The Reverse Adoption – The Art and Journey of Finding a Past

Most people fine adoption as a wonderful thing because “you were choosen”. Well yeah, it can be a wonderful thing if the adopter is not constantly reminding the adoptee how they could have died in the orphanage if weren’t adopted. It’s hard to appreciate being adopted when your adopted mother tells you its OK if you want to find your biological mother and then turns around beats the adoptee down for wanting to do so. It’s hard when the adopter does not understand or wants to understand that the adoptee wants to know their past.

On the other hand, the adoptee are relieved to know that the blood that runs through the adopters veins does not run in the adoptee’s veins. The adoptee has the privilege of not claiming anyone on their adopted side as family. The adoptee has no ties to their adopted “family” save for the last name, which can be easily gotten rid of and all ties severed. That’s what adoption does for us who have regretted being adopted and would have rather rolled the dice and stayed in the orphanage.

But the adoptee still has the option of searching for the biological parent(s) and perhaps put closer to the constant question of “why did you abandon me?” Because as with any adopted child, Before we are adopted we were abandoned”

I’ve decided to see what I can find out about my biological mother, who’s name is Marie and my father-by-law, Francios. Why father-by-law and not biological father? Well as the story goes, and again this is just a story being told to me, my biological mother got pregnant with me via a French Malato (possibly military) man. It is not certain if he left when he found out Marie was pregnant or they just never stayed together. Marie met Francios and then had me. My understanding is Marie left me and Francios four days after I was born. Francios, unable to take care of me, put me in an orphanage until he could figure out what to do. He did not release me to the orphanage, just yet. The orphanage had a six month holding rule (yeah, just call me Public Storage) and after six month they called Francios and told him he either had to come and get me or put me up for adoption. Francios, still torn, had no choice but to put me up for bidding…I mean, adoption. At 2.5 years old, here comes another military man and his wife who spotted me and thus adopts me and the rest is adoption history.

I have thought often of my biological mother, all though she didn’t think enough of me to stick around. I mostly wonder about Francios. I do hope life turned out good for him. I don’t not feel what he did was abandonment for he took the time to try to sort things out and was hoping to bring me back home. I feel he tried, where as Marie didn’t try. It took her only four days to make her decision to flight instead of fight. But I still want to know her side. But mostly, I want to know my health history. I want to know if there’s any type of disease that runs through my veins, Alzheimer’s, cancer or does my biological veins have people that lives long and prosperous lives or did they die young for one reason or another. Do I have money waiting for me in Luxembourg…BAHAHA..Hey, one can wish.

So, I’m on a journey, beginning today, to find out if the orphanage I was in for 2.5 years is still there. I need to get a hold of my birthcertificate. I already know Marie’s and Francios’s last names.

My understanding is there’s a Luxembourg Embassey in San Francisco, that I’m going to contact to see if they can point me in the right direction.

Along the process, I’ll be keeping a type of blog/journal which I shall call Blornal or Jourog.

I hope you join me for the journey and I would enjoy hearing stories of the same.