by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/WrestleManiacs
MAD PROPS: Victor Alicea sent me the best package I've received all year,
Questioning an idea, a choice of words, an opinion - *none* of these are
equivalent to personal attack. Perhaps you should think about that the
next time you start calling me names. If you don't like my opinion of
your opinion, you have two choices: don't read my opinion, or don't put
yours where I can read it and be moved to a response.
Oh, and this one's JUST for Sean:
Either shit or get off the pot.
QUICK QUOTES: AOL 47.75 (- .19), TWX 71.02 (- 1.49, last year this time
69 1/4), SPLN 8 3/16 (- 11/16, last year this time 37 9/16 - listen to the
wailing workers of SportsLine...well, the ones that are left, anyway)
WCW logo - what quacks and limps?
TV-14-DL - Here's some "stills" from last night's pay-per-view - close
captioned logo
And HERE is a white limousine, carrying "our new CEO!" Who can it be?
STAY TUNED!
Opening Credits
From the Bren Events Center on the campus of UCI in Irvine, CA - home of
the Anteaters - 30.10.2K LIVE on TNT, *this* is WCW Monday Nitro! As a
graduate of nearby UC Riverside, let me just say that UCI *SUXXXXXX*. (Oh,
hey, Dave Fields!)
WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE: MARK JINDRAK & SEAN O'HAIRE (with Halloween Havoc
stills) v. KIDMAN & RAYMOND STEREO (with Karlos & Tygryss) - Tygress is
sucking on a blowpop...where's Lenny and Lodi? Konnan carries a newspaper
article about Jindrak, and I sense jealousy. Jindrak & Mysterio start - I
think he almost comes up to his abs here. Mysterio slaps him - spunky!
Jindrak clotheslines him down. Towering suplex. Konnan made a porn joke!
Chop, into the ropes, duck, Rey to the body, to the head, into the ropes,
reversal, leapfrog by Jindrak, got him up, Mysterio counters into a head
scissors takeover! Into the ropes, trademark spin by Rey, Kidman with an
alleged headscissors as well. Kick, kick, chop, slap, into the opposite
corner is reversed, wacky armdrag by Jindrak, tag. Right hand by O'Haire.
Konnan is muted on "salad tossers," I think. Kidman counters with a
dropkick. Right. Into the ropes, reversed, O'Haire catches him but Kidman
manages to slide down - sunset flip is staved off, but Rey must have made
the blind tag, because he springs in with a sunset flip of his own...but
O'Haire is in the ropes. Jindrak with a blind shot, O'Haire with a
clothesline. Scoop...and a big slam from O'Haire. Tag to Jindrak. "We
punish people!" and he punishes him. Into the ropes, flipped up into
O'Haire - Rey tries to counter the powerbomb by dropping into a rana, but
O'Haire picks him back up, drops him on the top rope into a slingshot
powerbomb! 1, 2, Kidman saves. Into the corner - tag to Jindrak. Flying
clothesline puts Mysterio flat. 1, 2, arm draped on the bottom rope. A
veteran move! Put in the corner, Jindrak kicks. To the opposite corner,
foot up, boots up again, third try results in a rana. Mysterio ducks the
lunge and tags Kidman - top rope back elbow. Dropkick for each man.
Tornado bulldog for O'Haire. Ten Punch Count Along stopped at seven by a
Jindrak shot to the back - apparently, his version of the Argentine
backbreaker is called the "MJ Delight." That'll get 2 - springboard
guillotine breaks it up. Into the ropes, Mysterio holds on, then ducks the
lunge, putting Jindrak outside. O'Haire put in the ropes, but he no-hands
upstairs, backflips over both of them, then hits a *mean* double
clothesline. I can't TELL you how much the Mark sucks on commentary.
