I'm a girl after God who isn't perfect, but I walk in the footsteps of the One who is. I live my life for Jesus Christ and try to bring Him glory through my words and actions.

Looking to Christ After a Miscarriage

Sunday, November 27, 2016

On a Friday evening in September, I showed my
husband my positive pregnancy test I had taken. Words cannot describe how
overwhelmed we were by God’s love and faithfulness. Even though I
wasn’t far along, we decided to go ahead and tell our family and friends about
our little blessing that would arrive in June 2017. We wanted everyone to
rejoice with us while we rejoiced.

From the moment I had found out I was pregnant;
I became anxious to meet the little baby who the Lord had blessed us with. I
couldn’t wait to be able to hold him or her in my arms and to kiss his or her
little face. I had already been sharing names with my husband, and was so eager
to find out if it was a boy or girl. We grew to love our baby more and more
each day.

At my first appointment, my husband and I were excited
to hear our baby’s heartbeat and to get our first picture of our little one.
During the sonogram, we heard the words that we didn’t want to hear, “I don’t
hear a heartbeat.” The room was silent, and my heart sank realizing we may have
lost our baby. The doctor wanted us to come back three days later to see if
there had been any changes to either me or the baby. I was eight weeks
pregnant, and at the next appointment it was confirmed that my baby’s heart was
no longer beating. Soon after the doctor visit, I experienced the physical part
my body was going through of passing our child.

That whole week was a blur as we mourned the
loss of our little one. My heart was broken with tears streaming for a baby
that caused me so much joy in such a short time, that I would never get to
hold. Many people had been praying for us during that week, and as much as we
wanted people to rejoice when we found out I was pregnant, we also wanted
people to mourn with us of the loss of baby June Bug. My husband came up with
that precious name since our little one was supposed to born in June.

Weeks have gone by and even though my heart
still aches; I’m grateful that God hears my cries, and that He is patient and
compassionate with my hurting heart. He chose me to be the mother of my child
for eight weeks. He chose for my husband and I to learn to walk together
through this storm. God chose for us to walk through sorrow together, and to
proclaim His greatness even through our pain.

I am thankful that we have a God who walks
alongside us far beyond the meals, sympathy cards, and words of encouragement
stop. I praise Him for being a God who is close to the broken hearted, and that
we can hold tightly to Him without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can
be trusted to keep His promises. God sees our heartache and is able to heal,
comfort, strengthen and give again in His own perfect timing and way. My prayer
is that God will continue to fill my husband and I completely with joy and
peace because we trust in Him. That His unfailing love would surround us for
our hope is in Him alone.