To your right, you can see the special project I had Cheshire
Catalyst working on. Spiffy isn't it? Moving on, today, as earlier stated, Stom is guest hosting
er, Doug, I hate using real names! >8(

Hello. I'm Doug "Stom" Hill, head of News at RPGamer if you didn't know,
and there's a good chance that I was playing RPGs before 25% of you were
born, so PHEAR! Actually, I just wanted this opportunity to answer some
questions.

Hey, its my birthday today, and I'm a fan of your Q&A column, so I
thought I'd send a letter to you to ask for a present. Can I use you in
an English paper due Friday (gender on the Internet is the topic)? If
so, how long have you been at RPGamer, are you neuter or none gendered,
and whose shoulder are you sitting on in the sig-pic?Doug: Sure you can! I'm a male and have been at RPGamer for about half a year
now. And as for the shoulder.. oh.. you mean Goog.Google: I've also been at RPGamer for about half a year (Well, 5 months) and as for that picture,
I always interpreted it as me being the humanoid and the slime just being any ol' slime.

Oh, and some RPG questions:
Is there a max level (which means a max number of skill points) in Star
Ocean 2?Doug: As for the max level.. It's 255. Goog can take credit for this because I
did ask him, but I 'thought' it was 255 before I asked.Google: I feel I should mention that at the time I stopped playing I was on level 30 or so and
I'd almost mastered every skill already. Although I hear when you hit Level 255 it says Master.
What is your favorite Xenogears party?Doug: Xenogears.. uhh.. I need to play that too. (Time is a luxury.)Google: I, like just about everyone else, am a big fan of Citan/Elly/Billy.
Which GF do you think is the cutest/favorite? (Mine's Tonberry)Doug: Which GF is the cutest? Diablos! He's got those dimples to die for! o_OGoogle: I've always liked Bahamut and Alexander.
And finally,
If Sephiroth, Krelian, and Edea were to have a Triple Triad tournament,
who do you think would win?

Thanks for your time and work.

Sincerely,

Melchior, the Geddon Knight

Doug:Sephiroth would probably get mad and quit, cutting the table and Krelian in
half, while Edea would use her magic to create false cards to win. *shrug*

Googleshng:Yeah, that sounds about right.

I've got the brain! No I've got it!

Hey androgenous person,

I thought I remembered reading somewhere that Square bought out Quest to
make FFT. Did they, and if so, who's making OB3? (I hope its Quest all their
games are quality.)
Also, hasn't OB3 come out already in Japan? Why don't you lazy bums do an
import review? Come on, you did one for FF8 and OB3 is gonna be at least as
good. (Warning: Largely Unfounded Prediction)
PLease respond and give me some good news!

Doug:Square did not buy out Quest. They simply hired away the team responsible
for Tactics Ogre to make Final Fantasy Tactics. Quest is still making Ogre
Battle 3 (called Ogre Battle 64 here now), and Atlus will publish it in
North America. The reason we do not review imports is that the vast
majority of us do not know enough Japanese to play Japanese games and get
the correct impression. Also, there are many cases where North American
publishers make changes and have varying translations that affect the grade
that an RPG deserves.

As for Final Fantasy 8, you are mistaken. Our main editorials man,
peregrine-, hooked up a caffiene IV on September 7th and started playing the
English version, and beat it on September 10th. I'm still waiting to get a
personal caffiene IV kit myself. We'll review Ogre Battle 64 when it's
released this Summer. =)

Googleshng:That sums it up basically.

Bad mainstream press! No cookie!

Dear Goog,
Ahhhh, I am so pissed off at Newsweeks' articles about the PS2. The coverage about the
machine and Sony's plans were all right, but the editorial that followed claimed the video games
are not art! What's more is that in his article he never made reference to a single RPG. What is
your opinion on RPGs as an artform Goog and should roam the earth until I kill the evil Newsweek
author?
Adam "Really Pissed Off" Simmons
PS: The web address to see the article is Newsweek.com and it is in this weeks edition.

Doug:
Personally, I do think they were wrong to say that games are not art, because they are art, or at
least a hybrid of art. They are different from art in that they are interactive, but they all contain
an individual style, and RPGs are known for how rich they can be, whether it's intriguing theatrics
or an incredibly awesome looking scene/area. While I do not personally condone murder, I do
condone the beatings of stupid people. However, most state governments do not, so I just dream.

