* Romney says this election is about jobs, though, and not which presidential candidate may or may not be tempted to eat fluffy little puppies. In fact, what is the worse label for Obama: dog-eater or guy responsible for the current state of the economy?

Some of the Obama-bots are still trying to rescue the dog issue for Obama as they would much rather fight on that field than the more substantial issues where Obama has failed immensely. I even had a number of people on Twitter try to insist that what Romney did was super serious but what Obama did isnt important. To which the proper response is OBAMA ATE A DOG!!! If the Dems want silly side-issues, the dog-eating president is going to star.

* Millionaire Obama is trying to strike against Romneys wealth saying, I wasnt born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Okay, whats less relatable to: guy with silver spoon in mouth or guy with dog in his mouth?

And is Obama claiming he can relate to the common man because he built himself up with such normal blue collar jobs as community organizer and memoir writer? Hes just a normal guy like you who eats dog, hangs out with domestic terrorists, and goes to a crazy racist preacher ranting about the CIA creating AIDS. And he ate a dog. Did I already mention that?

* Id like to thank the GSA for demonstrating government spending in such a clear way. Its nice to know what the money would go to if we raised taxes on the rich. See, the choice is never do we want the rich or the poor to have the money, its whether we want people who are responsible with their money to keep it or whether that should instead be taken and given to people who are extremely irresponsible with money. If you choose the later, please punch yourself until you understand the error of your ways.

* The Secret Service are meeting with Ted Nugent. And theyre going to do it in Colombia. Its going to be a crazy party.

* Young people are apparently not excited about Obama or Romney this election year. Thats cool; we really need to start teaching people at a young age to despise all politicians.

* Acura is in trouble for having a casting call for one of their ads where they wanted an African-American who wasnt too dark. The funny thing is, they could have just put out a casting call for a white guy and not gotten into any trouble. Acting is that last place where blatant racial discrimination is tolerated. I guess racism is okay if its for art.

President Obama is gearing up for his presidential campaign. He's creating a new series of ads. The first ad boasts "just last week my Secret Service created jobs for 11 Colombian women.

The Secret Service prostitution scandal has gotten worse because apparently agents were also snorting cocaine. However, in the agents' defense, the Colombian hotels offer cocaine in the mini bar.

Conservatives are now criticizing President Obama because as a child in Indonesia he sometimes ate dog meat. But on the plus side, Obama is now polling very well among cats.

The Megamillions story is getting interested. The married couple in their 60s who won the Megamillions lottery says they giggled about it for hours, and by giggle they mean nervously plotted to murder each other. President Obama talked about the Secret Service prostitution scandal, saying hes reserving judgment until all the facts are in, or at least until he figures out a way to blame this on Mitt Romney.

Obama ate a dog...

Obama said people talk to him like hes a dog. Well, you are what you eat.

Maybe Im overreacting, but Im pretty afraid of what will happen when Obama meets with my representative Raul Labrador.

You can disagree with Romneys transportation method, but his dog always arrived at the destination alive and uneaten.

Quiet! Youre all making baby Obama cry!

Obama was surprised when he went to see The Hunger Games and it wasnt about dog racing.

10 Ways That Obama Has Brought Us Out of the Dark and Into the Light

[Michelle] Obama closed by asking the audience three times, Are you in?

Because I am so in, she said over the applause. We have an amazing story to tell. This president has brought us out of the dark and into the light.

Now generally thats a metaphor for something GOOD happening to you, but given Baracks unmitigated record of disaster, it cant possibly be true in this case. So maybe she meant it like: ______________

1) The obvious death-metaphor of walking toward the light.

2) Train tunnel. Train coming. Obama likes trains.

3) Sunny, breezy, summer day. The roof of your house blows off.

4) Meditating with a single candle. Your curtains catch on fire.

5) Sleeping peacefully at 3am, the EPA exercises a no-knock warrant by throwing a flash-grenade through your window to remind you to use compact fluorescent bulbs.

6) Youre an old-school vampire and your names not Blade.

7) You develop your own film? Cool! Lets have a look at whats soaking in the tray! [click]

8) Out parking with your best girl and Officer McNosy puts 1500 lumens into your eyes.

You're the life of the party, a total flirt, and probably a pretty big jokester. Sometimes your behavior gets you in trouble, but you still remain socially acceptable. You're a pretty bad driver, and you're dancing could also use a little work!

At your best: You are uninhibited, funny, and relaxed.

What people like about being around you: You're friendly, welcoming, and easy to talk to.

What people dislike about being around you: You're a little sloppy and careless.

How addicted people get to you: A fair amount, though they tend to deny it.

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of
me Life, between the legs of me wife !”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best
toast of the night.”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the
other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “Aye, he told me and I was a bit surprised myself...
You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years.
“Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.

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