Theo Verelst Diary Page

Mon 9 july 2001, 11:30 PM

I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts
and events.

Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them
that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not
be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my
prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The
simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed
because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications.
Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as
such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies,
but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without
changing a iota or tittel...

And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong
that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure
I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement
on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect
the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a
thing. Lying, imagine that.

Mon 9 june 2001, 11:30 PM

A heavy page, I think, this is. First, a section on some essentials that
probably span a lot of life as far as I can discern, which is major fundamental
issue, I wrote the text not at this moment, I'll read it back later, maybe
it requires editing, then some more pleasurable stuff for capable programmers
and likers of good environment, maybe less for wanabees or bluffers in
the area, but who cares about them much in general...

Doctrines of demons

The term is from I think a letter of Peter, and it means what it
says, a doctrine is something to learn, a demon is a spiritual entity without
a body of its own that according to the bible is able to move around, to
be more or less possessing a human person, usually is pretty stupid, always
annoying and invariably bad news, no one ever is better of by having a
demon in whatever phase of possible influence.

In our age, it may well be that there are people weary of even thinking
about the subject, and possibly write it of as out of time and simply untrue,
but I think that unfortunately the subject cannot just not be put aside
in general, but also is important to understand the nature of certain delusions
and spiritually based lies, misconceptions and wrong thinking that undermine
normal, sane and sober thinking in more people than a few, and which bring
damnation that I don't like in my environment, except that I realize it
is an effective damnation for people that deserve at least that.

For those wanting good enough, it is important to realize that the bible
speaks about damnable or damning doctrines, and that they can have their
roots in the demonic. The bible speaks about is a phrase that I would generally
not use that much, but the subject makes it fitting to make clear that
I do believe it is a fitting phrase when it is used right, and I do think
I can claim the authority to do so more than a bit.

People with resistance against this type of subject should realize that
especially when they come from lets say spiritistic or such backgrounds,
there are demons too that probably they should be freed from in the name
of Jesus, who give then such responses in themselves. This is standard
doctine in this area, and it seems forgotten if not neglected at least
in certain circles, which maybe do not deserve better, and the oppression,
lies and misery that come from the damnation of that may be in place for
some, but there may be some that want away from such misery, and receive
mercy to do so, and they do need to be aware of these subjects, which are
definately important, and for certain places and portions of society essential.

Without question, the subject is ancient, and for instance the israelites
received the damnation or punishment from god to be taken exile in babylon,
probably to experience what happens when they have other gods before God,
and sacrifice and deal with demons and take people serious who are led
by them and ask them for guidance and protection, which was miserably for
them as it was with the babylonians. In the end the new babylon, taken
as the city on the seven hills that must be rome and of course its religion,
is prophesied about to end up as the dwelling place of deamons and foul
spirits, which is definately not a blessing.

What about the doctrines of demons?

Many people live according to certain rules, knowingly or unknowingly,
and of course I'm no exception, though I do not like the sort of rules
I observe a lot, and definately am not going to comply to them. I'm certain
that the subject is not mentioned without reason as relevant and as the
source of damnation, and that the Baal, the Moloch, and probably the mammom
have their demonic counterpart and lots of spiritual parties in the demonic
and human evil associated with them, which make their existence in the
thoughts and acts of people more instead of less prevalent.

The habit to sacrifice needs to be understood. It seems to me that the
idea of sacrifice primarily comes from the realisation, and maybe subconscious
conviction that man has a nature which is inclined to only evil, and that
a compensation is desirable both for errors and shortcomings, or 'sin',
and that this more especially holds towards to God.

When someone realizes that it is impossible to bring the right sacrifice
be in touch with God, and that Jesus did bring that sacrifice, without
being guilty himself, so he can ascribe His righteousness to whom He choses
and save such a person, the biggest miracle of all happens, which is not
even approached by any babylonic shit over all millenia of intelligent
human life.

