Connection to Unconditional Love & Respect

Mark [0:00] Rachel, thank you for being a guest on the Heart of Connection podcast. I’m your host Mark Randall and it’s lovely to have this opportunity to speak to you about the process and your experiences at heart of connection. Just by way of introduction, could you give a brief introduction to yourself, please?

Connection & Love of Role at Work

Rachael [0:17] Yeah, sure. My name is Rachel. I’m 39 years old and I currently I am living in Bacchus Marsh which I absolutely love. I work for Cadburys chocolate so that can make anyone happy really? I very much do enjoy my role in my job at the moment, so that’s me.

Mark [0:41] Living in Bacchus March is that a connection to the country?

Lovingly connected

Rachael [0:48] Well yes. My partner lives here and I’ve moved out here with him. As you would know, I lived in Williamstown most of my life and loved the sea. I love the ocean. Moving out here, it’s completely different, it’s quiet, it’s lovely and it’s beautiful. A much more connected to nature than I felt the ocean could provide for me. So I’m really loving it out here.

Mark [1:18] How do you work at connecting to yourself? What’s your process to check in where Rachael’s at, making sure that you know her well-being is okay? How and what does Rachael do?

Connecting to myself with various techniques

Rachael [1:33] I use various techniques. I do like to dabble with crystals. I feel crystals are something that I’ve been able to connect with very well. In my time, I sort of learned and studied crystals a few years ago, and I just taught myself. So I would just investigate certain crystals, find out what energies they could provide, and whatever I resonated with. So essentially, when you’re choosing crystal you, it could be the color, it could be the feel, it could be any of those elements that connect you to that.

Connecting to Crystals

So I did use a lot of crystals and do a little bit of crystal work. So, if you come home from work, having a bad day, or I also use to play with angel cards. So of a morning, I might draw an angel card and ask the question, where you know, where could my day go today? They were my positive – if an angel card may have had a positive affirmation, I’d use that throughout the day. I use to carry crystals with me throughout the day. While I’m at work, obviously, those things aren’t always at hand with me. So, I always just asked the question, because essentially, it’s going to be a feeling before thought on how you’re actually feeling.

Connecting to Angel Cards

So if you’re feeling funny, or you’re feeling a bit anxious, and you’re not sure why it’s just sort of going through the tensing up the muscles and relaxing them to help sort of figure out where is my attention in my body right now. Then essentially, with you having done those exercises, I found that the answer comes pretty quickly. It could be, I haven’t had a break for three hours, or I could actually be hungry. It could be something that someone may have said to me, a few hours ago that has quietly bothered me. So I very much do sit and ask myself the question, what is it that I’m feeling right now? Where am I holding that in my body?

Mark [3:00] That enables you to connect to yourself?

Rachael [3:02] Yeah, absolutely.

Mark [3:37] Sometimes when we’re connecting to ourselves, we’re connecting ourselves to an unpleasant or a painful feeling. What do you do? How do you process that sort of emotion and feeling?

Connecting to my emotional release & no judgment

Rachael [3:53] I’m a big believer in not holding anything in. So I feel if you want to cry-cry. If you want to laugh-laugh, because of those sort of emotions if you suppress them, they’re only going to get bigger. I just feel you need to allow yourself the space to feel those feelings. Regardless, there’s no judgment even on your own, there shouldn’t be judging yourself on how you’re feeling, just let the feeling be and accept the feeling for what it is.

I found by doing that, you’re getting over it very quickly. Then you are building tools for yourself at the same time on – if that emotion comes up for you again, you’re going to be better equipped on how to deal with it better in the future,

Connecting to my emotions

Mark [4:38] Do ever ask that emotion, what it might need?

Rachael [4:43] All the time because I think you have to – if you continue, like I know, for myself, on my experience the same emotion a couple of times a month. The emotion will feel the same, it will appear the same, but some elements of it will be different. So you sort of ask yourself and go through that process to then and then you start getting down to the real issue it could be. I think that takes time.

Connecting to me via journalling

I must say as well, what I do a lot of which I find is brilliant for me to work through what I’m feeling and that’s – I journal, so I write a lot. Sometimes things can’t be verbalized, or you could be on your own and you don’t know how to express it. I find writing to be something that you will start to write thinking how you’re feeling and then all of a sudden, the pens writing itself. It’s writing your story all on your own without really, it’s your input, but you’re doing it without thinking about it. Before you know it, you’ve uncovered really your real deep-rooted issue.

