Monday, June 9, 2014

The Tale of the Cursed Apple

I don't have much substance in today's blog post...I simply wanted to tell y'all about something that happened over the weekend.

It starts with an apple.

I bought this apple a few weeks ago and put it in the fridge. Like many things in my fridge, it got pushed to the back and forgotten about.

We didn't eat this apple. This apple was designated for Hewitt. You see, instead of a dog, I have a pet fruit bat. Seriously, this dog loves any kind of fruit. So, often I'll buy apples and chop them into bite-sized pieces to give him as treats. He's got a pretty sensitive digestive system so these "natural" treats are great for him and something he seems to enjoy. Also, I keep them in the fridge in a Tupperware container in the summer so they are chilled.

On Saturday, I discovered the apple I'd purchased for him a couple of weeks ago and decided to chop it up. My normal "apple chopping knife" was dirty so I decided to use a paring knife we'd received as a wedding gift. I used my handy apple slicer to get the apple into smaller chunks then I planned on chopping with the paring knife.

On my first cut, I sliced into my finger instead of the apple. It was kind of the side of my finger so, of course, it immediately starts bleeding ridiculously bad. M saw it and decided to resume chopping since I was nursing my injury.

M's first chop using the paring knife resulted in him cutting his finger as well! (This time it was his fingertip.) So now, M is bleeding...but we obviously didn't take that as a warning to stop. M, despite his injury, chopped the rest of the apple and placed it into the container. While he was chopping, he decided to feed a few pieces to Hewitt (who is always in the kitchen we we are chopping anything). This is not unusual and happens all the time.

After M and I were both able to stop the bleeding we went into the living room to watch tv. A minute or two later we heard the unmistakable sounds of a dog puking. (Those of you who are dog owners know what I'm talking about.) So a hunched over and grunting dog resulted in a pile of chewed apple.

This apple obviously didn't want to be messed with. It tried to stab us both and poison Hewitt. Never have I felt more like my Disney idol Snow White than this. (Except when maybe I try to bond with adorable woodland creatures like the chipmunks in my parking lot.)

It was a cursed apple. CURSED! Needless to say, after all of that mess, we just threw the rest of the apple away. Bad apple juju...you know?