Yooge Classy Foreign Workers

Donald Trump Imports Waitstaff From Mexico, To Keep An Eye On Them Probably

The greatest jobs president God ever created is doing a fantastic job of creating jobs in America, even before he’s president. Donald Trump’s hotels and resorts have been especially good at creating jobs for foreign workers, according to an investigation by Reuters published Sunday. Not that this in any way contradicts his promise to bring all the jobs back from China and Mexico, because Donald Trump had a really good reason for getting visas for all those foreigners: They were cheaper, like the immigrant workers building his hotel in Washington DC. Look, the guy’s a businessman, and maybe China made him do it, just like it forced him to make his crappy Trump-branded clothing line in China. And if Donald Trump were president, this outrageous practice would stop, unless it were still profitable.

Reuters analyzed Labor Department data and found that companies owned by Trump “have sought to import at least 1,100 foreign workers on temporary visas since 2000 … Most of the applications were approved, the data show.” Most recently, Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida applied for visas to bring in 70 jobs that apparently no American candidates could be found to fill, highly technical jobs like “cooks, wait staff and cleaners.” But Trump probably had no choice in the matter because of the terrible things Obama has done to our economy, we bet. The Reuters piece identified nine Trump-owned companies that sought temporary visas for “waitresses, cooks, vineyard workers and other laborers,” as well as managers for golf courses and hotels — the kinds of highly specialized jobs for which there are not enough American workers. And then there’s this:

Two of his companies, Trump Model Management and Trump Management Group LLC, have sought visas for nearly 250 foreign fashion models, the records show.

The report did not specify how many foreign wives Trump has also imported.

Neither the Trump campaign nor “a lawyer for the businessman” would comment on the story, Reuters said. We’ll assume the lawyer had to be someone other than Trump’s Mini-Me, Michael Cohen, who definitely would have had something stupid to say about it.

Most of Trump’s foreign workers were brought in as part of the H-2B visa program, which is meant to allow employers to import foreign workers for temporary, seasonal jobs, but employers have to first show that they’ve tried and failed to hire Americans first. Reuters notes that most H-2B come from Mexico, although it didn’t specify whether Trump was importing any rapists or murderers, or if he has a screening process to only get “good people.” We assume he only hires the good ones, because that’s the kind of guy he is. Terrific people who love their families and want to work hard for Mr. Trump.

While not alleging any specific abuses of the program or workers by the Trump companies, Reuters notes that loose oversight of the H-2B program has led to problems:

U.S. government watchdogs have criticized the H-2B and H-2A programs over the years for failing to protect foreign and American workers alike.

In 2003, the Labor Department Inspector General said: “Abuses of these programs may result in economic harm to American workers and businesses, exploitation of foreign workers, and security risks associated with aliens who are admitted to this country by fraudulent means.”

This year, the Government Accountability Office published a report saying that workers in the country on H-2A and H-2B visas have experienced abuse, including being charged illegal recruiting fees, substandard housing and low pay.

We can’t imagine that Donald Trump would have a problem with substandard housing or low pay for his workers, but the question must be asked: How does he know he isn’t importing terrorists? He can’t say for sure who might be hiding in a Trump hotel laundry room, just biding their time until they can bring down America.

Yr Wonkette would like to thank Reuters for its careful look at this Labor Department information, and we also hope that the question of importing foreign waitresses and cooks comes up at Thursday’s Republican debate. Does Donald Trump really believe that Americans are incapable of waiting tables? If nothing else, it should be fun to see what bullshit he comes up with to explain this story away.

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).
He loves upvoting your comments but Disqus is broken and his upvotes don't "stick." Just assume he upvoted what you said, because it was excellent and witty.

How many foreign imported non-American (maybe rapist) (maybe undocumented) workers does he employ to manage his hair on a daily basis?

elviouslyqueer

AOT, K.

ArgieBargie

You mean that also-imported flannel moth?

Nounverb911

Flannel Moths are undocumented people too, also.

Lot_49

You’re saying Trump is a hypocrite, saying one thing while doing another? B-but that would make him just another GOPer politician!

elviouslyqueer

Hypocrite, lying sack of shit. Potato, potahtoe.

Nounverb911

Dan Quayle libelz!

Latverian Diplomat

Hypocrisy is a virtue to conservatives.

It’s important to have “principles and standards” so you can criticize your enemies for not “living up”* to them. But it’s important to know that you won’t hold them against your friends.

*In quotes, because said “principles and standards” often require striving to be a horrible person, not a better one.

Nounverb911

“Does Donald Trump really believe that Americans are incapable of waiting tables?”
I didn’t realize that there was a sudden shortage of unemployed actors.

