When I wonder about getting out of here... and you show me picture of a black person as if to say... "no no, don't count on it, you are sick, you have a problem"

No. I HAD a problem. And whatever shadow of a problem is left is actually INCREASED every time you do that.

By declaring this to still be a major problem, you are giving it power.

I'm trying to take power away from that ghost. You are feeding it by treating it like it is still the same as it was months ago.

I will repeat that I am in a very bad spot right now, where I have to lie everyday to the people in my household about my future, which is unclear to me. Will I be out by the first or won't I? I don't know.

They will potentially be out of over 1000 dollars and a living space for their mother. That's not ok with me.

You can be slow to accept progress sometimes I think, but you have to accept the reality of progress now. You can't keep telling me I have this horrible problem anymore when it isn't a horrible problem.

And honestly, by what logic do you think rubbing problems in my face would ever be helpful?

I don't HAVE a problem... I HAD a problem. There may be ghosts here and there... HOWEVER by acting like I have made no progress in this problem, and by rubbing this problem in my face you are giving it POWER

I don't know if this is true or not, but sometimes I feel like you are afraid to see me, and that's why you keep making up all these excuses not to.

Look, if you have a problem with something I'm doing, they way I work is... if you just tell me in person, it's much more effective. Just not showing up on Christmas is so vague, it's not an effective problem-solver. And it makes me feel sad because I want to spend time with you.

Hearing someone you love speak to you in person is very very powerful, and can have a very strong positive effect.