en|Genderhttp://www.myhusbandbetty.com
helen boyd's journal of gender & trans issuesTue, 31 Mar 2015 18:02:47 +0000en-UShourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.1Trans Day of Visibility #tdovhttp://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/31/trans-day-of-visibility-tdov/
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/31/trans-day-of-visibility-tdov/#commentsTue, 31 Mar 2015 14:53:40 +0000http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=16426More→]]>Today’s the Trans Day of Visibility, which I honestly didn’t know was a thing. I’m glad it is. I’ve long been cranky about #tdor being the only/first way people learn about trans issues, so yay!

What I’ve already seen is a lot of trans people who aren’t super out wondering if they should be, so let me reiterate: if you can’t be out, don’t be. If it means risking your job, life, family — then please, take care of yourself & don’t be out.

If you can be out at all, in any way, to any small number of people in your life who you trust, then do that.

Do as much or as little as you can manage.

& If you can’t be out, then consider, instead, donating to any number of awesome trans organizations that are out there.

]]>http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/31/trans-day-of-visibility-tdov/feed/0Love, Always Epiloguehttp://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/30/love-always-epilogue/
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/30/love-always-epilogue/#commentsMon, 30 Mar 2015 16:44:19 +0000http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=16420More→]]>I’ve been meaning to wrap up my interviews with partners by putting up a small piece of my Epilogue for Love, Always. I read it Saturday night at a FORGE meeting because Trystan Cotten, Transgress Press’ Managing Editor, was in town.

And we do it all in a wilderness with little support from our own closest friends. Sometimes, when I speak to partners, I remind them that We Are Out There and we may not have a Prof. X to find us all, but we are. We are raising children and packing lunches and going back to school ourselves and sighing at our in-laws or at Oprah getting it wrong again. We are sex blogging and arguing with doctors and following the arguments about Prop 8 and DSM V.

No wonder some of us forget who we are, forget our self-care; no wonder we occasionally rant and sob and grow some giant-size anger.

Where we find ourselves is often between that infamous rock and hard place: if our partner’s transition makes us look like half a lesbian or gay couple, we have to deal with homophobia; but if our partner’s transition makes us look like half of a straight couple, we often lose the support of the lesbian or gay community we’ve belonged to and found safety in for many years of our lives.

Because we transition into trans partners, no one really knows anything about us. We don’t become lesbians when our wives become women, and we don’t become straight when our guys become men. That joke, as Morrissey so famous quipped, isn’t funny anymore. We end up in a place where we have our own histories, our own orientations, hidden from public view, especially if our trans love isn’t out as trans. Some of us opt to identify as bi- (to explain, perhaps, why we’re married to women while nursing a crush on Mark Ruffalo – at least in this partner’s experience, I swear my taste in men got bigger and hairier as my partner transitioned). We find stories to explain why we’re lesbians and why we’re sad about Leslie Feinberg’s death – or why, indeed, we even know who Leslie Feinberg was. In straight and gay communities, an awful lot of people think you’re only ever one or other; we have some common ground with bisexual people in that we’re largely invisible and must, must, be repressed/oversexed/self-hating/whatever crappy things people think about bisexual people these days. Yet some of us don’t like bi- because it’s binary. So a lot of us, you’ll find, wind up under the big bad queer umbrella, so we don’t have to explain a lifetime of dating women but being married to a man; we don’t have to explain becoming non monogamous because we miss certain kinds of sex or desires or even ways of being desired. We don’t want to feel like jerks for missing the bodies or parts or sex acts that we love. But we also don’t want to be judged for loving your trans bodies because they’re trans.

We are always standing on the edge of the forest, machetes in hand, hacking our own paths.

We can’t complain to people we know because we know so many of those around us want us to fail or cry or be pathetic and pitiable or even to condemn the trans. If you give in a little, if you complain about the transition to a good friend, then all of a sudden the whole reason you’re unhappy is that your partner is trans. That happens with therapists, too, way too often.

