What Filipinos need to be told about life away from the Philippines

There’s nothing more pathetic than a voluntary immigrant constantly pining about her emotional attachment to her homeland. Yeah, I’m talking about you Shakira Sison and the emotional diarrhoea that is your Rappler article, What they don’t tell you when you leave the Philippines. If you are going to spend an entire lifetime suffering from acute separation anxiety from your homeland, you just open yourself to that simple but confronting question: Why don’t you just go HOME?

Filipino immigrants who only see their host countries as a place where stuff works are the worst sorts of resident aliens. They remain fixated on the society they left behind and their never-ending buntong hiningas (melancholic sighs) about the quaint experiences of life in the Philippines — consisting mainly of romanticised memories of the wretchedness of life there — that they “miss” betray a failure to fully embrace and appreciate the deeper substance in and of the societies that so graciously host their foreign residents.

America, for example, is not just a place where nice cars, nice houses, and nice clothes could be bought. It is not just a place where most public spaces are clean, orderly, and safe and where things work efficiently. A person who habitually takes stock of all that superficial stuff then uses it as a backdrop for lyrical numbers on the social and cultural nuances that made growing up in the Philippines so memorable is cheating herself out of a life of possibilities in their adopted homeland.

All possibilities lie in the future. Your future includes, as a significant part of it, the place and environment where it will unfold. To regard the place and society that will host your future as no more than a collection of conveniences is setting one’s self up for a future of mere compromise. It is understandable for immigrants in the first couple of months living in, say, America to regard their situation as a compromise. But one would reasonably expect some effort to evolve. Those who do not evolve choose to live out their lives in their new country as a sad living with that compromise.

What a sad lot.

Life, like any journey, is about consuming the experience of living it as it unfolds. We acquire new experiences that shape our character as we go through life. Our characters today were shaped by these past experiences and future experiences will continue to shape us. Thus, the fear that Filipino immigrants who embrace the society and culture of their adopted homelands will “lose” something — their home, their cultural roots, even their very identity — is unfounded. Nothing is ever lost when one acquires new experiences. On the contrary, there is always something to gain from new experiences.

More importantly, it is worth emphasising that there is even more to be gained by facing new challenges. Sometimes the future you face takes you away from your comfort zone (such as the smells, sounds, faces, voices, and tastes you are familiar with). Those are the best types of challenges. An ability to face those kinds of challenges with grace is what separates the men from the boys — the whiners from the courageous explorers.

So then it’s simple, really: Immigrant Filipinos should fear not. Your identity is defined by what you achieve — by how you use the experiences you gain in the course of stepping up to the challenges you encounter along the way. Your identity is NOT defined by “how much” or “how less” of a “Filipino” you are on the basis of someone’s presumptuous assessment of much or how little of the society that hosts you you’ve embraced and soaked up.

For that matter, nobody — NOBODY — is given the authority to judge how “Filipino” (or not “Filipino”) anyone is.

NOBODY has the authority to judge how a Filipino anyone is..Is exactly right . The one who judge is only himself. And Benignoo. By what I experienced and see here in America is, immigrant Filipinos are not happy alone as long as he or she has family left behind in the Philippines. They whined and yell because they missed their family NOT THE PHILIPPINES…That’s why every Filipino immigrant in America , they, life long goal is to bring everybody in here…once in a while they will missed the country of birth if something remind them of pictures or image of… Read more »

There are two kinds of people. One kind, you can just tell by looking at them at what point they congealed into their final selves. It might be a very nice self, but you know you can expect no more surprises from it. Whereas, the other kind keep moving, changing… They are fluid. They keep moving forward and making new trysts with life, and the motion of it keeps them young. In my opinion, they are the only people who are still alive. You must be constantly on your guard against congealing.

Part of an administration-paid effort to demonize OFWs, since the careless liar of a president said Filipinos went abroad just because they want to, not because they have to? But what does he know anyway?

“Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinangalingan, ay hindi makarating sa paroroonan…” my late mother used to tell me. It is hard to leave your country. Friends, family members, relatives, acquaintances. However, like cows, we have to go in search for “greener pastures”… Thanks God, I applied to a good university, and was accepted. I was just looking, to further my technical knowledge. This lead to working part time ; and studying at the same time. More studies, more hard work, more sacrifices (true sacrifice, not the “political sacrifice” ,that Aquino, Roxas & the LP (“Libog Party”) , are talking about.… Read more »

A thing to remember is that the prime reason Filipino ofws miss the motherland because of the good memories they have there. Not the reality of it. In fact, most ofws who return there immediately miss the country they stayed at because things work there. And Even the countries that are war zones, they will miss the fact that they had money and a job.

That my friends are the real problems in the Philippines . LACK of GOOD OF GOOD PAYING JOBS.. all this politicians are promising you everything except talking about how they going to attract jobs to the country????This GRP blogs site should be focusing on that jobs creation put pressure to this government and politician . Coz with out jobs and money for the people ,,, education or whatever nonsense subject you bringing up here is not helping a bit.. My own personal opinion.. I care for the Filipinos .

Now now you guys are talking with sense and very important purpose,,, do not tell that to each other ,,, yell that to the damned politicians and the upcoming politicians who wants to be president , isak sak ninyo yan sa mga utak nila,,, if they don’t do something about creating jobs in the Philippines ,,, all hell will break lose I guarantee that..

R VANDROSS “I’d rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else I’d rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself I’d rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart I’d rather have the one who holds my heart ” I spent 3yrs in Malaysia and 5yrs in Japan (every 6 month 1week home visit). But I still choose to stay for my loveones – family anf friends. 1. I can’t bring all my family – parents, friends, places, foods, drinks and people I like. 2. Discrimination and 2nd/3rd… Read more »

Good article, Benigno. >> One would reasonably expect some effort to evolve. Those who do not evolve choose to live out their lives in their new country as a sad living with that compromise. That right there sums up the whining article in the link (“What they don’t tell you when you leave the Philippines”), which I’d like to rip into: >> Nobody tells you that you’ll miss the noises of home – the blaring of jeepney horns, the takatak of the cigarette vendors selling Winstons by the stick. I’ve often wondered if Filipinos make such a godawful noise because… Read more »

Simply put, the Rappler article confirms what I said in my earlier article. That some Filipinos’ minds are addled and they have made dysfunction a part of their Filipino identity. That article says, if you don’t long for the dysfunction of Manila, the poverty, pollution, traffic and all, you’re a traitor. And what a sad sight to see someone consider efficiency as something bad. Basically, what the Rappler writer did was to make the good look bad, and the bad look good. Same old tactic of twisting morality and values.

Sison is right about all the issues she wrote about in her article. I am living in Europe for over 40 years and it is like she has described ; without a proper education recognized by the western countries and you come to the west without it, you are nothing more than a finacial and economic burden to the westerners. You can assimilate and intergrate as much as you want, you will never be fully accepted. And folks stop praising the West as being a paradise; in fact it is real hell. Stop degrading your own country and origin as… Read more »