Thursday, June 14, 2012

"Sand on your toes, a fruity drink in your hand...what could be better than this?"

[Golden throated announcer pauses for effect...]

"Getting it for half off"

Seriously...that's it?

Ok, they would have you believe that your on vacation at some nice beach locale. But who's to say they weren't describing a homeless person standing in a cat box and drinking a fruit box they found half full on the sidewalk?

But let's not dwell on the negative. The real problem I have with this is that must think I don't have an imagination. My immediate response order went something like this...

[VE mumbling to himself in retort to golden throated announcer]

Oh really? How about getting it for nothing

Which then is followed by

Or how about them paying me to be on vacation at the beach with a fruity drink in my hand

Which then is followed by

Or how about they move me to live at that beach

Which then is followed by And they pay me to live there

Which then is followed by And the drink is in a pre-frosted glass that can display my favorite movie on the side of it while I sip my fruity rum drink

Which then is followed by That tastes delicious and actually builds muscle and burns fat without doing anythingWhich then is followed by And the beach is private, the sand is hand filtered to a soft white perfection and then properly cooled from underneath so that I don't burn my bare feet as I walk through it

VE's Serious Side

Latest Parody

What was is no longer what is

Back in the day when people blogged, I kept track of everyone that bothered to comment. Of course, nobody blogs anymore (okay, the couple of you that still do, you're like the "Road Warrior") so I have removed the blog roll sections.