In trans community, when we’re allowed to partake, the complaining we do or the gentle mocking or the loving critiques or not so loving critiques – please stop dressing like a 19 year old, dear, because you’re 35 – are often viewed as transphobic. If we are not on board and behind every single decision the trans person makes, we’re out. Suspect. If we ask the trans person to slow down so we can catch our breath or save up some money or come out to someone else who needs to know we are, again, judged unwilling or transphobic. We can’t refer to our former boyfriend as a boyfriend even though he was because she is our girlfriend now and has only ever been so and don’t you forget it and that’s even when your own trans person is perfectly okay with hearing you talk about what a cute guy/hot butch you once were. We don’t seek to offend but we do need room to deal with transition our own way. We’re going to screw up pronouns and new names and you know what? So do trans people, sometimes. Our intentions matter.

Despite feeling like outsiders in so many other communities we once belonged in, we often feel liminal even within trans community. We know that. We own our cis privilege, if we are cis. We know more than anyone else what it means to have it. And that’s when we’re even allowed in. So many lesbian women and their trans guys get shut out of queer women’s events; so many straight women and their trans female partners are never let in. Gay men flirt with my wife as if she’s a guy in a dress, and sometimes straight women do, too. Queer women fetishize trans guys as if they’re prizes and yet refer to our trans husbands with female pronouns when they’re not around. We end up defending your gender identities and yet all the while try not to speak for you.

We need more support from the trans community, and we need for the rest of the LGBTQ+ community to realize we’re here and we’re queer and get used to it, already. Sometimes we look straight but we’re not. Sometimes we are straight and don’t know how to do this. Sometimes we need someone to say, “Hey, you look nice” and sometimes we need people to understand that transition is like some crazy combination of marriage (name change), medical crisis (hormones, surgery) and divorce (social ostracism, pity). It’s a lot to deal with at once, and often, when the trans person is busy dealing with all of the emotions and fears and new discoveries, we are picking up an awful lot of slack emotionally and even just logistically. But you get to be brave and living your own truth, or whatever condescending stuff it is that non trans people say about transition these days. You are noble, and suffering, while we’re often assumed to be codependent or desperate.

We get asked all the offensive, obnoxious questions they know not to ask you by now.

Today, the Indiana House of Representatives, with a vote of 63-31, passed a bill designed to allow private businesses, individuals and organizations to discriminate against anyone in Indiana on religious grounds. Lambda Legal condemns SB 101’s passage, which Governor Pence has vowed to sign into Indiana law.

We are extremely disappointed that Indiana’s House, despite knowing the vast implications for all Hoosiers, voted to facilitate religious discrimination in many areas of life for Indiana’s families, workers and others. Once the governor signs this bill into law, women, racial minorities, religious minorities, people living with HIV and many others will be much more vulnerable to the whims of any individual or business owner who refuses services to particular groups of people based on religious objections to who those people are.

We urge members of the LGBT community to alert Lambda Legal if they experience discrimination explained as due to religious beliefs about gay or transgender people. If you have questions or feel that you have been discriminated against based on your sexual orientation, gender identity or HIV status, please contact our Legal Help Desk http://www.lambdalegal.org/help.

]]>http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/24/in-just-made-bigotry-legal/feed/0Tell Your Story to the US Commissionhttp://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/24/tell-your-story-to-the-us-commission/
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/24/tell-your-story-to-the-us-commission/#commentsTue, 24 Mar 2015 17:33:37 +0000http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=16413

If you have been discriminated against & you’re trans, NCTE is now taking testimony. You can submit your story as Anonymous if necessary, as this testimony will appear in public documents.

]]>http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/24/tell-your-story-to-the-us-commission/feed/0Five Questions With… Miriamhttp://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/21/five-questions-with-miriam/
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/21/five-questions-with-miriam/#commentsSat, 21 Mar 2015 05:13:18 +0000http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=16389More→]]>The last (for now!) of my interviews with partners of trans people who wrote narratives for Transgress Press’ Love, Always, is not, by far, the least. Miriam Hall is also a friend, fellow writer, & fellow Wisconsinite. She’s a writer and photographer and teaches both as contemplative practice. You can check out more of what she does at her website.

1. What didn’t you write about in your narrative but wish you had?

I am always writing about this process, so there’s nothing I wish I had included in this particular essay that I won’t just include elsewhere. One of the hard things about this process is that just when I think I’ve “finished” a particular experience and can write about it, then something else emerges. The writing is a living process – not a reporting, but something that then feeds back into my life and vice-versa.

