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The definition of labour is; “work, especially physical work” (dictionary.com). Labour in childbirth is certainly a physical workout but it needs a much broader description. These are the words l would add to the description of labour: ‘painful, excruciating, intense, amazing, life changing, anxiety provoking, awkward’ and I’m sure there are many more we could add.

Questions about the impending labour need to be asked to decrease our fear and allay our anxieties. The more prepared we are, the more we are able to deal with the event itself as we feel more confident and empowered. I always remember and tell pregnant women;

KNOWLEDGE = POWER

Pregnancy is a time of excitement, fear, anxiety, happiness and l bet you could name a lot more as stated above in my definition. I think l have experienced every emotion known to man during my labours. Labouring women that l have cared for experience similar and different emotions depending on their circumstances but all concur that it’s one hell of a rollercoaster ride. You can compare labour to parenting except it’s at time warp speed instead of spread over the rest of your life. Everyone’s experience of pregnancy is different and unique.

As a Midwife and Child and Family Health Nurse, advocating for self-care is one of my top priorities when working with parents. As a matter of fact, I’m am a great advocate of self-care also to my friends and family. I know how it can make a difference to your mood, relationships, health and wellbeing. It then filters down to the children and has an amazing positive impact on their health and development.

Self-care = happiness = good health

It makes sense that if you do things you enjoy, you feel happier. If you are happier, then the people around you are happier, less stressed and healthier as time goes on. Life progresses in a positive direction (although we know its like a rollercoaster ride). The more we care for ourselves, the easier it is to deal with the difficult times.

Breastfeeding is best for you and your baby. We know that. There is no denying the amazing benefits. There are also circumstances when it’s not possible or women choose to formula feed for their own reasons. If you have chosen to breastfeed, there are a number of things to remember when you first have your baby that will help you on the road to success.

The most important advice l can give you is that it gets easier and you need sheer willpower and determination especially if you have some difficulties. If you have a premature baby and have to express or you are struggling with attaching your baby, you can do it I promise you. If you decide to stop, remember you have done the best you can.

I do advise that if you have any medical conditions that may affect breastfeeding such as polycystic ovarian syndrome, that you seek medical advice. This will better prepare you for the circumstances that may evolve such as the possibility of low milk supply.

The word sook is an interesting one. It is used at times when a child is upset in countries such as Australia and New Zealand. We hear it in different ways but some common ones are:

‘Don’t be a sook’

‘You’re a sooky la la’

’If you sook, you won’t be able to …. ‘

’Stop sooking’

What does this word really mean? A similar word you may also hear is ‘crybaby’, We often think of these types of words as harmless. The definition of ‘sook’ as defined by dictionary.com, is “a timid, cowardly person, especially a young child; crybaby”. Timid? Cowardly? Are these words we can use to actually describe a young child?

Let’s break it down. Timid is defined as “showing a lack of courage or confidence; easily frightened” (dictionary.com). Are children meant to be courageous? Are they meant to be confident in what they do? They are kids! They are learning about the world… they need love and guidance. We are their teachers! Of course, they are frightened more often than adults because the world can be scary place to a little person.

How exciting! You are having a baby! There is so much to think about and plan. It can be very overwhelming. I’m going to make packing your hospital bag simple and easy. With over 20 years’ experience as a midwife and a mother to two kids, l think l may finally have it right.

So, you are getting along in your pregnancy, your preparing for the arrival of your precious baby and wondering what you will need to take to hospital. Well read on. I’m excited for you too! Packing your hospital bag makes it real! I’m going to help you make your list.

The hospital you will be birthing at will often tell you or give you written information during your pregnancy on what they supply and what you need to bring during your stay but it is usually basic.

I’m very proud to be a mother. Even though parenting is hard work and l feel like a failure at times, l try to tell myself multiple times a day that I’m doing a good job. I’m proud of that even though sometimes I’m a bit harsh on myself, but l try and remember that I’m so lucky to have two beautiful children. It depends on the day, time, mood, place, children, season…. to how l manage these thoughts. One minute you think you are the world’s best mother and the next you are thinking, ‘how could l have done that?’

It is amazing how work, life, balance and parenting can even fit in the one sentence. It’s like trying to fit a Great Dane through a doggy door meant for a Chihuahua. Every parent’s journey is different but from my experience many who are working struggle to get some good balance in their lives.

Mummy guilt…. We have all been there in some way or another. For some mothers, the wearing down guilty feeling is a constant presence. It’s like a dirty stain that you can’t get out in the wash. For others, it may just pop up occasionally on its own or may be triggered by an event or emotion. It’s a terrible feeling when you are thinking you might be screwing up your kids. It can be a massive burden which can take a toll on your mental health and set you on a downward spiral.

I am experiencing mummy guilt right now. I’m writing this post while my kids are playing with each other and I’m thinking, ‘should l be spending my time with them? Does this make me a terrible mother?’ Self-doubt is toxic. It creeps up on you like a mosquito in the bedroom when you are asleep. You just want to squash it but no matter how hard you try in the dark, you just can’t do it!

Never in my wildest dreams did l think that my journey to motherhood was going to look like this. Saying to self ‘but you are a midwife and child and family health nurse’ (again). I can tell you it’s a lot different when you are the mother and they are your children. Of course the knowledge and experience has helped in a lot of ways but at times l know l set my expectations really high. Being a professional in the industry does not make me immune from the mummy guilt, self-doubt and fear of not being a good mum.