So Much to Learn About Love

Hello,I have written you a letter I will call a "Love Note". You're getting this "Love Note" because I really do want to be better at Love and help other people see it and learn about its' availability to them. I will write and send a "Love Note" like this to a different person each day for thirty days. In each "Love Note" I will focus on my personal experience with Love and will not give advice, direction or suggestions. For this reason, my "Love Notes" will always go to someone I've never met and know nothing about. I chose you at random to get this note, but I am hopeful that what I write will have meaning to you.

What a day this has been! I don't even know where to begin as I write. Today I was pressed and then blessed with so much! First, I realized I still have SO, SOOOOO much to learn about Love. I have to get over the "feel good", "good deed" and "I am a good person" aspect of "doing" Love; that is NOT what Love is about. I suppose I may have to spend YEARS doing anonymous acts of Love and act with kindness toward people who are terrible to me or downcast in the world before I really "get it". (Surely Mother Theresa didn't look around to see who might be watching or think about what a good person someone would think she was as she wiped the dirt off the face of a child digging through garbage to forge a meal.)

I'm feeling ashamed even blubbering this prideful rubbish in a letter.... this awful, cursed, shameful, human pride. But, I am writing; and I have been writing now for six days, counting today. Each day I am learning more about what I DON'T know about Love, and that is something. Now, I begin to think, "Well, I'm doing more than most people, I can't be that terrible. I am trying to lead others and do the right thing; etc. etc. etc." It all sounds good until I look into my heart, but only sometimes.

Everyone has a different measure of what is right for them, and clearly I am not meeting my standard often enough. I am certainly rambling, but I believe the point of this is that we all have different ideals of what is acceptable for us. If I feel I am not doing enough, I am right. If someone else is satisfied with exactly the same amount of something, that is right also. That's not to say there isn't a defined "right and wrong", but the amount, intensity and clarity is our own. I want to be better than I was yesterday every day, and I would hope continuos improvement would be the standard. I want to be more unselfish, honest, empathic and desiring to do good than before. It's challenging, but more than possible and it's what I want. Moreover, I want to lead other people into wanting the same; wanting to "do" more Love each day to show I am one of God's children. In this sense, I am happy with the progress I am making.

Well, I am running dry and this has definitely been an emotionally challenging day with all this "stuff" whirling around in my head; this is my love letter to you and I hope the chaos made sense, helped or touched you in some way. Of all the people I could have mailed this "Love Note" to, I chose you. Even though your name was picked at random, I am certain it wasn't by chance.