Cookie and the Geese

August 20, 2008

So, sweet internet, I'm sorry it's been a while since my last post, but we've been busy beavers over here. And that is because last Friday, our awesome, adorable Cookie turned 30! Thirty! Which constitutes a milestone, and in my book, milestones are heralded in by making sure the celebrated party is completely divorced from any relationship she may have had with sobriety. Sobriety, we spit on you! And then, we sing.

Consequently, Cookie's milestone was celebrated with a three day party at my parents' lake house. The itinerary for this event included drinking things, eating occasionally, and then drinking more things. And, of course, it also included singing. Oh, the singing, and despite the fact that I can't even whistle in tune, something about copious amounts of wine makes me believe that, hark, I am an undiscovered songbird, and I must share my gift with the People. This problem is compounded by the fact that I seem to know all of the lyrics to every song ever made, from Toto to Tupac, something else which I feel compelled to share with those less fortunate. And so it goes, and so I wake up the next morning and ask Senator/Sasquatch/we-still-haven't-decided-on-a-name-over-here whether I serenaded the masses, and he is forced to gently admit that, indeed, I stood on the kitchen counter and performed a medley of M.I.A. to Metallica before someone finally put the iPod back on shuffle, thereby ending my "M is for Misery!" world tour. And then I swear off drinking forever. Until it is time for mimosas.

But, so! Singing happened. And because I cannot share that particular humiliation with you, or offer you a cocktail, or a bite of my soon-to-be-famous Fettuccine Alfredo [which will kill you dead, DEAD in a bite because it contains three parts heavy cream to every one part pasta (shh)], instead I figured that we could all celebrate this milestone by me finally, FINALLY telling y'all the story of Cookie and the Geese. Which is even illustrated! Just like a cautionary fairytale should be.

But first, we must begin with back story. The whole business began last year at our annual firm retreat. I don't remember the month during which the retreat was held, but I can tell you that the particular weekend of the outing contained Friday the Thirteenth. I can also add that we were staying in cabins in the woods. On Friday the Thirteenth. In the Georgia mountains. Where Bigfoot Deliverance lives. So there was a general sense of horror for everyone, but mostly me.

And mostly Cookie, even though her horror had to be secondary, because up in them thar hills, Cookie caught the most explosive, awful sinus infection that has ever been suffered by a human person at any time in the history of the world. I feel comfortable making this pronouncement, because I saw Cookie. And...people, Cookie is a beautiful woman. Truly. And yet, this sinus infection made her into a scary, gooey creature, which caused her eyes to swell shut, and forced random fluids to leave her various orifices and go shooting across the room without provocation, in the manner of a mucus-based sprinkler system, and as a result, we all spent the better part of the weekend running the hell away from her. She was like a geyser of disease, and she clearly felt like walking fucking death.

As soon as the retreat ended and we returned to a town where doctors do not suggest 'bleeding' as a treatment, Cookie took the day off work and went to see a professional. And so there I was, sitting at my desk and believing that Cookie was finally getting the medical attention she deserved, when one of the partners came into my office and said, "Cookie was just in a car accident! Have you heard anything?"

Obviously, I was immediately concerned, and my head filled with images of Cookie sneezing and the windshield blowing out with the gale force of her projection, or possibly, strands of mucus actually leaving her nose and, proboscis-like, seizing the steering wheel and heading out for the open road. But before I could ask any follow-up questions about her condition, or to clarify just how, exactly, snot forces you to wreck a vehicle, my phone rang. And I saw that it was Cookie, and so I answered, and this is what occurred:

Self: Dude! Are you okay? I heard you were in a car accident!

Cookie: [Snort. Sniff] I wad id ad assidend!

Self: I know! Are you okay?

Cookie: I tink so. But I wad ID AD ASSIDEND.

Self: I know! How's your car?

Cookie: ...Car? Oh, carss FIIIIINE. Is PERFIC.

Self: I...good?

Cookie: Becods I wad dot ID a car ad de time.

Self: You were in an accident without your car?

Cookie: ONDA HIGHWAY.

Self: You were in an accident without your car...ON THE HIGHWAY.

Cookie: Jes.

Self: WHICH HIGHWAY.

