Where creativity meets passion!

Three Types of Never Never First-time Comments!

Put it down to my severely depressed state of mind (if my mind were a mattress, it would be so depressed that if allowed yourself to drop on it, you’d crack a bone,) but I am feeling crabbier than a crab today. And yet, to keep my word, I must make a post. So prepare yourselves, ladies and gentlemen, for today I am going to list three first-time comments that held me from pressing the Approve button.

Producing them in disguise. This isn’t to make them feel bad, should they happen to chance upon these, but for new commenters, to help them avoid such commenting bloopers.

Weird First Comment 1:

Hey there Anand! I was just browsing around the blogosphere, trying to discover some interesting blogs to follow to make some new friends in the New Year.

Why not hop on over to my world at http://theGreatestBlogByTheGreatestBloggerInTheWorld.whatWasThatOhWordPress.theComelyOne. I’ve got a feeling you’d like it there, so if you like anything just comment or follow!
Cheerio!

If I had to respond…

Hey there, greatest blogger in the world! Thanks for stopping by. I am floored by the honor you’ve bestowed upon me. I bend my knee and I kiss the helm of your cloak. I am sure I’d like your blog if i visited, but your comment has made me decide against it. I have a feeling that if I visited, your royal guard will seize me and throw me into one of your dungeons, and I won’t be freed until I commented and followed.

Cheerio!

Weird First Comment 2:

Hey Anand! You’ve got a nice blog. I think you are a programmer. Where do you work? Do you telecommute, freelance, or have a day job. Don’t mind but I’d like to know if you program for the love of programming or because it helps you put food on the table.

Before you jump to conclusions, I must tell you that I am not stalking you. I’ve got a close friend who believes that programming is a difficult and demanding field. I am trying help her out by finding other alternatives for her. If you aren’t comfortable giving me all this information here, send me an email at: writeToMeAtThisIDifYouAreUncomfortable@GolmaalEmail.theComelyOne

If I had to respond…

Hey back, Ms. Paparazzi,

You think right. I am indeed a programmer. But I don’t confess my motivations to passersby. Had we known each other through a few more visits to each-others blogs, I would’ve definitely answered your questions that you have asked on behalf of your harassed friend.

I must commend you on ability to empathize. You correctly surmised that I won’t be comfortable giving you the information. Period. And in fact, I’d be even more uncomfortable giving you the information on email, because I might be stepping into a whirlpool of questions and answers, and never return.

Weird First Comment 3:

Anand, man. Some cool caricatures you make. So you draw them because you like drawing them right. Will you help me by making one for me. Me and my girlfriend – just plain ones. Can’t pay for it now, so anything you can make. I am sure, you’ll have a lot of fun doing it! Once again, man. Keep up the good work. Send me an email at iWantFreeCoolCaricatures@GolmaalEmail.theComelyOne

If I had to respond…

Visitor, man. One of the options that Ms. Paparazzi gave me was that I must do all this stuff to put food on the table. I am sure you and your girlfriend look like you’ve just stepped out of a fairy tale, but even then, working for a fee that could help me take wifey out for dinner would make me happier.

I will try to keep up the good work, but making just plain caricatures would be a step in the wrong direction. So to follow your advice, I must decline to accept your order for free caricatures.

Thanks Rashmi. The computers have revived, but my computer has managed to gobble up some of my testing software. I try to keep my promises, and in this case, some commenters supplied the relevant material 🙂

None of you. I’ve set the comment approval to “commenter should have at least one approved comment” so the first comments land in moderation. But if you permit, I’d like to delete this post. I don’t want anyone else to feel the same. May I?

Thanks Rashmi. I am glad Anandhotep stopped me from deleting it. Now there’s content here that belongs to others, and it would be unethical to do so. But for a moment I seriously thought that I might be hurting feelings. I’m different from Mom in many ways, and this is one of them 😀

I’d have deleted this post, but Anandhotep threatened to seal me in his tomb and take my place permanently, so the post is still there. If you have even one visible comment on my blog, you aren’t one of the commenters who are featured in this post.

PS: I’d love it if you added your own experiences with commenters in the comments to this post. Who knows, I might figure in one of yours 😀

🙂 We had a discussion on FB on this subject. The common comment we receive is ‘Nice post’. You seem to have generous commenters leaving you with lengthy read though not otherwise. It is likely that you will soon see people stumbling across your blog, finding it awesome and also bookmarking it. You must be extremely lucky to start the New Year with friends with a halo. Lol.

