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"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Friday, September 30, 2011

Yeah, I'm turning into one of those obnoxious people who start reminding you how many days there are until Christmas months in advance. Actually, I'm giving myself a kick in the ass because I am resolved to get Christmas cards addressed and mailed out this year. I use to be so good about mailing cards out and I loved, loved getting cards in the mail from all over the world. I really loved covering a wall or a door in those cards. But kids happened and I became a slackard and it has been a few years since I've managed to send out the cards I wanted to send. This year is going to be different. This year, thanks to Tiny Prints, I'm actually going to send cards out again.

So, I spent today browsing through the fabulous selection of customizable Christmas cards at Tiny Prints. There are so many beautiful cards. I lost myself for hours looking at the cards and playing with the personalization features. These were two of my favorite cards...

But, in the end, I went for fun and funky instead of sweet and beautiful. I selected a card called Big Photo and started playing. I was trying to recreate a card I had years and years ago. This is what I've picked...

I've heard nothing but good things about Tiny Prints and their products. I've also been super impressed with how easy it was to modify a design to your liking.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Congrats to Matt who won with his comment (#9) I follow you on Twitter @poorisaquality2

I have the coolest thing to tell you about. Y'all know that Lucasfilm Ltd. and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment just released Star Wars the Complete Saga on a 9 disc Blu-ray collection, right? Well, they did and, if y'all are good little geeks, you've probably already rushed out to buy your own copy of the Star Wars the Complete Saga collection for yourselves.

What you probably don't know is that General Mills Big G cereal has produced 3 collectable cereal boxes with truly fab Star Wars good vs. evil pics on the back of these boxes. If you put the pics on the boxes side by side, you get a panoramic picture. I think I might have to cut them out and mount them on a piece of mounting board...might make a good present for my own little Star Wars freak. These collectible boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios®, Cinnamon Toast Crunch®, and Lucky Charms® are available exclusively at your local Wal-Mart.

Now, the lovely people at MyBlogSpark and General Mills arranged for me to get these three yummy boxes of cereal (with the FAB Star Wars pictures on them) and a $25 Wal-Mart gift card. Let me tell you, I'm not sure what was a bigger hit in my house...the HUGE boxes of yummy cereal or the Star Wars pictures on the boxes. Best of all, I get to pass on the same prize pack to y'all. That's right...one lucky reader of Dragondreamer's Lair is going to get the three collectible boxes and a $25 Wal-Mart gift card too.Here's how you can enter...

Leave a comment telling me your favorite character or moment from all of Star Wars. (REQUIRED)

Follow me on Twitter. Leave a comment telling me you did this and your twitter name. (2 entries)

Follow General Mills on Twitter. Leave a comment telling me you did this and your twitter name. (2 entries)

Follow Wal-Mart on Twitter. Leave a comment telling me you did this and your twitter name. (2 entries)

Follow me through Google Friends Connect and leave a comment telling me you did it (and your GFC name if different). (2 entries)

Tweet the following: Win 3 Star Wars themed boxes of cereal & a $25 @Walmart gift card from @GeneralMills, @dragondream, #MyBlogSpark http://bit.ly/oP7WCX You may tweet once a day for (1 entry). Come back and comment with a link to your tweet.

The giveaway starts RIGHT NOW and ends at 11:59 pm on 10/7/11. Remember, 1 comment for each entry and make sure you leave an email address so I can contact you if you are the winner. Spread the word and good luck.

Disclosure: The cereal, gift card, information, and giveaway have been provided by General Mills through MyBlogSpark.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Welcome to the second edition of What The Fuck Wednesday. When I started this last week, I was a little worried I wouldn't be able to find something every week. I vastly underestimated just how screwed up people are. I could post almost everyday and not run out of material. Today's What The Fuck moment comes to you courtesy of the teen pop sensation (or eeeevil minion, depending on who you talk to), Justin Bieber.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

If you were stuck on a desert island and could only have five books, what would they be? The Story of Beautiful Girl by Rachel Simon, one of the Harry Potter books, Bitten by Kelley Armstrong, The Lost Quilter by Jennifer Chiaverini, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

And: what's the best place you've ever visited? I think it's a toss up between Venice and the big island of Hawaii. I'd love to go back and see Venice with adult eyes but, the sheer natural beauty of the big island of Hawaii is hard to beat.