Cookie: Georgia four hunnerd.

Self: THAT IS A BIG HIGHWAY.

Cookie: DOUGH SHIT.

Self: ...

Cookie: Ids JUR FAULD.

Self: What?! How my fault? What'd I do now?

Cookie: Dere. Wad. Geetz.

Self: I...Geetz.

Cookie: GEETZ. GEETZ GEETZ GEETZ. Birs thad hong, like 'hong hong.'

Self: Honk?

Cookie: JES. GEETZ. HONGING AND RUDDIN AMOK. ONDA HIGHWAY.

Self: Wait, geese?

Fuggin GEETZ. Das whad I said.

Cookie: JES. A momba goots an a bunch ob baby gootses.

Self: A momma geese and a bunch of babies on...Georgia 400?

Cookie: JES. Ad we were id traffics, ad I wadn't gonna led dem ged hid by a car.

Self: Not nearly as much as you're going to hate me when I write about this for the whole internet!

Cookie: (silence)

Self: I....kidding?

Cookie: Cad you call me 'Mudder Goots?'

The following weekend, a noticeably-less-congested Cookie -- who is a very good sport -- agreed to reenact the scene in her yard and on her street, which is how we are lucky enough to have such vivid illustrations to go along with our story. Of Cookie. Being hit by a car. While trying to save a gaggle of geese, in the rain, on the highway, with a fever of 102. And if you ever wondered why I worship the everloving spit out of this girl, then that story should resolve the matter entirely.

So, happy birthday to you, awesome Cookie! I hope your next 30 years are filled with all the love and laughter you could want, that the errant geese of the world are kept firmly in check, and that you never have to endure my enthusiastic rendition of Enter Sandman ever, ever again.

And with that, I'm headed out to the beach today with the wonderful Senator Still Unnamed for a long weekend. So I'm sure I'll return with more stories of debauchery, wild birds, and painfully embarrassing singing for everyone. In the meantime, y'all take care, and if you happen to spot any confused geese wandering out on a highway near you, I'm confident that you'll know exactly what to do.

Posted by: Corinne
| August 20, 2008 04:42 PM

Posted by: Carrie
| August 20, 2008 04:54 PM

A friend just sent me this link. I laughed so hard that my children came running in to see what was going on with me. There were tears POURING down my face. Seriously, this is the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Totally laughing my ass off and glad I'm not reading you at work for a change, because the secretaries always think I'm crazy, giggling like hell all by myself in my office. I'm glad Cookie didn't get badly hurd when da car hid her.

Also, I love geese. Many years ago I watched a goose chase down my not-yet ex-husband and bite him hard on the ass, and I have loved geese ever since.

Have a fun filled weekend.............take pictures of your new man please!

jp

Posted by: jp
| August 20, 2008 08:46 PM

I love Cookie too. That was some serious funny!

Posted by: Angela
| August 20, 2008 09:05 PM

OMG, seriously...you had me rolling on the floor with Cookie's spurting bodily fluids taking over the steering wheel and driving straight into we know not what....god, I am so glad we're getting regular reports from Doxie Land again!
Oh, and Happy 30th to Cookie, the Mother of All Geese.

I LOVE this story! And what great illustrations! Luckily I read it at home - for some reason my office firewall blocks Miss Doxie! They must understand the disruption that reading Miss Doxie at work would cause!

Posted by: Kate
| August 20, 2008 10:19 PM

How is it that tonight I did a search on Doxeez and find your wonderful humor??? Where on your site can I find out da hole storee of you, your beginning and how long you have been the queen of the long dogs? Thanks for the gut laughs!

I am old enough to be your mother but humor has kept me young...it's a magic secret... thanks again. D

Posted by: Donna Dee
| August 20, 2008 10:38 PM

My office firewall blocks Doxie too. It thinks she is Spam. This also cracks me up, in its own way.

P.S. Leigh, my three kids (7, 5 and 3) are now also fans based on the goose pictures. They think those are actual photos of the actual events. "Oh, that poor lady!"

I have missed you for many long months, through my own break up after 6 years and other unpleasantness like writing a brief and 2nd semester Contracts. I so hope when I am a lawyer in 2 years, I can be Just Like You.

