Ken Cuccinelli Loses Bid to Re-Ban Sodomy

Perverts rejoice! And by "perverts," I mean pretty much all of you, at least according to national statistics. Ken Cuccinelli lost the final round in his attempts to get the state of Virginia to ban all the oral and anal sex you've been having. As attorney general of Virginia, Cuccinelli—now the Republican nominee for governor in the state—tried to reinstate a law banning oral and anal sex, even though such laws were found unconstitutional by the Supreme Court in 2003. On Monday, the Supreme Court politely denied his petition to hear a case to reinstate the law. They did not tell him where he could shove his request, but no matter what orifice he chooses, it remains legal in the state of Virginia.

Cuccinelli may be an anti-sex fanatic, but he is not a total idiot. He's seen charts like this one from the CDC that shows where the voters stand on the "is oral sex cool?" issue.

Cuccinelli is falling behind in the polls. His opponent, Terry McAuliffe, is up 24 points with female voters. Cuccinelli is still ahead with male voters, causing one to wonder why male voters in Virginia are so cavalier about their right to go downtown if they want to.