Spoof news stories from Monday 28 October 2013

Top 12 Rules from Grannies that you should have listened to!
Though it's too late now.
12. Always use a fine tooth comb on pubic hair when you shower.
11. Always wear clean underwear when you go out in case someone uses mirrors on top of their shoes.
10. Allow parents to take off the training wheels only after you pass the test for your drivers license.
9. Never teach your pe...

In the latest craze to hit the Halloween crowd horror fans are creating Haunted Houses for very specific groups. Each is tailor made to scare the bone marrow out of their target audience.
Gun Nut Horror House- Specially made to scare the beejeebee...

Washington - Someone who should know better has ghost-written a baby according to a pre-Halloween sweep of the White House septic tank.
Spooky pest control operatives hired by the First Lady found half a dozen piss test swabs following a plumbing...

At last the Government have decided to step in and sort out the wildly out of control British media. Back and to the Left news has been following Ed Miliband's crusade to get all news outlets to heel to the politicians whim like a good dog. It finall...

Far from the numerous publications that have been published under the title The Jane Austen Diaries, a document has been uncovered that seems to suggest that the author herself kept a dairy. In reality the two pages discovered revealed that she was not just ahead of time in her books but also in her personal writings as well.
The contents of the document, which is dated 1795, when Miss Austen...

NASHVILLE - Country music artist Kenny Chesney has just told Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine that he has just about had his fill of all of these prairie fairy rumors.
Chesney met with reporter Buck Yazoo at a Burger Belle in Nashville and stated that he's...

Stalybridge Celtic's proposed new redevelopment of their East Stand has run into a problem before a single brick has been bought.
"We got the planning permission people down to look at our plans and the proposed site," said club chairman, Rob Gors...

Sparks and Mensa, the home and fashion store for those in the top bracket of intelligence, have launched their new crisp range. There has been a slight hiccup in the launch, when it was discovered that the standard width crisp packet isn't wide enoug...

The EU has assigned 10 million Euros to build wheelchair ramps in the jungles of the Congo to allow disabled wild apes better access to their tree nests.
In the last few years, a number of disabled gorillas and chimps have been released into the w...

In the latest of a series of embarrassing incidents for the NHS, St Jesus' Hospital in Dorking has been criticised after it was revealed that hospital workers routinely flush dead bodies down the toilet in order to quickly free up beds for new patien...

LONDON - London Bridge figuratively fell down right smack dab on the Jaguars of Jacksonville as they were soundly beaten by the San Francisco 49ers 42-10.
The NFL game was held in London's Wembley Stadium before a crowd of 83,559, many of whom wer...

DETROIT - The Dallas Cowboys had their third straight victory pretty much wrapped up, but apparently Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford did not get the memo.
Trailing 24-30, Stafford marched his pride of Lions down to paydirt and scored ty...

The comic strip Peanuts first appeared in newspapers on October 2, 1950. It was written by Charles M. Schulz.
Initially the comic strip only included one character, an 8½-year-old boy named Charlie Brown.
But Schulz quickly realized that one little boy would not be enough to carry a comic strip that was read nationwide.
And soon other characters arrived. Some came and went never to be see...

The met office have been encouraged to issue a statement today after an influx of queries related to the definition of hurricanes, and why the UK never seems to admit to one. Media sources have cited increasing alarm over projected windspeeds for the...

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Chris Brown, the rap artist that the Tea Bag Party refers to as Chrissy "Beater" Brown is up to his old belligerent antics once again.
According to Jefferson Sierra with National Focus Magazine Brown was in a quasi gay club name...