Duke is a serious Final Four contender
We just may have kept the Duke Foot Injury from ending our season for the third straight year
Miami is really backing into the tournament phase
So much for those little Tools and their VAUNTED twelve-guard lineup, at least until next Saturday
Still not going to miss Maryland, College Park at all
Just enjoying the ride
I have some gripe or other but will hold it for now

JOKES WRITING THEMSELVES DEPARTMENT: So the towering minds at Bristol have to come up with *something* to keep all those of us college basketball fans with wandering minds in the final week of the regular season from being distracted by . . . Neeba "All-Star Weekend," or Juan Pablo Montoya somehow colliding with a jet dryer truck. So they dispatch none other than all-world great guy Jay Bias on a "four games in four nights tour." And - - get this! Jay will be "playing a different role" for each game. Now that is exciting. Amusingly, word got out that something "extra" was happening in Bloomington for Indiana's Tuesday night showdown against Michigan State, and that a "special guest" would be visiting. Excited Indiana fans got seriously head over heels that Bobby Knight was coming to Assembly Hall. I don't have to tell you what their reactions were when it ended up that the not-so-special visitor was . . . yeah, Bilas. I mean, sure, who doesn't wet their pants with anticipation over a drop-by from Mr. Condescending? ESPN - - really? Really? By the way, after serving in his usual jagoff seat alongside poor McDonough and creepy Raftery (ONIONS!!!!) on Monday night, Bias' other roles will be:

(1) pretending to spend serious time as a litigator at a highly pricey Charlotte law firm (2) selling programs and other "Jay Bias Is So Cool" memorabilia (3) donning a Tool jersey and drooling incoherently on it

So, basically, this is the greatest promotion of all time. Statistics and polls show that easily 4,000,000 people, give or take four million, will be watching Espen this week who would otherwise not be doing so. Just awesome.

DEBBIE DOWNER DEPARTMENT: You know, if there's a wrong opinion to be had, just check out Duke's Overzealous Online Fans (DOOFs) to confirm it. In this case, you'll be happy to know that the team's overtime win over VPI somehow wiped away everything else the squad has accomplished in the past couple of weeks. Of course, the tough game against the Chokeoffs wasn't a surprise to anyone who has paid any attention to that scumbag program over the past five seasons. Gasbag only gets his teams up to play one opponent - - and that's us. So of course they were going to play tough, and of course Duke was going to have tired legs after that ridiculous Swoffjob, and of course Andre Dawkins was going to be trapped in the TeeHee airport, having missed his (and several other people's) flights. You can set your watch by Andre, and without his outside shooting, with fatigue a serious problem, Middle Plumlee still clowning around, and a motivated opponent, Saturday's result was completely predictable. Thankfully, Austin and Seth found that extra gear in overtime, and Tyler Thornton played some amazing defense on Erick Green, and the Blue Devils racked up a nice win. That wasn't the St. John's game, nor even the NCSU game, folks! This win was actually impressive.

"SPECIAL" K DEPARTMENT: Among Krzyzewski's more ridiculous podium pronouncements in recent memory was telling the throng of media thralls that Mason is playing like one of the best big men in the country over the past few games. Jiggawhat? Scoring one point against Florida State might indeed make you a feared legend among the pygmy tribes of Easter Island, but one of the best big men in the country? Probably not. And of course, not one of the bold scribes jotting down this nonsense had the sack to call him on it. Oh, well - - at least he's motivating his kids, instead of taking the Pat Knight Postgame Presser Approach, which I might be tempted to do with Dawkins at this point . . . assuming I could find him.

NOLE LONGER RELEVANT DEPARTMENT: Bye, Florida State. And as for Miami, hey, there's nothing like having the Keystone Kops of the NCAA poking around to get a team all motivated, is there? Luckily, those guys have their own reserved parking spaces at the Conversation Center, right next to Duane Simpkins.

