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Month: August 2018

Just overheard my 6-year-old daughter convincing her baby sister that I’m actually an android who hides all the wires under my hair. It was truly inspiring. “Bedtime” will henceforth be referred to as “System Update Time.” Every once in a while, I may have to pause, mid-sentence, to stare into space. To keep them on […]

My daughter Brontë has a special blue cup we keep in the bathroom for rinsing out her mouth after brushing her teeth. She’s quite attached to it, so I was nervous about what I was about to tell her. Me: Umm… we may need to throw out your blue cup. Brontë: WHAT? WHY? Me: Because […]

I was getting the kids into the car the other day, after hanging out a local park, when I discovered a back seatbelt was jammed. It absolutely wouldn’t budge. I thought about how we’re technically allowed to put a kid in the front seat when the back is full before kicking myself again for not […]

I have a little black & white kitty, named “Violet,” who usually hides under the bed whenever she hears humans stomping around. Her skittishness eventually trained my daughter Brontë to walk softly and approach gently, which made Brontë the only other person Violet doesn’t fear. Delighted with her newfound cat-enchantment skills, Brontë asked me one […]

My four-year-old daughter Bridget’s favorite toy ever is “Catfish,” a stuffed-animal Siamese cat with a fish drawing on its collar. And though she loves him, he’s clearly her fall guy. Messy room, dirty bed, broken toys… she’s been insisting Catfish orchestrated all these petty toddler crimes and more. He’s been so naughty, in fact, we […]