Friday, March 03, 2017

It would probably, quite rightly, appall more than a few feminists to know that young women have been raised on the basis of my observations concerning feminism. But unlike the angry omegas of the West, I don't hate American women.

I do not despise American women. Quite to the contrary, I very much admire those who possess the courage, the character and the feminine spirit to reject the poisoned propaganda of the self-destructive Sisterhood and be women. It requires far more genuine strength and independence for a young American woman to become a lady today than it does for her to devolve into a faux male – those who manage the feat are princesses for whom a man might well wish to slay a dragon or three.

It is hard, very hard, for American girls to go against the tsunami of equalitarian propaganda and social pressure to which they are subjected. And yet, some of them manage it all the same. They are not only to be praised and celebrated, they are to be emulated.

Because they are the gateway to the future. Victory will not be achieved without them.

146 Comments:

I know first hand the strenght that is required to go against the Feminist Narrative for any woman. All the sniping and envy- driven witchhunt women are capable of is sometimes hard for men to grasp. Full support and encouragement is needed by us men.

"She's been raised to be a traditional American woman with an education."

Why is this so difficult?

Life is an adventure best tackled via a secure partnership. Trust, loyalty and devotion between husband and wife form the springboard for traveling Happiness Path your whole lives.

How to young people prepare for this? Make of themselves the best potential partner possible. Cultivate aptitudes. Learn skills. Develop talents. A girl should work to be qualified as a woman, a wife and a mother. A man should work to be qualified as a man, a husband and a father. The very notion of trying to be the opposite sex in role is so stupid that only the volitionally blind cannot see it.

I married an achingly pretty little girl, slim, chestnut hair, soft-spoken, even more intelligent than I realized. She knew how to cook, maintain a household, and how to manage babies and children before she was 20. Her open goals were marriage and family. She attended college for a teaching degree, and she quit her job to raise our kids rather than farm out the single most important occupation of our lives.

I sincerely hope my granddaughters are the same. My daughters-in-law are all college-educated, and the two with kids have already quit jobs (including a six figure one) to be full-time mothers and wives.

Partnership. Devotion. Traveling Happiness Path all the way to the Sunset (and beyond.)

I must add: It's no different for young men. I hear endless stories of young men trapped in the self-destruction of vices like video games, on-line porn and the age-old disasters of alcohol, drugs, meaningless sex & gambling. I see young men without goals, drifting through life.

IMO, all these moronic notions stem from the vast Extraordinary Popular Delusions of our times, but just because everyone else is trapped in the Hivemind's self-destruction doesn't mean EVERYONE must follow.

Everything we do becomes a part of us. How we spend our time is the defining answer to the question, Who am I? Pissing away life gaming, surfing porn, posting selfies (ugh, that word) and hanging out with same-sex bros (or hoes) is for insect-minded animals.

The opposite of a blue-haired woman whose brain is full of T. gondii is a man chasing serial brief sexual liaisons with vacuous or lunatic women. I read Heartiste and other like places for insights on some subjects, but on the subject of How To Live A Happy Life, they're mired in self-delusion every bit as bad as Gloria Steinem.

I'll close with an observation: Sex isn't "just" recreation, ever. If it's "casual," it's cultivating a predilection for shallow attachments. It is NOT "perfecting technique." Sex isn't that difficult. A husband and wife who have N=0 prior to marriage can cultivate a zone of trust where they can explore every aspect of the subject together that doesn't hurt, lead to physical damage or hit the ick factor.

My sons cultivated themselves as men who the best women would want. By all appearances they are living ideal lives (all the trappings of traditional American success, from job to marriage to home ownership to raising their own broods.)

It's pure parental malpractice to let your sons or daughters be Village Raised in these toxic times.

My wife became thoroughly red-pilled this past year, and she's said that she would have believed the narrative if it wasn't for 1) me and 2) seeing with her own eyes how evil the leftists and feminists have been. She made a FB post stating that she was confused about the goals of the women's march, and her own cousin posts a huge response filled with nothing but emotional attacks. Her assumption of good will in the opposition has been permanently destroyed.

At best I can merely speed the process. Feminists & Antifa & BLM have been red-pilling more people than I could possibly hope to in a lifetime of dialectic. Keep it up guys!

I am happy to see that there are some men in the world who 'get it'. I am even happier to see so many YOUNG men who get it. Real life shows me a lot of young marriages and early divorces...and children raised by only one parent who must work.

Perhaps it started when God was made unfashionable. Perhaps it started with the Pill and feminism. In the end, it is NOT possible to have it all, since one choice precludes another.

I can only agree with the prevailing opinion here that life is at its best when shared with a compatible spouse. This is not a choice to be made in haste. My advice to youngsters is to grow up a bit first, then choose.

An old joke, that I learned many years ago, involving the conversation between two Mexican mothers but it can be a conversation between any two mothers in Central and South America:

Maria: Juana, I how is your daughter in in America? I heard she got married.

Juana: Oh, she is doing great. She married an American. He helps her with the dishes, vacuum cleaning and doing other stuff around he house. I heard that your son married an American girl. Is it true? How is he doing?

Maria: Yes, he married an American girl but he is not doing so good. Now he has to wash dishes, vacuum clean and help around the house.

dc (and Vox, others), I've always enjoyed your posts on family, and always keen to hear more from you on it in terms of practical advice whenever you're willing.

If you had a grandson (or son) say early 30s, looking for a young high quality N=0 wife now, how would you advise him to go about it? The church?

Overall I consider myself very high value, I think I've done a lot so far. On the girl front, I've had the experience of dating some truly astonishing girls, only about 2-3 in hindsight I'd say were mother-of-my-kids material. But I was foolish when I met them, and at those points in my life, they were smart and brought up well to not take things too far with me.

