Such a sad tale of revenge. I'm glad you touched on the fact this would be a hard hunt for the boys. The bad guy is human... which makes this such a different hunt for them. I look forward to reading the conclusion.

Scary- creepy stuff. The monster is horrible and it almost got Sam. Interesting turn of events with Sam's powers back online. I'm glad you brought up the past rawhide hunt... that must have weighed heavy on Sam when they took this hunt. :0)

I have really enjoyed the virtual season, I know a lot of hard work has been put into it. This episode is creepy especially since the kids name is my name. The plot makes this another great start to an episode... but I did notice a couple of things that you guys might want to be aware of...

You have Bobby say- Kids going missing in Arizona. You're close, and being that it's kids involved, it's worth a look at.

But a few paragraphs down it changes from Arizona when Bobby says-

Westlake, Ohio. And you two be careful.

So you might want to change the Arizona part.

There are a few typos-

Sam sighted in frustration

And they all knew that year hadn't been any better with the costant fear

Yep, definiely too much like last year,

Besides those things... a great strong start- can't wait to read more. :0)

"Some of these yuppie moms would do it in a heartbeat for their precious little angels" Okay, so, that line put this really weird image in my head of a woman in a really expensive business suit, brief case in one hand, the other hand holding a leash that's attached to the really freaky looking monster.

I know that's random, but... I guess this is what happens after studying too much (excuse).

"Dean stuffed the last of his sandwich into his mouth and gave Sam a pat on the back as he stood up, using the opportunity to wipe his greasy fingers on Sam’s shirt." I've done that to people I know... which I guess makes me a dick...

“Say it,” Dean said, opening the Impala’s door. “Say who’s the most awesome big brother and the greatest hunter in the world combined.” That sounds like Dean.

It's well written as well, although you did miss some spelling errors (Dean loked aroundlooked; but everyone who knows her knows better then that than not then) But it happens to everyone (like, I do it too).