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365 Days of Impossible: Day 6 – Clean Eating Realizations

For some eating healthy is a part of their daily ritual, or at the very least, they believe what they are eating is healthy, but upon further review the endless Bud Lights, Mimosas, chicken wings, bacon, GMO-riddled foods, etc. add up.

Suddenly, healthy isn’t so healthy.

Then there’s people like me that are completely aware of what is and isn’t healthy, but they have such an emotional attachment to food, it’s as if that greasy bacon is saying in a sultry voice, “Tammy, come and flick your tongue. You know you want to, Tammy. EAT ME. DEVOUR ME.”

Don’t judge me.

Think about that one thing you’re attached to. It could be alcohol, weed, McDonald’s, soda, cigarettes, hot wings, chocolate…. But you can certainly relate to having a relationship with that thing you love.

Heck, it might not even be something that you can drink, eat, or smoke. It could be porno, shopping, sports… It’s nearly a borderline addiction.

I. Love. Food.

Specifically, I love chicken wings, bacon, chocolate and anything that feels like a popping food orgasm on my tongue.

I remember when I was a child, we’d have the same types of southern, greasy types of food or poor-white food dishes. I wasn’t really living, but I still was emotionally attached to my food. My family wasn’t necessarily big on supporting my emotional needs or, perhaps, didn’t even care (more about this in a future post) and thus I turned to the delicacy that heart clogging food entities provided.

I was an awkward child, in that I was an introvert, but at times I had a big freakin’ mouth. I was labeled as “shy” but sometimes, I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer, so I’d lash out passive-aggressively and thus I would be the subject of ridicule. I was never really coached to get these pent-up feelings out in a healthy fashion, thus, I turned to yummy – and unhealthy – food.

Of course it was a viscous cycle of eating, being bullied, eating some more, feeling depressed, being physically bullied, eating, crying, etc. A turning point was during my junior year when I became a bulimic and a furious exercise enthusiast. That summer, I lived off of tomato slices, water, and lettuce sandwiches. Walked into my senior year of high school like a perfectly thick bad a**, but alas, I spent that year still making myself vomit, exercising until my knees were grinding bone on bone, and not understanding the emotional and mental aspect of all of this.

Fast-forward 13 years, and I have this figured out.

But I still love food. [ Insert sad face].

However, I have a great handle on my emotions and I’m pretty set in that area thanks to the big MAN upstairs and I have an amazing, supportive husband that understands my past.

With that being said, I wish I had this support system when I was younger, or at the very least, had attempted to eat clean (basically eating food in their natural state; no processed, refined, unhealthy foods) because I feel like a ROCK STAR.

Don’t get me wrong, I still want those greasy things like bacon, but I understand bacon can’t make me feel like this. Not. At. All.

Almost too easy, but the results – and I’m not talking about the scale, although that’s nice – but my health in which God intended us to be healthful, sustainable creatures, has seen amazing results in a short time.

A few years ago, I never thought this would be possible, but thanks to guidance from God, support from my vivacious family, it’s more than possible.