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Welcome!

THE MISSION

The mission of Secular Safe House is to provide temporary housing search assistance, as well as online programs and services to support those coming out of religion, cults or as LGBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender) from religious environments.

WHY THE NEED

When someone determines they no longer believe in religion, decides to leave a cult or come out as LGBT from a religious environment, often they have no friends or family to support them. In some religions/cults those who leave or come out are shunned or at least socially ostracized by the only support system they know. Sometimes a spouse or parent will even kick them out of the home and leave them with no way to support themselves. SSH exists to provide the support one coming out needs when their own family and friends turn their backs.

We are in the process of building a network of professionals, volunteers, transitional homes, private homes and facilities, so that we can provide the following support services for those coming out. All services are subject to availability:

Assistance searching for temporary housing — a “safe house” — for those displaced by coming out. “Temporary” can include days, weeks or months — as necessary and appropriate.

Travel expenses to a safe house when a local one is not available or appropriate.

Access to online support programs and a community of others who have come out.

NOTE: It is not the purpose or intention of Secular Safe House to “convert” those who may still hold certain religious beliefs to atheism or any other form of non-belief. Our goal is to offer support in a non-judgmental, non-religious environment as our clients work through their own coming out process. However, it is a part of our mission to raise awareness of the destructive impact religion can have on individuals, families and communities.

COMING OUT CONVERSATIONS

“Coming Out Conversations” are podcasts featuring interviews with those who have come out of religion, cults, or as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered (LGBT) from religious environments and their advice for others having doubts or contemplating coming out, as well as interviews with those who have come out as secular activists and leaders. If you have a coming out story you would like to share, please contact us. To receive email notifications when new podcasts are posted or other SSH news, subscribe to our mailing list (top left).

JOIN OUR FACEBOOK GROUP

Support those coming out or just be a part of our community by joining our Facebook group:

Troy Fitzgerald was raised in a religious cult — the Worldwide Church of God (aka Armstrongism) — as the son of a pastor and is now a secular humanist. He came out as gay later in life after being married to a woman and starting a family, having been in denial of his sexuality due to his religious indoctrination. He and his ex-wife, who was raised in the same cult and is now also a secular humanist, remain close friends and partners in raising their family. He wrote a book about his coming out, Cults and Closets: Coming Out of Chaos.

As a result of publishing his book and getting more connected with the struggles of others with similar backgrounds, he became very passionate about providing a voice, support, and safe refuge for others coming out of religion, cults and as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered (LGBT).

His professional background is in website and media production management, he has owned his own small businesses, and is an artist who loves to build things. He is the proud father of three sons and lives in Colorado.

ACCOUNTABILITY AND TRANSPARENCY

We are committed to establishing and running this non-profit with integrity, accountability and transparency.

BECOME AN ALLY

Please join us in our mission to provide a safe, secular refuge for those looking to liberate themselves from destructive religious institutions and religiously-abusive families. If you would like to become an ally of Secular Safe House, please visit our Volunteer page.

“Coming Out Conversations” Podcast

"Coming Out Conversations" are podcasts featuring interviews with those who have come out of religion, cults, or as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered (LGBT) from religious environments and their advice for others having doubts or contemplating coming out, as well as interviews with those who have come out as secular activists and leaders. If you have a coming out story you would like share, please contact us.

Episode 29: Michelle - Quiverfull Movement Michelle, the fifth child of six, was raised in a Christian home church and then a mainstream, non-denominational evangelical church. However, from the time she was five, her parents were a part of the Quiverfull movement, a conservative evangelical Protestant ideology that promotes patriarchy, procreation, sees children as a blessing from God, and avoids all forms of birth control, including family planning. Her father and, eventually, her husband (who ultimately landed himself in prison for pedophilia), were outspoken activists against LGBT rights and abortion who protested in front of abortion clinics and courthouses. She was also active with street preaching in her late teens and early 20's.

Episode 28: Janette - Church of Scientology Janette was raised in a liberal Catholic family and rarely attended church, but she had an uncle who was a Scientologist. When she moved out of state at the age of 19 and stayed with him, she was introduced to the church and slowly plugged into what she thought was more of a self-help organization. Going to church -- as most of us think of it - wasn’t something she was interested in at that age. Over time, she became more involved and by the time she married and began raising a family, the only people she associated with where in Scientology. After losing their home due to pressure to donate a large sum to the church, she and her husband began having doubts about the church and ultimately left, losing nearly their entire social network and both of their jobs all in the same week.

Episode 27: Kevin - Jehovah's Witnesses, Gay Kevin, the youngest of five boys, grew up in the Jehovah's Witnesses church and came out as both a non-believer and as gay at the age of 19. His parents, each of his older brothers, and his friends from church immediately shunned him and his parents kicked him out of the home. He was homeless with no place to turn. He managed to find support elsewhere and get back on his feet, find employment and continue his education.

