Not You, Too

I cannot imagine dealing with the stressors of work life, personal life, and my boss, or colleague constantly whipping out his member upon my entrance then relieving himself in the potted plant that stood near the framed picture of his wife and kids.

Imagine that shit. With the amount of allegations to come out within the last few months, I’m surprised trauma centers aren’t filled with people just dazed and confused from their eye sight being completely shot and brain waves shutting down. We have to remember: there are many, many, many more allegations sitting in the pit of stomachs everywhere.

I think people are unaware of the large spectrum that is sexual harassment and sexual assault: from staring, to unwanted sexual jokes, to unwanted love letters, to unwanted touching, to threats and blackmail, to sodomy, to rape. But educating men – people – about this is a general waste of time. Rule of thumbs are helpful here for those who are convinced that others want or enjoy their company. “If you got your thang-thang out and she got all her clothes on, you’re wrong.” – Tiffany Haddish. Another rule of thumb: if you make a joke or call her by a name that isn’t funny aka she doesn’t laugh or laughs nervously, just stop doing it. The reality is that even this rule of thumb may be confusing to some because, again, they think people enjoy their presence; folks are walking around either unable to read or completely dismissing ALL THE SIGNS. Should we put more tax dollars towards teaching people about perception in terms of understanding how and why others view them the way they do? We aren’t self-aware enough.

This outpour of allegations has me questioning a few things and I’m curious to know what you think:

What distinguishes a man who does not sexually harass/assault women from one who does?

Is there any place in the world (any place at all) where sexual harassment/assault is low/relatively non-existent? – And why?

If you discovered that a friend or family member of yours committed an act of sexual harassment/assault, how do you think you would deal with that?

Is sex addiction real, and if so, can it be cured?

We all know that it’s hard for victims to come out and name their abusers. I think it’s harder for men than it is for women as we normally hear women speak up. Do you think if more men were vocal about their abuse as kids (or adults) that this will make a difference?