I had planned to use the word "shamnesty" to drive John Cole into an apoplectic stupor, but decided against it. Why? Because it is a pretty fucking stupid word.

Could have been worse, I suppose. It could have been "Bennifer" again. ::shudder::

Anyway, here's Lileks' take on the recent attempt by the Senate to legalize their current gardeners and nannies:

The failure of the immigration bill was a remarkable event, I think  but not the first notch in the belt for the new media as some suggest. Its interesting how many of the big victories seem to have been large bites out of the Presidents hide  Dubai, Harriet Miers, now this. It shows the power of a swarm concentrated on a particular thing  a person, a bill, a specific policy initiative.
...
I had fun with the subject on the Hewitt show tonight  Dean Barnett was chowdah-tawkin in Hughs place, and I found myself describing the Senate as a place where the fizzy effervescent passions of the day are poured into a saucer, where they can go flat and get warm and sticky and attract flies. Good a definition of the Senate as any, I guess. Its like a bowling alley with no pins, circular lanes, and nerf balls.

It makes me a nuts when people forward bogus warnings, and I've even done it myself a couple times, but this one is important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list.

If someone from the National Center for Tick Control comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warming weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up...

For the record, my mother used to lock her keys inside her car about twice a year. I bugged her to get one of those Hide-A-Key things and she promptly locked that inside the car with her keyring. This technique would have proven quite useful to her, except I'm convinced that she would have locked the tennis ball inside the car, too.

3
I tend to doubt it works well, hard to imagine most car locks are airtight enough to do it, but pretty amazing and clever if it works. Also rather disconcerting if you have a decent stereo or anything else of value in the car.

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Opening car door locks with air pressure?
I'm dubious.
My guess is that the guy running the camera just hit the "unlock" button on the key chain.
I'd be interested in your findings.
Or maybe we should just send this one to Mythbusters :-)

5
Sadly enough I know there is some truth to this from personal experience. In the early 90's I was going through college earning my Bachelors in Law. As part of that I took a class in Investigations. Where the instructor told us about this little trick. But in the 90's he caveatted it with, "This will work on some cars, but newer ones with power locks it tends to not work on too well".

Via Ace comes this story which, all reason and logic to the contrary, is true: the Spice Girls are reuniting.

Girls, let me clue you in on something: you were a group whose success depended almost entirely on the short skirts and tight tops you wore. Sure, you could sing a little bit, but let's face it: your legs and tits were what made you popular. Now that your a bit more mature, shall we say, those parts of your anatomy have probably loosened up a bit.

Quick aside: Ms. Halliwell's parts looked great uncovered. In fact, I almost bought a Spice Girls album in appreciation. Almost.

In any event, it's time to bring this old joke back out of retirement: The Spice Girls Application Form.

The Spice Girls Application Form

Name:

Age:

Real Age:

- How would you best describe yourself?
( ) An energetic self-starter
( ) A team player
( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet

- Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your tits?

- Would it bother you to be the target of unrelenting hatred?

- "I am willing to trade sexual favours for a career in the music industry."
( ) Yes ( ) No

- How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke bar?

- Does nudity bother you? If so, give three excuses for your portfolio.

- Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of individual free will in light of the deterministic theories of neurochemical medicine and modern behavioralist psychology... Just kidding!! Seriously, do you like leather mini-skirts?
( ) Yes ( ) No

- Are you deceptively attractive in coloured or stroboscopic light?
( ) Yes ( ) No

- Choose an appropriate image:
( ) Cute, blonde, appeals to pedophiles
( ) Tub of lard
( ) Bloke. In a tracksuit.
( ) Vacant stare, no discernible brain activity
( ) Terrifying to small children and old men
( ) All of the above

- Do you promise to make one album and then go away forever?
( ) Yes ( ) No

- If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90 kilometers, and 75 kilometers an hour, respectively, how would you look in a bikini?

- If required as part of your contract, would you be willing to help alleviate Prince Charles's loneliness?
( ) Yes ( ) No

- In space provided, tell us why you want, why you really, really, want this job.

I've got an idea for a Spice Girls pay per view event that's sure to bring in lots of money: strip them all naked and have them wrestle in a vat of Jello, while simultaneously forcing them to do lots of tequila body shots off of the more interesting portions of their exposed anatomy. Now that would be spicy.

Popular Science posted an article on building what it calls a lunchbox PC. It is a full featured computer, sans hard drive and CD drive, although you can add them if need be. It also uses, not surprisingly, a version of Linux as the OS of choice. Excerpt:

With antiquated components flooding the surplus-parts market and free operating systems only a click away, building a fully functional computer has never been such a bargain. No, the $72 PC wont replace your new dual-core, Vista-shredding laptop. But with its compact size and solid-state components (no hard drive or CD drive), its perfect for building into custom enclosures and for specific tasks like Web surfing or playing games. The computer boots from a USB flash drive running an operating system called Damn Small Linux that can handle just about any job.

June 24, 2007

Yippe kay yay

I see via Jeff that Michele has cast a reincarnate spell on her former blog, instead of a resurrect spell. The results? The blog A Big Victory. I love Faster Than the World, but I'm glad to see Michele back with her very own place.

