I’ve been thinking of those of you who find the Christmas season to be one of the most difficult times of the year. It is very difficult when you are trying so hard to “undo” painful Christmas memories from a dysfunctional time in your personal life.

When the weather changes and the holiday decorations go up, unbidden, the dark emotions of what you are going through will no doubt fill your memory. Even though you don’t want to think of them…they are just there. You are not alone...There are so many people who are feeling like you do at this very moment. Yes, your pain is real, and there are others who really understand.

But, that too shall pass. Just keep on believing.

Perhaps your Christmas is especially painful for you because you have lost a loved one to the death of a relationship..marriage. Christmas often seems to magnify our losses as we’ve had it drummed into us since childhood that “it’s the most wonderful time of year,” and we become acutely aware of what isn’t so wonderful.

I want to share a few things that have encouraged my heart in this regard.

First, I have entrusted my sad memories to the Lord and asked for mending. He is an expert at mending the broken heart. Yes, it takes time, but He alone can do it. He’s doing it in my life, so I know he can do it in yours.

I found that if I change the message I was sending to my own mind and rehearsed every year in my heart, what I really wanted, I see it come to pass. I know you wanted to someday enjoy the holidays again, so do like I did... practice a new message to yourself: “This is a new year. The past is gone and this is the present. There are so many sweet and wonderful sights and sounds at this time of year. I will let them in and enjoy them. I am loved, and I am wonderful!” You have to believe in yourself if you expect others to believe in you.

While you do that, you will find that you are more relaxed and things, especially minor things won't bother you as much as they did years gone by. You will find that you have an amazing capacity to enjoy your life a bit more...well a lot more.

No one can define you better than you can. Your circumstances do not define you. Remember that. You are wonderfully made and you are blessed. Sometimes it may be difficult to really feel that , but just remember to reprogram your thoughts and you will feel what you say in your mind. Yes, you can do it. You are in control of your happiness. Your circumstance may not look as rosy as you would like, but you can be as happy as the next person. Change your thinking...change your attitude...change your life.