"Beautiful Girls"

"Boo Me In Church (Chewed the Bible)"

The Lyrics

I had the basic idea for a while but sat down and wrote the rest a couple of days ago. Warning: may be offensive if you are the Pope.

They hate and boo me in churchFrom their higher moral perchBecause I stewed the bible, chewed the bibleAnd then ate yogurtThey're disapproving in churchThey say I make their stomachs lurchBecause I stewed the Bible, chewed the bibleAnd I was sober

Well it starts off in a gard-En then soup with the ArkThen Matzah fleeing harmParables on a farmAnd all throughoutIt's full of moral fiber

Put it in a potWith salt and a lotOf water and meatIt wasn't hard to eatWhen he found outMy priest said,"Were you high, sir?"

Well it's very absurdHow we can't eat Christ's wordsBut we munch his innardsThis faith is for the birdsLike crowsOr maybe buzzards and vultures

They hate and boo me in churchFrom their higher moral perchBecause I stewed the bible, chewed the bibleAnd then drank sodaThey're disapproving in churchThey say I make their stomachs lurchBecause I stewed the bible, chewed the bibleAnd that's not kosher

Used a camera when I dined It was the recording kindAnd within a few daysI put the meal onlineMyspace, YouTubeI think several thousand viewed it

Her face showed her shameMy mom Googled my nameSearching for a clueWhat it is that I doShe told a friendNow my shunning might never end

Well it's very absurdHow we can't eat Christ's wordsBut we munch his innardsThis faith is for the birdsLike crowsOr maybe buzzards and vultures

They hate and boo me in churchFrom their higher moral perchBecause I stewed the bible, chewed the bibleAnd then drank sodaThey're disapproving in churchThey say I make their stomachs lurchBecause I stewed the bible, chewed the bibleAnd I was sober

Jonah tastes fishyJudges tastes hairyThose are both liesTaste doesn't varySince all the booksTaste like ink and paper

My priest speaks of my fateHe said, " God is irateBut that can be fixedThanks to the collection plateSo please give more."I laughed and said, "No way sir"

They hate and boo me in churchFrom their higher moral perchBecause I stewed the Bible, chewed the BibleChewed the Bi-i-i-i-i-ble

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Voting Results

Pacing:

4.7

How Funny:

4.5

Overall Rating:

4.5

Total Votes:

13

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User Comments

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SOTM - A literate guy from the big apple writes a song about eating the bible... well, I'm sure there's a "watch out for bookworms" joke just waiting to be used here in the comments, if I could only come up with it! :-)

I'm not sure what to make of this. On one hand, TOS is a trainwreck IMO: doo-wop meets half-assed reggae meets copped "Stand By Me" bassline meets lame lyrics with a 50s themed video - a total cluster****. I guess 14 million other people have a different opinion about it though. At least the video wasn't filled with bling and Escalades with 24" rims...

Onto the parody, this is a massive improvement over the original and an interesting idea, with good execution. "Used a camera when I dined - It was the recording kind"... as opposed to using the non-recording kind? ???

Overall, pretty good parody, and recording it wouldn't be much of a stretch - I don't think anyone I've heard recently annoys me more than Sean Kingston.

(SOTM) hmm, I too am flummoxed Ethan and don't quite know how to rate it- nice flow and rhythm, but the repeated choruses and verselines dropped it back a notch or two imo - but it's good to be controversial, also imo - 555

(SOTM) Heh heh heh...HOW did you come up with this?! But being that I'm bombarded with this song and that awful Crank That Soulja Boy song everywhere I go, it's wonderful to see it lampooned. I actually tried book-eating myself as a toddler...not bad, actually! ;)