Archives for: October 2004

Last night Gordon took me to the restaurant where we had our first date and got down on his knees and asked me to marry him. He was so nervous he was talking really fast! I said yes (of course!) and he gave me a stunningly beautiful ring. It's a radiant cut diamond with a tapered baguette on either side, set in platinum. It's gorgeous - and really sparkly!

So we've both been floating ever since last night. He said that he'd wanted to wait until between dinner and dessert to ask me, but that he just couldn't wait! We hadn't even ordered our dinner yet when he asked, and then I was so excited I couldn't eat much of anything - and I'd ordered rack of lamb, so you know I was excited if I couldn't eat THAT! I took a couple of bites of my dinner and realized I wasn't tasting anything, so I just stopped eating (and spent a lot of the time staring either at Gordon's eyes or at my ring). We did toast with champagne, and even got dessert, too. Then I only had one bite.

So the wedding will likely be in May of next year, and we're both just SOOOOOOO thrilled to have found each other!

We're heading down to San Diego tonight for the night partly so that Gordon can meet my uncle and a friend of mine who live down there, and partly so we can go to the chapel I used to go to down there so we can see if we might want to get married there. I need to get going and throw some clothes in a bag!

Went to singing class last night, and for the first time ever I had FUN singing in front of people. It was a huge breakthrough, and it felt GREAT. So progress is being made!

Class went late again, so I didn't get home until midnight, and then had to shower and get ready for bed. Since I was so wired, it took me a while to wind down, and it was about 1:30 by the time I got to sleep.

Acting class tonight, and then home to bed. It will be another late night (she never ends on time), and then home to sleep. I've got a bit of a sore throat this afternoon, too, which isn't good. I've been eating as I should, and have even gotten rid of 4 or 5 of the pounds that I'd gained. Lots of salads and protein, and it feels good. I'm researching gyms between home and the office that are convenient for both Gordon and me to get to. So far it's not looking good, but I still have to explore a few more possibilities.

Tomorrow is a Halloween party at work, and we're encouraged to dress up. I don't have any costumes and no time to buy or make one, so I won't be dressing up. I already made wheat-free brownies so that I'll have dessert to snack on without feeling deprived, and it sounds like there will be enough 'real' food to eat that I should be fine otherwise.

I'm going to dash home on my way to class tonight and grab some GSE and whatever else I can scrounge up to help me fight this sore throat. I refuse to get sick! I have too much to do - Gordon and I have a date tomorrow night, and then Saturday we're heading down to San Diego for the night to meet one of my uncles and a dear friend of mine, and also to go to a chapel that I used to attend down there. I love this little place, and I would like to get married there if Gordon likes the location and the chapel. We'll see!

I'm feeling much better so far this week. My back isn't wigging out like it was, and my body seems to have gotten over whatever its problems were. I'm trying to make sure that I drink enough water, too, which I'm usually pretty good at, but seem to have forgotten lately.

I was so tired last night that I cancelled my plans with Anne and ran one quick errand and then headed home for the night. Had some roasted chicken and salad for dinner last night, and have been MUCH better about eating more appropriately sized meals. And I bought some healthier snacks for work - still a bit sugary, but less pure sugar and more protein and fruit sugar based. Almonds and fruit-sweetened wheat-free cookies and O-friendly granola bars. I should also bring in a stash of fruit-juice and Gerolsteiner so that I don't feel inclined to grab a Coke!

So Gordon and I had dinner last night, watched a little TV, and I went upstairs about 8pm and took a shower and relaxed. Did a little straightening up and organizing in my closet, and was in bed by 10pm, and turned out the lights about 10:30. Remarkable how awake I felt when I woke up this morning! I was out COLD, too, and never heard Gordon come to bed. I'm going to go to bed early every night that I don't have class whenever possible. It makes such a difference!

I did finally meet our company Saturday morning. The couple is terrific, and Gordon's friend has a very odd and dry sense of humor. We had a great time and went out to breakfast with them both Saturday and Sunday morning. Their baby is six months old, and I never heard him cry except for a few minutes Saturday afternoon, and both of us had a ball playing with him and entertaining him.

