Not to make you paranoid but speaking from experience you might just be filtering out the overt ones and the subtle ones are still ringing your bells for whatever psychological reasons they do.

This is definitely true. It's why I tend to worry when things are going well. I always wonder if I'm overlooking something.

teacock wrote:

I put that down to age, people become more pragmatic and willing to compartmentalize and negotiate as they get older. But it's true that once you're burned by a "friend" who can't stop pursuing you or making you uncomfortable by trying to change the parameters of the relationship every few months it makes a person very wary. It's easy to assume that it will always go down that way.

Age is a factor, but not the only one. The last woman that did this was 30 (I'm 28, if that matters.) She was in one of my classes last semester. We started talking a bit, and then I spontaneously remembered that I went to high school with her, and then we started talking a lot. I liked her, she liked me, I wanted to ask her out, but was hesitant because everything I've said in this thread so far. I finally did on the last day of class. She was really happy about it, it was probably the best reaction I've gotten when asking someone out. However, she needed to find a baby sitter, so she asked me to call her the next day to finalize our plans and then, she never returned my calls.

I know what happened. She had recently gotten out of the Navy and was adjusting to civilian life. She had also recently divorced a man she described as "a total douchebag." Because of this, she just didn't want to be dating anyone at that time. It would have been nice had she told me that, but instead she decided to assume that I'm not a reasonable person and that ignoring me was easier.

Gaith wrote:

I dig the enthusiasm conveyed in your prose, hombre, but statements like the one above give me pause. The wise man is aware of how little he knows. Women are one of the great mysteries of the universe. Approach with confidence, aye, but hubris, not so much.

I probably meant that differently than you interpreted it. I meant it more like if a conflict or problem comes up, there's very little that would make me completely freak out and be unable to act. I didn't mean that I can solve every problem or that everything is easy and effortless. There are also some bad situations I haven't encountered yet. For example, no one I've dated has tried to murder me. If that ever comes up I'd imagine it won't be very fun. However, it would not surprise me.

teacock wrote:

Gaith wrote:

Women are one of the great mysteries of the universe.

To you?

The differences between men and women are greatly exaggerated. Other humans are often a great mystery, but very little of it is related to sex or gender.