June 20, 2007

We have the body

Bill Quick finally kissed Microsoft goodbye. Excellent. I remember his previous foray into the world Linux last year; he was unimpressed. However, Bill's managed to work around most of his issues and is browsing on his laptop via his EVDO card. Not surprisingly, his computer is much more responsive than it was before.

BTW, from what I've read, the EVDO cards can be a hassle to get up and running. Bill's experience appears to bear that out. However, he's perfectly willing to share his method and madness to anyone who is interested. Be sure to drop him a line if you have questions.

June 19, 2007

Ms. Right Now

If you go to a scifi con, or a gaming con, or any sort of RPG/fantasy/dorkwad con, be on the lookout for a woman wearing the T-shirt shown below. Trust me: it's quite possibly the only time in your life that you will ever, ever have sex.

Jonathan Hawkins links to this Michael Medved piece that, frankly, reeks of an April 1 article. Unfortunately, it's the middle of June, so apparently Mr. Medved is dead serious, which makes him, unfortunately, a retarded jackass. I remember Hugh Hewitt saying that Medved was strongly in favor of the amnesty bill as is; no amendments need apply. I thought that Hugh was kidding, but apparently I was mistaken. Anyway, excerpt:

...Despite the courageous reform efforts of far-sighted Republican Senators and of President Bush, the loudest voices in the GOP currently speak in strident, angry, desperate, uncompromising and unmistakably anti-immigranttones.

Gee Michael, I'm almost at a loss how to respond to your puerile, insane, retarded, moronic and infantile prattle. Almost. Since reason, logic and, obviously, sanity are strangers to you, I'll make a slight breach in ettiquette by leaping over any factual arguments and going straight for the insults and ad hominem attacks.

You, sir, are embarrassment to conservatives everywhere. Your brain, such as it is, not only fails to fire on all cylinders, it's a wonder that can breathe without wearing a iPod that eternally cycles a recorning of "inhale....exhale". In fact, you are so fucking stupid that I'm convinced that, like the dinosaurs, you must have a brain in your ass to help you take a shit. However, unlike the dinosaurs, your assbrain is the larger of the two, which makes sense, since what comes out of your mouth is more putrid, vile, stinky and worthless than what comes out of the other end. At least your crap can be used for fertilizer.

Frankly, Michael, your act has more than worn thin. I will admit that I used to enjoy your occasional forays into the Attila the Hun chair, when you subbed for Rush. But somehow you mistook your modest talent for actual self-importance. I know, I know: you know so much more than the rest of us. I suppose that we should thank you for condescending to lecture to us about how we should act, or what we should do, or how we should vote. The reality is that most of us think that the fact that you have a syndicated column and a radio show is a sign of the end times. Sure, Err America was even more ridiculous that you. The buffoons on that network at least had the entertainment value of clown repeatedly stabbing himself in the eye. You, as I'm sure you're aware, have no such value. In fact, I swear that what fills my daughter's diaper daily has more intrinsic value than you and your opinions do. And quite frankly, her diapers' content disgusts me far less than you do.

I know what you're thinking: if I'm so bothered by you, why don't I simply ignore you? Well Michael, I think that you and I have finally found a point on which we can agree. Don't be too surprised when other coservatives - you know, the ones that you accuse of hating us some brown people- follow suit.

Enjoy yourself. And remember to keep a spare battery around for your iPod. I wouldn't want you to suffocate.

June 07, 2007

Breaking a cardinal rule of blogging

Well, time to slow my trickle of traffic to an even smaller trickle: I'm headed out of the country on vacation tomorrow. The kids are coming with me and the wife this time, which means that the trip will be more fun. It also means that I won't get much rest until I come back to work. Such is life.

2
Thanks, Val. I'm certain that there will be blogworthy moments, not least of which is my forgetting to put suntan lotion on my now somewhat exposed scalp, giving me sun poisoning of the brain. Not that anyone will notice, of course.

14
I'm not coming down off these stilts until someone cleans up the horse poop...and the lion poop...and heaven help us, the elephant poop.
So Sticks, how do you expect me to catch anything while I'm up here? *Acck* DON'T throw the torches at me. These stilts are made of wood!!!!

June 06, 2007

I've noticed some things over the last few years while clicking through the blogosphere:

1) There are some pretty smart people. And freaking stupid ones.

2) The political divide on blogs is vast, even more so than I anticipated.

3) Bloggers tend to help each other out when the chips are down.

Some of you may remember other bloggers requesting help/money these last few years: Dean; Misha; Lileks; Kevin; Jeff; and other who I cannot remember right now. People came out of the woodwork with donations. It was touching and, more importantly, the donations helped.

Why do I mention this? Because Rick Moran has made a similar request. He would like to keep writing for a living, but he also wants to keep him and his wife fed, clothed and housed. This fund drive could provide Rick with the wherewithal to keep on blogging, pissing off amusing readers on the right and left. Anyway, please go here and give, if you're so inclined. Every little bit helps.