I could meet girls with ease if I wanted. But at some point I started to question and get disgusted with what I was doing (and the vast majority of those girls), and eventually rediscovered Christianity.

Things are not as they used to be. I can't imagine it was ever this difficult to find a high quality white wife. The thought of "settling," especially on the N=0 bit, does not seem like something I could accept, however desperate I might become. I've thought maybe I'll just continue to pursue career stuff and focus on myself, and if it really has to come to it go find a girl in Eastern Europe (though I fully recognize why this could turn out terribly).

I was raised far more traditionally than most, but I realized in my teenage years that I had been infected with feminism from being in Girl Scouts, the American Girl books, etc. It's only in the past couple years that I think I've really cast off its influence, and this blog was integral in doing so. I can probably improve in my ladylikeness still though!

"It requires far more genuine strength and independence for a young American woman to become a lady"The trouble with that is that goes with a certain rebelliousness that must be eliminated from other aspects of one's life in order to BE a lady, properly submissive to one's father and then husband. On that note, I crave advice. Is it possible for a woman to redpill a man? How do you do it without being bossy or acting like you know better than him? My sister's boyfriend is a decent fellow who, I believe, wants a traditional marriage with lots of kids, him being the provider, etc., but he has picked up some of that Churchian "Christianized feminism" that defers to and pedestalizes women so.

@15. Anna, if by blessed you mean cursed, and by far better off, you mean undisciplined, wild, foolish and deceived, certainly.

By any sane definition, however, excelling at trade, mentoring, delving deep into a profession, and leading other are not things that will make the vast majority of women happy. They aren't even things that the majority of women can actually excel at in the first place, to be perfectly honest.

Just like with men, sleeping with whoever she wants may give her a fleeting thrill for a handful of years or perhaps even two, but it will be absolutely devastating any hope she has of more permanent happiness beyond the short term.

The women of twenty first century America are far worse off psychologically, emotionally, and ultimately materially than almost any era previously. You're crossing the threshold of insanity and delusion to assert otherwise.

Emily Rogers at Occidental Dissent summed it up well, the majority of women are biding their time waiting for the zeitgeist to crest then recede.

I predict it recedes soon, the conservatives simply cannot keep propping up the SJW even Charles CuckKing Murray is not safe these days (unbelievably he used disqualify and discredit against the SPLC). So as the cucks fall by the wayside the alt-right fills the vacuum.

@12 Cantostop, I'm clueless. Long ago I realized that I had no idea how to advise my own sons when it came to this. I have no experience (I married my h.s. sweetheart when I was 22, she 21, right out of college.) I never "dated" as an adult.

My middle son is pretty geeky (I love him dearly.) Tall, very thin, nearly brilliant (4.0 K-16, literally), I actually contemplated talking to a family whose daughter my wife taught in 4th grade, a girl who was beautiful in H.S., very bright, single-minded too, who was about 9 years younger than my son, to see if we might "arrange" something. In the meantime he found a nice girl on eHarmony, however. She is quite striking (nearly as tall as he is, hourglass figure) but not ruined by too much male adulation, possibly due to a physical defect that was surgically fixed in her teen years. I gather that on-line dating systems are bimodal: lots of high N girls with serious "issues" and probably a very few good prospects who have realized that they, too, need to cast the net far wider than those men in their immediate vicinity.

My wife and I discussed just last evening what I wish I could tell my grandkids when they're 12 or so. I'd say to ignore all the Village Idiocy; do not have sex with anyone unless you have very, very good reason to believe it's a relationship that will be lifelong. Since you can't possibly know this as a teenager, this means waiting until at least 18 or 19, and then only if you 1) can't wait for marriage and 2) have been in the relationship long enough to have a good idea who you're dealing with. If you do get physically intimate but the emotional intimacy doesn't follow through to marriage (AKA LTR that blows up), you better realize that you get at most a couple of those before your N is getting far too high, and your mate value is at major risk. If you have one or two intimate relationships that don't end up in marriage, stop having sex at all until Mr. Right puts the wedding ring on your finger. (I wrote this last to apply to women, but frankly I think the same applies to men.)

In my observation, as a woman passes 20 or 22 the only way she's likely to have an N=0 is if she is BOTH very choosy AND she's not terribly attractive. This is a sad truth, very pretty girls are simply too saturated with gaming men and eventually some charming cad will wear her down, use her and move on.

Men who wait are not hopeless as long as they're willing to dial down the expectation for HB8+. One of the homeliest girls I've met married well and had a wonderful family. She is also one of the nicest girls I've ever met (other than my wife.) Sweet disposition is frankly THE most important attribute of a wife. Her looks WILL fade. Men who are addicted to youthful looks and who compare their wife to perpetual 20 year olds are doomed to misery...just another Village attribute.

Just my 2 cents. Frankly, other people's lives are a complete enigma to me.

@19. Anna, he listed those things because those are some of the core material things that she trades everything else for.

Your delusions are manifest in your second sentence in that post of yours.

Your assertion that women have been told what they can do/should be/can go/must act like/may breed with is absurd. Yes, some societies have been much more restrictive than others. however, even if we pretended that ours had historically been one of them (it has been far and away the opposite, in reality) freedom does not equal happiness. More choices will not bring you joy, it will only bring your foolishness more worry and stress about whether you made the best choices, since you were not educated in the best choices (the education that you think of as restrictions, the one that would have saved you from your oncoming misery).

On the other hand, the societies that have been highly restrictive with their women are almost universally as restrictive with their men.

