• Proving that she's perhaps the most idiotic woman in the world, Denise Richards — already in the running for the crown thanks to her decision to marry Charlie Sheen — is now hooking up with Heather Locklear's ex, Richie Sambora. [Page Six]
• And speaking of Sheen, Richards thinks he might have had something to do with porn star Chloe Jones' death last year after Jones sold a story to the National Enquirer claiming Sheen paid her $15K for sex. Richards claims that Sheen doesn't deny involvement. [R&M]
• Maury Povich has been cheating on Connie Chung. If these two are in the news, then thank God the 80s are back yet again! [NYDN]
• You have to admire the insanity of queen flack Peggy Siegal, who claims that United 93 is the hottest screening in town. [Lowdown]
• Toby Maguire gets engaged to his girlfriend of the past three years, Jennifer Meyer, whose father is Universal head Ron Meyer. And that, drama students, is how you secure a career in Hollywood. [Page Six]