Cruella

Posted by: Cruella
| August 20, 2008 11:26 PM

You just killed me dead with the laughing. I sent this to my friend Deb Jo because good lord - exactly like one of our adventures! Don't even get me started about how Deb accidentally set her hair on fire this weekend.

Jesus Christ, Leigh. It's worth every minute of the wait. YOU OWN THE FUNNY.

Posted by: Caroline
| August 21, 2008 03:32 AM

Thank you. oh God, thank you. The story was phenomenal on it's own, but including the pictures made it possibly one of your best posts.

For those who have never had the pleasure- If Georgia 400 were an oval shaped highway it could be a NASCAR track because that is how fast everyone drives on it. I can't believe Cookie was on her hands and knees on 400 and they didn't have to use a shovel to pick her up.

Posted by: mommack
| August 21, 2008 05:27 AM

I am terribly delighted that the lovely Cookie is ok!
Getting hit by a car is no fun at all. I got splatted last year by an 84 year old man with no driver's license! He ran a stop sign when I was going through the crosswalk. The last thing I remember thinking was "Oh SHIT, he's not going to stop!"
Next thing I knew I woke up and saw a bunch of feet standing around me. Got ambulanced to the trauma hospital, and dosed up with not one, but TWO shots of morphine! I tried to hook up my daughter with the investigating cop, Officer McCutie, and thought the ER room curtains were beautiful and irridescent.
I got poked and prodded and stripped down to get into a gown. I did not care, though. Better living through pharmaceuticals and all that.
However, I picked that very day to wear these extremely hot, lacy, sexy red thong underwear. But that's not the worst thing. I WORK AT THAT HOSPITAL!!!!!! They knew who I was!
Oh the humiliation! Well, Only when the pain meds wore off.
Fractured my knee in 2 places and gave me a concussion to where a forgot a co-worker's name who I had been working with for 7 years.
So I am happy she is fine and on her feet and can still party with the best of them.

Posted by: deb
| August 21, 2008 08:08 AM

Oh mah dear baby jesus on a plastic plate. My family is sitting here as I wheeze and cry with laughter, thinking that surely NOW i have gone utterly over the edge. Oh lord. That is... wow... that is possibly THE funniest thing i have ever read on the internets, which includes the story of Bo pooping all over the vet room out of spite and your mom's consequent hatred lol. wow. God bless Cookie!

Posted by: lydia
| August 21, 2008 09:10 AM

God bless Cookie for saving the baby gootses. Seriously, that's the shit that rockets you straight to heaven in my book.

Posted by: Kranki
| August 21, 2008 09:25 AM

bahahahahahah Great entry. My mom's the biggest animal-loving hippie in the world, and I don't think even she'd get out of her car on GA 400 to herd geets.

Posted by: Atlantean
| August 21, 2008 09:28 AM

OMG - that was hilarious and I am very happy that Cookie and the Geese are okay! You certainly have a way of expressing things that make me laugh so hard that I really must remember to not be drinking things when reading, as such liquids are caused to be expelled through my nose. Your blog should come with a warning! please! :)

Posted by: Scott
| August 21, 2008 09:48 AM

OMFG! This was the most fabulous story... in fact one of the best stories that I have read in a long time. It made me cry with laughter and I really needed a good laugh. Thanks Miss Doxie! Please write MORE! :)

I'm literally in tears. Which is unfortunate, since I work in an open-plan office. If anyone asks what's wrong I'll just sob and mutter "Ask de baby gootses. Dey dough wad dey did." At the very least it should get me a day off work.

Posted by: Matt
| August 21, 2008 12:06 PM

Posted by: Erica
| August 21, 2008 01:36 PM

Oh, my fucking god, this is the funniest shit EVAR! Kudos to you and Happy Day to Cookie.

I have to go compose myself now and maybe change my pants.

I really missed you, Leigh.

Posted by: Suzy Q
| August 21, 2008 02:08 PM

I officially love Cookie! See my family did this kind of crazy stuff all the time, (my step mom saved a turtle that was in the middle of the road from a Mexcian[no I'm not racist he had a big flag on the back of his truck] that was going to eat him. She got out to move him to the pond next to the road he asked if he could have the turtle she asked what he was going to do with it, and he said make soup so she threw it in the back of our car (where it peed everywhere) and drove it home, and put it in the lake in our neighborhood.

