The Wrestling Bazaar: NWA/TNA Weekly PPV #8

We open with Goldilocks in the back with the Dupps and Apolo. They are outside Ricky Steamboat’s office, but nothing is said.

Match One: Amazing Red/Joel Maximo/Jose Maximo vs. Sonny Siaki/Jorge Estrada/Jimmy Yang
Red and the Maximos are known as the Spanish Announce Team (SAT). Tenay explains that the Spanish announce table always gets destroyed during WWE events- the SATs are here to protect that announce team. That’s just ridiculous. The SATs attack in unison immediately but the Elvises quickly use their size advantage to take over. Red tries to come at Siaki with some flying kicks but Siaki overpowers him. Despite the teased tension in recent weeks, the Elvises work really well together in the opening minutes. Siaki works the power game while Estrada and Yang showcase the flashy stuff like a springboard moonsault- that’s a good game plan. Triple powerbomb by the Elvises! Soon enough though, Siaki tries to be the center of attention by brushing the other two away and taking control. West chimes in with one of his most intelligent lines to date, “Siaki just wants to be a one-man show.” The SATs finally take over when Estrada and Yang leave to the announce table, frustrated. Estrada does an Elvis impersonation, making fun of Siaki getting beat up in the ring. Meanwhile, the SATs do an innovative spot where one Maximo applies a Mexican surfboard while the other puts in a dragon sleeper. Red finishes the spot with a double-foot stomp off the top rope. Yang goes back to the apron for help, but Siaki rejects it. Siaki connects with an uppercut out of desperation and begins to take back control, but quickly loses it when he tries for a high risk move. The Maximos block the attempt and come down with a double superplex they call the Spanish Fly. Red then connects with a corkscrew moonsault called the Infra Red. Estrada and Yang break up the sure win cover attempt and unload on the SATs. Things get more competitive when Siaki is out of the picture and it’s only down to Estrada and Yang against the SATs. In a really cool spot, Estrada reverses a Spanish Fly attempt into a double DDT off the top rope. Finish comes when Estrada and Yang hit a combination leg drop/big splash off the top rope. Siaki comes in and steals the pin. Winner: Sonny Siaki/Jorge Estrada/Jimmy Yang in 12:00Rating: *** (Great story to the match with Siaki trying to take on the SATs by himself and coming up short. The Elvises’ storyline was actually really well-done, setting up Siaki as a possible TNA main eventer down the road. However, it felt a little less unique with the similar Lynn/Styles storyline going on at the same time.)

At ringside, Mike Tenay, Don West and Ed Ferrara run down tonight’s card, which they bill as a triple main event. Tenay then sends it to a sit-down interview he had earlier today with Apolo. Gotta love these…

Apolo seems antsy and wants to get to the point of the interview. He has lost respect for Ricky Steamboat because he gave Ron Killings the title shot that Apolo was promised. Steamboat is a corrupt man.

In the back, Apolo wants to talk to Ricky Steamboat- now. Steamboat is a very busy man and doesn’t want to deal with this “now” crap. The Dupps then enter the picture and try to have a word with Steamboat, but he will have none of it. All of a sudden, Jerry Lynn runs through a door and attacks AJ Styles. TNA is cuh-razy!

In the ring, JB introduces Ricky Steamboat. As he makes his way to the ring, the Dupps run him down with a proposition. What that is, I don’t know, but Steamboat approves it.

At ringside, Tenay, West and Ferrara put over Ron Killings and point him out as the first black man to win the NWA World Heavyweight Championship.

Meanwhile, Ricky Steamboat heads to the ring and calls out Apolo. Apolo cannot run around like a maniac anymore. However, Steamboat will give Apolo a title shot- he has earned it…

Wait a damn minute! Jeff Jarrett comes out. For weeks, he has waited patiently for his title shot. Now, the answer has become as white as his skin. What we have here is a case of reverse discrimination. Just because he isn’t black, Puerto Rican or Hawaiian, he has been denied an opportunity. Steamboat says the bullshit ends tonight- Apolo vs. Jeff Jarrett, winner gets a shot at Killings. Steamboat is the special guest referee. They sure have managed to fit in a bunch of race wars in eight weeks.

Oh no, Disco Inferno is back for some more Jive Talkin’. This time, the set (some ugly couches) is gone, replaced with “Jive Talkin” written on the back of a chalkboard. Disco does not approve. Before much of anything is said, the Dupps come out. They are here to announce the first Dupp Cup Invitational. This will be the new Hardcore Division in TNA. The rules are written on the front of the chalkboard:

Stan Dupp takes off his shirt to reveal a picture of Goldilocks. He then challenges Disco to a match under these rules. Disco rejects and Paulina from Tough Enough comes out for some reason. Stan then says if anyone can beat him in this type of match, they will get one night with Fluff Dupp. Ed Ferrara accepts…

Match Three: The Dupps vs. Ed Ferrara
Ferrara slaps JB in the face for a quick 2½ points. He then pinches poor Don West’s ass for 3½ more. JB then jumps on Ferrara’s back at ringside. Ferrara throws him over the barricade and heads into the ring. Stan and Bo both get a chair from the crowd and hit Ferrara for 2 points total. Stan hits Ferrara with a fan’s shoe and Bo hits with a cup of water for 2 more. Stan grabs an old lady’s walker and hits for another point. 6 to 5 Ferrara. On the entrance stage, Stan hits Ferrara with “Jay,” a blow-up doll, for 2½ points. Bo is in the back with Sarah the ticket lady. She stops any attack by hitting him with a broom. Riveting stuff. Paulina low blows Stan and hits him with the chalkboard. Meanwhile, Ferrara spears Bo at ringside and hits him three times with a chair. They call it 8 to 7½ Ferrara. Wait, shouldn’t it be 9 to 7½? Oh, I forgot to mention, who cares? In the ring, Ferrara hits Bo with Horsey Poo, but he likes it, so Ferrara loses 2½ points. 7½ to 5½ Dupps. Ferrara brings in a table, but gets chokeslammed through it to give the Dupps the win- 10½ to 5½. Winner: The Dupps in 6:00Rating: N/A (I’m all for comedy wrestling every once in a while, but that wasn’t funny. It also wasn’t wrestling. So, by my point system, they lose 0-2.)

