All my life I’ve been a goal-setting girl. I’ve experienced a perhaps unnatural enjoyment of the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day, mulling over my plans for the coming year and dreaming about how fabulous it will be.

This personality quirk served me well through my single years, and perhaps even in the first year of my marriage. But once I threw a kid into the mix I started learning that, while valuable and vital, goals are a thing a mother must hold in an open hand. Interpreted, this means that while I might have big plans, life happens and allowances will be made according to my priorities. For now, career goals must take a backseat to the needs of my family, most specifically a busy toddler.

So I’ve been wondering—how do goals fit into 2015 for me? I can’t just not make them. This is how I’m hardwired. Goal-setters and list-makers get more done, or so I’ve been told and willingly believe.

The past few weeks the idea has been crystallizing of focusing not on what I want to do, but on what I want to do better. Part of me feels that this may become my most successful year yet, because I’m seeking inner change, not just outward accomplishments.

And Mom, these coming statements might not be measurable, but I’m trusting that I’ll be smart enough to know when I’m slipping off track.

In 2015, I want to:

look for the good in my days rather than complain about the difficulties.

fully embrace motherhood rather than barely enduring the difficult moments.

do more things that energize me, and for that specific reason: eat well, rest fully, exercise, plan retreat days, listen to more music, go on more dates, read inspiring books, visit friends.

buy less stuff. Before each purchase ask: Will this item will improve my life or increase my joy?

ask for help rather than wallow when I feel helpless.

limit social media.

read and write more rather than settling for TV when I’m tired.

I may add more to this list, or tweak it, as the year progresses. But for now, this is enough. It’s a different kind of New Year’s list for me, but I’m ready for the change. I hope that when the year falls to a close I find that this list has helped change me.