“Antinomy is a constant companion with me in life. Had I tried to say that because it seems impossible to understand beauty, especially in our current cultural environment, I can’t be an artist, it seemed to me entirely possible to also say, don’t be an artist then, just see if you can fall into beauty without realising it, and see if there are others who would like to fall into this with you. I don’t know if a portrait of my work-to-date would be possible if it weren’t for these thoughts, and without the confession that I fell into being an artist, the same way we say we fall in love. Do we judge in that moment we fall in love, or do we just try to be with the blissful naiveté as long as it would let us?”

In this piece I imagine a bamboo forest before me, even before the archer has plucked from the forest his long six foot bow. The bamboo sways; echoing in the expanse of the mountains I hear a treaty being signed, and the archer is still waiting for the most perfect arrow released to fall.

There is a strange recurring echo, as if this Buddhist sacred text has actually been read hundreds of years ago, accompanied by an ancient Guzheng, made of twisted silk and bamboo:

IV. 11,3. THE CARRYING OUT OF THE VOWS MADE IN THE PAST. It is as with a powerful master of archery, well-trained. He would first shoot an arrow upwards and would then by a regular succession of other arrows prevent it from falling down on the ground. In fact, the first arrow would not fall down on the ground until that man would decide that it should do so. In order that the first arrow should fall unto the ground, he does not send up the last arrow, with the result that the whole succession of arrows falls unto the ground. In the same way a Bodhisattva, who courses in perfect wisdom and who is upheld by skill in means, does not realise that farthest Reality limit until his wholesome roots are matured in the supreme enlightenment. Source: The Large Sutra on Perfect Wisdom

The process for creating a piece with the theme of Hong Kong took me on a journey through many political, historical, sociological and spiritual research until I found myself face to face with a place, intricately weaved with its past, where the perfection of the archer’s bow, drawn from the bamboo forests in ancient China drew Buddhists into perfect wisdom; the vow to lease another’s land for one hundred years was a small event in its ancient shores; and the beautifully visual word, music, in the Chinese language is a simple formation of two Chinese characters, silk & wood, in reference to the Guzheng, a musical instrument of long gone times made of twisted silk and bamboo, the strings released, plucked to produce tones.

These ancient shores
can be named
and renamed,
but Winter will
never ask if her dear sister,
Summer
has a new name.

It must have been in another life that these mountains held me like a babe.Sometimes my dreams return this image to me;but mostly I just know without thinking much about it.

In this gaze, my eyes saw that it takes more than one lifetime to learn to be a daughter. I had learnt homelessness, but I had also taught myself to hope when tenderness had shut its gaze from me.

I drank my tea. It was warm, and comforting. Outside the trees were losing their leaves, I heard their rhythms collide, amplifying their soft landings. It was a peaceful rhythm, like a slow Adagio that has lost its right hand, its melody. It felt like a tea ceremony, in the lonely forest above Kyoto; where 2 people sat in an unending silence, no breath longer or shorter than the one before.

The stars are still in your eyes, 2015

Voices from the past come to help and guide the listener in this short film. As moments from a deep past are recollected, an unconscious world that could have happened in another place, another time collides with the present moment, where the stillness contains its memory.

The voice which one hears in the audible soundscape, a voice emerging as whispers of thought, conflicting questions and associations with the memory of the past, is heard with the background of water boiling, being prepared for a hot tea, a tea ceremony in the hills above Kyoto, Japan. An old cymbal and drum belonging to my “new” Austrian grandfather, who was a musician in the Salzkammergut alps is used to create the soundscape; to bring these memories and associations into friendship; I am a daughter of this world, and other worlds which have already passed. We are always in communication; creating a labyrinth of meaning in dreamscapes or realities;

passing before the stillness in our eyes.

A score for solo soprano, from three Japanese poems, can also be performed live with this piece. It is another layer of hidden associations; ancient words from poets, weaving themselves through my present imagination, bringing their voices alive in the present moment. The three voices of these poets weave in and out of each other, as the singer swaps, sometimes suddenly, between the emotional expressions of each poem.

The process of sensitivity to hearing an inner voice, a “collective” inner voice, one that is possible after burning to ash the intimidating, unintegrated external voice, can sometimes be found only by realising vividly the part that “I” didn’t compose, but it was composed through a complex weaving of memory, associated thoughts, arriving in particular musical gestures through many many people.

This piece dedicates a special thank you to Sergej Tchirkov, the accordionist based in St. Petersburg. We worked together in the performance of “There was never any war up here”, a piece in memory of World War I, where Sergej performed improvisation with the dancer Euvegenia Chtchelkova against the backdrop of a small ensemble and electronics score. “Ashes. Gold” contains excerpts, “debris” from Sergej’s sensitive responses in this context, which I wanted to bring into light, in this trio, a trio of uncovering and discovering the hidden gold, somewhere from the ashes.

Kuss! für Urbo Kune, KidsThis is a “Stadtplan” Partitur, that belongs to an ever evolving project centred around the idea of a new city for Europe, Urbo Kune. It is also a long running project for me, where I continue to find ways to re-interpret this visual score. For this interpretation, I invite a young musician, Rapphael, on the alto saxophone to help create the piece, where he is given hints & help along the way to “interpret” the Stadtplan.