Saturday, September 10, 2016

How to change your life: Talking to myself

One of the tools I have used as I made some long-overdue lifestyle changes over the past year has been talking to myself, or what I like to call "the script in my head." Sort of like Stuart Smalley and his "Daily Affirmations" from Saturday Night Live.

When you're trying to break bad habits, every day is a series of decision points. And at every point, you have a choice: You can make a good decision that moves you closer to your goals, or a worse decision that doesn't.

During the first few months of trying to break my bad habits, I found it helpful to have a prepared "script" in my head as I met each decision point.

Actors have scripts that (mostly) have beginnings, middles and ends. They know where the story is going. They know how they're supposed to react when other actors say their lines or do something. They rehearse their lines so that when they speak them on camera it sounds natural.

So I figured if I had lines, a script, that I could go back to and practice, eventually that script would feel natural. The words, but more important the feelings and actions, would start to come naturally.

Here some of my internal conversations:

When I look in the mirror and get frustrated with my size and shape

It took a long time for your body to get this way. It's changing because you're making good decisions and taking care of yourself. It won't be perfect overnight, or maybe ever, That's okay.

Notice that none of these scripts is about losing weight. Not one. For me, this journey toward better health has not been about losing weight. It's about getting healthy, and that's it. After a few months I realized that I wasn't hearing these voices in my head as often because I needed them less.

Have you ever tried to change your habits by talking to yourself? How did it work for you?