Balancing risks ..... managing change .....

Account Closed

Following recent OT assessment it was agreed that mum should have a Yale lock fitted to her main entrance door. Aside from concerns about whether she remembered to lock her door at night, I reported the increasing frequency of my arriving at various times during the day to find her fast asleep - door unlocked and anyone able to wander in ...... (even if she wasn't asleep she is one frail and vulnerable lady).

I confess I was jittery about how she might manage a change (never had a Yale lock in 40+years) but accepted the risk of her locking herself out occassionally was nothing compared to leaving herself so exposed to potential intruders .......

I was not prepared for the effect it had today.

It was so painfully obvious that such a simple mechanism and / or a simple change completely flustered her. I demonstrated the lock several times before going off to run errands - primarily getting 'spares' cut for neighbours. I could see she wasn't happy - and when she announced - "Well, I'm not sure - I think I'll just leave the door open all the time" didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead of minimizing risk had I actually increased it?

Returned, armed with bright ribbon to make a 'necklace' for her new key, laminated pictures and notes to stick around the door (as suggested by OT) to find her pacing up and down hysterically, believing herself to be imprisoned. In floods of tears she told me how she had even tried to get out of the rear door (seldom used) but couldn't remember where the keys were for the security locks on that one .....

I have left her calm - after several cups of tea and 'practice runs' .... (and she likes the colour of the ribbon! ) ... rung ahead to buddy who will pick her up tomorrow for daycare, spoken to OT who is going to visit and help 'promote' her new 'gadget' but I am left with a horrible feeling ......

In trying to promote her physical safety in independent living - I feel I have reinforced the message that she is not safe - cannot be trusted to remember to lock her door .... made her feel 'stupid' (she used that word herself) because she cannot manage a simple new task .......

Registered User

its a shame that OT could of not got you technical assistant that can let someone know if front door is open for to long

or they should invent a door that closes on its own if left open for longer the 5 min .

you do have hope as when we move into our new house , we have a wried lock on front door that has a handle to push down to open also has a lock that has to be turn around loads of time from the in side with hand to open front door to go out when lock from the out side with key , thought mum would never get the hang of it in how to open it , well I was wrong she learn to open it all right .......... but just forgets to close it .

Registered User

I agree with Kate. You have definitely done the right thing, but I know how frustrating it is when your carefully laid plans seem to crash and burn in front of you. I had a similar 'challenge' with my mum's telephone. She still doesn't get it and yet other things seem to sink in. I hope your mum eventually masters it. With the reiteration from the others, she might start to feel more comfortable ... and look on the 'bright' side - if she locks herself out at least the neighbours will have keys!

Account Closed

Delighted to report that this morning when I rang mum to check she was all ready to be picked up for daycare before I set off for work (and make sure she had her key!), mum proudly announced. "I've already got my necklace on!!!!"

20p worth of ribbon from the local market looks like best buy in years!!!!!!

Buddy has since reinforced what a good idea having this lock is AND practised more with mum this afternoon - one lady moving up the 'Christmas list' rapidly!!!!!

Love Karen, x

(PS: Sue - I find to helpful to lock doors BEFORE I start on the Chardonnay! )

Registered User

Hello Karen,
Safety is a priority these days I can remember when no one seemed to lock or shut for that matter doors or windows, unless the weather was bad.
Times certainly change, I am glad that your mum seems to be grasping the new lock. You are lucky to have such caring neighbours. Hope all continues to go well. Regards Taffy.

Registered User

hi karen
sorry if this a bit long winded,but don't your local ss help with door keys?
what i mean at home we have a door safe & the carers know the number so can come in when when they need to could that help you?