Don’t Date People You Don’t Want to Sleep With

Every few months or so I have clients come in, men and women both, who want me to help them find the person they are dating attractive. I hear things like “He is exactly the kind of guy I should be dating, and he is cute but …”

Or:

“I like her, she’s really nice and somewhat pretty, but the chemistry just isn’t there. Can you help me?”

What I hear repeatedly is genuine and real love for this other person but not the chemistry needed to want to get intimate on a regular basis.

I hate to be the one to say this but, no matter the circumstances, if you don’t find the person physically attractive, they may be better as a good friend than as a romantic partner. And there is nothing wrong with that. More good friends are good, isn’t it? Who wouldn’t want that?

It’s disrespectful for you and the other person to continue when the person isn’t attractive to you.

Don’t let the idea this is the kind of wholesome person you “should be” dating keep you in a situation that ultimately won’t work.

I first saw my future husband across the room and saw him playing the piano and said to myself, “I want that one!” The fact that he actually was a good match made me very happy but in a healthy relationship the physical attraction often comes first.

If you are finding yourself always being attracted to the “bad boys” rather than an emotional healthy person then that’s a different issue and hypnotherapy can help with that but if the person really isn’t that attractive to you, it may be time to let them go. Trust me, a relationship with no intimacy can end up being miserable. Divorce is expensive and that is often where that ends up going.

Love yourself and the other person enough not to hang on when it’s just not there. You will be doing you both a big favor.