Nine Necessities for Nerdy Newborns

You’ve just spent seven or eight months stockpiling a stash of regular newborn necessities like a year or two’s supply of diapers and a zombie apocalypse survival kit for your new little fam. But what about the other necessities? Isn’t life about being nerdy? Do you really want your kid to start out without a Star Trek onesie? Passing on your nerdy knowledge to your newborn is the only way to turn him from a red shirt into a Kirk.

Of course, every parent has their own brand of nerdiness. Plus, whatever side of the Star Trek vs. Star Wars debate you’d like your kid to land on, they’ll probably choose the opposite. Or maybe they’ll like Winnie the Pooh. But hey, at least you tried. Loving your kid enough to teach them how to make a Tardis gingerbread house means you’re well on your way to being a great geeky parent, even if they end up making Justin Bieber t-shirts instead of cosplay for the con.

So, nerds of all shapes and sizes (and brand loyalties), do your thing. While we’ve rounded up nine nerdy newborn things that are neat, we encourage you to stamp your nursery with your own brand of off-centeredness.

Because you can’t really teach them math very well through all that womb-goo, you’re going to have to wait until they come into the cold, cruel world before you start teaching them calculus. Just get ready for them to be bored in math class later on when it’s just too easy.

Being a fan of Firefly can teach one so much about the world. Shouldn’t kids learn early in life what it’s like to experience fiery, insatiable passion for something awesome only to have it inexplicably ripped away like a sophomoric summer romance? I can’t think of a better way to emotionally prepare for the high school years than to experience each episode of Firefly, falling more and more in love as they come nearer and nearer to the abrupt, brutal end of the series.

Begin to immerse them in the Firefly universe with this wittle baby-sized Jayne hat, and work up to regular viewings of the full season. I don’t care, I’m still free; you can’t take the sky from me.

It’s a little weird to think that just nine short (or really freaking long) months ago, your adorable little human was just a bunch of cells dividing. Once, your baby was smaller than 1/5 of the period at the end of this sentence. Thinking small tends to expand the mind.

Wouldn’t it be great to kick off your baby’s life with a little background knowledge of the smallest things in the universe? These periodic table building blocks will teach them about the literal building blocks of all things.

This sturdy, nerdy diaper bag is the exact thing you need to meet other TNG-loving parents like you who would rather be raising kids on the Enterprise. You can even customize your diaper bag’s color and pin.

If you’re the kind of parent who isn’t willing to give up awesome music in favor of nonsensicle, repetative baby tunes and you haven’t stumbled upon Rockabye Baby! albums yet, we’re here to tell you that it’s possible to have your cake and eat it too.

These renditions make up the musical space where baby and parent can share a mutual appreciation for great rock music. From Pink Floyd to Journey to Metallica, the vast array of offerings most likely includes your old faves.