Wesley So’s Mother Speaks Out

Interview with Leny So, Wesley’s So Mother, by Chessdom – The agreement between the two parties is that the interview would only be published after the start of the final round not to distract Wesley’s play.

“As the shock over the forfeit reverberated at the Chess Club and Scholastic Center of St. Louis, the Minnetonka family that So lives with said it was time to explain publicly what has been behind his poor performance in the event.”

Chessdom.com contacted Wesley’s mother Eleanor So to learn more than just what has been behind his performance in the event.

Chessdom: Thank you for taking your time under stressful circumstance to clarify what took place. In the past 24 hours, you are being accused by a Lotis Key of sabotaging your son Wesley So’s chess career. Is that true?

Leny So: First, let me say that I had not agreed to do any interview so far because I wanted to protect my son. I love him and nothing changed that. But now that my family and I are being smeared by Lotis Key in the media, I have no choice but to set the record straight. I am confident that your readers will understand the whole truth after this.

Please let me start from the beginning. After Millionaire Chess, Lotis Key and her family drove to St Louis to visit my son. She took my son out of school to stay with her for nearly a week in a rented place.

As a student on a chess scholarship, he had obligations with the chess program, even during the winter break. He did not have permission to leave school and ignored his obligations. He lost his chess scholarship.

At the period that Lotis became involved with my son, his behavior changed. He became cold and distant to his friends and family. For the first time, he did not even call or wrote me on my birthday. This is not like him at all.

But the worst came late in January 2015 during Tata Steel Chess, when my husband got into a very serious accident. His life could have ended. But I did not tell Wesley because I did not want to disturb his tournament.

I waited until after the tournament. He did not offer to fly to Toronto to visit his father. He showed very little concern. He instead went with Lotis and her family to Manila. There was a big incident there which I just recently found out but that is for another day. All he could talk about is to take all the money which he asked us to keep for him under his name in Canada and transfer it to Minnesota. I could not freely talk to my son anymore.

My family and I discussed this matter at length and we decided since someone is blocking us access to our own son, we had to try to see him in person to help him.

After many weeks of discussing this in the family, I asked my sister in law to accompany me on the trip to visit Wesley in St. Louis. She is the sister of my husband, and Wesley was also very close to her. This is the only tournament in the near future for Wesley in the US.

We contacted Mr. Paul Truong, former coach of Wesley at Webster University, about the US Championship since it is held in St. Louis. He told us that he did not know the exact details of the US Championship and he has not spoken to Wesley since after Wesley left St. Louis in October.

But he gave us the official link www.uschesschamps.com. We got all the information from that website and booked our trip accordingly.

I also asked that while in St. Louis, can my sister in law and I visit SPICE and Webster University, the place which helped my son went from #98 in the world to the top 10. Mr. Truong graciously said of course, but his time is very limited since 3 of his students are competing in the US Championships and he has to help them.

When we arrived to St. Louis, we met Wesley the night before the Opening Ceremony. He was very happy to see us. The only person who looked not happy was Lotis Key. She was visibly upset when she saw me and my sister in-law.

Here are some important facts:

Fact 1.

This woman is claiming that I am sabotaging my son. Please think about the logic of this. I am a mother, I have no reason to want to sabotage my son. More importantly, for the entirety of Wesley’s career, I have never done a move that sabotaged or harmed him. On the contrary, I have always helped him pack his bags, arranged his tournaments, do his taxes, etc.

Anyone can judge from a long past record that I have never been a stage mom who interfered with my son’s career. Why would I start sabotaging my son now? There is no motivation for sabotage. There is no past behavior for sabotage. More importantly, there is not even a shred of proof for a supposed sabotage.

While on the contrary, by making this accusation, this woman is implying that she is protecting my son from a ‘sabotage’ from us. Now I have to ask myself: what kind of behavior is this woman manifesting by labeling Wesley’s mere contact with his mother and aunt through visitation a ‘sabotage’? What motivation could this woman have, for being someone he only met in September 2013, to suddenly spend so much of her time by Wesley’s side and being so ‘protective’ of his ‘welfare’? Perhaps further facts below will help explain this.

Fact 2.

