kung fu khiladi

Standard

Ok, so I can think of a few reasons to have made ‘Chandni Chowk To China’:

Akshay Kumar was getting tired of doing standard romantic “family” comedy fare, and decided to dip into the innuendo (or as The Todd would say: ‘In your end do‘) fare that most comedies degenerate to at some point. Which in turn would lead to the famed ‘iron man‘ dialogue. Or such gems such as stating that Ms. TSM (Ms. Padukone) has been sent from above stuffed with aaloo (while the eyes stray ever so slightly), later followed up with a classic: “Yeh tandoor kahan se aaya? Kisne seki hai rotiyan?” (while indicating the ‘wrong’ Ms. Padukone’s fake pregnancy).

Warner Bros decided that the best way to make a huge profit fast was to: (a) Pick top Indian star who guarantees a decent collection in India, (b) Add bunch of Chinese + martial arts, (c) Mix up well. This will ensure the movie can be targeted at roughly 33% of the world’s population. Work out probabilities of how many of them will watch it minimum. Voila tout.

The crash of the world economy has badly affected China, and therefore craploads of Chinese + the Great Wall (something even M:I was not allowed) were given over to the production in an effort to get things kick started.

Classic Akshay Kumar Bollywood fare + Martial Arts + Prabhuji should have made for a heady potion. Sadly the few moments that the movie allows itself to get zany are the only moments that are worth watching: Akshay Kumar getting booted all over Chandni Chowk by Prabhuji, ‘Chinese Bhaiyon, Saavdhaan!’ in the middle of the title track, Akshay Kumar stating ‘Churake Dil Mera‘ is his forte, Akshay Kumar permanently talking to an aaloo, going from ‘roti belna’ to the ‘iron forearm’ kung fu technique, cosmic kicks and flying henchmen, kung fu somehow being derived from cutting aaloo and gaajar as well as lifting sacks, ‘Chandni Chowk to Afreeeka’.

BTW, for those not realizing it, such a sequel would target the only other major segment of the world outside of Asia. Smart.