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Been sick ready for my eternal home but God isn't listening to me!

Hi there sorry I haven't been on been sick really really sick lately. I ended up with boils all over the front of my skin. Then I got sick started up chucking blood had to have an upper endoscope done found that my stomach and small intestine has ulcers from another bacterial infection and a valve that goes from my stomach to the small intestine isn't working right so I have bile where there shouldn't be bile. Sorry if this is grafic and gross but this is what I have been dealing with for weeks now. I can't seem to get the medical field to help me find out why this is happening or whats causing this other than my immune system has gone haywire. DUH!

Like the title says I have been ready to give up my pain and want to go to my erternal home where there is promises of no more pain, no more tears. Today is no better than yesterday, I ate solid food my stomach hurts like crap. I have a rash on my arms that has been there since Nov 08 but can't get anyone to listen tooo me. My pastor and elders have prayed over me and I know I am a long way from going "home". I am just tired of the fight.

hi

Hi,

Oh you poor thing.Oh i wish i could take that pain away and make you feel better right now.Oh, please dont give up.I know it must feel that way now.....but it has to get better soon. I just hope you can get someone to help you find out what the problem is and treat you properly. I am thinking of you and sending you gentle hugs. We are all here, so when ever you feel well enough please come here, just even for some kind words.Wish i could send you something better than a hug, but thats all i have. You keep strong and know we are thinking of you.

lots of love
and lots of wishes of you feeling better soon
Angel.xxx

I am still here,just been on new meds so unable to function like i used to.I will pop back,just know im thinking of you all and hoping you are keeping on keeping on.xxxxxxx

Oh Red Hair Angel.....I am so, so sorry for your horrible suffering. I have been right where you are so many times...just so sick of the tremendous pain and all the awfulness that goes with this rotten disease....I have begged God to take it all away and let me have relief...and then have cried because He sees fit to leave me here on Earth to suffer some more. Sometimes we just don't have another single drop of energy to fight the fight anymore...we feel weak and tired. So tired that we could sleep forever. It is so hard to understand why we must suffer and experience what we go through...unfortunately, God sees the big picture and we do not get to. At least not during our time here.

But He does have a purpose for it...He does have a plan that we must trust. He does not abandon us, though it feels like it sometimes. He gives us a promise that we are never, ever alone and that when we reach the point of utter despair, He will carry us in His arms.

Our lives weave a path that, many times, do not have meaning to us at the moment....but as we travel that path and endure and grow and deepen our relationship with others and with Him, He brings people that cross our path. People that help us and people that we can help. There is much to be learned from what we endure during our travels on the path...things that we learn about ourself....like what kind of person you choose to be with your time here on Earth...

I wish that no one had to suffer, especially you. I wish that I could take some of your despair for you...It's a helpless feeling to know that someone has reached that point and wants it to be over. But please don't give up. Please endure this one day and try to have hope for tomorrow. And please know that my heart aches for you, though I do not know you, and that I will be praying for you earnestly.

I'm sending you gentle, caring, HUGS and peaceful thoughts to help you find the desire to carry on.

I will be thinking of you, Redhairangel....and asking God to take away your pain and help you and your doctors find answers.

So sorry you are suffering, it seems like more than you can bear. It is hard to bear just knowing what you are going through, very heartbreaking. One time I cried out to our Dad, "why did you create me to suffer? What was the point because I'm not seeing the point!" Sometimes we just have to vent, He understands. The journey to the other side can be misery incarnate. Some days all I can pray is "Jesus help me."

Jesus please ease our sisters suffering. Lord her body is broken and her heart is yearning for home. Give her the strength to bear this out. Take this heavy burden from her Lord we pray. Father please guide her doctors, place your hand on all of her medical needs that they will find the right answers and the right medicine to heal her stomach and intestines. Touch her Lord according to Your will.

Lift her up sweet Jesus, protect her. Surround her with your angels, and loyal friends who will pray and comfort her. Bless her with that peace only You can give, fill her until she is overflowing with your true Spirit. We yearn for the City of God and the Holy Light that fills the temple. Hold us tight until we meet You there. Thank you Lord.

I am going to echo what Rastagirl said. God knows the path; unfortunately we don't. Please do not give up. I am praying for you and I hope your pain eases soon. Push the doctors for answers-call, call and call. Do you have a family member who can help you out with getting a second opinion?

It is very sad to hear that you are suffering so. Too many people in so much pain.
IMHO it's ok to feel as you do. Hoping the day ends must bring you some relief from it all.
Your faith will comfort you but science will save you. Fight or have a loved one fight for you to receive proper medical treatment. make yourself heard.
I hope you have better days ahead.

You have been greatly ill...It reminds me of Job. He had all those boils on his body..hmm I wonder if he was striken with Lupus or another autoimmune?

