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Your Brain Needs A Shower

Those accumulations of horrible feelings can get pretty unbearable at times. I mean, when something unpleasant happens, and you feel it, but you hold yourself from crying. Then once more, and another one. Like that, until the smallest thing makes you break down into tears, and you just can’t stop. Each tear is a different feeling from a different situation, and they all want to get out. It is then that you feel all of these things that you swallowed your tears for at once. Fear, Sadness, Worry, Regret, Loneliness, Failure, Unloveliness, Hopelessness, and the rest don’t have words. You can’t control yourself, and it’s painful. I hate not having control over my feelings and myself. So, I just cry. And, it helps. You should allow yourself to cry. After you’ve cried, forget about those feelings and see the good things in life. Those things that you are thankful for and don’t necessarily appreciate that often. Like.. your family, your friends, yourself and let yourself smile. A shower helps too, just saying. Try to see those. I’m not saying the pain will go away. Not even close. It’s there I can still feel it but it’s way better. Kind of like I have replaced a bit of the bad stuff by a bit of the good stuff. This is temporary though. I know I need to deal with them for them to fully go away, but I don’t have time to think. So I need a temporary “brainwash”.

You and I are different people, but I successfully managed to incorporate you in this text, even though it’s about myself. So.. maybe this works for you?

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Hey everyone! My name is Elisa and I'm a fourteen year old spanish girl. I'm currently living abroad and this international experience has surely changed how I view the world, how I think, what I believe, and who I am. I have a huge passion for words (well that sounds very... cliche, but it's true) no matter the language. I enjoy the fact that different languages have different "personalities" in them, and it's all because of culture. It's almost as if you are a completely different person when you speak a different language. The same idea is understood and comes across in a different manner, therefore the meaning and the "feeling" behind it is different. I guess that's why people that have similar cultural backgrounds and thus, speak the same language have some sort of ressemblance in some aspects. Speaking for myself, I love writing and reading in both Spanish and English because it enables me to convey, give out and broadcast different thoughts in different ways, and hence different sides of myself.
But why do I love words so much? Through words, we convey feelings, people, ideas, and everything in our lives which matters. It's our form of communication for all the above. As a person, I love people, ideas, and feelings. I'm really oriented towards these three things, because there is no one that is exactly the same as someone else. Everyone is different, unique, and each one has great ideas and a great character which distinguishes him/her from the rest. I don't know, but this area of life fascinates me, it's almost what I think completes my life. I live for people and by people. For the small things (or not so small), laughter, smiles, passions, dreams, bonds, goals, nature itself, love, trust people...
That was an insight to how I think and how I see life really, but more about myself... Well, I have my crazy side. I do the most random stuff at the most random places. Hahaha! I only do this with the people I can really let go with though. I play basketball, I listen to music, I'm just a typical teenager, really. A teenager who panics and gets stressed out easily and who gets carried away by emotions more than she should. A teenager looking for self-acceptance, rather than change.