Anyway I sometimes forget that this isn't normal until I show up to work 15 minutes late soaking wet from doing something like this in the rain, and see the looks I get. It's also how I knew my husband was "the one" when he didn't roll his eyes the 1st or 50th time I made him pull over.

Posted by: Courtney
| August 21, 2008 04:08 PM

That is the funniest blog post I have ever read!!Props to Cookie, aka Mudder Gootz! And your re-enactment illustrations are fabulous! I'm so glad you are back.

Ps. I like the name Senator Studley.

Posted by: Mary Harney
| August 21, 2008 04:54 PM

Pardon me while I run to the ladies to reapply all the makeup that I just wiped off my face from all the laughing and the crying. Sweet heaven that was the funniedt thing I have read in a VERY long time...like since around December 2, 2007. :) Soooo glad you're back and that we finally got the story of Cookie and the Geese! Well worth the wait! What a good sport! Happy birthday Cookie!

Posted by: Christine
| August 21, 2008 05:06 PM

Okay. I have never, literally, shot a beverage out my nose. But "ID WAD A DESPERAD TIME." did it.

Posted by: Iggeh
| August 21, 2008 10:17 PM

OMG. HA HA HA HA

BTW, I also do a very enthusiastic drunken rendition of Enter Sandman. I blame Rock Band since every time it comes on radio/ipod/cd now I have to tell whomever I am with this is my fav rock band song to sing and did you know i once got a 98% for Enter Sandman on Rock Band?

I don't even know where to start. Um, one: Hilarious. Two: Love the fact that you illustrated this with staged photos more than words can say. (I should take a photo of how much I love that you staged photos of this.) And three: Wish I knew you in real life because you're totally the sort of friend that every girl wishes she had. :)

(BTW, I'm the gal who sent you the Photoshopped pic of Bo as Bo Derek running on the beach like forever ago, remember dat? Yeah, I stopped blogging for like two years but now I'm baaaack and cannot believe I ever stopped reading blogs because yours totally makes my day. If you ever move to the DC area I want you to be my best friend, m'kay? Alrighty then.)

ODE TO COOKIE.
Sung to the tune of Bennie & the Jets by Elton John and Bernie Taupin

Caveat. I am NOT a songwriter or a poet. This is coming from an old hippie who made it out of the very early 70's fairly intact.

*******************************

Hey Cookie, driving down 400
Your head is feeling something
That’s put many people under
You took the antibiotics
So look around
You're gonna see a sight
Solid rows of geese

Say, Doxie and Shania!, have you heard her yet
Out there chasing them down…Cookie and the Geese
They waddle into traffic
But Cookie's really keen
She's got spiky boots, a lawyer suit
You know I saw it on TeeVee
C-C-C-C-Cookie and the Geese!

Hey Dox, tell us all about her
The geese are getting restless
But Cookie makes them safe
They will survive, as long as she’s around
But don’t let her crawl the streets
When cars are coming down

Posted by: Deb
| August 22, 2008 08:54 AM

Yay! You're back!
I was checking your website for months, and today I checked and there are THREE new posts to read!
It's good to hear that you've found Happy again. It shows.
Loved the geese story!

Posted by: Brandi
| August 23, 2008 03:01 PM

We need more Cookies in the world! I've scrapped dogs off the road that have been hit by a car, but I've never been because of it. Note that yes, I would take a hit if it meant saving a animals life.

I'm glad Cookie is okay and that she got past her sinus infection from hell. Oh and if you're taking votes, I still think Senator Sasquatch rocks!

Posted by: Stacy
| August 24, 2008 09:25 AM

OH MY GAWD, Doxie!!! Doxie 2.0 is even funner and funnIer than Doxie 1.0. YOU ROCK!!!!

Keep 'em coming!!!

Oh,and what's this about the unnamed Senator? Did I miss something?

xoxo!

Posted by: Melissa O
| August 24, 2008 07:49 PM

ok. I went back and read. I've GOT IT NOW!! YAY!