And if not, or when such has taken place, it is important to realize
that the demonically inspired sacrifices and doctrines will bring nothing
else but damnation, ever.

What remains are the clear enough and sane rules and guidance like in
proverbs and ecclesiastes the old and new testament contain, when lucky
with the input from the Holy Spirit, new testament doctrine when applied
to the intended parties, and hopefully the mercy and grace from obedient
and good enough persons who are willing to freely give of what God can
give when He sees fit and wants.

The substitute sacrifice Jesus made was for once and for all, for the
whole world, unsurpassable and unapproachable, and there is no other acceptable
sacrifice God can or will accept, because there is no one who is good enough,
Christ was the only Son of God in that way who God had destined to come
to this earth for salvation of many, and who died in their place and rose
again as proof that God had not rejected Him.

Is Verelst loosing it again, on a retro reli trip because Swaggart once
again made him weak and inclined to sectism? Factually quite untannible
and ot at al logical. Swaggert quite some years ago wasn't the reason to
be saved ( I read a book about (from?) him when I already had a part of
life being serious in what I considered a bible school environment), that
was primarily the bible, I just was made aware of the relevance of obedience
to God and God the Holy Spirit, and that he seemed to consider some of
that of a hard to touch sort of fun that seemed of an untangible and rare
nature, and described life in ways that literature and persons around me
never even much alluded to or made me aware of let alone allow for to exist.

It is quite possble that 'life from nashville' was worse in terms of
direct effectiveness a few years later, I'm sure it made me aware of the
fact that there were people who were at least not completely away from
a real type of person in themselves who could make a show work which has
a message or essence in it which doesn't require the continuous cracking
and compensating for lies, hypocracy, metaphores, cynisims, blown up egos
which don't deserve much space, voidness, acting and such lets say common
effects of sin. and of course the main message had to do with the gospel
of Jesus Christ, which without question makes and essential difference.

The music and lets call it show themselves however made me aware at
least of something that wasn't so tainted by what I without realizing ws
surrounded by and probably quite actively maybe attacked maybe harrased
maybe jsut betrayed and certainly brought down with if that would have
been possible or permitted by me. The music is a combination of hymns,
maybe some gospel-ish component, and mild but not uneffective rock, of
a definate top pianist and singer, with (backing) band, recorded live.

Now what makes that so much different from so much else? That it is
about essentials without to much polution from corruptness, miserable ways
of life, and about undistorted person subjects, straightness, or simply
about the power of the Holy Spirit accompanying the preaching of the gospel?
The latter is not sufficient explanation, there was music there which seemed
to touch me in a way I found somehow good. Clear enough, I had interest
in the lets call it rock piano licks and especially the way they were applied,
and mayne that says something about what I found important. A comparison
matter is could have been, too, as in that I didn't have many attractive
young enough women around me at the time, and certainly not one who I thought
I could share some life with, so it would make sense to say that there
is a risk to jump on the first that comes along, as in such kind of comparison.

Be it as it may, that wasn't what happened, it wasn't logical to think
that way ( I spent years at school where such was quite different, factually
and physically), and musically, I still take such music as important and
of a nature which is quite apart from most other things.

The same logic could still hold, meaning that there simply isn't much
right in much music of fundamental emotions and thoughts expressed by it,
which to some extend may be true.

The question arises why that may be so and what the reasons for much
damnation, lack of life, freedom and from christian point of view holyness
and true gladnes or rest or at least of a lack of normal enough personhood
and acceptable and attractive ways of life may be.

At least one of them can be the doctrines of demons, and the babylonic
type of system and worship of evil, sin, demons, the satan (anyone seen
that miserable good for nothing brainless gutless evil thing around lately,
huh ?), antichrists, deceitfull apostles (who aren't such), false and wannabe
teachers, the pope and equivalent liars and cheats, families that don't
deserve the right even to live in the first place for their crimes, and
what more there is.

And a major reason for people to buy many delusions may well lie in
the sticking with demonicly inspired doctrines about religious and other
areas in life.

