Without New Taxes, Florida Will Crumble

COLUMN WORLD

May 29, 1992|By Bob Morris of The Sentinel Staff

If you went searching for a symbol of the quandary Florida finds itself in these days, you couldn't have found a better one than at the Greater Orlando Area Chamber of Commerce's recent business exposition.

Among the 355 exhibitors, touting everything from cellular phones and water purification systems to lawn chairs and cruises to the Bahamas, there was a simple, unadorned booth bearing a banner that said ''Fair Share for Florida.''

Two women sat at a table under the banner, imploring passers-by to stop and chat.

''Would you like to hear about Governor Chiles' tax proposal?'' asked Nancy Palmer, a Seminole County attorney.

''Care to sign this card in support of the governor's tax reform plan?'' asked Nancy Koepke, a longtime Orlando resident.

But in the sales game, the secret is location, location, location. And, unfortunately for the ''Fair Share for Florida'' people, their booth was directly across the aisle from one belonging to Sam's Club, Wal-Mart's deeper-discount warehouse. No sooner would someone stop to consider the pitch from Koepke and Palmer than an attendant at the Sam's booth would chime out: ''Care for a free cookie?''

And what would you rather do, munch chocolate chip cookies or try to stomach the thought of more taxes?

Let's just say Koepke and Palmer spent most of their time talking to each other. And Sam's sent out for more cookies.

Meanwhile . . . well, you know the mess this state now finds itself in.

The social service system is in shambles. Our prisons are so crowded that felons sentenced to 10 years behind bars become indignant if they aren't out in six months. And the schools . . . aw, don't get me started on the schools. Orange County laid off 233 teachers this week.

Uh . . . hello. Anyone home out there?

Comes now the time to choose sides, folks.

Next week, the Florida Legislature convenes a special session to approve the state budget. It will consider the tax plan set forth by Lawton Chiles, who, depending on your point of view, is either the dumbest or the bravest man in Florida.

''You hear that Lawton Chiles is off Prozac?'' goes the joke out of Tallahassee. ''He's now on Pro-Tax.''

I admire the man's gumption. By telling a state full of chocolate chip cookie eaters that they need to chew on some new taxes, Chiles might not be committing an act of political suicide. But he has loaded the gun and pointed it at his head.

This isn't to say I like everything about the governor's tax plan. The official summary is filled with the sort of double talk and poorly disguised euphemisms that make good citizens distrust politicians.

It says the tax plan ''expands the role of business'' when what it really means is that business will pay more in corporate taxes. It says the plan ''closes sales tax loopholes'' when what it really means is that some 100 additional goods and services - everything from dry cleaning and haircuts to a taxi ride and dance lessons - would be subject to sales tax.

And, in a gimmicky bone to those selfish retirees and others who don't like paying for public education when they don't have kids, it proposes to cut school property taxes in half for most homeowners. I repeat: We laid off 233 teachers last week. I'm not too keen on cutting school property taxes, even if it is promised that the money will be made up elsewhere. There are three words that make me leery of promises about supplementing education funding - the Florida Lottery.

But I'll concede this about the governor's ''Fair Share Plan.'' In a world where - in the words of another doomed politician, Jimmy Carter - ''Life is unfair,'' this seems about as fair a shake as a state living on borrowed time deserves.

After studying Chiles' tax plan I did something I haven't done in years.

I called my legislator - state Rep. Bob Starks, R-Maitland - to ask whether he backs the new taxes. Starks wasn't in, but an aide was. We had ourselves a nice, agreeable conversation in which we disagreed.

''As a Republican, Representative Starks does not support more taxes,'' she said.

''Well, as a Floridian, I want him to change his mind,'' I told her.

You know how the phone works.

Use it.

Otherwise, just keep on munching those free cookies, folks. Sooner or later, there won't be anything left but crumbs.