Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Avengers Series: Thor

My apologies for the hiatus, my little pieces of gorgeous garbage. I was caught up in a vacation whirlwind! But now I'm back, refreshed, and ready to get trashy.

I've decided to start a new review series about my new current favorite set of movies: The Avengers Series. This is not limited to only "The Avengers". This will include all the movies ABOUT the Avengers (Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, The Hulk, Black Widow, and Hawkeye). And while I know some of them aren't out yet (dying for a Hawkeye movie, btw), I'm willing to review what I DO have, and wait it out like the rest of the world.

So let's get started with Thor.

Played by the hottest man on the planet, Chris Hemsworth, Thor is the Norse god of Thunder. He's got this super cool hammer that can control thunder and kick the shit out of bad guys. He's basically untouchable when he's got that thing. And because of that, he's cocky as hell. So, when his people are attacked by an old enemy, he is DYING to go over there and kick some enemy ass.

And obvi he does. But he ends up needing his dad's help, and when they get back from this fun little battle, his dad is PISSED. So pissed at his arrogant attitude, and his blustering attempt at war, that he banishes him to planet Earth (because oh yeah, he's been on his own home planet this whole time).

Gets to Earth, and shocker, Natalie Portman is basically waiting for him. She's this nerd science girl who's tracking irregular patterns in some kind of space energy blah blah blah. So she notices this weird space energy thing, goes to it, and there's Thor, just laying in the dirt unconscious. As per usual, Portman takes him in and the two find themselves falling for each other.

Meanwhile, back on the home planet, Thor's brother Loki has been revealed to have instigated this whole thing. And with his father over come with grief over having outcasted Thor, it's all on Loki. Waltzing around with probably the craziest crown I've ever seen in my life, Loki is determined to start a war. He's pretty damn near successful too.

While he's building the blocks for war, this huge monster thing ends up on Earth in the same place Thor's learning how to be human. SHOCKER. It's when Thor defeats this monster thing that he finally gets it and is magically allowed back to the home planet. With a dramatic kiss and a promise to come back for her, Thor's out.

And, like every good super hero movie, he takes care of the bad guy and saves the day. Only downside is he has to shut down the portal to Earth in the process. So, no more Portman. Oh well. His dad wakes up and transfers his kingly powers over to him, and we're left believing Thor is the greatest king in all the land.

Okay, so not the most original of plots, and not the most inventive. But it looked cool. And Chris Hemsworth was cool.

Would I recommend seeing it? No. I'd say wait for the second one and hope for better writers.

I haven't seen Captain America yet, but I would rank Thor below Iron Man, and above Captain America.