I have about 4 minutes until little Scotty-bear wakes up and am wracking my brain for some kind of interesting, pithy topic to blog on...but my mind is blank. Either I am extremely sleep-deprived (check) or just really dull today.

Things are just hunky around here. Had my 6-week post-partum check-up with George this morning and all went well. I really like him a lot better now that I'm not pregnant. I'm not sure if it was CatheterGate that brought us together, but he seems a little more friendly now. I appreciate a kind bedside manner, so this is boding well for this future.

The fibroid that started this all ("the fibroid that launched a thousand ships...") is back in the news. I'll be going in for an ultrasound to see the little stinker in all his glory in probably a month or so. The good news is that I don't need to make any immediate decisions re: surgery until we have more info, and even then, I can wait for a convenient time. Life is good when you feel like you're not running a million miles an hour.

Scotty is developing a schedule and is doing awesome. Speaking of awesome, we had a quick weight-check at Dr. Awesome's office today and he is 12lbs, 5oz. He is a little beefcake and we love it. He's doing great on the breast milk, so fingers are crossed. I had a lemonade last night which I have been fretting over for almost 24 hours now, but we'll see how he does. I've given up my dreams of a Pumpkin Spice Latte in 2009 - hell, Starbucks will be there in '10, right? I say this jokingly. In the months before Brian and I got married, I went on this crazy (though highly effective) diet. Every Monday, my intern (shout-out to Mariana!) and I would stop at Starbucks and every Monday, I would talk about how I wanted a 'sunshine cupcake' (white frosting, white cake, with yellow sprinkles - so beautiful, yet so simple) but would wait until after the wedding. This went on for months, me talking about damn sunshine cupcakes. Well, the week of our wedding, I kid you not, among all of the other horrors that were going on (if you don't know the story, don't ask), the factory that made the sunshine cupcakes burned to the ground. Mariana alerted me via email, but I was so numb from everything else it barely registered. She saved the day, though, and came to our after-wedding brunch with a whole box of sunshine cupcakes that she had personally made herself. Greatest gift, ever. Thanks, Mariana. You were always my favorite intern.

Okay, I don't know why I'm talking about sunshine cupcakes. Probably because I'm hungry. Seriously, though, I was thinking about why I will occasionally pick writing this blog over sleep (much to my mother and Brian's horror), and it hit me - I really like to write (duh) and writing makes me feel good. I get lost in my thoughts and typing and time will go by and I don't even notice it. There is this whole movement out there called Positive Psychology, and it defines the five tenants of happiness. (I'll tell you about the other four later). One of the tenants is that truly happy people find "flow" - i.e. some activity that creates/causes their brain waves to even out and just "flow,' creating a sense of overall well-being. For some people, they find their flow in painting or playing a musical instrument or running (um, no) or playing golf. But for me, I really feel like writing is my flow. When I was writing my (now defunct) book last summer, I swear, hours would go by and I would never glance at the clock since I was so heavily absorbed in what I was writing. I would start at 8am and be surprised when the clock said 2pm. It was great, even though the book never got off the ground. Thank goodness I have Brian or else I would be a very happy though very hungry writer.

So, as long as I have a computer, I'll likely keep writing. It really is a great medium. Not to mention, it's fun to go back and read old entries. I forgot how much I hated pregnancy. Wow, like I really hated it. Thinking back now, I would KILL for some time on my couch with nothing else to other than watch 'The Bachelorette' and eat brownies. But alas, time moves forward. You live, you learn. I really have lived A LOT in the past six weeks and I certainly have learned a lot. Motherhood is NOTHING like I imaged it. I thought it would be me and this snuggly baby, happily cooing at me, breast-feeding like a champ, and me, cloth-diapering mom, calm and relaxed. Instead, I'm exhausted, unshowered, frantic about the next feeding, frantic about the baby sleeping too long, frantic about the baby not sleeping enough, and there hasn't been any boob action in weeks (and will likely stay that way.) Oh, and disposable diapers are my friend. So, whatever. If anything, I've learned to be flexible.

Okay, little pumpkin is stirring. I hope everyone else is doing well. Oh, and to my friends that have been calling -- I swear, I will return your call one of these days. All of these early morning appointments this week have just killed me. I have been sleeping in the afternoon along with Scotty, making it impossible to get to the phone. Sorry about that.

Great post! The last part cracked me up when you had this idea how easy this would be. I think you, Brian, Kelly and I have learned a lot these past six weeks! This is way tougher than they tell you!!

Reply

Liz

10/2/2009 01:13:13 am

Kimmy,

You can have a pumpkin spice latte. Why not? Just modify it and get soy and decaf. I drank decaf lattes all the time breastfeeding - although now at 11 months I have given that up and little Wessy gets a little boost of caffeine too! I am going to try to wean the little guy from our last morning feedings this weekend. Its going to be tough give up and I am kinda sad, it means my little baby is now a big boy. Oh and he is getting his first hair cut this weekend too in preparation for his b-day!

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Mariana

11/24/2010 05:42:54 pm

Catching up on your blog today and noticed the link to Sunshine Cupcakes. What a crazy time. That story still makes me laugh though, about the cupcake factory of course not, you know...The donuts sound awesome!!!