Seeing the Light in Darkness

A rabbi whose wife had breast cancer shares his tools for developing trust in God.

The following article was written 10 days before the author's wife passed away, tragically, on August 8, 2001 (19 Av 5761). May the soul of Elana Golda bas Yisroel Mordechai be bound in the bond of eternal life.

As with all good things in life, trust in God does not just happen. You don't go to bed one night feeling that God is out to get you and wake up the next day confident that you can rely on Him – no matter what you take.

If you want to trust God, it is going to take conscious effort to develop and maintain the emotion.

My wife has metastatic breast cancer. If you are au fait with cancer jargon, you will know that the situation is pretty bad.

At the time she was first diagnosed, I realized that I had many options. I could hide in a corner and block out the world. I could pretend to myself that everything was okay. I could accept the 'inevitable' (as doctors would say) and enjoy the time we had left. Or I could develop a sense of trust in God and allow myself to feel that we are in very good hands.

The last option seemed the most appealing (and the most reasonable). So I set out to try to develop an emotion within myself that was, until that time, pretty dormant. I still have my bad moments. It's not so easy to trust in God when you get bad news after bad news after bad news. Not so easy, but equally not impossible. My pain is usually short-lived and I can quickly reactivate a confidence that God is here with me and I have nothing to fear. Each new development brings with it a test that I cannot be sure I will pass, but, so far so good. If anything, as the situation has worsened, my trust has been growing.

I want to share with you the lessons that I learned, from a number of wise people, in terms of how to develop a feeling of trust. I guarantee that if you put in the time and energy, it works. And it's worth it. You can put your time into fitness and be rewarded with a healthy body. You can put your time into business and be rewarded with material success. Put your time into trusting in God and you will be rewarded with tranquility of heart and mind for eternity.

Two Prerequisites

So how do you do it?

Let's begin with two prerequisites.

Firstly, trust is a feeling. You can intellectualize all you want, but if you don't 'feel' confident that someone will catch you at the bottom, you aren't going to jump.

There is the old story of an atheist who falls off a 2,000-foot smooth cliff. He grabs onto the one twig there is 1,000 feet down. He looks up to Heaven and figures it's worth a shot.

'I will save you, my child,' says God, 'but you have to trust me first. Let go of the twig and I will catch you.'

Trusting God emotionally is different than intellectually knowing He exists.

The atheist looks down at the rocks 1,000 feet below and looks up again.

'Is there anybody else up there?'

The point is clear. You can know there is a God intellectually, but that doesn't mean you will trust Him emotionally. A person can switch from being an atheist to one who knows there is a God in a moment – if he or she were to have a clear experience of God. But trusting in God is a very different matter.

Knowing God Exists

The second prerequisite is that if you want to trust God, you have to first know He exists and loves you. We have a dangerous ability to feel emotions that are intellectually unsupported and unsupportable. People can feel 'love' for a person who has none of the qualities required in order to love them. It's called infatuation. People can find deep meaning in something that is utterly meaningless (Timothy McVeigh felt it was deeply meaningful to kill over one hundred people in Oklahoma.) And people can have faith in something that, intellectually, is clearly false – the Moonies and other cults prey on this constantly.

So too, people can trust in God without being sure that He even exists. It's very possible, but dangerous and incorrect in Jewish thinking. It's dangerous because it's mindless. And wherever there is mindlessness, there is escape from Godliness. And where there is escape from Godliness, there cannot be deep-rooted trust.

Trust cannot be a crutch. It must start with the mind and spread through to the emotions. Otherwise, it is a castle built on sand.

So how do we go about feeling trust in God in a seemingly dark and lonely world? How do we get in touch with the fact that there is a God, whom we can rely on, when at times He seems so distant and impersonal?

The following steps are predicated on the intellectual belief in God's existence. If you've got that, then this is how you can go about getting yourself on the road to trusting Him.

According to the 10th Century classic, Chovot Halevavot, Duties of the Heart, there are seven elements involved in trust in God. If you feel all seven, you will feel trust. I am using an order put together by Rabbi Weinberg, the Rosh Yeshiva of Aish Hatorah. I will explain how I personally relate to each one in the context of my wife's illness in order to make them more practical and relatable.

(1) Tell yourself that: God loves me with a love that is deeper than any parent has ever loved any child. He loves me as a unique individual. I am his special, sweet little baby.

I personally try to imagine God holding me in His arms, smiling at me, as I do with my children, enveloping me with His love.

(2) God knows my every need, my every challenge, and my every problem. He knows what I feel, what I think, what concerns me, what worries me. He knows exactly what's on my mind and He knows it constantly. He doesn't forget about me, not even for a moment. Nothing slips past Him. He 'thinks' about me and my problems 24/7.God knows the location of every cancer cell in my wife's body.

He knows the location of every cancer cell in my wife's body. No rogue cell can slip by His notice and start growing on its own. He is fully aware and cognizant of all that is going on. He also knows what I am worried by. He knows exactly what I am feeling, exactly what I want. He hears every one of my prayers.

(3) God has the power to do anything. There is nothing that I need that he cannot provide. Nothing I am lacking that He cannot give me. He is able to solve all of my problems and solve them immediately. He is able to prevent any problem arising.

He is able to take away every cancer cell instantly. He can change the whole situation around in a moment. And it's not difficult for Him to do so. My wife could jump out of bed tomorrow, free of cancer, as though nothing had ever happened.

(4) Nothing else has any power. There is nothing that works independent of God. Nothing, no matter how small, can or does happen without His full approval. He does not give over His power to other forces. He remains in full control at all times.

