Signs the White House Clearly Needs to Hire A Proofreader

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Donald Trump might go through advisors like a puppy goes through its chew toys, but somehow none of them can handle the small task of proofreading. As a member of the generation that grew up on spell check, I can’t spell to save my life. But I have an app for that. And a Chrome extension. And enough respect for the English language to Google any word that I’m unsure of. Besides, as a writer, the whole proofreading thing is kind of part of the gig. If only the writers over at the White House felt the same way! From emails and Twitter updates to official documents, here are just a few signs that the White House needs to hire a proofreader. Desperately.

Apparently Barbara Bush Went Back In Time To Die

When former First Lady Barbara Bush passed away several months ago, the statement released from the White House didn’t exactly do her justice. Unless, of course, she went back in time to die peacefully in 2017 when the world was slightly less screwed up. If only they had run the document by a proofreader, who likely would have caught the fact that the current year is actually 2018. No wonder Barbara didn’t want Trump at her funeral.

An Executive Order Isn’t Important Anyway

The most recent blunder to come out of the White House has been making its rounds in the media, and it’s pretty bad. In the title of an executive order, which is a document straight from the president designed to manage the federal government, the word “separation” was misspelled. It was literally one of the biggest words on the page, and no one caught it. If this isn’t a sign that a proofreader is necessary, then I don’t know what is.

An Official List Of Unreported Terrorist “Attakers”

In an official list released by the White House, a few dozen unreported terrorist attacks were mentioned. Not only was the word attacker spelled wrong, but it was spelled wrong twenty-three times in a row. Additionally, one of the cities on the list was also spelled wrong, and it was later proven that some of the information provided was incorrect. At least one of the mentioned “unreported” terrorist attacks was in fact reported. If only there were people whose job it was to avoid these sort of embarrassing mistakes!

We All Want Lasting “Peach”

When it comes to the United States government, press releases are just about as important as executive orders, so it would make sense that a typo would appear in this document. The press release explained what Trump’s goals were while abroad in Israel, and it would appear that he aimed to “promote the possibility of lasting peach” between Israelis and Palestinians. And that’s not the only error in the document. Does the White House not have enough money for computers? Are they typing these up on some kind of ancient typewriter? Maybe they don’t need a proofreader so much as they need an IT pro to come in and show them how to run an update on their word processing program.

Trump Can’t Even Make Demands Right

Hear by? No, sorry Trump, it’s hereby. And since when can the president of the United States make official demands on Twitter? Using hereby (or “hear by”) might make this statement sound more legitimate, but it’s hardly the platform POTUS should be using to make such a declaration. Especially if he isn’t going to spell it right. Perhaps “hear by” is part of some kind of spell he’s putting on us to keep paying attention to the nonsense he has to say. Let me try it. I hear by demand that Trump jumps off a cliff.

An Awkward Introduction

In another official White House document, Trump’s lawyer Marc Kasowitz made a fool of himself by introducing himself with an unfortunate typo. Of all the words to misspell in this letter, “Predisent” has got to be the most embarrassing. Aside from that horrendous error, a proofreader would have been able to catch the sudden change of font and awkward spacing between sentences. At least Kasowitz and Trump have something in common, a unique way of leaving a lasting impression.

A Divided Country Will “Heel”

Our president doesn’t even know the difference between heal and heel. Think about that for a second. It’s not even a commonly confused homophone like “their” and “there” or “your” and “you’re.” This is just one of the many reasons why the White House needs to hire a proofreader. Perhaps other countries would respect our government a bit more if they actually took the time to look over the things they write before publishing them. Even Trump’s tweets should be reviewed, especially when they’re being written in the middle of the night.

It Started Before Trump Took Over The Country

Before Trump had even moved into the White House, a period in time that will likely be referred to as The Golden Age in the history books, he and his team still couldn’t put a sentence together. This is Trump’s official inauguration portrait with that incredibly obvious grammatical error smack dab in the middle of the page. If you didn’t catch it, the second half of the first sentence should read, “…no challenge is too great.” Perhaps this poster was made during a time when the creator thought it would never be used. To their surprise and ours, it was.

Make “American” Great Again

Obviously, Trump’s team is quite useless in regards to proofreading the content they release both online and internally. Even on Trump’s own website, his presidential slogan was wrong in the title. Likely the article was written by an intern or someone pretty low on the totem pole, so why not hire someone to take on the role of editor or proofreader? It would appear that White House employees aren’t being paid enough to put that kind of effort into their work though. Perhaps we should pay them more out of our pockets. Giving them a bit extra of our hard-earned money just might encourage them to get a handle on these simple tasks.

Her work has been published in The Southampton Review, The Conium Review, The Richest, The Independent, CINEMABLEND, and more. Author of the popular feminist blog series "Writings of the Satirical Feminista," Rose is currently focusing on a collection of humorous personal essays while she travels the world.

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