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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Did you know you can tell the state of a baller's game just by the kind of salute they offer the fans? Let me explain.

First up: Mikhail Youzhny. He escaped an epic 5-set battle in the Aussie Open first round against Richard Gasquet after having match points against him then walloped Jan Hajek in three swift sets. But I wouldn't need to know all that stuff. Why? I could just examine his salute! Take a look at his photo above:

A) Tennis racquet - His racquet is resting nicely on his noggin in a straight line. This signals someone who's feeling balanced and steady with his energy flowing nicely.

B) Hands - One of Misha's hands is holding the racquet firmly while the other hand is performing a strong salute. These actions speak to a solid work ethic and deep discipline. Good job.

C) Face - The Russian eyes are intense and focused and he's smiling because he knows all that hard work and sacrifice is paying off at a major. Booyah!

Now, let's take a look at Ana Ivanovic shall we?

As we all know poor NaturAna was upset (and I use that term VERY loosely here) at the Aussie Open yesterday by Gisela Dulko and hasn't made it past the fourth round at a major in her last six tries. Boo. But even if I didn't know all that info, I could just look at her salute to know how her game was going:

A) Tennis racquet - MESS. Yonex is completely slipping off her head. In fact, I don't think it's even touching that raven hair. Now this is a classic sign of imbalance with a little impatience thrown in for good measure. Is she even trying???

B) Hands - I mean, REALLY. The hands aren't even being allowed to do their job because righty needs to catch the falling racquet while lefty is keeping her head from exploding. Geez.

C) Face - It seems her eyes are stunned while her mouth is probably saying something I shouldn't repeat here (in Serbian no doubt.) A girl's gotta have her secrets I suppose, though we're not fooled. It's time to take baby to therapy.

So next time you miss a match, just take a peek at the pix. They really ARE worth a thousand words. Or something like that.

I kept waiting for Ana to use those man hands to smash the racket and curse out the chair umpire in yesterday's match. I would love to see Ana blow up on a umpire one of these days. That would be hilarious.