She represents everything he doesn't think he deserves. He is the only one who really understands her pain. Will they bring each other more misery, or is there hope for something sweeter? Roy/Winry. Eventual M rating. Chapter 2 is up!

Hello!
This is my new Fullmetal Alchemist fic, the first I've written in
this fandom. Please be gentle with me! The basic reason that I
decided to write this story stemmed from my surprise at how few
Roy/Winry fics are out there.

Don't
get me wrong- I like Roy with Riza. It makes a lot of sense, and
seems more likely from a canon point of view. But in terms of
dynamics in the series (as opposed to the manga, which I can't vouch
for), there seems to be too much tension in the air between Roy and
Winry to disregard the idea completely. I guess you could say this is
my way of exploring their... issues. Isn't that what fan fiction is
for? : )

This
takes place in the series/movie universe, and doesn't necessarily
jive with the manga. I read 9 or 10 volumes of the manga, but that
was a few years ago. I'll be sticking to the world as portrayed in
the anime for the purpose of this story. Also, Winry's age may be off
by a year or two. I tried to be accurate, but I wasn't sure if she
was Ed's age or a year or two older. Please don't yell at me if I got
it wrong! Haha.

The
name of this story is taken from a song by U2. I don't own the song,
I don't own U2, and I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I owned any
of these things, I could probably afford to hire a scriptwriter to
write this fan fiction for me. But where's the fun in that?

Springtime
in Resembool was a riot of nature. Birds sang, flowers bloomed,
clouds drifted peacefully across the endless blue sky. The town was
known for the beauty of its rolling green fields and hillsides, and
most people who visited were even more eager to find some peace and
quiet than the actual residents.

Those
who passed through Resembool generally didn't make a point of
visiting the graveyard. In fact, few people outside the tiny country
town even knew it was there, and even the townspeople scarcely
realized the tragedy and significance the place represented in the
grand scheme of the nation's recent upheaval. Humanity had certainly
perfected the art form of being happily oblivious...

Winry
Rockbell sat quietly on a hillside directly overlooking the small,
unremarkable collection of graves. The sun was low in the western
sky, casting an orange glow over the hilltops and purple shadows into
the valleys below. It was the anniversary of her parents' death. How
long had it been now? twelve years? She had been eight years old when
they died...

The
terror and pain she had felt at that time were no longer fresh,
though the memory itself was clear enough. She could actually smile
now when visiting their graves, as she was sure they would wish her
to do. Sometimes she felt guilty for being able to do it. Should the
grief be allowed to fade, even after such a time? She wasn't sure,
but she usually felt at peace now when she thought of them. That
peace, however, was not complete. A few feet away from her parents'
graves was another, the resting place of Trisha Elric.

A
lump still formed in Winry's throat when her glance fell upon the
headstone of the long-dead woman. It wasn't because of her death, sad
though it had been. It as because of the disappearance from this
world of Edward and Alphonse Elric- Trisha's sons.

Winry
sighed, blonde hair fluttering around her face in the evening breeze.
It had been two years. She knew in her heart that Ed and Al weren't
dead, and that they would never have graves in any cemetery in this
world for her to mourn at. She didn't want
to mourn them. She was glad they were still living their lives
somewhere, that they were together. But that didn't stop her from
feeling the loss.

It
was maddening sometimes; almost as though they had been erased from
existence and the memories she carried were somehow false. Smiling
slightly as she rose to her feet, Winry realized that she now
understood to some extent how Al had felt in his metal shell when he
feared the origin and veracity of his own memories. But she was made
of flesh and blood, and her faith in her friends was still strong.
Even if the Elrics had left this world, at least she could keep them
alive in her heart and hope that they wouldn't forget her, either.

Walking
slowly down the hillside, Winry prepared to say goodnight to her
parents and head back to the house where Grandma Pinako was waiting.
The old woman certainly didn't like it when Winry spent so much time
at the graveyard, especially when it started getting dark out. As she
leaned down to lay a bouquet of wildflowers at the foot of the
graves, she caught sight of a dark figure out of the corner of eye.
Was Pinako...? No. Her Grandmother knew where she was, and wouldn't
come searching for her all the way out here even at this late hour.
Winry straightened, turning quickly to meet the approaching visitor
face to face.

The
figure stopped suddenly, as if not expecting to find her there. Winry
couldn't quite see the expression on the man's face with the setting
sun blazing behind him, but she knew who he was just the same.

