‘Sister Wives’ Season 12 Tell-All Part 2 Recap: More Tears, More Tony & a Man-Pony

“I better be careful. With this hairdo, I’m sure the ladies are all going to start mistaking me for David Beckham.”

Well, kids, we’ve come to end of another swell season of Sister Wives. As per usual, they ended the season with a two-part “Tell All” episode. However, unlike all the previous “Tell All” episodes (that essentially “told nothing”) last week’s episode was KILLIN’ IT in the drama department!

On the first part of the “Tell All” we watched as Kody basically told the world that he had no desire to go to Bone City with his wife Meri anymore, and, no matter how many times they go see that counselor who gives them the Multi-Wife discount, his mind probably isn’t going to change.

“If Kody would have said that about me on national TV, he’d still be removing my press-on nails from his eyeballs. Just sayin’…”

Part 2 of the Tell All starts out with Kody and all the sister wives talking about their daughter Mykelti’s wedding. (Apparently they’ve decided to refrain from chatting about Meri’s dusty loins for the time being.)

The host asks the group what they think of Mykelti’s husband—the non-mannered and always hungry for real steak tacos Tony (who, by the way, is Mexican). Some of the sister wives state that Tony brings “personality, excitement and pizzazz” to their family. (Um…is that code for ‘He’s an obnoxious pain in the ass that sometimes does jazz hands’?)

Everyone says that their previous reservations about Mykelti marrying Tony were because they felt Mykelti was too immature to get hitched…not because they felt that Tony was a rude, unappreciative and demanding clown.

Robyn said the family soon figured out that Tony was Mykelti’s destiny. She must have been very naughty in a past lifetime.

We flashback to Tony and Mykelti planning their wedding. Kudos to the editors for including the scene at the country club in which Tony legit pushes Mykelti out of the way at the table and barks that he wants to sit in the chair she’s pulled out (for herself…mind you.)

To recap: piñatas, 4,000 street tacos, Frisbees flying and Tony in a sweaty dress shirt from JC Penny throwing poor Mykelti around during their first dance. That’s all we need to really remember from this Wedding ‘o’ Horrors.

#NeverForget

They move things right along, and soon they stumble on the topic of Kody once again being the groom in the sweaty JC Penny dress shirt. The host asks if anyone in the family would be open to Kody taking on more wives.

Christine says no, while Janelle says maybe. Robyn said she’s open to God’s plans (while making it fairly obvious that Wife No. 5 would get the beJesus swatted out of her if she tried to pry that “legal wife” marriage license from Robyn’s cold mitts!) Meri could barely be bothered to answer the question, but finally stated that she didn’t see Kody ever taking another wife. (Honestly, it’s already a miracle there were four women willing to marry him.)

Kody says it’s unlikely that he’d get a fifth wife, citing the fact that he’s 50 years old and would not be taking another wife in order to have more children. (Ol’ Robyn can still churn out a few more should he feel the need to further spread his seed.) He makes sure to let everyone know that there are plenty of women who want to marry him though.

“For real, we’re gonna have to widen the doorway to fit your big ol’ head through it, Kody.”

Next, Kody and the sister wives discuss Meri’s trip to Seattle with Mariah and Audrey. The trip included Mariah basically blackmailing her mom into going to a gay bar with them. Meri tells the host that, not only was that her first time at a gay bar, but at a bar period. The rest of the sister wives chime in to reveal that they’ve never been inside a bar either.

“Wait…hanging out at my wetbar doesn’t count, right?”

The sister wives all discuss how it would be fun to have the experience of going to a bar, even though they don’t really drink. They discuss the environment, and meeting up with new people there.

Kody, looking so absolutely smug that it makes you want to grab him by the man-pony and smack him, speaks out, telling everyone in the room, “Frankly, I get hit on a lot.”

All of our faces when Kody says he gets hit on a lot…

Yes, Kody, I’m sure the ladies are beating your door down with piñata sticks to get to your SideShow Bob-lookin’ ass. COME.ON.

This may be the best scene of the season, simply because Meri legit looks like she is having a hard time keeping her street taco lunch down after Kody says this.

