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Monday, May 25, 2015

Comics Rant: New X-Men #115

Well I’m back, Tash Moore here and I finally picked up the next issue of the Morrison/Quitely X-Men run. You know how Morrison works here gang. He starts off strong and pulls you in with a really witty tale that gets you hook, line and sinker. Then you also know that he gets paid via Marvel/DC then hauls ass to the bank and just sends “plots”. Hey, if Bendis can pull it off I’m shit sure Morrison can do it as well.

So Prof. X is in his bed after almost shooting himself so his mind couldn’t be taken over by the mysterious force. Prof. X knows that a mind is a powerful thing to waste. I mean, his mind can enslave millions of people, so yeah, better keep that shit under wraps Charles. Back in Latin America, Cyclops and Wolverine and thee guy they rescued last issue (Ugly John for those of you keeping count at home.) get attacked by the wild Sentinels sent at them by Cassandra Nova and Dr. Trask. The Plane that they are flying is a super expensive piece of equipment and Cyclops doesn’t want the wild sentinels to use it to buy more Sentinels that could kill more mutants. Which is clearly the total opposite of what the X-Men are all about.

So Cyclops hit’s the eject button and all three hit the skies. Wolverine complains about the cost of the craft and Cyclops is all like “Insurance will handle it, bro?” If only Cyclops. Oh, hey, remember Dr. Trask? Well now he’s dead. Because Cassandra Nova was copying his DNA so she could take complete control of the wild Sentinels. So that kind of makes Trask totally useless and kill able. I think I only wrote kill able because I was thinking about that dumbass story where Wolverine was…yeah, yeah, you know where I was going with that joke. He’s kill able! Zing.

So the wild Sentinels are attacking our trio and Ugly John and Wolverine takes a bunch of blasts that knock them out and Cyclops get blown away and his ruby quartz visor is broken. He’s blind now. I wonder what would happen if Scott just happened to look into a mirror at this point. Answers that only Cyclops knows for sure. Shave, maybe? I don’t know. But Wolverine and Ugly John are taken to the bad guy hide out of Ms. Nova.

Wolverine and Ugly John are tied to torture cases that are also the heads of the wild Sentinels. Blasting them with a flame that burns both of them, searing their flesh. I mean, we all know Wolverine will be okay, but other than having three faces is really all that Ugly John can do. Poor goober. So as they are being tortured, Cyclops come blasting in like John Wayne and brings down the torture rack. (TM Lex Luger.) Ms. Nova flees and Cyclops pulls a mercy killing and blast Ugly John to the next world. So Cyclops is a stone cold killer? Who’d have thunk it? Grant Morrison? I guess.

So Wolverine and Cyclops thinks they’ve won the day but then we switch to Genosha, which has since been taken over by Magneto and is a haven for Mutants. Turns out Ms. Nova wanted the wild Sentinels to attack and kill all the mutants on Genosha. Poor bastards didn’t even see it coming. Using Cerebra, Prof. X can see all the mutant lives taken and that’s where we leave you. Great issue along with great action. This issue of X-Men was right on the money. It felt like a modern day Claremont and Byrne which is high praise indeed. Let’s see if the momentum can be sustained. (probably not, but it’ll be fun to travel back to one of Marvel’s creative boom periods.)