Singleness & Relationships

So I recently got engaged! Like any future bride, I’m so excited to start planning the wedding. But, the more I write down what we need, the more I realize, “Wow, weddings are expensive!!”. Luckily for me, God has blessed me with many creative abilities so I intend to DIY as much as I can!

But not everyone has that ability and these costs can quickly add up. So, I’ve decided to put together a monthly $5 Invitation Suite Deal-for the bride that wants something beautiful without breaking the bank. It’s something that I’ve wanted to do for a few months now but I guess my engagement gave me more drive to launch it!

So….here’s the plan! Every month I will put together 5 Wedding Collections, each for only $5. The collection will include: Save the Date, Invitation, Details Card, RSVP Card, and Thank You Card.

Most five piece digital invitation suites start from $20–and that’s with you editing it yourself. We all know that sometimes the DIY edits don’t come out as perfect as the picture that made you purchase the product to begin with! The original designer’s touch is always the best. Sooo, I’ll do the editing for you. Yes, really! You just have to send me your information! The design, colors, and font can not be changed but the text can. Sounds good? I sure hope so!

Below are the Collections for December. I hope you find one of them useful for you! Click on the design you want to head to check and begin the process. Be sure to leave your email address in the notes box! If not, stay posted for the January Collections.

Today I am so excited to introduce you to Christina, a beautiful young lady that blogs over at Intentional You. I read one of her posts and knew I just had to share her gift with you all. I pray it blesses you!

We ought to pray that whoever is in our path would be able to see the work God is doing in our hearts, by way of our attitudes, actions, and words.

The idea of a soul mate or “other half” comes from Greek mythology. Part of the myth includes this idea that humans were split in half and lived their life in pursuit of their other half of their soul. If this ideology was true, we would be absolutely miserable if we did not find our other half. There would be no chance for purposeful living if purpose were contingent on finding another person to complete us. Also, what if that one person marries someone else? What if “the one” picks another one? There are too many “what ifs” for this way of thinking.

If we believe that there is only one possible person out there for us to marry, it also points to distrust in God’s sovereignty. In Christ, we are complete. Colossians 2:10 says we are “complete through [our] union with Christ.” If we have a relationship with Christ, we have enough. Christ + nothing=everything. This equation gives us no need for something extra to be fulfilled while on this Earth. God does not give us relationships because we need them; He gives them to us because they can point others or us to the love of Jesus. 1 John 4:12 says that while no one has seen God, “if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.” This can apply to any type of human relationship: family, friend, dating, marriage. Whether in a season of having a romantic relationship or not, we should be able to say “Jesus, you are more than enough for me.”

When our focus is on finding “the one”, we stop working on ourselves. “The one” becomes this idol in our hearts. Instead of focusing on finding “the one”, Steven Furtick says we should focus on “being the one”. We put so much energy and thought on this idea of this figurative person that we forget that a real active God is in the process of pursuing us. He is making us into the woman of God that He wants us to be. 2 Corinthians 5:17 speaks of the new creation we are when we are in Christ. As a new creation, we are continually learning how to walk, talk, and behave in light of this new life.

God is putting new passions, goals, and aptitudes in our hearts, as we yield our hearts to Him. We ought to pray that whoever is in our path would be able to see the work God is doing in our hearts. We should be praying that others can see that God is truly more than enough for us.

Christina is a blogger, amateur cook, and teacher of young minds living in Coastal North Carolina with her sassy tabby cat. She never thought she’d be going public with her writing, but God doesn’t give you words to keep to yourself. Subscribe to her blog for encouragement of how to live an intentional life in a chronically compulsive world. You can connect with Christina on her blog or Facebook.

More and more I’m realizing how much I love my single years. I wish I didn’t waste 3 years of it on “randoms” as Heather Lindsey calls them. Unfortunately, the church and the world both wrongfully place a taboo on those that are single. I fell for the pressure to be married by a certain age and now not having that pressure is really relaxing. I’m back on my grind and focused on what is most important: Me!!!

Well for starters, it’s cheaper to travel as a single than a family of 4. And now is the best time to explore the world. When I was younger my goal was to visit each country in the world. That, of course, was before I understood how much money it took to travel. So you may not be able to visit every country but try to travel to a continent you’ve never been before. Asia is at the top of my list! Even if you don’t have the funds or ability to travel outside of your country find places within your state that you’ve never visited and explore! There’s always something to do. Traveling is a great way to open up your mind to new things and meet new people.

You would be surprised how many married women I’ve spoken to who said they didn’t know who they were when they got married. That is such a dangerous place to be because they now have no identity outside of their husband. Even though marriage makes you one you still need to be an individual. If you don’t know who you are you shouldn’t even be considering marriage or even a relationship. You need to have a strong understand of self. Know who you are, what you like and what you dislike. Being strong in who you are also helps you know what you will and will not accept in a relationship. There’s a saying that says if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything.

Is there something that you’ve always wanted to try? Now is the time! Over the summer I realized that I enjoy golf! Crazy right? Who would’ve known. Now is the time to try new things. It’s all a part of finding yourself. Now when my future kids drive me crazy at least I know I can head to the golf course for some “me time”. Lol! Find something that is just for you. Something that you enjoy. All of this helps you have an identity outside of your spouse.

