The Word “Candy” is Basically Owned by Candy Crush Now

Candy Crush Saga—which should really be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for providing the world’s population with a way to occupy itself while waiting for friends to show up at restaurants—made some waves yesterday when its maker, the company King, announced it had trademarked the word “candy.” Yes, this is an effort on King’s part to protect the absurdly popular game—the top-downloaded free app and highest-revenue grossing app in 2013—from any “intellectual property infringements.”

They’ve successfully received a trademark from the European Union related to the use of the word “candy” for computer games, but also—much less intuitively—in the realms of clothing and footwear. Presumably the latter part of this ruling is the result of some eight-year-old Norwegian who slid his finger across a graphic tee with a gumdrop drawn on it last year, and then burst into tears. (“Why isn’t any music playing, papa? Where’s the pink bunny? . . . And when did I learn English?!”)

Despite its intimidating name and apparently aggressive tactics, King says it is willing to be reasonable when it comes to usage. “We don't enforce against all uses of ‘candy’—some are legitimate and of course, we would not ask app developers who use the term legitimately to stop doing so,” a King spokesman told the Huffington Post.

Meanwhile, the company is still waiting for its U.S. trademark application to be approved. So, Mandy Moore, wherever you are, now is the time to move fast on that “(. . . Missin’ You Like) Candy: Pop Star Wars” app we’ve been hoping that you’ll make. Hell, at this rate, we wouldn't be surprised if by 2015, Hershey and Mars are forced to start describing their offerings as “sugary treats.”