Solomon: What's with this Cowher love affair?

Commentary

Published 6:30 am, Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Bill Cowher, who retired in 2006 after winning the Super Bowl the previous season, is interested in a return to coaching.

Bill Cowher, who retired in 2006 after winning the Super Bowl the previous season, is interested in a return to coaching.

Photo: ELAINE THOMPSON, AP

Solomon: What's with this Cowher love affair?

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Not since Quasimodo lusted after Esmeralda has there been a more passionate yet unconsummated love affair than the growing infatuation between a number of Texans fans (and dreamy-eyed media) and former Steelers coach Bill Cowher.

Love is a many-splintered thing.

It has become so extreme that linebacker Brian Cushing on Monday was asked a nutty question about his thoughts on playing in Cowher’s defense.

Seriously?

The Texans still have a head coach, right? Or did I miss that news conference?

The Texans are 5-9 and on their way to their ninth consecutive playoff-free January and another losing season — that’s eight of nine, if you track such things — but as far as I know, Bob McNair has not said he is looking for a new head coach.

When told word leaked over the weekend that Cowher, who retired after winning the Super Bowl in 2006, is interested in a return to coaching and lists Houston as one of the top three teams he would like to coach, current Texans head coach Gary Kubiak took the high road.

“Well, he’s a damn good coach,” Kubiak said Monday afternoon. “I can’t do nothing about what he says.”

He could say Cowher could kiss his you-know-what, or at least kiss his Super Bowl rings — he won three of them as an assistant. But Kubiak doesn’t have any trophies as a head coach, and his five-year run with the Texans has produced only one winning season and no playoff berth.

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So Kubiak can’t exactly brag right now. Cowher has a better resume than Kubiak, and it is time for the Texans to make a change at the head-coaching position. That is beside the point.

Act of desperation?

There is an unwritten rule that coaches, at least coaches with class, do not campaign for jobs that belong to other coaches.

“I don’t have a coaching handbook that has a code,” Kubiak said.

Oh, he knows the code. Kubiak doesn’t have to follow the life blueprint of The Wire to know that, as Bunk Moreland said, “A man must have a code.”

Kubiak has to be burning inside that someone has the nerve to put out word that Cowher covets a job that belongs to Kubiak.

Cowher might be thinking that he isn’t drawing the publicity that Jon Gruden — another former Super Bowl-winning coach, who is doing the broadcasting thing — has garnered, so he feels the need to stoke the fire.

According to the ESPN report, Cowher puts the New York Giants atop his desirable list, ahead of the Miami Dolphins and the Texans. (Man, the Texans can’t even come in first on this list.)

Even after his team’s historic meltdown against the Eagles on Sunday at East Rutherford, N.J., Giants co-owner John Mara did some serious eye-rolling at the report.

“That’s ridiculous,” Mara told the New York Daily News. “That is ridiculous. Are we down to that? We were writing Bill Cowher stories two months ago, and now we are going to write them again. That’s ridiculous.”

For ridiculous, Mara should listen to Houston sports-talk radio or read some local Internet posts.

McNair should weigh in

Perhaps McNair should do a Mara and issue a statement. He could say that he has a head coach and isn’t looking for one — Cowher or otherwise. Or he could be real cold and leak info that the Texans might be interested in Cowher as a defensive coordinator.

Fans and media, who are swooning over the idea that such a coach possibly would overlook that hump in the Texans’ back, should be told that this type of multi-million-dollar decision will not come down to crazies on the radio and in blog commentary promoting it as a good idea.

Cowher spreading or allowing word to be spread that he is interested in certain jobs is out of bounds. There are worse things a coach could do, but if Cowher really wants the Houston job, he should wait until there is an opening and fill out an application. Certainly, McNair would grant him an interview.

Not to mention, recycling might be good for the environment, but it hasn’t proved to be that valuable in football coaching.

There is a first for almost everything, but no Super Bowl-winning coach has ever sat out a few years and returned to win another Super Bowl.

Do you want buzz, or do you want to win a Super Bowl?

Super Bowl no guarantee

It took Cowher 14 seasons to win his first Super Bowl. Should we presume he will win one in less time his second time around? Should we presume he would win one at all?