Justin Verlander threw a no-hitter on Saturday, said the guy who doesn’t write a roundup on Sunday which makes Monday’s lead-in a little dated. BTW, I hear The Godfather is a good movie, you should check it out! And invest in Microsoft! Verlander seems to get little respect as a number one starter, but if I owned him, you’d have to pry him from my cold, dead, well-manicured fingers. Gives you 200 Ks, a mid-3 ERA and a killer smile. Smiles are totally underrated. You can’t put a price on those…Unless you’re a dentist. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Austin Jackson – 7 for his last 13. I’m not a fan in the big picture, but the small picture says if he’s going to start hitting, there’s no reason to turn your nose up at him unless the smell of a hot hitter repulses you.

Yovani Gallardo – In 8 innings, threw a one-hitter on Saturday. To misquote Positive K, Gallardo’s a headache, now he’s an aspirin. Hopefully, he’s turned a corner this time and not just a U-turn back to crap.

Jason Bourgeois – To the DL. That was a fun SAGNOF ride, right? Haven’t been that excited about a SAGNOF’er since Alex Sanchez stole 52 bases in 2003 with nothing but a cheap pair of Keds and steroids.

Frank Francisco – John Farrell, who is supposedly the Blue Jays manager, said Francisco is the primary closer. If you mix a primary closer with a primary set-up man, it makes the color blue.

Jose Bautista – Returned and hit a homer. At season’s end, Bautista will meet in front of a congressional committee for making me look bad.

Vicente Padilla – 1 IP, 1 ER as he secured his 2nd save but he’s already showing signs of the rough waters that once sank Padilla’s flotilla. I’d continue to hold Kuo and Jansen, in the non-sexual way.

Andre Ethier – Finally went hitless on Saturday, but returned with a 2-for-4, home run day on Sunday. Alyssa Milano gave him a hand for three straight minutes.

Justin Masterson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, now has a 2.11 ERA. Yeah, not sure why he shouldn’t be owned in all leagues for right now.

Roger Bernadina – He’s back! Ooh, hold on, someone’s knocking on my door. “Hey, it’s Excitement For Bernadina here. I just moved into the building and wanted to say I appreciate you still using an exclamation mark when saying Bernadina’s back. Us Excitement For Bernadina’s have to stick together. By the way, did you see a package from Omaha Steaks by my door? It’s missing.” Riggleman, who’s not related to Jigga man, says Bernadina will play every day. All Bernadina needs to do is hit and he’ll block Ankiel upon his return.

Anibal Sanchez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 11 Ks. Their Ks are not the same, but Anibal reminds me of Buehrle. You get nothing, you get a near perfect game. You don’t get nothing, you get nowhere near a perfect game, triple negatives be damned.

Hanley Ramirez – Edwin Rodriguez, who’s currently posing as the Marlins manager, had a terrific quote that should be inspiring to Marlin players and fans alike. He said, “(Hanley) will stay there in the third hole until we get another option. There are not too many options.” It’s not easy to insult your entire team while offering no hope. He’s the Knute Rockne of baseball managers. One day his Cooperstown plaque will read, “When Edwin Rodriguez faced adversity, he threw up his hands and offered no solutions. Instead, he passive-aggressively blamed others. It’s actually a little weird that he’s in Cooperstown with a losing record over a two-year span of coaching.”

Gaby Sanchez – 4-for-4 with his 5th homer as he bats .328. Too bad he’s apparently not capable of the three hole.

Nelson Cruz – To the DL. Hey, at least he got his first DL stint out of the way. Now he only has three more stints to go.

Chris Davis – Will see more playing time with Nelson Cruz on the DL. Bill James has to have his inseam taken out.

Julio Borbon – 4 steals in his last six games. Could be a quick fill-in for those that lost Bourgeois, which also led to the fall of the Soviet Union.

Erik Bedard – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks. Looks like vintage Bedard, which means he’ll be injured any day now, but he should still be owned while we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop (and injure him).

