“Screw everyone, girl’s got needs!” Oh, Ariel. The traditional tale: Mermaid goes to sea witch and swaps amazing voice for really painful legs, mad dancing skills and a chance at eternal life. She tries to win the prince. She fails. Her sisters convince said witch to make a knife – if she kills the prince…

Beauty and the Beast (1991) is a slight improvement on the usual princess mold. Belle is a bookworm, and isn’t doing the endless chores that the earlier princesses love so much, although she’s still all over the animals. And the inanimate objects are positively adorable – if you don’t love Chip and the Angela Lansbury-voiced…

(This is a tad late, sorry!) Faces of woe! The third last Disney princess, Pocahontas (1995), isn’t really a “princess” – and it’s the only one here based on an actual historical person. It’s pretty loosely based – they’ve changed her age, love interest, home, story, appearance – ok, they’ve just kept her name and…

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