Web Nuggets: [Closed] AROUND THE NET -- January 2013 and possibly beyond

They had arse eels on River Monsters last night. These particular ones were about 5' long, thicker than your arm, and lived in New Zealand (I think). They were described by an eyewitness as swimming up a sheeps anus and eating it from the inside out. They also had a similar, but much smaller, South American style species.

Like a bee that settles on the fragrant pistils of a flower, and sips in the nectar for honey, so should you sip in the nectar from between the lips of your love. And it is nectar. For there is in this mingling a symbol of the holy communion of the spirits of two soul-mates, joined together in the bonds of an indissoluble love.

Redditor BoredBoarder8 created this map when he was having a difficult time grasping the size of the moon. Using a known distance, the continental United States, as a reference point, he extrapolated the data onto the moon.

Scenario #7During a winter night in a defensive position in Afghanistan, you do not wish to leave the warmth of your sleeping bag to masturbate in the remote, frigid, infested jack shack. Perseverant, you decide to masturbate. Unfortunately, you lack the traditional "happy sock" in which you would normally deposit your ejaculate. Climax is imminent. Where will you deposit your knuckle babies?

Field-tested solution #1: One can remove his polar-fleece beanie hat and use it to catch and isolate his load from his body and bedding.

The rub #1: Laundry is nigh-impossible; it's below freezing everywhere you go; and you're going to want to wear the hat. If you choose the warmth of the beanie, you must choose whether to wear your beanie butter side up or butter side down. Your choice will either publicize your perversion or test the limits of just how dirty your hair can become.

Field-tested solution #2: If one is particularly thin in stature and confident in his muzzle velocity, he may choose to simply jizz into the far distant regions of his sleeping bag and sleep soundly in an isolated zone of the bag that is calculated to be semen-free.

The rub #2: In an infantry unit, everyone is issued a sleeping bag—nearly all of them used. While talking loosely about your new technique, you confirm the blood-curdling fears of everyone else who sleeps in previously issued gear. You will single-handedly crush the morale of your unit for no less than eight days and nights.