I AM going to tan my legs,” announced the 12-year-old with a determined air. Her dad almost choked on his Digestive before firmly explaining why that wasn’t going to happen.

In the way that daughters do, though, she appealed to a higher authority – me. And reader, I let her.

It was a tough call. On the one hand the idea that my little girl was being sucked into the tyranny of a beauty regime at so young an age dismayed me. Surely she should still be playing with her mates, climbing trees, riding a bike – not worrying about brown shins?

On the other, I could symapthise. She’s a sporty kid and her calves are always on display. Why shouldn’t she want nice legs?

And right there is the problem every woman in the UK faces on a daily basis; the pressure to look good versus the pressure to simply be.

This week Frances Barber (pictured) announced she is saving for a facelift.

The move follows ‘vile’ online comments about her appearance which resulted in her ‘going to bed for a month’.

Now I like Franny. Whenever I read interviews with the Silk star she comes across as a down to earth, sensible sort of bird. From where I stand she looks fabulous, too – that slightly naughty expression she often wears speaks of a woman who would be great fun on a night out.

And if she wants to fiddle with her face that’s entirely her business.

True, as an actress she is under enormous scrutiny, often in high definition, but we’re all guilty of bowing to the pressure of having to look younger, slimmer, taller, sleeker – whether you’re 12 or 54.

And the worst critics of women? Women themselves.

It’s either our sisters, clocking a friend’s grey roots peeping through or a work colleague’s wrinkles and passing judgement or ourselves, gazing into a mirror, not seeing what we like and continuing the treadmill of dyeing, plucking, waxing, dieting.

Should I have stood firm with my daughter and not been complicit in helping her conform to other people’s idea of beauty? I don’t know. I suspect she’d have sneaked my bottle of Dove and done it anyway.

What I do know is that change has to come from within and until women give themselves a beauty break we’ll all be pursuing perfection forever.