]]>http://www.survivinggrady.com/2013/12/the-heidi-watney-cure-for-winter.html/feed12Nothing Bolsters Our Chances of Winning Like Photos of the Former Ladies of NESNhttp://www.survivinggrady.com/2013/07/nothing-bolsters-our-chances-of-winning-like-photos-of-the-former-ladies-of-nesn.html
http://www.survivinggrady.com/2013/07/nothing-bolsters-our-chances-of-winning-like-photos-of-the-former-ladies-of-nesn.html#commentsFri, 26 Jul 2013 23:03:29 +0000http://www.survivinggrady.com/?p=14165In all honesty, I planned a richly-detailed analysis of the upcoming Sox-Orioles series and what it means to both teams. But then I found myself ...

In all honesty, I planned a richly-detailed analysis of the upcoming Sox-Orioles series and what it means to both teams. But then I found myself distracted by that goddam photo of Heidi Watney that I posted a couple days ago and before you know it, I was lost in fantasyland.

So in the interest of sparking some positive vibes, I figured I’d post a few more photos of the much-loved and long-gone former ladies of NESN. The ones who balanced out the Don Orsillo eye candy factor by giving us guys something to look at.

Hazel Mae
‘Nuf said.

Krisily Kennedy
Krisily was only at NESN for what seemed a blip on the radar in 2004 (as immortalized in the shitty screencap I am presenting below). But then she showed up on TV’s The Bachelor and some other shows. We caught up with her for an interview a couple years ago.

Amalie Benjamin
Technically a Globe writer but her appearances during Red Sox pre-games make her part of this exclusive club. Wore glasses, melted hearts. Was very likely terrified of me, thanks to posts like this.

Tina Cervasio
If memory serves me, Tina came in after Hazel and we were instantly smitten. Luckily, our poker face is a lot better than Jonathan Papelbon, who couldn’t keep his eyes of Tina’s arse during a taped segment.

Heidi Watney
With all due respect to the other ladies here, and to Jenny Dell, I classify all the NESN talent in two ways: “Heidi Watney” and “Not Heidi Watney.” The only NESN female to willingly participate in a Surviving Grady podcast, and we will forever love her for that. Also, for not telling the authorities about that time she found us in her pantry.

]]>http://www.survivinggrady.com/2013/07/nothing-bolsters-our-chances-of-winning-like-photos-of-the-former-ladies-of-nesn.html/feed16By the Power of Remy, I SAY WIN TWO!http://www.survivinggrady.com/2013/06/by-the-power-of-remy-i-say-win-two.html
http://www.survivinggrady.com/2013/06/by-the-power-of-remy-i-say-win-two.html#commentsTue, 18 Jun 2013 17:01:41 +0000http://www.survivinggrady.com/?p=13688The only black spot on this effervescent (so far) Red Sox season has been that Jerry Remy hasn’t been around for a good chunk of ...

The only black spot on this effervescent (so far) Red Sox season has been that Jerry Remy hasn’t been around for a good chunk of it.

Over the last couple years, the guy’s battled everything from cancer to depression, not to mention the regular pummeling leveled on his eyes by Jim Rice’s shirts and Heidi Watney’s pants. But whatever’s got him this time — and reports have ranged from pneumonia to no report at all — seems to have got him good. And his prolonged absence this season reminds us of how good we had it, and for how long.

All we can do is wish the guy a speedy recovery, because watching DO without his go-to guy is like watching Robin trying to single-handedly take down all of Arkham Asylum’s inmates without Batman. Although I assume Orsillo is actually wearing pants.

We got two with the Rays today. Let’s win ’em both for Jerry, man. Let’s do it for Jerry.

]]>http://www.survivinggrady.com/2013/06/by-the-power-of-remy-i-say-win-two.html/feed66Heidi Watney Returns to Baseball. Let the Healing Begin.http://www.survivinggrady.com/2012/11/heidi-watney-returns-to-baseball-let-the-healing-begin.html
http://www.survivinggrady.com/2012/11/heidi-watney-returns-to-baseball-let-the-healing-begin.html#commentsTue, 20 Nov 2012 12:02:15 +0000http://www.survivinggrady.com/?p=12374Last summer, as Bobby V led the Red Sox through the AL East with all the grace and precision of a blind guy trying to ...

Last summer, as Bobby V led the Red Sox through the AL East with all the grace and precision of a blind guy trying to parallel park a Greyhound bus on Mass Ave at rush hour during a meteor shower/missile attack, I knew that something was missing. No, it wasn’t charm or class or motivation — although those things were definitely in short supply from the Sox clubhouse to the front office.

It was Heidi Watney.

With all respect to Jenny Dell, Heidi was my security blanket. As the summer of 2011 turned sour and tears fell from my giant stone carving of Mike Timlin (an homage, I’m guessing, to the credit-roll scene of Battle for the Planet of the Apes where Caesar’s statue cries), Heidi helped take the pain away. No matter how badly the Sox flailed, she was there. On the third base line. Whisking me away to worlds uncluttered by Carl Crawford, Joey Gathright, Bobby Jenks and Erik Bedard. Staring longingly into my eyes as we co-signed a mortgage on the beachfront gift shop at Laguna. Spending all our earnings on stilettos and skin-tight jeans. Looking positively fetching in that cherry pink Cadillac convertible we’d take for seemingly endless Sunday rides down the coast. Bento lunches at her side and a minidress that matched the drop top. Those were days filled with magic and intensity and passion and cocaine (for me, mostly as a Twinkies chaser) and perfume and lipstick and blue eyes and Dan Wheeler. And I will never forget what they meant to me.

Anyway, when she packed up and headed for the left coast to cover the Lakers or the Galaxy or whatever she was doing out there, I kinda spiraled. Unless your definition of “spiraled” doesn’t include putting a blond wig on a hatrack and sitting alongside it on the patio, discussing aborted dreams, broken promises and whether or not Alfredo Aceves ever killed a guy with his bare hands. Going Watney Cold Turkey was tougher on me than the news that they’d killed plans for a third “Three Men and a Baby” movie. Accompanied by the single worst Red Sox season of my lifetime (coincidence?), it became a cocktail for disaster. Or at least taking, like, eight sick days from work in a row and refusing to wear pants for any of them.

So it’s not NESN. This isn’t a perfect world and I accept that. But it gives me great comfort to know that next summer, for every bullpen implosion and John Farrell head-scratcher, we can find solace with just a click of the remote.

To the MLB Network. Where Heidi awaits. Eyes sparkling. Derriere derriere-ing. Perkiness ramped to 11. And red lips hovering dangerously close to the world’s luckiest microphone.

]]>http://www.survivinggrady.com/2012/11/heidi-watney-returns-to-baseball-let-the-healing-begin.html/feed3Heidi Watney: Back In Our Liveshttp://www.survivinggrady.com/2012/06/heidi-watney-back-in-our-lives.html
http://www.survivinggrady.com/2012/06/heidi-watney-back-in-our-lives.html#commentsThu, 21 Jun 2012 18:12:00 +0000http://www.survivinggrady.com/?p=11048Ever since this Red Sox season began, I’ve felt a certain emptiness. Or perhaps a “void” is a better way to describe it. Something’s missing, ...

Ever since this Red Sox season began, I’ve felt a certain emptiness. Or perhaps a “void” is a better way to describe it. Something’s missing, something that’s making things not quite right.

It’s not Wakefield, God love him. Nor is it Tek. Even though these folks have moved on, it’s not bothering me quite as much as I thought it might.

No, what’s got me down is the lack o’ Heidi.

Not to take anything away from Jenny Dell. But, man, Heidi could make even the most turgid, hot-coals-on-your-balls games a little more bearable. It didn’t matter to me that the Sox were down sixteen runs in the fourth. I had to stick around for those fleeting glimpses of blonde hair and white teeth and 100% American-made awesome from her perch on the third base line.

When she left Boston, I was crushed (although somewhat relieved that I could finally get that cursed GPS monitor off my ankle). At least, I figured, she’d be just a few flips of the dial away, someone I could still check in on from time to time, like Hazel Mae on MLB TV or Cesar Crespo at the local 7-11. Rumor had it she’d be covering the Lakers. During her guest spot on our SG podcast, Heidi herself said that while she couldn’t confirm the Lakers gig, something was in the works.

Turns out, she landed as sideline reporter for the LA Galaxy, which plays that game where guys kick the ball around (always forget what it’s called). That’s also the team that David Beckham plays for, meaning there are actually moments in which Heidi Watney and Victoria Beckham are very likely in the same building. This, for me, is proof that God loves us. And just another reason they will never, ever let me off a plane at LAX.

Anyway, for those who have been jonesing for Heidi, here’s a recent piece she filmed for the Galaxy’s uniform design contest. I think that’s what it’s about, anyway. I have yet to watch it with the sound up.