Not sure if this will work but let’s see if I can resurrect my brain-vomit blog and talk shite here so the peoples of FB and Twitter won’t be directly subjected to it. It’s a new, new year (several, in fact), much shit has gone done, many things have changed. Anyhoo, I’m too pissed and tired (thanks DAD for the pints earlier) to write much else. I’ve managed to get back into this until now defunct blog.

Another lazy posting I put on FB and copied here…re: a post a friend (male) put up on famous men who are feminists and some dick was trolling…

Names have been redacted. Comments in Italics are two super people. Bold is the muppet who admitted to being a troll and posted some nonsense……

One in three women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime. In Australia one woman is killed by her partner/former partner Every Week. The gender pay gap. Unequal pay. Culturally ingrained objectification/sexualisation of girls. Victim blaming. Sexual harassment on the street (my winner of the week was at 9.30am yesterday morning). These are reasons why feminism is both important and necessary. Feminism advocates social, cultural, political and economic equality for both sexes. Hence men can be feminists. It’s really about wanting things to be fair and lovely and equal – what’s wrong with that? The tired stereotyping of feminists as men-hating nutbars is just another way to derail and dismiss any kind of debate around misogyny. Usually the people bleating on about other people’s “imaginary” disadvantages are the least likely to experience them themselves. “Crying rape” is one of them. For women in any country sexual assault is a real threat. One in three women will be able to tell you from personal experience. Naomi is right; more women are refusing to stay silent on these issues, even though when we debate them in public forums, such as on Facebook (Clementine Ford’s FB is a great example) the discussion is hijacked by men posting offensive nonsense, pictures of rape, threats and generally being awful human beings. #NotAllMen The frequent refusal to engage in any proper conversation about feminism and equality issues by mocking and deriding women striving for equality, refusing to accept that issues facing women are real (and backed up by things like statistics and facts) is at best very immature and at worse mind-bogglingly offensive. It’s unhelpful. there are many men out there who have taken the time to view the world from a woman’s point of view, who have listened, talked, considered and support equality. When you break it down – it’s not really that hard.

The guys that are all a bit sad and down on feminism on your FB page have really disappointed me, Anton. I was hoping for some vigorous verbal jousting or at least some response. A small, small part of me hopes they are considering what I’ve said. In any case, I’m terribly glad they haven’t come back with “you need a good hard dick” or “you should be raped/you are too ugly to be raped” – two of my all-time favourite comebacks and yes, I’ve kept them.. I’m glad there is respect on your page, even if it is silence. But BTW I’m available for all convos involving feminism, misogyny, the points outlined above etc. And I don’t hate men. I love men. I’m related to many men, I have lovely male friends, I have sex with men. Do not hate men. Compared with other women around the world/women of colour/gay women/women with a disability (woah, you should see those sexual assault stats), I’ve got it good. But that doesn’t mean I will stop fighting for the common good, or for other people’s rights. As a bonus round, I have experienced some of the things I mentioned earlier. In next week’s episode: How Feminism Helps Men by Eroding Gender Stereotypes and also How It Helps Children Who are Victims of Domestic Violence Like Their Mother (don’t even start with the “it happens to men too bullshit – of course it does, but that’s another conversation entirely. If you’re so bloody concerned about it, then start one, don’t derail this one). Being able to vote, own our own property, be in charge of our own bodies and reproductive systems is awesome, albeit quite late in the piece and (w regards to #3, under threat by fucktards in the Senate and NSW Gov). I can’t help but figure that men’s reproductive rights were under threat we wouldn’t have this problem. However, with the exception of “fucktards” (Cory Bernardi, anyone?) I try to be civil and enter into honest debate. I don’t threaten to rape anyone if I disagree with them. I’m actually terribly nice. So if you have questions about feminism – which is not a sense of Humour bypass, a man-hating cult, or a bunch of menstruating women trying to get back at blokes because Biology, then just ask. I may correct your grammar if I am annoyed, but you will get only respectful and honest debate, if you wish to take this up. And no matter your stance before/after, I will respect you for dealing with this issue politely, intelligently and like a decent human being. Failing that, I will post pictures of cats wearing ties. Shuts up the haters in 2 cats.

