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Hey, mister, tell me something funny

This is the third week of my comedy column and as I type these words, I am trying to think of something witty to show you how funny I am. Yeah, I got nothing.

Usually when people find out that I "do comedy," as they put it, the next thing said is, "So, tell me a joke." It doesn't work that way. It's like finding out someone is a chef and saying, "So, whip out your Coleman stove and cook me something." Come to think of it, I will start doing that with all my chef friends.

Generally, standup comedy is not about rattling off one joke at a time in person. Many comics have ideas and concepts that cover a couple of minutes or more. Plus, the formal setting of a stage of some type lets everyone know a performance is taking place. In line at Johnson's Boucaniere is not the best place to drop some witty humor, unless you want to hear my BBQ Boston butt material. Very few do, delicious as it may be.

Jason Leonard(Photo: Submitted photo)

Some comics fall under the one-liner category, which is basically a joke delivered in one line or a very short amount of time. Mitch Hedberg and Steven Wright are perfect examples of this style.

When I started performing, a majority of my jokes fell under this umbrella, as Hedberg was one of the comics that made me pay attention to comedy. This was almost 10 years before I even took the stage. Hedberg was the modern day Wright. Wright still performs today, so I guess he is the new modern Hedberg since Hedberg died, and therefore I think we stumbled upon a lost episode of Quantum Leap.

You can still see comics perform within this style. One of my favorite comics to pass through Lafayette is Derek Phelps out of Austin. His style, based around one-liners, also is accented with long, dramatic pauses. He brings the audience right up to the point of being uncomfortable with his pauses, and then hits them with a joke. "I hang some of my plants at home because I want to show the others who is boss," is easily one of my favorite jokes of his.

A statement or question one-liner, if done correctly, can make the audience think deeper than the words said, often resulting in a delayed, rich laugh.

Sasheer Zamata(Photo: Submitted photo)

Before I get to what is coming up this weekend, I have another national comic announcement. Sasheer Zamata, who currently is a cast member on Saturday Night Live, will perform July 25 at JP's Bar. Zamata also is the creator of the critically acclaimed web series "Pursuit of Sexiness," and has performed with the Upright Citizens Brigade. Tickets are on sale now here.

This Saturday, Isaac Kozell and Lane Lonion will perform at Poet's for the weekly "Hams On Rye Comedy Night." Both of these comics killed when they opened for Mike Lawrence in March.

Kozell, formerly of Pittsburg, is a New Orleans based comedian and writer. He currently writes for splitsider.com and Savage Henry Magazine. He has interviewed comedians and actors such as Trevor Moore from The Whitest Kids U' Know, Kyle Kinane, and Archer producer Matt Thompson. This summer he will be performing at the fourth annual Savage Henry Comedy Festival in Humbolt County, California.

Lonion recently moved from Lafayette to New Orleans, where he quickly became a stage favorite. While in New Orleans, his alter-ego emerged as Gaston Hebert, the only Cajun-juggalo comic in the world. We will have more on Gaston next week.

Isaac Kozell(Photo: Submitted photo)

The Hams On Rye Comedy Night kicks off at 10 p.m. this Saturday at Poet's. After the comics, the open mic portion of the show begins. Open mic allows new and experienced comics stage time to work on material. Think of it as a music open mic, just with fewer renditions of "Wonderwall" by Oasis.

Sunday, comics Julie Mitchell and Mary-Devon Dupuy from New Orleans will perform at JP's Bar as part of the weekly Dead Cell Comedy night. The show begins at 9 p.m. with the open mic, followed by Mitchell and Dupuy.

If you are interested in trying your hand at standup comedy, come by any of the open mics, or drop us an email at lafayettecomedy@gmail.com. There are a few basic rules to know, but the best way to learn is to watch a live show.