Man, Mike Tenay was a busy man “earlier today.” He managed to squeeze in another one of his famous sit-down interviews- this time with Monty Brown. Brown runs down a list of his football accomplishments and details his road to becoming a pro wrestler. He seems nervous and slightly uncomfortable. I don’t want to blame Tenay’s cool sunglasses, but he does look like a creeper. Brown goes on to downplay the “they” thing Killings has been talking about. This leads to Elix Skipper coming out of nowhere and attacking him with a bucket of yellow paint.

Match Four: First Blood Match- Malice vs. Don Harris
This stipulation stems from the blood baptizing the New Church gave Harris last week. Harris comes out to a cover of “War Pigs” which still doesn’t trump the Church’s theme. As expected, they brawl around ringside and into the crowd. In the process, we get our first great shot of the huge yellow and red “Concessions” sign that would go on to become a quirky image for many more matches at the Asylum. On the entrance stage, Harris blocks a powerbomb attempt and launches Malice off into a barricade. Slash interferes, but Harris disposes of him quickly. Malice regroups and finds a steel chair as Harris takes out James Mitchell. Back in the ring, Harris drops Malice with a side slam. Seconds later, Harris is bleeding rather unexplainably. Match over. Winner: Malice in 6:00Rating: ½* (Talk about paper skin; I have no idea what caused the blood to flow. I actually like both guys involved, but this was just awful. Eight weeks in, TNA has taken what was a pretty cool sight in the late nineties- main event crowd brawling- and overdone it all throughout the card.)

In the back, Goldilocks is looking for Taylor Vaughn. Instead, she gets Sonny Siaki, who is looking for Ricky Steamboat. Exit Siaki; enter Miss TNA Bruce, who challenges Vaughn to an evening gown match. Then, out of nowhere, AJ Styles and Low Ki start brawling. Yup, all in one segment folks.

Match Five: Apolo vs. Jeff Jarrett
Ricky Steamboat is your referee. That man is all over this show. Match starts out slowly with two collar and elbow tie ups. Steamboat plays the fair ref role, not allowing either man to use a closed fist. Apolo takes over and is about to hit a high risk move to the outside off the top rope, but Steamboat doesn’t let him. Apolo stays one step ahead of Jarrett, counter what he throws at him. Jarrett eventually finds an opening after busting Apolo open by tossing him into the steel steps. He tries to deliver the finishing blow with a steel chair but Steamboat snatches it from him. Apolo appears to get some life back after kicking out of an enzuigiri, but ends up in the tree of woe after Jarrett cuts him off in the corner. Steamboat does not let Jarrett take advantage of Apolo’s compromising position. The opportunistic Jarrett doesn’t let that deter him as he attacks the knee, setting up a figure four leglock. Apolo turns it around but Jarrett reaches the ropes. Apolo gets his second wind, but his tornado DDT puts them both down. Back up, Apolo attacks with clotheslines and tries to get the crowd behind him with mounted punches. He connects with a super kick but Jarrett is able to get a rope break on two. Then the match just ends when Apolo hits a bridging German suplex- both men’s shoulders are down during the count but Jarrett gets his up at two for the win. Winner: Jeff Jarrett in 10:00Rating: **1/2 (Good match. Jarrett, a stone cold heel, was over with the crowd as a face. I guess it’s a Nashville thing. The finish kind of confused everyone though.)

Post-match, Ricky Steamboat gets on the mic and says Jeff Jarrett gets the Truth, just as he promised. However, he never said it would be for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. This goes over poorly as the crowd actually chants “Steamboat sucks!” Jarrett gets Truth…as his tag team partner next week when they challenge AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn for the NWA Tag Team Championship.

Match Six: Evening Gown Match- Taylor Vaughn vs. Bruce
Thank God, because I didn’t get enough of this great stuff last week. Bruce comes out with a blonde wig ala Goldust. He has on a red evening gown and Vaughn has a black one. As bad as this whole thing is, I must hand it to Vaughn, he takes the two wrestling moves in this match- a vertical suplex and a front mat slam- like a pro. Match ends when Bruce slowly takes off Vaughn’s gown after a front mat slam.Winner: Bruce in 2:00Rating: N/A (Okay, I hope they got this out of their system.)

Post-match, Bruce takes off his gown to show off some very revealing lingerie. T&A is not sexist.

Hell yes! We get another edition of Don West’s HSN-inspired ULTRA HARD SELL for next week’s show. I wonder how much oxygen-loss was in vein when no one bought the next show. Or this show for that matter.

Post-match, AJ Styles attacks Jerry Lynn in the ring and Jeff Jarrett gets into it with Ron Killings in the back. Great, so for next week’s tag match, the team members of both teams will be at odds with one another.

The 411: What a frustrating show. It is the kind of show you really want to enjoy that gets sabotaged by unnecessary doses of stupidity. With a good opener, a great main event and two major title changes, this should be an easy recommendation. However, when you have cringe-worthy stuff like the Dupp Cup, Jive Talkin’ and a male vs. female Evening Gown match mixed in, it is very hard to call this a “good” show. In spite of that, PPV #8 is the best TNA show up to this point.