Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

How to move on????

It has been 13 years since the last time my grandfather abused me but I am still so mad!! It wasn't delt with properly by my parents and I feel like I am really suffering now in my adult years because I just surpressed it until recentley and now I feel mad at the world. He died suddenly 3 years ago and and all I kept saying is what goes around comes around. My mother kept asking me how I felt the whole way through the funeral and lets just say I didn't shed any tears I was there for my family not for me!!!! I want to be able to get over this anger that I have but I don't even know where to begin. I feel like being sick when I start to think about it there are so many people I tried to reach out for help to when it was happening and I felt ignored!!Like I didn't matter and now I am almost 26 and I still feel unimportant and unworthy of happiness!!!! Can anyone offer any opinions on where I can even begin to start healing? I feel so lost in my life right now!!!!!!

Start counceling! It will help make sense of some of your anger and help you move on. Start while you are feeling the emotions of the past. What ever you do, dont isolate yourself and let yourself cry when you feel like crying or angry when you are angry. I made the mistake of isolating myself and ignoring/numbing my feelings. My mother didn't get me the help I needed. It was stopped when I told her but there was no emotional support available to me. How did your family deal with the announcement of your abuse? Did you ever confront your grandfather?

It really helps to write. Write everything down. Write images that come to your mind... I wrote a hole poem about a stone wheel... it didn't make sense at the time, but it was the image that was in my head and I felt strangely relieved afterword. A HUGE help to me was writing letters. You don't have to actually give anyone these letters, they are for your benefit, not theres. Write what you felt, how you feel now, the anger and betrayal you feel, everything. Write to your grandfather, and individual letters to those who ignored it. You'll be ok hun. Hang in there, and let me know if you want to talk. I'm here for you and so are many others on here. Now is the time to get the attention, validation, concern, and healing understanding that you did not get at the time. Remember that you are in control now. You are an adult and don't need anyone to save you. Let the abused little girl inside of you know that she is safe now and that you are going to take care of her... if that makes sense.

First of all, I have to tell you I am amazed by your strength. I never allowed myself to feel anger for decades, took nearly 3 years to get to the point where I could express the anger I had. If you haven't had any therapy for it, then get some. I know I could never have moved on until I dealt with it. I spent 30 years trying to move on by ignoring it, and that was a complete disaster. I still get triggered when people make me feel like I don't matter. Maybe the people you approached for help were terrified by whay you were trying to tell them. For someone that didn't have it happen to them, they often need to deny or minimize because they can't deal with it. I really think if you want to be even partially free of your demons, get therapy. It's a hard battle, you have to walk throught the pain so to speak, but the other side is so much better. Good luck!

It has been 10 years since my dad has touched me &amp; i am starting to face some of my anger, sadness, emptiness etc about it &amp; i am having the same feelings. I was numb about it for a loooong time &amp; now i am ready to face it &amp; am not dealing well. I feel like NO ONE understands me. My husband is taking it personally, my mom prefers not to discuss it &amp; she told me that it's not my place to punish him. I don't want to punish him, but i do want him to acknowledge what he did apologize or something. I feel extremely alone right now &amp; also feelunimportant &amp; unworth of happiness. I was in therapy for 3 years (from 98-2001) but i avoided alot &amp; my counselor then really didn't help me. I have been to another counselor for about a year now &amp; have sort of made progress. For several months, i misunderstood my feelings as unhappiness with my husband, but now i am realizing that my unhappiness &amp; anger is about my abuse. I am starting to let some anger out, but also feel like i don't know what to do. I have spend the past 10 years seeing my dad sporatically, but pretending everything was fine &amp; dandy. I DON'T WANT TO PRETEND ANYMORE - it makes me feel like i am not alive, but not dead.

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