This is strange. Apple's CEO Tim Cook and Apple's CFO Peter Oppenheimer will host a special conference tomorrow. The topic: "the outcome of the Company's discussions concerning its cash balance." That's $100,000 million in cash, people. They can buy bloody Walmart.

They say they "will not be providing an update on the current quarter nor will any topics be discussed other than cash." So what would they be announcing? What could Apple do with all that money? Perhaps some acquisition? New investments? Buy every single phone manufacturer in the planet? (They can!) Or maybe something as mundane as giving some dividends to the shareholders? Or perhaps a fund to help poor people with Android phones?