Prior Winners 2015

2015 Wordplay is now complete!
The winners for 2015 are listed first. Congratulations to Anne Del Campo for her creative and pithy first place winner. Congratulations to all the top 10!

We also had a word that came in high but decided that “Name Withheld” was not really a “winner”, so they get more of an Honorable mention. Also, I am SO sorry this took so long; major email problems when we were finalizing the winners; then too much travel for work.

Please see the 2016 page for new submissions.

Word

Definition

Name

Carnil

Celibacy

Anne DelCampo

Cornicate

to cock an ear

Tom Bracken

Invorce

The email received from a former spouse demanding an alimony payment of a certain amount by a certain date.

Dan Greenberg

Poltergist

The ghost of an idea

Doug Langmead

Audity

Something that sounds odd and has financial implications

Tony Dal Molin

Damnesia

Cursed forgetfulness

James Marshal Broder

subterfume

These e-cigarettes

Vali Jamal

carioki

singing along to the radio during a drive – often with the wrong words

Dave Easby

Umpure

An umpire who actually follows the rules

David Spharler

Bathroam

wandering aimlessly in search of a toilet

Bruce Dillon

Top Ten Honorable Mention:

qualifiction

typical result of required workplace training

Name withheld

WPM Invitasional

An etymillogical onslaughter of the English Language

Doug Langmead

Reiterdate

To repeatedly ask someone to agree to a meeting

Sara Craddock

Ductator

Someone who thinks you can fix anything with duct tape

Marla

Submission

Underwater religious conversion

Fred Breitner

Erue

The feeling of regret after sending an inappropriate email

Anne DelCampo

Twatter

When people chatter endlessly on Twitter or any other social media

Marla

Megalomanilac

Thinks he’s all powerful but just missing something

Glen V. Thompson

Viagrant

A homeless person who sleeps standing up

Doug Langmead

Bayrier

A seawall

Matthew B. Winkel

Underpaints

Primery colours

Doug Langmead

Countentious

Causing or likely to cause an argument over money

Marla

Dealiberate

The ability to distribute playing cards in a careful and unhurried manner

Sara Craddock

Ambiextrous

Possessing a third useful appendage

Fred Brietner

Incendairy

A toast with burnt milk

Doug Langmead

Grititude

Appearing to be thankful through clenched teeth

Sara Craddock

Greedom

The unbridled ability of large, well-connected corporate entities or thieir ilk to do as they please, usually to the detriment of the public at large

Steve Gallop

Isilate

The strategy employed by the UN Security Council to cut off the Islamic State’s connections to international financial and economic markets

Josh B

Reciprocat

The art of responding positively to a feline’s display of affection

Sara Craddock

Hatronage

Unwillingness to use or support a particular institution, custom, company or cause, no matter how reasonable and cogent the arguments to do so are.

Jade Walker

Pailiative

Describing a last ditch effort to extend life, by applying generous amounts of water to needy plants

Fred Breitner

Nagnify

To repeatedly exaggerate your spouse’s faults

Karen Hall

Investidate

To obtain background information about a potential suitor, particularly through the use of the Internet

Stacia Spaulding

Portential

When something has the potential for disaster

Suzanne

Accelebration

Rushing the preparations for a special event

Fred Breitner

Vommitments

Things one has promised to do, the thought of which makes one nauseous

Sarita Nair

Seccentric

The ability to become unconventional in an exremely short space of time

Sara Craddock

Bullship

The hype cruise companies tell you about their cruise

Dennis MacClanahan

Negligent

Men’s nightgown

Fred Breitner

Lothargio

A lazy lover

Jurie Schoeman

Abominable Snotman

A really bad head-cold

Tony Mowatt

Astrolomical

Extremely large or vast influence on one’s astrology

Mark Landes

Fastudious

Describing a quick learner

Fred Breitner

Abscondor

A bird that’s flown

Doug Langmead

Sniege

The act of not letting a sneeze go

Jerry Bonson

Relax

To revisit Los Angeles

Jack Cohen

Fryday

The day all potatoes dread

Andrew Herden

Accidance

Recovery of balance, especially on black ice

Fred Breitner

Brayzen

An excessively impudent ass

Doug Glant

Mistlehoe

A woman who will kiss absolutely anybody under the mistletoe

Donna Ping

Dearogatory

The art of appearing to be affectionate whilst being critical

Sara Craddock

Textosterone

What makes men so predictable.

Doug Langmead

Peticure

When you take your dog to the vet to get it’s nails clipped

Dennis McLanahan

Pestivity

A picnic

Anne DelCampo

Legato ad absurdum

The theramin

Wayne Merry

Genderaters

Chromosomes

Doug Langmead

Nonpulsed

Deceased

Daniel Martin

Spunoza

Previous philosophical discussion

Tony Mowatt

Astrophy

Loss of muscle mass due to preoccupation with stargazing

Jason Conklin

Insumnia

Inability to sleep due to an audit

Marco van de Sluis

Siccups

When a person’s error-ridden social media post is later quoted by an editor who has the patience to mark each error with a “(sic)”, one would say that the original poster had the siccups.

