Sounds like a Porno Movie title huh? I told one of the people in my group that I wrote that on my FB page. He said this should be the tag line: Baby, I’ll temper your chocolate! Wow. THIS is what chocolate does to us. As a bit of advice…do not EVER go into professional chocolate making. It will set out to kill you.

This week was a jumbled mess. Lets start with the cat. I had to take him to the doctor on Tuesday and after $500 later he is finally feeling a bit better. So YAY for that. I wont actually put whats wrong with him other then that if by this coming Monday something doesn’t happen, he will have to go in for an Enema.

But in the baking world we made fondant and gum paste flowers. While fun, its also tedious and annoying. I made a few pretty pieces and next week we have to ice and decorate two entire one layer cakes. I know, you’re wondering why this will be hard. Oh believe me. It will be. I’ve decided my circle cake will have an autumn theme and my square cake…no idea. Any ideas would be helpful.

Now we get to chocolates. Wednesday was AWESOME! Our group flowed and worked together. We produced three whole sets of chocolates and two that only needed to be dipped in dark chocolate the following day. By the end of the day I was in much pain, but I was happy with what we had done. Then Thursday came…

While we began with a bang, I tempered the white chocolate that would be shells and inside the ganache, another teammate tempered the dark chocolate while the other two made the ganache. All seemed to be going fine. Everything tempered, the white chocolate shells were molded and the icky cherry filling had been put in. We put it in the freezer to set up so we could cover the bottom with more white chocolate to create a beautiful piece of chocolate.

Then I fucked it up. Yup. That’s right. I take FULL blame. I pulled the chocolates out and applied the hot white chocolate to the frozen shells. And what happened? Well the white chocolate froze RIGHT away and while I tried to scrape it off and make it look pretty…it just looked like a hot mess. I was hot, tired and angry with myself for screwing up so epically. I set them aside to help my teammates with the other chocolates and then I would begin again. Begin the whole thing over again that is.

Well, Chef F saw these hot mess chocolates and yelled out: WHO DID THESE? I looked at him point blank and said: Chef I did that. Not my group, I did. I messed it up and I’m going to remake it. *Let me point out that the day before when people screwed up like that he made them throw it away and start over. I wasn’t trying to hide it, we were just working on two others that needed to be done. I was fully willing to remake it and take the shame of the hot mess* Well…I think the Chef either admired that I said it was all my fault and didn’t blame my group and then said I would remake it. Or maybe he just went crazy…

He brought it over and said: We can fix it. Yup. That’s what he said. You must know that when I’m angry at myself for fucking up and then someone comes along and is nice to me…I cry. I mean, that’s ALL I wanted to do. He helped me fix it and reminded me that while he may be hard and not so nice to us at times he was there to help I should have come to him. *DUDE! You THREW AWAY PEOPLES CHOCOLATES YESTERDAY THAT WAS A LOT LESS SHITTY THEN MINE* So granted I was confused and still mad at myself. I had to fight the urge to cry for about an hour.

All in all we got them done. A few were crap, but they all looked pretty to me. I went home in EPIC pain. I don’t know how I am going to get by in this industry.And on another whiny note, I was also slightly depressed because this one dude *who granted makes fun, in a all in fun sort of way* made fun of my tomato red face that I had when I came back from getting lunch. I don’t mind being made fun of, but when I get that red I get really self-conscious. Its because I have horrible allergies and asthma and if its hot and humid outside…no matter what I do I WILL get a tomato red face. I can’t help it and it really hurt my feelings. Now, he didn’t know that. But still. Dude, I’m still a girl and sometimes I don’t think I’m that pretty. So don’t make fun of me like that. But thanks for the funny tag line for my porno movie. :-D

Good lord life has been hard. First off its been a billion degrees here on the east coast. And then I have chocolates class with the devil himself *I know because he’s mean and adorable at the same time. Don’t you think that sounds like the Devil? I think so*

The baking kitchen last week by the time we left chocolates class was 95 degrees. That’s 12 hours of heat above 80ish. I think that’s how it started when we first got to class. And you know what…? Our teacher…the devil…told us to get wasted on Thursday. He said that’s the only way we could get through our chocolate class. Sadly we had no time to get wasted…hence…HE IS THE DEVIL!

What have we decided? We’ll buy a bottle of wine ever Wed and Thur and share it between the “cool” people. Yes, there is a cool group when it comes to chocolate. Not in it? Stop bitching and calling people cunts and crackers and being little shits. THEN maybe you’ll be in it and can partake of our wine.

On the flip side my cat is sick. He’s a boy cat and since Sunday has been bleeding and peeing where he shouldn’t be. Well…no cat should bleed, but you get my drift. My cats mean the world to me. I mean really. I am sitting here on my couch making sure he’s not dead, drinking…a LOT and crying. If something would happen to my cats then the Devil will have a SHIT storm to deal with.

So my week has been crazy. I skipped class today. I don’t care, it wasn’t cakes or chocolates. I don’t give a shit. Hopefully this week gets better. Pray for me you non-sinners. Only you can save me…or maybe that bottle of vodka on my counter…

Little tiny grains of sands metamorphosing, mutating, morphing into giant, endless billows of thick earth, blanketing us, raining down on us as we sit across each other in your car, where the sound is muffled and the sky is falling. No one wants to leave it like this, a cliffhanger to mull over all night, but no one knows how to tie our loose ends so we can say goodnight in peace

Along with this picture…

I feel a bit like that girl in the picture, and the words that go along with it. Sometimes. Engulfed and overtaken by so many things crashing over you all at once. Like a wave. But isn’t that life? Its not complicated. We go through each day not knowing what the end will be. Sometimes I get this way, wondering what’s to come. Wondering who I might actually be in the Universe that we live in.

