Stop beating your meat, go to the Brooklyn meat up

Here’s the info on the first ever Brooklyn Meat Up, the singles event to serve as respite for the desperately stroller laden, depressed breeder-surrounded struggling lonely people of Park Slope/Gowanus. It’s being organized by the devastating blogfecta of Brokelyn (holla), Fucked in Park Slope and Brooklyn Based. Other ideas that were tossed out from our meeting: jugglers, magician, singles scavenger hunt, seven-minutes-in-heaven room, mandatory 10-drink minimum. If I win the pig-butchering class, I will be severely annoyed:

So, our friend Erica at FIPS posted a letter from a reader this summerkvetching about how hard it was to find a good, single man in Park Slope, land of the Bugaboos. Fifty-six comments later, she realized she had no choice but to enhance the locals’ mating prospects and throw a singles party.

Knowing there were many other unattached Brooklynites, male and female, who were having the same problem all over this borough, she decided to invite Brooklyn Based and Brokelyn into her planning room, and, well, you can only imagine the ideas we’ve come up with together. (Let’s just say we’ve tossed out the Tarot reader!) The result of our collective brainstorming is the most hilarious, fun singles party ever: The First Brooklyn Meatup (meat market + meetup = meatup!), on Wednesday, Sept. 30 at the Bell House, where we’ll be co-hosting an evening of tongue-in-cheek fun designed to make you drop your…inhibitions.

We’ll be serving jello shots and $2 Busch beers from 7-8pm, and then the Busch will be just $3 for the rest of the night (wink, wink). A few lucky guys will get to bare their chests in perhaps the first-ever male wet t-shirt contest, the winner of which will win a free pig-butchering class from The Brooklyn Kitchen’s soon-to-open cooking school, The Brooklyn Kitchen Labs! A few more giveaways will be peppered throughout the night, including prizes worth $120 from Babeland and a free room at Hotel Le Bleu! (And hey, if you don’t win that, there’s always the Bell House’s photo booth!)

And because we went a little overboard on the Meatup theme, we invited La Cense Burger Truck to serve its grass-fed patties from 7-10. (Vegetarians, we hope that’s not too much of a turn-off for you.)

Tickets, $10, are on sale now. Buy one and follow us on twitter to stay posted on things like the male/female ratio and other goodies your hosts have in store for you. While you’re at it, RSVP on facebook, too!