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How should I handle my relatives who disapprove of breastfeeding?

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My mom, sister, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law are all very unhappy with my decision to breastfeed my baby who is now 7 months old. Every time the subject comes up, they either make rude comments or give me dirty looks. My husband and I made the decision to breastfeed together, but I seem to take all the heat for it. How do I handle the criticism without fighting with anyone? I don't want to hurt my family's feelings but I feel this is the best choice for my baby.

Mom Answers

i agree with Di. your relatives probably don't like seeing you doing the best and most natural thing for your baby, when they took the road that was easiest for them, not what was best for their children. my son is 9 months old, and i plan to breastfeed until he is 18 months old. this is your choice, not theirs. they had their chance to mother the way they wanted to, now it is YOUR turn, and you are doing the best thing. i was just shy of 17 when i had my daughter, who is almost 14, and i nursed her for 8 weeks. i had to go back to my part-time job, and i couldn't afford a decent breast pump, so i thought i had to stop. i realize now that i didn't have to stop, my milk wouldn't have dried up from being in school and at work as long as i nursed her when i was at home. i wish i would have talked to her doctor about it before i just quit. 13 years later, and i feel sooo guilty. when your relatives make their snotty remarks, remind them that they are not pediatricians.

SHOCK HORROR! How ignorant are THEY?! You are definitely doing the best thing for your child. The facts are conclusive. If they want to give their kids allergies and weight probs later in life and dont like the intimacy and security that breastfeeding - the NORMAL way - fosters, then good for them! Well the way I handle the ignorance of my in laws is to send them an email with links to facts and say no more. Leave them with it. I did this with my mother in law about some things she repeatedly didn't respect my decisions about and I figured I had nothing to lose - i was constantly rebutting her in person when she offended me. Since then she has slowed right up on the annoying interfering statements. The World Health Organisation recommends b/feeding for at LEAST one year but advises there are health benefits up to the 4th year! Extended breastfeeding is the norm in most societies in the world.

tell them to back off. and if they make u that uncomfterable tell them if they dont like to dont come around because u dont need there negative resposes to the best thing u can do for your baby. when people are negative you thinknegative its proven so dont be around the negative. they need to understand that u dont need that and if they cnt be supportive then dont be anything.

*the answer* Whenever they are around and the baby is hungry just whip out your breast and feed your baby. Boast how you feel so attached to your baby since you are breastfeeding. If they make a rude comment snap back at them "you're just jealous you dont have what to takes to give the best to your baby!"

My mother was definitely no picnic to be around when I had my first child and chose to breastfeed. She would always ask if he was getting enough (because he nursed so much), yet she would want to give him a pacifier so that she could rock and cuddle. She went on and on about how much (or how little) I was able to pump and she pushed me needing to try baby food or put cereal in his bottle. Six years later and child number three, she tells me that she wished someone would have told her how wonderful breastfeeding was and how precious it is to be able to care and provide for your child in the most natural and basic way. She happily hands me my 4 month old and laughs "feed this baby!" and "look how fat!" I hope that eventually your family will come around, but if not, cherish the time you have while your baby is still little and be thankful that you are able to provide the best that God has equipped moms with!

I understand my in-laws felt the same way. I ended up nursing my 1st daughter until 19 months and my second for 30 months. I wouldnt change a thing. Hold your head up high knowing you are doing the best for your childern. Good for you!!!

If we weren't meant to breastfeed then why do woman lactate at all? I think it's absurd that they wouldn't support your decision. My sister caught flack for NOT breastfeeding. (She had a heart condition and needed to get back on a med that wasn't safe for the baby right after her son was born...and she still was criticized!) I think we should support women no matter what their choice is. Yes, breastfeeding is the best source of food, but I don't pretend to know the stress in others lives and wouldn't force something on them. Why can't mothers support each other more? I swear we are our worst critics.

I am breastfeeding a baby with colic. At first everyone was supportive of my breastfeeding, but as soon as she started with the colic, everyone turned against me it seemed. It was always the breastmilks fault that my baby was colicky. I even did that elimination diet for three weeks- which only starved me and did nothing for her gas. Even the pastors wife said I should just put her on soy milk. It is dishearting when breastfeeding is already hard enough for us, and other woman can not support us- especially the ones close to us. We just have to remember- this is what breasts are made for, well the main reason anyway. We are giving our babies the best of ourselves and they will be better, healthier children for it. I would never condemn a woman for formula feeding- its their decision. But when they start in on how I should switch to formula for my "poor suffering child" I just say ok, and smugly think to myself that I am a better mother. Which may not be the case, but I feel better.

I had a similar struggle with my husband's family when I had my son. I pulled research on breastfeeding and presented them with the facts. Also I think that they were just trying to make having a baby a little easier, becuase I know that giving a bottle would have been easier but it wasn't what was best for me and my child, I would explain and then ask that any further discussion about how your child eats is between you and your husband. Don't give up doing what is right for you and your child.

That is crazy! Who cares what they think. I tried to breast feed my daughter, but my milk never came in enough to satisfy her. I wish I could have and applaude you for doing it in the face of adversity. Don't give in...you are mom...you know best! :-)

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