We forget sometimes. But you know what else? "Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies." Ralph Waldo Emerson. Here, we will play with all of the above. Oh yeah.

6/22/11

Let the pity party begin!

It has been a challenging, trying almost year for the peawry. The fun began I would say last August when I posted the fateful "Life is good" status update to my Facebook. I should have known better. I am Greek origin. We do not tempt the Gods like this. But I was feeling good and happy and content about where I was in life. I had just met a lovely gentleman -- or so I thought. I had many good supportive friends -- or so I thought. And beautiful happy healthy pets -- or so I thought. The next day began the lesson which was to show me how wrong I was.

I thought I had been through all the crap already. I lost my parents young, had a very dysfunctional family where none of us every learned how to resolve conflicts in any peaceful form (and that is all I will say about that). One of the worst weeks of my life occured as I drove to my father's funeral, while my beloved dog was in surgery for testicular cancer, while in the midst of a terrible terrible divorce. I thought, "Okay, okay, Universe, I give up. You win!"

I had some peace for a couple of years. I lived with a boyfriend. Then we broke up the same day my youngest brother unexpectedly died. He was autistic but that had nothing to do with his death.

I bounced back of course. What choice do we have really? I threw myself into animal rescue. The best way to forget our own pain is through thinking of others, no? That and work. I adopted another dog. Then another.

And I of course had my amazing cat Milo that was the weirdest most emotional cat/dog I have ever had the pleasure to love.

But then last August I stupidly put that Facebook status up and the Gods punished me for my hubris. The very next day it began. Oh, it started small. I left my bag on the metro ... student assignments, agenda, some money (not much!) a few things like that. My contact lenses. It never got turned in.

A bike got stolen.

I sprained my wrist and had to wear a brace. For weeks.

My cat started to get sick.

The boyfriend started to not care about the cat. And wondered how I could be so upset. "It's just a cat."

I should mention he was moving here from far away to start a new life. That didn't work out.

I had a miscarriage.

A woman I greatly admired and loved died way too soon from breast cancer, leaving a young family.

My cat died, leaving me with a massive -- many thousands of dollars --vet bill. I had just finished paying off my brother's funeral and got stuck with another bill for almost the EXACT SAME AMOUNT. Ah, universe, how you make me laugh.

The cat died in my arms on a Sunday at 3 am.

I dumped the boyfriend because of the coldness and lack of support. I lost a couple of women I thought were friends for the same reason.

Cue me crying, wailing dramatically to the Heavens. Woe is me!!

I continued to rescue dogs because that is the only thing that saved me. I was suicidal, you see. The bills, the bouncing cheques, the venomous reactions from ladies I thought were my friends, the loneliness. I wanted to see my cat, my parents, my brother. I felt there was nothing here for me.

But I learned I was really really lucky. I learned there were a couple of people who cared. More than a couple. One woman, let's call her Magnolia, drove me back and forth to the hospital, even while she had her own kids to look after, her own ailing cat to worry about. This woman is an angel.

Another woman, let's call her Borealis, did the same. She sadly lost her cat shortly after too.

A fellow animal rescuer from New Jersey took pity on my and sent me a package, a gift from the gods, that saved me.

Another woman, let's call her Dany, wrote to me to check in on me when I had disappeared.

These angels saved me. These angels made me see the good in the world, that people do care, that people help each when the going gets tough. That they are not just friends when every thing is good.

For, you see, it is easy to be a good friend when all is happy singing and dancing and drinking wine. It is those who are there when you are crying over your dead parents, or dead baby brother, or dead baby, or dead cat that we must cherish..

I cherish these people more than they will ever ever know. These are the people that can call me day or night, and say, I have a problem. And before they hang up the phone, I will be beside their side.

I am a lucky lucky woman indeed. And I am grateful.

3 comments:

I love you, miss peawry.You are one of the strongest and most beautiful souls I know. I can imagine that it took a lot of gut to write about all of these items.I am optimistic that one day this will all turn out to be a cruel joke resulting in the bestselling autobiography of a fiery Greek soul who was humbled by fate.Hugs.

Pwry... hang in there. I know things might seem bleak right now and I don't want to give you any Dr. Phil BS that's supposed to make you feel better.. but hang in there. You're strong.. a lot stronger than many other people who would have crashed and burned a long time ago... but no, you hung in there. That counts for a lot. You're a fighter... and you have people who care about you. Sending you good vibes, a big hug, and raising my glass to you. Happy early Birthday :)