Litter Kwitter Etiquette.

I am taking a tiny break, but I feel guilty when I do that so I have got you some awesome biatches to entertain you in my absence. If you want to be a guest biatch send me your post asap along with a margarita, block of chocolate and your credit card details.

First up is Liz who not only designed my awesome buttons over on the right there {which you can totally take and post on your site FOR FREE! I know, I am all about giving back}, but is also an advertiser on the left there. Which ALMOST makes up for the fact she is a cat lover and chose to guest post about motherfucking cats.

I have a confession to make. I’ve known Laura for a couple of years now, but I have never once used her bathroom despite visiting her house regularly. TMI? Maybe. But it’s because, well, I’m not sure how to share nicely.

Rah is one of the (apparently) many cat owners that are opting for using Litter Kwitter training for their kitties. The main problem is that Bear and Elvis (the cats) are still at a stage where you need to have the special fitted cat-seat for them to use it, which means that when you need to go to the bathroom all kinds of questions are raised.

So, here are my questions, with a list of possible answers, multiple choice style. The way I see it, there are three possible scenarios:

You walk into the bathroom and the cat is clearly using the toilet. Do you…

a. Stare the cat out. You’re the human here.b. Scream and run away. You’re never using that bathroom ever again.c. Wonder how much of a push the cat would need to fall in and exactly how funny / unfunny that situation would be.

The bathroom is clear, but the toilet is still covered with the cat seat contraption. Do you…

a. Sit gingerly and hope you aim correctly.b. Get confused, decide to pretend you’ve done your business and leave the bathroom hoping you head home soon.c. Make a hilarious comment to the owners about how this is the first time in your adult life you’ve been unsure how to pee and hope they explain it to you.

You approach the bathroom as the ‘well trained’ kitty is leaving. There is poop in the bowl. Do you…

a. Awkwardly start a discussion with the owner about who is responsible for flushing – the cat, the owner, or you?b. Pretend you weren’t interested in the bathroom at all. Pat the cat that is exiting so it’s believable.c. Flush it and move on.

So, Laura. I think what I’m trying to say is… I love you and I love your cats… but can you please put some (laminated) instructions in your bathroom?

—

Liz is easily described by the term ‘crazy cat lady’. This has yet to deter Kelley from talking to her, but she is sure that one day it will be the breaking point in their internet friendship. She blogs over at Lizosaurus when she feels like it.

I currently have three cats. The youngest was a rescue cat and was never taught where/how to poo and wee by its mother. I think one of these toilet thingies would be preferable to it crapping and peeing wherever the hell it wants, including on my divorce papers. (Quite fitting really…)

We did have a cat that used to like flushing the toilet when he wanted attention, especially in the middle of the night. Never taught him to actually use the toilet as his litter box though, so we didn’t have to worry about it causing any embarrassing conundrums.

Gross! And just when I’ve been debating buying a kitten … have checked desexing prices with the vet, have local pet shop kitteh picked out, have name ready, purchased kitteh food … now need new xanax script for ocd. kthnx 😉