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When I was growing up, I wanted my hair to be the perfect dome shape like the Jacksons (with the exception of Tito and Marlon) and Pam Grier (I wanted to look like Pam Grier).

Unfortunately, it would flop on the top and it would end up looking like “Hey Arnold”.

As I grew older and even now I want the wild natural hair look of Chaka Khan and Diana Ross.

However, my hair is still flopping in the middle and I’ve come to realize that my hair may never look like Chaka Khan’s or Diana Ross’s. I have also come to realize that with the popularity of natural hair, there are so many names for it. I remember calling natural hair “Natural” or better yet “Natruh” because it was chemical free and non-straightened. Today with the popularity of natural hair, people are using all kind of names to describe it. Here are my top ten names for natural hair (in alphabetical order) and my thought on what it means.

1. Afro

According to Oxford dictionary – 1. a thick hairstyle with very tight curls that sticks out all around the head, like the natural hair of some black people.

I think this is a term that was given to African hair by people other than black people. I do remember wearing my hair out one time and a classmate said they wished they could get their hair in an “Afro”. We of course had adopted and shortened the term to ” fro” as in “I don’t think your hair will go into a fro!”

2. Bad/Good

Many Black people (I might want to say at least 80-90%) give hair human characteristics of being Bad or Good. I didn’t know hair was bad or good until I went to an all black school in Chicago and was told I had Bad hair. That was after I was schooled on dark skin and light skin as well (a whole nutha subject). I took it to mean that Bad hair is a tighter curl and Good hair is a looser curl. Recently I was told I had Good hair (wth?), I think because of the length (does it ever end???).

3. Coily

Sounds like twisted wires which can define some natural black hair. Actually it would be the best description for my moms hair. With one strand you could probably string some beads for a necklace. However, I think this is just a made up term to describe black hair.

4. Curly

The majority of people in the world have some curl to their hair. So in describing black hair, curly doesn’t sit right with me. Black hair comes in a multitude of textures just like our skin tone comes in a multitude of shades. Therefore curly is just way too broad a term for describing Black hair.

5. 4ABCDEF…

I can’t figure this out yet.

6. Kinky

I thought kinky had to do with sexual behavior. When it comes to describing Black hair, I think it has to do with your hair if the strand is like in a Z pattern. Yup, that sounds good.

7. Nappy

Oh boy here we go….. Nappy is a term that Black people can use, but no one else can. Some would say it is a derogatory term to describe black hair. The term Nappy I assume comes from hair having the texture of Berber carpet. Personally, there is a lot that can be done with this type of hair. If people would realize why we have hair in the first place then they would realize that this type of hair is the best for protecting our scalp.

8. Natural

This is my favorite term used to describe Black hair. To me it means hair in it’s natural state, no chemicals, no heat straightening, just what you were born with. If you love yourself which I hope you do, then you will love your “Natruh” hair.

9. Textured

Assuming our hair was made of material fibers or flooring.

10. Wooly

Some Black people describe their hair like sheep’s wool. They may choose to relate their hair to how Jesus’s hair was described like lambs wool. I will leave this one alone.

Of course I prefer the term “Natural” hair to describe my hair like the three beautiful sisters from My Natural Sistas.

What do you prefer? Does it really even matter?

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Advice columnist, Ann Lander’s definition of class is timeless. She states, “If you have class you’ve got it made. If you don’t have class, no matter what else you have, it doesn’t make any difference.”

Ask yourself the following eight questions to find out if you are classy.

Are you confident?

Do you have a sense of humor?

Do you make excuses or justify your faults?

Do you follow the golden rule – do to others what you would have them do to you?

Do you think your lack of money excludes you from having class?

Do you act the same way around everyone you come in contact with?

Does it make you feel better by comparing yourself with others?

Do you feel comfortable around all people without regard to race, culture or social status?

If you answered YES to 1, 2, 4, 6,8 and NO to 3, 5,7, then Congratulations! YOU ARE CLASSY!

If you answered differently, then you know what you need to work on.

Does it seem like you work with a Debbie Downer and/or a Schleprock? Is that coworker always waiting to greet you?

When they are the first person I see, I do everything I can to avoid them. Otherwise before the day starts, they will go on and on about the last incident they had with so and so and why so and so is such a so and so and then they will start telling you how valuable they are to the company. Their value of course rivals that of the CEO and blah, blah, blah.

Wondering why your Debbie Downer/Schleprock coworker picks you?

One reason is that your parents taught you that if you can’t say something good about a person don’t say anything at all. So coworker Debbie Downer and coworker Schleprock take your silence at work as undivided attention to their rantings. You may totally agree that your other coworkers are quite strange and trifling, but if you show the slightest indication, you can be certain that your time will be totally monopolized.

My coworker Debbie Downer came to me on a Friday at 5pm, as I was leaving for my two days of freedom, followed me into the restroom and then to my car. I think I had my first panic attack because I felt myself hyperventilating. I had no choice, but to make up some story (a pretty good one too) to get away. Didn’t her parents teach her consideration of others time? Of course not! This caused me to go home feeling agitated. By the time I reached home, I had morphed into Debbie Downer. My husband told me, in his matter-of-fact way, that whatever happens at my job needs to stay at my job. He also stated that I shouldn’t have any problem with how my company is run, unless I stop getting a paycheck. I had to agree. In other words he was saying, don’t bring that mess (my husband would use the expletive starting with “sh”) in our house.

