Assalamu-alaikum everyone.insha'allah I hope that everybody is well and
with strong Iman. Ok, I had attended the sez leadership training
conference this october and I took notes on the lectures and I thought
that it would be a good idea to perhaps write about the lectures so that
those who could not attend could benefit from all the knowledge as well,
Insha'allah. I have only gotten around to writing about this lecture but I
thought that I'd send it to you all and later, when I finally do get around
to writing about the other ones, send those as well.

Insha'allah. ok,
please keep in mind that the words are solely mine and not the Imam's ,
this is a praphrased version of his lecture so if there is a problem it is
not due to the Imam but myself. Those of you who attended, if you see any
discrepancy or incorrect info, PLEASE let me know Insha'allah.
Take care everybody,may Allah SWT be with you and may He love us all,
wassalam, your sister in Islam, Syeda (Feiza)

(This was a lecture given by Imam Masri from Orlando,Fl. Ma'shallah he
spoke very well.)

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ETHICS OF DISAGREEMENT

Looking through any hadith book , I am sure that we are well aware of the
fact that the Sahaba themselves had many disagreements and differences in
opinions. Each of them would have valid points based on their own
individual interpretations which, naturally, tended to vary from person to
person. Thus from this and life itself, we can definately surmise that
disagreements are a very natural thing and that differences of opinions
are not some anomaly or a deviation from the norm. However, even though
the Sahaba would have disagreements, they would NEVER, to the best of our
knowledge, Allahu-Alim, succumb to the pettiness of belittling each other,
of being sarcastic, of hurling insults, or anything else for that matter (no
food fights for them:) ), and of taking things way out of proportion to
such an extent that the very brotherhood of the Muslims was endangered.

Today, nearly 1400 years later we all sit here, "reminiscing" on their
lives, and trying to discover the secret to their overwhelming success,
but we often times tend to forget the real reason behind it all. The sahaba
were great people, yes, but they were not superhuman beings. They
were real, as real as you or I and they all had their individual strengths
and weaknesses. What made them so successful was the fact that the Quran
for them was not simply a book to browse through occasionally when one had
time. No, to them it was a "How To " manual on life, or the written
instructions on how to fight a jihad against the self. Their attitude
thus was akin to a soldier's to their general in the midst of war: "We
hear and we obey" They felt that it was incumbent upon them to carry out
every instruction that they read and it is for this reason that so many of
them would only memorize ten ayahs of the quran at a time . Now, in
terms of disagreements, their Iman sustained them throughout and if we want
to be like them in their closeness to Allah SWt, we must keep the
following things in mind when we are disagreeing w/anyone.

1.Sincerety: Do not disagree just for the sake of disagreeing. Don't argue
just because you don't happen to like someone or something. whenever you
argue, make sure that you are sincere in your intentions and that your
intention is not to cause problems but to help your brother and sister
in Islam.

2. Patience: We must be very patient with all of our brothers and our
sisters. Do not argue over silly or trivial issues and have enough
patience to not get angry. Stay calm and sincere, remember that people
listen much more willingly when they are not being yelled at. Remember also
just how patient Allah SWT is w/ us. He did not just destroy all of
humanity whenever we did something awfully wrong, no He sent us Rasool
after Rasool, time after time, to guide us to bring us back to Him. look
in the Quran and see that when talking about Pharoah, Allah SWT tells
Moses (AS) to "speak to Pharoah a soft word" when this human actually had
the audacity of saying " I am your lord most high" !!!!! If Allah SWT can
be sooooo patient w/ an inidividual as awful as pharoah, surely our
brothers and sisters in Islam deserve atleast a fraction of our patience.

3. Tolerance and Mercy: If you disagree with someone, it is not necessary
to insult or to bombard a person. Be tolerant and merciful for you can not
force someone to agree w/you. Remember that in the Quran, Allah swt told
Rasoolallah SAW to say to the Qureish, "Hey, if I am wrong in what I
beleive and am sinning, then you are free from blame." Basically, let me do
what I want, and you do whatever you want. He never said,"Be muslim or
die." now if he could be tolerant about this extremely important issue,
just so should we be tolerant about issues much less vital. Respect other
opinions and points of views and remember that just because someone does
not agree w/ you, does not mean that they are wrong.

4. Wisdom: Prioritize issues. Ask," Is this argument REALLY worth it?"
Do not waste time arguing over unimportant issues or issues that have
already been decided by Allah SWT and Rasoolallah SAW.

5. Give sincere Naseehah(advice),which has it's own rules.

1. Be sure of your information or what you are going to say.
Verify it . Don't just assume that the person is wrong,
but make sure that you know about all the different valid
ways and possibilities of looking at an issue and that you
are 100% sure that the person is wrong and in need of
sincere Naseehah

2. Wisdom/strategy: Think about what is the best way to
change the actions of that person? What approach can/
should be used w/ the person. Everyone responds in
different ways. For some, a gentle word is enough while
with others, a more agressive approach is necessary.
However, regardless of the method, remember that your
naseeha must never be given in such a way as to hurt
anyone. For example, Hasan and Hussein (RA), grandchildren
of Rasoolallah SAW once saw an old man doing wudu
incorrectly. Though very young, they were
very perturbed and talked amongst themselves on how to
best correct their elder w/o any disrespect. So, they
decided to tell the old man that they were having a
contest between them on who could do wudu in the best way
and ask him to be their judge. The man agreed and so both
of them proceeded to do wudu exactly in the same, correct
way. The old man, realized his mistake and said," You
both are correct." Al-Humdulillah, soo much children
can teach us if we only let them.

If we follow these points while at the same time keeping Islamic
Adab (manners or conduct) in mind,especially in terms of being respectful to your elders when when disagreeing, etc, Insha'allah with Allah SWT's
help we should, atleast in this area, be just as faithful and as
successful as the Sahaba.

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Ok, dear sisters, this is all on this topic. I felt that cosidering all
the insults and all the remarks about "that was a stupid comment' etc,
that were flying around, that this was an important reminder. Anything
wrong or offensive is from myself and I ask both Allah SWT's and your
forgiveness. I luv you all very much and send you hugs, wassalam, your
loving sis in Islam, Syeda