April 7, 2008

The 80s boy is at crossroads. When he grew up enough to understand his surroundings, he saw light-bulbs, scooters, telephones( where you put a finger in and rotate till the end, causing a zirrr sound), none of them functionally existing now. The 80s boy was sent to school where he learned and made friends. Every morning he watched his father with his squint eys, who woke up leisurely, did his daily and household chores, read newspaper and went to office on a scooter. The 80s father returned back in evening and enjoyed a cup of tea, watched TV and discussed politics with an occasional guest. A simple dinner, little bit of family discussion where the 80s father told his son to study, cited examples of successful people with a hope that the son would reach there too. Then they all called it a day. The 80s mother loved her child and wanted him to study and become a successful person. The 80s boy was told to stay ahead in the race. The 80s boy took all this seriously and he looked around and pondered about his life. He thought when he will grow up he would live a simple life like his father, but he found that his surroundings, his house, his town inspires him to achieve something bigger which leads to a "better" life. This pursuit of 80s boy changed his world.

The 80s boy studied and became active at school. He participated in different activities, sports to see how good he can be. The 80s boy saw the 80s girls. He was inquisitive, painfully shy and slightly frightened by this foreign creature. Co-existence brought the fact to him that this new kind of human isn't much different except for her long hairs, candied voice and un-boyish choices. Unwittingly, the 80s boy was attracted to the 80s girl and tried to find out why she smiled or flipped her hair, asked a particular thing and did stuff that was weird from his perspective. The 80s boy was dreamy and wanted to learn more about the outside world which he hadn't seen. His curiosity was his inspiration and his dreams were his motivation. The 80s boy wanted to excel wherever he laid his hands, just like his peers. The small battles became fierce and it fuelled a high degree of self-esteem that sometimes bordered with egotism. Competition, politics, finding shortcuts, peer rivalry, shrewdness were the order of 90s and later, the 80s boy soon got accustomed to it and went on without much difficulties. The 80s boy was headstrong, adamant about what he wanted. He knew he had to swim or he will be drowned in the ocean, either by his incompetence or being pulled down by other. He knew he had to cross the ocean, but what lies on the other side? He could just dream about the other side.

The 80s boy kept on fighting for the best things. He won many and lost many. A loss hurt more than a win pleased, because his pursuit made him feel that winning is just habitual while losing is disastrous. He became mechanical and quantified many facets of his life, which shielded small pleasures that were meant to be just felt. The 80s boy didn't rever the cool breeze falling on his face in the evening, his mind was preoccupied with the work that he needs to finish at night. Time flied and the 2000s arrived. The 80s boy came out of his teens and joined the rat race to achieve "something" wilfully, as if he were not already a part of it. He ran after elusive things and was run out. He went after something aggressively and was stumped. He tried to score maximum but was caught somewhere in between. He was given yellow card for his perceived pugnacity, aptly or otherwise. But, the 80s boy was clever and found his own ways to score in the game of life. Every failure made him shrewd and tougher than ever before. He won battles, one after another until he was bemused about the final outcome. What's there at the end, the other side? He remembered his father living a simple yet satisying life, and look, he himself is living a complicated and a no better life, after all this turmoil. The 80s boy wondered about this world, wondered what went wrong either with himself or with the system? The 80s boy, now in his 20s(so-called quarter-life) is perplexed what is worth running after that keeps him going and most importantly, contented? He earns a lot in this globalized world, still he yearns to earn more by putting up some extra fight. He looks unidimensionally at other 80s boys who are ahead of him and so he never realized that he left many behind him. The big things of 80s like aeroplane, AC, car are commonplace now. There are more luxurious and branded things now, though the 80s boy is fully aware of what he wants and what he doesn't. Still, he's just a part of the race. The 80s boy is at crossroads, once again.

April 6, 2008

"I'm on my quest to demystify this surreptitious world which is increasingly turning hostile towards my feelings. I wish to strike a balance between my idiosyncracies and the societal trends. I wish to know more and more people all over the world. I wish to get hold of my randomly flowing thoughts and save them, that's why I'm here."

This is how I have depicted myself for last three years on my blog. While it is still not utopia for me, I believe it is high time to express myself in a different way.