(This is a note from the Sponsor’s – this entry was lost in the mail and showed up just now in April , 2012, so though Jake has been released, we wanted to add this entry for you. Thank you)

I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). Wednesday was another day of awaiting our news from our ERP social worker Ms. Grey that our paperwork from our judges has been signed which will allow our parole officers to release us. Absolutely no news or anybody except ERP group member Dean Stark. Stark’s paperwork was the first to be returned. While that is good news and I was happy for him, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. I had targeted as my hopeful release date as Monday, June 20th, but it didn’t appear that was going to happen now. My disappointment deepened a bit more when ERP group member Scott Dietz again contacted his sister and again she looked online on CCAP and found nothing on any of us indicating any activity on our cases. I went back to my cell and told cellie Larry Sands any hope for my release by June 20th was pretty much dead. Then about ten minutes to four Ms. Grey had returned to the dayroom and informed me my paperwork had been signed and returned by my judge five minutes before! She also told me she sent an email to PO, Helen Gaither, letting her know she could complete the final step to release me by sending the C-15 form anytime. Of course my mood did a complete reversal. Everyone in my cell know what I’d been told and they congratulated me among others in the dayroom. Of course, there were the typical people wanting to get my canteen that I had a left over. With it being Wednesday and canteen day, I was going to have quite a bit. But I’ve already decided I’m taking most if not all of it with me. I paid for it, I don’t want to deal with the begging and once I get to the house in WI, I’ll have no idea what the food situation is there. Charles and Victoria Martin, my adoptive parents, won’t be there full time until after Charles retirement on July 17th from his church in Marquette, MI. Besides I might need something to eat at the bus station while I await a ride from one of this blog’s sponsors. I should have a check for my release funds and account but I have no way of knowing how to cash that. I also will have the boxes with my stuff so I won’t be able to walk too far from them without my stuff being stolen. The bottom line is yes, a lot can go wrong but I just don’t think it will and even if it does its still going to work out. In theory, I could be release at any moment now but I actually think it will be Friday or possibly Monday, as I originally thought. I’m just so very happy the wheels are in motion and grateful this long but necessary nightmare is coming to an end.

My name is Jake Martin and I am on parole from the state of Wisconsin Prison System (WPS) currently now living in Ames, Iowa. I write this from my own laptop in an efficiency apartment at a complex dominated by Iowa State University college students. How did I get here? More on that in a minute.

At the risk of sounding corny but what a LONG, STRANGE trip it has been both being in prison and since getting out. The day I was released it was Wednesday June 23rd. Today is January 16th, 2012. In the roughly 7 months since my release so much has happened. I spent July through August largely glued to my cell phone and laptop while hunting for work, with the assistance of friends and the sponsors of this blog.. My parents grew concerned enough to tell me I might have to take work at a fast food operation or something similar. I had no problem with that. In fact I figured that was what would happen. While all this was going on my parents, whom my father is a minister though he retired in July, received a retirement call to serve a church in Juneau, Alaska. My PO, Helen Gaither, it turned out was very cool to me. Though the walks from the bus to her in Appleton WI were not! Because I had no car and often my parents weren’t available it was necessary to walk. But that’s ok. It just didn’t bother me. These things just don’t bother me anymore.

