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American Fossil

It’s one thing to feel old. It’s another entirely to have yourself relegated to the annals of history while you’re not only still kicking, but kicking ASS, thank you very much.

The whole thing about being a Formerly is that you’re not old; No, you’re not exactly young, but you’re in this weird, funkified limbic state where no one–not marketers, employers, the opposite sex and least of all, you-seems to know quite what to do do with you.

Well, this latest pop cultural bitch slap, courtesy of my friend Marisa, is the latest in a series of ever-shocking reminders that young and old are entirely relative. This, of course, should not shock anyone. If you’re a kid, teenagers seem old, and the moment you hit 21, they seem hopelessly juvenile. Still, when you’re reminded of this fact when you think everyone is using the same set of reference points, it can take you by surprise.

If you’ve got girl children, you’ve probably heard of American Girl, the incredibly expensive but agreeably wholesome series of dolls and accessories that the under 12 set is positively mad for. (I initially boycotted them a few years ago them when they wussed out and severed ties with Girls Inc., under pressure from right wing groups who didn’t like that Girls Inc. supported abortion rights. Then my girls started begging and pleading. It’s not a perfect compromise, but I now send money to Girls Inc. and let them have a doll. They’re better than the Bratz–a.k.a., American Hooch Dolls–and if the American Girl Dolls were real girls, they seem like they’d be smart enough to use birth control in the first place.)

ANYway, American Girl has a series of historical dolls–Vivian has Felicity, a girl in colonial Virginia who is as plucky as she is a skilled horsewoman–which come with storybooks featuring the girls being strong, smart and brave in the context of their eras. Kit Kittredge, the Depression Era reporter doll, was played by Abigail Breslin in a movie last year. There’s Addy, the escaped slave doll, a Mexican-American doll living in 1824, Josephina, and others from the last two-plus centuries.

And then there’s Julie Albright and her best friend Ivy Ling. Guess what historical era they’re from?

1974!

“History is World War II, the Depression! They treat Julie and the ’70s like it’s the same thing,” cries Marisa, who read the Meet Julie book that came with the doll (she arrives decked out in a white peasant blouse and bell bottoms, with a braided leather belt with beads and a crocheted hat) to her daughters before bed the other night. “It talked about Billie Jean King and male chauvinist pigs. Her friend Ivy had the pocket book made out of old blue jeans and she wore those Buffalo shoes I really wanted but my mom wouldn’t let me get! Mood rings and everything. Am I historical simply because I remember that stuff?”

Apparently American Girl thinks so, and it’s easy to see why a little kid would agree. To my girls, for whom “the olden days” means any time before they were born, Julie’s world is as alien to them as Felicity’s, as is Iliona’s, the captured Greek girl whose diary as a Roman slave we just finished reading (really good book!) So what’s the difference?

I’ll tell you what the difference is: The difference is, the moms buying the dolls were ALIVE when historical old Julie who belongs in a museum because her life is so crusty and dusty, and, well, OLDEN. If I were American Girl, I’d hold off on adding any more dolls to its historical line from eras where the purchasers could conceivably have been alive. And with women having children later, this means avoid making a doll from as little as 35-40 years ago.

The 1970s: Nostalgic reverie or serious teaching opportunity about the history of our great nation? You decide.

(That’s Julie, above, in the photo in her ’70s bed in the psychadelic colors with the hanging poison beads. She’s thinking about how Billie Jean whipped Bobby Riggs’ male chauvinist BUTT the previous year. She’s also thinking about ironing her hair to make it even more like Susan Dey’s and how come her mood ring is always that same kind of dark blue green. Could it be that mood rings aren’t accurate?)

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2 Responses to “American Fossil”

Hello from ancient, historical Marisa! We finished reading Meet Julie last night, and I have to say, when Julie talked the “male chauvinist pig” coach into letting her join the boys’ basketball team (thanks Title IX!), I felt a surge of girl-power solidarity, since I was one of the first girls in my town’s Little League in 1975. So yes, I’m peeved that I’m relegated to the “historical” section of the American Girl megastore, but also kinda proud of the history I was a part of. Anyway, I just picked up a slightly used Felicity at the school auction, so now we’re moving from the 1970s into the 1770s. You know, REAL history…

I was annoyed that AmGirl didn’t make their historical 1970s girl a girl from Vietnam who came here after the fall of Saigon. Seriously–the Vietnam war is a significant piece of American history, is it not? I know they tried to toss Ivy Ling into the mix, but it’s not the same.

(Full disclosure: my younger daughter is adopted from Vietnam, so I was especially hoping for the above.)

Oh, well, at least Julie has nice hair (the kind I would have KILLED for as I was desperately trying to get my curls to go straight…)

The circle of life TRAYCIE WROTE: My mom was (and still is) petite. We wore the same size when I was in high school in the early 1980's. She used to pass really cute clothes or shoes over to me by saying "It's too young for me". Now, here in 2012, I find myself passing on some of the cutest clothes by saying "It's too young for me". Dammit!

Love this post! from Autumn This blog is my story, all over.
I am a Formerly Hot blonde..always the 'pretty one' in the family, never lacking for attention or dates. Fast forward...I'm now 42, mother of four blonde blessings, and yes....going through a totally-typical divorce. The funny thing is...during a fifteen-yr abusive marriage, I was brought so low that I had completely 'let myself go' (and I despise that saying!) Now that I'm free, I'm finally strong enough to take the time and effort to take care of ME...haircuts, highlights, tanning, whitening my teeth...and eating healthfully and exercising, of course. I had become so accustomed to being virtually invisible during my thirties that the scant attention I now still receive from men just absolutely floors me! Ah, it's good to find that girl again. Yes, the men paying attention are my age or older, but that's as it should be, and fine with me!
Ladies, you're still hot...just hot now to a different demographic. Embrace it: it's not gone! :)

Perspective, people CATHY WROTE: I just read your book and appreciated it, though I can't really relate. Not only am I 15 years older than you, I was never hot. I have a mild case of cerebral palsy; while I can, thank God, walk and talk, I limp and my right arm swings like a broken tree branch. When I shop for clothes, style doesn't count. Can I get into it by myself? Will these shoes support my right ankle?

Agree? QUEEN WROTE: There comes a time in your life when u suddenly realize that you are not cute anymore. You are still pretty and more secure, hopefully more intelligent and secure, but you just don't turn heads the way you used to. But its not because you became ugly, I believe there are beautiful and ugly in young and old.

Relief, of a kind KIKI WROTE: Finally! I don't get hit on all the time. It's kind of nice to be able to go to the store and be checked out (no pun intended) without the clerk asking me if I've got a boyfriend. D

Olivia d’Abo was the hot older daughter! JULIE WROTE: The AmeriCorps (2o-something) in my office were discussing dopplegangers. I remarked that I was never really told I look like anyone-oh, except for the sister on the Wonder Years (Olivia d'Abo character)...to which the reply (nonsnarky, just curious) was..."don't you mean the mom?" What???

HILARIOUS CHRISTINE WROTE: ...Last year my 13 year old step daughter wore my dress to a birthday party. I told my friends the story and one of the husbands replied, "that was a farewell dress. Farewell to size 4."

9-year-old fashion tips LAURA WROTE: My 9 year old daughter, who knows everything, informed me that I was too old to even think about wearing a bikini or even a two piece. She informed me that tankini's were OK because they covered my flabby parts and made it easy for me since I have to go to the bathroom so much (bladder sling surgery in 3 months.)