“Then Jesus told His disciples, ‘If any man would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me’”(Mt 16:24) I think that every baby who is born should have—instead of a hospital bracelet—a “cross bracelet” placed on his/her wrist. On the front of the cross his name could be engraved, and on the back of the cross could be engraved: “Sometimes I want to turn away…” I’m just “joking,” of course, but my joke contains a serious message. The cross is a central part of God’s plan for each of His children—not only the Cross of Christ, but also the cross that each of us shares with Him. It is also true that each person wants, many times, to turn away from his cross. Even Jesus, in the Garden of Gethsemane, called out in anguish to His Loving Father: And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Mt 26:39) One of the beautiful gifts of union with our Sorrowful Mother, in union with Jesus, is that we learn (and are given the grace) to accept our crosses; and, in accepting them, we bear beautiful spiritual fruit, which we share with others. When my daughter, Sofia, was first diagnosed with pervasive development disorder in 1993, I began to go to Eucharistic adoration two nights each week. I urgently needed that time with the Lord. One night I prayed from deep in my heart that the Lord would heal Sofia, and the Lord immediately responded with an image of a beautiful little silver cross laid on a small personal altar—a table with an immaculately white linen cloth on it. I knew immediately that the Lord was communicating that Sofia, with her disabilities—and also my suffering as her mother—was that beautiful little silver cross, which I had the gift to offer to Him. The image was deeply consoling to me, because it showed me in a profound way the great value of Sofia’s affliction, and of my own suffering with her. But, at the same time, it was not the response I wanted from Jesus. I wanted Him to take away the cross of Sofia’s disability. One of the greatest challenges of my spiritual journey has been to seek to accept that little cross and to “count it all joy.”“Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials…” (James 1:2) Prayer is the greatest joy, the sweetest fruit, of accepting that beautiful little cross—prayer growing in my heart and in my family. Once, when I was praying for Sofia because she was crying in pain and couldn’t tell me where her pain was, Mother Mary spoke to my heart and said, “Don’t just pray for her; pray with her.” So I started praying out loud, “Dear Jesus, please take away Sofia’s pain…” and Sofia (who speaks very little) surprised me by immediately beginning to pray with me, “Take away the pain, Jesus,” in a very heartfelt way, in a way that told me that she probably knows Jesus better than I know Him. Ever since that day, we pray together when she’s having any kind of distress, and often she spontaneously begins the prayer. To me Sofia’s prayer is an infallible sign of Jesus’ presence with us. One clear proof of Sofia’s extraordinarily close connection to Jesus occurred when she was a little girl, and she was going through a period of aggression. One time, after she had scratched me, I began praying very intensely to the Child Jesus for her, and she suddenly looked straight in front of her at a spot that only looked like air to me, and she said in an awed voice, “The Little Boy!” Thanks be to Jesus!“Sometimes I want to turn away.Then I hear you gently say,‘Come to the Cross.Come stand by me.I who am your Mother love you tenderly…”(song “Come to the Cross” by Annie Karto)Question for Reflection: What is a “little cross” (that may seem like a big cross) that the Lord has given you? What joy (or fruit) have you received in learning to accept that cross?

Reflection from MB, a little handmaid

Well, to tell a little bit about me, I’m on the pension because of a mental illness, but I’m so much better, as praying helps a lot. I spend my day doing housework, gardening, and going to Mass. I get my daily walk going to and from church. In my spare time I like reading anything that has to do with Jesus and praying, which I can’t go without; otherwise I could panic, or something along those lines. When I have more time, I’ll do the consecration, which I have the books to do (thanks for asking in one of your emails). So I’m about to go to bed, but before that I’ll read the Bible. I don’t know what time it is over where you are, but goodnight....... We will speak again. May God bless you and your family with the tenderness of the Holy Spirit Amen..............

Linda’s Reflection I am the 67 yr. old divorced mother of 10 grown children—8 boys and 2 girls—and the grandmother to 32 grandchildren. I ended up raising the youngest three sons alone, and it was difficult, as I had never even had a brother, and raising 8 sons was very different from being raised with a sister! However, I have to trust that I did the best that I knew how to do, given the circumstances. Of the eight sons, two of the boys became heavily involved in the world of drugs…David was 45 this year and he will never get any older, as he was shot and killed in his own yard on April 23rd. He was a troubled man, but he was unarmed and shot in the back when the officers responded to a "domestic dispute" call that evening. The Mississippi Bureau of Investigation immediately got involved, and the FBI was called in. Understandably, we are all deeply troubled over what has happened. David suffered from cirrhosis of the liver and Hepatitis C plus a a hernia repair that had broken open and the opening grew larger and larger…But David’s physical issues, as serious as they were, did not define him. What did was the love that he showed to almost all that he came into contact with. His signature behavior was to throw his arms around everyone and kiss them on the cheek as he told them; "I love you, man," or "I love you, bro!" And it didn't matter WHO you were, either…I'm thinking, in particular, of a few people that came up to me at the visitation on Friday night. The woman had known him for years and years, and he always comforted her when she talked to him. She said she would really miss him… After I had thought back to his hugs and caring, another picture suddenly appeared in my mind that was as clear as day, and because it was totally unexpected, it had my undivided attention. It was of the crime scene, only in this case I was a spectator, and my eyes were not on David's body lying on the ground, but on his spirit that was radiating peace even as he stood there looking at the police officers in question. You see, David held absolutely no malice in his gaze. For whatever reason, he was totally at peace. Then it came to me. In scripture it says, If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing." (I Corinthians 13: 1-3 NAB). However, in the early morning hours when the apartment is quiet and still, I can see the scene again and again. I try to tell myself that he is finally out of pain, but every night, in my mind, I see his broken body on the ground and realize anew that he is bleeding to death there on the ground, alone. And the tears run down my face. The only comfort I have found has been in the arms of Our Blessed Mother. She grieves with me as she grieved for her Son all those years ago. I have tried to give this whole situation to God, to “surrender” it, as this whole situation has been and continues to be one giant act of surrender, or at least it needs to be. I say needs to be because surrender implies a placing of the whole situation into the Lord’s hands without grabbing it away again and clutching it tightly to my breast as I relive the sorrow over and over.

Please continue to pray that I will be able to finally give it over into the Lord’s keeping, trusting that all that happens will finally be redeemed in the sovereign timing of the Lord. I believe that this would be a good group for me as I would like to be of comfort to others who are struggling …And perhaps, in ministering to others I will finally find peace for myself. Linda

Reflection of Rosy Alfaro

Throughout my life I have carried many crosses; although it has been a single cross, for me it became many crosses. I know that the cross, whether it be small or large, is heavy; it hurts. It wounds; it draws from you tears and blood. But when we look at Christ Crucified, without any guilt, our crosses shrink. If you dwell in the Sorrowful Heart of Mary, you experience the true pain of the Mother, her compassionate love. When you reflect and raise up your eyes to the Eternal Father to tell Him, “Let this chalice pass from me, but not my will, but Thine be done”…my experience has been that, when I share my cross in that way, I have obtained the greatest gifts from God: His caresses, His smiles, His love…and I have no doubt that the cross that is well accepted is the Cross of Christ—whether it is in the form of a child, an old person, a sickness, etc., it is God…Love your cross. A little handmaid of the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, Rosy

Several weeks ago I was speaking from the heart to our Sorrowful Mother. I was telling her that I felt that I am not doing enough for the Little Handmaids, to help us to grow spiritually. I received a prayer image of me as a very small girl (maybe 2 years old) sitting on our Mother’s lap. In the image I placed my very small hand in Mother Mary’s much larger hand. I was trying to see how my hand compared to my Mother’s hand. Did it look similar? Then our Sorrowful Mother communicated to me that she has that kind of close bond with each of the little handmaids.

