Geekygirlification

Category Archives: Relationships

I looked at my husband.
He was crying like a baby, the sides of his face in my hands, his four days old stubble grazing my palms.
At that moment, the line between romantic affection and motherly love wasn’t there anymore and my heart went out to him like he was my own kid.
I felt like I was dying of cancer, not by suicide, and that he was my four year old son.
It was as if he had been looking at the doctors coming at our house for days and although he hadn’t quite figured out what really was wrong yet, he knew in his heart that his mother was going away, somewhere very far.
All I could think of was how he would get very lonely soon.

I sit down. Under the shade of a big apartment building, I sit down. Thirst for a glass of water was starting to get to me, but I have been thirsty for years now, for my baby boy’s face, my eyes heat up from not seeing his face for three years. I have a photo of him, but all babies look alike, even if they didn’t, who would have cared enough to set my boy apart? I ask people showing them the picture, but they barely seem to care. I am after all a nobody. My wife tried to make me believe that the “fereshta” (angel of death) took him, but I knew that wasn’t possible. My baby is so strong he can fight lions bare handedly.
But my boy has gone somewhere secret now, somewhere even his father is not allowed to know. But what his baby boy failed to understand was he was the only light in his father’s life. Now that he cannot see him face to face, most of his time is spent shutting his eyes closed. That’s the only way I can watch my baby boy these days.