Masterstroke

Love in your hands

Hands up if you think you’re good in bed. can you make a girl come without taking your trousers off while telling her how hot she is? It’s a skill that womankind will thank you for over and over again. “Fingering” isn’t the nicest word in the sex dictionary, but if you are good at it, a woman will know that you are a master of the carnal arts. Deploy your hands across all areas of her body, and both of you will reap the rewards.

The Scenario

You’re kissing but she seems bored.What she’s thinking: This is a bit stale, shame he can’t shake it up a little.

Where you put your hands during a kiss can make or break the experience. Sometimes it’s not your mouth or tongue that sends quivers down her spine, but the location of your hands. Try sliding them up and down her sides.

How can you assess whether it’s the right time for a fast, furious approach? As you’re kissing or touching, speed it up just a little or apply a firmer touch—if she responds by pushing back at you harder, grabbing your behind just as firmly and pressing her lips hard against yours, then she’s feeling just as sexually rowdy. But if you don’t get that response, she remains soft in your arms, then she’s not ready for that level of touch yet. Take your time, keep touching her gently, maybe even pull away for a bit to tease her and get her revved up.

You’ve got your hand between her legs and now you’re not sure where to put your fingers, so you put them inside.What she’s thinking: Play with my lips.

Her clitoris isn’t just that little nub you can see, it extends several centimetres inside her vagina—not down the vaginal canal where you put your penis but around the outer lips (labia majora) in two “arms”. Stroke her vaginal lips from the bottom to the top, using several fingers at once; use one moistened finger to trace inside the outer lips, then inside the inner lips; use the palm of your hand on the entire lip area, rubbing gently. And hold the entire vulva in your hand with your palm on her pubic bone and your fingers facing down, covering her vaginal lips. Gently massage the area as though it were a soft, overripe furry peach that you’d like to squeeze just a little juice out of.

Your fingers are inside her, so you work at it with the tips of your fingers trying to get deeper because you think she’ll like it. What she’s thinking: I can’t feel that.

Only the outer third of the vagina has many nerve endings, deeper inside there’s virtually no sensation at all, so your efforts deep down inside won’t be having all that much effect. If you are too rough, it might hurt. You can, however, try to stimulate her G-spot, a bundle of nerves about two inches up the front wall of her vagina. It doesn’t do the trick for all women, but try rubbing your finger over the area, or pressing down on it gently. And don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t have the desired effect of helping her to orgasm—instead, focus your fingers’ attention to the first inch or so of her vaginal canal where she has more sensation.

In the warm-up to penetrative sex and even the first few moments of it, you’re very hands-on, massaging breasts, squeezing her behind and so on, but as soon as you get close to climax, your hands turn to stone. The trouble is, she’s probably getting close to orgasm at this point and needs the extra stimulation of your hands on her breasts or her behind. Keep touching her body throughout sex. It lets her know you’re still finding her body a turn-on, and it will help her reach orgasm herself.

Your hands move over her body, but she keeps moving them away when you get near the top of her thighs.What she’s thinking: Are his hands clean?

A dirty fingernail or unwashed hand can give her a bladder infection. Keep your hands and fingernails clean at all times—use a scrubbing brush to get under your fingernails, and use hot soapy water. And wash them after you pee, too. Good grooming is important for a very good reason. The way you look after your hands says a lot to her about your overall hygiene and if you want her to imagine her hands on you with a smile on her face, you better make sure you scrub up.