She was a cat who’d seen 8 of her 9 lives...

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I had thought about writing about how much 2000-2009 really really sucked. I mean death of family and loved ones, illness and surgery, betrayal and heartbreak, violations and lack of trust, struggle and strife....yeah. There were many people and things that may have had good moments but all told they brought more bad and pain than good and happiness. I don't really want to drudge all that up again. Much like the nightly news there is to much bad reported. I want to think about the good. So, the things I have had which brought more good and happy:

The highlights of The 20'Aughts-

1) Meeting Katinsky, Aileen, Carter, Evita and the rest of the Sensurround crew. These are the people I now consider my family and closest friends. So much of the other good for these years has been with/ for/ and because of them. 1a) Barker Project 1b) Geek Love (in ATL and Fringe Fest) Sure, these things had their ups and downs but all in all they were experiences where I stretched and grew as an actress and worked with people who ( I trust and would share the boards with again and again. (And yes, this is even if I don't want to share anything other than The Boards with them.) 1c) Karaoke- Singing in public was my last great performance anxiety. If it weren't for the support, encouragement and friendly jabs I never could have done this. Now, I even feel ok with auditioning for shows with musical aspects.

2) Spring 4th. Thanks to Elvis, Rik, Chris and The Psytrance kids for this. I found a home there. I miss it a great deal. I really enjoyed my time at the door and in my "fishbowl" slinging the booze. It was a wonderful way to come out from under my rock, get my groove on a bit and also it gave a bit to my caretaker side in playing physical and emotional nursemaid to friends and strangers.

3) Livejournal. Yep, I actually started this in 2000. And yes, there has been various drama and stress. But it has also lead me to many wonderful people. And it is cheaper than therapy.

4) Nomenclature- Ok, this really started with my time on the doors at 688 and on the Stage at Club Fetish and The Chamber. But, working with Kook and Foster at Nomenclature let me take a more active role in the over all process and I loved it. It also let me meet people like Jolie, Calico, Emily and others who have been (and continue to be) important and cherished parts of my life.

5) Trips to NOLA with Foster. I can't even begin to talk about all the fun I had there. NOLA had previously been a tainted city thanks to ventures in poor relationships. But, going there with a friend to see other friends and work various events- that was more than wonderful.

6) Voltaire- The man, The market. I truly enjoy working for Voltaire. He is a wonderful person, a talented artist and I have met some wonderful people because of it. Again for this I have to put Jayme, Joanne, Beverly, Travis, Randy and Audrey into my list of favorite people. I never would have met any of them if it weren't for Voltaire and my life would be less without them.

7) Meeting The Oracle, Bones and Melissa. (It's almost funny that The Oracle is really my only friend in Chicago now.) I owe much to them (and Melissa) for taking care of my fur-kids when I sojourn back to the south. Extra special love for The Oracle and Melissa for stepping in on short notice to take care of them when Mom died. The Oracle has been there for me in many nights/ early morning of talking over breakfast or tea. And of course I couldn't have a better crowd here for silly dancing at 80's nights.

8) ARTC and MRAP. What fun!! And what wonderful people to work with. It brought me a new skill set as well as a diverse group of people who are all warm, talented, fun, creative and delightful. Almost from the moment I walked in to Chez WilbanksRich I felt wanted and accepted. I did several delightful shows with them. All in all, it represents work and people that I am proud to have in my life.

9) Romeo and Juliet. Yeah, it was a short run and I have done better shows. But playing Benvolio was great fun. I met "The Crush". I had a really fun time. And it was the kicker that got me out of the "sacrifice" of my marriage (where I gave up everything I wanted so I could help others with their goals) and back to doing stuff that was for me. And breaking my foot just made for a funny story of all of it.

10) Matt, Lynette, Karen, Monique and Mykie. United Airlines hasn't brought me much in the way of happiness or "good". But, it did bring these people into my life. I know for a fact I could not have made it through the last year without them. They have listened to me rant and rave. They have hugged me while I cried. They have indulged my work madness an even laughed at it from time to time.

