Well easy, you make it sound like he would leave the house and by proxy leave you alone at some point. He’s still there telling what to do, what to eat, etc. So pretty easy to tell since he’s now intertwined in EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.

My dog has been BBQ’d
There is a dead SS agent with dog bites on his neck
the bathroom mirror is in the livingroom with coke residue
my gunsafe has been replaced with a bong
The whiskey has been switched for vodka
my bible is gone but I have a new copy of Mao’s little red book

you think there’s a horse’s head in your bed but then realize it’s just a passed out Sarah Jessica Parker

all your knives and forks have been removed

it takes you 3 hours to drive 8 miles to get home after work

there was a natural disaster and I live in a swing state

that unmistakable smell of freshly printed money lingers in the air

that unmistakable smell of sulfur lingers in the air (thanks Hugo Chavez)

my neighbors climbed over my fence and helped themselves to my pool, hot tub, and fridge and the cops won’t do anything about it except tell me that complaining is a hate crime and it’s my responsibility to make sure nobody drowns or runs out of drinks.

an impromptu putting green has been dug in my back yard

I catch Chris Mathews spanking it in my living room

…in all seriousness, Obama would NEVER be in my house. In my entry, there’s an 11×14 framed autographed picture of Ronald Reagan. It HAS stopped liberals from entering my house before. Also my dog is a 70 pound German Shepherd and she’s handled worse than anything Obama could throw at her…

Every bit of personal text has been edited. Like, your kid’s Little League trophy now reads “BOBBY JONES, Batting Title Champ” and underneath, “Barack Obama also provided initiatives to help kids get more exercise and live a healthier lifestyle.” Your plaque that said “JOHN JONES, Employee of the Month, August 2011″ says on the bottom, “In a similar way, Barack Obama created or saved 78 squintillion jobs and has been America’s Employee of the Month since January 2009.”

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