Time to quit?

I am a grad student bartending at a place I’ve been at for 3 years. I am fast and efficient; I know that I have earned my shifts, and I am a solid employee. One of the owners has been dating another employee since she was hired. I was just told that I am losing a weekend shift to this employee because the owner wants her working behind the bar. The other bartender I worked with on that shift and I have to rotate nights. When I asked if the 3 of us could rotate the shift, I was told flatly “No.” This is money coming directly out of my pocket, going into the pocket of someone who is FAR less qualified and less deserving of the shift than I am. Is it time to pack up and move on? Is this slap in the face something worth leaving over? What do we do?

Move on.

That’s easy for me to say. I don’t know your financial situation, how much money you make at this place and whether or how quickly you could find a similar position. But if the owner is willing to cut your income in half by forcing you to rotate weeks, he doesn’t have your interests in mind, just his own groin. Unless your reduced income is still more than you think you’d be able to make elsewhere, it’s time to quit. And make sure all of the bosses know why.

I have intimate knowledge of this situation, and it is so BS it makes me sick. The Grad student who wrote this letter is an exceptional bartender. She works hard, is fast and makes some of the best drinks in the area. The “bartender” she was replaced with may some day turn out to be of the same caliber. As of now, she is quite slow, does not know how to make many of the drinks i and friends have ordered, and often times has a blank stare as if she is lost behind the bar. Why someone would replace a talented, efficient worker with one who is the total opposite is beyond me.
On a side note: I used to run my own business and the one rule i followed very strictly was “never date, sleep with, or touch in anyway, ANY employees.” If you own a bar, you can get many girls/guys just because of your position. There is no need to ever sacrifice your business, or hurt established employees just to get a little action

I remember hearing a similar story about a certain brewpub in Glens Falls a few years back. One waitress was dating the owner and when they got engaged, she was promoted to manager. Not sure of the exact timeline of events since I heard it secondhand, but I know there were several other waiters/waitresses that felt they were just as qualified and were quite upset that the position was never actually posted as being open for them to apply for.

This is an all too common mistake managers/owners make. In any business there are two sets of customers: internal (employees) and external (patrons). For a business to run at its most efficient, the two groups need to be considered in most decisions. This particular example hurts both. Employee moral and competence in a service orientated business is especially important as it is very transparent to the customers. When I go to a bar/restaurant the service is as important to me as the product I consume. If I have an unhappy or under-qualified waiter/waitress the experience is generally not up to standard. Happy, qualified employees = Happy customers = higher profits.

hell yes tell him you quit, you don’t need to take that from T– I mean your boss. There is a serious shortage of good experienced bartenders downtown, and he knows that. I’m sure you have regulars that will stop coming if you leave, he knows that as well.

This seems to happen a lot in the bar/restaurant industry. If you can replace those hours at another establishment, do it. If not, hang in there. The owner dating the other employee probably won’t last.

i have worked in the food industry for many years. I have seen this problem before. The owner takes an interest in one of his employees and the rest of the staff is forced to suffer. With dealing with this in the past, i am sure to say that this is probably just the tip of the iceberg. I bet that if we got a chance to talk to some of the other bar employees that they also probably feel slighted. I personally feel that the owner of this bar either:
1. Doesn’t give a damn about his employees
2. Has no idea how to separate his personal life from his business
3. Doesn’t care about running a successful business and making money
There is no CEO in the world that would hire a an under qualified employee to replace someone that has a proven track record. This is crazy.I really think that the owner of this bar should sit down and think about what is important, having a successful business and happy employees or having a relationship, that in reality will never last.
I guess this is up to the owner. I hope for the writers sake he makes the correct business and moral decision.

Dating employees is never a good idea because this type of thing inevitably ends up happening. If the new bartender is truly qualified (and judging by the previous posts, that sounds like a big “if”) the owner should use some of his industry connections and get her a job at a different establishment. Regardless, you should bolt if you don’t get your shift back.

Well, well, well. It’s about time someone from this establishment spoke up!! Do you have any idea how absolutly ridiculous this particular owner looks….and it’s a shame that the other owner is going to be painted with the same brush if he doesn’t do something to stop the first!! He has become the laughing stock of the business weather he’s aware of it or…it’s true!!
This bar began with class and stood out among the places surrounding it. Now…it has become just the same. Loosing this bartender is just one more monumental mistake in management!!

