Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Idiotms

There are a number of words and phrases that my friends and/or I have made up over the years that I frequently use and forget aren't actually real. Sometimes I use one of them in front of people I don't really know and they give me quizzical looks. Then, I have to try to explain it to them in a way that doesn't make me sound like a total idiot. Some of these expressions include:

"Queer willies" (noun) -- This is used when you get uncomfortable watching something. For example, I get the queer willies when I watch the show "Glee." You may get the queer willies when you see someone fall in public. It wasn't until fairly recently that I found out "queer willies" wasn't a universal expression. I thought everyone said it. Anyway, I don't know where it came from, but what I do know is that everyone everywhere has at one point had the queer willies. (Note: this expression has absolutely no relation to the LGBT community. I now feel the need to defend myself since someone, who clearly doesn't know me at all, called me a homophobe on Reddit.)

"Preme" (adjective) -- This came from my friend who once accidentally said "preme" instead of "prime" or "premium" (I actually don't really know what she was trying to say) when describing how she felt. Preme generally means "awesome," but it can be used in place of many adjectives. For example, you might say, "Free movie tickets -- preme!" or "That cupcake was preme." It is a kind of word my 9th grade English teacher would call "taboo" in that it is vaguely defined and overused (much like the word "got"). It is also a word she would call "not a real word."

"Shameless lotioning" (noun or verb, colloquial) -- I believe this was developed when I lived in a sorority with roughly 40 other girls and had little privacy. Shameless lotioning is when you can casually lotion your naked body free of judgement. You may do this and then lie naked on your bed for a while (also referred to as "naked bed lying"). This is generally done alone. My sorority sisters may have been heard saying things like, "I wish I had my own room so I could shameless lotion." Or, "Over Christmas break, I shamelessly lotioned all over my house." Recently, I told my friend at the gym that I wanted to use the private dressing room so that I could "shameless lotion." She was confused.

"Babis" (proper noun, see also: "babis") -- This is one of the many names I call Boo. "Babis" was established in 2009 when I still watched the NBA. At that time, I started calling Boo "Big Baby Davis," after Glen Davis, whom I later referred to as "Big Daddy" whenever he came on the TV in Boo's presence. "Big Baby Davis" was then was simplified to "Baby Davis," which transitioned to "Babis Dabis," and then ultimately became "Babis." In addition, "babis" with a lower case B can be used to describe any animal. For example, you may see a cute dog on the street and yell, "Look at that babis!"

As a side note, my iPhone now always auto-corrects babis to have a capital B. RESPECT.

Do you or your friends use any words or phrases that aren't real? If so, please share them with me in the comments.

Editor's note: After writing this, I discovered that Babis is actually a Persian religion also known as Babism. Whatever.