The Awareness Center closed. We operated from April 30, 1999 - April 30, 2014. This site is being provided for educational & historical purposes.
We were the international Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA); and were dedicated to ending sexual violence in Jewish communities globally. We did our best to operate as the make a wish foundation for Jewish survivors of sex crimes. In the past we offered a clearinghouse of information, resources, support and advocacy.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

I wanted to thank you for writing such an important article as you did with the story of sexual abuse survivor Bobby Drish, ("Abuse allegations go online," June 16). The Awareness Center is the international Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault. We also have many stories similar to that of Bobby Drish. It saddens me a great deal every time I hear of another case where the survivor was blamed and not believed. I was so happy that you gave Bobby the opportunity to empower himself enough to bear witness and tell his story.

It is vitally important for newspapers like yours to allow survivors to have a voice. Not only does it help survivors heal, it also offers an opportunity for others to know they are not alone and gives our communities the chance to understand the ramification sexual violence has on our lives.

Monday, June 20, 2005

NOTE: Besides Yori Yanover being friends with alleged sex offender, Rabbi Hershy Worch, he was also close friends with convicted sex offender Rabbi David Lipman, both worked for him when he ran JCN18 (Jewish Communication Network) along with his friend, Rabbi Larry Yudelson (Reb Yudel).

_________________________________________________________________________________Newspaper publisher becomes the story before debate

Yori Yanover, publisher of the Grand Street News

By Ronda Kaysen

Volume 75, Number 8 | June 13- 20, 2005

http://www.thevillager.com/villager_115/newspaperpublisher.html

http://www.downtownexpress.com/de_114/newspaperpublisher.html

Yori Yanover - enabler of sex offenders

Much
thought isn't usually given to moderators. By definition, they are
thought to be moderate, but Yori Yanover, who was tapped to facilitate
Tuesday night's City Council District 2 debate, has some strong opinions
about the feminist, gay rights and psychoanalytic movements and isn't
afraid to blog them.

On
Tuesday morning, hours before 12 of the candidates vying to fill
Margarita Lopez's City Council seat gathered at the Henry Street
Settlement for their first public debate, an anonymous e-mail circulated
among the candidates, urging them to boycott the event, which was to
include three panelists asking questions in addition to Yanover, who was
to moderate. The writer, identifying himself only as Constitution Man
of the Committee to Boycott LoHo Realty and their Grand Street News,
pointed to a private Web blog penned by the debate's moderator as cause
for a candidate-wide boycott.

The
blog, www.usajewish.com, was written by Yanover, the publisher of Grand
Street News, a booklet-size community newspaper sponsored by LoHo
Realty. The entries in question address an ongoing dispute within the
Jewish community about a handful of rabbis accused of sexual
impropriety.

In one entry, Yanover responds to sexual allegations against the late Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach
lodged by several women after Carlebach's death. The allegations were
never brought to court. In response to the unsubstantiated allegations,
Yanover, in his blog, blamed the "homosexual movement, the feminist
movement and the psychoanalytical movement. All three movements have
politicized the sexual, and with that, robbed us of the carefree
availability of our sexual expression," he wrote.

"The
gay rights, feminist and psychological movements have changed how
society approached sex in worrisome ways," Yanover told The Villager.
"Making a sexual mistake in this society is the most dangerous thing
that can happen to you. The boss who 10 years ago may have said
something cheeky to a secretary or a female underling, now he's going in
the other direction. This is part of the anxiety of our culture."

One
candidate, Brian Kavanagh, withdrew his name from the debate after
learning about Yanover's statements. "The moderator of a debate is not
merely a bystander, but controls the forum and has a public presence and
I think that choosing this particular person under the present
circumstances shows some insensitivity both to the gay and lesbian
community and also to victims of rape," said Kavanagh, describing the
blog entries as "reprehensible."

"Is
she concerned? I'm sure she would be concerned with anything that's
homophobic or anti-women," said Roberto Caballero, who is gay and is the
campaign manager for Reverend Joan Brightharp, the only member of the
clergy in the race. Brightharp, however, planned to attend the debate,
which occurred as The Villager went to press.

Yori Yanover making online death threats to various Rape Victim Advocates

Yanover
is a strong presence in the Lower East Side community. In fact, Grand
Street News approached Henry Street Settlement several months ago to
co-sponsor the debate along with LoHo Realty. Some local figures have
jumped to his defense in the wake of the Tuesday morning e-mail. "I
believe in supporting good people," said Susan Stetzer, district manager
of Community Board 3. "He is not homophobic, he is not anti-feminist.
He and his wife are feminists and they're raising their daughter to be a
feminist." Stetzer and David McWater, C.B. 3 chairperson, were profiled
by Grand Street News within the past year and their photo appeared on
its cover.

Henry
Street Settlement, which hosted the event, had no intentions of
canceling or changing moderators on Tuesday afternoon. "At this point,
we're not making any changes," said Kathleen Gupta, a chief
administrator for the Henry Street Settlement, two hours before the
event. "We're just moving forward and hoping it'll be a productive
evening."

Rosie
Mendez, the only openly gay candidate in the race, had not read the
e-mail when she spoke to The Villager on Tuesday afternoon and was
reluctant to take a position. "I have to ask myself, `Why today, a
couple of hours before the debate, is this coming to light?' " she said.
"This has been planned a long time ago. It's interesting that this has
come out now." Mendez planned to attend the event.

The
author of the e-mail that pointed candidates and The Villager to the
blog did not return requests for comment, nor did he respond to requests
to identify himself.

