Wednesday, December 5, 2012

1. I'm a 35-year-old woman from Spain. Lesbian, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual.... blup... I've never liked to define myself in terms of sexuality, or even gender, but social interactions have been forcing me to since I was born.

2. When i was a child, until I was 9 or 10 years old, I secretly wanted to be a boy. Once playing on the fields of the school, on break time, a girl approached me and asked me if I wanted to be a male. I was wearing a red dress, very feminine, and charol shoes. I lied consciously to her. I was 6, and I already was aware of social mental rigid conceptions of gender in this world.

3. Now I am a very attractive, feminine girl, thin, athletic, with long blonde hair and a sweet face. Also I think of myself as someone androgynous. I play the female card, and I guess people see mainly the feminine in me, even though I still feel that I reflect to the outside this little girl that wanted to be "macho."

4. When some people drive me crazy trying to define my sexuality, I answer to them that I'm a gay guy in a body of a women that fucks women. It really bothers me, this mental blockade that most people have in their minds, but at the same time I'm compassionate with them. I feel more comfort, in terms of sexuality, with my bisexual, or homosexual, or transsexual friends, because all these things are already understood, but I do love all my friends.

5. I came out of the closet to my father and to my brother at the age of 14.

6. I lost my virginity with a man at 14 also.

7. I lost my virginity with a women at 15.

8. At 19 I fell for a guy, and then I had to get out of the closet again, but this time the heterosexual one, because everybody thought of me as a lesbian. Then I decided to not define myself any more.

9. I have been with 150-170 different people, more or less. Males and females. All of them before 27. After that I was in a monogamous relationship with a women with 2 kids for 7 years, and after that, maybe 5-6 people.

10. I've had a threesome a few times. Sexually, it can work. Twice, I've been in an emotional threesome, and at the end it becomes a disaster, even though the last one ended up becoming that 7-year relationship.

11. I was in a foursome once: 2 women, one male and me. Too much stress.

12. I've had four long term relationships: with a man for 3 years, a woman for 2 years, another women for 2 years, and another women for 7 years. The first two were not monogamous.

13. I think I have never really fallen in love with a man, and I wonder if one day I will. I would like to, and I think I am capable of it. I guess it's never happened because i wasn't lucky with the males that I found. I was close to it twice, but I don't know. I keep myself open. I really like women, and the feeling of falling in love with a woman, when it comes, feels easy and natural.

14. I don't like it from behind. It is painful for me. With one or two fingers is OK. I would like to be in love with someone with the patience and the eagerness for doing it to me. But I need love to open on a certain level.

15. I like toys. But I can only use them when I feel very comfortable with someone, and that means being in love too. Or a really, really good friendship, and long-term lover.

16. All these sexual experiences gave me an open view of life. I was always searching for what love is (I know it sounds weird with that number of people, but in a way that was the ignition inside of me), or how many forms love can take.

17. With time I became more respectful with myself, and more picky. Now it's hard for me to open sexually to someone if there's no friendship at least, and a good friendship. But there are so many things that I need to be there at the same time: good chemistry, an open mind, capacity of feeling, no shame, adventure for discovery...

18. Some times I don't let anyone get close to me. These periods can be 5-6 months long, or even longer, but i consider myself too young for celibacy, so I "force" myself to open a bit to sexual lovers, even if it's not exactly-exactly what I am looking for. Usually I pick up male partners for this.

19. Sex and emotions go together for me, but sometimes it's amazing how far away the emotions that I relate to some sexual experiences can be to the reality of whom I have in front of me. Projections. The intensity of good sex can give blindness. Not love, as is said.

20. Sometimes i feel like a man, sometimes i feel like a women. (Inside myself, not related to any action, not related to how I look.)

21. I like to fuck with men as if I was a man myself, and then change the role, and be fucked like a woman by a man. With women I become softer and stronger at the same time. I like when a women takes me, and seduces me, and forces me aggressively. And i like to do the same to them.

