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Predictions Star Wars Style

Prediction

AFC EAST

Star Wars CharacterNew England11 - 5Emperor PalpatineKeeps Darth Vader (below) on a tight leash. Used to be terrifying, but now is just old and wrinkled. New York10 - 6Darth MaulThe threatening apprentice. Knows what he's doing, but will still end up sliced in half at the bottom of a reactor shaft.Buffalo6 - 10BiggsHe was right there until the end, then he blew up.

Miami

5 - 11

Jar JarBumbling moron.

Prediction

AFC NORTH

Star Wars CharacterBaltimore12 - 4The Death StarIncredible defense against a large scale attack, but has a tendency to implode.Pittsburgh10 - 6SebulbaWins a lot of pod races, but has been known to cheat. The shot at another title was undone by an ugly crash.

Cincinnati10 - 6Crix MadineImprisoned, but he broke out just in time to lead a major offensive.

Cleveland

3 - 13

JawasThey are small, brown, and constantly trading for junk.

Prediction

AFC SOUTH

Star Wars Character

Colts

11 - 5

Luke SkywalkerYou aren't sure he is going to get it done in the end, but you can't imagine the story ending any other way.Jaguars10 - 6Salacious CrumbSort of menacing at first glance, but easily defeated by lesser heroes.Houston6 - 10BanthaSlow moving herd animals who are easily mastered.Tennessee6 - 10Admiral PiettCompetent leadership that is constantly failed by its underlings.

Prediction

AFC WEST

Star Wars CharacterChargers14 - 2Darth VaderVery frightening, but never lived up to its incredible potential.Denver9 - 7Admiral AckbarA brilliant strategist who always seems to fall into traps.Kansas City6 - 10Taun TaunYou have to be careful because they'll let you ride them to death.Oakland3 - 13Storm troopersThey may look tough, but they aren't.

Star Wars CharacterChicago12 - 4AnakinBrash and talented, but has no arm.Minnesota6 - 10Mon MothmaReally, really boring.Green Bay6 - 10YodaGreen and 800 years old.Detroit6 - 10Admiral Ozzel"He is as clumsy as he is stupid."

Prediction

NFC SOUTH

Star Wars CharacterNew Orleans12 - 4WedgeHis presence is nearly inexplicable, but he's going to be there in the end.Carolina7 - 9Millennium FalconA favorite of everyone's, but may break down at exactly the wrong time.Tampa Bay3 - 13The Naboo SquadronLots of pilots, none of them any good. Atlanta2 - 14Han Solo frozen in carboniteYou couldn't be more screwed.