Just in 'planning' for the future, if child is out of school (done high school) and taking 'time off', what are the typical requirements for post secondary payments when/if he does go to school?

Currently, ex has him convinced to stay at home and be her live in babysitter to the recent baby with 3rd husband since me - so he can only work PT. I've offered him $34/hr to work with me - but again, ex has him brainwashed.

She is trying to get me to continue paying CS on him since he's 'saving' for post secondary, but I refuse (another court date).

Also, she'll expect over 80% of post secondary costs coming from me - since she's quit her FT job to live on CS from my other children & child tax credits. Can ex be ordered to pay up extra costs due to all this? At what point am I not responsible for post-secondary costs with the child? I don't want to sound like the 'dead beat dad' - not wanting to pay up for post secondary - but when I offer my 19y/o a good paying job, there needs to be some responsibility sent back on that I would hope. I can't blame him, though, ex has him quite nicely brainwashed into thinking I'm the bad guy. At the same time, he needs to learn that he can't be like her - whine & cry a sob story to get her way.

ex has him convinced to stay at home and be her live in babysitter to the recent baby with 3rd husband since me - so he can only work PT.

So he works and receives room and board? That is supporting himself.

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if child is out of school (done high school) and taking 'time off', what are the typical requirements for post secondary payments when/if he does go to school?

Children can lose "child of the marriage" status and regain it later. If your child is 18/19 and not in school, or otherwise unable to support themselves, no child support. If they go to full time education afterwards, depending on their age and means, they may become children of the marriage again.