I guess what it boils down to is, is this owner willing to take the hit to his and his partner/s business in order to keep his relationship with this other employee going? Business is Business and should never be mixed with pleasure. What happens when this relationship goes South? Are the other owners willing to take this hit as well? What do the rest of the employees at this place think? I will make a bet that there is some animosity going on. And I said animosity, not jealousy, big differnce in this case. Are there special previlges being given BESIDES shifts that this person apparently does not deserve? I think the mistake that Bar Owners make is that they often hire great looking people who “ACT” the part instead of hiring good employees who can actually run a bar, bring in potential business and have knowledge of drinks. If you cannot identify the different types of alcohol that you are mixing, or make inferior beverages, you should not be behind that bar and in the long run business will go elsewhere and the Owners will lose money and either have to adapt or close. Every bar has gorgeous women in it. What I want is a personalble barkeep who makes a great drink. Is there a bar that can make that happen in this area? If so I have not found it.

My advice is, if the bar owner/owners want to keep good employees, they will make the right decision in the end. It may be too late to keep this employee however. Hopefully this As the World Turns episode ends quickly and positively so we can drink in peace once again.

mmmm…. I know for a fact that I know who is who in this particular situation. lets go with the facts shall we……
1. The employer should never date the employee
2. This particular bartender who was given your shift couldnt make a martini or even a simple mixed drink to save her (under 21) life.
3. Last time she tried to handle a shift- numerous drinks were sent back = loss of business and would-be return customers.
4. she clearly lacks personality and life experience
5. you are much better looking!
…. And those are just a few of them folks. My advice to you is do what your heart tells you- if its time to leave, only you can make that choice. Either way we all love you and will show up where ever you work!

I am 100% sure now, who the involved people, and the establishment in question are. I think everybody knows, since albany is a small place and it is a unique situation. BTW the particular owner is the laughing stock of the people in the “know”.
That place started out great and I and many others became regulars quickly. It was unique in Albany and it was booming.
But about 2 years ago it started going down the drain and that is very noticable. Now it is same as the place right next door. And the owner in question, together with the staff are to blame(this is not only my opinion but of many that frequent that area’s bars).
you should leave if they don’t give you your shift back. That girl is a terrible waitress and will be an even worse bartender, while you are the favorite of many a patron.
She is not even that hot. If (on my hotness scale) you are 7/10 she would barely be a 4. Not to mention the girl has the wrong personality for that business and might be underage.
I am sure they will beg you to come back.

OMG!?!I’m so sorry…personally nor professionally have I ever experienced such a thing& I too bartended my way thru grad school&how awful of a position uve been put in and not only does it effect u but the people who luv u,the other bartender losing shifts now too&.. (I’m sure they payed their dues as well& ur fellow employees&if this guy has a partner/partners)…now their livelyhood&well-being is put in jeopardy as well?!Im well beyond my days of bartending&work as a professional in the field of business ethics&this goes against every single concept,and experience I have?!the implications of such an ignorant compulsive decision&its impact on employee moral goes hand in hand w/the overall revenue for the bar as a whole! its so sad that, one person can destroy an entire business by thinking w/the wrong head literally&why such a person who’d make a decision like that isn’t running a fortune500 company. Hope things turnout in yours and the bars favor cause losing an asset like yourself will cost them money and reputation. Good luck!!!

I have worked for the food industry before and currently am a VP for a World Wide Business….Simply put…You don’t mix business with pleasure…And it seems as if the owner who is dating the employee is thinking with the wrong head…
As stated in many of the posts here…You own a bar…You are in a position to meet plenty of beautiful women just because…Do you really want to put your lively hood in danger…As well as that of your partners to appease a relationship which will probably never last anyway? Do you want to scar the name of the bar…Which I must say in my humble opinion is one of the classiest bars in Albany…Hopefully the owner(s) will have a sit down and decide that this is NOT the right choice.

It happens all too often unfortunately, especially in the restaurant business. I personally wouldn’t quit without having another job and you are still working some shifts. Explain your situation to some of your best customers and friends that you can trust and tell them you are interested in other employment. Ask them for some recommendations of other places where you might be a good fit and set up meetings with those hiring managers. Or, you could be upfront with your owners (both of them or whoever you are supposed to be communicating with) and tell them that you are looking for another job because you can’t afford to lose a shift. The cream rises to the top eventually.
And try not to burn any bridges, even if they are screwing you (and the other bartender…sorry couldn’t help it.)

