Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Bullying..

From a posting on US News- by Chrissy Sciuicque..

Sometimes, the workplace can feel a lot like high school: Full of cliques, gossip, and passive-aggressive behavior. Bullying has been a hot topic as of late and sadly, adults are not immune to it. Bullies certainly exist in the workplace, though they aren't quite as obvious as they were in grade school. They don't go around throwing people into trash cans and stealing lunch money. But their torment can be just as destructive.

Whether the bully is criticizing you, conveniently "forgetting" to include you in important conversations, stealing credit for your work, or talking badly about you to others, his goal is always the same: To tear your down (typically in an effort to build himself up).

(Please note: The male pronoun is used here for ease of reading. Bullies can, indeed, be female too.)
As much as your children would like to believe you have all the answers, should you find yourself bullied in the workplace, you may feel as lost as a third grader regarding what to do. Here are a few tried-and-true recommendations.

1. Evaluate the situation. First, look at the situation objectively. What's really happening here? Is this person nasty to everyone, or is it just you? Are you, possibly, giving this person too much power? Maybe this bully just has a bad attitude and it has nothing to do with you. Is there any chance you're being overly sensitive, taking his or her words or actions to heart when they should be simply ignored?
This isn't intended to place the blame on the victim, but remember that the workplace is a professional environment, which means it won't always feel warm and fuzzy. You don't have to be friends with everyone. There are bound to be some people you just don't get along with, and that's OK.
Bullies, on the other hand, engage in persistently aggressive and/or unreasonable behavior against a person. That means you're singled out and the person is being more than just annoying or rude. Various definitions of workplace bullying use the words systematic, hostile, threatening, abusive, humiliating, intimidating, and sabotage. In short, bullies are intentionally trying to harm you and your ability to do your work.
So take a step back and look at what's going on. If the person is simply unpleasant and difficult to work with, you're probably not the only one who sees it, and you're certainly not alone. Practice patience and don't let their bad attitude affect you. If your situation does indeed rise to the level of bullying, keep reading.

2. Stand up for yourself. Don't be an easy target. If you shrink away and allow the behavior to continue without consequence, there's nothing to stop your bully from continuing on. Remember that people treat you the way you teach them to treat you (as Oprah has said about a thousand times). You give people instructions regarding what's acceptable behavior and what's not.