I'm not going to lie...one thing I love in the morning is getting in the elevator all by myself and then totally jammin out to whatever I am listening to. I'm sure there is a security guard somewhere just saying, "Damn...white girl has got some moves!!".

But today my ride up after lunch was not so Jammin as it lasted about...20 freaking minutes. Yes, I was totally stuck in the elevator. But at least I wasn't alone. Two other ladies, which seemed very nice, until one started to panic and press the alarm button. We quickly calmed her and just pressed the call button. The building attendants were able to get us up and moving about 15 minutes later. I'm not sure what they had to do. Perhaps they were waiting for me to dance again.

However, while in the elevator, I must admit that I had the total irrational thoughts as each minute went by:

3. Wish I had my iPhone with me, I could totally tweet it up or work on my Fantasy Draft. Brady or Rogers?

4. Huge thank goodness I'm not stuck in here with the creeper from this morning that asked what song I was listening to. "Take a hint jackass...I have headphones in. Do. Not. Talk. To. Me."

5. Seriously awesome that I have Chipotle with me.

6. Damn, I totally don't have a fork.

7. Oh thank goodness the other two decided to sit.

8. Holy crap, what if we are here for hours??

9. OMG, I totally heard on the radio this morning about how a mom was in an elevator with her son that fell 15 stories and she broke both legs and had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks...holy crap we are at the 30th floor....Was that a sign that I heard that?!?!?

10. What if we start to fall, should I take off my super high heels so I can
brace myself with proper balance?

And then just before the elevator started to move and doors opened....one lady said, "I wonder if the fire department will have to come." The other lady totally took my line and said, "I get the hot one to carry me out!!!" Damn. She totally called dibs.

Thank goodness for the Denver Firefighter Calendar, since they did not have to greet us or carry us out. Damn. And sorry Gator Guy, after this train of thoughts I will so have to get my hands on a copy.

Check out the newest song by Miss Gaga. Not her typical sound, and I believe she performed this Jam at the VMA's (I was too busy partying it up in Cali!!). Either way...I think it totally sounds a little country...and therefore I'm totally diggin it!!

Headed to the airport for weekend of wedding fun in Cali with this beautiful bride!! I simply cannot wait!

Planned ingredients for an amazing time:
1. Best friends
2. Royal blue bridesmaid dresses
3. New friends and family
4. Many many drinks
5. Yoga on the beach
6. Paddle boarding
7. Bonfire on the beach
8. Wedding on a yacht
9. Cute orange clutch to go with the blue bridesmaid dress
10. And grandparents to watch Mr. T all weekend.

Cannot freaking wait!! Now I just need a good IPA at the airport to calm my nerves.

As a result of finally watching the shit show that the Bach Pad was this week....I just had to vent with my Dearest M about the complete awfulness and unnecessary tears. Soooo many damn tears.

And my Dearest M was brilliant enough to say "Nutbags...all of them!"

And so, I have decided to honor the crazies (& my Dearest M) and use the term "Nutbags" this weekend. I think it will be a nice addition to my vocabulary and perhaps it will even make its way into a song as I serenade a crowd at karaoke this evening.

Effing nutbags.

Oh and ps....A big congratulations to Nevin Shapiro who receives the ultimate Nutbag Award. Please read this article if you have not heard about the Miami scandal and to also impress your sports lover with fun facts. But let me just tell you, if you look up the definition of "small man complex", you shall see Nevin's face. No worries...this dude is already in prison, so no hurt feelings for any brutal comments you make about him. Let's hear it!

Totally out of my go-to-bed-at-9pm-on-weekdays character...but I finally made it to a Rockies game last night with my Dearest Manda, and even indulged in a few microbrews (shocker). Only downfall was a missed all the drama with the Bachelor Pad. I hear there were lots of tears...but don't worry, I totally DVR'd it!

