Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K.

"Like what you like, enjoy what you enjoy, and don't take crap from anybody."

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Something you will (unfortunately) never see on "Pokemon."

This is also a perfect example of the kinds of things that go through my head.

Random Pokemon Trainer: Wow, I've never seen that pokemon before, what is it?
Ash: It's an Oh-My-God-It-Burns-achu.
RPT: A what?!
Ash: An Oh-My-God-It-Burns-achu.
RPT: What a weird name, why is it called Oh-My-God-It-Burns-achu?
Ash: You asked for it... Oh-My-God-It-Burns-achu, I choose you!
Oh-My-God-It-Burns-achu: CHUUUUUUUU!!!!!
RPT: OH MY GOD, IT BURNS!!!

Questions...

It's been a long time since I did one of these, so here's a really long one of those "about you" things. I got this from Alicia's site.

GENERAL*
-Name: Kevin Underwood
-Were you named after anyone?: No.
-School: None. When I was in College, I went to The University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma.
-Mascot: They were The Drovers.
-Nicknames: None.
-Birthday: December 19th.
-Birthplace: Paul's Valley, Oklahoma.
-Age: 24
-Grade: None.
-Height: Not sure actually, approximately 6 foot.
-Hair color: Red.
-Eye color: Brown.
-Siblings/names: Marci

*OTHER STUFF ABOUT YOU*
-Favorite subject in school: Either English or Science. Probably science. I love English class, but I hated writing essays.
-Least favorite: Math.
-Do you actually like math?: NO!
-Who are your best friends?: Chris, Alicia, and Melissa, in no certain order.
-How many people are on your buddylist?: 3.
-Are you on a sports team?: God, no. I fucking hate sports.
-How long are you in the shower: Well, I used to take about 30 minute showers, but now I limit myself to 10 or 15 minutes.
-Plans after high school: I've been out of school since 1998, and I still don't know what the fuck I'm going to do with my life.
-Whats your least favorite food?: Probably squash. I hate squash.
-What's your worst fear?: I honestly couldn't say. There's not really anything that scares me that much.
-Best feeling in the world?: Oral Sex. Just kidding. I know what it really meant. Not that I'd know much about it, but the best feeling in the world is when your love for someone is actually returned.
-Worst feeling?: Well, I've lived most of my life suffering from depression and social anxiety, so I'd have to say that's one of the worst feelings. Being so nervous around people you can barely leave the house.
-Who do you trust the most?: I trust all three of my best friends. And my family.
-Who dont you trust?: Everyone but those few I just mentioned.
-What college do you go to or want to go to?: None.
-Do you have a job?: A sucky one, yes.
-Are you bored?: Almost always.
-Whats your religion?: None. I'm not really religious at all, but the few beliefs I do have are a complex mix of at least a dozen different religions and cults.
-What do you do that makes your friends mad?: Probably lots of stuff.
-What do your friends do to make you mad?: Lots of stuff.
-Do you have any stuffed animals?: Several. I prefer the term "plushies" though. They are dolls of anime and comic book characters.
-Do you have any bad habits?: Yes, many. Biting my nails is one of them.
-What are you thinking right now?: Duh, I'm thinking this sentence as I type it.
-Are you a vegitarian?: No. I love meat.
-Do you smoke?: Very occasionally.
-Do you exercize?: Sometimes. Not as much as I should.

*LAST*
-CD you bought: The Polyphonic Spree, Together We're Heavy. I highly recommend this cd.
-Movie you saw in the theater: Damn, uhhh. Fahrenheit 9/11, I think.
-Movie you rented: I haven't rented a movie in years.
-Person you kissed: Answer withheld. Though I will say I've only kissed two people in my life.
-Phone number you called: The Landlady, to report the domestic disturbance going on next door, but noone was there.
-Person that called you: Wouldn't this question most likely have the same answer as the last one?
-TV show you watched: I don't have TV. So the last thing I watched was probably Wheel of Fortune over at my parent's house about a week ago. I watch a lot of DVDs though, some of them are of TV shows.
-Time you were on a plane: Only once, a couple of years ago, when I went to Nevada to see Chris.
-Went swimming in the ocean: Never. I've hardly ever even seen the ocean. I've seen San Francisco Bay, and that's it.
-Cried for no reason: For no reason? Probably never. I always have a reason. It might not be a good one, but there's a reason.
-Cursed at someone: Today at work. Though not to their face.
-Gave someone the finger: Never, except as a joke. I've never seriously flipped anyone off.
-Showed-off: I don't.
-Went skinny dipping: Never
-Cried in public: Not since I was a child.
-Let a friend cry on your shoulder: If you mean that literally, never. But friends have cried to me before.
-Been thrown in a pool: Not since I was a little kid.
-Fell asleep while eating: Never.
-Read the bible: A few months ago.
-Didn't wash your hair for a week: Never, the longest I've ever gone is two or three days.
-Bought ice cream from an ice cream truck: About a month ago. That was the first time in years though.

