Graphic of fertile crescent reads, “Route of the Macedonian troops guided by Alexander the Great. 11 years. Route of the Jews during the exodus guided by Yahweh. 40 years. When Yahweh guides your life, you don’t get anywhere.”

Politics never looked so pretty as Romney’s speech tonight to the Republican National Convention.

Firstly, the purpose of the speeches leading up to Romney was to mythologize him. These people are a bunch of Jesus-loving yahoos who love a myth more than anything. And if we don’t mythologize the deity, he’s not good enough.

Where’s the realism? No one can be a superhero like Romney.

Where’s the woman sitting on the toilet wiping her ass saying how crappy Romney is?

There’s not. Because we need positive notes.

Bullshit.

Romney’s making promises I haven’t heard since a junior high school student class election.

His speech is more than pathetic.

His rhetoric is just as juvenile.

If I went to the RNC, I’d ask for my money back.

We need a leader who is globally oriented, not overly patriotic and closed-mindedly American specific.

He’s a bullshit artist with a penchant for a religion that is egregiously idiotic.

If we could go to bed wrapped in god’s love? Have you read the bible?

The American dream is working our asses off so we can spend less time with our families?

No. Fuck no.

The American dream is spending less time at work, spending more time with our families, and stopping the madness that is working ourselves to the grave for no reason.

The Republican dream — according to the Republican leadership — is dead wrong.

We don’t want to work ourselves to oblivion. We want to soak up our families to bliss.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong!

I have a plan to create 12,000,000 new jobs, but I’m going to hold it back unless I become president.