The Importance of Being Earnest

A few weeks ago, I was trying to remember that play where the guy goes and tries to **** his buddy's niece or something by lying about who he was and there was some wacky zany thing that happened and the name of the play was a double entendre about the point of the play and the character's name. Understandably, I was confused about what the hell the name of the play was. Later I remembered because I was wanting to use it as a name of this article I wanted to write.

I started reading Atlas Shrugged, because I hear from a lot of people that it's, "a pretty good book," which I took at face value until they tried to reassure me with, "like I'm totally serious, it's SUCH a good book. It's something that you would like." And like a grand wizard gone awry with a spell, a blizzard of bullshit came up crashing into the room ruining all the feng shui and the valencia orange I was enjoying.

First off, I want to say, **** you to all you Ayn Rand fans. That's not objectivism or a play for capitalism, it's marxist apologist dinosaur cum and on the same level of embarrassment as flamboyant homosexuals parading around as materialistic self-important "women" because that's what they think women are.

The point I'm trying to make with my Ayn-slur is that while reading the cacophony of words assaulting me from the pages of that book I stole off the internet legally, the importance of humility and earnestness in whatever the hell sport you've picked to do is absolutely forgotten. I'm gonna take a moment here to be serious, because most of the time, I'm usually playing you like a lute. Understand that I love only 3 things; language, racing, and fighting. In everything that I do, I try to relate it back to those things that I love. Lately, I've been trying to go through Modern Library's top 100 Novels of all time - which by the way is such a bullshit list, Ulysses? Really that's #1? REALLY? - and in reading those books I managed to get through, I tried to relate the MAIN IDEA back to what I love to do.

Ayn Rand is a 1-dimensional apologist and doesn't understand the importance of being earnest. Holy ****, 2 literary references and a double entendre in 1 sentence? I wish phrost was paying me for this. I'd almost make that sentence into a palindrome if I was any good at palindromes. Anyway, Rand, like many of you, is an apologist.

What is an apologist, you ask? (I learned this in writing class, this is how you gently let the reader know what you're talking about without insulting them, weakness is your golden key to coddling.) An apologist is someone who apologizes for who or what they are because they either feel guilt or are just pussies and don't like to stand up for what they believe in so they overcompensate by going so far into the opposite side of the fence, they're in a whole entirely different neighborhood and then get lost and forget what they were doing there in the first place.

I bring this up because I've been talking to a lot of people recently who have made the switch over to BJJ or Boxing or MT or Wrestling or Judo or whatever. In our conversations, it usually starts with polite enough talk of whatever sport they were in, and the inevitable, "Yeah, I used to do Karate and that sucked, you know what I mean..." finishing with the awkward stifled scoff as if he and I are now in some kind of secret anti-karate club. This flagrant disregard for any sense of dignity sends me into a flying mind bottling factory. I mean, this is such bullshit I actually had to rewrite this segment 3 times because I was so outraged. What do you think apologizing to me is going to do? Do you like your sport? Yes? The continue doing it. No? Then stop. Did you have fun? Yes? Then don't apologize for it. No? Then why are you still doing it?

Are you changing your sport because you didn't feel "cool" enough anymore? Yes? You're a ****** then. Too many times have I met someone who tells me, "Karate is for fags.... BUT I SECRETLY HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING IT!" Then why did you stop? What, you were afraid that your professional fighting career was going to suffer from doing too much point sparring? Oh I'm sorry, Mr. Titlebeltholder, how could I suggest that you keep doing your TKD because, because man that title belt defense you have coming sure is going to suffer from your training in playing foot tag. And you faggots who are FAR too into karate or whatever, don't think that I'm sticking up for you. No, **** you too. You guys are a whole entire other article in and of itself.

I have no real problem with people taking up whatever art they want, so long as they understand what they're getting. And in the same slum child stained bed, I want you to understand what you're trying to get. If you are genuinely happy switching over to something more "modern" because it suits you and makes you feel better, then by all means, go do it. If you're just trying to have the best trailer queen with all the most expensive parts and flashy brand names, but never actually use it, if you're just collecting them to show them off, then fine, that's understandable, not everyone is cut out to be a pokemon master. Most of you are just pokebreeders who want to fantasize about being a pokemon master. And how many pokebreeders do you know like to talk about how battling is "really like" when none of their pokemon have ever been KO'd?

Do not hide nor do not be embarrassed about who you are. Too many people are "making the switch" for all the wrong reasons. Social isolationism, trying to "fit in," too much of a ***** to just do what they want because it's fun and instead want to make those around them validate who they are. It makes me sad that so many people have left my old TKD dojang to go start on BJJ because "TKD doesn't work on the street." when NONE of them, NONE of them have ever fought, will never fight and probably won't ever touch another man violently because they live in the suburbs of California in not so dark areas. And let's face it, if you're living in a darkie area or your apartment complex is OK with Section 8, you're getting plenty of training on your own and can't afford to train anywhere anyway, so you probably don't need to be reading this. Yes it's very good to know what you're doing, but more improtantly you should know WHY you're doing it. The importance of being earnest is that if you're Earnest, you're gonna get to **** your buddy's barely 18yr old - and hot - niece. And I think we can all agree on doing that.