Sam Fuld – 1-for-5, now batting .248. I actually meant to include him in Friday’s Sell, but shizz got away from me. Potatoes to chips, Fuld looks done-zo.

Pedro Alvarez – Won’t need a trip to the DL…But will need 15 days on your bench while he recovers. Just when you thought Alvarez couldn’t make you hate him anymore, he goes and gets hurt but not put on the DL. Stop eating red velvet cupcakes and play baseball, you douchetard!

James McDonald – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks. Now has only 2 earned runs in his last 18 innings, 16 Ks to 7 BBs while lowering his ERA from 10.13 to 5.65. Looking like that preseason sleeper that we thought he’d be. And by we, I mean me and the rest of my graduating class from the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston.

Kendrys Morales – Going to Colorado for a 2nd opinion on his ankle. Gotta love how major league teams conduct business. He’s being paid three million this year, yet it took months of him being unable to run to seek a 2nd opinion. What’s he got, Medicare?

Chris Narveson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks. I’ve gone hot and cold on Chris Narveson, which sounds like the Christian name for The Noid and is beginning to act like it. Just hard to get confident about a guy who gets hit by the Astros and pitches fine vs. decent teams.

Tyson Ross – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks. Team ERA of 2.69 and that’s with their crizzappy closer. Get on board with all the Oakland A’ces, they’re your American League hodgepadres.

Derek Jeter – 4-for-6, 2 homers and a steal. Some may view this as Jeter is finally coming alive. I thought that too until I stroked my mustache a few times. This is Jeter’s owners opportunity to finally sell him for value. This is one game. Even if Cap’n Jeets comes alive for a week or two, he’s still not going to return to the player he once was. Mustache, “You’re welcome.”

Curtis Granderson – 3-for-4, three runs, two RBIs, one home run, zero idea what A-Rod sees in girls with manly faces.

Chris Young – Headed to the DL with shoulder tightness. I didn’t even know giraffes had shoulders.

In my 20-team roto league I need a fifth starter thanks to Liriano’s unusual ability to be neither startable, tradable, nor droppable. How would you rank the following options? And are any far and away better or worse than the others? I mean, are they all roughly in the same tier to use the terminology from you pre-season rankings?

Verlander was Supreme on Saturday, so good that there were very few Temptations for the Blue Jays hitters. It’s little Wonder they love him in Detroit and that the Tigers are no Easybeats.

He was then Darin’ enough to celebrate the feat with a couple of boat trips on the lake and the Commodores came along for the ride.

The weather in Detroit being what it is, you can sometimes get Four Seasons in one day and unfortunately there was a storm and they broke down. It was pretty Smokey in the engine room and miracle of Miracles, no one was hurt. Just as well DeBarge was there to tow them home.

Jason Bourgeois started at 2B on Saturday. when he gets back maybe he can take over more at 2B for Bill Hall. that would give him even more value. he came up through the minors at 2B.
feels weird owning both Bourgeois and Bourjos. would be a weird OF in baseball that included those 2 along with Bourn.

Hi Grey and anyone else who’d like to weigh in — Would you trade Liriano + Padilla for either Kuroda or Tim Hudson? This is in a 20-team roto league, and I should be OK on SVs with Putz and Melancon (and Broxton on the DL).

@Enrique: that’s selling pretty low on liriano. hard to advocate a trade where you are giving up the best talent and it’s not even close, even if that talented player has underperformed and is having his start pushed back.

@Billy: depends on how high you are on ellsbury. personally, he’s no different than gardner or tabata or borbon to me, so i wouldn’t trade a break out SP like masterson for him. the rest of the deal is even enough that it wouldn’t sway me (plus i like moreland as much as delmon young so there’s that)

Im starting to get the feeling that Smoak sorta’ blows his loads every time he faces the Rangers,and playing in that giant ballpark,while hitting in that sad,anemic lineup is like playing w/ a couple of anvils tied around his neck,but Bourjos’ SB upside is the one offensive stat I DONT need.So what do you think?