So, there you have it. All the good from 00-09. It isn't much when I think of the list of bad. But, it is enough. It has kept me going. People, places and shows which have nourished my heart and spirit. And that is the most important part of life.

Moving forward? Well, I don't really have any resolutions for 2010. I decided the over all "better my person and life" are something I need to work harder on all of the time and there is no end result. It isn't a pass/fail. It is an ongoing effort. Well, I suppose there is a "fail" which comes if I stop trying. I do, however, have some measured goals I would like to complete in 2010.1) Read (at least) 25 new books. I know I should aim for more but I am hoping to be busy with other things.

2) Go on (at least) 12 auditions. Again, I know I should do more. But I am hoping to get cast in several shows so it will impair my ability to audition. 3) Perform in (at least) 4 shows and/or 6 film/ commercial shoots.

4) Watch 52 new movies (1 a week) . With Netflix, the ability to download stuff and theaters this one should be a cinch. Since this is part of what I want as a career I need to put in the hours to study the form more.

5) Watch 12 live shows. (1 a month) See above reasons. And it is better than wasting time in front of the T.V.

6) Travel more. As long as I am stuck working for United I need to take advantage of my flight benefits. I have a passport. I need to use it. I also have so many place in the US I need to see. There is definitely a trip needed to Buffalo to see Moo. Where else can I go? Anyone out there have a couch which would suit a traveling Kitten for a night or two? (Sadly, as long as I a working for United there is no way I can afford hotels or even hostels.) But I want to get out more and see more people.

7) Go to museums at least 12 times. Different museums. Different adventures. There are enough free/ discounted things here in Chicago that I just need to get out and to it. I also really want to go to the Tim Burton Exhibit at the MoMA and spend more time there. (The trip there with Joanne was shorter than I wanted since I was feeling so poorly.)

8) Go to at least 12 new restaurants. Ok, going out to eat once a month is a huge splurge. I'll have to work hard on the budget for this. But, I need to be more adventurous. I need to get out and explore more. And, I need to eat.

9) Take at least one class. More than likely this will be in some kind of theater training. But, it can be anything. If I can find a free class for something all the better. All the more need to expand and grow. If I can do more I will. I suspect it depends largely on money.

10) ??? I need a 10th goal. Something that is easily quantified. Preferably something that will be free. Suggestions?

Does anyone know where I can find a free Quickbooks Test or Tutorial online? I have used it in the past but it has been a while. I have a job interview on Tuesday and I have the feeling I may have to test on this so I want to brush up a little.. So far my google search hasn't yielded anything. :-(

Ok, Thanksgiving is over. It is now acceptable to talk about the winter holidays...Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, which ever you prefer.
I will be making a few posts about this.

First, the greedy one.
My Top 10 Wish List!!! We all have one. This is by no means an expectation of gifts. But, it also never hurts to ask. :-)
It may also help you think of gifts for others.

1) Money. Crass? Maybe. But, I still have thousands of dollars in medical bills to pay...and that is after insurance. Money (and visa/ master card gift cards) are useful for a ton of things from bills to food to entertainment. Giving someone a gift like this doesn't mean you aren't thinking about them. It means you are empowering them to make their own choices.

2) Gift cards to Target, Petsmart: Ok, it is like cash. But it is more specific. It still allows for purchasing of thing that can be practical or whimsical.

3) Gift cards to Fandango/ Kerasotes, Netflix: Maybe the purely practical thing isn't your bag. Maybe you think that gift giving it so that people can have things they might not typically get for themselves. Maybe you think a gift is something that should be for fun and and not for practicality. Entertainment gift cards do just that while still letting the person get something they know they want.

4) An appointment for massage or acupuncture. :Let's face it, life is stressful. The holidays even more so. I won't even start on all I have had to face this year or the reasons why the holidays are even more depressing than normal. (My regular readers are already aware of most of it anyway.) Giving someone the gift of health and relaxation is truly a beautiful thing.

