Discussion (54)¬

Opposites attracts is actually just a saying… There was a proper scientific research done and it was found even though opposite have a stronger first spark from time to time, similar to each other people do have longer marriages and are actually a lot less likely to divorce…

Personally, I think that opposites are more likely to work if they are opposite in a way that they complement each other rather than being opposites in a way that they have a difficult time having fun together due to lack of common interests. Granted, those two are related to each other, but not 100%. Opposites can mean many different things, it can refer to opposite skills, interests and opinions to name a few. Having opposite skills and having opposite opinions could both make a couple be considered opposites, but there’s no reason to think that those two different opposites have identical effects on the sustainability of the relationship.

After setting up two train wrecks, I was not expecting this to close out with legitimately good advice.

It is a silent trainwreck this time, because the trainwreck is introvert :-). The advice itself is good and I do agree that you can have much fun with your girlfriend doing almost any activity together that you both love. But for a first date to get to know someone, sitting opposite each other thinking hard about a game while not talking at all in order to not distract your partner is certainly not the ideal approach.

Personally, I think that opposites are more likely to work if they are opposite in a way that they complement each other rather than being opposites in a way that they have a difficult time having fun together due to lack of common interests. Granted, those two are related to each other, but not 100%. Opposites can mean many different things, it can refer to opposite skills, interests and opinions to name a few. Having opposite skills and having opposite opinions could both make a couple be considered opposites, but there’s no reason to think that those two different opposites have identical effects on the sustainability of the relationship.

“Like attracts like” will be true most of the times. What is unfamiliar and exotic may intrigue you at first, but is not a basis for a relationship. Opposites only attract when they match each other, e.g. one person likes to talk much and the other one is a good listener and doesn’t like to be the center of attention himself. Or one partner is confident, protective and likes to take charge and the other one is insecure and likes a strong shoulder to lean on (strong shoulder meant figuratively, the confident one doesn’t have to be physically stronger and it doesn’t have to be the man, there are a lot of insecure men who like it when their more confident partner takes charge, too).

@ someguy:
While there are insecure men who like their partner to take charge in general women are not attracted to those types of men. It’s difficult to predict how any individual person will behave or respond to, but as a group people are much easier to predict. Women, even the outgoing and confident types, for the most part will not take initiative in their romantic endeavors.

Our esteemed comic artist understood this back in his “Dating tips for girls” strip. Insecure guys are fighting an uphill battle in that regard especially since it’s near impossible to predict what an individual woman will find attractive in a guy (even the woman herself likely wouldn’t be able to articulate what she wants; she’d probably either not have an answer or give an answer that completely contradicts her behavior).

@ Trimutius:
Even “Like attracts like” has its limits, there is such a thing as having too much in common. For example: two people who have opposing political views, but are equally stubborn and steadfast in those views. Those two would basically never get along whenever the topic of politics came up and could very easily interfere with a stable relationship.

But for a first date to get to know someone, sitting opposite each other thinking hard about a game while not talking at all in order to not distract your partner is certainly not the ideal approach.

Then why make it a “date”, with all the fears and expectations that come along for the ride? Far better to have mutual interests that allow you become friends without any pressure or acting. Friends can always morph to romantic partners if there’s mutual interest.

At least to me and my peers, this seems a rather “water is wet” observation. I’m not sure any of us ever “dated”, per se.

Some of those relationships morphed back into friendships, most of the rest eventually became marriages, most approaching 25 years, so the strategy does seem to be viable.

But, as everyone above said, all of these tips are about picking the right girl, under the assumption that there’s a wide selection available. But nothing about how to get to a situation where such a selection is available, or even what to do AFTER picking the girl.

Stories taking place in school get to skim on that prior part, because, gender-segregated schools aside, you’re likely to be around girls your age there. But this just ends up reinforcing the notion that if you haven’t found your life partner by graduation, you’re going to die alone. Heck, even post-school rom-coms reinforce the same notion by having the plot rely on a completely convoluted and act-of-god level unlikely encounter.

So yeah, the real lesson from these 4 strips was: Get hooked before you graduate. If you graduated alone, just go ahead and kill yourself.

With a little creative interpretation I can turn a comic strip that is silly and largely unhelpful (I’m going on the working assumption that it’s just a joke) into something helpful.