If Vic were in the doghouse for something, and he brought you flowers as a way of trying to get back into your good graces, what kind of flowers would he bring you? And would they actually be flowers you like? Honestly, I don't hold a grudge. If Vic says I'm sorry, that's all it takes to get out of the doghouse. However, I'm a sucker for sweet smelling roses.

And along the same vein, what has been the most romantic gesture that Vic has ever made? Once, in passing, I mentioned how much I would like to have a family bible. That year, he searched one out and found me the most gorgeous family bible and it has space to enter everyone's info.

How did you get your name? Is there a story? My mom and her sister both had the first and middle initials K. A. My parents picked the Scandinavian spelling of Kristin (in instead of en) because my mom's heritage is Scandinavian and I share my aunt's middle name.

How would you describe your fun times with each child? With Marty - cooking together or just hanging out and shooting the shit; With Joey - I love camping with him or doing something artistic; With Gabe - playing a game or reading to/with him

Who is that person in world history you would like to meet? Margaret Thatcher - she was such a smart, strong, powerful woman

Is there someone in your family you totally dislike and why? (Family - cousins, uncles, aunts or such) Yes there is. The person is not a blood relative and they are a two-faced, hypocritical bitch/bastard who has accused me of being willing to work my husband into an early grave.

Between Dalai Lama and Mahatma Gandhi who would you be more excited to meet? probably the Dalai Lama

When did you decide that you didn't give a shit any more and started dying your hair fun colours? Do you get shit because of it? When I turned 40, I decided I needed to celebrate that fabulous milestone and decided to dye my hair purple. There are a few family members who are a bit bemused at the whole thing but, over all, I receive more compliments on my hair/appearance when it's dyed funky, fun colors than when it's normal.

Well, I had fun. Hope you enjoyed the weird random tidbits I shared. We'll have to do it again soon.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Welcome to the return of Perfect Moment Monday sponsored by Lori over at Write Mind Open Heart. Perfect Moment Monday was on hiatus over the summer and I am so glad it is back. Lori says that "Perfect Moment Monday is more about noticing a perfect moment than about creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between."

My house is crammed to the gills. Our 1700 sq ft house is currently sheltering 9 people. There hasn't been a major fight between the kids. As a general rule, kids are playing nicely and cooperating well. The laundry has been kept up to date. The dishes are done. And, my house is getting cleaner instead of dirtier. We've thrown away 2 large garbage bags of stuff and donated 6 large garbage bags of stuff to charity. But, most perfectly, I am getting to spend tons of time with one of my sisters by choice, the wonderful, fabulous Rys of Confessions of a Clutter Queen.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

In between our bouts of sniffing and sneezing and coughing and hacking, Rys and I have been kicking butt in the house cleaning department. One of the rooms we tackled was the den/playroom. There were a lot of toys that weren't being played with anymore and a bunch or broken ones mixed in too. We still have a bunch to do in the den but we have already donated 3 garbage bags of toys and threw away one other bag. I ran across a few things that brought back memories and made me wonder all at the same time.

See, back in August of 2001, Vic blew his left knee out. It was destroyed and required multiple surgeries to even make it functional. These multiple surgeries left a scar about 8 inches long on Vic's knee. Around this same time, Marty discovered Power Rangers and all the figurines and toys that went with them. Marty went through a stage where his Power Rangers were turning into casualties of war and the funny thing is that they all had the same injury.

