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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Thaaat's right! The one where Wreckerators wrestle with the seemingly simple "Congratulations."

For some reason, various unholy alliances of the words "graduation" and "congratulations" keep popping up:

"Gratulation"

"Gradulation"

"Congraduations"

(Your soul dies a little more with each one of these, doesn't it?)

"Whatever this says."

"Happy Graduations"?!?

Oh. Wait. Actually, that's almost correct. I wonder if someone forgot the "L."

There's a theory floating around that some of these word mash-ups are intentional; a "cute" misspelling to save the decorator from writing out the overly long and excessively complicated "congratulations graduate."

To this I say: [rude noise].

Good grief, people, you're celebrating an educational achievement! This is not the time for "cutesy" misspellings! So just write out "Congrats" and be done with it! That's not so hard, is it?!?

Excuse me. [sound of head hitting desk repeatedly] This may be a while.

In the meantime, enjoy your cake with the bottle of urine/beer on it.(Either way, someone's getting pissed.)(Because in Britain "pissed" = "drunk." See? I'm even funny in different languages.*)

Oh, lovely, looking at those cakes when I'm having to host a graduation party tomorrow with about 100 graduates and family members. However, I will get a cake with NO writing on it to keep from being represented on this web site!

I worked as a decorator in a grocery store bakery and I cannot tell you how many times the order taker would fill in these requests as 'congradulations'. Luckily I knew to fix it. Then one day the order taker walks by and sees me making it correctly and asks if I am spelling it right! The educational system these people are 'gradulating' from!!

A couple weeks ago, I got to read through Scholarship application essays for high school seniors at Unnamed High School. All I have to say is God help those of us who still know the English language and how to use it appropriately.

What I read was horrific. The district superintendent and I discussed the problems afterwards and I wasn’t very kind about the issue. I don’t care how good UHS’s standardized test scores are, kids need to be learning how to spell, properly punctuate a sentence, and properly format a formal paper for life in the real working world. I don’t think they even know how to use the flippin’ spell/grammar/usage check that comes with MS Word.

I had a headache after reading through the garbage; and my teenager said if he was grading papers, he would have failed 75% of them.

All Cake Wrecks fans would like the movie "Spellbound," which is a documentary about the National Spelling Bee. When one young contestant wins the regional round of the competition, her hometown Hooters restaurant (yes, Hooters) posts a sign saying, "Congradulations Alma."* Now nobody can deny that Hooters values good spelling.

*Maybe her name wasn't Alma. It's been a few years since I saw the movie. But I couldn't forget the "Congradulations."

I had to spell Congratulations on a cookie yesterday, and I made VERY SURE that I spelled it correctly. And I agree about the school system. I have worked with several high school students in the last few years and all they had to do was file. They don't know how to spell or even know their ABC's, and these kids were the "Best of the Best" that were allowed to work with our office. That's scary....that's our future????

I work at a newspaper and used to handle all the birthdays/weddings/engagement notices that came in for what were then free postings. I saw "congradulations" more times than I saw "congratulations" in those messages. I always corrected them and hoped people realized their mistake.

Dear Jen, as I try to reach the end of an academic goal (and I'm afraid there is no "congraduations" cake waiting for me...), you provide me with one means of procrastination. And for that I have been a loyal reader for quite a long time, as I've been "studying" for quite some time. But you make procrastination all the harder when the posts first appear at 9:30 (EST?). You see, for those of us on the "other side of the pond," that means the AFTERNOON. Not even "right after lunch procrastination time" afternoon, but actually right at the "after lunch procrastination time is over, so now I should actually be working time". Now, as a life-time enrolled student, I appreciate sleeping in more than anyone, but I suspect you don't have German punctuality and are actually setting everything up to just be automatically posted at exactly 9:30 EST. So, could you help out a loyal reader in their procrastination and set up that automatic posting time to a be a bit earlier so that the procrastination may commence a bit earlier? I have now banned myself from all the usual websites and facebook to finish my thesis, and your site is one of the few "allowed" ones -- what else am I to do during my lonely mornings?All the thanks in any case for this great service to humanity -- I'm sure we're all slowly improving our spelling one day at a time! :D

What a shame. That one undecipherable cake was really pretty--until they put a swirling airbrushed brown VORTEX on it. Is it a black hole sucking down the word? is it supposed to mesmerize (wreckerator version: memorize) the viewer? I liked the flowers and vines otherwise.

