Musings of an unsuccessful, never married, middle-aged man. Now with prostate cancer!

Monday, October 6, 2014

Wild Animals

The Complete and Total Loser has thrown up his limp-handshake hands and called professionals to deal with the raccoons in his attic crawlspace. He's trapped and released three but is sure of a fourth. He imagines that as small as the area is it's like a rabbit warren and that dozens of them live there, defecating, clawing, chewing through cables. Yesterday six deer hung out in the Loser's back yard for much of the day. They lay, resting, occasionally getting up to munch on vegetation they found in the weedy yard. The Lose went out. They looked at him. He realized that he was outnumbered and that if they wanted to, they could have killed him with their sharp, quick hooves. This morning he saw this fox in the backyard. If only it ate raccoons.