But the game was great. Company was fantastic and I even learned a couple of things. One - all pin stripes on baseball uniforms are navy...no matter what the team colors are. Crazy! Two - the term southpaw originated from left handed pitchers because home base was always west and therefore the leftys faced south. Interesting....who would have thought!!

Ask me about football and I will talk your ear off. But baseball is a foreign world to me. I even started a Baseball Fantasy League this year with Gator Guy with hopes that I would learn more. From the league I conclude with the following:

1. I still do not know any thing more about baseball than I did before. This is supported by the fact that I have not changed anything on my team since day one and have now gone from 10th to 3rd place. Wish Fantasy Football was that easy.

2. I created a team of pervs. Seriously. I named the league Ball Smackers (long story, but the short version is some drunk guy kept yelling out Ball Smackers on the train. I thought I was so funny that I wrote it down on my sudoku and decided to name any kickball or baseball team after it.) Gator Guy and I determined that we should leave the league public just to see if we got anyone else. Well, I built it...and they came. Example team names are: Family Jewels, Blue Balls, and Big Long Balls. Seriously....I created a league for all the pervs. Well done Kat. Well done.

Tomorrow I will be running a half marathon....in which I have done essentially zero training for. Well wait a minute, I suppose I have done some yoga and a few 3 mile runs here and there, so I should be good....right? It's only 10 more miles after that!!

This will either be a disaster, or an accomplishment to show me that I don't have to obsessively plan and train for my half and full marathons any more. We shall see. (Wish me luck!!)

ps...we are camping the night before and night after. Seriously...wish me luck and have a beer ready at the finish line ;)

I have a new requirement. I shall now wear a helmet to any participating bachelorette party or crazy night out.
SUPPORTING EVIDENCE TO THIS NEW REQUIREMENT Bachelorette Party #1...few years ago
Was sitting in a booth, enjoying my beer when all of a sudden a large picture fell off the wall and onto my head. Concussion. (Pic is not from that featured night, but still is the bride)

Bachelorette Party #2...This last Saturday
Was sitting on a roof top bar, enjoying my beer (before the Timmy concert...more on that to come), when all of a sudden a huge gust of wind came and one of the table umbrellas went flying and hit me right above the temple. Concussion. Thank goodness for the pocket umbrella, or else I would have melted from the rain.

Incident #3...Not a Bach Party...but accompanied by the Bachelorette #2.
Riding the mechanical bull...beat the bar women's record and then knocked out unconscious. Concussion. Swollen face. Could not chew food for a week.

Red rover, red rover, send a second round pick on over. That's right....trade week is coming to a close. Ladies, this is like the Bachelotte, but even better because teams can kick a player to the curb and still ask for a new one. No need to settle for your one and only true soul mate. Unless of course your team spent a first round pick last year on a QB that is suppose to become a franchise leader to some and a complete failure to others. And in that case, we need to bring in Chris Harrison himself to announce the final rose as it is distributed to Mr. Tim Tebow.

I could just see the ceremony now.

"Tebow, will you accept this rose?"

"Yes, I will accept. And I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any player in the entire country play as hard as I will play the rest of the season. You will never see someone push the rest of the team as hard as I will push everybody the rest of the season. Wait...perhaps I've said this one before. Either way, I will take the rose."

But wait, there's more. Just as the Bach let's the rules bend and gives us the most dramatic season ever, Orton is still here and ready to claim his spot. No trade to Miami. No beautiful beaches, no beautiful women, and no tearful reunions with Brandon Marshall. I always imagined that they would run in slow motion, embrace, and a few tears would role down their cheeks.

And so how does Orton accept his rose?? With a little, "In Yo Face, Timmy!" Not really, but it's what I like to imagine. Everyone loves a little drama.

And what about Brady Quinn you might ask? Well, he's just pretty. So how about we keep him for marketing purposes. Feel free to flex for me at any time Pretty Quinny.

So....will the 3QBs be the next Three Amigos and sing my little buttercup and save the town of Santo Poco? We shall have to wait and see.