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In love it is only enough to choose the person to love, but they require intention

Commitment is an obligation contracted by a person who engages in something or someone. In relationships often have the idea of responsibility, for the couple, in life with the partner and the survival of both. They are economic and emotional issues in a formal love, whether a courtship or a marriage. In Love Times you get to know the signs of the zodiac that are afraid of commitment.

According to psychologist Mila Cahue, from the Álava Reyes psychology centre, "people want a commitment when they don't touch". Couples are going to live together when they are in the dating phase and she affirms that it should not happen because they are just getting to know each other. Because precisely the courtship has that function: the time to meet the other person," says the expert.

The psychologist says that the main error in which the commitment is raised when the relationship is immature. "First we have to get to know each other and when we know who we are with, with all its virtues and defects, then we can commit ourselves," she said.

Aries

They are stubborn and stubborn by nature and although you can give everything to achieve to be in a relationship, since they live in it often show apathy. They are easily disenchanted and especially occurs by the fear that love reaches another level, commitment. These couples can reach formal relationships the problem occurs while in them.

Cancer

They are extremely romantic to live a very serious relationship, they come to be in a strong and secure love, but the sensitivity shows you doubts like; "do you love me enough?", "we won't last long together". "we're going to ruin what we've already accomplished," and the list goes on.

Leo

The ego of those born under the sign of Leo leads to many relationships to fail, they are often so attentive to feed their "I", which commonly fear that the couple snatch their free time, money, friends. They do not want to share that which reflects the commitment. It does not cause that effect in all cases but doubts always arise internally.

Libra

They are always looking for new experiences and think of the idea of making a short commitment with the possibility of remaining experienced in future relationships. It is not a question of being an unfaithful couple, but of their fear to stop having new loves even if they meet the standards of a formal relationship.

Sagittarius

The sign of Sagittarius values freedom and independence, something very contradictory to the commitment in the relationship, especially because it reflects the responsibility you acquire to live in a couple or have a formal relationship. Thinking about losing one of the previous two terrifies them, but they can always try.

According to psychologist Pilar Conde, finding a partner is an issue that worries many men and women, between 30 and 55 years old, who come to her office. All people, explains this expert, we have an important need for filiation, emotional contact with the people around us, friends, family, couple.

And those who do not succeed suffer a common state of sadness, isolation, and even depression, associated with an "imposed singleness".

They are people who associate the relationship of couple and the formation of a family with a life project.

If, finally, he or she considers that their sentimental loneliness is due to factors directly related to their own immutable characteristics, such as their physical, personality or intellect, these individuals become vulnerable to depression.

Then there is the issue of age, the more experience linked to the years, people tend to cheat, are loaded with a backpack of prejudices and immediately see the failures of the other.

In those in their thirties, it often happens that they have tried several times without success. In this band "there are those who are very clear that their life plans are for having a partner and believe that they should have already achieved", and unfailingly think that there is something they are not doing well.

The situation can worsen, according to the psychologist, with a drop and even the loss of self-esteem, which leads to consider those "forcibly single" that things are not going to change or that, at least, they can not do anything to change them.

In this way, they abandon the search for a partner and, therefore, the possibility of finding one.

It's not so much how you access the partner, but how you establish that relationship and on what basis it's consolidated.

It is common for some people to have difficulty finding a partner, but more people lack the tools to manage relationships.

Sometimes it is rather a question of personality and "here we could, with prudence, generalize: narcissists, histrionics, avoiders and people with suspicious traits have more problems to find a stable partner.

Finding a partner: some advice

For all those who have difficulties in finding a partner, Pilar Conde recommends the following steps:

Before finding a partner and starting a serious relationship, feel happy with yourself.

Love and accept yourself as you are; focus on improving what is important to you.

Respect the life you wanted to have before meeting your partner, your friends, family, leisure, hobbies, expectations.

Defend and respect your personal rights, as well as the rights of your partner.

The fact that a person decides to be with us does not depend only on what we do or how we are, so that we do not do more than what really defines us.

And, above all, don't be afraid that someone won't want to be with you: we can't all like each other.

