Black girl #1: You look great. You are like wasting away from your fast.Black girl #2: Thanks! I asked my brother the other day if I continued fasting after Lent ends, would that be considered a diet or just anorexia?Black girl #3: Oh my god! I always want to do that.Black girl #2: He said anorexia, but I'm still thinking about it.

Man: So I’m just standing there, trying to get the guns from his hands– Woman #1: Are they registered? Man: Not in New York. Woman #1: Ooh, you need to be careful. He could get arrested again! Man: I know, right? So I have one gun in my hand, and he has the other one, and he’s ready to give it to me when Susan starts freaking out. Woman #2: Ooh…Did you know that they had a threesome with Trista? Man: What? What the fuck? Why does he get all the threesomes?

Girl #1: So he kept asking me to have sex last night. Girl #2: Did you? Girl #1: No, I told him, “Look, I will not have sex with you. If you want a blowjob I will do that, but I will not have sex with you.”…I mean what is a blowjob? Nothing at all.

Guy #1: The thing is, dating gets so much harder as we get older. Guy #2: Yeah, especially if you’re intelligent. Guy #1: It’s not like you can just look at a woman and tell if she’s smart enough to date. Guy #2: True. Guy #1: I’d never date an Aries though.

Girl #1: When Annie is in a relationship, she's really serious. But when she was single she went through what we like to call the “sit on your face” phase.Girl #2: What?Girl #1: She'd go up to a guy in the bar we were in and say, “man, you look so good tonight. I might just sit on your face later.”(girl #2 laughs)Girl #1: Yeah… “sit on your face” was the new black for a while.