Thursday, April 26, 2007

I met a former co-worker for lunch today. I never worked closely with M, but I admired her from afar because she seemed so wise, so compassionate, so self-aware. A few weeks ago, when I asked another friend if she knew of a good career counselor, she suggested M -- who isn't really an official career counselor, but who apparently is good to talk to about transitions.

"Good to talk to" -- definitely.

"Life altering" -- perhaps!

M did a lot of listening, bless her heart. I talked about the work that spoke most directly to my passion (producing FUEL and CHILL), about the work that I found most creative and exhilerating (designing Blue's Clues games), about the work in which I felt most out of my social and intellectual element (Microsoft), and about the work that most challenged my patience and self-esteem (my latest position). M offered such wisdom, and I so appreciate it! She suggested that, at this point in my career it's less about bullet points on a resume and more about leadership skills. She also suggested that I won't find a job on Monster.com or Craigslist (I knew that), but instead I'll probably find it through very personal networking channels -- which I'm sure is absolutely true. (I did spend the week completing a very extensive application for an Executive Director position at a VERY cool Seattle non-profit that focuses on healthy kids.)

Then M gave me a book called Transitions -- Making Sense of Life's Changes, by William Bridges, which is completely relevant to my current situation. "Every transition begins with an ending," it says. "We have to let go of old things before we can pick up the new -- not just outwardly, but inwardly, where we keep our connections to people and places that act as definitions of who we are." It goes on: "First there is an ending, then a beginning, and an important empty or fallow time in between. That is the order of things in nature. Leaf-fall, winter, and then green emerges again from dead wood."

So I need to not be fearful of this ending and I need to trust that it will bring exactly the right new beginning. Most of all I need to accept and fully believe in this "fallow time in between." Somehow I need to work on it, but not rush it -- even if we DO have three kids starting college a little over a year from now! I work hard and I'll continue to work hard... not just on finding a job, but in finding myself.

2 comments:

You will be fine. Parents weren't put on this earth to put their kids through college, they should enjoy their dotage instead. Listen to the Sunshine Song again and realize all the things you have done right and be philosophical. Pack the children off to Europe where college is free. Work in your garden--it will be there long after Bill Gates is forgotten.