As a membership adviser for a chapter, my retinas have been burned with images the past few years of young women making poor choices and then documenting those poor choices on SnapChat or Instagram. I do not care what you think....nothing is PRIVATE when you post on social media!!!

I just got this email from my chapter, and I wanted to share the text because I thought it was a great example of how to thank an alum who submits a recommendation.

Dear Sister,

On behalf of the recruitment team for the Zeta Nu Chapter of Alpha Delta Pi, thank you for submitting the Potential New Member Profile (recommendation form)/Legacy Introduction Form for <PNM name>. Our Recruitment Team is gearing up for another successful recruitment at Clemson University, and we look forward to meeting every Potential New Member (PNM) starting on August 19th!

As many as 1200 PNMs will register for recruitment at Clemson University in 2017, and each year the women are more impressive than the year before. The PNMs seem to all have exceptional grades and test scores, and each resume reflects extraordinary achievements in the areas of scholarship, leadership, community service, and extra-curricular activities.

Please know that we sincerely appreciate your recommendation, and we will carefully consider your input. As much as we wish everyone could find her home in Alpha Delta Pi, the intense competition and the invitation figures established by Panhellenic present major challenges for us as a chapter. The reality is that we will be able to call only about 75 young women our new sisters on Bid Day.

In accordance with privacy protections maintained for the PNMs, no member of the Recruitment Team, including advisors, can release or discuss any specific information regarding a PNM with an Alpha Delta Pi alumna. However, if you have any general questions about the recruitment process at Clemson University or in Alpha Delta Pi, please contact Zeta Nu's Recruitment Advisor, <name and email>, or Zeta Nu's Chapter Advisor, <name and email>.

Again, thank you for your recommendation. We are so excited to meet all of these amazing women so soon!

clemsongirl, very nicely worded acknowledgement! Receiving an acknowledgement of one's legacy reference would go a long way toward decreasing the sting of the legacy being released during rush. At least it gives the alum the courtesy of her feelings being acknowledged by the chapter as she extends a reference for someone who is more than a sorority sister to her-her daughter or her grand-daughter. Courtesy goes a long way in a person's social life as well as in business networking. Kudos to you and your Alpha Delta Pi chapter.

My husband ran into a mom at the gym whose daughter is attending his SEC alma mater in fall and plans to go through recruitment. The mom tells him "she can't wait to meet the xyzs-she hears they're the best on campus!" I asked him "you mean the house that most every ppm ranks first? The house with the highest return rate, that takes their pick of the pnms? What did you say????" He told her "keep an open mind and give every house you are fortunate enough to be invited back to serious consideration" I trained him well!!

That girl kept an open mind during rush and happily accepted her bid from Delta Zeta. But remember the Auburn girl whose mom told me she didn't need my rec because she already had ones for three or four chapters? Knowing the mom, I'm positive that those recs were for the very top, strongest recruiting chapters and they expected that the "lower" sororities were just places she'd visit first and second rounds. She ended up preffing houses that she never expected to return to, and was very disappointed in her bid. However, she stuck with it, was initiated and is an active, involved member.

That girl kept an open mind during rush and happily accepted her bid from Delta Zeta. But remember the Auburn girl whose mom told me she didn't need my rec because she already had ones for three or four chapters? Knowing the mom, I'm positive that those recs were for the very top, strongest recruiting chapters and they expected that the "lower" sororities were just places she'd visit first and second rounds. She ended up preffing houses that she never expected to return to, and was very disappointed in her bid. However, she stuck with it, was initiated and is an active, involved member.

I've had a similar experience this year. Was told that my friend's daughter was most likely going into a certain house where she has friends, and they'd let me know if she needed a rec for DG.
We're in the top 4 at this school (not my Alma Mater) so at this point my thoughts are she's on her own as far as I'm concerned. The one she thinks she'll just get a bid to happens to be the supposed top house. She may get through, and I hope she is happy regardless. Sometimes you just have to graciously back away.

One of my sister was the local Alumnae Panhellenic President. She told us about one of the gals who belong to the AP Group. The woman was a member of ABC sorority. The other women offered to write a rec for DD. Woman informed the other members of the AP their recs were not needed DD was going to pledge ABC or nothing. Have not heard the results of DD's recruitment.