Horsley: All the 'news' isn't fit to print

Back in the day, everyone got their news from one credible source: a newspaper similar to the one you are reading. It was written by professionals, and most people trusted newspapers to present reasonably reliable facts along with entertainment and advertising.

Then along came radio, adding another layer of fact-gathering and entertainment. Early radio news was handled mostly by professionals such as Edward R. Murrow and Eric Sevareid. We trusted those guys to present news as devoid of “spin” as possible.

Even the advent of TV news didn’t seriously damage the trust we placed in people like Walter Cronkite to bring serious news and add to what newspapers and radio already did.

Fast forward a few decades to the advent of cable and Internet news. Suddenly it’s hard to tell the news from non-news, semi-news and pseudo-news. With bloggers adding their two cents’ worth, anybody can be a journalist these days. Credibility is no longer required.

With so many sources for news, we’re bound to get slanted versions at best, and crazy versions at worst. “People are crazy and times are strange,” wrote the poet, and never were truer words spoken if one surveys media outlets today.

For example, here is a sampling of news stories from just one day last week on a popular global news source, CNN. In its early days, CNN was a fairly reliable source for news, so much so that during the first Gulf War, even our military was learning about the war through CNN. And before you get lathered up about how wack CNN has become, most major Internet news organizations are just as crazy.

“Mom: My son was no zombie.” Note to mom: If that’s the best compliment you could think of, I recommend counseling to work on your parenting skills. “I’m so proud that my son never became a zombie” isn’t the ringing endorsement it once was.

“Should NYC tell you what to drink?” This headline links to a story about New York City banning large sugary drinks because they add to the obesity problem. It’s hard to pick from among the sarcastic responses to this question, so I won’t even try, except to say I recommend counseling for Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

“Senator: Is your home toxic?” Probably, Senator, but it’s in a 12-step program even as we speak.

“Dr. Oz reveals secret of the G-spot.” First, I never take medical advice from someone named Dr. Oz. Second, the G-spot hasn’t been a “secret” since the 1970s. Third, the headline links to a story about the “A-spot and the U-spot and what they can do for you.” With so many letters swirling around in our heads, don’t be surprised if your partner finds the ZZZZZZ spot during sex.

“Pastor: Government should kill gays.” (I’m not making these up, by the way. These all came from one day’s headlines.) I didn’t follow the link, but I’m sure that if I had, it would have taken me to a story about an obscure “pastor,” using the term loosely, somewhere advocating something so patently stupid that he deserves to remain obscure. Instead, he gets his name and his message sent around the world. I sentence the pastor and his flock to group sensitivity training.

“New image: Miami face-bite attack.” If the mere thought of a demented man biting the face of another man isn’t revolting enough and you’ve just GOT to see the pictures, then this site is for you. And don’t forget to have your 44-ounce sugary drink by your side when you visit the site, and maybe a bowl of popcorn. When you’ve finished viewing the pictures, go straight to counseling.

In 2012 it’s hard to tell serious inquiry from The National Enquirer. How did we get to this place? Hint: Media outlets spend millions researching what people most want to hear and see and then give it to us.

Slam the media all you want — most of the criticism will be deserved; but keep in mind the only reason a face-eating zombie is in our face every day is because that’s what people are most interested in.

We’ve done it to ourselves.

David Horsley is an Amarillo author and freelance writer, who teaches English at West Texas A&M University.