11.12.2004

speaking of splits.

So I was relieving myself in the corporate bathroom this morning and had something on my brain, not quite sure what, and as I stood there I had one of those moments where you realize that you're always talking to yourself inside your head. This was spurred on by the fact that I had just uttered the words "Dude, can you believe that?" to myself in the course of my inner monologue.

Now, that got me thinking, is that two sides to me having a discussion? Or just one of me talking with myself? Is there even a difference? And does everybody do this? Why do I? Well, I got to thinking about my good old imaginary friend. He didn't have an exotic name like Duncan or a cool name like...Whiplash...but he was there all right, and I called him: Chris. Chris was an asshole. First of all, he was dumber than me. Second of all, he was really mean to me. All the time. Sometimes he would even try to beat me up and I would have these huge fights with him that would exist nowhere outside my mind. This was back in the grip of childhood when time and space weren't things you thought about, and an entire story could unfold over a matter of minutes from beginning to end. (Kinda like acid....eh?!) In the years that followed Chris would always be around, slowly dwindling away as I got real friends, and I wonder now if that's why I talk to myself. Am I still talking to my idiotic jerk of a best friend? And isn't that fucking crazy if I am?