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My New Alarm Clock

After a lot of stress but surprisingly little hassle, I’ve finally found a piso (apartment) in Alcorcón, It’s small, homey, and right off the main street.

Main Street! Notice all the old people sitting on the bench and judging the passers-by. This is an essential pastime for the Spanish elderly.

The one problem is that my bedroom faces the inside of the apartment complex, so it only has a small window and not much natural light. This might be a sad but bearable sacrifice for some people, but for my narco body, light is essential to waking up. The first few days in the piso, I slept for hours. And hours. And hours. When I did wake up, it was to near total darkness, and my body was sore and heavy as if I had been running instead of sleeping — residual sleep paralysis, maybe.

I do not blame narcolepsy for this trouble. I blame the lack of light.

So I bought myself the brightest, bluest, most intense lightbulb that Ikea had to offer and put it inside a trendy Swedish lamp. I attached the lamp to a timer, and set the timer so that the lamp turns on automatically ten minutes before my alarm goes off in the morning.

This has been the best thing ever for waking me up at a reasonable time. It also gives me a wonderful opportunity to try out all the Spanish swear words I’ve been learning, so it’s an educational tool as well.

Logically, I love my lamp because it improves my quality of life. Emotionally, I hate it.