Pocketknife

Travis: The other day, I think I was at improv class, and I had to open something. I had like a box or something that was taped shut, so I pulled out my pocket knife. And this girl sitting next to me acted like I had just pulled out a gun. She was like “Whoooah! Whooah.” And I’m like—ok, it’s like a folded, maybe, three inches. She’s like “Do you—do you always have that on you?” And I was like, “Yeah, it’s not going to go off in my pocket. It’s totally cool”

Andie: It’s not going to spray you in the eyes.

Travis: Like, it’s not a switchblade. She looked at it like I’d pulled out a stilleto knife that was like a foot long…The number of times in my life that I find it is convenient to have some kind of small blade—I’m not talking about carrying around a machete or anything. But someone is like “Oh, I gotta open this,” or “hey, can you get this packaging open,” or—

Andie: Hey, I’m gonna eat an apple!

Travis: Yeah, where I’m just like, fwhoop fwhoop, there ya go.

Same thing happens to me on a pretty regular basis: evidently, pocketknives are scary