There’s nothing quite like a Facebook campaign to get Oxford engaged in a cause.

It explains why #VeggiePledge was so popular, where you could declare to the Oxford student body how “vegetarian” you were willing to become, even if definitions of vegetarian ranged from “strict vegan” to “only eating chicken and fish”. (After all, pizza is considered a vegetable by the US Congress.)

St Hugh’s ended up as the winner, forming part of their larger plan to dominate 2016. First, producing a prime minister hellbent on destroying Britain’s global standing. Now, winning this by a whopping 282 pledges. To be fair, they did manage to overcome the well-practised Wadham technique of barraging the campaign on the last day. And so, St Hugh’s would be paid handsomely for their victory with two hampers of vegetarian goodies.

Not that Wadham was going to take this defeat lying down. This message popped up on the St Hugh’s JCR Facebook group soon after the college was declared victorious:

Indeed, the president continued this argument then stated in the comments:

£80 to feed over 500 JCR members? What do you mean you’re still hungry? Nor could the food be given to charity despite many suggestions, according to OUSU. The role of basket case was thus reserved for Wadham.

“The St Hugh’s iguana is threatened by the vicious Wadham snakes…” [click to see GIF]

So despite numerous objections, it was decided by online survey – very democracy – that we should hold a welfare tea (yawn) with Wadham using the food from the hamper. Because St Hugh’s are just so nice, and such a lack of consideration towards our dear idols friends at Wadham would leave such an indelible mark upon the college.