Mark [5:48] It’s unabated, isn’t it? When you’re writing, when your journal writing, there are no rules, it’s just a free for all. Nobody’s ever gonna read this. This is your safe space, to just let it all out.

Rachael [6:00] Absolutely. I’ve never really read back my journaling. I’ve just used journaling as another element or another way of getting things out. I think it’s it’s pretty powerful writing. It’s very different than obviously talking. It just sort of gets, you can get really, really personal and it doesn’t matter.

Connecting to self in the written flow of journaling

Mark [6:24] When you allow the pen to write, is that your subconscious just writing without any intellectual dialogue going on?

Rachael [6:33] Yeah, pretty much. Yep. Obviously, you’re starting off with how you think you’re feeling. Then all of a sudden the story is going to a whole different way, a whole different area that you didn’t think you were actually initially writing about.

Mark [6:49] Does the story go down to the heart?

Rachael [6:52] Absolutely. Every time.

Mark [6:54] Every time.

Connection of my heart story

Rachael [6:56] Every time, because that’s where it all comes from right? Like our head is our head, our heart is our heart. They’re two separate things. Your heart is what you think it wants to guide you the most. Your head is always going to be the one that either stops you. Whether that’s fear-based or the mind will always remember something that will either stop you from performing a particular anything. The head can always interfere with what the heart truly wants. So that’s where I feel in writing, there’s no you can allow the mind to not interfere as much and just let it flow.

Mark [7:38] When it’s flowing, are you experiencing the inner wisdom from your heart coming through in the journal?

Connecting to my heart’s purity

Rachael [7:47] Yeah, well, yeah, always. I think your heart pure or it’s pure, it’s got a purity to it. So, obviously, with purity, there’s wisdom. So whatever learnings you’ve had throughout your life that’s also going to show up. So absolutely, I think there’s a lot of wisdom coming through when you’re doing your personal writing.

Mark [8:16] Can you describe what happens – what you experience when you connect to that inner purity of your heart?

Connecting to my joy

Rachael [8:25] All look, I think it for me, its joy. Like, you know, when you know that you’re, when you know, you’ve got a really nice connection to your own heart. I think there’s a lot of joy connected to that you sort of feel it self-acceptance, really, it’s just sort of that’s the feeling I get anyway. When you’re very pure to yourself, it’s just it’s a really lovely feeling. It’s sort of you feel a bit like a feather, you know, you know where you’re going. And yeah, it’s a beautiful feeling. The best way I can explain and these are just a lot of joy.

Mark [9:04] Is there a freedom in it?

Rachael [9:10] What do you mean by that – the freedom it?

Mark [9:12] Freedom from the mind?

Rachael [9:15] Well, yeah absolutely.

Connection to my self-acceptance

Mark [9:18 ] Self-acceptance. Is there a sense of self-love? A deeper – sounds like its pretty deep connection to yourself?

Rachael [9:27] Yeah, absolutely. I think well all of that comes from when you’ve got to really love and got a nice connection to yourself – when you fully accept who you are. You love who you are, you go through your day. You start your day off with joy, or with love or being really open to the world. That’s sort of the fun side, the pure side and the accepting side of yourself when you go through that.

I’m trying to figure out ways to explain this. I know how it feels to me. I might wake up in the morning, and I set myself some intentions for the day. How would I like to see my day be today? , and it all comes down to that? Will I deserve to have this today, or I deserve to feel like this today. It’s all giving yourself the okay, to feel whatever comes up throughout the day, and not labeling it. Starting off your day, right – I’m open to love, I’m open to any positive things that come our way today. The majority of the time, that’s the day you’re going to have.

Connection to an open heart

Mark [10:44] It sounds like, what am I hearing there – it sounds like you’re really open-hearted with that intention?

Rachael [10:50] Yeah, absolutely. I feel being open and not everything goes the way you plan, I suppose. Sometimes having no plans is really good. So, just being really open to whatever the day might bring. I mean, not every day is perfect, or every day is okay as something may come up. It’s more about knowing, and having that control over yourself. As at the end of the day, that’s all we’ve got control over is how we react, how we associate or how we interact with people or things and so on.

