The Jewish Ethicist - Business with Friends

Even a friendly agreement should be carefully elaborated.

Q. A friend suggested I join him in a business deal. When I suggested a contract, he explained that we're good friends and a hand-shake is enough. Should I be suspicious?

A. You don't have to be suspicious of your friend, but you should certainly be prudent.

It's true that our sages tell us, "Always consider others as bandits, yet treat everyone with respect as Rabban Gamliel did." A stranger once sought hospitality at the house of the leading sage Rabban Gamliel; Rabban Gamliel took him in and treated him with honor, but also took away the ladder to the guest's attic room to prevent him from burgling the house. But as the passage goes on to explain, this applies mainly to a stranger. (1) Regarding a friend, it is more appropriate to judge him favorably, as we learn from the verse, "Judge your fellow with righteousness." (Leviticus 19:15.) While the plain meaning is an admonition to the judge to adjudicate righteously, our sages also learned from this verse that we should judge others favorably. (2)

However, our everyday enemies of carelessness, forgetfulness, and misunderstanding are enemies at least as great as deliberate fraud, and perhaps greater. In a few months, you will remember that he intended one investment, and he will remember another. You will recall that you were to get fifty percent, but he will be sure he promised you only forty. If you take your case to court, or even if you decide to make it non-adversarial and go to an arbitrator or mediator, the person will have nothing to go on.

The insight that even honest people are in need of carefully documented agreements is emphasized in the following Talmudic passage:

Rav Yehuda said in the name of Rav: Anyone who has spare money and lends it without witnesses, transgresses the prohibition "Don't put a stumbling block before the blind". Reish Lakish said, he brings misfortune on himself, as it is written (Psalms 31:18?) "Silence befall lips that speak untruth, who speak against the righteous". The rabbis said to Rav Ashi, "[The sage] Ravina fulfills all the stipulations the rabbis required. [Rav Ashi] sent him a message just before Shabbat came in, "Send me ten zuz [a sum of money], for I just found an opportunity to buy a piece of land. [Ravina] sent back, bring witnesses and write a deed. He sent to him, even me?! He sent back, you above all, for one who is absorbed in study comes to forget and brings misfortune on himself.

Rashi explains that the "stumbling block before the blind" is that the borrower may be tempted to deny the loan; "misfortune on himself" is that people will suspect him, the lender, of making a false claim when he tries to recover the loan in court. (3)

Ravina certainly did not suspect Rav Ashi of trying to cheat him. Even so, he points out that even the most righteous people can sometimes be absent minded, and insisted that even among the most trustworthy friends, all agreements should be clearly elaborated and carefully documented.

About the Author

Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir is Research Director at the Business Ethics Center of Jerusalem (www.besr.org). He studied at Harvard, received a PhD in Economics from MIT, and rabbinic ordination from the Israeli Chief Rabbinate. Prior to moving to Israel, he worked at the Council of Economic Advisers in the Reagan administration. Rabbi Dr. Meir is also a Senior Lecturer in Economics at the Jerusalem College of Technology and has published several articles on business, economics and Jewish law. He is the author of the two-volume, "Meaning in Mitzvot (Feldheim), and his Aish.com columns form the basis of the "Jewish Ethicist" book (ktav.com).

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 3

(3)
Feigele,
September 18, 2008 3:05 PM

Peace of Mind!

If that person gets offended by your asking them to sign an agreement, then that person is not a friend and can certainly not be trusted. If you are honest, you know that to sign an agreement will not interfere with neither your friendship nor your business. It is only the proper way to make business with someone. It will only reinforced both your positions and leave you free of suspicions. You will be able to better work together on a clean slate. # 1 has experienced what is today currently typical. Friends or family doing business together should always sign an agreement to avoid later confusion and mishaps. This is today’s world and no one should ignore its laws and consequences!

(2)
Susan,
August 21, 2008 1:50 AM

Yes, I agree with the column. Because one is doing business with a friend it may be enough to just write what is agreed upon and have both parties sign off on it. If one is dealing with friends one may not need a lawyer, just a clear statement of what is being done and what is expected in the future.

(1)
Beverly Kurtin,
August 18, 2008 10:37 AM

A contract...

A handshake AND a contract make for good partnerships. I once had a friend who wanted to split commissions on a handshake, I drew up a contract and passed it by my lawyer. She refused to sign it and was insulted that I didn't trust her. Later I discovered she had done this with other associates and cheated each and every one of them. Fortunately, in Texas, an oral agreement even without a witness is a contract, but a written contract is the only intelligent way to go.

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I was born with a neuromuscular disease known as Spinal Muscular Atrophy and have been confined to a wheelchair my entire life. Unfortunately my sister and I were raised without any religious instruction or guidance. My father wasn't Jewish and although my mother is, she openly claims to be an atheist. The "good news" is that both my sister and myself - independent of each other and at different times in our lives - realized that we are Jewish and chose to live a Jewish life.

Because of my disability, I'm not always able to attend services on Shabbat, but I always light candles, pray from a Siddur and read the weekly Torah portion. I would like to know whether, considering my situation, if using a computer is allowed during the Sabbath? I found the complete Bible online and since my computer is voice-activated I don't have to struggle to turn pages or continuously ask for assistance.

