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Transitions: where new and old meet

Transitions are interesting moments in life... we prepare to leave a known (but not necessarily better) situation for a new unknown one. Wrapped all together is an opportunity to forge a better future - but then why do we often fear transitions? This is one of the questions that psychologists have grappled with for decades - During the Leadership Development programmes we run, we asked parents of disabled kids how they fared with transitions... here are some of their answers:

Transcript

Joanne: I think it all
began with individualized funding, Its been made possible. We’ve been using
individualized funding for over seven years and gradually we have built up the
confidence in networks and we’ve had (time to plan), time to dream. – Which I
think it’s probably one of the big issues with family with children with
young…. People that get so overwhelmed.

Lawrence: For those
who are out there… in similar
cases like my family or starting their journey… I think there are a lot of
potential and opportunities to look at. Do just (you know) give up in respect
to time.

Philipa: The outcome
of the navigation for me was it just helped me moved forward. I was very very
nervous about Samarra starting school, worried about different scenarios and
navigation really helped me transition from my feet worrying about her going to
school (to attending school) and thriving now. So I guess as time goes on there
will be other hurdles along the way, but yeah but this one was very very
positive and am very very pleased that the navigation helped me and sort of
make that step.

Sue: Katie doesn’t
receive a full funding as part of the contribution the government provides to
individualized funding and so we’ve had to be resourceful and innovative and
looking at the different ways in which Katie can live well and live safely, and
so we leave half our gaps between when a person comes into Katie’s home to
support her and halve our gap before the next person arrives. So that in anyone
part of the day for one and a half to two hours where Kate is unsupported. Now
there are some very real risks associated with that; the planned risks, the calculated
risks – so far nothings happened and what Katie demonstrated to us that she is
perfectly happy and enjoys having her own home where there’s no one in there
with her. And she is quite capable of getting on and doing what she needs to do
and (you know) looking after herself spending time doing what she enjoys doing.

Andi: Very difficult,
so having an invitation where someone just treats you with kindness and they
open their arms and welcome you in when you are just confused. It’s just the
best feeling to have someone saying it's okay “It’s okay we can help you, and
what questions do you have? We can help you with everything you need”which is whatPlumtree did.

Sam and Stephen: What
I learnt in the process was that its okay to ask for help and to be a bit
boldy? Asking for help. One of the carers doesn’t turn up. You know its
normally okay, (you know) just shrugged my shoulders and we’d go perhaps go for
a few weeks, no no, a couple of weeks like that or but the navigator made us
aware that we must you know always follow up and make sure we have help.

Phillipa: This week
she had athletics and she loves running and loves being outside and she
participated and came fourth in the running race, and she just loved it and she
just loves being with the other children, her social skills have improved so
much since she has started school…. Umm yeah.. so yeah…Its been pretty cool.

Joanne: We’ve actually
had the space to say what do we want and we didn’t actually focus on what
resources that we had, we focused on what does Jack need, what do we need.

Jennifer: The people
that worked with whom have always had high goals for her looking towards what
would happen when she leaves school identifying her strengths and just steering
her towards the areas of her life that could be more meaningful as you grow
older, so as a result of that even when while she was still at school, she was
trained in the library, computing, shelving the books and just all the things
that go with running the school library, so some of her jobs at the moment are
in the local primary schools, she works in several primary schools and she is
very much loved by the children. Yeah she can run the library without any other
adult there.

Phillipa: I would just
say, give it a go…. You don’t know what is going to happen until you start, and
until you start… you are always going to be worried. So I think just try it,
you can always pull them out of school if it is not working. Umm yeah, just
have a go.

Lawrence: You would
say it is a very challenging experience and a very fulfilling experience and
for a family to look at if you do not feel that you have the “know how” or you
do not have the connections… Just take one step at a time and be brave. I used
to meet a different family by attending the workshops seminar and then
connecting with people and I used to mention to them that “you are very brave”
and you know, you got to be bold and brave, every step you take – please do not
assume that you will 100% achieve it but you can fall down many times, you fall
down ten times and get up one time and I think that is a huge big success you
know, so over the years you will be getting better and better and then you will
be surprised by the number of people wanting to help you, who are surrounding
in your area or in your community and they will be most willing to help. – Just
look at my case you know: I come here on a very minority perspective, but when
you sort of not say no, you don’t want to take that in account… you just part
and parcel of the whole landscape in your community, you know… all you have to
do is be brave and ask… you can.

Kahu: [shows her ear] Ear….
To listen inside… in a “hearing” and that is a “Rongo”(in maori translation). Thank you.