Our society has become one of disintegration. It tells our young men "you don't need a good wife, casual sex is better"/"you don't want children, they'll only make you miserable"/"hedonistic pleasure RIGHT NOW is what is best in life", all lies to the contrary of the truths, namely, "a good wife will make you happy, and you'll be more satisfied with that sex than with casual sex"/"children are difficult for a while, but they are one of the greatest sources of happiness in life"/"fleeting, momentary euphoria will be gone by the time you bat an eye, a well-made family is best in life".

It tells our young women very similar things. The result is that our young men are disgusted with our young women. Our young women hate and revile our young men. Both our young men and our young women are corrupted, defiled and degraded permanently by the rebellious, reckless and mad behaviour they have been goaded into by the horde of psychopathic freaks that run our educational systems, our media and recently our government.

@26. If claiming the ability to choose suicide and pain, and to be free of the safeguards and guides to real happiness if worthwhile to you, be my guest, but keep it to yourself and don't destroy others.

Your flawed definition of winning will circle back on you like a noose. Hopefully you escape it, but you don't look likely to in your present delusional state.

Prozac Nation. One in Four American women is on anti-depressants. If this is what winning looks like, what is losing?

With freedom comes responsibility. For two illustrations of failure in this regard, look no further than the casual hedonism of the University and the stupid women wearing pink genitalia-shaped hats.

I respect ONLY those people who figure out for themselves, free of Village-minded Idiocy, how to live and then do their best to live that way. Nock called these people The Remnant. They are quite literally the ONLY people who matter; everyone else is simply "the masses," "the mob," "the mindless drones in the hive."

I wonder if Vox Day might qualify to be "an" Isaiah in Nock's famous essay "Isaiah's Job." https://mises.org/library/isaiahs-jobhttps://youtu.be/iw4lUGw_sbU

#33"Yes, you can tell by the collapsing female happiness and massive antidepressant consumption."

Yep, this is the truth. Even women who believe they are traditional, then go to cuck churches are unhappy, bored, and trying antidepressants by the bucket load, usually before their late 40's unless wealth or fame allows denial.

Looking back at my post it is confusing, but to me its pretty obvious that feminism is a fail, I'm just stating the obvious and not wallowing about in the details and submitting to taboo like a conservative intellectual is wont to do in the quest for respect from the Left. (I'm not Charles Murray)

If Anna is happy (I bet not) then fine, but IMO feminism is a fail and it is time to begin the autopsy on it.

The next big crisis, older lonely white women what do for them or not.

The problem is and always has been White Knight betas and gammas, not just women. This country lost pussy control because of stupid Victorian pretensions embedded in the laws by those two execrable groups of men.

Anna, yes you have gained. I hope you will never be in a situation where you have experience what being equal truly means. Maybe watching some of the videos from Sweden (recent example) will start giving you some idea.

Fauxmale is a good word for it. According to fauxmale logic, you're a self-hating woman, if you want to be a woman, who does womanly things.

Feminism was the stumbling block which saved me from leftism. I grew up in a single parent home and daycare (unusual for that time and place) and saw the dysfunction and therefore the value of traditional roles.

Separation from mother means almost certain death in the animal kingdom. Daycare is stressful for kids, full stop. It irritated me back in the day when they refused to study the issue (or poorly studied it) or even discuss it rationally because that might make women feel guilty. "Wait a minute, so this means women AREN'T capable of, and shouldn't be expected to make good decisions based on reason?" I saw agenda trumping science and morality. My first pink pill.

Pretty much everyone I knew had an abortion. It looked to me like a one-way ticket to insanity and hell. All part of the agenda. No thanks. Not doing that. My second pink pill.

Through a series of unfortunate events, I divorce, finish my degree and go to work. I. HATE. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. OF IT. I remember Hillary Clinton defending her lawyering, "Well I guess I could have stayed home and baked cookies." I couldn't imagine anything better than staying home and baking cookies. I was good at baking cookies! My snickerdoodles would make you cry! Things got even worse after I remarried--wasting all my talent and energy, doing all I could all day every day to please another man...to whom I was not married. Third pink pill.

" . . . expensive gyms do a decent job of weeding out the fat and the poor."

While retaining the self-entitled "princesses" who need a bevy of servants to look after their simplest needs. They are no more Ladies then the common gutter snipes.

A better bet is the woman who watches her diet and drags a cheap weight set back from Kmart all on her own initiative. I'm not invoking a "strong, independent woman." I am invoking a woman with strength and independence.

If she can't cook for herself properly, she can't cook for you properly either.

Women want those things with no consequences. She should be told that if she doesn't have kids by 35 she is unlikely to be able to do so. 5JewsNews want white women to work their fertile years away so they will be barren spinsters no one but Mr Wiskers will want to spend time with as they leech off the dole.

Girls should see what the results of feminism are, being alone in a house full of cats or getting beat up by your lesbian girlfriend.

" . . . expensive gyms do a decent job of weeding out the fat and the poor."

Just a reminder you can chose the gym with all you can eat pizza+ alarms when someone grunts or the one that kills blacks that try it via Rhabdomyolysis http://stuffblackpeopledontlike.blogspot.com/2013/02/787-crossfit.html

@dc "I'll close with an observation: Sex isn't "just" recreation, ever. If it's "casual," it's cultivating a predilection for shallow attachments. It is NOT "perfecting technique." Sex isn't that difficult."

Could not agree more... while one can improve as he learns which girls respond to what and pattern recognition comes into play, that can be done with the same person with the added benefit of shared experience, and the consequences - spiritual, psychological, physical etc - far outweigh any possible benefit.

And for girls? Forget about it. I don't mean to cause offense with this as it's a touchy subject, but I can say with certainty that even N=1 will often cause significant, irreparable damage, which gets exponentially worse as the number goes up.

