Melania Trump and Donald Trump: Distant! Sexless! Sad!

Donald Trump may want to work on the figurative wall between himself and his wife, if a new Us Weekly report is to be believed.

Following previous claims that Melania Trump is miserable as First Lady, sources now tell the tabloid that this is only partially true.

In reality, the magazine writes, Melania Trump is REALLY miserable.

In a bombshell exclusive, an insider first talks to the magazine about a March 17 incident in which the First Family was together on the White House lawn.

Once the obligatory photo opportunity was complete and Trumps (11-year-old son Barron included) were finished smiling for the press, husband, wife and child boarded Marine One for a trip to Palm Beach, Florida.

And the instant they were on board, "Melania dropped the act," according to the publication.

She also Donald’s hand.

"Melania does not keep hidden from everyone around her how miserable she is," the report states.

The First Lady and the Commander-in-Chief, who are 24 years apart in age, have been living apart ever since the latter was actually elected President in November.

But does this mean Melanie will moving into the same bed as her husband? Not necessarily.

“They have separate bedrooms,” an insider says of the Trumps, referring to both Trump Tower and the White House and adding:

“They never spend the night together - ever.”

Another source disagrees with this account, alleging that Melania and Donald do, in fact, sleep in same room ... but they keep separate beds.

“It’s very ‘royal’ of them!" this insider says.

Or very I Love Lucy of them. Either way.

Melania Trump, of course, gave a speech at the Republican National Convention (which she partly stole from Michelle Obama) and said her platform as First Lady would be to campaign against online bullying.

Insert whatever joke you can think of here about how her powerful husband is the biggest online bully who has ever used the Internet.

“Melania wants as little to do with Donald as possible,” adds a family source. “She is not interested in Donald, the presidency or anything involving him.”

Since Donald Trump's inauguration in January, Melania has kept a low profile.

She has done very few public event.

Last month, she escorted Akie Abe, the Japanese prime minister’s wife, around Palm Beach, but “only because she was going to be at Mar-a-Lago already,” according to the family source insider, who emphasized:

“She refused to do it in Washington.”

In response to this scathing story, a rep for Melania denies nearly ever claim.

"It’s unfortunate that you are going to feature unnamed 'sources' that have provided fictional accounts," the rep simply says in reply.

In other words: This is supposedly, yes, fake news.

Which is may very well be, when you consider the source.

But stop and ask yourself this:

Based on what you know of Melania Trump and Donald Trump, based on the interactions you've seen between them, does any of this come across as surprising?