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“if no one has married him or had kids with him in two years then I will”

“yes but your not joking Jo*”

a long quiet think. You know what. that’s kind of right. and looking back the whole two and a bit years that I have been here, he has been the most stable thing. the thing that makes me smile. he is referred to as my John*. We have in jokes.

I’m divorced. I have two wonderful children. I have a wonderful home. And there is this amazing, old fashioned gentleman right under my nose. how have I never seen it before?

I take a massive leap of faith. My friends egg me on about telling him I would like to see him a bit more.

I do it. I tell him. and he feels the same way. we talk. we meet for coffee. he comes over. I’ve known this man for two years. he’s seen me heavily pregnant. he’s seen my children. he’s seen me cry. he makes my children smile. he makes me smile.

we start to have an amazing thing going on.

he admits hes been in love with me a long time and I tell him I love him.

its been 9 months now since I took that leap of faith. here he is, living with me, providing for the children that bare no resemblance of him. Being a gentleman. making sure that me and the children are taken care of.

but there’s something so strange. something I cant put my finger on.

I don’t know why, but I genuinely feel like this will be me until I die.