8.19.2010

Back to School

When I turned 16 and started driving places by myself I didn't feel like it was happening.

I STILL get in a car sometimes and think to myself, "They're letting me drive by myself?" What's the matter with them?

I'm not old enough to be able to apply to colleges.

I'm not old enough to have already taken the ACT twice! (2 down, 1 to go!)

So, this time next year I'll be settling myself in a dorm room? BY MYSELF?!?

I'll be going to classes (WHAT!? IN A CLASSROOM WITH OTHER PEOPLE?!?! I DON'T HAVE SOCIAL SKILLS, REMEMBER?!?!?homeschooled.)

I went to our school's big group meeting at the beginning of the year, Hope Day, and I got to sit in on the senior meeting. These kids around me are seniors too? Wait. My friends are in college. And I have one more year left. How did I become an upperclassman?

That is part of what I'm feeling.

But at the same time, I'm excited to see what my story holds. I'm excited to branch out. I'm excited by the sense of adventure that college gives me. I'm curious of all the stuff that senior year holds. I want to improve myself in so many ways. I want to do a lot of stuff before I leave home. I mean, it's not like I'm NEVER going back home. I get that. It's just generally never the same after you leave for college. You're still the same person but your situation permanently changes. Maybe I'm just being a little too dramatic.

My point is I still see myself as the little girl running around with her cousins, getting left out of games because I was too young. I still see myself as one of the "little girls". But, I shed that title somewhere between having my mom tell me to brush my teeth and driving myself to Nashville. How?

So, this little girl is expected to apply to a college.

This little girl is going to have to take responsibility home with her.