Mike S.

June 2001

Woo Hoo! It's All Over!

Happy month of June to you. That's right, as of the time you'll be reading this
article, I'll be preparing for Graduation and no longer will have to worry about
hiding who I really am from fellow classmates, for when I go to college, I can
be myself. This is a very exciting time for me, and I can hardly wait for all
the good things that are about to come my way.

As of this paragraph, I'm only a short TWO days away from Graduation Day, and
let me tell you, the excitement is almost too much! That's pretty much what
occupies my thoughts for the day--how fun it'll be, how sad yet joyous it will
be, and most of all, what happens after all the parties, all the celebrating,
and all the other stuff. I'll be at home for the few months during the summer,
and then it's off to college, four hours away.

What To Do 'Till Then?

I'm not sure what I'm going to do for most of those summer months other than
work, but I know that a lot of it is going to be with "B," whom you
met in last month's article. For those that have forgotten or haven't read last
month's article, "B" is the young (13--almost 14--years young, as
a matter of fact) man that has totally captured my heart. We play the same instrument
in band, and I give him lessons. We hang out and stuff after school (when I
give him a ride home), and just talk a lot. We're two good friends, the way
I see it, and I want to spend as much time with my friend as I can. Work and
"B," that's going to take up a lot of my time. And I don't mind one
bit.

I'm rather shocked: I should have about a gazillion things to say--especially
at this point in my life--but I'm coming short of words. There are, in fact,
quite a lot of good things that have happened the past few weeks. We had our
final band concert, which was SUPER duper fun, I won lots of awards (for band,
of course) at our recent awards ceremony thingy, "B" and I are getting
along really well (not that we were fighting, but there were some days where
I just wondered or not whether or not he even liked me all that much), and my
room is somewhat clean! How cool is that?! There are lots of other things, but
as usual, they aren't all coming to me right now, so I'll just have to leave
it at that.

About Last Month...

Last month's article about my (friendly) relationship with "B" generated
a lot of E-Mail; and I couldn't have been happier!!! All of them had really
cool things to say about it, and many related their own experiences to me, which
was really helpful. They all helped me see things a little differently, and
gain a little better grasp of how things could turn out. Thanks to all of those
that wrote, and if I didn't happen to write back, please understand that I read
all of your messages and promise to write back this month if you write me again
(I just haven't had a lot of time this past month).

I'm Still Happy

You never know how much something means to you until you don't have it anymore
or until you get it back. For most of this school year--I didn't realize it--I
wasn't as happy as I could have (should have) been. To this day, I still can't
pinpoint what was exactly was making me unhappy, or what was preventing me from
being happy, but I'm glad I'm over it. All I know is that I can attribute my
newfound happiness to the boy you met last month--that's right, the infamous
"B."

Perhaps it was because I had something to look forward to. I know how much he
respects me as a fellow instrumentalist and as a person, and I'm pretty sure
he knows how much I respect him, as well. With a lot of the friends I have now,
I still have things that I have to be careful of portraying, but with "B,"
I can be about as real as I can, without him knowing about my being gay. The
thing is, I think we have an understanding about that, though. He doesn't seem
to mind. Neither does his family--for now.

Random Thoughts (You Know I'm Running Out Of Ideas When You See This Title)

Gas is going to be way too expensive this summer! Dear Lord, how will we manage?!
Still though, we have some of the cheapest gas in the world, so we don't have
too much to complain when people are paying $5 a liter or some ridiculous price
like that. I just hope that it doesn't last TOO long...I want to be able to
go lots of places this summer!

I still have no idea who I'm rooming with in college. I'm kind of scared that
I might get some psycho creep from hell, but you never know. I could meet my
future husband (yay!). I'm going to have to get an apartment, since I'm going
to a community college, so that kind of sucks. In either case, I'm hoping that
I can make it through the first year alright. If I can do that, then the rest
*should* be a cakewalk. Let's hope so.

Look at that! I just got E-Mail. Unfortunately, it's junk mail. Yuk. Lately
I've been getting a lot of that, and frankly, it's pissing me off. I'm not sure
how my name and E-Mail address even got on any sort of list, but here we are.
Sometimes I'm solicited for credit cards, or sometimes for spying on people,
internet "opportunities," and my favorite, straight porn. Hah!

My goodness gracious, who invented those awful gowns and hats they use for Graduation?
Did these people have no fashion sense whatsoever? And I'm not even going to
begin to talk about practicality. Mercy me, I'm glad I won't have to do that
again for a while.

I Think That's It

I'm really sorry about this month's very sub-par article. I have a lot going
on and didn't have a lot of time to devote to this month's article. Next month,
God willing, will bring a fabulous article (or at least, one better than this).
Thanks for all your E-Mail from last month (you know who you are), and if any
of you would like to comment further about a possible relationship between a
14 and an 18 year old, please do so! All that I ask is that you read last month's
article first before you write. Thanks for reading this month, and I can't wait
till we meet again next month.

God Bless,

Mike

Mike is an 18 year old, semi-closeted individual living with his mom and stepdad.
He is interested in music, computers, music, reading, music, writing, writing
music, listening to music, composing music, arranging music, and other music
related things. Mike enjoys feedback and would like to hear from you, and can
be reached via ICQ: #56413145 or by E-Mail: Mike_17@gay.com