SO. According to that veritable website CougarLife, a “cougar” starts at 34 years old. I’ll just pick two holes in this advert/argument: Firstly, I very much doubt anyone can be a Professor at 34. Unless she was a child genius and therefore, in all probability, socially awkward and possibly backward. Hang on – that makes sense. But in any case she BASICALLY CANNOT BE A PROF at 34. No, really

Secondly; 34 is the age of a “cougar” ??? I. Can’t. Even.

I’ve had relationships/and maybe nights of fun – I’m not telling – with men five years younger than me and men 12 years younger than me. I’ve also had similar with men 10-15 years older than me. And men roughly the same age as me.

So what have we learned, chaps?

For the ladies:

If you’re over 30 and you’re shagging someone younger, you’re a Cougar.

If you’re shagging someone around your own age, with a similar wage/social status/etc, then you’re normal. As long as you live together and be all normal and shit.

Brilliant. Glad we’ve cleared that thing up.

If you’re a hetero-normative man, aged 36 (or one-three years older, that’s the max) who owns his own house, earns 100k+ a year and wants to drop a cool $20k on getting married at some delightful venue where the chicken is sub-par, is willing to convince me to have the grandchildren your Mother desperately wants and put up with your boat blocking up the driveway, apart from when you go fishing-drinking with your sexist mates, live in a McHouse in Perth with lovely benchtops and perfect downlighting and go to the one pub in the area once a month and make me drive when we go there, then Bring It. I’ll be hiding, thank you very much societal expectations.

Really, all I need is sex and a handyman. And I’ve got both of those. So what’s that? Not a Lesbian. Not a Spinster. Not a Cougar. Not a Gold digger. Oh God! Where Is My Label???

FFS I am a woman. A person. That is all. Just as all the complex, interesting, selfish, giving, confused, smart, shitty, regular NORMAL other women described above are. And most of us have absolutely no idea what we are doing.

1. On a scale of 1-10, how much taxpayers’ money was wasted while I and the graphic designer did a whole bunch of work for idiots, argued the toss with said idiots, capitulated, did their stupid fucking irrelevant stuff anyway, only to be told FINALLY that we should not do the work for the idiots, but do what we have advocated all along?

2. Between 10 minutes and three hours, how much time have I spent doing my freelance work tonight? And as a bonus round – how many glasses of red have I consumed and how many games of Candy Crush have I played?

3. If 100 is homicide and 1 is slightly annoyed, where was I on the scale today when my middle-aged colleague would not STFU about utter bloody nonsense? BONUS: How any times did she say things in an infantalised/childish voice? BONUS BONUS: how many times did I wish I was dead and could not hear her?

4. Have I been given a designated desk next to her in the new office yes/no?

5. How many times did a lady in the office mention food and how they can’t possibly eat anything apart from kale until Sunday because someone had a birthday and they just ate a massive slice of Blackforest Gateau for Morning Tea?

6. Number of times I felt like stabbing someone who tried to walk into the lift before I had walked out? What is WRONG with you people?

7. How many charity muggers did I have to dodge just to get a sandwich 35m from my office?

8. How many creepy men sat next to me on the bus when there were PLENTY of very very empty seats? How old was he? Did he sit too close and did he try to touch me? Did I enjoy it?

9. How long did it take the other ladies in the office to STFU after our team meeting and stop gossiping/harassing me because I wasn’t joining in because I was (and told them I was) writing a Very Important ministerial document that was due earlier this morning. How many times did they hush and stage-whisper “see! she’s not even listening – she’s working, she’s concentrating.”?

10. What is the nationality and age of my neighbour, whom I once had round for a drink but then politely declined to have dinner with at his house and now hates me? Like really, really hates me, to the point of being overtly disgusted and rude whenever I pass him and say hello. Also – does he steal my newspaper in the morning?

SUPER BONUS SPIRIT ROUND! WIN NEW LIVES!

a) How do I fix the broken M button on this laptop? It’s lurching around like a drunken sailor because I tried to take it off and fix it. My bad.

b) Why is my cat so needy?

c) When will this thin veneer of normality shatter and expose me as the mental child-woman I really am?

And yes, there are prizes. For the winners out there, I’ve got a selection of Scottishanalia sent by my mother. Certified Kitsch, Kailyard and Tourismo.

