Author has written 14 stories for Alex Rider, Harry Potter, Code Geass, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, 07-Ghost, Pokémon, Dark is Rising Sequence, xxxHOLiC, How to Train Your Dragon, Young Justice, Batman, Book X-overs, and Rise of the Guardians.

Hiyas! I was previously meselfi, but have now changed my name to MarchHare95, obviously after an Alice in Wonderland character. If you do not know who this is, I recommend you re-read the book. However, I am a fickle human being so I changed the name again. Sorry.

Disclaimer: I own none of the above, not Harry Potter, not Code Geass, not Alex Rider. Understand? Anyway, even if I did you wouldn't be able to prove anything!

Warning everyone! I am human and so at times can be a lazy slob, if you feel that I am neglecting any of my stories, do not be afraid to say so. this nudge will be much appreciated!

Hello all, thanks to those of you who have actually taken the time to read any of my stories and actually reviewed them. I am sorry to say that I will be going on a temporary hiatus, don't worry, all unfinished fics will be completed. Just to justify this, I will be telling you my reasoning if you care to read. Its just that I have found myself to be sliding behind in my schoolwork, and well, I need to catch up with the rest of my classmates. This hiatus will probably end when school does and start again when school starts. So sorry, I really am.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Alex Rider, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15, livelaughlove23, emmettsmyfave, Chellie09, BloodWhiteWolf, Shadow Kissed134, RedRozaLove, SCORPIAssassin, CHiKa-RoXy, MarchHare95!!!

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son, John

P.S. - Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

--One day, Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"--"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."--In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.--"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.--"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.--"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.--"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.--The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"--Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "If you stick that goddamned thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"--"Amen," replied the congregation

Asian Complaints

1. We do not comprehend the words “ching chong”.

2. WHATTHEHELL does “ching chong” even mean?!

3. Not all Koreans make nuclear bombs or eat dogs.

4. Just cause you see an Asian person it doesn’t mean they’re Chinese, they could be Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Indonesian, Filipino etc.

5. We are not all COMMUNISTS.

6. We don’t always eat egg rolls and when we do it’s like once in a blue moon.

7. Asian girls with long black hair HATE being called The Grudge or the girl from The Ring. Same goes for Asian guys and being called Grudge boy.

9. Dynasty Express and China King are not considered “real” Chinese food.

10. We don’t use THAT much M-S-G.

11. Don’t ask us to speak our language, we will when we feel like it.

12. We don’t know how to translate your name so stop asking cause most likely we can’t.

13. Don’t ask us to teach you curse words either.

14. Stop trying to pair up Asian guys and girls at your school and say they look cute together. Not all Asians belong together.

15. All Asian countries speak different languages.

16. Just because we’re Asian it doesn’t mean that we know karate, kung fu, tae kwon do etc. Even though we are probably capable of kicking your butt anyway.

17. Don’t say all Asian people look the same, that’s like saying all white people look the same, all African Americans look the same and all Hispanics look the same. When will you realize your stupidity?

18. Surprise! Not all Asians are good at maths.

19. Not all Asians are short.

20. Or skinny.

21. By the way, it’s VietNAMese, not VietMANese.

22. Not all Asian families run a nail shop although some of them do.

23. Same goes for convenient stores and laundromats.

24. What do you people stare at? Haven’t you seen an Asian person before?

25. Just to let you know, it’s NOT funny when you tape your eyes up and start speaking gibberish. That just gives us another reason to kick your butt.

26. Go ahead, make fun of us. We’ll just make fun of you in our own language.

27. It’s ok for us to call each other F.O.B’s but if you call us one you’re asking for a beating.

28. Yeah we eat rice, so what? Got rice?

29. Don’t fold your hands and bow at us like you know what you’re doing cause honestly you look like an idiot.

30. Don’t ask if the Chinese use cat in their food, if they did they would label it “cat lo mein” instead of beef lo mein. They don’t use cat if you didn’t already guess that by now.

