All Things For Good

Category Archives: Abortion

In the summer of 1998 a friend and I spent an evening together. A few weeks later she told me she was pregnant, and it was mine. Neither of us expected it, and neither of us felt ready to raise a child together. We were not in love and thought it would be better to go our separate ways with a clean slate. So we choose to have an abortion.

We gathered $400 from a friend and went to a clinic that prescribed us a pill. We drove to someone’s empty home where we would spend the night. I got her a glass of water to take the pill. I held her hand while she cramped and cried. I was there as we ended the life of our unborn child.

Some choices leave scars. Our abortion was one of those choices. In the years since our decision, I’ve often reflected on what happened that summer. It has changed me. It has given me more compassion toward those who face the fear of an unplanned pregnancy.

God has brought healing and shown forgiveness that I do not deserve. You can read more about that here. My experience with the abortion is one reason I often speak about the issue—even when I’m asked to stop speaking about it.

It Is Her Body

In recent days I have had conversations with several women who have challenged me to remain silent about abortion. I’ve been told, “it is a woman’s body, she has the right to choose what to do with it” and “you’re a man, you have no right to tell a woman what to do with her body.”

I am sensitive to their request. A woman’s body is given to her as a gift from God. It should never be touched in ways she does not permit. A man does not have the right to force her to use her body against her will. Her body is hers and that must be respected.

No man can truly understand the joys of pregnancy or the fears of an unexpected pregnancy. Men have their own related hopes and sorrows, but there is a unique way a woman hopes for her womb to be filled with life. There is also a unique sorrow women know when that life ends through miscarriage or the choice of abortion. As an old proverb says, “each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.”[1]

It’s Not Just Her Body

But the fact that it is a woman’s body does not capture the whole truth. When a woman becomes pregnant, her body is not just hers any longer. It now also belongs to her child. In the miracle of motherhood a living human being is conceived within her body and then attaches to the wall of her womb. It is within her, yet distinct from her. It is in her body, but it is not her body.

What is growing with in her is not merely a tumor or clump of cells that has the potential to be a baby. It is a baby. Some may push back on this, but it is scientifically dishonest to do so. The child in the womb has unique DNA, unique blood type, and every quality that makes us distinctly human. What is in her is a unique, living human being. The child has a detectable heartbeat between 5-6 weeks.

And we all know it is a living being. If we found on Mars what we find in the womb of a mother, we would certainly say we found life. And we all know it is a human. It can be scientifically proven that 100% of the time nothing other than a human will come out during birth. At the moment of conception, a living human begins to take up residency inside his or her mother.

God’s wonderful design is for a child to be united to his or her mother and receive protected housing as they grow and nourishment as they develop. This sacrificial love is part of what it means to be a mother. Any of us who are reading these words have known this divinely designed care, regardless of our birth circumstances. The mother’s body is her body, but it is not just her body. Her body has become the home to another, distinct human.

It’s Not Just Her Baby

This is where a father’s responsibility must be highlighted. While the woman’s body is her body, it is not just her baby. It is their baby.

Regardless of whether they planned to have a child together or not, it is their baby. Regardless of whether the father desires to be responsible for his choices or not, it is their baby. This is true of every pregnancy, including the one I chose to take part in ending. When we had our abortion, it wasn’t my body, but it was my baby.

Please hold back any desire to roll your eyes here. There are few things more precious than a father’s love. This is one of the reasons the world has fallen in love with Jack and Randall from the hit show This Is Us. There’s something in us that want fathers like Jack and Randall; or if we are fathers, we want to be like them.

This is also why the Internet celebrated the father who charged a disgraced doctor who sexually assaulted his three daughters. The importance of fathers resonates within us all. Those who had wonderful fathers celebrate them and those who did not know the ache that is left behind.

Abortion is not just about a mother’s choice. It is also about a father’s responsibility. By perpetuating the lie that men need to stay out of the discussion about abortion—because it is a woman’s body—is not only untrue, it is catastrophic for generations to come.

