I had to beat my chest the first year I went. My cholesterol probably spiked after the second. Now after a year hiatus, the heart-stopping Fry Party made its return to my friends’ current (and in some cases former) group house and to my loving but narrow arteries.

Don’t even ask me about the Toaster Strudels. That was a total fail.

Let’s visit some of my more memorable fry-results, shall we?

THE FRY THAT SHOULD BE SOLD AT CAMDEN YARDS: Bacon wrapped hot dog

Courtesy of Nesa, this meat on meat creation is good on its own and in a bun. Evenly wrapped and easy to fry, this was a good start to the party. Just remember toothpicks to hold the bacon slabs in place if you ever do this on your own.

THE FRY THAT PUT ANOTHER DIMENSION ON POTATOES: Fried mashed potato balls

This is the only way I want to eat mashed potatoes now.

The breading was awesome and everything held together in the oil. I recommend maybe halving this or eating it in smaller bites instead of doing what I initially tried which was stuffing the entire thing in my mouth. A whole lot of potato in your mouth at once is a choking hazard.

THE FRY THAT STILL VISITS ME IN MY DREAMS: Fried double stuff Oreos and banana

Thank you Winnie for your ingenuity. If not for it, I would not have have exposed to the glory that is tthe marriage of cream and the sweet solid potassium filled nectar. Yes it IS as gooey as it looks. And if I ever get a Charley horse this is what I want someone shoving down my gullet to replenish my muscle strength.

THE FRY THAT COULD’VE BEEN BETTER: Vegan soy chorizo bites

Normally, when I hear that someone has brought anything vegan to a food gathering, my taste buds get as uncomfortable as Bobby Jindal within a two foot radius of a sari. But because I have soft spot for anything chorizo I gave it a shot. Honestly, it didn’t taste that bad, but this needs to be packed in TIGHTLY. It looks deceptively like falafel, but it’s not the same texture.