The Other Side

Please come and join us on The Other Side. No, it isn’t the Dark Side or even the Far Side. I am talking about fatherhood. I’m a little over a year into this Dad thing and I can only assume that I have it figured out and know it all. What surprises can possibly be in store for me?

I am writing to tell any of you to-be father’s out there that advice will be given whether you want it or not, you will receive a plethora of books and will stay up late Googling. My Wife’s Doctor mentioned that she would write me a prescription to stay off of Google. I found that like most words of wisdom it is worthwhile to listen to them and read them but in the end it all begins to run together. You end up storing tidbits away in the new “Dad” file cabinet within your brain, but until you see your baby (or babies) you don’t really know how to do anything.

Prior to my kids arriving the most interaction I had with babies was holding them for a few minutes and observing them. No matter what people said I could not wrap my brain around how to change a diaper, let alone dealing with a “blow out.” However, one thing I have learned over the past year is that in the pre-Dad stage…

It is okay to be unsure. It is okay to get scared. It is okay to be a little freaked out. It is okay to be nervous. It is okay to feel whatever you are feeling. Once you reach the other side and become a father things begin to fall in place, but you won’t believe me until it happens.

Oh by the way even after you become a Dad it is still okay to be unsure, get scared, get a little freaked, and nervous. If you don’t then you just might not be from around here.

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Check Your Employee Handbook – Dad’s Pregnancy Guide
Talk to your human resources people or thumb through your employee handbook to make sure you understand your company’s rules on paternity leave and time off. You’ll want quite a bit of it, both now (for her practitioner appointments) and later (when the baby arrives). When my wife and I found out that she was pregnant, I was working as an investment banker and pretty much worked every hour that I was awake, including weekends. Even though our employee handbook stated that we could take off several weeks for paternity leave, no one actually did and taking time off for paternaty leave was frowed upon (as crazy as that is), so be mindful of the unspoken rules with respect to this, especially during turbulent economic times such as this. The easiest way to do this is to talk to some other people at work that have taken time off for paternaty leave.