The story is indeed well-written and moving. But suppose we read between the lines? The question the story raises for me is whether this is a classic case of a Jamaican woman who was forced through economic circumstances to leave her children back home to raise other people’s children far away. It’s possible that her children were already grown, but the story says she had SEVEN children back in Jamaica and another child in the United States, for whom she prayed every night.

I’m not judging her, or other Jamaicans who feel the need to migrate to support their families. Many feel they have no choice. But the fact is that this has been recognized as a major contributor to our societal problems like juvenile delinquency, and yes, crime.

Coco bread with a Jamaican beef patty (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So when Ross Urken speaks lovingly of the evenings his Jamaican nanny spent reading to him and his sister, ask who is reading to the thousands of kids left motherless back in Jamaica. When he speaks about how she exposed him to Jamaican patties and jerk chicken, ask about the exposure of the children left behind.

“As early as 1993, Dr. Claudette Crawford Brown, from the University of the West Indies (UWI) came to the conclusion that the absence of mothers was a key determinant to the involvement of children with violence.

In a survey she found that 80% of children in conflict with the law had their mothers absent, while this was the case for only 30% of other children, and migration was the second most important reason explaining the absence of mothers.”

Those left behind are particularly vulnerable to abuse, which should be of interest, given the recent focus on the sexual abuse of children.

“The impact of parents’ migration on children can be devastating as it threatens the long-term well-being and development of Caribbean adolescents into adulthood…

“Many children left behind suffer from depressions, low self-esteem which can lead to behavioural problems, and (are) at increased risk of poor academic performance as well as interruption of schooling.”

The potential for abuse is especially great when the mother migrates. The study states that:

“According to the evaluation of the Health and Family Life Education programme, 18% of the respondent children (average age of 14.7 yr) experienced forced sex. The vulnerability to abuse significantly increases when a child loses the protection of a parent(s)…

When the mother migrates, abuse whether it is physical, emotional, sexual or neglect is more likely to occur.”

Interesting, although the reason given for migration is to help the family, often the migration of the father impacted the family left behind by reducing the available financial resources with “little remittances coming back …”

Boeing 737Photo - Wikimedia Commons

The children left behind have been found to suffer a range of psycho-social issues.

“The most common psycho-social problems are feelings of abandonment, sadness, despondence, despair, anger, lack of trust, low self-esteem, and inability to concentrate at school. The abandonment of a parent(s) sometimes has permanent effects on the child’s life, and many spend their entire lives struggling with feelings of rejection and loss. The many broken promises of reunion with their parents further tend to result in emotional instability.”

The paper concludes that:

“These implications of parents’ migration on children threaten the long-term well-being and development of Caribbean adolescents into productive adults.”

Speaking at a Medical Association of Jamaica (MAJ) Symposium, she said:

“I compared children who had parents divorced, died or migrated. We found that migratory loss seems to affect more areas of the child’s life compared to divorce and death.”

She found that migration caused mental consequences even though parents stayed in contact with their children and sent money and gifts.

Seventy-seven per cent of the children said they were concerned about who would take care of them once their parents left and 71 per cent had increased somatic illnesses (triggered by depression) after the migration. Forty-five per cent said they did not understand why their parents had migrated, even after family discussions, and 20 per cent said they were never informed prior to the migration – they just came home one day and were given the news that their parent left.

She noted that there were statistically significant differences in the occurrences of depression in children whose parents migrated compared to those whose parents had not.

“Depression was found significant in both the Trinidad and the Jamaican group,” she said. “In addition, in Jamaica the children were more at risk for suicidal ligation and poor school performance.”

So forgive me if I’m not clicking my heels with joy at the legacy this Jamaican nanny left her American charge. It leaves me wondering about the impact on her Jamaican children. And even if this nanny’s children were all grown and well-functioning adults when she left, it reminds me of the thousands of other children suffering from absent parents. No, this story doesn’t warm my heart. It saddens me.

Note

Links to the UNICEF reports are provided, but for completeness, the citations are:

When I first saw article I felt just like you did, sad.The person who sent it to me thought it ‘cute’ but being a mother I could only imagine the pain this woman must have every moment of the day thinking of her own children.

Actually; as you know, Dionne I am hardly a fan of the migration rush (although I do understand that some persons’ situations might be so desperate that they think they have no other choice) and I do understand the very valid point you are making. But if you look at it purely from the point of view of the young man, it is a simple human story of a boy from one culture growing up and being influenced in a positive manner by someone from another culture; that someone just happening to be Jamaican.

It might well bring into sharp relief (and you certainly helped!) the problem of Jamaican children being left behind to be raised by any number of persons other than the parents; and that continuing challenge needs to be continuously highlighted. But if I were in that young man’s position; having had nothing to do with my Jamaican nanny leaving her own country or with hiring her, I would certainly feel free to shower praise on her for the role she played in my life.

I agree, Earl. The Jamaican nanny clearly enriched the young man’s life and he is grateful for it. On the other hand, after reading that article I felt much the same way as Dionne… She was giving this boy overseas so much love and I just hoped that her own children were being equally loved – perhaps by a grandmother or an auntie – back home in Jamaica… Any child who is abandoned by their mother will suffer psychologically, but it also depends on how strong and supportive the rest of the child’s family is, in her absence. The problem is that there are so many other social ills impacting the Jamaican family, and the issue is not just money.

Actually, the very same issues apply to many live-in helpers and the children they leave behind in rural communities to work in more affluent households right here in Jamaica. The mother is in the same country, but she can only send money home from Kingston and visit her kids on the rare weekend off. At Christmas some are even required to prepare the meals for the employer’s family, which means their own kids are without a loving mommy at home to create happy holiday memories for them. Her employers may provide the occasional gift or a particular experience to the live-in helper’s children which she could not otherwise afford. But of course, this does not make up for the parental alienation and attendant effects. It’s tough.

Well said Dionne. I too am saddened by the number of children who are left as their parents seek a living taking care of other people’s children. I’m reminded of just one case of the eight year old grandson of a friend whose mother left him since he was a baby. He’s with his dad’s family, upper middle class people who love and care for him. However the boy is demonstrating unexplained rage especially when he is told no. The family has taken him into counselling and they are being told that he’s having issues with abandonment, whenever he’s told no he equates that with another person abandoning him and not caring about his need. This is one child from middle class Jamaica whose family knows the value of counselling how much more other children who no intervention is made on behalf of.