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Couple's financial woes are private

Sentinel & Enterprise

Updated:
07/31/2016 06:32:50 AM EDT

DEAR ANNIE: My wife and I are in a pickle. We are friends with another couple, "Josh" and "Vanessa." Vanessa happens to be a teacher at our kids' school. One day, I was picking up my offspring and started chatting with her. I could tell she was sad and asked her about it. That's when the floodgates opened.

She started telling me how she's racked up credit card debt, and she said Josh doesn't know about it. Josh has been under a lot of stress, so she doesn't want to tell him. I consoled her and asked how much, thinking maybe a few hundred bucks.

Her: "17."

Me: "Thousand?"

Her: (slowly nods)

I lied and told her it's OK. I also told her she has to tell Josh. She agreed and said she's planning on doing it next month, after he's past a deadline at work. Then she asked whether my wife and I would lend her $500 for the time being so she could pay the minimum. I told her we'd talk it over.

So now we've got two questions. First, should we give her the money? Second, if need be, should we tell Josh at some point? If we were to tell him, Vanessa would hate us. But otherwise, Josh would hate us after eventually finding out. What would you do? -- Couple in a Conundrum

DEAR COUPLE: Sit this one out. Don't give Vanessa the money as that would only enable her to maintain her spending addiction.

Don't talk to Josh. Let Vanessa be the one to tell him. She'll have to do it soon anyway if you don't lend her the money for the credit card minimum.

I know you want to help, but resist.

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The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and it's got an express lane for people who get in the middle of their friends' relationship problems.

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