Royal Calkins: A fight-to-the-death election

Thank goodness for the undecideds, for without them there might be agreement that the world as we know it will come to an end, one way or the other, on Tuesday, or on Inauguration Day at the very latest.

Four years ago, Americans went to the polls to pick their preferred candidate, either John McCain or Barack Obama or to wave the flags of their third- or fourth- or fifth-party favorites.

This year, Americans will be playing defense as they go to the polls to stop either Mitt Romney or Barack Obama from ruining this country and everything it stands for. If there was any other way to block the looming calamity — a restraining order, perhaps, or a lawsuit, a mass sit-in—organizers of the "Stop Mitt!" and "Stop Barack!" movements would not have to pass the signup sheet around twice.

Polarized? Try paralyzed.

What began as a presidential campaign has turned into a crusade, a battle to the death between good and evil or, in other words, a battle to the death between good and evil.

We have heard some of this during previous campaigns. If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada. If Kerry wins, I'm building a bomb shelter. But there was only a smattering of that and it came mostly from the people most heavily invested in politics. This year, the guy next door says he'll never speak to you again if you cancel out his vote. This year, people plant a campaign sign in the front yard in hopes of catching a sign stealer. This year, everyone's talking about moving to Canada.

When The Herald endorsed Obama last week, I knew we'd get some calls. Folks would call us blankety-blank liberals. Or so I thought. I was different this time. They called us "stupid" and "blind" and "shameful."

"If you read your own damn newspaper you'd know that Obama wants to ruin this country! That's his No. 1 priority and if you don't see it, you're an idiot." So said a fellow who left a message that went downhill from there.

The point here isn't to complain about irritated callers. Comes with the territory. The point is that people are riled up way more so than usual. It seems to me that they're angry, and afraid.

A large measure of Romney supporters truly believe that Obama wants to impose a Godless, socialist society and nationalize our retirement accounts.

A large measure of Obama supporters truly believe that Romney wants to make the fat cats fatter no matter how much it hurts everyone else.

The fact of the matter is that even if they really wanted to ruin this country in either of those fashions, it ain't gonna happen.

That stuff they taught you in high school about the three branches and checks and balances wasn't just happy talk. The president can't just do whatever he wants, no matter how unprincipled the Supreme Court may be at the moment. Our system of government is designed to protect us against despots and autocrats. It has proven effective in protecting the minority from the majority and the majority from the minority.

One of our government's biggest problems is its sheer mass, its plodding nature, but that is also one of its strengths. If Obama really wants to mothball the fleet and make Allah our defense minister, he'd better hurry. As the last four years have shown us, this country's not receptive to rapid change.

If Romney really wants to grind the last dollars out of the middle class, he'd better start by changing the freedom of information laws because every move is going to be watched closely by some very astute observers.

Unfortunately for those who want and expect the next president to fix the economy, put people back to work and lower gas prices, the president heads a political system, not the economic system. That also means that the worst tyrant cannot overturn the law of supply and demand.

The liberals of this nation survived Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan. The conservatives survived Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton. No one got everything they wanted but relatively few American lives were fully ruined by the occupant of the Oval Office. So chill out. Roughly half of all Americans will be upset by the election results Tuesday, but they should remember that they've got something to look forward to. They get to spend the next four years grousing about the bum running the country.