[Pretty much all you need to do for this is write 5 things, these can be peoples names, places, emotions, a film title, song title, band, anything that sums up your day, do it each day on your listography for a year, copy and paste this at the top of the list so people know what this list is all about. My Start Date: 04/06/2017.]

APRIL

06: wow, it's been one full year since i started doing the 5 things • no coffee this morning • apparently i gained three pounds, so now i weight the most i've ever weighed and it's raining so it's not like i can work out • finished watching rick and morty • i've been making hexagons when i was supposed to be making pentagons, at least there's only 11 and i'm decreasing, so i can reuse the yarn • dinner • kfc • 711 • i was like "ima diet" and look at me now, guess i'd better start running and doing 7 minute workouts but do i really want to? • oh, i want him and he's an asshole!

09: tried to watch some of the gp but got sleepy • pip threw up at 4.20 am • slept till noon • run, pain, but got some great pictures on the walk back • finished the grand prix, yay lewis • why am i so tired? • can't sleep • took out some random yarn and made some hexagons because why the fuck should i NOT start a new project

10: made a mandala • took a lot of pictures • walked home from rite-aid and it was hot • nap • mussels for dinner • a bit of crochet • every night, i'm like "is it too early to go to sleep?"

12: FEELING LIKE SHIT • smoked and took my meds and feel better • twitch and grumps and twitch all day, while i fight internally • straightened my hair and it's long, and of course he hates it, but whatever

13: migraine this morning at 12 • back pain like holy shit • sat outside and crocheted for an hour but the pain brought me inside • had to take 800 mgs of ibuprofen, a xanax, weed, and a heating pad to get to sleep • now i'm awake and still in pain but it's manageable • how the fuck did my mom live like this • joint

14: still in pain, what the fuck • crochet • ibuprofen • sleep • figured out what i'm going to do with dad's and s's blankets: completely redo • read an article on why "staying together for the kids" is worse, and WOW that hit home • stayed up till 3

15: slept almost all day • a lot of back pain • is this just life now? • pizza • i just want to finish my blanket but my back • kendrick lamar is amazing

16: easter • bahrain grand prix • sleep • it's fucking hot as shit

17: mild back pain, went away last night; it just feels like my back needs to crack • some crochet • sleep and a fight over the damn fan • sometimes i want him out but i realize i'm overreacting, but i should still talk to my therapist about it • we got some good weed because my back doesn't hurt •

19: got up early to get blood taken but decided not to • went to best buy and got a new computer (!!!) • sleep • got sullivan • this weed makes me so high i can't crochet • this computer is so amazing • so many emotions about computer • pizza • lazy days

20: blaze it • crocheted in the morning • could not take a damn nap • 420 at 420 • kfc • nap again? no dice • went to sleep at like 8

22: feeling sickish • some twitch and crochet, but mostly sleep all day • and when i'm sick i have plans, such as the african flower catnip pillows and the new exercise scheme i'll start tomorrow; who knows if i'll actually stick with it

23: pip woke me up at 7 • woke at 9 • did my exercise scheme, and it's not too bad, i think i can keep up with it • wegmans • feeling meh, but i'd rather feel meh after doing something (like running) than feeling meh from not doing anything (depression meh) • does that even make sense •

24: migraine • pho • finally felt better at night

25: mom said my face looked bright but i don't want to work out or call any of the people i have to so... • managed to work out and i'm hot but feeling okay • running/walking in the rain is great, it's so tranquil and there's no one else out • took sully to the clinic and he has flu b •

26: exercise • crochet • picked up

27: did a lot of calls and i have no spoons left lol • workout • frogged my dad's blanket alllllllllllllll day • ate a fuck ton

28: migraine • thank god for naked juice

29: hot af today, no workout • stayed up till 4am playing terraria

30: sleepy • it's like 80 degrees and i have no shorts to work out in :\ • been attacking myself all day • couldn't crochet • managed to work out • celebrated by getting a mickyds sundae, what the fuck ever •

MAY

01: exhausted • started aniMAY • worked out a little, but i thought it was going to rain so i came home early but it's 9.15 and it hasn't rained yet -_- • a lot of terraria today • how am i going to make $100 last all month • eodm and mastodon tomorrow guyez

02: dicked around • took me a long time to get ready because fuck cat eyeliner • long talks on the way to the fillmore • panera • russian circles • EAGLES OF DEATH METAL • a bit of mastodon • a great time, i really need to hang out with my friend mike more, he's a great guy • MIGHT be going to see gorillaz

03: exhausted • finished kill la kill and i have a lot of feels about it • picked up • actually listened to rdgldgrn and they're really good and i want to go to that show now and i might have to go alone :\ • picked up • smoked with a friend and risky biznu cops • hotcakes •

