Have a Windows 7 machine with terabytes of HDD space and 8 Gigs RAM. Two iTunes libraries (mine and my wife's with about 10% file overlap). Two iPhone 5s (iOS 6.0.2), 1 iPad 2 (iOS 6.0.1), 1 iPad 3 (iOS 5.1.1), and a jailbroken iPhone 3GS 32 GB that we've converted to an iPod essentially (iOS 3. something--not willing to update given the historically bad performance of the new iOS on the 3GS). Running iTunes 10 (also not willing to update to 11 after reading reviews).

I get multiple errors in both libraries with lots of popup boxes saying devices cannot connect, be properly identified, or sync, etc. Disconnecting and reconnecting via cable is marginally better (more so with the 3GS less with the iPads).

I'd like to be able to link certain devices to certain libaries (i.e. my iPhone5 and iPad3 with my library and my wife's iPhone5, iPad2, iPhone 3GS with her library). Instead it seems the wrong devices always show up or none at all.

Any suggestions would be most welcome. I have a moderately high level of tech expertise, so if there are scripts or hacks to be written/run I wouldn't be shy about trying them. Also would consider an iTunes alternative given that Apple isn't interested in supporting users with massive music libraries who need powerful databases as opposed to the dumbed down stuff they are trying to push in 11.

Thanks!

PS also my home sharing doesn't work at all on any device, but that seems to be Apple standard