Your New Lara Croft Could Be… Kim Kardashian?!

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The “Tomb Raider” franchise has made over $400 million at the global box office. The second movie in the franchise was a big flop, but small details like that have never stopped Hollywood from churning out film sequels that no one really asked for. Thus, the world may soon be blessed with a third installment of the Lara Croft saga. But there’s a snag. Angelina Jolie has already stated she has no interest in returning to the lead role. That means someone new has to take her place. And while you may think it would be wise to replace Jolie with, you know, an ACTOR, producers appear to have something different in mind. Starpulse says amateur porn superstar and human floatation device Kim Kardashian is in the mix to win the role:

Kim Kardashian is reportedly in talks to replace Angelina Jolie in the "Tomb Raider" franchise.

Producer Dan Lin revealed last year Jolie would not be reprising her action role for the next installment of the action film because film bosses wanted to cast a younger actress.

"Transformers" star Megan Fox was said to be in the running for the role but she denied the rumors - and now the "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" star is the latest name linked to the project.

A source tells the Global Grind website, "Kim has wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara, which would be shot in 3D and aimed at a teen audience."

I’m sorry, was the last Lara Croft movie not aimed at a teen audience? I was unaware its chief demographic was Native Americans over the age of 60. Anyway, I applaud this move by producers. Those two previous “Tomb Raider” movies made over $400 million because horny boys wanted to see Angelina Jolie wear the Lara Croft outfit. Acting was irrelevant to the movie (I don’t even think Jolie is that good of an actress), as were things like plot, story, characters, or dialogue. “Tomb Raider” exists strictly as an extremely softcore fetish vehicle. So it makes sense to hand the role to Kardashian, who has never acted and can’t even play herself convincingly on her own reality show. She seems attractive, and can fill out the costume. Is that all you need? Yep. It really is.

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Published at 7:24 AM PDT on Jun 8, 2010 | Updated at 11:47 AM PDT on May 30, 2012