04: depressed • can't concentrate • migraine

05: feeling a bit better • tried to work out but overexerted myself • thank god for weed •

13: woke early • ikea • delivery tomorrow! • clean, clean, clean • have a breakdown, which at first take out on sully until he asks what the fuck is wrong and then you cry but he holds you and pats your hair so actually everything is okay • were you actually crying because he moved? • switched rooms, btw • he has his own room • no time to sleep! • rdgldgrn • i'm sad i didn't get to hang out with corey/the band/the after-party • now i'm overthinking he doesn't like me • pah, stop it

14: hfs i am exhaust • watch the race? no • watch the last 10 laps • make scones? no • put bed together • get confused over things • it's not even finished fiona's? no • chilis • happy mother's day, i'm not done your gift or grandmas • i want to get gud with deadlines after today i'm going to make every single one • and from last night, when i thought he didn't like me? pah, he text me, i think wanting to hang out but i was honestly busy! but kewl •

17: finished gurren lagann • weave in ends wednesday • made some progress on my mom's mother's day bird and i fucking hate it so she's not getting anything for mother's day • let's just focus on her birthday and making something good • starbucks • can't make it to therapy, basically got dressed and ready to go to starbucks • got sullivan • made some cajun shrimp with garlic parmesan cheese sauce for dinner • vape store • tried to roll a backwood and failed • get out

18: working on the lanturn cross stitch • wish i could stream, but i get second thoughts (am i not talented/pretty/interesting???) • needle threader broke = no more cross stitch • made some more shrimp and had two dinners

19: woke at 8.30 • michael's! and now i have all the yarn i need for christmas presents, it's so good to have that done in may • nap • made an amazing dinner, i might post the recipe • hung out with corey

21: woke up early to get stuff done • exercised • rite-aid and total wine • organized organizational book • nap • crochet • got slammed with emotions • another nap • made dinner • i thought i'd be productive but i'm just depressed and can't go to sleep because i'm waiting to get weed so what do i doooo • klonopin + ash hits + 60s music = feelin ok • got my weed

22: woke at 8 wowee • had to go to 711 because i had no coffee • a bit of cross stitch • starbucks • sully to work • safeway • cicada friend • exercise • nap • dinner • short talk with sully, didn't really get anywhere

24: took sully to work • had anxiety, mom didn't want to go to doctor's either • took sully pepto bismal • hot bagel, and they gave me an everything bagel by mistake and honestly changed my life • weave in ends wednesday • bought a webcam! so close to streaming • picked up sully • he dropped me off at the metro station and i walked home • best buy runs and dinner • smoking and of course that's why i'm paranoid but eugh • and then he was talking to two girls, but honestly, why am i jealous? he doesn't have feelings for me, there's no hope! i need to just get over it, and i know that takes time

25: waking up early means monaco free practice 2 and crochet • rickmobile by myself • got pictures! check instagram • einstein brothers bagels • wal*mart • sat outside for like 5 minutes before the cats wanted to come in • making a magic ball instead of working on projects but oh the fuck well • pizza and 10 minutes into prometheus and chill and i felt horrible so i laid down, around 6.30 • didn't wake up till sully got home with goodies at 11 • smoked • slept

26: woke at 8, so i slept like 14 hours • migraine • finished the magic ball and twitch • nap with relpax and xanax • felt like shit • chinese food • crochet and game grumps • picked up • more crochet and game grumps •

30: crochet and game grumps • was going to see john but he fucked me over • picked up • smoked myself silly

31: speedrun wegman's at 7 am • tried to work on hexagons • couldn't concentrate and went for a run • started nora's bunny but it's too small so she's not getting it • translated mandala pattern • chili's • forced myself to stay awake to pickup my dad

12: xwater is still streaming, how tf am i going to be able to do a stream like that, whatever, we worry about that l8r • said goodbye to dan and gave him the lanturn • feeling like shit • got a picture with dan and i look high as shit whatever • off and on stream practice/crochet • it's hot af and i want to walk but it's like 90 degrees

14:CHANGED MY LIFE ON JUNE FOURTEENTH • it's runsixblank day, the day where we celebrate a local band from high school • took daddy to work & 711 • took sully to work & 711 • grandkeys on twitch and crochet • nap • feeling foggy • more grandkeys on twitch and crochet • gonna finish this damn blanket today

16: wove in ends all day • 2 naps • exercised for the first time all week and boy do i feel great • ancient aliens

17: no lavender festival • nap and i feel like shit • walk • sushi!!! • hyperspin, you mean I CAN PLAY BANJO-KAZOOIE? • let's hope this works because i want to play n64 games on my computer holy shit •

18: accidentally cancelled the rocketlauncher thing so it took all day to dl • breakfast • exhausted and basically slept all day, missing a lot of father's day, but that's ok because leaving my dad alone is probably what he wanted

20: sick and exhausted all day • started american gods • pho • webcam arm came in!

