Welcome to My Colonies

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Another De-friending on Facebook

Sunday evening, a Facebook "friend" de-friended (I use "de-friend" instead of "un-friend") me after I had posted a comment. I actually don't know this person personally, so it wasn't that big of a deal. In fact, he had friend requested me after liking some comments I made on a mutual friend's wall some time ago. I don't make friend requests of people I don't know personally, but I will accept friend requests from people I don't know if I like their views or feel we have something in common (I generally accept all friend requests by people who belong to the Community of Christ because chances are likely that we know people in common and / or we'll likely meet at a church event eventually).

This person had posted a picture of Elizabeth Warren, who is running for the U.S. Senate seat in Massachusetts, once held by Senator Ted Kennedy until he passed away in 2009. The replacement, Scott Brown won in a special election in January 2010 with teabagger support, shocking the Democrats. However, I wasn't shocked. Politics aside, Brown is a likable guy with a compelling personal narrative (read his autobiography) and he's not an ideologue. In fact, as Senator, he has been rather moderate and some of his votes have disappointed his Republican supporters, including the teabaggers who were hoping for another brainless ideologue who votes hardcore rightwing. His opponent was Martha Coakley, who ran like she expected a coronation. Brown engaged in what is called "retail politics" (going out to meet the voters and shaking hands, kissing babies, eating some crappy food to show that he's one of the people, and most impressive of all...adding many tens of thousands of miles on his older model pick-up truck). Coakley was seen as an out-of-touch liberal while Brown came off as a man of the people.

When he won, I wrote a post on my blog that the Republican Party has finally found a potential presidential candidate who would appeal to liberals and independents. He is certainly the most likable Republican politician EVER. I hope that Republican Party politics won't ruin him, the way it has obviously ruined the moderate Mitt Romney (who has backtracked on so many of his previous views and policy achievements that no one can trust him anymore, liberal or conservative). Scott Brown has all the qualities that make for a successful Presidential candidate. His biography / personal narrative is the stuff of American legend (a true Horatio Alger story of a man who rose from humble roots to the highest office in the land).

In order to win back the seat that the Kennedy family has held since John F. Kennedy won in 1952, Democrats have recruited a star candidate, Elizabeth Warren who is well known for her battles against Wall Street on behalf of consumer rights and the Middle Class. She is a great candidate...but in my personal opinion, I don't think Senator Brown has done anything terrible that warrants ending his political career after two years in the Senate. If I lived in Massachusetts, I would be voting for Scott Brown. Yes, I am a liberal and I am a Democrat...but I'm also not an ideologue and most importantly, I support individuals that I like, rather than the party. However, because the Republican Party has so few politicians that I like, it's easy for me to support Democratic candidates (unless they happen to be scumbags like my former Congressman David Wu). I would like to see Brown continue in the Senate and see if he might run for the Republican nomination for president in 2016 or 2020. If he loses this Senate race, what will he do next? Run for Governor, perhaps?

I think a lot of the Democratic excitement behind Elizabeth Warren is that electing her to the Senate now will put her in the running for the presidential contest in 2016, which will become even more important if Hillary Clinton decides not to run. The 2008 campaign left a lot of Democratic women disappointed that their dream of seeing a woman president has been deferred again. In 2016, we could possibly see candidacies of Hillary Clinton, Kathleen Sebelius, Elizabeth Warren, Christine Gregoire, and perhaps even Janet Napolitano. No one has Hillary's star power, though. Warren would be the best bet if Hillary doesn't run, but only if she's running after having proven herself able to win an election to political office. Personally, my dream first female presidential candidates are too old (Senators Diane Feinstein and Barbara Boxer), so I will be supporting Governor Martin O'Malley of Maryland, who will have 16 years of executive experience if he decides to run.

Anyhow, I had commented on the Facebook "friend's" wall that I wish Elizabeth Warren could be our Senator in Oregon, but while I like her background, I don't see any reason why Scott Brown should be voted out of office. It did not take long after posting that comment when I got a personal message from the guy saying, "Sorry, but I'm going to have to un-friend you." I was stunned. He had posted so many photos with a political message that I shared on my wall and I often made comments on his posts that he "liked". Despite all this, because he disagreed with my opinion regarding Senator Brown, he has to "de-friend" me? Wow. Now who's being the unreasonable ideologue! How is he any better than the ideologues on the right that he criticizes? In my experience, ideologues (regardless of political views) are all the same: the conformity to one's viewpoint is more important to them than the other person's personality or overall compatibility.