So when you’ve got that connection with yourself, you know how you’re going to react throughout your day, or how you’re going to be, or how you want to hold yourself. So that’s where I feel that you start your day off in that really lovely – in that love way where you exuding love for yourself because that’s where it starts. Loving who I am today, I’m loving what I’m achieving in my life, and so on. That will just grow and that magnifies. People see that and people will see that in and you don’t have to say many words. Do people see that aura about you?

People see our connection in our auras

Mark [11:00] When they see that aura about you, does that then facilitate a connection to others?

Rachael [11:05] Yeah, absolutely. I think it does, absolutely. I think it’s like a lot of people that sense that from you, in sensing that aura. I’ve done it before, I’ve met many people in my life where I sort of look at someone and go, “wow,” I really wish I had that trait that person has. That person is just really lovely to be around, or they just exuding so much energy, how do they do it? I mean, I’m sure there are many people that we’ve all engaged that you just meet and sort of think to yourself, wow, I really love that person’s attitude or behavior or their sense of self or what have you.

So I think when you get down to yourself and be who you truly want to be, and you’re not being anyone else, but yourself. People see that because it’s pure, it’s natural, it’s who you are. You’re so accepting of you who you are, the only choice others have is to do the same. They sense that they see that and they then really start to love that about you. You’ll start to see that people will be just more and more accepting of you. More accepting of you than you are yourself sometimes. (Laughter)

Learning to Silence the Inner Critic

Mark [13:14] That can be the case. We always seem to have a harsh inner critic, insider yourself that loves to give us a little bit of a hard time when it likes to. In the connection to others, how does that then when you’re radiating? How do you experience the connection to others? Is it like a vibration? Is there – obviously we have an intellectual connection, but it’s that deep energetic, that emotional connection? How does that resonate with you?

Rachael [13:54] Well, I think I notice I mean I am quite like – I approach people how I like to be approached or you know, there’s always that respect for others. I just find myself and who I am and how I am that throughout my day, even in my job. I know very much I enjoy my job entails that a lot of people come to me throughout my day. So, the first initial thing that I do with people has greeted them with excitement and a smile and how are you today? Let’s not talk about work right now. How are you?

Listening to What People have to Say

So you’re sort of with everyone you meet, care about who you’re meeting. Listen to what people have to say. They’re the sort of the interactions and connections that I like to give to people, is to let them know, well – I’ve got your full attention and I’m going to listen to anything you have to say because you’re coming to see me. That’s what we for me anyway. I’ve noticed that and that could be anything on not just work. That could be anything throughout your day. Meeting people at the service station, at the checkout. I’ve noticed every time if I’m greeting them with a smile, and how’s your day today? Majority of the time people will just open up and go wow – no one’s asked me how I am today.

What you give out is what you receive

Mark [15:22] So it’s taking an interest in and attention to what they’re about?

Rachael [15:27] Yeah, absolutely. I think you taking the focus off yourself. You’re showing people that – I’m a big believer in what you give, is what you get back. So what you give to people is exactly what you’re going to get back and it’s going to come back tenfold. So you greet people that way when you need to be greeted that’s exactly how you’ll be greeted.

Mark [15:49] What do you notice when there’s a disconnection? What do you experience when that happens?

Connecting to my Disconnection

Rachael [15:55] I very much use sometimes a technique where you are sort of holding a mirror. So, if someone’s in and you’re not having a connection with them. They might have a really difficult personality. So again, they could be – you’re not sure – they could be going through something. It’s not personal to you. A technique I use it as I envision – I visualize it on holding a mirror in front of me. Sort of forcing the person to take a look at themselves. I don’t react, again, I still use the same technique of I’m listening, I’m hearing what you’re saying. I offer the best, whether it’s advice or conversation or whatever is happening in that connection with that person.

Using the Mirror Technique

I sort of – by using the mirror technique, eventually that person, if you’re not reacting to someone, because sometimes, unfortunately, there are people out there that want a reaction. So, if you’re not reacting to certain personalities, then they soon stop. They soon realize, they soon step back and realize that they’re not helping themselves with the connection, or they’re not helping themselves with any interaction they’re having with you and not just you but with others. A lot of the times people will notice that their reaction is the same as everybody. Or their interaction with everyone exactly the same.

