(25-09-2015 10:52 AM)ohio_drg Wrote: Unfortunately I can completely relate to this thread. I was the unwanted one, being the oldest sucked. My little sister got everything, I literally got leftovers. The image I always think about when I see my mom is when she punched me in the face and claimed I was the worst mistake she ever made.

It took a long time for me to come to grips with this as well as the years of neglect and emotional scars that were inflicted. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I surrounded myself with people who did love and care for me and fixed myself before I even began to worry about her problems. She is less hostile to me now than she was when I was a child. She also acknowledges that she should have handled things differently. We will probably never have the 'normal' mother and son relationship but I am ok with that. She has to live with her regrets not me. I have put it all behind me and I do care about her. However, the sting of growing up that way has really helped me raise my own kids in a loving and supportive environment.

I agree about raising your kids in a better environment. Not to say that my kids and I haven't fought but still nothing like what my mom has done. And yep I'm the oldest. I can say she showed what not to do. Im better today as we are moving and I'm not too focused on it. But when we get moved and settled I'm sure it will get worse for a while especially since Thursday is my birthday and I'm sure there is be nothing from my side of the family .

(25-09-2015 10:52 AM)ohio_drg Wrote: Unfortunately I can completely relate to this thread. I was the unwanted one, being the oldest sucked. My little sister got everything, I literally got leftovers. The image I always think about when I see my mom is when she punched me in the face and claimed I was the worst mistake she ever made.

It took a long time for me to come to grips with this as well as the years of neglect and emotional scars that were inflicted. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I surrounded myself with people who did love and care for me and fixed myself before I even began to worry about her problems. She is less hostile to me now than she was when I was a child. She also acknowledges that she should have handled things differently. We will probably never have the 'normal' mother and son relationship but I am ok with that. She has to live with her regrets not me. I have put it all behind me and I do care about her. However, the sting of growing up that way has really helped me raise my own kids in a loving and supportive environment.

I agree about raising your kids in a better environment. Not to say that my kids and I haven't fought but still nothing like what my mom has done. And yep I'm the oldest. I can say she showed what not to do. Im better today as we are moving and I'm not too focused on it. But when we get moved and settled I'm sure it will get worse for a while especially since Thursday is my birthday and I'm sure there is be nothing from my side of the family .

(25-09-2015 10:52 AM)ohio_drg Wrote: Unfortunately I can completely relate to this thread. I was the unwanted one, being the oldest sucked. My little sister got everything, I literally got leftovers. The image I always think about when I see my mom is when she punched me in the face and claimed I was the worst mistake she ever made.

It took a long time for me to come to grips with this as well as the years of neglect and emotional scars that were inflicted. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I surrounded myself with people who did love and care for me and fixed myself before I even began to worry about her problems. She is less hostile to me now than she was when I was a child. She also acknowledges that she should have handled things differently. We will probably never have the 'normal' mother and son relationship but I am ok with that. She has to live with her regrets not me. I have put it all behind me and I do care about her. However, the sting of growing up that way has really helped me raise my own kids in a loving and supportive environment.

I agree about raising your kids in a better environment. Not to say that my kids and I haven't fought but still nothing like what my mom has done. And yep I'm the oldest. I can say she showed what not to do. Im better today as we are moving and I'm not too focused on it. But when we get moved and settled I'm sure it will get worse for a while especially since Thursday is my birthday and I'm sure there is be nothing from my side of the family .

Too bad you couldn't move far, far away from all this. Physically far away. It would help you put some emotional distance you and your mom.

I donno, I like living far away from family members and in-laws. It's made my marriage and my life so much more peaceful.

Really sorry you had to go through all that I know it's hard growing up with an abusive mother but you turned out great, you're a really nice and sweet person no thanks to her, I think if you made it this far without her then you can make it even farther without her. Do what makes you happy, not anyone else, they did not go through that experience, they are not living your life, you are so make it best for you, if that means cutting ties with your mother then go for it, it may hurt and it may upset you a bit but I think you will be happy in the end with all that extra stress out of your life.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze

Things weren't nearly this bad for me growing up, but I can certainly empathize.

I'm so sorry your mother took out her anger at her world on you. Like jbee said, you deserve respect. Jesus fucking Christ - to call your own child unwanted. Give me her address so I can go rip her fucking hair out.

Hold your head high, beautiful lady. You stopped the cycle of abuse for your family line.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman

Thanks so much I really mean that. It mean a lot to me. I did get a call from another aunt (5 girls in all that my grandma had) she found out what happened (okbso it could have been me) and said that she believes nr as she was there when she got pregnant with me. She didn't say anything else but I think it means that she knows something .

Anyway she said that she lived me no matter what and she always will. She wants me to come see her. I just might

(25-09-2015 08:00 PM)JDog554 Wrote: Really sorry you had to go through all that I know it's hard growing up with an abusive mother but you turned out great, you're a really nice and sweet person no thanks to her, I think if you made it this far without her then you can make it even farther without her. Do what makes you happy, not anyone else, they did not go through that experience, they are not living your life, you are so make it best for you, if that means cutting ties with your mother then go for it, it may hurt and it may upset you a bit but I think you will be happy in the end with all that extra stress out of your life.

Thanks you are so sweet. Hugs to you too. Im thinking if moving to fl. Not sure yet. We love it there and I have family from my grandmas side there that won't do this vindictive shit.

(25-09-2015 08:00 PM)JDog554 Wrote: Really sorry you had to go through all that I know it's hard growing up with an abusive mother but you turned out great, you're a really nice and sweet person no thanks to her, I think if you made it this far without her then you can make it even farther without her. Do what makes you happy, not anyone else, they did not go through that experience, they are not living your life, you are so make it best for you, if that means cutting ties with your mother then go for it, it may hurt and it may upset you a bit but I think you will be happy in the end with all that extra stress out of your life.

Thanks you are so sweet. Hugs to you too. Im thinking if moving to fl. Not sure yet. We love it there and I have family from my grandmas side there that won't do this vindictive shit.

Florida sounds nice

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze

(25-09-2015 11:28 PM)purpledaisies Wrote: Thanks you are so sweet. Hugs to you too. Im thinking if moving to fl. Not sure yet. We love it there and I have family from my grandmas side there that won't do this vindictive shit.

Florida sounds nice

My mate lives there. Everyone has a gun so everyone is polite. And there are many anti Obama bumper stickers. Oh and the place is full of rednecks.
At least where he is.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.