Tag Archives: dating

Reader, I’m so excited to share the next installment of my series, “A Little Bit Brave.”

Each month, I’ll be posting an article by another blogger who took a leap and moved themselves away from everything that was familiar to find the next “right” step in their life. You can read other women’s stories here.

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Koalas. Kangaroos. Australia has this amazing mystique about it. It always has for me. I remember when I was 14 or 15, my mum told me she just had this feeling I would live far away when I grew up. I’ve always had an adventurous heart, but I can honestly say that I never expected anything to end up like this.

When it came time to go to university, I left my parents’ house in Shawnee, Kansas to go two hours away to Kansas State. It was basically like high school, round two. Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but wasn’t without its challenges. The day after we moved in, I played football with my roommate and two new friends. One of these friends would impact my life in a big way, and give me the illusion of a safety net that would help me to jump into the best decision of my life.

I decided in December 2008 that I was definitely going to study abroad in Australia for my sophomore year. The whole year. Not the measly six months everyone else did. I wanted the full cultural experience. I was now also dating this previously-mentioned friend. I was in love. So I packed my two suitcases. Whoever invented the 50lbs/23kg limit never knew a 19-year-old girl packing for a full year. You have to be able to have nice things to go out.. Aussie summers are hot… Nobody has central heating… It’s a delicate balance!

I fell in love with Australia. Head over heels in love with Australia. But how could I stay? About as soon as I landed back on American soil, I was homesick. I can’t explain the tie this country has to my heart, but I knew I had to find a way back. I was prepared to make plans to leave my family, everything I really knew, to spend exorbitant amounts of money on finishing my degree, and to create a life halfway around the world.

Everybody’s talking about the Duggars, and probably for good reason (much of the time, anyway). Just in case you’ve been living under a rock lately, here’s a link to an article detailing why the Duggars have been – yet again – in the news.

I don’t want to join the thousands of haters. I don’t want to condemn Josh Duggar for his past transgressions, though I have concerns about that, too. I don’t want to blame him for this current situation because, let’s face it, folks: he did not ask for this. Nor did his victims.

You may disagree with nearly every defense the Duggar clan has made about this whole debacle. You may absolutely hate them for a myriad of reasons. You may have supported them in the past and now, you just don’t know what to do. Whatever your current stance, I think we can agree that there were many “mistakes” made in this sad story – not just “mistakes” (a loose term in this situation, in my opinion) made by Josh, but also mistakes made by his parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar.

The Duggars are a hyper-conservative family and openly oppose hot topics like abortion, LGBT issues, and a slew of other things. A lot of their commentary is just downright insensitive in my opinion, though there are many who support and agree with them. They are part of something called the Quiverfull Movement, a disturbing religion-based community that places misogynistic power on childbearing, dating relationships, and of course, sex itself. You can read more about it here and about a woman’s revelations after being raised in a Quiverfull family here.

So knowing all this, and now what we know about Josh Duggar’s “mistakes” (as the family has chosen to call them), what can we say about Jim Bob and Michelle? Is it fair to accuse them of also making mistakes?

Abso-effing-lutely.

Like me, you may disagree with how the Duggar parents dealt with such a serious issue in their home. The amount of time that passed, for one, before they sought help is troubling. How they went about seeking help is also concerning. But what’s the biggest deal that no one seems to be talking about in all of this mess?

Chances are, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar never talked in detail with Josh about sex, human bodies, hormones, and all the stuff in between.

As I mentioned earlier, it’s no secret that the Duggar clan is a devout religious and conservative family. While many of their values are admirable, some of them are incredibly outdated. I would even argue that, in this day and age, their methods are archaic and a complete disservice to their children.

I’ve been working on a few things lately and, largely, felt like I needed to share my own story about my “sexual awakening” to set up my thoughts on a post in the works. Rather than bore you with the same story in a different way, I’m re-blogging the original for you to scan.

If anything, I hope this story will spur other young women struggling with some of the grey areas of their sexuality to be brave and confident in themselves.

You are beautiful and desirable, Girl. Go get what you want. Or don’t. The decision is yours.

Don’t you agree, Reader? Life is just too short. Too damn short. Too short for long lines. Too short for stupid arguments with the people you love (though they are bound to happen…). There’s just not enough time.

There aren’t enough hours in the day. I have often thought this to myself, especially over the last several months. I don’t know where my days go I am so busy sometimes. I wish I could stop time, get things done, and then start it back up again and let the hours trickle away with just a smidgen less stress than I had in the “moment” before. But alas, it’s just not possible.

You know what else life is too short for? For closed-mindedness. I’ve hinted and mentioned several times that I would breach a line of conversation that would possibly uncomfortable for some (and honestly, myself included). To say it out…

Like this:

Things are starting to stir as we approach that special time in the Americas when candidates start coming forward and declaring their intentions to begin the race for the next presidential election. (In fact, Hilary Clinton officially launched her campaign publicly today.) I came across a video a few days ago that sparked my interest in all this election-talk. I follow the very millennial-friendly news outlet, Mic.com, on Facebook and read a lot of their stuff. This particular video caught my eye, though, because it had an interesting title:

Here’s What “Beyonce Voters” Really Want From Government

Now, I effing LOVE Beyonce. I like her music and I like what she stands for (for the most part). She is an incredibly talented woman and she seems, from my average-citizen point of view, to be a pretty cool person that really wants women to feel empowered. I dig that, dude.

Lately, I’ve been taking notice of what “search terms” randomly lead people to my blog and apparently, something along the lines of “Tinder in Korea” is a big one. I’m here to tell you that if you found this blog that way, Tinder works in Korea. But enough about that. Let’s move on to what this post is really all about.

Several months ago, I was introduced to Tinder. I was immediately hooked. And I realized quickly after I started swiping faces left and right that it was more of a game to me. Let me explain.

First, if you’re not familiar with Tinder (maybe you’ve been living under a rock, or somehow don’t have regular access to internet, or you live in North Korea), it’s a rather simplistic “dating” app. Well, it’s more of a “hookup” application, if we’re being really honest. Basically, you set up a VERY limited profile about yourself – you can add up to six photos and write a “blurb” that’s around 500 characters. You can also link your Facebook account to show similar interests to other users who also link their FB profiles. You choose your search parameters – age, gender, and the maximum radius for a search. Once you’ve done all that, you’re ready. The application “scans” within your preferred radius and you’re suddenly presented with up to six photos of potential “matches.” The beauty of the system is that you’re allowed to be completely shallow and the other person will never know. If you like what you see, you “swipe” the photo to the right. If you’re not so enthused, you “swipe” to the left. If you and another user both “swipe” each other right, it’s a match! Simple as that.

Now that we’ve had our lesson, let’s get back to the meat of this [very one-sided] conversation.