In the weeks since then, I have come to understand that the image was our Mother’s way of calling us to reflect on our relationship with her, which is the Heart of our consecration to her and, through her, to Jesus.

With this in mind, I am beginning (with Fr. Jaime’s permission) a series of reflections on our relationship with our Sorrowful Mother, with the goal of our hearts being formed in her Heart. When I send a reflection out, it will end with a question, which you will be invited to reflect on, and, if you would like, you can write your reflection and send it to me, and Rosy and I will send it out to the rest of the little handmaids. With your permission, we will post your reflection on our website, and I will use the reflections to compose a monthly devotional to send out to everyone on our contact lists.

Please pray that the “Holy Spirit living in Mary,” will bless this endeavor.

Mary Comes to Us in Our Need

To me one of the most touching scenes in the movie The Passion of the Christ is the one in which Mary struggles to get to Jesus as He is carrying His Cross and finally reaches Him when He has fallen under it and is struggling to get up. Mary and Jesus reach out to each other, touching each other tenderly with their hands, as well as with their eyes. Mary grasps a little part of His garment, and it is clear that she longs to hold him and comfort Him. What profound comfort her presence must have been to Him!

Come to the Cross, come stand by me. I who am your Mother love you tenderly. I see your tears; I know your pain. In my pierced heart I felt the same.

I have already shared with you how Our Sorrowful Mother came to me when I was desperately in need of loving support when my daughter, Sofia, was going through a period of intense aggression.

Our Sorrowful Mother continues to touch me with her presence when I am in need of a Mother’s comforting, encouraging presence. On Valentine’s Day I took Sofia, who is now 23, (going on 3 developmentally) to McDonald’s, and I bought her a parfait and me a hot mocha. Then I drove to Moore Park, across from McDonald’s and parked in a pretty spot so we could enjoy our treats. Sofia finished her parfait “lickety-split” and “jumped” out the car, moving quickly. I thought she wanted to take a walk, so I followed her. But she didn’t walk very far. She plopped down on the ground and started playing in a patch of dirt. There were some people at a picnic table about 30 feet from us, so I was not comfortable with Sofia’s behavior, but I found out years ago that I can’t make Sofia stop doing something that she wants to do. So I was just trying to talk her into going back to the car. “Let’s take a long ride, Sofia. You like to take a long ride.”

Then, out of the blue, I heard Mother Mary speak to me in my heart: “I am with you.” I silently spoke back to her: “I’m embarrassed…What are you feeling?” (It occurred to me that she might be able to give me a wiser perspective on my situation.) Mother Mary responded: “I am pleased with your patience.” (Wow! That relieved my stress a lot!)

Soon Sofia got up and started walking back to the car. “I’m relieved,” I said to Mary. “What do you feel?” Mother Mary responded, “I am pleased with your perseverance.” Her words were like a whirlpool bath washing all of my tension away! Cami

Question for Reflection: How has Our Sorrowful Mother come to you in your deep need?

"Annunciation" by Ira Thomas, www.catholicworldart.com

Reflection of Magda Coronel

I have been taking prayer workshops, and one of the sessions that most got to me was the one which shows the obedience of Mary. When she was told by the Angel that she was going to be impregnated by the Holy Spirit, she showed only acceptance; she did not argue, did not complain, did not put her interests before God's command. She just said, “Let there be in me the will of God.” She suffered a great deal when she saw her only Son die on the cross, and even there she did not complain, did not argue, did not question God.

I am trying to live in that acceptance of the will of God, and even though it is very hard, I can feel her hand on my shoulder when I'm struggling to understand God's plan, encouraging me to keep going, to only see that God loves us, and that everything happening in my life is for the greatness of God, because I, like Mary, am a servant of the Lord.

"...true devotion to our Lady is interior, that is, it comes from within the mind and the heart and follows from the esteem in which we hold her, the high regard we have for her greatness, and the love we bear her." (from True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, #106, by St. Louis de Montfort)

Santa Teresita del Nino Jesus

Reflection of Socorro Aguilar

I am confident that my Mother Mary arrived at a moment in my life when I needed her so much. She was, and will always continue to be, a blessing in my home. I feel secure with her.

I feel that she inspired in me more devotion to Santa Teresita del Niño Jesús (St. Therese, the Little Flower), whom I love so much. After all, Mother… She lives in my heart, cares for my children, and always gives to me. So I am very grateful.

Thank you for having presented to us this devotion, and may God bless you, Socorro Aguilar

Young visionaries in Medjugorje 1980's

Reflection of Rosie Aguilar

The way Our Sorrowful Mother came to me in my time of need was when I got married for the first time. This was a marriage that would last nine years, and would end in divorce. Our Sorrowful Mother came to me through my friend Mary, who took a trip to Medjugorje. When she came back she told me that the Virgin Mary was appearing to 4 young girls and 2 boys and that she was giving messages to them. She even showed me a photo that was taken at the time of the apparition, and when it was developed the image of a beautiful looking young woman came out.

In that instant I was fascinated and excited. I wanted to share this with everyone, but as always, it was faster to just share it with my Mom. After I walked to my Mom's house, she told me that I looked like I ran to her house; that's how quick I got there. My house was about 10 blocks from hers, and at that time I did not know how to drive. My Mom also told me that I looked like Saint Elizabeth when she greeted her cousin Mary (Lk 1:43): "Who am I, that the Mother of my Lord should come to me?” And that is exactly how I felt.

Well, ever since then, the Virgin Mary has been with me. I have been on fire for her. I have wanted to do everything for her and I have, even though I was in a marriage that was not meant to be, and by the grace of God, I was able to get out. Our Lady was always with me, because since the beginning, she excited me to look into the Church's teachings.

I also watched EWTN which was also in its beginnings. I would try to watch as many shows as I could; I guess I was hungry for our Catholic faith. And with this came translations from English to Spanish, so that I could share all this with my Mother, who seemed just as excited.

I also received a book called Marian Movement of Priests, messages given to Father Stefano Gobbi. I would read this book every day; this was the way I felt Our Lady communicated with me. I would open the book randomly, and a lot of the times the message read, "Your liberation is near." Believe me, it was never my intention to be liberated from anything; it all just kind of fell into place.

It has been 25 years since Our Lady came to me, and she has never left me. After going through a divorce and an annulment, I am now happily married and still doing translations from English to Spanish, not only for my mother, but also for the Little Handmaids and anyone else who needs me.

Everything for the glory of God and His Will!

