We here at The Gloss support full marriage equality for our gay and lesbian friends. We like obsessing over pretty things like weddings, and we don’t want to live in a world where the joy of picking out invitation fonts is denied to any percentage of people who want it. Hence, it makes us sad that New York State Senator Ruben Diaz keeps trying to block LGBT folk from from marrying in our beautiful, gay friendly state. To add insult to injury, he even scheduled his “Rally to Save Marriage” on the same recent Sunday as New York’s annual AIDS walk. Classy.

It’s with this in mind that those progressive firebrands over at The New Gay have created a contest designed not so much to win Diaz over (which is probably impossible), but to make him feel really, really embarrassed, while at the same time galvanizing (and entertaining!) marriage equality’s base of supporters. The site’s editors have invited readers to submit all their best Rub-D fan fic, and they are encouraging creativity.

So all you LGBT litterateurs (and allies, of course) pick up your pens and plug in your laptops — if a fool is our theme, let satire be our song. Imagine a day in the life of the Bronx’s most prominent Pentecostal minister. Is he downtown scoring poppers? Is he rehearsing his latest screed in his bathroom mirror? Is he waking up in a tangle of hard man-bodies after a raging orgy? Don’t think you have to take the closet case angle though, feel free to put Ruben in whatever ridiculous scenario you want — think Onion headline material — ’Ruben Diaz Sprains Ankle, Loses Faith in God’, ‘Ruben Diaz Tired of Wife’s “Meatloaf Mondays”‘, ‘Ruben Diaz Gives Impassioned Anti-Gay Speech to his Co-Op Board’, or, I don’t know, ‘Ruben Diaz in the MI6: Killing for Queen and Country’.

It is sad to see the disrespect and irreverence that flourishes from those who have no respect for religious leaders here in New York and those who mock us as we serve our communities. As a Christian and as the President of the New York Hispanic Clergy Organization, I will continue to defend the teachings of the Bible and oppose homosexual marriage. As a Member of the New York State Senate, I will continue to defend the definition of New York’s marriage laws to be between a man and a woman.

And as decent human beings ruled by common sense and not medieval superstition, we LGBT allies will continue to call out hatred and bigotry when we see it. Sometimes in a funny way, and sometimes in a straight up “SHAME ON YOU, YOU ENEMY OF BASIC CIVIL RIGHTS” way.

Entries are due June 4, so get crackin’ if you want to participate. Or you could just wait until June 11, when the best entries will be read aloud at Metropolitan bar in Brooklyn. (Metropolitan is a gay bar, but it’s fun to hang out at no matter what your orientation is.) If you can’t make it, don’t despair; winning entries will also be published on their site. For more info, visit The New Gay.