p/s : well.things happen.when its happen its just happen.there is no way of stopping them.learn that long time ago.but.i didnt learn how to control my actions before it happens.thats what i regret now.adios...emma.i..never mind..lets just not talk right now okay?

i was thinking. alot. deeply. and trying to find a reason and the balance between the all in all. yeah. 2010 is coming. next week is starting soon. right after the next week, im going to have a new life. yeah. and there is a lot of things im gonna abandon. for example, gaming. having fun. i got a position now. things to manage. and i gotta unlearn all the unnessary things. a clean slate. thats what im looking for. gotta get serious yum. u gotta get serious. u work for this. u earn this. u definitely deserve this man. dont blew it this time. yeah no i wont blew this. no more childish acts, no more involved in deep shit hell hole with girls who dont deserve me. yeah screw you helwa ben abad. u screw my life like hell and i dont know why the fuck ur images keeps coming back in my dreams. ur giving me a hell of nightmare all these weeks. stop giving me nightmares man. i forgive u already. i forget you already. u are not suppose to resurface back in my eyes. u said u hate me. so bon-vogaye deep shit.jog on and fuck off.

so good bye to you. a very early good bye to 2009 and a welcome 2010.2009 was a hellish form of time for me. i dont know how the hell did i fucking survive in 2009. starting from a deep shit in early febuary, and till late august. leaving all the past behind. wont look back. never back down. a new man is born. today. tonite. in this room. julia and sylvia are my duchess of witness. i vowed tonite. yeah. im sorry E.Q. i dont know where am i and what i am doing while u are in need of me. i was such a jerk. i admit that. im chasing my dreams. i couldnt chase yours. i dont have much time like you do. but, please ask yourself this question, where were you when i need u the most? where were you.

-went to perak with 22 unknown people innit.too many girls and just 5 guys there (contestant)

-i sit infront.lucky the driver mind is aligned with mine.so we sing a long iklim's songs.he say i got a great voice.yeah pakcik,i had.but i need better and proper training :D

-there is a dude,he's trying to act cool and trying so hard to join us singing and trying so hard to get the girls attention,i'd say.ada jugak org mcm ni.bukan apa.just...annoyed.dah la tak tau nyanyi.u shud stay put and listen the old man do the job.not like humming 'mmmhmmm bla bla bla'.dumb ass.perosak lagu.

day two.ahad.

day:

-arrived there as early as 5 am.crap.singgah si masjid.semayang subuh sana.

-before magrib,ada taklimat.we got a change in plan.so we packup,and we went to the nearest settlement.yeah.finally.there's electricity.i can charge the laptop.finally.god listen to my prayings.haha.

-1st LDK.the game name is black dots.its about the bad past time we had,and it acts like a black dot in ur life and how does the black dot change ur life in to the life ur having now.again.i lied.and sumhow a conflict happens.i was in a middle of quarrel with this one big time loser facilitator.my killing intention is reaching the limit.blood was boiling.i was holding my knuckle.still,i nearly lose it.i manage to hold back.he's just..lucky to be alive till now.

day four.tuesday.

day.

-cave exploring at gua datok.near death experience here.i was stuck under river cave.damn due to my extra size i was stuck.hahaa.damn i had claustrophobia (i cant stand in a tight and dark situation,i cant breathe).i keep myself calm and manage to escape from that hell hole.sigh sigh =.=.

night.

-there will be another LDK and ceramah again tonite.i dont think i wud listen on that.i might be as well put on my earphone and playing FF:Dissidia as well.

pegi pusing kl shirtless from my place to bulatan pahang,baling mercun to those bapoks and nyahs,singing all the way from dataran abd samad like a possessed son of a gun,main gila dgn road blocks ulang alik 3-4 kali,pegi main arcades,buat a new record by beating the game under 10 minutes, helping langao main game throw in tu till dapat 355 marks,going to karoke,snooker,shisha-ing and watch arsenal vs az akkmaar.yeah thats not all,tmr we gonna have a recoding of SNSD - gee dance show,hahaha mcm banganggg.gangsta rap mengejek "wak dol" and some several people too.yeah.breaking the limit sebagai manusia normal.

uh when i was at mines, aku nampak PSP limited edition.damn nice.FINAL FANTASY DISSIDIA PUNYA COVER SET AND ORIGINAL GAME.FUWAH AND I SCREAM LIKE CRAZY THERE FOR 5 MINS haha. here.take a look :

bapak nice nyeeee.kale putih ada lambang cosmos dgn chaos kat seblah.

ada card yg ada sign 20 chars dissidia sendiri, ada power cards, ada original games, and perhaps ada special battlegen dgn special items, argh UMD dia pon ori.OMG OMG its a must have for a gamer like me.its just a perfect gift,or present uwa uwa.