*HAVE YOU EVER*
-Climbed a tree: Yes.
-Went skiing: No.
-Went snowboarding: No.
-Fell asleep during a scary movie: No.
-Talked to yourself: Constantly.
-Played soccer: Once or twice, during gym class.
-Went to a professional baseball game: No, and I don't plan on ever going to one.
-Saw a professional baseball game: No.
-Sat in a restaurant without ordering: I don't think so.
-Ate sushi: Yes, once. Finally, I've been wanting to for years. It was this really cheap buffet sushi, it was barely even real sushi. I want to try some real, authentic sushi soon.
-Ate fish: Yes.
-Had braces: Yes.
-Wanted to die: Yes.
-Met a celebrity: No.
-Broken something valuable: Nothing valuable really. Just small things.
-Had your nails done: No.
-Scared to get a shot: Yes. I fucking hate shots. Just thinking about it hurts.
-Jay-walked: Yes.
-Shopped at abercrombie and fitch: No, and I never will.
-Shopped at old navy: Once.
-Thought you were in love: Yes, and I usually am. I fall in love very easily.
-Had an online relationship: Ugh, several. Never again. And I mean that this time.
-Tipped over a porta potty: No.
-Made prank phone calls: No.
-Took a boat ride: I've only been on one boat in my entire life, and that was the ferry across San Francisco Bay. I've never even been on a little fishing boat.
-Caught a fish: Yes.
-Snuck out of your house: No.
-Gotten caught: Doing what? Sneaking out of the house? Masturbating? I don't think I've ever been caught doing anything I shouldn't have been.
-Gone to another country: No.
-Wet the bed: I wet the bed until an embarrasingly late age.
-T-Ped anyones house: No.
-Had your house T-Ped: No.
-Broken the law: Who hasn't? Nothing major though, just stuff like speeding.
-Killed someone in your thoughts: Constantly.
-Been in a car accident: Yes.
-Been beat up: Pretty much constantly for the first 16 years of my life.
-Beaten up someone before: No.
-Skipped school: I skipped college all the time. I never really "skipped" high school or anything. Faked sick a few times and stayed home, but not skipped in the sense of letting my parents think I was going to school, and then not.
-Gotten a detention: Several times.
-Been stabbed in the back by a "friend": Not that I can recall at this time.
-Cried to or with somebody: Yes. Fairly recently.

*FAVORITES*
-Actress: None, really. Though I do like Winona Ryder and Mila Jovovich.
-Actor: Gary Oldman. Also, Brad Pitt, Edward Norton and Bruce Willis.
-Movie: Too many to name. A few of my absolute favorites would be "Fight Club," "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," "Silence of the Hams," and "Monty Python and the Holy Grail."
-Store: None.
-Season: Winter.
-Smell: Hmmm, probably the rain. But I also love the smell of a dryer vent when someone is drying cothes and the air is blowing outside.
-Sport: None.
-Scary movie: I don't like many scary movies. Oh, though I do love "The Ring."
-Food: I don't know. I like lots of foods. Chinese Food would have to be my favorite type though.
-Color: I've never really had a favorite color. I wear a lot of blacks and greys though.
-Restaurant: I don't eat at many restaurants, other than fast food places. Probably the Chong Wah Chinese Restaurant here in Purcell.
-Hang out spot: I don't hang out.
-Love song: Alicia said "Love Song by the Cure." That is one of my all time favorite songs, but I'd have to say that my favorite love song is probably "To Love Somebody," by the BeeGees.
-Type of clothes: Anything that fits. I normally wear khakis and a t-shirt. I haven't worn jeans in years.
-Person to talk about the opposite sex with: Perhaps strangely, Melissa. Yes, I talk about women with a woman.
-Person to talk about life with: Also Melissa. What's really weird is that Alicia's answers for both of these was Melissa. She was talking about a different Melissa though.

-Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: No, and I've never really had one. There was a girl I went out with a few times, but she didn't want a real relationship.
-major crush?: Not right now.
-Are you a virgin?: No.
-If not do you wish you were still?: No. I wish I'd had lots more sex than I have.
-What's a big turn-off?: Stupidity.
-Big turn-on?: Not really sure what my biggest turn on is. My "type" is definitely smart, I hate stupid people. Also, she has to have a sense of humor, a weird one is best. Oh, my biggest turn on would probably be glasses. I love girls with glasses. I also have a major "thing" for Asian girls, especially Japanese.
-Do you want anyone right now?: Yes.

*WHO*.......
-Is the last person you said "i love you" to: I haven't told anyone I loved them except for my parents. And I haven't even told them that since I was a very young child.
-Is the last person to tell you they love you: My mom.
-Do you want to love you:
-Would you want to meet: I don't know. Is this anyone ever, or someone who's alive right now. If it was anyone in history, I'd want to meet Albert Einstein, John F. Kennedy, and Lee Harvey Oswald. If it's someone alive right now, I'm not sure. Gary Oldman?
-Do you miss: Chris.
-Would you die for: Probably my sister.
-Is the nicest person you know: Melissa.
-Is the meanest person you know: No one.
-Is the most attractive person you know: Out of my small circle of friends... Melissa.
-Is the ugliest person you know: Several of the people I work with are pretty ugly.
-Do you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with: I don't know.
-Is the craziest person you know: Hard to say, all three of my friends are really crazy.
-Was the last person to make you smile: I don't know. No one, today.
-What do your friends mean to you?: A lot.
-What is your most prized object?: Probably my computer. Though there's nothing really special about this computer, it could be any computer, as long as it had my files on it.
-What are you wearing right now?: You really want to know? Nothing. I'm a part-time nudist. If I'm at home alone, 99% of the time I'm naked.

Monday, August 30, 2004

I think I jurt myself laughing.

Ummmm...

Blogger screws up yet again...

Ok, I should have ads at the top of the page again, but I don't know if they're working or not. On my computer, the box they should be in is there, but instead of the ads, it's full of text from my chatterbox. No matter how many times I reload the page, that's all that shows up on my computer. Melissa says they are working fine for her though. So, are they working for you guys, or not?

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Quizzes

Take the quiz: "What Kinda Kiss R U?"Tender KissThe tender kiss is the feeling where you can be anywhere and show your feelings.

Take the quiz: "What do you love about making love?"( I took the picture out of this result, it wasn't "work safe.")IntimacyYou love to be intimate with someone. You know every inch of them, you're big on touching and any kind of body contact especially cuddling though you need to feel comfortable with someone.

Friday, August 27, 2004

More Referrals

I've received lots of weird referrals the last few days, like usual. People search for the weirdest things, here are some of my favorites.

"It ain't going to lick itself."
"Japanese Sucking Circle"
"Bonsai Tree Tattoos"
"I like the part when he stops."
"Sugar withdrawls."
"Sinner, radio, MP3, 'A nude'."
"Toyota Lucida exploded image."
"My hamster overate, feels cold." I hate to break it to you, but it sounds like what you've got there is a dead hamster.
And I'm getting at least one hit a day for the much dreaded "Knights of the Old Republic Nude Mod."
"Mother gives blowjob to son as a reward." You fucking sicko.
"Jerry Falwell, Lewis Black." They're probably looking for this quote, which is one of my favorites, by Lewis Black, the comedian. "People snapped after 9/11. And the leader of the snap was Jerry Falwell. Now, Jerry Falwell was crazy before 9/11, and if you did not know that, I'd like you to wear aluminum foil, SO WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" And yes, I did that from memory.
And here's the longest search string I've ever seen. "Can you buy the egytpian god cards in yu-gi-oh from some stores in vancouver?"
"Puuchuus"
"Aaliyah died three years ago."
And finally, "surgery video of a histerectomy."

Late News...

