Dalai Lama Says He Isn’t Worried About A Trump Presidency, Needs To Check His Fucking Male, Living Deity Privilege

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*Ed. Note: My laptop was stolen by my cousin sometime today during Thanksgiving while I wasn’t paying attention. She’s a freshman at Oberlin, and currently extremely drunk. Throughout the day she’s been alternating between telling me that my very employment by TFM is a microaggression against every woman in my family (especially her), and asking me to shotgun beers with her. It’s been a weird day, but fuck it we could use content, so here’s her news story about… whatever this is.

ULAANBAATAR, Mongolia (AP) — Exiled Tibetan spiritual leader the Dalai Lama said Wednesday he has “no worries” about Donald Trump’s election as U.S. president and expects the businessman will align his policies with global realities.

Pfft. Yeah. Great, man. Must be realllllllll nice being a living god (not to mention a MAN) and not having to worry about, oh, you know, just THE WORST WORLD LEADER SINCE HITLER. And yeah, I am including Stalin, Mao Tse-tung, and Slobodan Milošević in there, mostly because I have little to no idea who any of those people are and would be even more out of my element discussing them than I already am wading into the topic of National Socialism, a term I just learned when I googled “What is Nazi?” And you know what? Throw Justin Trudeau in there too, because I personally believe he’s Canada’s Patrick Bateman. He’s too handsome (and a MAN). I don’t trust him. That guy’s igloo is full of nothing but unreturned video tapes and severed Ottawa prostitute limbs. Write that shit down and wait.

But back to my point. Guess what, Dalai Lama, not everyone has had the pie in the sky, easy AF life you get to lead, K? While you’re living it up as Asian Jesus or whatever, we’re in the fucking trenches over here. What kind of microaggressions did you have to deal with when you were in college, BRO? Because I walk around my campus in the middle of a RED STATE having wonder things like which MEN I pass by want to make it anywhere from slightly to decently harder for me to get the birth control that my dad pays for, and also a bunch of other stuff. Guessing you never had problems like that, did you?

What do you know about oppressive regimes, you mansplaining religious nut? Huh? HUH? We got an all timer over here. I can feel it. Though I’m sure, as a man, you’d LOOOVVVVEEEE to explain to me how my feelings — which I will not belittle by backing up with solid examples that aren’t based mostly on hypotheticals or unsubstantiated claims — are wrong. Meanwhile I’m sitting here waiting for all my minority friends to get shipped off to camps. If I could, I’d send my white friends to those camps instead. Because that’s how much I care about HUMAN BEINGS. What do you know about that? And don’t try to tell me performing fake magic on sick people or whatever it is you do counts. Come at me. Explain what you stand for and I will jump into the comments on that post and rip you to SHREDS, friend.

Glad you’re not too worried about Hitler 2.0, D-Lams. Must be nice. Though last I checked the Nazis didn’t really pry into business in your part of the world in World War 2. I don’t know what was happening there, back in the 40s, but it sounds pretty peachy compared to Hitler, let alone Trump..

Rob Fox (né Bacon) is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. Rob is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co

Dalai Lama doesn’t believe he is divine, lol Buddhists don’t even believe in a supreme being, and yes Donald Trump may be an asshole/terrible person, but who gives af as long as he has good policies (which he does) he’s going to be 10x better than Hilary ever would have been, but all things considered even Hilary wouldn’t have been as bad as hitler/kim jung ung ect..