Googleshng:Someone else sent me the link to that article at a time when
I was in the mood to read such a thing. I wouldn't get too stressed out over it though,
the author is a moron. His main premise is that video games aren't art, but then he just
goes on and on and on about how polygonal characters aren't as good looking as real people.
So by that definition, paintings and sculptures aren't art because they don't look exactly
like real people, music and novels REALLY aren't art, movies might be though. Anyway,
if you want to point and laugh at the guy, here's
the story. Don't get too angry though, there's no way to flame him. 8)

Questions for Stom

Hey Stom,

How many hours per day do you spend with the news? Do you get paid? And just out of curiosity,
wasn't Vandole and Wilykat supposed to take over Square.org? Thanks,

--Crono

Doug:Well, I am head of news, so I do more than what you see on the page. I am in charge of
helping organize staff, establishing and continuing public relations
and developer/publisher contacts, hiring new staff, and I also help out on a lot of other things. (like
occasionally guest-hosting Q&A) I also gather a lot of the news. I'd say I spend almost forty hours
a week working here, which is about what a full time job is. The pay question is none of your
business. (Just think really hard) =P

As for Square.org, it should be in their hands by now. If it's not, it's because it got caught in a snag
during the transition process, but that's pretty much out of my hands. They have it now. =)

Googleshng:Oh fine, I'll answer them also. I spendd 0 hours on news, and
therefore don't get paid for it, and yeah, I think they were.

At last, a guest host who watches Transformers!

my friend is making a RPG on his comp (i tink usin ASCII's RPGmaker95)
baed on transformers: the movie.
Only thing is, after reading your colums, decided that there should be
alternate endings:

a) Dan admits that he was gay for optimus primeDoug: Ick. That's all I'll say. Ick.Google: Yeah, that's just not right.
b) Hot rod tries to open the matrix....but it doesn't work verry wellDoug: I have to admit that I never really liked the idea of introducing a new
character out of nowhere to take over for the Autobots. I would've liked
the idea better had they phased him in slowly. Such an ending would've been
comical. Hey, then Grimlock could've opened it! Then he really could've
kicked butt! =DGoogle: To quote this joke version of the script I once saw, "You can't handle a Grimlock Prime!"
c) (this is for you) Wheely "accidentally" gets smashed by pieces of
floating unichronDoug: If Carrot Top, Richard Simmons, and whoever made the Super Nintendo
version of Pit Fighter get crushed too, I'm game. :)Google: That's not painful enough! Can't he fall into the crucible or be torn limb from limb
by those little tentacle claws instead?
d) Everyone shoots the Junkbot played by Eric Idle because no one
understands what the hell he is saying

end.

Doug:You need to brush up on your TV. Eric Idle is da man!

Googleshng:That he is. Besides, I for one can uderstand every word Wreck-Gar
says... although I guess it should be mentioned that the number of times I've seen The
Movie MIGHT have 4 digits.

Where do little chocobos come from?

Dear Googleshng and the mighty "Doug"
I have a question that has befuddled many scholars for several years.
So in the attempt to find a viable answer I shall now submit it to the
powerfull Q&A men. Ahem, in Final Fantasy 7 in order to breed chocobos
a male AND a female chocobo are needed, and you end up with a full grown
chocobo, however in Final Fantasy Tactics when you receive one chocobo
(Boco) it has the ability to lay an egg and procreate in this fashion.
Why? How is it possible that a single species can procreate both
sexually and asexually. This is very confusing and I appreciate the time
that yoo have taken to decide on a suitable answer for this question.
The Pansy of Doom

Doug:The Chocobos of Final Fantasy Tactics do no procreate asexually. You see,
there are taverns in every town you stop in. When you stop in town, you
might run into a random Chocobo there and one thing leads to another.
Remember that every time you move it takes a day, so there's plenty of time
for stuff to happen. If your Chocobo is female, she simply lays the egg.
If your chocobo is male, when you go back through the town, the female
Chocobo with the egg will threaten your Chocobo wanting child care so your
party will graciously decide to take care of the egg and raise it as a brave
warrior. This also applies to all other beasts in the game besides undead
creatures. I have NO idea how they reproduce, and I don't want to know.