99% of the comments I get are relevant, and even when the commenters side with Mom and wifey, I accept their comments with equanimity. And yes, I am blessed to have a lot of QSM blogger friends, who are at least half as mad as me 😀 – and Anandhotep and I both love them!

😂😜Don’t worry…I don’t want you to get lost into trauma now!
Just stopped by to let you about how you post turned my frown into a smile. It really did help me lighten up my mood….
😊
Great work! Loving it…

Say it! Express it through words! I ditched the snarky and got back to being quirky, so I’ll be fine, even if you asked me whether I were an alien and came from another planet. Speaking of aliens and other planets, where is @piyushavir? It’s strange how I miss her disguised slights…

So Anandhotep whisked you away to his tomb? Did you find some priceless scarabs there? I bet the fever was a natural outcome of breathing that 3000 year old air inside the tomb. That joker should stop torturing QSM authors…

Hmmm, Anand…needed: a book on blogging etiquette. I have had the ‘visit my blog/follow my blog’ comments, and sometimes I actually do visit. And the focus will be something like medieval warfare on planets created for 1950’s sci fi films…and I realize the author is just randomly commenting on blogs without reading or ‘listening’ to the bloggers’ interests or intent…

Thank you. So you’ve got your own list. Isn’t it creepy – knowing that people have the time to go blog to blog – demanding that those bloggers visit their blogs! So you don’t like medieval warfare on planets from 1950’s sci-fi films. Good. How about some Ancient Egyptian warfare set in the modern world? Because if you don’t like it, please help me rid this world of the menace called Anandhotep!

So that was you! Bun, I didn’t expect it of you. I thought you’d have got your million by now, and that you had brought me my share in that bag! Last I visited my bank, the bank manager asked me to take my business elsewhere. “It costs us more to maintain it, than the balance you maintain in it,” he told me. (Snarky fellow. I can hardly stand him and his stick-on smile!)

I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one receiving these kinds of comments… I used to be really bemused by the kind of comments that claimed that my blog was absolutely awesome, changed the fellow’s life and he’d be my lifelong follower – and me never having written more than three posts at that point! 🙂

Might be a note of sincere appreciation. Your three posts changed his life…think what thirty would do? Want to email him at his golmaalEmail id and ask if he’s already transformed into an amoeba or a dinosaur? Perhaps you aren’t comfortable discussing it on your blog?!

Hilarious! I’d have rolled on the floor laughing had the floor not been so cold. But then I totally understand their need to order everyone (and everything else.) My dad retired from Military just a few years ago 😀 He would expect the trees, the stones, the mountains to move out of his way!

Thank you, Island Girl. I was having a depressing day…their comments just happened to become my punching bags. Good in a way, because now I won’t grow a tail and growl when I see those pending comments in my dashboard.

love it…I’m smiling now, which is good because I am frustrated with my computer. Really! L0L I always like to know what others think of my blog, but not when a first-timer comes up with something like: “You have an interesting blog, and the only thing I would change about it is the colors…and maybe the tone of voice…and your punctuation could improve a bit–otherwise good work.” I always want to say “who asked you?” Often I DO ask for opinions, but an introduction should not include any kind of unasked for negative stuff.

Thanks. Our computers had been harassing us too. We had to give in to their demands (new hard-disk, new RAM, maintenance and stuff,) before they came back to work. I made a post about it too. So…they don’t like the colors? Hah. And the tone of the voice too! Wonder why they took the trouble of staying on your blog long enough to comment.

Neerja, it sounds like I belong in the madhouse, doesn’t it? (actually, I might, but we don’t talk about such things on an open forum…perhaps you could mail me at my golMaalEmail.theComelyOne id) I think you don’t have to worry at all – I’ve always appreciated your comments on my blog.

ha ha 😀 I think we all have that madness streak some where hidden inside all of us ..your come in form of your malarkey’s and caricatures 😉 Mine come out in your comments 😛 I am glad my comments are appreciated by you 😉

As always enjoyed reading this post written by you. It made be cautious as I’m most of time at loss of words while commenting. I write , erase and again re-write I hope I have not left such comments at other fellow bloggers blog.

