This Month’s Asuka…

…features one story about making low-calorie sweets because EVERYONE loves counting calories and HEY LET’S ALL DIET except that guy because he eats eight muffins in a sitting and never gains weight HOW COULD THAT BE it’s almost like it’s genetic OH WAIT STOP THINKING, and one story about a penguin who wants to go see the south pole before HE DIES and he knows he’s going to die because he is metabo. Way to take it one step further with the “fat = ABOUT TO DROP DEADAT ANY SECOND” meme. Because I bet you’ve never seen an old fat person.