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Statist History Lesson

While grilling outside yesterday, I lay down and watched the clouds drift by overhead with a warm breeze on my face. I thought it’s great to be alive, even with all the rabbit-brains in Washington.

After dinner, I sat down to read a book I found at the used book store. It was called The Statist Review of History. After reading this, I understand at last the administration’s policies. For example, in the section on European history:

War was averted by British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain’s agreement with Adolf Hitler. Europe has existed in peace ever since, with Chamberlain serving three terms as Prime Minister using the slogan “Appeasement Works.”

And the discussion of the Soviet Union:

The Soviet Union remains to this day the strongest economic power on earth, providing an example for the world on how to manage economic growth and provide security and liberty for its citizens.

The section on Asia states:

After the US withdrawal from Vietnam, the area became a beacon of democracy. Cambodian leader Pol Pot, adored by his people, went on to be Secretary General of the United Nations.

The last chapter, called “Recent Developments” states:

After the famous meeting in Damascus, where the former US President profusely apologized for US arrogance, the attendees (Assad, Ahmadinejad, Omar H.A. Al-Bashier, and Ismail Haniya) were so impressed they formed the group, Committee for the Reform of Anti-freedom Policies, in order to promote freedom throughout the region.

and later in that chapter:

Recently university professor Albert Noncerveau in his book Merde-Pensee proved in a brilliant argument that reality is determined by the views of the majority of scientists, using as his example global warming where the result of the majority opinion was that the scientific models indeed showed the majority right. He argued that any dissent from the majority could not be tolerated as it weakened the subsequent “reality” produced.

These revelations were a great relief, correcting my previous misconceptions. Undoubtedly, this is the reference for the Obama foreign policy meetings. Don’t you feel better now?