“I want to be an inspiration”

The following essay was written by a student at E. Russell Hicks Middle School:

Words enveloping your soul; embracing it as the pieces are cut- as if you were a piece of paper. Standing there silently as they tear you apart. As the pieces of your heart fall to the ground, you pick them back up just to be shoved into the ground.

But you get back up and insist you can keep going. You’re using so much tape on your heart and soul, you’re running out. There’s not enough for you to keep yourself together. And now that they’ve destroyed you heart and soul, your mind’s next. But you’ve already lost it- the words continually playing in your head. Over and over again until you feel like you’re going to explode!

The hallways are a battle field as people shout names from across the hall. You look back to see the attacker to have them vanish. Because they’re cowards and couldn’t say the words to your face. No more tape left, you advance down the hall: Head down, books gripped so tightly your knuckles become white. You’re not strong enough though and someone slams them out of your hands and your papers and book go everywhere, along with your secrets.

Teachers tell you to ignore them. They don’t know how hard it is for you tell someone if it seems like no one cares? How can you say your heart is tearing every time “they” whisper ugly or gay? How can you say that you’re not okay? How can you explain to someone that you can’t take it anymore?! That you want it to end? That you want to end; your life?

How can you fight back?! How can you fight back when you don’t know the words to say? How can you fight when you’re at breaking point? That the only thing you can do is actually fight?

Because whatever is swimming in your head is wrong. Because you’re beautiful! Your heart, your soul! You’re somehow hanging on to that thread that appears so thin. Why prove them right? Why prove to them that they won and end it? What makes you think that you can leave everyone behind? That no one will be affected?

Why?

Why leave when you have so much to live for? Your family, your friends, your spouse… Why leave that all behind? Because of an insignificant person or persons that think they have the right? Why let them win?

You will always have someone whether you believe it or not. And I want you to know that- Because I want to make a different. I understand how it feels- to appear invisible; nonexistent. And that’s why I wrote this- Because I’m one who gets it.