As director of Commencement, India Lowres oversaw a series
of ceremonies on May 24 and 25 across the university that
involved the awarding of 6,192 degrees, certificates, and
diplomas. Photo by
John Davis Photo Illustration by
Steve
Spartana

Q:What Could Possibly Go Wrong?A:
You wouldn't believe it if we told you.

For India Lowres, director of
Commencement, an entire year's work all comes down to a
single day. Though amazingly level-headed, even Lowres is
prone to middle-of-the-night panic attacks in the weeks
leading up to the big event.

What if the diplomas get lost? Suppose the infamous
"Streaker" decides to make another appearance this year?
What happens if the septic system chooses that particular
day to overflow? And don't even mention the potential for
weather disasters — extreme heat, blinding rain,
thunder, lightning, tornadoes...

Lest you think that Lowres is someone who just likes to
borrow trouble, consider the following real-life disasters
that actually have occurred at Johns Hopkins Commencement
in recent years:

The table holding the PhD diplomas got blown over,
sending all the diplomas flying into the wind.

A keynote speaker lost his contact lens just before
the ceremony. (Thankfully, an emergency trip to the Wilmer
Eye Clinic fixed things just in time.)

The elevator to the robing room got stuck with the
caterer inside.

When the customary red carpet failed to arrive,
planners had to rush to Bill's Carpet Barn so that the
visiting foreign dignitary would have something suitable to
walk upon.

Is it any wonder that Lowres keeps a bottle of aspirin
close at hand throughout the month of May?