Gifts from Hubby Rant!

Happy Momma!Thread Starter

SHORT VERSION- does anyone have problems with SO not getting creative with gifts? Where the gift feels compassionless?

LONG VERSION...
I am a very giving person... I have been very blessed and love to buy my friends flowers, my hubby cool gifts- clothing computer crap, buy nice things for my folks, etc. But when it comes to getting creative thoughtful things in return from my Hubby it's just not happening! Note: He used to be very creative with gifts, love notes, etc. But now it seems a contstant frustration for me. Now granted my husband just graduated and does not have a job yet, and says he doesn't feel comfortable spending my money. I have always told him whatever money WE make is OUR money.... but anyway...
At christmas I gave him lists of ideas, I constantly pointed out ideas, etc. And he did a great job and did use some thought and didn't buy directly from the list.
But I hate making lists, giving ideas, etc. because that, IMO, takes away from my reason for giving gifts. I do it to show people that I listen to them, I know what they like, and I spend loads of time finding the perfect thing just for them!

So for my Bday, I didn't drop any hints. It's 2 weeks after Christmas, so he should know what I'm liking at the moment. And I didn't get crap! (He wrote happy birthday on my mirror in my bathroom.) We went to the store a couple days after and I bought a coffee machine that I had been wanting and we called it my Bday gift. Well I buy myself things that I want pretty much whenever I want, within reason of course, but I don't see how this is a gift from him! I would have rather had a homemade card and a spaghettios that he cooked! That would be more like the gifts I give to him! I put so much thought into them, and when I tell him this is what I want and he goes and just gets it, to me it's pointless. Same thing goes for Valentine's day. I have put a lot of thought into this special day, bought him some shares in a stock he likes, I'm renting a cabin in Hot Springs for the upcoming weekend, and mailed him a cute valentines package with goodies in it (so he would have something to open while I'm out of town for the next few days.) Plus a few more little things. But I don't think he has done ANYTHING! I get home thursday night at 6:10 and we leave for Hot Springs on Friday AM. I don't think he has even thought about it because I'm out of town... and I hate to even ask him if he has done anything or does he need ideas, etc. But I did ask and every lame excuse possible came out of his mouth, proving to me that no thought was put into it... Now I don't even want anything...because I feel he is only doing it because I am expecting something!

Louis Vuitton Addict

Oh sorry you are feeling a little uncared for at the moment like you are doing all the caring. I think your DH needs to show more thought for you & a little initiative when it come to gifts. Why not sit him down & tell him exactly how you feel? I don't see any other way around this, obviously you are unhappy with situation & you do need to talk it through.

Admin

Admin

Happy Momma!Thread Starter

Yep I have spoke with him he just uses the lack of his own money as his excuse. And then he says he can't wait until his first check and/or sign on bonus so he can buy me diamonds! LOL
But no I have told him and my Mom just says guys aren't as good as we are by nature! Which to a certain extent, I agree, and psychology says so also!
but it just sucks that I feel when you love someone you want to do everything to make sure they know how much! And when you don't get that same in return it's sad!

Admin

Admin

^that's how I feel too . . . but sadly, men are wired differently.
Most of them just have NO clue, it's not a matter of how much they love us,. more of an issue of how selfish and ignorant they can be!!

Wol

SO has been creative..sometimes. Like this: he knows that I like chocolate. So for last christmas he gave me boxes and boxes of chocolates, which added up to a whopping 9.5 pounds of chocolate. Imagine the calories!!

I have no idea at all what I'll get for valentines day. I only hope it won't be more chocolate. The chocolate I got for christmas went straight to my hips and stayed there!

Member

It's just a man thing. I have to lead DH in the right direction 95% of the time. Otherwise, I find myself disappointed. Sometimes, he will surprise me with something good he picked on his own but for the most part he is not great.

I feel bad for him though because I sometimes wonder if that is my fault though as I am EXTREMELY picky! LOL He got upset when the cake I had for this years' birthday wasn't "up to my standards." I typically have a wedding cake for my b-day. My last one was a three-tier mad hatter cake decorated in a poker theme (we had poker party). This year we didn't have a party (as we are/were moving) and I got a one-layer cake with flowers on it. Boring. So when I saw it I just said it was okay. He was disappointed and I got another cake a couple days later shaped like an LV bag! LOL What a pain though as it was right in the middle of our move!?! So no pictures! Sorry I wanted to take some but I still don't know where the digicam is!

Happy Momma!Thread Starter

Member

I don't want my husband to buy me gifts for holidays or my birthday (mine is a few weeks after Christmas too). He is so sweet and thoughtful all year, I feel like I don't deserve him already. I buy whatever I want, he buys whatever he wants, and that's the way we like it!