My mom came home from the hospital a couple of days ago. They didn't release her, we just took her out because we couldn't afford it without insurance. They weren't really doing anything there that couldn't be done at home. They just had her laying there taking antibiotics mainly. They also suddenly said that she had e.coli too. But I just think they mainly don't know what they're talking about. The hospital up here is very infamous. When she came home, my mom said to never let anyone put me in there, because it was like a torture chamber. We went up there to see her the other day, and I couldn't beleive the state the place was in. My mom said it didn't look like hardly anything had been changed since she worked there as a nurse almost 30 years ago. Some of the furniture was still the same. The chairs in the room were these little wooden things, they looked like old chairs from a school. They were just bare wood, with big bolts in them. Paint was peeling off the walls, especially in the room my mom was in. One of the walls in that room hardly had any paint left on it. The whole room was dark and dingy too, most of the light coming from one small window, which was dirty. There were cobwebs on the walls too. I am not making any of this up. Lights in the hall were flickering, and the whole place was empty. The entire walk from the front entrance to my mom's room, we didn't see a single person, or any sign of life whatsoever, the place looked abandoned. We didn't see one nurse, doctor or patient. Finally, a nurse came in and brought my mom lunch. She told us that she was one of the few nurses there that day, most of the others were at home because they weren't needed. They said that other than my mom, they'd barely had any patients that week. It was a horrible excuse for a hospital. I'd always heard bad things about it, but this is the first time I'd ever seen it. The hospital half of it anyway. The other half of the hospital, the part where all the doctor's offices are, is newer than the rest, and looks really nice, but the hospital part sucks.

Doctors Grow New Jaw Bone in Man's Back

Sunday, August 22, 2004

More Hospital News

I just got back from visiting my mom at the hospital. The doctors have finally figured out what's wrong with her this time. It's a severe bladder infection, and she waited so long before going to the doctor that the infection has spread to her blood. So they're saying now she'll probably be in there for some time. Which really sucks, because this time she's in the hospital here in Purcell, and our insurance doesn't cover this hospital at all. This thing could break my parents. Today my sister was saying that she needed to go to the store to buy some more hair conditioner, and my dad said "You'll just have to go without conditioner for a while, we can't afford to buy it right now. They're a single income family, and my dad barely makes over $30,000 a year anyway. If he made just a tiny bit less a year, they could get on welfare. But they'd never do that anyway, my parents hate anyone who uses welfare and other forms of governmental aid.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Blah blah blah blah..........

I'm getting sick of thinking up titles.

Anyway, they still don't know what's wrong with my mom this time for sure. Or that's what they're saying anyway. We don't trust them much.

Hmmm, that's really all I have to say today. All I did was sit around the house today with my sister. This was my dad's long work day, so she was over here for about twelve hours. We spent over half that time watching 12 episodes of Excel Saga. My sister loves that anime now too. She's maybe even more obsessed with anime than me. Especially Yu Yu Hakusho, she worships that show.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Hospital Time Again

Well, my mom's back in the hospital. They think it's just a virus of some kind this time, probably something she picked up the last time she was in the hospital, though it's taken an awful long time to show up if that's the case, she's been out for weeks now. Once again, she was sick for days before she would go to the hospital. I kept telling her to go yesterday. Even though it was quite warm in the house, she'd been freezing for a couple of days. Yesterday she was shivering so badly she looked like she was about to fall out of her recliner chair. I've never seen anyone shake that badly. Also, her lips were a purplish color, almost blue, and she had been throwing up all day, and my mom NEVER vomits. Marci almost freaked out when that happened. She was like, "Oh my god, is mom throwing up?! I've never seen mom throw up in my life!" Mom said she took her temperature, and it said it was only 100.4, which isn't that bad. But when she went to the doctor today she had a temperature of 104 point something. They said she's extremely dehydrated, for some reason, even though she's been drinking a lot. Which sounds like it could be kidneys again, but they are still insisting it's just some kind of virus, though they don't know what. She's only been there a few hours though. But she's dehydrated, and her blood pressure was really low, 88 over 50, or something like that.