A faith or trust in such is never going to be satisfactory, that is
my firm conviction. And thus one may want more of the same because that
is needed to realy make it work, goes of into (more) bitterness, is convinced
that badness it the only fitting response to life, becomes rebelious against
god, envious of people who seem to have better fruits with their doctrines
rejected because the rules don't make others feel very well, or the whole
world or parts of it simply are hell together because no apostle or shower
of mercy or anything in between is sent to them who give Gods mercy to
stop the damnation that unnoticed prepares and builds babylon without most
ever realizing much of it, maybe even thinking what they do and think is
christian.

A the former wannabe ruler of this world somehow by betrayal or adultery
against God got a place to mess the fundaments of the human world up quite
bad, and no reasonable person needs much information to know how evil,
painfull, and miserable babylons systems is.

When there is no comparison, all that are led astray may not even realize
at any point that what they are listening to and maybe happily sacrificing
theior lives to in the end has prepared them to themselves enter the hell
they've built, and reap the fruits of demonic oppression, human depravity,
hopelessness for anything truly good or even uncorrupted, and, in line
with babylonic thinking, laughingly or actingly happily do so. Which is
not just vanity it is absolutely good for nothing. Except that it may a
severe punishment coming from God for sins that have been and are committed.

And the demons won't complain, they'll be there by the multitude to
assure you of anything you want when you're willing to lie and listen to
them enough, they cannot be though to be in any way at all considerate
or honest. Realy, trusting demons pays in no way at all except when casting
them out to make them mention their name and get rid of them and their
compulsive, oppressive presence.

A main point to notice is that the subject is relevant because discernment
is needed to know wether people or oneself is listening to the (real) Holy
Spirit, or some angel of light, generally liarish demon, medium, antichrist,
dead person impersonator, authority of schizofrenia (probably not mentioned
as principle of dividing and conquering of persons in the beginning of
james for nothing), guidance spirit, spirit of divination, false prophet,
perverse or otherwise faul or judas spirit.

When it is spirit we're spiritual is not good doctrine. The fact that
there is no person on the other side of the spiritual line does not mean
the other party is divine, realy, certainly not. Check it out and don't
make the mistake, it damns people quite much when that mistake is made.
So if you aren't saved by being known by Jesus, there is no way to connect
up with a divine spiritual party, except maybe there are reliable christians
to pray with, that's it. Realy, don't err here if you want to be spared
major trouble in yourself.

What about that synagoge of the satan mentioned once or twice in the
bible, and what about the natural state of the world? Evil. Without the
real Gods' mercy there is evil and destructiveness and misery and evil
will, oppression, slavery, exploitation, dishonour, and death.

So when people try to convince others that what they are secretly introducing
you into is realy great and ancient, and that the human and other sacrifices
you yourself must make and make others undergo are realy something quite
well known and deeply rooted and verifyable inthe spiritual they aren't
lying completely, except that the maker of such plans has been the manslayer
and lyar from the beginning, with countless demons to oppress and make
miserable in many varying ways, seemingly teaching you about important
spiritual truths, and that indeed such a system as in satanism and babylon,
which are not so unalike, born human beings have lived in very bad delusion
and evil already since long, and never ever has any of them achieved anything
worthwhile with it, and their names and graves are forgotten, their works
ridiculed if not proven unworthy of any attention or honour, their power
proven unsufficent to solve even the first problem for real, let alone
bring happiness, riches, or something worth while, and certainly not overcome
death as Christ did.

It's only about power and maybe possesion, which mean nothing much when
they are not somehow advantageous, and power starting with betrayal and
evil can never become worth it or bring something good. Because the architect
of the world that was defeated by Christ has this built in deficit which
makes it crave for a sort of lie of being called a bit powerfull and like
god, and man in degenerates state falls for a accompanying state of mind
all too easily, which can be at least understood and deminished by an amount
of sanity.