Back in the day it seemed known that almost everything you could get from a wife, you could get elsewhere. Sex - prostitute/easy girl, cooking/cleaning - maid, raising your kids - nanny, and so on. The one thing a girl had to give to a man that none of the others could give, that bound her to him, was her virginity. Now we have a culture that makes fun of or even condemns it, while promoting black/white couples as an ideal...! When I see this I can't help but feel, "burn it all."

As I believe Vox has pointed out, the pleasure principle is a devastating lie, a bottomless pit of despair.

@Josh "Find someone who was homeschooled or attended a Christian classical school."

I've heard this and agree, but how? If you could just "find someone" homeschooled or who attended a Christian classical school, then you'd be able to find someone who met any of the other criteria. Getting involved with a school or homeschooled network seems a bit strange as well for someone without kids. Then again, desperate times desperate measures and some thinking outside the box is required.

I'm beginning to suspect that inter-generational communities and strong mother/daughter bonds are very important in raising women with a practical grasp on motherhood. By which I mean - even if your mom popped out 10 kids there's a good likelihood that all but the oldest few don't have a good working memory of what it really takes to manage that many needs. Hence the need to continually see this happening around you in your community AND the need to have the kind mother/daughter relationship where she's able to advise on the practical realities of cleaning house, keeping supper going, and looking moderately attractive when you've got a teething baby and a sassy toddler who is feeling her oats and needing a stronger guiding hand. None of that HAS to be overwhelming, but our modern age segregated society and strained family relationships mean that too many women lack training and guidance in how to smooth over those issues. I see too many women who are or would be traditionally minded regarding motherhood and family size who say "I'm just not sure how to do this." They feel alone and are looking at their (often equally clueless) peer group for help instead of having the kinds of relationships that encourage the relatively smooth running of large families.

(Sorry if that was a slightly OT book. It's just a topic that I'm pretty passionate about.)

If the number is important to you, you are going to have to go after a younger girl. Women who care enough to keep their number down, normally do so because they want marriage and babies.

By early to mid-twenties they are taking that goal seriously. By their 30s they pretty much want to be married with a kid at least on the way.

Don't be surprised if they haven't had a lot of serious boyfriends. Women do use sex to keep men around and if a woman is unwilling to do that....her competition will.

Watch how girls treat each other in groups. The girls with the best character and least experience are often mocked by their more worldly peers. Being called a "good girl" was an insult when I was in my 20s....I can only imagine how bad it is now.

@50 Oh I am well aware of the blasphemous Planet Fitness. No squat racks, banned deadlifts. And at $20 a month probably teeming with the trailer-bound. Crossfit is fine if you never want to be good at any one thing, I suppose. And at $200+ a month it has a more civilized clientele. Were I single a Crossfit might not be the worst bet.

I'm "beginning to suspect" because my mom was (and is) bat shit crazy. What I don't know about normal adult mother/daughter relationships is probably covered in several books available on Amazon. When you don't know what's missing in your life it's hard to ID the issue.

"Cantostop, I'm clueless. Long ago I realized that I had no idea how to advise my own sons when it came to this. I have no experience (I married my h.s. sweetheart when I was 22, she 21, right out of college.) I never "dated" as an adult."

I have a successful ex-client from Mexico who married his high school sweetheart, and has (I think now 2) kids. He said a lot of his friends have complained to him, and have to keep dating younger and younger, because the girls are such sluts basically. He seemed genuinely at peace and happy, and I'm sure a big part of his success comes from his wife and stable home. I was envious, and I told him so.

@dc " I gather that on-line dating systems are bimodal"

Yes, it's majority high N with serious issues, and a very few good prospects, I'd only add another "very." They recognize they need to cast their net wider, then many write off that section of the net once they're (almost immediately) inundated with dick pics, weirdos, and proclamations of love.

" If you do get physically intimate but the emotional intimacy doesn't follow through to marriage (AKA LTR that blows up), you better realize that you get at most a couple of those before your N is getting far too high, and your mate value is at major risk."

Consequence-free sex is one of the greatest, most damaging lies that exists, and I'd put the bitter feminist whores who advocate it close to certain immigration proponents in terms of societal destructiveness.

" In my observation, as a woman passes 20 or 22 the only way she's likely to have an N=0 is if she is BOTH very choosy AND she's not terribly attractive. This is a sad truth, very pretty girls are simply too saturated with gaming men and eventually some charming cad will wear her down, use her and move on."

Absolutely agree, and this is why I flat out refuse to date anyone over early 20s. Waste of time to try to find that statistical anomaly. When I did online dating I eventually had it set to 22 MAX. When I would experiment moving it even to 23, the difference was astounding.

" Men who wait are not hopeless as long as they're willing to dial down the expectation for HB8+. One of the homeliest girls I've met married well and had a wonderful family. She is also one of the nicest girls I've ever met (other than my wife.) Sweet disposition is frankly THE most important attribute of a wife. Her looks WILL fade. Men who are addicted to youthful looks and who compare their wife to perpetual 20 year olds are doomed to misery...just another Village attribute."

Thank you for this. I'm sure I will draw on it again later.

Reminds me of Jimmy Soul - If You Want To Be Happy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NF5XU-k2Vk).

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your lifeNever make a pretty woman your wife..."

It's not ABOUT YOU. You may be a liar, promoting the "Narrative," or you may be the exception, and indeed think you have a great life,but none of that matters. Feminism is destructive to civilization" future.

And the side effect of that, Anna, is that those women produce sons, brothers, and husbands who, having been morally and intellectually castrated, cannot defend them. Slavery is in their future and they deserve it, for trying to make a fantasy real and for making sure that their defenders cannot defend.

