Generalizing Your Way Into Her Panties

Reader JB emailed me with a valuable observation about the effectiveness of using generalizations as a game tactic. He read my post “Dread” where I explain the best ways to train your girlfriend so that you maximize love output and minimize shit test incitement:

Ignore her calls for a week. When you eventually answer and she reads you the riot act, act as if nothing was wrong and accuse her of sabotaging a perfectly good relationship, “just like all the other women in this stupid city. I thought you were different”. Hang up on her angrily.

JB wrote:

When I read this I fucking almost spit up my mouthful of coffee. Funny because it’s true. Have you written anything about the powerful effect generalization has on the female psyche? I have used the ‘you’re just like every other girl in this city’ one and BANG!
No matter who the girl, no matter the age…she stops cold and finds herself waiting for what I’m going to say next.

Good stuff, keep it up.

Yes, it’s true. Throwing a generalization in the face of a girl you are gaming by accusing her of being “just like all the rest” is a powerful qualification tactic. It will send her into paroxysms of indignation and self-doubt as she works hard to regain your approval.

Maxim #33: NO girl wants to be thought she isn’t a special little snowflake.

Use this thermal exhaust port of female psychology to your advantage. But be careful how you deploy the generalization bomb — its mindfuck megatonnage can blow up chicks’ heads like scanners. There are two ways to laser-guide a generalization straight into the beaver bunker.

Exasperation. See the example above. Can be useful in pickup as well as relationship management — for instance, after she’s started acting up and attempted to find your soft underbelly. In pickup parlance, this would be during the M2F attraction phase. Watch as she spins her wheels trying to prove her uniqueness.

Reverse psychology. Right before you run a routine with her, like palm reading or astrological compatibility, tell her she’s probably like all the other girls in [insert city] and wouldn’t appreciate the deep and profound knowledge you are about to drop on her. If she says “What do you mean I’m like all the rest?!”, you reply “Tell me I’m wrong.”

I don’t just dispense advice, I explain *why* the advice works, stripping away the mystery and spirituality squid ink with the sandblaster of biomechanics, so you can see for yourself the predictability of the human attraction algorithm.

here is what i think motivates the female will to believe that makeup is effective at hiding flaws from the precision guided instrument of men’s visual intake port:

the fear of the immutable.

if you’ll notice, women are the most outraged by the idea of evolutionary psychology and unchangeable genetic fate. that physical beauty should be so unalterable and at the same time so critical to a woman’s prospects for snagging an alpha male of her own sends shivers down her spine. if true, it means they cannot do much to improve their value on the open market. no educational attainment, no carreer success, no makeup, no exercise [to a point], no hob nobbing with the right people — nothing much matters but for the face they were given when mommy’s egg was fertilized by daddy’s swimmers.

yet, this is precisely how the sexual market works. and so, as the gears of the pretty lie machine clank and sputter to dispense more of its life-affirming self-delusions, the “social conditioning” brigade strikes out at the descending shroud of hopeless darkness.

Generalizations offend women in a way they do not offend men because they breach the perimeter ego defense and strike right at a woman’s core self-conception — her belief in herself as Princess On A Cloud Carried Aloft By Admiring Suitors. If it’s true that her genes account for nearly all her success or failure with the men she wants, then there isn’t much she can do to improve her chances to fulfill her deepest desires. If it’s true (and it is) that men value beauty above all else, then it is logically inescapable that she is, to an unsettling degree, interchangeable with any women who are at or above her level of physical attractiveness.

Women do not want to confront the unpleasant reality of upwardly immutable female sexual market value. (They can certainly go down in market value by bloating up or suffering a facial disfigurement.) Similarly, they do not want to admit they aren’t special. So they fight against it. They hide behind pretty little platitudes and try to correct your misperceptions to the contrary. Deep in the primitive ancestral part of her reptilian brain she fears, justifiably, that if she isn’t a unique creature in your eyes, you may be likely to leave her if a hotter woman blips your radar. FOR INNATE EVOLUTIONARILY MODULATED REASONS, SHE WANTS TO KNOW YOU SEE MORE IN HER THAN HER BEAUTY. You should leverage this female instinct to your benefit.

