Controlled Access Is Better Than Censorship for Books in Schools

In this argumentative essay, a student explains why works such as books and periodicals that are deemed obscene should not be censored in schools. The student then goes on to discuss the benefits of controlled access to such material.

"You make a fair argument for controlled access to material deemed obscene as opposed to the blanket censorship of such material. However, your introduction lacks a thesis statement that shares your opinion on censorship. Thus, your essay develops in such a way that the introduction doesn’t connect well with your body paragraphs. In terms of writing convention errors, review is needed to ensure that opening quotation marks are paired with closing quotation marks. In addition, consistently formatting all quotation marks in curly style would give your work more polish. There are some typos that need to be addressed, and words such as “obscenity” and “something” should not be capitalized."