What we need is a generation of young men who honor ladies by helping them protect the precious gift of their sexuality as it was intended to be.

We need a generation of young men who will not treat women like objects, but honor them with decency and respect.

We need a generation of young men who will not walk away when they get a woman pregnant or pressure a woman to end their child’s life.

We need a generation of men who will love their unborn children and go the utmost lengths to encourage the mother to have their baby. They must be willing to help raise the child or place it for adoption.

We also need a generation of women who will encourage men to take responsibility and show the sacrificial love and empathy that ought mark men, not push them out of the conversation about abortion.

Though abortion uniquely affects women, it is not only about women. It is also about the child in her womb, and the child’s father.

The tragedy was not found in the celebrations or concessions of elected officials. It was not colored red or blue, and it wasn’t rooted in the dark cloud that hung over this scandalous political season.

The tragedy I’m speaking of is far more grievous.

You see, in this land of the free and home of the brave, there were many people whose ballots were not cast. Their convictions were silenced. Their opinions were not expressed. Their voices were not heard.

Why not?

Because they were dead.

The great tragedy of the 2016 election is that roughly 31,103,051 million would-be voters are not with us because they were murdered through abortion. That means from 1973-1998 roughly 31 million babies had their right to live taken from them by their own parents. Of those, over one third were African Americans, the very people abortion was designed to extinguish.

This is an unspeakable tragedy.

They didn’t get to cast a vote for the first woman president or the political outsider or write in another candidate. They didn’t get to make a stand against racial injustice or make a stand for integrity. They were robbed of watching results come in with their friends. They weren’t allowed to rest their heads on a pillow in the land of the free.

That is a great tragedy. But the tragedy isn’t over.

Why?

Because over 3,000 babies will be aborted today; and each day leading up to Tuesday November 8th, 2020. In the 3 minutes it takes you to read this post, approximately 7 babies will have been aborted in the United States of America. Their voices will be silenced. Their freedom not experienced. Their opportunity to be brave not known.

Close to Home

This is a tragedy that hits close to home for me. When I was 19, I chose to end the life of my first child through an abortion. My friend and I were in a scary place, we didn’t plan to get married, and we felt we had nowhere else to go. So we chose to end the life of our child.

My child would be 20 today. He or she would be off at college or working hard at their craft. They’d be praying for God’s grace on our land and working to make the world a better place.

But, they won’t be doing any of that. I won’t be sitting down with them and explaining how to think about policies and the candidates that represent them. I won’t be able to tell them about freedom and justice for all. I took that freedom away with my injustice.

I cannot undo what I’ve done in the past. None of us can. Only Jesus, who shed His blood for sinners like me can heal those wounds. Jesus gives us great hope in the midst of this tragedy, and all the other tragedies we face in this life.

Refuge in Jesus

If you have committed an abortion, I want you to know that there is a refuge in Jesus. He will heal your wounds. There is no sin so great that He cannot forgive and no sin so small that does not need to be forgiven. If you will confess your sins and turn to Him in faith, He will wash away all your guilt and all your shame. Listen to and believe this promise from Him, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 10:28).

If you support abortion, I want you to know that I do not demonize you. I too have felt the fear of an unplanned pregnancy. I too have known the tidal wave of confusion that swirls around. My encouragement to you would be to pray and ask God to show you if abortion is something that pleases Him or not. I know this may seem odd, but the reality is that God cares about everything we think, do, and say in this life.

I realize you have your reasons for supporting abortion; I did too. But I encourage you to take the time to read what God says about life and who has the right to give and take it away. If you’d be open to reading what the Bible says about abortion, you can read this.

Difficult Choice

If you are a Christian, be patient with those who view things differently than you. But don’t just be patient; speak truth in love to those who are in need. Find ways to help those who are struggling through unplanned pregnancies. Investigate options for adoption and invest in the lives of those who are facing difficult choices.

