Saturday, September 08, 2012

nappy

i have an acquaintance/friend who is mixed with white and black. she's always been one of those really afrocentric people. i mean, she definitely is more in tuned with her black side than the white side. and that's fine. and her hair- oh, it's the typical wavy, beautiful mixed hair. it's not nappy, or kinky like black BLACK people's hair. but yet, she's always on facebook constantly posting stuff about supporting real black women with real/natural hair. or black women with natural hair this, and pro-kinky hair this, pro-naturual nappy that. it bugs me.

she doesn't even know what it's like to have REAL nappy hair. i mean, i get that she's tuned in with black women and obviously wants to be a part of the natural hair "movement", but her hair is not kinky. it's wavy and soft, not too far from the way white people's hair is. so yeah, it gets under my skin that she tries to act like she knows the struggle/scrutiny/criticism other black women (like me) with real kinky hair face on a daily basis.

16 comments:

your friend doesn't have a problem with wavy or kinky hair. you do. you used positive adjectives to describe her hair like "beautiful" and "soft". natural kinky coily hair can be beautiful and soft. she seems comfortable in her own skin, you do not.

"she tries to act like she knows the struggle/scrutiny/criticism other black women (like me) with real kinky hair face on a daily basis. "

I've had locs for 17 years. struggles, scutiny and criticism are a thing of the past. people do not approach a dark skin black women with locs down to the small of her back with b$llsh$t. anti-black self hating Negros whose minds are still on the plantation steer clear of me. I represent someone whose mind left the plantation a long time ago. I'm not loud, aggressive or a neck roller. I simply give off an energy that says "find another plantation dweller to harass.

There is two things I think you should do, one change the topic, there is a lot of thing you cloud talk about that has to do with being black that is not about hair. Two look at in a different way,it's cool that she is trying to be a black woman.

Wow. You sound extremely ignorant. I see that you say you have two daughters, so if your daughters think the same way as your friend, its ok for them to be discriminated against just like you are doing? That's not fair at all. I hate when black people say they have "nappy" hair. WTF is nappy? It's coarse yes, but with regular haircare and maintenance, its beautiful just the same. A little thicker, but still can be nice and soft. Get over yourself.

Please don't become a natural and/or nappy hair(as you said not me) Nazi. FYI: natural and nappy is not 1 in the same. Just because she doesn't empathize with you from personal experience doesn't mean she's not being sincere. Example: You have a self-induced image of her hair being beautiful but that doesn't mean she sees what you see or is pleased with the type of hair that she has. We want people to be understanding and considerate of us and our experiences/struggles, just not TOO MUCH right?! o_O

I wish black women would just support black women. We are not our hair. Why must you box in your friend? She is supportive. More to the point women should be supporting women, black white or indifferent. As opposed to complaining your friend doesn't have a struggle, how lucky are you that you got somebody that got yo' back. You should be proud to have her as a friend.

I understand what you are saying here, however, what about the black women with hair like hers? My sister is a perfect example, we have the same african american parents yet her hair is completely different. Why shouldnt she have some natural hair supporters how there with texture like hers? Black women do not only have "nappy" or kinky hair. As Im sure you know. Imagine the struggles she went through as a biracial women identifying mostly with her black side and not having any mentors/hair role models/?

I'm mixed and have heard many of the same comments from black women with "nappy" hair? Honestly, it's always bothered me because it seemed like my hair or my skin was a litmus test for how black I could be. I proudly wear my hair natural and I don't feel that we as black women ought to be defined by our hair or skin.

I completely understand what you are trying to say. It is like a skinny person around people who are on diets talking about how hard it is to not eat. You just want to say, "yeah that's great, but let me tell you how it really feels." You are not alone in your opinions. They are just thoughts about topics and mean you beat up your friend.

I think you harbor some jealousy toward your "friend" What she does should no bother you. Judging by the first opening of your statement as far as black black hair is just moronic and immature. She identifies herself more with her black heritage so. I'm sure if she was going around stating more about her white heritage you would have a problem with that to. Hair doesn't define a person, their integrity does and you seem not to have any.

I love ya' ! I know this is a repost, but I would love to for you to become a member of our group! We need more STRONG black sisters! Dear An. I read your blog, I thought that it was phenomenal, you are talented. I own a upcoming Non Profit and I thought that you might blend in well with our community. We need more strong women. Please join our community and follow our blog, http://sontia.blogspot.com/ (please copy and paste if you have too. I love your blog, and have already followed you! Don't stop blogging.

I think honestly most people are fronting on this whole natural tip anyway.. I mean If you hair is always braided up, weaved up, bantu knotted up or whatever.. are you really really natural???? HMMMMMM and yea... that whole curly fro thing is extra trendy.... its the reason I recently relaxed my hair after a few years of so called natural hair...... #OverIt

Email me at:

Who is

The brutally honest thoughts and musings of a thirty-something, middle class black girl's experiences as a mother to two girls and one boy, interacially married to an awesome white guy in [a very white] Portland, Oregon.
Topics that I blog about are likely thought or ideas that are not so easy to talk about openly, things I'd only tell a close friend.
Raised in Portland, the youngest of 5 siblings-with FOUR older brothers-I want to write about race relations and perception from my perspective.
AND I DON'T HAVE TO BE OBJECTIVE.
---------
[this blog and writer is not associated with any other "thatblackgirl" (or similar) domains, blogs or screen names]