Monday, April 30, 2012

The biggest difference was made when I learned to recognize the language of life in contrast to the kind of dialog running in the back of my mind like the subtitle of a silent movie that left me feeling hopeless, helpless and powerless over my life.

One of the first things I learned and one of that last things I "got" ..

Was understanding the difference

Between feeling powerless

and

Being powerless.

Making the connection between my (then) today where I felt powerless

and that this was a normal response

to having actually

been powerless

in my past

was

well

HUGE.

This

I came to understand

was why

in my (then) today

I continued to

feel

powerless...

And this was not at all helped by all the helpful folks who kept reminding me

just

how

powerless

I

really, really

was.

You know?

Those groups where the first thing we have to admit to is being

powerless?

Then all the other well intentioned folk

the therapists

counselors

friends

family

who were telling me I was such a control freak and needed to

let go.

Telling me that I couldn't control everything, that I needed to accept life as it was...

but...

no one ever told me what I

did

have power over.

So I continued on

trying to do my best

do what I was told

trying to do it

right

only it never was

right enough.

And what I've discovered along the way is ...

that I could unveil

uncover

and activate

my

power

by checking and challenging

the language I used

every day

all the time

that told me that I was

powerless.

And that while I was powerless over people places and things outside of myself

I held the power to become the creator of my life

that I would no longer be a victim of life.

So - thank you therapists, friends, family and those 12 step groups that mean well but

to tell someone who has never owned their own intrinsic magical and mystical power

that they are

powerless

ya...

well..

not so helpful.

In order to learn to let go of the learned external controlling of people places circumstances and things....

In the end - the change came in choosing to move on to learning how to regulate my life from the inside out by

changing my language from that of despair

to that of design.

The language of life is where I learned to make the shift from "tell me what to do to be well so I can live well" to...

"I am well and can learn how to live".

Here's to you, you amazing beam of light and life!

You got the magic in you!

I'm beaming at your brilliance!

Susan:)

PS...

We may have been powerless.

We may feel powerless yet that is very different from actually being powerless.

Learning to speak and listen for the language of life became one of the truths that set me free.

Those who told or tell you that you are powerless....may actually believe that they too are powerless and are here only to be tossed in the storm of life, that its no use to try to "create" our life because we in the end are simply here to live until we die.

And while there are things that are beyond our control?

We are always in control of the story we tell ourselves about those things.

Uh huh:)

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

This is the place where I give responsibility to those who let me down

And take responsibility for becoming the creator of my own "best" life.

Focusing on my pain, seeking sympathy in the guise of "support" kept me stuck and struggling for many many years.

I'd been victimized - I was no longer a victim.

I had survived - but wanted to live beyond survival.

This is my passion today...

To share the truth that set me free and allowed me to become the creator of my "best life" vs the perpetual victim of life.

The biggest lesson I learned about the emotional healing journey?

Is that its not about "fixing" what was broken

but about learning how to live.

This week...

Use your inner wisdom to guide you to a place where you are allowed to feel your pain and grow through it instead of staying stuck in it.

Thank the helpful friends who offer their sage advice and - find those who will allow you your voice.

Seek comfort in compassion vs distraction.

Learning to sit with and go through our pain is how we grow beyond it.

I'm sorry you suffered.

I'm sorry for the losses you experienced...

I feel angry knowing that there are many who have experienced RBT's* at the hand of those who were intended to love, honor and cherish...charged to nurture, guide and celebrate the life that lives in you.

And I'm so

so

so

grateful

You have chosen to share the journey.

We were powerless.

We are no more.

We can take back our todays

Create our tomorrows

And live the life we adore.

You've got the magic in you.

Now...

Lights!

Camara!

Action!

You're on!

Let your light shine in the way you create your life.

It. Is. Never

"Too late".

Always there...

Susan

We can learn to live beyond the pain of the past and take back our tomorrows by the way we choose to live our today.

True story:)

RBT's* = Really Bad Things (and I am so so sorry you or someone you know may have experienced RBT's)

Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

Monday, April 16, 2012

A day in my journey of self discovery
September 29 2010
Newport Beach California

Today a note from the Empowering Solutions Community page...

For those of us who grew up in chaos, dysfunction, neglect,
abuse or other physcial psychological, emotional violations we can be stuck in
survival mode.

This is where we are on constant lookout for the next
"shoe to drop", ready to "fight", "flight" or
"freeze".

