Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Why I Wish I Had a Penis

For as long as I can remember, I have always had this curiosity of what it would be like to have a penis. I remember how, as a child, I would envy boys because they could pee standing up, but I would have to sit down.

On several occasions, I myself, attempted to pee while standing, but my aim wasn’t that great and I was convinced that had I had a penis, the experience would have been much more enjoyable.

To this day, I still often wish that I had a penis, though most of my reason how now changed, but I guess God knew what he was doing when he made me a girl.

I’m almost positive that had I been born a boy, instead of a girl, I would’ve most certainly become a man-whore or even a porn star just because I could and wouldn’t have a care in the world about being labeled a slut. Being a slut is a good thing for a man… that is until you’re ready to settle down and start a family. Most men don’t seem to realize that their promiscuous past is a real turn-off to most women.

But that’s not really relevant to my desire for wanting a penis, so I’ll save that subject for another day.

If I had a penis, I think my penis would be about 6 ½ -7 inches long, uncircumcised, a shade of light brown, and I’d call it Bob. (I name just about everything Bob. I just think its funny, don’t ask me why). I’d keep my pubic hairs trim and neat but not completely shaved though I’d shave my balls completely. I should probably name my balls, too. How about Dirty and Harry? Just a thought…

Not to brag or anything, but if I were a guy, I think I’d be an excellent fuck. I don’t know why I assume that I’d be so great, but I’m pretty damn sure that I would be.

Now, onto my list of reasons for wanting a penis:

1. I could pee standing up.

2. I could pee in any back ally or parking lot without worrying about my pee running down my leg and not having anything to wipe with.

3. I wouldn’t have to wipe; just pee, shake, and stick it back in.

4. I could write my name in the snow.

5. I really want to know how it feels to jerk off. It looks like so much fun!

6. I want to have an orgasm and see what it feels like from a guy’s point of view. Why can’t you guys get it back up for round 2? Does it really drain you that much?

7. I could give facials, hehe. (Okay, this reason is just me being a perv).

8. I could bitch slap some girl in the face with my penis. I’d like to do it both flaccid and erected. (I’ll admit, this reason is also just me being a perv, hehe).

9. Guys look like they really enjoy receiving blow jobs. I want one and I’d want to get deep-throated. I’m dying to see what all the fuss is about.

10. I’d like to have vaginal intercourse with a female, actually several different females, with and without a condom. Virgins and whores. Do whores really have pussies so loose that you don’t feel much? Does using condoms really make a difference, or is it just an excuse to fuck us raw?

11. I’d also like to try anal sex. I’m curious to see if you guys really do it for the tightness or if it’s just another bisexual tendency that you guys refuse to own up to.

12. Like a typical female, I almost forgot about the boys. I’d like to see what having my balls sucked on feels like. You guys make such a big deal out of it, so there must be something to it.

13. This might sound a little S&Mish, but I’d like to have my balls kicked. I’m a little curious about the pain men experience when they get kicked in the balls. Is it really as bad as you men make it seem or are you guys exaggerating?

14. Maybe, by having a penis, I could finally answer the age-old question about why men are always touching their penis, even when it’s not for sexual gratification.

I’m sure most of you females would agree that these are some very good reasons for wanting a penis, and even if you’ve never admitted to having this desire yourself, I’m sure that reasons I have just listed have at least sparked your curiosity.

Another girl perv here. You're not alone. I stumbled upon your blog while searching for "I wish I had a penis" on Google. Gosh, I wish I had one, I really do. It's so frustrating, it seems so awesome to have one! I would fuck A TON of bitches. Pussies seem so comfortable...

Omg we shuld all b friends lmfao but ya i wish i was a guy nd had a penis too!! It be soo awesome, but i have a fiance nd i dont think hell like that, im straight so ya. But ughh these reasoms r some of the same reasons y i want a penis

I want a penis too!! Here's the weird thing. I think I know what it feels like to have one. I've been having real vivid dreams of me fucking girls with a penis and I can feel the whole sensation. Weird huh. If that's really what it feels like. Hell yeah! I'll trade up my vagina for a penis!!

