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Let's talk about drugs, baby

joshofalltradesYOU get a hellbat! YOU get a hellbat!Everybody gets a hellbat!Registered Userregular

As ongoing treatment for my accumulating diagnoses of accumulating neuroses, I am on drugs every day. This is a happy safe place to share what drugs you are on, have taken in the past, and are afraid of getting on. Tell us what worked and what failed miserably. Warn us away from bad pharmaceuticals and steer us towards the good alternatives.

Even though I've been diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder, I have never been medicated for it. The other stuff I'm taking right now is 40 mg Celexa for major depression and OCPD, and .5 mg Lorazepam twice a day and two at bedtime for anxiety. I've been kind of leery lately because I'm still having thoughts I shouldn't be having, and while the Lorazepam helps with anxiety, I can't get a wink of sleep without it now. Prior to Lorazepam I was on Clonazepam and I don't feel like I can recommend that. It felt like I was on horse tranquilizers all day long; I would sleep like Rip Van Fucking Winkle and when I wasn't sleeping I was acting like a gat damn weirdo.

Lately the pain has been getting worse and worse. For years now I've maintained and it's only now that I'm seriously considering going back on narcotics. I know if I do I'll end up right where I was before, and frankly I'd rather be dead.

Maybe I'm just tired of fighting and want to not care anymore. I dunno.

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joshofalltradesYOU get a hellbat! YOU get a hellbat!Everybody gets a hellbat!Registered Userregular

Lately the pain has been getting worse and worse. For years now I've maintained and it's only now that I'm seriously considering going back on narcotics. I know if I do I'll end up right where I was before, and frankly I'd rather be dead.

Maybe I'm just tired of fighting and want to not care anymore. I dunno.

Stale, keep fighting the good fight. Your leaking bodily fluids are the oil that makes SE++ run like a well-maintained machine.

when I don't take my adderall I have a really huge surge of creativity

like last night when I was just spitting out poems

but I also eat like a starving lion and I'm a social disaster

*shrug*

I feel like this would be an improvement over this weird limbo I'm in, where I get tiny little glimpses into how creative I can be, but it's overshadowed by my complete lack of desire to sit down and actually work on something for more than 10 minutes.