Rebecca Oswald

Kneecape

Pantaloons

Doug Langmead

Acronymonius

That angry, bitter feeling one gets when being subjected to relentless us of acronyms that have zero meangin to the listener but have special or “inside” conduits of meangin that the speaker can only understand or process will leaving the listener unintentionally (in most cases) in the dark

Mark Hanson

Space tome continuum

The infinite worlds created by writers

Marco van de Sluis

Convidant

An inside connection with the nuns

Eben Robinson

Fignition

A false start

Doug Langmead

Pulpitation

A state of agitation that develops when talking to someone with fruit fibers between their teeth.

Alan Largue

Femdamentalism

A narrow interpretation of feminism that regards men as superfluous or irrelevant.

Erick Richter

Cleaverness

The Beaver’s sharp wit

David Spharler

Clarifiction

Explaining/Rationalizing/Legitimizing a topic all parties privately acknowledge as untrue or fallacious

Name Withheld

Chorduroy

The harmonious sound produced by the thigh sections of velvet-ribbed pants when walking.

Fiona Leally

Lascar

An alliterative Rascal

Doug Langmead

Regalitarian

Arising from the belief in the equality of all persons, providing they are from “royal” lineage.

Anne DelCamp

Factorum

Drunken handyman

David Spharler

Heltic

When “hectic” is not a strong enough word.

Dennis McClanahan

Primotive

best Cro-Magnon

David Spharler

Precrastination

Not even thinking about starting to do something

Anne DelCampo

Knothing

Tied up in nots

Doug Langmead

Auramatic

A person who has an aura surrounding him

Vali Jamal

Kitschen

A really ugly kitchen

Eric Meadows

Fratulence

Gas passed at a college kegger

Charles Manley

Gangst

Fear of “the hood”

Anne DelCampo

Cutelass

A curvaceous broadsword

Doug Langmead

Flib

To lie about one’s weight (flab + fib)

Laurel Mancini

Prudity

Your uptightness is showing

Jim Hanson

Idioptic

Someone so ignorant it causes you not to see straight

Laurel Mancini

Achilles Keel

Dry-rot in a pirates wooden leg

Doug Langmead

Scorry

An apology made with hope to score points towards the next conflict, or to intentionally gain favor with the recipient without true remorse.

Angela Harrison

Exfoliage

The esthetic effect Agent Orange has on trees

Greg Murphy

Extravagrants

Excessive money given to ridiculous projects.

Laurel Mancini

Dikapedia

A person you are chatting with who keeps citing facts about topics that you care nothing about, nor which you are presently discussing.

Tarrabeth Rocco

Moanlougue

A long, one-sided conversation by a depressed person.

Kenneth Rhodes

Hypenosis

The trance-like state into which one descends after watching too many political campaign ads.

Rick Montgomery

Leotard

Spotty Pantyhose

Doug Langmead

Offalicious

Diligently making your crap everyone’s crap (offal + officious)

Laurel Mancini

Tichnology

That twitch you get when your computer is not working

Marla

Diarya

A condition characterized by the inability to stop writing crap in one’s journal

Matthew B. Winkel

Statisfy

Provide someone with abundant statistical data to the point they are convinced of something

Holly Varley

Sabotrage

Getting screwed by the exchange rate

Albhy Galuten

Cafartic

The relieved feeling you get after passing wind

Danny Youlden

Dramastic

Something that is both a drama and is drastic at the same time. Usually incites panic

Sam Stevens

Snockers

The breasts of a drunken woman

Edward Brode

Eatrocity

A violently gluttonous act

Jeff Jackson

Podiatryst

An illicit foot massage

Bo Scarborough

Engaugement

Estimating how long you think a totally incompatible couple will stay together after the wedding

A Boodoosingh

Avacadro’s Number

The measure of deliciousness in one guacamole

Noah Dorsky

Shelfie

Someone who takes (and posts on social media) tons of pictures of home improvement projects

Marla

Understandung

Clear awareness that you’ve stood in dog poop

Glen V. Thompson

Celebraty

A badly behaved movie star

Marla

Spontificate

Spontaneously express one’s opinion in a dogmatic way, usually BS

Vali Jamal

Dreams of Glandeur

Breast implants

Rob Jensik

Premiscuous

When you are loose ahead of your time

Glen V. Thompson

Pundamentals

The basic tenets of joke telling

Marla

Blaboratory

Where speach pathologists work

Edward Brode

Dognut

A donut that has become stale and is now only fit for consumption by a dog.

