Shark! Shark joke! Warning! Hickenlooper is telling it again

Gov. John Hickenlooper is back with his shark joke and I’m sure it’s eliciting groans, just like it does every time he tells it.

Gov. John Hickenlooper. (The Denver Post)

I first heard the joke at the Denver County Democratic Party assembly in April and when I wrote about it a staffer e-mailed me to say, “Not the shark joke.” But there are plenty of people out there who like it, as evidenced by the laughs he got at the assembly at North High School.

Hickenlooper now is repeating the joke in his e-mail fundraising appeal, only this time the daddy shark and not the mommy shark gets the punchline. Today is the deadline for state candidates to collect money in the latest fundraising period, from June 26 to July 26. The results are due to the Colorado Secretary of State by Aug. 1. The governor’s point: Sharks are like out-of-state groups that run ads that try to scare the poop out of voters.

“We need your help to keep the sharks from winning,” the governor says in his pitch.

Hickenlooper faces Republican Bob Beauprez, who won the June 24 GOP gubernatorial primary over three GOP rivals. The Republican Governors Association last week campaigned for the former congressman.

Here’s the shark joke — brace yourself:

A family of sharks is swimming in the ocean when they come upon an overturned boat. Seeing the people clinging to life jackets, the daddy shark thinks to himself, “Ah hah! A learning opportunity!” He turns to his young shark son and says, “Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to swim very close to the people with our fins just barely sticking out of the water. Then, we’re going to swim even closer to them with our fins all the way out of the water.” The baby shark says, “I can do that!” So they do, and scare the bejeezus out of the poor people in the water. The baby shark says, “Boy! That was fun. Now what do we do?” The daddy shark looks at him and says, “Son, now we go gobble them up!”

And they do. Afterwards, the baby shark is floating on his back, stuffed to the gills and he says, “That was the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten, but why did we have to swim around them twice?”

The daddy shark turns to his son and says, “Humans are the most scrumptious delicacies in the whole world. But they’re even better if you scare the poop out of them.”

The governor must have a thing about sharks. After President Obama beat Hickenlooper during a game of pool in Denver earlier this month, the governor proclaimed the president, “a shark.”

… and this is newsworthy because? Seriously this is neither news nor worthy of a big city newspaper. Mayberry yes, Denver no.

GenePH

. . only the president is still full of poop.

FocoRigido

Hickenlooper-Bloomberg Jr. knows there’s Legions of CO Citizens who supported, voted for him who aren’t laughing, nor will they be making the mistake of voting for him the 2nd time. He’s proven beyond question he’s untrustworthy and his allegiance is 100% to East Coast Billionaire Politician(S) and other (D) interests who control him. CO Citizens were nothing more than Pilitical Science Lab TRats for him and his East Coast handlers. He was a failure as a Mayor [ the LoDo ‘knockout games’ and his infamous…”THAT buck doesn’t stop here!!!”] , and a colossal failure as a Governor.

As he cracks lame, stale ‘jokes’ in the vain attempt to resurrect his ‘aw shucks’ image, he knows he’s finished politically in CO. He’s just putting on the front expected and demanded of him by his handlers and the (D)emocrat Party.

If his sense of humour isn’t any better in Nov. than it is now, he’s gonna be one distraught ex-gov. Now, THAT’s funny. :)

RobertChase

No, the gun-nuts didn’t vote for him much the first time; the whole Bloomberg conspiracy idea is a figment of what passes for teabillies’ imaginations. Hack has sold out to cops and corporations — just the way we might expect Bob to do.

U.S. Citizen

Based on Hickenlooper’s pathetic legacy, the sharks would have to circle him at least a dozen times …

JennyVegas

Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far the>CLICK NEXT TAB FOR MORE INFO AND HELP

RobertChase

Bartels really, really wants Hack re-elected — suppose it might take more than old photos and jokes to accomplish that?

Lynn Bartels

CBuff:

This is a blog. As such sometimes it’s breaking news about a serious subject, sometimes it’s about a politician having a baby. When I celebrated my birthday in May it made Playbook, a widely read political column. The lead story that day: Liz Cheney dropping out of the Senate race.

Mike Clark

Hickenlooper is the person in the water about to be eaten.

kdhardy

This is a joke? I thought it was Hickenlooper explaining liberalism. The sharks,played by the Democrat Party, the people, played by the people. The sharks scare the poop out of the people, by swimming close to them. The Democrat Party scare people by lying to them about Republicans, while NOT telling the people what they want to do to the people.. Who is playing a joke on the people for there gain? The sharks. Yes, more of an explanation of what Democrats do to their people for their political gain.

Joey Bunch has been a reporter for 28 years, including the last 12 at The Denver Post. For various newspapers he has covered the environment, water issues, politics, civil rights, sports and the casino industry.