See, you have 3 Power Rangers missing their left legs and on spare left leg missing a Power Ranger. Do you sense a theme here? Vic destroys his left knee and, shortly thereafter, Marty starts destroying the left legs of Power Rangers. All in all, it makes me seriously wonder about my oldest son's sanity and outlook on life.

Have you ever had things/toys get broken or destroyed in a weird manner?

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Hey y'all, I've got something really cool to offer you. Amsterdam Printing is giving me the opportunity to offer you 50 of their most popular promotional pens, the Inspire pen, worth almost $150. What is so incredibly cool about these pens is that you can personalize them with not one, not two, not even three, but with five lines of text. The Inspire Pens are available in 8 different barrel colors and two ink colors. These pens would be a fabulous way to promote your company, your non-profit, your website, or even for a birthday party.

The giveaway starts right now and ends at 11:59 pm on October 1st and is open to US residents only. The winner will be notified via email and announced on my blog on Oct. 2nd. Here's how you enter...

Leave a comment telling me what you want to promote on your pens. (REQUIRED)

Follow me on Twitter. Leave a comment telling me you did this and your twitter name. (2 entries)

Follow Amsterdam Printing on Twitter. Leave a comment telling me you did this and your twitter name. (2 entries)

Follow me through Google Friends Connect and leave a comment telling me you did it (and your GFC name if different). (2 entries)

Tweet the following: Win 50 personalized Inspire pens from @AmsterdamPrint and @dragondream valued at almost $150 http://bit.ly/oRr2wy #giveaway ends 10/1/11 You may tweet once a day for (1 entry). Come back and comment with a link to your tweet.

Remember, 1 comment for each entry and make sure you leave an email address so I can contact you if you are the winner. Spread the word and good luck.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I am sick. I have my son's cold and it is about 100 times worse in me than it was in him. It SUCKS. My body hurts. My sinuses ache. It's an effort to do anything. Being sick has reduced my care factor to zero...no, less than zero. Marty was taking a shower and twice it sounded like he slipped and hit the sliding door. Rys looked at me and said, "What's he doing?" My response was a heartfelt "I don't know and, as long as he doesn't come crashing through the door, I don't care." Rys responded, "So what you're saying is you don't care what happens as long as you don't have to drive him to the ER." "Pretty much," I said..."and, if he goes to the ER, he better get admitted because I don't want to pay that damned $250 copay." Care factor = zero. She LAUGHED at me...said I was funny when I was sick.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Have you ever had a moment when you see something that makes you and everyone around you say "What The Fuck?" Rys and I had one of those moments today. We had stopped by the kids' school to drop something off and, as we turned the van to leave the parking lot, we saw something and looked at each other and said "What the fuck?" Literally, I said "What the fuck?" and then we followed what we saw until we could get a picture.

What was it we saw? It was a car...

a car with what appeared to be Yves St. Laurent wall paper or wrapping paper wrapped around it's lower half

see, it really is the Yves St. Laurent symbol

and, to really drive home the what the fuck moment, the car had humongous chrome rims. My God, it was even blue on blue...all that cheap decoration and no visual punch to be had.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Last month during ICLW, I opened the floor to questions. Sadly, only one person took me up on the offer. Happily though, it was the brilliant and wonderful Mrs. Gamgee from Hobbit-ish Thoughts and Ramblings who asked the questions. Strap yourselves in, the wild ride begins now...

