Friday, 1:46pm
Reno, NV
“You want it, you take it… you pay the price.” (Bruuuuuuce Springsteen, “Prove It All Night”)

Howdy…

One afternoon when I was around 9, I found a $2 bill laying in the parking lot of the local plunge (where we’d just spent the day trying to drown ourselves and trick each other into doing belly-flops off the high dive).

I was as ecstatic as Sinbad when he discovered the Cyclops’ treasure cave. The rarity of the bill just added to the sense of forbidden loot and mysterious swag. Bought us a lot of candy back then.

However, it also changed me. I spent years looking under cars in parking lots after that, obsessed with the notion that vast caches of moolah were laying around, waiting to be found. It was magical thinking at its finest. I was half-convinced it might be a way to fund my childhood, just harvesting the cash laying around.

I mean, Santa had already been outed as “not real”. And Zorro, when I met him at a supermarket opening, was shorter than he looked on TV (and smelled like beer). I had these gaping holes in my belief system of “how things worked”, and since no one was offering better ideas, I just picked up on whatever silly notion entered my head and ran with it.

Later, when we realized The Monkees weren’t a real band, and Rock Hudson was gay, and Nixon lied to us, and…

It was HARD keeping a bullshit myth-laden belief system operating. You had to really dig in and ignore facts, and even get burned a lot.

Finally, when I became a freelance copywriter and there was real money on the line (and not just opinions or hurt feelings)… I saw the light.

And it remains one of the Big Revelations I had, early in my career: The role of reality in becoming a world-class salesman.

In order to persuade large groups of people to buy, act now, or even just begin to see your side of things… you have to see the world as it is.

Not as you wish it was. Not as you believe it should be. Not as you were told it was.

As it is. The stark, cold reality of how things actually work, and how people actually behave.

This is often scary, at first. It requires you to look behind your go-to belief systems (which you may have had since you were a kid)… to challenge authority’s version of what’s going on… and — most important — you must willingly exit the shared delusion among the majority of your fellow humans that what they say they’ll do is more important than what they actually do.

This kind of critical thinking, of looking behind the curtain and not being lulled into false promises, drags you away from the main party… and can seem lonely. Folks will even get hostile at times, because you’re no longer playing along. (I had multiple occasions, before I learned to just let it go, of ending a family argument by pulling out a dictionary or encyclopedia… and later, hoping onto Google. Thus ruining everyone’s mood, because no one enjoys having their bullshit beliefs challenged.)

This sense of becoming alienated from friends and family sometimes keeps copywriters from tossing their myth-based belief systems, and diving deep into the murky waters of reality. They’re afraid it will change them for the worst. Make them azzholes and doubters and unpleasant realists.

But that’s not how it needs to work. Here are a few Starter Rules to help you get going:

Starter Rule #1: Observing how people act, versus what they say they’ll do, just gives you a tool to avoid being bamboozled. In its simplest form, you’ll notice that the folks who are most emphatic in their promises (“I will absolutely be there on time. No excuses…”) are the ones who will chronically let you down.

In the advanced form, your Bullshit Detector will start buzzing whenever a client says “money isn’t a problem”… because, much of the time, that means money is very much a problem. (Resist the urge to automatically assume the opposite of everything anyone says… even when your experience shows you it will often be the case. Don’t get into the habit of making rash decisions, based on what you’ve seen before. But DO put your instincts and experience into the mix.)

Starter Rule #2: And for God’s sake, don’t let this make you cynical. It’s not your job to call folks out on the inconsistency of their actions, versus what they insist is their intention. You can, however, quietly understand that the rare individuals who DO fulfill their promises are the ones you want around you professionally (and probably romantically, too).

When money, results and the success of a biz venture is on the line, promises count for nothing. The cold hard reality of how the market reacts to your ads is all that matters.. and you must react accordingly.

Starter Rule #3: Keep your ego out of it. At first, you’ll need to monitor your own bad habits of not following up on your promises… and this will change you fundamentally as a person. Don’t announce that you’re suddenly a “new man”. Instead, just start acting as if your word really does mean something.

Early on, I developed my version of a “professional’s code”: You are where you said you’d be, when you said you’d be there, having done what you said you’d do.

This means you meet all deadlines, no matter what (even if it means staying up all night working, missing the big party, disappointing Susie Q, defying the insults and demands of your old pals who hate the idea of you becoming a pro and leaving their slacker butts in the dust). You honor your contracts, even if it’s just something you said (and could, if you weren’t such a pro, weasel out of).

You become “that guy” who can be trusted… not because you say you can be trusted, but because you really can be trusted.

Huge difference that requires behavioral changes at your cellular level. It’s hard to pull off, but you can do it.

Starter Rule #4: When you first start living in reality, there is a danger of becoming cynical and angry. Just move past it — your goal is to become a world-class persuader and provider of actual results.

You may become a quieter person… because all that time you once spent trying to convince someone you were going to do something is no longer required. You simply agree to do it, and then do it. On time. With all the expertise you can muster.

You never, ever need to explain yourself. You become a Dude Of Action. This becomes your reputation over time — not because you’ve announced it, but because this is who you’ve become. You’ve got to be patient, and hold yourself accountable for everything you do.

And yes, I’m serious when I say “everything”. Stop lying, pretending, wishing and cheating. It’s stunningly easy to do, but it requires a commitment.

Starter Rule #5: There is never a need to argue. As a rookie copywriter, I realized (after meeting my twentieth VP of Marketing or CEO or entrepreneur) that incompetence is the RULE, not the exception, in business.

Most bosses — no matter how good-hearted they are, or how smart they are, or even how experienced they are — simply cannot know all there is to know about every part of running a biz. So they’ll insist on using certain (dumb) sales angles, demand that offers be presented in specific (dumb) ways, and — worst of all — have their niece with the degree in English Lit edit your work.

Early in your career, this is not a problem to worry about. Get your money up front, with any other royalties or payments in written form, and just keep moving. Most of your clients will suck, and not follow through, and botch the marketing up. That’s just the way it goes.

As you gain experience, and especially as your reputation allows you to have more of a voice in what goes down, you’ll eventually be in the position of forcing every client to do what you tell them to do. But that doesn’t happen right away.

(For more on these high-end freelance tactics, including details on how to get paid, check out The Freelance Manual, available here.)

When you work through reality, the mysteries of the world play less and less a part of how you proceed. If you don’t know something, you don’t pretend that saying you know it makes it so. You go learn it. Or hire someone who’s proficient at it to do it for you. You research, you comparison shop, you do whatever is necessary to achieve your goal.

You say “I don’t know. I’ll find out,” a lot.

You are relieved from the task of keeping your lies and boasts and pretend-knowledge straight.

And suddenly, you’re spending your time honing your chops, filling in the gaps with actual skills and know-how, and getting shit done.

Most folks prefer the world to remain full of mystery. It’s that childhood thrill of simply deciding that something is so, and then never questioning it again, even as evidence mounts that it’s bullshit. (I never did find another $2 bill on the ground. And I missed a few rainbows along the way, because I was always looking down…)

Reality is unforgiving, and requires you to be responsible, take action, and stop pretending. But it’s really the only way to go. I found that, rather than making me more cynical about people, I actually loved them more. I instantly forgive them their bullshit promises, even while fulfilling all of my own. I also never allow someone to steal time from me, or ruin my day with a failed promise — I give them a reasonable window, and when they’ve failed, I go to Plan B.

You always have a Plan B (and Plan C, and Plan D) when you live in reality. Sometimes you find yourself saying goodbye to unreliable friends and fun-but-sketchy colleagues… and you have to be okay with that. You’re going after long-term and short-term goals, and it takes commitment and sweat to reach them. If your old crowd still believes that success comes from luck (like finding a $2 bill on the ground), you may have to find a new crowd.

There will always be a little mystery in life. You encounter new stuff all the time, in business and in relationships and in everything you do.

But each mystery can be broken down into knowable parts, and figured out, and solved. Every time. Eventually, after you’ve worked with a lot of clients in a lot of markets, you realize you are never stumped by the obstacles that freeze most entrepreneurs up. There is always a reason why sales are down, or returns are up, or something that used to work ain’t working no more.

When the reality of business and life become second-nature to you… you become That Consultant Every Biz Owner Wants To Hire. And the top copywriting experts are all consultants first, solving the mysteries with reality-based solutions. The writing comes later.

Does this make sense to you?

This entire subject is often the main entree at our masterminds, and in every Hot Seat consultation I do.

Living in reality is a much better way to go, every time. And it really can make you a happier, more fun and pleasant person… who just happens to get a lot done.

I’m re-publishing — for what has become a very popular tradition on this blog — one of the more influential posts I’ve ever written.

It’s a good one, worth rereading even if you read it before.

What you’re about to encounter is a slightly tweaked way of looking at the best way to start your new year…

… but this tweak makes all the difference in the world. I’ve heard from many folks that this particular technique finally helped them get a perspective on where they’re at, where they’re going…

… and why they care about getting there.

So, even if you’ve read this post before… it’s worth another look. Especially now, as you gaze down the yawning gullet of 2013, trying to wrap your brain around a plan to make the year your bitch.

This is a critical step for entering any new period of your life. To keep your life moving ahead, you need to set some goals, dude. And most goal-setting tactics, I’ve found, are useless. Worst among them is the traditional New Year’s resolutions (which seldom last through January).

This tactic I’m sharing with you (again) is something I’ve used, very successfully, for decades…

… to reach goals, to clarify the direction of my life, and to change habits. I first shared it in the old Rant newsletter a few years back, and I’ve hauled it out here in the blog on a regular basis. It’s timeless, classic stuff that will never let you down.

So let’s dive in. Here’s the relevant part of the post (slightly edited):

“Goal Setting 101 And
The January 15th Letter”

Yeah, yeah, I know a chat about goals can quickly turn into a boring, pedantic lecture. But then, so can a chat about space flight.

And, in reality, both space flight and your goals are VERY exciting things.

Or should be.

It’s all in the telling.

What I’m not going to discuss are “resolutions”. Those are bogus pseudo-goals that have the staying power of pudding in a microwave.

No. It’s merely a coincidence that I’m suggesting a review of your goals in January, just after the New Year’s supposed fresh start.

I mean… there’s not much else to do, so why not sit down and plan out the rest of your life.

This is, of course, a very damp, cold, and bleak time of year. The depths of winter and discontent.

A good percentage of the population suffers fleeting depression because of lack of sunlight… thanks to the geniuses behind Daylight Savings Time, who arrange for dusk to arrive around 2:30 in the afternoon in these parts.

We also just got slammed with back-to-back-to-back “Storms of the Century”, each one dumping a record load of snow on us. I sent photos to friends, and many emailed back wondering when I’d gone to Antarctica to live.

We had a little cabin fever brewing. Didn’t help when the local PBS channel ran a special on the Donner Party, either. Three feet of snow drifting down, the lights flickering, enough ice on the road to make the SUV sidle like a Red Wing goon slamming someone into the boards.

The safest place was home… but man, the walls start to close in after a few days.

I’m telling you, I had excuses up the yin-yang for allowing my senses to get a little dulled. The natural response is to turn your mind off, and hibernate until March. And I succumbed. Started moping around, watching CSI: Miami reruns instead of reading a book, surfing the Net for stuff I didn’t care about… you know the drill.

I’m sure you’ve done your own version of it now and again.

And I’m also sure you already know that no amount of “buck up” happy talk will mitigate the gloom.

In fact, there are a few enlightened health pro’s who say we should let our bodies wind down every year or so. Get a full system-flush type of cold, crawl under the covers for a few days and let the demons and other bad stuff bubble to the surface. So you can purge the crud. Evacuate the used-up bacteria and tube-clogs out of your pipes, physically. And shoo the whispering monsters out of your head.

We’re not perfect creatures. We need to sleep, we need to recharge our batteries, and we need to stop and get our bearings. At least once a year. So don’t beat yourself up for the occasional down period. We all have them, and the healthiest folks just roll with it. It’s not good to repress this stuff.

It only becomes a problem when you sink into clinical depression. That’s the cold, empty state where nothing looks good, and hope is an absurd memory.

I’ve been there. Several times. The year I turned 30 (for example) I lost my job, my girlfriend and my place to live all within a 45-day stretch.

That shit can wear you down.

Now, I have two things to say about this:

Thing Numero Uno: If you think you’re losing a grip on your mental state, seek professional help. Don’t head straight for pharmaceutical land, though — give “talk therapy” a try with a real, qualified psychotherapist.

Choose this therapist carefully. You’re going to dump every secret you have on him. You may need to plow through a couple to find one that clicks with you (just as you might have to try out several dentists or plumbers to get a good match). (And yes, you should regard this therapist just as you would your dentist — they’re not gonna become your new best friend, but they will bring a professional expertise to the table during the time you need them. And you only need to see them until you get your head straight… which might be a short time or long time. Again — just like you may need serious dental work, or just a cleaning once a year. Figure it out.)

Keep in mind the fact that everyone goes through bumpy emotional states. And that the percentage of people who actually do lose it every year is rather small.

That’s why talking about your problems with someone who has perspective can be so beneficial — the first thing you learn is that you aren’t alone. And what you’re going through is not abnormal.

Most of the time, you’re probably going to be fine. Even when your problems seem overwhelming. There are tools available to help your brain cope. You don’t often come across these tools on your own.

This kind of talk-therapy is one of the few times the “science” of psychology earns its keep — because finding out how others successfully dealt with the same nonsense you’re suffering through can change everything. Seriously — often, just discovering that you’re not alone in what you’re going through, that others have successfully navigated similar troubles, and that the folks who study human behavior and thinking patterns now have really simple (and super-effective) ways to obliterate feeling overwhelmed can solve much of what’s currently holding you back.

A good book to read (while you’re waiting for the spring thaw) is “Learned Optimism” by Martin Seligman. I’ve recommended it before, and it deserves another nod. (The blurb on the back cover, from the New York Times Book Review, starts with “Vaulted me out of my funk…”)

I haven’t read the book in a few years, but I remember the main lesson well. A study, explained up front, stands out: Someone tested the “happiness” quotient of a vast sample of people, including Holocaust survivors.

And it turns out that, at some point in your life, Abraham Lincoln was right — you are as happy as you decide to be.

This is startling news to anyone lost in despair. Because it seems like you’ve been forced to feel that way. With no choice.

But it’s not the case. The happiness study revealed that you can not tell from a person’s current attitude what sort of trauma they had gone through earlier in life. People who had suffered horribly could be happy as larks, while silver-spoon never-stubbed-a-toe folks were miserable.

The difference? Attitude. Optimistic people work through setbacks and trauma… while pessimists settle into a funk that can’t be budged.

And it’s a CHOICE. At some point in your life, you choose to either live in gloom or sunlight.

This realization rocks many folk’s boat. Especially the pessimists. They dominate society, politics, business, everything. And they are very protective of their gloom and doom outlook. Invested, heavily, in proving themselves right about the inherent nastiness of life.

Maybe you’re one of ‘em.

