This baby can sleep like the dead. When she wants to. Frankly, I could bang pots and pans – do, actually – outside her door and she’ll sleep blissfully through. Dog barking? Pshaw! She’s in the Land of Nod. Gunfire? Helicopters? Avalanches (yes, we live in a dangerous and unpredictable state of mind neighborhood)? Cloud nine. Eleven even. Then there are the times when she doesn’t want to. The time when a quiet knock on the door of the neighboring house will result in blasting screams from her crib. Not to mention the sound of our screen door opening, the dog woofing, the cat purring, the wings of angels silently fluttering. She’ll let you know how she feels about that racket and she doesn’t like it, NO SIR.

Ever the risk takers, we’ve been sleeping with her in our room since she was born. I did have to shun her to the other side of the bed at the beginning – not because I was waking her but because she was waking me. Now she sleeps over there, blissfully unfazed by my sleep talking, sleep scolding, sleep walking and other general sleep antics. I’m a fun one, hoo boy. But I’m not here to talk about sleep shenanigans. At least, not my own. The point is, she sleeps soundly for the first half of the night and she does that in our room. The other thing happening in our room is…us. Our sex drives have slipped back into sync. Well, it happened for a fleeting moment. And, during those moments, we’ve had a very nice time. A not totally quiet time. And that baby, bless her heart, SLEPT RIGHT THROUGH IT.

And that’s great. Cause I don’t intend to slip back into marital complacency. But what if we wanted to make noise? You know, actually sudden sounds? Sounds that are less like ooh baby right there and more like…something else? Some of you must have been through this and have excellent tips to share. Certainly, we’ll banish her to her room. But we’re talking about a brick house with wooden floors and the unfortunate ability to transmit noise like a whispering gallery from rafter corners to basement cobwebs. My only solution so far is to sidle up next to the HVAC system and have at it while the thing blows full blast. And you know that’s incredibly hot. I mean, just read that s sentence again. I used the word HVAC. Don’t you want to get down RIGHT NOW?

In an effort to protect your eyes (my own don’t need it, I assure you) I switched the comments for this post over so you can post anonymously and so that I can see them before/if they post. I’ll pretend you don’t know me and you pretend I don’t know you. Please tell me if you have any suggestions shy of getting a sitter. We’re not that into threesomes. 😉

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White noise in her room. (Whether purchased and playing through an iPod or a CD, or something like a fan.) TV on in your room. Or music. When she’s older, you’ll know when she’s in a deeper sleep anyway and can take advantage of that.

And best of all, just get her used to sleeping while there are noises about. Whether she sleeps through them or not, we’ve never made anybody be particularly quiet in what they were saying or doing while n was asleep, and it definitely pays off. Though noises distract her while falling asleep, once she’s asleep, it’s all just part of the background.

NPR is good station to play while the kid is young. Just think of how intellectual they will sound quoting what they heard over and over in that monotone voice.lol

Seriously, tho i use to leave the radio on in my kennel[ yes dogs] on a country and western station constantly,because it prevented the dog from barking. Plus they would sleep through anything when we travel to shows and a big plus in hotel rooms.

I have no words of wisdom for you (my child is a cat and can be thrown off the bed if he tries to be a buzzkill), but I wanted to tell you that this post makes me incredibly happy. So funny, so true, so awesome that you’re honest about this!!

I don’t really have any suggestions other than maybe some form of music player. But I would be happy to know about it if y’all come up with a great idea, because I’m expecting a similar issue in our future.

I am also encouraged to think that it *will* likely be an issue in our future, and that we will not end up living the rest of our lives in companionable celibacy.