Disclaimer: The characters of
"Smallville" are owned by Tollin/Robbins, Millar Gough Ink, Warner
Bros., and DC Comics, not by us.

Rating: G

Spoilers: None

Category: Pre-slash

Challenge: First line: "You've got a
cocksucker's lips, Clark, did I ever tell you that?"

Summary: Can America help Lex find the perfect
mate?

Notes:We need to thank Julian Lee for her prodigious help editing this piece.
She showed no fear in the face of story that grew all out of proportion.Also, thanks shouted out to an lj-user,
getmeout, for helping brainstorm names when we ran out.Finally, this is dedicated to Celli
Lane, without whom we would not be writing in this fandom.

"You've got a cocksucker's lips, Clark; did I
ever tell you that?"

Clark started choking on his milk as his eyes
nearly bulged out of his head.

Chloe inclined her head toward the image frozen on
the plasma screen in front of them, "Just look at you, Clark."

"Chloe!" Clark spluttered milk falling
everywhere.His eyes immediately
went to Lex, who was still consumed enough by his phone call to have not
reacted to Chloe's words.The
towel that smacked Clark in the side of the head after he'd turned back to
Chloe, however, clearly indicated that Lex had at least caught Clark's
reaction.

"It's true!" Chloe insisted."And I'd bet that I'm not the only
one who feels that way."

Clark pointedly remained staring at his now half
empty glass of milk while he blindly wiped up the mess.He couldn't look up - if he looked at
Chloe, he'd turn even deeper red.And he couldn't even begin to imagine what Lex might be thinking.

"What way, Chloe?" Lex asked, returning
to the sitting area."As for
you, dare I ask what Chloe said to make you react like that?"

***

Despite his ongoing telephone conversation, Lex had heard Chloe's comment but declined to respond,
preferring to see how this might play out amongst his guests.Tonight was the beginning: the video
tape of his first episode on the reality show "Single Millionaire"
had landed in his mailbox this morning, and Lex had invited Clark, Chloe, and
Pete over to watch it with him in preparation for its airing on national
television in five days.It was
the arrangement Lex had made with the producers: he agreed to participate in
the show if and only if he got first view of the episodes and veto power over
any potentially damaging content.

It was bad enough, Lex thought, that he'd been
through the ordeal that was "Single Millionaire" to begin with.But once his father had begun sending
"appropriate" women to Lex as potential spouses, Lex realized his
father wanted him to settle down, become a more suitable heir to LuthorCorp
than he was now.It would happen
on Lex's terms, however.So he had
auditioned for "Single Millionaire," half hoping he would pass muster
with the producers and half hoping he wouldn't.

The one redeeming factor of the whole process had
been Clark's presence.After all,
when Lex was told to bring along his closest friend to act as confidante, Clark
was the only one he considered bringing.It wasn't as if he had hordes of friends to choose from.

Clark's being in college was a boon, too - his
summer break coincided with the taping of "Single Millionaire,"
leaving him free to be available for whatever the show - and Lex - demanded.

Of course, Lex and Clark knew what they had
experienced over the course of the time they were living in the "Single
Millionaire" mansion, but Lex knew that so-called reality shows actually
contained very little reality.He
was simultaneously eager and trepidatious to see how his experiences jibed with
and differed from what was presented to a national audience.

And, ultimately, since his perception of the whole
process was slowly shifting, he was eager on some level to see whether he could
pinpoint when, during the series, his views began to change.

But that was for later.Right now, the videotape was frozen on a tantalizing image -
Clark's lips, closed around a drinking straw.Chloe was right about those lips, though Lex would likely
have phrased the sentiment differently.

"Hey, Chloe," Lex said, turning his
attention away from Clark, who was still attempting to stammer out an answer to
his previous question."Where
are we in the broadcast?"

"Oh, they're on the introductions still.I paused the tape when your phone rang,
so we haven't moved much beyond what you had seen."

Lex looked back at the television screen, trying to
place when this particular footage might have been filmed.The producers had sent a cameraman to
follow Lex and Clark around for about a week for - the claim went -
"background material."Why they needed so much background information on Lex - already one of
the best-known men in America, even without this television show - was not made
completely clear.Clark, too, was
uncomfortable with the extended publicity; while his internship at the Planet had necessitated Clark's becoming more comfortable
with publicity, he was still uncomfortable in front of the camera.

"Ah," he said, finally placing the source
of the footage in question as being from an evening out for pizza and a movie.

"What, Lex?" Clark said, finally able to
look Lex in the eye again.

"I just figured out where that shot came
from.That's all."

Clark turned back toward the screen, saw the
freeze-framed image still remaining there, and blushed again."C'mon, Chloe.Unpause it and let's watch more."

Chloe sighed but complied, allowing the show to
continue running.As this was the
first episode, the bulk of the hour was taken up with the introduction of Lex
and Clark, the arrival of the original twenty-five women, and the first night's
"get to know you/get to dismiss you" party.

And as the episode played out, Lex found out just
how correct he had been in his assessment - women he had found interesting but
not sufficiently so to keep them past this first threshold were immediately
cast in a negative light; he figured it was so that the audience would be happy
when he dismissed them.And those
that in fact remained through later rounds of the competition were depicted in
this introductory phase as being the perfect potential companion for a moneyed
young man - poised, elegant, and demure.

Ah, it was amazing what some creative editing could
accomplish, Lex thought.

***

"Twenty-five beautiful women, one eligible
bachelor -- who can say what will happen this season on 'Single
Millionaire.'"

Clark fidgeted at the show's opening."Our bachelor this season is
Metropolis' own -- Alexander 'Lex' Luthor, sole heir to the Luthor fortune. Mr.
Luthor has a bad-boy reputation, but he assures us that he has reformed and is
ready to settle down with the right person. He is accompanied on this journey
by his close friend, Clark Kent.Mr. Kent is a young reporter with a local newspaper and has been a
friend to Mr. Luthor for the past decade.We have been assured that no one knows Mr. Luthor and his preferences
better than Mr. Kent. We are in for a fun season where these women will find
out what it's like to be squired about by a fabulously wealthy man and to have
a chance to win his heart.I'm
your host, Mark Michaels; stay with us for more of 'Single Millionaire.'"

***

"Damn, Clark.How'd you get this gig?"

"I asked him to do it, Pete," Lex
answered for Clark.

"I would have done it -- in a heartbeat,
man," Pete said.

"I'm sure you would have, but I don't think I
could compete with you." Self-deprecation didn't particularly suit Lex,
but it had the desired effect on Pete, who was suffused with pride.

Clark sat quietly watching the interplay and
staring at the screen as the women were introduced.Everyone was pretty quiet, except for Pete's occasional
exclamation about the beauty of one woman or another.

As the initial introductions were completed, the party
portion of episode began.Clark
remembered how strange it was to attend a party where the entire focus was
trying to capture Lex's attention.

Watching it now, Clark could see that some of the
women that he had never had a chance to talk to were practically draping
themselves on Lex - and he suddenly understood why some women had been
eliminated.He noticed that almost
every woman Lex chose to move on to the next round had sought Clark out and had
talked with him sincerely,
women Clark had found interesting and had commented to Lex about.

***

Lex watched the interactions between Clark and the
women very carefully.He hadn't
been provided the opportunity to see these conversations before, but,
remarkably, they were quite similar to the way that Clark had described them.

He grimaced as the camera zoomed in on that one
woman, Sheila, who had spent her few minutes with Lex draping herself over him
and rubbing his head.It looked
even worse on tape now than it had when it was happening.

"That one's gone," Chloe remarked.

"Why do you think so, Miss
Sullivan?"Lex smirked.

"Oh, come on, Lex.Subtlety is what works with you.That woman couldn't be more obvious if she rented a
billboard."

"There is that," Lex admitted.

"I don't know, man.She's awfully fine."

"Not Lex's type," Clark said flatly.

"Really?What's my type, Clark," Lex asked, curious.

"Watch and see."

Lex studied Clark's face -- there were no clear
signs about what he was thinking.Lex was hoping that through watching Clark's reaction, he would get
confirmation of his final choice, but right now there was nothing.Early days, Lex, he reminded himself.

***

As the party wound down, the host appeared and
called Lex and Clark out of the room.They were led to a room with photos of all the women they met and told
to deliberate.

Interestingly, the producers elected to block out
the discussion that Lex had had with Clark -- instead they played music while
showing the two men involved in the discussion.

Lex watched Clark lean forward and stare with
intensity at the screen while waiting for Lex's decisions.Clark had not accompanied Lex back
downstairs to make the choices, and though he knew Lex's choices, he hadn't
seen the order Lex had chosen in, or the selection ceremony itself.

***

"Ladies, Lex will be joining us in just a few
moments.Tonight, he will choose
fifteen of you to continue on and spend more time with him.Of course, if you don't feel a
connection with Lex, please feel free to reject his offer.The choice is yours."

The camera shifted to show Lex poised at the top of
the stairs, waiting for his cue.He looked calm and focused, and he was prepared.

"Hello, Mark," Lex said smoothly.
"Ladies."

"Lex, whenever you're ready."

Lex smiled at the assembled women, most of whom
were fidgeting nervously as they awaited his pronouncements. "Ladies, I
have chosen, with the consent of the producers, to alter the plan here,
slightly.Instead of the roses or
champagne that the other bachelors have used, I've chosen to offer these
gifts."

All of the women seemed more excited than they had
even moments before at the prospect of the wrapped, and thus mysterious, gifts.
Clark watched the Lex on the screen carefully draw out the tension of the
moment by seeming to choose on the spot; he knew that Lex had made definitive
decisions before he had left the room.

***

"Oh man, Lex," Pete moaned as he watched
one particularly beautiful woman slide into the waiting limousine. "How
could you let *that* one go?"

"It takes more than looks to catch my eye, Mr.
Ross," Lex said archly as the other man began to squirm in his seat.

"Besides, she was more interested in Lex's
bank balance than what he likes to do with his free time."

"My copious free time, Clark."

"Whatever," Clark replied, barely
resisting the urge to stick his tongue out at Lex's oft-repeated reminder.

***

"Next time on 'Single Millionaire,' the women
move into the mansion, while Lex and his friend Clark settle in to our
luxurious bachelor pad. The women will go on group dates with Lex, while Clark
gets to know the women left behind."

The end credits rolled while several images popped
up on the screen: Lex with groups of women doing rather un-Lex like things and
women opening their gifts and finding deceptively simple gold bracelets, while
Clark appeared to be constantly in the pool.

***

"Well, what do you think?" Lex asked the
assemblage.

"I don't think they showed the honeys
enough," Pete grumbled and then grabbed his shin when Chloe kicked him --
hard.

"That's gonna leave a mark," Clark
quipped.

"I still can't believe you agreed to do
this." Chloe looked from one man to the other. "Either of you."

"It wasn't so much agreement as it was
self-defense.If I can't find a
suitable, non-homicidal mate this way, I think even my father might give up the
quest," Lex replied grimly.

"And I couldn't let Lex do this alone.He picked his last two wives by
himself, and we see where that led, don't we?" Clark grinned gamely. Lex
didn't look as relaxed or as confident as Clark had hoped he would after this
whole experience.He eased over
next to his friend and nudged him gently in the shoulder. "You okay?"

Lex quickly shook his head to communicate to Clark
that he didn't want to talk about things until the rest of his guests had left.

With the entertainment over, and Lex clearly
desiring some privacy, Chloe and Pete were quick to vacate the penthouse.Once his other friends had left, Clark
went over to the kitchen and retrieved two bottles of water.

"You want to talk about it?" Clark made
himself at home on the couch and waited for Lex to do or say something.

Lex grabbed one of the bottles of water and sipped
it as he started pacing the living room."What did you really think about that?" Lex asked, inclining
his head toward the television again.

"Well, I'm mostly happy with our choices,
though I think we made a mistake with Leslie."Clark grimaced."I had no idea she was so, um, conniving."

"Well, that's one word for it, anyway,"
Lex grinned. "So, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"I donno; you got plans?"

"You're a college student and you don't have
plans on a Friday night?"Lex's incredulous tone was only partially artifice.While he was glad to hear that Clark
had no plans, he was honestly surprised that Clark's schedule was clear.

"Well," Clark said, a slight blush
working its way up his cheeks, "I wasn't sure how tonight would go, and I
was leaving the evening free in case you needed to go out and smash
things...you know, in case you were so angry at how the episode had been put
together."

Lex grinned."And you thought I might need you to help me 'smash things'?"

"Actually, I thought you might need someone to
bail you out once you'd been caught smashing things."Clark smiled back at Lex."So my weekend is free, for all
intents and purposes.I have to
finish an article I've been working on that has a Monday deadline, but that's
about it."

Lex stopped pacing and sat next to Clark on the
couch."So you're enjoying
your internship?" he asked.

"So far," he said.He paused a minute, then hesitantly
continued, "They've um...they've asked me if I could do an article on what
it was like to be on the show.You
know, sort of a puff piece, but something that might show them my skills when
it comes to writing human interest stuff."Another pause."Not that I have any skills at that...and not that I want to do
it.But..."

"But if you do it, there's a chance they'll
give you a full-time job at the paper after you graduate, and if you don't,
you'll be labeled uncooperative."

"Yeah," Clark said."Something like that."

Lex sighed."Well, I don't really like the idea, but I'm willing to go along
with it.At least with you doing
it, I know I'll be able to trust the veracity of the final article."

Clark sighed."I'm at the mercy of my editors, though.They might decide they want something flashier than what I
give them.You know, before we did
this, I thought television was so glamorous.Now, I think it's just annoying.Look at tonight's episode - how much of what they showed
really happened?"

"It all happened, Clark."

"Yeah, but not the way they showed it.If that's how you're always treated by the
press, no wonder you're so camera-shy."

Lex held up his hand."We really don't want to get me started on a rant about
the media and truth and what truth means.Let's figure out, instead, what we might do with all that free time
you've left for me to smash things, since I don't actually feel the need to
smash anything."

"Actually," Clark said sheepishly,
"I kind of promised my folks I'd help with some of the big projects they
want to have done before the winter.Between school and going away for 'Single Millionaire,' there are a lot
of things that have piled up for me to do.I'd asked my dad for an extra day or so in case you were in
rough shape, but since you seem to be fine with everything, I think he'd prefer
it if I could tackle some of those chores over the weekend."He paused."I'll be heading back to Smallville tomorrow, and it
would be great if you could come over for dinner tomorrow night.I'm sure my parents would love to have
a quiet evening with just you as a guest."

"That sounds good," Lex said,
simultaneously relieved that he'd have some time tomorrow to tend to business
and disappointed that he wouldn't have a day alone with Clark this weekend.

"But starting next week?" Clark said,
"I'll be sure to block Friday and Saturday for you, even if there's still
winterizing to be done at home.I'm sure my parents will understand.After all, they can't expect me to come home every weekend, can they?"

Lex was less sure, but he didn't contradict
Clark."That would be lovely,
Clark."There was a lot Lex
needed to think about, and he suddenly realized that it would be easier if he
was alone with his thoughts for a bit.But he didn't want Clark to feel as if he was being dismissed.He looked at his watch."Don't you need to get back to the
dorms?I don't want your class
work suffering because you're spending time with me."

"No Friday classes, so just that article to
work on before I head to Smallville."Clark looked closer at Lex."But you look tired.You're right - I should head back to the dorm, and you
should get some rest.I know
you've been busy still trying to catch up with everything that got set aside
while we were away."

Lex sent a silent thanks to Clark's parents for
raising him to be so conscientious of his friends' needs. "Now that you mention it, I am
feeling tired.I hate to cut this
short, but..."

"But if you keep working, you'll be up all
night."

"Exactly.And I'll see you tomorrow night at your parents', if they
agree to having me over."

"They'll be fine with it, Lex; trust me.But I'll double-check and call you
tomorrow afternoon, just to be sure."Clark gathered up the glasses and other debris left from
their evening gathering.

"Clark, I've got staff for that."

"Sorry - conditioning, you know?"Clark put the glasses back down, but he
still put the trash into the bin rather than leaving it for the staff to clean
up.

As the door closed behind Clark, Lex realized it
was still an odd feeling to have to bid Clark good night at the end of the
evening and have him leave, rather than having him just go to his own
bedroom.In the six weeks they'd
been living at the "Single Millionaire" penthouse, Lex had gotten
used to Clark's presence and, while the dorms at Met U were close, it wasn't
the same.

Ah, well, Lex thought.He'd see Clark again soon enough.And it would be good to have a meal with his parents again,
away from the cameras. and the hype, and, yes, the women.

***

"Hey, mom?" Clark started as he came
through the door of the Kent house on Friday.

"Yes, Clark?"

"I hope you don't mind, but I invited Lex to
come for dinner.He just seemed to
need to connect with something real,
something separate from that show.And you and Dad are the most real people I know."

"Sure, honey," Martha replied."It will be nice to have just Lex
here, without the TV-related entourage."

Clark shuddered, remembering the last meal they had
all had at his parents' table."True."He picked
a muffin out of the basket on the table and took a bite."I'm going to go out and see what
Dad wants me to do."

"OK, honey.Lunch will be ready in about an hour; please tell your dad
when you find him."

Clark found his father out near the barn, watching the
cows graze.

"Hey, Dad," he said as he
approached."Mom says lunch
will be ready in about an hour."

"Thanks, Clark."Jonathan hugged his son and then asked,
"How's school?"

"So far so good this semester."

"And how's Lex?"

"He's fine; you'll see him this evening at
dinner."

Clark started walking the fence line, checking for
rotting posts and fraying wire.Where necessary, he made adjustments and made a couple of mental notes
of posts he'd have to replace.Jonathan walked along with him, taking notes as Clark identified
problems.Other than Clark's
commenting on repairs and Jonathan's acknowledgements, there was no
conversation.Clark found the work
soothing, real and normal compared to the memory of the chaos of filming
"Single Millionaire."

"Hey, Dad," Clark asked as they returned
to the barn, "are you planning to watch the show?"

"Your mom and I weren't sure you'd want us
to."

Clark thought for a moment about some of the events
over the course of the filming and decided that perhaps there were some events
he'd rather his parents not witness, especially given how they'd play out on
TV."You're probably
right."

He cocked his head."Mom's calling; lunch is ready."

"Then let's not keep her waiting; if she's got
Lex coming for dinner, I can only imagine that she's itching to get started
cooking enough to feed him for a week.Ever since he relocated to Metropolis, she's under this impression that
his staff won't feed him.As if
the Metropolis staff is somehow inferior to the staff he keeps here in
Smallville."

"And it's the same staff," Clark said,
smiling.He was thrilled by the
fact that his parents had, finally, not only accepted Clark's friendship with
Lex but had essentially adopted him as a second son.

"So things are getting back to normal?"
Jonathan asked as he and Clark began heading back to the house.

"Seems like it.I'm back in classes and have the Planet internship; Lex is back doing deals and making
money hand-over-fist; and the show's gonna start airing this week.So once that's over with, life will be
just like it was before."

"Are you sure, Clark?"

"What do you mean, Dad?"

"Well," Jonathan said, "doesn't the
airing of the show mean that, in a couple of weeks, Lex will have to make his final
decision on who he's going to marry?Or, at least, have a serious relationship with?"

"Well, yeah," Clark said."That was part of the point,
right?"

"And you're happy for him, right?"

"Yeah," Clark repeated."Some of those women, I tell you,
were kinda scary, but I liked one of the final two a lot; I hope she's the one
Lex chooses."The fact that,
almost from the beginning, it was obvious that Delia had disliked Clark as much
as he disliked her made Marnie even more of an attractive prospect for Lex from
Clark's point of view.

While Clark knew that Lex would take his opinion
into consideration, in the end it was Lex's decision and it would be Lex who
would have to live with the consequences of that decision.So Clark had been quiet about his
reservations toward Delia; it wouldn't be fair to Lex to influence him that
way.It wasn't anything in
particular that he hadn't liked; she just didn't go out of her way to befriend
him like many of the other women did.Clark couldn't fault her for wanting to spend time with Lex.

"Lex didn't tell you?"

