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14 December 2011

Whenever I hear the phrase "the advancement of women in trades", I cringe just a little. But I appreciate that we need phrases like this to define who the organization is and what it is that they do. I believe the term is outdated and oversimplified but I continue to use it because it is simple. The reality is that I work for the advancement of the trades so that we can be meet the demands of a changing world. It really is time to have a conversation about sex, gender, and culture so that we can design programs that work for today's market.

I always enjoy telling the story of the trades. It was designed for men by men to serve the needs of that homogeneous group. Women have attempted more recently to make inroads but with limited success. Let's put this into context in our day to day lives. In my tradition, born of centuries of Newfoundland women, the woman is in charge of the care work and the cooking work and so the kitchen is designed with her in mind. I don't know about you but if you move my spices around, I might get a little irritated. We don't like change. I respect that there are men who enjoy the care work and the kitchen but traditionally it's been a woman's domain (at least from where I sit).

Sex is easy to define - if you've got the right junk, you know that you're a man or a woman with a few variations that are becoming more mainstream today. But for the ease of discussion, let's keep it at the level of male/female. I give respect to anyone who does not identify as either and appreciate your journey.

Historically, there have been men in the trades who were not of the "macho" style but they assimilated because being yourself and different than the dominant group is a challenge for people. It takes work to swim against the current and sometimes it's easier to throw in the towel. In the industry, the term men has has been narrowly defined to mean "macho" but the industry is changing and that definition is changing - it is not so narrowly defined anymore because other voices are gaining momentum and they will not be stifled.

The point is that defining people is challenging regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. GI Joe and Barbie don't quite capture my notion of what it means to be either in the modern context.

Gender on the other hand is a more complex set of characteristics. The term that is used is MASCULINE AND FEMININE. Look at the list below to see what they meant.

These lists are not inclusive nor are they negative or positive. The masculine characteristics were often said to be seen in men and the feminine characteristics were often said to be seen in women. There is also a nature/nurture debate that begs the question of whether we are born this way or our environments shape us. Regardless of who wins, the reality is that we are more diverse as people. But are we as different as people might want to convince us?

If you are like many of us - you may say (maybe not out loud) that you fall into the other category. I know that I have tendencies that are more masculine than feminine. I know some remarkable men and emerging leaders who gladly accept that they have traits that are more feminine.

Let's treat gender like a spectrum with the masculine qualities on the left and the feminine on the right - now I will pose the question - Which gender are you? Don't peak at your vagina or penis - pretend that you are blind to your sex. Who are you really?

With this information, is it plain to see that being a woman is much more complicated than we at first thought?

So when we design programs that are intended to advance women's participation in non-traditional places, we need to ask a different question. What kind of woman are you? What kind of organization are you entering - what kind of men are there?

The word culture is another factor that shapes how we think about ourselves - often the culture does not support a distinction based on gender but only based on sex. It's important that we know about culture.

We are moving away from assimilation to a model of accommodation where we must ask the tough questions.

Are you masculine or feminine?Is the culture one that supports gender diversity?What supports does the organization need to adapt to a changing world?We can't unlearn what we know about the world - it's impossible.

When people ask what it is that I do - I say I'm a Diversity Strategist who works for the advancment of the trades. The issue is larger than a woman's issue? The dialogue has changed and so the solutions must also change.

15 November 2011

There's a popular saying about "going where no man has gone before" and it's always resonated with me because I've enjoyed going where no one like me has gone before and it hasn't always been easy.

Boldly stepping outside the prescribed places that society, people, and myself have thought I should occupy, I learned so much about the world. I learned that I am a survivor. I get broken and bruised and smashed around a bit on occasion but at the end of the day I dust off, stand up, try again. It's called living.

Disheveled Debbie - that's me. I've learned most of what I've learned about diversity as part of diversity initiatives. I like to refer to it as the "pointy end" of diversity. I was a mechanic in the military without a role model. I worked in many jobs where I was the first woman to take on that role and sometimes I surprised myself as much as I surprised others.

Disability doesn't stop me as I push the limits of what that means for a person. I went to law school and learned very important lessons the hard way. I thought it would do me in. But in true spirit, I picked myself up and one day I said - where's the lesson - what can I tell others about stepping out and going where no woman, no single mom, no rural Newfoundlander from a family without privilege has gone before. I'm able to do that - bring those lessons to others who may want to step out. They don't need to reinvent the wheel although adults love learning from doing. Maybe an ounce of prevention will be a pound of cure.

My new book - with a temporary title about the "pointy end of diversity" is all about sharing those lessons. I'm going to traditionally publish it and self publish at the same time. I've started speaking about the chapters and informing others about diversity and courage. I love the direction my career is taking me and I am also inspired by other people's response to what I do.

Stay tuned for some of those stories as I travel through this next leg and thanks for your support.

26 August 2011

Have you ever felt envy? Envy is not a very nice feeling to have. Envy is a resentful or unhappy feeling of wanting what somebody else has – their success, their good fortune, qualities or possessions.

We’ve all had periods in our lives when things aren’t going as well as we would like them to. For some of us, we might have several areas where this might be happening. I know that I have wished at times that I had the life that other people have had. It’s quite normal to feel this way – we must be careful however that we don’t let envy take over our lives and drag us into a painful pit.

Take a coin out of your pocket and look at it – on one side is heads and on the other is tails. Think of envy in terms of the coin. Picture envy as one side of the coin and love as the other side. You know that a coin only sits on one side at a time and if that side is the side of envy, the side of love is blocked. But fear not, there is hope – learn to move away from envy and toward love.

STEP 1 – ACKNOWLEDGE THE PROBLEM

The first step is to acknowledge envy – don’t judge it. I’ve found that when I acknowledge that I have a problem, change is just around the corner. It’s what happens next that really defines who you are.

If you were raised in a family where your needs were not met, you may feel envious of your friends who appeared to have better lives. Maybe you look at other families and see them as loving and kind because of the things that they do. You may envy the fact that their friends dad shows up at their soccer games while you not only have to go alone but also have to find a ride. Maybe they have wonderful holiday get togethers while in your house things are less stable. This is often the case where there is a lot of alcohol abuse for example and it is made even worse if money that could be used for food is used to support a drinking habit. You might be envious of the family that seems to be more stable.

I spoke with a child recently who was envious of her best friend who had often taken vacations to Disney and other exciting places and she had never had a vacation in her life. In cases like this, we can see why people engage in envy. The list of things to be envious about is endless and can go on forever –your reasons are unique to you.

Acknowledge that you’re envious.

STEP 2 – TIME TO GET DIGGING

You’ve acknowledged that you’re envious and realize that you recognize that it is not serving you well and you are ready to stop. Like most change – it takes work, but this is work that will produce such positive results that you’ll be glad to do the work. I like to use a gardening analogy.

The Sumac tree is a tree in Nova Scotia that is a lovely piece of foliage and it is best planted at the edge of your property because it has a massive route system and tends to take over the garden. I had a Sumac tree growing in my front lawn very near my front door and it was unsightly. It had not been cared for and the roots were travelling very near the surface with small shoots every couple of feet. I decided to take it out.

