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XTRA! »rEXTRAI
Ha YELLOW DOG 15c
LUME 8 QUARTS
Los Angeles City Jail, March 12, 1926
No. XXX
EANMARYS. CRAWFORD IS NOW SATISFIED
N THE DUG-OUT
BY DAM CONERON
t has come to the editor's attention Lh® members of the A. S. U. S. C. ‘Utive committee make a common .ctice of taking light refreshments er the regular sessions of the body. * tea and cake may be in place some functions but it don’t seem hi that time and place should come ^ether simultaneously at the same ne. We elected those people that it, student body, elected them, and in doing placed its confidence in them t they would do their best to rep ent this worthy and high-minded pus.
E HAVE NO OBJECTION TO KE IN ITS PLACE, BUT WE DO EL THAT SUCH AN ACTION, AS REGULAR THING, TENDS TO KE THE MEMBERS OF THE M MITTEE LOOK FORWARD ER THE BUSINESS MEETINGS IOVER THAN TO THE EXPRESS TERS OF IMPORTANCE AT TIO.
'ow 'ibout it. members of the A. S. S. C. executive committee, do you k that in the future you can tend usiness or will it be necessary for sovereign student body to resort hat ancient weapon of the common pie, impeachment? omorrow there is to be held a de-between the representative de-
- ■' ■■■■ ———i——■—■ ■■ ■— — — ■ ■ - — ■ . — - ■ ■ - - ■ ■ — —. - - . i. ■ — . •— ■■■ — - --- «■--— ---
I
PassonWampus Jokes
EX COMMITTEE CENSOR JOKES
Dam Coneron Gives Hell-Fire Talk on Purity; Katy Campbell Only Applauder.
Fourteen members of the University police squad and Prof. James Musatti, swept into an alleged gambling den in the Studenf Union building at an early hour this morning. Reports had been coming in from the “Y” Hut nearby that some riotous behavior had been taking place in the offices of the study body president. It was reported that roulette, faro, wheel of fortune, black jack, dice, and a thousand other gambling devices were being employed for the amusement of members of the Executive Committee.
As members of the vice squad swept through the building and reached the j office of the student body president, ! Dam C6neron, a person was seen to ! leave the building. He was later identified as Edna Leopard, searching for 1 earns of two ol the strongest de- extra votes. A roar was coming from
3 teams in the Southern California pus, namely, Comitia and Aristote:
In a university of this size don’t seem to be no good reason such scholastic activity should receive more attention than it . In all probability there will be merest handful of. people in at-ance tomorrow night. And yet can spend small fortunes on.foot-ice hockey, and track. It ain’t
X.
(hortly after this goes to print the jjan baseball team will be given Ither defeat. Why is it that we, all the wealth of high school lerial, California sunshine, and a ;h like Sam Craw*ford, cannot cop gome of the many prizes that are ing around to be picked up by a nt ball club is a mystery. It is ystery that is only explained by poor spirit of the student body the backwardness of the executive mittee.
ere never was a better captain Hobbs Adams of this year’s var-But he has no diamond to prac-on. less than a handful of rooters eer him on at the big games, and enough suits for his men. We like to do nothing negative and nstructive but when the leaders his school wake up to the fact they represent a real, outstand-American, he-man institution, editor will silence his guns, and ntil then.
d now a member of the faculty ken to playing the childish game ged in by the executive commit-Prof. Fagan, by the toss of a decided at the last committee ng that the said executive com-will no longer have charge of itting social fraternities to the us. He said that after Theta a Nu fraternity had made a dirty about the executive committee being refused a chance to come his campus and that therefore ommittee should contrive to be eless in the future.
reason for flipping the coin so that in case anything should of the case he could not be d on the carpet by the Adminis-n.
s just such chicken livered deal-as this that are making honest nts wonder if their is such a as responsible student govern-any more.
the offices of the executives where all the little executives were wont to met. Amid the din could be heard a feminine voice later identified as that of the First Lady of the Campus. She was requesting that none of the members present dare tell of what was taking place as perhaps it would injure the establishment.