This post needs very little explanation. Suffice to say I have a) written to the little cunt’s school principle b) am chasing down cunt 2 and c) have good leads on cunt 3, who deleted all his vile comments once ‘the media’ was raised.

This is the pic that started it all:

You cannot get away with this bullshit, whether you are 16 or 60. What y’all can’t see from this screen-shot-thingy is that the worst offender – Steve Parker, who posted images of rape, told a commenter to ‘kill herself’ and was basically vile – deleted all his crap. He privately messaged Clementine Ford to “explain” why he did so. It appears – fucking ironically – that she’s been banned from FB AGAIN. Despite calling out horrific images of rape and abuse, those images are never removed from FB as they don’t violate any policy. Yet an acclaimed journo who brings attention to it is penalised. Way to go, Facebook.

Alina Agaronyan Steve you are so silly. Lets say your girlfriend is asleep, and then one of your male friends gently inserts his penis into her vagina. Then she wakes up. It’s not hard to get. That’s what the pic is about bro.

Megan Joan Rees Steve is obviously an avid defender of women’s rights and campaigns against female circumcision on a regular basis.

James Borchert Shouldn’t all you woman be cooking dinner or doing the laundry. Pleasing your man/lesbian lover.

Chantelle Bennett Aaaaaah, I do feel sad for the people who have to get their needs for attention met by being ‘controversial’ on Facebook. How clever and powerful they must feel telling online strangers to kill themselves! How fearsome and godlike they must feel, strewing ignorance around like flower petals! How puzzled they must be that although demigods online, real actual human relationships are a thing of mystery, and wrought only from contact with those who are equally baffled that the world hasn’t yet canonised them for their ‘red pill’ insight! Life is hard.

Dame-Sir Rayna Lamb Steve Parker, as someone who *is* actually `a spastic’ (I have Cerebral Palsy) and a feminist, you can fuck right off with your misogynist and ableist insults. I very much doubt you that you really do give a damn about the `real suffering of women’. Try typing with both hands on the keyboard.

Carla Martins Clem I nearly always get this response. But when I follow through with the options of feedback after the report and raise my concerns again, I find then that it is almost always removed. I think the first must be automatic and the second must actually be looked at by someone.

Anne Slater I tried to get a page removed, it was called something along the lines of “I’m 12 Mum, I can do what I want” and featured barely teens practising to be porn stars. Supposedly it was fine by Facebook standards.
I came across it when my 12yr old cousin shared something from it.

Caleb Runge how does this promote sexual assault and victim blaming? It sounds like you’re being an uptight scrag trying to make everything out to be offensive towards women. Grow up.

*************NOTE: This guy is related to both of the BORCHERT guys. Nice role models, huh?

Jessica Anne Friedmann Jesus Clem if this is a tenth of what you go through on a regular day, then all the respect in the world to you. Raising a glass in spirit.

Chris Collins Facebook is run by people like Nathaniel, that’s why they never remove anything offensive. X (

(Steve’s GF posts some vile rape images…)

Caleb Runge For your information Marie I am sixteen, and as Steve said I am sick of your feminist bullshit. And i was not telling anyone how the world is i was just implying that the picture had nothing to do with sexual assault and victim blaming. And if you want to continue being a smartass you firstly need to be smart because at the moment you’re just looking like an ass.

Bec Hayes Wow. Steve – stop digging your own grave is my suggestion, your defensiveness and fowl language towards others on this post suggests remorse with the post? Just remove it, apologise and be done with it. Move on, otherwise I’ll enjoy seeing you on some form of live TV show apologising anyway. You’ve clearly offended people which shows it is wrong on some levels so stop defending it.

Petra Nolan What I find almost as disturbing as Steve Parker’s misogynistic hate-fuelled fury is the fact that there are women clicking like for his comments. Unbelievable.

Bec Hayes When I go to work tomorrow and work with the autistic children on my caseload, I’ll be sure to spread on your well wishes onto to their carers. I’ll say hello to the sexual assault victims for you as well if you like.

James Borchert Hahaha some form of live tv show. Yeah because the new snatches up every post on Facebook that people have an augment about.

Look out Steve this might land you on the 7 o’clock news hahahaha.

Sophie Redtomato Ladies, LADIES, this CARTOON isn’t rape. Say did any of you hear about the young girl in a village in India who was sentenced to being raped because her brother was accused of a sexual assault? She’d probably vomit on you all for making such a fuss about a cartoon like this. Shame on you.

