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Updated on
October 02, 2009,
L.R.
asks from
Denver, CO
on
September 28, 2009

Social

How do I make friends? I am afraid. I have four children under the age of 12. They keep me very very busy. But I now feel I that I have earnt little time for myself. My lttle ones are all at school and are very robust. Thanks for your time, from the Kiwi, Downunder.

L.:
When my sons were younger, I joined a local mom's club! it was a lot of fun to meet the other moms and their children! We evantually broke off on our own and met separately and still have wonderful relationships with these families! I am also a Mary Kay consultant and find that allows me to meet lotsof other women and even make $ doing so!

Church is a great spot to start. Parent groups at school and other small groups are a nice place to look at your choices. :) I keep my eyes open for the same faces I see everyday, like the lady who stands under the tree picking up the kids after school, for example. Then I eventually say hi, and start asking questions about them. With each new interaction we know each other better. Good luck!

I am reserved naturally but have been working on this for about 15 years. For me it is easier to be social when I have my kids with me. People seam more friendly when they can look at your kids rather then you, the mom. However I think I have become a good conversationalist with out my kids too. Meeting people at kid activities is easy. But you say your kids are all in school, so I would pick a few things that interest you: art classes, the gym, volunteering at the school or library, knitting groups anything that you would like to do. That way the people you will be around already have something in common with you. Most people like to talk about themselves. For that reason, it is so easy to start conversations with a question. Anything really, like how are you today? How many kids do you have? What is your name? If you see them at a certain place often you can comment on that too. "Hello again, I see you here so often, what is your name?" Or "I need your name so I can say hi" etc... If they are good conversationalist too, they will return the questions and Wa-la you have a friend. After a few meetings and conversations you can exchange phone numbers and meet for other things or perhaps get your families together. Another great place to meet people is a church. If you have a belief in God, then you will already have something in common with all the people there.
I have found the best thing you can do for meeting people is to make yourself approachable. Smile at people you pass by and look and be friendly! One of the most comforting things is when someone talks to you and they look into your eyes, and seem genuinely interested in what you are saying. Do this to others and you will see that people will want to be around you. It is amazing how many more people will talk to you if you make eye contact, smile and say hi.
You can do this!
Good luck,
E.

You have some great suggestions already. Remember "birds of a feather flock together" so decide what area of your life you would like to improve in and then find other ladies who are doing the same. I agree that church is the best place to start. Depending how little your youngest is, you can find good friendships in Mothers of Preschoolers. Check out www.mops.org.

Dear Kiwi. I am an expert at this!!! So here is my advice.
Go to places you like. Take a class. Get involved with a womens book club or reading group. Check with your local college or university for community classes. Take yourself out on pampering "dates" to get a massage, or to theatre or symphony type events (avoid movies and restaurants) but films with question and answer times are good. Volunteer for a charity that you support. Get involved with a political group or club. Get a part-time job. While you are taking care of yourself you will find like minded friends. And it is much easier to make friends when you are doing activities together.
Another idea is to start with what you have. Invite another mother you know or interesting neighbor to have lunch or coffee with you. if you have one friend suggest that she invite other friends too.
Best of Luck
L.

G'day L., I'm not sure where you are currently living but if you are in Northern Colorado, I have some great groups including one for Aussies and Kiwi's (I am a NZ born, Oz raised, CO living Mum!!) If you are in the area, I would love to be a resource for you. If not, definitely check out www.meetup.com there are some wonderful groups for all sorts of interests!
Cheers,
K.

I don't know where you live but. I am a member of mothers and more wasatch chapter (south of the valley), there is also a SLC chapter. I am from England, in fact there are a few expats in the group and most are transplants from other states. They have evening meetings, dinner club, book club, playgroups. We are on meetup.com so go check us out. Great bunch of women.

As someone else already posted, meetup.com is a great resource. If you live north of SL there is a group called Northern Wasatch Mommas and we have at least 3 activities per week so there is usually something for everyone. Most ladies are military wives and we have night mom-only activities and then playgroups and such as well.