So yesterday I decided to try something different that I haven’t done in years. I wrote from a friend’s Point of View. I took what I know about his situation & put his thoughts into my own words. He shall remain anonymous, but here is the result:

So I would like to start by saying that I have uploaded all of the official photos from the MAC state pageant to http://www.facebook.com/MsLAcoed14 be sure to go check them out & don’t forget to like the page while you’re there for continued updates!

Now, for todays daily writing I chose to do another of one of Rachael’s ideas. I am going to talk about how some song lyrics relate to my life right now. I actually just googled a song to go with a situation I’m in & I think the first one that popped up fits PERFECTLY! I cut out some of the repetition of the chorus, but here are the lyrics to the Hoobastank song, “Running Away.”

“I don’t want you, to give it all up

And leave your own life, collecting dust

And I don’t want you, to feel sorry for me

You never gave us, a chance to be

And I don’t need you, to be by my side

To tell me, that everything’s alright

I just wanted you, to tell me the truth

You know I’d do that for you

So why are you running away?

Why are you running away?

Cause I did enough, to show you that I

Was willing to give, and sacrifice

And I was the one, who was lifting you up

When you thought your life had had enough

And when I get close, you turn away

There’s nothing that I can do or say

So now I need you, to tell me the truth

You know I’d do that for you

Is it me, is it you?

Nothing that, I can do

To make you, change your mind – no

So why are you running away?

Why are you running away? (what is it, I have to say)

So why are you running away? (to make you admit, you’re afraid)

Why are you running away?”

You don’t have to continue reading if this post has gotten too long for you, I am just going to use this as an opportunity to vent basically. Perhaps the lyrics spoke to you & you just need to know that you are not the only one in your position.

Basically, this is something I have been dealing with, the guy I am interested in has decided to run away from all that our relationship offered him. & just like the song says, don’t feel sorry for me, I believe that, he’s the one I feel sorry for never giving us a real chance, he has no idea what all he’s missing.

& I don’t need him to sit & lie to me saying things are going to be okay when I know that is not true, his silence is hurting me more than his honesty. He hasn’t officially told me he wants to end things & if he does he needs to be up front with me & say that rather than continuing to string me along like he is. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy, whether you think the other person wants to hear what you have to say or not.

I understand that my guy has not had many people really be there for him in his life, for example he hasn’t seen his mom since he was about 3 months old. To him people aren’t reliable & I get that, but I really thought I had done enough to prove that I was different, I wanted to be a permanent fixture. At the same time I told him I would never try to hold him back & I have absolutely no interest in suffocating him, yet he is still running away. We are already long distance & he is moving even farther away rather than closer to me. He told me if we were in the same place he would fall in love with me. So does that scare him? Is that why he’s moving away rather than stay or come closer? I wish he could learn to trust. Me. & himself.

I know I can’t change his mind though, he’s hardheaded & stubborn just like I used to be. So I’m not going to try, I know he needs to figure things out on his own, just like I had to do for myself.

There’s a lot more to the story I am not going to share to the general public, but I do know he is scared & he is running, just like in this song & I just want to know, “What is it, I have to say… to make you admit, you’re afraid?”

So today my good friend Rachael Lee Clarkson (Stroud) released her new e-book entitled “Coffee & Keyboards.” I have already purchased it & fell instantly in love, as I do with all of her work. You can find more information about her book & how to purchase it on her blog here:

So chapter 2 is titled “Just Start Writing” & she challenges you to begin writing every single day. She listed a few ideas for themes to write about daily & I am choosing to write about number four today.

Rachael herself is a friend who has inspired me in many ways. She taught me what it was like to hang out & have fun with girls after years of having only male friends. She made having girlfriends fun! She did things like throw “Britney Spears” themed parties (although we turned out to look like the Spice Girls haha see photo below-Rachael is far left with her pup as Posh, & I’m far right as Sporty).

She set a great example for what it means to be a “God Chick.” She taught me what a healthy boyfriend/girlfriend relationship or courtship should look like. & now she is inspiring me to write. So we will see how this goes from here… In the mean time, check out her blog or one of her books or her website & let her inspire you!