QuoteReplyTopic: A GOOD Horror Movie? In 2009?!?!? Posted: September 29 2009 at 3:38am

BEFORE MOVIEWIZEGUY GOES BALLISTIC ON US -- THIS WEAK, WE'RE ACTUALLY HIGHLIGHTING WHAT LOOKS LIKE a GOOD MOVIE for a CHANGE...

IN a YEAR CLUTTERED with the CORPSES of CRAPPY HORROR MOVIE REMAKES, RIP-OFFS and "RE-IMAGININGS," ZOMBIELAND STANDS OUT LIKE...WELL, a ZOMBIE at an AFTERNOON WEDDING.

WITH PROMOs THAT ACTUALLY ELICIT LAUGHING OUT LOUD in FRONT of YOUR TV, a PERFORMANCE from 1993 WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR "WINNER"WOODY HARRELSON THAT MAY REVIVE HIS LONG DORMANT CAREER, a SCRIPT and DIRECTOR WITH a SIMILARLY WICKED SENSE of HUMOR to the ONE THAT MADE SHAUN OF THE DEAD ONE of OUR BERRY FAVORITE MOVIES of the LAST 10 YEARS, and REVIEWS ANY LIVING DEAD MOVIE WOULD KILL for, ZOMBIELAND LOOKS LIKE IT SHOULD BE a BOX OFFICE WINNER...

BUT WILL IT BE? WITH AUDIENCES INURED by the WITLESS GARBAGE and MINDLESS GORE HOLLYWOOD's BEEN PUMPING OUT LIKE SO MANY BLOOD SAUSAGES THIS YEAR, WILL MALL RAT MOVIE-GOERS (TINSEL TOWN's TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC) EVEN RECOGNIZE a WORTHY MOVIE WHEN IT COMES ALONG??

TO OFFER YOUR THEORIES as to the LIKELY FATE of ZOMBIELAND, LOG-ON and WEIGH IN BELOW...

Will the same clowns who've shown up for every sh*tty horror movie that's come out so far this year buy tickets for this one?!?

Ah, now see, if MWG claims that he watches slasher movies just to laugh at the cliches, than this is the movie for him, because it's all about poking fun at the cliches. I mean, if you claim that horror movies make you laugh, why pay money to see the cliches? Instead, you should be paying money to see the parody movies that make fun of the cliches.

But I have a theory. MWG mentioned he saw "Scream" at age 7. I think that is very important because I think the earlier in life you watch horror and slasher movies, the less put off you are by violence. Heck, I'll go as far as to say some people who see it too young might end up turned on by the violence. Believe me, I have read forums posts about people who thought the organ removal scene from that movie "Turitas" was "sexy". Freaks!

Me, I remember the scene from "Raider Of The Lost Ark" where the bad guys' faces melting off scared me. Now that I'm much older, I don't find gore in movies as funny or scary, just uncalled for and all about shock value.

I'm sure the "clowns" will show up in droves and eagerly hand over their 10 bucks for an 81 minute movie. Undoubtedly they'll leave satisfied, although it is interesting that all the early reviews for this film are positive but all are coming from sources generally favorable to this type of film. It'll find its audience, but count me out.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken

Well, I don't actually go to theaters to see slashers. I wait until they get cheap on DVD.

Originally posted by Michaels

Ah, now see, if MWG claims that he watches slasher movies just to laugh at the cliches, than this is the movie for him, because it's all about poking fun at the cliches. I mean, if you claim that horror movies make you laugh, why pay money to see the cliches? Instead, you should be paying money to see the parody movies that make fun of the cliches.

Parents of kids these days watched "The Exorcist," "Poltergeist," and "Jaws" when they were young. I don't see the difference. And no, even though I was terrified of Chucky and Nightmare on Elm St., I was still wincing at the organ removal scene in "Turistas." And the death scenes in "The Happening" also caused me to turn my head back.

But I have a theory. MWG mentioned he saw "Scream" at age 7. I think that is very important because I think the earlier in life you watch horror and slasher movies, the less put off you are by violence. Heck, I'll go as far as to say some people who see it too young might end up turned on by the violence. Believe me, I have read forums posts about people who thought the organ removal scene from that movie "Turitas" was "sexy". Freaks!

I searched up the running time because I thought the 81 minutes thing was a joke. Well, apparently, it isn't. I find this extremely underwhelming, feeling the same way with "The Final Destination" 82 minute running time. I'd expected 100 minutes at least.