When I started, the job was a lot more difficult than I thought. Every time I thought I had it all pulled out, another little plant would sprout up 20 feet from the original tree. I’d start again pulling it out.

Clearing envy out of your life is like taking out the Sumac – it takes work and you may not realize how deep or broad the envy has spread in your life. But after a bit, you see the progress and there are less and less instances of it. Keep acknowledging the envy, don’t judge and then pull it out.

STEP 3: START PLANTING AGAIN

“Nature abhors a vacuum.” I removed those roots, had to replace it with rich soil and grass seed while tending to and nurturing the new growth of healthy lawn. Envy is the same – you take it out, remove it from your life and replace it with love. Love is easy and involves caring for yourself and others in balance.

Look at the blessings in your own life that you may have overlooked while you were in envy mode – you may not have material possessions but there is so much richness in our lives that has nothing to do with materialism. Are you a good friend? Do you bring joy to others? Is your sense of humour bringing happiness into someone’s life. Don’t under estimate the riches you already have.

Envy is a poison that needs to be removed and replaced with healing, nurturing love. Take the time to acknowledge it, remove it and replace it with life giving love. You won’t be sorry.

18 August 2011

The big news in our family is that my sister, Brenda, the first and only woman cement finisher in the Bricklayers and Allied Craftworkers Union in Newfoundland was hired to work at the Long Harbour site. That in and of itself is a wonderful thing. Add to this the fact that she has been promoted to foreperson within a short timeframe and we have reason to celebrate.

This past week - the local union president along with the International president came onsite to meet her face to face and did a photoshoot while they were there. They could not confirm it but they speculated that there may not have been a woman foreperson in the BAC in Canada. If there has been - I stand corrected.

Promotions of this variety may be well received by some but not so much by others. There are people who will say that she is only a "token" and that she didn't get promoted on her own merit - I beg to differ. My sister is a fantastic people manager and well suited to the role of foreperson - she has a tremendous amount of respect for people from all walks of life and she knows her job. Just like any other person, male or female when they step into leadership positions, she will face challenges. But like all other workers, she can lean on her colleagues and co-workers to fill in gaps. That's the sign of a great leader - she doesn't need to know everything, she needs to maximize her resources.

To those who might want to be skeptical about her ability - my advice to Brenda and women in general is this "Choose to tune them out."

They will have very little impact on your life and you're wasting precious energy if you worry about what others might think. You have made history in NL. It's a big task and I already see you growing into your new role. You never cease to amaze me and like a lot of women - you're coming into your own and beginning a new journey. When others are winding down, you're just winding up. You're a fabulous role model for the girls out there who wonder if they can do it. Way to go gal.

16 August 2011

One of the best lessons that I have had to learn in life is that setbacks are temporary - not only are they temporary, they can also come with valuable lessons. It is a tough lesson to learn and one that you will find very valuable. Setbacks are not the end of the journey in life even though people, myself included, may want to give up when you encounter one. They are temporary and if we can learn to manage a setback well - we can still achieve our goals and live a full and rewarding life.

The law of attraction states that your thoughts are powerful and they determine what you acomplish in life. We many all recall the story of the little engine who said "I think I can, I think I can." Even as children we were being taught that our mind is a powerful tool. Setbacks can produce negative thinking patterns and these are what interferes with our progress - not the setback itself but how we think about the setback.

A very clear example concerns losing weight - I've set a goal to lose 50 lbs in 2 years. I had a bit of a setback recently where I lost my motivation for a week or so. In past, I would have taken this slip from the wagon as evidence that I "don't have what it takes." or that "I'm never going to lose weight." or any number of excuses that would have lead me to quit the journey.

But in my role as lifecoach, I often tell people what I needed to tell myself - this was a setback, not the end of the road. I can get back up, learn from the setback, and move forward again. I know the steps to take to get back on course.

First, understand that setbacks are a normal part of the journey. The journey is not a linear path from A to Z. It is more like a series of advances and retreats and tweeking to get where you want to go. Setbacks often come with valuable lessons in life. Many a successful busines people have had to re-evaluate the path they were taking because of unforseen obstacles. Setbacks are normal.

Secondly, realize that setbacks are temporary and don't let your mind convince you otherwise. They're not here to stay - the cycle of life is always changing. If you start to let yourself believe that you "always" run into obstacles or that you are "never" going to achieve your goal - you run the risk of believing that you are helpless. I have first hand experience with this one - I can remember after I lost my drivers' license through vision loss - I had convinced myself that I "would never be happy again." That was a falsehood brought on by fear. This type of absolute thinking can lead to disaster and derail you permanently.

Finally, seek out resources to get you beyond stuck. If you're not moving forward, you may need help. Maybe a lifecoach or counsellor can help you to reflect upon your thought patterns and actions to see where it is that you're not working in your best interest.

Setbacks are a normal part of life. What we do with them makes the difference between success and stagnation - take charge of your life and take the necessary steps to ensure that you continue to move forward. Enjoy the journey...

8 August 2011

We bring about what we think about - that's what the Law of Attraction tells us. We all know that controlling what we think about is challenging on occasion especially when we have something that is bothering us. The Law of Attraction may be easy to understand but not so simple to put into practice. Anyone who has ever worried about how something negative is going to turn out will tell you how tough it is not to worry. But that is exactly what we need to do if we want it to turn out well.

That is why affirmations and other techniques are beneficial. They help us to remain focused on where it is we want to end up. The vision board is one of those wonderful tools that we can use in our lives to remain focused. A vision board is really a collection of images and phrases that serve to remind us of what life will look like when our dream comes true.

I did a workshop recently with a group of 5 people where we used the techniques described in Joyce Schwarz' book "The Vision Board: The Secret to An Extraordinary Life." There was much to be gained by doing the board in a group setting - it allowed us to talk about and fine tune our goals. The clearer the goal is the better. Sharing our goal with other supportive people helped us to develop some passion and feeling around what we were undertaking.

Thoughts, feelings and actions are what determines where we are headed. The vision board process allows us to get clear images, share positive feelings and plan a strategy to get where we need to be.

I display my vision board in a place where I am reminded often and I always feel good when I look at it. That feel good feeling is what we are striving for. It's the feel good feeling that will help us to achieve - the thought alone won't do it. It's the passion and feeling that you have for your future that will help it to become a reality.

Try a vision board, they're simple, affordable and fun to do in a group.

3 August 2011

A gentleman contacted me today because he had lost his license because of Macula Degeneration (an eye disorder) and he wanted to know how I adjusted to that loss. I was in my early 30s when I lost my license. He said that I made it look easy and I didn't seem to worry about it. He thought that I didn't seem to suffer much because of not driving.

I was reminded that we can never tell what is going on inside a person by looking at them. It was not an easy transition for me at all. It still has a negative impact on my life.

We expect that as part of the aging process, we will lose our ability to drive. This is almost a normal transition in aging. When you lose your ability to drive early in your career, it has much larger implications in my opinion.

Vision loss cost me my career and it is the gift that keeps on giving because it still gets in the way of the life that I want to live. I have made choices that I would never have made had I still been driving.

