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I think Battleground would have been good as a go home episode of Raw before Summerslam. Instead it was a pay per view four weeks before Summerslam and now we have four more of these to go through before we get to Summerslam.

@PT I kind of agree. Nikki had that look going the last time WWE was on The Soup in studio, and amazingly, she was really good at reading lines from a cue card and came across as charming and funny. Yes, she was playing a version of her airhead Total Divas persona, and I usually find Brie much more attractive, but that tomboy/baseball player look really worked for her on The Soup. I think it’s a great look for her horrible character.

“The materialistic Bella with the huge fake jugs makes for an unconvincing tomboy.”

Those are not just some huge fake jugs my friend. Those are the BEST huge fake tits I’ve ever seen. That surgeon should get a fucking medal for his work. He’s amazing. And how is she materialistic? Do you know her personally? Do you think Total Divas is REAL?? You sound really superficial. A tomboy can have fake tits. Stop putting people in boxes.

This PPV was the reason why I always watch PPVs with my group of friends. Even when they are terrible, we still have a good time. If I had just been alone I would have turned it off long before that main event.

Also, didn’t Cena AA Orton onto Kane during Money in the Bank? Did he just literally do the same thing to win again? That was a month ago, guys. The Demon and The Viper need to figure out some sort of counter to that bullshit.

I was exhausted last night and kept dozing off during the main event. I thought that I had fallen asleep during the main event and didn’t know the winner by the time I fell asleep. Then I woke up this morning knowing that Cena had won, but had no recollection of how the win happened. My brain literally erased the ending of the match, but not the outcome. I don’t know if I saw Cena celebrating afterwards and then shut the TV off, or if I just dreamed that he won and it ended up being true. Point being, even in my sleep, Cena Winz LOL

@LBCS : Your reply to Brandon reminds of those flash cards with the picture clues that you had to guess the phrase – in this case, it’d be a picture of John Cena situated above the word “Comes” plus a picture of a table of Vegas lines.

OK, since the PPV sucked, I’m going to ask about the SNME ad they did during the PPV.

How the f**k can you put Animotion’s “Obsession” on the ad for the classic SNMEs and then NOT use that original opening music for the shows on the network, dammit? OH, I want Phil Collins’ “Take Me Home” on the closing credits, too. It’s still real to me, dammit.

These are one of those PPVs where you know that shouting into the void will do you no good, but…sigh…you just want to do it anyway. Just awful.

I seriously have no idea who they are targeting at this point. There’s the infinite CENAWINS stuff, there’s Jericho winning for no reason, the Wyatts all losing like chumps and overall, no one new looking good. You can’t target lapsed fans forever! You need to pull the trigger!

Seriously, cut this and Night of Champions already. There’s no reason to do 12-13 PPVs a year if offensive filler like this is what WWE is set to offer as a C-level experience.

The tag match WAS great, but the last two false-finishes really felt unnecessary. I was enjoying the match, but I had to say “C’mon, really?” when the Uso kicked out of Harper’s clothesline. That’s when it started to feel like a bit much. And I can’t express how much I wish the Usos could so something– ANYTHING– besides jump and superkick.

If you’re talking about the ending sequence, when Harper no-sold the superkick and just spun and lariated the shit out of whichever Uso it was, said Uso didn’t actually kick out. His brother hopped in and broke up the pinfall. But semantics aside, point stands – that should’ve been the finish and the tag titles should’ve changed hands.

The opening match was good. Match of the night? Absolutely. But I thought the MITB match was better by a mile. That match had dramatic false finishes, and it was believable that both teams needed to use everything to put each other away. In the match last night, both falls 1 and 2 were pretty suspect, in that the moves that led to them were pretty weak. I know you have to suspend disbelief in 2/3 falls matches, but it just bothered me that the first fall came so quickly, and came off as so weak. The crowd started chanting “This is awesome!” way before the match was worthy of that praise, so that annoyed me a little bit too. The last 5 minutes of the match were undoubtedly great, but false finish after false finish just starts to irk me after a while. Harper no-selling the kick into the BRUTAL clothesline was an incredible spot, and I was shocked that they didn’t win with that. The Usos winning with the double splash was fine, I just don’t get where the entire Wyatt Family goes after last night. Maybe that’s clouding my judgment, but I think their match at MITB was the better of the two, and the crowd made the actual match last night seem a lot better than it actually was.