Rosie, a little handmaid of Our Sorrowful Mother

3-19-12

"...true devotion to our Lady is constant. It strengthens us in our desire to do good and prevents us from giving up our devotional practices too easily. It gives us the courage to oppose the fashions and maxims of the world, the vexations and unruly inclinations of the flesh and the temptations of the devil. Thus a person truly devoted to our Blessed Lady is not changeable, fretful, scrupulous or timid." (from True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, #109, by St. Louis de Montfort)

Reflection of Rosy Alfaro

How did our Sorrowful Mother come to you in your deep need?

I would like to share with all of you, my sisters, that I never thought that someone, representing my Mother, would ask me that question. That someone must be, without a doubt, very pleasing in the eyes of Mary, and identified with her, especially in suffering…I have been living for 75 years. I have lived my life well, and have enjoyed it. I have my husband, who is my life, my strength, and my companion; I could say that he is my all, if I didn’t know that there is Someone who cares even more intensely for me: my God, and my Mother Mary. I have five children and seven grandchildren; they are my breath, my joy, and my hope. I have my mother in law, who is 96 years old, and she suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. With her I have learned many lessons from Jesus, about how much He needs from us, here on earth—not in heaven—here! Also a granddaughter lives with us, and I have no doubt that, in the manner in which God works, she gives us life. She is hyperactive, has A.D.H.D. Our Mother of Guadalupe protects her; I have been a witness of that protection. It is my hope that no one will hurt her, because my Mother will defend her. I pray a lot for those who are close to her, more than for her. I have been in dialysis for five years, and God has shown Himself to me more clearly there, because, while science and technology make gigantic steps, can you imagine the incredible advances that Almighty God has for us, His children? No one should complain; it is not just. God has given us everything, and at this moment he is pouring out an abundance of His Mercy. I’m going to share with you a spiritual experience I had. I was seated in my dialysis chair, and Jesus showed me, through the door across from the chair, some clouds that moved and then stopped. Afterwards he showed me a waterfall where pure water poured out. I know through other experiences that no one else saw that. During the vigil of prayer that I make, I asked Jesus and Mary what was it that I saw, and they opened my understanding, so that I could know that the clouds were a message from heaven, and the waterfall of pure water was the fount of Divine Mercy that floods souls for our salvation. God is working intensely, never doubt that! The battle against evil is already won, through the Hearts of Jesus and Mary, you can count on it. Now I’m going to answer the question of what makes me a little handmaid of the Immaculate and Sorrowful Heart of Mary. Since before my birth, my Mother (Mary) has taken care of me; step by step, and especially in the most difficult moments, she has been with me. If sometimes I have ignored her help, now at this age—with a terminal illness and with so many manifestations that I have received—she has sustained me in all my struggles. Many ask: “Why her and not Jesus? That question does not bother me, because where she is, there is Jesus. Jesus gives the first place to His Mother, more than anyone else does. There is a prayer taught to me by Fr. Gobbi—whom I still cry for, that he rest in peace. He says in his writings: “When you are confused, or you don’t know what to do or how to act, pray this ejaculation, which our Mother taught me, and she herself will come in to do what you cannot do: “Mother, I believe in you, I trust in you, I permit you to act for me—tell me what to do. I believed Fr. Gobbi, and for more than 15 years I have prayed this ejaculation that I have shared with you today. Believe it, live it, and you will see incredible results, and you will realize that our Sorrowful Mother is so close to all of her children. With great love, deeply inside the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,

Rosy (Alfaro), a little handmaid of the Sorrowful Heart of Mary

(true devotion)...is trustful, that is to say, it fills us with confidence in the Blessed Virgin, the confidence that a child has for its loving Mother. It prompts us to go to her in every need of body and soul with great simplicity, trust and affection. (True Devotion to Mary, St. Louis de Montfort)

Basilica of Virgin of San Juan, Pharr, TX

Reflection of Mary SalazarThe way, I remember, Our Sorrowful Mother came to me in my time of need was through my friend, Mary. It was a time that I had problems with my mother and my sister. I did not know what to do, and I was desperately worried. My friend, Mary, who was living at the time, suggested that I make a trip to see Our Lady of San Juan de los Lagos, and said that she would help me. I told my friend that it sounded like a good idea, but Our Lady of San Juan is in Mexico, and at that time I could not travel that far. She told me that I did not have to, that Our Lady of San Juan de los Lagos also has a church here in Texas. I was amazed, because I had only heard of this devotion to Our Lady of San Juan to be in Mexico. I decided to travel to Pharr, Texas to visit the Shrine and to promise Our Lady that, if she helped me, I would go back to visit her in her shrine. I also promised her that I would go inside the church walking on my knees until I reached her statue. My prayers were answered, and that particular situation was solved. I went back to The Basilica of San Juan de los Lagos, walking on my knees as I had promised Our Lady. Our Sorrowful Mother comes to us, and she makes it easy for us to go to her, no matter where we're at.

Mary

Our Lady of Perpetual Help

Reflection of Ira Thomas

One experience I had of Mary coming to me may not sound very dramatic but was very powerful to me. I was awaiting a biopsy result and I was very tense as I braced myself for what might turn out to be cancer. During those days, I turned to Our Mother of Perpetual Help. The familiar icon of Mary holding the Child Jesus as He ran to her in fear of the Passion that was shown to Him, depicts Him sitting on her arms with a sandal dangling from His foot, which got loosened by His running to His mother, and the two angels on top carrying the instruments of His future torture. Remembering this icon, (in prayer) I ran to my Mother. Within no time, I felt a sudden surge of courage and submission to whatever would come and it stayed with me for the days until I received my result. It was negative, and I was fine; but the whole thing left me permanently confident that my Mother is always with me, carrying me in her arms.

Ira

Reflection of Alma Thompson

I was 8 years old in 1963 when my father had a heart attack and died. We were attending 8:00 Mass, on the feast of Christ the King, when he began to have symptoms. Mother spoke of it always. When he began to sweat profusely and have chest pain during Consecration, he sat down and told Mom he felt badly. And she always said that it was at this time that she heard the voice of the Blessed Mother saying, "Do you not realize that I am his mother?" She always talked about this, how she was sure she had heard these words, and how she knew she was turning him over to her.

Many years later, in 2003, my mother passed away. I held her in my arms as I turned her over to God. Then came the hardest time--going to her house, to begin to go through her things to dispose of some and to save others. First, I sat at the kitchen table and cried. I cried until I couldn't cry any more, and then I rose from my chair and turned around, and my eyes fell on a church bulletin that she had laying on a side table. On it was a picture of the Virgen de Guadalupe, and the words on it read, in the words of the Virgen de Guadalupe to Juan Diego, "Let nothing frighten you nor afflict you. Am I not here, who am your mother?" And I knew that Mary was there with me, and I was able to finish my task. I joined the Guadalupana Society while my mother was alive. Mama was a Guadalupana, as was her mother. But I know that it was when I lost my mother that our Sorrowful Mother knew I was hurting, and came to comfort me, as she comforted my mother when she lost the only man she ever loved in her life.