Senatorman strikes me as kind of cool. What sayest ye?

Posted by: Melissa O
| August 24, 2008 07:59 PM

My fiance refers to you as my secret girl crush, and always catches me reading your blog because, he claims, I have a special reading-miss-doxie-laugh (=hysterical, most likely) that only happens when I read this best! blog! ever!
Which on this particular evening has gotten me in trouble, because I should be helping him fold our wedding invitations... pscht. they can wait. doxie much, much funner.

Posted by: elise
| August 24, 2008 10:29 PM

that was friggin' hilarious.

Posted by: paula
| August 25, 2008 09:23 AM

Haha!!! That was amazing! And once again had me literally laughing out loud. Not one of those "Oh yeah, I lol'd" where you humor the person by making it sound like you were on the floor in hysterics, but the kind of laughing out loud that actually involves laughing. And loudly. :)
Your way with words is incredible. Can't wait for the next entry!

I just discovered you are back. I am happy. I just decided to check one more time before officially declaring you ..... well you know.
Glad to see the dogs are ok. Always love to hear about them. It will soon be Halloween - I actually saw some decorations and magazines in the grocery last week. Then it will be Christmas according to the calendar of the marketing.
While you were gone I had to find someone to fill my empty brain. Check out ---
dachshundlove@blogspot.com

and

dailydachshund@blogspot.com

Have you also heard there is a new real, glossy paper magazine called Doxie Digest coming out (not gay) in October. It is quarterly. See what all you missed.
We love you. Hope you can stick around. Know we like you funny or single.

Posted by: MH
| August 25, 2008 08:52 PM

Great story - even better pictures!

But about "Senator"... Seriously. VEGETRON. I am telling you.

Calling him Senator just makes me picture him as very old. And puffy. And stern and humorless and dry. Bad.

You know what? The singing thing could be WORSE. Seriously. *I*, for example, seem to be under the distinct (winey) impression that I can TAP DANCE. I have numerous semi-memories of my dates (back in the day) showing up in the kitchen to find me tap dancing my heart out in the midst of a circle of horrified onlookers.

Not enough therapy in the world for THAT. But there's a whole karaoke industry based on YOUR delusion.

Posted by: reen
| August 28, 2008 03:17 PM

I'm just glad you're back blogging. I was worried you'd been eaten by mountain lions or something.

Posted by: victoria
| August 28, 2008 05:34 PM

My 7 and 5 year olds are laughing their little tushies off at my (edited for content) reading of this post. You appeal to all ages Doxie! Thanks!

Posted by: Colleen
| August 30, 2008 06:55 PM

...see, because of the hysterical hillarity of this entry, now whenever I use the word "happy" (which I do daily, most often in response to a) kittens, b) noodles or c) purple) I pronounce it "habby", and think of geese.

Posted by: Elise
| August 30, 2008 11:57 PM

OMG, Doxie, I am so happy you are back. I just peed my pants. I'm glad COokie is ok, but Lord, is that a funny story!!!!!

Posted by: McKate
| September 5, 2008 10:35 AM

OMG, crying here! This is the best post yet. I would do the same thing as Cookie. I hope she is not suffering any ill effects from getting hit. I think I read this once a week for a good laugh.

Posted by: Tana
| September 7, 2008 12:39 PM

Well, really, now that you are once again "off the shelf," I think I need to be formally introduced to Cookie. Because she is hot. In a red top. Or pretty much any way at all. She is total heat. Does she like men?

Posted by: Michael
| September 8, 2008 04:01 PM

Not only are you the undisputed queen of the Internets, but you make a mean Fettucine Alfredo! I'm with you, Miss Doxie--it ain't diet food. A cream sauce based pasta dish, made properly, is a heart attack on a plate. Mangia!

Posted by: Chrissie
| September 10, 2008 12:51 PM

OhmyFRICKINgod! I was reading along just FINE and silently smiling at your cute story and then you had to go and imitate Cookie and how she sounded word for word and in seconds I'm laughing hysterically almost falling off my ball chair, which I can barely stay on as it is cuz I'm so clutzy but you being funnier than all get out does not help a bit. No. No it does not missy.. but I do sooo love your stories. And happy belated to you, Cookie! And your cute geese!

