Friday, February 14, 2014

Lovers in a Dangerous Time

I have been seeing a very interesting, and encouraging pattern emerge
in society over the last year, it’s quite subtle at first, so maybe some of you
haven’t noticed it just yet, but you will.
In fact you may even become part of this pattern yourself whether that
is your intention or not.

This pattern has to do with how people are reacting to the increasing
chaos in the world around them. At a
time when the power elite are doing all they can to disintegrate our connection
to each other, people are seeking shelter in the sensual; and each other, more
than ever before. The collective
unconscious knows what a powerful force love is, and increasingly people are
moving in that direction, as if Love is all that can save us now.

My first real indication of this pattern came last year after I posted
a little article on Twin Flame Soulmates. In less than three days that post became the
#1 most popular on my blog, and continues to be the most frequently viewed, on almost a daily basis. That says something about
what folks deem important in these tumultuous times, and it has voice! Just consider the sheer number of people who use one or more of the
many internet romance sites. It’s a
growing trend which could well turn into a stampede; because humans are
hardwired to pull together in times of trouble; and trouble is brewing.

Now, anyone who is experienced with romantic relationships
automatically knows what to expect, and therefore also knows it’s not something
entered into lightly, or with undignified intentions. More than a few have leaped before they
looked only to discover that when small talk leads to pillow talk, the
emotional wildfire can often lead to emotional bloodletting. Because relationships depend upon honest communication,
trust, and compromise just for starters, they are not automatically a
safe harbor from the howling winds of change beyond our front door.

Of course, the very nature of romantic relationships has been turned on
its head in recent years, as men have been encouraged to connect with
their feminine side, and women have been learning the difference between
assertiveness and aggression.
Stay-at-home dads are now as common as wives in the workplace and
latch-key children. All of the old
stereotypes of the past have been tossed out the window, and we are better off
because of it.

The old saying is that two can live as cheap as one…but for half as
long, and it kinda sums up what folks in a relationship are up against these
days; when often two incomes still isn’t enough to keep the vulture from the
door. Finances and fidelity are probably
the leading threat to romantic relationships, especially in the beginning. Then there’s all that baggage men & women
always bring with them from past relationships; emotional & psychological
landmines abound, proceed with caution.
The point here is simply that if folks are now seeking the solace and
sensuality of romantic relationships as a shelter from the storm, it must be
getting pretty bad out there.

The worse things become beyond our front door, the more we begin to
really value the truly important aspects of being alive in these times, and
that invariably leads us to one another.
Many of us are seeking to strengthen our connections with each other,
reaching out to like-minded souls; which in turn strengthens the collective
unconscious of humanity. We’re all connected
you know, by this invisible web of consciousness, and that is the
nebulous pull we feel toward another, or all of human kind. The best part is that it works whether we believe
or not; with or without our individual awareness!

We see those who actively pursue love without ever finding it, just as
we see those who patiently wait for love to find them; waiting perhaps a
lifetime in some cases. Love has a mind
of its own, independent from human feeling and desire; and it will sneak up on
you when least expected, or prepared. Love
is impervious to time, as it can strike instantly when two people meet, or take
decades to develop as they come to know more of each other. We see those who consistently pick partners
who abuse and exploit them, because they don’t believe they deserve better:
just as we see those with the perfect relationship, who always need to have
another validation from outside the relationship.

Love is magical in the way it can lead us to reshape old attitudes into
new awareness; how it can make each breath a celebration of life! The ‘price’ we pay for love is the vulnerability
it demands of us; for to truly feel the raw power of love, we must surrender
ourselves to it, trusting the process totally.
We must silence the demons of distrust born from past encounters, and
leave ourselves vulnerable to be hurt yet again. We must stop condemning our emotional future
due to the pain from the past, just because we don’t want our heart broken
again.

