The various manifestations of the conduct, mannerisms and pattern of living
of a group of people are called customs and etiquette. No period of human
civilization has remained devoid of them. We find them in currency in every
clan, culture and nation. Civilizations are mostly distinguished from one
another because of them. The religions revealed to the Prophets of Allah
also direct their respective believers to follow certain customs and
behavioral laws. The objective of divine religions is purification of the
soul. Consequently, these customs and behavioral laws have been chosen to
fulfill this objective. When the Prophet Muhammad (sws) was called to serve
the Almighty, all these customs and behavioral laws existed in Arabia as
practices of the Abrahamic religion. Except for a few things, the Prophet
Muhammad (sws) made no addition to them. They, obviously, existed before the
Qur’ān and their status is that of Sunan (plural of Sunnah) which were given
sanction or tacit approval by the Prophet (sws) and then transferred to the
Muslim Ummah through the consensus and practical adherence of the Companions
of the Prophet (sws). Now their source is the consensus of the Ummah and on
this very basis are accepted and acknowledged everywhere as part of Islam.
In the following paragraphs, this writer shall elaborate in detail these
customs and behavioral laws.

1. Taking Allah’s name before eating and drinking and using the right hand
for the purpose

The first of these is to express gratitude towards Allah and to invoke His
blessings and the second is to constantly remind us that those who are
bestowed with the favours of Paradise will receive their account in their
right hand on the Day of Judgement. In other words, when a true believer
uses his right hand while eating and drinking, he makes a symbolic
expression of the fact that he wants to be among the Ashābu’l-Yamīn
(companions of the right hand) on the Day of Judgement. The Prophet (sws)
has directed us to follow this Sunnah of the Prophets in the following
words:

When anyone among you is about to eat food, he should say Bismillāh. If he
forgets to say it at the beginning and [remembers it later on while eating],
he should say: ‘In the name of Allah both at the beginning and at the end’.
(Tirmadhī: No. 1513)

When anyone among you eats, he should eat with the right hand and when he
drinks, he should drink with the right hand. (Muslim: No. 2020)

2. The ceremonial salutation when people meet one another

The ceremonial salutation is a prayer of peace and well-being for one
another in this world and in the Hereafter. The one who initiates the
salutation says السلام عليكم (Al-salāmu ‘alaykum)
and the one who replies says و عليكم السلام (Wa ‘alaykumu’l-Salām).
This salutation is mentioned in the Qur’ān as well as in various Ahādīth.
While pointing out its correct etiquette, the Prophet (sws) is reported to
have said:

The young shall say salām to the old, the one who is walking shall say it to
the sitting and a small group shall say it to a large one. (Bukhārī: No.
6234)

3. The ceremonial utterances after sneezing

Sneezing relieves a person from an internal disorder. A person is required
to say الحمد لله (Al-Hamdullilāh: all gratitude is
for only Allah) after sneezing and anyone who hears him should reply by
saying يرحمك الله (Yarhamukallāh: may Allah bless
you). These words are meant to remind a believer that the blessings of Allah
in this world and in the Hereafter are specifically for people who are
grateful. According to some Ahādīth, it was initiated at the dawn of
mankind, when the spirit was blown into Adam and he woke up in this world2.
The existence of the word تشميت (Tashmīt) for
these ceremonial utterances is evidence enough that they are an age old
Sunnah which the Prophet Muhammad (sws) sanctioned and adopted for his own
Ummah also. He is reported to have said:

When anyone of you sneezes, he should say الحمد لله
(Al-Hamdullilāh) and if his brother or companion hears these words, he
should reply by saying يرحمك الله (Yarhamukallāh).
And when he says يرحمك الله (Yarhamukallāh), you
should say: May Allah guide you and keep you well. (Bukhārī, No. 6224)

4. Saying the اذان (Ādhān) in the right ear of a
new born and the اقامة (Iqāmah) in his left.

This Sunnah was initiated by the Prophet Muhammad (sws). The words of the
اذان (Ādhān) and the اقامة
(Iqāmah) adopted by the Prophet (sws) in accordance with the guidance he
received from the Almighty encompass very comprehensively the whole message
of Islam in a very concise and moving manner. A true believer is forever an
addressee of this message. All of us hear these words five times a day from
our nearby mosques. Sounding these words in the ear of a newborn is a
symbolic expression of the fact that just as his parents have transferred
their physical being to him, they have initiated the transfer of their
spiritual being to him with words that convey the basic message of Islam.

