I was in the rough for a while. Finally mustered up the drive to get a grip, break out of my rut, get my head out of the sand, repair the chip off my shoulder, and here fore present you this last minute idea for Father’s Day. Yes. I’m back and unafraid to use a score of puns.

Here’s to the golfer dads in our lives — an accordion-folding, flag-raising, puntastic golf-themed greeting card — designed so you can tell him in a fair way:

Without much fuss, you can very quickly design a card using none other than your word processor. I made simple arrows and chevrons to create a design, as well as diamond-shapes to create flags. It’s not apparent — I printed blue ink on light green cardstock and green ink on light blue cardstock. The front and back panels are 3-3/4″ x 9-1/2″, to perfectly fit a size-10 envelope. The inner green panel is scored such that there would be three 3-3/4″ squares, plus 1/2″ on each end for adhesive. Each “hole” is made of randomly-shaped green cardstock, punched with a hole.

Now let’s putt it all together:

1. Using double-sided tape, affix your front and back panels to the inner panel to form an accordion-folding card.

2. Using double-sided tape, affix one flag to the end of a bamboo skewer.

3. Trim the skewers in different heights, ensuring they are not longer than the length of the front and back panels of the card.

4. Take your “on” flag and feed the skewer through the hole and secure on the back with double-sided tape. Affix mounting tape.

5. Tape down the skewer and the hole on one panel of the green.

6. Continue with the “the” and “green” flags to complete your card.

There it is, a father’s day card, crafted to a tee. Now if I’ve missed other golfing lingo, please feel free to gimme!