The anonymous creator, brains and author behind Tiffany/Amber/Megan/Nicole shares why she started Seriously, So Blessed, the highly popular Mormon mommy blog spoof. She speaks candidly about how she responds to Mormon culture as an author and as a member, and why humor is such a powerful tool for helping us look at ourselves in an honest light.

September 2010

What was your motivation to start “Seriously, so Blessed!”?

I started the blog on a bit of a whim, just as a joke with a few specific friends in mind who I knew would enjoy it. A few summers ago, I stumbled on some personal blogs (you know, “friends of friends of friends” and such) that were just so unbelievable to me. Some recurring themes became pretty obvious. As I laughed, the thought occurred to me that it might be fun to try to make my own. So I threw together a stereotypical post, wrote a stereotypical profile, and sent it to a few friends for a laugh. It was a fun creative writing exercise to try to get the tone exactly right (“We have non-stop fun all the time and are LOVING married life!”). It was definitely a joke that just snowballed. Part of what is so bizarre and awesome about the Internet is that random junk takes off with no warning.

Where do you find your inspiration for posts?

Inspiration is all over the place. I keep expecting to run out of ideas, and then I look around and think, “That will never happen!” I’m a lifelong member of the LDS Church and have always been a part of the culture but simultaneously a participant and observer. I’m a people watcher by nature so I feel like I’ve always enjoyed noting little idiosyncrasies or patterns of behavior. A lot comes from my own life experience. I jot down ideas everywhere and then piece them together for posts. For example, last year, a waitress asked me if I was in the mood for “Eye-talian food,” and I instantly reached for a pen and thought, “How has TAMN not said ‘eye-talian’ yet??” I also read a lot of personal blogs, and readers are constantly sending me blogs for fodder. (What’s weird is that it’s always their sister-in-law’s blog. People are constantly sending me their in-laws’ blogs. Isn’t that funny? It’s never their sister or their cousin or their aunt. It is ALWAYS their sister-in-law.) So yes, I cull material from all over, and it’s pretty fun.

Of course I don’t think all Mormon women are like TAMN. In fact, I’d say most Mormon women are wonderfully far from TAMN. I know and respect tons of smart, capable, thoughtful, sharp, strong, non-materialistic, substantive, self-aware, kind, righteous, talented women who are nothing like TAMN. Except maybe with their Diet Coke addictions and their love of reality TV. But you get my point.

Is there a tendency for LDS women to hold themselves to an impossibly high standard or feel pressure to conform?

In any highly homogeneous culture we all feel pressure to be and look and think and act a certain way. Many Mormon women are hard on themselves because they’re good and want to be good and in our culture we do a lot of self-reflection and introspection on how we can improve. Part of being a member of the Church and part of being a person of faith and a follower of Christ is always thinking of how you can get better. With a lot of young American Mormon women that quest can get out of hand quickly. You start to think you need to be absolutely perfect in every area. You need to be having nonstop fun all the time, your marriage needs to be perfect, your kids need to be perfect, and you need to have to have pictures of every activity. I get emails from readers saying that there’s this unattainable standard that they see people around them portraying (or seeming to portray) and that the blog helps them realize that nobody’s perfect and it sounds ridiculous if you make things seem perfect all the time.

Part of being a member of the Church and part of being a person of faith and a follower of Christ is always thinking of how you can get better. With a lot of young American Mormon women that quest can get out of hand quickly.

That’s what’s been fun for me about writing SSB is that there are lots of serious things that weigh on women’s minds that are not on TAMN’s mind at all. For example, in one post TAMN and her husband were in Washington DC just for the summer. She introduced herself to the bishop and said that she wouldn’t have time for any callings unless they were really visible. So she could be president of something, but if she needed to be on a committee she wouldn’t have time because she had the twins. TAMN doesn’t value important things, but rather places a lot of value on what she can be seen doing or what she can brag about doing.

Are there any topic or issues you won’t poke fun at?

There are lots of things I don’t mock. There are no jokes at the expense of any gospel principles, the temple, the importance of marriage, basic Christlike attributes, or what TAMN sincerely wants for her kids. Actual Church stuff is on the periphery of a lot of the humor. It’s not a “Church” blog; it’s just a young, talkative, ridiculous mom. Whenever I get hate mail about how I’ve crossed the line or am making the Church look ridiculous, I always laugh and think, “There are lots of lines I could be crossing that I don’t.” I just know so many young moms who are so good and who are trying so hard. Not young moms exclusively, but it’s a set you see blogging most often. It’s a thankless stage of life and I appreciate that often they seem to be the ones laughing the hardest.