So, I need to go now, I have to call work and see if I can get tomorrow off, to watch my sister again.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

New Blog

Ok, so, despite Blogger being buggy all night, I finally got done with the "other thing" I mentioned earlier. This other thing is a new blog I have just created. I have decided to start learning Japanese again, and I've decided to blog my lessons along the way, so other people can use the blog to learn Japanese also. It took me several hours of writing tonight, and I didn't even get to the first lesson yet, all I got done was an introduction to the site, and then the basics of pronunciation (I'm really getting sick of typing that word, I typed it probably 50 times making those posts). So anyway, if there's any of you that read this blog that are interested in checking it out, here's the link:

My new favorite Anime

Yeah, I know I'm supposed to be saving my money. I desperately need to save my money. I think I am going to have to get a second job, since I can't seem to find anything good enough to become my sole job. Anyway, even though I should be saving my money, I just can't control myself most of the time. I went to Best Buy the other day and they'd expanded their Anime selection again. They've got an incredible selection now, they had titles I've never seen in stores around here. Such as Excel Saga, which I'd heard of before, but didn't know anything about. They had this box set of the entire series, and I read the description, and just had to buy it. I spent $60 on the box set of a show I've never seen before. I'm glad I did though, Excel Saga is the greatest! It's my new favorite anime. It's just so incredibly strange and hilariously fucked up. The series is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. Even weirder than most of the weird flash animation cartoons I've seen online. Yes, it's that weird. Here's the description off the box:

The secret ideological organization ACROSS wants to conquer the world, one city at a time! (Hey, Rome wasn't built in a day, y'know. These things take time.)

And the unbelievably hyper and certifiably insane senior agent Excel Excel (along with her hapless Martian Princess/Sidekick, Hyatt) will stop at nothing to help her beloved boss, Lord Ilpalazzo accomplish this goal. But perpetual hunger may be her undoing... that is, if the afro-wielding action heroes, mysterious governmental agencies, adorable aliens bent on galactic domination, bloodthirsty monkeys, and other assorted lunatics don't get her first.

Will Excel ever win Ilpalazzo's heart? Will Pedro ever stop bitching? Why does Hyatt keep dropping dead? (How weird is that?) What kind of wine goes best with Menchi? And what's the deal with all these dangling, rhetorical questions? Do we buy them in bulk at a wholesale warehouse or something? Dear God, make them stop! MAKE THEM STOP!

Hair Cut

Damn, I've been trying to get a haircut for at least a week now, but everytime I go the place is packed for some reason. I think I'm finally going to have to make an appointment to get in. Either that, or just go somewhere else, somewhere I've never been before. Which sucks.

Yesterday when I was at work, Zac came in to pick up his check. Zac is a guy on night crew. I've never really worked with him much, but I dislike him anyway. Anyway, when he came in he was wearing a shirt that said "It aint going to lick itself." I like that shirt, although I would not wear it in public. That's the main reason I don't like him, he's the kind of person who would wear a shirt like that out in public.

Advertisements that appear to be copies of other advertisements. The site is in French, but that shouldn't cause too much of a problem, just use the links at the bottom of the pages to see the different pages.

Dear god, you have no idea how much this excites me. Unfortunately there's not much there yet, just a production blog, which doesn't tell much yet, as they are only a few weeks into filming.

Also, that animation at the beginning, where you press the button to destroy the earth has several different ways in which the earth is destroyed. Reload and do it again to see if you get a different one. It may take a few tries, it seems.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

New Story

This is something I just wrote. Only took me between five and ten minutes, from time I decided to sit down and write, without even knowing what about, until the time I finished.

Yes, well do I remember the old days. The days before men set foot on this planet, to rape and destroy, and defile all that we hold sacred. They say our gods are nothing but myth. Nothing but allegories; personifications of the forces of nature, and of psychological archetypes. Their ignorance truly appalls us all. Maybe this is true of their gods, and if so, I pity them. I pity them, because it is thus not their fault that they are so profane, and despicable in all their ways. If they had gods like ours they would not be like this. Their gods, like all true gods should, would have kept them on the true path, not out of benevolence, but out of fear.

Yes I pity them, for it is not their fault. This, however, does not excuse their behavior. They are truly god-forsaken, in the most literal meaning of the word, and as such, are an abomination. A blight on the entire universe, a boil which must be lanced. A disease, which must be eradicated.

Their ancient gods were fake, and so, they believe, must ours be. On this night however, they shall learn just how real our gods are. Our gods will do what their gods should have done.

Sigh

NO! I DON'T WANT TO THINK UP A TITLE!

Alicia came over the other night to watch a movie. We got really drunk. I had a great time.

