Saturday, September 25, 2010

I was fine, until they told me I was sick....

I had some abdominal pain, and it wouldn't go away, so I saw my doc and he sent me for a CT scan. It said there was a bit of 'thickening' where the esophagus met the stomach. Thickening... hmmm.

So, doc sent me to a gastroenterologist who performed both an upper and a lower endoscopy yesterday.

I hate the thought of hospitals. So, naturally, I was terrified for the whole two or so weeks waiting for these procedures to be done. And, as always happens when I let myself be taken over by fear, the actuality was no problem at all. My amazing nurse got the IV in FIRST TIME! (My veins suck from years of steroid use.) The anesthesiologist was a peach; when I was coming out of the joy juice, I never once felt nausea.

Gastro came to tell me the results; a few polyps, removed and most likely benign, and then the whopper: Esophageal Cancer.

I confess right now that I am probably the biggest coward on the face of the planet. AND, I always anticipate the worst possible outcome for any situation. Yet, people who know me would describe me as an exceptionally happy person and eternally optimistic. Can I be both of these? Yes, because I am! Hmm, I wonder if this means I'm actually manic/depressive. Must find a good therapist.

But I just landed in Honor Hold (yeah, I rolled an Ally just to see how the other half lives... FOR THE HORDE!) so, I'll get back to this another time.

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About Me

I was diagnosed with Stage IV esophageal cancer in September of 2010. Now I'm fighting for every day I can get, as long as I get good days in the mix.
Then in May of 2011, I was diagnosed with ANOTHER primary cancer, this one much more lethal: Adrenal Gland Cancer.
I know far too much about fear, and I started this blog to help me control it, so that my last days on earth would not be ruled by fear.
I'm doing pretty well, so far. :)