pig #2: *starts sining Flogging Molly's song 'Another Bag of Bricks'* Did you know that song sounds a lot like The Pogues song 'Turkish Song of the Damned?'

big bad wolf: off the If I Should Fall from Grace with God album? why yes, it certainly does

*pig #2 and wolf go off to discuss music. wolf decides that the pig has too good taste in music to be eaten*

*CRACK!*

pig #1: what was that noise?

pig #3: oh no! it looks like she stepped on the hooves of one of the three billy goats and was chased over the bridge! that troll never maintains it, the boards were weak and she fell through! quick! she's floting up the river! let's go save her!

*SPLOOSH*

pig #1: AAAUUUGGGGGGHHH!!!!! IT'S THE LOCHNESS MONSTER!!

pig #3: you fool! *goes to throw another brick, but he ran out* the lochness monster lives near scotland! we're not in scotland, we're off the coast of florida! *looks into the river* HOLY SHIT! THAT IS THE LOCHNESS MONSTER!

there's a TV show I'd reckon you'd like, maybe it's broadcast in Newfie...it's THAT good.
it's theme song has always reminded me of this place

" there's a bear in there( well, there used to be)
and a chair as well..( SILVERCHAIR!! ...don't get me started)
there are people with games..
and stories to tell
open wide
come inside( i figure you'd like that bit)
it's Playschool
it's Playschool

pig #1: oh no! what if it comes after us?? hey! who's that guy over there? maybe he can help us?

pig #3: *yelling* hey you! over here!!

scary man who bears a resemblence to a neck-less truckdriver...yes folks, you guessed it--HENRY ROLLINS!: what the fuck do you want? you know what i hate about talking pigs? they're not on a plate! and if they haven't been roasted and cooked up in their own juices, then there's no point in eating them *blah blah blah blah*

pig #3: oh god...maybe we'd be better off if the lochness monster ate us, i don't want to listen to this guy talk! what a moron!

henry rollins: *still ranting...now talking about a resturant where he ordered pork chops and sent them back cos he didn't like the design on the placemats*

pig #1: maybe, do you think we could feed him to the lochness monster?

pig #3: you fool! *reaches for a brick, out of habit, knowing he threw them all already* hey wait...that's a good idea....

*pig 1 and 3 sneak up on rollins, and push him into the river*

rollins: hey! i'm not done whinning yet!

*SPLASH*

rollins: fuck you! i don't know how to swim!!

*more splashing*

*CHOMP!*

lochness monster: *belch*

pig #3: uh oh....dude, look at that monster! it doesn't look like its feeling so well...

*SPLASH!*

--the pigs watch in horror as the lochness monster falls, sinking down to the bottom of the river---

pig #1: wow...must have been something he ate...

pig#3: you fool! *throws a rock this time* rollins did it! it must have been his horrible temperment or sheer obnoxiouness!

--suddnely al barr from the dropkick murphys shows up, sporting the perfect shirt for the occasion--