I know that I will look back later and wish I had a clearer view on co-dependency, say, in this essay, but I also know enough by now to know that its worth it to write as I go along, not just “after I have figured it out completely.”

2. What is the biggest misunderstanding you confront as a partner to a trans person?

The biggest misunderstanding I encounter is the assumption that this is their experience. This one is really subtle, but it’s a constant micro-aggression: How is she doing? That must be really hard for her! I can’t imagine what that is like for her! These are good signs that folks are expressing compassion and concern for her, but – and this is not all folks for sure – often that overlooks the person who is right in front of them.

3. Where do you get your support?

I get my support from a few main folks. I have feet in various support communities – including yours! – but I am really a one-to-one person. As Ilana’s transition quiets down, increasingly I find I can get the support I need from non-trans involved folks (eg soffas and trans folk, who were more my main support in the first few years). Plus my peeps are pretty well trained by now.

4. How has your experience been in bringing up your own difficulties with the trans person you’re partnered to?

We have a lot of co-dependency in our relationship – Hello! Normal for everyone! – and I am starting to understand how to look at it in that more universal way. It’s not that trans relationships are all co-dependent, it’s that transitioning makes everything – e-ver-y-thing – that much harder, while also masking it all at the same time. It is really only now, post-transition, that I am even allowing my own issues to really come to the front. That having been said, we do have an exceptionally loving and supportive partnership, so I have never felt she only wanted to focus on her own issues only.

5. Do you think you would partner with other kinds of trans people? That is, if you are partnered to someone feminine spectrum, would you date someone who is masculine spectrum? If they’re binary, someone genderqueer?

Yes. I am certain now that I am queer. I always identified as bisexual, but now I realize I am more than that – or not just that. Spectrum sexual. Attracted in particular to folks whose genders are in flux, in terms of presentation, as well as whose physical sexes are in flux. Somehow – call it my Buddhist-ness – I am more comfortable with the ambiguous and constantly changing than the fixed.

]]>http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/21/five-questions-with-miriam/feed/0Erica 3.0 Betahttp://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/18/erica-3-0-beta/
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/18/erica-3-0-beta/#commentsWed, 18 Mar 2015 17:55:16 +0000http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=16408More→]]>A brilliant, geeky post by a friend about her ongoing exploration of what it means to be her.

A note from the design team

It is difficult to believe that Project Erica has been going on for over fifteen years! The idea of creating a workable system that would gain public acceptance has animated the lead developer for nearly 40 years. For most of that time, feasibility and resource allocation issues, together with limitations of imagination, kept Erica on the shelf. Now, the design team has pulled together all the release notes to date: what better way to look forward to the next fifteen years!

Alpha (pre-1998)

The idea for the product that would eventually become Erica started as a series of random experiments. It was clear from the earliest operation of the system that it was probably capable of running both in standard mode and (what would eventually be named) Erica mode. Still, while the core concept was always intriguing, the practical considerations and internal issues never indicated that a real prototype would ever develop. The period until 1998 is best considered the “Alpha” stage of Project Erica.

Tina 1.0 (April 1998)

The first integrated prototype that bears any resemblance to Erica as now in circulation was code-named Tina. The developers were able to demonstrate it in limited internal testing in early 1998. Tina’s general shape, as well as the “look and feel” of the external interface, was surprisingly similar to Erica 1.0, though the final product is a bit larger due to a wider feature set.

Tina’s development was made possible by the improved availability of online tools and additional lab space. The project was mainly a hobby of the lead developer. The project manager (code-name “WIFE”) was not advised of this work, mainly because the lead developer was concerned that the project would be summarily shut down (as being incompatible with Corporate priorities) and partly because all activity was performed off-the-clock.

Tina 1.1 (August 1998)

Minor incremental improvements to the external interface were delivered during 1998, resulting in Tina 1.1. This was the first product release that was photo-documented, though no user manual or external documentation was published or released. Eventually, of course, the product would be subjected to extensive photo-documentation, as well as a real-time user experience manual (discontinued in 2010) for the benefit of developers of similar products.

