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Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About

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No, not *my* girlfriend. Found this at Reddit. It's freakishly hysterical. Read it!

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Margret doesn't like to watch films on the TV. No, hold on - let me make sure you've got the inflection here: Margret doesn't like to watch films on the TV. She says she does, but years of bitter experience have proven that what she actually wants is to sit by me while I narrate the entire bleeding film to her. 'Who's she?', 'Why did he get shot?', 'I thought that one was on their side?', 'Is that a bomb' - 'JUST WATCH IT! IN THE NAME OF GOD, JUST WATCH IT!' The hellish mirror-image of this is when she furnishes me, deaf to my pleading, with her commentary. Chair-clawing suspense being assaulted mercilessly from behind by such interjections as, 'Hey! Look! They're the cushions we've got.', 'Isn't she the one who does that tampon advert?' and, on one famous occasion, 'Oh, I've seen this - he gets killed at the end.'

Loads of these rang true, but a massive DING DONG when I read the above.

Do all girlfriends/wives do this? is this a skill learnt somewhere, passed down from mother to daughter?

really though, it is a tad infuriating no? after the trouble I have had explaining the plot of Waking the Dead/silent Witness and well every TV Film or drama we watch I have promised myself never to watch the film Jacobs Ladder in her company!

I'm off to Germany for a few weeks. Apologies if my absence results in your doing any work.
#

Except, I have to pop back briefly to tell you what just happened. I'm about to cycle into town and Margret stops me as I'm setting off. 'Will you bring back that filing cabinet from Argos?' she asks. Can you, ladies and gentlemen, imagine a person cycling two miles through Christmas traffic on a mountain bike carrying a filing cabinet?
Margret can.
Right, I really must get packed for Germany now.

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