April 23, 2009

Potential, kids. It's all about potential. I hope you've chewed enough gum to notice that "potential," in that construction, refers to how it's only just a possibility that gum might make you a bigger, better, stronger, sharper person.

24 comments:

Chewing gum: its good for your coffee breath, and its good for your dental health, and its good for satisfying your oral cravings. Yet the Carbon Footprint of Gum makers shows that it is an evil waste, since it is only useful for humans. Then again, if we tax it a dollar a pack as an "offset tax", then everyone should resume chewing and we will send the Tax money to our friends around the world who absolutely promise us they will possibly cool down the Attacks from the Sun by many and various "Scientific" schemes. Chew baby chew, all gum guilt is now gone.

Maybe the students who weren't allowed to chew gum had a hard time concentrating with the noise of their 108 classmates chewing gum. The gum chewers might appear to be learning more, but they really might just be insulated from the damage.

Of course, I'm just waiting for a politician to read this report and pass a law requiring all students to chew gum. Obama, you listening?

In fact, it's old news when related to ADHD in children. Chewing gum or eating something helps the child to sit and pay attention because they aren't being asked to be *still*.

Not just kids, though. I probably mentioned before that after many years of getting all stressed about the price of popcorn at movies I realized that my husband was better able to enjoy the movie if he had something to nibble on.

don t talk to me about chewing gumwhen i was young and green so to speaki thought some fresh chewed gum was candyit was stuck to the leg of tommy s deskwho b t w is the boy whose computer i usebut like most boys he s a bit lackingin personal hygiene and neatnessanyway i nearly choked to death and got stuckthere for hours just like i was in a secretc i a prison which if you think about itis basically my life

Is baseball the only sport where compulsive chewing is the norm (or even accepted)? Some football players seem to be quite orally fixated on their mouthguards between plays, but that's not quite the same. Some tennis players chew, right? Don't see it much on the golf course or basketball court... Do cricket players chew?