Life Coaching Best Practices for Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Would optimal thinking life coaching help you to deal with people who get away with overtly aggressive and passive-aggressive behavior? Some people are verbally disrespectful, offend others, and socially inept. They use inappropriate language, off color jokes, and degrade others. Others use passive-aggressive behaviors to avoid taking responsibility for hurting others. They fail to take action when it is appropriate to do so. For example, when they make appointments with others, they don’t show up on time, or call ahead to ensure the other person knows they’ll be late.

Recently, one of my clients arranged to meet his new acquaintance, Helen, a wealthy business woman, at a Xmas party at 6 pm. He arrived at 5:56 pm and sat at a table in clear view, securing an open chair for his new acquaintance. Helen didn’t show up 6 pm or 6:30 pm. At 7 pm, when Helen was still a no show and hadn’t emailed or phoned, my client decided to call to see if his new acquaintance was okay.

At that moment, my client saw Helen seated at another table with a group of people. He was surprised and disappointed. Soon after, he and Helen acknowledged each other from a distance, without any verbal exchange. Helen made no attempt to speak with my client or apologize. Later, my client left the party with a friend. The next morning, Helen emailed my client. She apologized for having been detained at work, and said she didn’t want to explain herself at the party.

During his next life coaching session, my client shared this episode and his disappointment with me, I asked numerous questions including: “Why are you disappointed? What are you thinking or doing to create these feelings? Do you believe that money can buy class? What can you learn from this? How can you best adjust your expectations? What is your best strategy for dealing with Helen? What are best practices for dealing with passive-aggressive-behaviors? What are the most constructive actions you can take to prevent this kind of situation in the future?”