Miss Bigfoot USA was stripped of her crown as she was found to have posed naked in numerous pictures that have been posted around the Internet. Donald Bigfoot Trump says of the photos, “Sexy!” yet felt that Miss Bigfoot having now been confirmed by the ODMafia as being pregnant, “But that is too much!”

Miss Bigfoot stated that she was tricked into posing for a photographer who stated he could make her the next Bigfoot Victoria Secrets model and she was 17 at the time. She stated that she truly regrets having been trick and seduced into the idea of posing in a suggestive manner.

We here do not see that as true repentance. Though she was underage and the photographer should have been prosecuted for child pornography, we see we are the real victims of this tragic story. We demand that Miss Bigfoot USA remove all the suggestive pictures on the Internet that others posted and only then will we consider whether her repentance is real or not. But there is no promise that we will honor her so called “repentance”.

You might recall that Miss Bigfoot USA almost lost the competition when she was asked whether gay Bigfoots should be able to marry. She stated that she felt that only true Bigfoot marriages were between male and female Bigfoots as that is how she was raised and believes God sees real marriage. This answer outraged Ingrid of Slice as she saw through the lie that gays should not be married. Ingrid pointed out that Miss Bigfoot USA did not go far enough with her statement and also give the four spiritual laws as well as quote passages about homosexuals going to hell.

We also confirmed that Bigfoot decided to call off the ongoing lawsuit that has hovered over us for over a year. We thank God and our lawyers for counter-suing… which is the true Christian way!

In the bible I read, which is the one dropped by God from the sky untouched by any man’s hands; it states God wants men to be men and women to be women.

There is no room in Heaven for effeminate men. Who cares if some man is genetically more on his mom’s side and may have a soft voice? And you fat men with those “breasts” might as well sit in a hot sauna as it will ready you for hell! Yes, God does not allow men with female breasts in Heaven.

Typical effeminate man with man breasts!

Now I am not talking about just homosexuals. You know you are already going to fry… I am talking about heterosexuals men who spend more time in front of a mirror than in the bible. Those hetero-metrosexuals like Rob Bell who have come to a point that we don’t even recognize what sex he is… so let’s just call him “gay” or “gay-loving” (that is close enough for me) and cosign him to gay hell!

While not gay, Rob Bell is a Metro-sexual!

Someone tried the whole “what about grace?” Well let me tell you, God has no grace for sinners. His grace is only for believers. We must repent to be reconciled. God does not just freely give his grace away to anyone! He is too righteous for that.

Good grief, it is bad enough we have protestant churches ordaining women and gays, what’s next? Metrosexuals?

Billy Graham producer said the film “Billy: The Early years of Billy Graham” made $50 million the first day. The producer suggests that the success of the movie was dependent up the action plot of karate and kung fu moves – most stunts of which were actually executed by Billy Graham himself. Most of the other special effects dramatizing his life were done via CGI since models, and miniatures were considered far too expensive to produce this real life action hero story.

The movie follows the life of Billy Graham as he karate chops bad guys and uses flying kicks when not in stadiums across the globe preaching the gospel. Audiences have been generally pleased with the release and there may likely be a sequel in the near future called – BILLY: Enter the Dragon and Beast.

J.J. Abrams has been rumoured to direct and produce the prequel however George Lucas and Spielburg are also perusing scripts.

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Dude! This is a satire site!

Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.