I'm 17 and I have terminal cancer. I've created a bucket list because there are so many things I still want to do in my life ... some are possible, some will remain a dream. My blog is to document this precious time with my family and friends, doing the things I want to do.
You only have one life ... live it!

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20 January 2012

Sleepy, Happy!

Happy 2012 and I hope it's a nice one for you. I was trying to think about what I should say about not blogging for a bit and then I thought I'd just say that i was a bit sleepy and not really with it to write too much, but that I'm still happy. So I decided I would call this Sleepy, Happy cos I remembered they were two of the seven dwarves and I really loved Snow White when I was little.I've been sleeping loads lately but still going out in the afternoons and I'm spending lots of time doing charity things in the evenings. My charity is just about ready to go and it's really exciting cos there's so much going on. I haven't got the list cos mums downstairs, but I've spoke to some really nice people over the last week and managed to get some sponsors for some of our main charity events and everyone has been really nice to me. I'm not really very good at phone things or tv stuff and I always get stuck and don't know what to say. I wish I was brave enough but I just can't do it and it's a shame because I keep missing things where I know it would be good if I had the confidence to talk. But it's probably a bit late for me to worry about that now lol. We've got lots of things arranged for fundraising and I think that you can see them all here under events. It's just a homemade site for the minute because we still haven't got our proper one going, oh and the pay button thing doesn't work either. My mum is trying to figure that out lol, we were never very good with these things lol. My mum has spent hours and hours sorting the Keswick to Barrow and Coniston to Barrow teams out and I was probably as glad as her when she said that she'd got all the teams in and made the lists. But now she's starting to do other things, I don't think she likes doing nothing! Anyway, it was my mums birthday a week ago and we made her promise to do no work and to leave her iPhone in her drawer (that killed her) and we took her for a nice lunch and my nan did her a party tea as well. Mum said it was her best birthday ever :) There is a group of runners training for the Coniston 14 for Team Alice and another brave group who are going to cycle all the way from Lands End to John O Groats - yikes. Simon who is doing that has started a blog so I'll get mum to tell me address and I'll add it later on the side bit. Then it will be the Keswick to Barrow and my sister is walking the coast to coast walk in the summer holidays with my uncle and then on 27th September, my mum and dad are going up Kilimanjaro with a whole group of Team Alice. They're all mad!I was down at Alder Hey after mums birthday and we had a meeting about who will look after me when I need extra care and stuff. Home are trying to make me have a man and I really don't want him and now we don't know if we're going to have to move just to get a care team who I am comfortable with. I think it's silly that you keep reading about human rights but that is only for people who have come here illegal from abroad or have done a crime or something. Not for children who are dying, I have no rights. We'll see what happens but it really wouldn't matter to me as long as I have Mabel. I think mum is getting tired fighting and all they do is arrange meetings to discuss things that we already know.I've been gone off here a little bit but you don't know that, but I got a message about a girl in Scotland called Vanessa. Well, Vanessa is a bit like me because she has cancer as well, but one called Neurobalstoma - I can't spell it and my spellchecker doesn't recognise it ooops. This country can't offer her any chances now but in America, there are still quite good chances for her to get better again. The bad bit is that it will cost a fortune but her friends and family are all trying to get the money together to try and save her. Watch this video of her, she's so lovely and she does still have a chance. I know that if I had even a tiny chance, my mum and dad would do anything to make it happen. So please have a look at her video and if every single one of my followers on here gave just a couple of pounds, she'd get thousands. I don't know why the message came to me tonight but it did and I was just blogging here so I think it means I was meant to try and do something to help. She has her own website here and if you want to donate directly, this is her Justgiving page. Last week I was invited to open a new charity shop in Barrow in Furness, called the Furness Children's Trust and I was so pleased that they asked me. I've been trying to tell everyone to take any unwanted things in there. They are raising money to support families with children who are ill or disabled buy helping with things like wheelchairs or travelling costs. We hope that we'll be able to offer some of their families a break and they are hoping to help us too, so it was special to be part of it. I'm hoping to go in next week and mum has got a bag of stuff to take down :)I'm busy making little felted animals and cards for when we have a coffee morning for Alice's Escapes. My nan is knitting and mum is planning some crafts too so hopefully we'll have some nice things whenever it happens. The last thing that happened to me this week is that I found out that I've made it to the finals of the Love Barrow award, a local award celebrating good things in the area. I'm in the Courage section and Milly also made the short list in the Young Citizen which made me happy :) It made me think about it. What is courage? To be courageous, you have to face a fear and I'm not really afraid of much - well, maybe standing on a stage speaking, but I haven't managed that, have I lol.