After that, they cart the adults off the stage and bring out the Brown family “Young Adults.” Thanks to her scoliosis plotline, Ysabel has managed to work her way up from “Background Kid” so she joins her siblings on the stage for the first time. They’ve also wheeled out Logan, Maddie, Caleb, Mykelti, Tony (who’s Mexican, BTW), Paedon (‘member him?), Mariah, Audrey and Aspyn for the occasion.

Mariah talks about how nice it was for her mom and Janelle to accompany her to the women’s march, despite the fact that they want to claw each other’s eyes out on the regular. (I still say they’d get better ratings if they skipped the “Tell All” season-ending episode and just did a “Polygamy Showdown” and let Meri and Janelle box it out, while Christine shrieks her way through “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” in the background. #RatingsGold.)

The host seems surprised that Mariah asked Meri and Janelle to go, and we watch a clip of Meri telling the camera that she’d basically agree to drink raw sewage if it means Mariah likes her again. (Meri saying she’d be willing to do anything Mariah asked her to do gets a real creepy smug smile out of Mariah.)

“Bet you 10 bucks I can get my mom to use her leggings money to buy me a pony.”

Mariah explains that she asked Janelle to attend because Janelle was the first feminist she ever saw in her life.

“She’s always been kind of empowered. I just remember being a kid and seeing her having a family and a career. I’ve always just been very inspired by her,” Mariah said.

Next, the host asks the kids how they felt about the march in Utah that Kody & Co. tried to strong-arm them into going to. The march, which was to protest against an anti-polygamy law being passed in Utah, was attended by Kody and most of the sister wives and some of their kids.

We are treated to a flashback of Paedon refusing to go to Utah to march. (Perhaps the thought of being in the car with Kody and Christine for a few hours sent shivers down his spine?)

Paedon said it was easy for him to say no but it was hard for him to get Kody and Christine to understand why he didn’t want to go. (Paedon, bro, you’re going to have to explain things much better than that if you want to keep your “On-Camera Kid” status. Keep this crap up and you’ll be off-camera faster than you can say “Background Kid!”)

“I really thought I was going to be the new Hunter….sigh…”

With all the protest talk out of the way, we next turn to how married life is treating Mykelti and Tony.

The host asks Tony how he is getting along with his new in-laws but what she should be asking is… what in the hell happened to Mykelti’s hair?! Either homegirl ordered really, really bad clip-on bangs from one of those Instagram companies, or she let Truely take kitchen scissors to her damn head.

How is THIS not being discussed?!

Tony says that being married can be hard (which is, of course, understandable considering those bangs), but that things are going well for him and Mykelti. He talks about his relationship with each of the sister wives, regaling the group of the playful relationships he has with Robyn and Christine and the “business partner” relationship he has with Janelle. (Um…??)

When it comes to Meri, Tony describes their relationship as, “it’s like…um, hi.”

So, basically Tony has the exact same relationships with the sister wives that Kody does.

Next we move on to the topic of the bloody bathtub birth of Maddie’s son, Axel. We find out that Maddie was in labor for five days. We get to watch clips of Maddie screaming in agony as she shoots Kody’s first grandchild into the world. (We also get to relive Kody bragging about his baby-birthing knowledge in his laboring daughter’s face.) Maddie says that this is the first time she’s watched the footage.

Tony, who is, of course, the “Kody” of the new generation due to his obnoxious personality and ability to say irritating things at a moments’ notice, offers his opinion on the whole baby-birthing process.

“She acts like giving birth is HARD.”

“That looks rough,” Tony says with a far-off look in his eye. (He’s probably thinking back to his wedding night, when he plowed through 85 street tacos and had to suffer through the birthing-like process that occurred in the bathroom of his honeymoon suite.)

Mykelti says that she and Tony aren’t planning on having kids for a while. (I’m sure Tony is enough of a handful on his own.)

“Mykelti, reign in your man-child, please.”

They hustle the Brown kids off the stage so they can bring back Kody and the sister wives. It’s time to get back to the topic on everyone’s mind: the decaying carcass that is Meri and Kody’s marriage.

Once again, the host ain’t playin’! She goes right in, asking the tough questions that their Polygamy Therapist Nancy has probably taken 16 sessions to croak out. The host straight-out asks the group if they think that Meri and Kody should just throw in the towel on this sad skeleton of a marriage.

“This feels UNSAFE! I need Meri to secure another season of this show.”