I was not a casual driver - I was, like this gentleman, a person who loved to drive and who depended on driving for entertainment purposes. Being a single mom without a driver's license has meant that my daughter could not have the life that her friends had. We never had the freedom of spontaneous travel and running to the store to pick up something was not a luxury we enjoyed. Our lifestyle was greatly compromised without a car. I will add that many people have no car but we had a car and we knew what it was to lose that luxury or some might say necessity in this day and age. My quality of life is not at the level that it would be if I drove. I didn't tell him all of that - he was not ready for that yet. It would come in time.

It may look like I don't mind on the outside but on the inside it is a continuing battle to adjust. Loss of any type requires that we go through a grieving process - the same as we would with the loss of a loved one. Losing your license is often trivialized until you have to go through it yourself. There isn't an area that is not impacted by my inability to drive.

So I told this gentleman that he has to make a choice to be ok with the new life but that he doesn't have to rush. Learn to grieve and that means embracing what is being lost. This man was an active man who operated machinery and drove a motor home - he won't have the same ability and choices - sugar coating it won't help anyone. But he has to come to terms with the new reality and when he accepts himself for who he is now, he will start to see that there are options in life that will bring him joy again. This won't happen overnight - it is a process that is more like the waves that come in the ocean - sometimes gentle and other times ferocious.

I've heard it said that it takes 2 years to transition to a new place and I think that is right. When we don't get the help we need, we end up in places that can add to our grief. I would advise him to take advantage of programs like CNIB Adjustment to Vision Loss, professional counselling and connecting with others who have gone through the same thing.

Family members and close friends need to be educated on the impact of vision loss so that they can appreciate the transition and know what needs to be done to help him through the tough period.

Losing the ability to drive is nasty - but there is a world without it once we learn to accept ourselves.

1 August 2011

My daughter is getting ready to head out on her summer vacation, a vacation that her and her 3 BFFs planned without the help of parents - a sign that we have done a real great job of raising our children or that we have lost our minds. They had a few snags along the way and as parents we marveled at how they stepped up and problem solved. I know that I was real proud of how these girls managed to get the logistics looked after.

Someone once said to me "If we raise our children well, we work ourselves out of a job." I found that quite profound, thought provoking and very true. I cherish my daughter and being a mom has been a rewarding and sometimes trying experience. I have always felt that my role in her life was to help her to grow into an independent adult who could look out for her own needs. This past year, I've seen her blossom into an amazing young woman who is willing to try new things and who has established wonderful relationships in her life. She has also become more comfortable speaking out about something that she disagrees with and I see in that the forming of values that will serve her well in life. I enjoy this because in my own generation children were not encouraged to think critically and challenge authority.

I think that like most parents we want our children to make good choices. We may also want to share some of our wisdom with them in the hope that their lives can be a little bit easier than ours was. On that note, every time I try and teach my daughter a lesson through my own experiences, I am humbled. I learned in my Adult Education training that we learn by doing and not by listening and I've seen that in my own life and I see it in my daughter. Children may take all that we say as gospel and internalize it (or not) but when they reach a certain age, they really do have the capacity to do it on their own. My daughter will learn now from her own experiences, trials and tribulations.

My advice to her is to take risk but be prepared before she does so. I encourage her to not live a sheltered life because I think that we grow by stepping out of our comfort zones. Get out there and engage in life. There is no end to learning in life so take every opportunity to do so. Remain broad minded and have conversations with people that you might never normally speak with. Be fascinated and curious about everything - that's living. When you fall down, get up and continue on in life and always remember - that mama is here for you. Nothing you can do can ever break that bond.

To all of you parents out there who see that day coming when the apron strings will need to be cut - remember this. Our children are not put here to keep us company. We give them roots and then give them wings. Hugz

18 July 2011

Now and again we run into an old friend and wonder why we ever lost touch. Sherry and I were so close when we were in our early twenties but for some reason, we drifted apart. Before running into her, I hadn’t given it much thought. But it all came flooding back to me – the social isolation that comes with having the courage to be different.

Separating From the Pack

Choosing to join the army and become a mechanic when I got out of high school was a great decision for a lot of reasons not the least of which was it gave me a steady income. There was a price to be paid for this decision to be different – one of the areas where we suffered some growing pains was in the relationship area. Not many of the women that I knew were doing anything that was not traditional. I had stepped outside the norm, I stepped way out. My choice to become a mechanic and the choice to join the military served to “separate me from the pack” so to speak and it was painful. The pain dulled but it was a tough go in the beginning.

Where Do I Belong?

Those early days were an emotional roller coaster on every front. We expected challenges in the workplace but we were not prepared for what might happen in our personal lives. Getting along with “the boys” became easier in time as we developed strategies for dealing with one another. For the most part, we developed a working relationship that often blossomed into friendship and mutual respect. I became “one of the guys” and sometimes even that was to my detriment.

The differences between me and my female friends who had chosen more traditional routes became more obvious over time. For example when we would get together over a meal or a night out, they mostly monopolized the conversation – there were more of them and only one me. They chatted about events that were happening in their lives around children, relationships and decorating new homes. I was still single, had no children and my days were filled with car parts and exciting excursions into the bush. There was never a right time to jump in on the conversation. I was pretty certain that they did not share my excitement around the trick I had developed to get the fuel pump in the car. Tying a string around my wrench to ensure that it didn’t fall into the flywheel opening paled in comparison to the smell of fresh washed linen. I often left those gatherings feeling disoriented. What was wrong with me? I also felt a little invisible as there was no place to share my experiences.

I enjoyed it when we planned a social outing with the co-workers and their spouses. But I’m not certain that I fit in any better there. The men were discouraged from chatting too much with me when the women were around and so that meant I had to sit with the ladies. Most of my stories were the ones that I shared with their spouses – they were already suspicious about that relationship and I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire by sharing a moment that I had shared with one of “the boys”. Talking about how we had covered one another’s ass at work would not have gone over well. The guys avoided me at these times too – not only because their wives gave them the evil eye but also because I wore a skirt and heels on occasion – it didn’t go well with the oil that never seemed to come out from under my nails but I liked the feminine side of myself. They looked at me like I was strange whenever I wasn’t in coveralls. Where the heck did I fit?

Oopsie!!

One night I went out on a date with 3 other couples – we were travelling home from the bar in two cars when our car broke down. My date was driving and he pulled up to the other car to get a boost. They were having some discussion about where to hook up the cables. I told my friend Sharon to move over into the driver’s seat as I went to show them what to do. I kicked off my shoes, grabbed the cables and hooked them up. I gave the universal signal to turn the engine over and when the car started I reached under the air filter and cranked the valve that operated the accelerator on the carb. When I turned around there were 7 eyes looking at me as I slammed the hood shut. It was kind of quiet as we drove home – a chilly climate has descended on us – I wasn’t that sexy as the lady that rescued her boyfriend. He never asked me out again…..Oopsie.

Looking back, the pain went away, but those times were tough and I felt all alone with no one to share in a very important part of me. We had no role models to tell us what to expect and to share in their own journey. We needed people who shared in our experiences and we needed to embrace our uniqueness – I hope that ladies today have it easier.

