Date: Sun, 28 May 2000 11:52:46 -0700
From: David Cross
Subject: cameron-4
The usual disclaimers apply - ie. no reading this if you're not of age to
read it, and no peeking at this if you can't stand gay people (which would
bring to mind the question of what the hell you're doing reading this
anyway).
Names and places (but not the city I lived in) have been changed to protect
the privacy of both myself and the people who I'm inserting into this
story.
All questions etc can be directed to dcross1@home.com
"Don't let it be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief shining
moment that was known as Camelot."
----
I don't remember thinking about too much on the walk home; I was still
coming to grips with the changes that had happened to me in the last couple
of days. One thing that did come to the forefront though was whether or not
my parents and brothers would understand the concept of my being gay, never
mind that I was "seeing someone". I wanted them to find out in a way that I
could control, at least partially - I certainly didn't want them finding
out by walking in on Cameron and myself kissing!
I opened the front door, and I noticed my brothers weren't downstairs
watching TV; they must have gone upstairs and began playing with the
Nintendo system. I slipped into the bathroom which was just around the
corner from the kitchen, and checked myself over in the mirror - hair not
too mussed up, and it was windy outside anyway. No suspicious stains on my
shirt, and I didn't think the smell of orgasmic fluid would be noticed,
especially if I managed to avoid being too close to Mom or Dad.
I took a deep breath and prepared to face the parental units. I knew they
had a tendency to get Gestapo on me whenever I deviated from my fairly
regular routine of school, the library, and homework. Last year they'd
practically run me through the Spanish Inquisition over a relatively minor
matter of where the money came from to pay for an all-day excursion
throughout the city of Richmond that myself and another friend, Sam, had
engaged in. Basically, I'd put my lunch money that I'd saved up through the
week in with the money I was given, and when the change that came back
didn't balance (I forgot and gave them back an extra dollar), well, you can
imagine what the 30-minute Q&A session involved.
Given this, I was slightly nervous about the possibility of having to think
fast on my feet in order to avoid getting caught in a logical
inconsistency. I couldn't very well just say "Oh, I'm gay and Cameron and I
are doing things you never imagined I'd do." Great conversation opener,
not! I decided if I stuck as close to the truth as possible and then said
we lost track of time playing games on his Sega Genesis, it would work.
I rounded the corner and walked into the kitchen; Mom was just unloading
the dishwasher and putting the dishes, cups, et cetera back into their
proper places. I said, "Hi, Mom. Sorry I came in so late."
She said, "Where were you?" Mind you, her tone wasn't accusatory; she was
just honestly curious. Fate smiles on fools, little children, and gay teens
sometimes, it seems.
"Ah, I was just out at Richmond Square - we walked around for ages, played
a couple games at the arcade, and then went back to Cameron's place and he
showed me his Sega Genesis." I hoped my voice hadn't trembled a little. I
tended to be a lousy liar.
"OK. Well, your dinner's just waiting in the microwave."
I poured myself a glass of milk, set it on the table, and then I walked
over and hit a couple of buttons on the microwave to heat the dinner up for
a minute and a half, then when the microwave beeped, I took out the plate,
unwrapped it, got a knife and fork and sat down at my usual place to eat
dinner.
Just when I thought that would be the end of it, Mom closed the dishwasher
door and asked, "So is Cameron a nice guy?"
I almost damn near about did a double take, and then realized she didn't
mean the double entendre. This Espionage 101 stuff took more practice than
I thought. "Oh, he's cool. I'll probably keep hanging out with him and
stuff."
"Good. I got a little worried about you when you were out so late."
"I'm OK, Mom."
"Yes, I can see that now. I just can't help it sometimes." Was she going to
keep me here even when I was going to go to university?! Apron strings be
damned, I thought.
"Anyway, I'm going to go upstairs and do homework."
"OK, David. Bedtime at 9:30!"
