It has been awhile since I’ve shared my own personal experience with fear, anxiety and panic attacks. Even as I read my story on the Season of Peace website, I realize it’s actually quite old and needs to be updated. So much has happened in my life since then.

Most notable, however, is how much my perspective has changed on freedom. Most of my experience with fear has been spent coping, covering and numbing the pain. It has only been in the past year or so that I’ve actually begun pursuing true freedom–the kind of freedom where coping, covering and numbing are no longer needed.

My story starts decades ago, when I was a child lying in bed at nights experiencing this overwhelming sense of fear and dread. I would lie in bed trying to go to sleep, my mind wandering anxiously from thought to thought. Then, one night, I had this thought about dying and being trapped in a lifeless body unable to move, staring into darkness for all eternity. This terrifying thought would trigger waves of panic in me. I would often jump out of bed and run to mom, screaming at the top of my lungs. The fear was incredible intense.

In the 70’s, there was no name for this “condition” that we now refer to as panic attacks. I spent countless hours in the doctor’s office trying to describe this indescribable feeling. They would often diagnose me with stress, prescribe some tranquilizers and send me on my way. I was just 16 years old when they started medicating me for this unknown “stress” condition.

I pushed through high school with sporadic outbreaks of panic. I would sit in class like any other day and all of sudden, my body would go numb and my heart would start racing. Fear would hit me hard, but I wouldn’t move. I didn’t want anyone to know what was going on. It was incredibly terrifying.

When I started college, I discovered a form of self-medication: alcohol. It was cheap, effective and readily available. The problem is that alcohol created these incredibly-anxious, morning-after experiences. One hungover morning, while driving to San Antonio for a job, I was hit with the most terrifying panic attack I had ever experienced. My mind was racing uncontrollably and I thought I was losing my mind. I kept thinking to myself that I was going crazy. This is what going insane must feel like.

After a few terrifying hours of complete panic, I was able to get back home and try to sort through all these confusing thoughts. Still, I had no answer for these crippling, terrifying episodes of fear. A few years later, when the attacks started to increase, I met with a psychiatrist in Austin. After one visit, he pulled out this big, black book and had me read a section titled “Chronic Panic and Anxiety Disorder”. I read through that description and was totally shocked. All of sudden, this “condition” had a name. And not only that, there were others struggling with this disorder. I sensed a bit of relief that day.

I moved to Dallas after graduating college to go to work full time. Even though I now had a name for this condition, the anxiety and panic attacks continued. In 1991, at my wits end, I started looking for a church. I was very curious about faith and if anyone could help me find healing, I knew God could. I found a church in November of 1991. Shortly after attending a few times, the pastor began sharing his own experience with panic attacks. It was amazing to find someone who had experienced what I had experienced, and he was willing to work with me.

Over the years, the attacks would come and go. There were seasons of good and season of bad. But in 2000, I decided to get off all medication and focus on fitness and nutrition. That kicked off an amazing season of peace in my life.

The year of 2000 was also the start of a new mindset for me in this battle against fear. I decided not to give into fear any more. If fear said, don’t go there, I would go there. If fear said you shouldn’t do that, I would do that. With God’s strength, I faced every fear. And even if I was afraid, I would do it afraid. It was an amazing season of victory after victory. And soon, the panic attacks stopped. It was incredible!

Last year, however, something odd happened. The fear and panic came back with a vengeance in September of 2010. Out of nowhere, I was hit with wave after wave of panic one weekend. I wasn’t out of shape or eating poorly. Quite the opposite–I had been training for my first, half Ironman triathlon. I was in the best shape of my life. Something else was going on, but even now, I can’t pinpoint what triggered it.

It was also last year that I began this incredible quest for true freedom. I wanted a deep, soul-cleansing, stronghold-breaking freedom. So, I started reading freedom books like Think Differently, Live Differently, Free Yourself, Be Yourself, Escaping the Matrix and Seeing is Believing. Books like these and videos like these were incredibly life changing. I’m still growing and experiencing incredible depths of freedom to this day. I haven’t experienced a panic attack since that terrifying weekend last September. I’m still hit with the occasional “sense of fear” and “dumps of adrenaline”, but no full-blown panic attacks. I’ve also come to recognize just how much stress plays a role in panic attacks and fear.

