Lindsay Lohan owes Shawn Holley her life (and $$$)

Like me, you probably assumed that Shawn Holley stayed with Lindsay Lohan for all those years as her lawyer because, well, when you consider how many times Lindsay’s been in court, you’d figure Holley would be making bank on that one. Except this is LiLo we’re talking about, so naturally she never actually paid her and now Lindsay owes Holley $300,000 in unpaid legal fees. From RadarOnline …

“Lindsay owes Shawn over $300k in legal fees and she hasn’t made any payments to her in over six months,” a source close to the situation tells Radar. “Lindsay hadn’t paid anything for any of the work Shawn has done on her three new criminal charges of lying to cops, in connection with her car accident in Santa Monica last summer. Shawn has kept Lindsay out of jail for over five years now and she has no idea how good she has had it. Shawn is extremely respected by judges and prosecutors and that has benefited Lindsay greatly. Lindsay’s new criminal attorney, Mark Heller, isn’t even based in Los Angeles and certainly doesn’t have the revered reputation that Shawn does.”

Why would Holley continue representing this hot boo-boo mess when she wasn’t getting paid a dime? Two theories: First, Holley figured that there’s no better publicity than keeping Lindsay out of jail despite the fact that it’s exactly where she should be. The second theory is that Holley is allergic to money. Like, just deathly allergic to all forms of currency. “Is that a quarter? AIIIIEEEE! IT BURNS!” Either way, she’s still willing to help Lindsay out, because this morning, after turned down a rehab plea bargain, Shawn Holley stepped into save the day one last time. Via TMZ …

Shawn Holley pulled off another miracle — pleading “not guilty” on Lindsay Lohan’s behalf today in court … despite Lindsay firing her yesterday. When the judge asked if she was still representing Lindsay — Shawn replied, “At this point, yes” … but it’s unclear what that means since she got a letter saying she was fired yesterday. Lindsay has since hired another lawyer in New York, Mark Heller. The judge was understandably confused — and Shawn said, “The representation issue will be nailed down.” Consider it another bullet dodged by Lindsay — it was likely a bench warrant would have been issued for her arrest had Shawn not stepped in to help her.

See what I mean about the whole “allergic to money” thing? I bet Lindsay Lohan threatened her with a jar of pennies or something. Either way, Holley has somehow managed to save Lindsay from beyond the grave, which I guess really does mean that Holley is a warlock. WEIGH HER AGAINST A DUCK!

About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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