For science...you monster

Know this going in: It's not real. This is a fan-made video by YouTube user crazyhalo, and it exists only in our fondest imaginings. That's for the best. If this game were a thing, I would never get anything done.
Dibs on Chell.

Things We Saw Today

Today marks a convergence of geekery: Towel Day (for all you hoopy froods out there), the 37th anniversary of the release of Star Wars, and the Glorious Twenty-Fifth of May. With their powers combined, they are...Geek Pride Day! In celebration, both ThinkGeek and WeLoveFine are offering checkout codes good for 20% off. Hide your wallets.

Just the incredibly graphic story of a man and his crowbar.

The humble crowbar is an iconic weapon in Half-Life, but what's the story behind that particular crowbar, and how did Gordon Freeman get his hands on it? This fan film by Joe Miale just released on Machinima has the answer, and a whole lot of dead scientists. Take a look.

In his continued attempts to control everything we love, today J.J. Abrams said he's in talks with Valve co-founder Gabe Newell about bringing Portal and Half-Life to the big screen. These talks are in the very early stages, and a lot can happen to derail the projects, but Abrams has said, "Both a Portal and Half-Life movie are things I want to see." Us too, Mr. Abrams. Us too.

Fact From the Vapor of Nuance

What were Gabe Newell, founder of game studio Valve, and J.J. Abrams, now for-better-or-for-worse the undisputed master of the two biggest science fiction franches in Hollywood history doing in the same room? They were delivering the keynote conversation of the D.I.C.E. Summit, an annual gathering of video game executives.
What was the sentence the internet went crazy over? Well, I'm not putting it above the jump, it's basically the entire story! Go on. Click.
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Warning: May Contain Feelings

Melbourne, Australia commissioned a cute video to remind its passengers to exercise save behavior when boarding trains or waiting at stations called "Dumb Ways to Die." Seattle's Cinesaurus created this homage video to it all about the Mars Curiosity Rover
I feel obligated to point out that since all the rovers are referred to as "she," like many other inanimate vehicles, this video contains a brief moment of lesbian robot love. It also contains references to Amelia Earhart, Aliens, Half-Life 3, Doctor Who, and at about 1:05, something that just might make an xkcd fan tear up, so that's pretty cool too.
(via Laughing Squid.)

she blinded me with science

Chell and Gordon Freeman are often compared: they're both the completely silent first-person protagonists of shooting-based games made by Valve Studios. The majority of what you see of them in the game is their arms, floating in front of the camera. They have no dialogue, or voice actors. They even, if hints in Portal games are to be taken seriously, exist in the same universe, where Black Mesa, the research facility that is the setting of Half-Life, competes for military contracts with Portal's Aperture Science Laboratories. Redditor Timtimfed has a comedic fan film coming out soon featuring a meeting between the two robot and alien fighting heroes, and prepared this poster for it.
Previously in PortalRead More

Walking through the darkness of your bedroom, you suddenly a feel wet, slimy tendril wrap around your neck, lifting you off your feet toward the ceiling. Unfortunately, you don't have a gun on your person because you thought your bedroom was pretty safe, and instead of shooting your way free, you are pulled up toward the Barnacle and experience an unfortunate death on a ceiling. At least, that's how it'd be if this sweet Half-Life Barnacle lamp created by Daniel Ritthanondh wasn't just a sweet lamp, and was actually the bane of your walking-through-a-dark-hallway existence. Check out another picture after the break, featuring the actual lightbulbs.