5) Tiny Ornaments. Ok this one is probably just me. See, a couple of years ago my mother got me a tiny pre-lit Christmas tree. (I think it is an 18" tree. ) I wasn't that excited about it at the time because I have never been that in to decorating for Christmas. Now, I want to. This is something that is important to my mother- keeping some feel of holiday joy no matter what the circumstances- I see it a little differently now. I want to set up my tiny tree and decorate it with some tiny ornaments. And they don't have to be Christmas themed. I used to have a couple of packs of tiny resin Halloween Ornaments. Sadly, they were all lost over the years. :-(

6) the InStyler Rotating Hot Iron. Yeah, I know, too much time with late night infomercials. But this product has gotten great reviews. And I think it would be a wonderful way to encourage me to embrace the much needed mantra of "Get up. Dress up. Show up." Yeah, it's expensive. But hey, they are doing a buy one get one free! Maybe you want one. Or you know someone else who wants one. Two gifts knocked out with one purchase.

7) Digital Camera. This really is the kind of gift that keeps on giving. And who doesn't want memories from the holiday seasons (as well as the rest of life). As for me, I have had to pass up 3 different promo gigs in the past few months because I no longer have a digital camera. I don't need anything fancy. Just compact and functional.

8) Headshot Prints. You all want to see my acting career become functional again, right? Headshots are essential. The Oracle has offered to take some new pictures for me so I can have something current and in color. But I gotta get things printed. Ok, so this is only a good gift for the actors and model-types that you know. But if you know any this is the PERFECT gift.

9) A telescopic shower head. I had one of these before and it was amazing. It is so much better than a normal fixed shower head. I just...yeah. It is a good thing.

10) Bath bombs. Lush is the maker of many fine bath bombs. I am sure there are others out there but for the money these are the best. Personally, I don't know anyone who couldn't use a little bit of pampering. Maybe there isn't alot of time and money for such things. But a long, hot, wonderfully aromatic bath can be a wonderful band-aid for so much of the stress.

Everyone should make an Amazon Wish list. They cover lots of places and items. You don't have to feel compelled to shop there though. Don't forget you can find many of these items cheaper on ebay and other sites. The amazon list will at least let you know what people are looking for.

Later, posts about creative people and places, holiday fun times, travel plans and family stuff.
**Edit**
David was kind enough to point out that I had not let people know how they could get stuff to me if they so desired...
But, if one wanted to send me things- packages, holiday cards, random postcards, what ever- they can ask for my address and I will send it to them in a private message.

Or, if they prefer to deliver in person (but won't be visiting Chicago) they can see me when I come to Atlanta Dec. 11, 12 and maybe 13th. I'll be posting more later about my whereabouts and plans for that time frame.

** See times and all proposed legs of this transport below this message **

If you can help, please contact me directly by changing the subject line of this message to: "TRANSPORT HELP GA/FL" and replying privately...OR by calling me toll free at 888-303-9454. I don't want to miss an offer! (wishstar@sbcglobal.net)

If you cannot transport or offer an overnight, PLEASE help by telling others about this plea to help us find transporters!

REASON FOR TRANSPORT: Shelter to vet to rescue: An American Curl and a Siamese were pulled from a high kill shelter in SC. The Himalayan Persian was pulled from Columbia County Animal Care & Control Department in GA. They have been fully vetted and need to be transported from our Veterinarian to Cat Call, our affiliate in Tampa, FL.

PASSENGERS: American Curl and Siamese from Greenville Co Animal Control, SC and a Himalayan Persian from Columbia County Animal Care & Control Department, GAALTERED: AlteredTESTED NEGATIVE FOR FIV/FELV: NegativeUTD ON RABIES & OTHER VACS: YesVETERINARY RECORDS/CERTIFICATES WILL TRAVEL WITH CATS. CARRIERS: WILL BE PROVIDED

***Edit-DAMNIT!! Spoke too soon. Computer is doing it again...still...Going to delete all non essential programs, rescan and start the process all over again.*grrrrrr*

Well, it seems to be ok. *knocks on wood*

In this process I:Rebooted countless timesCold bootedSystem restoreTook apart the laptop to clean the keyboard and touchpad assemblyRan it with external keyboard and mouseRan Free Windows Registry CleanerInstalled and ran CcleanerInstalled and ran MalwareBytesRipped and reinstalled the keyboard and touchpad drivers. (This wasn't easy since I have an older HP Pavilion and HP doesn't like making old drivers very accessible.)I am not really sure which step fixed it (it was somewhere in the last 2 steps). But, at least it seems fixed for now.