“So what else do you have going for you besides your beauty?”

If you are the one special suitor who wrings her princess cloud dry and sends her plummeting to earth with a well-timed generalization that belies her uniqueness, she will suddenly find, in violation of the courtship script she was so used to following, an inexplicable urge to seek *your* approval, and demonstrate for *you* how different she is from other women and how you just *have to* see that.

I should probably throw down a couple of cents since I completely agree with the dread post.

Now, I’m not sure how many of you know this but women who used to be overweight are the easiest targets in the world to use the dread technique on.

Their innate insecurities about their weight/looks almost makes the job theirs rather than yours.

Example: I had a friend in high school who was consistently 20 pounds overweight. I left for college and came back a summer or two ago and she had managed to lose those pounds and went from a 5 to at least a 7.

Her mentality did not change though. Conversations with her showed that she still thought of herself as lower on the scale.

Dating someone who was a formerly overweight lends itself to dread on their part.

Note: Sometimes her questioning why you’re with her will seem like shit tests. Wrong! Mostly it’s just her airing out her personal insecurities. Ignore it. Move on. She already thinks you’re too good for her so don’t worry about it too much.

To reiterate: A woman like that will question everything for you. At most gentle teasing will help your case things along the lines of:

Her: I don’t understand why you’re with me, I’m just so fat and ugly.

You: It’s true, you are. Maybe I need some to another girl on the side.

In my experience that line drives her straight into your arms, gets you laid, and sometimes gets her to cook an awesome meal for you.

A man who states, “you are just like all the rest” reveals that he is a high volume suitor; he’s thrashed through many women and leaves little reason to invest in him. The ego-intact woman will move on, preferring not to be just another number. If the ego-intact woman is still gathering info on him, she is wise to just ignore the comment; pretending not to hear it. The husband equivalent is “You’re just like my mother.” Ignore it to extinguish it.

……………..and conferring “special” status can be used to strengthen a bond.
To a husband, “your moral compass is unique among your peers.” Or, “you have the most muscley legs I’ve ever touched.”

What we have hear is yet another example of Roissy advice that might work but might also go disastrously wrong. Trying a generalization on a girl might indeed lead her to prove it’s wrong. It might also anger her to the point that she’ll dump you and take up with another man.

I was pondering something similar just the other day, noticing the herds of girls with carefully modulated near-uniforms and the smaller groups of their male counterparts with absolutely unconsidered blandware. It was clear that (unlike most of the men) the womenfolk cared deeply about what they wore and how they looked, but also that they were nearly identical.

It came to mind almost instantly that it’s women who say, meaning as insult or joke, that men are “all alike,” quickly followed by the thought that men either ignore the attempted jab or nod in agreement, perhaps thinking, “you just keep telling yourself that, OK? Makes my job easier.” But rarely if ever to the lads get insulted by it in any way. It just doesn’t matter.

Is it because we’re fine with being alike? Is it because we know we aren’t? You can’t insult me with untruth: it’s meaningless and carries no sting. Since it has no application to myself, I returned to the rest of the problem, namely, why is it such a popular (attempted) insult?

In other words, get lots of compliance from the girl at all stages of the interaction including when she’s your girlfriend. I have her bring me stuff, anything from avocados to poetry and I feel like this sort of stuff keeps her mind on me.

Most women hate any systematic explanations of human behaviour, particularly things like evolutionary psychology . . . or game. They loathe the idea that their or anyone else’s, behaviours are subject to generalizing laws. Women’s instinct in the face of these things is to “problematize.” Even people as incredibly smart and hardheaded as Clio or Eve Tushnet are incredibly suspicious of Darwinian explanations for human behaviour. And of course there always is an interesting exception or two to lend an aura of plausibility to these post-modern meanderings.

