"Tonight, you get Britain's biggest comedian, hosting the second biggest awards show, on America's third biggest network … I'm just kidding. It's the fourth."

Ricky Gervais

"The Golden Globes are just like the Oscars without all that esteem. The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. Bit louder, bit trashier, bit drunker, and more easily bought. Allegedly. Nothing's been proved."

Ricky Gervais

"Who needs the Oscars? Not me, and not Eddie Murphy. He walked out on em, and good for him. But when the man who said yes to Norbit, says no, you know you're in trouble."

Ricky Gervais

"Bit of trivia: Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler, between them, played all the parts in The Help."

Ricky Gervais

"I'm not to libel anyone; and I mustn't mention Mel Gibson this year – not his private life, his politics, his recent films, and especially not Jodie Foster's Beaver. I haven't seen it myself, I've spoken to a lot of guys here, they haven't seen it either. But that doesn't mean it's not any good."

Ricky Gervais

"Boardwalk Empire, I love that show, it's great. It's about a load of immigrants who came to America about 100 years ago and got involved in bribery and corruption and they worked their way up into high society … but enough about the Hollywood Foreign Press."