A Holiday Gift Guide for the True Crime Obsessed

Morbid, Weird, Disturbing and Curious Gifts for Crime Fans

This holiday season, do you find yourself surrounded by true crime fanatics, with their sunless eyes and notions about the link between JonBenét and 9/11? Do they insist upon bringing up the Macdonald Triad at every dinner party, making it difficult for your more reasonable guests to finish their aspic? If you show up wearing a turtleneck under a blazer, do they greet you with a hearty hail-Ted-Bundy-well-met? And have you absorbed their conspiracy theories and notes on psychopathy so thoroughly that, come midnight, you hear Santa Claus on the roof shouting, “Now, DAHMER! now, DOODLER! now, RIPPER and PICKTON! On, KACZYNSKI! on KEMPER! on, DONNER PARTY and AMY ARCHER-GILLIGAN!”?

Never fear. Getting your macabre friend a gift doesn’t have to feel like being attacked by the Foot Stomper of Nashville. Simply use this list to find a present you can place confidently into their hands as you say, brimming with holiday cheer, “Can we please change the subject?”

__________________________________

Pins, Desk Sets, and Podcasts

__________________________________

Article continues after advertisement

For your angsty teen cousin who doesn’t care what The Man thinks:

A selection of fine enameled pins to wear on her jacket, like the Teddy Bundy (Ted Bundy as teddy bear, complete with fake cast), the Half Clown, All Man (John Wayne Gacy morphing into his terrifyingly “fun” alter-ego, Pogo the Clown), and the Hand to God (Richard Ramirez’s palm with a pentagram drawn on it).

For your brother who listens to so many podcasts that you’ve grown used to phrases like “he then cut out the intestines and draped them over her shoulder” coming out of his room after midnight:

Patreon subscriptions to all of his favorite podcasts, like Casefile, Sword & Scale, and Last Podcast on the Left. A few bucks a month will get him access to tons of bonus content, so he can finally become the man he was meant to be: a Ripperologist.

For the melancholic yet discerning man you used to date who recently mentioned that he’s just moved into a new mansion (and you wouldn’t mind an invitation to come over and drink scotch by one of his three (!) fireplaces sometime):

Tori Telfer writes about serial killers and other outsiders. Her first book, Lady Killers: Deadly Women Throughout History (Harper Perennial), is available now wherever books about creepers are sold. Follow her on Instagram @tori__telfer. She is the proud mother of thirty-two plants.