Sam Stevens

Icesofacia

When you try to get the last little bit of of drink out of your glass and the ice stuck at the bottom lets go, careens down the side of your glass and hits your face

Name withheld

Megraine

Someone who gives everyone else a headached by constantly talking about themselves

Marla

Ambivalet

A ho-hum factotum, unconcierged about his duties

Doug Langmead

Investigation

Experimental pharmaceutical

Matthew B Winkel

Infandel

A non-believer who drinks wine

Bo Scarbrough

Destinesia

When one walks to another room with a purpose in mind and, upon entering the room, forgets what that purpose was.

Daniel C. Shaw

Relucktant

Hesitant to keep gambling after winning a big jackpot.

Matthew B. Winkel

Barberian

The guy savages go to see when they want to get a haircut.

Bruce Dillon

Stragedy

A game plan which results in a loss

Name Withheld

Torpido

A floating mine

Doug Langmead

Naggravation

The feeling you get when your passenger hassles you while giving you directions while you are driving.

Michael Bennett

Stupiodic

Lacks intelligent decision making

Roy Hiroto

Screenpray

Script for a Biblical epic movie

Jeff Jackson

Heffervescence

The aura that overhwhelms you the moment you step into a dairy barn.

Bruce Dillon

Squarea

A rectangular region having four congruent sides

Matthew B. Winkel

Nyeti

The Abominable No-man

Doug Langmead

Farcebook

Where people go and post “inspirationals” about being good to everyone which you know they don’t abide by

Vali Jamal

Iditabrod

The long race home over open country after having a one-night stand

Name Withheld

Hoebo

A homeless hooker

Bo Scarbrough

Apparitious

Someone or something having an ephemeral or ghost-like appearance or quality

Jacob Galuten

Pomegranite

The exotic fruit that looked so good at the store but dessicates to rock in your refrigerator

June Gaishin

Nanofinity

The interval of time between the moment when your dropped hammer impacts your big toe and the first evidence of the enormous pain that is to follow.

Mark Beran

Relaxative

When you confused the mineral oil for the vodka!

Bo Scarbrough

Broncodilator

An illegal steroid for wild horses

Matthew B. Winkel

Idemise

Assign priorities on a bucket list

Doug Langmead

Holastic

Synthetic material used in sphincter muscle replacements

Stanley Kimmel

Slowbber

Lazy drooling

Jeff Jackson

Pushauvinist

Any mail who acts like a chauvinist around his mates until his wife turns up.

Andrew Mark Ayliffe

taxicrab

The condition of becoming embittered with humanity after too much interaction witht the general public as a hack driver

Noah Dorsky

dumbrella

the stupid, cheap umbrella you have to purchase because you have twelve at home but not one with you when it starts to rain

Name Withheld

doorpedo

A cat that one is trying desperately to prevent from getting outside

Paul Nienaber

feng shuit

when rearranging the furniture just doesn’t work at all

Tom Ross

petrofied

the socio-political condition of being stuck in the distant past if one’s economy is based primarily on oil

Noah Dorsky

grayzers

Retirees who attend annual shareholder meetings soley for free food.

name withheld

celerities

people whose suddent rise to fame is exceeded only by their meteoric fall into obscurity

John Fasanello

Moot Camp

training that is irrelevant by the time it’s finished

Tom Ross

funancier

the party that pays for the entertainment of another (see also “parent” or “boyfriend”)

Noah Dorsky

turbulience

instigating an animated conversation with a fellow passenger or stewardess to mask the rictus of fear that descents the moment the “fasten seat belts” announcement is made.

Though funny, a few of these submissions don't qualify under the original rules: add, remove, or change one letter. In that restriction lies the challenge–and, in my opinion, much of the humor. Maybe submissions should include the original word from which they were derived, just to make sure they qualify?

HI Dan – thanks for the idea. I may change the submission form to reflect this next year as sometimes I am truly stumped on what the original word might be. For the most part, I still post words anyway since it’s all in fun. For the ‘contest’ at the end of the year, we only use the words that qualify, not all the others you see posted. For instance, we do not use the two-part words or phrases, nor do we use words with multiple changes (or we certainly try not to). The one thing we try to avoid is a lot of words with explicit sexual connotation – if we did that, the site would soon be overrun, as apparently it’s really easy to make up LOTs of new words on that topic;)
Smiles:) Elaine

Hi Frank – we don’t have the second part on the site, which is primarily just a fun hobby. I sometimes post words (new meanings), but usually don’t since then I get comments telling me that it’s not a new word. This is a great idea, though, and I think I’ll look into how it might be done for the 2016 season. Smiles :)

HI Vali – thanks for the idea. Unfortunately, this site is just a hobby and so we keep the technology behind it pretty simple. We don’t have that capability without a total rewrite, which we may consider in the future (like when I retire). Smiles:)