This post centers around an adult-only topic, so I need you to pull out your Serious Helmet and slide it onto your Noodle whoa whoa whoa WHOA. …Did that just sound like I was talking about penises, or did that just sound like I was talking about penises. Wait a second, is it ‘penises?’ Seems weird but I’m coming off of 5 hours sleep— penes, maybe? Peonies. Okay……. you know what, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.