STEVENS POINT — Rob Sutherland is a devoted and loving husband to Rhonda, his wife of 38 years. He's an adoring father for his son Rob and daughter Abbey.

However, a conversation with a physician in February of 2013 changed his and his family's life forever. Rhonda was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, a rare form of the degenerative brain disease.

Now Sutherland has added caretaker to his list of titles.

"My initial reaction was 'God, you're only 56,'" said Rob, who resides with his wife in West Bend. "Hearing someone actually say your wife has Alzheimer's is so shocking."

For their daughter, who was the head volleyball coach at Division I Southern Mississippi, the news hit her like a powerful volleyball spike to the face. It would lead her back to Wisconsin, where she found a job as volleyball coach at the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. On Wednesday Oct. 7, the Pointers volleyball team will play in an "Attacking Alzheimer's" match with Eau Claire designed to raise funds and awareness to fight the disease.

At the time Abbey heard the news of her mother's diagnosis, she felt her life was spiraling out of control. She had lost her home when a tornado hit Hattiesburg on Feb. 10, 2013; friends in the University of Southern Mississippi community helped her get back on her feet and rebuild her home. Just about that time, however, her life took an emotional hit with the news about her mother.

"I was homeless, and on top of that with my mom being diagnosed (with Alzheimer's), it was a really hard and dark time in my life," Abbey said. "It was devastating to think that the mother who did everything for us growing up was already turning into a person who couldn't cook or have as good of a full conversation with you.

"That summer the (University of Wisconsin-Stevens) Point volleyball job came open and I knew my family needed me more than ever."

There were signs before the actual diagnosis that the life the Sutherlands had known was never going to be the same.

Now 59, Rhonda would repeat the same question or thought several times in conversation. She struggled to follow simple directions during a game of charades or while at work.

Her driving became more erratic. Rhonda even got lost on a trip over to her son Rob's house in West Bend, a route she had driven dozens of times before.

"I think I was so close to it, the signs were there, but Alzheimer's never entered my mind," Rhonda's husband said.

Suddenly shopping trips with mother and daughter had become more burdensome. Rhonda needed help putting on clothes.

When they went to lunch, Abbey needed to help her mom find the restrooms to wash up.

Her family was as confused, and perhaps in denial. Rhonda was, after all, too young to be a victim of Alzheimer's.

"Being in her early fifties, we thought for a long time that maybe she was going through menopause," Abbey said. "My dad even thought maybe she was hard of hearing and needed to get her hearing tested."

The harsh reality is the cruel disease of Alzheimer's isn't age discriminatory. An individual doesn't need to be past 80 before he or she can fall under its debilitating grip.

Nearly 44 million people have Alzheimer's or the closely related dementia worldwide, according to statistics provided by Alzheimer’s Disease International.

A life upended

Dealing with the disease can throw a huge wrench into the daily routine of the caregiver as well.

As the primary source of income for the household — Rhonda was an elementary school physical education teacher in the West Bend school district before her issues reared their ugly head — Rob faces a tough dilemma of his own.

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Rhonda and Rob Sutherland of West Bend play with their dog, Bella, on the back deck of their house. Wednesday September 30, 2015.(Photo: Doug Raflik/Gannett Wisconsin Media)

Instead of devoting an appropriate amount of time to his job, the patriarch of the family spends a large portion of each day focused on giving Rhonda the best life he can create for her.

And more often than not that means his business is secondary on the priority list. Rob Sutherland, who owns a financial/insurance business out of his home, would like to visit his clientele more often in person. That is easier said than done under the current set of circumstances.

"There is no playbook when it comes to how to handle someone dealing with Alzheimer's," said Rob Sutherland, who has learned how to cook. "With anybody who's a caregiver, you always err on the side of caution, so my work takes a back seat.

"My No. 1 goal is to make sure Rhonda is in a situation where she's comfortable, especially socially," he added. "There is a fine line because you don't want to hover. Rhonda is a very proud woman and wants to do as much as she can for as long as she can."

If Rob has to run an errand, he always makes sure everything she needs is where she can find it.

His sacrifice hasn't been lost on his children either. While difficult during the college volleyball season, Abbey makes the drive from Stevens Point to West Bend as often as possible.

In large part, the trips south are so she can spend time with her mom.

However, she also feels a need to allow her dad to have some time for himself to unwind and take a breather. Or take care of things with the business.

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Rhonda and Rob Sutherland of West Bend watch their dog, Bella, play with a toy volleyball in their house. Wednesday September 30, 2015.(Photo: Doug Raflik/Gannett Wisconsin Media)

"She needs company, I think, and my dad needs a break. As much as he loves my mother, he needs to get away," said Abbey, holding back tears. "I do my best to see them as much as possible, but I think there is something I could do more. I think that is the burden of a child whose mother has Alzheimer's. I feel guilty whether or not I should.

"It's tough because sometimes I don't know if me mom is aware of what she has and sometimes I think she is very aware," Abbey said. "I prefer she lives in the not-aware moments because the hardest part for us is when she's sad. That when you see her struggling with continuing and not wanting to live."

'Attacking Alzheimer's' through awareness

There are times when Abbey and her family could forget about dealing with the harsh disease that has turned their lives upside down.

Rob and Rhonda will be present Wednesday in Stevens Point when the Pointers host UW-Eau Claire in a Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference dual meet as part of the second annual "Attacking Alzheimer's" event.

Proceeds from a special 50/50 raffle, bake sale will benefit the Alzheimer's Association. Attendees are encouraged to wear purple to show their support.

"On a day when I felt strong enough I talked to the team about Alzheimer's," Abbey said. "I thanked them for bringing so much joy to our family. Seeing us play volleyball makes my mom so happy.

"When my dad watches our team play, he can forget about all the other stuff going on in his life for those two hours. He can be assistant coach Rob Sutherland and be the best cheeleader."

— Scott A. Williams can be reached at 715-345-2282, or on email at ssswilliam@gannett.com. Find him on Twitter as @SPJScottWill.

Attend the 'Attacking Alzheimer's' volleyball match

What: Volleyball match between UWSP and UW-Eau Claire

When: 7 p.m. Wednesday

Where: 2050 Fourth Ave., Stevens Point

Cost: General admission tickets are $5.

Special t-shirts are available for $15 prior to the match. Contact Pointers head coach Abbey Sutherland at 715-346-2151 or via email at abbey.sutherland@uwsp.edu, or assistant coach Lyndsay Kooi at 715-346-2151.

For more information about the Alzheimer's Association or Alzheimer's disease visit www.alz.org/walk or call 1-800-272-3900.