Rand Paul Is Not a Good Personhood

The blog occasionally mentions its Five Minute Rule as regards to any pronouncement by Ron Paul or his many fans out there in the country. Up until now, the Five Minute Rule has been rigid. It brooked no exceptions. The rule states that you can listen to Crazy Uncle Liberty (!) and any of his acolytes for precisely five minutes, and you'll probably agree with every word they say. But, at exactly the 5:01 mark, they will say something so off-the-wall insane that you'll feel as though your mind has been hijacked by elves. I may have to adjust the rule to deal with the reality of Dr. Paul's son, Senator Aqua Buddha of Kentucky. I may have to adopt a Two Second Rule to cope with him.

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He's been busy. First, he decided to save the Jesus snowflake babies by jacking around with the federal flood insurance program, which, of course, never has been relevant to his constituents in Kentucky. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid responded with a barrage of outraged mildness.

"I'm told last night that one of our Republican senators wants to offer an amendment — listen to this one — wants to offer an amendment on when life begins," Reid said on the Senate floor Tuesday. "I am not going to put up with that on flood insurance. I can be condemned by outside sources; my friends can say, 'Let them have a vote on it.' There will not be a vote on that on flood insurance. We'll either do flood insurance with the amendments that deal with flood insurance, or we won't do it. We'll have an extension."

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For his part, Aqua Buddha remained undaunted.

"Can you believe that they're exasperated with me?" he said, responding to criticism of his attempt to attach the unrelated amendment. "If [Reid will] give me a freestanding vote, I'll take a freestanding vote any time."

He wants a "free-standing vote" on Personhood, a concept so basically authoritarian and loopy that even the voters of Mississippi voted against it. This, of course, is because "libertarianism" is all about economic freedom and breaking the shackles of government tyranny, and not at all about those messy "social issues" that might make "libertarianism" look like it's just fronting for the Bible-bangers out in the world.

Not content with his work on denying Kentuckians aid in case they start floating toward Tennessee, Aqua Buddha has moved on to holding up the District of Columbia's budget until he can ensure there will be more guns on the street in the District. Luckily, though, there is a stalwart Progressive in place to stop this nonsense in its tracks:

Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Chairman Joe Lieberman had told Roll Call on Tuesday afternoon that he was hoping to move forward as planned with the bill, which he has sponsored and which would unlink D.C.'s budget from the Congressional appropriations process. The Connecticut Independent said he was hopeful that negotiations with Paul would allow for a package of amendments to come up for a committee vote — excluding one that would let D.C. residents obtain concealed-carry permits for handguns and allow concealed-carry permits from other states to be recognized in the city.

Yoicks.

Bear in mind that at least part of why Crazy Uncle Liberty (!) is still working the Republican nominating process so hard is to guarantee that his nutty spalpeen has a serious future in national politics. The next time your weekly conversation with the neighborhood Paulbot reaches the 4:59 mark, mention this fact to them. Then run for the hills.