A mostly uncensored version of my daily life of being a SAHM and having two young sons and a senile toy poodle.
Some days, I barely survive. Other days, I'm freaking awesome.
Yoy is my husband's nickname, so naturally, I'm Mrs. Yoy.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Magic of Macy's (their slogan, not mine)

Tonight we picked Mr. Yoy up from work for a family dinner. I wasn't aware of the incoming monsoon, so we were limited to places with covered parking. Hello, Cumberland Mall. More specifically, hello Jason's Deli (yum!).

After dinner we walked back through Macy's to the parking deck. Mr. Yoy was browsing the men's section and was debating on buying some new Lacoste shirts. This man cannot get enough Lacoste shirts. I should take a picture of the Yoy closet. It is amazing.

Our initial strategy had been to push Little E in the umbrella stroller and let Big E walk. Once we hit the clothes racks in Macy's I was regretting this decision.

I could hear Big E giggling and running, but I could not see that little guy. My mother alarm was on red alert. Most likely, no one wants this kid, but what if there is some child predator shopping for cologne tonight?

Mr. Yoy was paying for his shirts and Big E came shooting out of a rack of clothes. In the middle of his shirt was a circle of blood, about the size of a penny.

What in the heck?

Are you bleeding?

Were you impaled by a hanger?

I quickly tried to find the blood source. No luck there. I tell Big E not to touch anything.

Yeah, right.

He launched himself down the next aisle of clothes, this time Polo.

Please, please, please, please do not touch anything. That stuff is EXPENSIVE. I'm having flashbacks to when we went in that Buckhead boutique.

Yes, Mr. Yoy, your bill comes to $6,320. Thank goodness we are having a sale! (says the imaginary Macy's employee after Big E bloodies up half the Polo department).

We make it out of Macy's without ruining any merchandise and with both of our kids in tow.

During his bath, I gave Big E the once over. I still couldn't figure out what was bleeding. Hopefully, it is his blood and not some random blood he encountered in Macy's.

Some things are better left to the unknown.

This was the first, and probably last time, Big E will wear this t-shirt. Thanks a lot blood and chocolate fro-yo.