Other kids hitting

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elroberts413 wrote:

Social question: how do you handle it when another kid hits yours in places like playgrounds? I'm not talking a small toddler that doesn't know better, or an accident, I'm talking about a 5-7 year old that straight up punches a 3 year old in the face because he wants to get to the slide faster. This happened to us today, and the other kid's dad ripped him a new one, and Caleb came straight to me instead of hitting back or something (he's got a slight bruise below his eye but other than that is fine). I'm glad the other dad said something and all, but do I acknowledge the parent? I didn't glare at him or anything, but I didn't say anything either. I don't want to be like "Oh it's ok" because clearly it's not, but what do I say, if anything?

We had a scenario where an older boy stepped on my guy after he tripped on the playground (I think I posted on here a while back about it) only the mom didn't acknowledge that her kid did anything and then said "that's how boys play" and laughed it off... in your case I probably wouldn't have said anything either because the dad was clearly aware and probably mortified that his son did what he did.

I think if the kid apologized then I would acknowledge the apology and prompt my LO to do the same. I'm not a big on confrontation myself so if the parent didn't do anything I'm not sure I would say anything to the parent but I would encourage my LO to voice her feelings to the child. I was a big tattle tell as a kid so I'm working hard to have my daughter fix her own social problems by talking it out if it's appropriate or find a different activity if that's a better choice.

Since my son and I visit park regularly, this scenario always happen, lots of older kids tend to be aggressive towards my son and he always ends up running to me. Two things I see: if parents are disciplining I see how and if they make the kid say sorry I move on. If parents are present and don't care, I take my kid to the other kids and tell them they have to play nice and you can't hit my son and you have to apologize. If parents are not around too I do the same and once they are available, I let them know what happened.

Once my son's toy was snatched and the other kid was not ready to give it back and started crying nonstop, the response from his mother really shocked me. She said I'll bring another car tomorrow for your son! I put my foot down and said no we need that toy right now. She snatched from her son's hands and threw it on the sand and walked away. I am scared how the adults behave than other aggressive children towards us!

We don't do park outings often, but in the situation you describe, I would thank the other parent for correcting their child. You're correct that it's no Okay, but I think we all like to hear when we've done something right. Did the kid mess up - yup, but the Dad stepped in as you would expect. The only way that kid is going to learn better is for the parents to correct them.

If a parent wasn't around or reacting, I'd correct their child myself as a pp suggested. Sometimes a comment from a stranger can stick with a kid and help shape them so I'm not afraid to interact with others' children. I do make a point of not touching another child if I don't know them. Verbal interaction, I think most parents can accept from strangers.

My dh does also coach our DD to stand up for herself and if someone hits her to hit back. I'm not in love with his approach, but I don't want her to be bullied like I was in school either. It's a hard line to walk.

If the other parent disciplined his child I think all you can do is talk to your child about what happened. Obviously it's not OK and it was upsetting and scary and your child did the right thing by coming to you and the other child was not acting safely and has to work on that.

There's a little boy in my kids nursery school class who is trouble keeping hands to himself and with other behaviors and it comes up at home and we let the twins tell us about it and how it makes them feel and then we talk about how he's working on being more safe. Sometimes my kids will say things they are working on like not taking each other's toys. I think it's a good learning experience as long as everyone is safe.

I'd definitely be annoyed if someone hit my kid though but there's not much else you can do if the other parent handled it. If t happens again at the same park or the same kid I'd maybe try to go to a different park or stay away from that family or something but sounds like you handled it well.