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Christian Bale will end his run as Batman when the Dark Knight Rises hits theaters July 20, and while his performances have been critical and financial successes, the actor reveals it wasn’t love at first fit.

“I think the very first time I put on the suit it was at the audition. It was Val Kilmer‘s [from 1995’s Batman Forever] so it didn’t fit very well,” Bale said at a Sunday press conference for the film. “The claustrophobia was just unbelievable. I stood there and I thought, ‘I can’t breathe. I can’t think. This is too tight, this is squeezing my head. I’m about to have a nervous breakdown. I’m about to have a panic attack.'”

Before the actor let the initial rash of discomfort overpower his impulse to take the role, he took a step back. “I asked for 20 minutes by myself,” Bale said. “Since generally people are around asking what it feels like … So I asked for 20 minutes and I stood there and thought, ‘I’d really like to make this movie.’ I have to get through this moment. So I just stood there by myself.”

Over the years, he got used to the second skin. “In the same way Bruce Wayne improves the suit, we improved the suit for comfort,” Bale added. “And I could rip it off myself if I did in fact see stars.”

As for the last time he donned the iconic mask and cape, the Oscar winner followed similar protocol. “[My last scene] was with Anne [Hathaway] as Catwoman on a roof in New York. I was wrapped but they still had a few days on the movie,” Bale said. “I just went down, sat in a room, and realized, ‘This is it.’ So again, I asked if they could please leave me alone for 20 minutes. I felt real proud that we achieved what we had set out too. [This character] changed my life and changed my career and I just wanted to appreciate that.”