Extrovert, introvert, or ambivert?

Which tendency do you have? How do you cope with being around a raging version of the alternate? Do you think organizations who hire equate being a good employee to being an extrovert?

I ask this because I was recently at a company conference that felt more like a frat party. The company leaders kept using the words “high energy” people to define what they look for in their company. Are most jobs that serve the public in some capacity in need of someone that could be the star of a 3am infomercial/those guys that shout at you? or are introverts just as powerful for their thoughts and productivity?

Ugh that conference sounds like a nightmare. Some people are more influential than others, but it doesn’t mean that everyone doesn’t have something to bring to the table. I don’t like the way extroverts are assumed to be good sales people while introverts are better suited to become accountants.

People interact differently with one another, even though stereotypes tell us that extroverts are needed for ‘high energy’ results, they can often just as well turn people off.

I think organizations who hire based solely on personality and the assumed output that said candidate would perform are limiting themselves. For myself, I didn’t even know what am ambivert was – but after googling it, I think that’s pretty much where I fall.

@mamajoy thank you for validating me! It was a nightmare for me. yeah, I think sometimes companies conflate being extroverted with being likable. I think maybe it feels like there are more extroverts in the world than extroverts because the extroverts want to make themselves known to others. They draw their energy from being around people. It is important not to discount the high productivity and wisdom of extroverts, though!

I’m not sure I can answer the company stuff, but man, I just exist around extroverts. They drain my energy. Not sure I have ever learned how to cop, just exist. I’m an introvert, I think. I mean, if you get me on the topic of wrestling or superheroes, I can talk up a storm. I barely exist at any other point.

@yin thats exactly what happens to me. I feel drained, exhausted, annoyed, and sometimes sullen after being around them. It feels like there is no balance. To be honest, I am not even sure how emotionally healthy it is. I read that if a person talks 70 percent of the time that they may have conversational narcissism or that they may be afraid of true connection with another human> I also read that if they talk for more than seven minutes you should ask If you can talk?

@Scarlett2 If I haven’t accidentally cut someone off within seven minutes of them talking, I’m not sure I even want to talk to them anyway, lol. I have noticed an issue I have where I mistake a slight pause for an opening for me to talk when the other person has a bit more to say. Sometimes it is where I know they have more to say, but there is that slight opening and my mouth just goes. I feel like a jerk each time. This is when talking to friends though. Everyone else, I’m one of the quietest people. I’m the person that people keep joking “you talk to much” to. Classic, that one…

@five2one all this happened before I had to do a presentation, and my presentation actually went incredibly well despite being around a lot of loud people who were drinking the night before. I,myself, choose not to drink.

I was an extrovert most of my life. But age and experience has turned me into an ambivert. I don’t need the violent jolt of being around lots of people to feel alive anymore. In fact, I hate it. I feel over whelmed and tired around people now. I hate most of the people I have to interact with on a daily basis and I adjust. I crave solace, nature, music, peace, wine, my writing, reading and my pug. Nothing fills or lifts me beyond that.

If I am in a room with high energy people, I get quiet. I become the quiet introvert. I have been to meetings that try to bring out the extroverted personalities. Sure they are great for sales, but they turn me off. That meeting sounds like a nightmare.

I was once married to an extrovert type who pushed me into EST and Lifesprings courses to try to bring the “inner me” out and bring out some self awareness in me. It backfired. Instead of applying myself to be more outgoing and remember people’s names, I faced why I was an introvert and that I cannot remember names because that person doesn’t mean enough to me — to even bother to remember their name. I came out of those long classes and seminars knowing how I am and accepting it. I don’t “sell”. I don’t want other people to change what they are, or what they do. I don’t intend to change. Being married to an extrovert is exhausting. The only motivational person that made me want to get with the program was Zig Zigler. I liked his way of using his time productively. I also adopted his idea of answering when a person asks, “How are you doing?” —— I get energetic and answer “GREAT!!! And you?”

My partner now, he is a mixture. He is quiet until he is ready to share his opinion. But, get him into a family gathering and he is Mr. Charisma. I often stand back and think, “Who is this man?” He is whatever the situation calls for him to be. I love to hear him talk and tell stories of bygone days. I could listen for hours. My partner is balanced. I like that. My family thinks he is Mr. Wonderful. They love him.