Jindrak's springboard splash misses - Kidman dropkicks O'Haire out, then
hits the sitout powerbomb on Jindrak. Holding his legs apart for
Mysterio's top rope legdrop - that's his move, Tony! Kidman covers - 1, 2,
Jindrak has to KICK OUT because the outside interference was late to the
party - this is WCW! The BOOGIE KNIGHTS are out - Mysterio with a pescado
on Wright, but Disqo hits the Chartbuster on Jindrak. O'Haire puts
Jindrak's arm on top and alerts referee "Blind, yet Born to Do It" Scott
Armstrong to count the fall - 1, 2, 3. (5:59) Post-match, none of these
six guys seem to get along. So why'd the Knights interfere? Tony sums it
up best. "A personal score? A personal vendetta? Angry about last night?
We may never know the answer!" and they fade out to the ad break.
WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you in part by Castrol Motor Oily!
Schiavone's voice is breaking all over again!
Backstage, Sanders and Nash are chatting...Scott Steiner shows up and rages
away. He demands a title shot tonight. Sanders says "yessir" in order to
have his throat released. Nash tells Sanders to know when to pick his
battles. Like HE'S one to give advice?
WCW WORLD HARDCORE TITLE: KWEE-WEE (with Let Us Take You Back to Thunder)
v. RENO - Kwee-wee is wearing enough glitter to worry about a Goldfinger
death. On Thunder, Reno did a bad, bad thing to Reno. Kwee-wee tells Reno
not to make him angry, but he already made him angry, he wouldn't like him
when he's angry. He also says "Power Plant" ten or twenty times and disses
the Natural Born Ratings Killers. He sounds more like Angry Allan Funk
here...only he fails to stick out his tongue for a raspberry and give us
thumbs down. Reno is saying goodbye to Yokozuna in his own way, by
wearing one of his old outfits - it's really baggy on him, of course. Do
the Thrillers get new music EVERY week? Kwee-wee tosses a pink garbage
can, but Reno avoids it. Kwee-wee meets him out in the aisle with the
garbage can lid. Pink trashcan shot. Into the STEEL steps. Right hand,
into the rail. Lid to the head. Springing off the rail with a sunset flip
on the floor - 1, 2, no. Lid. Can. Going for a piledriver, but Reno
reverses with a back body drop. Reno going to work - stomp. Stomp.
Stomp. Head to the apron. Forearm across the back. "We want table"
chant. Dropped on the garbage can. Who's in the limo? What will they do
about the title match tonight? Reno tosses a garbage can of plunder in the
ring, then goes back to the aisle - garbage can across the back. Reno back
in - forearm across the back again. Lid. "How come you never axe me a
question, Scott?" Without missing a beat: "I don't care what you think!"
Catapulted into a garbage can set up in the corner. Reno tosses Kwee-wee
through the ropes. Got the kendo stick - across the back from the apron to
the floor. Whip into the rail...is reversed. Kendo stick from the
Kwee-wee. Run into a garbage can. Stomp. Into the safety rail. Garbage
can lid. Pink garbage can. Kendo stick. Maybe I could just type "spot.
spot. spot." instead. Up the aisle and to the Turnertron...ready to go
backstage...oh, but MARK JINDRAK & SEAN O'HAIRE & MIKE SANDERS & CHUCK
PALUMBO come out and the outside interference is on. Tilt-a-whirl
backbreaker by Jindrak off O'Haire's whip. Palumbo with a field goal kick
that sends him rolling down the ramp. Palumbo with another kick. Sanders
with a stomp. Jindrak & O'Haire with their "over the top rope from the
floor" double beal. Reno with the Roll of the Dice onto a trashcan lid.
1, 2, 3. Waste of all of our time. (5:18) All five men take a few extra
shots post-match. Again we go to break with the commentators seemingly
unaware...
WCW Mayhem ad spotlights Scott Steiner. "You cannot imagine what will
happpen until you see it." Since they've used that line, what, four or
five PPV's in a row, and each time it becomes less and less meaningful...I
think we can either conclude that they're just not paying attention, or
they really ARE frozen and coasting.
Promotionali consideration paid for by Slim Jim, America (ha!) Online,
Geico, Geico (2), and I'm spared another chocolate attack...this time.
GENE O. works tonight! And he welcomes to the ring new United States
Heavyweight champion GENERAL RECTION, who comes out alone. Strangely, he's
still got the Canada sticker on the belt. Rection says there's three guys
in the back and one big, beautiful blonde that belongs by his side when
they do this interview, so he brings out the rest of THE SECOND FAMILY.