Wesley met Lotis Key and her family again after winning first prize and monetary award in the Millionaire’s Chess Competition, and right after, he started actively exhibiting behavior that led to the revocation of his university scholarship and surprising, sudden transfer of residence with Lotis Key’s family in Minnesota.

Specifically, he left school without permission, ignored his contractual obligations with the university chess team, and refused to meet with his coaches to discuss his issues.

During this period, Lotis Key also sent me and my son emails saying that I was ‘emotionally blackmailing’ my son because I encouraged my son to stay in school, or at least discuss his issues with his coaches, friends, or university officials before making a final, life-changing discussion.

She labeled it as an issue of an independent young man who is not allowed to ‘make his own decisions’ for ‘his needs’, who is being ‘crushed’ because we are ‘forcing him to fulfill (our) dreams’.

Let me reiterate that I have never been a stage mom who pushed Wesley to pursue chess. Merely a mom who encouraged him to open a dialogue explaining to us why he wanted to leave a promising education, in a world where a college degree is recognized as necessary. We did not do this in a forceful manner and we have all the emails.

In any case, this argument is moot, as the person supposedly helping Wesley pursue independence accompanies him everywhere, sleeps in his own hotel room, involves herself in the minutiae of his affairs.

Fact 3.

Lotis Key started claiming on several media articles that she was Wesley’s Mother, not mother-in-law, or some kind of invented mother title. Mother! It is already curious that this woman should suddenly be so central to Wesley’s media appearances in the first place.

Yet even Filipino journalists who knew Wesley’s real parents started to circulate the false information to the world: Eliseo Tumbaga: “…Wesley’s Mom told the senators that if ever he gets the financial incentives that he expected to get from the Philippine Sports Commission for winning the gold at the Universiade…”

It was mentioned in other places that Lotis’ husband is Wesley’s father.

Various organizers were told that Lotis Key is his Mom. A number of chess players were also told that she is his Mom. Many people were very confused as they knew who I was. I felt that my identity was stolen.

When Wesley went to the Philippine Senate to be personally recognized for his gold medals, this woman did not inform us. Yet she posed in the pictures with the Senate with him in the place of recognition. There was no explanation provided as to what capacity she is serving to deserve his media spotlight. There is no contract that stipulates her as his manager, or any professional capacity.

More concerning, at the U.S. championship, Lotis stayed in the same room with my son, the room which was provided by the organizer, and he was not even allowed to have his own key to his own room.

Fact 4.

Wesley’s aunt, whom he has long held in high regard, and I went to visit him in his US Championship because we were really troubled by the seriousness of the situation. Upon our arrival, Wesley happily met us before the Opening Ceremony and won his first two games.

There was absolutely no issue. For more hard proof, we also attach here pictures showing me, his aunt and Wesley. You can clearly see how happy Wesley was.

After his first game, we invited Wesley to spend a few hours of alone time with me and his aunt. We asked him how he is doing. He said that he missed us. We told him that we care for him and worried about his welfare. We came with an open mind, but all observations, there is something wrong. This is not about school. We understand about him going professional and we support it.

Fact 5.

Clearly after the next day, he changed completely. I asked him after he won in round 2 if we can have 30 minutes with him because we are going home on Saturday.

He said he is busy, and said he sent me an email about bank info in Canada. I was calling him but ignored me. Lotis told him something like he needed to be back to his room, and they walked hurriedly, leaving us behind.

The next day, we were banned from the playing venue by Ms. Joy (St. Louis Chess Club) and Ms. Jean (USCF), as per instructed of Wes.

Fact 6.

For years, Wesley always entrusted his savings with his dad, which were all in Canadian bank, excluding his latest earnings starting winnings in Millionaire’s chess.

On April 7, 2015, I received an email saying, “Give me all my bank information, my savings, and all the investment that you made there.” I simply told him to come to Canada.

I then received 3 emails which are very disturbing. Wesley has never used this kind of language to me before.

What is even more disturbing is the last 2 emails came at the time when Wesley was still playing his games. This clearly shows that Lotis was purposely trying to drive a bigger wedge between my son and I.