38 comments:

Alice, I looked at your site to try to figure out where your problem with your Donate button might lie. Mostly, your code looks fine. I tried to create a similar button on Paypal, and it came out with whole bunch of encrypted-looking code that looks like this:GFpbiBWaWV3MRQwEgYDVQQKEwtQYXlQYWwgSW5jLjETMBEGA1UECxQKbGl2ZV9jZXJ0czERMA8GA1UEAxQIbGl2ZV9hcGkxHDAaBgkqhkiG9w0B... which I did not see in your source code. So, maybe have your mum go back to PayPal and re-copy the Donate button code?

Sorry I don't have a more defnitive answer. Best wishes to you and your family!

I've just given a fiver to Vanessa's fund raiser. I wish I could have given more but am hoping that every little will help and make it possible for them to raise the money. Your so kind thinking of others like you do. Let's hope all your followers can spare a pound or two in your honor to help this girl to have a chance. I mentioned I'd seen their plight on your blog. Come on people lets help Alice to help Vanessa x

Ah alice you sound like youve been having a good year so far!ur so lovely for helping others out and blesss your mum x well done to u and ur sister!ihope u and vanessa gets better!i love it when u blog x

I've seen you stand on a stage and speak at OTW talent show! Admittedly a few years ago now, but you still did it.Love the blog, one question - what's Home? Some kind of home care agency? Fingers crossed you get somewhere with that. Have you tried the Rainbow Trust? I emailed your mum about them a while ago (through Post Pals).... they might have some ideas. Glad to hear you're still active in the afternoons, and happy - that's the most important thing. x

Alice, I believe the definition for courage is you. We need many, many more Alice types in this world. I just want to know one thing, where are you hiding your wings? Love to you, Dear Alice. From Sherry in Georgia, USA

Thanks for the update, I get withdrawals between blogs :)Hopefully it all comes together, you get the home care you want, Vanessa gets the money & treatment she needs, and here (in Australia) the sun comes out because my husband and kids are annoying me and they all need to go outside and play! :) Keep smiling...Di

Crikey Alice, no wonder you have been sleeping: your life is so busy! It's frustrating to hear that you can't get the carers that you want. I have a feeling that this is one of those things that one of your champion supporters may be able to help with, or the press. As you say, it's OK for terrorists to shout 'Human Rights' from the rooftops, but not a teenage girl who is dying. I wouldn't want my daughter spending most of her time with a man if she were dying.That aside, you clearly have so many other things to keep your mind occupied. I feel for your mum though: I'd never survive the day without my phone, even on my birthday !!!

Alice, it's good to hear you are sleeping, happy! I agree with you that you should have a care giver that you are comfortable with, and I am praying that they assign you a woman and that you won't have to worry about it. I can imagine how all you get tired with the meetings! You have accomplished so much, through so many different projects. I don't want you to be so hard on yourself about public speaking. Do you know that it the #1 fear for most people? We all accomplish what we can with the gifts we are given. I developed a vocal chord disorder 7 years ago and now I am scared to speak in front of groups of people...which I used to do all the time. BE PROUD of EVERYTHING you have accomplished...you are a great writer, organizer and symbol of courage for so many people in the world. As always, sending you a giant hug and prayers from across the pond in Florida :)

Alice - You have far more courage than you realize. Most people find it difficult to speak in front of groups - you're not alone there! You have so much courage, love and compassion for other people, animals and the world around you. Keep having fun and congrats to you and Milly on the award nominations. You are both making such a difference in the lives of others.

So nice to hear from you Alice! You've been in my thoughts and prayers. I can't understand why in the word they would insist on having a man as part of your care team - the priority should be what reflects your wishes; not what's convenient for them.

Re: your comments on courage: Ralph Waldo Emerson is quotes as saying "A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer." You and your family have faced your battle with a level of bravery and grace that most people imagine having. You are my hero, and when I think of courage I think of you.

Alice, here's the secret to public speaking:YOU are the only one that knows what you are going to say (the audience has to wait for you to say it). Which means that you have all the answers :)MAC in St Louis, Missouri

Hello Alice, I'm glad to see a new post from you :) Hope you're doing well and having fun doing all the things that keep you out and about. I'm planning on donating a few dollars to Vanessa (I'm a broke college student, so it won't be much unfortunately), but I was wondering if you would know, or could suggest to her family, that they look into St. Jude's in Memphis Tenn. I don't know what their requirements for taking on international patients are, but I know they do not charge for their services, no matter what. Their motto is "A child is never turned away due to their inability to pay" and I know they've done incredible research into neuroblastoma. Keep up all that you're doing- it's fantastic! You deserve that award :)-A friend from New York

St. Jude is amazing! They do take children from all over the world, I know that much. They take care of everything when a child comes to them. They will cover travel expenses and have a place for families to stay free of charge. They are also one of the top children's research facilities in the world! Definitely pass on the message to Vanessa to check it out.