I think it’s awful dumb that the WWE only books towards two shows a year, and this obviously suffered for that. However, I also feel like at some point that’s just a thing we have to swallow if we’re going to enjoy the product at all (and given the time we spend watching, I think there’s something to be said for finding ways to make those 3-6 hours enjoyable).

In terms of the WWE’s intent in booking this PPV, it seems like a lot last night did exactly what it was supposed to do. It’s frustrating, but I’d rather ignore the big stupid forrest and focus on the cool ass trees. Like I would have loved to see Seth and Dean wrestle, but I enjoyed what I thought was some well done (if not slightly paint-by-numbers) storytelling that built to the match the WWE has told us will matter.

stempke
I’m glad that you typed that because it kind of makes me feel better about that match, but man. I always cringe a little when things don’t go according to plan in the ring because I don’t want any of my favourite superstars getting her. I was almost afraid during the Sheamus/Dolph confrontation, and Paige/AJ (it seemed) did not get enough practice time. There’s always Summerslam, and (having watched the RAW) I feel even better at what’s now going on.
Don’t get me wrong; some mishaps look amazing (see Dolph’s faceplant-from-the-top-rope and Erick Rowan’s attempt at sending someone over the top rope)!

I hated the shield non-match as much as anyone (hey if you want to delay ambrose-rollins until SummerSlam that’s cool… you just could have been brought to my attention yesterday!)… But the idea that braining seth rollins made ambrose not be able to contain himself and shout out in weird ejaculatory glee… well I just thought that was marvelous

My wrestling enthusiasm has been so beaten down by the last few months of WWE that I couldn’t even muster the energy to stay up for the pay-per-view. I have the Network, it’s right there, but an hour or so before it started I just sort of went to bed. It didn’t even feel like I made a decision. Just my body deciding that I might as well get an extra few hours of sleep and my mind not having a reason to put up a fight.

I caught up with Battleground today and it was exactly what I expected. Not particularly egregious, but just not inspiring anything resembling excitement in me. I can’t get behind post-Shield Roman Reigns (“Handsome Sheamus” is spot on) so I didn’t even have an alternative to LOL Cena Wins to hope for.

Three years of Bryan and Punk has left me unprepared for this current WWE product. Even AJ, who along with those two has been the fuel for my wrestling fandom for the last few years, seems to be phoning it in right now, for whatever reason. That match with Paige was sloppy as hell.

But then I look at the current WWE and NXT rosters and there are so many great wrestlers. People I want to root for. But they’re all just floundering. Filling space between IMPORTANT CENA MOMENTS. Why do I still care so much about a thing that doesn’t care about me?

Real talk, I’m pretty much done with WWE. After Summerslam, since I already paid for the stupid network, I’m pulling a CM Punk. You can find me on twitter talking about comics and hockey. And I hate hockey.

riverrun, past John and Nikki’s, from swerve of swerves to bend of Barrett’s elbow, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Titan Tower and Environs.

Sir Triple, violer d’amores, fr’over the short sea, had passen-core future endeavored from North Armorica on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war: nor had Buzz Sawyer’s rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselse to Sheamus County’s gorgios while they went doublin their mumper all the time.

I should have figured that Brandon’s boner for Paige would cause him to Best the Paige/AJ match, despite the fact that it was an awful match. Having a good ideas for a match does not make a good match when the execution of those ideas is sloppy and half-assed.

The Wyatts/Usos match, though, despite the outcome being one I vehemently disagree with, was spectacular. That match was insanely entertaining.

To be fair, AJ was Aksana-grade rusty and screwed up the spear to the outside and flip powerbomb spots. Or maybe AJ is only good compared to the old roster, and she looks like Cameron against the SDR trained women.

I thought AJ’s height was the issue with both spots. AJ practically needs to jump for Paige to be able to spear her between the top and middle ropes; and the angle was weird on that sunset flip powerbomb. The match was sloppy for sure, but I didn’t hate it. And I was happy that the crowd cared enough to chant. We know the talent is there, they just didn’t work very well together in their first real match.

I never read that move as a spear, just an attempt by Paige to wrestle AJ out the ring and AJ trying to fight it. It looked messy, but sometimes trying to throw other people around is messy. Sloppy only seems like a problem if it kills kayfabe, and obviously everybody’s got a different bar for where that is, but for me there’s a somewhat organic thing I enjoy to messy matches.

