What happens when work friendships become so comfortable they become a clique? It can impact your growth, your credibility and the growth of your organization. How do you know when your comfort zone is holding you and your organization back?

When you don’t socialize with anyone else.

When you get all of your information from the same handful of people.

When you make decisions for many based on the need to please those you hang with.

When your job is to encourage others to leave their comfort zone and you consistently model that you can’t or won’t.

When the group you’re hanging out with becomes more focused on gossip, and tearing others down than on their own growth or the growth of their team.

When people begin to question your leadership courage and ability.

When people perceive that your comfort is more important than their needs or the growth of the organization… Leadership quakes.

Leadership is not about you or your comfort.

Leadership is about connecting.

Leadership is knowing the people that work for you and knowing your customer.

Leadership is understanding their needs.

Leadership is about doing uncomfortable things for the good of those you serve.

Leadership is about challenging the status quo.

Leadership is about removing obstacles.

Leadership is about your ability to lead others through fire to accomplish a mission together.

A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent. In the end, leaders are much like eagles…they don’t flock; you find them one at a time.

If you find yourself flocking to your comfort zone:

Take some time and evaluate how that zone is impacting your growth and your credibility.

And then be intentional about how you will engage with others.

If you see someone else flocking and are considering visiting with them here’s an opportunity for you to learn from a mistake that I made: Several years ago I witnessed a group of people that were struggling to leave their comfort zone to the point that a clique was forming and none of them appeared to see how it was impacting their leadership or the organization.

I watched and struggled with what I saw, deeply believing it was dangerous for them and for the organization.

I debated about their openness to feedback.

In the midst of my debating a door opened in a one on one conversation.

However, instead of bringing a spirit of understanding to the group. Judgmental words poured from my mouth to one person.

When the interpretation of my words reached the rest of the group, they were angry and defensive.

In the long run some of that group moved away from that comfort zone and grew.

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YOU ARE INVITED: To add your comments and to share your professional, personal and faith-based stories. Diverse opinions, compassion, and inspiration are welcome! (I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.)

Thanks LaRae! I love your quote! “Leaders often won’t step out of their comfort zone because of their insecurity. They are afraid to fail, and they are afraid to have others see them fail. And it is very dangerous, for both the leader and the team they lead…it usually leads to broken relationships.”

What a wonderful post, Chery and one that holds true in many workplaces. I think leaders who are secure in their own boots and feel that their true role as a leader is to serve and help others grow, are more able to speak out and stand up for their core values.

Too often, cliques become silos and fail to connect with others in a productive way. The result is only defending the needs of the clique.

What a wonderful post Chery, thanks for sharing it! I had a difficult situation a few years ago with a direct report who had developed a comfort zone around working out at lunch. This was very difficult for me because, first, I am a bodybuilder and, second, I whole-heartedly feel that fitness helps us lead effectively. However, the situation had grown into a bit of a problem because, many times, it was getting in the way of our ability to help our customers at critical times. This definitely developed into a comfort zone that was affecting our team.

The most tricky issue was that this individual was a total team player! She was there for others, very humble and very dedicated. It was the issue of how this comfort zone prevented our customers and employees to reach her when issues arose during the exercise times she blocked on her calendar.

Having this post would have been very helpful in coaching her through the situation from the point of view of how a great thing can become a comfort zone that affects the team.

I am actually working on a podcast about leading beyond our comfort zone and would love to have you join me, if you are interested. Let me know, and, again, Thanks so much for sharing this!

When we gain the courage to step out of our comfort zones and stand up for what we believe, we take our leadership to a meaningful level. It can be difficult going against the tide but always well worth it when we say what we need to say and do what we need to do.

Conference question and answer sessions thrive or die based on the facilitators ability to be professional, prepared and perky! Chery Gegelman does an excellent job of using all three qualities to put the audience at ease, engage them in meaningful dialogue while keeping the conversation on topic!

Chery went above and beyond for us and our students. Her presentation captivated our students and teachers. (While sharing personal experiences and current information about life in Saudi Arabia, she emphasized critical life skills. Which motivated them to consider the limits of their comfort zones, think critically, solve problems and recognize the humanity of others.) Chery is a pleasure to work with and a great facilitator. I give her my highest endorsement.

Chery is a big picture, strategic thinker who understands the importance of relationships in making things happen. Her work with our Workforce Investment Board has demonstrated that once she has a vision, she can identify what needs to be done and motivate others to work as a team. Chery is a natural and skilled leader whom others are happy to follow.

If there is one person who knows how to work a crowd, it’s Chery!
I have had the honor of working with Chery on two leadership events that consisted of panel discussions and Chery served as the wonderful facilitator. Not only was she professional, well-spoken and poised, but her connection with the audience members was outstanding!
I received many compliments from guests after the event about how much they enjoyed her!

Chery is a smart, kind, brilliant, clever, charismatic, and adaptive business professional.
She is a true servant leader with unwavering integrity and ethics.
Chery is a progressive and thought-provoking consultant that works collaboratively to grow and guide people, empowering them to practice compassionate accountability; an essential element in competitive sustainability.

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About Chery Gegelman

Hi! I’m Chery,
I deeply believe that:
• Anyone can be a leader.
• Everyone knows something that the rest of us don’t.
• We all need to leave our workplaces, communities, nation and world – better than we found them.
Those beliefs caused me to:
1. Build bridges of communication and understanding between people in different positions, organizations, races, religions, and cultures.
2. Instigate change from every position I’ve ever had and continually provided opportunities to lead system-wide change from the middle and the edge of organizations.
Today I am The Founder of Giana Consulting, listed as a Great Leadership Speaker by Inc., write a recognized leadership blog and have co-authored two leadership books.

Speaking

In her keynotes and workshops, Chery Gegelman takes WILDLY DIVERSE AUDIENCES on Adventures that are filled with curiosity, learning and growth.
Her approach makes it possible for people to face hard issues and work through them in productive ways.
Your audience will know they matter. (And so do the people next to them!)
They’ll be reminded how important their knowledge, experience and perspectives are – and have new reasons to seek out the knowledge, experience and perspectives of others.
And they’ll leave with increased energy, new strategies and the desire to make a greater difference.