Monday, November 02, 2009

6am, Alarm rang and i wistfully opened my eyes, what if i don't go to office today? The world will not come to an end, Nah, that was not me, but husband who was getting ready to the office, but what if i don't inform anyone? No answer. errrr, he left, his cab is waiting. Hmmm, no coin to toss and make a decision, i am not going, i told myself and back into the warmth of the blanket and entered the land of dreams.I din't bother to inform that i am on leave today, switched off my alarm, i slept and told myself the world is not going to end if i don't work for a day. Its ok to break the rules at times, its ok to not follow the instructions, its ok to not feel guilty and i slept.

Then, i woke up, just like that, 8am,without any alarm or without anyone waking me up and the silence was deafening, I know the guilt factor creeping. 8am, the time when the regular auto driver must be waiting down past ten min, attender at college must be wondering not to see me reading the morning newspaper which i carry myself from the reception and how he everyday cribs that i come first and he should be the one who must be early, I could feel his happy smile:)

Switched on the phone and the first msg reads from my best friend and colleague, "Don't bring the breakfast,i will get your fav dish" Damn, now i better act, called her up, informed her the reason, called the college, the attender was in a happy mood:))))) Msgs passed on and i went back to sleep.This time i know i wont wake up till someone bangs the door and till i feel hungry:)

Amma is the one who made me like this, Perfection is her pet word and rules are her passion and i am scared i will become like her,i want to break rules, for once, i never did that in school or neither in college:( I wish i could do it now, i know this is my last chance. When i have my kids, it would be my turn to preach them:)

The day is good, bright sunlight creeping through the orange curtains and loud music, loads of flowers in the balcony, the sparrows on the balcony grills and i am listening to "Chand taare ,thod laaon" from Yes boss. Anybody remembers the movie and incidentally today is SRK's birthday. Hmmm, any connection?

Oh, and i forgot, i am also having a big bowl of Icecream, choco almond blah blah blah something. And i just now finished watching Wake up sid. Now rest of the time will be spent at Farmville on facebook. Wow, seriously one day if you don't go to work there is so much to do. hmmm, but then because i work these small moments of stolen freedom seems so special, if i had to do all this everyday it looses its charm, isn't it.So many precious lessons in life are learns in simple ways, small experiences teach us alot, just that we need to be alert at such times to understand the true meaning, learn it, accept it and apply it to life. Last week i learn one such lesson, "You cannot get everything in life, its a matter of choices" and thank god i made a right choice and god did give me the right gift when i was confused myself.I learnt prayers do help, trust me, when we simply fold our hands and leaving besides our ego and frustrations and helplessness pray to him, prayers do work. Miracles do happen, I know they would, We dint give up, and we are on the road to recovery, thank god for small mercies and thank god for someone above who listens to us, to the prayers and to the helplessness in one's own capacity.