Plook just discovered that the sleaze in Caputh's moat is the perfect fuel for his snot rocket. Somehow he needs to drain that moat and deliver the sleaze to North Korea without Caputh or Trendmonger finding out, because Plook hates sharing the royalties.

Plook fears that his people might become Caputh's next scapegoats. Getting gassed in a Caputhian concentration camp is a fate worse than death. Just the thought of all those red beans and dairy products makes Plook want to hurl.

Someday someone will have the seemingly cruel task of having to tell Pope Jim that what he mistook for papal vestiges never were papal vestiges but, instead, transvestiges and that he has been in drag for years, and even worse, what he chose were Ru-Paul discards that even Ru wouldn't wear!

Pope Jim is constantly confusing his Pauls. He rang up Ron, summoning him for a risque revue at the Vatican and was marginally disappointed by the results. And when he bulled Rand to rewrite Corinthians, he was shocked by the inaccuracies.

_________________"I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly."

Plook got caught smoking in a DFW airport men's room last week. The cop on gaywatch (the shittiest assignment a cop can get) cut him a break after Plook failed the spelling test. He got the "Virginia" part right, but he couldn't remember which vowel went in "Slim." Not even after the cop gave him his pack back!

Houston. You have a problem. Plook's out there somewhere, drinking all the Lone Star and harassing your strippers. He's such a cheap tipper, always trying to slip dimes under their G-strings. Be on the lookout for a chain-smoking Anglo who looks like this: Taze on sight. Governor Perry wants to have a few words with him.

Plook called up his bookie in Vegas. He wanted odds on a spelling/grammar bee between him and Rick Perry, thinking to make a few bucks on the side. The bookie laughed and hung up on him. So Plook called a competitor, Hymie the Gleek. Same result. He called eight bookies in all, and none of them would touch it. "Shit," thought Plook, "I better buy a damn dictionary. I know Rick Perry won't think of that."

FalseDichotomy completely missed out on the new fad, the need for a not so secret basement with international tunnels to have a place in the struggle for world domination...he's headed to Home Depot this weekend to buy supplies, he will not be left out of Basement Wars...

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