In April of 2014, TMZ reported that police found Andre Johnson, a Wu-Tang Clan-affiliated rapper who performs under the name Christ Bearer, on a North Hollywood sidewalk critically injured. Under the influence of angel dust, a depressed Johnson cut off his own penis and jumped off the balcony in what was believed to be a suicide attempt. It was later confirmed that despite his miraculously stable condition, doctors were unable to reattach his penis. Johnson spoke with VICE for World Mental Health Day to talk about what life has been like since the horrific accident.

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Johnson details his depression leading up to that night:

My life had descended into a fog of depression after being prevented from seeing my daughters by their mother, and I was feeling as if nothing was going right. Then, just as I thought my situation couldn't get any worse, it did in a dramatic way. I had been smoking weed and PCP one day, trying to blot out the misery of life with drugs, when I lost all contact with reality and took the somewhat insane step of cutting my own penis off and jumping from a balcony. Dark, destructive thoughts had been running through my head under the influence of the dust, and I just thought, "Fuck it. Maybe I'm better off without this thing so I can't have any more kids, seeing as things are going so badly with the ones that I've already brought into this world."

He does not discuss his current physical condition any further, nor does he mention his children again at any point.

He credited his faith as a big part of how he pulled through the "horrific episode that would have destroyed a lesser man," but it seems as though it was the media backlash surrounding him afterward that hurt him more than anything.

The Wu-Tang Clan publicly announced they were not affiliated with Johnson and hundreds of major outlets mocked him openly by highlighting his depression — Johnson says the backlash began before anyone knew he'd been on drugs at the time. "That doesn't exactly send out a positive message about people who are struggling with mental health issues," Johnson told VICE.

As the attention surrounding his story died down, Johnson focused on making "self-deprecating jokes about my accident to keep my spirits up and continued to make my music in the hope of empowering others," as well as trying to change how people who suffer from mental health issues are portrayed in the media. "The media defines societal opinions, but also reflects them," he explained: "Just as I was ultimately responsible for my own recovery, we are all responsible for bringing about the change we want to see."

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