Lucky us, we get to hear "Not Edwin K. Starr" *again!* Rection says we've
been waiting for it for three months...and DOES finally remove that Canada
decal. Rection says that this belt represents all the guys called "C-team
players." If he had to leave now, he'd leave with a smile on his face.
Okerlund gives him some verbal fellatio, then leads the crowd in rhythmic
clapping. Yikes, this is some empty arena. Then, AROUND TWO DOZEN FOLKS
come out from behind the curtain and stand on the stage, applauding,
including Norman Smiley, Jimmy Hart, Fit Finlay, Ed Ferrara, Bill
Banks, Mike Tenay, Arn Anderson...there's Booker T...and finally, there is
Goldberg, who has a mic. "Hugh Morrus...don't you ever think that anything
you've done for this company has been in vain, 'cause not only do I
appreciate you, and these boys appreciate you, but all these fans out there
and everybody at home appreciates everything you've ever done. And don't
forget this - Goldberg's streak had to start somewhere, my friend." Crowd
is ... quite understated. After an awkwardly long amount of dead air,
during which our commentators remind us that we're participating in a great
moment (because I know I'LL always remember where I was the night the boys
came out to applaud General Rection) finally Lance Storm appears on the
Turnertron behind them and tells them that Rection can enjoy his shallow
victory - he got the girl and he got the gold, but he didn't beat him last
night. If he'd put the title on the line again, he'll give him that shot.
Rection says he just happens to have a contract on him from the Executive
Committee - they'll HAVE that match...in four weeks at Mayhem. LISTEN TO
THAT CROWD! Well...*try* to, anyway. "You know what, Hugh? Hugh, hold
on...do everybody a favour - shut this punk's mouth up for good, willya?"
Listen to Goldberg steal the thunder - I mean, "give the rub." "It may be
four weeks from now, Lance Storm, but until then, you can kiss my red,
white and blue ass!" The wrestlers walk down the aisle to greet their
champion...and we take a break.
During the Break, they had group hugs.
That limo is STILL there. And, by God, we're not gonna see anybody get out
of it for AT LEAST another 24 minutes!
DAVID FLAIR is out with, presumably, some DNA test results. "I guess all
you people here, and at home, wanna know the results of the DNA testing -
am I right? Let's all find out what a piece of trash that Buff Bagwell is.
'After extensive DNA testing, our lab has confirmed that there's a 99.9%
chance that Marcus Buff Bagwell...is NOT the father of the baby? Who is
it? WHO IS IT?!" Here comes... M.I. SMOOTH. "David Flair! Smooooth's
gotta bone to pick witchoo! You see, I told you when I sold you that
videotape, you'd find something interesting on it - huh. What you found
interesting was Buff on the tape. See, I never told you that Buff was the
father - if you'da had your theories runnin' first, ha haaa - ho ho - you
wouldn't be goin' through this now. But see, since Buff is hot at Smooth,
Smooooooth is hot at you, and Smooth's gonna show you, baby, who yo daddy
is. So Smoooooooooth's got something for you!"
DAVID FLAIR v. M.I. SMOOTH. - "You know what, Smooth? I don't feel like
wrestling you tonight." As he goes to leave, Smooth gives him a big elbow
in the back and it's...sorta... on. This is awfully close to silence from
the crowd. Hey, you know the NBA airs Wednesdays and Thursdays on TNT.
(Smooth full nelson atomic drop -> pin 1:45)
Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim (2), Nitro: the
trading card game, Mag-Lite (Ontario is close to Irvine!), and America (2!)
Online
Graphic sez: "The following is a paid announcement from the Mouth of the
South, Jimmy Hart."
Hart issues an open challenge to any radio disk jockey who wishes to
wrestle on Monday nights. Hey, you know what'll turn WCW around? JIMMY
HART WRESTLING DISC JOCKEYS!
