I learned that, given privacy and a wad of cash, my kid can spend over a hundred bucks at Target inside of fifteen minutes.

I learned that a few weeks after a considerate discussion where we express our differing opinions and come to a mutual understanding, my husband will just go ahead and do whatever it was he wanted anyway. I believe this to be normal male behavior.

I learned that Scott Pilgrim Vs The World is the worst movie ever! I've seen porn with better plot.

I learned that Michael Cera is the hipster mascot for a generation. Maybe not a generation, but a certain age-related subgroup. People old enough to remember original Nintendo yet young enough to think skinny jeans and white framed sunglasses are new. I pity this age-related subgroup.

I learned that, much the same way normal age-related sagging is sup[posed to be overcome by use of supportive undergarments, normal age-related changes to hair color is expected to be overcome by the use of dyes. People tell me I need to dye my hair as though it's a given that I'm planning to. "You got a lot of grays there. 'Bout time to start dying it, isn't it?"