Bias
is often subjective and, according to Yanover, the comments on his blog
— all of which were removed on Tuesday afternoon — were part of a
larger dialogue within the Jewish community. The blog entries in
question were written last winter, he said, in response to comments made
last October by an organization, the Awareness Center, about his close
friend Rabbi Jeremy Hershy Worch.

The Awareness Center,
a Maryland-based organization, is "dedicated to addressing sexual
violence in Jewish communities around the world," according to its Web
site. Among the alleged perpetrators of sexual violence accused on the
Web site is Yanover's friend Worch.

"Every time you Google the guy's name,
every time he applies for a job," the link to the Awareness Center Web
site appears at the top of the search engine, said Yanover. "His name is
destroyed. What can you do about this? All you can do is cower away or
you can fight this."

And
so Yanover printed the full name, address and telephone number of the
woman who made the accusations against Worch, removing the "the shelter
of anonymity" that protected her.

"This
woman destroyed the life of a man, she accused him of despicable things
and hid behind a veil of anonymity and she did not deserve it
[anonymity]," said Yanover in a telephone interview, pointing out that
no charges were ever brought against Worch.

Ironically,
the Internet and the infinite memory of Google may now have turned on
Yanover, thrusting his online ramblings into the political arena. "A
friend of mine last October was destroyed by sinister people and it's
been my business to defend his good name," he said.

The following is for informational purposes only. The
Awareness Center is providing the following to help the average reader better
understand the political arena the alleged survivors, witnesses and victim
advocates have been subject to.

The majority of individuals around the world are unfamiliar
with Rabbi Yaakov Weiner, his family and or the political influences that
have surrounded his life.

As in most cases, it is a very difficult to deal with
situations of sexual violence when a loved one is the alleged or convicted
sex offender. Think about it—what would you do if you suspected that
someone you are related to or are friends with is sexually inappropriate?
Would you talk to him/her about it? Would you tell another family member
or friend? Would you share it with your rabbi? Would your rabbi know what
to do? Would you seek professional help or advice? Should you keep quiet
to protect your family member or sound the whistle to protect another? How
would your community react if they knew someone in your family allegedly
sexually victimized another? Would your community's expected reaction influence
any decision you'd make? These are just few of the numerous dilemmas and
questions regularly posted to The Awareness Center.

Dealing with alleged and convicted sex offenders and
their family members presents complex ethical issues. What can be harder
than being the mother or the father of a sex offender?

Denial is clearly the first line of defense, because
who in their right mind wants to believe that their offspring, someone they
love and care for, could hurt a child? How can a parent even think of supposedly
relinquishing their instinct to protect their child by reporting him or her
to the authorities? It is a terrible dilemma. Could you as a parent turn
your child over to the police? Could you force an adult child of yours into
sex offender treatment? And what would friends and other family members think
if they learned that you were the parent of a sexual predator? A similar
between a rock and a hard place is the reality for people who are married
to sex offenders.

What about the stigma and shame if anyone learned your
secret, learned that you married, live with and or bed such a person? And
what about the children of a sex offender—how would you feel if you
were one? How would you face your friends, schoolmates, or co-workers once
your parent's criminal behavior was made public? Would you still be allowed
in your friends' homes? Would you still have friends? Would you and your
siblings face shunning and stigma come marriage age?

These heartbreaking and complicated issues are real,
and need to be addressed. We need to address them as a community. Every alleged
and convicted sex offender has parents, family, friends and
colleagues—people who are close to him/her and are faced with this reality,
often unprepared, and in many ways, also victimized, hurt, confused,
disillusioned, and ashamed.

Do you know of a family member or friend of an alleged
or convicted sex offender? It is critical that you don't turn your backs
on them. They need your support. Put yourself in their place. If you were
one, what would you need?

The spouse of an alleged and/or convicted sex offender
may need financial support while the offender is in prison and or treatment.
If there are children in the home, the non-abusive spouse may have to keep
them away from the offender to keep them safe. Can you imagine the feelings
of anger, shame, guilt, and fear that the non-offending parent will need
to deal with?

Every member of a family of alleged and/or convicted
sex offenders will need the community's emotional, financial, and spiritual
support. And what a difference such support can make in the healing process
of non-offending family members; versus them being shunned for their
"association" with a sexual predator and/or for helping to stop the
abuse.

There is no doubt that we all have a moral obligation
to help stop sexual violence so that offenders cease to victimize and the
victims receive the healing they deserve. Whether we know the offender or
not, hiding, denying and covering up his or her actions make us accomplices
to the crime. At the same time, the pain of having a family member or friend
who is an alleged or convicted sex offender has to be one of the hardest
pains to bear. It is also our moral obligation, as a community, to offer
a holding environment (not shunning and shame) for all families torn by
abuse—those of the victims, and that of the offender.

Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg zt”l (1910-2012): Rosh Yeshiva For The AgesJewish Press - March 28, 2012 The rosh yeshiva is survived by his son and successor Rabbi
Simcha; his daughter Rebbetzin Fruma Rochel, married to Rabbi Chaim Dov
Altusky; his daughter Rebbetzin Rivka, married to Rabbi Shimon
Rosengarten; his daughter Rebbetzin Chana, married to Rabbi Dovid
Weiner; his daughter Rebbetzin Zelda Altusky; and by generations of
descendants as well as tens of thousand of students. The remembrance of
the rosh yeshiva is a blessing.

Yisrael Meir (HaCohen) Kagan (1838 - 1933) was an influential Eastern European
rabbi, Halakhist, Kabbalist, and ethicist. He is widely referred to as the
Chofetz Chaim, for the title of his best known work.