31. No…Yao Ming is not my uncle.

32. People from India are Asians too.

33. People from the Middle East are just as Asian as people from the southeast-(CloudNineArigance)

Everything I Learned In Life, I Learned From CLAMP

1. If you're not angsty, you should be.2. There is no such thing as coincidence.3. Evil takes the form of four Japanese mangaka.4. Everything's better in alternate universes.5. If you're precious to your brother, you're probably doomed.6. Actually, if you're precious to anyone, you're doomed.7. In fact, you're probably just doomed anyways.8. Treasure your eyes. You never know when they'll be taken away.9. Subtext really does equal buttsex.10. Everything has a price.11. The most powerful people are alcoholics.12. Never trust the bunny/pork bun.13. True love always prevails. Usually.14. Love comes in all forms.15. At least you’re not Subaru - Correction. At least you're not Fai.16. Nothing says love like agreeing to be somebody’s primary food source.17. If someone comments on your eyes being pretty, you will probably lose them several chapters later.18. Even if you and your beloved are a canon couple, by the end, you still won’t have kissed.19. Even in other series, you still will not kiss.20. If your grandparents are constantly on vacation, they most likely don’t exist.21. Never carry your most treasured item around with you.22. Everybody has an evil twin.23. Tokyo Tower is, more than likely, the source of all evil.24. If you’re good-looking, you’re doomed or angsty. Probably both.25. Don’t expect to live a happy life. You’ll only be disappointed.26. The more they smile, the harder they fall.27. Your fan base is directly proportional to how angsty you are.28. Everyone is pretty, even when bleeding or in agony.29. Torture and mind games are just another way of showing you care.30. Your boss is bad for you.31. The world is split into three genders: male, female and androgynous.32. Blood is aesthetic.33. It’s not real magic unless you can conjure a two-meter-wide magic circle.34. Flat strips of paper can reach the same speed as an F1 race car.35. Fire doesn’t burn unless the plot requires it to.36. No matter how ripped your shirt gets, it’s not coming off.37. Men with black hair and glasses (including sunglasses) cannot be trusted.38. Anyone who says having magic powers is cool could not have been more wrong.39. It’s possible to store two swords and enough clothing for four people inside the mouth of a bunny/pork bun.40. Who wears short shorts? Little boy detectives wear short shorts!41. Four leaf clovers aren’t as lucky as they’re made out to be.42. If you’re a character voiced by Megumi Ogata/cool/fan favourite/bishounen, you’re doomed.43. Hell, you’re in a CLAMP anime. You’re doomed.44. Remember your dreams- they’re the key to the plot.45. If you can’t whistle, “hyuu” instead.46. If you feel someone’s watching you, they probably are.47. If he’s tall, dark and handsome, he’s taken- by the outrageously cute boy standing next to him.48. Feathers have the ultimate power. Buy a chicken.49. If your series is happy sugar-coated fairies and gay, you will most likely all die a horrible death at the hand of a psychotic clone.50. Everything will be alright.51. Just because you return from a journey, doesn’t mean you’ll return in one piece.52. Everything happens in Tokyo.53. Cute stuffed animals make the best magical servants.54. Swords longer than your height are easy to manage.55. Attack names/chants are more important than actual skill or experience.56. Cherry blossoms are a sign of good luck.57. Cherry blossoms are a sign of bad luck.58. Cherry blossoms are- sod that, if you see cherry blossoms, run.59. Even after your heart is pierced by someone's hand, you will still have plenty of time to divulge deep dark secrets/words of wisdom/angst/last words before you actually die.60. Show your true love not by exchanging rings, but eyes.61. No one is really happy. They’re just hiding some dark secret.62. Dressing someone up in cute but outlandish outfits is a sign of great love and affection.63. The easiest way to solve a love triangle is to kill somebody.64. Inanimate objects have feelings.65. Eyes, especially magic ones, are in high demand.66. Cosplay is completely normal in Tokyo.67. Love your parents while you can.68. The general public is oblivious to strange/supernatural/inexplicable/mysterious events/people/objects.69. Don’t give your name to strangers.70. Wherever you are, there is a Miyuki somewhere in the background.71. Apparently, magic allows you to eat other people’s eyes like candy.72. Walking between a fence and a lamp-post will send you to another time/dimension.73. Never trust shop owners.74. You can adore liquor more than food, but you do not have an alcohol problem.75. Everyone who's important, has the birthday April 1st.76. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye-then it's a pairing.77. Nothing says love than agreeing to be someone's primary life source.78. When asking the Japanese what a word means, definitions don't matter, you just need Kanji79. Nothing says love like telling them to live till the day you kill them80. Nothing says love like placing varius suffixes onto the end of the first four letters of their name81. Clow Reed’s sole purpose in life was to create objects that could destroy the world and then die with no explanation on why he built them in the first place

Sometimes I write things, and sometimes these things are about Dipper and Pacifica and I'm deeply sorry about that. Fluff inside. Please consider that everything before chapter 8 was written before 'Northwest Mansion Mystery' and may seem out of context with the show.

