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You have more than one fic?...I write so slowly I can't imagine having more than one at all, ever.

Hello! I'm still pretty new here too. Only been here for a month. Sadly I don't write . I read... a lot. So I can proofread for stuff if anyone wants me too. I'm pretty good at spelling and grammar.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satashi

Spoiler for Week pt.6:

Let's see...

bikini for underwear: check

Tight jeans to show off my magical curves: check

Comfortable shirt that shows off my tummy: check

Purse with all my stuff in it...: check, check, check, check, check.

Tickets: check and double check!

Okay! I was ready for the day now! I grabbed my purse and ran out of my bedroom, almost knocking Chrono over in the process. I stuck my tongue out at him when he made a remark about me being careless lately and jogged down the stairs. "Mom, I'm off!"

"I want them to stare at me!" I protested, trying to be cute by stomping my foot and pouting. "Please Mom? I am a big girl."

"Well... Okay. Since it's your date after all." She hugged me back when I glomped her. Lindy had supported me for a long time now about my feelings so this was not much of a shock to her at all.

As I ran down the walkway to the elevator I could barely contain myself. A date! With Nanoha! At an amusement park! Truthfully I had always wanted to go to one but was too shy to voice the opinion aloud. It was odd, considering I was basically bouncing right now. When had I become such a giddy school girl?

The rest if the way to our meeting place was made much too slowly for my liking. A slow bus ride, traffic, and running the remaining little bit to reach the clock tower. Nanoha was already there, and I realized I was a few minutes late. "Sorry," I greeted her, slightly out of breath. Nanoha turned to look at me and I caught sight of her fully. Tight tight jeans, hot pink sides of her bikini bottom running along her hips, and a white shirt tied off under her breast to show off her full stomach.

Oh god, I was drooling.

"Hello Honey!" Nanoha ran over to me and looped our arms again, reaching around with her other to take my hand in a full embrace. "Are you ready? This will be your first time, right?"

"Y-yeah," I was stammering again. Somehow my shy-girl habits were starting to surface again. Oh no, what if I embarrass myself!? Take a breath. Calm down... good. "Is it far?" I just realized I didn't know how to get there.

"Not very," Nanoha giggled and started pulling me along with her. Along the way we talked about nothing and everything, going from our friends, school, our time off, to how much we hated homework. It was weird, just talking like this. WE've done it countless times but now... She was up against me, smiling, holding my arm, listening to every word I said with that cute interested look on her face...

I was in heaven. I swear I was.

I would be drooling if I saw the both of them. Fate is so cute! Can't wait for the next one Satashi!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junkedcat

No written down work has been done on the next segment but i do have an idea on what it will be about. It shall be tittled "Noodle".

Noodle? Intriguing...can't wait to see it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Rick

For those who read my Before Rise of Techno - Union, Hayate, here is the aspect of Dr. Faust

And thus I bring a piece to the FF thread. entitled PT is lotsa fun...Right? (for best effect, imagine a sweatdrop at the end.)

Title: PT is Lotsa Fun...right?Rating: T+ (Rated for some... light profanity. On the other hand, there's a reason USMC running cadences are only taught to recruits 18 and older.)Summary: When the Order of Freelance Mages arrives for joint training with Riot Force 6, the Assault Platoon will know the heard way why Takamachi Nanoha is called the White Devil...Genre: Humor.

Spoiler for PT is lotsa fun...right?:

Chronological note: This takes place a short time after Nanoha teaches Teana that the way to go is to be a human CIWS.

Teana ignored her friend, focusing on keeping pace... secretly annoyed at the OFM Assault Platoon mages who were running in front of the Forwards. Her white t-shirt was getting wet with sweat, and she was starting to feel a burn in her legs from the five mile run. The fact that the ten mages had lapped her and Subaru several times hadn't helped her feelings... especially considering that unlike the Stars forwards, they were wearing Barrier Jackets, of a design bulkier and heavier than standard Barrier Jackets. How anyone could run that fast wearing body armor was an impossibility! Especially that giant of a man, who ran in a barrier jacket that looked more like metal powered armor, his boots thudding with louder sounds than his fellows.

And to add insult, they were singing. Throaty singing that was more like shouting, but still singing. And the oldest member of the 10-man "platoon", Sergeant Major Ivanovich, was perversely still running strong, despite being 50 and looking old and weathered, and he hadn't even broken a sweat.

Teana and Subaru reached their invisble finishing line and slowed to a stop, Teana bending over and supporting herself on her knees, catching her breath, as Erio and Caro finished their morning warm up and Nanoha arrived to begin basic training, with Fate, Vita and Signum in tow. Surprisingly, Carim was here today, as well as her aide Shach, and even Hayate had popped by to take a look on them.

Teana had a feeling that something big would be happening, but had no clue as to what.

* * * * *

"So, Emili-neechan, why are we heading to the training grounds again...?" said a teenaged girl with long brown hair, braided neatly.

"Glen wants us to keep an eye on Franz," said the purple-haired OFM Air Force XO to her apprentice and wingman. "You know how he's been itching for a rematch against Nanoha, right?"

"Oh, yeah," agreed Naomi Jaeger fervantly, the vigorous nodding of her head shaking up her brown hair. "I remember; from four years ago, right? That was when he was going on and on about hot blood and true spirit of men, and the time when Glen and Signum had their match. Oh. Crap."

Emili merely clenched her teeth at the 4-year-old memory and stared straight ahead, glaring daggers at the back of Signum's head, and Naomi breathed a quiet sigh of relief as they approached the small group, waving to Shamal and Zafira who popped by. "Doctor Shamal! Zafira!"

