SHANE BLACK WRITING JESUS X CHRIST

Shane Black is rightfully known as the last great pulp action-comedy writer of the late 80s and early 90s. His credits include Lethal Weapon, Monster Squad, Last Action Hero, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (which he also directed), and my favorite, The Last Boy Scout. The latest news is that he’s writing and possibly directing the film adaptation of Doc Savage as a 1930s period piece. I don’t know what Doc Savage is, but I do know Wikipedia.

Doc Savage’s real name was Clark Savage, Jr.. He was a physician, surgeon, scientist, adventurer, inventor, explorer, researcher, and, as revealed in The Devil Genghis, a musician. A team of scientists assembled by his father deliberately trained his mind and body to near-superhuman abilities almost from birth, giving him great strength and endurance, a photographic memory, a mastery of the martial arts, and vast knowledge of the sciences. Doc is also a master of disguise and an excellent imitator of voices. “He rights wrongs and punishes evildoers.” Dent described the hero as a mix of Sherlock Holmes’ deductive abilities, Tarzan’s outstanding physical abilities, Craig Kennedy’s scientific education, and Abraham Lincoln’s goodness. Main writer Lester Dent described Doc Savage as manifesting “Christliness.”

So basically he’s like Neo, Wolverine, Jason Statham, Jesus Christ, and the sound-effects guy from Police Academy all rolled into one. I think there’s only one guy who can play this character and his name is Vin Diesel. He’s all of those things, plus he lives his life a quarter mile at a time.

Doc Savage is also Fred’s father. He suspects his wife was cheating when Ben was conceived.

By: Donkey Hodey

10.26.2009 @ 5:30 PM

Having Abraham Lincoln’s goodness is a lot better than having his sense of surroundings.

By: Fek'lhr

10.26.2009 @ 5:30 PM

Dude! The Last Boyscout! The most profoundly under-noticed movie of all time. I always thought I was weird for liking it, but now there is no doubt!

By: Vodka

10.26.2009 @ 5:33 PM

Fek, why would you think you were weird? That movie rules. You’re not weird for liking it, you’re weird for taking on the persona of a Klingon solely for this website.

By: Donkey Hodey

10.26.2009 @ 5:33 PM

Doc is also a master of disguise and an excellent imitator of voices.

He’s so good he can do an impression of Frank Caliendo doing John Madden, AND make it funny.

By: Vodka

10.26.2009 @ 5:34 PM

“Milo? Where you calling from, the bottom of the pool?”

Makes me laugh every single time.

By: RoboPanda

10.26.2009 @ 5:35 PM

A team of scientists assembled by his father deliberately trained his mind and body to near-superhuman abilities almost from birth

Stage father, or child porn ring?

By: Fek'lhr

10.26.2009 @ 5:42 PM

The scene where Willis does his puppet routine with Furry Tom has to be the bossest thing evar.

By: Oski

10.26.2009 @ 5:50 PM

Doc Savage was Dr. Quest, Jonny Quest, and Race Bannon rolled into one. I left out Hadji because orphan’s from Calcutta are only good for picking pockets and that’s not “Christlike.”

By: argentino

10.26.2009 @ 5:55 PM

So Hadji was the real slumdog millionaire?

By: spazmodic

10.26.2009 @ 5:58 PM

Doc Savage’s real name was Clark Savage, Jr.

And Clark Sr’s real name was Randy.

By: Oski

10.26.2009 @ 6:07 PM

According to the movie Unbreakable, Doc Savage’s arch enemy should be named Patient Civilized

By: Vince Mancini

10.26.2009 @ 6:22 PM

“What happened to you last night?”

“I dunno, I think I mighta fucked a squirrel to death.”

By: Shop 101

10.26.2009 @ 6:29 PM

He was a physician, surgeon, scientist, adventurer, inventor, explorer, researcher, and, as revealed in The Devil Genghis, a musician.

Laugh while you can, monkey boy, I’ll keep Buckaroo Banzai.

By: Creepyfatguy

10.26.2009 @ 6:52 PM

Be nice to see Doc Savage get his due. Everyone from Superman (his first name and the Fortress of Solitude), Batman (cool vehicles and gadgets) and Mr. Spock (cool logic and the nerve pinch) have ripped the character off. “Buckaroo Banzai” was pale, hipster imitation.
Doc Savage was the first — aw, screw it. No one cares.
Sniff.
Fuckers. Screw alla ya.

By: spazmodic

10.26.2009 @ 7:01 PM

…Superman (his first name…)

Doc’s real name was Kal-El Savage?

By: Charlie Br0nze

10.26.2009 @ 7:59 PM

No one else remember the silly Ron Ely incarnation of Doc Savage: Man of Bronze? Shane Black also played Hawkins in Predator, yet another kickass addition to his resume.

By: Shop 101

10.26.2009 @ 8:34 PM

Vivid, unhipster originality might be the future. But I wouldn’t bet on it.