Monday, September 15, 2014

Francis does it again!

Who does Francis think he is, Sun Myung Moon? This past Sunday, Francis married twenty couples in one giant wedding ceremony at St. Peter's Basilica. What made it different was the touch Francis put on it. See dear reader, Francis had his people at the Vatican seek out those on the fringes of society. You know those living publicly in open sin! Next, he didn't even enforce the dress code which a tourist must follow when visiting St. Peter's! There were many sleeveless wedding gowns and more than a few which were low cut to show off their owner's cleavage. Have no fear though, Michael Voris of the Vortex will either ignore this or tell his listeners, it was all part of a conspiracy cooked up by the evil bishops. We fear this was a trial balloon to test the reaction of Catholics in order to gauge how far they should push the line at of the upcoming Synod on the Family. Time we tell if we are correct in our assessment. Francis must be happy because he got this revolutionary change in his church in the headlines of the news:

8 comments:

Phil Lawler reports Kasper’s claim that Francis thinks 50% of today’s marriages are invalid. https://www.commonwealmagazine.org/merciful-god-merciful-churchDid Francis also knows that these are the new cases of marriage annulment

I understand before he dies in one or two years Francis is going to have a mass annulment ceremony for these couples (and any others who care to participate) --though most likely it will not be called an annulment ceremony as that would be too judgmental. The Vatican is not really expecting many children from these unions because Francis gave all the couples condoms advertising the new UN of Religions and other free birth control samples he received from Planned Parenthood as well a bottle of his own personal body douche when they stepped up to pose for their personal 'selfie' with him. He also gave them his ten ways to make marriage work in these modern times and the first way was not to have any children. He did assure each couple though that they would not be held responsible for any unwanted babies, but that JPI had done a study and the unwanted children would be auctioned to homosexuals who would "adopt" even handicapped bastards at the ceremony. If all of the babies cannot be auctioned, Catholic politicians such as Nancy Pelosi, Cristina Kirchner, Jerry Brown, Joe Biden, Andrew Cuomo, Bill de Blasio and Martin O'Malley were fighting over who could get to murder them live on television from St. Peters square to demonstrate once and for all that the Catholic Church is no longer the enforcer of petty rules and respects the right of every state to make whatever law it pleases and that while these Catholic politicians are personally opposed just like the Catholic Church to abortion, a woman's right to an abortion is inviolable even after the child has been born for at least two years (King Herod was right--too bad he didn't murder Jesus Christ when he was a baby and save us all so much grief)! Francis will then wave these uninteresting bloody relics away with a shake of his fairy microphone, pass out communion to everyone, and after instructing us all one more time to never, ever proselytize, pretend to dramatically ascend into heaven before falling dead to the ground--whereupon the gang of Nein! will rush out to immediately declare him a saint.

"No scandal here: How the 20 couples married by Pope Francis were legit"

http://m.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=30502

Monkey see... monkey do... see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

"... on marriage, on sexuality, he is very firm, saying he is ‘a son of the Church’,” [the monkey] continued. “What he wants to do is simply put the Church’s focus on mercy... ooo-ooo, aaa-aaa, eee-eee!"