Though the Red Sox picked up the 2008 option on right-hander Julian Tavarez, there's a chance they will move the swingman. Tavarez prefers starting and it's highly doubtful he'll get that chance in Boston.

"He's been asked about by a few teams," Epstein said. "I think interest will probably crystallize more once some of the comparable free agents are off the board. He's attractive to some teams. He's on a one-year deal, he's durable, versatile and threw well when we gave him a consistent role last year."

Psssh. Looks like Theo's getting all noble, honoring the wishes of a player who helped Manny Ramirez, Daisuke Matsuzaka and others keep (relative) sanity while offering some of the best comedy Major League Baseball had to offer.

1. Heckle Julian, and you just might get threatened with a baseball in the cabeza, Jack. (Consider that a sentimental favorite, considering we dug it up first over the summer).

If the rumors are true, we bid you adieu, you big, lovable chemically imbalanced lug. You used to scare us with your horrific pitching and scary demeanor, but we will always remember you as the Forrest Gump of the 2007 Boston Red Sox.