Immediately
recognizable even from his silhouette alone, Winry would know Roy
Mustang anywhere- from the dark locks of hair laying across that
imposing eye patch all the way down to the shiny tips of his military
issue boots. Winry frowned slightly. She knew why he would be here,
of course she did, but that didn't make it any easier knowing that
she was standing at her parents' graves at the same time as the man
who had murdered them.

Winry
was still as he took another step forward, bringing his face into
clearer view. He looked pensive, mouth turned down slightly. His gaze
was initially drawn to the headstones beside her, one good eye rising
up to meet her shellshocked glance with some amount of effort. Winry
could sense a certain measure of pain in the man's expression, and
maybe just a dash of determination.

"Miss
Rockbell. I didn't expect to meet you here at this late hour. I'm
sorry if I've disturbed you." His attention shifted back to the
graves of her parents. Winry shook her head to clear her thoughts, no
longer frozen to the spot by the intensity of his expression.

"It's
alright. I guess I can understand why you would come here. I was just
leaving anyway." Saying a silent farewell to her parents, Winry
turned to go. She barely heard his reply, it was spoken with such
unfamiliar softness.

"You
don't have to leave."

Looking
over her shoulder, Winry watched as Roy slowly placed two
long-stemmed white flowers- lilies, perhaps- next to the colorful
bunch she had left before. He regarded the markers silently, not
seeming bothered by her presence behind him. Next, he took a few
steps to the left, repeating his actions with a similar flower for
Trisha Elric's grave. After a few moments of painfully silent
stillness, he turned to face her. He still had one white flower in
his hand. He held it toward her with almost a ghost of a smile on his
face. "I was planning on leaving this one for you, but since
you're here I might as well give it to you."

Spinning
around to face him fully, Winry frowned at his extended hand.
"Leaving it for me? I'm not
dead." The last light of the sun lit her blue eyes to a shining
midnight as it dropped below the horizon.

He
didn't shrink from her gaze, or retract his offering. "I know
that. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't pay my respects to you..."

...because
what I did to you was just as bad as what I did to them.

Those
were the unspoken words that were tangible in the air between them.
Relaxing from a tense stance she didn't even remember taking, Winry
accepted the flower. "I'm not sure if I'm supposed to say 'thank
you' or not."

Mustang
shrugged, looking at the ground. "So don't."

A
strange understanding passed between them as they stood in the newly
birthed starlight. In that moment, there was no animosity, no blame,
maybe even no guilt. Just two people standing in a graveyard, maybe
bruised but no longer bleeding. Life, however, is no fairy tale, and
the comfortable atmosphere didn't last long.

Winry
glanced down at the white flower, twisting the stem between her
fingers. "I really should go." There wasn't anything to
add, really. 'Have a nice night, good running into you' just didn't
seem to apply to this situation at all.

He
appeared next to her as she began to walk away. "Let me walk you
back, it's almost completely dark out."

She
was afraid he might say something like that.

Glancing
at him sidelong, Winry's eyes narrowed slightly. "I know the way
back. I really don't need an escort."

Roy
continued to look straight ahead as they walked, keeping pace as she
sped up her steps. His eyebrow quirked in irritation... or was it
amusement? "I'm well aware of that. Unfortunately we're going
the same direction, so I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

Of
course- she almost groaned- the train station was just a mile or so
beyond her house. He was probably catching the last train out of
town.

The
silence between them only aggravated her discomfort as she walked
next to him. Stealing another glance, she saw that his face
maintained a carefully neutral expression. Never had Winry known a
person who made her feel so... confused.

Roy
Mustang- was he a Colonel now, or a General? Not that it mattered.
Her feelings were the same whether he was a foot solder or a king.
Everything horrible that had happened in her life was directly
connected to him. It should be so easy to hate him, to blame him. But
she found that she really couldn't. And where did that leave her?

Remembering
back to the days before she knew the truth about him, she had really
admired him then. From the time he had come to Resembool after Ed and
Al's failed transmutation to her first few visits to Central... She
had respected him greatly, knowing that he had the Elric's best
interest in mind no matter how much Ed refused to admit it. She felt
that he was a person to be trusted, a person who deserved respect and
maybe even gratitude. Imagine her reaction when those
particular illusions were shattered...

She
hadn't even had to try to push those feelings from her mind when she
initially discovered that Mustang had killed her parents. Any feeling
other than loathing swiftly erased itself, to be replaced by purest
rage and disbelief that he could live with himself and be such an
arrogant individual after what he had done. This understandably
lasted for awhile, but as she began to understand his motivation,
watched him try even harder to protect the Elric brothers even when
they didn't want to be protected, risk his life trying to make things
right... those feelings began to return. They were in painful
conflict when matched against her losses, which she still felt- at
least to some extent- were his fault. Needless to say, seeing him
again after his role in sealing her two best friends in the other
world made Winry's stomach churn.