Episode 26: Eric - Baptist, Transhumanism Non-Profit Co-Founder Eric was born and raised in the Baptist church until his family switched to an evangelical denomination in his teens. A musician, he was very active in the church and their youth program. In his late teens he decided it was time to do a deeper study of the foundations of Christianity, not because he had doubts, but just to bolster his faith. As a result he came to the realization that it had no foundation in reality, rational thinking or logic. As he entered his early 20's, he had lost all belief and had a falling out with his parents who condemned his non-belief and life choices that didn't fit their worldview. A self-described "militant atheist," he is the co-founder of a non-profit dedicated to raising awareness about and the advancement of transhumanism.

Episode 25: Bo - Jehovah's Witnesses, Activist, AAWA Bo Juel Jensen , born in Denmark, was raised in Norway in the Jehovah's Witnesses church. He's an activist in the former JW community and founding board member of the Advocates for Awareness of Watchtower Abuses (AAWA), an international not-for-profit educational organization dedicated to raising awareness about the damaging influence of policies of the Watch Tower Society (the printing company behind the JW religion). A victim who was molested by a church elder for four years, he has appeared on Norwegian television explaining Watchtower’s mishandling of child abuse. At the age of nine, he finally gained the courage to tell his parents about the abuse. After taking the case to the police, the perpetrator was disfellowshipped from the church, but never prosecuted because Bo's parents were pressured by the church to drop their complaint. The perpetrator was allowed back into the church, molested more children, was disfellowshipped again and allowed to return yet again. Due to the abuse Bo suffered and realizations in his teens, doubts turned to secret disbelief, and he finally left the church at the age of 23. His wife immediately divorced him and he hasn't seen his daughter, who is now 22, since she was nine due to the shunning policy of JW's. As a result, he's become a passionate activist.

Episode 24: Scott - LDS Church (Mormonism) Scott was born and raised in the LDS church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and was an active member for 48 years. He spent the last ten years wrestling with doubts and finally exited the church, while his wife and the children they raised in the church remained. The seeds of doubt were planted when he was a young missionary, mostly due to the "slick sales tactics" used in their proselytizing. He held many leadership positions during his years in the church, but was blacklisted for some roles due to his first divorce. When he left, his marriage and his relationship with his mother nearly came to an end. He still believed in Jesus and attended a Presbyterian church for two years, was baptized again, and became an elder, before he finally lost belief in any religion due to his tendency to study and research. During those two years he became a Freemason which gave him a sense of community. He no longer believes in Christianity or any religion, but considers himself an open-minded, liberal deist.

Episode 23: Jeff - United Church of God Jeff, the oldest of 5 kids, was born and raised in the Worldwide Church of God, but at the age of 11 his parents left to join a new church, United Church of God, which split off of the WCG due to massive doctrinal changes they did not agree with. He was home schooled and largely taught himself, which made him self-reliant and independent. An analytical, science-loving student, by the time he was a teen he was already beginning to secretly doubt the teachings of the church, and before he was 18, he didn't believe in the religion or Christianity at all. He watched his friends who left the church be shunned and ostracized and, despite being hounded for his "rebellious attitude," he continued to attend until he was 21 when he could move out on his own.

Episode 22: Alex - Jewish Orthodoxy, Pentecostal, Gay Alex was not raised going to church, but he started reading the Bible at the age of 10 due to encouragement from his religious grandfather. He began watching televangelists at age 11 and started attending the Assembly of God church when he was 12, on his own. From there he moved on to the Oneness Pentecostal church where he attended until he was 22 when he came out as gay to his parents and pastor and was kicked out of the church as a result. Having accepted his sexuality, he converted to Jewish Orthodoxy, which was more accepting -- though not officially -- of his sexual identity. He eventually came to realize he is an atheist, although he would continue attending synagogue for the community and still does on occasion, though he is out about being gay and atheist.

Episode 21: Chad - Catholic, Iraq War Vet (Navy Corpsman Chad served on the front lines in the Iraq war as a Navy corpsman (medic) and now suffers from PTSD. He was raised Catholic, but attended other churches with friends during high school. He attended a non-denominational Christian church for two years after high school (where he met his wife, the daughter of the pastor) before entering the Navy. Due to the traumatizing experiences in Iraq and becoming a father after his return (triplets), he began questioning his faith for the first time and became an atheist to the chagrin of his wife and in-laws.

Episode 20: Dawn - Catholic, Jehovah's Witnesses, Gay Dawn was raised in the Catholic church on a ranch in south Texas. She lost interest in Catholicism due to her parents divorcing when she was 14 and she slowly became estranged from them. In her late teens she came to believe she was bisexual, but was mostly in denial about her sexuality. After she left the Catholic church and moved in with a boyfriend at 19, she was introduced to the Jehovah’s Witnesses and attended for a year before walking away from religion completely. She eventually came to realize she is gay and atheist and is now engaged to marry her transgender (female to male) partner of three years.

