Dear Universe: I have to tell someone. Financially adverse events have occurred in my life, and I reached out and asked my two sisters, one older, one younger, both wealthy if they could assist me financially. Each of them said no.

As a result, after I had secured employment at a very prestigious firm, I checked into a homeless shelter for the night because all I had left, after selling everything of value, was a dollar and change.

The homeless shelter accepted me as a resident, and I stayed at that facility for almost three months until I had the resources to pay a month’s rent plus deposit.

I know my sisters have no experience of what it is like to lay down with at last 100 other men, women and children on a 2″ mattress, fully clothed, only to be woken throughout the night with contention, snoring, and children crying.

I could go on, but I would be spinning my wheels.

I believe that you are no one if you do not have a family; Universe: How do I go on? I now have my small apartment. I am strong, and I am getting stronger.

However, I firmly believe that you have nothing if you do not have a family.

Those that I have left have made it clear that they do not want anything to do with me. What should I do?

I can imagine how you feel. I too have lost much of my family and I feel so sad sometimes. My brothers came back with PTSD from the war and won’t talk to anyone in the family or their friends.

So I put them in (visualizing Gods cupped hands) in God’s hands and wish so much for them to come back to their balanced and Spiritual Selves.

Pray for your sisters, do you see how lost they are? Pray believing that one day they will understand that forgiveness is for their own benefit and not yours and in that realization, they will reach out to you again.

I wish you so much Love and Light. Continue to live every day to the utmost level of JOY and know that all the Angels and Our Fathers in all the Heavens that surround us are rejoicing and celebrating your triumphs with you every day. These comments are for your comfort, but they are also TRUE.

Stay in Joy and you will receive much love and support from others, and the Angels and Our Father, who rejoice and sing our praises for having come into existence, as Courageous Souls, to bravely experience this World, in this plane of existence, at this time.

Keep reminding yourself of this, because it will take the sadness away every time you do, and finally you will know it deeply in your Heart.

Friends are the family you choose! Don’t dwell on those who shut you out, instead find (or renew) relationships that nurture you outside of your relatives, and make those people the ones closest to your heart.

You sound like an amazing, determined person and I know you’ll find your circle! 🙂

What should you do? I’d Google: self-love and begin building a loving relationship within myself. In ACOA (adult children of alcoholics), we are taught to become our own LOVING PARENT to replace the lack or emptiness we experienced as children of sick parents.

We are told over and over how important family is, but being born into it doesn’t make it a family. If that was the case then what about those that start out with no family? Or those that are adopted? Are they any less of people? Of course not. 🙂 And neither are you.

The sad truth is that while the family you were born into should have cared more, they didn’t. They had so many of their own issues that they can’t actually care of others. I am betting their ‘caring’ is usually fake and in some way self-serving.

My family is like that. It took me a really long time to accept the fact that stepping away from them wasn’t something bad on my part. No matter how much people would say well they are your family, only through blood, not through choice. I was always there for them. Always. But it was not the other way around. This is no different than any other abusive and controlling relationship.

If they weren’t related to you, you would never put up with this, so why do it now?

Let it go.

Then you will have room in your life to allow for people that you deserve. People that can become your family. 🙂

I wish you so much luck in this. They don’t deserve you, and it is time you realized you deserve to be happy.

It would have been nice, and the right thing to do, had your sisters helped you. However, the sad truth is, nobody owes you anything.

I try to live my life, right or wrong, without any expectations from anyone. If someone is there for me, great. I will never forget the support from others. Sometimes strangers can be the most helpful while those closest to us are nowhere to be found, and that’s ok too.

You never know what others are really going through, even though outwardly everything may look great to you. If you help someone out, you do that without any strings attached. You do it because that’s who you are, not for recognition or expecting help from them in the future because you helped them. Live without expectations from others and you will never be hurt, angry, depressed, etc. No bruised ego to be concerned with. Let it go.

There are great lessons learned and rewards when we face adversity head on and come out the better for it. We learn things about ourselves, just how strong we really are. I will gladly take help if offered, but I know things will work out as best they can if I go it alone. No worries, this too shall pass, and new lessons will be learned.

Please don’t hold a grudge against your sisters. Take the high road. If they should ask you for help one day and you find yourself in a position where you can help, please do so, as long as it’s coming from your heart. There might be a lesson there for them to learn.

Let me start off by saying I think that’s crazy! One day things may turn and they may need your help, then you’ll be in a position to give it to them and show them how we should treat each other.

I don’t have much money but would offer any help I could.

I think you may have proved yourself wrong. You say “I have nothing without family” but look at you go now. You do have someone, yourself, and you’re out of the shelter into an apartment, a huge achievement in my book.

I am really sorry you had to endure that pain. I haven’t been homeless but I have siblings and a mother with whom I have no relationship with, and not for my lack of effort. I’ve never felt as if I belonged in this family and they’ve always treated me as if I never belonged.

Over the years, I’ve done things to help all of them but when it was I who was in need, I was stabbed in the back by each of them, so I chose to cut myself off and shut the door on them. It used to hurt me the way I was treated but now I just act as if they don’t exist and just live my life each day knowing that with the exception of a brother who went through the same as I, we don’t have any other siblings.