“From: GMWSO <gmwso@xxxxxx>

Date: Tue, Apr 7, 2015 at 10:36 PM

Subject: Re: Bank Details in Canada

To: ELEANOR SO <soeleanor23@xxxxxx>

Dear Leny,

You must be f…cking happy that I am losing all my games here in the US Championships. You ruined my tournament and you only care about yourself. I don’t ever want to see you on any of my tournaments again….

PUTANG INA KA TALAGA. I PUT THE BLAME ON YOU FOR RUINING THIS F…CKING TOURNAMENT.

Wesley

From: GMWSO <gmwso@xxxxxx>

Date: Wed, Apr 8, 2015 at 3:03 PM

Subject:

To: ELEANOR SO <soeleanor23@xxxxxx>

You know, F…CK YOU …. for ruining my tournament….PUTANG INA. You are the most worthless mother I know.

From: GMWSO <gmwso@xxxxxxx>

Date: Wed, Apr 8, 2015 at 4:54 PM

Subject:

To: ELEANOR SO <soeleanor23@xxxxxxx>

And you know you better not steal my money in Canada. I don’t care nawalangkwenta kayo ni William namagulang, just give me back ALL my savings. MAGNANAKAW”

Fact 7:

Lotis Key’s argument to separate Wesley from his family is to say that we should respect that Wesley is now 21, he now has a right to be independent, and thus to refuse contact from his family, leave school, and take his money if that is his decision.

We are not arguing that a 21-year-old man should not make his own decisions and be independent. We are very, very worried that someone is making his wrong decisions for him, and putting the words and actions in his mouth for him to claim as his own, like a mouthpiece.

We are strongly concerned because, despite Lotis Key saying that all her actions are for Wesley’s welfare and help him carve out the independence he wants, she sleeps in his own hotel room. She creates and manages his personal website, wesleyso.com, and made him transfer to a new email account hosted by her same host.

She accompanied him to the Netherlands, the Philippines, and Ireland. She took his previous trophies in the Philippines from his previous supporter, who held them for safekeeping, and packed them over to her own house, without telling his family.

Furthermore, she personally told us, when enumerating all the benefits that Wesley got form her, that she has to accompany him 24/7, that she takes care of all his social media—meaning Wesley doesn’t interact personally when messaging in his internet, that she takes care of all his diet, his clothing, and helps him prepare to look like a champion.

Does this look like independence? No.

It is very scary for all of us, especially my husband and I. We see the transformation of our son, a strong independent young man, to now needing someone to comb his hair, dress him, feed him, and a becoming a dependent zombie.

Isolating him from his friends, former coach, and from his own family is very strange. We are at the end of our rope and don’t know how to proceed.

This pattern of what Wesley is facing now is similar to Bobby Fischer in Pasadena. We all know what happened to Bobby Fischer after Pasadena. He was never the same. It scared us even more after what Lotis wrote publicly:

Update: Lotis Key and Wesley So accused Paul of using his credit card to book and paid for a room for his biological Mom and Aunt so they can disturb Wesley. This outrageous accusation is of course completely false. Paul called the hotel and asked the hotel to check their records. Here are the responses from the hotel that there has been no reservation or credit card transaction.

The accusation:

ED ANDAYA: A FATHER’S DAY LETTER TO WESLEY SO

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Just google the name — Lotis Key — and you will find all the elements you need to understand this sordid situation.

It seems that Lotis Key is caught in a very unhealthy lifestyle of —money/celebrity/religion/drama—.

It’s definitely not the person of choice to set up the course of a young person in life. This is not going to end up well …. I am telling you!!

PS: Wesley So says that pictures could be deceiving and that he was pretending to be happy with his birth mother. I never could conceive of anyone lovingly holding hands in a photo with a dislike person!! Wesley, you definitely pretended so well that you did fool me; or did you?.

very sad.. looks like a long held sentiment exploding violently… there must be a genuine reason for this.. not a case of brainwashing in my opinion… looks like someone desperately bolting out of prison for his priceless freedom.

May it as it be – there was a national championship going on, a very important venue for So.
Even if this is all true, I doubt it was the best decision to fight this out at that point.

It could have no other effect than to damage So in this stressfull situation, put even more pressure on him and make it a lot harder to concentrate on the task ahead: playing the game on the highest level.