Anyhoo, I think it says something like this: ConGoadulaliona (without the dot on the i)

Still, WTF does THAT mean?

Ashley's cake...did she have a problem with drinking in school and she finally graduated? was she a chemistry major? why do the beakers have to have urine yellow and poo brown contents? THAT ARE SPELLING OUT HER CAKE INSCRIPTION by the way.

I know! maybe she's a graduating wreckerator! And she had to learn how to make poo brown and urine yellow icing, hence the inscription creeping out of the beakers.

I love that although there are strange misspellings going on, at least the script is nicely done in *most* of them! As if that makes up for the errors.... but imagine how pretty they would have been if written correctly! ;)

Julie319 - I was just ranting about this yesterday. I work in customer service answering emails and it appears that no one knows how to put together a coherent sentence any more. My parents live in a small town (300 people) and received a letter from the town stating that their water/sewer/garbage bill was going up $5.00 to cover the cost of some new system they need to put in, only it took at least a dozen partial sentences to convey this idea. It was horrifying.

That being said, the ConGaa cake was really pretty, except for the misspelling and the airbrushed brown smear in the middle.

My parents ordered half a sheet cake for my high school graduation. It was supposed to be green and yellow with "Congratulations Valedictorian!" on it. It was white and yellow, with "Congratuation Valedictation" scrawled in off center red icing. Classic.

I like that on the second one (before I was really paying attention to the THEME here) I thought the handprint of roses, the random paper hat and the 'H' trying to make a wiggly escape were all valid reasons to be featuring this cake.

I'm not sure what schools are teaching these days other than test-taking, but it is clear that the spelling drills I went through may be a thing of the past. I've heard many posit that spelling and proper grammar, punctuation, etc are not important "as long as the message gets across". I say that the message can't get across if these things are not observed. Tweeting and texting are further serving to degrade the language.

Seriously, why don't these bakeries post "commonly misspelled words" over the tables/counters where their employees do their job. Or atleast give them a simple spelling test as part of the hiring process.

Every year I see these and hang my head in shame for the spring I worked in a bakery when I was about 20. I must have wrote "Congradulations!" on about a dozen cakes before someone pointed it out. I just pretended it was intentional and underlined the "grad", so everyone thought it was cute.

Maybe Michelle is graduating from more than one place? Then it would be right, right? sigh. no, probably not.

#5. Poor pretty blue and white flowers, and nice scroll work. You never realized that you were being applied to the dirtiest toilet in Scotland did you. It must be Scotland, 'cause that looks like Gaelic to me.

Oh.My.Goodness. I am trying to figure out if lions are "congratulated" in cake #5. On another note, I was so proud to see your book featured in the May's Reader's Digest! *Congradulations* for the well-deserved recognition!

Except for the questionable green oil slicks on the first one and the plastic happy face flotsam on the other (well, and the 'chem major'? cake), these are actually your standard "oh that's a nice cake" cakes. Simple, tasty, thoughtful.

It's when someone with a less than hearty grasp on spelling and/or grammar (and also maybe a bit of a shaky grip) takes up a piping bag that these become wrecks. It's like magic.

I think we should have a telethon. "Don't let innocent cakes become wrecks. Donate today to the 'Training for Cake Decorators' fund and eliminate these wrecks for good."

I'm with one or two people who've already said it: I've seen the word spelled incorrectly so many times that I'm beginning to second guess myself every time I have to write it out!

And we've established that the last one is a pair of flasks (with obviously some sort of urine-like substance), but as for the 'rising vapors' why does it rise up the tube in harsh, diagonal lines? Wouldn't they be wispy, wavy, or swirly lines to indicate some sort of air?

Yeah, people's spelling would be bad enough without the unfortunate combination of similar words in "Congratulations, Graduates!"

Best spelling test I ever saw was one that deliberately threw together words with confusable spelling just to make it harder: "Which of the following words is incorrect? Succeed/Recede/Proceed/Concede/None of the Above."

