Side Effects

This time thanks go out to deliciousthoughts for steering me right at the start, to VMK for steering me right at the end and to OneWhoAdores who always helps.

And this one is dedicated to Estragon. Unfortunately he can no longer be my editor but I will forever be grateful for teaching me how to write.

Just in case you were wondering, Panadoxolin is as fictional as Julie and Jayne.

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Julie stood in front of the incinerator with orders to destroy the product of three hard years of research -- their entire stock of Panadoxolin. It would be unthinkable to even consider doing anything other than follow instructions, so she opened the chute and tipped in every single packet of pills. Well, every one if you don't count the small box of thirty that had somehow made its way to the pocket of her labcoat.

So what was it about Panadoxolin that could make Julie act so unprofessionally? What was it that could make her risk her whole career for one small box of pills? What was the fascination? To understand that you need to know about Panadoxolin and you need to know about Julie.

The story started when she graduated from university with a first class honours degree in chemistry and had immediately been head-hunted by Acme Pharmaceuticals. Behind her quiet reserve she was bright, studious and conscientious; just the sort they were looking for. As one of their fast track entrants, she had been assigned to their prime project, the development of their new hay fever drug, Panadoxolin. It had looked to be a real break through, fast relief from the symptoms without any adverse side effects. Or so they had thought. It turned out that there was a side effect and, when they had found it, had been a doozie, enough to bring the project to a halt.

And it was only by chance that they had found it. They had got to the very last stages of clinical trials when, by pure coincidence, one of the subjects had eaten poppy seed rolls at the same time as taking Panadoxolin and, even then, the psychological effects might well have gone unnoticed until his wife had jokingly suggested that, with his hay fever cured, he should mow the lawn rather than watch football on the telly. To her amazement he had got up out of his armchair and made his way to the garden shed. Fortunately the effects were short lived but, for a period of an hour or so, he had become completely suggestible, rather along the lines of someone who had been hypnotised. He had commented that he had been horrified at missing the match but, until his wife had told him to stop mowing the lawn, that was what he did.

As soon as this had been reported back all trials of the drug were immediately stopped and they rapidly established a carefully controlled experiment which confirmed this bizarre result. As with hypnotism the subject couldn't be forced to do things completely alien to their nature, murder for example, but, for the most part, a simple suggestion was taken as an unbreakable command. It was strongly suspected that the small amounts of opium in the poppy seeds were the culprit but that was more than enough. For the time being it was back to the drawing board. All trials of Panadoxolin were cancelled and the order went out to destroy all stocks.

And that was the point where Julie's curiosity overcame her professionalism. This was the point where one small box of pills found its way into her pocket. As long as Julie could remember, all her fantasies had been about being controlled. As a teenager she had tried dabbling in hypnotism but without any real success. Now, simply by taking Panadoxolin and eating poppy seed rolls she could produce the same effect. Much as she understood the dangers, much as she understood the professional ethics, much as she understood the risk to her career, now that she knew what Panadoxolin could do it was more than she could bear to destroy all the trial samples. She simply had to find out what it was like.

The only left one question: who did Julie trust enough to help her with these experiments? If she was going to be someone's thrall then that someone had to be pretty special. Julie didn't need to think twice, there was only one possible candidate, her best friend and flatmate, Jayne.

Julie and Jayne had been thrown together at university when, through the vagaries of the housing system, they had ended up sharing a room. At first glance the two women could not have been more different. Julie was quiet, studious and science orientated; Jayne was an extrovert, fun loving party girl. But, despite, or maybe because of, their differences, they had become close friends. Now, six years later, and with them both in their mid twenties, they were still living together, renting a house in Finchley, a suburb of North London. It wasn't as if they were inseparable; they both had their differing private lives but they found it easier, and nicer, if they shared quite a bit of their time together and, in particular, they tended to eat together.

It was Julie's turn to cook so she made a fish pie which she knew would be appreciated by Jayne. Then, over the meal Julie told Jayne all about the drug trial and how it had all gone wrong.