I really don´t understand why it was so important for the mother to stir things more up, in a time when her son needs a calm, supporting and reassuring enviroment.

She should have been clever enough to say to herself: “Well, it´s just not the right time. Lets discuss this when the championship is over. These are maybe the most important games So is playing the whole year. Better to support him now, even if that means to step back a little. Just hold quiet for a few days, it could harm him otherwise and that will make things much more complicateted. Just support him for now, it is just not the right time.”

Sorry, but with this background I find the behaviour of Mrs So not very thoughtful, emotional driven, tactical unwise, lacking of empathy and the absolutly wrong thing to do at this point in time. I don`t see how she could come to the conclusion, this is what her son needs or wants when he is in a competition like this.

All she said may be right.
But to say it at that point, to insist in this manner – I find it unwise and a little bit egocentric, lacking of empathy and control.
After the tournament there was time enough, there was no pressure to act.

I think there can be no doubt, that if the just had waited, her son would have had a better tournament and would be a lot more accessible to her concerns than he is now.

What is wrong with you dude? Did you read the article? His real Mother had no access to him. When she informed Wesley about his Father’s tragic accident, Lotis hid the news from him so she can take him to the Philippines. When his Mother and other family emailed him, Lotis intercepted all emails and responded back pretending to be him. No one had access to Wesley until the tournament. Investigation is ongoing. Lotis won’t get away with this.

Yes fide or US Chess Federation could do something to avoid further damage to the family. Lotis Key are you a personal manager of GM Wesley So. Yes or No. If no then move out from
our super gm’s life. .

I also want to express my concern about Wesley because i am fan of Wes in chess aside from being a Filipino too like him. I believe most of his Filipino fans would like him to succeed in his career and are also worried about what’s going on with him at this point in his life. Wesley is experiencing culture shock here in the US….its all too different from the Philippines and aside from being young yet, he is vulnerable to exploitation.
While I symphatize with all the concern of Lenny as a mother her presence in the US chess championship was wrong timing.
If Lotis purpose on Wesley’s welfare and supposed management of his chess career is real then she should let him at least visit his immediate family or allow them to be with him on some vacant time that he may have. She should be open to investigation if her purpose is genuine. Please don’t use God’s name and or religion to drive a point or emphasize a plan.
If investigation of Lotis Key comes out as an honest to goodness intent/management then Lenny should stop bothering Wesley and Key…..
As we throw our comment it looks like we are trying to make the issue worst…..hope it doesn’t disturb So. I hope Wes would get over this soonest.

I think this posting should be taken off this site now and give peace to Wesley. If there is a purpose for this, it should have served it already considering that it has been here for a long time. This is strictly a family matter that they alone can resolve.

This is a very sad story. It is not right to make strong conclusions. But I have the impression, his mom was a hen for him, and he got angry over this. Until here, its still a normal story, right? But the money issue caused a damage in their relationship that can hardly be repaired anymore. Altough much is speculation, let me say this. A son who wants his money transferred to his own bank account from his parents must be respectful and never call his mother bad words. If all talks, attempts to achieve the transferral, failed, he can use legal support, but only then.

After this incident, GM Wesley So has never been the same, he lost many of his games. and lately dropped from the top ten. The Bible says honor your mother and father, and you will be rewarded even with long life. I admired Wesley chess IQ but with regards to his dealings with his parents it’s very disgusting to note. He can’t be on this status in his career if not with his parents, who nurtured him since day one when he came out from her womb. Someday when he becomes paranoid nobody will care for him, Lotis Key, am sure will leave him, especially if he has no more money, but his parents will never abandon him, that’s Filipino parents are.

What an ignorant statement by Lars. So had proper training for the 1st time in his life when he came to the US. He went from #99 to top 10 in 2 years while jumping over 110 points. After he was kicked out from Webster University, his ranking and rating went down. It’s also disgusting the way he talked to his parents. What a big jerk.

