I like pottery – and I very much wish I had more uses for pottery. But, alas, I have two cats and if I put anything in a vase or bowl, they are all over it. So I’d really only be able to use them to store cat toys – and then I don’t think the container would last very long.

But I can dream of having a use for this:

Or this:

Or this little cutie:

So adorable!

I really enjoy her sense of whimsy without coming across as tacky. It’s a fine line to walk, and she’s mastered the strut!

My fifth and final top five strength is Harmony. This was the most difficult for me to self-identify.

People who are especially talented in the Harmony theme look for consensus. They don’t enjoy conflict, rather, they seek areas of agreement.

The part that throws me off is constant mention of being a peace maker. I have never seen myself as such, nor have others mentioned this as a particular strength of mine.

However, the following points are very true to me:

you do not enjoy conflict

you may wait to ask before sharing your knowledge

look for the practical side of things – it is the starting point of agreement.

The practical is especially important to me. I find it is the quickest way to solve a problem. of course, solving problems is generally what leads to conflicts – people are usually very attached to their way of solving it and unwilling to consider other points of view. By bringing people back to the issue and the practical considerations, the problems usually just get solved faster – and then we can all go about our business again.

People who are especially talented in the Responsibility theme take psychological ownership of what they say they will do. They are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I also very much identified with this theme. What stands out to me is the idea of taking “psychological ownership”. This is certainly something I do – sometimes to the detriment of my mental well-bring. I take ownership of things that are often outside of my control, and then feel horribly when anything goes wrong. This is, of course, as weakness as well as a strength if not kept in control of rational thought.

The other weakness that this leaves me susceptible to is taking on too much. I have had to learn how to say no more as I get older – less I take on more than anyone can reasonably handle and then berate myself when I cannot do everything I’ve promised.

The other item to focus on is how this ties into values. Because I understand the responsibility for every action I take, I highly value ethical behavior in myself and others. I find it difficult to work for companies who espouse values or motivations that I disagree with, and I find it even more difficult to be around people who have behaved unethically. Of course, intent is a huge part of this and I am much more willing to forgive mistakes and misunderstanding. But if I feel someone is intentionally malicious, or careless when care was obviously needed, it is difficult for me to look the other way.

The list of action items yield two worthwhile bits of advice.

First is to remind people in a supervisory position that I can be trusted to finish a project and do not need constant check-ins. I am not sure how realistic this might be, but I do now that the fastest way to de-motivate me is to make me feel as though I am either not trusted or that I am not unique. To constantly check in is to make me feel not trusted. To have one-size-fits-all checklists or performance matrices gives me the impression that each worker is only a cog or trained monkey, simply meant to perform trained actions without bringing any thought or creativity to their work.

However, goal setting, using clearly defined goals, is something that I am good at and can be very useful is motivating me and moving me forward.

While I can see this, I had initial doubts. Quite frankly, I can be rather unsympathetic at times. I thought I might need to refresh my mind on the difference between sympathy and empathy.

Sympathy emphasizes sharing distressing feelings whereas empathy does not emphasize any particular type of feeling. The listener using empathy shares (experiences) whatever feelings the talker is expressing at the moment, regardless of whether the feelings are distressing (grief, for example) or pleasant (love, for example).

Sympathy may also involve agreeing with some aspects of the other person’s feelings, beliefs, etc. whereas empathy emphasizes understanding all of them with no interest in either agreeing or disagreeing.

The person using empathy tunes into the entire inner world of the other person whereas the person using sympathy typically tunes into only those aspects with which he agrees.

The listener using empathy usually responds more comprehensively to the talker as compared with the listener using sympathy.

This was particularly helpful as it clarified what I suspected. It seems (in a simplified form of course) that sympathy involves self-identification with the feelings of others. While I can very often understand where someone is coming from, I certainly do not always agree with them. This seems to be much more in line with empathy than sympathy.

My tendency to look for the context of a situation goes hand in hand with this strength. I want to fully understand a situation, which is done best by looking at the history and motivations of those involved. By looking at the behavior of the key players, you can usually understand their motivations and, in doing so, gain valuable insight as to how they will react to a new situation.

One item that stood out to me in the description was:

By nature, you may prefer to spend time with people who respect and approve of your talents. Perhaps you can sense when individuals belittle your abilities or discount your results […] you may be choosy about the company you keep or the people you call “friend”.

This has been very true for me in the past. Often I seek some sort of outside corroboration since I do have a tendency to be a little over-sensitive at times. However, looking at things in this light, I might spend a little more time exploring these feelings before dismissing them.

One “action item” that stood out to me was “Understanding someone’s emotional state does not mean that you must excuse the behavior.” Certainly valuable insight in both professional and personal realms.

Another item that resonated strongly with me was “witnessing the happiness of others brings you pleasure”. This is very true – especially in the realm of gift-giving. I usually take my time finding a gift I know will provoke a strong positive reaction in the receiver. And then i often cannot wait to give the gift! It makes holidays very difficult for me!