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09 November 2012

Day 40 / 102 - The Fall of Babylon - Part 2

Last week I posted that my children were working on an IEW assignment about King Belshazzar and the fall of Babylon. There were a few elements of writing we were focusing on during the assignment. One part of the assignment was to add dialogue. Another part was to try to use other verbs than 'said'. My son loved this assignment, and spent quite a bit of time writing and revising his paper. I've posted it below. He's eleven, and this is his third year in an IEW program.

A Tragic Change for Babylon

Belshazzar, son of
the amazing, highly exalted King Nebuchadnezzar resided in his palace at
Babylon.Belshazzar gazed triumphantly
in the direction of the towering ziggurat.He affectionately peered in the direction of his mother’s Hanging Garden
that his father constructed for her many years ago.He confidently stared at the lustrous Ishtar
Gate and beyond.Babylon, this unique,
extraordinary land belonged to him, and no one could rob him of it.

“I am invincible,”
He said to himself.

On a hot, summer,
desert day while Belshazzar was addressing his kingdom, his most loyal
messenger, Abznar, came running through the crowd.“The Persians,” he gasped.“They are advancing!”Belshazzar laughed.“Let them try to attack.They stand no chance.”

“The Persians, I
repeat, have no chance,” Belshazzar confidentially snickered.“Why, let’s have a feast to celebrate the
falling of the Persian army!”

The crowd roared!

Abznar sighed, “As
you wish, Master.”

The feast was
magnificent.Dancing and music filled
the extraordinary banquet hall.Belshazzar stood on the table, “Let us toast to the gods for our good
fortune.”

During the feast,
Belshazzar rushed to get more provisions from the cellar.While digging through random crates, he
suddenly turned around to notice a strange hand writing on the wall.He stared questioningly.As soon as the hand finished writing he
screamed for Abznar.“Fetch my wife!”
Belshazzar ordered.

Abznar quickly returned
with Belshazzar’s wife, Florma.He
explained to her about what he had witnessed.She recommended the king ask Daniel, who was an Israelite with much
wisdom, about the vision.

Then the Persain
General, Lord Zebnar beheaded Abznar.War
broke out. Chaos began.Anyone who knew
how to fight made an attempt at the armory.However, they were cut off by the fashioned Persian army.
“HHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!” Belshazzar
screamed.Immediately, he was slain by
Lord Zenbar.

“My husband,”
Madam Florma wailed.“Why you dirty,
little…..” Zenbar then smashed the hilt of his sword on her head.She crumpled unconsciously.

The Persians began
taking the Babylonians into captivity.Zebnar strutted through his brand new palace with his trusty advisor Cyrus,
and his brothers Aloss and Darius.“My
Lord,” Cyrus mentioned.“All is going
well with the Babylonians.Lady Florma
is behaving insanely, so we imprisoned her in the basement.

“Fine.Fine,” Zebnar chided.“How about Belshazzar and Abznar?”

“I cut them to
pieces and burned them,” Darius boasted.“I did it myself.”

“Good, good,”
Zebnar murmured.

Cyrus leaned over
the rail at the exact spot Belshazzar stood admiring his kingdom days
earlier.“This all belongs to us now,”
Cyrus happily sang.“This is all ours.”

“I’ll get the wine
to celebrate,” Darius jabbered, as he quickly exited.

“Perhaps we can send
for the Jews and they can rebuild the temple that the Babylonians destroyed?”
Aloss questioned.

“Babylon
will change, now that we rule,” Zenbar remarked triumphantly.