This House Would Clone Extinct Species

The 23rd Ordinary Meeting of the Literary and Scientific Society took place on the 8th of May in the Senate Room and was attended by 30 members. Private Member’s Business saw the wild President Kydd succumb to the Society Laws and pay his fine of one bottle of port to the House for breaking the rules. The Secretary of the Society however thought that the President’s crimes were far too many and too frequent to just let it slide with one fine and instead, with the Society’s best interests at heart and definitely not because she thought it would be funny, brought it to the House that we suspend President Kydd for 24 hours and to replace him the one E. Literificat Godkin. It was a close call but ultimately the House was swayed by President Kydd’s blatant lies and he was allowed to stay. Then he left to go to a concert and I took over. I should probably mention that this was all also videoed. Aye.

We then went to the debate, the motion was This House Would Clone Extinct Species.

Viorel Vlad opened the case for the proposition. He argued that cloning extinct species would improve our understanding of science and would have unexpected benefits on it. He said that many aspects of biology being researched are linked and come together and we won’t know how much we can achieve until we do something. While some might say we shouldn’t play God, we have already done so and should just go with it as new technology is nature taking its course.

Nic Brinza opened for the opposition with his maiden speech. He admitted that in the past he got caught up in the awesome prospect of having pet dinosaur but that this just showed our susceptibility to only seeing the good but ignoring the dangers. He talked about the imperfections of cloning and how we could bring back a species but it would be a gross imitation rather than the real thing. He said the dangers outweigh the benefits, something about bowchickawowow and chickens and that we shouldn’t make a species suffer in an environment that would now be unsuitable.

Owen Wright continued for the proposition. He said that by cloning extinct species we would rectify some of humanities mistakes. By increasing biodiversity we could be lead to medical cures. The half-life of DNA would make it impossible to clone some of the more interesting animals, such as dinosaurs, so the species that could be brought back would have a relatively high affinity for our environment. Then I fined James McAlister a bottle of port that I doubt I will never see.

Nick Millington continued for the opposition. He told the House that all cloning extinct species would do was to perfect the technique, but that our environment would gain nothing by bringing a species back. He asked how we would go about making a large enough population for breeding and that either way it would result in no increase in numbers. He asked what the point in bringing a species back would be if they were not able to change and adapt.

Beth Malcomson then closed for the proposition with her maiden speech. She said that the fact it is possible is reason enough to clone and that it is a process that will constantly improve. She said it was our responsibility to bring back species but that it should be a heavily regulated process. As well as this, research into past species could aid in new cures and processes. She said that cost should not be a factor as past science projects were expensive to begin with but then became cheap.

Derek Crosby closed the debate. He told the House that we could not be trusted to bring a species back. As for feelings of obligation, he argued that other conditions besides us played a part in making certain species extinct. Instead of encouraging scientists to bring back the dead he determined they should be working on super animals. Then there was stuff about cloning angering God and that’s why he hit dinosaurs with a giant rock and some stuff about humans being a hardcore species covered in the hide of others.

The debate then went to the floor. Questions were heard from James McAllister, Conor Hayes, Cap’n Gallagher, Josh Watts, Ryan Jones and Christine Fleming. They were kind of weird and for some reason were about what political party the extinct animals would follow. I’ve also chosen to ignore all the Jurassic Park references from this debate.

We then went to a vote and the motion passed with 15 ayes, 7 nayes and 3 absentions.