Blog Archive

Dadvice: Is Roughhousing With Your Kids OK?

Welcome to a new ongoing feature of the NAHDN blog, Dadvice, where we ask dads what they think.

Have a question? Need some Dadvice? Curious what other dads have to say? Please send your question to blog@athomedad.org.

—

As dads we have all done this at some point. I think it is a rite of passage for most men and their kids. Roughhousing.

I know that I have been guilty of throwing my kids up as high as I possibly can and catching them, something you don’t normally see with moms. How many of us toss our children in the pool? For me and my kids, playing in this manner just comes naturally. Dad on the floor instantly means jungle gym and my kids like to jump on me.

Are they trying to hurt me? No. They are just having fun and to be honest, unless you aren’t guarding your most precious of areas there isn’t too much that can go wrong with play wrestling.

Most times our bouts end with a tickle fights and my kids learn what is appropriate and what isn’t in the process.

Recently, this video surfaced from Gavin McInnes called How To Fight a Baby, who has made a video like this before on Funny Or Die which was all made in good fun, to be funny, obviously. So why are people up in arms about this?

We asked dads to to give their Dadvice on the subject.

I think the video’s a bit edgy but the ending, where he gets his eye scratched and then has an eye bandage, is actually hilarious. And you’ll note that the bed is super soft with comforters, etc, so it’s not like the baby’s getting hurt at all. He seems to be enjoying it, actually. Lots of people think babies are like fragile little glass dolls, but they’re not, they enjoy a bit of rough and tumble from my experience. Jeez, everyone just needs to lighten up a bit. No babies were hurt in the making of this video! Reminds me of the cartoon about tossing babies in the air. The Mom won’t do it at all, the Dad wants to see how high the baby will go. 🙂

I agree with Dave on this one. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing and garnering tons of hits and faux outrage. Here we are watching a man with his child, surrounded by tons of fluffy pillows and holding his child in a way that supports his head, ensures he lands in what seem to be safe positions – all things we’ve done. There is a much greater chance of a child being hurt by swinging them by their wrists, something deemed completely acceptable. It’s not, and I’ll attach the video describing why. We did it and actually dislocated Turtle’s elbow, it’s called Nanny’s Elbow. It’s really easy to do and extremely common. Here’s the vid.

Honestly I think it is much ado about nothing. I watched it a bunch of times and he isn’t really advocating fighting the baby everything he is doing is physical play. (Barring the part where he play chokes the baby, that bit made me a little uncomfortable.) What I think should be noted is that he set up an environment that the kid wouldn’t be hurt (pillows and bed) and while the video was called how to fight a baby he was actually demonstrating physical play. Obviously he was trying to make a viral funny video so I can’t speak to his true intentions but I know I have played with my kids in a very similar fashion since they were small and it has made for good bonding with them. He kept it safe and the kid was having a good time…

Have a question? Need some Dadvice? Curious what other dads have to say? Please send your question to blog@athomedad.org.

About Chris Bernholdt

Chris Bernholdt was an art educator for ten years and has been a stay at home dad since 2008 when he first started writing his blog called DadNCharge. His focus is to empower dads with the knowledge and creativity it takes to raise children.He is the blog editor for the National At Home Dad Network and his writing has appeared on The Huffington Post, The Good Men Project, CNN iReport, and the Life of Dad website as well as TV appearances on The Today Show, Good Morning America, and Fox and Friends. He is also the co-founder of Philly Dads Group a social group for dads. He lives in a suburb of Philadelphia with his three kids and wife, Susie.

There is nothing wrong with roughhousing with your children. First it helps your bond with your children and helps develop gross motor skills. I love wrestling with both my children. When I worked in preschool we used to have a day where the children would wrestle with each other on the play mat. It very important for the development of boys and girls too. Now at home we rough house on the bed which leads to tickling and laughing and everyone jumping on each other. It important because children are going to do it anyway so should teach them the right way to do it so no one gets hurt and it important for dads to show children the way. I don’t see anything wrong with this video. The dad might have been showing off to the camera a little but other then that i think people get upset to easy. I believe that sometimes people forget to let kids be kids. Kind of sad because childhood is so short. Let your children enjoy it, And enjoy it with them!

In my opinion, roughhousing is one way dads show their love for their children. Think of it as the way a dad hugs his child. I love wrestling my kids. I’ve always been rougher than my wife and no one has ever been seriously hurt. You have to guard your family jewels well, though.

Roughhousing with your kid is one of the great pleasures of being a dad. I have been throwing, wrestling, and fighting with my son since he was tiny. He is now 11 and we sumo wrestle in the kitchen and play tackle football in the front yard, and he cannot get enough. This is closeness, togetherness, and bonding; it is also tender because when you are grappling with them it is often in a tight hold and it is hugging and usually leads to tickling and uncontrollable giggling and laughing.

I also believe that it teaches kids how to be responsibly physical with other kids. When my son and I do whatever we do, sometimes he gets dinged, sometimes I get dinged. If it hurts a little too much, we stop and deal with it, and will often talk about what happened and if it was an accident or an error in judgement. Kids will wrestle with each other and end up on the floor and I see so many kids who do not know how to control themselves, who get almost manic and end up hurting someone because their dad hasn’t shown them how to play properly. In the animal kingdom, the same dynamic is apparent among all mammals, and we are no different.

Dealing with this video, I did the same thing with my son. He was tossed and flung, spun and hurtled, and as he grew up, tackled and pinned. And if you ask him, he’ll tell you that the only problem was it didn’t happen more often.