Antimassacree

Just between acting jobs! Call-backs aren’t until next week.

jmk

What has happened to our educational system that there are no longer enough literature majors and philosophy doctoral candidates to staff all of our nation’s restaurants?

(*<—– former literature major/waitron… full disclosure*)

eggsacklywright

Don’t forget the ethnomusicologists.

r m reddicks

Art History Libel!

Whale Chowder

Hey, the Art History grad I know is a dog walker, not a mere waiter. Hmph.

marxalot

In what substantive manner does the Donald’s assertion that the Mexican gov’t deliberately sends rapists and murderers to the US to take white people’s jobs (raping and murdering, obvs), differ from Roofie’s assertion that black people are engaged in an active race war which involves “raping our women?”

Boscoe

About three shades of brown?

calliecallie

“If nothing else, it should be fun to see what bullshit he comes up with…” This pretty much sums up Trumps campaign appeal.

Fly

Trump can count on my vote in the primary elections. That’s how much I detest republicans.

Me not sure

Normally I would, on principled grounds, oppose such rapscallion-like behavior at the polls, but fun is fun. “I’m Humpin’ for Trump / 2016”

Msgr_Moment

“No Chumps.
Vote Trump.”

Me not sure

“Trumpin’ for a Thumpin’ / 2016”

Doug Langley

“Trump 2016”
“Cuz Hillary Needs Breakfast”

Me not sure

“Do you like piñata colostomies?” / Trump 2016

chicken thief

As a still registered Republican, I can vote for that ass hole in the primary also too.

SterWonk

“As a still registered Republican…”

What the what?!?!

chicken thief

I never changed it because: (1) I’m too lazy and (2) it comes in handy when telling my RWNJ friends/relatives that Obama will go down in history as one of the greatest Preznits.

freakishlystrong

He also said the first African American President has set a low bar for African Americans. What with all the gravitas and dignity that implicates on his run for the White House.

MsAnthropesMr

Man, this guy has a *lock* on the nomination.

eggsacklywright

As in Goldilocks?

Spotts1701

His joints are just too YOOOGE and classy for Americans to work in. That’s what the serfs immigrants are for.

marxalot

He wants to create a really classy, really genuinely separate experience for the people who come to his resorts, great people, people who deserve to feel like they’re special, that they’re somewhere exotic, even if they’re really too busy to deal with the hassle of international travel and have instead wisely chosen to stay in a Trump resort, where they know their money is good and the busboys can’t understand their conversations.

alwayspunkindrublic

If I ever get a chance to disrupt one of his events, it won’t be a cream pie to the face, but with a large portable fan….set his hair free to gambol in the wind the way Allah intended.

Antimassacree

Probably sprayed down tight these days. Gonna need a bigger fan.

essbird

Kite Running!

Stein Olsen

I am starting to believe Trumps hair is an independent creature that just happens to live on Trumps head. Given recent event’s it is now looking for new lodging. And another thing!

Gul Dukat: I should have killed every last one of them! I should have turned their planet into a graveyard the likes of which the galaxy has never seen! I should have killed them all…[Sisko clubs him over the head with a metal pole]Benjamin Sisko: And that is why you’re not an evil man.

The US pharmaceutical industry that gets nearly all of its active drug substances from China and India, yet still charges US consumers more than anyone else on the planet?

georgiaburning

Arnold Schwarzenegger?

whyieverdidit

Queen Victoria?

chicken thief

Phil Knight?

MrBlobfish

English Premier League?

arglebargle

Kathie Lee Gifford?

Villago Delenda Est

SS Kitsch Manufacturing Enterprises GMBH?

Querolous

Central Pacific Railroad?

SnarkTank

Hans Gruber?

mardam422

The Cartwrights?

mtn_philosoph

The New York City Police Department during the Tammany Hall era?

alwayspunkindrublic

Fact is, if it was revealed that he cheated and abused his Mexican employees, his GOP poll numbers would surge even higher.

Antimassacree

This will be the first GOP debate ever that I record to watch again and again. To be savored while eating schadenfreude pie.

BearGHAZI

I’m really scared that it’s going to be tame. Trump’s lowering expectations for insanity, and the rest say it’s going to be super uptight and civil

Antimassacree

They might try, but I bet they can’t maintain for 90 whole minutes.

Ryan Denniston

Time to decide on my word choice for the RNC 2015 debate drinking game. I think I will choose Messican.

Antimassacree

Unelected judges! To get totally obliterated.

SnarkTank

I’m looking to really get hammered, so I’m choosing “Extremists”

Boscoe

-A double if it’s preceded by “Islamic”.

Latverian Diplomat

I’m feeling suicidal*, so “Reagan”.

*Just kidding, no worries.

elviouslyqueer

“Obama.”