“Dear children! Today I call you to look into your hearts sincerely and for a long time. What will you see in them? Where is my Son in them and where is the desire to follow me to Him? My children, may this time of renunciation be a time when you will ask yourself: 'What does my God desire of me personally? What am I to do?' Pray, fast and have a heart full of mercy. Do not forget your shepherds. Pray that they may not get lost, that they may remain in my Son so as to be good shepherds to their flock. ”

Our Lady looked at all those present and added:

“Again I say to you, if you knew how much I love you, you would cry with happiness.

Thank you. ”

In a little book that my husband, Charles, gave me, called Jesus is My All in All: Praying with the “Saint of Calcutta,” Mother Teresa, I read:

When asked by a reporter: “Mother, what place do you give to Jesus in your life?,” she immediately replied, “I give Him all the place.”

Knowing even just a little of Blessed Mother Teresa’s life, who would doubt the sincerity of her statement? Blessed Mother Teresa, please pray for us, that we will also give Jesus “all the place” in our lives. Our call to spiritual conversion is a call to give Jesus “all the place” in our lives. With St. John the Baptist, our souls are moved to proclaim, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30).

When we seek Jesus, He leads us into our hearts, that we may experience His Heart. A small group of Little Handmaids and a couple friends are doing the 33 days of preparation to do the total consecration to Jesus through Mary of St. Louis de Montfort on the feast of the Annunciation, March 25. In a book called 33 Days to Morning Glory we read about St. Louis de Montfort leading peasant volunteers in a French town to build a huge monument to the Passion of Christ. After 15 months of loving labor to build the monument, it is completed and the Bishop is scheduled to come and bless it. However, before the Bishop can bless the monument, St. Louis learns that the government is going to destroy the monument, because some enemies have told the government the lie that it has been built as a fortress against authorities. St. Louis stands before the thousands who have come for the blessing and says, “We had hoped to build a Calvary here; let us build it in our hearts.” St. Louis de Montfort, please pray for us, that we may also build a Calvary in our hearts.

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me

and gave Himself for me” (Gal. 2:20).

After reading that passage about St. Louis de Montfort in 33 Days to Morning Glory, my friend, Alma, emailed me:

Today's reading made me think about how petty and just plain spoiled I can be when things don't go as planned. Just a few days ago, I was trying to make a copy of the Divine Mercy Chaplet to carry in my car, and I "wanted it to look pretty". The whole time I felt like Jesus was telling me, "I don't care how it looks on paper,--how does it look in your soul?" But I kept trying, and finally I had to give up, and I was angry, because I felt that God should have let me make it look nice. I'd worked on it for 45 minutes, after all! Then I read today's reading, and I felt ashamed. Even though I'd already confessed my sin, I still felt shame. These people had worked and planned for 15 months, only to have it torn down! And all St Louis de Montfort said was,"...Let us build it in our hearts. Blessed be God." Wow! I was ready to throw myself on the floor and kick and scream and drum my heels over a copy that I knew I was wasting time on, because "pretty" is not what God wants. He wants our love, our trust, our devotion, our soul. What a lesson for me! May I learn to accept His holy will always

.

How beautiful that Alma is learning, as we are all called to learn, that “pretty” is not what God wants, that “He wants our love, our trust, our devotion, our soul”! Let us pray with Alma that we will all have the grace to “accept His holy will.” In this way God will restore the beauty that He created in us from our conceptions.

Rosa Maria, one of the Little Handmaids, shares with us her beautiful poem/reflection that is a message of hope for those of us who are seriously on the path to conversion, with the many detours that we take. This is a translation from the Spanish:

“Dear children, Today I call you to open your heart to the Holy Spirit and to permit Him to transform you. My children, God is the immeasurable good and therefore, as a mother, I implore you to pray, pray, pray, fast and hope that it is possible to attain that good, because love is born of that good. The Holy Spirit will reinforce that good in you and you will be able to call God your Father. Through this exalted love, you will sincerely come to love all people and, through God, consider them brothers and sisters. Thank you. ”

It is also reported that as Our Lady gave her blessing she said: "On the way on which I lead you to my Son, those who represent Him walk beside me"

(Our Lady of Medjugorje’s Message of November 2, 2007)

I believe that Our Lady is the greatest evangelist of all time. In the 16th century, within eight years of Our Lady of Guadalupe’s appearances to St. Juan Diego on the hill of Tepeyac near Mexico City, 9 million Indians throughout Mexico converted to Christianity. No one truly knows how many times the Virgin Mary has appeared throughout the world, wherever her children have listening hearts. The Blessed Virgin Mary is calling her children today to say yes to her Divine Son, Jesus, and through Him, to our Heavenly Father.

His Mother said to the servants, “Do whatever He tells you” (Jn 2:5)

I would like to share with you the testimony of the spiritual conversion of Alma, who heard the Lord calling her to give her soul to Him, and whose life has been (and is being) profoundly and beautifully changed by her yes to His call. (Names have been changed.):

“If today you hear His Voice, harden not your hearts”. Psalm 95

It was my nephew Jay’s death that opened my eyes. But no, I’d felt God whispering my name long before that. It made no difference which Catholic church I was in. No matter what state of mind I was in, or what I was holding in my heart, it was as if someone was looking through me, reading my innermost feelings and thoughts—and understanding. And it seemed like it was quite often that I’d hear Psalm 95, and each time I felt that tugging on my heartstrings. I knew, as time passed, that He was calling me, but I turned away my ears, and did not acknowledge His Voice. I felt like He had a place in my life—in church on Sunday. Put Him on a shelf on my way out of church, and pick Him up again next Sunday on my way into church.

Don’t get me wrong, I was raised “in the church”. Mass on Sundays, Communion, the Sacraments. I remember, as a child, knowing that if I waited long enough, the priest would say, “En aquel tiempo…”, and a story about Jesus would begin as he read the gospel. Also, I remember my sister reading Bible stories to us. My favorite one was the one about Solomon and the two women who claimed the same baby. What I mean is, I’ve always been aware of the Presence of God, but it was not really a part of me. I’d go to Mass, and line up for Communion, but it was something I did automatically, without thinking. I’d walk out of church and forget about God until the following Sunday. So you see, I was always AWARE, but not really AWAKE.

And then Jay died. We gathered at the church office to make arrangements for the funeral, and the first thing Father Henry asked was, “What can you tell me about Jay?”, and everyone was quiet, so I spoke up and told him about how good he’d been, how he’d taken care of his mother after her surgery, and how he’d always been a good son, yada, yada, yada. He then asked, “What church did he go to?” Well, he did not go to church. I guess he went once in a while, whenever he felt like it. After the meeting, I stayed for confession. I walked into Father Henry’s office, and he shut the door behind him. And then he turned my life around. I came face to face with my own mortality. Why should I take it for granted that I’m going to live forever? Jay went to bed one night and never woke up. It could happen to me! Crudely speaking, I could be caught (not literally, I hope), with my pants down!

Life is a transient thing, and it can end at any time, and I knew that something in me had to acknowledge the Lord. I felt that I needed to find out why He’d been calling me. I JUST KNEW He was. On that day I gave my life, heart, and soul to Jesus.

At Mass the following Sunday, the verse after Communion was “I chose you—you didn’t choose me” John 15:16. That was directed right at me. I’d been feeling Him around me, even when I didn’t want Him around. I could feel His thoughts intertwined with mine, telling me, “Do this.” And it would persist until I followed through.

