An', man, I was a blithe hame-comerWhan first I syndit out my rummer.Ye should hae seen me then, wi' careThe less important pairts prepare;Syne, weel contentit wi' it a',Pour in the sperrits wi' a jaw!I didnae drink, I didnae speak, -I only snowkit up the reek.I was sae pleased therein to paidle,I sat an' plowtered wi' my ladle.

An' blithe was I, the morrow's morn,To daunder through the stookit corn,And after a' my strange mishanters,Sit doun amang my ain dissenters.An', man, it was a joy to meThe pu'pit an' the pews to see,The pennies dirlin' in the plate,The elders lookin' on in state;An' 'mang the first, as it befell,Wha should I see, sir, but yoursel'

I was, and I will no deny it,At the first gliff a hantle tryit

To see yoursel' in sic a station -It seemed a doubtfu' dispensation.The feelin' was a mere digression;For shune I understood the session,An' mindin' Aiken an' M'Neil,I wondered they had dune sae weel.I saw I had mysel' to blame;For had I but remained at hame,Aiblins - though no ava' deservin' 't -They micht hae named your humble servant.

The kirk was filled, the door was steeked;Up to the pu'pit ance I keeked;I was mair pleased than I can tell -It was the minister himsel'!Proud, proud was I to see his face,After sae lang awa' frae grace.Pleased as I was, I'm no denyin'Some maitters were not edifyin';

For first I fand - an' here was news! -Mere hymn-books cockin' in the pews -A humanised abomination,Unfit for ony congregation.Syne, while I still was on the tenter,I scunnered at the new prezentor;I thocht him gesterin' an' cauld -A sair declension frae the auld.Syne, as though a' the faith was wreckit,The prayer was not what I'd exspeckit.Himsel', as it appeared to me,Was no the man he used to be.But just as I was growin' vextHe waled a maist judeecious text,An', launchin' into his prelections,Swoopt, wi' a skirl, on a' defections.