When is the right time to try for another baby?

All I’ve heard all week is when is the right time to have another child or, have you got two under two?

All in response to the lovely news that Kate and William have announced their second pregnancy.

As the week has gone on, it’s got me more and more annoyed.

My mum always told me never to plan.

I never understood what she meant really, when I was younger. I do now.

There are some lucky, lucky people out there who may have planned when they were going to have children and then gone on to have another within a two, three, maybe four year gap.

I remember someone at a play group announcing her pregnancy a couple of years ago and saying, whilst looking at Boo, I wanted to get all over and done with.

I was so upset.

Unbeknown to her, I had just suffered my first miscarriage.

I should have had two under two.

She wasn’t to know but there is this assumption amongst many people that it is possible for everyone to plan their families.

I can assure you, not everyone is so lucky.

Boo was a wonderful surprise, we didn’t even plan that pregnancy. Once I’d had her however, I was totally submerged into the world of babies and I really wanted another.

We were getting married though so I had to wait.

After the wedding, it took over a year to get pregnant again and then I lost it.

These things happen, people told me. It wasn’t to be.

When I got pregnant again, six months later, I worked out I would have two under three but I ended up loosing that one too.

If this pregnancy ends with a healthy baby-see how I still say if, I am under no illusions that things can and do go wrong, I will have two under four.

So what?

As long as they’re both healthy and happy, who cares how big the age gap is?

Babies are a wonderful, special gift, no matter how big or small the age gap is between them.

There is no right and wrong way of doing it and no magic number of children to have.

Congratulations to William and Kate. They have been lucky.

Despite my losses, I still feel blessed to have Boo. Some people don’t even get the chance for one and, I hope and pray that this little being in my tummy which, experts say is the size of an heirloom tomato, continues to grow and blesses us with the joy and happiness our other little beauty has.

4 Comments

Congratulations on your pregnancy, that’s great news. I understand your apprehension, that’s natural after what you’ve been through but also don’t forget that this is a positive, happy time. Try to enjoy it as much as you can.

It’s so true, you can’t plan, especially when it comes to babies. In our dream life we would have had two under two, now I’ll just consider myself extremely lucky to ever get to two. And as time goes on the gap becomes less and less important!
Hope you’re keeping well! xxx

You are certainly right, there is no right or wrong way of doing it, and certainly no magic number for how many kids you should have. It’s different for every family, and everyone faces different challenges and experiences.

I think a lot of people dwell on the whole ‘2 under 2’ thing because it’s perceived to be tough, but the truth is, age gap doesn’t really matter, so long as everyone is happy.

I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. Hope everything is well with your current pregnancy x

I missed this somehow my lovely that you are expecting so first and for most congratulations!!!! That is fantastic. And yes you are so right it shouldn’t be planned and it can’t always be planned neither of mine were planned. People don’t realize there are miscarriages and infertilities women all around us so they should be politically correct when talking about it really. I am so sorry for your losses and I pray and wish for the best pregnancies ever for you. Age gap means nothing I have a brother 14 years older than me! Can’t wait to follow you along your amazing journey. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme