And in some countries a rapist can avoid prison time by marrying their victim. Obviously there are some cases where marriage is not the answer.

''

That is just plain disgusting and not necessary to forward the argument. I've noticed that the men here on some threads indulge in sophomoric sexual humour. I've never said anything because I didn't participate in those threads, I'm thinking of the 'consorts' one. But I do here. And I want it to stop.

rory wrote:...I've noticed that the men here on some threads indulge in sophomoric sexual humour. I've never said anything because I didn't participate in those threads, I'm thinking of the 'consorts' one. But I do here. And I want it to stop.

I don't think you will find me indulging in sophomoric sexual humor and I used the example to outline that marriage is not always the answer, so just chill out, because you are merely projecting.

Blue Garuda; obviously you and Greg don't care how unpleasant such a reminder is; that for a majority of women we can be raped and in many parts of the world forced into marriage to 'fix' it. Telling me of a few cases where a female teacher rapes a young boy or a boy is forced into child marriage doesn't equalize this and is frankly pretty shameful.

as I said the lack of feeling doesn't surprise me as a woman as a lesbian. But who expects compassion wisdom and understanding among Buddhists?rory

I reccomend you go and read the Private Message I sent you, because the only shameful activity at this point is your continued public insistence of my misogyny based on your mistaken imputation of the meaning of my previous statements.

rory wrote:Blue Garuda; obviously you and Greg don't care how unpleasant such a reminder is; that for a majority of women we can be raped and in many parts of the world forced into marriage to 'fix' it. Telling me of a few cases where a female teacher rapes a young boy or a boy is forced into child marriage doesn't equalize this and is frankly pretty shameful.

as I said the lack of feeling doesn't surprise me as a woman as a lesbian. But who expects compassion wisdom and understanding among Buddhists?rory

If it is shameful to prove your assertions incorrect? It is surely totally shameful to then accuse me of equating one example with another and launch into personal abuse. You were wrong and making daft assertions based on false premises. Get over it and stop preaching and seeking an escalation which is just feeding to your own anger, sadly very obviously rising within you.

You are demonising people you do not know on the basis of a personal hangup which has led to your projection of it onto others. To use something as an example is not the same as claiming it is a good thing. The battle is all going on in your mind, not mine and not Greg's. THis is what you will find in Buddhism - compassion, not pity. It works by seeking what is best - and IMHO it would be best for you to find a Guru and work through whatever problems you are clearly struggling with.

If you look at it historically & globally, it's true that women have been overwhelmingly on the receiving end of such abuse. Rory may have overstated matters when she claims it happens only to women, but her point is generally correct.

Need help getting on retreat? Want to support others in practice? Pay the Dana for Dharma forum a visit...

Jikan wrote:If you look at it historically & globally, it's true that women have been overwhelmingly on the receiving end of such abuse. Rory may have overstated matters when she claims it happens only to women, but her point is generally correct.

Undoubtedly. But this does not mean we should ignore incidences of rape, forced marriage and other forms of violence and abuse perpertrated upon men (either by women or other men). I don't think you will find anybody here disagreeing that it happens mainly to women, but you will find people that disagree that it happens solely to women.

Anyway, my original comment referred to forced marriage in a metaphorical sense, as a VERY clear example of where the marriage/wedding/union of ideas is not always a positive thing. There was no attempt on my part to condone forced marriage, quite the contrary.

And in some countries a rapist can avoid prison time by marrying their victim. Obviously there are some cases where marriage is not the answer.

''

That is just plain disgusting and not necessary to forward the argument. I've noticed that the men here on some threads indulge in sophomoric sexual humour. I've never said anything because I didn't participate in those threads, I'm thinking of the 'consorts' one. But I do here. And I want it to stop.

Rory

Well, I agree with Rory! But I also think that Greg is honest when he says: "I used the example to outline that marriage is not always the answer". Rory, some men all around the world cannot understand what is rape, what is sex discrimination, what is oppression of women through violence etc. It is always good to object strongly in such cases, otherwise nothing will change in this world.

"My view is as vast as the sky, but my actions are finer than flour" ~ Padmasambhava ~

And in some countries a rapist can avoid prison time by marrying their victim. Obviously there are some cases where marriage is not the answer.

''

That is just plain disgusting and not necessary to forward the argument. I've noticed that the men here on some threads indulge in sophomoric sexual humour. I've never said anything because I didn't participate in those threads, I'm thinking of the 'consorts' one. But I do here. And I want it to stop.

Rory

Well, I agree with Rory! But I also think that Greg is honest when he says: "I used the example to outline that marriage is not always the answer". Rory, some men all around the world cannot understand what is rape, what is sex discrimination, what is oppression of women through violence etc. It is always good to object strongly in such cases, otherwise nothing will change in this world.

Thank you for a balanced and strong answer. The problem with Rory's response was that it was incorrect, made false assumptions about members here and their motivation based on that incorrect premise, and was overstated and abusive - with little 'pig' icons etc. There is clearly anger which Buddhism can certainly help with. I wish her well with that. _/\_

I'm subscribing Blue Garuda's words here.Rory, calm down, friend. Nobody is trying to harm you. Perhaps Greg's metaphor wasn't the best, but his intention wasn't ill. That seems obvious to everyone. People are not out to get you, you know?

Jikan wrote:If you look at it historically & globally, it's true that women have been overwhelmingly on the receiving end of such abuse. Rory may have overstated matters when she claims it happens only to women, but her point is generally correct.

Dear Jikan... you forget all the little boys. Not to mention all the victims of sexual trafficking. There is no gender discrimination there.

Rape occurs to men and women, boys and girls, children and infants, and even the male & female elderly. Rape is about power expressed through sexualized anger. It can happen to anyone. Forced marriage occurs for both men and women, boys and girls as well. So there isn't so much use or benefit in pointing fingers so much as simply acknowledging that suffering transcends gender and violence happens because of minds steeped in ignorance. I'm a woman too. And I've survived rape.

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy