Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – September 23

Posted on September 23, 2013 by Holstein

A man became stuck in tar while working in a large tank at a Jacksonville, Florida, asphalt plant Friday, requiring three fire trucks and numerous emergency personnel to get him free. The man was never in life-threatening condition. He was doing some work inside the tank at the time and was fine as long as he was moving around. Apparently he slowed his movements to the extent that his lower legs became stuck in the tar. Rescue crews used peanut oil to loosen the tar from his legs.

An incident at a movie theater in Portland, Oregon, involving multiple law enforcement agencies, turned out to be a comedy of errors. During the movie Prisoners, an elderly man stood up and urinated. The urine fell on a teenager sitting in the row in front of him. This upset a nearby woman who started yelling “Gun!” over and over. Theater patrons began running for the exits, and someone called 911, which led to a massive response from multiple law enforcement agencies, including a SWAT team. Investigators said they quickly figured out what happened after talking to the 14-year-old boy and his family. It is believed the peeing man may have been drinking.

Someone broke into a garage at a Flint, Michigan, home and stole a lawnmower and a snow blower, along with a box full of empty cans. Also stolen? A box of waffles.