What is shocking is how when a pick up goes down, how often it goes down textbook. It’s crazy how, after getting attraction with my opening story, the first question a woman, no matter how apparently different from the last one, will ask me is exactly the same, usually word for word, every freakin’ time.

It feels somewhat wrong using the “you’re probably like the rest of the girls here” line on 16 year-olds, but it works the best on females who are the most anxious about proving they’re badder than the other bitches out there.

It’s best if there’s some group who people will confuse her with, but who she detests. Lots of indie rock and scene girls would go into nuclear meltdown if you suggested they were like the other indie rock and scene girls. Telling fashionistas that they look like yuppies (playfully), etc.

I read that the best compliment you could pay to a woman was telling her that she was unique, but only to use that one sparingly (and as a good way to avoid reciprocating an, “I love you.”). If it’s the inverse of what you’re talking about, that makes a lot of sense.

Through history and in almost all great art, he and she are distinct, and their difference is fundamental in a way that class differences, ethnic differences, maybe even differences of belief are not. And yet every attempt to codify sexual difference fails. People (mostly men) keep making these lists to explain what distinguishes men and women: Women are more practical, or more fickle, or more romantic or less; they’re more nurturing or more petty or more gentle, more selfless or more selfish. These lists aren’t just false, they’re also boring. What good is an understanding of womanhood that would leave out Shakespeare’s Cleopatra, or Molly Bloom?

I think I just got a case of whiplash. I would paraphrase this as, “Yes, yes, male and female are fundamental categories (the Church says so), but, god no, we can’t use statistical differences to explain anything and thus help us make better moral and prudential judgements on homosexuality, male-female interactions etc. That wouldn’t take into account each special little individual.”

I’d phrase it a bit differently – every woman is a secret Copernican, certain deep down inside that she’s the sun around which her personal universe revolves.

Question that initially, and it may work to your advantage. Question it in the context of a relationship, and watch the fireworks begin. And by fireworks, I mean the kind that leave you in the emergency room on July 4th with a stump where your hand used to be.

It might also anger her to the point that she’ll dump you and take up with another man. Who wants to take that risk?

That’s precisely the difference between an alpha and a beta.
Once you realize that beautiful, smart and loving women are abundant, you drop that attitude.

Reality check: “beautiful, smart and loving women” are NOT abundant unless you already are an Alpha. If this weren’t the case bars and nightclubs wouldn’t be sausage parties and online dating sites wouldn’t be overwhelmed with men.

Following Roissy’s advice would make sense if you’re an Alpha. But for men who aren’t, which I suspect includes most of his audience, the advice could very well blow up in their faces.

Of course, men often have the opposite problem. They tend to create overly crude categories and then treat them as platonic and immutable. Even someone as smart as Larry Auster often falls into this trap. Imagine how frustrating it must be for women to encounter this tendency in less sophisticated form.

“every woman is a secret Copernican, certain deep down inside that she’s the sun around which her personal universe revolves. ” Maybe that’s because every woman is a saleswoman, with a single product to sell: herself. Or, if you prefer, two products: her appearance and her personality. How well she does at this sales job determines 80% of her future.

If you were a salesman with only two products to sell, and your entire income depended on how well you did it, wouldn’t you be pretty obsessed with those products?

anony valiantly but fruitlessly attempted a table turning:A man who states, “you are just like all the rest” reveals that he is a high volume suitor; he’s thrashed through many women and leaves little reason to invest in him. The ego-intact woman will move on, preferring not to be just another number.

as usual anony, you get it ass backwards. women, especially “ego-intact” women, love men who are successful with other women. she will protest, but that is all bark no bite. she will in fact NOT move on from him but move closer to him. she secretly is drawn in the hollows of her vagina to the man who has bedded lots of women. there is no better demonstration of his mating value.

thursday:They tend to create overly crude categories and then treat them as platonic and immutable.

that is true. that’s why i advise men to hone their listening skills. they do themselves a huge favor to act as if she is a special little snowflake. then, if she passes his exacting standards and he falls in love with her, her uniqueness to him will be genuine.

