goodbye 2014, hello 2015

2015 is just a few short hours away as I write this, and despite feeling this way almost every year, I am always left feeling surprised at how fast time goes by. Now, I am an incredibly sentimental and sappy type of person, so the act of making lists, goals, resolutions, all of that jazz, makes me feel very excited and I am 100% on board the New Year’s Resolution train. However, I am not one to make unrealistic goals for myself that I know I won’t follow through with. Such as jogging every day.. I’m good on that I think. Despite my disdain for running, I would very much like to incorporate more physical activity in to my life in general. But I’m more interested in exercising when it’s actually fun for me, such as hiking, yoga, playing DDR.. y’know.

Most years I do make lists for myself with very specific goals such as “write one blog post per week” (failed on that one this year, sorry past-self), but this year I’ve decided to focus less on numbering the amount of “productive things” I do in 2015, and more on simply getting in touch with who I am and bettering myself as a whole. While that may sound terribly cliché, I do genuinely mean it. Besides, I’m a pretty corny individual anyway ;).

This past year of life gave me many amazing experiences, as well as a lot of challenging ones. After unexpectedly breaking my leg pretty badly in late September, it caused me to really take a look at my life. Mostly because I was left with nothing else to do; I was immobile, unable to do much of anything. If given the option, I would certainly have chosen not to break my leg, but after some serious reflection over the past 3 months, I realized that it may have been just what I needed. I am a strong believer in “signs” from the universe, communicating with the universe, and paying attention to the little details in what life throws at you. And I believe that breaking my leg was the universe telling me that I needed to stop, slow down, reflect on myself, and what I really want from life. Sure, it may have been a coincidence, bad timing, poor choices.. But there were a lot of signs leading up to that day that I later realized I ignored, which caused me to walk in to the scenario where I got hurt. I won’t go into detail, but there was something trying to tell me not to go to the cemetery that day, but I ignored it. My “gut feelings” have never once been wrong. I’ve always been a very intuitive person, I often joke with people that I’m a bit psychic, but I mostly joke about it so they don’t think I’m crazy ;). Point being, breaking my leg forced me to stop (physically and mentally), review my life, and think about where I want to go next. And I have done a lot of that.
2015 is going to be a year for big changes, and adventures. This is something that I have felt building for a very long time now. And despite being absolutely terrified, I couldn’t be more excited.

2015 Ambitions:

- Travel as much as possible. Self explanatory, but traveling is number one for me right now. I want to see the entire world.

- Say “yes” more, but also know when to say “no”. This one sounds a bit contradictory, but essentially what I mean is that I’d like to be more open to life. I often find myself shying away from experiences that would potentially be a lot of fun, because I feel nervous, anti-social, or just generally lacking the motivation to participate. So I would like to focus more on saying “yes” to new experiences, because often times the best things in life are the moments we least expected. And with that, I would also really like to practice saying “no” more, when the situation goes against who I am. For example, saying “no” to getting in the car with a driver who is slightly intoxicated (I don’t do this anymore, but have in the past). Saying “no” to working for free when I get nothing out of it (ie: photoshoots that won’t build my portfolio). And so forth. I am very much a person who is “too nice” in certain situations, and I want to be more assertive, to not be afraid to express what I want.

- Leave my comfort zone. I certainly don’t expect myself to master this ability in a year’s time, this is something that most people spend their whole lives continually working at. However I have been in a safe little bubble of comfort for many years now, and I know that in order to grow, I must work on breaking out of it. Being comfortable is a beautiful thing. We all strive to find stability, comfort, safety.. Yet too much of it can almost be counter-productive in truly getting in touch with who we are. With struggle and discomfort comes growth, and even though I wish I could just fast forward through the uncomfortable bits of life and gain the growth, I know it doesn’t work that way.

- Focus on right now. One of my favorite people on the planet, Jim Carrey, recently tweeted the following:

Living in the “now” is a concept that most people struggle with. It’s a topic that is much too deep for me to delve into right now, but something that I’ve been fascinated with for very a long time. I’ve never been much for living in the past, I take things as they come and tend to handle trials and tribulations that life throws at me pretty well. However I’m definitely guilty of living a bit too much in the future, always imagining how great my life will be when this or that happens, wondering what my future holds, constantly dreaming. I don’t think it’s a bad quality to be a dreamer, not at all. I think everyone should dream more, dream bigger. But I do know that personally, I have a tendency to not take notice of all of the great things happening right now because I am too busy picturing what’s going to happen next. So as Jim Carrey so eloquently and simply put it: I’d like to allow myself the freedom from the illusion of time, and to just “be”. When we allow ourselves to simply exist as we are right now, this is when we are able to experience true happiness.

I sincerely appreciate if you took the time to read this entire post. I know that it was probably a bit rambly, but sometimes I just need to put down what is in my head and not focus so much on perfection.

Happy New Year everyone! Be sure to fill the pages of this next chapter in your lives with moments that you’ll be happy to look back on.
Okay, I think I’ve got all of my sappiness out for tonight ;D.

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Savannah, my goodness. Your outlook about the horrible incident with your leg is so inspiring. I know I have told you this before but you have such a refreshing, uplifting view to your life and it is very infectious! (the best possible kind of infectious)! I am so in awe of you, and so happy you are feeling passionate about the year ahead! I am going to print out the last paragraph because I so want to be in the “now” more too.