11 July 2011

a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.

I want to look a little closer at this definition in the context of women in trades. Let's start with the term "continuing process" - this could be an upbringing for example or the training that a soldier goes through to learn what is expected of them. Norms are the things that people normally do.

Let's look at this definition in terms of lived reality.....

My own upbringing (continuing process) in rural Newfoundland shaped who I was by the time I joined the army at age 17 to become a mechanic. By watching the adults around me, I learned that men worked outside the home, normally in construction and the women looked after the children, cleaned the house, did the homework, cared for the elderly and were never allowed to have the remote. OK, we didn't have a remote but you get the drift. That was my socialization process as a young child.

I experienced a new socialization process at age 17 when I joined the army to become a mechanic. In this new role (identity), I became a soldier and a non-traditional woman. Things were a whole lot different than they were back home. I don't think anyone ever said - she needs a new socialization but we were subjected to training that would see us adopt the identity of soldier.

I moved far away from home and stayed there for the next 10 years - it was a real eye opener for me to meet women whose upbringing had been totally different than mine. It was my first real notion that we were not all alike and our roles as women was different depending upon where we grew up and what your social status was. I met many women who were a lot more empowered than I was even though at the time I didn't have the language to understand what I was experiencing - that came later.

In the military, women fell into two camps - there were the people who came from the more rural areas who were known for their hard work and dedication. We rarely were outspoken or assertive. Then there were the women who were real outspoken - we referred to them as complainers and now that I'm an empowered woman - I respectfully correct that and call them great role models. They made a positive impact on me although at the time I didn't have the language to describe what I was experiencing.

Whenever there is a recruitment drive for non-traditional work or military service and unskilled labour, the target area is the poor. It makes sense to recruit from there because they need jobs and they're more than willing to put up with adverse work conditions. We see it replicated everywhere.

Labour shortage is a word that is heard often these days and that's a signal that more disadvantaged people will be mobilized into these positions. I have yet to see an equity program that includes women in a discussion about her socialization process. Those who design programs for women in trades often focus on nutrition, upper body strength and maybe exposure to the trades. But they fail to give women what they really need - a chance to reflect upon where they came from and where they are going.

I often tell people that if they were going to climb Mt. Everest, they would train and acclimtize for that environment - the same can be said for women entering the trades - there are norms here that we are not familiar with - learn what they are. Learn the norms that we've already bought into. Be courageous enough to challenge our own assumptions so that at the end of the day we can be tradeswomen and not just women in trades.

Back in my day we heard the men complain "Why do you get paid the same as I do but I have to tell you what to do?" This phrase speaks volumes about socialization. If a woman expects to get paid the same as a man gets paid, it's important that she be made aware of the expectation that she step up her game.

There's also another clear danger for women in trades brought on by lack of preparation - getting stuck in work that is traditionally women's work in the home. In the mechanic trade, that might mean doing service work - oil changes and preventive maintenance as opposed to the more choice work of diagnostics and percission rebuild. It happens all the time. It is done in a sneaky fashion also to make it look like they are doing you a favour by giving you the lighter work. Awareness goes a long way.

The remedy lies in new training - learning new ways of doing things.

Socialization is not a one time process - you can reinvent yourself at any point - it's a "continuing process" meaning that it is never completed - keep that in mind as you begin your new journey.

5 July 2011

You know that little voice in your head that pops up at the oddest times and decides to have a bit of a conversation with you. Well, mine dropped by today - while I was sitting on a panel at the Women's Worlds 2011 Conference listening to a fellow panelist. Out of the blue, this little voice said...

"Pssst, hey Debs....how the heck did we end up here?" Yes, the cheeky little chatterbox has the audacity to call me Debs. But we're kind of close so I allow it.

HOW DID I GET HERE????? Yikes!!!

I am part of a panel of three women.

Dr. Hei-Hui You from a university in Taiwan.Gendered Learning in Departments of Physical Education

Dr. Maria Teresa M Rubio from Guam, Five Women Leaders and Their Perceptions of Empowerment

and.....yep....me.The power of the narrative - I outlined my own journey in education as first an apprentice and then through university to finally land in a place where I am helping other women succeed in the non-traditional sector. I spoke about what I know - overcoming obstacles to get where we really want to be and I did it the only way I know how - with heart and Newfoundland humour. I have no desire to be all polished and proper as a speaker - I like to engage people to challenge their own assumptions and to get out of their own way to achieve what they want. In my experience, this type of work requires that you take off the gloves - the kid gloves I mean.

Work in the trades is very rewarding and in case you haven't heard, you can make a decent chunk of change there, but let's face it - we're not exactly always welcome. The gentle approach doesn't work all the time. Sometimes we have to spice it up. When I was at law school, I learned the term "The iron hand in the velvet glove" - I like this phrase a lot..that's what women are good at - delivering a powerful message with the gentleness of velvet - ok, so maybe you're not great at it yet, but you can be...right???? right??? Oh, ya...............

It was a great day - lots of knowledge, lots of fellowship and appreciation for one another's work. What a wonderful opportunity we have here - I'm honoured...yes, I am.

23 June 2011

I’m not a person that others would describe as “into fitness”. Actually, the contrary is true – I have not factored fitness into my schedule up to this point. I am a lady about town who does not own a car so I walk quite a bit more than the average person. This has invited comments of “I don’t know how you can have weight on – you walk all the time”. Maybe my nephew can answer this question – I know that there is a reason that makes sense but I’m not quite ready to teach fitness yet. Lol

My first step was to set a goal and I think that it is a realistic goal. I will turn 50 in two years and thought that a goal of 50 x 50 would work for me. It works out to ½ lbs a week and that is manageable and realistic for most people. If you’re 48, maybe you will join me in this journey. Come on now - consider it.

It was timely because my annual physical was due. The universe is kind to me – in spite of my weight – I am blessed with fabulous cholesterol levels, blood sugars and all of the other indicators of good health. My weight and in particular the fact that I gain belly fat, puts me in the risk category for diseases such as adult onset diabetes – Type 2. I consider myself blessed because I don’t have it yet. I do have low iron and will have that monitored over the next three months. There are many reasons why this might be possible. Diet being one of course. So with the nod from the doctor, I move on to the next step….

I really needed an exercise program that I would actually commit to. There are things that I love to do and when I begin them, I can’t put them down – I won’t list them here - exercise does not yet make it onto my list of favourite things to do. Signing up for Survivor or Boot Camp was not a way for me to “ease in” to fitness. On my own, I started implementing small things into my daily routine like climbing the stairs in my apartment building instead of taking the elevator and I started watching programs on cooking for better health. These were OK but I felt that I might enjoy a more structured routine so I went in search of a fitness program.

I know me better than anyone knows me - it had to be pretty simple and easily accessible. I knew that if I had to travel 30 more minutes on the bus to get there, it was not going to happen. Taking the bus all week long meant that I did not want to have to add more bus time because frankly it’s painful to bus in the summer.