After a well planned entrance was made the police officers, followed by the former campus politician James Musatti, gained entrance to the room. As the entrance was made, coins were seen to be flying in the air. It appeared to be surely a den to be closed and one that equalled the now famous Mexicalli and Tiajuana establishments.
The coin fell in the hands of a well known cartoonist professor, and the evidence wtels destroyed. Evidence being destroyed, Dam Coneron proved-an alibi for the committee members present and made the startling statement, that “this is not a gambling den. We are merely deciding on the editorship of the next Wampus.”
WILL BLAZE FORTH WITH NAME ON ADVERTISEMENTS
BY HAL STONIER (Special Correspondent at 36th St. Jail)
Not to be outdone by Red Grange who has so capitalized his name, it was learned yesterday that Mary Sinclair Crawford, Dean of Women, had recently accepted an offer to lend her nationally known name to an advertisement. Aa a result of a very good offer, Miss Crawford has agreed to offer her influence in the sale of that nationally known product that is “mild yet they satisfy." During the summer, Miss Crawford became familiar with the product manufactured by the Liggett and Meyers Tobacco Company, and was so pleased with their product that she has accepted a proposition to endorse Chesterfield cigarettes.
—---— 4 During the summer, on a trip to
Europe, -Miss Crawford became ac
FIND TALLMAN IN DORM TUB
Star “Y” Purifier Has Wild Night in Campus Home for Girls.
AN EDITOR AGAIN
Gladv Setzler, graduating (?) senior, has announced the accepting of an editorial position with the Torrance Herald. The job was obtained largely through the efforts and influence of glowing recommendations of Dean Craw'ford and Dr. Gilliland.
SUPPRESSED DESIRES OF A DEAN
R. STEVER IS SURROUNDED
Sally Goodrich is Unlucky Party in Latest Campus Mix-up.
Ron Stever, popular campus athlete and politician, is convinced of the validity of the old adage, “True love never did run smooth.” This was brought to light in the recent uncovering of his engagement to Miss Sally Goodrich, pretty and w’ell-known Alpha Chi Omega.
According to Stever, Miss Goodrich is quite well pleased with him and had,no hesitancy in accepting his pin. But as usual the prospective mother-in-law is not so enthusiastic. As a result, Mr. Stever, through the Zeta Kappa Epsilon fraternity, his publicity agents ,is withholding the information from the official society columns. However, it is generally well known among his friends, who rejoice in his good fortune and wish him success.
Members of the Alpha Chi Omega sorority swear that nothing of the precious secret shall leak out through them unless the house mother happens to look under Miss Goodrich’s pillow some night.
LEE NAMED CO-RESPONDENT IN CAMPBELL-CORNERON SUIT
<*
Plaintiff Declares Defendant Gained His Ends and Deserted Her; Was Plain, Simple Country Girl Before Coming To Institution; Life Declared Ruined.
BY LEE CONTI
As result of a recent episode at the Women’s Residence Hall Leland Tallman, prominent debator, chair man of the Deputations Committee and the leading light in the Y. M. C. A. social circles has been called before Dean Waugh and Dean Crawford on a charge of contributing to the delin-quence of minors. The facts in the case as presented to the Yellow Dog reporter.are that Mr. Tallman, with a young Zeta Tau Alpha pledge whom this paper wishes to protect, entered the Dorm in a doubtful condition some time after two o’clock on Sunday morning. It seems that Mr. Tallman was seen leaving the Dormitory, by Mary Sinclair Crawford who, having been aroused from her sleeping by movements on the third floor, had called Miss Bell and proceeded to investigate. The culprit made good his escape, it is believed by hiding in the bath room on the second floor. His identity was unknown until the following morning, when, his hat was discovered in what seems to have been hiding place.
