Danny Brown’s OLD confirmed for 9/30; threatens to leak it on 9/28 if it’s not released 9/29

Threats will get you everywhere. We all know that. And perhaps that’s why Danny Brown, the Adderall Admiral, recently threatened to leak his own album OLD, the long-awaited follow-up to 2011’s excellent XXX, because now label Fool’s Gold has finally confirmed a release date of September 30, according to Consequence of Sound.

We’ve had plenty of Danny Brown in the meantime, though, as he collaborates a shit-ton (including this odd one with Insane Clown Posse) and has been keeping us on our toes with blunt after blunt after blunt after blunt after blunt. Still, OLD is long overdue, a fact that’s underscored by this recent hour-long documentary on OLD, the footage of which was shot way back in 2009:

I guess Eminem was probably talking at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards ceremony last night and he used the opportunity to announce the release of a new album (and/or a new album-length commercial for Beats Audio) that is coming out November 5.

It follows up 2010’s Recovery (TMT Review) and seems to be called MMLPII, which would sorta make it a loose sequel to 2000’s The Marshall Mathers LP.

Sure.

According to Nahright, it was “executive produced by Dr. Dre and Rick Rubin.” And according to Eminem’s website, the first single from the album is called “Berzerk” and is “coming Tuesday.” Then, next to that, there’s some middle fingers.

So, fuck you.

(Here’s some clips of the single, though. And by “clips of the single,” I mean “commercials for those Beats headphones that Dr. Dre sells.)

We are very sad to report that Joey LaCaze, drummer of Eyehategod, has passed away. Though details are sketchy at this point, we’ve received confirmation from a very credible source that he has in fact passed. The band recently completed a tour of Europe and was gearing up for a string of dates in celebration of their 25th anniversary.

If you miss an important event in life, you cannot fill the void by attempting to simply recreate the experience. You must recreate and heighten the experience, producing something exponentially greater than that missed opportunity. If you missed out on a chance to ride a horse, ride an elephant while it swims across a river to a barbeque. If you missed a big used vinyl sale at a great record shop, find the vinyl warehouse that supplies the record shop and have sex with both Loggins and Messina in the warehouse. If you missed seeing Deltron 3030 (a.k.a. Dan the Automator, Kid Koala, and Del the Funky Homosapien) in concert, see them in concert with a 16-piece orchestra or at a festival with Slick Rick, the Wu-Tang Clan, and a hologram of ODB.

Deltron 3030’s fall tour will allegedly support the October 1 release of their perpetually delayed album and/or nine-year performance art piece, Deltron: Event II (on Bulk Recordings). The overdue album is a follow-up to 2000’s futuristic dystopian now-classic Deltron 3030. It somehow includes appearances from Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Amber Tamblyn, David Cross, The Lonely Island, Black Rob, Zach De La Rocha, and someone named Jamie Cullum. If Deltron’s recently-released EP City Rising from the Ashes is any indication, the album will consist of dope beats, complicated sci-fi plots, spacey scratching, and seemingly patternless rhyme structures. On May 15, 2012, Kid Koala described an early cut of the album to this reporter (TMT Exclusive) as “ill.”

Note for readers under the age of 20: Deltron 3030 was a hip-hop group that was beloved by many for their nontraditional subject matter, catchy production, and having two Asian men in their lineup. All three members have been busy with other projects and slowly working on this album since before cell phones could access the internet.

Daniel Zuk, Beatles fan and Edmonton, Alberta-based dentist, has announced a plan to clone John Lennon using DNA from one of Lennon’s teeth. NME reports this.

I may just walk into the ocean.

Zuk bought the tooth for £20,000 in a 2011 auction, because, Jesus Christ, that’s a thing that happened. People got together to sell a piece of bone that was once inside a famous dead person and another person decided to pay a large sum of money for it. That same person has serious plans to clone that dead famous person so that he may live in our world again.

Hey, is anyone trying to clone long-dead rock stars in the ocean? Because that sounds like it might be a good place for me to be.

Here is a thing that Zuk said: “I’m nervous and excited at the possibility we will be able to fully sequence John Lennon’s DNA, very soon I hope. Many Beatles fans remember where they were when they heard John Lennon was shot. I hope they also live to hear the day he got another chance.” Though I’ll admit to knowing little-to-nothing about the process of cloning, I can only imagine that the clone would not retain any of the original person’s memories or experiences, thus negating this Lennon clone’s ability to write songs or perform, skills he learned throughout life. As such, I, too, am excited about the existence of this confused clone who will enter the world with no musical ability, but will be expected to have the same abilities as one of history’s most popular songwriters.

The idea that this may simply be the world’s most expensive prank has dawned on me. The existence of http://www.johnlennontooth.com, a website that uses the phrase “the tooth of the matter” and could well be either the rantings of a madman or a brilliant joke, supports this possibility and soothes me. I’m going fishing.

Has the 21st century got you down? Well we’re only 13 years into it, bucko, so I’d say you better suck it up. We’ve got at least 87 more years of viral YouTube videos and global warming to go before the 22nd century rolls around and everything gets all nice and dandy again. Maybe you’re thinking, “But, Taylor, I don’t have your strength! My muscles are not as lean and toned as yours, and I could never stand strong against the evils of our present era!” Well, first off, thanks so much for noticing! I don’t really work out that much, but it really is satisfying when someone takes note of all the hard work I’ve put in and the progress I’ve made! And second… well, you know what? If you don’t mind, I’m going to go ahead and start a second paragraph for the next thing I’ve got to say.

Hey there! Welcome to the second paragraph, make yourself at home, friend. Like I was saying, if you don’t feel like you’re strong enough to stand against the trials and tribulations of our current age, I may have just the thing for you. You see, Chondritic Sound has got a new LP coming out from the New York industrial and electronic group Believer/Law on October 29. From the looks of it, it’ll be just what the news writer with the great biceps ordered. Believer/Law features members of Cult of Youth, Drunkdriver, Pure Ground, Missing Foundation, and Kama Rupa, so you know they’ve got the skills to hold you over for at least, oh, I don’t know, a decade or two of this retweet-stuffed century.

According to Chondritic, the album, which is called Matters of Life and Death, is “rooted in the trials and tribulations of living in the 21st century.” That’s right! It’s exactly what you’ve been looking for! And get this, instead of “wallowing in the negativity,” they get all uplifting and come to terms with the crushing realities of life itself. Shit is like Oprah with drum machines, and friendo, if Oprah with drum machines won’t solve your problems, then nothing in this world will.