Seasons

Announcement

Bittersweet Symphony Is Only Bitter for Flat 12

As the sun began her final descent at the Eugene Burns Concert Hall last Thursday, whispers of the legendary undefeated season swirled into the dusk to the tune of Daredevil’s victory over Flat 12’s menacing purple bullies.

A strong checker-clad offense led by captain Jillian Beyke was the program for the evening. Daredevil managed to maintain possession throughout most of the first half and presented variations on a familiar theme. Gaelic Duo Alan Henvey and Barry Moore kept the ball alive in the midfield until it was perfect to punish the purple uprights. On defense, Timothy “Danger” Cabeen proved yet again with a calculated block that his “Danger” is his inner thighs.

By half time, despite an early Daredevil lead, Flat 12 flattened out the differential to just 5 scores. Flat 12 put on a convincing show of strength at the beginning of the second half by quickly delivering a ball through the Daredevil uprights and into the back of the net. Daredevil responded by rallying into a defensive posture. Adam “Madden” Speer vehemently called out real-time expert formations to combat Flat 12’s vicious second-half offense. Attack Doberman Madeline Daily had another successful asthma attack after several demonstrations of aggressive defense. Although Flat 12 sported boy band “Forwards with Killer Instinct” ft. Paulie Flynn, Daredevil knew the lyrics for every track. Daredevil finally unleashed Clayton “Bruiser” Tsang who debuted Daredevil’s secret bonus track, “Hold the Line with Howenstine.” For all you true Daredevil fans out there who missed the show, you can listen to this track at home by playing the record backward at 33 RPM!

By sundown the impressive Flat 12 offensive was forgotten, and attending guests hummed only a Daredevil victory march on the way home. The score of 3-10 to 1-3 will be in next week’s program notes to remind any ambitious Bier Brewery footballers that there can only be one concertmaster in the Indianapolis GAA.