Friday, December 2, 2016

Off the Map: If This Were a Real New York System, It Would Be Called a HOT DOG

After
a completely humdrum experience at Al Forno, Vodka and her friend,
Mezcal, are ready for one thing and one thing only: a hot dog.

Now You're Speaking Our Language

Luckily, the only other dish featured on Providence's Best Thing I Ever
Ate list is the hot wieners from Olneyville New York System, which were
recommended by Guy Fieri on the REGIONAL FAVORITES episode.

New York, Phone Home

Yes, That's Right, Providence. We're Just Here to Eat

Thankfully,
the establishment is our preferred level of "nearly empty" when our
(blessedly more competent Uber driver) drops us off, and we mosey onto
two stools as Vodka asks for "two hot dogs all the way," you know, just
like the locals do.

Despite Vodka's error, he still deigns to place a "wiener" in
front of each of us, piled up with chili, onions, mustard, and celery
salt.

Kudos for the Split Plates

He also provides us each with a pour of their famous "coffee milk"
to wash down the wiener. And less than two minutes later, both our
plates and our glasses are empty.

Is This Coffee Milk Caffeinated? Because We Have to Go to Sleep in Like Ten Minutes

The hot dogs (which
despite being corrected, we insist on calling them) are indeed quite
good. Not one of our personal favorites, but good all the same.

Polished Off in Thirty Seconds or Less

Though
the coffee milk, which is essentially the coffee version of chocolate
milk, is arguably more interesting than the dogs themselves.

Plus, They Inexplicably Gave Us a Bumper Sticker. Perhaps We Can Give It to Our Uber Driver

When
we leave the premises, we pose for a selfie underneath a sign
proclaiming "EAT," which is pretty much our whole reason for coming to
Providence in the first place. It is at this point that a random person
parked on the street steps out of his car to offer to take the picture
for us, an act of goodwill so generous that we momentarily consider
upping the hot wieners' rating to 5 stars.