* "We get a lot of drug dealers who try to buy iPhones with fake IDs. You can tell them instantly just by how shady they act, and they know you know, but you obviously can't start accusing them of being drug dealers—they are customers, after all."

* "A lot of homeless people come in and do live webcasts. Those are fine. Then we have some really scary homeless people who come in and listen to death metal really loudly on the Bose speakers. ... Not many people use the computers to access porn, but a lot of people change the languages on them. And it isn't easy for us to figure out how to switch it back from Korean or Russian!"

* "We aren't paid on commission, but you fear for your job if you're not selling enough. We're supposed to sell AppleCare product support with just about everything, and honestly, those aren't that hard to sell, since they aren't a bad deal. But we're also supposed to push MobileMe, and that's really hard to sell. Nobody ever sells it."