In
reality she knew he hadn't meant to do any of it, to take away the
people she loved. She didn't really blame him for Ed and Al at all,
not really, but she couldn't help but resent him for destroying the
gate. If only life were simpler so she could hate Roy Mustang the way
she was convinced she wanted to...

Winry
felt her companion slow beside her, wondering if perhaps he could
hear her thoughts. He stared off to the side of the road at a spot,
Winry realized, she knew well. Under a growth of meandering vines and
hidden from view by thick brush were the blackened remains of the
Elric house.

Roy
looked deep in thought as he viewed the empty shell of what was once
a happy home. Nature had certainly done a good job of reclaiming its
territory. Even Winry occasionally forgot to notice the overgrown
foundation. She was surprised his one eye way so keen in the growing
darkness that he could pick it out. The words she felt herself
speaking then were accidental, not meant to be voiced aloud.

"They're
really gone."

He
jerked his head around, looking startled, as if he had forgotten she
was there. He started to say something, but reconsidered at the last
moment. His pause was thoughtful. He actually looked somewhat... sad.
"Who knows? The Elrics aren't just anybody. If they crossed over
once maybe they can do it again." He shrugged once more, looking
at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Who
knows? I
do. They aren't coming back this time. Can't you feel it?"

Roy
started walking again, answering with an enigmatic smirk. "Nothing
is final. They aren't dead, I can feel that much. Beyond that...?"
He trailed off, leaving room for her to fill in the blanks as she
pleased.

"Are
you just trying to make me feel better because you feel guilty for
destroying the gate?" She stood in the middle of the road,
angrily staring at the back of his head. His answers sounded like an
evasion, an attempt to circumvent reality. He turned abruptly, taking
two long steps toward her.

"Should
I? I only did what Edward asked of me. I believe I owed him that
much." His visible eye was almost a cobalt grey in the reflected
darkness. She was drawn into his intent gaze. "Not everything
is my fault, Winry."

She
gasped at the sound of her name on his lips, whispered like an oath.
The tension between them was much thicker than the intervening foot
and a half of charged air. For a moment, she wasn't sure which way
was up, or why her heart was hammering in her chest.

...Oh,
that's right. It was probably because of the other
feelings she had for him all those years ago. The ones you could
easily classify as a school girl crush. Yes, even that
aspect of her former admiration reasserted itself at times. And what
words could express how wrong that seemed- being... attracted
to her parents' killer? And why, why
was she having such thoughts at a moment like this?

By
the time she recovered her senses, he was twenty feet away down the
road. She jogged to catch up, carefully sealing away even the
smallest inclination to have even a mild crush on this man. So busy
she was, putting her thoughts in check, that the silent remainder of
their walk was over before she knew it. Lights glowed warmly out of
the waiting house, now a mere fifty feet away.

At
the end of the driveway he stopped, giving a small bow. "I'd
best continue on. I don't want to miss the train to Central.
Goodnight, Miss Rockbell." His smile didn't meet his eyes, and
the thin veil of politeness didn't fool her. She hadn't meant to add
more guilt to the burden he was already carrying...

She
reached out and grasped his shoulder as he turned away. "I'm
sorry."

He
didn't look back. "You have nothing to apologize for. Take care
of yourself, OK?"

Winry
felt the sincerity of his words as she watched him disappear down the
shadowy road. "You too," she whispered. For awhile she
watched the spot where he had last been visible. Roy Mustang...
surely her relationship with this man would always be complicated.
But as she heard Grandma Pinako's voice calling from the house, Winry
realized she was grateful to the General for making her feel these
confused emotions. At times the reality of losing so many friends and
loved ones- her parents, Mr. Hughes, Ed and Al- made her feel a
little numb inside, just that little bit dead. Like they had each
taken a chunk of her with them to the afterlife or wherever it was
they had gone, and there was nothing left of her anymore.

If
nothing else, the wide-ranging kaleidoscope of things Winry felt when
she saw him proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that she was still
alive...

Well,
that's the end of chapter one. Sorry if it seemed to move a little
slow, but it was necessary to set up Winry's emotional state. In the
next installment hopefully we'll catch up with Roy in Central and see
what he's up to. What did he think of their encounter? Does he feel
guilty about destroying the gate to the other world? And most
importantly, is he going out with Riza? Hahaha, I don't know if
there's anybody out there interested in reading this, but if you are,
please leave a review!

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.