1. Emmanuel Adebayor knocked a steward unconscious

At least that's what we thought when we read various headlines over the weekend. In reality, of course, he did nothing of the sort. And while Adebayor's goal celebration was moronic and egomaniacal, the fact that he alone has been blamed for the resulting disorder is a reflection of the entirely inappropriate amount of moral power that has been given to the modern football fan. They are allowed to abuse footballers in as disgusting a manner as they please, and yet those players are not permitted to respond in even the most polite of terms.

The envy of supporters has dehumanised footballers, as it does in all areas of celebrity. Just as tabloid gossip columns – and we read them all, every day – revel in and poke fun at celebrity break-ups, as if the subjects are somehow immune to the crushing dejection of heartbreak, so fans seem to think that, just because a footballer earns £xxx,000 per week, they should have the capacity to laugh off hateful chants about incest, or their wife's sexual proclivities, or suggestions that they did not father their children. What absolute horse pucky. If fans give it, they should be able to take it. It's that simple, yet instead they hide risibly under the umbrella of "We pay at the gate, therefore we can do what we want". Yes, because that really applies in other consumer industries.

2. There's life in the BBC's football coverage

With a few admirable exceptions – MOTD2, Jonathan Pearce, Martin O'Neill – the Identikit commentators and closed-shop complacency of the pundits have made the BBC's football coverage a dismal affair over the last few years. Many of us have wanted it to replicate the intelligent, passionate, fearless and unpredictable RTE coverage, one of the joys of which is discussions that frequently descend into majestic slanging matches.

The BBC will never go the whole hog and embrace such anarchic broadcasting, but there were a couple of genuine studio highlights* over the weekend. The first came on Saturday's Final Score programme, when Garth Crooks and Mark Bright went at it over Emmanuel Adebayor's goal celebration. The unjustly maligned Crooks defended Adebayor and, when Bright said that it wasn't in the spirit of the game, snapped back with the sort of gloriously petty response you can only summon when you have completely lost it and no longer care about the consequences: "Was you breaking Andy Linighan's nose with an elbow in the FA Cup final in the spirit of the game?!"

Later, on Match of the Day, Alan Shearer also referred to Adebayor's celebration, saying that "things happen in the heat of the moment". In a flash Gary Lineker, redeeming himself for thousands of smug puns down the years, responded: "What, like kicking someone in the head?" That was in reference to the unfortunate, accidental incident in which Shearer accidentally kicked Neil Lennon in the head. Shearer responded with a nervous "Hang on a minute!" Perhaps he will refuse to appear on Match of the Day until Lineker confirms that, yes, it was indeed an accident. Either way, Auntie showed a bit of leg this weekend. She should try it more often.

* we are relaying these second-hand so the precise quotes might not be correct. But, well, you get the gist

3. Liverpool have a very creditable alternative

Towards the end of last season, as Liverpool stormed to second place, the cult of Gerrard and Torres was such that the other nine players seemed almost irrelevant. Liverpool might as well have played 8-0-2, with everyone else merely on the pitch to serve their unstoppable attacking duo. But there is another way, as they showed during the dismantling of Burnley.

With Javier Mascherano injured, Gerrard played in a central-midfield role, and that allowed five of Liverpool's front six to attack, rather than the usual four. And it allowed the ever-excellent Yossi Benayoun, who offers a wit that is noticeably absent from the team now that Xabi Alonso has gone, to start. He got a hat-trick as Liverpool easily achieved what they struggled to do last season: beat a promoted side at home. Whether Rafael Benítez has the courage to play the same way against better sides remains to be seen.

4. Some very poor teams will avoid relegation this season

Just as you are never too good to go down, so you are never too bad to stay up. If relegation was decided on merit by an independent panel this season, at least five teams would probably drop into the Championship: the three promoted clubs, plus two who look certain to actually go down, Portsmouth and Hull City. This is not particularly a criticism of those teams, just a reflection of the way things are. Before there were four leagues within the Premier League; now there are almighty gaps between those leagues.

Portsmouth are threatening to redefine the word freefall, while Hull's defending in their 4-1 defeat was up there with the worst in top-flight history. "It has been a very tough afternoon," said Phil Brown. "It's going to take a lot of hard work on the training ground because our defending in the second half was unacceptable. There are a lot of new faces and perhaps they don't know what I'm all about yet." Heaven help Hull when they find out.

5. There's life in the Manchester United midfield

Hands up who thought a midfield of Giggs-Anderson-Scholes-Fletcher would not be overrun at White Hart Lane? Liar. As one Red Issue forumista put it, not even Derren Brown would have predicted that quartet. But Sir Alex Ferguson's seemingly unbalanced fusion of technique and dynamism was rewarded by Manchester United's most fluent attacking performance since the 2007-08 season, one that was supported by almost indecent levels of endeavour.

With Dimitar Berbatov and Wayne Rooney looking like a real partnership – one always dropping short, the other working tirelessly off the shoulder of defenders – and Rio Ferdinand returning to defence, United looked a serious team again. It might have been just one of those days when everything clicked, or it might have been a giant finally emerging from their slumber after a typically long lie-in. We will not know that for a while yet, but what we do know is that, in view of Tottenham's sensational start to the season and the criticism of the United midfield after their 2-1 win over Arsenal a fortnight ago, this performance was like the most emphatic conversational putdown.