Hot car porn in Paris

Easily the coolest and simultaneously most frustrating and annoying thing about scouring the hot porn pix of auto shows taking place in foreign countries most Americans never visit is the plethora of gorgeous funky weird new cars and concept cars that will of course never ever make it to U.S. shores because so many Americans are too 1) spoiled already 2) glutted on big boring jellybean cars and lunkish SUVs 3) can’t really handle too much style 4) can’t tell a Citroen from a Seat from the mouth-watering new Alfa Romeo Brera, 5) can’t afford 200K for a silly Versace-branded Lamborghini 6) think the Ford Fusion is the height of automotive design.

Edmunds.com

VW’s Iroc concept: proof that Wolfsburg still has some wicked design mojo left in its leiderhosen, despite the numbing new Jetta

Take, for example, the Paris Auto Show. Certainly not the most esteemed of foreign shows (that would be, of course, Geneva), but surely one of the creamiest. Sure, it’s got the hot new Volvo C30 (wait, “hot” and “Volvo” in the same sentence? Sort of like saying “hot tub” and “Laura Bush.” Creepy) and the refreshed Mini Cooper and even the stunning new VW Iroc concept, all of which will actually make it to the U.S., which is amazing in and of itself. I hope Volvo sells a million of ’em. World could do with more designs like that.

roadandtrack.com

Oh my God it’s a sexycool hot-hatch Volvo that’s actually *not* designed for soccer moms and their private-school kids. And it’s coming to the U.S.! Crazy world

But Paris also has crazycool stuff like the wicked Audi R8 and the weird Peugeot 908 RC concept and the luscious Citroen C-Metisse and the orgasmic Alfa 8C Competizione and I don’t really even know what else because I don’t really care because I just like to look at the pictures and imagine a world with no air pollution and no oil problems and no slimy Bushy wars and lots of infinite smooth black ribbons of untrammeled highways interlaid among happy healthy trees and funky roadhouse cafes and long dreamy cross-country road trips that end up at the Paris Hotel in Vegas, where they mist Evian and pure oxygen into the air and you double down on every pair of eights and they bring you free glasses of warm B&B as a lithe brunette named Dominique eyes you from across the blackjack table and slides you her room key and…

Whoa. Sorry. Snap out of it. Must go back to reading the SFGate home page and fill up on happy tales of gridlock and corruption and pollution and $70 billion of our tax dollars just allocated for more failed war in Iraq. I know. Ah, but at least we’ll always have Paris.

worldcarfans.com

This just in: Another car you and I will never, ever own: The groin-tingling Alfa 8C Competizione. It’s also coming to the U.S., but only if you make seven figures and own an Italian villa