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Just a few questions so I can start working your case. Are you being fed at all? Do I understand correctly that you are forced to go outside when the weather is at its worst? ... Do you have cell phones?

Oh, the horrors of our diet! You have NO idea. We NEVER get steak, or hamburgers or hot dogs. Sometimes our dad sneaks us a piece of cheese, but we are so weak with hunger by then that we can barely drag our bodies across the floor to take it! We have to eat hard, dry kibble ... all day, every day. It's horrible. Once in a while, in bright light, if we suck our bellies in REALLY hard, you might actually catch a glimpse of a rib!

And OH! The weather ... let me tell you what! It SNOWS here. Snow! Can you believe it! And she expects us to actually STEP in that stuff! No way, no how. We pee on the floor, you better believe it! Not happening! She thinks putting coats on us is going to change that? Ha!!

Please call us at 1-800-ABOOSED as soon as possible. If we are not too weak or cold to crawl to the phone, that is!

Sincerely,

Iggy, Gia and Rocky
The Martyred Ones

"We give dogs the time we can spare, the space we can spare and the love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made" - M. Facklam

"We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams."- P.S. Beagle

"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king." - J.R.R. Tolkien