Wednesday, August 31, 2011

(click ad) Explain your decision, Australian ASB:
"The Board noted that the woman in the advertisement is wearing a bikini and considered that this would be appropriate attire for a beach setting. However, the Board noted that the focus of the advertisement is on the chest and torso of the woman and the woman’s breasts are the focus of the advertisement and comprise the majority of the image in the advertisement. The Board noted that the advertisement appears in bus shelters and has a broad audience which includes children and that in this context noting the size of the advertisement, the unavoidable focus for the viewing audience is the woman’s breasts. The Board considered that this level of nudity is confronting in the context."
Jesus. By the time they got done with that statement, they could have jerked off to the poster. Which they probably did. Via AdNews.
TITS—WHAT CAN'T THEY SELL? They can't sell 'Jersey Shore' Down Under.Previously: Russian Butt Billboard Banned Because of Russian Butt (nsfw).

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And I've seen some seriously creepy ones previously (examples here and here). You have reddit to thank for digging up this German ad from 2004. Luckily for the girl, this appears to be Photoshop not a photoshoot. The ad is for this child protection organization. Ad agency: Scholz & Friends, Berlin. Like I've said. Germans. Perverts.

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I don't know. But I'd wager that it would not be any stranger than this one via Saatchi & Saatchi NY. Jesus creepy Christ. This is all Skittles' fault. But the strange Skittles spots of recent years never really ventured into skeevy unappetizing territory (well, except for maybe the human tube sock one).
"You look delicious"? Holy pubescent boy sexual tension, Batman!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The ad, via Australian men's clothing brand Roger David, was banned earlier this month by the Aussie ASA because it "inappropriately depicted a young girl in a sexualised manner." Apparently the model gagging on a Union Jack button is not underage, but she looks like it—and was sure as shit meant to look like it. The UPC code on her shoulder reads 'SLAVE." In case you were wondering (oral sex), there is a concept (oral sex) here. Here is the concept, according to (oral sex) Roger David, who says the ad does not portray sex (ha), sexuality (HA), or nudity:
"The image of the woman (is) a comment on youth and the national debt that now rests on their shoulders and as an ironic patriotic comment on capitalist recruitment and identity." Also: "The relevant audience for this advertisement is young men. Roger David strongly believes that young men would relate to this image, and would not see it as shocking or exploitative.”
Old man Dov Charney will be masturbating to it before the L.A. day is out.Previously in sexualized underage models: Love's Baby Soft • BMW.

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According to Loes, who sent me the image, this is being done to relay that the killed animals had a better life. The Teddy Bears were placed in all the beef and pork packages. I'm guessing this is very pricey meat. Try explaining this to the kids.Previously in the meat aisle:
• Human trafficking awareness advertising comes to your local meat case.

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Well, she's about to get a shiny diamond necklace to match her shiner, so all's well that ends well? Edgy. Ad is for the Fluid Salon in Edmonton.
Ad agency: unknown.Related: Headless women in top Montreal hair salon ads.
update: the ad was emailed to me anonymously. It fits the Fluid campaign look (more ads here).
update #2: the salon owner defends the ad here.

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But then, I'm a lifelong hockey player. This is a few months old, but it just started showing up on the ad posting sites now. So many funny moments: the seated goalie by the sea. The welder's helmet. "I'm a forward. A full forward." "Who?" Don't know how it sells Vegemite, don't care. Ad agency: JWT, Melbourne.Related: five hockey ads ranging from hilarious to idiotic.

(click image, via Animal NY)
Graphic artist Jay Shells (his street name) is about to launch a social etiquette campaign with four very official looking signs he will be posting all over the city. Riffing off of the MTA logo, the signs are tagged "Metropolitan Etiquette Authority." Last year, Shells advised subway riders of proper behavior. I can't wait to see the other three signs. Note: You walking smartphone updaters (especially on 23rd street) deserve forearm shivers to your stupid faces.Previously in: cool street art.

