Ready for 2012 with Axe Survival Kit

Some philanthropist say that 2012 is the last year for human being, some say that it's not. As a Catholic and a believer of life, I honestly do not believe that 2012 is our last year, but I guess preparing for the so-called "end of the world" wouldn't be that bad, especially if you are preparing for it in a fun and ecstatic way. And guess what, there's this "Axe Survival Kit" to guide you through it. *wink*

Yesterday, to my surprise, I received a dubious box containing the words "End of the World," "Survival Kit" and "Open in Case of Emergency." And so, as curios as a cat, I immediately opened it and found a bottle of AXE 2012 - The Final Edition together with a survival manual - an End of the World Survival Manual.

I'm nervous to open the manual, but since the graphics on it tickled my mind, I picked it up and read through it. And here's what this survival kit has. Hahaha! Believe me, I dunno when will I'll be ready for these kind of stuff. Hehe.

The manual says that these stuff that I now possess are my keys to my happy survival. And honestly, base from the looks of it, I think I'm gonna be happy with... Only if I have someone to use these on. Hahaha! (Parents, these are kinda Rated PG stuff, so, Parental Guidance is advised.) LOL.

The talks about the first survival item, the rope.

Rope

Rule number (according to manual, again) says that in survival, building a shelter is important. May it be from twigs, humongous leaves or debris, its important to hold it up to keep everything in place, hence you need a good, old fashioned durable rope.

But in this case, seems it is so obvious that this is no old fashioned durable rope, the survival manual wants me to have these to my chance encounters with a hot partner survivor. Hahaha. The manual suggests to use this rope inside my love shack while doing some happy, hands-free team building activities. Hahahaha! Naughty manual, eh? Til you hear about the next one, the fuel.

Fuel

Survival item number 2, is added to create some fire and heat. Yes, fire and heat to fight those dark, dark, cold nights. With the use of fuel and some "logs" or "twigs", the manual suggest to me to create a fire to invite "the partner", like a moth to the flame. Hahaha! But of course, the manual share a twist for those steamy nights. It suggests a massage oil to create a warm welcome for those lonely hot survivors, because as it says, "When all else fails, body heat will help you prevail." *wink-wink.

Moving on, the third survival kit is also a common one, and I'm sure that by the sights of this, there'll be a smirk on your face, the handcuffs. Hehe.

Hand Cuffs

Survival manual states that on the darkest day, it is important to survive with the fittest, and by fittest it means a sexy nurse for tender loving care, a hot policeman for protection and a naughty librarian for education.

I guess, if you have one of those in mind, better be around them when the darkest day arrives. And I believe you know what to do, with them, and with the hand cuffs. Hehe.

Fourth on the list of survival items is a tourniquet.

Tourniquet

The fourth rule in survival says don't bleed to death. not only it is painful, it'll make you cry as well, so the manual suggest to me to have a tourniquet like this. Ask some hot survivor to tie it real tight to the spot where it is needed and once the wound has fully recovered, you and your hot fellow survivor can use the tourniquet for other "more productive purposes." You can use it as a blindfold, maybe? Hehehe.

The last but not the least survival than a man should I have, and I have it now...

AXE 2012 - The Final Edition

Survival rule number 5 lets you do all the work - BE AWESOME. And how will you do it, well, I guess, you just need to spray some Axe 2012 - The Final Edition, to get those hot survivors's attention. With Axe 2012 - The Final Edition's citrus scent, you can rise above the stench of destruction and let the rest of the world catch a whiff.

So, now that we all know how to make the last year of the wold more pleasurable, all you guys need is to rush to your nearest store and avail the Axe 2012 - The Final Edition in order to "survive." Hahaha!

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About the Blogger

Alex de Vera Dizon, currently a full-time Digital Marketing and Communications Officer in one of the largest property developers in Southeast Asia, started writing his online journal back in 2005 where he met different online personalities and established his own community of readers and bloggers. It was in 2009 when he officially launched his own websiteRecycle Bin of a Middle Child.