There is no cancer; there is just God. There is no chemotherapy; there is just God. Cancer cells do not grow by themselves; God makes them grow. And there is not a single one that can grow without God's 'expressed' desire for it to do so. God and cancer are not adversaries. They are partners.

(5) God has done so much for me until now. He has given me life. He has given me freewill. He makes my heart beat. He makes the blood run round my body. He gives me air to breathe, food to eat. He provides warmth. You name it, He has done it. He has a track record of complete and utter goodness. Anything that I need or want is like asking my father for a dime to make a phone call. I have no doubt that He will give it to me because He has already given me so much. Anything I could possibly want is so small compared to His goodness to me so far.

Taking the cancer away is nothing compared to making my heart constantly pump just enough oxygen to my brain for the past 35 years. And He did that without my even asking.

(6) God's love is unconditional. It is not dependent on my actions or my way of life. Like a good parent, He loves me no matter what. Even when I stumble and make some very big mistakes, He still loves me. Even when I completely ignore Him, He still loves me. His love is with me no matter who I am or what I do. Despite all my imperfections, I can feel secure that God is still backing me.

Taking the cancer away is nothing compared to the good God has done for me.

God would like me to be great. His expectations for me are massive – because of what I can accomplish with the soul he has given me. Nevertheless, I could waste it all and he might still make my wife better, just because he loves me.

(7) Like any good parent, God will always give me just what I need. Life will not always be exactly what I want to it be. He might not give me what I think will be good for me. But He will always give me what is really good for me. No matter what I am going through, it is exactly what I need to be going through.

Whatever God might have in store for me, the road this illness is taking us down is a road we need to traverse. And wherever that road might lead, its destination is where we need to be.

For me, this final point creates the greatest sense of trust and security. No matter what I am going through – no matter how 'bad' or painful it may seem, I know that it is for my ultimate good.

Try feeling each of these elements a number of times a day. Don't spend too much time on each one – you may find that frustrating. Taking one minute to focus on these points a few times a day will make a significant impact.

Working on feeling these seven elements has been very powerful for me. It has brought a tremendous sense of security into my life. Spending a few minutes a day is a small price to pay for the dividends that you can reap from developing trust.

Only God knows what will be. But there is one thing I do know. God is giving us, and will give us, just what we need.

This article is featured in Aish.com's book:Heaven on Earth. Buy it now!

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Shaul Rosenblatt grew up in Liverpool. He studied for his smicha at Aish Hatorah in Jerusalem where he met his first wife Elana a"h who passed away in 2001 after a long struggle with cancer. They had four children together and Shaul has a further four with his second wife Chana, who he married in 2003. Shaul is the author of Why Bad Things DON'T Happen to Good People, published by Adir Press, a semi biographical look at one of life's greatest philosophical questions. Shaul founded Aish UK in 1993, Tikun UK in 2006, and Cofounded the Innate Health Centre in 2012. Shaul enjoys almost everything in life.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 79

(78)
David,
April 30, 2014 3:12 PM

Depression

I suffer from depression. I don't feel any love at all. I'm getting on in years and I have very little money. My future is scary. Explain to me where's the love? Where was the love duroing the holocaust?

Marie,
July 5, 2014 11:09 AM

Trust

Hi David! If only I could give you an easy answer, but I can't because our trust in G-d has to grow and develop. It isn't easy to trust G-d when everything is falling round about us and, even harder, to continue to believe in a God that permits us to go through, at times, such agony of heart! But, believe and trust in Him we must. He is genuinely interested in our growth and development to be the person He chose us to be, before the world stepped in and we chose many a wrong path.

David my battery on my Tablet needs recharging! I will come back later and tell you how I have begun to change my mindset and have drawn closer to G-d in the process.

(77)
Sarah Zeldman,
April 24, 2014 7:15 PM

Your 7 Elements Have been on my wall for years

I read this article when it first came out, cut-and-pasted the 7 elements involved in trusting G-d, and printed them out. They have been hanging on my wall ever since. I just looked up and decided to find the article they originally came from. Thank you for the continued inspiration, especially because you gave it in the midst of your pain.

(76)
Lindy,
October 27, 2013 9:42 AM

It is out of our control

12 years ago I lost my husband 2yrs and 10 months ago my son and a year ago my brother. My faith in G D has never waivered nor have I ever questioned but the one thing I have learned we are not in control it is His plan and each souls journey is mapped out and one day I will know the real picture but I am only in control of what I believe and how I conduct my life the rest is out of my control

(75)
Sue,
October 25, 2013 8:13 AM

Thank you so much for this Rabbi. My best and oldest friend has recently been diagnosed with cancer so this article is particularly relevant for me right now. However, your thoughts on Trust are just what I need. Trusting is difficult for me and something that I work on constantly and you have helped me enormously. Thank you.

(74)
Anonymous,
October 25, 2013 12:20 AM

Free Will

I don’t understand why if G-d could instantly remove the cancer cells as mentioned in #3, he would choose not to do the same? I believe in G-d, but if we are to truly accept the notion of free will, then we shouldn’t say that G-d could chooses to cure the cancer in one person and sit by to let another suffer. That, in my opinion, is not fair to G-d.

(73)
Anonymous,
October 24, 2013 6:18 PM

Thank you so much this was great ans so inspirational!

(72)
Suzanne,
October 24, 2013 3:33 AM

Thank you

Just a couple hours ago, I heard that a loved one has cancer. I am crying as I type this. Thank you for sharing your 7 points.