21: still sick and exhausted • cancelled psychiatrist • doctor's appointment tomorrow • i have roms, now i need mame for this damn...fucking hyperspin, this had better be worth it • basically slept all day • IT MIGHT BE ANEMIA • an adverse side effect of zoloft is iron deficiency anemia • ate a cheeseburger and i feel FABULOUS

26: literally slept all day • i'm so tired of being tired • given up on june deadlines

27: still tired • when will it end • GOT QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE TICKETS • he is gonna take me to his show :3 • arwen made this weird growl noise at pip, it was intense; cats are weird • walk • waiting for mom with the bagels • we got jimmy johns

30: short time with relatives before they left • sleep • ancient aliens and chill • feeling so much better, but i had a panic attack so those are on the rise since my antideps are down, but like, can't i just get a decent medicine??? • just wanna get laid

JULY

01: woke early • walk • catching up on temperature blanket • alien: covenant and people were talking the whole damn time i was so angry

02: overworked myself on the walk • crochet • hidden figures

03: took sullivan to work • nap • shopping • nap • walk

04: walk to shoppers • cleaned • short nap • walk again • lato in manassas • he wanted to spend time with me! • lost my fit bit >:(

05: woke at 5am on the dot with a hangover headache, took meds and chugged gatorade, which was the worst thing i could have done because then i puked but whatever i've just had a migraine all day • angry (not at me) sully to work • michaels • forever 21 • jcpennys • eye exam & new glasses • picked up • nap • watched a bit of alien: covenant with mom but they took down the good quality one and the other good quality one made you subscribe halfway through the film • iota open mic night to see wes • mike came with justina but whatever she lives in cali • honestly he's giving me some signs • we'll see how friday goes • it's v hard not to have expectations or get excited gdi • still nursing this dang blasted hangover

06: took daddy to metro • psychiatrist appt: i'm stable and have to get a new psychiatrist • sleep •

11: not going with mom to her appointment :\ • amazon prime day = bought headset, last piece of equipment to begin streaming (!!!) • errands • vape store • weed party • left early because person i went with was being a fuck • then he decided at 3 am he wished i would have stayed *eye roll* • too late

12: pool • made a mistake with mike but remedied (thanks overthinking) and we are good • nap • i'm sunburnt • life

13: ok, fuck the zoloft, each time i take it i'm more tired • pool again • naked tacos • who looks up porn on a shared account on a public computer, c'mon, if i have fucking virus i'm going to be so pissed • late night pick up • late night crochet

15: woke at 5 to needy cats • finished Scarf • kenilworth aquatic gardens • nap time, plus time to overthink because mike hasn't replied what time he's getting me but it's like him to not reply for a while but not like him to not reply; i'm just anxious because (a) anxiety and (b) it's a festival that starts at 4ish and idk what time he has to be there and last weekend i had like an hour to get ready end rant. • no nap rn because it's PHO TIME • amazing festival • amazing afterparty • mike is just amazing ღ

16: breakfast at city kitchen with mike • hangover? so nap • potstickers • long chats with mom •

07: walk • nap • grandma to urgent care but they won't take her insurance so we have to go to her doctor's walk in later • nap • grandma's doctor = prednisone, and they don't know what her rash is • cute pharmacist i would have given him my number but we're 8 hours away ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ • neon sushi • walk • it's almost 8 and i'm about to go to sleep again, what an old fuck • home tomorrow!

08: after being up at 4, finally woke at the intended 7am • packed • bye grandma • taxi driver is moving to san diego and is going to write a book about his experiences being a taxi driver before he goes back into real estate, as an appraiser • flight • hi mom • panera • weed • ok this high is underwhelming • nap • jfc, cats • smoked again, and i'm like meh • lol •

12: five hours of sleep, ok • temperature blanket • walk with sully, plus picking up and saw an Asshole at the vape store • chili's • a joint • going through photos

13: more photo work • getting ready for TWITCH TOMORROW • rick and morty party

14: TWITCH TODAY • it went well! • got trolled but oh well • sleep

15: tired • granny square day • "this weed will last until the weekend," she thought, but even though she'd been in a bunch of therapy she didn't remember healthy coping mechanisms, so she stayed high • what am i even coping with??? • i guess i'm depressed for no reason/background depression • maybe i should up my anti-depressants, is it weird i'm in control of them?

16: don't feel like doing a damn thing • got really paranoid and almost deleted this list O_O • meh day • panic attack at vein clinic • nap • migraine • bought some coping mechanisms • it's only been 2 days and he'll be gone for two weeks wtf