Pregnancy and you blog

Foreskin: To keep or not to keep?

You might favor circumcision if the practice is part of your faith or religious rituals. Concerns about personal hygiene sometimes factor into the decision. You might also view circumcision as a way to prevent any medical issues that could be associated with an uncircumcised penis — or you might simply want your son to look like other boys or men in the family (or the locker room).

On the other side of the debate, you might feel that circumcision is simply unnecessary or even disfiguring. Unless there's a medical need for the procedure, you might feel strongly about keeping your son's foreskin intact.

Whether you're learning toward or against circumcision, you might be surprised by how emotional the decision can become. Take my husband, for example. He assumed that our son would be circumcised and I was upset (as only a pregnant woman can be!) that he would think the decision would be automatic.

It gets even trickier if your partner is circumcised and you'd rather your son remain uncircumcised — or vice versa. If you're navigating this challenging situation, be careful to reassure your partner that your preference isn't a reflection on him or a statement about his own penis.

If you're having trouble agreeing on circumcision or the topic has become the elephant in the room, take charge. Set aside time to discuss your preferences. Review the risks and benefits, and then discuss what you want for your son. Even if you're expecting a girl, have the circumcision discussion — just in case there's a penis hiding from the ultrasound waves.

As you're discussing circumcision, remember that the decision isn't always analytical. It's OK to make the decision based on feelings and emotions. Talk to your partner, make your decision and then be at peace — knowing that you've made the best choice for your baby.

Did you discuss circumcision with your partner before pregnancy? Was it difficult to reach an agreement? Please share your stories.

16 Comments Posted

Why is that only the United States and two religions, Jewish and Islam, along with at handful of African tribes routinely practice circumcision? The rest of world does not practice this act. If it is so beneficial, why doesn't everyone get circumcised? If a man, over the age of 18, wants to get circumcised, it should be his decision. However, it should not be the decision of the parents or doctors when it is practiced on a baby or anyone under 18 years. It is not anyone else's body to decide unless it is life threatening. Please, let the individual effected be the decision maker.

Mike

June 3, 2015 11:47 a.m.

Genital male mutilation is promoted in the Mayo article to "save" men from rare conditions. The health "benefits" are grossly overestimated, and benefit mostly the very ignorant or very unhygienic. Should we force mastectomy into females in puberty to prevent breast cancer, which is far more common than penile cancer? CIRCUMCISION IS A BARBARIC ACT NOT MUCH DIFFERENT FROM ABLATION. How many uncircumcised men praise the benefit of circumcision? This article sounds like a bunch of circumcised guys trying to make the rest of humanity look like themselves. There are very limited benefits in circumcision, once you account for the frequency of the events against which the protection is claimed. Tell it as it is, with facts and figure, and measure risk in the total population.

JJ GG

March 4, 2015 7:58 p.m.

Good grief. Did staying "in tact" affect your ability to read and/or follow directions? The question was. "Did you discuss circumcision with your partner before pregnancy? Was it difficult to reach an agreement? Please share your stories."
Yes. My Husband and I did discuss this issue before we had our son and after we had our 8 daughters. We did extensive research, we prayed about it, we spoke with our friends around the world in Japan, Sri Lanka, Korea, London, Canada, Mexico, Russia, Brazil, Australia, New Zealand and of course all across the USA. After about 3.5 months of discussion, we chose to have our son circumcised.

Sarah

January 21, 2015 5:56 p.m.

It is time for doctors to stop this barbaric act on boys who are not given a choice in the matter. However, until this procedure is stopped on innocent babies boys, the medical profession should work to develop a safe and economical procedure to restore the foreskin. In this day and age, that should be possible. At least those boys who were circumcised and want to to whole again, will then have a choice.

Bob

September 19, 2014 2:27 p.m.

Male circumcision is mutilation. Period... How arrogant to think that something that nature took thousands and thousands of years to perfect has to be removed because "it is not necessary"... I believe that in no more than a decade western society will come to look upon male circumcision as just a barbaric a practice as female circumcision is now considered to be...

Tom Thumb

September 13, 2014 5:18 p.m.

I can't believe we're still mutilating baby boys in this country. And then when he cries at night you call it "colicky." If you're reading this and you have any doubt in your mind- don't do it.

Amy

April 9, 2014 2:25 p.m.

It may be helpful for parents to perform an educated research review prior to making decisions. The American Academy of Pediatrics has evidence based material regarding supporting circumcision.

Ally

August 11, 2013 10:33 p.m.

I don't know how a women can understand how a circumcised man feels. I have no calloused penis head and no loss of sensation. I actually have more sensation because I don't have any extra skin in the way sliding around.
Plus, my nephew was not circumcised, and the skin grew to the head of his penis. Surgery was required to have it removed. He was not to happy about it.

