Tag Archives: love

Is it in the face, the smile, the eyes? Or is it the personality, the humour, the kindness, the courage? Or is it all of that and so much more?

When I think of beauty, I see strength, courage, wisdom, and authenticity. I see a woman who loves herself unconditionally, believes in her dreams, and creates her own path in life. I see a woman who smiles with her heart.

To celebrate 30 Days Of Beauty, I asked some of the most beautiful women I know to write about what makes them beautiful, by answering one question:

What puts the YOU in beaYOUtiful?

I am very excited and honoured to be able to bring you this post today. There is so much beauty and wisdom here, and all my gratitude goes to all the amazing women who shared their beauty so authentically and openly.

I am beautiful because I’m silly, laugh a lot, breakout in dance at least 5 times a day & teach my children what Joy is by example. I am beautiful because I am doing what I love & encouraging others that they can do the same. I’ve got a few businesses under my belt that did make it off the ground but they didn’t fly for very long. Even after those failings (lessons), I didn’t give up. I stitched up my wings, let them heal & took off again, creating something that brings people together in a positive & loving way. I created something that constitutes as heartwork & also provides for my family. I am beautiful because I believe in everybody. I believe that you can overcome most anything & ride the wind smiling, in the flight pattern of your choice, no matter how heavy your baggage is. I am beautiful because I trust & believe in the potency of love.

If you would have asked me this question in high school, I would have said my eyes. If you would have asked me in college, I would have said my drive. And asking myself this question now, I have a completely different answer. (Of course!)

It’s my light.

There are so many facets of a person that can make them beautiful. It can be your smile, your heart, your kind eyes, your humor … But I feel our personalities are like a river. We’re always moving, sometimes changing direction, at times rising (and falling), but at the end of it we are always there. We have the force, over time, to change rocks and the ability to carry others.

But most importantly, we sparkle in the light. We become a brighter, more inviting version of ourselves. Just like a river, it’s when people are drawn to us the most.

So next time you’re feeling down, and not-so-beautiful, remember: We always have beauty within us, but it’s our light that can change the appearance of everything around us.

I believe there are two of us within each of us. There is our Human side, which the world sees. It represents our physical experience. It is packed full of emotions, passions, hunger, dreams, and competition. A body and a mind designed to make mistakes, to learn, to grow. It is where anger, vanity, sadness, hopelessness resides.

The other side is our Spirit side. This is where pure joy and love resides. The laughter, the songs, the energy that lights up a room. It is the magnet that draws people in. The love of mother and child and best friends. Our Spirit side is our truth, our extreme knowledge and wisdom of all that is. It is forgiveness and peace. It is who we really are – the very essence of our Being.

I am BeaYOUtiful because I am aware that my Spirit side is alive within me, ALWAYS. When I tap into my Spirit, I tap into an energy of love source more powerful and more important than me, because it is connected to YOU.

For me, being beautiful is about being in love with the person you are. Self-love and self-acceptance are the two most important things when it comes to true beauty. The more you love yourself — the more beauty you possess, both inside and out.

What makes me beautiful is the fact that I accept who and what I am and do what I can to focus on the positive aspects of me. Dwelling on the negative only brings you down. Focus on what you love about yourself and your true beauty will always shine through!

Most people don’t think of beauty when they’re hot and sweaty, but I do. I’m a yogi, I practice Baptiste yoga, which is vinyasa yoga done in a 95-100 degree room. I’m slick with sweat by the time we’re ten minutes in and feeling so very powerful. It’s hard and I try so hard, this is what makes me beautiful.

How often when something is hard or it hurts do we stop? We shy away from the discomfort, we take the easier path.

For me, the motivating factor is always fear, I’m afraid it’ll hurt, I’m afraid that I can’t do it.

I’m afraid of what it will mean if I can do it.

That’s the one that always trips me up, I’m afraid of what it will mean if I actually can do it.

When you work towards something, even when it hurts, even if you’re scared, that’s such a lovely thing.

I’m beautiful because I like to ignore the voice that starts sentences with “I’m afraid…”

I’m beautiful because every time I say yes to trying, I’m saying no to self-doubt.

