Alcohol, No Sex, No Intimacy...Why Am I Here?

Sun, May 22nd 2011

Five years ago I met a man who I believed was the man of my dreams. Sex was never as often as I would have liked. It was not as exotic as I enjoy, and it was basic. However, the rest of our life seemed perfect.

The first 2 years sex became from once every month to six weeks. Now we have not had sex for 3 years, nothing, not a good kiss, no heavy petting, nothing. He claims that due to a varicose vein in his testicle it hurts to have sex.

It has made me feel like less than the beautiful sexy woman I know I am. In addition, when he retired from the military two years ago, he became a heavy drinker, 12-24 beers per day everyday. Emotionally, he has not been there for me when I needed him.

My son, who I am very close to, recently joined the military and left home one week after he graduated. As a single parent most of my life, this was hard for me.

The night my son left, he(this man) blacked out from drinking and was very mean to me.I have not gotten over that and it was almost a year ago. He makes more money than me and even though I contribute to the bills he often reminds me by sarcastic remarks that he is in charge of the money. I have a career and am a semester away from completing my Masters which will give me a promotion so I will be self sufficient.

I love this man, although I am not sure why. I remember how he was when I met him and I am not sure where that person is. We went to therapy and he stopped and refused to go back until I said I was leaving. He also refused to cut back or stop drinking until I said I wanted to leave. now he says he will cut back.

I have a daughter who is still at home and I think she and I need a different environment. We need an environment of peace and stability.

What do you think?

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