How to Have That Talk ... (About ED and Sexual Dysfunction)

ED isn’t just your problem, and your partner needs to know it’s not their fault.

It’s not just happening to you. That’s one of the most important things to realize if you’ve begun to experience erectile dysfunction (ED). The result of ED impacts both you and your sexual partner.

You’re probably frustrated by what’s going on, but there are no golden statues given out in this category. That’s because no matter how well you think you’re acting as if it’s no big deal – it’s not just your deal. It’s time to talk about what’s going on.

The blame game

It’s simple human nature to look for somebody to blame, but in this case, neither person bears responsibility. If you’re a man experiencing ED, you need to understand that this is not your fault. It’s usually not the result of something you did or did not do.

Likewise, your sexual partner needs to hear – from you – that this is not their fault, either. They might be thinking there’s a problem with the relationship, when the truth is that there’s a problem only with your penis (or the network of blood vessels and set of hormones that enable it to become erect). The problem, by the way, is experienced by “approximately 10 percent of men per decade of life (i.e., 50 percent of men in their 50s),” with symptoms growing more severe as you age.

It’s not fair to assume that your sexual partner will just figure it out. And, it’s quite possible that they may come to the wrong conclusion. This is why it’s extremely important to talk about what’s going on.

What and when

There are so many euphemisms used for ED. Skip them. You’re better off describing exactly what’s going on, as this is not the time to be misunderstood.

Speaking of what’s going on, the time to discuss it is not in bed, just after you’ve both experienced the results of ED. This is more of a health-related issue than a sex-related issue. Choose a time when you’re both relaxed and in a conversational mood. Tell your sexual partner about your ED.

Don’t be afraid to talk about the details if they express interest. Remember that this is affecting them, too. Be prepared to talk about how you feel, too. While it’s true that ED is often a physical issue, it’s also frustrating and upsetting. Share how you feel. You may discover this helps your partner a great deal – as they may have been wondering if they were the cause of your frustration.

After the talk

ED is not the end of the road, it’s a change in direction. Discussing ED is certainly not going to solve the problem, but it paves the way for approaching it. And once you’ve gained the support of your partner, it’s a big relief.

You’ll also likely find that the pressure to perform doesn’t weigh so heavily on you after you have the talk with your sexual partner. Besides, there are plenty of ways to have fun and enjoy each other. You may discover that lowering the psychological pressure helps you put ED into perspective, and in some cases, may effectively treat it. Yes, sex is very important to the health of most successful relationships – but what’s healthy about feeling bad about the inability to engage in healthy sex?

See a medical professional

Once you and your partner have come to psychological and emotional terms with what’s going on – and that it’s ED and not relationship problems – it’s time to see a doctor. It’s important for you to determine if your ED is age-related, or if it’s because of a specific, underlying medical condition.

Sometimes ED can be caused by medications you take for other health issues. Your doctor is going to ask you some probing questions. It’s in your best interests to answer them truthfully and in detail, in much the same way you had the talk with your sexual partner.

Questions about your alcohol intake, your exercise regimen, or even the extra weight you’re carrying around relate to your ED. You might want to consider bringing along your partner. Remember, this is affecting both of you.

More than medication

The first thing that comes to mind when you start to experience ED is that it’s time to start taking those little pills. It’s an option, but you may discover after meeting with your doctor that you’re better off spending money on a gym membership or a treadmill. Medication is not always the answer.

Even if it turns out to be age-related ED, there are alternatives to those little pills. Not only do they have well-known unpleasant side-effects, medicine for ED tends to ruin those spur-of-the-moment opportunities for sex. If you’re looking for a non-pharmaceutical, longer-lasting option, you should explore Low-Intensity Extracorporeal Shockwave Therapy (LI-ESWT).

This non-invasive procedure uses sound therapy to increase blood flow to targeted areas of the body. Recent scientific studies show that about 60% of men with ED who have undergone LI-ESWT treatment benefitted from the therapy.

This new and highly effective approach to ED is being spearheaded in the US by what’s known as the GAINSWave® Therapy protocol. Your physician will apply an intervention that’s backed by more than 40 clinical studies— some of which have shown that it’s also beneficial for the sexual performance of men who aren’t experiencing ED.

The procedure is performed in less than 30 minutes during an office visit, and your full course of treatment typically takes anywhere from 6 to 12 sessions. Best of all, GAINSWave® Therapy addresses the root causes of erectile dysfunction, rather than merely treating the symptoms. Growth factors are released, vessel-blocking plaques are broken up, and new blood vessels are created – which means that it targets the source of the problem, rather than simply addressing the symptoms with injections or pills.

So, go ahead and have that talk. It’s the big first step. Then look at your options, keeping in mind that now they include more than just a little blue pill.