Why we can’t get Michael Jackson out of our heads

These are the lyrics that had been playing over and over in my head since my Monday morning weight-conditioning class in Pacifica. I had played the song during cool down, fulfilling a request for Michael Jackson music that came more than a week ago. Because I don’t often buy or download music, and because most radio stations had stopped playing his songs, I had forgotten what Michael had really meant when he sang “Man in the Mirror.”

So, I spent the entire day singing three lines from the same song, without ever knowing what they meant. While some will tell me the obvious (just look it up next time), I had tried to avoid Michael’s lyrics or videos because I had wanted to believe that I was above all the Michael-mania. The California budget crisis, the violence in China or Iran, should be the big news, I told myself. Not some public memorial for a troubled pop singer.

Besides, if any song should have been stuck in my head it should have been “PYT.” I had to practice to that song countless times during my cheerleading audition at Radford High School back in the ’80s. I was sure I’d never want to hear it again.

Instead, I spent most of Monday singing three lines from “Man in the Mirror” in the shower, in my car, and at home, in front of my son and nephew. Over and Over.

I’ve been a victim of

A selfish kind of love

It’s time that I realize

What was I suppose to realize? Had “selfish love” referred to Michael’s own selfishness, or the selfishness of others? On some level, I already knew the answer: the words could apply to both self and society. But I still couldn’t get the lines out of my head. I refused to click on a Michael Jackson video, determined not to become one of the statistics showing how EVERYONE clicked on stories related to Michael Jackson.

Finally, as the clock ticked way past midnight, I succumbed to my “inner demons,” and looked up the lyrics.

I’ve been a victim of

A selfish kind of love

It’s time that I realize

There are some with no home

Not a nickel to loan

Could it be really pretending that they’re not alone?

Michael had been talking about our need for compassion. “Make that change,” he tells us at the end of one of his concert videos. He was asking us to start with the person in the mirror.

I”m starting with the man in the mirror.

I’m asking him to change his ways.

What change should look like, and how and when it should happen, is the part of the equation only I can answer. Just another reason why I’m glad we can’t get Michael Jackson out of our heads.