Episode 19: Ryan - Evangelical, Activist in U.S. Military Ryan, a Captain in the U.S. Army, was raised in an evangelical Christian home, but began having doubts about religion at an early age. By the time he entered the military, he was an atheist. After having an alarming experience with a military chaplain who berated him for being a non-believer, he became an activist seeking change inside the military. He is a humanist lay leader (similar to humanist chaplain) and is pushing for the U.S. Army to sanction humanist chaplains within the military.

Episode 18: Ruben - Jehovah's Witnesses Ruben is a former member of the Jehovah's Witnesses cult and founded a support group on Facebook for former members. He left the church at the age of 28 after his marriage ended due to his wife having an affair and he had an epiphany while exploring other relationships and suddenly realized he had no guilt about doing so, even though his marriage was not legally finalized.

Episode 17: Tracey - Worldwide Church of God Tracey is a former member of the Worldwide Church of God. She came into the church with her mom at the age of 11 when she was living in small-town Nebraska and moved to a small city not far from the church's headquarters in Pasadena, CA when she was 15.

Episode 16: Kyria - Jehovah's Witnesses Kyria was born and raised in the Jehovah’s Witness cult and wrote a book about her experience entitled “I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed” (Simon and Schuster), which she wrote with a more lighthearted, humorous twist, and she runs a Facebook support group for former JW’s by the same title.

Episode 15: Scott - Self-Realization Fellowship (Ashram Monk) Scott recently came out as a former monk and atheist and launched a blog about his experience. He shares about his 14 years in a Yoga-Meditation cult including his daily metaphysical practices and activities as a monk, his struggles with celibacy and ashram politics and coming out as an atheist.

Episode 14: Larry - Wordwide Church of God Larry is the grandson of Herbert W. Armstrong, the founder of the cult/church, the Worldwide Church of God. He is the eldest child of Herbert’s eldest daughter, Beverly. He attended with his family until his parents were disfellowshipped when he was 13. He attended the church's Ambassador College when he was 29 even though he was still not a member of the church.

Episode 13: John - Jehovah's Witnesses Former member of the Jehovah's Witnesses and a recently disfellowshipped and marked "apostate" due to a website and blog he's operated for two years, www.jwsurvey.org. He tells of his warning to the church elders during his "Judicial Committee" meeting should they encourage his family to shun he and his wife.

Episode 12: Sharon - Worldwide Church of God, Gay Former member of the Worldwide Church of God, daughter of an elder, attended Ambassador University after the cult's largest schism of its history, left the church, got married to man who also attended AU, and then she came out as gay after 11 years of marriage.

Episode 11: Ethan - Jehovah's Witnesses Former Jehovah's Witnesses member who left the cult when he was 19. Before being officially disfellowshipped, he produced a YouTube channel with videos sharing his questions and doubts about the cult before being summoned by the elders for his Judicial Committee, which he secretly and legally recorded.

Episode 10: Lee - A-News Podcast Host and Godless Revival Founder A-News Podcast host, Vice President of We Are Atheism, Founder of Godless Revival, raised by non-practicing Southern Baptist parents, known in school as "that guy who doesn't believe in God," assaulted with a knife by Christian "6-ft, tobacco-chewing, redneck racists."

Episode 9: Rebecca - Worldwide Church of God Former Worldwide Church of God member and daughter of a pastor. Taught in Sri Lanka on behalf of the church, entered the ministry with her husband, launched school in Sri Lanka before leaving the church.

Episode 7: Andrew - Philadelphia Church of God, Gay Former Philadelphia Church of God member who left the cult and came out as gay six months ago. He lost his hearing in one ear in his early 20's due to the cult's beliefs in faith healing and avoiding medical intervention.

Episode 6: Suzanne - Jehovah's Witnesses, Bisexual Former Jehovah's Witness who left high school to evangelize door-to-door full-time at the age of 16 after being raped and accused of lying about it by church elders, left the church and religion at 24, and then came out as bisexual.

Episode 5:Deborah - Worldwide Church of God Former Worldwide Church of God member who was the cult founder's niece and suffered physical and emotional abuse as a child. She shares what the founder's family dynamics were like and her opinions about allegations that he committed incest.

Episode 4: Daniel - LDS Church (Mormonism) Former Mormon who shares what those two year missions are really like and how his crisis of faith was triggered by God's failure to help him achieve the calling he was handed as a child in his "patriarchal blessing."

Episode 3: Mike - Alliance Church, Gay Former Alliance Church member who came out as atheist and gay at the age of 22 and endured his mother’s attempt to trick him into seeing a reparative therapist.

Episode 2: Shane - Pentecostal Church Former Pentecostal Church member raised in the "back woods" of rural northeast Texas, endured an “exorcism” at the age of 11, and left that church when his "Gram" (grandmother) took half the congregation with her.

Episode 1: Lisa - Jehovah's Witnesses Former Jehovah's Witness who left the church at 17, keeping one foot in the faith until she lost her daughter who was born prematurely and was shunned by her family due to being honest with them about her doubts.