Can I be unborn, please?

So as I’ve mentioned before, I’m studying Physics at university. I am nearing the end of my third and penultimate year and let me tell you it’s a real struggle. It’d be hard enough studying Physics without having to also contend with mental health issues. What was I thinking, applying to study it?!

Actually, I have a confession to make. I only studied Physics at A-level because there was a boy I liked who was taking it… It’s pretty funny how life turns out, isn’t it? I mean, I almost took Fine Art instead of Physics at A-level and now I’m studying the latter at university. I can’t imagine how different life would be for me now if I’d made different choices before…

I wish I could go back to primary school/start of secondary school when I was top of the class. I was so much happier back then, much healthier mentally…

Now I am left barely getting by, generally, academically and mentally. It’s a struggle to get out of bed, and I have so much more to worry about now compared to when I was 12.

But we soldier on. I may be petrified thinking about my future, about debt and how much money I have, I may be depressed and anxious, but I will soldier on, taking it one day at a time.

It’s not all bad, I have so much more freedom now and I definitely know myself much better now than I used to, but I’ve also been through a whole load of shit and lost friends, time and opportunities that I can never get back.

I just have to focus on the present, and on the positives and just get through life one day at a time.

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2 thoughts on “Can I be unborn, please?”

LOL I guess you were lucky in that 😁 I’m so sorry that everything’s changed for you. Being completely honest, it’s changed for me as well. I went from straight-As to that girl who fails tests and quizzes. I’m so happy that you’re determined to succeed, though!:) Best wishes, c ❤