TRAP GAME, AGAIN, DEPARTMENT: Sort of. Actually, Duke can lose this game as long as the Blue Devils plan to defeat the Tools on Saturday - - the Blue Devils would end up with the #1 seed regardless, even if NCCH urinates all over the Turgeonpins, as you'd expect. And some of our more easily distracted players will definitely be looking past this game, while Bzzoffick and his two-man squad will be looking to follow up on an absolutely preposterous basting of BeeCee and a suddenly even-bet-to-be-canned Steve Donahue. But let's not leave anything to chance, and maybe Murrland will give us a nice surprise - - any defeat of the Tools on their part, however unlikely, would hand Duke the overall top seed in the ACC-T regardless of Saturday's outcome IF Duke takes care of business on Tuesday night, because Duke has a better record against Florida State (1-1) than NCCH (0-1) does. It would actually be pretty funny if Swoffie's Stupid Scheduling came back to haunt his precious femme blue - - and deflate the Bristol "Game Day" crew as well. Is Bias even allowed near Cameron anymore? Oh, he'll be way too tired from his cosmic odyssey earlier in the week anyway.

WE NOW PRESENT WHO ARE THESE CLOWNS?

Yeah, I have nada mucho idea, as I have seen them play zactly once and have not been able to bring myself to root for the Dorcs in any manner since the sad passing of Skip Prosser. I also managed to beg off any posting on this here site for the first of the two (!!!) meetings between these two teams, citing volunteer work in the far reaches of the East Coast or something. So let's find out.

Nikita Mescheriakov, 6-8 SR - - the Belarostiff had 12 against us the first time around. His older brother Yegor played for GWU in the late nineties; I actually misremembered his name as Nikita, so you can imagine my confusion when another guy with the same name showed up playing first for Georgetown, then for Weak. Nope! Different first names; just the same stiff DNA. Mescheriakov shoots 43.0% on twos and 20.0% (14-70) on threes, and deals out an even five fouls per 40 minutes of action; he's also not a great rebounder and plays no detectable defense.

Travis McKie, 6-7 SO - - One of two genuine ACC-caliber ballplayers on the squad, McKie shoots it well from everywhere (.468/.734/.367), seizes 7.1 boards a game, hardly ever leaves the floor, and has a nifty knack for getting to the line. As with most players in his size range, the identity of the prospective Duke player assigned to hinder his offensive efforts is less than obvious. Ryan Kelly? I still have whistles ringing in my ears from his one-man foul party against the Greenbergoons, so imagine what *he* must feel like. Michael Gbinije? With Josh Hairston out for this one, presumably with a concussion, as facial lacerations typically do not prevent healthy young men from engaging in athletic activity - - but don't you dare ask Duke SID Bill Belichick for any details - - could Mike actually get in this one and contribute? I'd start him as part of a message to just about everybody, but what do I know. Anyway, McKie scored 16 against us the first time out and is about a 1:3 bet to best that total.

Ty Walker, 7-0 SR - - Oh, THIS guy. It only feels like he was recruited along with Tim Duncan, and there's something about being suspended for a "rules violation" (nonspecified) for the first semester that seems to make a player's career drag on and on and on. Walker has actually been starting occasionally for Bzzkillick, but he's strictly an 18-minute guy out there to grab a few rebounds, block some shots (the one thing he does with aplomb, earning a rejection in the stat book on 13.7% of his defensive possessions), and consume space. Of course, Middle Plumlee can make this guy look like Duncan - - or at least Loren Woods. I'll settle for Tony Woods.

Tony Chennault, 6-2 SO - - a suck-o shooter, a terrible defender, and a competent distributor who nevertheless throws the ball away at a frightening rate. And, my heavens, he's not 6-10, like most ACC point guards this season. Go get him, Tyler.

C.J. Harris, 6-3 JR - - the other ACC-level player. This guy is a serious scoring threat; he's on the floor almost as often as McKie is, and he drives the cup like Miss Daisy; he's been hammered for a whopping 159 FTAs this season (McKie is just behind at 143, but doesn't feature Harris' 84.9% marksmanship from the chalk). For comparison, Rivers has 151 freebie attempts this season and Mason 150, but, yeah, we're not talking about the same stratospheric make rates. Harris also shoots 44.4% from distance and 51.3% from two-point land, making him one of the more efficient backcourt gunners in the country. Happily, though, he's only hit more than three triples once all season, with four against High Point, which is not a bad team to have season highs against, so that towel-snapping sportswriters everywhere can make easy puns out of the achievement. Leave us not ruin their fun. Interesting assignment for Seth Curry, assuming that Bzzdorkik stays with his big lineup. Otherwise, this guy gets Rivers on both ends, I'm sure.

