Quirky observations about Life in Japan, Canada and the world at large.

2008-11-20

All Hallowed Out.

I've postponed it long enough and it's now time to clean up my place since the Great Pumpkin tore my apartment apart looking for costume ideas. Following are some scans of my latest Halloween sensation, the Caveman: (the results of which can be witnessed back here.)

First take one large swath of tiger skin. One can go to India and track, kill & skin your own, but I went the easier route of buying one at a used goods shop about 5 years ago. These days tracking down a used goods shop is about as easy as hunting a tiger, so suit yourself.

The tri-toed slippers are important. Either go back in time and pick them up at Zellers 20 years ago or try and find a pair elsewhere. Good luck finding them in adult sizes these days.

For the more modest caveperson on the go, it's important to wear some King Kong boxer shorts. This has the added advantage of containing your dangly bits and preventing possible indecent exposure charges.

It isn't necessary to have your ass, "ROAAAARR!!!" but it doesn't hurt either.

As your more fashionable Cave-dweller can attest, it's important to accessorize! Start off with a lovely Dream-catcher from Canada. You can pick them up in any souvenir shop in Niagara Falls, but try and get an authentic one from Nelson, BC like I did.

A couple of VooDoo dolls are important to add a spark of realism to your outfit. You can buy some crappy K-Mart dolls but it's best to shop in New Orleans to guarantee that they pack some whammy. Sure they may be anachronistic, but my Shrunken Head was at the cleaners.

Fortunately leopards wander the forests of Japan in such great quantities that they are not at all endangered and the Japan Wildlife Commission encourages you to kill them and sell leopard-skinned goods at your local 100￥ shop.

At that same 100￥ shop, one can find a noise maker-horn that thanks to a generous wrapping in masking tape garners one a handy-dandy club.

It is necessary to be particularly adept at UFO Catcher in order to capture one of these rare spotted pyppets (python-puppets) alive.

Add a few poorly scanned beasts to your repetoire (sorry, too lazy to photograph properly) such as this wooden Jackal head. It's best to wear a hat and attach it to that, for it takes great poise to keep it balanced upon one's noggin.

Include a UFO catch Wolf & life-size King Kong head to wrap around your wrist as proudly displayed trophies and you're pretty much guaranteed to wow all the guests at your next Halloween party.

About Me

I was born a young white child. After almost 20 years of depressing social work, dealing with all manners of society's dregs, I decided to chuck it all and move to Japan and teach English. Now I'm a happy camper teaching Elementary School kids in Watari, Miyagi.