Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Catching Up with Dara Fisher on Religion, being a "Gayby" and just how great her Gaydar is.

Sorry for
being gone so long!We've had a heck of
a life transition lately and unfortunately, my writing had to go on the back
burner.In July, my better half had
weight loss surgery and as of this writing, is down nearly 80 pounds.On top of that, my school schedule this
semester has been pretty labor intensive and then there are those three kids
that keep eating my food and leaving messes around the house.I officially have a teenager now and he is
making sure I know it.I don't mind him
getting older but I wish he'd quit dragging me along with him.

I have had
some amazing, life altering experiences over the past few months.To be honest, I've spent a lot of my quiet
moments reflecting on my life and the role I play in this World.I work in a hotel and I have gay couples who
check in often.Recently, we had a group
of our Marines return home from Afghanistan.A lovely lesbian couple came into the hotel to check in and I could tell
from their body language that they were trying to keep a distance from each
other in an effort to avoid being detected.I have seen this happen quite a few times but I knew instantly how to
address the issue.I smiled as I checked
them in and when it came down to make the room keys, I addressed both ladies as
“Mrs. Smith” because I had noticed they were both wearing wedding rings and
also came from a state in which gay marriage was legal.It was as if a huge weight had been lifted
off their shoulders.They became chatty
and told me that they were in our area to welcome their son home from
Afghanistan.They asked me how I knew
they were a married couple and I told them I was born with the ability to see
love in all it's forms.I also added
that gaydar comes as part of the standard package when you have gay
parents.The next day, their son came
into my office to thank me for making his Mom's feel welcome and he wanted to
meet me because he was surprised to find another “gayby” that was in our age
group.It's always interesting to meet
other children of gay parents because we all have a tendency to be really
wonderful people.I have yet to meet
another gay family child that isn't absolutely awesome.We tend to have a different outlook on life
and as a result, we are open, loving, and funny people.I don't get to meet very many of us simply
because the whole gay family thing is relatively new.Those of us who are adults grew up as a
specialty thing.For all of you who are
raising children right now, I can't wait to see what the next 20 years has to
offer.I joke all the time that “we” are
going mainstream.I honestly believe our
next generation is going to be the best one yet.The children you are raising right now are
going to be the voices of their generation.They aren't going to be the minority, they are going to be part of the
norm.Rather than a young man getting
excited about meeting another kid from a gay family, it's going to be, “You too
huh?”

I had
another experience this summer that really touched my heart too.I met a gay man who I instantly clicked
with.He spent a few days in our local
area, and over that time we had some really great conversations.I also experienced for the first time the
sadness that being gay can cause in someone's life.This man was a beautiful soul.He was suffering through some health issues
because of his past history and anxiety was hampering his life.I could see that he had a vibrant personality
but that struggles with his sexuality had left him hurting.It was a strange experience for me because I
have never had to deal with homosexuality being a difficult issue, at least
within my family.I was born into the
gay community and my parents along with their friends were always a source of
love and acceptance.You read all these
stories about parents that disown their kids because they are gay but I've
never seen the outcome of it.Now I have
and it absolutely broke my heart!I felt
so angry, almost to the point of rage when he told me about what he had to go
through with his parents.Not only was
he estranged from his parents, he lived in fear of physical violence from his
father because he was gay.As a Mom, I
just can't fathom how a parent could treat their child like that.I love my babies.I love my babies with a fierceness and
dedication that knows no boundaries.I
love every single thing about each one of them from the top of their head to
the stinky toes they put in their shoes!They drive me up the wall sometimes but I love their independence and
the fact that they can think for themselves and express their opinion.There is nothing that could ever change
that.The idea that a child should be
shunned for being gay is out of my comprehension.This man was an adult, older than me in fact,
but when it comes to parental relationships, we are always children.This man was missing a key relationship in
his life and it was causing him physical harm.I don't understand.I just don't
understand.I've always felt that I was the
luckiest woman in the World because not only was I blessed with my children,
but God thought enough of me to trust me to protect these beautiful little
people.The majority of these parents
that disown their children do it because their religion tells them that being
gay is a crime against God.I am a
Christian (Quit laughing!) and I feel that God created homosexuals just as he
created me.I am the first one to admit
that I can be a bit high on the horse but I would never, ever, question God and
his creations.

