When I was younger I didn’t really know what it would be like to fall in love and get married. I never really had a strong example of a happily married couple, I just saw people living together; making it work. So as I got a bit older I didn’t really know how to recognize what I was supposed to be feeling when I would date people. I always questioned my relationships, is this it? Is this how it feels? Does love take this much work?? I didn’t know if I was convincing myself that I was in love or if feeling a sense of ‘settling’ was normal. I didn’t know if it was normal that I never really thought I could ever feel 100% comfortable being me, all the way, just me, with another person.

I decided one day I was going to stop worrying about finding love or forcing love, I was going to move to California to focus on my photography career and forget about dating for awhile. After about two weeks of living in Huntington Beach, one morning after a party I received a message on Myspace that simply read “congratulations on your looks”. That was it… it was from a pretty cute guy, but I didn’t know who he was, I took it as an insult and assumed he was making fun of me. Maybe he saw me somewhere & thought I seemed stuck up (which has happened in the past because I’ve always been a bit shy and it’s sometimes perceived the wrong way).
Two weeks later my roommate forced (FORCED) me to walk down the street a few houses to meet her friend, five minutes later I had a permanent smile across my face looking at the guy that had messaged me that insult a while back… just listening to this cute, sweet, outgoing guy that apparently was my new neighbor (we moved down the street from each other from different states, both on very short notice, on the exact same day). He asked if I had plans for Saturday because he had an extra ticket for a Gavin Degraw show (no, he really hadn’t purchased the tickets yet).

That date changed my life and I knew it that exact night… it didn’t take weeks, months or years to realize it, I knew that night that something was different. Josh was so fun and sweet with me, he showed me how much he loved me and how much he wanted to be with me every single day. This didn’t take any forcing or convincing, I was completely comfortable with being me (a little too much in some ways!) and I knew I wanted to marry him. Four months in Josh proposed, seven months in we were married and 20 days ago we hit our 4 year anniversary (we were moving at the time so my ‘happy anniversary’ post is a little late!).
I don’t think many people have gotten to see the sweet, sincere, soft side of Josh that I see every day… (he kind of saves that for his mom, his wife and his puppy Kayla) but it’s a side that I always hoped a husband could have. Everyone before him always told me that that was a fairy-tale and that that guy doesn’t exist.
I love you so much Josh, before you life seemed too boring and too long. You’ve made me believe in myself and helped me grow so much more than I ever thought I could. You’re the epitome of what a husband should be and I’m so grateful that you chose me! I’ll never stop loving you & I’ll never take you for granted!