@Pencil-Necked Geek The only person Big E consistently looks like he’s gonna kill with that spear is himself. I saw him fall on right his head after his foot got hung up on the ropes like twice already.

The issue is, I think, that when the match is seamless it seems better. And those little wrinkles sometimes remind you that you are watching scripted wrestling. Like when a guy has to stand around longer than normal for the other guy to get his shit straight. Or when Paige is doing the defensive moves(selling) faster than AJ is throwing the offense.

One thing I hate that Divas seem to do ALL the fucking time is when the person taking a neckbreaker falls before the person delivering it. That rarely seems to be a problem for the guys, but it sure is for the ladies.

AJ and Paige hasn’t worked in any televised match (which is all I have seen). I think we all keep waiting for it to be awesome because they both look like if they had another person that could push them to another level it could be special. Unfortunately, they just don’t have chemistry. It’s ass every single time.

I have friends in Australia who said the bit made the news there today and people are not fucking happy about it at all. Nor should they be. Utterly disgusting decision by WWE. What kind of sociopath hears the news that 300 people were killed and thinks “Oh boy, this will be great for our comically stereotypical Russian characters to make fun of at the earliest possible convenience so the crowd will boo them!”?

And by Ukrainian rebels you meant imported Russian paramilitary troops with their own equipment. Local people have nothing to rebel against there. Especially if they are indeed Ukrainians.

On a wrestling related sidenote I hope that any coming Rusev face turn would involve him realizing that he’s Bulgarian and has zero reason to hang with a “Russian” and turns on Lana. Sadly no match is possible at that feud.

They didn’t win the second fall either. The exact same thing happened where Luke Harper is way too big for an Uso to roll up and he’s twisting and turning so much that his shoulders are CLEARLY up. Great match but I’m not sure it’s even in the top 10-15 matches of the year.

Cena’s offense has been getting progressively more gentle, adding to the disappointments. Soft landing AAs. Punches (including the 5 knuckle shuffle) that miss by 4-6″. A window in the STF that El Torito could leap through. Shouldertackles pulled so hard that there’s less force behind them than a gusty day. Just horrible.

wackazoa
I still remember that. I can’t remember if he did it in a match in 2012, but I clearly remember it being on Smackdown. On the entrance ramp, before TLC, Dolph Ziggler was the victim. And it looked amazing!

Also – all the flak from the Russian angle… Lana barely mentioned the “current events.” In fact, that’s all she said. “You want to blame Russia for current events.” That’s not the same as some tasteless joke or anything like it. In fact, it makes PERFECT sense for her character to mention it.

She shouldn’t have brought it up. The terrible tragedy happened only 4 days ago and Russia’s heavily linked to the disaster, as they are widely accused of arming the Ukrainian rebels who shot the plane down.

Taka – she said “current events.” Russia has been all over the news for months lately, hence the ENTIRE point of her character. If she made some joke about planes or AIDS doctors then I’d be right there with you, but she didn’t. You can’t have a character who exists solely based off of world news events and then completely ignore those events.

Lana NOT mentioning “current events” would have made no sense. Here is this Russian mouthpiece who has been spouting the virtues of her fearless leader, Vladimir Poo-teen, for months now. To just come out and praise him, in light of the current events, without actually mentioning them, would have garnered the same amount of flak from the press. I was fine with her mentioning it. It wasn’t like she said “My fearless leader endorsed the shooting down of that plane and I’m fine with it because Russia is strong!”

@Dan Peterson Current events would encompass the recent MH17 tragedy. That’s why Lana shouldn’t have brought it up. Maybe for the sake of argument, used the phrase ‘current events’. She could easily play her pro-Russia character without mentioning or hinting at it.

@Taka Michinoclue Her character would seem pretty weak and oblivious if she didn’t mention it. It’s literally been the top story on every major news broadcast since the event occurred. Putin is all over the news. Russia is all over the news. Lana addressing this fact is not an endorsement of the tragedy by any means.

I don’t know why, but the main reason I was against them mentioning or alluding to anything about the plane strike last night is the fact that it was a Malaysian plane filled with Dutch, Malaysian, Austrailian, ect. passengers. It’s just… too out of bounds at that point. If it were a Russian or Ukrainian military plane that was shot down, I might be okay with what the WWE did. And I cant explain why I would feel that way either. My shits all retarded.

