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Monday, January 25, 2010

That Girl

Okay, so my sis had this pic of her from like, the 90's on Facebook. And I was like, "What. The. Heck is that?" and she schooled me that it was something like throwback picture week or whatever. And I was like, "I will kill you if you put up a pic of me from the 90s."

So front forward (yes, I know that's wrong. My DH laughs every time I say it.) a couple of weeks. I was getting dressed last week, and I'd recently cleaned off my dressertop. Thus, I could see the family pics from about 10 years ago sitting there.

And I looked at that girl.

And I tried to make her into me.

It didn't work.

Because I'm not that girl. Back then, I was a completely different person than I am today. And it felt weird. It felt so totally bizarre to be in my skin, and look at that girl and think about the life she lived in a different skin.

So then I went all nostalgic and pulled out a bunch more pictures.

Me, with a mullet. I look about eight, maybe, and I guess I caught eight fish that day.

How did that girl (↑) become this girl?(↓) The one not afraid to wear socks that don't match, and orange shoes and pose like an idjit for her girl's choice picture?(Yes, I have on a jean vest. 90's baby.)

Or this one? (↓) (That's me and my grandma and my sis. Leather is sooo much better than denim. At least I lost the bangs, right? And yes, that's the Canadian maple leaf with deer antlers behind me. My parents still have panelling. I mean, PANELLING. Yikes! Let the snarfing begin.)

And how did those girls become this one?

I think I know the answer.

Life.

I almost started crying.

And then, as I always do, I began thinking about my MC. See, she's been giving me fits lately. Through all the editing, in the beginning of the book I keep trying to make her someone--she--just--hasn't--become--yet.

And holy blazing light bulb moment.

Just like mine, her life is a character arc. (Yes, those words freak me out.) And just as I'm molded and shaped and changed by things that happen in my life, so is my MC.

And just like me, she is not the same at the beginning of her story as she is at the end.

Now, this isn't the first time I've thought about charcter arcs. It's just not something I pay attention to while I'm writing. Like, at all.

But I will now. Because I've internalized it.

What have you learned about writing from your real life? Am I the only one practically bawling when I see myself from ten years ago? (Okay, fifteen, sheesh.)

80 comments:

I have recently had a lot of trips down memory lane too. And it keeps getting worse. But the more I think about my life, the more I can transfer the energy and passion of my past into my characters, and therefore my future. It's comforting and frightening at the same time.

I've learned that every action has a reaction. If my MC does something stupid, there is a consequence. Every choice, minor or major, has an impact, and that is mainlyl what I write about: choices/impacts.

If the characters don't grow, don't discard those denim vests, the leather, the mullets, if they don't change, then they aren't living. They're just stuck in a photo with really bad hair (big, permed hair, side by side with their sisters at Christmas, which they now refer to as The Christmas of the Big Hair - yes, talking about me)! In hindsight, I learned that big hair is not a good look. Thus, I hope my characters, in hindsight, learn something about themselves so they can move forward.

Great post, and love the pics! Oh, and we had paneling growing up. Luckily, we moved from that house!

There are some horribly bad pictures of me out there (some that my parents insist on keeping up for public display--I got in on the whole 80's perm thing), and in the past, I've tried to divorce myself from that girl.

I think that trying, instead, to integrate that old self, and the past--allowing that insecure girl be who she was, a part of me-- teaches me more about my characters and writing them.

Although some characters do try to deny the past (and not just that one picture with the frizzy hair and teal green dress, but the whole past), and I imagine it comes back to bite them.

I love this! You're so sweet in all your pictures. You personality shines through, and I love the last one when you come to your most recent self. What a great lesson in arcing our characters. I'll have to map out my new WIP in a different light.

I think we all have the same issues going through the journey of life, just at different times in our life. My experiences seep their way into stories and help make characters more rounded....I hope lol!

And, this is the part of writing that sometimes challenges me the most...taking that journey. I was told in my last work that the MC was too perfect too early and I had to go back and revise that. In the end, it was better but it was difficult work.

You are a brave soul to post old pics, Elana. I’m sooo glad that I live 1500 miles from my parents these days. It means my friends are pretty much guaranteed to never see pics of me before my own personal character arc. :)

Very insightful stuff. I definitely agree that character growth and change is an integral part of a good story. Static characters are unrealistic. We are shaped by our experiences and our surroundings; our characters should do the same.

Funny you should post about MCs today. I had an MC epiphany as well over the weekend that I decided to share this morning. Coincidence? Or was it something in the snow? :)

Love this trip down memory lane. I used to be one of those people that was consumed with the what ifs. These days I realize events had to unfold the way they did to become the person I am. Life lessons are the greatest source of inspiration for a character. In the same instance, you can also freely play with all those elusive what if moments.

Every time I think I've just about become worthy to kneel at your toes, you launch skyward with no fear and leave us all behind. This is a truly brave and awesome post, Elana. Ain't no way I'd post the ugly days of yesteryear (okay, maybe if I was drunk or something, but anyway). Seriously though, this is a great post and an really interesting way to think about characterization. Thanks for sharing with us.

So, true. I'm nothing like I was. I wish I could have just skipped ahead without having to go through some of those less than stellar stages, but then I would have missed out on living. A good reminder now when writing character arcs in fiction, they need to happen.

Wow! You are BLONDE! :) Cute pics too! I get what you mean about change. I am SO not the person I was 20 or even 10 years ago. And as for character arc... Ya, it's one of those things I don't like to think about. That's a toughy for me. Maybe I'd better get to internalizing ;)

It's amazing to see how much you change externally through the pictures, and then when you think really hard, you realize just how much you've changed internally that ends up radiating through your appearance.