"It takes all kinds to make the people in the universe," laughed Shamal. "And I'm sure everyone is looking forward to Franz-kun's rematch with Nanoha-chan."

"Oh, yeah," agreed Emili. "That's why we're up here to keep an eye on him. I love that boy like a brother, but he's a walking disaster waiting to happen."

Shamal diplomatically refrained from commenting on the fact that Franz was much older than Emili and turned to where, in the distance, the black-armored forms of the Assault Platoon were running, approaching, their cadence call carried in front of them by the wind:

"I don't know but I've been told,
Sotoa pussy's mighty cold!"

"That's terrible," said Shamal. "It's not nice to mock a planet that nuked itself into a nuclear winter."

"They're just trying to hide from their fears by making fun of it," handwaved Naomi. "That's what boys do."

"I don't know but I've been told,
Farbanti pussy's mighty cold!"

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Technically, when I'm meditating and focusing a freezing aura all over myself, 'it' does get cold... so it's the truth," Naomi replied, cracking her knuckles, smiling sweetly at Shamal. Jenkins. I'll kill you when Bruder isn't looking.

"I don't know but I've been told,
Mid-Childa pussy's mighty cold!"

"Ne, ne, Tea, what're they saying? What's the matter with you? Are you mad? I mean, I don't get how cats here can be cold..." asked Subaru, confused as to the rising anger and fury on Tea's face.

[Load Cartridge] chimed Cross Mirage helpfully.

"I don't know but I've been told,
Belka pussy's mighty cold!"

It was as if an electric shock rang through Hayate, Carim, Shach and the female Volkenritter, who all stiffened and turned with infinite slowness to face the Assault Platoon.

"It's...just...a... marching song..." began Fate nervously and valiantly, though her efforts were halted by the next line:

"I don't know but I've been told,
Enforcer pussy's mighty cold!"

"...On second thoughts, I'll join you guys."

"I don't know but I've been told,
Loli pussy's mighty cold!"

A double whammy, this time, for both Vita and Caro. Well, mostly Vita, who had been called a loli behind her back many times (and to her face once, by Franz, before she kicked his ass). Caro looked unsure, but had a hunch it was probably a bad thing... as Vita was visible manifesting an aura.

"Might wanna tone it down, LT!" called Sergeant Major Ivanovich, as he made out the figures in the distance. "Don't wanna get divine wrath on us!"

"Nah, we still gotta ways to go," called back Franz, grinning despite the exertion (and jealous of how Ivanovich never seemed to sweat). "Keep it up, Jenkins!"

It took all of Naomi's willpower not to squeak and hide behind Emili. She was fifteen, a Lance-Corporal, a trained and skilled mage, with three years of experience, and a combat veteran, not some little girl! But the look on Shamal's face...a look of cheerful, smiling retribution... the same look Shari-san had gotten looking over her Device Sparrow...

"Now, now, Fate-chan, Hayate-chan, they're just kidding," laughed Nanoha nervously. "There's no need for using your Jackets.... eh?" Looking around, practically every female except for her, Emili and Naomi was now in her Barrier Jacket, Device at the ready, cartridges loaded, ready to bring divine punishment to the enemies of women. "Now, we can settle this peacefully..."

The awful cadence died off in a chorus of "Left, right, left, right," and then "Pla-TOON...HALT!" and the Assault Platoon came to a stop. "Platoon, at ease!" ordered Franz, and cocked a quizzical glance at the assmebled angry women. "Is something wrong?" he asked curiously, oblivious to the total danger.

Emili and Naomi smacked their foreheads. "Baka," they muttered.

"NOW!" thundred Hayate, and the most intense magical barrage ever recorded by Riot Force 6 began in earnest.

* * * * *

Five minutes later, when the smoke and dust finally cleared, the only persons left standing werSergeant Major Ivanovich and the Master Chief. Chief's armor was pristine and spotless, only looking slightly wet, strangely. Ivanovich's Barrier Jacket's armor and outer layer were gone, revealing the mottled black and gray camoflage fatigue underlayer, and he looked at Franz, who lay groaning on the ground.

"Lieutenant, I TOLD you we should have toned it down."

"I know, you were right," groaned Franz, which managed to save Ivanovich and Chief from another magical barrage, as Nanoha and her compatriots realised that Franz was the man responsible for that deeply sexist cadence. "Am I dead yet?"

"Lieutenant Nailo and Lance-Corporal Jaeger are coming."

"Crap."

"FRANZ! HOW DARE YOU GET THE SERGEANT MAJOR IN TROUBLE! ON TOP OF BEING A PERVERT! MAKE YOUR PIECE WITH GOD!"

"BRUDER! YOU'RE NOT DYING BEFORE I GET A CRACK AT YOU!"

"Good luck, LT," said Ivanovich, patting him on the shoulder, and went to check on the rest of the Assault Platoon with Chief.

"Oh, Guinness, he'll chain me at a desk and do more paperwork. Unlimited Paper Works again?! I will never get laid at this point," groand Franz, thinking of his most hated skill and most hated job. "Damnit I've been paperwork's bitch for thirteen years, I should be getting laid by now, not stuck doing paperwork!"

"...Do you really deserve to get laid?" asked the Sergeant Major, out of a sense of morbid curiousity.

"Hell yeah."

"That's what you're thinking of? At a time like this?" demanded Emili, her increasing her running speed. "Show some remorse! Emili Kicku, GEAR SECOND!"

The tsuntsun Air Force mage blurred forward and kicked Franz into the air, her leg lashing out faster than the eye could track, landing innumerable hits on him before landing one final kick that sent him flying towards Naomi. Emili's apprentice leapt into the sky and performed a spin kick, one that connected solidly with Franz - who was less protected than normal, as his armor had been blown clear off.

