Viola Davis, Oscar-nominated actress and star of the hit film Prisoners, spoke recently at an Essence magazine event in New York City — and revealed some intimate secrets. While participating in a day-long preview of the magazine’s upcoming programming — including the 20th anniversary of the Essence Festival — she discussed learning to love herself despite society’s negative messages.

“I have never felt pretty,” she said during a luncheon interview with Essence editor-in-chief Vanessa K. Bush. Davis described a childhood of poverty and abuse, combined with being in the only black family in her community.

People in her neighborhood used profanity to describe her to her face. She internalized these messages.

“In fact, I embraced being ugly,” the actress said. But, rather than let such perceptions destroy her sense of hope (“Without hope, I would be dead,” she said), the thespian chose to work on her inner strengths.

A black beauty is born

For Davis, this meant perfecting her artistic craft at legendary institutions such as The Juilliard School. The rest is, of course, history. Now one of the most accomplished actresses living, she is a black beauty icon defying conventional standards.

Having just graced the October issue of Essence wearing her natural hair in an elegant updo, it is hard to imagine her experiencing such alienation. But Davis revealed that it was not until she stopped wearing wigs that she was able to completely accept herself.

Making it big also helped to calm old wounds. “My career has gotten to a certain point where I have a certain semblance of power. That power has allowed me to work through it,” she said of that pain.

But, Davis still felt “spiritually naked” in the public eye despite her success. Changing her hair was the final means of defending herself from the negative voices of the past.

“I was begging to be loved, [and] got tired,” she said of wearing wigs. She joked with the crowd that she had a “jacuzzi wig” and “post-jacuzzi wig” among many styles, which “came to be seen as a crutch.”

With natural hair as her crown of glory, Davis is using her full empowerment to further expand the realm of positive images available to black women — beyond her Essence covers.

Their Barbara Jordan project chronicles this pioneering member of Congress in a screenplay penned by Tony Kushner, author of the historical masterpiece, Lincoln.

There’s even a romantic comedy called I’m Your Man on the roster. Why such a breadth of genres? Davis explained that — in terms of Hollywood representations of black women — not much will change until more African-American actresses are offered star vehicles.

“I can either wait for it in Hollywood — and it can come — or I can create it myself,” she told the leader of Essence.

Addressing black ambivalence and The Help

But Davis also tasked black audiences to support black projects, even those such as The Help, which many African-Americans might be ambivalent about.

She encouraged audiences to develop an appetite for stories that expose uncomfortable truths, because the nature of art involves experimentation, and most mainstream artists receive support during good periods and bad. Black artists deserve the same thing.

“We have to stick with our artists, even through our failures,” Davis explained. This is the key to keeping more black films coming. “You speak with your money.”

To continue enjoying acclaimed movies such as Fruitvale Station, African-Americans must show up in force. “It’s up to us. The door is opening now, but it could close,” Davis warned.