Megha, it isn’t easy to leave such comments on someone’s blog. They have to be deliberately thought out and planned. Just say what comes to your mind, and you’ll do fine. Also don’t let the snarky grammarians stop you from writing naturally. I even craft my own words sometimes. Just be yourself and you won’t go wrong.

Once I had a comment on a post I did on my Fitbit and how it was endangering my mortal soul. (For those who don’t know, Fitbit is a fancy pedometer that can connect to others for “friendly” competition)
This woman left a really long, weird comment, on how she thought Fitbits were stupid and a waste of money and how ridiculous people got with them, and ended with asking me for my email so we could connect our Fitbits.
Um… No.

A fitbit denigrator looking for someone who she can pry away from fitbit…I see a cunning strategist planning to destroy fitbit and take over the world. Be careful. Be very careful.

BTW, I know that you try to keep fit. Why do you try to keep fit? Is it for a passion for fitness or you do it because you must be fit to walk your dogs, so that your dogs don’t turn on you and bite you…I am asking because I want to help a close friend of mine, who has suddenly been bitten by the fitness bug. If you aren’t comfortable talking about it here, you can email me at….

Your responses were genius, and yes, I don’t KNOW WHERE people get off on making comments like they do. It’s like… they have NO consideration for the blogger they just read. Really? Who the hell writes about their personal life like that? They make less sense than my bosses do. And if I make a weird comment, PLEASE respond. I like hearing from you.

Also, sorry to hear about your mood. I sometimes feel that way, too. Best of luck with everything, and thank you VERY much for posting. We appreciate it.

Xara, was the remark “Who the hell writes about their personal life like that?” meant for me. Wifey thinks it was. The dog thinks I’m being ultra sensitive 😀 Don’t worry about the mood. It’s a roller coaster we all ride, and welcome too. I’ll be posting snarky malarkey all the time, because the steam of it keeps me going.

I am glad that you cleared this up. But frankly, your comment could’ve been for me…my life is an open book on my blog. The dog asked me if an apology is the same as a bucket of KFC because if it is, she accepts it. Wifey thinks that I can’t be outdone in miscommunication so everything is fine 😀

Of course. And that’s sweet to have an open book blog. I sort of have the same thing, but I don’t post my whole life due to HIPAA. Most of my life does revolve around my clients and work, and I am not authorized in any way to disclose information about them. And yes, ::gives the dog a bucket of KFC:: it is the same. And Wifey doesn’t know that I have Asperger’s and can’t communicate worth stuff.

Wandering Soul
9:40 am on February 1, 2016

so true. I have come across them too, so I know exactly what you mean.
Don’t think you would have offended anyone but it is a good lesson for those who may unknowingly be indulging in this. Good reminder of blogging etiquettes. 🙂

Anand, I read this a month ago but didn’t comment because I was afraid I would make you Weird Comment #4. However, I can’t resist this Snarky Malarky so decided to break down and take a chance. I’m really surprised I didn’t mark a like however. That should be safe even with the mummy (I can’t spell his name) watching. I’ll go back and do it now. Thanks for your visit today.

Strange. I received an e-mail saying you had seen “Both Wise Men and Fools Write. Which am I?” I wrote it months ago. Guess WP just found it in their Lost and Found! Hang in with the work before the mummy catches you just doing pleasantries.

No Oneta. I saw that post yesterday (it’s been almost a month that I visited other blogs.) When I visited your blog, I saw three spirituality posts, instead of the funny fare that I was hoping to find – so I checked the sidebar 😀 And let us hope that goon Anandhotep doesn’t find out about my excursions – you won’t tell him, will you?

Yes, Anand. I have been deep in serious thought for a while. I think that mission is complete.. That series was written because of a question put to me and I decided to do some spiritual issues a bit. I’ll make a bargain with you. I’ll think over something that suits you QSM style and let you know to come see. Something the mummy might approve of so he won’t make threats.

Don’t have anything available, but I’m in a serious aging crisis that I need to poke a bit of fun at. Laughing through my tears and Grandpa is not always treated fairly. Just a peek? I’m trying to learn how to use a cane efficiently. I keep him busy looking for it. Tragic case – and all that. Actually I had to buy two – one for each end of the house and still I get caught in the middle without one! So who do I yell for? Well I’m not writing it here. Maybe this will get my journalistic juices flowing.