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This page is currently under deconstructionThis page contains too many great, white, heterosexual males and not enough antiracist mathematics. Please do not edit this page if you have essentially a Issac Newtonian, mechanistic world view: if you tend to believe that reality is objective, which is to say that it exists, "out there", absolutely independent of the human observer, and of the observer’s intentions and observations, or generally have no idea what postmodernists are talking about.

Also Alan Sokal is banned from editing this page indefinitely.

“Post-mortemism seems like a better option.”

~ Alan Sokal on Postmodernism

Postmodernism was a dramatic modernisation of the postal service in France in the late 1950s and early 1960s. It consisted of several crucial technological reforms which allowed postal workers to deliver letters and parcels to larger numbers of people within shorter periods of time. The reforms also resulted in mass retrenchment, leaving former workers dissatisfied and irate. They formed a circle of postal workers including Derrida, Barthes, Foucalt and Ovid, who wrote a series of pamphlets demanding that their jobs be reinstated. These pamphlets have since then been commonly misinterpreted as theoretical and philosophical works of criticism and linguistics.

Contents

As studied today

Postmodernism provides budding high-school philosophers with enough random philosophical material to spew for several years straight. Postmodernists often like to label many forms as "Po-mo", giving rise to terms such as "po-mo literature", "po-mo art" and "po-mo erotica", not to be confused with homo-erotica.

People find postmodernist novels fragmented and difficult to follow because humanity has not developed to the proper level of understanding. Or, possibly, the novels themselves have not fully matured yet. Some critics even theorize that postmodernist books will in fact never become popular, because the future is always tomorrow, although there are those who argue that the future was in fact last Thursday, and that the critics weren't paying attention and so missed it entirely.

It has been noted that, when played at the same time as "Dark Side Of The Moon" by Pink Floyd, or "Man On the Moon" by Kid Cudi, postmodernism syncs up eerily. Recently postmodernism has fallen out of favor with authors, because they like to eat.

Key figures

Michel Foucault: Foucualt is best known for his critical studies of shopping trolleys, noting how they exert subtle power networks on their owners. In "The history of shopping trolley wheel Greece" he controversially makes a direct comparison between shopping trolleys and Adolf Hitler. "Hitler was Mort in the Greek sense of the word. Greeks bathe in olive oil and so are greased. Grease rhymes with peace and peace didn't happen when world war two broke out. Adolf hitler rhymes with the greek: trollos which means a shopping trolley. Yeah... " Naturally, Foucault became a guru to your local college professor.

Jacques Derrida: Derrida tried to deconstruct himself through his books, most of which were written on stapled together toilet paper. In his most famous critique of himself "Of me", Derrida writes: "I am not in the greek sense of the word an Ego. I differ from ego to become a sponge. Ironically, I am not a sponge." 1978 began his "deconstructive acts" period. These were performance pieces in which Derrida stabbed himself whenever he spoke. This caused outrage with the public and footage showing them gagging at the sight were later edited down to their individual pixels and reformed into a picture of Derrida editing them down to their individual pixels. His final act was cutting himself open to reveal that inside him lay a TV.

You: You are a changing external being and you are not you, so you cannot be something else but, ironically you can. So, yes... you are a key figure. We're all key figures. But ironically not.

Main arguments of postmodernists

Capitalism is evil, but it's unfair that some people have more wealth than others.

There is a sole representative of absolute truth and unity of knowledge: the30-foot singing penis sculpture at the art gallery downtown from which pure wisdom flows uninterrupted.

Western Enlightenment progress is an illusion; therefore, we should abolish capitalism and tax the rich.

Capitalism sucks.

The only way to truly understand humanity and collective action is by first understanding that it is not uniform. Second, one must continue with that rather pedestrian understanding by figuring in the complex nexus of power-engendering forms of Foucauldian genealogies coupled with a discursive shift of the modular nation-state qua sexual-(inter)sexual form inherent to the (post)-hegemonic fabric of the intrinsic, and rather self-evident, tears within the Bourdieuian poly-habititic stream (organically) in(ter)connected within the aluminum foil of a 7-Eleven burrito that is the most readily apparent, nay, the only prism of belonging within the post-global antimodern dromospheric gauntlet. Third, a swift punch to the groin is life-affirming (whether given or received).