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Friday, February 22, 2008

saying when

It's time.

The fat lady is shrieking.

[insert here several quippy metaphors of your own. make sure they demonstrate graphically the desperate end of an event, or in this case, a 36-year-old woman. extra bonus points if your metaphor includes the words ROPE-- as in 'at the end of', and UNCLE! - as in, 'Lord, have mercy']

All metaphors aside...

i'm exhausted.

There was a day when I had four kids under the age of six, scheduling pretty much every waking moment of my life -- and many, many sleeping moments, too. Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual exhuastion during those days was status quo -- almost a badge of honor.

Thankfully, that day is not today.

Three of the kids are crashing at the church tonight -- going without food to raise money for kids who are truly at the end of their rope without food and clean water. (small shout out for any interested donors...we're still collecting money).

Youngest daughter is going to amazing hero of an aunt's house to sleep over and get spoiled rotten.

Husband is still in Arkansas.

It's time to UNPLUG.

Take the phone off the hook.

Pretend I'm living back in the '80's and do not have access to cell phone, laptop, home computer, DVR, digital cable, the-mother-of-all-that's-right-this-century, Netflix, and iPod...well, maybe not that..that's going too far!

I'm going to blow the layer of dust off my journal, put the kettle on for tea, crank up the fire and ask my Abba on a date.

I miss His Voice.

And, if He feels like it, I'd like Him to talk with me about a (small!) list of things that have been accumulating in my mind -- nagging at me to consider...

Ezekiel chapter 20. Especially the following statements He made... "Son of man, talk with the leaders of Israel. Tell them, 'God, the Master says, "Have you come to ask me questions? As sure as I am the living God, I'll not put up with questions from you...."Son of man, why don't you do it? Yes, go ahead. Hold them accountable. Confront them..." "But they rebelled against me, wouldn't listen to a word I said. None got rid of the vile things they were addicted to. They held on...as if for dear life. I seriously considered inflicting my anger on them in force...Then I thought better of it. I acted out of who I was, not by how I felt. And I acted in a way that would evoke honor, not blasphemy from the nations around them..." [this statement is repeated about five times in one chapter]

this John Maxwell quote a leader asked me to think about "Everyone you know and all the people you meet have the potential to be someone important in the lives of others. All they need is encouragement and motivation from you to help them reach their potential."

this excerpt about "the lure of nothing" from C.S. Lewis in The Screwtape Letters and Screwtape Proposes A Toast "Nothing is very strong: strong enough to steal away a man's best years not in sweet sins but in a dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiosities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labryinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is too weak and fuddled to shake off...The only thing that matters is the extent to which you separate the man from the Enemy...Murder is no better than cards if cards do the trick. Indeed, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts." [thanks to Nancy Beach for posting this]

Chances are Abba and I will end up talking about completely different topics.

I imagine He has a list He's been accumulating for me.

Waiting for me to turn off all the other noise in order to listen for the beautiful noise of Him.

Tamara Hill Murphy

I am Tamara Murphy: born and raised in a cynical, smalltown Northeast still harboring a penchant for hope and big ideas. Now I live in the bright city of Austin, Texas with my audacious and often-homesick family: two daughters, two sons, one husband.

I believe in the power of the written word. I read and write words to make friends with the ancient, present and future. I write to encourage both you and me to see God's presence through daily practices of art, liturgy and relationship.