I write about my life and life itself seen through my eyes for who can write through the experiences of others if not their own?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

You Hear Me, Doc?

I usually like the pictures taken at around mile 25. For whatever reason they come out really good. It must be that by then I am beyond exhaustion and beginning to hallucinate. The picture taken on my last marathon was different. It shows pain and yes, determination, that is exactly what I was feeling.

I signed up for the Sugarloaf marathon a week before race day. With my deficient geographical skills I was unaware that the ride was going to be hours and hours of highway, but I was lucky enough to find two friends who were willing to go with me. Best of two worlds, share the driving, share the expense, and have someone to actually have a drink with after and, in my case, before the marathon.

The forecast kept progressively getting worse. We went from sun, to overcast, to some showers, to showers, to rain, to flood advisory.

As in any marathon, there are no guarantees, but I hoped I wouldn't have any issues. Guess, what? I had issues.

7 days before, on the emergency line I left a message “Extreme pain”. No answer.

And why did I run with the new orthotics anyway and not one of the old pairs? Beats me.

First 8 miles challenging and humid. Then, downhill then some ups then rain then….I don’t feel my toes. By 14, I feel my toes, but I also feel pain. By 20 at a medical table “I need drugs” and of course the promised downhill in the last 6 miles didn't come.When the picture was taken at 22 I was certain there was a fracture in my foot.

What I write – Why I write
I write about life
About running,
About my impressions.
I’d like to call my writing
Impressionism.

All I write will be shaded
By my ideology
And I can not pretend
To be phonily neutral
For no one can be

I write because it is free.
Because it’s not censored
And
Because it is I

I write about my experience
and my observations of others
What I have felt
And what I could have felt

I write about my feelings of today,
The people in my life now and
The ones in my life yesterday
However many years ago.
I can write the feelings
of twenty years ago
With the same intensity
that I would have back then.

Bear with me
For what is life but
a long string of events
All affecting one another