I thought we liked Hollywood Miz now, though? I mean, he’s going nowhere near the title scene now that he’s got the IC belt, so we’ve got that going for us. No faith at all in a Bad News (For You, Heel, Not You, Crowd) Barrett and Hollywood Miz feud, even if the conclusion is obvious? Maybe I should be less optimistic.

I don’t know about you, but any time the Miz is involved, I am immediately pessimistic. I’m just not a fan of him though, so if you are maybe it will go someplace better than I am prepared to believe it will.

OK, I’m all for the idea that heels should be able to say and do horrible things to get heat…but there’s a line to be drawn somewhere. Things that legitimately and justifiably make people feel uncomfortable or even unsafe should be off limits. I was at an independent wrestling show at a comicon a couple weeks ago where Red Skull came out with a dude behind him in a gas mask carrying a HUGE Nazi flag. I’m not even remotely Jewish and that shit made me super uncomfortable. Especially because wrestling fans are horrible ironic hipster douchebags and several of them started doing the fucking “Heil Hitler” salute. Point being that some things are so offensive that they can deeply disturb people even if they’re being portrayed as obviously wrong or whatever and those things should be left alone because there’s plenty of ways to make people hate you without deeply and legitimately offending them.

Yeah, thanks guys. Now I feel like a real scumbag over here because I too would like to see Rusev start dropping N-Bombs. For one night only though. Maybe R-Truth gave him an NWA album or something backstage, and Rusev hasnt yet grasped the English language.

Wait they already did that with Vince McMahon and John Cena/Booker T, didnt they?

“If you are a child that loves John Cena, these are the Golden Days.” That line sums up the current state of WWE best, because as an unashamed Cena fan for years i cannot fathom how a male over the age of 12 could cheer for Cena as his favorite wrestler anymore. The character hasn’t evolved since Nexus, which was four years ago now. Worse every match is a generic repeat of his last match, he only brings his A-game when he needs to. He’s only going to face Brock because today’s 8-9 year olds can’t remember that Cena and Brock even have a two-year history, let alone a ten-year one.

I was a Cena fan for a very long time, probably longer than most grown men, but I have to agree with you…finally. I don’t mind him as a character whatsoever. I have a huge problem with him winning all the effing time? It’s not entertainment anymore if you can predict it so accurately. Even my 13 year old son can figure it out before it happens. Have some balls and do some unexpected stuff!

@Matt, i’d go as far to say that cena is significantly worse than Hogan at this point. Watching old Hogan matches on the Network, yes he always won the same way but he always looked like he was giving an effort. He could only wrestle a match one way, but dammit if he wasn’t gonna give it his all every time. Cena is capable of so much more, as evidenced by his feuds with Orton, Edge, HBK and his recent matches Punk, Bryan and Rock 1, that not making guys like Del Rio, Sandow or Wyatt look good is damaging to the whole company.

@jetspete @NotNotLickingToads Hogan was also most likely hung over, on cocaine, pills, steroids, etc. all at once during a lot of those matches, and was not in nearly as good cardio shape as Cena. Just because Cena doesn’t “sweat” in the ring as much as the very unhealthy-looking 80s/90s Hogan doesn’t mean anything.

Looks like that whole, “I’m sorry, have some good storylines and new talent.” period that occurred after Punk left has ran its course for good. So in that case, can we please get CM Punk back? He has so much material to work with if he comes back as a corporate heel.

-Overall, if I had to sum it up in one word, that word would be “filler”. Literally nothing advanced at this show. Sure, we have a new Intercontinental champion, but I’d say if Barrett can’t come back by Summerslam, he’ll be dropping that title to Sheamus, so that Albino John Cena can walk around with two belts around his neck like the real thing is doing.

-Tag title match was easily the highlight of the night, even with the wrong team winning. Had they ended it with Harper no-selling the Usos eleventy billionth superkick of the night and discus lariating him for the pin, it would’ve been the bee’s knees. As it was, it was the best match of the night (again, for what I saw), and it wasn’t even close. If they’re hell-bent on dragging this out until Summerslam, hopefully that pinfall-that-wasn’t that you highlighted will be the reason why. Seems like an appropriate direction to take after the “Which Uso got pinned” mystery (which will hopefully be solved by Jason Jordon and Tye Dillenger). Also, I’m watching the first season of Total Divas on the Network (I’m a glutton for punishment), and hearing Naomi/Trinity say that she loves working with Jon because “he knows all the moves”, and then watching a match like this, where he and his brother just do a bunch of superkicks and splashes, something seems incongruous, y’know what I mean? If this dude really knows all of these moves, then why is he stuck doing the ones that he’s clearly nervous about?

