Billy Flynn, a divorced father with two sons, recently celebrated his ex-wife’s birthday alongside his kids. The reason why has become an internet sensation, with thousands of people weighing in on Flynn’s decision to choose respect over retaliation.

Flynn will be the first to admit that creating a relationship based upon respect with his ex-wife has been incredibly difficult, but if he can do it, he promises that anyone can. While many divorcees repeatedly bash their ex in front of their children, Flynn is well aware that his sons are paying attention to the way he treats their mom, and chooses to respond in a different way.

Flynn posted his story on Facebook, sharing the reason why he chose to wake up early to purchase gifts for his ex-wife’s birthday, and helped his kids cook her breakfast. Frustrated that people tend to see his actions toward his ex as weak or a waste of time, he explained that his actions aren’t really meant for his ex at all.

“It’s my ex-wife’s birthday today, so I got up early and brought flowers and cards and a gift over for the kids to give her and helped them make her breakfast. Per usual someone asked me why the hell I still do things for her all the time. This annoys me. So ima break it down for you all.

“I’m raising two little men. The example I set for how I treat their mom is going to significantly shape how they see and treat women and affect their perception of relationships. I think even more so in my case because we are divorced. So if you aren’t modeling good relationship behavior for your kids, get your [stuff] together. I don’t care if she’s a [jerk]. Rise above it and be an example. This is bigger than you.”

“Raise good men. Raise strong women. Please. The world needs them, now more than ever.”

“I’m raising two little men,” Flynn wrote in part. “The example I set for how I treat their mom is going to significantly shape how they see and treat women and affect their perception of relationships.”

Flynn implored readers to focus on raising good men and strong women. “The world needs them, now more than ever,” he wrote. He says the path to respect is to focus on what is best for the children.

“Divorce is hard and I think we all do and say some things that really aren’t our best selves,” Flynn explained. “But we always put the kids first, and honestly, I think that focus helped us repair our relationship into one of mutual respect over time, and our kids win as a result.”

“Kids want to care for their parents by nature, but they can’t do it alone. It’s our job to facilitate that,” Flynn stated. “So even if your ex is a terrible person in your eyes, you need to set it aside and realize your kids love this person. Seeing you mistreat someone they love is traumatic, whether you want to own it or not.”

Flynn said that taking the focus off your own pain and putting your kids’ needs first can lead to an amicable post-divorce relationship.

“I think you’ll be surprised to find that your mutual focus on the kids will actually benefit your post-divorce relationship because it takes the spotlight off your individual hurts and anger and resentment,” he explained.