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Now That He's Screwed Us For the 58th Time...

Welcome to Hope n' Change 2.0!

In the face of a collapsing economy, rampant unemployment, and global instability, Barack Hussein Obama took office in 2008 promising Hope and Change. The "Hope" thing didn't really work out, but we got plenty of "Change" as everything got worse. And now, the jug-eared jackass has a second term.

That's why at Hope n' Change Cartoons, we're creating conservative smartaleckry to provide a little laughter in these strange times. Cartoons will probably be posted Monday and Wednesday, and definitely on Friday. Additionally, cartoons and graphics will be posted randomly on our Facebook page and Friday we'll add the week's postings right here to kick around in one of the greatest comments sections on the Web.Note: please feel free to repost our cartoons on your favorite blogs!

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Monday, October 10, 2011

As we begin a new week, Marxist protestors parroting the president's class warfare rhetoric choke city streets, Harry Reed and the democrats won't touch Barack Obama's tax-raising jobs bill, employment numbers suck, and our national morale is in the dumper. So who will pull us out of our malaise and get us on our feet again?

So how many does she have to do? One thousand? Ten thousand? A million? A trillion?! Well, uh, no...she only intends to jump for one minute. But if 20,000 other people somewhere in the world decide to do a minute of jumping jacks sometime during the same 24 hour period, she figures she'll have the record.

In fairness, if she can get 20,000 people to follow her for an entire minute, she will have demonstrated greater leadership than her husband has exhibited since being elected. And her "World Record" will actually be for doing something, instead of getting a Nobel Prize for the possibility that she might do something someday.

The point of all this is for Michelle to show the American people that exercise is good! Especially if you have lots of other people doing it for you.

Which, when you think about it, is the same idea her husband is preaching about earning a living.

26 comments:

Jazz
said...

Off the topic of Michele O, and onto the topic of the protestors....

I was struck earlier today (Sunday), while reading another article about the Wall Street and Washington gangs of "protestors", just how similar to those who protested the Tsar in St. Petersburg they are. The difference seems to be that in Russia, they were hungry, poor, illiterates who were promised a meal if only they'd carry a sign from Point A to Point B, ... while ours seem to be over-educated, overly-indulged dupes, who still don't understand what it is that they are "protesting" against -- or for.

In the mean time, I shall take care to jump no jacks until at least Wednesday.+

If Chewbacca and 20,000 of her Oprah-worshiping followers all jump up and down at the same time it might trigger another eruption along the San Andreas Fault. - California could slide into the ocean! ...Go, Michelle!

Unlike the Nobel Committee and the American media, the Guiness record judges don't award world records based on the intentions of the participants. They are a bit more conservative in that they want to see proof. Damned Tea Party terrorists. Sadly, there are no doubt 20,000+ who will do the First Wookie's bidding just because. And there are probably twice that number who would swear to having witnessed the feat even if they didn't. We call them Democrat vote counters.

If you haven't already, go and see the video here: #OccupyAtlanta "Democratic Process" at work We've nothing to worry about from these particular twits. At least not until they grow up, but then, many regain sanity in that state...

(BTW: As I think about all the First Ladies in recent history, their composure, their presence and compare these to the causes they supported; comparing that analysis here, I find it only fitting that this one is after a Guinness world record for poorly executed jumping jacks...)

Um, from I can tell from all the gyms in my town, and the sports teams, and weight-loss centers, at least 20,000 people a day do a minute of jumping jacks in my town every single day of the week. What the hell does she think she's doing? And I thought the kids were supposed to read? How can one read when doing jumping jacks? Or plant a yam farm for that matter.

And just how will they verify that 20,000 people have done this? If there's any kind of an award, it would be politically motivated. The Guiness people have historically been big on proof - even film/video footage didn't count, if there wasn't a Guiness rep on site.

@Jazz- Our protestors have been given everything, which is why they're stunned at growing up and not being given a job and a comfortable income. They may think they're against capitalism (and it's what they're being told), but they're actually against earning.

@Anonymous (ten above)- I like your "glass half full" attitude!

@Angry Hoosier Dad- I believe that Guinness will get the necessary proof by reading the Richter scale measurements.

@Earl- But P.E. classes are so unenlightened. Not like the smart, progressive jumping jacks the first lady will be doing.

@Emmentaler- That IS a jaw-dropping video. I'd love to see these nimrods use their egalitarian, "repeat what I say," "wiggle your fingers in the air" system to try to order lunch for the crowd. They'd all starve to death. Pity.

@Anonymous (four above)- Thank you for the correction. We certainly don't want to offend any wookiees.

@Jazz- Now that you mention it, Obama AND Roseanne Barr are crotch grabbers at times when others are solemn and patriotic.

@Sablegsd- If "just when you think it can't get worse it does," that means that today may be better than tomorrow will be, so we should appreciate it. I'm a glass half full kind of guy. (Granted, it's half full of whiskey...)

@Colby- Yeah, that remark is still stuck in my craw, too.

@Earl- Now I want to do a parody video of "Jumping Jack Ass" to the tune of the Rolling Stones "Jumping Jack Flash."

@Coon Tasty- While I have tremendous sensitivity to the sensibilities of others, I have checked out the Coon cheese website and found that the name is simply a celebration of Edward Coon, who patented a process for ripening cheese (and "Coon Tasty" is the company's most popular brand). Per the legal disclaimer at the bottom of this page, "we accept no responsibility for words or opinions which may appear differently or have offensive meanings in other languages or alleged cultures." Therefore, in the interest of multiculturalism (which is a beautiful part of appreciating diversity) your username is fine.

I particularly enjoyed this gem: "HopeNChange Cartoons should not be considered a reliable news source, but instead as an advocacy entertainment outlet much like MSNBC, CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, and the New York Times."

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