Today I looked at a picture of a 6-year-old boy at a football game. He’s a 6-year-old boy who nearly wasn’t with us today because of the difficult place his mother found herself in. She was unmarried, pregnant, and scared. But my wife met with her and prayed with her and took her to a Christian doctor who showed her the heartbeat of the baby in her womb. That young mother had the courage to keep her child.

That young boy’s smile reminds me that God can save children, one at a time. But God does this by using His people to come alongside those who are struggling and lovingly showing them the Christ who can walk them through any terrifying situation, even an unplanned pregnancy.

I believe that the only hope to turn the trend of this tragedy around is for people to turn their hearts toward the God who made them through the way paved by His Son Jesus. Jesus changes hearts, and changed hearts change a nation. May God give grace to us as a country, and may God give us courage to stand up in the midst of this tragedy so that, if the Lord tarries, we might see this kind of tragedy come to an end.

On Sunday, October 16, Planned Parenthood celebrated “100 years of healthcare services.” The group’s celebration trended on social media, and was even joined by both President Obama and the Democratic nominee, Hillary Clinton.

For many, the work of Planned Parenthood is truly a reason to rejoice. The group provides assistance to women who exercise their “right” to end the existence of a developing baby in their womb. This service that helps women “determine their own lives” is seen as an ultimate good, and therefore a reason to celebrate.

Last year, an Advocacy Board that advises Planned Parenthood even went so as to say that nation’s largest abortion provider is “doing God’s work” and the group released a “pastoral letter” claiming that the Bible says nothing about abortion.

Here’s the direct quote from that letter, “many people wrongly assume that all religious leaders disapprove of abortion. The truth is that abortion is not even mentioned in the Scriptures — Jewish or Christian — and there are clergy and people of faith from all denominations who support women making this complex decision.”

As many celebrate the existence of Planned Parenthood, it is important for us to consider whether or not heaven would join in the jubilee. The fact that something is popular, and even endorsed by powerful people, does not make it right. What matters most is whether or not God is pleased with it.

Since abortion is an issue that is near to my heart, I thought I’d take a moment to consider whether Planned Parenthood’s 100 years of existence should be celebrated or not. As you read these Scriptures and consider what you see, ask God to show you if it is true—because in the end what He thinks is what matters most.

Abortion in the Bible

Though the Bible doesn’t mention the word “abortion,” it clearly teaches that abortion is a terrible sin against another person. These are not all the verses we could consider, but they are a few that best capture what the Bible says about this all important issue.

Exodus 21:22–25 “When men strive together and hit a pregnant woman, so that her children come out, but there is no harm, the one who hit her shall surely be fined, as the woman’s husband shall impose on him, and he shall pay as the judges determine. 23But if there is harm, then you shall pay life for life, 24eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, 25burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.”

Does the Bible seem to clearly teach here that what comes out of a woman is a not just a fetus, but is a child? How serious does God say it is to kill an unborn child? If this is true of an accidental injury to a pregnant woman and her child, how much more serious is an intentional act of killing a child in the womb?

Ecclesiastes 11:5 “As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.”

If God sends a “spirit” to come into a woman to produce a child, does that not show that what is inside her is living? If God says, I want a child in that womb, do we have the right to tell God “no, You may not do that, I will take that living thing out of me?”

Job 10:10–12 “Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese? 11You clothed me with skin and flesh, and knit me together with bones and sinews. 12You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit.”

What happens when sperm and egg unite in what we call conception? Is that not life? If you can detect a heartbeat (5-8 weeks after conception) does that not mean there is something living there? Where do skin, flesh, bone and sinews form? Are they not made in the womb? If we found all of this on another planet, would we not celebrate that we have found life there?

