7 ‘Glee’ Tributes We’d Like To See

Tom Waits

To prepare the cast of Glee for a Tom Waits tribute, everyone will need to spend a couple weeks drinking a tincture of hydrochloric acid and sandpaper. Then a couple little people from the local circus can come in and demolish the piano with sledgehammers. Someone will have to raid the local junkyard for broken accordions and we’re betting that the quest for a swordfishtrombone can be a pretty awesome subplot. Maybe they can do some kind of crossover with lots of guest stars from Carnivale?

James Brown

There’s nothing funny about the Godfather of Soul… except maybe for that video on YouTube where he’s on some morning show all coked out. Anyway, James Brown did more for music every time he pinched a loaf than the cast of Glee will do over their entire “careers,” so maybe they should show some reverence to him. Christmas time is a great time for that, because Christmas originally celebrated the humble birth of James Brown in an Augusta, Georgia manger. He was visited by three wise men who came bearing gifts of relaxer, a crushed blue velvet suit and a cape woven from the moustache hairs of Little Richard.