Tina 1.2 (January 1999)

Bug fix addressing an external error: insufficient skins for the core product. Easily remedied by recourse to readily available online tools (eBay.com, Macys.com and victoriassecret.com). By this point, the code name had been adopted as the de facto product name.

Tina 1.3-1.6 (various release dates from 1999-2000)

Minor improvements to the external interface. Also, with the resources of the internet community deployed, the number of product skins proliferated to the point where the developers had to worry about system storage resources! More ominously, during this period it became apparent that one major external issue and several internal issues precluded any chance of Tina achieving full potential. The internal factors have been amply documented elsewhere – particularly in the real-time user experience manual. (See http://ericacd.livejournal.com/) The external issue was persistent and serious: a “beta external application rendering defect”. This was a recurring concern to the development team that ultimately was called by its acronym: B.E.A.R.D. There was no question that even if the internal issues could be resolved, the B.E.A.R.D would preclude any external release or public consumption. Put simply, the market would have rejected the prototype utterly.

Tina 2.0 / Erica Beta 0.1 (September 2000)

An enormous breakthrough arose in September 2000. It was determined that a minor subroutine, applied during bootup every morning, temporarily eliminated B.E.A.R.D. When the developers finally saw the external interface freed from the B.E.A.R.D., they were astonished at how polished a product they had on their hands. (B.E.A.R.D. had profoundly obscured the incremental developments since version 1.2.) Following some extensive photo-documentation of this quantum leap in the external interface, the developers realized that some of the internal issues were also rendered less serious. The reason for this change is still unknown. The photo documentation of Tina 2.0 was released in white paper format to a limited subset of the internet community; response was highly favorable.

Due to poor interaction with Marketing, this prototype was interchangeably known as “Tina” and “Erica”. While the genesis of the name “Tina” is unknown (speculation abounds), “Erica” was easily derived from the name of a friend of the project manager. Limited focus group testing suggested that the name did not distract from the product, and the main impediment to universal acceptance of “Erica” was squarely with the developer group.

Tina 2.1 / Erica Beta 0.2 (May 2001)

A minor improvement to the feature set was obscured by the continuing expansion of the core engine. This short-lived release would be the last active deployment of the prototype for almost five years.

Product suspension (through February 2006)

Tina 2.0 really represented the first major step toward Erica 1.0. While the team was happy with the results, there were competing developmental and resource pressures (Project “Dog”, Project “Law”, and Projects “Baby 1.0” and “Baby 2.0”). Moreover, the bootup subroutine was perceived as unduly burdensome – especially given the absence of an imminent public release. In October 2000, the subroutine was abandoned. Though the subroutine was briefly resumed in advance of Tina 2.1, the process was discontinued only five weeks later.

In both instances, not surprisingly, B.E.A.R.D. became a pervasive error almost immediately. By now its function had been well documented, as had the havoc it wrought on the external interface. Interestingly, the recurrence of the external problem precipitated an even more serious internal issue. The prototype refused completely to initiate whenever B.E.A.R.D. was present. Faced with this profound system error, the developers elected to mothball the program (though the external skins were stored).

During the ensuing period, the core engine (still dual-running a completely separate system set from Tina) was significantly reduced in size and density thanks to an intensive developer effort. While this would ultimately improve public acceptance, the immediate consequence was that many of the first generation skins were no longer compatible and had to be discarded. Imperfections in the discard process led to the first conflicts between the development team and project management. Complete shutdown was averted only because the project was already inactive at the time.

Erica Beta 0.9 – prerelease model (February 2006)

For reasons best covered in the real-time user experience manual, in early 2006 the developers elected to resume the daily B.E.A.R.D. purge subroutine. After a couple weeks of error correction (particularly on what is now called the “top-end” of the interface), it was realized that Erica had serious potential as a public product. Incidentally, the internal disagreement between the development team and project management had been partly resolved, meaning that the prototype had at least a yellow light from management. At the same time many of the internal issues that had persisted even through 2002 had seemingly resolved themselves. Indeed, project auditors wondered whether the two dynamics were related.