Psalm 139:13–16 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. 14I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 15My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (cf. Job 31:15; Isaiah 44:2)

What do you think the Bible is implying when David says God “formed” his “inward parts” in his “mother’s womb?” What does it imply when it says he was “wonderfully made” and “intricately woven”? Does this not imply that God is at work in the womb, creating a human being? If God knows “all the days” of that being, even while its substance is “unformed”, does that not imply that God has a plan for that being in the womb? Do we have the right to tell God to stop this marvelous work because we have other plans?

Isaiah 49:1 “Listen to me, O coastlands, and give attention, you peoples from afar. The Lord called me from the womb, from the body of my mother he named my name.”

If God calls and names someone when they are in the womb, does that not make them a living person?

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” (cf. Galatians 1:15)

If God has knowledge of someone as a person before they are even formed in the womb, does that not show that what is in the womb has great value and worth? Does not God forming someone in the womb show His intent to bring a life along to His designed end?

Amos 1:13 “I will not revoke the punishment, because they have ripped open pregnant women.”

Why does God see the ripping open of a pregnant woman’s womb as such a big deal? How is this different than His anger toward someone who would kill a woman who isn’t pregnant? Could it be that they would be killing two people?

Luke 1:39–44 “In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, 40and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. 41And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, 42and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! 43And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.”

What does the Bible say was in the womb of Elizabeth? Does it not call John a “baby?” And what does that baby do when it hears the voice of the pregnant Mary? Does it not say the baby leaped for joy? And what does she say about the “fruit” of Mary’s womb (see also Psalm 127:3)? Does this not imply that what is in her is of value and has great worth? From this don’t we have to conclude that what is in her womb is a baby?

After looking a just a few verses, it is overwhelmingly clear that God views what is in the womb of a woman at conception to be a life, a baby, a human being like you and me.

The Bible also teaches that taking the life of another person (murder) is a grievous sin. In Exodus 20:3 God says “you shall not murder” (cf. Genesis 9:5; Matthew 5:21; 19:18; Romans 13:9; 1 John 3:15).

To end a life is to kill it. We may want to phrase it differently, but an “abortion,” a “choice to not keep the baby,” to “terminate a pregnancy,” are all clearly ending a life. This is murder. The Bible forbids this because it teaches that God alone has the right to give life and take it away (Deuteronomy 32:39; 1 Samuel 2:6; Job 1:21).

God also says that when his people have murdered their children, that it is a great sin in His eyes (Leviticus 20:2; Deuteronomy 12:31; 2 Kings 16:3, 21:6; Jeremiah 7:31, 32:35).

Whether or not one believes the Bible is another matter, but to suggest that the Bible allows abortion is deceptive. One of the earliest Christian documents The Didache (circa A.D. 100) says “You shall not murder a child by abortion.” Christians have always believed that God does not give us permission to take the life of our children. He gives, we may not take away.

So does God celebrate with Planned Parenthood? He does not. Rather, He weeps over it. God loves people and He loves the children in mother’s wombs. He is the One who creates life, and He is the One to whom all of us must look when we find ourselves in situations we never planned for.

If you are considering an abortion and feel like you have no other options, please know there are people who can help you. They can connect you with loving families who would be willing to discuss adoption. I know a family who is waiting by the phone right now to adopt a child, even the one in your womb.

If you feel that you have no where to turn, please know that Planned Parenthood isn’t your only option. God has other options that are worth celebrating. I plead with you to reach out to a faithful local church near you, we can help you find one (info@delraybaptist.org) or email outreach@assistcpc.org who can connect you to someone in your area.

Please know that God meets us where we are in our journey, and He does this through His Son Jesus. If you find yourself weary, hear this word of promise from the Lord Himself, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Please turn to the Lord in this season of great decision and allow Him to give you the grace we all desperately need.

In recent days, numerous videos have been released that show conversations between undercover investigators and representatives at Planned Parenthood. These taped discussions center around how body parts from aborted babies are being harvested and preserved for sale to biotech companies.

