Well, that was really stupid. That was the first thought that went through my mind as well as the minds of about 11 million other people when Tyson Apostol nonsensically changed his vote at Tribal Council, thereby ensuring his own departure after Russell passed off his hidden immunity idol to Parvati. What was he thinking? Why did he do it? The lanky wisecracker reveals all — right here, right now. (Check back tomorrow for an interview with ousted Hero James Clement.)

Let me ask you point blank: Where does your vote flip rank on the list of dumbest Survivor moves ever?
I would hope number one. I’ve been number one in so many things, I don’t want to lose it now.

Yeah.
I don’t even know his last name. I just know it starts with an R and ends in “bach” so Reichenbach is pretty good. Is that right? Is that his real name?

It is, actually. Well done. But I think he’s just edging you out on the moron meter.
I don’t know. He knew immediately… Well, he should have known immediately, but he probably didn’t. But I really thought… Well, once I did it I got pretty nervous and then I was like, “I still got a good chance at this.” And then when Russell panicked and ran around in a circle and gave the idol to Parvati, I was like, “Oh my God, I cannot believe this is happening.”

Explain to me what the hell you were thinking. I put my theory in the recap as to why you may have done it.
What was your theory?

That you were trying to buy a little good will with Russell so that down the line you could keep him as a possible back pocket option for an alliance.
That’s exactly what it was. I wanted him as a plan B. But I knew that we would be too strong if he had other allies in the game. So I wanted Parvati gone. That way Russell would have nowhere to go but to me. And I knew he had the idol, which I wanted for my own evil bidding. The difference between Russell’s game-plan and what I would do is that I would stab somebody in the back, but I would do it so gently that they actually liked me for it, while Russell would come in with a sickle. And once he was done chopping the person in the back, he would cut them into little pieces. And then I don’t know what he would do with them, but he would make it super painful. And that, I think, is a very faulty way to play the game in that you’re not gonna win anybody’s vote. I was kind of hoping that Russell would stick around, but out of nowhere else to go, he would have to come to me.

But couldn’t you have just kept your vote on Russell, gotten rid of Parvati on the re-vote, and he’s gonna still have to come to you anyway because he’s out of options?
Well, yeah. I wasn’t switching for him. I was switching because I wanted Parvati gone. And I thought she was the most dangerous. I didn’t know if there was going to be a tribe switch or a merge. I knew that she knew some people on the other side.

Did you tell anyone you were flipping your vote?
No. I didn’t tell a single soul. I didn’t tell anyone. I pretty much decided at the pulpit — that’s a pretty good word, pulpit.

Absolutely. I do what I can.
So I was sitting there and was, like, Russell, Danielle and Parvati know that we are splitting the votes 3-3. They all know this. So if Danielle and Parvati have half a brain in their head, they’re gonna vote for Russell, saving themselves. But I would prefer Parvati to go home before Russell and because I am the god of Survivor and can choose when anybody goes out, I thought I may as well send Parvati home for sure by switching my vote. That’s mostly what I was thinking.

You guys sensed that Russell or Parvati might be using the idol. Did the thought ever come up to vote for Danielle instead?
Yes, it actually did. Once we had laid all the plans and told everybody what were doing, it did occur to us to just get four people and vote out Danielle, because it would be unsuspected and there wouldn’t be any need for any super-strategic stuff going on. It could have been done easily.

But there are risks involved in that as well, if Russell gives her the idol.
Yeah, there are risks everywhere except if I had just stuck to the plan that we had come up with. The only thing that would have kept me in the game is to not have taken the risk when I didn’t have to, which I didn’t have to, but I still did. But you know, had it worked out the way I had it worked out in my mind, it would have made me look like a genius. I would have been a badass. But it didn’t work out. I’m still a badass, but people don’t know it.

I think you went from badass to just plain bad.
That’s true.

You said you knew Russell had the idol. Is that because Coach told everyone?Coach told me, and I told everyone else. Plus, there were trenches all over the camp around every tree. Russell would be like “Uh, I’m gonna take a dump and I’m gonna take this shovel with me.” And then he’d be gone for hours. I just assumed he wasn’t getting enough fiber.

Couldn’t he have just said “I’m going to do an interview”?
Yeah, he did that too. He’d say “I’m going to do an interview,” and we’d say “Yeah, an interview with the idol.”

Of course the thing you did that really set me off was when you advised Coach to stop telling his absurd stories and wearing feathers in his hair? Why, Tyson, why?
You know, he was, like, “Why do people think I’m a big joke?” And me, being the tender hearted soul that I am, I went, okay, he’s never heard it from somebody that’s close to him. And he needs to know. So I felt like I was doing him a huge favor. But I know, as a viewer, that that was probably the wrong move because we love Coach stories. We love feathers in the hair. I love all that stuff too, Dalton. Don’t get me wrong — I love it. But he wants to know why people are laughing at him, and the easiest thing to do was to tell him the truth.

Behavior like that will never get you promoted to Assistant Coach, my friend.
Promoted? I’ve been Assistant Coach. I was appointed Assistant Coach about a year ago!

But does that carry over to new seasons or do you have to start from scratch and work your way back up?
Are you kidding me? I had made it to coaching Coach! Doesn’t that make me above a coach? What’s above a coach — a general manager?

Well, you didn’t win Heroes vs Villains, but I did honor @tysonapostol recently as the best Survivor tweeter. That’s much better than a million dollars, right?
That was pretty good. You know, when you did that, I got 700 new followers in a day. I think you’re more powerful on Twitter than Ashton Kutcher.

Yeah, not so sure about that. Plus, I’m not married to Demi Moore, so he’s got me there.
Oh, you got him there. I guess we view Demi Moore differently.

To enjoy an exclusive deleted scene from last night’s episode, plus special pep talks that Tyson and James recorded for themselves before the game, check out the video player below. And for all the Survivor scoop sent right to you, follow me on Twitter @EWDaltonRoss.