So, I'm not what you would call a "Halloween Lover." I scare VERY easily. Like, whisper at me from across a room in a slightly menacing tone, and I will huck a desk at you and run away sobbing.

I'm obsessed with true crime so I already think there is evil hiding everywhere, so when Halloween comes and we all intentionally get creepy it's a little much for my delicate nerve endings.

Here's the last time I dressed up for Halloween over 6 years ago. I got stuck in this dress in a Value Village change room the size of a Port-A-Potty, paid too much for it and look how ill-fitting it is by my elbow. Like the fabric IS MY SKIN. Anyways, it was the best party ever and I don't know whose beard that is.

I also get sweaty and stressed if someone even mentions creating a homemade costume or the worst three initials in the world: D. I. Y.

Get OUT of here with your home wizardry. I was raised by a single Mom who had no time so she taught me to buy everything. It is quick, easy, efficient and you are supporting businesses. I don't want to be up late, splayed on the floor, hacking away at cardboard, and losing a roll of tape every five seconds. Spray paint? That's for graffiti artists. "Upcycling" sounds like a very hard bike ride. No. For me, Michael's is just a giant Emporium of Inadequacy.

So, Stella's homemade costume with her Dad was very strictly THEIR project. So much so that I hid in the bedroom to be sure I didn't somehow accidentally volunteer to help, until it was revealed I could do the makeup for her, which I am obsessed with. I went to Sephora instead of College basically. We did a trial run last night and ohmygod, putting makeup on the plump soft peach fuzz skin of a 7 year old made me feel so old and wizened and terrible. Cool.

But the worst part about Halloween is I LIKE to THINK I am not a dowdy grumpy Mom nerd. But when those firecrackers that sound like a barn exploding are let off right outside the apartment and all my internal organs turn to fluid, I PRAY those idiots lighting them off lose their favourite fingers.

After we take Stella out trick-or-treating and I steal her best candy, even though it will give me nightmares, I WILL fire up something spooky on Netflix because, frankly, I haven't finished Stranger Things Season 2 and it is SO GOOD I don't want it to end.

I hope however you celebrate the day it doesn't involve raisins, blood loss or last minute costume meltdowns. And remember to eat the ghost-shaped peanut butter cups. They taste better and it might be because they are haunted but I am willing to take that risk. Happy Halloween, y'all!

If you're not into awesome kids in the 80s figuring out spooky mysteries (how disappointing), here are some other amazing titles to watch on Halloween night.

Stranger Things 2

It Follows

Gerald's Game

Hannibal (3 seasons)

What We Do In The Shadows

The Babysitter

Mindhunter

As a member of Netflix Canada's #streamteam I will be giving you the straight goods on what I'm watching each month in exchange for a yearly membership. It's a match made in heaven, really.