(71)
Anonymous,
October 23, 2013 12:19 PM

Cancer and God

I believe all the seven degrees of belief written in article. I also believe that God is so far above us, that in order to actualize him somewhat, we think of him on the highest intellectual level that we can, and still that does not explain even one iota of his plan. I know of someone who is currently planning her own funeral, as she has been told there is no hope. All that can be done has been done. She is 31 years old,and is an only child. In addition, her father is dying of Parkinsons and is a hospice, because his demise is imminent at well. How the poor wife and mother is coping with this I do not know. I do not understand any of this. If anyone had a zest for life, it was this young woman. I don't know if her father knows or understands how much his daughter's condition has deteriorated. God understands this, I do not. It is easy for me to say "we must accept," but I cannot begin to imagine what the poor mother and wife is going through. Where she should be, and with whom? This is without a doubt an unanswerable question, that I would not even begin to figure out. I too lost a brother over 20 years ago, to a Jewish Genetic disease, another mystery, and so all these and others shall remain just that ; a mystery. Everyone has there own coping mechanism. Maybe someday, at the end of days, we will understand.

(70)
Doron Barsam,
October 22, 2013 10:46 PM

I read this a couple of months ago and it realy helped me through some tough times. I think it's such an inspiring story and hope to add a similar piece relating to my own struggles with Cancer and the after mass.

(69)
Anonymous,
October 22, 2013 10:04 PM

added

Know I saw the dates. My mother dued in the same mont and year august 2001

(68)
Anonymous,
October 22, 2013 9:55 PM

pain

I lost my father 3 weeks because of cancer. He was the most importantIin my life in the last 12 years. I love him, I miss him, I can not understand... I lost my mother for cancer 12 years ago. Cancer was taking the peioles who loved me I loved. I have no brothers. I prayed so much, maybe not the way I should, maybe with clear interest.... I strogly bealive in God but I can not understand. What was in the power of my parrents, incredibly good people, to change something, to not suffer, to not leave me like orphan, even if I am 36. Probably I had sins but I tryed to ask for forgivness. Maybe not strong enough. I play hard, I smile, I wirk but the pain is so deep that I am affraid when will come out. My husband supports me, I di not have brothers.

(67)
Sara,
October 22, 2013 4:47 PM

Beautiful!

I totally agree with the auther! Yes! One has to always believe it is for our good and feel He LOVES us. \It is the only way to really survive one's challegages!

(66)
Kenan Moss,
October 22, 2013 3:47 PM

acceptance

I do not know that God exists. I have never asked him for anything nor have I ever judged him for the terrible things that I have seen in my life. I have COPD and Pulmonary Fibrosis in part for having worked with the rehabilitation squads after the Vargas tragedy in which I lost all my possesions. I am unable to work and have received no indemnity nor any pension. I survive on charity. In a few days I will probably be told that I have terminal cancer. I complain of none of this. This has been my life and I have tried to live it with dignity. Cancer will kill me more quickly and more painlessly than COPD and Fibrosis.

(65)
Anonymous,
October 22, 2013 3:38 PM

I have breast cancer now

I have breast cancer now with lymph nodes involved. My faith is strong. My initial question was whether G-d ws sending me a message. (My grandson gt leukemia a few weeks before, my house flooded the day of my first oncology visit (water softener failure) and I write this from a hotel as we cannot yet return to the house. But I have read Kohellet and Job and these horrible things may not be about me or my failings. As long as G-d isn't angry with me and thus causing these things, I am calmer. It isn't easy and I cry sometimes. But I think Gd will be with me and my family whatever happens.

(64)
Anonymous,
October 28, 2010 3:29 PM

Very touching and inspriring!!!

I too have had two Mastectomy's as a result of breast cancer..I too have told the Lord God..I'm climbing up on your lap so you can just hold me in your arms of LOVE..He alone can give you all the strength you need.Thank-you GOD!!!

(63)
Anonymous,
October 3, 2010 4:50 AM

these 7 things that i tell myself have helped me in ways words cant describe. it brings me from feeling on the verge of tears to a total feeling of comfort. Thank you so much you've really saved me.

(62)
Anonymous,
June 10, 2010 8:14 PM

Further Study in Chovot Helavavot

This is a beautiful and moving article. Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller gives an in depth class on Naaleh.com on the book that Rabbi Rosenblatt talks about, Chovot Halevavot. The class is called Bitachon: The Meaning of Trust. I highly recommend it.

(61)
bygeorge,
June 10, 2010 5:40 PM

I love your web-page, just as much as I love the nation of Israel. I thank God, I came across this web-page. It has given me more insight to the true love of God. I will make a tremendous effort to tell my friends, about this web-page! I love the jewish people, and pray fore the nation of Israel evreyday! Thank you so much, and may the God of Abraham, bless you all and keep you!

(60)
Little Gator,
June 9, 2010 11:53 AM

Perhaps this prayer will be of help to you. I say it rather frequently. It helps me when I am having a difficult time. I also use it as a way to connect and remind myself that G-d is in control of everything. The great to the small. Everything is included.
"Blessed are you dear G-d, King of the Universe.
You know the true name and purpose of everything.
The great to the small.
You care for, love, guide, and know them all.
Blessed are you Dear G-d."

