These are just a few words that sum up last night’s Primetime Emmy Awards.

Due to reasons unknown, the Emmy Awards, originally scheduled for Sunday, September 18th, was pushed ahead two full days.

“We can’t elaborate on why we had to do it, but I wish we didn’t have to. What happened last night was just brutal.” -Shaunessey MacDorgle, Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS)

With the ceremonies advanced, several celebrity presenters were unable to make it, and the ATAS had their work cut out for them to find suitable replacements for presenters and presentations.

Seth Rogen, Before and After his significant weight loss.

One of the additions was a short segment on Obesity in America, presented by Seth Rogen, to raise awareness of a dire and steadily growing issue in the US.

“I was thrilled to be asked to present at the Emmy’s about this issue. It’s definitely a really scary thing. Believe me, I didn’t think I could drop the weight, but if I can do it, anyone can.” -Seth Rogen

Work to Win, a band from Levittown, PA, scheduled to perform at the Emmy's.

To follow, Work to Win, a local band from Levittown, PA, was slated to play their new song written just for the occasion, “We’re All Big in Some Way.”

“I don’t know how they found us, but who the hell is going to turn up a chance to play at the Emmy’s?” -Work to Win

But as Work to Win was about to take the stage, that’s when disaster struck.

Shaking ensued. Screaming could be heard from outside. A ‘roar’ became louder and louder.

A large tractor trailer bearing the Nabisco branding barreled straight through the main entrance of the Nokia Theater and into the main auditorium.

A Nabisco truck, similar to one reported stolen Friday afternoon.

It made a sharp left turn, causing it to roll over, spilling copious amounts of Nabisco baked goods throughout the theater. Luckily, nobody was immediately injured, however three audience members were taken to area hospitals after becoming nauseous from indulging in a number of ‘free treats.’

The crowd was in a raging panic. People were screaming and rushing towards the exits. Absolute pandemonium.

“I didn’t know what the hell was going on. I just see this cookie truck speeding down the road and all of a sudden it just slams right through the front of the building. I wasn’t sure to think if it were some freak accident or terrorist attack of some kind.” -Harold Derp, frightened onlooker.

Amongst the chaos, the driver of the truck, comedian Louie Anderson, emerges from the cabin. Visibly angry at something, Mr. Anderson was screaming towards those still remaining on the stage, however his efforts at speaking were for not, as his enormous girth greatly impedes his ability to speak. What was heard instead was incoherent gibberish.

Comedian Louie Anderson, driver of the stolen Nabisco truck.

“mrrrgggllbbbbrrrggllldddrrrppplllggrrppplll” -Louie Anderson

Sources say that Mr. Anderson had been in constant ‘begging’ with the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences to make an appearance at the Emmy awards to speak of the Obesity issue, however the ATAS was not interested.

“We literally received phone calls every day from him, it was ridiculous. Who wants to hear from a fat ass that we should all get up and exercise to fight obesity? Besides, he’s not even that funny.” -Bonnie Beaver, ATSA Spokeswoman.

Police quickly subdued the corpulent ‘celebrity’ with five shots of bear tranquilizer, and towed him to the nearest detention center. As the ceremonies were unable to continue, they have been postponed until Sunday, September 25th at the Staples Center. The festivities will begin with Work to Win as that is where today’s events left off.

Formal charges against Mr. Anderson should be known in the coming days.

OKAY, so I know not many of you are into the whole computer thing as I am, however yesterday I found out that Microsoft was releasing Windows 8 as a Developer’s Preview for FREE to anyone who wanted it. Naturally I started freaking out and wanted it right away. Hell, I even downloaded the Vista Beta when it came out years ago (and you thought the official Vista release was bad…)

Anywho, so I decided that I would put my two cents in, along with some fancy pictures, and review how it’s been this past… day.

NOTE – PLEASE CLICK THE PICTURES TO SEE THEM IN THEIR FULL SIZED GLORY– T.HANKS.

