How can I ask my boyfriend to cut back on his female friends?

Our guy guru answers your most pressing sex and love questions.

May 8, 2007

My boyfriend has always had a lot of female friends, and it makes me nervous. He will go out to dinner with one of them alone or talk to them on the phone at night. I don't want to seem jealous, but I'd really like him to cut back on all of his girl time. How can I broach this with him?

Hey, I'm all in favor of men and women being friends. I think it gives you healthy insights into the opposite sex. Plus, as you can see, it keeps your partner on her toes (read: a little bit jealous), which is sometimes not such a bad thing. But your boyfriend doesn't just have one or two female friends — he has an entire entourage whom he talks to morning, noon and night. That's a bit much. I could see a guy doing all this if he were single and craving female attention. But your man has you! The trick is to lay down the law without being confrontational. Tell him that you're uncomfortable with his spending so much time with the ladies and that you'd appreciate it if he would cut down. Ask nicely; you don't want to sound accusatory or jealous. Since he has so many female friends, I imagine he's tuned in to how women think, so he should be able to read between the lines and see that his stable of fillies has become an issue for you. Hopefully, he's sensitive enough to respect your wishes.