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Everyday Heroes: Man to Man

Luke broke the silence about his depression to create a miniseries that could help other men.

By Stephanie Vozza

Think of the stereotypical Australian man and you might imagine a beer-chugging, rugby-playing bloke. A virile guy with a bloody cool accent and an abundance of moxie.

Chances are good you wouldn’t think of a dude with depression. Luke wants that to change. The Aussie-born television and film director is challenging the stigma that surrounds men and “the D word” by bringing their stories into the open—including his own.

“My depression was something that I’ve always kept hidden from everyone, including those who are closest to me,” says Luke, 40.

Embarrassment and stigma played a role in that secrecy, especially given the prevailing “macho” expectations he grew up with.

“There are social boundaries on men,” he says. “In Australia we have a ‘blokey’ culture…. You don’t share things like depression. Because of these constraints, I believe a lot of men are not even aware that they, [have] depression.”

When Luke moved from Sydney to Los Angeles with his wife in 2013, he found himself immersed in a different culture: open, creative, more attuned to examining and sharing feelings.

Yet switching hemispheres and leaving behind family, friends and steady work also left him emotionally vulnerable. Although the need to chase new assignments kept him preoccupied with making a living, depressive symptoms crept in around the edges.

“With the exception of my relationship, everything changed,” he says. “Suddenly I didn’t have as much work, and I had to make new friends. All of that can be exciting, but it triggered a lot of anxiety as well as lonely feelings.”

Facing facts

Sadness and loneliness are familiar visitors for Eve. Since adolescence, he’s been frequently swamped by feelings of isolation, restlessness, and angst. As a teen, he assumed that was just part of growing up—then later on, part of being a creative person. When close friends suggested he might have depression, he shrugged them off.

The feelings of distress intensified as he grew older. When he hit his 30s, he realized his low moods went beyond the ordinary. He read and researched depression, and it became clear to him that his friends were right.

“My depression comes from a combination of things and it can come out of nowhere,” he says. “I feel like I’m in quicksand—there’s no other way to explain it. It lifts pretty quickly or lasts a couple of days, but it rolls in unannounced.”

Eve says his chief symptom is a strong desire to stay home, turn off his phone, and avoid friends and family. He feels worthless and as if he’s an imposter in his industry. The debilitating bouts happen as often as twice a week or as seldom as twice a month, but most of the time he powers through.

“There are times when it is bad, but I keep it under control,” he says.

It’s better when he has more structure in his daily routine—something that can be hard to come by sometimes.

“My life is very chaotic as a freelancer. I don’t know where my next job is and my days are all different,” he says. “It sounds glamorous, but it’s also hectic…. When I’m on a job for several months and have a routine, I find that it helps.”

A new ‘life’

The first crack in Luke’s cone of silence came when he visited his friend Adam in New York City shortly after moving to L.A. Adam, an actor and writer, had come over from Australia a few years before. When Luke revealed he was troubled by his slow adjustment to the changes in his life, Adam responded by opening up about his own difficulties.

“I was surprised when Adam shared his own feelings of isolation,” Luke recalls. “We both talked about our thoughts and emotions. It was the most open I’d ever been about my feelings, and it was incredibly liberating. It was probably the first time I’d said to anyone that I was depressed.”

That rare guy-to-guy candor got Luke thinking about how there must be other men stewing in silence. He decided to make a web series about depression, but to do it in a way that incorporated humor—nothing “earnest” or “preachy.”

In collaboration with Adam, Luke created Low Life: A Black Comedy About Depression. The six-part series follows Jef, a guy whose life looks great on the surface. Underneath, however, he struggles with depression. The five minute episodes cover topics such as alcohol, therapy, and prescription medications.

To fund the project, Luke and Adam created a Kickstarter crowdfunding campaign. That’s when Eve made his personal battle public.

“I sent out an email to everybody and said, ‘Look, this is a project dear to my heart because I’ve suffered with depression,’” he says “I’d never spoken out about it, and suddenly I was flooded with emails of similar stories from friends and colleagues.”

Although Luke had spent years masking his depression, he was bowled over by how much company he had behind that false front.

“I’m outgoing and friendly,” he says. “You would never realize that it’s a problem for me because I keep it hidden. I found that other people who seemed to have it all together were hiding it, too.”

“There are social boundaries ob men… you don’t share things like depression.”

The response to Low Life—both critical and personal—has been a shot in the arm. The series won the grand jury prize and the best comedy award at the 2014 Melbourne WebFest, and Luke also took home best director honors at Australia’s Online Video Awards that year.

Luke takes pride in shedding light on a topic men are often afraid to talk about.

“I’ve heard from so many people who say that it’s helped them talk about their own depression and from others who identify their friends in the series and now know how they can help.

“At our screening in L.A. some people were laughing and some were crying. It’s fascinating to see how the stories touch people, and it’s rewarding that my personal journey can help others.”

Luke’s Coping Tips

WRITE ABOUT IT. Eve uses his depression to fuel his creativity. “I write loads of stories about what I’m going through, and it helps me process things,” he says. “Some of it turns up in a screenplay and some just sits in notebooks. Channeling the feelings and the stories into a creative outlet can be quite rewarding.”

FIND THE COMEDY. “Laughter can make things easier to swallow,” says Luke. When he has a depressive bout, he searches for opportunities to find humor in a situation and laugh. “Comedy is a great escape,” he says. “It allows you to think about something else and have a laugh, and laughter is something that happens with your whole body. It’s a wonderful feeling.”

FORCE YOURSELF TO SOCIALIZE. Luke says when he’s having bad days, he often wants to avoid people. “There’s nothing wrong with sitting with one’s thoughts. It can be a healthy thing,” he says. “But if it goes to dark places, I’ve learned that it’s good to kick yourself in the [butt] and drag yourself out to see a friend.”

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HEALTHY HABITS

Most of us don’t default to healthy habits. It takes planning and effort, and sometimes a surge of self-discipline, to eat right, exercise, get the sleep we need, and stay on top of work and life tasks. Establishing new habits, let alone purging bad ones, can require major effort, especially if we are also struggling with depression or anxiety. What are some good habits that you've formed and how did you build them?