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Phoenix: bird that cycles through season of death and rebirth. In my case about every 7 years...like clockwork.

Polaris: name of the North star by which sailors would navigate the oceans searching for new worlds or home.

This blog represents my own journey as a bird of war and healing searching my own soul and sailing through spiritual winds on the oceans of experience, enlightenment, and epic adventure. Within these pages will be messages written on prison walls, mysteries written in the sand, and messages of hope, longing, and lostness in a bottle.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I painted something black at the house, told the kids to stay away, and my youngest walked in it and got it everywhere. Then I yelled at them, and then walked to the other side and leaned against more black paint and got it on me. Her guilt foot-print is found above [they had all claimed innocence]

the cats urinated on something again, and the other can of paint I needed I couldn't find...then found it...and it was dried out

and the guy who was supposed to fix something hasn't come by, and won't answer his cell phone

The kids spilled cereal all over something I had just painted with oil based enamel...and I have no idea how to clean it up

I'd kick the dog, but he hasn't done anything wrong

So I am going to read some Psalms and listen to David Crowder till I get my head on straight again.

an aside

I was reading a blog of an Iraqi teenager in Baghdad last night for about 2 hours. It was heartbreaking. I wrote her an e-mail telling her how sorry I was and that I was praying for her. Given the pitiful smallness of my trials this entry now seems so...small.

I suppose that is the thing that helps with frustration. Perspective. Having been reminded by the Spirit of her plight...my problems now seem microscopic.

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comments:

I painted something black at the house, told the kids to stay away, and my youngest walked in it and got it everywhere. Then I yelled at them, and then walked to the other side and leaned against more black paint and got it on me. Her guilt foot-print is found above [they had all claimed innocence]

fixed it

the cats urinated on something again, and the other can of paint I needed I couldn't find...then found it...and it was dried out

febreeze

and the guy who was supposed to fix something hasn't come by, and won't answer his cell phone

he came

The kids spilled cereal all over something I had just painted with oil based enamel...and I have no idea how to clean it up

Pastor...reading Yancey, changing, strengthened, treating people that I see with Jesus compassion..work in a busy ER...expect attacks...the night is always ...always darkest before the morning....please know your coming is already making a difference.....war....trauma...gives us the GIFT to see and feel beyond the daily, wearing but not fatal or soul crushing events....we still are so human...and I believe Jesus weeps..rejoices...and is so ever present in every event of our life.From the teenager in Baghdad(can't imagine it as I have a teenager son)...to the simple life of an Ashland mother....he intercedes for us....I can not think of anything more important and encouraging then that.

Life IS a matter of perspective. So why so often do I perceive myself as being in the bottom of a well looking up for help.. for hope! The prayer I first remember seeing on my grandmother's kitchen wall says it to me - concluding with 'give me the wisdom to know what I can change'. Accepting the pain - oxymoronic yet key to growth. Stepping back from the instance - key to perspective and ... perspective - key to hope and courage which.. gives us the momentum to accept the pain.