15 September 2012

A boo-er's defence of devolution...

On the purely hypothetical subject of booing, and the irreverent heckling of Scottish public figures by crowds, don't lets forget what Walter Scott's characters had to say on the topic, airing their disgruntlement about Captain Porteous' reprieve (shortly before the soldier swung fatally from a rope hoist by the Edinburgh mob...)

"Ah dinna ken muckle about the law", answered Mrs Howden; "but I ken, when we had a king, and a chancellor, and parliament men o' our ain, we could aye peeble them wi' stanes when they werena gude bairns - But naebody's nails can reach the length o' Lunnon." ~ Sir Walter Scott, Heart of Midlothian, (1818).

Scottish devolution has, at least partially, repatriated the peebling. I'm sure the redoubtable Mrs Howden would count that a signal achievement. In unrelated news, I've now returned hale and hearty from my wee jaunt to the southern edge of France, which proved just the spot for the penny-pinched to live the (temporary) wine and cheese addled life of a bon-vivant. In any case, the end of summer inaugurates a new, revivified peat worrying season. Don't forget your flaughter.

“I think of him more of a long nosed, elegantly coiffed Afghan pawing through his leather bound library whilst disdainfully inhaling a puddle of Armagnac in an immense crystal snifter. If he can also lift his leg over his shoulder and lick his balls...” ~ Conan the Librarian™

“... the erudite and loquacious Peat Worrier who never knowingly avoids a prolix circumlocution.” ~Love and Garbage

“My initial mind picture was of a scanty bikini'd individual wallowing in a bath tub of peat. However I've since learned to warm to him, and like peat he's slow to draw but quick to heat...” ~Crinkly & Ragged Arsed Philosophers

Definition: "to worry peat" v.

"Peat worrying" is the little known or understood process for the extraction of cultural peat, practised primarily in the Lowlands of Scotland by aspirant urban rustics. Primary implements by means of which successful "worrying" is achieved include the traditional oxter-flaughter but also the sharp-edged kailyard and the innovative skirlie stramasher.