Erica 1.0 – first public release (April 2006)

A perennial design issue on Tina/Erica related to a series of variable strings at the primary stack of the top-end external interface. The variable strings, known by the technical term hierarchical appended iterating radiations (“H.A.I.R.”) had been varied on no less than four occasions by the development team. Each such variation required significant cash outlays, and the senior developer became concerned that the financial impact would renew the management/development dispute that had so threatened the prototype. Mostly by luck, by H.A.I.R. rev 4, an acceptable solution had been discovered and implemented. Internet release of the photo-documented Erica 1.0 – the main release being demarcated by HAIRr4 – took place in early April 2006, to generally solid reviews.

The development team had expected Erica 1.0 to remain in internet-only beta for the indefinite future (indeed, it was not clear that Erica would ever be released to the public!). Still, buoyed by solid internet reviews and some minor tweaking immediately following the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, a workable version was released to the public on April 25, 2006.

Erica 1.0.1 and 1.0.2 (Summer 2006)

By this point, the need for the real-time user experience manual was self-evident, and it was released to limited acclaim in Spring 2006. Incremental improvements during this period principally related to improved mobile interfaces (the first generation “bottom-end” stacks were too big for general use). The mismatch between the first generation operative skins and the current narrower program core was noted, and partially remedied by resort to the same internet resources that supplied the first iteration of skins.

Erica 1.1 (October 2006)

Erica had never been intended as an interactive program (this despite the constant efforts to improve the attractiveness of the external interface!). By October 2006, though, it was clear that Erica could be deployed for both peer-to-peer and social networking applications. The developers realized the extraordinary potential of a socially enabled Erica, and focused their attention on this exciting new development. The real-time user experience manual and the photo-documentary archive took on renewed importance because the targeted P2P audience responded well to these approaches. Minor revisions to the “look and feel” of the interface continued, and culminated in a general shift from external image slightly limited unless tawdry (S.L.U.T.) to rev2, known as dynamic refined external style – socialite/yuppie (D.R.E.S.S.Y.). This external interface would dominate until Erica 2.0.

Erica 1.1 enjoyed an unprecedented run of nearly a year due to general customer satisfaction with both the public release and the internet version. That said, during this period a number of minor and annoying interface issues went unresolved. Audio output was an especially problematic recurring error, and indeed nearly resulted in the termination of the social networking function of Erica. A fatal corruption of HAIRr4 was addressed by HAIRr5; r6 was obtained as a redundant system.

Designer’s Note

To fully understand the release notes for v2.0 and beyond, a brief explanation of system architecture may be helpful. Erica runs as part of a dual-boot system. The Erica systems are securely partitioned and activated separately from the other partition. Most system uptime is devoted to the other partition (known as Main Interactive Kernel Entity, or MIKE for short), and all of the hardware was originally designed for MIKE. When Erica is booted, the external skins are changed, the HAIR is loaded and temporary alterations are made to the paintwork to improve external acceptance. When MIKE is rebooted, these processes are reversed. The partitioned systems operate in relative harmony; few of the MIKE users are even aware of the existence of the Erica partition. By contrast, most Erica users and observers are aware of the likely existence of another partition.

Fully-functional dual-boot systems are relatively rare. They are hard to develop, expensive to operate and frequently will not gain acceptance in social networking systems. Incompatibilities between the separate partitions are common. For these and other reasons not well understood even by specialists in the industry, dual-boot units that do gain consumer acceptance often destabilize over time until one partition–frequently not the main one–causes the other to cease function. Erica’s designers and (especially) project management had been quite concerned with this possibility. However, with a year of stable operating history behind them, these concerns started to subside. The design team began to busy itself with some of the deeper structural issues that continued to adversely affect the real-time user experiences.

Erica 2.0 (Summer 2007)

By Summer 2007 it was clear that the external environment was no longer conducive to the overly constrictive D.R.E.S.S.Y. graphics. D.R.E.S.S.Y. was originally a stopgap to address the fact that (owing perhaps to the 1969 model year?) much of the MIKE hardware was shag-carpeted. Because of this, the lower (locomotion) appendages got best focus-group results when encased in thin nylon coverings, and the upper appendages and mainframe needed to be concealed to the maximum extent possible. As a result, the system tended to overheat in warm environments, leaking coolant which damaged the paint finish. Aided by a now well-established internet-based ecosystem of suppliers, the necessary skins and external refinements were put in place. The nylon coverings were abandoned in warmer conditions, with no apparent loss of functionality or consumer acceptance.