The other day I was giving some unrequested “sage mother” advice to my daughter – that kindness is the most important quality in life. When you think about it, what situation is not made better by kindness?

I think of kindness as that gentleness that allows others their own space, their own lives and frees me from judgment. It’s the choice to look for the best intentionally.

It’s coming from the soft space inside that opens to kindness like a rose opening to the sun.

I know my beauty is in my kindness, in the gentleness of my spirit, in my choice to embrace the best.

The beauty industry has most people convinced that if we don’t use special creams and pricey injections to ward off the aging process, we could all shrivel up like raisins in the blink of an eye. But I think those who say “beauty is only skin deep” are wrong.

Natural, ageless beauty is actually soul deep. We age from the inside out, not the outside in. Science has proven that people who are genuinely happy live longer, more fulfilling lives.

To boost my own happiness, I have learned to appreciate the beauty and blessings in each day – even the hard ones. In fact, I think I’ve become so good at celebrating the beauty surrounding me that it’s translated into seeing the beauty in me. Every laugh line has become a badge of honor, every gray hair a treasured souvenir from this journey I’m on. Each morning, I wake up to the ultimate gift: another 24 hours to live this beautiful life. Turns out the Fountain of Youth is right there in my own backyard.

Throughout my life, I have spent a lot of time obsessing over the things I felt were wrong with me. I never felt pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, talented enough, or good enough in general. Everything I did was an attempt to make people like me.

One day I realized that this pursuit of other people’s approval was precisely what hindered me from earning my own. My neediness and desperation made it hard to respect myself, and at the end of the day, that’s what I really wanted.

I wanted to believe that I could put my head on my pillow at night knowing I am a good, valuable person and I deserve the peace of mind that only I can give me.

I wanted to love myself, knowing fully that I have darkness and light within me—that I have strengths and weaknesses, struggles and successes. I wanted to accept my humanity, even while growing and improving a little every day.

And I wanted to authentically share myself to hopefully help other people do the same. That I am willing to be seen in good days and bad, in strength and vulnerability, makes me feel both proud and beautiful.

Now that you have read about what makes these women beautiful, we pass the talking stick to you.

Leave a comment answering this question:

What puts the YOU in beaYOUtiful?

Thanks to you, with 11 days left of the 30 Days Of Beauty Challenge, we have raised $220 for To Write Love On Her Arms! We are SO close to our goal of $300! Thank you so much to everyone who has donated and shared the love with others! You ROCK!

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while now, you’ll know that I adore India Arie and her positive, self-loving, soulful music and lyrics. Her songs never fail to lift me up and make me feel as magical and wonderful as a fairy riding a unicorn over a double rainbow 🙂

In the spirit of 30 Days Of Beauty, I would like to share with you one of my favourite songs in the history of the Universe; ‘Video’ (also known as ‘Because I Am A Queen’), by India Arie.

Enjoy the tunes, feel the love and use the lyrics below to sing your heart out!

To watch the music video for this song (which won’t play here), click here.

“Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don’t Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won’t Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I’m not the average girl from your video And I ain’t built like a supermodel But I learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen I’m not the average girl from your video My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes No matter what I’m wearing I will always be The india arie

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me Every freckle on my face is where it’s supposed to be And I know my creator didn’t make no mistakes on me My feet my thighs my lips my eyes I’m loving what I see

I’m not the average girl from your video And I ain’t built like a supermodel But I learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen (yeah) I’m not the average girl from your video (woo) My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes (whoa) No matter what I’m wearing I will always be The india arie

Am I less of a lady if I don’t wear pantyhose My mama said a lady ain’t what she wears but what she knows But I’ve drawn the conclusion It’s all an illusion Confusion’s the name of the game A misconception a vast deception, Something’s got to change Don’t be offended this is all my opinion Ain’t nothing that I’m saying law This is a true confession Of a life-learned lesson I was sent here to share with y’all So get in when you fit in Go on and shine Clear your mind Now’s the time Put your salt on the shelf Go on and love yourself (love yourself) ‘Cause everything’s gonna be alright (love yourself)

