Until Next Time & The Importance of Plans

Monday, 28 July 2014

Saturday was a very emotional day for me as it meant saying goodbye (I hate that word - it should be replaced with 'until next time') to my dad after an amazing few weeks of quality time together. For those of you who don’t already know, my dad lives on the other side of the world with my step mum and two little brothers in Queensland, Australia. On the 4th July he touched down at Heathrow airport ready to embark on an exciting golf tour around some of the UK’s most famous courses in celebration of his 50th birthday. The last time I saw him was when I went over to visit in 2012 so its safe to say that after two years, I was very excited for his arrival. He was joined by two of his Aussie friends and I've spent the past few weeks dashing all over the place to meet up with him. I’ve visited some absoloutely beautiful cities, had moments I’ll never forget and I couldn’t have wished for a more perfect way to spend time with my dad. I’ve
not laughed as much as I have these past few weeks in a very long time
and being so busy has really helped get my anxiety under control. However, as with all good things, they unfortunately have to come to an end.

Now the fun is over and I’ve said a seriously hard 'until next time' (lots of tears were shed over a burrito), I have to be honest, I’m feeling pretty down in the dumps! I’m not wanting to sound like a negative nelly by writing this post – I really just want to see if any of you guys can relate to this awful feeling of emptiness I'm experiencing? Going ‘back to reality’ so to speak is always really difficult – I’m sure you’ve all experienced holiday blues yourself and it’s just part and parcel of life but that doesn’t make snapping back to normality any less difficult.

For me personally, having things to look forward to is such an important part of leading a fulfilled and happy life and although I’m sure there’ll be lots more exciting plans popping up throughout the rest of the year, I still can’t help feeling a little drained. When you’ve spent a good twelve months looking forward to something and then it’s all over in what seems like the blink of an eye, it’s hard not to, you know? I’m the kind of person that's a total planner - I like to have plans at all times – even if its silly little things like what I’ll be eating for dinner this evening or what I'm going to do when I get home from work. In a way, having something to focus on, work towards or look forward to is very comforting for me. Its almost like my security blanket as the unknown is a very scary place and it’s that feeling of not being secure and in control of my life that triggers most of my anxiety attacks. I know there's some things that just cannot be controlled (again, another huge anxiety trigger) and what I'm saying probably makes me sound like a complete control freak but it’s just my way of trying to stay positive – even if that means having something really small to look forward to each day. It keeps me happy and prevents me from spiralling into irrational worry cycles.

I don't want to ramble on too much as this is a very spur of the moment post but sometimes I like to write about day to day life and the feelings I'm sure we all experience from time to time so I’m hoping some of you can relate to what I’m saying. To summarise this not very well thought out post - I’ve had the best month EVER and for that I’m exceptionally grateful. I’ve got the best family and friends a girl could ask for and I've made memories that will last a lifetime. I’m just also really sad it’s all over. Hopefully it won’t be too long until I see my dad again and before I have more exciting plans in place but until then, I’m going to try my best to plan something positive each and every day whether that’s making my favourite meal, spending some quality time with my boyfriend, watching my favourite movie, having a pamper night or writing random posts like this on my blog. I don't think I ever truly realised before now how important having plans are to me and without them how lost I'd feel.

Have you ever felt like this after something you’ve looked forward to has come to an end? If so, I’d love to hear your tips on how you boost your mood and get back to normality.

19 comments

I'm exactly the same Kayleigh! Maybe it's part of having anxiety? Although I think many people need things to look forward to just to get by in life. I certainly do! Sounds like you have had an amazing time with your dad and family. No wonder you feel a little low. Like you say, plan little things to look forward to every day. : )

I totally understand how you feel! Sometimes making plans can just take your mind of the negative space you're in! I know when anything bad happens to me I constantly have to surround myself with things / people that make me smile, whether that's my family, my boyfriend or even just a good comedy and a takeout! You'll not even notice how fast things start to get better! You're definitely going the right way about getting back into a positive frame of mind! :)

Aww just think of all the amazing memories you made the past few weeks and of all the memories yet to be made..I think everyone has that "empty" feeling at some stage but just keep yourself busy like you said and you`'ll soon not feel so sad. X

I can relate to this SO much. Every time I get back from holidays I have severe holiday blues. On top of my anxiety I get extra anxious and feel very low in myself not wanting to do anything. It's SO important to keep busy as it helps take your mind of the fact you're back to reality. I love jotting things down in my diary even if it is just small as it's great to always have things to look forward to! I'm a planner too. LOVE this post, so many people will relate to it in so many ways x