1 - Were your boys named after people in your family or did you choose their names for other reasons? a) My oldest was named after my husband and my grandpa...Victor Martin. We actually picked his middle name first (my grandpa's name). My grandpa was a man beyond compare and I felt a need to include his name in my son's name. My husband and I couldn't agree on a first name for the longest while. Names I liked, he didn't and vice versa. We finally decided to give him my husband's first name. Since he has the same initials as his dad, we call him by his middle name.
b) My second son was named after my father (his middle name) and my father-in-law...Joseph Sigifredo.
c) My youngest son is Gabriel Michael. Those names belong to no one in my immediate family. I just knew, in my heart, my soul, that those were the names that belonged to him. When I told my husband, he initially expressed reservation. I looked at him and said "I really believe those names came from God and I'm not going to argue. If you want to, you take it up with the man upstairs."2 - What do you consider to be your geekiest guilty pleasure? Ummmm, I wear my geekdom proudly so it's hard to think of a geeky guilty pleasure. I guess the closest I get to a geeky guilty pleasure is my deep and undying love of sci-fi television. I've probably seen close to 90% of all the Star Trek series (the original, Next Gen, Deep Space 9, Voyager, and Enterprise). I've seen and own every single Babylon 5 episode. I watched both versions of Battlestar Galactica. I adore Warehouse 13 and Eureka. I'm going to end this list before I start waxing poetic about something.3 - What is your least favourite food that you end up cooking anyway because your family likes it? Hmmm, I have to admit, it's my tastes that tend to be catered to. For example, we didn't buy peas until very recently. When I was little, I hated peas with a passion. I was known to line them up on the little ledge under the table to avoid eating them. Since I hated them, my hubby didn't buy or cook them. I recently rediscovered peas and found out that frozen peas were pretty damned good.4 - Have your kids ever come across your 'toys'? How did/would you handle the situation? Luckily, my kids have yet to discover my toy drawer. I imagine that once I got past the initial embarassment, I would tell the older ones that the toys were adult toys and leave it at that. Once they were out of the room, I would promptly find a new hiding place. If it was Gabe, I'd give him a fluff answer and immediately find a new hiding place.5 - If you ever popped over for a drink, should I have beer, wine, or coolers in the fridge for you?I would never turn down a Guinness Stout or a Sam Adams. I also love a good bottle of almost dry white wine.

So, once again I make the offer...ASK ME ANYTHING...personal, trivia, literally anything.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Earlier today Rys and I were in the kitchen doing dishes and wiping counters. Rys's youngest daughter, T, and Gabe were coming in from outside and we heard Gabe laughing and saying, "Don't tell them." Of course, I had to ask.Gabe started giggling and said, "T ask me if I wanted to be her boyfriend and I said yes." So, he's got a girlllllfriend, he's got a girlllllfriend! They are so stinkin' cute together.

Friday, September 16, 2011

On Gabe's 4th full day of kindergarten, he got sent to the vice-principal's office. Gabe was still feeling a bit under the weather because he was recovering from a cold and, when he feels icky, he's short tempered. He decided to treat the kids at school like he treats his brothers when he's out of sorts. He was pushing, hitting, poking with pencils, and wasn't listening to the teacher.

I also found out he was righteously indignant at the thought of having to take an afternoon rest (even though he desperately needed it). I convinced him he could play video games on an imaginary screen in his head. Since then, it's all been good.

Gabe's teacher said this week has been a great week...both with behavior and completing work. Thank goodness he learned.

Gabe and Rys's youngest daughter have been as thick as thieves. On Monday, after coming in from outside, Gabe brushed T's hair back off, stood on his tippy toes, and kissed her cheek.

A few hours later, T informed me that she thought she and Gabe might get married someday.

I just got to have my very own DamnYouAutoCorrect moments. I'm using Rys's iPad and auto correct just tried to change the URL of my blog from http://thefertileinfertile.blogspot.com/ to http://the ergo do fertile.bloodspot.com.

Beyonce (the celebrity, not the big metal chicken) - with all the rumors of pregnancy for her over the years, does anyone else wonder if she had trouble getting pregnant?

Head on over to Danifred's and check out the rest of the leftovers. Y'all have anything you wantt o share with us?

The Artist formerly known as Kymberli is hosting a Sock It To Me exchange at The Smartness for the first time in almost a year and a half. Kym was inspired to create the SITM exchange in an effort to have a tangible reminder of all the love and support we've received from the online/blogging community. This year Kym said

It has been roughly a year and a half since the last SITM Exchange. Reflect on the past 18 or so months – how has support from others, either in the blogosphere or otherwise, helped you?

