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Dr Evil in court over intruder death

Douglas Powers, better known as international super-villain Dr Evil, is set to appear in court today to face charges over the alleged unlawful killing of a burglar at a hollowed out volcano, which doubles as his home and workplace.

This is the latest in a series of high-profile cases of intruders being killed by householders defending their home, and like the others, is expected to come down to the question of how far it is acceptable to go when protecting your property. The prosecution claim that operating a 200-strong private army, equipped with high-powered assault rifles, simply cannot be seen as falling within the grounds of ‘reasonable force’ and are calling for the defendant to be sentenced for manslaughter.

Alex Sargent QC, defending Dr Evil in court, insists that his client acted purely in self defence, fearing that the lives of him and his family were in danger. ‘All Dougie did was what anybody else would have done in the same situation – if they had 200 heavily armed men at their command. Confronted by a gun-wielding intruder in the middle of the night he defended himself, his family, and his lair, in the only manner available at the time – by ordering a top-hatted Korean and a large squadron of hired soldiers to deal with the situation.’

‘A guilty verdict would send entirely the wrong message, and would tell criminals that they are free to arm themselves and break into homes, safe in the knowledge that the resident is likely to be just as scared of the law as they are of the gun-toting maniac demanding that he cancel the launch sequence for a nuclear warhead targeted at the White House’ he added.

The prosecution however maintains that the reasonable force defence should not successful in cases where the intruder had already been disarmed, restrained, dissected by lasers and thrown into a pool full of sharks.