I lived in New Orleans for 7 years, so I can’t pretend to be totally objective here. And while I’m sure Minneapolis is a fine city (I love the Replacements! And the Hold Steady!) the fact that they plan on hosting a Super Bowl there is a terrible, terrible mistake.

Here are 8 reasons the Super Bowl should be in the Crescent City every year.

1. Weather

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

I have never been to Minneapolis in winter time, but from what I understand, it gets cold there. Very, very cold. Like penguins and snow and ice cold.

New Orleans, it very rarely gets cold. It snowed one time when I lived there, and they shut the city down because everyone agreed 30 degrees was too freezing to function. It was adorable.

A Super Bowl is a destination, so why not make the destination somewhere to give everyone a break from winter? The sun will be shining, people will be happy. This is easy.

2. Transportation

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Know what was fun about taking shuttle buses 30-40 minutes both ways to the stadium at the NY/NJ Super Bowl? Nothing. It was incredibly stupid. New Orleans is one of the most walkable cities in America, and the Super Bowl is downtown. You don’t need to rent a car.

You take a cab from the airport at the beginning of the weekend and a cab back. That’s it. The rest of the time you’re on foot, and the weather is beautiful too, so you don’t mind. If you want to ride a streetcar to make a memory, do it. This isn’t hard!

3. Hotels

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

A Super Bowl city should prepared to handle a massive influx of tourists with enough hotel rooms to put them up. New Orleans has that, because it hosts Mardi Gras every year, a party so big it makes the Super Bowl seem like a weekend pickup game.

This city is built to host big parties. They’ve got more hotel rooms than they know what to do with. Bring your fanbases, bring extra fans who can’t even fit in the stadium. Have them bring all their friends. There will still be hotel rooms available.

4. Food

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I’m sure Minneapolis has its fair share of excellent restaurants. One of my co-workers just informed me about Juicy Lucy, and it sounds greasy and fun.

But give me a break. You aren’t topping NOLA when it comes to food. Can’t get a table at August? OK then go to Cochon. No room at Cochon? Emeril’s is a short walk. Not your style? Camelia Grill is Uptown and perfect. Want a poboy instead? Domilise’s is just down the road. Not working for you? Frankie and Johnny’s is right there, too. It doesn’t matter how much good food you think you can eat in New Orleans. There’s more to find.

5. Bars

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The Super Bowl is a party, and NOLA hosts parties better than anyone. There isn’t a last call. There are few rules. Rob Ryan is probably out at Ms. Mae’s buying everyone drinks RIGHT NOW as you read this. Is it 2 in the afternoon? IT DOESN’T MATTER.

6. People

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The locals know how to throw a party, they know how to host a party, and they can deal with a bazillion tourists showing up all at once. They relish it. I’m sure the people of Minneapolis are as nice as anyone in America, but they haven’t dealt with 30,000 Bears or Packers or Ravens or Patriots or Jets fans descending on them all at once. That’s a regular Friday for a New Orleans resident.

7. The food a second time

8. Entertainment

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

The Super Bowl is on Sunday, but fans traveling to the city should have something to do on Friday and Saturday night other than destroy their hotel bar. New Orleans has Bourbon St. for the depraved, Frenchman St. for the music fans, Magazine St. for the shoppers, City Park for lovers of the outdoors. You’ll see better live music on a random Thursday night in NOLA than you will in a month in another city.

9*. The unpredictability

(*Special unpredictable ninth reason.) Who wants a boring old Super Bowl every year where everything goes to plan? NY/NJ was cold, it was a pain to get to, but once there, everything went off without a hitch.

WHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT? New Orleans, sweet, corrupt, inefficient New Orleans, will liven things up. It is a city perfectly built to host a Super Bowl and just incompetent enough to make something hilarious happen every year. Boom:

Mark J. Rebilas, USA TODAY Sports

There you have it. New Orleans has the hotels, the food, the entertainment, the infrastructure, the people, and the slight touch of incompetence needed to host an amazing Super Bowl. Quit the charade, stop moving the thing around, and make it happen there every year.

New Orleans lost in its bid to host Super Bowl LII when the NFL awarded the 2018 Super Bowl to the city of Minneapolis on Tuesday. (…)

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