The 99th Emperor Lelouch vi Britannia is in his eighties and now as he neers the end of his life he relives the events which led him to become emperor,a period in time when he was the charismatic,ruthless,invincible and enigmatic Zero the "Iron Prince".

Lelouch, long-lost prince, has been plotting his revenge on Britannia for years. But he's slowly realizing that his excuse for fighting has become more than just an excuse. Between his old anger and new purpose, which will he follow? AU, first person. [Dead]

This is a story with Atem, Yugi, Marik, Seto, and Bakura's kidnapping with the intent to force them into the war brewing with Voldemort. Dumbledore is not the nicest person and Harry is not completely blind to the manipulations.

Glancing over at Drake Damian paused before smirking. "Is that a child's book?" "Mm-hm," Tim said not phased at all as his small smile didn't falter. "It's one of my favorites.". Damian and Tim bonding and fluff.

When he learns that flying anywhere near a Dragon is a recipe for suicide, Harry tries a last minute change of tactics, one designed to use the power of the Bureaucracy forcing him to compete against itself. Little does he know that his solution is its own kind of trap.

Since Bruce Wayne is not available, Damian's school calls in his next of kin and the apparent new head of the Wayne family to discuss his… rebellious behavior: Mr. Timothy Drake-Wayne. Things don't go as planned.

Hiccup didn't see the point in stopping Astrid as she ran off towards his village—towards his father—with his most desperately protected secret. He was leaving anyway. A coming-of-age tale. Deviates from movie. Borderline bromantic-comedy.

Sometimes Bruce uses texting to parent, other times he just likes to mess with Dick. Dick receives a text from Bruce while he's in class. Plus other one shots involving The Bat Family and their technology, home life and whatever hits me.

Camelot rejoices after 'Sweet Dreams' end and the status quo has resumed its happy place. But for Lady Vivian, permanently besotted with Arthur, the nightmare is far from over. Olaf sets out to find the same magical kissing that restored Arthur to his senses in a series of attempts more absurd than any quest.

It was a lazy afternoon in Gotham when Dick Grayson picked up his phone to text his brothers. It was such a harmless act, what could possibly go wrong? Apparently...a lot. One Shot - No slash! Rated T for implied language

[being rewritten] The Requiem is complete and the world is ready to start anew. But for Lelouch vi Britannia, the sun would never rise again. Or so he thought. There was one thing he hadn't accounted for in his finale: the Code. It gives him a chance at a new life, but at what cost? Perhaps not one he would have been willing to pay...but then, he wouldn't even remember paying it.

More that a year after the murder of Harvey Dent Gotham's new mayor makes a public appeal for help, involving the metropolis Blur in a conspiracy that has Clark Kent questioning just what it means to be a hero.

On a routine mission to a normal-looking planet, Kirk and Spock discover a strange cave. Seven handprints were carved into the wall — each moulded to a member of the senior bridge crew of the Enterprise. In order to investigate this anomaly, the entire crew beam down to the planet, and falls into a nightmare. Kirk/Spock. NOW COMPLETE (pending epilogue)

A trickster god does not go about acquiring power by brute force. AKA, the one where, instead of becoming a supervillain when he fell to Earth, Loki somehow ended up as Tony Stark's personal assistant.

In which Damian Wayne is Batman, Tim Drake is Oracle, and Carrie Kelley is Robin. Carrie and Tim play with computers, Damian and Tim play chess, Carrie and Damian yell at each other a bit, and everything goes about as well as you would expect.

.:C:. AU. Billa didn't know she was about to fall violently in love, not when she first heard that the dwarf king Thorin was looking for a new partner. Her main priority was still to just go home and make second dinner for herself, forgetting the entire thing ever happened. She didn't realize all of Erebor would never be the same. fem!BilboxThorin.

One-shot AU 2x19: During his birthday celebration, Gold makes it so whatever Henry wishes for will really come true. But that gift backfires horribly as the boy's wish forces the Dark One to participate in family bonding.

One Shot: Tim visits Damian's grave, but it isn't the 52 Tim who should be there. There's something going on behind the scenes and this Red Robin wants to tell someone, so why not his dead little brother?

Harry starts up a Rebellion after Dumbledore is forced to flee Hogwarts and his two targets are Dolores Umbridge and Severus Snape. He has a foolproof plan: to drive them insane by acting insane himself. Complete and sequel, Rising, is up!

Complete. Genderswap, mature themes. Written for a kinkmeme prompt, looking at the events of the movie if Charles had been a woman. This story will also have the psychic-bond trope, as well as being a shameless fix-it fic. Erik/always-a-girl-Charles.

"None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin. And none of us can escape it." She had always been an unfortunate little thing, with a penchant for danger and an obvious love for clumsiness. Merlin wondered if life was purposefully being unfair to her. Born-a-girl!Merlin; Merlin/Arthur Pendragon

The more I research it, the more I know it has to be true. Dick Grayson is Robin. And that means Bruce Wayne is Batman. All the pieces fit. I move my Dick and Bruce Wayne things into the Batman and Robin box and buy an extra lock for it.

Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange were with Voldemort when he attacked the Potter's. In a split second descion, they take Harry with them and aren't seen for 15 years. When he does return he turns everything upside down. GreyHarry.

What if Palpatine had been given much stronger precognitive abilities back when he was young, back in the days when all he cared about were racing and pissing off his father? If he'd known how much work becoming Supreme Ruler of the Galaxy would be back during his teenage years, would he have even bothered?

Summer, 1963, and John Watson has just moved back to England following his father's death. It looks set to be a boring few weeks, until he meets a strange boy climbing trees who tells him he should believe in magic. In the years leading up to the first Wizarding War, friendships will be formed that will later be put to the test. Written for Scooby2408's birthday. Updates daily.

Harry underwent a drastic change on his 15th birthday, then few months later, he suffered potion accident that changed his life around a hundred and eighty degree. Severitus/gender-bender/DracoHarry not slash.

One Shot: in a world where the Pre-52 and 52 somehow mixed together and started to work out, you get one very stressed out former boy wonder bottling up everything while trying to bring his friends back to normal. Hopefully a lighthearted visit from someone he trusts explicitly can help him breathe, at least a little. Slight AU

Wolf clenched his fists as a familiar face appeared on the screen. "Cub," Fox whispered as he and the other three men stared at the next target and youngest member of K Unit. Mix in everyone's favorite assassin and what do you get?

Written by Bingo. Take five powerful teenagers, add one teenage spy, throw in a couple of butt-kicking wizards, and you get this: A parody of Power of Five, Harry Potter and Alex Rider. Warning: may make you laugh uncontrollably...

Coulson has plenty of experience in the field of dealing with obnoxious, misbehaving children. Compared to being the parent of one six-year-old Calvin Coulson, taking care of the crazy bunch known as the Avengers is an utter doddle. If only home life was so easy.

Tag for Infiltrator. Wally was bothered by nearly drowning more than he let on. And bothered by how unbothered all his teammates seemed to be about it. After the mission's end, he makes tracks for the Rogues' bar and has to wonder whether it's a good or bad thing that his villains want to kill Cheshire for him.

During the end of fourth year, Harry Potter begins to feel an unexplainable pain. He has no idea that he is going through puberty, and that he, to his grave dismay, is actually female. See how one chromosome alters the HP world. FemHarry X Draco . Rating: T/M

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are the best, the baddest, and the loudest in their Auror Unit. And now they've been thrown through time to thirty years in the past. How much chaos can these two cause? Rated for violence and language.

The Ace Card, starts the game. The Divine One, the Jack of Spades plays. The Diamond Queen, the King and Queen of Diamonds, continues. The Faithful One, the Jack of Spades, mourns. The Eternal One, the Queen of Spades is resurrected. And the Joker wins.

Post-Manga.Shopkeeper!Watanuki.Oneshot. Beedle the Bard's version of 'The Three Brothers' is not entirely accurate. The one who the three brothers met that day was not 'Death' but a mysterious man claiming to be a wish-shop keeper. And he demands a price.

Wars are almost always fought in far-off lands with unpronounceable names against some well-defined 'evil'. But other wars are small, barely noticeable, and they're the ones in front of us everyday. NOW A THREE-SHOT!

It had started as a joke, contingency plans made for various hypothetical circumstances, but then the world falls under mind-control, their mentors turning against them, and those rules made up in jest become something to survive by.

One Shot: Bruce had next to no experience with kids until Dick came around, and he swore he'd give him a better life than what he got. So whenever the chance comes around, Dick takes care of their neighbor's kid, Tim Drake.

This is a collection of 'funnies' about the unlikely event that these books either mate, or fall into nuclear waste and instead of disintegrating, mould together to mix them up... It's a humorous thingy, so characters will be somewhat OOC... Enjoy!

King Caspian is finally reunited with Edmund and Lucy...along with their cousin Eustace. But Caspian is about to learn more than he bargained for about Edmund's dark past. Will Caspian learn from it? Or has he doomed the voyage?

T is for Troll; T is for Testing the Limit of Arty's Self-Control. Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon trolling Artemis Crock at school? Of course it was bound to happen. Requested by crunchydill on Tumblr. Part 2 of Satellites on Parade's 'Routines'.

A one-shot about what happens when Teito, Castor, Lab and Frau go to the beach. R&R if you wanna, not too picky but no flaming please! I'm new at this! Perfectly clean. I think. Picture belongs to rightful owner!

Terry takes Harry's Christmas wish a little too seriously, and plucking up all the Ravenclaw courage he has, resolves to ask for our favourite snarky Potions Professor's help. Oh Terry, what happened to all that Ravenclaw intelligence?

The Hogwarts staff gather in the Headmaster's office after the first couple of weeks of classes to discuss their students. McGonagall isn't feeling very Gryffindorish, Flitwick feels mischievious, Quirrell is disturbed, and Snape is sulking. Oh dear...

It's a normal day for the guys in the CLAMP Characters' Staff Room when Subaru mentions how bad his life sucks. Mild language, Tsubasa category 'cause it includes 5 characters that show up. Spoilers for end of TRC manga and X anime peices of manga .

"I'm a weatherman, not a—Good afternoon, Amity Park! This is Lance Thunder bringing you live to what looks like a ghostly tug-a-war with our own town hero, Danny Phantom, as both the rope and opposition. Anything you'd like to add, Mr. Phantom?"

After Voldemort's demise, Harry and his friends set out to piece together the life of Severus Snape. What sort of man was he really, and how did he get to be that way? Was he a hero or a cruel teacher who teased a child about her overbite?

A series of vignettes expanding the story of the First Class movie, mostly focused on the relationship between Charles and Erik. Philosophy, agony, sarcasm, profanity. *The ONLY story on FFN to include the phrase "Quit reading my torso." I checked. *

When Loki vanishes there are rumours he defected to the enemy and both Odin and Thor denounce him publicly. The truth is that Loki is being held and tortured but he doesn't give in, trusting that his family will come for him. torture, implied non-con

Twenty years ago during the Apocal-oops-never-mind-we'll-come-back-later, a flaming Bentley flew over the heads of several officers from the Met, who were manning a rather ineffective roadblock at the time. One of those officers was a young Greg Lestrade.

Danny's parents saw him change but think phantom's overshadowing him, already thinking this could possibly happen Danny came up with a very interesting way of controlling the situation. One-shot... preferably not towards me.

An Alternate Universe, where Darren is a girl. Yes, it's another one of those fics. What if it's possible to change your destiny? One impossible slip and everything could change. As of June 2012, lemons have been removed and some grammar mistakes corrected. Yay for SteveDarren!

Seto knew things would change when he became a Kaiba. But, a new brother was not part of his and Gozaburo's deal. The life of the Kaiba family as brothers compete for their place as the heir of Gozaburo's company and the very right to be called a 'Kaiba'.

A side story to my other fic, The Impossible. Steve's reaction to finding out that Darren is -ahem-. If you were following my series, you know what I'm talking about. Lemon-free, some vague references to baby-making.

They met when they were children, their mother's had died. They felt a spark, a kindredship that grew into friendship. 10 years later, when Eric takes a mute Ariel to Agrabah, something akin to recognition is ignited between the decievers. Ariel/Aladdin

Mimi lived the enchanted life of a sorcerer's daughter. Until she got a wicked stepmother who sort of took over the castle and turned Mimi into a goose. Very inconvenient. Retelling of "Dwarf Longnose".

Kamen Rider Decade. AU. Before it all started, before the journey ever begins... strange happenings had started happening in the original Rider worlds. Once again the nine Kamen Riders have to again take upon their Rider lives in order to save their world

In SCORPIA, the airports were informed that capturing the danger, Alex Rider, was a top priority. Later, when he's detained at Heathrow while on a school trip, Alex finds out that MI6 never detracted that order. Oneshot for prone2dementia.