After breakfast on Saturday we headed to The Container Store in Pasadena to buy some shelving for our bedroom - I have TONS of books (20+ boxes) and had no place to put 18 boxes worth. This won't completely solve the problem, but at least it will empty out the garage. The rest of the books I can stash in the closet somewhere. After that, we went to the theatre in Orange County where Gordon was working on a show. He worked, and I enjoyed the performance.

On Sunday my future mother-in-law and I went to a Bridal Expo over at the Hilton in Universal City. Neither of us was very impressed with most of the expo, but we did meet one wedding planner who seemed very good, and we both liked her. I haven't given much thought to having a wedding planner, but my future MIL and I are considering it now. We also got a large stack of information about everything wedding related. We sat in the bar at the hotel and had a little something to drink and then headed over to Ann Taylor Loft, where I bought some clothes for work.

I'm so blessed to have met Gordon and that his family is as delightful as they are - his mother and sisters are all terrific, and they have embraced me with open arms. Gordon jokes that they are just thrilled that he's FINALLY getting married, but he also says that they really do like me, which always helps!

After I dropped off Gordon's mom, I went home and put together the shelving for the bedroom. Gordon got home and helped me finish it, and it looks great. I still don't have any books on it, but it looks great!

Tonight I hope to put books on the shelving, prepare some lunches and dinners for myself for the rest of the week, and get to bed early again!

I started a new job last week, and have had something going on every night and day since then. Whew! And it will be at least two more weeks before I have a bit of a break. I'm taking a singing class, and it is occupying lots of my time these days, as is continuing to settle into life with Gordon, plus acting class, time with Anne, and now this job.

To top it all off, we have company this weekend, and Gordon is gone most of the weekend working sound on a show. These are friends of his, and they arrived last night and were asleep by the time I got home. So I have had three people staying in my home for the last 24 hours and I still haven't met them. They are still out tonight, too. Kinda weird!

My body has been doing strange things - I've been eating out lots, eating more than usual, gaining weight, feeling crabby and experiencing lots of PMS symptoms. I've been having lots of headaches, too, from going non-stop for weeks on end without enough sleep. I'm being mostly compliant on the BTD, but I think my body is going through lots of changes right now. New home, new job, a still new relationship, etc. It takes some time to adjust psychologically and physically, and I suspect that my eating more (and eating way more sugar than usual) is part of what's going on.

Last Friday, Gordon sent a dozen red roses to my new office. They were beautiful! My boss joked that he was 'marking his territory', and when I told him that, he said that was exactly what he was doing! It was VERY funny.

I'm getting off the sugar and overeating slowly (now that I'm aware of it). I would go cold turkey, but I've learned that is a really easy way for me to get a migraine really quickly, so I'm being a little more patient this time.

We went to Gordon's 20th class reunion last night, and had a wonderful time. Every woman we talked with said that Gordon was always the sweetest guy. I already knew that, but it was nice to hear that they all thought he was a sweetie then, too. It was great to meet some old friends of his and for him to reconnect with several people, too.

The worst thing about the evening was the food. Roast beef, which would be great for most Os, but gives me a migraine, and then pasta with either marinara or alfredo sauce. And cheesecake for dessert. Ugh. I did eat some salad and pasta and cheesecake, and THEN someone said that there was chicken on the other side of the room, and Gordon told me to go eat some since I hadn't had any protein ALL DAY. I was full at that point, but knew he was right, too, so I went and got a few ounces of chicken and ate it. And of course, this morning I woke up feeling like the Michelin man - lots of bloating and puffiness from the dairy and wheat last night! Yuck!

