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Female readers have been pummeling me with questions on how to woo the metrosexual male:

Dear Tom: My boyfriend's hair treatment, skin conditioner, perfume bottles and other toiletries take up so much room in my bathroom I have no place to put my stuff, and he doesn't even live here. What should I do?

 No Space

Dear No Space: You're going to have to get a new apartment with "her-her" bathrooms. Be sure there's plenty of light, so your fellow can see what he's doing.

Dear Tom: It's not as though I expect my boyfriend to open the door for me, and he never does, but whatever happened to chivalry?

 Disappointed

Dear Disappointed: Chivalry is a concept that dates back to medieval times, when men lived by codes of honor, virtue and sacrifice. Chivalry demanded that men be gracious, gentle and respectful toward women. Chivalry is all about selflessness and romantic love, whereas your boyfriend is all about selfishness and self-love.

Dear Tom: I'm not a prude, nor do I think we should return to the rigid ways of the past, but sometimes I think it would be nice to court the way men and women did in the old movies. What do you think?

 Dreamer

Dear Dreamer: Unfortunately, that's not possible. Courting is all about romance and romance is all about men and women embracing and celebrating their distinct and unique differences. Today it's getting hard to tell the difference.

Dear Tom: What exactly is a metrosexual male?

 Wondering

Dear Wondering: The best definition I ever saw was a quote by Mark Simpson on AskMen.com: "Desire in the metrosexual male has been uncoupled, or at least irretrievably loosened, from reproduction and gender. It has been reattached to commercial signs, such as advertisements, images, icons and brands.

Dear Tom: Call me a nut, but I saw a John Wayne movie the other day and I would love to meet a man as stoic, confident, modest and manly as he was. Where can I find such a fellow?

 Loving John

Dear Loving John: The good news is, there are still plenty of such men around. The bad news is, they're as old as John Wayne would have been were he still with us. The older generations produced an abundance of simple men who spent their time building a country and providing for their families, not picking out shirts at the mall.

Dear Tom: I read on the HistoryChannel.com that one of the theories about St. Valentine is that he was a priest who was killed for defying a Roman emperor. Do you know that story?

 Curious

Dear Curious: Yes, Emperor Claudius II felt that single men made better soldiers than married men, so he outlawed marriage. St. Valentine put the love of young couples ahead of his own life and married them anyway. He was imprisoned and then killed. Such selflessness and sacrifice is what Valentine's Day is really about.

Dear Tom: With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I'm very sad. My boyfriend never cleans our place, never cooks, never does the laundry. He never takes me out and never buys me flowers. He quit his job and I pay all the bills. The question is: Do you think he'll propose to me this Valentine's Day?

 Waiting

Dear Waiting: Surely you know the answer to your question. Do you have any sisters?

Dear Tom: I'm dying for romance of any kind. Since we women can't count on men to be genuinely romantic anymore, can't we step it up? What's wrong with us holding the door open for a man on a date? Why can't we pick up the tab?

 Progressive

Dear Progressive: Sounds good to me. Why don't you swing by around 8 p.m.?

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