While there certainly should be political and legal discussions about these events, the most important question we must always ask is, “what would Jesus say about it?” What follows are just a few things He would certainly say.

Jesus would say, I made those babies, just like I made you.

For some, it is difficult to imagine that what is in the womb is more than the developing cells of a fetus. But God wants us to know, that at the moment of conception, a baby is given life. Deep down, we all know this to be true.

If what is found in the womb was found on another planet, scientists would certainly claim they had discovered life. What is in the womb is a living human being. It is a baby, growing under the direction of God.

You were once in this state of being “under divine construction.” You were given unique DNA and a beating heart. You were fed in the womb by your mother, just as God designed. One Biblical author said it this way, “You formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:13–14).

The same is true of the babies who were killed through the abortion in which you participated. God made those hands that grasped at the forceps. He created those hearts that raced as you carefully crushed around them. Those legs that you kept intact were made by God to run and play, maybe with your own son or daughter.

When a pregnancy is terminated, it is not merely a medical procedure. What you took from the womb of that mother is not just a collection of neural tissue or cell specimens. A life that God was creating was ended—violently and unjustly, by you. All lives matter to God, even the smallest, weakest, and most vulnerable ones.

Jesus would say, if you thought you were doing good by helping others, be terrified.

Some will claim that harvesting tissue from aborted fetuses is the means to a greater good. They will suggest that with this research more lives can be saved and steps toward ending horrible diseases can be made. This line of reasoning must be seen for what it is.

In Matthew 6:23 Jesus says, “If the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!” What that means in this case is that if you think that darkness (the killing of an unborn baby to sell its body parts) is actually light (the good of helping humanity), then you are deeply deceived.

Why do you really take part in this business? Is it really the pursuit of the greater human good?

How much does the desire for money and what it can get you motivate the way you justify your actions? We are all warned, “the love of money is the root of all sorts of evil” (1 Timothy 6:10). It is difficult to watch those videos and read the reports and believe that the love of money is not leading to all sorts of evils—even killing and selling off baby body parts. Take a quiet moment and ask God to show you why you are doing what you are doing.

Jesus would say, these videos don’t even begin to show the horror of what has really happened.

There is a reason those videos were shot undercover. You know why, and so does everyone else. You never would have spoken openly to the world about what you were doing, would you? And why not? Because deep down you know it isn’t just illegal, but it is wrong.

Your conscience testifies to you that something is wrong with what you are doing. You may have tried to suppress this truth, but did you not feel queasy the first time you saw a tiny person’s body parts laying before you? The videos were not able to catch the way you pushed down that feeling and pressed on with your procedure. But God saw it.

“No creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account” (Hebrews 4:13). God sees all the conversations an undercover video does not catch. And He sees all your reasons and justifications for taking the life of a child that could not defend itself against your strength.

God hates all evil, especially the evil of oppressing helpless people. Hear this warning from the prophet Isaiah, “Woe to those who…withhold justice from the oppressed…What will you do on the day of reckoning…to whom will you run for help?” (Isaiah 10:1-3). No one can hide from a good God who will not allow any evil to go unaddressed.

Thankfully, He has provided a place to run—for people like you, and people like me.

Jesus would say, that no matter how many babies you’ve killed, there is grace for you.

I’m sure you have heard hate-filled messages from people who oppose what you do. I do not bring you a message of hate, but one of warning and love. It is the message of a Savior who came to rescue murderers like you, and like me (Luke 19:10).

You see, I am a murderer too. Many years ago, I was part of an abortion that killed my first child. My friend and I were overwhelmed and confused, just like many of the people you deal with on a daily basis. Because I loved my life the way it was and I didn’t want the responsibility of a baby, I chose to murder my own child.

You and I are murderers. This is a horrible evil, but it is certainly not our only evil. We have turned away from God in many ways. But the good news that comes from God is this: “where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more” (Romans 5:20). Jesus came and died willingly to take the judgment you and I deserve for the ways we have sinned against God, and against those we have killed.

