There’s a song in Kiss Me Kate called “Too Darn Hot” that is literally about those times where it’s too hot to have sex. Seriously. That’s what it’s about. I love Cole Porter.

Last week, Garnet and I were in exactly this situation. It was hideously hot, but also we really wanted to have sex. ”I really want to fuck you in the ass,” they said at one point, “but I don’t want to strap on and…move.” They joked about starting a petition for sex to involve less moving. We had hauled an air conditioner up into their bedroom, though, so we figured that would maybe help.

Garnet just moved/is still kind of in the process of moving, so we had limited resources. Fortunately, one of our favorite dildos for buttsex was among them. We turned on the AC, spread a blanket on the floor, and then they ordered me to get undressed. I shed my dress and wriggled out of my bra and undies. I was already so turned on. Garnet slid their fingers into my cunt “You’re already wet and gaping for me,” they laughed.

They lubed up and started warming me up with fingers. It felt so good, the way they slipped inside my ass. It felt like such a long time since they’d fucked my ass, and I was so excited. ”You’re so tight,” they said. I got warmed up quickly, though, because soon they were pushing the long, smooth dildo inside me. I moaned and pushed back, wanting to take it all but also trying not to rush.

They experimented a bit, pushing the dildo as far in as it would go and tapping the base, sliding it in and out, and then they pushed downwards with it, and I basically lost it. It felt amazing, and my brain turned off and all I could do was feel and moan and push myself back on the toy as they pushed it inside me.

The Hitachi was close at hand, and they grabbed it and pressed it to my clit, switching it on. I pushed back harder, getting completely overwhelmed very quickly. I think it was just a few seconds before I was asking permission to come. Garnet gave their permission, and I started coming as soon as they said I could, moaning and squeezing the toy inside me.

And then they shifted the Hitachi, and I completely lost control, and at first I thought I was squirting, but then the scent hit me and I realized that I was, in fact, pissing. ”Oh God, did I pee?” I asked, and Garnet laughed and told me I had, and that I was such a dirty little slut for coming so hard I lost control of my bladder. I could feel my face get warm.

They pulled the dildo slowly out of my ass, and happily observed how open I was, both my ass and my cunt gaping wide. They told me to hold myself open like a good slut, positioning my hands so they could take pictures of my open holes, laughing delightedly the whole time. I felt deliciously humiliated. When they were done taking pictures, they asked how I was going to clean up my piss, which had soaked through the blanket and onto the floor. ”However you think I should, Sir,” I replied, knowing what they would want me to do.

“Are you sure? Be careful…” they warned. I nodded, and they pulled back the blanket and looked pointedly at the small puddle on the floor. I bent and began to lick it up. ”How does it taste?” Garnet asked “Your piss and cum?” I sat up for a second and giggled, saying it was weirdly kind of sweet. Then I finished licking up the rest. Garnet continued to tease me, asking what I was going to tell their roommate about pissing on his blanket, if I was going to tell him that I was such a slut that I lost control of my bladder with a dick in my ass. Then they had me go toss the blanket in the wash.

For the record, they later said I didn’t have to tell their roommate if I didn’t want to, and then we kind of both ended up telling him together, and his response was “Oh, that’s cool,” before he went right back to whatever he’d been talking about before.