Sunday, February 15, 2009

It's Friday again...

So... went to see the new Friday the 13th remake yesterday (yes, on Valentine's day - what can I say, as a horror fan I know where my heart lies).

I can't say it really offered any new takes on the franchise. I wasn't jumping up and down afterwards with all the joy and happiness that a really good re-make (are there any?) could bring. But it was fairly good.If you'd never seen the original.It brought nothing new to the table and really just felt like your standard, everyday kids get killed in the woods kind of film.What it did have was a typical cast.

Your token black guy, token asian stoner, a sex-crazed 'go off on their own and get killed' couple, a sleazy but hot 'I'll take whoever's left' kind of chick, the hard-core rich guy, and his everyday-nice-girl-next-door girlfriend. Add Jared Padalecki (Supernatural) as your 'dude in search of his lost sister' and you have your quintessential horror movie cast. Like I said, utterly stereotypical, no surprises. Padalecki is the glue that holds it together, though. Most everyone else is phoning it in.

Guys will no doubt describe this movie in one way. The pre-opening credits romp with the naked hot chick with fake boobs, and the remainder of the film with two naked hot chicks with real boobs (one of whom is water-skiing nude. yeah, seriously). I know, I know. You can't have a horror movie without gratuitious nudity. Whatever.

But getting down to the story (?) - First things first. Re-hash the storyline where they pull an Anne Boleyn with mommy dearest. No real need to update it, just off with the head. I liked the original better.Then have some kids (pre-opening credits, like I said) hiking in the famous Crystal Lake area, looking for some weed. For some reason, someone (maybe the head Crystal Lake Rasta, I don't know) has planted a shit-load of mary jane out in the middle of nowhere and our first gang of giggling oversexed teens are searching for it when it gets dark and they set up camp for an evening of what else? Drinking, sex, and campfire tales of deformed youngins who want revenge for their mother's death. Right.So after all their debauchery, they meet up with Jason of course.

Cut to our new cast of partying, sex-driven twenty-somethings. They are headed to the expensive lake-side home of hard-core rich dude (because he is driving the pre-requisite Cadillac Escalade) for a weekend of what else? Sex, drugs, alcohol, and more sex.

They stop for supplies at a local store and meet Clay (Padalecki) who is looking for his lost sister (one of the aforementioned weed-seeking partiers). He and rich-boy don't exactly hit it off, but rich-boy's girlfriend certainly gives Clay a second (and third and fourth) look.

So after some drinking games and naked water-skiing, Jason finally shows up to start dispatching people in a very timely manner. With no truly interesting kills, he just keeps hacking through the cast like any other random nutjob in the woods would.One thing I did like - the moment he finally ditches the sack over the head and finds his iconic hockey mask. Nice.

Jason in his sack over the head era, pre-hockey mask.And here he has moved on to the more famous visage we're all used to...And he's doing what he does best.

Like I said, nothing new here.And some weird stuff, too - things that didn't make much sense.For some reason (spoiler here), Jason has kept Clay's sister all chained up in a series of underground tunnels under his old house. Ok, first of all, I think we can all recall that in the original part 2 when we are first introduced to Jason, he was found to be living in a ramshackle old shed of sorts, with random pieces of timber and metal put together. A real piece of crap.Now he has a house? And the underground tunnels? Did he carve through the layers of dirt and clay to form those cavernous passageways? And for what purpose? And let's not forget, it's lakeside property, people! Could there really be tunnels as such, that close to the water? Wouldn't they fill up with water like a mineshaft would? Huh?And why the hell would he feel the need to keep the chick alive? What was she eating for six weeks? Was he raping her? Didn't seem to be. Why would he not just kill her? Seriously.

Those things didn't really interfere with my watching or enjoying the film.But it would have been infinitely more impressive to be someone who had never, in fact, seen ANY of the original friday films - not someone who has seen all ten.The plots of the first four movies were smooshed together to make this one, so I'm wondering - what now? You know damn well the powers that be are in their offices, waving the magic wand for sequels - especially after the $19 million + it made on opening day, and the projected $50 mil opening weekend. Horror fans always come out in droves the first weekend out, and this appears to be no different.

In comparing this remake against the Zombie "re-imagining" of Halloween a few years back, in all honesty I think I'd take the Halloween flick. Say what you may about Zombie's directorial skills, but at least he brought something new to the franchise. By telling a bit about Michael's background, we at least got a peek into a new chapter of the story. I can't say much for everything that followed after he escaped from prison, as it was basically nothing we hadn't seen, but that first hour - I liked it alot.

But this Friday - rehashed and revamped with no real reason to explain why except to make a few bucks.I know there are a few remakes in the works for other iconic horror movies, and if I have to sit through a rehash of 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' or 'Hellraiser' like this one, I'm not sure I'll be there opening weekend to throw support. I mean, Elm Street without Robert Englund? Yikes.

3 comments:

I had to answer your question about keepin' the girl alive. It was because she reminded him of his mother. Maybe you missed the part at the beginning where her boyfriend finds the locket with her mothers picture in it and says how much she looks like her and she should keep it.

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Shocks are so much better absorbed with the knees bent...

We Wrote That:

*Christine Hadden is the creator, editor, and head writer of the Rondo-nominated blog Fascination with Fear and has been an obsessed horror fan for longer than many of her readers have been alive. She can overlook movie plot holes in exchange for style and atmosphere, rejects both the 3D and found footage phenomenons, values high gore content when done right, always prefers practical effects over CGI, and has an undying love of vampires. She considers Norman Bates her homeboy and claims Jaws as her favorite film. She has written for Fangoria and Paracinema magazines, MoviePilot, and Eli Roth's horror app The Crypt. She enjoys Kentucky bourbon and red, red wine. But not together.

Contributing Writer

*Marie Robinson is an aspiring folklore expert, published writer, and obvious old soul from St. Louis, MO. She considers Roman Polanski one of her favorite directors, The Sentinel among the scariest of films she's seen, and has read both Algernon Blackwood and M.R. James - making her wise beyond her years. In her spare time, she enjoys wandering through misty cemeteries, seeking knowledge and proof of paranormal activity, and prepping her next frightening short story. Besides Fascination with Fear, she contributes to Destroy the Brain and has written for Eli Roth's horror app: The Crypt.