In about August, my efforts finally began to pay off. A major corporation hired me as a temporary software developer for a project they were working on through an agency I had worked with before and was unaware that I had been in prison the last 25 months. During that time I brushed the rust off my skills, got used to the grind that a software developer will have again and learned to deal with people again. About that time, a company based in Ames IA interviewed me for a position as a software engineer. They hired me. However I was given enough time to finish the contract I had started in with this company in Neenah WI. My parents were still in Alaska when I left in October. Needless to say I was excited and petrified all at the same time. I was fortunate on one aspect regarding work. I had largely lost the last two years and in technology circles that is as much as a lifetime. But this company was on older technology, technology I was well suited for. It was a perfect fit. Meanwhile I continue to upgrade my skills now. But anyway on October 8th I made the move. My first weekend didn’t go well. Furniture I had purchased for the apartment prior to my arrival had accidentally been tossed my a maintenance worker for the complex, as well as two tires going flat. Oh yes, my parents had sold me their old car and I had also managed to get insurance and a license during that time. But needless to say, I got things under control and my employer was extremely understanding as I missed my first day of work getting the car fixed. Things were pretty normal until about a month ago when weight loss and the familiar night sweats had returned – all symptoms I have become very familiar with. Testing revealed that my cancer had returned. Now before you become too concerned, just know, again I am going to be fine. I am doing chemotherapy again. But this time at least, I can control my diet though fatigue and nausea are now my main problems. See though I have insurance they don’t cover preexisting conditions unless you had proof of insurance before which of course I did not have in WPS. So medications I used for nausea and such are not covered either. But it is ok. It’s the same type of cancer as before and because they caught it earlier this time it is even more assured I will be fine. So don’t worry!

But what can I say about being free? My first day out my sponsors took me to a Mexican restaurant where I had chicken and steak fajitas. My mouth and stomach were on fire as they loved what I ate – but they didn’t so much later as they rebellled against the rich food I was not used to. I will spare you the details. Television, the Green Bay Packers and dear friends I have missed. All of it really is about choices of which we had very little in prison.

I still deal with the anxieity junkie. I still am largely alone or at least it looks that way. I am still single. My previous family contacts me to be sure but it is usually only when one of them is in trouble or needs money. My adopted siblings and family remain an awkward relationship. But yet I count myself as one of the lucky ones, one who found a way to be successful on release. I call it luck because things fell together in a way that I can’t really take credit for. Yes it is God and there are others to thank. Friends like Jennifer, Natalie, Mike, Bill, and Rebecca I couldn’t have done it without them. I owe them more than I have life left to repay. I simply can say no more than I am gratefully free. It has been so long and such a hard road, much of it self inflicted, that I can’t bring myself to complain. What right do I have to have such a good life? The answer is I do have that right as long as I do not forfeit that right with my choices I make in life.

I want to take this opportunity to also thank those of you who faithfully followed this blog, especially Jill, Karen, Kelly and Lori. You really kept me looking forward to mail call and such wondering what might be there today. Again, so grateful. How many others wait for even one piece of mail in prison only never to get any! And the rest of you, since my release I have watched your reaction from afar, really wanting to burst out and say hey its me! I’m free! But we all thought it best I keep a low profile until the entries were finished. I hope you understand. That said the future of this blog will be sporadic entries regarding what is happening with me and how it relates to being on parole. I am not going to do an entry every day. There just isn’t time like I used to have. But know this. If any of you want to reach out to me please feel free. I have always felt a closeness to many of you who suffered with your loved ones in prison right along with me.

On that note, its time to close. I have got some studying to do! Talk to you soon….

I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). Thursday started off with high hopes that the day would end with me being a free man, sleeping in a bed of my own after having eaten real food. As you may have guessed, it didn’t happen. Nothing of significance happened again until the afternoon, when our ERP social worker Ms. Grey dropped by. She told Dean Stark he was being picked up tomorrow (Friday). No word for me or anybody else though. I asked her about the email she said she had sent to my parole officer (PO), Helen Gaither and she needed to be prompted until she remembered. She didn’t answer whether or not the email had been answered just saying that “my paperwork is not back yet!” She just isn’t very forthcoming with information, almost as she seems to enjoy seeing us squirm while waiting for information. But that wasn’t all the bad news. The blog sponsor who is to pick me up at the bus station will be unable to pick me up this coming Monday due to work requirements. As much as I don’t want anything to delay my departure I asked my sponsor to contact my PO and let Ms. Gaither know I wouldn’t have a ride on Monday. I also asked to find out if Ms. Gaither got the email from Ms. Grey. My confidence in Ms. Grey continued to be shaken as she handed out a piece of paper wanting to know what the address we were going to be released to was. It seems no one could be released without that information in the system. I had asked about this last week but she indicated she didn’t know how MSDF would get this info. But this should have been done weeks ago. Since today was Thursday, it was Community Meeting day. Though we have graduated, we are still required to attend though none of us participated. They were breaking in a new meeting leader so it was a bit chaotic. One thing of interest was they are changing the ERP program schedule. Now starting at 8 am groups will start and somehow all the groups will spend at least an hour a day in the smelly rec room that our group has used for a group room for the last 6 months. That was quite interesting to my group. But all of this uncertainty with release has me in a foul mood. I think its anxiety finding its voice or crankiness. I try to keep reminding myself that its almost over and that they have to let me go at some point. It’s just not easy to do.

