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The Walking Dead Season Finale- 516 – Conquer

So, here we are. The end of the season. Good lord, this was a doozey. Here we go….

MORGAN! Where you been, dude? Awesome to see you! Did you get a good night’s sleep in that car? Nice rabbit’s foot. You can use all the luck you can get, right? Um, look out for the dude coming to join you for breakfast. He looks a little squirrelly. Or wolfy, as the case may be.

Morgan is a fucking zen master ninja. I love how he doesn’t make eye contact with either guy. Just makes sure to keep them both in his peripheral vision. He takes care of Wolf 1 and Wolf 2 and piles them into the car and honks the horn to get walkers to come and trap them in there. Genius.

Then….

Sigh. Daryl on his amazingly badass motorcycle in leather and Wayfarers. GUH. Have we ever seen Daryl wear sunglasses before? Norman Reedus never seems to take his off, but I don’t remember seeing Daryl in them. Not that this is a major plot point. It’s just pretty.

I do have to say, though, that it looked an awful lot like he was wearing old people shoes. I get it. Fashion is not a priority. But, really, Daryl. A nice motorcycle boot wouldn’t kill you.

Anyway. Daryl and Aaron pull over, grab their gear and head into the woods looking for good people to bring back to Alexandria.

Rick wakes up with approximately 150 butterfly bandages on his face and most likely a hell of a headache.

Michonne has been watching over him all night. She is unamused with his antics. Tells him that they’ve put Pete in another house. Rick gives her some excuse about why he didn’t tell her what was going on. She knows it’s bullshit.

Glenn, Carol and Abe come to visit. Carol immediately and hilariously gets on Rick’s ass about the gun.

They let him know that Deanna is planning a town meeting. Carol tells him what to say. Tells him to tell them the story that they want to hear, just like she’s been doing since they got there.

Well. Carol doesn’t mince words, does she?

Rick comes up with some crazeballs plan for them all to grab Deanna and her family and threaten them if the meeting goes badly. Because that will end well for everyone. GOVERNOR RICK. Michonne is wishing she could get away with smacking him in the back of the head with another rock.

Maggie goes to talk to Deanna. She tells her that turning the decision about whether Rick can stay over to the group is not leadership. Which is totally true. And she very politely makes sure that Deanna knows that as much pain as she is in about the loss of her son, Rick and their group have lost more. Lots and lots and lots more.

Maggie and Glenn are the Queen and King of politely telling people what’s what this season.

Reg (formerly known as Mr. Deanna), reminds Deanna that Michonne stopped Rick when he was losing his shit. When Maggie leaves, he follows her and makes sure she knows that he is going to try to talk Deanna into letting them all stay. He says, “Civilization starts when we stop running, live together, stop sending people away.” That sounds like it will be important down the road.

Cut to Sasha and her walker cart. She loads one on, takes him to a pit grave and starts pulling his arm to get him off the cart. PUSH, Sasha. DON’T PULL THE DECAYING FLESH. Ew. She ends up in the pit and takes a rest on top of the dead walkers. Kind of like she’s test driving death.

It’s kind of a beautiful shot, though.

Daryl and Aaron are tracking someone in the woods. They start talking about the people that got sent away. Aaron mentions it was two men and a woman. Their leader’s name was Davidson.

Want to bet we’ll be seeing Davidson next season?

He says that he, Aiden, and Nicholas, drove them out, gave them a day’s worth of food and water and left them. He says, “We got their guns. We had all their guns.” The emphasis kind of made it sound like Davidson and co. had an armory or something. Interesting.

Cut to Carol visiting Rick to replace his gun. She thinks Michonne was stupid to knock Rick out. Rick says he’s sick of lying. Carol pretty much pats his head and laughs at him.

Cut back to Daryl and Aaron. They’re watching a guy walk through a field. Wearing a red poncho. Look! An ACTUAL red shirt! Prepare to die, sir.

Rick heads home and Nicholas spies on Glenn from around the corner of his house. Because he’s a little WORM.

Glenn & Maggie talk about the meeting and how Maggie is talking to everyone trying to make sure they don’t vote Rick off the island. Glenn doesn’t tell her about the guns. Keeps her out of the drama. Because he is the sweetest thing ever.