The Universe was watching out for me – it’s becoming a trend. There’s a Goodlife Fitness in my community. It’s not one of the bigger gyms but it has everything that I could possibly need as a beginner. I joined and this week, I have gone 4 times. I think that it is a commitment that I can keep. I tried the Zumba, the Step class, the free weights on my own. I really enjoyed the group work even though coordination is a bit of a challenge. I won’t do steps again because I have trouble with depth perception and was not as graceful as I would have liked to be. It’s not easy being visually impaired and coordinated in this setting but people are very helpful. In my first class, Karen made sure that I had a spot where I could get a great vantage point.

On Saturday I will have my personal meeting with someone who will help me design a plan and check my progress on a regular basis. I know that my resting pulse is 88 which is not good. I’m glad that I know how to measure it now. I am looking forward to seeing what my measurements and weight are (yikes). I have a ball park figure in mind but putting the reality in your face is essential to success. I’ve succeeded in other areas and appreciate the benefit of honesty.

I will post weekly – good or bad – and invite you to return and post your own comments. It is my hope that those other ladies who are approaching 50 will join me in this journey – post your own remarks and share your successes and concerns.

19 June 2011

My first year of university was a real eye opener for me. I learned so many new terms and I kept my dictionary handy as I was continually encountering new terminology. One term that particularly intrigued me was “observational learning”.

Observational learning refers to how we have the ability to learn by observing other people. The obvious example for how it works is by looking at what happens during discipline. If a child watches a sibling be disciplined for something that the other child did wrong, the child that is watching learns to behave. The observing child does not have to break the rule – he/she learned by watching the other child. This is observational learning.

Some may say that this is a good thing – there’s an old saying “Learn from my mistakes – I’ve made enough of them.” This phrase captures how observational learning works. Observational learning can be very good but it also has a shadow side.

If children are always learning from what they observe, we know as adults that sometimes what they are learning are not great lessons. There area often times when what children observe is unhealthy behaviour in adults. A very good example is with children who grow up in homes where alcoholism is prevalent. If one parent is an alcoholic, the other parent can often be co-dependant and the child will then observe dysfunction. Emotional unavailability and keeping the peach becomes the model for healthy relationships. This is important to know because the type of relationship dynamic that the child learns growing up is the one that they will thing is “normal”.

Another example is when they watch people show their feelings. If a child grows up in a home where they observed adults communicate in anger, then that becomes their “normal”. They have not observed differently. There are many examples. Children can grow up in homes where parents are loving, open and kind and where conflict is resolved in a mature fashion and the child learns from this.

As parents, we need to be aware of how observational learning works and to be aware that we have a role to play in ensuring that our children are protected. We need to be courageous enough to ask ourselves “What are my children learning from my behaviour?” Do we need a little intervention. We were all observational learners as young children. What did I learn that may not seem right now?

As parents, we need to realize that we are role models and teachers for our children. Everything we do is scrutinized and repeated. Children need good role models because they do not have the capacity to judge whether what they are watching is good or bad, they need adults to help them make that determination. You never know who is watching!!!!

17 June 2011

Life is a series of ups and downs – no one stays in the same place forever. It’s been that way for me and for most of the people around me. We don’t have much control over what happens to us – but we do have control over how we respond.

There has been a lot written and said about the Law of Attraction in recent years. We are taught that in order to achieve a better life, we need to focus on where we want to go as opposed to focusing on where we are at present. When I think of this requirement, I’m immediately reminded of my favourite show as a child Winnie the Pooh. Eeyore and Tigger were two characters that I feel clearly demonstrated the law. Eeyore always had his head hung down and was forever focused on the negative in life and anyone who spent too much time around him would surely come away feeling a little deflated and uninspired. Tigger, on the other hand, bounced through life, filled with optimism and even as I think about him bouncing around the set, I feel my spirits lifting.

Are you an Eeyore or a Tigger – I’ve been both at different times in my life and I’ve learned a few lessons along the way. First of all, for most of us, we have a choice as to which one we’re going to be. I respect that there are people who have legitimate illnesses which prevent them from controlling their thoughts. For the majority of us, we have the ability to choose at any given moment to act like Eeyore or to act like Tigger.

I have also learned that these states are contagious and when we are around Eeyores or Tiggers, their conditions rub off on us. So we must then choose carefully who we come in contact with – if we want to remain positive it is wise to surround ourselves with people who will allow us to be optimistic.

When I am able, I choose to be Tigger because we attract that which we focus on. If we are positive and uplifting, we attract that into our lives. The reverse is also true, when we are not positive, we will attract the same to us. I don’t need a professional to tell me that this is true – I have tested the theory myself. When I am Eeyore, my life is more miserable. When I am Tigger – even the dullest day looks brighter. Others around me are also impacted by my mood – so I do the math – and choose, when I can, to be Tiggerlike.

15 June 2011

We all have days that are less than perfect – they can be brought on by any number of things – health problems, money problems, work problems, relationship problems – the list is endless. Couple any of those with the Nova Scotia weather and you have the perfect recipe for the blahs. Now what are you going to do about it?

The key to surviving those temporary moments is to, first of all, realize that they are temporary states. You also have to acknowledge that you have choices in how you react to them. There are steps that you can take to get you out of a funk. There are things that you can do to ensure that you don’t parachute into despair. .

A brisk walk will usually get me refocused but when the weather is nasty, that may not be the best option. Let’s face it, bundled up in a rainsuit battling the wind and trying to keep your umbrella from turning inside out, is not fun. So when I can’t get outside to work off steam, I turn to my writing. Writing has always been my friend – from as far back as I can remember, I have used writing to escape and to create my mood.

Sometimes I just doodle – I grab some markers and a sheet of paper and I start writing words down that represent the world as I would like for it to be today. Other times I take out a piece of paper and I start writing sentences, all perfectly lined one after the other beginning with the words… “I am grateful for…..”

Before long, I’m focusing on the positives in my life and forgetting what is bugging me.

Recently, I have started writing short stories about how the day would look if it went perfectly. Before I know it, I’ve written myself into a good mood. The thing is, we all have events that put us in a bad mood but the decision to stay there is just that, a decision. Not an easy one sometimes, but a decision no less. How you choose to turn things around is unique to each of us. I write – what do you do?

13 June 2011

You can't look in two directions at one time and expect to move very far in either. We've all been stuck at one time or another - trying to move forward but anchored by our past. Taking a bit of time to go back and process that which is keeping you there will be of benefit to you in the long run - face them full on, process them and then move forward.

I was reminded of a quote from the Bible - Philippians 3 starting at verse 12 is all about pressing on toward your goal. We never think about the wonderful business tips there are in the Bible.

Philippians 3:13 - forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.

My life has been like this, when I was focused on that which was behind - I not only did it wholeheartedly, but I certainly did not move forward - I became mired in the past. It was only when I made a conscious decision to focus my energy, my thinking and my talent on that which was ahead of me that I made any real headway.

The message is clear - that which we focus upon becomes bigger - so focus on where you wish to go - forward or backward, the choice is yours.

