Want to run a successful book club? Avoid wine, steer clear of Middlemarch and don't mention Sean Bean

Up and down the country book clubs are flourishing as middle class Brits quest
for self-improvement and ways to impress their dinner guests with knowledge
of the classics.

Sean Bean may be a hit in Game of Thrones but discussions about the actor should be avoided in book clubsPhoto: SKY

8:00AM BST 16 May 2012

While many stick to the material, some are less disciplined, with conversation sliding away from narrative structure and character development into gossip and what's on TV.

Now a definitive lists of book club 'don'ts' has been drawn up by the influential Middle Class Handbook website to help members keep discussions on track.

The no-no's include: ditching what it calls the "over opinionated friend", staying away from ambitious themes, keeping alcohol intake to a minimum and banning television adaptations and all ninetieth century novels.

It declares the ultimate death sentence for a book club is George Eliot's Middlemarch.

And members say any clubs which discuss Sean Bean are 'destined for failure.'

On outspoken members, the blog says: "The point of a book club is to talk about the book. None of this is possible if one member insists on shrieking 'It's an allegory!!! It's a bloody allegory, why are we still talking about this?'

"Because no one will want to ask the over zealous member to leave, the book club will either have to start meeting in secret (awkward) or just give up altogether (sad, but preferable to hideous discussion with book club bore.)

On book club themes, it says: "If your book club is going strong, you may be tempted to stretch it a little further.

"Wouldn't it be fun, someone will say, to make some food that goes with the book? We ate pie with the Life of Pi, hot dogs with The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, but it was a few good months before anyone felt brave enough to follow the authentic Ukrainian national dishes (and music) that accompanies A Short History of Tractors in Ukraine.

"Keep any food simple. Crisps and olives will do."

It also warns of the perils of too much alcohol, which it says will wash away any post book club glow.

"It's nice to be out on a weekday and one more glass wont hurt, but it's easy to get carried away. Soon the book discussion is dispatched within ten minutes and the rest of the evening is spent dissecting husbands and exes and polishing off another bottle or two.

"Terrible mid week hangovers utterly wipe out the warm glow one expects from a book club, and people will stop coming," it says.

Middlemarch should be avoided

It names Middlemarch as "the death knell for a book club".

The blog adds: "Someone will confess 'I've never read Dickens' and it' only a short hop from there until 'we should try the classics' rears its fearful head.

"Attempt anything pre-1900 and over 450 pages and your book club will shrivel up and die."

Finally it says films and television adaptations are a big no-no.

"Can't we just watch the film? What about the BBC adaptation on DVD? The book club that drifts away from books towards discussions of Sean Bean is destined for failure." ends