I don't understand how the choice to travel or not, to marry or not, to study or not, to work or not, to have children or not destroys me. PLease explain.

Your long term choices are:1. having kids/family that care for you2. Getting beat up by your lesbian girlfriend.3. working your fertile years away to help pay for Latrina's 21 crackbabies in hopes one will rape you when you are barren alone in a house full of cats.

@63 Natalie, I love my daughters-in-law yet each had significant shortcomings they needed to modify as wives because their families (parents still married, not exactly Ozzie & Harriet, but together) failed to teach.

We raised our sons to LEAVE (i.e., to Be Independent.) We see their wives as THE key to our sons' happiness and the mothers of our grandchildren, an honor and responsibility of incalculable value.

Each girl has stepped up and gets as much support from my wife and me as they'll accept. An example is that while each girls' parents rarely if ever did "home cooking," the girls have learned to turn home meal prep into a couples affair (my sons were taught to cook before they left home), turning a mundane activity into a socially engaging recreation. We applaud this in part by celebrating when they offer us a new recipe to try and letting them know how wise we think it is that they prepare meals at home, together.

My wife's and my approach to child discipline and instilling self-control is already in use with our oldest son's family (and oldest grandchild, the others are still infants.)

So I concur wholeheartedly, extended family bears a responsibility and an obligation to help young adults if in no other way than to shower them with evidence of RESPECT when they are doing respect-worthy things.

Mutual respect is the foundation of every single successful human relationship. Rather than rewarding people for doing something right, I believe it is subtly better to pay them respect when they do something worthy of it. There's a difference, and in my experience it matters.

I truly pity young adults who lack this kind of support from parents. I lacked it, and I notice its absence in others. It takes decades, great spousal support and a lot of backbone to assimilate this and move beyond it.

I do note that the resulting deficits CAN be overcome on strength of reason alone, but it's not common. My wife and I created the system by which we raise our kids entirely endogenously. We simply figured it out.

On the connection between "trade shocks" and declining male incomes and poor family formation rates.....http://www.unz.com/isteve/when-work-disappears-manufacturing-decline-and-the-falling-marriage-market-value-of-men/

One can feel nothing for contemporary western Women but profound sorrow.

Tricked into betraying their own femininity by rejecting marriage and motherhood - Which in truth, are the only real path to female happiness - they have been sold into wage slavery by feminisms grotesque lie - Work Will Make You Free!

She can bring no more to livingThan the things that make her great.As the mother of the infantOr the mistress of the mate.

Honestly, if you can get past the legalism (ie no drinking no dancing) and the dispensationalism Grace Livingston Hill wrote some great books for young women. They are definitely lightweight women, but they generally support homemaking and other feminine qualities.

Men have historically had their choices limited and been shamed and otherwise punished for stepping out of line.

We had much less single motherhood. People didn't routinely kill their kids. Dual incomes weren't considered a necessity.

Yeah, people couldn't just screw around, doing whatever they liked and get accolades when they wrote about it for some media outlet. So what? You think pleasure and unlimited "choice" is the end all and be all of existence? What a shallow life you lead. Grow up and realize that our entire civilization doesn't exist to pat you on the head and approve of your self centered desires.

"In my observation, as a woman passes 20 or 22 the only way she's likely to have an N=0 is if she is BOTH very choosy AND she's not terribly attractive. This is a sad truth, very pretty girls are simply too saturated with gaming men and eventually some charming cad will wear her down, use her and move on."

I don't know if I would agree with that. High T pretty women maybe, I think they have a hard time controlling themselves and I feel for them, but not low T 7+ who know they can be choosy.

@80 "I don't understand the question. I don't understand how the choice to travel or not, to marry or not, to study or not, to work or not, to have children or not destroys me. PLease explain."

My grandmother born in the late 1890s had all of those choices.

My grandmother had those options, subject to the fact that there wasn't a lot of money around. But she would have been unhappy without my grandfather and children. The primary evolutionary purpose of women is having children and nurturing them. That's where their "comparative advantage" lies, as Adam Smith would say. When they get too far from that basic principle, most women are going to become dysfunctional.

"Well then, she was probably a very strong woman. However, not all women in 1890 had these choices and certainly not all women in 1890 were encouraged to make the kind of choices I mentioned and in may cases would have been punished had they made what was considered the wrong decisions."

THERE IT IS!

That is the key to feminism. You weaklings want the same benefits and privileges the rest of us do the work for and earn. Everyone runs the risk of punishment and backlash for going after what they want, that's part of what makes it worth it and admirable.

You want it to be handed to you on a silver platter with a fanfare of encouragement and praise. Then are amazed when no one respects you despite all of your "choices."

@Anna in Love.We've always had choices, heaven or hell.Non Serviam! is the latter.You have one son, showing your choice is a genetic dead end. And even he to you is not a person, he is an object you use to boost your ego. You may be satisfied and content now but those things aren't the happiness that lasts.

I'm a 55-year old divorcee, who had too many options as a young woman, and so didn't make the right choices soon enough. "You're too intelligent! You should have a career, not settle for being a stay-at-home wife and mother."

I believe if I had had fewer socially acceptable options as a young woman, my life would have been much fuller and happier.

@99 I apologize then, sincerely. You didn't have the choice. Most women who speak like you have that choice and decide to stop, and for your tragic case, I've seen 99 who have no or one child out of choice which my words would apply to.

I do find it fascinating to see the freedom to "have it all" celebrated as a stand-alone good, when as I see it, encouraging people to "have it all" is the cornerstone of widespread misery.

Life is about choices, and most of those are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE. You can't be chaste and sexually emancipated. You can't be dependent and independent. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

You get ONE and ONLY ONE choice at each cusp in your life. There are no do-overs.

