Gregg Easterbrook definately doesn't know football

Did any of you fellow Texan fans see this clowns article "The tuesday morning quarterback"? Did he even see the game on saturday? How about how baffled he was at how we dropped from 16th in defense in 2002 to 31st in 2003. Injuries you *****! The most in the league and we still played some of the best teams in the nfl to the wire. What a joke. Here is a link to the article. I'll attach what he wrote obout the Texans below.

Houston
What in the Sam Hill happened to the Texans defense? In 2002, the Houston defense was 16th ranked -- not bad considering the team's awful offense meant the defense was on the field too much. The 2002 defense played several monster games, including a late-season 24-6 Houston victory at Pittsburgh, a playoff club that year, in which the Texans defense scored twice. But in 2003, the Houston defense placed itself at a right angle to everything (quick, who gets this Heinlein reference?), finishing 31st-ranked, five times giving up 30 or more points, allowing 125 points in the fourth quarter. And Texans coach Dom Capers preaches defense. Of course, the Houston offense was horrible too, also finishing 31st overall. A major improvement from its 2002 finish of 32nd! So perhaps the sustained cover-your-eyes awfulness of the Houston offense finally wore out the Houston defense.

Considering how bad Houston was on both sides of the ball -- 31st-ranked offensively and defensively, outgained by an average of 111 yards per game -- the hand of the occult seems present in the fact that this club managed to win five times. The mystery deepens: Houston beat Super Bowl entrant Carolina, took Super Bowl winner New England to overtime and ended its season with close defeats to Indianapolis and Tennessee, both playoff-bound. How did this team accomplish anything, considering its defense was terrible, its offense was terrible and it had no kick-return game to boot?

Winning five again may represent a challenge. The team gained little in free agency, other than managing to acquire salary-cap problems despite starting off with a blank cap two years ago. Plus, the Texans are handicapped by what are among the most boring uniforms in pro sports. Those blah uniforms make the Texans look slow, perhaps make them feel slow. Considering that the color scheme of red, white and American flag blue is currently not in use in the NFL, why not switch to it, Houston? Red, white and flag blue is, not to put too fine a point on it, the single-most successful color scheme in world history.

Fun fact: David Carr wears his wedding ring while playing. When TMQ coaches in a county flag football, the refs require players to remove all jewelry. Sounds smart. How does Carr get away with this? So far as TMQ knows, Carr is the first NFL gentleman since Miami punter Reggie Roby -- who in the 1980s inexplicably wore a watch on the field -- allowed to flash an accessory that has nothing to do with football.

Man I've seen some Texan bashers, but this guy takes the cake. He completely blasts the Texans in all 3 phases of the game. He says our offense and defense our "horrible." He bases his entire opinion on the fact that the Texans ranked 31st on offense and defense. He never mentioned we played without both of our pro-bowlers, started 2 rookies on offense, and led the NFL with 17 guys on IR.

Winning five again may represent a challenge. The team gained little in free agency, other than managing to acquire salary-cap problems despite starting off with a blank cap two years ago. Plus, the Texans are handicapped by what are among the most boring uniforms in pro sports. Those blah uniforms make the Texans look slow, perhaps make them feel slow. Considering that the color scheme of red, white and American flag blue is currently not in use in the NFL, why not switch to it, Houston? Red, white and flag blue is, not to put too fine a point on it, the single-most successful color scheme in world history.

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Absolute moron.....little in FA?
This has got to be the WORST writer I have ever seen.

Easterbrook's job, as Lucky alluded to eariler in the thread, is to be funny. Dont read him if you want great info. Read his articles if you want to be entertained....

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I am an open-minded individual, but I just could not see the funny or entertaining part of this, because his information is so off. Somebody needs to send NFL.com a letter when the Texans manage to muster those 5 wins he so graciously said we would have a hard time getting.

I don't know, I have trouble getting too offended over this. Last season (or maybe it was the year before, I don't know. It's been a while) he wrote a really funny piece about why rushing yardage keeps going down. His explanation was that the offensive linemen keep getting bigger and now they've reached the point where there's no room to run between them. It was pretty funny.

This one just missed the mark and was full of misstatements. I never considered him to be an "analyst" in the least though. He does slightly funny pieces about football. Sometimes he hits and other times he misses.

If this was on ESPN's Page2 (where it belongs), I'd laugh it off. But to read on NFL.com that the Texans will be lucky to win 5 games, got zilch in free agency, and have salary cap problems is just too much. Writing for the official site requires a little research rather than pulling assertions out of your rear.

This is what happens when the society page guy, who usually covers weddings trys to cover football. Come on guy watch some football once in a while, don't try to go off stats.

The really sad thing is that I'm starting to become numb to this type of coverage, it use to piss me off when the Texans got no respect, now it is like a everyday thing like the wind blowing. I guess it is good for my blood pressure that it doesn't bother me anymore.

IF Gary Walker is able to give us three more seasons, he will still cost over $5 million to cut prior to the 2007 season. He's signed through '09 but he's already 31 years old. That and the other 20 million in s/b they gave to Smith and Wade is the kind of cap stuff he's talking about.

Guys go ahead and laugh it off anyway. Seriously, you should welcome the lack of respect. It's going to make the payback that much more enjoyable. If it was up to me I'd like to see just about everyone across the country not taking the Texans seriously for the majority of the season. Once we get about 4-5 games into 2004 though it won't last. The same people who don't think they're going anywhere are going to be doing features on them and acting like they were in the know from the very beginning.

To most of the talking heads and writers this probably seems like a safe assumption. Picking the Texans to barely improve over last year is the safe pick and honestly, how did that quote go? "We are what our record says we are"? To date they've played tough and shown some heart but they haven't had success yet. National media type respect comes after you demonstrate some success so fine. Let them say whatever they want to say because those same guys are going to be lining up with their hats in their hands to get on the bandwagon when the time comes. If they don't think the time is now then fine to that too. It IS early. The target was 2005. If we make some waves this year then that's just gravy.

I think it's great to have more people like him, I always liked to see people eat their words. The Texans after week 5 will be 5-0 and all those ediots will be trying to jump on wagon and no one in the media will bring up what they wrote before the season.