HILARIOUS! It's called spell check or grab a dictionary. It would have taken 2 minutes to look up the spellings and make sure they are correct.... or at least go with the oh-so-easy slang way of: CONGRATS!!!!

The cynic in me wonders how many of the recipients realized there was an error (other than the person who sent the photos to CW)?

I'm with Anonymous @ 11:25-- while "getting the message across" is nice, if someone wants to be taken seriously, they have to be able to look intelligent on paper (ie good grammar, spelling, etc). While grammar modules in school are not fun, the consequences are even worse. When I hired students for their first career type job, I had them do a written exam-- I could train them on the topic, but I needed basic skills. It was scary how many couldn't get their resume right, let alone the timed exam .

PS I saw a hand in the flowers on the second cake too. And I agree with others about the lovely scrollwork on the Vortex cake (ConGaadululions? really??), and the script on Michelle's cake.

The "beer" reminded me...When my daughter graduated from high school last year, the principal gave the 400 graduates an engraved 16 oz "drinking" glass (with a handle) as a gift. A BEER mug!! Hahahaha! Apparently he was pretty embarrassed after the kids pointed it out, and made sure to stress that they were for sodas! Everyone I polled agreed it was clearly a beer mug.

Also, I have volunteered for a blog (wetwebmedia) that answers questions for aquarists (usually fairly well educated geeks if I might stereotype - hang around in ana aquarium store). Anyway, the only price for the free advice was that their question had to be spelled and structured in proper English. (Exceptions for those in non-English countries and the handicapped or under 10 groups) If not well composed, we answered to please resubmit. If minor, we corrected before publishing (with a reprimand). Those of us who know better HAVE to take a stand. Alex Again. :)Wv: emeni - I don't care if I make an emeni by correcting their spelling and grammar.

In the wrecker's defence... If you spell something wrong in your order, they will spell it that way even if they know it's wrong. (I mayyy know this because I had a typo on my order *whistles innocently*)

After re-reading these comments (especially Julie319's), I get a very large and scary feeling that going "back to school" isn't the answer.Even the spell check things can be a joke; I use mine when I want a good laugh. The one on Yahoo mail gives you crazy options, and some of them aren't even actual WORDS!It may sound awful, but when I see consistently terrible spelling, I "see" :a. lazinessb. not caringc. sloppinessd. all of the above

I wish I had known of your website three years ago! I throw a yearly Awards ceremony for my Medical School, The Medical College of Wisconsin. It's called the Standing Ovation Awards. You can imagine the troubles the local bakery had with putting that on the cakes..... Standing Aviation Awards was my favorite. So this year we just asked for Congratulations! - and they also miss-spelled that!

I think the last one has chemistry beakers on it... presumably for a chem major? But when I first looked at it, it looked more like drug paraphernalia! Maybe a subtle hint that someone thought that the grad was expanding their mind with more than just classes? Doesn't seem like that belongs on a cake...

This makes me glad my graduation cake was spelled properly. My brother's cake was spelled right too but they screwed up the school colors. Our colors are the same as the last cake, maroon, white and gold and the bakery did yellow and green, which are school colors for another local high school. Luckily the bakers were able to fix it, and this was the day before my brother's party too.

Cake #2 has some of the ugliest writing I've ever seen. Was the baker drunk or suffering from Parkinson's?

The horror! The absolute horror! I know I've seen worse, but the fact people order it that way intentionally is just- *shudders*

Seriously, people? Are we so lazy that we can't write "Congratulations on Graduating". Ok, so it's bit long, but the fact that someone actually misspelled "congrats" astounds me. I'm starting to prepare a eulogy.

"We are gathered here today to honor the deceased English language..."

Years ago one of my high school classmates worked part-time in a bakery. As graduation day approached, she iced many, many cakes with "Congradulations" ... and when called on it, said, of course that's right, it's ConGRADulations as in GRADuate. Made perfect sense, to her anyway!

Hmm that last cake didn't look like a bottle of beer to me.. looked a bit more like ahem some misshapen male anatomy lol. These wreckerators should just give up on the congratulations graduates it seems too hard for them to even try to spell correctly..sends them all back to school.

