Exactly. He’s gonna make America great again and America’s returning the favor by dissolving him of all his sins.

You mean absolving.

Hey dude, why do you keep correcting me if you get what I mean in the first place.

Sorry. Force of habit.

Amazing stuff is gonna happen, bro. It’s a whole new ballgame. Do you want to be that idiot who one day looks himself in the mirror and says: How could I have been so stupid to miss the greatest opportunity of my career.

Maybe it’s a matter of principle for me. Ever think about that?

Yeah? No kidding. Well just check out the market, bro. Check out those principles why don’t you. The market been goin’ through the roof up there on Wall Street ever since the election, bro.

You own stocks?

That’s for me to know and you to find out.

Sure – only you don’t own zilch. You don’t even own a car.

Says who?

Says, like, your girlfriend. You borrow your moms.

Now you’re trying to change the subject to make me forget what an idiot you are.

You can call me an idiot if you want, but I got a fan base to look after. If I did the inauguration I’d be dead meat for my fans.

Sure all ten of them!

Actually there are a few more–

You’ll have so many new fans cause you will kick ass in DC on the 20th. Just look at the competition, dude. The Rockettes? The Moron tabernacle choir?

You’re not worried about what’ll happen to this country? The havoc he’ll cause in the world?

Of course not. He’s built fantastic companies. He knows how to make great deals. He wrote the book, dude!

Yeah, but–

Listen, did you enjoy the election or not. Wasn’t it, for maybe the first time in our lives fun to watch? Exciting even?

Yeah. Never a dull moment.

Exactly, and that tells you what his presidency is going to be like. Stuff is gonna happen. And that’s cool. That’s what we need around here. Those fossilfied establishment PC-pussys and PC-wimps can whine about it all they want. It’s showtime, dude, and you have a chance to help kick it off.

The word is fossilized.

Hey man, I warned you about that. Now repeat after me: “I am going to play at the inauguration!”