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Nota Bene

Our modern relationships have nothing to do anymore with the one our grandparents, or even our parents went through. Years of fights for equality have completely changed the relationships between men and women. Sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worst.
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Exploring the highs and lows of relationships

Smooth as the L.A. weather

When you ask Casanovas/ ladykillers how they can score so much women, some of them are quite honest with you (they think you’re a little lamb and that you don’t want nothing wrong from them). The answers can sometimes be quite surprising, especially when you take a glance at the Casanova, and realized he’s far from this.

But rather looks like this.

And when you scratch the surface a little bit, you will uncover this.

Yes, a predator. Wikipedia gives an interesting definition of the predator: “predation describes a biological interaction where a predator organism feeds on another living organism or organisms known as prey“. In the case of our ladykillers, they don’t kill (well, it depends) their preys. Their dynamic is based on this principle: they choose carefully their prey distinguished by characteristics like ugliness, lack of confidence, innocence, in other words, a weak personality.

That’s how M., 40, proceeds with his victims. ” I only choose ugly girls. I know I’m not an Apollo, so I will have zero chance with the other ladies. But with these women, it’s such a piece of cake” he said. “Because they’re ugly, they feel nobody would ever love them. Then I come as their prince charming, telling them how beautiful they are to my eyes and making them feeling so special. They are grateful I picked them” he added. M. isn’t married, and hasn’t the intention to do so. He prefers collecting ugly girls.

P. ,35, also follows the same principle, but dares to pick up beautiful ladies. “I studied psychology when I was in college, and I noticed that tons of beautiful girls in my class had a problem of self-depreciation/ abandonment. Some of them, who were afraid to be left, just executed everything you ask them. One of them wrote my thesis. They would do anything just to please you” he said. “But you have to be careful with them, because you never know how they will react when you tell them it’s over” he added.

T., 41, told me he chooses only stupid/naive girls. T. is physically more appealing than the other two Casanovas mentioned above, to be honest. “Believe or not, but there’s a lot of women who believe what I say and just fell in the trap. I just told them I do incredible stuffs in my life, like going around the world as an Indiana Jones, being wealthy, giving time for NGO,… ” he explained. “And to end up the relationships, I’ve got plenty of good excuses, like being sent abroad for a long mission” he added.

Some of these Casanovas are real professional when it comes to fool women. So, if you’re one of their victims, you shouldn’t feel guilty of falling into their trap.

Do you have experienced a relationship like that? Or, do you have a radar for predators? It also applies for men…

I hope I have learnt from my past mistakes. There was this guy whom I really though was good but everything he did was totally screaming “I’m a bad boy!” But I too, was naive that time. Eventually, I told myself, “Wake up. He’s not the only one in this world. There are good ones. Just need some effort in finding them.”

Fortunately, these men aren’t my friends, Vanessa. I must say that what they told me is quite revolting, and I feel sorry for their victims. You’re right, trying to break your celibacy isn’t easy when you know there are morons like this in liberty.

When you recount how they “choose” women, it makes me think where does LOVE factor into this? Do men really love? BAH!
It reminds me of this jerk I know and how he has this specific checklist of girls to ask out (i.e. pretty, shorter than him, long legs, fair skin, etc…). He, on the other hand, looks like a slob and a half.
I used to get picked up by a lot of older men. I used to be naive and I didn’t get what they were after right away. I’m different now: careful. Maybe too careful.

Liz, of course, these men don’t really love their prey. Their aim is just to collect them. There’s no love involved. They just pretend to be in love. Maybe they love the thrill of collecting their prey.
A lot of bad experiences lead us to be on the defensive all the time. Unfortunately, you can ruin a relationship because you’re getting too cautious. There’s a balance to be find there.
Geez, I realized that each time I choose a picture, I don’t think enough of the personality lying behind the physic. It’s just that one of the guy I described in this post really looks like Steve Buscemi. Except that he isn’t smart and funny 😀