~ Verus Conditio

As most of you know, I began a new blog last week to help me to further my learning about the Catholic Faith. In that learning, my husband pointed me to this Baltimore Catechism website. In the very first lesson, there are questions about the equality of man (and if you look at question 133, Man is a creature composed of body and soul, and made to the image and likeness of God).

Q. 128. In what respect are all men equal?

A. All men are equal in whatever is necessary for their nature and end. They are all composed of a body and soul; they are all created to the image and likeness of God; they are all gifted with understanding and free will; and they have all been created for the same end — God.

Q. 129. Do not men differ in many things?

A. Men differ in many things, such as learning, wealth, power, etc.; but these things belong to the world and not man’s nature. He came into this world without them and he will leave it without them. Only the consequences of good or evil done in this world will accompany men to the next.

I found these simple answers rather profound. We often see definitions of equality around. Equal under the law, equal in value, we are different but equal. I found this explanation the very best of them all. We all have a body and soul. We are Awake and Alive and we have been created for God.

I realize that this may seem incomplete to many people, that it might not sound fair. But looking at it’s simplicity, I find it astoundingly beautiful. What we crave as far as equality, are things of this world. But what we are given, is the ultimate equality from God, necessary for our nature and end. We want so much more. We demand so much more, but in the end, all of that is moot. Only what we have done will follow us into the next life.

***Intentions for this blog

When I began the new blog, my husband wanted me to make a choice between this blog and that one. Given that I rarely post here any more, I asked him if I could only post here or there and never both at once and he agreed. Having said that, as you all have likely noticed, I don’t post much here any more. I feel I have said most of what I have wanted to say here. I don’t plan on shutting this blog down as, from time to time, something might come up that I would like to write on. But that will likely be much further and farther between posts. If people have questions, I will do my best to answer them or if something strikes me as important, I will write about it. However, my focus is more drawn to learning about what God expects of me, and more, what I can do for Him. I am sure, in that learning, things will come up that will be more appropriate to talk about here.

Sadly, Elspeth is ready to move on as well. She has been a huge help to me and she and Hearthie (among others) have been a big influence in me changing the course of my thoughts more toward God. I am truly grateful to them. Thank you both very much.

Hearthie, whom most of you probably know from reading many of the blogs around, has started a new endeavor. She is very good with beauty and she would like to start professionally consulting with people on their colors and clothing style. In the meantime, she is looking for people to do this with for free! If this is something that you are interested in, go over to her place and let her know.

I’m not sure that I’m going to do the other blog yet, as this one can take a lot of my time. In the meantime, I want to share this video with you that was posted at Catholicism Pure and Simple. It is about death, but it still relates in a tangential way with what we discuss here. This woman gives me hope and her strength is astounding. I ask you all to pray for her, to pray for her miracle and to pray for her family.

It is no secret to my regular readers that I am Catholic and a rather Orthodox Catholic, at that. However, my tenure into Orthodoxy is a short one and I am on the path of learning. My Catechism during my RCIA process, I have discovered, was . . . not good. So, I have been trying to learn on my own and with my husband. I have so many questions. So many things I would like to share with some of you, but this blog does not seem the place to do it.

I write here mostly for everyone. While I will write Catholic and religious posts from time to time, I mostly try to tell the Truth without too much overt religion in it in an attempt to teach those who seek the information but are not Believers. There are many reasons I do this, one of the main ones being, talking overtly about God and Catholicism are not a strong point of mine. Certainly not a talent.

So, my question is this, if I were to start another blog, one that might be short lived or not, that asked questions of the readers regarding Faith, Biblical teachings, books I am reading and so forth, would there be any interest in that? Would any of you be interested in discussing and helping me with things that I am confused about or that I am learning about?

First of all, the Church must make a concentrated effort to evangelize men by delivering a strong and consistent message about what it means to be a faithful Catholic man. Men need to be addressed very directly about the demanding and noble challenge of serving Jesus Christ the Eternal King and His Catholic Church. Men are hungry and thirsty for meaning beyond the everyday world.

The culture in which we live is bankrupt and young men, especially, recognize the brokenness of the culture. Young men and young women want to hear words that are directed specifically to them to use their virtues and gifts for the good of everyone.

Click the link. Read it. Have Faith. We can turn back to a masculine Church, where men and women are served beautifully and taught how to use their own gifts and appreciate those gifts for what they are.

I would be quite afraid to use “wiles” on my husband. I have been taught that manipulation is evil, period. Whenever I wanted anything growing up, that was manipulation and meant punishment. If I want anything from my husband, that’s manipulation and I get ignored. What’s your secret? You seem to get a lot of romance and fun out of marriage. I don’t. I can’t wait for him to get to work in the morning because I’m so stressed out worrying about whether or not I’ve done a good enough job with lunch, with this, with that, etc. I don’t dare relax or even have any fun, and I hate it.

