(Closed) Not as much fun as I thought it would be…

We are, I suppose, engaged without a ring at the moment. He is still planning a proposal, but because of time and circumstances we are already beginning the wedding planning. Yesterday I heard back from the coordinator at the chapel we want and she said the only date left in December is the 12th (or 13th, but we don’t want a Sunday wedding). It’s the perfect little chapel and it’s more affordable than anywhere else so we both got on the phone to our parents. We were so excited, I guess I expected the same from them. His parents said it was fine for them, but my mother informed me that this date is no good for them. (My parents live overseas, and travel is an issue.)

Mr.Rain called his dad who is a pastor for the same denomination as the chapel. He knows some people over here and is going to see if he can work us into a slightly later date in that chapel. If not I suppose we will have to find a different place. And it will probably cost twice as much.

It is just so frustrating– we knew there were going to be tough decisions to be made, but we honestly did not expect the very first one out the gate to be one of them. We were so excited about sitting down and starting to really plan out our wedding. Now we are both already stressed out. I have been planning in my head for so long, I thought I knew how to do this. But I’m afraid I don’t. We have 5 months– less, really– to pull this thing together and I feel frozen!

Anybody else feel this way when they started planning? Anyone else have a short engagement?

You can pull off a wedding in 5 months. My SIL got engaged and was married within 3 months. You just have to realize what is most important and scale back on some of the unnecessary extras that will take too much time to do.

First of all, find out when your parents can travel. Then you have a few weekends to work with. Then find a church. Book it. Book a reception hall, if you can, that does its own catering. That’s a HUGE hassle saver! And find a photographer. Then a dress. Then bridesmaid dresses and tuxes. Worst case scenario, you get married later in the year and you have more time. There’s nothing wrong with pushing back to march or april 2010 to save some sanity =]

Those are you biggies. You might need to buy an ebay dress or off the rack, so start looking!

Our total engagement period will be right around 5 and a half months. I thought wedding planning would be hard work but fairly easy for me since I am super organized and I’m good at planning but I really had no idea what I was in for. One simple decision is actually made up of 10 different decisions for just that one thing! I’ve had a sudden medical issue come up and now I am frozen too. I just don’t even know how to keep up with everything anymore especially with my wedding being just 47 days away.

The important thing is to BREATHE. I remind myself of that one a lot. One of the most important things that I did is make a task list that another bee recommended. It’s an excel spreadsheet with what I need to do, dates I start doing that thing, the due date of each thing, and then I can start checking things off. I highlight things on that list that need to be done within the next 2 weeks and I focus on those things first. Even if you have 20 or 200 things on that list, it keeps you focused on the important things at that time. At the bottom of the sheet I have the total of things I need to do, the total of urgent things I need to do, and the total of things that are done. Being able to write "DONE!" next to a few things after a long weekend of errands is a huge motivator to just keep on plugging along.

The whole process has been a learning experience. It’s been fun, stressful, frustrating, and rewarding all at the same time. You’re not alone though and weddingbee reminds me that there are plently of other bees going through the same thing.

Thanks for the advice, guys. ejs4y8, I found my dress this weekend, so that is one thing off the list! Since I posted this thread, I got a call from the chapel. Future Father-In-Law called and pulled some strings about getting us the first weekend in january. They are closed that weekend, but she is putting in a formal request. We are crossing our fingers and saying prayers that this works out! We LOVE this chapel!

Hang in there Miss Rain! We had a 5.5 month engagement, so it can be done. I’ve found that wedding planning goes though cycles- things come together, then they fall apart. This cycle will continually repeat itself throughout the entire process. Lean on each other when you need strength and remember to cry when you need to. It’s also important to keep your sense of humor about the whole thing too… weird and wacky people come out of the woodwork and strange and annoying situations will arise- but laughter can be the best medicine!

I just read about a couple that was having a destination wedding in Mexico when the swine flu hit! She re-did her whole wedding planning and they ended up having it in San Francisco. The kicker? She did it in one week. She must be super girl. Hang in there! You wll find a way.