This is still the craziest sushi commercial ever.
But this one is very far from sane.
What the Hell does that set-up have to do with sushi?
See many more cRaZY Japanese ads here.
Update: I've switched to the subtitled version (thanks Vinnie).
It doesn't help explain things much.

(click image, via Animal NY)
Yes, that's a Sylvester penis with Tweety Bird balls. It's a bronze work by Daniel Edwards called "Allegory of a Teen Sex Symbol (Justin Bieber)." It's now showing at the Cory Allen Contemporary Art gallery. From their website:
"Daniel wanted to create a work that opens a dialogue about the inevitable exploitation of teen sex symbols as they grow from child stars to adults, like we’ve seen with past celebutantes Lindsay, Miley, and Britney,” said the artist’s representative Cory Allen.
“It would be naïve and hypocritical for anyone to be offended by this simple sculpture, yet be apathetic towards the plethora of images to which they subject themselves on a daily basis,” said Daniel Edwards, “I stand by the work.” Does he shape himself like a penis when he stands next to it?
Edwards' previous work includes naked Britney Spears giving birth, Suri Cruise's first poop, and Ted Williams' dead head.Previously: Vampire Justin Bieber has air-sex in his "Someday" commercial.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

(click ad, via) The ad, for a Swiss newspaper, is a couple of months old, but now's a good time to trot it out. No wonder Jobs resigned; he's been battling a nasty case of internal Moses. Anyway, Sonnstag Zeitung has been using this nesting doll visual device in their advertising for a few years now. Previously, they used it to mock Barack Obama's economic policy, Nicolas Sarkozy's temperament and stature, and George W. Bush's leadership. Ad agency: Advico Y&R, Zurich.

It's so stupid, you think it has to be a parody of a stupid beer commercial. But a parody would be, you know, funny. One does almost have to admire the complete lack of tact with that ass shot, though. Wow. Beer brands: forever portraying men as complete fucking morons.

(click ad, via reddit)
Previously in this Frito-Lay series, an ad for Ruffles Molten Hot Wings implored you to "Punch your mouth in its face." Another line I've seen on a Doritos kiosk asked consumers to "Slap your tongue in its mouth." I also remember a taste buds execution, but can't remember the exact line. These, of course, could go on forever. Write some in the comments, if you want. Dick jokes encouraged.

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It's time again for Russian Ad Watch, where we watch Russian ads with nearly complete incomprehension. This vaguely 1984-ish spot is for TCS Bank. Could somebody please translate the v/o at the end? Something about cobwebs and the Internet? Bruce Willis, who endorses another Russian bank, would approve of the demolition of Lenin''s tomb, I'm sure. Previous insane Russian TV spots here.Update: see comments for translation.

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"You may side-step the tragedy that ovetakes so many wives..." Either get lookin' younger, wifey, or hubby's gonna get lookin' for a younger wife.
This is still the worst retro sexist ad ever.
And here's a round-up of seven retro sexist ads.

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The movie opened in Brazil last Friday. So last week, 50 tools riding these insidious bikes hit the night streets of Rio and São Paulo to push the panned film to the locals. YOU WILL BE ADVERTISED TO. The relentless 21st century Ad Creep invasion into every nook and cranny of your daily lives continues...

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Vodacom is a South African mobile telecom. Ad is promoting their adult content management. Ad agency: DraftFCB, Johannesburg. Bees, perverts. Birds, sluts. Any question, kids? If it was "up to me," I'd just send them to RedTube, and tell them to write down their questions. The dirty birds/bees thing was done much better two years ago by a Danish erotic boutique (sfw).

(click image, via Pop Rocks & Coke)
"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

Sunday, August 21, 2011

(via Buzzfeed) I don't know if it's exactly 1984, but that was the year "The Terminator" was released. I like the black balloons, nice touch, amateur commercial maker. This year, one American religious group has used Obama and a stock photo of a cute little black girl in their anti-abortion billboards.