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OFF TOPIC: Why I, of Irish descent, hate St Patrick’s Day

Before we start, I’d like to say that I’m 7/8 Irish, the other eighth is from Scotland. And since it’s such a big deal with the Irish, yes, I’m Catholic.

That time of year again. National Beer Day, or as some people like to call it, St Patrick’s Day. St Patrick’s Day is technically a celebration of Irish culture and heritage. That’s rather interesting because the only other cultural holiday from another country celebrated here is Chinese New Year. Anyway, there is something that dissociates between them. One of them is accurate to the festivities in the original country. St Patrick’s Day is not that holiday.

Unlike Chinese New Year, where you can witness many Chinese traditions recreated in America, on St Patrick’s Day you can find pub crawlers in stupid costumes get their BAC somewhere near .90. Granted, that may be an exaggeration, but would it really surprise you? In Ireland, St Patrick’s Day is a Holy day. Its purpose is to commemorate the arrival of Christianity in Ireland, via St Patrick. Later, in places where Irish immigrants moved, it became a celebration of Irish heritage. According to the people who celebrate it now, Irish heritage consists of drunkenness, stupid costumes, and be obnoxious. If I must say, the think I hate the most is the clothing, the pinnacle of which are the hats. First off, those weird antenna-like things with shamrocks on the top that mostly girls wear are just plain stupid. Then there are the T-shirts. “Kiss me, I’m Irish” No, I’m not kissing you, and you’re probably not Irish. These clothes have more green than Fenway Park. People do the most obnoxious things on their pub crawls. Having your feet on the seat in front of you on the train? Check. Yelling curse words that echo around the block? Check. Jaywalk in the most random places? OK, I do that, but check. Also, “Patty” is a girl’s name. “Paddy” is the name you’re looking for.

My only question is, is this racism? (By the way, I didn’t come up with what you’re about to read) What they are doing is dressing up in stereotypical clothing of an ethnicity, doing stereotypical activities of that ethnicity, and than proceeding to act like stereotypes of that ethnicity. Imagine if people did that on Chinese New Year. Imagine if people wore exaggerated Chinese clothes, ate loads of rice, and spoke intentionally broken English. There would be massive outrage if people did that. Granted, that’s definitely a more extreme example from what we actually see on St Patrick’s Day, but it’s the same concept. This holiday celebrates Irish heritage by mocking it. That seems to contradict itself.

Oh, and also, don’t even consider going near a college campus when people are pub crawling. Don’t use public transit either. Unfortunately my calendar had me on Regional Rail on the 12th, and that was one of my most unpleasant train rides of all time.