SIMPSON CLOSE ESCAPE ~ so many people ask for repeats of this close encounter of the bottled kind, or are telling ME my own story that i feel safe telling it without finding anna n me pilloried in 'desiderata' (or any other hamlet, for that matter)

let me see how light n airy i can keep this cliff-hanger of a tribute to the young.

a month before my jan 20 stroke of 2-14, our local holy trinity kirk held a genial 'meet-yr-local AA' session to which i turned up to see who were my fellow boozers. i was impressed how many showed up to be counted. no surprises there n few averted gazes. takes 1 to know etc i guess. cut to dec 15 n i thought it would be a jolly exercise to romp thru yule sober so i told everyone id joined AA and enjoyed thei admiring gazes - Wtf chris, if youre one i dunno what i am. qed etc.

then 1/20 '14 n i was struck down my nightmsre began with horrific 'imprisonment' n loss of inedependence. thick shades of my early boarding school days ~ shoved in lonely institution with others with whom i had not one shred in common. if id had a pill idve taken it.

then my gals came out n worked miracles n i knew my Father wanted me to see what a gift stephanie had given me.

loipon - stroke-struck, daughter nursed, visited by my fellow Groggers n i decide to pay back years of boozy bliss by offerin san luca as weekly meeting venue.

bless us but what a droopy dull bunch we were. i couldnt imagine knocking back a decent g&t with any of them - exc ept one. a clearly in telligent witty chap (see link) with whom i thought i got on rather well and even anna npticed the spark bond. cut to anna's search for live-in nurse cook n tiens! DS turned out to belong to one of these bunches who specialise in such skilled care. holy moley batman, we're saved. up to a point o lorthos koperou. plans made for DS to take up dream gig, he moves in, anna briefs him n everyone happy. the night before she's due to fly back to agios diego, she finds shes erred with her flight n has to stay a few more days. DS doesnt look too happy, for some reason, in those few days he crashes n burns, in front of both me m my sternly efficient daughter returning from diellas with a jumbo-sized flagon of Alcool that he proceeds to get sozzled on thus blowing his chance of Easy st. gouvia - but phew what a close shave. anna had 24 hrs to find me a new carer n remove Simpers, both of w3hich she did with brisk aplomb. i tell you, she n leo have my undying admiration; how many sweet kids in their 20s xouls take on a hungover crittur in his 60th year w/ very sore head n persude him to leave quietly n be driven to airport n end tyhe nightmare?. god bless them. anna n i agreed we still have nightmares over how close i came to being lumped with El Desidero. im frankly surprised not to have seen a confessional piece appear regretting his goof. but everyone who's heard the tale has read up his blog n knows the Naxos tale. to be continued

mazher mahmood - undercover whizz. this mazher mahmood sneak reporter deserves his own movie. he is a brilliant chameleon n has stung so many top names into laying themselves open. back in the 70s i handled a book by jeremy sandford that involved some top peop-le and mazzer n i played cast n mouse n he outwitted me which is not easy so that means he won. there were quite a few heavy types with grudged hitching a ride to give him the goodnews but he stepped lively and did a pimpernel.

and now here he is playing the saMe old game n wrongfooting tulisa as she tiptoed thru the tulisa lips. defo a jackel movie there

16 July 2014

blazing morning zand i want to get out with thears in thr garden, except that my strokes of jan 20 ubckuded a stroke of ythr optic nerve n im not safe on my own. i have no perpiphweral

vision, not even two words on a headline next to each other. i walk into edges of open doors, metal tables, people, overhanging branches; i get dizzy n whirl about before tumbling in to gutters. painful. its constant pressure on my eyes n i get tired n then collapse. but i have a story to tel n i dream of writing wriytinhg writing so i must press on.

blogs! what nonsense. does anyont get the voice right? either too smart alecky or too portentous n self-serious. dunno if theres an answer but it'll be fun ttrying. at least with my eyes i wont be waxing lengthy n tedious. more news from the caliphate once ive plodded round the property - 1118hrs, 16 july

15 July 2014

after my 5yrs 8 months slaving and vile gardenry i joke to peopl that if i catch them in danger of committing caregivery i will shoot them dead n save them the misery ... and happily swing for it, good cause ...

i seem to have hit on a rather good wheeze over the mail accusing me o selling off the family silver n mutterin threars agin my gals.

as i say, frenz of san luca rollup n hope to buy some memento of maman

i gesture to the printout edangling inna wind

they blanch n retreat

i giver them pen n papier n urge them to go round the house noting down every item that the plaintiff email might be referring to. i tell them it is a jolly comp n that their answers will be mailed to my bro for matking n scoring for good guessweor. i do not hold out hope of my bro relenting and allowing them to buy a memento

easel knievel: i have no idea where the the laura knight beast iws. i swear, 24.7 bugging of the landline but not one whisper that sandra Q was meant to get it. not onr breath wot to do with maman's artmaterials. nothingh was "all on paper", even my mum's dictation of who ghot what of the jewels was only on the paper of my notebook as i took interminable dictation. as 1 dinner guestr quotheded, "thank god \youre honest n organised about all or youd be #1 suspect over where n what yer mums joolry adds up to.' sovaro, lord copper.

more mails to folkllow. already 56he family mailvine is shuddering under the cautions n protests. i send them fotos of the fallen prank tank n conjure up images of the wicked in Oz lying under the meteor crater, red shoesie =s protruding. for which read my red velveteen jool box. hey ho. only in thr movies.

tough gettin back to blogging fter the stroke. i'll have to do like the street corners of beijing (corfu too) n shove up talking points n let them take their head. in this case being some bizarre emails n received and with which family n friends are well familir: when i went into hospital ther medical costs were whizzing like the meter on a baghdad cab, the faithful rushed round n did a minimalist sale. not minimalist enough. ive pinned the email printout to the door posts so that when vieux 'friends of san luca' come round hoping to buy some memento of late maman i point to the memo dangling in the breeze n they retreat blanching. . # 2 concerns a dame laura knight easel that i hasd no idea was meant for a good pal of maman's. apparently so, i bugged every single landline call on 24/7 basis n never neard nuffink about no frogging ezel knieval. go figure. get up singing n crying yeh? am i bovvered?

email from pete

Holmes<busker@gmail.com>

31 May

to Sasha

eyes bad n poor times here.

1st, when i was bundled to ermergency, the faithful held a quick sale to meet costw. when my bro visited he threw a fit nsent an appalling mail -

n:

Chris, I need a promise from you that you will not remove anything further from San Luca, either from the house or garden. You have more or less removed any traces of Mum, which I suppose is what you wanted and any link that I had with her and Dad in the way of material souvenirs have been flushed away in a manner that I would not have thought even you would have done. While I know that any promise you might make means nothing to you if you do not make and keep this one, there will be consequences which will affect Georgina and Anna. I do not feel good about visiting the sins of a father on their children but I cannot think of any other possible way that might just stay your hand. Pete

2ne, hold off on plsns yo stay. visit but not stay. anna is finig me small apt, cannot live in hse coz cant keep it up n pay utilities, must get out as i sell i it. small rm or aptmnt. eyes terrible, cant type. straibn. xxx chris, love u

good stuff. not lost its bite. i should get some feedback here .... Click here to Reply or Forward