For them. For the one they ever were.

My true story:
I loved them. I was their good captain and their funny friend, and their sweet sister. We were really one team. We played together for 2 years. At the end of the year we all had to fill in a paper, about your next year. Everyone filled in : we want to stay together. But one day before the summer holiday, one girl got a call. If she wanted to go one team higher. She said no, cause she wanted to stay together, and because she didn't know the people in that team. But that team needed one extra player. So one of us needed to go to that team, Nobody wanted to go, so the caller would choose a random name. But that girl really didn't want. So me as a captain said: I'll go. That was a hard desicion, but I made it, for my team, for her.
At the beginning of the new season, they trained on the field next to mem so I cycled forth and back with my old cyclesquad. Every week when my old team saw me, they screamed my name and came to hug me. My new team was nice to me, so everything was not that bad. But after a couple weeks, they didn't hug me anymore, they didn't even talk to me anymore, they just ignored me. And if they said something it was stuff like
Hey you are ugly
Hey you are fat
BWeh I thought you were gone but I still have to see you everytime.
What the fuck are you doing here you don't belong here.
We're happy that you're gone and not someone else.
They posted pictures on social media without me and said, Best team EVER! Love you!!!

It made me feel sad, alone and ugly. I also started to believed it. I missed them, I still do. I miss the old them, when they looked against me and not looked down at me.
One day my new team and I played a game against my old team without me. At one point, a girl from my old team could no longer take part of it cause she fell, so I played in their team in her place. My team had one player more so it was right. They all started to say the things I just told you they say. At the end they said I was too bad for them and that I've always been and that their new captain a much better one is than I was.
That day lay in tears in bed all night. I always was a strong girl, I was the one who cried last if she had pain or she was sad, I never showed it when I was sad. I didn't have to cause I was always happy. Even the girls on school started to look for me during the breaks, and say stupid things to me. My new team thought I chose my old team above them. So they still were nice, but they saw me in a different light. I came home from school or training crying many more times. I became quiter. I didn't had that flame in my eyes anymore. As soon as I was alone, I started to feel sad and cried a lot, had trouble sleeping and to concentrate. People asked me many times if something was wrong. I always smiled and said no. I am so tired of fake smiles. And fake friends. And fake no's.

When I'm sad, I call it black. I get black more and more. I used to hate being alone, listen to happy music, laugh to everyone and everything. I now love being alone, listen to sad music, just sitting on the floor, staring to nothing.

Comments

Its really sad to hear this.... I mean I also am suffering from the same situation the exact replica of yours... maybe we can share our feelings to each other can we be friends or best friends... email me at this...
---> Smithirapara@ymail .com
Yours lovingly
though I may be a stranger to you but I can understand others feelings in a much better way than adults do... and I still have no one to share my feelings...

Emily says: 02 Feb, 2017 02:34 AM

SAD

anthrakshitha says: 05 Feb, 2017 08:03 AM

this story had made tears in my eyes.
anyways my friends are not like that, they really love me and i too.
i am very gifted to have such precious and caring friends
i love only my friends who gave me happiest as well as saddest moment and shared their sorrow with me.

lucy shepard says: 09 Feb, 2017 11:02 PM

i feel sad.

Lia says: 19 Feb, 2017 02:13 AM

I sometimes wonder what people do to deserve stuff like this. I couldn't stop crying.

lina says: 22 Feb, 2017 12:50 PM

understand how you feel but you should forget them and make new friends new memories beacause it will only hurt u and make u sad friendship doesn t exist believe me be strong make a new life with new people

Katarina Holden says: 26 Feb, 2017 01:26 AM

I feel the exact same way, my friends at school think that I'm the most positive person they know, I know that I'm not. I can't be happy, it's almost as though my body doesn't want me to be happy. I sometimes just sit at the back of the class, alone, the room crowded. I don't know how else to express my feelings.

Lupita says: 01 Mar, 2017 04:13 PM

Wow that is really sad . My friends make me feel like they are better without me and I really don't like being alone sometimes I even sit with other but that won't. This makes me feel lonely and sad to be in this world is hate life because of this.

Elucxus says: 15 Mar, 2017 03:09 AM

I hope you feeling better now.I been through the same thing.im sorry you went through that.I hope you have
Better days.

Jennie says: 23 Jun, 2017 08:45 AM

One day, your the bestest of friends. The next, your nobody to them. All that time gone to waste. And it hurts because you never thought it could happen to you.

yardoo says: 07 Aug, 2017 06:50 PM

life is not fair just to everybody, and you're one of those exceptions.
there are all kinds of people out there with different expectations from others. you are simply a kind and heartful person who tempts to make everything look good even if it takes you to sacrifice yourself. i used to be exactly like you. i was a happy guy thinking positive all the time but after my love left me for dead i became the guy to love being alone and to listen to heartbreaking music all the time. your friends are not exactly feeling the same way. most of them think about advancing their lives at all costs and are selfish. these are the black hearted section of community. I've been through this stuff many many times and only recently convinced myself that i should stop caring about others because they hardly even think that i exist. here are a couple of good advice from me to you to use in your life: never behave the same to everyone, take your time to know who you're dealing with for at least a month then try to form any kind of relationship with them so until that happens stay in a neutral ignoring style who doesn't care about others.
get used to come into more people like this, and don't get surprised if they did the same again, strenghen your mental power to prevent breakdowns again.
and the last thing: achieving success is the best tool to revenge those who treated you bad as they will temp to envy you afterwards. plus, it will raise your stock and the quality of your life and you may live happily ever after again. Good luck on that

Rachel McConnell says: For anyone reading these comments and anyone who has commented themselves I just want you to know that I am here. I will always be here. If you need someone to talk to friend me on facebook. I'm Rachel McConnell.

For anyone reading these comments and anyone who has commented themselves I just want you to know that I am here. I will always be here. If you need someone to talk to friend me on facebook. I'm Rachel McConnell. I don't want anyone feeling alone, feeling like the world is trying to swallow them whole. I know the pain. The pain of not being able to do anything about where you're at. About feeling lost in a world full of fake idiots that think cutting is a way to look cool. If you truly need someone to talk to please message me. I can't stand the idea that people want to end it all. I used to be that way. My last count of attempted suicides is 21. I hate myself for ever having thought one attempt was a good idea but I'm in a good place now and I want you guys there too.

Leonard Yur says: When I'm down, I listen to music (personally, I like classical music; search "Rach 2" or "Rach symphony 2" or maybe some Chopin nocturnes or something), and it helps me realize that people before me have gone through a lot

When I'm down, I listen to music (personally, I like classical music; search "Rach 2" or "Rach symphony 2" or maybe some Chopin nocturnes or something), and it helps me realize that people before me have gone through a lot of pain and sorrow, but still fight through it and get to live to the fullest. I hope music can soothe your pain, at least a little.