Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Monday, December 03, 2007

Publisher To Get New EyesWe've kept things quiet up until now, but back in November, when DST went off, Holabird Advocate Publisher, Jerry Hinkle had a little wreck. He grabbed his glasses off of the night stand, then they slipped out of his hand. He got out of bed to retrieve them and instead he stepped right on them. He straightened then out as best he could, but it's a matter of time before the left lens falls out and shatters leaving him blind in that eye. So he got an appointment at the Walmart Vision Center on Wednesday at 2pm. He was about due for new glasses anyhow, since it has been three years since he's had an eye exam. Hopefully they won't put that burning stuff in his eyes.Rev Hinkle May Book May WeddingAs regular Readers, and maybe a couple of Hinkletons, know that Jerry Hinkle is an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church. It seems that Jerry's favorite redhead is getting married on May 3, but is in need of a minister. Jerry has offered to help in this capacity. the bride, whose name is being withheld in case anyone else tries to steal the booking, is also in need of 200 hot wings for the reception. Rev. Hinkle is sure the Lord will provide a means of securing them.Too Many Women?People are getting tired of Jerry Hinkle complaining about all of the female attention he has been getting. It seems that it's always more than one as well. First there was the "Sister Act" quartet a while back. This past weekend, Jerry volunteered to be an usher at the Pepsi Theater so he could get to see "Nuncrackers" for free. He arrived at 6:30, complete with funeral suit and bow tie, ready for action. He was told to sit and wait until 7pm, when he was to open the doors. Not a minute goes by, and three lovely young ladies arrive. They too had volunteered to usher. Needless to say, Jerry was not sitting alone. One of the ladies said Jerry looked "Spiffy". We have to take her word for it, because nobody took a picture of him. After everyone was seated, Jerry and the ladies got a free small popcorn, and a free small drink for their efforts on top of free admission. they darn near showed up late for the show. Jerry sat apart from the ladies during the play, because he didn't want to press his luck. As it turns out, they didn't want to press his luck either. At least he'll have the memory. All of us here at the Holabird Advocate think someone needs to tell our Publisher that a group date does not mean he gets a whole group of women all to himself. While he's at it, he should get a few guy friends to hang out with sometime as well.Postcard From Sonoma Stateby Don GrungioOh! My buddies and I just got finished reading your article on that girl; your supposed "best friend!" Man! You should ask this chick out! Who knows, in 20 years, she could be Mrs. Katy Hinkle and y'all will be two like-souled 40 year olds growing old 2gether on a farm in SD, with kids off in college somewhere (in Northern Cali, hopefully!!!)-Peace, my brotha-from-anotha-mutha!-Mr. GrungioCool @$$ Stuff From HolabirdSubmitted by Mary HinkleThis is great! It may become the #1 Christmas song this year! These guys have really got it together....good song...click herehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAckfn8yiAQ