She was the beauty and he was the creep. She said something and he liked it. Though they tried to avoid each other, they still messed up. She just can't help liking him when he comes everyday with useless excuses to see her. AlicexMasquerade Completed!

Harry and Merlin duke it out for the title of "Most Crapped On." Both have been through insanely angsty times, but what happens when they face off about who's had it worse... with a plethora of fellow characters as an audience and Gandalf as referee?

I was reviewing one of Allora Gale's stories and I mentioned that I can tell when a fanfic is really good because I start having fanfic ideas for it. She asked me to write it. So here it is. *edit* now a series of oneshots! Enjoy!

The Empress of Britannia, Nunnally Vi Britannia goes to pay her respects at the Fuji Mausoleum. In remembrance to her late sister and the Japanese who suffered on that tragic day, she meets someone of interest. Someone who may influence her future.

Response to Challenge by PhantomInvader! He's good looking, athletic, the dream of Casper High girls, but still finds time to beat up our favorite ghost hybrid. The question is why? Is Dash Baxter the victimizer or victim? Rated T for minor swearing.

On Monday, Alex saves the world from an insane multibillionaire. On Tuesday, Alex assassinates the head of a corporation. On Wednesday, Alex reports to MI6. On Thursday, Alex pays a visit to Scorpia. Does anyone truly know who Alex Rider is? One-shot.

It's the truth; The four women known as CLAMP have taught me more than my own school teachers. Here are some of the valuable life lessons I have learned from them, and ways that they have spread their vast wealth of knowledge to me.

Ash Ketchum is a Master, But not the way he-or anyone else had imagined.6 years ago, Ash was betrayed. He is now dragged from solitude to face the people he hated more than any of his enemies... His Friends. The way of a wanderer is hard on you ON HIATUS

Sherlock and John go to the pub after a long day and Sherlock realizes that the man sitting next to them is a serial killer. He then proceeds to tell everyone how he knows. Written for a prompt on the LJ kinkmeme.

They are not Hogwarts-bound exchange students, nor are they teachers of magical arts. They are purely prisoners of war, thrown into a dangerous new world that they didn't know existed. There are no alliances here. There are no strings attached. YGOxHP

Harry recalls that a pale little girl called Sally-Anne was sorted into Hufflepuff during his first year, but no one else remembers her. Was there really a Sally-Anne? Harry and Hermione set out to solve the chilling mystery of the lost Hogwarts student.

"Do you think I have big feet?" "What?" "Do you think I have big feet?" "What kind of question is that?" "It's a question of whether or not you think I have big feet." James and Sirius have an interesting conversation at three in the morning. One-shot.

AU. Everyone lives in Condo 11. Lulu tries to keep sane but that's hard when CC always steals his Credit Card, Kallen is a fangirl, Anya invades his privacy, etc. VV not included. Better than it sounds, surely. You'll enjoy it. Part of my On A Roll series

Ryou Bakura is never alone, even when he wants to be. Haunted by a demented spirit who has taken up residence in his mind, he's forced to play a game when he doesn't know all the rules. He can't go back. You think you have problems? Talk to Ryou.

What would have happened if it hadn't been C.C. that was in the container? My first try at Code Geass, please tell me what you think. Will have a few changes in the story, or some things wouldn't make sense. No Yaoi

Tyson MacGyver is the hottest, coolest, smartest Hawaiian-Shirt wearing action hero around. He possesses the amazing ability to build a bomb using only Swiss Cheese. And he's sent on a mission: Rescue teen Kai Hiwatari from 'the Gang that doesn't shower!

Dr. Dumbledore suspects that Harry's hallucinations about Hogwarts and the Dark Lord hold the clues to a terrible family secret. What are the Potters hiding? And what is Harry's relationship to the shadowy Voldemort? Now COMPLETE.

The Gryffindor Common Room has a palm tree, a small forest of pine trees, more tinsel than can possibly be safe, and the constant sound of drums. Obviously, Harry is personalizing the Twelve Days of Christmas. Backwards.

When Mr. Tiny unleashes a dark mystical creature, Darren and Steve are forced to set aside their differences and work together to stop it from leading both clans to their dooms. But what has this creature got to say to them?

AU. He was a prince, she was a servant, they were introduced by a red bird, they danced at a ball, she left at midnight, he found her again and they lived happily ever after. All that and because C.C. obviously stands for Code Cinderella.