This past year and a half has been a full one. With 3 boys, there has always been something going on. And, with our wonderfully active ALI community, there has been tons of events to celebrate and many to mourn. This wonderful online community that saw me through my trials and tribulations with infertility has now become my daily cheerleader. Whenever I have a generally rough day, there never fails to be someone there to give me a virtual hug and pick me up. People also come by and laugh at laugh with me about the crazy antics of my family. I have also found tons of support for many of my planned surprises for online friends. I'm still in awe of the number of people who helped me surprise St. Elsewhere with a quilt in memory of her beautiful daughter. Thank you for everything y'all.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

I know there have been many times I've raved to you about EdenFantasys. They have a truly amazing selection of adult toys and are super, super discreet with their packaging and shipping. I also adore them because they are incredibly savvy when it comes to social media and love to work with bloggers.

I'm sure y'all also remember when I wrote about the EdenFantasys BlogHer '11 party and ran a giveaway with it. Well, that giveaway led me to develop a whole new appreciation for the discretion and careful packaging that EdenFantasys uses.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Rys and I did all the shopping we needed to do to get the house set up to handle all 9 of us. We dropped the kids off at 9 am and, with a short break for lunch and picking up Marty, we didn't get done until 3 pm.

School pickup was at 3:45

I realized that although Joey did not have Scouts on Tuesday (both den leaders out of town) I still had to go. I volunteered to teach a first aid class before I knew Joey had the night off.

I took Rys's son to scouts with me and he had a great time.

On the way back, he was telling me how much he loved North Carolina and he wished they could stay here (pssssttt, I hope y'all get to stay here too).

A short while later, I had Joey and Rys's son and oldest daughter taking the recycling bins and garbage can down to the curb for pickup. Rys's son could be heard loudly moaning, "I don't know how Marty and Joey have survived this. This is horrible." I was seriously amused.

We got the mattress on the top bunk and all kids occupied real beds on Tuesday night.

We were so tired that we were both in bed by 11 pm. I am NEVER in bed by 11 pm.

Today, we got a good portion of Rys's and her kids' clothes put away, totally and completely cleaned the table, and made a big dent in the kitchen cleaning.

I made yummy cheesecake (doctored up some premade filling) with an oreo crumb crust (that I made from scratch).

I felt the burning need to post but have no power to string together sentences coherently. Hence, the bullets.

Now, I'm fighting the yawns

We have jokingly dubbed ourselves the Sister Wives of Cary. It amuses us both.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

My little house is filled to the brim tonight. My beautiful friend Rys of Confessions of a Clutter Queen and her three kids are here for an indefinite amount of time. The huge amount of rain dumped on the northeast by Tropical Storm Lee flooded the entire first floor of their house. The basement filled and the water kept rising. It didn't stop until there was about 6 inches of standing water covering their first floor. Sadly, that wasn't the worst of the damage. Their well pump was toasted which means their well is fouled. The flood waters also have cracked and shifted and totally fucked up their foundation. Odds are very good that FEMA will declare the house completely uninhabitable.

So, since the house is definitely not safe for kids, Rys and her kids are here. We're going to get the kids enrolled in school tomorrow and then Rys and I will tackle the house. If we can beat it into submission, we can mange this number of people here. Rys's husband is still at home managing things until FEMA decides what's what.

It should be one hell of a ride. It's a good thing I love my sister-by-choice.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I am deeply, deeply disturbed. My kids have discovered two shows on the Cartoon Network that are going to make it very hard for me to argue that drugs don't pay. My youngest two have turned into major fans of The Regular Show and The Amazing World of Gumball.

In The Regular Show, the main characters are a 6 ft tall, bipedal, talking bluejay, Mordecai, and 2 ft tall, bipedal, talking raccoon, Rigby. The cast is round out with a ridiculously muscle bound MuscleMan; a yeti-like creature; a bipedal, talking Gumball machine (yes, in this show, not in The Amazing World of Gumball), and High-5 Ghost.

