Now that realy cool and funy and something that I agree about. :cool guy:
Joe can you please put more commercials because if I want I would buy the game but I cannot because were I live so can you put some more commercials.

Final Commercial - Shinkenyugi - 3.98 MBThe sad end to Segata Sanshiro. Sega is discussing the Dreamcast when an evil terrorist attacks!
Segata's last words are "Sega Saturn SHIRO!" (Play Sega Saturn!), even as the Dreamcast is coming out.
This is the best version of the commercial I could get. No higher quality ones exist that I know of.

Segata ownz! Definitely beyond classic stuff like "Where's the Beef?" People in the US would have started crusades against Sega if they saw Segata murdering a non-Saturn user in a TV commercial, though. I hate political correctness.

Warning! This game causes carpel tunnel syndrome during the last boss! Tekken is back and better than ever with it's 5th installment (or 6th, if you count Tag Tournament). I'm not sure what Tag Tournament was all about, and I don't really care. With it comes the famous Tekken quirks, such as a button for each of your limbs (except that one, you perv) and extremely unbalanced characters. But overall this is a worthy game. Let's take a deeper look, for phuck's sake!

The blood in this game is transparent and it glows like a ghost.

Graphics: 9/10
The graphics have been upgraded to freakin' awesome. I'd say this looks as good as Dead or Alive 3 for the Xbox, maybe even a bit better. You've got huge characters with tons of polygons, lots of costumes, amazing looking stages (look at the nighttime dandilion stage for a fantastic example) and 60 frames per second, solid. Progressive scan is supported as is widescreen. Unfortunately the digitized video is not widescreen, and neither are any of the 2D graphics such as the illustrations, HUD, etc. To appreciate how good the graphics are, go to the Arcade History section and play some Tekken 1, 2, and 3. Then come back and play some Tekken 5 and be amazed. None of the arcade classics support progressive scan or widescreen. The Devil Within minigame thingymabob supports 480p, but no widescreen, and generally it looks pretty simple.

Each character has an opening story. They are illustrated quite nicely, like above.

Sound: 7/10
The sound is a mixed bag. Great voices and some great music here and there. But some of the sounds and music are suspect. When some of your kicks land, it sounds more like a hollow can being lightly patted by your hand than anything. And the music in the outer space stage is HORRIBLE! Yes, there is actually a stage that takes place in outer space... I'm not sure how the participants get up there. Must be a huge budget for the tournament. There is also a musical selection in what appears to be an indoor scrapyard with cars hanging down from chains with the crowd constantly going "Woot woot woot woot!" in time with the music. This gets annoying after exactly 8.6 seconds (I timed it). Then the MUTE button must be pressed. The music is mostly techno, but there is nothing outstanding here in any fashion.

The Devil Within minigame is almost exactly like Sega's underrated Virtua Quest.
But people will enjoy it because it has Tekken characters. People are stupid.

Gameplay: 8/10
Well, it's Tekken. They say that they removed a whole bunch o' stuff from Tekken 4, which I also have. To be quite honest, I have no idea what has been removed. I notice zero difference in the gameplay. Oh well, good riddance to whatever was removed. But once again we get horribly unbalanced fighters. The names of the characters are fairly drab and unmemorable, but not as dull as SNK fighting game character names. I beat the game with each and every character there is available, including all of the unlockables. There is the giant sometimes white guy, sometimes black guy Marduke (I think that was his name) who has an incredibly difficult time damaging any female opponent. There is Steve Ballmar who cannot use his legs and can only throw punches. Never try to play as him, as he really sucks. There is Yoshimitsu who has a sword but can't use it, even though all of humanity is apparently on the line. I have no idea why humanity would depend on the outcome of an underground 1-on-1 fighting game. You've got the wrestler with a heart of gold and a head transplant gone horribly wrong called King. Then there is Mr. Tree Man whose moves are all stolen from other characters (I hate Namco in this regard, as they love to have "characters" who have no moves of their own). You've got brand new hottie Anna who is Nina's sister, and they hate each other for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Since this is a Japanese fighting game and Japan has a law that every fighting game MUST have a Bruce Lee character (even though Bruce Lee was Chinese), they have included Marshall Law (ha ha do you get the incredibly hilarious play on words? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!). And then of course you have old man Heihachi (gesundheit) who is incredibly boring and just won't go away and stay away. I hate old people, they have no business being alive.

