GB: Smooth Criminal. Great video, very
underrated. Look at the way he handles his hat... Wish I could handle a hat
like that.

KH: Well, you're more of a cowboy hat kind of
guy. It's a lot harder to dance with a big ten-gallon.

GB: Don't patronize me, Karen. It's not like
I've never seen Garth Brooks in action. Remember when he gave that command
performance around the campfire down in Crawford?

KH: No.

GB <sighs>: It doesn't matter...

KH: What's the matter, George? You know you
can tell Kiki.

GB: Its just that... you know, there is so
much meanness in the world. So many people just seem to want to find Michael
guilty. Rove sent a note over saying I should give him a presidential
condemnation. I don't even know what that is. I got a call from Dr. Dobson,
he's on my back again...

Why was Michael Jackson shopping at K-Mart? I
got that question in a letter today.

KH: Because he heard they had boys pants half
off.

GB: Whuh? Try to stay on topic, Karen. This
is a man who has given the world so much pleasure...

KH: Look at that! He's smashing someone's
windshield.

GB: Oh, yeah. That's the 'Black or White'
video. See, someone wrote racist graffiti on the window, so what choice does
he have other than to clean it off? He's fighting for freedom and equality.

KH: And the children.

GB: And the children... Well, I just hope he
can pull his life back together and get back out there and make some more
great music... Maybe we could give him some sort of grant.

KH: Maybe we could make him a goodwill
ambassador.

GB: Maybe we could make him a real
ambassador. Some place where he could make a real difference, like Togo.

KH: I'm sure Togo would be delighted.

GB: Or UN ambassador! That is, uh, if Bolton
doesn't get confirmed. That guy scares me.

KH: He scares all of us. But remember what
Cheney said.

GB: Right, right. Well, Togo it is, then. Now
hush up. 'Bad' just started - the long version.