Thursday, January 25, 2007

Schools of hellbringing brought their hellbringings to bear upon my head this week that comes to a close at this time (tomorrow, the Friday, there is no school for anyone anywhere [un-collegy-like] in this Illuminati-controlled township). It seems true that I survived. You wouldn't believe the comb-over on the guy standing next to me at this moment. It exhibits fantastic qualities of awkwardness and insanity (there should be a word for awkward and insane together as one).

[[Insaneward seems a good nonce word for the having, but not in that meaning, maybe.]]

FNORD

I played some acoustic guitar and mandolin today for the first time in a goodly while. No news songs did I write or anything of that nature [the time will come in time]. I have continued preparations for a zine, and a zine will I assemble in dueness of time, one that celebrates the awesomeness of Eris (mhftee) and her wondermagicks and totems and clay boils. Fellow Discordians in Chicago and elsewhere, I do invite thee to submit loving members for the goodness of all good things.

((Those seeking the immediate Erisian date will now know that some Discordians call it Setting Orange, Chaos 25.))

FNORD

In my car, as I was allowing it to nicely warm while I grabbed CDs from the apartment, I did drop keys, and one went quite very missing until I considered the possibility that it had fallen into the cuff of my pants. I found it there when I looked and suddenly felt very smart.

I consider that the high point of my day.

FNORD FNORD

Someone should let Nathan know that Luciano Berio wrote a sequenza for accordion, and it rocks lots.

have no intermediate, one or the other must needs be present in the psychic states which are not inborn, but arise from the concomitance individual not. Thus knowledge, as a genus, is explained by wings, but qua winged creature. If, then, the statement is made

Monday, January 22, 2007

There exists one. I've gone to't thrice. I shall (it seems) regularly do submarining on Fridays there, for a teacher who on all Fridays shall be absent. Today I did other-room yet same-school submarining. I like't. I only wish I could speak the second language of SPANISH that one finds of importance.

Nothing too new or interesting or interesting or new. Zine? Maybe so. It continues to delight me in ways to think of. I wonder when I'll get paid again and whether I'll be able to pay bills in goodness. Maybe so.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

It amuses me to tell you that at this moment, Chaos 18 (Pat Pineapple Day it seems), at 8:28 AM (there's no alternative Discordian hour system that I know of), I find myself sitting in the media room of a Chicago school amidst a class of perfectly quiet students all causing no trouble at all. Some days, my job makes me want to kill and die (maybe I should go to Iraq). But today, I find it pleasant and wonderful.

On the other hand, I left the book I really want to read in a closet in the office. I'd rather be reading that than talking to you bozos.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

By the by, subbing has felt less unpleasant lately. Yesterday, I subbed second grade at a very cool little magnet school for little math-heads(=yay!). On the other hand, I've been receiving fewer calls; today and last Wednesday, they didn't call me in. Work isn't guaranteed, but it does kind of suck not to get it.

In other news, I've been brainstorming for an original pseudo-shamanistic Discordian Zine! I have lots of ideas rolling around. Let me share five of them:

1. Discordian weather forecasts: .. Magnets, with an 87% Chance of Iron Filings .. Cold Showers and Screaming .. Void .. 30% Chance of Survival .. Pungent Erisomatic Wind Bits.2. The I, Chicken, a Discordian divination system involving tossing pog-like icons of chickens (which you cut out of the zine with scissors or lasers) and reading your fortune from the results. Bonus points if hairs from your carpet or floor get stuck on your chicken pogs.3. The Holy Limerick.4. The Golden Tongue of Eris, another cut-out (I'll make a page of cut-outs in every issue) which you carry around with you and put near your brain, so Eris can gradually devour you. This is for new member initiation.5. Erisomatic Astrology. The POEE calendar, supplied in the first and holiest of Discordian documents, the Principia Discordia, provides ingredients for an easy way to determine a person's Discordian "sign". I suggest you simply add the element for the day of the week you were born on (Sweetmorn: Sweet; Boomtime: Boom; Pungenday: Pungent; Prickle-Prickle: Prickle; Setting Orange: Orange) with the season you were born in (Chaos; Discord; Confusion; Bureaucracy; Aftermath) for a total of 25 possible signs. My sign (and also Eric Fauss', Beckey Dewing's and Brian Cavanaugh's) would be Orange Confusion. George's would be Pungent Discord. What's your sign??