The most dramatic moment in the affair was when the accused was brought before Dean Waugh for questioning. When confronted with his hat and several other items of eve-dence which this paper refused to disclose, he admitted his part in the af-by stating that “while he wanted to go home, there was an unseen at> traction that prevented his moving in that direction.”
quainted with various brands of cig-grettes and while she was willing to “walk a mile tor one ’ that “ was toasted,” she finally became thoroughly convinced after a great amount of experience that none equalled th* well known Chesterfield cigarettes'.
When questioned by a Yellow Dog reporter, she said, “I suppose you think that it s strange that I should endorse a cigrette, but I find that they are really quite essential to one’s -wwW-being. While few people know that I smoke, I always indulge several times during the day in the privacy of my own room. Nothing happening, 1 hope to have a smoking room in the women’s building next fall.”
Miss Crawford also expressed her opinion as regards smoking by co-eds, by stating that she knew for a fact that inan> of the girls upon the Southern California campus were habitual smokers and that she thought it wan alright Ior the young ladies to indulge. It was disclosed that at teas given by the D. G.’s, the Theta and the Theta Omicron’s that cigarettes were always used.
“I see no reason why the women of this University should not be given the same rights as the men in the freedom of smoking. I think that every woman should be able to take care of herself when approached by a man. She should never be found without a match.”
DRS. GILLILAND, MALCOLM AND , MONTGOMERY ON VICE SQUAD
BY BRADFORD TRENHAM
Vice Reporter
DUMB SOCKS
Hard Brown, Willie Brown, Will Willard Brown. Morley Drury, Lindmal, “Snake” Gilliland, Brockman. Ray Brockman. Ray man, Dick Stith.
DUMB GIRLS
oise La Cloise. Cynthia Veach.
Soule, Tri Deltas, Josephine »bell. Prof. La Claise. Jean ,.ar*, Mar> Crawford.
Miss Kathleen Campbell, a member of the Executive Committee of the I niversity Southern California, also a member of the Rally and Deputations Committe of the same institu-tion, and declared to be one of the most popular girls upon the campus, yesterday filed suit in Judge Fredrickson’s court against Dam M. Coneron, President of the Associated Students of the same institution for breach of promise,.Miss Gladys Lee, secretary of the Associated Students, has been named by the plaintiff as the other woman in the triangle.
Appearing before the court, Miss Campbell accused the defendant of deserting her and breaking his promise of marriage, after all his ends had been satisfied and his ambitions attained. According to the plaintiff, the defendant, realizing the latent qualitlees she possessed, made love to her shortly after she came to the
girl, ignorant of the ways of the big bold men of the campus, aqd seeing the position that Coneron occupied in the life of the campus, she accepted his advances. At this time, testimony was given by Miss Eloise Parks, a member of the Pi Phi sorority, that one evening when she was returning from a party with her escort, Mr. Arthur Syvertson, that she saw Coneron and the plaintiff indulging in the most violent form of love imaginable, commonly called ‘‘petting” by the students. When question, Mr. Syvertson expressed hiself by stating that he was so busily engaged with his won young lady, that he didn’t, notice what else was going on 01 coming off.
Miss Campbell continued her testimony by stating that Cameron used her influence among the students to obtain his office of Student Body president. that it was she who guided Coneron in his presiding over the
Trojan institution from the country. ! executive committe and that she thus She was. as is the customary country (Continued on Page Three)
Dr. Clarence Gilliland, Dr. Roy Mal-coml and‘Professor J. H. Montgomery have been appointed to tbe new vice squad, according to Captain Murray, executive of the University Police Station. The captain believes that the appointment of these three will do much for the purifying of the University ol Southern California campus.
“Each one of these men have attributes that qualify them for positions on the vice squad,” remarked Captain Murray, when interviewed by a Yellow Dog reporter late last night. ‘‘I shall record » all their records because the public should know their officials.”
