A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn’t even pay for your sandwich!”

Ah, time for some more fun in the snow. Bonus Envy Factor: This video was shot just two weeks ago, in British Columbia, according to the video notes. (Meanwhile, you moved your bed under the air conditioner again this year, didn’t you?)

SWITZERLAND — Police and protesters clashed during the Ursine Environment Summit today, as demonstrators upset over deforestation of the Hundred Acre Wood chained themselves to treetops and had to be forcibly removed.

People, we apologize for the delay in getting you your cute fix over the last 36 hours. [Tapping arm repeatedly] We had some hamsters clog the design template and chew through various HTML tags, resulting in white-as-snow blank screens. Of death!

Part Three: The handshake is the key to any successful introduction. Always grasp the hand firmly, and shake from the elbow, pumping about three or four times. A two-handed grip is too familiar for most business and social situations.

Regardless of species, a bear hug is considered inappropriate for an initial greeting.