I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). I ran out of space in the last entry to tell you something else that happened. Perhaps you recall me telling you about the guy who came in some time ago that was extremely medicated and everyone gave him a hard time. Anyway, apparently he struggled so much with the written assignments that the man who is this groups social worker, Mr. Silver, finally pulled the plug and terminated him from the ERP program. Silver has a reputation for running the most difficult program here, giving the most work and is known as extremely dedicated. I didn’t think the guy who got kicked out would last as long as he did. It is ironic that a man with mental illness that he can’t help and that he is being treated for with medication can’t make it here yet so many that have come here for this ERP program clearly don’t belong here make it. This isn’t the fault of the staff here or MSDF but is a reflection of the money based culture of rehabilitation and how it relates to mental illness. But I’ll stay off my soap box. Again, it was incredibly warm Friday (June 3rd). Nothing much of anything happened until second shift arrived and when our old friend guard Mike Metcalf reported for duty. He started off quiet but quickly showed his true colors as he gave warnings to inmates for having fingernails that were too long, how their shirts looked and so forth. It’s just as well. The new guys got their introduction to what this guy is about and will hopefully steer clear, as those of us who have been here awhile do. Another sign I’m mentally checking out of here is how it relates to food. I’m not interested in accumulating food, even with the good stuff like the cupcakes we got with the fish. I don’t want to make deals with others. I’m not the only one. ERP group member John Lloyd tells everyone he just wants to be left alone by everybody and he’s getting more and more vocal about it every day. It stayed extremely hot in here through Saturday. Our group continues to distract themselves with cards and ping pong games despite how hot it is in the dayroom and rec room. The rec room doesn’t have any air movement at all. At least the dayroom as 2 large fans to blow the hot humid air around. The rec room, which will double as our ERP group room next week, has the 2 exercise bikes and 2 weight machines so all these hot sweaty bodies plus no air movement makes for a pretty onerous smell. Also, the shower procedure put in place by guard Art Coleman isn’t being followed by the other guards. Though we like that it’s going to create this guessing game when we should follow that procedure. Sunday came and finally a bit of cool down before sweltering temps are expected to return next week. Cellie Larry Sands got a visit by his brother and was happy his release clothes will be sent tomorrow. Release clothes are exactly what they sound like. The clothes got send to MSDF staff no more than 60 days before your release which you get to wear out the door. In my case, I’m just going to wear my sweats I got off the catalog. The blog sponsor getting me is bringing my clothes they got from Waukesha County Jail after I was transferred to prison. Those were the same clothes I wore 758 days ago when this whole thing began though I doubt the pants still fit! But at least the shoes will be in better shape than the ones I got off the catalog. I finished the day by reaching out to Barb via letter about the situation with Lexi. I want to put my best foot forward with her despite our past relationship. I’m hoping to get more information about what happened. It’s all I can do from this cell to positively impact this situation so I’m doing it. Believe me I know it’s not enough but I’m trying. Tomorrow (Monday) our ERP social worker Ms. Grey will be back and this will be our final week of the ERP program. It’s almost over!

