‘SHARP Program Not Really On List Of Priorities,’ Says Incoming And Outgoing Chief Of Staff Gen. Milley

THE PENTAGON — Newly confirmed U.S. Army Chief of Staff General Mark Milley outlined his vision for the Army’s way forward in a press conference today, his first and last as Chief of Staff.

“We’ve focused a lot on the SHARP program in the last few years, and I’m ready to switch gears back to focusing on fighting and winning America’s wars,” said Milley, 15 minutes before his resignation was announced.

“I’m not saying that preventing sexual harassment and assault in the Army isn’t important, because it is,” said the outgoing chief of staff. “I’m just saying it’s really not that high on my list of priorities. I’m more focused on plans to neutralize threats such as ISIS, having strategies in place for escalating tensions with Russia and North Korea, and preparing the Army for these threats in a challenging environment of increasing fiscal restraints and looming troop cuts.”

“I mean, I don’t think SHARP even makes it into my top ten list for priorities,” remarked Milley to a stunned press gathering. “It might fall somewhere in the teens, perhaps.”

Milley has served as Chief of Staff for less than three weeks, the shortest tenure in history for the Army’s highest position.

“I’d like to thank General Milley for his outstanding service as the 39th Chief of Staff of the Army,” said Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Martin Dempsey in a prepared statement released to the press an hour after Milley’s press conference. “His tenure will be remembered for such notable achievements as his welcome address and his farewell address.”