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Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Elections Are A Lot Like Poker, Just Ask Kenny Rogers

This weekend I will be leaving Sydney. I have voted already at a pre-polling booth in Sydney's Bondi Junction and I can't wait to be out of here for election day. Australians are voting between two forms of government which are idealogically so close to the median voter that each candidate has to change his opinion on hot topical matters as frequently as he must change his underwear. The only added value we might achieve from a Liberal government is that there seems to be more 'team play' and less of a political Chernobyl that has been occurring inside the Labor party.

Aesthetically, if we were to vote with our eyes, we would probably be more inclined to look towards Mr Abbott. He wears navy power suits in twill wools, light blue ties, crisp white shirts and he cuts a lithe figure in a suit. There is no sloppy fat, no jowls, no limping shoulders. If anything, this is a strong image to portray the nation. Someone fit, someone active, someone ready to take up the fight. It remains to be seen as to whether he will deliver but certainly, if we were voting sartorially, we would lean towards Abbott. What I am hoping for, though, is that one day we might find ourselves with a Harry Truman styled candidate that's not afraid of a bow tie and perhaps pastel suits and seersucker in summer. It may mean, unfortunately for Australians, that I will have to enter politics.

So, I will be spending the election weekend playing poker with friends in the countryside. And as I dust off my Geoffrey Parker game set I am reminded of how vastly similar the game of poker is to the election. Just like a game of poker, we saw Mr Rudd come out after decapitating Julia Gillard with a look on his face like he had a full bag of chips. Then after a couple of weeks in full swing he hit a muddy patch and you could see half the chips spill out of his bag and then a look came over him like he was going to cry and get nasty. Then Mr Abbott walked around like he was a confident little peacock that had just found where Mr Rudd had dropped all his chips. He then went from being scared to being a very happy little chappy until he made a remark about Fiona Scott being 'sexy' and you could feel at that point he lost a very big hand indeed. But he hadn't lost all his chips, which was certainly how I felt watching Kevin Rudd last night on QandA.