Roundtable #9: Arguments Against Openness Some people argue that adopted persons should be free to initiate relationships with their first families–or not–on their own timetable. The parents (first and adoptive) in an adoption shouldn’t make such an important and personal decision for them by engaging in fully open adoption. What is your response? Do you agree or disagree? Why?

Roundtable #10: Birthdays I know that birthdays can be an extremely emotional time, for everyone connected to adoption, not just those of us in open adoptions. So what is it that we do, as part of our open adoptions, during the “birthday season”?

Roundtable #12: Resolutions Call them resolutions, commitments, changes, or choices–how will you be proactive in the area of open adoption in 2010?

Roundtable #13: Disagreeing About Openness What we don’t often discuss is when people on the same side of the triad can’t agree on the level of openness in an adoption. How would/do you navigate these situations? Does your current relationship impact the type of open adoption that you have? How does this affect your current relationship?

Roundtable #14: Defining Success If there’s one thing we all might agree on, it’s that we’d like our open adoptions to be successful. But what does “success” mean to you, when speaking about open adoption? Do you think it may mean something else to the others in your triad?

Roundtable #16: Looking Back Imagine your child as an adult describing their open adoption experience. What do you hope they will be able to say about you? How did you view their other parents? In what ways did you support their relationship with them?

Roundtable #17: What Don’t You Want Shared? Are there any things that you don’t want the other members of your triad to know—or that you don’t want to know about them? What don’t you want shared in your adoptive relationships?

Roundtable #18: The Professionals We each interacted with at least one professional during the adoption process (agency, lawyer, facilitator, consultant, hospital social worker, etc.). What was one thing that they did that was most supportive of open adoption? What one thing was least supportive?

Roundtable #19: Open Adoption is About… “Open adoption is about information sharing.” Share your reaction to that statement. How well does it match up with your experience of open adoption? If you disagree, how would you finish the phrase, “Open adoption is about…”?

Roundtable #34: Difficult Questions How do you handle such questions when they are asked of you? How would you want the other parties in your open adoption to handle those questions when they are about you?

Roundtable #36: Agreements Write about open adoption agreements. Is there one in your open adoption? What effect does it have on your relationships? If you could go back in time, would you approach the agreement differently?

Roundtable #41: Are you approaching openness differently in 2013? What experiences from in the past year influenced you most?

Roundtable #42: Think about a time when your child has been injured or sick (or for adoptees, when you have been injured or sick). Did adoption change or complicate that experience at all? Did you share it with others in your adoption constellation? You might write about an actual experience you have had or think about what you ideally would want to have happen.

Roundtable #43: How did you talk to your extended family about open adoption prior to adopting/placing? How did they respond? For those with non-receptive family members, were you able to have more successful discussions with them post-adoption?

Roundtable #46: Therapy: Have you ever considered seeking therapy (for yourself or a child) around adoption issues? If you’ve discussed adoption with a therapist or sought out an adoption-competent therapist, what was your experience like?

Roundtable #47: Have you experienced a stalled open adoption relationship? Have you ever been the one who pulled away?