Penthouse Fifty-Seven

Sunday, February 5, 2012

A little white house, in the heart of town, On a little sad street, just a little run down, Became a home, for Bill and Sue, Two newlyweds, who did the best that they could do. And when they brush each other, passin' in the hall, Sue would smile and say: "This place is pretty small.

But you know, love grows best in little houses, With fewer walls to separate, Where you eat and sleep so close together. You can't help but communicate, Oh, and if we had more room between us, think of all we'd miss. Love grows best, in houses just like this.

Before too long, Sue and Bill, Were makin' plans, for Jack and Jill. Oh, happy day, when the news came in But what to do, when they found out Sue was having twins. When they could not pass each other in the hall, Well, Sue would smile and say: "This place is really, really small.

But you know, love grows best in little houses, With fewer walls to separate, Where you eat and sleep so close together. You can't help but communicate, Oh, and if we had more room between us, think of all we'd miss. Love grows best, in houses just like this.

That little white frame house still keeps them warm, Though it's been thirty-two years, since the kids were born, And when they look back now, they hold each other tight, And whisper in each other's ears: "You know you were right.

Because love grows best in little houses, With fewer walls to separate, Where you eat and sleep so close together. You can't help but communicate, Oh, and if we had more room between us, think of all we'd miss. Love grows best, in houses just like this.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

She's 85 and has been blessed with good health. She still lives on her own and is completely independent and self sufficient. My sister and I were going weekly for a couple of years when my grandfather was ill and following his death. Last summer we cut back to every other week and then more recently cut back again to once a month. I would like to see her more, but we have to travel to see her and with work and family commitments I just couldn't keep up the weekly or even biweekly schedule. Phone calls help to bridge the time between visits.

It saddens me sometimes that people don't take the time to spend with aging relatives. Sometimes I think there is a disconnect between generations ... and often we just become so absorbed in ourselves and our lives that we don't make the time for them. I'm guilty of this as well, having cut back on our visits over the last year.

I value this time with my Gramma and love to here her stories of long ago. My other Gramma, battling Alzheimers and dementia, lives in a nursing home now and I spend Wednesday evenings with her. I miss the days when she could share stories, offer words of wisdom and a be shoulder to cry on. Her illness stole her away from the rest of us many years ago and left us with her physical presence alone.

If you are fortunate enough to have aging relatives still living in your family, take the time to appreciate them. Spend a day with them and be generously rewarded with their love. Tell them you love them and give them a hug. We never know when our family treasures will be stolen from us.

Friday, February 3, 2012

I'm trying not to let this bother me, but it's proving easier said than done.

George is only 16ish weeks along and burt's family is over the moon gushing over her pregnancy and busting at the seams trying to reach me to start planning her baby shower.

Seriously??

First of all, although I am supportive of my daughter and her choice to have this baby, I do not feel that these two children are ready to have children. Neither have finished high school ... burt only works part time to pay for his sporting activities ... george is not currently working at all ... they fight more then they get along ... he has been violent with her in the past. Having said that, while I disprove of the situation they have found themselves in, the reality is that baby is a reality. A precious gift. A treasured life. And I will do everything in my power to not only make sure that baby is healthy, safe and happy but also to help george be the best mother she can be. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her or her baby.

I could be brutally honest and get into detail of what I think about burt and his family, but it would serve no purpose. George and burt have decided to have this baby and there will always be that bond between them, regardless of the outcome of their own personal relationship. It also means I permanent connection between our two families.

But burt's mom had better back off.

george is my daughter.

You are not my family. I don't even like you. I would be quite content to plan a shower for my side of the family and you plan one for your side. That way you don't have to like where I want to have the shower ... you don't have to agree on the games and food I plan ... you don't have think it's silly that I don't want to do a jack & jill style shower. You don't have to be disappointed that with only 24 weeks left I don't have all the details worked out.

You go ahead and plan whatever you want and leave me to do my own thing when I think the time is right.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

How many people do we pass each day and not even make eye contact? So caught up in ourselves and own worlds we fail to truly see the world around us. Smile at a stranger today and say "hi." You may get a smile in return, or better yet, lift someone's spirits just a little. See what good comes out of a simple hello :)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

A couple of years ago I tried, unsuccessfully, to become a bone marrow donor on the OneMatch Stem Cell and Bone Marrow Registry (formerly the Unrelated Bone Marrow Registry). I was rejected early in the process based on my weight, which was about 20 pounds above their acceptable range for a donor.

Not only was I disappointed, I was embarrassed.

I set a goal and made a promise to myself that one of the first things I would do as I lost weight was try again.

This time around I have not only passed the initial screening steps, I have also just completed the DNA testing stage bringing me one step closer to becoming a registered donor.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Strange how a teapot can represent at the same time the comforts of solitude and the pleasures of company. ~Author Unknown

Ahhh.

Is there anything more comforting then a hot cup of tea? Whether in solitude or in the pleasure of company? I think not.

I've recently been introduced to Teaopia loose leaf teas and can't begin to tell you how much I'm enjoying trying all their different varieties of tea. I've become quiet the connoisseur with all my new loose leaf tea accessories. Although I haven't found one yet that I dislike, I'm quickly narrowing down my list of favourites which include a Rooiboss blend "Summer Breeze," an Oolong blend "Plum Oolong" and a Sencha Green blend "Cactus Fig."

Whether you enjoy loose leaf or bagged, herbal or black, in solitude or in company .... please take 15 minutes to lose yourself in a cup of tea today.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

How fitting. On the second anniversary of the loss of her first baby, George announced to all that she is expecting in July. 14 weeks along, I've know since she was very early but kept her secret until she felt ready to make the announcement.

As I quietly remember the precious life lost, I celebrate this new beginning and pray for good health for both George and her baby.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

To draw in air and expel it from the lungs. To take in oxygen and give out carbon dioxide through natural processes.

Natural processes.

We do it from birth. The first sign of life. It sustains us.

As a young teen I can remember lying still in my bed holding my breath; and when I couldn't hold it any longer, I tried to draw the shallowest of shallow breaths. I wanted to breathe so shallow that it looked like I wasn't breathing at all. As if it would make me disappear and suddenly no one could see me. Like I didn't exist.

Because I felt like I didn't count. Faceless and insignificant. Lifeless.

Over the past 30 years I've actually retrained myself to breathe that way. Slow. Shallow. Minimal.

The first time I really thought about this was during my MBSR classes. It was the first time in many years that I would consciously draw a deep breath. This natural process was so foreign to me that it would cause a tingling rush throughout my body. It felt awkward and unnatural to feel my chest rise and fall as I inhaled and exhaled. I felt as though everyone was looking at me .... pointing .... laughing. I tried to be more mindful of deep breathing, but like most other things in my life, I wasn't very successful. As soon as I became angry or upset, I regressed.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Another one of those friggin days. I seem to be having more and more of them lately ... I've even named them: My pity party for one.

There's so much 'in between' that I haven't posted. I'm overloaded with teenage drama.

Playing the waiting game with Lou ready to deliver anyday now. Stressed over her health and the health of her baby with the news that Lou has a kidney problem which can not be fully investigated until she delivers. The OB ordered a Bio Physical Profile on the baby based on concerns that he has stopped growing. She moved back home in December, but she's a teenager in love and Kmaq still has considerable influence in her life. He refuses to go to school, and refuses to work. He's an unmotivated 16 year old with "no use for adults." His mother actually signed papers giving permission for him to marry Lou .... because that will make everything magically better, and will limit the control they apparently think I have over the situation. Thankfully, Lou doesn't see that as a solution and is in no big hurry to marry. He also thinks being married will actually increase the amount of welfare they'll be to collect. Dream big there, Kmaq. Set that bar high! Lou busted her ass, working 2 jobs while continuing to go to school to try and prepare for this baby. She does not want to go on welfare, an argument she keeps having with him. I'm busting my ass too, trying to do everything I can to help her so she doesn't have to. Before Kmaq, Lou was focused. She knew what she wanted in life and had a plan for how to get there. She was 'the one' out of my five children who I had no doubt would follow her dreams and achieve every goal she set for herself. When I found out she was pregnant at 16, one of the first things she told me was she was not giving up on herself and she didn't want me to give up on her either. She acknowledged that having the baby would mean she'd have to work harder to reach her goals, and it would take longer. But she made a promise to herself and to her baby that she would get there. Yet the immaturity of her age has her thinking she can change Kmaq. UGHH.

George is ALL drama, ALL the time. I love her dearly, but I don't like her much these days. At 19 years of age I expect more from her. She feels, as an adult now, there are no rules. No more household chores. No more curfews. No questions to answer. No one to answer to. Who knew? Oh, and respect? She'll have none of that nonsense either. Suddenly, she has the right to treat people however she wants. The right to speak however she wants; to swear at her sisters and I. I've given her 2 options ... follow the rules and continue to live at home ... or leave. She has until Friday to decide. UGGHHH.

And then there's Gingo. Now, I understand she's dealing with a lot right now. First, being a 13 year old girl and all the hormonal puberty shit and rebelliousness that goes along with that. I was there once, and I do remember what it's like despite what my kids think. In addition, our family really has been turned upside down and sideways dealing with a teenage pregnancy. There has been much fighting, many tears, family separation, disappointment, uncertainty ... I could go on and on and on. I know she's getting mixed messages from me ... I mean how do I show love and support to Lou without sending the message to the others that I approve of Lou's situation?

Today's Challenge

About Me

After more than 23 years raising a family, taking some time to try to get to know ME again.
Married to a man I love with every ounce of my being, and celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this year.
Extremely proud mom of 5: Bg (23), George (20), Lou (18) Pudge (15) and Gingo (14). They challenge me every day and drive me crazy some (most!) days. They also inspire me. I admire and respect who they are becoming and love to celebrate their accomplishments and achievements.
Expecting my second grandchild in July.