Opinions..Left A Band Today

The history. Been playing with a keyboard player semi steady for about 3 years. She is the band leader. She has gone thru a variety of vocalists and guitar players retaining me as her bass player. Played a few free gigs and only one paying gig in 3.5 years.

I have played with a few other folks over that time, mostly for fun. The latest was as a sub for a 7 piece jazz and blues band. That band wants me to be their bass player, organizing and playing a handful of shows over a 5 month period. I agreed to do that.

Today, after knowing this for a month my band leader is sort of giving me a farewell speech on the phone as she is arranging our practice this afternoon. She referred to both me and our guitar player/lead vocalists as boat anchors.

At practice we have a discussion over chordal tones vs scale intervals. I like to play chord tones and chromatic approach notes...I play what she arranges. We talk about 3rds, 4ths and 5ths and triads(which she doesnt have a clue about).She then goes into attempting to school me on my bass not knowing string names, numbers or how the fretboard is arranged. I show her on a tuner...the discussion gets heated...I get insulted again. I draw a picture and show it again on the keyboard. The insult stands.

I packed up my gear and left...no gigs in sight for this band.

Wondering...how much does one give...how much does one take before enough is enough?

The history. Been playing with a keyboard player semi steady for about 3 years. She is the band leader. She has gone thru a variety of vocalists and guitar players retaining me as her bass player. Played a few free gigs and only one paying gig in 3.5 years.

I have played with a few other folks over that time, mostly for fun. The latest was as a sub for a 7 piece jazz and blues band. That band wants me to be their bass player, organizing and playing a handful of shows over a 5 month period. I agreed to do that.

Today, after knowing this for a month my band leader is sort of giving me a farewell speech on the phone as she is arranging our practice this afternoon. She referred to both me and our guitar player/lead vocalists as boat anchors.

At practice we have a discussion over chordal tones vs scale intervals. I like to play chord tones and chromatic approach notes...I play what she arranges. We talk about 3rds, 4ths and 5ths and triads(which she doesnt have a clue about).She then goes into attempting to school me on my bass not knowing string names, numbers or how the fretboard is arranged. I show her on a tuner...the discussion gets heated...I get insulted again. I draw a picture and show it again on the keyboard. The insult stands.

I packed up my gear and left...no gigs in sight for this band.

Wondering...how much does one give...how much does one take before enough is enough?

I dont know.

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Sounds like you were very patient.

I'm sure 12 months from now she will be in the same spot while you will be actively playing a real band.

At practice we have a discussion over chordal tones vs scale intervals. I like to play chord tones and chromatic approach notes...I play what she arranges. We talk about 3rds, 4ths and 5ths and triads(which she doesnt have a clue about).She then goes into attempting to school me on my bass not knowing string names, numbers or how the fretboard is arranged. I show her on a tuner...the discussion gets heated...I get insulted again. I draw a picture and show it again on the keyboard. The insult stands.

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Never argue with idiots. They'll drag you down to their level and win with experience.

Frankly, a keyboard player who doesn't know what a triad is sounds quite ... esoteric... Were her keys perchance marked with coloured dots or numbers?

She referred to both me and our guitar player/lead vocalists as boat anchors.

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One thing I've found common among borderline neurotics is they'll often accuse you of possessing the personality traits they know they possess themselves, but wont admit it. ("If it's you, then it can't be me, so I'll make you the problem, which will work great for me because then I won't have to confront any internal root causes." That type of deal.)

The other thing is, how does a BL slap the Boat Anchor label on someone who's loyal -- unless he's a crap player or has crap equipment or won't learn a style that's needed for the project to fly or refuses to do certain music or gigs?

The reality is there are a LOT of "Basement" "heroes", on ALL instruments. You need to learn to recognize them, and then avoid them at all costs, unless you are just wanting to "Jam". Because after having dealt with at least 10-20 of them, I can tell you , they WILL NEVER gig out anywhere.