What’s the secret? What are you supposed to do? Because, quite frankly, I don’t like being married one bit and am focusing strictly on doing my duty as I’m supposed to do. Maybe it’s too late for me, but maybe you can at least give me some ideas so my daughters can have happy, fun marriages, at least once in a while (we all know it’s not fun all the time, that’s not my point).

1. First and foremost, don’t compare your marriage to other people’s. I understand what you were saying in your comment, but try to get the idea out of your head that you want fun and romance like them and change it to, I want fun and romance like us. You just don’t know what the romance and fun in your marriage is going to look like yet because you have to find that out.

2. Try to figure out why your husband doesn’t like manipulation. Maybe he had a woman in his life who was truly manipulative in the worse sense of the word. It could be he doesn’t trust because he has been badly burned in the past. Be understanding of his point of view and remember this whenever things get difficult.

3. Maybe you married a quiet man. As someone who married a quiet man myself, it took me a very long time to figure out that many of the times I thought he might be mad at me or ignoring me, it actually had nothing to do with me at all. He was just being quiet because that is who he is. Could this be the case for your husband? If so, be understanding and give him his space. Find your own thing to do during this time that makes you happy.

4. Your husband does not create your happiness and sense of fun. You do. It sounds like you are depending on him for these things. Do your duty as his wife, but make it fun while doing it. While making his lunch and dinner, or while cleaning the house have fun. Turn on some music, dance and sing with your girls and let them help you. Let this sense of happiness and fun last past the time your husband gets home. When he gets home, greet him calmly yet happily at the door. Welcome him home with a gentle kiss and a smile. Serve him dinner with a little bounce in your step and a smile on your face. Bring him a cup of coffee in the morning bright eyed and happy. Have your girls do the same. Expect nothing in return. You are doing this because he is your husband and you love him. Not because you want anything from him. Continue on happily with your evening. If your husband is quiet, let him be quiet. This quietness does not have to have an affect on your happiness. It does because you let it (I know reading this, I make this sound like an easy task. It’s not. Work at it and it will get easier). Find your own thing to do that makes you happy and let that feeling stay with you. Be easy with your smiles and let them reach your eyes. Your girls are going to watch you. They will learn this skill from you.

What you may find happens, over time, is that your husband may find this contagious and become more relaxed and happy himself. This should not be your end goal. That would be manipulative and will turn him away. You’re being happy because you want and choose to be happy for yourself.

5. When you do want or need something, you sit down with your husband and you ask for it. Tell him, “I would like to go out and have some fun with you tonight. Will you take me out?” or “Will you take the girls and I out for a fun night?” There is no manipulation there. You are being direct with what you want. If he takes you, have fun! Make up your mind to have a good time.

In all of this, the end goal is for you to be happy and have some fun. It is not to get your husband to do the same. Your happiness is dependent on you. Don’t be so afraid of your husband that you can’t find joy. Find this joy for you and your family. Not to manipulate him. Through all of this, you might just find that he slowly changes and finds it all contagious (this could take years or it night not happen at all. Don’t let that deter you). Show him that you can be fun and happy and that it is in no way manipulative. He can trust you as his wife because you are doing your duty and you are happy. Always, always keep in mind, changing him is not your goal. Your happiness is your goal. The happiness of your girls is your goal. Work hard to always be honest and direct with your husband, but do it while being happy.

‘They chopped all their heads off. How do you respond to that? You just cry.

‘They are my children. That is what we have been going through and that is what we are going through.’

I am the wheat of God, and am ground by the teeth of the wild beasts, that I may be found the pure bread of God…. I long after the Lord, the Son of the true God and Father, Jesus Christ. Him I seek, who died for us and rose again…. I am eager to die for the sake of Christ. My love has been crucified, and there is no fire in me that loves anything. But there is living water springing up in me, and it says to me inwardly: Come to the Father.

Saint Ignatius of Antioch, Bishop and Martyr

Their bravery is astounding and I pray that they may bring others to Christ.

Their passion for Christ will be the light that draws others to Jesus (Matthew 5:14-16).

Chocolate Mint Thins – these are similar to Elspeth’s Andes Mint cookies only the Andes are cooked right into the dough and then some are then melted and drizzled over the top.

Homemade Toffee

Homemade Caramels - Some of these I leave plain, some I dip in chocolate, and some I simply sprinkle with sea salt

Sugar cookies – For the kids to decorate and leave out for Santa – these I’ll likely cheat on and simply buy the dough from the store. I very much do not like sugar cookies and I also do not like working with the dough. We all enjoy decorating them, though.

This list is ambitious for me and realistically, the toffee or the caramels will be left out. I hope to pass them to some neighbors, the mail lady and a few other people as well. My mom used to do this when we were kids and it is such a fond memory.