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Author
Topic: blah (Read 17107 times)

Im sure all of us hate the fact that we are positive but I just felt like complaining about being positive in Puerto Rico. IT SUCKS!!!!!! I have tried meeting people on poz.com but i guess there are a total of 13-15 people on there most of which are not my type. I try dating people where i dont know their status but i guess im still so insecure of the situation that once i do come clean i dont know where to go from there (i get scared of making any more moves and cant read whether they just want to be friends or keep going further).....puerto ricans dont know how to just "say" what they want...they are notorious for not saying anything and just leaving things be. So i dont know what to do (its like learning how to date all over again).......

im just annoyed because i like someone and dont know whether to try to move for more or just leave it be hehehe....

Its suprising that i only know 2 people with HIV, live in san juan (highest HIV rate in the caribean and for a small island its quite prevalent), and still only know 2 people. The puerto rican way "live in denial, shame, and keep your mouth shut"

but i know what you mean, it happens to me as well... and i live in amsterdam... and poz.com doesn't help.... and it's like the coming out process again, and i never had a coming out of the closet process, so i have to learn how to do it now, and it really sucks...

right now i'm dating a guy, really cute... and i'm doing it "the puertorican" way... i'll tell him when the time comes, i just hope when the time comes i'll know that it came, and what to say!!!

The puerto rican way "live in denial, shame, and keep your mouth shut"

one of my ex-boyfriends is puerto rican, bi sexual and still "in the closet" closets are for clothes, not people. oh well. but when he and i hang out he talks non-stop. it drives me nuts even though i talk alot too

it's not easier... i still think about it all the time... but it's just i'm afraid of rejection when i really like someone, and i really like him... so i guess i just hide it for a while, have a good time, and when things get really serious, then i drop the bomb.... right now it's just a thing, that we both don't know where is going to...

also i have the possibility that he gets to know me better for who i am and not for the diseases i carry... so then later on he will be able to make a much more informed decision...

Senor: I do agree that you are in quite uncomfortable situation on the Island. However, there are some things that you can do in order to compensate for the variables that exist right now. As far as your prospect list is concerned...ASK Questions, get them involved with some sort of conversation in order to make them feel comfortable with you during conversation.

The more comfort that is extended to them the more they will open up and say what is inside of their heart. Keep in mind that they too have experienced other things just as well and it is based on those things as to how they are currently reacting in the here and now.

Yes, it's a club that's been around in some form or another (was called Krash for a while in the mid-90's) on Av. Ponce de Leůn in the Santurce section of metropolitan San Juan. If you're staying in the tourist Condado area it's an easy walk over to meet boys.

I've never noticed this during our conversations, but then again I talk a lot!

well thomas you talk "normal" stuff and you're not repressed. this exBF i'm talking about complains a lot because for the sake of his latino family he has to "act straight" and he's repressed so when he has my ears he lets everything out ... oops,, sorry for the "thread hijack" puertorico2006 ... my point is, i know a thing or two about repressed latino men. it's sad when anyone has to hide important facts about their lives - that's why i say honesty is the best policy

This is an interesting thread to me ... after the last presidential election I was reading an article in the Seattle Weekly about the urban/rural divide, how cities feel nuturing to people like us. It's easier to find a home in the margins in the cities than in the country. Some of your sentiments are echoed here.

I also find that it's really common to hear things about how tough it is to be gay when I grew up : __________ (fill in the blank). I've heard this over and over from Puerto Ricans, Arabs, Catholics, Mormons, Blacks, Chinese..... So, I can only conclude that it's tough to be gay.

Basically, I have found that finding other poz guys is not so easy, and just about anywhere you run the risk of rejection.... or worse... violence. Be thankful that you live in Puerto Rico and have relatively easy access to moving to the urban areas in the US. Best of luck to you.

Logged

Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Yes, I find it odd that it's so hard to find other HIV+ gay men in San Juan. That's a metropolitan area of 2 million people, and the rate of infection is significant on the entire island, though I will plead ignorance on the specifics of infection in the gay community there. I'd assume it's as high or higher than the non-gay population. Therefore, when you go to Eros you must assume that the same percentage of patrons is infected. This is how I viewed everything when I lived in NYC, as I do here in Philadelphia where both cities show significant infection rates.

Whether other guys fess up to being infected, or get tested so that they know is another issue. And yes, I understand you're point or belief that it's a unique cultural manifestation related to Boriqua-ness. I've not visited San Juan now in 6 years so I'm not going to offer any insight on that.

Why don't you return to the 13-15 "not your type" individuals you have located and simply make a couple your friends. Maybe you can meet some of their castaways and locate something more suitable? Not everything is available via the internet.

ugh crystal meth...i hate that drug...thats the reason i ended up positive ....that is no longer part of my life thankfully ;-)

EROS is now called KRASH and yea its fun, but nothing comprared to the clubs in fort lauderdale (where im from)

I know that puerto rico has a VERY high percentage of people with HIV but of course they keep their mouths shut......

hahaha but anyways my little depressed "blah's" are gone for now ;-)....hahaha had a nice date last night (with someone negative but it went well)....i didnt think he was going to call me back after i told him i was positive...:-)....

little things like that make your day...even if it doesnt go anywhere it feels good when you dont get rejected because of that (i can handle rejection based on almost anything else)

Eros is Krash? Krash once became Eros... I see the sense of creativity is alive and well in the gay community of La Isla Bonita. Did they clean the hustler trash out of the Atlantic Beach Hotel yet? Used to adore Sunday tea there... lots of carrying on and I was ever so popular.

Yea Eros was orignally Krash but they went back to the old name. I guess they tried using nostalgia to bring people back (not sure its working all that well).....

I havent been to atlantic on a sunday in FOREVER so i wouldnt know ...i havent seen much hustler trash there though when i went....i think they all moved to JUNIORS another club lol....the best club i like here is MEDUSA though...its really fun

I never get a sunday night off!!!!! I need to switch jobs (actually on my list of things i have to do)

Medusa must be relatively new. Where is it located. I adore San Juan, but like I said haven't visited in ages. I used to go once per year in the winter. I even went to Vieques one visit and really enjoyed that trip... I've travelled around much of the main island. From what I've read though the city has changed a bit in recent years, with more upscale restaurants, etc. My favorite restaurant was Chayote... very chic and excellent food. But I also enjoyed more home style places like La Casita Blanca.

dont know where i want to move....my best friend lives in boston i should go visit and see how i like it....we used to live together in fort lauderdale...he wants me to move with him so i should consider it...but i dont know if i can handle the cold lol

I used to know a gay deadhead. I think he's a yuppie now though. He made me go with him once to see the Dead in the late 80's and I was horribly mortified by it all, though the mushrooms or acid we did were good and strong.

lol...meth doesnt exist in puerto rico....unless you find it with some crazy person who brought it on a plane from fort lauderdale...hehehe happened once and i walked into the hotel room...smelt meth and told him he can find someone else to have sex that night:-)

one of my main reasons for moving back here :-Dbut now i got out of the addictive cycle so i can handle saying no ;-)

cubenesis crowd lol...i had good times with mushrooms :-S have no hatred towards that hahaha but ill still abstain ;-)