The sacrifices which demons inspire and are known for to sort of call
for are senseless. They bring nothing. Bushman seem to still not have gotten
the point much of that, or are simply not receiving mercy to get rid of
the oppresive power that has so much place in some, and I don't see many
tourist visit the canibals and join their tribal fights for fun or because
they think they'll make heaven on earth come about by engaging in such
rituals.

Bule Bule..

Selling your soul or a pact with the devil (where is that thing lately?)
is another clearly untrue doctrine to begin with. Impossible. But I'm sure
there are demons in abundance to inform people of lies about buying their
salvation of the catholics, christ being made to weep and subdue to the
in the end incredible power of some child abusers and Him not being able
to save anymore, having given up, the rothshields being simply to powerfull
for true christians ever to defeat without being forced to betray their
trust amoung themselves like good little babylonian citicens and more of
such non sense.

How many voices would have informed Copernicus' contraries that the
acclaimed real representative of christ is indeed infallible and that Columbus
was sailing towards his own death by falling of the unknown edge of the
flat world ?

How many believe that without the last sacrifice of some priest a dying
person will not go to catolic heaven, whatever that is, and live in fear
of such things all their lives ? 'Bless you my son'. Fuck you. I an not
your son, you don't have the power to bless me, and in fact are quite more
damning than most people ever realize, and in case it is relevant, I will
NOT do as YOU tell me. YOU bring the sacrifice your demons and oppressors
tell you to let me bring and save me when you're finshed, otherwise shove
your religion where it itches the most in yourself.

Lets see what babylon was about again, being drawn in a mistery by greed,
lust or curiosity, or some demon, every time again being more corrupted
and taking part in more and more incrimination and guilt and evil to enter
the next phase which works similar, in the end having no choice as it seems
to betray everything and oneself dying laughingly as the ultimate sacrifice
to .. what?

There is sort of cynical tone in there that which isn't intentional,
though it is of use to somehow get the essence across, it never works,
the freemason circle, the next sacrifice, the next killing or betrayal,
the highest power, the deepest secret, the best having game, in the end
there is no solution, there is nothing but destruction and misery, condemnation,
ultimate fullfilling of ones' measure of sin, guilt, and ultimately death,
which is certain and normal for every human being.

If this were apostolic letter writing this would be about the time to
write but thank God for having sent his Son to deliver us. Which is true
and appropriate, but this is bit more general diary page, so I guess I'll
be a bit clearer about what I mean in essence about the whole subject,
which definately includes that statement, but it may well be there are
quite some people who even write and say the same, maybe not more eloquently,
but more drawn out and maybe seemingly heart meant, who are in fact taking
part in the same system and even promoting it.

Being part of surroundings where such is so may be unevitable or for
a reason, but it should be clear that I realy mean it that the main point
of the jews killing the philistines out of the promised land and the christians
living holy lives in accordance with their high priced salvation is that
God is about the opposite of the babylon system, and his laws dictate that
we get away from it instead of trying how far His mercy can be stretched,
His spirit made jeleous, His riches and kindness can be exploited for evil
gains, His mysteries sold, His sent ones abused, his honour ascribed to
others, his gospel perverted, his laws broken, his grace stolen if possible
or debased.

No man or demon wins such games of God. God giving people over to a
strong delusion so they believe a lie is what He does accordong to the
bible to some because the want to follow deceitfull apostles and all kinds
of evil. and the ones that have exchanged the truth for a lie are in a
damnation that mustn't be taken for a rule but as punishment, maybe warning,
or at least a limitation of evil God has given. His law ? Faith (trust).
His salvation as a free gift. Mercy. Grace.

Cygnus

Those cygnus guys...

I guess they are of the kind who make things many do not even understand
which go back and add to absolute expertise in the core of professional
and powerfull operating systems, sort of gurus without the need to profile
themselves as such, because they aren't wizards but simply know their stuff.
Ha. Definately fun to see what they can come up with, as I have been aware
of their cygwin environment to have a unix-like development environment
unser microsoft windows, which behaves as a unix text window for program
development with the powefull gnu C (++) compiler.