If you are, you’re killing yourself, dude.

The guys in lab coats who study this stuff say that heart disease rates are HALF for optimists over pessimists. So, even if you doubt the ability to measure “happiness” — and it is a rather rocky science — you still can’t deny the stats on dropping dead from a gloomy ticker.

Now, I am most assuredly NOT a clear-eyed optimist. I get creepy feelings around people who are too happy all the time.

But I do prefer having a good time, and appreciating the finer things in life (like a deep breath of cold alpine air, or the salty whip of an ocean wave around my ankles, or a secret smile from the wonderful woman I live with).

I’m just good at balancing out the bad with the good.

Being in direct response helps. Lord knows, there’s a LOT of bad with every piece of good news in this wacky biz.

Gary Halbert and I had a term we used for years: We’re “pessimistic optimists”. (Or maybe we’re optimistic pessimists. I forget.)

How does that work? Easy.

We expected horrible atrocities at every turn… and rejoiced when we defied Fate and unreasonable success rained down on our undeserving heads. We grooved on the good stuff in life… and just nodded sagely at the bad stuff and moved past it as quickly as possible. Maybe cop a lesson or two as we scurried by.

If you focus on the bad things that can go wrong, you’ll never crawl out of bed in the morning.

When you finally realize that — not counting health problems — pretty much everything bad that business, or relationships, or politics can throw at you will not kill you… then you can begin to relax.

And eagerly court the Unknown by starting another project.

Have you ever had your heart broken? Hurts like hell, doesn’t it. Feels like your life is over.

Well, from my perspective, sitting here at “way past 50” and pretty darned happy, all those romances-gone-wrong that broke my heart long ago look just plain silly now. And my resulting deep depressions — where I was sure my life was over — are just tiresome lessons I had to get through.

Not a one of those ladies was worth a burp of angst. They were fine people, I’ll agree to that. A few were exceptional (and very skilled at certain man-pleasing arts).

But worth a Shakespearean suicide?

No way.

It’s taken me a while, but I’m now a certified realist. My youthful idealism has drained away, and my brushes with hate-everything dogma never took.

And guess what? Contrary to what an embarrassingly huge number of self-righteous folks would have you believe… being a realist has not dented my passion for life one little bit. In fact, it has opened up a whole new world of unexplainable spirituality (which cannot be contained within any formal religion).

I’m not against religion. Let’s have no “save my soul” emails here. One of my favorite friends to argue with has a doctorate in theology. And I have many other friends committed to various belief systems ranging from fundamentalist to Buddhist to humanist. We get along because, on a deep level, we understand that true spirituality transcends whatever way you choose to express it or appreciate it.

I loathe black-and-white views of the world. It’s a shame that our great country has descended to this “you’re nuts if you don’t agree with me” mentality… but it’s part of the pendulum that’s been swinging back and forth ever since we left the jungle.

Mushy liberals seem astonished that anyone would ever not love us, or want to destroy our culture. Repressed conservatives seem intent on crushing everyone who pisses them off (and that’s a lot of people).

It’s “whatever” versus “blind obedience”. And neither works so hot in the real world. I have no use for dogma, or idealism, or punishingly-harsh rules that have been cooked up by hypocrites.

Hey — I’m in no position to tell anyone how to live their life. I’ve screwed up plenty, and if I have any wisdom at all, it’s only because I’ve survived some truly hairy situations.

But I don’t believe anyone else is in a position to tell you how to live, either. That’s gotta be your decision.

And it’s a damn hard one to make.

Fortunately, while I can’t tell you how to live, I can move some smooth (and proven) advice in your direction. Take it or leave it… but give it a listen anyway, cuz my track record on successful advice-giving is fairly impressive.

And I’m telling you that having a hateful, brooding attitude will stunt your growth. It will make you a smaller person, a less-wise person, an older and feebler person. And you won’t grow. Not spiritually, not physically, not emotionally. Not in your business life, either.

Most people don’t want to grow, anyway. Growth only comes from movement and change… and the vast majority of the folks walking the earth with us today are terrified of change.

You can’t blame them, really. Change is a form of death. Whatever was before, dies. And whatever comes next must be nurtured with devotion and sacrifice.

That’s hard. That’s a hard way to live, always dying and being reborn.

And because it’s hard, it’s avoided.

Well, screw that.

I suspect, if you’re reading this, you are not afraid of change. But you may not yet understand the power that REALLY giving yourself to change offers.

And that brings us to…

Thing Numero Dos: Goals are all about change.

That’s a subtle point many people gloss over. Rookie goal-setters often get stuck on stuff like quitting smoking, or vague concepts like “become a better person”.

Or “get rich”.

That seldom works. Goals need to be specific… and they need to involve profound change in order to take hold.

Halbert often talked about “image suicide” — the necessity of killing and burying the “self” you are so heavily invested in, before you can move to a new level of success.

I see this all the time in my consultations. Biz owners refuse to do even slightly risky marketing, for fear of damaging their “reputations.”

And my question to them is: What reputation?

Unless you’re the top dog in your niche, no one gives a rat’s ass about what you think or do. No one is looking at your marketing for inspiration or condemnation, because you aren’t the guy to look at.

No. What these scaredy-cats are talking about when they say “reputation” is what their family and friends think of them. And that’s a sure sign of a losing attitude. That ain’t Operation MoneySuck.

My colleague Ron LeGrand, the real estate guru, is one of the best natural salesmen I’ve ever met. The guy understands the fundamental motivating psychology of a prospect at a master’s level. And he knows that one of the major obstacles he faces in every sale… is what the prospect’s spouse (usually the wife) will say.

She can nix the sale with a sneer. Or she can nix it in the prospect’s head, as he imagines that sneer.

Ron counters both sides of the objection expertly. He encourages the prospect to get his spouse involved in the decision, so she becomes invested in it. Or, he suggests waiting until the first big check comes in… and letting the money explain to her about what you’re up to.

This is the reality of most people’s lives. As much as they want what you offer… they are terrified of making a mistake. Cuz they’ll pay dearly for it at home.

It’s a huge deal-killer.

That’s why you include lots of “reason why” copy in your pitch — to give your buyer ammunition for explaining his decision to the doubters in his life. However, as Ron knows, the best (and simplest) “reason why” is results.

Money, as they say, talks.

The top marketers seldom give a moment’s thought to what a risky tactic might do to their “reputation”. They don’t really care what people think about them. You can’t bank criticism.

I know many marketers who are involved in projects they are passionate about… but which bore their spouses to tears. Some (like Howard Stern’s former wife) are even deeply embarrassed. But they don’t complain too much. Because the money’s so good.

Aw, heck. I could go on and on about this. The story of Rodale’s shock and dismay at the brutally-honest ad I wrote for their timid “sex book” is a great example. They refused to mail it, because of their “reputation”. Yet, after it accidentally did mail, and became a wildly-successful control for 5 years, they suddenly decided their reputation could handle it after all.

The people who get the most done in life are all extreme risk-takers. They embrace change, because growth is impossible without it.

But you don’t go out and start changing things willy-nilly.

You need goals.

And you need a plan.

Now, there are lots of books out there that tell you how to set goals. I recently found, in a moldy banker’s box, the ad for Joe Karbo’s book “The Lazy Man’s Way To Riches” that I’d responded to back in 1982. The exact ad! With the order form torn out… it was the first direct mail pitch I’d ever encountered, and it changed my life forever. Joe’s book was essentially a treatise on setting goals. And it’s good.

It was a wake-up call for me. I’m having that crinkly old ad framed. Can’t imagine why I kept it, but I did. Pack-rat riches.

If you can’t find that particular book, there are dozens of newer goal-setting guides on the shelves. But they’re all based on the same formula:

1. Decide what you want.

2. Write it down, and be specific.

3. Read the list often, imaging as you read that you have already achieved each goal.

What this does is alter the underpinnings of your unconscious. When one of your goals is to earn a million bucks this year, and that goal burns bright in the back of your mind, each decision you make will be influenced.

So, for example, you won’t accept a permanent job somewhere that pays $50,000 a year. Cuz that isn’t going to help you attain your goal.

The problem is this: To earn a mil in a year, you need to average around $50,000 every two weeks. This is why it can take a while to get your goal-setting chops honed. As I’ve said many times, most folks don’t know what they want.

And they aren’t prepared for the changes necessary to get what they want, once they do decide on a goal.

What kind of guy earns $50,000 every two weeks, like clockwork? It takes a certain level of business savvy to create that kind of steady wealth. It doesn’t fall into your lap.

What kind of guy makes a windfall of a million bucks in one chunk? That’s another kind of savvy altogether.

In that same moldy banker’s box, I also found a bunch of my early goal lists. And I’m shocked at how modest my aims were. At the time — I was in the first months of going out on my own, a totally pathetic and clueless rookie — I couldn’t even imagine earning fifty K a year. My first goal was $24,000 as a freelancer. And to score a better rental to live in. Find a date for New Year’s. Maybe buy a new used car.

Listen carefully: I met those goals. As modest as they were, it would have been hard not to. I needed them to be modest, because I was just getting my goal-setting chops together. And I wasn’t sure if I was wasting my time even bothering to set goals.

Let me assure you, it was NOT a waste of time.

The lists I found covered several later years, too. And what’s fascinating is that many of the more specific goals I set down were crossed out — I wanted those goals, but didn’t feel confident about obtaining them.

So I crossed them out, and forgot about them.

A couple of decades later, I realize that I’ve attained every single one of those “forgotten” goals. The big damn house, the love of my life, the professional success, even the hobbies and the guitars and the sports car.

I’m stunned. This is powerful voodoo here.

The universe works in mysterious ways, and you don’t have to belong to a religion to realize this. The whole concept of “ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened” was well-known by successful people long before Luke and Matthew wrote it down.

The keys are action. Movement.

Ask, seek, knock.

These simple actions will change your life forever.

Back to making a million in a year: Some guys know what they need to do to make this goal real. They’ve done it before, or they’ve come close.

Setting the goal is serious business for them… because they are well aware of the tasks they’ve assigned themselves. Take on partners, put on seminars, create ad campaigns, build new products. Get moving on that familiar path.

I’ve known many people who started the year with such a goal… who quickly modified it downward as the reality of the task became a burden. Turns out they didn’t really want the whole million after all. Half of that would suffice just fine. To hell with the work required for the full bag of swag.

Other guys don’t know what they need to do to earn a mil. So their goal really is: Find out what I need to do to earn a million bucks.

Their initial tasks are to ask, seek, and knock like crazy. And change the way they move and act in the world. Because they must transform themselves into the kind of guy who earns a million bucks in one year.

Right now, they aren’t that guy.

So, for example, reading “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People” suddenly becomes an “A” task, while remodeling the kitchen gets moved to the back of the burner. Sharpening your ability to craft a killer sales pitch becomes more important than test-driving the new Porsche.

More important, even, than dating Little Miss Perfect. And test-driving her new accessories.

Tough choice?

Nope. When you get hip to the glory of focused change, you never lament leaving the “old” you behind.

It will be hard, sometimes, no doubt about it. Especially when you discover your old gang no longer understands you, or mocks your ambition. They liked the old, non-threatening you. They want him to come back.

But you’ve changed. And hot new adventures are going to take up a lot more of your time now.

My trick to setting goals is very simple:

Every January 15th, I sit down and write myself a letter, dated exactly one year ahead.

And I describe, in that letter, what my life is like a year hence. (So, in 2012, for example, I dated the letter to myself as January 15, 2013.)

It’s a subtle difference to the way other people set goals. Took me a long time to figure it out, too.

For many years, I wrote out goals like “I live in a house on the ocean”, and “I earn $24,000 a year”. And that worked. But it was like pushing my goals.

Writing this letter to myself is more like pulling my goals. For me, this works even better. Every decision I make throughout the year is unconsciously influenced, as I am pulled toward becoming the person I’ve described.

But here’s where I do it very differently: My goals are deliberately in the “whew” to “no friggin’ way” range. Mega-ambitious, to downright greedy.

There’s a sweet spot in there — doable, if I commit myself, but not so outrageous that I lose interest because the required change is too radical.

I’m pretty happy with myself these days. Took me a long, hard slog to get here, and I earned every step. And I want to continue changing, because I enjoy change. But I don’t need to reinvent myself entirely anymore.

So here’s what makes this ambitious goal-setting so effective: I don’t expect to REACH most of them.

In fact, I’m happy to get half of what I wanted.

There’s a ton of psychology at work there. The person I describe a year away often resembles James Bond more than the real me. Suave, debonair, flush, famous, well-traveled… and in peak health. I hit all the big ones.

However, long ago I realized that trying to be perfect was a sure way to sabotage any goal I set. Perfectionists rarely attain anything, because they get hung up on the first detail that doesn’t go right.

Being a good goal-setter is more like successful boxing — you learn to roll with the punches, cuz you’re gonna get hit.

You just stay focused on the Big Goal. And you get there however you can.

I’m looking at last year’s letter. I was a greedy bastard when I wrote it, and I didn’t come close to earning the income figure I set down.

Yet, I still had my best year ever.

And — here’s the kicker — I would NOT have had such a great year, if I wasn’t being pulled ahead by that letter. There were numerous small and grand decisions I made that would have gone another way without the influence of what I had set down.

I didn’t travel to the places I had listed. But I did travel to other, equally-fun places. I didn’t finish that third novel. But I did position it in my head, and found the voice I want for narration. That’s a biggie. That was a sticking point that would have kept the novel from ever getting finished.

Now, it’s on power-glide.

There’s another “hidden” benefit to doing this year-ahead letter: It forces you to look into the future.

A lot of people make their living peering ahead and telling everyone else what to expect. Most do a piss-poor job of it — weathermen are notorious for getting it wrong, as are stock market analysts, wannabe trend-setters, and political prognosticators.

Yet, they stay in business. Why? Because the rest of the population is terrified of looking into the future. That would require some sincere honesty about their current actions… since what the future holds is often the consequence of what you’re doing right now.

If you’re chain-smoking, chasing street hookers, and living on doughnuts, your future isn’t pretty. For example.

Or if you’ve maxed out all your credit cards, and haven’t done your due diligence to start bringing in moolah, your future isn’t nice, either.

No one can “see” into the future for real. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. In fact, it’s easy, when you have a little experience in life.

Things you do today will have consequences tomorrow. If you put up a website today for a product, and you do everything you can to bring traffic to it and capture orders… your consequence can be pretty and nice.

Sure, you may get hit by a bus while fetching the morning paper… but letting that possibility scare you off of trying for something better is for pessimists (who are scheduled for early checkout).

You have enormous control over your future.

And once you realize that, you can set out to start shaping it.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. If you’re one of those people who’ve been skimming blogs like this… never reading anything carefully and slowly, and digesting what’s on the page… then I have one more suggestion for you: Stop doing that.

Most of the uber-successful folks I know (and I know a lot) have both skimming skills AND “deep reading” skills. And they know when to use them. You skim to get overviews, which may turn out to be flawed (because you missed something crucial in your skimming). You deep-read when you want to absorb something important, and you need to make the impression of what you read stick in your brain.

