Everything’s Cool with Halle Berry And Friends

Yeah, that’s all. Everything’s just cool now. A week after Olivier Martinez allegedly threatened to kill Gabriel Aubry in Halle Berry’s driveway, and a week after a series of restraining orders, and everything’s fine. No big deal. Move along here, nothing to see.

We know that everything’s fine now because yesterday at the courthouse, Halle Berry’s lawyer walked outside holding a sign that said this:

“The parties have reached an amicable agreement. There will be no further statements regarding this matter.”

Gabriel’s lawyer was on board with this statement too, so I don’t guess there’s any chance that they murdered him in the bathroom or anything.

And, of course, there are no details. I can’t see how this whole thing ended up in a way that both parties agreed on, so do you guys have any ideas? Do you think there were more threats involved? Has anyone else been having nightmares about Olivier Martinez?

Caption this: Halle Berry with sperm donor that she is already so bored of hanging out with, just to prove to the masses (that witnessed her lustfully and grossly hanging after Nate Berkus’s sperm) that Gabriel wasn’t just a sperm donor.

I need to unload, Emily. I don’t know if you can access the episode, but I found it truly disgusting the way Berry and Oprah were treating Nate Berkus. It was almost predatory…. Like he was just some boy toy candy bitch. I know it was supposed to be in jest but if they had been guys and he had been a girl, this would not have gone down…

Also, there was an episode on Oprah where some poor woman, pregnant to boot, ended up having her legs completely mangled by a bread-kneading machine on the ship she was working on, due to some freak mishap, and when she was on the show, relating to Oprah how someone had saved her soul/life by reciting some sort of spiritual passages to her while they were horribly waiting for teams to untangle her legs, Oprah rudely interrupted her and introduced her to the helicopter paramedic who basically strapped her into a gurney, nothing more. Oprah so missed the point and I wish I had written to her right away on this. The disappointment on the young woman’s face after being introduced to the paramedic, the one who had not really got her through this ordeal, was so painfully palpable… It made me wonder if the big O had lost her touch.