A few weeks ago, I was trying to remember that play where the guy goes and tries to **** his buddy's niece or something by lying about who he was and there was some wacky zany thing that happened and the name of the play was a double entendre about the point of the play and the character's name. Understandably, I was confused about what the hell the name of the play was. Later I remembered because I was wanting to use it as a name of this article I wanted to write.

I started reading Atlas Shrugged, because I hear from a lot of people that it's, "a pretty good book," which I took at face value until they tried to reassure me with, "like I'm totally serious, it's SUCH a good book. It's something that you would like." And like a grand wizard gone awry with a spell, a blizzard of bullshit came up crashing into the room ruining all the feng shui and the valencia orange I was enjoying.

First off, I want to say, **** you to all you Ayn Rand fans. That's not objectivism or a play for capitalism, it's marxist apologist dinosaur cum and on the same level of embarrassment as flamboyant homosexuals parading around as materialistic self-important "women" because that's what they think women are.

The point I'm trying to make with my Ayn-slur is that while reading the cacophony of words assaulting me from the pages of that book I stole off the internet legally, the importance of humility and earnestness in whatever the hell sport you've picked to do is absolutely forgotten. I'm gonna take a moment here to be serious, because most of the time, I'm usually playing you like a lute. Understand that I love only 3 things; language, racing, and fighting. In everything that I do, I try to relate it back to those things that I love. Lately, I've been trying to go through Modern Library's top 100 Novels of all time - which by the way is such a bullshit list, Ulysses? Really that's #1? REALLY? - and in reading those books I managed to get through, I tried to relate the MAIN IDEA back to what I love to do.

Ayn Rand is a 1-dimensional apologist and doesn't understand the importance of being earnest. Holy ****, 2 literary references and a double entendre in 1 sentence? I wish phrost was paying me for this. I'd almost make that sentence into a palindrome if I was any good at palindromes. Anyway, Rand, like many of you, is an apologist.

What is an apologist, you ask? (I learned this in writing class, this is how you gently let the reader know what you're talking about without insulting them, weakness is your golden key to coddling.) An apologist is someone who apologizes for who or what they are because they either feel guilt or are just pussies and don't like to stand up for what they believe in so they overcompensate by going so far into the opposite side of the fence, they're in a whole entirely different neighborhood and then get lost and forget what they were doing there in the first place.

I bring this up because I've been talking to a lot of people recently who have made the switch over to BJJ or Boxing or MT or Wrestling or Judo or whatever. In our conversations, it usually starts with polite enough talk of whatever sport they were in, and the inevitable, "Yeah, I used to do Karate and that sucked, you know what I mean..." finishing with the awkward stifled scoff as if he and I are now in some kind of secret anti-karate club. This flagrant disregard for any sense of dignity sends me into a flying mind bottling factory. I mean, this is such bullshit I actually had to rewrite this segment 3 times because I was so outraged. What do you think apologizing to me is going to do? Do you like your sport? Yes? The continue doing it. No? Then stop. Did you have fun? Yes? Then don't apologize for it. No? Then why are you still doing it?

Are you changing your sport because you didn't feel "cool" enough anymore? Yes? You're a ****** then. Too many times have I met someone who tells me, "Karate is for fags.... BUT I SECRETLY HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING IT!" Then why did you stop? What, you were afraid that your professional fighting career was going to suffer from doing too much point sparring? Oh I'm sorry, Mr. Titlebeltholder, how could I suggest that you keep doing your TKD because, because man that title belt defense you have coming sure is going to suffer from your training in playing foot tag. And you faggots who are FAR too into karate or whatever, don't think that I'm sticking up for you. No, **** you too. You guys are a whole entire other article in and of itself.

I have no real problem with people taking up whatever art they want, so long as they understand what they're getting. And in the same slum child stained bed, I want you to understand what you're trying to get. If you are genuinely happy switching over to something more "modern" because it suits you and makes you feel better, then by all means, go do it. If you're just trying to have the best trailer queen with all the most expensive parts and flashy brand names, but never actually use it, if you're just collecting them to show them off, then fine, that's understandable, not everyone is cut out to be a pokemon master. Most of you are just pokebreeders who want to fantasize about being a pokemon master. And how many pokebreeders do you know like to talk about how battling is "really like" when none of their pokemon have ever been KO'd?

Do not hide nor do not be embarrassed about who you are. Too many people are "making the switch" for all the wrong reasons. Social isolationism, trying to "fit in," too much of a ***** to just do what they want because it's fun and instead want to make those around them validate who they are. It makes me sad that so many people have left my old TKD dojang to go start on BJJ because "TKD doesn't work on the street." when NONE of them, NONE of them have ever fought, will never fight and probably won't ever touch another man violently because they live in the suburbs of California in not so dark areas. And let's face it, if you're living in a darkie area or your apartment complex is OK with Section 8, you're getting plenty of training on your own and can't afford to train anywhere anyway, so you probably don't need to be reading this. Yes it's very good to know what you're doing, but more improtantly you should know WHY you're doing it. The importance of being earnest is that if you're Earnest, you're gonna get to **** your buddy's barely 18yr old - and hot - niece. And I think we can all agree on doing that.

If you're looking for criticism from a writing point of view, I'd say that I've never seen the "Stanley Fish with Tourrette's and head trauma" win over too many people. In this audience it just goes too long without a point. Also self aware writing isn't automatically good. Especially for an audience that is chomping at the bit to respond "tl:dr."