This is so opposite to me. Because I am of mixed-race heritage and have been in more conservative environments (military dependent, U.S. Navy, BYU, and Boy Scouts), I had to learn to base my friendships on commonalities rather than exclude people for differences. This resulted in my ability to be friends with conservatives and Republicans. In fact, I would say that many of my closest friendships have been with people far more conservative than me. I see this as a good, because knowing myself, I could easily become a radical liberal who goes around de-friending people who don't agree with me. I know that friendships with people who hold different views actually keeps my ego in check. People who only want friendships with people who share their political or religious views tend to be egotistical or have fragile belief systems that need validation from others.

After the de-friending, the liberal Warren supporter actually posted that he had to end his friendship with me. Here's what he wrote on his wall:

"I had to let a friend go when he told me this and I was really surprised ... Geez, we're losing so many smart women at the state and federal level too, but I guess with Browns GQ Style that was his clincher. Anyway, I very, very, rarely if ever talk about people here but when he said BYU, I guess I could have responded a little more professionally ... but, the President's Re-election is too important !! Not to have friends who are something there not."

His grammar is a bit bizarre, so I don't understand what he's talking about. Particularly with this phrase: "...but when he said BYU, I guess I could have responded a little more professionally..."

I did not mention BYU at all, so I have no idea what he meant by that. I do have on my profile that I attended BYU, which I'm aware that people who don't know me might think that I am a Mormon or a conservative Republican...but that's their ignorance. It baffles me that one could see what I've posted on my Facebook wall on a regular basis and still think I'm some fake liberal...that I might be some secret conservative Republican trying to con people! Uh, really?!?

Also, if he read any of my posts on Facebook, he would know that I am supporting Obama to the point of donating money to his campaign. I am voting for Obama. No one needs to doubt me there. I generally don't vote Republican for major offices. I only have voted Republican in the past when I hated my Democratic member of Congress (that would be Cynthia McKinney from 1996 to 2002). Then he ended with "Not to have friends who are something they are not." (I correct his grammar here). What the hell does that mean, anyway? Something I am not?!? Just because I like Senator Scott Brown, I'm somehow faking that I'm a Democrat?

You know why I like Scott Brown? Because he makes me laugh. I've seen him in several interviews and his victory speech and one thing is clear: his sense of humour is the same as mine. It's a bit on the goofy side and tends to get him in trouble with women. Also, he reminds me of the officers that I served with in the Navy whom I liked and would trust with my life. Most of the officers I knew in the Navy were Republican. But even back then, I knew how to distinguish between the Republicans who valued facts and personal accountability versus the ideologues who pride themselves on being ignorant and view intelligence as a sign of an "elitist."

I posted the de-friending on my wall just to see what kind of reaction I would get. Those who clicked the "like" button or left comments seemed to agree with me. Only one lady seemed to take issue with me for liking Senator Scott Brown, going so far as to try to convince me that I don't know the truth about Brown. Ah well. I don't think she will de-friend me, because she's a fellow church member and we've actually met. Plus, I love her and her husband. They have an amazing love story that I wish I could find for myself. In fact, she's the kind of lady I hope to find in a wife. We'll just have to disagree about Brown. When I like a person, I tend to always like a person, no matter what. I may be disappointed (as I was upon learning that the politician I admired the most since 1990 had decided to divorce his wife and then news revealed that he might have had an inappropriate relationship with a massage therapist during a stay in a Portland hotel in 2006. Yep, that would be former Vice President Al Gore), but my loyalty gene is difficult to turn off or circumvent. I do plan to donate some money to Scott Brown's reelection campaign. He deserves a full term to represent all of Massachusetts, not just the lefty liberal ideological wing.

Interestingly enough, this is probably the 5th liberal who has de-friended me. Similar to the others, they questioned that I was really a liberal Democrat. One person de-friended me because I would not support his campaign for president. He's a liberal who became disappointed in Obama and instead of getting angry all the time, decided to launch a campaign for president. His posts were bizarre. I couldn't tell if he was mentally ill or if he was joking (ideologues tend not to have a sense of humour, though). He seemed like he really believed that he had a chance at the presidency but all he offered were opinions, not solutions. Plus, if you are really running for president on Facebook, why would you "de-friend" anyone?!? I'm sure that both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney's list of friends on Facebook include those who have no intention of voting for them. I'm one of Mitt Romney's Facebook "friends" just so I can see what he (or his political aide assigned the Facebook duty) posts. In fact, this "liking" of Romney caused someone on my list to question my liberal Democratic loyalties and led to my de-friending. Also, there was another guy who de-friended me because he thought I was making a "racist" statement when I said that Republicans in Georgia did not even support Herman Cain to be their Senator, so why would Republicans want Cain for president? If he's not good enough for a lower political office, why do they think people would want him for the highest political office?

