by Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter and Boston City Paper 5/2011

What if they gave an apocalypse and no one noticed?

For months, we’d seen the billboards – Global earthquakes, the Rapture, and end-of-the-world May 21, 2011 at 6:00pm!

Sue and I spent our presumably last day on Earth walking a beach that Saturday afternoon; the sky was foggy and the seagulls were quiet – certainly harbingers of global doom. Animals just know when the end is coming.

Large Hadron Collider – Photo credit: NASA.gov. I really appreciate NASA’s policy for using images because NO ONE will let me near this thing.

By Robert Gillis, who decided to rewrite the AP for April Fool’s Day

Breaking news from Geneva, 3/31/2010 — “The world’s largest atom smasher conducted its first experiments at conditions nearing those after the Big Bang, breaking its own record for high-energy collisions with proton beams crashing into each other yesterday at three times more force than ever before.”- AP News Story

Lunar officials declared war on Earth early Friday morning after NASA launched a preemptive strike on Cabeus Crater, home to thousands of Moonies, Moonites, and Moon-Units.

CNN had reported that NASA engineers crashed a rocket and a satellite into the moon’s surface on Friday morning in a $79 million mission, to supposedly “kick up enough dust to find whether there is any water in the moon’s soil.”

Citizens of the Moon condemned the story as a cover-up by NASA to mask the real plot and intentions.

In this obviously doctored and fake image, the supposed “sun” or “star” allegedly rises over Foxboro Beach. No one in Foxboro remembers ever seeing a “sun” in the sky and maintain that it has rained in Foxboro since, like, forever.

Historians note: When this piece was written, Foxboro and the surrounding area saw the sun MAYBE three times in about two and a half months. This is absolutely true — It rained for weeks with three “dry” days.

Sun Chronicle Photograph of the dog park; Satchel Pooch (‘Get Fuzzy’ Character copyright by Darby Conley) added by Bob who had WAYYY too much time on his hands.

by Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter 7/2008

Background: Here in Foxboro, a battle has raged — literally raged — over whether a dog park should be allowed to remain open. This is no joke (I wish it were) — The dog park, which opened in September 2006, has become a legal battleground.

Photo credit: NASA.gov. I really appreciate that NASA’s image use policy that allows me to display this picture here, because it’s very hard for me to, y’know, fly into space to take pictures of Earth. And even if I could, I always get confused on the ISO and f-stop and am unsure whether or not to use a flash.

By Robert Gillis
Published in the Boston City Paper 8/2006

PRAGUE, Czech Republic — Leading astronomers declared Thursday that Earth is no longer a planet under historic new guidelines that downsize the solar system from nine planets to eight.

Buy My Book

My Professional Photography

Specializing in the sights of beautiful New England, professional prints for framing or
licensing for your advertising, graphic design, marketing, publication, web site, or multimedia project. Prices start at $25; also very reasonable license fees.