You're a doll, Elana! Thanks so much for sharing and for reminding us that people (real and imaginary) change.

Oh, Catherine, for me it's all relief. I mean, fishing? Gross. I can't even believe I did that!

Thanks for the kind words. At least none of you are making fun of the mullet! Or the deer antlers. I think my dad still has those somewhere. And my mom buys them on eBay for her gourd art. I wish I were kidding. But this is the same woman who plucked quills from a dead porcupine on the side of the road.

I love to read your blog! I have learned that I write most authentically when I can relate to my character on a personal level, when there is a small piece of me or my own experiences in what I am writing.

To think at one point in my life I was a total introvert and had no friends...the quiet type whose mother had to go to a teacher conference because my teachers thought something was honestly wrong with me. WOW. No one would recognize that girl now.

I definitely think it's worth putting this into our characters as we write...thanks for sharing!!!

Okay, it took me a minute to recognize you with the long blond hair! :) Love the pics!! Hmmm, now I'm wanting (sorta) to find some of mine LOL Except I'd probably get all depressed looking at how skinny I was way back when, despite the horrid clothes :D

Whoa! This is one of my favorite posts of yours! I really didn't recognize you with blond hair.

I don't consciously think about character arcs when I write, but I do know that my MC better not be the same at the end of the book as she was at the beginning. Now I'm going to watch this during my last edit before querying. Eek!

I've learned that no one fits into a mold...but most people aren't that far off from a mold either. It's finding that spot in between that defines both people and characters. That's where you find who they and you really are.

I think each person is all the people they have ever been - the facets just rotate. Glimmers of the once, or future, self take it in turns to shine - hence the unexpected wisdom of youth or the free-fall descent into infantile mayhem.

Thanks for calling by and following, Elana - I was delighted to find you there. Great hook for your book, by the by. :)

Rockin' pictures. And what an important thing to think about...I'm a YA girl myself, and I think with all the fantasy elements thrown in, simple Growing Up and even things like evolving tastes in clothing :D get shuffled to the wayside. Thanks for this...

This brought such a smile...and the desire to dig out old pictures...but I'm have, ahem, a few years on you, and the progression would take a lot longer. The good news is that old as I am, I am as happy with myself as I have ever been, regardless of the hairstyle!

Great post. I believe that life is the perfect starting place to create a character. Every choice has a different path where people turn out differently, characters need to have a life to be able to feel realistic.

Love those pics. I think you look like you. I posted on looking like me not long ago. I shaved off my hair recently and I love it. I look back on photos of me and think the same as you. "How did I become who I am today?" And my answer is the same as yours too. Life. I would also add that a great deal of healing has gone into my learning to look like me and love it. Great post. Thanks for the photos. Very brave :)

This post really struck me. Why? Because I feel like that everyday. How did the girl I am evolve from that girl of yesterday? When applied to characters, it's useful but sometimes almost as painful. I should be laughing and all but I'm not because I see my old pictures and wonder how I got where I am and who I am now. I'm all...nostalgic over this post. I'm not sure if I should thank you or send you a bill for future therapy sessions. You could always pay me in ginger ale.

Your first picture is the same haircut I got right before Christmas a month ago. It's the merger of the bowl cut and mullet. I call it the bullet. I'm not even kidding right now.

Imagine a thirty-two, ahem...I mean twenty-nine year old with THAT haircut. So attractive, I assure you. At least when you had it was in style and you were a child. The cute freckles totally help you pull it off! Okay, that had nothing to do with the question you asked, but I had to share. :)

Holy cow. I don't even want to open that door to the 90's because I had big hair and jean vests and the whole thing. Scary. I feel I, too, have changed drastically over the years, which is a pretty good thing. Great post. :D

O.M.G. Thank goodness there is someone else out there that had a mullet! My husband actually asked my sister (Purple Clover) why mom cut my hair into a "party on the top" and left hers alone. My sister smiled, "Because she loved me."

Those are great pictures. I know how you feel about looking back 10 or 15 years and feeling like...well, like crying. Sometimes it's so fun to see how far things have come and sometimes it baffles me how it becomes harder and harder to be that carefree girl who had all the energy in the world. Yeah, life. It gets to you.

I'm really having to examine this with the character in my new WIP. She's just about to turn 30 and suddenly she realizes that she's accomplished so much but none of that has really made her grow as a person. She's become a product of years of hard work, of routine, of necessity and she doesn't know who she really is or how to be anyone but who she's created. Ahh...sounds familiar. I guess we really do infuse a lot of our own lives into our characters sometimes.

Fantastic post, Elana. 10 years ago, I was a teenaged bride-to-be who still hadn't dealt with losing her dad and couldn't wait for her "real" life to begin. Sometimes I fall into that pattern with a book, I keep waiting for the story to get moving, for the real living to begin. Yet, silly me, the character's story has already started.

I loved the photos and the memmories you shared. :) In high school, I had the Olivia Newton John look...In college and sadly for the next 15 years, I had big hair. (Even worse, I missed my big hair.) In the early 2000's I straightened and cut my hair. (Man, I miss my big hair!) I wonder if my characters all miss their big hair days????

don't judge me, but I love that pic of me, you and granny great. I think you look awesome! My pants have a really high waist; however. I also think my shirt is tucked in. I love you, sister. You are brave to post these photos!!!

Oh my word, you're adorable, now and then. Loving the orange shoes!My goodness, I just love those magic moments when life presents you with little epiphanies. Congrats on the breakthrough! Makes me want to go digging through old pictures.

We are definitely shaped through our experiences. I laugh and cry when I look at pictures of me and think back of the joys and heartaches that make me the current me that I am. I often wonder if the now me told the then me what I know now if I would change anything.

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