It's good to be home from the wilds of Iowa and New Hampshire. I expect I'll be grounded for a good while now, because Wednesday's column revealed that all of this campaign coverage is a waste of time. But this isn't entirely a bad thing: One of the Forsythia bushes on my block has begun a premature bloom.

Anyways, I have a column that will be posted soon about Mitt Romney suffering from a Gore problem. Happy to discuss that, Newt's Kamikaze mission, Romney's rich-guy problems, and other things reporters should not tell editors. Fire away.

"Net-net", does Mitt count the number of jobs lost by American small office supply companies pushed out of business by the big box Staples coming to town in his overall "job creation" stats? Does it help the country if Mitt invested in a company which ended up killing the same if not more American jobs than he "created" and that's his main qualification to become President? Or was it just switching out a fewer number of lower paying and lower benefits jobs? Mitt likes to talk about "net, net" so someone should ask him what the actual net, net was for the country. He's not running for chairman of the board of Staples, he is running for President of the United States and our overall employment rate is what matters.

A: Dana Milbank

I think the net-net of Mitt's net-net remark on Monday was that you shouldn't use words like net-net when you are running for president. Of even more concern was his use of the phrase “get a pro forma together.”

I am really disturbed by Mr. Romney's pet treatment history as I am sure other dog lovers are. Isn't it ironic that Mr. Romney's former rival (Ted Kennedy), well known for his love and care of his dogs, can be credited with introducing Bo to the Obama White House? Could Bo possibly draw a great deal of the dog lover vote if Mr. Romney is the nominee?

A: Dana Milbank

But Bo is at the other extreme: He is coddled. When he soiled the carpet on Air Force One, they didn't just spray on a little enzymatic cleaner; they replaced it.

So perhaps this is what the election comes down to: Do Americans believe the government should coddle them? Or do they think individuals should be strapped to the roof and learn to brave the elements?

How would you like to go to a blackjack table in Vegas, buy a bunch of chips of place a bet and then have the casino hand you back the cash you paid for the chips but allow you to keep them on the table and keep the winnings if you win? Welcome to Bain Cap/private equity and forcing companies to add even more debt then you added when you invested to pay Bain Cap a dividend that pays them back what they invested but allows them to keep their "chips on the table"/equity stake. Great work if you can get it. Don't ask about getting a lower capital gains tax rate on other peoples' capital...

A: Dana Milbank

One of my colleagues likened Bain to the scene in Goodfellas where they take over a restaurant, sell off all the liquor and burn the place down.

Dana: Al Gore was known to be quite an amusing guy in private and in on on one situations with people. Yet when he got in front of large groups, he was like your vice principal in junior.high school. You've observed Mitt Romney up close. Do you think he has a loose, funny side to his persona when he's not before large audiences, or is that too much to hope for.

A: Dana Milbank

We all thought it was funny in Iowa when Mitt described Ann as the "Mitt stabilizer," which sounds as if it is the very definition of built-in redundancy. My best information is that he maintains a sort of fifth-grade humor level in private (not that there's anythign wrong with it).

We have a few questions about your campaign coverage trip expenses. It would seem that the coverage did not qualify as actual business/journalism. You will have to reimburse the Post for your expenses until you can justify going out on the road again to cover the campaign.

A: Dana Milbank

That's okay. By the time I do my expenses it's too late to get reimbursed anyway.

Matter-o-fact I do have a New Hampshire pancake report for you. The Red Arrow Diner in Manchester had some pretty good ones, but the best were at the Bedford Village Inn. In related news, I cannot recommend the Texas Toast sandwiches from Dunkin Donuts.

It seems minor, but I could see some Democratic PACs running ads where you've got some poor dog strapped to the top of a car and the tagline, "This is how Mitt Romney treats his pets. How do you think he'll treat you?"

A: Dana Milbank

Or, they could have a surprise ending, and the guy who got lost his job because of Bain's takeover would come out of the kennel instead of the dog.

Can this election cycle become any stranger? So far, this has been the longest and strangest election cycle that I have experienced so far (I have been voting for 20 years only, so it certainly could become weirder, but I certainly hope not). Do you think that any other candidate than Romney actually has a chance of becoming the nominee, now that he has won both Iowa (barely) and New Hampshire? Thanks for considering the above, and I do greatly enjoy your articles, though I tend to be somewhat conservative (I used to consider myself a moderate entirely, but the moderate section of the voting populace seems to have disappeared in the past few years).

A: Dana Milbank

Glad to have a conservative, or lapsed moderate, on board. I have no doubt that Romney will be the nominee (which is why you should immediately go and bet all your money on somebody else). This cycle has been very strange, but not long. Sadly, my hopes have been dashed for a fight lasting into March for the Republican nomination.

Ironically on the subject of IQ, I believe it's a blind squirrel not pig that finds the nut/acorn. A double irony is that is what Romney claims he hunted for his NRA check the box, "I'm a hunter too" experience one time as a teenager. He was also forced to walk in the woods with a gun again while drumming up campaign money with fat cat Republicans last time he ran for office. I think it is one of those hunting lodges where they gather/trap the animals to make them easy to shoot at close range so these guys don't have a heart attack, you know, actually hunting...

A: Dana Milbank

Well, if it's a blind pig finding a truffle, Rick Perry will shoot it. If it's a blind varmint/squirrel finding an acorn, Romney will shoot it. Hope that clarifies things.

That's my only question. Well, that, and where do they buy them? Or do they just look stupid?

A: Dana Milbank

Was just discussing this very point. Romney's jeans have actually been described as "skinny jeans," but they aren't all that tight. Santorum, like Obama, wears "mom jeans." I'm not entirely clear on what "dad jeans" are. I am a dad and I favor straight-leg Levis.

Dana Milbank reviews the political theater of the nation's capital in his editorial-page column. His most recent book is "
Tears of a Clown: Glenn Beck and the Tea Bagging of America;" his other books are "Homo Politicus" (Doubleday, 2008) and "Smashmouth" (Basic Books, 2001). Milbank joined The Post as a political reporter in 2000 and wrote the "Washington Sketch" column for nearly six years. He lives in Washington with his wife and daughter. 
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