Right now, there are readers here who should be seriously considering the courses and opportunities I offer in the right-hand column of this blog. This is the stuff that has launched freelance careers, transformed biz owners into ad-writing monsters, and armed both rookie and veteran entrepreneurs with the fundamentally awesome skills of success. Quickly, and with the surety of proven-in-the-real-world tactics and advice.

So stop screwing around. If you need further help in getting your career going, or in crafting the kind of marketing that will boost profits through the roof… then consider the offerings on this page an essential task in your new list of goals. This is the real deal. No fluff, no nonsense — just honest, solid, proven stuff from a respected veteran of biz success.

Meanwhile, get busy with your January 15th letter.

P.P.S. One of your main goals, if you’re a serious entrepreneur and you haven’t mastered slamming out world-class copy yet for your bad self… is to GET bad-ass at it as soon as humanly possible. I don’t care how you do it — find a mentor, start experimenting with one of the many courses or coaching programs out there…

… or, as I recommend, just dive into The Simple Writing System, and be done with your learning curve in just a very short time.

Give yourself at least the OPTION of deciding yes-or-no, with some background, by going to this site and seeing what’s up. At the very least, read some of the testimonials, to get a taste of how powerful the transformation in your life and career can be when you finally get hip to writing salesmanship-infused copy like this.

Saturday, 1:10pm
Reno, NV
“Ah, but I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now…” (Bob Dylan, “My Back Pages”)

Howdy…

A lot of my social media focus lately has been on Facebook. As much as I distrust and mildly despise The Zuck, I have to hand it to the little sociopath for figuring out a dynamic that allows for real interaction with folks…

… which lasts, on average, around one to three days. Then, even the most viral post disappears down the social media rathole and is gone forever.

So I like to rescue some of the better posts I’ve carved into the FB newsfeed, and stack ‘em up here on the blog… where they’ll survive in the archives for as long as this rickety thing exists. (We’re officially at the decade mark, by the way. Ten years of posting monthly… except for January of 2012, where I inadvertently didn’t publish an intended article in time, so the archives have that single hole in them. That’s pretty freakin’ awesome.)

Anyway, no need for context here. If you’d enjoy seeing the comment threads on any of these posts, just hop over to my FB page (where you should already be following me, anyway, what are you thinking?). It’s www.facebook.com/john.carlton.

And, as always, I love to hear what you’re thinking in the comments here (where I often hang out and interact).

By the way… that photo up top is from the big damn AWAI seminar I was a featured speaker at, back in October. Everything about the photo (and yes, that’s Dan Kennedy sitting with us) is explained in the Psych Insights For Modern Marketers podcast I link to below (in one of the posts) (and yes, this is a tease to get you to read this entire thing).

Enjoy the year-end Facebook roundup:

Take This To The Bank, Part 11: Most people’s daily actions (eating, buying, loving, hating, grooming, working, all of it) are based on beliefs… which they regard as “true”.

You better grok this, if you want to communicate with, sell to, or persuade folks in any way.

As irrational and unfounded in reality as these belief systems can be, they become unshakeable foundations for all behavior, thought and decisions.

Rookie copywriters like to bowl readers over with facts and data and science. Yawn. These are humans you’re writing to. Reality is very subjective, and by the time perception gets past the internal obstacle course of flawed senses, emotional distress, and knee-jerk denial… your facts will get ambushed and slaughtered as efficiently as a 30’s-era mob hit.

But it’s the same with a business well-run. And a career with lofty goals. Even a project you’ve thrown yourself into. Or a single day of enthusiastic productivity.

The world spins in the greased grooves of stories. All around you, and deeply intertwined with your very existence, are stories of romance, harrowing adventure, small and large heroic episodes, and the fascinating history of your impact on everything you touch. Yes, you.

Recognizing these stories, and molding them into snarling tales with a set-up, a point, and a punchline or lesson, can kick you into a higher level of conscious living. The slumbering masses ignore, deny and deflate their stories… and yet, the hunger in all of us for well-told tales is never sated.

There’s no big secret to success. It’s not the moolah or power you accumulate… it’s the wealth of experience, feelings, brain stimulation, and your impact on others generated by living large.

It’s hard to become, and stay conscious. Your stories help you catalog the good stuff, and keep you enmeshed with all the other actors in your life’s movie.

The best marketing is alive with stories, because it’s all just an extension of life well-lived.

Go chew up some scenery. The only real crime in the universe is squandering this unique, scary and wonderful existence you woke up with today…

—

Can I bitch about something here? That’s a good use of social media, isn’t it, bitching about stuff?

I have a little insight to how people behave, after a lifetime studying you. (Yes, you.) We’re whacky, no doubt about it.

But let me get this straight: You’re in a vehicle weighing, what, nearly two tons. Driving, usually too fucking fast for conditions, amongst many other vehicles weighing just as much, or more. Like metal beasts lumbering about the Pleistocene savannah, only with tinier brains.

Folks, do you really think running red lights is a good idea? Cig in one hand, phone in the other, steering with your pinkies and blowing lights at 15 over the speed limit…

… this makes sense to you? You’re invulnerable, against all the other metal behemoths crowding the road, with gnarly grills just itching to chew through your side door?

I’m degrading my opinion of humans again. Down to maybe 4.5 on the devolution point scale.

Ya friggin’ idiots. (Not you. Those other friggin’ idiots…)

—

Okay, I know you’re still stuck for a great gift idea for that special entrepreneur in your life (who could, of course, be you).

Not easy to please, entrepreneurs. They can be kinda grumpy about the tools they use to jack up the mojo in their projects.

So here’s another suggestion: The game-changing “Kick Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel” course (which remains one the essential dog-eared most-used manuals in many Top Dog’s offices) is a nice little transformation bomb you can plant on anyone in biz and get a big kiss in return.

Plus, you know, you’ll be helping to change their life trajectory, just as this little course has helped thousands of other entrepreneurs, small biz owners and freelancers.

It’s the original “how to” manual that launched (or rescued) a gazillion online and offline biz ventures, and turned many cockeyed wild ideas into moolah-belching juggernauts for a generation of entrepreneurs. More than simply still “relevant”, it’s never lost being spot-on, timeless advice, with specific tactics that have never stopped working in marketing.

Memo to writers everywhere: A strange confluence of coincidences has created an interesting story here, regarding writers who give a flying shit about truth, the integrity of research and investigation, and living in the deep end of life’s pool (rather than barely getting wet in the shallows).

The fictional series “Newsroom” on HBO is currently in the middle of a plot line (which obviously was recorded many moons ago) that is being mimicked in REAL LIFE by the turmoil over at the New Republic… and it concerns a sub-plot that may (in REAL LIFE) affect your career.

Ignore the political stuff, if it bothers you. I follow news sources from every whacky end of the American political spectrum (so I know what even the scariest amongst you are obsessing on)… just grow up and get past it.

The sub-plot I’m referring to is nouveau riche young guns exerting some righteous Brave New World wrath on “old journalism” sources… by buying the joints, and destroying them.

In their eyes, it’s “disruption = great new stuff happening” — the ethos that made Silicon Valley rich and powerful.

In reality, it’s “click-bait = chaos and weak-ass journalism”, the nightmare of putting naive people with little real world experience in charge of informing the rest of us.

I’ve seen this happen with multiple online resources I used to trust. Almost overnight, they’ve gone from worthy sources of well-thought-out and well-written stories (that follow basic journalistic ethics of research and backing up angles)…

… to puff pieces on celebs, viral bullshit, and trending word clusters that get clicks. Oh, which are also poorly written, with no conscious editing, mired in first-person “this is how I feel” stories with no point. Just get Kim Kardasian into the headline.

This is NOT new in journalism, folks. Good, ethical news publications have always been outsold by tabloids… rumors and envy-laced rage has always trumped solid reporting… and shallow curiosity beats deep thought every time.

Every writer — including copywriters, script writers, speech writers, article writers, all of us — has to make a choice at some point. Are you gonna go for the easy bucks, and let ethics slide…

… or are you going to challenge yourself, take risky chances to get to a deeper level, and become a REAL writer?

You may earn less, you know. You will walk away from lucrative gigs, refuse to take the big checks from unethical clients, and lose jobs by insisting on doing what’s right (rather than what’s easy, and possibly more profitable).

It’s not one huge initial choice, either. It’s an ongoing series of choices in life, that constantly dog you. No job is safe from invasion by barbarians. No niche is a paradise of truth and ethics, once competition arrives.

The fiction of “Newsroom” can rattle you (and, yes, occasionally irritate you, too).

The reality of what just happened to a century-old magazine (New Republic) IS rattling, and IS irritating.

Young people — even stupid-wealthy ones — are not the problem. This isn’t a generational issue.

The future of a click-bait-driven media is not pretty. It’s 1984-level social thuggery in action, lulling the masses to sleep while The Man reclaims his throne.

You think we’re immune from gulags and crushing behavioral control?

Us writers will be among the first to be imprisoned and hung up on the wall, Handmaid-Tale-style, when the shit hits the fan (and few will notice, because the story may not go viral or get clicks).

The red flags are flying, folks.

Choose carefully.

—

Brand-spanking new podcast now posted… for free, y’all… at the usual site. Psych Insights for Modern Marketers (or pi4mm dot com) (notice how I disguised the domain name, so Zuck wouldn’t spot it and bury this post?).

All about the fastest way to sneak into the “inside” of the high-flying copywriter world (with specifics on using to get on the inside of ANY target situation, market, business, or glee club).

Road dogs have more fun that you do, and automatically get hauled behind the curtain and into the secret world of the movers/shakers. Extremely overlooked gig, and very few folks have a clue what it is, how to do it, and why you SHOULD do it.

Top “A List” copywriters who’ve written multiple gazillion-dollar campaigns have road-dogged for me. Even after they’ve become famous and rich. Why?

Then write. Writers write. And rewrite, and study language and persuasion and communication, and rewrite some more putting the new skills to work immediately (constantly jettisoning the bad tactics and exercising the good ones).

Have this tattooed on your amygdala: Writers write.

This requires hours every day of solitary work. Extroverts can do the gig, but it’s easier for introverts (who are often awkward in jobs that require social skills). Both types can thrive, but only by sitting down and focusing.

Write. Write, write, write. Keep journals, exchange emails with other writers, always have a book cooking, read good writers and study their technique, and write well every time you craft a sentence. Make your To Do Lists sizzle with good verb choices. Pen emails that others actually print out and keep. Keep notepads nearby at all times, and wear your ink-stained shirts with pride. And rewrite everything before you let it out into the world. Edit, sculpt, and fortify everything you write.

The scribe guild was one of the first to manifest after civilization formed. Your writing skills can change the world… or bore folks to tears.

Real writers write. If it’s painful to write, you’re probably not suited to the gig.

Just sayin’…

—

Ancient “uncle” advice you’re welcome to ignore: You never really know someone, until you’ve seen how they react to being cold, wet, tired, hungry and lost.

It’s possible to spend a lifetime around someone, and never see under the masks. That’s certainly what many folks aspire to, never being exposed. Even Brave New World types who claim to embrace lives with no privacy or secrets are hiding shit from their friends and loved ones.

Most people never even truly understand themselves. Too scary. So the delusions pile up.

I feel lucky to have gone through Boy Scouts as a kid. I hated the quasi-militaristic culture, the mindless conformity, the way they frowned on mumbly-peg knife games and blowing shit up.

But, I’ll be darned, it sure gave me the opportunity to see how I dealt with being cold, wet, tired, hungry… and lost. In the woods. With other Scouts, who were NOT handling it well…

The best lessons in life come from disasters. Anyone who grows up having it too easy is pretty much guaranteed to be an unconscious azzhole as an adult, without empathy or clues on living well and playing well with others.

What do you think? Bad advice?

—

Department of Jealousy, Envy and Schadenfreude: One of the best coping tactics I picked up early in my career… when I was constantly having to face down new clients who were richer, better looking, more self-assured and louder than me… was the “what’s the REAL story” angle.

Here’s how it goes: When you first deal with biz folks, you’ll encounter a lot of ego and confusing status wrangling… because to survive in many biz environments, you’re either a Big Dog or you’re the poop bag dispenser. So folks scramble, lie, cheat and steal their way to positions of confidence and power.

And as you gain experience, you learn quickly that nearly all of it is a total sham. In fact, the “real story” behind the bluster, facade, masks and attitude is often the complete opposite of what’s presented. Cut any financial claim you hear in half, right off the bat. Figure that most boasting about happiness is flimsy denial. And particularly assume that anytime anyone says “money is not a problem”, that money is VERY MUCH a problem.

Freelance copywriters are privy to the real story behind the biz, the product, and everyone in the office. When you do the job correctly, you never turn off your “detective” chops (cuz hooks hide).

And very quickly, you will discover what a rickety artifice most of society and the culture is. Be happy it works, but do not be intimidated by anyone, ever.

Chances are, once you know the back-story, you wouldn’t want to spend five minutes inside their skin… no matter how awesome they present their lives to the general public.

Learn to be happy in your own skin, and you can rule the world.

—

Sorry, it’s the best advice I can give you: Early in your career, get your butt kicked (virtually, please) as often as possible, in every area that defines your gig. Learn your lesson, fix whatever’s missing or weak in your skill set, and get back in the game ready to do measurably better.

That’s it. Those who never fail are playing it too safe (or are just lying mofo’s protecting a sordid past). The key isn’t failing, however — it’s the lesson-learning thing.

Heck, it’s easy to fail, marinate in humiliation and believe you’re cursed, or unlucky, or being punished by the universe.

Much, much harder to buckle down and go deep into what happened, using critical thinking and goal-achievement tactics to figure it out… and do it so well that you’re actually itching for another at-bat in the same situation, so you can put your new info, skills and attitude to the test again.

Pro’s don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves, or keeping score of wins and losses. They work at getting better, all the time, and they aren’t terrified of mysteries or difficult problems. Every major step up in their career started out as a mystery or difficult problems. It’s what pro’s eat for breakfast.

Few people want to hear this kind of advice, of course. Much easier to believe there’s some “secret” to succeeding that requires little work, and rescues you from ever feeling bad or being blamed. It’s gotta be out there, It says so on the teevee machine…

Pro’s grind. Wannabe’s whine.

—

I’ve had around 5 mid-life crises, starting back when I hit thirty.

I enjoyed the hell out of each one (though sometimes reluctantly, since each one arrived as a “crisis” and I was deep in change and turmoil, sometimes for years).

So I’m a bit of an expert. And I discovered there are two kinds of mid-life crisis:

1. You realize you’re not happy with what you have, and you need to try something else (though you’re not quite sure what)…

2. Or, you realize you haven’t achieved what you wanted to achieve. And you need to get on your horse.

Both involve an “uh oh” reaction deep inside, one so profound it’s like an 7.5 earthquake in your system… providing a panicked sense of motivation and energy.

Which can either go well, or badly for you.