My understanding of freedom continues to grow each and every day. If you’re struggling with fear, anxiety and panic attacks, know this: God is fighting for you and he wants to help you experience complete freedom. And, he has given us freedom through Christ. I encourage you to dig into some of these resources and learn about God’s plan for freedom in your life.

Prayer: Father, open up my heart to your plan for freedom. Show me more about how to get completely free from the fear, anxiety and panic attacks.

When those dark seasons of fear, anxiety and panic attacks hit, it can feel very hopeless. You pray, you beg, and you plead with God to take it away, but the fear continues to taunt and terrorize your soul. It can be very discouraging and very frustrating. And, very confusing.

I want to share some encouraging words to help you through these dark seasons of fear that can be so crippling and disheartening.

All of these are lies. Most likely, they are rooted in years of wrong thinking. The lies were unknowingly spoken over us by parents, family, friends and other influential people in our lives. While they may feel true in our lives, they are not!

Through the truth of scriptures, we must counter those lies with God’s truth:

Let God Speak to You

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” (Psalms 32:8).

God desires to speak into your life through his tender, loving, divine whispers. Take some time to learn how to hear God’s voice. It may feel foreign to you, but God desires to speak to you. Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice.” (John 10:27).

The problem is that we often don’t take time to listen. Or, the busyness and distractions of the day make it difficult to be still and tune in our spirits to God’s Spirit. But, we must listen. “Faith comes by hearing,” (Romans 10:17) so we must take time to listen so that our faith can grow.

Trust Him

When I look back at my life and think through all those years that I struggled with crippling anxiety, panic attacks and fear, it all came down to trust. I believed that I was in charge of my own life. I was responsible for my own peace, my own safety, my own future. The weight of my life was on me.

I can tell you from experience that this is not a good way to live life. The more I learn to trust God and rest in his love for me, the more peace and rest I experience. The more I surrender control to him, the less I have to strive.

Here are some areas that I have learned to trust God more:

I trust that all of my sins–past, present and future–are forgiven (1 John 1:9).

Anyone who has struggled with anxiety, fear or panic attacks knows that peace can be elusive. We search, we struggle, and we desperately grasp for whatever peace we can find. For some, temporary peace comes through worldly escapes like food, alcohol, medication and entertainment. For others, there’s no peace at all–just a sleepless, continual torment.

Deep inside each of us, though, is a craving and desire for true peace. We want our bodies and our minds to be at rest, but the battle within just seems to rage on. Where is that peace? How can we find it?

Let me start by sharing three ways we wrongly search for peace:

Try Harder

In the “try harder” solution, we carry the burden of finding peace. Results are our responsibility, the fruit of our effort. It’s pretty common in the American culture to expect results from trying harder. We find it in schools, in our jobs, in almost every area of our life. “Just try harder, and then you’ll succeed.”

Here’s the problem–it doesn’t bring true, complete healing. Sure, there are some areas of success that come through trying harder, but they are often superficial and short lived. Trying harder puts all of the burden and effort on you.

Trying harder also has the exact opposite effect. The more strength, effort and emotional energy you pour into trying harder, the more adrenaline you release and the more anxiety you create. It’s like blowing on a campfire trying to put it out. You would think that it would help, but you end up feeding the fire more oxygen, and then it burns hotter. The same is true with trying harder–it only feeds the anxiety.

Wait on God

If trying harder is at one end of the self-effort spectrum, then waiting on God is at the other. It’s the notion that we can do nothing on our own, so wait on God. Like the “try harder” solution, there are certain elements of truth in each of these solutions. Sure, there are times we need to engage our will and there are times we need to wait on God. What I’m referring to, however, is that passive “waiting” that does nothing to change.

Yes, there are times we need to wait on God, but it’s far more important that we press in to God, hear his voice and respond to him. Simply waiting on God and doing nothing will not bring lasting peace into our lives.

