BREAKING NEWS! Motleyanimal Gets Top 100 CAPS Score

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Jones: Mr. Animal, you recently became one of the top 100 Motley Fool CAPS players. Congratulations on your achievement.

Motleyanimal: Thank you. Would you like to kiss my heiny?

Jones: Perhaps later. Can you tell our readers how you rose to such lofty heights?

Motleyanimal: Well, I use a stock picking technique that relies heavily on "The Broken Clock Theory."

Jones: Could you elaborate?

Motleyanimal: Certainly. You see it doesn't matter what stocks I pick. Of the hundreds of stocks I pick, at least one or two of them will have an up day and when it gets up over 5 percent, I sell it. Much like a broken clock, I am correct twice a day.

Jones: You seem to have a knack for picking some truly terrible stocks like McClatchy and Circuit City.

Motleyanimal: Yes, I like to think of them like dog waste on the sidewalk. While most people will walk around it, I take a proactive approach and I step right in it.

Jones: Do you think your stock picking method could beat a monkey with a dart board?

Motleyanimal: Probably not, we're not that sophisticated.

Jones: Are you speaking in the third person?

Motleyanimal: That was my left brain speaking. Or was it my right? These lobes all look the same to me.