Abrupt change, not planned out very well and relying on untested gut feelings and vague notions of what might “make you happy” is a recipe for disaster.

On the other hand, an urgent period of planning, including having escape routes and Plan B alternatives… along with self-knowing goal-setting that is attainable and reasonably realistic…

… can transform your life. And limit the collateral damage in the people and things around you.

Too many folks just ignore that rumble deep inside (of wanting “something else”) until it explodes… and then they become the bull in a china shop, trying to change without direction or plan or help.

That’s fucked up. Living a full life means constantly asking yourself the hard questions, exploring the things your heart desires, test-driving the possibilities, and critically examining your experiences and lessons learned. So you get to know yourself better.

It’s only a real “crisis” if you turn it into one. The better way to look at it is as another fork in your life’s path, an expected and welcome sign that you’re changing from who you were yesterday into who you’ll be tomorrow…

… and this change sometimes has profound implications for your life, and the life of those around you.

Don’t be the bull. Start examining yourself, and your life and goals, and come to terms with where you’re at on your ticket, what’s left for the ride, and how you want to embrace this new, slightly shorter, and age-modified person you’re becoming.

You really can enjoy the whole process, and keep everyone and everything you love intact (and even happy) while still getting after what you really want.

Just sayin’. I didn’t get to be a happy grizzled veteran of life the easy way, you know, and sometimes I’ve got good advice to share…

—

Best Advice Ever #33: Do you understand the difference between “shame” and “remorse”? Most do not. And suffer for it.

The “voice” of shame is: “I’m a bad person.”

The voice of remorse is: “I’m a good person who screwed up. I will fix what I broke, clean up my mess, make amends if possible… and not just vow to do better, but actually take steps to learn HOW to do better next time.”

Much easier to just feel ashamed, and believe the guilt you agonize over is enough punishment to even things out. Don’t change, refuse to do the hard work of growing the fuck up, and just continue on your current path of sleep-walking.

You’ll always have plenty of company by choosing shame and never doing anything proactive to learn new behaviors or new skills. You may even enjoy snoozing through life.

But then, you just may like the new company better as you wake up and grow…

—

In the midst of all this wonderful holiday hubbub and chaos, take some time to just relax and gather your thoughts. Quiet room, Rhino’s “DooWop Xmas” collection on the box, another glass of eggnog (okay, you’ve had enough already, but hey, it’s the holidays) (you’ll work off the extra ounces later, no worries) (okay, the pounds, you’ll work off the pounds later, just get off my case and let me enjoy this)…

… maybe a good book. One that makes you laugh, gives you some good tips on changing your life for the better (starting right after the New Year, of course), perhaps a little advice on piling up some big bucks, too.

Here’s my list of recommended books that fit the bill nicely:

1. “The Entrepreneur’s Guide To Getting Your Shit Together.”

2.

Okay, there is no number 2. Just get the “Entrepreneur’s Guide” here, and treat yourself to a transformation in thought, deed and good humor. Starting right now.

Mmm, that eggnog needs a bit more rum, don’t you think?

—

And that’s it for the year-end roundup.

Hope you have a great holiday, don’t get thrown in the clink on New Year’s Eve (“Amateur Drunk Night”, as we call it), and let’s reconnoiter here again early in January to start kickin’ some serious business butt, and start making all your dreams come true.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. The end of 2014 also brought the passing of an early mentor, and he’s worth memorializing here again. This is what I posted a few weeks ago:

One of my first writing mentors, Jim Rutz (who was also arguably the co-inventor of the magalog, which now dominates large-scale direct mail campaigns), has passed away. It’s a sad day.

I ghost-wrote direct mail packages for Jim over the course of an entire year, after being paired with him by my much-missed agent John Finn, the first of several mentoring arrangements I was lucky to toil through. Jim was a brutal taskmaster, an over-the-top great teacher, and one of the most skilled “pure” writers I’ve ever met. Also one of the most eccentric, and while he and I existed in completely different worlds, his advice for me to let my freak flag fly (not his words, of course) helped me create my own global reputation. (I mentioned him, in fact, while passing on this advice during my speech at AWAI in October.)

I worked harder writing for Jim than I ever had, before or after that ghost-writing period. It was the best way to grow quickly as a pro, much like the classic Karate Kid’s instruction. He later mentored other A-List writers (like David Deutsch), and remained one of the top two or three “first choice” writers of the largest mail houses in the world his entire career.

… and promised to answer the best 5 questions posed in an experimental “Bug The Grizzled Pro” post. I just wanted to see what was bothering folks, holding them up, disrupting sleep and profits and happiness.

I was pretty damned impressed with the level of questions that poured in, too. Finding 5 good ones was easy. Answering them required my full focus… and the stuff is good.

So, just to make sure this advanced Q&A isn’t lost in the mire of Facebook (where stuff fades away forever), I’ve posted the entire exchange here. (If you want to see the comments, you’ll have to go to my Facebook page and root around in the posts for the week of November 9-14. And while you’re there, thrilling to the banter, trolling, and fevered debate, sign up to follow me, why don’tcha?)

Here’s the relevant posts. Enjoy:

Post #1:

Bug The Grizzled Pro: Anything you’d like to ask me about, or see me rant about here or on the blog?

I’ll never run out of my own ideas (you oughta see the cluster-mess of untapped stories, advice, epiphanies and general bullshit roiling around in my head)…

… (just be happy you aren’t experiencing this kind of internal chaos yourself)…

… but I’m always happy to see what folks are curious about.

I mean, really — how often do you get a chance to strafe the deck of a veteran, seen-it-all professional like this?

Give it a shot. The worst that can happen is public humiliation, or accidental enlightenment that forces you to change your life (or something in-between).

Don’t be a coward. Ask.

I’ll answer the first… um… five good questions during the week. But they gotta be good…

Post #2:

The Grizzled Pro Speaks, Part One: Hey, some really good questions came out of Sunday’s FB post “Bug The Grizzled Pro”. I promised to answer the best 5 during the week, and I shall. (You can continue to post more questions, to your heart’s content.)

Right off the bat, we got some killer subjects to dive into. David Ayad posts: “Share your opinion about the changes in the marketing world from the 90s compared to today? Marketing changes, copy changes, changes in the marketing community. Better now or then?…why?”

Actually, he cheated by mushing 7 questions into one… but the general idea is coherent.

Yes, there are massive changes to marketing that arrived with the viability of the Web as a way to find, sell and manage prospects. The main explosion came around 2002, when banks began offering online merchant accounts… and especially when my 90-year-old Pop mentioned he was getting certain medications from overseas, online, using his credit card. That was as major an announcement as I could ask for, that buying crap on the Web had gained legitimacy amongst the greater public.

Two major advantages were like an earthquake in the biz world: (1) If you had a pitch that worked to existing targeted lists (direct mail and magazine)… you now could reach nearly every single prospect who existed, globally. Instead of only being able to reach those who’d already bought or become a lead on a house list, or who subscribed to a particular magazine.

Your market, overnight, blew up from thousands to millions. It was so dramatic, it took a while for old-school marketers to even realize the implications.

(2) You could now test IN REAL TIME. Direct mail tests could take months, and magazine ad tests half a year to play out. Suddenly, especially with Adwords, you could direct enough traffic to a site to get statistically-significant results in an evening… and do A/B split tests seconds apart.

All over the planet, old-school marketers heads exploded. They were often like folks back at the beginning of air travel — the possibilities didn’t quite sink in immediately.

This meant there was a long period where younger, more tech-savvy entrepreneurs could thrive, often in hot markets with little or no competition. Low-hanging fruit, we called it. You could actually be the ONLY marketer in many highly-profitable markets…

… which meant that sloppy advertising worked like magic. You just needed to have a site that didn’t crash, with an easy way for folks to order. It was just like The Wild West, with few rules, no oversight, no regulations.

So a lot of people became experts simply by announcing they were. Tech savvy was often more critical than marketing savvy… until the competition got heavier. Slowly, the half-assed “I read one book on writing ads and made a gazillion bucks” online Wonder Kids had to either get better at the salesmanship part, or find freelancers who could jack up the quality of their pitches.

Understanding tech then began to segment out… so online marketing again resembled the advertising world of the nineties and earlier — there were media experts who couldn’t write copy, managers who didn’t understand salesmanship (but could wrangle a huge staff), and writers who could barely turn on a computer (but who could blast out killer ads that worked in every different medium used).

Joe Sugarman, back in the early nineties, could run an entire infomercial juggernaut (with his BluBlocker sunglasses) with a two-person shop — writing, filming, buying late-night cable spots, doing everything but actually producing the sunglasses — for several years. Today, countless entrepreneurs can create a deep biz model and write everything, build all the sites themselves, self-manage lists, and outsource what they don’t want (or need) to handle.

In general ways, it’s not that different. VSLs (video sales letters) are really just infomercials in a different format. Many old-school marketers (like Dan Kennedy), in fact, create all their VSLs using the identical models of writing and producing they used FOR informercials a decade ago.

I have many ads I wrote for direct mail and magazines back in the nineties now running as spoken-word, low-production-value VSLs… with minimal editing. Twenty-year-old copy, working just fine in a new vehicle.

So, the more things change, the more they evolve into very similar models. Not exactly, of course. But I witnessed online ads from the very beginning (and I was fooling around on the Web before it was even called the World Wide Web, as a hippie in Silicon Valley in the late seventies)…

… and while it may appear that many marketing tactics and techniques are “new”, it’s all really just a reboot of good salesmanship, taking full advantage of the larger markets and faster testing times.

In other words, it’s still just one human communicating with another human, negotiating a deal. The fundamentals of the conversation haven’t changed since the dawn of time. The details, however, have changed. Dramatically.

I like it, personally. I’d never sold anything to a Brazilian or a Chinese citizen or an African entrepreneur before the Web widened the audience for my crap to the entire globe.

I do think things have calmed down a bit — we won’t see model-morphing changes like Google, email, streaming video, or even social media, happening at such a rapid clip for a while. The Wild West has settled down, and it’s becoming a game of regulation, managing the competition, and learning how to operate a real business (something most entrepreneurs suck at, by the way).

There’s still a ton of disruption going on, and no one can predict what civilization will look like in ten years. (Wm Gibson, who predicted a lot of current online wonders in cyberpunk books like Neuromancer, for example, admits he never saw something like Facebook happening.)

But it’s more like the years after the revolution now — still different, still not settled, but the upheaval from pre-Enlightenment to post-Enlightenment thinking is over. It’s a brave new world… which just happens to echo much of the goofy old world world.

It’s significant that old-school dudes like Halbert, Kennedy, Makepeace and even my own scrawny ass have remained go-to advisors, marketing mentors, and top writers amidst all the technology changes.

The Web is freakin’ amazing. But it’s still just another vehicle for humans to do their thang. The vehicle — whether it’s television, drone delivery, direct mail, or brain implants — is still just the delivery system for your message.

And the fundamental message of selling hasn’t changed at all.

Jeez… can I even post something this long on FB? Will Zuck allow it?

Side note: If you like this kind of deep insight, advice and sharing, you may want to check out the ways to reach me (and even hang out) personally. Just go here — it’ll take you all of five minutes to see what’s up.

Okay. Continuing with the Facebook posts…

Post #3:

The Grizzled Pro Speaks, Part Two: Hope you liked “Part One”, just below this post.

Feel free to chime in, in the comments — we’re always open to new sub-threads around here. Don’t ask why — it’s complicated.

Anyway… the next question I’ve chosen is from our old pal Harlan Kilstein… who asks: “Since Facebook copy is similar to catalog copy, I’ve never seen you write about forced short copy. What are the critical elements in short copy that will drive people to long copy?”

Very interesting question. I hear it put different ways, but it all squeegies down to a basic writer’s problem: How do you distill larger ideas into tasty, bite-sized tidbits…

… that persuade the reader to continue reading elsewhere. Or to start reading a much more involved piece.

This is right in the wheelhouse of a grizzled, old-school veteran copywriter. In the Bad Old Days (before the Web) (yes, this time existed, and it wasn’t that freakin’ long ago, so shut up) there were almost always strict limits on the amount of copy you could write.

In newspapers, you could only shrink the typeface so far down, until it became unreadable… so if you wrote more copy than the space ad you bought could hold, you had to edit. And edit. And finagle and fuss and cram to make everything fit.

Key word there: “Fit.” Take a look at some older newspaper or magazine direct response ads — they’re dense with copy, to the point of making readers squint.

In direct mail, extra words could end up costing you massive wads of money. You had to keep first class mail (still do) under an ounce to avoid having to put extra stamps on your envelopes. (Go ask your Mom what a “stamp” is.)

Even third-class mail has weight limits. So writers who wanted controls were VERY concerned with the weight of the paper, the envelope, even the microscopic density of the ink used… because it took real engineering skill to make a standard 8-page letter, with reply coupon and BRE, lift note, and any other gew-gah the client demanded be tossed into the envelope come in under an ounce.

Failure meant huge stacks of printed, stamped envelopes being returned by the Post Office for “insufficient postage”. More stamps had to put on, making everyone very, very cranky… and instantly increasing the cost of your project by a whole bunch.

Good way to get fired, doing that.

On infomercials and radio spots, we could speed up the vocals to fit in more copy, but there was a sonic limit. Even chipmunks have to be clearly heard, to have your message get across.

So…

… old-school copywriters were inherently masters at writing within limits. I actually cut my teeth on catalog copy, which had character counts per “copy area” that could not be violated. The photos were often more important, and there was a lot of default copy already in each space (for order numbers, guarantees, etc.)

When Adwords appeared, with strict character counts for each line, newbie writers who had only known the vast, unlimited wasted space of Websites, freaked the hell out. Us grizzled pro’s just shrugged, and got into what I call “essential copy”.

Everything you write in an ad — the headline, subhead, photo caption, opening paragraphs, bullets, guarantee copy, close, P.S., testimonials, all of it — has a “hook” or fundamental element that is the beating heart of that section.

When you’ve got to start condensing things… especially when you’re writing “teaser” copy meant to incite further action (like clicking on a link where a longer piece is laid out for you)… you go into a different mode of thinking.

Yes, you’re imparting information, but it’s more like appetizers of the main meal. You’re whetting the appetite of your reader… by teasing out the highlights of what is more leisurely expanded upon on the main page.

Look for the defining hooks of each section of your main piece. Spot the word or phrase or imagery that nails the essence of that hook. You may not use them all… but this is Step One. Gather your ammo.

In Adwords, you usually abandon adjectives and good grammar first, when boiling down a good teaser. You find shorter, possibly more descriptive words to replace the bloviation you’re used to expanding on.

And a whole lot of important stuff will have to be left out entirely. Stuff your client may think is critical. Stuff you would include, if you could. But there simply isn’t room — somebody’s gotta stay behind, while the reconnaissance patrol heads out.

On Facebook, you actually aren’t limited anywhere as severely as in Adwords. These posts prove that — this is several pages of copy.

