A definite high tidemark of suffering was the removal of the remains of our chimneys, in which – very fortunately – I had the able assistance of the lovely Ian Dalziel from Apple Pie Design. Actually ‘assistance’ perhaps undersells his contribution. Saint Dalziel lifted a mind-boggling 75 tonnes of bricks (7.5 tonnes, 10 times). The fact that he hasn’t ended up in a spinal unit is nothing short of a miracle; indeed I plan to use this as evidence in my campaign for official papal recognition of his saintliness.

The prodigious lifting ability you see in Ian today was honed carrying entire PA Systems up the steep, carpeted stairs of Melbourne pubs and RSLs as the roadie for the legendary Toy Love. The saintly nature itself is, I believe, innate.

This whole process seems to be a triumph of monumental proportions already, and you haven't even moved the house yet. The story of everyone, and Saint Dalziel in particular, going the extra mile is incredibly heart warming.

The commencement of work on the second pair of chimneys revealed three hitherto unknown cupboards hidden behind the wallpaper.

Being in the process of demolishing a 1900's era house myself, I was amazed by the nest of cupboards I found constructed around the fireplace, or place where the wood stove would have been. Must have had something to do with drying and airing of clothes, bedding etc.Hope it goes well.

David, you write a wonderful story even when exhausted, and long after most people would have lost their sense of humour. Well done to you and Jen and all your helpers! And I hope the move is going swimmingly (but not in the Avon)....

You could try digging up what's left and replanting it. I was given a cabbage tree for my garden which had only part of its main root still attached. I stuck it in the ground as an experiment and then when it didn't seem to have done anything after some months I started to dig it up again to throw away, only to find it was busy sprouting roots down there! I hurriedly re-buried them with apologies to the tree, and it went on to grow a magnificent crown.

Only to be chopped down unceremoniously by the subsequent owner of the house who didn't like having to pick up the leaves!