Bad Bartending = bad business
not too tough to figure out….. or is it?
Lets all just hope that the other owner can talk some sense into his partner before he runs this place down the drain!
Losing this bartender is by far a mistake, and the amount of money that comes in will prove that.

Very dissapointing to hear this situation. This owner who is obviously being blinded will see losing a valuable bartender will not only hurt his business, it will also set a bad presendence among his fellow employees. Dating among a bar is not uncommon between workers but between a boss and worker is seriously unprofessional. Some poeple obviously don’t have there priorities straight and in the end he will probably be left for the next bar owner by his gold digging companion. I much rather get my drink by an experienced bartender then some bimbo anyday. good luck.

Honestly, I could care less who is dating or sleeping whom. I mean, let’s be honest this is not the first time a bar owner has given great shifts to his or her GF or BF. There is another prime example right in downtown Albany, except he decided that he was above the law and tried to do whatever he wanted and eventually got shut down. (PEARL) My question to the owner is am I going to get a good drink for the money I am paying and it sounds like, I won’t. If that is indeed the case then why would I, any of my friends, or anyone else go to this bar? Is this bartender hot enough that I would put up with sub-par drinks? Doubtful. I don’t think that type of Bartender exists in Albany. What happened to hiring Bartenders? Real life bartenders who can carry a conversation, make a great drink, suggest different types of drinks….. Honestly, there is no reason for me or my friends to go out downtown. Lark street has FAR superior Bartenders than downtown. I honestly would like to know what bar or bar owner this is so I can avoid this place, and they can avoid me having to complain about horrible service. (Little Help Anyone?)

P.S. I like the comment someone made “If she is indeed a good bartender, use your connections to get her a job in another establishment”, BUT in the bar scene, you might lose her since she will be out of eye sight and around other bar employees not working for this owner.

Think about your business, there is lots of attractive, single women who would love to date a bar owner out there.

I’ve been out of the Albany scene for a little while now. But, having read this, I kind of wonder if I know this particular owner. Or if I may’ve worked for him. Can any of the folks who’re certain they’re in the know just give me the teensiest hint of who it is? I just need to know…

I had an owner do something similar to me so i let it play out. The new bartender was horrific and their drawer had to be at least 1k light compared to what i traditionally earned for the place. Before i lost my 3rd shift i was back on top so it was time. Teach the owner a lesson before you quit! Give away the bar, leave with out closing no alarms no locks and hahaha sucks to be the jerk owner. Sounds like your a female and good on the bar so you will be gainfully employed shortly after leaving because there aren’t many of you

I will not post any comments that guess at the name of the business involved, name it outright or otherwise suggest it by supplying obvious details/hints or rhymes. While a number of commenters seem to know which bar/restaurant employs the writer of the question, she never named it, nor even where it is located.

I’m doing this for two at least reasons: 1) I don’t want people making incorrect guesses and sullying the names of other bars/restaurants that are not involved; and 2) if one place gets named repeatedly, I’d be obligated to contact the owners for comment, and the issue would become a referendum on them and their establishment, not a discussion of the original question. Getting the owners involved likely would cost the questioner her job, and in fairness I’d also have to name her.

I allowed a comment above about a similar situation at another business, and it was clear which place was being referred to. I shouldn’t have done that, and won’t repeat the mistake. This wasn’t intended as a “Guess who?”-style blind item in a gossip column; it was a career question, submitted by an anonymous person, and I’d like it to stay anonymous and abstract.

I know the Owner is reading this blog and would hope that he will see why dating one of his employees won’t work from a “Business Point”. Mixing sex and alcohol is great….. But mixing sex with business isn’t. Let’s hope in the next few weeks that he makes some positive decisions so that this issue doesn’t put a strain on his partnership. Both Owners are great guys and their bar is a flag ship in downtown.

a few years back I too owned a bar up north with my partner (best friend at the time). He dated several employees from time to time, but it went to far one time and bit us both. As many times as I told him not to date employees he didn’t listen. This exact situation happend when he thought he finally met the one and started giving her multiple shifts during the best hours. Finally it came to the point where all of the rest of the employees started slacking off and not even showing up for shifts because of the unfair treatment. You cannot run a successful business like this. Eventually word will spread and your other good employees will start quitting or just ‘throwing their game’ for a lack of better wording. To make a long story short our bar had to be shut down because nobody wanted to work in an environment like this and also nobody wanted to come to an establishment that didn’t have good hard working employees. When people come into a bar they just want to have a good time and not worry about anything. They don’t want to complain about bad service or bad drinks.

