How do I make visitors laugh at the expense of my kitty?November 28, 2007 8:59 AMSubscribe

I need a funny saying for a sign that will go in a window. It will hang over my fat cat, who hardly moves. I know you guys can come up with something great.

I have a fat white cat. He sits on a large footrest that is in front of a window all day. The window is right next to the front door. I'd like to put up a sign over the cat that visitors can see. Something funny. They always notice the cat, and I'd like to make them laugh. The cat is very happy. He's just old, lazy and arthritic. He's on meds, and is spoiled rotten, and is perfectly content gazing out the window all day, taking breaks only to eat and poop. Help me exploit this. Thanks!!

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Beware of Cat.posted by blue_beetle at 9:14 AM on November 28, 2007

If this was your cat, you'd be home by now!

Beware of Fat Cat who Doesn't Move Very Often and is Actually Pretty Nice

oh hai i haz gravitee well

Please laugh at the cat.

Or, how about just a sign with the cat's name and a big arrow? I always like to know the names of funny neighborhood cats, and a sign that acknowledges that the cat never moves would make me laugh.posted by ulotrichous at 9:15 AM on November 28, 2007 [21 favorites]

I hung a little art plaque over my cat's water fountain for inspiration (hers, not mine); it's a Native American proverb that reads "After dark, all cats are leopards." She's old and naps a lot and I like to imagine that when she's sleeping, she's having wild kitty dreams where she's a master hunter and the Queen of All She Surveys.

Put up a recursive picture of the cat sitting where he always does with a picture of himself sitting where he always does with a picture etc etc. Maybe label it NOT LOST.posted by moift at 9:30 AM on November 28, 2007 [5 favorites]

"His amiable amber eyes
Are very friendly, very wise;
Like Buddha, grave and fat,
He sits, regardless of applause,
And thinking, as he kneads his paws,
What fun to be a cat!" --Christopher Morley

"A cat's eyes are windows enabling us to see into another world." - Irish Legend

There are people who reshape the world by force or argument but the cat just lies there, dozing, and the world quietly reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience." --Alan and Ivy Doddposted by Sassyfras at 9:30 AM on November 28, 2007 [4 favorites]

Use a different line from the poem every day (at least of the refrain- she sits and sits and sits and sits). The literary passers-by will eventually get it.posted by nax at 2:17 PM on November 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

Jabba the Hutt lines? "Bring me Solo and the Wookie. They will all suffer for this outrage"posted by greenskpr at 3:12 PM on November 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'd shy away from signs implying he needs a home or a companion.

My wife suggests a sign like the ones at zoos specifying species, map of habitat, foods, and so on.posted by sebastienbailard at 3:48 PM on November 28, 2007 [2 favorites]

"Old Deuteronomy lies on the floor
Of the fox and French Horn for his afternoon sleep;
And when the men say: `There's just time for one more,'
then the landlady from her back parlour will peep
And say: `Now then, out you go, by the back door,
For Old Deuteronomy mustn't be woken -
I'll have the police if there's any uproar' -
And out they all shuffle, without a work spoken."posted by notashroom at 6:03 PM on November 28, 2007

I flubbed this one. That should have been, "If Tiberius were a cat, so Tiberius would have sat." I don't recall the correct attribution for the quote and the only Google result is from me.

I got it from a book of cat-related quotes I saw once, and it stuck with me because we had a cat named Tiberius at the time (hence the misquote, as my mother began saying it to the cat paraphrased the way I wrote it above).posted by notashroom at 7:47 AM on November 30, 2007

I've started. Here's the first sign. I'll change them weekly. I've had a few visitors already and they love it. Thanks so much for all your help! (kitty photos)posted by Alpenglow at 11:21 AM on December 6, 2007 [6 favorites]

You have given us a great gift.posted by agregoli at 3:24 PM on December 6, 2007

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