I finished off my supper, put the plate, cup and utensils in the sink and
let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. Jesus, but being gay could
make you even more paranoid. Damn, but I hated this cloak-and-dagger
stuff. I wasn't cut out for these chess games of anticipating someone
else's move, and preparing my countermove. It was fun to read about that
sort of thing in books, but living it was another matter entirely.
I walked upstairs, seemingly normal as I had done so many times before, but
internally it felt like a leaden weight was on each foot. I walked down the
upstairs hallway to my bedroom, closed the door, lay back on the bed and
groaned. After about 5 minutes of wondering how I was going to deal with
life, I decided with some difficulty that I would simply have to cast the
problem aside, and do homework.
At about 9:00, I had finished the math questions and the first half of a
question set for English. Thankfully, the English teacher wouldn't assign
the second half until next week.
I picked up the book I'd just gotten recently from Dad when he'd gotten
back from one of his frequent business trips. It was titled _The Caves of
Steel_ and it was by Isaac Asimov. I'd read a portion of it in U.S.S.R. in
school, and wanted to finish it tonight since it was, in a word,
captivating. All too quickly, though, 9:30 rolled around and I put the book
down, disappointed to have to stop reading about the adventures of Elijah
Baley, mentally cursed early bedtimes, turned out the light, and began a
sleep that would be filled with strange dreams.
*** The next morning ***
I woke up with a start, and caught a glimpse of the clock. 6:30 AM. I was
breathing heavily, as though I'd done the 4-minute mile. My dream came
rushing back to me: I was in the kitchen as normal, but my parents were
sitting on either side of the table with me at the end, in my usual
suppertime place. Only they weren't eating supper with me; they were
hurling questions and accusations! Dad without a trace of warmth or
concern, Mom alternately crying and furious.
"Who is that Cameron boy? Why do you like him so much? Aren't you going to
get a girlfriend? How will we explain this to Dad's co-workers and Mom's
friends? What will his parents say?" and it went on and on in a whirl of
yelling and cussing so rapid I couldn't remember the rest of the words; I
just knew that I was grateful to have woken up when I did.
I dragged myself out of bed, grabbed some clothes to wear for the day and
trudged into the bathroom, remembering to lock the door. I turned on the
light and looked in the mirror, and the reflection seemed to be of a person
tired and old; years later, when Premier Dan Miller's picture went on the
paper the day after he assumed the office in the wake of Premier Glen
Clark's resignation, I recognized the similarity - it was the same
expression of utter defeat, yet the show had to go on with him as the lead
role. Well, I didn't know anything about Dan Miller at the time, of
course. I just knew that I couldn't live this lie forever, but I had to
deal with it somehow.
It helped to remember the sensation still new to me; that a person who
cared about me, body and soul, would be at school that day and that I would
be able to take comfort from his presence. It took some of the leaden
weight off my shoulders, and I stepped into the shower stall, feeling
slightly more confident.
Having finished the morning ritual and seeing it was only 6:50 AM, I
stepped downstairs and got some cereal, then came back up and booted up the
Apple. I ran the terminal program, and dialled into a couple of BBSes which
were focussed on the Apple, and I viewed the public messages, and made
notes of a couple files I wanted to download later that day. I logged off
the second BBS, and shut off the computer.
By 7:30, I'd finished getting my books into my backpack, and headed out the
door. By 7:50, I was at my locker, making sure I was ready for the day
ahead. Classes for the day would be Consumer Education, Social Studies,
Math, French, and English.
I had some time to kill before the first class, and I walked around school,
not noticing too much. Nodding hi to some people I knew, but anticipating
the moment when Cameron would arrive, so I could feast my eyes on him
again, and find out what we were going to do that weekend. At the thought
of spending a whole day with my boyfriend, I began smiling. Ah, life was
sweet when your thoughts were filled with someone you loved... that
certainly felt good!
