I Just Saw The Sessions, and I Don't Get How Being a "Sexual Surrogate" Is Legal

Therapy or not, isn't it still prostitution?

Good work, Junior Crime Stopper. Your badge is in the mail. Sexual surrogacy is in fact illegal, or would be if the cops were suddenly to bust in. Its particulars are overseen by the International Professional Surrogates Association, a self-overseeing agency that hooks up therapists and surrogates in California, where most acts take place. Naturally, sex surrogates and the therapists who pimp them maintain that everyone's intention is purely therapeutic: "We have a program," says surrogate Linda Poelzl. "In the first session, you do this, in the second, you do that. We have a session where we talk about safe sex and condoms and gloves and barriers and STDs and how to keep yourself healthy." (I would try to skip that one if you could.) In another session, she says, "Clients can look at our vulva and we can even use a speculum to show inside," which, I must point out, occasionally happens with real hookers.

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Obviously we aren't going to resolve this tonight, but if you simply want to be sure you're getting the best sex for the least amount of hassle, I recommend you book with a fully nonaccredited, board-uncertified pimp. Talk to the guy in the fur coat, not the guy in the tweed blazer.