well ok, not wetting my pants but certainly wondering if my body could hold all the liquid in. Damn, when you get old like me, your bladder teeth and brain goes, so you end up like a wrinkly football that smells of urine and cant bite anything!! :-)

yeah I wanna see too.The link doesnt work..My dear husband thought it was cool to have piranhas . So we got some from that place-is it kartini? Anyway, where all the fish are .They were the ugliest things I ever saw in my life. I made him get rid of them in the end,( and he traded them for a baby grey shark. What IS IT about husbands they are soo ....THAT went as well)-but they were useful for eating the dead koi.Everday we had to go look at the damn piranhas in the backyard pond thingy. Its just they werent ideal pet for setting up home when pregnant and with a dog as well( who was so scared of anything anyway).I just made do with the cichaks and the mozzies LOL.His aunty has this massive old turtle-I thjoiught it was a rock at first! Its smelly though.

Indonesia's great for animals, you can get all sorts here, and they don't last long, which is even better!

Scabby cats are ten a penny. Who needs to take in strays, when for just a dollar you can buy a prime 'guaranteed high quality' specimen from the ojeg drivers on the corner. You might even get lucky and buy a blind one, or one with some strangely exotic and highly contagious skin disease. And it'll help you build a bond with the local community when you go back to replace Flaky Flaps, or whatever you call it, on a monthly basis.

Dogs are a little more expensive, and they need more food, but are great fun for scaring little kids on bikes, especially if you file their teeth to razor points and shave patches of hair off. If you some cats too, well that cuts down on the food bills...

If you want to go upmarket, there're plenty of 'tropical' options.

No birds fly freely here, because they've all died of bird flu. Hold on, I'm wrong... Oh yeah, they're all in cages! The bird market is really where your bargaining skills come into play: why buy just one? Just go to the guys outside the shoppping malls with bird cages and buy five - then you'll get one for free, and maybe a sweet discount on a 30cm-square cage to put them all in! For an extra few thousand rupiah, you might get them all colour co-ordinated in pink, blue, yellow or whatever other colours you can get permanent markers in.

The lower maintenance, less contagious, though less cuddly, option is the snake. Available again from the mall-front entrepeneurs, these are the masculine alternative to kittens, and will surely dazzle all visitors to your house. The best time to get one of these bad boys is on a Friday or Saturday evening in the city centre, when there are many Western Shrivelled Trouser Snakes (Buleus floppius) on the prowl, looking for some chicken. Be careful not to let it escape in a public area, as it is likely to be hammered flat by a scared pembantu, or have all of the blood sucked out of it by a Chinese man in search of extra 'oomph'.

The true connoiseur of the pet market will love to take the opportunity to raise a primate here. For less than a bag of monkey nuts, you can buy a whole monkey, nuts intact. THis season's monkey fashion essential is arguably the 'Spongebob Squarepants' babygro, though for a little more you can go upmarket and get one with an Air Supply t-shirt. The life expectancy of a pet monkey is notably short here, as they seem to be bred without an immune system, though will be able to give any children nearby a good respiratory disorder as they are humping its leg.

For the pet lover on a tight time-frame, goats are a good way to go. Prime goat-buying season is about a month or so after Ramadhan, and you won't have time to form too close a bond with it before you have to say goodbye. Soon after you have named it, had the vet remove all of its expensive yet invisible parasites and got in some good goat-style quality time, your neighbours will hop the fence in the dead of night, stealthily making as much noise as possible as they wrestle it free of its chain. If you're not up by the crack of dawn the next morning, it's too late - poor Billy (I'm sure your name will be a whole pile more imaginitive) will have been chopped up and distributed to the locals.

Not to worry about the boring old land-dwellers, though. Indonesia is surrounded by water, and that water is filled with wonderful potential pets.