The BOOGIE KNIGHTS are out. "Can I have your attention please? I'm not
exactly sure WHY we're out here...but we got the word from Commissioner
Sanders that he's got something very special planned for us. I don't know,
maybe he's gonna congratulate us on saving Jindrak & O'Haire the world tag
team titles earlier tonight? I guess there's no hard feelings for us
almost beating them at Havoc, huh? Or maybe he's gonna come out here and
congratulate me on having exceptional abdominal development. I HOPE he
doesn't expect us to come out here and tell everybody who let the dogs out.
Could somebody PLEASE tell us why the hell we're out here?" COLD "14-0"
BEER comes out - no real entrance (ONLY 0:32), no pyro - and tosses both
men over the top rope to the floor. "You know..." Disqo holds Wright back.
"Get the hell out of here, boys. It's my time. You know..." LONG pause.
"You know up until a short time ago, I didn't really understand who
Goldberg was. But, as in life, adversity introduces a man to himself.
Well, today as I stand here, I sure as hell know who Goldberg is, and after
last night, Kronik, you do too. Well, as far as the record's concerned,
heheh, that's just a damn number. I set that record...and I'm gonna break
it! What does that mean to all you boys in the back? Very simple. You're
all NEXT."
A door is labelled "C.E.O." - we look at the ground as the door
opens...and...somebody...is.....WALKING! Hey, cameraman, why not LOOK UP
AT THE HEAD! LOOK UP...LOOK...ah, hell, let's sit through this ad break
and find out.
MIKE SANDERS comes out - is he the CEO? "Now last night at Halloween
Havoc, you know I floated like a butterfly, I stung like a bee, when I hit
the Cat, he felt the 1, 2, 3. Now before I go accepting my new role as
commissioner, and still the WCW Cruiserweight champ, I need to take care of
an order of business..." the commentators start talking over him at this
point, so why bother? Sanders says that we all know who got their ass beat
in the world title match last night, so tonight he's going to make the
title match a three-way dance - Booker T vs. Mike Awesome vs. Scott
Steiner. "There's been rumours in the back about a new CEO - some new big
hotshot in the company. Well lemme tell you something, the only thing he's
gonna be runnin' - he's gonna be runnin' to get me coffee. He's gonna be
running to get me my reports, and then he's gonna run his ass right out of
WCW. Now I guarantee this new hotshot never stepped foot in the ring, and
believe you, I know myself ar- I know my way around this ring. And I
guarantee you, this new CEO...he's gonna drop outta WCW faster than Shawn
Stasiak at a spellin' bee." But some familiar music plays...THE MAN is
back. Fortunately, he's not breaking that restraining order! Of course,
this is California, so the crowd isn't much louder...sigh. "Mike...my name
is Ric Flair. I used to be a big star in this business; now I'm retired.
But as of last Friday, in Atlanta, Georgia, they made the big decision to
make me the CEO of the company. And I wanna tell ya that I've been sittin'
home, and I've been watchin' you and I've been enjoying you. You're a good
hand - you got the gift of gab, you're a pretty fair hand in the ring. But
you've been running wild. You've been breaking every rule there is to
break, and as of tonight, commissioner or no commissioner, you got a man
named Ric Flair telling you what to do every step of the way." "Wait a
minute, wait a minute, Ric, you know I call it right down the middle, I do
what's right. I do the right thing." "Mike, I just walked up to Kevin
Nash back there, I said 'Kevin, how old would Mike Sanders be?' He said
'28 years age, 28 years of age.' You realise the first time I wrestled for
the world title in a ring like this, you were ten years old, boy. So don't
tell your story to me, brother, tell your story walkin'. You and your
friends are gon' start wrestling by the rules, or you're not gon' wrestle.
Because back of that curtain is the greatest array of talent in the history
of sports, we're gon' start makin' 'em work right here in WCW,
startin' with you, Commissioner, startin' with you. New set of rules.
