We’ve all heard the famous saying, “It is not a question of
if we will have conflict, but when.” It’s important to equip yourself with
tools and strategies to face conflict when it inevitably arises, whether at
home, at work, or elsewhere.

The book Crucial
Accountability (Patterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler) lays some great
ground work for what it looks like to confront issues in a healthy way. One of
the many great tools in this book is called CPR. CPR stand for “content,”
“pattern,” and “relationship.” The authors suggest that the first time a person
fails to fulfill a promise or responsibility, you discuss “Content”. The
example given in the book: “You drank too much at the luncheon, became
inebriated, started talking too loud, made fun of our clients, and embarrassed
the company.” In the “Content” phase, you confront a single incident,
discussing what happened here and now and how it affected those involved.

The second time an offense occurs, “Pattern” becomes the
focus of the discussion. The next example in the book is: “This is the second
time this has occurred. You agreed it wouldn’t happen again, and I’m concerned
that I can’t count on you to keep a promise.” In this step, the authors warn
not to fall into discussing content. The issue isn’t solely that it happened,
but that it’s happened again.

The final step is “Relationship”. Discuss how this
continuing issue is effecting your relationship with the other person. Their
failed promises have caused you to lose trust, respect, and the ability to
count on them to do what they’ve promised.

Practice using the CPR method the next time you are faced
with failed expectations. These simple steps will bring you confidence when
dealing with repeat issues.