Posted by: Kate Setzer Kamphausen
| September 11, 2008 03:02 PM

Cookie is the shizbomb, man. So freaking hysterical! Totally would not have been the same story without the reenactment. I think that there should be a yearly reenactment in which GA 400 is shut down except for Cookie, the geese, and the MUDDERFUGGING CAR. Kind of like they do civil war reenactments.

Posted by: Debbie
| September 18, 2008 07:56 AM

Posted by: Debbie
| September 19, 2008 12:54 PM

Please post! Tomorrow is a month!

But, so glad you are back and give Gimmme and Bo pets for us!

Posted by: Anya
| September 19, 2008 01:28 PM

You are one of those people that is just high on life or popping extras from the doc? That Senator Still Unnamed sounds like a real boring prick. I think you would be better off dating a geetz. Damn Canadians always doing shit like laying out in the street and taking pictures of oddball scenarios.

Posted by: cindie
| September 20, 2008 07:44 AM

Posted by: Melissa O
| September 20, 2008 05:23 PM

YES SHE DID!!! LEEEEEIIIIGGGGHHHH!!!! Where are you?!?!

Posted by: Melissa O
| September 20, 2008 05:26 PM

I only just found out Doxie is BACK ONLINE.

Oh thank goodness Ms. Doxie and her doxies are back (even if diminished in number by 1/3). Welcome to the 2x dog club). We're a two dog household ONLY because I am banned by the boyfriend from even looking at petfinder.com (oh, that and our women pups WOULD NOT LIKE another dog taking attention from them).

Posted by: caehli
| September 23, 2008 10:03 PM

where did u go??? Oh Miss D. I hope all is well on the homefront!

Posted by: val
| September 25, 2008 01:57 PM

Me heart! It is lying shattered in tiny pieces at my feet!

Posted by: Debbie
| September 25, 2008 03:26 PM

Great story and this is my first time here. I see you have alot of fans too. This is a story I will come back and read again. Love it!

alright, so my friend kat linked you in her livejournal. i clicked, & i really don't know why, b/c normally i don't read the blogs of total strangers. but i checked you out anyway; i think her line was something about daring to read your archives & not laugh. & well, i can't turn down a good dare. first impression? hilarious, smart, & she says y'all? WTH, what a badass. AND pretty? WTH x2, you have got to be fucking kidding me. this gal can't be a real person.

i'm going to have to catch up on the archives someday. but in the meantime, planet unicorn, hayyyyy...

Posted by: Mieneke
| October 1, 2008 11:49 AM

Why do so many of you act like Miss Doxie is obligated to post for you? Leave her alone. If she wants to post in her blog she will, if not she wont. Maybe she has better things to do- like live her life. She owes you nothing.

Miss Doxie, I hope you are doing well. I love your blog. :)

Posted by: trinkdea
| October 4, 2008 10:43 AM

I missed you... and the dogs!!!!! Glad to see you're back and in one piece. :)

Posted by: debbie
| October 6, 2008 05:37 PM

If only I had your email...I would beg you to post something. I turned my best friend onto your blog. She had one of the best weiners in the world for nine years. Link passed a few weeks ago and she just got his ashes back last week. We would tell each other when there was a new Miss Doxie post. We miss your posts. My girl needs a funny Miss Doxie post to make her feel better. PLEASE for Colleen!!!

Posted by: Cindy
| October 7, 2008 11:31 PM

Hey, Miss D,

I hope everything's okay--it's all right if stuff changed since you posted this--we love you and support you like crazy.

xo

Posted by: Ab
| October 13, 2008 01:50 PM

And..ps..I turn into a professional DANCER when I drink..If we ever got together, our act would kick ASS...Or we would THINK we kicked ASS until the next day....and the reports came in from the troops...And the liquor wore off..NAH! We would still kick ass!

Stop teasing us, child! I know you have a grown-up job but David Sedaris only writes a book every two years or so. I depend on Miss Doxie to fill the void and crack me up.

I love your writing, just wish there was more. I've always had a soft spot for people that can make a routine trip to the bank/grocery store/Wal Mart into an adventure of Indiana Jones proportions.

