“Every single thing I work on, you look at issue 3 or 4 and Spider-Man shows up,” Slott says. “Because [expletive] it I’m going to write Spider-Man.”

He’s sure written the [expletive] out of “Amazing,” in a good way. Since he took it over in ’08, Slott’s dished out his own amazing spin on the classic highs and lows of Peter Parker and his masked alter-ego, with just the right contemporary flourish to keep the saga swinging high.

And while Slott swears “Amazing” readers will scream “What the hell did you just do?!” when they reach the end of this year’s No. 700 (yes, it’s a big secret) it’s clear the writer loves Spidey’s amazing legacy far too much to muck it up on his watch.

Slott shared some thoughts on the hero for my story on Spider-Man’s 50th anniversary, which culminates this month with Wednesday’s giant-sized “Amazing Spider-Man” No. 692. Here are some of Slott’s favorite moments from Spidey’s colorful history, in Slott’s own words.

Spider-Man would rather have a banana

“There are these PSAs they did in the ‘80s where you see Spider-Man saving the city, doing something in a cartoon And they give him the key to the city and medal of honor and they’re about to reward him this huge reward money of millions of dollars. And he holds his hand up and goes, ‘I’d rather have a banana.’ (Then he swings off and eats the banana) and it goes ‘Spider-Man loves bananas!’ That’s awesome.”

It is. Check it out:

Chocolate cake and milk in “Spider-Man 2”

“In the second Tobey Maguire movie when the girl across the hall gives him the chocolate cake and milk — that is Spider-Man. You’re at your lowest, everything has gone the wrong way, Doc Ock is out there, you’re failing your courses, Aunt May has lost her faith in you, everything’s going wrong, you don’t have the girl… Life gives you chocolate cake and milk. You have to get back up.”

“In comics, a lot of people will cite one of the greatest Spider-Man moments of all time is in a Steve Ditko/Stan Lee story, where the heavy thing is on him and there’s no way he can lift it. And he just strains and strains and does it for everyone who’s counting on him. And he lifts the heavy thing.

“So many writers have tried to ape that moment and repeat that moment. And it’s been done, it’s there. That’s Spider-Man.

“To me it’s not the moment he shrugs it. It’s the moment right before he shrugs it, which is pure Peter Parker. You read that and you’re like, man.”

“The flip side of (‘Amazing’ No. 33) is the first comic that ever made me cry, which was the death of Captain Stacy.

“(Spider-Man) shoots all these webs and he’s made a special formula that will make it so that Doc Ock when he gets it will lose control of his arms. And he gets Doc Ock with it and the arms go crazy.

“And one of the things the arms do is they knock off this whole chunk of masonry of this building. And it’s falling into this crowd and it’s going to hit a small boy. And Capt. Stacy pushes the boy out of the way and dies. And Spider-Man pulls him out of the rubble and he knows that something that he did led to the death of Capt. Stacy.

“It’s the first time someone close to (Peter) has died in the books since Uncle Ben.”

The Spider-Man theme song from the 1960’s cartoon

“We all know the song. That song was my intro to Spider-Man… Because I was watching that cartoon before I was reading comics. That’s how I met Spider-Man, was in that cartoon. And boy, did that catchy song help. I have every possible cover to that.”