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I am the Weaselmomma, raising 5 children (Weasels) and 1 husband in a wacky Weasel World. I write, in order to maintain some small degree of of sanity, about anything that happens to be on my mind. Come along for the ride and we'll laugh the days away.
What's a weasel anyway?

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

In the family of my birth, we can obviously laugh at some pretty strange things. Things that make outsiders cringe. Things that people don't always understand or get. Things that bystanders can't believe we just did or said. Inappropriate is a way of life. In that spirit, I want you to laugh at this post and admit that it would make great National Lampoon fodder.

Like the time my mother had just returned from vacation, sporting a new ring of Rubies, Sapphires and Diamonds, while visiting my sister. My sister asked "Whatcha got there?". Mom responded by covering the ring with her other hand and chuckling "Nothing, what are you talking about?". Sister dear counted with "You know, that ring that I am going to have to pry off your cold dead finger." Mom laughed - hard. My sister's MIL (an innocent bystander) almost chocked in shock that such a thing would be said. A few years later that's exactly what my sister had to do and we all laughed ourselves half to death when it happened.

The night before Mom's funeral my siblings and I gathered at my brothers home. We were enjoying being all together (living states apart, this doesn't happen but every few years), reminiscing about childhood and all the memories of old stories from our adventures growing up. We thought it would be nice if we could come up with a great story about Mom to eulogize and share at her funeral. We sat poolside having a few beers and coming up with stories to tell. "I got one, I got one" we took turns saying, and as we got closer to the end of the story remembered that it didn't end well or was something that couldn't be shared publicly among Mom's friends who really didn't know us. These stories had us laughing ourselves silly, but would only garner gasps from those assembled in the church.

We came up with at least a hundred different gut busting family stories. Not one of which was appropriate for public consumption. We tried to edit the stories, but they only lost their charm and humor in the process. The bests parts were the worst actions. Even on our way to church to next morning we were still trying to brainstorm. Only to come to the conclusion that none of us would eulogize. We would leave it up to a friend of Mom's who volunteered.

Arriving at the church and being greeted by a friend of Mom's who helped to plan these things, I let her know that none of us would be speaking. "I understand, many times the family is too broken up. I will have (the volunteer) do it". Yeah, let's go with that. So, during the Mass, when the time came the priest announces "I understand that one of the children of the deceased would like to say a few words now".

Crickets.

*Do not make eye contact*

Crickets

*look directly at shoes*

Crickets

*gasps of disbelief from those gathered. 95% of which do not know us*

Crickets

The silence is too much and the 4 of us start to snicker uncontrollably.

*More gasping about what awful children we must be*

Finally the priest moves on with "I guess not. I understand a friend of the deceased would like to share a few words". And she did. She delivered a beautiful and kind eulogy. The kind of eulogy that made us look even worse than we already did.

In the end, Mom gave us one more funny family story that is not fit for public consumption. But heck, it's out there now. And we know that Mom and Dad both were laughing right along with the 4 of us. They get us, even if no one else does.

SideNotes: 1.) I am still working on my Stupid Human Trick since Mrs4444 crushed the idea I was working on with Monkey Weasel. 2.) I want to speak at BlogHer(why? why the heck not) and need to submit a post to speak about for consideration. I don't know which one I want to submit. It's up to you to stalk my archives and vote in my comments.

I think it's wonderful that you all have such great memories together!

At my uncle's funeral, his daughter spoke and said that after the service there would be a meal provided down the hall. Just like her Dad would've wanted, she said we would be having pizza and beer. Then, she went on to say that two of her Dad's friends had to pay at the door, because my he wouldn't be caught dead buying them a beer. Everyone laughed so hard!

Oh please: you're telling Momo to "get you drunk" at BlogHer? When we talked about it at Caribou I wasn't under the impression that you were going to need help in that area. Bwahahahaha! (I'll be there with ya...hee hee)

I loved this story. I think it's hilarious and your family sounds like people I'd have lots of fun with! (but I won't wear jewelry)

even though i love your twistedness, my mom totally doesn't get it. quote: "Why would she name her children weasels? they are gross, sneaky, disgusting animals. i just don't see how a mom could call her kids that." LOLi tried to explain it to her, but i just couldn't come up with the right words. i finally just gave up and said, that's just her, she's twisted and it's funny. leave her alone! lol

oh! i just remembered (well half-way remembered) me and sis and mom snickering at a funeral too. i just can't remember whose it was! lol i'll have to check with sis - she and seashore are my memory vaults :)

I think every family has their own inside jokes; the things no one else would get but that create that special bond between family members. It's ok if everyone else thought your behavior was inappropriate. Like you said, your mom was laughing along with all of you.

I love this post, & we are more alike than you may know. Maybe it's the big family thing, but we would do exactly this (& probably will) when the day comes. I'm grateful to have both my parents, but lost all four grandparents w/in a period of just a few years, & we did the night before--great stories (though my grandparents weren't quite as "inappropriate" as my parents would be to "toast/roast") & we had weepy funeral times for them...not that we won't cry when our parents die, but we'll have a good party. My favorite aunt wants to be propped up in the corner w/ a drink in hand at her own wake. We'll probably do a dance when the stepparents go, but that's another story!!

I have to tread carefully around hubby--he lost his mom at a young age & it's a sacred date in their family--I'm not sure if he'd understand our humor in that particular situation.

I think I would have trouble figuring out what stories not to tell in that situation, there are so many good stories involving my mother, most of which she would be mortified if she were actually there. I wonder if it is in her will that I am NOT to give the eulogy... I feel that if people are able to laugh at my funeral then I led a good life.