(59)
naomi,
June 7, 2010 8:06 PM

very moving article I an relate to it since my husband died from cancer after only two years of marriage it took me a long time to recover and renew my faith in G-d

(58)
Jules Tabak,
June 7, 2010 3:01 PM

trust in God

What has trust in God do with hard reality. My wife died six years ago. She had cancer but on her death certificate appeared: Contributing to her death was "severe malnutrition". Hospital people and doctors do not concern themselves with other's lives
Jules Tabak
p.s. If a loved one goes into a hospital or nursing home post a guard 24/7 to look out for them

(57)
Anonymous,
June 6, 2010 9:04 PM

This is just what I needed right now

My mother has cancer in her lungs, liver, and other areas. She was last week told she has months to live. My connectiong to Hashem is tenuous. I feel like I am groping in the dark. I hope to read some of the points from this article every morning so I mean what I say when I daven. Thank you for writing. It was Heaven sent!

(56)
,
June 6, 2010 7:30 PM

Life throws us many unpleasant challenges, and if we are to surrive and function at our best, we must learn to deal with them.. A strong belief in God is important for many people, in order to cotinue to function. If that works for you, than that is what you need.
Rabbi Rosenblatt,believes that all that happens to him is meant to happen, because God deams it best for him. What about his first wife? Did God belief it was best for her to die from cancer, and make four children motherless? Was this also God's plan for the children? I enjoy reading the stories at Aish, even though I don't agree with many of them.
My favorite parts of Aish are the videos of Lori and the Rabbi, whose name I can't recall at the minute.
Carol

A friend of mine was just diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and I could relate even if this were not so, because life is a "mine field", life is, a minefield. There are geodes and there are also apparent terrible events in life, that can take away, our belief in God, or solidify a belief "there is no God".
When I began to tell people I am experiencing massive astonishment of connects by way of story, people could not "go there". Why? Because it inevitably leads one to the same wall, encountered in this moving piece that is about love, Divine Love, and trust in a master plan, in the face of so much that is sorrowful, about life and love itself.
I go to the Wailing Wall daily, because I KNOW and it's on record: my life is NOT random. These connects falling like rain on my head, that I have recorded for over eleven years consequent to a Vow, I could prove, on paper, the existence of God, has taken me to Jerusalem daily, to the Wailing Wall.
So yes, I do trust in God. I KNOW there is a God, and I also have the evidence for this, on paper, by way of a life.
We do not see the entire picture, but I am saying I do think we will, and there is another story running, a river runs through Eden, and we are all of us, every single one of us, beloved, and not forsaken for the sake of this story.
I more than believe. I KNOW.
This does not mitigate the terrible sadness of losing someone so beloved in ones' life. May her memory be blessed as she is, and was, always, blessed.
in truth/ruth

(53)
Anonymous,
October 30, 2001 12:00 AM

Inspiring and wanting to believe more today than before.

I am going through hard times myself and reading your article, make me feel wonderful, not so for your wife but how great it is to believe this way. I am going to do my best to believe this way. God bless your family.

(52)
Anonymous,
October 6, 2001 12:00 AM

Thanks for a beautiful message.

Very meaningful and inspiring message.

(51)
Anonymous,
October 3, 2001 12:00 AM

Thank you G-d

I thank G-d every day for many things and I thank G-d for bringing you and your wife into this world. I am deeply sorry.
I feel uplifted and I am also thankful to G-d for showing me that your faith has already made a great difference in many peoples lifes. (It a blessing to read the comments how your faith has uplifted many). Thank you for your effort.

(50)
Anonymous,
September 6, 2001 12:00 AM

What a wonderful article!

First of all, my heartfelt sympathy to Rabbi Shaul Rosenblatt. How tremendous your loss, how great was the gain you and your wife received by trusting in the ALMIGHTY. HE never fails! My wife has incurable (in human terms) ovarian cancer. We too have decided to trust God and the peace and closeness we have gained is far beyond our understanding. You have expressed in words what we know in our heart. Thank you.

(49)
Anonymous,
September 4, 2001 12:00 AM

Such a beautiful article...

The depth of Rabbi Rosenblatts's faith is truly inspiring. I will remember this article whenever I feel my own faith faltering.

I pray that G-d will bless him and his family and comfort them in their time of sorrow. From previous comments I've read, it appears that Elena has left her mark on the world and on the hearts and minds of others. She must have been a wonderful teacher, and her lessons will surely live forever and, therefore, so will she.

(48)
Marsha Myerowitz,
September 3, 2001 12:00 AM

This was so moving and beautiful, and I am going to print it out so I can read parts of it again and do some of the same things. But I don't understand how a person can believe that God can take away the cancer, and that nothing happens independently of God, and then when the cancer doesn't go away, how do you go on believing so fully and trusting so fully? I mean, I do trust and believe and love God, but there has to be a reason why he doesn't take the cancers away. I believe everything happens for a reason, and God knows the reasons, but I don't understand why sometimes people get better and some don't. I think sometimes it's a punishment, and I don't feel angry at God, because we can't know why he does (or lets happen) the things that happen. When I broke my leg very badly, I felt it was punishment. I wasn't angry at God, I was angry at myself. But to say what you did, and then to accept it, that must have been at least a little hard, wasn't it? At least, for a time? When my mother died of cancer 17 years ago, I was crushed. I couldn't understand why. I didn't stop believing in God, though, and I know now that we can't expect to understand everything that happens. It has to be accepted. My faith is stronger than ever now, but still sometimes, I have to ask why. I wish you peace.

