July 24th, 1967: French President De Gaulle calls for Quebec to surrender, await for international help for liberation

MONTREAL – Speaking from his personal experience, French President Charles De Gaulle has inspired Quebecers to liberate themselves by surrendering and awaiting for a massive Allied force to free their country from the tyranny of Canadian democracy.

“Surrender and then be liberated by someone else!” he shouted from the balcony the balcony of Montreal’s City Hall to an admiring crowd. “If there’s one thing I know about liberation, someone else will do it for you even if you’re a complete prick.”

De Gaulle declared that an international force from the United States, Britain, Canada, along with several other countries will inevitably spill their own blood to emancipate the oppressed Quebecois who could only vote at the federal, provincial, and municipal levels.

Reflecting on his wartime past, the leader who bravely eluded his capture from the Germans with British support told Quebecers that a humiliating surrender is the only way to attract enough sympathy.

De Gaulle ended his address by yelling “fuck you, anglo-saxons!” before raising his two middle fingers in the air.