Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Guest Post from Steph's Forever Friend - Cheryl

I have been telling Chrissy for weeks now that I need to guest post on her blog for Steph. I have a story to share. A story that has God's name all over it. A story that some already know. It is the reason why........

Eighteen years ago in May, my husband Kenneth suffered a heart attack at the age of 40. This was the beginning of many health problems for him. At this time, our daughter Chrissy was in 6th grade and our son Jarad was in 3rd. This was the very same time that I met Stephanie Phillips. She was just graduating from Catholic High School. Chrissy's basketball coach and our good friend, Tom had brought in a few girls to work with his little team of 6th graders trying to improve their skills for the big move to Cherokee Junior High. He formed a friendship with her and kept her involved with the girls and in helping her make extra money. More and more Steph would seek me out to talk.

As we all know, Steph signed with the SMS Lady Bears. She moved into the dorms but would still call me. One day, before the season started, she called and sounded so different. Almost lost. I said, "are you okay"? Those three words changed our lives forever. She started crying. I was SHOCKED. Hard core Stephanie Phillips, I was positive, would NEVER cry! She asked to come over. This also was the beginning of our hour upon hour of marathon talks.

Our friendship began. We talked (and still do) daily. She became part of our family. She loved the busyness of our home. You might ask yourself why a girl would spend so much time with someone else's family when she already has a family, a great family. She loves her family. Well, simply put it's a God thing.

During the first year of our friendship, Steph and I were at my house doing what we always did.....talking and eating. I remember the moment. I became very serious and somewhat emotional. I told Steph that our friendship scared me. I told her that I felt like God put her in my life for a reason and that it was health related. I was so sad. She agreed with me; she felt it too. We talked more (because that's what we do) and I told her I felt like I was going to lose Kenneth and that she was supposed to be there for me. I was confused on how this 19 year old girl was going to help me. Hey, I was 34. I was the elder. So Kenneth continued to have health problems and Steph continued to be by my side through each one. We never talked about losing Kenneth again. She would just tell me things like "I will push you in your wheelchair", "I will wipe the drool from your face", "I will NEVER be able to do your hair". We laughed. She told me she would be my forever friend. She insisted that we label ourselves as such.

Fast forward to January 2010. Sitting together in the bathroom of our hotel room. Scot, Drew & Levi fast asleep in the beds. Steph knew that she was going to die. We cried. She wondered what her funeral was going to be like. She wondered if Levi would remember her. She was especially sad that she was going to be responsible for breaking her mom and dad's hearts....forever. She cried to me and apologized for what she had done to my life. How she has consumed so much of my time, how her children have consumed so much of my time. I stopped crying. I felt so peaceful. I looked at her and said, "Oh Steph, do you remember many many years ago, in my house, our conversation about our friendship and it being health related. It was never Kenneth, it was YOU."

I have such a peace about my life. I have tons of joy everyday. I want to share with everyone I know and with most I don't know that while we are waiting for our Father to take Steph home this house is full of love and joy. Love from my family and her family. She is surrounded daily by these people and special friends. We love on her. We read Scripture to her. We share special messages from cards that are sent to her. We play her favorite music. All the little ones kiss her and tell her they love her, she smiles, it's precious. The joy, oh the joy! There is nothing better than to watch Drew and Levi play with THEIR forever friends and be so content.

I now understand why even though this is one of the hardest things I have ever done, it is the easiest. I don't do this alone. Never have. Never will. Steph has an amazing husband in Scot, my husband Kenneth is equally amazing. We are making a great team in keeping Steph comfortable. I'm surrounded by Chrissy and Jarad, who hug and kiss me more than the little ones. One started the blog and the other the foundation. My son-in-law, Brian who drops by to check on ME, who wraps those big arms around me and tells me he loves me. My daughter-in-law, Ashley, who calls me her mother-in-love and who drops everything to take Drew & Levi to Bass Pro to pick something special for their Daddy for Father's Day. While Scot, Kenneth and I tend to Steph's needs, we never have to worry about the boys and if they are being cared for and loved on. Most importantly, I know I am not alone because my Father in Heaven is holding me every second of every day. I have always known the Lord. He has always been a huge part of my life. It's time like these that he NEVER leaves my side.

I wanted to share our story. People have just always known Steph as a part of our family, but many often ask me how EXACTLY we met. Most importantly, I wanted people to understand how God has put us together and carried us through this journey. It is truly amazing to all of us and we are eternally grateful for His faithfulness.

13 comments:

Anonymous
said...

