April, 2015

(Oh, were you expecting some glamorous bikini shot? A gratuitous gif, maybe? Well SHAME ON YOU, Nation. *This* is the face of women’s MMA, so look at it, ya bunch of misogynists! via Invicta)

In the wake of all this bombshell Jon Jones news being dropped, it would be easy to overlook the fact that the UFC made another, more positive announcement earlier this week: the signing of former Invicta atomweight champion Michelle Waterson to their 115-pound division. The news of Waterson’s was made by the UFC on Tuesday, and last night, Waterson’s debut opponent has been announced.

Suffice it to say, if you think “The Karate Hottie” is being handed a gimme fight to launch her up the rankings, well, you’re right.

Aside from escaping a fire, it’s never a good thing when the audience starts leaving halfway through the main event of a card. It’s an even worse thing when you’ve already had to close off half the arena just to fill the building. No, UFC 186 was not a successful PPV for the world’s premier MMA organization, but despite its many, many failings, it wasn’t a half-bad display of mixed martial arts…for Bellator, or WSOF, of even a Fight Pass show.

Still the fights went on, winners were crowned and with this trainwreck behind us, we must now wonder where do they go from here?

It’s a phrase I did not expect to type in my tenure at CP, but here we are. Just two days after the troubled champion was involved in a hit-and-run accident that resulted in the injury of a pregnant woman, Jones has been stripped of his title and suspended indefinitely by the UFC. Ho. Lee. Shit.

The UFC’s official statement on Jones (via their website) is after the jump.

It may have taken him close to 24 hours to do so, but Jon Jones has finally turned himself in to Albuquerque police following his hit-and-run accident over the weekend. Now, he faces a completely different backlash, with fans, fighters, and media members alike calling for him to be pulled from UFC 187 and stripped of his title.

Jones, who is (or should we say, was) scheduled to defend his title against Anthony Johnson at UFC 187 in May, was involved in a three car accident in Albuquerque on Saturday morning before fleeing the scene. Marijuana, paraphernalia, and “paperwork belonging to a Jonathan Jones, which had MMA information on it from the state of Nevada” were all found in his rental car, and witnesses on the scene (including an off-duty cop) identified the light heavyweight champion as the man fleeing the scene.

The only person listed as injured in the accident was a 25-year-old pregnant woman who was taken to the hospital for what were at first considered minor injuries after she told police that she “was going to pass out.” Recently, however, it was revealed that the woman’s injuries were a bit more serious than originally reported, and as a result, Albuquerque police are now seeking to bring Jones in on felony charges.

Not that you care right now, what with Jon Jones’ hit-and-run currently capturing your attention, but there was a UFC event over the weekend that on paper looked pretty crappy but in reality turned out to be pretty fun affair (and not just because I went 10-2 on my fight picks for the second time in the past three events).

UFC 186: Johnson vs. Horiguchi, it was called, and true to form, it was a card absolutely ravaged by injuries. Dillashaw, Barao, Rory Mac, Lombard, Trujillo — all were expected to fight on Saturday, but the MMA Gods had other plans. Instead, we were treated to the (underwhelming) return of Rampage Jackson thanks to a last-minute appeal of the injunction that originally forced him off the card, the arrival of Thomas Almeida, and the continued dominance of Mighty Mouse.

In the main event of the evening, Demetrious Johnson had his way with #7 ranked (and +1000 underdog) Kyoji Horiguchi for five straight rounds. It was very much a typical Johnson performance in many regards, in that it was damn near flawless, capped off by a late submission (the latest ever, actually), and all but ignored by the fans in the Belle Center. Little guys just don’t get no respect, nawmsayin?

Check out the highlights from the entire UFC 186 main card and a full list of results after the jump.

Rumors started circulating last night that the light heavyweight champion had been involved in yet another automobile mishap — this time, a hit and run accident in which a 20 year-old pregnant woman was hospitalized — in his resident Albuquerque. After initially denying that Jones was the man being sought after for the hit-and-run, Albuquerque police later released a statement that reads:

“The Albuquerque Police Department is actively seeking UFC Fighter Jon Jones for questioning in regards to his possible involvement in a hit-and-run accident, near the intersection of Juan Tabo and Southern, in Southeast Albuquerque early this morning, April 26, 2015.”

While Jones has apparently not been seen or heard from since the time of the alleged incident, the UFC has since released a statement in response, which you can check out after the jump.

Last week at UFC on FOX 15, we watched in awe/horror as Chris Camozzi was mercilessly sacrificed the Brazilian alligator god they call Jacare in the name of “our entertainment.” The fight was like watching a car wreck play out in slow motion — if one of the vehicles involved was a Smart Fortwo and the other a Caterpillar 79 – but hey, Some Fight is Better Than No Fight, Amiright? (copyright UFC 2016)

But Camozzi was not the first man to ever be brought into a no-win situation for one reason or another. Throughout MMA History, there have been fighters who served little other purpose than to make their opponents look all the more impressive. They’re called sacrificial lambs, and with an ever-expanding schedule constantly being undermined by ever-increasing injuries, even the UFC has been forced to call on them from time to time. So with all that in mind, let’s take a look back at some of the more notable fall men in MMA history.

While the lot of us know Andre the Giant for three things — Wrestlemania III, The Princess Bride, and being the uncredited inspiration behind My Dinner With Andre — we often neglect to mention some of his earlier work when discussing his legacy. I’m talking about his classic turns as Sasquatch in The Six Million Dollar Man, Dagoth in Conan the Destroyer, and his brief appearance in B.J. and the Bear. Who among us can forget that last one.

But before Andre Roussimoff was feuding with the likes of Hulk Hogan and Ahhnold, he was just your everyday, 7 foot tall actor looking for work. And boy oh boy did he find it in the 1967 French martial arts flick Chinese Headache for Judoka.

In a movie IMDB describes as “Judoka Marc Saint-Clair tries to save the world from nuclear disaster fighting Chinese and Russians,” Andre appears as a judo-chopping menace simply named “Fighter.” Thanks to this recently dug up footage by our friends over at Uproxx, check out a much thinner, much nimbler Andre in action. It is truly a sight to behold, and a stern reminder that Andre and Hong Man Choi are destined to throw down in this life or the next.