Lately, I've tried a version which also has a working graphical debugger
based on a customized tcl/tk interface with gdb (graphical debugger), which
offers a fully graphical interface to debug, single step, add breakpoints
to pentium programs, offering both and mixed C source and assembly level
interface,
up to the point of showing all registers and interacting graphically.
Cool.

The latest thing is quite something, too, for serious developers, and
I gues a feat enough, which is a windows program which emulates X windows
in itself, both the X server, and various clients, including of course
xterminal windows. Below is a example with nothing that special running,
but this stuff does work, including the profi (linus has them, too) and
even pleasantly standard included Xwindows interactions. Mind you this
whole thing is just a normal enough windows program, which runs together
with other windows programs.

I've had two dumps already in a short time, meaning the whole program
just died, which of course is far from perfect, but looking at the amount
of files and utilities that are ported, this is a major project, which
also makes it possibe to have xwindows of a linux machine visible over
a network (it should, that is), and I guess to have a window of a windows
machine with the X server visible on a Linux or unix machine. I can't try,
but I have worked with X for years, and know it is hard to beat in power
(and versions, and source code size (though that is not an unknown problem
to windows programs, too), and number of libraries, and all that). I had
transatlantic tv channels on a remote X window effectively running on a
workstation before mosaic was netscape.

And all this stuff is I think even with sources available, though I
didn't check yet, which coudl be a major learning possibility, though I'm
sure the emulator application is a bit steep a starting point.

Live sounds

If I have the opportunity, I'll throw in a program with my string simulator
and maybe the sound sample / mixing program with a (slow) real time sound
output for windows. I found a sound library which compiles under cygwin
which at least seems to drive the normal windows sound channels with 400
mS delay wiht some example sounds, which is worth making a downloadable
program with to show some of the synthesis techniques I have to offer,
and is good programming example, too. I'm thinking about UI stuff, a socket
link with tcl/tk would be good for development, and it is possible to make
a run only tcl/tk program into one executable, so I might make a
self installing archive with that, the program as a server (or client)
and the cygnus lib as a try out package.

At least it is good to have a working audio interface routine, it supports
also 44.1 kHz CD quality, and can be compiled on it seems most environments
(mac, windows, linux), as it seems witout too much effort, for me at least.There
is a directX library variation possible, too, which failed in my case because
it seems the sys doesn't have a right version, and I don't think I'm going
to tamper with that, which is a pity, because the delay could be a lot
lower, but since I don't even am near using midi, it should be that bad,
I'll see if I can set the standard latency of the windows interface to
the 100 or lower milli second range, which should be fine enough. Now how
do I draw and interactive string with some parameters in a windows graphics
program efficiently?

From tcl sources to executable

After checking a few times, I decided that tcl 8.4 is supported on cygwin,
and I started getting the sources, configuring, and making, as lets say
a bold enough move.. After a few hours and bypassing a few to me unknown
__try statements (which only remind me of a Java exception catching mechanism),
I now have a as it seems functional tclsh84.exe, with no core dumps yet,
even after trying file access a few text sockets.

That is not bad, these sources are serious, I've made good use of the
Xterm scrolling and the bash facilities, and let the few dozens source
files the time to pass through the gnu compiler (only C sources), and got
the definately profi result without to much time, though these sources
are not simple, tcl is quite extensive, and contains a lot of functions,
and makes use of just about every normal C facility.

The cygnus compiler also without errors seems to have produced tcl .DLL
files, and as I said, the resulting program runs, the interpreter takes
commands like the precompiled one does.

As can be guessed I set of to the probably more directly relevant Tk,
the user interface program, which is built on top of tcl. If that works,
too, basically all user interface components are available in source form,
albeit in of course quite some code, but in professional, and I'd say in
fact very reliable form, assuming the compiler doesn't spoil the fun...