"Mitch", the ladies often inquire, "how do you stay in such fantastic shape?"Well, when I'm away at work, I only eat where the superheroes eat. Where else are you going to find nutritious $7 pretzels and body building $10 pretzel dogs?Helpful hint! Don't forget to get the cheese dip to attain that extra cut look!

Amazingly wonderful father (hey, that's ME!) takes his son to the largest gathering of movie stars, TV personalities, pop culture, comics, manga, screenings, free gifts, costumed superheroes and everything else in the WHOLE WIDE FREAKING WORLD!!!90% of his time is spent hunched over a gamenintendo64cubeboxwhatever.KIDS!

Free Hugs at the Comic Con started well, but quickly went downhill, ending with a youngster holding a baseball bat.Next year I lay claim to the "Free Make Out Session" sign!Where did I put my glitter… ?

Ye Olde Photo Album!Don't fuck with me- I was born ready to rumble!Got my fists O'Dynamite all balled up to do some heavy duty damage on yo ass while stylin' in my knitted baby blues pimp daddy threads!I wasn't cryin', I was yellin' to get that damn pillow out from behind me 'cause I wanna be on a bed of jagged rocks. That's what I tough mofo I am!True Dat!

Ye Olde Photo Album!Don't fuck with me- I was born ready to rumble!Got my fists O'Dynamite all balled up to do some heavy duty damage on yo ass while stylin' in my knitted baby blues pimp daddy threads!I wasn't cryin', I was yellin' to get that damn pillow out from behind me 'cause I wanna be on a bed of jagged rocks. That's what I tough mofo I am!True Dat!

Flea Market Finds!Next up, the Astro Mating Wheel!I'll be bringing this to every bar to save a little time, because now I'll be able to know instantly how compatible our zodiac signs are!"What sign are you baby (that's always my first move anyway)?""Why I'm a Leo!"So I just line up Aires with Leo and read the result..."True mates- entertain each other with their bodies. Lots of growls!""Good news sweetness, I'm taking you to bed!""Whoopie! Thanks Mitch, this is my lucky day!!"

Flea Market Finds!Hit the flea market this morning- nothing extraordinary, but a couple fun things.Luv this Glamour Hair Band album from "Tippy Tailz"!These guys do not look good in make-up."Oh really Mitch, what guys DO look good in make-up?!Hey! That's NOT what I meant and you KNOW it!"Calm down Mitch, I was just joking! My, this seems to be a sensitive topic for you!"Wha? You... I didn't... You're mixing me up!