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Thank you for posting your thoughts. It seems you are trying to reason through some issues. The two questions you present coexist and are not separate entities. To have control over others, one must have control over their self first. I hope you understand the fundamental truth to this.

No matter what you have going on in your like, part of aikido training is to develop the state of "no mind". We could philophosize various aspects of what makes a thing true or false but when it comes down to any situation, all that matters is what state of mind you are in and how you react. The mind/spirit will never be in the same position at any given moment and therefore a trasition is made e.g. one goes from alert mode to attack mode.

I must say the intent of this article is still ambiguous to me and this is the best I can respond to it. I hope it helps.