Seeing as this thread is slow anyway, I’ll go ahead attempt a threadjack that is somewhat related to the topic at hand.

So I recently got hooked on this site primarily because I like to listen to peoples’ perspectives on gender issues.

Now I’ve used a couple pickup routines mentioned around this blog, but the neg thing was new to me and sounded a bit far fetched despite the psychological backing. When opportunity arose, I thought I’d take it for a spin.

case 1:
Hanging out with 8 and 8 1/2 female friends we’re at a bar. Coctail waitress shows up and I get her attention. I had heard earlier in the week that they had recriuted impressive new talent. She was but an 8. I know, but I live in small town America. Still woth the practice. I open with, ‘I heard there were some hot new waitresses in here and I I know everyone except you. Is there someone else that got hired?’

case 2:
Same place another day. Some chick I’d talked to a week before had introduced me to some friends of hers and when I walked in I heard one of them call my name. I was in company of a couple 8s and some of my friends. I approach them. She quickly brings up our previous meeting where I’d told them I was cirtain not to remember their names and added it was ok if I didn’t. I hadn’t said anything yet. Small talk a little. One of them comments on a flashing thingamajig on her friend’s cleavage reavealling a nice pair of Cs. “Isn’t it cute”, she says. I reply, “It screams attention whore”

Analyze, criticise, advise and give feeback. I’ll post the turn of events after I write a few lines of code.

The corollary to telling women that “you are all the same” is to tell them you are a “paradox” or “enigma” or “onion” or “Rubik’s Cube” or some other adjective/noun that indicates that the woman is multi-layered or complex.

This works on two levels: Women appreciate feeling like they’re substantive, mysterious, multifaceted, unpredictable, and unique AND they love that the man is noticing these features about them.

Both were applied playfully with a smile and eyes fixed on her; trying to read the body language. Well, the other with my eyes focussed on boobage and smiling up at the end of delivery. The two had opposing results.

the negs you used are more insulting than playful. they could work on very hot chicks, but for 6s to 8s you might come across sounding like a nasty jerk. remember, the neg is a backhanded compliment. you left out the compliment part. for instance, in case 2, after she said “isn’t it cute?” i would have replied “yes, it is. my grandma got one last week.”

she will in fact NOT move on from him but move closer to him. she secretly is drawn in the hollows of her vagina to the man who has bedded lots of women. there is no better demonstration of his mating value.

Oh, please!! I cannot believe how stupid you are roissy. As Osho says, it’s hard to find a less intelligent person than a scholar.

Then, my friend, you will be in the driver’s seat. Zoom zoom.

You’ll be in the drivers seat of a Yugo, acting like it’s a Rolls Royce, but it’s better than a tricycle. Guess I’m a hard to impress little bitch.

Agreed with Roissy on #28. If I HAD to hazard a guess, I’d guess that case 1 had a better chance at working because the insult was so over the top that she may have realized that it HAD to be a joke. Case 2 sounds like it is much easier to mistake for a genuine insult.

On a side note, the first episode of Season 2 of the Pickup Artist is already up on VH1.com early. I have trouble believing that people as corny as these contestants really exist! It HAS to be an exaggeration.

17 – Following Roissy’s advice would make sense if you’re an Alpha. But for men who aren’t, which I suspect includes most of his audience, the advice could very well blow up in their faces.

Au contraire. It’s advice for betas.

An alpha doesn’t need that advice. This is simply what alphas do. Most of them don’t reflect upon these things (interestingly, it was somebody else who pointed it out to Roissy).

The reason you are wrong is that a) an alpha move works regardless of your actual status and b) by implementing alpha moves into your behavioral repertoire you gradually become (closer to being) an alpha.

a) Any beta can experience the power of game by throwing a good neg at a girl or using any other technique described on mASF and there like.

Social status is not carved into stone. It is conveyed by behavior. The upshot is that by using the correct behavior it seems like you have that social status.