Courtney O’Byrne I have never read such vile comments in my life . Steve Parker you need psychiatric help at the least, locking up away from society at the most. Very distressing.

Vashti Violet I got that reply to a complaint about a xenophobic and racist page opposing a mosque in Currumbin on the Gold Coast. It was disgusting but that’s acceptable in the fb community. Sickening.

Petra Nolan As for making the debate ugly, personal and ad hominem, Steve Parker, you seem to the setting the gold standard for that. Pot kettle black? And don’t hold back with some puerile comeback about my appearance or my transgression of being a woman with a view and a voice and a moral conscience, but that’s fine. Bring it on. Makes you sound even more like a seven year old in the playground.

Gaz Crooke Hey Steve – you are an arsehole. Just Fuck off and find a rock to climb under. Parasite.

Caleb Runge Oh I’m sorry I got 2 spelling errors in my last comment because I couldn’t give 2 shits to fix them, and talking about education it seems as though I would have more smarts in one of my brain cells then you do in that thick head of yours. And how does it make you feel having a fight over the internet with a sixteen year old when you’re around the age of 40? Does it make you fell big and smart? does it make you feel better about yourself?

James Borchert Use ladies just keep feeding. Us trolls never stop getting hungry.

ME: Chad – look it up in the dictionary. That should help. Caleb – you’ve been nothing but rude in your comments. Honestly, if you’ve got nothing constructive to add then go and leave the adults to talk.

Jessica Anne Friedmann Chad, in good faith – the women on this board are fighting to be perceived as more than pieces of meat.

The unspoken ‘punchline’ to the comic is ‘going ahead, fuck her anyway, you know she REALLY wants it.’

But actually, no means no, and ‘going ahead anyway’ makes the joke a joke about rape.

Think about the physical danger of violation all women are taught to fear from birth. That’s why we don’t find the punchline funny. It could happen to any of us and what we want is support from the women and men in our lives – not jeering, and not laughter.

Caleb Runge Well if you find the truth offensive there is a 6ft deep hole waiting for you.

ME: Is that a threat, dear?

James Borchert How would use know what it means in the first place people. Use didn’t make it. Use jumped on a social networking site saw a post that another feminist (who had no idea what the photo meant) and all jumped up on your high horse about it.

Caleb Runge There it is again. You think everything is a threat. This is why people don’t like feminist.

ME: Righto. Make sure you do your homework. You’ve got a way to go….

James Borchert You will never win caleb your a guy they don’t have and time for guys.

Chad Hudson Thank you Jessica for giving me the time for an actual response that isn’t wrinkled by old woman abusing young boys to get off.

Woman are perceived on how they’re presenting themselves just like men themselves and just because a minority think woman are meat doesn’t mean all men do also woman are just as bad for this yet you never hear men talk about it?

The picture has more prospective than just “Go ahead, fuck her anyway she wants it” etc
I can easily look at it as a young girl whose obviously flirted and teased a male in to the thought he’s able to make a move or to “fuck her” if that’s how you all perceive it.

I honestly see you all as wanting more than the hand that feeds.

ME: No, just literate. But thanks.

Caleb Runge (TO ME:) where was the “you*” necessary exactly? And I don’t have homework and it seems you may need to do a little yourself. nice talking to you.

ME: It’s “you” not “use”. Are you sure you don’t have English homework?

Chad Hudson Can I ask you all a question, what would you do if you saw a man abusing a woman?

Lee Jay Jessica Friedmann – that’s not the punch line at all, at least not the one I was thinking. You’re taking things to the extreme I fear. It’s a relatively innocent cartoon.

Also, on a side note – Caleb looks about 8 years old. Why is anyone bothering to even read what he says, let alone respond?

ME: This is the issue, Jay. The men commenting on this see it as an innocent consensual picture. The women don’t. From experience.

Chad Hudson Marnie I’m actually trying to learn of another persons perspective on how they perceive men.
But look at that, a typical response from a narrow minded woman because “All men are trolls, rapists and violent criminals”

James Borchert You’re right about that marnie. Trolling isn’t new but iv been playing this game before use even knew about Facebook.

