How Can I Develop My Personality?

Problem: You know well, how difficult is the 'job' of job-hunting these days. Interview first, group discussion next, etc. etc. You need to go through so many tough rounds one after the other. Despite knowing the answers to most of the questions, I don't know what happens to me and I become so nervous that the interviewer easily makes out the lack of confidence in me. I face the similar problem in the company of my friends as well, where I find it difficult to express myself properly and, as a result, most often, I become the laughing stock amongst them. Please tell me how can I overcome this weakness of mine?

Solution: Nervousness, lack of confidence, inability to express properly… the root cause of all these deficiencies has just one aspect - Your undeveloped and disintegrated personality! You need to polish your personality well if you wish to present yourself in an impressive manner and leave a positive impression on the people with whom you have opportunity to interact.

In today's scenario, as for the youth of present generation, the meaning of personality has reduced just to a set of few factors; like, to converse with an artificial alacrity and aplomb, having an impressive social disposition, and to appear stylish or well-groomed.

But, mind you, all these pertain solely to the outer covering, the physical layer of your personality. Below this, two more subtle layers exist - Psychological and Spiritual layers. To evolve as a robust and graceful personality, it is necessary that all these layers develop in perfect harmony with each other. This is exactly the secret behind a healthy fruit too. A fruit has three 'layers' - the peel, the pulp, and the seed! Any deficiency in any of these parts of the fruit – like, if there are spots on the peel or if the pulp is decomposed or has no juice or if the seed is not fit enough to sprout - then you don't like to touch the fruit. When all these three things are proper and developed in perfect harmony - then only the fruit is considered as good, tasty, and fit enough to be consumed.

If you wish to imprint a good and favourable impression on people you contact and interact with, you need to work on all the three layers of your personality. At present, you must be paying proper attention to the outer layer - making lots of efforts to look tidy and smart. And, if not, then first of all, do this! However, do not neglect the other two layers. A German saint of the year 1260, Eckhart, used to say, "To be properly expressed, a thing must proceed from within…." It is a fact that the inner layers of the mind and soul provide glow and glory to the outer layer of your personality. They give you the perfect and confident body language. It is said thus, "Outer personality is the reflection of essence within you." How? Let's now understand this.

A wonderful science is involved in this. The first layer transmits the entire information gathered by it to the second (Psychological) layer. In other words, the sense organs take the information to your brain. The Limbic System analyses, weighs the pros and cons of this information. It, then, conveys the information to the frontal lobe. The intellect, on the basis of both - the old information (stored in the memory part) and the one conveyed to it by the Limbic System, gives the output signals. These signals are then re-transmitted back to the sense organs or the outer physical layer. It is thus obvious that you will react according to the signals that you receive from your inside. If the signals are infused with negativity or they lack strength or are full of fright and confusion, how can you be impressive and confident, even if you desire so?

What needs to be done to make these signals positive, proper, and full of glow? You need to bring in contact the second layer with the third layer of your personality, i.e., the spiritual Self. For, our spiritual Self is like a powerhouse, from where positive vibrations, energy, and faultless inspirations emerge. You can also call it 'Voice of the Conscience.' When the intellect succeeds in establishing the connection with the soul, you observe a distinct change in its style of functioning. Now, it not only possesses the opinion of the Limbic system and the opinions on the basis of stored information but also has the permanent back-up power of the soul, which provides appropriate and correct advice and also serves as a rich energy bank. As a result, the output that flows from therein is bound to be positive and energising! When your sense organs receive these signals, they act and react with perfection. You achieve excellence and attraction in yourself as far as your personality is concerned.