Trump thinks Scotland is part of America

Republican Presidential nominee and alleged bigot, Donald Trump is to visit Scotland later this month. The visit is believed to have been planned once Trump was told Scotland was the whitest country in the world. However, a Flipside mole in the Trump camp has revealed there has been a misunderstanding,

“He heard on Twitter that the population of Scotland was whiter than a Texas Republican Convention and immediately decided he should go there to win votes. Trump’s advisors sat him down and tried to explain to him that Scotland wasn’t part of the United States and so no one can vote for him but he refused to accept it. They also explained to him that everyone there hates him anyway, but he didn’t seem to understand. I mean he even suggested we drive there in the campaign bus for fuck’s sake!”

“The funny thing is, due to the lack of sun in Scotland, Trump is going to stand out like a sore orange tanned thumb. Which is ironic when you take into account his demonization of anybody of a different skin colour.”

When pressed, a spokesperson for Donald Trump admitted to Flipside that the proposed trip was taking place in early September in the hope of canvassing drunk American Freshers at the Big Cheese as he has been pre-emptively banned from Hive and WhyNot.

Meanwhile, Scotland has hurriedly begun to prepare for the visit with an 80ft Wicker Man nearing completion