Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•Tiger Woods appeared on today's Mike And Mike radio show, with some ground rules: no questions about Elin or his car accident. Tiger, it's the one interesting thing you've ever done. No one's tuning in at 7:30 a.m. to hear your platitudes on how you're happy to get back to playing bad golf.