BENCH? Sure! If you say so.

Carson Desrosiers, 7-0 SO - - another big donghead in the mold of Chas McFarland, only without the skill and fluid grace. Also, he's some sort of Eurotype, even though his name makes me think he should have gone to Southern Cal and played for Mr. Personality, Kevin O'Neill, who is only failing to win the current Dukies.com front page poll because none of us has ever met him. Anyway, he's a seven-footer who shoots .432/.585/.346 (9-26). He blocks a lot of shots, and grabs a host of defensive boards, but I don't really need to see a doosh like this cleaning up against Mason. Aren't you glad Miles is around, by the way?

Chase Fischer, 6-3 FR - - soulless three-point gunner who never fouls, never gets to the line, doesn't defend, and hopes that shooting 32.8% (39-119) from range will make up for it. Play some defense on this guy and he'll be hard to find.

Daniel Green, 6-9 FR - - Reed-skinny frontcourt player who does one thing well - - he captures defensive rebounds. Other than that, he fouls at a rate of 7.1 whistles per 40 minutes, which is impressive, but not as eye-popping as his 36.0% shooting from the field, coupled with a 57.1% mark at the stripe in 28 attempts.

BOTTOM LINE THIS FOR ME, PLEASE: I wanted to give Steve Donahue a chance at Boston College, but he should actually be kicked to the curb just for letting this WFU team score 85 points in 40 minutes. In seven of the Deeks' eight games before that (with the lone exception coming against the death-ray-eyes defense of Mark Gottfried's goodbye-waving NCSU "squad"), Weak Florist failed to surpass 60 points. So you can imagine the unexpected workers' comp claim that the LJVMC scoreboard operator found himself confronting after a carpal tunnel-inducing night against that legendary Iggle containment. Now, you'd like to think that Duke would cement its emerging defensive reputation (as a decent team without the ball) and pound these fools, but stranger things have happened. Weak will of course be motivated for this game, the only one they take seriously on their entire schedule from year to year, and there will be some karma hanging in the air as Duke seeks to win every matchup on the road in the ACC for the first time since Jason Williams was a freshman. You know, McKie and Harris are not going to score more than about 45-48 points combined, so howzabout a little lockdown on the lesser lights, and it seems like we can bus back to Durham with a nice win. Heh heh heh heh heh? Right, guys?

So we'll go team-by-team. Unsurprisingly, Boston College has never gone undefeated on the road in the ACC. Now (sorry, ClemsonGuest), I don't think we have the check this given the Chapel Hill Nonsense, but yeah, Clemson has never done it either. Oh, heck, since this information doesn't seem to be in wide circulation, I'm going to make this a front page post.

Posted by: Matt

Date: 2/29/2012 4:40:45 PM

Ah, now I'm discovering the problem. Our intrepid ACC scribes can't find out the answer because the ACC's useless media guide, which contains no fewer than 19 pages tracking the AP rankings of each conference member on a week-by-week basis since 1953 (um - - who cares?), doesn't contain the needed information. Of course not.

Posted by: Matt

Date: 2/29/2012 4:36:51 PM

Thanks, LondonDukie and TRT. Amazingly, this morning I got a mailer from Duke higher-up Mike Cragg, containing an article by Durham Herald Sun beat writer Steve Wiseman, claiming that this was Duke's THIRD undefeated road team. ARGH!!!! How hard is is to get this right????? Only in college basketball would you see this kind of statistical ineptitude.

So I'll look it up myself. Geez.

Posted by: T. Randall Taylor

Date: 2/29/2012 2:27:18 PM

I'm pretty sure State went undefeated for the season in 73, but were ineligible for the post season due to recruiting infractions. Or something. And South Carolina was unbeaten in ACC play a few years before that.

