I have cancer and Shit Is Going Down, and I need somewhere to write about it. I want somewhere to share about what this process is like. I plan to be entirely honest here, and open. This might be disturbing to some of you, so if you're uncomfortable with that, I totally get it and encourage you to avoid reading.

In other words, here’s what I’m coming to terms with: I have a severe chronic illness. It takes a tremendous amount of time and energy to manage my symptoms and make the necessary accommodations for myself in order to get things done. For twenty years I didn’t do that.

My mother told me the usual childhood lies: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, there’s no such thing as monsters. I understand those lies. I forgive them. What I can’t forgive are the other lies she told me. The lies she told me about myself.