Why do you think people sometimes have difficulty distinguishing doctrine versus culture?

Numbers and things are more visible and easier to measure. I don’t know that you can measure, “Today I was full of charity – check!” the way you can measure, “I always look fantastic,” or “I was back to my pre-baby weight five weeks after the delivery.” It’s easier to shop at the right stores or see that your blog has the right design or gets so many comments. They provide validation or pat on the back. There are lots of ways that we can hope that we’re successful or feel that we’re successful, but that’s not as visible as when you see someone with a new model of car, or living vicariously through their husband’s fancy job, or whatever it might be. TAMN is more wrapped up in it because she feels more competition with her friends since they are into comparing husbands or outranking each other. Not even themselves, but just what their husbands do. It’s an added pressure when women compare not just themselves, but what other people are doing that somehow reflects on them.

How do you view the role of humor in LDS culture and specifically among LDS women?

Humor is vital. We definitely have a tendency to take ourselves way too seriously. Again, that stems from a really sweet sincerity, of people who are trying hard to be good and who always want to be better. But in our quest for improvement we often forget to laugh, which is easy to do, since we’re so busy. But laughter is important to your sanity and to your health. Marjorie Hinckley said, “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer laughing. Crying gives me a headache.” I agree.

How would you advise women to stay true to themselves? How have you done it?

Part of it is recognizing what is important to you and what’s not. If it’s important to you and worth your time, go for it, and if it’s not, leave it alone. I don’t do my hair every day, I don’t spend that much time on it, and I don’t feel bad about it. That’s kind of a shallow example, but I’ve noticed that me being comfortable with myself gives other people permission to be normal too. I’ve found a lot of kindred spirits that way. With the blog, I’ve been amazed at how many people I feel really close to that find the same things funny as I do. I would have never known how much we have in common or just how much we click if I hadn’t made the joke to start with. You can find lots of substantive things to bond over besides superficial things. For me, it’s important to just recognize what you enjoy, embrace it, and shrug off the rest.

Do you see blogs as a blessing or a curse?

Both. Blogs are a blessing in that they are a great way to stay connected with other grownups, to help stave off feelings of isolation that are common in moms with small kids and to feel part of a circle of support or friendship. Blogs are a people-watcher’s dream because they give you a fun peek into people everyday lives. But they are a thinking person’s nightmare, because it’s so easy to compare your real self with someone else’s fake self. They’re a curse because they’re like a nonstop Christmas letter, a daily update where you see every polished detail about someone’s life. If people read enough personal blogs they can really end up with a complex.

How much time per day do you devote to blogging, between research and writing?

It’s tough to gauge. I really enjoy it and think about it throughout the day, as I’m looking for different ideas. But there are entire days where I don’t have any time and others when I do a lot of catch up. There’s no specific time set aside to work on it. I should be more structured, but I have a hundred balls in the air that I’m juggling and the blog is just one of them.

At certain points I have more creative energy, depending on what’s going on in my personal or family life that particular week or month. Sometimes I feel like I can’t even capture all the ideas and other times I feel like it’s a little bit of a chore. Overall, it’s an incredibly fun creative writing exercise. I use different brain muscles that I do in anything else in my life. The feedback is a joy, the positive and negative responses are always funny, and it’s a real treat to have an audience for the stupid things going on in my head and to try to tweak things to get the tone just how I want it.

How would you describe your motherhood style?

I’m relatively new to being a mom. My kids are still pretty little, so I haven’t done a lot of the real mom stuff that’s ahead of me. I enjoy my kids a lot more than I anticipated I would, which might sound silly. I’ve never really been a “kid person,” but it turns out that when they’re your own they’re really delightful. We like the park, we love the museum, we love to just stay at home. We’ll spend a couple of hours going up and down the stairs, playing with the toys at our house, or hanging out with other families. All the regular kid stuff is more fun than I thought it would be. There’s also more emotion now that I have kids. For example, we just got some family pictures taken and I couldn’t believe the mushy noises I was making looking at the pictures after – it was kind of embarrassing. I didn’t know I had this side of me!

What are your interests or creative outlets?

None of TAMN’s hobbies are mine. I’m not a crafter or a photographer. I’m not sure what I can share without spilling too many beans. I’m pretty normal. Well, and awesome.