(47)
Walter Sanchez,
August 25, 2001 12:00 AM

True Trust

Rabbi, my sincerest condolences. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life, even for a brief moment, in a time of true difficulty. Even though I am not Jewish, I share the same quest, to passionately trust in God. I found your statements to be an inspiration and an encouragement as I purpose towards a stronger life style of trust. It is a comfort to know that my life is in the care of a loving Father, and all that will be, will be for my benifit. I will take your words and share them with others, so that they may also trust!
Thank you

(46)
BEN BLUFARB,
August 24, 2001 12:00 AM

Moving, yet painful to read

It is hard to accept the notion that G-d is a partner in cancer, perhaps the concept is that when the soul has finished its role in this life its time to move on, but the method of departure is most painful...

(45)
Gershon Lesser, md,
August 23, 2001 12:00 AM

a remarkable statement of Torah

I have read this writing several times.It is printed off for me to give to others. I am overwhelming saddened today to see the loss of Rabbi's sweet wife. I am deeply moved at his trust and faith in the goodness of things which happen as they must. That he finds solace, or a presence in the final decision of Hashem and can make himself peaceful he is on a mission. I have lost my 20 year old son yet in reading this man's words, I have come to understand so very much more. The tears of Hashem must be on this authors' pillow along with his, along with mine. Yet in that trust that what occurs for it is must occur I can celebrate this man's strength and perhaps take some of his for myself. Perhaps that is his mission. And the lesson his dear wife is teaching us all.
Thank you.

(44)
elida kirshner,
August 21, 2001 12:00 AM

I'm crying

my mother passed away almost a year now,just before rosh hashana.we did everything and more till the last minute.it's still very painful but today I'm greatfull to G'D he took her then.since she left many bad things happened to me and I'm relaxed she is not here to see it.I feel her around me to keep me going,I'm getting her positive energies and even I'm not religious I believe more then ever that GOD is here with me.deep in my hart is the only strength I can get and I wish to solve all my problems soon for the good for me and my kids.thanks,the article - it touched me deeply.I know what he means.shalom.elida

(43)
alison frutkin,
August 20, 2001 12:00 AM

My deepest condolences. You will be ok.

God does have a plan. We don't know what it is, and down here, we shall never know. But your wife is being taken care of by God and his angels, and he must need her far more than this world. My sympathy and love and prayers that you shall recover, yet always with the deepest love for your wife, which is a gift from God. There is nothing more to say than I am sorry, may you find contentment in the fact that there is no more suffering, except your own. And God will carry you now, in the times that it is most difficult to carry on.

(42)
Anonymous,
August 19, 2001 12:00 AM

The Confort in Trust

I don't know you nor your family, but I am so touched by your faith and trust in God. I offer my condolences to you and your family. It seems just by reading the comments of the others who knew Elana, she was a precious pearl. As we live in this world, no one knows the challenges that we may face. But your article is truly inspiring for all who may find themselves in the same or similiar situation. May the Almighty keep you and your family.

(41)
Anonymous,
August 17, 2001 12:00 AM

This website is deeply appreciated

How does one express appreciation to another, so that the other really feels it? I'm not certain, but I would like to say thank-you! The short pieces on this site are truly both soothing and inspiring.

May the same peace find its way back to all involved with the production and upkeep of this website.

Bryan

(40)
Anonymous,
August 13, 2001 12:00 AM

admiration

Dear Rabbi Rosenblatt & family,
May I express my condolences to you on the loss of your beloved Elana Golda bas Yisroel Mordechai. I am a colleague of Elana's mother at Bruriah H.S., and cannot begin to express my awe and admiration for her, and for all of Elana's family. Your bitachon, pure trust in God, is the lesson we should all learn in tribute to Elana. In her merit, I will endeavor to internalize your message daily. May the Almighty comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Yerushalayim.

(39)
Leah Lowy,
August 12, 2001 12:00 AM

I will always love Elana

Every word you said at her eulogies was true. She could never say a bad word, think a bad thought and ALWAYS had a warm smile for everyone.

I cannot believe that when I went to visit her in England, all and I mean ALL she was doing was telling me how perfect Hashem is, how much He loves her, and how He is so so kind as she does not feel any pain. I think her body was on the ground but her mind was in the heavens. There are few people that are so filled with Emes (truth), especially when faced with such a huge challenge, that please G-d none of us will ever face.

Shaul both you and Elana have affected my life so much and you are both such role models for me. Your children -Akiva, Shifra, Elcanan and Sara, may Hashem bless His precious orphans, will live their life exactly as their dear mother Ruchama Elana Golda bas Yisrael Mordechai entrusted them to. Her influence on them, on me, and everyone she came into contact with, was so strong, and filled with such purity.

May Hashem comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Yerushalyim

(38)
Anonymous,
August 12, 2001 12:00 AM

Inspiring words. Thank you

It is with a great feeling of sadness that I read about the passing of your dear wife on this website. As a high school teacher my students and I prayed for the recovery of your wife these past months. The article you have written is a shining lesson in Bitachon and serves as an inspiration to all of K'lall Yisroel in these times of challenge. I wish to convey my sincere condolences to you in your grief, and hope that you may take comfort in the fact that your wife will no longer know any pain at all. May her Neshomo be a Meilitz Yosher for all of Am Yisrael in this difficult period and for you and your family in the time you have ahead of you.
May you be comforted amongst the Mourners of Tzion and Yerusahalyim.

(37)
BARBARA GOLDIN,
August 11, 2001 12:00 AM

A Lot of Light in Darkness

Dear Rabbi Rosenblatt and His Family,

When going through tough times, we often hear people telling us, there is " light at the end of the tunnel". After absorbing every word of your article, it seems to me, that you have found a lot of light in darkness. There is also a lot of light to be found in light, and you have included examples of that as well the light in darkness-it is found in both.

