So, how do we begin to describe an eight-nil defeat?
At the hands of MASH Media we were quite heavily beat.
But let’s not dwell on the negatives - we can always improve,
By focusing on the basics, like that famed pass and move.

What do we take from a performance like this?
That there were chances – albeit ones we missed.
A wonderful debut from Michele playing at right-back,
Some lovely touches from Will in supporting the attack.

Dodo dominating in between the sticks,
And Ally’s stylish wing play and swerving free kicks.
Some excellent defending from the central defence,
Andrea’s awareness and supporting the offence.

Jonni supporting and pressing their back line,
Dave hitting the net but disallowed this time.
Owen expertly timing tackles on the slide,
Mauro splitting their defence by occasionally running wide.

It wasn’t the best of performances, on that much we’ll
agree,
It’s never fun to slide to such a heavy defeat.
But this team has good players, we’re a side much better than this,
Let’s keep a clean sheet and see less opportunities missed.

And if you’re wondering why the report takes this style?
It’s because we need to re-establish our rhythm (and guile).
Pressing from the off, keeping opposition players contained,
It’s how our best results have always been obtained.

So let’s make sure we play better next week –
Keeping it tight and strong in the tackle, not meek.
And walk on to that pitch with our rhythm when play begins,
Because we know that’s the key to all of our wins.