Worst Trends of The Season: Culottes

Disclaimer: the following are my own views, I apologise if you feel offended because you feel you pull off this particular trend. Yes, So Versailles is about completely owning your outfit and killing it and pushing your boundaries and doing you, but there are certain things that I feel no one looks good in…except for Rihanna, cause she looks good in everything.

So we’ve all seen my trend-related posts like The Power of the T-Shirt, Chokers and Gladiator Sandals covering the trends I like or I have already somehow manage to pull off, but how about I do a post about trends I wish would drift into unconsciousness and no one resuscitate? Let’s try this then, and the first trend about to be roasted: culottes.

Worst Trends of The Season: Culottes

No you can’t pull them off. The only people who can just get by with donning these greatly unflattering trousers/shorts billowing below the knee are size 2 ‘quirky’ fashion editors, even then I’ll roll my eyes. A strong no to this trend. A strong no. As I have already mentioned, they are unflattering and if you were in blessed with somewhat of an arse then don’t even bother. No, please don’t bother. There are some items of clothing that when you grow up and you realise you were blessed with certain assets you must realise you cannot wear these again…culottes being one of them.

I don’t know what the culotte is trying to be! Are you shorts? Are you 3/4 lengths? God forbid. Are you a skort? Pick a side, honey. They also show the most unflattering section of leg. No one goes “oh it was her shins that did it for me and her wonderful calves” no one cares about calves so let’s not give them any attention without the company of their besties the knees and maybe even a sliver of the sexy thighs. Much like Eminem to D12 the calves are nothing without the knees or thighs. Let’s not give them false hope, ok?

Even worse than culottes? White culottes. Now you’re just trying to give me high blood pressure-related illnesses. Trouser-wise, White is a tough colour to pull off in any circumstance. But why did you do this to yourself? It’s like playing poker with a losing hand and being the worst bluffer ever. You lost this battle, please redeem yourself in the next round. And please burn those culottes.