I know that my place of employment is not my life and when I leave at 5pm I will be doing something that I enjoy. Not being there for starters. I also envision myself on a beach everyday reading or in a kitchen trying new recipes (without the clean up of course) rather than being at my place of employment. I do have things to look forward to.

If you are a Debbie Downer or a Schleprock of course you are not going to admit it, so encourage your coworker who you think is a Debbie Downer or Schleprock to look at their job simply as a means to an end and find a way to do something enjoyable. Encourage your coworker to look forward to leaving work everyday to do their enjoyable activity. Drinking heavily and ranting may be enjoyable, but they are not very healthy activities. The company will still run whether we are there or not. For 8 hours of our paid time, however unprofessional, trifling and/or asinine way our employers choose to run their companies, it is their business. You have two options, run your own business or just deal with your employers. If you choose the second option, please, please, please leave your quiet, seemingly happy contented coworkers to their own daydreams of the lying on a beach far away from you.

10 reasons you should not attend your family reunion are ACTUALLY 10 reasons you SHOULD attend. I am the last person on earth to tell someone NOT to attend their family reunion. Family is so important to me and probably the one thing that I value the most. The reason I feel this way is because in my family every child is cherished and valued. As we grow up, we do not stray very far from our family values because we do not want to disappoint people we love.

10 reasons you shouldNOTattend your family reunion:

10 – You’ve tried every diet and exercise program to get rid of your big butt.”Its just so…… big” and you don’t want to accept the fact that it is genetic. Accept it, embrace the butt, all of your older aunts have embraced their butts and wear theirs with dignity. At least your butt is real.

9 – No one seems to care that you are a Vegan and you care about eating healthy. Surprise! There are plenty of your relatives who also care about eating healthy and have voiced their menu selections for the family reunion menu. So Cuz, your whole family just may have moved on from everything fried. Now all things sweet may take a few more generations.

8 – You still have a grudge against your Uncle for taking off his belt and beating your ass when you ran out in the street without looking. Hey, yours was not the only ass that was beaten. Ask your cousins and they will ALL have a similar story.

7 – You were not able to attend the funeral of the last relative that passed away and you feel guilty. Guess what? You will be able to mourn with other family members at the family reunion memorial service. You can reminisce with everyone else who misses their loved one(s).

6 – You still don’t think it is funny when your cousins have to always remind you about the second set of teeth you had and when you looked like the Alien character. Really? How else were they supposed to describe it at the time. No one in your family had seen teeth like that before. Now that you’ve had your braces, you have the confidence to inform your cousins that your teeth came from your other side of the family.

5 – Auntie’s peach cobbler reminds you of grandma’s peach cobbler. Lord knows you miss grandma’s absence. Think about it. Grandma left a legacy and Auntie was blessed with being able to make the peach cobbler that so many enjoy. Maybe she will pass the recipe onto you this year.

4 – You are questioning your Christian beliefs and wondering whether or not there is a God. Families don’t care just as long as they can love you and you can love them back. You know there will be some praying going on and when large numbers of people pray together, many people receive the answers that they are seeking. Just being surrounded by love in itself is a religious experience.

3 – You just can’t take seeing your Aunt or Uncle in their failing health. When people don’t have much time to live, their relationships with the people they love is vital to them. Imagine seeing the sparkle in Auntie’s eyes or listening to Uncle’s chuckle when they see you and you remind them of a special time the two of you shared.

2 – You should absolutely NOT attend your family reunion if it may be the last time you see a relative. That relative may share their wisdom with you which may be most helpful at this time in your life. You will get to interact with the babies and young children of the family and really think about whether or not you are ready for children or grandchildren. Your children can meet and play with their cousins like you did when you were young. Playing with real cousins is Priceless.

1– The number 1 reason you should NOT attend your family reunion is if you think you are an island, living by yourself, not needing family. You are not an island. At some point in your life you will need someone. Let it be a family member who will give you unconditional love, support and give you the honest truth about who you are and where you come from.

*Disclaimer – If your family is not as described then most likely they will not have family reunions. It may be up to you to create a loving family and start the family reunion tradition.

In recent years, I’ve noticed that I have to supply my own cleaning supplies if I want a clean desk and office area. Every company that I have worked for employs a cleaning service that will come in after 5pm. The office cleaners are there promptly by 4:45pm, in uniform and waiting (actually texting) for the 8-5ers to leave. They appear to wait impatiently and they close the bathroom making it inconvenient for us to take the last bathroom break before heading home. Why do they always start in the bathroom? They only change the toilet paper and pour some blue soapy stuff in the toilet. Every morning upon my arrival, the same dust is there on the window sill, computer screen, desktop, plastic plants, etc. The same crumbs, paper bits, dirt and sunflower seed shells (mine of course) are on the floor. My wastebasket has been emptied, thus the same sunflower seed shells on the floor. My time is precious, however the sunflower seeds are a distraction. They cause me not to be as productive in my job when I have to reach down and pick them up and put them in the wastebasket. The other day I found myself sweeping (no signs of a vacuum cleaner) the carpet because I was sick of seeing some leftover confetti from a party we had 6 months ago. The broom that was used came from a co-worker. Not sure why and when they brought a broom to work.

I remember when I was younger and would go to my moms place of employment, I would actually see the office cleaners clean. They had carts like the one above, with all kinds of cleaning supplies. She would move things off her desk so they could dust and I would even hear a vacuum cleaner signaling it was time for mom to go home. The smell…awww so clean and fresh.

Surely office cleaners are not getting paid less than minimum wage. So why don’t they clean anymore?