Googleshng:I would say they just kill townsfolk and bring them into your
evil army, but then why are there eggs? WHY ARE THERE EGGS?!?

Appearently Doug misses the point of quickies...

Hey Goog and Doug! It me! The guy who, according to Brentai, is
reponsible for Q&A no longer being about Q&A!"Q&A is no longer about Q&A, it's about weird crackless women"
(Steeples fingers and laughs like Lex Luthor "Mwha ha ha. My plan hath
worked. Now to turn the Senate into a hand-puppet manufacturing plant.)

A couple questions!

1) When is Baldur's Gate II slated for release?Doug: Baldur's Gate II is currently scheduled to be released this Fall, but as
it's early in the year, this could easily be pushed back. Considering how
many games as Interplay is working on, and their standard for quality, it
would not surprise me if it gets pushed back, but most likely will be done
before Christmas 2000.
2) What was the name of the Doctor in Esthar in FF8? (This has been
eating at me all day...all I can think of is "You want to fight? You
want to fisticuffs?!"Doug: I'll let Goog try to answer that. I've been so busy that I haven't had a
chance to play very far in Final Fantasy 8. (Full time here and full time
college student.)Google: You mean Odine?
3) Could said doctor beat up Hojo? What about Cid (from FF6...or any of
them for that matter)Doug: *shrug*Google: Sure, Hojo's a wimp... or do you mean Cid vs. Odine... I'd go with Cid, any of them, I
think some might bite!
4) Who won the fight between Karla and Edea? (I had to wash the cat when
it was on....damn you Aunt Tom!)Doug: *shrug*Google: According to the responses that got, Edea, but it was pretty close.
5) Is there any chance that Chrono Trigger will show up for PSX here in
the states?Doug: Chrono Trigger was not announced in the Square lineup for North America,
which made me slightly upset, but then I remembered that I had two things.
One, I have the internet, which gives me access to the movies. Two, I have
Chrono Trigger on Super Nintendo, which I'm willing to bet (if Final Fantasy
Anthology is any sign) that it's the superior version. Also, we're getting
Chrono Cross instead. :)Google: Oh yeah! We have the movies! I think I'll go watch those later.
6) Do you think I'm pretty?
Cheshire Catalyst

Doug:Cheshire, I think you're the prettiest.. err.. where'd you go?

Googleshng:Come back! You forgot today's picture! Oh well, I'll just use
this one.

You see, he gave long responses to quickies so there's a lot

Googleshng and Stom,
First of all, has anyone in the world beaten Star Ocean 2 on Galaxy, let alone with the limiter
off? I've been dying to know, since I seem to be incapable of getting anywhere in SO2 to begin
with. Secondly, who are the new additions to the staff from the applications, or are those still
being figured out?

-Hoenir Aesir

Doug:I really didn't get too far in Star Ocean 2 myself. I liked the skill system, and I still intend to get at
least one ending, but the plot was not very exciting to me. Simply a personal opinion, not meant
to be the end all opinion on the game.

As for the new staff, they will be debuting sometime next week after we finish up the interviews. If
you applied and have not been contacted, you did not make it to the next round. Thank you very
much to those who applied for trying as the response was overwhelming, and it really was difficult
to narrow it down. Perhaps next time. =)

Googleshng:Before everyone gets mad at not finding out about the newbie
situation until now, there were a LOT of applications, we just squeezed it down to a few
finalists last night.

See? This should be a quickie!

SOMEbody asked a gritty little question yesterday...
"If Locke had the chance, would he steal the clothes of Celes?
a)no b)YES!! c)he does't steal, he "treasure hunts"
HERE'S THE ANSWER!

-Sibhod?

Doug:I personally don't usually get excited about video game girls, especially
considering Celes is a 32 x 16 pixel image. However, in my youth, when the
game was first released, I did try that. Didn't work. If you really want
to know the details, there might be a piece of Fan Fiction on RPGamer that
goes deeper into such things. It might not be Locke and Celes, though..

Googleshng:I believe I called it. Anyway, this is quite amusing, I think
the one comming up might be funnier though.

This REALLY should be.

Goog,
Why, oh why, is Pokemon, considered an RPG?

