From “The Worst Night Ever Part 1” by Joshua Sylvester Guthrie

I was up in my room, right? It was nighttime, but it was still pretty bright because you could see the moon and Space Station V all lit up in the sky. I was up in my room on the second floor of our new house, okay? It has this little window that looks over the street.

And I heard this weird noise, right? Like a little kid sneezing, or maybe one of those little model railroads my uncle has. It sounded like chuff-chuff. I kept on hearing it fromt he brambly bushes between the house and the street that the old guy who lived in the house before us put in to keep kids off of his lawn. Then he died.

I kept on hearing that sound again and again, chuff-chuffchuff-chuffchuff-chuff. I called Mom but she didn’t believe me and told me to stop making stuff up.

Well, eventually, I heard a bang on the roof, which is also my ceiling in my new bedroom, and then that sound was super close, like on the other side of the wall close. Chuff-chuffchuff-chuffchuff-chuff. So I look out my window, and what do I see?

It’s a big cat, like a tiger but with sort of yellow blond stripes instead of normal ones. I screamed and it roared. It was the golden tiger Goldie that had escaped from the zoo a month ago, and it was trapped on my roof, right? Trapped and too scared to get down.