I think it’s all just a part of this spiritual evolution we’re
experiencing because the more corrupt and materialistic society becomes, the
more folks are turned off by all things fraudulent. All this greed, death, war business has
people everywhere re-evaluating their priorities in life; and realizing that
people are more important than profit, and as they are finding this out, they’re
finding each other. It’s ironic, really,
when you think that everything the power elite are doing to fragment and
dissolve our connection to each other is having the exact opposite effect!

There is of course something else driving this push toward the sensual
and love at this point in history; and that is the Fukushima Factor. Nothing quite fires up the human reproductive
urge like the smell of extinction in the air!
By this time; whether they admit it or not, most people around the world
realize that nothing is being done to stop the on-going disaster in
Japan, and that the planet is becoming irradiated. Humans come equipped with a built-in directive
to go forth and multiply; to ensure the survival of the species, and right now
that directive is in overdrive, it’s an instinct we must subconsciously
follow, to which the planets population, and divorce rate can attest.

This instinct for mating has been hijacked of course by the advertising
industry which exploits & triggers our natural subconscious desires in
order to sell more products. Like they
say, “Sex sells!” In these commercials, men are told that if they drink this
beer and drive that truck, than a bevy of beautiful sexy women will jump out of
their cooler; while the message to women is quite different. In commercials women are told that they’re
too old, too fat, and have bad skin, all of which can be remedied by cosmetic
products, and perhaps a touch of surgery for those small breasts. It’s no wonder society has become what it is
today with such subliminal propaganda polluting the airwaves every day. It has been going on for so long that most of
us have learned to ignore it, maybe the time has come to just outlaw such
practices which predate upon our deepest urges with subliminal messages. If profit is the only thing that comes from
such devious things, then we should just chuck it out the window and have done
with the whole sorry lot!

It just makes sense that people are seeking their soulmates in these
draconian times; that silent instinctual urge can be damned hard to ignore when
everything, including the future is on the line. I think it’s kinda like the old school bell
ringing which heralded the end of playtime, and a return to serious
matters. Yes, I think a whole lot of
people around the planet are hearing that call, and answering it. Wouldn't it be wonderful if everything being
done to diminish and demolish us as spiritual beings actually had the opposite
effect?!

Another thing that makes sense is coming together to merge and
diversify resources in these days of dark uncertainty. Increasingly, as we learn to accept people
without judging them, and to honor the spark of spirit within each other, the
"nuclear family” is being replaced by the extended family. It boils down to simple mathematics: the more
you embrace the differences in each other, the more tolerant you are of others –
the more emotional, romantic options are available to you.

Love is out there on the wind people, it’s everywhere, and showing
itself more every day. Now I’m not
saying you should drop everything to become some kind of love junkie,
not at all. What I am saying here is
that in these chaotic and decidedly dark times, love just seems to keep
bubbling up to the surface despite all efforts to squash it; and that’s why it’s
called the most powerful force in the verse! So, if love should saunter up to you
unexpectedly and tap you on the shoulder some sunny day; the proper response is
to banish your fears, ignore your emotional scar tissue, and embrace it with an
open, trusting heart. Ready or not.

11 comments:

