Devastated father whose detective wife, 46, and sons aged 10 and six died in a fire speaks of how he is recovering from his grief after finding love with school friend he reconnected with at his family's funeral

Heather Bickley, 46, and her sons Felix, 10, and Oscar, 6, died in a house fire

The North Wales Police detective and her boys are believed to have tried to flee the fire in Benllech in Anglesey, in 2010, where smoke alarms were not working

John Bickley, now 54, has spoken of his devastation and learning to live again

A grieving father whose wife and two sons were killed in a devastating house fire has spoken of his unimaginable grief - and how he has finally learned to live with his devastating loss.

Heather Bickley, 46, and her boys Felix, 10, and Oscar, 6, were killed when a blaze ripped through their family home in Benllech in Anglesey, north Wales, in 2010.

It is believed Mrs Bickley, a police detective, and her children were overcome by smoke as they tried to flee.

An inquest heard how John Bickley, 54, was out at work at the time and came back to find fire crews battling the blaze the blaze in vain.

A coroner later ruled all three were accidental deaths – adding working smoke alarms may have saved their lives.

A fire investigation determined it was caused by a freezer motor overheating in the utility room and that the home's smoke alarms were not working.

John, a cabinetmaker originally from Prestwich, has told how he struggled to cope with the 'deep black hole' of grief he found himself in.

He said he was often so weighed down by the tragedy he 'could barely breathe'.

John and Heather Bickley on their wedding day in St Lucia. Heather was killed in a house fire aged 46, along with her two sons

Felix, 10, and Oscar, 6, the two sons of Detective Constable Heather Bickley, 46, who all died in a house fire in Anglesey in 2010

He said: 'Heather spent her whole life in public service, first at North Manchester Hospital as a Staff Nurse following which she was a serving police officer in the North Wales Police for 16 years. She was uncomplicated, principled and loving, creating a wonderful family home for us all.

'My wife was truly the rock and driving force behind our family. She adored Christmas which would start the day after her birthday on the 23rd November and wouldn't end until I urged her to take down the decorations as we approached the end of January.

'This week she would have been just fifty-four. As another Christmas approaches her presence is very strong - I can see her crazily filling our home with tinsel and lights and so much love, having the time of her life.'

'Felix was very sporty. He loved swimming, karate, playing football and dreamed of playing for Liverpool. I have wonderful memories of spending time together; sitting at a mountain top cafe drinking his favourite hot chocolate, on a rest from skiing.

'Believing he'd actually flown a space ship to Mars after a ride in Disney World and sitting on my shoulders as we danced at a Florence and The Machine concert, just a few weeks before he died.

'He was so competitive and couldn't bear losing to his younger brother. He had a maturity beyond his years and was such wonderful company when you had him to yourself. We'd talk for hours together.

'Oscar at 6, was still a little boy, who'd not yet lived any sort of life. He was such a sweet natured boy, very happy to sit and play lego for hours, always wanting to please, and he never complained about anything.'

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'He used to call Felix 'seesaw' before he could pronounce his name properly and adored his older brother, always trying to copy him. During the last six months of his life we bought a large trampoline which he absolutely loved to jump around on.

'Every night he'd want me to jump on it with him too. He was so studious and clever.

'One of the best memories I have of my sons is when we would go on any journey and they would sit together at the front of my van.

'They just loved sitting high up as we all sang together at the top of our voices to lots of different music. We'd laugh so much it hurt.'

John now lives in Farnham, Surrey, with his new partner Jill Barnes.

The pair went to school together and reconnected after Jill came to the funeral of John's family.

An author, she has written a memoir 'Cloaked in Death, Wrapped in Love' about the difficulties of forging a relationship in such tragic circumstances.

John said he struggled to believe he would ever be able to cope with the loss – let alone love again.

He said: 'My emotional state after the fire was severely shut down with the trauma.

'I couldn't cope with any contact with anyone other than close friends and family, for fear of breaking down. I was incapable of personal interaction.

Heather Bickley died aged 46 and her death was so painful her husband recalled how he found it 'hard to breathe'

Oscar Bickley was just six years old when he died in a house fire with his brother and their mother

Felix Bickley was just ten-years-old when he died in a house fire alongside his younger brother and their mother in north Wales. The family did not have working smoke alarms fitted - something which still haunts their father who was working at the time of their deaths

'I felt like I was in a deep black hole with no emotional strength to get out of it.

'I would run daily in an effort to keep moving and to exhaust myself in the hope I would sleep at night and be able to remove myself from the reality of my life. I had to keep moving because to sit still would risk being smothered by their deaths. I could barely breathe sometimes.

'At night time I would curl up in the foetal position violently shaking as the reality of my life descended.

'Jill was someone who wasn't afraid to ask probing questions and listen to uncomfortable answers.

'She was a distant friend who didn't know my family, so it was easier to talk to her than people close to me who grief-stricken themselves and coming to terms with what had happened.

'We were very good friends at school and for a few years after, so it felt comfy being in her company. I could just be myself. A relationship with Jill or anyone else was a million miles from my mind.'

'The relationship was a gradual process which felt very uncomfortable at first with mixed emotions and a lot of guilt.

'I had been with Heather for twenty-three very happy years and so it felt very strange to be with someone else. Jill and I regularly spoke about these feelings. All of life felt strange, not just a new relationship.

'It's like existing in some parallel universe - my wife and sons in one and a strange new world in another. Each day I have to bridge the gap between the two to try and make sense of my life.

John Bickley is now in a relationship with Jill Barnes whom he was able to open up to about his grief

'Jill and I have always taken one day at a time and continue to do so.'

To mark national Electrical Fire Safety Week, John wants all families to learn the lesson that 'smoke alarms save lives'.

'The inquest was brutal. The Coroner made clear that had smoke alarms been in situ my family may have survived,' he said.

'We always think it won't happen to us. We take for granted how precious life is and somehow mistakenly believe that tragedies are suffered by others.

'But one minute my beautiful family were larger than life, full of so much energy, noise, fun, laughter and love and the next they were piles of dust in three plastic brown urns in my living room. The silence was deafening and the pain indescribable.

'I urge every reader to take the time to ensure you have a smoke alarm installed in your home and to test those already in situ.

'Most fire services offer free home checks and many provide free smoke alarms if needed. It's a matter of minutes to make you and your family safe. Smoke alarms save lives.

Jill Barnes, Mr Bickley's new partner, has written a book about loving after tragedy called 'cloaked in death, wrapped in love'

'I had support from so many family, friends, the community of Benllech and Heather's colleagues in the police.

'Even in the darkest of places light can get through, but only with time and with the right help.

'At first I didn't want counselling but over time realised I couldn't manage my grief alone.

'It was an outlet where I could talk and cry without judgement. Don't hide away from the world and take the goodness that people offer you.

'It made such a difference to my life being surrounded by so many people who cared.

'The gift of their kindness and compassion was something I'll never forget.'

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Devastated father whose detective wife, and sons aged 10 and six died in a fire speaks of his grief