People who whistle non-tunes can now legally be punched in the throat

People who whistle shit that doesn’t even resemble a song can now legally be punched in the throat.

It means that people who appear happy in their jobs can be reminded that other people don’t want to listen to their shit.

Police spokesman Danny LoveTruncheon told Grumpy Fuckers:

“We’ve all heard it – some dickhead happy at their job, whistling something that doesn’t even resemble a song. People that need to be punched hard in the throat so we’ve pushed through some legislation that means that anyone can now legally shut the happy fuckers up. I was in a restaurant yesterday and there was this prick who was happily cleaning the dishes out the back. He was so happy in his job that he was whistling any old shit. I slammed down my steak, stormed into the kitchen and punched the fucker in the throat. He stopped whistling after that. I am glad to see our law-makers seeing sense and passing this as law.”

One postman who didn’t want to be identified said:

“It now means that I’ll have to do my rounds in complete silence. This world has gone mad.”