9 June 2011

Depending on where we are located in the country, attitudes toward women in trades may vary. Exposure shapes attitudes and I believe that we develop an “aptitude for diversity” by being exposed to diversity. As I write this, I am reminded of the struggles that women have with aptitude testing and how exposure is tied to aptitude but I digress. The time has come when developing an aptitude for diversity in the construction industry is not so much an option as it is a necessity.

From grade P-3, my daughter went to school in Ontario where there were 11 languages spoken in her classroom - I believe that this early exposure gave her an aptitude for diversity. The statement is not a judgement but rather an acknowledgement that this early exposure prepared her to be accepting of diversity. When we moved to Nova Scotia, she came home and told me that there were no other languages spoken in her class but English - it was very obvious - not right or wrong, just obvious. I believe that we develop an aptitude for diversity by being exposed to diversity.

Let's think of this in terms of tradeswomen. In my experience, growing up in rural NL for example, I did not meet many women who were working in non-traditional work for pay. There were a lot of hard working women who were doing non-traditional work around the home as a result of circumstances. Construction workers in NL were largely migratory and that meant women were often left at home to do the repairs around the house while their spouses went away to make a living. These women worked very hard and were quite capable of doing "men's" work. But working outside the home in non-traditional work for pay was unheard of.

There were also many women doing very hard work in the fishery but that work was traditionally work that the women did. So in spite of the fact that it was heavy work, it was not considered non-traditional work. As women, we did not have exposure to women in trades and the men in trades were not exposed to women in the industry either.

Exposure develops the aptitude for diversity. Without the exposure there is a little bit of stereotyping, room for discrimination and a certain amount of fear by all parties. I like to say that if they're not loving, they're fearing. Exposure takes the mystery out of difference and highlights our similarities.

I can remember when I was growing up that there was a woman who lived in our area and she was a sheep breeder. My father would often mention her and how she was "like a man" and "different" and "not a normal woman". None of these descriptors were meant in harm, he was speaking his truth. The women that he had been exposed to played supporting roles in life, not leading roles. The notion that a woman would want to take a leading role was a foreign concept. It was the way of the world.

Outmigration, low birth rates, an aging population have all combined to present us with an opportunity for diversification in the industry. The Construction industry must diversify. Women will be recruited to fill those roles. But here’s the challenge.

The industry was designed by men for men and it does not suit the needs of women. The culture is harsh on women and retention has always been a challenge. We all know that doing things the way they were always done and expecting different results is a great way to throw good money after bad. We're entering a new era - things have to change.

People focus on recruiting and training women and that's great; recruiting and training are good but how much energy goes into making the environment more welcoming? Absolutely none - there is no real acknowledgement that the environment is challenging. That’s the first step toward real inclusion. Organizational change requires at least a 2 pronged approach – women have to prepare for the industry and the industry needs to prepare for the women. It's the only way that women will be able to go into this profession and make it their own. It is the only way that the profession can attract and retain talent. The reality on the ground speaks a different story and only time will tell the tale.

Depending on where we are located in the country, attitudes toward women in trades may vary. Exposure shapes attitudes and I believe that we develop an “aptitude for diversity” by being exposed to diversity. As I write this, I am reminded of the struggles that women have with aptitude testing and how exposure is tied to aptitude but I digress. The time has come when developing an aptitude for diversity in the construction industry is not so much an option as it is a necessity.

From grade P-3, my daughter went to school in Ontario where there were 11 languages spoken in her classroom - I believe that this early exposure gave her an aptitude for diversity. The statement is not a judgement but rather an acknowledgement that this early exposure prepared her to be accepting of diversity. When we moved to Nova Scotia, she came home and told me that there were no other languages spoken in her class but English - it was very obvious - not right or wrong, just obvious. I believe that we develop an aptitude for diversity by being exposed to diversity.

Let's think of this in terms of tradeswomen. In my experience, growing up in rural NL for example, I did not meet many women who were working in non-traditional work for pay. There were a lot of hard working women who were doing non-traditional work around the home as a result of circumstances. Construction workers in NL were largely migratory and that meant women were often left at home to do the repairs around the house while their spouses went away to make a living. These women worked very hard and were quite capable of doing "men's" work. But working outside the home in non-traditional work for pay was unheard of.

There were also many women doing very hard work in the fishery but that work was traditionally work that the women did. So in spite of the fact that it was heavy work, it was not considered non-traditional work. As women, we did not have exposure to women in trades and the men in trades were not exposed to women in the industry either.

Exposure develops the aptitude for diversity. Without the exposure there is a little bit of stereotyping, room for discrimination and a certain amount of fear by all parties. I like to say that if they're not loving, they're fearing. Exposure takes the mystery out of difference and highlights our similarities.I can remember when I was growing up that there was a woman who lived in our area and she was a sheep breeder. My father would often mention her and how she was "like a man" and "different" and "not a normal woman". None of these descriptors were meant in harm, he was speaking his truth. The women that he had been exposed to played supporting roles in life, not leading roles. The notion that a woman would want to take a leading role was a foreign concept. It was the way of the world.

Outmigration, low birth rates, an aging population have all combined to present us with an opportunity for diversification in the industry. The Construction industry must diversify. Women will be recruited to fill those roles. But here’s the challenge.

The industry was designed by men for men and it does not suit the needs of women. The culture is harsh on women and retention has always been a challenge. We all know that doing things the way they were always done and expecting different results is a great way to throw good money after bad. We're entering a new era - things have to change.

People focus on recruiting and training women and that's great; recruiting and training are good but how much energy goes into making the environment more welcoming? Absolutely none - there is no real acknowledgement that the environment is challenging. That’s the first step toward real inclusion. Organizational change requires at least a 2 pronged approach – women have to prepare for the industry and the industry needs to prepare for the women. It's the only way that women will be able to go into this profession and make it their own. It is the only way that the profession can attract and retain talent. The reality on the ground speaks a different story and only time will tell the tale.

28 May 2011

Fran had no trouble getting along with the guys – she was one of those women born to work in open pit mining. She had been there 17 years and never really had a major event like some of the ladies reported. She loved working in the trades. People often said that it was because of her personality – she was funny, generous and kind. She would say that growing up with 5 brothers had prepared her for this work.

Get ‘er DoneThe thing that also worked in her favour was that she liked to nip trouble in the bud before it got out of control. Even though the thought of having a difficult conversation made her anxious, she had seen too often what could happen when things are not dealt with. She knew that it was important to get ‘er done so the crew could get back to work.

Things were a little different this time. The new boss had only been here about 6 months and things had gone downhill since he came on board. He timed his sexist comments and jokes for when Fran was in earshot. If that weren’t bad enough – the guys had taken to repeating the jokes and offensive language. For example, she and Tim had worked alongside one another for years without a bad word between them. Lately he had taken to referring to women as splitarses – a particularly offensive term that she had never heard him use.

It was affecting her work – she had always loved coming to work, more often these days she had to force herself out the door in the morning. Her husband and children were starting to notice that work made her grumpy. It was time to deal with this because it was impacting her private life.

