Pat Buchanan Puts Craig’s Foot (?) In His Mouth

Rather than reading an intelligent book last night (currently Henning Mankell’s The Man Who Smiled) I lazily flipped through the channels hoping to catch some actual news. And lo and behold, to my utter disgust, there was Pat Buchanan toiling in the groves of a group gangbang discussion of Senator Larry Craig, of recent “I’m not gay” fame.

Normally I cannot stand to look at or listen to Buchanan or his ilk, but I caught a bit of what he was saying, and it was just so…so hypocritically Conservative, so foul and worm-ridden, that I forced myself to listen for a brief moment. Deer in the headlight sort of thing, you know.

Buchanan was arguing that Craig was not being hypocritical when he pummeled gays through anti-gay legislation while engaging in blowjobs in public bathrooms.

Buchanan suggested that Craig suffered a compulsion to engage in gay sex, so his actions didn’t disqualify him from being a strong family values promoter (read anti-gay, anti-poor, anti-healthcare, pro-war, pro-rich), didn’t qualify him as a hypocrite. Compulsion is a defense against hypocrisy, says Paddy. So, let’s see, a serial murderer publicly condemns killers and votes for the death penalty, but he’s not a hypocrite because he suffers a psychotic compulsion. Or a rapist condemns rapists, but he’s not a hypocrite because he’s compelled to rape. Conservatism at its finest.

And maybe I missed it, but I didn’t hear Buchanan forgive all the other gay people out there, apparently compelled to live gay life styles without benefit of being a United States Senator with great power over people’s lives. Apparently a ‘sick’ Senator is supposed to get more slack and more perks than common, ordinary, voting ‘sick’ folk.

Of course if Craig had been a Democrat, we would have seen saliva drooling down Buchanan’s chin as he lit into him and accused him of willfully destroying what’s left of Western Civilization. We would have heard Patty booming “Compulsion and disease is no excuse for depraved and disgusting behavior. This sick Democrat should be hurled from the Senate forthwith and locked up where he can no longer visit his sickness on society.”