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Monday, November 7, 2016

WRITING...The next couple weeks I am take a bit of a break from posting again. I have some outside writing projects I am working on including some new blog post and an article for Youth Worker Journal,working up a whole new year of parent/family resource for Parent Ministry,and a few fresh posts for Youth Specialties.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

We all know the time honored phrase and what accompanies it,
“Why
are you hitting yourself?” It is
repeated by older siblings, classmates and others as they grab our hand,
overpower us, and beat us silly.

While it
may not happen physically to us, as we get older and stronger, it still does
sometimes happens in adulthood, even in ministry settings. It continues through
micromanagement and controlling leadership that beat us up emotionally,
socially and spiritually.

Here are some reasons to help you understand why it happens…

Context

A
micromanaging leader has been allowed to lead in that way.Due to success or relationships, they have
been empowered or embraced to lead in certain way because of a context of
perceived success.Others, who would
normally stand up against such a leadership style, are put in a situation where
they cannot in context to numbers, money, or influence.

Like
bullies on the playground, these leaders lead in this way, because they have
found a setting that allows it.

Control

Micromanagers are
controllers.Every opportunity where
they can feel in control they will take it.Whether it be double checking your presentation, choosing the paint
color of the offices, or handing out a long list of expectations, it all comes
down to feeling like they have control.Instead
of being allowed to accomplish something, you are slowed down or completely
stopped in making progress.

Like
the big brother that grabs your hand and turns it around to smack in the face
with it, these leaders need to feel like they are in control of your efforts.

Conceit

The danger for every leader, as
they move to a place of leading others, is a sense of pride.After being themselves humbled by failures
or experiencing limited success, they are finally given a position seen to mark their final success.These leader often having been micromanaged
by others in the past, turn around and respond in kind, when given a new role
leading you.Ministry can be both a
humbling and prideful leadership experience.

Like the little kid that has been push
around, that finally gets his growth spurt and finds himself bigger that those
around him, conceited leaders trap themselves in negative cycle of life.

Break the cycle, respond differently

and choose to be a different kind
of leader

when God blesses you with the opportunity

here is how...

Consideration

As a leader under another leader
or over another leader, make a choice to be considerate and humble in how you
will lead.While leading under another
leader, “offer your hand” to them and be willing to submit to their control
even if it seems uncomfortable.As a
leader leading other leader ask for their hand in guiding them to improvement
their area of ministry.

Relationships are about give and
take, and conceding to another.It also
applies to leadership relationships, when we make a concession to someone else
whether we lead under or over them.Changing the leadership model and style cycle in a church or
organization is done through offering your hand and your face without holding
back anything.

Luke 6:29, “If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to
them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt
from them.”

Conclusion

Like the advice we give the
students in our ministries or our own personal children, sometimes the best
conclusion is just to walk away.While
we need to be willing to be considerate and concede in a situation, sometimes
the final answer is the only answers, to draw a position to a conclusion and
move on.

Proverbs 14:7, “Leave the
presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge.”

This is what I, myself, have recent done moving on from the place I was serving to NOW be blessed to join a healthy, loving staff led by amazing, Godly men who too, have had their own stories of hurt but now choose to lead differently those they are over.

I praise God for these men who have encouraged me and inspired me over the past couple months to lead differently and lead better!

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

There are plenty of I-know-this-is-probably-not-a-good-idea moments as a parent -- those times when you let your child do something or eat something or play something that you think might not be the healthiest way to go.

Letting my then 19-month-old toddler watch television was one of those moments for me. As a reporter, I had done stories on kids and screen time and was well aware that the American Academy of Pediatrics discouraged screen time for babies under 2. But trying to nurse an infant while keeping a toddler entertained proved to be too much of a challenge at times. So while I tried my hardest to wait until my daughter was 2 before she met "Dora the Explorer" and "Doc McStuffins," I gave in and felt guilty about it, I might add.
But now comes word that I, and other parents, no longer should carry around such guilt about screen time because pediatricians are tweaking their long-standing recommendation for children younger than 2, as well as the recommendation that older children and teens get no more than two hours of recreational screen time a day.