I have to say, the mash up of Graduation and Congratulations is a legit pop culture reference. On Three's Company, Chrissy hung a sign up that said "Congraduations Jack" when she and Janet held a party to celebrate his graduation from culinary school. Still, this does not excuse the horrible cakes out there :)

HAHAHA Your last paragraph reminded me of So I Married an Axe Murderer where the dad says, "Let's get PISSED!" (That is, drunk...) So, yes, even in other languages (or cultures, really, since English is English) you're funny. Besides, "pissed" is just a funny word to begin with. It's entire underutilized in my book. I'm kinda pissed about that. **giggle**

Okay, I know it's a little besides the point, but seeing as how I am still a person who feels the urge to double check the spelling of "congratulations," I feel slightly irked at the harsh criticisms about how "idiotic" our English-speaking society is becoming. So, I wanted to offer a little linguistical explanation for why it is so easy to get confused about this word (and nevermind how confusing it is in close proximity to the word "graDuation.") The sounds /t/ and /d/ are synonymous: they are pronounced the same way, except /d/ has "voice" and /t/ is considered "voiceless." (http://www.uoregon.edu/~l150web/conson.html) How we pronounce /t/ or /d/ depends upon the context of the sounds surrounding it. For example, we say walked "walk-t" because the proceeding k is voiceless, but we say paired "pair-d." With all the voiced vowel sounds surrounding that poor "t" in "congratulations" it's nearly impossible for us to pronounce it like it's spelt in rapid/normal speech! Whether or not people should be responsible and double check these things is another issue, but I've learned from experience that laptops or books don't mix well with flour. :)

When my mom graduated, we actually wanted a cake that said, "Congraduations." I think we saw it on a Hallmark card. Yes, we learned our lesson. The bakery folks were stumped and tried to tell us we were misspelling it. I wrote it in block letters and explained the word. The bakery gave us a cake that said, "Congradualations."

PS Love the site guys! And now that I've finally gone and bought 3G I no longer have to limit my viewing to a few rushed minutes at work. I can giggle and sniggle and choke from the comfort of my home.

Anon@12:25 -"Congraduations" is less a malamanteau than it is a half-witted Hallmarkism. "ConGsadulaliona," however, meets all the criteria for malamanteaux.

@Tigerwolf- spot on with "sucking vortex of death." I was remarking yesterday that what I really need to get my baby brother, who is graduating from high school this month, is a card that says outside, "Welcome to adulthood!" and, when opened, plays a recording of my own derisively maniacal laughter.

And I too would like to congradulate the decorator of the Michelle cake for her lovely penmanship (icing-bagmanship?). It's too bad one must concoct an elaborate backstory for "Happy Graduations" to make sense, because the cake is otherwise lovely.

When my mom graduated from college, she had two wrecky cakes. One was ordered from a bakery. My grandmother requested it to say "Congratulations, Peggie!" and have an image of a girl graduate. The cake she received said, "Congratulations, Peggie, Girl Graduate."

The other cake was made by my uncle and aunt who consulted the dictionary for the proper spelling of "congratulations." The text they came up with was "Congregations Peggie."

Oh yes.. and this unholy alliance seems to make people actually believe that the word "congratulations" actually contains a D. I seem to see it spelled as "congradulations" constantly... and 99% of the time nobody is graduating.. AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Yeah we could have used "dialects" but it's funnier to think of British as a completely different language. But it does raise the question of whether a common language spoken with such a different dialect or accent should be considered a language on its own. Hmm.

At first I thought... Wait, what is that thing on the last cake supposed to be, a test tube? Anyway, at first I thought it was Pyramid Head's Great Knife. Then again, even if it was, it would still look poorly drawn.

I'm a foreigner (DANISH, even!), and I can spell congratulations just fine. It's actually really sad to see just how spelling has gone down the drain for a lot of people - especially those using texting/IM English... Eugh...

Seriously. When you're at a point where most non-native English speaking college students (who probably has not spoken/written English for even half the years that these wreckers have!) write better English than a lot of adults who have English as their first language do, you KNOW it's getting bad. :P

The "Whatever This Says" cake has got to be one of my all-time favorites. I've decided that it says "Con Gradubliona"! Basically I nearly died laughing, especially because seeing it in type is even better than seeing it in frosting. And it just begs to be said out loud. Go ahead. Try it.

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