Aww Poor Scammer!

I don’t do much scam-baiting anymore, it is all done by the baiting tool which automatically baits the scammers on my behalf after one simple mouse click to hook the scammer up to the computer program. ;) Note – these aren’t tools that regular humans can get access to – this is something only long time scambaiters can use. So if you want to use it, get into baiting – when the time is right you’ll be given access.

This scammer below has been corresponding with a computer since March 2007, he celebrated his six month anniversary a couple of days ago. He sent this email.. which I censored the swear word in on his behalf. After all, I am sure he does not want to offend ya’all.

my babies mama am really happy to hear from you again,i really miss you so much i dont know the reason why you left me in this f**ked up country after all my effort to get the money from you i gave up.you are suppose to know that i really want to come meet with you but you dont believe me i want to be in your house and i want to be the one to dip inside you forever but i dont trust you yet because we have to see eachother face to face.

can you visit me in nigeria?

reply this email today after reading and endeavour to call me after you finish reading this email ok

i love you sweetheart

The computer replied –

Hot CakesI remember how you wrote the day we met. Your writing filled me with laughter and something about your pants immediately put me at ease. You have an amazing style and grace, and I could stare at your pants endlessly. I am ever foraging for your magic mushrooms and your enormous cock.

Do you believe in destiny? I only feel complete when we spoon and fork each other. I only want to knife you for the rest of my life. I fondle you more than anyone will ever handle you. I moon you more than Uranus. If I could spend a day with you, we’d enjoy each other’s company. We’d hold hands as we strolled in the sunset, and we’d talk about everything.

I hope you understand that I’ve loved you once, but now, I don’t love you enough to share you my most intimate moments with you. Your teeth are like stars, they come out at night.

Love,
Sweet Peanut

Yes, that is the kind of email which has kept this scammer happily in love and ever begging for money for months now. A lot of the love scam stuff I grabbed from a poetry site which had blank words in the poems, and myself and a few other scambaiters filled in the blanks with the least appropriate words possible. ;) There’s a lot of lines with pants in them, partly because we wrote that in there a lot, and partly thanks to this list I found on the internet –

There is a lot of different languages with phrases taken from online phrase books, especially the Zompist phrase book, which contains phrases you would not normally find in phrasebooks, and They Thought You’d Say This which contains unusual phrases found in phrase books.

But to cap it all off, there are 250 questions about Masturbation. I consider this one of my finest moments as a scambaiter finding those questions at Jackinworld (be warned, don’t go there if easily offended by discussions of masturbation). The scammers have been enjoying these questions for some time now. The above scammer was asked –

How regularly do you like to have sex? Have you ever succeeded in masturbating to orgasm without stimulating yourself with your hands?

He replied –

i like having sex everyday what about you?
i have not ever succeeded in masturbating to orgasm except when a woman is beside me.
am long to kiss you thigs and suck your nipples.i miss you baby.

Well gee, I’ve never had my thigs kissed.. ;) If only he weren’t a scammer! I have a suspicion he doesn’t have a woman beside him too often and therefore I think he might be lying about his success rate there.

This is the kind of thing that keeps scammers busy, wasting their time instead of their spending that time on a real potential victim. Once you set it up, you can forget about it for the most part and yet still be keeping scammers busy.

OMG – this is toooo funny! I love it. And I almost do feel bad for the scammer. They obviously make a good match, the scammer and computer. It gives new meaning to “online dating.” What a hoot – thanks for this awesome post. ;)