Comments on: The Coinhttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/
Weddings. Minus the insanity, plus the marriage.Tue, 31 Mar 2015 20:46:00 -0700hourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.1By: nerninhttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/#comment-123832
Sat, 18 Aug 2012 14:47:05 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/the-coin/#comment-123832Most Latino countries don’t have any trouble figuring out generational name changes and no hyphen necessary!
]]>By: Kimberlyhttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/#comment-99476
Fri, 09 Mar 2012 03:54:02 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/the-coin/#comment-99476You can also point out to your husband it shouldn’t be “confusing, because then you never know what a newly married couple should be called” . . . you can always just ask what they decided to do (if anything).

Problem solved!

]]>By: Sharonhttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/#comment-97785
Mon, 27 Feb 2012 21:45:10 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/the-coin/#comment-97785Some folks in my boyfriend’s family have assumed that I will be taking his last name (addressing things to Mr. and Ms. Soandso instead of to our individual last names). I probably will, because I wasn’t too fond of my father and would rather not have his last name follow me unto my death, but the assumption somewhat annoys me.
]]>By: Hopehttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/#comment-96719
Sun, 19 Feb 2012 19:04:57 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/the-coin/#comment-96719It’s a UK passport.
]]>By: Rellahttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/#comment-96600
Fri, 17 Feb 2012 17:46:45 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/the-coin/#comment-96600Thanks for sharing your story. My husband and I have been pushing off our conversation about last names because it’s a hard one–I don’t feel like it should be assumed that I give up my last name, especially since I’m the last person in my family with this name (my brother past away a few year ago and my sister took her husband’s name).
]]>By: andthebeautyishttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/#comment-96163
Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:26:49 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/the-coin/#comment-96163My friend’s husband changed his name to hers – and I have to admit I was surprised. Delighted! but surprised. Considering the mental hoops my now-husband had to go through when I presented the idea of him considering a name change, I was surprised that a deeply Christian, family-oriented man would give up his name. It’s not backlash (I was thrilled!), but he was the first person I’d ever heard of to do that. And I was raised by non-conformists.
But it absolutely does happen, and the more we talk about it, the less surprised we all will be.
]]>By: tirzahrenehttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/#comment-95829
Mon, 13 Feb 2012 03:30:34 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/the-coin/#comment-95829I suddenly became hyper-aware of the fact that my future family would be the Russells, and I wouldn’t be a Russell.”

My first marriage involved marrying into a pre-existing family. Five kids.

I’m not particularly attached to my last name – it’s not one I find particularly beautiful, I don’t care for my father, I don’t really think of myself in association with my last name. But when I was getting married, I needed to NOT take the last name that everyone else had. I needed that symbolism that I was still ME, that I wasn’t going to just assimilate into the Borg collective (no, their last name was not Borg) and lose my uniqueness. I wanted to be very clear that I was bringing myself to the table and not becoming whoever I needed to to fit the family and not make waves.

Ultimately it worked out much easier when we got divorced, too, but that wasn’t why I did it.

Next time around I’m sure I’ll have the name discussion again. I’m still no more attached to my last name than I’ve ever been, and I’m no more interested in losing myself than before, but I think a major difference is that I’ve lived through enough that I don’t need a name to remind me that I am myself.

]]>By: Kamillehttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/#comment-95759
Sun, 12 Feb 2012 16:27:40 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/the-coin/#comment-95759I may just try your same suggestion on my fiancé. He goes by his middle name because he is a junior and has had no relationship with his father for over 20 years. Still, he is very insistent about me taking his last name and he is very attached to it.

My disclaimer: I’m not opposed at ALL to taking his last name, in fact I’ve decided already that I will. BUT, I do want him to at least understand that just as he has created an identity for himself using his full name, I have worked hard to develop an identity for myself in my career using MY full name.

]]>By: Emily BKhttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/#comment-95694
Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:56:42 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/the-coin/#comment-95694This is true even if you feel that way about your own family! My husband’s family is also a huge awesome clan, and seeing how his older sisters who changed their names are still 100% part of it made me feel more secure about changing mine. I really love my own family, and they’re a huge part of my identity, and I’m the first person of my generation to get married, while his sisters have been married almost 20 years and have kids; seeing how involved and present they are with the family that far down the line helped me realize that name changing isn’t necessarily a rejection of where you came from, even though it’s an acceptance of where you’re going.
]]>By: Emily BKhttp://apracticalwedding.com/2012/02/choosing-future-childrens-last-names-fairly-and-equally/#comment-95693
Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:51:14 +0000http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/01/the-coin/#comment-95693That’s awesome!
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