It’s a couple some odd weeks until Election Day, and I have to admit (which I’ve been called on just recently by a good friend of mine) I don’t exactly get out there and rock the vote as I should. In fact, the last person I voted for president was Ross Perot (he who entertains me won at that time of my life), although I have voted in a bunch of midterm elections, and when there was a ballot question I just need to voice my opinion on. I’m the typical undecided voter, and I will probably cast my ballot based on a decision I make on the way down to the polls. I have my opinions on elections in this country of course. I do think we need a day off to vote, and we need the election to be accurate. I’m pretty sure the first computers were INVENTED to count things, and here we are some 60 years later, and we can browse the internet (watch online porn) … I can blog about shit, and yet we’re still not able to count the votes in an election? That’s just wrong and throws doubt on the entire system. I do think that everyone should only have one vote, and I’m not sure why it’s wrong to ask someone for an ID when they vote when I have to show it twice to get on a plane (no one has ever explained that to me). I think that in large part the reason we can’t count votes with any kind of agreed upon accuracy, is that there are a lot of people who are kind of dumb. I mean you know those people who still write checks at the grocery store, and how pissed off you are that they can’t use the stupid ATM machine? Well my parents are two of them. If you made a voting machine to look like a computer, they wouldn’t go. So computers may not be the answer, unless it as simple and easy.

There are a few issues I’ve heard in this election that get people all fired up, and this weekend I went down to Los Angeles, and I got an earful. First off, I had at least two friends tell me that Sarah Palin does not believe in evolution. I searched the web looking for this quote, and I have yet to find it. Yeah, I’ve read other people saying it, but not her. She also believes in teaching abstinence in schools as part of sexual education … who the fuck is against that? Growing up the ages of AIDS taught me a great deal about the dangers of sex, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with teaching kids that it’s okay not to have sex before they’re ready … but truth be told, it might be a hot button issue, but no one listens to the schools anyways. You are not going to get one child to have sex because of sex education, or one kid not to because of abstinence trainning. So calm the fuck down. Those condoms at the health center (three for free), are thick and feel awful, so hardly anyone picks it up, and putting one on a banana in class? Waste of fruit … we should all take out our penises and do it … Mine’s got a thick head, and it’s hard to get it over it in just the right place because it tends to break on the bottom. Banana’s didn’t teach me anything.

I’ve heard a lot about Obama’s associations with people like the Reverend Wright, or others … and it pisses me off. Obama was a black man trying to get elected in a black community who go to this church. He’s needed to associate himself with these people just to get elected … just to get a fucking chance while at the same time a middle-aged white guy get a shot by growing a gut and drinking cocktails. I will not hold those associations against him when I vote, because they’re dumb. And I urge you not to buy into this whole Catch 22 thing.

But I’m still going to tell you why I think you should vote, but first I’m going to tell you things I don’t give as shit about. You know nothing about what the candidates are going to do when they get into office (I’m convinced they find out about what happened in Roswell, and all the stuff we’re not supposed to know about) so don’t pretend you know the issues and that you’re voting on that. Obama is not going to nationalize health care because health insurance companies are the only stable business left in this country and you’ve got to collect taxes from someone, and McCain isn’t going to find any terrorists cause he knows how because he doesn’t. With all due respect, he crashed his own plane twice. I’m pretty sure he’s not military genius. Don’t think things are going to change, because they’re not. We basically have the same problems we had 30 years ago, they just wear different clothes. Don’t think you’re voting because you think one guy is smarter than the other … remember we thought Kerry was smarter than Bush, but they pretty much got the same grades in college, although Kerry was smart enough to marry into more money. McCain is probably just as smart as Obama, and we’re never going to find out for sure because neither of them are going to take the SAT test again, but then neither would I. Don’t vote for anyone based on their commercials, because they’re stupid, and made by the same people who get you to eat that poison at fast food places, or buy those penis enlargement pills. They’re designed to sell not to educate. Remember that when you’re watching them. Don’t be bullied into voting for anyone. I’ve seen both sides jump down people’s throats every time someone disagrees with them. I want to remind everyone, that Obama and McCain are not USC and UCLA football. They are two men who are taking a lot of time and energy to do what they think is the right thing for a country they obviously love. Disagree with their stands on issues, but don’t attack them … to get to this point in their careers they deserve that, and as an American I would expect it. Obama is not a terrorist, and McCain is not a warmonger. Life just isn’t that simple.

Vote for one reason, and one reason only … voting makes the government legitimate … and the more people vote, the more legitimate that government is. It really works that way. Oil companies, car companies, insurance companies, or banks do not have your best interest at heart, perhaps it’s supposed to be that way. Perhaps the only thing they should worry about is making money … but the government is supposed to be above all that, and if they know they have a mandate from the people to do just that, they will be less prone to support donations but rather support the people who got them in … the people. Right now they are right to assume that the American people do not get them elected … a lot of us don’t vote, and the ones who do are controlled by the thought police of advertising and speech writers who are experts in saying nothing. If they want to continue to be elected they need to help out the people who got them in … wouldn’t it be cool if it were the people for a change? Be informed and go on their websites … Obama’s is www.BarackObama.com, and McCain’s is www.johnmccain.com (you know what I just noticed, Obama has the second placing on goggle when you search John McCain … clever or dick-ish … I kind of think it’s both). Yahoo, who are usually way to the left has written an article that is actually pretty good … it’s about your job prospects after the election under either candidate … check it out by hitting this link …

Go vote, and if you want to make people feel bad about anything, make them feel bad about that, and not whom they’re voting for … trust Democracy … it works if it’s not fucked with.