I do understand wanting to give up the fight...I have been recently having those thoughts. I am praying some comfort for you...like a remission...the only bright side to this is that you are a Christian and have the Lord to hang on to. I am not sure what I would to if I didn't have Him to go to. Know that He is there and He knows and sees..One of the Holy Spirit's names is Comfortor...I am also going to pray that you are able to experience the Peace that passes all understanding...that is the peace that we can feel even though all Hell is breaking loose around us...it doesn't mean the situation is miraculusly made perfect and we all lived happily ever after, just means that we can experience peace and even Joy..which is a fruit of the spirit. I find when I am there it is only when I have finally given everything to God, because there is nothing I can do anyway...at that point and only then can I move on.

I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.......Robert Frost

I have had some bad stomach problems lately too, but not as severe as yours have been. It's hell, and sometimes I feel like giving up the fight. But I don't. Sooner or later, a good day will come around and give you the energy and motivation you need to keep on fighting. That's what keeps me going. I hope the stomach problem heals up fast. Just know that you are in the thought and prayers of many people, including me.

I want to talk to you about you stomach issues to help you feel you have some control over your body...with your infection, did they prescribe an anti-biotic with an proton pump-inhibitor?

Antibiotics are very hard on your stomach and you would need the proton pump inhibitor, such a Protonix, Prevacid...with it.

Did you have a lower endoscopy too? Have you been tested for H.Pylori, Celiac Disease? Reaction to gluten can affect the skin too. I know...I had a rash for 5 months, deep holes, blisters from neck to ankles...and just finally my skin return to normal. Almost an 8 month total ordeal...I stopped eating all gluten...

I felt lost like you..seems the madness was never to end...but it has.

My skin was a fright. Chemical burned from the ultra potent steroid creams. Finally the antibiotics, oral steroids and going gluten free it surrendered. I was never diagnosed. They knew what it wasn't...but not what it was.

I also had H.Pylori...and the results of it I have gastritis, GERD and an impaired esophageal sphincter. I still take Protonix on and off. Protonix was my stomach's saving.

Before being diagnosed I'd lose my voice from the acid splashing up to my vocal cords. There was pain, it was so horrendous, it referred into my chest wall, back and neck. I had such a gnawing pain in my stomach I wasn't sure whether I should vomit or eat. My food was getting stuck also...went to the ER thought I was having a heart attack...

I had my esophagus dilated to prevent the food from getting stuck. Now it just moves slowly...

I thought all the neck pain, voice hoarse and gone was from my spine surgery...wasn't. I would get so hungry after I ate, then the next time I would bloat after a spoon full. My dinner would just come up into my mouth, from a burp, from a cough or just because.

It was the infection in my stomach. H.Pylori. It can wreak such havoc if it goes untreated. It can cause duodenal (small intestines) peptic ulcers, gastric ulcers which causes pain and to also spit out blood from the bleeding ulcers, GERD...all which you are experiencing.

Have the test done...or did they do a biopsy for it when you had you upper GI done. It can be diagnosed through a blood test too. That is how I was diagnosed.

What a difference in my stomach since being treated. I also take Reglan with my dinner to help move my food out of my stomach faster before I go to bed...sheesh...before, the next morning..12 hours later I was still belching up dinner.

If I don't be vigilant with my food and drink my symptoms if off the Protonix comes back...still trying to heal the esophageal sphincter.

Have the scheduled you to see a nutritionist to understand what foods aggravate it, what foods to avoid?

I would think, they should have prescribed an proton pump inhibitor such as Protonix to stop the stomach valves from producing acid.

Ulcers are also due to the corrosive effect of aspirin type medications, steroids and non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as are taken for our Lupus arthritis and myalgias. Are you still taking these?

If so, maybe consider less corrosive drugs, such as Vioxx, Celebrex...or Disalcid, Trilisate....

I think it important for you to talk with your doctor, go over your drugs, diet...to find a plan to get you feeling better. It is possible...so do not give up hope...

Turn that hopelessness you feel into strength...and take control over your health, read, seek out different doctors..and through proper food and drugs you can find physical comfort. And that can turn your despair into hope again.

so sorry to hear about your place lately. I am constantly aggitated with all of us having to accept everything that happens to us as "lupus" attacks. We suffer for so long before seeking medical attention, only to be told it is lupus. I don't know how much we are supposed to suffer.

i am in such a flare that even pain meds won't give any relief. Crying does not help, sleep does not help, prayer does not help, anger does not help.....just can't find relief.

maybe we could all get in a circle, close the circle so tightly that no one, no pain, no tests, no hospitals, no drs. could get through.

please know that i am trying to send you strength to get past this....you have a lot of people here pulling for you to find peace.