22. I started to masturbate when I was 2 or 3. I still do it in the same way as when I started when I was a child, face down with my fingers on my clit, and the sheet in the middle. At the age of 6 i realized that it was better to not do it in front of anybody, a bit later I realized that this thing that I was doing was actually what the adults call masturbation.

23. By myself, I prefer to have clitoral orgasms, and I like them in the shower too. If I am with someone, it does not matter if it's a women or a man, i prefer to have a vaginal orgasm. I'm multi-orgasmic both ways.

24. To get to have a vaginal and a clitoral orgasm at the same time, I need to be with a partner that I've known for a long time. If not, I cannot open up.

25. I like to talk about sex, but usually I have to be careful in which way I do it. If I am with a heterosexual male friend I talk about certain things, and I avoid others. If I am with a heterosexual female, the same. With a bisexual male I can be a little more open, but also not totally open; with a lesbian friend also... and so on. It's nice to just be me, and to just talk free freely.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

1. I am a 20-year-old, heterosexual, White British, cis female who is a virgin.

2. I have never had a "formal" sex education class, apart from brief discussions of the biological aspects of reproduction and some general "abortions and contraception are evil" talks. Everything else I’ve learned has been from the Internet, and there’s a lot of "basic" stuff I’ve only just learned in the last year or so. I am rather sheltered. My parents never gave me "the talk."

3. I wonder if anyone will ever find me attractive. The only time people have tried to state things to me has been when they’ve been using me as an object of ridicule.On one occasion a few years back, I ran into two of my childhood bullies. They hadn’t changed, and were going out of their way, still, after all these years, to make me uncomfortable. Another occasion was someone who followed me over a railway bridge near my home bugging me for my phone number the whole way. I unfortunately seem to notice every single one of my physical flaws, and my main area is actually my arms, not my stomach, which is surprising.

4. When I was in secondary school, I was inappropriately touched on my inner thigh by a student who was older than I. He apparently did it on a dare. And no, my school didn’t really do anything, even after my mum kept me out of school for a week until they ‘sorted’ things out. I’ve noticed the memory creeping back on me over the last year or so, when I thought for the most part I’d buried it away.

5. I’m not sure if I want a relationship for the sake of being a ‘thing’ that everyone is meant to have and/or if I’m just generally wanting the companionship and affection that tends to come along with it, as I tend to be a rather solitary person.

6. I was a ‘late bloomer’--when I was a child and everyone started gushing aboutboyfriends/girlfriends, I wasn’t interested, I only got somewhat ‘interested’ in my mid-teens. Even then, I’ve never had much of a sex drive.

7. I wonder if I’ll ever be emotionally stable enough for a long term relationship.

8. I’ve only ‘properly’ masturbated once, but I don’t know if I did it right, as it didn’t seem to work.

9. The thought of actually having sex honestly terrifies me.

10. I was raised Christian, so I was brought up to believe that ‘sex is not for outside marriage.' I think to some extent I still stick to that belief, even if I’m not really a believer anymore (or at the least, ‘no sex unless in a long-term, committed relationship'), but my general overall view is something along the lines of ‘do what you want provided that you’re safe and consensual.’

11. I feel at constant conflict with how feminine I am and how I’m ‘meant’ to be. I honestly do not know ‘how’ to be feminine.

12. I have never had any form of romantic experience (including kissing).

13. I don’t seem to have ever had a ‘crush’ on someone I actually know/have met. The only crushes I have had have been famous people or fictional characters.

14. I am stupidly self-conscious, not just about my appearance but it seems every aspect of me. I got bullied and generally excluded a lot as a child. I have never gotten the hang of being ‘social.’ I never know how to act around people. I am also dyspraxic, so I’ve always been self-conscious that I am not ‘normal,’ and have a feeling that people pick up on it.

15. Visual porn doesn’t seem to have much effect on me, but saying that, well-written sex scenes have some effect on me (most, though, I’ve found in M-rated fan-fiction, ahem).

