Lenny Dykstra: Private Jets The Only Way To Fly

Lenny Dykstra, former baseball player cum financial guru cum walking quote machine has a new column over at TheStreet.com imploring us to consider flying on private planes.

Without even tacitly acknowledging our current economic troubles Dykstra says, “I would have never known how wonderful it is to fly a private jet if I hadn’t tried it out. That’s what I want you to do.” It’s a story that’s too good to be true:

Dykstra via TheStreet: I know that may sound a little snotty, but certainly you know how I feel. Does anyone enjoy flying commercial these days?

Flying on a regular airline is especially difficult and expensive if you have a family. The hassle of getting to the airport, checking your luggage, waiting to get through the security line, and then finally making it to your seat.

Even when I flew first class, this was no joy. After paying big bucks for first class, you still have to deal with every person who sits in the back of the plane hitting you on your shoulder and elbow with their luggage, purses and whatever else they may be carrying as they pass by.

Ugh, we know, right? Who do these people think they are? Please tell us there’s a cheap alternative.

First, let me dismiss a few myths about taking a private plane. You don’t always have to rent out the whole plane. Many private jet companies will let you share with other travellers, and that reduces the expense greatly.

Much of the cost will depend on where you are going, and how flexible you are with your travel plans. Flying private is an especially worthwhile consideration if you’re taking a trip with the whole family on very little notice.

For example, if you want to fly a family of our first-class from New York to Los Angeles with only one day’s notice, your total outlay for this would run anywhere from $14,000 to $21,000, depending on what time of day you left.

Generally, you could fly a private jet for $65,000 on the low end, though the average price should be around $85,000.

Wait a second. You said this would be cheap. This is 3-6 times more expensive? Have you seen our portfolio lately? We loaded up on financial stocks earlier this year. Whoops!

Second, flying private eliminates so much of the travel hassle that it’s worth some extra money.

Now, remember, the commercial airlines tell you that flying first class is worth it, but what hassle do they eliminate? You still wait in line to check your luggage, and you still have to wait to get through security, and there’s no guarantee that your luggage is going to land at the same time that you do. If you fly first class a great deal, you know what I’m talking about.

When I take a private jet, it’s so easy. I just drop off my luggage, go through the security very quickly, and then I settle back in my plush seat and take off when we’re ready. Who needs to follow the schedule of a commercial airline, when you can pretty much set your own.