"Ichigeki Hisatsu! Naomi kicku, CRITICAL HIT!"

The force of the kick caught him in the gut and caused him to cough up a bit of blood as he flew back towards Emili, who responded by employing Emili Kicku ~ Gear Second on his back; over a hundred kicks landed on him in the blink of an eye, sending him flying back towards Naomi, who delivered another of her kicks. Naomi didn't have cyborg legs like Emili, but she made up for that in accuracy, power on target, and by forming a shoe of ice around her boot; the hard ice giving more force to her kick as well as adding frost damage. The fact that the kick grazed his balls and slammed into his gut didn't hurt either.

Franz sailed through the air and landed in a heap in front of Shamal, bruised and injured, and looked up at the sweet, smiling cute blonde's face.

"Franz," she said, with all the sweetness in the world, "Do you deserve to be healed?"

"urrrghh..."

"I'll take that as a no," smiled Shamal sweetly, and proceeded to stomp on him. Hard.

* * * * *
Shamal was eventually persuaded to treat the rest of the Assault Platoon, except for Chief, who was unscathed, and Ivanovich, who to the consternation of all escaped unscratched, with not even any traces of being hit by magical damage or signs of damage for using Jacket Purge to detonate his Jacket's outer layer. The much-awaited Nanoha/Franz rematch was postponed for a few days to let him heal (most of his damage was from the Chain Combo Emili and Naomi had subjected him to), to the annoyance of everyone who had shown up especially for the rematch.

At the end of the fiasco, when Franz was finally released from the infirmary, Glen's displeasure was made very clear.

"You. Desk. Unlimited Paper Works. Now. And I wonder how the hell you could pass OCS on your first try and do something as stupid as this. Does all that hot blood kill off your brain cells?"

"As much as UPW kills my love life."

"You don't DESERVE to have a love life. Finish that paperwork."

The EPIC CADENCE in the youtube is "Fired Up, Feels Good" as it appears in The Unit (the extended version). It was the first version of Fired Up I could find... and well, it's pretty good. It's where I got the lyrics for the first cadence.

The second cadence... I think this cadence must be one of the more infamous ones.... The original line, as immortalised by Full Metal Jacket, originally went "I don't know but I've been told, Eskimo pussy's mighty cold!"

What was the real point of this? Just an excericise in writing Epic Lulz, really, taking a break from my normal more serious stuff.

__________________

~Speaking my mind, even when it costs me~One must forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.Heinrich Heine.

Teana ignored her friend, focusing on keeping pace... secretly annoyed at the OFM Assault Platoon mages who were running in front of the Forwards. Her white t-shirt was getting wet with sweat, and she was starting to feel a burn in her legs from the five mile run. The fact that the ten mages had lapped her and Subaru several times hadn't helped her feelings... especially considering that unlike the Stars forwards, they were wearing Barrier Jackets, of a design bulkier and heavier than standard Barrier Jackets. How anyone could run that fast wearing body armor was an impossibility! Especially that giant of a man, who ran in a barrier jacket that looked more like metal powered armor, his boots thudding with louder sounds than his fellows.

And to add insult, they were singing. Throaty singing that was more like shouting, but still singing. And the oldest member of the 10-man "platoon", Sergeant Major Ivanovich, was perversely still running strong, despite being 50 and looking old and weathered, and he hadn't even broken a sweat.

Teana and Subaru reached their invisble finishing line and slowed to a stop, Teana bending over and supporting herself on her knees, catching her breath, as Erio and Caro finished their morning warm up and Nanoha arrived to begin basic training, with Fate, Vita and Signum in tow. Surprisingly, Carim was here today, as well as her aide Shach, and even Hayate had popped by to take a look on them.

Teana had a feeling that something big would be happening, but had no clue as to what.

* * * * *

"So, Emili-neechan, why are we heading to the training grounds again...?" said a teenaged girl with long brown hair, braided neatly.

"Glen wants us to keep an eye on Franz," said the purple-haired OFM Air Force XO to her apprentice and wingman. "You know how he's been itching for a rematch against Nanoha, right?"

"Oh, yeah," agreed Naomi Jaeger fervantly, the vigorous nodding of her head shaking up her brown hair. "I remember; from four years ago, right? That was when he was going on and on about hot blood and true spirit of men, and the time when Glen and Signum had their match. Oh. Crap."

Emili merely clenched her teeth at the 4-year-old memory and stared straight ahead, glaring daggers at the back of Signum's head, and Naomi breathed a quiet sigh of relief as they approached the small group, waving to Shamal and Zafira who popped by. "Doctor Shamal! Zafira!"

"It takes all kinds to make the people in the universe," laughed Shamal. "And I'm sure everyone is looking forward to Franz-kun's rematch with Nanoha-chan."

"Oh, yeah," agreed Emili. "That's why we're up here to keep an eye on him. I love that boy like a brother, but he's a walking disaster waiting to happen."

Shamal diplomatically refrained from commenting on the fact that Franz was much older than Emili and turned to where, in the distance, the black-armored forms of the Assault Platoon were running, approaching, their cadence call carried in front of them by the wind:

"I don't know but I've been told,
Sotoa pussy's mighty cold!"

"That's terrible," said Shamal. "It's not nice to mock a planet that nuked itself into a nuclear winter."

"They're just trying to hide from their fears by making fun of it," handwaved Naomi. "That's what boys do."

"I don't know but I've been told,
Farbanti pussy's mighty cold!"

