…or not as the case may be. Learning how to juggle family, work, friends and me time.

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pre-schooler

My daughter has a ‘butter won’t melt look’ about her most of the time and, I’ll give her her dues, she is a damn good negotiator when it comes to trying to get her way. But sometimes things don’t quite work out as she planned and when this happens you can be guaranteed that you will get the disappointed look below and the there will be a ‘The world has ended’ style tantrum. It doesn’t matter where we are or who we’re with, the tantrum will happen over the tiniest thing.

Asked for cheese, got ham. Just to keep myself slightly sane through these moments I decided to record the reasons the shit hit the fan in my daughters world. Of course, they are all entirely legitimate and worth the energy usage for all involved.

Below are some of the reasons:

There wasn’t enough milk with her Cheerios

*tops up milk and finishes cheerios* There was too much milk with the Cheerios.

Her dress was long sleeved.

Her pink tights weren’t washed.

She’s tired. (Because she woke up at 6am)

There was a stone in her shoe (there wasn’t).

I gave her 2 biscuits, not 3.

I gave her 8 raspberries, not 6.

Her cucumber was cut in slices, not sticks.

Her lemonade was too lemony (damn you San Pellegrino)

I wouldn’t let her use the drill by herself.

I couldn’t rewind Miffy because we’d only just turned the tv on.

I wouldn’t play the most boring board game ever with her for the 300th time that day.

I couldn’t carry her because I had a dog attached to a lead in one hand and shopping in the other.

It started to rain (obviously my fault).

I didn’t participate in the race down the path (because I hadn’t been told it was happening).

I wouldn’t let her walk into the road by herself.

She dropped her teddy and it got muddy.

I wouldn’t buy her the kinder surprise egg AND the Frozen surprise egg.

I wouldn’t let her watch Family Guy when she woke up and came downstairs.

As you can see, I am obviously a complete bitch of a parent.

I could go on but I’m exhausted just writing about them! These were also mostly from a 48 hour period! Please let me know your child’s (entirely legit) reasons for the world ending in your house in the comments below!

Well it would seem I had my six week summer holiday from blogging earlier than the kids have from school! I thought if I didn’t write now I may never get round to it so here’s just a little post getting me back in the game.

There’s been many reasons for the break…I finally got the keys to my new house but it’s taken a while to get there, work has been ridiculously crazy and Charlotte has been a bit of a handful and I am currently writing this is the children’s ward of our local hospital as she’s had a horrible tummy bug. My love life’s been a hot mess to be honest and I just wasn’t feeling the writing or more to the point I didn’t know what to say about which thing when, which pretty much summed up my head space.

Anyway, a new chapter full of good things (we’ve just this minute been discharged as tests have come back ok) so hopefully you’ll rejoin me back on the journey.

Ten weeks ago I posted ‘Time for bed‘. I have just re-read it and cried. It was the post that made my friends text me to check I was ok. It was the post that made me realise just how badly Charlotte’s lack of sleep was affecting my whole life. It was the post (and the discussions afterward) that made me follow a few sleep consultants on Facebook.

It was also the post I shared with Jennie Harrison when one of her Facebook updates sounded like she had been in the room with me that evening whilst I was trying to get Charlotte to sleep. She said she could help me and after reading her website I already felt a little sense of relief…someone had been through this stuff as well. Is wasn’t just me. Others had issues with getting their child to sleep too. Jennie pointed me in the direction of her Ultimate Toddler Sleep Programme and it sounded like exactly what Charlotte and I needed.

I had no idea what to expect with our first module ‘Calm Mum, Calm Toddler’ but from then on it all started to slot into place. I was definitely not calm when dealing with bedtime then and, although it seemed impossible I started to get there. I took some time for myself – whether I thought I had any available or not. I started doing my yoga again. I started to look at how my life was organised (or wasn’t!) and I started to change little things. Only little things to me or anyone else but those little things had a massive impact on how I could then cope with bedtime and life in general.

