Really struggling with impending C-section

Hi everyone, I really hope I don't get blasted for this, but I'm really struggling with the c-section that is lurking over my head. I found out last week at 36 weeks that baby is breech and unless she flips, I'll have a c/s. I've been trying everything to flip her and i know she can up until the last second, but frankly, i think she is stuck. I know people have c/s every day, but the idea of having a c/s is really taking the joy out of the whole birthing experience for me. I feel like it's like going to the store to pick up a baby, rather that actually birthing my own child. I'm so sorry if that offends anyone, but just for me...it feels like it's not what is supposed to happen. I don't know if that even makes sense. i think i feel this way because my mom is so surgery happy it's ridiculous. she won't take care of her own health at all because she thinks she can fix any damage she does to her body with surgery later on. when i told her of all the natural remedies i've been trying to flip the baby, she said "stop it and just give into the surgery" :( I know that at the end of the day, the important thing is that she gets her healthy and she'll be in my arms...but really i'm not at all excited about it like i was when i thought i'd be delivering vaginally.

I'm not a martyr at all, don't enjoy pain (and had an epi and all), it's just that I had such a wonderful birth experience with my odd, i was just really hoping for a similar situation with this one, and of course I just feel like she's gonna get cheated out of the benefits of natural childbirth. I know c/s are done ALL THE TIME with no issues, etc....I just worry. my main depression is that I won't be able to give her the skin to skin time that she deserves immediately after she's born. My ODD NEVER cried and I really think it was due to that skin to skin time.

Comments (23)

I'm with you. If this baby does not turn around this will be my first c/s. I'm on bedrest so I can't do a lot as far as the exercises that are supposed to help, and having just recently spent 4 days in the hospital for low amniotic fluid, right now I'm not a good candidate for an ECV. So I may just be stuck with a c/s. I'll know more after I go to the perinatologist in the morning. I'm going to ask them if I can try some of the exercises.

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Pam

3 boys & 1 angel

"Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, dreams are forever."Walt Disney

I was reading another post this morning about why people get so upset about having a c/s when it's the best for the child. I think a big part of it is having the control taken away...it's like i have absolutely no say so. I read SO MANY books last time in preparation for the birth of my other one and this time I know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about c/s. maybe i'll feel better after that. I appreciate everyone's support, but for now I'm just weepy--damn pregnancy hormones.

We are in the exact same situation and I'm feeling the same way you are. No one seems to understand what the "big deal" is, but I've been very depressed about the loss of a normal birth. The only person who really understood me was my yoga teacher, who said that I should try to accept this birth and release all of the resistance I've been having...and chances are even that the baby may even turn once I've done this. I've been doing quite a few different things since I had that conversation with her and even if they don't succeed in turning the baby, I've definitely been feeling a lot better about the whole c-section prospect.

First, I feel like a birth would have helped me say goodbye to being pregnant--I don't want to go from pregnant to not pregnant in 5 minutes (labor would be the natural departure from pregnancy, but we don't have that entire birthing process to help us with the transition). So I've been saying goodbye to pregnancy every day, by writing down things that I appreciated about pregnancy ("my body did such a good job of...") or am thankful for (I'm so thankful that I have a beautiful belly and such a healthy pregnancy"). Then I've focused on what I'm not going to miss at all (no more heartburn, avoiding certain foods, joint pain!!).

Then I've been talking to my baby while rubbing my belly and telling her that I love her, we will make it through her birth together, that I know she's in the right position for her, that we will bond so soon, that I can't wait to see her, etc.

Finally, instead of tossing and turning the night before the birth, I plan on doing the same relaxation techniques that I would have done during normal labor...maybe I won't be in pain from contractions, but I at least want to take the time to prepare for birth mentally. I hope that will help make it feel more like a "real" birth.

As for the baby, I think they're probably more resilient than we think they are. They're also in this position for a good reason, so they've (indirectly) decided to come into the world this way. My husband and I were both born via c-section and we have very good bonds with our mothers. And be sure to speak with the people at the hospital about skin-to-skin time, they may have it--I know my hospital does.

I hope some of this helps you and I wish you all the best--you're not alone!!! My c-section is scheduled for March 28th...

My first baby was breech and I went felt robbed of the natural experience of vaginal birth going into the c-section and a little while after. My son was also breech and another c-section. Again not my first choice but what can you do. Now I'm onto baby #3 who is also breech and will be a c-section. I will never say yea! a c-section but as time goes by and your children grow how they came into the world matters less and less. By the time your baby is a month old there will be new issues to worry about and this will be behind you. I get how you feel, I've been there. But there is so much to look forward to, the life you are going to have with this child, that in the "big picture" this is just one of many, many moments. This baby will bring so much joy to your life however they come into it. My advice would be allow yourself time to be sad for the birth you wanted and then move on and be excited for the baby you are going to have. You don't get a do over so it would be a shame to let this ruin your baby's birthday for you. It will be special regardless. Good luck to you!

I think the worst part is you hjave to dwell on the possibility. I had a C-section within 30 minutes of being told that was what is best.
At least you experienced a vaginal birth (did I read that right?).
Honestly, if you read a lot of the negatives from people about C/S it will make you feel worse.
Trust me you will NOT feel like you buying your kid at the store.
Best wishes for you!

I was so sad when I had an an emergency CS with my first but came to accept that all I really wanted, and needed in the end, was a healthy baby, and healthy momma! No matter which way they took her out...I am trying for a VBAC this time but will not become discouraged if another CS becomes necessary. My DD was and still is a happy baby regardless of the lack of immediate skin to skin. Hang in there! I hope that everything works out for you!

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ALK 7-09-09 NPK 4-1-11 I think I could have about 10 kids if they were all so wonderful and pleasant as these two!

Not a "blast" at all, but after 2 csections, I don't understand how a csection "robs" a mom of giving birth. I was in the same situation as you, I found out DD was breech after my water broke and was in hospital. They gave me the option of a breech vaginal delivery or a csection, explaining the risks of both. I didn't hesitate to opt for the csection, where I would bear all the risk and DD would be fine. When it was all said and done, I never missed labour, I had my own rite of passage and a perfect baby girl :)

Another csection with DS, a planned one this time, and I'm glad for it (this way, I know what to expect :))

Aww, didn't mean to make you cry, but maybe you just need to get it out of your system and you'll start to feel better!! I cried for 3 days after I made my c/s appointment!!
Mourn a bit and then so many positives will start to appear...I'm starting to really come to peace with it!
All the best!

I am about to have c-section number 4...I fully understand your feeling of being robbed. After my first I was grateful for the labor and pain to be over and the problems to end with the c-section. But for number 2 and 3 I felt like I missed out on the delivery. Now that I am about to have number 4...I can see it for what it is, the only way I obviously will get to deliver. Number 1 was an emergency due to complications and pre-eclampsia; number 2 was due to severe eclampsia; number 3 and 4 were no choice of mine...just required with my history.

It is overwhelming having a c-section, especially when you are geared for a vaginal birth. But regardless of how the sweet one comes into the world - they are most definately yours. Becareful that you don't place any of these feelings on the baby, I did that with my second...I had to work through the emotions of being robbed of that experience. It helped to talk through my feelings with my husband, my family, even my doctor.

Now that I am facing my 4th c-section, I really can't imagine what it would be like to deliver vaginally. My mom thinks that I healed faster with a c-section than she did with vaginal....I am not sure about that, however, I do know that one's mindset will affect the recovery.

As much as you can look at it as a delivery, a birth...then you will hopefully work through some of these emotions. And who knows, baby's are known to flip even as late as the day of.

Good luck to you, and my prayers are with you....what you are working through is very natural.