Proof of Alien Life on Oregon Coast, Portland Appears, Then Disappears

Published 04/01/2015

(Portland, Oregon) – Two remarkable, landmark events in the history of mankind took place in Oregon today with the discovery of alien life visiting the north Oregon coast and downtown Portland.

A massive Tyrannosaurus Rex simply appeared near Front Street in Portland Wednesday afternoon at about the same time a flying saucer craft hovered over Seaside, Manzanita, Arch Cape and then over Portland. The dinosaur appeared to be only a holographic projection, materializing just as the same alien craft was spotted over Portland.

The saucer stayed on the Oregon coast for about 20 minutes, according to witness reports, and then was seen again over Portland, just as the T Rex disappeared.

Officials with the Portland Police Bureau said the T Rex began to speak immediately upon appearing, trying to calm those around him.

“According to witnesses and 9/11 calls, it simply stood there at first and said, and I quote, 'Don't worry, I'm just a hologram,' and kept repeating that over and over again,” said a bureau spokesman. “It began walking, or moving, silently, repeating that same phrase. Once people noticed it was simply passing through cars and people, everyone started laughing. Most thought it was some kind of publicity stunt for a movie.”

Witnesses said the dinosaur hologram sounded much like Barney the Dinosaur on PBS. It reportedly later began asking the public where Django's Records was – a famous record store in Portland in the 80's and 90's.

On the north Oregon coast, the UFO hovered over Seaside for about ten minutes. It was then reported over Arch Cape for about three minutes, and then suddenly appeared Manzanita for seven minutes.

No damage was reported, except that Zinger's homemade Ice Cream in Seaside reported that all of their product suddenly dematerialized. In Manzanita, the San Dune Pub reported all of its Rumpelminz had also dematerialized.

Seaside Police and Zinger's owner Mike Exinger said they did not plan to press charges, especially in such a historic event like a first contact between interstellar species.

Oregon Coast Beach Connection editor Andre' Hagestedt was there to photograph the object, and said it was completely silent for the first few minutes.

“Then, weirdly enough, it started blasting songs by Grimes,” Hagestedt said. “Which is cool because she's my new fave these days. Also, happy April Fools Day.”