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The essential guide to fried chicken eating in Tallahassee

Despite being in North Florida, Tallahassee is a part of the “South” (I’m sorry, as someone from South Florida, this concept is still confusing to me.) One thing the South is known for is barbecue which Tally has plenty of.

The essential guide to fried chicken eating in Tallahassee

Despite being in North Florida, Tallahassee is a part of the “South” (I’m sorry, as someone from South Florida, this concept is still confusing to me.) One thing the South is known for is barbecue which Tally has plenty of, but what it also offers plenty of is an abundance of fried chicken joints. On a late night of doing X, Y and Z, you need the comforting, greasy warmth of golden fried chicken tenders accompanied with a garden of French fries. Tallahassee understands your needs, and so do we.

Guthrie’s

The closest location to campus is on Tennessee St, but there’s another one on Monroe if you want to indulge with a better ambience.

Guthrie’s opens at 10:30AM and closes at 4:30. You’re bound to see a lot of interesting characters as the night goes on (insert link to article about the guy who stayed at Guthrie’s all night). Guthrie’s is usually the main go-to for students due to its proximity and relatively expedient customer service. That’s due in large part to the simplistic menu. You’re playing yourself if you get anything besides the Gut Box. It’s probably most simplistic and clutch item in this list. It contains three to four tenders, a handful of fries, a slice of Texas Toast and cole slaw. Don’t worry, you can substitute the cold slaw. Oh, and let’s not forget the Gut sauce. We’re not sure exactly what it is, but it complements the tenders better than a smooth car salesman. Lastly, the sweet tea, fuego. Not for nothing, but it tastes better than McDonald’s. Take that however you want to.

Chubby’s

If you’ve never had Chubby’s, and someone is telling you about it by using Guthrie’s as a comparison, take your fingers and use them to clench that person’s mouth. There’s simply no comparison. If you’re used to Guthrie’s and you go to Chubby’s for the first time, you may be overwhelmed at the diversity of the menu. Seeing all the choices and ways you can enjoy chicken tenders can give you a sense of liberation and empowerment. But be weary, with great choices comes great responsibility.

I’ve only eaten Chubby’s twice, the first time I got a lemon-flavored box and the second time I got a salad with buffalo lemon pepper sauce. both experiences were amazing. The portion is so abundant you might want to loosen your belt before digging in.

Chubby’s is also located on Tennessee street and it runs from 10AM to 3AM. The only thing bad about Chubby’s isn’t even the food, it’s the accessibility. Unlike the other joints, Chubby’s is a fast food hut, meaning you can’t walk in and sit down. This is a bummer because you can’t rely on Chubby’s to be the place to catch a breather or people watch. Another thing about its location is the drive thru lane is a bit of a trap. Chubby’s is located on the corner of Tennessee and Macomb, where the roads start to narrow. Getting to Chubby’s involves taking a sharp turn and the line is not only a journey’s length of a wait but it’s also a patience testing trap. The whole area is packed tight so if you decide to ditch the line and someone happens to come up behind you, you’re gonna have to sit tight for a little while. Rest assured, the food is well worth the wait depending on how hungry you are.

Chick-Fil-A

A gem of a fast food franchise. Chic Fil-A shows us how deserving we are of premium fast food chicken. There’s an on-campus Chic Fil-A as well as a location on Tennessee which is a stone’s throw from the Psych building and the School of Education. The most clutch location is on Monroe and that’s because every Monday and Thursday after 5 they have this thing called college nights. College nights is a special where if you order an 8 piece nugget meal or a regular Chicken sandwich you can get another one for free if you show your active school ID. So you can end up having two sandwiches, fries and a drink all for under $8. Whoever thought of that is this generation’s Mother Teresa because that’s the most thoughtful thing a person’s ever done for me who didn’t know my name.

Chic Fil-A is great because not only are they the crème de la crème of fast food chicken and have bomb lemonade and serve breakfast, they also have seasonal drinks like the Peppermint milkshake that comes around during the holidays. There isn’t much to say about Chic Fil-A that isn’t praising. The only thing I’m still wondering is who thought it was a great idea to put pickles on a chicken sandwich.

I’m gonna let you in a secret. Now everyone has their preferences with dipping sauces, and some people have their own system. Here’s mine: get two regular chicken sandwiches. Ask for a Chic Fil-A sauce, a packet of hot sauce and grape jelly. Use the Chic-Fil A sauce for one sandwich and use the hot sauce and jelly on the other. Apply the hot sauce before adding the jelly because otherwise the hot sauce will slide off the jelly and won’t seep into the sandwich. Don’t ask questions, just say thank you.

Publix chicken

On a good week, the 3-piece chicken tender meal will be $4.99 or the chicken tender sub will be $5.99. On a good day, mashed sweet potatoes will be a side. Publix chicken tenders are as reliable as they are good. They may not be the most seasoned tenders in the world but you know what you’re getting every time you take a bite and the smell is always inviting.

Here’s a strange fact, I’m not sure if this was a thing in all the Publixs, but back home there was a point in time when Publix tried to have “sweet tea tenders” which were basically tenders with either brown sugar or iced tea powder sprinkled on top of them. That idea didn’t get far.

Here’s a less strange fact, Publix has NFL inspired subs, some of which have chicken tender. For example, the Jacksonville Jaguars sub has chicken tenders, Boar’s Head bacon, cheddar cheese, sweet cole slaw and barbecue mayonnaise.

The chicken tender sub is a delicacy that a majority of the world doesn’t know about. It’s really sad once you start to think about it. I can’t think of another place brilliant enough to put chicken tenders on a sub roll. Here are the numbers: a half sub is $6.09, a whole sub is $8.79, a wrap $6.89. The new sales start every Thursday. Like I said earlier, the chicken tender sub can go on sale for $5.99, and it’s been $4.99 on sale before, when that happens I suggest you take advantage. Last year not only were they on sale for $4.99 but the sale week got extended. The aftermath: 7 subs in 12 days. I regret nothing.

Zaxby’s

My go-to here is the Boneless Wings and Things, it’s the best bang for your buck in my opinion. Zaxby’s is another good, reliable spot. Zaxby’s and Chic Fil-A have the strictest hours of the bunch, closing at 10PM. I haven’t been to the Zaxby’s on Monroe, but the one on Tennessee is a nice place to eat and converse. The interior design is way more welcoming than Guthrie’s. Zaxby’s also has better sauce than Guthrie’s and their milkshakes are pretty good too. Additionally, Zaxby’s has the most determination when it comes to seasoning fries, and that’s a good thing because their fries are never bland. The paying for extra sauce thing isn’t cool but you get your choice of complementary sauce with an order so it’s not that bad.