The Ultimate Toddler Sleep Programme has helped Charlotte go from not sleeping until 10.30-11pm most nights with a battle every single night, to generally being asleep by 7.30pm having completed a mutually calm bedtime. She used to wake when I went to bed if not before, and want to stay up and she would usually wake again at least once through the night for water or similar. Now, using techniques Jennie has taught us she usually sleeps through. She used to scream if I even suggested sleeping in her own bed, she now tells me that she is going to sleep in her bed and I am going to sleep in mine. Sometimes she stays there, sometimes she doesn’t but it’s a work in progress and I know we will get there. Hopefully the new Frozen duvet cover will I give her a bit more of an incentive!

Throughout our time on the programme there has been no crying it out, no instructions on how you must do things but there has been an overwhelming amount of support available. We have had few late nights and a few nights that have gone awry but, because I know why it’s happened, I can keep calm and counteract that reason as soon as possible and get back on track. We have also worked on her nap transition (from one to none – eeek!) and how she copes with nursery. All of the above means I have a happier, more lovely daughter who is just gushing with affection and I feel the same way. I am still working full time and Charlotte is still at nursery full time but rather than me dreading picking her up because of the mood she’ll be in, we both enjoy our time together much more and there is so much less shouting.

I would say I’m an optimistic person but I think over time I’d lost some of my positivity. Something I used to pride myself on. Working with Jennie and having an amazing group of ladies in the Facebook group for the programme has given me that back. So many great things have happened since I started my eight week programme, it can’t all be a coincidence. Yes I think I deserved some good things to happen, but maybe I was the one who was blocking it, or maybe I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind.

One of the things all the amazing mums in the group have said was that we wish we knew about Jennie sooner. We’d all been battling sleep deprivation for years not just months. Which is why I was so excited to hear that Jennie is just starting a new Blissful Baby Sleep programme. I think I know what I’ll be getting for any of my friends who are pregnant!!

Jennie has a Sleep Deprived Mums Club which I have signed up to, so I don’t feel too bereft after finishing the programme. Here you can get access to so many of the amazing resources I have had. She is also hosting a FREE sleep class next week so sign up now! You won’t regret it.

I am currently in bed. I know what you’re thinking…hurrah, Charlotte’s sleeping and mummy gets some rest. Well that’s not ENTIRELY the case. The reason I am in bed is because Charlotte has turned into a limpet. My extra appendage which, if removed, will sob, cry, smack, wail and try to reattach itself immediately, so that the life blood which is my skin does not feel the cool air for too long.

A bit dramatic you may think but she wants to be touching me ALL THE TIME at the minute and there have been times when it actually makes my skin crawl.

When we wake up we have cuddles, I love this time. A sleepy conversation about what we’ll be doing that day and watching her puffy, sleep filled face snuggled into my chest is just beautiful. But then it’s time to get dressed. It is like trying to dress an octopus who is desperately trying to get all it’s suckers on you at once and you can’t put trousers on if they’re sitting on you. You can’t put a top on if one hand is in her mouth sucking her thumb (her version if a comforter) and the other is trying to search for some skin to clutch. Trying to get dressed yourself is equally as impossible. Trying to put on tights whilst a child clings to your leg for instance…impossible.

Then breakfast. If possible she wants to eat on my lap. If I try and clear up or make breakfast for myself I am beckoned to sit next to her and any independent eating will cease until I am by her side.

She wants to be carried down the stairs (something I cannot do as my back has been through enough the past three years) so then I have a tantruming child all the way down my communal hall stairs and out into the car park. What the hell my neighbours think I do not know.

Every morning.

I have tried giving her independence by asking her to choose her clothes, helping her dress herself, letting her pour her own milk into the Rice Krispies but apparently only mama will do.

The reason I am tucked up in bed at such an early time is because, at the moment, me being in with her is the only way she will go to sleep. She must be touching as much surface area of me as possible – even once asleep so will lie up close and personal with me and reattach if I try and scoot a couple of inches away. Just to add to the overcrowding the dog, never one to miss out on anything, will come and lie so that she can take our warmth. I have tried moving – she has woken up. I have tried retreating to the other side of the bed but she rolls over until she finds me.

I am so grateful that she loves me so much she wants to be with me all day but I need to make my child more independent and able to stand on her two feet but if you’ve ever tried to remove a limpet from a rock on the beach you know how bloody difficult it is! Crowbar anyone?