I heard a similar story 8 years ago. The 'fabulous one in a million young guy' was in fact an old 40 year old ugly man, manipulative to young girls, ended up blackmailing and raping her and psychologically scarring her for life.

(Original post by not-another-number)
I think she might mean that they 'met' online. Either way she has made an utter mess of her OP, leaving nobody in a position to advise her (not that it's an advisable situation).

(Original post by xalcro)
I went back to China that summer for 6 weeks and I missed him terribly.

Ok. Add this to my quotes. Into the middle where it is in her 'story'.

(Original post by Keoje)
Ok. Add this to my quotes. Into the middle where it is in her 'story'.

Again, I think she means here that she couldn't really get to a computer to chat in China.
Although you could be right. At first I thought she was contradicting herself (I made a post a couple threads back).
She hasn't exactly been clear!

We've known each other 5 years. =/
Come on, I'm not thick. This isn't some guy I just met off a chatroom a month ago or something.

Girl, this is nothing about how long you've known each other. I'm not considering he's some guy u just picked off a chatroom but it's really really harder to get along with someone in real life. As u said, u haven't been with anyone else in ur life there's no doubt u ar not experienced and mature enough. Let's make my side clear: I AM NOT DENYING YOUR RELATIONSHIP. But what I'm concerning is whether u really fit each other when u bring those conversations into daily lives. Don't rush now and don't get irritated. Let's wait until you meet each other and get along with each other for a long enough time to see what'll happen.

You should meet him first and maybe a few more times. You may find that you just love who he is online...people can be very different and deceiving; on purpose or unintentionally. Maybe it'll be the other way round and he won't like who you are in real life. I agree that online, a relationship can be very different and you can explore and experience things you can't face to face, but there are also things, important things, that you can't see and know online. Meet him first! You may find that you are awkward together and don't know how to be.

(Original post by xalcro)
-- yes we are actually in love. it's very easy to be in love with someone you've never met. you heard of IM? international calls? webcam? the depth at which you experience each others' personalities is something you can NEVER get in real life.

sorry. true some of the stuff I said was outta order. I just got pissed. I'm asking for help, not to be judged, and also not for relationship advice.

I very, VERY fully know all of the problems that all of you have stated. to be honest I think I'm a lot less naive than all of you. of course I KNOW he's not a freakin' pedophile, don't you think I'd have suspected it at one time? don't you think I'd only accept what I believe now with UNDENIABLE proof? a lot of you are very patronizing, and I can't take patronizing. it's the most obvious sign of arrogance.

yeah, sorry, when I say "met" I meant met online. and when I say I missed him, it meant I couldn't be at the computer at a convenient time (especially considering the 15 hour difference) and we couldn't talk much.

yes we are going to meet in person soon, and subsequently after that many times and probably try LIVING in the same country for a long while before getting married. I'm sorry for the whole weirdness of this thread. this has taught me to SERIOUSLY rethink my opening posts so that people don't judge me for things I didn't ASK to be judged on.

cool. thanks for the rare few people who gave actual solid advice. in reply to those, yes, I've heard that you have to be at least 21 in order to get marriage VISAs, so that one's kinda ruled out. he's not extremely qualified to apply for universtiy, in this country or USA. the one we're looking most into now is the work VISA-- I've heard if you apply for a large company in America with a branch in UK, it's possible to try and get transferred. or if you apply to a large company in the UK with its own international department, then employers will discriminate much less, as they aren't the ones who have to deal with the paperwork.

he has 3 years experience as a IT/network tech, so, that's really not bad.

and unfortunately, he doesn't have any grandparents of european origin. pure-bred Mexican, this one. <3

Why are you so irritated? If you are so confident about your love why should you care about what others said? Besides, nobody said anything offensive. We are all trying to help you even though YOU don't think so. This's so ridiculous, I was trying to comfort you previously. I wrote in capital that "I'm not denying your relationship" and I just told you to meet him before making any decisions. But how can you say you are a lot less naive than all of us?! Actually I'm wondering if you really that hate of our advices on your relationship why did you post all of your story with him here? Couldn't you just ask" how can my 19-year-old boyfriend come to UK to live with me?" Just think about your attention ok? Don't you REALLY want to be judged? or you just get disappointed because judgements went to the opposite direction?

Something nobody has picked up on is the fact that he's a Jehovah's Witness. I thought they didn't marry outside the 'clan'? Is this way you have moved from agnostic to aethist, part of your conversion?