Monday, January 18, 2016

Furry Freeloaders - Cute Cat Edition

I have cats. Not a crazy cat lady amount, just two, but that is plenty in a small one bedroom apartment. They are adorable. They sleep on my feet at night and purr in my face in the morning.

However, sadly, they are also freeloaders. It has come to my attention that other cats pull their weight. I'm not even talking about Grumpy Cat, whose popularity seems to be due to a genetic fluke of nature. I can't hold my cat's inherently cheerful visages against them. No, I'm talking about actual working cats. I'm going to need to let my cats know that the free ride ends now.

For instance, my cousin recently brought Maru to my attention. Maru seems to be famous simply for liking boxes. Cardboard boxes that is. Now, my cats like boxes too but not in a particularly photogenic way. Rather, they like boxes in a way that knocks things off tables or wakes me up in the middle of the night. They like boxes in the absolute opposite of a helpful way.

(Quick aside here to note that one of my cats just walked up to me and started headbutting me and purring. She's trying, bless her heart. I tried to videotape it, but she's all black. It's like a black shadow where cute is supposed to be. How am I supposed to work with that?)

Then there's Nala. I have to give her owner some credit for this one. The videos don't show her doing anything particularly spectacular, but they are nicely edited with music. I mean, my cats (if you could actually see them in videos) do basically the things this cat does. But my cats do not have a twitter feed. Lazy.

Then we've got Chris Cohen's cat (a personal favorite of mine). It talks. I mean. My cats meow plenty, but they have yet to learn English, much less delightfully accented English. I'm thisclose to signing them up for some ESL classes and hoping for the best.

Anyway, my cats are lucky they have good personalities. I've been covering their share of the rent for years. Here is the failed video I took of my cat, if anyone wants to see a cat doing absolutely nothing.