Tobin_Lam:I always walk down the next aisle over, taking my time, and then I cut through the parked cars to my car on the other side. One guy was so desperate to get my spot that he actually offered to drive me to my car. I should have taken him up on the offer and when I sat down screamed,"GET OUT OF MY farkING CAR! Thanks for the ride, biatch." as I drove off in his car.

This is my favorite game during Christmas season at the mall here. Upon leaving and seeing a full parking lot, I'll start down one isle and try to draw in a tail, then cut over 1-2 rows to where my car is actually parked.

Mark Ratner:I ride a bike and park it at the bike rack way up front, under the cover of the overhang roof. It's pretty sweet not having to walk 80 ft in the rain because I had to park my gas guzzling SUV.

At the college where I work, most of the parking lots are set up as one-way snake-around style deals, meaning that if (for example) you stop your car smack in the farking middle of the lane, waiting on a car you think MIGHT be the one some pedestrian is headed for, you start accumulating every moving car in the whole lot behind you.

I've seen it get as high as eight cars, all patiently waiting for the dumbass at the head of the line to decide that it's been long enough and move on. In some cases, I've seen people stake out a car in a good spot for no apparent reason other than that, if the owner were to move the car just then, it'd be a sweet parking spot. In more sensible places I've lived, like Boston or Philadelphia, your car would be on fire before the line got to four.

And yes, if I see you stalking me at 2 mph, I will walk right past my car, to the end of the lot if possible, while doing an Oscar-worthy performance in the role of "Man Who Is Perpetually One Aisle Away From His Car." Because you deserve much worse.

starsrift:I remember when I was in university, I loved farking with the twits who did this.

Especially when I was walking or cycling home.

If some douchebag follows me to my car, I always get into my car for a second, then get out acting like I forgot something and head back to the store. What I especially love is seeing them speed off all angrily and seeing someone right behind them also looking for a space. I'll wave them in.

There are lots of types of assholes in the world, but people who follow me to my car are pretty high on the list.

Rufus Lee King:This reminds me: I always park at the back of the lot, away from all the nuts. Every time I come back out, someone is always parked three inches off my door handle, with dozens of other empty spaces around. Can anyone explain this?

When I used to own a 20 year old beat up dodge pickup and id see Porsches or ferraris parked way in back 50 spots from anything I'd park right next to them, as close as possible while still being in the lines, and carefully get out :) it's called trolling.

If youre one of those farkwads that parks your Mercedes across 3 spots when the rest of the lot is full, it could be called "keying". But I can neither confirm not deny that nomenclature.

The parking lot at my university would fill up early in the morning. One morning I was running late and got there and was driving around the lot will all the other late comers with the small hope a space would appear. I was following behind one car around a corner when I saw a spot. The car in front of me slowed down a put their indicator on to go into it, started to turn, the decided to drive past it. As I got closer to it I saw that the person who parked next to it had double parked. Since I was driving a small piece of shiat car that I didn't care about, I thought, fark it, I can fit.So took my time and eased into the spot, trying to give myself enough room. To get out on the drivers side. Success. I parked with just enough space to get out, with about an inch of spac between my car and the drivers side of the car that was double parked.I got out to see a parking inspector shaking his head and smiling at me, while printing out a fine for the double parked car. He said he wasn't sure what was going to piss that driver off more, the ticket he was going to give them or my parking effort.

When I returned to my car to go home, I found a passage agressive note on my windshield saying "Why don't you park a little closer next time"

My grandfather told me when he was younger that he would walk across the parking lot and wait for someone to follow him, then cut across three or four aisles..bait the driver, and then start feeling his pockets like he left his keys inside.

Mark Ratner:I ride a bike and park it at the bike rack way up front, under the cover of the overhang roof. It's pretty sweet not having to walk 80 ft in the rain because I had to park my gas guzzling SUV.

StoPPeRmobile:Treygreen13: I never, ever, ever wait for a parking spot. There is almost always a spot further away. I don't care if I have to walk a mile to park. I've never had to park so far away that it wasn't faster than waiting for a parking spot like a moron.

This!

They are always fatties.

Stop being fat!

Idiots will circle the lot at the gym waiting for a spot when 30 yards away is an acre of empty spots.Same idiots will proceed to the treadmill for 45 minute workout.

Rufus Lee King:This reminds me: I always park at the back of the lot, away from all the nuts. Every time I come back out, someone is always parked three inches off my door handle, with dozens of other empty spaces around. Can anyone explain this?

Rufus Lee King:This reminds me: I always park at the back of the lot, away from all the nuts. Every time I come back out, someone is always parked three inches off my door handle, with dozens of other empty spaces around. Can anyone explain this?

I'm sure it is just your imagination not some devious plot to slowly drive you insane.