I’m not the average girl from your video And I ain’t built like a supermodel But I learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen (yeah) I’m not the average girl from your video (woo) My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes (whoa) No matter what I’m wearing I will always be The india arie

Keep your fancy drink and your expensive minks I don’t need that to have a good time Keep your expensive cars And your caviar All’s I need is my guitar Keep your cristal and your pistol I’d rather have a pretty piece of crystal Don’t need your silicone I prefer my own What god gave me is just fine (Oh hah hah hah)

I’m not the average girl from your video And I ain’t built like a supermodel But I learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen (yeah) I’m not the average girl from your video (woo) My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes (whoa) No matter what I’m wearing I will always be The india arie”

You have everything you need to live the life you dream of, to accomplish those goals and overcome those fears.

You have the strength, courage and wisdom needed to follow your heart.

You have the creativity, passion and self-belief needed to create your own path.

You have the compassion, purpose and determination needed to make this world a better place.

You have the power. You are the power.

There are people who may read this and roll their eyes. They are afraid of their own power, so they convince themselves that they have none, and make fun of anything or anyone that suggests otherwise. It’s safer that way.

They will even try to convince you that you have no power, to ensure that they will have company in their safe little box of doubts and fears.

Not long ago, I read a post by Jamie Ridler on Roots Of She, about the kind of advice she would give to her younger self. I think I recall writing a bit about it during #reverb10 as well, but I never allowed myself to get too far into it, because I was scared of what might come out.

But the other day, Jess at So Uprightly Burning did a post on her letter to her 10-years-ago self, and it inspired me to finish mine.

So here it is:

A Letter To My Younger Self.

Me at around 14, and me today, 10 years later.

Dear beautiful Jen,

Well, you’re 14 years old. And I can tell you that this year is going to be the hardest year of your young life so far. And the next couple of years after won’t be much easier.

Your anxieties at school will get worse, you won’t feel safe in your own home, your self-esteem will be virtually non-existent, and people you love will die.

You will feel so ignored at school that when your favourite art teacher reaches out to you, you will be so surprised that you won’t know how to respond. Don’t assume she’s just doing her job; she really does care. I know this because even today, ten years later, she still remembers you.

I’m telling you all of this because I want you to know that, no matter how unbearable it all seems, and how lost you feel, you will get through it, you will find your way.

It’s all going to be okay.

The next few years will be dark, but there is so much light, so much good, waiting for you on the other side. Everything you are going through will be worth it, and everything these tough times teach you, about yourself, about others, and about life, will one day serve to make you very strong.

Just remember, everything happens for a reason, and things will get better, a lot better. I promise.

Please know that those people who hurt you, they do it because they, too, are suffering. It’s not your fault. They hurt others because they are hurting. You don’t have to put up with that in your life. Speak up.

It will take a long time for you to fully trust others, but someone will come along who will show how to love.

While you are running around chasing boys and looking for someone to love you, your soulmate will be right under your nose, and he will have already fallen for you before you even know his name.

It’s okay; you can trust this one. This boy won’t hurt you. So don’t get suspicious every time he gives you a compliment; he really does think you’re beautiful. He really does love you. And he really will marry you one day.

He will heal your closed heart, help you see how amazing you are, and show you what it’s like to have a real home, one where you feel safe, loved, and free to be who you really are. You can tell him your secrets, your fears and your dreams, and he will love you even more in return.

He will love you completely, every part of you, the good and the not-so-good. And you will feel the same about him. You will be a blessing to him just as much as he will be a blessing to you.

He makes everything you are going through now so, so worth it.

In regards to friends… well, don’t go the extra mile for anyone who wouldn’t do the same for you. And remember, anyone who gossips to you, will gossip about you. Even the ones who you think you can trust with your life.

Some friends you have now you will still have in ten years. Others will try to take advantage of you, and as soon as you are strong enough to stand up for yourself, you will realise you don’t want them, or their never-ending dramas, in your life anymore. It will be a hard choice to make, but I promise you won’t regret it.

In fact, by cutting them out, you will see just how much negativity they brought into your life in the first place, and you will have so much more room to grow into the positive woman you are meant to be.

