Thursday, June 25, 2009

Which of course is a paraphrase I stole from Lewis Grizzard who wrote, “Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good myself.”

I don’t know what that means. I was never a Jackson fan, and truth be known, I have never been a “fan” of anyone. Life beat such nonsense out of me at an early age and I have always had a great disregard of anyone who would scream and swoon over any mortal, but entertainers, and I include sports stars and politicians among them… well, swooning over them I find especially stupid. Most of them can do one thing very well, but that’s the end of it, although they may, or may not be, nice people.

Not that I haven’t met a few. I met Senator Packwood on a flight out of Portland. To the best of my memory he was gracious, friendly and didn’t try to grope any of the female flight crew. But I confess I slept through part of the flight and may have missed the fireworks.

I also met Jimmy Carter on a flight out of Portland to Denver where he changed to a United Express flight to Aspen for some conference or the other. The weather was terrible in Denver and I remember I was concerned over his safety.

I met Doris Day on a flight out of LAX. She was as sweet in person as she was on the screen. Class and quality counts.

I met Rodney Dangerfield in the Hilton at Vegas and felt vaguely insulted that he didn’t insult me.

There were several others of lessor fame.

I had a good friend who was the spitting image of Charlie Rich. This was back in the day when Charlie was huge. We were having a drink or two one night in a club of semi-ill repute when this lady, from a table of about 6 ladies, came up and asked for his autograph. My friend carefully explained who he was and the lady went away looking oh so sad.

A few minutes later he went to the john, so I naturally went over to the ladies and explained that Charlie was just trying to relax and we appreciated them respecting his privacy. You can guess what happened when he came back.

He signed about 40 autographs before we left….

I mean, what are friends for if not to insert some fun in your life??

I don’t know what that means either….

But Michael Jackson is dead and I actually feel fine. All my demons have long since rested. I think his were on his shoulders when he passed.

I took out a luxury car last week, just to drive that automotive beauty. The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained the seats blew warm air to your butt in the in the winter and blew cool air to your butt in the summer heat. I stated the car must be a republican car.

He asked why I thought it was a republican car and I explained if it were a democratic car the seats would blow smoke up your ass.

The average arctic temperature is still not above (take your pick) 32°F 0°C 273.15°K–this the latest date in fifty years of record keeping that this has happened. Usually it is beginning to level off now and if it does so, it will stay near freezing on average in the arctic leading to still less melting than last summer which saw a 9% increase in arctic ice than in 2007.