Does Monogamy work in Same-Sex Relationships?

What is monogamy, and is it a practical expectation for same-sex relationships? Pastor Romell and First Gentleman Damion Parks-Weekly delve into this topic in their first episode of From Me To We.

The gist of this episode is that single people need to SLOW DOWN and not try to rush into a relationship. Take time to get to know and enjoy the other person. You need to know if they are worth you and they need to know if you are worth them. You need time to build your relationship on a stable foundation of friendship first if it’s going to work. Rushing in because there’s heat, because there’s passion and attraction, isn’t grounds enough for a lasting connection. If you want real love, it takes time to build — and you NEED that time to determine if he is Mr. Right after all.

Romell and Damion remind viewers that monogamy involves more than just sex. It also means keeping your heart and thoughts only for the one you’ve chosen. The best things come to those who wait!

Take a look…

—* See more “From Me to We” videos by Pastor Romell and Damion Parks-Weekly on their YouTube channel.

In these two faith-affirming books, Pastor Weekly uncovers the biblical witness about sexual orientation and gender identity that will bring peace to your soul, and equip you to effectively minister to members of the LGBT community from a spirit of love and truth.

ROMELL PARKS-WEEKLY pastors an affirming congregation in Saint Louis, Missouri, and has written two life-changing books about homosexuality and the Bible: Homosexianity and The Rebuttal, both available from Amazon.com.

5 Responses

I’m wondering if you can clarify a distinction for me. Your video touched on what many people call “emotional affairs.” What do you see as the difference between getting too emotionally involved with someone outside your primary relationship and simply having a close friendship with that person? I ask because, as a genderfluid straight person, I’m in a committed relationship with my wife yet have many close women friends. My wife is fine with this–she even encourages it–yet I feel judged by the term “emotional affair,” as though one should avoid close friendships for fear of them developing into affairs. Maybe I’m just misunderstanding how people use the term. Can you help make the distinction for me? (Great video, by the way. Love the format.)

Hello, John. I don’t think that having a close relationship with a person of the same sex that you’re attracted to is necessarily a bad thing at all. This issue is especially prominent when it comes to gay men for whom the vast majority of their friends may be other men (including other gay men). So, in your case, being straight, yet having many female friends, it’s really the same type of dynamic.

So, it’s not about having close relationships/friendships with people of the same sex that you’re attracted to. It’s about taking care that romantic feelings don’t develop for that person, and that if they do, taking steps to either “purge” those feelings or get yourself out of a situation that is, itself, unhealthy, and can lead to unhealthy actions. Loving someone as a close friend is a far cry from falling in love with a person romantically. Only the latter is problematic, and is what I consider a form of cheating or having an “emotional affair.” Of course, where that line is and when you cross it really has more to do with the INDIVIDUAL and their feelings.

At the risk of this comment becoming too long… 🙂 You’re definitely right that some people actually preach that any relationships with people of the sex you’re attracted to is inappropriate for fear that it can develop into more. I think that that’s a very limiting, fear-based approach to life that we should try to avoid. If it’s a problem for a specific individual, then that specific individual should take appropriate action. But we certainly shouldn’t try to make it a cultural more for people to be friends. For many, that’s not a problem; so they shouldn’t be judged by an “outsider” on what’s gong on in their heart.

It does, Pastor, and thank you for that response. You make great points, particularly about the “limiting, fear-based approach to life.” The only thing I’d add is that, at least from my experience, the line between friendship and romance is not always a clear line: many of the feelings characteristic of friendship can be characteristic of romance, and vice versa. I’ve also had friendships where those feelings have proven useful when channeled away from romance and toward deepening the friendship. But that all takes a lot of work, and I agree with you fully that vigilance is required.