What these de-friending episodes teach me is that ideologues of any time don't like someone like me. Actually, I've known this for a long time. Ideologues and I have never gotten along since high school and the Navy. I prefer moderation in all things and it is a good path to follow. The Ancient Greeks wrote about "The Golden Mean" and the Buddha spoke of "The Middle Way." Most of my political battles have been with conservative ideologues, but occasionally, a liberal ideologue will remind me that even among liberals, there are closed-minded people who base friendships on conformity to their ego's point of view rather than allowing friendship the freedom to be who the person naturally is. I would say that one of my best friends Nathan is the most conservative of my friends...yet despite our disagreements on politics and spirituality, I would never dream of ending my friendship with him. He has one of the best personalities I've ever met and he never fails to say the very thing that can get a laugh out of me, even if I'm sad or angry. I wish more people would realize the value in having friends who believe differently. It keeps life interesting.

Sansego

A word I created from the French word Sans (meaning "without") and the English word ego. Basically, that sums up my spiritual beliefs. To be closer to God, we must transcend our egos and recognize we are all "one in the spirit."

My 7 Favourite Films of 2007

Gorgeous!

My Hot List (of Dream Women)

1. Audrey Tautou

2. Emily Blunt

3. Frances O'Connor

4. Thandie Newton

5. Natalie Portman

6. Shannyn Sossamon

7. Michelle Yeoh

8. Gwen Stefani

9. Zoe Saldana

10. Halle Berry

Nonconformists of the Year

The following photos represent my selection for Nonconformist of the Year, that I started doing in 1992 to honour the person who did an unexpected act, which went against the grain of conventional thinking.

1992

Bill Clinton

1993

Al Gore

1994

Nelson Mandela

1995

Lady Diana Spencer

1996

John F. Kennedy, Jr.

