Local man not sure if he hates career politicians or Korea politicians more

As 2016 draws to a close the quality of news at The Whip may continue to diminish at an impressive rate. To keep filling our broadsheets we will now dip into our interview archive from the past 22 years.

Neil Mannion, 40, from Harlow, graciously accepted our request for an interview on the 8th of April in 2004. Sitting in the beer garden at the White Lion pub in Great Yarmouth, his discussion with junior reporter Rachel Enway wasn’t green-lightened for publication at the time. Twelve years later however, his enigmatic views are certainly more pertinent than ever before. An excerpt from the encounter follows.

Rachel:What is your stance on career politicians?

Neil: Kim? Don’t like him.

Rachel: Thanks, but we were actually aiming to focus on career politicians in the UK. Do you think they’re equipped to make the right decisions for our nation?

Neil: I didn’t know we had any of them over here. Tony Blair’s immigration policy must be more of a catastrophe than I ever realised!

Rachel: I don’t think you understand what I mean. The likes of David Cameron and George Osborne are often characterised as ‘career politicians’, as their work isn’t in the ‘real world’ – a curious term which often mindlessly excludes elected public service.

Neil: I wasn’t actually aware of their ethno-racial background. They don’t look like they’re from around here now you mention it, but I wouldn’t say their not from this world! I swear Korea’s near Bolivia isn’t it – not Jupiter, you racist. Crikey!

Until recently, Mr Mannion’s family was satisfied he had finally gotten to grips with the distinction between the two varieties of politician. Sadly, he was yesterday spotted boarding an express flight to Pyongyang, placard and loudspeaker in hand. His whereabouts are unconfirmed as of 19/12/16.