Work on your Manners

Hey Fitties! OMG, what a rude title!

Sorry, I’m trying to be controversial. 😉

So I really appreciate the feedback from the Twitter extravaganza the other day. For realz, those of you who read 2000+ words devoted to fictional characters named Arty Farty and Paul Pickass deserve some sort of internet medal of valor.

Remember what I said in my post about Social Media all about connecting with people? What does that even mean? A connection has different meanings. In one sense it’s a political, social, professional, or commercial relationship. In another sense, it’s a relation of personal intimacy (as of family ties).

You’ll notice that relationship is a common element in those definitions. Why is connecting even important in the first place? Because when people have a relationship with you, they share knowledge, time, energy, encouragement. If you’re a business owner, they take the time to check out your product. They may not need it, but if they know someone who does, they recommend you. If they see some glaring issue with your product, they tell you about it. Relationship means that you are invested in each other and you care about each others’ success or failure.

For you group ex teachers out there wondering how to get booties into your class, that’s your secret right there. It’s not how good you are, it’s how well you connect.

This is a skill you can learn. I think the best resource is etiquette books. They tell you how to talk to people and what to talk about (and what not to talk about, which I still mess up). Etiquette books tell you how to greet guests and make them feel welcome and how to bring two strangers together to socialize. They teach you the art of gracious behavior.

The best thing about etiquette books is they explain how to avoid things that ruin connections — they help you avoid offending other people so that a relationship can form.

My very favorite guide is the original Emily Post book, Etiquette, that was published in 1922 and is available to read free online! I love it because it offers a really unique historical insight to social conventions during the Roaring 20s. Some of the things that simply were not done in the 20s are now permissible. I kind of like the higher standards of yesteryear. 😉

Now, I don’t claim that I’m a perfect practitioner of Postian principles (hee!), but I learned a lot from her book and think it’s a great asset. Essentially, it teaches you to be sensitive to others’ needs.

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” ~Emily Post