Rewards? For an 11yr old... What about the feeling you get for hitting a great shot. For chasing down that ball you didn't think you could get... For stringing together enough of points to win a game.. win a set... win a match...

That should be the ultimate reward. Something you can't buy with money.

sorry if I am being harsh here.

You are not being harsh. You're just misguided. Telling someone else what you just said is like someone else telling you how great cricket is. Are you going to go out tomorrow and pick it up?

I'm not a coach, so add some salt. From what you've said, she seems talented. If she's not being challenged, I could understand how she could lose motivation. You could ask her if she'd like to learn some skills that 13-15 yo players are learning. If she's struggling, try something else. Feeling challenged is key in staying motivated in anything we humans do. Give her more opportunities to take on challenges to her game.

You are not being harsh. You're just misguided. Telling someone else what you just said is like someone else telling you how great cricket is. Are you going to go out tomorrow and pick it up?

Go back and read the original post. The girl is not a beginner. She already has "nice" strokes. Maybe tennis isn't giving her satisfaction. She may also be perfectly happy with where she is at. If so, just leave her alone.

Asking me to play cricket is different. I have never played and don't have "nice" cricket technique yet.

I'm not a coach, so add some salt. From what you've said, she seems talented. If she's not being challenged, I could understand how she could lose motivation. You could ask her if she'd like to learn some skills that 13-15 yo players are learning. If she's struggling, try something else. Feeling challenged is key in staying motivated in anything we humans do. Give her more opportunities to take on challenges to her game.

Very true. I believe challenging and fun are very closely related. but not all kinds of challenges are fun to everyone. good teachers and coaches know how to push that button for each students to challenge and motivate them.

Go back and read the original post. The girl is not a beginner. She already has "nice" strokes. Maybe tennis isn't giving her satisfaction. She may also be perfectly happy with where she is at. If so, just leave her alone.

Asking me to play cricket is different. I have never played and don't have "nice" cricket technique yet.

You still don't get it. Her not being a beginner, having nice strokes and the love and drive for the game may not have anything to do with each other. There's no relevance, especially when it comes to kids who are still developing into individuals.

It's a hit or miss when it comes to kids truly into what the parents want them to do.

You still don't get it. Her not being a beginner, having nice strokes and the love and drive for the game may not have anything to do with each other. There's no relevance, especially when it comes to kids who are still developing into individuals.

It's a hit or miss when it comes to kids truly into what the parents want them to do.

I do get it... I am saying that the kid is happy where she is with tennis. She might want to try something else. She might want to go play with her friends. I am just saying we shouldn't create artificial rewards for children that age to get them to play tennis.

First, find out what tennis is in her life, how it compares with other special interests she might have (or had in the past), riding, soccer, piano, some youth group...and compared with other past times activities, malling, tv, reading books, fashion....

Second, based on the notion that "People are not lazy, they just have impotent goals", and in case tennis has a realistic potential to be a solid special interest in her life (based on above review, maybe with help of a graded questionnaire) then work with goal-setting in relation to tennis. And she must be part of this process.....

Every coach and parent does this....but give us details. Have you been around a lot of 11-12 girls and seen the dynamic? The social media available, peer pressure, early puberty, melo drama, and on and on and on? Seen the dynamic of the majority of soccer girls and softball girls and tennis girls who reach that age and joke around and socialize at mid field or court? Imagine paying a coach $75/hour for that, along with other tennis expenses.

I would LOVE to wave a magic wand and succeed in demanding a tennis girl at age 11-12 do this or that or the other. We have pretty much tried everything. But today's girls as they hit or approach puberty are amazing forces of nature.

But give us specifics.....what would you do when the girl's that age kid and joke and have low energy for tennis and have their mind's focused on some drama at school? Ground them, yell at them, forced laps....rewards.....punishments? Have you had success with that approach?

