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WOW. Very, very strong. Very captivating. Your word choice towards the end is very nice!! Maybe add some of those words nearer to the top. WOW. Very nice. It's opaque; I love that. I love how you can't ever exactly know what's going on, and the poem means something completely different to each reader. This is the type of poem that is relatable to anyone - anyone at all. This is the type of poem publishers are looking for. Nice job.