MAIN SCREEN

In all of it's greeny, tiley goodness.

I’ve seen pictures of this and I’ve gone, “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” It looks like something that should be on a touch screen, or some form of tablet computer. This is going to be on desktops? You bet your ass it is. If you follow any other Microsoft projects or gadgets, it heavily resembles the theme of Windows Phone 7 with the “Metro UI,” which I do really like a lot. The tiles are called “live tiles” which means that they’re always changing; for example the Stocks tile will update you with stock info right on the screen, and when you click it the whole app comes up. It’s nice for real quick information. The weather is another handy one, which in this case is showing me the forecast for the next few days.

Seeing as this is a Developer’s Preview, I’m sure the ability to change the wallpaper or at least the background color will come in the main release of Windows 8 (or whatever it’s called by then), but for now I’m stuck with this… green. Which is not too pleasing, but that’s just me.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t grab a screenshot but before you get here, you go through the “Lock Screen” (yup, even on desktops), and it’s just a wallpaper with the time and date on it. You have to click and drag the picture up to get to the Login, or hit the Up Arrow. If there are any other ways of doing this, I don’t know.

But I will say something. It loads FAST. You’re up and able to use all of teh internets in a matter of seconds.

WINDOWS 8 APPS

Do you love right clicking? I know I do! YOU NEED IT TO DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING IN WINDOWS 8.

In essence, right clicking in Windows 8 is like your mom making you hang out with the kid from school that nobody likes, or else you’re grounded if you don’t. So as you stare blankly at an open app wondering what the hell you’re supposed to do to make it work, try right clicking. I guarantee you that it will solve your problem. Wanna go to a new web page? Right click! Update Twitter? Right click! Save an Image off of a web page? Right click! Oh wait, for some reason that’s not an option anymore…

INTERNET EXPLORER

Don’t worry, Microsoft still left its shitty ass browser in this version of Windows. As seen in the upper left of the main screen, by clicking the Internet Explorer tile, you get the fancy new Windows 8 version of IE. (Is it IE10 now?)

IE10 blinding me with way too much white.

As with all of the Windows 8 native apps, it shows it’s stupid ass face in eye gauging full-screen misery. Because of this, you have to right click to pull up the address bar as well as the tabs at the top, and then right click again to go back to the internets.

IE10 showing you its huge ass tabs and small ass address bar.

It’s a pain in the ass because I’m used to everything just being on the screen, but that’s not how IE10 rolls. One thing that gets me, as I previously mentioned, was the lack of the ability to Save an Image from a web page, or anything for that matter. I’m just assuming this only affects the Windows 8 native version, not the one you run on your ‘desktop’ which I will get to later on. And another thing, again, being in preview, it lacks the support for pretty much anything, Flash or Java, so you really can’t use it for much right now except general web browsing. No YouTube allowed.

FACEBOOK

"Socialite" in all of it's blacky plain-ness.

This app which I almost overlooked is called “Socialite.” Really there’s not much to say about it, except if you’re a really dark, depressed, plain Facebook user, you’re going to love it. It’s the blandest app I’ve seen thus far, having a mainly black, sullen and downtrodden color scheme. It’s also very lacking in the feature department, but again, probably just because it’s a preview. You can see updates from other people, look at their page, however you can’t watch any videos that are posted, nor look at their photos or albums. Really needs some work.

I must say I love this app so far. Not saying it’s perfect, sheesh no, but it’s got a great looking interface, shows all of my tweets, my friends’ tweets, and I can even look at all of the tweets from specific people if I so choose. And, a bonus from this app is that it allows for uploading images into my tweets right from inside the app. Definitely going to make it a lot easier for me to spam my friends with stupid pictures I find and/or make once this bad boy goes Retail.

WEATHER

Rain tomorrow for papers? Shocker.