-Pretty much agree with everything about Rollins/Ambrose, but I’ll play devil’s advocate for that final segment of it (which I actually watched this morning, just to see how bad it was). Ambrose’s reasoning for hiding in the trunk was not only to avoid Triple H’s security goons, but also to make sure that, while hidden, he’d be in close proximity to get at Seth.

-Divas title match was, like you mentioned Brandon, a poor man’s Paige/Emma. Maybe my expectations were too high, but when I go in expecting something to rival Paige/Emma or Charlotte/Natalya, and instead get something closer to Alexa Bliss/Sasha Banks I, I’m going to be disappointed.

-Like you, I think they should’ve just ended the Swagger/Rusev match with the countout. Swagger did a boss sell job on the ringpost header, to the point where I heard the sound of whichever part of him hit the post and was sure that karma was finally delivering justice to him. They should’ve stretchered him out and let Lana talk tonight about how Rusev is not only more athletic than Americans, but also smarter than them too.

-And then I watched the next match, and promptly turned my television off and went to bed. I couldn’t even muster the energy to watch “The Strain”, which I was very much looking forward to and would’ve been able to watch instead of the last portion of the PPV. But my utter disgust at the WWE apparently actively deciding to shit on everything I like just made me turn my television and PS3 off and slouch of to bed, defeated. Remember when Wyatt beat Bryan and then followed it up with the big six-man win at Elimination Chamber? (That’s rhetorical – of course you do, you referenced it in the column.) Hard to believe that was just four months ago. Now he’s losing cleanly to a guy who will be doing some little-known rock festival in Helsinki or wherever come Survivor Series time. I wrote a column over at 411 expressing my disgust for the WWE’s use of Bray after that atomic start of the year that ran Sunday morning, and I got the usual “wait and see – Jericho is one of the best guys in the company about putting people over and he’s going to do it tonight”. Now, I feel completely vindicated in my assessment that where once Bray could’ve become the next Undertaker, dwelling in the magical land of AlwaysOver, now he’ll be lucky to become the next Kane.

-I did predict that Miz would win the IC title because he’s feuding with Sheamus, but in my heart of hearts, I was holding out hope for either Dolph or Cesaro. If tonight’s RAW doesn’t prompt me to swear off of wrestling for a while, I’ll probably check that match out later in the week.

The biggest WORST came in the Cena interview after. Called a night where every champ retained, a 43 year old part timer beats a young prospect, and Miz begins ANOTHER IC run a “ppv of change.” He needed to wink into the camera and do a crotch chop saying “suck it IWC” to redeem it. Otherwise Vince and Cena played a sick joke

No ones mentioned it, but I especially didn’t like Bray looking all panicked and shit over the Family being ejected. Does anyone else remember him happily sending off Harper and Rowan for his match against DB when they were ejected there? It made him that much stronger to win the match without those two there.

Now Wyatt looks like he was scared to lose his blanket and like he can’t win without them around. WWE continues to make him look weak as hell, and even if he wins at SS, how do you actually make it look strong right now? A clean win just equalizes things. A dirty win makes it look as bad as it did when he beat Cena in the cage match. About the only thing that could work would be for Bray to straight up murder Jericho in a extreme rules match, without any help from Harper and Rowan.

I thought everyone played that game. I had correctly guessed his hedge “Best/Worst” for Rusev/Swagger, but whiffed on my prediction for a Worst for AJ/Paige. Though in fairness the non-bolded text was a lot more worst than best.

“WWE seems so afraid of episodic storytelling, don’t they? You told your story. You hit the point hard. Now move to the next episode and tell THAT episode’s story instead of not telling any kind of anything for four weeks and then cramming it all into five pay-per-view minutes.”