Like that homeless man I’d seen before at restaurants, drinking coffee and staring out the window, into what? He was always alone, physically and, I just knew, spiritually as well. I paid for his lunch once, and he never knew who paid. And the Voice, said, “Good, but…” It was like I’d fed a stray dog. He was a person, but I might as well have tossed a bone in his direction.

Sometime later, I saw him again, and I opened my purse to give him a couple of dollars, but all I had was a ten, and I thought, “No way! I can’t give him that!” And I closed my purse. But the Feeling persisted, saying, “Give it to him.” Moodily I got the money and walked to him and asked, “Have you eaten?” And he turned to me and we locked eyes. I still remember those eyes, like they were looking into my soul. “Not really”, he answered. I gave him the money and turned away, and as I walked off I heard him say, “God bless you.” Did The Feeling make him say that to me by way of approval? Because as much as I tried to deny it, I felt the presence of God, I felt like in his eyes I had seen Jesus eyes. That evening, as I read my Word Among Us, it spoke about not turning away from the wanderers, for you never know if they are angels of God. So you see, God was directing my life through Scripture.

After I gave my soul to God, I went through stages. First came such a feeling of awe, and enormous gratitude, that He had tapped ME on the shoulder and had extended his loving hand to me that I would cry during the entire Mass. I’d feel Love in my heart, and the tears would roll down my cheeks. For who am I, that the Lord has chosen ME, of all people, as unworthy as I am? Since then I’ve felt joy, trust, and the knowledge that I’m safe in His hands. I am ready to live in, for, and by His word.

As St. Paul wrote to the Colossians in 1:21-23, “You were once alienated and hostile in mind because of evil deeds. God has now reconciled you in the fleshly Body of Christ through his death, to present you holy, without blemish, and irreproachable before him, provided that you persevere in the faith, firmly grounded, stable, and not shifting from the hope of the Gospel that you heard, which has been preached to every creature under heaven.”

Conversion is a daily transformation. The closer we draw to God, and the more we say yes to His directives to us, the more grace we will receive to be transformed. Grace is not something magical or easy. Yes, it is gift, yet it is a gift that we must consent to use. Right now, at this moment, Jesus is calling you (and me) to convert.

“Everything around you is passing, and everything is falling apart; only the glory of God remains…I am especially praying for the shepherds, that they may be worthy representatives of my Son and may lead you with love on the way of truth. Thank you.”

(excerpt from message of Our Lady of Medjugorje, Sept. 2, 2011)

January 2012: Part 4: “I Am the Way, the Truth, and the Life”

“Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and take you to Myself, that where I am you also may be. And you know the way where I am going.” Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going; how can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father but by Me. If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; henceforth you know Him and have seen Him.” Philip said to Him, “Lord, show us the Father, and we shall be satisfied.” Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you so long, and yet you do not know Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own authority; but the Father who dwells in Me does His works. Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me; or else believe Me for the sake of the works themselves.” (John 14:1-11)

When I was in Medjugorje in 1991, at every Mass I experienced the Father’s Heart so powerfully drawing me to the altar. All of the Masses were very crowded, with many people standing, but I never worried about whether I had a place to sit. I just kept inching my way through the crowd towards the altar. I wondered why I was experiencing the Father’s Heart, because, “Isn’t it Jesus who is present in the Blessed Sacrament?” Then I remembered that Jesus had said, “Do You not believe that I am in the Father and the Father in Me?” Jesus is the Way to our loving Father, who is longing for us to come home to Him.

Pilate said to Him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I have come into the world, to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.” Pilate said to Him, “What is truth?” (John 18: 37-38)

Today we live in a world full of Pilates, who ask, “What is truth?” They do not know that truth exists. They believe that there are only opinions and preferences. They believe that “truth is relative,” that whatever I believe is truth for me, and whatever you believe is truth for you, even if the two beliefs are totally opposed to each other.

Today we live in a world full of people who are blind to the truth. “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter” (Isaiah 5:29). (What an apt description of the culture of death in which we live!) We live in a world in which Christ is again (and again) crucified in His true disciples by those who—with no knowledge of truth—will bow down to whatever is “politically correct” at the moment. Yet St. John the Evangelist tells us in his Gospel: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5).

“The glory of God is man fully alive,”St. Ireneus wrote. Our Lady of Medjurgorje tells us that “only the glory of God remains.” It is through the Holy Eucharist received with a believing heart that we come “fully alive.”It is in the Holy Eucharist that the “the glory of God remains.” In John 6 we can read and meditate on Jesus’ words about the “life” that we receive through His Body and Blood:

(27) “Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of man will give to you; for on Him has God the Father set His seal”…

(33) For the Bread of God is that which comes down from heaven, and gives life to the world.”

(35) Jesus said to them, “I am the Bread of Life; he who comes to Me shall not hunger, and He who believes in Me shall never thirst”…(40) “For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day”…(47-48) “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes has eternal life. I am the Bread of Life”…(51) “I am the Living Bread which came down from heaven; if anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is My flesh”…

(53-54) So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the Flesh of the Son of man and drink His Blood, you have no life in you; he who eats My Flesh and drinks My Blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day”…”

(66-69) After this many of His disciples drew back and no longer went about with Him. Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also wish to go away?” Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; and we have believed, and have come to know, that You are the Holy One of God.”

Our Lady of Medjugorje’s message to Mirjana Soldo of January 2nd, 2012

Dear children; As with motherly concern I look in your hearts, in them I see pain and suffering; I see a wounded past and an incessant search; I see my children who desire to be happy but do not know how. Open yourselves to the Father. That is the way to happiness, the way by which I desire to lead you. God the Father never leaves His children alone, especially not in pain and despair. When you comprehend and accept this, you will be happy. Your search will end. You will love and you will not be afraid. Your life will be hope and truth which is my Son. Thank you. I implore you, pray for those whom my Son has chosen. Do not judge because you will all be judged.

“Everything around you is passing, and everything is falling apart; only the glory of God remains. Therefore, renounce everything that distances you from the Lord. Adore Him alone, because He is the only true God. I am with you and I will remain with you. I am especially praying for the shepherds, that they may be worthy representatives of my Son and may lead you with love on the way of truth. Thank you.”

(excerpt of message of Our Lady of Medjugorje, Sept. 2, 2011)

December 2011: Part 3: “O Come Let Us Adore Him”

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him might not perish but might have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

In this world the Christ Child is being more and more exiled. Walmart and other major department stores are selling “holiday” cards, “holiday” trees, “holiday” gifts, and the other usual sources of huge profit, while the name “Christmas,” which expresses the true “reason for the season,” is nowhere to be found in their buildings.

People wander from store to store, anxious over what to buy for family and friends, and it seems to me that hearts long to give in the season of Advent, that no matter how much people buy, they never feel that they have spent or given enough. Maybe it’s because we have lost sight of the True Gift. Maybe it’s because we haven’t received the True Gift into our empty hearts. We do not know what we truly long for.

