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Friday, October 1, 2010

Imitation

Vicki is turning 10 in just over a month.

The drama is beginning.

The two of us have very similar personalities (although she’s stubborn and I’m not. I’m NOT!) and we tend to clash very easily. I’ve been working hard on finding the best way to communicate with her when she’s upset, but Wednesday evening was not a good one for our relationship. Not good at all. It culminated with her screaming that no one loved her, least of all me. And she clearly wasn’t feeling too kindly towards me herself.

She apologized, but seeing as how she was going to be grounded when she got home from school on Thursday, a grudge was certainly being held.

She and some of her sister Girl Scouts are helping the school counselor make a movie to instruct good behavior in the lunchroom. They were scheduled to begin filming on Thursday. They’re not going all out in the costume department, but they all wanted to wear fun glasses (they’re supposed to be reporters). There was some miscommunication about who was providing the glasses, so Thursday morning I told Vicki I’d go to the dollar store and see what I could find and bring them to her when I dropped off “the machine” (which turned out totally awesome, by the way.)

I picked up four pairs – in case any of the other girls needed some – of cheap reading glasses and popped the lenses out (my skillz at this date back to pre-marriage days when my cousins and I wore Buddy Holly glasses, wigs, and housekeeping uniforms to the bowling alley, but that’s a post for another day.) The glasses were all pretty much alike in design, with gorgeous rhinestone jewels all around the frames, but there were four different colors to choose from: blue, pink, brown tortoiseshell, and black.

I let Vicki have first pick and was sure she’d go with the blue ones. But she surprised me by choosing black.

When I asked her why, she said, “Because they’re like yours.”

Oh.

My motivation to maintain a good relationship through her tween and teen years instantly doubled and redoubled.

Vicki seems to really know she is deeply loved despite outbursts to the contrary. I have distinct memories where I was truly convinced my parents were the most stupid people alive and told them so. I guess it is all part of the process, but can I say I am truly grateful to watch you go through it first before I do. Mostly because I think you are an awesome mom and I want to be able to learn from you.