There was no other option – she had to speak to her boss. Supervisors often don’t realize that they are setting trends. If he gets away with it, then the guys will think it’s ok. One bad seed in a position of authority has the potential to destroy the culture. Bad behaviour at the top could mean hell at the bottom. Some of her male co-workers agreed that the standard had changed and even some of the guys were feeling the pain.

Power ImbalanceFran knew that anxiety was common whenever there was a need to have a difficult conversation. What she was not prepared for was how the anxiety increased when there was a power imbalance - the stakes were so much higher. The playing field was no longer level.

She had a lot to think about. She did what she normally did – visualized herself going into the office, having the conversation while keeping the conversation on topic. It was important that she only speak about the impact that his behaviour was having in the workplace and she needed to use specific examples. She’s been documenting them for a while now.

It might be a little easier if the boss had a heart of gold but he was known for his biting remarks and use of sarcasm. Fran knew that there was a risk involved. There was no turning back – she was prepared to leave the company if need be.

Fran’s story is not an uncommon one. People have no control over how things will turn out. Many toxic environments are made worse because the boss contributes to or sets the standard for toxic behaviour. Having the conversation is essential – moving on might be the only viable solution but that should only take place after the conversation has taken place.

25 May 2011

Diversity is a growing field because diversity presents challenges in the organization. Times have changed from back in the day when I was part of my first diversity initiative. At age 17, I left my small rural community in NL for a job as a mechanic. The Army was recruiting women to diversify its force. When I look back now, I shake my head - no sensitivity training, no mentoring and no Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Not all the women fared well - the only real option was assimilation and we were not all good at pretending to be something we weren't. Our biggest challenge was staying out of the crosshairs of the institutional bullies. We were not all lucky enough to do that.

The old way is gone and workplaces are having to change - it's about time too. Self acceptance is hard enough without entering a workplace where you're not accepted because of your difference. For diversity to work, the workplace has to change. This is especially the case where workers have never been exposed to a diverse workplace. I always say that they don't know what they don't know. Often they don't know that things they do each day could hurt another person. Change is tough but abuse is tougher.

Thirty years ago, I walked in on a situation where a woman was being verbally abused by a bully and there were bystanders watching. The guy tried to explain himself by saying "We were just having fun, she can't take a joke." The language that he was using toward this women is not even something that a liberal person like me would repeat. I was not a strong woman then, I am ashamed at the way I could not protect her but I never did forget that remark. "We were just having fun - she can't take a joke."

There was no joke, he was engaged in verbal abuse of a sexual nature with lewd remarks and catcalls. and the guys that were looking on joined in laughter and taunting - I've often thought about those guys and how they did what they did to fit in just like all of us did. One apple can really spoil the whole barrell. Times have changed or at least they should. Change takes place sometimes by shining a light on a situation and opening up the situation for candid dialogue. Women that have gone through this industry and learned a lesson or two can share their story to help another.

Working in trades is not the only place where people are vulnerable. Dalhousie University has a diversity initiative to recruit underrepresented minorities. I was admitted into the program by self disclosing that I was disabled. Black and Aboriginal people are also recruited based on these personal characteristics. I love diversity initiatives. There was a support program in place inside the institution to help the Black and Aboriginal students transition but no such program for disabled people. I was also underrepresented on a number of fronts - I was a first generation university student, single mom living on a disability pension. I stood out like a sore thumb alongside my classmates whose family backgrounds were often a little more distinguished.

I remember being asked by a fellow disabled man if I had self disclosed and of course I self disclosed as a disabled woman - I doubt that I would have gotten in on my pedigree alone. He said that he did not self-disclose to get in but he had shared that his dad was a Superior Court Judge and I asked if he had disclosed this on his application. Self identifying comes in all shapes and forms. There can be many benefits of privilege - the privilege of the underrepresented or the privilege of social standing.

Underrepresented minorities need to be protected against the dominant culture - they're at risk if left to their own devices. At the very least, a mentoring program is required but further supports are required especially if you're crossing social strata. I recently spoke with a group of women who are being recruited to go into the trades. They are vulnerable on a number of fronts - they are new to the workforce and entering a non-traditional workforce is an added burden. They need skills to survive in this culture.

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to enter a diversity initiative and to disclose your vulnerabilities. The least that can happen in the workplace/school is that they be given the respect and support that they need to succeed.

19 May 2011

Joanie calls me one day and she says, "Debbie, I need your help. I'm having problems with this guy at work and I don't know what I did to make him hate me. He used to really like me and yesterday we had a Safety Meeting and he didn't even pass the word on to me. I looked stupid when my boss asked me why I wasn't there. When I asked Jack why he never told me he mumbled that he wasn't my supervisor. I can't handle this drama - what do I do?"

Well, of course I can help you out sista - you've got a classic case of jealousy on your hands.

I love my job - coaching women through those days at work when everything seems to be going wrong. It's tough enough to have chosen a profession that is hard on the body but when it is hard on the mind, it gets tough to handle. After all we usually have to go home to a family who wants us to care for them - we don't have time for this childishness at work. Being a woman in trades can be challenging but there are little tools to add to your tool box.

You're wondering what I told her?

Well, for starters, we always acknowledge that we can't change other people - we can only change our reaction. If they ain't lovin' they're fearin' is what I like to say.

Then we take a walk in the other person's shoes for a minute. When Joanie came onsite, Jack was very nice to her. Jack was known for being helpful and he had a reputation for being the go-to guy. But Joanie was getting quite confident in her work lately and recently a couple of the guys had gone to her for advice on a particular technical problem they were having.

Jack observed all of this. Joanie was taking away his job - she was becoming the go-to gal. Jack was feeling the rub.

Are you having an 'ah ha' moment right about now? I wonder what Joanie will do with this information? Will knowing this change anything? What would you do?

Oh the life of a coach is very, very interesting - especially when people say "ah ha - hadn't thought of that."

18 May 2011

Susie, I knew you’d be a bit nervous about your first day so I thought I’d share a few nuggets of wisdom with you from back in the day. I know how much you hate it when I say that but promise you’ll read this to the end. You see, us older ladies have been there and you don’t need to reinvent the wheel everytime.

I can remember how exciting it was to pick out my clothes the night before that big day. I’d been given my gear during Orientation Training and my brother had helped me to scuff it all up a bit so that I wouldn’t stand out as a newbie. I chuckle at it now – it probably helps psychologically but there is no getting away from the fact that when you walk in, it will be like aliens have landed . So suck it up sista.

I was told to report to Arnie at Site 9 and some guy pointed him out for me. I thought Arnie was ancient looking – he looked 50. Back when I was 20, it seemed old but now that I’m 50, I’ve changed my mind about that.

I walked over to Arnie and held out my hand and said “Hi, I’m Debbie”. I used my assertive voice like they taught me in the interview workshop. He didn’t even look at me as he yelled out to another guy. “Ted. Get over here!!”

“Ted, this is Donna – she’s going to work with you today.” I could tell that Ted was not so pleased about this and he looked like he was hearing it for the first time. Great!! I found out later that the guys on the site didn’t even know that there was a woman coming into the worksite which made them resent us more. But that’s a topic for another day.

