How to Take Better Dick Pics Than the Average Bro is probably like all the other self-help and how-to books out there: they spend 80% of the pages talking about what your problem is and what they're gonna tell you about fixing it, and 2% of the pages actually providing useful information that's only 3-out-of-10 useful anway. And the other 18% is blank space or diagrams or superfluous line drawings of the book's topic. Like a depressed person or, in the case of How to Take Better D*ck Pics Than the Average Bro, a poorly photographed dick.

But again, I say How to Take Better D*ck Pics Than the Average Bro is probably like all the other books of its ilk out there. If you happen to buy it, even as a Dirty Santa gift, and find otherwise, please let me know so I can amend this post.

And buy one for myself.

What? Just because I'm married now I can't continue to charm and titillate my wife with dick pics? And if I'm going to charm and titillate my wife with dick pics, why not with dick pics that are better than the average bro's?

If you're more interested in looking at dick pics than taking them, check out this 2020 wall calendar of Nature's Dick Pics.

And if you're not into your privates on a pendant, Musch Musch will also hand make (hand job?) photos of your very own penis, vagina, boobies, or butthole into a bracelet, a mug, or, for the ultimate dick pic, a 3D piece...

And I mean very NSFW. I mean, it's not like I came across* these 10 images I can't believe are allowed on Amazon because I was searching for porn, boobies, or sex toys on Amazon. I was just minding my own business, perusing...

All the talk of building a prison body during quarantine made me seek out this penis weight set. Because while you can certainly do pushups, pullups, chinups, dips, and squats like a convicted felon, it's gonna be real...

While we normally think of the kraken as wielding tentacles of asphyxiation and death, what if in fact the giant squid is all about pleasure? What if his tentacles, as they appear willing and able to do in this male vibrator...

Mystery Vibes' Tenuto is the sexy toy company's first wearable vibrator for men, and the next in what appears to be a growing market. Though nowhere near as prevalent as vibrators for ladies, male vibrators just keep...

Sex toy, trophy for a dude who's a real T-Rex in the bedroom, (literal) gag gift, the 3D Printed Dickasaurus will serve you well as any of these. But me, I bought a 3D Printed Dickasaurus to leave anonymously for my boss...

Huh, an 8" pink penis called Jizz the Game. I wonder how you play that. Maybe some of you bachelorettes out there prepping for your buttery-nipple- and dick-straw-filled parties as we head into wedding season can test...

Happy New Year from your penis, the little pants snake that thinks VindKan Penis Enlargement Underwear might help him show up to 2020's ssssex ssssessions a little less perky garter and a little more long, lashing anaconda...

If the shoe fits...why shouldn't the condom? myONE Perfect Fit Condoms aren't custom-sized condoms, per se, but with 10 lengths, 9 widths, and 60 total sizes available, taking 15 seconds to line up your ruler like so...

At first I was like, Who the h-e-double-boner named this kitchen tool "Paco's Taco Stroker?" I'm going to make so many masturbation jokes when I write about it. And then I looked closer and was like, Holy hard-on! They...