You know phones? Those functional communication and content-deliver devices that we carry around in our wallets and purses and use our mouths to speak into and fingers to poke at? You know what they need? A fragrance chip. To smell pretty. Apparently.

The Fujitsu F-022 nightmare you see before you is a shiny, sparkly, stinky mess, a flipper with "detachable fragrance chip" on which you can spray the scent of your choice. Which, honestly, I can't think of an appropriate odor other than "bizarre desperation."

What other gaudy splendors await you on the F-022? Two carats of "diamond-like" cubic zirconia. An 8.1MP camera with something called "beautiful skin" mode. And it's water-resistant and dust-resistant, although I think it's safe to say it hasn't built up much defense against tacky. Fortunately its initial release will be limited to China. I'm sure we can get a tariff on ridiculousness together before it tries to wash up on our shores. [Engadget]