Often Irreverent, Mostly Rational Blog for Fans of the Toronto Blue Jays. One Day, We'll Be Perfect.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Amazing Sniderman

If you're only casually following the Jays this year, and you tune into a game and see Travis Snider's numbers pop up on the chyron, you might think that the Rosy-Cheeked Phenom was printing his back to the minor leagues.

And you, sir, would be a little weasel prat. Why you gotta be so negative? And what are you doing still paying attention to batting average? What are you - a Juan Pierre fan? Do you still use payphones? Are you going to send your witty repartee back to me via the teletype?

Sure, an extended slump, some desperate flailing at bad pitches and pulling his head off the ball resulted in Snider's average tumbling down to .125. But five good games in less than a week, and Young Travis has added 70 odd points to that number that we don't care about anyhow. Moreover, he's rocking a 1.450 OPS over the past five games, and we don't even give a flying fudgesicle how small a sample size that is.

Have you not seen the majestic opposite-field, extra-base hits our dreamboat has swatted about the yard last weekend and this week? Eight hits in his last five games, and seven of them are for extra bases. Five doubles! Two dingers! Awesome power! Good Job!

It's easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day drama of the game in the same way that the chicks in the typing pool enjoy immersing themselves in their soap operas every day in the lunch room. So maybe we shouldn't get all fainty and sweaty over the hunky rakishness of our fresh faced matinee idol. But when we see Travis Snider looking poised and confident at the plate, we start to get weak in the knees, just pondering the possibilities.

Those of us lucky enough to be watching his every at bat with strained attention - are going to be able to tell our great, great, great grandchildren (I've very bullish on health care breakthroughs) that we were there when Travis came off the snide and became "Sniderman - Defender of the Faith, Lord of the Rift" ( I also really liked Sean Connery in 'The Wind and the Lion' - don't ask.)

Please, please tell me that even the Manager ain't that frickin' obtuse - is he? I mean, he has been watching the games recently? Does he have something against winning? No more rhetorical questions - I'm out.

@Mylegacy: Haven't seen any comments of yours around lately. Methinks, I get what your saying: Here comes a Sniderman. Without a doubt, the Sniderman will blossom this year! Here comes the Sniderman ... in the spring of Snidey. BTW, Snidey is not going to become a monster, insomuch as a superhereo. N'fuff said.

i haven't "heard" a ball come off the bat like Sniderman since George Bell in BP when he was 19....am I dating myself?..When they hit it that hard never mind how fast it goes out of the yard, it SOUNDS different.