Wednesday, July 21, 2010

If my life were a movie ...

It would definitely be a comedy! I mean, I sometimes wonder how absurd things always seem to happen to me. It's like I'm on God's Candid Camera half the time; I can just see Him up there chuckling away about the happenings in my life.

There are times I wish I had a video, too, so I could look back and have a good laugh myself. Take, for instance, today. Being a nice mommy (or trying to be anyway), I took my toddler to meet some of our friends at a free movie. You'd think after a free movie and a half a box of Raisinets, the kid would be bowing at my feet. But, no ...

We are in the bathroom going potty ("we" meaning "me") and the little turd hauls off and kicks me in the shin pretty hard. (Yes, I just said "potty" and "turd" in the same sentence, then realized my negligence. Sometimes I crack myself up.) Then, he proceeds to say, "I kick you." Yeah, no crap, Sherlock.

I was quite miffed, to say the least, so he was reprimanded, he apologized, and on we went. In the meantime, another toddler mom who could hear my strife as I begged him not to open the bathroom door while I was in a varied state of dress decides to help me by holding the door shut. All the while, I am pushing on it to get out and she's holding me in. I end up saying "Excuse me" because I think it's a kid and am taken aback and quite embarrassed when I see it's a fellow mom. I hang my head and rush through hand-washing in hopes of leaving the scene ASAP and having her not remember me, as the same crowd seems to hit the free movies on a weekly basis.

In describing it to my fellow toddler warrior moms, I realized how absurd the whole thing sounded. Boy, that video would be really funny right about now. I probably turned about 10 different shades of red through the entire scene, which was so utterly ridiculous.