Weapons of Mass Instruction

Was at the entrance to the apartment building where I am staying, and the manager was speaking to some people about someone who was 70 years old but looked 50. Some other people were around, including a man in a military uniform and an older man who was being called "Mr. President". I recognized this as George Bush Sr.

Note
I don't think he really looked like George Bush Sr. or not, but in this context he was supposed to be an older former president.

I shook his hand and said hi in a friendly way, but shifted quickly toward a joking and mocking manner.

me: "So you're the third president to be coming around this building today! And here we have... let's see, a major general?"

military man: "Sargeant major general."

me: (amused) "If I remember correctly, that's considered an even bigger deal. What are you guys doing here?"

military man: "We're not going to discuss that."

me: "AND it's a SECRET! Wow, tons of important people coming by such a cheap residence--nothing special about it at all. I can't think of one reason they'd be interested except...wait..."

I made a gesture of exaggerated false realization.

me: "Wait a minute! I'M HERE!"

At this point I made an ominous face and glared, pointing.

me: "Well I don't want you important people to stress yourselves so much with long trips to my apartment. Because very soon, we'll be bringing what's in this apartment to you."

Then I turned to walk back to the building. A younger man who had been walking along with us commented to the group.

young man: "We have confirmed that the building contains weapons of mass instruction."

me: (stopping) "You could put it that way. I kind of like that."

young man: "When the Chemical Brothers told me what was going on here, I didn't believe them. This is going to blow people's minds...literally."

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The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the
words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction
—in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to
be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be
crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less
disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?