GOP Presidential hopeful and grimacing zealot Rick Santorum celebrated President's Day by unleashing a series of jaw-dropping absurdity almost majestic in scale. From chastising Obama for not governing America with Biblical values to calling for an end to public schools, it was a veritable celebration of fuckery. Let's tour the inanity.

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On Saturday, Santorum told a crowd that public schools are relics of the Industrial Revolution, that they're akin to factory work for children and that they should be abolished. So, who should be educating America's children? The parents, of course! Santorum told the crowd that if hell freezes over and figure skating pigs with wings take over the netherworld and he's elected President, he'll be homeschooling his kids as well. Because it's the right way to do things.

No one asked Rick Santorum how America's families were supposed to find the time or money to homeschool, as home schooling often requires at least one parent to be at home schooling the wee ones rather than working, but I'm sure in his addled mind, the reason most American families can't afford to home school is because of sluts. Or gays. Or slutty gays. It's always about the slutty gays with this one.

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Santorum also managed to find time for a little bit of birther paranoia in his busy schedule, telling a crowd in Columbus, Ohio, that President Obama wasn't running America using Biblical values. Of Obama's agenda, he told the crowd, "It's not about your quality of life. It's not about your jobs. It's about some phony ideal. Some phony theology. Oh, not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology."

A different theology, you say? Like secret Muslim Kenyan Marxist Hitler theology?! Last month, Santorum didn't correct a supporter who spoke at a campaign appearance and referred to Obama as an "avowed Muslim." And, as I'd like to point out, Santorum is basically Michele Bachmann with a penis and much, much uglier clothes.

This brings back precious memories of Santorum's claim earlier this month that 10% of people who die in the Netherlands are euthanized, and most of them are euthanized against their will unless they wear bracelets that specifically instruct doctors not to euthanize them. The reality is that while euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands, only 2.3% of people there die as a result of euthanasia and in order for it to be performed, a patient needs to sign papers expressing their desire to be euthanized, plus they have to suffer from a condition from which there is no hope of recovery.

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Is Rick Santorum trolling his supporters? Is this a big game of ideological chicken involving a stubborn voting base of ideologues versus rhetoric that veers further and further into nutbag land? How far can Rick Santorum go before his supporters reach their limit? Is there a limit?

I'll be popping popcorn in anticipation of what fresh paranoia will next issue forth from his lopsided mouth.