To this point, I feel like the WWE is way, WAY too cognizant of two things: 1) The possibility of someone tuning into their product for the first time on any given show, and 2) the fact that a lot of fans pick and choose what shows/episodes they watch (IE: not watching Smackdown every week, or maybe skipping a Raw here and there). That’s why they repeat things constantly, and do stuff like what happened with Rusev and Swagger. They feel like they have to drill points home over and over to MAKE SURE everyone who may or may not be watching gets what’s going on. While it drives die hard fans crazy, they obviously feel it’s necessary to do to make everyone understands the situation.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I gave that a lot of thought after reading Brandon’s thoughts and that has to be it. I think they are constantly trying to get new people to watch to continue to grow their product and they know that the die hard fans will continue to tune in no matter what.

There’s no need for this though. These storylines are as deep as a puddle. This insane idea that we need everything repeated to us is just insulting. (I’m aware the average wrestling fan is probably not as bright as most of the commentators here.)

Just give us a chance, WWE. And as for the “possible first-time viewer” thing, that’s not happening. You have a fanbase who wants to see your product. Stop trying so hard to attract people that you turn off that fanbase. Things happen organically! You can even (shock!) just direct people to the website if they need caught up!

This isn’t hard! Which is why it’s so frustrating for this dumb company to be so dumb.

I’ve never bought the “we need to attract new viewers” explanation either because shows like Lost are incredibly popular and you need a flow chart to keep that stuff straight. Also every WWE program recaps everything anyway. There’s absolutely no reason to literally repeat story elements in the ring.

“Social Justice Warrior.” I do love how “not wanting media and culture to be full of sexist, racist bullshit” can some how be an insult. God bless the internet.

And I guess the Wyatts are done. A stable I loved more than The Shield or even the SES (seriously) was given no real direction, constantly had their motivations changed and never accomplished anything. Sometimes I wonder why I still watch WWE then I remember what “addiction” means and suddenly I’m tuning into the next Raw.

Rooney78, I don’t what they can do at this point. The Wyatts have accomplished next to nothing and have lost to damn near everyone important all while ever changing their motives and goals. In order to really fix this, WWE would need to knuckle down and build them from the ground up all over again: give them a consistent motivation, have them win clean, have them actually go over big names, etc. I just wonder if there’s any saving them at this point and if WWE even cares enough to try.

“Worst: Raise Your Hand If You Wanted Another Miz/Wade Barrett IC Title Rivalry”

…

*raises hand*

Honestly, as someone who has never cared about the Miz and HATED Mike Mizanin on Real World Back to New York, I’m kinda in love with his work on the mic and in the ring since he came back. The culmination was THE LETTER, which, as a Heat fan, was the single greatest piece of kayfabe writing I’ve ever read. I am SUPER down for a Miz Victory Party tonight in Miami featuring a live reading of The Letter. It would seriously bring the house down.

The Miz has been amazing since he came back and i’m seriously not ashamed to say that. If we get Miz VS Ziggler for the IC Chamionship i will be so happy! Great feud right there, Miz can say he doesn’t need to show off because he’s “the marine dammit!”

My problem is….. WE’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. Miz has gotten every chance in the world to get over. The only problem is he really isn’t that good in the ring and his heel work is above average but not great.

Give it to someone who could really use the rub or was actually over. This kind of thing was tailor made for Bo Dallas to do.

“Last night’s segment during WWE’s Battleground event was in no way referring to the Malaysia Airlines tragedy. The storyline with characters Rusev and Lana has been a part of WWE programming for more than 3 months. WWE apologizes to anyone who misunderstood last night’s segment and was offended.”
Well that is a hilariously silly response

“If you are a child that loves John Cena, these are the Golden Days. I can’t imagine how fun it must be. No wrestler (or sports team) I have ever cheered for has won this often. I can’t even process it. Good lord.”

Closest I can think of is being a Boston sports fan since 2001, but instead of the championships being spread between the Sox, Pats, Celtics, and Bruins, it’s just the Pats winning all of them.

I read it like “The Pats are the only ones who won championships in Boston since ’01” — I blame it almost entirely on my irrational Patriots hate, and my irrational Red Sox love. I’m a strange bird. A strange, illiterate bird.

How is it “best for business” to kick Dean Ambrose out anyway? Isn’t the “historic night” more ruined by cancelling one of the marquee advertised matches than it is by having one guy jump another, which happens on every other show? Triple H the character was an idiot last night.