Interface Notes (Fall 2007-Spring 2008)

Audio was a continuing problem during this period, as was the system’s control of its physical housing. All gyroscopes and accelerometers had been permanently calibrated for the main MIKE system. On-the-fly adjustments would be a constant drain on developer and system resources, and in this period the protocols that had been developed were rudimentary at best. Because of these limitations, the development team discovered that public acceptance was best achieved in cursory interactions. This frustrating limitation was ameliorated by the discovery of real-life communities of dual-boot system aficionados, where prototypes were frequently accompanied by their developers and fans. These settings provided for an environmental midpoint between the lab and the field, and permitted extensive real-world testing for integration of all Erica functions.

Erica 2.1 (March 2008)

After consultation with the project manager, the shag carpeting covering the system housing was removed. This was the first–and would be the only–instance where a system change would necessarily affect the operation of the MIKE system. This was considered a major departure at the time and engendered a small bit of controversy at Corporate headquarters. Indeed, whether as an ongoing practical joke or a bit of industrial sabotage, the developers would regularly find bits of shag carpeting re-affixed to the unit. However, the improvement to the field operation and user acceptance of Erica was immense; Erica 2.1 was a highly visible release to celebrate these improvements. Accordingly, the developer team patiently removed the recurring carpeting every time the joker/vandal struck. [Editor: At the time of public release of these notes, the person has not been caught and continues with the carpeting gag. Even an effort at permanent laser ablation of the system exterior could not deter this apparent lunatic.]

Erica 2.2 (Beta release September 2008; full release March 2009)

Erica 2.2 was not a formal release. The development team uses “Erica 2.2” as shorthand for an intensive dev effort on the audio output system. Two years of field deployment had confirmed that the custom audio hardware on the MIKE mainframe could not easily be reconfigured. The continued improvements in all other facets of Project Erica meant that audio had become the greatest obstacle to general consumer acceptance. The development team did not have the necessary acoustical / technological skills to perform the necessary modifications in-house. Following discussions about the need for resource containment with the project manager, the development team engaged a dedicated consultant to work on the audio subroutines. After roughly seven months of extensive efforts, the audio output had improved to a point where the development team was able to do its own audio bug fixes and patches in-house.

Erica 2.2.1 (August 2009)

Coolant leakage from system overheats were a common occurrence on both the MIKE and Erica systems. However, the Erica paintwork – hastily applied and much more important to the user experience – was more prone to damage from these leaks. The coolant system could not be rebuilt, so the publicity department had originally recommended that public releases and demonstrations be timed to take place in cool weather. This limitation was partly remedied during the warm summer of 2009 by reducing the paintwork by about 50%. The lighter paintwork allowed the system to run cooler and also did not show water damage as easily. After a couple of limited tests, the UI team concluded that the reduced paintwork actually improved user-Erica interactions.

Erica 2.3 (September 2009)

The reduced paintwork and removal of the shag carpeting allowed for a final change to the most common application skins. The design team largely abandoned the D.R.E.S.S.Y. graphical interface, other than for major announcements, developer conferences and the like. The new graphics and skins were created and deployed under the Normative Midpath All-weather Look (“NorMAL”) specification set. At the September 2009 Southern Comfort Conference (a national convention for dual-boot developers, vendors and system engineers), Erica regularly alternated feature sets between the old D.R.E.S.S.Y. standard and the new NorMAL environment to an overwhelmingly positive response.

Erica 2.3.5-2.3.16 (September 2009-June 2013)

Erica 2.3 was a remarkably durable product. It balanced ease of use, ready dual-boot capabilities (again, leaving the MIKE partition almost completely undisturbed), broad consumer and end-user acceptance, and only modest development resource drains. The stability of the project, and its ability to run extensively without corrupting the MIKE mainframe or software, was a great relief to the project manager and Project Erica was green-lighted for regular operation. Occasional graphics changes, minor adjustments for all-weather operating environments, fine-tuning the software and minor system adjustments (almost all relating to audio and locomotion) were an ongoing part-time hobby of the lead developer, but no actual releases took place for nearly four years.