Woooo! Yes? There's something you wanna say to me?" "I don't have
anything to say, Ric." "Well then you better leave. ... But Mike,
Mike...before you leave...I happened to watch that match last night between
you and the Cat - it was a great match, you're a great athlete! You got
all the tools! But you won that match by breaking the rules, so tonight,
because you are a great athlete, and you wanna go to the top as fast as you
can, you're gonna wrestle the Cat right here again, one more time, wooo,
for California and the world." "What did you say?" "I said Commissioner
Sanders, you're gonna wrestle the Cat tonight, one more time, and there
will be no outside interference - it's between you and the Cat." Sanders
walks off muttering. "I'm not out here to be the Nature Boy anymore - I'm
here because WCW is the greatest wrestling company in the world. We got
the biggest names, the biggest stars, we also have some problems. We're
going to work on those problems right now. But it's a new day in WCW, I'm
retired, I'm not wrestling, but I'm here to help make this company Number
One again. Woooo! And on a personal note, one of the biggest stars in
this business came to me, when he heard I was gonna get this job - his name
is Lex Luger. And I asked Lex Luger, the Total Pacakge, and that's what he
is, kids, the Total Package - to do me a favour last night. I asked him to
watch out for my son, David. He did just that - but he went over and
above. And Bagwell, I'm sorry about that, I owe you an apology. But
Luger, as the CEO I want you to know I'm gonna keep my word. My word is
good, and starting today, this company is gonna be run like a business -
right or wrong - wooo!" The next man out is JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET.
And his mic doesn't work. "I can't hear you!" Off camera, they pass
Jarrett a new mic. "This is the kinda show you're running, you don't even
let my mic, get my mic turned on, huh Flair - are you kidding me? This has
got to be the biggest joke that I've ever seen. Ric Flair, the Nature Boy,
the new CEO of WCW." "That sounds good, doesn't it?" "Don't you ever go
away? I thought your slapass retired." "I am retired!" "I guess it's
true - if and when civilisation ends, only cockroaches and Ric Flair will
roam the earth. Just who in the hell do you think you are? You may be a
legend, but you're not, and you never will be the Chosen One." "The only
time you're the Chosen One is when you're with a roomful of girls, pal!
And the bottom line is this, whether I'm a legend or not a legend, whether
I'm Ric Flair, dead or alive, whether I'm retired or not, I'm the boss, I'm
YOUR CEO, and you my friend - wooo - can do nothin' about it." "Oho, wait
wait a minute, Flair. Things have changed around here. Things are the
same, they ain't gonne be like they used to be back in Flair's dinosaur
days. Last night at Halloween Havoc, I took care of one legend. Flair,
you get in my way, the Chosen One's gonna make it two for two." "I'm
retired - I'm not here to wrestle - I've already told the world, you're a
great wrestler, Jeff! But I'm the boss! That's the difference! Woooo!
You're a great wrestler, I'm a retired CEO! Woooo! I'm retired - but I'm
the boss! You're a great wrestler! Two-time world champion! You're the
man!" I thought Jarrett was a four-time champ. Oh, who cares. Not THIS
crowd, apparently. I've never heard Flair get such a restrained reaction.
When *Ric FREAKIN' Flair* can't get you up, is there any point in
continuing? Remember when Flair was the president and he went CRAZY?
As if to provide answer, here's a Thunder ad. Hey, look, Bret Hart!
Buff Bagwell stole that WCW MasterCard from Lee M. Cardholder!
THE NARCISSIST is out. "The moment of truth - the crossing roads in WCW
has finally arrived. The true superstars of our sport are ready to regain
centre stage, as it has been, as it always should be. So what Ric Flair
meant to say was, the deal the new CEO of WCW did, was he promised me if I
looked after his boy, that the Total Package, all six-foot-four (removes
shirt), 280 pounds and 5% body fat is, as of now, reinstated fully in WCW.
Multi-time World champion, multi-time US Champion, multi-time world tag
team champion, and a multi-millionaire - that's me, the Total Package, the
one and only! Now, Buff Bagwell, what happened to you last night was
simply a business transaction between myself and someone else - you were at
the wrong place at the wrong time. No hard feelings, that's just the way
it is. This is a ruthless sport and a ruthless business. I made a
statement on Buff Bagwell last night, and I'm here to make a statement
tonight that's gonna rock the foundation of World Championship Wrestling.