And on that note, it ended up being the most unhistoric night ever. No cash in, no outside interference, no Brock, no title change. HHH didnt even have a trick up his sleeve. And Kane is the worst insurance policy ever.

The whole night was very confusing. Lots of bad matches, lots of endings that seem contradictory to the story told in the match. Just a big ad for Summerslam and not really a resolution to anything other than the tag match. Some thoughts:

The bait and switch of the Rollins/Ambrose match is borderline unforgivable. I know every “card is subject to change” but it seems like a great big slap in the face to change the lineup by removing one of the highly anticipated matches on a show a lot of people paid for. Maybe that’s the point, to drive home that people should be watching the Network and not buying PPV. If I’d have paid full boat for this show (which I might have in the past because of Rollins/Ambrose and both Wyatt matches looked certain to be great) I’d be angrily complaining right now. Doesn’t make much sense to pull that particular trick when you’re hemorrhaging cash.

AJ/Paige was okay, but not as good as expected. Thought it was weird that they were clearly telling the story that Paige doesn’t want to keep hurting AJ but AJ keeps kicking out. I was sure the match was going to end with Paige just beating the mess out of AJ and the latter refusing to quit. Then the announcers were all “WHAT IS GOING ON” and the match just kind of ended out of nowhere, so I’m not sure what was the deal there. Maybe I misread the psychology of the match.

I think we’re getting a Bray Wyatt face turn soon. He’s doing more interviews and taking more pictures with fans. They’re letting him acknowledge that his family has been in the business forever. Not sure how they’ll pull it off, but it feels like it’s coming.

Regarding Ambrose ambushing Rollins from the trunk, it looked like the trunk was already slightly open. This would allow Ambrose to be able to peek out and see when Rollins would come by as well as get fresh air to lay there a while.

As much as I hate Cena, that really isn’t accurate. He’s main evented every PPV since TLC 2013, but he lost to Orton clean at TLC. He also lost to Orton again the next month and also to Wyatt at ER (which was an awful match.)

But yeah, it’s kind of absurd just how protected Cena is right now. he hasn’t dropped put anyone over clean for non-health reasons in….. gosh maybe MITB 2011. His “worst year of his career” saw him win 2 titles and MITB, and then capped it by beating one of the biggest stars ever.

An old friend in High School had 3 of those shirts: One with Goku, one with Megatron, and one with a generic Chinese dragon. He wondered why he could never get a date. Eventually we had an intervention of sorts for him.

Vince has taken back control of the company. Only explanation. No risks will be taken. The fed is built around cena, women’s matches are built around AJ, but AJ is forbidden from actually working hard, she’s just eye candy. the tag-team division is non-existent, and part time stars of yesteryear get the glory new up and comers should be getting.

Cena winning, and winning the way he did, were totally expected, so I can’t really complain about something crappy that happened that we all knew was going to happen. But to just not even have the best match on the card, and then to have The Fucking Miz, of all people, win the battle royal, and also have the guy who could potentially be the biggest monster heel the company has seen in three decades take another clean loss… that’s just ridiculous.

When Seth was walking to the car it kinda looked like the trunk was cracked open. That doesn’t explain how Dean got in there in the first place though. Maybe he used a piece of flat metal like ever TV Show/Movie ever. That Ambrose, he’s crafty like that.

I think everyone missed the worst part of Rollins/Ambrose. And I’m sorry if I missed it but there were a lot of comments. But, why in God’s name is Seth Rollins even leaving for the night anyway!? He has the MITB briefcase and there is a Fatal Fourway for the title coming up, in which the winner would have to navigate his way through three other men and he himself would be somewhat fresh. And the guy who will never let him cash successfully, is supposedly not in the building!

If there is anything good that comes from this, it’s Ambrose finding more and more elaborate hiding places each week. Seth goes to the bathroom, checks each stall, tells his 20-man security detail to scram so he can poop in peace and .005 seconds later Ambrose jumps out of the garbage can!

Dean Ambrose gave me a jump scare (while sitting) during the backstage interview!

Why must it be Paige be “crowing?” Seriously, not all of that definition is positive, and hearing Michael Cole say it like that makes it sound as if he’s using it in the negative. -___-

Other commenters above me pretty much hit quite a good bit of points (along with you, of course) that I don’t really need to repeat. But I’m okay with The Miz holding on to the IC Championship if we get matches like his one on RAW post-BG.