Thanks to everyone for the advice and input. I really do appreciate it.

I need help!!Last night, for some reason I have yet to figure, anytime I open a file or program my computer acts as if I have just told it to delete.When I tell it "cancel" it acts as if I have done nothing.Sometimes when I right click the "close" I can get the delete inquiry to go away.Sometimes if I right click to open or run I can get it to do so without asking me if I want to delete.But If I click or double click it asks me to confirm deletion.

I haven't downloaded or installed anything new.I haven't followed any odd links to websites.I haven't changed any settings.AVG isn't finding a virus.

I have cold booted.I had tried a system restore.I booted and scanned in safe mode.Removed and cleaned the keyboard and touchpad assembly.

When I searched online all I could find was being told that is it s bad mouse. I have a touchpad on the laptop so I tried disabling it and using an external mouse and still had the same issues.

So, what happens when you give 20 actors, 5 writers, 5 directors, and countless interns 24 hours to write and perform the most entertaining, heart-wrenching, death-defying plays known to man/woman? Don't know?Neither do we because we haven't written it yet!!! Are they up to the challenge? Do they have what it takes? Can they remember their lines? Place your bets...Come out on Monday June,1 to see the first installment of The 24 Hour Plays at Gorilla Tango Theater.

Every argument I have ever heard against same sex marriage has been based on biblical/Christian beliefs. It hasn't been based on anything political, financial, medical, environmental...you know, the things that government is supposed to be concerned with. If I remember correctly there was some kind of major country ratified movement that declared the FUCKING SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!!!!

I'm so...disgusted.Really, that is the word. Disgusted.

I am all for people having their own opinions.So you are entitled to marry who you want to marry. But why do you think you have the right to tell others who they can or can't marry?!?

Somewhere in the back of my head is a long eloquent speech so support my views. But right now I am sad and disgusted and the words just won't come.

If a church or other private institution chooses not to perform a certain type of ceremony that is their choice. They are a private business. As a private business they are entitled to exercise their opinions in that way. But it should not be a government issue of any kind. There should not be any type of governmentally supported agency that should refuse this service.

i just....

ARRGGHHHHH!!!!It is so infuriating.It is so disgusting.It is so narrow-minded.And it is so NONE OF ANYONE ELSE'S FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!

Justice Carlos R Moreno- I salute you for trying to do the right thing. I respect you for trying to stand up for the rights of individuals and the ideal on which this country was founded.

So, my birthday is on the 26th. I worked things out so I have the week (25-2) off. I was hoping for a lovely stay-cation followed by my friend's wedding. Instead I get long distance planning of my mother's wake, then my friend's wedding and then my mother's wake. Really, a shitty birthday week.

In light of that I am going to play the pity card and declare that I have earned the right to ask for stuff!!!Two lists. The easy list and the wish for the stars list. Almost all of it is on my amazon wish list.

And wishing for the stars....1) Headshot reprints.- They are cheap here2) New headshots. I need some in color...3) A new laptop. My little Veger is holding up well given her years but that isn't saying much.4) Website/Online portfolio. I know how much it would cost me if I had to pay someone to do it so it is in the Wish Big list.5) Tickets to some big shows here in Chicago. Really, anything. There is so much good theater here. I need to see some of it...Wicked, Spamalot, Jersey Boys...whatever. 6) Classes with the NeoFuturists. I don't think I can do this session but next session...7) Gym Membership. Seriously, I'm fat and out of shape. I need this. 8) Self cleaning litterbox. This is something I think my kitty sitters would also appreciate. 9) Skydiving. I really need to jump out of an airplane. 10) Ink. Several of you know Loki. If you don't want to do then for me then do it for him. :-)

So, there you have it. My all out wish for it all lists. Because really, who ever thought I would make 36....

