Explaining Things To Aliens – – Part 1 – Money

Hey aliens, how are ya? *laser gun points at my head* okay, okay, I’ll get started right away, Jeez! There’s this thing, right? It’s called money (mun – ee). It controls our lives, whether we’re conscious of the fact or not. Money comes in, mostly, paper form, and also in small metallic form – other forms are available, but cloth and beads and shark teeth have fallen out of favour, and today, paper and metal coin form remain the primary form of money.

A human being, in the present world, cannot do anything of any real value or importance without this thing called money. Everything on this planet costs money, right? Food, water, clothes, education, shelter, transportation and so on and so forth. Ah, I can see the puzzled expressions on your lovely green, slimy faces. Yeah, I know what you aliens are thinking, “What the hell is wrong with human beings?” *alien speaks to me* “Yes, you are all too chewy to eat.” No, not that, dear Alien, not that at all. I’m still talking about the whole money thing, remember? Good, I shall continue.

If a person has no money or very little money, they will find life extremely difficult. Their bodies will, over time, deteriorate with stress and probable disease. Whereas, a person with a lot of money will have no trouble living life. Life is about just a handful of things, right – food, water, shelter, warmth and maybe sex, if you insist. A wealthy person can afford much more of these essential components of life. Whereas a person with no or very little money cannot afford these most basic of life-giving things. That’s not right, is it, Aliens!?

Can you darling Aliens please give me some insight as to how your society works? Do you have money? Do you have the same problems we do?

“No. We do not have this thing called money. We have evolved far beyond the use for any type of money substances. Nothing on our planet costs anything. If you want something, you take it. If someone else takes what you want, you eat their family. It’s a trade-off, you see? You have to be very careful before you decide to take something you want. That is all.”

At this point, the Aliens took off in their spaceship, back to GlerkGlertioop12, their charmingly named planet.