Biography

Rabbi Kagan was born in Zhetel, Poland on February 6, 1838, and died in Radin,
Poland, September 15, 1933. He was one of the most influential rabbis within
Orthodox Judaism during the late 19th and early 20th century taking a central
leadership role in the World Agudath Israel movement in Eastern Europe.

One major American yeshiva named in his honor is the Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim:
Rabbinical Seminary of America centered in Queens, New York, with several
branches in the United States and Israel. An Orthodox kibbutz was named Chafetz
Chaim in his honor. Many smaller Jewish religious institutions throughout
the world also carry his name. The Chofetz Chaim's teachings have inspired
some modern Haredi English-speaking American Jews to establsih the Chofetz
Chaim Heritage Foundation dedicated to the dissemination of his teachings
to Jewish communities around the world.

Just to give a taste of the greatness of the " Chofetz Chaim", a story is
told of a man who came to the "Chofetz Chaim" seeking a "haskama" (certification)
for his newly written work on anger management. When he approached the "Chofetz
Chaim", the latter refused to adhere to this man's request. The man broke
out in a rage over the decline of certification for his writings. The "Chofetz
Chaim" simply replied "This is exactly why I didn't give you a 'haskama'.
Before I wrote my 'seforim'(books) on 'shmiras halashon'(gossip) I didn't
speak one word of gossip for forty years! How dare you be so rude to ask
for certification on your book about anger management if you yourself can't
control your own anger!"

Rabbi Yisroel Meir HaKohen was one of the greatest
figures in modern Jewish history. He was recognized as both an outstanding
scholar and an extraordinarily righteous man. His impact on Judaism was
phenomenal. It is interesting to note that, despite his great stature, he
refused to accept any rabbinical position and supported himself from a small
grocery run by his saintly wife in the town of Radin where they lived. Rabbi
Yisroel Meir devoted himself to the study and teaching of Torah.

Rabbi Yisroel
Meir is perhaps best known for his campaign to teach his fellow Jews about
the laws of Lashon
Hara (forbidden speech). When he was 35 (1873) he published his first
book, Chofetz Chaim, which was devoted to this topic. (The name comes from
Tehillim (Psalms) 34, "Who is the man that desires life (chofetz chaim)...
keep your tongue from evil...") He later published two more books on this
subject. As has often happened to Judaism's great leaders, Rabbi Yisroel
Meir became known by the name of his book and is known worldwide as the Chofetz
Chaim.

The Chofetz Chaim wrote on many subjects and ultimately
published over 20 books. Some important ones are
Ahavas
Chesed (Love of Kindness) on the mitzvah of lending money, Machaneh Yisroel
(The Jewish Camp) for Jews serving in non-Jewish armies, and Nidchei Yisroel
(The Scattered of Israel) for Jews who moved to places where there were few
religious Jews, particularly America. He wrote books about the importance
of Torah study and many other important issues.

Probably the most important book he wrote was the Mishna
Berurah, a six-volume commentary on Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim (which deals
with the laws of daily life and holidays). This book may be the most important
halachic (Jewish law) work of our time.

Miscellaneous: Rabbi Yisroel Meir Kagen
became the co-founder of Agudas Yisrael in 1912.

Rabbi Scheinberg was born circa 1913 in New York, the son of a tailor. Until
the age of nine he attended public school, afterwards attending the
Rabbi Jacob Joseph
yeshiva (RJJ) until the age of fourteen. He then studied in Rabbi Yehuda
Levenberg's Bais Medrash LeRabbonim Yeshiva (at the time
located in New Haven, Connecticut). At seventeen Rabbi Scheinberg progressed
to the Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary, now affiliated with Yeshiva
University. There he learned under Rabbis Shlomo Polachek - known as the
"Meitcheter Illui", Moshe Soloveitchik and Shimon Shkop (who lived in New
York for a short period). Rabbi Scheinberg received Semicha from Rabbi Dr
Bernard Revel.

After marrying the daughter of Rabbi Yaakov Yosef Herman at the age of 19,
the couple embarked for the Mir yeshiva in what was then Poland (and is now
Belarus), where he studied for 5 years. The Mir had very few American students,
although his brother Shmuel Scheinberg and others such as Nosson Wachtfogel
(future Mashgiach of the Lakewood Yeshiva) also learnt there.

While studying in Mir, Rabbi Scheinberg once visited a leader of Ashkenazi
Jewry at the time, the Chofetz Chaim. When informed of a group of students
who had travelled all the way from America in order to learn Torah, the Chofetz
Chaim was not overly impressed. He quipped, "If G-d came down all the way
from heaven to earth in order to give us the Torah, a student can be expected
to travel from America to Europe in order to learn His Torah".

Upon returning to the USA, Rabbi Scheinberg became a faculty member of his
alma mater, the New Haven Yeshiva, which ultimately closed in 1938. He then
became the Mashgiach (spiritual supervisor) at the
Rabbinical
Seminary of America founded by
Rabbi Dovid
Leibowitz.

Later life

In the 1960's, Rabbi Scheinberg relocated from the United States to Israel,
where he has lived since. Among other things, he is famous for wearing many
layers of tzitzit at the same time. Although he has never publicly revealed
the reason, one conjecture is that he does this to satisfy diverging rabbinical
opinions as to exactly how this mitzvah must be fulfilled. Another is that
he took on this practice while his daughter was ill so that more mitzvot
would be performed in her merit.

