To move my children from their current Catholic school...

I have 2 children one in Year 1 and one in Year 3. They attend our local Catholic school where I also work (makes things 1000 x harder). My 8 year old has come home a few times quite worried and scared about his RE lessons. They have been learning about Purgatory and some other quite scary stories which I think are a bit heavy for children his age.

My husband is totally against religion and he didn't want the children to go to that school in the first place. I am a bit torn as I wanted them to have the discipline and moral teaching BUT I was naive about how much it actually was. So it is my fault entirely and I know you are going to say 'you chose it, you should've know' etc... but anyway now I want them to change schools to another local school that is very good but I am very nervous about making this decision. The other thing is that how do I talk to the head/my boss about it without it affecting my job! Will he expect me to hand in my notice too?? Can I still say 'I like working here but it's not what I want for my children?'Oh i just dont know what to do...

There will always be some lessons that children find hard and scary to learn about. I think it would make things difficult for you at work and I wouldn't move the children just because of one lesson. Ask what exactly is being said in class and try to talk it over with your 8 yr old after school. Point out that this is just what some people believe and that people have all sorts of different opinions. My DD2 gets very upset when she's learning about drugs and bad accidents that can happen to people and she can be very sensitive and cry but you just have to do your best to help them through. The lesson won't last forever and surely they'll be getting onto the nicer Jesus was born type of thing soon??

If you work at the school could you not talk to the RE coordinator before making such a drastic move. Do you have a good relationship with your boss? If your employer values you then they may well suggest a way forward.

Depends on the situation. If they are focussing what the old testament is about and the thoughts behind it. I would not remove him. There will always be lessons discussing things. Lessons about drugs etc.

If they are teaching that a person who is baptised goes to purgetory and such stuff. Then I would move him. Because that's not what a catholic school should be teaching.

I went to a catholic school all my life. I'm now in my 40's and not scared of anything! I like to look at it as a basic moral code to live a life by. I did check out with a church of England vicar a few years ago that all unbaptised babies did not, in fact, go to "limbo" and was reassured.

There are a few things I find wrong about the catholic church and this is sort of why I don't attend anymore.

If you are not catholic and did not baptise your children, how come they're in a catholic school? It's quite a serious faith that in school will permeate all aspects. I accept you say you didn't know but it was certainly that way when I was there.

I think you will get away with telling your children that this is what Catholics believe but how you can get round telling them without them feeling perhaps alienated there I don't know?

Has purgatory gone from Catholic teaching?? I find that hard to believe. I know that they no longer say that babies who die before being christened spend eternity in limbo. They now say that they go straight to heaven.

YANBU. That sounds like it's being handled badly and you need to look in to doing something about that (removing from classes or school) if they can't or won't teach in an age appropriate way. There shouldn't be any consequences for your job but I expect the head teacher will ask why you're withdrawing your dc.

I do agree it makes it very difficult for you to take the children out if you work there. What job do you do there, by the way? I think in your position I would have a word with the teacher or headteacher and say that your DC is becoming upset by what he's being taught. You could also try reassuring your DC yourself that none of the purgatory stuff is true.

It partly depends on how happy and settled your DC are there otherwise - is the teaching good, do they have friends etc. If you really decide you want to take them out, then I would suggest a suitable white lie to the HT about why you're moving them.

Are you actually Catholic, do you take your children to mass? If you do then they are likely to come across these teachings at some point anyway. If you don't then withdraw them from the school and send them to a non catholic one if it bothers you that much. I wouldn't have thought they could sack you for it, check your employment contract but I doubt it will say you are obliged to send your children to that school.

I'm Anglican rather than Catholic, so I don't really know anything about what they might be learning re purgatory, but I think I'd start by talking to the teachers about the effect that it's having on the children before you go ahead and move schools. I can't think that a primary level teaching of Christianity should really have the effect of upsetting your children.

On the other hand, as I said, I'm a wishy-washy Anglican so what do I know?

My DC go to Catholic schools and I would be really cross if they came home worried and scared about RE lessons. I would be addressing the issue with the head.

But you've already made up your mind to move them, and I think that's fine. As a parent you don't have to give any reason for moving schools.

You certainly can't be sacked for removing your children from the school, but if the head knows why you've moved your children, he may well question whether you support the schools ethos. That's where you tell him you like working there, and are happy to support the school, but it's not what you and your DH want for your DC.