A Woody wannabe mines his neuroses

Published 4:00 am, Friday, January 23, 2004

Co-writer and star Keith Black in a scene from Steve Marshall's "Get the Script to Woody Allen." / The Chronicle

Co-writer and star Keith Black in a scene from Steve Marshall's "Get the Script to Woody Allen." / The Chronicle

A Woody wannabe mines his neuroses

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At the beginning of his 17-minute short, Keith Black is peppering Woody Allen's office with phone calls, asking to submit a script. In the background is a collage of all things Woody.

He talks like Woody, he looks -- well, not exactly like Woody, but he is short and neurotic and wears glasses. He's nervous around women and uses "Annie Hall" as inspiration for kissing a girl.

The real Keith Black -- like Allen, he's from Brooklyn -- is in therapy, and also professes a crush on Diane Keaton. Just as Allen himself once used Humphrey Bogart as his muse in "Play It Again Sam," Black is using his hero as inspiration in "Get the Script to Woody Allen," a short that has received coverage in the New York Times and Hollywood Reporter, and opened in front of a Woody Allen movie at the prestigious Venice International Film Festival last September.

The movie has slipped into San Francisco, where it will play Friday at the Artists' Television Access, 992 Valencia St., as part of the organization's monthly open screening of short films. Others in the one-hour program include Mike Missiaen's "Untitled," Peter Carter's "Shadowplay" and Guy Campbell's "Calico Summer."

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Black, 34, got his idea from an actual encounter with Woody Allen, when he tracked the filmmaker down at a New York jazz club and handed him a script. And yes, he has called Allen's office several times, "to try and find out if he ever read it or just threw it in the garbage." And Keaton?

"I'm actually trying to get her to watch my movie," Black said by telephone from New York. "I think she's the greatest actress of our time."

So the inevitable question is, has anyone ever taken out a restraining order on Black?

"It's funny that you mention that," Black said. "Woody Allen is such a nice guy, he autographed my restraining order."

Of course, these are just jokes. Black is indeed a Woody Allen fan, and like anyone who has come from nowhere to make a low-budget film, he is a relentless self-promoter -- has turned it into an art form, in fact.

But there's another side to his story. If he makes it in film, it will be his second career change, and his current profession is one he already finds fulfilling. He is a high school math teacher in Brooklyn, and Black says his stab at filmmaking makes him a role model for his students, whom he encourages to chase their dreams.

"It's an interesting dichotomy because I have a strong analytical math side and a creative side," Black said. "Ironically, I started out as an MBA/CPA -- started out as a tax accountant -- but I wanted to help inner- city kids learn. Also, as a teacher, you have summers off, and that leaves you with plenty of time to pursue other goals.

"It was so inspiring to the kids in my class to show them how I began to realize my dreams through persistence, hard work and training. That's something they could apply to their own studies, their own lives. . . . It's very healthy not to be afraid to express who you are."

Black began his dream with a chance meeting of a top New York comic, Steve Marshall, seven years ago. Black has dabbled in stand-up comedy himself, and taught himself to write scripts. The brief contact with Allen has indeed led to a film -- but not with Allen's willing participation. The jazz club incident served as the impetus for "Get the Script to Woody Allen," which Marshall directed and co-wrote.

It won the Long Island Film Expo award for best short film, and presented Black -- when it was selected to play in front of the world premiere of Allen's "Anything Else" at Venice in September -- with a golden opportunity: to again meet Woody Allen, this time filmmaker-to-filmmaker, and take questions from the distinguished press at Venice.

Except: One of Black's many neuroses -- he may have Allen beat on that score -- is a fear of flying. He didn't go.

"I know, I know," Black moans. "It would have been so good for my career. I've got to get over this somehow."

Black can tick off a whole list of neuroses: fear of women, fear of being naked in front of another man, low self-esteem and trouble making decisions, to name a few. His case was so challenging that his current therapist is one of the top psychotherapists in the country, 90-year-old Dr. Albert Ellis, whom he is able to afford through his health insurance.

"Psychology is a very powerful medium," Black said. "I recommend it for anybody -- it's really improved my writing. My pitching skills got better. He taught me not to take things so seriously.

"It's also improved my dating life, because he taught me that a lot of time (when) people are not interested in you, it may have nothing to do with you. You're not their type, or they have their own problems, or whatever. My esteem level has gone up tremendously -- all my neuroses have totally improved because I learned that not everything is perfect."

Ellis, apparently, has created a monster -- albeit an affably benign one. The man with low self-esteem has, in 2004, chatted up Matt Damon in a Manhattan video store, and earlier this week actually went on a date. He is planning his next project, which he says will have nothing to do with Woody Allen.

That's not to say he has given up on connecting with his hero entirely. He talks to Allen's publicist regularly to keep him apprised of the success of "Get the Script to Woody Allen," and he has submitted a request to have lunch with Allen, though that isn't quite his ultimate fantasy.

"My fantasy would be to have a group therapy session with Woody Allen," Black said. "That would be like singing a duet with Barbra Streisand."

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