After accidentally deaging Voldemort during the Final Battle, Harry shocks the wizarding world by deciding to raise five-year-old Tom Riddle. A threeshot following them into the hours, days, and years after the war. DH non-compliant, no pairings.

Psuedo-immortality was as much as Voldemort was ever going to be able to achieve. And if Hades isn't allowed to directly drag him down to his realm, then his son, Nico, is more than willing to do it for him.

The conversation between Lelouch and CC a few hours before Zero Requiem.I've tried to keep it in accordance to their personalities.Sad and depressing, hence the rating. The title means "Rest in peace" in latin. Major spoilers for the ending.

Steve and Joe never understood each other. And when you're growing up torn between magic and reality, it helps to have a brother you can rely on. But at least Steve always had his puppy... all Joe has is a duck and a grudge.

When a dedicated superhero breaks his arm, he deserves a little time off, right? Batman doesn't think so, and he's the one with the cast. Clark brings him to Smallville to rest up anyway, but Bruce doesn't go down without being at least a bit annoying.

Mass-murderers are not meant to be babysitters. Sometimes, though, sacrifices are made for little sisters. Bellatrix watches over her baby nephew and hilarity is bound to ensue on what could very well be Draco and Bella's last adventure in child-care.

She suspected it had to do with her lack of magic, that perhaps her brain was unsuited for prolonged exposure to idiocy via telepathic communication. - A one-shot fic in which Merlin and Morgana's newly discovered psychic abilities drive Gwen crazy.

Ben and Abigail have tried for years to have a child and finally choose to go through the system and take in a foster kid. They come across Riley Poole, fourteen years old, who is afraid of...everything, it seems. Can they help him get over his past?

A Ben and Riley "How They Met" story involving a rainstorm, Star Wars references, and a broken computer. Slightly AU, for no cubicles are involved. Also contains a little h/c, because I can't keep it away.

“You said two miles, maybe three,” Edmund says, his boots splashing mud onto their trousers. “I did not agree to walking ten miles in the rain!” Edmund and Peter, to Narnia and back and back again. LWW through LB, 50 sentences. PG-13.

Another consequence haunts them in their existence. They meet two new faces.. and one old and seemingly immortal. And they wonder, if some coincidences can somehow be fated. / sequel to 'A Consequence to Forever'. Futurefic. LelouchxC.C.

They once kept a cat and a little girl. But they were immortals - and it was one of the painful truths in their existence that sooner of later, no matter how many companions they gather, it'll end up to be just the two of them again. / Lelouch/C.C.

It was a gentle world, and a very innocent harmless picnic. But Schneizel's acting skills and Kanon's storytelling talent had been put to test. Cornelia was laughing hard, though. / Kanon/Schneizel. crackfic, implied yaoi

During the State Championship basketball game at the beginning of HSM3, a West High cheerleader laments the fact that East High can't even get through one lousy basketball game before bursting into song.

Harry was sent to Azkaban after being framed for murder in the beginning of his 6th year at Hogwarts. While there, he unlocks the "Power the Dark Lord Knows Not". What will happen once his former friends know he's innocent? Watch the fun.

Oneshot from Ron’s POV. Ron tries to explain to the twins just how Harry made the Ministry of Magic make a new classification for magical creatures, and why the puffskeins were now considered the scariest magical creature of all time. No pairings.

His second thought was that the former High King held bitterness and anger close to him, the way his brother Edmund held judgement like a hammer and Lucy held joy as if it were a weapon. Caspian on the Pevensies mostly on Peter .

He breathed deep of the air of the wardrobe, which to him still tasted of Narnia and magic and the Western Woods it had once led to, the realm of King Edmund the Just. Shortly after LWW, no pairings, one-shot.

Riley didn't think he was looking for someone to trust; after all, it didn't work out too well the last time. Benjamin F. Gates and his treasure hunt? Just a distraction from old wounds. ...Maybe. Then again, maybe not.

So, we all saw the episode Identity Crisis, right? There was Fun Danny and Super Danny. Well, what if that was a joke between them? What if their attitudes in that episode were all Phantom’s idea? Omg, humor! XD

To be fair to Uncle Alphard, there were very few people that could control all five Black heirs at once, since they seemed to instinctively know how to combine their individual strengths when "negotiating". Gen. Merry Christmas!