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Technically, when I'm meditating and focusing a freezing aura all over myself, 'it' does get cold... so it's the truth," Naomi replied, cracking her knuckles, smiling sweetly at Shamal. Jenkins. I'll kill you when Bruder isn't looking.

"I don't know but I've been told,
Mid-Childa pussy's mighty cold!"

"Ne, ne, Tea, what're they saying? What's the matter with you? Are you mad? I mean, I don't get how cats here can be cold..." asked Subaru, confused as to the rising anger and fury on Tea's face.

[Load Cartridge] chimed Cross Mirage helpfully.

"I don't know but I've been told,
Belka pussy's mighty cold!"

It was as if an electric shock rang through Hayate, Carim, Shach and the female Volkenritter, who all stiffened and turned with infinite slowness to face the Assault Platoon.

"It's...just...a... marching song..." began Fate nervously and valiantly, though her efforts were halted by the next line:

"I don't know but I've been told,
Enforcer pussy's mighty cold!"

"...On second thoughts, I'll join you guys."

"I don't know but I've been told,
Loli pussy's mighty cold!"

A double whammy, this time, for both Vita and Caro. Well, mostly Vita, who had been called a loli behind her back many times (and to her face once, by Franz, before she kicked his ass). Caro looked unsure, but had a hunch it was probably a bad thing... as Vita was visible manifesting an aura.

"Might wanna tone it down, LT!" called Sergeant Major Ivanovich, as he made out the figures in the distance. "Don't wanna get divine wrath on us!"

"Nah, we still gotta ways to go," called back Franz, grinning despite the exertion (and jealous of how Ivanovich never seemed to sweat). "Keep it up, Jenkins!"

It took all of Naomi's willpower not to squeak and hide behind Emili. She was fifteen, a Lance-Corporal, a trained and skilled mage, with three years of experience, and a combat veteran, not some little girl! But the look on Shamal's face...a look of cheerful, smiling retribution... the same look Shari-san had gotten looking over her Device Sparrow...

"Now, now, Fate-chan, Hayate-chan, they're just kidding," laughed Nanoha nervously. "There's no need for using your Jackets.... eh?" Looking around, practically every female except for her, Emili and Naomi was now in her Barrier Jacket, Device at the ready, cartridges loaded, ready to bring divine punishment to the enemies of women. "Now, we can settle this peacefully..."

The awful cadence died off in a chorus of "Left, right, left, right," and then "Pla-TOON...HALT!" and the Assault Platoon came to a stop. "Platoon, at ease!" ordered Franz, and cocked a quizzical glance at the assmebled angry women. "Is something wrong?" he asked curiously, oblivious to the total danger.

Emili and Naomi smacked their foreheads. "Baka," they muttered.

"NOW!" thundred Hayate, and the most intense magical barrage ever recorded by Riot Force 6 began in earnest.

* * * * *

Five minutes later, when the smoke and dust finally cleared, the only persons left standing werSergeant Major Ivanovich and the Master Chief. Chief's armor was pristine and spotless, only looking slightly wet, strangely. Ivanovich's Barrier Jacket's armor and outer layer were gone, revealing the mottled black and gray camoflage fatigue underlayer, and he looked at Franz, who lay groaning on the ground.

"Lieutenant, I TOLD you we should have toned it down."

"I know, you were right," groaned Franz, which managed to save Ivanovich and Chief from another magical barrage, as Nanoha and her compatriots realised that Franz was the man responsible for that deeply sexist cadence. "Am I dead yet?"

"Lieutenant Nailo and Lance-Corporal Jaeger are coming."

"Crap."

"FRANZ! HOW DARE YOU GET THE SERGEANT MAJOR IN TROUBLE! ON TOP OF BEING A PERVERT! MAKE YOUR PIECE WITH GOD!"

"BRUDER! YOU'RE NOT DYING BEFORE I GET A CRACK AT YOU!"

"Good luck, LT," said Ivanovich, patting him on the shoulder, and went to check on the rest of the Assault Platoon with Chief.

"Oh, Guinness, he'll chain me at a desk and do more paperwork. Unlimited Paper Works again?! I will never get laid at this point," groand Franz, thinking of his most hated skill and most hated job. "Damnit I've been paperwork's bitch for thirteen years, I should be getting laid by now, not stuck doing paperwork!"

"...Do you really deserve to get laid?" asked the Sergeant Major, out of a sense of morbid curiousity.

"Hell yeah."

"That's what you're thinking of? At a time like this?" demanded Emili, her increasing her running speed. "Show some remorse! Emili Kicku, GEAR SECOND!"

The tsuntsun Air Force mage blurred forward and kicked Franz into the air, her leg lashing out faster than the eye could track, landing innumerable hits on him before landing one final kick that sent him flying towards Naomi. Emili's apprentice leapt into the sky and performed a spin kick, one that connected solidly with Franz - who was less protected than normal, as his armor had been blown clear off.

"Ichigeki Hisatsu! Naomi kicku, CRITICAL HIT!"

The force of the kick caught him in the gut and caused him to cough up a bit of blood as he flew back towards Emili, who responded by employing Emili Kicku ~ Gear Second on his back; over a hundred kicks landed on him in the blink of an eye, sending him flying back towards Naomi, who delivered another of her kicks. Naomi didn't have cyborg legs like Emili, but she made up for that in accuracy, power on target, and by forming a shoe of ice around her boot; the hard ice giving more force to her kick as well as adding frost damage. The fact that the kick grazed his balls and slammed into his gut didn't hurt either.

Franz sailed through the air and landed in a heap in front of Shamal, bruised and injured, and looked up at the sweet, smiling cute blonde's face.

