If Santa approved of beard ornaments I think he would have invented Beardaments - or at least worn some - himself. Unless he's just leaving Beardaments to those they can really benefit. To all the lumberjacks and hipsters out there who need a little Santa Claus charisma. A little something extra to help them stand out around the ladies, amongst their families filled with Golden Boy older brothers, and amidst the sea of ugly Christmas sweaters at holiday parties. Simply having a big, bushy Santa beard just isn't enough anymore.

Beardaments attach to beards of most length, plus mustaches, hair, and pet fur, with built-in mini clips that are hopefully easier to manage than the mangled nest of wire hooks my fiancee dumped on our coffee table when we put up the tree last weekend. They say the little balls themselves are lightweight and won't irritate facial hair, but I doubt there's any way in follicular hell you could wear a set and not feel them pulling and bouncing around all night. The price of beauty, though, it is steep.

Beardaments come in packs of 12 and include gold, green, red, and silver colors.

You can go all out Clark Griswold and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation on your holiday decorating this year without risking falling off the roof or running up a thousand-dollar electrical bill. Just make yourself...

I've dispatched the gifts I need to wrap, and am on to the stuff I need to stuff. Stockings were always my favorite part of Christmas as a kid. They'd been hanging on the mantel all flat and limp for weeks and then, suddenly...

Hairy Christmas, dudes! Wear this Sexy Chest Christmas Sweatshirt to your holiday party and watch Mrs. Claus become Mrs. Can't Keep Her Claus Off You. You'll not only put all the other Ugly Christmas Sweaters to shame...

Thousands of decorative lights from the palm of my hand to the branches of my trees, or spans of my walls in minutes. Minutes. Without the hassle of knotted wires. Without the danger of ladders. Without the frustration...

Men, are you tired of spending precious minutes in the morning grooming and edging your perfect specimen of manliness (well, the one on your face anyway) only to end up looking like your 6-year-old shaved you after you...

The Christmas Story Village collection shrinks snapshots of the highs and lows of Ralphie Parker and his family's life so that this holiday season, you can bring them a little closer to your own. From Ralphie's bunny...

"Honest Amish?" Isn't that redundant? And clearly, the Amish grow some of the finest beards in the world and across time. So stamping a tin "Honest Amish Beard Balm" is marketing genius. The name sells itself...

Remember Feisty Pets? The sweet-to-snarling stuffed animals are celebrating the holiday season with a Feisty Santa Bear, the ultimate cuddly teddy who can turn vicious grizzly in the blink of an eye. Or, more accurately...

While I appreciate the idea of this Dude Abides Ugly Christmas Sweater, I think it missed its chance of truly abiding by not making the background a Persian rug motif. Bowling balls and pins are nice and Lebowski affiliated...

If your wife won't let you Clark Griswald it up with a 20' Christmas tree in the house, take your desire to overdo it exuberant holiday spirit on the road with a Christmas Car Tree. The rooftop tannenbaum gives your car...

These Deadpool Christmas tree ornaments will look right at home dangling alongside the Bob Ross Funko Pop figure classing up my mantle. 'Tis the season for happy little trees and Deadpool 2 trailers...