I don't know who you are-never met you, or your lovely wife, but I feel as well as think I have. My condoloences to you and your family; and my thanks to you and your family for showing us all the ways of Hashem and the ways He wishes us to emulate one to another, everywhere and anywhere.

(36)
Binyomin Jacobs,
August 10, 2001 12:00 AM

The neshamah should have an aliyah

The words that were spoken / written were very powerful ones indeed. I couldn't help being effected by what he was saying to me (as well as everyone else)

Please pass on my sympathies to the author and May the soul of Elana Golda bas Yisroel Mordechai, be elevated from the strength and encouragement that is gained from this.

(35)
Anonymous,
August 10, 2001 12:00 AM

Thank you for the beautiful article which gave me a lot of encouragement andf strength. May H-shem comfort you among the mourners of Zion. May the article be a merit for your wife's soul.

(34)
Jessica Mazaltov Weisfogel,
August 10, 2001 12:00 AM

Thank you SO much for sharing what is clearly a heartbreaking experience.
You must take comfort in the fact that your wife A'H affected SO many people's lives for the better and that hundreds (if not thousands) have felt like they desperately have wanted to do their "bit" for her recovery.

I lost my father A'H a year ago (to cancer too) and I remember praying at the time for a miracle. One day it came to me : Hashem had already more of a miracle than I ever deserved by giving him to me in the first place. He was an exceptional father to my sisters and me, husband to my mum and person to every single person he came into contact with. Was that not a miracle already? What did I ever do to deserve that????

May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Yerushalayim and please take comfort in the blessing Hashem has given you (through your wife A'H) in your children (beli ayin hara).

Jessica Mazaltov Weisfogel.

(33)
Darcie Richman,
August 10, 2001 12:00 AM

To Shaul, Akiva, Shifra, Elcannah, and Sarah.

I am deeply upset at the passing on of your beloved wife and mother. I wish you all long life, my thoughts are with you at this very sad time.
Elana has a special place in my heart. 2 years ago when I was so very ill having suffered a stroke, Elana came to visit me and gave me a gift that I will always value. Elana encouraged and showed me how to beleive and trust in G-d. She gave me the courage and faith to believe in myself. This gave me the motivation and encouragement to recover. Today I am 99% recovered, pregnant, and due to deliver my first child in 6 weeks time. I believe it was Elana's "gift" that started me on my way.
Elana touched so many people in her shortened life. Even in her darkest moments she gave to others. May her memory live on.
Once again to Shaul and her family, I wish you long life.

Darcie Richman, London.

(32)
Anonymous,
August 9, 2001 12:00 AM

My sincere condolences on your tragic loss. I just read this great quote from Mother Theresa, "I know God would not give anything I cannot handle, but He does not always have to have so much faith in me".

(31)
Tamara Gilden,
August 9, 2001 12:00 AM

light in darkness

Thank you for your heartfelt insight. we are going through our own health crises. My husband Yehuda is ill with Parkinson's. Your insightful comments and clear illucidation of these pasukim has been a source of strength to me> I will show them to Yehuda.

His name is Yehuda Reuven Ben Sorah

thank you,

Tamara Gilden

(30)
Susan Kortick,
August 9, 2001 12:00 AM

Amazing and perfect.

Trust in Hashem is so needed and so elusive for most of us. Rabbi Rosenblatt offers a practical process in a way that is infinitely useable. His vulnerability and honesty in sharing this experience with us is precious and deeply moving. Thank you for posting this valuable article and thank you to Rabbi Rosenblatt for sharing and for using his personal pain to help Klal Yisrael. Rabbi, may you be comforted among the mourners of Tzion and Yerushalayim.

(29)
Anonymous,
August 8, 2001 12:00 AM

With deep sadness

It is with deep sadness that I inform you that Elana has died. Rabbi Rosenblatt's faith should serve as an example to carry us all through, in good times and in difficult times. May the Rabbi and his children be comforted with the Mourners of Zion.

Thank you Rabbi Rosenblatt for bringing inspiration into my day! I totally connected with your article on trusting Hashem and along with everyone else in NW London pray that He decides to take your beautiful wife's cancer away. I had the priviledge of meeting her once or twice and it immediately became apparent how special her neshama is. May Hashem also give you strength in this testing time.
Best Wishes
Laura Klein

(25)
,
August 8, 2001 12:00 AM

Thank You G--d for Being an Active G--d

Shalom!

Thank you, Rabbi for sharing part of your life. I will pray for you and your wife. I will also add your experiences to my learnings from life.

My uncle had multiple strokes on the operating table during back surgery. 80% of his heart failed. I remember my mother sitting on the edge of his bed telling him and his doctors that it wasn't his time. G--d really loves my mom because he heard her and my uncle is alive today with 20% of his heart functioning, the doctors called that a miracle. He leads a normal but quiet life.
I learned that G--d controls all actions. G--d loves us. G--d controled my uncle's collapse and his recovery.
I really learned what it was to love G--d Rabbi, because G--d loves my mom.
I've learned trust through experience and example. I learned the feeling part from my parents.

Baruch HaShem,
Daniel Yosaf

(24)
Sara Berzansky,
August 7, 2001 12:00 AM

Amazing

Inspiring, insightful...I can't articulate the proper words because I feel I'm on such a comparatively low level!

(23)
Anonymous,
August 7, 2001 12:00 AM

Thankyou

Thankyou for your insightful discussion. I pray for your wife. I too was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago.