"The producers wouldn't let him.Something about concerns that the final
decision would leak to the papers and then viewership would be down for the
final episode."

"Well, you'll find out soon enough. For now, you shouldn't worry about
it."Jonathan opened the
kitchen door and gestured for Clark to precede him.

"I'll try not to," Clark said."After all, Lex is stressed out
enough by the prospect of the show starting.I don't want to add any more stress."

He hoped, though, that he'd get a sense from Lex as
the show aired as to what Lex's final choice would be.

***

As Lex pulled into the long drive up to the Kent
farmhouse, he thought about the differences between this visit and his most
recent previous visit.This time
it would be just him and the Kents.Calm, relaxed, no one asking him to do specific things or say specific
things because it made better television.The producers of "Single Millionaire" claimed to provide
"reality"; Lex knew, for certain, that this meal was going to be more
real than almost any other aspect of his day.

The whole day had been surreal.Between the phone call to the
"Single Millionaire" producers to assure them that he was willing to have
the episode air as he'd seen it on the videotape, the conversation with his
father in which Lionel made it clear that Lex's participation in the reality
show would not go over well with LuthorCorp's more staid - Lex would say boring
- board members, and a meeting with Gabe Sullivan during which Lex had to
reassure his employee that Chloe would not drop out of college and sign up to
be on a reality show, this was definitely a day that Lex had no desire to
repeat any time soon.Dinner with
the Kents would be the perfect antidote for the craziness of the rest of the
day.

Lex pulled the Porsche up to the side of the house,
turned off the ignition, and just sat in the car for a moment.He could already feel the tensions of
the day seeping away.There was
something about this house, about the people who lived here - and Clark, who
seemed to carry the spirit of this house with him even when he was away at
school in Metropolis - that was palpably normal.An
island of sanity amongst the seas of insanity.

The front door opened and Clark emerged, impatience
written all over his face.Lex
rolled down the window as Clark approached the car.

"C'mon, Lex.Dinner's going to be ready in five minutes, and the table
still isn't set."

"What, you haven't set the table yet?I'd have thought your mom would've had
you do that by now."

Lex undid his seatbelt and opened the car
door."Thank you,
Clark."As he got out of the
car, he continued, "Are you sure this isn't just an excuse to get out of
having to set the table, though?"

"Admit it, Lex.Every once in a while, you actually enjoy not being waited
on."

"Every once in a while," Lex
conceded."But you must admit
that even you got used to having the 'Single Millionaire' staff catering to
us."

Clark blushed."I did.But I know it wasn't real; I can't live that way all the
time."He started heading toward
the house but stopped when he realized Lex wasn't behind him."C'mon, Lex.Dinner's almost ready."

"I'll be there in a sec, Clark."Lex stood by the car for another
minute, thinking about what Clark had said.But then he shook his head, as if to clear it of whatever
wayward thoughts were there, and followed Clark into the house.

"It's good to see you again, Lex,"
Jonathan said as Lex came through the kitchen door.

"Thank you, Jonathan.It's good to be here.I feel like it's been much longer than
it really has been."

Martha put down her spoon and came over to give Lex
a welcoming hug."Hi,
Lex."

"Hi, Martha.Thanks for having me."

"You're always welcome here; you know
that."The Kents had come a
long way since they would look at Lex with suspicion and automatically assume
that he had a hidden agenda.Since
Lex and Clark had become close, Martha and Jonathan had made a concerted effort
to understand what Clark saw in Lex, and they came to see the true Lex under
the business artifice.

"I do, and I appreciate it.Dinner smells wonderful, by the
way."

"Thank you," Martha said."Clark's waiting for you; he's
left the table unset because he said you really enjoy it."

"I think it's just so he can get out of doing
it himself," Lex said with a smile as he headed off to find Clark.

Over dinner, the conversation was light, with no
mention of the filming of "Single Millionaire" or the upcoming airing
of the first episode.For that,
both Clark and Lex were thankful.Instead,
the Kents let Lex and Clark steer the conversation to topics such as what
classes Clark was taking this semester, whether Lex was going to invest in the
newest Internet telephone venture, and whether this year's Smallville Crows
basketball team had any chance of making the championship now that their star
player had graduated.

