white people

Since Beyoncé dropped her newest single, 'Formation', people have been engaged in debate. A lot of people have been complaining that Beyoncé's references to Black history and culture in her song, video and Super Bowl halftime show didn't belong in such a 'family friendly' broadcast like Super Bowl 50. Supporters of the song have pointed out that Beyoncé is, in fact, Black. As this Saturday Night Live sketch points out, it's not really that shocking that a Black woman would make reference to who she is and her heritage in her music. It's actually pretty silly to make such a big deal about it.

For reference, you can watch the 'Formation' video to see what all the fuss is about:

All you white people who live in Brooklyn, now you know whom to thank.

This enraged guy was filmed straight up screaming and threatening the lives of a couple who pushed their stroller into him while he was out for a run. In the middle of his anti-yuppie rant, he loudly took credit for 'settling' Brooklyn for white people like them.

Wut.

In an interview with The Gothamist, the man who wants to remain anonymous at least has some shame about the episode.

The man who was recently caught on video berating a couple after their stroller hit his leg has not yet watched the video of himself shouting about how he "settled" Downtown Brooklyn for other white people. "I'm not gonna watch it, I understand it's probably ugly, and I'll feel embarrassed about it," the man told Gothamist. "I can't stand to watch that stuff."

He explained his side of the events that went down when the stroller hit his leg:

"The woman is talking over her shoulder to her husband, and doesn't notice," he said. "So I said a snarky thing, which the brothers say to me when I bump into them, which is 'excuse you.' We all know that's acceptable in New York. It's a little dicky, but that's what people say."

Instead of apologizing or acknowledging the faux pas, B.A. says the woman "starts screaming at me, 'F*ck you! Who do you think you are?' Then the guy starts screaming at me, 'F*ck you,' and starts coming at me with his fists like this. Now as soon as the guy comes at me with his fists, I'm telling you, if you come at somebody with your fists, be prepared that [the other person] is going to put their fists back up."

If there is any leeway you can give this guy, it's that the supposed run-in with the stroller did leave a mark.

Still definitely not an excuse to claim ownership of bringing white people to Brooklyn.

Whole Foods Market Senior Media Relations Specialist Liz Burkhart said "It was meant to be water with the essence of vegetables and/or mushrooms (similar to bone broth), which is typically made over a long period of time soaking in water. It was made incorrectly and has since been removed."

Exploiting the poor has and will always be categorically wrong, but ripping off the rich and dumb—for whom uncooked asparagus is put in water bottles—is the American dream. Just like one cannot step in the same river twice or kick a dream, it's impossible to "exploit" the rich; they are the ones who exploit. They can, though, be ripped off and fleeced, and should be, as much as is possible and legal. Six dollar Whole Foods asparagus water is one such legal means of taking money away from people who have six dollars to spend on Whole Foods asparagus water and moving it somewhere else in the economy.

The Huffington Post brings this painfully awkward supercut of politicians talking about "rap music" and a few even reciting the lyrics. Some of the highlights include Utah Senator Orrin Hatch reading the lyrics from "Hits From the Bong" by Cypress Hill, Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman breaking down the semantics of "slapping a h*" and Florida Representative Dean Cannon quoting the song "99 Problems" by Jay-Z.