Park your bucks here!

An ode to all of Delhi’s incorrigible parking attendants: When you’re parking he’s missing, when you’re reversing he’s ditching… But, the minute you start to leave he magically appears, takes his Rs 10 and disappears.

I have lost my mind. I just spent half an hour trying to explain to a parking attendant why it was wrong on his part to ask me for money when he neither gave me a parking slip nor helped me park or un-park. Predictably enough, the negotiations ended unsuccessfully. As my scrambled brain tries to comprehend the argument he was trying to make, here’s an ode to all of Delhi’s incorrigible parking attendants: When you’re parking he’s missing, when you’re reversing he’s ditching… But, the minute you start to leave he magically appears, takes his Rs 10 and disappears.

He’ll give you a parking parchi only if he’s in the mood, and if you remind him it’s mandatory, he’ll tell you, you’re rude. Sometimes you may get a parking slip only when you’re leaving, at which point you’re expected to be grateful for the consideration you’re receiving.

You’ve been warned that he even reuses slips; that, in fact, is one of his devious moneymaking tricks. So, if he doesn’t tear the slip you return, be sure some extra cash he’s bound to earn.

Is your parking attendant Michael Schumacher at heart? Does his screeching and braking leave your car falling apart? Do you ever wonder why he has to pull the handbrake up so high… Especially when it moves only four inches at your best try.

Parking woes in Khan Market increase two fold. ‘Parking is free - don’t tip the attendants please’ you are told. However, if you don’t, they bang your window as you get out of the maze, or stare at you from afar with a wounded gaze. But, I have to say, a parking attendant is indispensable in his own way.

If I had to get my car in and out of madhouse parking lots every day, I’d either go bald or prematurely grey.