My birthday is in a week. I have the week of my birthday off as "vacation time". I did have all these grand plans for a dinner or two, a day of beauty, an evening with the NeoFuturists... Sadly, having missed over a week of work to deal with the first stages of Mom's death all the money squirreled away for those things has to go to other stuff...like bills. But, all things considered, I really need to celebrate.

Thanks to the wonderful and amazing Crazy Larry I still get to do one of the the things I had planned-3 RINGS OF HORROR ZOMBIE PUB CRAWL!!!!Now be careful- there are 2 Zombie Pub Crawls that day. Scroll down to the information about Weird Chicago's 3 Rings of Horror. You have to sign up in advance and you can get the tickets here. Again, scroll down to the 3 Rings of Horror and not the regular tour. (Although the tour is definitely worth attending.) It is only 15.00 and this gets you a ride from bar to bar as well as drink specials, movies, Misfits Cover band and a ton of other fun stuff.

And you should join me. I mean, it's Saturday Night Zombie Goodness. Do you really have anything better to do?

I'll post a wish list later. Or you can just click on the link for my Amazon Wish list that is in the sidebar of my LJ...

I woke this morning to find that Dharma- my sweet little Black Bear Hamster- passed away last night. :-(She was the sweetest baby. She liked taking treats from my mouth and curling up on my neck under my hair. I loved the way she stuffed treats into her cheeks. She was a housewarming/ Christmas gift from project_mayhem_ when I moved here. She grew from being a sickly little thing about the size of a walnut (with a fat butt) into a friendly super cuddly hamster who actually weighed about a half a pound. She'd climb up on my shoulder and we'd walk around the house. Sometimes I'd put her into the bed and she'd curl up at my chin or under my hair. She also liked getting into her ball and chasing the cats around the house.

Burying her in the frozen ground was not really the best way to start the day.

A little late in the day but-Happy Solstice Everyone.I sincerely hope that on this, the longest night, that you find much light in the darkness.And if you need just a pinpoint- know that I am lighting a candle just for you.

Ok, it is that time of year to wish. It is the time to be materialistic as well as giving. It is the time for HOLIDAY WISH LIST MEME!!

STEP ONE - Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 (or 12) holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas/Yule/Kwanzaa/Channukah is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

- If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you. [Note: Your home address is not required!]

- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ so that the holiday joy will spread.

STEP TWO -Surf around your friendslist (or friend's friend's, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call. There are no guarantees with this project, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive.

And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

My wishes...

Cash- It might be crass but it is also practical.Mani/Pedi- Anywhere really. Gift certificates work. Or if you are near (or I am near you) and want to do a day out for pampering then that is good too. Photo Editing.- I have a ton of great pictures that need to be cleaned up so I can get a portfolio together.Website/ Online Portfolio- It might really help my work.Headshot reprints.- They are cheap here.Accupuncture.- Again, let's go the economic route.Tattoo.- I really want to go to Loki in Atlanta but I am open to other suggestions.A Laptop.- Mine is seriously on its last legs. (But she putters on and that is why I love her so.)Vosges Candy Bars. They have so many that just look heavenly. Coffee- Specifically Green Mountain Organic French Roast and/or Starbuck's Christmas Blend.Bubble Bath- Not Foam bath. Actual bubble bath. Maybe even Glow in the Dark Bubble Bath...Bath Bombs. There are some great ones here. What can I say- I likes my baths. :-)Oh, and of course from my southern friends. White Mexican Cheese Dip. :-)

If you need an info email me and I'll fill ya in.

Now, go forth and make dreams come true...Later, a post of some of may favorite arts and crafters to add amazing and unique touches to your holiday giving.

