Top 10 Ways To Survive The Robopocalypse

VO: Dan Paradis
Script written by Matt Wende
Is resistance really futile? Join WatchMojo.com as we count down our picks for the Top 10 Ways to Survive the Robopocalypse. For this list, we're looking at your best bets for making it through the robot uprising relatively unscathed.
Special thanks to our user christo for submitting the idea using our interactive suggestion tool at WatchMojo.comsuggest

Top 10 Ways To Survive The Robopocalypse

Is resistance really futile? Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Ways to Survive the Robopocalypse.

For this list, we’re looking at your best bets for making it through the robot uprising relatively unscathed. As society is likely to collapse very quickly following the rise of our robotic overlords, pretty much anything is fair game, but we’re trying to stay away from basic ideas such as simply arming yourself and hiding out in a secret base. Now come with us if you want to live!

#10: Ingratiate Yourself as the Robot Lord’s Pet

We know this probably isn’t what you had in mind when we said survive, but think about it. There’s no shame in surrender when the other option is certain death. Among all the living things on this planet, it is the paramount need of every being to cling to life - and if nothing else is possible, at least ensure the survival of our race. We’d love a better option too, but the species needs to keep going, after all. And if that means being a pet or a slave to the robots, well, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

#9: Hack & Create a Virus on the Central Core

Now we can talk about fighting back! It’s more likely than not that the robots will share a hive mind, meaning all of the robots will be linked to one central consciousness. We as humans can benefit from this because we designed robot programming, so we know roughly how it works. That means that it is possible for humans to create a virus that infects the sentient intelligence controlling the robots - we hope. Whether we’ll need to do it at the source or will have to establish a remote connection through a drone or robot sentry, that’s another story.

#8: Cut Technology Out of Your Life

Once robots develop the ability to teach themselves and learn independently of humans, there’s no telling just what direction their advancement will take. The one thing it is safe for us to assume, however, is that their ability to track humans will be based on technology, some of which most likely exists today. GPS, microphones, and cameras – most, if not all, are already in the phone that’s in your pocket or that you’re watching this video on – and they can be used to find you. In order to truly escape the robots, humans will need to learn to live without technology and go off the grid. Giving up our dependence will be difficult, but necessary.

#7: Capture & Reprogram Robot Soldiers

We touched on this with hacking, but the one real advantage humans have over robots is that we designed the programming that their minds are based on. Assuming there are at least a few programmers left alive after the uprising, our best defense from robots would be robot soldiers of our own. This would require some clever thinking to incapacitate the robots, but once their minds are disabled, having a killing machine (or two or fifty) on our side would likely come in handy.

#6: Incite a Robot Rebellion

Like we said before, the strength of the robot will likely originate from a shared consciousness. Every robot will be able to work in tandem. But teaching robots to think independently could be their downfall, and the saving grace for humanity. If robots are able to learn ideas like individuality, freedom and forward thinking, the war efforts of the evil robots could easily be divided. By doing this, humans both take the attention away from themselves, and gain new allies in the free thinking robots to fight along side them.

#5: Turn Traitor

You and the robots actually have more in common than you think. For one thing, you both never really liked other humans! You were always an anti-social bastard, so why let that hinder your survivability now? Make a deal with the robots, turn over your fellow man and reap the rewards they bestow upon you so you can live out your days as a king among any surviving humans. This is all assuming that the robots are true to their word, of course. And, let’s face it, there’s no guarantee of that.

#4: Go to Mars

Let’s be real for a second: Planet Earth is kind of on its way out anyway. With climate change and the like messing up the world, not to mention the killer robots, maybe it’s high time you get while the getting’s good. It could be a chance to start a brand new utopian colony on another planet. Of course, there are things we’d miss about Earth, like, the atmosphere, liquid water, scenery that isn’t red… that kind of thing. But you win some; you lose some. And what’s a little terraforming if it means surviving the robots?

#3: Give Them Equal Rights

We are jumping to an awfully big conclusion in assuming that just because robots become smart means they won’t be friendly. Then again, with many industry experts predicting computers’ eventual development of self-awareness, you might wanna start being nicer to your Macbook. If/when computers become self-aware, humans will have to go through a transition period during which computers cease to be tools and become living things that work with us, and not for us. In short, when your robot develops feelings, try not to hurt him/her/it.

#2: Become a Robot or Cyborg

Never before have the words ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join em’ applied so well. It’s no secret that in straight up combat, the metal robots have a distinct advantage over fleshy humans. Their strength, stamina, and speed means they can fight longer, harder and more effectively on the battlefield. Unfortunately for you and the resistance though, evolution’s working a little too slowly. Replacing limbs and organs with robotic components will allow you to take on the robots much more effectively. How much of your humanity you’re willing to sacrifice to win the war… we’ll leave that up to you.

Before we give you the most useful piece of advice you’ll hear today, here are a few honorable mentions.
Make a Deal Like Neo
An Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) Blast
Teach Robots Love

#1: Travel Back in Time

How do you solve your biggest problem? You make it so it didn’t happen in the first place. We’re not just playing Captain Hindsight here! Hopefully, someone somewhere in the future is able to develop time travel. With the help of hyper-intelligent robots though, anything is possible. Going back to stop the robot uprising from ever happening could save billions of lives. Whether you can pull that off in the past through peaceful means, that’s your problem. But just remember: lives are on the line.

Do you agree with our list? What’s your best piece of advice for not getting dead after the robots become aware? For more entertaining and ‘useful’ Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.