Thursday, August 2, 2012

Fred Willard has
always been one of my favorites. I first
became a fan while watching the talk show parody “Fernwood 2 Night” (which
later changed its title to “America 2-Night”) on Nick at Nite with my
brother.

Martin Mull, who
played the host of the fictional late night talk show, was so funny, truly
great, but Fred Willard was, if possible, even better. Perfect.
He was mine and my brother’s favorite part of the already hysterical
show.

Fred Willard has
shown his amazing comedic talents in everything he’s been in. He was my favorite part of “A Mighty Wind,”
and I loved that entire movie and every song.
I even faithfully watched a show that no one else saw, called “Maybe
It’s Me,” simply because Fred Willard played the dad. He was, of course, hilarious in the role.

Obviously, I’m
writing about Fred Willard at this time because he was recently arrested for
“engaging in a lewd act” at Tiki Theatre in California. Now, it is no surprise that people go to Tiki
Theatre to watch porn and masturbate.
That is known.

So why would
cops waste their valuable time arresting someone who may have been masturbating
at a porn theater? Don’t they have
better things to do, real crimes to investigate?

Yes, I know that
under California Penal Code 647, it is against the law to publicly engage in lewd
acts. Presumably such a law is in place to
protect the larger public from being subjected to such a lewd act. However, is a porn theater really considered
a public place where lewd acts would be offensive to those in such a venue?

Anyone who is
offended by someone masturbating likely would not go to a theater that shows
porn. Whether Mr. Willard did or did not
“engage in a lewd act” at the theater (and given that no one else was arrested,
the only lewd act that comes to mind is masturbation), is not important. He was at a porn theater. Who cares if he was masturbating? Isn’t that what people do at porn theaters? Or should do, at any rate?

Police arresting
someone masturbating at a porn theater reminds me of my jobs in the sex
industry, where there’s frequently the nervous undercurrent of fear of an
undercover cop showing up and busting everyone.

But that should
not be a fear. Voluntary sex work,
especially in the controlled indoor venues where I’ve worked, should be
legalized. No one in the public space is
affected, for the sex all happens indoors.

Anyone paying to
attend a sex party knows that they are likely to see sex acts performed, and
most people expect to actually participate.
They may not realize that we girls are paid to have sex with the party
attendees, but it doesn’t matter. No one
is harmed by what goes on at these parties.
There is no reason for me and the other girls to have to worry that we could
be arrested merely for having sex for money.

Likewise, anyone
should lawfully be able to freely masturbate in a porn theater. The movies
shown in a porn theater would not be shown at your corner AMC theater. And the customers at a porn theater understand
that – they are paying for porn.

Somehow this
country’s laws need to evolve when it comes to matters of sex.

Regardless, Fred
Willard, the gifted comedian, will now likely always have this pointless and
stupid arrest tied to his name, even if he is later cleared. Truly, I’m ashamed that he was arrested for
something so ridiculous, something that should not even be a crime.