How I Learned to Love My Skin Without an Acne ‘Success Story’

How I Learned to Love My Skin Without an Acne ‘Success Story’

Writing about my acne is, in the best way I can describe it, a freeing, but cruel act. Not only is it a reminder that I?m still struggling to achieve clear skin, but I?m also disclosing my seven-year odyssey (yes, I chose this word purposefully) to strangers.
However, the two things that make this experience feel cruel are also the things that also make it freeing. In talking about my skin, in releasing society?s and my own personal stigma surrounding how my looks, I?m also able to release myself from the idea that clear skin equates “better.” Period. Not just better skin, but a better life, better looks?better everything.
I release myself from the idea that clear skin equates ‘better.’ Period.

I?ve read op-ed pieces about people who have acne and always found myself disappointed in the end. I read along thinking, There are people just like me! but then the final paragraph transitions to their ?success story.? It usually goes like this: They cut out dairy, their skin is instantly blemish-free, and they?ve never felt more beautiful. And if it’s not that scenario, they simply bit the bullet and opted for Accutane. The list goes on, with home remedies and clinical treatments like aspirin paste or more sleep, but, without fail, each ends with clear skin.
Courtesy of Author
MORE: Kendall Jenner Fires Back at Acne-Shamers
Regardless of the ?solution,” with it came the expected exchange of tireless trial-and-error for a improved level of self-esteem. Before clear skin, they were depressed, anxious, uncomfortable with their looks and unhappy. As I finish reading and scan photos of smooth chin shots, I?m left feeling depleted. When will it be my turn to feel beautiful and post photos of my face without wanting to rip my skin off" Is every acne story supposed to make me hate my skin even more"

Is every acne story supposed to make me hate my skin even more"

I?ve spent too much of my life loathing my skin. My first encounter with acne came in seventh grade. I remember being self-conscious and disgruntled, despite telling myself acne was normal. My older brother had acne throughout high school, my mom suffered from it when she was young, and basically everyone going through puberty did, too. Steadily, though, as people?s bumps began to disappear, mine got worse. So I finally took the plunge and went to a dermatologist, only to be loaded up with antibiotics, topicals, and rubs.
MORE: Here?s Why Adults Have More Acne than Teens
Nothing completely ?fixed? my skin. I detested going to the dermatologist because all they did was scrutinize my skin, which made me feel like I had Dots paper candy covering my face. I would look in the mirror, stare at my skin, and with my hands, cover up my chin or all the way up to my eyes to see how much better I would look if I didn?t have red, aching bumps. Some days, I felt completely debilitated. I didn?t want to go anywhere or to talk to anyone; I just wanted to take a k...

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