Boys Becoming Men

The Six Most Fabulous, Most Epic Bar Mitzvah Dances Ever (VIDEO)

Burlesque dancers. Production numbers. Glitter. Sam Horowitz’s bar mitzvah dance had everything. But how does it rank among these sometimes epic, sometimes cringeworthy dances?

Becoming a man has never been this fabulous. Young Sam Horowitz came of age last fall with a bar mitzvah that raises the bar for anyone planning to dazzle friends and family with an entrance dance.

He announced his transition to manhood with a fully staged burlesque number. It was everything.

It began with a troop of professional dancers performing a routine to the Christina Aguilera song “Show Me How You Burlesque” from the seminal classic film Burlesque. Then Horowitz descended from the ceiling as gigantic letters spelling out his name S-A-M loom behind him on the set, eventually joining the performers for an impeccably choreographed dance to Jennifer Lopez’s track “Dance Again.” According to his mother, Horowitz was inspired by a Cheetah Girls concert he attended at age 7.

All of this is to say that, if I had a bar mitzvah today, it would probably look exactly like Sam Horowitz’s.

Still, Horowitz faces stiff competition when it comes to becoming a man in the grandest fashion. Here's some of the most impressive ... and most cringeworthy.

Michael Jackson Bar Mitzvah

Shawn Goldberg did his best Michael Jackson impersonation at his 1984 bar mitzvah. As it turns out, Goldberg’s best Michael Jackson impersonation is tantamount to, like, becoming Michael Jackson. Seriously, this kid can dance.

Vogue Bar Mitzvah Dance

Back in 1992, Shaun Sperling vogued his way to manhood. He also debuted what may be the fiercest Madonna screen-print button-up shirt that’s ever been designed. How it is not mass-produced right now is one of life’s greatest mysteries. Also one of its greatest injustices. (Fast-forward 20 years, and all of young Shaun’s dreams came true when Madonna handed him the mic for part of the “Like a Prayer” chorus at a 2012 concert.)

Mother-Son Bar Mitzvah Dance

Nothing says “I’m my own man now” like doing a choreographed hip-hop dance with your mother ... while wearing what appears to an extra costume from the local high-school production of Guys and Dolls.

Mother-Father-Son Bar Mitzvah Dance

Not to be outdone, this young chap enlisted his mom and dad for a cringe-inducing choreographed dance routine set to a different, still wildly inappropriate hip-hop song.

Drake's Bar Mitzvah Dance

No 13-year-old has ever had as much swagger as Drake, then simply Aubrey Graham, at his bar mitzvah.