Mark [17:21] Are you mindful of your reactions internally when there’s a disconnect, and then you just choose to respond rather than react?

Connecting to a level of respect

Rachael [17:29] Yeah, exactly. Again though, there’s still a level of respect there. So whether you feeling a connection or not, I still think that there’s still needs to be a level of respect. This is with anyone you’re interacting, and for me, I accept and move on and accept, okay, I don’t have a connection with this person and that’s okay. If it’s people you’re working with, it just looking at different ways to communicate with that person because you have to.

Mark [18:00] Yeah, you do have too sometimes. (Laughter).

Rachael [18:06] You just have to find a way to get around it.

Mark [18:12] Connecting in other in ways. Notice that people do have different ways of connecting?

Accepting not everyone loves everyone

Rachael [18:19] Yeah, not everyone loves everyone. You can’t love everybody. Not everyone’s going to love you. I think, accepting that as well, we’re all just humans on this earth, hoping to have connections with most people we meet. There are times that you’re not going to have a connection with someone. There could be many reasons why it could be that person withdrawing or not that way inclined, and that’s completely okay. As long as there’s still respect there, I think you can still have some form of connection, it might not be the connection you would like, but it’ll be some sort of connection.

Mark [19:00] It’s interesting when you talk, you’ve said that a couple of times – that you talk about respect. When I’m hearing you say that – I’m hearing an unconditional love sitting underneath that respect for that person irrespective of whether they’re connecting or disconnecting. There is an underlying, just unconditional regard for them.

My connection to respect

Rachael [19:28] Yeah, absolutely. At the end of the day, I feel that you never if it’s your first interaction with someone, or whether it’s someone you’ve known for years, you never really, really know what someone going through. So I’ve learned that, for whatever reason, a connection I’m not having – is it’s not personal. It’s not me, it’s got nothing to do with me or what I’m doing. I’m respectful and I’m treating that person well.

I’m not mean to them or anything like that. So it could just be at they’re a conscious level where they’re at right now that they’re just going through a different set of circumstances that you just don’t know about. That’s completely fine. It’s just accepting that you don’t need to know it. It’s just about understanding sort of say to yourself, to me, what helps me is sort of say to myself – that person’s not having a good day and that’s okay. He or she is allowed to have that.

Letting it go

Mark [20:31] By doing that, then does that facilitate a process of letting go?

Rachael [20:37] Yeah, absolutely like it – I think it’s easier to let go then. When you detach it from being about you, and it being a new feeling, it’s not personal – it’s an instant let go situation.

Mark [20:51] How much energy does that save?

Letting it go saves energy

Rachael [20:54] How much energy – you could light up 10 houses with that much energy? (Laughter) With that instant of aarrh – that’s okay, I’ll let that slide.

Mark [21:07] When you save that energy, what do you notice happens inside your body, inside your being?

Rachael [21:15] I think, well, for me, I feel proud because I’ve been able to instantly have something that might affect most, not affect me. So for me, I feel really proud of myself initially, that’s the feeling I get. Then my day isn’t affected, it doesn’t need to be affected. I can, move along and get on these other thoughts I’m having or focus on affirmations or whatever I’m doing at the time.

Connection to improved well-being

Mark [21:45] When there’s more of that energy there, what do you notice it does for your well-being?

Rachael [21:51] Of course, you sleep better, you make better choices, you make better decisions, you’re more energetic, you’re more electric, more energetic. You don’t feel so weighed down. When you’re not carrying someone else’s stuff or someone else’s burdens, you’re more like a feather, you’re weightless almost. To focus on yourself and not carry around whatever is going on for someone else, or however, you feel.

Okay, that person didn’t like me today, why? Why didn’t they like me? Why didn’t they talk to me? Why didn’t they interact with me? All those thoughts are – it’s quite tiring like you get tired, you get tired quickly. You’ll make the wrong choices, you’ll be grumpy for the rest of the day, you’ll have a bad sleep because it’ll still be on your mind. So that’s how the brain is brilliant in that sense, is once you attach to something like that, the mind can just go off and make the whole story about it.