Everyone states that the marriage is worth fighting for, and Meri seems genuinely surprised to hear her sister wives say this.

“I want to make it work, but I don’t know how,” Kody says.

The host tries to get them to agree to go away together for a weekend, but Kody says it “doesn’t feel safe.”

What is he afraid of? Does he think Meri will cut his man-pony off in his sleep?!

Meri says she is tired of trying to force the relationship, and Kody keeps making sure to let everyone know that his marriage to Meri is “platonic.” Meri looks totally annoyed that her “husband” is informing everyone that she’s not getting any.

“I have a wart on my hand, Kody. Wanna tell everyone about that too? Geez.”

The host asks Kody what caused their marriage to hit a rough patch and Kody gets defensive and says he won’t discuss that on-camera. The host rephrases the question, asking instead if there was one incident that caused the breakdown of the marriage. We can almost see Meri chomping at the bit, dying to scream “I WAS CATFISHED!” but Kody denies it was “one” incident that soured him on Meri.

Meri tells Kody that “the ball is in his court.” He looks like he legit wants to hit Meri in the face with a ball for saying that.

The other sister wives reflect on how crappy Kody and Meri’s marriage makes things in the Cul-de-Sac of Broken Dreams.

“I’m just saying that Meri basically darkens any place she goes…that’s all.”

“It just sucks,” Robyn says, adding that she and the other sister wives have to try to keep their trap shuts about the situation so it doesn’t look like they’re taking sides.

Kody is still feeling rather sassy toward the host, so he snaps back at her suggestion from earlier about him taking Meri on a romantic weekend getaway.

“We dug this whole for 25 years,” he tells her smugly. “It’s not something we’re going to fix with a weekend getaway.”

“Meri, are you SURE you want to stay with THIS?”

The tell-all ends with Kody and Meri saying that they still have hope for their marriage. Sadly, it doesn’t end how we all want it to end: with Meri ripping off her mic, throwing it at Kody’s rattail and telling her “husband” and sister wives to kiss off.

Oh, well, maybe next season?

That’s it for this season of ‘Sister Wives!’ To read our previous recaps from this season, click here!

Way to alienate every person on here with one lame remark. So, you don’t watch this show, but you come on a website to read and then comment on a recap
Of the show that you’re too intellectual bother with? You seem like a lot of fun to hang out with ?

Great recap Holly and The Ashley! Yes this was almost as awkward as the first part. Looks like we will have to wait for the next season to hear about Meri’s catfishin yet again, which is a relief. The woman has no joy in her life and has very few people to blame besides herself.
Much like Viacom and Farrah, it would probably be worth it to just buy her MerBnB to get rid of her and live a more normal, peaceful life without the frowny cloud hanging around. On a side note, I noticed that Robyn and Christine have very similar facial bone structure. I guess with a small interbreeding community like a polygamist sect there is probably a smaller gene pool selection to cobble from, but are they distantly related?
And like I opined before, kinda glad to not have Tamryn Hall’s awkward interview mucking things up.

I’m not meaning this to be about there is anything wrong with anyone sexual preference. They have a large family one has already said they are gay but I wonder if Padeon might also be? I want him to be happy and he never looks happy, even though as much as I dislike Cody he handled his daughter saying she was gay better then mary he was very good about it. that being said if it was one of his sons I don’t think he would be very happy. I don’t know maybe I’m crazy that I think he is

Not here to downvote, Meech, just throwing in my two cents. I don’t get a “gay” vibe from him… I feel he is a VERY empathetic, sensitive person and he took that move harder than the rest. I am a similar type of person and when I watch his reaction, his emotions are palpable.

I don’t know how they can even stand being around that narcissistic fool Kody. He’s so into himself he should just marry himself four times and spare the world of his mentally abusive ways. Smh he needs counseling by himself. Meri doesn’t need him. Noone does.

When I had bangs 10 years ago I would have been legit envious of those bangs – they retain that curl and lift so well.

But I don’t think it is really the bangs that make that hairstyle tragic – it really isn’t framing her face well. I think she went to the new girl at SuperCuts to get that cut and color. Should have gone to the girl that had been there a little while.

She already did but it turned out to be a woman. She kinda deserves this humiliation since she keeps bringing up herself being a catfish “survivor” lol. But you are correct that she does need to leave.