05

Unbridled

Lady in bridal shop: What kind of dress do you think you’d like?Me: Not long or white, not strapless or halter… bright color, knee-length full skirt, no veil?Lady in bridal shop: Yeah, we don’t have anything like that. Why don’t you let me bring you some things I think you might like?Me: Sure, you’ve known me for 30 seconds now, that seems foolproof.Lady in bridal shop: [Brings me long white dress.]Lady in bridal shop: Do you want me to get you a veil to try?Me: No thanks, I don’t want a veil.Lady in bridal shop: Let me grab you a veil.Lady in bridal shop: [Puts veil on my head.]Lady in bridal shop: See, it looks so good! You should wear a veil. I mean, what other day in your life will you get to wear a veil?Me: Maybe when Nick dies fighting a holy war, and I enter a convent?Lady in bridal shop: [silence]Me: And then every day following that day, I guess.