Another app that I absolutely LOVE. Mainly because I’m an avid fan of all things weather-related, but also because it looks so damn snazzy. Sure, it’s going to tell me that a major thunderstorm is going to roll into town right during papers, but how could I be upset when it’s showing me in such an awesome fashion? The backgrounds change depending on the time of day and the weather, AND they’re animated! So that fog was flying by the screen while I stared at the “60% Chance of Rain” slated for tomorrow. You also have the option of looking at the hourly forecast, which just skips by a few hours here and there, as well as setting up multiple cities and looking at every forecast at once. Really cool! I can’t wait to see what the other animations are~ Only one problem though. I don’t know how to make the tiles NOT GREEN. Hopefully this will be fixed with updates.

MEMORIES

This app would be really cool if I took a lot of pictures. It’s pretty much just a crafty little way to ‘scrapbook’ your pictures and stuff into a little story to look over for years to come until Windows 9 comes out and Memories doesn’t work anymore. You can also add videos to it, which I find really cool. If I take a lot of pictures and or video at the Polar Bear Plunge, I will definitely be putting it up in this biatch. Check out this sample scrapbook it comes with!

It was only yesterderp...

FLASH CARDS (wtf?)

This little gem is one of a few little extra gamey, doo-dads they threw in there just so people have something to mess with. It’s got two modes: you can study and learn facts about the pre-loaded shit they give you, and then you can get quizzed on them. Here’s a little peek at a quiz:

I'm stumped.

WHERE’S OLD MAN JENKINS THE WINDOWS I WAS JUST GETTING USED TO?

In a move of “J/K LULZ” look what shows up:

"Desktop," or what I like to call "Windows 7 Mode"

Looks familiar, doesn’t it? “But, I thought Windows 8 was gonna be that tiled up doohickey!” Not the case. This is called “Desktop” and I guess it’s considered an app. Pretty much, any shit that doesn’t have a Windows 8 native counterpart can be run here. For instance, I’m running Windows Explorer, Microsoft Word 2010, and Windows Media Player on this bitch. The ‘snap’ feature is still intact where the windows can be dragged to the sides of the screen, and Aero is obviously still there as well. The only noticeable changes are that the windows are more squared-off instead of rounded at the edges, and the Start button on the task bar brings you right back to the tiled main screen instead of a Start Menu. That little feature confused the shit out of me at first.

“SWAPPING” / “LOCKING” ?

To be honest, I don’t know what the correct term is for this, but what I mean by that is Windows 8 apps have the ability to be dragged onto the screen with another app, and run as either a somewhat large or somewhat small version. For instance, while on the desktop, I can check my Twitter feed! Look:

HOLY CRAP, TWITTER ON MY WINDOWS 7/8! #hashtagzrule

What’s cool about this little feature is that not only can you be up to speed on all of your friends’ tweets / tweet yourself while you’re doing your computing activity, but that you can switch them around to the left or right sides, and even put any other Windows 8 apps in there. Here are some more examples!

Facebook and Stocks! Wow!

Weather and News! Wow!

The real reason for this feature.

PERFORMANCE

It works very, very fast. You’ll also notice when using Windows 8 that there’s no closing of apps, unless you’re using the desktop with non-Windows 8 shit. When an app isn’t needed, whether you’re not running it or you’re not looking at it’s tile on the main screen, it suspends the app:

The New-and-Improved Task Manager! (raucous cheers)

However the lack of ‘closing’ an app or program still doesn’t sit right with me. I still instinctively think it’s open, just plotting on when to eat up all my processes… What an asshole.

OVERALL

Well, it’s too early to tell how this is gonna be come release time. However, I really do like the whole interface, but it’s just going to take some practice and getting used to. I find myself clicking all over the place and losing track of what I’m trying to do just from trying to find what I was looking for. And since things move very fast, it’s easy to get caught up in windows just flying around everywhere if you’re trying to find a program you were using earlier. I don’t know if this is going to be much of a desktop success, either, but only time will tell. Oh, there’s also the “Windows Store” which will be active in later versions, and it will feature many apps that were written specifically for this OS. Once it has a good amount of native stuff, it’ll be much better to use. I would definitely be interested in buying a tablet PC with this running on it.