If – and I think that is what you are referring to – she “doesn’t buy it”, because she’s already convinced you’re not and alpha she might leave you indeed. But sooner or later she would have left you anyway!

It’s inherent in what you say. The best women are unattainable for the beta. If a beta happens to get one it won’t last. He knows it. And him following his panicking instinct to be nice will not increase his chances. It will do the exact opposite. It will cement his beta status. The ass kissing will turn her off eventually, and just make it easier for the next alpha to snatch his girl.

b) The girl does not know that her beta boyfriend starting to behave like an alpha is due to him following Roissy’s advice. All she has to go by is her instincts, which tell her: “Possible alpha guy! Get his sperm!” At the very least she will get insecure about seeing him as a beta. She will be less willing to let go if she is unsure whether he might not be the kind of guy whose sperm is sure to spread with minimal investment.

30 – As Osho says, it’s hard to find a less intelligent person than a scholar.

Yeah. This guy must know something about spotting stupid people.

“According to highly credible published reports, Rajneesh allowed middle aged men to have sexual intercourse with prepubescent girls at the commune in the name of sexual freedom, yet his disciples were not allowed to have a mind of their own and had to totally surrender to the great Bhagwan’s will.
…
After Rajneesh started having sexual intercourse on a regular basis, the spiritual need for him to “feel the chakras” of his female disciples mysteriously vanished. Rajneesh rationalized having sex with his female disciples by claiming that the act would bless them so much that they would become enlightened in some future lifetime.
…
One of the groups Rajneesh sold to students was the “Tantra” group, which was basically just male and female disciples having sex with each other. U.G. Krishnamurti publicly called Rajneesh the “worlds biggest pimp”… “
(http://home.att.net/~meditation/Osho.html)

And I understand that the mere fact that he had so many women makes you attracted to him to this very day.

Using a risky technique like this “generalizing” example makes sense only if the man can be reasonably confident that he can find another woman if the technique falls flat and the woman dumps him. If he cannot reasonably have that confidence, for example if he’s in an area with a big surplus of single men, it’s very unwise for him to take such risks.

Sara / Anony — social proof is definitive. That is why the old saw of divide a man’s claimed sex partners by three and multiply a woman’s claimed sex partners by 3. That episode on Seinfeld where George used the picture of Man-hands to claim she was his girlfriend — and it worked! Got him beautiful women? Even though he was … George?

Brilliant. Because it is true. Heck women have written columns about how they pretend flirted with male friends in bars, then left, and women were all over the guys the second they left.

I have seen this work, time and time again. Women LOVE to compete with each other to nab a true Alpha male — it’s why Celebs known to be married have no problem picking up women.

This is of course not iron clad, there are exceptions, but works for most women most of the time. That’s “good enough” for most men. Who see this effect EVERY DAY and know it to be broadly true.

sara cried out for the redemption that can only be found in my massive member stuffing her face:Oh, please!! I cannot believe how stupid you are roissy. As Osho says, it’s hard to find a less intelligent person than a scholar.

but i understand if you can’t help it. thinking of me as you craft your comments on my blog naturally leads to painfully pleasurable thoughts of balling your fist and driving it in to the hilt.

anony begged for another lovingly administered roissy whipping:Allow me to show you the right side of that table:

“like all the rest”= high volume = low quality = he’s damaged goods

when you assume you make an ass out of you and you.

you are wrong, anyhow. a girl won’t automatically assume he sleeps with low quality women just because he says she is “like all the rest” as a qualification tactic.
if anything, proof that his past conquests were all low quality women would make the tactic even more effective, as she would then feel self-conscious about being lumped in with dregs.

Impress her with the *quality* of prior women, not the quantity.

don’t be an even bigger imbecile than you already are, anony. shall he bring a photo album along on the date to prove the quality of his past bangs?
when leaving a subtle impression of mate value with women, the less said the better. if the guy’s game is tight, she’ll fill in the blanks in such a way that his value is confirmed.

Make her wonder, “if he dated ***HER**** then what does he see in me?”

simply dropping the hint that he “dates around” and acting in a way that suggests he *is* dating around, is enough to make a girl raise his value in her mind.

