Fans of the U.S. Soccer will recognize fullback Oguchi Onyewu, aka Gooch. Gooch presently plays in Belgium and may soon make the leap to the EPL. Not that you care, of course.

A more likely reason for you to care: the woman in these pictures, whom Kickette claims is Onyewu’s wife, Salome. Her apparent order of preference for clothing: soccer jersey, bra, hands, then (in last place) any other kind of shirt.

According to Wikipedia’s entry on Salome, “Christian traditions depict her as an icon of dangerous female seductiveness.” And for once I gotta say, way to go Jesus & Co. Those are way better Christian traditions than burning books and opposing Darwinism.