All the public business in Congress now connects itself with intrigues,
and there is great danger that the whole government will degenerate into
a struggle of cabals.-John Quincy Adams

America, where thanks to Congress, there are forty million laws to
enforce the Ten Commandments.-Anatole France

Being elected to Congress is regarded as being sent on a looting raid
for one's friends.-George F. Will

But with Congress- every time they make a joke it's a law. And every
time they make a law it's a joke.-Will Rogers

Congress acknowledged that society's accumulated myths and fears about
disability and disease are as handicapping as are the physical
limitations that flow from actual impairment.-William J. Brennan,
Jr.

Congress is continually appointing fact-finding committees, when what we
really need are some fact-facing committees.-Roger Allen

Congress is so beholden to the money that any solution in the general
interest will be frustrated and subverted by the corporate interests who
feel they will be damaged by progress, fair play and justice.-E.L.
Doctorow

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody
listens-and then everybody disagrees.-Boris Marshalov

Congress no longer declares war or makes budgets. So that's the end of
the constitution as a working machine.-Gore Vidal

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,
except to encourage attendance in Christian churches; or prohibiting the
free exercise thereof, except to require prayer in schools; or abridging
the freedom of speech, except for those questioning the Bush
administration; or of the press, except that not owned by Rupert
Murdoch; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, except those
protesting pre-emptive wars; and to petition the government for a
redress of grievance, except those we don't like.-Gary Hart

Congress: the legislative stone in America's urethra.-Jon Stewart

Fifty years ago I promised myself that I would retire on the day that I
would be required to write a song about trans-vaginal ultrasounds. I
decided to unretire when I heard that member of Congress had been
cavorting in the Sea of Galilee. How can you make that up?-Mark
Russell

He still had a fragment of his boyhood belief that congressmen were
persons of intelligence and importance.-Sinclair Lewis

I am amazed that Congressmen can pass a bill imposing severe penalties
on anyone who burns the American flag, whereas they are responsible for
burning that for which the flag stands.-Alan Watts

I'll sign on for results-based pay for teachers the day Congress gets
the same deal.-John Fugelsang

I've had a tough time learning to act like a congressman. Today I
accidentally spent some of my own money.-Joseph P. Kennedy II

If I was a President and wanted something I would claim I didn't want
it. Congress has not given any President anything he wanted in the last
ten years. Be against anything and then he is sure to get it.-Will
Rogers

If the presidency is the head of the American body politic, Congress is
its gastrointestinal tract. Its vast and convoluted inner workings may
be mysterious and unpleasant, but in the end they excrete a great deal
of material whose successful passage is crucial to our nation's survival.-Jon
Stewart

In a body (like Congress) where there are more than one hundred talking
lawyers, you can make no calculation upon the termination of any debate.-Franklin
P. Adams

In your country club, your church and business, about 15 percent of the
people are screwballs, lightweights and boobs and you would not want
those people unrepresented in Congress.-Alan Simpson

Invest in America. Buy a Congressman. (T-shirt)-Unattributed

Only the good die young, which explains the average age of Congressmen.-Unattributed

Other employees would do no better than Congressmen if the boss showed
an interest in them only once in two years.-Unattributed

Sloths move at the speed of congressional debate but with greater
deliberation and less noise.-P.J. O'Rourke

Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it.-Cullen Hightower

The establishment of the chaplainship in Congress is a palpable
violation of equal rights as well as of Constitutional principles. The
danger of silent accumulations and encroachments by ecclesiastical
bodies has not sufficiently engaged attention in the U.S.-James
Madison

The mistakes made by Congress wouldn't be so bad if the next Congress
didn't keep trying to correct them.-Cullen Hightower

The people of these United States are the rightful masters of both
Congresses and courts, not to overthrow the Constitution, but to
overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.-Abraham Lincoln

The Republicans in Congress lost their way. They swapped principle for
power. They ended up with neither. They deserved to lose.-Alan
Greenspan

The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live
in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the
President has to tell 'em.-Will Rogers

The United States Congress, like a lot of rich people, lives in two
houses.-John Green

The White House used to belong to the American people. At least that's
what I learned from history books and from covering every president
starting with John F. Kennedy. But now the 201-year-old Executive
Mansion belongs only to a select, elitist group of people, including top
government officials, members of Congress and the press corps. They and
some others, all of whom are screened in advance, are welcome. But most
people are not- not anymore.-Helen Thomas

There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican
congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen.-Unattributed

There are people in Congress I would not trust to look after my plants.-Andy
Borowitz

There are so many women on the floor of Congress, it looks like a mall.-Henry
Hyde

There is more selfishness and less principle among members of Congress,
as well as others, than I had any conception (of), before I became
President of the U.S.-James K. Polk

There is no distinctly American criminal class- except Congress.-Mark
Twain

There's not an action that I take that you don't have some folks in
Congress who say that I'm usurping my authority. Some of those folks
think I usurp my authority by having the gall to win the presidency.-Barack
Obama

They go up there and forget who brung 'em to the dance. (re: Congressmen
in Washington DC)-Ann Richards

They say that women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you
know that the filibuster was invented by men.-Clare Boothe Luce

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as
when the baby gets hold of a hammer.-Will Rogers

Too many critics mistake the deliberations of the Congress for its
decisions.-Sam Rayburn

We elect Democrats to the Congress to give us stuff and we elect
Republicans to the White House so we don't have to pay for it.-Charlie
McDowell

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and
complex-but Congress can.-Cullen Hightower

Well, they finally stopped us from sending marines to every war that we
could hear of. They are having one in Afghanistan. The thing will be
over before Congress can pronounce it, much less find out where it is
located.-Will Rogers

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican
congressmen do to the country.-Bill Maher

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they
deem it necessary? (As Washington, DC mayor)-Marion S. Barry, Jr.

When Congress alters the federal balance, it must carefully consider the
consequences of doing so.-Anthony Kennedy

Whether ours shall continue to be a government of laws and not of men is
now for Congress and ultimately the American people to decide.-Archibald
Cox

You know, I think many people have the mistaken impression that Congress
regulates Wall Street. In truth that's not the case. The real truth is
that Wall Street regulates the Congress.-Bernie Sanders