The source of inspiration and motivation for me in music, trapeze, and other mind-body work, is the constant process of self evaluation and change. There’s always something new to explore and always the excitement of reaching for new heights (both metaphorically and literally). Right now, the next area for me to explore is going to be the shoulder blades! Lack of clarity in this area is currently holding me back in my trapeze swing, so I’d really like to turn that around and make it a new strength.

While I’m clear about the structure, function and size of the sterno-clavicular joint (where the collar bone meets the breast bone–and the only place where the arm structure skeletally attaches to the torso); I’m still foggy about the movement of my shoulder blades. Engaging the muscles of my back that move my arm structure (particularly the trapezius) when and how I want is difficult for me. I’ve never spent much time training these muscles and it shows in lack of strength, and (more notably) in the lack of sensitivity (meaning that I’m not very effective at discerning the movement/engagement of this area).

Lack of engagement of back muscles.

Improved engagement of back muscles.

I’m excited about this new project! I believe it can help to make my trapeze swing easier and HIGHER 🙂 !!!! Perhaps it would make flute playing easier as well!

I have gained performance experience and insight over the course of the Intensive Flying Workshop at TSNY that informs my music-making. As I start the new year I am celebrating these changes. Here are a few of my favorite things…

Don’t underestimate your potential. Never did I imagine what I would ever climb the stairs to the board let alone do a pullover while flying.

Confidence – Breaking down metal barriers has eliminated fears and self-doubt. I now embrace tasks and responsibilities with confidence and am open to the limitless possibilities of life. I accept that I may not succeed at everything I set my mind to and that is okay.

Joy – The freedom and joy I experience while flying permeates life. I look to the challenges, obstacles and successes ahead with optimism, keeping in mind that I something new and unexpected might be fun.

Learning – When I received my Master’s Degree I expected to know a lot, only to realize how much more there was to learn about playing and music when I left school. Learning is a process, in some cases a lifelong process. As I grow and change so will my approaches and skills. This is one of the greatest joys of my work.

Patience – It takes time to learn motor skills. Some come easier than others. Enjoy the process.

Forgiveness – Accept failure just as you celebrate success. The road to success is paved with many mistakes that are learning opportunities.

The Head Leads – In the early weeks of the IFW the instructors stressed the importance of the head leading the direction of the body’s trajectory. With so many things to be thinking about, I found this challenging. I reminded myself of this concept in the gym and during daily activities, it now happens more naturally! This helps me to move more easily in everything I do.

Life is a Laboratory – Use life to practice the skills you need. The gym has become a practice studio to strengthen the movements I use in trapeze. Learning to move in new ways reminds me of the infinite range of movements I use at the gym and throughout the day. Tuning into movement has enhanced everything I do.

Owning Wellness – Tuning into movement and physical health has reinforced my commitment to being responsive to messages the body offers. Instead of waiting until discomfort or injury sets in, I actively monitor the sensations of muscles and joints. If something does not feel right, I take the time to investigate, and cultivate healing through rest and gentle movement explorations learned in Feldenkrais “Bones for Life” classes, and seek medical intervention if necessary.

The Intensive Flying Workshop is over, so it is back to regular flying trapeze class for a few weeks. At the rig yesterday I continued refining the movements of the “pullover, pump, shoot” and my swing. Yesterday’s class was lead by a different team of instructors who took a fresh look at my skills. Their perspectives and individual teaching styles helped me to look at my skills from a new perspective. I didn’t anticipate how helpful this would be. Their suggestions helped me face the challenges in different ways, and consider different options for movement coordination. They each suggested subtle changes to how I was moving through the air which resulted in greater movement ease! Yeah!

This reminds me how important it is to seek insight from others as we prepare to perform. How often do we prepare in isolation and struggle with challenges alone? Approaching learning in this way, we rob ourselves of the opportunity and benefits of a fresh insight. The very insight which might be the key to overcoming an obstacle, or unleashing expression. We all need to take a chance by putting ourselves out there, look at our playing from a different perspective with the help of a fresh look at how we do what we do.

What is it like to enjoy being the moment? To want nothing more? (except more time on the trapeze…) I think I have found my utopia! The feeling is indescribable, everything I need is within me.

I can tell you… Pushing my limits by signing up for trapeze lessons has enabled me to overcome fears by breaking down imaginary limitations created by my mind. I love experiencing movement, feeling my muscles after a workout, thinking about limitless potential, being with my family and friends. Limitless potential is what I feel these days. Who knows what the day will bring, I’m ready! I invite you to break down your limits, move out of your comfort zone by trying something new. You never know what opportunity awaits.

I am thrilled to report that I am back on the bar!!!!! after a very long three weeks off due to an intercostal injury. [The intercostals are the muscles that lie between the ribs and are responsible for moving the ribs during breathing.] I will have an opportunity to make up the classes I missed, but I’ve still been concerned about falling behind. I’ve been trying to think of ways to practice away from the bar. When I need to practice away from my flute I study the score (not very applicable to flying trapeze), and I practice the music mentally. I find mental practice very difficult to do for trapeze because of my low level of experience with moving in the context of a “restoring force” (the force that is responsible for the oscillating action of the pendulum (i.e. the swing +me)).

I decided my best chance of practice away from the bar was to engage my mirror neurons by watching trapeze videos; including the videos that Vanessa has been sharing with me of her working on the Pullover Pump Shoot trick in class. A mirror neuron is a ‘brain cell’ that fires both during an action and while observing the same action performed by another. These neurons can “mirror” the behavior of another, as though the observer were itself acting. Many scientists think that mirror neurons may be important for understanding the actions of other people, and for learning new skills by imitation. This is something that musicians have understood for years–it’s why methods like Suzuki are so popular, and why music teachers sometimes require their students to attend concerts. Thank goodness for the mind-body connection! Even if our bodies are temporarily out of commission, there’s still so much we can do with our brains!

Today at class I got to learn a crazy new trick. I had a good first run and an even better second run. I started to try to refine my movements on the third and fourth run with no success. In a moment of desperation (desperate to head back in a direction of improvement), I had the intuition that I needed to just cut loose, and go at it in a much more physically aggressive, care-free way. This intuition is one I’ve frequently backed away from for fear of making a mistake, or worse, hurting myself; but this time I decided to follow my intuition. The result was success. I took a step back in the correct direction and reached a new level with a critical aspect of the trick.

This experience caused me to wonder while I was practicing today: how frequently do I take risks when I am playing my flute? Do I play in a carefully calculated way all the time? Do I allow myself opportunities to sometimes follow my visceral intuitions and take new, large risks? What areas of my playing do I desire to push the edges further?