I'm no Mastermind: I don't even know my specialist subject

Surely most of us who have watched the TV quiz show Mastermind over the years have had this conversation with their family or their mates down the pub?

I'm sure there are even some of you who might read this who have even been a competitor on the show?

If so, I'd love to know how you got on and how you chose your specialist subject (or subjects if you got through a few rounds).

The problem with me, you see, is that for a reasonably intelligent bloke, I don't retain specific information well enough to become an expert on one subject.

I get distracted easily so I'm less likely to sponge up that minutiae than anyone who might bravely apply to become a contestant on the BBC show.

The question has been breached at Naylor Acres on plenty of occasions.

Mrs Naylor is quick to answer when I ask what her specialist subject would be – the TV detective Columbo. She has every show on DVD and has watched all 77 episodes (I think that's what she says how many there are) on a number of occasions.

But even she says the problem with this is which questions will John Humphrys throw at you?

If it's along the lines of "In season three, episode four, Johnny Cash kills his wife using what murder weapon?" she'll know the answer straight away.

But if it's "Who was the co-producer in the one episode where Columbo had given up smoking and didn't stick any cigars in his gob?" then she freely admits to having no idea.

My wife says The Fall, one of my all-time favourite music groups, should be my specialist subject. And she's right but, if I chose them as my specialist subject, there are vast swathes of their near-40 years in the music industry that I'm shaky on.

As a teenager and into my 20s, I bought every record they made, reading every interview with the Manchester band's mercurial and cantankerous lead singer Mark E Smith.

Thus, if I was asked which record label the first single was released on I'd snap the answer back immediately.

But, like everything in life, priorities change, you start growing up and you don't seem to have as much time to sit down next to your record player listening to the new album and obsessively reading the lyrics and sleeve notes as I'm sure many did with their favourite acts over the years.

So ask me who the guitarist was on the, for example, 23rd album, then I'd be guessing.

I have to say I am in awe of those who have the sort of memories that are able to soak in and retain information on the reign of Richard III or the novels of the Bronte sisters, before appearing on TV (mainly) looking cool as cucumbers.

I'm also happy during the general knowledge section that follows, screaming at the TV set "It's the Baseball Ground, come on, everyone knows that" when some poor, football-hating doctor from Plymouth is asked the name of the ground Derby County played at before they moved to Pride Park.

But, back to the question at hand, what is your specialist subject? Your 90 seconds start ... now.