He is popular among students at yeshivas geared towards American students
due to his fluency in English and his familiarity with the issues faced by
American Orthodox teenagers studying in Israel. Rabbi Scheinberg is also
a member of the
Moetzes Gedolei
HaTorah of the
Agudath Israel.

In his front-page essay "Rabbi Avigdor Miller: His Early Years" (Jewish Press, April 30), Dr.Yitzchok
Levine inaccurately stated that during the 1920's, Yeshivas Rabbeinu
Yitzchak Elchanan was "the only yeshiva in America at that time with a
beis medrash."

The context of this statement is that Rabbi Avigdor Miller learned at Yeshivas RabbeinuYitzchak
Elchanan under Rabbi Moshe Soloveichik before moving on to study at the
yeshiva in Slabodka, a transfer done at the request of Rabbi Isaac
Sher, son-in-law of Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel, the famed Alter of
Slabodka.

William B. Helmreich in his monumental work The World
of the Yeshiva describes the history of the formation of the advanced
yeshiva movement in the United States, listing YeshivasEtz Chaim, founded in 1896, which then merged with Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan in1915,
as the earliest still established advanced yeshiva in the United
States. Helmreich then lists the Hebrew Theological College in Skokie,
Illinois, started as a rabbinical seminary in 1922, as the second
advanced yeshiva established in the United States.

Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan and the Hebrew Theological College were not the onlytwo
existing yeshivas with batei medrashos in the United States; in 1923,
Rabbi Yehuda Levenberg founded the Bais Medrash LeRabbonim in New Haven,
Connecticut. However, due to factors related to the Great Depression
and internal dissension within the yeshiva, Rabbi Levenberg relocated to
Cleveland, Ohio in 1928. While the Bais Medrash LeRabbonim ultimately
closed in 1938, members of the yeshiva, led by Rabbi Yaakov Ruderman,
moved to Baltimore in 1933 where they established Yeshivas Ner Yisrael. (Rabbi Yaakov Ruderman was the maternal grandfather of alleged sex offenders Rabbi Matis Weinberg and Rabbi Simcha Weinberg).

Other
prominent students and faculty members of the Yeshiva of New Haven
included Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (the 20th century's foremost American
halachic authority and rosh yeshiva of Manhattan's Mesivta Tifereth
Jerusalem); Rabbi Dr. Samuel Belkin (rosh hayeshiva of RIETS and second
president of Yeshiva University); Rabbi Baruch Kaplan (father of the
Bais Yaakov movement in America); Rabbi Menachem Zvi Eichenstein (chief
rabbi of St. Louis, Missouri); Rabbi Alexander Linchner (builder of Boys
Town Jerusalem); Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg (rosh yeshiva of Torah
Or, and spiritual leader of Yerushalayim's Mattesdorfcommunity); and Mr. Charles Batt (the late prominent and distinguished lay leader in the NewEngland Jewish community).(Rabbi Moshe Feinstein is the grandfather of two alleged sex offenders –– Rabbi Mordecai Tendler and Rabbi Aron B. Tendler).

Another yeshiva of the time was Torah Vodaath, founded in 1917 as an elementary school.

In
1926, Reb Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz established a high school there,
followed in 1929 by a beis medrash with Rabbi Dovid Leibowitz at its
head. In fact, concerning the longstanding, and perhaps integral,
relationship between Reb Mendlowitz's Torah Vodaath and Rabbi
Levenberg's Yeshiva of New Haven, biographer Yonoson Rosenbaum wrote of a
pioneer trip by Reb Mendlowitz to the Yeshiva of New Haven. "He wanted
his students to experience a real Beis Medrash on the European model, so
he took them on Lag Ba'Omer up to NewHaven, Connecticut where Rabbi
Yehuda Heschel Levenberg, the rav of the city, had founded the first
advanced yeshiva in America" (Reb Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz, p. 80).

Notwithstanding
the memorable beginning of the Beis Medrash LeRabbonim, very little has
been written in English regarding Rabbi Yehuda Levenberg and his
Yeshiva of New Haven. Rabbi Ari Zivitofsky's recent article in the
Jewish Observer (December 2003) was quite informative in describing an
oft-forgotten chapter in American Orthodoxy.

As an undergraduate
student at both Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan and Yeshiva College
who is fascinated with Jewish history, I take pride in the history of
the yeshiva that I attend, as one should. I appreciate the effort The
Jewish Press has demonstrated in presentingthe history of American-born gedolim. Rabbi Avigdor Miller truly was, as Dr. Yitzchok Levinestated, "one of the foremost proponents of Orthodoxy in the United States."

Menachem ButlerJamaica Estates, NY

--------------------------------------------

Dr. Yitzchok Levine Responds: My statement about Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yitzchok Elchanan
was based on the following sentence from "Remembering Rabbi Avigdor
Miller," an article, written by Rabbi Shmuel Brog, one of Rav Miller's
sons-in-law, that appeared in the November 2001 issue of the Jewish
Observer (see www.shemayisrael.com/jewishobserver/archives/nov/rbrog.htm).
In this article Rabbi Brog wrote, "His love of learning led him to a
second galus. At age 17, after graduating high school, he left Baltimore
for Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan in New York, the only yeshiva
in America at that time with a beis midrash."

I thank Menachem Butler for pointing this error out to me and your readers. I also thank him for
providing us all with some interesting history about the yeshivas that
were in existence in the first part of the 20th century.

Some of the information on The Awareness Center's
web pages may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always
been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material
available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political,
human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues,
etc.

We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any
such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright
Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this
site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest
in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.

