Be Unoffendable

You know those sermons that REALLY convict you? The message given is what you need to hear, but you don’t want to hear it because it makes you feel so guilty. One of our pastors recently shared a sermon on how to handle offense. We have all become offended. It’s so easy to do. Whether it’s a situation with your spouse, a co-worker, or let’s be honest even a complete stranger – we are so quick to jump to an offensive state.

I learned so much from this sermon, including that when we become offended we enter the natural realm (leaving the spiritual realm) and it hinders us from walking in the Spirit. The enemy loves when offenses take place because they immediately separate us from one another. When we are walking in offenses and unforgiveness, we can’t be walking in love and unity.

Below are some of the main points from this sermon answering several questions including ‘What is an offense’, ‘Why do we get offended’, and ‘How we should respond to an offense’.

What is an offense?

An offense is defined as ‘an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one’s standards or principles’. It is a breach of law or an illegal act that takes place. It’s inevitable that offenses are going to happen. Jesus said so in Luke 17:1, which says, “then he said to his disciples, “It is impossible that no offense should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!”

“And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come.” Matthew 24:10–14

Why do we get offended?

We get offended when we don’t deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Jesus fully. There are a lot of things that can cause us to become offended including putting expectations on other people. The more we expect, the greater the potential offense. If I expect Colby to greet me at the door when I come home, and he doesn’t, then I immediately enter an offensive state. This is a very simple example, but I believe just as important. What happens when an offense takes place is it then has a domino effect as we try to communicate with the people who offended us. But, when we remove expectations, then the offense won’t take place.

Another reason we get offended is because we are prideful and selfish. We want things our way and as humans, we are afraid to admit that we are wrong. Pride causes us to view ourselves as victims. Our attitude becomes, “I was mistreated and misjudged; therefore, I am justified in my behavior.” It keeps us from seeing personal character flaws because the blame is deferred to someone other than ourselves. We immediately think there is nothing wrong with us and put all faults on the offender. When we humble ourselves before others and Jesus, then we prevent any offense to take place.

How are we to respond to offenses when they come?

Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.” John 5:19

Offenses determine where we are spiritually and reveal the condition of our heart. The more mature we are in Christ and have a heart like His, the more likely we are to follow the leading of the Spirit of God, and the less offended we will become. Instead of responding with emotions, we will be able to respond with grace and love.

We must be prepared and armed for offenses, so we can act just like Jesus would. We have one of two reactions when offenses come: we can deal with it before the Lord, or we can destroy others. The choice is up to you! How are you going to respond next time when an offense comes? Let’s all be aware of how we have offended others, repent, and seek to become unoffendable.

34 Comments

This made me think of the verse in Psalms that says, “Great peace have they that love thy law, and nothing shall offend them.” I have thought of that verse so many times through the years, and I so want to live my life that way. It is just like you said, it is when we walk after the flesh and not after the Spirit that we become offended. Self is our worst enemy, and when it rears its ugly head, it is such an indicator that we are not walking in relationship with Jesus. He never became offended, and He had more reason to be than we will ever comprehend. We can get so offended over such petty things, when He suffered more abuse, rejection, and isolation than we will ever know. To be like Him, we truly have to get over ourselves.

This is so true. I once heard that whenever we are offended, it is actually our ego. It’s one thing to be hurt and then to let it go…that’s different. But if we know it’s not true, to take offensive is ego and not walking in the spirit. If it is true, it’s all the more important to walk in the spirit and continue on the road of sanctification.

So easy to get offended in this world today – great post. I was SUPER offended the other day when I logged into WordPress and there was a rainbow banner (I had to force myself to just remember the Reason For God’s rainbow – that it meant a love thing rather than a pride thing… I also read a book called Bait of Satan and its ALL about not getting offended 🙂 Thanks for such a great share 🙂

Should we not be offended by the false teaching and do our part to teach the truth? Jesus himself overturned the tables in the Temple. While I can agree we need to measure WHY we are offended – is it a self issue or is it a Scriptural one, when we are God’s people we should not sit by idly while lies are proclaimed in place of the truth. I can be offended by the sin and evil in the world (even in my own life), but if I do nothing about it, what good is that?