You may have horrible memories from some of the things you’ve done. The smell of rubber gloves. The forceps. The blood…so much blood.

While Jesus gives healing to people in different ways, I can assure you of this—if you come to Christ, He will help you. He gives this precious promise to sinners like us, “come to Me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Jesus shed His blood so that He can wash the blood from our hands. He rose to be the Savior of sinners like us.

Hear and believe these promises—

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”Isaiah 1:18

“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out…” Acts 3:19

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:8-9

If you will come to Jesus and confess what you have done and ask Him to forgive you—He will do it. You will have the hope of being with God, and with the children we murdered, in heaven forever.

Jesus would say, stop taking babies lives and begin saving them.

There is a holocaust happening in our land. Up to this point you have been a part of it. Now it is time to work against it. You know what is happening to those children, and the Lord calls you to do something about it.

“Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, “but we knew nothing about this,” does not He who weighs the heart perceive it?…Will He not repay each person according to what he has done?” (Proverbs 24:11–12).

God has given you wisdom and experiences and skills that He intends you to use to save babies rather than hurt them. This is what Jesus calls repentance. He calls you to turn from using your hands to hurt children, and now do all in your power to help them.

I have a dear friend who performed countless abortions before God changed his life. I will never forget the day he took me aside and confessed what he had done and committed to follow Christ and never do it again. He once used his practice to help mothers end lives, but now he uses it to help mothers save the lives of their children.

Leaving the life you are in right now may seem daunting, but God will help you. There will be lost friendships. Many people will not understand why you would make such a change. What others will say does not matter.

“I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed. I’m so sick of keeping these words contained. I am not ashamed.” – Leyla Josephine

Leyla publicly shared her story about abortion, so I thought I would publicly share my thoughts with her. I hope these words are received with the grace they are intended to convey. If you have not seen her video, you can view it here, but be warned there are a few expletives in her presentation.

Leyla-

I recently watched your “I Think She Was a She” poem and think you are a gifted spoken word artist. I have several friends who do spoken word poetry and I’d encourage you to check out this poem by Blair Linne whom I trust you’ll agree is gifted as well.

Having these kinds of discussions publicly is a challenge. They are much better done over coffee with people you know and trust, but since you have chosen all to hear you, I assume it is acceptable to reply in this way. I’ve laid out a few questions for you to ponder and my wife and I are happy to discuss them with you if you would be willing.

Why did you share your story?

You say “this is my story and it won’t be written in pencil and erased with guilt. It will be written in pen and spoken with courage.”

We all have a story to tell and I think you are a skillful storyteller. You have a unique ability to use words that draw listeners into your pain, your confidence, and your ideas.

Have you considered why you want to tell your story? I’m not talking about your desire to encourage women to feel unashamed for decisions they make. I’m referring to reason behind that reason.
In your poem, you mention life being “His-story.” I’m not sure if you are making a reference to God or to man-centered history, but I would suggest that God is the reason you want to tell your story. In the Bible, we see that God is the great Storyteller and our lives are all part of that story.

God tell us that we are each made in His image. This truth is reflected in your passion to communicate your story to others. The Bible also says that all of our stories are filled with pain and suffering because of our turning away from God. That’s why life is so difficult and despairing at times.

The story of the Bible also calls us to look up from our suffering and see that God came into the world to liberate us through His Son, Jesus. Jesus is the great rescuer of rebels like us. He died on a cross and rose from the dead and will soon return to receive those who love Him.

Lelya, have you ever considered that God’s story is what gives your story, and my story, meaning? You said that if your daughter were here “she would have wondered about all the things that came before.” What a wonderful thing to ponder!

If you have never read the story of Jesus, I would encourage you to. In it you will find answers to that question and many more. I suspect you might be amazed at God’s story of love in the Bible.

What does it mean to be a woman?

