Getting Caught "In Bed" By Your Kid

Watching Modern Family. I worked at the magazine yesterday, picked up JD from school at 5:50 PM, semi-cooked dinner, did flash cards (we’re studying for his Kindergarten evaluation next week), bathed him, read him two books and tucked him in at 8:30 PM. I jumped in the shower and though I didn’t recheck JD, it was pretty quiet and dark, so I assumed like every other night he was sleeping. Sound asleep sleeping.

Joe came over just before 9. For whatever reason, we ended up watching Modern Family in my room and not on the couch like we usually do—I peg this to my exhaustion and not wanting to get it on, haha. It was completely PG: Picture two tired adults in comfy clothes with their backs against a mound of pillows, lights on, watching Modern Family. And fine, drinking a little wine.

Two minutes into the show, JD came running into my room—running so fast, like a bolt of 4-year-old lightening that I didn’t hear him coming. Usually, I hear him. I hear the thump when he wiggles off his bed and his little pounding feet on the carpet. Not this time, he just appeared in the blink of an eye. “Mommy!” he said. He was wide awake and smiling. This child did not wake from any slumber. Joe jumped up even though we weren’t doing anything except watching TV. I played it cool even though inside I was like, Oh shit! My kid just caught me in bed with a guy! He's never seen a guy in my bed! Crrrrrrap!

Suddenly I was no longer watching Modern Family. Ah, I was living it.

I got up calmly. “What are you doing silly?” I said.

“What is Jooooooe doing here, Mommy?” JD asked with a GIANT grin over a nervous giggle. His eyes were curious.

“He came to watch a show with me,” I said.

“Wellllllllll, I have to pee,” he said, wiggling and giggling.

“Go get it done, bud” I said! Then I gave Joe a get-the-hell-out-of-my-bed-now look.

By the time JD was done doing his business, Joe was in the kitchen pretending to look for a snack (Goldfish, fruits snacks, veggie sticks, pretzels, mini muffins—keep looking, haha). JD showed off his Super Mario Brothers jammies and high-fived him. "I'm Karate Boy!!!" he said, with an open palm to Joe's.

“OK, back to bed. School and carnival tomorrow night with silly Lily! Gotta rest up.”

I tucked him in, re-kissed him and re-I love you'ed him. He smelled like baby powder.

JD went to bed for real. Back in my room I wondered if I should say "Sorry" or something, but I didn't. JD is my no.1 and this is his house. Joe knows this and knows what he's currently in. So, hooray for 5T Mario jammies, pee breaks and being interrogated by a 4-year-old.

My kid caught me watching Modern Family w/ my guy. Could have been way worse. Ah, God Bless locks.

Happy Dance it out friends and tell me, ever get caught in the act by your kiddo? Eeeps!