Last week was a killer for me. It has left me physically and emotionally drained and it was only the first week of 10 weeks to come. But I digress. I’m done. I needed a moment where I stand looking over that dark chasm, wondering what would happen if I fall. But thankfully, I never fall.

So you all know that I am a geek? Or is it nerd? Whichever one has to do with comics/movies/tv shows. Actually, I’m probably both. But whatever! The point is…Captain America.

So at first I didn’t want to see it. At first meaning the first preview was awful and I had no desire to see it. Then they got better and better and now I am SO excited to see it. Though I have one issue…

That WOMAN! Whatever her name is. So we have our main character who starts are scrawny and short. But he has a heart of gold and if it were me I’d be in love with him just for that. This woman, in all of her “beauty” *yeah, she’s pretty and yeah she has an hot accent. But whatever* has no interest in him AT ALL. UNTIL…dun dun dun…he suddenly is all HOT and Godlike. WTF girl? Or rather…WTF Captain America. Why would you love a woman who loved you for your hot self and not your inner self. Now, I’ve never read the comic and I haven’t seen the movie. So maybe she loved him from the beginning. I don’t know. But the previews are not spinning it that way and I am very disappointed in American Cinema for doing this.

I will still see the movie though. I actually cannot WAIT! But I can’t wait even more for the Avengers. Cus of two words: Joss Whedon. Um YEAH, sign me up for that.I’ll leave you with this. I had a conversation with my brother who is 12 years older then me and loves all things comic books. But we both have a love for movies. We were talking about what I just posted about and this was his response: “I KNOW! I feel the same way about that woman. What will the Dylans of the world think?” *Dylan is his 3 year old son.* I love my brother, just for that sentence alone. :-D

I should be doing homework…but I’m not. My wrist hurts and all I want to do is drink cocktails and ignore the world. Well, not the world because I saw Harry Potter earlier today, had dinner with my Uncle and found out they killed Chewbacca. WTF!? Who KILLS CHEWBACCA! In what universe is that right?

Oh…school you ask? How is that? Eh. I have two management classes which are fine. One is super fun, the other involves math and should be interesting. And then I have the HUGE ASS for both Fancy Cakes and Chocolates.

I mean, he’s okay. He thinks he’s Gods gift to pastry. But whatever. I can get over that. He cooks for Obama. But so does another Chef of mine and he is so NOT an Ass, unless he doesn’t like you and then beware. This guy is an ass to everyone. We spent FOUR hours piping shit icing *made up of Shortening and Powdered sugar. Its hard as SHIT to pipe.

I’m tiny. 5’2 with a hand span of 4 inches long. Its fraking HARD to hold a bag full of what I can only describe as CEMENT for four hours. And every time he went to see what someone was doing this was what he said: “That looks like shit.” He’s also something that I don’t know. He has an accent from god knows where. I think I may start to make tshirts that say that and wear it and walk around him showing it off. The class should be okay when we’re finally done with this piping shit. I do not CARE about shells or whatever the frak you are trying to show me. Because you say one thing…and do another. *Srsly…that’s what he does. Says how we should do it and then shows how to do it another way*

But enough of the complaining. It should be a fun class. And then I have chocolates after…with the same guy. But he’s okay in that, he hates this one group of girls who are…I think the devils angels they are so annoying. The only issue with chocolates is that by the time we have the class its almost 90 degrees in the room…and chocolate doesn’t like heat y’all. I think I’ll start that tshirt place now. Go visit it! If just for laughs.

I’ll let you know how next week goes. We’re seeing if we can make even cakes and put fondant on. ALSO I am making an armadillo cake for a friend. I’ll put that up here and tell you all about it.

PS. Don't know the ins and outs of Zazzle...I'll post that site later...

Wow...that whole title is screwed up! So screwed up I think I'll keep it. Apparently I am not able to type out what my mind is actually thinking...PLUS I just got fortune cookie stuck in my space bar key thingy so it keeps sticking the words together. The Title was supposed to read: School Starts on Monday. I think I like Achoo Starts on Money. :-D

4th of July came and went. I watched The Twilight Zone for two straight days...AND saw Transformers 3 twice. I also made fried chicken and German Potato Salad. All in all it was uneventful. I've decided I'd like to go to NY for next 4th of July because their fireworks were SO AWESOME!

School starts on Monday. I am NOT looking forward to it. Its going to be hectic and crazy and I may have to make my own homemade pepper spray. I watched some survivor show and they showed you how to make it. I'm not sure if its legal to carry pepper spray on the metro...but mine will be HOMEMADE! Or I'll just carry one of my knives with me. If they ask to see my bag*since thats what the DC metro does now* and they are all: Why do you have a knife in your bag? I can just answer truthfully! I go to Culinary School. :-D

Why you ask, do I have to carry weapons with me? Well I have a class on Wed and Thur thats goes until 10:30 pm. And Rosslyn, where my school is...can get shady. Granted I'm not going to be the ONLY one taking the class...but I have to transfer to another line and it could be annoying to deal with people who I don't want to deal with. HENCE the reason for homemade pepper spray.

One other thing before I go...I'm afraid to mow my lawn. There are HUGE killer wasps *I really think some evil scientist created them to kill me* because they are mean and crazy! So yeah, if anyone has any ideas on how to get rid of said killer wasps let me know...or how to mow without them killing me.

About Me

A Chef! I am a Soap Opera...really I am. You just have to keep reading to figure it all out. I wish I were as funny as I thought I was. But I do have intresting thoughts. I want to change things at Disney, because I love them. So one day I will work for them, and change how the see people.