Interesting article, the underlying truth is that there is something going on in relationships among young people. I have two daughters. Both are quite beautiful [without prejudice]. Neither has been able to connect with a permanent mate. The youngest daughter is 18. She has not been able to develop a lasting relationship. One may argue that is normal at 18. However, my oldest daughter who is 31. She has yet to find that special man. Is this a global trend? Instinctively, I believe it is indeed. Though "Love" may be the natural port during a storm as the article supports; it appears that genuine love is elusive at best. I am not talking about finally finding a permanent mate; I am suggesting that "Love" itself has escaped the reach of humankind. The two types of love I am not referring to is felio or eros, namely affections and lust. No, I am contending that the "Love" Agape is becoming extinct. There is no shortages of felio [affection] or eros [lust], however the sacrifice and charity based love is a rare commodity in these perilous times. In addition, young couples have failed to be taught the dynamics and principles that make a relationship prosper. Who reading this comment can tell me the human behavioral characteristics that builds a good relationship and marriage? Go ahead name them for me. You see you can't. There is an old saying, "My people perish for lack of understanding." Ignorance may be what the world suffers from these days. Is ignorance the only culprit? Maybe not. It seems as though there are unseen forces at work causing the hearts of women and men to grow cold. As for my daughters, they were both taught the proper human dynamics that makes for a successful relationship but they keep meeting men who have not learned how the game works and thus the relationships are unequally yoked from the get go. Failure is the eventual outcome. They both have tried the bar seen. That never worked. They both have sought a mate in their respective faiths. That hasn't worked either, not because the their faith based system failed. Those relationships failed because they either failed to behave in the manner prescribed by their faiths or by "True Love." Or, their perspective mate failed to be willing to live a "True Love" based life. May I repeat the question? Who reading this comment can recite the characteristics that make a love [charity/sacrifice] prosper? Go ahead I am waiting. You see there's the problem. Whenever I ask a young girl who has just connected with a new boyfriend why she likes him her first response is amazingly consistent: He's funny. A good sense of humor adds spice to the relationship, but ladies that ain't going to cut it. The truth is you don't have a clue do you? Good day.

Anony @ 5:28 AM~I think your insight and observations have a good deal of merit, and truth to them. I think part of this may be explained by the current generation not wanting to repeat the mistakes they saw our generation make. Additionally, I wonder if perhaps the whole idea of love & relationship has been replaced with a totally different perspective and set of values. The young people of today (as a whole) do not seem overly impressed with the turd filled toilet of a world they stand to inherit once we have passed on; so perhaps they are cutting new roads we don't get to travel, roads which may well toss out entirely, the previous way of relationshipping.

The question you pose to readers is a great pop quiz. I have some input, but will wait to see who else joins in the conversation. Going by the divorce rate alone, I conjure a great many of us do not know the answer to your question, lamentably. Peaceful Blessings

Hmmm,Ignorance got to be a first hand culprit, as you say. Young folks know a lot today in many fields but not the ones that are essential to grow solid relationships. Too many morality premices are today so blurred that teens go ahead in a general fog, as if the english smog has wrapped up the whole world ...The main moral claim nowadays are "rights" but, if you look back a mere hundred years back, everyone did talk of "duty". Today, duty equals army, what a pity !I don't believe in looking back but nothing will save us if we don't understand what was, and that is not history of past events but history of how man did understand the world before our (post) industrial age. I believe the best way to learn about that is to read the 19th century authors such as Dickens, Cooper, Scott and even London, for the english ones but the french ones might be even better like Eugene Sue, Jules Mary, Soulié, Féval, Capendu, Dumas, Richebourg, Assolant ... We today no more write or read and the world vision we have is so much restricted that we're not able to have a vision of time, past, present and future.

Wonderful article, Chautauqua, thank you. My immediate response to Anon @5:28, and it's been said many times before, but what is imperative is that each and every one of us must love ourselves first, totally, unconditionally, and without reservation. We must go through our good, our bad, our ugly and deal with it, because until we do, we continue to attract traits in others that are mirror reflections of ourselves. Once having cleared our own defence mechanisms, we then, and I'm not kidding, sit down and start a list of what we need and want in a partner. This list must be detailed to the max and may take some time to complete as it, too, will bring up the questions that must be answered, "Is this really what I want, and why?" I speak from experience. Then put the list away and continue with living and loving yourself. When you meet someone, check your list. Not on your list, it won't surface later, but I can guarantee that it gets easier and it's worth it. Check yourself out first, before checking out others!

I, too, am looking forward to comments here and will write again, but for now wanted to respond to Anon @ 5:28. Love, Althea

Althea~ You have indeed hit upon one of the key concepts; much better results are achieved by attracting a mate, rather than pursuing one. Take that list you make of attributes your ideal mate must have; then set about making sure you possess those same attributes & qualities. Do that, and you will be as a lighthouse at midnight to prospective partners.