Thanks for attempting to express our growing hatred for Alvarez. The latest is that he’s been able to take batting practice and field some grounders. Which really helped my damn stats this weekend from an empty 3B slot. Unfortunately as is also reported, “running remains an issue”. Tough reading shizz like that. I always thought that I could at least DH for the Yankees, but hitting has remained an issue for me. Douchetard indeed.

@Wake Up: Why would you condone dropping Madson (who has gone 3 for 3 in saves chances without giving up a run)? Contrares isn’t even throwing yet and who knows what will happen when he’s back if Madson is still lighting it up. Seems silly to me.

@Wake Up: yeah his peripherals are much more in line with his 2009 season than his 2010 season. but damn, it’s hard looking at that sub-.200 avg and little power sitting at 3B everyday with no recourse. especially with zimmerman and panda and longoria and others all hurt or just back from injury and alvarez being awful, 3B is really a black hole everywhere. might has well ride out reynolds.

Hola Grey: in a 12-team H2H keeper, I’ve been trotting out Tabata and Raburn lately in CF and feeling pretty blahstapated. Waiver wire includes Borbon, Bourjos, Crisp, and Byrd. Would you drop either Tabata/Raburn for one of the available guys? There is a roster moves cap so I’d be looking at adding the best long-term solution rather than the hot hand. Thanks!

Lost Bourgeouis (can we shorten that and just call him The Borg or would Star Trek folks not like that?)(Maybe Jason of Borg?):
Pick up Ibanez, Bernadina or Borbon (cramps?)?
Also, Ben Fransisco went 0-14 this past week would you drop him for any of those guys?

I don’t believe in Masterson. I think he is a sell high candidate rather than a buy in target. His problem has always been lack of weapons against lefties, and so far in this season, lefties are batting 0.314 against him. His opponents this season are all poor hitting teams or ok teams in slump, so he hasn’t been challenged. If he run into a team with many good lefties, I do expect him to bomb. Yes he does cut this walk rate this season, but his K rate has also went down a little bit. That should help him to lower his FIP from last year’s high 3 to mid 3, but not any lower than that, so don’t expect anything big.

@K76154: i don’t think anyone would predict anything more than say a 3.50ish era, 170ish Ks, 1.25ish whip for masterson over the whole year. however considering you took him as a SP5/SP depth kinda guy or picked him up off waivers, i’d take that line all day.

@bobbo: I believe he was asking for opinions, which is what I offered. I noticed that you didn’t add anything to the conversation. And Madson has done really well as the closer over the last couple of years!

Hey Razzers – it’s Civil War time on my team – I own all four of Morrow, Scherzer, Greinke and Latos, and they’re all pitching against each other today. Do I start them all and hope for low-scoring games? How to handle? Thanks.

@Grey: Re: Teheran v. Minor: I figured it was because it was Teheran’s turn to take the baseball, but I just didn’t know. Part of me was thinking “maybe Teheran is now their ‘#6′ starter, not Minor.” I guess Occam’s Razor should lead me to the former conclusion. Thanks.

@Stophe: Id start them all. its more practical to look at the opposing team and ballpark and not pitcher when determining which starters to play, and you pretty much always start your stars (scherzer, greinke, latos. morrow is budding and should be safe against DET)

M.Young has eligibility at 2B – I have A.Hill and Espinoza… He wants a pitcher for him.

Here is my staff… Which should I offer with me getting edge and where is the fair point in a deal? Can I really give up a starter?
WE start 10 pitchers – 6 SP 4 any type
*I am thinking he will want any of my first 4 (no way I deal Kershaw or probably Gallardo) but I dont think he will buy Gorz or Mosely on the high… Thoughts?
SP-Kershaw
SP-Gallardo
SP-B.Anderson
SP-Beachy
SP-Gorzellany
SP-Mosely
SP-Niese
SP-McClellan
RP-K-Rod
RP-Kimbrel
RP-Madson
RP-Farnsworth
RP-Broxton

Was just offered Tulo/Oswalt for my Wright/Verlander. Obviously not going to do it. I do have Longoria, as well, so Wright is expendable. Do I counter Tulo/Cliffly (or F-Her) for Wright and one of these guys: Hamels or Billingsly? I don’t think I really want to deal Verlander. Cliffly or F-Her, to me at least, is not an upgrade.

