July 2018

There is a lot online and even on my website about sticking to something, being persistent, being consistent, and more. I am not detracting from that at all. I cannot detract from it, because I am a shining example of being consistent, and persistent gets you to lead your ideal life. That’s what life is all about. Keeping on going on the path that makes sense for you, and sticking with it, UNTIL, it doesn’t make sense anymore. And then…

“Dial it down.” “Calm down.” “Don’t be so much.” “Stop being so high.” “You are too intense.” “Why are you always too much?” I have heard these statements all of my life. It wasn’t mildly annoying to hear these words thrown at me on a daily or weekly basis. It was extremely degrading, and humiliating. I hated myself for being too much. I wanted to feel less, I wanted to be less, and I wanted to do less. Cool as…

I have a tendency as most people do to shame myself for not doing enough, not being enough, not having enough, and more. Even though, I am successful in my mind, and I am living an awesome life, there’s always something more I could be doing. I’m becoming better and better in this regard as time goes on, but it’s still one of those things I struggle with. The universe, I love her so much, she is always looking out…

Why am I so driven now to change my life and live the life that I have always wanted to live? This change, this driven attitude, this motivation in me, didn’t happen overnight. But it seems sometimes that it did. I realize now that the change that I had wanted, the motivation that I had always craved was always underneath the surface. Waiting to appear. Waiting to bubble up to the surface. But it didn’t. Why? Because there wasn’t enough…

Let’s chat a bit about gratitude using this story. There is a lot of construction going on in the place that I am living at right now. It’s low season and it’s a good time to get a lot of repairs and shit done. Which is great for the guests that might be coming in the future. But for people like me, who are living here right now, it’s annoying. I was speaking to an older gentleman about it recently,…