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7 types of people you will see at the CFA exams

The Dude Bro: Wears a backwards baseball cap, a polo, and plaid shorts; essentially looks like a walking Abercrombie ad. Brings the bare minimum exam tools. Maybe an eraser if he’s feeling a little less confident. Seems to know every other Dude Bro candidate, probably from drunken times at various keggers. Will take any break opportunities to socialize with their frat friends.

The Hopeful Single Girl: Showed up on exam day partially to take advantage of the high male to female ratio. Wears bright-coloured form-fitting top, super tight yoga pants, and a face full of makeup. Travels alone to increase chances of guys approaching her. Spends 10 minutes in the washroom touching up her mascara, prior to catwalking back to her seat.

The Banking Veteran: Older gentleman, fully suited up with a tie. Studied a total of 4hrs, banking on his 30yrs of professional experience to propel him to a passing score. Erroneously thought exam day is another networking opportunity. Gives disgusted looks to the hordes of younger, just-out-of-school candidates running around in sweatpants and flip-flops, blaming these whippersnappers for the ruin of the glory days of banking.

The Nervous Wreck: Spends every minute of lunch break trying to re-hash his notes or memorize another footnote. Brought all 6 curriculum books in a giant backpack in the off chance he needs to refer to it. Refuses to acknowledge the existence of anyone speaking to him, in fear that an extra conversation will set him off his game. Has the most pristine study notes.

The Level I Newbie: Arrived an hour earlier than the reporting time. Allowed enough extra travel time to account for traffic, accidents, schedule changes, and being abducted by aliens. Brought every single writing instrument she could find in her house, in addition to a pencil sharpener, two extra calculators, calculator batteries, and screwdriver to change the battery.

The Lost Cause: Stumbled into the exam room just as the doors were closing. Forgot his calculator. Bloodshot eyes and darkened face from an all-nighter, in which he thought he could learn the entire curriculum. Finishes the AM portion in an hour and sits there for another 15 minutes wondering what to do, observing everyone else furiously writing. Says “fuck it”, doesn’t go back to check his answers, hands in the morning exam, and slogs back home to bed.

The Fob Mob: Group of 4-6 Asians, who arrive to the exam together, take lunch break together, and leave the venue together. Females all wearing some cream-coloured frilly dress appropriate for strawberry-picking. Males all wearing black, rectangular, thick-rimmed glasses and sporting anime hair. Converses in loud Mandarin, opening discussing how they answered every single exam question and posting to some BBS via cellphone, despite knowing it is a violation of the CFA Professional Standards.