Since my daughter Casey was killed by a distracted driver in 2009, I have worked to develop distracted driving presentations for all age groups: high school to college students and “adults.” Through my organization, EndDD.org (End Distracted Driving), over the past seven years I have personally given presentations to more than 100,000 teens and college students and about 20,000 adults over the age of 40. I have also worked directly with high school and college students on specific projects. These students are affiliated with the premiere student leadership organizations in the country, SADD, FCCLA and NOYS. Some of these students have become part of an informal advisory committee for me. I run ideas by them, listen to their thoughts and in exchange, I am better able to communicate safe driving messages to students. I have nothing but respect for my millennial think-tank, and the more than 100,000 students I have given presentations to. To what may be a surprise for some, I find they are hard-working, polite, engaging, curious and sincerely committed to helping others.

My audiences are composed of millennials, those born between 1980 and 1995, and Generation Z, born after 1995. The millennials that I speak with are on the younger side of that generation, mostly now between the ages of 22 and 27. My daughter Casey was a millennial and would be 29. My son Brett is also a millennial, and he is 27 years old. My Generation Z audiences are now between the ages of 15 and 22.

My generation, the baby boomers, often describe millennials unflatteringly as “selfish, entitled and addicted to technology.” I hear this time and time again. I don’t think we have gotten around to refining our disparaging remarks for Generation Z members and just lump them in with millennials. But, are our criticisms fair, or accurate?

What does research tell us about millenials? In a 2015 Ernest and Young Survey, “Global generations: A global study on work-life challenges across generations,” millennials were most likely to say that they would take a pay cut, forego a promotion or be willing to move to manage work-life demands better. Millennials try to set limits on the demands of work and proactively carve out time for personal activities and needs. Most millennials do not see a career as working for one employer their entire lives. Managers may view this as being lazy, or even disloyal. But millennials expect to change jobs frequently and work-life balance and flexibility are common motivators for changing jobs. In addition to these job hops, millennials also may make entire career shifts. Do these views, and older generations’ perceptions that they lack “our” work ethic, make millennials “lazy?” I don’t think so, just different. For years there has been lip service paid to trying to achieve a better work-life balance, but millenials are actually taking steps to make that happen.

And what about the perception that millennials are selfish and entitled? In interacting with high school and college students, I am amazed by how many do volunteer work. I specifically ask that question when I speak with students and easily 60-70 percent of those in attendance will raise their hands. According to the 2014 Case Foundation’s Millennial Impact Report a majority of Americans, including millennials themselves, describe their generation as “selfish” and “entitled.” But, 70 percent of millennials spent at least an hour volunteering their time to a cause they cared about, and more than one-third volunteered 11 hours or more. Forty-five percent participated in a company-wide volunteer day. Thirty-two percent used paid time off to volunteer and 16 percent took unpaid time off to volunteer. The report also found that 84 percent made a charitable donation in 2014. A 2014 Nielsen report, “Millennials: Breaking the Myths,” offered similar data. In 2011, 75 percent made a donation to a charity, 71 percent raised money for one, and 57 percent volunteered—“more than any other generation,” the report says. As compared with prior generations millenials are more committed to social change and, so much so in fact, that marketers are analyzing how to reach millennial consumers through their heightened social consciousness. See the SpencerHall 2015 report “Why Millennials’ Socially Conscious Mindset Is Crucial to Your Innovation Strategy.” These findings seem to belie the opinion that millenials are selfish.

Melissa Gomez, Ph.D., and Principal of MMG Jury Consulting Inc., has studied juror beliefs and found that when asked what was more important in rendering a decision, following the judge’s instructions or doing what the juror believed was fair, a stark contrast exists between millennials and other generations. Sixty-five percent of millennials felt doing what was fair most important, while less than half of non-millennials (those over the age of 35) felt fairness was most important. I have asked that same question to predominately those under the age of 25 and found the results even more biased towards fairness. There is a decided appeal to me in the belief that strict adherence to rules should not interfere in doing what is right.

I have more than 300 volunteer speakers across the country giving our EndDD.org student presentations. It is crucial that they treat young people with respect. If someone feels young people are “lazy and entitled,” won’t those views come across in their presentation? Isn’t respect for one’s audience a prerequisite for effectively communicating with that audience? What about the credibility of the speaker? I often hear young people use the term “hypocrite” to describe parents, police officers and teachers who try to lecture students not to drive distracted. Distracted driving is not just a teen problem, it is ubiquitous among most age groups and generations and young people are acutely aware of that. That is why speakers must tell audiences about their own distracted driving habits and what they are doing to drive without distraction. Absent that self-disclosure speakers will have difficulty being perceived as credible.

