Monday, 14 November 2011

The title says it all really, Today were having jokes glalore. These jokes are my all time favorites, just thought I would share them.

Bar Joke
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender "Give me six double vodka"
The barman says, "You must have had a very bad day".
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay"

The next day the same guy came into the bar nd asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was the answer came back "My younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said, “What the hell? Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”

“Yes, my wife…”

American Newspaper
A man is out walking in New York city when he sees a little girl being chased by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by hitting the dog’s head with a stick and saves the girl’s life.

The girl’s mother rushes over to him: “Thank you so much for saving my little girl. You are a true hero. Tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about ‘Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl’”

“But I’m not a New Yorker,” the man says.

“Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl,” says the mother.

“But I’m not an American neither,” the man says.

“So, what are you then?” asks the mother.

“I’m an Iranian,” the man replied politely.
The next day he sees the newspaper headlines:

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Yes, Listen to the bin. Please do not use our lush grass as a toilet, as we have really expensive plants as you can see in the background. Don't use the diagram as intructions as that is what to do if things go a tiny bit wrong. This man learn't to always push and shove to ensure that you can get there in time. So I will repeat, please do not use the diagram.