Birthday sex. That sex that can only happen to you one day a year. Like a beautiful sunrise on the Mediterranean or the smell of a new car, birthday sex is a thing of ephemeral beauty. It can also be sloppy and drunk. Today is Sto’s birthday sex day and as a tribute to a great man it is fitting to display some of his most noted anthems from the past years. It is hoped that by knowing these songs you may get to know Sto better in a sense. Enter the door that leads to his world…

Elephant Man is one of Sto’s favourite dancehall artists of all time. He is one of Walmer’s and you can tell it by the amount of times we have written about him. Try it. Look up all the times if you don’t believe us. Did you do it? Good. Now you know. This song is like a shitty club in Pickering or Mississauga song but it still is awesome. Sometimes those shitty clubs are the best time ever. In fact, it is rare that we have had a bad time at any of them. No motherfuckin pretensions. Just a bunch of drunk people looking to fuck and have fun. Maybe they are looking for birthday sex.

This one is another Sto favourite and is one of Crookers’ best they ever made. If you listen to this, the Salmon Dance remix, the Dirty Basement remix and the Gatas Gatas Gatas remix you have heard all the best of Crookers. This is another Sto favourite of Crookers. We talk about Crookers a lot on here even though we shouldn’t because if you have heard their new song with Kardinal Offishal you would know that right now they have chosen a shitty path. PS: Big Money Comin’ is also a great song they did. Look it up. Go to school.

We are not sure if this is one of Sto’s favourites but he better not have a problem with having his name attached to one of the best dancehall tracks of all time. If you don’t know this song and you say you like dancehall then you should feel insecure right now. You need to take that bass out of your voice son.

This is what Sto would call a “christmas song”. From what we understand that means the song has a joyous feeling to it. Obviously the lyrics don’t count because this is about here we go, beat that ho. What is amazing about this song is it uses the music from the show Jeopardy to talk about beating that ho. We know that when you watch Jeopardy and you here the music you are thinking of beating a ho. It just the thing that happens in a person’s mind when they here it. It’s normal. You’re normal.

If you want to hear some other Sto classics check out this and this and this and go to this:

Yeah, everybody’s talking about Major Lazer this and Major Lazer that. Everyone is looking forward to it coming out. Everyone is like “Ooohh! Aaaahh! I can’t wait to hear what Diplo and Switch and every awesome dancehall artist sounds like!” Well fuck it, so did we but we were gonna pretend like we didn’t. We were gonna stand above the fray. We were gonna look at the hype in the face and punch it in the mouth. That’s what we do at Walmer Convenience. Well this song has been around for a while and yes, it fucking rocks and yes, the album will rock. We will play it a lot. Here are some remixes for your stank asses:

Mission:

The Walmer Convenience Blog is not out there to promote copyright infringement and presents the music posted here in order to encourage readers to go out and purchase music from of the featured artists. We recommend http://www.apple.com/itunes/ and http://www.amazon.com/ as good places to purchase music. If you have any questions or comments please contact us: walmer.convenience @ gmail.com