It is pretty obvious why McDonald’s is among the most successful companies in the fast food industry — it’s quick, it’s easy, and they have the Dollar Menu, which made cheap food even cheaper. Also they are just the most convenient.

You can only have two.

No matter where you are, it is safe to assume that you are relatively close to one of McDonald’s 32,478 worldwide restaurants (6,262 are company-operated and 26,216 are franchised). If that doesn’t seem like a very impressive number, let me do some math. If you went to a different McDonald’s establishment every day of your life, you would reach the final McDonald’s just about a week before your 89th birthday, assuming no new McDonald’s opened up anywhere during your fairly extensive lifetime. So, just to recap, McDonald’s has about 3,862 more locations than there are days in the average U.S. citizen’s life expectancy.

Truly an impossible task.

Of course, McDonald’s Corp. has had their fair share of controversy. Of course, everyone knows about the infamous McDonald’s coffee case: in 1992 Albuquerque resident Stella Liebeck, 79 at the time, suffered from 3rd degree burns on 6% of her skin after she spilled a cup of hot coffee purchased from a McDonald’s onto her lap. This was followed by skin grafting, weight loss, and two years of medical treatment. In the end she was granted $2.86 million. This is also the only time I have ever heard of anyone actually buying coffee from McDonald’s.

In conclusion, McDonald’s isn’t going anywhere because most people really don’t care about that sort of thing. Yes, it’s not the healthiest, but as long as you limit your visits it probably won’t kill you. Regardless, people will always need a place nearby wherever to get a semi-decent meal at 3a.m. on a budget of $12 or less, especially in this wintry economic climate. McDonald’s satisfies this need, law suits and enabler clowns and gay French commercials aside. Mickey D’s is here to stay. Since 1940.

This image is called The Contiguous United States Visualized by distance to the nearest McDonald's, by Stephen Von Worley. "Between the tiny Dakotan hamlets of Meadow and Glad Valley lies the McFarthest Spot: 107 miles distant from the nearest McDonald’s, as the crow flies, and 145 miles by car." Just saying.

Now, you’re probably wondering: “How can I use McDonald’s incredible financial success for my own gain?” Well, if you own McDonald’s stock, you get a $2.20 dividend a year for each stock, which is something. And so now you may be wondering: “$2.20? That’s stupid. How much money does the average McDonald’s restaurant makes in a year?” And I’m glad you asked. The average sales of a U.S. McDonald’s is said to be around $2.3 million. That is for each single restaurant. What is 2.3 million multiplied by 32,478? Well, I’ve got a calculator right here and it is … 74,699,400,000. Oh, wow. And, you know, they’re opening more of those restaurants all the time. Specifically I’m talking about 500 new McDonald’s in China over the next three years.

Fast food (or Quick Service) restaurants are great. You go in, make a decision, make a purchase, stay or go, and eat your meal. The whole process should ideally take less than half an hour. Many fast food establishments are also open for most — if not all — of the day’s 1,440 minutes, so you can get your cheap burgers, subs, wings, burritos, or whatever at practically all ungodly hours of the night. Just try not to eat there every day. Or not, whatever, it’s up to you.