"You think she's pretty now, you shoulda seen her before. I mean, she's still pretty. Heavier, but pretty."

"You'll be a good pipe welder. You won't lay down a pretty bead, but you'll get the job done."

"Atleast you don't look like that girl over there... You know... all hot and used to guys doing everything for them. Then when they turn 30 and lose their looks they'll be hopeless. I mean....no offense. You have a normal nose." p.s. I'm 35.

"Ummm... you have pretty boobs."

"You're better than I thought you'd be." (regarding work)

"I thought you were so hot when you were younger."

"I've always had a thing for unusual lookin' chicks."

"You've never looked better!" (I was sickly, pale, and gaunt after being quarantined and hospitalized for Meningitis.)

"Hmmm. He's not who I pictured you with. He's better." Uh, thanks... I guess...

"I was just talking to someone about how it's important to make a good first impression. I use you as an example to the students of what happens when you don't. I mean really! You worked great for me. I don't know how you ended up with your image."