However, at a certain point, your message will automatically be clipped by FB robots, and a “Continue reading…” link arbitrarily slapped in.

So, you must make sure the copy that DOES get on the newsfeed works to incite further action. You may even use the first part of your copy to get readers to click on the “Continue reading…” link and continue reading… where they’ll be further persuaded to click on yet another link, leading to your main website.

This all sounds complicated, but it’s not. Most of the sponsored ads you see on FB right now are not well-written — be wary of using them as models.

Adwords (or FB ads) penned by experienced pro copywriters will read like focused blasts of brain dynamite — pricking your curiosity, challenging your reality, waking you up and demanding that you click to find out more.

Ask yourself, when writing condensed copy: What are the emotional, financial, possibly spiritual, certainly success-targeted fundamental hooks of your message? You can tease, or be direct… use curiosity or just state plain facts… depending on how unique, valuable, and critical your message is to your audience.

Free is always a good word, when applicable. Pattern interrupts are good — challenging standard thinking, using images that wake folks up.

Just don’t worry about grammar. Imagine having half a matchbook cover and a broken pencil stub, and you have to scribble a message that alerts your rescuers to where you are, and what they must be ready for. No room for last will and testaments, no room for teary requests for forgiveness, no room for unnecessary words.

Keep considering the essence of what you’re saying. Know what the hooks are in your message. Study the art of teasing readers into action.

WARNING: Rookies are often tempted to lie, or exaggerate, or try to trick readers into clicking on a link. This is a loser’s game — the second the game is up, and your reader sees he’s been duped, he’s gone.

If you have something your reader needs, or wants, or SHOULD want… inside of a damn good deal, with risk reversed and lots of testament to your awesomeness…

… then you’re front-loaded with excellent hooks targeted to his sweet spot of need.

All right?

All right.

That was fun…

Side note: If you like this kind of deep insight, advice and sharing, you may want to check out the ways to reach me (and even hang out) personally. Just go here — it’ll take you all of five minutes to see what’s up.

Post #4:

The Grizzled Pro Speaks, Part Three: Are we having fun yet?

I am. I love having the chance to air out some good, specific questions here… especially knowing they matter to folks right now.

Tonight, an easy one (the 3rd of 5 I promised)… and a chance to highlight another resource for good, free, veteran-level advice.

Mitch Miller writes: “John, our stories are nearly identical personality and life situation wise. I am 31, and have just started to blast off into success land (thanks to you and Halbert and understanding that I am only one good sales letter away from a fortune). My question would be:

How can I limit the amount of damage I will surely do to myself by all of a sudden making a pile of money? My time has come, and I feel I am finally about to peak – I do not want to blow it all on lamborghinis and dinners, though I know that could happen to me.

It is inevitable that I am about to “get rich” so to speak – how does a kid who grew up poor, not kill himself with all that angst when I finally make it?

Love yah man.”

Well. First, thanks for the kind words, Mitch.

Second… it just so happens that the podcast I co-host with Kevin Rogers — “Psych Insights For Modern Marketers” — did an entire show on this very subject not too long ago.

So rather than re-hash what we shared, just follow the link below to the podcast, and get hip. (Be sure to sign up for alerts on future shows, too, if you like the podcast. Remember: All free.)

Let me add: What Mitch asks about is a very real, very pervasive, and very stubborn problem for anyone… in any gig… who gets good, gets rewarded, and suddenly has to face dramatic financial, emotional and intellectual change.

The old saying “Money can’t buy happiness” is true… though, most folks would prefer to learn it for themselves, rather than just be lectured about it. So, I know from experience that nothing I say can make anyone pause — even for a moment — when they climb on the roller coaster of rapid wealth.

Still, once the consequences of moving up a level (or more) in raw wealth and prestige start to settle in… and they will, and it will be painful (especially if you started out in modest circumstances) (like living out of your car, as I did)…

… it’s CRITICAL that you know these tactics for dealing with the burn-out and lifestyle changes descending on your ill-equipped ass.

Side note: If you like this kind of deep insight, advice and sharing, you may want to check out the ways to reach me (and even hang out) personally. Just go here — it’ll take you all of five minutes to see what’s up.

Post #5:

The Grizzled Pro Speaks, Part 4:

Here’s an answer I gave last night, in the comments of the last post. It qualifies as one of the 5 I’m ranting on this week. Alex Ramirez is in a real fix, having blown his initial investment in becoming an entrepreneur, and now down to his final pennies…

… and, worse, paralyzed into inaction because of it. My colleague David Raybould chimed in first, with some good advice, and then I went off on my own answer. First, David:

“Alex I’m a buddy of John’s and a former mentee, so I know he won’t mind me jumping in. The ugly truth is that starting out in such a pressurized situation probably isn’t going to lead to the instant success it seems you’re hoping for. But that’s okay. That’s why it’s called starting out. You will fail until you don’t. But don’t have an “event” mentality about it. Success isn’t an event. It’s a process. Perfect the process, trust the process, and rewards will follow. It’s just traffic and conversions. Anything else is extraneous. Also be wary of feeling like you need to answer to family members in regard to your business. The two should be very separate. The only way for you to succeed from here Alex is to take some action. So get off Facebook and go do it. ”

Now, my added comments… relevant to ALL entrepreneurs, at all stages of the roller coaster:

“Excellent response, David. All entrepreneurs face failure, constantly. Put as many odds in your favor as possible, and when you have to grind, grind. Alex, everyone here feels for your situation. Many have been in some version of it themselves. There are no magic answers, however. It’s business — your plan, your marketing, your advertising, all the pieces are put into action, and you do all you can to get the results you seek.

But plans fail, circumstances outside your control interfere, and sometimes even great ads stop working. Nothing in biz is guaranteed. Every top marketer you know of has had projects fail. You need to learn when to stop throwing good money after bad, when to regroup and start over, when to call it a loss and try something new.

The gun-to–the-head attitude is just a reminder to make the best possible decision at all times. It’s not a guarantee you’ll always be right, or that things will work out. The gun isn’t real — it’s a metaphor. So you don’t do things on a whim, and you do the things with the greatest chance of winning.

The problems you likely encountered happened long ago. The time to regroup is not at the end of your resources. Learn from this. Get a job, if you must, to restock your bank acc’t. Work out a repayment plan. Keep learning how to make a project work.

Money is not a finite resource in the world. You can earn more, work your way into a better-position on your next project — so you’re not hemorrhaging money in a losing campaign.

Again — there’s no magic to successful projects. Large amounts of money upfront doesn’t mean you’ll succeed, big staffs don’t mean you’ll succeed, and great ideas don’t mean you’ll succeed. It isn’t the end of the world to fail, when you can muster new opportunities after recovering.

You sound young. That means you have time on your side. You are not forbidden to try again with a new project, if you fail. You can take a job, and focus on learning how to fix what you did wrong while repaying loans and starting a new war chest for the next project down the road.

Again — there are no magic answers. But there are other projects, other opportunities, and other ways to both learn from failure, and do better next time.

Good luck. And don’t call me “pops”. Plus, all I ever asked for from that first copywriter I met was a clue. A bit of info. Which is what I’ve been pouring into the world, through my free blog, this free Facebook page, my free podcasts. I’ve never asked anyone to save me. Just info.

You have massive lessons to learn here. It may take you years to learn them, and get back in the game. You may never be a successful entrepreneur — you must live in reality, and be honest about your situation at every stage.

You may also make it all work the next time around. It depends on you, and how you apply the lessons you learn. Every biz owner alive faces the same risk of failure. It’s a process, not an event, as David said above.”

Side note: If you like this kind of deep insight, advice and sharing, you may want to check out the ways to reach me (and even hang out) personally. Just go here — it’ll take you all of five minutes to see what’s up.

Post #6:

The Grizzled Pro Speaks, Part 5 (last one, folks):

Well, this has been quite the education. In how Facebook treats entrepreneurs just trying to connect with folks, in how people react to a pro offering free advice, and in how much crap is simmering on a low-flame in my mind, just waiting to be tapped.

Okay, last one. Christopher Chia posts: “John, I’d love to see you rant about what’s really important to you now, after a long and successful career, after you’ve gone in cahoots with the world’s best marketers… Lessons learnt, things you wish you knew starting out, the advice you’d give out to the young buggers of today, etc. Thanks!”

My answer: First, just go traipse through the (free) archives at the blog — www.john-carlton.com. I’ve been writing pretty much entirely on this subject for over a decade now.

What’s important to me has remained the same for many years — I love to teach, through writing, via my own experiences. So it’s like an ongoing biography, focused on biz. I love to shuck and jive, and my career has reached a point where I can do whatever I want… and what I want to do is live fully (chewing up large chunks of scenery along the way, as I always have) and write with verve and gusto.

I’m not the off-the-rails wild man I was as a young punkster, but I still crave enlightenment and raw knowledge. Which, you should knock on wood, I hone by sharing. Here, on the blog, in books.

My unusual style of teaching sometimes connects with folks in a big way. I got to where I am today by making almost every mistake possible in a copywriting career. Literally — I was like the bull in the china shop in my early years, with a rapacious appetite for learning, and a sense there was no time to lose in getting on the path to success.

This meant I bit off more than I could chew at times. And encountered situations where I stumbled, and even failed. But it didn’t matter…

… because I was after the long-term goal — securing a place for me in the hierarchy of the business world. That’s all I wanted.

So the mistakes weren’t stopping points, or even obstacles. They were LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES. I never vowed to “do better next time”…

… instead, I actually logged the time and effort (and expense) filling in the gaps in my knowledge/skill base, and worked at my chops until I would actually DO better next time. No promises. Vows and promises aren’t worth anything in the real world. Actually coming back with a fresh set of better skills IS worth something in the real world.

So my teaching method just naturally plays off my personal stories. I’m not teaching you a lesson I read in a book somewhere, or got schooled on in a seminar.

Nope. I’m relating how I got into the mess… how I got OUT of the mess… what I learned… and how I fixed things so I did better next time. This means you get to hear the rollicking war stories plucked directly from my life…

… and see how the lessons played out in reality. (Reality — what a concept. Rather than viewing the world as you wish it was, or think it ought to be… you view the world AS IT REALLY IS, and adjust accordingly.) (The first thing I jettisoned, when I became a professional, was my youthful idealism. Belief systems are fine, but piss-poor ways to run a biz on. Get away from what people SAY they’ll do, and focus instead on what they actually DO. It’s often as different as night and day.)

Some folks don’t do well with this teaching method. They’re used to just having the steps spelled out, one, two, three… and the idea of going the long way around the block… through stories… to get to the point of the lesson just drives them nuts.

Plus, as a real kinda guy, I can be mouthy and let my bad attitude off the leash a bit too often. I use slang a lot, I swear like a drunken sailor on shore leave, and I don’t pull punches in verbal brawls.

This is because, as a rookie, I discovered I learned best when taught by someone with the same outlook on life that I had. Conservative, uptight, formal mentors are fine for some folks — preferable, in fact, if that’s your personal style.

But I’ve always been engaged with life further out on the edges. I’m not interested in living and breathing business — I’ve got too many other interests, hobbies, skill sets and passions. Often, I’ll work these outside passions into lessons — because biz IS life, on a slightly more intense scale. Money’s at stake, and failure.

Still, I’ve been able to parlay my days playing in rock bands, in biker bars across the West, into excellent biz lessons. Cuz biz lessons and life lessons… and rock and roll lessons… all overlap and intertwine. My dearly-missed mentor Gary Halbert knew this well, and that’s why we got along so famously.

I’m a shy, introverted dude. But you’re not gonna be successful as a freelancer hiding and avoiding people. So I learned the ways of the extrovert, and was stunned to learn that most of the top speakers in the seminars are introverts, too. We just adopt the extrovert’s tactics for the length of the gig… and collapse in our rooms later, exhausted but successful.

The world is an amazing, dangerous, wonderful and scary place. There are few other gigs that drill deep into every part of life like copywriting — you have to be a detective, a shrink, a circus handler, a money man, a debate expert and maybe a dozen other things, all at once.

And that’s just to handle clients. Creating product, running a biz, kick-starting entrepreneurial projects… all require critical thinking way beyond what “civilians” (what I call everyone who isn’t a direct response-savvy marketer) can even imagine.

Freelancers go behind the curtains, backstage, into the dark secret places of biz, and clients’ lives, and even into the dungeons of capitalism itself. It requires the nerves of a mercenary, the balls of a Bezerker, the steel-trap mind of an Enlightenment philosopher, the courage of a Jack Russell terrier going after squirrels. Through traffic. Halfway up trees. With little thought to survival, and total unwavering focus on the goal at hand.

Cops have a gig somewhat like ours. With more real danger added. Firefighters share our requirement for focus. Sailboat fools and some skateboarders know what I’m talking about regarding eating risk for breakfast.

I was a total slacker when I hit my early thirties, and that had to change immediately if I was going to taste even mild success in the biz world. So I transformed myself — with books when raw knowledge was needed, with experience at every opportunity (unafraid to fail), with mentoring whenever possible, at whatever price was asked.

You can live an entire life half-asleep, snoozing away and never accomplishing anything. Many people choose this path. You’ll have a lot of company if you decide the bruises, occasional humiliations and nerve-wracking risk of the entrepreneurial world is too much to bear.

Those of us who live here love it all, though. It’s a decision, not a default setting in your system. Every move is up to you… and most of the time, it will be ENTIRELY up to you. Cuz no one else gives a shit, not really, about you in the long run. I mean, they “care”, but not enough to sacrifice themselves for your happiness.

If you need unqualified love, get a dog. (I did.) The biz world ain’t about coddling or nurturing… it’s about grappling with reality and capitalism, fully aware and hungry for knowledge, challenges and rewards.

For more like this — again — go haunt the freakin’ blog. It’s filled to the rafters with rants just like this… www.john-carlton.com

—

And that’s the lot of them. I’ve bought big, thick biz books that didn’t have a fraction of the solid advice in them you’ve just read here.

If this is your first time here, let’s see if we can’t make it completely painless (and even fun).

Cuz, you know, it’d be a shame if you got spooked, and were thus deprived of the vast (free) resources and time-tested tools available here.

So let’s just dive in, what d’ya say?

Step One: Sign in, under “Get The New Report” box on your upper right. Use your best email address, please. You will not be deluged with email — I post once or twice a month, max, and will send you advance notice.

I promise I’ll be a rare, welcome presence in your inbox. You can always disconnect anytime, simply and easily. This ain’t like signing up for a phone plan or a stint in the Army.

Step Two: Just skip through the (free) archives. There is ten years worth of serious advice, insight and revelations for copywriters, entrepreneurs, biz owners and even folks still at the “dreaming about it” stage of getting after your goals.

No need to get lost in there — just realize it’s available, whenever you’re ready to learn or expand your toolkit. Free.