Yet I could spend an hour listing all the ways people are told to "have it all," (mostly as a means to make you vaguely unhappy so you'll go out and purchase whatever is being advertised at that moment, promising to make you happier.)

Feminism today is identical to telling 10 year olds they can make the full spectrum of adult decisions. Paradoxically, by encouraging a life with unlimited choices, proponents of "freedom" produce a society of perpetual adolescence. They tell 18 year old girls and boys to screw their way through the dorm, and some are clearly far too juvenile to realize what a self-destructive admonishment this is.

Read the old article and agree on the part about the white/western women *hating it when you date outside of their group (ethnic/culture). I lived overseas in Asia for a while and the Western fellas outnumbered the gals by quite a number, so naturally a lot of guys went native when dating.

Many of them married the more traditionally inclined Asian women. And the western ladies *hated it, often attributing it to "not being able to handle a real, modern woman."

They didn't get it all. Note: Quite a few of the Western ladies were married or traditional as well - they were no monolith. Basically just the party girls and the feministas, who were maybe about 1/4 of them, from my experience.

I remember too that this was a phenomenon in Europe too, during the 2000s - where western guys would marry apostate ME women and Asian women (the numbers of exogamy among ME in France and Holland were very high for a while). It's not that the men were SEXIST - it's just that they didn't want to marry some harridan who hated the west.

Whatever issues there may be with immigrants aside - women who are traditional and like the West will attract males who are traditional and like the West. If that woman happens to be Vietnamese or Persian, men will choose them, not some nasty harpy, no matter how blonde she is.

I want my little girl to grow up to be respectful of people, kind, caring, have a positive attitude, learn to maintain a household, and learn to question people. I also want her to learn to have a little humility, and to learn how to persuade people in a sales environment. Ultimately, I want her to marry a good man and have children. I couldn't care less what career she wants to do, so long as she doesn't pitch headlong into debt for it, or resort to something degenerate.

Anna In Love wrote:Very happy! My husband of 11 years is brilliant and devoted and a wonderful provider. My young son is a very good and curious boy. Our extended family supports each other. My work fulfills me. And I have time to devote to my causes as well as education. I'm very happy. And I'm very happy that women have all the choices as men.

"And I'm an astronaut! And my IQ is 258! And all the women around me are so envious it eats at them! And I'm a secret princess of a faraway land! And...."

Come on, Vox. To be fair, it is kind of hard to tell Tard apart from the usual snowflake broads on the net.

No, it's not. Even if you don't immediately recognize his style, NO NEW COMMENTER ever comes in here and promptly throws up 5 comments in 30 minutes. Most of them can barely puzzle their way past the Blogger comment system. It's not that hard.

What I have is a very traditional (and happy) life. What I want my sons to have is a very traditional (and happy) life. Ditto my grandkids.

What is it about people that New Math is always supposed to be New AND Improved?

[As an aside, "happiness" is somewhat a modern invention. I also think New and Improved is a corollary of modernism's Bigger-Faster-Better growth premise, which is ultimately why the Hivemind went Full Retard 50 years ago and began sustaining Miller High Life via the Western Civ Mastercard.

From The Warlock Unbound by Christopher Stasheff, words of wisdom that I read and took to heart (and John C. Wright did as well).

"There was never a thinking creature made to tear her secret self to bits, and toss the pieces out to passers-by; thus thou wouldst slowly shred thy secret self away, till nought was left, and thou didst not truly exist—only a walking shell would then be left. And this doth happen whenever thou dost open thy body to one who loves thee not, and whom thou dost not love. That breaks the wholeness of thy secret self, for we are made in such a wise that our inner selves and bodies are joined as one, and when the one doth open, the other should. So if thou dost open thy body while keeping thy secret self enclosed, thou dost break the wholeness of thy self.”

We have a huge variety of choices before us in life. Most of those are bad.

Matthew 7:13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:

You should look for a woman 5 to 10 years younger. Say 27 at the outside. Church might be one place to find her but be careful. There's lots of lightweight no sacrifice required get into heaven free churches out there. You don't want a wife who thinks everything is or should be handed her for free.

But I'd also be remiss if I didn't warn you not to stop going to church once you find a good wife. Because you don't want to be that guy, either.

There are some things you can only have by total commitment, and you should hunger after those things, and strive to be one.

FWIW my husband's approach was to get good at and then teach latin dance in fairly a rural town. He says you can tell a lot about a woman by her arms - too floppy indicates a lack of confidence, too firm, an unwillingness to be led. He's stopped teaching since scooping me up and when people ask why, he tells them, half jokingly, "I got what I wanted out of it."

Come to think of it, the girlfriend whose marriage I most admire and expect to last was a competitive ballroom dancer most of her childhood.

The problem is and always has been White Knight betas and gammas, not just women.

This may or may not be true, but gammas (really betas and below) have almost no control over the current mating environment. Females always have the majority of the power in non-violent mating situations: males display, females choose. (See http://www.toqonline.com/archives/vol6no2/DevlinTOQV6N2.pdf)

The only men with any control right now are alphas, who have no immediate reason to seek to change the mating system, and fathers, who will understandably believe that their daughter is a very special girl who needs to go to college.

This is why the situation is probably hopeless until serious suffering is imposed.

I should note too that, since men can have ten children in a day, whereas females can have perhaps ten in a lifetime, lower value men will always be the favorite target for blame of any society: men want to establish that they aren't *them*, women want to establish that they won't mate with *them*.

So you have a situation where the people with the least power also absorb the most blame. Good stuff.