We have lost sight of the reason for which the Christ Child came to that cold cave, which was like an image of the cold world which has never warmly received Him. Yes, there were a few souls who came to adore and worship this newborn King—some shepherds and three wise men—hearts hungering for the salvation that He brought with Him, hungering for the wonder of His infinite love, reflecting the love of His Father (and ours) who gave Him to us to suffer, even from His birth and throughout His life, and to die that we might have eternal life. How many souls are theretoday—to use Our Lady’s words—who fervently desire to adore Him alone, because He is the only true God?

Maybe it’s appropriate that the name “Christmas” has been banished from the department stores, because I imagine Jesus going into the department stores—as He did in the temple--and overturning the tables and shelves and shouting, “These material things are not the Gift that My Father has sent to you! This is not the reason for My coming!” The artificial holiday trees, the garlands and glitter, are signs of a world that wants to cover up its emptiness with illusions of happiness, either blind to the truth that true joy and true love require sacrifice, or unwilling to make the sacrifice: the living sacrifice of our hearts to the Living God.

“O come let us adore Him”…” in Spirit and in Truth.” O come let us adore Him, Really Present in all of the tabernacles of the world—present even from His very conception in the Blessed Virgin Mary’s womb. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”

(Heb. 13:8).

“O come let us adore Him”…”Jesus, who for a little while was made lower than the angels, crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God He might taste death for everyone” (Heb. 2:9)...”For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom.6:23).

“O come let us adore Him”…who “although He was a Son,…learned obedience through what He suffered” (Heb. 5:8). “O come let us adore Him”…”Jesus”…who “suffered…in order to sanctify the people through His own blood” (Heb. 13:12)…”Christ…suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in His steps”(1 Pet. 2:21)…”When He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten; but He trusted to Him who judges justly” (1 Pet. 2:23).

“O come let us adore Him”…“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God—“ (Eph. 2:8).

“O come let us adore Him”…”While we were still weak, Christ died for the ungodly” (Rom. 5:6)...”For to this end Christ died and lived again that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living” (Rom. 14:9).

“O come let us adore Him”…for “ grace was given to each of us according to the measure of Christ's gift” (Eph. 4:7).

“O come let us adore Him”…”And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Eph. 5:2)…”Through Him let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge His name” (Heb. 13:15)…“I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship”

“Everything around you is passing, and everything is falling apart; only the glory of God remains. Therefore, renounce everything that distances you from the Lord. Adore Him alone, because He is the only true God. I am with you and I will remain with you. I am especially praying for the shepherds, that they may be worthy representatives of my Son and may lead you with love on the way of truth. Thank you.”

(excerpt of message of Our Lady of Medjugorje, Sept. 2, 2011)

November 2011: Part 2: The Shield of Faith

“…besides all these, taking the shield of faith,

with which you can quench all the flaming darts of the evil one.” (Eph 6:16)

In 1962 the U.S. Supreme Court banned prayer from public school classrooms; and in subsequent cases prayer by teachers or administrators (or planned or sanctioned by them) at school functions, such as sports events and graduations, has been banned. Only prayer organized by students, without any kind of input from school personnel, is now allowed in schools. In a shocking case in Castroville, Texas this past school year, the valedictorian was told that she could not pray as part of her graduation speech. This directive was reversed when a Christian legal defense group took the case to court. It is an example of how some organizations and institutions have extended this spiritual war even beyond legal prohibitions.

In these and other ways, our society has been bringing about the “passing” of faith, “bequeathing” to our children a secular society in which, even in many social settings, it is unacceptable to express faith in God, or even to use His Name. It occurred to me that, in this spiritual vacuum, we urgently need champions of faith to inspire us to stand firm and “take the shield of faith,” no matter how “politically incorrect” that may be. David, who slew the giant Goliath, is just such a champion.

When David decided to fight the giant, Goliath, he was confident that he would kill him. Why? Not because he had confidence in himself, but because he had unshakeable faith in the Lord. In 1 Sam. 17, we read that he said, “…who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?”(v. 26).

King Saul offered his armor to David, who didn’t own any armor, because he was only a shepherd boy, who had nonetheless already killed lions and bears (with faith in God), who had attacked his father’s sheep. But David turned the offer down, because, he told the king, he had never used armor before. Insteadhe “put on the…armor of God...He was “strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might” (Eph 6:10-11)… Then he took his staff in his hand, and chose five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in his shepherd’s bag, or wallet; his sling was in his hand, and he drew near to the Philistine” (1 Sam 17:40).

When Goliath approached David, he said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin; but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand…that all this assembly may know that the Lord saves not with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s and He will give you into our hand” (vs. 44, 47) He put one of the stones into his sling and slung it, striking Goliath on his forehead, and he fell on his face to the ground. Then David, who had no sword, ran and stood over the Philistine and killed him with his own sword.

How did David possess such extraordinary faith? In the midst of an army of experienced warriors, he was an inexperienced youth. I believe that his great faith was the fruit of the time he spent as a shepherd, alone with only his sheep and the living God. “Living God” was not a term that he had memorized; it expressed his living experience with God. He not only believed in God; he knew Him. David is believed to have written somewhere close to half of the Psalms: beautiful heart expressions of a man who loved the Lord and trusted Him with all of his most intimate emotions. Author of the Shepherd Psalm (Psalm 23), he who was a shepherd knew the incomparable love of the Good Shepherd, who leads us to “green pastures” and “still waters,” who “restores our souls” and defends and “comforts”us with His “rod” and His “staff”; who never leaves us. “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” It is God who is goodness and mercy.

We are all capable of becoming “champions of faith,” each of us in the vocations and missions that the Lord calls us to. In order for our faith to grow into those heroic dimensions, we must spend time with the living God. In solitude and silence, we must learn to surrender our hearts to the Sacred and Merciful Heart of Jesus; we must truly experience God as our Good Shepherd, and more truly as our loving Father.

If you haven’t been spending time with Him every day, I encourage you to set aside a time every day—even if for only 5 minutes in the beginning. If you are consistent in spending that time with Him, your desire to spend time with your Father will grow, and the length of time that you spend will increase. It is this “quiet time” spent with our God that is the remedy for the loss of faith in our increasingly godless society. It is the growth of faith in our individual hearts that will increase the faith in our nations.

M. Nadine, in her book “God’s Armor,” shares with us her conversation with Jesus about faith (pg. 42):

There is nothing natural about the gift of faith or any of these gifts. They are supernatural and are given to us to help us do supernatural things. I asked the Lord, “What kept You on the water? Peter didn’t do very well.” Jesus said, “My Father’s love.” Jesus was always held in the Father’s love. The Father’s love is what ultimately moves behind the gift of faith. It is the power of His love. The Father’s love is like the engine in a car; it gives it the power to move. Once we begin to trust in that kind of love, then we begin to trust in the Person who is Love. We know then that this Love, the Father Himself, will carry us through.”

Ever since I read the message of September 2, 2011 from Our Lady of Medjugorje, I have spent much time reflecting on and praying about its meaning, and about the moral decline of modern society: a “falling apart” of true moral values. Our Lady urgently calls to us:

"Dear children; with all my heart and soul full of faith and love in the Heavenly Father, I gave my Son to you and am giving Him to you anew. My Son has brought you, the people of the entire world, to know the only true God and His love. He has led you on the way of truth and made you brothers. Therefore, my children, do not wander, do not close your heart before that truth, hope and love. Everything around you is passing and everything is falling apart, only the glory of God remains. Therefore, renounce everything that distances you from the Lord. Adore Him alone, because He is the only true God. I am with you and I will remain with you. I am especially praying for the shepherds that they may be worthy representatives of my Son and may lead you with love on the way of truth. Thank you."

