Leo D gets the O

And it's about goddamn time.

When I was watching Titanic for the first time when I was like six or seven with my mom, I cried because that dumbass Rose didn’t actually love you enough to scoot the fuck over. Everyone else and their Mom (like, literally) would jump into the deathly freezing water because why the fuck wouldn’t you? The character Jack Dawson was too good for that alternate universe.

I mean, I knew you were really alive, but I was so moved by your performance that you became Jack Dawson in my mind for a few years until I saw the next film that you were in (that I had access to), Catch Me If you Can. “Oh my gawd, he’s so charming,” I thought in my stupid 13-year-old brain, “I’d toooootally marry him. I probably have a chance after puberty … Yeah, definitely.” After puberty it changed to, “I’d toooootally tap that,” because it was like 2004 and that’s how we talked then, “but liiiike circa 1999.” Then a few years later, I realized you are perfect and age like cheese and I would do whatever you want.

Like, you wanna go get ice cream? Sure. Want me to read King Lear to you? Of course. Teach you how to play the viola? I’ll try, honey-buns. Lock you up in chains and run a sander over them honey buns? W h a t e v e r y o u w a n t.

When you won at the Golden Globes for Best Actor and “shared” it with all the first nations people and indigenous people all over the world? Be still my beating (and bleeding) social justice heart. And now you’re using your win as a platform to address climate change??? You ANGEL. I just checked your Facebook page and you posted about the Peruvian Amazon Rainforest oil spill (which has barely been covered by most mainstream media sources). I think I’m dead. I died. Goodbye. (jk, calm down.)“His Smile was one of those rare smiles that you may come across four or five times in life. It seemed to understand you and believe in you just as you would love to be understood and believed in.”