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NAUGHTY AND NICE?

Americans may say â€œpleaseâ€? and â€œthank
you,â€? but when it comes to being polite, saying and doing are
two very different things. According to a survey conducted
exclusively for American Demographics by Rochester,
N.Y.-based market research firm Harris Interactive, most of us
could use a little help from Miss Manners. The vast majority of
Americans freely admit that they sometimes swear or cuss in mixed
company, and almost half confess that they spit, burp and even pass
gas in public from time to time.

A mere 5 percent of Americans say they have no complaints
whatsoever regarding the politeness and manners of their fellow
countrymen, according to the online poll of 2,295 adults conducted
between May 21 and 23. The rest of us, however, have an another
opinion on the matter. A whopping 85 percent of adults surveyed
agree that â€œAmericans are not as polite as they should
be,â€? and 64 percent believe that â€œwell-mannered
individuals today are few and far between.â€? About a third (34
percent) of adults also believe that â€œunfortunately, manners
have been completely abandoned by the majority of Americans.â€?
(Multiple answers were allowed.)

Yet despite their opinions about the rest of the population's
poor manners, people don't seem to think that they themselves are
the source of the problem. Virtually all (96 percent) of the survey
respondents report that they say â€œpleaseâ€? and
â€œthank youâ€? either most of the time or every time they
are presented with the opportunity, and 94 percent claim they say
â€œexcuse meâ€? just as frequently. A majority of Americans
say they will open doors for others (82 percent); offer their seat
to someone who really needs it, such as a pregnant woman (74
percent); and address people by courtesy titles, like Mr. or Ms.,
almost all the time (63 percent). Most Americans claim that they
regularly help strangers in need (59 percent) and write thank-you
letters (55 percent).

Of course, Americans are not always on their best behavior
â€” and at times, they can be downright rude. According to the
survey, 86 percent of Americans admit that they put their elbows on
the table at least once in a while, 80 percent interrupt others or
speak out of turn, 69 percent honk their car (or monster SUV)
horns, 63 percent swear or cuss in public, and 57 percent talk
during movies or shows. Less than half of adults concede that they
will spit, burp or pass gas in public (41 percent), cough or sneeze
without covering their mouth (34 percent), or chew with their mouth
open (27 percent). And just 16 percent of Americans own up to the
fact that they sometimes cut in line.

We can't say for sure whether women are more polite than men,
though we can say that the sexes tend to behave or express
themselves differently. For instance, 66 percent of women say they
write thank-you notes most of the time or every time that the
occasion warrants it, versus just 41 percent of men. Women 55 and
older are the most likely to put pen to paper to express their
gratitude (88 percent do so most of the time), whereas men ages 18
to 34 are the least likely to do so (only 31 percent send thank-you
notes as often).

Men are also a lot less couth than women in public. They're
almost twice as likely as women to say they spit, belch or pass gas
in public (55 percent versus 29 percent), and far more of them use
â€œcolorfulâ€? language. About three-quarters (72 percent)
of men swear in public, compared with about half (55 percent) of
women. In fact, men are more likely than women to engage in all of
the bad behaviors we asked about in our survey, except for talking
during a movie and interrupting others â€” two activities at
which women seem to excel.

We found other areas that prove guys aren't so bad. They're far
more likely than women to open doors (91 percent versus 74 percent)
and to pull out a chair for someone (43 percent versus 23 percent).
They're also more likely to give up their seat to someone in need
(78 percent versus 70 percent). Of course, not everyone appreciates
such gestures. Almost half (49 percent) of all Americans say that
traditional acts of courtesy, like opening a door, are sometimes
misinterpreted as being sexist or ageist.

Contrary to popular belief, no one part of the country is more
or less polite than any other. However, the ways in which we
conduct ourselves in public do differ depending on where we live.
Southerners are the most likely to put their elbows on the table at
mealtime, but they are the least likely to cut in line and the most
likely to use courtesy titles. Meanwhile, people in the Northeast
are the most likely to send thank-you notes, though 72 percent of
them honk their horns, more than in any other region. Denizens of
the West Coast are the most likely to neglect covering their mouth
when they sneeze but the least likely to talk during a movie.
Midwesterners talk the most during movies and speak out of turn
more often than anyone else. But at least they remember to keep
their elbows off the table.