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Dr Stangelove reference FTW! I kinda feel bad for the cop that had to go take that report, and worse, actually write the report that included such a phrase. And this is pretty disgusting, and for lack a stronger adjective, fucking weird.

This is funny, because at my last job, we spent months working to kick out a repeat pervert who had visibly grapefruit-sized testicles. We finally kicked him out when he got caught masturbating in front of a female employee.