Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of.

This Conversation Just Happened

Me: “I’m going to put oil on the hinges of your door so it doesn’t squeak so loud anymore.”

Phaedra: “Maybe you should put some on the poop that Bella rubbed on the back of my door.”

Me: “What?” (looks at the back of the bedroom door for the first time in quite a while; realizes why the room has stunk like poop for awhile) “Why didn’t you tell me there was poop on the back of your door?”

Phaedra: “I’ve been TRYING to tell you that all day!”

Me: “Nope. No way. I would NOT blow off something like poop on your bedroom door. Also, I’ve been gone all day, and just finished driving you around for Halloween, so no. You haven’t been trying to tell me all day.”

I continue to put oil on the hinges and opening and shutting the door.

Phaedra: “It’s not working.”

Me: “It will. It just needs to work itself into the hinge.”

Phaedra: “Maybe you should put some oil on the poop.”

Me: “That’s not going to help.”

Phaedra: “It might.”

Me: “I’m not putting oil on the poop.”

Phaedra: “I’m just saying it might help.”

You know what else might have helped, kid? Being put in the know about the poop on the back of your door before it turned into fossilized turd.