Slacker Xisco fakes injury to exit

In another astonishing, yet altogether expected, NUFC Spanish episode, Xisco has admitted he faked injury to avoid playing for the club and exit stage right. Despite his £50k a week wages, huge fee, Spanish under 21 caps and La Liga experience, our Wise signing left Nile Ranger to bail us out. Speaking following his move the gutless and unprofessional mercenary said:

"After a difficult first year in Newcastle, this year seemed it was going to be more of the same and a good time to leave. I even stopped playing in the last few days to force my exit.

If they hadn`t accepted the loan at Santander, I would have regarded my situation at Newcastle as hopeless."