Since becoming an Atheist about 4 months ago, I've been pretty excited but I think some mourning is beginning to settle in....

I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm pretty happy with the road I chose to take. It feels overwhelming with the road ahead not really knowing where to go from here, anticipating how everyone is going to react once they find out, wondering how it feels to be free, wondering when I will make my first offline atheist friend who I can really be myself around, wondering if I'll be forever single because I cannot find an atheist boyfriend.

On the other hand I could continue to pretend that I am a Christian. Even go to church. Pray with friends and family. Say the empty "I will pray for you" whenever someone is ill or dying. Avoid conflict. Pretend to live a religious life. Pray at the dinner table.

I don't think I could go back to that empty life even if I wanted to. I am beginning to realize how permanent this is.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I just feel so let down and disappointed. And scared...

I feel like I am starting all over again in a new life with no real sense of direction.

Personally, I say don't worry, in time your mind will settle and you'll start to get things straight.
Probably some left over indoctrination.

Then again, I can't say it has happened to me...

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.

You're certainly not alone. You've given up an old worldview based on fantasy with a completely contradictory worldview that you had to claw and scratch at to learn and understand. Take pride in breaking down the barriers that kept you from this freedom. But you're sounding like your initial "shock" at shedding the old paradigm is fading and you're beginning to feel the pain of separation.

(13-11-2012 02:09 AM)kpax Wrote: Since becoming an Atheist about 4 months ago, I've been pretty excited but I think some mourning is beginning to settle in....

I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm pretty happy with the road I chose to take. It feels overwhelming with the road ahead not really knowing where to go from here, anticipating how everyone is going to react once they find out, wondering how it feels to be free, wondering when I will make my first offline atheist friend who I can really be myself around, wondering if I'll be forever single because I cannot find an atheist boyfriend.

On the other hand I could continue to pretend that I am a Christian. Even go to church. Pray with friends and family. Say the empty "I will pray for you" whenever someone is ill or dying. Avoid conflict. Pretend to live a religious life. Pray at the dinner table.

I don't think I could go back to that empty life even if I wanted to. I am beginning to realize how permanent this is.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I just feel so let down and disappointed. And scared...

I feel like I am starting all over again in a new life with no real sense of direction.

(13-11-2012 02:09 AM)kpax Wrote: Since becoming an Atheist about 4 months ago, I've been pretty excited but I think some mourning is beginning to settle in....

I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm pretty happy with the road I chose to take. It feels overwhelming with the road ahead not really knowing where to go from here, anticipating how everyone is going to react once they find out, wondering how it feels to be free, wondering when I will make my first offline atheist friend who I can really be myself around, wondering if I'll be forever single because I cannot find an atheist boyfriend.

On the other hand I could continue to pretend that I am a Christian. Even go to church. Pray with friends and family. Say the empty "I will pray for you" whenever someone is ill or dying. Avoid conflict. Pretend to live a religious life. Pray at the dinner table.

I don't think I could go back to that empty life even if I wanted to. I am beginning to realize how permanent this is.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I just feel so let down and disappointed. And scared...

I feel like I am starting all over again in a new life with no real sense of direction.

You should move to Australia.

God botherers are the dumb minority here.

Go us! yay!

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.

(13-11-2012 02:09 AM)kpax Wrote: Since becoming an Atheist about 4 months ago, I've been pretty excited but I think some mourning is beginning to settle in....

I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm pretty happy with the road I chose to take. It feels overwhelming with the road ahead not really knowing where to go from here, anticipating how everyone is going to react once they find out, wondering how it feels to be free, wondering when I will make my first offline atheist friend who I can really be myself around, wondering if I'll be forever single because I cannot find an atheist boyfriend.

On the other hand I could continue to pretend that I am a Christian. Even go to church. Pray with friends and family. Say the empty "I will pray for you" whenever someone is ill or dying. Avoid conflict. Pretend to live a religious life. Pray at the dinner table.

I don't think I could go back to that empty life even if I wanted to. I am beginning to realize how permanent this is.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I just feel so let down and disappointed. And scared...

I feel like I am starting all over again in a new life with no real sense of direction.

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Thank you for the support guys. I will definitely read the Recovering From Religion section. I think I'm getting ready to out myself soon to friends and family. Will be needing this site more than ever!

(13-11-2012 02:09 AM)kpax Wrote: Since becoming an Atheist about 4 months ago, I've been pretty excited but I think some mourning is beginning to settle in....

I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm pretty happy with the road I chose to take. It feels overwhelming with the road ahead not really knowing where to go from here, anticipating how everyone is going to react once they find out, wondering how it feels to be free, wondering when I will make my first offline atheist friend who I can really be myself around, wondering if I'll be forever single because I cannot find an atheist boyfriend.

On the other hand I could continue to pretend that I am a Christian. Even go to church. Pray with friends and family. Say the empty "I will pray for you" whenever someone is ill or dying. Avoid conflict. Pretend to live a religious life. Pray at the dinner table.

I don't think I could go back to that empty life even if I wanted to. I am beginning to realize how permanent this is.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I just feel so let down and disappointed. And scared...

I feel like I am starting all over again in a new life with no real sense of direction.

You don't have to find an atheist boyfriend. I am an atheist and married a christian. I think she will eventually lose her faith for some reason, but I can't be sure and I did not marry her with a plan to change her mind. She knows I am an atheist, yet understands that I have morals not too different from hers. Hang in there and be open-minded when it comes to dating.