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Confidence... part three - confront with confidence, aka standing up for yourself...

I've always been naturally assertive, but I can still find
confrontation quite nerve-wracking. As an assistant it's in our nature to be,
for want of a nicer term, people-pleasers.I've met many assistants, and the executives they work with, over the
years and those that lack people-pleasing qualities don't seem to last very
long or to rise through the ranks to the C-Suite.Our role is, ultimately, to help.

They say that the most powerful word in the English language
is "no".How you say it
determines your success.It's not always
easy to do so, but the best approach is to speak calmly, firmly, and don’t
yell, ask permission, apologise or beg.Just state consequences/conditions as they are.Remember though, that your viewpoint is just
that – yours.Many of us are brilliant
at saying no on behalf of our executives, but seem to fall at the hurdle when
it comes to doing so for ourselves.Not
just professionally, but personally too.

So how do I approach a situation I'm not necessarily looking
forward to?

1. Prepare.Anticipate as much as you can so you go armed with information.If you're going to say no to a task, can you
offer a solution? Can you make it sound
like their idea?

2. Try to seek a neutral setting, or as I've done in the
past, in their room so I can walk away.If it ends up being at your desk, stand up (align pose - see 4) so you can walk
off.I have a stack of irrelevant papers
on my desk that I can pick up to walk off with, as though that was always my
intention to do so, so that I can escape from a situation.

3. Try to find a good time.If the other person is rushed, they may re-approach the conversation at
a later date, when you're not as prepared.