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Tuesday, 28 May 2013

As if one can predict one's own predicament, hence beware of what you say, I was swamped with work on my birthday.

When you get to my age, after the siblings and your child singing happy birthday on We Wish You A Merry Christmas tune, the next ones to be wishing you birthday are: your suppliers (so you continue to work for them), your insurance company (may I live long and not claim my insurance prematurely), and the ones usually being real nice and attentive are the bankers (so forever will you invest with them). These are truly sinful indulgence from those lovely boy bankers. I need a diet plan STAT!

Yesterday was dark and gloomy, the supposedly dry season took a sudden turn into what looked like a start of the monsoon season. That old rule of months ending with "ber" like September, October, November, and December are cold, windy, rainy months still hold true. But now we get those "ber" months in non "ber" months. Sunny and hot one day and cold and rainy the next.

After an epic fail of showing nicely in front of my old relatives (who showed up unexpectedly, we're talking about people who live in another country and out of town, coming in unnoticed and they think that's just awesome, NOT), especially when I was so busy, I might've missed out combing my hair (ok, not might've but actually did not).

On to the review! The little girl started bothering me about seeing "Epic" since she saw online that it premiered on 24th May. So, that was 4 days of nagging and screaming about "Epic". I used that opportunity to teach her about going with the flow and letting go of obsession on outcome. I would say that it's the hardest lesson to learn and not surprised that many adults aren't able to do that still.

Set during the day at the time of the summer solstice which coincide with the once in 100 years' lunar eclipse at the night of the full moon, immediately throws the audience for a magical ride.
Despite the deja-vous that I had from certain scenes, like oh, that's like "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids", or hmm, that feels like "Alice in Wonderland", I must say that when you watch animation in 3D, there are so many things to focus on that it just takes your breath away and this movie is exactly that, the backdrop were the lush forest somewhere out there and with it, were all the weird and wonderful creatures that inhibit the magical place. Queen Tara for example was so much Barbie like that I wonder, is that really how Beyonce would look like, animated?

Queen Tara choosing the pod.

The messages that has been coming through to our little audiences are these:

- "just because you haven't seen something, it doesn't mean it's not there", Bomba the Stomper (Jason Sudeikis)

Now, in light to the recent Public Disclosure on UFO, I feel that our children are being prepared for something huge. As seen in the "Croods" before as well, the same messages prevail. It may be another decade until we actually being shown anything solid, to do with colonies living in another dimension, vibrating at a higher frequency than us, but these animators are laying the brickwork for our kids so they won't be surprised. We are so waiting for that day to come, but remember, only those ones who believe will experience the magic first.

Friday, 17 May 2013

The disappearance of children with Autism (like Mikaela Lynch)and the subsequent discovery of their bodies near a body of water, often makes me wonder about why they are attracted by the water.
Is it the shimmering reflection of the sun rays on the water that makes it irresistible for them to touch it? Not knowing the depth or what may lie on the shallowness, jagged rocks, slippery surfaces, endless possibilities of situation that can turn the simple curiousness of these little children into a deadly incident.

Like most mothers, I introduced water as early as 6 months old, to get her to play with the feeling of weightlessness when in a pool. Often gave her baths and showed her that water is harmless when we know how to swim. As she grew and knew Science and Maths, I explained to her how the knowledge can help her decide if she can walk or float in the pool.

However, no matter how good I am in the water, splashing in all kinds of styles, when she goes in, she clings to me. There are times when she takes courage and holds the floater, flipping her feet, trying to remember when to take breath, but co-ordination was never her forte.

One warm sunny day on a vacation, we lounged at the pool and took a fun swim with the single bed floater and pushed her around the pool. The temperature was lukewarm, the water was cool, sunset was soon and it was very calm. Some teenagers were being silly and started to join us at the pool. We decided to just soak up the sun on the giant crescent shape bed-swings sporadically situated at the pool sides.

As I drifted to an afternoon snooze with her on my side, she slipped off the bed-swing and told me quietly that she wants to see the big dolphin floater on the pool side. I immediately became alert and sat up to finish the bottled water while watching her approached the pool at the corner of my eye.

She walked without looking back, confident that she didn't fancy to swim some more, I stayed on the swing, drinking away my water. The next thing I saw just as I finished my last drop of water was her hand above the water splashing, obviously gasping for air and unable to touch the pool ground. I took off my robe, ran as fast as I possibly could, disregarding my cellulite and everything else that can possibly jiggle as I leaped into the water to grab her. I hugged her, told her to cough out the water, to stay calm, take deep breaths, and I saw fear in her eyes as I never before. I stayed with her in the water for some minutes after. Talked to her, got her to take a few more deep breaths before we did a few exhales underwater.
Something told me inside that it was a close call.

As we got out of the water, two Korean girls giggled on the pool side. Perhaps it was amusing to see. I was just glad that I reacted fast enough. They did not have a clue what I go through everyday. Only mothers with kids in the spectrum really know that it's never rainbow and cotton candy. Most days are just poop on walls or in the mouth. Loud decibels and banging are our norms. When it's quiet, then probably the fever visiting because the word "rest" is not in her dictionary. But we get by, we learn to live with Autism, and the best thing is, we found that by accepting Autism into our life, instead of shooing it out of the door and trying the old "not disciplined enough" method of teaching, we became the better part of ourselves. Yes, we're a lot crazy sometime, bet you wish you want to be on this side of the brain often, because here, others' judgement do not matter.

