What Do Unschoolers Believe? Unschooling, Defined.

Unschooling, defined? How we’re different:

Unschoolers believe similar broad concepts about the nature of children and of learning, that set us slightly apart from other people. There are plenty of unschoolers who may disagree on some of the finer points, but the core beliefs are, in my opinion, fairly common ground:

Unschoolers believe strongly in the innate capabilities and curiosity of the human spirit from birth.

We respect and honor our children’s feelings, needs, and capabilities as much as is feasible (note that I didn’t say convenient, here). We strive to balance our kids’ legitimate needs and wants with the needs and desires of everyone in the family.

This cooperative living approach is subtly different from being “child-led”–but it’s crucial to grasp. I’ve been unschooling since 2004, and our style has evolved as we (and our kids) have grown.

Personally, I believe child-led parenting and education can, over time, create an environment in which the parents experience burnout and resentment.

But when we’ve overreacted or are wrong, we apologize and make amends. Everyone in the family is deserving of mutual respect, and we work daily on facilitating cooperation, understanding, and empathy between ALL family members.

Weknow that learning happens best when it’s not confined to a classroom or a book. We recognize that it’s impossible to refrain from learning, even when we try!

Unschoolers believe that the desire to learn is nearly insatiable, inherent in a child’s being, and if left to develop naturally (without the use of coercion, punishments, bribery, grades, gold stars, and the like), it will flourish and continue throughout one’s life.

Unschooler believe that dividing life up into subjects – and then labeling some of those subjects as universally important to know, and others as trivial or irrelevant – is a terrible disruption and hindrance to the natural flow of learning. The Finns already know this, by the way.

The end goal of unschooling is to raise adult humans who are “successful” in the sense that they have the tools necessary to make their way in the world, of course. But there’s a deeper meaning of success that’s also applied here, versus what’s applied to society in general.

Unschoolers are more likely to measure success in non-quantifiable terms.

We strive to give our kids the tools and the opportunities to be freethinkers. To carve out their own destinies instead of being bound by expectations or someone else’s life plans for them.

Unschoolers have also experienced parental trust often enough, that trusting themselves comes naturally.

They have been able to experiment and follow the threads of their interests without coercion, manipulation or grades. Those interests are more likely to lead to consuming passions and an expertise with a unique and marketable skill set.

By young adulthood, many unschoolers are in the uncommon position of being able to create abundance by following the natural flow of their passions, having the boundless enthusiasm to learn new skills, and honing skills they already possess.

So when we talk about unschooling, we’re not talking about ignoring our kids or letting them fend for themselves.

Quite the opposite actually–unschooling requires a deep commitment and consistency of interaction with our kids in order to work well and feel functional for both parents and children.

We’re also not going for Lord of the Flies-style role reversal, where kids are the tyrannical authorities and parents helplessly follow in their wake.