When Us asked Lindsay Lohan to comment on her father's engagement to former tabloid reporter Kate Major she said, "I'm gonna vomit! I so didn't need that info ... Yuck!" And Lindsay hadn't even heard the worst of it:

Michael Lohan says, "Kate wants a baby. Since I'm getting no younger, we practice at least four times a night." Yuck, indeed. [TV Guide, Us]

Dina Lohan responded, "Where he's finding money for engagement rings and weddings I don't know. He's 9 months behind in his child support. I wish him the best but pay for the kids you already have." [Radar]

Whitney Houston is being treated in a Paris hospital and has canceled most of her European tour, but her mom Cissy Houston says she's "doing fine," adding, "She's got a respiratory infection and that's all it is." [Radar]

Jon Gosselin filed papers today asking to be awarded primary custody of his eight kids. He claims the arbitrator in his divorce "failed to take into consideration the numerous factors provided for by the law in PA." [TMZ]

Jon Gosselin's lawyer says Jon's mad because Kate Gosselin has kicked him out of the family guest house and replaced him with three nannies. [TMZ]

Kate Gosselin's lawyer says, "I don't even know where Jon lives! He doesn't even list an address in the court filing." [Radar]

A source says Jon Gosselin has an ulterior motive: "The truth is Jon is going broke. He hasn't had a steady job since Jon & Kate Plus 8 went off the air." [Radar]

Though Jon Gosselin is accusing Kate Gosselin of being an "absentee mom," a source says, "He didn't see the kids for weeks and the only reason was that he wanted to hang out with his girlfriend... What he's saying is an insult to every mother who has to work to take care of her family." Hmm... who could have planted that story? [Radar]

Same goes for this comment from another anonymous source: "Kate didn't have a lot of friends when she began filming DWTS, but now everything has shifted. Jon's claims are so gross that the moms on the show are defending Kate. [Fox News]

Kate Gosselin says, "I don't really worry about what other people say because I know it's me who has to feed my kids and take care of them, so that's where my focus is all the time." [Digital Spy]

During an interview with Ryan Seacrest, Eva Longoria-Parker admitted there was an "incident" between Nicolette Sheridan and Marc Cherry, but wouldn't get into the details. "They did have a thing on set," she said. "I guess it was a couple years ago. It's so long ago, the actual incident, and I wasn't on set when it happened. Apparently, this incident had happened, and she felt it was wrong." She added, "nobody's allowed to talk about it." [Us]

Eva Longoria-Parker also said, "I'm really confused about this whole thing. I would love to see her to find out if everything's okay." [People]

A source says Nicolette Sheridan was fired from Desperate Housewives because, "She didn't know her lines, she came in late. She was very unprofessional." [Radar]

Sandra Bullock's Blind Side co-star Quinton Aaron says of Jesse James, "I didn't meet him until after [shooting], at the premiere. He seemed like a real cool guy...real loving. They seemed like the perfect couple when I met them. I had a lot of respect for him... Sandra's a real awesome individual. So my prayers go out to them for everything they're going through." [E!]

The National Enquirer is reporting that Tiger Woods once slept with his neighbor's 21-year-old daughter, Raychel Coudriet. They allegedly started making out within sight of his house while Elin was home. Ew. [Radar]

Here's a shocker: A source says Elin Nordegren is "Still embarrassed," and she and Tiger Woods, "Definitely have not been intimate yet." [Us]

Lil Wayne's ex Antonia "Toya" Johnson reports that in prison, "Wayne has a job — they got him on suicide watch for other prisoners. He watches the crazy prisoners and makes sure they don't kill themselves. He likes the job even though they don't pay him much." [Us]

While in Malawi, Madonna took her son David to visit the orphanage where he used to live. [BBC]

Lea Michele stars in a new non-crazy PETA ad, which you can check out at the link. [ONTD]

Suge Knight is suing Kanye West because he claims Kanye didn't provide adequate security at a party in August 2005, where Suge was shot in the leg by an unknown assailant. A trial date has been set for December 6. [AP]

A source says Lionel Richie is inviting "all of the biggest names in music," to Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's wedding, including Tina Turner, Rihanna, 50 Cent, and Leona Lewis. The source adds, "Lionel is asking some to sing. He wants the reception to be a big concert." [ONTD]

Nicolas Cage is still in financial trouble. His Bel Air mansion went up for auction this morning. [TMZ]

A bank has filed papers to foreclose on Dustin Diamond's house because he's $290,000 behind on his mortgage. [TMZ]

Redmond O'Neal was in court today for a progress report. The judge told him, "You are doing very well. I have high hopes for you." [Radar]

HBO has picked up the TV rights to Adrien Grenier's documentary Teenage Paparazzo about his relationship with 14-year-old photographer Austin Visschedyk. [The Wrap]

Giuliana Rancic and Bill Rancic have gotten a book deal for I Do...Now What?: Stories and Advice from America's Favorite Couple. From the LOL-worthy press release: "The book is a beguiling mixture of memoir and advice, and offers a unique insight into how an ordinary couple—albeit with millions of TV and Twitter fans—navigate their very public (and sometimes geographically distant) union." [Mediabistro]