Our partnership is no longer and the same goes for our friendship. Hopefully this owner will figure something out before the same thing happens to them.

It seems clear this decision is being made by a manager/owner who is extremely insecure in his ability to keep this “girlfriend” happy, without giving her the shifts. I can imagine the conversation played out something like this: “Oh my god….if you don’t put me behind the bar I’m going to quit and go find another bar to work at where my new boyfriend (owner of new bar) will give me the shift I want”. Slawwwwwwwww!

It’s all about wiggle, giggle and jiggle in the bar tending business now days whenever females are the workers. Face it, she won this one. If you like the job, then you should stay and wait it out. If you leave and the owners realize that they are losing money on her shift, they’ll just replace her with someone else. I’m sure there will be 50 – 60 other chicks waiting in line. Good luck.

Clearly the guy’s not getting it done in the sack and has to resort to these pathetic means to try and keep her happy. Within 3 months he’ll probably catch her mid thrust in the walk in with the strapping young bar back!

You are right to be upset, but don’t allow the bs of the situation to upset or consume you.

Work through the holidays, pick up extra shifts and make as much money as you can. Reel in your holiday spending and look for another job. January is a better time to walk away from a restaurant job because it’s slow anyway — you won’t be leaving a prime money-making opportunity. (Beware, this may also make it more difficult to find another bartending job, but stay positive.)

After New Year’s Eve, politely AND CALMLY give your two weeks notice and sincerely thank your employers for the opportunity to work for them for the past three years. Wish them the very best. At that point, they will realize their mistake and have regrets, and you will have walked away from the situation on higher ground. (In that you are such a loyal employee, they likely doubted you would leave even if a shift was taken away from you, which is why they risked doing it in the first place.)

The employee who is being given the shift(s) is not at fault here and comments towards her should not be negative. Put yourself in her shoes. She is doing what most would to get ahead. The owner is the one making a mistake that will not only effect his business financially, but also create an atmosphere in which employee loyalty is non-existent. In a time when Downtown Albany is hurting for customers, this move just does not make any business sense.

#47, You clearly do not have any clue who the parties involved are. The owner is not a married man and never has been. He is actually a pretty good guy that happens to be blinded by love or lust. Happens all the time.

@ 33, LMAO I was going to say that. Saddest part of this whole thing, the pig is married with kids!!! The bartneder should call his wife and tell her she got replaced for his girlfriend….hahahahaha. and it sounds like burt is in on it..hes sticking up for the owner and the sucky new bartender…hahahaha

You might as well quit now, because you’re not gonna get any shifts after the owners read this blog. This is so childish. People should fix thier problems face-to-face, not drag everyone’s name through the mud in public!

I guess because enough people have come to such wildly different conclusions it sort of throws out Barnes’ arguments about the dangers therein. As such, if we’re talking all the way downtown, per se…or someone who was definitely never married; then I have no idea of who the owner might be. But I would definitely like it if the person I’m thinking of could, somehow, be ruled out…

But to bring this into the abstract, & somewhat of a different take, please consider: There’s some competing demands that go into what makes a good or great bartender and, depending on the type of establishment or clientele, it’s often hard to fairly prioritize one criteria over another as follows: looks/innate personal & sexual attractiveness, personality & professional demeanor, physical speed, peripheral vision, organization/cleanliness, efficiency/productivity/quality in side-work, mixology, formal service experience, work ethic/motivation/coachability, honesty/integrity, teamwork & leadership, ect…and, lest we forget, LOYALTY/SUBORDINANCE (<-more on this below)

And it just goes on and on… And I've noticed a few things with respect to all of that. First, the very best, the type that, over the long-haul, tends to bring in the most money for the owner on a consistent basis, that's actually best at building clientele on the whole, & that's most versatile, is someone who's at least above average in potentially every area as opposed to anyone who's "the best" in any given area. And folks who have developed a lot or have very high stock in one particular area tend to over-estimate its importance to what they do and, by inference, tend to consider themselves more valuable to the business than they actually are.

