"For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord..." Jeremiah 29:11

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Is this really happening???

I would first like to begin by saying THANK YOU SO MUCH for the many many well wishes and congrats we have received over the last couple of weeks. We are completely over the moon with excitement but I still can't help but wonder, from time to time, is this really happening?? From the day that I saw those 2 lines (and yes, I confirmed with several more tests, just to be positive I wasn't seeing things), up until today, it still just doesn't seem real.

I wish I had some really great, fun way that I could share with you as to how I told Cozart. That was the plan. I mean, after 3.5 years of trying I have come up with an idea or 2. (wrap up the test and have him open it, get a Tampa Bay Buccaneers onesie or bib and give it to him, put the dogs in t-shirts that say BIG SISTER and BIG BROTHER, etc... etc...) As I mentioned in my previous post (the first)test I took was at 3 in the morning and Cozart was at the station. And no, I didn't call him at work to tell him. Believe it or not, after about 2 hours of tossing and turning, my mind racing and after turning the light on a hundred times, just to be sure there were still 2 lines; I eventually fell back to sleep. When my alarm went off, I jumped in the shower and started to think of what I could do before he got home from work. While I was in the shower the dogs started to bark, which is nothing abnormal, they bark all the time at noises, I'm convinced, they hear in their heads. I proceeded with my shower and in walks Cozart... the test was on the bathroom counter. (so much for the great idea) After saying good morning he says: "What's this? Is this real?". I said, "yes, I think so." And I can't remember what was said after that. Cozart seems to be a bit of a skeptic when it comes to these tests. The first time we got a positive his reaction was about the same, he's not letting himself get too excited until it is confirmed by a doctor. Although, he was much more (cautiously) excited this time around. Sorry if that was a bit anti-climactic but to be perfectly honest, I think there was much more shock than any other emotion for both of us. (even if Cozart said he knew it would work)

As soon as Dr. D's office opened, at 9am, I called to give them the good news and find out what I needed to do next. I spoke to one of the receptionists who transferred me to Dr. D's nurses' voicemail and received a call back within a couple of hours, asking me to come in later that afternoon for some blood work. They would be checking my P4 (progesterone) level and my HCG (pregnancy hormone). I was a little surprised they didn't act more happy for us or even say congratulations but oh well. I went in for my blood draw and was shocked to receive a call back shortly after with my results AND the big congratulations YOU'RE PREGNANT, I was hoping for when I first called. My HCG was at 66 (they want to see anything over 5) and my P4 was >80 (they want to see anything over 20) which is "AWESOME" (nurse's words not mine). We scheduled my next blood draw for not the next day but the day following. They want to be sure your HCG level is at least doubling every 48 hours. Mine was 171 with the 2nd draw, which again, I was told was great. Whew! So far so good. Now I would just have to wait another 3 weeks for my first ultrasound... Ugh!

Why is it that when someone else tells you they're pregnant, it seems they're having the baby a few weeks later but when it's you, time seems to move at a snail's pace?

The next 3 weeks were as much of a roller coaster as the journey leading up to this point has been, if not worse. One thing no one tells you after you have miscarried is that, when/if you get pregnant again you will worry about ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!!!! In that 3 weeks time I had convinced myself that this was not going to happen for one reason or another and I didn't want to tell anyone because that would be one more person we would have to share bad news with. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat (I lost 7lbs in the first 2 weeks and not because of morning sickness), I was a complete wreck! However, in my defense, I did have a good amount of cramping and the "symptoms" I remembered having the last time, were nonexistent this time around. Both contributing to my anxiety.

By the day of our appointment I was still very nervous but I had come to terms with the fact that, this was completely out of my hands. Whatever we would or would see on that ultrasound wouldn't be because of anything I did wrong or right or really anything I DID at all, it was all up to God. And we were quickly reminded of how amazing His work is when we saw that little flicker of a heartbeat (150bpm and measuring exactly to the date) on the screen. WOW! AMAZING! There was/is a little person growing inside of me! Crazy! We both cried and we couldn't have been more happy at that moment. After the ultrasound we met in Dr. D's office to go over a few things, get any questions we had answered and so he could "graduate us" from his clinic. It was a bitter sweet moment, he's a fantastic doctor and as much as we hate to leave him, we couldn't be happier knowing we are leaving with what we came for.

My first OB appointment with Dr. S was approximately a week and a half after our last with Dr. D. It felt so good to be sitting in Dr. S's office FINALLY with some good news! And when he said, "Do you want to take a look today?", I about hugged him! Another ultrasound, heck yeah! We again, saw the flicker of the heartbeat, as well as hearing it (170bpm this time!) and this time there were arm and leg buds! Adorable! I mean, as adorable as an amoeba looking thing can be.

Our 2nd appointment was just before my last post at 12 weeks, which included our NT scan/test. The nuchal translucency test is a test they do to check for Trisomy 15 & 18 (chromosomal abnormalities that end in a still birth or the baby dies shortly after giving birth) and Trisomy 21 which is down syndrome. This test includes an ultrasound which measures the fluid at the back of the baby's neck and a blood draw. Everything looked good on the ultrasound but, we still haven't heard the results from the blood work. (PRAYERS everything comes back ok!!!!)

That brings us to today, 14 weeks 4 days and still questioning whether this is really happening or it's all a dream? I had some morning sickness throughout the middle of the 1st trimester which is completely gone now. As of week 12, my energy is back almost completely and I'm back to sleeping well at night (except for the 2 or 3 bathroom breaks). My only complaint is headaches. I get them every couple days and sometimes they're pretty bad. They don't know what causes them and Tylenol seems to aide in tolerating them. I am still doing yoga, although, not as often as I should be or would like to be. I have tried to continue running but have slowed down quite a bit there too. I am still wearing my regular clothes and don't seem to be showing much, if any, until the end of the day.

I think there is less of a bump today than when this pic was taken. Week 14 pic to follow...

Our next appointment is May 17th, but I'm sure I'll update you all before then.
Thanks again for the congrats, well wishes and all your prayers!!!

You sound exactly like me in the beginning!!! :) everything is going to be amazing!!!! So so so excited for you. I think it's a girl. Did you find out at your NT? :) you look super cute and I see a tiny bump. :) xo!!!!