Also, don’t get caught up in the aftermath of that ended friendship. The more drama they create about it, and the more lies they spread, the more they prove to you that you don’t need them in your life. Send them love and move on to the more awesome things that are coming your way.

Keep drawing, painting, creating, writing, and expressing yourself through art. You have no idea how much you need it to heal, grow, and be happy.

And never stop dreaming. That life-long dream you have of living overseas? You accomplish it at 23. I know, pretty awesome huh? You will also have your first art exhibit at age 22. And all those other things you dream of? You can do all of it. You really can.

Don’t avoid the things, places or people that make you anxious. You know those freak-outs you have before school, that you think are normal? Those are panic attacks. One day you will be so ruled by them that you never leave the house alone. Not even to get the mail.

Don’t worry; you need to live through that. That’s what causes you to do something drastic, like moving to China for a year. That will help you to overcome the anxiety pretty quickly. You will learn that your fears aren’t real, and that every time you face the things that scare you, the stronger and happier you become.

Then you will realise how brave you are, to do things that terrify you every single day.

Also, it’s okay to change your mind about what you want to do. Keep trying new things until you find what fits. A lot of those people who put you down for changing your mind will end up feeling stuck, doing jobs that they hate, and having no idea what they want to do with their lives. So don’t listen to their opinions.

Only listen to those people who are already living the kind of life you want to live – everyone else is just guessing.

I know right now you don’t know much about positive thinking, but you are always trying to see the bright side. Don’t listen to those people who call you unrealistic. What they don’t know is that it is optimism that will get you through the next few years, and start you on an amazing journey that will lead you to living such a happy and amazing life.

So, there will be a lot of tough moments in your life over the next ten years. But there will be even more amazing, happy and love-filled moments. So just keep going.

Most of all: Be kind to yourself. You are so worthy of love and respect, but it starts with you. Love yourself first, and everything else will fall into place. Make loving yourself your number one priority.

This song is called ‘Say Hey! (I Love You)’, by Michael Franti and Spearhead, and I just LOVE it!

I listen to it almost every day. When I say listen, I mean I sing along and dance around the apartment like a lunatic, of course. It’s just so irresistibly happy, and full of good vibes that flow through the Universe, all the way into my soul. It is happiness.

I’m so happy right now, just completely over the moon – or should I say, over the supermoon! Maybe it’s the energies brought about by that beautiful full moon, or maybe it’s just me, but I feel AWESOME.

My view of the Supermoon, so beautiful!

I am exploding with gratitude. So grateful for that one moment almost six months ago, in which I chose happiness over everything else. Grateful for everything I have created for myself since then, and for everything the Universe has brought me as a reward for that one decision to be happy.

I am a hurricane of love.

And I want to express that love more freely, so I am going to make an effort to express myself creatively even more-so than I do now.

I want to paint more, create more, write more, live more, laugh more and love more.

I want to paint portraits, I want to start an art journal, I want to write a book about my year in China, I want to build meaningful relationships with people all over the world, I want to meditate more, I want to start doing yoga, I want to empower, inspire and make hearts smile, I want to do whatever you need me to do to help you see how freakin’ AWESOME you are.

I don’t want to sell out, conform to only writing top ten list or how-to posts, give in to anxiety, or pretend like I’m some sort of self-development guru that has it all together and promises you true happiness all at the discounted price of $99.99 – because I’m not a guru, I don’t have it all together, and I can’t promise you happiness – your happiness is up to you.

What I can do is be here, now, to go on this journey with you. I can give you my perspective, share my thoughts, creations and inspirations with you, talk with you, laugh with you, cry with you. I can create things for you, as resources to help you focus on the positive, reminders of your AWESOMENESS, and make pretty things to hang on your walls. I can see your beauty, and help you to see it, too.

But at the end of the day, it’s up to you. And that’s okay, you can handle that. You are powerful… so much more than you realise.

I don’t have all the answers. I don’t even want or need all the answers. And that’s okay, too. I’m just doing the best that I can, moment to moment. Sometimes I freak out a little, and I doubt myself a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I have what it takes to achieve my dreams.