For more information go to:
http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml
. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this update for purposes
of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the
copyright owner.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Sir, – Re "Missing Arizona rabbi faces child abuse charges" (June 9): I wanted to thank Sam Ser and The Jerusalem Post for writing this article. As I'm sure you are aware, it's not uncommon for individuals accused of sexual crimes to flee the community where the accusations have been made.

Unfortunately, many from Jewish communities tend to flee to Israel to avoid prosecution. We have also seen a trend in which those who end up in Israel change their names to avoid detection.

My hope is that Rabbi David E. Lipman will soon be found alive and well and able to face the charges being brought against him.

Pled guilty to sexual contact with a young child. Elbert John Jarvis II is his legal name according to criminal records from the Arlington County Circuit Court - Criminal Division.

On April 28, 2005 Jay Jarvis received a five-year "suspended imposition of sentence." Placed on supervised probation, he was required to submit to a sex offender evaluation, a polygraph and whatever treatment his evaluator required.

Two months later the women who was molested by Jarvis learned that Beth El Hebrew Congregation Brotherhood voted him "Man of the Year". We should all ask the synoguge's Brotherhood to donate the $10.00 per person they charged for the Annual Meeting and Dinner to Jay Jarvis's survivor for the pain and suffering she endured over the years.

During an interview with the Washington Jewish Week, Rabbi Yitzchok Breitowitz of Silver Spring's Woodside Synagogue stated that while Jay Jarvis submitted a guilty plea to some "very, very horrendous crimes, at the same time Judaism believes in the power of teshuvah."

Over the years Jay Jarvis received countless honors and awards including being named as: Who's Who in America; Arlington Chamber of Commerce 1988 & 1989 Outstanding Chairperson Award and 1993 Small Business of the Year; Virginia Jaycees 1982 Outstanding Chapter President; Outstanding Young Men of America 1981; George Mason University 1978 Service Award; Boy Scouts of America 1961 Eagle Scout Award.

Please note there are several people who go by the name of Jay Jarvis. The individual discussed on this page was in Washington, NC on September 20, 1944

Brotherhood is extremely proud to announce that at their Annual Meeting and Dinner this year, they will honor Jay Jarvis as Brotherhood Man of the Year. The dinner, to be held on Friday, June 17, will begin at 6:30 PM, and will cost just $10 per person. We hope that many in the temple, as well as Brotherhood, will join in this delicious dinner, important meeting and special honor to a special person.

Jay has been one of the most active members of the temple for a long time. He has been treasurer of the temple board, helping to put our financial house in order; president of Brotherhood, moving it forward in new and very active directions; and this year has been chair of the Buildings and Grounds Committee, bringing about many needed improvements such as the new roof, the parking lot re-striping and many other projects not so visible.

This year has been extraordinary in the service that Brotherhood has provided to the temple and its membership. They have carried out more than 33 b'nei mitzvah luncheons, wedding dinners and temple-wide events - including the New Year's Eve Dinner/Ball, sTorahtelling, a Passover Second Night Seder for 235 members and guests, a grand Purim Carnival, and a Country and Western Barbecue and Dance. At a dinner catered for the Council of Bishops of the United Methodist Church, they served 316 people in a once-in-a-lifetime historic event.

None of this would have been possible without the leadership of Catering Head Chef Jim Orlick and the many many members who volunteered their time and energy to make Beth El a true happening place. The names of those who have given their time are too numerous to mention here, but you know who you are and what a mitzvah you have brought about.

I do want to acknowledge a few who steadfastly perform above and beyond at literally every one of our events and caterings: Annette Kilian, Dana Arnold and Sue Rabin. And we are pleased to welcome Dana Kaufman as our newest Maitre' d.

Finally, we want to announce that you should be looking forward to even more from Brotherhood next year, including a unique Casino Night in the fall.

As we end this program year, we feel blessed by all of you who have partaken of our activities.

On Wednesday, Burke software sales executive (Name Removed) and a pal were in the middle of a night of chicken fajitas and chitchat when (Name Removed)'s friend lifted a crimson-filled wineglass to her lips.

One whiff of its contents and (Name Removed) -- who hadn't moved -- was gone.

To the early 1970s, to the basement of the brick-and-stone house next door to her Arlington childhood home. Once again, she was a skinny, trusting 8-year-old; with her was the kind, thirtysomething neighbor who played catch with her and asked for her help in creating a backyard pond.

A married, churchgoing insurance agent, he was the family friend who filled some of the blanks left by her absent father and prescription-drugaddicted mother.

Noticing a glass of pink liquid on his desk, the 8-year-old (Survivors Name Removed) asked, "What's in it?"

"Do you want to taste it?" he asked. Sticking out his tongue, he told her to do the same.

He rubbed their tongues together.

At that moment, "everything changed." More than three decades since that moment, remembering it "feels like last night," says (Name Removed), 41.

Last May, (Name Removed) told Arlington police about what happened in the basement, and about other abuses. Charged with three felony counts of "indecent liberties" with a child, the neighbor -- who is remarried and living in Annandale -- responded with an Alford plea, which stops short of admitting guilt but acknowledges that the prosecutor has enough evidence to convict if the case went to trial.

"It's the coward's way out," says Arlington police Detective Diane Guenther, an investigator in (Name Removed)'s case. "It's the same as guilty. But he doesn't have to say it."

Seated in a suburban restaurant, (Name Removed) has to say it. No one wants to believe that such things happen. Too many parents -- whose suddenly withdrawn daughters have started asking odd questions, whose unusually belligerent sons refuse to see a certain relative -- fail to ask, "What's going on?"

