A Lil' Boy's Journey to Live….

Today .. as I have for most of Riley’s life .. I went with him into the OR. As always I stayed with Riley until he was sedated .. Today seemed to take so much longer then usual and the entire time Riley was freaking out! He was given the happy juice but he has a pretty high tolerance and mainly because of the PTSD we wait to do the IV until he’s already sedated. Anyway .. my heart just ached for him! This little boy .. my little boy .. in this big bright operating room with at least a half a dozen people and most of them touching him for one reason or another. Being lifted .. 1 . 2 . 3 . Onto another table. A big mask coming towards your face. We tried the letting him smell it or kinda trying to do a blow by to get him a little more loopy but it wasn’t working. Dr Stevens kinda looked at me for approval and then said let’s just do it and we held Riley down while they held the mask on his face until he finally tuckered out and was done fighting it .. us. I hated having to do it but the fighting him or trying to console him was going nowhere.
No matter how many times I walk away and tell him it’s Ok .. I never know if what I’m saying is true!
Point of the whole rambling share .. This is Soo Hard!! Seeing Everything your child goes through just to live and all you can do is ride along beside them! Hold their hand and tell them everything will be Ok .. When you have that little place in your heart that knows that one day that may not be true .. ♡

~ This isn’t picture from today but it is Riley in an OR before a Cath. As you can see there are 3 people that are visible just in the picture that doesn’t include the other people you can’t see. Point? Overwhelming experience to go through especially as a child and repeatedly like it’s just a normal (Extremely Sucky) part of life.

I am so sorry Carol, it is just hearbreaking each and every time a parent has to go through something like this. All I can say is, thankfully… once our kids are home and away from the medical scene… they recover and think more of the here and now. WE… parents on the otherhand… remember! We have PTSD too… that is why it hurts so badly for us. Many hugs and prayers for Riley and you… we love you!!!