Wednesday, March 21, 2012

My Story Of Passion.

Throughout my entire life I've been searching for something I was talented
at. From the beginning of middle school until the time I was a junior in high
school. I tried EVERYTHING from basketball, soccer, volleyball, theatre arts,
dance, Academic Decathlon, speech, and so on. I found that throughout this
process of finding what I was truly passionate about I discovered that I was an
artsy person. I was good at acting, dancing, writing and so on. I knew
that I was meant to be in that scene. I was always “good” never “amazing” or “wonderful.”
I was ALWAYS just “good enough.”

Throughout middle school I was made fun of severely. Because of my fashion sense
and because I was a bigger size than most girls in junior high. I developed incredibly
early and had a bigger chest than most girls. I had a crazy fashion sense,was
loud, and incredibly bubbly. Everyone always had something to say about me. Whether
it was criticizing how nice I am, or criticizing what I was wearing, they were
ALWAYS saying something negative about me. I needed instant self-gratification
so I began cutting. Long story short, I got out of that phase through counseling
and a lot of hard work on my part. I began to develop who I was the difficult way
-- getting hurt by the people I loved the most. It was tough, and brutal but I
survived. I NEVER changed who I was for anybody. I was always the loud,
obnoxious, bubbly girl.

Throughout high school I would constantly get compliments on my makeup and
my friends would repeatedly tell me that I should be a makeup artist. Receiving compliments was new to me. I never
took it into consideration until about Junior year. I fell in love with a man
who made me who I am today. If you read any of my blog posts MOST of them are
about him. Anyways, senior year of high school was both AMAZING and HELL. I had
constant breakdowns in and out of school. I couldn't step foot on my high
school without having to remember this man. Let's just say...if you've read my
poetry you understand the impact he had on me. Ever since then my wall has been
up. ANYWAYS, let me not bore you with my past love life. Senior year was
emotionally draining. I remember stumbling upon makeup tutorials on YouTube and
somehow when watching these tutorials they would mend my emotional pain and I'd feel
instant gratification through them. My mind would completely delve into what I was watching and everything around me completely disappeared.

My ENTIRE senior year I delved myself in these tutorials. I began attending
MAC classes and attended a Glaminar that was taught by Kandee Johnson whom is
the main reason I actually became a makeup artist. Her videos along with Makeup
Geek (Marlena), Petrilude, Wayne Goss, and a couple other of Youtube Gurus were
the main reason I decided to gear my focus towards a career in makeup. I would constantly
go into MAC and Sephora -- ask questions and learn from the artists there. I
practically lived on YouTube, MAC & Sephora. I attended IMATS and began to
slowly create my kit. HONESTLY, my kit began with most of MY makeup. I realized
I had a SHIT TON of makeup I wasn't using and decided to sacrifice them in
order to begin my starter kit. I sanitized the shit out of EVERYTHING (which
wasn’t hard because most of the stuff I didn’t even touch) and began. It first
started out as fun and games. My best friend Natalie Coelho & I had a fun
photoshoot inspired by Imogen Heap & Lady Gaga and the pictures actually
turned out really decent. So...I started a Model Mayhem account with these
pictures, made a business card and began responding to casting calls and giving
out my card to EVERYONE I met! It started out as fun but then I realized I was
happy on set. The happiest I was in the longest time. I felt liberated, alive,
and I never saw myself smile as much as I did while I was painting faces. The more
I continued getting gigs, the more I began to realize that being a makeup
artist was what I wanted to do -- it was my calling.

Anyways, that's the small story of how I got into makeup. The main reason of
why I am writing this is because my search if FINALLY over. This maze I've been
running around in has finally ended and I have TRULY found something I am
incredibly, crazy, head over heels, passionate about. Words are simply not
enough to explain how much I love painting faces. I want to delve into this art
in so many different ways by taking sculpting classes, drawing classes,
painting classes, EVERYTHING possible. I want to get to know my art INSIDE AND
OUT. The fact that I have found the love of my life is amazing -- beyond words.
It is the ONE THING I KNOW I am good at. THE ONE THING. I swear...I don't have
the best self-esteem, I can go on and on about things that are wrong with me
but I'd rather not list that out haha. However, I am actually CONFIDENT in my
work as an artist. I know I have the potential to exceed and go far and I am
willing to do whatever it takes to make my dreams come true.

I have come to comprehend that my career means more to me than I could ever
imagine. I never thought it was possible to fall so deeply in love with this
art. I am not just painting faces; I am creating art, expressing my emotion, expressing
who I am through this form of art. If you have honestly come this far reading
my little sappy story I truly THANK YOU. One very important thing I want to
tell everyone is to NEVER...I mean NEVER give up on your dreams. Passion truly
wins in the end. It really does. After all, all the geniuses are madmen after
all aren't they?Let's all love and make art -- make art and love. This is what
life is about. Don’t ever stop chasing.