Mark [23:02] How do you recognize that story?

Connection to felt senses in my body

Rachael [23:05] Oh, it’s quite easy, I think. You start to feel it. You start to feel hot, you start to feel a little bit anxious, and you’re rushing around and you don’t know why. So if the mind is mind’s racing, then you’ll be racing it. It’s almost like you’re in a marathon. So it’s pretty easy to recognize when your mind is in that state or stuck in that way because you’ll feel it instantly in your body. You’ll feel it as a bit of an anxious feeling. You just want to feel calm, you just want to feel at ease. So its a very easy feeling to feel.

Mark [23:42] So you can’t be as light as that feather you’ve talked about a couple of times?

Notice it in my Shoulders

Rachael [23:46] Yeah, exactly right, you’ll be tense. You’ll be able to feel it in your body. For me, the first place in my body is my shoulders. If I’m carrying something that’s not mine, is on my shoulders. So that’s – and of course, is another thing that, I’ve done many times before, which is brilliant. Is kinesiology. So kinesiology obviously is looking for blockages in the body. We all have that and blockages in the body could be from experiences we’ve had throughout our whole life.

So you could have gone through a trauma or a bad breakup or what have you. There could be a blockage, in your arm or your leg or there’s every part of our body is connected to something and it obviously all leads to the heart.

So if there’s a blockage there, then that means that not enough air and blood is getting to that area that needs that attention. So as I saying with my shoulders, is that you will feel that. So that’s like a blockage. You’ll start to recognize when you start getting into feeling those tense feelings in your body as to – every time I feel that feeling – every time I feel that soreness in my shoulder, that means I’m carrying someone else’s stuff.

Mark [24:50] When you….

Rachael [24:55] Or if…..

Mark [24:59] Yeah go on.

Noticing the holding points in my body

Rachael [25:13] I was just gonna say, you could feel another feeling in your knee. It could be as simple as well, you could be experiencing something that every time you get soreness in your knee, the same thing could be happening. It might be a different scenario of something and then you’ll be able to recognize, okay, every time my knees sore – it’s taking me back to this that happened yesterday. So you’ll start to recognize the feelings pretty quickly, once you start getting in touch, though, to how your body’s feeling.

Mark [25:47] It sounds like we need to be embodied to feel that feeling?

Rachael [25:53] Yes, you do. You do.

Light as a feather freedom

Mark [25:56] When you’re as light as a feather, where does your energy go? Is that space for you to connect to the “All That Is” – the deeper universe when you’re as light as a feather?

Rachael [26:12] I mean, it’s when I refer to being light as a feather is it’s just it’s being open, it’s being receptive. So when you’re like that, when you’ve got an open mind and open heart, and your intentions are pure, then the universe will always respond to that. If you always talk about, I have a lack of this, I have a lack of that – so what the universe will do is say, okay, you’re talking about a lack of this and a lack of that, so I’m just going to give you more a lack of.

Mark [26:49] How do you connect to the universe to create an abundance, rather than a lack of?

My connection to gratitude

Rachael [26:56] Well it’s more – it’s being grateful. It’s being grateful for what you do have. So whatever you’re grateful for and it can be as simple as anything, from the clothes on your back to the roof over your head. So the more grateful, it could be the person you’ve met, anything. The more grateful you are, for the things that you do have, the more of that that you’ll receive. This is my belief anyway. So, if you focus too much on I don’t have this, and I want this, and I want that – then it won’t always respond. So you’ve got to have some element of, I’m grateful for this, thank you for letting me have this in my life.

Mark [27:34] When you’re right into the heart of that gratitude, how much do you then connect to the “All That Is”?

Rachael [27:48] So explain that one to me?

Mark [27:50] Letting go of – when you in a moment of gratitude, like looking at a sunset, we can have gratitude and just be in ‘Aha moment’ in that sunset. Where do you go? What do you experience in that ‘Aha, moment’ of gratitude?

Being grateful

Rachael [28:10] I think for me it’s fairly simple. There’s a lot of people out there worse off than me. There’s a lot that, I can’t compare anything to any anyone. Everyone’s different, everyone’s going through certain different circumstances. So for me, my gratefulness comes from exactly that. I’m living in a really beautiful place, I’ve had the opportunity to come live here. I’ve got a beautiful roof over my head, I’m surrounded by really lovely people in my life. I’ve got a great family.

