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Shitty Beer Art Volume 2

Again, no criticisms are necessarily meant of the beer or the brewers–just of the art.

Destihl’s Road Block

Destihl’s actual brewery has been put together with all the care and charm of a Wix website , so it’s no surprise that this logo is just a collection of clip art that got thrown thoughtlessly into a single frame. I especially like how they put a little “TM” after “Road Block,” like some other enterprising brewer will become so enamored with the name that’d they steal it right out from under Destihl. But, oh, oh no–no sir, the folks at Destihl are just a little too smart for that, they put a TM next to the name so as to prevent such theft from occurring.

Oskar’s Mama’s Little Yella Pils

I-is this is Ritalin reference? Cus that’s cool. Regardless, we love Oskar, but they need to stop trying to convince mid 90s preteens that their beers are especially edgy. Nintendo’s “Play it Loud” campaign was like 18 years ago, guys. There’s no longer any need to make it look like your font is ripping out of your can.

Shakopee Town Brewery

Shakopee Town is a magical place where everyone looks like money and only one dude knows how to use–and abuse–Photoshop gradients. Also, one of the fonts totally looks like it’s from the cover of a book of Native American poetry, and that signals purity.

Third Base Brewery

MY FUCKING EYES. Why the drop shadow? Why the font from the Dismemberment Plan’s “Change” album? Why the fucking yellow? Their website is a terrifying maze of comic sans and times new roman, the sort of grim aesthetic that plays through the head of a man who’s spent the last 4 days chained to a radiator.