Blind Faith! Asia! The Traveling Wilburys! Just three of the many "supergroups" in the history of rock music to bear absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to the sonic splendor of the mighty Mondellos. Distilled from the living wreckage of Southeastern sloplords The Delusionaires and Thee Monarchy V, The Mondellos exhume the all-but-extinct "Florida Sound" of such luminaries as Benny Joy and Allen Page and embalm it with equal portions alcohol and aphrodesia. Mondellos membranophonist Winthrop Fist (nee Dennie Fist, later Dennie Monarchy) is no stranger to aficionados of the Big Beat, his signature stomp looming large through the legendary Harmonious Fists and Thee Monarchy V. Less celebrated but no less insidious is the six-string slaughter of Artie Mondello, who under the nom de string of Aaron Jarvis has racked up a frightful number of bar tabs with the Exotic Aarontones, the Vodkats, the Del Spektros, the Aaronauts, and the Delusionaires. Tobacco Road meets Bikini Beach? The missing link between Jan & Arnie and Menster Phip? Only hindsight will tell. For today, the Mondellos' frenzied brand of surf-stomp-twist-slop beat reduction can only speak for itself, in a language both forgotten and not yet written...

Four eyes, two chins, half a mind -- the recipe for the disaster that is "Hollywood" Artie Mondello. Unfettered with either talent or ambition, the tow-headed titan of taste previously twisted the strings in duo format with the Vodkats, the Del Spektros, and the Aaronauts, as well as a lengthy stint in the burlesque-cum-vaudeville sleaze quartet The Delusionaires. Birthed many moons ago under the cathode glow of Ohio, transplanted in mid-alcolescence to the seamy swelter of Centro-Florida, Artie bears the cultural burns of North and South Coasts with equal shame and pride. If you have a better bio you want to submit, or just wanna send a get-well letter, drop a line to artie@themondellos.com .

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Phil Everly as the severed Siamese twin of Dave Clark trapped in the body of Carl Wilson? Maybe, Sam, maybe... The only certainty in this kwaaaa-zy world is that "Winthrop Fist" is Jacksonvillese for "Heartthrob". Membranophonist, moanster, and anthropoid enthusiast, Winthrop holds the clearer head of the Mondellos, counterpointing Artie's alcoholic mayhem with a more coherent brand of obnoxia. Make no mistake, one day he will snap, and dark that day shall be, but until then, we continue to treasure the hypnotic warmth of "The Riverside Sparrow". Adorable trait #3: his refusal to refer to any of his concurrent bands in anything but the most generic of terms (e.g., "The Country Band", "The Cover Band", "The Drunk Band"...). You can share your support and sympathy at dennie@themondellos.com .