Every moment
Every lick
Every game
Every purr
Every thing
Each a blessing beyond measure.

…tears….
Fallen and yet to fall
Sinking into fur warm and soft
A big tongue to wipe them away.
Peace found in peace given.

The most loving act
most painful still
the giving back a freedom
to play without reserve
love forever carried.

Peace is found
in giving peace
There is no more pain
No more uncertainty
More than worthy of this kindness

Forever
Changed
Blessed
And Loved.

Pudders - just before she became an angel....

Rest in peace, my beloved Phia.
Rest in peace, my precious Pudders.

Come snuggle with me tonight and every night to come. I will miss your physical presence and grateful that your spirits will be with me always, all ways.

I love you both. You will always be mine.

*yesterday, May 5, 2013, Pudders passed from this world and is waiting for us on the rainbow bridge until it is our time. Dan (my husband dear) rescued her 19 years ago from a farmer who was ready to end her life. The life she gave us was beyond expectations…

Today, May 6, 2013 we released our 13 year old dog Ophelia Jane from her well worn body. We thought that we were losing her a full year ago. She rallied and healed. I know now- She stayed with us until she knew we were safe. The cancer had come back and stopped her digestive system from working properly. She was in far too much pain and discomfort. Although it was painful for us, her physical pain was more so we did the most loving thing we could. I held her head in my lap as she slipped away. I am sad but grateful for every moment together.

Dan and I have MS (I’ve explained the general elements of it a bit already here . I think you’ll find I did a pretty decent job of distilling my 14 years of teaching other people about MS…)

Back to my furry, dusty, love filled “home” (and why it is like this)

Dan and I have lived together for about a decade (so far). We each have individually lived with “limited” energy (due to MS) for another 10 years on that… we have learned quite a bit. Thank God.

Metaphor time…

We’ll use a non human analog. You have a cell phone with an old battery. It takes longer to charge the thing and doesn’t hold a charge long.

You have a list of calls you need to make- a list far longer than your battery can possibly achieve. Doctors, bill collectors, your beloved friend, the vet, your mom…. which call would use that charge most effectively? Which calls are “mission critical”? What part of your life gets the energy?

I hate calling myself old- but in this case, I am very much like that old battery. At least my energy levels act like it.

So on my list- there are things I have to do ( find/visit doctors, feed/walk/care for the kids, obtain meds, obtain food, make coffee), things that feed my heart and soul (snuggle with our pack/pride, paint, create, write, take pictures, connect with Dear Ones, blog) and things that would be nice to accomplish (laundry, dishes, unpack boxes, organize, clean). There’s no way I could do it all. I am blessed to have Dan’s help, when he’s able, although level of help necessary can vary from day to day, hour to hour. His “battery” is quite sensitive to external circumstances- where in the month (in respect to his tsybri infusion) he may be, stress level, unforeseen events….

So I have to choose my energy expenditures carefully and remain flexible. Cleaning is at the far end of my list and is saved for days that have no other tasks that take priority.

Like today- weather’s crappy. No chance of heading down the driveway. And we promised Dave that we’d run a few loads of laundry and vacuum his main rug. Dan was going to do the vacuuming. I already did the laundry.

I am allergic to animal fur and dander. Vacuuming kicks it all up. Anti histamines knock me out. I have been known to shove tissues up my nose, just to slow the sneezing. Not pretty. Really.

Dan loves me and is happy when I’m happy. He thinks my sneezes are cute but prefers me awake. So he vacuums. Most of the time. But not today. Remember how I said the weather is crappy? Ice and water, bumpy and slick (AND wearing SLIPPERS!) All Together helped Dan test gravity. With his ass. (…it’s in the name…slip-pers…)

So I vacuumed with Dave’s ancient machine (sooo close to the end of its useable life) and noticed a straining of the motor (between sneezes).

It is a Dyson want-to-be with a canister collection bin. It looked a bit full. This is what I removed from said canister. Holding my breath.

Witty is this color. Pudders' underfur is the same

It worked far better afterwards. Still not well. Ugh.

In the end- The upstairs main rug and the back stairs were vacuumed. I’ve taken benedryl. I’ll be asleep within 15 minutes.

So if you do come over- make sure to comment on how lovely my home is, how warm it feels and complement me on how clean the stairs look. I’d rather have a love filled home, bursting at the seams with beauty and joy than a clean and tidy one. Any day.

Time to inspect Dan for any bad bruising and rest. My batteries are spent for now. Time to plug back in.

With Love, Light and Blessings- Peace be with us all..

fuzz

*maybe we should spend the day watching The Princess Bride? Btw- the book was written by the same guy who wrote the screenplay. So if you love the movie- you will love the book. Like a MLT but with more mutton…

As you get to know me, you’ll learn that my animals are a huge part of my life. I have a 13 year old cat (Bastian) and a 13 year old dog (Ophelia/Phia/Fee Dog). The terrible ice here has made it a challenge to do her “business”. And it has caused tummy troubles for her. We gave her rice and kibble for breakfast but still is having issues…

Phia resting on our bed, not feeling well and wants to be close

Help us send some light/love/prayers/blessings/good vibes/Reiki Healing for our precious pup.
Thanks- it means the world to us.
With great gratitude- Suz, Dan, Phia and Bastian