So, yet there’s, there’s a lot of people out there, that don’t have that. I had once a girlfriend where her parents both died when she was 10 and she didn’t have any family in Australia at all. She was a single mother. She was so inspiring because you sort of look at her and go wow. What are you grateful for? Then you hear about what she’s grateful for and you’re like, wow!! You have that, but I don’t have that. So there’s always going to be something different to be grateful for. It can be – when I started doing the grateful thing, I started off very small. It could be I’m grateful for my breakfast this morning. I’m grateful for having a nice warm coat to go to work in. I’m grateful for having $10 in my wallet to buy myself a coffee today. I started off very small, and then you can look at the bigger things. I just find that when you are tapping into the things you’re grateful for, you start to notice more things coming into your life that you can be even more grateful for.

Mark [30:09] You are grateful for the nature that you’ve got around yourself now in Bacchus Marsh?

Connecting to the love of Nature

Rachael [30:13] Yeah, absolutely it’s stunning. It’s absolutely beautiful. We’ve got heaps of cockatoos, thank goodness, I haven’t seen any snakes, but they’ve got a part in nature, so if they’re around, that’s fine. It’s beautiful here, and Iive not far from Lerderderg National Park. So it’s a beautiful sort of hiking track like it’s the forest, and you can walk around little creeks and rivers. It’s absolutely stunning and it almost feels like every day I come home from work, I’m away on a holiday.

Mark [30:47] How grounding can nature be for you?

Rachael [30:54] I’m very grounding. I mean, that’s where we all – it’s something I’ve heard once about, it was Bruce Lee was a quote, he said, ‘is be like water, water is very strong, but at the same time, it’s very weak.’ So be that balance. Be water when you need to be and in terms of its weakness, and its strength. I find nature, when you look at nature, that’s us. Nature goes through exactly what we go through. Its done differently, it looks different. They always come back, when you look at fires, or you look at all the natural disasters that happen, nature somehow comes back and just re-grows and starts again. Then start and then is better than it ever was before. There’s a lot you can take from nature.

Death & Rebirth of Nature

Mark [31:47] Is it like going through a ‘death-rebirth’ process for nature and we also go through the same thing?

Rachael [31:52] Yeah, absolutely and I think connecting to nature is really important. I really do. That’s just from anything, whether it’s a seaside or nature, like this – where you’re in the bush. There’s a lot that you could just sit. I’ve done it many times just and look at a tree and sort of think, well, you’re still growing, and I’m sure you’ve been through a lot too. It’s quite lovely to just look at what’s around you. As you said these things, they would will die off, but they’ll regrow and reborn and be better than what they were. That is not to say we can’t do that same thing in life. We’re always growing, we’re constantly changing as to how or however, which way we want to change.

Mark [32:45] Rachel, if you were to give a piece of advice to a young girl or a young man, following in your footsteps after you, what would that piece of advice be?

My Advice for those following my footsteps

Rachael [33:03] In all honesty, I’d say first start to learn to love yourself. Once you love yourself, I think everything else, certainly when I did all that everything fell into place for me. You really do get a sense of respect for yourself. So you get a sense of acceptance. I know as growing up for me, and I’m sure a lot of girls and guys out there – would just always, there’s that peer pressure almost – I want to fit in or I want to be in this group. I just think that if you get to a place of, this is who I am, this is who I love, I accept me 110% exactly as I am and I don’t need to change for anybody. I just found for me, that life just started to feel easier. It just started to feel less stressful, more enjoyable, I started to attract the right people in my life. The doors started to open because you weren’t having – you weren’t being one person one day and a completely different person the next. There’s another saying that went once said to me is, ‘if you’re not you then who will be’? I found that really powerful when I first heard that because at the end of the day that’s right, who is going to be other than you.

Mark [34:26] Rachael thank you for the opportunity to have this conversation about your Heart of Connection to Self, Others and ‘All That Is’ it’s been beautiful to hear your story. The great advice for other people coming through.

Rachael [34:38] Great thanks, Mark

Mark [34:40] Great advice for other young people coming through. Namaste to you.