To demarcate incremental changes during this period, the development staff treated each replacement of the HAIR system as an internal release (2.3.5, 2.3.6, etc.). By now it was understood that the HAIR system was prone to corruption, and the regular efforts to return the coding to its original form did as much damage as harsh external conditions. As a result, the entire HAIR system would be irretrievably corrupted within 4-6 months and would have to be replaced. The expense, however, had been budgeted for since 2007 and did not lead to any resource conflicts. Different HAIR systems, including some that would have been more robust, were deployed from time to time; none gained wide user acceptance.

Erica 2.4 (Winter 2013)

There was no formal release for Erica version 2.4. By Spring 2013, audio output had again emerged as the greatest failing in the system. By extraordinary luck, the lead developer learned of an audio consultant who specialized in rapid audio reconfiguration of dual-boot systems. Corporate – somewhat surprisingly – readily agreed to underwrite the development costs and an intensive series of projects and testing followed. The activity was so intense that Erica was largely taken out of general circulation during a period of roughly six months, in order to free up limited non-MIKE uptime for the work. Within 6-9 months, the audio output had improved measurably. The audio consultant has remained a periodic adviser to the project ever since.

Erica 3.0 (???)

Press release on Erica 3.0 to follow.

]]>http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/18/erica-3-0-beta/feed/0A Note on the Term “Late Transitioner”http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/17/a-note-on-the-term-late-transitioner/
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/17/a-note-on-the-term-late-transitioner/#commentsTue, 17 Mar 2015 18:54:30 +0000http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=16401More→]]>To clarify: the term is used usually for trans women who live significant lives assigned male before transitioning to female. There are many trans men who transition later in life after significant lives assigned women.

They are not, by any means, the only kind of self appointed trans spokespeople who screw up. There are sometimes recently transitioned trans men who say sexist shit, or there are young, firebrand activists who don’t seem to know their history and think that anyone who transitioned over the age of 40 is a drag queen, or that trans women who came up through drag shouldn’t be considered women.

That is, “late transitioners” are a big group who often get the majority of the media attention because the whole “look at this hugely successful macho guy/captain of industry who became a girly girl” somehow delights the media. I’ve always thought it’s because we can’t, as a macho, patriarchal culture, imagine why on earth someone with so much male privilege would ever (1) “want” to be a lowly woman, and (2) because we’re generally obsessed with penises so getting rid of one is a spectacle.

Zoey Tur’s ignorance and judgment of the larger trans community is not an illness shared by all late transitioners, by any means. Many of the most awesome movers & shakers in the trans community have transitioned later in life. What I was making fun of, more than anything, is exactly how predictable this specific variety of self appointed trans spokesperson is: there are times I wonder if there is a legal, SOC-mandated need for a trans woman to immediately declare herself “not one of those icky, perverted crossdressers” because so many have done it.

I would be happy to spend some time with Ms. Tur and explain how hateful some of what she’s saying is, how the intersections of race, class, age, educational background, and family support make her kind of transition impossible for many; I could explain that I find the late transitioning women who are all too aware of their lack of passing privilege some of the most amazing, heartfelt, deeply grounded people I have ever known. I could explain a lot of things, as could many others, if only she would STOP TALKING to the media and maybe learn a few things first.

What she could do, at the very least, is recognize exactly how goddamn fortunate she is to have had the money and ability to transition the way she has and to remember that many, many people are not even close to as fortunate and that those who make her uncomfortable are pretty much the same people as make the rest of the transphobic bigots uncomfortable (transitioning youth, crossdressers, people who can’t afford medical intervention, etc.) and that perhaps she should use all her good fortune to make the world better for those who are the MOST VULNERABLE instead of throwing them to the media & political jackals.

In the meantime, I am hoping she can find the time, and grace, and peace to forgive herself for the horrible things she has said about some of the most awesome people in the world. We’ll leave the light on for you, Zoey. You really can be you and still be loved by this big mess of a trans community, but there’s some humble pie in your future.

