Pastoral

As a pastor, I have authority in my community. But authority is not really what I want. What I really want is influence.

Authority is the ability to get people to do what I think they should do. Influence, however, is the ability to move people to want to do what they need to do.

Here’s what I know from Scripture: Pastors/elders/overseers have authority in the local community. Hebrews 13:17 encourages us all to “Obey your spiritual leaders and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God.” First Thessalonians 5:12-13 says, “Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work.” Of course, this isn’t carte blanche for church leaders to have control over every aspect of peoples’ lives, though I bet you have met some leaders who’d like to think so.

Jesus pointed us toward the correct use of authority, both in His strong-yet-compassionate example and in His admonition that we lead through serving and avoid using authority in an “authoritarian” way (Mark 10:42-43).

Paul demonstrated both his authority and his influence when on numerous occasions he reminded the Corinthians of his authority (1 Cor 9:3, 2 Cor 10:8) but was still careful to point out that he was trying to use a different lever when moving their hearts to give: “I am not commanding you to do this…” He urged them to think about the grace and generosity of Jesus to them and let that move them (2 Cor. 8:8-9). Though there were times when he clearly felt the need to lean on authority and give clear instructions about what needed to happen (1 Cor. 5, 2 Cor. 2:9), generally speaking, for Paul, authority wasn’t about getting people to do what he wanted them to do–it was about moving them to want to do what they needed to be doing. “For I want to use the authority the Lord has given me to strengthen you, not to tear you down” (2 Cor. 13:10). It was about using his position in people’s lives to apply the Gospel and speak the Good News of Jesus into individual and corporate situations and let that Good News move them towards maturity.

I’ve come to realize something about the difference between my pastoral authority and my pastoral influence. When I get to a place where I have to lean on authority, because my influence just won’t get the job done, I’ve probably already lost. I may be able to get what I’m after by saying “Because I’m the pastor!” or using phrases like “executive decision” and so win that particular battle. But I’m almost certainly losing the war for maturity, for the strengthening of others in my community, and in my own soul.

I agree with those who say that our authority is rooted in relationship. I think it’s also rooted in our influence and our ability to demonstrate the life we are calling others toward, to live transparent lives seeking Jesus and invite others to join us. Our influence grows as people see the consistency with which we live these lives, the good that comes out of it for ourselves and others and the depth of our love for Jesus and for them.

Our influence comes from being able to stand before our communities and echo with a clear conscience the words of Paul: “Follow me as I follow Christ.” First Peter 5:3 encourages elders, “Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example.”

Authority is quickly gained. All you need is a title. Influence takes time. It takes constancy and attention to the small things. It is slowly gained, but quickly lost–by a stray comment, an unthinking response, an inability to own our mistakes and repent of them. People don’t want perfection (well, some do), but what they do want is someone they can respect, someone who lives the life they are calling others to, even the hard parts of repentance and sacrifice and humility.

Critiquing and minimizing pastoral authority is very much in vogue right now. But the reason this is currently part of the zeitgeist in the Church in the West is not because pastoral authority isn’t biblical, but rather because it’s been wielded in such unbiblical ways.

Lord, let us recover a spirit of mutual submission in the Church, let leaders lead with a Christ-like spirit of servanthood, and let us all follow those elders in our community in such a way that we fulfill the biblical commandment and “Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow.”

A gift, a tool, a mirror and an emotional colonoscopy.

Oftentimes this is the response I give when people ask me how my three-month sabbatical was this past fall.

When my wife and I, along with some faith-filled friends, started our church seven years ago we were excited, thrilled, expectant and scared out of our minds. It’s been an amazing, exhausting, exhilarating, encouraging, terrifying, thrilling, discouraging journey all in one. (As I have talked to several dozen church planters we all seem to describe the process in eerily similar ways.) But seven years of high-adrenaline, high-stakes, full-schedule, long to-do list, significant decision-making ministry can take its toll on a leader’s soul.

When the elders of our church came to us several months ago to offer this gift of time to rest, reflect and be refreshed, we were honored. They did not believe I was burned out; they simply wanted us to rest after seven years. We were grateful that they truly wanted to care for us to make sure our souls, our marriage, our family – and our church – were healthy in the long run. During the three months I reflected a lot (saw a counselor, spent time with my life coach, journaled daily), engaged in life-giving activity (took several out of state trips, visited several major and minor league baseball parks, made lasting family memories) and engaged in life-giving non-activity (read a lot, ate good food, delighted in nature and took naps).

