A deep rough preview to the 2017 US Open

One of our readers sent us his preview of the US Open and we thought it was worth sharing. Like the rough at Erin Hills this preview runs a little deeper than others. And we’re assuming it’s all very much tongue in cheek.

Another US Open and another week of players complaining about how difficult the golf course is. I used to do this every time someone asked me to play Magenta Shores. Then I realised it was either that or go to work.

The deep fescue that line the wide fairways of Erin Hills has some players worried. Maybe they should play the Irish drop rule like we do down at Barnbougle? It speeds up play and we’re often sitting by the fire drinking Sullivan’s Cove by midday. It’s loads of fun.

Even Kevin Na took to social media to vent his frustration as the deep rough which could see him struggling to finish his round in under eight hours. He may struggle to make his second round tee time.

The USGA have relented and took a whipper-snipper to some of the fescue overnight. Same thing happened at Eastlake Golf Club many years ago. Some disgruntled member whipper-snippered the rough beside the 13th green. His wife says he hasn’t touched whipper-snipper since.

The rough isn’t the only major hazard at Erin Hills. Some of the bunkers looks diabolical. But Branden Grace tells me he knows an easy way out to get out of them.

Jason Day, Adam Scott and Marc Leishman are really just using the event as a warm-up for the Presidents Cup in September. The event is scheduled to be played in New Jersey, USA but there are strong reports that it will be moved to Vladivostok, Russia.

While I don’t like to make any predictions about golf, it’s clear that Jason Day will win this week.

A beast of a golf course, a brutal major and some long, slow rounds should suit Day perfectly. As long as he doesn’t sprain an ankle, hurt his thumb or catch a cold, Day will win his second major this week.

The only hint of vertigo may come as he climbs back to number one in the world.

Even if Dustin Johnson manages to leave the house without slipping over this time, we can’t see him beating Day.

I’m not so sure Johnson particularly likes playing golf all that much anyway. He seems to play golf like he’s not sure what tournament he’s playing in and just wants to finish his round and get back home. You can’t blame him really.

But Johnson became a father for the second time this week. Weirdly, more kids in the house coincided with a stronger desire to get out and play golf for me, so Johnson may soon be spending more time on the golf course. Imagine how good he is going to get now.

Rumour has it that if Dustin Johnson gets into contention this year the USGA will be hiding all scores on even-numbered holes until after the round so no one has any idea who has won until an hour after the final round.

If it comes down to an 18-hole playoff on Monday, lets hope Kevin Na isn’t in it. He may have the whipper-snipper out on Sunday night and it could be the first-ever two-day playoff in the history of the tournament.

Adam Scott is paired with fellow Masters winners Bubba Watson and Sergio Garcia for the first two rounds. This could be like playing golf with a couple of fire-crackers going off every few minutes.

I jest. Sergio is now a major winner and a much more mature person than he was 10 years ago. So maybe it’ll be just one fire-cracker going off every few minutes.

The last six major winners have all been first-timers suggesting golf has gone a little soft over the past few years. There are too many underdog champions and blokes getting themselves off the “best players never to win a major” list for my mind.

Even Phil Mickelson agrees and has decided not to play in favour of attending his daughter’s graduation.

Golf is unfair and ridiculous. It shouldn’t be rewarding persistence or patience. Lee Westwood will be odds on to win a major soon. And where will that leave us? We’ll need Monty to make a come-back to keep us all entertained.

Whatever happened to the days when that one bloke would win just about everything? Whatever happened to him?