Percy Weasley recieves some fictional inspiration before realizing that Authority, though Authority, is not always right. Through DH, he tries to do the right thing, rescue Muggleborns without losing his life or his job, and find the right laws. Complete.

Someone always bothers to wake up Lelouch or even C.C. these days. For some reason, Suzaku, Jeremiah and even Sayoko had all taken up schedules on who to do the job at what day of the week. LelouchXCC. Crack-ish. A Happy Story.

The woman who sat in the Queen's seat is the same green-haired beauty who resides in the Emperor's room. LelouchXCC, a little peek on the reason behind the seating arrangements of the emperor and the witch.

When Paulina is offered a ride home from an unexpected source, she gets a huge shock; Since when, Paulina wanted to ask, did Danny Fenton ride a motorcycle? No PP, D/P friendship, Paulinacentric, oneshot.

We all know that Batman was captured by the Lex Luthor and the lot. But what we *don't* know, is what *really* happened. See, this is why Batman doesn't smile. It doesn't do anything but get him into trouble...

Hogwarts has a Sarcastic Little Git inside it’s walls. That Sarcastic Little Git is deeply disgruntled. In an effort to strike out against those who annoy him [read:everybody], he is posting mocking and vaguely offensive “Guidelines” on the notice boards.

Artemis and Butler, the ideal team? Backtrack to their early days: Toddler Artemis refuses to let Butler 'order' him and the Green Beret commander would rather die than admit that he has finally met his match IN A ONE YEAR OLD BABY!

Crossover with HP! Whatever happened to Sirius Black? What if he fell into MiddleEarth? What insanity might ensue? And how will Saruman and Sauron be affected? A million laughs. Minor sexual inferences. Not slash!

Dean and Sam fall into the hands of Satanists, who, naturally, want to use Sam as the vessel for the Golden Eyed Demon. Well...they do get A Certain Golden Eyed Demon. And an avenging Angel. And a serious posterior whooping. Good Omens Crossover

But will it fit? Is it right to give it? Barney has painted something quite extraordinary, and he's called Will to judge if it's a fitting gift for a couple about to wed. Spoilers up to Silver on the Tree.

AU. Harry, neglected by his parents, runs away in the night. Who should find him, but Voldemort and his trusted familiar? Awakening in a strange place with the most feared Dark Wizard around, what becomes of our Harry? Read and find out! Nonslash.

Just shy of his second year, Danny learns of a custom meant to honor the day each ghost first entered the next world. Now the great Danny Phantom must face a throng of well meaning ghosts and somehow survive their gifts with his secret and sanity intact

Eight yearold Harry is ignored, treated as a servant, and generally detested by his so called family. Naturally, he's not about to take that lying down. Join Harry on his passive aggressive quest for revenge on a normal day in his perfectly abnormal world

I don't know how to tell you this, mate, but you're a homicidal, insane teenager with magical powers that make Dumbledore jealous. Seamus Finnigan.' In which Harry's mental state is discussed. Relentlessly.

"Heir of Slytherin! Seriously evil wizard coming through!" "Yeah, he's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant!" Watch as Harry is stalked by Fred and George, film makers Extraordinaire. Crack!fic

COMPLETE. Sequel to The Balance of Power trilogy (The Slytherin Connection, the Unexpected Inheritance and the Trelawney Prophesy). Post Hogwarts. Can Harry get out of this last mess – alive? The manipulation continues.

Sequel to the Unexpected Inheritance. As the most powerful 17 year old wizard in the world, will Harry succumb to Voldemort's manipulations and become the Balance of Power? The fate of the wizarding world depends on one single choice. COMPLETE!

Sequal to Harry Potter and the Slytherin Connection. The plot and the themes continue. Voldemort continues his manipulation, Harry becomes and Animagas, Harry is arrested, more about the balance of power and the title comes into play. COMPLETE.

It's Harry's fifth year and he's finally able to escape the Dursleys only to find that Voldemort has other plans. After numberous failed attempts to rid himself of the Gryffindor brat, Lord Voldemort now knows he must change tactics. COMPLETE.

The Doumeki's have been given an egg to protect and use. However, generations of Doumekis have passed and now Watanuki has been set free. What will this Doumeki choose, and how will it affect them all?

Five boys were witnesses to a massacre, join them as they stive to get over their grief and journey through life with new found friends.Rated T just in case.Crossover between HIVE, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Artemis Fowl, Alex Rider and Harry Potter