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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

This is my 4th year working in college ministry.
Therefore, I know everything. Just kidding. Therefore, this is the first time I have walked all the way through college
with a class of girls.

Every week
for the last 4 years, we have sat on UT campus, or in my living room, studying
scripture and sharing life together.

I have washed 39,485 water cups. We have eaten our weight in
Nutella and hummus.

Average number of cups used after Small Group. Notice our fine china.

We have cried a lot. Truthfully, tears is the 17th
member of our small group. And tears usually comes in waterfall formation – one
girl starts to cry and then we all cry. Most of the time after we cry we get really silly. Like stupid silly. Like ‘I
hope no one is recording us right now’ silly. Then I usually say something inappropriate and they love it.

These women have blessed me more than I have blessed them.

Watching them graduate in May was much harder than I
expected. I was a wreck. Crying at all the “lasts”. The last small group was
brutal. But, I have to believe what I told them: “This is just the end of the
beginning of knowing each other forever.”

A few small groups before the brutal emotional last small
group, I asked them what advice they would give to an incoming college
freshmen. In other words, if they could rewind the clock and talk to their
terrified freshman self, what would they say? Words and thoughts immediately
swirled around the room, and I could barely keep my pen writing fast enough.

Reading over their list, I see the footprints of wise women
who have had many victories and failures these last 4 years. Women that will
make incredible wives and mothers. Women I am proud to call my friends.

Some things they learned in our small group, but most just
from living and walking with the Lord.

The funny thing is that almost all their advice applies to
my life, my mother’s life, and every woman’s life. I love that about God. He is
teaching us the same truths over and over and driving them deeper into our
stubborn souls.

So here it is…I picked a nice round number…

33 Things Every
Christian College Freshman Should Know:

1.Study 1.5 hours per day, but no more than 3
hours.

2.Exercise and take care of yourself.

3.Everything in moderation (sleep, food, TV).

4.Live with a few people and DO NOT isolate
yourself.

5.Time is never wasted in community with other
people.

6.You’re never going to know everyone, so don’t
try.

7.Understand friendships take time to build.

8.You’re never alone in your feelings.

9.Don’t take yourself too seriously.

10.Busyness
isn’t good or impressive.

11.Designate
time to be in the word.

12.Go
to church every Sunday.

13.Make
time to pray – like in the car or walking to class.

14.You’re
already a success in God’s eyes, you are allowed to fail and you will at some
things.

15.Stop
comparing.

16.Don’t
feel like you have to do it all.

17.Practice
being thankful.

Elena's Page of Thankfulness from Small Group

18.Everything
you are sure of will probably change, so hold them loosely (friends, major,
ect).

19.Don’t
go home too much.

20.People
do care, so let them in. Allow yourself to receive love from people.

21.Don’t
have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Enjoy what God is doing where you are in the
present moment.

22.Pray
protection over your friendships. Confront and give grace. Have no expectations,
but also great hope for spiritual friendships.

23.There
will be seasons. Believe in the hard seasons that God is good. Your
circumstances will change and you will be ok.

24.Don’t
assume people view you the way you view yourself, especially in the times you
feel least like yourself.

25.Don’t
worry how you will handle things in the future. God will give you the strength at
that time.

26.Challenge
people and open yourself up to be challenged.

27.Be
quick to apologize without excuses.

28.Rest
more – not just sleep, but rest spiritually by getting alone with God.

Chillin at the lake at the busiest time of the semester. Boom.

29.Think
how to bless your family, not just how they can bless you.

30.When
you try to please people, you’re not pleasing God. Remember, people were angry
with Jesus all the time.

31.Tap
into each other’s gifts and speak those gifts into people.

32.Speak
lies you are believing aloud, and it will diminish their power in your life.

33.Don’t
peg other people. Be open to friendships with people that are different than
you.

Me & Casey. An unlikely friendship. JK Casey! ;)

That’s it. You don’t need to know anything else in college! You
don’t even need a degree! Don’t tell your parents I said that.

Monday, June 18, 2012

The Holy Spirit has always been very mysterious to me. Like
something pulled straight out of a Harry Potter book. Because think about it…

The Father is in heaven.

Jesus lived on earth, and now is seated next to the Father
in heaven.

But, the Holy Spirit is here with us and in us NOW.

What?

I think it’s one of the most fascinating things about God –
He is with us and in us in this very moment.

Side note: This makes the Holy Spirit one of those parts of
Christianity that you can’t talk about to random people and sound normal. I
feel like people look at you like you might start speaking in tongues at any
moment. Which is funny, because in a lot of ways it’s the most tangible way we
experience God. Maybe we’re just not giving the Holy Spirit enough credit.

The Holy Spirit is introduced immediately in the Bible. Out
of 31,103 verses (thanks Google) the Holy Spirit enters the scene in verse 2.

Now the earth was
formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit
of God was hovering over the waters. (Genesis 1:2)

Hovering. What do you think of when you hear hovering?

Hovercrafts.

Hovering over my husbands shoulder (“Ashley, stop
hovering.”)

But, mostly, I think anticipation. If someone is hovering,
something is about to happen. There is a move about to be made.

So, the Holy Spirit was there, at creation…hovering. He was
waiting and anticipating because the most creative act in the history of the
world was about to happen.

Awesome.

But what else? What is the Holy Spirit like? What is He
responsible for in our lives?

Saturday, June 16, 2012

I love thinking about the Father and His love for me. The desire for a loving father is deeply rooted in all of us, regardless of what our earthly fathers are like. I see it bubble up in myself as I read each of the scriptures that describe the Father. Many of his attributes are things I would have never chosen, but desperately need (loving disciplinarian). Others are so obvious and simple that I am surprised by the weight they hold in my life (He knows what I need).

