Saturday, 7 December 2013

Makin' a Soapbox Cart

Moi
soapbox cart is ready fer racin'

It ain't very difficult ter make a
soap-box cart, provided yew've got a box an' some good wheels. The best kind
'ave got ball-bearings rather than ordin'ry plain bearings. Yew c'n sometimes
get 'em off'n an old perambulator (Wot a lovely word! But Oi fink that in America it's
wot they call a "baby carriage"). The underneath part is loke wot
Molly 'as in the picture 'ere. My own cart, "Emmeline P", 'as got
pram wheels too, wot come off my perambulator after my daft bruvver let it roll
down the steps in front of ol' farmer Catchpole's tractor… The wheels were
still okay though.

Moi
cart is named after that there Mrs Emmeline Pankhurst, wot chained 'erself ter
railin's an' went ter prison, an' all, so's women c'd get ter vote in England.
A right great lady she were, even though she weren't very big; loike me. She's
got 'er statue in a little park roight by the railin's o' Parliament 'Ouse,
near that woppin' great clock wot they call Big Ben, though roightly speakin'
it's the bell wot sounds the hour wot is really Big Ben. Any'ow, moi cart's
called Emmeline P; loike yew c'n see in the picture 'ere, an' nat’rally, it's
the fastest cart in Widdlin'ton, even if it's me wot says so.

O'
corse, yew're also goin' ter need a good wooden soap-box. Yew used ter be able ter
get one from the local store; they were only too glad ter be rid of 'em. It's
probably a bit 'arder ter get one these days, wot wiv the war, an' crises, an' modern
packagin', an' all that sorta fing. Still an' all, yew c'n always make a box
out of a plank or two; in which case, it's a good idea ter use somefink a bit
thinker, 'cos, when all's said an' done, them usual soap-boxes are just a bit
flimsy. They don't stay tergevver so well if yer cart 'appens ter turn over;
wot ain't so rare.

A
real important part of the cart, the long plank wot 'olds everyfink tergevver,
is wot we call the "Spine". That's gotta be real thick,
three-quarters of an inch at least. If it's any thinner, it'll be all springy,
loike wot them big American cars are, an' then yew c'n get kinda seasick when
it bounces up an' down over the bumps. Besides, it's gotta be solid enough ter
take the 'ole at the front fer the steerin' bolt. If'n it's too thin, yew'll lose
the front axle the very first toime yew ride down over a curbstone. See wot Oi
mean?

When
Peter an me made moi Emmeline P, Oi come along wiv a tin full o' nails, only
Peter said that nails weren't no good fer makin' carts. Yew 'ave ter screw 'em,
or better still, bolt 'em tergevver, 'cos nails work loose pretty quick. Oi
pass the tip on. Yew don' 'ave ter thank me fer it, 'cos Oi didn't know it either
at the toime. The best sort o' bolts, are them wiv a little square under the ‘ead.
They call 'em "coach" bolts. Yew need ter fix 'em wiv a washer under
the nut, ovverwise it 'urts the wood, an' then they come loose as quick as yew
c'n say Akron
Hill.