All these five things are from among the norms of decency. Large moustaches
give the impression of arrogance and conceit in a person. Edibles and drinks
become contaminated through them when they are put in the mouth. Dirt often
accumulates in elongated nails and such nails also have resemblance with
savage animals. Consequently, the Almighty has directed us to keep our
moustaches trim and to cut our nails whenever they grow. The rest of the
three directives are aimed at one’s physical cleanliness and hygiene. So
strict was the Prophet (sws) in observing these norms that for some of them
he even stipulated a certain time limit. Anas (rta) reports:

The time before which we must trim our moustache, cut our nails, shave pubic
hair, remove hair from under the armpits has been fixed as forty days.
(Muslim: No. 258)

Before the advent of Islam, Arabs usually observed these norms of decency3.
The source of these norms and practices is found in our own nature and the
Prophets of Allah have always made them a part of religion, considering the
importance they occupy in purifying and cleansing human beings – the very
objective of Islam. The Prophet (sws) is reported to have said:

Five things are from among [the norms of] human nature: circumcision,
shaving the pubes, cutting nails, removing hair under the armpits and
clipping the moustache. (Muslim: No. 257)

10. Cleaning the nostrils, the mouth and the teeth

The fondness towards cleanliness which the Prophets of Allah want to
inculcate among their followers made them to include the above mentioned
practices as an established Sunnah. In history, they are referred to as
شعائر (Sha‘āir: religious symbols) of Arabia4.
It is known from the way the Prophet (sws) did wudū (ablution) that he would
specially do مضمضه (Madmadah: to gargle in order
to clean the mouth) and استنشاق (Istinshāq: to
pour water in the nostrils to clean them). He was also very diligent in
cleaning his teeth, and is even reported to have said:

Had I not thought that this would burden my Ummah, I would have directed
them to clean their mouth before every prayer. (Muslim: No. 252)

11. Cleaning the body after urination and defecation

Cleaning
carefully the relevant body parts after defecation and urination is another
Abrahamic practice5. Depending
upon the circumstances, these parts can be cleaned by water, mud cubes or
other things that can serve the purpose. It is apparent from various Ahādīth
that the Prophet (sws) normally used water for this. Abū Hurayrah (sws)
reports:

When the Prophet would go out to relieve himself, I would bring some water
in a utensil or a water container. He would clean himself from this water
and then rub his hands on the mud to clean them. (Abū Dā’ūd: No. 45)

12. Abstention from sexual relations during the menstrual cycle and the
puerperal discharge

All divine religions prohibit sexual relations when the wife is passing
through these states. Pre-Islamic Arabia also upheld this prohibition. Their
poetry reflects this. There was no difference of opinion in this regard.
However, great extremes existed in the limits of abstention during these
states. So when people inquired about them, the Qur’ān explained the
Sharī‘ah regarding this issue in the following words:

They ask you concerning
women’s courses. Tell them: They are an impurity. So keep away from women in
their courses and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they
have purified themselves approach them in the manner the Almighty has
directed you [in your instincts] -- for Allah loves those who constantly
repent and keep themselves clean. (2:222)

The extent to which one should abstain from one’s wife during this period is
explained in the subsequent part of the verse: ‘So keep away from women in
their courses and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they
have purified themselves approach them in the manner the Almighty has
directed you [in your instincts]. Indeed Allah loves those who repent and
those who observe cleanliness’. It is evident from these words that this
abstention relates to sexual intercourse only. It does not imply that a
woman has become untouchable in this period, as is the belief found in some
religions. The Āhādīth also bear witness to this explanation as does the
practice of the Prophet (sws).

In this verse, two words have been used: طهر (Tuhr)
and تطهر (Tatahhurr). While the former means ‘the
completion of the state of impurity and discontinuation of menstrual
bleeding’ the latter implies ‘a woman entering the state of purity after
having the ceremonial bath’. According to the verse, a woman should be in a
state of purity for sexual intercourse; simultaneously, it is delineated
that when a woman enters the state of purity, the husband can go near her.
It is evident from these words that since the real reason that prohibits
sexual intercourse is blood. So once this stops, the prohibition no longer
remains. However, the proper conduct in this regard is that a husband should
approach his wife for sexual relations once she has had the ceremonial bath.

