Dealing with the Breastfeeding Debate

It seems that this summer the issue of breastfeeding featured very prominently in the news, whether it’s the Time magazine cover promoting attachment parenting or Mayor Bloomberg’s voluntary program that hospitals only provide formula to new mothers upon their direct request.

In May, when the Time magazine cover of a mother nursing her not-an-infant son splashed across the media, I didn’t jump on the bandwagon with an opinion. I didn’t even read the article, which I’m told was about attachment parenting. But I cringed at the headline: “Are you Mom enough?”

Being a Mom is difficult enough without this faux-challenge to always be something better, something more. I guess it generates conversation and sells magazines, because suddenly everyone was talking about breastfeeding. A few months later, NY Mayor Bloomberg launched a citywide initiative designed to support breastfeeding mothers by restricting the promotion of formula in post-partum wards.

What’s a working mom to do?

I nursed all three of my children for a time. Because I work outside the home, I had to find a realistic solution for feeding each child that would allow me to continue nursing as long as I could when I returned to the office. Thirteen years ago, my employer didn’t have a room where I could pump, but fortunately I worked close enough to our child care provider that I could nurse on my lunch hour. We supplemented with formula twice a day and this nursing/formula combination lasted for nine months.

When I had my second daughter, I couldn’t nurse during the lunch hour, but I did have a private room to pump and a good electric double pump machine. She received a combination of pumped milk and formula and because she was fed almost entirely from a bottle, she quickly learned that food comes from the bottle, not mommy, and we struggled to make it to six months. She self-weaned to the bottle and cup very quickly.

With both of my daughters, we did what worked for us without regard for what all the “experts” demanded and both girls turned out just fine.

I had planned to use the same combination of nursing and formula with my third baby (my birthday surprise); however, when he was two or three weeks old, one of the doctors casually mentioned to his medical students that if a mother is going to breastfeed exclusively, she has to do it for at least six months in order for babies to get the full benefits. At the time, he was trying to reassure me to not feel guilty about weaning to formula to go back to work, but it had the opposite effect. Before I realized it, I had set myself the goal of nursing exclusively for the first six months. I didn’t really think I would be able to do it, and naturally I reminded myself that using formula didn’t hurt my girls and wouldn’t hurt him.

I don’t know what combination of factors helped me reach that goal. It might have been that I was much more relaxed with this baby, having him later in life, or that my employer worked with me to make sure I had privacy for pumping. I nursed him every morning on one side while pumping from the other. I pumped if he skipped a feeding, and I maintained a regular schedule at the office. I froze pumped milk for emergencies and somehow we managed. Having a good electric double pump turned out to be a real necessity. I can’t say that saw any particular difference in his health, from my experience with the girls, but my overall experience nursing this baby felt easier.

Whether you choose to breastfeed, pump and bottle feed, or supplement with formula, you absolutely have to do what’s right for YOU and your family. Don’t let anyone pressure you into thinking you have to do it one way or the other. Your baby will be fine in the long run and you will be more relaxed and able to enjoy motherhood.

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3 Comments

I’m so taken back by the Time article and the criticism it unleashed. I’m sure people are more than aware that just tilting the camera a few millimeters can distort anything including height. Jamie (the woman featured on the cover) is one of the most lovely, sweet people I know who is an amazing philanthropist. She really utilized the attention in a positive way. I’m so proud of her. She maybe pro-attachment parenting but that doesn’t mean that moms who have that pov bash woman who aren’t. Just like in religion and politics there will always be the extremists. Sometimes we inflict guilt on OURSELVES but blame it on others when we feel we’ve not reached the full potential of our own values. In any case, she looked beautiful, and children will survive on any of our choices. There are plenty of doctors out there who were given only formula. My story is very close to the author of this article, it was only my last child that we made it to 15 months and now she won’t stop! Good luck ladies! God bless!

“Hopefully soon all the fuss will die down and instead of reacting to another “extreme parenting” headline (unless it’s someone beating or starving their child), mainstream America will start to focus on following our Credo of cheering all moms on, whether they breastfeed for 2 days, 2 months, 2 years, or more, or less, or not at all. At the end of the day, parents generally do the best they can, they do what they know, and they do what they’ve gotta do to make things work. If we really want to help parents, we’ll stop telling them what to do, and judging them for what they do. We’ll start removing the Booby Traps that keep them from making informed decisions, carrying them out, and enjoying the reduced risk of diabetes, obesity, cancer, heart disease and life-threatening infections that come with breastfeeding and donor milk. And we’ll need savvy social marketing (like a better TIME.com cover, this time about the Booby Traps), to hit that message home.”

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