One of the hardest questions infertile couples face is deciding whether to give God control. I got an email yesterday from a woman expressing a deep desire to conceive – and to have God’s help conceiving. And yet, she admitted, a part of her resists praying for a baby, “Because what if God says, ‘No’?”

The fear of hearing God speak words we don’t want to hear keeps many of us separated from the very One who can alter our path’s course. The only One who always knows what (or who) to bring into our lives to transform our journey from endless wandering to forward progress. The only One who always knows how to transform our heart’s desire from unsatisfied longing to joy.

Sooner or later, each of us must decide whether to maintain the (illusion of) control that enables us to believe we can will a heartbeat into the womb, or the alternative: humbly acknowledging that we already would have if we could.

The truth is, we need help.

Who can we trust?

Too often, we conclude: That depends….

What is God’s plan? How can we know? If we knew, it would be SO much easier to trust Him. Will He tell us anything encouraging if we risk entrusting Him with our hopes and fears? And what if He does say, “No”? Does that mean we will never realize our dream? If so, will refusing to hear Him speak prevent the dream from dying? This is the crazy-making loop we get caught in – and it prevents us from being still and listening to the voice of the only One who has the answers.

Recently, a friend gave me a copy of God Guides. This small book reveals the extraordinary peace and power that are available to those who learn to be still and listen to the God who longs to be known, revealed, and trusted.

Mary Geegh, the author, was a missionary to India. She discovered that, despite enormous effort on her part, she had very little impact on those she meant to be helping. Then, another missionary came to the same village. Within a week, the lives of the villagers were transformed. She humbled herself enough to ask, “How do you do it?”

Her fellow missionary responded, “The first step is to ‘wait’… ‘be still’… and ‘listen.’ Then… write down the things the Holy Spirit speaks to your mind, [and] determine to obey.”

Motivated to succeed, she took the advice. Her ministry became one of patiently waiting on God’s word alongside those who were struggling. “He has the answer for every problem,” she promised. Her fellow listeners discovered it was the truth. Her book is filled with stories of incredible outcomes for those who listened and obeyed.

At one point, Mary writes, “We were given two ears and one mouth because we should listen in prayer twice as much as we speak.” As we listen, we must be ready to hear the truth — because the Lord cannot be other than completely truthful. If we are unwilling to hear the truth, and yet we pretend to “listen” for Him, we will hear a resounding silence. Why? Because we have hardened our hearts to His message. We have turned away from Him – choosing autonomy and (the illusion of) control over trust. Although we will always be permitted to choose this path, it will never lead to His best for us.

So, must we risk listening with open minds and hearts?

It is not as fear-inducing as it sounds. Scripture is full of promises of God’s love for His people, His faithfulness, and His deep desire to bless. Wouldn’t you like to be on the receiving end of unlimited grace and power? Wouldn’t you like to experience the incredibly abundant goodness of God?

If so… be still. Rest in the knowledge that He is for you. Trust that He intends to make you a victor, not a victim. Listen for His reassurances. Wait patiently for His guidance. Write down and follow His instructions. This is the path to abundant joy.