Puerto Ricans in Puerto Rico can collect social security disability for NO SPEAK ENGLISH

A husband and wife who have N=0 prior to marriage can cultivate a zone of trust where they can explore every aspect of the subject together that doesn't hurt, lead to physical damage or hit the ick factor

Mr Owl, how many hookers will it take to satisfy Charlie Sheen? The world may never know

Disney puts its Full Convergence on Propagandistic Display by putting (quoting the director) an "exclusively gay moment in a Disney movie."

I posted that earlier under "No one gives BJs behind the Home Depot Dumpsters like Gaston", you should check out Gab @bgkb

(Sorry, was feeding the troll, so I decided to put the message on a diet and get back on subject.)

Paul tells us that it is better to be single and to concentrate on God, but it is better to marry than burn in hell fire because of a lack of self-control. For a Christian, then, there is nothing wrong with being single and helping in the church, and then relying on the church later to "make up" for the lack of kids. If you don't want kids or a spouse, there is nothing wrong with not having them, but having them creates obligations that you cannot then throw off.

Religiously, the only two items we do of value on this Earth is Gods work, in building up our own faith and helping others build their faith, ESPECIALLY your children and family. Secularly, the only thing of value a person does is perpetuate the society and family. If you can't have kids, you help the children in your close family survive. Without those children, your family and your society dies.

Ecclesiastes shows us how what we produce in our life is useless. In twenty years, practically no one is going to care that I kept a certain customer's systems from crashing while doing work, or that someone like me cost the US economy $150 million+ when they took down Amazon AWS yesterday. Only the most blessed of us will manage to create anything remembered 5 years after we leave an employer, much less 100 years down the road. The only good we can glean from our labors is our own satisfaction and our wages.

If God asks you "I meant for you to have 3 children; where are the other two?", then what will "But I had a career" be in defense; the career burns with the old Earth but the two kids will never, ever exist. If a child never accepts Christ or falls away, and God says "Why did you not do X, Y, and Z to keep your child from burning in Hell?". "I couldn't do those because I was too busy at my job" will mean nothing. You may dodge Hellfire yourself, but only by Grace and certainly not from the fruits of your useless labor.

Our first obligation is to God. Our second obligation is to our spouse. The third is to children, and then to parents and extended family. Christians are called to labor like they're working for God directly, so that we don't steal from our employer, and so that society doesn't collapse. But do not confuse a need with a goal. When a man or a woman goes before God on his judgement throne and show him a career, it will be like a two-year-old showing his parent a finger painting.

Telling young women to abandon the family for the career is doubly diabolical; it is meant to cripple both the Church spiritually and society. Likewise, telling young men that the most important thing they can do is first work and play, and then work before family, is also diabolical. We need to tell our children that their first duty is to God, and then if they do marry, to their spouse and any children. This concept that you identify with your job first is idolatry, whether in women or in men.

@115 Rae, I met my wife when I was a student in ballroom dancing and she was among the visiting prospective students. I was in 8th grade, she was in 7th. Kismet exists. [I take pride that at our wedding, we danced (box step, waltz, etc.) rather than the long-typical "dancing" by rocking back and forth.]

Natalie wrote:I'm beginning to suspect that inter-generational communities and strong mother/daughter bonds are very important in raising women with a practical grasp on motherhood.

The inter-generational bonding can be important to the formation of men, too.

My sister started having children while I was a teenager, and I had to help entertain her kids. While playing, I discovered a previously unknown protective instinct: "I will protect this child with my LIFE."

That moment was a glimpse into fatherhood and what I needed to be. Seeing my sister be a mom also helped me appreciate the need to seek wife-and-mother-of-my-kids material.

"The only men with any control right now are alphas, who have no immediate reason to seek to change the mating system, and fathers, who will understandably believe that their daughter is a very special girl who needs to go to college."

Absolutely absurd. The massive demographic imbalances are the root cause of the problem. It's not that there are no good ones left... it's that there are none left, period.

Coupled with the fact that women intuitively realize that the government is currently 10x the breadwinner that any mate could be for them, alpha or otherwise, and well, there ya go. And can I blame them? Well not really, to be honest. They can ride the Alpha-occasional-Sigma carousel while all of their economic needs are spectacularly met and hey, who wouldn't?

Bevause I'm no hypocrite. I start thinking about the prospect of being chivalrous... and then I go to pretty much anywhere and I see all the blended-hair, obese, millineal women, waddling around to the "lame duck vape shop" with their bastard-baby-bumps sticking out, yeah... I jump in the Hemi with the chrome piece tucked in the counsel and head to the Saloon.

As I've made many mentions to, over the years, I have only one child, a daughter. But, hell, I've thrown her in dumpsters to seek out the crap that was laying all over her bedroom floor, taught hew how to swim, ride a bike, fish, kill snakes, and be confident shooting any firearm you might put in her hand.

She's almost 33 now, married with a daughter, and expecting another kid.

I feel sorry for her husband...he's a nice guy, a Turkey Hunter, family owns a TON of nice bottom-land in Southern Ms....but, I can see how she dominates him life.

It seems to me the real way to solve this is to go back to the pre 1870 legal relationship, where the law assumed the man was head of the household and granted him power accordingly.

The fact is the only marriages that hold together are the ones where the wife has a religious sense about her to restrain her, otherwise, if the women is at all secular, she soon realizes she has the whip hand.

Yes there will be exceptions, but until the legal framework is improved somewhat, I very much doubt things will get all that much better.

Take him aside, "Son, I want the best for you." Hand him a copy of Athol Kay's The Married Man Sex Life Primer." Men without confidence are ashamed to ask about something so basic they think everybody else is getting. If he learns he can be honest and you're in his corner, then you can help him with insight about leading your daughter.