I am also
dealing with a weird situation with my youngest son.MJ is 4 and attends a local Christian
preschool.I love the school and his
teachers but I really don't want my son involved in organized religion.Unfortunately, we don't have any preschools
in our area that aren't religion based that our son is eligible for because of
our income.The husband and I have had
quite a few arguments about MJ attending a religious school and I think we have
finally found a meeting point.I don't
want MJ going to a school that is based in religion because he is part of a gay
family.Organized religion has a
tendency to give us “sinners” anxiety problems and I don't want my baby to go
through that.I'm also not a big fan of
letting our son think that he is better than other kids his age simply because
he goes to a school that cost money and somehow gives off the feeling of
“exclusivity.”I understand parents
wanting their children to have the best of the best but I want my children to
grow up knowing equality, empathy, and pride in their achievements.I don't intend to turn a child out into the
World thinking they are better than anyone else.Of course, I also don't believe that children
who go to private schools turn out that way either.Those character flaws are usually based in
how the child is raised, not what school cashed their parents check.Anyway, the long winded point is some of the
issues that have come up with my son attending a religious school.Last Christmas my little boy came home very
excited because they were doing a Christmas play and he had been told to bring
his whole family. They had also told the children to bring their family to
Christmas morning service.Of course, I
just started laughing because when they told these toddlers to make sure they
brought their family, they didn't know what MJ was going to come through that
door with!Knowing that our family would
probably cause a scene, I opted to not attend the Christmas day service because
I won't worship in a place where people like us aren't welcome.I got a lot of negative feedback for that
decision but I stand on it and will again this year.I worry a lot about what type of information
MJ is getting at school.I know that a
religious school is going to teach their beliefs to the children and I fret a
lot about MJ being taught that his family is destined for the fire pits of
hell.Last week I was driving MJ to
school with my daughter and from the backseat MJ said, “It's weird that I have
two Grandpa's in one house”I felt my
heart drop because I knew exactly what my son was trying to say.We were discussing our annual Thanksgiving
trip to visit Papa and Grandpa and my 4 year old was expressing that he felt
weird about having Grandpa's that were together.Before I even had a chance to respond, my
daughter got angry and said, “It's not weird!Don't say that about Papa and Grandpa!”I didn't have an immediate response because I was driving and trying to
get my daughter off the ceiling of the car but I knew it was something I had
messed up.You see, my two oldest
children have always known Papa and Grandpa were gay.It was something that was part of their every
day lives so there was never a weirdness about it.MJ on the other hand has not lived around his
two Grandpa's on a daily basis.Dad and
Richard live a few hours away and have since before MJ was born.His Grandpa's are there for the Holidays but
not part of his daily life.His paternal
Grandpa and Grandma see him almost every day and he spends as much time with
them as he does with us.Obviously,
MJ's idea of what a “normal” family is would be based on what he sees.I couldn't tell a toddler that he was wrong
in thinking it was weird because it's not wrong.Two Grandpa's is weird to a child who sees Grandparents
as a Grandpa and a Grandma.In the end I
just asked him if he loves his Papa Norman...yes...okay...good...do you love
your Grandpa Richard?Yes!Okay....good.Well then, guess that deals with that problem.I'm still hashing over this situation but for
the time being, we're just going to stick with this solution.Our family is blessed because we meld so
well.My husband's parents and my
parents get along very well.I adore my
in laws and my parents love my husband.When I was a kid, I wondered a lot how I was ever going to get married
and have a family with parents like mine.I'm really glad that was just another one of my pointless concerns.

Dara Fisher. A 33 year old Mother of 3 amazing children with her Prince Charming Keith.

They live right outside of Palm Springs, California. Dara has degrees in Anthropology, Liberal Arts, and Business Administration. She works full time in the Hospitality Industry and attends college classes in pursuit of her MBA when she's not busy being Super Mom. She spend her spare time crocheting, quilting, and making a mess with pretty much anything she can get my hands into. She is a huge Doctor Whofan and can't eat while watching The Walking Dead. Oh and she also happens to be the daughter of gay parents and the Mother of a child with Asbergers Syndrome and ADHD

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About Me

henry amador is a leader, an artist, a traveller, a husband, a father, a healer, a life coach, a thinker, a gypsy, a pacifist, a lover, a yogi, a "buddha", a listener, a spaniard, a wedding officiant, a philosopher, a nudge, a writer, a fly-on-the-wall, a son, a dreamer, a shoe fanatic, a sage, a fashionable man-about-town, a storyteller, a man-of-action, an ego-maniac, a human, a nurturer, a beach bum, a worrier, a gardener, a mystic, a believer...and so much more.