Travis Nelson While I don’t condone the abuse of women in any circumstance the fact of the matter is this picture is a joke, albeit not a very funny one but nonetheless still a joke. I understand violence against women isn’t a joke nor is sexual abuse but this is the internet…if it’s gender equality, racial equality, correct grammar and common sense you’re looking for – you may have come to the wrong place.

ME: Try being polite, Chad. And have a look at your comment and google “irony”.

Sarah Shadrach How is telling someone there is a 6ft hole waiting for them not a threat? Can you explain what you did mean then?

ME:If you’re not going to engage in reasonable respectful debate, at least you’ll both learn something about the English language and grammar. Every day’s a school day.

Caleb Runge Lindsay what exactly are you trying to correct? because whatever it is, it’s not right. And I am certain I don’t have homework because to have homework you have to go back to school, and since school hasn’t started yet I haven’t received any.

Lee Jay Marnie – I didn’t look at it and consider the issue of consent at all. She said “don’t make a move” so in my head “the ‘joke’ was that she was clearly teasing him and he couldn’t do anything. Nothing more sinister than that. If you’ve been through something traumatic then you might be reading more into it than myself and I understand that. But I don’t believe there’s anything inherently wrong with the cartoon.

Chad Hudson *(TO ME) nobody cares about your experience of being fucked in the spoon position.

Reegan Slack i can see how this might promote rape culture, but i doubt thats what was in mind when it was made. But i guess thats the issue isnt it?

Jeff Borchert Well after reading a lot of these comments and hearing all these ladies in an uproar over this very tasteless and degrading cartoon of a woman with her pants half off, telling what would seem to be her lover not to touch cause she’s “sleepy” makes me come to one or two conclusions ! That there’s a lot of women on here with PMS! or they are just not getting satisfied at home and have to take it out on other Facebook users !!
And for the women that say no means no! Sometimes no can be persuaded to then mean yes after a little sweet talk !

ME: Well, I guess this is all quite pointless. I’m out. Caleb, for the love of god I WAS talking about the guy writing “use”. You just assumed it was you.

Caleb Runge Well obviously i did since it was in the same comment. Bye.

ME: Good night, sweet prince.

Chad Hudson That’s not very nice to say.
You should trigger warning your posts for me because it’s triggering my PTSD.

James Borchert I’ve completely forgotten what use are all fighting over could anyone explain again

Lee Jay Marnie, that’s exactly my point. Not every little thing needs to be turned into a crusade. It only serves to detract from the bigger issues. It’s only an issue of consent now that you’ve made it one.

Chad Hudson Since (*ME)was allowed to tell us about her PTSD and experience I shall speak about mine.

I was little, only a young brat with a bit of extra skin between my legs. I grew up happy and curious about woman before I was of age. The mind wonders, it’s amazing to see a beautiful woman especially one naked.

As I was curious more and more my hormones turned to the worst they made me try to talk to girls and tell them lovely things but instead they would attack me and harass me. Woman were not the ideal perfect thing in this world.

Men are the true saints of today, men cause woman to give birth and so we’re the creators of all from large to small. Woman are nothing but cruel and abusive towards us god like men. They’re the reason men cause murder and rape.

Chad Hudson Marnie how was I meant to know it was future tense and not past tense? I’m not quirky like you

Louise Demanuele Clementine can you block Chad Hudson, pictures of brutally murdered babies are NOT OK. Wtf Chad, I have no words. I hope you don’t have nieces or nephews, what if that baby was them??? All babies matter you sick fuck

Bec Hayes Shared with ACA and Sunrise. Disgusting trolling. Name and shame.

Louise Demanuele I hope one day you look back and are ashamed of yourself… It may be when you first hold your newborn baby and you finally understand how fragile, vulnerable they are in this world ave they look to you to protect them and keep them safe and you’ll think back to when you laughed at murdered babies and want to kick your own arse.

Hey, I’m a guy. I’m single. I would never cheat on you. I would always text you first, tell you that you’re beautiful every day, say I love you in front of my friends, never choose my video games over you, protect you, try my best to never make you cry, hold you and never let you go, kiss you in the pouring rain. Yes, ladies, I do exist. No, I’m not gay. Stop dating douche-bags and jerks. Date me

Frances Borchert Caleb I think you are very sensitive and loving I hope you find a nice girl