Iraqis watch television at home, while smoking hubbly-bubbly in Baghdad cafes, while gazing up from plates of lamb and blackened tomatoes over lunch, and on small screens behind the grocery shop cashier.

Controversial Scotland Yard Commander Ali Dizaei - already the subject of a separate misconduct inquiry - had accused Waad Al-Baghdadi of assaulting him with the mouthpiece of a traditional Middle Eastern 'hubbly-bubbly' water pipe.

Naturally we all piled on top almost suffocating him, and then preceded to drink and hubbly-bubbly the evening away with interludes of impromptu group rapping and a (rather drunken) dance off (as nobody was keen to climb the hill with me to follow the awesome tunes emitted from it).