Counseling Services in Colorado Springs, CO

Do you expect perfection from yourself? If somebody suggests that you are a perfectionist, do you think, “No way, perfectionists perfect themselves and everything they do, I am overwhelmed by the flaws in everything I do, try, and am.” If you recognize that logic, you might well be a perfectionist. Do you escape the inner critic by zoning out on TV/ internet, or by drinking / medicating / eating? Or maybe you stay very busy and try to “outrun” the critic. The busyness, the wine, the TV, they all deplete not only your time and sometimes your health, but they drain you of your “mojo.” It is rare to have enough mental, emotional, and spiritual energy to lead a full, authentic life while also ensuring that everyone approves of us, including that constant critic that has taken up residence in your head.

I Used To Think This Was the Only Way to Be, But I'm Not So Sure Anymore.

You’ve arrived in the second half of your life and it looks enviable from the outside, and it is. You feel blessed and fortunate, so much so, that you feel ashamed to admit that you are unhappy. That inner critic may have actually been really effective at helping you strive and achieve up until now. But now you long to feel fully present, at ease, accepted and understood by loved ones. Maybe you have a desire or goal that is emerging, but you aren’t getting any closer to it. That little critic in your head makes all of these hard to achieve. You can’t be at ease and present if you think you should always be doing something different or better. You can’t be accepted and understood by loved ones if you don’t allow yourself to be seen in all of your glorious imperfection. You can’t go after a goal while the fear of failure is more compelling than the fear of a life not fully lived.

Do other people feel this way?

You are in highly esteemed company. This is the course that many gifted, creative, devoted, hard-working, self-sacrificing, wonderful people run. You sprint and over-function until you hit a wall. That wall may feel like anxiety, depression, a sense of numbness or boredom, or like you are out of sync with the world. It may feel like anger, or like harshness to otherness as your inner critic has grown so large that he needs to share “the love” with others, it may undermine your relationships and cause you to turn away and rely on your own resources.

Can I Really Feel and Think Differently? Is That Really Possible?

Yes, and it can happen faster than you might imagine. I can help you to get your arms around what is happening in your heart and in your head. I will work with you in the here and now to help you navigate your way to a place of fullness and to help you discover what brings you joy. I can teach you to tune out that critic. I can help you relegate that voice inside to the “interesting but irrelevant” category, and cultivate the opportunities that arise when perfectionism is recognized as the phantom (dare I say, Phantom Menace), that it is.

When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make. 

— Brené Brown

If you can sit quietly after difficult news; if in financial downturns you remain perfectly calm; if you can see your neighbors travel to fantastic places without a twinge of jealousy; if you can happily eat whatever is put on your plate; you can fall asleep after a day of running around without a drink or a pill; if you can always find contentment just where you are: you are probably a dog. 