Links

Day 90: Self Forgiveness on the Disappointment Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to exist as the Disappointment Character, where I let myself be
taken over completely by/into this character design that consists of an entire
suite of specific thoughts, feelings, emotions, backchat, mannerisms,
tonalities, internal conversations, behaviors,
that I then become and live as, and thus am not here as myself, simply living
here as breath and able to express myself, because I’m now trapped within an
energetic possession where then all I think/do/say/act/feel is the
preprogrammed reactions/behaviors of the character.

I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am faced with a reality
that did not meet my expectations, and then experience disappointment, that I
am the cause of that disappointment, because I am the one that created the
expectation, and held on to the expectation, and decided that if I did not get
my expectation, that I would go into an energetic experience as a reaction and
thus become my own enslaver by enslaving myself within the character design
play-out that I allowed to be activated and that I allowed myself to
participate in. And thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to not realize that nothing and no one is ever the cause of my
disappointment except myself.

I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my disappointment is actually
disappointment with myself and thus I should look at what it is that I am
disappointed with myself, to find where I have ‘let myself down’, so that I can
take self responsibility for myself to stop disappointing myself.

I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to become accustomed to the entire experience of
going into/becoming/being possessed by this character, such that it feels
‘normal’ and ‘right’ and that I feel like I don’t want to stop, because It’s
what I’ve become used to and thus within this, I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to form a relationship/dependency to/toward a
character, and to trust this feeling, and not realize that this is the perfect
enslavement of myself so that I’ll never realize myself and my potential and
stand up and make a difference in this world, but will remain possessed within
a prescribed, predesigned character that is not life/living as instead of being
here and participating in the world/reality, I’m busy within my mind as a
character living according to the perceptions of my mind which aren’t real, and
thus I’m not real.

I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to allow a single picture in my mind to
trigger/activate an entire take-over/possession of myself, and within this I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design myself as my
mind in such a way that this is even possible, and that I did not realize what
I was doing as I was creating and programming myself as a character/characters.

I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I go into the Disappointment
character as a form of ‘Giving Up’, wherein I’ve accepted myself as a ‘victim’
to reality, where because things didn’t turn out as I’d expected, now I just
‘give up’ on reality, and then experience myself as not wanting to participate
in reality, and thus when I experience the disappointment character, it’s to
look at what have I ‘given up’ on, meaning where have I given up my self
direction, my self responsibility, my self expression, and given in to reasons
and justifications as to why I can’t participate now, because I was ready to
only participate in one version of reality, the one I wanted/expected, within
this, not considering how extensively I’ve limited myself by completely compromising
my ability to act/live/speak/express/move in any moment no matter what happens.
And thus, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself
to not realize that I experience disappointment because I have given up on
myself, and on my life, by compromising my self expression, my self direction,
my self responsibility, my ability to live in the moment as myself and not as
trapped and possessed within an energetic possession of my own creation.

Self Corrective Application on the
Disappointment Character to follow in the next post..