10 ‘perfectly normal’ boob-shaped things you can buy on the Internet right now

Trust us, it's fantastit

Any adult Game of Thrones-watching, fidget spinning heterosexual dude will tell you that he loves boobs. You, straight man (yes you), might say that you love boobs. But do you really? Do you have a boob-shaped stress ball? Or a boob hot water bottle? Do you drink your coffee from a boob every day? No? Then you, my friend, simply do not love them enough; because if you did, you would be the proud owner of at least one of these mind blowing inventions.

These everyday things, moulded to resemble mammaries, are a must-have for the discerning gentlemen whose hobbies include (but we genuinely hope are not limited to) appreciating the human form. Also, ladies, if you love what you’ve got, feel free to pick one up for yourself; because breast aficionados come in all shapes, sizes and genders.

No, we’re not trying to lecture you on political correctness. We’re just trying to help you realise that your interests – both of them, or in some cases, all three – are shared by the unlikeliest of people. Of course they would be. Who doesn’t love boobs? Boobs are soft. Boobs are beautiful. Boobs don’t judge. Be like boobs; and until you can, here’s a load of boob-shaped merch to keep you occupied.

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Check out this perfectly squeezable boob-shaped stress ball.

Or this literal beer nipple.

For times when you want your two favourite things in your mouth at the same time.