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Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Continuing Our Infertility Journey...

Prologue: This post will discuss details of our struggle with infertility and our journey to try and start a family. Personal details may be discussed. If you are uninterested in this aspect of our lives, feel free to not read this post. I will not be offended. I chose to write about our journey for reasons including it is therapeutic for me and also to hopefully be able to touch someone who may also be struggling with this unfortunate circumstance in hopes that they will find some comfort in knowing they are not alone. One of the positives of our infertility is that it has brought us in contact with other couples who have had challenges, some of whom have become close, personal friends.

So I haven't written in awhile because not a lot has happened the past 6 months. Ok, we'll that's not exactly true. Most of you probably know that back in December I had to have my gallbladder removed. Well, what you may not know is this circumstances that surrounded the surgery and my hospitalizations. Yes, I said hospitalizations , as in I was admitted to the hospital two seperate times.

Harrison's parents had been talking about doing a big trip with us, his sister Frances and her husband Jeremy for some time and after a lot of conversation and planning, we were booked to go to Hawaii for 10 days over Christmas. I have always wanted to go to Hawaii, so this was truly a dream vacation for me. On December 14, four days before we were supposed to leave, I started having some sharp pains under my right arm between my ribs. I had an appointment with my pain doctor that day anyway, so I told her about it and there was a little concern with all the hormone injections from our most recent fertility cycle might have caused a blood clot in my lung. I had undergone an insemination about 10 days before so I was about due to find out if I was pregnant or not right when we would be leaving for Hawaii. The pain wasn't unbearable but bad enough where my nurse practitioner was concerned and suggested just to be safe, it was probably a good idea to go to the ER.

So I called Harrison and told him it was probably nothing but my mom was going to take me to the hospital and that I'd probably be home in time for dinner. Way wrong. Upon getting to the ER and telling them I might be pregnant, they immediately did a blood test to check before they would do any X-rays or tests to see what was going on. The test came back negative. I was disappointed but kinda too preoccupied with the pain and everything else going on to really get upset at that point. After some tests, it was determined that I had a large gallstone and some other digestive issues. I was admitted to the hospital that evening. I didn't have surgery till 2 days later on Saturday and was released feeling pretty good on Sunday. I was sent home with a drain but my doctor said once I got that out on Monday at his office, that I could probably still go to Hawaii a few days late on Wednesday. Harrison and I talked a lot about it and while I was cleared to go, something about it just didn't feel right and we decided it would be best not to push myself too hard and not go on the trip. Well, that ended up being the right decision, because on Thursday night I started experiencing the most intense pain in my side I have ever had and we rushed back to the ER. More tests revealed that my stomach and intestines had basically shut down from the anesthesia and weren't digesting or processing anything I had eaten. I was readmitted to the hospital and spent 4 days there, being discharged on Christmas Eve afternoon.

The whole ordeal completely and totally sucked the life out of me emotionally and physically.
It took me several weeks, probably close to 2 months before I felt normal again and regained my energy. During those two months after meeting with my current doctors and some new digestive specialists, I was diagnosed with a couple mild to moderate stomach and digestive issues. Harrison and I decided with all my body had been through emotionally and physically, it was time to take a break from fertility treatments for a little while. We had done 9 straight months of drugs with 5 inseminations and I just wasn't emotionally ready to start that all over again. Plus, we had met with our doctor and had been told that we had only one injectable cycle left before he would recommend that we pursue in vitro fertilization (IVF). So the past six months we have just been living life and enjoying each other.

Once June rolled around, I decided that maybe I was ready to start things up again. The only downfall to taking a break for six months is that I had had six months to think about "our last chance" and to let negative thoughts get the best of me. After a few breakdowns, lots of tears and prayer, a meeting with our doctor to calm some of my fears, and waiting 2 weeks to get our fertility medications from England, we are ready to begin what is most likely our last shot at conceiving before IVF will put on the table. (The reason for this is because after doing 3 injectable medication rounds, the chances of becoming pregnant via this method begins to decline. My doctor explained to us that after 6 months of clomid and 3 rounds of strong injectable medication, if you haven't gotten pregnant and your infertility is unexplained, which mine is, then you most likely have an issue that will only be addressed and solved with IVF.)

So here we go. I go to the doctor today for a progesterone shot to induce a period becuase I havent had one in 12 weeks. I will be have an ultrasound before I start the medications on day 3 of my cycle. I will be getting blood work and ultrasounds done every couple days to monitor things and we will do an insemination in about 2 weeks. Then there is the dreaded waiting period of 2 weeks before I find put if I am in fact pregnant or not. All I can ask of each of you is to pray diligently for us during the next month. Pray that I can remain calm, relaxed, and as anxiety and stress free as possible. Pray for Harrison as he has to deal with me and the inevitable mood swings that are the lovely side effect of the massive amounts of hormones. Pray that we continually seek and trust God, his timing, purpose, and plan for our live and our journey to parenthood. I love you all and thank you so much for your support and prayers.