The two main characters are total slackers whose one aim in life is to entertain themselves by any means necessary.

And, then there's The Amazing World of Gumball (please note there are no gumballs or gumball machines in this cartoon). This cartoon focuses on Gumball Watterson (a young cat) whose mom is a cat, dad is a rabbit, sister is a rabbit, and brother/best friend is the former family pet who grew legs and became a member of the family. The cast is rounded out by the cloudlike school counselor, the school heartthrob who happens to be a balloon, Carmen the cactus who leads the girls, a female peanut with antlers and empty eye holes, the t-rex school bully, an eight bit spider, and too many other odd characters to be mentioned.

The show follows 12 yr old gumball through his series of misadventures.

Honestly, I don't see any way an adult could have come up with these shows without doing seriously heavy drugs, probably hallucinogenics. And, these adults are making a living producing these cartoons. It makes it hard to argue that drugs (at least hallucinogenics) don't pat.

What kids show has you firmly convinced the creators must be on drugs?

Thursday, September 08, 2011

I was struggling. I wanted to write about 9/11. It impacted me, my family, my friends, my nation, but the words weren't coming. Then, I read the 9/11 post written by Jessica over at Too Many Fish To Fry and that led me to the amazing essay, For Thou Art With Us, by Sarah Bunting and I found my words.

I remember that beautiful fall day. My husband was home trying to recover from a knee injury. Marty was watching something on the Disney channel. Joey was crawling around and desperately trying to take his first steps.

I remember the bright blue sky and the serenity of the day...no schedule to live on, no preschool to go to, just a lazy family day.

I remember the phone ringing and my friend Pam's voice on the other end. I could tell from her first greeting that something was wrong.

I remember looking at Vic and saying "Turn on the news. Hurry. A plane hit the World Trade Center and they don't know if it was an accident or not." How do you explain to a 4 yr old the urgency behind a channel change? How do you tell him you simply can't wait until the end of his show?

I remember watching the unfolding chaos and praying it was all a tragic accident.

I remember watching as the second plane plowed into the second tower, transfixed by the sheer horror of the situation, and I remember the sinking feeling, the certainty that this wasn't a tragic accident.

I remember sitting next to Vic so desperately and selfishly glad he wasn't one of the hundreds of firefighters we were watching run into those two blazing buildings.

I remember feeling overwhelming pride in the men and women of the FDNY and NYPD, people I felt a kinship to through my husbands time as a cop and a firefighter.

As the fires raged, I remember the pride being suppressed by the growing certainty that most of those brave men and women wouldn't be going home to their families that day or ever.

I remember the overwhelming horror I felt as the buildings pancaked down on themselves and I remember desperately trying not to let Marty see me crying. I failed miserably at that.

I remember hearing about the plane hitting the Pentagon (oh dear God let Jane be safe) and Flight 93going down and praying out loud, "Oh dear God, let this be the end of it."

More than anything I remember the sense of surrealism, the feeling that if I just blink or shake my head or wake up, I would find it was all a terrible nightmare.

We spent a good part of the day glued to the TV, desperately trying to make sense of what had happened. It felt like the world was standing still and it seemed impossible that anything approaching normal life could be going on anywhere that day.

