Worried? Don’t be! First of all, this will mostly affect Poors and women, and who cares about them? Nobody, that’s who, otherwise they wouldn’t be Poors. Or women, duh. Also, the Free Market will rescue them anyway (assuming, of course, that global warming doesn’t set all the Bootstraps on fire and cause a global Bootstrap shortage), and even if it doesn’t, there will be a Second Coming and it will all be part of God’s Plan.

And we still haven’t gotten to the BEST PART, which is that an ice-free summer means more oil and more jobs for everyone!

The US Homeland Security Department’s Climate Change Roadmapreleased last year raised similar issues, warning that climate change “could directly affect the Nation’s critical infrastructure”, as well as aggravating “conditions that could enable terrorist activity, violence, and mass migration”.

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over.
@Kris_E_Benson