"Franz," she said, with all the sweetness in the world, "Do you deserve to be healed?"

"urrrghh..."

"I'll take that as a no," smiled Shamal sweetly, and proceeded to stomp on him. Hard.

* * * * *
Shamal was eventually persuaded to treat the rest of the Assault Platoon, except for Ivanovich, who to the consternation of all escaped unscratched, with not even any traces of being hit by magical damage or signs of damage for using Jacket Purge to detonate his Jacket's outer layer. Chief finally confessed that when the barrage had hit he'd jumped off into the water and had clung to the pier by his fingertips, which was how he'd avoided the Righteous Punishment. The much-awaited Nanoha/Franz rematch was postponed for a few days to let him heal (most of his damage was from the Chain Combo Emili and Naomi had subjected him to), to the annoyance of everyone who had shown up especially for the rematch.

At the end of the fiasco, when Franz was finally released from the infirmary, Glen's displeasure was made very clear.

"You. Desk. Unlimited Paper Works. Now. And I wonder how the hell you could pass OCS on your first try and do something as stupid as this. Does all that hot blood kill off your brain cells?"

"As much as UPW kills my love life."

"You don't DESERVE to have a love life. Finish that paperwork."

Oh man so funny! I was crying! I loved their reactions. BTW the video doesn't work. then again it could be my computer being stupid.

You have more than one fic?...I write so slowly I can't imagine having more than one at all, ever.

I got majorly sidetracked.... Technically it's only 2 since I have two in the same continuity as well as another that I've started on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satashi

A few of us juggle fics :3 except me. I'd never dream of doing more than one at a time

A key point to make though is that when the crack hits, it's hard to keep away from your new idea..

Quote:

Originally Posted by toran

Heh. I think I'm worse. I tend to get an idea, brainstorm a few ideas and get a general plot down, start writing, then story gets kicked out my mind by another plot bunny. Damn plot bunnies. *grabs a rifle*

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

Vivio+ Sword=Auto win

I was inspired by the above

Spoiler for The begining:

Vivio planted her feet, she prepared herself. Then she grabbed the handle of the sword and—“Ugu it’s heavy.”
“Don’t touch that!” the girl’s panicked babysitter dashed forward with the speed of a god, picked her up by the collar and carried her to the other side of the room. “Signum don’t leave things like that lying around!”
“You’re over reacting Zafira,” the swordswoman chuckled, “It’s good to get children started early.”
“She’s six!” he yelled as he halted Vivio attempt to return to Signum’s weapon.

And thus I bring a piece to the FF thread. entitled PT is lotsa fun...Right? (for best effect, imagine a sweatdrop at the end.)

Title: PT is Lotsa Fun...right?Rating: T+ (Rated for some... light profanity. On the other hand, there's a reason USMC running cadences are only taught to recruits 18 and older.)Summary: When the Order of Freelance Mages arrives for joint training with Riot Force 6, the Assault Platoon will know the heard way why Takamachi Nanoha is called the White Devil...Genre: Humor.

Spoiler for PT is lotsa fun...right?:

Chronological note: This takes place a short time after Nanoha teaches Teana that the way to go is to be a human CIWS.

Teana ignored her friend, focusing on keeping pace... secretly annoyed at the OFM Assault Platoon mages who were running in front of the Forwards. Her white t-shirt was getting wet with sweat, and she was starting to feel a burn in her legs from the five mile run. The fact that the ten mages had lapped her and Subaru several times hadn't helped her feelings... especially considering that unlike the Stars forwards, they were wearing Barrier Jackets, of a design bulkier and heavier than standard Barrier Jackets. How anyone could run that fast wearing body armor was an impossibility! Especially that giant of a man, who ran in a barrier jacket that looked more like metal powered armor, his boots thudding with louder sounds than his fellows.

And to add insult, they were singing. Throaty singing that was more like shouting, but still singing. And the oldest member of the 10-man "platoon", Sergeant Major Ivanovich, was perversely still running strong, despite being 50 and looking old and weathered, and he hadn't even broken a sweat.

Teana and Subaru reached their invisble finishing line and slowed to a stop, Teana bending over and supporting herself on her knees, catching her breath, as Erio and Caro finished their morning warm up and Nanoha arrived to begin basic training, with Fate, Vita and Signum in tow. Surprisingly, Carim was here today, as well as her aide Shach, and even Hayate had popped by to take a look on them.

Teana had a feeling that something big would be happening, but had no clue as to what.

* * * * *

"So, Emili-neechan, why are we heading to the training grounds again...?" said a teenaged girl with long brown hair, braided neatly.

"Glen wants us to keep an eye on Franz," said the purple-haired OFM Air Force XO to her apprentice and wingman. "You know how he's been itching for a rematch against Nanoha, right?"

"Oh, yeah," agreed Naomi Jaeger fervantly, the vigorous nodding of her head shaking up her brown hair. "I remember; from four years ago, right? That was when he was going on and on about hot blood and true spirit of men, and the time when Glen and Signum had their match. Oh. Crap."

Emili merely clenched her teeth at the 4-year-old memory and stared straight ahead, glaring daggers at the back of Signum's head, and Naomi breathed a quiet sigh of relief as they approached the small group, waving to Shamal and Zafira who popped by. "Doctor Shamal! Zafira!"

"It takes all kinds to make the people in the universe," laughed Shamal. "And I'm sure everyone is looking forward to Franz-kun's rematch with Nanoha-chan."

"Oh, yeah," agreed Emili. "That's why we're up here to keep an eye on him. I love that boy like a brother, but he's a walking disaster waiting to happen."

