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Volunteer football enters its Twilight

Once upon a time, men in orange jerseys played football and actually won the majority of their games.

As a matter of fact, in the ancient period known as the 1990s, these orange-clad men won several conference titles and even a national championship.

But, just as with “Gone with the Wind,” — “Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered.” The wind is out of Tennessee’s sails. There’s no hope for a bowl game now and, truth be told, the Vols will be lucky just to get past the Kentucky Wildcats.

Kentucky! I can remember when there were two sure things in Tennessee football, and they both came at the end of the season — Vanderbilt and Kentucky. Now, Tennessee is faced with either beating Kentucky or going winless in the Southeastern Conference, which would be a first for the Tennessee program.

That’s just great, as this has been a season of firsts. This was the first time the Volunteers met Missouri and also the first time the Vols got beat by Mizzou. To make matters worse, Tennessee chalked up a loss delivered at the hands of in-state rival Vanderbilt, making it the first time the Volunteers lost to the Commodores in Nashville since 1982.

In short, things are bad. How bad is it? To find three years as bad as the past three, you have to look all the way back to the 1909-11 football seasons. It’s that bad.

Things are so bad that instead of staying home and screaming at the TV last Saturday night during the Vandy game, I took my wife to see “Breaking Dawn: Part 2.”

There was a time when the worst night of football was still better than the best vampire/werewolf saga. But, this season has been such a disaster that even a Twilight movie was a welcomed distraction. Furthermore, I’m not ashamed to say I enjoyed watching the movie. (Go, Team Volturi!)

Thanksgiving is just a few days away. Even with the losing football season, there’s still a lot to be thankful for. For one, the Twilight series is now over with, and I won’t have to go to the movies to see another vampire/werewolf flick again. Another reason to give thanks is that there’s only one more game on the schedule for the Volunteers. Win or lose, in a week this ugly year will be over with and then it’s on to the next one.

(And, for me, being a Tennessee fan and also a graduate student at the University of Kentucky, it doesn’t matter who loses — my team is sure to win!)

Seriously, though, there’s a lot to be thankful for. I have a beautiful wife, a crazy cat, a sure-shooting gun and a library full of books — it doesn’t get any better than that. And no matter what side you were on during the past election, this is still the greatest country on earth, and I’m thankful to be living in the good ol’ U.S. of A.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends and Vols fans — it looks like we’re going to have a new coach. If we’re all good little boys and girls, maybe Santa will bring us a winner!

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