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"It's not all a Hollywood film is it?" : discourses of stay-at-home mothers over thirty : a thesis presented in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Masters of Arts in Psychology at Massey University, Manawatu, New Zealand

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Abstract

Research has remained limited on the lives of women over thirty who decide to stay-at-home upon
having children. The present research sought to examine the discourses and subject positions
available to partnered stay-at-home mothers over thirty, and the opportunities and constraints
these positions offer. Following ethical approval, ten partnered stay-at-home mothers over thirty
took part in a semi-structured, in-depth interview. The interviews were audio taped, transcribed and
analysed using a Foucauldian discourse analytic approach. In particular, the discourses, subject
positions and discursive resources these mothers use to construct their experiences were identified.
This study found a strong adherence to a ‘good mother’ discourse, which was comprised of four
underlying discourses. The first discourse, the ‘relational mother’, emphasises the relational aspect
of mothering and this discourse was co-articulated with the intensive mother discourse, requiring
mothers to spend large amounts of time with their children. A third discourse, the ‘selfless mother’,
requires women to sacrifice career, time and energy to provide for their children. Finally, mothers
drew on a ‘best caregiver’ discourse, which positioned them as solely responsible for the expert care
for their child. At times, some participants resisted the good mother discourse, and instead drew on
a ‘good enough mother’ discourse, which constructed mothering as a complex and unique learning
process. Stay-at-home mothers and their partners also negotiated multiple and contradictory
constructions of the working mother, which positioned them in various ways. The primary working
mother discourse constructed working mothers as financially contributing to the family unit and
providing women with a fulfilling career. This positioned stay-at-home mothers as financially
dependent, and outsiders from the paid workforce. In their talk about being older mothers’,
participants discussed preparing for being a ‘good mother’. Their time prior to children was
constructed in positive ways, making the discursive transition to being a ‘good mother’ challenging.
Future research into the way in which mothers over the age of thirty discursively negotiate the
transition to motherhood, and how families with young children make sense of both financial and
domestic responsibilities would benefit both working and stay-at-home mothers.