Just a little after 8, I was walking in the south locker area, and lo and
behold! Yay! Cameron was just getting in the door. I rapidly walked over to
say hello and I could see his eyes sparkle as he saw me; when I approached
within talking distance, he said, "My parents didn't give me too much
hassle over the 'dinner'; they were just pleased that I seemed to be
impressing chicks! So don't worry about them thinking something's wrong." I
felt slightly relieved that the day of reckoning had been pushed off - for
now.
I said, "Good thing, man. Anyway, I just wanted to feast my eyes on you and
find out what was up for this weekend." I winked, and got the pleasure of
seeing him blush just ever so slightly.
"Well, I was thinking of having you at least meet my parents first, then we
could go out to Garry Point and hang out, kinda play it by ear you know?"
I knew I'd have to meet his parents sometime, so I didn't mind getting that
over with. Garry Point was a beach in southwestern Richmond; I'd never been
there, but as it turned out, was a semi-popular hangout for people who
needed something to do and didn't want to leave Richmond to do it, but also
didn't like the idea of just bumming around at a shopping mall.
I said, "Not a bad idea - I don't really have any ideas of my own to add,
though."
"S'OK. Like I said, we can play it by ear. Besides, the _real_ important
part is I get to be with you!" He grinned infectiously, and I began
grinning also. Unfortunately, it was now almost 8:15, and classes would
begin soon.
"Hey Cameron, wanna sit with me again at lunch?"
"Sure!"
"Ok, I got Math just before that, you want to meet in the lunch area?"
"Deal! Seeya then!"
I clasped Cameron's shoulder for a couple of seconds, and we shared an
intimate glance - one that conveyed the feelings we had for each other even
when overlaid by everyday events. I let go of his shoulder, and he touched
me lightly on the arm as he smiled and then said softly, "You know I love
you, right?"
I couldn't do anything but blush, nod, and dash to my Consumer Education
class...
*** Lunch time ***
Classes, thankfully, had not been too boring or I would have found myself
inevitably daydreaming about Cameron; hiding the evidence of THAT would
have been a bit troublesome! ;)
We sat at the same table as the day before, and we began discussing whether
or not I should go to his place or he to mine after school, or to just wait
until Saturday. I was of the opinion we should wait until Saturday; Cameron
wanted me to go over to his place again that night. I pointed out that we'd
have all day anyway, and in all honesty I wasn't sure if my parents noticed
anything unusual yet. Maybe not, but I didn't want to run any risks if I
didn't have to.
Cameron eventually agreed, though I could tell he wasn't that happy ahout
it. I promised I'd be at his locker before I went home that day, and that
seemed to lift his spirits somewhat. We spent the lunch period discussing
in depth what we could do on Saturday - it was eventually settled that I
would go over to Cameron's place at about 10 am, and be back around 4 or 5
pm. We could then settle whether or not his parents would let me stay for
supper or if I would go back home then.
All too soon, however, lunch ended and I groaned, thinking of the last two
classes to go. Cameron winked and said, "Relax, Dave, just two more to go
and you're outta here!" I chuckled and said, "OK, race ya to French!"
Of course, the lucky bum had a locker very close to Mrs. Thompson's room,
so he got there first. As I walked in the door, I saw him at his desk and
he stuck his tongue out at me, to which I responded in kind. I then smiled,
nodded my head, and sat at my own desk, waiting for the teacher to begin
the lesson.
Two hours later, I was back at Cameron's locker, chatting.
I said, "So see you tomorrow then?"
He replied a little unenthusiastically, "Yeah."
Trouble. "I know you're not happy, but please... I don't even know what the
risks are if we get busted, I have NO idea how my parents will react!" A
panic began to rise within me; would Cameron eventually insist that we show
ourselves to the world before evaluating the risks? Or would my parents,
even after accounting for all odds and possibilities, throw me out? What
about his parents?!
He sighed. "I see your point, Dave. I'm sorry for being a little pushy - I
was just hoping we'd be able to get together again tonight."