If you’ve got a few extra minutes, though, and you’d like to read some popular recent posts, try “How To Hire A Copywriter” from February of this year (which helps clients understand how to get the best freelancer they can)… the redux of “The Rest Of Your Freakin’ Life” (one of the most referred-to posts on living well I’ve ever published)…

… and “The Entrepreneur’s Checklist” — a perfect “quick start” guide for moving up to the next level of your career or business goals. Fast, and without a lot of fuss… and ESPECIALLY without any surprises.

That’s just to get your feet wet here. A small mob of fans drift through the archives several times a week, reading only what grabs them.

You’ll discover, almost in the first minute of reading, that this isn’t your “normal” kind of blog. Most of the posts are written by me, personally. Each one has been carefully planned out, edited, and published only when ready for mass public consumption.

Enjoy.

Step Three: Finally, be sure to examine the stuff available in the right-hand column…

… like my best-selling book “The Entrepreneur’s Guide To Getting Your Shit Together“. You can score the digital version for ten measly bucks, and indulge in nearly 400 pages of timeless advice, insider stories, and specific tactics to making money as a marketer or advertising honcho.

You don’t have to pick up anything in this column, of course. Just be aware of what’s available… in case you realize (perhaps after reading a post or two) that there truly IS a reason why so many professional copywriters and top marketers admit I was the mentor who flipped their switch on.

Plus, in the “Consulting” tab up top, under the logo, you’ll find out how to reach me directly. I’m one of the few grizzled veterans in the advertising world who still enjoys interacting with folks regularly, and occasionally taking on a new client. Not often, but occasionally.

Anyway, you can complete this “get acquainted” little go-round in just a few minutes.

If anything grabs you, devour it. Again, the ten years of archives are free.

I’ll be posting a fresh piece soon, too. So be sure to sign up, get your hot free report, and enjoy getting a few (and only a few) emails from me in the near future.

I may not be everybody’s cup of tea.

But if we click, we’ll click big-time… and you’ll remember this day as a turning point in your life. It doesn’t get any realer than this blog…

So, let’s take on the entire advertising model of western civilization, what d’ya say?

Here’s a good place to start: It’s the end of baseball season, playoff fever in the air. I’ve been watching the SF Giants stumble-bum their way through a summer swoon (barely making the last NL wild-card spot)…

… and generally enjoying the age-old process of heartbreak and joy. I followed sports religiously as a kid, but paid less and less attention to it as the real-life adventures of adulthood took up all my time… and now, having a wee bit more time to indulge, I’ve returned to the fold.

But I record the games, and watch them after-the-fact.

Because of the mind-numbing commercial breaks.

I’m not alone, of course. Across the country, grown men and women run screaming from rooms when someone inadvertently turns on the evening news, for fear of hearing the score in a game they’re recording for later.

And being forced to endure the entire broadcast — including the endless, mind-melting commercial breaks — in, say, a bar or a friend’s house is pure torture.

The SAME commercials will play over and over, sometimes twice in the same break. Some of the national ones are mildly clever (at best), but hardly classic films that deserve repeated views. And the local stuff is just awful. (The locals can be excused, of course — tiny budgets, no insight to how persuasion actually works, and they’re at the mercy of clueless ad agencies or a brother-in-law with a camcorder. There’s even some charm in the awkwardness of homemade spots… sometimes, anyway. Mostly not, but you might get the flavor of the area at times.)

But the national spots have no real excuse. Yes, there is value in repetitive views — the average buyer sees a late-night cable infomercial something like 7 times, in pieces lasting a few minutes, before pulling out a credit card. There’s a process to the art of long-form, chew-up-the-wee-hours commercials.

However, the model of jamming a single pre-recorded commercial into every break in a sporting contest just begs to be ignored. Any thinking creature knows to check out mentally during the break, and go do something else. If you’re welded to the couch (say, in the midst of watching a blowout, weighed down by one too many beers), you still do not “watch” any commercial for the 20th time…

… you just exist while it flickers on the tube, a vague irritation forced on you while you wait for the fun to continue.

Why do advertisers do this?

Fear, first of all. Fear of making a mistake, of offending viewers, of risking the wrath of clients or shareholders or CEO overlords. And fear of being held accountable — the top Madison Avenue ad agencies never make true direct response commercials, because that would require measuring results…

… which, oops, might expose them for the charlatans they are. As long as they make high-production-value commercials with lots of explosions and special effects, while celebrities intone nonsense slogans with Shakespearean urgency, and never ask for a response from viewers…

… well, there can be nothing to measure. Thus, the ad becomes a “success” if the client “likes” it. Never mind if it actually brings in sales or not. (And the few car commercials that actually do push special sales events keep everything vague enough to cover the agency’s ass with plausible deniability.)

Second, few large corporations allow real sales-savvy folks to rise in the hierarchy. The decision-makers have no clue how to create effective advertising — that’s why they hire “the best” agencies money can buy.

But my experience over the decades is that real salesmanship remains a scarce commodity even in award-heavy ad agencies. They like to pretend they understand selling, but their love of white-bread humor, strange metaphors (“buy this car and you’ll be a super-cool secret agent!”) and logic-defying slogans gives them away. I mean, “We’re the best. Period.” WTF?

Total rubes in the selling game. Frauds. (Man, did I just say that out loud?)

Lastly… the big advertisers continue to bore and irritate their best potential customers because…

… they are ignorantfools.

Even a cursory knowledge of the history of commercial success in television gives them the easiest possible answer to this problem. And they’re too self-involved and dismissive of classic salesmanship to even realize what damage they’re doing by refusing to even consider this answer.

Here’s my suggestion… and please, tell me where I’m wrong:

1. Start by hiring a spokesman who is interesting, knowledgeable, perhaps sexy (or so unsexy they’re fascinating), and… I dunno… maybe even a fan of the game. With just a wee touch of actual salesmanship in their blood.

2. Instead of shelling out big bucks for a slot to run your tired old useless pre-recorded commercial…

… just go live during your spots. The technology is there, isn’t it? Tell me you can’t set up a camera on a set that delivers a live feed, on call, during breaks in a game. Explain to me how Johnny Carson did exactly this with live commercials on The Tonight Show fifty years ago, with great success…

… but you can’t do it now, because why?

3. The trick is, you ENGAGE viewers, in real time. You’re watching the game, you understand the passion and the occasional irritations of live sports… AND you’ve got a simple sales message to deliver. Be a mensch, be that guy the viewer welcomes into his world, who just happens to also have a small, understandable agenda regarding selling some product now and then.

4. There is no shortage of just-fine actors, or masters of salesmanship with some personality and wit. And ANY halfway-decent marketer with direct sales experience can think of a thousand ways to make this live break work.

The main problem is this: Viewing television is a PASSIVE behavior. As is reading the newspaper, or surfing websites, or listening to the radio. Your job, as a marketer, is to bring your prospect OUT of that passive state (garbage in, garbage out)…

… and ignite an ACTIVE state in him. Your advertising should strive to be the most exciting thing he encounters all day long.

Sure, not everyone wants what you offer — but that’s the default case in marketing. You’re after the dude who IS in dire need of what you’re selling.

So focus on him. Make the spot about him, and his needs, and his state of awareness.

5. Why be scared of something as simple and straightforward as a live spot, rather than a boring “seen it 50 times already” commercial?

In 30 seconds, I can make any sales message better, live, off the top of my head. So can most any experienced, self-respecting marketer. You engage, you keep it real, you know what’s going on (cuz you’re watching the game), and you have a simple, measurable response you request of your viewer.

6. Mistakes are GOOD, even. People will actually watch more intently if they believe a train wreck might occur.

Melt-downs are fine. Heck, get drunk, if you can still do your job. Reveal some humanity.

Messy desks, and non-perfect discussions are great — the best TV communicators have always had a knack for connecting with the audience by being a “regular guy”. By being flawed…but possessing just a small bit of insider knowledge, or a lead on a better bargain, or being a trusted resource for advice.

Yes, this is like the shopping cable shows. With sales-savvy live representatives bonding and engaging and selling the bejesus out of stuff.

Did YOU need to be persuaded by a fancy high-production Hollywood-style commercial to buy the car you’re now driving? Or did you seek out advice and info from trusted sources, drive a bunch of cars around first, take all the salesman’s blather with a grain of salt… and come to your own best conclusion?

The cliche is that middle-aged dudes with thinning hair and bulging bellies buy Porches in order to reclaim some sense of sexy youth. Maybe that happens every so often.

More often, middle-aged dudes lust after those sports cars their entire life, and can only afford one when they’re older. Sure, they’ll listen to Classic Rock while zooming around downtown, and indulge in memories and feelings of power and attractiveness they thought were lost forever…

… but they bought the car the same way you buy cars. You shop, you fool yourself about your budget, you rationalize, you seek out good info to support what you already want to do, etc.

But you are never hypnotized by a sleek, CGI-infused commercial. That’s not what sells you.

7. Finally… sports fans are not imagining that commercial breaks are getting longer and more frequent. That is actually happening. When you see a game live inside a stadium, it’s stunning how much time is wasted waiting for the national feed to finish up the commercials. Players just standing around, waiting for the okay to start playing again.

TV is losing eyeballs every year. The new generations coming up are appalled at the mindlessness of commercial television, and are finding new ways to get the entertainment, news and social connectivity they crave.

So the vanishing audience of TV gets smaller, older, and more frustrated with the endless repetitive commercials. And desperate marketers can’t think of an alternative to bombarding them with the same old shit, over and over and over again.

The live spot has already proven itself, many times in the history of television. The older audiences are already used to it, and any newer viewers trapped into watching a game live can be charmed and woken up by deft handling of good, raw, live salesmanship.

It’s a dance of death on a sinking ship.

I’m just sayin’. If you’re a huge company, and you bought 20 spots for a big game, why not use two or three of those spots to experiment a bit?

Cuz your audience is tuning you out when you run the same commercial over and over. You’re paying to be white background noise while a new pitcher comes in from the bullpen.

No one will ever listen to me on this, of course.

Savvy marketers have always been the minority in biz, and that is our strength. If the rest of the capitalist world ever caught on to how successful direct response can be (when done right), we’d lose our competitive advantage.

Most people are sleep-walking through life, bored shitless and not very good at their jobs. This includes the vast majority of decision-makers in business and in advertising. They do not understand salesmanship, they’re frightened of ballsy, aggressive direct response tactics, and they just want to please the client (who’s even more clueless than they are) and go have a martini.

But it’s fun to tackle these problems with some creative “what if” thinking, isn’t it. Especially when you get trapped into watching a game that hasn’t been recorded, and you can’t fast-forward through the breaks.

Brr. Worst torture there is for an adman. It just offends you at the cellular level.

Okay, rant over. That was fun.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. By the way… we’re having yet another mastermind meeting this October, and I’m stunned you haven’t looked into joining us yet.

Yes, it’s exclusive, and not cheap. But the intensity of the focus on your biz, and solving your specific problems, using the vast resources and experience of the experts and fellow marketers in the group is something you’ve got to see to appreciate.

Go here to get a taste of what so many current and former members say about this rare mastermind.

It’s great stuff. I love hosting it, and I love getting to hang out with the guest experts I invite (like Joe Sugarman, Jay Abraham, Dean Jackson, Joe Polish, Rich Schefren, Bond Halbert and others). You get to rub elbows with all of us, cuz this is a small, intimate, and total “get things done” meeting.

One of my favorite quotes from Gary Halbert: “There is nothing that cannot be accomplished by a man who refuses to face reality.”

You laugh, but he was dead serious. One of the reasons we became fast friends was our mutual outlook on life – whenever reality was inconvenient to our goals, we just ignored the facts, lowered our head, and bulled forward.

That photo, above, is me in high school (from the yearbook). I loved basketball, and was good enough to become the captain of the “B” squad my junior year…

… however, as should be evident in this photo, I ran into a brick wall trying out for the varsity a year later.

The guy guarding me as I took that jumper is taller than me by a foot. I was the smallest guy on the squad…

… and really, at some point a caring coach probably should have taken me aside and said “John, I know you love the game… but look at your family. No one is taller than 5’10”, and basketball is a sport for tall folks. You’re not going to magically grow into the size they want on the varsity team…”

I wouldn’t have listened, anyway. I’m like a Jack Russell terrier – a big dog trapped in a small dog’s body. Eventually, in sports, my poor eyesight and lack of height stopped me…

… but I had fun for a couple of years in the meantime.

Later on, as I was gathering my courage to try copywriting, an actual professional copywriter earnestly informed me that I should not even try.

“It’s too hard,” she said. “You’ll never be a pro writer.”

That was, of course, the BEST thing she could have ever told me. I doubt I could have survived the first years without that internal motivation of needing to prove her wrong.

I call it “negative motivation”… and it’s actually one of the most powerful forces available for getting stuff done. I never saw her again, and don’t even remember her name…

… so it wasn’t a need to flaunt my success in her face. It was all internal for me – I used her as the “face” of the obstacles in front of me, and I even laughed when I later realized I was in a position to tell her “Fuck you, I made it anyway.”

Yes, my internal ego is an immature twerp sometimes. Chip on the shoulder, snarling underdog attitude, and an almost stupidly-aggressive and irrational refusal to face reality.

I am so grateful for it, too.

(By the way… I nailed that shot in the photo, above… and ended up with 20 points while also hitting the winning basket. Easily my finest moment in a futile, doomed effort to be a “real” basketball player. A has-been at 16.)

You do not need to be a belligerent rebel to be a good entrepreneur…

… but it can help sometimes.

Certainly, given the choice of sitting down to dinner with the business types in suits, who are uber-polite and careful in their conversations…

… or the rowdy crowd of rule-breaking ne’er-do-well whack job entrepreneurs who may easily get kicked OUT of the restaurant….

… well, you know which one I’d pick.

I was Halbert’s sidekick for a very long time, and one of the most enjoyable parts of the gig was wandering into a new client’s offices and creating massive chaos. In a rational world, none of the buttoned-up biz owners we dealt with would have tolerated us for more than a few minutes…

… but, because we brought the “magic” of ads that worked, they HAD to not just tolerate us, but sometimes coddle us and even pay us more than they were going to earn themselves in the project.

We weren’t mean. Perhaps arrogant at times. But both Gary and I had wandered into the entrepreneurial world precisely because we didn’t “fit” in the normal corporate environments. We were outlaws by nature, outrageous by temperament, and adventurers who ate risk for breakfast by choice.

Again – you do not NEED to be a half-crazed rebel to succeed in biz…

… though, I’ve noticed that a great number of the dudes and dudettes at the top of the entrepreneurial game don’t easily fit into nice, tidy molds. They don’t behave themselves in polite company.

I’ve been thinking a lot, lately, about what you DO need to be a successful entrepreneur. In my mastermind, there have been many members who were unclear on what it “meant” to be an entrepreneur…

… and we’ve helped every one of them get over their fears, stop obsessing on the wrong things, and become much more confident (and successful) marketers. Mostly, they are stunned by the magnitude of profit that comes from doing things right.

It’s all a matter of hanging out with veterans who can commiserate with your stumbles, help you correct the damage, and reveal the secrets of getting into a solid success-groove, and riding it all the way to wealth and happiness.

