Today is Day 9: as Misha describes various components of what makes Love Grows the ideal place to heal, restore and renew self and your relationships.

The perception many people have about self was superimposed on them by others. Perhaps parents, family members, religion, society, culture, etc. They have accepted this ‘version’ of self as a (1) universal truth and/or (2) permanent, one which they have no control over. This is evident when they say…

This is just how I am.

That’s who we are, we are a family of fighters.

Black people don’t do X.

Women can’t do Y.

Who are you when you remove other’s definition, limitations, fears, dreams, hopes, perspective, beliefs, etc? Who are you really?

Love Grows Sessions with Misha is a safe, inviting place where you can discover new aspects of self. A beautiful place to allow your heart to open and reconnect with it’s true self. A safe place to envision your true self and dream of ways you desire to evolve.

It’s okay and healthy to feel excited about someone or something; to allow your heart to fully expand at the possibility of an experience your heart desires to have. It’s okay to share this excitement with your loved ones.

It’s okay to be vulnerable, transparent, believe, trust and be open to love.

It’s okay to want to have a beautiful, passionate, fun, exciting, healthy, life-giving, emotionally mature, safe love experience absent of the 3Cs, filled with the 3Rs.

It’s also okay to feel disappointed when it does not come to fruition or dissolves before your heart is ready to part.

Sometimes we may feel an element of shame and/or embarrassment when a relationship either does not manifest or ends. We may dread having to face those very same people we shared our excitement with and their desire to know why.

Disappointment may result in feeling foolish for being excited, hopeful and we may erroneously believe moving forward we should temper our excitement or not to allow ourselves to get excited at all. We may conclude that it is not emotionally safe to dream, hope, trust and believe the vision and promise God placed in our hearts and spirit. We may incorrectly believe we are not good enough or worthy because if we were, X would have happened or Y would not have ended.

It’s okay to allow yourself to FULLY feel the disappointment. Actually, it is the healthiest way to process. Allow it to flow through you. Do not stuff it.

Go outside without any gadgets.

Place your bare toes in the grass.

Close your eyes.

Wiggle your toes.

Open your arms.

Inhale deeply.

Exhale slowly.

You are alive. You are here. You are a gift.

Do you realize how many stars had to align to create you?

Can you comprehend the miracle that is you?

Can you grasp that ‘THIS’ disappointment/setback is merely ‘self-correcting’ re-calibrating to realign you with your purpose.

There is ABSOLUTELY nothing out of the reach of God/Love…NOTHING! There is NOTHING anyone can do and there is NO ONE on this plane (or any other) that serves as a ‘gate keeper’ to the love that has been allocated to you.

NOTHING.

NO ONE.

Listen to me love. Can you hear me dear heart? Yes, you…the one who feels as it there is no way you can get pass ‘THIS.’ You are in a body, on a round sphere suspended in the galaxy near the sun and darkness simultaneously. Believe me…’THIS’ cannot compare to the infinite miracles that is life, love and God.

It’s okay to feel disappointed.

It is better to release, trust and KNOW that who and what is for you is for you and EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that isn’t will make their exit in some of the most creative ways. Do not resist. Allow.

It’s inevitable that along our journey we will encounter people who do not honor their word and there may also be times when we do not honor ours. Life is in constant motion, so change is understandable and oftentimes expected; and that is okay, normal and healthy. However, what is NOT okay or healthy (although unfortunately quite normal for some) is to not follow up in a timely manner with the others who are involved or to disappear altogether.

There is mind logic and emotional wound logic.

Mind logic knows that it someone does not honor their word, follow through, lies, manipulates, etc. that THESE are a reflection of him/her and has absolutely NOTHING to do with the recipient (you). It is a choice to engage in these low energy, life taking, emotionally wounding behaviors.

However, ‘emotional wound logic’ experiences these as triggers to the feelings of:

Rejection

Abandonment

Not good enough

Because somewhere (oftentimes in childhood) this wound was established. Perhaps it was caused by an absent parent. Logically, now as an adult you know the separation of your parents or decision for dad/mom to not be active in your life has absolutely nothing to do with you. However, as a child who may have waited for hours for that parent to pick you up and felt rejected, disappointed and/or not good enough when he/she did not show this feels familiar.

For the child who never knew their parent and longed to be ‘seen, heard, validated and loved’ this feels like the familiar rejection and abandonment.

When someone does not honor their word (i.e. stands you up, doesn’t follow through, disappears, cancels at last minute with no explanation, etc.), especially in the vulnerable romantic, heart centered space; this exacerbates the ‘not good enough/worthy’ wound.

And every disappointment (usually in the romantic arena) makes this ‘groove’ a bit deeper until it becomes a well-worn path to emotional hurt. Although you have made healing a priority and have made exceptional strides in this arena, it still stings when it happens.

At Love Grows we like to focus on your ‘power’…what do you have power over?

You cannot change or control the way this person CHOOSES to interface with the world (believe me, their behavior is NOT person specific to you; this is how he/she interfaces with the world) but YOU do have POWER over the narrative you tell yourself and the role you play in it. Sure, you can choose to be the victim, where you have no power and this happened to you. OR (my preference/recommendation) is to choose to view yourself victorious where you are abstracting the lessons, tools and wisdom from this experience.

What did you learn about yourself?

Is there anywhere you could have made different choices?

What is this experience here to teach you?

Were there any red flags your intuition felt/perceived but you over-rode? Why did you over-ride them?

Which behaviors/characteristics trigger your emotional wounds?

There is a purpose why your paths crossed with each other at this particular juncture. There are no mistakes.

Find the lesson.

Discover the wisdom.

Own your power.

…but whatever you do, do NOT allow this to dim your light or belief in goodness, abundance and love. Your ultimate power is to create in your mind and heart the vision you seek to manifest and experience on the physical plane. Do NOT give away your power to what is a temporary, minute experience in the grandness of you and your life adventure! Onward and inward in love!

You know age, status, educational degrees, bank accounts, marital/child status does NOT correlate with emotional maturity and/or healing; instead it is something that can happen anytime during one’s life and space.

You know your parents are not exempt from #4.

You know your spouse is not exempt from #4.

You know your children are not exempt from #4.

You intimately know the healing power and liberation of forgiveness.

You learn and continue to perfect the Art of #Grace.

It’s a journey.

Everyone is on one, although it looks different.

Keeping people ‘emotionally incarcerated’ in your mind requires you to stand guard in that emotional prison.

Love heals.

Love Grows.

May you allow love to bloom fully in your heart and mind.

We are accepting new clients (and previous ones as well). You do not need to wait until the new year to begin. Contact LoveGrows@MishaNGranado.com to schedule your sessions. You are worth the investment. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS