A New York man was cited for jaywalking yesterday. Dyp Shytte, 28, was observed jaywalking through rush-hour traffic shortly before five p.m. yesterday. Officer Ray Gingfist observed Mr. Shytte pushing a shopping cart full of severed human heads through dense traffic in what Officer Gingfist called, "a patently unsafe manner."

Jaywalking is defined as "the illegal or reckless pedestrian crossing of a roadway" and is a crime because it not only puts the pedestrian at risk, but can ultimately lead to a chain-reaction of unfortunate events such as: buses swerving into crowds of Japanese tourists, bike messengers braking too hard and flying over their handle-bars and flying face first into open manholes, and cab drivers spilling coffee onto their instrument clusters and / or fare meters.

/Shouldn't headlines focus on the most important event out of the entire sequence of events? I think the lap-dancing is secondary to the marijuana and booze filled sextathlon at the guy's house. Maybe?

My wife works in child protective services and last week she told me about this 13 year-old who accused her father of sexual assault, hence the investigation, only to have her whole story fall apart. Then she accused the mother, a teacher, the school nurse, the cop that was investigating the initial claim, and my wife who had never been alone with her.

The only person not accused was her 21 year old boyfriend, who had apparently got her pregnant. In reality, her parents did horrible things to her like forbid her from seeing the boyfriend, forbid her from drinking, threw away her marijuana, threw away her meth, then went to the boyfriend's apartment to get back the things her daughter had stolen of theirs for him to go and sell in order to buy more meth.

So she accused everyone and their dog of abuse. This kid came from a wealthy family and they were unable to control her. The kid figured she could get freedom by getting put in a shelter then running away from the shelter.

Hearing similar tales from my wife has led me to always doubt these stories when I see them. Kids these days think they can call foul and get everything sorted. It's quite possible he did abuse her, but equally possible that he gave her a C and she wanted payback.

Lucidz:Good point m00... Also, in addition the the lap dances, she hopped in the car with him, went back to his place, got blazed up, got drunk and then had consensual sex.

The word assault gets used liberally in situations like these so that no one focuses on the fact that the 16 year old girl was a raging whore bag who's probably been passed around like a joint at a concert.

I'm a little puzzled by that also. I expected the article to say something like "threatened with lower grades." With the bit about Michael driving her to his home it sounds more like they were in a relationship that went south. Similar stories have come up here on fark.

I keep hearing that students these days are even more disrespectful, less likely to listen, more scornful of authority, etc. than in the past. Shouldn't it follow that it would be more difficult to force today's students to do things they don't want to?

enderthexenocide:when i hear about things like this, i always wonder exactly how they thought they were going to get away with it. how did this teacher not realize that this was going to ruin his career and probably send him to jail? was he so horny and attracted to that girl that he was blinded to all consequences? "i know, i'll ask this 16-year-old to do lap dances in class, and then i'll take her home during school hours to give her some pot and have sex with her! this is a win-win situation! there is literally no way this can backfire on me!"

I always think this when I see stories like this. I mean it feels like we have these stories multiple times a week, why do people still think they're going to get away with it?

Also it doesn't matter if the sex was consensual, he's in a position of power so he'll lose his job and can never teach again. Don't like it, don't become a teacher.

Lucidz:Good point m00... Also, in addition the the lap dances, she hopped in the car with him, went back to his place, got blazed up, got drunk and then had consensual sex.

The word assault gets used liberally in situations like these so that no one focuses on the fact that the 16 year old girl was a raging whore bag who's probably been passed around like a joint at a concert.

The teacher is obviously a douchetard who deserves to get his orifices violated, but the story makes no sense. I doubt she was "forced" to do a lap dance, and had alcohol and maryjay smoke forced down her gullet, etc.

alcoda:Lucidz: Good point m00... Also, in addition the the lap dances, she hopped in the car with him, went back to his place, got blazed up, got drunk and then had consensual sex.

The word assault gets used liberally in situations like these so that no one focuses on the fact that the 16 year old girl was a raging whore bag who's probably been passed around like a joint at a concert.

regardless, he should know better

I'm with you. He's through professionally, and will lucky if he gets the charges down to statutory rape... It was a dumb move on his part to even partake of the forbidden fruit, but I don't by the "the girl is the victim" BS.

Good point m00... Also, in addition the the lap dances, she hopped in the car with him, went back to his place, got blazed up, got drunk and then had consensual sex.

The word assault gets used liberally in situations like these so that no one focuses on the fact that the 16 year old girl was a raging whore bag who's probably been passed around like a joint at a concert.