Remember when you anticipated the holidays with real excitement? You started a countdown by weeks about the time school started and by days starting on Thanksgiving.

You loved it, the smells, sounds, familiar stories and songs, and, of course, the waiting and eventual, magical arrival.

For some, the enthusiasm has turned to weariness over time. The holidays mean more work in a busy schedule and additional expenses. They can also be reminders of what used to be, leaving us with a sense of loss.

There is a way to restore the warm and fuzzies; different to be sure, but delightful nonetheless. It just takes some planning, follow-through and letting go of expectations.

You're not 7 any more. It's time to recognize you are the holiday's architect now — the magic maker in the flesh. It can be an exciting role.

Type "avoid holiday stress" into a search engine and you'll be flooded with suggestions. Celebrities, bloggers and health practitioners all have something to say on the matter.

The sensible lists share a lot of the same suggestion, top on most "make lists" and follow through.

The lists should be tailored to you and your lifestyle.

The basic additions are holiday budget, health, and preparation. Once they're in order they need to be added to a calendar listing your usual daily activities: work requirements, kids' schedule, food shopping, etc. The way to make this a success is to make sure the time is there and set aside.

First list health, because health is so often left out of the equation.

Health

If you walk daily, visit the gym a few times a week or swim, write it on the schedule. Those routines make a big difference in keeping you even.

The same can be said for food. If you spin out of control when busy make sure to keep foods in the house that are healthy and quick. Before Thanksgiving rolls around freeze a few soups and casseroles for quick meals. You will love yourself for that later.

There are all sorts of guides for eating healthy at the holiday buffet. You know them, but it's helpful to brush up before things get crazy. Most important, eat something healthy before attending so you don't arrive hungry. Stick with the lower fat items. Opt for the least processed. And don't deny yourself a treat, just don't go overboard.

Sleep. It really needs to be part of the written schedule. A good night's sleep helps ward off stress, depression and illness. This is not the time to blow it.

The health schedule should include some time between activities. Expect the unexpected; this is real life after all. So allot some flexibility for tardiness, car problems, a conversation with a colleague, a sick child and other sincere needs, but not the whims of others. You're going to need to be frugal when adding engagements outside those on your schedule. So, learn to say no.

Finally, even if you've never practiced mindful breathing or meditation consider it now. Give yourself a few minutes of quiet before transitioning between projects, places and events. Just stop a minute, in the car, in a bathroom, or at home. Close your eyes, think about your breathing and let your muscles go. Just minutes can truly help you cope.

Budget

Next list is the holiday budget. Here is the make or break for many at the holidays. Remember the necessary magic is a new vision of the holiday. You do not need to overspend. Write it and tailor all the rest accordingly.

The holiday budget includes everything: gifts, supplies for gifts, new attire, outings, and events and their extra related costs — the WHOLE thing.

Don't make gifts about price points. Make them about something special and specific to the recipient. Consider a personal gift certificate: clean a car, baby-sit, or make a soup a month for the year.

As for food, if your budget requires something simpler than a lavish roast dinner, then that's the reality. Re-envision! Is there a favorite dish your family loves but time prohibits you preparing? Now is the time. Lasagna, (decorate the top with sliced cheese, olives and tomatoes), potpies, (with a fancy cut crust), or a make your-own-pizza event can be special. Drop your preconceived notions, think of your family's favorite foods and they won't think twice about a less expensive meal.

Holiday responsibilities

Things to consider: visits, parties, decorating, (that includes the time to haul it out or buy it), gift buying, or making and wrapping, and all events you're responsible for and their preparation.

Do not schedule more than is achievable within the time allotted. If you have a half-day to decorate be honest about what is possible. Focus on a spectacular tree and a few vases of greens.

If you are in charge of a meal, make an event sub-list. Start from the event and work backwards. Choose the menu well in advance. Remember the budget issues and suggestion above.

Consider time-saving items when designing the meal. Does it make sense to serve baked potatoes and butternut squash rather than mashed for ease? Is there a sauce, dessert, or appetizer that can be prepared in advance and frozen? Schedule the prep and follow through.

When making up any of your lists, it's important to be honest with yourself.

The Mayo clinic Web site offers a really good suggestion, perhaps the pivotal point for most: Be realistic, "The holidays don't have to be perfect." Traditions and rituals change for many reasons, we age, people move, pass away and families split. Be flexible. Create a new tradition.

If you find yourself without family, look for new way to celebrate. Help at a homeless or animal shelter, or visit those alone in a nursing home. Offer to help someone who's having a hard time juggling responsibilities. Make the holiday about discovering your own generosity.