@Wilsonian: pretty sizeable jump between hamels and bills. Cant see him accepting a deal of tulo/lee and bills in it. I also wouldnt trade for oswalt, hes had lingering back problems for over a year now, but hes solid when he plays. Try and hold onto hamels.

So over the weekend, I caught the EFB (Your coined ‘Excitement For Bernadina. Is it a movement? Or ailment? Either way…) and am debating on whom to ditch for him. If you’d be so kind; top 2 of the following: Bernadina, Bourjos, Maybin, B. Wood, Valencia, Hosmer.

Good day to you sir,

-The Spaceman

(PS. Another Milano reference? Have you been watching too much ‘Charmed’ as of late? Ha!)

@Pooch: I was at that Texas game sitting right behind home plate and Mister Anderson was getting squeezed like Florida oranges. He had a half a dozen pitches on the outside corner to right handers that were not called and you you could see him getting pissed. He had to bring it in a couple of inches and he gave up a couple of BOMBS. Nelly Cruz’ was particularly majestic. He just kind of fell apart, command wasn’t there, didn’t have his best stuff anyway. I kind of chalked it up to had a bad day.

Thank you for writing what needed to be written… regarding A-Rod’s conquests. I’ll offer the theory that he plays Fantasy Dating, the way we play Fantasy Baseball… we don’t bother to actually look at who we’re picking up, we just make a decision based on what we’ve read about them. And you can’t pick find a magazine that tells you anything other than how stunning these women are.

Honestly, I’d take the girl who works the counter at my local pizzeria over any of them… and I’m a balding, married freelance writer who lives in the Catskills! The options have got to be better for a professional athlete in NYC. Dood needs to turn to his captain… run with Jeet for a few weeks and see how it’s really done.

Got proposed Uggla and Mccann for Brandon Phillips, Napoli and Masterson. Would ordinarily turn this one down but afraid Phillips hasn’t been running. 12 team mixed so Masterson is somewhat replaceable. Thoughts?

peter bourgos has a total of 3 stolen bases on the year .
if he’s ever going to run , this 3-game set , at home , against a.j. piers would seem to be the time .
looks like e-jax , danks , and peavy will be throwing .

over/under @ 3 stolen bases , for the series .
which side are you taking ?

@chata: nah, I was just goofing around enhancing the general baseball atmosphere of the joint. I’ve done a fair amount of umpiring. Thankless job to say the least. I actually give them full credit and forgive their tresspasses as I would have my trespasses forgiven. Say no to replay and laser strike zones. Or so say I.

@OaktownSteve: I’m on the side of computerized strike calling. I’m ok with base umps. Sometimes they’re wrong, but sometimes it’s tough to tell even with the replay. But if you could have the pitches called the same all the time, that would be great.

Well, I play in a pts league that only allows you to start 4 SPs from week to week…a lot of times I’d prefer to just go with a stud with 1 start vs a schmo with 2 starts, but this week I think I have some really good lesser options with 2 starts.

Would prefer Hamels’ 1 start @ ATL vs….

Greinke vs SD, vs PIT
Chacin vs NYM, vs SD
Pineda @ BAL, @ CLE

I personally want to throw all 3 of those guys out there…good pitchers with multiple good matchups each. Which left me with the Kershaw vs ARI and Hamels @ ATL dilemma….

@VinWins: yeah, this one inspires a lot of debate, obviously. I think baseball as a business has to stay up with the times. I think most fans prefer replay and probably some kind of strike zone tech. Hard to argue with the logic of using technology to get calls right. And yet, I just don’t like it. I like baseball and it doesn’t need to do a thing for me to like it any more than I already do.

