Granted I can’t see the shards that pierce your heart ; But I can feel the pain.
Don’t sit there all alone on the island of your sorrow ; Hold my hand.
I promise I won’t ask anything – the pregnant silence has a story to tell.
Let’s just sit here together and care and share.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Here are the symptoms : increased heart rate, lots of perspiration, body hotting up and a general feeling of giddiness.

No prizes for guessing. You may either be sick or at the casino.

The last week has been crazy. I was down with fever for two days. Experts say that its good to have fever once in a while. It increases your resistance. They do not have a clue about what they are saying. My resistance is totally broken.

Perhaps that’s why against all common sense I accepted the invitation to go to Miccosukee, a delightful casino near Miami. I should have said no. one important reason being that I am still recovering. I just don’t feel any energy. The other but more important reason is I have no money.

Incidentally , the radio in the car was playing an old Kenny Roger song, “ The Gambler”.

Let's accept it. Miccosukee is no Ceasar's Palace or the Taj Mahal.

Yet the place is not very cheap. Even if you play the cheapest slotting machine, its still $0.80 / spin. The machines are pretty complicated too. The cards game were tempting. But as I said I am busted.

I looked around and wondered if the recession has really hit us. It hit me for sure.

I kept losing. and kept playing. and all the symptoms described above showed.

I was down and out.

But wait. suddenly my luck changed and i started winning.

The machine jingled music. I counted.

On an impulse , I did the unexpected. I had made $20 extra. so I printed my cash ticket, encashed my money and just walked away.

I have never ever won anything. The last time we visited Atlantic City , I had won a jackpot. And yet when we came out of the casino two days later, bleary eyed and sapped , I was poorer by a neat $1000.00.

I remembered what the witty old lady sitting next to me had said when I won the jackpot , “ Run honey. These are money sucking machines. Run as fast as you can. And you will be the first one to have made money. But I know you won’t. you will still be here till you have spent your last dollar.”

How prophetic.

Well call me a coward. Laugh on my misery. Say anything you like.

It was a victory of sorts. The nut finally screwed and bolted! ( gross?! Rememeber I am a Mechanical Engineer! that's the only language I speak)