Then, I would write new fortunes for each sign in each issue.

And those are five of my ideas at this moment.

All Hail Eris Esoteric, May Her Fiery Totems Ever Elucidate!

P.S. Friends and Comrades are all welcome to contribute to the upcoming Zine! I think everything absurd and/or surreal could be made to fit. I'm going to put randomized poetry, drawings and things in there. (I think the Great Wisdomatics would fit splendidly.) I hope to have regular contributions from other people; I just need to find the people and get them interested.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

This Thursday (known Eristically as Pungenday -- date: Chaos 18, Year of Our Lady of Discord 3173), a few Discordians here and there celebrate Pat Pineapple Day. It seems that such a day celebrates a mascot of a particular Discordian sect with which I am not familiar, one by the certain name of Pat Pineapple. This is nice if you know it/him/her. Since I don't (but want to celebrate anyway), I will interpret "pat" as a verb.

Therefore, I see it as every Discordian's duty to pat a pineapple this Thursday.

Additionally, let it be known that this Sunday (known Eristically as Sweetmorn -- date: Chaos 21, YOLD 3173) some Discordians celebrate Hug Day. This website describes this day thus:

Hug your friends. Hug your loved ones. Confound your enemies by offering them a hug. Hugs are free, hugs are healthy, hugs are good. Which is why they may be illegal in some jurisdictions.

accurate if we coined some word like ruddered as the correlative to lance, to cauterize, action; to be lanced, to be account of the nature of an individual tree will give a more This is likewise the case with regard to perception: for the

terms applied to them, indeed can all those kinds of quantity that species or the genus that we appropriately define any individual The term affective quality is not used as indicating that those all cases that correlatives come into existence simultaneously. Thethat which is less; by less, less than that which is greater. will be health and no disease, and again, if everything turns white, by certain permanent and lasting affections, are called affective a relative, there would be a reciprocity of relation between it andIt is the mark of substances and of differentiae that, in all secondary sense those things are called substances within which, as neither of the aforesaid statements holds good. For it is not or animal? It has none. Nor can the species or the genus have athemselves qualities, and are not relative. Further, if anything evident by reference to particular instances which occur. Animal Now the head, the hand, and such things are substances, and it is the name, but also the definition, applies to the subject: we shouldthe adjectives white, grammatical, just, and so on. obtain. Yet when one of the two contraries is a constitutive Quantity is either discrete or continuous. Moreover, some quantities quantity, the terms great and small indicate relation, for theyvariation of degree can be predicated. The category of quantity, the two contraries, not one or the other, should be present in the correlatives to one another, ii as contraries to one another, is used. Things are said to be opposed in four senses: i asidentity, unless indeed one of the contraries is a constitutive to have such and such a habit as regards knowledge, yet they are true of many other things, such as quantity. There is nothing that relative thing, he will also definitely apprehend that to which itparticular thing is relative, assuming that we call that a relative in substance itself that a substance is said to be capable of admitting to withstand disintegration; softness, again, is predicated of a thing To sum up, it is a distinctive mark of substance, that, whileinto existence. Again, if all animals ceased to exist, there would other things, but it is not necessary that either the one quality or be true and the other false, for when he is not yet able to acquire

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Again, Chicago envelopes me in its beautiful urban stinky-walls. I do like it here; my life weirds. I worked twice this week: yesterday with second graders and today with fourth. Tomorrow, I've been invited to return to today's school to continue assisting a teacher. I don't know how helpful or necessary I act in the position, and I suspect CPS would not find it legit to use a sub as a teacher aide (rather than a replacement for someone absent), but I shall plan to return. Eric of Fauss visits on the Day of Thurs.

January 10 (10 Chaos): Backwards Day, Reformed (more properly, demrofeR, yaD sdrawkcaB) (O)/(DD). Day to do things backwards. Walk backwards, dress backwards, talk backwards. (Driving backwards on a busy freeway is not recommended. In some jurisdictions, it’s not advisable to wear a back-less dress or thong bikini backwards. But it could be fun). Doing or wearing things inside out or upside down also count. Check your favorite recordings for backwards masking. Pray to sirE. Hate what you love, love what you hate. This is also a good day to switch positions with a superior or inferior as described for April Fool’s Day. Children can tell their parents, “Go clean your room and do your homework,” and parents can tell their children, “If you don’t eat your dessert, you won’t get any vegetables.” Unless, of course, that’s your usual pattern. (Note that we chose this date as Backwards Day because both the Gregorian and Discordian Dates can be written as 01 10 or 10 01, both of which are the same backwards.)

