SNL Transcripts: Steve Martin: 01/31/09: MacGruber II

[FADE IN on the ends of two electric wires as a spark jumps between them. CUT among various shots of pontoon planes, hands tinkering with materials, and exploding buildings.]

Singers:“MacGruber! Making life-saving inventions out of household materials! MacGruber! [CUT to MacGruber drinking a Pepsi can]There’s only one cola he would pour into his mouth hole!MacGruber! Pepsi is that cola!”

[CUT to MacGruber holding a bunch of Pepsi cans against footage of flames.]

Vicky: And from the looks of that C4 we’ve only got about… 15 seconds!!!

MacGruber: Okay, just take a chill, [opens a Pepsi can] crack a Pepsi, and refresh everything…

MacGyver: What does that even mean?

MacGruber: It’s Pepsi’s new motto, to me it means relax…

MacGyver: Are you sponsored by Pepsi or something?

MacGruber: Wha-a-at??? Maybe!! [Cut to MacGyver standing desperated on the door] but, who cares? I’m 100% my own man! By the way, my name illegally changed to PepSuber so you guys keep that in mind and addressing…

Vicky: Five seconds, MacGruber!

MacGruber: Vicky?

Vicky: Fine!… PepSuber!

MacGruber: Okay, I better get to work on this baby… after this [gives a sip to his Pepsi can]

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn View all posts by Don Roy King