Shamal diplomatically refrained from commenting on the fact that Franz was much older than Emili and turned to where, in the distance, the black-armored forms of the Assault Platoon were running, approaching, their cadence call carried in front of them by the wind:

"I don't know but I've been told,
Sotoa pussy's mighty cold!"

"That's terrible," said Shamal. "It's not nice to mock a planet that nuked itself into a nuclear winter."

"They're just trying to hide from their fears by making fun of it," handwaved Naomi. "That's what boys do."

"I don't know but I've been told,
Farbanti pussy's mighty cold!"

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Technically, when I'm meditating and focusing a freezing aura all over myself, 'it' does get cold... so it's the truth," Naomi replied, cracking her knuckles, smiling sweetly at Shamal. Jenkins. I'll kill you when Bruder isn't looking.

"I don't know but I've been told,
Mid-Childa pussy's mighty cold!"

"Ne, ne, Tea, what're they saying? What's the matter with you? Are you mad? I mean, I don't get how cats here can be cold..." asked Subaru, confused as to the rising anger and fury on Tea's face.

[Load Cartridge] chimed Cross Mirage helpfully.

"I don't know but I've been told,
Belka pussy's mighty cold!"

It was as if an electric shock rang through Hayate, Carim, Shach and the female Volkenritter, who all stiffened and turned with infinite slowness to face the Assault Platoon.

"It's...just...a... marching song..." began Fate nervously and valiantly, though her efforts were halted by the next line:

"I don't know but I've been told,
Enforcer pussy's mighty cold!"

"...On second thoughts, I'll join you guys."

"I don't know but I've been told,
Loli pussy's mighty cold!"

A double whammy, this time, for both Vita and Caro. Well, mostly Vita, who had been called a loli behind her back many times (and to her face once, by Franz, before she kicked his ass). Caro looked unsure, but had a hunch it was probably a bad thing... as Vita was visible manifesting an aura.

"Might wanna tone it down, LT!" called Sergeant Major Ivanovich, as he made out the figures in the distance. "Don't wanna get divine wrath on us!"

"Nah, we still gotta ways to go," called back Franz, grinning despite the exertion (and jealous of how Ivanovich never seemed to sweat). "Keep it up, Jenkins!"

It took all of Naomi's willpower not to squeak and hide behind Emili. She was fifteen, a Lance-Corporal, a trained and skilled mage, with three years of experience, and a combat veteran, not some little girl! But the look on Shamal's face...a look of cheerful, smiling retribution... the same look Shari-san had gotten looking over her Device Sparrow...

"Now, now, Fate-chan, Hayate-chan, they're just kidding," laughed Nanoha nervously. "There's no need for using your Jackets.... eh?" Looking around, practically every female except for her, Emili and Naomi was now in her Barrier Jacket, Device at the ready, cartridges loaded, ready to bring divine punishment to the enemies of women. "Now, we can settle this peacefully..."

The awful cadence died off in a chorus of "Left, right, left, right," and then "Pla-TOON...HALT!" and the Assault Platoon came to a stop. "Platoon, at ease!" ordered Franz, and cocked a quizzical glance at the assmebled angry women. "Is something wrong?" he asked curiously, oblivious to the total danger.

Emili and Naomi smacked their foreheads. "Baka," they muttered.

"NOW!" thundred Hayate, and the most intense magical barrage ever recorded by Riot Force 6 began in earnest.

* * * * *

Five minutes later, when the smoke and dust finally cleared, the only persons left standing werSergeant Major Ivanovich and the Master Chief. Chief's armor was pristine and spotless, only looking slightly wet, strangely. Ivanovich's Barrier Jacket's armor and outer layer were gone, revealing the mottled black and gray camoflage fatigue underlayer, and he looked at Franz, who lay groaning on the ground.

"Lieutenant, I TOLD you we should have toned it down."

"I know, you were right," groaned Franz, which managed to save Ivanovich and Chief from another magical barrage, as Nanoha and her compatriots realised that Franz was the man responsible for that deeply sexist cadence. "Am I dead yet?"

"Lieutenant Nailo and Lance-Corporal Jaeger are coming."

"Crap."

"FRANZ! HOW DARE YOU GET THE SERGEANT MAJOR IN TROUBLE! ON TOP OF BEING A PERVERT! MAKE YOUR PIECE WITH GOD!"

"BRUDER! YOU'RE NOT DYING BEFORE I GET A CRACK AT YOU!"

"Good luck, LT," said Ivanovich, patting him on the shoulder, and went to check on the rest of the Assault Platoon with Chief.

"Oh, Guinness, he'll chain me at a desk and do more paperwork. Unlimited Paper Works again?! I will never get laid at this point," groand Franz, thinking of his most hated skill and most hated job. "Damnit I've been paperwork's bitch for thirteen years, I should be getting laid by now, not stuck doing paperwork!"

"...Do you really deserve to get laid?" asked the Sergeant Major, out of a sense of morbid curiousity.

"Hell yeah."

"That's what you're thinking of? At a time like this?" demanded Emili, her increasing her running speed. "Show some remorse! Emili Kicku, GEAR SECOND!"

The tsuntsun Air Force mage blurred forward and kicked Franz into the air, her leg lashing out faster than the eye could track, landing innumerable hits on him before landing one final kick that sent him flying towards Naomi. Emili's apprentice leapt into the sky and performed a spin kick, one that connected solidly with Franz - who was less protected than normal, as his armor had been blown clear off.

"Ichigeki Hisatsu! Naomi kicku, CRITICAL HIT!"

