You can read the entire text at the NAIS blog. This is such an important topic, and I would welcome feedback and discussion. Please leave a comment below, or visit the NAIS blog and leave a comment there. Below are two short excerpts.

“We know from decades of research that children and adolescents raised by adults who educate and converse with them about sexuality grow up in healthier ways than their peers. For example, while common nonsense might hold that “knowing leads to doing” or some other unwanted effect, just the opposite is true: Kids with this kind of guidance and support significantly postpone involvement in sexual behaviors as they mature. Keeping them in the dark, in other words, is the real danger here.”

‘Bottom line: The kind of readiness young children need to learn about their origins — or, really, about any other topic related to sexuality — is primarily cognitive readiness, notemotional readiness, as manyadults, out of their own anxieties, project it to be.”

I was on NPR’s All Things Considered Sunday this evening (April 28), discussing teen sexuality and educating teens after Steubenville. The program segment is Teen Sexual Assault: Where Does the Conversation Start? Here is the link to the program overview and to the full recording (11:30).

I will be participating in the program on Gender and Sexual Diversity at the Lowell School, Washington DC, on April 23, 2013, at 7:00 pm. Also on the panel with me will be Dr. Edgardo Menvielle, of George Washington University and Children’s National Medical Center; and Kisha Webster, Associate Director of Welcoming Schools (HRC). There will be time for questions and answers.From the program announcement:

Whether we talk about it or not, gender and sexuality are part of our everyday lives—from Happy Meals and fairy tales to news about same-sex marriage. Children are constantly absorbing and interpreting the subtle messages around them and adults need to help them decode those messages. Learn how parents and schools can partner to support children’s gender and sexual identity development and their respect for one another.

Among the questions we expect to discuss are:

How do the media messages that surround my child impact their identity development?

What is the difference between gender expression and gender identity?

Should I be talking top my young child about sexuality diversity? If so, how?

The program again is presented by the Lowell School, Washington DC. It is possible (though not necessary) to register in advance: 202-577-2000 or parented@lowellschool.org. Website.

The high profile events in Steubenville, Ohio, involving the rape of a drunken sixteen year old girl by two fellow high school students, have the potential to shine a broad swath of light on “acquaintance rape” in America. My students and I have been taking the complexities apart in classroom discussions since the guilty verdict was announced. Here are some of the issues we’ve discussed. They also make for great discussion topics at home.

The association between alcohol use, poor judgment, and dangerous activity

The lack of adequate adult supervision when teenagers socialize

The unbridled use of technology in the hands of young people, and its power to ruin or change young lives forever

“Jock Culture” and the entitled belief that one is special and above the rules

The complicity of adults in facilitating and even covering up events that encourage sexual assault

The lack of empathy among perpetrators and bystanders toward another fellow human being

If the judge in the case has his way, there will be a continuing investigation into several of these elements–many students and adults in the community are involved as witnesses or facilitators of the events surrounding the rapes–that will keep these important issues front and center in the news. Let’s hope so.

It’s way past time to take acquaintance rape, its multiple causes, and its aftermath seriously.

I will be appearing on a panel at the Leading Edge Education Summit , sponsored by St. Anne’s School of Annapolis, Maryland, Thursday, April 11 at 7 p.m. Joining me on the panel will be Dr. JoAnn Deak and Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair. We will hold a discussion on research-based strategies for raising and educating intellectually, socially and emotionally healthy children. There will be time for questions from the audience, and I will be signing copies of my books. Sign up here. Join us. Debbie

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The Harvey Weinstein Challenge: Combating Sexual Harassment In and Out of School
I encourage you to read my article published by NAIS.
https://www.nais.org/learn/independent-ideas/january-2018/the-harvey-weinstein-challenge-combating-sexual-harassment-in-and-out-of-school/

I am quoted in this good article in the Washington Post: “A Man Tries to Explain Sex to his Son and Finds the Meaning of Life” by David Strauss, Washington Post, January 8, 2018.
“Whenever a topic touched upon sex, my body would tense up, my words were limited, and I never over-answered the specific question asked. Here's what I learned.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2018/01/08/a-dad-tries-to-explain-sex-to-his-son-and-realizes-the-meaning-of-life/

Whenever a topic touched upon sex, my body would tense up, my words were limited, and I never over-answered the specific question asked. Here's what I learned.

A Key To Appropriate Behavior: Self-Respect
Following my recent letter in the New York Times, I was interviewed for the program On The Record, on WYPR, public radio for Baltimore and Maryland. The program was titled, “A Key To Appropriate Behavior: Self-Respect,” on December 7, 2017, and the audio is here.
http://wypr.org/post/key-appropriate-behavior-self-respect
“We talk with Deborah Roffman, author and human sexuality educator at the Park School of Baltimore, about eye-opening events in the past five years that changed attitudes about taking what you want versus getting permission. Roffman teaches boys and girls as young as 9--fourth graders--and says forming personal boundaries starts with building self-respect.”

The intense reckoning America is experiencing around sexual harassment didn’t come out of nowhere. We talk with Deborah Roffman , author and human