Interesting perspective. I am one who at times gets easily offended. Mostly by my boss who is a very egotistical person and is hurtful to others. I’m trying to figure out how to not get offended by personal attacks, but it’s tough when someone attacks your character.

I ADORE This post… we live in a world where EVERYONE gets so offended anymore.
That’s a big thing in our church about not passing on your offenses to others – don’t give someone a reason to hold an offense against someone that doesn’t even involve them.

I agree that we need to keep our attitudes and responses in check and love others with love. but there are times that I’m offended, and probably should be. I’m not hateful, hurtful or mean in my response but I will express my opinion and lately as a christian – when we do voice our opinions everyone assumes hate…which is simply not true.

Thanks for that reminder today. It’s easy for me to get offended at work when people question what I’m doing or what I know. Good to know I’m not alone, and that God’s still going to love me when I fall short.

You make great points. It is very true that taking offense is a way of blaming others while ignoring own one faults. But taking offense on a regular basis is exhausting and often prevents us from seeing our common humanity. Of course there is wrong in the world and it is offensive, but in most everyday cases it is better to put aside offense.

Fantastic post and so true. I was trying to have grace in a personal conversation with another believer, but she was arguing and debating. It felt so aggressive. I kept trying to gracefully end the conversation, but every direction toward that end, she pushed another question at me. Nothing expressed her immaturity more than her offended tone when I refused to accept her opinion over Biblical truth. I wish I could like this post a million times.

Thank you for this thread, which shared with me a Biblical perspective I’d never thought of before. It’s a remarkable idea I’m certainly going to think about a lot this quiet evening. 🙂 – Jerusha, TheDisneyChef.com

Oh yes, friend! I’ve been there. The conviction is so strong you feel like everyone in the sanctuary is staring at you. I love this post! Act just like Jesus did. Great reminder! Thank you for sharing this.

REALLY enjoyed this blog post! I’ve been thinking about this topic alot recently. It’s this very thing that has driven our family apart sadly. If only people could realize what they are doing and how foolish it is! Thank you for sharing your heart!

How true this is and very familiar to me! It was a book I know God lead me to read about forgiveness! I skipped right over it because I just did not want to read it, I didn’t want to feel the conviction. Maybe a month later it surfaced again, this time I KNEW I better take heed. So I just purchased it and it’s very necessary

Coming off of a week where I was indeed easily offended by family members, coming upon your post came at just the right time for me, God’s perfect time.

I was very convicted by the statement you shared which said, “Offenses determine where we are spiritually and reveal the condition of our heart. The more mature we are in Christ and have a heart like His, the more likely we are to follow the leading of the Spirit of God, and the less offended we will become. Instead of responding with emotions, we will be able to respond with grace and love.”

I try very hard to work on having no expectations, but there is the problem, I am trying to do this in my own strength. I must seek the Lord and know that He is my all in all and let the love flow out to others from the knowledge that I am wholly loved by Him.

Oh my goodness, girl. I feel like you wrote this for me today! I can’t believe I never realized before now what was happening in some of the relationships in my extended family. I think I told you that someone in my extended family continues to belittle me for not having kids and for being a teacher, which offends me of course. But it has offended me to the point of deciding not to continue a relationship with them, which makes the enemy so happy! Needless to say, I’m going to do what I can to walk in the spirit, and show love even if I’m not receiving it. Thanks for sharing this!

This is such a great reminder for me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so it’s not hard at all to become offended. But when I focus on Jesus, I focus much less on myself. (More of Him, less of me. More of Him, less of me.)

I think this is something really important for all of us to remember as Christians. We should not be the kind of people who are easily offended–taking offense is not showing the kind of grace to others that we have received for ourselves.

This is so great! I really needed to hear this. I went through a situation this week where I got offended by someone who is really hurting and took their frustrations out on me. I am thankful the Lord showed me that I need to respond in love, forgiveness and grace towards them. Jesus took all our offenses upon himself.We need to follow his example and let go of bitterness and die to ourselves. Thank you so much for these words of truth! I will be coming back to them a lot! Li king up with you at #wordswithwinter:)

What an excellent entry, Caroline. I find myself getting offended often, and it will completely ruin my mood. I have been working on this, but your entry gives me new verses that I can use to help with it. Thank you for writing this! *Hugs*