Mom Answers

There is so much diversity in our culture now that a person would have to be ignorant to make such statements. I would confront their narrow mindedness. It has to do with centuries of genetics and recessive and dominate genes. So prior to making an asinine statement such as "impossible for fair parents to have dark trait children" (AnnieZ) you may want to check an 8th grade biology book under Gregor Mendel. That thinking is perpetuating the WRONG idea which is why those comments are being made. The more you know...

Our family is known for having large babies. Not talking about 6-7 pounds....I'm talking about 9-10 sometimes 11 pounds. And that can run for first babies at times. My Mom had my brother in 1977, and he was the biggest baby in the nursery. So here's my mom looking at my brother and this idiot guy comes over and cries "Hey look at fat baby!" My mom from then on had my brother stay in the room with her until she went home because her feelings were hurt.
Every baby is beautiful and precious. No matter if they don't have anything physically wrong with them or if they do, each child is a gift from God and deserves so much love!
So don't let any tell you otherwise. Just know that you are the luckiest person in the world to have such a beautiful child!
Take care and Good luck to all!

three things: 1- to those people that say lighten up or suck it up, please mind your own business. it is not nice to devalidate someone's feelings or to label them oversensitive. we are all different people with different backgrounds and needs! and we all are allowed to have feelings! good for you if you have not experienced hurtful words about your kids from others. some support to these new moms would be a welcome change! 2- i feel i can say this since my ex boyfriend's family harassed me regarding the premature birth of mine and my darling husband's twin boys, saying they must be the ex's since they counted backwards to the alleged conception date and were born under my name (did not take my hubby's last name). the ex even called and asked if i did a dna test. my advice is take up for yourself like i did. i told him to go back to his own life and have his family quit calling me! i do not allow ignorant/crude/nosy people push me around. 3- every baby is beautiful no matter what!!!

i think another important point to make is just how subjective it all is anyway. we have two beautiful sons, 3yo and 7mo, and some people say they are both like me, others say they are both like my partner, some say they have his side of the family's traits, some say they have mine, etc. etc. on any given day the same people can think totally differently. this is of course because we are all unique, and babies and kids change every day. i think comments about how interesting, beautiful, varied and wonderful we all are, are great, and i love talking about my gorgeous boys with anyone! but to link it so much with questions of DNA etc, is just silly. sometimes the "real" parents have nothing to do with DNA anyway, and sometimes our kids look nothing like us! that's what makes it all so exciting!

To those so concerned about what other people think. ...I look at it this way....Who cares what other people think,,,and what the child looks likes..Longs if you and your spouse knows..Why should it matter...and if the baby is healthy ...Just live your own life and not worry about the rest...Mother of 3 adult children...

To 2:55 p.m. on 9/27 -It is genetically impossible for two blue-eyed parents to have a brown eyed child. (very possible for dark parents to have a light child, though). Most people know this and that is why they are confused.
To all: I don't know why a stranger would care unless you are already talking about your baby's looks? And they are just trying to make conversation/find something to talk about? I know you are mad when some have suggested perhaps looking at their questions in a more positive light will help. But why? It is better than the suggestions to say something bitingingly witty or rude back. Some people's strengths may not be great social grace. Share some so that our tolerance, within reason, will help us get to a loving world where we pray our babies may grow up in.

When I was 8 mos. pregnant, my husband and I were out to lunch together. We ran into a business aquaintance of his and he intoduced me. The guy says "So, do you know who the father is? Ha, ha, ha." I wanted to punch this guy in the stomach. I think it is really crass to make jokes implying that you have had sex with someone other than your spouse. "The milkman's kid" joke is not only lame and overused, but pretty tasteless as well. I didn't get to punch the guy in the stomach, but I did give him a nasty look and walked away.

My son has, from the minute he was born, looked uncannily like his father. It's so funny how many times a day I hear, "he looks just his dad". It bothered me at first because I put all the work into carrying him and giving birth and he turns out to look exactly like his dad. If I didn't give birth to him, I'd wonder if I was even the mom!! But now, I'm glad he looks like his dad, because he's a handsome little boy. It still kind of annoys me when people call him by his dad's name as a joke. I always say that's not his name, if it was it would be on the birth certificate!! Anyway, I just think it's funny because you're always wondering what they'll look like when they come out and if they'll be cute or not. Then when you do see them, they are the most beautiful thing in the world no matter what they look like!!

"Is it just me or are people just 1000% ruder and totally lacking in sensitivity and common sense these days?? "
Is it just me or are people just 1000% more overly sensitive and totally lacking in a sense of humor these days??"
Lighten up, folks! Nobody can make the most innocent comment without people bristling. You can't wonder at the amazing appearance of a baby without people thinking you're questioning his parentage?
My DH and I are darkk-haired and people comment all the time on our two blondies. I think it's cool, the mystery of genetics and use it as an opportunity to explain how the recessive gene works and how many in our family were blond as children. Or how our third child is almost olive-skinned and brown-eyed when my skin is almost transparent it's so fair. I respond that my DH wants to know who my boyfriend is and we have a good laugh. A conversation starts. Everybody learns something about you and your family. Imagine...connecting with people by talking about your child's beauty.
I don't know why people are so quick to believe the worst about others. I'm almost afraid to open my mouth, because you never know what will offend some overly prickly person.
BTW, it never bothered me when someone patted my pregnant belly. I'm smart enough to know whether someone's hitting on me or just connecting with the miracle of birth. I'm very short and when I'm pregnant, I get huge. I take the jokes and comments in stride and enjoy having a laugh over my form. It makes my day more sunny. Maybe that's why I have a lot of friends.
Try a little patience. Life is too short. Maybe there would be world peace if people wouldn't go looking for something to gripe about in other people. 4173129
5:37 AM on 09/27/2004 Laid-back Mom
HOW UTTERLY RUDE. i THINK YOU MUST BE ONE OF THE ONES WHO ARE RUDE TO SINGLE SOMEONE OUT TO COMMENT TO THEM SPECIFICALLY. lol

I find myself doing that too just to start up a conversation. It's usually, "oh what beautiful eyes you have, where did you get them"... My daughter has dark olive skin, dark hair, dark brown eyes... We have white skin, blue/green eyes, and blonde hair... but she's ours... yep, no telling what genes are showing up in the baby.

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