I’ll have to agree that using generalization is risky behavior only if you are beta. Part of being an alpha stems from being confident enough that there’s another one in the stack to pop out.

As for how my two cases played out:

For clarification and perspective, I supoose, Case 1 was 21 yr old, case 2 late 20s

Case 1:
She went into instant shock ; handed me my beer briskly walking away before I had time for a follow up statement. I believe conditions might have played against me on this one because she had an easy escape. The place was so busy I never got a chance to deploy phase two and recover.

Case 2:
The friends laughed and one of them commented that they had never heard that one before. This struck up a conversation which led me to finding out out that the flashing item was called cleavage-something. Talked to her a while and returned to my table. This turned out well and had I and the group not had intentions of going hunting somewhere else, this would have been a done deal.

Did age play any role in this? I am convinced I would have recovered from case 1, what’s your take?

34 yet his disciples were not allowed to have a mind of their own and had to totally surrender to the great Bhagwan’s will.

This is interesting, but 100% bullshit. Carry on!

37 roissy Thinking of me as you craft your comments on my blog

Please, roissy, there is nothing crafty about my comments, and I think fisting requires a large gaping vagina. Doesn’t apply here. Neither does my mouth open that wide, which is why I don’t eat sushi. In other words, I have a big mouth, but don’t have a big mouth, though I do adore cock sucking but have given up on the combination of my mouth and yours or anyone’s cock for the time being. Yes, I know this is a loss for humanity.

35 – Peter: … only if the man can be reasonably confident that he can find another woman … [otherwise] the technique falls flat and the woman dumps him.

What I am saying is: If he is not confident he can find another woman he will lose her regardless of what happens. No woman wants to stay with an insecure pussy guy who is constantly afraid of losing her. Yes, she wants to be treated nice – because the guy who could have other women chose her and cares for her, and not because of the guy being afraid he will live celibate for the rest of his life if she turns his back on him.

If he cannot reasonably have that confidence, for example if he’s in an area with a big surplus of single men, it’s very unwise for him to take such risks.

It is the other way round. It would be very unwise of him to get one-itis, and wipe her ass just so she wouldn’t leave him. That’s a surefire way to lose her attraction.

Women 101:
Being “nice” to her -> vagina dries
Being “mean” to her -> vagina moistens
Mixing nice and mean -> climax

anony flailed:“quality” as defined by how your intended would define, not your definition.

by that subjective measure there can be no such thing as a “quality woman” since all women would have their own opinions on the matter.
but of course, this isn’t the case. female beauty is indeed objectively measurable, and can be easily observed by the agreement among men *and* women who are the hot chicks.

Also, you correctly stated that being lumped in with the dregs would make a woman “self-conscious” and want to bolt.

way to misrepresent, misrepresentation girl.
i never said that she would “want to bolt”. you added that part yourself.
lying fuck.
no, in the context of my post and followup comment to you, what i said was the qualification tactic of generalizing her to be like all the rest would be more effective if she felt self-conscious about being lumped in with dregs.
for a simple mind such as yours, that means she would work even harder to prove she *wasn’t* like all the rest, thus falling right into the man’s sticky web of game.

Sara — Did you not read? That Yao Ming is very tall, and Vern Troyer very short, does not negate the statement that on average, American men are significantly taller than Chinese men.

Your statement shows the problem women have with the statistical — too much feeling and individual emphasis, not on the “average.”

The proper way to attack the argument is to cite statistical evidence that on average, women do not like to compete for the Alpha. By citing counter-examples of popular entertainment depicting it, various studies, etc. FWIW, I have never seen a woman argue this way. EVER. Though there are a few mathematical female geniuses (Ada Lovelace, Admiral Grace Hopper, Florence Nightengale — yes HER*, Marie Curie) most women have zilch interest in Math, much less statistical concepts.

If something is generally true, and works for men, they will use it.

