my letter

It’s almost a year since my last entry. It feels good to write again, but I guess I saved it all for the new site, waited I guess. I’m one big believer of the saying “good things happen for those who wait”, and I guess it finally happened. My.Kali’s all new site! This magazine is becoming a home of creativity, to a lot of people, from our loyal writers, designers and readers, to the new artists, designers, photographers, videographers, writers and creative team, who are a source of inspiration. I want to welcome them passionately to this world that we’re creating together! My.Kali now includes videos of making ofs (behind the scenes, Thanks to Ala’a and Mostafa) that allows you to see how My.Kali’s creative team put together each issue’s feature shoot, please check the behind the scenes videos of Jana Zeineddine in downtown, and Lara Sawalha‘s cover shoot. The magazine will be including pages on beauty and style delivered to you by the best bloggers out there. A whole new platform for established and upcoming bloggers to express themselves, therefore you can access and read through different mentalities and personal theories… Read all about the NEW My.Kali

A magazine that thrives on art therapy, photography and psychology. It’s an all improved and approved My.Kali! We hope you like it and enjoy it as much as we are. Our latest cover story, is actress Lara Sawalha (<picture), portraying the “good” modern doll of Eve! Wearing herself nonchalantly, half nude, and innocently bare! The porcelain-like character is efficient to let you wander around those lost eyes! However, we can’t wait to unleash the second cover (Vol. 2 for the same issue) of her other side; “bad” Eve early next month… Keep your eyes peeled!

Also welcoming My.Kali’s new cover designer, Atef, who has been on spot-talented and innovative, keeping the magazine’s covers-theme in tune and maintaining it’s identity. Our covers maybe powerful and bold, but are edited by the most shy and adorable human being you’ll ever meet. Atef will be our/your loyal designer… coming to you from a shy place.

Lets get more personal, shall we?

The quality or condition of being secluded from the presence or view of others is deprived! The state of being concealed; secrecy is missing! Lately, and not sure why, I’ve been dwelling over privacy, trying to be free from unsanctioned intrusions! Have you ever felt like owning a well where you can throw your secrets in it instead of dishing the deets over tea time to your friends later? What about those days that you’ve been craving seclusion, demanding time out? Is shutting the rest of the world away from yourself mean more quality time? Less drama? Yet, one’s love to spend time by oneself is also time better spent! One of the reasons I resonate with Rafic’s article “The Charm of Aloneness” for our issue last month, makes me feel emotionally departed toward social pressures, testing the game of solitaire, solo!

It’s quite after mid night, and it’s my birthday, I’m not sitting on top of a roof writing in candle light, but much cozy in my bed, viewing the city! Gloomy, but just the way I like it! I pity my birthdays, how I get awkward when you center me, how shaky I get when you sing that ‘Happy Birthday’ song, and how shy I become from all the flattering… it makes me wonder, have I always been allergic to attention? You’d probably laugh sarcastically when reading this, considering my status, but just watch me spill everything… I guarantee wet pants, pun intended! I’m not good in such occasions or first impressions for that matter; I guess the expectations had shut me down, it’s a normal day that everything goes wrong in it, but that’s just the sensitive part… giving is much better than receiving, don’t you think? Happier people feel much better than a happier me, I think the anticipation of a weird day a year is mandatory…

Loneliness is another thing, and is every human’s enemy! You never want to be in a silenced room, no movement, no voice, no life… you’d eventually freak out, that’s why sometimes we seek to adopt an animal to move around, or turn on the TV before we sleep… it’s just little things we never pay attention to, yet makes us feel a little more secured or to fake the fact that we’re not alone, but we never are really…

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of news about people who I grew up with or were with me in high-school are either married or engaged and it freaked me out, I was suddenly in the future! When did that happen?! It’s like yesterday when I turned 13, it was yesterday when I got the latest smash hits magazine, and it was yesterday when I discovered I was different. All these people are settling in their lives, someone is the “executive manager” at I don’t know what, another got engaged to my other school mate… it’s difficult watching these girls and guys who used dress very school-like, un-appropriately, and may I say Britney cut sided pants up to the thigh, in religion-class, are now wearing white dresses and veils! Now I feel like I don’t belong all over again! Detached! These people are growing to a life of settlement and independence and I’m here writing and dreaming about it! And I’m sure many feel the same, which makes me feel better, that I’m not in this alone! But you can’t help but thinking, and absorbing, what about those gay people who marries off, against their wills, with their wills, denying facts, arranged marriages, and those who choose to abandon the gay life, leaving us behind! Yes, we want the liberal life with no attachment of our society’s norms, customs and traditions… but you can’t help the fact that it has rubbed off! We live here, among these societies, and whether you like it or not, you’ll feel the pressure with or without your consent, it feels wrong to be single sometimes, doesn’t it? The past never goes away, at some point it catches up with you, and suddenly you’re that 16 year old who wants to fit in again, the past could always be part of you, therefore I never wanted to meet the past or face terms with it, I’d feel unaccomplished or that I haven’t moved up in my life much and that I haven’t changed either! Hurt could linger, and it could be addictive at times, dwelling over the past full of hurts and insecurities, maybe it’s the fact that I have let my 16 year old self to dream, or the fact that I still feel sorry for my 16 year old self, noticing that I haven’t moved up in life yet, and that everything is happening so fast, so soon, early… and so sad for not feeling what my society perceive of what happy is, or being part of the things that are celebrating-worthy! And sadness take part again, just like happiness, it’s uncontrollable, surrendering to such emotions that drifts in the realms of truth, the past, and the now! It’s always best to be honest with yourself, let it go for once, out, show a little and conceal a little, letting others know about your imperfections. Therefore, I leave you with Lana Del Ray’s latest tune that fits the mood “Blue Velvet”, and we shall talk soon.

Yours and always, Kali. .

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