My goal is to, eventually, have a comprehensive menu of things you can do at every step of your business life. That’s gonna take a while, though…

… so, for now, I have a starter checklist here you might find helpful.

Let’s just get into it. Here (in no particular order) are the main things you’ll need in your “toolkit” as an entrepreneur:

[] Survival resources. This includes books (both the ones you read for general knowledge and put on your shelf… and the ones that stay on your desk, dog-eared, because they are tools that help in your day-to-day work)…

… and whatever courses, seminars, and tutorials you need to attain a mastery of the details of whatever biz you’re in.

[] Goal-setting skills. You need to understand, clearly, where you’re headed and what you want from both your journey and your final destination.

It’s okay, early on, to not be clear on you ultimate goals. Sometimes, you work hard to attain something, and only then realize it wasn’t what you wanted after all. That’s how life works in the active part of the pool. You will constantly re-adjust your long-term goals as you go.

Short-term, however, you need to get good at breaking down the best path to your target, while also learning how to fix problems and deal with unexpected emergencies.

… cuz you’re gonna get stomped, bullied, abused, insulted and assaulted. Often. In new and fascinating ways that your civilian pals will never believe possible.

Your motto must be “eyes on the prize”, at all times. There will be setbacks, disasters and breathtaking failures.

You know you’ve “arrived” as a true entrepreneur when all of this becomes just part of the process, and you even enjoy the constant challenges raining down on you.

[] Risk tolerance. This is what sets most entrepreneurs apart from other civilians. Against the advice of your drinking buddies (who really do not want you to succeed, because that will destroy their own belief that the little guy can’t win)… contrary to the fears of your family (who are terrified that your wild-ass biz plans will bankrupt the joint)… and in utter defiance of your own Red Flag danger alarms…

… you’re going to have to lay your reputation on the line, and climb into a fight with the forces of capitalism armed only with your wit, meager skill sets, and raw determination.

And no one else except other entrepreneurs will even vaguely understand what you’re going through. Working without a net. Daring the universe to slap you down. Going into situations, over and over again, where you’re a complete rookie, apt to make embarrassing mistakes.

In short, living with risk. And the consequences of risk, which can include failure.

Of course, a true entrepreneur regards “failure” as just another step on the rocky path to breakthrough success. It’s a process. Few get it right the first time.

So, you need to assess your capacity to accept, and deal with risk. If the very notion of taking a risk terrifies you into inaction, it’s probably a sign from God that you need to get a job somewhere safe.

[] Your basic bag of tricks. You may have to learn the basics from books at first, or by observation… but no matter how you learn them, you need to understand the fundamentals of a sales funnel (qualified leads are captured and closed)…

… the details of fulfillment and customer management…

… and how to craft a sales message that can be easily communicated to prospects.

It’s not rocket science, but you’re an idiot if you think you can “fake it” as you begin marketing your biz for real.

Fortunately, there are a lot of courses out there to shortcut your efforts…

… or, you can dive into the many books out there on these subjects. In a weekend, you can begin your self-education by reading one on marketing, one on sales, and one on writing copy.

Your first choices may be the wrong ones to read, but that doesn’t matter — because you’ll have started the process, and that’s the critical part of this step. Next weekend, read three different books on the same subjects. Rinse and repeat until you feel you have a toe-hold in each subject, at least.

The longest journey begins with a single step. Just try not to fall on your face immediately, all right? Read critically and intelligently, and continually seek out authors you can trust and identify with.

[] A budget, or war chest. You will need cash in your biz adventures. No getting around that.

I’m not a great role model. I started my freelance career with one tank of gas in a rattle-trap car, one month’s rent paid, and enough spare change to feed myself for a couple of weeks. I had no Plan B.

Much better to have a planned budget, and the money to meet it for at least a few months. If you’re already in business, and you want to expand or get into a new project…

… then have a “war chest” of cash you can invest in the adventure. Don’t go in broke, or clueless about what you may need to pull out of your existing biz.

Most entrepreneurs hate budgets and planning.

Do it anyway. There are plenty of misadventures awaiting you in biz — don’t stumble on stuff like budgets, which you have control over and can figure out easily.

This is a biggie. You may suck at it right now, but one of your goals must be to get pro-level good at judging client requests, job offers, new projects, partner assessment (in both biz and love), and all the little and big decisions that will cascade upon your head every single day.

One tactic: Use the 1-10 “pain scale” measurement many doctors use in assessing patients. Use it on yourself – what level is the value… the risk… the reward… and the danger of any decision you encounter?

Is it a big deal, or a little deal of no lasting consequence?

Get good at this, as fast as possible. One of the main failure points of unsuccessful biz owners is a lack of prompt, good decisions.

Ignoring this stress is a very, very, very bad idea. It will never leave, it will build up, and in due time it will fry your brain like an egg in a skillet.

You are not a superman. Your body and mind are vulnerable to the ravages of poor diet, lack of exercise, and constant hormone dumps of adrenaline and other bad chemicals.

Massage, meditation, lots of vacations, reading good books (not biz books) to relax, having “safety zones” in your week where you are free from the tentacles of your biz (no phone, no email, no nothing)…

… the tactics for battling stress are easy to find and experiment with. Find what works for you, and give it PRIORITY status in your life.

For example, I began weekly massages early in my career… long before I started buying better clothes, a newer car, or eating out more often. Massage “re-set” my physical stress levels, and I’m convinced it has saved me from ulcers and worse. And kept me mega-productive for decades.

I started out with a “business before pleasure” mindset… but included in “business” was de-stressing and being a good animal (loose, strong, well-fed, lots of restorative sleep, etc).

And finally (for this short “starter list”)…

[] Have an exit plan. Go after your goals like a terrier after a squirrel, with total focus and commitment.

However, realize that sometimes your goals need to adjusted, or even abandoned.

When the facts and circumstances change, your goals change. (This includes sudden changes in technology, like Google slaps… booming new opportunities that didn’t exist earlier… even realizing you no longer crave what motivated you so desperately before.)

I’m not suggesting you have an easy “bail out” plan, that you can take whenever things get dicey. Like Cortez burning his ships upon his conquest of Mexico, a lot of entrepreneurs do better when there is no turning back.

Rather, I’m talking about visualizing your life after success. Many entrepreneurs, right after “making it”, immediately begin to sabotage the biz. Because the fun is in the building up of the thing, the adventures of tackling challenges and working without a net.

Once you’ve been successful, you either need to pivot to management of the biz (yawn)…

… or consider the consequences of cashing out, selling your biz, moving into something else, or just becoming an “intrapreneur” like Steve Jobs did at Apple.

At least consider what your life will be like when you succeed. And consider options for yourself.

Okay. That’s the starter list. Not a bad checklist to have on the wall above your desk as you move forward, either.

One last thought on reality: Yes, I ignored the reality of who I was, and what I brought to the game, as I plowed through life going after unrealistic goals.

However, there is ONE reality I never ignore.

That would be the reality of results. I love seeing how ads and tactics work, or don’t work, through actual sales numbers (and click-through and open rates, and so on).

However, I look at these results CRITICALLY. I don’t accept them blindly. They are tools for moving forward. Where did, or where could the ad have failed? Can we fix it? What other things can be done to navigate a sales problem? Where IS the main problem, anyway?

My stupidly-aggressive and irrational refusal to face certain realities has served me well over the years. If I’d listened to the nay-sayers, or even my own fears, my life would have been much less exciting and happy. And rich, in every respect.

Still, all vices in moderation. That’s my motto.

Find out what works for you.

I hope this list is a good starting point.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Did I leave anything off the list that should have been on there?

Well, we just finished another coaching session of the Simple Writing System. A large, unruly mob of folks entered the online campus almost two months ago… wrestled with the lessons and grew like beanstalks under the personal, one-on-one mentoring of “A List” copywriters-turned-teachers-for-the-session…

… and now they’ve been unleashed and sent into the world to raise the bar in dozens of different markets.

If you know anyone who’s been through this hyper-intense, hands-on coaching… then you understand the kind of shocking transformation that takes place. Rookies become dangerously-good copywriting masters, and biz owners who were semi-clueless about marketing become steely-eyed experts.

Will there ever be another SWS session like this? With weeks and weeks and weeks of personal coaching, by a respected pro copywriter dedicated to your success?

I don’t know, at this point. It’s exhausting to host these things.

However, you can still get the at-home version of the course here. And if another hands-on coaching session comes around, you’ll be all that more prepared to feast on it.

Meanwhile, enjoy your summer. I’m off to host another session of the Platinum Mastermind — should be a good one, with copywriting bad-boy Jon Benson as our special guest expert for both days…

Stay frosty,

John

]]>http://www.john-carlton.com/2014/07/sorry-if-you-missed-out/feed/1Why We Blow Stuff Up On The 4th Of July (redux)http://www.john-carlton.com/2014/07/why-we-blow-stuff-up-on-the-4th-of-july-redux/
http://www.john-carlton.com/2014/07/why-we-blow-stuff-up-on-the-4th-of-july-redux/#commentsFri, 04 Jul 2014 20:56:03 +0000http://www.john-carlton.com/?p=2127

We’d start salivating around mid-June, shaking like 10-year-old junkies until Pop finally drove us to the Red Devil stand in Fontana, where’d we stock up on the most gruesome display of flame, gunpowder and amateur rocketry possible.

Oh, the joys of ladyfingers going off under Aunt Ruth’s chair… of nearly burning down the garage when a bottle rocket zoomed sideways… of thrilling Roman candles singeing the shrubbery… of snakes, pinwheels, sparklers and fountains frothy with fire in the backyard battlefield…

It was freakin’ glorious, is what it was.

But I never made the connection to what, exactly, we were celebrating.

Later in life, I got into history, and I finally understood why (for example) my Mexican and European pals rolled their eyes at my stories of celebrating the Fourth by setting fields on fire with M80-loaded Silver Salutes, or blowing up toilets in the boy’s room with cherry bombs (as custom demanded).

Americans are a raucous bunch, that’s for sure. We take a lot for granted, we’re still fighting the Civil War, much of our politics is incoherent and illogical, and we can be pretty infuriatingly provincial.

Plus, we’re no longer world leaders in the stuff we used to be rockstars at, like education, social mobility, inventions, progress, medicine… and we’re in denial about much of it.

However, even acknowledging all of these glaring faults hasn’t made me as cynical as some of my hipster pals. As I’ve said many times, no political party would ever allow me to be a member, and you’ll never figure out how I vote or what my views are on the topics the news media obsesses about.

This causes some problems in social situations when colleagues just assume I agree with them on the major issues. And I usually don’t agree at all. I’m not a total cynic, but I find fault with almost every opinion I hear. I totally understand how a lot of folks do become snarling partisans, enraged at their polar opposites on all issues, bereft of hope for the future.

I just learned to loathe cynicism itself long ago. Worthless attitude, doesn’t help anything, doesn’t provide solutions, doesn’t make an iota of difference in what goes on. At best, the cynic may toss off an actual witticism…

… but mostly, they’re just too cool to be bothered beyond expressing droll boredom and a vague superiority at being “above the fray”.

Well, fuck ‘em. The social/political/world-affairs cynic is a close cousin of the dude who’s never met a payroll, yet feels completely qualified to deliver speeches on how everyone else’s business should be run.

And I learned to shut that guy out very early in my career. My first question, whenever someone was bashing an entrepreneur’s efforts, used to be “well, what would you do in his situation?”

Which, of course, produced exasperation that someone of such intelligence and knowledge as themselves should be required to come up with solutions.

The nerve, asking him to dirty himself with real-world considerations.

Nowadays, I prefer to just let the conversation die from non-involvement. No matter what the cynic is talking about, it’s the same game every time – either “they” (the mysterious folks apparently running everything) need to fix things, or the world just needs to stop bothering Mr. Cynic with its problems if no one’s gonna take his advice.

Anyway, I bring up my detestation of cynicism because it often rears its ugly head right about the Fourth of July, when guys like me start ruminating on what’s good about this country.

Yes, I know The Man is getting better at keeping us down. I know we’re being groomed for digital slavery by evil geniuses who want to control the universe. And I know it’s hopeless to fight city hall (let alone the gazillionaires currently corrupting every corner of the government with buckets of moolah).

But I’m an amateur historian. And I can scoff at the cynics because even a casual glance at the ride we’ve taken as a country so far lays bare a single fact: We’ve always been at each other’s throats… the machinery of government has always clogged up at some point with cronyism and stupidity and corruption… and there is no single “truth” about living in the modern world.

Folks, we’re making it up as we go. If you’ve been living your life believing there’s some grand plan guiding things beyond the next election cycle, well, good for you. I hope that belief gives you comfort, but you’re delusional.

What’s kept the country going, so far, has been the incredible creativity of a minority of people who either get sucked into positions of authority, or who throw themselves into the fight (and suffer the consequences) because they simply cannot ignore the craziness anymore.

Our Constitution, cobbled together by men who did their best to force-feed the breakthroughs of The Enlightenment into government, is part road-map, part mysterious Oracle (written in language so open to interpretation that we haven’t agreed on it in two centuries years of trying), part sobering reminder of how imperfect our origins are.

Hey, it was one of the first governing documents of its kind, so cut it a little slack. Your bitchin’ new iMac is a direct descendant of that first homemade Apple computer (with no monitor and very limited utility) in Wozniack’s garage, you know. Your nice dependable car with the sealed engine bloomed from the unreliable Model A. The first of anything is almost always a fragile, error-riddled Beta version that gets a few steps forward and then collapses.

Which is why we didn’t get our modern version of the Constitution until after we tossed the mortally-flawed Articles of Confederation, and added a whole bunch of Amendments to address other serious problems that kept popping up.

I don’t have any easy answers to the problems plaguing us, and you don’t either. The battles we fight have always been with us, and forever will remain with us. Right vs. left, ignorant vs. arrogant, moralist vs. libertine, religious vs. secularist… you’re not gonna solve the disconnects and partisanship with laws.

What resiliency we’ve enjoyed has been because of the elasticity of the governing document. It has bent near-to-breaking many times, but keeps snapping back.

Which brings me to one thing I insist on celebrating in our Constitution over all other elements – the First Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Like much of the writing in our governing document, it’s vague and easily interpreted in silly ways.

However, that key detail about freedom of speech is the grease in the engine of democracy. Most of our ancestors, thoughout history, had no such luxury. A few short generations ago, I easily could have been shot just for writing what I do on this blog. Most ruling classes, once they get into power, seek to shut down dissent (and anyone else they don’t like for general purposes). It’s hard to rule large growling groups of humans, and you can get very irritable when critics are always sniping at your heels.

So, despite all the cynical things you can say about this joint, I keep coming back to that fragile, constantly-in-need-of-nurturing First Amendment…

… which, if any of my ancestors throughout history could have seen, would have taken their breath away.

We take it for granted that we can speak our minds here… and my network of writerly pals feel mostly immune from the anxieties our colleagues in other times have suffered (and still suffer in many parts of the world).

