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LO seems to be giving up BF???

Hi Mammas
Since Monday, our 11 mo has refused day time breastfeeding and from the info I read on kellymom.com it could be a nursing strike as it's been quite sudden. But then again, when I think about it, his daytime BF's have seemed more like comforting sucking and it was mainly me that offered it, not LO requesting it.

He's happy otherwise, infact the last couple of days he's been laughing and smiling more than ever.

Our LO was exclusively BF'd until 6 months and then we introduced solids. He is now taking in 2 main meals a day plus morning&/afternoon snack.

Before Monday he would normal have a BF on waking, 10.30am naptime, 3pm naptime & then before bed. (I did try about a month ago to remove morning BF but we started back up again). He BF's during the night about 2-3 times. Again, it's me offereing (as I am tired and lazy and don't want to get out of bed) and I could probably rock him back to sleep each time without a feed as he isn't that interested, mainly sucks and then rolls over.

I was "shocked" last night as to how I felt about this sudden change....I was sad and confused and emotional about it all ...even though my bf'ing goal was to make it to around 12 months and then wean.

My practical side thought this could be a good opportunity to wean anyway if that's what LO is wanting and I read an article on kellymom that some women choose a nursing strike to wean.

So, my question (after all that!!) is do I need to replace breastmilk with another sort of milk? and if so what do I choose as he's so close to 12months but still <1yr. I have concerns as my family has a history of allergies, including milk and LO is showing signs of this also eg <6mths BF'ing he wasn't happy if I consumed dairy and now I have realised wheat is impacting him.

Last edited by @llli*designerfish; August 24th, 2011 at 03:34 AM.

Maria,
Wife to Cristiano
Mamma to Giacomo 21 September 2010 and Elia 8 July 2014
Living the "vita dolce" in Tuscany, Italy.

Re: LO seems to be giving up BF???

At 11 months old, if you choose to wean you should replace nursing with either formula (until 12 months) or, less ideally, with whole goat's/cow's milk. (USA pediatricians' recommendation is to delay cow's milk until 12 months, Europeans say you can safely introduce cow's or goat's milk at around 9-10 months.) And remember, your LO will need to have his fat and calcium needs met as a toddler, too, so you will need to continue to either offer whole milk dairy products (yogurt, cheese, milk, etc.) or find some combination of non-dairy solids that offers the same nutritional benefits. Which is why I would urge you to continue to nurse: it is so much easier to meet a kid's nutritional needs when nursing than to try to get them to eat the right balance of dairy and solids!

Is there anything in particular about nursing that is getting you down? Obviously not all moms want to nurse toddlers, but sometimes toddler nursing is really worth it, and it can be a lot easier to nurse a toddler than a lot of moms expect. I'd love to sell you on the benefits... If you're interested, that is.

Re: LO seems to be giving up BF???

Thank you for replying and giving the lowdown on the options. I will only go down this path if this is LO's decision.

Originally Posted by @llli*mommal

Is there anything in particular about nursing that is getting you down?

Purely personal the idea of nursing a toddler doesn't fit with me. Funny because I encourage my good friend to keep BFing her 15 month old that still won't take solids when everyone around us tells her to stop BFing Second, we want to try and have another baby next year and I didn't want to be pregnant and bfing at the same time. All purely selfish things

Originally I thought I would only do 6 months and NEVER expected to get this far! When I look over the last 6 months it has been a truly wonderful experience and allthough at times LO did some "crazy" things during the feeds there isn't anything that I don't like about it at all.

But, I also want to respect our LO's decision if that's what he wants to do. Again all day he hasn't wanted to nurse since he woke up, this is day 3. If I continue to offer and he doesn't want it then what do I do???? Even at night he's really not that interested....yes it's all seems very sudden....and I wasn't quite prepared for it

yes...I sound completely confused here emotionally but I do want to continue my objective of making it to/close to 1 yr bf'ing and then wean over time even if this means if it's LO driving it...which seems to be the case.

Maria,
Wife to Cristiano
Mamma to Giacomo 21 September 2010 and Elia 8 July 2014
Living the "vita dolce" in Tuscany, Italy.

Re: LO seems to be giving up BF???

I was thinking about it all while in the shower just now and I am concerned about the suddeness of it all.

I would hate for it to be strike and then LO wants to BF again and I have no supply at all. I don't own a pump and was never successful at hand pumping.

How do I know if it's a nursing strike or if LO really is weaning?

I always nurse LO for naps/sleep and since Monday all he wants is to be rocked to sleep. Which for us is a very big change in his habit.

