Drew Didn't 100% Love Long Time

Damn, man. Who knew it was going to be such a big friggin' headache to date Hollywood royalty? So, Drew Barrymore (Could she bury less? Is this thing on?) decides to breakup with this I'm A Mac guy, sucktown for him. We felt bad and badly about the breakup but sort of saw this coming. C'mon it was Drew Barrymore. She's famously capricious. Ask Tom Green. He was a television sensation and never quite caught on in film and she decided not to give Justin Long a chance to burn down her home.

Then we read from FemaleFirst that Barrymore initiated the breakup because she's still down with old boyfriend Fabrizio Moretti from the rock band The Strokes. Yep, they all love the Italians and the rockers; game over, man, if the other guy is both. If we've seen it once, we've seen it a million times. "Oh, Justin it's not you, it's me. You're a really great guy. A nice guy. But, my heart belongs to Fabrizio. Sorry. You gonna be OK? It would make me so happy if we could stay friends. OK, I have to catch a flight to Vegas now, let go of my waste."

And, according to the New York Daily News, Justin Long did not take this hypothetical conversation very well. The Daily News reports from 'friends' of Long's that he's "too distraught" to work. We're hoping that this doesn't tailspin like Paul Rudd in the The 40-Year Old Virgin. Though if it does, he could bring a box of porn labeled "2 Girls 1 Cup '08" over to Seth Green's house at some point in the future. And, by the way, most of this anguish that the article refers to is surmised from the fact that he dropped out of a movie. That Drew Barrymore is directing. And we heard that Long has already hung out with Kirsten Dunst in the mean time. Good long rebound, Justin. We may even go see your sequel to Waiting.