Far from being lazy, selfish and entitled I find high school and college students highly motivated and sincerely wanting to make a positive difference in the world. Are they “addicted to technology?” Certainly, technology plays an important role in their lives – as it does for most of us today. But part of being connected is caring about friends and using those connections to get others involved with charitable work and projects and causes that benefit others.

With respect to my traffic safety efforts I see students across the country taking the lead in working to keep their friends, and even their parents, safe from distracted driving. More than 70 percent of the students I speak with will publicly admit that their moms and dads drive distracted. Many students tell me that since their parents drive distracted it is up to them, as big brothers and sisters, to teach younger siblings to drive safely. Young people are more open to discussing ideas and changing their points of view, more curious and less rigid than their parents. I am much more likely to hear excuses and rationalizations from parents attempting to minimize their distracted driving behaviors than from students.

I am excited each and every day to work with today’s young people to help them be safe and to help them keep their friends safe. I am optimistic that when treated with respect and given the right messages, young people will change the way all of us think about distracted driving and save many lives.

Joel & Casey, Dec. 2008

*Joel Feldman is the father of the late Casey Feldman and founder of the Casey Feldman Foundation and its sponsored project, EndDD.org. He has been a practicing attorney for 34 years and a shareholder in the law firm of Anapol Schwartz in Philadelphia. He received a masters in counseling in 2013 and speaks throughout the U.S. and Canada to teens and adults, changing attitudes and behaviors through the science based, End Distracted Driving program. Joel also provides death notification training to law enforcement and the medical community. Joel can be reached at Info@EndDD.org.

What people are saying about the presentations:

“ No more phone out in the car for me. I told my kids they would not be seeing me using the phone in the car again. ”— Mary Zambri, Executive Director, Trial Lawyers Association of Metropolitan Washington D.C.

“Normally I start texting as soon as I get in my car after the game, but after the talk today, I am not texting when I get in my car and leaving the wrist band in my car as a reminder”— from a cheerleader at University High School, Baton Rouge LA.

“These presentations have been a wonderful combination of thought-provoking conversations, videos, student participation, and quality information sharing … On a personal note, every year after the presentation, I have walked away with a renewed passion for life, and for making incremental changes in the way I live and drive. I strongly recommend that schools and other organizations engage in this influential assembly.”— John Perella Headmaster, Medford High School, Medford, MA

“It was a fabulous presentation, well organized and certainly a most important topic that needs to be addressed in this fast moving technological world of ours. The girls thoroughly enjoyed hearing from all of the presenters and told me how much “it made them think”. One of the teachers told me yesterday that he thought it was the best assembly that we have had!” —Chris Kaiser, Dean of Students, Notre Dame Prep, Towson, MD

"I'm continuing to hear excellent feedback from both faculty and students. Many students are telling me that they really enjoyed the interaction, and that you're an alum. A lot of teachers are telling me that the message was right on point. I actually received two emails from teachers over the weekend that said they are now thinking twice when driving!" —Christopher Romero, Central Catholic High School, Lawrence, MA

“[Thank you to John McKiggan for speaking to ] our Grade 9 students. Your message of the awful consequences of distracted driving was heard by our students and staff. The videos really engaged them and made them think. The demonstration of a distracted driver and what students/passengers can say was perfect! Many students returned the sheets and I therefore know they had a conversation with their parents/guardians.”— J.W. Halifax, Nova Scotia.

“ I presented to 450 sophomores at my alma mater, St. Xavier High School, in Cincinnati, the largest, all boys Jesuit high school in the US. It was a grand success and I had a wonderful time... the President and development director have already asked me back next year. The energy and feedback were incredible and powerful.”— Mark Kitrick. Esq Cincinnati, OH.

“ Prevention is ultimately the primary "cure" for the devastating injuries we see. This message has the potential to prevent many of the pediatric spinal cord injuries that happen in this country; this message needs to be delivered and acted upon. ”—Occupational Therapist, Shriner’s Hospital, Philadelphia.

“WOW! What a refreshing experience! Today is one of those days where you feel good about what you do and even better about what you have done knowing that you might just have saved a life. The kids were really excited and participation was excellent. One of the most rousing responses came when I fessed-up to being a distracted driver in my past. I made the confession in my opening remarks and it was smooth sailing from there. ”— George Boath, Esq. Stratford CT

“ I just presented to Nichols School's Upper School students and feel completely charged from the experience. The kids loved the message and the faculty couldn't have appreciated it more. It's great to volunteer with this incredible initiative.”—John Bair, Milestone Consulting, LLC, Buffalo, NY.

