How To: Burn Bridges

We've all been told a thousand times: “Don’t burn your bridges.” The truth is that some people weigh us down and separate us from our priorities. If we are to lead rich and successful lives, we have to learn to cut the fat.

We all know how to burn a bridge with reckless abandon. What we may not know is how to sever our ties without third-degree burns.

Acquaintances

A torch-worthy acquaintance is an inhabitant of your periphery who attempts to encroach on your sphere: a friend of a friend, a former coworker, your barber, or anyone actively pouring the foundation for a better bridge to you. Soon enough, he’s leaving five or more variations of “if you’re home, pick up...” on your voice mail. You need to tear that mother down before he can lay the first plank on that bridge.

What not to do: Do not dignify this business with a face-to-face encounter. Can you imagine sitting down to explain to him that you already have enough friends?

What to do: Ignore all his communication attempts and wait for him to drop off like a gangrenous appendage. When you see him a couple of months or a year later, he won’t even ask why you didn’t call him back. When it comes to properly putting bridges under the flame, you have far bigger fish to fry.

Friends

Friends enrich our lives like few other things can, but even the strongest friendships can fail to acclimate to change. Regardless, you probably still consider these people friends. Your aim here should be to nominally maintain those terms — even though the bridge you shared is now a smoldering heap. Your friend doesn’t need to know this, and if you do it right, he or she won’t.

What not to do: Do not disrespect the history you share with your friend; he once meant a lot to you and you may still mean a lot to him. This is your shared bridge and you shouldn’t dismiss its relative value, regardless of your pyrotechnic plans. Under no circumstances should you avoid him or his attempts to reach you. Furthermore, do not burn this bridge via phone, e-mail or text message.