Friday, March 3, 2017

The Lansdowne Letters: Hungry Heart

Do you remember the first time you truly connected with another on a deep level;not child with parent, or sibling with sibling,or even friend with friend, but heart to heart,where you shared your innermost thoughts and dreams?Early sexual experiences can have a profound impact in shaping a person, but I would argue that entangling your heart can be more consequential.

Peninsula and Island

Lansdowne House, Northern Ontario

Credit: Canada. Dept. of Indian Affairs and Northern DevelopmentLibrary and Archives Canada: PA-094992

I was catching up on a crate of mail the week before lastafter returning from Bullhead City, Arizona,and I came across an interview with the The Boss in the December 2016 issue of AARP The Magazine(Bruce Springsteen: "What I Know Now," p. 16)Springsteen said, "The first 18 years really shape you forever.It's like a glass of water filled with mud.You can pour clear water in until it appears clear,but there's still mud there."His words resonated with me because they struck me as so very true.My life was largely shaped by six months in 1961, March through August, although certainly my teenage years added more definition.A lifetime of hosing down hasn’t removed the mud of that year.

I realized when I read the comments to my last post that some peoplewere thinking that I had a sexual relationship with an Ojibway boy.

Sorry about that ~ nothing is further from the truth.

But that doesn't mean that I didn't develop deep relationships,

much to the consternation of my parents.My father used to joke that we had to get out of the Northbecause I kept falling in love with Indian boys.And it's true. The Ojibway boys I met in Lansdowne House, Lac Seul,and Sioux Lookout were far more interesting than the white boys.They were exotic, with sparkling dark eyes, black hair, and copper skin;but it was their stories that got me.We all have hungry hearts.We all long to be understood at a deep level.And while the white boys I had known in the past were cute and fun,it was the Ojibway boys who had real stories to share about life.

In a lifetime we are really fortunate to meet one real kindred spirit, and if more than one, better still. I guess in any really isolated place, you have to adapt, and learn to accept friendships, deep and lasting or transient and fleeting.There is not the same number of people your own age, and no choice to pick and choose. Lovely words today that reach out to us all.

I'm glad that you felt my words today reached out to you today, Jean. This wasn't a long post, but I really wrestled with it. Sometimes it's difficult to put intuitive thoughts and feelings into words. I hope your knee is feeling better. Hi to Hugh and the kitties with lots of love.

Hi dear friend, it is so lovely to see your post. I smiled when I saw your comment on my blog yesterday. It would be such fun if you did know my cousins. Too bad you aren't on Facebook because you would be able to see all the photos of my family. It is so lovely. By the way, I have a contact form on my blog, so if you would ever like to e-mail me and/or connect on Facebook, it would be a joy and an honour. I hope you have a fantastic weekend, Louise. Hugs and love to you. :)

Thank you, Linda! I am on Facebook: Louise Barbour in Aurora Colorado. So perhaps you can find me! I'd love that! I'm looking forward to a great weekend. Terry and I are going to have our first swim in the ocean this afternoon. We haven't been able to so far because it's been raining. I've had several wonderful afternoons of lazily reading, a rarity for me. And I've been able to take some Apple workshops in the Apple store down the street. Hugs and love right back at you!

I totally agree with you, Louise, that at that age we are very impressionable and life experiences will stick with us for a lifetime.......good and not so good ones.Some of us absorb our surroundings like sponges when we are kids.Great post.

Hi, Susan! We had to change rooms, so I haven't been into my blog until now. There are some interesting things coming, I hope! My next stop in Denver is going to be a little longer, so I hope we can get together! Take care!

I had a girlfriend once who I opened my heart to, and she reciprocated, but I got unwell and she finished with me - she got scared as I self-harmed. That's in the past now. I've recently split up with another girlfriend, she got unwell (I met her in the hospital). I love my own company now! Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

It's a wonderful feeling when someone totally "gets us." Sorry I'm late replying, Martha." I fall so far behind when I have trouble accessing the internet with my computer. Happy St. Patrick's Day to you!