Super Important Edit: We mistakenly told you folks this show was tonight when, actually, the show is next week, Monday the 12th. The official reason that'll be in our apologetic press release is that the mistake is due to a horrible bout of depression following last night's American football contest.

We plan on keeping this post up anyway though, if only to preserve the fantastic comment from "Anonymous Asshole" as a historical record of the first time we've been called "dickbags".

But this isn't just some out-of-the-way smoke-filled, gum-under-the-seats, smelly-fat-guy-sitting-way-too-close-to-you type of place. This is Tiger Lily Restaurant which is, according to its website:

Perfect for romantic dinners, special events, night out with friends, single mingles or speed dating parties.

Gentlemen: Take your girl -- or girls, if you only do threesomes -- out and show what a classy fella you are. When you're there, you can point out the "neo-modern design" and the "amber lit bar" before you tell her how "the room is ravished with dark mahogany stripes, high ceilings and lucious sky lights" giving the dining room an "old Shanghai look from the 1920s". With phrasing like that, sex is no longer question, but an inevitability.

Ladies: Don't believe their sophisticated ramblings about the venue's decor. They're just trying to get in your pants.