* Florence Nightengale’s significant contribution, one she is largely forgotten about today, was not selfless caring in the Crimea, but rather reforming health care practices in field hospitals. Doctors did not like to wash hands and change bedding, bandages for clean ones. Survivable wounds got infected and losses were massive. Nightengale produced an easily understood polar pie-chart showing deaths each weak, before and after hand-washing and bandage/bedding changes were instituted, in presentations to Parliament. Causing a public outcry and reform mandating same.

Nightengale however remains an outlier among women. Like Yao Ming among Chinese.

This post is so true. Im an “alpha”. I didnt really know that fact until I started reading this blog and other similar ones a couple years ago. everything I do works… I can get away with saying ANYTHING to a girl and they like me for it. Not me or anything…but borderline obnoxious and clearly not caring what other people think. My friends are in awe/jealous. Its not conscious…I dont even think about. I just be myself. In hindsight, I’ve always just stumbled into pussy…it comes to me. There is little conscious effort or and certainly no strategizing or game involved.

More to the point of this post, a girl Im currently seeing actually generalized herself. On a recent date at her condo with her I was teasing her about her copies of US Weekly & People magazine in her apartment saying “Hahaha girls love that crap”. Her immediate response, putting her hands on her hips: “I guess Im no different than all those other girls you’ve been with!”. I just laughed, amused, and said “Your adorable…”. Moved toward her, pulled her close, gave her a long kiss, squeezed her ass a little and replied (grinning) “Of course not sweetheart, you’ve got a nice caboose”. Using the word caboose instead of ass made the comment comical (in a 1950’s, Mad Men kind of way) instead of crude. She laughed…we made out a little more…then she changed the subject, beaming and happy as little girl.

Thursday – thanks for #20, which is a nice concession. Many men do take this tendency a little too far. I think that’s probably what Eve meant. In fairness to Eve, too, as a Catholic, and esp. because she’s a Catholic convert, she is trying to practise the virtue of “love thy neighbour”, which includes acknowledging that all people are unique and special in God’s eyes.

BTW, you’re mistaken to say that I resist generalizations. For heaven’s sake, I wrote that series of “heartbreakers” posts, which is entirely built around generalizations. I just happen to have resisted one particular generalization you (and others) made about women and their narcissism which I found wrong-headed and based on assumption rather than research.

Sqits #25: Your first case wouldn’t have worked with me because it’s too overtly insulting. I’d think, “oh, hostile”, and I’d walk away. No doubt some spoilt prom queen might not, but many women would. Your case 2 would work on me because it’s a moral criticism, and I’d feel I had to defend myself.

One thing which the men here don’t consciously recognise as a way to catch women’s attention, and it’s a pity because it’s very effective, is the guilt trip “neg”, rather like Sqits’s case 2 though there are many variations. You absolutely must NOT guilt-trip her about her behaviour to you, because you’ll sound self-pitying, which is death to sexual attraction. But if you know how to make a woman feel guilty by hinting that she is rude to waiters, or mean to your mother, or lazy about her housekeeping, or spendthrift – she’ll work extra-hard to please you.

A secret of female psychology that was often used very effectively against me. The advantage is that this kind of thing sounds less purely hostile than an insult about one’s appearance – especially if you know how to deliver this kind of criticism in a “more in sorrow than in anger” tone.

I am betraying my sex here, but that seems preferable to encouraging some of the awful alternative strategies you boys attempt. I am sincerely interested in bettering the relations between men and women – and telling you this proves it!

I am betraying my sex here, but that seems preferable to encouraging some of the awful alternative strategies you boys attempt. I am sincerely interested in bettering the relations between men and women – and telling you this proves it!

The proper way to attack the argument is to cite statistical evidence that on average, women do not like to compete for the Alpha. By citing counter-examples of popular entertainment depicting it, various studies, etc. FWIW, I have never seen a woman argue this way. EVER. Though there are a few mathematical female geniuses (Ada Lovelace, Admiral Grace Hopper, Florence Nightengale — yes HER*, Marie Curie) most women have zilch interest in Math, much less statistical concepts.