"If we want to find someone we have to take actions that lead us towards that goal. So when you meet someone, adjust expectations, especially with time and what it will mean if the relationship does not develop as we wanted.

Conde reiterates that it is very important to have the ability to feel good about yourself, the reality is that we will always be with ourselves and we do not know what life can bring us.

The courtship and marriage go through different stages where the most beautiful one is always the one of falling in love, everything is perfect and there are no fights.

But it is as time goes by that conflicts begin and everything comes to an end. It is then that the question arises as to what went wrong or why relationships die.

According to Terri Orbuch, a clinical psychologist at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research, when you think that a relationship should be a certain way, but it's not on a day-to-day basis, a great deal of frustration begins to be generated that ends up destroying the couple.

Love involves hard work

When communication begins to fracture, other issues that were less obvious begin to become real problems. Here are some things that can kill any relationship.

1. Criticism. After many years of studies, John Gottman, a psychologist and professor at the University of Washington, points out that although we all have defects, when criticism is repeated, it affects a person's self-esteem, which will make him or her no longer want a partner.

2. Contempt. Gottman says that when a person acts out sarcasm, insults or a bad look at his or her partner, it makes him or her feel useless, even affecting their health; no one wants a relationship like this, which is why divorce is even possible.

3. Defensive attitude. A person presents this behavior in a natural way in life, but within a couple's relationship it usually increases when one of the two parties tries to justify their failures or "slips", if it becomes a persistent theme may indicate the end.

4. Obstruct. Beyond a miscommunication, the psychologist says, there is a moment when a "barrier" rises metaphorically, there is no sign of interest or effort to connect again, and the disappointment of those who still want to continue becomes deep.

5. Not having sex. Family therapist and author of the book "How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free", Tina B. Tessina, explains that intimacy with a partner is essential for keeping them together, although it is often overlooked because of the fatigue of daily activities.

Even if you don't feel playful or resentful, do it. An orgasm makes the mind and body feel good; sex is different after a long time together but you must learn how to make it easy to get there

6. Neglect to take care of yourself. While as time goes by, love becomes deeper and the outside is less important, it is good for the relationship that you continue to seek to attract each other. Putting in a little effort to look the way they like themselves is something that will make a difference.

7. Forget about the details. The everyday signs of affection are those that keep intimacy and romance alive, but many couples forget to show them what wears down the relationship.

Tessina says it doesn't require expensive gifts, a kiss to say thank you when your partner does something for you is more than a nice touch.

The best way to keep relationships from dying is to foster good communication, as well as to remember (and say) to yourself day by day the reasons why you fell in love. People change, but that doesn't have to be a bad factor.

What makes the perfect woman? Is she a Martha Stewart replica ironing your shirts flawlessly while blueberry flax seed muffins are baking in the oven? Perhaps she's a supermodel with a picture-perfect body. Well the truth is, neither of these are true. Most guys are just looking for their perfect match. It can be hard to know if the person standing beside you is the one. You could trust your gut, but statistics show our guts are wrong at least fifty percent of the time.

Here are 15 remarkable qualities that mean she may be Mrs. Right and you should never let her go.

1. She makes you want to be a better man. If you are suddenly caring about getting in shape or going out of your way for romantic gestures, she is bringing out the best in you.

2. She accepts your faults. Whether you forget to take the trash out or don't shower on weekends, this woman lets you be you. She doesn't try to make you her next fit-it project.

3. She is smart. A woman with brains will keep you interested, teach you things, and be able to argue her point-of-view.

4. She tells you when you are wrong. Admit it, guys make the wrong decisions every now and then and do stupid things. Even if you don't think you want to be told you're wrong, you do. Wouldn't you rather have a woman who stands up to you rather than a doormat?

5. She is kind and nurturing. If you think you may want to someday have a family, a woman that's kind and nurturing will be a great mother.

6. She keeps her cool in arguments. Arguments are going to happen, it's a fact of life. If you can get through them without her crying or making you punch a hole in the wall, you're in great shape.

7. She is strong, but feminine. No, we don't mean she lifts weights in a pink dress. This woman is proud of who she is but also lets you kill the spiders.

