When I was still quite young, I was offered the chance to spend several weeks in the South of France. My Uncle was going to drive me down in his vintage MG sports car. There would be sun, sand and, crucially, French girls.

Not dumping mandrillous bird for two years (because she was a regular shag) who for example:

1) Cut her finger on a crisp packet, cried and made me take her to hosiptal thus ruining a perfectly good Friday night. (she was 18 by the way)

2) Came out for a drink with me and my dad, put a bar stool on her foot, cried and made me take her home after 10 mins. (19 at this time)

3) Ate a green peppercorn. I told her they were highly poisonous. Cue crying and demanding immediate trip to hospital again.

Dumped her eventually mind you. Wish I had much earlier. Then to make matters worse, soon after met beautiful older women with nice flat, who let me move in. Best sex of my life...ever...and we got on really well....great sense of humour...and I fucked it up by spending all my time playing pool and drinking beer with losers at the pub. She still put up with it for a year...but I cant believe what an asshole I was, most of the time, under the age of 30. Trying to get it right these days.
(Mandrill, Wed 11 Oct 2006, 0:18,
closed)