'cause I see all these nobodys and wanna-be's in the back, cowering and
sniveling about who's gonna be next with Bill Goldberg - well, Bill, you
don't have to worry about who's next, 'cause my next statement's gonna be
you and it's gonna be me - I'M next!" BUFF DADDY BAGWELL comes out at this
point. "You know what? I really like your big plans, big man Lex Luger.
But you know what? You seem to have overlooked somebody, and you've
overlooked Buff Bagwell, so if you wanted to have a problem with me, you
may wanna look past - not look past me and look to Goldberg, 'cause right
here, I'll kick your ass in Irvine, California right now." Geez, what did
he say? "Well you know there, Buff - if you're feeling all that bad and
frisky tonight, I'm sure I can make some arrangements, because if you want
to take on the Total Package, I got my wrestling gear in the back and later
on tonight, we can go ahead and have a match, I'm sure we can get that
sanctioned - how 'bout that? Huh?" "You know what?" "Huh? How about
it?" "I have the craziest idea - that's exactly what you were gonna say,
so to all these great fans, I just happened to bring a referee right here
with me - we can do this right damn now! How 'bout that?"
THE NARCISSIST v. BUFF DADDY BAGWELL - Bagwell hits the ring, ducks a big
clothesline, right, right, head to the buckle, head to the opposite buckle,
off the ropes with the swinging neckbreaker, pinwheel, ducks a big punch,
gutshot, double underhook DDT, NBA on Wednesdays & Thursdays, Luger pulls
referee "Blind" Mark Johnson in the path of the Buff Blockbuster. Luger
with a big clothesline. Outside we go. Big head to the rail. Big chair
in the gut. Big chairshot to the back. Slid back in under the
bottom rope, and motioning for the Rack. Big Torture Rack! Johnson calls
for the bell - Bagwell actually JOBS? Alert the media! (1:43)
"Goldberg...YOU'RE next!" Castrol Motor Oily provides replays.
Mayhem ad #2
PAMELA PAULSHOCK stands with Kevin Nash and Perfect Event. Nash says this
team will now act as a well-oiled machine. Stasiak apologises and pledges
his team-player-ed-ness. Pats on the ass are exchanged. Did I just use
"well-oiled" and "pats on the ass" in the same paragraph? Did I juse use
"well-oiled" and "pats on the ass" in the same sentence? Did I just do it
again? Yes, yes, and yes.
KRONI>| v. PERFECT EVENT (with Koach Kevin Nash) - Nash stops to make love
to a Scott Hall cutout in the crowd. Maybe he'll get all SHOOTY on the
headset! Stasiak and Adams start. Lockup, no, Stasiak ducks, gutshot,
right, right in the corner, head to the buckle, right, right, into the
opposite corner is reversed, big clothesline by Adams. Right. Into the
ropes, duck, blind tag, gutshot, set up for a powerbomb - Palumbo with a
Jungle Kick. Adams ducks a running knee, but Stasiak stomps on him. Into
the ropes, Palumbo drops down, Stasiak hits a back elbow. Palumbo right,
right, just because the crowd chants "We want Scott Hall" doesn't mean they
want Kevin Nash...think about it. Adams to the eyes. Tag to Clark - kick
to the gut, to the corner, kick, kick, knife-edge chop, chop, kick, stomp,
stomp, stomp, mute, into the ropes, Stasiak grabs the ankle, mute, dropkick
by Palumbo. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, Adams breaks it up. Shot for Stasiak by
Adams. Adams to the gut. Commentators say "WHOA!" but we didn't see
whatever Clark did from the apron to the floor. Gutshot by Adams, snapmare
takeover, stomp on the face. Clark chops Stasiak, into the safety rail.
Adams with a...who knows. Apparently we missed a really cool moonsault.
Clark with a chop, kick, kick, we stare at Nash and Stasiak instead of
inside the ring. Nash asks him to walk it off...so he walks it off all the
way back up the aisle. That hothead Stasiak. Palumbo got a cover for 1, I
guess. Adams with a clothesline...I think. We stare at Nash. Palumbo
manages a headscissors on Adams, springboard dropkick on Clark on the
apron, Adams with a full nelson atomic drop. Doubleteam - into the ropes,
double shoulderblock by Kronik. High Time. Crowd is so quiet you can hear
them count to 3 before the High Time. 1, 2, 3 for Clark. (4:16) Judging
from last night, I guess Kronik only do the job in the main event. Why is
Palumbo smiling so broadly?