Ah....Chautauqua! In this I am blessed, I live with my twin flame, have for over twenty years. When we met I had my four year old daughter with as her mother asked a stranger for a date. Not a socially acceptable practice at the time. I didn't remember her being there, she reminded me when I told someone who asked how we met. Guess I was distracted? Trust has been "a thing" the Hub works away for months at a time. Took him a bit to understand me, me being a bright light, I don't give "air" hugs, you want a hug you gonna feel it. But I am alone alot, my alone is alone, nearest town is 80 something miles away. I do well alone, I like me. But maybe that has helped this work so good. A Relationship is work, neither of us are lazy. Compassion, I like how children, and animals, react to him, especially cats. Dogs love me, they will bound up and lean on me for lovin'. Actually all animals like me, he came home from town once, he lost at paper, scissor, rock. I was sittin' on the porch swing with one of my Rhody-hens drinking a beer, gently pulling her feathers. He said you are a weird woman! But I sure got a nice kiss. Sometimes I have to doctor animals, will catch him later lovin' on em, telling them they will be ok. His G-ma was gettin' on, Christian woman, "I'm so old, can't hear, can't see, I just want to see Him" The Hub kissed her on her head and told her she had nothing to worry about, she had never done anything to be scared about. She passed soon after. He has cried when he has had to "put" an animal "down." Together we have created alot of beauty, of course had to tear down, clean out some nasty habitats, but when done. Nice!!!! Public displays of affection....I like how he doesn't mind, nothing like the top image on this post, but holding hands, hugs, kissing the side of my head. Humor, dear Anon, may not cut it, but it keeps the petty away. You can divert some potentially nasty arguments with it. Thanks, Chautauqua, one of my fav songs, reminded me of my parents love, they listened to Mr. Cockburn's music alot.

Hi Asherie~ I think it's true in life that we should like ourselves, elsewise how can we ever expect someone else to like us enough to put up with our stuff. If we aren't comfortable in our own skin, others can sense it in any one of a number of ways. Indeed relationships are a lot of work; anything less and all you really have is a mutual use & abuse contract, which unfortunately all too many settle for. This "ship" of relations cannot be steered by only one of those involved, unless ending up on the rocks is your aim. The helm of this ship requires that both parties navigate the path as equals, as two sovereign spiritual souls who desire to share some time, or else it just doesn't work at all, yes, a lot of work!

Thank you for sharing a slice of your journey with us here, it keeps that old collective unconscious network shiny bright. It certainly seems you both have a great handle on things. It has been said that the hardest thing for two people to do is live together in a balanced healthy relationship; sounds about right! Peaceful Blessings

Much to think on, and a timely piece. I see a few glimpses of myself here and there, catching myself nodding in recognition and remembrance. :)

In the way of my people, I will often speak in oblique terms, leaving the hearer to read between the lines to divine some meaning. It is simply our way. Thus I respectfully pray, here and elsewhere, that we remember that there are those among the awakening who march to a different drummer. Howsoever unexpected, unusual or different they may appear on the outside, these allies are often peaceful, mostly genuine, aspiring toward authenticity, hurting no one, but desiring to bring light, assistance, understanding and compassion to their communities. Oftentimes throughout history, such as these are met with incomprehension, indifference, scorn, or even attack. But allies they are indeed, and we do well to include all who sincerely desire to raise the collective vibration and attend the shift of the Ages. For as the Teacher taught us, we are all one body.

Let Love increase!

Bowing with much respect to you, Chautauqua, and thanking you for your presence here.

Aho Anony@ 4:09 PM~In the way of my people who sometimes speak thru the obscure quotes of great souls real or imaginary, I say "If you immediately know that the flame is fire; then the meal was cooked a long time ago."

Eye see You, and thus the Heyoka within salutes the spark of spirit illuminated in your words.Nameste and humble gratitude.