I sipped a cup of tea while I watched the sun rise on this Veteran's Day.I thought about my Father. He doesn't talk much about his time in the Navy. It was not a place he went out of a sense of pride or obligation. He went because it was the law. But, while he was there it was his job. And, as in all things, he did his job to the best of his ability.I sipped my tea and I thought of an old high school friend who went into the Army. He went in as a robust, bright eyed young man. He came out in a few pieces in bag. I sipped my tea and I thought of so many of my other friends and associates who have spent time in the various branches of the armed forces. Some of them saw "action" while other did not. Some of them wear the history as a badge of growth and pride. Some are less proud.I thought of many friends and associates currently serving and how I watch the news for updates on event and how I wait eagerly for their next emails and journal posts to see what new tings they are learning and to make sure they are still ok.I sipped my tea and I thought of one of my newer, yet closer friends who will be off to the Air Force shortly. I thought of the conversations we have had and his mix of pride, enthusiasm, doubt and fear. I thought of that odd cold pit I get in my stomach when I think of the darker side of what may happen for him. I thought more of the wonderful opportunities that will await him for making this leap. I sipped my tea and said a prayer and thought of all of it...good and bad...hopeful and desolate...gained and lost.And I thank them for stepping up, standing strong, and doing the things that allow me to sip my tea, watch the sunrise and think.

Thank you Veterans.All of you.For all you have done.For all that you do.And for all that will come.

[Error: unknown template qotd]I was remarkably lucky.I started reading before I started walking and my parents encouraged and supported me in reading everything.My grandmother was a reading teacher at my first elementary school and she would bring home books for me before I started school.This made a setback though, by the time I started kindergarten I had read almost all of the books in the school library. I was also reading on an 8th grade level by the time I was in the first grade.My parents read too me and with me. Robert Asprin, Spider Robinson and Erma Bombeck were often our bed time stories. It was amazing.I never had to hide anything. I truly feel sorry for kids that have to hide books of any kind from their parents.I feel even worse for school, communities and nations that forbid books to their children.

Do you ever find those people in your life who you mesh with?The people for whom there need be no words?But when they do speak you feel a resonance with the sounds of their soul more than their words?Everyone has times that they think, "I wish so-and so was here." But have you ever felt that retroactively?Have you met someone, then thought about moments in your life and wish that they had been there?There are those people.You are those people...for me.I am sure you are that person for others. There is a quality in you that is deep as oceans. It has a connection with the universe that is mystical. I feel that when I am in your presence. With you as the sea and mech_angel the moon carrying your tides. It is breathtaking.I am honored to be the butterfly that sometimes flaps her wings in your reality.

Write something for me, that encompasses the mood, the emotion, the feeling of Fall. Two necessary components: Fall and Me. A feeling of me, a thought about me, a way you see me, something you want from me. "Just for me. Post it in your journal so everyone else can see it, too. A sentence, a paragraph. Nanofiction. Short story. A scene, dialogue, a picture described, a moment, anything. Long or short. But it's got to be just for me. Tell the world you wrote it for me, even. Mine.

"Then feel free to put this up in your own journal, and I'll reciprocate."

Write something for me, that encompasses the mood, the emotion, the feeling of Fall. Two necessary components: Fall and Me. A feeling of me, a thought about me, a way you see me, something you want from me. "Just for me. Post it in your journal so everyone else can see it, too. A sentence, a paragraph. Nanofiction. Short story. A scene, dialogue, a picture described, a moment, anything. Long or short. But it's got to be just for me. Tell the world you wrote it for me, even. Mine.

"Then feel free to put this up in your own journal, and I'll reciprocate."

In case you haven't heard tonight is the second (and final) night of screenings for the 48 Hour Film Project at The Portage Theater.What happens when you give 35 teams 48 hours to write, shoot, edit and submit a short film? Oh, and you assign them a genre randomly. And one more thing- you give them a prop, character and line that must be included in the film?Well, it is the 48 Hour Film Project.For a measly 10 bucks you can check out 16 of these super short films tonight.

(And them vote for MIM Films "2-2-2-9" as the best of...I'm in that one :-) )

So the short of it:What: The 48 Hour Film Project ScreeningWhen- Thurs Jun 26 Group A- 7:00pm Fri June 27 Group B- 7:00pmWhere: The Portage Theater- 4050 W Milwaukee- Chicago, Il 60601How Much: 10.00- CASH ONLY Tickets go on Sale 1 hour prior to the screening.