nothing in here is true

Thursday, February 22, 2007

and you know the great part about this blog? the great part is a lot of time someone just turned 30 or just turned 40 or just turned 60 and i say today is marie antoinettes birthday, shes 29, and secretly everyone will laugh and say yeah right but todays leahs birthday and she really is 21.

ok some of that is a lie. today isnt actually her birthday, two days ago it was her birthday. as you can see ive been quite busy and havent even had time to bust a ten minutes with tony for your asses, but for lent im giving up being lame about the busblog.

if it wasnt for the busblog i would have never met todays birthday girl last year.

yes her site and her blog were always better than mine, but she was younger and cuter so she had a distinct advantage. plus she had the bonus of having hate messageboards and sites created just to seethe over her every word and photograph.

now thats blogging.

fortunately i have the busblog and with that came a wee amount of credibility that i wasnt a fullon stalker even though i had read her since before she could even legally drive a car. and i had gone through most of her photos. not so many now, but i got better, i got to hang with her. now, a few times.

most of the times the people will look better than you expect them to. rarely do they look worse. the twins up in toronto looked so much better in real life that i challenged every cliche and asked them both to be near me simultaneously, back in my hotel room.

leah however should be a fashion model or tv personality or pop icon, thats how unique she is. she should replace the paperclip in MS Office. if leah was your cursor youd never get anything done. thats why shes illegal.

and whats even more amazing, she has the most interesting southern accent. like a layer mouthwatering frosting on a dainty little cupcake.

shes very smart, very quick, always up for fun, and has an extremely nice husband who has a wooden leg.

leah said why did you not give me a birthday tribute i said uh

she said why did you give jeanine one, whos jeanine? i said she was my college gf.

she said why did you give chris one? whos chris? i said the gf i had for 5 years.

she said whos the kiwi girl? why did she get one? i said she flew here to meet me and have sex with me, then she had sex with me.

she said hmph.

when i met leah at the red bull house at sxsw last year she brought a super cute friend and i was all whose your friend and she said just some girl id been talking with on myspace who i wanted to meet

and its a wonder what life would be like if you could just say hi adoreable, meet me at the corner of naches and 7th, free booze and creepy olde men.

leah watched as this dude got me super baked out of my mind and he was super baked out of his mind and then he sorta tapped out and we were all yeahhhhh ok and it was awkward but super funny if you ask me but you probablyshouldnt cuz i was high and drunk.

because leah peer pressured me into it using reverse psychology.

leah works downtown in a fancy hotel which is a waste because if i had a hotel id make sure that leah greeted you at the door and was the first person you saw when you entered the place because then youd know that you werent at the motel 6 anymore grampa.

and one thing i liked about meeting her in person, i realized i had been hearing her name wrong all along. its pronounced lay-uh.