1997

Louis Freeh

1998

Russ Feingold

1999

Jesse Ventura

2000

John McCain

2001

Bill Maher

2002

Dave Eggers

2003

Howard Dean

2004

Joseph Darby

2005

Cindy Sheehan

2006

Al Gore

2007

Buddhist Monks of Burma

2008

Barack Obama

2009

Alicia Silverstone

2010

Julian Assange

2011

Mohamed Bouazizi

Best descriptions of GWB

1. He's a corporation masquerading as a human being -- Ralph Nader

2. He's a blind man in a room full of deaf people -- Paul O'Neill

3. Poor George...born on third and thought he hit a triple -- Ann Richards

4. You could easily imagine him owning the local car dealership down the road -- Barack Obama

5. Bush is the worst president ever...He is the worst president in American history -- Helen Thomas

Favourite Presidents

1. Thomas Jefferson

2. John Fitzgerald Kennedy

3. Abraham Lincoln

4. George Washington

5. Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Worst Presidents Ever

1. George W. Bush

2. Richard M. Nixon

3. Lyndon B. Johnson

4. Ronald W. Reagan

5. Warren G. Harding

Cool words I love

Kundalini

Shosoloza

Zenani

Serendipity

Psychokinesis

Recommended CDs by my favourite Irish musicians

1. All That You Can't Leave Behind -- U2

2. A Day Without Rain -- Enya

3. The Bells of Dublin -- The Chieftains

4. I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got -- Sinead O'Connor

5. Herding Cats -- Gaelic Storm

My All Time Favourite Music Videos

1. Nothing Compares 2 U -- Sinead O'Connor

2. Coldhearted -- Paula Abdul

3. Smoke -- Natalie Imbruglia

4. Stay -- Lisa Loeb

5. Soak Up The Sun -- Sheryl Crow

All Time Favourite Films

1. The Sound of Music

2. The Star Wars Saga

3. Dead Poet's Society

4. Casualties of War

5. Love and Other Catastrophes

6. E.T.

7. Forrest Gump

8. Jurassic Park

9. Sarafina!

10. Roxanne

All Time Favourite Albums

1. Cruel, Crazy, Beautiful World -- Johnny Clegg and Savuka

2. Earth and Sun and Moon -- Midnight Oil

3. All That You Can't Leave Behind -- U2

4. Le Baiser -- Indochine

5. Wommat (The Guide) -- Youssou N'Dour

6. Born in the USA -- Bruce Springsteen

7. Tracy Chapman -- Tracy Chapman

8. Graceland -- Paul Simon

9. The Rising -- Bruce Springsteen

10. Autoamerican -- Blondie

11. Pilgrim -- Eric Clapton

12. Thriller -- Michael Jackson

13. Crazy Sexy Cool -- TLC

14. True Blue -- Madonna

15. Whitney -- Whitney Houston

All Time Favourite Songs

1. What A Wonderful World -- Louis Armstrong

2. Sailing -- Christopher Cross

3. A Better Man -- Keb' Mo'

4. Woman Be My Country -- Johnny Clegg and Savuka

5. Time After Time -- Cyndi Lauper

6. Woman -- John Lennon

7. Man In the Mirror -- Michael Jackson

8. Hey Jude -- The Beatles

9. Imagine -- John Lennon

10. Stairway to Heaven -- Led Zepplin

My 6 Fave Songs of 2006

1. Do I Make You Proud? -- Taylor Hicks

2. Unwritten -- Natasha Bedingfield

3. Jump -- Madonna

4. Waiting on the World to Change -- John Mayer

5. Bad Day -- Daniel Powter

6. What's Left of Me -- Nick Lachey

My 6 Fave Films of 2006

1. An Inconvenient Truth

2. The Da Vinci Code

3. Blood Diamond

4. V For Vendetta

5. The Devil Wears Prada

6. Casino Royale

Three Worst Films of 2006

1. Borat

2. Basic Instinct 2

3. Children of Men

Favourite Madonna Singles

1. Live to Tell

2. Vogue

3. What it Feels Like For a Girl

4. Jump

5. Who's that Girl

6. Into the Groove

7. Angel

8. This Used to Be My Playground

9. Holiday

10. Die Another Day

Favourite Madonna Albums

1. True Blue (1986)

2. Like a Prayer (1989)

3. Confessions on a Dance Floor (2005)

4. American Life (2003)

5. Bedtime Stories (1994)

6. Madonna (1983)

7. Music (2001)

8. Ray of Light (1998)

9. Like A Virgin (1984)

10. Erotica (1992)

Favourite Madonna Music Videos

1. Vogue

2. Material Girl

3. Into the Groove

4. Papa Don't Preach

5. La Isla Bonita

6. Human Nature

7. Take A Bow

8. Nothing Really Matters

9. Rain

10. Beautiful Stranger

Personal Timeline

Dec 1971 -- Born;1977 -- "Star Wars" craze begins!;1978 -- Wendy is my first crush, setting a pattern of me falling for girls I find more intelligent than myself;1980 -- Sharon Dunn becomes my first penpal when I move to Utah;Dec 1980 -- Baptized into RLDS Church;1984 -- Meet Nicholas Smith in 7th grade, who becomes one of my best friends;1985-1988 -- Lived in Germany;1988 -- Acted in two plays, "Our Town" and "You Can't Take It With You.";Summer 1989 -- Wrote "Diabolic Incognito" for a Young Novelist competition;November 1989 -- Inspired with story idea for next novel;June 1990 -- Graduated high school, then enlisted in the Navy;January 1991 -- First solo trip via Greyhound to visit my best friend in Omaha and my grandparents in Kansas;March 1991 -- Went off to Basic Training;September 1991 -- Arrived in Italy for my 3 year assignment;October 1992 -- My first Eurail trip;April 1993 -- An odd coincidence brings me back to God;August 1994 -- My trip to South Africa becomes my most significant spiritual experience;November 1994 -- Meet my other best friend, Nathan Hagman;January 1996 -- Honorable Discharge from the Navy;May 1996 -- Car is totalled in an accident;August 1997 -- Start my college career at BYU;April-May 1999 -- Road trip to Pacific Northwest makes a huge impression on me that this is where I want to settle someday;January-April 2000 -- Internship with Vice President Gore;December 2004 -- Finished writing second novel "Seasons of Silent War" (still haven't found an agent for it);August 2006 -- Move to Portland, Oregon--finally!!;December 2006 -- Finished my long-delayed Bachelor's Degree in International Politics