A writer and an editor are making their way through the desert. The sun is beating down, and they're parched beyond belief. Up one dune and down the next they go—walking, stumbling, crawling. Just when they're about to give up, they look over a sandy crest and see an oasis.

Revitalized, they stagger toward it, with the writer leading the way. He lands face first at the edge of the cool water, cups his hands, and drinks.

Suddenly, a few feet to his left he hears a soft splashing sound. He looks over and sees that the editor is peeing into the water.

In stunned disbelief, the writer yells, “What the hell are you doing?”

The editor, without even looking up, says calmly, “I'm making it better.”

A: Eleven. One to screw in the bulb. Two to tighten it. Three more to tighten it a little more. Another four to tighten it so much that it breaks. And the eleventh to say, “Ah, what the hell—let’s just use the wires.”

With the Pharaoh's army hot on his heels, Moses came to a halt at the edge of the Red Sea. They were trapped.

“Any ideas?” He asked his top military commanders. The general in charge of the army shook his head sadly. “There's nothing we can do. If we had time, I'd build a series of pontoon bridges. But it's too late. The Pharaoh is almost upon us. We're doomed.”

“Well, it's an ocean, isn't it. And you chaps haven't had much to do up to now,” said Moses, turning to his admiral in charge of his (rather small) navy. “So can't you do something?"

"Sorry, chief,” said the admiral. “Normally I'd have the boys lash together a fleet of barges to sail us across. But we simply don't have the time. I guess we're sunk.”

Moses looks around and says, “So, does anyone have any ideas? Any ideas at all?”

To his surprise, his public relations advisor raised his hand.

“You! You have a solution?”

“Sorry, boss. Not really a solution. But if you can get us out of this, I'll guarantee you a double-page spread—minimum—in the Bible.”

A public relations consultant and his client were walking to a meeting when they saw a fierce Rottweiler attacking a small child. Without hesitating, the client rushed forward, grabbed the dog with his bare hands, and wrestled it to the ground.

After several bloody and terrifying minutes of a life-and-death struggle, the client managed to kill the beast and thus rescue the child. As he lay on the ground, bleeding and gasping for breath, unable to talk, a passing journalist jumped out of a car and ran over to them to ask what had happened.

“What a story!” he said, when told the details. “Local hero saves child.”

“If I can just correct you there,” the public relations consultant interrupted. “I am Mr. Smith's spokesman, and I should alert you to the fact that Mr. Smith is just visiting this area."

“Well, that's fine,” said the journalist. “Visitor risks life to save child. So, what does Mr. Smith do?"

“As a matter of a fact," the PR consultant explained, “he is the chairman of a major listed company.”