(22)
Simon Holloway,
August 7, 2001 12:00 AM

Beautiful and inspiring

Your article was both heart-felt and amazing. I derive such inspiration from your continued faith and I will pray for the health of your wife. Thankyou so much for having written something that has touched me so deeply.

(21)
Anonymous,
August 7, 2001 12:00 AM

deeply, deeply moving and inspiring

although I am not going through such testing times as yours, your words nevertheless helped me understand the process that I am also growing through. thank you so, so much from sharing from the heart what G-d has already given you in this difficult trial for you and your family. My prayers are with all of you.

(20)
Jeannine Bennington,
August 7, 2001 12:00 AM

Yes, trust and confidence are emotions that heal.

I, too, am living in trust. Dr's say lung and kidney cancer, yet my heart tells me that God has not issued a death sentence,and so, I am still alive after two years of chemo and radiation. I have found it easier to trust God that to trust doctors, and so I live on until my wholeness comes. I shall incude your wife along side myself in prayer.O shall also include you, my brother, for strength to continue in the walk you are in, for God loves you, too.

(19)
Sergio Camacho,
August 6, 2001 12:00 AM

Very Uplifting.

Even though I am not a Jew, I have found inspiration and complete assurance in the words of Rabbi Rosenblatt and many others. I will make it a priority to keep your wife's recovery in my prayers. May our common Creator give you strength to go through what you are going through now. Thank you very much for such wonderful words.

(18)
Robin Brown,
August 6, 2001 12:00 AM

Rabbi,
With G-d's help, may your wife recover soon. I found this article helpful as I just lost a dear friend to cancer and I needed to find a way to put myself back in G-d's hands...

(17)
,
August 6, 2001 12:00 AM

Everyone tells me I am strong. I have two adult children. One has lost her body and the other has lost his mind. My husband is ailing and I have a terminal illness. What is G-d telling me? I cry and am sad and then I feel that this experience of life is a gift and must cherish it and my wonderful beloved family. I go to Shul and find comfort in the ancient and ageless prayers. There is a reason for our suffering and I believe it gives us a special caring for all people. I pray your beloved wife will be well and that both your suffering will be gone.

(16)
noel fitzpatrick,
August 6, 2001 12:00 AM

Best wishes

Dear Rabbi Rosenblatt

thank you for your inspiring words. I found them encouraging in many ways.

I am thinking of going to Jerusalem in the autumn on a short sabbatical. I have been looking for sites to reassure me in my decision.

Can I presume that your article is an encouragement for me to go?

I wish you and your wife great peace and happiness.

(15)
Helen Giovanello,
August 6, 2001 12:00 AM

The man I love and planned to marrie has lynphoma cancer and in the past month has visibly worsen at a point that the end seems getting closer. I am the one who is taking care of him and some time the feeling of despair is overwhelming. This morning after crying and praying, I went to check my e-mail looking for support And God had this article waiting for me.

(14)
Jeffrey Prince,
August 6, 2001 12:00 AM

Thank you for your very fine article, which has helped to give us all extra strength and guidance.

(13)
Anonymous,
August 6, 2001 12:00 AM

beautifully moving and instructive

You put a difficult subject in a way that is quite easy to grasp (if not to implement). Thank you for the good instruction, which I shall try to put to use. And a refuah sh'leimah to your wife.

(12)
,
August 6, 2001 12:00 AM

As one of Shaul's roomates while in jerusalem, this helps remind me of how life moves so fast and our destiny in in G-d's hands. We are the pawns of G-d's desires. This article is very helpful when G-d takes one on a detour to testing the faith. Keep up the good work Shaul.

(11)
Anonymous,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

You - and in particular your wife - inspire me every day

Your bitachon - and the bitachon of your whole family - is giving strength to the whole community. We are all growing from you. I am humbled by you. Your words have given me further strength. When my four year old son remarked that his friend's mother was ill, that's why she's in a wheelchair, he did not know that that is who we are all saying tehillim for every day. But we all are davenning for Ruchama Ilana Golda bas Channa, and pray for a refua shleima, bimheira. May Hashem give you all the strength that you need. You have both given so much to everyone who is listening. Your article here, continues in that tradition.

(10)
tuvia papania,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

May hashem, heal rebbetzin Rosenblatt, speedily, by encapsulation of all cancer cells , and my spontanious remission of the cancer occur, so all jews on this web site call, speak of your miracle, and miracles, a congregant of Chabad of Southern Nevada,

(9)
Anonymous,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

Powerful message

Thank you for your powerful message. I need to internalize it.

Perhaps, your special task of delivering this message to world Jewry is extremely significant, such that it has to take this special route, though unpleasant to accomplish it.

Gam zu le tovah -- this too is for the good. May Hashem grant you and your family, especially the Rebbetzin much koach/strength to overcome this challenge, and a speedy and complete Refuah Shelaimah. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Thank you!!

(8)
Chana,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

thank you

Thank you for sharing your words, your experience with us.

(7)
Anonymous,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

Thank you and may Hashem give your wife a complete cure.

My wife has lung cancer and this article obviously hits home. May Hashem's will be to cure both our wives of this disease.

(6)
Ann Shaftel,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

This trust has helped me, too.

Thank you, Rabbi Rosenblatt, for sharing your story. I lost my darling husband to cancer last month, and despite moments when I didn't feel so sure, my absolute trust in God was an enormous help in getting through the months of his illness. As the end came closer, I wondered how even God could love him more than I do. Then the answer came--as husbands and wives, as human beings, we have certain expectations of each other. God has no such expectations. My husband does not need to make God laugh at unexpected moments, or encourage God when God is feeling down, or buy God presents for no reason to have God's love. My daughter and I were both with my husband when the end came, and I hope he went from love to love. I trust that, for whatever reason, my husband's soul needs to continue its journey on the other side, and I must continue mine, for however long that may be, separate from him--though he will always be with me in my heart.