Over Martha's home-made apple pie, Lex decided to
bring up the subject of the show, figuring they'd avoided it long enough.

Lex wasn't sure whether he should be bothered or
relieved that the "Single Millionaire" escapades as presented by the
show's producers weren't going to be witnessed by the Kents.On the one hand, he was disappointed
that they apparently didn't have an interest in the show.On the other hand, however, he was
relieved that they would not form a negative impression of him based on his
actions on-screen.

"We just have one question," Jonathan
continued."There's nothing
we're going to hear from the sheriff about, right?"

"Nothing whatsoever," Lex said.He realized that he didn't know all the
details of the time Clark had spent alone with the women, but he was confident
that while there may have been some risqu moments, nothing actually
prosecutable had happened.

"Then we're content to not watch it.We just wanted to make sure that, if we
were going to have to defend Clark in any way, we'd be prepared."

"Dad!" Clark exclaimed.

"I'm just kidding, son," Jonathan
said."I couldn't help it -
you sounded so worried earlier that your mom and I might watch the show."

"Well, that's a relief," Lex said.

"What, that we won't be watching?" Martha
asked.

"No, that Clark won't have to worry about jail
time."Lex pushed back from
the table."This has been
wonderful, but I should be heading back to Metropolis.I've got a breakfast meeting tomorrow
morning, even though it's the weekend."

Lex stood up, and Martha and Jonathan got up as well.Clark began to collect the dishes as
his parents wished Lex a good evening and saw him out.He couldn't figure out what was keeping
him from following Lex to the door; that would have been his usual pattern, but
something held him back this evening.

"Good night, Clark," Lex called from the
doorway."I'll see you back
in Metropolis this week.If not
before, then Wednesday night."

"OK, Lex.See you then."

Clark felt awkward, and he was very glad when his
parents didn't push the issue.Instead, when they returned from seeing Lex to his car, they helped
Clark clear and wash the dishes without conversation.

The rest of the weekend passed unremarkably, with
Clark working on the farm through Sunday morning and then returning to his dorm
at Met U on Sunday evening.He
managed to put the subject of the show out of his mind for while he was at
home, but now that he was back at school, he was beginning to worry more about
it.

As soon as he had unpacked, he picked up the phone.

"Hi, Lex.I'm back at the dorm."

"That's good.But I'm assuming this isn't just a call to check in."

"You're right."Clark paused, unsure how to phrase what he wanted to say.

"What's going on, Clark?"

"Lex, look.I'm just...I don't know if we want to watch the show as it actually
broadcasts."

"You've already seen it; you know what's going
to happen."

"Yeah, but...that's part of the problem.I'm not sure I could face watching that
again.Once was enough, you
know?"

Lex thought for a minute then said, "OK.Why don't the four of us go out
instead?Get pizza, see a
movie.Stay as far away from
televisions as we can."

Clark smiled, even though he knew Lex couldn't see
him."That sounds
perfect.I'll check with Chloe and
Pete to see if they're in, but I assume they'll say yes."

"Pete will be disappointed."

"Pete will be overruled."By Chloe, both men added silently.

"Then we'll meet here, at the penthouse, at
about 7."

"Sounds good."

They hung up, and Clark called first Pete and then
Chloe to lay out the new plan.While Pete sounded somewhat disappointed at the thought that he'd miss
the opportunity to ogle all 25 women one last time, he understood that - having
seen the episode once - there was really no reason to watch it a second
time.As for Chloe, she had no
problem with the new plan, figuring that any situation that allowed her to eat
food Lex was paying for was just fine.

Clark was glad to have time with his friends that
did not have the show as a central focus.He needed some time to prepare for viewing the next episode - as the
show had proceeded, his behavior had become less and less like what his friends
would expect from Clark, and he wondered if he should mention that to them
ahead of time, or if it would be less awkward to just let the episodes play out
on screen.

He was still debating that question as he headed to
his classes Monday morning.Not
until late Wednesday afternoon did he come to any conclusion.Whatever happened would happen, and he
wouldn't attempt to influence Chloe or Pete at all. It was simpler that way.