Today I went shopping with Gordon's mother (my future mother-in-law!). It was the first time we'd gotten together without Gordon around, and we had a really good time. I wanted to look for suits for work, and we went to Loehman's and looked around for a while. I didn't find anything that I both loved AND that fit me correctly, but it was good to see what they had and spend some time with her. Then we went to lunch together, and chatted and talked about some wedding stuff and got to know each other a little better. I really like her, and she seems to really like me, so that helps!

Gordon's working sound on a show today, so I'm left to my own devices for the rest of the day. I plan to get to bed early so I'm well-rested for the workweek. I need to run a couple errands still, and then do laundry and get a few other things done around the house today. Gordon is working on this show for the next two weeks, and I'm in two classes this month, so we won't get to spend much time together for the next few weeks. In fact, we had to sit down with a calendar the other day to figure out when we'll next have an evening together! Guess this is what happens when two busy people combine their lives!

My new job starts Monday, so I'm trying to enjoy today to the fullest. Didn't start off too well, though. I couldn't sleep last night, and was up until almost 4am today. Lots going through my mind about the new job, anger about the situation with Mike, wedding stuff, acting stuff, family stuff, you name it. And it didn't help that I had acting class and it went an HOUR over the allotted time again. I'm going to have to leave at 11 from now on so I can get to work on time on Friday mornings.

I've eaten well this week, but have been eating too much sugar (all BTD okay stuff, technically, but still too much sugar!) and not getting enough exercise. Once I'm back at work and on a more regular schedule, I'll figure out a workout schedule and be back to my usual morning routines and dietary routines, too. I'm looking forward to it.

Today I'm off to have lunch with a studio executive friend of mine whose brain I intend to pick about how to proceed with my acting career from this point on. She's worked with some of the best, and I'm sure she'll be a wealth of information for me.

Later today I go back to the chiropractor - my back has been out for a few days, and though it keeps popping, if it's going back in, it isn't staying. I want a little tune-up before I start work on Monday.

I've been working with some temp agencies to help me find a decent job, and I've been requesting executive assistant positions. I got sent out on my first interview through them yesterday, and as I was going I told Gordon that I was NOT excited about the position. When I got there, the men I interviewed with turned me around completely! They were VERY nice, and the company seems like a nice place to work. Then they offered me the job on the spot, at a salary that is not unheard of, but quite good for an executive assistant. I was stunned, but pleased! I told them I would think about it and get back to them today. Gordon and I talked about it over dinner last night at PF Chang's, where I pretty much always get the wok-seared lamb, and Gordon gets some variety of chicken dish. My fortune cookie said: Your dreams will come true when you least expect it, and we laughed at the appropriateness of it.

It was a difficult decision, but it will allow us to do a few important things, like plan and pay for the wedding, not to mention adding to our savings. I had to wrestle with the acting issue, though, because this position will take away from my time available for auditions, possible rehearsals, etc.

But as Gordon said, nothing is forever, and I can leave at any time. And if we are smart and save and don't have a LAVISH wedding (simple and elegant is my idea, anyway) then maybe I can work for a year and then take a year off to pursue acting full-time. And I can certainly still work on getting a commercial agent and can go on the occasional audition and probably even be able to take a few days off here and there to work on something.

We went out for lunch today, too, to talk about it some more and reconsider the pros and cons after having slept on it, and it feels like the right decision. So I called the temp agency and told them I'd take it, and then called one of the men I'll be working for, and told him I'd take the job. Tomorrow I'll go down to the office to pick up some paperwork, and then I start on Monday.

So I'm gainfully employed again, and at a much more livable salary than I've been making. This is good.

The temp position ended up being for all of one day! The liked me though, and told my agency I did a great job, so that was good. Apparently the executive assistant I was filling in for had a death in the family and they just needed someone to fill in until he returned. Oh, well. I wish they'd been more forthright with the temp agency about that.

I have an interview later today with a real estate agency for an executive assistant position, so I'll be keeping my fingers crossed about that.

BTD-wise, I'm doing fine. No avoids have crossed my lips, but a bit of chocolate has in the last couple of days. Yum. I learned a lot last week though about portion control and how much (or how little) food really constitutes a serving. I'm being more mindful of that now and I like the way it feels.

