What Guys Said 17

I agree, except as to " chances are, you only like this girl because of her looks."

To be more accurate, "chances are" a guy "only prefers" her because of her looks. That is to say, all else equal (personality, finances, intelligence, etc.), a hot woman is preferable to an average or unattractive woman. Yet, that's NOT to say that a man is interested in a woman that's hot ONLY because she's hot.

Yes, that's a frustrating reality for women to deal with. Ideally, women would like to point to a super hot, uneducated, broke, aspiration-less, passionless, untalented, woman with no sex drive and full-blown manic bipolar, anti-social personality, and narcissistic personality disorder and say, "aha! You see, it's true! Men ONLY CARE ABOUT LOOKS!"

Unfortunately, that's not the case. No degree of beautiful can make up for being a complete b*tch.

Now, back to your primary thesis.

I completely agree. For some reason, people in America feel this sense of entitlement. "I'm entitled to the perfect man." "I'm entitled to a super-hot model/stripper girlfriend who's clit is located in the back of her tongue."

The truth is, we all live in a marketplace. We are sellers of ourselves, and buyers of others. Our purchasing power is determined by how much currency we have to offer. The more value we have to exchange, the more value we can receive. A seller of a Ferrari won't be willing to "give you a deal" just because you "really want" or "feel you deserve" a Ferrari. The seller wants $285,000. You have that? The Ferrari is yours. Don't have that? You have to start coping with life and learning how to enjoy living with a Honda.

The dynamic is not purely a male problem, which is what I think the QA was trying to highlight. Women face the same problem. A young hot and sexy woman with a high sex drive, who is sweet, caring, honest, uninhibited, and intellectually intelligent is able to trade herself in return for a man "literally" worth $1,556,283 (in present value terms). An older, ugly and unattractive woman with a low sex drive, who is manipulative, sneaky, controlling, selfish, self-centered, inhibited, and only "emotionally" intelligent is able to trade herself in return for a man worth only $657,097 (in present value terms).

Nobody can "rightfully" blame or be mad at the buyer for not being an idiot who is willing to GIVE MORE in return for GETTING LESS. Assuming a fair trade, the only person that's left to blame for not being with the person you want is the "seller," either because (1) the seller has unrealistically high expectations, or because (2) the seller simply doesn't have enough value that he's putting into the deal in order to make sense for the other side to be interesting in giving what they have to offer in return for what the buyer has to offer.

Because historically women have chosen men for how USEFUL they are. How much they have achieved in life. Men are defined by their JOB in society.

This is why money, intelligence and status, in a guy, is so important to so many women.

Men have always been working their ass off because their job was their identity.

If they were working hard and were succesful, they would be rewarded by the love of a good looking woman. Whether she was smart or successful or not was irrelevant for men.

(it's easy to check because most billionaires have a hot wife even though they are old and ugly)

Women on the other side, have always been praised for their appearance mainly in society. People will ALWAYS judge a female's appareance no matter the context and no matter her job. It doesn't matter if she is a billionaire and owns a huge company. She is a woman, and men will judge her on her looks mainly.

Their role was not to work hard and have a useful job, back in the days. Their role was to give birth and be a good mother.

A good looking wife would give birth to good looking kids, while the father would be able to provide for the family because he was a hard worker and great achiever.

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Conclusion:

Historically,

- Men were expected to BE SUCCESSFUL = USEFUL and were rewarded as such by women (remember the billionaires...)

- Women are asked to be beautiful and be good mothers, and are rewarded as such by men.

They ARE EXPECTED to be good looking. That's why we have always chosen you based on THAT.

That's why women who are MAINLY concerned about a guys physical appearance, are looked down upon by men AND other women.

there is a difference between a gold digger, and a woman who aknowledge and is attracted by a man's achievement.

Gold diggers have no feelings and are interested in his money to spend it.

A normal woman is only attracted by the achievment but doesn't marry because she wants to spend his money. She can if she wants to, but it's his determination and ability to succeed in life that seduced her. She fell for the Man, not the wallet...

Money is not as important display of power to women as you think. It's not as attractive as you think. In fact it's not attractive at all. Money is like clothes. If a woman is attracted to a smart scientist wearing a coat and she would run from him if he were naked, it does not mean she is turned on by the coat. This misconception is the very source of the "useful" guy's bitterness.

yes HISTORICALLY this was true, but times have changed my friend, so everything you just said bares absolutely no weight except as an example of how stupid and illogical it would be to continue judging men and women based on now completely irrelevant historical standards.

Women are still attracted by success - Men are still attracted by women's beauty...

But since the traditional model was attacked and distorded for political reasons, people who don't have the sufficient knowledge find hard to know where they stand and why they do what they do anymore.

It's because of this confusion, that we have such high percentage of single people - broken marriage - single parent family - people refusing to have kids - and other source of social chaos...

