Saturday, April 01, 2006

Stories About Good Internet Dates

These follow the same pattern, with two possible conclusions.

1. See man on the line OR man sees you.2. Like look of each other.3. Note with interest that object of interest writes well, and is funny (therefore is clever).4. Exchange some emails.5. Decide to talk on phone.6. Talk on phone.7. Still like each other.8. Decide to meet.9. Meet.

THEN:

Find self surprised that person is in flesh as attractive as you had thought, or more so. (They are never quite as you expect them to be.) Spend evening together (or whatever it is you fancy doing). Get on well. Have very good time. Thank the Lord for the gift of the internationsuperhighwaynet. Exchange Awful Date Stories. Discover probably know someone the other knows. Kiss, or something. See each other again. Keep having nice time. Kiss again. Etc. Repeat*. OR don't do the kissing part, but keep in touch as like each other a lot. Become very good friends.** That's it really.

* then you get into Relationship Land, and then whatever rules you normally apply apply. One tip here: if you find the rules you usually apply never work (e.g. sleeping with them on first date, introducing them to your colleagues on 3rd date, suggesting third date is Taking In A Show Up West and Then A Bite To Eat At A Top London Eaterie), do the EXACT opposite of what you usually do, as an experiment. You'll be married before the year is up.

** I met two of my favourite people in the world through online dates. But here's how this works: the second one is now going out with another very good friend of mine, and the first one is going out with someone he met at the party of my best friend's boyfriend, who she met online. See? It works.

There's another way, too. Sometimes - for lots of reasons, a good one being that they have left the country for 3 months, which is something that has only very recently happened to me - you actually get involved in a good old-fashioned correspondence with someone interesting. You write each other letters. You look forward to their emails because they're interesting, funny, silly, sad, informative. Just plain well-written. And you do actually get to know each other a bit. You have to try and avoid getting romantic notions because there's that old chemistry thing that happens (or doesn't) when you meet, but this is one of the reasons why I like dating on the line so much. My only caveat here is that if they are in the country, and less than 100 miles away, there's really no good reason to correspond for that long without meeting. But if you come across someone who then goes a long, long way away a couple of days after you've started emailing each other and you both like writing: lucky you. (By the way, the conclusion to my 3 month story is that I've met him, and yes, he's a top bloke, and kind of like I thought he'd be.)

There aren't really any good stories here. Because they end well. Dull, isn't it?