Had dinner with Anne last night, and we had a great time, as usual. She has been going through a rough time lately - she and her boyfriend broke up the same week she had to put one of her cats down, and she's still reeling from all that.

We talked, too, about me trying on her wedding dress - we're very different body types and I have NO idea if it would even look good on me, but I thought it would be nice to try it and see. I told her I'd like to try it and she was very touched and even called her mother to tell her that I'd like to try it on! I'm looking forward to seeing it and trying it on.

Gotta go check out this company's website and do my homework for my interview later.

The 1200 calorie a day thing is over, thank goodness! I stuck with it to the end, but did add a bit of food each day. After a tremendous headache the second day into it, I felt justified. And even so, I lost about 3 pounds and 4 inches in a week, and really did work hard to do so. Now, to keep it up!

I'm still settling in with Gordon, and have yet to unpack about 20 boxes in the garage. It is all books and CDs, and we just have not found the right bookcase to fit in the space that we have in the bedroom, and we can't easily unpack them until we do.

It was a fairly quiet weekend at home, mostly. Friday night Gordon and I stayed home, made dinner, and caught up on some TV shows we both like. Yesterday we slept late, and I headed to my workout while he went to a networking brunch. Then we had a couple of hours before he headed off to work at the theatre (he helps out at a theatre part-time on various shows and events because he enjoys working with it). WE were both so tired, though, that we flopped onto the bed and watched more TV! He headed off to work, I caught up with a friend for coffee and some errands, and she and I hung out and had dinner and talked until about 10pm. I then showered, picked out my clothes for the shoot this morning, and got ready for bed.

This morning I got up early for the shoot, drove to the office in Beverly Hills, finished the shoot, and drove back within an hour and 15 minutes. It was the quickest, easiest shoot I've ever done, and I was back in bed by 9:30 in the morning. Then I woke Gordon up and we went out for brunch at The Cheesecake Factory. And I was NOT compliant! I had eggs benedict with smoked salmon, onion, tomato and, of course, the english muffin, egg, and hollandaise sauce. YUM. And I was so stuffed! I could only eat about half of it and sadly (and also a bit proudly) left the rest of it on my plate.

Gordon and I were still just wiped out when we got home, so instead of doing more unpacking or otherwise being productive, we decided to nap a bit before he had to go back to the theater. After he left, I got up and went to scope out JUST where my temp assignment is for the next two weeks, and also to the mall (conveniently next door to my assignment). I need a new suit, and did not find one, but did manage to find some great stuff for the fall and winter. Cashmere sweaters, long-sleeved cotton shirts, that kind of thing - good layering articles, and stuff I should be able to wear to the office (or wherever) for years. I tried on a number of great suits, too, but they weren't cut right for my body or they didn't have the right size, or it didn't do anything for me. The hunt is on!

Ran into Mike a couple weeks ago and he told me he can't be friends with me now that I'm with Gordon - apparently it's just too much for him. I was upset, but kind of saw it coming. Today I received an email from him - first communication since then. He found my blog and was unhappy with some of the things I'd said in it regarding him, even though I've told him these things in the past. I didn't even read the whole thing - I couldn't, and felt like he needed to vent. When I saw it I felt as though it was one of those letters that I often write and then never send. But he sent it. It was a LONG email, too, so I guess he had a lot to say! I'll probably read it when I feel better able to deal with it, but not today. I do hope he also saw in my blog not just my irritation with him, but also how important our friendship was to me, how much I care about him and how painful it was for me, too, to tell him that I'd met the man I'm going to marry knowing that I was risking losing someone else important to me.

I'm off to bed so I'll be fresh for my assignment tomorrow. Tomorrow evening is dinner with Anne, and we'll probably run a couple errands together during the evening, too. I need to pack my lunch for tomorrow and plan on a change of clothes for the evening, too, since I'll go to her place straight from work. I'm going to stay off the sugar as much as possible, too!