Cut the horseshit son, I've got your disciplinary files right here. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me. You're outta here like *&^% through a goose.

Your file is one of the most insanely idiotic things we have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent responses were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on the admissions committee is now dumber for having read about you. We award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Your file is one of the most insanely idiotic things we have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent responses were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on the admissions committee is now dumber for having read about you. We award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

After carefully reviewing your very impressive application, we have decided to not offer you a seat in our incoming law class. Thank you for your time. Harvard Law appreciates your deep, committed interest in Yale.

This is another admission notification brought to you in part by (insert college of law).The admissions committee does not give a phuck about what you think and if you don't like it, you can suck my phucking cock. Little did you know, upon applying and having your application killed by (this IS a DENIAL letter if you can't take a hint) our prestigous college of law, you have just kissed our collective ass. I am personally fed up with your s**t and I'm going to kill you.

If you are going to be a male private part, you don't just insult the person. I would take this tact:

Dear [name],

As you are fully aware, [name of school] seeks applicants of only the highest caliber to fill the ranks of our student body. After fully reviewing your application for admission, the admissions committee has decided you would make a valuable contribution to our community, and we are delighted to offer you a place in the class of 2009. Just kidding.

Sincerely,

Dean [name]

Logged

"Imagine the future; Woke up with a screamI was buying some feelings from a vending machine"

We here at [school] have determined you're not good enough for us. We have been told that some students we reject go on to have very nice little careers after graduating somwhere else. Have no fear, we are taking steps to correct that error.