@Cantostop: "Things are not as they used to be. I can't imagine it was ever this difficult to find a high quality white wife. The thought of "settling," especially on the N=0 bit, does not seem like something I could accept, however desperate I might become."

I think this is tricky. Imagine if your N=0 thing is for drinking alcohol. In our society, that's not really looked down upon, even though it has obvious deleterious effects. So do you go outside of our culture, say for example the Islamic world, and accept the downsides of dealing with a foreign culture raising your kids, or do you look around here (and likely lower your standards in other areas) until you find the rare person that fits that criteria?

Another important distinction is did they stay at N=0 because they wanted to, or reluctantly accept it because it was the right thing to do, or were they simply unable to do it? The latter implies that they would if they could, given the opportunity at some point in the future.

I would submit that compromise is necessary somewhere, and that it should be where it's not likely to be a problem. I would say someone with N=1 or 2 even, that understand now why a traditional system is better, is superior to someone at 0 who is still susceptible to brainwashing in the future.

@Cantostop: Sorry to reply again, didn't see this post before. "raising your kids - nanny, and so on. The one thing a girl had to give to a man that none of the others could give, that bound her to him, was her virginity." The latter is for sale too, just at a higher price. The former, however... A nanny can't raise your kids! Under most circumstances, nannies can't even manage to navigate the immigration system, and under the best case scenario, they can't manage to get a better major than early childhood education (the bottom tier of college grads). They'll be too stupid, likely have values antithetical to yours, and they'll have control simply due to proximity and time. If this is how you want to go, save money and just go knock up a third world girl and leave her, she'll do the rest. Or donate to a sperm bank.

If you want children raised to be civilized (in every sense of the term), you've got to do it yourself or wife someone who can. A good mother to your kids is hard to find, but that must be your goal.

We take a lot of price in having really danced at our wedding too - it was especially fun surprising my family because I had been horrible in ballet classes as a kid and they thought I was deluding myself.

The most encouraging thing I've ever read on the internet was something posted here on Mother's Day around 8 years ago (ish). Stuff like this (and that original one I read) somehow manage to be inspiring without coming across as syrupy and overdone. Thank you.

Good, I'm glad to hear it. It's impossibly tedious to constantly hear men complain about what they want to change about women. Men, fix yourselves. There are enough smart women around to inspire other women.

That's insane. If a man is strong enough to inspire a woman to follow him, it would happen naturally. Placing legal restrictions like that just lets weak, stupid men have the upper hand over a woman who would easily be smarter than him on a level playing field.

I think I'm smart enough to make decisions, and when I do, I convince other people based on the merit of my ideas. I don't start crying for a law that would make them have to obey me.

I think I'm smart enough to make decisions, and when I do, I convince other people based on the merit of my ideas. I don't start crying for a law that would make them have to obey me.

First, you're not. It's not about intelligence per se, but emotional continence and stability. Second, men don't need a law to force women to obey them. They simply need laws and divorce courts that are not stacked against them.

Women don't inspire other women. Women always follow a male lead, one way or another.

there are still good American women but the problem is that they are at the tail of the bell curve. There are few of them and that likely isn't going to change anytime soon, if at all. Women are conformist, herd animals and easy to manipulate by the Cultural Marxists. They are in the stage of doubling down on the feminist worldview, even if they don't consider themselves feminists.

How can this change? Probably will take a cataclysmic event. Maybe, it will be the disappearance of jobs thanks to AI and robots and the increasing violence as more of our replacements are hungry and unemployed. Then women may seek out strong men and want to be more feminine for them. We shall see.

Cantostop wrote:dc (and Vox, others), I've always enjoyed your posts on family, and always keen to hear more from you on it in terms of practical advice whenever you're willing.

If you had a grandson (or son) say early 30s, looking for a young high quality N=0 wife now, how would you advise him to go about it? The church?

I don't know -- a few years ago I would have been inclined to say 'yes' to the Church... Nowadays, though, I wouldn't be nearly as sure. (The absolute prevalence of "moral therapeutic deism" and/or "curchianity" undermine it.)

Especially destructive is the notion "God wants me to be happy" -- while it may be true in the sense a father wants his children to be happy, it focuses on the selfish not the selfless work of Jesus on the Cross.

Things are not as they used to be. I can't imagine it was ever this difficult to find a high quality white wife. The thought of "settling," especially on the N=0 bit, does not seem like something I could accept, however desperate I might become. I've thought maybe I'll just continue to pursue career stuff and focus on myself, and if it really has to come to it go find a girl in Eastern Europe (though I fully recognize why this could turn out terribly).

The thoughts of anyone on this subject would be most appreciated.

You are likely right in the estimation of the increased difficulty of finding a marriageable woman -- on the other hand, I've consistently and persistently failed on that front and so really can't gauge it accurately myself.

The person I replied to said he wanted to go back to 19th century household laws. If you disagree with that, you can tell him, because I already disagree with that. This is why I said fix your own gender instead of letting stupid men run wild making all of you look bad.

Your last statement sounds so final, but you couldn't possibly know. You will always be on the outside looking in on women interacting with other women, and your perceptions will always be filtered through that rather than true firsthand experience. So you don't have to believe me about what I can do, I just hope you take my advice about fixing the men who deserve no respect from anyone.

1. Date him but don't put out2. Give him some things to read3. Be nurturing & patient, but not for too long – he may not be capable of doing what you do – so keep other options open

It is not an exaggeration to say that for the right woman, if they truly fall in love, men will change everything in their life – for better or for worse – to get her to love us back. It is why marriage to goyim wives is prohibited. Look at all the stories in the Bible when a man falls in love with a woman, and adopts her religion/ideology. They match the lived experience of men in a trivially obvious way.

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