Married people always love to tell single folks that “God will bring your spouse when you’re focused on His work”. While this may or may not be true, that’s no reason to focus on ministry. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard singles say “But I’m in ministry, why isn’t my husband finding me”. I know I’ve been guilty of saying that too. That is definitely the wrong motivation for ministry. Dive into ministry because you have the time and the desire to please God–not because you are hoping for a return on your investment. Even Paul said the best time to serve God is when you’re single. Take advantage of this time.

The Bible says that it is more blessed to give than to receive. There’s a good feeling that comes from giving. As singles, we should have a bit more time and resources that giving should be a primary focus for us. And I’m not just talking about money. Give of your time. Give of your knowledge. Give of yourself. Bless those around you anyway you can and God in turn will take care of you.

This is a big one. One thing I know is that when my husband finds me I want him to find me in Christ. I want him to see that my relationship with God is my number one priority and that if he wants me he needs to follow suit. The only way to be in Christ is to develop a strong relationship with Him. Stay in your word. Pray without ceasing. Surround yourself with like-minded believers. Worship always. Make God your priority and #1 desire. If we ran after God the way we ran after marriage, we probably wouldn’t even want marriage anymore. LOL! Seriously, God is just that good. If a relationship with him is not your priority right now it’s time to change that.

Okay, so God and I have already had a talk about my husband being a finance guru because I’m really terrible with money. No really, I’m terrible. I know what to do and I’ve helped many friends with their budget but when it comes to my own finances I just can’t get it together. I’ll get there in Jesus name :). Bringing debt into marriage is not a healthy start. Unfortunately money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Yes, many of us have college loans that we couldn’t avoid but what about those credit card debts that accumulated because you just needed the latest designer bag? Get rid of those. Pay those off as quickly as possible. I’d say outside of student loans (which I see more as an investment), try the best you can not to start your marriage with debt.

Ladies, please do yourself a favor and learn how to take care of the home. Please!!! I know so many woman who don’t know how to cook and clean and they think it’s okay because that’s not what their man is looking for. Yes, granted many men these days say that they aren’t looking for that–they prefer the career woman over the home maker. But don’t be fooled, at the core of every man is still the desire to be taken care of. Get on youtube. Learn from your mother or other women around you. Keep your room clean (I’m talking to myself now lol). Create a clean lifestyle that you will bring into your home. It’s important.

You need married men and women in your life. If you’re only hanging out with singles who is going to teach you about marriage? Surround yourself with newlyweds and women who have been married for many years. They have wisdom that you can glean from. One thing I will say is that while it’s important to surround yourself with married men (they can see things in your potential spouse that a woman might not see), it is imperative to also befriend his wife. Just use wisdom and protect yourself. Bottom Line: Make sure you have both singles and married individuals in your circle of influence.

Well that’s my list! What do you think I should add? Let me know. I’d love to hear from you.

It’s when you’re not just friends but you’re not really in an exclusive relationship. You’re interested in each other but you’re not official. You’re just stuck somewhere in the middle. You’re talking about being together. You’re talking about becoming exclusive. But you’re just not there yet.

I really give the man that invented this stage much props because it has stopped women all over the world from asking the question they all dread: “Where is this relationship going?”. We start to worry less because it gives us the illusion that the relationship is progressing. You speak everyday. He takes you out occasionally. He calls you terms of endearment: my love, babe, boo. Maybe you’ve even met the family. It looks like a relationship. It sounds like a relationship. But it’s not a relationship. You’re just stuck in limbo.

Limbo. Or what I like to call “The Grey Area”. Right where he wants you.

The Grey Area gives him access to you AND full access to any other girl of his choosing. It calms his guilty conscience as he reminds himself that technically he’s still single. And he’s correct. He has every right to get into a relationship with another woman and you have no right to get upset because you were just “talking”. It wasn’t exclusive. Even though he whispered all these sweet nothings to you, he wasn’t claiming you. And technically speaking, he’s not cheating. Genius. It’s how a guy commits without committing. The perfect way to have your cake and eat it too.

We underestimate these men, ladies. We do.

The problem with talking is that while the guy hasn’t fully committed we are already fully committed. It’s the nature of a woman. That’s why this stage is so dangerous for us. We begin to treat him like the boyfriend, or the fiance, or the husband and that hinders us from seeing other guys that may actually be interested in us. He blocks us from another guy that actually knows what he wants- not one that is still deciding and takes us along for the ride. There have been a few times I have said no to a guy because I was simply “talking” to another guy. As a matter a fact, there was a guy who was ready, hands down ready to marry me and I said no because I was too invested in this guy that I was just talking to. You keep reminding yourself that “We’re just talking” but somehow your emotions translate that into “We are together”. But. You’re not. You’re just talking about being together. And the funny thing is, that’s usually as far as it goes.

So stupid.

It’s okay girl, we’ve all been there. It’s time to break out of that talking phase. Don’t let him test drive you. Don’t let him keep you in this holding cell until he figures out what he wants to do with you.

It’s either he commits 100% or he’s friendzoned until he’s ready to commit. A guy that really wants to be with you doesn’t have to talk to you first before he can make that decision. He just knows.