Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wishing

I still do things like hold my breath when I go through a tunnel so I can make a wish. I'll make wishes other places too. When I see the first star at night, when I blow out candles on my birthday cake, and even every now and then when the clock says 11:11. Depending on my mood I'll wish for one of a few things: a teaching job, a good weigh-in, to live a long, happy life, etc.

I realized I wish for things that I think are out of my hands. Some of the things I wish for are more out of my control than others. I can't control how many music teaching positions are open for me to apply to. I can control some factors, but I can't really control how long I live (although I can control how happy I am).

I've been clumping my weight in with things that are mostly out of my control. Somewhere deep down I must believe that I really have no control over my weight when, in fact, the one thing that is entirely in my hands is how my weigh-in turns out. Yes, sometimes things get in the way, but I am ultimately the one responsible for my health. I need to completely accept that and I will be a better person for it.

It's time to stop wishing and start working. And if I do allow myself the occasional wish for weight loss after blowing out the candles on my birthday cake, I'd better not eat the whole damn thing.