Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Navel gazing and other worthwhile pursuits

I am refusing to blog until I know the fate of my job, which I will tell you ALL about once I know what is happening, hopefully tomorrow. Or Friday. Or next month. Sheesh- I work for the state- this could take a while, folks. Needless to say, I will either be employed or unemployed and selling pencils on that freeway exit ramp at some point in the near or distant future. Seriously- at this moment in time, you know as much as I do, which is saying a LOT.

As an "amuse bouche", if you will- a few other items on the "discussion agenda":

Botox

Groupons

Botox procured through Groupon

Feet

Vaginas

Just kidding

Uvulas

Sloth

Radishes

Underpants

As soon as I know. YOU'LL know. Until then I'm laying on the couch, not blogging and re-reading trashy books, merely on principle and an astounding amount of laziness.

5 comments:

Didn't know you were taking out by the Minnesota budget "crisis". Here's a little story, just in case you find yourself in need of some advanced sales techniques.

A toothbrush company employed homeless people to sell toothbrushes on street corners. While most of the homeless people only sold 5 or so toothbrushes a day, "Freaky Freddy" routinely sold 500 a day.

His bosses at the company where so impressed, they called him in to explain his technique.

Freaky Freddy: "Well, I asks 'em if they want to buy a toothbrush. When they say 'No', I offers 'em a piece of chocolate candy. When they bite into the chocolate, they say 'This chocolate tastes like shit!', and I say, 'It is shit. Want to buy a toothbrush?'"

Employed or not, you can take comfort in knowing you're way smarter, funnier, and even your monkey knows more American history than Michele Bachmann (she started that band Bachmann, Turn'erOver, Drive after the French & Indian War) and she wants a job running ALL the states.