True confessions of a male escort

Andrew Rosetta (not his real name) was an escort in London for ten years, where he made thousands of pounds a week. He tells all in his new memoir, Whatever She Wants: True Confessions of a Male Escort. We had about ten million questions we wanted to ask him, but we limited ourselves to just these few…

Why did you get into the biz?

I started out as a student doing an MA in history. I was working all-day shifts at a sandwich shop in Kent, England, so there wasn’t much time for study. One day I looked out of the sandwich shop window and realized that the parking meter was on a better hourly rate than me. Escorting was a way out of going nowhere financially.

How did you know where to start?

I had literally no clue when I started — I didn’t know what to charge, how to negotiate, how to really have sex — it was a nightmare. I saw an advert in a rugby magazine for an escort agency and thought, why pay a third to an agent? So I just put an ad in the back of my local paper. I was still technically a virgin on my first job! It went so bad I was still a virgin after it too!

Once you got the hang of things, what kind of money did you make?

Girls make about double or triple what guys can charge, but I made £1,000 (about $1,650) for an overnight, afternoon or evening.
Were most of the women who hired you married or single?

They are a real mix of all ages and types from 18-80, but the big two groups are those who are married in their mid 40s and neglected sexually by their husbands, and the 30-something singletons who want to try out spicy sex.

Is sex always part of it, or are you sometimes literally just an escort?

I’d say sex is part of the equation 99% of the time.

What made you such a good escort?

I was organized, I answered my phone, and I was always shaved, showered, and had my contact lenses on and ready to go.

But when it comes to the actual sex, do you think you’re better in bed than the average guy?

My clients would probably say so, but that’s because for them they have only really seen me for filling a fantasy — which is fequently in their heads only — that I’m some kind of superman in bed. If you asked the girlfriends I’ve had, I’m sure they wouldn’t say that. A lot of sex is the stories we tell ourselves.

What client request surprised you the most?

I was once asked to dress as superman for a woman whose fantasy was being a feminine Lex Luther (an inverse power scene): She takes advantage of the most powerful man in the universe.
Was there anything you refused to do?

I’ve always refused anyone who looks underage. And if a male and female couple hire me together, I have quite a lot of restrictions on what I will do with a guy. With female clients on their own, as long as it’s safe and legal, I’ll give it a go.

It’s obviously harder for men to fake sexual interest than it is for women — was that ever a problem for you?

It can be a real problem getting and maintaining an erection when you are tired, bored, hungover, preoccupied, or stressed. Work is work, though, and a bad workman always blames his tools!

It’s definitely an advantage to be averagely sized or bigger, but not a must have. Guys and women of all shapes and sizes are doing escort work because clients want all types. Don’t forget, some women don’t like a dick that’s too big.
So size doesn’t matter, then…?

In my opinion, whilst it does matter, it’s what you do with it that’s more important. Being fun to be with, able to make women relax, kind, and able to catch a woman’s rhythm so you work with and towards her orgasm is more important than someone with a big dick and nothing else.

What was it like dating while being an escort?

It’s really difficult — escorting can really mess up your personal life and your personal life can really mess up your business. It’s one of the main things escorts discuss when we get together in union meetings. [Ed: Andrew works for the British branch of the International Union of Sex of Workers to advocate for sex worker rights.]

How did being an escort change your approach to sex for fun? Did it make you less interested in casual sex, more interested in sex-with-love, etc.?

I think it’s made me appreciate the wonder and power of sex. For me, personally, it informs the exclusive and monogamous relationship I’m now in.
During your escort career, you went from being a born-again Christian to an atheist to an agnostic and then you returned to your Christian faith…

It’s not a major deal. People believe in God from all walks of life.

Why did you retire?

I began to really want to do something else that didn’t revolve around sex and being a sex object.

Do you think you’ll ever come out of retirement?

I’ve retired three times before. Some people say you never retire from this, you just take a break. But this time it’s for good — I’m in love with a girl I’ve been dating for the past seven months, and she wouldn’t like it.