walked up to the podium and looked at all the faces watching me. Each face held a memory. Each memory was the key to making my heart break even more. I felt the lump in my throat make its presence well known, so I quickly looked away from the sea of faces. Scanning over my notes, I cleared my throat, “I really don’t know where to begin. I have so many things that I want to say, I just can’t seem to get the words out." I looked up again as tears threatened to spill over. As my eyes scanned the congregation, I noticed the faces of both mine and his best friends. Each one of their faces had tear stains reaching every corner of their face. Each one of them brought on more poignant memories, “I guess I should probably start with his sense of humour. God this boy was a kidder. He could make anyone laugh, even if it wasn’t funny, it would be how he said it that made anyone laugh. I still remember one joke which was terrible but I had to laugh. It went a bit like this, ‘What’s a dentist’s favourite time?’ ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Tooth-thirty!’ And to top it off, he ended it with ‘Came up with that myself.’ That was what made me laugh, not the joke itself, but how proud he was for thinking it up."
I sighed as my voice began to tremble, “I guess all there really is to say is that he was a wonderful man. A wonderful husband, father, uncle, brother, best friend. You name it and he was good at it. He- he wasn’t just a husband to me, he was my everything and… and, I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore!" I quickly ran out of the Church away from the watching eyes, “Mummy! Mummy!" I heard Thea call out followed by someone hushing her.
When I was outside I slid against the wall of the Church as tears streamed down my face. Why him? Why did I have to lose my husband? I began to cry even harder and sobs wracked through my body. I couldn’t hug my children without being constantly reminded of him. I just wish I could take his place. I wish that our children had a father again. I wish that he was still with us. I was crying so hard that I didn’t even hear the heavy Church doors open and close, “Y/N? Honey are you okay?" I heard Liam’s broken voice say.
I shook my head as I wiped away my tears, “No Liam. I’m not okay. How can I be okay? I’ve lost my husband, my best friend, the father of my children! I feel like I’ve lost my life Liam, so how can I be okay?"
“I’m sorry. It was a stupid question."
“Damn right."
“We all miss him though. I can’t say that it will get easier, but all I know is that he wouldn’t want you to be like this. He’d want you to be in there, making everyone smile and remembering who he is. He’d want you to be doing him justice by making everyone remember how jovial he was. He’d want you to be happy." When Liam finished his enrapturing speech, I pulled him in for a tight hug.
“Thank you Liam."
Liam smiled through the tears that had built up in his eyes and helped me up. He gently walked me back into the Church and helped me back up to the podium. I smiled at him lightly as he quickly whispered something to the boys. They all nodded and walked over to where I was, “I’m the smart one."
“I’m the flirt." Harry spoke in a saddened voice.
“I’m vain." Zayn said
“I’m the funny one." Niall said looking at me.
I looked out at everyone and smiled, “And Louis’ the leader, because that was the only one left." I finished off. I saw a wave of small giggles run throughout the congregation, “Louis wouldn’t want us to be moping around. He’d want us to be celebrating. He’d want us to remember all the good times we’ve had with him, not the bad. Louis will always be in our hearts and he’ll be forever young." I smiled through my tears as thoughts of Louis running around as Peter Pan whirled through my mind.
Zayn, Liam, Niall and Harry all huddled round me as we shared a hug and let the tears fall down our face, “Forever young."
“I wanna be forever young."
“Do you really want to live forever?"
“Forever or never?"
“Forever young…"
xoxo Unicorn (sry das es englisch is)