Weaver95:possibility one: Jesus was a trickster god, or maybe a trickster god created christianity as a joke that later got outta hand.

possibility two: 'Jesus' was the user name on the account. the disciples created 'Jesus' as a persona. they made up a costume, perfected the stage act and then swapped identities around whenever they went into a big town. But things get too big too fast, and Judas and Peter figure they gotta find a way to calm that shiat down before they ALL end up getting stoned in the town square. so they get the dumbest, most trusting guy in the pile to assume the persona of Jesus telling him that hey, it's cool...one more big score and they'll all blow town. the fix is in, they'll get him out of it before he goes down for good. He just has to play the role and Pilate will rough him up, let him go. things are going great until the crowd goes nuts. Pilate took the bribe but to keep the crowd from going all stabby he's got no choice - he HAS to sell 'Jesus' down the river. So this guy ends up playing the role of his life: the whole deal....whipping, crucifixion, torture...the whole bit. Judas and Peter are appalled, this wasn't part of the plan but they're in too deep. they hang around for a bit, not knowing what to do next. after 'Jesus' is dead, they figure they'd better go get the body because with all this attention someone might go dig up 'Jesus' and see if descriptions match. if someone figures out 'Jesus' is just an actor playing a role, they'll ALL go down in flames. they get Mary and the girls to make up a crazy story about angels, haul the body out of town in the dead of night, and bury it in an unmarked grave out in the desert. then they spend the next 50 years playing up the cult from behind the scenes, Peter lets it go to his head and Judas gets a serious case of the guilts and either hangs himself or the other disciples off him and make it look like a suicide.

Officer Good Friday: How are we supossed to know this Mr. Jesus fellow?Judas: I'll point him out to you.Friday: That's not good enough. We need something more definite. What if we get the wrong guy?Judas: OK, I'll go up and shake his hand.Friday: That's still not definite enough. What if someone shakes your hand first?Judas: What do you want me to do? Kiss him?

They should teach this to children in Christian/Catholic schools. (I know a Catholic is a Christian, but just try calling a Christian a Catholic and get ready for some snarkyness or a head implosion if the Christian is a fundamentalist)

It makes Jesus like one of the Uncanny X-Men, which makes him cooler to the kiddies, so, totally awesome right?

Except Jesus is like mystique, and she is one of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, so a bad guy, so, it might confuse the children.

She also switched sides and became a good guy, so a lesson about redemption. But then she became a villain again, so not very Jesusy Jesusish Jesus-like. But then she was a good guy again...

But she continued to change sides more often than a professional wrestler, and everyone knows a flip-flopper is bad, (I'm looking at you Mit. Sorry, you're just the recent target bud. Great smile, great teeth, great hair, what went wrong?).

alabasterblack:They should teach this to children in Christian/Catholic schools. (I know a Catholic is a Christian, but just try calling a Christian a Catholic and get ready for some snarkyness or a head implosion if the Christian is a fundamentalist)

It makes Jesus like one of the Uncanny X-Men, which makes him cooler to the kiddies, so, totally awesome right?

Except Jesus is like mystique, and she is one of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, so a bad guy, so, it might confuse the children.

She also switched sides and became a good guy, so a lesson about redemption. But then she became a villain again, so not very Jesusy Jesusish Jesus-like. But then she was a good guy again...

But she continued to change sides more often than a professional wrestler, and everyone knows a flip-flopper is bad, (I'm looking at you Mit. Sorry, you're just the recent target bud. Great smile, great teeth, great hair, what went wrong?).

So Mystique is a super wealthy, Mormon politician, just like Jesus.

We should ask the Pope.

GIS for Jesus Mystique:[i485.photobucket.com image 495x373]

Insinuating that Charles and Erik were lovers?

Interesting twist on the X-Men history. It turns all the X-Men's early battles into a lover's spat.

"Near the beginning of the text, Cyril, or the person writing in his name, claims that a book has been found in Jerusalem showing the writings of the apostles on the life and crucifixion of Jesus. "Listen to me, oh my honored children, and let me tell you something of what we found written in the house of Mary ..." reads part of the text.

Again, it's unlikely that such a book was found in real life. Van den Broek said that a claim like this would have been used by the writer "to enhance the credibility of the peculiar views and uncanonical facts he is about to present by ascribing them to an apostolic source," adding that examples of this plot device can be found "frequently" in Coptic literature."

So the Coptic writers were just like Internet writers of today. They always had some false claim of authority. Interesting.

ZeroCorpse:alabasterblack: They should teach this to children in Christian/Catholic schools. (I know a Catholic is a Christian, but just try calling a Christian a Catholic and get ready for some snarkyness or a head implosion if the Christian is a fundamentalist)

It makes Jesus like one of the Uncanny X-Men, which makes him cooler to the kiddies, so, totally awesome right?

Except Jesus is like mystique, and she is one of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, so a bad guy, so, it might confuse the children.

She also switched sides and became a good guy, so a lesson about redemption. But then she became a villain again, so not very Jesusy Jesusish Jesus-like. But then she was a good guy again...

But she continued to change sides more often than a professional wrestler, and everyone knows a flip-flopper is bad, (I'm looking at you Mit. Sorry, you're just the recent target bud. Great smile, great teeth, great hair, what went wrong?).

So Mystique is a super wealthy, Mormon politician, just like Jesus.

We should ask the Pope.

GIS for Jesus Mystique:[i485.photobucket.com image 495x373]

Insinuating that Charles and Erik were lovers?

Interesting twist on the X-Men history. It turns all the X-Men's early battles into a lover's spat.

You seem to be familiar with X-Men and you've really never come across this kind of thing or heard the jokes before? How long have you been on the internet?

"In the Coptic and Ethiopian churches, Pilate is regarded as a saint,"

He definitely stood up for Jesus a lot more than the apostles did, even in western stories. Pilate argued with the sanhedrin for hours over the charges, and begged the jewish crowd to let jesus go. The apostles all ran away to hide while wetting their panties.

Just a note: I am only referring to what the source material says, NOT vouching for its veracity. But the reason the author of the article (and most Christians) think that the original text puts the crucifixion on friday is because they're morons who can't count to 3. (Actually it's also because they don't understand that Sabbath can mean more than Saturday). But let's say, for the sake of argument, that the Sabbath referred to is Saturday instead of Wednesday night (the start of Passover). Then, crucified on Friday, three days in the earth, 72 hours from friday is not sunday, is it? It's monday. But monday isn't ever referred to as "Sabbath", so how can that be? Well, simple. Wednesday toSaturday is 3 days. As this Egyptian text says, the last supper thingy was on a tuesday, the Passover started on Thursday (so, in those times, after sundown on Wednesday), the crucifixion happened on wednesday (cause they had to bury people before sundown, can't bury people on a Sabbath if you're Jewish) , and 3 days later the tomb was empty.