‘Unforgettable’: a deliciously awful film for the ages

Updated 2:51 pm, Thursday, April 20, 2017

“Unforgettable,” a purported drama about a scorned woman who tries to destroy her ex-husband’s fiancee, is a perversely entertaining showcase of deliciously awful acting, memorably putrid lines and laugh-out-loud set pieces. Whether intended or not, it’s an instant camp classic.

Rosario Dawson, who deserves a medal for keeping a straight face, plays Julia, who after an abusive marriage has finally found a mate in David, the dimwitted man of her dreams (Geoff Stults, who doesn’t have a character to play). But we know Julia is in trouble — big trouble — when we meet Tessa (Katherine Heigl, sublimely atrocious), whose vanity table looks like a Maybelline factory. Tessa wants her old husband back, for reasons that escape us, and she will stop at nothing to make that happen.

For this tour de farce, Heigl is dolled up like a blond version of Morticia Addams, and Tessa even wears a shroud-like vestment in her final battle scene with Julia. Throughout the film, Heigl channels Joan Crawford in “Mommie Dearest” and Alex Forrest in “Fatal Attraction,” two movies that have clearly influenced “Unforgettable.”

With scenery-chewing gusto that’s nonsensical but never boring, Heigl mines one-dimensional depths at every turn, and there are guffaws aplenty as she schemes to make Julia’s life worse than hell. Though some might worry that this alleged exploration of female empowerment could set back the dignity of women by 20 years or so, fear not: The proceedings are too ludicrous to be taken seriously.

There are some incredible moments, like when Tessa’s mother (Cheryl Ladd, exquisitely bad) pays a visit and chastises Tessa for looking tired, though no one could tell what’s going on under Tessa’s seven layers of makeup. Also notable: a montage of Tessa getting off online, juxtaposed with Julia’s restroom romp with David, all to an over-the-top score. And the hysterically funny bits where Tessa and Julia eat lunch and talk sex at a Mexican restaurant. Then there’s that little fight on the stairs. Ouch. Words simply can’t do these scenes justice.

And, of course, there’s the operatic showdown between Julia and Tessa at the end, complete with a fire iron and a sharp knife. It’s too bad they couldn’t work in the rabbit from “Fatal Attraction” and the hangers from “Mommie Dearest.”

We cannot be sure of what director Denise Di Novi was trying to do here, but one thing is fairly certain: Drag queens from around the world will eagerly await their chance to play these roles, whether onstage or at midnight movie screenings. “Unforgettable” may have a generic title, and it may be a train wreck, but it’s a watchable train wreck.