Welcome back to Unknown Origins, the fic that tries and tries but never succeeds. And…screw it, let’s just get through the prologue. There’s not a lot left to throw at me.

Oh, and uh. *reads notes* Dr. Mitchell is a worse doctor than I initially thought, it’s highly plausible this takes place in a post apocalyptic universe with all your favorite cartoon characters, and the AJB is still around saving the world.

Howdy, all! Welcome back to Unknown Origins. In case you forgot, last week we covered that someone doesn’t know what a final fuck you is, Angie doesn’t know the difference between Fallout and Vanilla Ice, and this fic covers such a wide variety of genres it’s shocking we haven’t crossed into the historical music category.

Hey, I’m Angie. And…after I got in touch with Cyberweasel on Fanfiction, she informed me that she liked my riffs and was wondering if I was willing to review what she considered to be her worst. So I went onto the Suggestion Box page. Scrolled to the bottom. And I clicked on the link.

…

*takes a shaky breath in* I also read the reviews. “The character has a severe case of Mary Sue, anime influenced or not.” “I stopped reading after the 1st scene. Way to unbelievable for me. Way to different than I remember from the game.” “Instead, she comes off as a two-dimensional, annoying idiot.”

…

I don’t want to read this. I really don’t. I don’t know shit about Fallout. I shouldn’t have to read this.

Hello, and welcome back to A New Metal Cyborg Trio!, by bopdog111! I’m your host, SC, and I finally got sick of the running gag!

When we last left off, Raiden and Captain Dumbass became buddies, which didn’t fly with Madison and Wolf, who proceeded to engage in battle with the two. Wolf did admirably, despite failing miserably, whereas Madison was a whole heaping mess of uselessness.

So, I tried getting into contact with Scarlet and his team, since Cobalt and Bear couldn’t have told me no any clearer if they screamed it through a megaphone at me. I suppose I should have seen it coming, but Scarlet also said no. I didn’t want to risk talking to either of Dole’s right-hand men, or even Dole, himself, and I technically already involved Solaris in the riff, via Roy, so that left me with one other major faction who I touched upon but, as of yet, haven’t really given the spotlight to: The Aegis Vanguard, Solaris’ archnemesis and a frequent thorn in Guardian PMC’s side.

My guests this week are, surprisingly, the men in charge of the Aegis Vanguard – as busy as they are, I can’t fathom how they found the time to join me for a riff.