It’s been a long painful road before I came to terms with how I chose to continue my life but I look at it this way: no one ever did anything for me. Everything I have is by my own hand. No one can take it away and I am responsible for my own destiny. You are so much stronger than you can see right now but you have made it. And you will continue to make it. You should feel great about that. And, by the way, I don’t agree with some of the other posters who indicate that you should forgive and forget how your family left you out in the cold when you needed them the most. They treated you worse than a stranger. If it were me, I would continue looking up and refuse to have anything to do with the family. They obviously don’t have a clue as to what family is all about. But that’s just me. Good luck to you!

This may sound a bit harsh, and it’s hard to say without knowing your full “back story”, but I think you should start by taking responsibility for your own life, and your actions that have led to your financial difficulties.

Your sisters are not responsible for you, they don’t owe you anything. Loving someone does not mean you support them financially or are obligated to provide for them, and no one should expect to receive something from someone in order to know they care about you.

I speak from experience of being on the other side. I was the sister whose kindness and generosity was taken advantage of with no concern for my own family’s sacrifice when I took in my homeless and jobless sister. Months later, she still has made no progress toward moving out on her own, securing employment, or contributing to our household in any way.

I’ve since realized that by being there to support my sister during her period of weakness, I have inadvertently been enabling her to continue being weak and helpless, as she is now living quite comfortably off of us with no reason to take action to fix her own life.

What your sisters did for you is a gift, it’s called “tough love”, and it may have been the best thing that could’ve happened to you if it forced you to become strong and independent. And trust me, they call it tough love for a reason, it isn’t an easy thing to do, as my current situation so clearly demonstrates.

I desperately want my sister to grow up, toughen up, get a job, stop depending on us, and MOVE OUT, but I have yet to force her out because it is such an incredibly hard thing to do. But if I could do it over again, I never would’ve allowed her to come stay in the first place, and by now she would probably be back on her feet and our relationship could be saved. Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen, as I don’t think it will ever be possible for me to have a healthy adult relationship with my sister, “the taker”, after this.

I appreciated you sharing your life’s experience. I see you have been well educated, that rewarded you with a good job. And by not receiving money from your siblings forced you to seek a place to sleep at a shelter. This tells me you lived in comfort surrounded by lots of material items we take for granted every day!

Your motto is “you have nothing if you do not have family” well you do have family, your 2 Sisters whom you should thank for introducing you to hundreds of newly found extended family you shared a roof with for 3 months!

You see, you have experienced a life changing event with others that you may have looked down on at one time or another.

I admire you very much, you have lived life at a level probably most would never understand. This will make you wiser, I’m pretty sure your saving up extra funds and you tell yourself I will never be in that situation again! Good luck, God Speed Penny.

Big Larry

Oh! P.S. Next month your extended family might be hungry for a Turkey Dinner. You know what to do! 🙂

Like it or not, some people, no matter if you are in desperate need or not, and have never ever sought help before, will not help. I have family like that. I am the one who is always there when they call for help. But the one time I needed help, they wouldn’t help me. I had to seek assistance elsewhere.

Not everyone who is asking for help is doing so from a place of poor me, fix it for me. Which is what some here seem to be saying.

Like it or not, there are actually selfish people out there who wouldn’t pour water on you if you were on fire.

My oldest daughter died 10 years ago next month. She would be 28 this month. My family, when I was still actually in contact with them, were told what happened. I was, and still am, devastated. I asked for help then, it was a tough time and a horrible situation. They didn’t help. Strangers, people we knew only in passing, and friends were there for us.

A great example is an older woman we used to see sometimes on the bus, we hadn’t seen in a while. I didn’t go out much unless I had to at that time. Well the next time we saw her the first thing she asked after saying hi, was where is your other daughter? I explained and she cried and hugged me and my younger daughter. My own family didn’t do that.

I have met and dealt with the people who are always breaking down and always taking the wrong road then asking you to fix it or clean it up for them. But it is quite sad to see here that many are jaded by this and don’t see that not everyone asking for help is that way.

Asking for help when you really need it, is a sign of strength, not weakness. Just as saying no is when a person is continually asking you to fix things for them is also a sign of strength. You just have to not lump them together.

You have got everything you need to make a change. Start from scratch. You are and have what you are focused on. Why is this happening to me? Universe responds. You attract it by simply thinking about what it is you don’t want or what you don’t have. You are already helping yourself by reaching out here, do I only see this?

You are strong and wise. Think positive thoughts, find good and beauty around you every day and be thankful for what you have.

If you are balanced and accept all and be loving and kind you will receive it back. The more you give unconditionally “no matter what circumstances” the more good will rush back to you. Be grateful and enjoy every moment now.

Zac, it isn’t the different opinions that bother me. Personally I love debates and can debate either side of a situation, whether I agree with it or not.

What I didn’t care for was any message being not just ‘this is what I think of things’ opinion, in some cases, but where subtle personal assaults and judgments are involved. Judgment and opinion are not the same thing. One can try and mask things all they want, but that doesn’t mean no one is going to notice.

That is the kind of thing I don’t care for. Perhaps I should have worded it differently. 🙂