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Well, there is no way I can choke down bulletproof coffee every morning. Not for me. Maybe would like bulletproof tea better, although I don't know if that works.

Snow today! I've been listening to the forecasts, and the experts can't figure out how much we are going to get. Couple inches so far. So pretty. I went out and cleared the birdfeeder and loaded it up with seeds and suet. (Pretty primal!)

Did you put your coffee in the blender? I use coconut oil and cream in mine. Blending it makes it creamy and frothy. Maybe try that?

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I visited the goats yesterday - went back to my old house, although from the other side, which is conservation property. I miss them! I didn't bring anything for them to eat, though. Next time I will take them some carrots.

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Went to the pool, arrived at 11:30 to find it covered in its blankets. Y closing at noon because of the snow! What a bunch of wusses. I took a shower and came home. Am going to listen to Paleocon and clean house. Maybe it is for the better, this place is an absolute tip.

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I visited the goats yesterday - went back to my old house, although from the other side, which is conservation property. I miss them! I didn't bring anything for them to eat, though. Next time I will take them some carrots.

A couple of years ago I had to be on the road with a couple of co-workers. One of our work sites happened to be very close to the childhood home of one of the coworkers. Lovely log home with a couple of acres. Just across the road was a pasture where the neighbour's holstein cows were grazing. They would come right up to the fence to try and eat the sunflowers which were growing there. I probably spent more time with those cows than with the humans. I found it very calming and peaceful to be with those gentle creatures. To this day I still get teased about "visiting my cows."

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Cows are very interesting creatures. They have such curiosity about us. It makes me feel bad that so many cows are mistreated. There is an ethical farm not far from here, the beef is so very good but very pricey as you can imagine. But the cows are treated beautifully.

Am downing a cup of bulletproof green tea. Funny, Asprey got his idea from drinking yak butter tea in Nepal or Tibet. I would think using tea instead of coffee solves the problem of mycotoxins or whatever it is that contaminates coffee. The taste is much more acceptable to me. I will try it tomorrow morning; also I will be farther away from the ice cream binge and more normal. Although hunger has not been a problem today. I had some chicken and an orange in addition to the BPC this morning.

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Yesterday I went to get some firewood in anticipation of the snow today. I took three armfuls up to the garage and put them in a big box I have for this purpose, as it needs to make an intermediary stop before it actually goes into the stove, to warm up a little and also surface dry. (Try taking wood off an outdoor woodpile when it is -1 and start a fire with it. That is if you can dislodge individual logs. Also the bugs that hatch when it warms up...nuff said here.) My landlord has always said I can take whatever I want, and I do use it for heat, but I don't think I abuse it. I'm pretty conservative with it, if for no other reason than that I have to invest quite a bit of effort to even get it up the hill, up the stairs, and into my stove. But yesterday he said that we are running out of wood and I shouldn't take any more from the woodpiles around the house. He said I can take it from the pile that is down the hill and in the woods (not stacked). The trouble is that most of this is too large to fit in my stove as it hasn't been cut down. It is also very wet. Now, I know it sounds very nasty of me to complain about not getting free firewood. But he did tell me I could have it at the beginning of the season, and I offered to buy some, which he declined. Also he gave away at least three cords to the charity program. This may reduce your opinion of me, but really, why am I less worthy of receiving than anyone else? I work very hard all year round, I pay lots of taxes, and I don't make more money in the winter! I can use a little assistance. No, I'm not poor, and I don't have small children or elderly in my home, but am I less valuable? I feel like I have had a visit from the Firewood Nazi - NO HEAT FOR YOU!

I guess I am really annoyed because I feel I am actually using less this winter - it is colder, but I have been working a lot, I have been away, and I am much more skilled in maintaining a good low fire than I was last year. He is using more - a lot more. Of course it is his firewood! He has an enormous house (4000 sq feet) that he is heating just for himself, with two furnaces and three large woodstoves. Which is his business, and not mine.

I know I'm going back and forth here, trying to work out these feelings. I guess I'm trying to resolve things in my own mind. I feel somewhat embarrassed about getting free firewood, but I can really use the help. And he offered, I didn't ask. I hate being put in this position of feeling like I have taken something that I shouldn't have and being made to feel unwelcome and beholden. I mean, this is a man who is very active in church, who gives very generously of his time and probably $$$$ to various causes. So this is really causing me confusion in my thoughts.

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I can understand you're feelings of being "put off" by his turn around. I mean - he did say you could use it - obviously he didn't "plan" properly - or was unable to predict how much firewood would be needed for the harsh winter. What other type of heating do you have in the apartment? You did say he pays for the electric right? If so --- crank up the space heaters and leave the firewood to him. Besides - its cleaner and easier to turn the knob on the space heater!

You've not done anything at all wrong by using the wood that he offered - and he may be feeling a bit bad about having to tell you to stop using it. That being said --- he should AT LEAST offer to help you go into the woods and bring up more wood for your own use. Unless he's old and physically unable to help with that.

Maybe next winter you could have a load of your very own delivered??? I don't know what wood costs on that side of the US - but over here its about $200 a cord for cut and split hardwood.

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Bummer about the wood. Yes, if he said you could use it and actually offered it and then still turned down your getting more - not good! He's gone back on his word and that hurts and we don't think you are a free loader!! It would be different if he had never offered or if you had asked him, but with it the other way around - not right and it is ok to feel upset about it. However, there is nothing you can do about it unless it is in writing Sad that he is happy to give it away to charity but not take care of his own renter ... he could do both. Maybe you can find some hunk to help you cut and carry some of the wood from waaaayyy down the hill. If we lived nearby I know DH would give you a hand. We could get you all set with your own pile too. I like the idea of buying your own cord or two next year - no grey areas then and no hard feelings.

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Listened to Chris Kresser's presentation once again while continuing my housecleaning. How does anyone keep a clean house? It's hopeless! I'm rubbish at cleaning. I'm having a big laundry day - washing all the bedding and furniture covers. Taking a break now for a glass of wine!

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I think I have to chalk all this up to The Problems of Being a Renter. Until I get desperate enough to buy my own place and have all the problems associated with homeownership, I'm just going to have to deal with this sort of thing. I have a very thin skin when it comes to this sort of thing - I take things personally and I read too much into everything. I hate that feeling that I did something I shouldn't have, or whatever is going on. It's a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment and WTF.

Had some fish and a large bowl of leafy greens. It's snowing to beat the band, very pretty. The birds are feasting on my offerings.

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Anyone following The Biggest Loser controversy? I'm so sad that anyone feels they have to do this sort of thing, although I don't understand why people are attacking her personally. Chris Kresser talked about The Biggest Loser in his presentation and how they don't mention that the people on the show almost always are on a lot of different meds and have serious health that aren't addressed.

Speaking of Kresser, I just read his chapter on resistant starch, which I had heard of but I didn't know what it is. I've been getting some from tapioca flour and now I feel pretty good about eating it!

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Just for the record, I think your landlord is being pretty much a dick. Blunt, but accurate.

As for the biggest loser, haven't followed the controversy, but I did see the series, including last night's finale. I presume the issue is with the winner. I was a tad shocked at how much she had lost, arms looked a bit thin, but think about this: if we hadn't seen her at 260 lbs, would we be thinking she was too skinny now? Or just that she's a thin, lean athlete?