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Tuesday, 13 February 2018

To our kids, for Valentines Day

It's nearly valentines day. But you may be surprised to know that spouses and lovers receive are not the most popular recipients of valentines day cards. Teachers will receive the most Valentine's Day cards and this is followed closely by children, then mothers, wives, sweethearts and pets. Having had three crushes on teacher's I can see why, and now as mum to three, the love I have for my precious bundles is huge - and as much for all may kids, additional needs and not.
I once remember talking to a friend awaiting the birth of their second child and they said to me:

"How will I be able to love another child like the first. I love our little girl so much."

And I said:

"It's like each time you grow another heart."

Sometimes it can seem that my kids are hard to love. They are of course challenging, but they are not harder to love because of their difficulties. I grew an extra heart for all my kids and I love the individuals they are. Anthony is so true and brave, David has the most delightful laugh and I think Jane wants to make the world a better place.

And these are just one thing about them. So I asked some other parents of special educational needs kids and siblings what they loved about their kids and I'm sharing them here to celebrate them for Valentines Day.

I love that my daughter doesn’t judge anyone, instead she is excited by people’s differences and wants to know more about them.

I love that despite my daughter being unable to speak, she can communicate her love clearly 😍❤️ www.mamaunexpected.com

I love how my son finds happiness in the simple things in life..makes you pause and appreciate them too...also his younger sister who also has Sen I love how she has embraced sign language to enable her to communicate

I love Oscars strength and determination. Not only because he has overcome heart surgery, and needs on going surgeries on his ears but his ability to try and make himself understood is a force to be reckoned with. He may be a little guy of few words but he doesn’t let that hold him back
www.dontbesorry.net

I love that my autistic daughter has an amazing imagination and can create stories - and she gets really involved in a topic. Just like right now, when I sat down for my quiet tea, and she comes in and is telling me all about an event at the Science museum that she wants to run for her Superkids club (children aged 6-9, that she wants to set up and run herself 😏). And she uses such funny learnt phrases that I’d never use in a million years, like ‘they answer the questions, and then rinse and repeat’

I love how enthusiastic my autistic daughter gets about things others would take for granted or not notice, for example a robin chirping in the garden; her attention to detail and that at 13 she’s got no body issues. I also love that she loves cuddles!
I love that my autistic son has a passion for football, that he absorbs football facts like a sponge and that he plays in a football team and is a team player.
autismmumma.com

I love that Harry constantly surprises me ...whether it’s with his new words or his skills. I’m blessed to feel the excitement and elation that new parents feel as they celebrate the ‘firsts’. www.ouralteredlife.com

I love how Joseph has a personality and that you can see he has inherited family traits. Joseph first, autism second. I love how he isn’t a child genius but he’s still learning every single day. His achievements are massive milestones for us, however small they seem to others.
I love that he has step-siblings that although he has only known them 5 years, it feels like they have been together all their lives. They see Joseph and not the autism. His step-sister said in the summer “he’s like everyone else, just with an upgrade”

I love how Tink has the most amazing sense of humour! She's so funny - and she knows it. And I love how protective H is of his little sister, even though she drives him up the wall often! www.itsatinkthing.com

I love that my 2 are so different to each other. One academic, one creative. And I love the fact that they just never give up - if they really want to do something they find a way to do it.
lifeandotherstoriesblog.wordpress.com/

I love how empathetic my eldest daughter is towards everyone she meets. Growing up with Jude as her brother has given her a vision that not many people are gifted with. She cares so much and will help anyone who needs it

I love how determined, strong willed and patient Lyla is. I wish I had an ounce of her determination. There are so many things I love about her big brother but focusing on his life as a sibling of a child with a severe disability, I love how much he loves her and how he wants to make her laugh and thinks she is really funny. It’s such a gorgeous relationship.

His smile. And the way he curls his hair round and round his peanut-buttery/baked-bean-covered fingers. But mostly that smile - it melts hearts big time. Even mine just after he's thrown something hard at me.

The determination and strength of character that Violet displays, she never ever gives up. Her smile lights up the room and everyone falls under her spell immediately. Her unique and cheeky sense of humour and above all the way she talks to me with her eyes. Rainmakestheflowersgrow.wordpress.com

I love that my son Leo is so funny and his willing to give everything a go even when he knows his cerebral palsy will try and stop him. I love how witty he is and how that he still loves cuddles at 12 years old. Leo has only been walking 8 years his is my hero

I love hi grateful my son is every single time he gets food...even when I have cooked it! He is the only person who actually loves my cooking. Maybe his visual impairment means he doesn’t care how it looks and his sensory seeking means as long as it tastes educable it’s fine! www.faithmummy.wordpress.com

I love how my son tries to use logical thinking to his advantage. Like giving his sister his £10 gift voucher, and then asking for £20 as his sister has £20 and he has nothing.

And what I love most about my eldest is that she cares about me and her sister so much. And despite being shy and not very confident, she has thrown herself into trying things (eg fencing) that I never thought she would.

I love your comment about growing an extra heart. It’s something I think about now we’re trying for another baby. I love little man so much that it’s hard to imagine loving anyone else that much. But I know I will x

Lovely to read all these! A few of the things I love about my (autistic) son is how he lives in the moment, how his mind works in fascinating ways, his beautiful smile and his lovely hugs. 💗 #SpectrumSunday

What a wonderful way to celebrate our amazing children. I love your analogy of growing an extra heart each time you have a child. What a lovely way to describe the endless love parents have for their children.

What is Autism?It's so much I couldn't possibly try and explain. For us it's wonderful and heart-breaking. Joyous and truthful. But as far as diagnosis is concerned, why not have a look at the National Autistic Society for their definition of Autism.

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