My mom went back for a follow up doctor visit a couple of days ago, and they said they finally figured out what caused the kidney problems. It was her diabetes medication, she's allergic to it or something. About three months ago she was diagnosed as being borderline diabetic. She's not on insulin, but they put her on a couple of other medications, and that's what caused the problems. The doctors said they'd never seen anything like it though. They said it has caused a few problems with people before, but usually only in people who'd been on it for years, she'd barely been on it three months. They also told us something they hadn't told us before. When they first brought her in, they thought for sure her kidneys were DEAD. They thought she was going to have to get put in the hospital for a long wait for a transplant. If she survived, that is. My dad said he knew there had to have been more than they were telling us, by the way they acted when they brought her in. None of the doctors or nurses would look her in the eye that first night. They all thought she was going to die.

Wow, it stormed suddenly earlier. When I came home from work at four it was just starting to get cloudy, then suddenly about 4:30 I heard it start storming. I looked out the window, and it was bad. Raining really hard, and the wind looked like it was going to blow the small trees down. Then, 15 minutes later, it had stopped, wind and all, and was just barely drizzling. Now it's still cloudy, but I don't think it's rained since then.

I'm so bored the last few days. I'm off tomorrow, that means I can stay home and be bored all day! I've still got half a bottle of vodka left, maybe I should finish it off? But I'd rather wait for Alicia to come over and help me finish it off.

Like usual, I know there was more stuff I'd been planning on writing about all day, but I've suddenly forgotten. Maybe I'll remember later.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Post 950

Wow, it's hard to believe I've made that many posts. It's also hard to believe this blog is almost three years old. That's pretty old for a simple little personal blog like this. Some of them don't last more than a week. [edit: No, duh, what was I thinking? It's only been almost two years. Not three. That's still quite some time for a blog though.] What disappoints me though, is that most blogs that last more than a year are usually really popular, and their owners are net-celebrities. I'm still unknown. I have three fans that I know of, maybe four. I get on average 200 hits a week, while not being close to some of these more famous blogs, is still really good. I remember back when I thought 20 hits a week was amazing. But at least 95% of these hits are from random web-searches, because, when you've made almost 1000 posts, you've used pretty much every word that people will search for, so the search engines will point to your site for pretty much anything.

Where are my adoring fans? Where's my book deal? More importantly, where the hell are my pants?

I am so fucking bored. I've been bored the last two nights. Both days have started off with me being in a fantastic mood, but then by evening I'm so bored I feel like my head's going to explode, or at least I might fall asleep face down on my keyboard. I should go watch a movie or something, but I can't think of anything I want to watch. I've spent all of the last two evenings, just sitting here at the computer for hours hoping that Melissa will get online, so I can talk to her. She hasn't been on yet tonight, it was late last night before she got on. Neither of my other two friends are online either. Alicia wont be online tonight, she's out having the time of her life at the Evanesence concert in Oklahoma City. She's so excited about it she's been about to cream herself all day. (My, that was exceptionally vulgar. It also sounded like something she herself would say.)

I have three friends. That's sad. I have two IM programs with buddy lists. First I have AIM, the only person on the buddy list is Alicia. Then I have Yahoo Messenger, that buddy list has three names on it, Chris, Melissa, and Alicia's Yahoo screenname. So I have four names in all on my buddy lists, two of them the same person. How sad is that. I've known people with almost 100 people on their buddy lists before.

Well, this is boring me now too. I think I'll go pound my head against the wall for a couple of hours.

More of my Writings

Yes, here is another excerpt from my writings. This typifies the majority of the things I've written in the last few years. It seems this is all I can write anymore. This was written at work, for Alicia, when we used to just stand around writing weird stories for each other. This was written a year or two ago:

"No Puppy!" I says. "Nooooooo!" But it was too late, the puppy had already eaten the explosives. The puppy exploded then. He was a hero, by eating the bomb he had sacrificed himself, but had saved everyone else.

"Nooooo!" Shouted Saddam Hussein. "That stupid puppy! He has ruined my plans to destroy the Twinkie(tm) factory! Without Twinkies(tm), millions of people would have went into sugar withdrawls, and I could have taken over America. And then, the world!" But while he was yelling, 500 heavily armed soldiers snuck up behind him, and then they all shot him.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Upon Dying

I was going through my copious amounts of personal text files today, mostly made up of incomplete stories and semi-coherent mad ramblings, and found this, one of many "diamonds in the rough." It, like all my best works, is uncompleted. In fact, this is basically just some brainstorming I was doing, something that just suddenly came to me at work one night, at least a year ago. It's the middle portion of the poem, there's no beginning or ending yet, and the last line is just a line that I intended to work into the poem somewhere, but it seems to do a good job as a makeshift ending for the poem, so much so, that it may actually become the real ending. All I need now is a beginning. But anyway, here it is. I like it, a lot.

