Jamie Jason

It felt like there were Real Housewives meetups happening all over the country this week. Or at least that’s what it seemed like when I scroll through my Instagram feed. Kandi Burruss supported Beverly Hills Housewife Erika Jayne at her Atlanta concert. Potomac Housewives Gizelle Bryant hung out with Real Housewives of Atlanta OG NeNe Leakes. Warning: they applied way too much airbrush to their IG photo. Cynthia Bailey left the ATL to hang out with Dorinda Medley in New York City.

Real Housewives of Dallas stars Stephanie Hollman and Brandi Redmond shared photos hanging with their kids. Meanwhile, their costar Cary Deuber shared a photo of her face all marked up and ready for a cosmetic procedure. Orange County Housewife Shannon Beadorfollowed her lead. Shannon posted a photo of herself getting some cosmetic enhancements. This is a social media trend that I just don’t understand.

Opposites attract, right? Chandler Brooks is dating Jamie Jason. Yes, that’s right. The most polarizing cast member on Below Deckthis season is in a relationship with the least confrontational character from Below Deck Mediterraneanlast season. She didn’t have one storyline last season other than getting a cold and missing some shifts to rest. In contrast, Chandler is bothering everyone on Below Deck.

Other than the obvious Bravolebrity connection and their experiences on luxury yachts, this just seems like something out of left field. However, Jamie has been dropping plenty of hints about the relationship.

Why is it never recorded when Housewives from different shows hang out? The cast crossover would make for such a great show. No, I do not think there are “too many” Real Housewives shows. I would never ever think that. The more Housewives, the better.

Even though my ideal spin-off show does not exist, the Housewives do take lots of photos and videos when they get together. It is almost like we are watching an all stars edition of Real Housewives. No need to look through everyone’s accounts though. All the photos are in this week’s Instagram Roundup.

The set of these WWHL Reunions is so depressing, isn’t it. Like getting married in a Vegas chapel with a liquor store next door. It just doesn’t translate to ‘daytime’ activities. Who wants to bear their soul in front of a rhinestone Snoopy or a photo of Ramona Singer doing Turtle Time in a satin dress? I guess Joao’s nervous breakdowns don’t discriminate?

Tonight we say farewell to our favorite yacht crew as another season comes to a close. The Below Deck Mediterranean reunion is tonight and we can’t wait to rehash the drama and love triangles of the season!

In the preview clips released, Captain Sandy Yawn gets candid with Conrad Empson, scolding him for his many, many cigarette breaks and his preoccupation with Hannah Ferrier. She even lets him know that she doesn’t see him making it in this line of work. Ouch!

It was the last charter and the season finale episode of Below Deck Mediterranean. I’m pooped of writing about the poop deck dramas of the Motor Yacht Talisman (I am also not too mature for poop jokes!). Everyone is moving on from the pettiness, squabbles, and bad vibes expect for Hannah Ferrier, who is just as ready as ever to make people’s lives miserable. Conrad Empson sure rues the day he ever got clobbered by a cougar!

The finale episode was truly all about playing games with Hannah. From musical chairs, to hide and seek, and finally battleship. The most shocking development though was realizing that Conrad and Hannah had never had sex! Do we believe them? It’s kind of cutely high school…

Anyway, we gotta also talk about Joao Franco admitting to Kasey Cohen that if she’d been the one sitting next to him during Hannah’s birthday, she’d also be the one he’d currently be screwing over instead of Brooke Laughton. Now Joao understands it was fate’s way of looking out for him. Joao mansplains, “When I kissed Brooke it all made sense…,” but I don’t want to talk to another girl too long, because it might stop making sense in my penile brain, then I might convenience kiss somebody else. Someone else like Kasey. This logic is like watching The Notebook in lieu of getting counseling for co-dependency, and then, even worse, believing this is how mature relationships work. And I am mature, so I should know!