Do you find TAMN fulfilling or draining? What is your relationship with her?

Mostly fulfilling. It’s a real delight to write 99% of the time. There have been a couple of times, like when I had a baby or was finishing school, when other things in my life took so much of my time and energy that I didn’t feel like I had any left over. That’s when I’ll put it on the shelf and come back to it because it’s not a top priority in part of a real everyday life. But it’s a fun thing to do, to always be watching for. To come up with ideas or to glean different ideas from emails people write, or comments they make, or blogs that they send me. I feel like she’s this ongoing collage. When I think of TAMN as a person, I didn’t used to like her at all when I created her, but now I kind of find her endearing. She’s obnoxious, but the stereotype she represents is pretty sincere. She’s naïve and shallow and materialistic, but she means it and she just doesn’t know any better. TAMN would be appalled at how obnoxious people think she is.

Does writing your blog ever infringe on your spiritual life?

TAMN isn’t church related for me. She’s another aspect of life, but I don’t see TAMN on Sundays. She’s not part of my spiritual life at all. That’s some other feedback I’ve gotten from people. They’ll catch themselves thinking like TAMN and it gives them pause, which I take as a huge compliment. I think that’s fantastic. Why don’t we all think about how we can de-TAMN? My sincere hope is that we can all walk away a little better than we were before we read it.

How many people know your true identity?

A few. I know a number of people who are swear-on-their-life sure that it’s someone else, which I love. I don’t think anyone really wants to know. It’s more fun not to know. On a similar note, I am still amazed at how often people assume and/or are totally convinced the blog is written by a guy.

How much of TAMN do you see in yourself?

Yikes. I see more of her in me than I’d like to. We all have bits of her in us. I love a good Cafe Rio salad (though unlike TAMN, I eat the whole thing). I’ll catch myself blowing things out of proportion and recognize it’s kind of a TAMN-esque reaction. Times or ways in which she’s particularly shallow or makes a big deal out of things that aren’t that important. I’ve also been in callings where I’d think about how TAMN would respond, and then do the opposite.

TAMN says that things are perfect, but she’s also really whiny. When really, how could her life be easier? I catch some of that in myself as well. It’s like TAMN wants a trophy for existing. I’ll catch myself being whiny and think, “Wait, why I am being such a baby? I deserve a trophy for what? For living, for doing things that everyone does all the time? Pull it together, quit being a TAMN.” There was one post where her husband had to work a lot and so she said she was basically “pulling an Emma,” with the implication of huge sacrifice. What’s Emma Smith about having to clean up a diaper or getting to spend all day playing with your kids while JJWT is in law/biz/medical/dental school? What a blessing to have a family, to have a spouse that has a great job or is getting such good training or whatever it might be. We often lament our pretty high-class problems.

At A Glance

Author of Seriously, So Blessed

Location: USA
Age: 28
Marital status: Married
Occupation: stay-at-home mom/part-time professional
Languages Spoken at Home: English
Favorite Hymn: “Sweet Is the Work”
Current Calling: Young Women’s President
On the Web: www.seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com

I love reading SSB too, thatnks for some background, it’s more enjoyable to feel like you are in on the joke with the author. Great interview!

Noelle

That was really fun to read through. I am happy to find how well I like the author of SSB and how normal she really is. I agree with Trisha, it’s “fun to be in on the joke.”

Janelle

I’ve been reading TAMN since SSB’s inception. I saw the news blip a month or so after she started, but it’s nice to read a more in-depth interview with her. I’m curious to know who writes JJWT. Is it the same person? That would be my guess. The authorial voice is strained and shallow, and lacks the same depth (ironic choice of words, I know) that TAMN has. If it were written by the author’s husband, I think it would have more depth, coming from a man.

erin

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read SSB and wished I could have a chat with the author, because I’ve always thought we would be instant friends. This article was the next best thing!
This blog is so spot on and hilarious, and I really admire how good spirited her commentary is.

Heather Whitehead

Wonderful interview! I loved getting the inside scoop on the brains behind the hilarious blog. Thanks to you both.

Loved the interview! It was great to get another glimpse at the genius behind the hilarity. My life’s goal, since discovering SSB, is to be as un-TAMN-like as is humanely possible, and I keep telling my husband the only bad thing about the blog is that I didn’t come up with the idea first!

Brooke

I’m so happy this interview was done. Until now for some crazy reason I thought TAMN was real, like really that shallow. I’m sooooo relieved to know that the author is a real down to earth girl just like me, but loves to be creative and sassy. I’m a pretty gulliable person so it’s great to know the truth behind the blog.

