Wednesday, October 30, 2013

my mom made my childhood magical

Yesterday Pirate and I went on a little walk to collect some fall leaves. I wanted to do this craft with him because it's one I remember my mom doing with us. He was excited about it as I used to be, and when we hung the final product in the window he couldn't have been more proud.

I couldn't resist texting a picture to my mom, who immediately texted back that it was so beautiful it made her want to cry. I read her text and thought she was being maybe just a bit dramatic. It's pretty -sure, but far from inspiring tears. I mulled over her comment a bit longer and realized it was much more than the simple, child-produced artwork that had her emotional. I'm carrying on a tradition. She used to do this with us, and now I'm doing it with my little man. I think what made her emotional was that her turn is over.

Like all of us, I don't think my mom savored every single moment of raising children. I think there were probably days she thought she might go crazy. She probably had fantasies of hoping in the car and holing up in a quiet hotel room for a day or two. The truth is motherhood is hard. Raising children is hard. But, if she ever felt that way (and she must have. I was far from a pleasant child.) I never for a second felt it.

She made my childhood magical. I didn't fully appreciate that until recently, but now even the smallest things make me think of her. Like pressing the fork into the peanut butter cookies, and making the smiley face with the ketchup, and pressing crayon shavings between two pieces of wax paper. Simple, small little things done with great love.

That's the secret of it all, isn't it? Love. We couldn't afford a lot, but she gave her everything with a whole, whole lot of love.

Yesterday I shed a few tears of my own. These moments are fleeting. This little man of mine will only be 3 for a year. He'll only be 4 for a year. And soon he'll be off into the world, making his own way, and my turn will be over. In the mean time I plan on cherishing every moment I can. I hope to serve up regular, daily life with a big dose of love, just like my mom did.