Sunday, June 27, 2010

Something has changed within me. I don't know what it is exactly, where it came from, or how it happened.

I'm happy.

I'm happy being me. I'm happy having the extra curves I've looked at with such disdain for all these years. I'm happy to live life, love people, and be loved. I'm confident enough to speak my mind as tactfully and diplomatically as I know how. I'm okay with wearing my bathing suit to the beach...without the shorts and tshirt that for so many years plagued me with yucky tan lines. aka my mormon tan lines ;) I'm independent enough to take care of myself and not fall to pieces when I'm alone. I love myself enough to no longer make people a priority in my life if to them I am merely an option. Something inside me makes me feel so alive. It craves the thrill of living each day and saying yes to opportunities that come my way, as opposed to shying away from them.

I am by no means taking things to the extreme of "yes man" so don't get all carried away thinking you can throw obnoxious requests my way. :p Although I might be down to throw potato salad from a chandelier with you Janis. :) I still want to lose weight. But my motivation now is not to impress a guy or to fit into a smaller pair of jeans. Those are just things that ice the cake that contains my desire to be a healthier, stronger, more energetic daughter of God. That very same health, strength, and energy are the things which will enable me to live and learn as Heavenly Father's plan intended for us to.

I am not saying that from this day until the last day of my existence I will maintain this level of confidence. Like many things in life, happiness and confidence go through cycles. There are times you are stronger than others. But today I am comfortable in my own skin.