“ In a few days, I’m getting my license and I’m not going to be a distracted driver. My mom will text and drive a lot and it freaks me out. If something is that important, have the passenger text for you. ” —Gabby

“ I spoke at Andrew Jackson Senior High in Jacksonville, Florida. One young lady, watching the bus driver filling out papers and driving with his knees, said “My mama does that.” (Frankly, that surprised me.) She became my assistant, holding the microphone up to the AV equipment so it could be heard by everyone. The teachers stayed in the auditorium and were very pleased with the level of participation. ”—Wayne Hoganl, Esq, Jacksonville, FL

“ I spoke to several students about the role-play scenario you did on stage, and they all agreed they find it difficult to confront their parents about texting while driving. Thank you so much for bringing such a poignant issue to our community. I work with teenagers all day, so I know that decision making is often very difficult for them. Your compassionate and thoughtful presentation has changed behaviors. ” —Joel Dankoff, Student Council Advisor Friends' Central School, Wynnewood, PA

“ After the presentation a student came up to me and thanked me for coming to the school. He then shared that his parent had killed someone when driving distracted. He shared his feelings from the perspective of a young man who watched the aftermath of the tragedy his parent caused and indicated how that changed his parent’s driving behaviors and how that has affected this young man—who does not drive distracted now. ”— Chris Marzzacco, Esq. Harrisburg, PA

“ Went great! [Spoke to] sixty students from the alternative high school. Looking forward later this month when we hit all 5 of the area public and private high schools. The program is certain to change behaviors and the way that people look at distracted driving. We made a definite impact on our students, but I think we also got the attention of the teachers who saw the presentation. Thanks again for your help, and for putting this program together.”— Mike Williams, Esq. Fargo, ND

“ Young people often are reluctant to speak up because they do not have the words to do so. The role play scenarios empower young people by providing them with the tools to advocate for themselves when they are put in an unsafe situation such as driving with an individual who is distracted. ” — Mark Fifer, The Haverford School, Haverford, PA

“ I felt when the young drivers were sharing their own poor choices this was very helpful to the cause—the students were pretty attentive; participated and shared experiences; and were respectful. I wasn’t sure at first if they’d open up, but they did. I should add that the videos about Mr. Feldman’s daughter and the sister speaking of her text to her older sister at the time of a fatal wreck were powerful and made a true impact on the kids. ”—Tim Pickell, Esq Westwood, Kansas

“ The presentation made me realize that all those little things while driving make a big difference. When you are driving distracted you not only put your life at risk but everyone around you. I want to do something to stop these deaths and it has to start with myself. I’m going to make an effort to not let myself be distracted and to let others know too. ” — Morgan

“ Seeing the pink EndDD.org bracelets on my daughter’s (now 6&7 years old) tiny wrists was a surprisingly powerful reminder that it only takes a moment to change your life, and perhaps take someone else's. I would look into their eyes and very quickly think... there is simply nothing more important to me than these girls. No email, text, bite of a cheeseburger or any other momentary distraction compares to them - the comparison itself is beyond ridiculous, so why would I take such a risk. That was all it took. I put the cell phone down and stopped eating in the car, no more checking printed directions while driving, etc. I know that I am now a safer driver for these reasons. ” — Aaron Brown, Authentic 3d Summit, NJ

“ Yesterday after school my mom was texting while she was driving and I told her to put her phone away whenever the kids are in the car. And now this morning she left her phone at home when she was driving us to school. Thanks for saving lives! ” —Alfaro

“ I thought it was a really powerful assembly. She wasn’t there to yell at us, but rather spoke from experience about how terrible distracted driving can be. ” —Amanda Librizzi, Manasquan NJ

“ Young people understand, deeply, that cell phone us while driving needs to be "de-normalized" and even stigmatized. Young people want to be supported and encouraged in using their voices to "speakup" to others, including their parents, when they feel unsafe about distracted driving. They need information, support and encouragement from us to do this. ”—Scott Blumenshine, Esq. Chicago, IL

“ Getting into a car or bus with anyone who is not a concentrated driver is putting yourself at risk no matter how experienced the driver may be. And you should let the person know that you don’t feel safe and offer to text for them or ask them to put their phone, makeup, IPod anything that is the distraction away. It can happen to anyone. ” — Hanna

Students & Drivers So Far

400,000

EndDD.org’s Awareness Initiative has reached more than 400,000 in 45 states and several Canadian provinces.