But, did the world stand still that day? Was the world irrevocably changed? Well, yes and no. The sad but honest truth is many other countries have suffered through terrorist attacks. We weren't unique in that respect. What made this attack a bit different was that the US had a perceived aura of invincibility. We were the country that came charging to the rescue but this time, we needed the rescuing. The biggest change 9/11 perpetuated was stripping the innocence and naivety away from Americans' eyes. Many people took the horror of 9/11 as inspiration and reminder of the need to serve our community, help our fellow man, and do good. But, for an equal number, having that veil stripped away made them scared and overly cautious. I heard people say after 9/11, "I just couldn't bring a baby into a world where things like this happen." Well guess what? Things like this have been happening the world over for a long, long time. If we stop living boldly, if we stop laughing loudly, if we stop loving without reservation, if we stop taking chances and having adventures,we let the terrorists, the bastards who perpetuated 9/11, win. I for one refuse to let that happen. It would be a disservice to the memories of all the men and women lost that day.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Once upon a time, a major dipshit screwed over my friend. Correction, twice upon a time, a major dipshit screwed my friend over twice...more twenty years apart. A little over 20 yrs ago, my dear friend Kristi was dating this guy who went by the name Corey. Now Kristi is smart, funny, beautiful, and will bend over backward to help her friends. In other words, she is fabulous. And, Kristi was deeply in love with this guy Corey. She thought he could be the one. She thought he was the one until the day she found out he was a scum sucking bottom feeder who would fuck just about anything that offered it up to him. Like most women in her early twenties, Kristi didn't deal well with being fucked over. So, as she left, she took it out on something near and dear to his heart...his motorcycle...fed it a whole engine full of sugar. Sadly, despite striking out at him, his betrayal affected her for many years to come.

Fast forward to earlier this year...Kristi was having a major problems with her car. Her normal go to car guy wasn't available so she posted a query to her friends on facebook asking about it. Now, Corey had shown up a few months before on facebook and, when she asked about her car issues, he told her to contact him with the details of the car problems. Well, one thing lead to another and Corey started calling and "sniffing" around. His life was still entwined with another woman and Kristi told him to stay away until his life became uncomplicated.

Turns out it wasn't too long until Corey supposedly "uncomplicated" his life and was free to pursue Kristi. And, pursue her he did. He called. He came around. He talked the talk. He said the reason he cheated on her years ago was that with everyone else he could see the end and with her he couldn't and it scared him to death. He actually owned up and apologized for what he did to her. That boy kept talking the talk and appeared to be walking the walk which would prove he was a grown up, a real man. Kristi held back for a while. She was trying to be smart and protect herself but the rat bastard finally broke through her defenses. He convinced her he had really learned from his past mistakes. He even called her when his ex contacted him...told her he wanted complete transparency...said he wanted nothing hidden. And, then the bastard did it again. Kristi was confronted with irrefutable proof that the scum sucking bottom feeder was playing around in one too many sandboxes.

Now, Kristi told me that she isn't going to lower herself and strike back at him. But, she forgot (bwahahahahaha) to tell me not to get him back. She is a fabulous woman and I want to make him sorry for the way he treated her. I have all his contact info and he doesn't know me from adam. I thought I might start out with a text saying "OMG honey, I'm sooooooo excited. The test was POSITIVE." Then, I thought I'd wait a day or two and send a message saying "Oh shit. Oh fuck. My life is over. It was positive." He's been doing enough scummy things that I'm sure his mind will go to the worst possible scenario. I foresee mailing lists and postings on sites like Don't Date Him. The beauty of this is a can stir up a shit storm without doing anything illegal. This bastard will learn not to fuck with women (especially women that are my friends) that way...or, he won't and I'll just have fun letting my inner bitch out to play. Either way it's a win/win situation.

Monday, September 05, 2011

I have come to the inescapable conclusion that my van aka the Manatee is a total hussy. Now, I'm sure most of you simply can't conceive of a van being a hussy but there honestly isn't any other explanation.

We love her. We clean her. We take care of her and feed her lots of gas and top off her oil. Yet lately, that just doesn't seem to be enough. First, we sent her to the mechanic to replace the messed up tension pulley in the engine. Everything seems ok for a little while. The Manatee was running smoothly. Then, the compressor in the air conditioner seizes up and breaks the belt. Ms. Manatee got herself bundle back off to the mechanic. After a two day stay during which the Manatee was cossetted and pampered, she came home with her air conditioning working well enough to freeze you out of the van and, yes, she was still running smoothly...until late yesterday.