Spencer Pratt borrowed a $10,000 camera from a paparazzo so he could take pictures of helicopters he thinks are circling his home. "Spencer is convinced that people are spying on him, so, he wanted the large 500mm lens so that he could take images of the helicopters in the sky," says a source. "Spencer is a real conspiracy theory type of guy and he really takes his and Heidi's security very seriously." [Radar]

We're not sure if Audrina Patridge and Ryan Cabrera have broken up for good or are just bickering, and frankly we don't care. [People]

In a lengthy letter to fans Christina Aguilera said of her new album Bionic, "Since the release of my last studio album, Back to Basics, I have become a mother, a wife, and most recently an actress. All of these new experiences have allowed me to face new challenges and explore different sides of myself I did not even know existed. I am a woman who wears many hats and carries many responsibilities. There are so many characteristics that define me, and this album was put together to represent all of those different parts of myself. The sound is not necessarily easy to define because I am not easy to define. I can be serious. I can be playful. Sexual. Loving. Tough. Hardworking. Honest." [Just Jared]

Molly Ringwald says, "Unlike most of the others (members of the 'Brat Pack'), I was the same age as my characters. So when they were out carousing, I couldn't get into a bar. I was encouraged to develop interests outside Hollywood and I think it saved my life. I knew that if I got involved with drugs it would never stop. I had self-preservation... I feel badly for teenage stars these days. They seem to get burned out so quickly." [Daily Express]

In the new issue of Interview, Carey Mulligan tells Susan Sarandon, "One of the things I love about the theater is that no one can tell you to stop. Once you're onstage, it's three hours, and whether you're completely off or you're just horrendous, you've got to find a way to leave an impression. There's not that terrible thing that you get when you're making a movie, where you get in your car at the end of the day knowing that something you're not proud of was immortalized on film, and you can't fix it because they won't reshoot it. And, you know, you can come back and watch what you did and realize it was completely fine and you just built it up in your head, but otherwise that moment is on film forever and ever." [Just Jared]

Melissa Auf der Maur says of Courtney Love doing her Hole songs without her permission, "It feels confusing. Most of all, I've always wished the best for her. I want her to be happy. I want her to be musical. I care about her well-being. When she gets an idea in her mind, that's what she stays with regardless of what other people think or feel. I put my foot down when she shockingly declared Hole was playing its first shows. All I was really trying to say was that I hope it doesn't blow the opportunity for a real reunion and retrospective. You can't just do Hole Two again later." [NY Mag]

"Right now I'm about 137 to 138 pounds, and I feel pretty good about it. Also, as you get older, your face starts to look drawn-that's why I think I'm better off with those 5 extra pounds." — Andie MacDowell [Prevention]

"It was the greatest thing in the world getting fat. Every meal out was an event. We'd go to Italy and have pasta, truffles and dessert and then plan the next incredible meal. It was a happy-go-lucky time. I never had so much fun." — Kirstie Alley [Us]

In the new issue of Good Housekeeping Michelle Obama says she misses, "The little nothings in life that we don't do anymore: Running an errand. Walking into your kid's school without causing a fuss. Going out to dinner without a press pool." [ET]

In an interview with NME, M.I.A. trashes Lady Gaga, saying she, "Plugs 15 things in her new video. Dude, she even plugs a burger! That's probably how they're making money right now - buying up the burger joint, putting the burger in a music video and making loads of burger money." Later she brings up Gaga again saying, "People say we're similar, that we both mix all these things in the pot and spit them out differently, but she spits it out exactly the same! None of her music's reflective of how weird she wants to be or thinks she is. She models herself on Grace Jones and Madonna, but the music sounds like 20-year-old Ibiza music, you know? She's not progressive, but she's a good mimic. [Perez]

Benjamin Bratt says of his marriage to Talisa Soto, "We're going on our eighth year of our marriage and it feels like six months because we're so aligned." [People]

, "What I'm troubled by is, you cannot name a brown-skinned Latino male who can get a film green-lit. There isn't one. Why not? It still seems we are treated like an exotic other." — Benjamin Bratt [Contact Music]

Heidi Klum says, "I'm not big on costumes in bed, to be honest. I wouldn't say no if he wanted to try, but it seems so inorganic. Maybe it'll come later – in five or 10 years, I'll start buying funny outfits. But for now, we're nice and spicy in that department."[People]

Heidi Klum also says her first years as a model weren't that successful. "I could not get a job to save my life," she says. "I was in a sh—ty apartment, I didn't know anybody and my English was terrible." [Us]

When asked what makes a good date at the premiere of Date Night, Hugh Jackman said, "I'm here with my wife watching a movie – that's a pretty good date... Other than that, skinny-dipping in [Sydney, Australia's] Bondi Beach at midnight!" [People]

Tina Fey said she's like to go on a double date with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, but "The first thing that I would do is make it very clear [to Pitt and Jolie] that there is no wife swapping. I would lay that down at home before we even left the house." [People]