“There’s little porn for women What you Think?

Kalki Koechlin isn’t Bollywood’s latest sweetheart. Neither is singer and actress Monica Dogra. But they are dangerous darlings; they’re a work of art with teeth. The following piece is a dual interview, a recording of events where their voices became voices of reason. The subject was feminism; not encumbered by detail, or priced for retail. We were measuring the distance to be crossed. It was an enchanting view witting with Shaa’ir (Monica) and Bunnyteeth (Kalki). They’re beautiful girls with ecstasy eyes, politically incorrect and strangers to lies, they’re cake with no flies, they’re lows with some highs; sisters. Picture this; picture untied hair, runway shoes, cold salads, watermelon juice, cappuccinos, talking to fans, not talking to fans, being a girl, being profound, being plain stupid, accents, relaxation, lights, summer, being clicked, smiling, a no to air-kissing they aim for the cheeks. So we talked about feminism for a while. Excerpts…

Feminism: The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.
Monica: That sounds about right.
Kalki: Yes. But I hate labels. You’re separating women and men. The word is in fashion but not its intention. There is great symbolism out there, and honestly, it goes a long way. It encourages say an NGO to take interest in the girl child. Girls getting educated. But I say, educate both the sexes. You can’t let them divide you as a young people. The propose should be equality, in more than just opportunity.
Monica: I agree. As much space for her as there is for him. A symbiosis. Feminism is about reprise. That’s why we need it. It’s about making up for lost time. When you injure something you have to mend it, heal it. It can’t come around on its own. We won’t just arrive there. People repress people. Women repress women.
It needs a kick in the ass.

Do you ever feel patronised being such successful women?
Monica: I don’t think I’ve been patronised.
I speak from the fraternity that I am a part of. These days, the idea of beauty is synonymous with being “voiceless”. Should you have a voice you’re considered the lesser for it. Bodies trump voices. The moment you try to change that, you are seen as assertive, or aggressive, or difficult. The most progressive man in India still has a long way to go.
Kalki: (Laughs) I find it hard to take myself seriously for the most part, so I don’t expect people to either. This is a very intolerant society. Honestly, there’s so much we have to be for other people we stop being ourselves. I do what I want to do and how I want to do it, within reason. It’s the most natural thing to happen. Because human beings have to be able to express themselves. Take that away from people, and what’s left?

Are you tired of having to be strong as a woman all the time?
Kalki: (Laughs) Today, yes.
Monica: Oh! me too.

The girls were talking about the Fashion Week that they were a part of. Monica had a recording to get to. Kalki on the other hand wanted to jump into bed and watch a sappy movie or something. Feed her cat. “Dosa”, that’s what she named him. The other one who ran away was “Masala”. Talk about nutters.
Kalki: I’m tired, but I love what I do. I’ve taught myself to just turn off. Switch off the cellphone. I let go. The fight is not always on the battle field. We may be public figures but a girl’s a girl. I don’t want to wake up every morning and head into battle. You can’t blame a woman for being herself. But we’re labelled.
Monica: When I’m not tired, I pursue things that tire me. Sure there are days when I feel like a hamster on a wheel. But I’m not where I want to be in my career. I’m a working musician. Right now, I have a solo record coming up. But I love films; acting. I want to pursue that.

Let’s talk porn. As a kid it made me wonder if women even enjoy sex. They’re objectified out and out. Looking back, I was ashamed of myself.
Monica: No, I don’t think so. When I was at New York University (NYU)I didn’t know a single girl who masturbated. They wanted to meet a nice Indian boy; that was like a goal of some sort. So there was a need to stay away from stigma. And it’s true in a lot of homes. So I mean porn isn’t in the open.
Kalki: A lot of the porn is for the men. There’s very little porn for women. Wonder why it is so! (Laughing) Let’s go home and watch some porn. Porn for women, because everything has to be equal.
Monica: Lesbian porn! What say?

