Adults Only

One of the first big decisions a newlywed couple will make is where to take their honeymoon. Of course, some couples have made that often expensive decision prior to saying “I do!” Considering the ephemeral durations of many marriages today, that may not be a wise financial decision. However, if the couple waits to see the bottom line of their monetary wedding gifts, and sure that there are no surprises, (Google Yentl to see what I mean) then I suppose plans for the honeymoon can be solidified soon after the couple rides off, tin cans clacking in the wind, and love and hope rising into the clouds. I realize that plane and hotel arrangements must often be made well in advance, especially if you want to avoid giving most of your hard-earned wedding gifts to the CEOs at airline and hotel groups. If you fall into this demographic, the below list applies to your advance planning as well. This article is not going to list the “Top 10 Destinations for Honeymoons” or even the latest trend, the Mini-Moon. Instead, I am going to give my own wedding gift to every newlywed couple reading this post – the gift of my hard-won travel wisdom, my road-tested sagacity. The endurance of a marriage paired with love’s longevity, and the expense and life-fracturing stress of a divorce are two reasons to start with healthy communication from the start. When it comes to honeymoons, no matter how big or little, that means knowing your partner’s “Travel Q.” What’s a “Travel Q?” It’s the vital information you need to know about how your partner lives, eats, sleeps and reacts on a trip. Knowing this means the difference between phone calls in the middle of the night to friends and relatives saying, “Oh my god, did I make a mistake with him?” or “I can’t stand another minute of her asking for gluten free soba noodles.”Sit down prior to the wedding for a conversation dedicated only to your honeymoon and to figuring out each other’s Travel Qs.

Gather magazine and Internet articles that showcase a variety of destinations.

Make separate lists of dream destinations as well as lists of “no fly zones.” Compare your lists.

Negotiate how much you should spend AS A COUPLE on your honeymoon.

Look at your work calendars and make sure that the honeymoon does not interfere with other responsibilities…this time is about the two of you, not you, your spouse, and your co-workers.

Planning large trips can be stressful in itself, but please, always realize the purpose of this trip…you and your spouse will be making hundreds, maybe thousands of decisions in your lives. When the stress seems to rise, hold each other’s hands, or take a break from the planning and do something that the two of you enjoy.

Ask each other these vital questions:

Are you Mr. or Mrs. Fry in the Sun? Do we need to slather you in zinc anywhere in the world with rays?

Do you have bug phobias we need to know about in case we encounter spiders, or other creepy crawlies?

Do you have a liquor that hits your sweet spot so hard you find it hard to stop imbibing? Like tequila?

Do you have problems controlling your reactions to Instagrammers in dental floss thongs or in speedos?

Do you speak really embarrassing Spanish, French, etc.? Will I cringe when I hear you attempting to order an omelet in the local lingo, but end up having the waiter hand you an unbrella?

Are you a good tipper? Will we be embarrassed when we leave the hotel because the staff will be giving us “stank-eye?”

These are simple questions that can point your way to a stress-free honeymoon now and every time you decide to renew your vows or just get away from everyday life to that sweet spot where you first made your vows official.