Arrrrrrrgh

Man, I hate days like today. Today’s badness actually started last night, when I realized that not only would I have to renege on my offer to watch J’s daughter this morning, but I’d have to ask J to watch the Hatchling so I could attend an orientation meeting for my new job (that they told me about 36 hours in advance, because, you know, why would you need more notice than that?). So I started off the day feeling like a schmuck, which is nice, and then I had to drag the Hatchling to an appointment with my OB so I could get a prescription for a different nausea medicine that will maybe work better than the current one. I don’t love taking the Hatchling with me to the doctor, but she was extremely well-behaved once she realized that we weren’t going to HER doctor, and no one was going to try and give her a shot. Only then they took my blood pressure, as they’re wont to do, and it was 218/96. No, you didn’t read that wrong. TWO HUNDRED EIGHTEEN. I just … I kind of didn’t even think your blood pressure could even GO that high. I had some high BP readings while I was pregnant with the Hatchling, which they monitored pretty carefully, but never THAT high, and as the pregnancy progressed my readings got back down into the normal range and it ended up not being a problem. 218/96, however, is a problem. So my Nurse Practitioner kind of freaked out, in her very low-key and supportive way, and retook the BP, and it was 178/110. WHICH IS NOT REALLY BETTER. And I just feel like: FUCK! You know? Why can’t my body just DO this? Why does pregnancy have to throw me for such a goddamn loop? I really, really, really hate this. It doesn’t help that I feel like this should have been preventable, and if I were just better about exercising or had lost some weight (yes, that demon is quick to rear its ugly head) then I wouldn’t have to be dealing with this. Which may or may not be true, but either way is water under the bridge and no help at all. And of course I spent the whole day stressing out about my BP, and trying to calm myself down from stressing out about it, because hello! stress just MAKES IT WORSE, and then I had a total breakdown when Mr. Squab got home, which he just LOVES, as you can imagine.

Yah. Good times. So tonight we went to the pharmacy to fill my new, expensive, oddly prohibited nausea scrip (the insurance co. only lets you get 12 pills at a time, for some unknown reason). And then we got me a home BP monitor, so I can keep track of it, and tomorrow I have to make an appointment with my internist so they can decide if I need to go on medication. (Since tonight’s reading was 206/120, I’m gonna guess that chances are good that I’ll be filling another scrip shortly.) ALL OF WHICH SUCKS.

I was really, really hoping that this time around would be easier. Guess that’s not how my fetuses (fetii?) roll. All I can say is, they better be the EASIEST TEENAGERS EVER, or we are going to have WORDS.