The force of the kick caught him in the gut and caused him to cough up a bit of blood as he flew back towards Emili, who responded by employing Emili Kicku ~ Gear Second on his back; over a hundred kicks landed on him in the blink of an eye, sending him flying back towards Naomi, who delivered another of her kicks. Naomi didn't have cyborg legs like Emili, but she made up for that in accuracy, power on target, and by forming a shoe of ice around her boot; the hard ice giving more force to her kick as well as adding frost damage. The fact that the kick grazed his balls and slammed into his gut didn't hurt either.

Franz sailed through the air and landed in a heap in front of Shamal, bruised and injured, and looked up at the sweet, smiling cute blonde's face.

"Franz," she said, with all the sweetness in the world, "Do you deserve to be healed?"

"urrrghh..."

"I'll take that as a no," smiled Shamal sweetly, and proceeded to stomp on him. Hard.

* * * * *
Shamal was eventually persuaded to treat the rest of the Assault Platoon, except for Chief, who was unscathed, and Ivanovich, who to the consternation of all escaped unscratched, with not even any traces of being hit by magical damage or signs of damage for using Jacket Purge to detonate his Jacket's outer layer. The much-awaited Nanoha/Franz rematch was postponed for a few days to let him heal (most of his damage was from the Chain Combo Emili and Naomi had subjected him to), to the annoyance of everyone who had shown up especially for the rematch.

At the end of the fiasco, when Franz was finally released from the infirmary, Glen's displeasure was made very clear.

"You. Desk. Unlimited Paper Works. Now. And I wonder how the hell you could pass OCS on your first try and do something as stupid as this. Does all that hot blood kill off your brain cells?"

"As much as UPW kills my love life."

"You don't DESERVE to have a love life. Finish that paperwork."

The EPIC CADENCE in the youtube is "Fired Up, Feels Good" as it appears in The Unit (the extended version). It was the first version of Fired Up I could find... and well, it's pretty good. It's where I got the lyrics for the first cadence.

The second cadence... I think this cadence must be one of the more infamous ones.... The original line, as immortalised by Full Metal Jacket, originally went "I don't know but I've been told, Eskimo pussy's mighty cold!"

What was the real point of this? Just an excericise in writing Epic Lulz, really, taking a break from my normal more serious stuff.

Franz's Epic Failure, Part XXX...

Is absolute WIN. No matter how many times I read it, it's still funny, but I sort of feel sorry for Franz, having to take revenge in such a low and kill-able fashion. Really sad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liingo

Gonzo Deaths??

Gonzo Deaths:

Deaths that occur in characters for shreds of or no reason or realism whatsoever, and that look suspiciously overcast with the clouds of witless plot settings, not to mention lack of creative spirit.

It doesn't matter Kha will drag your Vivio and place her into Rebuilt so that she can legitimately be Saber's daughter and inherit Excalibur

And he will find you. He can find us all because......

The Power of Khrack Compels you!
The Power of Khrack Compels you!
The Power of Khrack Compels you!
The Power of Khrack Compels you!
The Power of Khrack Compels you!
The Power of Khrack Compels you!
The Power of Khrack Compels you!

Ahh, if that's the case then proceed Will Cortana appear too? If so then you MUST name it Joyeuse

I RESIST! :angry:

Arc-en-Ciel is different from Rebuilt! Rebuilt doesn't have Varista in it Since I made it up (Though the name, coicendentially, is a gun in PSU...)

Cortana? Thats a sword! The Durandal, Joyeuse, and Cortana are a trio of swords made of the same metal

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kha

Keikaku Doori...

Noooooo stay away from me you monster! :angry:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kagerou

We already have a Cortana, though.
She started as an Armed Device, gained sentience... and well, Master Chief now resides in the OC, so do the math.

EDIT: Page claim in the name of Kyonko!

But I don't have to do math until Friday on my final...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liingo

Kriss that oneshot was good

People liked it that much?
I didn't think anyone would Hmmm maybe I should make another... Longer though and more detailed... *Scratches chin*

Crack inspires Crack.
NSFW, adult language,The Order of Freelance Mage's aren't my characters and used without permission for crack purposes.

Spoiler for Tag-team! *high five's Goosey*:

"Amazing," The Freelance Mage breathed out while scarfing down the food in front of him. His friends were lined up along the long straight table in the middle of Section Six's cafeteria. "This is real food! None of that slop we have at our base."

"Because," The man to his left talked with his mouth full. "They probably cooked a better meal than normal because we are visiing their base. Good relations you know."

"Speaking of relations," The first spoke up again. "Did you see Takamachi Nanoha?"

"The babe with the pigtails and barrier jacket?" Another piped up. "God she's hot!"

"I wouldn't mind a piece of that," Another pitched in. "I'd show her a few new moves, if you know what I mean."

Nanoha paused her walk behind the table, stopping to look at the group facing away from her. Hands trembled in annoyance around the lunch tray she held. Beside her the leader of the group paused as well, stopping his talk with his long time friend.

"I know what you mean," One of the men picked up. "Hike that skirt up and Mmph! Mmph!" he slapped his hand across his front as if spanking someone.

"Grab those pigtails and yank back, show her who's in charge!"

"Get a piece of that tight little pus-"

"Ah-HEM!" Nanoha cleared her throat loudly, making all the men turn around and freeze in shock. "Hello," Her eyebrow twitched. "You wanted a piece of what, now?"

The chief walking next to Nanoha and came to the aid of his team. " Nanoha, my men wern't talking about a piece of ass from you, were you men?" All of his team quickly smiled and shook their heads. "They meant a piece of action!" He nodded to himself. "That's my men alright! wanting to challenge the best of the best!" Now his crew suddenly looked terrified. "What say you Nanoha, would you give my men a chance to piece some action against you in a mock battle?"