I’ll be drunk by 30 seconds in, and dead in 2 minutes tops.

eggsacklywright

Terrific, and X loves me.

Reddishrabbit

Obamacare. That’s got to be good for a nasty hangover. Not ACA, you’d be sober as a Romney. Human, but sober.

Dr.Zoidberg

I’m not racist, I have (insert ethnicity here) friends!

chicken thief

Since they will have to out-right wing each other, I’m going for “Christian/family values”. And also too “Reagan” because I really like to drink.

Logic of Color

Two words: Benghazi

janecita

Don’t you mean: BEN GHAZI?

janecita

Abortions, Planned Parenthood.

freakishlystrong

“feckless”

Amy!

I’ve been trying to cut back, but not go completely dry. It’s a tossup between “gun control” and “climate change.” With either one, if I decide I want to get hammered partway through, I can change from the strict reading to “anything about weapons” and “discussion of weather.”

mardam422

Planned Parenthood

mardam422

Classy!!1

handyhippie65

i’ma thinkin i’ll take a puff every time i hear “god”. i wonder if i even remember why i am watching ’bout halfway through.

Msgr_Moment

Cut him some slack. This is back when he was a businessman. Now he’s not.

exinkwretch

You peons just don’t appreciate The Donald’s world view. Probably because you haven’t had (a) a lobotomy or (b) ingested massive quantities of methamphetamine.

OneYieldRegular

Asked about the visa issue, which seems to undermine Trump’s bold pronouncements about immigration and American job creation, the Trump campaign replied, “You shut up or we’ll break your f*cking kneecaps.”

Antimassacree

Then smack you with a $500,000,000 lawsuit.

fawkedifiknow

What I would pay to see Trump show up for the debate wearing a Mexican sombrero instead of a baseball cap.

Steverino247

Atop a little burro, too.

chicken thief

In the Dominican Republic little burro ride you. Or so I’ve heard…

~ Rush

essbird

Seems like a sombrero would be less likely to disturb the furry creature on his head when he takes it off.

OrdinaryJoe

I figure the hat is because he must be having trouble keeping the comb over in place with all the hot air blowing from his pie hole.

Mavenmaven

..Ay yay ya yay, I am the Trumpito Bandito…

Querolous

Perhaps Elaine will loan him hers.

DahBoner

He can’t say for sure who might be hiding in a Trump hotel laundry room, just biding their time until they can bring down America.

All employees received TRUMP SUCCESS 3 Piece Eau de Toilette Spray Gift Set for Men to start them off on the road to riches.

eggsacklywright

Covers up that immigrant stink real good.

Notreelyhelping

Maybe they came over as stowaways on a Trump steamer.

eggsacklywright

The Flying Doucheman.

arglebargle

Any connection to a Cleveland steamer?

Charles Cates

Mexicans love him.

chicken thief

This just proves that The Donald is a Democrat plant.

OrdinaryJoe

OMG !!! Mexghazi !!!

TheBidenator

I think Louie Gohmert needs to invessigate thems Messicans for Terror Babbies and Trump for bein’ a Democrat, yessir.

Boscoe

-and do we really KNOW if he is a Christian?

Callyson

I’m just glad this didn’t come out early enough to knock The Donald off the podium for the first debate. Beyond that–yeah, what Nelson Muntz said…

handyhippie65

trump probably bought HAha insurance.

Seaside

Relax, he’s just hiring them to cheer for him at the debate, that’s work an American won’t do.

BearGHAZI

FACT: American workers waste at least 50% of their time laughing at Wonkette and/or trolling WorldNetDaily

zerosumgame0005

how did you scan my browsing history!

TheBidenator

Trump is hiring Messican cooks, anyone remember this?
Al Qaeda “Inspire” magazines article entitled Build a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom* The terror babies are here and they are being brought into the country by Republicans! :Louie Gohmerts remaining hair reverses itself, covering his eyes:
*I’d link to a screenshot of the article but it would probably land me on some watch list or another so nope, not doing it.

OrdinaryJoe

Did Trumpty Dumbty just have a great fall?

zerosumgame0005

no worries, it’s all because of “liberal” media and those annoying fact thingies

OrdinaryJoe

Mr. Trump, there is a Chapo Guzman on line 2, says he would like to work for you.

Mavenmaven

“hey, if I could pay sub minimum wages to Americans, I wouldn’t have to hire foreigners! “

Mary

Let me guess: it’s Obama’s fault he has to hire foreigners.

whitroth

No matter how good his screening program is, how does he *know* that he hasen’t hired sleeper Mexican Muslims who are agents of ISIL, who are just WAITING THEIR CHANCE to mow down all the Republican candidates (well, perhaps except for Mr. Trump…)? Is this a takeover waiting to happen?