Cannabis Strains to Get You Through the Inauguration

Inauguration Day on January 20th is also my birthday, which is disappointing because everyone always gives me combined inauguration and birthday presents. But this year it’s a little more……interesting. With Donald Trump taking the reins of the United States of America, many of us aren’t sure what to expect. Because one thing’s certain: we did not expect this.

An Uphill Climb

Donald Trump walks into the oval office on a proverbial incline: his approval rating is already the lowest in the history of modern minted presidential leaders. Per Vanity Fair, these numbers were already low on Election Day (38 percent of citizens approved of him). And, while he saw a bit of a post-election surge, the numbers began to slip again as time went on:

Presently, around 40 percent of the nation has confidence in his ability to lead us. For comparison’s sake, President Obama leaves the White House with an approval rating of 61 percent

In many ways, the President-elect’s numbers are not that surprising: the popular vote went to Hilary Clinton and by a large margin, literally conveying that Trump wasn’t as popular as his counterpart. And also Donald Trump is, well, Donald Trump.

To Watch or Not to Watch the Inauguration

It’s widely publicized that many of the a-list celebrities who’ve previously taken the stage for inaugurations are shunning the spotlight this time around; Trump is too controversial for their brand. Some politicians are sitting out as well. But what about us common peons? Will we watch the Inauguration or treat it the same as any other day?

On one hand, there’s something intriguing about all of this, like not being able to divert your eyes when a runaway train barrels down the tracks

But now that runaway train is the leader of the free world. And it really, really likes Twitter.

Still, whether you decide to watch for the curiosity factor or because you genuinely believe Trump will make a decent president (or, heck, you just like all the fanfare), you always have pot to get you through.

So, consider these strains for January 20th…and send me a birthday gift if you remember:

Island Sweet Skunk: This strain provides an upbeat high and a good, mellow body buzz. The THC level is moderate and conducive to a happy, hopeful mood no matter where you stand politically. It’s been used to treat depression, stress, and anxiety. It helps with focus and creativity, too.

Cannatonic: THC may get all the girls when it comes to a swinging good time, but CBD isn’t some shabby cannabinoid destined forever to play second fiddle: it’s ideal for treating pain – both physical and emotional. The Cannatonic stain is rich in CBD, with a percent that teeters between six and seventeen. The THC is low, around five. The result is a relaxing experience that provides a numbing sensation over various parts of the body – including any bicep with a Hilary Clinton tattoo. At least, hopefully.

Clockwork Orange: For some, this strain is fitting – the election and the movie for which this strain was named were both sort of weird. But, for anyone looking to relieve stress (particularly chronic stress) this is a good choice. Like Cannatonic, it provides a numbing effect and is often used by people who have aches and sore muscles. Of note, it’s not recommended for anyone with a heart condition.

Rosetta Stone: This strain allows users to feel warm, safe, and tranquil – something that helps when dealing with politicians of any kind. It rarely causes paranoia and is commonly used by people who suffer from anxiety disorders. Plus, it’s known for making you sociable, helping to remove the awkwardness of dealing with your uncle who swears that the environment isn’t actually a real thing.

Pot of Gold: If you want to sleep through the Inauguration, consider this strain. Known for helping insomniacs finally get some shut eye, it’s also used to manage chronic pain. It induces both laziness and euphoria – you’ll fall asleep on your couch and you’ll be thrilled to do so.

Maple Leaf Indica: This strain is a pure indica and only recommended for night-time or evening use. It offers a powerful body high that might be too much, too soon for the novice smoker: in short, if you have no tolerance, this will knock you out. For others, this strain offers a surge of creativity and cerebral stimulation before it makes you tired and ready for bed. It’s good for stress, anxiety, and nausea.

The White Russian: Insert Putin jokes here! This strain is quite potent (it’s a cross between AK-47 and White Widow) and produces a very heavy head high. The THC level hovers in the low to mid-twenties and makes the user feel energized, motivated, and ready to take on the world. It produces a lot of deep introspection as well – you’re right: you should totally run for president in 2020.

The Golden Shower: Okay, this isn’t really a strain – at least not yet. But it’d be perfect for the Inauguration if it was.

As we’ve widely discussed, the changing of the guard may result in marijuana laws changing too – Trump is, at best, wishy washy on legalization, but other potential members of his cabinet are firmly anti-cannabis. While the slug-like speed at which the government moves is usually frustrating, in regards to the dismantling of marijuana reform it’s beneficial: right now, we’re making progress so celebrate! And smoke any of the above strains and any others you love.

Smoke them on Inauguration night and, perhaps, for the next four years.

Cannabis Strains to Get You Through the Inauguration was last modified: September 7th, 2018 by Jenn Keeler

Jenn Keeler is a freelance writer and illustrator specializing in humorous lifestyle articles. She is one of the few people on earth actually using an English degree. Her heart belongs to the Denver Broncos and her husband. In that order.