Monday, July 2, 2012

Last night after dinner I decided I wanted to go to a local
department store to look at tote bags.I
already own several thousand tote bags, but not THE PERFECT tote bag,
hence my search.Plus, I figured tote
bag shopping would provide some much-needed alone time.

No such luck.

For some reason, Large decided he wanted to come with
me.Below is a sampling of our
conversations while shopping for THE PERFECT tote bag.

ME:I’d really like
something shiny like this one (pointing to an orange patent leather tote) that
has a zipper up top and pockets inside.

LARGE:Well, what’s
wrong with this zebra one?

ME:I just don’t
think I’d use that one.

LARGE: (sarcastically.I don’t know where he gets it.)Oh, like you’d use a shiny orange one.

LARGE: How come all these shoes are so high?

ME: Some women like to wear high heals because they look
pretty.

LARGE: Look!These
almost fit me!(Athletic socks and all .
. . )

ME:Super.Daddy will be very proud.

LARGE: . . . But they’re hard to walk in.

LARGE:(holding up a
pair of driving mocassins.)These shoes
look like cleats.But not football
cleats.Baseball cleats.They should make these baseball cleats.

ME: Awesome.You’d be
the most fashionable kid on the ball field.

We were not successful in our quest for THE PERFECT tote
bag, so I am still carrying my monogrammed Lands’ End tote.It’s the only thing that fits all my crap.

Just for kicks . . .

An Inventory, from left to right:

Diapers
and Wipes in handy clutch

Orioles
baseball cap

Card
from Edible Arrangements I received on our anniversary

Hair
ribbon

1
Kellogg’s Frosted Mini Wheat

coupons,
expired

race
car, red

umbrella

game
schedules

Baltimore
Orioles

Richmond
Flying Squirrels

Nail
files from my last manicure, weeks ago

Clutch
with emergency paraphernalia

Epi-Pen

Benadryl

Advil

Sea
Bands since Large gets car sick

Inhaler

Band-Aids
and Neosporin

2
tampons

Off
FamilyCare insect repellent towelettes

Dramamine

Tums

Burts
Bees

May
Kay Nourishine Lip Gloss in Bronze Bliss

Clutch
of emergency lollipops and Craisins

Wallet

Pens
of various sizes, colors, and permanency

Binder
clip

Sunscreen

Empty
bottle of party bubbles

Bakugan ("borrowed" from cousin)

Nasal
spray

Diet
Coke

sunglasses

mints

2
trains, Thomas and Percy

2
cars

athletic
supporter

appointment
cards for doctor appointments

Dental
Floss

Small’s
sunglass tether, no longer tethered to said sunglasses

Ticket
to Strawberry Hill horse races which occurred on June 2

Loudoun
8U Aces Lineup

JoAnn’s
Coupons

Barrettes

Score
book from Minor League ball game

Just thinking of all the sh*t MacGyver could make out of all
this stuff makes my head hurt.Perhaps I’ll
take one of these three unidentifiable pills I found among the sand and pretzel
salt in the bottom of the bag . . .

About Me

I am a Stay-at-Home Mommy to three boys. My daily goal is to keep my head out of the oven. Ask any one of my children what lesson Mommy has taught them, and they'll tell you "to never ride in the back of a police car." Because they can sit in the front, but if they're ridin' in the back, they're in BIG trouble. Like time-out trouble.