Wellp, thank you all for reading my nerd blog, hopefully you non-geeks found some humor out of this. I tried my best to keep it funny~

Netflix raises prices by up to 60% for both new and existing customers.

WASHINGTON (CP) – It is a day that will live in infamy. On July 12, Netflix sent a notice out to it’s customers about a change in their pricing policies. And customers are not happy.

Netflix has decided to withdrawal the Instant Streaming service from their DVD-by-Mail packages, requiring customers to purchase two separate plans instead of the one bundled plan it has offered since it started offering streaming video in 2007. Before the increase, customers were able to subcribe to a “1-Disc” plan, and instant streaming, for $9.99 a month. With the new plan, the streaming will cost $7.99 a month, and the price for just 1-Disc per month will also cost $7.99, totaling $15.98/mo for what customers are currently paying $9.99. Customers are taking this as Netflix suggesting that what they are paying now is worth 60% more tomorrow.

Much frustration was voiced by means of Social Networking platforms (i.e. Facebook, Twitter). As of 10:40pm on July 18th, there were a total of 78,112 comments on Netflix’s Facebook page, with many customers publicly making known their gripes about the new pricing model.

They said it won’t go into effect until September 1st, so let’s cancel on September 2nd and show ’em who’s boss! -Anonymous Facebooker

This is total bs… The new separate billing for something that already existed and people were happy with just got ruined. In September I am cancelling this…and I will just Red Box this (expletive) -Another Anonymous Facebooker

Everyone hates Netflix now. I told someone at work I was going to watch a movie on Netflix tonight, and they asked me while I still use Netflix after they just (expletive) everyone over. I told them don’t worry, I will cancel before my next bill. -Yet Another Anonymous Facebooker

The uproar of complaints and cancellation threats has made it’s way into politics. British Actor Alan Rickman, best known for his roles as Hans Gruber in Die Hard, and as Professor Severus Snape in the Harry Potter film series, has voiced his opposition to the pricing increase at a rally in Washington DC.

Alan Rickman speaks at a rally in Washington D.C.

“Everyone in America is facing economic hardships. Living day by day is difficult enough as it is. And our escape from everyday life comes through the medium of entertainment. Box office prices are at an all-time high. If in-home entertainment keeps rising in prices, it will bring utter catastrophe to this nation and it’s citizens. This has brought me to my decision that I am going to run for the position of President of the United States in 2012.”

Alan Rickman, being British born, is clearly inelligible for the US Presidency, however for some reason the United States government has allowed him to run for the office, sparking much controversy in the general public.

Dude’s a wizard, I’m telling you. Probably used some sort of, confunalumdumnus spell or something. But that would be SICK! -O.J. Sampson, School Bus Driver

Twitter is now buzzing about that his role as Severus Snape was by far, not a fluke. Rumors are widespread that Alan Rickman, is indeed, a wizard.

It’s awesome, but at the same time, it’s really scary. If he can control the governments’ mind, whose to say he’s not going to take over ours? -Harold Derp, frightened citizen

U.S. President Barack Obama just recently addressed the nation, saying

Barack Obama addresses the nation on Friday, July 15.

“I understand that the rumors have become more widespread, and that people of this great nation are now in fear. But there’s nothing to worry about. There’s no such thing as mind contr–… My Fellow Americans, I officially withdraw my re-election campaign, and fully endorse Mr. Rickman for the 2012 Presidency.”

There has been no official statement in regards to the President’s gaffe, but many suspect that the wizard rumors are true, and that Alan Rickman is behind this. However, recent polls have shown that 46% of citizens are willing to put the rumors aside, as long as Netflix’s pricing plans return to their original rates.

Today, Verizon officially announced that a CDMA version of the iPhone 4 will be available on their network starting on February 10th, 2011, or even as early as February 3rd for qualified Verizon Wireless customers.

I will not be one of the fools camping out for one. Why? Here are some reasons why I’m going to pass on the iPhone.