I am interested in your reply to see if I can apply your ideas to the realities of today's 11-12 year old girls. We all want to keep them away from drugs, etc. But please elaborate on your experiences motivating 11-12 year old girls to specifically work hard at tennis.

TCF do you charge kids to play in your group?

I have succeeded in forming two groups (of 4) for my two kids a mini tennis academy. I would like to charge $100 each for the six other kids per day (at least three hours of tennis) but many times they are freebies. Some of the cost goes to new cases of balls, paying top HS kids and college players to hit with them. I have noticed when money is involved it takes the fun and motivation away. When there is no money involved it is just pickup whoever shows up but I still have to pay for expenses, how are you doing it?

I have succeeded in forming two groups (of 4) for my two kids a mini tennis academy. I would like to charge $100 each for the six other kids per day (at least three hours of tennis) but many times they are freebies. Some of the cost goes to new cases of balls, paying top HS kids and college players to hit with them. I have noticed when money is involved it takes the fun and motivation away. When there is no money involved it is just pickup whoever shows up but I still have to pay for expenses, how are you doing it?

I agree with you that introducing money seems to mess things up. We work ours like this.....I provide the courts as our neighborhood has courts hardly anyone uses, and I provide the ball machine. Another dad and I usually bring the ball hoppers. 2 other dads are USTPA pros so they help me provide the instructions. Two moms usually bring pizza for the kids. I also try to find local HS/college kids to stop by and hit with them.

Its not exactly evenly split of course, but everyone makes an effort to contribute something.

Telling kids to do homework first is teaching them discipline, and academics should be hard and demanding, if it is not then put them in an after school program.

It seems we simply have to agree to disagree on this.

I pretty much used this with 2 of my 3 kids, to good results!
The other one just always begged to play with no effort from me.

I told them learning at school and working at a sport was developing mind &
body .... something our family will always do.
I told them tennis is what they would do unless they picked another sport out
of a love for it and if they did that would be great...because it helps greatly if
they take ownership, along with learning with a personal interest.
I picked tennis was our default sport since we had the equipment & the knowledge
in house, but we could branch out if they had a sincere interest in another sport!

For my part, I kept the focus on fun and learning, with very little concern for
winning or even competition. Imo learning would lead to being pretty good and
being good tends to lead to fun. Fun tends to lead to learning and it becomes
a cycle that has worked well for us, but did take patience on my part.
You do have to be willing to prime the pump!
None of them have beat Federer yet though, lol.

I think you maybe missed the point a little! By giving the girl some ownership of her programme and training, you will start to gain an understanding of her motivations and therefore her likely reasons for lacking in effort at some points. By keeping her engaged in what she is doing - by giving her some control, she is more likely to impart greater effort.

Very important point imo, since ownership is critical to outstanding performance.
Also fun is critical to stay at it consistently with the heart and mind engaged.
No reason sports should not be quite fun and even work/school can be some
fun too. Nothing is fun all the time, but folks should look to enjoy what they do;
especially if they expect to improve.

I pretty much used this with 2 of my 3 kids, to good results!
The other one just always begged to play with no effort from me.

I told them learning at school and working at a sport was developing mind &
body .... something our family will always do.
I told them tennis is what they would do unless they picked another sport out
of a love for it and if they did that would be great...because it helps greatly if
they take ownership, along with learning with a personal interest.
I shared tennis was our default sport since we had the equipment & the knowledge
in house, but we could branch out if they had a sincere interest in another sport!

Amen to that!

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5263

For my part, I kept the focus on fun and learning, with very little concern for winning or even competition. Imo learning would lead to being pretty good and being good tends to lead to fun. Fun tends to lead to learning and it becomes a cycle that has worked well for us. None of them have beat Federer yet though, lol.

I agree, I like my kids to master at least one sport, competition is secondary to me.

I see already enough kids growing up making a fuss about a silly point in some silly tennis game as if their life is at stake, I certainly tell my kids about keeping perspective.