There are probably more. That bit about Duke being the only one never seemed right to me.

Posted by: London Dukie

Date: 2/29/2012 7:25:22 AM

Matt, I seem to recall UNC going 14-0 in conference in the 86/87 season (the Terrapins took an oh-fer the other way that year too). That was my first year at Duke and so first year of being an ACC fan, so there may well have been earlier ones (at work so not real time to check the Oracle of Google). Or was the broadcast only talking about undefeated road performances since the conference expanded past 8 teams?

Posted by: Matt

Date: 2/28/2012 11:34:51 PM

Only against a pitiful program like Wake can you surrender a 19-2 run in the "fourth quarter" and still win comfortably. Those were some weird, weird offensive lineups out there, for the most part. Of course Gbinije missed a wide open three (which went halfway down before popping out), so he was pulled and never seen again.

Cook was good. Kelly was great on offense, abysmal on defense, surrendering a Bootsy to Cherrykov. Rivers was oddly passive in the last ten minutes - - maybe he was tired after this ridiculous season-closing schedule.

Dawkins a total no-show for the second straight game. Mason wasn't even on the floor at the end, and not just because of the FTs (which he was actually hitting - - if he's not careful he may go over 50%), but because Miles is simply a better ball player and less of a bonehead right now.

Weird game, about par for the course in Winston in the sure-to-be-short Bzkillick Epoch. No, JW, he will not be resurrecting the WFU program.

Sounded like there were about 5,000 people there tops.

ESPN couldn't decide whether or not that was the fourth time Duke has gone undefeated on the road in the ACC, or the fourth time anyone has, and it's been Duke all four times. I wish they ncould have gotten that straight - - it seems to me as though some Tool team probably ran the table in the ACC road wars. But maybe not. Don't ask Carter Blackburn.

Posted by: tom

Date: 2/28/2012 11:14:28 PM

May be a good thing to not take it for granted when you have a big lead. But I do wish they kept the foot on the throats there. Stupid turnovers that got the crowd into it. RK played well but didn't need to jack up that shot when trying to hold onto the ball. Quinn played good also except for that stupid foul at the end. Don't mean to nitpick so much. Seth and Austin both quietly scored double figures. Mason still looks lost but 7 for 8 from free throws and got the and 1. Miles all around game was good. And yes Mark, it is quiet in Winston Salem. Thanks for the preview Matt. Good night guys.

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 10:58:19 PM

Night folks. Back to work.

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 10:57:35 PM

???? so white he doesn't know Tupac Shakur is dead.

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 10:55:11 PM

I hope UNC is visited by the Ghost of Dante Calabria on Saturday

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 10:53:59 PM

Williams possessed by the ghost of Bias ("that really looked like a charge")???? possessed by ghost of Patrick ("rebound by Plumlee" *after* he just said no Plumlees in game)

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 10:52:14 PM

Brutal final 10 minutes

Posted by: Mark Buckner

Date: 2/28/2012 10:48:13 PM

My, my, my...

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 10:40:39 PM

Great finish by Mason

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 10:39:01 PM

So damn sloppy - none of our turnovers are forced

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 10:38:33 PM

Wheels. Off.

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 10:36:57 PM

Wake up Devils

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 10:29:55 PM

Great foul shooting Mason

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 10:22:09 PM

Kelly must be imagining the Chinese Jr Nat'l team. Mase has yet to cotton to the fact that someone tied his shoelaces together.

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 10:20:42 PM

Kelly!!!

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 10:18:45 PM

Great to see Quinn knock down a 3

Posted by: CDG

Date: 2/28/2012 10:17:28 PM

Kelly is playing with some serious fire!

Posted by: CDG

Date: 2/28/2012 10:14:29 PM

No kidding G - I almost wrote the same thing. Miles also shouldn't take a mid-range jumper like that and totally brick it.

Posted by: CDG

Date: 2/28/2012 10:13:01 PM

Ugh, are they really talking about crotch-puncher???

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 10:10:33 PM

Indeed CDG - he must finish the FTs, though

Posted by: CDG

Date: 2/28/2012 10:10:18 PM

Ha! Realized I wrote "Miles" earlier and meant "Mase". Whoops. Too many Plumlees...

