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Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Outside the Inbox

I just emptied out my spam folder. I’ll admit, it’s been a while since I’ve done that, since I’m generally content to just let the email wizards figure out what is and isn’t worth delivering to my inbox. Maybe I should peek in there more often, though. Because apparently there are an awful lot of people who want to say hello to me, offer me amazing investment opportunities, and declare their deep love for me—or at least make a night in bed feel like love. Who knew you could get such an ego boost from your email? I’m going to hang out there more often.

Seriously, though, I’ll admit to being puzzled by spam. Not annoyed, mind you—I’ve never been one of those people who will rant and rave about spam, but then, I also don’t mind the junk mail that comes to my home (except for the number of trees it kills), and I often don’t even complain too much about telemarketers. I figure everyone’s just trying to make a living. But spam puzzles me because I can’t understand how there’s any profit in it for anybody. I mean, if my own practice is anything to judge by, somewhere around 99.99999% of the mail in a spam folder is deleted before anyone ever takes a look.

But, even if you couldn’t resist a subject line and opened up the message, who clicks suspicious links that might infect your entire computer or allow someone to steal all your private information? Or, even if it’s not some sort of malware lurking in the link, who buys random stuff off the internet from a sketchy ad in your spam folder? But, obviously, somebody does, or these spammers would quit flooding my mailbox, hoping that I’m the one who helps them strike it rich today.

But, it’s not going to be me. I might be close to the ultimate consumer, drawn in by all sorts of ads, and easily intrigued by a good deal, but even I don’t shop in the spam folder, no matter how much they might try to boost my ego.