A friend of mine sent me (via email) a 5-part video series from Women of Grace Television Show, hosted by Johnette Benkovic. This particular 5-part series, which I have begun viewing, is Mrs. Benkovic’s interviews with Fr. Joseph Esper, author of Spiritual Dangers in the 21st Century. The ideas discussed by Fr. Esper and Mrs. Benkovic in the first program (America in Decline, which aired on EWTN on June 13, 2011) havehelped to shape my reflections, which I share with you in this devotional.

The words of Our Lady that ring in my mind and seem to pound in my heart are: “Everything around you is passing and everything is falling apart…” Sounds frightening, doesn’t it?In Mark 5:36 “…Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue (whose daughter, apparently, had died), ‘Do not fear, only believe.’” I believe that everything must pass, and everything must fall apart in order that only the glory of God will remain. I believe the Lord’s words in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

And I also see and believe that Satan has had and continues to have plans for us: evil plans for our spiritual destruction and our damnation. At the same time, I believe that Satan, although he is very powerful in relation to man, has no power whatsoever in relation to Almighty God, our Savior. Isaiah 5:20 states: “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” Woe to those who dare to fight the Living God!

Fr. Joseph Esper writes and speaks about events in America that have planted destructive ideas that have caused a greater and greater decline in the “moral fabric of our nation.” The first such event that he mentioned was the publication in 1948 of Alfred Kinsey’s book, Sexuality in the American Male. I remember reference to that book in a college psychology course that I took in 1973. In it Kinsey published the results of surveys of American men about their sexual behaviors, and the implication of it, as published in my textbook, was that any behavior that could be recorded from the surveys, was natural and good, simply because it occurred. It is clear to me that that book contained some of the most powerful seeds of the sexual revolution of the 1960’s, in which premarital sex, sexual promiscuity, and living together before marriage began to be regarded by an increasing number of people as okay. While there has been sexual sin from the time of the Fall, at one time most people believed that purity and self control in sexuality was good: to be desired and sought after. During the “sexual revolution,” people who waited until marriage to have sex, only with their husband or wife, began to be considered “uptight,” or “repressed.”

The fruit of that “sexual revolution” grows increasingly bitter. Divorce rates have dramatically increased since the passing of “no-fault” divorce laws in the 1960’s. Homosexual men and women have “come out of the closet” and can even get married to each other in some states, perverting God’s plan (from the very beginning) of a life-time marriage between a man and a woman. Recently, I read that some pedophiles are banding together to go to the American Psychological Association to ask them to state that pedophilia is not a disorder, and they are claiming that the sex that they have with children is “consensual.” It is a “downward spiral” of evil.

At the end of her message Our Lady says: “I am especially praying for the shepherds that they may be worthy representatives of my Son and may lead you with love on the way of truth.”Recently a priest at our parish asked that the Little Handmaids would pray “that priests would not be seduced by the spirit of secularism in our society.” Soon after his request, I read some articles about two Catholic priests—one American and one Canadian—who were disciplined by their bishops for preaching boldly against the sin of homosexual acts. All of our priests, at every level of authority, urgently need our prayers.

From Our Lady of Medjugorje’s message of October 2, 2011, we can see that the most powerful medicine for all of this spiritual sickness is our personal relationship with God the Father:

"Dear children; Also today my motherly heart calls you to prayer, to your personal relationship with God the Father, to the joy of prayer in Him. God the Father is not far away from you and He is not unknown to you. He revealed Himself to you through my Son and gave you Life that is my Son. Therefore, my children, do not give into temptations that want to separate you from God the Father. Pray! Do not attempt to have families and societies without Him. Pray! Pray that your hearts may be flooded with the goodness which comes only from my Son, Who is sincere goodness. Only hearts filled with goodness can comprehend and accept God the Father. I will continue to lead you. In a special way I implore you not to judge your shepherds. My children, are you forgetting that God the Father called them? Pray! Thank you.”

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October is the month of the Most Holy Rosary; the month of Missions; and Respect Life Month. Please offer your daily Rosary for:

·The turning of our hearts to Our Father

·His blessing on all missionaries

·All of “the shepherds, that they may be worthy representatives of Jesus, and may lead us with love on the way of truth.”

·That He will give us the grace to grow in the virtue of purity

·That He will give us the grace to grow in respect for life from the moment of conception until natural death

In honor of Our Lady of Sorrows, whose feast we celebrate on September 15. She is our Sorrowful Mother, who suffered all with her Son, Jesus,

and continues to suffer with all of her children

When Sofia was first diagnosed, at the age of 4, with pervasive developmental disorder, it was a terrifying time for me. We were living in a town where we had no extended family and no friends; it was the only place where Charles had been able, at that time, to find a job. And he was in denial about the serious developmental problems of our younger daughter. So I felt painfully alone. One day, as I was walking to our local supermarket with Sofia, I glanced to the right and for a split second saw Jesus walking in the same direction. Without saying a word to me, the Lord clearly communicated: “Do not be afraid; you are not alone; I am with you. We are walking together in the same direction.”

When Sofia was very young, it was very difficult for me to take her to Mass, but I knew the Lord wanted me to do that. She could not sit still and could not be quiet, even though she could not communicate much with language. The Lord has given her the beautiful gift of a very lovely voice, and she can very quickly learn the melody of any song, and she loved to sing at Mass: “Jingle Bells,” “Puff the Magic Dragon,” or whatever else “the Spirit moved her” to sing. For a while I would take her to the “cry room,” but it seemed like she was even too distracting for people in there.

So I began taking her outside and walking the beautiful grounds, and we would take turns singing to each other, and I would talk to her about Jesus and Mary when we would visit the lovely statues on the church grounds. I will never forget the day that she climbed up to where she could see the Baby Jesus in Mother Mary’s arms, and she exclaimed with more awe than I have ever heard from anyone before or since: “Baby Jesus!” We would always go back in the church in time for me to receive Holy Communion, and for Sofia to receive a blessing from the priest.

One Sunday Sofia was sick, and so I left her with her Dad and went to Mass with my older daughter. A friend of mine said, “You are really going to enjoy this Mass,” and, half-heartedly (because I was missing Sofia) I said, “Yes,” and I really hoped that I would enjoy the Mass more. But I didn’t. The surprising thing was that I was not only missing Sofia; I realized that I was not experiencing the same intense closeness to Jesus that I experienced when I was with Sofia; I was missing the powerful presence of the Lord that I experienced with Sofia.

A few nights after that, I had a dream of kneeling behind Sofia, and I hugged her to myself with great love, saying, “I love You, Jesus; I love You, Jesus…” over and over again. This is the first time that the Lord showed me so clearly that, in lovingly caring for Sofia, I was loving and serving Him. And the King will answer them, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to Me” (Mt 25:40).