Dr. Gilliland. This gentleman was formerly a Methodist divine now' gone to seed as a professor Of History. He is especially qualified to find vice, be cause while a was a saver of souls he looked only for the dirt and immorality so he would have something to talk to his congregations about.
In the recent Wampus fracas, the doctor picked out a number of jokes that were dirty to h's evil mind and when the editors who were before his committee said that they attempted to kill vulgarity with wit, he remarked
that they accomplished this fact only by repeating, vulgarity. He is an authority in vulgarity. The education of the doctor has not given him the sense to discriminate between satire, burlesque and harmless jokes. For this reason his work on the squad will be significant because he will be able to find the vice in the vicious, because viciousness is seldona clever and sa*
tiric. The doctor’s correspondence with H. L. Mencken makes him especially qualified to lead raids into the respectable homes of Christian people, where the only dirt to be found is behind the piano.
Dr. Roy Malcolm. This man’s a?> pointment was made because of his political ambitions. The doctor was once a delegate or an alternate in a national political convention. He was almost unanimously defeated for the office of freeholder. He should solicit his votes from a district where he :s not so well known. The doctor is one of the pillars of ore of the largest clubs in the community, the City Club. Weekly he gives personal reference talks to the members of this organization. He claims he is weary of tell-(Continued on Page Two)
A.T.E. OUSTS DENTAL DEAN
At the last meeting of Alpha Tan Epsilon, supreme poliUcal moguls of Dental, which meeting lasted far into the night, the fraternity voted unanimously to remove Dr. Lewis E. Ford from his position as Dean of the College for the following unpardonable reasons:
1. Dr. Ford has shown more interest In the College than in Alpha Tau Epsilon.
2. He is twenty-eight cents behind in his account with the fraternity.
3. He played golf two hours without the consent of W. Thornburgh, president of A. T. E.
4. Dr. Ford was seen helping a Freshman in hi3 technic work.
5. Dr. Ford wears his Shriners pin in a more conspicuous place than the Alpha Tau Epsilon pin.
Upon being notified of his disgrac**-ful removal, he collapsed and wa« taken to his modest home in Tla Juana. Then, .while still in a weakened condition, Dr. Ford traveled to Pomona to see President Thornburgh and pleaded with him on bended knet* with tears the size of cocoanuts streaming down his noble front parts. After twelve hours of supplication.. Thornburgh calmly replied, “my man. the best thing for you to do is to go home, get a job, forget your troubles* and come back next year.”
Dr. Ford’s condition is serious, according to ’reports from the County Hospital. No definite statement was made as to the successor of Dr. Ford, but it is expected that the place wil! •go to Dr. Varian because of his well known vocal rlolencA and pungent vocabulary.

XTRA! »rEXTRAI
Ha YELLOW DOG 15c
LUME 8 QUARTS
Los Angeles City Jail, March 12, 1926
No. XXX
EANMARYS. CRAWFORD IS NOW SATISFIED
N THE DUG-OUT
BY DAM CONERON
t has come to the editor's attention Lh® members of the A. S. U. S. C. ‘Utive committee make a common .ctice of taking light refreshments er the regular sessions of the body. * tea and cake may be in place some functions but it don’t seem hi that time and place should come ^ether simultaneously at the same ne. We elected those people that it, student body, elected them, and in doing placed its confidence in them t they would do their best to rep ent this worthy and high-minded pus.
E HAVE NO OBJECTION TO KE IN ITS PLACE, BUT WE DO EL THAT SUCH AN ACTION, AS REGULAR THING, TENDS TO KE THE MEMBERS OF THE M MITTEE LOOK FORWARD ER THE BUSINESS MEETINGS IOVER THAN TO THE EXPRESS TERS OF IMPORTANCE AT TIO.