I hate trading for pitching so I would normally keep the better hitter, but I’m considering it since I’m first in HR/RBI and dead last in ERA/Whip/K’s (thanks to Gallardo). Should I stick with my norm of believing all pitchers are untrustworthy scum, or is Marcum a sure bet? (yahoo 1250 innings cap)

@Grey….I know this is like picking the skinniest fat chick to leave the bar with, but injuries have reduced me to this choice for this week. Need to fill two pitching spots: Lackey @TOR (Ugh),Duensing-TOR, McClellan @CIN (bad feeling), Colon-BOS, White-SEA. Also, Tyson Ross is a FA, but the only two guys I would drop for him now are White (favorable matchup) and Narveson, who is active because of his matchup-PIT. 16 team H2H pts league…

what do you think about this power move: start 6SP against a team playing 4SP/2CL; i need an edge on W and QS since i only have 1 active closer and will likely lose SV and G even if i do start nunez. i just need someone to tell me if its a terrible idea if it is, in fact, a terrible idea.

and as for the potential sixth SP: do you trust gallardo v. PIT or gio v. TEX?

3rd Base has been a killer, I hope Cleveland brings up their young stud up soon. With Zimmerman out forever and AROD looking like he is on his last legs, I sure could use someone better than Mike Aviles at 3rd. I can’t believe how great Polanco is playing and Wright has 37 strikeouts and only batting .246 but 8 steals and 5 homers he is hanging in there. Bautista looks like a top 5 pick next year.

Grey, Ive been offered Hanley for Reyes straight up. Am I being silly to question it? Contract year and a fast start for Reyes, but can he stay healthy? Will Hanley go back to producing the way he always does?

Hello Again Grey! I am in need of some pop in our 12 Team H2H Yahoo League and have an overabundance of SPs (talent yet to be determined) – Hamels, Billingsley, Scherzer, Kennedy, D. Hudson, Beachy, E. Jackson, McClellan, Volquez and lastly Bailey (kinda reads like a Razzball Who’s Who! except maybe Bailey).

What would be a fair trade for a Choo or even a Quentin? That owner is somewhat short on pitching but has some offense.

One more thing (to anyone who will listen) – I was reading through some of the earlier posts and I have decided that I would like to be in a league where one can trade Ogando and Tabata and get Lester (see Post #15). What the f?

Grey,
Is it okay to drop Broxton (RCL 12 team). Reports are that he’ll be out at least 6 weeks (won’t throw for 3 weeks). I have Axford, Santos, Chapman, and Lidge on DL (only DL spot so Broxton would take up lineup spot). In other words, how many saves do you think I might be dropping with Broxton, 20, 10, 0 zero?

News/Analysis Headlines Preseason Outlook
DL stint may be on the way for Lind: Blue Jays DH Adam Lind was left out of Monday’s lineup in a game against the Tigers because of ongoing back spasms, but he may be out longer than originally thought. The National Post reports that manager John Farrell will consider putting the slugger on the disabled list if he does not improve in a “day or two.” The skipper said he not only wants him healthy, but he wants him playing soon. “He is symptom-free when it comes to any kind of neurological [problem], but the spasms are strong,” Farrell said. Lind has missed the better part of three games now with the issue.
(Updated

morrow struck out the 1st batter , who took 1st on a passed ball , which they deemed a wild pitch . (wild pitch sets up an earned run , whereas a passed ball – an unearned run .
next batter walked .
corey patterson mis-plays a fly ball to center …. for a double …. runners on 2nd and 3rd . (should have been out #2)
next guy , broken bat singles behind 2nd base . … one run scores…(earned)
next guy lines out to shortstop ( 3 outs ? … no , only 1).
next guy walks to load the bases .
morrow taken out after 71 pitches , and 6 K’s .
camp comes in and relieves him of all base-runners .
= 5 earned runs .

@Wilsonian: yeah,im off hurt right now,and ive sent a thousand offers out in 3 leagues,cant remember and resent a few,this tents to get the ire of a league mate,then in 1 league they wont answer your offer at all,no response

I’d be interested in hearing an explanation of the formula for the league competitive index formula. Specifically, why does the last term seem to reward bad pitching (ER+H+BB/2)? Is this term actually subtracted, or are IP supposed to be incorporated somehow?