natural hair

Now that I have a head full of curls, I can’t imagine life (again) with relaxed hair.

Two years ago, my dermatologist suggested that I go natural due to the scalp issues I was having. My first thought was, I don’t want an afro! There’s no way that will look good on me! After going 12 weeks without relaxed hair, I decided to take the plunge and grow out my natural hair.

I’ll be honest, the transition was a struggle.

Trying to style two different textures of hair was difficult. There were many mornings I cried because I had no idea what to do with my hair. After hours of watching YouTube videos & getting pep talks from my natural friends, I did the big chop.

There were many mornings I CRIED because I had no idea what to do with my hair. After hours of watching YouTube videos & getting pep talks from my natural friends………………….I did the big chop.

I was nervous about how the world would perceive me.

After a few weeks & the right products, my outlook changed. I felt more confident and even experimented with cuts & color. Here’s why I love my natural locks over relaxed:

A Little Frizz Isn’t Bad

Now trust me, I love the look of defined curls, but I don’t get bent out of shape when my 2 or 3 day wash and go starts to frizz a little. In fact, other natural curly haired girls will tell you that they actually prefer their hair after a few days.

The curls mask the frizz and it isn’t a complete loss.

I Can Air Dry (A Big No No With Relaxed Hair)

One of the things I always hated about going to the salon with relaxed hair was the endless drying time. Having a head full of thick hair meant at least an hour or two under the dryer. Now I can style my hair and go about my business. It’s so freeing!! If I go the beach or happen to get caught in a little drizzle, my life isn’t completely over. I can make it work!

Curly Hair Has Magical Powers

I don’t ever remember styling being that easy with relaxed hair. In fact, water was my arch nemesis. Now I can hop in the shower without a shower cap, and (walk briskly) to my car in the rain.

And the best part is, if I ever miss my straight hair, I can always straighten it, or experiment with wigs or other protective styles (which I do rather frequently).

I Can Wear Different Kinds of Curls

Rollers, Rods, Curlformers, Coils…the list is endless! Who knew that curly hair was so versatile! My curls can be manipulated into a particular style, or I can wear them wild and free.

My Kids Can Identify With Me

And last but not least, my girls can identify with their mama. As a mom of biracial kids, this is probably the most important one to me. We don’t really focus on our differences, however, we choose to celebrate the things we have in common.

And our curls definitely bind the three of us together (sorry hubby!). People used to ask me, “are those your kids?” when they were babies-I guess because of the stark differences in our complexion.

Now when they see my little curly haired squad together, no questions are asked.

As a mom of multiracial children, it has been a challenge to find the right products to help me care for their curls.

I have naturally curly hair myself, but it is a very different texture from both of my children. Finding the right products has been a costly and at times, frustrating venture. I’d love to help take the frustration out of your routine. Just call me the mixed chick hair whisperer and keep reading.

Understand that Biracial actually means Multiracial

Don’t make assumptions about the hair. Just because the child is mixed with two races, doesn’t mean that their hair isn’t infused with all the other genes in their bloodline.

Parents with thick wavy hair can produce an offspring with thick, kinky curls.

Detangle, Detangle, Detangle (while wet)

I cannot say this enough. Curly hair loves water. Never try to detangle curly hair while dry (ouch!!) Often naturals talk about finding a conditioner with good slip.

Slip means that the conditioner aids in detangling and glides through the hair.

Curly hair tangles easily, so having a night time routine to reduce tangles is essential.

At night you have several options: braid or twist hair, put in a pineapple (basically a high pony), or sleep with a satin cap.

Find a Good Conditioner (Leave in and Wash out)

Curly hair naturals talk about co-washing all the time. This basically means washing hair with conditioner instead of shampoo.

I still love the way shampoo cleanses and makes my daughters’ hair feel clean, but there are several days in the week when I simply co-wash.

If your child suffers from a dry, itchy scalp, then a conditioner with tea tree oil may do the trick.

Don’t Fight the Curl, Embrace the Curl

I have heard of many women who are at a loss with their (multiracial) daughter’s hair.

Find products that make the curl come to life naturally instead of finding ways to straighten it. When you find a good conditioner, the curls will respond by spiraling.

Add Gel

How do you know which gel works for you? The right gel holds your curls in place gently without residue. Gel is a wonderful tool for curly girls to add shine, hold & definition.

It has gotten a bad rap over the years, but it’s a wonderful tool to keep the frizz away, and to give your style staying power.

The wrong gel will flake and make the hair hard.

Moisturize, Moisturize, Moisturize

A good deep conditioner once a week is a must, especially when your hair seems to be lifeless and lack moisture.

Hot oil treatments are also a great way to bring moisture into dry hair. Simply heat the oil of your choice (I love jojoba, almond & coconut) in the microwave for a few seconds, pour over your head and let it sit for at least 20 minutes.

Sitting under a hooded dryer will ensure the oils penetrate the hair and scalp. Then wash out.

Recently I’ve discovered a fabulous line of oils, Mammoth Oils.The wonderful thing about this brand is that it combines several natural (avocado jojoba, coconut, olive, castor, argon & almond) oils so you don’t have to!

The creator of the brand is multiracial and she couldn’t find what she needed in a product, so she created her own!

Want to try out this brand for yourself? Enter code CURLYKIDS for 15% off at check out.

Don’t be Afraid to Experiment!

What works for one multiracial person, will not necessarily work for your child. There are a ton of products on the market and it’s often hard to make a decision. Check out YouTube for videos and tips.

Beauty by Lee, Taren Guy & Mahogany Curls are great ones to follow.

Subscribe to Beauty/Hair boxes

There are several companies that make monthly subscription boxes full of products specifically for curly haired individuals.

The boxes are full of a variety of product brands in full and sample sizes. This allows you to try different products for $25-$30 a month without going broke and purchasing products that don’t work.

Are you a total loss when it comes to styling your child’s curly hair? Purchase my e-book, The Frustration-Free Guide to Curly Hair to answer all your curly hair questions + get a guide to products by curl type!

Mixed Chick Hair Dictionary? What is this you ask? Well, having curly hair puts you in a category all by yourself. Since becoming natural, I’ve had to learn several new terms myself. If you are raising “mixed chicks” or children of other ethnicities with curly hair, there are a few terms you ought to become familiar with. Here’s my cheat sheet for you:

*This post contains affiliate links. I am only recommending products that I use and love!*

If you’re newly natural or have multiracial children with curly locks, you’ll appreciate this post. I’ve come up with a list of my favorite conditioners and I tell you why they’re so amazing.

Why conditioners and not shampoos you ask? Well, my fellow curly girls know that conditioners run out before shampoos because they are a staple. The right conditioner gives your curls life.

February 2016 was my 2 year anniversary of being natural AKA nappiversary. I think my natural journey has helped me understand the needs of curly hair, hence the name of a previous post The Mixed Chick Hair Whisperer. You think I’m over exaggerating?

Curly hair has a mind of its own. Good products, like conditioners, can tame the beast.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have the coarsest, tightest, thickest texture of my girls. My oldest has tight, springy curls and the youngest has loose wavy curls. Thankfully if a product doesn’t work for me, usually it works on one of them.

My name is pronounced Day-dra. I’m often told that my name is spelled wrong.

Then I give the history lesson on my name.

Diedre, Deidre and all other forms are derived from Deirdre. I know my name isn’t spelled phonetically, but neither are several other words in the English language.

I decided to write this blog because surprisingly, there aren’t many like it. I’ve had to do my research when it comes to hair care. Both of my girls share the same genes, but their hair is very different.

I’ll be touching more on this topic in future posts as well.

I’ll talk about what I’ve found works, as well as what hasn’t been as successful.

Since giving birth and getting back into the real world (braving shopping trips with a child), I’ve been asked the weirdest questions. One of which sticks with me. Is that your daughter? I mean for real for real, is that your daughter?

I was innocently shopping in Tj Maxx and had approached the check out counter. The young black guy proceeded to ask me at least five more times if my daughter was indeed my daughter. Never mind the fact that she was clinging to me and calling me mommy.

Then he finally said, her daddy must be light skinned. I wanted to say, get a clue! However, my shopping time with my daughter had expired as we approached nap time. I took to Facebook to rant.

I am a black woman married to a white man, and together we have two beautiful daughters, Melody & Daphne.

I’m 33 and have been married for 7 years.

Thankfully we live in a college town, so I don’t really have to think about the fact that we’re in an interracial relationship-I just get to enjoy being married to the person I love.

I think it’s interesting to me how people feel the need to say everything they are thinking. But there are so many successful biracial individuals in the world today (Alicia Keys, Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, Israel Houghton, Tia & Tamera Mowry, Lenny Kravitz & President Obama).

I wonder if they get questioned about their identities.

I was raised on an Air Force Base, so biracial and multiracial identities were the norm for me.

In fact, if you were to look at my circle of friends, you would see a rainbow. I do remember being in classes with people who were not raised in military families-for them interracial relationships were not the norm. Some of those people were hyper focused on people who were biracial.

They would often say things like, “What are you mixed with? You know black girls’ hair is not naturally that long.

” I guess I believed that too about black women. But I’ll save more of those thoughts for another post.

I look forward to your thoughts, suggestions and happy thoughts as I give this blog life.

What topics would you like me to cover?

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Diedre Anthony
Lifestyle + Mom Blogger
Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

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