“your mother’s cauldron was hot

But your cauldron was boiling

My father did not realize

That the boiling cauldron

Was a principal icon

My present abode had more boiling

Cauldron principally for our lost loved ones

Written by:MORDI IFEANYI APEXWriter/Educator/TutorUniversity of BeninDepartment of English

STRUCTURAL/ LITERATURE REVIEW

According to Wikipedia –A cauldron (or caldron) is a large cast iron pot(kettle) for cooking or boiling over an open fire, with a large pot and frequently with an arc -shaped hanger.

The poem is a symbolic expression of the impart of two women in the life of one man, even after death, there was a greater impartation. The title of the poem “ The CAULDRON “

Its implicit:Line 6-7 say:

I brought you very early close to the cauldron,

Waiting for your return

First, the cauldron in this setting was built by some special women in this community as rites of passage and also as a medium to bring them back from deep slumber. These class of women are powerful women who design special cauldron for their love ones and this love should beRECIPROCAL.

Those shown this“CAULDRON LOVE “must bring these women close to the cauldron at the first sign of dawn or face the risk of loosing these women. The cauldrons in these homes bring great fortune.

Isabella and her mother in this poem have brought her father and husband to her mother good fortune, but they intend extending the love and fortune they brought to their family. So, they decided not to wake up.

The fortune and love brought by them to their family was a complete one.The cauldron from original description is used for boiling as

Line 11-12 says:

your mother’s cauldron was hot

But your cauldron was boiling

Reading further again,Line 16-17 says:

My present abode had more boiling

Cauldron principally for our lost loved ones

The above expression mark the fact that the purpose of the cauldron had been defeated just as the purpose of their (Isabella and mother) death being defeated.

Note:The dead in the poem refer their loved ones as being lost too as the living puts them thus as being lost.

Here is a question for my fellow bloggers and readers:

1. What are you contributions,opinions and views about the poem?

2. In the society you find yourself, do women try extremely hard to extend a special love to their husband.

3. Being a man or a woman. What are the things you do that shows special love to your wife or husband.( I need an inspirational answers)

4. When or if you lost a loved one. Did it or if it will change your kind of person? or perceptions about Life? ( I need an inspirational answers)

5. Can the poem relate with your perception of women in your area/region — if so say YES or NO(with clear reasons)

N2: in the society in which I find myself, women after the period of falling in love, are looking for another love because the former has disappointed them, having idealized them.N3: I am a woman and the special love I feel for my husband is to hear him breathe at night next to me.N4. when my brother died of spearfishing, I could no longer talk about him, nor go to the beach for five years. N5: the poem concerns all the people around me, especially the women who are expecting a baby and I tremble for them.

Patrick Stories is really sorry for the late reply/response to the comment. My schedule was tight this period.

Please try and understand my plights. Thanks for understanding me.

Am so please by that wonderful comment about the post.

Thanks for taking time to answer some of the questions put after you.

This is how I do my things, I make sure all my poems have meaning so the mind of viewers or readers will not be only imagination but it look more real and superior to their thinking.

Thanks for giving me a chance to talk to you. Am please now I have someone who have my same idea and agree with me.

These words you used are painted in truth, experience and reflective. I especially love how you started it and how you ended the comment, view and contributions. Beautifully written and as I read through again on each line I was amazed . Each word you used are true and reflective of my personal encounter with people(women).

This produced a smile on my tired face after a long day. You’re appreciated.

I must admit to ignorance with this particular poem. At my first reading, I did not fully understand the meaning of the cauldron. Your explanation helped me to open my eyes to the true meaning. Thank you! As for your questions, Here are my thoughts:
N1 – It depends upon the generation the women was raised in. I am from a transitional generation, where women were still expected to be the ones to take care of the household, by cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children and making sure the husbands were happy. However, being in a transitional generation, we knew/ could feel there should/could be more to relationships and there could be real love. Women wanted to feel loved as much as they gave love.
N2 – Do the unexpected and surprise your partner. It doesn’t have to be a huge or elaborate thing. Just a surprise to show you think of the other person. One time, when my husband and I were on a trip, he went to the vending machine to get us both something to drink. He didn’t ask me what I wanted, but he brought back my favorite soda. The best part – the soda wasn’t something that every vending machine had.
N3 – Recently, one of my best friends from childhood passed away unexpectedly. We hadn’t been in contact for years. We both lived by the thought that we would always have tomorrow. Now the reality has hit. We don’t. I am more determined now to actually DO the things that I want and say I’m going to do. I’m not going to sit back and let life pass. I am going to live it.
N4 – It does, in that we all want the same thing – Love. It is a gift that we should treasure and not let slip away. We need to work at it, but not be abused by it. Love is complicated, but it is beautiful when shared.

Am happy you answered some questions put after you. Such a profound way of answering the questions being put in to you.
That is very good of you.
After going through your comment, am touched by your first answer, as I quote:
“”””” N1 – It depends upon the generation the women was raised in. I am from a transitional generation, where women were still expected to be the ones to take care of the household, by cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children and making sure the husbands were happy. However, being in a transitional generation, we knew/ could feel there should/could be more to relationships and there could be real love. Women wanted to feel loved as much as they gave love. “””””””
I went through your post and the word you used are marvelous in answering the first question.