Posted by: Sara
| October 18, 2008 10:56 PM

Stop teasing us, girl! David Sedaris only puts out a book every two years or so and you fill the void. I know you have a "grown-up" job and a life and everything. And that's just about being selfish, missy. You're supposed to be writing! But you gotta land yourself a damn book deal. Not fair that you're smart, pretty AND so freaking hilarious.

I've always had a soft spot for those people who can turn a routine trip to the bank/grocery store/Target into an adventure of Indiana Jones proportions.

Write more if you can.

Posted by: Sara
| October 18, 2008 11:01 PM

Where you at Lady? Inquiring minds like to know! ;) Hope all is well...

Posted by: Mieneke
| October 21, 2008 11:58 AM

Where you at Lady? Inquiring minds like to know! ;) Hope all is well...

Posted by: Mieneke
| October 21, 2008 11:58 AM

SIGH!
Another Halloween without Miss Doxie.....
:o(

that makes the bogeyman cry.....

Posted by: wanker
| October 21, 2008 12:56 PM

It is almost Halloween! I am sending you happy thoughts...
My plan is to buy a corpse and stand it up facing a corner of the basement, in the nook next to the beer fridge where my man will find it and pee his pants.
Just pray I don't forget and find it myself, first.

Posted by: Elise
| October 21, 2008 02:20 PM

I keep finding myself singing the title for this post to the song "Bennie and the Jets."

Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cuh-Cuh-Cookie and the GEESE.

Posted by: kate
| October 22, 2008 06:43 PM

Kate! Great minds! Control F and do a search for Bennie to find the awful parody I did for Cookie and the Geese!

Posted by: Deb
| October 22, 2008 08:38 PM

This was my last visit.

Please, if you aren't going to bother, take it down or say goodbye.

You are brilliant, that goes without saying, and very entertaining. Still, to wait weeks, months [Dukie situation not withstanding] for a post makes for a poor blog.

With your intelligence, quick wit and all around love you will go forward splendidly. The fact you are gorgeous, hey...doesn't hurt.

Take care. Bye.

Posted by: SkippyMom
| October 23, 2008 06:02 AM

BO??? Are you there? Gimmme? anyone? Just kidding. I love you like crazy and can't wait for you to come back to us,and if thats not what you want, I just hope you are busy being happy and productive and whatever, cause like the song says "Its my life........ blah blah blah. Anywho... we love and miss you and the dogs and hope you are well and incredibly,wonderfully happy. (And getting laid on the regular)wink wink

Posted by: karla
| October 25, 2008 02:25 PM

Also, the porn thing? Gross.

Posted by: karla
| October 25, 2008 02:30 PM

Miss you. Hope all is well, or better, or less sucky. You don't owe us a thang, sweetie, but please know you are missed. A lot.

Posted by: Duchie's mom
| October 27, 2008 01:32 PM

Miss Dooooxxxieee!! We miss you! Love, the internet.

Posted by: MyEvilTwin
| October 27, 2008 10:54 PM

1. Yay!! Doxie back!! We love you and hoped you hadn't been eaten by the internet!!

2. OMG, Cookie! Stop getting run over!! Miss Doxie is not the same as Supergirl, can actually get hurt by cars!! No more trying to impersonate her!

3. Holy CRAP! Guess what, Dox?? The SAME FREAKIN' THING is happening to me and my boyfriend right now!!! We've argued about the marriage thing. He doesn't believe in it. I pretty much want it some day. Heck, I just WANT someone to WANT to marry me. Can't a girl even get that anymore? Well, and the fact that I found incriminating emails that he sent to another women that use the words "love", "your perfect body", and "I would snuggle with you if my arms were long enough". Which, in my book, pretty much mean "he's a douche" and "very nearly cheating". Anyway, just wanted to tell you that, again, as you pretty much know from everyone ELSE's posts, that you aren't alone!! Boys are dumb!!

Posted by: Gretchen
| October 28, 2008 04:06 PM

I hope you don't mind but I made a couple of designs on CafePress:
http://www.cafepress.com/pocketlama/6239091
and:
http://www.cafepress.com/pocketlama/6239072