Close captioning sponsored by Wizards of the Coast - makers of the WCW
Nitro trading card game!
Backstage, the trainers tell Nash Palumbo is okay. Nash asks where
Stasiak is at, and he and the Thrillers take off after him. Nash has a bat
with him now. Bill Banks (still has a job?) stooges Stasiak to the crowd.
Walking (WALKING!) the other way is Mike Sanders. He gets muted.
Paulshock stands with Booker T. Scott Steiner bullied his way into the
match tonight, while Mike Awesome earned his shot fair and square. Steiner
tried to take him out last night, but he's still here. Awesome wants
Steiner just as badly as he does. Don't hate the Playa.
"ABOVE AVERAGE" MIKE SANDERS v. CAT - Cat gives The Mark that which he
craves the most - attention. Sanders says let's not be hasty, past is in
the past, let's let bygones be bygones. Cat tells the stupid son of a
bitch that he came out here to kick his ass, and he proceeds to do so. The
NBA airs on TNT Wednesday & Thursday! Gosh, we're lucky they don't tell us
how many days there are until Mayhem while they're at it. Out of respect
for all the people who paid to see this match last night, I'll forego three
minutes of play-by-play and summarise with "it's all Cat until Sanders
manages a sleeper, but the arm doesn't fall three times, so Cat goes back
to work, including all his goofy breakdancing moves, culminating in a
Feliner for the pin (2:57)." Well, ALMOST three minutes. Thing is, this
match was BETTER than the "kickboxing" thing they tried to put on LAST
night. Okay...three two minute rounds, they said. So they had three two
minute rounds...and no decision! So they just WINGED it! Yeah!
Ohhhh....my. Anyway, post-match, the Franchise appears on the Turnertron
and tells Cat that he's opened some can of worms, yeah, and he's got Ms.
Jones - she slaps him, he hits a backbreaker on her. Cat runs off.
Here's a look at the MasterCard "Play with Power" sweepstakes winner, his
wife, and their two friends - they won free tix to Halloween Havoc! You
know what second place was...TWICE as many free tix to Halloween Havoc!
Man, I NEVER get tired of that joke.
WCW Magazine ad #2 - I let ad #1 go by without remembering to note it here,
but I'm TOO LAZY to go back and find it.
It took Cat the whole ad break to find Ms. Jones. While the trainer tends
to her, Cat addresses the camera as if it were Franchise. He'll be sorry!
Paulshock stands with Mike Awesome, who doesn't mind seeing Scott Steiner
tonight - since there's two of him and Booker T, and only one of him.
WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: WHITE THUNDER (with Midajah) v. AD BREAK -
"Booker T - when I look at you, I see a man who obviously has no pride, no
dignity...when I look at you, I see a beaten man that has no shame still
carryin' around that world title, because I proved to you and the whole
world, because I not only beat you up, I punked your ass out! So Booker T,
you always say don't hate the player but at Halloween Havoc I proved that I
got way too much hate in this body for you to control and for you to
handle, because once again I put you in the Steiner Recliner and you
screamed like a bitch! So Booker T, you look at me, the man with the
largest arms in the world, I don't need a world title to legitimize me!
You look at me, the genetic freak, and I don't need a world title to proves
that I'm the real deal. No, what proves that I'm the real deal and
legitimizes me is me kickin' your ass every night, and tonight it can be
deja vu all over again. And I'm gonna kick you right here in California,
and prove there's no substitutes for size, and there's only one genetic
freak."