"Why certainly," Nanoha's famous befriending smile came to her face. "I'd be honored."

Two hours later Nanoha was running with her team around the training field, ignoring the smoking charred bodies of men groaning in pain and agony laying in the middle. "So let it be known by all!" Nanoha perked up her team by singing a marching song out, getting it repeated behind her happily from the Stars and Lightning members. "The Order of Freelance Mage's dicks are mighty small!"

Crack inspires Crack.
NSFW, adult language,The Order of Freelance Mage's aren't my characters and used without permission for crack purposes.

Spoiler for Tag-team! *high five's Goosey*:

"Amazing," The Freelance Mage breathed out while scarfing down the food in front of him. His friends were lined up along the long straight table in the middle of Section Six's cafeteria. "This is real food! None of that slop we have at our base."

"Because," The man to his left talked with his mouth full. "They probably cooked a better meal than normal because we are visiing their base. Good relations you know."

"Speaking of relations," The first spoke up again. "Did you see Takamachi Nanoha?"

"The babe with the pigtails and barrier jacket?" Another piped up. "God she's hot!"

"I wouldn't mind a piece of that," Another pitched in. "I'd show her a few new moves, if you know what I mean."

Nanoha paused her walk behind the table, stopping to look at the group facing away from her. Hands trembled in annoyance around the lunch tray she held. Beside her the leader of the group paused as well, stopping his talk with his long time friend.

"I know what you mean," One of the men picked up. "Hike that skirt up and Mmph! Mmph!" he slapped his hand across his front as if spanking someone.

"Grab those pigtails and yank back, show her who's in charge!"

"Get a piece of that tight little pus-"

"Ah-HEM!" Nanoha cleared her throat loudly, making all the men turn around and freeze in shock. "Hello," Her eyebrow twitched. "You wanted a piece of what, now?"

The chief walking next to Nanoha and came to the aid of his team. " Nanoha, my men wern't talking about a piece of ass from you, were you men?" All of his team quickly smiled and shook their heads. "They meant a piece of action!" He nodded to himself. "That's my men alright! wanting to challenge the best of the best!" Now his crew suddenly looked terrified. "What say you Nanoha, would you give my men a chance to piece some action against you in a mock battle?"

"Why certainly," Nanoha's famous befriending smile came to her face. "I'd be honored."

Two hours later Nanoha was running with her team around the training field, ignoring the smoking charred bodies of men groaning in pain and agony laying in the middle. "So let it be known by all!" Nanoha perked up her team by singing a marching song out, getting it repeated behind her happily from the Stars and Lightning members. "The Order of Freelance Mage's dicks are mighty small!"

So it's not enough to beat them near death, you have to run around them in circles and insult them as well?
Not exactly what i'd call fair play...

__________________

"Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules." Unknown
"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." Norman Schwarzkopf
"Whoever stands by a just cause cannot possibly be called a terrorist." Yassar Arafat
Sayings and quotes hold wisdom in them. Either the wisdom is found in the correctness of the quote, or in the lesson learned from the error.
Hard part is figuring out who's making the errors...

Crack inspires Crack.
NSFW, adult language,The Order of Freelance Mage's aren't my characters and used without permission for crack purposes.

Spoiler for Tag-team! *high five's Goosey*:

"Amazing," The Freelance Mage breathed out while scarfing down the food in front of him. His friends were lined up along the long straight table in the middle of Section Six's cafeteria. "This is real food! None of that slop we have at our base."

"Because," The man to his left talked with his mouth full. "They probably cooked a better meal than normal because we are visiing their base. Good relations you know."

"Speaking of relations," The first spoke up again. "Did you see Takamachi Nanoha?"

"The babe with the pigtails and barrier jacket?" Another piped up. "God she's hot!"

"I wouldn't mind a piece of that," Another pitched in. "I'd show her a few new moves, if you know what I mean."

Nanoha paused her walk behind the table, stopping to look at the group facing away from her. Hands trembled in annoyance around the lunch tray she held. Beside her the leader of the group paused as well, stopping his talk with his long time friend.

"I know what you mean," One of the men picked up. "Hike that skirt up and Mmph! Mmph!" he slapped his hand across his front as if spanking someone.

"Grab those pigtails and yank back, show her who's in charge!"

"Get a piece of that tight little pus-"

"Ah-HEM!" Nanoha cleared her throat loudly, making all the men turn around and freeze in shock. "Hello," Her eyebrow twitched. "You wanted a piece of what, now?"

The chief walking next to Nanoha and came to the aid of his team. " Nanoha, my men wern't talking about a piece of ass from you, were you men?" All of his team quickly smiled and shook their heads. "They meant a piece of action!" He nodded to himself. "That's my men alright! wanting to challenge the best of the best!" Now his crew suddenly looked terrified. "What say you Nanoha, would you give my men a chance to piece some action against you in a mock battle?"

"Why certainly," Nanoha's famous befriending smile came to her face. "I'd be honored."

Two hours later Nanoha was running with her team around the training field, ignoring the smoking charred bodies of men groaning in pain and agony laying in the middle. "So let it be known by all!" Nanoha perked up her team by singing a marching song out, getting it repeated behind her happily from the Stars and Lightning members. "The Order of Freelance Mage's dicks are mighty small!"

What's the lesson of today kids? Never piss of a mage with the power of blast you to pices

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpaceBrotha

So it's not enough to beat them near death, you have to run around them in circles and insult them as well?
Not exactly what i'd call fair play...