'ow 'ibout it. members of the A. S. S. C. executive committee, do you k that in the future you can tend usiness or will it be necessary for sovereign student body to resort hat ancient weapon of the common pie, impeachment? omorrow there is to be held a de-between the representative de-
- ■' ■■■■ ———i——■—■ ■■ ■— — — ■ ■ - — ■ . — - ■ ■ - - ■ ■ — —. - - . i. ■ — . •— ■■■ — - --- «■--— ---
I
PassonWampus Jokes
EX COMMITTEE CENSOR JOKES
Dam Coneron Gives Hell-Fire Talk on Purity; Katy Campbell Only Applauder.
Fourteen members of the University police squad and Prof. James Musatti, swept into an alleged gambling den in the Studenf Union building at an early hour this morning. Reports had been coming in from the “Y” Hut nearby that some riotous behavior had been taking place in the offices of the study body president. It was reported that roulette, faro, wheel of fortune, black jack, dice, and a thousand other gambling devices were being employed for the amusement of members of the Executive Committee.
As members of the vice squad swept through the building and reached the j office of the student body president, ! Dam C6neron, a person was seen to ! leave the building. He was later identified as Edna Leopard, searching for 1 earns of two ol the strongest de- extra votes. A roar was coming from
3 teams in the Southern California pus, namely, Comitia and Aristote:
In a university of this size don’t seem to be no good reason such scholastic activity should receive more attention than it . In all probability there will be merest handful of. people in at-ance tomorrow night. And yet can spend small fortunes on.foot-ice hockey, and track. It ain’t
X.
(hortly after this goes to print the jjan baseball team will be given Ither defeat. Why is it that we, all the wealth of high school lerial, California sunshine, and a ;h like Sam Craw*ford, cannot cop gome of the many prizes that are ing around to be picked up by a nt ball club is a mystery. It is ystery that is only explained by poor spirit of the student body the backwardness of the executive mittee.
ere never was a better captain Hobbs Adams of this year’s var-But he has no diamond to prac-on. less than a handful of rooters eer him on at the big games, and enough suits for his men. We like to do nothing negative and nstructive but when the leaders his school wake up to the fact they represent a real, outstand-American, he-man institution, editor will silence his guns, and ntil then.
d now a member of the faculty ken to playing the childish game ged in by the executive commit-Prof. Fagan, by the toss of a decided at the last committee ng that the said executive com-will no longer have charge of itting social fraternities to the us. He said that after Theta a Nu fraternity had made a dirty about the executive committee being refused a chance to come his campus and that therefore ommittee should contrive to be eless in the future.
reason for flipping the coin so that in case anything should of the case he could not be d on the carpet by the Adminis-n.
s just such chicken livered deal-as this that are making honest nts wonder if their is such a as responsible student govern-any more.
the offices of the executives where all the little executives were wont to met. Amid the din could be heard a feminine voice later identified as that of the First Lady of the Campus. She was requesting that none of the members present dare tell of what was taking place as perhaps it would injure the establishment.
After a well planned entrance was made the police officers, followed by the former campus politician James Musatti, gained entrance to the room. As the entrance was made, coins were seen to be flying in the air. It appeared to be surely a den to be closed and one that equalled the now famous Mexicalli and Tiajuana establishments.
The coin fell in the hands of a well known cartoonist professor, and the evidence wtels destroyed. Evidence being destroyed, Dam Coneron proved-an alibi for the committee members present and made the startling statement, that “this is not a gambling den. We are merely deciding on the editorship of the next Wampus.”
WILL BLAZE FORTH WITH NAME ON ADVERTISEMENTS
BY HAL STONIER (Special Correspondent at 36th St. Jail)
Not to be outdone by Red Grange who has so capitalized his name, it was learned yesterday that Mary Sinclair Crawford, Dean of Women, had recently accepted an offer to lend her nationally known name to an advertisement. Aa a result of a very good offer, Miss Crawford has agreed to offer her influence in the sale of that nationally known product that is “mild yet they satisfy." During the summer, Miss Crawford became familiar with the product manufactured by the Liggett and Meyers Tobacco Company, and was so pleased with their product that she has accepted a proposition to endorse Chesterfield cigarettes.