My expression mirrored his of disappointment, as I replied, "I know, but
I'd rather not have my parents wondering why I'm hanging out with you so
much before I get a chance to explain why. They have a real tendency to be
nosy."
Cameron nodded as he closed and locked his locker. We clasped hands in the
arm-wrestling style, and then I touched his shoulder and said, "See ya
tomorrow. I'll call you as soon as I check it with my parents, OK?"
"Gotcha. I'll let you know what my parents say about it."
We gazed into each others' eyes momentarily, and simultaneously smiled at
each other; when I realized what had happened, I started giggling; he said
"What? Do I have a zit on my face or something?" At that, I broke out
laughing. After my laughter subsided, I said, "No, it's not that... it's
just that we both did the same thing, like we were twins or something!"
At that, Cameron chuckled as well and said, "Well, I can't think of a
better guy to have that kind of 'link' with."
"Ok, I gotta get going. Be at your place by 10 am tomorrow with bells on."
"I'd rather have it with no clothes, but oh well..."
I just mock-glared at him and swatted his head lightly with my hand. "Such
a dirty mind!"
Cameron just waved in response and picked up his backpack; I returned the
wave and headed for the northern exit doors and onward home.
Supper was the usual ritual, marred only by my Mom coming into my room just
before I was about to start doing homework, and asking, "Is everything all
right with Cameron? He didn't come here today and you weren't at his
place." Parents. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Had I brought
him over, the question likely would have had to do with why I saw him after
school three days in a row.
I replied, "Yeah, Mom, everything's fine. He just had a lot of homework and
stuff. Is it OK if I go to his place tomorrow?"
She said, "That's all right. What will you be doing?" Great. Gestapo
session had arrived.
"I'm not sure yet. I know I'll have to be back at his place by 4 or 5, so
I'll be back in time for supper."
"Are you going to be going anywhere?"
"Maybe Garry Point; I've never been there - it's a beach in Richmond, and
he mentioned something about it and said it'd be cool to show me since I
haven't seen it."
"Well, you be careful; you never know what kind of people are out there
these days."
I groaned internally and said, "Mom, he's in the same grade in the same
school! This isn't some total stranger."
She relented and said, "All right, all right. I just worry about you."
Looks like the apron strings were back. So much for a long-term
loosening. Darn.
After Mom left, I called Cameron and relayed the entire Q&A session to him,
ending with "I'm not sure if my Mom's just naturally nosy or she really
thinks something's wrong. Geez."
He said, "Well, it's OK; you got permission, so that's the important thing!
My parents want to meet you, and they said it's OK for us to be out
tomorrow."
Whew. "That's good news and bad news. I'm sorta nervous about meeting your
parents. Shit, it feels like we're getting married and I'm meeting the new
in-laws!"
He chuckled a little and said, "Yeah, but hey, if we *do* get married the
in-laws will already know the important people involved!"
I hesitated a little before answering; did he mean that comment about
getting married? I didn't even know how two people decided they did want to
get married, or even whether people in love, and it sure looked like
Cameron and I were lovers, talked about marriage so early in a
relationship...
"I guess that's true. But let's work on the simple part first, which is
going out with each other."
"Simple?! Yeah, right. Kinda like how dashing across Number Three Road is
simple in traffic at 3 in the afternoon!"
"Oh yeah? What if it was as simple as crossing that same road at 3 in the
morning, eh?"
"Uh-huh. That's for the straight couples." I knew what he meant; the
comparison to dodging traffic was apt.
"Well, we'll get to that later. Anyway, I gotta go."
"Yeah, me too. Can't talk too long on the phone, something might slip out!"
"Seeya."
"Seeya."
And thus ended a phone call that, unbeknownst to me, would change my
world...
----
And so ends part 4. Looks like the parental units let me off easy that
time! *grin* Let me know if I sucked (no, not THAT way, you pervs) :-)
Part 5 should be out shortly - apologies for the long delay in getting this
part out!