The short answer to the question above is simple: No. But first, some background. See, the men's "beauty" market — or "grooming," if you will — is a rapidly expanding one. The men's-wear revolution has extended to the world of personal care, with an explosion of male-oriented products that help maintain upkeep on skin, hair, and other body parts — feet included. All well and good. But when we stumbled across this article that extols the virtues of cosmetics for men, our curiosity was piqued. We took a deep breath, and dove in.

We're aware that history is filled with guys embracing blush and foundation, all the way back to the days of ancient Egypt. But any street cred that David Bowie gave to the cause was instantly cancelled out by the recent, scarring memory of guys like Jared Leto and Billy Joe Armstrong experimenting with guy-liner. So it was with trepidation that we approached the piece in the Huffington Post, wherein makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury suggested that a little cover-up can mask minor imperfections and the lingering side effects of a night out drinking, emphasizing words like "subtle" and "undercover." Huh. Well, that sounds reasonable — perhaps even plausible.

But that's when the theory took a sharp turn and veered into territory that spoke of "fine shimmers and dewy finishes" achieved by using "matte bronzers" and a "luminous silk" foundation. Well, sorry Charlotte. You lost us. So, while some men may be comfortable with having an arsenal of greasepaint and brushes sitting in their medicine cabinet alongside their tubes of toothpaste, we are not among them. Healthy-looking skin is one thing. "Glowing" and "dewy" skin? That's quite another.