It’s hard to imagine how I’d get through my day if I had to bite my tongue, and keep all this blather in my brain a fearful secret, 1984-style.

Americans are a contentious bunch. We may yet screw things up and lose it all… but it’s not a foolish bet, either, to believe we can also re-establish our foothold in this brave new world and keep the noble experiment going…

… as long as writers and other ass-kickers are free to persuade, cajole, cast shame and float new ideas without being tossed in the hoosegow.

And so, today, I tip my hat to the flag and Ms Liberty, and shed a modest tear for the freedom I’ve been given to be my anti-authoritarian, irreverent, rebellious bad self.

Here’s to ya, old girl. My love is genuine and forever, no matter how much she pisses me off at times.

And to the cynics: Either put up, or shut up. There’s work to be done, and your troll-like carping from the sidelines has long been like the annoying yapping of lap dogs. Lay out your plan for what to do differently. Don’t just gripe.

Okay, I feel better now. Thanks.

Hope you have a great holiday weekend. Don’t get sunburned, don’t get too wasted, and don’t burn down the garage. And for cryin’ out loud, don’t get sucked into another futile political argument with that asshole brother-in-law of yours…

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Love to hear your comments on how you deal with cynics, and how you view this opportunity to live in a world where you can spout off to The Man without (for now, at least) risking your neck.

… and, in honor of it all, I am re-posting my now globally-notorious big damn rant on the subject. This was one of the more popular posts I’ve written, so it deserves an annual rediscovery.

So, without further ado… here’s the fourth redux of that post:

Nobody’s ever asked me to give the commencement speech for a graduating class.

That’s probably a good thing. I’m pretty pissed off at the education system these days, and I might cause a small riot with the rant I’d surely deliver.

See, I have a university “education”. A BA in psychology. (The BA stands for, I believe, “bullshit amassed”.) I earned it several decades ago…

… and while I had a good time in college (height of the sex revolution, you know, with a soundtrack that is now called “classic rock”), made some lifelong friends, and got a good look at higher learning from the inside…

… that degree provided zilch preparation for the real world. Didn’t beef me up for any job, didn’t give me insight to how things worked, didn’t do squat for me as an adult.

I waltzed off-campus and straight into the teeth of the worst recession since the Great Depression (offering us Nixon’s wage-freeze, record unemployment, an oil embargo, and near-total economic turmoil)…

… so, hey, I should have a little empathy for today’s grads, right?

Naw.

While today’s graduates are facing similar grim economic times, there’s been a significant change in the concept behind a college education. Somehow, over the years, a bizarre mantra has taken hold in kids minds: “Get a degree, and it’s a ticket to the Good Life.”

A job is expected to be offered to you before the ink is dry on your diploma.

And it really, really matters WHICH school you get that diploma from.

You know what I say?

Bullshit. Okay, maybe if you go to Yale or Harvard, you can make the connections on Wall Street and in Washington to get your game on. Maybe. (More likely, those connections are already available, if you’re gonna get ‘em, through family bloodlines… and the Ivy’s are just playing up their famous track records in a classic sleight-of-hand.)

Put aside the advancement opportunities offered to spawn of the oligarchy, though… and the realities of life-outside-of-academia do not jive at all with the propaganda doled out by the university systems.

Many of the richest guys I know are drop-outs. Some are HIGH SCHOOL drop-outs. The few friends who did go to the kind of school whose name causes eyebrows to rise…

… are ALL working far outside their major. To the point that nothing they learned has proven to be even remotely useful to their adult life. (Unless they stumble upon another over-educated dweeb at a cocktail party and get into a bare-knuckle Trivial Pursuit marathon.)

Too many people get all confused and bewildered about “education” as opposed to “going to college”.

It’s not the same thing, folks.

Some of the most clueless individuals I’ve ever met have impressive diplomas… while nearly all of the most savvy (and wealthy) individuals I know done got educated all on their lonesomes.

I learned more about history, business and psychology in 2 weeks of serious pre-Web library surfing (with a speed reading course under my belt) than I did in 4 years of college.

And I learned more about life in 3 months of hanging out with street-wise salesmen than I did from ANY source, anywhere, up to that time.

By all means, go to college if that’s part of your Master Plan to having a great life. You’ll meet interesting people, and it’s a Rite Of Passage for many Americans these days.

But don’t do it blindly. Just cuz The Man says it’s what you’re “supposed” to do.

Do some critical thinking before you jump in.

And if you really want that degree in Russian literature, or women’s studies, or political science, or whatever… then fine. Go get ‘em. Grrr.

Just KNOW that you can probably educate your own damn self on those subjects… and even get a deeper understanding of it all… by reading every book written about it, and interviewing a few experts. And if you can get private mentoring from someone, even better.

This can all take place during evenings and weekends, over the course of a few months, while you hold down a day job. Even if you buy the books, instead of hitting up libraries, you’ll have spent less on this specialized education than you’d pay for a single semester in “real” school.

And, unless you’re the laziest screw-up ever, you’ll actually learn MORE in those few months of intense immersion… than you would with a full-on degree.

You know how I can make this bold claim with a straight face?

Because this is what I’ve been doing as a freelancer for decades. Every time I wrote for a new market, I spent weeks immersing myself in it… learning everything I could about it from the inside-out. And this process often made me more of an expert than the client himself.

And I did it over and over and over again.

It was just part of the job. All top freelancers do this.

Once you lose your fear of self-education…

… you can finally let it sink in that WE LIVE IN THE FREAKIN’ INFORMATION AGE. The joint is crammed to bursting with books, ebooks, videos, websites, courses…

… the whole world is CRAZY well-stocked. There are teachers and coaches and mentors available if you need supervision. (I’ve partaken of this opportunity frequently over my life.) Boards and fan-zines and forums and membership sites abound (for bitching and moaning, as well as for networking with peers).

It’s a cornucopia of knowledge, experience and adventure out there.

Yes, there are blind alleys and pitfalls and wrong turns…

… but once you’re committed to learning something, these are just brief excursions off the main drag… and you can use even your failures as advanced learning tools as you gain expert status. (In fact, it’s really required that you screw up at least a little bit. Otherwise, you never get perspective.)

And best of all…

… you can engage with life as you go. And skip the jarring nonsense of the Ivory Tower bubble.

(One caveat to self-education: You must, early on, read up on how debates are actually taught. Or join a debate club.

I’m serious. Best thing I’ve ever done. As you sample debating, you should demand that you get to defend the OPPOSITE viewpoint that you currently hold for any subject. This forces you to look beyond your petty biases, and open your mind to other points of view.

This is a HUGE advantage to have in your toolkit throughout life. Everyone else will be hobbled with un-examined party-line nonsense and indoctrinated crap they can’t even begin to defend when challenged…

… while you — with your rare ability to walk in anyone’s shoes, and to feel the pain or glory of alien thought patterns — will forever more see beyond the sound bites and cliches. And be able to eloquently explain anything, to anyone.

You will actually begin to sense vestiges of “truth” in the wreckage of our modern culture.

I don’t have to tell you how that might apply to marketing, do I?)

Most people will not go this route of self-examination and immersion-learning, of course. The concept of taking control of your own education seems kinda threatening and foreign to the majority out there.

We spend the first years of our lives sitting quietly in classrooms, being brainwashed to believe we don’t know shit (and that Teacher knows everything). That’s excellent training for hitting a groove in college and post-grad pursuits…

… but it’s piss-poor preparation for Life In The Concrete Jungle.

Again, nothing wrong about going with the status quo. No shame.

Just don’t expect to learn much about the way the world works. You’re learning how academia works. Different animal.

Wanna hear my short speech on how to prepare yourself for life? (I’ve edited this from a recent post I wrote for the Simple Writing System mentoring program. Lots of great stuff keeps coming out of that gig…)

(Okay, quick plug: Check out www.simplewritingsystem.com to start your own adventure as a high-end sales master, if you’re so inclined…)

Here’s my mini-rant: I’m extremely prejudiced about this subject, of course. If I ran the world, everyone would get at least a taste of being an entrepreneur, during their formative years.

It will taste bitter to most people. And that’s fine. No harm, no foul. Move on to getting that job with The Man.

But for some… it will be sweet nectar. A thrill like nothing else they’ve ever experienced before.

Being an entrepreneur takes balls.

But you don’t have to “be” a ballsy kind of person.

You just have to understand how to implement your goals… which requires a little savvy about getting stuff done in the face of opposition and obstacles. Which is the definition of “ballsy”. Most folks who are successful at achieving goals were not born with the necessary attitude.

They learned the skill of living life with guts, just like they learned every other important skill associated with the gig.

I OFTEN intervene even with long-time professionals (like freelance writers, or veteran biz owners) who are screwing up their efforts to be successful.

My main advice: “Stop being a wuss. Everyone is scared. The successful ones acknowledge that fear, put it aside, and just get busy taking care of business.”

It really is that simple.

Life beyond childhood is for grown-ups. If you’re scared, you can take a regular job somewhere, and stay far away from the risks and realities of being your own boss.

On the other hand… if you’ve got entrepreneur’s blood in your veins… and you really DO want to be your own boss…

… then allow the reality of doing so to wash over you, and embrace it.

Everyone is unsure of themselves out there. There are no guarantees in life for anything… and getting into biz is among the riskiest things of all to do.

A tiny percentage of skydivers will die each year while jumping… but a vast chunk of rookie business owners will fail.

This is why you pursue the skills of salesmanship. Learning how to create a wicked-good sales message, how to close a deal, and how to bond with a target market is the PRIMARY weapon you want walking into ANY business environment.

Will you still fail? Maybe.

But you will NOT fail because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. If knowing how to persuade and influence can make your business sizzle, then learning salesmanship means you’re armed to the teeth. Like everything else in life, having the right tools for the job at hand is the best way to put the odds in your favor.

MOST people are not meant to be their own boss. The world needs followers, too.

Here’s what I tell students in the Simple Writing System, when doubts about their future bubble up: “Just by diving into the SWS, you have shown that there is something different burning inside you. No one held a gun to your head and forced you to come here to learn these skills. You decided to join all on your own.

“Even if you’re not yet sure why you’ve joined us here… you need to understand that MOST people would never even consider doing anything like this.

“Independence freaks most people out. The thought of standing up and taking responsibility for the birth and success of a business is terrifying… and most will refuse to even entertain the thought.

“This is, by the way, why you should always enter the entrepreneurial world WITHOUT relying on your current crop of friends for support.

“They will not applaud your efforts. They think you’re batshit crazy for daring to even consider being your own boss. They will (consciously or unconsciously) sabotage your progress if they can, and rejoice in your failures… because if you DO succeed, that kills their main excuse for not succeeding themselves. Most folks believe success is all about luck and magic. When you dig in and actually do the work necessary to succeed, you piss all over their world view that The Little Guy Can’t Win.

“If you’ve made friends or started a network of fellow travelers here in the SWS, great. Most entrepreneurs have to operate alone (until they find places like this, where they can find help, advice and coaching). That loneliness just intensifies the fear and sense of risk.

“But I’ll tell you the truth: As scary as being independent is…

“… once you’ve tasted it, you’ll be hooked.”

Most entrepreneurs who enjoy even a little success instantly become “unemployable”. After thinking for yourself, after taking responsibility for your success or failure, after engaging the world fully aware and experiencing the thrill of living large…

… you’re worthless to a boss. He can’t use anyone who thinks for themselves.

Are you wracked with doubt?

That voice you hear — the one knocking you down, digging a knife into your gut and highlighting your worst fears — is JUST A VOICE.

Most people allow others to rule their lives. Rules and bad advice and grim experiences dating back to childhood somehow become “the way it is”…

… and regardless of any proof otherwise, they will obey that voice until they die.

And yet, all you have to do…

… is acknowledge the voice (“Yes, I hear you, you little shit“), realize it’s not your friend… and lock it in a dungeon deep in your brain, where you can’t hear it anymore.

I speak from experience on this subject. I was ruled by The Voice Of Doom for the first half of my life. I didn’t even try to take responsibility for my success, because The Voice told me it was hopeless. That I was hopeless. That Fate had nothing but failure in store for me.

Then, I realized that The Voice was actually full of it. I proved it, slowly at first, by setting a goal outside The Voice’s warnings… and then achieving it. And then doing it again.

It’s like superstition. I used to be the most superstitious guy you’ve ever met. Literally, my life was dominated by superstitions.

Then, one day, I just decided to see how real those superstitions were. So I violated every single one of them. On purpose. If I had previously thought some action was “bad luck”, I would do it, blatantly, just to see what kind of bad luck occurred.

And, of course, no bad luck ever appeared.

The human brain is crammed with nonsense like this. Superstitions, bad rules, dumb beliefs, unfounded fears and ridiculous feelings of guilt and shame.

Especially guilt and shame.

You know what a fully functioning adult does? They don’t approach life believing it should be a certain way, or wish that life was a certain way.

No. They engage with life the way it really is. You make your own luck. Rules sometimes make good sense, but deserve to be broken when they’re clearly stupid. Belief systems often have nothing to do with reality. (You can “believe” you’re gonna win the lottery with all your heart and soul… and it won’t change reality one tiny bit.)

Fear is a natural part of our defense system… and it can get out of hand in modern times.

So you need to dig in and get to know your fears. Some are fine — don’t walk down that dark alley if you’re not prepared to deal with the things that happen in dark alleys.

Others are counter-productive — you had a bad experience once when you were 12, and so what? Get over it, put on your Big Boy or Big Girls Pants, and re-engage with life.

And shame? Guilt and shame are useless. On the road of life, feeling guilty about something is like setting up camp and refusing to move or progress any further.

Instead, try “remorse” — recognize when you’ve done something wrong, clean up the mess, fix what you’ve broken as best you can, and make amends to people you’ve hurt.

And don’t “vow” to do better next time.

Instead, actually DO something to change your behavior or habits. Promises are bullshit. Action is the only way to move through life in a positive way.

Don’t promise to do better. Just do better. This will probably involve learning something new — a new skill, a new way of dealing with life, a new set of behaviors.

Doing this will set you apart from the majority of other people out there, too.

The modern Renaissance Man or Woman is something awesome to behold. While the rest of the world increasingly sinks into a snoozing Zombie-state — indoctrinated, fooled, manipulated and played– you have the option of becoming MORE aware, more awake, more alert and ready to live life with gusto.

However, no one is going to force you to do this.

If you want to join the Feast of Life, you have to step up and earn your seat at the table. You will not be invited in. You will not stumble in by accident, or stroke of luck.

Nope. You must take responsibility for your own life… figure out what you want… and then go get it.

It’s a daunting task for most folks… too daunting to even contemplate.

For the few who know it’s what they want, however… it’s all just a matter of movement and action.

Yes, it can be scary. Life is terrifying, at times.

It’s also only worth living, for many people, when you go after it with all your heart.

There are no replays on this game. No second tickets for the ride.

You’re allowed to sleep through all of it. Most folks do.

If that’s not good enough for you any more, then welcome to the rarefied air of the entrepreneur world.