I'm in the middle of revising my novel Oh! A mystery of 'mono no aware' coming out early next year. My publisher and editor at Chin Music Press sent a document with general thoughts, concerns, suggestions, questions, even some praise. It's always a nervous time for writers, at least this one. Sure I want constructive criticism which will improve the book. Yet, let's face it, constructive or not, criticism is criticism.

Working with editors is a big topic in itself. For now, I want to talk about something the editor brought up about my writing. He pointed out a few places where I "over explained" things. Reading the passages he pointed out, I agreed with him for the most part. For example:

Later that day, I?m back on the professor?s campus. Since I thought I?d be with Carine for a few days, I told the professor I couldn?t make our weekly meeting. I called him and let know we were back on.

The rain is finally starting up. It?s a muggy rain and I wish I were headed to the beach. Maybe that?s what I should do, take a vacation. But I?m supposed to be on a vacation already, traveling the world. If I have to go on vacation to get away from my vacation then something isn?t working. Besides, I?d be taking a vacation by myself. I?m feeling the need to be around people. At least I?m feeling something.

And so I?m at the professor?s office, knocking on his door. It opens slowly and a young woman is behind the door holding it open. The professor is at his desk with a piece of paper in his hand, a small stack of papers in front of him.

Pretty wordy, huh? And most of it didn?t really further the plot. So I rewrote it:

Later that day, I?m back on the professor?s campus with the editing I?ve completed for him. The rain of the rainy season is finally starting. It?s a thick, slow-motion rain and I wish I were headed to the mountains. When I knock, the professor?s door opens slowly.

The rewrite definitely gets to the point quicker. The idea of over-explaining also reminded me of an admonition I read somewhere, years ago. Fiction writers are supposed to "show not tell." Obviously this means the details and character actions should carry the weight of the imagery. For example, a character in Oh!, is a coffee connoisseur. I don't have to tell the reader he is fussy about coffee, I only have to have him curl his upper lip when offered a Styrofoam cup of coffee from the office cafeteria. Or see him stash his own special blend of beans in his desk. (Based on a true story).