I’ll have you know that I received a 3.8 GPA in college and a 4.0 in calculus. I just don’t have time for being all scholarly and such. An attack on an argument does not need to turn into a battle of numbers from The Bureau of Meaningless Statistics. That is strictly for those who care. I do not fall into that statistical category. Further it is I (the fabulous I) that does not compete for Alpha’s. I could not care less really what other women choose to do. As an individual, it doesn’t effect me. I am not a herd animal.

So? What if? If she can leave you, she did not think you were special enough to stay with… And some other dude was there before the moon had one turn… Is he special? Is she special?

Having met 2-3 women in their life who treat them well, compared to the hundreds that shot them down, or ignored them, these 2-3 women immediately attain the “special” value, because they are available.

Now, these 2-3 women will have had their long string of alpha’s before meeting 7Peter, and due to some chance, or some timing will be ready for the

Guy for whom they will be the one special woman, instead of the special guy for whom they will be one in many.

11 thursday

What you mention, the rational explanation of evolutionary psychology, especially in relation to sex, make women have earthquakes in their most used excuse “It just happened”.. and “There is something about him”….

It makes them see that they can be toyed around, maybe even worse than the guys they toyed with..

as they know their own game power, knowing someone other then them has a working system to get what he wants, freaks them out…

Oh, and thinking that “It just happened” was just a series of well calculated moves executed at preplanned times, that is a blow…..

I’ve noticed this. Men seem to exult in evo-psych explanations of behaviour, and seem equally to welcome, even wallow in, neurological/reductionist hormone-driven models of masculine thought, motivation and action. Women hatehatehate having their moods described as menstruation-derived, hate being told that estrogen is determining what they’re thinking and feeling. Men…we LOVE being told that testosterone is running us.

Woman: You are clearly suffering from a case of testosterone poisoning.

Man: All right! Oh yeah! I’m baaaaad.

In the end, it may be as simple as the fact that test makes you feel invulnerable and estrogen makes you feel the opposite. Even women, when given small doses of T, report considerable elevation of mood. It may be that evo-psych just hasn’t been particularly kind to women, burdening them with all sorts of, well, burdens.

Women hatehatehate having their moods described as menstruation-derived, hate being told that estrogen is determining what they’re thinking and feeling. Men…we LOVE being told that testosterone is running us.

Does that mean I’m a man for loving biological and neurochemical explanations of behavior? Recognition of menstruation and hormone-derived moods helps conscious mood regulation.

But if you know how to make a woman feel guilty

Ah, yes, the guilt trip. Did you know that it is equally effective on men and women? Sorrow-filled eyes will get a woman more sympathy from her man than nagging ever will.

Well, being thought of as full of testosterone is seen as a benefit (he’s aggressive!), while being thought of as full of estrogen is relegated to (she’s crazy!). So no. It’s not seen as a compliment, or treated as one.

Hope 60: Does that mean I’m a man for loving biological and neurochemical explanations of behavior? Recognition of menstruation and hormone-derived moods helps conscious mood regulation.

No. 🙂

And you’re right about how recognizing the way hormones affect mood helps improve conscious control of mood. Women who resist hormonal explanations (who hate being referred to as “moody” at all) would do well to take your perspective, Hope.

*******
What is shocking is how when a pick up goes down, how often it goes down textbook. It’s crazy how, after getting attraction with my opening story, the first question a woman, no matter how apparently different from the last one, will ask me is exactly the same, usually word for word, every freakin’ time.
********
It’s called TV.

Hate to admit it, but there is actually a needle of insight buried in the haystack of ignorance that is anony’s original comment.

You can’t drop the “you’re just like all the rest” line with too much bitterness. Remember, not only have you been with many women, but your experiences with them have been overwhelmingly POSITIVE. Bitter = history of failure = beta.

As to the idea that women prefer chaste men to lotharios, consider the prominence of “super-sweet girl gets unrepentant manslut to finally settle down” as a theme in romantic comedies.