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**RhiBro's LAST Diary**

Determined for this not to be a 'feeling sorry for myself post'! This is a fresh start, so should be positive; although a bit of background won't hurt.

I'm 28 (7 years older than when I started dieting!), and am currently a good couple of stone heavier than I was then too! I've tried every diet under the sun, SW, WW, Cambridge, Rosemary Conley...and the list goes on. This is probably the 5th or 6th diary I have starte don Mini's, so I'm no stranger to this first, positive, introductory post, but also no stranger to the shame of losing the plot causing the posts to dwindle and finally stop! I've resisted going back through to find my old diary, as I think it would make me cringe!

So anyway, I'm still hugely overweight (although I'm tall, 19st+ is still not OK!), and am feeling a massive fraud, as I keep telling friends and family about the new wonder diet I'm trying, and am sure they must be laughing behind my back when they see me tucking into 'fat food'. I'm fed up of wondering if my big ol' bum will fit into chairs, or 'shock horror', if I'll break them (not happened yet, but wouldn't discount it!!) I'm sick of being the 'big one' on photos, even if friends dont mention it and try to cover it up (problem is, at nearly 6 ft and this weight I just look like an absolute GIANT!!). I've had enough of not being fit enough to walk the dogs properly, and know they're suffering from my lazy-itis!!

So...that's what I don't want. Now for the positives, what I DO want:

To be able to buy lovely clothes and feel good in them

To be able to run again, and do exercise in general

To feel attractive and not feel like my lovely boyfirend should be ashamed of me

To stick to a bloody diet...just this once!

To be in a good place, ready to start the rest of my life (babies, wedding, forever!)

So, Slimming World it is, am joining a group in the next couple of days, as I need the motivation of the weigh in. My boyfriend is a chef, so we will be able to plan loads of yummy meals together. He's also so so supportive, I'm really lucky! My life is pretty hectic at the moment as I'm training as a Social Worker; however I manage to make time to eat bad food and sit on the sofa, I'm sure I can cope with healthy food and the odd walk around the block...for starters. Will update my stats when I know them properly.

Am not setting myself strict targets, time-frames or goals, just to lose weight, become healthy and manage it as soon as I can. No pressure, any progress is good progress. Wish me luck, and join in for the ride if you fancy it?

Have decided to use the time between now and Tuesday (restart) to get my head straight, today I've been focusing on the positives of SW!
I love love love the food, I love to cook, as does my wonderful chef! I prefer fresh food to horrible processed crap, and would often choose a home cooked meal over takeaway. Recently I've been swamped by assignments at Uni, so unfortunately I've lapsed in concentration as far as health and diet are concerned. I can easily put away a packet of biscuits or a huge bag of crisps...or both if I'm honest. I have another essay looming soon, so will need to sort out some SW friendly techniques to conquer this
Am already planning amazing meals I can cook when back on SW. In the meantime I'm having a small blowout, although still controlled! Had a yummy subway today, although was just as excited about the salad as the bread!!

Here's hoping. Am 30 in January 2016, which isn't so far off now, so am using that as my end goal, I'd like to be happy with how I look and feel by then. Not planning on putting a weight/size goal on it now, just the general plan of being slim and healthy

Hello my dear! Finally gave in and taste tested the cupcakes, they were yummy! The father of the bride even described them as 'contraband'!
Had a lovely day, lazy shopping trip with my boy this morning to stock up on SW goodies, ready for Tues, managed to get a cappuccino muller light to sample
Made an amazing dinner this eve had friends round, so made a 'cowboy feast'! Best bit, although it wasn't 100% we could easily adapt it all to SW for future reference! It was ham boiled In diet coke, and pulled like pork, chicken thighs in chipotle paste (skin could be taken off), wedges (in air fryer), Mac & cheese (was a fatty version but could easily use bachelors for 2 syns), sweetcorn in lime butter (could leave out the butter), BBQ Beans (basically normal BB's, pimped out!, so SW friendly!), and garlic bread (only because we had one lying around the freezer!!
Was such a yummy dinner, and am looking forward to having it again, but a little healthier! The ham and beans were particular faves!

Lovely day back at Uni with my fellow students, and a pretty good food day, especially saying I'm not technically on plan yet!! Lots of fruit and veg, with a few naughties thrown in, but mainly good
Had cowboy leftovers this eve, just as good as it was first time, even though it was only SW friendly stuff left...it's amazing how I actually prefer healthy food!! weigh in tomorrow straight after work...Eeep!

Hello!! Thanks for stopping by! Yep, straight after work tomorrow eve
My pic is my little Bella, she's a rescue beagle, and she's bonkers, but can't be mad with her because she's too cute! Also have a staffy, who balances out the mental beagle!! I have no idea how you cope with two!! xx