DREAMBOAT AND GISELE GETTING HITCHED?

Also, if you choose to believe it, Life & Style maggie is reporting that Tom and his Brazilian bombshell are getting ready to tie the knot! A purported “insider” tells the magazine that the wedding will be an intimate affair in Rome with only family and close friends on the guest list.

Wow. That's from The Boston Herald's "The Track," and having The Track be skeptical about your rumor is like Pacman Jones thinking your off-field behavior is immature. Or if you're gay, it's like Cher thinking your Oscar gown is too gaudy.

Ah, Cher. Who didn't love her in Mask? That's a movie released in 1985, for any of my sexy readers who aren't cinephile fuckfaces. I don't recommend it, because it's the kind of movie that tries to tell you it's okay to be ugly.

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For my money, Mask was the best Eric Stoltz has ever looked. So not a good looking man. But, a 1985 Sam Elliot? Rawr.

As for the Dreamboat…blah, blah, wedding, blah, blah, hot women… I’m just hoping & wishing that he and Randy come to blows on the sideline sometime in December.

By: Jack

05.14.2007 @ 1:25 PM

“he and Randy come to blows”

I didn’t read that right

By: Red

05.14.2007 @ 1:31 PM

What? Eric Stoltz – not good looking?! I’ve had a crush on him ever since Some Kind of Wonderful. (For all the guys out there, that’s another movie that was never meant to be seen by you.)

By: whowillsexmutombo

05.14.2007 @ 1:36 PM

Why are we talking about Eric Stoltz?

For the record, I liked him in “Kicking & Screaming” (The Noah Baumbach flick, not the Soccer movie, for you youngsters.)

By: Lloyd_Carr_Pool_Lane

05.14.2007 @ 1:42 PM

Hey Red, for what it’s worth, Mary Stuart Masterson was WAY hotter than Lea Thompson in that movie…and, she played drums….

By: Hail

05.14.2007 @ 1:44 PM

For my money, give me M.A.S.K. – the toys that used to turn from a helicopter to a car or a boat etc. Ahh, youth.

By: Lloyd_Carr_Pool_Lane

05.14.2007 @ 1:45 PM

Mutombo, you didn’t like the fine acting performace of Ditka??

By: Andrew

05.14.2007 @ 1:51 PM

Brady realizes that this isn’t going to make his bastard kid legitimate, right?

By: Ryan

05.14.2007 @ 2:02 PM

Kicking & Screaming is one of the few recommendations from Bill Simmons that was actually good for something. And Lea Thompson in the 80s can never, ever be topped. Not even by the cute Mary Stuart Masterson.

By: Tim

05.14.2007 @ 2:04 PM

“All I have is you, and my drumstsicks”

By: Otto Man

05.14.2007 @ 2:22 PM

“And Lea Thompson in the 80s can never, ever be topped.”

She can be mounted, right? Please?

By: Careless

05.14.2007 @ 3:00 PM

That was Eric Stoltz in Mask??? I always thought it was Drew Barrymore.

By: Thomas

05.14.2007 @ 3:37 PM

You know, it is possible to be sexy and a cinephile fuckface. That’s why I’d like to have my name altered to Sexy Cinephile Fuckface. ‘Cause it rocks.

By: Lloyd_Carr_Pool_Lane

05.14.2007 @ 3:58 PM

Lea Thompson WAS paticularily hot in Howard the Duck, because she pointed that ass right at the camera….

By: whowillsexmutombo

05.14.2007 @ 4:19 PM

I actually didn’t mind the soccer / will ferre “Kicking and screaming”, if for no other reason than Robert Duvall yelling “I take a vitamin ever day. It’s called a steak.”

By: mikeski

05.14.2007 @ 4:35 PM

The Track: “Hello, Eric Stoltz…we thought you’d like to know that Dreamboat and Gisele might be gettin’ hitched.”

Stoltz: “She ain’t my fuckin’ problem, Dreamboat fucked her up, he deals with it — are you talkin’ to me on a cellular phone?