Chris

Doug:Let's see, characters that gain levels, find objects, wander around on an
overhead map, talk to other people, have towns, shops, and fight using an
RPG battle engine. Sure, the story isn't exactly Final Fantasy, but it's a
kid's game. Pokemon, like it or not, is indeed an RPG. If you don't like
it.. uhh.. don't play it. :)

Googleshng:Yeah, I'd like to know what kind of definition of RPG you have
that doesn't include Pok&eacutemon.

I'm getting sick of whining here, so I'll stop.

I was wondering, does Doug "Stom" Hill play Everquest? I've seen someone on
Fennin Ro there by the name of Stom, is it the same person or just a
coincidence?

Doug:I have played some EverQuest in the past, but not within the last six
months. It's most likely a coincidence. Nowadays I'm most likely to be
found on the battlefields of a multiplayer game of Nox. If you see a Stom
playing Nox, there's a good chance it's me. Don't stop to say hi, because I
will kill you. [EG] (If I kill you, you then have my permission to say
hello.)

Googleshng:I on the other hand have never played EQ.

I'm NOT Setzer's girlfriend.

Of course! It's all so simple! If YOU'RE Gogo, then all we have to do is
figure out Gogo's gender, and then everyone will know the answer to this
question which has plagued man(And women) kind for months!! Wahaha!!!

...

...

Curses! Foiled again!

Doug:You know, there was the rumor going forever that Gogo was Darryl, Setzer's
long lost friend who had bumped her head or something in an RPG fashion, but
there's a very good reason to believe it's not true. In an RPG, if there's
something like that, they tell you before the end. Hence should Goog be
Gogo, it shall continue to remain genderless.

Googleshng:I never understood where people got that from. I mean, what evidence
is there that Gogo is ANYONE else?

More on Transformers

First off, how can you not like Wheelie?? He's like, the best
character from the Movie,... second only to Bumblebee,... and Jazz (you have
to respect someone who says Shenanigens ^_^). Seriously, if ANYONE needs to
die, it's Blur. That's MY opinion anyway,.... As far as a question
goes,... well darn it I don't have one. Not to say that there isn't
anything that I want to know about, it's just that anything I don't know (an
upcoming game for example) can be found elsewhere on the sight if my
curiousity ever goes rampant. The only question that I can't have answered
on the site (I don't think) is your sex, but I am neither that curious, nor
do I expect you to tell me. By the way, Snake would take Rambo down any
day, Snake gots the mad ninja skillz,... not like Grey Fox does, but I
digress. I suppose the only game-relevant question I could ask would be "In
your opinion (ha! take that Brentai!), which is superior: The Legend of
Zelda or Crystalis". I ask because it's ALL about the old-school games, and
to settle a discussion between myself and a friend.

Jeff Chermak

Doug:I was always partial to Eric Idle's Wreck-Gar(sp?) and of course Grimlock.
As for Goog's gender.. I have no idea. As for the question of which game is
superior, I've always called Legend of Zelda my favorite game of all time,
and that still holds true. Strange from someone who got their handle from
Crystalis, I know, but that's just my opinion.

Googleshng:It is weird that Grimlock is so popular, he looks like he's
just there to appeal to little kids but it's just not true! He, is this a good time to
mention that I replaced all the sounds in WarCraft 2 with Transformers quotes? The mages
are Kup. Oh right, there's a question. Well, they're both extremely cool games in their
own way, but Crystalis has the rabbit boots and the Change spell!

The Last Laugh:

Doug: I really enjoyed this opportunity to answer some questions and have some
fun. I used to be very much active helping with Q&A, back in Thor's day. I
would help him with game questions he didn't know and would proofread. It
was fun to do this again. I'd also like to thank Goog for letting me guest
host. He does a terrific job. Well, I can't think of anything clever. I'm
much too tired. Thanks for reading. :)

Google: I don't know why I decided to mess with formatting and send so many letters today, just
felt like celebrating my escape from Alpha Centauri I guess. Anyway, this picture here was sent to me
by someone who didn't know who made it. It looks like I did to tell the truth, but the neck doesn't
look like my work, plus I think I'd remember. Darn funny though. Actually, if you make him a mime you
can have him dance. Anyway, enjoy your weekend, and don't forget to send them thar questions to th'Southern
Oracle!