Submitted for your consideration...the story
of Randy, a mild-mannered Marietta monkey, contentedly living a mundane,
sedate suburban lifestyle on the outskirts of Atlanta with everything
a monkey could want.

And
yet one cold winter day, in February 2000, Randy left his comfortable
lifestyle. In the middle of the night he ventured out in the world, in
search of greater things. This small, plastic, uneducated monkey
went out to change the world, from fighting for rebel causes, to spreading the
truth among the masses. Today he is widely loved, and his popularity
rivals that of L. Ron Hubbard. And today, he is missing.

His
father Dan, is distraught.
"Oh for cryin' out loud. All he had to do was fetch beers whenever
someone called out 'Randy'. Why did he ever leave?"

Three
nefarious individuals Randy was known to keep company with (not to be confused
with well-known TV characters Gopher, Gomer, and Goober) are pictured
here.

It's
also been said Randy had aroused the wrath of Roswell-based mobster "Greenman"
(shown here in a recent FBI file photo with a business associate who made the
mistake of crossing him).

Or
did the CIA somehow surreptitiously implant a probe into Randy's brain, as they
did to this poor sap (photo taken from Bellvue Psychiatric Hospital
archives).

Did
Randy mysteriously fall into some Bermuda Triangle of SE Asia? Has he been
transported into another dimension, or perhaps abducted by an alien race, (as in
this AP photo of a young Moroccan man being abducted by one of these heinous
creatures.)

Or
has his consciousness reached such a high level that he has simply vibrated into
the ether in a state of bliss, as many of his followers claim?

Can
you help? If anyone has seen Randy, or has information as to his
whereabouts, please contact the Cobb County sheriff's office, or contact us here
at christieandwiley@longsstrangetrip.com

PLEASE
HELP! WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED TO RANDY? SEND IN ANY INFORMATION
YOU HAVE (OR CAN MAKE UP).

We're not
coming home without finishing this fascinating tale. Only you can prevent
us from staying in Bali forever.

Send
any information or ideas to us here. (Maybe your name will be drawn for a Bali souvenir if you're lucky).

BREAKING
NEWS! RANDY SIGHTING!!

12/17/00 Special Report

One
of the things you don't want to be burdened with when traveling is a needy
travel companion, someone who's hand you have to hold, who always wants to know
what the plan is, or someone who gets too nervous when the price of the accommodations
falls below $5 per night. Fortunately, Randy is not one of
those types. Randy has been with us since the very beginning of the trip,
and has never been hesitant to go his own direction when the winds of fate gave
him a tug or nudge.

Nevertheless,
being such long-time travel companions has caused us to grow close to our
traveling monkey friend. So we are quite distressed that we have not
seen him since August 20.

We
were in a fretful state.

As a matter of fact, it was all we could
think about.

We
searched for Randy in all the likely places.

One day, a clue showed up.
But what did it mean?

Dumbo didn't know.

----o----

So what could have happened to
Randy? Where was he all during India and Nepal? Was he meditating at
the temple? Had he reached Buddha-hood ?

Or had his search for truth and
enlightenment ended fruitless and frustrated. Was he instead, headed for Hollywood
?

Well dear readers, our intriguing
and heart-wrenching tale is not over yet, though the final chapters draw
near. Where is Randy now? Has he found his true self, and does he
know what he wants to do when he grows up? Or will he forever travel the
world, in a desperately unfulfilling search for love and adventure ?

Only
Randy can give us the answers to these, and many more questions. Please
help us find him. He was last seen somewhere in Southeast Asia. An
alert reader sent in the only known photo of Randy since sometime in
August. If you have seen anyone matching his description (driver's license
records describe him has a small plastic monkey), please email us immediately.

Also
beware, Randy is a master of disguise!

Feb, 2000. Our tale begins...

Here are chronicled the grand adventures of Randy, and his wild travels as he
searches for truth, meaning, and good times throughout the world.

Our
tale begins in the small hamlet of Marietta, Georgia, where Randy lives a quiet
existence on a friendly cul-de-sac, spending his time fetching beers for his
parents, Dan and Therese Clark. But something is missing. Is this
all there is to life? Where is the meaning? Where is the
gusto? Randy yearns for something more....a cause...a purpose...

So
in the middle of the night, during a full moon, Randy quietly slips out of the
house, and takes off for places unknown.

It
doesn't take long for Randy to make a new friend, Zapatista revolutionary Marcos
Garcia. After meeting at a local cantina and downing several tequilas,
Marcos explains the Zapatista cause to Randy, and Randy is moved.

Randy
adopts a new look, and heads to the birthplace of the Zapatista movement,
Chiapas Mexico.

Randy
experiments with new religions and local stimulants as he continues his travels
south to Peru.

Having
some tequila with his new girlfriend, Pachamama.

Travel
can bring about changes, as one has new experiences, new ideas, and sees new
cultures and different ways of being. It makes one think.

His Zapatista activities bringing the unwanted attention of the South American
authorities, Randy has been keeping an extremely low profile this month.
In fact, we didn't even know where he was, until he reemerged in a little town
in northern Morocco, disguised as a Boras Indian woman. We show his
picture here only in profile, so that the authorities will not be able to track
him down and arrest him.

Randy poses at the Gate of Diocletian at Philae
Temple in Aswan.

Like Moses before him, Randy brings the law to his
people from Mt. Sinai.

Randy met this babe, also known as the goddess Nut,
at the Medinat Habu in Aswan. Can stone and monkey find true love?

The last time we saw Randy was in Athens. He
had a whirlwind courtship with Paula, who proceeded to break his heart by
returning to Atlanta and leaving him high and dry, minus his
"chi".
As we left the city, Randy was hanging desolately from a gazebo at a local park,
inconsolable.