The essence of the words Tawbah and Tatahhurr is that while the former
implies cleansing one’s self from inner impurities, the latter implies
cleansing one’s self from outer ones. Viewed from this angle, the essence of
both is the same and both these characteristics of a believer are very dear
to the Almighty. On the other hand, the Almighty is displeased with those
who are devoid of these. Moreover, it is evident from the context of the
verse that those who do not abstain from copulation during this period or
exceed bounds to satisfy their sexual urge are disliked by the Almighty.
Various Āhādīth also mention this.

The ceremonial bath has also remained a Sunnah of the Prophets. The first of
these has been explained earlier. As soon as the menstrual bleeding ceases,
a woman must have this bath to enter the state of purity. After Janābah
also, the Almighty has directed believers to go through the ceremonial bath,
particularly before the prayer in the following words:

Believers approach not the prayer when you are in a drunken state until you
are able to understand what you say nor when you are in a state of sexual
impurity (Janābah) till you have taken a bath except if you only intend to
just pass the prayer place. (4:43)

In Sūrah Mā’idah, this directive is stated in similar words (If you are in a
state of Janābah, have a bath. (5:6)). By Janābah is meant the state of
impurity that one enters after copulation or after a seminal/ovular
discharge whether or not copulation has taken place. The ceremonial bath is
necessary after this state in order to be purified. One should have this
bath in a thorough and complete manner. The Qur’ānic words
اطهروا (Ittaharū) and اغتسلوا
(Ightasilū) testify to this. The way the Prophet (sws) set about following
this directive, as mentioned in various Āhadīth, can be summarized as:

First the hands should be washed; then the genital area should be thoroughly
cleaned by the left hand; then Wudū should be done except that feet should
be washed later at the end; then while inserting the fingers in the hair,
water should be soaked into it so that it reaches its roots; then water
should be poured all over the body. In the end, the feet should be washed.

Following are the Āhadīth that have reached us in this regard from Ā’ishah (rta)
and Maymūnah (rta), the blessed mothers of the believers:

Ā’ishah reports that when the Prophet would have the ceremonial bath after
Janābah, he would first wash both hands. Then he would clean his genital
area by the left hand after pouring water on it by the right one. Then he
would do Wudū the same way as Wudū is done for the prayer. He would then
take some water and insert his fingers in his hair until the water reached
the skin. He would then pour three handfuls of water on his head. He would
then drench all his body with water and then wash both feet. (Muslim: No.
316)

My aunt Maymūnah [once] told me: ‘I placed some water [in a utensil] before
the Prophet (sws) so that he could have the ceremonial bath of Janābah. He
first washed both his hands two or three times. Then he slid his hand in the
utensil and poured some water over his private area and washed it with his
left hand. He then thoroughly rubbed this hand on the ground and did Wudū
the way it is done before the prayer. He then took three handfuls of water
and poured them on his head. Then he washed all his body. He then stepped
aside and washed both his feet’. (Muslim: No. 317)

15. Bathing a dead body

Bathing a dead body is also from among the Sunan of the Prophets.8
The directive stands fulfilled if water is poured all over the body.
However, keeping in view the importance of purification and cleanliness in
Islam, the spirit of the directive is that the body should be bathed with
diligence and thoroughness.

The
directives regarding bathing a dead body which the Prophet once gave are:

Bathe this girl odd number of times: three or five or seven times and begin
with her right side and from the limbs by which wudū is done. (Bukhārī: No.
1254)

16. Enshrouding a dead body in coffin cloth

Enshrouding the dead body in coffin cloth after giving it a bath is also an
Abrahamic Sunnah. Though one single piece of cloth can be used for this
purpose, however, to show due respect to the dead body something better
seems befitting. Ā’ishah (rta) narrates that the Prophet (sws) was enwrapped
in three Yamanī sheets which had no shirt or turban (‘amāmah). She says:

Any one among you who enshrouds your dead brother in a coffin cloth should
do it befittingly. (Muslim: No. 943)

17. Burial

Another practice among the Prophets of Allah is burying the dead in a grave
-- the final resting place.9 No
specific way has been fixed for this. A ditch can be made by digging the
earth and then covering it or a cavity can be made adjacent to a dug out
ditch or the dead body many be buried in a coffin casket. All these ways can
be adopted. However, the Prophet (sws) did not approve of cementing a grave
or building some structure over it or writing something on it.10
It has been reported in some Ahādīth that at the time of burial, the Prophet
(sws) sprinkled clay from the head side of the body three times.11
While placing the body in the grave, the following words have also been
reported from the Prophet (sws):وعلى سنة رسول الله بسم
الله12. Another Hadīth
says that the Prophet (sws) urged others also to say these words.13
The following prayer for the dead after burial is ascribed to him in this
regard:14