Nicholas goes clamoring over the wall behind Glenn’s house knowing Glenn will follow him out. BECAUSE HE IS A WORM.

Gabriel goes outside the wall without a gun. “The word of god is the only protection I need.” Yeah. That and a locked door between you and your congregation.

Rick comes home and chats with Carl, who tells Rick that he has to tell everyone why they need Rick and his group so that they can HEAR him. Smart kid. Try not waving a gun with blood running down your face, Rick.

Daryl and Aaron can’t find Red Shirt, but have come across a highly suspicious food depot. Daryl’s spidey senses are going nuts, but he gives in to Aaron and they go to investigate. One of the trucks says “How the harvest get home”. Yeah. That’s not reassuring. There are can alarms dangling from the trucks.

DO NOT GO IN THERE. THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE.

Aaron gets excited about finding an Alaska license plate. Dork.

They open one of the trucks up and walkers flood out. OF COURSE. It’s a huge booby trap. All of the trucks open up. FUUUUUUUUCK. Aaron makes an awesome license plate kill. Daryl gets the kill of the night, though, courtesy of a handy length of chain.

HA! I sometimes feel like it’s a little messed up that I am so amused by creative zombie killing.

Eventually, they fight their way into what appears to be a Subaru Outback. We have one of those. Good to know it can withstand a zombie horde.

Aaron finds a note in the car:

Well, shit.

Carol comes to visit Porchdick Pete, drop off a casserole, and threaten his life. As one does.

She has such disdain for him. I love her parting shot, “I want my dish back clean when you’re done.’ Yeah, I wouldn’t eat that casserole, Pete.

Glenn disappears before Nicholas can come try to finish him off. Because Glenn is smarter than you, Nicholas. A fencepost is smarter than you, Nicholas.

Rick stops by to check on Jessie. She tells him that he was right. So there’s that. He really should help replace that damn window.

THEY MOVED PORCHDICK ACROSS THE STREET???? That should keep him away. NOT.

Back to Daryl and Aaron in the car.

My poor boo. Aaron tells him about watching the group and what made him decide to bring them in.

He saw Daryl on his own. BURNING himself. And saw him shake it off to make sure his family was safe. Daryl is the reason Aaron brought them back. Daryl, of course, then tries to martyr himself and says he’ll lead off the walkers so that Aaron can make a break. After he finishes his smoke. Which I loved. Aaron insists that they do it together.

MORGAN! NINJA MOTHERFUCKER AND ZEN MASTER!

Aaron invites him to Alexandria, but Morgan turns down the invite. Says he’s on his way somewhere else, but he’s lost. Asks for help with his map and hands Daryl the map with the note about Rick on it. Well. That’s a surprise, huh, Daryl?

Gabriel is apparently attempting suicide…by whistling at a walker? He is not quite ready to meet his maker, though, and pulls on the walker’s suicide noose hard enough to pop his head off.

Symbolism! And gross!

Gabriel finishes off the walker with a rock and kills the poor bastard that was walker dinner with the same rock. Without blessing him first. Then he curls up in the road and cries. Which is really the reaction I’ve been waiting for from someone for five seasons. It would be my first reaction, I think.

Elsewhere, Abe comes to visit Tara. Eugene is there sleeping. Rosita convinces Abe to stay, since he won’t have to actually face Eugene. Until….

I do love Sassypants Rosita. Then Abe and Eugene have one of my favorite conversations ever. I adore these two. They need each other.

Gabriel comes back. Spencer says he wants to talk to Gabriel about his brother, Aiden. Spencer, you might want to find someone else for that. Then he asks Gabriel to close the fence and runs off to the meeting. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT? Of course, Gabriel doesn’t lock it and actually leaves it gaping open.

Back to Glenn and Nicholas duking it out in the woods. Nicholas leaves Glenn to be eaten by walkers. BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES. Waste of space.

Michonne and Rick have a heart to heart before the meeting. Rick comes clean about the guns.

Please have babies.

Seriously. Please.