Posted by: CDG

Date: 2/28/2012 10:08:20 PM

Damn! Rivers!

Posted by: CDG

Date: 2/28/2012 10:07:57 PM

Jason Williams is not a bad color guy. I've enjoyed his desk work over the years, but I think this is the first game I've seen with him on it. Very balanced, very engaged, and much more knowledgeable than some other ESPNators.

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 10:06:10 PM

Nice news story: Lance Thomas receives NBA contract (Hornets) for the rest of the 2012 season

Wow..."senior night" and it's THIS dead in Winston-Salem? Well...it is Winston-Salem, I answered my own question.

One successful half away from possibly being undefeated on the road is impressive. Congrats to this squad.

Posted by: CDG

Date: 2/28/2012 9:45:09 PM

Why is the last shot a 3?

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 9:43:47 PM

Gotta tighten up our perimeter D

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 9:42:12 PM

Lotsa energy from Quinn.

Posted by: CDG

Date: 2/28/2012 9:41:19 PM

Way to take the charge Miles!

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 9:37:44 PM

Bootsy for Nikita

Posted by: CDG

Date: 2/28/2012 9:36:50 PM

Hiya boys! Sorry I'm late to the party, again. I've had the game on in the background while I fulfill some overdue volunteer duties, and I had to check the volume several times it is so quiet.

The whole game seems quiet to me, actually. Can we shut down the Stiff though or do we plan to let him Bootsy (would he qualify?)

Matt - excellent post tonight. I can't believe that we have the chance to go undefeated on the road this season and that this will be the first time since JWill was a freshman??? What a stat given some of the teams we've had since then... strange we'd get it in a year like this, but not a bad accomplishment even in a "down" ACC year.

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 9:35:25 PM

Nice trey Dawk

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 9:33:44 PM

How the hell is Nikita lighting us up so bad?

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 9:32:47 PM

Sloppy possessions by the Devils

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 9:28:30 PM

I don't know if it's the mic'ing, but the crowd seems *really* dead.

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 9:25:40 PM

Psst! Defenders: Mescheriakov is going to SPIN.

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 9:23:49 PM

Enter Mike G

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 9:19:47 PM

Great shooting by Ryan. Also - Quinn playing well off the pine

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 9:18:16 PM

Fats - I have the JW game. He is a work in progress, at best. I wish him well, though

Posted by: Mark Buckner

Date: 2/28/2012 9:16:39 PM

I remember Duke when our road colors were BLUE.

Posted by: Serious G

Date: 2/28/2012 9:15:00 PM

Mason has no confidence with his inside play right now - not a good sign

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 9:14:33 PM

Eesh. great block squandered by Mase.

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 9:13:05 PM

Dunno if you guys are getting the J. Williams-??? feed, but it's *really* weird. They've both run through the same spiel twice, as though they're Stepford announcers accidentally repeating a script. (Not like Dick Vitale babbling.)

Whoops! Vine, you're right. Good - - I was surprised that even Krzyzewski would go that far.

Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston

Date: 2/28/2012 6:07:24 PM

I hadn't seen that Bad Lip-Read Rick Perry, and am in agreement with T. Randall, so thanks. For some reason, the gag is far funnier with him.

Along the same lines: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-eqpJYGtvk

Posted by: T. Randall Taylor

Date: 2/28/2012 5:33:24 PM

Did anyone else notice during the last game that Rivers is a seven time ACC Rookie of the Year? That has to be the absolutely double secret most unbreakable record of all time.

Posted by: T. Randall Taylor

Date: 2/28/2012 4:38:13 PM

Holy Cow that Perry send-up was funny.

Posted by: the naked vine

Date: 2/28/2012 2:54:48 PM

Another nice job, Matt -- with one nitpick. You called out Grandpa Grecian for his lavish praise of the aptly-named Plumlee. You'd have been 100% on target if K had actually been referring to Mason with those comments. He was referring to Miles and his recent Unseldian bursts. He was still engaging in some hyperbole, but 61 reebs in five games is a pretty nice stretch.