December 2017 Babies

Baby Name Beatdown

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blessed6xover wrote:

UUUUUGGGGGG!!! This baby naming has really gotten on my nerves. I know I have quite awhile yet, but i like having a name set! Hubby and I cannot agree on anything. We have two kids that start with a B Brysen and Benjamin, and two kids that start With an E Emerson and Elijah and only one that starts with J. so we have promised my son Jakob that this baby's name will start with a J. Hubs like Jebediah, Jordan, Jonah, and josiah. I like Jace, Julian, Jaron. I love Jace Thomas. he says no. I rea..y like Maverick as a middle name. he says no. ok im thinking. im the one that's sick 24/7, im getting larger every day. im going to be dealing with the pain, of the later trimester, labor, and postpartum periods. I will be working during my largest most difficult time. I've had to stop all my meds that have made me continue to feel like a normal person. I've had to stop eating and drinking things i enjoy. I've had to sacrifice many things for this baby. what has he had to sacrifice? NOTHING!! he gets to sleep, he gets to eat whatever the hell he wants. all he had to do was inject his seed and done! now that was fun wasn't it? i know i sound like a big 43 year old baby but it is how i feel. as far as i am concerned i should get 95% of the naming rights!! am i wrong here?

I always tell my bf that in the end I'm gonna be the one choosing the name anyway. Because of everything you just said. We go through it all so I feel like we can choose what name we want. Of course if we come to an agreement then great but I told him ultimately I have the last say lol..

Take a nice long break from the name discussions. Like really sit on it and be quiet for a solid 6-8 weeks. You'll be amazed at how much that helps. Take it from someone on her third baby, who had been through absolute craziness trying to hash out names with a very picky/opinionated/stubborn husband. Taking a long break from any name conversations whatsoever will help tremendously. I'm in a "name game break" myself, and already I feel the tension gone. We have plenty of time.

I'm trying but I'm obsessive and the longer I wait the more anxious I become. I'm one that settles and feels like with the baby actually having a name reality kicks in. its like I'm carrying around something that has no identity. its hard to explain. this is my 6th. and it with my first we didn't agree on anything until 3 days before he was born. lol I'm still thinking it should be nowhere near 50/50.

He had to just settle and call ours Baby Bull (based on hubby's last name and his nickname) because we cannot agree on a boy's name. Literally every name I suggest gets crossed off immediately, and I am beyond frustrated. Now at least I can refer to the baby as something (we aren't sharing names before birth anyway, and aren't even sure if we are sharing gender). It was a compromise and helped me feel more connected.

My son from my first marriage has a very unique name and my husband's daughter from his first marriage has a more common name. I work in a school (my 11th year) so I've had hundreds and hundreds of names go through, and some of his farourites are vetoed immediately. It has certainly complicated things!

Trust me, I know how difficult pregnancy, labor, postpartum, etc. are and I definitely agree that we have it much tougher than the guys in that department. But, that doesn't mean that we get all or even most of the naming rights. I love and respect my husband and wanted to find a name we both loved. He would take on pregnancy and labor if he could for me so it's not at all fair that I deny him an equal say in our child's name just because of biology he has no control over!

I'm in a similar boat. His grandmother named his first baby Sophia Noelle, which is a gorgeous name. My family has naming traditions which I would like to abide by. I've been stuck on ONE girl name (that he's unsure about), and I've been unable to get him to agree on any single boy name. I even threw out that we could make the boy a junior, but he hates his name and struck that down too. It's an uphill battle, but you both should agree on it. We take a week in between single discussions to keep it fresh and constructive. :)

not everything in a relationship is 50/50. he knows that i know that. he should't get to say no to everything i have suggested either. pretty much all the decisions on child rearing is on me. he has other responsibilities in our marriage that he makes decisions on. almost 22 years of marriage and it works for us. all except for naming. lol

I understand how you feel about wanting your baby to have a name. I felt the same way. I do personally feel that it should be a 50/50 decision since it is a lifelong decision that affects mom, dad and baby. Maybe you could get a baby book, or print out bunch of "J" names. Each of you will go through and highlight the names you each like, and see if any match up. Maybe even let your children choose some. You might view a name differently seeing it on paper rather than saying it out loud. Best of luck :-)

In my opinion, he has every right to say no to names he doesn't like and you have every right to do the same. You should find one you agree on. Just because he doesn't have the main responsibilities for "child rearing" doesn't mean he gets zero say in your child's name or other important decisions regarding your child! Does he do things that contribute to the household such as work, pay any bills, do any chores around the house, etc.? If so, he is already contributing to your family's stability and taking care of your children. If you think workloads between the two of you are unfair, express it. But don't act like you're the only one who has a say when it comes to naming your child. It's selfish in my opinion- like I said, I love my husband and would only be happy knowing he likes the name too.

It's really hard to decide on a name when your husband dislikes all of your suggestions but yet doesn't have any of his own. I've been married for 17yrs and this is our 5th baby. If we don't agree by October, I'm just choosing a name I like.

It has nothing to do with not loving your partner. I love him more than life. It's ending a standstill with a stubborn man. Lol. There isn't really compromise when he doesn't like anything.

He has suggested other names though that he likes. OP just thinks she should be able to overrule him and pick one of her favorites instead of them finding one they can both agree to. If your husband literally isn't suggesting anything or isn't budging off a couple that he likes then I agree with you, but otherwise it should be a compromise.

I am right with you. I typically feel like the mothers are more excited about the names than men unless they have a family name being passed down. My husband will literally say no, no, no, maybe, no. I get so aggravated and truth be told if you pick a name he won't shun the child lmao. It's not like your consenting to brain surgery behind his back. I'm sure you will come to an agreement once you hold the baby and he will be able to put a name to the face

yeah and you know what? I I suggested a name he liked and then added one that I liked for a middle name and he said no. so I'm trying to use names he likes with a possible middle name i like and I'm still getting a no. I'm trying to work with him. he has not considered any not one of my suggestions. we will figure this out we always do. thanks proverbswoman14 for wording your opinion in a way that Wasn't rude or offensive. even though you did disagree. you didn't make me feel any less of a person. I appreciate that. others however need a few lessons in tact. thank you.

Oh, come on now. You asked for opinions and that's what I gave you. If you think I was rude/offensive and made you feel like less of a person, that's completely on you. You shouldn't ask for opinions and then find it rude and offensive that others disagree with you.

just because we carry the children and he gets the last name doesn't mean we automatically get to chose the first. he has to he there to help make a baby, literally impossible without the man. I agree with pp take a bit of a break from the name oart, focus on something else and come back to it. maybe you both compromise and come to one yall both like :) good luck girl...naming babies is hard hahah

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