Yesterday, the boys and I joined my parents for a day trip to Wet 'n Wild Emerald Point Water Park. Before we left, I had my dad check the oil in my van...just to be on the safe side. The trip there was uneventful and, once we got there, lots of wet, happy, silly fun was had by all. By the time we packed up and headed home, the boys were nicely browned and more than a little tired. I, on the other hand, was a shade scarily similar to the color of the Cheap Sally Dance Party tote bag I was carrying...

I think the Manatee was a bit put out about having to sit and wait in a dirt and gravel parking lot all day because she pitched a fit on the way home. We were driving along and I saw something in the road a little bit in front of us. It didn't look that big but just big enough to make me think "What the hell is that?" There was literally no time and space to avoid going over it since it didn't appear until the car just in front of us passed by it. So, after thinking "What the hell is that?", I quickly followed it up with "What the hell was that noise?" as something thumped near/under my van. I wasn't too concerned because it sounded like a smallish rock or stick bouncing off the frame. Shortly after that, Manatee started pitching her little fit. Every time I stepped on the brakes, my oil light and alarm went off. We weren't that far from home so I pressed on but the frequency of the warning light and alarm going off was getting worse and worse. I honestly figured it was a fluke and Manatee was just bitching because she was still running smoothly. When we got home and were unloading the van, I noticed a greasy film on the back window...still was just chalking it up to road grime. After I got the kids settled down for the night, I headed back out to give Manatee her yearly bling (registration sticker). When I walked around to the back of the van I noticed that greasy film covered the bumper, the entire back door, and the rearview window. This started my spidey senses tingling and I was concerned...especially after I looked under the van and saw a small puddle of oil. I called Vic (he was at work) and we came to the as yet unproven conclusion that something punctured the oil pan. So, Ms. Manatee is temporarily out of commission.

I started looking at the facts and the sequence of events and repairs and came to the inescapable conclusion that Ms. Manatee is a hussy that has the hots for her mechanic. What other explanation could there be?

Thursday, September 01, 2011

That's the sound y'all probably heard. I got caught in the fabulously wonderful time suck known as Pinterest earlier this evening. I started the evening with a handful of boards and only a few things pinned and, in one marathon pinning session, I ended up with 23 boards and over 100 pins.

Wait a minute, I think I heard someone saying they didn't know what pinterest is. Well, think of it as a bunch of photographic bookmarks for shit you like. Tonight, I looked at Shoe Porn...

I have Gabe ready to start school full time today (Sept 1st)...and he's exhausted and excited and nervous.

Joey has been having a great time at school and went to a friend's house to do homework and play. He had a great time and then came home and got sick. He puked his guts out twice and both time it hit so fast that I had substantial clean up to do. Weird thing is he wasn't running a temp at all...has me wondering if he ate something bad at some point in the day. Guess he won't be going to school today.

Marty is loving 3 out of his 4 classes. There's been some drama dealing with the 4th class but it's nothing I can really share. Everything got worked out for the best after a little angst and emotions. On the positive side, Marty's teacher was extremely complimentary about him when I was talking to her. She raved about what a hard worker he is, how respectful he is, and what a great young man he is.

Marty has his first uniform day today for ROTC. Last night I gave him a hair cut, helped him iron his uniform, and Vic taught him to polish his shoes. Can't wait to see him in full uniform.

I took Gabe to meet his teacher Wednesday evening and he met a few of the kids in his class. Gabe was giggling madly with his seat mate and decided to tell them that piss and wiss rhymed. Why do I see phone calls in our future?

And, in the span of a few hours, I've found myself being named the class parent for both Gabe's and Joey's classes. I'll be in charge of compiling contact data, passing on info and updates, and something else (but I'll be damned if I remember what).

What's going on in your life?

And, can I get you to weigh in on the comment system I have in place? I want something that let's me respond to individual comments but I've had one person tell me the comment system was a little obnoxious. Do you like it, dislike it, have one you like better? Let me know.