Crazy how some mornings you’re just surfing the Internet, checking out what’s going on here and there, having already decided that it was kind of a slow news day when BAM! You stumble upon the STORY OF THE CENTURY! Enjoy those last sips of coffee right now you guys, because after you get a load of this things will never be the same. Who even knows what coffee will taste like!! From Page Six:

Rumors are rife on the “Gossip Girl” set that Blake Lively could be expecting her first child. The blond beauty, back at work in New York after her secret Sept. 9 wedding to Ryan Reynolds, is “glowing,” say spies, but also is eating more than normal.

One spy said, “Blake is usually really careful about what she eats, but since her wedding, she seems to be eating a lot more. Everyone on set is on bump-watch.”

A rep for Blake rep didn’t respond to e-mails last night.

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! (Maybe.) (I hope, for your sake, that that’s true.) Since she got married last week, Blake Lively, a beautiful stranger, has possibly been eating a little bit more than what an on-set source has deemed “normal” and may or may not be pregnant. IS THE ROOM SPINNING FOR ANYONE ELSE? Is the room spinning or are we all just spinning? Who else is spinning? Ahhh! I just can’t control myself right now!

Holy shit, I mean I don’t feel bad for Blake Lively because she probably has a great life and knows better than to google herself and read everything everyone says, but – spies? Everyone you work with is a potential spy? Who is doing visual calorie counts of your fucking lunch? And reporting it to gossip rags? And then gossip rags are emailing your reps about your lunch? Yikes! Enjoy your sandwiches in good health, lady.

Whoever popularized the term “bump” as related to pregnancy should be lashed together into a human raft along with people who have loud personal conversations on their cellphones while on public transit, the entire governing board of Fox News, men who wear large pinkie rings, and Dina Lohan, and they should all be set adrift in the Pacific. Shia LaBeouf can sit on top and man the tiller.

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