A Template for Every Trump Tell-All Book Review

[Former Trump Administration staffer] first met Donald Trump at [vaguely shady Trump Organization event in year starting with 19]. The two quickly bonded over liking [type of food popular with sixth graders,] and after spending the 2016 presidential campaign doing a [probably illegal thing], Trump took [him or her (most likely him)] to the White House to serve as his [job title you had never heard of before this administration].

The relationship was strong at first but soured after [former staffer] expressed support for [thing that Trump forgot to tell him he didn’t like anymore] in an interview with [white journalist]. After weeks of being taunted as [misspelled derogatory nickname on Twitter], [former staffer] left the administration and has recently come out with an explosive tell-all book about his time there, entitled [Two Words Both Associated With Destruction].

The book paints a picture of a president who is undisciplined, unfocused and ignorant even of [thing you wouldn’t expect a president to be ignorant of]. In one of its most intense passages, it recounts a cabinet meeting where Trump allegedly said [racist thing that was leaked To BuzzFeed three weeks ago]. The remark has drawn widespread condemnation from [groups who already did not like Trump], while [groups who already liked Trump] have remained steadfast in their support of the president.

Readers will come away from the book with an impression of a White House that is run [exactly how it seems on the news every day —maybe even a little bit more chaotic but not by a wide margin or anything]. [Former staffer] took full advantage of his access to the president to pepper his book with several scintillating details, such as [anecdote about Trump not working very hard] and [anecdote about Trump being rude to a foreign leader].

The book does not paint a completely damning picture of the Trump Administration, however. [Former staffer] offers praise for [people who worked on an obscure issue that will help him pay less in taxes], and he describes Trump’s ability to do [skill that is normally not considered positive] as unparalleled.

But Trump himself has still come out swinging against the book and the [former staffer], describing him as [“slightly meaner version of previously used derogatory nickname”] on Twitter and lambasting several of the book’s more explosive anecdotes as fake news. Members of the president’s administration, including [staffer portrayed unflatteringly in the book] and [staffer mad he was barely in the book], have attacked it as inaccurate as well.

The self-identified “Resistance” to the Trump Administration, meanwhile, has embraced the book and [former staffer] wholeheartedly, choosing to ignore his past work in [unethical industry] and his close ties to [corrupt leader of another country]. This has led to critiques of the Resistance as hypocritical from [people who they don’t care about and will never listen to].

[Former staffer] recently defended his book in an interview with [minority journalist], while also revealing [additional Trump Administration anecdote that he hyped up a lot but really wasn’t that much worse than the other stuff in the book]. While he said he had been a longtime Trump fan, he finally reached his breaking point with the president after he did [thing that is pretty comparable to lots of other things he had already done].

“It was at that moment when I realized that I could not stay silent anymore, for both [selfish reason] and [altruistic reason that is still pretty selfish”], [former staffer] said. “Hopefully this book will finally give the American people an accurate and above all unique perspective on what is really going on in Washington.”