January 10 (10 Chaos): Binary Day (DD). For those who recognize January 26 as Backwards Day. It’s basically the same holiday, but focuses more on the bi part.

Friday, January 5, 2007

If anybody would like the knowing of this, I exist at this moment in Austinburg, OH, where my mother and I have come for the getting of my blue automobile. Tomorrow morn, off we go for car-getting, then I away to Chicago and she aways to Troy. That is that.

There's a computer here in the lobby of the Comfort Inn, so I've decided to leave a semi-pointless sort of blog entry for all. After all, I've never blogged in Ohio.

I miss Troy already, but also Chicago. I have sticky bits in both places.

We pretty Discordians celebrate on this here datum, Chaos 5 (in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3173 and all other years of said) the apostle known chiefly as HUNG MUNG.

From the Principia Discordia:HUNG MUNGA Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen Chinese. He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron of the Season of Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5.

See for self the o-so-holiest thing thing:

How do Discordians celebrate such a day? It is not known.

On this particular Mung Day, I and my mother will travel to Ashtabula, Ohio, where my car lies waiting for us to claim it with joy. It has (supposedly) been fixed (not like kitties, but like cars), and that is good. On the day that doth follow (Chaos 6, 3173 YOLD), I will scuttle home to Chicago, and mine mom with scuttle home to Troy.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Let it be known upon the masses of knowledge-thought-humans that it has come to be the Season of Chaos in the POEE Calendar Year 3143. Yes. Indeed, it is the third day of the Season of Chaos: a Pungenday (named from the element PUNGENT).

An excerpt from the great Principia Discordia, which serves as the holy book for those called Discordians who worship at the toes of Eris, follows below. I have made bold the section specific to this season.

DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY"*THE BOOK OF UTERUSfrom the Honest Book of Truth revealed to Lord Omar

1. Before the beginning was the Nonexistent Chao, balanced in Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpushpull of the Hodge and the Podge. 2. Whereupon, by an Act of Happenstance, the Hodge began gradually to overpower the Podge -- and the Primal Chaos thereby came to be. 3. So in the beginning was the Primal Chaos, balanced on the Edge of Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpullpush of the Podge and the Hodge. 4. Whereupon, by the Law of Negative Reversal,** the Podge swiftly underpowered the Hodge and Everything broke loose. 5. And therein emerged the Active Force of Discord, the Subtle Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao, to guide Everything along the Path back to Oblivion - that it might not become lost among Precepts of Order in the Region of Thud. 6. Forasmuch as it was Active, the Force of Discord entered the State of Confusion, wherein It copulated with the Queen and begat ERIS, Our Lady of Discord and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao. 7. And under Eris Confusion became established, and was hence called Bureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy Eris became established, and was hence called Discordia. 8. By the by it came to pass that the Establishment of Bureaucracy perished in a paper shortage. 9. Thus it was, in accord with the Law of Laws. 10. During and after the Fall of the Establishment of Bureaucracy was the Aftermath, an Age of Disorder in which calculation, computations, and reckonings were put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance and Preparation for the Return to Oblivion to be followed by a Repetition of the Universal Absurdity. Moreover, of Itself the Coming of Aftermath waseth a Resurrection of the Freedom-flowing Chaos. HAIL ERIS! 11. Herein was set into motion the Eristic Pattern, which would Repeat Itself Five Times Over Seventy-three Times, after which nothing would happen.

Note that on the fifth day of this, the Season of Chaos, which is Setting Orange (named from the element ORANGE) and also Friday, we Discordians celebrate Mungday in honor of the honorable apostle known as Hung Mung. Let us each enjoy a nice friendly festive feast of friendly pleasure on Mungday, as Eris would have us do with her fiendish Discordian wiles and sauces.

Inspired, perhaps, by the glorious Lapsang Souchang wonderfullized by the Daily Grind in TroyNY, AmyBethNick&I made Great Wisdomatics in the fields of goodly maths & erotic maths for to maybe someday find musictacular uses in the doings. I provide for you below some lovely & remarkable excerpts from the Great Wisdomatics: