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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Overcome - Guest Post by My Husband, Steve

"Overcome" by Live

To say anything now, personally as a man born and raised in NYC, almost feels like a sacrilege…. however, I think this song, at this time in my life has taken over all of my senses…

I am overcome with the memories of my life; including the memories of a day 10 years ago and all the fears I had… Now, as a man trying to create a new life, both literally and figuratively in one of the most uncertain times in my life, I cannot help but share my thoughts feelings and experiences:

“Overcome” is the understatement of the millennium in my eyes…

For those of you who have read my first guest blog post (MY 1ST GUEST POST) on my wife’s site, you may have picked up that I am a sap, a sucker of emotion.. It guides me, pushes me, and betters me… Emotion has driven me to my greatest failures but my even greater successes…

At this very moment, I sit and watch football. Unfortunately as I turn the channel off the game, I am also encountering so many 9/11 tributes, stories and chronologies…. EMOTION OVERCOMES ME NOW!!

I am overcome with emotion for all the people that I have come in contact with, and this is my way of thanking them, of being a part of their lives, and them as part of mine….

I wrote most of this on September 8, 2011, 3 days before the SECOND most cataclysmic (WOW, I spelled that correctly on my first try) event in my life… “What did you do on September 8, 2001?” is NOT what you are asking yourself now or at any part of your life… I knew I needed to write this in pieces though, because of how strong of an emotion I had for this day and our situation and how they are coming together as one because of this song.

On September 11, 2001 however, at about 8:30am I asked myself, “Will I be late to work because of traffic?” and “Was that a stupid pilot that Howard Stern was talking about?”….

Was I ever wrong…

Cell phones are all but a given in 2011… Remember 2001??? I had a Motorola Star-tac… No pictures, barely any texts if any at all, reception on pace with what we now know as “1G”…. if we are lucky….

My mother and Father (Stepfather for continuity, but he is my father now) worked in Downtown NYC at the time, their subway station was “Canal St” when the next is “Chambers/WTC”. I knew that every morning they were at WTC 1 getting breakfast and eating it at the fountain outside of 1 and 2…

They “Could” be in full uniform any given day for the New York City Corrections Department and be required to be at “ground zero” to assist or worse, as a statistic… That morning, as most, I did not clear the agenda or orders with them as I assumed it would be “status quo”….

I could not, for the life of me get in touch with them for 3 days…………….

To say it was the worst 3 days of my life…………… even more than my father, because I at least knew what happened……. Is an understatement……

Regardless of my Father’s death, I was OVERCOME with emotion in that, and this, very moment remembering these thoughts…

“Where are my PARENTS! Please help me where are they???” I knew every phone # to call… I knew every person… I had the COMMISSIONER of NYC’s CORRECTION DEPARTMENTS phone #…. And I could not get through to anyone….

I was so scared, so alone, so overcome….

“What once seemed unthinkable, has happened…. On a bright summer morning, under a clear and cloudless sky… Terror Struck… to grasp the enormity of it, is almost too much for the heart to bear.. September 11, 2001, it is a date that will be etched in history, engraved in stone, and in our memories… The day of the attack on America…” – Ted Koppel

That day, and the days to come, when I could not get in touch with a single person, I felt I lost all…. I had felt overcome…

Up until that day, there had only 1 time in my life I had felt overcome….

The news of “My Father”…

Now today…. I have my wife, Maria, and the lack of the family I wish to have which is making me feel, overcome. I have been trying to be so strong for so long for both she and I, trying not to show any cracks or kinks in the armor, to be the rock we both need, that I lost my way…

I lost the sense of feeling that made me different than other males, those that were too tough or too proud to show any sort of weakness, all the while I showed it and it was one of my greatest strengths. Today, 9/11/11 reminded me of who I am and what I am about.

To those who have come to know my wife, I thank you for all of your strength and support… She has been OVERCOME in all of our experiences.

She is why I am stronger than I have ever been before…

I cannot imagine the number of women who have connected with her and all of the bonds that you have formed with her over the last couple of months, and thank you all for it..

While I know she has supported so many of you, either directly or indirectly, we have both been OVERCOME by everything we have shared with you.

I could not imagine that this time in our history, nevertheless in my life, be it 10 years ago when I was hoping for the safe keeping of my friends and family of some time, that now, I would be asking all of you to pray for the well being of my wife and I while we are overcome by our most personal experiences now.

10 years ago today is something I hope to share with my child 10 years from now, and I'm looking forward to the challenge, as all my friends now are trying to explain what is happening and why… I hope and pray that Maria and I have that ability to be the parents we both want to be….

Maria and I

I hope and pray for the people who are reading this (as well as those that are not)

My Father...My Hometown...Who I am...All I Have...
Tonight, I Remember...

Great post. I will never forget the night after waking up to the news (on the 12th Western Australian time). I had a late class at university and everyone was just walking around in a daze, not knowing what to say to each other.

This post was one of the most powerful things I've read in a long time.

Thanks, Steve for sharing your story and the pictures. Very, very touching. Know that YOU are an awesome individual and a ROCK for your wife. The way she writes about you -- you guys must be perfect for one another. :)

I will of course say another prayer for the both of you - and continue to do so! I just KNOW it in my bones that this is something that is meant to happen for you two. I know I've never met you two, but I feel like I know you through all of Maria's posts. I will be glad to offer up my support and prayers for you two, knowing that Maria has done the same for me dozens of times. :)

Again, thank you for sharing your story, Steve. You two are AWESOME - bless the both of you! :)

Wow! What an awesome post Steve. Congratulations on being guest host for your wife Maria! Maria must be so proud! You are both very good writers. My thoughts and prayers are with you both and I wish you and Maria all the very best. Judy

Steve, who knew that their are 2 writers in your family. Maria is such a precious, wonderful child of God. I pray for both of you in your quest to become parents. The Lord sees you and knows your hearts.I'm so sorry for the fear and terror you went through 10 years ago. I'm sorry that you couldn't get a hold of anyone. I hope that the terror has subsided and you have found the peace that passes all understanding. He holds you and Maria in the palm of His hand and pours out His love over both of you.Thank you for sharing on Maria's blog!Blessings,~Erin

Hey Steve, It's always so interesting to hear other counts of 9/11. Especially, people who were native to the area. It's hard not to remember exactly where you were, or what you were doing on that day. I was still working at B.C. at that time, and just remember how scary it was. Some of us were literally on the phone with people in WTC 1&2 and were talking to people who are now deceased. You build relationships with people you work with, and you never expect such a tragedy.We love you and Maria so much, and know that these past two years have been nothing short of overcoming your emotions, and being overcome by them. Thanks for both of you being so amazing to us, and for being so wonderful to all of your friends. ~ Kelly

I know i'm suppose to acknowledge 9/11 first but I must tell you what I recognize here first is the obvious love the two of you have for one another. It's a beautiful day when you can marry your best friend and walk through the journey of life together. Beautiful.

I too recall the day, the moment, the instant my breath had been taken away on the tv screen. I WILL... remain grateful everyday for the chance to live in HIS grace once again. I WILL... pray the souls lost have eternal life in the house of God. Hugs and thank you for sharing.Tammy

Dearest Steve, thank you so much for this post. It was really beautiful. You seem like such a good, sweet man. I'm certain Maria feels blessed to have you in her life. You're blessed to have each other!! You are good people and you deserve good things. I pray that the Lord will bless you with the desires of your heart. Gosh, I want so badly for that girl, Maria, to have a baby. I find myself frequently praying for her, though we've never met. Isn't that amazing?! To totally and completely adore and admire someone you've never met in person?! I think, perhaps, she and I are kindred spirits!! She has been so wonderful to me. Take care of each other, Steve, and know that a mama in Utah is thinking of you both today.

Beautifully written, Steve. I have told Maria before that I can tell what great parents you two will be. Don't worry about kinks in the armor or cracks. God will offer you all the strength you both need. Just ask. As always, you two are in my prayers!

This is such a beautiful post! Both you and Maria are truly amazing. I'm praying for both of you. I know you will have the chance to be a parent someday (I hope soon), and I know you'll do such a great job!

Second off... you and Maria are one of the most amazing people I've ever.. well I cant say MET.. cuz I haven't really met yall.. hmmm.. oh hell.. you know what I mean. Yall are simply an adorable, inspirational duo. The way she smiles with you in pics and the way she expresses herself about you... just amazes me. Since Ive come across her blog, there isn't a day that passes that i don't ask God to watch over yall and to give you both great news soon. I know it's taking a while but it will happen. I can feel it! And that day is going to be the best day ever for you both and we ALLLLL know how amazing you both will be as parents. I love Maria as a sister bear that she is and for all her kind words. You both are truly lucky to have eachother. Loved your post Steve. Thanks for sharing! =)

Thank u all for ur kind words. Its been tough on both of us, but fortunately i believe we are very strong people, and can help each other through. The only picture I wish I had was that of my parents in their uniforms as I am very proud of their civil service careers. Unfortunately, I do not have one of either as such.

Hi All! My name is Maria. I'm 33 years old and live in Pennsylvania with my husband and daughter, Piper. I've found throughout the years that life is truly unpredictable...you've got to roll with the punches, live your life and love your life no matter what tries to stand in your way. I'm learning new lessons every day and am thankful for all I have been given.
Email @ www.muffinmarino918@gmail.com