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A "gifted" goat elevated to YouTube stardom by a short vid of his ability to greet schoolkids down on the farm will not appear on Britain's Got Talent, despite producers' desperate attempts to lure him before the cameras.

Anglo-Nubian goat Darren has sadly "waved goodbye to a chance to become the next Susan Boyle" after his owners at White Post Farm in Farnsfield, Notts, politely declined BGT's advances. According to the Sun, the programme has called the farm's marketing manager, Anthony Moore, "several times in recent weeks asking if Darren can appear" at live auditions in Birmingham next month.

Moore said: "They want Darren to appear on stage in front of Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden. Sure, we'd get good press out of it, but it's a long way for a goat to travel* for a five-minute trick."

He added: "It's not our thing, it goes against the animal welfare standards we've set here. Making him wave in front of thousands of people would not be right for Darren."

The news would doubtless will be welcomed by animals rights outfit PETA, were it not busy campaigning to save sea kittens. We await the organisation's pronouncement on goat exploitation in the media in due course. ®

Bootnote

* The question of what is the maximum acceptable distance for a goat to travel for a "five-minute trick" remains provocatively unanswered.