George Steinbrenner's Best Spoofs Of Himself

A lot of people hated George Steinbrenner, including Yankee fans. But they'd be well-served to remember just how bottom-of-the-barrel the team was when he bought it for $10 million (it's now worth $2 billion or so).

The Stadium was empty, the roster deplete, the minor-league system a joke. It took The Boss a while, but he made the Yankees hateable again.

2. On SNL. The Carl's Quik-Stop sketch has Phil Hartman as Pete, supervisor of a convenience store, pleading with his manager Carl (Steinbrenner), to fire an utterly hapless employee.

Pete: It's about Steve. He's not working out.Carl: Well, what should we do? Do you think I should talk to him again?Pete: No, Carl.. I think it's time you let him go.Carl: You mean, fire him?Pete: I don't think you have a choice. He's not doing his job, he doesn't show up half the time, and when he does he's rude to the customers.Carl: Geez, it just seems firing so extreme. How about if we just give him a warning? A warning can be very effective, you know?Pete: Carl, this can't continue! You've got twenty people on the payroll, and only five real jobs. Three employees are out there operating a cash register. You've got to start somewhere! I'll go get him. [ exits office ]Carl: [ alone, worried ] How? How do you fire a man? How do you look in his eye and tell him he's no longer needed? Who am I to judge another man?

3. On Seinfeld

"Lose a little weight, and then when they throw the bridal bouquet, you'll maybe get it."