Upon Dying

And now that I stand with a foot in each realm,
The scales have fallen from my eyes,
And I see all the splendors that life has to give.
The flaming chariots of the gods encircle the heavens,
And the earth is bathed in light.

No! I will not die as I have lived!
I will not quake and tremble,
I shall not bow to the heavy loads of fear and anxiety!
I shall go out screaming!
I shall claim what's mine!

I Need Money!

Stupid money. As if I wasn't having a hard enough time getting by, now I had to buy a new tire today, after getting a flat yesterday. About five days before my mom went to the hospital, I started walking around the lake everyday again for exercise. When my mom went to the hospital I had to stop though, but I've been doing it every day since she got out of the hospital. Every day but a couple when it was raining. A couple of days I've went around it twice.

So anyway, I must have run over something at the lake yesterday when I parked or something. I didn't notice the flat at first, it must have just started going down when I left. I just noticed that when I turned corners the car kinda vibrated, but then after going about a mile or so, getting almost home, it started flapping. I was in my walking clothes, and barely had any money on me, so instead of pulling into a shop, I just had to go home to change the tire myself. Unfortunately, this meant driving almost another mile on it, and by the time I got home, it was shredded. So this meant that instead of just having it plugged, I would have to get a new tire. I just got back from buying it a little while ago. It wasn't too bad, it cost $25 for mounting and balancing and all. But still, I need every cent I can get. I figured it up the other day when I was paying my bills, my average bills per month are coming to about $655, but now since everyone's hours got cut at work I'm only making between $700 and $750 a month. I was making about $820 a month, there for a while. That's $655 for just monthly bills, like rent, and electricity and phone and internet. That's not counting groceries and gas for my car. So, needless to say, I have GOT to find a new job. Or at least take a second small job until I can find a better job. Though I won't do that unless I absolutely have too. I've been meaning to go to one of those job websites, like oklahomacityhelpwanted.com, that they always advertise on the radio here, but I keep putting it off. I need to use the internet, because the newspapers are worthless. Most of the ads anymore don't even say what the job is, or where it is or anything. And most of them are stupid scams or something. Half the ads in the paper say stuff like "$2000 A MONTH! Call Ashley at..." and give a phone number. Of there's one that's been in the paper literally for years, I have no idea what it is it says "Looking for 10 crazy managers to replace 10 lazy managers," and gives a phone number. And it's just too hard looking through the want ads, I never can concentrate on them, and most of the real ones are all for truck drivers and RNs and LPNs, and other types of nurses and stuff, lots of them for nursing homes. So hopefully the internet sites will be better. It should be easier to just find the kinds of jobs I want to look at. If I had a lawn mower and a weedeater and stuff, I'd mow lawns for a while for a second job, I used to mow lawns for several years starting when I was 13. It's pretty good money, usually around $20 a lawn, and it only takes maybe two hours at the most for most of the lawns, sometimes only about an hour, though for one's that small, you usually only get about $15. But, I don't have a lawn mower or anything. One reason I'm so desperate for a really good paying job right now, even if I didn't really NEED the money right now, is because if I can ever afford it, I'm finally going to start taking a karate class. I had been always going to wait until I lost some more weight, but I don't think that will ever happen, so I'm going to take it anyway, if I can ever afford it.

It seems like there was something else I'd been wanting to write about for a few days now, but I don't remember what it was right now. It almost always seems that way though.

Oh yeah, and since I need money so much, let me just take this time to remind you about my links over there for donations, or, if you don't want to just give me money, you could always buy something from my Cafepress store.

"Softness triumphs over hardness, feebleness over strength. What is more malleable is always superior over that which is immovable. This is the principle of controlling things by going along with them, of mastery through adaptation." -- Lao-Tzu

Friday, August 06, 2004

I know better than to get my hopes up.

My horoscope for today:

Sagittarius
If you are currently romantically involved, today you can expect your relationship to move to the next level of commitment. You and your partner could agree to be monogamous, become engaged, or actually set a date for the wedding. If you're already married, you might decide to have a child. If you're not currently involved, dear Sagittarius, expect to attract someone soon. You're ready, and your availability signals are definitely out and reaching the available partners!

Well, let's see. I'm not involved or married, so most of that horoscope is crap, though the last part does hold some hope, but I know better than that by now. I've pretty much given up on the idea of love, it seems I was meant to stay single.

"Jian Feng, of Hegang, China, sued his wife for fraud (and for divorce) after she birthed an ugly baby. The woman confirmed the child was his, but revealed that before she met Jian, she had major plastic surgery."

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Fat Rednecks

Oklahoma is such a wonderful place. You hear conversations like these all the time, especially between husbands and wives. I was walking from my car to my apartment earlier, and this family was walking to their car, and I overheard them talking. It was a woman, a little girl, probably three or four years old, and a guy who weighed at least 400 pounds and was walking around with his shirt open. The guy said "I'm gonna cut the sleeves off this shirt." And the woman replied "Just because it's hot out, doesn't mean you have to ruin all your good shirts." To which he replied, "Well, I'll just take the sum'bitch off then, and go without a shirt. What do you think of that, bitch?"

I bet you hate these.

Time for one of my favorite things. A post about what searches have led to my site in the last few days. Lots of interesting ones this week. Not just weird like usual, but interesting too.

First off is, "Daily Vumpler." Now that's a newspaper I would read. I get a lot of people searching for "Vumpler." I love that word. Me and my sister will just sometimes say "Vumpler," and crack up. Vumpler of course comes from this hilarious cartoon: ABCs for the Kids.

I agree with this search, "I hate Betty Boop."

"John Titor Hinduism." That sounds pretty interesting, I may have to run that search later, and check out the results. I posted about John Titor some time ago.

Next up is "Nipplefight." I get that one alot. That refers to some article I posted from some other site a while back. I don't feel like looking it up.

I agree with this one also, "I hate Aaliyah." That search turns up lots of results, and my site is way down the list.

I've gotten this one several times also. "Knights of the Old Republic Nude Mod." People are so weird. There's rumors of mods to make the characters nude on every other game anymore. And they all turn out to be just rumors. I think this all started with Tomb Raider, I know that's the first time I started hearing about it. But who knows, there may have been freaks out there claiming they new a code to make Mario nude in Super Mario Brothers.

"Things that were edited out of Ren and Stimpy." Another one I may have to check out later.

"Cottonwood in the air conditioner." A very common problem around here.

Lots of stuff about Japan too, which I post about often. Well, I take it by spells, I have recently. "Japanese Smileys," "Ancient Japanese Swordsmen," and "Japanese Profanity." Whoever searched for that last one, you may be interested in a copy of my homemade Japanese Dictionary, it's full of interesting Japanese words, including profanity and sexual terms. You may also want to pick up a copy of this book, Zakennayo!: The Real Japanese You Were Never Taught in School, which I have a copy of myself.

I don't know what to think about this one. "Purcell Oklahoma Nude." And my site is the top two results for that search.

"Master Nan Diet." I've never heard of this, but some of the sites look interesting.

"Jachin Boaz." Something else I've posted about several times. They are the two pillars of Solomon's Temple, and are also an important part of Freemasonry.

"Louisville, KY sex diary." I have no idea.

"seemerot hoax." I always knew that was a hoax. According to many web sites, it is. Refers to this site, which I linked to a while back. Warning, there are now banners to adult sites on this site, which further confirms that it's probably a hoax.

Another search I get fairly often, "Water Gurgling in Toilet."

And I of course still get the usual searches. Probably half the searches leading to my site are still searches for the lyrics of the "eBay" song by Chumbawamba. I also get a lot of people searching for the lyrics to that "Lake of Fire" song by Nirvana. Which I've also recently learned was originally by The Meat Puppets, but no one liked it until Nirvana did it.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Homecoming

Well, my mom got out of the hospital today. Four doctors examined her yesterday. Three said she could go home yesterday, one said she couldn't, so they kept her. But even the one that said no, said that she would most likely get to go home today, and she did. They think it may have been her blood pressure medication that caused it, but they won't say for sure, because if they said that's what it was, we could sue the doctor that put her on it. Everyone thinks that's what it was though, because that medication has a history of being dangerous in certain conditions, such as if you get too hot while taking it. So they took her off the blood pressure medication, especially since no one knew why she was even on it. My mom's normal doctor has been making her take it for a long time now, even though she didn't have high blood pressure. She had it for like two days, and then it went back down and hasn't been high since, but the doctor still insisted she take it.