Then there is the final boss, and his mission is to destroy ALL EXISTENCE! He's gonna have a hard time doing that if a 16-year old schoolgirl (who never ages from one Tekken to the next) can defeat him. This last boss is the same exact last boss that was in Dead or Alive 2 as well as DoA 3... that is a supernatural Japanese cheater who is frustrating as hell and whose purpose is to conquer/destroy all of everything. Must be another law in Japan that all 3D fighting games must have a supernatural, tyranical megalomaniac who cheats constantly as a final boss along with a crazy, distracting background scene. There can be no other explanation. But this guy truly is an excersize in frustration! He moves at super EX turbo 9 x6 speed, while you putz around in real time. He also kicks up a ton of debris every time he moves, and there is constant rapid motion in the background. Trying to see what he is doing is nearly impossible. Let's not forget a color sceme that would kill even a non-epileptic. He hits you with moves that make you just stand there in a stupor, unable to do a damned thing. Then he unleashes his instant death move and that's it, you're done. He is one of the cheapest bosses I have ever seen. I hate him. I'd rate this game higher if he weren't in it. There is next to no strategy to use against him because he moves so fast you can't tell what the hell is going on. Fighting him as Yoshimitsu or Steve Ballmar is insanely angrifying. Beat him though, and you get a fantastic CG ending in most cases. My favorite ending is probably Wang Chung's, simply because it looks like he has real emotion on his face when he looks down at the defeated, cheating final boss. There is one ending that is anime, so that means nerds and people who don't count as real people can appreciate this game as well! There is a "Devil Within" side quest game, and it is a repetitive beat 'em up that gets kind of boring after a whole bunch of heated 1-on-1 battles in the normal game, but it's not too shabby. It's just like the one that was in Tekken 4, from what I recall. Playing the older arcade games (including Starblade) is pretty fun. Starblade is a bit better than the Sega CD version we have all grown to love since ages past. Pick up Tekken 5, it's a good game!

You didn't think the Playstation 2 could pull off good graphics, but you've
been proven wrong! These go beyond "good" and even into "fantastic"!

Wrap up:
If you like cheating end bosses, you will love Tekken 5. But even with him in the game, this is still a great game and it will take a small while to unlock everything. Definitely the best Tekken ever, but not perfect. Soul Calibur 1 and 2 are still the best Namco fighters by a mile.

Cool review, though it's odd that you said so much negative about it and then slapped it with an 8. BTW, Anna Williams isn't a newcomer as she's been around since, I believe, Tekken 2. I'm tired of Tekken; Namco needs to try something different, make strides to improve something besides the graphics.

Press the submit button a few too many times trying to post that, Icarus?

I did have fun with it like I mentioned, and most of my complaining was about the last boss. The rest was just making fun of the characters. It's more of a 7.8, but I don't really like dealing in decimals when it comes to scores.

Let this be a lesson to you (one which you probably already know). If you click submit and nothing is happening, COPY all of your text FAST! Sometimes the post will actually submit, the forum just won't take you to the updated page. Copy your text and then refresh the last page of the thread to see if your post took. If it did, and the thread didn't top itself like it should, then make a new post with gibberish like fjghjkfhgjkfhj and submit. The thread will top itself. Now delete the gibberish post. I have had to do that with my last 3 reviews.

Ever since some earlier mishaps (mostly from when I'd write reviews and it screwed up, losing all of my material in the process), I've known to copy all of my text, especially if it's a long message like a review. Nowadays, it's more safe to copy and paste those into Wordpad/Notepad before trying to submit them because if AOL should happen to throw me offline then whatever I've copied will disappear, meaning I won't be able to restart up AOL and then simply paste the message. Also, about that other point you mentioned, I've had to deal with that a lot recently, and I'm aware of the method you just stated. I wonder why the MagicBox is having problems....

P.S. Some of those earlier deleted reviews were excellent and are now lost forever. THANK YOU AOL.