Dumbass Of The Day: Really Drunk Woman Does The Unspeakable On Cop Car

MIAMI - DECEMBER 15: Officer Kevin Millan from the City of Miami Beach police department arrests a woman after she failed a field sobriety test at a DUI checkpoint December 15, 2006 in Miami, Florida. According to police, the woman failed a breathalyzer test by blowing into the device and receiving two readings one at .190 the other .183, which is twice the legal limit in Florida. The city of Miami, with the help of other police departments, will be conducting saturation patrols and setting up checkpoints during the holiday period looking to apprehend drivers for impaired driving and other traffic violations. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Joe Raedle
Getty Images

Allow JACK to introduce you to the Dumbass of the Day: The woman who got so drunk she thought pooping on a cop car was an acceptable thing to do.

This disgusting story came to us from KOMO and basically goes like this; a woman who claimed to be a lawyer walked into a bar in Greenwood last week, handed the bartender her car keys and told him not to give them back under any circumstances. She then proceeded to get hammered and asked for her keys back. Someone called her a cab, but she refused to get in. Upon refusing to give up the keys, the out-0f-control woman hit and punched the bartender, then attacked another bar patron out in the parking lot.

The cops were called and found the very drunk and uncooperative woman yelling at the staff. She was handcuffed and taken outside. That’s when officers discovered the um, mess on the bumper of the car. Gross. The woman somehow accomplished this while handcuffed. She was taken to jail.

JACK can only hope her sentence includes cleaning police station bathrooms.