August 15, 2016

Picking up on last week, Evan decides to interrupt Amanda's face-suck session with Josh. Josh turns his moaning to the worst looking pizza on earth, while Amanda accepts the faux date card Evan to gently let him down. Knowing he's a dead man walking, Evan makes one last strike before leaving Paradise: warning Amanda that, according to Andi's book, Josh sucks. Josh gets wind of this hot gossip and confronts Evan about besmirching his name, all while continuing to sweat through his linen shirt. Nick gives Amanda sort of a warning but also says there are some discrepancies in the book so maybe hold out hope it's a lie. In case you think there's any suspense about it, Amanda gives Josh her rose. Other obvious roses: Lace to Grant, Izzy to Vinny, and Emily to Jared. Despite having a pretty good kiss with Christian again, Sarah gives her rose to fun Daniel and his mediocre kiss. Carly gives Evan her Friend Zone rose, but he hopes this means their relationship is starting over - OOF. And last rose of the night is from Haley who chooses to give one to Nick Viall instead of her date Brandon because dude couldn't tell her and her twin apart. No bueno. It's not a good night for new guys in Paradise.

Caila, The Bachelorette that never was, arrives in Paradise and catches Jared's eye. Emily the twin is isn't happy that her top guy might like someone else, but politely pretends it's OK to Jared's face when he asks for permission. Emily hopes Jared will return from the date and have no connection with Kayla, but there's nothing more romantic than horseback riding on the beach. Jared returns from his date and breaks things off with Emily, who is heartbroken.

Romance continues to brew between non-entities when Lace/Grant and Izzy/Vinny go on a double date and get all mushy with each other. Thankfully they imbibe enough margaritas and miscellaneous booze to grind all over each other in a foam party at Senor Frogs like it's MTV Spring Break. Highlight of the night: a random girl throws a pitcher of water on Lace and Izzy, which gets said heroic girl bounced from the club. While the real double date happens, Carly and Sarah continue their quest to not be eliminated by keeping the door a crack open of their past Paradise relationship failures. Evan thinks there's a sliver of a chance with Carly so he tries to kiss her and gets rejected. Super drunk Evan passes out in bed but isn't responsive to producers, which requires them to call medical, and honestly it seems like an extreme over reaction. Carly goes back and forth between remembering their horrible kiss and also being attracted to Evan, which results in her making out with Evan.

Also, Amanda and Josh head to the Bone Zone which we know because there's stock footage of a train going through a tunnel. Not a joke.

But the biggest reveal of all: Ashley I is back, ready for cry a lot and attempt to get Jared to pay attention to her.