The year was 2000 AD. Cash Money owned the radio and middle school dances everywhere. The Big Tymers, with their aversion to proper spelling, had everyone getting their roll on. They would then unleash unto the world their follow-up single #1 Stunna, an ode to Baby aka Birdman’s habit of foolishly splurging on jewelry and cars. Fiscal responsibility be damned! During the outro, Baby proceeds to inform us of his most recent purchases and letting all us mark ass busters know that even if we have the same things, he and Mannie owned it first, customized it more or have more money invested in it. One of Baby’s final proclamations is also one of the most puzzling and dubious:

Many people scoff at that line. Although no evidence has ever been put forth to confirm or deny this– no eyewitness statements or Twitpics of a receipt – we can assume that he never purchased one and was just posturing. The idea of a platinum football field is certainly silly, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t feasible for Baby to purchase one or is it? How ridiculous of a claim is this? How baller would one have to be to procure such an outlandish item? I will now summon my neglected and dusty trigonometry skills (I was an English major) to figure out just how much a platinum football field would actually cost.

Dimensions of an American football field in millimeters: 109,728 x 48,768.

Total area of a football field in millimeters is 5,351,215,104.

If we divide the area of a football field by the area of a platinum bar, we’ll get the number of platinum bars Birdman would need to purchase to effectively cover a football field.

5,351,215,104 ÷ 1,050 = 5,096,395

It will take approximately Five Million Ninety-Six Thousand Three Hundred And Ninety-Five platinum bars.

#How Much Will It Cost?
Though it’s possible that Brian Baby Birdman Williams may have a hook-up that could get him better rates, the average price for one ounce of platinum in 2000 was $544.03. It would cost around $2,772,591,771.85 just to purchase the necessary platinum.

Now, assuming that Baby had the required acreage on his property (and that it didn’t need to be cleared or graded), he’ll need to at least purchase two goal posts, which cost around $10,000 (includes shipping and installation). You’ll also need to paint the lines and yard markers. Renting the tools (laser leveler, painting accessories, etc) and purchasing the paint would run you around $2,000 if you do the labor yourself (I doubt Birdman would do this… considering how his itchy palms would hinder him from holding tools for long periods of time). That’s it… Baby could install a platinum football field for approximately $2.77 billion dollars.

That price doesn’t even include platinum bleachers, platinum water coolers, platinum field lights, platinum concession stands, platinum towels and platinum eyebrows for the cheerleaders. Birdman’s net worth in 2010 was only $400 million… precluding him from actually purchasing this luxurious and exclusive item even now. The cost of platinum has tripled since 2000, now costing around $1,600 per ounce. On the other hand, the Lil Wayne liplocker could install a 10 ft x 10 ft tetherball court for about $15 mil if he wanted to. But an entire football field is out of the realm of possibility. There’s actually less than 200 people worldwide that could do this.*

Is this the most baller claim every made? Yes. Is it the most ridiculous? Without a doubt. There is a reason Birdman is, and will always be, the #1 Stunna: even his imagination and lies are Stuntastic.

*People with a net worth of $5.4 billion. I don’t think anyone would/should spend over half of their net worth for a singular item that isn’t an investment.