Thursday, August 17, 2006

Oh My God! I Killed the Chupacabra!

Indeed, the pen is mightier than the sword. At least, mine seems to be pretty dang lethal lately.

For example, I wrote about Floyd Landis winning the Tour de France with a bad hip, and look what happened there? He wound up having more testosterone in his system than the entire Italian World-Cup winning soccer team, and now, it seems, his Father-in-Law committed suicide. I'm sorry Floyd. I was just writng, ya know.

Then there's the things I wrote about Ken Lay, and look what happened to him.

Anyway, yesterday, in my anniversary entry, I added the deadly, man-eating Chupacabra, and now they found a dead animal in Maine that, as far as I'm concerned, is, in fact, the afformentioned deadly, man-eating Chupacabra (You can thank me later, Puerto Rico. Tonight, let the rivers of rum flow, and sleep well, my friends. You no longer need to fear the deadly, man-eating Chupacabra, for he is dead, and I killed him with my words).

If this keeps up, I'm going to start rigging elections and building my empire. If I ever say that George Bush is the best President in the history of best Presidents, you know he's doomed. Oh, Donald Rumsfeld is a nice, sweet man consumed with love and peaceful intentions, and Pat Robertson will live forever because of his God-defying, Jesus-juice milkshakes that gave him the strength to leg-press a freakin' ton.

Regarding Dan:----------------------------------------------------------------------Why he’s not #1: His cat was recently arrested, a poor reflection on the owner.--------------------------------------------------------------------How about his ex-psych girlfriend, who'd boil your next of kin in a pot on your kitchen stove to prove her love for Dan. He! He! Dan, will you marry me? Comment from teeisme57 - 8/17/06 11:49 AM

About Me

I'm a pretty boring guy for a screaming-mad lunatic. And, when I am not chasing squirrels around the yard demanding that they stop speaking Swedish, I can usually be found pecking away at a keyboard trying to write a book (or two).
All-in-all, it's a pretty fun life --if not at least a little challenging.