Monday November 24, 2008

Monday Morning Mirth

While we sleep, the Vocabulary Elves work overtime, making and inserting brave new words into our daily language…

For your pleasure and edification, we present the:

SLANGUAGE GLOSSARY
DUDESPEAK
· BROHAM: Since “bro” is passe, dudes in the know use this term when referring to a closest guy pal.
· BROMANCE: A relationship between brohams who are inseparable but not lovers.
· BRODEO: Major hangout place among brohams.
· BROHEMIAN: A flip-flop-wearing, carbon-print-shrinking, die-hard liberal. Might say, “Race is a four-letter word, dude.” A brohemian who frequently smokes marijuana and lives off a trust fund may be known as a “trustafarian.”

CHICKTALK
· DECIBELLE: A woman who, after a couple of drinks, suddenly cannot control the volume of her voice.
· HAITRESS: The crotchety waitress who clearly doesn’t care about getting a good tip.
· ICKYYAKI: Scary-looking sushi.
· MANBIGUOUS: Formerly known as a “metrosexual,” this dude is sexy yet so pristine that a gal can’t be sure whether he is gay or straight – or both.
· MARGARITHIM: (Pronounced: Margareet-him) The act of drinking a margarita to loosen up before meeting a guy. As in, “Chloe, John’s over there. If you’re interested, you’re going to have to margarithim.”

MORE SLANG
· CRAPPUCCINO: A $4-plus coffee concoction that tastes like the bottom of your shoe.
· MEXICANT: (Pronounced: Mexi-can’t) The inability to stuff yourself with one more morsel of Tex Mex.
· BROJAK: A broham without a hair on his shiny head.
· MALLTERNATIVE: One of the neo-punk, goth or otherwise anti-establishment wannabes who shop at Hot Topic.
· BRO YO: Yogurt infused with a flavor that dudes can appreciate, such as apple turnover.

While all these lovely and lively phrases will most likely evaporate into the ether as quickly as they came, my favorite to-be-shelved is currently yo, dog, a phrase still going strong amongst yupsters in the Midwest. What’s yours?