Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Friendship.
One of those things that can be so wonderful, but can just as easily be a bad thing.
I've had to do some reevaluating of a particular friendship in my life lately, and it has been emotionally draining.

I'm a people pleaser.
I want everyone to be happy.
I would rather myself be upset, than someone else.

But sometimes you have to cut ties.
Sometimes you have to end things once and for all to better yourself, and ultimately the other person in the end.

Me and this particular friend were best friends, dated for close to four years, then broke up and continued to be friends. But as I've been trying to venture out, and date other people it's ended up causing a lot of tension in our friendship. He's still had feelings for me, while I've moved on. Sometimes I feel like it's just easier to break up and have a clean break than try to salvage a friendship from a relationship like that.

Our friendship had become toxic.
It did nothing but bring me down, constantly make me feel insulted, and make me angry.
Constant fighting,
Over insignificant stuff.

It's just so hard to sever ties when you have great memories, and a long history together. I don't want to make someone's heart break, and I hate seeing someone's tears because of me hurting them. But sometimes you just have to do it, and it's brought me so much relief. I feel like I'm free.

It's been amazing to me how God has really put new people in my life to help me realize just how damaging this friendship was. Our friendship had become verbally abusive in the sense that he said things to me that no one should ever have to hear. Ever. I don't deserve to be talked to like that, and no one does. It took someone else coming along to make me realize how bad things had become, and how much I don't deserve it.

Just as old doors close, new ones open.
And I'm looking forward to seeing where these new doors lead.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

aaaaaand, I had a sweet date for the weekend who came up to join us. :)

He met the fam for the first time, and things couldn't have gone smoother. (my heart is happy.)

Ohhhh how I love the lake and summer.

We had some brutal tubing wipeouts... which I am still recovering from.
The first lake weekend is always a wake up call when it comes to my out of shape self... I've gotta get back to my game with tubing and knee boarding. ;)

No wonder swimsuit shopping is so awful, it's already bad to see yourself in the mirror in a bikini... but in a swimsuit that makes you realize you need 2 sizes bigger? that just really ruins my self-esteem.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

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Thursday, May 10, 2012

But it's over, and I have embraced THAT which is the FREEDOM of Summer!

Until Summer classes begin at least.. ;)

I have so much I've been doing, and so much on my heart to blog about, so I'm really excited that I should actually have time to throw myself back into blogging the next few weeks.

Since my absence, we all experienced Cinco de Mayo!

I hope y'all had a good one!

We went to Atlanta with some of Jasmine's friends to have dinner at Tacos and Tequila. It was some of the best Mexican food ever, and WHAT a party. I would love to know how much money they made off that one night.

And then afterwards, I had to hit the books for my test over Islam this week.

Basically, I know the ins and outs of Islam after that one... including Arabic.

Hence, the reason the night after the final my BFF Ally came over to celebrate it being over with Skinny Girl and Bethenny Ever After on the DVR!

and we may or may not have put away a whole pizza between the two of us... ;) But I will say, the Skinny Girl Cosmo is amazing, go get yourself some for this weekend.

If you follow me on instagram, I apologize that you've already seen all of these pictures... I'll try to be better. This is my life lately.

Can't wait to get back to reading blogs and posting regularly, this has killed me!