(Name Removed), who has wavy hair and a direct gaze, asked that her abuser not be identified by name in this column. "I don't want any money from him and didn't necessarily want him to go to jail," she says. "I wanted validation that what he did was wrong.

"And to protect other children."

October is National Crime Prevention Month. A quick scan of the National Crime Prevention Council's Web site offers worthwhile tips on starting a neighborhood watch program and avoiding identity theft -- but no immediate mention of an oft-preventable crime that happens right under our noses.

"People don't expect [child sex abuse] from someone they trust," Guenther says. So parents "have to notice changes in their children, listen to what they're saying, even if they're not saying it straight out."

Of course, some abuses escape the notice of even responsible caregivers. But as a child who was painfully aware that her family was on welfare, and whose haircuts were paid for by teachers who'd noticed her mother's inattention, she was "an easy victim," (Name Removed) says.

So her neighbor took her for long drives, placing her on his lap where he could "rub me inside my pants." When she expressed reluctance to accompany him, her mother would say, "But he does so much for us!" He even took her to be baptized.

By (Name Removed)'s teenage years, the abuses had stopped. A talented softball player, she won a partial scholarship to George Mason University -- and dropped out because "I was too depressed to focus on studies. I felt defective and damaged." Turning to computer sales, she eventually bought a three-bedroom townhouse and became "very successful -- on the outside."

But "I thought of him every day of my life," (Name Removed) says. "I was afraid of running into him. Wondering if there was someone else [he'd molested]."

Last year, she began calling Arlington police, asking questions about her abuser, about the statute of limitations on sex crimes (there is none). Finally, she explained her curiosity to detective Gregory Sloan, adding, "I don't want to ruin [her abuser's] life."

"Why not?" Sloan responded.

For the first time, (Name Removed) wondered, "Why am I protecting him?"

She needed evidence. Set up with a police phone, (Name Removed) began calling the neighbor. She told him of her hurt and anger; he was cagey, though he admitted, "I was very attracted to you." After several calls, (Name Removed) remembered the man had converted to Judaism.

It was Yom Kippur -- the holiday of atonement. "If he believed," she figured, "he had to come clean."

He did. "I want to say I'm sorry that we had an improper relationship," he told her. "I crossed the line in a very bad way."

On April 28, (Name Removed)'s abuser received a five-year "suspended imposition of sentence." Placed on supervised probation, he was required to submit to a sex offender evaluation, a polygraph and whatever treatment his evaluator required.

Two months later, (Name Removed) learned, a group in his synagogue -- six members of which had written character references for his court appearance -- voted him "Man of the Year."

Still, (Name Removed) feels "lucky." Few of the millions of child sex-abuse survivors -- experts say that's one in four children -- hear admissions of guilt from their tormentors. So "they're out there, still carrying their abuser's secret," says Pat Powers, (Name Removed)'s therapist at the Women's Center in Vienna.

No wonder facing her abuser in court "was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done," (Name Removed) admits. But as he was leaving the proceedings, she says, "our eyes locked."

"It felt good, not to be afraid."

(Name Removed) actually grins.

"I carried the baggage for both of us. . . ," she explains. "Now he can fear running into me."

Note: Teshuvah (forgiveness) actually invokves much more than not taking responsibility for ones actions, not apologizing and continuously lying and misleading people about the nature of the charges and plea agreement.

When the Beth El Hebrew Congregation's Brotherhood honored one its members last spring, the Alexandria synagogue was unaware of a significant fact about its honoree.

Just a few weeks earlier, he had submitted a guilty plea to sexual contact with a young child.

The crime occurred more than 30 years ago, but the victim of the crime had recently stepped forward to file charges. And while some in the synagogue knew that the award recipient had been jailed for a few days the previous fall, none knew why Æ primarily because the man in question had not told them the truth about the criminal charges against him.

Beth El, with legal consultation, has since drawn up rules preventing the man who will be identified as J in this article from such actions as entering the synagogue unaccompanied by an adult and being alone around children at the synagogue.

But supporters of J and others also argue that his years of good works in the synagogue and community demonstrate that he has already been repenting for his crime for decades.

Given that J is not a public figure and the crime took place 30 years ago, WJW has decided not to use his name.

"Washington Jewish Week takes seriously the Jewish law against lashon hara, evil speech. In this case, we believed that the story was not that a local Jewish man had entered a plea as a sex offender last spring, but how his synagogue is dealing with the issue, and what does it mean to do teshuvah, to repent," said WJW's editor, Debra Rubin.

The victim's name is used, as she has publicly identified herself in the past.

The Reform Beth El is not the only synagogue facing this kind of problem.

Although no charges have been filed, officials at B'nai Israel Congregation in Rockville also have been dealing with a sensitive situation. David Kaye, the rabbi who was caught in a Dateline NBC sting last month involving men seeking young boys on the Internet, is a regular at the Conservative shul's daily minyan.

Some in the congregation worry that puts him in too close contact with children, particularly with those in the synagogue's preschool, who may be arriving for early drop-off while Kaye is still in the building.

B'nai Israel's Rabbi Jonathan Schnitzer had no comment on how his synagogue has responded to concerns.

Beth El officials, however, spoke about how they dealt with their congregant.

J reached a plea agreement last April 28 in Arlington County Circuit Court after he was charged with three counts of indecent liberties with an 8- to 11-year-old child that took place 1972-1975. The charge of indecent liberties, according to the indictment, means the defendant "did knowingly and intentionally in any manner fondle or feel the sexual or genital part of a female child, or breast, under the age of 14 years and to whom he was not legally married." The victim, Burke resident (Survivors Name Removed), has said such acts took place numerous times over those years.