Pray for the forgiveness of your brother and beseech the Almighty to make
him steadfast because now he would be called to account. (Abū Dā’ūd: No.
3221)

18. ‘Īdu’l-Fitr; 19. ‘Īdu’l-Adhā

Both these festivals were originated by the Prophet (sws) at the behest of
the Almighty. Before the advent of Islam in Arabia, we find mention of Īd
festivals as يوم السبع (Yawmu’l Sab‘) and
يوم السباب (Yawmu’l-Sabāb) and some others among
the Idolaters of Arabia. The Sharī‘ah of the Israelites had ‘Īd festivals as
well but as is evident from the Old Testament and other scriptures, these
festivals related more to commemorating certain days of their history. In
the last Sharī‘ah also, the Almighty fixed the above mentioned two ‘Īd
festivals for man and associated them with two great manifestations of piety
and submission to the Almighty. The ‘Īdu’l-Fitr is observed on the first of
Shawwāl right after the end of the holy month of Ramadān in which the
believers undergo a period of fasting for the purpose of attaining piety.
Similarly, the ‘Īdu’l-Adha is celebrated on the 10th of Dhu’l-Hajj to
commemorate the sacrifice offered by Abraham (sws) – something which depicts
the spirit of submitting to the Almighty in the ultimate form.

It is evident from certain Ahādīth that these festivals originated in
Madīnah after migration. Anas (rta) reports:

When the Prophet arrived [in Madīnah], he found people celebrating two
specific days in which they used to entertain themselves by playing and
merriment. He asked them about the nature of these festivities at which they
replied that these days were occasions of fun and recreation of the days of
Jāhilliyah. At this, the Prophet remarked that the Almighty has fixed two
days [of festivity] for you which are better than these: ‘Īdu’l-Fitr and
‘Īdu’l-Adha.# (Abū Dā’ūd: No. 1134)

A Muslim is required to give Sadqah i Fitr before the ‘Īdu’l-Fitr prayer.
This is a day’s meals that every young or adult person is required to give.
In the days of the Prophet (sws) it was given in the form of grains and
cereals. So the Prophet (sws) had fixed its quantity as one
صاع (Sā‘)which is equivalent to 2.5 kg:

The Prophet (sws) has made it obligatory upon every Muslim to pay Sadqah i
Fitr. The quantity fixed for this is one Sā‘ of dates or one Sā‘ of wheat
and every person whether he is a freeman or slave, man or woman, young or
adult is required to pay it before he leaves his house for the‘Īdu’l-Fitr
prayer. (Bukhāri:, No. 1503)

According to Ibn Abbās16, the
Prophet (sws) imposed the Sadqah i Fitr to cleanse one’s fasts from lewd and
loose talk that one might have indulged in during fasting and to provide
ration for the poor on this festive occasion. As far as the details of the
prayer and the sermon are concerned, they will be dealt in an appropriated
chapter17 of this treatise.

The directive to say Takbīrs is given in the general sense: no words have
been prescribed by the Sharī‘ah and it is to be said in the same days in
which pilgrims offer sacrifice and reside in Minā. After the 10th of Dhu’l-Hajj
these are also considered among the days of ‘Īd.

Both these festivals of ‘Īdu’l-Fitr and ‘Īdu’l-Adhā are occasions of showing
gratitude to the Creator and remembering Him as well as are a means of
entertainment. Ā’ishah (rta), the mother of the believers, narrates that
when on one ‘Īd day her father Abū Bakr stopped young girls from singing,
the Prophet (sws) is reported to have said:

8. In normal circumstances, every
dead person must be given a bath. However, in extraordinary circumstances
in which bathing a dead body and putting it in a coffin cloth becomes a
matter of great difficulty, then the body can be buried without bathing
it and putting it in a coffin cloth. It is narrated in Bukhārī (No.
1346) that the Prophet (sws) directed Muslims to bury the martyrs of the
battle of Uhud in this manner. This incident has been narrated in other
books of Hadīth also. Our jurists associate such a burial with martyrdom
only. However, in the opinion of this writer, this is a general
exception which is based on the principle of relief (rukhsah) that is
always kept in consideration in the various directives of Islam.

9. This way is to be adopted in
normal circumstances. So if a person dies on a ship and the shore is far
off, the only option left is to cast the body in the surrounding water.