8. She trusts and respects you. Feeling trusted is one of the most important characteristics in a relationship. You know she trusts you when you she confidently respects guy's nights and doesn't get angry (even if you do stumble home drunk at 2 a.m.).

9. She is confident. You want her to love you, not need you. Nothing is better than a woman who's comfortable in her own skin and doesn't have to ask, "Does this dress make my thighs look big?"

10. She has her own life apart from you. She has a well-rounded life that she's created for herself that includes healthy friendships, an established career, hobbies, and future goals.

11. She is driven and motivated. Without drive, there is no purpose. Without purpose, she will never truly be happy.

12. She is emotionally stable. Crazy girls may be fun, but you don't want to spend your life with someone who is loving you one minute only to be throwing your stuff out the window the second.

13. She takes care of herself. She doesn't have to be a supermodel that only drinks kale juice and eats raw broccoli, but everyone should stay healthy and keep up on their appearances.

14. She is fun and adventurous. Having a woman who is vivacious, energetic and driven for adventure will add a dynamic to your life that will only make you happier.

15. She loves you. This is, by far, the most important quality any woman can have. When a woman loves you she loves you with her entire heart and you should never let that go.

A good woman may be hard to find, but they do exist. If she has even three-quarters of these qualities then you've got a keeper.

Marriage and family life are the biggest inventions by humanity, for its social life; which put humanity at a higher pedestal, compared to other species. In democracy, people follow their leaders, who are more often than not, slave to sensual desires. Success in relationships demands: tolerance of others' views, accepting feminism, and striking a balance between personal ambitions and family life.

* Now-a-days, Oriental people are equally successful, and follow such stories in their lives.

Godly relations and man-made relations

2. It was a celebrity couple. Both were career conscious; thus they had to stay away from each other, quite often. The outcome -

divorce! The relationship takes a backseat; personal ambitions take priority.

* She was an adventurous lady, who joined an expedition to the highest lake in the world. Unfortunately, there was a landslide due to heavy rains, and she was among dead.

* Only her daughter went there! Godly relations stay permanent. They can't and will never desert each other.

Divorces all around!

3. Another celebrity couple, were divorced due to: ego clashes and excessive drinking by the husband. The wife looked after two daughters, who were equally successful in the glamorous world. The daughters are close to the mother, and the father is isolated in the family. One daughter is already divorced. Second daughter has married a divorced person.

* In the past, divorced persons were a minuscule minority in Oriental countries.

Male macho

4. In Oriental societies, family planning implies: invariably, wife's tubectomy is done during delivery. The husbands always think: vasectomy will affect his manhood, and avoid it.

* In case of a divorce, the courts normally favour the custody of children to the mother. The husband, after divorce can be a father again, if vasectomy is not done.

* In case the spouse dies, the husband - if without vasectomy - can become a father, when he marries again. Thus in Oriental countries, tubectomy is more popular, and vasectomy is avoided.

Relationship middle

Our stalwarts

In India, a 90 years old, successful politician - ex-Governor, and ex-Chief Minister - had to undergo a DNA test, as a youngster claimed to be his son out of an adulterous relationship, and proved it successfully.

* We know: couple of Presidents, a potential President of a developed nation, a Prime Minister, a Governor and a top professional player, who couldn't control their sensual desires. Some of them survived politically. as in their societies perjury is an offence, but illicit relationship between consenting individuals is not. But they lost the harmony in their lives, and the spouse in most of the cases.

Lessons we can learn

* Don't be a slave to sensual desires, and indulge in adultery, for harmony in the family life.

* Develop ' tolerance', and avoid ego clashes with your spouse.

* Feminism is there to stay. If you are a macho male, please see the writing on the wall.

* Optimise personal ambitions and warmth in relationships in your life. We need both in a home.

According to the Bible, God created man who will rule over the rest of His creations. On the sixth day of His Creation of the Earth, He made Adam. But when He found out that Adam is feeling lonely, He first made the animals for him; but still, Adam felt lonely. So God made him fall asleep, pulled one of his ribs, and then created Eve; and finally, Adam felt happy (Genesis 2:18-23).