Wow, if there is one thing that truly amazes me about MWG, it's how he can turn any thread into a discussion about what movies he likes. If there was ever a "horror" movie that could provoke laughs from its death scenes, it's "The Happening". Now those were deaths that were so stupid, you had to laugh! Come on, the quickest way to kill yourself is to turn on a lawn mower, lie down and WAIT for it to turn around and run you over? Or better yet, feed yourself to a lion, who will rip your arms off ... which they don't do in real life (they always go for the back of the neck and kill their prey with a vice grip before eating).

As for the running time, Kevin Smith once said all comedies are best when they are 90 minutes or under, otherwise the movie will drag on for too long without laughs.

"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie ... but, no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life." ("Easy A", 2010)

Perhaps one of these days you'll get around to the realization that I make every effort to make my posts factually accurate. That doesn't mean that occasionally I do not make mistakes (to which I readily admit on discovery) or receive errant information. But checking on running times for films is a rather straightforward proposition.

Originally posted by moviewizguy

I searched up the running time because I thought the 81 minutes thing was a joke. Well, apparently, it isn't. I find this extremely underwhelming, feeling the same way with "The Final Destination" 82 minute running time. I'd expected 100 minutes at least.

Nine times out of ten, in art as in life, there is no truth to be discovered, only an error to be exposed.--H.L. Menken

Oh, oh, riiiight. So the exception to the rule to laugh during a death scene is when the death scene is lame! Oh, I get it now! Someone stabbing themselves on the neck, crushing their head through the windows, shooting a bullet in their heads, hanging themselves, and jumping off buildings are so very lame! Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?! *cough*Hypocrite*cough*

You know, the people in my audience were wincing and turning back their heads during those scenes. Yeah, they're totally "stupid." I know quite a few people that jumped during the lawn mower death when the blood spewed out.

Originally posted by Michaels

If there was ever a "horror" movie that could provoke laughs from its death scenes, it's "The Happening". Now those were deaths that were so stupid, you had to laugh! Come on, the quickest way to kill yourself is to turn on a lawn mower, lie down and WAIT for it to turn around and run you over? Or better yet, feed yourself to a lion, who will rip your arms off ... which they don't do in real life (they always go for the back of the neck and kill their prey with a vice grip before eating).

Perhaps one of these days you'll get around to the realization that I make every effort to make my posts factually accurate. That doesn't mean that occasionally I do not make mistakes (to which I readily admit on discovery) or receive errant information. But checking on running times for films is a rather straightforward proposition.

Ok, first of all, you don't have to get so negative and rude all of the time. I just thought, through rationalizing, that the film would be longer than 80 minutes. Jeez.

Oh, oh, riiiight. So the exception to the rule to laugh during a death scene is when the death scene is lame! Oh, I get it now! Someone stabbing themselves on the neck, crushing their head through the windows, shooting a bullet in their heads, hanging themselves, and jumping off buildings are so very lame! Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?! *cough*Hypocrite*cough*

You know, the people in my audience were wincing and turning back their heads during those scenes. Yeah, they're totally "stupid." I know quite a few people that jumped during the lawn mower death when the blood spewed out.

*cough*Was talking about the over the top, stupid deaths, not the "normal" deaths of stabbing and shooting, as you can clearly see in the original post.*cough.

Now, laying in front of a lawn mower and waiting for it to run you over, sorry, but I can't take that seriously. And although I didn't laugh out loud, I did roll my eyes and shake my head during that scene. Sure, the blood coming out is distrubing, but by then you don't care because logic takes away from the scene. I really don't get this thing about you and this movie. You keep posting how it was suppose to be a "B movie" all along and shouldn't be taken seriously, and yet you take it seriously.

As for the looking up the time thing, come on man, we all know you were just looking for ANY excuse to bring up "FD" for the millionth time.

Saw it, highly recommend it. It's very much not a horror movie, although there is plenty of violence and gore. It DOES work very well as a comedy, and it really doesn't take itself very seriously, which is especially apparent during a particular sequence featuring a (at least to me) surprise cameo that really gives you a sense of what they're actually going for in this film. Some of the self-awareness is a detriment to the overall quality of the movie, but it really wouldn't work otherwise.
You've gotta give credit to Shaun of the Dead, but this movie is by NO means derivative of it.

As for the looking up the time thing, come on man, we all know you were just looking for ANY excuse to bring up "FD" for the millionth time.

What are you talking about? I didn't bring anything up about FD. Perhaps the things you're saying is the catalyst for me doing so but if you can refrain from saying things that are related to the FD series, then there a pretty good chance I won't bring it up.

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