By this stage, I think we've all more or less accepted that 'wearable technology' means something like a watch or glasses or ring or earpiece that measures your heartbeat and talks to your phone. But this memo unfortunately hasn't reached certain fashion brands.

Tommy Hilfiger is the guilty party here — guilty of releasing two different solar-powered coats designed to charge your phone. These coats cost $600. They look ridiculous. They have solar panels mounted on the back, which at best will slowly charge the included USB battery pack, and at worst will make you the laughing stock of anyone walking behind you. You don't need one. Your girlfriend doesn't need one. Not a single person needs this.