She tells him that something’s going to happen and asks him not to MAKE something happen. And she lets him keep his gun. Rick takes a moment to prepare for the meeting and hears Morgan in his head. “This is a nightmare and nightmares end.” Looking out the window, he sees the open gate. He runs to the gate and sees walker bits on the unlocked lock. He follows the drips and hauls ass trying to find the walkers.

Why is Rick running in his cowboy boots hot? A mystery for the ages.

Gabriel returns to his GarageChurch to find Sasha waiting for him. The poor girl finally asks for help and she asks HIM? He, of course, tries to bait Sasha. She tells him that she thinks she wants to die. He says “Why wouldn’t you want to die? You don’t deserve to be here.” Tells her that Bob and Tyreese died because of her sins. Because he is awful.

The big meeting starts. Deanna starts it without Rick, Glenn, and Gabriel. Michonne testifies that Rick just wants his family to live. Wants everyone to live. That who he is, is who they’re all going to be. If they’re lucky.

Rick finds the walkers and is fighting them.

Sasha and Gabriel are struggling and shoot out the window of the GarageChurch.

Carol testifies.

Still working the cute grin.

Abe is up next and testifies in his own awesomely colorful way.

Meanwhile:

Ick. Don’t swallow, Rick.

Poor Red Shirt is with the Wolves now. They’re at the fence looking at all of the walkers that Daryl and Aaron let loose. They tell him to just be still and kill him.

Maggie testifies for Rick. She says that he’s a father. That he has a good heart and that he feels the things he does. The things he has to do. That Rick started their family and that you won’t stop it. “You can’t. And you don’t want to. This community. You people. That family. You want to be a part of it, too.”

Then Deanna steps forward “in the spirit of transparency” and starts talking about what Gabriel told her about Rick’s group. Total bullshit move. She pulls that out when things aren’t going her way. Jessie stands up to Deanna. Asks if she taped Gabriel. Good point, Jessie.

Cut back to the Wolves and they do something so AWESOME. They click a car remote and music starts blaring from the trucks along with flashing lights. BRILLIANT! Walker Disco! Zombie Rave! Awesome.

Back at the meeting, Rick comes in with a dead walker over his shoulder and dumps it in the middle of the circle. Way to make an entrance!

Out in the woods, Glenn is trying really hard to kill Nicholas, but he can’t.

Back in the GarageChurch, Gabriel wants Sasha to kill him. Maggie comes in and stops it. He has a meltdown about how he let his congregation die. That they all died because of him. Maggie reaches out a hand and helps him up.

Rick addresses the group.

“There wasn’t a guard on the gate. It was open. I didn’t bring it in. It got inside on its own. They always will. The dead and the living, because we’re in here. The ones out there, they’ll hunt us. They’ll find us. They’ll try to use us. They’ll try to kill us. But we’ll kill them. We’ll survive. I’ll show you how. I was thinking, how many of you do I have to kill to save your lives? But I’m not gonna do that. You’re gonna change. I’m not sorry for what I said last night. I’m sorry for not saying it sooner. You’re not ready. But you have to be. Right now. You have to be. Luck runs out.”

While he’s speaking, we see Judith and Carl…

We see Glenn and Nicholas dragging each other back to town.

We see…

We see….

YAY! My Zombie Apocalypse Bestie Lives!

We see someone pick up Aaron’s backpack. We see freaky Wolf guy flipping through the photos of Alexandria.

SHIT.

Back at the meeting, Porchdick Pete busts in, drunk, waving Michonne’s katana and screaming at Rick.

Reg tries to stop him and he accidentally slits Reg’s throat with the katana. Somebody pins him to the ground and he continues hollering while poor Reg bleeds out, but I could not figure out WTF he was saying. My notes say: It’s a tim? Let’s eat the ham? Maybe I should be working for those Bad Lip Reading people. I missed my calling.

Then…

Well. That’s awkward. Heeeeeyyyyyy, Morgan…..

There were two little post-credits scenes that we actually missed on first watch.

Michonne puts the katana back on. Sad.

Then we see the poor Red Shirt stumbling along as a walker. The car Daryl and Aaron hid in now has “Wolves not far” painted on it.