Pop Culture . . . whatever

RHNYC-

We start with Bethany and her new security-blanket…I mean boyfriend/baby daddy waiting for Ramona and her hubby to join them. Compliments on R’s new hair lead her to say that her hair was “like Samson and De-lie-th”…I think she meant Delilah. I am not sure what the reference meant since when Samson got his hair cut off he lost his strength. I will just assume that she is not a theologian.

Immediately it’s time to start back-biting Luann. My favorite lines from this scene:

Bethenny (B) “She’s on a rage.”

Ramona (R)” I was verbally raped by them” (Jill and Luann)

B “she lost her husband and grew a penis.”

B “She was in a very attackive mode” (Yes, I know that is not a word. She made it up)

Suddenly Ramona starts complaining about how fast Bethenny is talking…she is complaining to Jason, the boyfriend. These women never learn to keep their comments to themselves. And we love it.

Then they hit the dance floor prompting B to say that “Ramona likes to dance until her cooch falls off”…we can always depend on B to class it up.

Flash to the Hamptons where Luann is now living full time. Rosie, the former maid/nanny came to visit. Luann tells us that now that they are in the Hamptons it’s too far for Rosie to come. For the first time, ROSIE gets a personal interview…..to tell us that Luann is strong. I think. Luann tells us that she is happier since the divorce and the kids are happier too. This is right after she told us that she suspects that her daughter was attempting to sneak out and fell resulting in a broken wrist. Hmmmmmm

She then slips in that her daughter went to the “south of France” to spend time with her father and assures us that he spends a lot of time with them. She also slips in how different things are after 16 years of marriage. I am having trouble understanding what the difference is when her husband was hardly there anyway?

Simon and Alex meet with Romano and her guy for dinner…they snark on Luann and finally Mario calls to sort of apologize for calling her “Countless.”….not really apologize but tell her to come to his little party the following week and “bring it on.”….wow

Then…flash to Jill and Luann visiting at Luann’s house. They talk about the situation and Jill calls Romano on Luann’s phone. With the speaker phone on Ramona declares that Luann is a slut….and goes on to talk about her marital issues. Luanne took it pretty well…leading me to think there might be something to it. I don’t understand how Ramona couldn’t have realized she was on speaker phone….because on the show all calls are on speaker…and she knew that it was Luann’s phone…AND…because you can easily detect when you are on speaker phone. It sounds like you are talking to a tunnel…right?

Next scene: B and her new identity at a bar….he declares his love for her and says he wants to live with her. She bursts into tears and says she can’t believe she has so much that is going well. Even though I could not stand her on the last show I feel my heart softening to her watching her cry over her good fortune. My only question- why did they wait for the cameras to have this conversation?

Flash to Jill and Bobby teaching her kid how to drive….with a dog hopping around the car. Genius.

Labor day..the showdown. Who is coming to Ramona’s?

Scene one: Luann’s house. Jill and Kelly are there. They have chosen a side. Well sort of. Kelly was not invited to Ramona’s. Kelly made a big announcement. She is going to be topless in Playboy. She claims it will be tasteful…and 10 pages? What could they say about Kelly that will take TEN PAGES? I am going to assume that Kelly can’t actually count to 10 and we will see what comes of this. I don’t know why anyone would want to photograph those crazy jacked-up boobs she is sporting.

Scene Two: Ramona’s house. Bethenny is there and Simon and Alex show up soon afterward. B is having some concerns about the logo that Alex designed and her choice not to use it. I am proud of her for realizing this should be addressed. She does make a great effort and Alex says in a PI that she appreciated it but won’t be calling her for a lunch date. I like Alex and I appreciate her down to earth approach to things. She tries hard to do the right thing. In classic Alex she approaches Ramona to tell her that they would be leaving to go visit Luann. Ramona blows a gasket and then asks her not to go. Simon says “sometimes you have to decide which team”….

How OLD are these people?

Alex calls Jill and Luann on speaker phone. They answer on speaker phone. She apologized that they can’t make it and promises it was not a gossip session about them.