I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). After the events of Thursday morning, I was determined to stay out of it. It also became apparent cellie Malcolm Johnson had had quite a bit more going on than I had known. He had been fortunate enough to get real coffee (caffeinated) in here past the contraband inspectors when he first arrived at MSDF. (Caffeinated coffee is considered contraband at MSDF). He, in turn, is selling the coffee bit by bit to inmates or using it to trade for extra food at meals. A couple of problems arise in situations like this. First, it creates a lot of traffic, coming and going to our cell door, which guards notice and makes them want to shake you down. Second, inevitably arguments will arise between Johnson and the buyers over the terms agreed to. This creates ill will between them. It’s different than a regular prison here though. No one will fight over it as people here are trying to get released and fighting is a sure fire way to get kicked out of ERP. I’m not entirely sure about Johnson in this regard. There is another inmate with the opposite problem. Ty Beck, who is in the ERP group that started with my cellie Jose Michaels and Johnson, got himself into a huge amount of debt by borrowing canteen from everyone and had promised his account funds would have arrived here by now. They hadn’t and everyone he owes is unhappy. To top it all off, the guard who took over for Ruth Barthowski two weeks ago, Art Coleman, decided to implement a shower sign up list instead of the shower procedure we had been using. So there’s more turmoil than usual. Cellie Larry Sands and I are happy though. In 8 days after we graduate ERP, we can shower during the day and not worry about this. All the little turmoil and games here we seek separation through Sands tends to get sucked in by Johnson at times. That morning I awaited the call from the court holding the hearing concerning my daughter, Lexi. They never made contact so I don’t know what happened at the hearing. Some suggested Ms. Presley really didn’t try but I don’t think that’s true. But I’ve got to figure out what my next move with this will be. We had our weekly community meeting, which was unremarkable. Johnson provided another glaring example of his lack of consideration for others that night. Its usually understood that when you change your clothes for whatever reason its done quickly. You never actually get nude in front of your cellies. But when I returned from brushing my teeth when I opened the door there he was right at the entrance to the door as nude as can be. I immediately shut the door and waited. No apology came when he emerged, he just mumbled about trying to get to the washer. I’m glad I won’t be here with him long. I entertained myself that night with the thrilling game 2 of the NBA Finals which the Dallas Mavericks won along with the thoughts of real food, privacy, and if the sound of silence will be the same as it used to when I get out, which by the way, is about 18 days away.

I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). Wednesday typically has little activity but today was an exception. At 9 am 2 Milwaukee County parole officers (PO) paid a visit to our ERP unit for an orientation to what to expect upon release. They both were female, heavyset, one was black and the other white. They let us know that they were designated to work specifically with ERP offenders. All offenders would be on GPS monitoring or bracelets that monitor alcohol use or possibly both. Curfew is 8 pm and aftercare is required throughout the time you are on supervision. They might talk to other family members or friends and neighbors about what it is you are doing if they have questions about it. This of course drew howls of protests from the inmates. One after another stood up complaining they hadn’t been told about this when they signed up at their PRC hearing how unfair it is to stand on them like this, how they have no faith in this program and other really asinine comments. About this time, my ERP social worker Ms. Grey had me go with her for my third and final PO call. My PO, Helen Gaither, is from the Outagamie County office so things will be a bit different. Once we got her on the phone it got to the point really quick. The only question I had was where the PO Office was located and what to do if I got released too late in the day to get there during business hours. That answer was to come in the next business day. She also indicated as soon as the amended judgment of conviction came, sometime after completing the program on June 10th and Ms. Grey sends the C15 to Ms. Gaither she will within one business day, unless it is Thursdays when she does home visits, fax the release order back. If she gets it Thursday, I’ll be stuck here until the following Monday. The call concluded and Ms. Grey made the comment that she didn’t seem friendly at all. I thought to myself I don’t care if she’s friendly as long as she is fair. But Ms. Grey said it with a smile on her face, like she thought this was a good thing. The PO orientation wrapped up just as we were leaving. A short while later, Ms. Grey brought the graduation project program sample printout to me. She had altered the 3 dimensional effect I had achieved with the letters of the word Transformer and the bumble bee transformer image. In so doing, the layers slipped below the printout line. She walked away before I could say anything. I just don’t care, but the others I showed it to did. But she won’t be back until June 3rd so even if she lets me fix it there may not be time before graduation. But on a more happy note. I splurged a bit on canteen this week. I ordered salsa which when applied to food makes food much more tolerable. Perhaps too my taste buds have been lulled to sleep for so long by prison food it doesn’t know what to do with salsa! But it was good. We’ve got 16 days left until graduation and hopefully a soon exit afterwards.

