March 2, 2008

The rat did not disturb me. I can only think somebody's kitty cat was having a nice meal and had enough. This is no more troubling than the rest of nature. But please don't take it back to your dorm room for cooking in the popcorn popper.

The bulb on the other hand... do you see that hole in the glass? I was 5 feet away from it when it exploded behind my head. It sounded like a gun shot, lit up the room like a lightning bolt, and I had no idea what was going on for a terrifying fraction of a second until I turned around and saw the light fixture smoking.

By the way, where do you buy halogen bulbs around here -- esp. unusual ones? I know what I'd do in Madison, but this is the sort of errand that is hard to figure out in NYC. The hardware stores are odd, crowded little places.

Well sadly there used to be an amazing lighting store on Canal Street, but it went the way of most of the useful stores that lined that street- out of business, to make way for yet another down market counterfeit-perfume-and-pashmina emporium.

I'd suggest this place, it's great but, like the best specialty stores, odd and crowded.

I hate to risk spoiling a New York hardware store bonding moment for you good folks but back where I come from we have universities, seats of great learning -- where women (and a few unnecessary men) go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts -- and with no more brains than you have.... But! They have one thing you might not have! A Google!

Even better. We have links. Lots of links. Links pointing to pages and pages of swarthy olive-skinned counter[people], if that's what you're into.

Disease-free links. Unambiguously gendered links. Organic free-range links. Links that would never even THINK of stalking fair-haired Professoras and trying to put their bulbs into sockets in which they don't belong. And links that, frankly, just don't have the nerve to ask, " 'ey, YOU! Are you clickin' on me?"

Shy unassuming links just busy doing their jobs and quiety living their linky lives.

No, but if you give a link a nice slow neck rub, draw the link a sudsy warm bath, and serve up some browned baby-back ribs with a glass of Merlot, she just might let you take a look at what's on her laptop.