(Looks like he is training hard for…oh god that was awful. I’ll show myself out now. -SF)

Alright, so we’re being dicks in calling these fights “freakshows,” yes. Only one of them included a former World’s Strongest Man champion swinging his ham hocks around wildly, after all – the other had a legit top Polish prospect against a very good kick boxer – and both of them included guys with the guts to glove up and man-up.

UFC veteran and certified internet troll nut bag Sean McCorkle appears to wilt under Pudzi’s initial strong-man onslaught before getting on top and finishing with a Kimura shoulder lock.

For a few moments in the bout between Mamed Khalidov and Melvin Manoef, the two tried kicking the crap out of each other. Then, Mamed thought better of exchanging with the K-1 veteran and promptly guillotine choked Melly-Mel.

Check out both vids after the jump. Don’t pretend you have something better to do.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Potato Nation, the creme de la creme of freak show MMA fights has just been booked. No, we’re not talking about Canseco vs. O’Neal or Zimmer vs. Martinez II (the latter of which is as elusive as the great white buffalo). We’re talking about McCorkle vs. Pudzianowski, the SHW showdown years in the making that has finally become a reality. Now, you might be asking yourself, “Danga, how is this the aforementioned pinnacle of freak show fights, you good for nothing piece of hyperbolic human garbage?” Well first ask yourself the three prerequisite questions necessary to determine any great freak show fight, you cold-hearted son of a bitch.

Let me make one thing clear from the very beginning: I’m not trying to say that it wasn’t newsworthy — even inspirational — when Fallon Foxfirst came out as a transgender MMA fighter. Transgender individuals are extremely prone to harassment, discrimination, violence and bigoted stereotyping — all tragically evident by looking at the Facebook posts and tweets that have been directed at Fox since she came out roughly one month ago. I am in full support of her rights to be socially acknowledged and treated as any other woman would be treated outside of the cage.

Despite the punishment, UFC fighters are still willing to discuss Fallon Fox — who, let’s remember, doesn’t even fight in the UFC — with reporters. Yesterday, The New York Post published an interview with one of the most talented, popular, and accomplished female fighters of all time, Ronda Rousey. A total of zero questions had anything to do with Rousey’s own future in the sport, instead focusing on how she feels about potentially fighting Fallon Fox:

“She can try hormones, chop her pecker off, but it’s still the same bone structure a man has,” Rousey told The Post. “It’s an advantage. I don’t think it’s fair.”

(Palelei puts a twelve-second beating on Bob Sapp, then visibly regrets accepting the fight in the first place.)

Way back in 2007, a towering Australian slugger by the name of Soa Palelei made his UFC debutat UFC 79: Nemesis. In what would turn out to be Palelei’s lone appearance in the organization, the Aussie engaged in a tepid, horrendously sloppy clinchfest with fellow future-castaway Eddie Sanchez. It was easily the worst fight of the night — marred by long stretches of inactivity, a pair of low blows, and an equally anticlimactic ending in which Soa basically called it quits due to some swelling around his eye — and ranked among the worst of the year.

Sanchez, having narrowly avoided being fired by virtue of winning the fight, would lose his next two fights before receiving a mercy execution from the promotion. Palelei, on the other hand, would not be given a second shot in the UFC (perhaps rightfully so) and would spend the next five years compiling a 10-1 record in the hopes that he could someday earn a chance at redemption and Zuffa glory.

Well, according to Palelei’s management team (Paradigm Sports Management), the heavyweight KO artist will finally be given that chance, as he has inked a four-fight deal with the UFC. Palelei stated the following in an official press release that was sent out yesterday:

I’m thankful to Dana White and Joe Silva for giving me this opportunity to come back to the UFC to showcase my skills. With determination, hard work and a great team, I’m happy to say that today I have signed with the UFC. I look forward to competing in the best organization in the world.

(Palelei vs. McCorkle, as reenacted by The Incredible Hulk and the mythical God Loki, respectively. The actual video is after the jump, but this is basically what happened.)

When we last checked in on Sean “Big Sexy” McCorkle, he had just lost a cardio battle to an amorphous blob and vowed to retire from the sport if he ever gave such a pathetic showing again. Unfortunately for Sean, his next scheduled fight was against Soa “The Hulk” Palelei — a fellow UFC veteran who was far more dangerous than the tomato cans McCorkle has padded his record with over the years — at AFC 4 last weekend. Fortunately for Sean, his piss poor cardio had absolutely nothing to do with his downfall this time out, so at least he won’t have to go back on his word. It’s a small victory, sure, but one that most of us would probably cherish if we flew all the way to Australia to land roughly zero punches and get smashed through the canvas by Palelei’s megaton fists of fury like McCorkle did.