TinyFist:Wasn't me. I usually park towards the back of the lot and walk because there's nothing worse than being stuck behind someone willing to wait 5 minutes for a car to move than to walk the extra 40 feet.

I troll people in parking lots. The last time I went to Dave & Busters Orlando I had this guy in a landboat following me after I left with one of my friends, just waiting for me to get into my car so I could give up prime real-estate. I've always hated seeing people wait for minutes at a time just to park a few feet closer. I threw the guy off by walking on one side of the lot, then switching to the other side. When he figured out that I had finally "found" my car, he floored it through the lot just to sit and wait for me to pull out. My friend and I just sat in the car and messed with our phones for 10 minutes while this guy blocked up traffic waiting to get into my spot.

In 15 minutes, he could've already been inside D&B if he didn't feel like walking was a monumental challenge.

When I'm walking through a crowded parking lot like that I always take my keys out and hold them conspicuously in my hand. Love the look on someones face after they creep behind me in their car only to see me pocket my keys and walk into the store.

kgloverfl:Wow, most of you are more idiotic than usual today. How about reading the article? It's not about someone waiting for a parking space, it's about this dipshart woman jawjacking on her phone and not realizing she cut off some guy who the followed her into the parking lot to ask her WTF? She mouthed off to him, then walked in front of his car, flipping him the bird and when he yelled back, her feeble mind was so confused, that she tripped, swallowed her gum, screwed up her text and landed on his hood. That's when the poor guy realized that he was screwed because this dumb bimbo showed all the signs of crazy, so he hauled ass.The End.

You should turn yourself in to police. They are going to catch you eventually.

I've actually never seen any parking space stalkers here, not the kind that follow you around as you're walking back to your car. Most people here just seem to endlessly circle the lot until someone leaves, so they can get that spot 20 feet closer.

I did sort of have some parking lot rage directed at me recently, though, from a cop. I walked to a doctor's office for an appointment on a nice sunny day, and while I was in there, the neighborhood apparently begin to set up for a high school sports tournament that was coming to the arena across the street. When I came out of the appointment, there were cops everywhere, making sure people parked in the pay lots if they were going to be attending the tournament, and not the lots for other businesses. As I walked through the parking lot and left the premises, a fat slob of a cop sitting in her car turned on her siren and yelled out the window, "Stop right there, sir!" I didn't figure she could be talking to me, so I kept walking. She began screaming some more, so I turned around and she asked, "Are you going to the tournament?" I said I wasn't, and she said "Uh huh. I think you are. If you're parked here for the tournament, we'll tow your car." I told her I wasn't parked anywhere and that I was headed home. She replied, "Well, I saw what car you came from. I'm calling in to get it towed." I said, "Fine, tow my car," and walked on. I wonder if they towed anyone's car.

Wow, most of you are more idiotic than usual today. How about reading the article? It's not about someone waiting for a parking space, it's about this dipshart woman jawjacking on her phone and not realizing she cut off some guy who the followed her into the parking lot to ask her WTF? She mouthed off to him, then walked in front of his car, flipping him the bird and when he yelled back, her feeble mind was so confused, that she tripped, swallowed her gum, screwed up her text and landed on his hood. That's when the poor guy realized that he was screwed because this dumb bimbo showed all the signs of crazy, so he hauled ass.The End.

Rufus Lee King:This reminds me: I always park at the back of the lot, away from all the nuts. Every time I come back out, someone is always parked three inches off my door handle, with dozens of other empty spaces around. Can anyone explain this?

I always do this when A-holes park their expensive cars sideways across two spaces. I just park sideways next to them real close like with my piece of shiat car.

At the local now-dead mall, one Christmastide, I made runs back and forth to the car while shopping. One lady followed me, ready to turn into my what-she-thought 'empty spot'. When I closed the trunk and headed back to the mall, she let me know she was extremely unhappy in very colorful metaphors.

I'm a bit of a dick, and one of my favorite things to do at the mall when it's crowded is to let some idiot follow me in his car as I walk back to mine, hoping to get my space. I'll intentionally walk 2 rows over from where my car is, go far past where I've parked, and then cut over and start walking back up towards my car.

Rufus Lee King:This reminds me: I always park at the back of the lot, away from all the nuts. Every time I come back out, someone is always parked three inches off my door handle, with dozens of other empty spaces around. Can anyone explain this?

I drive a nice car that doesn't wear scratches well, so I tend to park in the back as well. Its very normal to come out and see a bunch of other nice cars parked next to mine. I assume its just a subconscious mentality that they assume other people being careful with nice cars will automatically be courteous enough to not scratch their car in return, so they huddle next to you in some sort of pack defense instinct.

Granted, this includes moronic 16 year olds with riced out honda's sometimes, but in their mind that shiats beyond awesome so they're on the same page really.