So much speculation around the circumstances leading up to NFL football star Jovan Belcher killing his girlfriend and mother of their child and then himself. Was it drugs? Was it a concussion making it it hard for him to think clearly? Was it having easy access to a gun? These are tangential questions diverting attention away from the core issue. In killing his girlfriend what Jovan Belcher did was commit the ultimate form of domestic violence: murder.

“We don’t condone any kind of domestic violence of any kind in any way,” said Giants GM Jerry Reese after signing another NFL player Michael Boley who threw his girlfriend into a wall. “But Michael Boley does all kinds of community service and people never talk about that.” Excuse me? Somehow the fact that an abuser does community service mitigates the act of being violent to his girlfriend? Reese is echoing here the general tendency in our society to judge a book by its cover. He does community service. Therefore he must have some redeeming qualities. That may be true. It may also be true, and it is often true, that abusers use these public acts of charity and generosity to hide behind. These are the smokescreens that allow them to commit all kinds of heinous acts against their partners in private, while preserving their positive social image. Maine Coach Jack Cosgrove described Belcher’s “infectious smile” and said he was a great role model who worked well with children — Belcher had been a child development and family relations major. He was also an abuser.

Another NFL superstar O.J. Simpson was idolized by his fans–a star on the football field, in movies, and in commercials, possessed of that glib charm and easy manner so at odds with who he was when the cameras were pointed elsewhere. But Nicole Simpson knew the other side of her funny, charming, famous husband. And so did the police. But when they responded to her 9-1-1 calls, they too were swept up in the charm and mystique of fame, power, wealth, and influence. After multiple beatings and 9-1-1 calls, Nicole Simpson said to the police, “You never do anything about him. You talk to him and then leave.” Former police officer Ron Shipp, who’d received special training in domestic violence, testified at the trial that Nicole had called him a few days after the most recent incident and asked him to talk to O.J. about his violent behavior. Though Shipp told Simpson that he fit the police profile of a batterer, he also listened to the pleas of his idol to help squelch the case and spoke to a police supervisor on O.J.’s behalf.

O.J. pleaded no contest to the spousal abuse charge. Municipal court Judge Ronald R. Schoenberg did not impose a stiff punishment. Ordered to receive domestic violence counseling, Simpson was allowed to choose his own therapist, and in September, when he moved to New York City to work for NBC as a football commentator, the judge permitted O.J. to continue his sessions by phone. Deputy city attorney Alana Bowman said that out of the 20,000 domestic violence cases her office handled each year, O.J. was the only defendant allowed to undergo counseling by phone.

Once again we see that there is one set of rules for the general public and another for the rich and famous. Though Nicole repeatedly called the police for help, no other records of O.J.’s assaulting her have surfaced. As Shipp testified, O.J. was always happy to show off his Heisman trophy to local police—over the years, Shipp says he brought 40 police officers to the Simpson home—and O.J. once even appeared as a celebrity guest at their Christmas party. “The average cop on the street is just as starstruck as the next guy,” said an L.A. County deputy district attorney. “Add to that the fact that officers may actually have partied with the Juice, and Nicole didn’t have a chance.”

Nicole’s head was so badly bruised after one of his beatings that O.J. drove her to a local hospital, where she told the physician treating her—Dr. Martin Alpert—that she had had a bicycle accident. As he told investigators, Dr. Alpert did not believe Nicole’s explanation. It’s not known whether he reported his suspicions; only in 1993 did it become a misdemeanor under California law to fail to report domestic abuse.

What’s a woman to do when she gets involved with a man whose power, money, influence and sometimes fame elevate him to almost god-like status? Of the 32 NFL teams, 21 of them have this year had at least one player who’s been charged at some point with domestic violence or sexual assault.Who do you call when all the social, legal, and medical systems put in place to protect you don’t? Who do you call when they abandon you, re-victimize you, and circle the wagons around your famous, charming, community-minded abuser? Who do you call?

What a great job the Town Crier did of capturing the heart of WOMEN~SV’s mission!–to raise awareness that domestic violence happens even here in affluent neighborhoods like ours, and to connect women with resources to help them deal with it more safely and effectively.

I’m also struck by the timing of the article. How appropriate for it to come out on Independence Day! If we take a look at the “birth certificate” of the United States of America (text included below), we can see at its core the expression of the very same values that should be at the root of any healthy relationship, at the core of any union: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. When these fundamental human rights are violated and through “a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations… evince a Design to reduce them [in this context, “women and children”] under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security”, in order to effect “their own Safety and Happiness”.

No we are not anarchists at WOMEN~SV. We are not even a political entity, except in our assertion and promotion of fundamental human rights: the notion that women’s rights, children’s rights are in fact human rights. And when an intimate partner continues to violate those rights, when “repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury”, when the Evils are no longer sufferable, the abused party is entitled to leave that relationship in order to preserve their own safety, security, and sanity and their children’s as well, and to seek fair distribution of the assets.

A separate document in contract law stipulates that we–as tenants/landowners/grantees–have the right to the quiet and peaceful enjoyment of our premises. Domestic violence then violates this right on the most basic level since it constitutes an invasion from within our own home, the very place that we should be the most secure.

THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, THAT WHEREAS,

WHEN women are reduced to the status of indentured servitude, enslavement, imprisonment, and are forcibly deprived of the peaceful and quiet enjoyment of their own home/workplace/life/body,

WHEN this right is violated by acts of injury, tyranny, cruelty, treachery, and injustice,

WHEN their home becomes a prison instead of a sanctuary,

THEN, in the course of human events, it can become necessary for one partner to “dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another.”

To all women enduring tyranny, cruelty, acts of injustice and oppression by a partner who once vowed to love and cherish you, may this day mark the beginning of your own journey towards freedom.

May we all continue to pursue the values that made the United States the greatest experiment in freedom the world has ever known.

Today I propose a toast, not just to our wonderful country but to the wonderful values for which it stands: To life, to liberty, and to the pursuit of happiness!

And may we uphold these values in our own intimate relationships by mutually pledging to each other “our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor”.

Happy Independence Day!

Text of the Declaration of Independence:

In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the Thirteen United States of AMERICA.

WHEN, in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another; and to assume, among the Powers Of The Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the Causes which impel them to the Separation.

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their CREATOR with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established, should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

HE has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.

HE has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

HE has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People, unless those People would relinquish the Right of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them and formidable to Tyranny only.

HE has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.

HE has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the people.

HE has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, Incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining, in the mean Time, exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and Convulsions within.

HE has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

HE has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

HE has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and the Amount and Payment of their Salaries.

HE has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harass our People, and eat out their Substance.

HE has kept among us, in times of Peace, Standing Armies, without the Consent of our Legislatures.

HE has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

HE has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

FOR quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us:

FOR protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

FOR cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:

FOR imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

FOR depriving us in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:

FOR transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:

FOR abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an arbitrary Government, and enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument for introducing the same absolute Rule into these Colonies:

HE is, at this Time, transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to complete the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with Circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized Nation.

HE has constrained our fellow Citizens, taken Captive on the high Seas, to bear Arms against their Country, to become the Executioners of their Friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

HE has excited domestic Insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction of all Ages, Sexes and Conditions.

IN every Stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every Act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.

NOR have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren. We have warned them, from Time to Time, of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable Jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here. We have appealed to their native Justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our Connexions and Correspondence. They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of Consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the Rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

WE, therefore, the Representatives of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, in GENERAL CONGRESS, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be,FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connexion between them and the State of Great-Britain, is, and ought to be, totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of Right do. And for the Support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of DIVINE PROVIDENCE, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honour.