Friday, December 07, 2007

Ooops, I forgot to post.

Weeee! It's the Christmas season, at least for us... as we choose to celebrate the kiddo parts of the holiday, as well as a general and heartfelt prayer for peace. And we also like the Festival of Light, or Hanukkah. It's pretty, and I love the story behind the eight candles, as much as I actually know of it. It attests to my overall belief that if you have faith, things just turn out okay, and miracles can happen.And of course, we are approaching my FAVORITE holiday, the Winter Solstice. Many of you already know I love the Solstice. And really, every celebration and ritual that occurs at this time of year, regardless of religion, is derived from this astronomical event. So I've been thinking about how even in our darkest moments, if we have faith that things will be okay, that we are part of a greater plan? that light will return to our lives, often in brighter and bigger ways than we ever could have imagined.I read a little funny comment on McSweeney's Internet Tendencies recently : "The Year after the Year of Living Dangerously" = "The Year of Lying Very Still and Peeing In A Cup". It cracked me up, because I have that kind of sick sense of humor. Oh yeah. That year sucked, didn't it? But somehow fighting through all of that, overcoming the obstacles I had in front of me, and leaving behind things that were holding me back actually WORKED. I'm in a place I could never have imagined. It's not perfect, and it's not easy street by any means, but it's exactly where I am supposed to be right now, and I am grateful that I recognize that. I think the hardest times of my life have been when I wished so much that things were different. I refused to see the signs in front of me. I didn't listen to the messages and I failed to recognize the choices I was making. I was just waiting for something to get better, to change, to pull me out. By doing this I know now that I was missing important information all around me that was pointing me in the direction I was supposed to go. I pray that I can keep this ever-present in my mind and remain honest, open, and willing. So today is a fabulously cold Saturday afternoon. My daughter (!) and I both have sniffly colds, the house is drafty, and the laundry is piled up. We have a tiny bit of cash to make it 'til my next paycheck. But we have diapers and wipes, breastmilk (yay!) and toilet paper, so that more than makes up for it. We have people who love us and dutifully visit our Flickr page to see the ridiculously large number of pictures we take to document every fleeting moment of this wonderful time together. I know that if I am grateful for and open to the miracles that happen every day in my life, they will keep coming. That's so cool! And the year after the year after the year of living dangerously has been pretty great. I can't wait to see what 2008 brings.