I want a penis too!! Here's the weird thing. I think I know what it feels like to have one. I've been having real vivid dreams of me fucking girls with a penis and I can feel the whole sensation. Weird huh. If that's really what it feels like. Hell yeah! I'll trade up my vagina for a penis!!

Yes all my life i have wished i had a dick about 8 inches long 2 inches thick to go along with my pussy and i want a female to suck me then let me fuck her also to have my man suck me and then let me fuck him. i would still come in my pussy but this little clitoris which is a small kinda dick would be the size i want it to be

Not sure if this is still read, but some thoughts from a guy for you. ☺

1 - 4. It definitely can be convenient. Not something you actively think about, but I suppose you don't know what you have when you have it?

5. It IS awesome. Feeling yourself all big in your hand is a turn on, and when it goes off, it's exciting.

6. I've always wondered what an organ would be like from a woman's point of view. As for not going for round 2... It's not a matter of choice, or being drained. The body just shuts it off. That tingling "feeling" you get when you're all aroused isn't there and there's nothing you can do about it. It sucks, especially when you're still mentally turned on and still want to play. Very not fair.

9. Imagine this being like a guy who could make his penis vibrate while having sex with you. Physically, it's everything that's amazing about how sex feels with the added bonus of a tongue massage and finesse. Not to mention how extremely intimate it is.

10. The difference with and without a condom is huge. There are simply so many amazing things you can't feel with one on, like how smooth and wet. That sensation is a big deal and it just isn't there.

11. No, it's because the idea of putting your penis in a woman in any way is exciting. A woman's ass is really hot and being able to put your penis in what you think is hot is the reason.

12. That's way too much sensation for me. I can barely take it. *shrug*

13. No you don't. It's so painful I've seen guys go pale and vomit from it. I've been nauseous myself where I've had to lay down for thirty minutes and ride it out. Now, on the other hand, just a touch of roughness for a *hint* of S/M is a different story.

14. I have no idea either! I think it's a fidgit thing. I just find myself doing it without thinking and it's annoying! Good luck with that one.

Not sure if this is still read, but some thoughts from a guy for you. ☺

1 - 4. It definitely can be convenient. Not something you actively think about, but I suppose you don't know what you have when you have it?

5. It IS awesome. Feeling yourself all big in your hand is a turn on, and when it goes off, it's exciting.

6. I've always wondered what an organ would be like from a woman's point of view. As for not going for round 2... It's not a matter of choice, or being drained. The body just shuts it off. That tingling "feeling" you get when you're all aroused isn't there and there's nothing you can do about it. It sucks, especially when you're still mentally turned on and still want to play. Very not fair.

9. Imagine this being like a guy who could make his penis vibrate while having sex with you. Physically, it's everything that's amazing about how sex feels with the added bonus of a tongue massage and finesse. Not to mention how extremely intimate it is.

10. The difference with and without a condom is huge. There are simply so many amazing things you can't feel with one on, like how smooth and wet. That sensation is a big deal and it just isn't there.

11. No, it's because the idea of putting your penis in a woman in any way is exciting. A woman's ass is really hot and being able to put your penis in what you think is hot is the reason.

12. That's way too much sensation for me. I can barely take it. *shrug*

13. No you don't. It's so painful I've seen guys go pale and vomit from it. I've been nauseous myself where I've had to lay down for thirty minutes and ride it out. Now, on the other hand, just a touch of roughness for a *hint* of S/M is a different story.

14. I have no idea either! I think it's a fidgit thing. I just find myself doing it without thinking and it's annoying! Good luck with that one.

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About Me

Angry Girlfriend lives in an undisclosed location. Most likely, somewhere in the desert under a rock, as this is the location where most mentally unstable people can be found.
She has a degree in Psychology (go figure) and plans to further her education. She hopes to one day become a sex therapist and writer. But until then, she's decided to torture the people of the internet by publishing all of her random nonsense on her blog.
If you've ever called a Phone Sex Hotline, chances are it was her on the other end of the line, and yes, she was laughing at you hysterically once she got you off the line. (Yes, that pun was intended).