Jennifer Garner Almost Has The Pet Thing Figured Out

Imagine finally reaching adulthood and being so boring that you decide ants make okay pets. Jennifer Garner just refuses to grow up. She was so upset over her pet chicken passing away that she decided to make her new pet something that’s even harder to neglect until it dies. I’m guessing she would have gone with a pet plant but you actually have to water those or they’d suffer the same fate as her friend that escaped personally contributing to a bucket of Kentucky Fried’s finest only to die inside of Garner’s house. Pet ants are pretty much Steven Seagal in a small clear case, hard to kill. She’d probably have more fun burning them with a magnifying glass but if she believes she’s qualified to care for ants then no one can really stop her. Even though the ants’ fate was sealed as soon as she brought them inside her home. Nothing unable to speak English survives once inside Jennifer’s house. Someone pray for the housekeeper Roselinda.

The Love, Simon star, 46, shared the newest addition to her family on Monday night: ants. “New pets,” she wrote on a shot of an ant farm on her Instagram Story.

Just last month, Garner mourned the loss of her pet chicken, Regina George, who shared a name with Rachel McAdams’ Mean Girls character.

“Please enjoy this tribute to Chicken Regina George who passed away from natural causes,” Garner captioned a tribute video for the chicken that died on March 20. “#shewasourfavorite #RIP #shelivedagoodlife”

I’m wondering what’s next on Garner’s list of missed childhood activities now that pet ants have been crossed off. Maybe she can build a volcano from clay, pour peroxide, vinegar, and red food coloring all in the same hole and have a blast. The fact that she’s almost 50 and owns pet ants shouldn’t be a cause for concern. I mean, at least she doesn’t own a bunch of cats, yet.