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Wednesday, 5 August 2009

I just got a message about a product that as they used to say in the commercials "kills all known germs" - which appeared on Dragons' Den.

I hardly ever watch Dragons' Den to be honest for two reasons, though it's nowhere near as moronic as Sugarbaby and The Apprentice.

Half the people who have ideas remind me of the constant, wearisome procession of clients I've had over the years who were convinced they had the greatest thing since sliced bread on no available evidence except blind conceit. That is one.

Also there's a dreadful carping bottle blonde I've never seen invest in anything. She looks to me like the token woman stuck in there for reasons of political correctness, in which case you'd think they might have found someone reasonably pleasant. To be honest I wonder if she's ever really made any big money, but there you are. That is two.

But back to swine flu. The message I got said "PROVEN TO KILL SWINE FLU.

Along with MRSA, C-DIF, E-COLI, Salmonella, Listeria, Avian Flu, Athletes foot and all kinds of other infections"

I have already said I hope half the members of the House of Commons get it, starting with Bloato and "Dave" the PR man and all round phony, but see little evidence that any of the buggers would die as a result. No self-respecting disease your go anywhere near them: they are inherently more malign than any flu could be.

But this great panic epitomises the kind of thing we get regularly. Remember the time all the world's computers were going to crash? Even the current economic slump is grossly overdone. If your output went down by 5% would it be the end of the world?

I just got a message about a product that as they used to say in the commercials "kills all known germs" - which appeared on Dragons' Den.

I hardly ever watch Dragons' Den to be honest for two reasons, though it's nowhere near as moronic as Sugarbaby and The Apprentice.

Half the people who have ideas remind me of the constant, wearisome procession of clients I've had over the years who were convinced they had the greatest thing since sliced bread on no available evidence except blind conceit. That is one.

Also there's a dreadful carping bottle blonde I've never seen invest in anything. She looks to me like the token woman stuck in there for reasons of political correctness, in which case you'd think they might have found someone reasonably pleasant. To be honest I wonder if she's ever really made any big money, but there you are. That is two.

But back to swine flu. The message I got said "PROVEN TO KILL SWINE FLU.

Along with MRSA, C-DIF, E-COLI, Salmonella, Listeria, Avian Flu, Athletes foot and all kinds of other infections"

I have already said I hope half the members of the House of Commons get it, starting with Bloato and "Dave" the PR man and all round phony, but see little evidence that any of the buggers would die as a result. No self-respecting disease your go anywhere near them: they are inherently more malign than any flu could be.

But this great panic epitomises the kind of thing we get regularly. Remember the time all the world's computers were going to crash? Even the current economic slump is grossly overdone. If your output went down by 5% would it be the end of the world?

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Drayton Bird Marketing Articles

The man Bird and his sad story

The CIM named Drayton one of 50 people who shaped today’s marketing.
And David Ogilvy said he “knows more about direct marketing than anyone in the world.” But don't blame him for all the crap you get sent.
He published his first novel, “Some rats run faster” when 27. Hardly anyone read this brilliant work as it had virtually no plot. 4 more books followed: “Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing” – out in 17 languages; “Salesletters that sell” & “Marketing Insights and Outrages” and "Direct Marketing for Lawyers".
He's written over 1,000 columns, spoken in 50 countries and worked with many leading brands, incl. Amex, BA, Hargreaves Lansdown, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, P & G, IBM, Unilever and Visa.
In 1977, he and two partners set up Trenear-Harvey, Bird & Watson, sold in l985 to O&M. As Vice-Chairman and Creative Director, he helped O&M Direct become the world's largest DM agency network, and was elected to the worldwide Ogilvy Group board.
He now runs Drayton Bird Associates and has interests in 3 other firms. The ones he never visits do much better.
This blog shows what all that has done to his head.