wouldn't be hard to fill it with psych jargon and prose, and tell you all the same thing, only sounding scholarly, psychological and boring now.

Sexism aside... I am SHOCKED that this has been printed on PsychologyToday.com, which one would hope would foster an open and friendly attitude to those who are suffering from mental illness. This article manages to alienate just about everyone in the world - the "crazy", the "anxious"... even the NICE! Perhaps it's a satirical piece? Jokes lost on me. Awful. You should be truly ashamed, Jen.

"It's difficult not to despise the girl who has everything, because in addition to being gorgeous, rich, thin, fashionable and smart, she's also probably really nice"

1. What is wrong with being smart, thin and nice? What's up with this jealousy and hatred? Why not learn from people who are better than you instead of despising them? Maybe you can learn their approaches to health, diet, fashion and etiquette?

Jen, my post is not meant to criticize or degrade. Please examine your causes of jealousy and work on them. Feelings of inadequacy cause this strong envy or desire to chase the unattainable (bad boys).

If this is a psychological essay where the author examines her thoughts and does some self-analysis, that's fine. But this article is packaged as ADVICE on a site that's devoted to helping people.

2. "She might even be a princess, which really makes us want to kill her".

This is just plain antisocial nonsense.

Freud was right that those who want to become therapists first need to be treated themselves so that they don't project their issues on patients.

"1. What is wrong with being smart, thin and nice? What's up with this jealousy and hatred? Why not learn from people who are better than you instead of despising them? Maybe you can learn their approaches to health, diet, fashion and etiquette?"
What is wrong with being human, and conceding that we feel jealously from time to time? Not to mention that, being smart does not equal to being a sage.
As Oscar Wilde wisely says: "Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."

"...site that's devoted to helping people"
My observation is that many blog posts from many bloggers here are merely thought provoking, or personal views not necessarily grounded on any clinical approach, or not designed to serve as self-help. While you are certainly far from being the only one raising this presumption, I would argue that there's a whole bunch of other bloggers to be picked on considering those terms.

"This is just plain antisocial nonsense."
You're not antisocial yourself, are you? Otherwise I think you could get the sarcasm in her sentence. (but seriously, one of the signs in people with either intrapersonal or interpersonal disorders is inability to get sarcarm.)

"Freud was right that those who want to become therapists first need to be treated themselves so that they don't project their issues on patients."
She's not a psychologist, she clearly states that in her subsequent piece.

All in all, what you're interpreting her words on the worst possible light to corroborate yours and other people's initial complaint: 'That this is not PT material'
Do you really think she's a hateful, jealous antisocial girl? Look at her pic, how cute she is =) I think that settles it. :)

"It's difficult not to despise the girl who has everything, because in addition to being gorgeous, rich, thin, fashionable and smart, she's also probably really nice"

1. What is wrong with being smart, thin and nice? What's up with this jealousy and hatred? Why not learn from people who are better than you instead of despising them? Maybe you can learn their approaches to health, diet, fashion and etiquette?

Jen, my post is not meant to criticize or degrade. Please examine your causes of jealousy and work on them. Feelings of inadequacy cause this strong envy or desire to chase the unattainable (bad boys).

If this is a psychological essay where the author examines her thoughts and does some self-analysis, that's fine. But this article is packaged as ADVICE on a site that's devoted to helping people.

2. "She might even be a princess, which really makes us want to kill her".

This is just plain antisocial nonsense.

Freud was right that those who want to become therapists first need to be treated themselves so that they don't project their issues on patients.

As a man I think that there are women eho follow into these categories. Men and women have entirely different kinds of friendships; men are more likely to not have a toxic friendship and to quickly end them if they become dysfunctional. Women tend to ride things out in hopes the situation will change. So despite the tongue in cheek nature of the article there are several grains of truth.

I am offended by "The Crazy Bitch". I do not think Psychology Today should have articles that encourage women to refer to their friends as Crazy Bitches, and talking about these "Crazy Bitch" friends as being "sane once" and needing to be in a "straightjacket". I have one of these friends in my group of girls and I a offended when my other girls call her "nuts", "psycho" or "crazy" because I have mental health issues and I have always had these words usd against me. This language is very oppressive.

I agree - I really dislike the tone of this article. I've seen this kind of thing before in a few recent posts on the "who to dump" theme that's been about recently. I know it's supposed to be light hearted, but the thing is, it's not a lighthearted thing to know you might be the "crazy" one. I know I've been that person occasionally due to a few bad patches with ocd and depression. I didn't expect people to hang around for me, but the few that did I will never forget. I am and have always been a loyal and compassionate friend in return, because I know what it means when someone stands by you. If I can, I will be there. Don't judge people for having a hard time. When did friendship become only about what others can do for us?