Thank you to everyone at Aish.com for making it possible for myself and so many others to learn about being Jewish and grow in the most important part of our lives.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you so much for your encouraging words and for sharing your inspiring story.

God gives each of us a set of challenges. To those more capable of conquering difficulties, He gave bigger challenges. A challenge from God is a sign that He cares about us and has confidence in our ability to become great.

It sounds like you're doing great!

As for using the computer on Shabbat, that is prohibited. A foundation of Judaism is that we need to respect God's wishes, even if we think that doing otherwise is "for a good reason." Consider this story:

A king calls in his trusted minister and says: "I have an important mission for you to perform. Go to the neighboring kingdom and meet in the palace with their leaders. But remember one thing - under no circumstances must you remove your shirt during this meeting. Now go and do as I say."

The minister sets off on his merry way and soon arrives at the neighboring kingdom. There he heads straight for the palace where he meets with the King. In the midst of their discussion, he sees some of the king's officers pointing and laughing at him.

"Why are you laughing?" asks the visiting minister.

"Because we've never seen someone with such a pronounced hunchback as yourself," they say.

"What are you talking about? I'm not a hunchback!"

"Of course you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"We'll bet you one million dollars that you are!"

"Fine - I'll gladly take your bet."

"Okay, so take off your shirt and prove it."

At which point the minister remembers the parting words of the king... "under no circumstances must you remove your shirt during the meeting." Yet, the minister reasons, a million dollars would certainly bring added wealth to the king's coffers. I know I'm not a hunchback, so I'll surely win the bet. Of course, under these circumstances the king would approve...

The minister removes his shirt and proudly displays his perfect posture. With pride in his achievement, he holds out his hand, into which is placed a check for one million dollars.

The minister can barely contain his excitement. He quickly ends the meeting and runs back to give the wonderful news to his king. "I earned you a million dollars!" exclaims the minister. "It was easy. I only had to remove my shirt to prove that I wasn't a hunchback."

"You did what?!" shouts the king. "But I told you specifically not to remove your shirt. I trusted that you'd follow instructions, and so I bet the other king $10 million dollars that he couldn't get you to remove your shirt!"

The Torah tells us "Do not add or subtract from the mitzvahs." (Deut. 4:2) Jewish law is a precise metaphysical science. Consider a great work of art. Would you consider adding a few notes to a Bach fugue, or some brushstrokes to a Rembrandt portrait?!

Perfection, by definition, cannot be improved upon. Altering Torah law is an unacceptable implication that God is lacking.

The verse in Psalms 19:8 declares: "Torat Hashem Temimah" - the Torah of God is complete. For just as adding one wire to a transistor radio means it no longer can pick up reception, so too we mustn't tinker with Jewish law. The mitzvahs of God are perfect.

May the Almighty give you strength to continue your growth in Judaism.

In 1315, King Louis X of France called back the Jews who had been expelled a few decades earlier by King Louis IX. This marked a theme in Jewish-French life: expulsions and subsequent invitations to return. The French monarchy was trying to establish their land as the "new Jerusalem," and to fulfill this mission attempted several crusades to Israel. In 1615, King Louis XIII ordered that Christians were forbidden to speak with Jews, upon penalty of death. Eventually, in 1683, King Louis XIV expelled the Jews from the colony of Martinique.

Focus on what you do want. Make your goal explicit. “My goal is to increase my moments of joy.” This way, every single moment of joy is a successful moment.

Celebrate each moment of joy. Be grateful every time you experience joy.

Having this goal will place your attention on joy. Instead of feeling bad when you are not joyful, you will experience positive feelings about experiencing more joy.

Each moment of joy in your entire life is experienced one moment at a time. You can’t have more than one moment of joy in any given moment, but you can increase the number of joyful moments. How? By focusing on it.

There is no person on earth so righteous, who does only good and does not sin (Ecclesiastes 7:20).

Reading the suggestions for ridding oneself of character defects, someone might say, "These are all very helpful for someone who has character defects, but I do not see anything about myself that is defective."

In the above-cited verse, Solomon states what we should all know: no one is perfect. People who cannot easily find imperfections within themselves must have a perception so grossly distorted that they may not even be aware of major defects. By analogy, if a person cannot hear anything, it is not that the whole world has become absolutely silent, but that he or she has lost all sense of hearing and may thus not be able to hear even the loudest thunder.

In his monumental work, Duties of the Heart, Rabbeinu Bachaye quotes a wise man who told his disciples, "If you do not find defects within yourself, I am afraid you have the greatest defect of all: vanity." In other words, people who see everything from an "I am great/right" perspective will of course believe that they do no wrong.

When people can see no faults in themselves, it is generally because they feel so inadequate that the awareness of any personal defects would be devastating. Ironically, vanity is a defense against low self-esteem. If we accept ourselves as fallible human beings and also have a sense of self-worth, we can become even better than we are.

Today I shall...

be aware that if I do not find things within myself to correct, it may be because I am threatened by such discoveries.

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