saturday somehow feels like a series of mad rush. first it was Robinson’s opening show for this year’s Singapore Fashion Festival. Since they were our client we had to be there to sorta like welcome the media and all those stuff. it was pretty alright.

this year SFF had an open backstage concept, it was pretty cool, seeing all the make-up and prep work. one thing i noticed is that models really sleep everywhere! there were like bodies all along sides and on the floor even. it was pretty hilarious. happy to meet up with some ex colleagues from the mags. and hopefully i’ll be back to help Pearlyn out at female!

after which it was down top pluck to take over from amelia. it was pretty nice and quiet in the shop at night. somewhat like now. did a bit of thinking about stuff. sometimes thinking just makes me even more confused!

nicole and the guys came down. and it was off to some crazy partying at zouk! well, it was too bad. got a bit high after the shots. and a little irritated at some point of time. i dont know why my tolerance is so bad now. perhaps ive not had a break in a while. and shit just builds up. perhaps seeing the same type of girls at zouk week after week makes you get pretty sick of the sight. and also how rude some girls get pushing you on the dancefloor. oh well. the rest was pretty fun. met dixon, wei, jiajun and all there as well. crazy shit. dixon was so gone.

stan, terrence, juan, nicole & raphael

the guys were out drinking and we were in partying first. and the neighbour took forever to come! goodness. i dunno why i got so pissed off at some point. i guess i was just pissed off with myself. for being that silly. oh well. it’s really like a dramatic roller coaster. i dont really remember all that happened, just that there was a part that felt nice. or so i thought. somewhat like feeling safe and peaceful at the same time in the midst of the loud music and crazy crowd. very much something which i havent felt in a long while. that isnt exactly a good feeling in my case.

another plan-less fri night. i was never into planning ahead anyway. so after a last min dinner fix with colin, met him and the guys for some good zhicha at far east. pretty reasonable as well! i really planned NOT to go to zouk, but things always seem to change how hard you plan to. it was suppose to be a chill out sess with fightG, as they’d like to be called. but i didnt know sending an sms saying “please wear shoes” would turn out into partying at zouk.

headed down to dempsey for some desserts before hitting zouk with mohan and juan. i was so totally not dressed for zouk!! oh well..drinks and all at wine bar was pretty fun. but somehow the crowd at phuture was pretty gross. and all the drama begin when daniel lost his wallet, people started disappearing and stuff. oh well. an early night isnt that bad for a change! sat is going to be crazy anyway!

i think i miss you. this aint good. there’s a reason why i avoid lovey dovey songs. they freakin make you all emo and feel all weird being single. it’s pretty insane how everyone that walk into the shop are like a couple. oh yes, i’m in the shop now. and it’s quiet and peaceful. i actually have time to think.

thinking gets bad for me at times. my imagination’s pretty uncontrollable as some would say. oh well. i like to think and wonder about tons of stuff. i love sitting at wine bar watching people enjoy and drink themselves silly. i guess all of us are guilty of that at times. but what’s interesting is the way people behave in the club. how they can use alcohol as an excuse and just do whatever shit they want, and then blame it on the drinks and they’re back to white angels. this doesn’t apply just to the guys. in fact sometimes is see it more in the girls. it amuses me how girls get all tipsy REAL quickly. i swear no one gets so tipsy so fast. on average, alcohol takes at least 15mins to get into your blood and reach your head, it takes an average of 7mins for the liquid to actually reach your stomach, so how can you just start falling all over after just one drink?

one more thing i dont quite get is how girls act all cutsey in front of guys. i swear it irritates the hell outta me. like why do you reduce yourself to such a thing ?! why do girls act as if they’re brainless attention seeking 5 year olds when they’re all grown up and able to think for themselves?! its pretty sad to see these gorgeous pretty girls behaving like complete children and lose all their dignity and composure. it’s ok to have fun, fool around once in a while, but i just dont get the whole act-cute thing. so totally doesnt work for me. and what’s worse is how guys just adores it. like the more whiney they get the more the guys retaliate. perhaps its because i dont give in to such bullshit tt im still super single! oh well. i’m not gonna stoop so low and reduce my intellect just to get some attention.

enough of digress. i’ve always loved sitting here alone and writing. it feels nicer when it rains. i guess i havent had the time to sit and actually pen down my thoughts. or in this case type it out. over the past few months, i’ve seen all sorts of relationships, falling apart, getting together, quarrels hatred what so ever. perhaps im in a state of disillusionment. its so sad to see couples quarrel over minor things and when neither agrees to give in it creates such a big problem and things fall apart. there seems to be so much lack of trust these days. and i dont get it how you can say you love someone when you dont trust them at all. isnt the basis of a relationship trust? part of me sits here and long to have someone whom i love and who loves me. yet there’s a fear of all these nonsense that will one day come destroy the beauty that has been created. i’m so enjoying the freedom i have, so much so that it never cross my mind to actually have to stay accountable to someone if one gets attached. one of my girlfriends actually told me, “it’s so lucky you dont have to tell anyone what ure gonna go or what you wanna do”. come to think of it, i’ve always had this freedom, minus the 3 years of “the dark ages” so as i put it. i really wonder what it’ll be like if things were to change. perhaps i’ll be glad that someone actually bothers about what i do. i guess that’s part of the price of freedom that one has to pay.

