So I have a small problem, I work as a nurse in a big hospital in my town and in January we had this male resident there as a doctor and I totally fell for him. He made me laugh and was so easy to talk to and really respected us as nurses, which is quite rare really. We flirted a lot and I sort of got the signal that he might be interested too so I thought I could ask him out since his rotation in our department was over and we wouldn't be working together anymore so it wouldn't be considered unethical anymore.

I didn't have his number or anything so I sent him an email. Today he answered very shortly that he's flattered but doesn't think it would fit into his life right now. I get it that he's a resident and very busy but I really don't want to give up, I really feel we could have fun together and have a lot to talk about.

I might see him a few times still at work whenever he's on call in our department but otherwise it's a big hospital and it's very unlikely that I see him again.

I need your advice what I should do now, I really like him and I don't know how I should express it to him so that I don't seem desperate or like a stalker. Help!!

Hello rausku. Reading your situation I guess this man is not ready or maybe available for dating right now. There are many reasons for why a person may decline a going out invitation-maybe he is going out/dating someone else, or maybe he is married or simply not interested. I would not try to persuade him anymore on this matter-if I were you of course. Doing it so may make you seem desperate or as a stalker, I am sure you don't want this specially within your professional/work environment. Additional to this, remember that even if he'll not be working together with you doesn't mean you two are not working colleagues since you'll still be part of the same facility. I mentioned the work part since it is important to review workplace policies on dating, but that's an entirely different and more complex subject.

It is hard to "move on" specially on a situation like yours when there is attraction and flirting going on and after dropping an invitation with hopes of moving further but don't be fooled by this since unfortunately some people are "flirts" just for fun. In my work there is a guy that behaves that way; he flirts a lot and is already in a compromised relationship . Unless there is mutual interest on spending more time with you after work, from my perspective he was just being very polite. I think it would be more productive to focus your attention on things you enjoy doing and get the best from that. That could help on not concentrating so much on the frustrating circumstances you're facing right now (we all have been through that) . Who knows if maybe there is someone else who would be willing on spending time with you and be worth of your time and affection but goes unnoticed since you're not ready to give up on this another guy who's not available for you on this moment. Nobody should feel "forced" on saying yes to an invitation, you deserve to be surrounded by people and a date who would enjoy having you as a company. My best wishes for you.

_________________My heart is divided: Schneider is my first love but Richard took me by surprise. I am living a mental Honeymoon with both

And I Would just like to add, that I Think you are brave to at least have taken the step and asked him. Many never get that far. You expose your vounerability by being honest, and that is a strong move!