Arse-kicking CI5 operatives Bodie and Doyle are to be brought out of retirement for a big-screen version of The Professionals.
Still from The Professionals. From left to right: Martin Shaw, Gordon Jackson and Lewis Collins According to the Hollywood Reporter, Lionsgate UK has acquired the rights to adapt the TV series for …

You just know...

Grrrr

I'm so so bored of Nathan Barley type people taking seminal TV series (or films) that bring me and millions like me fond memories and turning it into some half arsed, generic mush just to get a few quid in through the door. Nothing is sacred anymore, I think it started when they re-made the Italian Job and did that "Life on Mars" series that was little more than a crap take off of the Sweeney. If you don't have any original ideas of your own, here's an idea, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MEDIA YOU TEDIOUS COKE ADDLED PRICK AND MAKE WAY FOR SOMEONE THAT DOES HAVE SOME GOOD IDEAS rather than producing travesty rip offs of other people's original thinking from way back when.

Hold your horses!

Starsky and Hutch was an okay film but it was not really in the spirit of the of the original.

Remakes can work well if they are neither too slavish nor too tongue-in-cheek - then straight parody à la Bullshitters is better. Examples: Battlestar Galactica and, of course, Life of Mars is essentially The Sweeney reimagined and wonderfully slow. The biggest temptation would probably being too topical and working in too much back story - in medias res is the way to do it.

Professionals

Remember...

the opening titles? Bodie and Doyle abseil through windows, somersault on mats, pick up (I think) revolvers that happen to be just minding their own time, and then shoot the camera-man's assistant standing out of view.

Re Jim59

Oh god...

To the producer, SIT AND WATCH the original series.Then do the same again. Even today, its excellent, gritty cop TV at its best....Dont fuck it up.....There have been a few decent remakes in the last few years, but sadly, a lot of uber shite ones.. Dont fucking ruin the Proffesionals!!!!

Step forward The Stath

I would have thought Jason Statham will get in there somewhere, as he's contracted to Lionsgate for some stuff, and he's a bit cockney and well, has got typecast kicking people around as a bit of a geezer.

Like others, I doubt it'll see the light of day, and if it does, it'll most likely be shite. Still, one from my very young days, so a bit nostalgic none the less ;-)

Who to play Bodie?

My old mate Dave, who back in those days was known for bursting into the pub at 10:04 on a Sunday night just after it'd been on, throwing himself across the floor of the snug and rolling up to the benchseat near the fireplace, arms outstretched as if holding a gun to provide cover whilst shouting instructions at the top of his voice. Neat. He didn't have an RS though so is disqualified from being Bodie in any film. Shame - he'd be better than any big-name Yank who doesn't get it.

Any remake...

... and another bunch of people who somehow think that a new version will destroy their VHS/DVD collection of the old show, or somehow delete the memories from their brains.

In what possible way does it affect the old one if they make an update/remake/film/relaunch?

Chances are it will be bloody awful, like 80% of films and TV shows (from any era, not just the current. We only remember the good ones. For every "Professionals" or "Avengers" there are a dozen crap shows that I can't even think of for this poorly thought out example). But that doesn't affect the originals in any way. If anything it makes them seem better.

Of course, this sort of announcement and the outcry also raises another issue: Do the fans really believe that every old episode was pure gold?

When the new Trek film came out, the die-hards decried it, yet seemed to forget about Spock's brain being stolen, or the operation to re-insert Spock's brain, as talked Spock talked McCoy through the process 1 nerve at a time "Left arm nerve", or the space hippies with Spock's beatnik harp playing, or about 50% of the original shows which were pretty bloody awful (And I say that as a fan).

Updated version

Timothy Olyphant & Martin Sheen (not the old one.)

Martin Sheen would make an excellent Doyle, and Timothy Olyphant, of Hitman, would make great Bodie, with the right elocution.

IIRC the original bodie actually passed SAS selection in real life, but they wouldn't let him, on the grounds he was too famous. He also went too far into character in real life, and let off a shotgun. Think he moved to the states and disappeared.

I'm guessing you don't watch much TV

Remakes

I always thought that the movie of "The Avengers" had its moments, but you wouldn't have called it a classic episode. And it does seem that the way this sort of thing is handled has changed for the worst. I saw "Quantum of Solace" on TV over the weekend, and there was something almost disjointed about the structure. Danial Craig, Judi Dench, you have some serious acting talent, and it's a shame they didn't have a story to work with, just cut-scenes between action sequences.

James Bond is a little bit different, but these things have to somehow show the character dynamics of a long-running TV show. You're all too likely to get the awkwardness of a first episode. And it's hard to just play it as something the audience is familiar with because, mostly, they aren't.

I think I shall go and write my own action-adventure buddy movie. And I expect the special effects will be better too, running in the organic-CGI of my imagination. Though, for some reason, I can't quite get Jeremy Clarkson out of my head.