More Information

Another common response is more information. Over the past two decades, access to information has increased tremendously. There are massive amounts of books, teachings, seminars, workshops, how-to’s and litany of informational resources. Again, information is not bad. We are to grow in our understanding and knowledge, but information alone cannot transform us. Knowing the truth in our mind does not make it real in our heart.

Look at the Pharisees in Jesus’ time. They were a wealth of information and knowledge. They knew the scriptures inside and out. If information alone could bring healing, then these guys would have walked in complete freedom. But, they didn’t. Knowledge and information did not change their hearts.

So, what is the solution? Is there hope for those struggling to find peace? Yes! There is hope! The key is transformation through revelation.

Transformation

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Romans 12:2).

They key to finding peace is not trying harder, waiting on God or learning the right information–the key to finding peace is transformation that comes through believing what God says. Let me explain.

For transformation to take place, we must surrender to God’s way of doing things instead of trying to make it happen on our own. God created each of us to be transformed into the image of his son (Romans 8:29). When we were saved, we were given a new heart (Ezekiel 11:19) and we are now a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). We are transformed when we believe the truth of what God says about us.

“Without faith, it’s impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6). God is not pleased with our own strength and efforts to find peace. God is pleased when we believe what he says about us. This week, I encourage you to take time to listen to God’s voice. Let him speak his transforming love over you. God is at work in you, and he desires for you to live a life full of peace. If you’re not sure how to hear God, check out this article on Hearing God.

Prayer: Father, open up my spiritual eyes to your transformation process. Help me surrender to the healing work of Christ in my life.

In my journey to freedom from fear, anxiety and panic attacks, I have found that physical exercise can be very beneficial. When stressed, your central nervous system becomes highly sensitized to the increased adrenaline levels. Our bodies were designed to respond to threats with this fight or flight response, but anxiety, fear and chronic panic experiences keeps the body at this heightened state of stress, making it difficult to shut down and relax.

A common physical response to fear and stress is the release of cortisol in our body. Cortisol is a hormone produced by the adrenal glands. It regulates blood pressure and the body’s use of fats, carbohydrates and proteins. Many experts refer to it as the “stress hormone” because cortisol secretion increases during stressful situations. Excessive cortisol in the system also suppresses the immune system, making it difficult to fight off diseases, viruses and sicknesses.

Exercise is a very effective means for reducing adrenaline and cortisol levels in the body. Sadly, today’s modern lifestyle doesn’t produce much physical activity. Just a few generations ago, life was much more active. Our daily activities back then included working the land, farming and hunting. And, transportation was not as common as it is today, so we walked everywhere.

Today, life is very different. We drive our cars to the store to shop for food. We often buy pre-made food that only require little preparation. During the day, we usually sit at a desk for hours and then drive back home to sit in front of our TVs. Life today is very convenient and very simple—and very sedentary. It’s why so many people struggle with weight issues today.

Today, I try to be very active, exercising almost 5 to 6 times a week. I work out of my home, so it’s even easier to be lazy and snack all day, so fitness has to be a part of my daily routine. It helps that my wife is a personal trainer.

Here are some of the key benefits for exercise that I have experienced:

Reduces Stress

As I said earlier, exercise reduces the adrenaline levels and the cortisol in your system. Physical activity makes you less stressful. Difficult issues are easier to handle, and you are less likely to snap at others.

Produces Peace Endorphines

Exercise produces endorphines that create a sense of peace and pleasure. Sometimes, the release of these endorphines are referred to as a “runner’s high.” After a hard race or triathlon, these endorphines flood my body, and it’s one of the most peaceful and relaxing times for me.

Helps with Sleep

I used to have problems going to sleep at nights. My mind would race and I would often lay in bed for hours thinking and dwelling on various things. Once I started exercising, it was very easy to fall asleep and stay asleep. Last year, during my triathlon training, I slept so well often getting 8 and 9 hours of solid sleep a night.

Improves Immune System

Another great benefit of exercise is a strong immune system. Since becoming active, my wife and I rarely get sick. We average about one or two sick days a year, and it’s often just a quick, 24-hour virus our son brings home from school.

