Great Sex Without Intercourse

Older couples can look forward to trying out these creative alternatives

Most Americans define sex as intercourse. The old in-and-out can be great fun, sure, but it also tends to frustrate many older couples. Even when aided by erection medication, older men may have difficulty accomplishing it. And even with the help of a lubricant, older women may experience pain during it.

So what's a loving couple to do? Fortunately, there's a satisfying alternative: sex without intercourse. This strategy requires some tactical adjustments, but it allows older lovers to enjoy fulfilling lovemaking for the rest of their lives.

Great sex minus intercourse involves the same leisurely, playful, whole-body caressing that sexuality authorities recommend to lovers of all ages. But with intercourse off the menu, it focuses instead on the many other ways couples can make love: hand massage, oral sex and toys — specifically dildos and vibrators for women, and penis sleeves for men.

Sex without intercourse means taking new paths to mutual pleasure. The footing may be unfamiliar at first, but hasn't novelty always been the key to sexual zing? If you embrace new moves you both enjoy with love and laughter, sex sans intercourse might even become the best you ever had. Here are a few pointers to help you scout out this new terrain:

Age-Related Sexual Changes
The biggest sexual issues women encounter after menopause are vaginal dryness and a decline in libido. A lubricant can minimize dryness, and even if desire fades in the early years of menopause, it may rebound later. Most postmenopausal women still enjoy partner sex and don't want to see it end.

Meanwhile, men past 50 typically lose the ability to get aroused from fantasies alone; physical stimulation becomes a prerequisite to an erection. (Erections may also be less firm and more, uh, precarious.) These changes are unnerving when you first notice them — which is the same time when some men conclude, erroneously, that they've reached the twilight of their sexual careers.

Even when these mechanics and dynamics make intercourse impossible, however, sex can remain remarkably fulfilling. Despite the changes that aging invariably brings, couples open to erotic alternatives will discover that they can still attain sexual satisfaction together.