Elliott Management, headed by notorious billionaire investor Paul Singer, has put forward four nominees to replace Dorsey, who currently splits his CEO duties between Twitter and payments company Square. Singer evidently sees a CEO with fingers in other pies as an obstacle to his raison d’être of boosting stock prices, which you feel simply can’t be helped by Dorsey’s plans to spend the year swanning around in Africa.

Dorsey, though a punching bag for the entire Twitter community, is our punching bag, and we remain on his side. We might have a pop at him for not clobbering every single neo-Nazi in Doberman-avatar clothing, but we’ll be damned if some jumped-up twerp wades in with his poxy billion dollars and gets him sacked before us.

What do we even know about this Singer bloke? Well, Jonathan Bush, cousin of George W and co-founder of healthtech Athenahealth, has likened researching Singer’s name once he’s bought shares in your company to “googling this thing on your arm” and finding “you’re going to die”. Take care, Jack!

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