"When I found the one I love, I held him and would not let him go" (Song of Solomon 3:4). My name is Kristy Dykes, and I write Christian love stories for Barbour Publishing...perhaps because I live with a hero husband. At this site, I cover marriage, romance, and Christian fiction. These book titles make me smile--and offer great truths: Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy and Sometimes I Let Him Sleep, Love Extravagantly, Every Marriage Is A Fixer-Upper, Red-Hot Monogamy.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

MOM'S WEDDING RING

Milton, here for Kristy:

One of the hardest things I had to deal with was listening to Kristy share with our daughters about her desire for them to have and wear her jewelry and especially the ring I gave her as a token of my promise that I would love her and commit to her until separated by death.

When Kristy passed, I chose to let my children and close family enjoy things that were special to her and let this be a way to celebrate her and honor her.

Jennifer and Julie talked with Kristy and with love, respect, and maturity, they all agreed for Jennifer to wear Kristy's wedding ring I gave her. Julie received other pieces of jewelry she loved.

Jennifer wrote these words on August 14, 2008, the anniversary date of Kristy and my wedding in 1971.

Jennifer, here:

37 years is a long time. Today, August 14th would have marked 37 years of marriage for my parents.

To say "would have marked" is very hard for me type. I still find it unbelievable she is gone...

Don't you?

Before my mother got really sick she sat my sister and I down and went through her jewelry. While it was incredibly difficult, I'm so glad she thought to do this with us. It means the world to me to know she wanted me to have some of her pieces.

For me, she gave her wedding ring. What an incredible honor. I wear it daily on my right hand, only taking it off at night. My dad let me take it back home with me and I'll be forever grateful.

I'll never forget after I put it on my finger and showed him, he looked at me with such pride and love shinning in his eyes and said "I'm so proud and honored for you to wear it." That meant more to me than I can ever express. I'll never forget the look of love and pride my dad had for me in that moment. I feel sure my mom was looking on in pride at him! In that moment I felt her legacy being passed on to me.

Her wedding ring that I now wear is a symbol of undying love, faithfulness, and commitment. It stands for 37 years of what I pray to be.

It is a constant reminder that love is a commitment. That marriage CAN work! 37 years ago my mother made a vow to love my dad unto death, and boy did she ever! Like wise my dad made a vow to love unto death and I've never seen a person do that like my dad did. He never left my mom or gave up on her. In a time and world where people are giving up like crazy, my dad never failed to love her or be there for her. He was her hero and he lived up to that word in every sense.

When I wear her ever familiar ring, I feel like a piece of her is with me. When I soap Claudia's hair, I'm reminded she wore this ring when she soaped my hair as a child. When I make her famous meat balls, I'm reminded she wore this ring when she made meat balls for us. I think of the people this ring has touched while praying for those in need. I think of the hundreds of task she did all while wearing this ring. There's a lot of history, a lot of legacy, a lot to live for and a lot to live up too.

In a hard to describe way I feel her with me, helping me, encouraging me, cheering me on. I don't feel like the same mother or wife anymore. Everything has softened and there is a peace about me. Even those around me have commented saying there is a glow about me, something different.

I close for now saying thank you for support and prayers. I know many have emailed me or sent cards and I want to say that it means the world and has held me up when I felt like falling down.

6 Comments:

I know your mom watches you from heaven with pride.How precious and meaningful the relationships that little circle of gold has blessed and will continue to bless through Kristy's legacy. It is certainly a circle and symbol of enduring love. I want to leave my daughters my jewels, and I pray they'll treasure them as you do. God bless. Barb

I know exactly how you feel, Jennifer, for I wear my mom's. They had many more years than your mom and dad, they had 62 and went home to heaven within 4 months of each other. That was hard.

Their marriage was so much like your parents' was. And marriage is a life long committment.

No one loves their mate ALL the time. There are ups and downs. But in the nearly 38 years I've been married (that seems so strange when I'm only 39) the one thing I discovered is that when I can't love my husband, God can love him through me. And God can relight the fires of loev if we ask Him to.

Instead of giving up, I asked God to change me. He did, and in the process did some polishing on my hubby too. ;)

Dear Milton and Jennifer, What a wonderful tribute to Kristy. Thanks so much for sharing this. It is great to know Jennifer is wearing Kristy's ring and that she treasurers it so much. It is a great reminder of all her mom has taught her....and now she can live that out with her family.

This is such a sweet post. I am so glad you are continuing on with the blog. It means so much to those of us that have been on this journey with you. Jennifer must have some of Kristy's writing talent as this was so well written. Aren't sweet memories wonderful?

About Me

“Pizzazz! Enthusiasm! High energy! Those are a few of the words that describe Kristy Dykes. From the moment she steps up to the platform, she captivates your attention. As both a writer and a speaker, Kristy is moving and motivating. She will touch your heart with love and laughter.”-- FLORENCE LITTAUER. A former newspaper columnist, Kristy Dykes is an award-winning author of 10 Christian fiction titles as well as over 600 articles in many publications including two New York Times subsidiaries. Her titles have been on the Christian bestsellers list and Top 20 List at christianbook.com, and have won many awards including Second Place in the 2007 Barclay Gold, Third Place in the 2007 Inspirational Readers Choice Contest, and Third Place in the ACFW 2006 Book of the Year Contest (novella category). Kristy writes a column for the ezine of the inspirational chapter of Romance Writers of America, has taught at many conferences and two colleges, and speaks for women's and writers' events.
Living a kaleidoscopic life as a pastor’s wife, she jokes that she has 1.2 million acts of kindness in circulation instead of 1.2 million books. And she loves every minute of it!

A RECENT AWARD

Kristy won Second Place in the 2007 Barclay Gold for her novella "Angel Food" in the 4-in-1 collection Kiss the (Cook) Bride. She won Third Place for the same title in the 2007 Inspirational Readers Choice Contest, awarded by FHL, the inspirational chapter of Romance Writers of America. Kristy also won Third Place in the 2006 Book of the Year Contest, awarded by American Christian Fiction Writers, for her novella "Reunited" in the 4-in-1 collection Wedded Bliss?.

KRISTY'S PUBLISHED WORKS

The Heart of the Matter

Kiss the Bride

Wedded Bliss?

Room At the Inn

Holiday At the Inn

The Tender Heart

Church in the Wildwood

Sweet Liberty

American Dream

KRISTY'S UPCOMING RELEASE

Florida Weddings (Spring '08)

KRISTY'S LATEST BOOKS

1) The Heart of the Matter, a novel, is now available at christianbook.com. "Can Luke overcome his vain prejudice? Can Jeris allow her tender heart to trust again? Will they let God show them the heart of the matter?" (1 Samuel 16:7) 2) Kiss the Bride, a 4-in-1 novella collection, is also available. Coauthors: Kristy Dykes, Aisha Ford, Vickie McDonough, Carrie Turansky. Plot: Four restaurant owners discover a dash of hope, a dollop of longing, and a plateful of faith are the recipe for romance.