Wednesday, March 4, 2015

The Fight to Recovery

It was about noon that day when i woke up, i felt groggy and sick i thought that it was probably just because i was dope sick again and needed to get high but i didnt want to one of my moms friends gave me a vicodin and instanlty i felt better what a relief, oh but the nausea came back hard, i ran to the bathroom and began to violently up chuck all of last nights meal, I didnt know but boy was i in for a suprise, my boyfriend at the time suggested that i take a pregnancy test...appaulled i ask if i was getting fat.. "no you are showing symptoms." He said. " okay but i already know that im not pregnant" i repliedlater on that day we went to the dollar store he went inside because i wasnt feeling well... i looked out the window and saw a pregnant woman with babies and other mothers with there children and/or child, i could feel my stomache turn OH NO! i am pregnant,right thats why all of these signs all of a sudden fuck...it must be. my boyfriend got back in the car smiled and kissed me. the ride home was uncomfortable, what would i tell my parents what if its just another scare. shut up i feel like i am going crazy. i thought. I immidatley run to the bathroom excited anxcious nervous so many feelings"You look i cant look." I whisper"Both at the same time...Okay?...1....2.....3..Now!" My boyfriend said. "oh my god your fucking kidding me right?""nope....we got ourselves something to think about" "No no its not accurate im not really pregnant"I was smoking meth pills and Marijuana up until the time i found out that i was pregnant. Unaware that there was a embryo inside of me, i had no i dea i wasnt just harming myself anymore i was harming what would be My baby.