God Bless you Cheryl for what you're doing. My mom moved in with us and I was her caregiver for 2 1/2 years while she was fighting Uterine cancer. I too went with her to every chemo/radiation treatment, dr. appts., hospital stays. I know first hand how difficult and sometimes tiring it can be. My family and friends would ask "how do you do it?" I'd respond "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength". (Phil 4:13) My mom called me her "angel". I know that your Steph's angel too. I've been praying for Steph for almost 3 years and will continue to do so. God knew the day she was born, and He knows the day He will take her home. He is in control, and nothing we do will change that date. My heart goes out to her family and all of you. Thank you Chrissy for keeping us all posted on this blog. Your words and pictures made me laugh and cry. Steph is very fortunate to have you all in her life. God knew what He was doing.The Waltons,Greg, Kathy, Sarah and KariApple Valley, California

Each and every day I check on "Steph's Gonna Win" blog to see how everyone is doing. As I said in a previous anonymous post, I feel like I have been blessed with some amazing women in my life; all of you! Yes, Steph will win because she'll be at her forever home before all of us. God is amazing and I know He has put Steph and all of you in my life. Hugs & Kisses Forevermore...

"It's a God thing." If someone DIDN'T believe in God, all they'd need do is read this story (and blog) and they would become a believer. God has absolutely blessed both the Phillips family and Giddens family with an amazing love. Unconditional. And Forever.

Thank you for sharing from you heart in this very tough time; but since I have read this sweet blog and checking daily; I KNOW Steph's gonna win because she will be with Our Father very soon. But, "Because He Lives, We Can Face Tomorrow". May God continue to pour out His blessing on your precious family and may each of you feel His presence as you travel this difficult road.Prayers for all,Louanna

I feel like I've been following Coach Phillips story from afar - I read all the updates and pray often for your family.

I still remember Brian from my childhood at South Haven (he was, after all SO tall!) - was in choir with Jarad at KHS - and although she wasn't my coach when I played basketball at Kickapoo, its clear to see her impact on her players, the school, and even Springfield as a whole. Please let her know that she is loved and respected by MANY - what a legacy she will leave on all those lives she has touched.

I will continue to pray that your family's time together will be sweet - that the Lord's joy and peace and GOODNESS will be abundant in your lives during this season. Blessings.

I have been keeping up with the blogs that you have eloquently written. Coach Phillips is so blessed to be surrounded by such loving and selfless people. And I know that you all feel the same about her. I too am a high school coach and my team played in the Kickapoo tournament this past year. Coach Phillips was so kind as to send me a scout tape when my team made it to the State tournament. It was only by luck that we got it but I think it was God's way of bringing Coach Phillips story into my and my team's life. Although I only talked with her for a brief time, I was touched by what a wonderful human being she is. We have been praying for her and her entire family since that tournament. Thank you for your updates. God Bless you and your family!!

I too am a follower of this blog. I have known of Stephanie for awhile, back to her days at SMS, I used to go to all of the Lady Bears games back then. I have been praying for her since the day I heard about her diagnosis. Reading this blog has brought me along with you all on this journey, your journey and I feel so fortunate to be able to witness from afar God's work. Your family's strength throughout this life changing event is truly incredible. I will continue to pray and follow you all on this journey.

I am only a year or so older than Stephanie and I remember her from Springfield Catholic and I went to Rogersville, We both played college basketball. I was at Evangel around the same time she was at SMS. I, like so many others check in daily, sometimes more than once so that i know what is going on. I have three kids and I cry almost everytime i read another blog entry. How strong you all are. I have to ask myself why am I so lucky. Why does this have to happen to a young mom and her husband and kids? I know you are changing lives of those who have been following your story. I know that I am changed and touched and continue to pray for you all

I have been following your blog from Phoenix. I grew up in Springfield and folllowed SMS and Lady Chiefs BB. I grew up my early years in Monett. So I have known Scott and his family for many years. I am moved everytime I look at this blog. So many people helping. We can learn so much from this. Sending prayers from Arizona. In Jesus Name

There are no words....I feel for you every second. It's so amazing how people come into our lives when they do--I think of the fact that you all came into my life because I was just Drew's preschool teacher...within weeks of meeting you all, you became lifelines to me and to Jeff in his fight with cancer. You all were there when he died--I will always remember seeing Drew in his little tie and white shirt at Jeff's visitation. God weaves people into our lives for reasons and at times that are beyond our comprehension. He knows who we need to stand by our side and hold us up. I am here for you, as you were there for me 2 1/2 years ago. I love you all and am grateful for God's love that never leaves us alone.

Wow You have such an insight on life that it amazes me. Your families have been lucky to find each other. To think that you guys sensed it when you first met! Wow..amazing. I have never met Steph but feel like I know her thru your many stories of her. I think of her and say a prayer for all of you every day.

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I'm Chrissy. I kept this blog for my dear friend Stephanie who fought for 3 years against stage 4 colon cancer. It was my honor to be her voice during this trial. Please continue to follow our journey as I blog for her boys. They are the best gift she left behind. Her legacy lives on in them.