I put on Facebook that if in the unlikely scenario that Jesus actually returns, I won't let him take me without a fight and can look after my believing friends' pets when they've gone up to heaven. I charge 3 grand an animal and would prefer to be paid in advance.

Here's a thought. Make a bet with one of Camping's followers for, oh say, $100,000.00 that the rapture won't happen. And, fully let them know that if they're right, there is no way you can collect. However, on the off chance that they're wrong, have them sign a deed over to you on their house and title to their car before the May 21st, and you agree not to register them till May 23rd. See how many takers you get.