How long do I wait before introducing formula?
LO has never liked water much but yesterday I offered him water in the morning and he gulped it down....every other time we offered him water yesterday and today, the same thing. Again, we are surprised at this sudden change in behaviour. It's really hot here but I would have expected LO to nurse more not less. Today he even indicated to the cup at lunch time for water.

While LO's BF'ing during the day was regular eg wake up, morning nap, afternoon nap & bedtime, if he ever wanted a feed I would always give it to him. He usually pulls at my shirt but since Monday he hasn't done this at all.

Night times he wakes every 2 hrs and I would nurse him nearly every time he woke up from 11pm. Last night it was a little less and with less interest.

My ever supportive hubby and I just spoke about it again and I will offer him BF during the night as normal and keep him close to us.

Just one last thought...over the weekend when I was bf'ing him during the day he started to bob his head up and down on my breast as if the milk wasn't coming out on it's own....any thoughts on this???? (maybe this post should have been in the breast feeding section instead of weaning).

Maria,
Wife to Cristiano
Mamma to Giacomo 21 September 2010 and Elia 8 July 2014
Living the "vita dolce" in Tuscany, Italy.

Re: LO seems to be giving up BF???

It's pretty common for babies around eleven months to be VERY busy and VERY distractible and refuse to nurse if there is anything more interesting going on. Some moms have better luck getting the baby to nurse in a dark, quiet room where nothing is going on, but at that age, even that can be difficult! It's a developmental thing. Most (although not all, obviously) babies become more attentive and interested in nursing around the year mark.

If you're nursing at night right now, you might not need to supplement (beyond water) during the day. The usual guideline is if you're nursing at least four times a day (and your baby eats solids), you probably don't need to give milk. Foods like yogurt and cheese during the day can also give a little extra calcium, etc.

I only planned to nurse until a year (well, for a while, I wasn't sure I'd make it that long!), but here I am. When a year came, I just wasn't ready to wean and neither was my baby. Even if you don't plan to nurse through a pregnancy, keep in mind that many/most women lose their supply while pregnant, and many children wean themselves around that time, so you could take a "wait and see" approach and enjoy nursing until you actually get pregnant. No pressure though.

You can call me JoMo!

Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

Re: LO seems to be giving up BF???

All the advice sounds great, was just thinking though when my LO refused daytime feeds out of nowhere/striking (it was over a weekend) and she would only BF at night but seemed ok during the day it turned out she had an ear infection that was apparently causing pain and causing her to strike. She never had a fever. After the first day of abx she resumed regular nursing. Just a thought, but of course trust your instincts!

Re: LO seems to be giving up BF???

thanks for all the advice mammas.

Day time nursing sessions are always done in a dim lit room (yep....I have a highly distractible baby!!!)

Christine, I was wondering about the ear infection as the last few days he's been putting his hands over his head and then patting his head...no fever either so it's a good point you mentioned. I would have expected a fever. Just in case we are going to try and get to our dr today to at least rule this out.

Ok, so I am a little more "relaxed" about the milk topic now (thanks JoMo) as last night LO nursed about 6 times including the morning feed. He woke every 2 hrs (which is the norm on a bad night for us). He gets cheese & yoghurt throughout the day in his meals & broccoli (his latest thing).

Between the frequent wakings last night and staying awake about what's been going on the last few days I need off for our morning walk....

Maria,
Wife to Cristiano
Mamma to Giacomo 21 September 2010 and Elia 8 July 2014
Living the "vita dolce" in Tuscany, Italy.

Re: LO seems to be giving up BF???

I think you are DEFINITELY looking at a strike. A child this young doesn't choose to wean. And they often have no idea WHY they are striking. So the best thing you can to support them is continue to offer when they are away with NO PRESSURE AND feed them when they are falling asleep, are asleep or are waking up. If your child is still taking at least 2 naps a day and waking at least one a night to feed or "Dream feed" that is up and down for naps and evening. Plus perhaps 1st thing in the morning. That is 4-6 sessions a day. That is all Sleep feeding even if no breast is ever taken consciously. And that Mama would be enough feedings in a 24hour period NOT to have to supplement. Keep at it!

Re: LO seems to be giving up BF???

Thanks for all the support mamma's!

LO seems to be getting back on track in the last 24hrs. Yesterday afternoon he woke from his nap and requested breastmilk which hadn't happened for several days and last night he also took a feed before going to sleep.

Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom

That is all Sleep feeding even if no breast is ever taken consciously.!

Most of LO's feeds are sleep feeds...he is normally a 24 hr feeder...the "bar" never closers for this one!!!!

Maria,
Wife to Cristiano
Mamma to Giacomo 21 September 2010 and Elia 8 July 2014
Living the "vita dolce" in Tuscany, Italy.