WHITE THUNDER v. BOOKA T. v. THAT 70'S MULLET for the WCW World
Heavyweight Championship in a three-way dance - T flinches towards Midajah,
which almost sends Steiner out early. Nonetheless, Steiner pounds on T as
he parts the ropes and we start with two in the ring. Steiner stomps a
lot. Right. Kick, stomp, lotsa stomps, words for referee "Blind" Charles
Robinson. Into the ropes, duck, right by T, right, right, right, into the
ropes, kick ducked, but not that Harlem sidekick. Elbow by T - into the
ropes, clothesline. Not a cover - he mounts him for a Ten Punch Count
Along. Uhhhhhhhh! Gutshot, into the ropes, Steiner pounds him in the
back. Double underhook...into a slam. In the corner, kick, kick, right,
right, right, mute, chop, forearm, chop, forearm, sat on the top
turnbuckle, right, Awesome's music starts and he's FINALLY out - electric
chair on Steiner, preventing the super blockbuster suplex. T with a
missile dropkick to Steiner. Awesome with a clothesline that takes Steiner
outside. Awesome with a right for T (!), right, into the ropes, T ducks,
Awesome with a flying shouldertackle for 2. Into the ropes, reversed,
gutshot by T, right, into the ropes, reversed, holding on, T with a
spinebuster, rolling through for 2, Steiner saves, covers T for 2, kicked
out onto Awesome for 2. Tossing Awesome out. Got T - belly-to-belly
suplex...but only 2! Threatening move for Robinson. In the corner, kick,
into the ropes, Steinerline, kiss the bicep elbowdrop, no cover - pushup.
Awesome on top - flying clothesline for Steiner! Right, into the opposite
corner, running clothesline, stomp, stomp, "that's it," climbing up top -
FROG SPLASH...but Steiner kicks out at 2! "That's it!" Umm, you just SAID
that. But instead of the Awesomebomb, Booker T is up and over and pasting
Awesome with a Harlem sidekick! Axe kick for Steiner! T breakdances
up...but Awesome clotheslines him down. Steiner with a blockbuster suplex
on Awesome. Stomping on T, stomp, stomp on Awesome, Steiner outside for T,
scoop...and slam onto the commentary table! Steiner on the table,
attempting to break it with a double stomp, but golly, that's a hard table.
Double sledge onto the floor, stomp, Awesome over with a WHACK chair for
Steiner. Steiner shoved back-first into the apron, into the rail, into the
apron, into the ring. Awesome through the ropes, elbowdrop. 1, 2, Steiner
kicks out. Booker T crawling back in as Awesome pounds Steiner down.
Right hand. Steiner with a kick to the groin, and an uppernut to punctuate
it. T over with a heel kick. Forearm, forearm, Steiner kicks HIS nuts.
Steiner puts Awesome on the top turnbuckle - SUPER STEINER DROP! 1, 2, T
breaks it up with a double sledge. Harlem sidekick for Steiner. Cover -
Steiner kicks out at 2. Awesome clotheslines Steiner...and then T.
Awesome has Steiner - no, Steiner has *him* with an atomic drop. Another
blockbuster suplex. Steiner proclaims it over, and puts Awesome in the
Steiner Recliner...but Booker T kicks him to break it up - another kick
takes Steiner outside. Book End for Awesome - cover - 1, 2, 3! (8:09)
Steiner threatens to come back in - T dares him - SECURITY is out, but
Steiner goes through all of them. DOUG DILLINJA and the rest of the refs
convince Steiner that tonight isn't the night for that. Play his music!
Booker and Awesome shake hands in the ring. Lookit that Security guy grin
like a goof. "Cut my music! You know, for the last coupla nights, Booker
T has been gettin' the hell beat out of him, but from this point on, Scott
Steiner, if you wanna take it to the street, you wanna take it to the back,
it really don't make no difference, 'cause I'm gonna give these people what
they wanna see. So I'll tell you what, Steiner - if you man enough, get
your ass out here right now, and we can finish." No response. "Well I'll
tell you what - I see you don't want no more tonight, Steiner. But I'll
tell you what - here in the near future, me and you gonna meet up...and
brother when it's all over with, I just wanna let you know one thing -
don't hate the playa, hate the game!" Here he comes! Oh no, the credits
are up and we're gone - never mind!
You're watching BULL!
Christopher Robin Zimmermanwww.CRZ.net