2016 resolutions

This list is not designed to be something I measure myself against for the next 12 months. If there's one thing I've learned it's that I don't really know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen or how I'll handle it. I try in every moment to do my best and to be a good person. And maybe it's because I do that that I sometimes find myself in places I could hardly have imagined I'd be.

I don't know if people who have life strategies really exist, or if they're just wrapping a flimsy narrative around the same arbitrary shit the rest of us more openly mutable folks are dealing with. Or maybe the path unfolds more steadily when you're more normative, but I don't really believe that either because there are a million idiosyncratic variations within even the most normative theme.

So, I'm pretty much skeptical about resolutions. But they have their allure to. It's nice to think about things you might accomplish. To imagine that tasks might unfurl and resolve in a steady sequence, creating a feeling of progress and advancement, as opposed to the haphazard ways in which wishes and dreams and opportunities really unfold, tumbling over each other, claiming utmost importance, appealing to romantic notions of meaning and magical timing.

We make resolutions because we want to improve and I'm not going to pooh-pooh that. We're really just hoping that the next twelve months will make us better people. And of course there'll be a gap between reality and the list, of course some of the list will look like the daydreams of a drunkard in the cold light of 2016. But there's nothing wrong with wanting to be a better person, in fact it's a lovely impulse. I'll make a list, but I'll really be measuring myself in the moments that I can't presage.

Beau. Beau has taken over my life right now and I really want him to be a happy, healthy and balanced pup (I already question whether I'm doing a good enough job with him). I think the key with Beau will be to enlist help... he's got kickass walkers and I just enrolled in classes. Everybody tells me to enjoy this puppy phase, but I can't wait until we've found a groove together.

Friendship. Romance occupies a position of extreme privilege in our relationship landscape. But for me, friendships are everything. I've lived without romance for a good many years. But there would be no life without friends. My own resolution is simply to always endeavour to be a good friend to those I love.

Fitness. I made fitness leaps and bounds in 2015. But I'm not at all strong and I should probably start to life things or something like that. I'm pretty skeptical that this resolution will manifest in any firm way, but I would like to build on the progress I made health-wise in 2015.

Finances. I really hate thinking about finances, but maybe I can apply some of the thinking that worked for fitness to my finances next year. It would be nice to surprise myself with some progress here.

Work. 2016 is just going to be a transformative work year and I can't wait for it. I think I'm going to do some cool things.

Reading. 2015 was not a great reading year for me. I tended to be out running when I had a free moment and when I was back home, the screens lulled me with their own mindless appeal. But I miss getting lost in the world of a book and of feeling transformed by the reading voice in my head.

Storage. I think the key to happiness in my apartment is sorting out some better storage configurations. I'll probably write a whole separate blog post about this, because it also goes back to that renter's dilemma about how much work you should put into a rental.

Get another tattoo. I started thinking about another tattoo almost immediately after I got my first one. I have ideas (of course) but they involve waiting lists, flights and scheduling, so we’ll see...

Turn 40 and be happy about it. This has been a major impetus for me for the past year really; I really don’t want to be a person who's miserable about aging. I think 40 will be okay, though. Maybe even great.