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why is forgiveness so hard?

because if it were easy, then you probably wouldn't need to forgive the person. When you realize that forgiveness is less about the person and more about you, then it does get easier. We like to hold on to things because it hurts our pride to be wronged and hurts even more if we feel like we are letting someone off the hook. By nature we want to make them "pay" as long as possible. But when you forgive a person, you are allowing yourself not be held captive by that hurt anymore. You let it go so that it doesn't eat you up.

I agree with first poster. It hurts to be wronged and you don't forget it. Supposedly forgiveness is for the one who was wronged, not for the offender, so she/he can move on. The person is not saying it was OK to be offeneded, but forgives to find peace. It's not easy, IMO.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 8:42 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

It's definitely not easy. I have a hard time with it at times myself. The only thing that works is to talk it out and then work at forgiving. Don't deliberately bring up the offense during the next argument. The goal of forgiveness is to eventually forget --not dwell on, at least, so you can move on. You have to make yourself do that sometimes.

Because it hurts. A lot. Whenever this happened with me, I think about it for about six months before reaching a decision to a) forgive them and b) start talking to them again. If they proved to me within that time that they are truly sorry for whatever it was that they did, then I would forgive. HOWEVER, if what they did involved endangering my family in ANY way, they're cut off for good. I refuse to risk my family for a dangerous friend.

Because the trust is broken. Once you lose trust and faith in a person, you lose respect and that is the hardest thing to reclaim. But hopefully one day it can be rebuilt, if that is what you chose to do. One day at a time. I know from personal experience.