I am letting go of my perfectionism when it comes to art, too. I will love what I create, even if it’s messy. I am moving forward with my creations, with my ebooks, ekits and hell, maybe even some ecourses. Because what I have to offer is worthy, valuable and amazing.

A messy painting I did yesterday

I love how this post was originally just meant to be a shout out of pure love, and it morphed into another soul-searching session.

How imperfect of me 😉

Well, thank you so much for ‘listening’ to my rants. I’m always here to listen to you, too. Whenever, wherever.

I’m going to spend the rest of the day walking in the park – the snow is almost completely melted and the weather today is beautiful enough for me to not have to wear my huge puffy George Costanza jacket, yay! Then I’ll be drinking wine and eating mooncakes with my soulmate.

Hello beautiful!

Are you having an AWESOME day? I hope so!

Did you know that it’s nearly My Smiling Heart’s six month birthday?! 😀 Yay! Six months of growing, learning, connecting, inspiring and smiling at ourselves in the mirror! I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be a part of such an amazing tribe, thank you for a wonderful six months – so far!

Anyone who knows My Smiling Heart is familiar with the image above, especially the bird, that has become the MSH logo.

I just entered this self portrait into an online art competition, and the prize for the People’s Choice award is $2,500 – more than enough for me to be able to continue writing My Smiling Heart once I return to Melbourne in July! – so I would be forever grateful if you would please vote for my work here (click vote in the top right corner). Thank you, thank you, thank you! 😀

As I entered my artwork into the competition today, I realized that I have never given you the full story behind this self-portrait, so here it is 🙂

The Story Of Me And The Bird My Cat Killed:

That’s what this painting is called: A Portrait Of Me And The Bird My Cat Killed.

A few days before I painted it, my cat, Juno, jumped through my window with a bird hanging from his mouth. As soon as I saw it, I ran over to him, took him outside and made him drop the bird, but it was too late. It just lay there on it’s back, eyes closed.

I took it to the back of my garden and placed it under a tree. I felt so saddened by it’s lifeless body, but at the same time I was mesmerized by it’s beauty.

It was a beautiful brown colour, with specks of green and yellow on its feathers. All I could think of was how tragically beautiful it was.

The next day I watched American Beauty for the first time. There’s a scene in it where a boy is filming a dead bird, as it lay lifeless on the grass. When asked why he was filming it, he replied, “Because it’s beautiful.”

Just as he filmed the dead bird for it’s beauty, and in turn immortalized it in film, I wanted to do the same for my dead bird.

I thought to myself, what better way to give something new life than to immortalize it forever in art?

Now, that bird will live forever.

And not only that, over the past six months of My Smiling Heart, the bird has become symbol of positivity, hope, and freedom for me.

This painting represents the beginning of my journey to recognising my own power. The woman in this self-portrait, is the woman that I have grown into since I painted it. And I hope that I have been able to use my power to help you realize your own immense power.

Because you are powerful, awesome, and just so damn amazing!

You have the power to create your life, live your dreams and make this world a better place!

There is no better time to release your AWESOMENESS to the world!

Start with a smile, and just go from there 🙂

So much LOVE,

Jen ♥

* It’s Link Love Friday! Head over to the Facebook page and share links to your amazing blogs/websites/twitter! 😀

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”

~ Japanese Proverb

With everything that has been going on in our world recently, flooding, hurricanes, volcanoes, and now the earthquakes and tsunamis in Japan, it’s easy to fall. It’s easy fall, and it’s even easier to stay down.

A good thing about being a westerner in China is that I don’t watch television. I don’t see the news, the sensationalism, the fear based headlines or the warnings of armageddon.

I have a friend living in Japan at the moment, thankfully she is fine, but she is feeling a lot of frustration with the sensationalism of the news being shown around the world, as it is only focussing on the worst case scenarios, causing her family so much worry and anxiety. Not to mention the fact that she herself doesn’t know what to believe, with conflicting stories and a lot of misinformation going around.

If I was back home in Australia while all this was going on, I would be sitting in front of the TV, frozen in fear and too overwhelmed to be of any use.