I know what you mean about making lists, I don't do it all the time, but more often than not I just to have a little plan in my head of whats coming up, even if like you said it's just the little things, like getting in from work, washing my hair, putting my pjs on and watching something on TV. Maybe that makes us control freaks?! Who knows, but as you say it's actually quite comforting I think :) x

Of course you are going to feel low and empty when someone you love and don't see much of is going after sending several brilliant weeks together. Your father looks lovely and it sounds like you had a great time together. I always feel low after something exciting & out of the ordinary comes to an end. Be it Xmas, hols, some kind of special occasion etc the best thing to do is create mini things to look forward to in your everyday/weekly life. Do you have a regular skype / FaceTime session with your dad & family in Australia? If not, try to create one. Try and go out to local events at the weekend etc. try to keep your chin up & although not there with you "real time" the blogging community is always somewhere to turn for support and encouragement. As someone who suffers with anxiety (&depression) myself, I know exactly how you are feeling & know it's not a nice feeling. Try to stay as positive as you can though xxx

Such a lovely post Kayleigh and i can relate SO much with this!! I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend and i know how fast time goes when you're with someone you love, planning things is probably the only thing that keeps me going! Just remember its not goodbye but see you later, and you have some amazing memories with your dad to keep you going until the next time, in the meantime keep planning :) xxxwww.sleek-chic.co.uk

If I don't plan or I'm in a situation that's not organised I freak out, I love having little things to look forward to it helps get through the day or weeks faster. I also feel the exact same when my dad and my little brother visit me or I visit them and I have to say until next time with them, you feel like you lost a limb for a few days. Lovely post xxx

aww Kayleigh i feel for you so much with this post - im the exact same with having plans and having things to look forward to and without it i just feel completely lost. I always seem to suffer holiday blues really badly - im just one of those people who seems to feel sad that it's over rather than just being happy it happened! I met some wonderful people on a family holiday this year and I cried my eyes out on the coach to the airport going home - they don't live in the UK so it will be pretty difficult for me to see them again. It's been a week and im still feeling so sad but trying to console myself with the fact i might be going on holiday again with a friend - doesn't help that im job hunting either so im feeling lost as it is and completely out of my depth. I can't imagine what i t must be like to go for that long without seeing your Dad and saying goodbye after all of those happy times together - but just remind yourself that you'll have those times again soon! :) Lots of hugs xxx

I have anxiety and I completely understand the way you're feeling. I pretty much plan my time so I'm always busy and when I have nothing to do I often feel lost. Recently though, I've started to realise how nice it is to have nothing to do but read a good book in the sun or watch a film under a snuggly blanket. I also understand the way you're feeling about saying bye to your dad, well slightly, my boyfriend lived about four hours from me and with work and A-levels we would often have to go a couple of weeks or months not seeing each other. I also went travelling and it was made extremely hard to stay in contact with no wifi. However, e-mailing and face timing dates were set and I would look forward to these for days in advance. Make sure to keep busy, see friends and family, make plans that excite you whether its just going for lunch with a girlfriend or shopping and remember to treat yourself. Huge hugs and kisses and I know it must be hard but stay strong xxxx

I am totally in the same boat as you. I'm a prolific planner; lists are everywhere in my head, on my phone and on paper too. It definitely gives me something to look forward too and I think that's really important xhttp://blushingbeauty9.wordpress.com/v

I'm exactly the same as you, I hate feeling like I have nothing planned and spend so much time making sure plans are made, even if it's just small ones which in the last couple of years it's had to be as bigger plans like normal holidays have all had to be more last minute, one of the many horrible aspects of infertility and not knowing when/if you're going to be pregnant, it sure messes up the mind and drives me crazy as I'm seriously someone who is a natural planner and gets through life looking forward to things and making lots of plans.

I completely get the sad, having the blues feeling, I felt like it for so long after my wedding, I had spent a good couple of years planning it, the holiday and the honeymoon and it came around and then just all went by so quickly. As least you've made some amazing memories though,really sounds like you had a great time with your dad.

Aw Kayleigh! It's a shame you're feeling so down. I'm glad you had such an amazing time with your Dad, and I know it sucks that it just zips by - my family live on the other side of the world, and sometimes it's really hard imagining them living life without me being part of it everyday. But in a way that's what makes it even more special when you do see them.Similarly to you, I find having plans important, and a good way of coping with day to day life. If I haven't planned dinner for the week roughly, or organised my time accordingly with study/work/social things, then I get so lost, and start panicking and having a really rough time. I find that having a cute diary helps so I can pop everything in there! Hope you're feeling okay!

Not necessarily making plans but making lists is important for me. I don't think I get anxiety but when I'm not in control of a situation or things don't go to plan it stresses me out. It's good to take a minute to appreciate things around you and take a breather. You know where all your readers are if you need some support.

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