We are working and putting out so much energy to survive
because we never learned how to "live".

We often lack the life, coping and social skills that are
the foundation of a healthy, interdependent "self" and life.

The empowering solution for me became learning to recognize
"survival" mode and being able to step back from that while I learned
the life and coping skills that would enable me to create my"self"
and "get a life" that I so desperately wanted and deserved.

We were wounded and left unprepared yes; the good news is
that we can learn to give ourselves today what we did not get in our yesterdays.

The journey is one of self-discovery, the finding of our
"self" and the inner wisdom that allows us to know what to do when in
our head and experience we have no clue what to do.

We can learn to no longer be a victim of life but the
creator of our best life where we are survivors of bad things but no longer
live only to survive.

If you would like to get the daily notes and posts in your own Facebook stream you are invited to come by, "Like" the Empowering Solutions Community page and join this growing community:) Get there by clicking here.

Always grateful you choose to share your light and life with us here:)

Friday, April 13, 2012

This past past week was another Holiday....yet for SRBT's holidays aren't always happy and in fact can often be connected to our trauma experiences.

From the Empowering Solutions page at Blog Talk Radio....

Too often Survivors of family dysfunction are left "holding the bag" so to speak. We have learned to "shut up and put up" with ongoing family drama that can quickly shift from uncomfortable to tension to subtle - or not so subtle - verbal or emotional or even physical abuse.

Often we are left wondering whats "wrong" with us and we resort to isolation to avoid the pain of what the rest of the world views through the lens of Hallmark type happiness: the cards, the gifts, the fluff. This can serve only to make our sense of isolation and inadequacy seem amplified and reinforce the idea that if we aren't happy and joining in the festivities....that truly something IS wrong with us.

Tune in for this special holiday edition for some em.powering solutions and discover how to write your own new ending to this type of fairy tale by learning to separate ourselves from our "normal" and know that its ok to create a new, healthy normal for ourselves.

What are some of your empowering solutions for making holidays happier? How do you set yourself up for success and avoid the drama that can come up?

Seek Knowledge, find Wisdom, live your Truth!

Go here www.empoweringsolutionsnow.com to register to get more empowering solutions in your inbox and be on the list to receive my gift to you, my first ebook when it is published: Empowering Solutions: From the Beginning.

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Cathy Harris on BTR: Helping Mental Health providers to make the shift to TIC perspective models of careclick here to go there.

This Blog...

...and the resources here are meant to be fuel that might encourage you to think, ask questions, find your own answers and hopefully support you as you walk your path and create your own best life which is in the simplest terms - the life you choose for yourself each day!

zebisms

We do not need to "change"; we need to "grow" and when we grow...we change. ~SusanKs 10/21/12

To change my life? I had to engage with learning to create change consciously; this is not a passive process. ~SusanKs 10/21/12

Its not about being perfect - its about knowing I'm perfect as I am. ~Sks 2012

To create your own "best lifle" begin by asking "what do I like and not like". Then purpose to be true to your truth. ~sks Mar. 2012

In seeking to live beyond survival - the first step was to choose this path. The second step was to take the first step over and over and over. ~ Susan Oct. 2010

"Being willing to become aware of one's own thoughts, emotions and physical being is the beginning of finding ones own power." ~zebism

"Knowledge is the beginning of the truth that sets me free - every time." ~Susan via "A Journey"

“Insight comes from new information that leads us to the awareness that will empower us to create our own change.” ~ HoZ's via @zebraspolkadots

When I began to see life as my "teacher" instead of my "problem" I became the student who was "ready". ~zebism

"When my focus became where I wanted to go instead of where I hated being....I arrived at my destination." ~zebism

Even the greatest suffered...

Great people who have done great things did not have to be perfect before they could do great things. Van Gough cut off his ear and quite often great artists have been thought to be "unbalanced" or "mad" in their creativity.

My Profile

I survived a life of trauma then I survived and escaped psychiatry and the health care that cost me my health and 25 years of my life. I am an avid learner and lover of knowledge. Today I share the learnings that became the truths that set me free and on a path to knowing how to create my "best life".

My Version of the poem by Patrick Overton

When I came to the edge of all the light that I had and I had to take a step into the darkness of the unknown, I truly believed that one of two things would happen to me; either there would be something to stand on, or, I would be taught how to fly.

And as I stood at the edge of that mountain, trembling in fear, tears streaming down my face, I leaned into the wind...