A lot of my life choices have been reckless and spontaneous. As I get older and work toward my goals, the reckless behavior continues

Relationships, ponytails… Don’t Force it

This blog is inspired from this image that I keep seeing on social media:

This image has inspired me, because I know that as young adults we tend to try and force things to happen all the time. From jobs, relationship, getting our own places, graduating, etc., things will not happen if the timing is not right. Like I have heard in church multiple times,”Our time is not God’s time.” God knows everything that will happen in our lives and if we try to force something, it won’t work out.

I am known for trying to force things. Being a Capricorn, I am impatient. I want the world at 23 and I know that it is not possible, but I still try. I have a good life and I am grateful, but not satisfied. Everyday I ask myself questions like; Why don’t you have your own place? Why is your car from 2005? Why don’t you have a good job now that you have a degree? I drive myself crazy asking myself these questions. Being a perfectionist like I am, no matter what I accomplish, I will always want more. More money, more freedom, more opportunities… But this image and the people around me have made me come to my senses, and I want you to come to yours. Be thankful for what you have accomplished thus far. Do not compare yourselves to others or chase things and people that are not worth having. To further prove my point, I have decided to break down categories of where I have tried to force things to happen. I hope someone can relate:

Relationships

I have had five “serious” relationships in my life and looking back on them, I realize that I was not compatible with any of those people. So why did I date them? I dated them, because I thought maybe this one will work out… I’ll just try it. All my exes are different and have nothing in common. I dated different types of people thinking that maybe I just didn’t know what I like. However, I knew what I liked, just never found it, so I settled. At this point, I am definitely going to stop wasting my time with people when I know it’s only temporary. No more forcing relationships.

Also, I have certain friends who never ever contact me, but I go out of my way to hit them up. Why? Clearly I am not on their mind, so why should I hit them up and ask how they are doing? Relationships rather they are romantic or platonic should be mutual at all times. No one should be putting in more effort than the other. Therefore, I have cut people off like I mentioned in previous blogs.

Jobs

Another thing people force is jobs. When I say forcing jobs, I mean people will stay at jobs because they pay well, but they will be miserable. I would honestly rather people be broke or be paid less than be at a job they hate. A friend of mine suffers from depression. She was working a well paying job, but would go home everyday and cry, because she hated it so much. Eventually she quit this job, and now she is so much happier.

This goes to show that working at a job should not be forced. Yes getting paid well is important, but your well being and dignity are more important. Being a workaholic, I have stayed at many jobs because of the pay. I have been disrespected by bosses and still stuck it out. However, if I could go back I would of let those jobs go a lot sooner, because the emotional toll wasn’t worth it.

Graduating

This goes out to all the people in a rush to graduate. My cousin took 18 units as a freshman in order to graduate sooner and she ended up failing a class, because it was too much. Now her GPA is ruined and she has to retake the class. Consider all factors when making decisions, because honestly there is no rush. Her plan to get ahead ended up being a set back, so people still in school take that into consideration when being crazy trying to work two jobs, join 2 orgs and force two majors and a minor into 4 years (and nobody finishes in 4 years FYI.)

Wanting to Move Out

Like I tell everyone who wants to move badly, appreciate staying at home. Working and living at home is the best, because you save so much money. It is better than getting a small apartment you are struggling to afford. Also, I think it is super embarrassing to move out and then be struggling so bad you have to move back home. I will never do that, therefore I am staying home until I feel stable enough to leave for good. In reality, with all jobs combined I probably could afford my own place.However, I don’t want a PROBABLY I want to be able to say I ABSOLUTELY can afford it. Until you get to that point, just stay home. It will be worth it when you realize how much money you will save.

Buying a Car

I see this ALL THE TIME. Someone will save up some money, buy a bucket and then struggle when the car breaks down. Saving up to buy a decent car is sooo much smarter than buying a very cheap car that will probably break down or have problems which equals more money. I bought a car for $900 in high school using my KFC money. My car happened to last me, because an old couple had it prior to me so there was like no wear and tear and very low mileage. I got lucky, but for others I would recommend sticking to public transportation (it’s cheaper in theory) or sticking to your current car if getting a new car is up for debate. We will all be able to afford luxury cars in time… that day is just not today.

I also don’t recommend leasing or purchasing a car on a whim. Make sure you can afford the payments so you do not have to struggle or get your car repossessed which will destroy your credit.

Overall, people just live your lives and let things happen naturally. Do not force things to happen or try to go against what is meant to be. Everything happens for a reason so if someone wants to leave your life, let them… if you are not happy at a job or in a situation / relationship leave… and if you want a new car, to graduate or your own place be patient. Everything will fall into place when the time is right. Goodnight everyone! I have work in the morning lol. Just needed to get this off my chest and let everyone know that starting today (Tuesday, October 18th) I will be following my own advice and going with the flow. Wish me luck:)