The funniest fantasy football names ever

Aug. 16, 2009

Updated Aug. 21, 2013 1:17 p.m.

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21. Children of the ZornWith Jason Campbell (left) and Chase Daniel (right) in the mix, Redskins coach Jim Zorn - a former NFL quarterback - has plenty of disciples. If the Redskins stumble early, will Zorn sign Malachi to a free-agent contract? AP PHOTO

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20. Kibbles and VicksFormerly the highest paid player in the NFL, Michael Vick was released from prison after serving a sentence for running a dog-fighting operation and was signed by Philadelphia. AP PHOTO

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19. LenDale's Tequila DietTitans running back LenDale White lost more than 30 pounds in the offseason. His secret? He gave up Patron tequila. "I was a big Patron consumer," he said. "That's what it was. I was drinking a lot, drank a lot of alcohol. I cut that out of my diet all the way."This is also a contract year for the former Trojan running back. Coincidence? GETTY IMAGES

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AP PHOTO

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17. Big Ben's TV RepairmenPittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was accused in July of sexual assault by a hotel employee. She claims he insisted she come up to his hotel room and "fix his TV." Once inside his room, she claims Big Ben blocked her exit and sexually assaulted her. Surprise - Roethlisberger denies the charge. AP PHOTO

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16. The BelicheatsIn September 2007, the NFL took away the Patriots' first-round draft pick, fined the team $250,000 and fined Bill Belichick (pictured) another $500,000 after catching a Patriots video assistant on the New York Jets' sideline during a game in Week 1. AP PHOTO

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15. Brady Quinn's BFFBFF is a text messaging abbreviation for "best friend forever" - probably not a term used between Quinn and Derek Anderson. AP PHOTO

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14. Cedric Benson Boat ToursThe current Bengals running back (left) and former Bear was arrested in 2008 on a lake in Texas for being drunk and disorderly while on his $147,000 motorboat with family and, uh, friends. AP PHOTO

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13. DontcallmepacmanDuring his failed return to the NFL in 2008, Adam "Pacman" Jones tried to ditch his nickname - but he couldn't ditch his old ways. Just ask his '08 sparring partner - his bodyguard. AP PHOTO

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12. Scooby Drew Brees DooAnother run deep into the playoffs would be a nice Scooby snack for Saints fans. AP PHOTO

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11. Forgetting Brandon MarshallAfter the Denver receiver returned from hip surgery in the offseason, Bronco fans hope they won't have to. AP PHOTO

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10. Spongebob ScorepantsNot the most fear-inspiring name. AP PHOTO

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9. Janikowski's VisaKnown as the "Polish Powderkeg" during his days at Florida State, Oakland kicker Sebastian Janikowski (11) is of Polish descent and has a history of wild behavior. AP PHOTO

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8. T.J. WhosyomamaA play on the pronunciation of Bengals wide receiver - and former Cerritos College standout - T.J. Houshmandzadeh (HOOSH-mun-ZAH-duh). AP PHOTO

6. The VacationersDallas quarterback Tony Romo caught some heat during the 2007-08 season for, during a bye week before the playoffs, jetting to Mexico with then girlfriend Jessica Simpson (right) and some teammates. Now that Romo and Simpson are kaput, maybe the quarterback can focus on winning his first playoff game. AP PHOTO

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5. Viagra FallsMore and more fans are drinking imported beer, the car industry's struggling. What will fill the advertising vacuum during games? Hmmm... AP PHOTO

3. Jacko's Boy PatrolOne thing has been lost in the outpouring of emotion followingthe King of Pop's death in July: He paid a mult-million dollar settlement to a family of a boy who claimed he was sexually assaulted by Jackson. Jacko also admitted in an interview that it's perfectly fine for grown men to sleep with boys who are not relatives. Ugh. Who else needs a shower? AP PHOTO

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2. Dan Snyder's Cash 4 ClunkersThe Redskins owner has been known to overpay for underachievers (remember Dan Wilkinson and Dana Stubblefield?). Here are his recent signings, which total nearly $225 million: Adam Archuleta, LaVar Arrington, Laveranues Coles, Deion Sanders and Bruce Smith. Just this last year, he has doled out a combined $162 million to Albert Haynesworth, Derrick Dockery and DeAngelo Hall. AP PHOTO

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1. Leinart's Beer BongersNot only has the former USC star been haunted by party photos, the Heisman Trophy winner has been relegated to third string for the Cardinals. Better pour yourself one of those beer bongs, Matty. AP PHOTO

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Everyone knows to pick Adrian Peterson and Peyton Manning - but who are 2009's fantasy football sleeper picks? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT.

21. Children of the ZornWith Jason Campbell (left) and Chase Daniel (right) in the mix, Redskins coach Jim Zorn - a former NFL quarterback - has plenty of disciples. If the Redskins stumble early, will Zorn sign Malachi to a free-agent contract?AP PHOTO

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