Do You Miss Him or The Relationship?

Whether you end things or he does, break-ups are hard. There’s a reason they’re quickly followed by carb loading (cookies and/or pints of beer) and making out with a rando against a wall. But relationships end for a reason; it’s just too bad that many of us are completely unable to remember the reason when we’re elbow deep in Oreos and crying at the latest Zales commercial.

Why do we always have such a hard time letting go?
Do we actually miss the guy, or do we just miss being in a relationship?

College relationships bring comfort and ease during a time in our lives that is filled with uncertainty. We’re unsure about our future, our jobs, our grades, our finances, and are generally stressed out. We look at our guys as the one thing we can count on always; to support us, to love us, to cuddle with us after a long day of class and studying. Not to mention that being single is exhausting! I’ve had one too many nights of getting dressed up in hopes of finding a cutie to take home, only to end the night crying and carrying a pizza.

But the majority of us college girls will inevitably endure a break-up within these four years. Sad but true. Breaking up is a major change and it’s scary! It means saying goodbye to those sweet good morning texts, romantic dinner dates, and guaranteed booty (what? it’s usually the thing I miss most!), and hello to a completely new life. We feel vulnerable and lonely and ready to run right back to our ex before we even have a chance to sleep alone. The same ex who wasn’t giving us what we needed or deserved.

How do we move on?
Simple: we have to figure out what we really miss. Is it the boyfriend or is it a boyfriend?

And most of the time it’s the latter.

Face it: You don’t want him, you want it and you can find it with someone else. Someone who is way better at it.

Being newly single isn’t easy, but going back to a bad relationship isn’t the answer. Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zones to find what truly makes us happy. It’s like getting ready to go out; taking off those sweats and squeezing into a pair of skinny jeans takes some work (and a few lunges), but just think about how much better you feel once you’ve changed.

There is a difference between comfort and love and when you finally wake up and distinguish between the two, you’ll find what you’re really looking for.

What do you guys think? After a breakup do you really miss the guy, or the comfort of the relationship?