i remember one sermon by pastor gerald about freedom. he asked, “isnt it how freedom is never free?” our freedom as christians is paid for by our saviour Jesus, and even in our daily lives, we have to give up something to get the freedom we want. there are times when you know you’re doing something wrong, yet you still insist on your way, just because you feel like you have the freedom to do whatever you want. and it does cross my mind what i’m actually giving up for this little sinful pleasure. you can say there’s always somewhat of an opportunity cost in things that happen. murphy’s law, the unexplainable and everything in between. every action always comes with price, whether you know it or not.

the plans of having a quiet, early night catching up on some sleep was totally ruin. ms princess nicole called and insisted we go hang out in town so it somwhow turned out into a dinner then zouk kinda wed again. i’ve been trying to make a point to not club every week, ever since some people mentioned that zouk has been “a weekly affair” for me right now. which is really tiring. especially when you’ve got crazily insane people.

oh well. wed wasn’t that bad. apart from trying to ditch mr despo-pink-shirt with the pseudo bf for the night, and avoiding irritating sweaty girls in phuture. omg it’s really gross i tell you. some girls just er don’t bathe? and like they dance till they perspire so much their entire back is like soaked. and if that brushes you, it’s competly EEEEWW! i swear i felt like punching the hell outta a few bitches.

met up with colin and his friends, ben, calvin, frank and more. the pretty boy was god knows where getting drunk while we were laughing our heads off at wine bar with everyone a little high and tipsy and colin totaly gone. its damn funny how he kept wanting to buy hotdog and ended up almost hugging some waiter! hilarious.

phuture’s music is getting sorta stale. its good, but i guess there can be some variation? maybe it’s a sign of me going there too often. we met pretty boy’s friends barnabus and some girls. rachie and all. hell of a crazy bunch. before we knew it we were doing tequila pops and taking tons of random photo. i’ve never seen someone, anyone taking so many photos ever. the girls were nice, but kinda freaked me out abit with their er getting to close. it’s literally too close for comfort. and they happily gropped around, and i was like goodness gracious im getting away. no offence but im just totally not into the whole girl-girl thing. doesnt work that way for me at all. esp not with someone i’ve just met for a few minutes. they’re nice fun company nonetheless! so here’s a few of the millions of photos by juan’s friend.

rachie, nicole & myself

juan, barnabus, rachie & friends

plus this pretty funny bar tender at phuture happily ran out to take a photo!

so after a night of drama the drama just keeps coming. great. im getting too old for all these drama!!! this weekend is officially known as the drama-mama of all weekends!

i was late for hiphop open class at oschool, great! and i really wanted to go for tt. so it was reggae with shinyeong. before taking a long walk down to pluck for work. the walk was pretty good. just me, my music and everything else just fades away. i think half the time i was thinking of new dance steps. it just comes. the other half was oh well.. random. very i must say.

i had planned for it to be a quiet chill sat night. prob sit alone in pluck and have some self reflection time. more like stoning time after i close. but oh well. i really didnt expect for the guys to come down. not after fri. and when terrence walked in, i was like omg. what’s going on again?! i was already about to close when they came, plus wendy! who brought like her whole school down. crazy shit. so it was another private party at Pluck. awesome.

5 guys and a girl: ralph, juan, brenden, terrence, mohan & myself

and u guys said you aren’t cam whores!

mr model actually washing the dishes?! this is such a rare sight!

i so so wasnt planning to club or head out that night. i didnt even bring clothes to go out. so i was pretty much stuck in my dance wear. and they just had to decide to come all pretty and ready to head down to zouk. awesome. and i wasnt even let off this time. they even sent me home to get changed for zouk. seems like there was no escaping this night. i thought it’d be weird being the only girl.im glad it turned out pretty fun, despite not being high at all. like hello! I only had 2 midoris!

yay yay! finally get to meet my ‘sis nicole. goodness. can either one of u change ur name?!! so it was down to the beach for some sun! and the sun was definitely burning tt day. i was aching abit from reggae on thurs night, plus my crazy idea of doing my crunches and all after the class at home. great. dance was fun! i missed it so much.

fri was supposed to be pretty fun. like movie, zouk and all…but it became a tad bit too drama and emo for me. oh well what the hell. i dont give a shit bout drama anyways. i had fun with my babe and i was happy so tt’s good enough!