1a) Avoid women who make bad partners i.e. the gold digger, the drama queen, the one track mind enthusiast, the obviously crazy
1b) No relationship is better than a bad relationship
2) Avoid women with unrealistic standards
3) Don’t listen to your crotch when your head is telling you something
4) Find something that you’re good at
5) Pick a girl who compliments your personality
Now the nature of this advice is structured such that it’s a good starting point for either gender rather than advice specific to men when searching for romantic partners. Ironically I’d say that Larisa’s advice to girls has more practicality behind it for men than Cloud’s does (be clear with your intentions, the target of your affection may be just as insecure as you, etc.)

Here’s some advice of my own: hold women accountable. Don’t put them on a pedestal thinking that they’re some perfect little angel that can do no wrong. Treat them like the humans that they are and don’t be afraid to call them on bad behavior. Set your boundaries properly and don’t be afraid to enforce them as necessary and within reason. Remember that you lose nothing from walking away from a bad relationship

While the author’s intentions and true feelings on the matter are still somewhat unclear to me I think the best take away is that we’re all human, not that different from each other, and dating is some straight BS.

@ Trimutius:
Even “Like attracts like” has its limits, there is such a thing as having too much in common. For example: two people who have opposing political views, but are equally stubborn and steadfast in those views. Those two would basically never get along whenever the topic of politics came up and could very easily interfere with a stable relationship.

Well being “Like minded” is what important… not stubbornness or steadfastness…

After setting up two train wrecks, I was not expecting this to close out with legitimately good advice.

It is a silent trainwreck this time, because the trainwreck is introvert :-). The advice itself is good and I do agree that you can have much fun with your girlfriend doing almost any activity together that you both love. But for a first date to get to know someone, sitting opposite each other thinking hard about a game while not talking at all in order to not distract your partner is certainly not the ideal approach.

But, as everyone above said, all of these tips are about picking the right girl, under the assumption that there’s a wide selection available. But nothing about how to get to a situation where such a selection is available, or even what to do AFTER picking the girl.

Stories taking place in school get to skim on that prior part, because, gender-segregated schools aside, you’re likely to be around girls your age there. But this just ends up reinforcing the notion that if you haven’t found your life partner by graduation, you’re going to die alone. Heck, even post-school rom-coms reinforce the same notion by having the plot rely on a completely convoluted and act-of-god level unlikely encounter.

So yeah, the real lesson from these 4 strips was: Get hooked before you graduate. If you graduated alone, just go ahead and kill yourself.

But, as everyone above said, all of these tips are about picking the right girl, under the assumption that there’s a wide selection available. But nothing about how to get to a situation where such a selection is available, or even what to do AFTER picking the girl.

Stories taking place in school get to skim on that prior part, because, gender-segregated schools aside, you’re likely to be around girls your age there. But this just ends up reinforcing the notion that if you haven’t found your life partner by graduation, you’re going to die alone. Heck, even post-school rom-coms reinforce the same notion by having the plot rely on a completely convoluted and act-of-god level unlikely encounter.

So yeah, the real lesson from these 4 strips was: Get hooked before you graduate. If you graduated alone, just go ahead and kill yourself.

Sorry for the empty prior post, hit submit by accident.

What I wanted to say: Since Cloud is a schoolboy, he is likely to give dating tips taylored to School boys and revolving around school situations, because those are his peers and his experience. The conclusion you draw – though it is sometimes depicted this way in romcoms because seeing People score a happy relationship easily in an ordinary way would hardly be comedy material – is completely off. In real life, most people don’t end up in a long time relationship or marriage with people they met in high school. Slightly more do end up with their college sweethearts, but guess what, there are still a lot of people who don’t go to college and still have relationships. Good places to meet and get to know people who like the same activities you like would e.g. be clubs for those activities. Looking for an introvert girl who is e.g. into chess or into literature? Try joining a chess club or a book club. Looking for a girl that likes rock music? Go to a rock festival.

In the last panel she says to him, “Excellent move.” Is she referring to his move on the go board or to his move on her?

Probably the latter. I can’t find any sign of a move on the board so his silent sitting at the table and apparent intense concentration on the board indicate that she’s impressed with his serious nature.

The only one I know who plays Go is my brother and he’s a lot better than me. What I’d need is someone roughly on my level (where I win at least 20% and at most 80% of the matches) to play with to get some practice. 🙂
Playing against people that are a lot better is too demotivating, at least for me, when it’s something I do for fun.