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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

vanity | instagram confessions

my finger hovered over the 'share' button. was i exposing myself as a vain and narcissistic beast? yes.. probably... but i needed to come clean.

and as what often happens when you share your soft underbelly of truth.. you hold the door open for others to stand with you.
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i am ever grateful to the friends met and unmet on instagram. it is a community like no other. i can never repay all it has given to me. with deep gratitude i share with you here what fills my heart tonight. selfishly i hope that in some small teeny tiny way.. it fills a little of yours. that in it you recognize we all in this together.... that we are all one.

- to open your heart is to open that of another -

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from instagram... the following post:
(or just click here to read the full share.. as i am only posting the last. but it is truly the full conversation that sparks. my love to you)

'i seek'
--

gheaven... Warning totally narcissistic
ponderings.... But i have just realize that i have waited my whole life
to be 'beautiful' . I always felt less than.. and an ugly duckling. I
kept thinking... Well once my hair grows, or when my skin clears, or my
health returns, or get a tan. An 'if then' scenario which never happens
because there is always one more thing. How have i missed that this..
Right now and here is it. That beautiful is a life not an appearance.
And that if i am not happy with me as i am right this moment i never
ever will be. It is even embarrassing to post because it feels
ridiculously vain. But i feel like i need to come clean.

gheaven... i am also realizing i use
The 'when i get this thing/knowledge/idea.. Then i will ___ ....' in
many other areas of my life. It is pervasive.

(reply)--- ..... I feel
the same way. That I'm never enough. Only if I achieve one more thing.
Perhaps I'll be enough then. I never have that much compassion for
myself. I'm learning slowly of how to be free from that story that I
told myself all my life. You are a beautiful person internally and
externally. I see it and feel it in you. We both are plenty! Hugs and
kisses. 😘

gheavenThank you. You touch my heart... I am crying. Yes we both are
plenty ;) and You my friend are So worthy... So beautiful and so not in
need of one more thing in order to be. learning slowly is still
learning. I still have my training wheels on and i fall down... A lot.
But maybe one day i will fly. Love you.. And thank you... You are such a
gift.

(reply) --- .... You will fly and feel so free. I wish that
for you. My sweet dear friend you are a gift as well. An incredible
being that you are. Life is just series of falling down and getting back
up. Everything and nothing can be our teachers. If only we open up our
hearts and our minds to being right here and now. Thank you dearest for
you kind words. Sending you all my love. ❤❤😘