During my time, the sabbatical taught me many things – too much to communicate all of them in the space provided – but here are four of the more significant lessons I learned.

[1] I am responsible to the people in my church, but I am not responsible for them. This phrase (something my friend Bob Hyatt first shared with me) has stuck me with the past few years. Sabbatical helped me see that I have a role in the lives of people, but not an ultimate role. One friend, a pastor in Texas, offered me a wise piece of advice: “You can carry people’s dirty clothes to the laundromat, but you cannot wash them clean. That’s someone else’s job.” I knew this, but I needed one, giant reminder of something crucial to the essence of ministry: our church is Christ’s church, not mine. I play a part, but the part I play is not the primary role.

[2] Rest is not just a good idea; it’s absolutely crucial in the life of a kingdom leader. Additionally, I came to see that the world needs more rested leaders. Before the sabbatical I thought I maintained healthy rhythms and I didn’t believe I was that tired or worn out. Boy, was I wrong. Looking back, I would call the first month of the sabbatical a “detox.” Even the healthiest of pastors are addicted to adrenaline – and I was one of those adrenaline addicts. The most disconcerting part is that pastors don’t even realize this addiction because adrenaline has become so normalized in our schedules. When sabbatical started and I unhooked from the stimuli (turned my phone off for a large portion of each day, only checked email once a week and completely signed out of all social media for three months) I had an “adrenaline crash.” Fortunately, I was not burned out, but I was depleted – much more than I ever imagined. I slept well each night – in addition to an almost-daily two-hour afternoon nap those first three weeks. While the post-sabbatical schedule doesn’t allow for daily afternoon naps, I’ve come to grips with how I’ve become lazy with my sleep and rest standards for my life. Disciplining myself to go to bed earlier than before has become a spiritual discipline as I realize that sometimes the most spiritual thing I can do today is to be in bed before midnight.

[3] Sabbatical is like taking an exam. When pastors step away from an extended period of time, it’s not just good for the leader and his/her family. It’s good for the church as a whole. It gives opportunities for people in the community to step up and use their gifts further, deeper and in a more focused and evident way.

One of the most meaningful comments from one of our leaders upon my return was when he said, “We missed you… but we didn’t miss you.” I knew what he meant by his tone and body language: we missed having you around relationally, but the church did well in your absence. I was thrilled to hear this. Had the church fallen apart, panicked or looked around wondering what to do for the next three months, it would not be a poor reflection of them; rather, it would have been a poor reflection of their leader. By God’s grace, he has provided our church with leaders who are faith-filled, confident, competent, flexible, patient and courageous. God has called me over the past seven years

[4] The Church of Jesus Christ is broad, vast, varied and worships in many different expressions. One of the unique parts of sabbatical was being free from responsibility on Sunday mornings. My family and I were able to visit about a dozen different churches (both local and out of state). It reminded me again what it is like to be a first time guest at a church. It also allowed us to be fully present with God, not having to worry about what is next in the service or if the logistical elements of a gathering will be tied up prior to the Call to Worship. It was refreshing and life giving and allowed our family to see what God’s Church is doing in various expressions. We all walked away each Sunday morning with a greater appreciation and expanding view of the Kingdom of God in it’s contextualized local expressions scattered all over the country. We knew this in theory, but it was great to experience it first-hand.

I am excited to be back in the saddle, feeling rested and excited for this next phase of ministry at our church. I highly recommend sabbaticals for pastors and church planters. I want to encourage church planters, pastors and elders to talk openly and honestly about what a culture of healthy rhythms of work and rest looks like in their particular context. I recommend sabbaticals, not simply because it sounds like a good idea (I mean, who wouldn’t want some extended time off?) but because by doing so you will see things and learn things you can’t learn when you are maxed out, busy and distracted. Your church will learn how to mature and grow without becoming unhealthily dependent upon the pastor. Additionally, it models for the community a culture of rest and life-giving rhythm in what it means to live freely and lightly as kingdom agents.