How hard is the change from USA/Europe/Australia to Thailand .. the shock of a new culture, new food, extreme hot and humid temperature? It depends on the person, there are a lot of westerners living in Thailand, some for work, some for retirement, a very small number for the monasteries. It's not ...

Monks can only eat what they want if what they want is offered. If they crave chocolate ice cream or lasange then they observe craving and hopefully learn it's nature and gain freedom from it, much like when they crave sex. In thai monasteries where there are a lot of foreigners sometimes lay people...

Considering the nature of practice for many of us I'm surprised not to see under "What causes me to decrease my participation?" something along the lines of... - Retreats or increased Buddhist meditation practice, enthusiasm and commitment. Certainly that can take me out of forum activity for a few ...

What I would suggest is an experiment too see if you are generating the vibrations or whether you are becoming aware of what is naturally occurring. Just practice in exactly the same way but with the idea that you want to stop generating these vibrations. After some time you will probably find that ...

Yes, perhaps we can now discuss the benefits of taking personal responsibility for one's volitional actions and the effect such actions/words might have on self and others. The thing about personal responsibility is that it is about me as a person choosing to take responsibility, it's not about you...

I agree that these would be ways to phrase the comments in a manner less likely to be taken personally. However, regardless of whether the comment begins with "your words" or "those words," notice that the subject is still the words, not the speaker's state of mind or character. This is the crucial...

Again, addressing the speech, not the person. As noted elsewhere, hopefully we can recognize that some comments are more likely to be taken personally than others. Still this quoted comment is playing the ball, not the person, as it is addressed to the words spoken rather than the perceived state o...

Examples of addressing the ball: "Your words are insensitive." "Your posts are liberal/conservative." "You comments may be taken personally." If that's the case then these are not much batter than the examples of addressing the person inside the ball. "Your words are insensitive"... words are just ...

It may be idealism but the fact the Western monks are expected to ordain for 5 years appears to be a reflection of this very same idealism and is what distinguishes the Western ideal from the traditional Asian model I mentioned above. Good point. However 5 years is no the same as a lifetime, it is ...

But do those temporarily ordained Thai monks bash lay people? Do they blackmail them into submission and criticize them to the ground? Firstly, it's pretty well known that due to the easy accessibility of temporary ordination a small number do far worse. Secondly, this is a thread about James's lif...

Nevertheless, disrobing is a form of betrayal that can cause a crisis of faith for lay people who have relied on that monk to teach them the Dhamma. I think (novice) monks should live in isolation and not teach lays or publicy present themselves as representatives of the Dhamma until they are sure ...

(I may of course be wrong in my initial guess.) I see now, 85 votes means 85 ticks not 85 people. So there is no way of knowing how many people left checkboxes unticked, though I guess we could assume 18 people voted and 100% ticked the most offensive one, even so 18 people is a measure of disinter...

[Actually it's not 17% of respondents. There are 10 comments, and each is allocated a percentage of the total vote. The total percent is 100%. If a comment gets 17%, then that indicates it is more commonly viewed as a comment which could reasonably be taken personally. It does not mean 17% of respo...

I believe I am the only Member who has said anything nice or positive about other people here in this Topic. My efforts have been to respond in a measured, respectful way to the personalized comments, and to give praise where it is due. Do you think that any response other than non-response or bend...

When we do something which has an unintended consequence, we all (myself included) can recognize the kernel of truth regarding our role in the situation or conflict which has arisen conditioned by our words/actions. That's right, each time we hit the reply button we have the choice to escalate or d...

That's pretty much how I feel. I find it bizarre that people are reading "outbursts" and "prissiness" into this. Clearly they are taking your comments personally then, so should you take personal responsibility for the words or would it be better if they take personal responsibility for the reactio...