I’m at the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility (MSDF), an institution in the Wisconsin Prison System (WPS), participating in the Earned Release Program (ERP). This past weekend was marked by arguments and in fighting amongst inmates over stupid things. Most of it of course involved Scott Dietz, revolving around rec room issues. I’ve just noticed the courtesy between inmates in the laundry procedure and the order for showers is breaking down. People skipping each other to use laundry or the shower causes friction. I got to talk to Charles and Victoria Martin, my adoptive parents this weekend. They’re going to send the glasses I sent away at Dodge Correctional Institution (DCI) to the sponsor of this blog who is picking me up. They also will have cable which means I’ll be able to have internet access which is critical for my job search and getting up to speed on the technology and software I’ve missed the last two years. Speaking of which, Sunday, May 8th marked the 2 year date of my incarceration. Sixteen of those months this blog has run. Not an anniversary I look at fondly but assured I won’t forget it. But I’ve been talking like it’s a foregone conclusion that I’m going to graduate June 10th. Not if I keep acting the way I did Monday. Now the last graduating class has a high number of guys who are busying themselves by starting trouble, including former swamper and cellie Malik Pearl joined by one of his cellies. They took aim at me because on occasion I don’t wear a hat (not a hairnet mind you but a paper hat) when serving food as a swamper. There is not rule that I’m aware of that says I have to and I’ve told you previously, I shave my head, so there’s really not a need. But they started yelling at me to wear a hat. I was visibly angered. I put it on and asked them if they were happy now. Afterwards, it was time to start our ERP group. Our ERP social worker Ms. Grey took us through the entire Living With Others workbook that day. In the middle of the morning we observed through the window to the dayroom that the guards on 1st shift had been joined by several others. They began to shakedown every single cell even taking the extra clothing the inmates had acquired which usually is ignored. Group got interrupted several times as we observed them taking things out of the cells critical to our graduation project. At the end of the morning session, I went out to clean tables and put out napkins to get ready for lunch service. I came right back and didn’t touch anything else an inmate egged on by Pearl’s cellie, demanded I change my gloves. I refused. This was just harassment. We exchanged words across the dayroom. My reaction was so out of character for me. Lunch got served. We had Swiss Rolls, which are a pretty hot item around here. I observed that same inmate shoving some down his shirt to smuggle them to his cell. I asked him if he wanted me to play this game he had started. He quickly got back to his cell. I wasn’t going to tell but I was mad! Afterwards, I was told Pearl and his cellie were going to try to get me fired as a swamper. Initially, I didn’t care. I don’t need the extra food and who needs this aggravation? But after I calmed down, I remembered why I took this job to begin with. I went to the inmate who took issue with the gloves and apologized for my reaction. But more importantly, what is going on with me? Is it just a simple chase of the “shirts”, where inmates near release get irritable and melancholy? Whatever it is, I resolved to get a hole of myself and stay in today instead of thinking about my release in June. We turned in our goals and objectives for Phase 3 in the afternoon session. She approved them on the spot and told us to have our presentations ready for the following Monday (May 16th). Mine are ironically, to improve my social skills here and being more patient. Clearly, these goals are appropriate and necessary.