Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Notification from the Embassy

Well well well. Just got a phone call from Mother to let me know that I didn't get the job as CIR on the JET program. The letter finally arrived this morning.

Initial reaction is of course one of disappointment. They don't disclose why they turn people down, but I'm guessing it's either because I'm delusional in thinking that I was up for the job, or because of my insistence that being near Tokyo (where *Twinkle* is) is important to me (and there are very few positions available in that region). I knew this was a gamble, and it was recommended that I not do that by friends currently on the scheme as it makes them nervous of offering you a position in case you turn it down - but I didn't think it fair on them to lie.

It was in any case a very worthwhile experience, having had to attend that interview and all. I learnt a fair bit through that and am grateful for it. And, whatever the reason for it, I'm sure they made the right decision. I've emailed the program director to thank her for considering my application in any case (I know her through having done some advertising for them).

The next reaction is one of excitement. I now have this big blank canvas that is my life after July 25th. Ok, so it's going to be Tokyo-centred, but other than that...?

One issue now is actually getting to Tokyo - having no savings and a wedding to pay for means I'm going to be pretty broke. Well, very broke actually.

Looking at job vacancies in Tokyo most specify that the applicant must currently reside in Japan. That's not really an excuse to not update my CV and get on with looking though, although it'll have to wait a few weeks until my dissertation is out the way.

Hmm. I'm intrigued to hear how this story will unfold. I guess I'll just have to watch this space.

3 Comments:

It's a pity you didn't get into Jet, but it's definitely a good thing that you'll be able to be as close to twinkle as you want! At least you know for certain now whats going to happen, I feel I'm still completely lost as to what I'm doing after uni... I'm not definitely on jet, but I feel like i shouldn't start making other plans yet in case I do get in..

This is probably me projecting my emotional response onto you, but I have this feeling that you're holding in some far greater disappointment and trying to redirect your feelings along a positive path. If so, this is a good thing, but not if you bottle up any grief you feel over this opportunity passing you by.

That being said, I've come to learn through T.'s experiences and my own that jobs you don't get often end up being ones that were bad fits. T. searched for a job about 4 years ago (about a year before I quit OBC) and missed out on a job at a school that ended up deteriorating into a mess people complain about all the time (not Nova) and turned down a job at another place because it felt wrong for him. He ended up with a job he really likes in circumstances that suit him.

I figure you didn't get this because you weren't meant to and it would have been bad for your development in some way. Something better suited to you is likely in your future. It's just going to take patience.

Do they give you any deadline by which they might tell you that they need you?

Shari: I've been wondering about how I really feel about this, in particular, am I trying to save face by pretending I'm not overly disappointed?

I don't think I am. My belief that there is some kind of reason for everything is pretty strong these days, I practice it constantly, and am delighted on a daily basis by the connections I see.

Cynics may say that I am just drawing my own imaginary lines between events that have no connection, so as to 'prove' my theory correct or give myself some false sense of comfort; that I am just going into denial.

They may be 'right'. But my experience of life, my reality IS filled with these links that demonstrate that all 'bad' things always have goodness in them (and as for other people's perceptions of my reality, well, that's none of my business).

Thus, there isn't really any sense of profound disappointment, because clearly, for some reason that path wasn't for me. There's not much point in my regretting anything because I have no idea what that future might have held, and I have no idea what my 'new' future will hold. If I had some talent of seeing my own multiple possible futures there might be room for disappointment, but fortunately that's a gift I don't have.

I was just talking to *twinkle* about what I could do now. I really have no idea. Been toying with the idea of staying in the UK for a month or so longer to save up the money to move to Japan. I'm also considering teaching for one of the big language schools for a while until I settle down.

I really don't know. I think the thing to do is for me to actively pursue available avenues, and see what pans out.