Same old 3G Network

Verizon Wireless just recently launched their 4G LTE network in select markets, one of them being Philadelphia and the surrounding suburbs. The iPhone only runs on the current 3G network. Why waste an upgrade to spend two more years on 3G when 4G LTE phones, which are (claimed to be) 10x’s faster than 3G are just around the corner?

Nothing New.

There is little to no difference between this iPhone and the current iPhone 4 on AT&T for the exception of two things: 1. The Antenna design has a few changes due to the difference in networks, and 2. The software allows the Verizon iPhone to be a mobile hotspot for up to 5 devices. Knowing Verizon, though, the hotspot feature will require you to pay more per month. Verizon also declined to comment on whether there will be a new model each year, as Apple has done with AT&T every June. (iPhone, 3G, 3GS, 4.)

CDMA = No Simultaneous Data and Voice

When I was reading about this feature before, I always said to myself, “Who the hell needs data and voice at the same time? That’s a stupid reason.” Recently, however, I found myself really wanting needing this feature. While I’m out delivering papers, I’m often on Skype with my friends. On a few occasions, I needed to bring up my list of houses to double check a few customers. In order to do that, I need to hang up the Skype call so I can use data, and then once downloaded, go back to Skype. Or, when I’m tethering my iPad to my Droid to use Skype via Verizon 3G, I’m tossed off immediately if a phone call comes in, and I need to reset the settings on both once the call is complete.

No Early Upgrade Promotion

Come on, Verizon. We know you have nothing to lose from this deal but the fact that there’s no Early Upgrade really leaves a bad taste in my mouth. You know that everyone has wanted a Verizon iPhone ever since it was launched on AT&T back in June, 2007, but instead you choose to dick over your customers by making them pay full pop (because you know they will) if their upgrade isn’t ready at launch date. One of these very wanting customers is my brother, whose upgrade is not eligible until September, and he’s not willing to wait that long. The next person available to upgrade is yours truly, with an upgrade date in March. This means that I’ll have to surrender my upgrade date to my brother in order for him to get one, but I really wanted to upgrade my phone to a new 4G LTE device ASAP. We get that AT&T did the Early Upgrade Promo for the iPhone 4 in a move to keep customers from eventually switching to Verizon, but it also raised expectations that Verizon should offer a similar deal to their customers.

Did I mention that I REALLY like Android?

Anyone who knows me should know that I absolutely love my Motorola Droid. For one, the thing is a beast. It has taken a serious beating and still works perfectly fine, however the battery is sub-par, it runs very slow compared to the Android devices out now, and has it’s share of quirks that make me itch to get an upgraded device.

There’s one big feature that I keep saying that makes or breaks the deal for me: Turn-by-turn Navigation. I’m spoiled by Google Navigation Beta, which comes for free on every Android device. My GPS has been broken for a very long time now, and having a GPS ready on my phone has been a very convenient feature. I use it almost all of the time in conjuncture with my Droid Car Dock. The iPhone offers a very crappy GPS, if you want to call it that, that just uses triangulation to determine your location, so it’s not always sure what road you’re really on. Plus, it’s not turn-by-turn, it just gives you a list of turns similar to if you were looking up on MapQuest.

Other than the GPS Navigation, Android seems like a much better platform for a Phone, in my personal opinion. The notification bar is really a great feature, synchronization with a Google Account to store Contacts and Calendar information is fantastic (and free), and Android can be modded, rooted, etc. I really look forward to new Android devices this year that have a front-facing camera, along with better specs than my Motorola Droid.

If the iPhone were to be available on the 4G LTE Network, this would change things slightly, but with new Android devices coming very soon, such as the HTC Thunderbolt and the Motorola Bionic, I probably would get one of those instead. Hopefully the next iPhone release (who knows when that will be on Verizon) will work on 4G LTE networks, but I doubt that turn-by-turn navigation will be added. We’ll just have to wait and see.

