Wednesday, 11 February 2009

I wonder if it happens to all- disorientation. We human beings are supposedly programmed to do certain things in certain ways, and when we choose the path less trodden, we get disoriented. I am not a bad egg. I mean I am not really hard boiled, am decent where pedagogic exhibitions are concerned, and usually enjoy studying ever since I gave up mathematics (I only use the basics of it while calculating money in such hard times). But as Doomsday is nearing, I am getting more and more disoriented with the basic thing that I am supposed to do now, day in and day out. Here are the few things that I usually do when I am supposed to be studying:

1. Transforming historically famous immortals into measly cartoons- Gandhi has been my supreme prey. Others include some A- one blokes of the famous type.

2. Nose- Picking. From the dawn of civilisation, man has excelled in the art of digging out the olfactory to his might. So have I. In the privacy of the washroom.

3. Weighing options- literally. In this day and age everyone wants to be size zero. So do I. I don’t really like my ‘size-negative’.

4. Eating- after thinking about point number three for sometime.

5. Calling up friends- the ones who don’t study with you are your true friends.The family of a friend of mine does not allow her to go out for more than 10 minutes before relapsing into the bookworm syndrome. As for the rest of the chics I know, they are in as critical a situation as me.

6. Moo-sic- I can even listen to Himesh’s music if that keeps me from studying. What the heck- Himesh is a professional singer- Even Mamata didi’s patriotic croons are better than biting the dust… err, books.7. MTV Roadies- the miseries of the obnoxiously mutilated minds are fun to watch. The cat fights are side-splitting. And MTV airs roadies almost 24*7 so I can watch it anytime I want to. It’s always interesting to watch good looking femme fatales fighting it out amongst themselves for stupid looking sissies (also called boys)

8. Cooking- the way through a man’s heart is through his stomach, as they say. Since education isn’t proving to be my forte, I’d rather learn to do this. Will work wonders in the matrimonial columns (provided I get a plastic surgery first). Or else I will be able to open a roadside dhaba. Ah business in times of trouble!

9. Solving Sudoku- the more time it takes the better. And I console myself by saying that it is only helping me to develop my brain. Huh. As if I have one.

10. And the best way to constructively kill time when I am supposed to be mugging? HAVE A BLOG.

Nose digging usually leads to filthy fingers that should be washed immediately after the picking- ritual. Imagine remains of the digs stuck in between the nails while one is having some divine delicacies of the stomach. Ouch.