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Friday, May 9, 2014

That's a Lie by Victoria Klahr - Blog Tour

When he walked back into my life, it almost felt like the pieces of my broken heart could be fixed. I thought we could go back to being best friends, but then I started to feel what I had been blocking out for years. I tried. Boy, did I try! But once I started to let him in, I wanted nothing more than to cross that line from friendship into something more…

Just when I think I can move on and let myself be happy, an ugly reminder from my past comes storming in and threatens to destroy the sliver of hope that's been growing since Seth came back.

Do I even deserve to be loved?

“I’m not asking to fix your heart. I’m not asking to mend you. I love each and every shattered piece of you. I’m asking that you let me love you. Let me love each piece of your broken heart, and I swear to you I will make up for every heartache you have ever experienced.”

I came back for Josie.

I knew I'd have to fight for her, but with the loss of her dad and the truth about what happened with her and Blake, I quickly realized that making her mine was going to be a lot harder than I first thought. The problem is, I can’t pretend like she’s just my best friend. I can’t pretend I don’t want more.

I'm willing to do anything to get her to admit she has the same passionate feelings for me, because I know once she opens up and stops lying to herself, I can show her what it really means to be loved. It's a battle of wills, but my love for her is stronger than her will to stop me.

“You lied to me,” he said gruffly, sitting on the barstool at my counter. His blonde hair flopped in front of his eyes, and my hands itched to push it back. To get to touch him again the way I want to would satisfy only a millimeter of the need I have, but it would relieve some of the pain. I turned around to hide my thoughts.

“Ugh… I need coffee,” I said vacantly, reaching for my coffee maker. I didn’t even hear Seth move, but his hand grabbed mine and he turned me around, placing his hands beside me on the countertop to trap me. My breath caught, and I was almost positive he could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

His blue green eyes were angry, but I didn’t even care about him being mad. All that mattered was the charge that thumped between us. I was very aware of him.

“You lied, Josie. You’re not supposed to lie to me.”

“Seth… come on,” I said, turning my face away, unable to look at the raw emotion in his expression. His hand dashed out and grabbed my chin.

“How long, Josie?” he asked. I closed my eyes, not wanting to admit anything. “Open your damn eyes, Jos. Stop fucking hiding.” His voice was hard, but it was also full of desperation. I opened my eyes and narrowed them at him.

He doesn’t understand that I need to keep him away from me. My life is tainted by darkness, and he doesn’t need that. “It doesn’t matter, Seth. I’m fine.”

“Like fucking hell it doesn’t matter. I haven’t heard you scream like that since after everything that happened.”

He was referring to when I would have nightmares after I was raped. He or one of my dads would come lay with me to help me fall asleep. Every day that Seth wasn’t in school, he was there with me, trying to make the nightmares go away.

“Since the engagement party,” I whispered, looking down. I don’t know why I admitted it, but I think there was a part of me that realized I couldn’t hold onto all this pain anymore.

That’s when my resolve started to break. How long can I go on fighting the feelings that I have for Seth? How long can I act like nothing hurts me?

“Fuck, Jos…,” he whispered back, placing his forehead against mine. I was able to smell the mixture of hay and apple pie on his skin, and I almost lost my footing from wanting him so badly. “You should have told me.”

“I didn’t want you to worry,” I admitted.

“I worry about you every second you’re not with me, Pussy Cat. Every second that you hide behind that wall you’ve built, I wonder when you’re going to crack.” His hand reached up to caress my face, and I started to lean into his touch. It was only a minute movement, but I still heard Seth’s breath hitch. My lapse in self-control made him bold. He brought his mouth to the side of mine, and kissed me. I couldn’t stop the whimper before it escaped my mouth.

“There you are,” he whispered hoarsely against my lips. I wanted to bask in the moment, but I had already opened up to him too much. I pushed through the barricade he had made, and ran back to my room.

Victoria Klahr (pronounced like “Claire”) lives in Elizabeth City, North Carolina with her husband and daughter, Stephen and Alexis. She loves her chug (Pug/Chihuahua), Bandit, and three year old to pieces. She loves to stay home and take care of them, even if they do drive her insane at times. She is a huge and proud book nerd who looks at her bookshelf in admiration daily. She has her Associate’s degree in Business Administration, but her passion has always been the stories that talk to her in her head. One day she decided to take a chance and let the voices write her story. She has never felt more certain or comfortable about who she is than when she writes.