He flogged me to tears last night. The kind of tears that don’t stop when the floggers do. He pushed me hard and fast. Against the wall, into the wall, and through to release. My arms hurt from holding my palms to the brick, my back stung from his strikes. I fought the urge to fall – he would stop. I fought the urge to give in – I wasn’t there yet. I took strength from the wall against my palms, my chest, my forehead. Cool and solid. I screamed, I groaned, I swore and then I cried. He pulled me off the wall and squeezed me tight. Not quite done, he tossed me into toy’s lap to finish. So much better afterward. I giggled as a silly song came on, and sat back up. A chunk of pent up stress removed from my body by his floggers. So grateful.

I’m going to a house party this weekend. It feels like it’s been ages since I last did that. This will be different though. Going alone, not going to play with anyone. Though I might wear my straightjacket for a while. I thought I might figure out someone to play with, or at least someone to tie me up and let me go. But I think that if I still want that, the straightjacket will suffice. Last night really did help quite a bit.

The reason I’m actually going to the party instead of the club is MDQ. It’s the dungeon for the next issue of Modern Dungeon Quarterly. I’ll be interviewing the owner, and taking lots of pictures beforehand. Then getting to see first hand how much folks enjoy the dungeon. Might even take a few quotes from the guests. I can see it now, voice recorder in the crook of one restrained elbow, business cards in the other. You might have to tune in over at MDQ next week to find out how that goes.

Publishing the magazine has really got me motivated to write and publish more. I’m thinking of making up little ebooks of erotica. Using the stories I’ve posted here (what’s Your favorite?), as well as creating new ones for each ebook. Themed and all. After all, an erotic blogger from the UK has fast become the most wanted author here in the Midwest and got picked up by Random House. If only I were that good at social networking. 😉 Anyone have tips?

The Everest Answer: Because it’s there.
The Ego-maniacal Answer: Because I can.
The Inner Child Answer: Because it’s fun.
The Social Networking Answer: Because a few others are doing it.
The Google Analytics Answer: Because more posts = more traffic.

My Answer:
I was looking for ways to connect with other bloggers and to drive more traffic to my blog. As a writer, I want to reach as many people as I can with my writing. When I noticed a call for guest posts on the topic of Defining Your Kinky Self, I jumped at it. I had fun writing that post, and I noticed it was for a meme of 30 questions. I glanced briefly over that meme, generally having no patience for such things, and noticed that some of the questions looked interesting and some of them looked fun. The turn of the year was coming up, and New Year’s resolutions being what they are, I figured one that would last me through January would be easy enough to stick to. Also, I had most of the first week of the month off from work and would need something besides cleaning to keep me entertained.

So, Saturday I reposted the guest post on my own blog, having only previously linked to it. Then Sunday I started writing. Answering the questions in order. I knew that some days I would be too busy to blog, so I figured I’d get a head start. The first six days were all very interesting questions to me. Where did my kinky self come from? Monday, I kept plugging away, figuring I might as well just get them all done as quickly as possible and then move on to bigger and better things. I had conversations with several people, both positive and negative, and come Tuesday, I finished up all the posts. By that evening, I had them done and scheduled to post over the course of the month.

So, what have I learned from this? I was planning on posting a reflections post on the 31st, but that’s a long way away and I finished writing them yesterday. A lot of the questions, I realized, I had already answered, and so I simply linked back to those answers, occasionally with a comment or two. Some of the questions were of no interest to me, so I gave a short and simple response or linked off site. Some of them were things I had not thought of in a long time, and so I enjoyed the reflection. I even got back in contact with an old friend, for at least a moment. While answering the questions, I came up with four other topics I wish to delve into more deeply on my own. All in all, I enjoyed poking around both in my memory and in my old blog posts.

So, I hope you enjoy this exercise as much as I did, and if not, well, most of the posts are very short, and I will be posting my usual weekly content, as well, possibly more than normal if I end up turning those four topics into four distinct posts. My New Year’s Resolution being to blog more often.

Blogging, writing, screaming to be noticed – silently. Watching the numbers on the stats graph rise and fall, seeing them fall more often than rise. What am I doing this for? Who and I doing this for? Why? Every Thursday I spend hours staring at the screen, wondering what to write about, wondering how it will be taken, if anyone will even read it, will even care. Last week someone asked to reblog a post I made and I was shocked, especially given the topic. Today I’m at a loss, after spending the afternoon rambling at him over a variety of topics, none of which is “fit to print,” as they say.

I wonder about this blog, this weekly posting on a random topic. A lot of the books I read on blogging suggested posting every day, at least a few times every day, if you really wanted to have a successful blog. I have a hard time getting one post written a week, I couldn’t imagine posting every few hours. Isn’t that what Twitter is for? Let’s not even go into how I don’t even begin to use Twitter correctly. I’m not a social person, an introvert trying to join the social network.

And I’ve got this blog in two different places, splitting my audience between a WordPress sponsored blog and my personal website. It isn’t much of a site really: the blog, a bio and a couple of pictures, but I like the theme better, and some day, maybe I’ll have a book to promote or I might review products in the sidebar. Technically, I’ll have a book to promote come November. The first of my flash fiction pieces is due out the first installment of a year long anthology on October 31st if all goes as planned. They’re looking at publishing three months worth at a time, instead of it all at once.

So what do those social people talk about, those ones who blog all the time, or use twitter correctly? Their lives, details and stories taken directly every day from what they are doing currently or did last night. Sharing far more in depth than a shy anonymous blogger like me would consider safe. Safe? I share a lot of details, and while I say this is anonymous, people who know me could probably figure it out, and I have shared it with people I trust. But to share more, would feel like an invasion of privacy, and not just theirs, but mine as well. I don’t have enough to say to the public at large to fill a blog every day. I hardly ever update my non-kinky Facebook status more than once a week.

I’m not sure why I’m sharing this strange and non-kink related ramble with you, my dear readers, other than to say it’s been a scrambled kind of day. I want to share with you more often, but I don’t know if that’s possible. Though I feel that after this post, I owe you at least one over the weekend, if not a handful of tweets as well.

Let me leave you with these thoughts. Winter is coming, I need stockings and a warm coat. It’s hard being sexy when your teeth are chattering. And no one in his right mind is going to offer his cock to distract and warm you if it looks like you’re going to bite it off involuntarily.