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Today morning, we went to visit a newborn baby. Much to our excitement, we found the 2 days old baby in the same room as the mother (other hospital had a different policy, babies would be kept in separate room to give mothers time out).

The superstar.

We were so happy to greet this special girl. The energy in that room when we came were so positive, so much love, radiating and reminding us once again that we were born FREE.

Society imposes on us: who we are, who we have to become, who we can love. When we were born, we only knew of what we are and where we came from. We are souls experiencing this human body, the little and fragile human anatomy. We came from LOVE and we only have LOVE to give to others.

Yet, we grow up only to realise that separation exists and have been very much embedded in society. The lies and the shackles society created, it breaks my heart to see many souls forgetting where they came from.

I'm sharing this video below in a hope that you will too, understand someday. Yes, freedom is a choice and it is yours to choose.

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

When I was young, I stuck a sticker on my mother's dresser that says "I Love You". That was on valentine's day and my dad thought it was tacky. He did not want to hug mom or kiss her in front of the kids.

The sticker was peeled off 6 years ago when I was going through my court separation process.

Yes, I thought, love is really a marketing gimmick for those who think they're in love, got married and later found themselves stuck with a partner they don't even know, let alone really love.

As I raised a child alone, I realised that love could only possibly exists between a parent and a child. Blood ties are stronger than anything else.

That's when I know the reason why some men will never marry a woman who has been married before, the same reason why some men can never love another man's child.

This made me question, if some men are so adamant about having their own child, then why some made children, then ran away from their responsibilities? Or use their work as an excuse to be an absent father? Or only want the sweetness of raising children but not the gruesome truth about waking up at night and making a bottle?

Then those men who are adamant about having their own children, from their own bloodline, they are:

- very selfish (stubborn is already a trait in them)

- afraid of the responsibility (then how would I ever trust this type of men with their own blood line?)

- having no compassion (won't make a good father even to his own blood line)

- lacking love themselves (there aren't enough love to distribute to existing human, i.e. the child from the other man, so why would there be enough love to give to his own blood line?)

After much soul journey, I finally decided these:

- some love are very much 3 dimensional. The type of men that are so adamant about having their own blood line continuing are simply the ones that have not awakened to the fact that we all came from the ultimate source of love.

These men are too wrapped up in the things that can only be seen with the naked eye. His job, his business, his friends, those will come first because hey, even the love that you talk to him about, cannot be seen, until it is proven once you conceive his child and slave over him.

- the kind of love that you want to have and be, is the one that connects at the soul. Hence the word "soul mate" that has its usage abused for as long as language existed.

This love, is so rare that sometimes, it does not exists in one's current lifetime. Depending on what you've signed up for before you come to earth, your soul mate (s) can decide whether to contribute to your lessons (say, if the lesson is of acceptance, then he'll probably bring in a set of his own kids instead of just you bringing in yours) or whether to just be a companion (supportive parents/friends). If you are going to face a tough life, then your soul mate can decide to be your devoted life partner to get you through that lifetime.

I can go on with the permutation of cases where soul mates are meeting in one lifetime, but the point being is that despite what the masses think on what love is, it has nothing to do with marriage or physical aspects of it.

In fact, much of it has to do with one's relationship with one's higher self. That aspect of us, has direct connection to the ultimate Source of love, therefore, we need not be afraid that there's not enough love to go around to other people's children. As long as we connect ourselves to the Source, we're going to be LOVE ourselves.

How do we do that? To love and to feel loved? We raise our vibration by accessing higher state of consciousness. It is so much easier to do that now since people are awakening. People realise that some partnership has to break to make way for higher learning.

I know some will stay adamant to their 3 dimensional living because their fear of the unknown is greater than their willingness (or ability) to change for that matter. For a small step of changing one's perception is a big step in raising one's frequency.

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Gardening in the city is definitely a complex art. Much contemplation on how to make it work with the growing "family" and how hot it has been lately (flies comes with organic gardening), we decided to do it vertically.

A hole drilled at the bottom and a used wet shirt tied into the bottom of the top bucket, connecting it to the bottom bucket to ensure water continuation

The lettuces at the end of their careers

For memory sake, we keep some in their original state.

The empty buckets re-used for fragrant south east Asian lime trees. Have to wait till next year to expect any yummy treats.

The vegetables are sprayed by onion concoction that we made by mixing used onion (because you have to finish an onion once you opened it, otherwise it becomes toxic to your body, if you store it. This became a perfect candidate for organic pest repellent) with water and putting it into a pump.

As with the flies, I once saw a friend's farm having a used bottle, halfway filled with cow dung and somehow, the flies just flew right inside and became intoxicated by the smell and never could come out.
Now, I don't fancy having a cow dung smell in my backyard, so I talk to the flies and just make a pact, "You guys stay in your territory, rabbit manure and all, I stay in my territory, nobody gets hurt.". It works, LOL.

Two days of back breaking work but very content at how spacious my backyard is once again.