Our not so great experience of Miami

Hi all and welcome back to Tm-Dancer! By now I suppose you can guess that I enjoy blogging about my recent honeymoon. Sometimes as I sit here in work, with the rain battering against the window it seems like a fond distance memory. But then I always have my beloved photos to remind me of better times and I have this blog to motivate me to keep working my ass off so that someday this blog may be my work and not just a hobby.

So Miami was the part of the honeymoon that Gary was looking forward to the most. For months leading up to the wedding and our trip of a lifetime he would muse about the days we would spend on Miami beach, on South beach, the bike trips we would take along the coast and the cocktails we would sip by the pool in our beautiful 4 star hotel.

Well our trip to Miami didn’t unfold much like this at all. It began with us driving down from Orlando and arriving quite late to news from the receptionist in our hotel that there was no room for us and that we had to spend a night in a hotel across the road. This ended up being pretty good as we were put up in a much fancier hotel for the night! After trekking across the road in the pouring rain with the bellboy from our original hotel trying to control all of our luggage while we just tried aimlessly to stay somewhat dry we finally got to our room in the second hotel and it was spectacular. A massive bathroom with a rainforest shower and robes to relax in after our glorious shower. A super king bed and a 42inch flat screen tv. It was a glorious evening.

The next morning as we peaked out the through the blackout curtains we were greeted with the sight of more rain. As you can guess rain had quite a bit to do with our vacation in Miami. So after packing up and getting dressed we ran back over to our original hotel to check if our room was ready. On our way back to the second hotel to collect our luggage the heavens decided to open again. The rain came down so fast and heavy that our entire feet we in puddles as we stood at the pedestrian crossing waiting for the lights to permit us to cross the road. Royally peeved at this point we grabbed our luggage and headed straight back out into the rain and across the road which resembled a flowing river at this point. Finally as we neared the entrance of the hotel the concierge spotted us coming and came to help us with our luggage. By the time we got to our room (which on the bright side was upgraded to a suite) we looked liked drowned rats and nothing would satisfy us only jumping straight in the shower to wash that horrendous morning off us.

We lay on our bed looking out onto the skyline of hotels in front of us and the view of Miami Beach peaking out between hotels, willing the rain to go away so we could finally get out and explore the area we were looking forward to visiting. No such luck! By nightfall we were so fed up with the rain we decided that if we can’t beat it we may as well join it. So we donned our swimsuits and our robes and headed for the pool. We managed to get 2 sun loungers which sheltered from the rain by an umbrella and we jumped straight into the pool. It felt amazing swimming in the cool water with the rain pelting down onto us. A few frozen margaritas later and the rain didn’t seem to faze us. The hot tub was calling then. Drinks in hand we lowered ourselves into the steaming hot tub. The sensations of the piping hot water of the hot tub, the cold rain lashing down on our shoulders and the inebriation from the alcohol all contributed to an unexpected good night! It may not have been what we were imagining Miami to be but when life hands you lemons you just have to make lemonade.

Hopeful for sunshine we awoke early the following morning! Still no sunshine so we watched some Netflix and relaxed after breakfast. We discovered a Señor Frogs across the road so we nipped across during a lull in the rain! Drinks, nachos, arcade games and balloon hats! Fun was had finally!

I had had enough of lazing around the hotel and I decided that we were doing a tour the following day; rain, hail or shine. So unfortunately it was still rain for the tour. But we dressed in our sun clothes as we had nothing else with us but we packed towels and spare clothes in our backpack and we went off to get our bus. Our first stop was the Florida Everglades. We were fortunate that the rain took recess for the duration of our airboat ride through the Everglades. We even saw an alligator and a baby alligator swimming so close to our boat that you could have touched them. It was surreal and a once in a lifetime experience. Another item ticked off our bucket list.

After the airboat ride we went to a presentation on the Everglades! The guy talking to us was witty, funny and very knowledgable and passionate about the Everglades! He held a baby crocodile and a baby alligator and showed us the difference between the 2 animals!

After that he pulled an alligator into the sand pitt with him and did some demonstrations with the alligator showing us how the alligator can only see to the side and that if you are in front of the alligator he will not be able to see you movements! He also said that if it was a crocodile he would not be in the cage with him! The two animals have completely different temperaments.

Heading back into Downtown Miami, the weather was still looking promising. Until we got a prime seat on the top deck of the open top bus that was. We passed a few iconic Miami sights, of which I can’t remember one as the rain belted us so hard that our faces hurt. Not only were we being pelted with rain, because Miami had seen more rain than they usually do this time of year, the trees overhanging the road were lower than normal which meant that we were being hit with branches on the head as well as the rain. Every so often the tour guide on the microphone would say “Duck”, referring to us unfortunates on the top deck and the looming trees. Sometimes she would forget and someone would get a branch on the back of the head or if they were really unlucky to the face. Many a curse word could be heard from the top deck of this bus. You would think that we would just go inside, but the wasn’t an option as it was full already and you were not permitted to stand on the bus. Those downstairs were not fairing much better as every time we turned a corner the river that was running under the feet of the people upstairs would flood down the staircase and splash out all over the people in the ‘sheltered’ seats downstairs.

After what felt like an eternity, we made our first stop in Little Havana, a beautiful area of Miami. I’m not sure if I was ever so grateful to get off a bus. We went into the nearest bar (which happened to be doing a special on margaritas) and tried to dry off. Every stitch of clothing we had with us was drenched. Needless to say we did not get back on that bus. We took full advantage of the 2 for 1 margarita deal and got an uber back to Miami beach.

We happened to be in Miami for the infamous Mc Gregor vs. Mayweather fight and being Irish we were excited to go out and watch the fight. We headed down to get food on Ocean Drive. We got overpriced food and our waiter tried to sell us $32 cocktails each. When we refused the cocktails he lost all interest in serving us, muttering “I thought the Irish liked a drink”, as he skulked off. Needless to say he cut his tip in half. Next we stopped into a bar that was ranked high on TripAdvisor where we bought slushy cocktails. 30 minutes after drinking them we both felt desperately sick. An uber could barely get us back to our hotel in time to get to the bathroom of our suite. We were both up all night getting sick and we missed the fight.

So our trip to Miami was not what we expected and there are many things that we didn’t see. But if nothing else we got a good story out of the trip. I don’t think that if I was writing fiction I could have written a story this good about a place that many see as paradise. Although it was Gary’s idea to go to Miami, I did have a real excitement about seeing this place that I had heard so much about and had seen so much of in movies, programmes and reality tv. I will go back someday and hopefully have the vacation we had fantasised about. For now we have this crazy, hilarious, disappointing memory of this fantastic city.

I hope I gave you a giggle with this post. I was pondering for ages how best to write this post and in the end I decided honesty is the best policy. For more from Tm-Dancer check out my Instagram @tm_dancer89