BREAKING: Kim Kardashian Filing For Divorce From Kris Humphries

Saturday night, Kim Kardashian told People magazine that, “That no matter what we do, there’s going to be rumors,” when asked why she wasn’t with him for her Halloween party or basically ever. Turns out that meant she already had divorce papers together and is filing them this morning, according to TMZ:

We’re told even though the marriage was short, she will not seek an annulment. It’s a garden variety divorce, in which Kim cites “irreconcilable differences.”
We’re told the date of separation is listed as today, Oct. 31, 2011.

And why not? The E! special just aired and she already banked close to $20 million for a couple of hours of pretending to plan a wedding. People don’t know how hard it is to keep up the facade of fake marriage for two whole months. It’s a miracle she survived.

Adding… If you still believe a single thing that happens on these hairbags’ shows is real, bullets are food now. Superman wanted me to tell you that, and it seemed really important. You could tell by the way his cape was all bunched up.