10 Midseason Shows We CAN Wait To See – THANK YOU, YahooTV!

December 8, 2011

Happy Thursday!!!!!!

Today, will hopefully be HAPPY because I get to see the Pittsburgh Steelers play the Cleveland Browns tonight on television. The Browns suck and the Steelers are great, so it should be enjoyable to watch. That is unless the Steelers decide to give me an ulcer like that game vs. the Kansas City Chiefs a couple weeks ago on that Sunday evening. Anyway, BLACK and GOLD!

I’m starting this post crazy late… so I’m not going to write about what I was planning on writing about – that will be for tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow will be filled with many appetizing pictures. That is unless there is some insanity that goes on between now and then and that derails my posting.

Anyway… because of this late start… I am stealing an article from YahooTV that I just looked over… I read it and now you will sort of with my thoughts instead of their thoughts, which makes it 100x – 1000x – 1000000000000x better…

10 TV SHOWS THAT ARE COMING ON TV AND THEY MAY BE OK OR THEY COULD BE TERRIBLE!

That is entirely my idea for the title of the post though. These Yahoo people are way too positive because some of these shows sound baaaaaaaad like a sheep. And here … we … go!

10. House of Lies

I’ll watch this show.

Kristen Bell is arguably a perfect human being and the arguably part is because she allowed Dax Shephard’s penis to go inside her, but I can’t be too mad at her for that because girls are just silly creatures who every so often put some questionable penis inside themselves. It is just the silliest. Anyway, I love Kristen Bell. Don Cheadle is also an amazing human being and Ben Schwartz is the guy who plays Jean Ralphio on Parks and Rec. The show is also on Showtime I believe, which means that there will be BOOBIES on this show. And there has been some promos of Kristen Bell doing a strip tease for a guy … AND I’M WATCHING THIS SHOW!!!! Anyway, it is about these people working together in an office I guess. Whatever.

NEXT!!!

9. Touch

That is an unfortunate name for a TV show and/or the title of a picture that only has a young child and a creepy Kiefer Sutherland in it. So, I think it is only natural to assume that Touch is about Kiefer molesting this boy over and over again and possibly other boys…. BUT!… you would be incorrect. This television show is from Tim Kring of Heroes infamy and I will not watch this show because of that. The show is about this kid having like crazy math skills and Kiefer is the kid’s dad and… BORING… I actually liked this TV show better when Kiefer was touching the kid and the guy from Heroes wasn’t involved. Not watching this show. People will say something like “oh, I love Kiefer” and I will say something back like “oh, so is every copy of Flatliners damaged and unwatchable because if you like Kiefer then GO FUCKING WATCH FLATLINERS!” And that is why strangers shouldn’t talk to me… NEXT!!!!!

8. Good Christian Belles

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOpe!

Not watching this. This is supposed to be the successor to Desperate Housewives and I didn’t watch that show… much, whatever I saw a bunch of episodes, so sue me, it was like a cultural juggernaut and whatever I was a big Sports Night fan and I like Felicity Huffman and Eva Longoria was hot and every likes Teri Hatcher – whatever you watched it too… either way, Desperate Housewives was on for FAR too long and this show doesn’t need to exist. I like Leslie Bibb, but that doesn’t mean I have to watch her show… speaking of big blonde boobed suburban wife stereotypes – Suburgatory was great last night. I think this was possibly its best episode last night. I love the addition of Jay Mohr although he hasn’t done too much yet, but there is a lot of potential there. Definitely a funny outing by them… of course, the rest of the ABC line-up nailed it as I think Modern Family was a good episode and Happy Endings is the best show on TV that is not on NBC on Thursdays.

NEXT!!!!

7. Magic City

Uhhhhh… do you like Mad Men? Then rewatch some Mad Men. This show is a period piece set in the ’50s about Jeffrey Dean Morgan owning a hotel in Miami with mobsters and strippers and honestly who gives a fuck? If we’re doing something set in Miami then do Miami in the 70’s into the 80’s when cocaine drastically changed that area… for the better. I mean they all became millionaires over night and the city began building and building and building. If I were you, I would watch Mad Men and the documentary Cocaine Cowboys. If you haven’t seen them then you need to. If you need anything else then watch Godfather II for the Cuban scenes and then watch Godfather I because it is better than II. NEXT!!!!

6. The River

SKIIIIIIIIP!!!! It’s a paranormal TV show set on a river or swamplands or something and no one cares or is watching. I can’t remember the name of either TV show, but around the time Heroes started there were two other paranormal sci-fi styled shows that started and both were canceled well before the audience got to meet whatever aliens or whatever the answer to the show was. This will be another one of those shows. You’ll get no closure watching this show because it will be canceled. I’ll put money on that… NEXT!!!!

5. Luck

Speaking of betting, this is Dustin Hoffman and his spirit animal is an aardvark and he is back on television with a new show on HBO about gambling on horses. Great? I guess. I don’t really know if I care or not about this. I’ll give it a shot like I did with every HBO show. I’ve watched at least a couple episodes of any show that has been on HBO minus Hung, which I could only sit through 17 or so minutes of the pilot when they introduced Thomas Jane’s kids and I never watched a single second since. Good decision by me. This show is written by David Milch who was the brains behind Deadwood, which was an unbelievably good show if you’ve never watched it. So… I’ll give this a chance. Why not? NEXT!!!!!

4. Alcatraz

Yes, that is Hurley from Lost, so take a wild guess who is making this TV show. YOU’RE RIGHT! I can hear your thoughts and you said J.J. Abrams. I mean not to sound too mean to Jorge Garcia, but his acting career will almost entirely be whether or not J.J. Abrams keeps hiring him. If I was Jorge, I would make sure to always give J.J. Abrams something every time I see him. Like a candy bar, a cup of coffee, a Snapple, a sun flower… whatever. Something. Something to remind Abrams that I’m a good guy and that it is always great to have me around. Also, if I was Jorge, I would probably bang any and all Hurley groupies I could get from Lost. I mean why not? That’s what all bands did in the 80’s and sure it led to them doing drugs and stuff, but it sounds like fun. Did you ever read The Dirt by Motley Crue? So good. Anyway, this show is about ghosts from Alcatraz coming back to life as the criminals they were and committing crimes… and you probably wish I never told you what it was about because it sounds HORRIBLE. Not watching. NEXT!!!!!

3. Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23

I’m watching. First off, I watch Cougartown and Suburgatory, so I know that ABC can come out with some random ass comedies. This looks specifically interesting because, yes, that is James Van Der Beek and, yes, he sort of plays an exaggerated version of himself. That’s something I would watch already. The rest? Why not? Two cute chicks and a bunch of stand-ins for The Big Bang Theory. I can sit through a few episodes of that. I mean I watched THREE episodes of Whitney. The first two episodes were the first two they showed, so I gave them a chance and then randomly a couple weeks later I decided not to mute my TV and I watched another episode and it was still terrible, but there you go. I have given Whitney 90 minutes of my life, I can give these people at least 90. What’s the show about? People, young people, young people being sarcastic and bitchy I suppose. It’s what all shows are about in the end. NEXT!!!!

2. Awake

Jason Isaacs is a detective who was in a car accident and now he’s crazy and he is living in two different worlds – 1. his wife is dead and his kid is alive and the other is vice versa (not the Fred Savage movie). It sounds interesting, but it is also on NBC and I haven’t really enjoyed an NBC hour long show in awhile. I’m not sold on most one hour shows on network TV. Either way, for people who do like network 1 hour shows then give this a shot. It sounds interesting as mentioned and Jason Isaacs is a good actor. I would suggest seeing his previous TV show Brotherhood which was on Showtime and rocked. Great TV show. I am giving you all great suggestions today by the way. NEXT!!!!

1. Smash

Yeah? No. Yahoo loves this show and I doubt I will watch a single second of it. Yes, that is Debra Messing and Angelica Huston and they will be on NBC pretending to be putting on a Broadway play about Marilyn Monroe (Enough already with this fucking woman! She was in Some Like It Hot, she fucked JFK while he was alive and married, seemingly fucked Bobby and definitely fucked Joe DiMaggio, married Arthur Miller which I do think is great, and died … she was beautiful… I get it… let’s move on). Yahoo thinks this will be amazing with Broadway singers and all the drama that Messing and Huston can muster. I don’t want to see any of this, so I won’t be most likely. But have fun with it.

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3 Responses to “10 Midseason Shows We CAN Wait To See – THANK YOU, YahooTV!”

Alcatraz, I am watching. Especially if it comes on the same night as American Horror Story because I already have to set aside that night as holy and sacred and I can’t afford to give up any more nights to obsessively watched TV shows.