Ode to My Pantry: Kale

Learning to feed yourself can be one of the most terrifying things. Am I about to give myself food poisoning? If I eat this too often will I end up with scurvy? How can I get the most nutritional bang for my buck? Why does this still taste like ass?

With Ode to My Pantry, learn to navigate a grocery store without having a meltdown in aisle three. Give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach a queer to cook and stave off malnutrition for another semester.

Really now, I don’t even need to title this article. Everyone has four thousand feelings about kale, politically minded or not. It’s so tasty, nutritious and cheap! Whether you’re preaching about it steamed, fried, chipped or raw, there’s always something new to learn. Originally I was going to thank you for signing up for kale facts, but I figured I should try my hand at shitty poetry to fit my title. I have no grasp on strophes or antistrophes and I’m putting off limericks for another day, so this is what you get.

Hailing from Vancouver, Kristen's still trying to figure out how to survive Montreal's Real Legitimate Canadian Winter. So far she's discovered that warm socks, giant toques and Tabby kittens all play a role in her survival. Her ultimate goal is to rank higher than KStew in the "Kristen + Autostraddle" Google Search competition.

i kept wondering what this kale is you guys keep talking about, so i finally asked wikipedia:
“Kale or borecole is a form of cabbage (…) The name borecole most likely originates from the Dutch boerenkool (farmer’s cabbage).”
these posts make SO much more sense now

Autostraddle, thank you for beginning and constantly encouraging my obsession with kale. It’s the best. I think I discovered it a year or two ago on here with the Get Baked: Kale Edition! I made kale chips and I was hooked.
Kale is also wonderful with lemon juice and olive oil and a sprinkle of pepper and sea salt, mixed with grape tomatoes, chickpeas and hearts of palm.
I wish my kale hadn’t gone bad so that I could eat some RIGHT NOW. This is so sad. Who wants to share their kale with me?

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