3 steps to adding more pleasure to your life

Does life feel like it's more about work than it is play? Sometimes, when we get sucked into the daily monotony of 'adulting' and everything that comes with it, pleasure goes out the window. Here's how to get it back!

Pleasure is a broad word that means different things to different people so the first step is to figure out what it means to you. For some people it's a walk in nature. For others (specifically those who were craving a break from work) it was a nap!

For me, the word "pleasure" usually conjures up that image of Juliette Binoche feeding Johnny Depp chocolate on the cover of the movie 'Chocolat'. That pretty much sums up the elements of pleasure - the creativity and atmosphere of the chocolaterie, the luxury of good quality chocolate and the sensuality of sharing it with a gorgeous man.

​Now obviously, there are other things in life that bring me pleasure too, it's just that being a bit of a foodie, a chocolate addict and a movie nut this is what first comes to mind. So what comes up for you?

Knowing what brings you pleasure is important because in a world where we value achievement and getting things done, sometimes we forget to make time for the bliss and joy that pleasure brings with it. So here are 3 simple steps to injecting more pleasure into your life:

Step 1: Know what's pleasurable for you

Create a list to get your juices flowing, and if you're struggling to find out what it is for you, ask yourself these questions. "When do I feel happiest?" "When do I feel most alive?" "When does my soul feel most nourished?"

Step 2: ...actually do it!

Book it into your schedule and actually do it! After all, if we can make time for our boss' agendas, our friends needs and everything else we are trying to do, it's important to carve out time to connect with what brings us pleasure. Not only will you start doing more of what you love (which will make you a happier person in general) but planning your pleasure also has another great bonus, mentioned in step 3...

Step 3: Anticipation is half the pleasure!

​Positive psychology studies the actions and behaviours that create happiness in people and it has been noted many times that it's not just what you do that makes you happy, it's looking forward to doing it that makes the difference. When you look back on anything you've done that's brought you great pleasure....wasn't the build up almost just as fun as the actual event? Think about when you were planning that amazing European holiday, or when you know you have a 90 minute full body massage booked in at the end of the week or you are going on a date with someone you've just met and are really in to....the anticipation puts you into that state of pleasure before the event even happens. Much like a gratitude list draws you into the energy of the abundance you want to create in your life, booking in pleasurable activities draws you into that energy of pleasure now, and makes your day to day life that little bit more exciting and inspiring!

Be Present.

The biggest aspect of experiencing pleasure is to be fully present in what you're doing. This is the part that many of us miss, because we spend so much time in our heads. Have you ever had that experience of meeting up with a friend for coffee and afterwards you realised that you actually missed out on the enjoyment because you weren't really present and 'in' it? Maybe you were worrying about something happening at home or thinking about all the things you had to do afterwards.

At the heart of it, pleasure is really about being totally present in the moment and connected to the flow and bliss of life.

So connect in to what brings you pleasure, book it in, start looking forward to it and show up completely present for it. Taken regularly, these steps are guaranteed to help build your happiness and self love muscles!

Where will you be in 6 months time if you keep doing what you’re doing right now?

The reason I ask this questions is because I’ve been thinking a lot about how we keep ourselves stuck in the same patterns when we don’t commit to our dreams. I was talking to a client and friend last week who had been struggling with a few different health related issues; she wanted to lose weight and she also wanted to get back into exercise but a couple of things kept holding her back. She felt like she was sabotaging her weight loss goal because she couldn’t stay on track with her diet and manage her sugar cravings. This was causing her a lot of emotional upset. Also, every time she committed to getting back into exercise and would try to go for a run or do yoga a back injury kept limiting her from moving forward so she would stop and then try again the next week.

This was a pattern for months until she made the decision and commitment that she didn’t want to still be stuck in 6 months time. Despite being a student and on a budget, she reached out and hired a physio to help her rehabilitate her back and a health coach to help her stay on track with her diet and create a plan for what to do when she was craving sugar. Basically, she took action on making her dreams come to life by realising that it was up to her to take different actions if she wanted to see different results.

In our last session she said to me, “It’s amazing how much momentum I have now that I’ve chosen to invest in myself and my dreams.” The physio has helped her so much she can now go on long walks and do yoga again. I’ve helped her to create a more balanced eating plan and to deal with the emotions that often cause us to sabotage what we are working towards. Every month she can see herself actually moving closer to her goal of being healthier and happier.

So I want to ask you - where is it that you need to invest in yourself so that in 6 months time you can be living your dreams? There’s that great quote - “If you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what you’re getting” - so if you’re not happy with how your life looks at the moment, what action can you take to invest in yourself?

I know that so many of us and in particular, we kiwis, love todo it all ourselves.We take a lot of pride in being a Do-It-Yourself kind of culture and I love that spirit, BUT, if you have been trying for a while to get a result and nothing is changing then you owe it to yourself to take a different action. The most successful people in the world don’t do it on their own; they have personal trainers, mindset mentors, financial advisors, secretaries…basically people who will help them get to where they want to go faster.

We are already half way through the year and so I want to ask you this question: Are you closer to living your dreams now than you were at the start of the year? If the answer is no, then what actions can you take to invest in yourself NOW so that by the end of the year you are where you want to be? ​Your time is your most precious commodity and it’s not unlimited so please take that action today - see the travel agent, book a cleaner, go to that course, sign up with a health coach or personal trainer and start living life at your highest potential.

And of course, if you want to find out more about how sessions with me can move you towards your goals faster, all the details are over here: