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Monthly Archives: June 2015

NEW YORK—Presidential hopeful Donald Trump announced he “might actually try running for real this time” now that NBC and Univision have cut ties with the billionaire. After recent controversial comments by Trump, NBC and Univision announced they would no longer work with Trump on TV programs such as The Apprentice, Miss America, and Miss Universe.…

WASHINGTON D.C.—Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia was found dead floating in a pool of what is suspected to be his own tears late this afternoon. Not much is known about the events leading up to the drowning. According to the authorities, Scalia’s body was found after neighbors reported “an intensely loud wailing that gave way…

Set your DVR, because President Obama has vowed to use the N-Word again. Obama made the announcement after appearing on Marc Maron’s WTF podcast earlier this week. “After using the N-word on the Podcast, that was all people could talk about.” Obama said. “Suddenly the TPP, job numbers, Benghazi…all gone. No one cared.” Obama expressed regret…

MONTREAL— Further allegations of corruption are plaguing FIFA, the world’s highest governing body in soccer. An anonymous whistleblower recently told Stubhill that the Canadian government took a bribe of $5 million from FIFA to place a successful bid on the most recent Women’s World Cup. “FIFA doesn’t put much effort into women’s soccer so it’s…

After the tragic events in South Carolina, we need to have a frank and open discussion about race in America. How many more Americans need to die before people on all sides of the political spectrum can come together and finally admit that Barak H. Obama is the most racially divisive President we have ever…

PORTLAND, MAINE— Horror writer Stephen King has filed a copyright lawsuit against Richard Matt and David Sweat, two criminals who recently gained notoriety for escaping a high-security prison in New York. The lawsuit claims that Matt and Sweat imposed upon the intellectual property of King when they used tools to dig a hole in their prison…

Washington D.C.— Kentucky Senator of GOP presidential hopeful Rand Paul was found dead in his backyard this afternoon due to an apparent drone strike. The late senator and son of Texas congressman Ron Paul is perhaps best known as a child actor for his role as Ferguson in the Nickelodeon classic Clarissa Explains it All.…