Richard Stallman's personal site.

Puns

As a pun-isher, I love a full-grown pun (a pun
that elicits a full groan).
Here are some of the puns I've made up in English — those I
remembered to write down here.

Why is the English common law so concerned with property rights?
Because the English gentry insisted on proper tea rites every afternoon.

Does an Anarchist man have an antistate gland instead of a
prostate gland?

A pair of travelling exhibits on theory of computation was
known as the Turing Circus.

At dinner at a Japanese restaurant, the person next to me
said she wanted to work with abused children. Since we had not yet
received the tempura, I responded, "If battered shrimps are your
interest, we should have some here soon."

So who is mayor of New York in the daytime?
(I've used that against Wagner, Koch, and Giuliani and others.)

How the natives of the north got their name

When Europeans first visited the northern part of North America,
they did not know how to survive there. The natives did.
So they gave the Europeans advice:

It's pretty cold out there--better dress up warm!

Don't tease that polar bear, it might get angry.

If you want to make it to the next settlement,
you should probably take more than one dog.

But the Europeans had no respect for the natives, and ignored this
wise advice. So they kept on wearing insufficient clothing, teasing
bears, and travelling with too few dogs. Sometimes they died, and the
natives told each other, "I knew it."