Beware The Sperm-Jacker

She is aware of your ability to support

A woman who is looking for someone to father her child will not be interested in one who can’t seem to afford a new pair of shoes. That’s not to say that the sperm-jacker’s in it for the cash, but for peace of mind she’d much prefer a solvent backer. If she’s well aware that you’re, say, a junior accountant rather than a college student, you may want to consider her motives.

She is an older woman in a young person’s playground

The sperm-jacker knows that in order to increase her chances of getting pregnant and accomplishing her goal, she needs to select the most fertile partner possible. Perhaps she’s already tried with men her own age and older, and now is hoping to find a guy with a much healthier sperm count, so she focuses on places where young men hang out.

don't get sperm-jacked

Many women reading this might be thinking: "Don’t flatter yourselves, boys." But the fact remains — thanks in part to books like Pols’ — that there is a growing number of women in their mid- to late-30s who are single, childless and hell-bent on satisfying the belief that every female is entitled to having a child of her own even if she can’t seem to make a relationship last more than a couple of months.

The idea, we gather, is that women who are career-minded, successful and generally in control of most areas of their lives might never actually have a baby unless it is by accident. So, this concept of "accidentally on purpose" somehow justifies her decision to have an unplanned pregnancy, without even considering letting the guy in on it, by calling it a subconscious desire. This is so selfish and conniving that it’s difficult to take seriously, and it’s also exactly the sort of behavior that sets the women’s movement back about 50 years.

Keep in mind that this article is not meant as a reflection on the “deterioration of our social fabric” or any other highfalutin nonsense like that. It’s not a condemnation of women, and it certainly isn’t an attempt to place men on any kind of moral pedestal. It’s just a simple warning to all of you who don’t already know about what seems to be a new, very real threat. Beware of the sperm-jacker; you've been warned.