Such excerpt from the Holy Scriptures tells us that man has a natural longing for a life partner, with its core concepts varying over time and across cultures and subcultures. But some people tend to become desperate in finding for their other halves - hopeless romantics as they say - to the point that their situations become worse than expected.

Going loco over having as spouse, or at least a boyfriend or girlfriend, has its own aspects similar to that of a human being. Whether a certain reason is good or bad depends on the specific aspect it is connected.

PHYSICAL ASPECT: Some women regard themselves as "damsels in distress" in need of their "knights in shining armor." In modern talk, these women prefer men of bodyguard material - tall, handsome, mature-looking, and beefy. They think of themselves as Whitney Houston in "The Bodyguard," or Adele herself. In short, these ladies expect for guys willing to be beside them most of the time - if not ALL the time.

Intimate relationships start with two people present in each other's eyes physically or virtually (over the Web). But demanding too much of physical presence to your partner, on the other hand, is not really good for you and your relationship.

MENTAL ASPECT: Whether a person is in a relationship already or not yet, too much longing for someone's physical presence can affect his/her mental health. Aside from physical dependence to his/her partner or relationship prospect, obsession can also occur wherein the person stalks the other and feels threatened to anyone the latter is meeting including immediate family members. In the case of being in a relationship already, the person can also become manipulative in all forms to his/her partner.

EMOTIONAL ASPECT: Hopeless romantics tend to show actions and reactions that cannot be easily explained and justified by themselves. The most common emotional manifestation among them is jealousy - which is somewhat acceptable in some cultures, particularly Latino and Asian, with the belief that it is just a normal thing in any intimate relationship. But the feeling of jealousy by a person of single status for his/her relationship prospect would not be a normal thing on the other hand. Such person tends to attack everyone the other meets with, including immediate family members, face to face, over the phone, and/or even on social media.

The physical, mental, and emotional aspects of desperation towards having a life partner have significant connections with each other. A person who is dependent, obsessed, and feels jealous towards the one he/she "loves" is like a lovebird with no partner. Lovebirds are designed naturally to live in pairs; and in a certain pair, if one bird dies, the other will react negatively with the situation, causing it to die also. Humans are no lovebirds - and should not be - for the earlier have actually their innate abilities to train themselves in living independently and establishing good camaraderie with others; thus good relationships would be formed.

ECONOMIC ASPECT: Wealth sharing is one of the key concepts of marriage - yet it is not an ideal and valid reason to form a marriage or even an intimate relationship. Moreover, wealth should not be the ultimate or even sole criterion for a person to choose his/her life partner.

A person who prefers someone of high socioeconomic stature (e.g. A-list celebrity, politician, high-roller) to be his/her life partner is called a social climber. Lower- to middle-class people engage into social climbing primarily to "climb" themselves up the socioeconomic strata; and relationships formed from social climbing usually have no intimacy involved. Most marriages between two people who both have high socioeconomic statuses also lack in intimacy - the ultimate goal of such marriages is to preserve the wealth and stature of themselves and their families.

SOCIAL ASPECT: The worst part of desperately getting married or being in a relationship lies on its social aspect. Peer pressure is one of the worst factors that contribute to an unhappy marriage or relationship; and its most common form is what we can call as the social deadline. By popular belief, men should get married up to their thirties, and women at their twenties, or else their chances of being single forever will become bigger. Moreover, media has (either unintentionally or deliberately) influenced tweens to enter into intimate relationships as early as their ages - which lead to juvenile pregnancies with some ending up with abortion.

Summing it all up, the biggest reason why some people are desperate to get married or be in a relationship is the need for SECURITY in all aspects. Hopeless romantics tend to become dependent to other people, go frenzy and freak out easily when undesirable things happen, and get driven easily with the "norms" of the world. The best way, according to them, to deal with these issues is to be in an "ideal" relationship and commit themselves to an "ideal" marriage - a not-so-good "idea." Lack of self-security among hopeless romantics means low self-esteem, thus having issues on inferiority.

The ideal way to treat a hopeless romantic is to have him/her realize that he/she is going the wrong path to love - simple solution but not really a piece of cake. As the popular quote goes, "It is very hard to rescue someone who does not really want to get rescued;" so it is best to get some professional help in dealing with this issue.