I am not a woman, but I am married to a woman and have two young daughters. As a pastor, I also help give guidance to many women who desire to know who God made them to be. Because of this, I was perplexed by what you said about being a woman.

You said “This is my body. I don’t care about your ignorant views. When I become a mother, it will be when I choose.” Is being a woman really about having a right to choose what you want to do with your body?

Leyla, I do think you have rights over your body. You should be able to say “no” when you don’t want someone to touch your body or “yes” when you want them to. But this isn’t just a woman’s issue. It is a human issue. My sons have the right to tell someone “no” and “yes” just as much as my daughters do.

But the question that I have been wrestling with from your video is, do you really want to communicate to the world that being a woman means you have the freedom to use your body to do whatever you want, including taking the life of your daughter?

Leyla, this is the heart of your message. You say “I am woman now. I will not be tamed.” Do you really think that the supreme expression of being a woman is the freedom to use your body to stop the development of your daughter’s body?

Doesn’t being a woman of “courage” mean that you will accept responsibility of your actions for the good of others? Shouldn’t liberated women own their right and responsibility to use their bodies to love, protect, and care for others?

I certainly hope you don’t think that being a woman means that you are free to do anything you want, including sacrificing your child on the alter of your convenience. Saying to your daughter that I’m sorry I had to end your life, but you “came at the wrong time” does not sound like liberation toward love. Please don’t buy the lie that being a woman is about freedom to kill others. That isn’t what it means to be a woman, or a man.

Why not mutter murder on you?

“Don’t you mutter murder on me,” you requested.

Why would you not call what you did murder?

You said, “I had to carve down that little cherry tree that had rooted itself in my blood and blossomed in my brain. A responsibility I didn’t have the energy or age to maintain. The branches casting shadows over the rest of the garden.”

Is not a tree that has been planted and is blossoming alive?

What happens when you chop down that tree?

She had roots in your womb. She was blossoming. She was looking for you to maintain her. You said, “she could have been born.”

Please hear your own words.

Did you not stop a life from continuing?

What do you call that if you do not call it murder?

I do not ask you all these questions to paint you into a corner, but to urge you to step into the light and see what you have done. When someone stops another’s life, it is murder.

I do not share these weighty words with you as some self-righteous bystander screaming from the sidelines. I share them with you as a fellow human who also misused my right to choose. I too took the life of my own child. If you care to hear about my story, you can read more about it here.

Do you know the story of hope for people like you and me?

Leyla, I do not write these words to heap condemnation on you. Rather, I write them to point you to the story of hope about Jesus.

You said “I would have supported her right to choose. To choose a life for herself, a path for herself. I would have died for that right, just like she died for mine. I’m sorry but you came at the wrong time.”

The good news found in the Bible is that Jesus gave up His rights as God’s Son to come and lovingly surrender His rights to life so that we might have the “right to become children of God” when we believe in Him (John 1:12). The Bible says He came at “just the right time” to take our judgment on the cross and rise from the dead to now extend forgiveness and healing for all who will come to Him (Romans 5:6).

Jesus’ story is the story that gives your story and my story and every other person’s story hope. Leyla, God will forgive you for what you have done if you will draw near to Jesus in faith (Romans 10:9-13; 1 John 1:8-9). He will give you a new heart that loves Him and loves others.

So pray to God. Tell Him what you’ve done. Tell him you hardened your heart against your daughter. Tell Him you chopped her down. Tell Him you have called others to not feel guilt in doing the same kind of thing. Please, cry out and tell Him.

God will hear you if you truly seek Him (Jeremiah 29:13). This good news will give you something that you can truly be unashamed of because “it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16).

Leyla, my hope for you is the same hope that I have for myself—that you will become unashamed of God who desires to give you new life. If you do turn from your sin and walk in that new life, you will begin a new chapter in your story. He will transform your story from being one that unashamedly takes life to one who unashamedly receives life and forgiveness from Him.

Please consider these words. My wife and I are happy to speak with you off line if you are willing.