Even seeing all the tweets about what’s happening, and what people think of it, is way too much for me. All it does is bring me down. I can’t help anyone if I’m down.

My heart breaks for all the people who have lost their lives, and the survivors who have lost their homes and loved ones. I fear for my friends who live in Japan and for myself as I am so close to the destruction. I fear the future and what challenges mother nature will bring us next. I want to help as much as I can.

But focussing on the news, the pain, and the fear only serves to weaken us.

If we are going to get through this, we need to be strong. We need to be strong just as the people of Japan are being strong. They are showing us what we need to do.

They have fallen, but they are standing back up.

They are the people who are in the most danger, the people who are suffering the most, but they are also the people who are handling it the best. They are focussing on what’s most important, and they are getting things done.

Most of all, they aren’t losing hope. They are opening their hearts. And so are we.

I read an amazing post written by a woman named Anne, who is living in Sendai, a town that has been completely devastated. In this inspiring Letter From Sendai, Anne is full of love and gratitude for everything she has, and writes about the powerful change that is occurring in our world right now:

“Somehow at this time I realize from direct experience that there is indeed an enormous Cosmic evolutionary step that is occurring all over the world right at this moment. And somehow as I experience the events happening now in Japan, I can feel my heart opening very wide.

My brother asked me if I felt so small because of all that is happening. I don’t. Rather, I feel as part of something happening that much larger than myself. This wave of birthing (worldwide) is hard, and yet magnificent.”

If Anne can be right in the middle of the destruction, and still see the good that is shining through the rubble, and even feel how the world is evolving as a result, then surely we can too.

Focussing on the love, the kindness and the compassion that is being shared during this time is the only way we can get through this, and become stronger, wiser, more awakened people in the process.

It’s time to stand up.

“The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.”

~ Ivy Baker Priest

Good News:

A four month old baby was found amongst the rubble, alive and well, 72 hours after the quake and tsunami hit. Source.

This was difficult and emotional for me to write, but it so needed to be said. It needed to be said, and it needs to be heard. This isn’t just a love letter to My Smiling Heart, this is a love letter to you.

You, who reads, supports and loves this blog as much as I do, you are My Smiling Heart. We are a community of smiling hearts. It wouldn’t be here without you, and neither would I.

Dear My Smiling Heart (You),

Thank you so much.

There are no words to describe what you have done for me. You appeared during one of the darkest times of my life, a time when I felt alone, meaningless, beaten down, and so, so sad. I was filled with hate, anger, and pain. I lived in fear, and let anxiety rule my life.

But, since the night you were created, you have been the light that shines my path. You have shown me my own truth, my own beauty, and my own power. You have reignited my creativity, my passion, and my self-belief.

Because of you, new doors have opened, leading me to meet some of the most amazing, inspirational women I have ever known. Women who have forever changed my life, women who support me, challenge me, and encourage me to live an extraordinary life.

You have made me see that I can change the world. And you have helped me do it.

You have given me meaning, joy, connection, and a reason to jump out of bed at 8am every single day with a smile on my face and love in my heart.

You have introduced me to my real passion. I thought my passions were art and writing, but really, it’s much deeper than that.

My passion, my life purpose, is to inspire others and help them to live their best lives. I am here to empower others, especially women. Art and writing is the vessel in which I can and will do that, I promise.

And now, as you continue to propel me forwards into new and exciting ventures, I know I have to trust the path that I am on, instead of trying to predict which way it will turn and where it will lead me.

As you continue to grow and become not only my passion but my full-time job, a way to earn a living while baring my soul, creating, and inspiring others, I promise I will stay focussed on my truth, my purpose, the community you have built and remember everything that has lead me to this point.

You are my passion, my light, my connection to the world and my connection to my true self.

My heart will always be full of gratitude for everything you bring me, and I promise to always honour you and continue to make you something that inspires anyone who comes into contact with you.

I want you to change lives, just as you have changed mine.

Even though I am scared and vulnerable right now, and feeling anxious about what’s to come, I know you will always be there, keeping me focussed and shining your light onto my soul.