No need for the ‘freak’

I had a frank talk with Sean this morning about his dating life. I was concerned about his choice in women, and told him to think about the last time he had a true “girlfriend” (and not just a bed fellow).

Granted, our conversations are always of the tough-love variety. But, until now, he and I have always sort of joked about his lack of dating success. I needed a moment of seriousness, one where we explored what was wrong to see how we could make it right — and find Sean a true relationship (something he wants).

Today he has a date with someone he met — yesterday — on Match. He sent me her initial email, and her profile. She sounded unique, confident and like the type who owns her choices.

I liked her immediately.

Then I saw a video featuring her and, well, let’s just say my opinion flipped. For anonymity sake, I’ll pass on the details of why I was so turned off. But, it was enough to make Sean doubt her, too (and we know his judgement).
I did tell him, though, that I had one observation that could be a positive — I suspected her bedroom skills would be right up there with someone from the Emperor’s Club.

His response: That’s not my priority anymore.

My heart swelled. Finally, at 30, Sean was growing up.

He was finally ready for someone who could be Mrs. Sean, and who he could bring home to Mr. and Mrs. Sean, Sr.

I’ve enjoyed your posts about “Sean” and hope to see more :)
Your Sean does sound like he’s growing up and maybe thinking more
big picture about what type of woman to bring home to anyone to check out.

Ideally, the perfect woman for him is great looking with a good personality. He can always “teach” her new/improved bedroom skills at a later date.

This has probably been suggested before but would Sean ever be open to writing a guest post for your blog? Is he going into the date totally open minded or is he just going through with it because he already set it up before discovering said incriminating video?

She’s probably confident enough to do whatever video it was and can own the fact that she did it. People have pasts and mistakes — I’d rather deal with mistakes that can’t be hidden. So, maybe Sean should give it a chance. Does he plan to?

I don’t know exactly what you saw that you didn’t like so this may not be applicable to the situation. But I do hate it when people consider women who are upfront about their sexuality to be damaged goods or otherwise have something wrong with them. Even exhibitionism, if that’s what’s bothering you, is just one aspect of someone’s personality.

Everyone has their dealbreakers; heck, I won’t date people who drive SUVs. We’re allowed to be as petty as we want about our own tastes and choices. But this sounds to me more like a character judgment, like you’re saying, “Yuck, everyone should keep away from girls like that,” and that’s pretty close-minded.

Yeah I am new as well to the Sean saga. I picture him as a slightly overweight, World of Warcraft playing, sweet guy, though.

Maybe you can’t judge the girl solely on that video. I mean, your judgement of her is probably correct, but I’m glad he went out with her on the 2% change that you are incorrect. Can’t wait to hear how it went!

So that you tube video of me stumbling drunk out of the club crying, tripping over the curb, breaking my heel, vomiting into the trash can, and then kissing a homeless man… is NOT a good thing? It’s the crying part isn’t it?!?!… Damn. I should have known.

Kidding.

My point here is, if whatever was posted is THAT bad and she is ok with it… then you may want to run far far away. But if it was one mistake… I don’t know, no one’s perfect.

Although, it’s hard to say when we don’t know what it is/was/how/what/where/when or why.