Women’s rights are human rights. The right to live like humans. Does biology play a part?
Kalki: Biology plays part in the confusion even though it’s not obvious. Forget freedom of speech for a second. Certain words are frowned upon like ‘nigger’, ‘cunt’, ‘dyke’.
Kalki: I’m very politically incorrect. I say go for it. Because that’s how you remove the stigma. Okay
I have to pee.

Should I order you another coffee or something?
Kalki: No, no. (Laughs) We just had salad and watermelon juice. You have your coffee. Make a milkshake in your tummy.

So Kalki walked off and I got a moment with Monica. She was still slouching. And madam had removed her John Lennon-esque glasses which I was planning on stealing. She told me where she bought them from; prized information I’m unwilling to share. Kalki came back. But Monica never stopped talking. They even touched hands. Unusual stuff, girls actually loving each other.
Monica: I feel like being her (pointing to Kalki) sister. People are so quick to pull things down. It takes such courage to put yourself out there. It’s become a trend to call out people in power. One needs a shift in ethos. People who rise usually go quiet. She has risen and she’s still vocal. That’s amazing.
Kalki: (Looking at Monica) Thank you. Like they always say, “There’s no greater artist than a dead artist.”

Do you ever resent the way women are treated or objectified?
Monica: (Laughing) To sum it up, it’s never been said that 10,000 people flocked just to see me shake my ass.
Do you need chivalrous men?
Kalki & Monica: (Unanimously) No.

Name the things that women need like their wedding dresses need a tear.
Monica: (Ponders a lot) Boxes.
Kalki: It’s the same as what men don’t need; what people don’t need. Fake medicines that don’t work. Lies, deceit, violence, shitty food. Starvation.
Monica: I hate this query.
Kalki: You can’t list things like this.
Monica: It’s like name your autobiography.
Kalki: I know. (Laughing) Bad writers. Women don’t need bad writers.

Shall I add Bono to the list?
Monica: God why? I love Bono. You don’t like Bono? Did you see the Oscar performance? It was so beautiful.
Kalki: I missed the Oscars.

What is it harder for you to be? Actress, wife, daughter…?
Kalki: Actress I guess. People who love me don’t have great expectations from me. I don’t perform for them. They love me. That unconditional love is why things are understood at an emotional level.

Mon, what is the effect of a generation of pseudo-feminist women portraying themselves as weak on a social media platform by using false victimisation methods to garner sympathy through likes and comments?”
Kalki: God that’s a long question.
Monica: I didn’t comprehend anything. Say it again, slowly. (After reading it back to her) I honestly don’t think much of these things. These are sensitive times. There have been injustices against women. People are touchy. It’s important to not take things personally.
Mosquitoes were circling overhead like vultures. It was time to go home. The lights were lit. Evening was falling fast, this would be a night to last; we were leaving behind the past of bad things and unbecomings. Monica hugged us tight left; the kid had some singin’ to do. I asked Kalki to drop me on the main road. This one puts her feet up on the back seat, says “I drive only on Sundays,” and wears a hat. Then, she smiled like she always does. Like diamonds are the purest form of carbon, she’s the purest form of goofball. No matter how stunning they are, people forget they’re just girls; they’ve seen what you’ve seen: moments of sweetness and hard grief. I always reckoned an extremist’s notion of feminism was an atomic bomb unwilling to be disarmed. I could see the fractures, and the reason why the spring even unwound. I’ll end my piece by doing something writers don’t do, define love. Solely because I love them. It’s an extraordinary kind of love. Painters have muses, I have them. And they have the world. I guess we all have favorites; and they are mine. The dictionary says love is a noun. To me it’s no longer a noun, its ear rings and wedding gowns, hair-dye in Vandyke brown, don’t look like a clown, fix your teeth with a dental crown, it was smile darlin’ don’t frown. Because love is a verb. Kalki and Monica is the proof you need. As I played REM’s ‘Man on the Moon’ at a window at Café Peter Donuts while writing this on rainy Thursday afternoon, I couldn’t help but recall what Grandma Stipe told Michael Stipe about what REM meant to her She grabbed his hand and said, ‘‘Remember. Every. Moment.”