16. I feel incredibly awkward if I get stuck in a conversation about sex. Once a classmate’s boyfriend caught onto this and purposely kept talking about it to make me squirm.

17. I think one of the reasons I haven’t had a boyfriend is due to my rather small social circle. I am shy and introverted so I steer away from a lot of ‘social’ places, and I am not comfortable in such places. I am honestly my own worst enemy in that regard.

18. I have tried online dating, but I don’t think it’s for me. I got inundated with requests from people who didn’t seem to read my profile. I had one person I seemed to maybe have a chance with, but I have a bad feeling I made things go sour.

19. On the one hand, rom-coms and ‘romantic’ movies in general make me want to throw up, and I criticize how inaccurate they are, and I can’t stand to watch them--yet I still like the idea of romantic gestures and ‘old fashioned’ courting and would actually really love to be slightly doted on like that at least once.

20. I’ve had an ‘imaginary boyfriend,' or at least a random imaginary guy my mind conjured up to try and see what my ‘ideal’ person would be.

21. I’ve never really been attracted to ‘macho’ guys. I also have a bit of a thing for red hair, and long hair, and green eyes, yet I’ve never really liked guys with blond hair.

22. The thought of giving someone a blowjob honestly squicks me out a fair deal.

23. I don’t think I could ever have sex with someone I didn’t have feelings for.

24. Whoever I end up having sex with, I’d need to trust them completely.

25. I’ve noticed I have a thing for guys wearing eyeliner, and guys with nice eyes in general.

Monday, December 3, 2012

2. I've been married for 13 years and 100% faithful. I surprised myself - until meeting my wife I wasn't good at being faithful. I didn't mean any harm, I just liked fucking.

3. We've had periods of lots of sex, and periods with very little. Daily masturbation gets me through the slow times.

4. On average, I've orgasmed every day since I was 15.

5. I've had days where I've orgasmed 10 times. Things got a bit sore, but it was worth it.

6. Until doing this, I've never counted sexual partners, but it would be 40ish.

7. I was very lucky with my partners--most of them were great in the sack. I don't claim credit for their performances, but I had some sensational times.

8. I don't understand how people could "save themselves" for one person.

9. I dated a girl who was terrible in bed. I had no idea someone could have so little idea/interest in sex. The relationship ended abruptly.

10. I can last as long as I like, or come as quickly as I like. It's about a moment, being in it, or being a little detached from it.

11. When I was younger blowjobs didn't make me orgasm.

12. In my early 20's, when a girl did get me to orgasm by giving me head, it blew me away so much it scared me off them.

13. My wife gives me great blow jobs. It's making me hard right now thinking about them, and I'm at work.

14. Nothing makes me hornier than a partner coming.

15. I loved partners who were comfortable in their own skin. I love seeing a girl masturbate to orgasm if I couldn't help them get there.

16. Little catches of breath, quivers and shivers. Nothing better.

17. A partner showed me how to go down on her. It was a set of explicit (no pun intended) instructions. Lick here and insert two fingers now. The intensity of her orgasm made me orgasm, with no hands or touching--the first and only time that's ever happened.

18. There's nothing that I really hunger for. I once was offered anal, but declined. I've thought about that offer quite a bit, mentally it turns me on because of the taboo thing, but reality might not match up.

19. I fantasize about old partners a lot when masturbating. Special things stick in your mind.

20. My fantasies are matching my age. I don't get horny over younger women, I fantasize over women about the same age as me. Women in their 40s always made me hot. In my mid 20s I had 2 relationships with women 10 years older than me. They were super horny.

21. My wife fantasizes lots during sex. I like to hear about them afterwards. They're cool fantasies, and nothing that I would ever think of.

22. We've never thought about role-playing them.

23. Outdoor = good (and naughty).

24. I like all sex. In bed naked together is as good as pants 'round her knees standing in the hallway.

25. I love lingerie, but my tastes change. Currently it's panties that show lots of bum cheek underneath and look very soft. I'm not sure whats going on in my head either, but I like my own tastes.