"So let me get this straight, if you take Panadoxolin along with poppy seeds then you'll do anything anyone asks of you, that's wild!" Jayne exclaimed.

"Well, I'm not sure it's quite as simple as that but, that's the point. The reports on the testing were suppressed and all we minions got were the headlines. I can't leave it at that. I need to find out, I need to know." Julie said

"What do you need to know?" Jayne asked.

"How it works. What it's like. How it feels to be under someone else's influence. How it feels to surrender your will to another," Julie was getting quite agitated. "I've always wanted to... I've always wanted...." But Julie was reluctant, even now, to express her exact desires.

"What have you always wanted? OK, you don't need to answer that," Jayne said with a laugh. "Anyway, isn't it all pretty academic? You say that production has been halted and all supplies destroyed so how could you get hold of any? Hang on," Jayne had noticed the look on her friends face. "You don't mean...."

Julie just smiled, reached into her handbag, and pulled out the box of pills and put them on the table between them.

"Jesus! Is that them?"

Julie just nodded.

"And if you take one of those with some poppy seeds you become my complete and absolute slave?" Jayne asked, slack jawed.

"Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that but, yes, I guess so, or at least that's what I'd like to find out."

For a while there was just silence between the two women. Jayne picked up the box of pills and turned it over and over in her hand, obviously thinking things over.

"You... you trust me that much?" Jayne said at last.

"Of course I do," Julie replied.

"I'm flattered but, well, the thing is, I think I trust you too."

"How do you mean?"

"Look, you've just said that you're prepared to put yourself completely in my power. OK, that's very flattering but it's a bit one sided. It doesn't seem fair, somehow, fair on either of us. How about we take turns? First you try it and then I try it. If we like it we can go on and try it some more."

"Are you sure?"

"No, I'm not sure at all but I'm willing to give it a go," Jayne said as if reassuring herself as much as Julie. "More than that, the thing about taking turns is that it will help keep things in check. I'm not going to order you to do something stupid if I know that you're going to have the same power over me the next time. Does that make sense?"

"I can see what you're getting at but I'm not sure...."

"I'm not sure, you're not sure. To hell with it; never mind 'not sure'. If we only did things we were sure of we wouldn't do anything but, if we're going to do something as wild as this, then let's do it together."

Julie smiled at Jayne who smiled back. Jayne's response meant quite a bit to Julie. She really was a friend who understood, a friend she could trust.

"OK, so, when do you suggest we try it out?" Julie asked.

"Remind me, how long does it last?"

"The report said about an hour but we need to leave quite a margin for error," Julie said thoughtfully. "How about Sunday afternoon? That way if it wears off we can go down the pub for a few drinks but if it doesn't then we have all the way until Monday morning to recover. I volunteer to go first. How does that work for you?"

So it was that, come Sunday, they were sitting together in the lounge.

"How do we do this?" Jayne asked.

"I take one of the pills and then eat a poppy seed roll. After that we wait," Julie replied. "I've got a roll all buttered and ready."

"As simple as that?"

"As simple as that. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. But what about you?"

"Yeah, I'm ready. Here goes," and, with that, Julie swallowed the pill and started in on the roll.

"So, how long does it take before...?"

"I don't know but it as I haven't eaten much today it shouldn't take long."

"How will we know?"

"When I start behaving strangely, I guess. In the meanwhile we've got last week's Downton Abbey to catch up on."

As the trials and tribulations of the Crawley family played out on the screen Julie tried to see if she could feel any effects. Everything seemed so normal. It was only at the third add break, when Jayne asked her to make a cup of tea and she agreed without demur, that she realised that it had started.

It wasn't that she particularly minded making the tea, it was the way she felt compelled to do so. She tried to stop herself, to respond with a 'make it yourself', but she simply couldn't and she found herself getting up out of her chair and heading for the kitchen. Even though she knew what was happening she still had to fight down a wave of panic; she was, quite literally out of control. It was as if she were a passenger in her own body or maybe one of those Russian dolls, locked inside and disconnected from the outside world. Now there were two 'hers', an inner self and an outer self and the inner self had increasingly little control over the outer self.

