America's Greatest State had a banner year in 2012 for crazy vehicular crimes, and it shows no signs of slowing down in 2013. The latest example of Florida's winning streak comes in the form of this trio of jokers, who were arrested after police say they tied a man to the back of a pickup truck and dragged him half a mile down the street.

NBC reports that Jeannette Morris, 61, her brother, 63-year-old Harold Anderson, and 46-year-old Joan Hobart of Samsula, Florida have been charged with attempted murder, aggravated battery and conspiracy to commit murder after an incident that happened earlier this week.

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How did these three end up dragging a man — who is Morris' ex-husband, by the way — down the street? Well, boys and girls, it all starts with some crazy redneck drama.

Sheriff's officials in Volusia County explain that Morris is a truck driver who lets the victim stay at her house to tend her animals when she's out of town until he pays back a $1,300 debt to her. But he's been hanging out at the house with his new girlfriend, and so when Morris returned home, she called a sheriff's deputy to come with her to make sure there was no trouble. (These two ladies must not get along, I gather.)

Everything seemed cool, so the deputy left. Except things didn't stay cool. The sheriff's office says the other two suspects showed up and started drinking vodka with the ex-husband, then zapped him with a stun gun, punched him in the face and held a pistol to his head. And then they dragged him down the street with the truck.

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The poor bastard survived and broke free of the truck, and then he made it to a nearby home to ask for help wearing only his underwear. Morris at first claimed not to know anything, but the blood on her clothes and the shovel in the truck said otherwise. The victim remains hospitalized with serious injuries.

Listen, Florida rednecks, I know this is hard to understand, but sometimes it's better to just let things slide. Give it a try sometime.