Contains bitterness and resentment

Last night I found an old blog back up and conjured up some trickery to make it all readable again. It’s been merged into this blog now. My history from 2005 until 2011. That’s a lot of time. I’ve been spending time reviewing my life. Almost ten years worth.
Reading back and seeing the person I used to be has been an eye opener. Someone said on The Twitter, “I bet you’ve changed loads”. More than I can express in mere words. I’m more positive, tolerant, happy. Things might be tough now but things are nowhere near as bad as they used to be. Reading back into my past I was a deeply troubled negative person for a long time. I hated my job. I hated my relationship. I hated me.

I suppose that history has taught be that things have a way of improving if you just stick. So I’m sticking. Holding. Standing in place. With a bit of luck as times passes my lot will improve just as it did in the past. All it takes is time, right?

The tagline for the old blog was “Contains bitterness and resentment”, and I’ve left that in place as a reminder. Because that was me. Bitter. Resentful. But I made it. I improved. I developed a positive outlook. I may have taken one step backwards recently, but I’m committed to making two steps forwards soon.

It’s never useful to hold onto bitterness and resentment. After all, the only person these feelings are harming is you. It is far more liberating to try and let go of these feelings, which can easily consume you, and try and be the bigger person. Things do always get better, it just takes a little while sometimes, but if you feel content within yourself, everything else about your situation will automatically seem a little easier.

I’m now in the place you were before, full of bitterness and resentment. The past 2 years have been really hard, and I’ve had a lot of set backs. It’s so hard to not be bitter when you see your life falling apart and know that there’s nothing you can do about it. For the life of me, I have no idea how to fix the broken things in my life. I know that I should be grateful for the things I have and not dwell on the things I don’t, but it’s really hard. I look forward to hearing from you this year and being able to take some inspiration from your journey.

Writing and a positive outlook cures a lot of evils. It’s good to see– no one wants to read the tale of a hero who does not grow, after all. But more importantly, bitterness and resentment, though they can be fun to read when dripping of humor and irony, do not make for good life companions. I used to hate my life too, hating my standstill, hating my relationship and the feeling of getting nowhere near where I wanted to be. I’ve let go of that hate and tried to make lists of moments that made me happy, to learn how to focus on the positive. Now, I’m more at peace. Still not quite there yet, though. But I will be.