Your “Tomorrow Might Not Be Here For You” Thursday Evening Open Thread

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

Signing Joe Haden five minutes after his release pretty much cinched the deal.

Animal rights groups have started a change.org petition to try & force FOX to drop Michael Vick from its broadcast team.

It already has 75000 signatures.

In comparison the petition from mental-health professionals to demand Trump resign due to his “obvious” mental health condition only has 61000 signatures.

The “fuck off, losers” from FOX Sports head Eric Shanks is phrased thusly:

“Over the last 10 or 11 years, not only has he paid his debt to society, but he’s done everything a person who has made a terrible mistake like that can do. We felt it was the right person at the right time for us,” Shanks told USA Today.

Reports out of Seattle have the Seahawks looking for trade offers for players like Jeremy Lane and Jermaine Kearse.

The Browns appear interested in Kearse, who has a base salary of $2.2 million, and need someone for DeShone Kizer to throw at.

Game Preview: Rams at Packers

In a case of two teams on vastly different trajectories, the SBNation blogs for these teams tell the true story.

Beyond the usual game previews, Turf Show Times leads with a story on their 2018 Rams mock draft. They also highly tout the return of Eric Dickerson to the fold, and are still wondering if & when Aaron Donald will PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! end his holdout. In short, I think these folks will be happy with 5-11. Tonight’s moral victory of staying close will guide them into Week-1.

Over at the Acme Packing Company, they are looking at bubble players in the few spots actually open for starting competition. They rave in “Cheese Curds” about the signing Wednesday of former 49er Ahmad Brooks, and marvel at how Aaron Rodgers said lots of words but actually very little in his ESPN interview. They are looking at the Seahawks already, and I don’t think starters will see much more than one series, and only because they are playing at home. If this game were in LA, Aaron would be dressed in streets & texting his Baywatch ladyfriend.

The only interesting thing on the site is a discussion of something called the “Regenokine process”, which Dok Zymm will elaborate on in the comments. (PLEASE!) In sum, it’s where “anti-inflammatory factors are removed from the patient’s blood, manipulated, and then reinjected into the painful areas,” according to the Stem Cell Institute. To me, it sounds like something that would get Lance Armstrong back into & then immediately kicked out of the Tour de France again.

Over at Silver and Black Pride, the sadly named future Vegas Raiders site, surprising little on Marshawn Lynch at this late date. A couple of stories about Derek Carr, Matt Stafford & salary, and the usual falderal about roster moves prior to Opening Day. Also, there’s signs of the impending move’s acceptance and monetization, with the promotion for sale of this shirt:

And the advertising is just as sad:

No matter where life takes you, you never forget where you came from. Rep the one and only original ‘Nation’ from where it all began with the ‘Oakland: Birthplace of a Nation’ T-shirt.

Whether you’re from Oakland or elsewhere, if you rep the Silver & Black, you’re all on the same side. You’re all part of the same Nation.

But there is a touching short article about Sebastian Janikowski, who is entering his 18th year and still sports an 80% field goal average.

Game Preview: Word Association division

For the games not broadcast on NFL Network, I thought I’d try and draw comparisons to everyday objects & emotions, to help us better understand the trajectory these teams are looking to take this upcoming season, based on how their second- and third-stringers will look tonight.

EAGLES AT JETS – green shit

JAGUARS AT FALCONS – southern fried shit

BENGALS AT COLTS – runny, lumpy shit

LIONS AT BILLS – polluted shit

STEELERS AT PANTHERS – interesting shit

GIANTS AT PATRIOTS – the Jimmy Garoppoo-poo show

REDSKINS AT BUCCANEERS – diseased shit

DOLPHINS AT VIKINGS – fishy shit

RAVENS AT SAINTS – elite shit

BROWNS AT BEARS – tricking the new foreign-exchange kid at school into eating chocolate ex-lax

Related

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

Sadly we do. Our natives have been treated so poorly fo so long that there is apathy to it all. The Canadian government is just starting to make reparations for residential schools which were abhorrent and that was so long ago. Towns like Thunder Bay are very segregated and very racist. This country is too big and underpopulated for an uprising to happen. It does not compare to what is happening currently in the US, but it reverberates up here.

I think they wanted to protect the Lee statue because they wanted to fuck him! Too bad he’s on a horse and can’t sit on their faces! With all that copper oxidation, their faces would look like Idi Amin after getting Legionnaire’s Disease!

Well, Mrs Cola is exhausted and looks spent. I worked all day at the mail farm, had to go to weed dr, then return something at IKEA, came home, grabbed Decilitre, told her to go rest, got deci to nap, smoked a bowl and am watching something that resembles football.

Got to put in work as I should be away this weekend at the LaboUr day game in Regina.

These NFL Network “send what you can” bumpers are pretty effective, although there might be uproar if the Falcons snatch those “Atlanta Falcons: Super Bowl LI Champs!” shirts away from those needy Hondurans.

2

August 31, 2017 6:56 pm

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I can imagine an El Salvadorian emigrating to the United States becoming a Bills fan based upon the early 90s dynasty.

“The dude is a human highlight machine. And since we’ve blackballed any written #content, it only makes sense to bring on a guy like Vick to anchor our homepage, which is basically just a minefield of Chevrolet ‘Real* People**, Not*** Actors****’ ads.”

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