10 Life Secrets to Educate Your Children About

I feel cheated. I feel like a fourth grade girl at a birthday party where all the other girls are whispering in the corner, playing mean games and trading juicy secrets at my expense.

I feel like I’ve grown out of the slumber parties and games of spin the bottle, yet everyone is still out there playing whisper down the lane and refusing to let me in.

Whether they were trying to protect us or were just too wrapped up in their own misery to warn us of our own, our parents didn’t do the best job of exposing us to the harsh realities of adult life and I feel like I’ve been left out of some pretty important secrets.

Maybe they wanted us to stay as untainted and blissfully unaware for as long as possible, but it really just feels like we were the last to be let in on these little secrets of life.

Did they want us to find out when it’s too late? After the secrets had been manipulated and changed after passing through mouth after mouth?

No, I refuse to hear them when it’s too late. I refuse to hear that I’ve have a “kick me” sign on my back after 20 years. I refuse to let the secrets run the mill without my consent.

Fortunately, for the rest of you, I’ve been let in on a few of the secrets to life. Whether they’ve finally been passed on to me or I learned them myself, I am now in possession of 10 valuable life secrets that will change you.

They are the secrets some people didn’t want you to know, whether for selfish or concerning reasons. But I think you, too, are old enough to hear them now.

10. It doesn’t matter where you go to college

Contrary to what everyone tells you in high school, it doesn’t matter where you go to college. Hell, many times, it doesn’t even matter if you go to college (if you’re smart enough to figure it out on your own), but no one wants to tell you that because that’s not how it works.

Until graduation, everyone leads you to believe that the name you rattle off when people ask where you went to school will lead you different places, paths worthy of your institution’s reputation.

Unfortunately for those who enslaved themselves to four years of mental anguish and insurmountable debt, once you’re in the “real world” all that matters is how well you can bullsh*t your way through.

9. You will be unhappy if you follow your parents’ dream

While it’s a great thing to make your parents happy, it’s an even greater thing to make yourself happy. I know how hard it can be to let your parents down, but letting yourself down is a much heavier load to carry around with you for the rest of your life.

Spending eight years in med school or slaving away for the bar exam isn’t worth the 30 seconds of pride it you will give your parents when they tell their friends what their son or daughter is doing. Do yourself a favor and forget about their dreams for a minute and focus on realizing your own.

8. Sometimes, people are mean for no reason

Your mother may have raised you with the notion that no one is a bitch for no reason, but that’s just another secret she didn’t want to let you in on.

Unfortunately, some people are just mean. They aren’t having a bad day, something terrible didn’t just happen in their family.

They are just evil, sh*tty people who you need to stay away from. We all have demons, but those who let the demons control them are the ones who don’t deserve your time or pity.

7. Being fat isn’t the worst thing in the world

There are worse things people can be than fat. They can be mean, aggressive, conniving and untrustworthy. Do not misjudge people just because they aren’t a size 2.

You will soon realize there are a lot worse people out there than the ones who enjoy a hamburger or Krispy Kreme. Don’t let society’s condemnation of the overweight turn you away from meeting someone with a beautiful soul.

6. You will get zits for the rest of your life

Unfortunately, zits aren’t just something you had to get through in high school. You will get the occasional zit for the rest of your life, even when your face is dried up and withered.

This will be something you have to deal with the rest of your life and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can stop spending thousands of dollars on dermatologist fees and just buy some cover-up.

5. Happiness trumps money, but money does a good job for a while

Contrary to how you viewed yourself in your 20s and 30s, you will most likely not own yachts and mansions on rolling acres.

You will most likely be scraping the barrel, teetering on the edge every month when your landlord comes knocking on your dilapidated door. But if you did it right, you will hopefully be working towards your dream and you will be happy.

If you did it the other way, pursued the career of fame and fortune, you will most likely be awoken at the end of each month on your Egyptian Cotton sheets to the cold knocks of depression and regret. Make sure you are following your bliss, not the 401K.

4. You will not stay this good-looking forever

Looks fade. It’s a truth you don’t want to acknowledge until you’re forced to look at yourself in the mirror one morning and accept that you are not the hot 18-year-old you once knew.

You can spend your days looking back at old high school photographs of your skinny thighs and perfect body or you can get on with your life and realize that the personality and skills you have gained far outweigh the youthful complexion you lost somewhere along the way.

3. Your best friends will change and so will you

Life isn’t “Grease” and you will not always stay together. Your friends from high school, college and even the first few years in your new job will change.

You are growing and moving at speeds unlike ever before and trying to slow down so the rest can catch up is only going to hold you back and create resentment for the people you once loved.

Let those you once loved flourish as they may and if you have the chance to stay close, then take it. But do not mourn the end of every friendship because life is about new friendships and fond memories of the old ones.

2. You may never find the man/woman of your dreams

The idea of settling for the love of your life was once as absurd and ridiculous a notion as 3D printers. But the inevitable has happened and life has progressed to a point at which 3D printers are real and the love of your life is not.

Of course there’s always a chance he or she is still out there, but more than likely, you’ve already realized you must accept the cold, hard truth that there is no perfect person for you and you must learn how to settle for those who could eventually turn into something close enough to the love of your life.

1. There’s always time to travel

You may only have an allotted number of sick days, but that doesn’t mean you have to mold your life around them. Life isn’t about work. Life is about finding your happiness and giving up your bliss for the idea of a stable 9 to 5 is a wasted life.

If all you want to do is travel then take a year off and see the world. Or better yet, find a job that lets you travel the world.

Nothing in this world is out of reach and don’t let anyone or anything keep you from exploring it. The secret to life is to find what makes you happy and let it take you anywhere and everywhere.

About author: Lauren “LMoney” Martin grew up with one goal: to be the first woman engineer. Upon finding out there already were women engineers, and unable to pass Calc 1, she chose to study the beautiful and honorable art of advertising. After advertising proved uninspiring, she attempted a career in acting which was over before she could get on stage. And when she failed at everything else, she decided to become a comedy writer.