And then the scientist within her took over. While the kettle boiled she tested the boundaries of what she control remained. The results were shockingly limited. The disconnect between the inner self and the outer self was growing and it was only with a certain amount of effort that she could perform simple actions; for example she willed herself to raise her arm and only just managed to do so.

On the other hand the outer self was behaving like a well programmed robot. She had been ordered to make Jayne a cup of tea and that was what she was going to do. The inner self watched as the outer self carefully and methodically boiled the kettle, found Jayne's favourite mug in the dishwasher, rinsed it out and put a tea bag in it. Then, while waiting for the kettle to boil, she stood like an automaton. She had nothing to do so she did nothing.

When the tea was finally made she took it back to the lounge. Whereas normally she would have just put it down, or possibly handed it to Jayne, she had no instructions so she stood in front of Jayne holding out the cup and waited.

Jayne giggled in delight as she watched her friend move the cup from place to place just as she was ordered. She wasn't the sort to abuse this position but, on the other hand, Julie had said how she wanted to experience being controlled and, if that was what she wanted, then there was no reason not to have some fun with it. She thought about ordering Julie to do the ironing, or tidy her bedroom, two tasks she loathed but somehow that seemed too petty. No, if she had a personal slave then she should perform personal tasks.

"The nail polish on my toes needs replacing," Julie said haughtily. "There's some Max Factor Red Passion on my dressing table. Go and fetch it. Don't forget you'll have to remove the old stuff. I'm out of nail polish remover so we'll have to use yours. Come along now, chop, chop!"

Julie's inner self felt a little affronted, this was supposed to be an experiment, not some sort of game, but, as she hurried upstairs in search of the nail varnish, she had to admit that this is the sort of thing she should have expected from Jayne. Anyway, there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

When Julie returned Jayne had her arrange the pouffe so that she could sit back with her feet up. Then Jayne instructed Julie to remove her trainers and socks. As she did so a wicked thought came to Jayne and she couldn't resist it.

"Smell my trainers," she ordered. "Go on, give them a good long sniff. You like the smell, don't you. It's like the finest perfume. You can't stop yourself, you want to sniff and sniff and sniff."

Julie took one of Jayne's trainers and held it to her nose. Her inner self was surprised to find that, as Jayne had suggested, the somewhat rancid trainers smelled like the finest perfume and she just wanted to take the smell deep, deep into her lungs, to luxuriate in the bliss it gave her. She was intoxicated and couldn't help but moan with pleasure as she held the trainer close over her nose.

"OK, enough of that," Jayne said after a while. "They've stopped smelling nice, they're just like normal." Julie reeled and almost gagged as the true smell of Jayne's trainers hit her. With her nose buried inside she got the full effect and even the sweetest smelling feet would have been overwhelming. What had, moments ago, been the finest perfume was now the rank odour of sweaty feet and she put the trainer down as fast as possible.

"Well, what are you waiting for," Jayne said, wiggling her toes. "Come along, get on with it." Julie picked up the nail varnish remover and some cotton wool pads.

"Make sure you do a good job," Jayne said as she lay back and picked up a copy of Hello magazine.

As Julie worked away she could feel the inner self receding; she had already lost control, increasingly she was also losing awareness. Not that that stopped her outer self from working, she had orders and that was it, She had no option but to completely focus on making sure she did the best possible job of re-varnishing Jayne's toenails. And, with this obedience, her outer self was feeling not just a compulsion but also a contentment, a pleasure in complying with Jayne's wishes. For her outer self the tiny voice of her inner self was like the buzzing of a mosquito, an annoying distraction to her serenity. It was as if, as she lost herself in her work, that she lost herself completely. Her worries, her cares, her concerns slipped away. The only thing that mattered was applying Jayne's nail varnish. When the last nail was done to her satisfaction she blew on them gently to dry the varnish.

