Not a very useful one, but it works, and conforms, and whatever.
Just for posterity, for the sake of the exercise, I'd like to submit it to CPAN.

Please don't. The CPAN is already bloated. Adding useless modules to CPAN simply adds clutter and makes it more difficult to find the useful stuff. Although there are exceptions (anything in the Acme:: namespace for example -- and most of those demonstrate an iteresting idea) I wouldn't add a module to CPAN unless I know it'll be useful to a lot of people. If your module doesn't fall into that category, please wait until you do have some code worth sharing.