—---— 4 During the summer, on a trip to
Europe, -Miss Crawford became ac
FIND TALLMAN IN DORM TUB
Star “Y” Purifier Has Wild Night in Campus Home for Girls.
AN EDITOR AGAIN
Gladv Setzler, graduating (?) senior, has announced the accepting of an editorial position with the Torrance Herald. The job was obtained largely through the efforts and influence of glowing recommendations of Dean Craw'ford and Dr. Gilliland.
SUPPRESSED DESIRES OF A DEAN
R. STEVER IS SURROUNDED
Sally Goodrich is Unlucky Party in Latest Campus Mix-up.
Ron Stever, popular campus athlete and politician, is convinced of the validity of the old adage, “True love never did run smooth.” This was brought to light in the recent uncovering of his engagement to Miss Sally Goodrich, pretty and w’ell-known Alpha Chi Omega.
According to Stever, Miss Goodrich is quite well pleased with him and had,no hesitancy in accepting his pin. But as usual the prospective mother-in-law is not so enthusiastic. As a result, Mr. Stever, through the Zeta Kappa Epsilon fraternity, his publicity agents ,is withholding the information from the official society columns. However, it is generally well known among his friends, who rejoice in his good fortune and wish him success.
Members of the Alpha Chi Omega sorority swear that nothing of the precious secret shall leak out through them unless the house mother happens to look under Miss Goodrich’s pillow some night.
LEE NAMED CO-RESPONDENT IN CAMPBELL-CORNERON SUIT
traction that prevented his moving in that direction.”
quainted with various brands of cig-grettes and while she was willing to “walk a mile tor one ’ that “ was toasted,” she finally became thoroughly convinced after a great amount of experience that none equalled th* well known Chesterfield cigarettes'.
When questioned by a Yellow Dog reporter, she said, “I suppose you think that it s strange that I should endorse a cigrette, but I find that they are really quite essential to one’s -wwW-being. While few people know that I smoke, I always indulge several times during the day in the privacy of my own room. Nothing happening, 1 hope to have a smoking room in the women’s building next fall.”
Miss Crawford also expressed her opinion as regards smoking by co-eds, by stating that she knew for a fact that inan> of the girls upon the Southern California campus were habitual smokers and that she thought it wan alright Ior the young ladies to indulge. It was disclosed that at teas given by the D. G.’s, the Theta and the Theta Omicron’s that cigarettes were always used.
“I see no reason why the women of this University should not be given the same rights as the men in the freedom of smoking. I think that every woman should be able to take care of herself when approached by a man. She should never be found without a match.”
DRS. GILLILAND, MALCOLM AND , MONTGOMERY ON VICE SQUAD
BY BRADFORD TRENHAM
Vice Reporter
DUMB SOCKS
Hard Brown, Willie Brown, Will Willard Brown. Morley Drury, Lindmal, “Snake” Gilliland, Brockman. Ray Brockman. Ray man, Dick Stith.
DUMB GIRLS
oise La Cloise. Cynthia Veach.
Soule, Tri Deltas, Josephine »bell. Prof. La Claise. Jean ,.ar*, Mar> Crawford.
Miss Kathleen Campbell, a member of the Executive Committee of the I niversity Southern California, also a member of the Rally and Deputations Committe of the same institu-tion, and declared to be one of the most popular girls upon the campus, yesterday filed suit in Judge Fredrickson’s court against Dam M. Coneron, President of the Associated Students of the same institution for breach of promise,.Miss Gladys Lee, secretary of the Associated Students, has been named by the plaintiff as the other woman in the triangle.