"Oh, you have done well," Jayne said, looking up from her magazine. "You're like a good little puppy. Bark for me, puppy, bark, bark!"

Julie knelt up and barked.

With a wicked smile on her face Jayne took one of her discarded socks, rolled it into a ball, and tossed it across the room.

"Fetch, puppy, fetch!"

Julie scampered across the room and returned with the sock in her mouth. She dropped it in Jayne's lap, just as if she were a puppy.

"Wow! This is incredible!" Jayne exclaimed. She picked up the rolled up sock and tossed it across the room again, marvelling at how Julie scampered after it, in every way acting the obedient puppy. She looked down at her friend, knelt on the floor beside her and wondered just what to do next.

The problem was one of trust. If Jayne did what she really wanted to do, if she gave way to desires she had hidden away for years, she could have her moment of fun but at what cost? Her relationship with Julie was precious and, after years of keeping quiet, the last thing she wanted was push things too far, too fast and end up losing Julie's trust. On the other hand a certain amount of license had been given and Julie had said that she wanted to experience the full range of being controlled. Jayne could, of course, simply get her to perform other menial tasks but that wasn't exactly pushing the envelope. Moreover, she had long felt a need to rock Julie's world a little, to push her out from behind the repressed prude persona that she used as a mask to cover her insecurities. Well, that was part of the reasoning; Jayne was sufficiently self aware to realise that she had her own agenda and she was looking forward to what she was about to do. For starters, Julie was wearing far too many clothes. Well, that was easily remedied.

"It's awfully hot in here," Jayne said. "Really, really hot."

Immediately beads of sweat formed on Julie's brow and she started to pant.

"It's far too hot for clothes. You have to take them all off," Jayne continued and she looked on amused as her friend started to tear off her clothes until she was stark naked.

"Stand up straight, let me have a look at you," Jayne ordered. "Oh, and the temperature is just right now. You feel lovely and warm. That's fine, you look great. Now, one moment," Jayne reached into her handbag, found her iPod and fitted it in the docking station. She found the remote, selected her playlist of smoochy songs and, moments later, the room was full of Phyllis Nelson singing 'Move Closer'. "Why don't you do a little dance for me? Show me how well you can do. Yeah, like that but make it sexy."

As Julie gyrated sensually to the music Jayne looked on appreciatively. Now that her inhibitions had been taken away Julie was actually a pretty good dancer and, as ordered, she was more than a little sexy. Normally it was all but impossible to get Julie go clubbing, let alone to get her on the dance floor once you got there, but now she was strutting her stuff like a good'un. Jayne had once been taken to a pole dancing club and Julie was just as good as any of the girls there. It was a shame about the untrimmed pubic hair. Maybe that could wait until next time.

Meanwhile, Julie was finding that her inner self was reasserting itself. She still wasn't strong enough to resist the commands but the ego loss, the total immersion in Jayne's commands, was weakening and she was, once again, becoming self aware. The fact that she was also parading around like some sort of slut completely horrified her. The last thing she could consciously remember was painting Jayne's toenails but this was far beyond that. She wanted to cover herself up, she wanted to run away and hide, but she simply couldn't. Her outer self was still under Jayne's control, a control she still couldn't fight.

Jayne wasn't sure how much the next bit came from a desire to push Julie even further or something rather different but the sight of her friend dancing so sexily prompted the next command. "God, that's sexy," she said. "I bet it makes you feel horny as well. Why don't you... why don't you play with yourself."

Julie was almost overwhelmed by a wave of lust that rushed through her and she could feel her body responding. Her hand reached towards her groin, her fingers reaching for her sensitive flesh, searching out the inflamed nubbin of her clitoris....

"No! No! I can't," she all but yelled. Whether it was her inner self reasserting itself or whether she had been pushed too far was moot. The spell had been broken. In near panic she grabbed her clothes from where they lay on the floor and dashed off to her room.

"Julie! Julie! Are you OK?" Jayne had followed Julie upstairs and was knocking on her door but, sensibly, didn't try to enter.