“Debbie, my name is Debbie.” I wasnted to yell. All of a sudden, Ted grabs me and yells out “What the F…..” as he whirls me behind him. I must have looked frightened because he softened up a little.

“Donna, there’s a lot of stuff going on here – keep your eyes and ears peeled at all times.” I looked around then and saw a couple of cranes swinging overhead, trucks everywhere moving supplies in and debris out. It was crazy. People were working together in little clusters minding their own business.

I’m brought back to reality when he says “Grab the end of this board, we’re moving them down into the hole.” I spent the rest of the day moving boards down into a hole, one by one. It didn’t make much sense to me at the time. I thought I’d be reading blueprints, doing layouts, bossing everyone around on the first day. I thought I'd have my own slaves. Carrying boards – are you kidding me????

But it all makes sense Susie – there’ a method to this madness. Back at the college we were taught how everything fit together but we never had the pressure of the real world and we didn’t parachute into the middle of a project. The real world is kind of crazy Susie – you have to hit the ground running. Just do what they tell you to do and it will all make sense after a while.

I can remember picking up one end of a couple of planks we were carrying and as we stepped off, I went to the left and he went to the right – I felt so foolish but Ted just chuckled and said “Donna, listen to what I’m saying.”

I remember thinking at the time that I hadn’t learned anything that first day. But I learned plenty and you will too – I learned that it’s important to be aware of what’s going on around you in an environment with a lot of hazards. I’m a much better listener now because of the mistakes I made that day. I was given a task that I thought was below me – imagine me carrying board around – that’s not what I trained for. But it is so important to learn how to operate in this environment so that I’m safe and my fellow worker is safe – starting with a less demanding task helped me to learn that. You’re getting used to the environment in those early days – there will be plenty of time for challenge later on.

At one point Ted said, “Let’s scab these boards together, Donna.” I had to ask even though I felt like a fool – “What’s a scab?” I thought it was something that I picked off my knee when I was a kid. But scabbing is industry lingo for nailing two pieces of board together. Obviously there are new terms to learn too.

When the day was over, Ted and I walked out together. “You did a good job today Debbie.” Did he really just call me Debbie – now that is progress?

“Tomorrow we’re working on the barge. I never asked what a barge was – I would learn when I saw it. I was starting to trust the process a little.

17 May 2011

Brenda Lynch is a lady from Upper Island Cove, NL who will start work again on Monday in Long Harbour. She is a remarkable lady and I mean that from the bottom of my heart not because she is my sister but because she is so awesome. Brenda and her husband have lived and worked in Nova Scotia for many years and they operated their own business doing Cement Finishing. It was here that she learned and perfected her craft. She is the only cement finisher Journeywoman in the Bricklayers Union in NL. She is also 49 years old and a mom to two fantastic kids.

Brenda is a tiny yet dynamic lady. Even though she works alongside men whose sheer size can be intimidating, she is not easily ruffled and can hold her own among the guys. She can work with the best of them and often has been guilty of offering creative solutions for problem solving on the job. Men who work alongside Brenda have been heard to say that they love having Brenda on their crew. She gets along well with the men, enjoys a laugh and a good story and is a tremendous team player.

I think I speak for all women when I say that we're proud to have Brenda in the ranks of TRADESWOMAN EXTRAORDINAIRE. We're sending out best wishes to her as she heads into this new venture in her life. Way to go sista....

What a great afternoon. The Sackville Business Association hosted a wonderful Social Media event at the Avodah Cafe in Lower Sackville today. We enjoyed delicious soup, sandwiches and desserts while we learned all about using modern technologies to develop relationships with people online.

Joel Kelly of MT&L, Sarah Carver of Radian6 and Lauren Oostveen of Nova Scotia Archives shared some fascinating information about the benefits of social media and some stories about what can go wrong when it is not managed well. It was informative and a little overwhelming at the same time.

It goes without saying that Social Media is the way of the future and it will impact business in a large way. I had a real ah ha moment during the presentation as I realized how important it is to ensure that if you're going to do the online thing, it makes good sense that you do it well. A half baked program can ruin your image. It is another example of the difference between the generations - the younger folk clearly excel at grasping and utilizing this media.

But, and this is the caveat - at the end of the day, it's not the panacea that everyone might think it is. Social Media, when done well, will get people in the door and face to face with a client. The face to face part is probably the "old fashioned" part and it is the area where the older folk are excelling. After all, for time immemorial, the older generation have been fostering, nurturing and growing face to face relationships.

The final outcome for me - I'll be making sure that I tweak my online presence in the coming months to get with the game. I see that it does have value and I'll be getting a younger person - like my nephew Shane - to really help me to get it right. It's another example of how the generations compliment one another with the skills that they have in a world that is quite diverse.

18 February 2011

Skills Canada recently hosted a one day workshop for high school students and I participated as a mentor. I was asked by one of the students what I thought was the most important skill that a trades person could have.

Often in our education at community colleges, the focus is on the hard skills and for good reason. It is essential that we have knowledge of the internal workings of a four stroke engine to use an example from my trade. In the classroom, knowledge gets passed to all students equally. But learning onsite is all about the relationship between people. Knowledge in the real world is passed from master to apprentice often under conditions that don't leave time for learning. Communication has the potential to greatly enhance that learning experience.

Good communicators ask for opportunities to learn. Good communicators can ask the right questions that can greatly enhance their ability to learn. Good communicators are often chosen for supervisory positions. One of the reasons is because they can articulate what is needed and direct others with clear communication. Good communicators are better advocates in the workplace and contribute to healthier work environments.

Communication is by far the skill that is most important to success in the trades.

We were not all fortunate enough to grow up in families where our needs were always met – many of us grew up in environments that were not nurturing. Childhood trauma, poverty, bad parenting, alcoholism, abuse and neglect are just a few of the reasons why children grow up with a distorted view of the world. When a child can’t trust the primary caregiver, it leaves a lasting impression. Children are often torn between a desire to move forward and an obligation to protect the family secrets. Roles become reversed and the children become parents.

The story does not end there. The real tragedy is that sometimes the problems we inherit as children interfere with our success as adults. I have met a lot of adults who have not managed to put their past into perspective. Having experienced a substantial amount of trauma in my own life, I can certainly appreciate where they are coming from and what the challenges are.

There are others though who are taking back their lives, doing the work to understand the past and then making better choices for the future. I am delighted to meet other entrepreneurs who have put their past into perspective and then used their experiences from childhood to make the world a better place. As we chat together the one thing that we realize is that putting the past in perspective is essential to moving forward. The other thing that we agree upon is that we gained a lot of skill in those difficult places and we are using those skills in our businesses.

We acknowledge that it was not a battle that was easily won and there were certain steps that we followed. Accepting and acknowledging our past was key combined with a willingness to forgive and let go. We all speak about letting go of shame that was not our own. We then accepted that we were adults and as adults we have control over what happens to our lives from here on in.

A friend of mine imparted a wonderful piece of wisdom recently when she said. “When we made mistakes in the past – we were doing the best we could with the tools that we had. Now we have new tools and with those tools we are making better decisions.” I thought that this was a profound piece of advice – we can’t change where we came from but we can certainly control where it is that we are going.