Keeps the Fat Away

Everyone knows that physical fitness is essential to maintaining a healthy weight and to lose those extra pounds. Doctors used to recommend physical activity 3 times a week, but now it’s suggested that you be physically active for at least 30 minutes everyday. Even walking for 30 minutes a day can be very beneficial.

I would encourage you this week to think about ways to get moving and stay moving. And remember that exercise is like medication–it’s good to help deal with the symptoms of anxiety, fear and panic attacks, but you should also seek wise, Biblical counseling to work through the emotional strongholds that are causing the problems.

Prayer: Father, give me the strength to start exercising on a regular basis, and help me find ways to stay active.

Have you ever asked yourself that question? Maybe not out loud, but in your heart? Do you ever wonder what God thinks about you?

I think it’s a great question, and we should ask ourselves what God thinks about us. Sadly, though, I think that we often “hear” the wrong response. What we “hear” typically is the result of years of faulty thinking patterns, bad programming and a worldly upbringing.

Once you grasp the truth of what God thinks about you and how much he loves you, it will set you free! “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” (John 8:32). When you understand the depths of God’s love for you, his “perfect love will cast out all fear” (1 John 4:18). But, you have to be transformed by renewing your mind (Romans 12:2). You have to change the way you think, and when you do, fear and panic will have no hold on you.

Righteousness

How do you define your righteousness—your “right standing” with God? Is God pleased with you or is he mad at you? Are you only righteous when you haven’t sinned or after you’ve done a bunch of good things? Too often, we define our righteousness by our actions or thoughts: When I sin, I am not righteous, but when I confess my sins, pray, read the Bible and do good things, then I’m righteous again. Then, God accepts me.

But, that’s not how the Bible defines righteousness. Under the new convenant, there was a great exchange. Jesus, who was perfect and righteous before God, became sin for us so that we could become righteous before our Father. “For God made Christ who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Jesus became sin and we became righteous. There’s nothing we can do to become righteous. We simply have to believe in the great Exchange and put our faith in Christ. He is our righteousness. He makes us perfect and pleasing to God. “Christ’s one act of righteousness makes all people right in God’s sight and gives them life” (Romans 5:18).

Sin

What about when I sin? Do I lose my righteousness? Do I lose my right standing with God?

This is where I believe most of our upbringing and worldly programming works against us. We live in a world based on performance. Do good in school, and get good grades. Do good on your job, and get a promotion. We are taught from the earliest age that good works produce good results, and bad works produce bad results. So, naturally, when we think about God’s view of us, we filter it through this clouded, broken heart lens, and fall short. When compared to God’s holiness, we will always fall short. Always.

That’s why it’s absolutely essential we let God transform our hearts and change the way we think about our standing with him. As long as we live with this wrong understanding that God is only pleased with our performance, then we’ll never be able to receive all of God’s love for us. Your sins are forgiven. Your past sins, your present sins, and your future sins are forgiven in Christ. “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west” (Psalms 103:12).

There’s only one thing standing between you and God—what you believe about your righteousness. If you believe you are sinful and that God rejects you, then you will pull away and not come to God when you need him most. But, if you believe that Christ has cleansed you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9), then you can boldly come to the throne of grace in your time of need (Hebrews 4:16) not based on your performance but the performance of Christ.

I encourage you this week to learn more about your right standing with God. The more you understand and believe that in Christ, you are perfect in God’s eyes, the more you will open your heart to his fear-breaking, anxiety-conquering love.

Don’t ask yourself “Is God pleased with me?” Ask yourself, “Is God pleased with Christ?” Because when you put your faith in Christ, you become the righteousness of God. You are perfectly pleasing to God!

Prayer: Father, open my eyes and my heart to truly believe I am perfect in your sight through Christ.

My book, Season of Grace shares my journey from crippling panic attacks to a life of freedom. I share many of the practical, emotional and spiritual steps I took. You can order it from Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

About

For most of my life, I battled crippling anxiety and panic attacks. For the longest time, I had no hope. My world was closing in all around me. Today, I am free and living a life full of peace and abundance. Freedom is real. You can be totally set free for the bondage of fear. [Read my story]