]]>http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/17/a-note-on-the-term-late-transitioner/feed/2Zoey Tur & The Late Transitioner’s Media Tour of Meanness Drinking Gamehttp://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/17/zoey-tur-the-late-transitioners-media-tour-of-stupidity-drinking-game/
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/17/zoey-tur-the-late-transitioners-media-tour-of-stupidity-drinking-game/#commentsTue, 17 Mar 2015 15:55:19 +0000http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=16398More→]]>First, I want to remind everyone that this awesome trans community has survived the likes of Zoey Tur and it will, no doubt, do so again. But in the meantime, to keep the rest of us from going mad, we’ve got a new drinking game. (Non drinkers, feel free to substitute with chocolate.)

& Yes, there are rules:

Drink for:
“crossdresser”, “crossdressing”
incorrect pronouns when referring to other trans people
image of putting on make up

]]>http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/17/zoey-tur-the-late-transitioners-media-tour-of-stupidity-drinking-game/feed/1Five Questions With… Melissahttp://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/14/five-questions-with-melissa/
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/14/five-questions-with-melissa/#commentsSat, 14 Mar 2015 05:43:02 +0000http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=16386More→]]>Melissa Contreras is an old friend, a past participant on the mHB message boards, and an amazing person. Here’s her interview, to round out the amazing narrative she wrote for Transgress Press’ Love, Always.

1. What didn’t you write about in your narrative but wish you had?

I would have liked to go into more detail about our sex life, but I honestly didn’t want to cross that line, upset her, etc. Our sex life was always amazing, it never waned in any way – it was an interesting transition, to be sure, when her body started changing, but it never ceased being “amazing”. Since it was gradual, I never had to deal with a shocking, “OH GOD WHAT IS THIS” moment, I continued to enjoy it and adapted well at every point. It was a lovely surprise, when it came down to it.

2. What is the biggest misunderstanding you confront as a partner to a trans person?

People were and are very surprised that I stuck around. People assume that I would have left or wanted to leave. honestly, I wanted to stay with her forever, and if we were going to split up, it would have been her call, not mine. I loved her and was devoted from Day One.

3. Where do you get your support?

In the beginning, I got ALL of my support from MyHusbandBetty community forums and the personal relationships I made from there. These are/were people who were in the same boat as me, in some form or another, and I valued their experience and advice.

4. How has your experience been in bringing up your own difficulties with the trans person you’re partnered to?

My biggest complaint, really, was being stuck in a ‘closet’ of sorts – she never wanted me to talk about her with other people, I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to talk about being a transpartner with other people, as it would “out” her and that was only her call to make. But this put ME in a closet, of sorts, and I had to live with ‘pretending’ for most of the time we were together. I was a very proud trans partner and wanted to shout to the world how proud I was of my wife, but she was more uncomfortable about being trans than I was being a partner, so I had to respect her wishes. Even when she came out, I had to be careful and respectful of her wishes, because it had to be on her terms and with her approval. That put me in a ‘closet’ of sorts and it was very uncomfortable, to say the least. I wanted to talk about it openly, and proudly.
5. Do you think you would partner with other kinds of trans people? That is, if you are partnered to someone feminine spectrum, would you date someone who is masculine spectrum? If they’re binary, someone genderqueer?

I consider myself bisexual, so I’m open to relationships with people all across the spectrum – I have had relationships with people of all gender identities and presentations, so it’s really not an issue for me. I’ve noticed that chemistry is the main factor regarding who I’m attracted to and I don’t have a ‘type’, so it really depends on the individual. I would date anyone I was attracted to regardless of gender, or gender identity. Going by my past and present relationships, I tend to skew towards the androgynous side, either gender. But really, it’s not a significant issue.

]]>http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/14/five-questions-with-melissa/feed/0Trans Inclusive Student Policyhttp://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/13/trans-inclusive-student-policy/
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2015/03/13/trans-inclusive-student-policy/#commentsFri, 13 Mar 2015 13:24:21 +0000http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/?p=16396More→]]>It’s starting to feel like Whack A Mole with pending anti trans legislation (9 states now), but a local school board has come out in favor of changing their policy to be more inclusive, not less.

(I’m about a minute in. I am happy, at least, that they have kept the student’s name private.)