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Drawing comfort from within- but not me.

I have a hard time accomplishing anything worth accomplishing on a day after a retreat. It mostly ends up being desk organizing, check requests, filing etc. It's got to get done but my pace is so slow. Oh yeah, so on Sunday and Monday I had a retreat. This "urban plunge" style retreat consisted of social justice activities on Sunday and cumulated into doing service work at several organization in Seattle. Basically, it's a campus minister's paradox. A retreat with an awesome powerful message and a ton of logistical complications and struggles.

The past 3 weeks I have had 2 retreats and at each of these retreats I don't sleep well. I am so hyper aware of kids sneaking around that I am the last to sleep and the first one awake. In fact, its the lack sleep and being away from Sean that makes the retreats so hard. In fact, the hardest part is being away from Sean because that is who I do most of my processing with, that is who is my support that it's okay and reminder that I'm okay. During the last 2 retreats though I have taken a ton of comfort knowing that I had our baby with us. It seems strange to say that since I didn't have a choice in the matter- but something about this little person inside of me is comforting when I can't be with Sean. The past 2 retreat have been less hard because I have felt connected to our little person and thereby connected to Sean.

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Rachel, I love you blog and especially this one. It reminded me of how cool it was to be pregnant and always have the baby with me. I remember during a debate in one of my theology classes about abortion, Katie kicked me really hard as if to say - none of that crap!