Apologies if I misquote this, but would you believe I can't find it on the internet?

John Hegley wrote:Grandma was walking her dog by the canal,When she came across a foreign man who wasn't an Italian,It was Eric Cantona, he was sitting on a bench,Eric's a football star, Eric's French.

Eric asked the doggy's name, and Grandma said, "I call him Jesus, because he isn't just for Christmas",Then the doggy shat on Eric's bench, and Eric shrugged,"C'est la vie", but Grandma thought he said "Celery".

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks."To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln."If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.

Disclaimer: Anything I say on topics of Politics, Economics, Pychology, History, really anything not concerned with the natural sciences and mathematics and especially topics concerning human behavior and/or thoughts, that is not associated with a proper reference is pure speculation on my part.