J's plea agreement states that "I do not admit that I committed the crime to which I am pleading guilty. However, I have talked to my attorney about what might happen if I went to trial and I have decided it is in my interest to accept the prosecutor's offer."

He was placed on three years' probation, during which he cannot have contact with the victim and must go through a "complete sex offender evaluation and follow through with any treatment as recommended by [his] probation officer."

At the end of that period, J will be allowed to withdraw his guilty plea to the charge of indecent liberties and "plead guilty to an amended charge of assault and battery," according to the agreement.

While synagogue leaders knew J had legal difficulties, Beth El Rabbi Brett Isserow said the congregant had told him and others that the crime he had been accused of involved an incident with an older, 16- or 17-year-old, teenager.

It was not until Isserow and other synagogue leaders received letters during the summer from (Name Removed), that they found out that J had been charged with indecent liberties with an 8- to 11-year-old girl. He was in his late 20s at the time, and was a neighbor of her family's. They also found out then that he had been placed on probation, despite his earlier assertion that the matter had been closed.

Isserow said J put Beth El into a "difficult situation." Yet, the rabbi also wondered what "you and I would do" if faced with a similar situation about a long-ago incident that would cause embarrassment.

Isserow said he believed that J had been doing teshuvah over many years for the crime.

For instance, the Brotherhood honored J for his extensive volunteer efforts over the years, in particular, his involvement in building a chapel in the woods behind the synagogue and his chairing of the buildings and grounds committee of the shul for a number of years.

"I don't believe it's up to us as a synagogue to punish the guy," the rabbi said, adding, though, that there is "no doubt" he must face consequences from the justice system. He also emphasized that "the real bottom line" of repentance is not repeating the same behavior, and there is no evidence J has done so.

A number of other rabbis said living a good life after one's transgressions is an important part of the teshuvah process, but also emphasized that acknowledging one's crime and making restitution to the victim is an essential part of truly repenting for one's bad behavior.

Rabbis interviewed agreed to speak about the principles at issue in this case, since they were not familiar with the specifics of the matter.

Rabbi Yitzchok Breitowitz of Silver Spring's Woodside Synagogue noted that while J submitted a guilty plea to some "very, very horrendous crimes, at the same time Judaism believes in the power of teshuvah."

While "we don't know a person's heart," if someone has "repudiated and rejected that type of life" and "tried to make amends," then "that is certainly something in his favor," said the Orthodox Breitowitz, who is also a law professor at the University of Maryland.

Breitowitz pointed to a talmudic passage that states that one is not allowed to remind a person of past transgressions if that individual has made teshuvah for them.

But the rabbi also noted the "damage cannot totally be undone," and that teshuvah "does require restitution to the victim."

That's a point that Conservative Rabbi Mark Borovitz of the Los Angeles-based Beit T'Shuvah emphasized as well. A convicted criminal who has since repented, he has worked with those suffering from addictions for 17 years.

Borovitz said that while one can "never make it like it never happened," it is important for the perpetrator to "make the other person as whole as possible."

Borovitz, as did Breitowitz, also acknowledged that the injured party has "to be open to being satisfied."

In Judaism, someone wishing for forgiveness must make three "good-faith attempts," said Rabbi Leila Gal Berner of Kol Ami Northern Virginia Reconstructionist Community and the founding director of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College's Center for Jewish Ethics.

If after three times, the victim is "still unable to say 'I forgive,' " then the perpetrator "can let go."

But, as Rabbi Jacob Halpern of Washington's graduate program in Jewish education said, "he has to really admit" his wrongdoing, regret it and "make the real decision you're not going to do it" again.

Berner stressed the same, noting that "nonrepetition of the act" is a major criteria of doing true teshuvah.

Both J's lawyer, Peter Greenspun, and J's wife, A, say that J has lived an exemplary life during the past three decades that more than makes up for his past transgressions.

Greenspun emphasized that while J was prepared to fight the charges, the defendant accepted the plea agreement because it was in the best interests of his family and Beth El Hebrew Congregation not to go through a trial.

J's wife said she encouraged her husband to take the plea deal because she did not want to risk having him behind bars for their 11-year-old son's bar mitzvah celebration.

She did not discuss the details of the accusations against her husband, except to say that it had been "extremely exaggerated over the years," but said he had been "honest about his past" with her and told her about his "improper conduct" before they were married.

He converted to Judaism in 1990 and the couple has been married for more than a decade.

"He has atoned many, many times over," she said about her husband, adding that "he is a champion of the rights of children."

"People do change, and this individual has changed," she said.

Ted Exstein, current president of the temple's brotherhood, said he didn't know anything about J's situation until Washington Post columnist Donna Britt wrote an Oct. 7 article about (Name Removed), and noted that a local synagogue group had honored him. That article did not identify the synagogue or J by name, but a fellow congregant told him the article was referring to Beth El.

Exstein believes the Brotherhood would have "exercised a little bit more discretion" if they had known about the charges against J at the time it was voting for the award, but added that "hindsight is 20/20" and that "we can't turn back the clock."

Steve Rabin, the president of the Brotherhood when the award was voted on early this year, also said it was "hard to go back in time."

Yet with his new knowledge, he said that J "may not have been pushed for that award."

Rabin said, though, that members of the Brotherhood rarely talked about their jobs or personal lives at meetings and events.

Synagogue president John Jankowski said he didn't ask J's wife about the charges when he and his wife were asked to write a letter vouching for J's character and asserting that he would not be a flight risk if allowed out of jail on bail.

