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Don’t Dish It Out If You Can’t Take It

Yesterday, I was blocked by another blogger, who also has an advice blog. Why she is upset with me? I don’t know. She seems to have a problem with my experience in the mental health field and my psychology degree. (Go figure) The funny thing is the comment I made actually went along with her advice. lol I’m trying to resist the urge to be petty, but…. She’s gonna learn today! Don’t dish is out if you can’t take it.

Here is what set her off. This is the comment I made:

LW #826, your baby’s father is mentally unstable, and you have ever right to protect you and your baby. I would listen to your lawyer. Get full custody. I wouldn’t even allow him supervised visitation. From what you described, it seems like things are slowly escalating. Eventually, he will become physically aggressive. You and your child don’t need that in your lives. Please, protect yourself and your unborn baby. Your baby can’t defend herself and is depending on you for a stable, nurturing environment.

Seems reasonable, right? Now here is what another reader said:

I don’t think being mentally unstable is necessarily a reason to prevent someone seeing their child. Lots of people are mentally unstable but still good parents. It’s being aggressive and abusive that is the problem.

**blank stare** what??? Wait. It gets better. Here is how the blogger responded to me:

People, including THE BLOGGER OF THE SITE YOU ARE READING, HER PARTNER, AND MANY PARENTS THAT SHE KNOWS can have mental illnesses and not display violent, aggressive behaviors or be bad parents.

The Letter Writer’s parter is unstable AND violent toward women. You can be stable and violent, you can have mental issues and not be violent. Misogyny and violence is the comment element in cases of violence toward women, and having a mental condition certainly doesn’t help, but one is not necessarily the cause of the other!

YOU cannot be serious that you work in the mental health field/with mentally ill people (as you’ve said in other threads) and not know this! Get your money back from whoever trained you if this is how you actually think!

This is not the first thread where you put out an ignorant and unkind blanket opinion, have had other commenters point out where you went wrong, and you’ve been condescending as fuck in reply. You’re welcome to read the site, but your commenting days are done here.

If you are scratching your head right now, don’t feel bad. You are not alone. I let my co-worker read this mess. She just shook her head. Then giggled.

Look at what she said. She acknowledges that the LW’s partner is unstable (which I also said) and acknowledges that he is violent (which I also said). Now, would you want a person like this handling a baby?

Furthermore, I was responding to the specifics of the letter. The other reader who commented and the blogger began talking about mental illness/disorders in general. They were making me seem like I was saying all people with mental disorders are bad people and shouldn’t have kids. That would imply that I know all people with mental illness all around the world. Wow! I’m not that popular… yet. Anyway, I was talking about the LW’s situation, since, you know, that’s the reason why we’re all there in the first place.

Also, I love how she makes herself seem like an expert or authority on mental health because she and the people around her have mental illness/disorders. Then she throws a jab at my experience in mental health and education in psychology. HA!

Keep in mind that advice columnists are not necessarily experts in mental issues. I definitely don’t claim to be an expert. I’d need a couple more degrees to have that title, which I am working on. My degree and experience does help me give meaningful, sound advice, not counseling. (Those are two different things.) You can take my advice or leave it though. It doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is being told I’m wrong for having a different take on the situation than others do. If you don’t believe me, go to Captain Awkward’s site and disagree with her or one of her regular readers. She’ll delete your comment and call it “moderating.” lol It’s her blog. She can do what she wants, but the Readers have to see a HUGE issue with that.

I like when people have a difference of opinion. I love it. You get to see how people think and where they are coming from. They may help you see things from a different angle. I love having discussions and debates in my comment section. On my other blog (Ask Cara), people pop up and disagree with me. I don’t delete their comments because that is how they are feeling at that time. Someone else who comes along may be feeling the same way. They want their opinion heard. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Just remember though, if you can’t take it, don’t dish it out. I can be very upfront and to the point. Some people take it the wrong way and want to pop off. Well, I can pop off too, and you might get your feelings hurt.

Moral of the story (Hey Mrs. Blog-a-holic!): Don’t cometh for me, unless I sendth for you. lol

You guys have a great day and a wonderful Valentine’s Day! Feel free to comment or promote your blogs in the comment section. I’m getting a lot of awesome new followers. Don’t hesitate to email me if you have a question or a topic idea. AskJanaLeigh@yahoo.com I love getting your emails. Thanks for the love and support.

Ciao!

~Jana Leigh

**Photo credit: pinterest.com

**Gif is from boriquachicks.com

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Published by Ask Me

Hello Beauties.
My blog, AskJanaLeigh.com, is an advice column and beauty blog. I discuss dating, relationships, parenting, marriage, and sex. My Twitter account is @AskJanaLeigh1.
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As a survivor of abuse and a sibling/friend to individuals with mental health disabilities, I have to say, you were absolutely right in everything you said. The man is unstable AND violent. She needs to get away from him for herself and her baby’s safety.

I keep reading and re-reading your comment trying to figure out where the heck the repliers got “Mentally ill people are violent” from. Like honestly I had no trouble understanding your message. Smh… ppl don’t know how to read anymore.

Side note I HATE it when bloggers delete comments that disagree with their opinion! How immature is that?

It’s so immature and lame. People are not going to agree with you all the time. That’s life. Girl, you should see the advice she gave to this young woman who was cutting herself due to issues with anxiety. smh. Her and her followers got pissed at me because I said she may need her meds adjusted. Then they really flew off the handle when I suggested she put her college courses aside for now until she had some therapy. Let me find that link, so you can see.

Wow that blogger went all the way left on her soap box to reprimand J. If the person you’re with presents imminent danger to you and your child it’s your responsibility to protect yourself. In just reading that emotional tirade you can tell the blogger felt threatened by J’s presence.

I don’t get professionals in the mental health field who field 15 minutes worth of story and suddenly come to believe for themselves that they know that individual better than that individual knows himself.

yea, psychiatrists play that trick all the time. I’ve seen it so many times, you’re not going to fool me. Along with, I’m not gonna argue with you. As also, I’m trying to help you, etc etc etc. The reason I wrote you is because I am against witchcraft and its sister craft psychiatry.

Will do. Pscyh meds have put me through hell. They made me numb, they took away all emotion, they gave me crazy legs, attacked my brain, slowed down my thought processes, attacked my heart, cocooned me to where it was extremely difficult to find myself again.