Ohhh JoJo you have some much growing up to do. Airing her grievances this way only save time from having to be passed through the grape-vine a 100 more times,since this story already so well know by many even before this post. If you were only smart enough not to have dated the Owner in the first place this issue would never have restorted to such public scrutiny…And from what I hear, this bartender has been cheating on the owner…

So, also, unless an existing employee is both truly well-rounded and beyond exceptional, owners/managers will generally take them for granted. Because, let’s face it, grad student or not, most people are in this industry for such a short time anyway; that the person who takes the effort to leave one position for the same very position somewhere else, with no real guarantee of more money, is, by far, the exception to the rule. Especially in this economy. As such, you’ll see owners/managers hiring for qualities that complement their existing staff: they pair a piece of eye-candy with someone who’s less attractive but actually knows how to run the bar; they put someone who’s (maybe a little too) good with customers with someone they trust more, they put someone older & more reliable, who’s really popular with the old-timers, with someone younger who might bring in new people, etc.. And these types of employees are always easier to find, replace, and efficiently integrate into the business as it exists, rather than to poach someone else’s “grade A” professional bartender.

This is so childish. All of these comments are inaccurate. The owner is a phenomenal person and a great aspect to this bar. Also the girl who is being talked about, brings a great amount of business into this bar. This is wrong to wrongly assume things about people you don’t even know. The bartender who wrote this should stop being so jealous and suck it up. One shift isn’t going to be that big of a deal. Also sooner or later someone else is going to take your shifts weather it is this girl or another girl. I personally think you should be fired.

Why does it seem that no one can “handle” their problems on their own anymore? What did you hope to accomplish by posting this on here? If it was securing your position, I’m pretty sure you did the exact opposite. If it was causing a bunch of nonsense for everyone at your place of employment, I’m pretty sure you accomplished that. Grow up. Do you plan on airing all of your problems at your next employer on the web as well? If so, employer beware. I wouldn’t hire you if you made the best drink in the area. Who needs the headache. How’s about next time you sit down and discuss your problem with your boss (or bosses) instead of running around like a little school girl and causing grief for everyone involved.

Dan (#57)—”One shift isn’t going to be that big of a deal” Are you serious? Have you ever bartended? If this guy is getting a weekend shift taken away from an underage girl that happens to sleep with the owner, sure it’s a big deal.

That “one shift” a week probably equals out to $800/month. Or in terms you can better understand, the guys rent and car payment each month!! (Try to do the math with YOUR line of work and see if someone took 1/3 of your money, you’d be fine with it!) lol

Let’s hope the business this girl (she’s not 21 right?) brings in is OF age!

See, I’m trying to be objective here, or looking for a way to see the owners’ side of things; and here, people like “Dan” (#57) and “Outside Looking” (58) are, albeit unintentionally, persuading me out it.

Dude(s), it’s a bar/restaurant…not a matter of national security. Yeah, ideally, one wouldn’t blog about their boss or job. But the whole “Discretion is the better part of valor”-argument just points right back at the boss’ behavior (both; since silence, on an issue like this, equals agreement), i.e if the owner is, at all, the type of the person who thinks about how things are perceived, why would he date an employee!?!

Besides, the LW’s only describing a very common situation and asking, on an abstract level, how to interpret it. It’s the commentators that are reading into it, & with the degree of specificity that it must pertain to them or someone they know. Now, assuming Barnes has done his homework in seeing that the comments aren’t all from the same IP, you have to at least consider that those who claim to be ‘in the know’ are either employees or customers or both. Obviously, the customer(s) can’t be wrong. So you can just hope it’s only employees; but, at or beyond a certain point, if the employees are divided on this, it really reflects on the owner as much as anyone else…

Also, what’s up with all this ambiguously-vague faint-praise (“The owner is a phenomenal person and a great aspect to this bar.”)for the owner!? Believe me, that ain’t helpin’ Just makes it sound like he’s dealing with some sort of intellectual disability.

Why would someone ever post this on a local blog? If this woman valued her job she wouldn’t have announced the intimate details of her bosses life in to the community of Albany (ethically wrong or not). She obviously has no respect for the owner nor the business. Most of the post on the site are of people who know the poster and are sugar coating this for her because they are emotionally involved.

If I were this woman I would be extremely concerned with my future career goals in the local area. This was a passive aggressive move on her behalf and she should be ashamed (as an educated female). I would never hire or recommend someone like this- in any field.

Good luck.

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