To be cross that my 14 yr old daughter moans about me to EX

I have an antagonistic EX, which I can't change, but my relationship with my daughter is not being helped by this, and I do value a good relationship with her. It seems like it is slipping away.

My daughter overall have a good relationship, but she's been increasingly moaning to her Dad, my EX, every single time I've done something she doesn't like. He lives some way away and doesn't see her that often.

I have tried to go no contact with EX as he just rants at me on a regular basis. Any 'bad gossip' from my daughter get included which I find quite hurtful.

I did recently ask my daughter to take her moans to me so we can sort it out, as telling her Dad just fuelled the fire. She has been telling me that her Dad is fine about me, and that I am difficult about him. I've never moaned about him to her, but I have said that he does rant at me which I don't know, and that is why we are not friends.

She's only 14, but I am feeling cynical. I do all the non glamorous parenting, the homework etc, the discipline. I took a step back from my career to be around more for her, and tried to be a good boundaried parent.

She never moans to me about her Dad, as he can do no wrong in her eyes. Increasingly she just wants to spend any holidays with him because he does everything she wants. Sigh!

They get to be Disney Dad, while you do all the Grunt Work of parenting. I think as they get older they can see through a lot of this stuff. My DD at 18 has not many illusions about her knob of a father, though I try not to moan about him in her presence