Hi Alice! You are a wonderful source of strength and courage to countless thousands of us worldwide. I've been praying for you and your family ever since I first learned of your case. God is using you to be a source of encouragement, strength, and courage! I know that He can and does listen to our prayers and I feel certain that He will bless you richly. He works through the difficult challenges we face to bring us out on the other side of them stronger than ever before. Keep smiling! Gary

You do more in a single day than most people manage in a week, and you face far more challenges to getting it accomplished- which you unfailingly do. You are the change that needs to be seen in this world. You give me so much hope and optimism for the future.Your courage is not being fearless, it is acting even though you are afraid. You have it in spades, even if public speaking is still a challenge. Please keep fighting, Alice. This world needs you so.

Hello there Alice lovely to receive your updated blog. A suggestion for your public speaking you could tape the speech and play it at the events you attend. People know your unwell and would over look your prior recording.Alice, you and your family are truelly amazing people I admire the courage and tenasity you all continue to show on your journey. I wish i wasn't so far away in so i could help with your charity but have inspired me to help children in similar situations here. I don't think you realise what you have begun Alice just to start the conversation has reached out to so many all over the world God bless sweetheart x Rhonda- Narrabeen-Sydney-NSW-Australia

I too slept a lot after my seven weeks of radiation. Love you Alice. Everytime I read your blog or think of you, I always think of the Jefferson Airplane song, Go ask Alice. I would tell everyone. Go ask Alice how to live the days you have. She'll tell you. ♥ None of us really know, do we, how much time we have. Fate can intervene at any given moment. So, give it a go, each day you get. And give no care for the morrow.

oh! my little courageous girl, you are brave enough to face the world itself..with the words from your heart..go ahead..God has a mission to complete with you..if you want any help related to website, i think i can help you..

Hi Alice, I hope you get that award because you are most courageous. Going through what you are and yet you're still trying to help others. I hope you get the care givers that work best for you - it's shameful and ridiculous that they would waste precious time on this. It makes me so angry. Your poor mum doesn't deserve this either. Keep fighting the good fight and take care of your Mabel.

So nice to hear from you and to hear you have had a very busy yet productive year so far. I believe if I was taking on as much as you have I would be tired as well. :) You are such a blessing to so many people. I pray God continues to use you and bless you!

You are an amazing young woman with much to be proud of, and many accomplishments!! I think you would be surprised to realize how much you are actually doing to help others in comparison to what many do not spend their time doing to help others. You are a generous person with a big heart, and tenacious spirit. I think you should be very proud of all you have done, and are still doing, and not worry to much about not being comfortable with public speaking. Most people are not comfortable with public speaking! But most people can't write like you do and communicate as well as you do. You give across such a powerful message of hope with this blog, that I know has touched tons of lives already, and that is more of an impact on the world than you probably realize. I really admire you!!

Alice I love reading your blog you're amazing and tomorrow I'm gonna blog about you, my blogs aim is to inspire and motivate and you are the perfect person to feature, plus my last two blogs have been about cancer so it would be fitting. I know its difficult but stay positive, visualise all your lumps disappearing. My grandmother had stage four cancer 30 years ago and she was told she wouldn't survive longer then a month and she's still here. They tested her and it had gone however it came back this year and again early last year they told us we only have a few months with her and touch wood she is still doing well despite them saying they can't offer her any treatment anymore. Your mind is limitless and you can create whatever you want with your imagination. I'm praying for your miracle :) I will put all your links on my blog tomorrow, take care hun x

Courage Alice? You have it in buckets! I have donated to Vanessa's appeal and I hope that she quickly raises all she needs. You have and are helping so many people, inspiring them to look to see what they can to to help others. The situation with your carer is ridiculous and I hope someone with common sense comes on board soon and sorts it out for you and your mum. Take care honey and don't worry about public speaking! ;-) Looking forward to getting your new mug, I use the other one regularly and always think of you when I do.

Alice, you are an inspiration to others,whether those others are in good health or not. Your parents must be so proud of you. I'm proud of you, and I do not know you personally. I do have my own battleand hope I can show as much courage as you. Thank you for being here, Jim

There is an old saying Alice:- 'It is easy enough to be pleasantwhen life flows along like a song. But the one worth while is the one who will smile when everything goes very wrong'. Keep smiling,your courage is courageous.

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About Me

Hi, I'm 17 years old and live with my parents and sister in Ulverston.
I've been fighting cancer for over 5 years and now I know that the cancer is gaining on me and it doesn't look like I'm going to win this one :(
I'm hoping to write in here as much as I can and I'm also going to show my bucket list which I'm trying to get done before I have to go. Hopefully, I'll update as I tick each one off the list :)