The initiative follows the creation of a working group within the force’s Diversity and Citizen Focus Directorate to tackle “race and gender” issues within the Met’s mascot division.

I love these ideological Holy Office titles the U.K. is lumbered with nowadays — "the force's Diversity and Citizen Focus Directorate."

When I read the headline I thought at first that the mascot must be a dog, like fire departments' proverbial Dalmatians. I was going to title this posting "Cry 'fetch' and let slip the dogs of diversity." Oh well.

Complaints about him first appeared in The Job, the Met’s monthly magazine, in September when a Sergeant Wright wrote about using the mascot at a community event.

“An Asian member of our team agreed to be Steve,” the sergeant said. “He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and because the character would not have dark-skinned arms it became apparent that the officer would not be able to perform the role. Female team members also felt isolated.” The Met responded by saying that it was addressing the race and gender issues around mascots, prompting Richard Barnes, a Conservative member of the London Assembly, to table a series of questions to Sir Ian.

After receiving the answers, Mr Barnes told The Times yesterday: “Are they serious? There are so many issues that are of greater importance than the gender of a giant foam doll.”

Special relationship, blood is thicker than water and all. But Britannistan needs to be sedated and kept for its own protection in the attic and fed through a slot in the door.

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