I totally agree with that statement –
“””” However, being in a transitional generation, we knew/ could feel there should/could be more to relationships and there could be real love. Women wanted to feel loved as much as they gave love. “””””

It give women a little rethink about cooking and house/domestic chores which most women think are marriage/wife material criteria in to been accepted in to the family.
My point is that we are all people and not defined by preconceived notions of delegated roles assigned by gender. There are so many successful women who have achieved things that I can only dream of, and it matters not to me if she is married, single, divorced, young, old or strong and loud or soft and gentle. Their accomplishments added to our world.
We have various women in our world today who have accomplish much in term of education, science and technology. Whether married, single, divorce, old and young. They all add benefit to the society at large. No one should be neglected base on gender.
The idea of gender role( cooking, domestic chores are meant for women) I don’t agree with it personally.
Here is a little draft from our renowned feminist.
According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:
Third Suggestion
Teach her that the idea of ‘gender roles’ is absolute nonsense. Do not ever tell her that she
should or should not do something because she is a girl.
‘Because you are a girl’ is never a reason for anything ever “””””””

Here is a quote from our own feminist.

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book: Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions

Third suggestion:
——– The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina. Cooking is learned.
Cooking – domestic work in general – is a life skill that both men and women should ideally
have. It is also a skill that can elude both men and women. We also need to question the idea of marriage as a prize to women, because that is the basis
of these absurd debates. If we stop conditioning women to see marriage as a prize, then we
would have fewer debates about a wife needing to cook in order to earn that prize.
It is interesting to me how early the world starts to invent gender roles. ———

Another excerpt/draft from her book also about gender role.
FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book: Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions
Third suggestion:
——Gender roles are so deeply conditioned in us that we will often follow them even when they
chafe against our true desires, our needs, our happiness. They are very difficult to unlearn, and
so it is important to try to make sure that Chizalum rejects them from the beginning. Instead of
letting her internalize the idea of gender roles, teach her self-reliance. Tell her that it is
important to be able to do for herself and fend for herself. Teach her to try to fix physical things
when they break. We are quick to assume girls can’t do many things. Let her try. She might not
fully succeed, but let her try. ————-

Another idea of gender roles is that saying that COOKING are meant for women.
No No No No No……….that is a wrong perception of people about women in the society.
COOKING are not meant for women. For me personally I disagree with that perception from people.
Another aspect of gender roles is that girls are condition to be weak and are left with domestics chores in the house. It’s high time we shared it equally. Boys and girls can do domestics chores at home.

Another back up based on cooking from FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi
According to a popular literature book “””. We should all be feminist “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””””””” I know a woman who hates domestic work, but she pretends that she likes it, because
she has been taught that to be “good wife material,” she has to be—to use that Nigerian
word—homely. And then she got married. And her husband’s family began to complain
that she had changed. Actually, she had not changed. She just got tired of pretending to
be what she was not.
The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than
recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be
our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations.
Boys and girls are undeniably different biologically, but socialization exaggerates the
differences. And then starts a self-fulfiling process. Take cooking, for example. Today,
women in general are more likely to do housework than men— cooking and cleaning.
But why is that? Is it because women are born with a cooking gene or because over
years they have been socialized to see cooking as their role? I was going to say that
perhaps women are born with a cooking gene until I remembered that the majority of
famous cooks in the world—who are given the fancy title of “chef”—are men

But what matters even more is our attitude, our mind-set.
What if, in raising children, we focus on ability instead of gender? What if we focus on
interest instead of gender?

I know a family who has a son and a daughter, a year apart in age, both brilliant at
school. When the boy is hungry, the parents say to the girl, Go and cook Indomie
noodles for your brother. The girl doesn’t like to cook Indomie, but she is a girl and she
has to. What if the parents, from the beginning, taught both children to cook Indomie?
Cooking, by the way, is a useful and practical life skill for a boy to have—I’ve never
thought it made much sense to leave such a crucial thing—the ability to nourish oneself
—in the hands of others. “”””””””””””””

This is about the gender equality feminist preach and agitate for.

As for me cooking,domestic chores- cleaning sweeping,mopping are supposed to be shared equally.

Cooking was never meant for women. Anybody can cook whether male or female.

As for me I have been given the orientation about Gender equality right from the onset

Thanks for this last words-
“”””” Once again – you get me thinking! Thank you! 🙂 “””””””””

Completely agree – there shouldn’t be gender roles as we should work together to get things done. I, unfortunately, had to leave my husband as I was moving beyond the expectations of the gender roles and he was satisified with things staying the same. I believe and trust that by doing this my daughters have learned independence and that they do not need to conform to specific roles. As for my son, I hope that he learned respect and a greater understanding that working together is much better than forcing roles by gender. Absolutely love your posts!

Thank you. I am happy to see your reply about to what I said earlier.It gives me a thoughtful thinking and am happy for that.

Am sorry for the divorce.

In reference to your post, I totally agree this part where you said-

“””” there shouldn’t be gender roles as we should work together to get things done. “””

As I went further I read and understand your pain about it.

I know if all women are treated equally nothing like feminism and issues about feminist will occur.

The subjugation and subjection lead to the advocates of gender equality.

I totally agree with all your plights about the unequality that is given to women.

This feminist you see are agitating for GENDER EQUALITY.

I keep saying this any where I go. For me my own point on this matter:

PatrickStories Quotes

I was brought up by a mother who inculcated in me a deep respect for women. I believe that the inequality that women have faced through the centuries and today as well is a failure of all societies, and especially the mindset of male patriarchy. I cannot call myself anything other than a person who believes strongly in justice and gender-rights for women everywhere. It would be arrogant of me to call myself a feminist, though I believe strongly in the cause of the emancipation of women in all societies that repress women and pursue the same practices of male domination.

Thanks for the compliment.

You welcome Ms Ktites

Cheers,

From PATRICK

#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤

NOTE: “”” Ms “””” was attached here to your name because I believe you are a feminist and you run a feminist blog and also the way the popular FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi says in her book:

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

Here she says:

“”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
whether married or not.