I’M AN AVID FAN OF WESLEY SO FROM THE TIME HE WAS MAKING A BIG NAME ON THE CHESSWORLD. I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’VE READ FROM THIS FAMILY ISSUE AND I CAN’T BELIEVE EITHER THAT WESLEY CAN DO THIS TO HIS FAMILY BEING A FILIPINO WHO IS KNOWN TO HAVE A BIG RESPECT FOR THEIR PARENTS. BUT WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE THIS YOUNG FELLOW WHEN WE DON’T KNOW THE REAL FAMILY MATTERS. LET’S JUST HOPE THAT THEY CAN PATCH UP ALL THEIR FAMILY PROBLEMS. ANYWAY AT THE END OF THE DAY IT IS ALWAYS YOUR FAMILY WHERE YOU CAN RUN TO. GOD BLESS .

Saw these comments for the first time. If Wesley really wrote those cursing messaged to his parents, then he is an ingrate of the highest order. Nobody should talk to his or her parents like that. Especially someone who is schooled in a religious institution. I’ve lost my respect and admiration for Wesley because of what he did to his parents. A chessplayer should always be a gentleman on and off the chessboard, especially when dealing with your family.

Yes, I agree with Mr. David Greiner. It’s been over a year now since this story was posted. It is apparent that Wesley has moved on already. What is the point of this story still published daily. This “hate-campaign” I call it is not necessary anymore.

Lotis Key is clearly manipulating the young mind of Wesley. She managed to make Wesley hate his own family and have on further contact with him. Wesley would have not turned so vicious and full of hate for his mother, if no one is manipulating his mind. He viciously cussed at her mother. No excuse for it. We also question Lotis Key sleeping in Wesley’s bedroom. Is there a sex manipulation here to further control Wesley? Lotis Key is bad for Wesley and would ruin his career.

Good friends of Wesley should try to save him from Lotis Key. She is a real bad influence for him. Lotis knows she can easily manipulate Wesley and is succeeding in doing it. If her intention is honorable, she would have tried to help Wesley reconcile with his family. She has also a questionable background. Being involved with Dolphy even knowing he was a married man. We want to question her moral character. What is her real intention on Wesley? It is the financial windfall from Wesley’s prize money’s winning? Wesley is being led to a wrong direction. It would doomed his career. Wesley’s family loves him so much and he doesn’t even appreciate them , now that he is becoming successful. But he won’t last long if he maintain a bad character. It will surely affect his game. The best thing he can do is reconcile with his family ASAP.

Wesley needs to amend his mistakes and humble himself to his family, Webster college and to Susan Polgar. He needs to clear the air and remove all the distractions to be able to excel in his game. With clear conscience and clear mind, sky is the limit for Wesley. He shouldn’t wait too long and he would have cold feet. Learning how to humble himself is building his good character.

From the looks of things, assessing what have already transpired, Lotis Key is not good for Wesley at all. Ever since she got involved with Wesley, things have unravel. She is barricading Wesley from the very people who can give him support, love and encouragement. It is never right to fight your own family. He needs to learn to talk civilly & courteously with his loved one. Friends come and go, but your family will be there for you thru thick and thin.

Hi Wesley,
We are following your great career. We hope the best for you. You are now a role model for many youth. You are greatly influencing by your example. It is best that you reconcile with your family fast. This is the right thing to do Eat humble pie and you will blessed for it. No need to prolong unnecessary heartaches with your family. Whatever mistakes you think they have made, you need to forgive and let go. We all make mistakes. You are much bigger person not to forgive.

Surround yourself with good people who don’t sow distrust and intrigue. There are good influence and bad influence. I suggest that you avoid Lotis Key as she has a questionable background. I believe a lot of people have already warned you about her. Keep reading your Bible daily and it will guide you in the right path. Blessings to you.

I noticed the changed from Wesley when Lotis Key got involve. I used to facebook Wesley. He even expressed to come and visit my Chess club here in NJ. One day “he” responded to my message very an character of him. It seemed like untie friends, Filipino, and the Philippines. It sad that he may not get a chance to reach the WC if someone is manipulating his young mind. He is very smart with chess but not smart yet in life! As a fan and friend, I wish him the best and wish that Lotis Key get out of his life.
I read a USCF article about Wesley, that was disturbing. He was saying that Lotis Key is his mother and a blonde young lady a sister!
Give me a break! Run away Wesley before it completely damage your mind from this crazy lady. Go back to your real parents and see your real friends!