When Sofia was about 8 years old, we were members of a parish where the priest was really bothered by Sofia’s constant motion and noise. One Sunday, when I entered the church with both of my daughters (Sofia making her usual “noise”), the pastor did not even greet us. He waved us to the cry room. My heart was painfully pierced, knowing that my beloved daughter was not welcome with her “noise.” I took Sofia to the cry room, and I was the one who cried. Tears streamed down my face, as I silently cried about all of the times Sofia had been excluded and rejected. It hurt more than ever to have our pastor exclude us. But I knew why we were there. I knew we had come to honor Jesus, not the pastor, and so I said to Him, as I cried: “We are here for You, Lord, and He immediately responded to me, “You (both of my daughters and I) are welcome in My Heart.” I was immediately consoled by the Lord’s love.

Soon after that the Lord directed me to attend the church where every member of my family was welcomed and warmly loved. That is the parish where Sofia made her First Communion. At a Mass celebrated especially for her, she shone as the Lord’s Beloved as He came to her in His Most Holy Sacrament. She was also loved by all who helped to make her day so special. She had been prepared for the sacrament by a very kind lady—who remains our dear friend—who always warmly welcomed her into her house, greeting her by calling her “My Angel.” At her special Mass my hyperactive child calmly and reverently received Our Lord. After the First Communion Mass, the prayer group who had organized it gave Sofia a beautiful reception, where she received many very special gifts.

Thirteen years later, Sofia is still a little child, developmentally. Her life is still very much a challenge for her, and for my husband and me. Several weeks ago my husband was working all night, and so Sofia and I were alone at our house. At 4:30 in the morning I woke up to Sofia’s scream, and I went immediately to her bed, where she was whining loudly. Without knowing what the problem was, since she cannot tell me, I tried to calm her by speaking to her soothingly. She screamed again and hit me. I think she may have had a nightmare.

And so, I sat next to her and prayed for her. After a little while I began praying the Divine Mercy chaplet. This is my “urgent need” prayer, because Jesus told St. Faustina that we can obtain anything that is God’s will through praying this chaplet, if we trust in Him as we pray it. I was meditating on the sorrowful mysteries as I prayed it, and when I got to the fourth mystery—Jesus carries His Cross—a powerful image came to me, and I experienced the Lord’s presence through that image.

In that image Jesus was sitting on the ground underneath His Cross, too tired to get up, and I was sitting next to Him, feeling the same way. In the image Jesus and I rested our heads against each other’s, and I felt one with Him in our suffering. I cannot describe to you the consolation that I felt through that experience. As I was experiencing this, Sofia became totally calm, and we were both able to go back to sleep.

“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.” (Isaiah 53:4)

I have been pondering that image ever since. It occurred to me that I only saw one Cross in the image, and I wondered why I didn’t see my cross and Sofia’s cross. The Lord has given me the understanding that, when we share our suffering with Him, there is only one cross: the Cross of Jesus Christ.

I have heard it said that the three most important words in a marriage are: “I love you.” However, my experience in my 24-year marriage has been that often, before I can say, “I love you,” I must first sincerely say, “I’m sorry.”In fact, it is a rare day when I do not need to set things right” with my husband at least once during the day by apologizing for some impatient or unkind words or some inconsiderate act; and my husband has also apologized more times than we can count.

Likewise, in my relationship with the Lord, there isn’t a day that passes that I do not express sorrow for some thought(s), word(s), or act(s) that I know have offended Him.What moves me to express that sorrow is a genuine regret about offending Him, “because You are all good and deserving of all my love.”The Lord seeks to have spiritual union with us, a kind of spiritual marriage, but that union cannot exist for long if we are too proud or too fearful or too unconcerned to tell Him that we’re sorry when we offend Him.Often I express that sorrow as soon as I have sinned in some way against Him, but sometimes in the stress of the moment, I forget.

And so, once a day, I take the time to review my day. I begin by giving thanks for the patient, kind, peaceful, loving moments of my day, and as I am remembering those moments, I also become aware of the moments when I lost my patience, was unkind, or in any way caused pain to my husband, my daughter, myself, or anyone else through sinful attitudes. I ask the Lord to forgive me for those and all of my sins and to give me the grace to overcome those sins; and to also give me the grace to forgive myself for those sins and to forgive anyone who has offended me. What a relief to get those sins “off of my chest!” I feel so much lighter, and my closeness to the Lord is restored. Without that daily examination of conscience the wall between the Lord and me would get higher and higher. Likewise, in my marriage to Charles we often talk about our day at the end of it, and we “clear the air” at that time if there are any “leftover” hard feelings. Without that frequent “clearing of the air,” resentment would build and build, and there would be no room for “I love you’s.”

A daily examination of conscience is essential for our personal conversion, but it cannot take the place of the Sacrament of Confession, where we receive the most powerful grace of conversion. The Church only obligates us to go to sacramental confession once a year, but can you imagine a marriage surviving if the spouses only had one ritual act of apologizing once a year? The more often and the more deeply we are reconciled with the Lord, the closer we can draw to Him. It is reported that, on August 6, 1982, Our Lady, Queen of Peace, appearing in Medjugorje stated: “Monthly confession will be a remedy for the Church in the West. One must convey this message to the West.”

What does the Church in the West need a remedy for? I believe that reflecting deeply on this parable of Jesus from Luke 18:9-14 will give us some light on that question:

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and despised others:"Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, 'God, I thank thee that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.'But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me a sinner!'I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."

(Luke 18:9-14)

If we think ourselves too good to need frequent confession, I believe that we are like the Pharisee, who “trusted in himself that he was righteous and despised others.” Through monthly confession, we can gradually become more and more like the tax collector, “who standing far off,would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner.’” We will become more humble and more trusting in the mercy of God, instead of trusting in ourselves “that we are righteous.” It is the prayer of the Little Handmaids of our Sorrowful Mother that the Church will be restored through sacramental confession in a spirit of humility.

I believe that the need for this spirit of repentance is growing ever more urgent. On July 2, 2011, it is reported (www.medjugorje.ws) that Our Lady of Medjugorje gave the following message to us through Mirjana:

Dear children; today I call you to a difficult and painful step for your unity with my Son. I call you to complete admission and confession of sins, to purification.An impure heart cannot be in my Son and with my Son. An impure heart cannot give the fruit of love and unity. An impure heart cannot do correct and just things; it is not an example of the beauty of God’s love to those who surround it and to those who have not come to know that love. You, my children, are gathering around me full of enthusiasm, desires and expectations,and I implore the Good Father to, through the Holy Spirit, put my Son—faith, into your purified hearts. My children, obey me, set out with me.It is also reported that, as Our Lady was leaving, to her left she showed darkness and to her right a Cross in golden light. To “admit and confess” our sins is a “difficult and painful step” that purifies our heart.It is that step that will bring light into the darkness of our souls. In this message Our Lady was clearly not speaking to lost sinners, but to those of us who have already experienced God’s love and are enthusiastic about being close to Our Lady. She is showing us the way that will enable us to come into full union with her Son, Jesus, and she is challenging us to be “an example of the beauty of God’s love…to those who have not come to know that love.” The light of Christ must first shine in us, purifying us, before it can shine out from us to others. It is the Cross of conversion.