Sunday, February 10th — Goodbye Mum

I am sitting in Room 208 at Nutech Mediworld in my wheelchair, alone.My laptop rests on a cushion, propped up on the bed and a cuppa strong coffee sits on the bedside table by my wheels.Mum left on a plane bound for Brisbane, Australia last night and the room feels empty.At the request of Dr. Shroff and Chavi, I have extended my stay in Delhi for another ten days.I will return home to Aspen on February 19th so I can squeeze in another three-day procedure and therapy to maximize my treatment.

Seven salmon pink Gerber daisies stand proudly amongst delicate tiny white flowers upon my window sill and all I can think of is how much I am already missing Mum.These were Mum’s birthday flowers that I purchased two hundred feet down the street for only 100 Rupees (US$2.50). Mum was amazing this trip.She was selfless and comforting.I really needed her these past two weeks.For two weeks I have been feeling weak.While the stem cells bring life to my body, they also deplete me tremendously, making me feel frail.Yesterday was the first day in literally fourteen days that I felt strong and my normal self.I was back to my routine physical therapy session, standing tall afterwards in my leg braces for a good thirty minutes without feeling dizzy.Yesterday morning Mum packed her belongings into her suitcase and again we went without a hot shower resorting for a sponge bath with water boiled in our little electric kettle. (Hot showers are sporadic).

For three weeks Mum was a resilient warrior standing by my side, encouraging me, and remaining positive despite India’s challenges.Together we faced my most grueling hospital procedure, overlapped by the theft of my belongings and the tediousness of dealing with police and Indian governmental bureaucracy in reapplying for my passport, exit visa, and customs.We feel like we’ve been through the ringer yet still Mum was outstanding.I could not have survived this ordeal alone.India has challenged us to the max.I felt dependent on Mum to an extent for her strength and unconditional support, which helped pull me through the most difficult circumstances.We belly laughed at the ludicrousy of situations and India’s nonsensical ways, which inexorably conflicted with our westernized mindsets.After a few days of getting used to each other, Mum and I settled into our daily routine:morning coffee; cereal and juice; pull the blinds up; rotate using the bathroom; get dressed; physical therapy; lunch; more therapy; a game of scrabble; dinner; more scrabble; reading; a movie; and bed.Last Thursday was Mum’s birthday, and because she is a year older a newfound wisdom was bestowed upon her:she beat me at scrabble!

I won’t see Mum until October, which will be my fourth visit to Delhi.Saying goodbye is always difficult as we live on other sides of the globe.While the telephone and Skype brings our worlds that much closer, I feel like she is eons away.My heart aches for Mum, especially right now as small tears roll down my face.Nobody in this world loves me like my Mum.I am her blood and I am her second brain.She is compassionate and beautiful.Mum, I will promise to stick to my chosen path and proceed with the strength you and the Universe have bequeathed upon me…I will aspire to walk for you and for me.That is my goal.That is my dream.I will keep the faith, meditate, pray, and fill my being with light and courage.I will chant “Nam Myo Ho Renge Kyo…Nam Myo Ho Renge Kyo…Nam Myo Ho Renge Kyo…Nam Myo Ho Renge Kyo”as you chant in unison from across the oceans.The Lion King of Sutras–The Lotus Sutra—will help us remain in the ever present now, satiating our souls with love, compassion, and good karma from our mystical universe.Believe Mum, as I will hold the belief that anything is possible.I am healing.I am creating every moment right now.My future is now. I try to move forward without expectation.I am not attached to an outcome and I accept my body as it is—right now! While I have physical imperfections, I believe I am perfect as I am.This is my path.Perfection is ever expanding.I embody perfection. Perfection is growing every moment through me and is a dynamic state of being.It is not an end.I will tap into my higher potential—my God Self—knowing that I am capable of achieving more, and visualizing every pure embryonic cell gestating from a perfect state manifesting the Divine throughout my physical body. Mum, hold this belief as I do.I am changed.Through this journey I have matured.I am wiser.I am Amanda.

The traffic relentlessly drones on yet the sun is shining this morning.The smog/fog isn’t too bad and a patch of hazy blue peeks through above the neighbor’s roof.A handful of Indians are brushing their teeth behind the roof’s cement wall.I am sure they see me…in fact, one particular man peers over at approximately the same time each morn in the hope of snagging a glimpse of topless Amanda (or Mum).I think it would be a sight for sore eyes first thing in the morning to see either of us naked, but my friend stares on cue each day.I’ve been told the windows in our building are reflective, yet our friend gazes in anticipation regardless.

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My History, My Story

On February 27, 1992 at the age of 24 I sustained a complete spinal cord injury at T11/12 (that is, no feeling or sensation at thoracic vertebra 11 & 12). I am able to recall the accident vividly in my mind's eye to this very day. I was downhill skiing. Everything happened in slow motion. A freak somersault and in a split second I shattered four vertebrae. It was as though somebody turned off a light switch. An electric current zapped through my legs and in an instant there was nothing.

15 1/2 Years with No Changes…

I have always been an active woman. For 15 1/2 years I sort out various alternative healing therapies yet I showed no improvement. Early on I tried standing tall in leg braces, but my efforts proved fruitless, plus I had a couple of horrible falls. Sitting simply became more functional. In August 2000 I was the recipient of the Vocare Bladder Implant, which helped me void my bladder using electrical stimulation. For 15 1/2 years I kept my legs supple and alive with various alternative healing therapies, yet I showed no improvement. I was paralyzed with no sensation or movement from the top of my pubic bone down. While I arrived at a place of acceptance with my paralysis, I have always had an uncanny insight that one magical day my legs would support me. Secretly, I never gave up hope.

HOPE Restored!

While my spinal cord injury took away my ability to walk, it didn't take away my ability to dream. TODAY I am turning my dream into my reality one baby step at a time.
On June 25, 2007 I was the first US Citizen to undergo Human Embryonic Stem Cell (hESC) Therapy with Dr. Geeta Shroff in Delhi, India.
During my initial two month visit, I not only witnessed astounding improvements in my own body, but with many patients who have life restored within their bodies and a newfound reason to not give up but LIVE!

New Sensations, New Muscle Power–I Am Defying the Odds!

I am compelled to share my experiences with the world. Since my first stem cell treatment in 2007, and after 15 1/2 years of being in a wheelchair I now have increased sensation with light touch and with deep sensation tingling all the way to my toes; my bladder and bowels are beginning to function again; and I have increased muscle power in my legs including gluteal muscles, quadriceps, hamstrings, adductors and abductors, and a flicker in my calf muscles too. Hope is now a part of my vocabulary!