Has Any Company Ever Gotten Their Asses Kicked by the Internet More That Cubby Tees And Their Chicago Stronger Tshirts Did Today?

“Following the tragedy of the Boston Marathon bombing, the nation rallied around Beantown and its “Boston Strong” motto, which has since been appropriated by its sports teams. We love Boston and support/admire its people, but don’t believe that the homicidal lunacy of two disturbed locals has rendered its teams invincible. This is about hockey, this is about O-6 pride, this is about the Cup. “Chicago is the City of Broad Shoulders – our town burned down, our winters are legendary, our Cubs have floundered for a century, yet we endure. Other cities may be strong, we’re stronger. The Bruins are strong, our Blackhawks are stronger.”

So I was in court all day suing some scumbags who owe us a shit ton of money. Just doing the damn mogul thing that people don’t see everyday. Well I just got home and noticed that somehow the saga of Cubbie Tees and their Chicago Stronger shirts haven’t been blogged on Boston yet. How is that even possible? It was the #1 bloggable story on the internet today. It’s shit like this that makes me think I need an open casting call for Boston writers and I need one yesterday. Anyway I just had to chime in real quick on this pseudo apology that Cubbies Tees wrote after caving to the Internet and pulling the shirts.

Here is the Public Apology After getting their assholes torn apart by social media.

“Had our initial message pierced the knee-jerk reaction and gotten through to more online folk, they might have recognized the design’s satirical nature that targeted the tasteless exploiters in Boston’s midst rather than any innocent victims. Though we: (a) are loathe to take any action that appears to bow to bullying, and; (b) had hoped that residents of the “Cradle Of Liberty” held a greater appreciation for the freedom of expression (we support you venting your opinions, not so much your threats and insistence on censorship)…we’ve nevertheless pulled the shirt in the interest of harmony between two great cities.

“We post this for posterity: judging by the tone/ignorance/froth/grammar contained in most of the notes received, we realize that a majority of the correspondents lack an open mind, earnest desire for discourse or an ability to comprehend complex concepts like parody…let alone polysyllabic words (though some sent thoughtful, well-reasoned messages which we appreciated).

“Anyone who believes that the shirt mocked those injured in the horrible events of Patriots’ Day regrettably missed our point and did not read/process our accompanying commentary; nowhere on the shirt’s face (or within its subtext or motivation) did we take aim at the victims or make light of the incident — nor would we ever. The design poked fun at the embarrassing self-congratulatory branding of the tragedy, and its inappropriate adoption by SOME BOSTON FANS AS A MINIMIZING SPORTS ANTHEM, not the sad reality of that day’s mayhem.”

Is that not the most ridiculous apology in the history of apologies? Them claiming that the only reason they were selling Chicago Stronger tee shirts was to make fun of tasteless tshirt exploiters? Basically they had no choice but to exploit the phrase “Boston Strong” to teach everybody how wrong it is. Well played Cubbie Tees. Well played. Seriously I haven’t seen this type of mental warfare since the opposing lawyer wrapped Sales Guy in a mental pretzel today and had him begging for mercy during the cross examination. In closing Fuck Chicago.