There are some secrets to success when it comes to mixing money and relationships.

A heavenly relationship can hinge on how your handle your bank accounts.

All the experts say the secret to a successful relationship is to be open, honest and transparent with each other (everyone’s nodding) … and that includes money (nodding stops, concerned look on face).

What is it about money and couples? Is it some primal survival instinct which kicks in which drives us to keep our secret stashes of cash? We can certainly understand when you’re in relationship where you have doubts, but we have a lot of long-married friends who still keep separate accounts.

New research from the US shows the more you pool your money, the happier you are.

The study shows where people keep 5 per cent for individual discretionary spending, they are no less happy than if 100 per cent is pooled. In other words, keeping a small amount separate makes no difference to your happiness.

But people who pool 80 per cent are much happier than those who pool 70 per cent or less. People who keep all their income to themselves in a relationship are the least happy.

There are a couple of reasons why this happens.

The first is a selection bias. If your relationship is struggling, you are more likely to keep more as protection against the inevitable. Secondly, if you don’t pool income you spend a lot more time arguing about money. This accentuates earning disparity as one accuses the other of not carrying their weight.

Finally, pooling income reinforces trust in each other as it makes you work harder to make the relationship work during hard times.

If you each have separate money, it’s easier to just walk away without the commitment.

There are so many give-and-take decisions to be made in a relationship and pooling income makes for one less negotiation.

But it is an individual decision. There are always going to be pros and cons and each situation will be different depending on the couple.

Your first step is to make sure you’re on the same financial page. Money issues can tear a marriage apart if you don’t have consistent goals and values.

The benefits of joint accounts are administrative ease, lower costs, it’s easier to manage, simpler to budget and funds are readily available.

On the other hand, it can be tricky if one spouse is a bigger spender, or worse budgeter, and you constantly have to keep an eye on the balance.

While there’s no definitive answer, there are a few questions that you should be asking each other before you make the decision: Do you have a joint budget? Do you have similar spending habits? What makes you feel more at ease?

It might be more convenient to join your bank accounts, but if it just doesn’t feel right then it’s not worth doing.

Joint or separate, it really doesn’t matter.

If you do decide to split accounts here’s a guide on how to do it right.

Set Up Accounts

Set up three accounts in advance … yours, theirs and a joint account. Have your wages deposited into your individual accounts. Look at what you both make and agree to put a certain percentage of each wage into the joint account each month … then set it up to be automatically transferred.

Work Out Monthly Bills

Calculate how much you need in your joint account each month to stay afloat by adding up your monthly expenses. Once you have a figure see how much from each pay will need to be deposited. If your incomes differ drastically, put in the same percentage of earnings rather than the same dollar amount. If only one partner works, deposit the wage into the joint account first, then transfer money into individual accounts.

Forget About Saving?

Automatically contribute a set amount from your accounts each month to build up your savings or to pay for big-ticket items such as holidays.

Reasons for Having Separate Accounts

– Unsure about the future of the relationship.

– Can’t agree on joint financial goals.

– There is suspicious of financial infidelity.

– Incompatible financial habits … shopaholic married to a spendthrift.