There’s nothing like getting really good and depressed is there. I wake up feeling just ugh. I sit up and there’s some paper for some of the things I bought stuck to my face by dried drool.

Yep, Jessie Whitefox, sexy beast.

I think I’m going to keep using the name. Aerin just feels so full of fail right now.

I’m sore from falling asleep on the floor and slow to get up.

“I really need to get cleaned up.”

I’m not dirty, and the floor’s not that bad but I just feel grotty. You know what I mean even if you’re not dirty you need a shower anyway.

There’s a lot of advantages to being a psionic…I’m not much of a mind reader and stuff like that. Instead I’m a elemental…Pryokinetics, Cryokinetics, Aerokinetics, Hydrokinetics…even Telekinetics to some degree With those I’m considered one of the most powerful psi’s on New Haven.

It’s kind of a misnomer of things though. I started with pyro but once I started that and getting to the point where I wasn’t lighting myself or others on fire and stuff like that I started to see that these things where interconnected. I started to play with my energy and my powers. I can do a shitload of things that are listed on my files at The Ark.

Then again I’m sure Victory and them would be all impressed with my power to make ice cream.

I push off the ground TK style to my feet and mentally turn on the shower and gather all the paper and cardboard. I save the boxes and break them down flat and put them in a closet. The rest goes into the recycling. I save the boxes because most people never have one when they need one.

I go and take a shower first.

I’ve got a nice shampoo and body wash, gifts from a friend that has plant based powers and a bachelors in chemistry all I know it’s got coconut, citrus and avocado in it and it’s great for my skin and hair and I end up smelling of coconut and sort of like lemongrass.

Which has me rethinking and reliving how Lace would smell me and I’m crying again. But it’s okay to cry in the shower…cliché but alright…I don’t lose it this time too…this was that cry after a break up where you get mad after and punch the wall a few times.

I psi-pulse myself clean…another trick where I use the hot water and soap plus TH and HK to pull off my dead skin and the dirt and oils too. It’s something I figured out a long time ago but complex I guess. When I figured it out I was a kid that wanted clear skin. Now it’s habit, I feel icky if I don’t do it as I shower.

I get hit with the whole beautiful stick a lot. Between my skin trick, training as a AA and fighting crime and the metabolic rate I’m in by using my powers I’m way above average.

And yet that really doesn’t do much for me.

You look like me and people avoid you.

You act like me and people make assumptions.

Scared to even talk to you.

You’re out of their league?

Ha…I was given up for adoption by my birth mother to a nice couple because she’d been date raped. The exact same guy was a up and coming Yakuzza thug that shot and killed my adopted family right in front of me when I was seven. That was coincidence…he was taking protection money and we had a bad month or something and couldn’t pay.

He slapped Mama around and Papa cut him in the face with a meat cleaver…I hid under a chair but for scarring him for life my bio-dad killed my entire adopted family.

I was seven…

Oh and if that wasn’t enough…my bio-mom gets called about me since I had no one and she comes to get me in time to save me from the Yakuza coming after me as a witness.

They sent a lot of guys to take me out ad silence me.

My Bio-Mom’s Saber of the AA’s and…well…the reports say there were 47 of them and all well armed and some even cybered up. She killed them all and got away with it for defending her family…

But part of me…

If she wasn’t a AA she’d be a mass murderer.

And I’m her daughter…

I still haven’t shaken these things…

I hadn’t shaken my Bio-dad showing up as a head Yakuza killer for hire…or him being a psi…getting in my head…making me daddy’s little girl…

I still…he did things to me…and made me want them…

So yeah I’m a right fucking mess and even if you get past my looks…the stuff inside will drive people away from me.

It did with Lace.

Lace was a rich kid, the daughter of a Russia mob boss and raised to not just be a lady but also an assassin…Trained by Brandon Page…You’ve heard of Shroud, he trained him too.

He’s not Batman, Shroud’s just Nightwing.

Anyway…

My Bio-dad made such a nice impression on me that I just can’t go near guys sexually…I just can’t go there and I’ve no idea if that’s why I’m a lesbian of if I was bon to it or I have Mommy issues.

But built, dangerous, cultured, and blonde…as bad asian stereotyping it is to have a thing for a white blonde girl…Lace…Lace rocked my world.

……

Then my crazy drove her away.

I know I’m a basket case but really…I really don’t know what it was that I did for her tp break it off and bail on me.

It’s like that up and down all day long before I’m just…done…I even made lunch but just didn’t have the heart to eat.

I opt for trying to run the funk out, exercise helps the brain flood itself with good chemicals. I’m not a boozer and don’t smoke or do drugs but I’m a emotional eater and a carb whore.

“A long run…train some and maybe the beach.”

I go for my run and save the swimming for last because it’s only a couple of blocks from my place. It starts to rain and I stop at the edge of the beach. It’s chilly…Sanctuary’s the furthest island off of the Ark City shore and I’m on the ocean facing side. The water’s cold being the ocean…

There’s some waves and their turning into decent swells.

I see a shape?

“Shit is that a body?”

Yeah…I’m reaching for my phone…I see an arm do a wear flail.

“Shit they’re alive!”

I run to the water and dive in and start swimming to them…They’re about three four hundred feet off shore and dressed in a ragged tore up costume or uniform…lots of cuts and burns…blood…