Thursday, February 19, 2009

"I noticed a disturbing trend -- several hot mamas nursing their babies UNDER goofy, attention-grabbing aprons, for lack of a better word! ... [Y]ou're fooling no-one when your baby disappears under a graphic tablecloth that leaves you looking like you accidentally left the table with it tucked under your chin. You might as well get a neon sign that says, 'Bare boobies -- right under this fabric!'"

I was outright snickering when I got to tablecloth.

One Hot Mama, aka Roxanne, blogs and has a mama boutique with everything from BellaBands to hip maternity jeans to Hotslings (but no nursing tablecloths), with very reasonable shipping, which is always a plus! You can check out both and continue to enjoy her stylish writing and her wisdom. I don't know her and haven't even yet commented on her post, but I couldn't help but share the snarkiness.

One of the best things about blogging is getting to know all these other wonderful blogs out there! I put all the RSS feeds into Google Reader so I can track any updates, and then I click over to read them in context. I love comments on my blog so that I can find all you marvelous writers out there, so keep them coming.

That reminds me -- I need to go update my Favorite Blogs list. If you have any link suggestions, feel free to pass them on!

P.S. My apologies to Hooter Hiders and the like for making fun -- we're all on the side of breastfeeding, and I know you're doing what you think will help. Look, I even gave you a little link love in case someone disagrees with me vehemently and wants to buy one in protest. It's not your fault that I hate what your product represents -- I don't believe that there's shame attached to feeding our babies.

7
comments:

I am not a big fan of those either. I used to be, but you know, hiding it isn't going to help normalize it! What I do kind of like is Moboleez breastfeeding hats. I feel like they're less covering and a lot cuter. We sell them at work and have done okay with them.

Sorry for the delay. Hey, at least I'm persistent!! I wanted to address the hooter hiding name -- maybe that's almost the part that's the worst to me, because it suggests you should. And, fyi, I DID always happen to avoid flashing nipple when I nursed in public (four kids for the past 11 years). Have to say, trying to get twins latched on simultaneously did take a lot of practice, and I would excuse myself to do that at first, but only because twins are such a travelling freak show to start with (mine are identical). But once they were around 6 months old and I could get each one into their own sling, I could nurse while walking, or better yet, while eating!

jenny: Those Moboleez hats are kinda cute! I wonder if my strong-willed guy would have ever kept one on, of course, but it looks good for sun shade, too. :)

jessie: Yeah, isn't that where so much ends up? :)

roxanne: Yea, you made it! I also strive to avoid flashing the nip, and I think I always succeed. I'm impressed that you managed with twins, though! Awesome. Having them eat at the same time you're eating sounds like a good twin survival technique.

Hi! It's Lisa from TCC forum. I saw that you had put a link to the booklist on your blog so I decided to have a look-see. I like your blog!

Oh, I have so been on the fence lately about these nursing covers. I never imagined having the need for one, but the pressure is really getting to me...family and friends who think I am indecent! I no longer feel comfortable nursing around them (with or without a tablecloth!). But the real reason I have considered getting one is that my son gets so distracted by everything around him! I wonder if one of these would help settle down? But then I don't want to support the idea that it's indecent to not cover up. Akk.

That's a toughie, and why nothing's black and white in mothering. I feel like I'm sometimes speaking from a place of arrogance, because I haven't had overt backlash from nursing, even of a toddler now. I'm sorry you're getting so much negativity from friends and family. Is the distraction of your son a problem because he won't keep feeding, or because his whipping head makes it more "indecent"? I've been there, too -- just wondering! I think your baby's 7 months or so? That's definitely the stage for being distracted, and also just a transition in general (I noticed, at least) from settling in for a feed to popping in for a snack, switching sides back and forth, and then off to something else. Sometimes my 20-month-old nurses as frequently as a newborn, but without the long stretches -- he gets what he needs more quickly, I guess. When I'm out in public, I've learned to keep a hand nearby to pull my shirt(s) up again as soon as his head pops up. It seems to work well, and I've gotten quick reflexes from it. :) You might try practicing that. I don't attach everything back up in case he wants to go back in, but I just make sure I'm covered.

But, that said, if you want to try a nursing coverup, don't listen to me! :) Seriously, if you're feeling uncomfortable nursing in public and I'm not, due to circumstances that neither of us is controlling, who am I to tell you what to do? One reason I'm not fond of them is my baby hated having his head covered at that age (not sure he'd like it now, but I haven't tried). So you might try with a loosely draped blanket to see if it's even possible before spending money, but if it works for you and keeps you breastfeeding comfortably in public, then it sounds like a good solution. You might find that he settles down eventually in terms of being distracted and that you won't need it down the road, but that it was a help during a certain stage. You might also try getting some really nice nursing tops with discreet panels and such that sort of self-close when the baby moves his head away. Or you could try one of those Moboleez hats! :)

Regardless, though, you might try to find nicer people to nurse around. :( I feel bad that you're being pressured when you're doing something so beautiful and normal. Here's a thought that might (might!) help. When I'm out and see a woman nursing, I automatically stare at her in pleased surprise to confirm that she is in fact breastfeeding and to think how marvelous it is that here's another of my breastfeeding sisters out here. And then I realize I've been staring with a blank face and look away hurriedly. And then I realize that she probably thinks I'm disapproving, and I try to catch her eye and smile but feel awkward and rarely succeed. So ... maybe you think more people are being negative than are. (Maybe.) It might help to assume that everyone thinks you're a lovely mama who's doing a beautiful thing for her baby.

Hope you find what works for you. Thanks again for putting together the booklist! I'm making my way through it.

If Lisa is still being pressured to "cover up" by friends, just wanted to add (3 months too late, probably) that the best "kill two birds with one stone" solution for that would be a sling. Because then your distracted bambino would be sheltered, AND you could move away from those, ahem, friends who think you should cover up. :)

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Riding the rails with my husband, Crackerdog Sam, and our hobo kids, Mikko Lint Picker (born June 2007), Alrik Irontrousers (born May 2011), and one on the way (coming October 2014). Trying every day to parent intentionally and with grace.