Appearing before the court, Miss Campbell accused the defendant of deserting her and breaking his promise of marriage, after all his ends had been satisfied and his ambitions attained. According to the plaintiff, the defendant, realizing the latent qualitlees she possessed, made love to her shortly after she came to the
girl, ignorant of the ways of the big bold men of the campus, aqd seeing the position that Coneron occupied in the life of the campus, she accepted his advances. At this time, testimony was given by Miss Eloise Parks, a member of the Pi Phi sorority, that one evening when she was returning from a party with her escort, Mr. Arthur Syvertson, that she saw Coneron and the plaintiff indulging in the most violent form of love imaginable, commonly called ‘‘petting” by the students. When question, Mr. Syvertson expressed hiself by stating that he was so busily engaged with his won young lady, that he didn’t, notice what else was going on 01 coming off.
Miss Campbell continued her testimony by stating that Cameron used her influence among the students to obtain his office of Student Body president. that it was she who guided Coneron in his presiding over the
Trojan institution from the country. ! executive committe and that she thus She was. as is the customary country (Continued on Page Three)
Dr. Clarence Gilliland, Dr. Roy Mal-coml and‘Professor J. H. Montgomery have been appointed to tbe new vice squad, according to Captain Murray, executive of the University Police Station. The captain believes that the appointment of these three will do much for the purifying of the University ol Southern California campus.
“Each one of these men have attributes that qualify them for positions on the vice squad,” remarked Captain Murray, when interviewed by a Yellow Dog reporter late last night. ‘‘I shall record » all their records because the public should know their officials.”
Dr. Gilliland. This gentleman was formerly a Methodist divine now' gone to seed as a professor Of History. He is especially qualified to find vice, be cause while a was a saver of souls he looked only for the dirt and immorality so he would have something to talk to his congregations about.
In the recent Wampus fracas, the doctor picked out a number of jokes that were dirty to h's evil mind and when the editors who were before his committee said that they attempted to kill vulgarity with wit, he remarked
that they accomplished this fact only by repeating, vulgarity. He is an authority in vulgarity. The education of the doctor has not given him the sense to discriminate between satire, burlesque and harmless jokes. For this reason his work on the squad will be significant because he will be able to find the vice in the vicious, because viciousness is seldona clever and sa*
tiric. The doctor’s correspondence with H. L. Mencken makes him especially qualified to lead raids into the respectable homes of Christian people, where the only dirt to be found is behind the piano.
Dr. Roy Malcolm. This man’s a?> pointment was made because of his political ambitions. The doctor was once a delegate or an alternate in a national political convention. He was almost unanimously defeated for the office of freeholder. He should solicit his votes from a district where he :s not so well known. The doctor is one of the pillars of ore of the largest clubs in the community, the City Club. Weekly he gives personal reference talks to the members of this organization. He claims he is weary of tell-(Continued on Page Two)
A.T.E. OUSTS DENTAL DEAN
At the last meeting of Alpha Tan Epsilon, supreme poliUcal moguls of Dental, which meeting lasted far into the night, the fraternity voted unanimously to remove Dr. Lewis E. Ford from his position as Dean of the College for the following unpardonable reasons:
1. Dr. Ford has shown more interest In the College than in Alpha Tau Epsilon.
2. He is twenty-eight cents behind in his account with the fraternity.
3. He played golf two hours without the consent of W. Thornburgh, president of A. T. E.
4. Dr. Ford was seen helping a Freshman in hi3 technic work.
5. Dr. Ford wears his Shriners pin in a more conspicuous place than the Alpha Tau Epsilon pin.
Upon being notified of his disgrac**-ful removal, he collapsed and wa« taken to his modest home in Tla Juana. Then, .while still in a weakened condition, Dr. Ford traveled to Pomona to see President Thornburgh and pleaded with him on bended knet* with tears the size of cocoanuts streaming down his noble front parts. After twelve hours of supplication.. Thornburgh calmly replied, “my man. the best thing for you to do is to go home, get a job, forget your troubles* and come back next year.”
Dr. Ford’s condition is serious, according to ’reports from the County Hospital. No definite statement was made as to the successor of Dr. Ford, but it is expected that the place wil! •go to Dr. Varian because of his well known vocal rlolencA and pungent vocabulary.