First off is the easily-kept Jakartan Brown Trout (Turdinina turdina). To get hold of one of these friendly chaps, wait for some local boys to go swimming in the stream and carefully pluck one from their hair. Keep them in a well-ventilated pond or in a cup of tea in the staffroom fridge, if you want to extend their lifespan.

Once you have mastered the low-demand fish species, it's time for a step up into the world of turtles. Turtles are endangered everywhere in the world except Indonesia. How do I know that? Because I asked a man who was selling one. "Is it OK to sell these?" "Oh yes Mister, very OK. You want?" And that, of course, is conclusive proof of the acceptability of buying and selling turtles. These pets will set you back a great deal, perhaps enough to feed a whole family of turtle-catchers for a month, but they will give you a free black plastic bag to carry it home in. Turtles truly are a challenge to keep alive, but don't worry - their shells make great souvenirs, and you can bulk-send stuff home for next to nothing. The perfect coffee-table ornament, next to the collection of coral.

Originally posted by Dilligaf: What are you sorry for? You'll be in a cage!

Have to wail everytime got heat, asking for polar bear female to be provided by the master. Seeing the master having sex in front of him ignorantly, without letting him go off the cage and let the pet join in.Nice life

Originally posted by Ena: yeah I wanna see too.The link doesnt work..My dear husband thought it was cool to have piranhas . So we got some from that place-is it kartini? Anyway, where all the fish are .They were the ugliest things I ever saw in my life. I made him get rid of them in the end,( and he traded them for a baby grey shark. What IS IT about husbands they are soo ....THAT went as well)-but they were useful for eating the dead koi.Everday we had to go look at the damn piranhas in the backyard pond thingy. Its just they werent ideal pet for setting up home when pregnant and with a dog as well( who was so scared of anything anyway).I just made do with the cichaks and the mozzies LOL.His aunty has this massive old turtle-I thjoiught it was a rock at first! Its smelly though.

Eeekkk Cicaks? I don't like cicaks and any reptiles.LOL!Ena if you wonder why husbands are so.... I always tell my man, if they ever get any reptiles for pet, they would never see me again ever .I had six dogs last time, they are funny!Yeah they really have characters.Coward one. Ever know a dog who go inside the cage willingly when a stranger come in to the house? Whimpering inside, giving loathing look to the guest because she tries hard already before it, barking, prevent the guest for come in to the house.Self conscious one, especially when he done something wrong. I would know when he done it, he wouldn't greet me as usual when I get home, rather he just look at me, and run immidietally hiding his head under my Japanese table, still standing on his hinder legs(he's a golden retriever, it's difficult for him to hide below the table). It's really a view...LOL, never get angry to him because of that.Very smart and naughty one, she could always escape from her cage in so many ways, even it's locked. She destroy every cage I buy,...damn she just a little daschund!Think can open the door by her hard sniffings one. Dragging her sleeping bed around at night in the house just to get beside me one.Never get attracted to a female dog one. I think he's a gay dog...LOL.

Originally posted by rubyenda: Laluna, PB is my pet, so I am the master, who is polar bear female?

It's your job to find matting partner for your pet! Don't ask me that....LOLUmmmm, since your pet like oriental look and chubby ones so much, why don't you get a female Panda? I think you could create a new bear breed, and get a noble prize for that...

Originally posted by rubyenda: Laluna, PB is my pet, so I am the master, who is polar bear female?

It's your job to find matting partner for your pet! Don't ask me that....LOLUmmmm, since your pet like oriental look and chubby ones so much, why don't you get a female Panda? I think you could create a new bear breed, and get a noble prize for that...

You could also make money for matting your pet Last time, my naughty daschund get so many suitors (banyak yang ngelamar lho...hehehe), she's very unique one for a daschund breed, as white as snow fur and some black spots, pink nose, grey bluish eyes. Too bad it's female, if it's male, usually the master would pay us some amount of money depends on the breed. You get a rare breed there, a male polar bear, you should make lot of money from him, you want me to put on the advertisement for him to get matting partner?