Oh, and now that I know this, this would be a genius idea for a movie. Do it.

Roxy

You mean the blog isn’t real!?!?

Carlie

I loved this article. Your blog is too hilarious, but it was great to read something sincere from such a creative writer. Keep up the good work on SSB. It is always a treat to read! Good to know you are actually grounded in real life. 🙂

Just as I suspected! I knew that the actual girl behind TAMN had to be a very smart and educated woman. This interview certainly proves that. One can’t write such spot-on blog posts without having the brains behind the wit. I really do wish I could meet this author!

I loved this article, and I love blog. However in the first paragraph where it uses the word “definitely” I had to read it three times to make sure it didn’t say “defiantly” because TAMN was the one speaking after all 🙂

Nollie, this was a great interview. How fun to read about TAMN from her creator. I’ve always enjoyed the blog and have laughed at so many of the posts. When I served in the YW org I especially laughed as I found so many little traits that were all too real. Once I really did want to text the lesson to one of our girls who just COULD NOT put her phone away, and within a few weeks of that, TAMN posted about how this was such a great idea.

Thanks!

Laurie

I really hope that some day we will get to know who the author of SSB is – I’m not sure if knowing that she is a YW president is a big enough clue, however. I get such a kick out of the blog, and actually I DO feel that I’m a better person after I read it because I try really, really hard not to be like TAMN. I’m a grandmother, and I told my daughters and young mother friends in my ward about the blog. We are all major fans!

What a great interview! I knew I would like TAMN’s creator. The humor is just too spot-on and clever. Thanks for all the laughs!

Megan

This was such a pleasure to read! It was great to “meet” Tamn’s alter ego…it’s funny to see how down to earth you really are…thanks for your insights!

Erin

I can’t even count how many times I have caught myself in a TAMN thought or moment. I love the encouragement to try and de-TAMN. I’ve learned to laugh at myself a little more, I love writing our family blog and it is true if you read too many you can get a complex. I may have tweaked my writing style a bit after reading SSB!

Lisa

I NEVER miss SSB. Sometimes, it is the best part of my day. It’s nice to know that someone else is seeing the crazy that’s sometimes there and laughing too.

Jo

I was cool to read your “regular voice.” Thanks for giving me so many laughs!

Sarah L.

That was awesome! The voice behind TAMN is just how I imagined her. Thank you for the many laughs! 😀

Jillian

I love SSB! It was refreshing to learn more about the author, she is even more real and interesting than I imagined! I have always gotten a good laugh at some of the LDS culture we have created.

anita

Thank you! TAMN is defiantly one of our more prominent Mormon women these days 🙂
Enjoyed the interview, thank you to the TAMN author for many laughs and brightening/lightening our days. I think your anonymity adds a little to the allure, as well, so keep it up!

Bethany

Thank you for doing this interview. It’s good to know something about the brain behind TAMN. I love your blog!

Jamie

I loved reading this interview! I found SSB several months ago & its been a real outlet for me – as someone caught in the Provo-mormon-student/young couple-cultutre- web. I love feeling like someone else out there feels EXACTLY like I do – and sometimes I secretly wish I was friends with the author 🙂 Thank you for sharing some insight into the genius behind my favorite blog-haunt! Your creativity & the time you put into SSB is MUCH appreciated. I’ll be a reader as long as you keep it going!

It’s great to be able to laugh about Mormon culture. Sometimes I think it’s just easier to get freaked out about people not following Sister Mormonista’s funeral potato recipe to the letter so that the everyone gets exactly the same meal at the pre-General RS Conference dinner, than it is to have to admit that for the two hours of the conference there are going to be some difficult doctrines and principles discussed. Recognizing ‘roast ends’ for what they are is healthy.

But I will not have my diet Coke addiction mocked. I simply will not. (And if you refuse to put potato chips on top of your funeral potatoes, then next time just sign up to bring cups. It turns out the church is just a teensy bit truer when the chips are on the potatoes.)

This was so fun to read! One of my favorite bits, “I just know so many young moms who are so good and who are trying so hard… It’s a thankless stage of life and I appreciate that often they seem to be the ones laughing the hardest.” SSB author; I like you. 🙂 I’ve advertised my business on the blog a couple times and love the fun reads!