Hank

August 6, 2013 7:26 p.m.

I am a European male and left my son's private parts alone. As a teenager he profoundly thanked me for it after observing his buddies in the showers. Not a smidgen of a feeling of 'not fitting in' on his mind - just gee, doesn't that hurt rubbing against your pants all day? Why is circumcision so prevalent in the US? Here one aspect of the (perhaps many more) reasons: According to Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (of cornflake fame), “Circumcision in infancy is a good remedy for masturbation, it helps in most cases. It is important to perform surgery without using any anesthetic so that pain during an operation may affect the mind. It would be good if pain could be also associated with the idea of punishment. Cauterizing the clitoris with carbolic acid can help women combat the perverted ways of getting sexual pleasure.” E.J. Spratling, MD. Medical Record, Masturbation in the Adult, vol. 48, no. 13, September 28, 1895, pp. 442-443). Read more about it in Wikipedia.

Herb

July 31, 2013 1:49 p.m.

My doctor said she'd do the procedure if I offered to hold him down. That did it. I opted for no procedure.

Karen

July 21, 2013 6:20 p.m.

Why is there a double standard for sons and daughters? A man has every right to decide for himself how he wants his his body to look and feel and how he keeps himself clean, protect himself from disease or treat any &quot;medical issues&quot;. &quot;Personal hygiene&quot; means the PERSON who OWNS the penis, not the concerns of others, and it takes care of all these so called &quot;benefits&quot;. Kids manage to learn how to complicated tasks like brushing their teeth and cleaning their genitals is much easier to figure out. Just like women, men don't need a scalpel to clean their genitals or to stay healthy. Parents cannot predict the future choices and preferences of their sons. The most responsible thing for parents to do is to leave it alone and let the guy decide for himself based on his own experience. Teach your son basic hygiene, safe sex and a positive body image instead of removing part of him. Circumcision of infant boys is the ultimate form of body-shaming, based on the idea that men are too stupid to clean themselves.

Angel

June 12, 2013 2:58 p.m.

As a woman what would your stance be the same for female circumcision? I know people say its more traumatic for girls but the medical community forgets to mention that when comparing they are only including the worst form which is removal of the clitoral hood and the clitoris as well. The medical community fails to address thats ALL forms of any genital cutting is outlawed (as it should be) for girls despite religious practices. Why isnt it for boys? Foreskins are used for lotions ( see Oprahs lotion she is promoting), diabetic amputations and much more. Follow the money! If such a worthless piece of skin why then is it being used for these products. What happened to the DO NO HARM oath you swore to uphold? This violatesa boys Human Rights and our First Amendment Freedom of Religion.

Anonymous

May 24, 2013 12:20 p.m.

For the baby: Circumcision interferes with maternal/infant bonding, disrupts breastfeeding and normal sleep patterns, and undermines the baby's first developmental task of establishing trust. Circumcision is painful even if an anesthetic is used, leaves both physical and psychological scars, and denies the baby's right to his whole body and his choice about the shape of his own genitals.
For the man the baby becomes: Circumcision removes the most sensitive part, the working part of the penis. It robs a man of the tens of thousands of nerve endings that encircle the opening of the foreskin, which allow a man's brain to know what his penis is feeling, and the loss of these is why circumcised men never ride the wave to orgasm and suffer premature ejaculation in early adulthood. Then, without the protective covering, the head (glans) becomes dried, hardened, and calloused, causing loss of sensation, sexual dysfunction, and far too often, impotence. No wonder the USA has the highest sales of Viagra in the world.
Circumcision is not a nice thing to do to a baby or the man that baby becomes. It is time to begin telling the truth about this unnecessary amputation of a normal body part of a non-consenting minor. This is NOT a medical issue, it's a human rights issue. His body, his choice!

Marilyn

May 22, 2013 7:46 p.m.

Foreskin feels REALLY good. Seriously, it's the best part.
Any male whose right to decide about his own body was stolen by his parents has a legit beef. Most of the world is intact, and non-circumcising cultures tend to have far better health outcomes than the US, although the infant cutting rate in the US is close to 50/50 now.

Unsurprisingly, there is one person missing from this discussion - the foreskin's OWNER and what he might want to do with it, 20-odd years from now, something it really isn't any of your business to be thinking about. His body, his choice.
Rated on the checklist at http://www.circumstitions.com/write.html, this article has a Coefficient of Objectivity and Circumcision Knowledge of four. You have tried to be &quot;balanced&quot; but there is no &quot;balance&quot; between cutting part of a person's genitals off and just leaving them alone. This goes without saying when the baby is a girl. It's time that in this department, boys started to get some of the equality guaranteed them by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

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