SportsCrack Blog

Friday, July 08, 2011

According to inside sources at Georgia expected starting tailback Caleb King has been ruled academically ineligible for 2011. In other words bring on the Isaiah Crowell-era.

King never lived up to his enormous potential while in Athens and now is the chance for incoming freshman Crowell to make a Marcus Lattimore impact on the Georgia Bulldogs program. Crowell will be the first person to get a handoff in the Georgia Dome against Boise State come September and if he stays healthy should get at least 20-25 carries a game. You hate to put a season all on one player and really it's not fair because football is a team game but if Georgia wants to go back to being a respectful SEC power they will need Crowell to have a huge season. Not a 750-1000 yard season. They need LaMichael James production out of his young legs.

Do I think he can do it? Sure he can. Why not? He has the skills and athletic ability to be the best collegiate tailback in the nation. But if you are Georgia fan you should feel uneasy about relying on a true freshman to carry the load and take you to the promise land. We aren't talking about Herschel Walker here. They only come around once every 50 years if you are lucky.

New preseason prediction: Georgia 7-5 with another shitty bowl appearance.

Well I guess this is just the first step in their recovery. Still in denial the Ohio State University vacated all of it's football wins in 2010 including the Sugar Bowl victory over Arkansas and the win over arch rival Michigan. They also imposed a two year probation on it's program which basically doesn't mean anything. They aren't going to take away scholarships or future bowl appearances. This quite frankly won't be enough to avoid the wrath of the NCAA. It's like putting a band aid on Brutus asshole. You can still see and smell the shit when it comes out.

The good news is Ohio State isn't taking any responsibility. Nope they are throwing all their eggs at Jim Tressel.

An "embarrassed" Ohio State University is wiping its stellar 2010 football season from the record books as self-imposed punishment for major NCAA violations.

But it is not suggesting that the team lose scholarships or be banned from postseason play.

In a response submitted today to the NCAA, Ohio State admits allegations that then-coach Jim Tressel lied and allowed ineligible players to compete by failing to report that they had sold OSU-issued memorabilia to a tattoo-parlor owner.

Ohio State concedes major violations of NCAA regulations but says it should not face harsher punishment, because no OSU official other than Tressel was aware of player violations, according to the response that was obtained by The Dispatch.

"The responsibility is upon Tressel. No other institutional personnel were aware" of the violations, and the former coach failed in his obligation to report them, the response says. "The institution is embarrassed by the actions of Tressel."

Seriously what a bunch of lying assholes. You trying to tell me it's all Jim Tressel's fault? Give me a fucking break. The athletic director knew shit was going on as well as the other coaches, the players, the fans, and everybody else surrounding the program. It's pretty fucking weak and cowardly to throw all the blame at Tressel no matter how convenient it is.

If anybody deserves a death penalty on their football program it's Ohio State. If you can't even admit when you fuck up then you deserve to be punished to the fullest extent. Vest in Peace Buckeyes.

I'm thinking the above picture gets the NFL Lockout over with. Friday Funbags is back for another edition. This week the submissions were pretty weak. I don't know if it's the heat of the summer and some of you are fading faster than the Baltimore Orioles but I really need y'all to step up your game and start playing like the Atlanta Bravos. I know it's fucking hot as shit and life is miserable but funbags make everything better. So please send in some more pics. I want tailgate pics too. You aren't just doing it for yourself or me. You are doing it for mankind and future generations. You can set the example. Now go out there and kick some funbags!

Kenny Powers is back and is now the new CEO of K Swiss. I'm not going to lie. I used to hate K Swiss shoes. They were fucking awful and when I wore them back in college my feet were literally bleeding from the narrow fit. But all that has changed my friends. Last year K Swiss was nice enough to send me a free pair of the Tubes. No strings attached they just wanted me to have them and give them a shot and see what I thought about them. They mentioned they saw my blog post about them in which I pretty much shit in their shoe and left it at the front step after ringing the doorbell. Well guess what? The new K Swiss Tubes are the fucking shit! In a good way. I've been wearing mine for over 6 months and they still feel comfortable as shit. They don't smell like cat urine like my Nike Shox either. And considering I got 2 titanium rods and 21 screws in my left leg (this is the part where you feel sorry for me and buy SportsCrack shirts) from a freak football injury I'm very particular about how my shoes feel and the support they offer.

In other words go buy some fucking Tubes. Now. And if I'm Kenny Powers and I'm the new CEO I make Matt Munoz the president. The kid knows his shit and knows how to sell a product. And if K Swiss wants to send me some more FREE Tubes that would be excellent. You know where to reach me.

I watched this last night and felt sick to my stomach when I heard Shannon Stone, a 39 year-old Rangers fan who brought his son to the game, fell to his death last night trying to catch a foul ball thrown in the stands from Josh Hamilton. I'm kind of surprised this doesn't happen more often. You always see fans leaning over the upper deck railing trying to catch a foul ball and wonder if they could fall over with a slip or some asshole tried to push them to get to the ball. But this kind of thing is just tragic. I feel horrible for the kid who just witnessed his Dad die trying to catch him a souvenir. I don't even know how you shake something like that. Hopefully the kid is young enough where he won't quite remember it when he is older. I think it's safe to say if this kind of awful shit happened to me at that young of an age I would not be a baseball fan. I would stick with a safer spectator "sport" like Nascar.

I'm not sure what was more inappropriate: the boob grab or the Orioles were up 2-0 on the Red Sox at the time. The Red Sox baseball announcers Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo handle it with class and dignity by giggling like little girls high on pot brownies. I think a more appropriate response and obviously more mature would have been to make a honking noise in a Peter Griffin voice. But that's just me. HONK HONK!