Great interview! It’s so fun to read about the thoughts that go into creating TAMN. I too have pondered the thought, “How could I be LESS like TAMN?” The whole blog is a great experiment in reverse psychology!

mach

I love SSB and have sent it to many non-LDS friends who get just as much of a kick out of it as I do. But we always seem to mention this one thought… When you say “Mormon culture”, you know you are really referring to Utah Mormon culture, right? And that “Utah Mormon culture” can extend outside of Utah, certainly, but most people who have lived there or visited there know that there is a very noticeable difference.

I’ll have to differ from the crowd… I protest the anonymity! I reallyreally wanna know who writes this! Totally drives me nuts! 🙂
But I’m really glad to hear she won’t poke fun at some subjects and doesn’t make light of some sacred things. Boundaries are good.

css

I’m not sure what your profession is, but as anthropologist you seem right up our ally:

“Inspiration is all over the place. I keep expecting to run out of ideas, and then I look around and think, “That will never happen!” I’m a lifelong member of the LDS Church and have always been a part of the culture but simultaneously a participant and observer. I’m a people watcher by nature so I feel like I’ve always enjoyed noting little idiosyncrasies or patterns of behavior. A lot comes from my own life experience. I jot down ideas everywhere and then piece them together for posts. For example, last year, a waitress asked me if I was in the mood for “Eye-talian food,” and I instantly reached for a pen and thought, “How has TAMN not said ‘eye-talian’ yet??”

I’ve always wanted to write something about Mormon women, but can not quite figure out the line between culture and church and respect and humor. I think you’ve found it and should continue, maybe even writing a “young and perfect” ethnography someday.

Tamn,
Love this, and love reading your blog. As does my husband (he always lets me know when there is a new post!) Can I vouch that you are not a man? I think you are very talented and love reading the creative adventures of Tamn. And I too look at myself and say “is this like Tamn?” If I am, I de-Tamn.
Emily G.

Fun to hear the “real” voice behind SSB. The blog is refreshing. I called my blog, “Be Katelyn” because although I go by Katie, my full name is Katelyn and I feel like that’s reflective of blogs. I only show the side I want to. I don’t take photos of my home when it’s a disaster just when it’s nice. By doing this, I think it’s easy for people to think lives are perfect from blogs. So I wanted to try to make it clear that my life isn’t perfect (although it’s pretty dang good).

This was such a great thing to read – I’ve found myself being a TAMN and it’s refreshing to know I’m not the only one. 🙂 I like that we can all be a little better (but not too much) Thank you for sharing.

I discovered your blog last week and started follow your posts religiously. I have not commented on any blog just yet but I was thinking I would love to. It’s really exciting to actually contribute to a article even if it’s only a blog. I really don’t know exactly what to write other than I really enjoyed reading through 2 of the articles. Nice articles indeed. I sure will keep visiting your blog weekly. I learned quite a bit from you. Thx!

Simini Blocker

This is lovely! I loved the last part about “we often lament our pretty high-class problems.” So true. THank you. And thanks for the blog!

I read this interview while wearing my “i’m off Diet Coke” t-shirt. And I am, except that I’m ONTO Diet Dr. Pepper. I love the idea behind SSB, and I appreciate that it is written as satire, but I simply cannot stomach reading it on a daily basis. I know far too many young LDS TAMNs, and as a 40 yo LDS SAHM whose kids are all under 7, I’m kind of forced to hang out with them sometimes. I think I’d really like the author, as she sounds super intelligent and self-aware, but for daily reading, gimme Moosh In Indy.

i would love to read how TAMN deals with persons of color (even interracial marriage/dating), prop 8 aftermath, Down syndrome, eating disorders, and all the serious issues.

if you’ve already blogged about these, i’d love to read the archives. that would be the bestest!

Seriously, So Blessed gives me the laugh I need, and the confirmation over and over again that LDSrs really can get outta hand ridiculous and never know it.

ur fave realsy,
-k.

brown sugar

ps–i like how the interview question asked if SSB interferes with Spiritual life. It’s funny because SSB, if anything, enhances spiritual life since it blows the whistle on the rampant, multi-generational stupidity NONspirituality.

I stumbled on SSB a year or so ago, and I admit… I judged the author. Not that you were anything at all like TAMN – just that you were mean enough to judge people like TAMN. I originally found the blog to be distasteful, because while I try not to take myself too seriously, I am very wary of making fun of other people – especially naive people, like TAMN (or people who are like her).

It’s nice to know the intent, and once again I am reminded not to judge… because things are almost never as they seem…