help please?.........

ok, so today i have decided when to commit suicide, and i feel really really happy, but there's one thing left bothering me, my family, i dont want them to be sad , so what should i do? I dont want them to feel guilt or anything else. I know they dont care about me anyway, they just pretend they do. well what happened was, i originally decided to commit suicide last may but then i got really happy because i was so looking forward to doing it, that i made huge mistakes, i did things i would never usually do, but then i couldn't go through with it, because i wanted that false sense of happiness to stay alive(it was much easier to live that way). so, i done some very shameful things and now i cannot live with these conditions i have created for myself, and the worrying and guilt. any one have any suggestions? They would be very much appreciated!

I'd advise not going through with it at all... :unsure: You'll hurt your family a lot - despite the fact that it may feel like they don't care about you, they do! You're their own flesh and blood! There's gonna be no way to dull the pain of loss for them.

I don't know you all that well, but from what little I've spoken to you, I think you're an awesome person. I'd love to get you know you better...
Give life a second shot? :unsure: Reconsider?

Simply put, nothing you can say or do will make your family cope better with the grief. You say they don't care, but you undoutbedbly have a very bitter perception of life right now (after all, you are here). They do love you. Telling yourself different will not make things any easier.

Mistakes and shame can be undone. Can always be undone. Don't forget that.