There is bad news that I’m very sorry to have to inform you about, but even after those two great exposes there is yet another evolution in tattoos. It would seem that tramp stamp inkings on the small, errogenous area of the lower back would be bad enough, but my friends, it gets far worse.

Someway, somehow, some corrupt Mexican inkers out there got the notion to take Vajazzling, the dangerous underground trend we exposed and popularized to the world at large and tramp stamping. The result of this is now being called Vatooing and parents, if you suspect your daughter may have tried it, you have no choice but to rip her from college and take a look for yourself.

It may sound odd, but the thought of your daughter being a used up drug harpie that you have to fly to New York to identify the drug ravaged body that was dragged to the Police Morgue after she was found dead in an alley should be motivation enough for you to tell her to ‘strip ‘em down’. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, as you changed her musky diapers plenty of times before.

But now you may be shocked to see that area filled with inks and manifestations of copulated sins, pustules and lesions, all sorts of sickness. If your daughter protests, simply tell her to shut her mouth or you will cut off her college funding. Trust, if she’s a vatooer she’s shown her sick bits off to many people and will need to be pulled from school for counseling and HIV testing as is. If she’s innocent, this incident will be quickly forgotten and she’ll understand your devotion to keeping her pure.

Vatooing: What is It?

Naturally, the little cheating lesbian vixens at our anti-sister site, Jezebel.com, have created a tutorial and primer to introduce your innocent, college girl to the improper world of vatooing.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING VIDEO MEDIA SHOWS THE FIRMED, TAUT THIGHS OF SUN-BRONZED COLLEGE-AGED WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF VATOOING THEIR MOST LUSTY FLESH. IMMEDIATELY DEMAND THAT YOUR WIFE/OFFSPRING LEAVE THE ROOM BEFORE REVIEWING.

Here we see soft cotton purple gently unfurled, revealing a woman’s naughty surprise of Halloween decorations. Vatooers are usually male Mexicans, eager to spread their habenero hoppers into the fertility of any woman, especially those who are innocent and in college. Considering that getting any sort of ink-work like this is painful, college women usually go out for massive amounts of tequila and other hard liquors before a session, making them pliable to the faux-Spanish romances of any barrio bum with an inking pen.

What’s even worse in all this mess, is the aspect of vajazzling. As warned about by our good friend Derek Van Buren, college females tend to vajazzle so as to attact a mate.

They are distracting America’s most studious young men with brightly colored, bejeweled naught bits in the club, Snooki flashing them their things when the dance floor lights shine on them. This tempts the young men to look further and before they know it, it’s 9 months later and they are feeding a crying baby before their 4 am workshift while Mommy is out with some new guy, living it up in a child-support furnished condo and still finishing her law degree.

It’s a fate played out all over the nation and these vatoos are teaching girls to be little jezebels for Satan. Look at this next vatoo, where the young woman is obviously using nostalgia to make men tempted to look at her and then enter her warp pipe of damnation.

The scariest of all is the newest line of tattoos called ‘The Girl With the Dragon Vatoo”.

All around, especially in the northeast and as our California reporters confirm seen in Los Angeles and Orange County, are manifestations of these young women getting these lurid vatoos. The dragons wrap all around the body, confusing the mind with its array of scales meeting supple flesh and then leading in someway to the greatest and most dangerous lair a college man can enter at all. It’s only reserved for the married but these new vatoos are ensuring an ignorant one-eyed monster will visit that dragon’s roost and cause a child to spring forth 9 months later. Parents, it’s the most dangerous snare trap to your son and its sad to see that the movie The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and this Rooney Mara may have something to do with it.

Warn your son about these vatooed sorority women, parents. Saint George cannot slay all their dragons for them, sometimes, they have to have the discpline and wisdom to fight these battles on their own.