UK Survivor: Damn it! You know the fundamental difference between British and American television? In America, when a show is relatively popular you can be assured that it will be on at the same time every week. In England, when a show is relatively popular you can be assured that the producers will schedule lumps of episodes together at random times so as to frustrate their viewing public into submission.

What’s the point of this rant? Apparently ITV have decided to show Survivor on TWO nights a week, but not tell anybody about it. Therefore I missed the second episode last night. Double damn. But since everybody‘s counting on me for their UK Survivor fix, I sucked it up and went to the website for ya. From what I gather:

The big problem for days 5-7 was hunger. Like, STARVATION. Apparently nobody was catching any fish, so the producers grudgingly handed out a couple cans of fruit and meat.

The reward challenge was the bug-eating thing, which Ular won. They were awarded “strawberries and cream”, which they ate right in front of the other team.

Helang, the losers, discovered the their entire camp had been washed away while they were at the challenge. And they had no food. But they found a dead rat and barbecued it. GROSS. Sucks to be them.

The immunity challenge had something to do with rescuing a teammate whose parachute had gotten tangled in a tree in the jungle. (Is this a recycled one? It sounds dumb.) Apparently it got interesting though, when the two teams started “felling” each other and got into a big fight. Ular ended up winning, which royally pissed off J.J., the drill queen of Helang.

The vote came down to a tie between Uzma and J.J., and when the revote was done, J.J. got ousted. She pulled a bit of a “Susan” and stated just before she left: “I’d just like to say I know exactly who voted against me.” In the post-Tribal Council interview, she ranted about the “fluffiest most useless person” on the team (referring to Charlotte, the tart that brought the Twister game). Unbeknownst to her, though, it was Simon who had changed his vote.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some errands to take care of. (First, send a complaint to ITV about their scheduling. Next, go check prices on a Tivo…)