I believe that I have without a doubt the worst SEPTA luck out of anyone, that is unless you have experienced a derailment, which I’m sure is coming my way very shortly.

Typically, the train I get on gets there between 3-5 minutes late. Okay, that’s not too bad, trains are always subject to the few minutes here and there. But on numerous occasions while en route, the train will just stop in the middle of the tracks for a good five minutes. I don’t know why it does, I haven’t talked to the driver, but for some reason it just stops. Either that or it goes dreadfully slow for some reason. On a normal day, I arrive at Temple University about 10 minutes after the scheduled arrival time, which is not good as the train times cut it close as it is.

However, it’s just the darndest thing that whenever I’m running late, the trains are on time! In an effort to get to Temple and not have to book it to class, I decided to take the 830am train instead of the 907 so I would get there with plenty of time to kill. Well traffic was a bummer and I hit a school zone (I’ll talk about this later), and got there at 8:31 just to see the train pull away from Langhorne. What the hell is up with that? They must have known I was running late and wanted to pull a fast one on me. So I waited for the 907 train. Was it late? You bet it was! Got there about 9:10, 9:11. Sure, it’s only three minutes but had that been the case for the earlier train, I would’ve made it!

I also found it hilarious while I was checking the train times during a class for my train that came in one hour, it was already marked “4 Late.” Gee, not surprising at all. For the most part, everyone I know who uses SEPTA on a daily basis doesn’t have these issues and their trains are on time.

Other instances that prove I’m bad luck: Me and my friend Jeff Hall were returning from a trip to South Philadelphia (Tony Luke’s to be specific) and we arrived at Suburban Station and missed the train back home, and had to wait for the next one. It was sweltering hot down there, so we decided to take the Warminster Line up to Jenkintown just to get out of the heat, and wait there for the West Trenton Line train which came 25 minutes afterward. We get in the train and leave the station to find out that the air conditioner in the car in which we were sitting was broken, and we dead stopped before Wayne Junction so mechanics could board the train to see if they could fix it. If they couldn’t, we were to jump on another train. So we sat there for ten minutes while they hit things with wrenches and flipped a switch and I believe it worked. I couldn’t tell. Had to be the car that we picked, and had to be the train line we decided to go on. We eventually did make it to Jenkintown but we would’ve been better off waiting at Suburban.

Another situation was just this week, where I decided to take an earlier train on Tuesday (645 instead of 655) which was an express train that didn’t stop at Temple, but stopped at Fern Rock TC. I was to go to Fern Rock and take the Broad Street Line down to Cecil B. Moore Station (Temple University) just to see if it were any more time-efficient than taking the Local 655 train to Temple. Remind me to never do this again, as it was such a hassle. But anyway, my friend Noel rides this train on a daily basis, and it usually gets to Fern Rock around 710. The day I decide to ride this train, they just happened to be one car short, and everyone had to pack into the car we were in. We also made the infamous SEPTA “stop randomly for a number of minutes” move because I was on this train, and didn’t get to Fern Rock until around 718 or so, which caused me to miss the earlier subway train down to Temple. I still made it to class with time to spare.

Another reason why I did the above ^^ – on Monday, I was feeling a bit tired on the way down to school and decided to squeeze in some sleep on the train. I got a little too much sleep, slept right past the Temple station, and woke up as it was pulling into Market East Station (the very next stop after Temple). So I rode the train to Suburban Station and then took the Broad Street Line back up to Temple, and still made it with 10 minutes to spare. I wanted to feel my options out if there ever would be a situation that I would have to take an alternate route.

I really think that SEPTA’s waiting for an exam day to pull a big one on me, such as a train derailment, collision, or maybe even a suicidal patron will mosey onto the tracks.

If you’d like to hear more about my daily, and yes, I mean daily, SEPTA complaints, follow me on twitter @mackdaddyps2 ! My #traintweet-s- have been catching on with a number on my friends, and now I’m starting to post #trainhaiku-s-, I’m sure you wont want to miss that!