In case you missed that column, I’ll explain that when my mother, Alice Whiting, was about 60 years old she announced to the family that when she felt the quality of her life was no longer worth living she would take control of her death.

We are family — Whitings left: Alice Whiting (mom), Jennifer Holcomb (sister), David Whiting, and Allen, (father) in 2006 during the Boston Marathon. (Courtesy of David Whiting)

Mom did just that two years ago and she was not alone in what is a small but growing movement of aging seniors who choose to decide the when and how of their fate.

Understand, this is not about depression but about living and control. From Mom’s point of view — as well as for a number of organizations and psychologists — there is something called “reasoned suicide.”

Here is a sampling of reader thoughts on the ultimate decision:

Pam Leary, Newport Coast:

Tear drops sprinkled my paper while reading your story — tears for my mother and me. My mother was losing ground to dementia and there were no options for in-home care. Words cannot describe how difficult that last two years of Mom’s life was for her, Dad and me. Mom’s dementia was progressing at a fast rate and she had sufficient cognition to be aware of her dwindling mental and physical state. So many times, she would cry and tell us, “I just want to die.”

Dad and I didn’t know what to do. We couldn’t legally pursue assisted suicide. It was agonizing to watch her endure so much physical pain and lose all capacity to communicate. If my mother had been able to take her life before so much suffering, I know in my heart that it would have been the best thing she could have done. It would have been the one thing she would have had control of.

Mary McEvoy, San Clemente:

To die by killing yourself is not dignified. Rather, it is a violent act no matter how it is done. Further, if something is legal does not make it moral, as in the case of abortion.

Life is a gift and to live into old age is a privilege denied to many many millions of our fellow human beings. Your mother’s act of ending her life the way she did was a very selfish act, leaving her husband and family grieving before their time and denying them the joy of her presence.

Steve Cienfuegos, Laguna Niguel:

I lost my parents within two years from one another and until someone has to personally care for someone they love, they cannot understand and appreciate a request that “it’s time.” My father didn’t want to be a burden and endure the humiliation of having us clean him up — which I gladly did as he cleaned my diapers when I was a child and provided all that I could ever want. His cancer was swift.

Unfortunately, my mother suffered a major stroke with effects that lingered for nearly a year. Personally, I subscribe to quality of life vs. grinding it out every day to the bitter end, and I hope to be able to make that choice. This conversation needs to continue.

Myra Payne, Fullerton:

Your Saturday column on the death of your mother was very Sad. For your father – no goodbyes. For her children and grandchildren — how very sad and what a lasting impression it will leave with them that suicide is a choice, a way out at any age.

I cared for my youngest son, severely handicapped, for 30 years. He died at home. I then cared for my aging parents in our home. My mother died at 85 with congestive heart failure at home. My father died at 90 of prostate cancer at home.

As a family, we accompanied them in their final years and in their dying. Family and friends had time with them to talk, pray and say goodbyes, “I love you.” We have a strong faith in God. Each of our loved ones had a purpose in life even in their weaknesses, sufferings and dying. Each left us with a lasting, loving impression of the dignity of life and of death.

Pat Soldano, Anaheim Hills:

I totally understand your mother’s position and think she was very brave to do what she believed was right and take control of her passing with dignity. I have seen too many people in my life suffer and pass without dignity; it is very painful to watch.

Louise Allard, Laguna Woods:

Suicide’s impact on others is very significant. To excuse the loved one from taking such a drastic step, we robe our language with distortions or half-truths. The dying process may bring psychological and/or physical suffering, but it does not subject us to a loss of our worthiness or respect. Facing the aging process requires courage.

The fact that suicide did not stem from a rash decision but a deliberate one does not confer special respect for the act. What is suicide? It is the premeditated act of murdering oneself.

“Reasoned” suicide — or more aptly “willful” suicide — does not mean that the person had all the correct information to make an informed decision. Often, as in the case of your mother, she was exposed to propaganda some 30 years ago. It had such an impact on her, that she lived the last third of her life re-assessing her quality of life. Was her life worth living or was she just taking up space? These thoughts were subtle but destructive.

Barry Wasserman, Huntington Beach:

I faced a similar decision with my mother who lived to the age of 98. She was ill from falling down numerous times and beseeched my brother and I to help her end it. She outlived all of her friends and wanted to die saying “enough is enough.”

We need to be more proactive when the quality of life is no longer there and find legitimate ways to end it. It is a hope of many that in the not too distant future, people will have the autonomy to make decisions over ending their lives legally with respect and dignity.

It is not being selfish to leave this Earth on your own or with the help of an assemblage of others. If one believes God is the creator of all living things and has bequeathed us with a higher intelligence to that of an animal, then one must assume it is not inconceivable or dishonorable to Him for His children to make the decision to leave life as we know it and be risen up to His side.

David Whiting is the award-winning Metro Columnist at The Orange County Register. He also can be heard on radio, has served as a television news anchor and speaks frequently at organizations and universities. He previously was an assistant managing editor and has received Columbia University’s Race and Ethnicity Award, National Headliner awards and Sigma Delta Chi’s Public Service Award. He recently was invited to participate in an exchange program with Chinese journalists. He earned his undergraduate degree from the University of Michigan and his master’s from Columbia University’s Graduate School for Journalism. He is a two-time Ironman, a two-time Boston marathoner and has climbed the highest mountains in Africa and North and South America.