The Friend Who Was Not Noticed

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It’s late evening and I am returning from a meeting. I am little low, a little let down. There are times in life when everything is great, but you still seem to miss some spark.

You call your friend up, rather mechanically, he’s still at work.

“Hey! Why don’t you just come down to the site!” he says, cheerfully.

You drive down to the site. It’s a visual beauty. It’s a dark night, with stars and a barren land before you. Your friend greets you and takes you to see the work. You can’t understand much but you pretend to look intelligent by nodding at the details. And then you both stand at the railing on the construction site and watch the work – in – progress.

Someone brings you both cups of tea, and you’re half way through when he says, “You know what? I feel fortunate to have the opportunity to learn so much. I have given my life to cricket, I have worked in the travel industry and here I am, working on real estate. There’s so much to learn, so much to do in the world; it’s just that sometimes we wrap ourselves in our worries and forget to look ahead. It’s just a matter of time, when you keep walking.”

I smile at him and we stand silent for a few minutes. And I know that, that second is one of those honest moments, when life reflects answers to you.

For a long time, I remained focused on the things ‘that pull at the cords of your heart.’ (Yes, that story, may be another day) but I just wasn’t able to look beyond what held me back. I did work hard; my company did well, new projects we took up blossomed. But, in my heart, I held on to the losses I felt dearly.

And more than the loss, I held on to bitter experiences, painful encounters and harsh realities. So much, that it started to feel like I am a changed person.

I remember this realization once, that holding on to sorrow is also a luxury! 😉 You know… when you spend days hurting, when you waste nights wondering and many tomorrows are lost with blankness… all that is luxury. A luxury that can be injure the richest of all because it can totally blind you to magnificence of life! For instance, the past year has actually been a beautiful journey, some remarkable encounters, some very inspiring conversations, life altering experiences, some warm success stories, and may be, I shall share some of them in the course of time. But the point remains, that I remained utterly selfish, buried in luxury! Yes Selfish because I failed to share any of the life learnings on Half a Cup of Tea.

[I can’t really list out the wonderful people who have taken me through. I know they all know how much they matter.]

And in the course of “this phase” I have realized that it’s easy to question everything in life, but difficult to rise above and beyond. It’s easy to ask “Why did this happen?” or “Why do I face this” or “How will I accomplish?” and it’s harder to take that step forward.

I remember Devdutt Pattanaik had said at the jaipur literature festival, 2013 “Writing comes from living”. For most part inspiration in life, comes from Living. Yes, that’s the most valuable learning I have to take home.

Inspiration comes from living.

When you live, you open the doors to the possibility of being inspired. And by “Live” I do not mean breathe day – in and day – out and go through the rut of life. By live I mean – spending time with your niece and nephew, taking care of your family, spending time ragging your friends and being teased, spending time flirting lightly with everyone; by “living” I mean continuing to be your own guide and mentor – reading, learning something new, spending time with yourself, helping someone else heal ( like the dialogue from Ek Villian! Agar hum kisi ke humdard nahi bante toh dard humse aur hum dard se juda nahi hote.)… probably, even writing a book! 😉 (His upcoming book: Chasing Love… Destination Unknown.)

All of the above have been accomplished by this friend of mine. And so, I decide to write; again. Don’t get me wrong; I wrote many short plays for children, wrote for my clients, wrote for my friends; but what I have not done in the past year, is written for this space called Half a Cup of Tea. And that’s why I chose today to write again. To restart the journey of sharing experience, being a friend, and “stepping out” into space; to open doors to be inspired; to open doors to living.

Today, it’s like (one of my) best friend’s and my only childhood friend’s birthday. He has “survived the test of time” like I say :p through 14 years of unadulterated, uninterrupted friendship.

“Strange, I never noticed that you have been there and seen me through all these years! From heart breaks to professional set backs, you’ve always been there!” I say.

“That does it Apsara!” he replies, “What more does a friend need that to be ‘forgotten’. Fantastic!” he says with mock resentment.

I wonder, have you noticed? That the best relationships in our lives are the ones we seldom notice.

I am instantly reminded of a twitter interaction with Roshan Abas, take a look at the picture below.

The people who love and support you, help you bounce back!

Roshan Abas shared a post asking one to “take the leap of faith” and jump through toughest hurdles.

I had replied in light humor that “I am currently trying to build a ladder to climb back up from the fall.” To which he replied “Why do you look at it as a fall? Look at it as a trampoline of people below who have faith in you.

Have you had a rough patch in life? Then take a look at yourself, above the situations and look at the “trampoline of beautiful people who have faith in you.” And you’ll see that life is bright, after all 🙂

Here’s to a little bit of “self love” and little bit to those friends who have been there.

To the friends who have “stood the test of time”, and who have not been noticed! 😀