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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

#1895: Deborah Lindsey & the IMU

John Lilly, patient zero for all things
dolphin woo,
has passed away. We cannot find explicit evidence that Deborah Lindsey is into
dolphin woo, but she probably is. Lindsey is the founder of the International
Metaphysical University (IMU) (Courses in Shamanic Studies)
located in Vienna, West Virginia – at least that’s the postal address; the “university” seems primarily to exist online, and it’s sufficiently obscure to fail to make
it even to this comprehensive list. Lindsey is also the administrative contact and technical
contact for the, uh, institution. According to her own bio, “she’s the founder of the International Metaphysical
University (how many people start a UNIVERSITY?);” probably not many,
Lindsey, and we have some bad news for you. In any case, “[s]he is also trained and certified in more than a dozen healing
protocols including Reiki (Usui, Toltec/Nagual, Ma’haeo’o), Quantum Touch, Touch for Health, EnergyKinesiology, Pranic Healing, Hypnosis, Jaffe-Mellor Technique, Kolaimni [has to do with charging one’s
chakras, apparently], and more.”Also from her bio: “she’s one of those teachers who is ‘on a mission from God.’ (Yeah, it’s
a Blues Brother reference in the middle of a biography.)” Why, yes; yes, it
is.

None of the IMU’s (distant learning)
courses are anywhere remotely close to being accredited by anything resembling
any serious accrediting organization, but they are at least reasonably expensive,
and one suspects that their intended target audience is precisely those who
don’t have a clear grasp of the difference between those two parameters. The
course catalogue is at least fascinating. Lindsey herself does Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), and the IMU will happily certify you as an EFT practitioner (hah!), but
she also teaches “Consciousness studies” and “Principles of Metaphysics” (a
1912 publication called “The Kybalion” by one Thoth,
“scribe of the gods”), and “Energy Anatomy” (“including how to see auras, and explore the meridian system in the body[;] [m]oreover, students will challenge their own
perceptions about the causes of illness and what it takes to heal;”
otherwise that course wouldn’t get very far, methinks).

Apart from these courses, the IMU course
catalogue contains (e.g.) the following:

Two courses on Anatomy and
Physiology for Energy Healers,
$197 each, which promise to answer “[b]urning
questions like if I have a stomach ache is it my stomach that hurts, or if
someone is a pain in the neck is it my neck or a little lower”. It’s almost
like medschool. Instructor: one Julia Ananeva,
who has “a deep understanding of
biological interconnections in a physical body” and can “bring Bio-energetic healing to the higher
level;” she is also an expert on the Law of Attraction.

Energy Kinesiology and Muscle
Testing, on e.g. energy blockages as a cause for disease; the course comes with a version of the Quack Miranda.
Instructor: John Maguire, founder and director of the LA Kinesiology Institute.

There are also practical courses, such as
“Creating the Foundation for Your Irresistibly Authentic Metaphysical or
Holistic Healing Consultancy” and “Creating Your Rapidly Saleable Business
Programs and Packages”, all with one Diane Boerstler. Boerstler is probably a
person to take note of for future reference; if a company has a
Boerstler-number of less than, say, 3 you should probably avoid it.

Diagnosis: It actually seems that Lindsey
somehow believes the stuff she peddles, but I am not sure that makes it any
better. Complete, undiluted insanity.