I think your first pitch is much clearer. The second is confusing and I start to glaze over after “only voice he can trust”. That phrase doesn’t make sense without context, and neither does the rest that follows it.

A paranoid genius must sacrifice his only friend in order to receive the training needed to master his magic. #Adult #Fantasy ​Too vague. You have room for more details. Is the sacrifice a blood ritual to conjure an otherworldly spirit who will train him? Is his magic elemental-based, or perhaps triggered by spilled blood? Are we dealing with blood magic? Life magic? Something entirely different?

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After the girl of his dreams discovers Red's secret, he must choose between the only voice he can trust and the training needed to master his ability to control the energy of creation. #Adult #Fantasy ​Also too vague. "Girl of his dreams is a cliché. I can't tell if his secret is a voice in his head, or his magical ability. I don't know what you mean by controlling the energy of creation.