Baruch HaShem.

Ann Shaftel

(5)
Anonymous,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

I can empathize

I also went throught this same thing when my husband ah'l was sick. You were able to put how things went for me into words. I just did them and came away with the same ending. Thank you for putting this into words.

(4)
Noah Sande,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

Very important words.

You are an inspiration to me, and no doubt to all who read this article.
May we all learn how to find G-d in all the dark moments in our life.
May G-d heal your wife of her illness and grant your whole family strength.

(3)
Sara Rigler,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

Utterly wonderful article

Thank you, Rabbi Rosenblatt, for giving us a concrete step-by-step path for developing bitachon, which we Jews here in Israel so badly need during the current war. In fact, is there a Jew anywhere in the world who will not benefit from what you have written? I don't think so. May your wife Ruchama Elana Golda bat Hanna be blessed with a refua shleima. I pray for her almost every day.

(2)
Claire Weaver,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

Very Inspirational and Humbling

During all this Shaul helped me to find my faith, he gave time and advice and never once said what he was going through and this article is inspirational beyond words. I think of you both every day and pray for you

(1)
Cynthia Otazu,
August 5, 2001 12:00 AM

Thank you for sharing

May G-d soon heal your wife and let this just serve as your referral lesson for those others whom you will later touch their life.
Shavua tov, this week and ALL the others to follow.

I want to know about the concept of "sin" due to Adam and Eve eating from the Tree of Knowledge. The Christian concept of sin revolves around the fall of the man and the "original sin." Does Judaism view it the same way?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Adam and Eve were punished according to their actions. In other words, God laid down the conditions for Adam and Eve to live in the garden, provided they would not eat from the Tree of Knowledge. However, if they were to eat from that tree they would be punished by experiencing death. (If they had not eaten from the tree, they would have remained immortal.)

This sets down the basic principle in Judaism of Reward and Punishment. Basic to this is that every person has the choice of doing good or bad. When a person chooses "good" – as defined by God – he is able to draw close to God. In other words, every individual has a chance to "gain salvation" through his own actions.

My understanding of Christianity, however, is that the Original Sin has infected all of mankind to the point where individuals are incapable of achieving salvation through their own initiative. Man is "totally depraved" and therefore his only hope of salvation is through the cross.

This belief is contrary to the teachings of Judaism. From the Torah perspective, an individual does not need to rely on anyone else to atone for them. In Judaism, sins can be "erased" altogether by sincere repentance and a firm resolution never to repeat the mistakes.

For more on this, read "Their Hollow Inheritances" by Michael Drazin – www.drazin.com

Yahrtzeit of Moses in 1273 BCE (Jewish year 2488), on the same day of his birth 120 years earlier. (Consequently, "May you live to 120" has become a common Jewish blessing.) Moses was born in Egypt at a time when Pharaoh had decreed that all Jewish baby boys be drowned in the Nile River. His mother set him afloat in a reed basket, where he was -- most ironically -- discovered by Pharaoh's daughter and brought to Pharaoh's palace to be raised. When Moses matured, his heart turned to aid the Jewish people; he killed an Egyptian who was beating a Jew, and he fled to Midian where he married and had two sons. God spoke to Moses at the Burning Bush, instructing him to return to Egypt and persuade Pharaoh to "let My people go." Moses led the Jews through the ten plagues, the Exodus, and the splitting of the Red Sea. Seven weeks later, the Jews arrived at Mount Sinai and received the Torah, the only time in human history that an entire nation experienced Divine revelation. Over the next 40 years, Moses led the Jews through wanderings in the desert, and supervised construction of the Tabernacle. Moses died before being allowed to enter the promised Land of Israel. He is regarded as the greatest prophet of all time.

Lack of gratitude is at the root of discontent. In order to be consistently serene, we must master the attribute of being grateful to the Creator for all His gifts. As the Torah (Deuteronomy 26:11) states, "Rejoice with all the good the Almighty has given you." This does not negate our wanting more. But it does mean that we have a constant feeling of gratitude since as long as we are alive, we always have a list of things for which to be grateful.

[Just before Moses' death] God said to him, "This is the Land that I promised to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob" (Deuteronomy 34:4).

The Midrash says that Moses pleaded to live long enough to be able to enter the Promised Land. He surrendered his soul only after God instructed him to enter Heaven and inform the Patriarchs that the Israelites had come to their Land and that God had indeed fulfilled His promise to give the Land of Israel to their descendants. To fulfill God's will was dearer to Moses than his craving to enter the Land.

It is only natural to cling to life, and the thought of leaving this world is depressing. However, if a person develops the attitude that he lives only in order to fulfill God's will, then life and death are no longer polar opposites, because he lives to do the will of God, and when that will requires that he leave this world, he will be equally obedient.

The seventh day of Adar is the anniversary of Moses' death. He wanted to enter the Promised Land so that he could fulfill the commandments and thereby have a new opportunity to fulfill the Divine wish. He surrendered his soul willingly when he was told that there was a special commandment for him to perform, one that could only be achieved after leaving this earth.

We refer to Moses as Rabbeinu, our teacher. He not only taught us didactically, but by means of everything he did in his life - and by his death, as well.

Today I shall...

try to dedicate my life to fulfilling the will of God, so that even when that will contradicts my personal desires, I can accept it with serenity.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...