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Friday, 12 January 2018

JOKES--- The Hunter

A 90 yr old man goes to a doctor.He said:"Doctor, my 28yr old wife is pregnant, what's your opinion?"

Doctor replies: "Let me tell you a story. A hunter in a hurry grabs an umbrella instead of his hunting rifle. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella pulls the handle and....BANG!!!...d lion drops dead!"

Old man exclaims: "That's impossible! Someone else must have shot the lion."

Doctor: "EXACTLY MY OPINION."

Marriage

Daddy," said a six-year-old boy, "I'd like to get married.""Sure, son." said his father. "Anyone special in mind?""Yes," answered the boy. "Grandma. She’s nice""Now, wait a minute," said his father."You don't think I'd let you marry my mother, do you!!""Why not?" the boy asked. "You married mine

Little boy's prayer

At dinner, a little boy offered to lead in prayer."Dear Lord," he started, "Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sisters clothes and wrestled with her on her bed and made her cry."

"This coming winter," he continued, ignorant of all the stares he was receiving,"Please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my dad's blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's room when daddy is at work"

...AMEN!.... and there was silence.

The missing Cock

Pastor keeps chickens in the Church premises, one evening a Cock went missing.

In Church the next day the Pastor asked "who has a cock?" All the men got up. "No, I mean who has seen a cock?" the pastor said.All the women got up."No, no, I meant who has seen a cock that isn't theirs?", the pastor said impatiently.Half of the women got up."Oh for goodness sake!! Who has seen my cock???" the pastor shouted.All the Choir girls got up!.....halleluyah!!

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Saw this one during the Subsidy/Occupy Nigeria strike years ago:

Hello, My name is Frank Edoho, from who wants to be a Millionaire. Your Friend Jonathan is on the hot seat, he needs your help to win One Loaded Tanker of Fuel. The next voice you hear is your friend's. ( Your time starts now ). Paddy how far: Abeg wetin be the yoruba Name for SUBSIDY?