When Anderson Silva called out George St. Pierre a little over a week ago, the MMA blogosphere’s reactions ranged from overwhelming enthusiasm to bitter resentment. Being that this is the Internet, the majority of those who voiced their opinions apparently sided in the latter category, dubbing Silva –whom you may recall is a UFC champion — a “lazy coward,” a “bitch,” and a “pussy” whose “bitchassness” would hopefully lead to GSP “smashing his skull through the canvas.” The main issue seemed to be that Silva was calling out someone below him in weight, which therefore made him a bitch considering that Jon Jones would be totally willing to fight him if he were to move up to 205. In your humble opinions, Silva was basically being an O’Doyle and picking on the smallest kid in gym class, which is totally not cool behavior for a supposed pound-for-pound great.

That being the case, we’d just love to hear what you think of this. Last week, former MMA fighter Kit Cope declared that “MMA dudes are vaginas” compared to kickboxers in the above video, successfully drawing the attention and ire of any MMA fighter or fan dimwitted enough to take anything that Kit Cope says seriously. One of those people was CagePotato aficionado Sean McCorkle, a can crushing super heavyweight who spends more time arguing on the UG than any grown ass man ever should. McCorkle took it upon himself to defend the honor of the hundreds of thousands of tens of fighters who found themselves reeled in by the whimsical musings of Kit fucking Cope and posted a lengthy diatribe on his old stomping grounds while “bored on a Friday night.” As is often the case in Internet warfare (and therefore Sean McCorkle), the rant was little more than a series of personal attacks and gay jokes culminating in a futile challenge that has zero chance of coming to fruition in any country other than Japan.

Here’s just a little taste:

Hey, here’s a fun fact for you. You lost to Tiki Goshen. Let me repeat that. You lost to Tiki Goshen. In a fight. That means that if Tiki Goshen broke into your house, and you did not have a gun or other significant weapon readily available, Tiki Goshen would have little trouble subduing you, and rendering you completely helpless in a short amount of time. Then he would he proceed to take your belongings, and/or harm your family in any way he chooses.

Notably stacked for a regional card, Worldwide Mixed Martial Arts‘ debut event went down Saturday night in El Paso, Texas, and was highlighted by an upset in the main event and a handful of UFC vets smashing their way into the win column.

At this point, when Sean McCorkle gets booked against a smaller, doughier opponent with a journeyman’s record, we just assume that “Big Sexy” will bully his way to a first-round stoppage without much difficulty. But WMMA 1′s super-heavyweight main event didn’t go down like that. Though McCorkle (who tipped the scales at 312 pounds) came very close to finishing the 287-pound Brian Heden near the end of the first round, he blew his cardio wad in the process. With McCorkle barely able to lift his arms in round two, Heden was able to reverse a takedown, trap McCorkle’s left arm, and slug his way to a TKO victory. According to Danga, the announcer referred to the win as “the upset of the century.” (Somewhere, Gus Johnson is masturbating.) In a follow-up post on the UG, McCorkle lamented the cardio problems that have plagued his entire athletic career, credited Heden for showing up in “decent shape”* and vowed to retire if his cardio ever contributed to another loss.

The promotion put together the pretty slick looking promo above for its McCorkle vs. Heden: Fighting For A Better World event that will see a portion of the proceeds from the show donated to the Wounded Warriors project.

In the main and co-main event of the evening, former UFC heavyweight Sean McCorkle will take on a somewhat unknown fighter by the name of Brian Heden and onetime UFC welterweight contender Karo Parisyan will face King of the Cage, EliteXC and MFC vet Thomas “Wildman” Denny. The event will be available for rent via pay-per-view.

During the promo, clips were shown of Parisyan’s first fight — a bare-knuckle scrap he had in Mexico when he was 14 against a 20-something local champion.

Check out the entire impressive fight by young Karo and the complete WMMA fight card after the jump.

Bellator’s sixth season kicks off tonight at The Venue at Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, Indiana, featuring the featherweight championship bout between Joe Warren and Pat Curran, and the season 6 featherweight tournament quarterfinals — you can catch the action on MTV2 starting at 8 p.m./7 p.m. Central. But the season has already gotten off to a shaky start, as yesterday’s weigh-ins resulted in one embarrassing scale-failure, and a crime-related no-show.

Tournament participant Genair da Silva crushed the scales at 149 pounds for his bout against Alexandre “Popo” Bezerra. Silva was given two hours to cut down to the 146-pound limit, but was unable to make it happen, and Bellator replaced him on the spot with season 4 featherweight tournament semi-finalist Kenny Foster, who was slated to meet Bobby Reardanz on tonight’s preliminary card.

Sean McCorkle and Josh Shockley also initially missed weight, but nailed it on their second attempts; keep in mind that McCorkle will be fighting in the talent-rich 280-pound catchweight division.