There comes a time in your life when you realize that you are a fairly mediocre human being. You can try to rectify some aspects of the situation—exercise or whatever—but there is little you can actually do to outrun your own unremarkableness. (You can’t outrun it because you’re out of shape.)

At some point in your life you will be asked to order pizza for a group. When that time comes, don’t be afraid. All the information you need to determine how many pies to order can be found in the pizza itself. Because what is a pizza if not a tool for learning fractions?