I used to loathe my very existence. Now I loathe my past.
A year ago things were different; they were happy and right. I was top pupil of my master; a learned conjurer named Jasper Huron. A much wiser man than me, for certain. I had a wonderful gift. The gift to understand conjuration magic like no other. That all changed one dreadful night.
I grew arrogant with my own self-importance. I read from a scroll forbidden by my master. This scroll summoned a creature that could not be controlled by a novice. I knew as much and so created a circle of binding to force the creature to my will. Were that my will were strong enough my friends could have been saved…
It took me several days to create the binding circle and prepare everything for the summoning. I did this in the cellar of an abandoned warehouse near the edge of town. When everything was ready I stole the summoning scroll from my master's chambers and dashed to the cellar. With complete confidence I read from the scroll. Never faltering in my vocals or somatics, and the beast was summoned! Its form blurred before me, yet it stood still. Its dark and sleek coat shone in the candle-lit chamber. How wonderful to look at this panther-like creature that I had brought forth! I barely contained my excitement through it all. My moment of triumph suddenly became my moment of shame.
The blurring beast broke through my binding, overpowering my will and knocking me unconscious. I find it hard to describe the next few minutes. My body remained in the cellar, but my conscious awoke inside the beast's mind! I knew its thoughts and felt its anger at those that would bind it. By now it had made its way out of the warehouse.
Though it was late at night some townsfolk happened by the beast. Certain that it was harmful and without asking questions the people attacked it. Filled with the rage of its capture the creature defended itself with deadly force. People screamed in pure terror as the beast felled their fellows. By Kharmani I will never forget their cries. The screams brought more people out of their houses, soon the warning bell was ringing and the militia gathered to face the creature. Two of my peers where among the fighters. Tallwyn and Paulo…
They met their deaths, all of them. The taste of blood was thick in my mouth. The taste of my father among them…
I could feel blood flowing through the creature's body. Its heart beating. Its claws sink into flesh. The creature's thoughts were not as fearsome for it was as scared as the townsfolk. It wanted nothing of this—only to be with its own kind and to hunt its prey. My mind began to plummet. My father killed by my device, many of the fighters, my two friends… I could not bear this...
Master Jasper made it to the scene. Determination marked his entire face as he began casting a spell. A moment later it was over.
My mind was returned to my body where I lay in a heap. It was not until morning that Master Jasper and the others found me. It was then that I learned that Jasper transported the beast back to where I summoned it. It was free of the ordeal, but I was not. I was locked in prison for my crime of casting magic beyond my control. My fate was sure to be death or worse. The people that once awed in my aptitude now spit upon my humbled form.
That next day and night I lay in a heap, miserable in my own turbulent mind. Hoping to find answers for the unanswerable. Through the mercy of Maser Jasper I was not killed. He convinced the others to banish me. Before letting me go he cast a curse on me to appease the town. The curse forbid me from casting magic until I was forgiven. My precious art was taken from me, but I did not care so much for that at the time. I was deep in sorry for my family and myself. I never saw my mother and I hope to never have to face her.
I was paraded through town and tossed out of the gate. People stoned me and spoiled me all the way. Somehow I stayed alive. I walked away from the town along the road. That night I fell in exhaustion near the roadside. Hours later I found myself wrapped in a warm blanket near a fire several yards from the road. A pack of supplies and fresh clothes were waiting my inspection. Inside the pack I found my spellbook. At the time I knew not what to say. I was confused. It had to be Master Jasper. Who else could have done this for me? I thought Jasper despised me, but he showed only kindness. As I think back he knew I tortured myself worse than anyone could. He knew I had learned a lesson that no one should have to. I believe he felt that he failed in teaching me properly, and that he had some part to play in the blame. But I still believe it to be my arrogance that killed my family and friends.
After traveling for a week I happened upon a warrior camped along the road I traveled. I explained to him that I was on a journey to find myself. He offered to travel together as he was on a similar journey. He seemed a kind-hearted sort and took me under his wing. Utho the Mighty was truly a magnificent warrior and soon became a good friend. We spoke little of our pasts and more of the future. I did not tell him of my magic talent, but rather that I was a simple warrior. Looking at my daggers, Utho scoffed and bade me learn the use of a sword. I agreed to take up the elegant rapier that he handed me and I actually began to feel good about it. Finding a new art to experience, I thought less of my past and less of magic. Swordplay became my passion.
I know now that my skill with magic far exceeds my skill with steel. Though Utho was a wonderful teacher I am no warrior. I journeyed with Utho for the next year. All the while he taught me the intricacies of dueling. Although I had a passion for dueling I really had no potential to be proficient doing it. But the simple actions took my mind away from my past and magic. I noticed that as the months went by my fear of casting spells lessened and I felt the curse grow weaker. I often reflected on the action of Master Jasper and how he saved me. Until recently I did not realize the nature of the curse. I realized that I needed to forgive myself for the curse to dissipate. With my revelation I attempted to cast a spell and it worked! The feeling of being forgiven at that moment filled me with such powerful emotions. The curse had lifted, but my fear of conjuring creatures remains until this day. Never again will I attempt spells beyond my power.
Shortly after I explained my past to Utho. He was shocked to learn I was a mage, but began to understand why my fighting skills were so terrible. We both understood that my journey of discovery was both ending and beginning. He needed to continue his path and I needed to walk down my own path. This was only 2 weeks back, though it seems a lifetime ago.
After provisioning ourselves at the nearby town of Wereskalot we went our separate ways. Utho went South towards Challsea and I traveled north.
Utho asked me to carry the rapier with me, and so I did. I journeyed North from there following a trail blazed in crusty snow. I discovered a campsite of two terribly battered cabins. One showed signs of fire damage. I made sure to camp away from this place fearing that the marauders would be nearby.
The next morning I continued my travels when suddenly I was falling through the snow. Quick thinking forced a spell from my lips and I floated harmlessly to the cavern floor below. The shaft appeared some 50 feet up. After lighting my lantern I decided to explore these caves for an exit. What dumb luck.