I'm not just talking random sh*t. I know what studies show and I understand how money represents power therefore it adds to a man's attraction. But his behavior and his ability to exercise power in every area of life is what is attractive. Granted forms of power attract some women more, others other.

But having power does not mean spending money. Guys get hung up on money and fail to actually become attractive.

It's not just "opinion", it's my understanding of what is attractive to girls.

well, clearly things have changed or the QA wouldn't be asking the question, choosing based on looks alone is shallow, but it's not worse for one gender than the other, you're trying to convince everyone that women choosing based on looks is worse based on historical motives for matrimony that no longer apply to our society,

Now that things are different and more equal, women make their own money now and can be successful billionaires in their own right, just like men, so they can afford to marry for beauty if they so wish, just like men. there's not difference, there might be historical differences but those differences no longer apply.

kereru, laws of attraction clearly show those differences still apply.

You're free to bury your head in the sand and talk about what women "can" do, but everyone will tell you what women actually do. And marrying a man for his beauty, or aiming to become CEOs are rarely, if ever, one of those things.

your whole argument seems to be that it's wrong for women to be attracted by looks and OK for men, because that's the stereotype and that's how it's always been, but so what? that's not a valid reason why it's more shallow or wrong to be attracted by looks, your basically just saying "this is the way it's always been so you're not allowed to do anything else."

yes, lots of women are still attracted to power, BUT only historically did it always make good sense to do this, because women depended on men for everything. fast forward to 2013 where being attracted to power and wealth is no longer necessary or an obligation for women in order to live a good life,

therefore, there's no reason why women should be looked down on more than men for going for looks,

I agree! Traditional male/female roles no longer exist. Women used to NEED a man for financial stability and that's how marriage originated. Thus they seeked money/power and looks didn't really matter. These days most households require a dual income or both spouses work and the wife no longer needs to rely on a husband for money/power/property and sometimes she's the "breadwinner" so why should she not seek the most attractive partner including seeking looks?

The same reason men look at beauty beyond smarts. The same reason they are attracted to gentleness and fragility above strength and toughness. A woman may be able to do something, but if that very thing does not go along with human evolution, she still suffers. Not to mention sometimes she IS less capable.

What you fail to understand is that a woman CAN do anything. But what she CAN do and what she wants to do are not one and the same. Biology didn't change, so it doesn't matter.

It's funny because guys always whine about girls wanting hot guys yet everyone knows damn well if a 400lb girl came up to them all of a sudden it's "Well... we live in two totally different worlds" and they will deny up and down that her weight is the reason.

1. Looks don't make you like a girl, they attract you to a girl, then her personality/etc either makes you like her or you dislike her.

2. Sure! Why shouldn't a hot girl date a hot guy? If you're an 8, date 8's. If you're a 9, why wouldn't you date 9's? As long as the girl isn't just getting picked for sex by the top guys (which gives an inflated sense of self-worth on the dating market) then it works out fine.

Well I don't think it is write for you to criticize these guys but girls have the right to pick and choose who they want to be with guys even if they are decent looking don't have that luxury in the dating world favors women not men I mean it's human nature to want to be loved men have feelings to you know try taking a walk in a mans shoes because trust me I have seen attractive girls date unattractive guys or attractive guys date unattractive girls it's also preference what may be ugly to you may attractive to another but I do believe people should take proper care of their appearance like workout, wear nice clothing, get a decent hair cut if they feel they deserve an attractive mate.

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Anonymous

Well, you answered your own question, because they are girls not women.

Anyways, some of the "hottest" girls I know are people I would never date because they are also the most ugly.

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Anonymous

People should go with who-ever they want to go with. The only people who whine about stuff like that or age gaps are those who can't get a partner if their life depended on it.

And who gives a rats ass what they think because it all comes down to jealousy. Why else would they care about who dates who or if a 35 year old is screwing a 25 year old? Because they can't so what else is there to do...

but whine, and GaG has it's share of those

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Anonymous

if the hot guy is low class, has no values, and has womanizing traits or has substance abuse problems, should we not have the right to get fed up and angry?

women can chose a hot man all she wants, but she should also know which ones to stay away from, which a lot of them don't and date whoever, just because the guy is hot.

what about everything that matters? a lot of "not as hot" but still moderately good looking guys have a lot of better things going for them but are still ignored because they aren't physically buff enough or hot enough for half of these girls, which is just simply wrong. again, what about everything else about the guy that actually matters?

They aren't in the girl's position so they think they can assume whatever they want.You are right about this.Hot girls have the right to demand a hot guy.She works hard for it.Everyone isn't just beautiful for no reasons.They put effort to look good.As for me I know my scale.I never demand someone who is outside my league unless if he is the one who start to approach me.That's a different story.Those whiners are just selfish who want to be accepted but they don't even want to accept themselves.If they do why don't they date someone who is in their league?

Idk I just work out a little bit and I'm at the very least an 8.. that's hardly any work.. its all just genetics, usually no work involved. We do live in a shallow society/world however, and I'm just as guilty as anyone.