Friday, June 15, 2012

I am a researcher by nature (nerd alert). I often find myself asking a
question and then diving into scripture, books, or (let’s be real) my magical
iPhone to find the answer. Often I don’t find the answer, or the answer is one
of those shades of gray answers that involves faith and long deep breaths.

But, sometimes God is gracious and He answers me.

Like when I asked, “Who are Jesus, the Father, and the Holy
Spirit to us?”

They are all one God, but they must have unique purposes.
Otherwise, what’s the point? And I wanted to know what each of their purposes
meant for me.

So, this is a three-part post on what I found. We’ll start
with Jesus. The Man.

Here's how this is going to work.

I just thought of the movie Tommy Boy when he yells out, "Listen up! This will only take a second!" and everyone thinks he's robbing the bank. Amazing.

And we're back. Like I said, here's the deal:

First the scripture, then a basic explanation in my own
words including who Jesus is to us. Got it?

He’s the Author (the creator) of our faith and the perfector
who brings all things through to completion. He always finishes what He
started. <----A quality I admire. Not that I don't also have that quality.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Every single one of these nuggets was either taught to me
through a mentor that I love or through my own miserable, horrifying,
go-hide-in-a-hole-now-Ashley failures. Those are THE best.

I think they also apply to anyone trying to spiritually lead
a group or individuals.

Here we go…

1. Don't make walking with Jesus any more complicated than it is for
yourself or your students. At the end of the day: read the Bible; pray;
surround yourself with people who know Him better than you and a few who don't
know Him well and a few who don't know Him at all. Seek to plumb the depth of
understanding Him -- not because you have to but because He fascinates you. And
when He doesn't fascinate you -- don't worry....He isn't that put out and He's
always fascinated by YOU!!!

(After I took
my current college ministry job, I panicked a little and emailed a mentor and
friend, Cheryl Fletcher. This is what she told me.)

2. Choose 12 or so people and focus on them. Jesus was the MESSIAH
and used just 12 men to change the world. Don’t try to be everybody’s
everything. It’s ok to disappoint people. Jesus did because He always had His
focus on the greater goal.

3. Try something new every year. Never stop taking risks and
evolving. It’s ok to fail. IT’S OK TO FAIL!

4. Trust the word of God fully. Earn the right to be heard,
but never hesitate to share the Word or the Gospel. It is alive, active, and
more powerful than any words we can say. I think when I get to heaven I will
wish I’d taken more risks in this area.

5. Have a plan and then be willing to throw it out at any
minute because the Spirit says so.

6. In discipling and leading small groups, challenge people
and set expectations early. (Be on time, be prepared, memorize scripture, ect.)
Then administer grace over and over. You can’t control people. We are only
responsible for being faithful and then trusting the Lord. Being a control
freak is either a lack of faith in God, or an identity issue of who we are in
Christ. So, be faithful, but always give grace when people don’t follow your
plan.

7. Your girls don’t need
another friend, they need a leader. Sure, you will listen to their struggles,
encourage them continuously, and hopefully become life-long friends. But, what
they need is a leader. So be
confident and lead them! Be an adult. Show them Jesus. Speak truth into their
lives. And always believe in them when they don’t. Each year, at our very first
meeting, I tell my new freshmen small group, “Look around because these people
are your new best friends.” You can imagine the reactions, but the point is I
am injecting them with belief.

8. Guard your marriage, friendships, and your time with
Jesus. Take your to-do list and
eliminate 25% of it. You know, the “I’m never ever going to do that realistically
but it sure does sound nice” things. We are loved daughters of the King, but we
are tempted to act like slaves who need to produce to earn our keep.

9. Know that you will fail as
much as you will succeed. You must
trust the work of the Holy Spirit. There are many times when I finish leading a
Bible study and I think it was an utter failure. Then someone tells me God
spoke to them through it. Who are we to judge what God is doing? Be faithful in
your studies, pray, trust the Holy Spirit is moving, and then don’t beat
yourself up when things go south temporarily.

10. Find other ways, outside of yourself to skin the cat. Utilize
people. You don’t have to be the leader of everything. Determine what your
gifts are (spiritual and natural) and then multiply yourself by equipping and
training people. Let it go and allow others to take over. Even if they don’t do
it just how you would have.

Are there any others you have learned through ministering to
others? Let me learn from your failures! Come on, it’s only fair.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Yesterday was my 29th birthday, and I
felt really loved. So, I am feeling especially thankful today, and I think that
is the perfect time to revisit this place.

I love thankful people - they are so
easy to be with. Unfortunately, complaining seems so much more natural, doesn’t
it? But, when I turn from my grumpy side and focus on the reality that I have an unlimited amount of things to be thankful for, I end up feeling...free? happy? giggly even? I'm not sure how to describe it, but in my mind it looks like this:

Yup that's it!

I know God enjoys thankful people too, because he talks about thankfulness all the time.

Here’s one example…

Put
on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts,
kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if
one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has
forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which
binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule
in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

(Colossians
3:12-15)

I
love when God makes things simple for me. I need more simple in my life.
Thankfulness gets its very own sentence in this passage. And it just says, “Be
thankful.” No need to think it
over, just do it.

I
wrote down a long list of things I am thankful for this morning, but here are
10:

The closeness and comfort
level I have with my community group

My health and feeling good again

Micah – this has been our
best year of marriage yet

My friend Kambly is getting
married this weekend

Free time to do things that I
love - like cook and read

We have a contract on a
house to buy

Lots of birthday calls, texts, and facebook messages from
all the people I love

Three of my very best
friends (Sarah, Allison, Paige) got married this year and I have been praying
for their future husbands for a long time

Summer fun in Austin

A delicious sushi birthday
dinner last night at Uchi with Micah (thankful both that we could afford to go
there and that Micah was willing to eat sushi)