Tuesday, May 31, 2016

So yesterday I joined a weight loss program. It's called Sparkle A New You Wellness Coaching. And I don't really know much about it but I really like Jacynta Harb and I am going to be successful. And this is my best shot at being successful.

I already feel more determined this time (in random stream of consciousness order)

1. I am admitting that I am going on a weight loss program to the 26.2 people that read my blog. I am a prideful person so I am much less likely to be seen stuffing my face with pastries at church if I know that someone knows that I am trying to lose weight. And how embarrassing would it be to quit mid way. But clearly embarrassment alone is not going to get me to my goals. It's embarrassing to look the way I do but that hasn't helped so far.

2. I am starting TODAY! I don't have a meeting with my new Sparkle group this week but my first step was to re-install My Fitness Pal, start tracking and maybe even lost some weight by my first meeting. No "This is my last week to eat what I want" week. That mindset is not going to get me anywhere.

3. I have wanted to do this for years. The time is now. One of my biggest goals for the past 10 years is to be able to one day post my before AND AFTER photos. Unfortunately my before photos get posted way too much for my liking. I have now become one of those people that hides in photos. It's time for some AFTER photos. It's TIME TO WORK HARD! It's TIME TO GET MY SPARKLE ON!!!!

So what are my goals? I always struggle with this one. I mean "To not be fat" doesn't seem to be the correct reason to these weight loss questionnaires. But the truth is yeah that's one of my goals. And to me, it is tied into the same goal as "to be more healthy". You can't be fat and healthy. I want to be healthy. I want to be not fat. I want to give my doctor back my "Pre-Diabetes" card. I can only accomplish this with diet and exercise. I want to not huff and puff up stairs.. I can only accomplish this through diet and exercise. I want my back to not hurt all the time... now here's a tricky one.. I don't actually know if I can accomplish this or not.. the doctor says no. Come on!! That can't possibly be true. I know that I have permanent nerve damage but surely the extra *mumble mumble* pounds I am carrying can't not be helping the cause. I want to prove my doctor wrong. I am going to do this with diet and exercise. Eventually I will come up with some S.M.A.R.T goals but for right now, I just want to start and not be overwhelmed.

What are my struggles? Free food. I am a muncher of all things free. Not being prepared. The time has come to overcome my laziness. My laziness has resulted in processed food all the time. So I need to prepare real food at home and also need to deal with being out and about. I believe that I will be successful if I can be prepared or overprepared at all times. If I am always carrying around my own food, then I won't be stuck eating half a cheese pizza at a friend's house. If I am prepared and eat my meals on a regular basis, I won't binge mid-day on end aisles candy bars and slim jims. I also struggle with being overwhelmed. What do I eat? How much? Do I eat low fat or high fat no carbs? How much protein should I eat? Why am I so hungry? How do I kick the sugar habit? But I like my Diet Cokes but asparatame is going to kill me. Everything is going to kill me. Should I eat organic everything? Or just the dirty dozen? Heck, right now I barely even wash my non-organic food. Ugh pesticides are going to kill me. Everything is going to kill me. So besides accountability, I am hoping my Sparkle program will give me more direction and out of my "We're all doomed no matter what we eat" mindset I have going on right now.