Jankowski said he still stands behind that letter "100 percent," noting that he simply asserted what he knew about J and his family from the years they had been friends.

Isserow said there were no plans to take the award away from J, but synagogue president John Jankowski said he had already begun to form a task force to improve communication at Beth El between groups like the Brotherhood and Sisterhood, and the executive board.

Even though no one at the synagogue was aware of the details of the crime, Jankowski noted that if others in the synagogue had known that J was being considered for the Brotherhood award, someone might have recommended that it "wasn't in the Brotherhood's best interest" to select him for the honor considering his legal difficulties.

It is unclear how many people at Beth El know about J's plea agreement. Jankowski said that J had sent an e-mail to about 80 members of the synagogue's leadership "after he learned a WJW article was in the works" detailing the situation. Jankowski said he was somewhat surprised that in the more than a week since that note went out, he has not heard any reaction from synagogue members to the news.

But while some believe that J is atoning for his sins, victim (Name Removed) disagrees.

She pointed out that two years ago, she wrote a letter to him about what happened and did not receive a response. Then last year, just a few days before Yom Kippur, she called J, with the police listening in.

J admitted, she said, to an "improper relationship" with her, but "tried very hard to dodge the question" and said a psychiatrist told him it happened because he was in a "bad marriage" at the time. He was arrested soon after that call.

She said that J's lying about the charges against him to others in the synagogue demonstrates that he has not truly owned up to what he did.

Furthermore, he "never truly said he was sorry" in their phone call, (Name Removed) said.

"Yes, I would forgive him," (Name Removed) said. "I do believe people deserve to be forgiven."

My name is Vicki Polin. I am the Executive Director of The Awareness Center, Inc. We are the international Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse and Assault.

I am writing you today since I was made aware of the case of Jay Jarvis today. I wanted to commend you and your synogogue on the actions you have taken in monitoring Jay Jarvis when he enters your synogogue, yet It has come to my attention that your brotherhood voted Mr. Jarvis as "the man of the year". According to the articles I've read this occured a few weeks after Jarvis pled guilty to having sexual contact with a child.

Please Note: Teshuvah (forgiveness) actually invokes much more than not taking responsibility for ones actions, not apologizing and continuously lying and misleading people about the nature of the charges and plea agreement.

It is vitally important to realize that it is not uncommon for crimes of the sexual nature to go unreported for years. You can learn more about this by visiting the following three sites:

http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/offendersarticles.html

http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/statistics.html

http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/offenders.html

The Awareness Center is asking that your congregation rescind the award, and monies collected from the annual meeting and dinner be donated to his survivor for the pain and suffering she endured over the years.

I also wanted to make sure you are aware that there is a web page up on our site with information regarding Mr. Jarvis. It can be viewed at:

It has been brought to my attention that we have neglected to put a web page up on Rabbi Arnold Fink of Beth El Hebrew Congregation in Alexandria, VA.

It is pretty scary to think of the mind set that goes behind a group of intellegent individuals who protect alleged and convicted sex offenders, verses protecting victim/survivors of sexual violence. It seems that Beth El Hebrew Congregation in Alexandria, VA needs help in understanding the ramifications of the actions they have been taking. Things need to change, and perhaps the new leadership there will make the neccessary changes.

Jay Jarvis’s professional career began with Massachusetts Maul Life Insurance Company in 1974 and fifteen years later became President of The Personnel Department, Inc., a company that worked to provide employers with employee benefits. Upon the closing of that firm, Jay Jarvis began his own consulting company, Jarvis Consulting, Ltd. in 2002, advising employers on employee benefits, as well as providing individuals with life and health insurance products.

Experienced in management and marketing of benefits and insurance administration and related products. Worked with large employers groups (100+ employees) located in St Louis, MO; Paterson, NJ; Arlington, VA; Chicago, IL; Los Angeles, CA. Worked with a national trade association with over 400 member companies and more than 3,000 employees and with Northern Virginia Group Health Alliance. The Alliance provided benefits to members of eleven chambers of commerce with over 7,000 employers and more than 200,000 employees.

FAMILY

Jay Jarvis is married Audrey Liebross in July, 1991 with many their two sons [Name Removed) Jarvis III and Name Removed] from previous marriages participating. (NAME REMOVED) was born to Audrey and Jay in 1994. Both Audrey Liebross and Jay Jarvis are active in civic and religious activities working for Tikkun Olam (repairing the world.)

Jay Jarvis was born in Washington, NC on September 20, 1944 to Elbert Jarvis, Sr. and Laura Lilley Jarvis. He graduated from Washington High School in 1962 and served our country in the US Coast Guard until 1966. Jay Jarvis started his college education at East Carolina University dropping out of college and going to work for a Washington, DC company. He returned to college and graduated from Northern Virginia Community College in 1972 and George Mason University in 1974. While at George Mason he served as the President of the Student Government.

Some of the information on The Awareness Center's web pages may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc.

We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.

For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml . If you wish to use copyrighted material from this update for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

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Survivors ARE Heroes!

The Awareness Center believes ALL survivors of sex crimes should be given yellow ribbons to wear proudly.

Survivors of sexual violence (as adults and/or as a child) are just as deserving of a yellow ribbon as the men and women of our armed forces, who have been held captive as hostages or prisoners of war.

Survivors of sexual violence have been forced to learn how to survive, being held captive not by foreigners, but mostly by their own family members, teachers, camp counselors, coaches babysitters, rabbis, cantors or other trusted authority figures.

For these reasons ALL survivors of sexual violence should be seen as heroes!