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San Francisco

Emily has been wanting to see San Francisco for a while. I've
heard really good things about it as well from those I know that either live in
the area, or have "touristed" there. So, we went for a few days at the end of last week.

I learned some time ago that one of the greatest blessings I can provide my
children is to be in a thriving marriage to their mother. In the same vein, one of the
greatest services I can provide a church as their minister is to role-model
healthy family life…not just talk about what it ought to look like. Our family
has it's issues sometimes like all families do, but I decided some time ago that if our family ever went through challenging stretches, I'd rather it be for a
reason besides that I didn't give enough of myself to Emily and the girls.

I
decided some time ago that I will give everything I can to the church. That's
just in my bloodstream. At the same time, I've been given the great gift of an amazing wife
and two beautiful girls that I have been called to love and serve as well. It's something I'm eternally thankful to God for, and will handle with the greatest joy and care.

One of the ways Emily and I try to keep our marriage strong and thriving is by rather rigidly spending regular alone time together. We generally go out or stay in at least once a week, and try to get out of town once a quarter or so…more if the opportunity presents itself. It's always just the two of us. Dinner out with friends isn't the same. Taking the kids with you isn't the same. Both of those things are good…they just aren't the same.

So, we went to San Francisco. We saw Fisherman's Wharf, stayed in Union Square, rode the cable cars, etc. But, the highlight of our trip was walking across the Golden Gate Bridge…the whole thing.

We didn't start out to do that. We were only going to go half-way. The view from the middle was breath-taking. So was spitting off the bridge….priceless 🙂

Walking and talking with coffee in hand across the 1.7 mile-long bridge was absolutely priceless. It was about 4 in the afternoon…and the sun was hitting the bay in just the right way. It was windy and cold, but was just one of those marital moments that you tuck away in your marital memory bank and throw away the key.

I'd really like to hear from you all. What do you do to keep your marriage strong and thriving? What advice have you heard from other couples that has helped you?

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Dr. Tim Spivey is Lead Planter of New Vintage Church in San Diego, California. He is the author of numerous articles and one book, "Jesus: The Powerful Servant." A sought after speaker for events, Tim also serves as Adjunct Professor of Religion at Pepperdine University. Tim serves as a church consultant, and his writings are featured on ChurchLeaders.com, Church Executive magazine, Faith Village, Sermon Central, and Giving Rocket.

7 thoughts on “San Francisco”

Get aways for parents are also such a great legacy to leave your children. We don’t do it very often but when we do I believe our children are seeing two people who are in love wanting to spend time together. They can see that being a Christian and being married is pretty cool and they will want to pattern their married lives after this example of devotion and love put before them. They also get to spend some great time at grandmas being spoiled! We biked across the golden gate one time. It was awesome. Blessings! Amy

I totally understand Tim and I agree. You definitely do need that time together. I guess I have just seen so many people who have kids, then spend the rest of their lives trying to get away from them on vacation or sticking them in daycare so they can have a career. It’s one of my pet peeves, as you can see because I went off on a tangent about it 🙂 hee hee
Also, I only wrote that part about the money because we are so broke right now hahahah!
I am happy you and Emily have it figured out for your family. All of you seem very happy!!!

Julie,
Thanks for the comments. I would certainly agree that one can leave the kids at home too much. However, I believe that it’s vitally important for there to be some distinction between parents and kids…the marital relationship and the family unit. Some. Not tons. Some.
Most of what Em and I do together costs little if anything. It’s about being together and being able to enjoy one another.

Glad you had fun in San Francisco. It is a beautiful place and I have been there several times.
I have a different take on the marriage/family thing. I don’t believe in leaving the kids often. I also don’t beleive in daycare or preschool. So that kind of tells you where I stand. I think couples should get away occasionally, of course. I also think that if say, for instance someone invites you to a wedding that kids are not invited to I think you should go and leave the kids home. But I also think that when you decide to have kids they become part of that union and that you should include them whenever possible if it is something they would have fun or benefit from doing. You are a family now, not a couple. In my opinion, too many people leave their kids at home too often. Also, not too many of us have the funds to go out once or twice a week and four times a year. I would rather spend that on the something the whole family can enjoy. I guess I don’t just look at it as Steve and I and then the kids are seperate. It’s a package of five. That’s what keeps our marriage, but more importantly our family strong.
Just my ever not so humble opinion 😉

Beautiful city, isn’t it?
One of the members from a church I’m associated with handed me a note a while back telling me I ought to meet you. Apparently you have a few fans in Texas.
Glad you had a good time in San Francisco.
Blessings to you.

you’re hard core dude! I lived up there for 5 years while doing campus ministry at Stanford and never walked golden gate. I just spent a lot of money paying the $4 tolls 🙂
great thoughts on marriage brother and great to see you’re enjoying being back in Cali
We’ll hook up one of these days!
BV

Tim, I wanted to say something. I’m single and never been married. But I absolutely believe marriage is one of the most beautiful things on earth when you find a man and woman who love each other and enjoy spending time together. So good for you and Emily that y’all have made that a priority in your marriage. God bless it!