Heart to Heart: When someone oversteps their boundaries, set your own

Citizen Contributor

3:00 AM, Jan 11, 2013

Dear Laurie,

I have a friend who doesn't know her boundaries. She seems to always push her own agenda. If she asks me a question and I answer it, she doesn't respect my answer. She keeps asking more and more leading questions. She also says things that are not her business. It gets very exhausting. How do I deal with her?

Nancy

Dear Nancy,

Thank you for emailing me your question. I can see how that would be draining on you. I suggest you practice creating your own boundaries. If your friend does not accept your response, don't give her another one. Tell her this is your response and to please respect it. And, respecting it means to accept it without asking more questions.

If your friend is overstepping her boundaries in any other way, let her know. If she asks you a question and you don't want to discuss it with her, tell her you would feel more comfortable discussing another topic or that's not up for discussion or change the subject. Do not allow her to draw you into her energy.

If she makes comments to you that you don't like, tell her, "I don't feel comfortable with those comments." And if she continues to make you feel like something is wrong with you for not responding to her then you may want to have a heart to heart conversation with her. You can be honest and express that you would appreciate it if she would respect your boundaries. And you don't appreciate her manipulation.

It's interestinghow sometimes we point the finger at someone else and many times it is us learning a lesson. And this may be a lesson for you to use your voice by speaking up in a loving, authentic and respectful way for yourself. After you do speak up for yourself the energy may change. And if it doesn't, you can choose to move yourself in a new direction, to be around people who honor you. This is self-love. This is you showing unconditional love toward yourself by navigating yourself toward more loving and respectful friends. And this is you showing respect and kindness toward yourself.

You deserve to feel good! May you be authentic and kind in all ways! Namaste!

- - -

Laurie Martin, for the past 10 years, has been a dedicated and passionate teacher of self-love and personal empowerment. She offers her wisdom and tools as a speaker, certified life coach, yoga teacher, columnist and author of "Smile Across Your Heart: The Process of Building Self-Love" and the new e-book, "The Conscious Breakup Guide." Her indomitable courage pushed her to transition from her corporate job as a vice president to follow her heart. To receive inspiration, sign up for her free newsletter atwww.SmileAcrossYourHeart.com or send an email to LaurieM@SmileAcrossYourHeart.com.