Question

I didn't have a shower for my first baby -- can I have one for my second?

Share

I had my first baby out of wedlock and didn't have a shower. Now my husband and I are expecting our first child together. (He has a child from a previous relationship, too.) Is it okay to have a shower for this baby, even though she'll be our third child?

Mom Answers

I'm having my second baby in Nov, I'm planning on throwing a meet the baby shower. I'm really just hoping for diapers since I'm now in school and unemployed. (I was employed when preggers with my first). Honestly I don't think it is tacky, but if you are uncomfortable I would use the suggestions from pposters and let people know you don't need/want gifts.

I can't believe the cattiness of some of these women!! Saying such rude things about people having second showers! I know someone who's second child is a different sex than her fist and also got rid of all of the essentials before conceiving this child due to moving a lot. There was a lot that she needed so both of her mothers threw her showers. She got a lot of stuff which was good because she didn't have much money and needed a lot. I think it is waaaayyyyy more tacky to "snicker behind someone's back" or "make them the object of internet jokes" than it is to celebrate a new life. Do these ladies know how envious they sound?

I believe that as you should be able to have a baby shower if you want one. In response to the person who wrote it is tacky, I think you are tacky to have that opinion. You have no idea what people are going through in their lives. I am getting ready to have my third baby. I am having a shower because when I had my other two, I was married and he made good money. But, he was abusive and when I finally was able to leave him, I had just a few minutes to get everything forme and my kids. I found out that I was pregnant again at a domestic violence shelter. So right now, I am unemployed with 2 kids. I have nothing for this baby and need to have a shower so that I can get the basic things this baby will need until I am able to work again. So before you judge someone as being tacky for having another baby shower, maybe you should find out why they need to. And, some may just want to celebrate the life they are creating with people they love and care about. Ever think of that?

I would figure you can have a baby shower for your 13th child if you wanted. I never thought of the shower as being only for the firstborn. Every baby is a celebrated event, so I think you should have another. There are many things that people don't want to reuse for every child, so just put those types of items on your registries and you'll be good to go. Just make it known what you plan to keep from the last baby by leaving those items off of your registry/wish list. When it comes down to it, a shower is a celebration of birth, not designed just to get good gifts, and EVERY birth is a big deal and should be celebrated just like the first.

Congratulations and of course, you may have another shower. While I believe it's perfectly acceptable to have more than one shower I thought we consult and expert.
I think most of us can agree that Emily Post is pretty much a manners expert. If you peruse her website you will discover that it within the proper social etiquette guidelines to throw baby showers for second and subsequent babies as each child deserves a celebration and the parents will have needs each time. However, only very close friends and family should be invited as well as those who did not attend the previous shower. Since the original poster never had a shower she should feel free to include anyone she likes.

You should have a baby shower no matter how many Children you have!If your friends and family want to celebrate the birth of your child, more power to them!! The people who say it's tacky must not have the support of friends and family like the rest of us do! I didn't want to have a sencond shower becasue my kids are only 2 yesrs apart... but my friends and family are throwing one anyway. If you don't have a party for your second child think of the questions down the road about the baby books =) "mom? why did you have a party for my sister being born and not me?" I say celebrate EVERY child!!

I am expecting my second child in November and was approached by family about having a baby shower for my upcoming blessing. I was thrilled because I had passed on so many of the baby items that I recieved with my first child that the thought of starting all over was very overwhelming. My cousin also just had a baby shower for her second child. I think it is important to celebrate the special event and the joy that is to come, even if it is a Pampers Party to supply the mom to be with the essentials that all babys need; regardless if they are the second, or the seventh. A new baby is very expensive and if family and friends want to "shower you" to help with that expense I see nothing wrong with it.

What women &#8220;think&#8221; or &#8220;feel&#8221; is irrelevant. In a society where anything goes, it's not surprising the women posting know little about proper etiquette. It is inappropriate and considered gauche to have a second baby shower. Period. MANY single, infertile, and close relatives silently resent baby shower's for second and third babies. Since the women on this board &#8220;feel&#8221; the world owes them gifts, supplies, and a party for a second child, it doesn't surprise me where we are at today as women. No class,
and no clue.

I think it's fine. I'm pregnant with my second child...my children will only be 3 yrs apart (& the same sex) and I will be having a diaper party but my sister in law plans on putting on the invites that if my attendees would like to buy a gift also, I'm registered at two different places. One of my friends thinks it's selfish and not right, but like I told her eventhough it's been only 3 yrs, I'm out of the loop of baby stuff and there is so much out there that wasn't out then. I don't expect anything from anyone, but I know if my friend were to have another child, I would def buy something for her/baby and that a registry would help so I don't duplicate on something she may have from a previous child. I say go for it. Most women love to buy for babies and every once in a while you have a crabby person that may be against it...but it may just be more jealousy rather than being truly against it. Who really is against buying cutesy little things for a baby?!?

I think it's fine. I'm pregnant with my second child...my children will only be 3 yrs apart (& the same sex) and I will be having a diaper party but my sister in law plans on putting on the invites that if my attendees would like to buy a gift also, I'm registered at two different places. One of my friends thinks it's selfish and not right, but like I told her eventhough it's been only 3 yrs, I'm out of the loop of baby stuff and there is so much out there that wasn't out then. I don't expect anything from anyone, but I know if my friend were to have another child, I would def buy something for her/baby and that a registry would help so I don't duplicate on something she may have from a previous child. I say go for it. Most women love to buy for babies and every once in a while you have a crabby person that may be against it...but it may just be more jealousy rather than being truly against it. Who really is against buying cutesy little things for a baby?!?

This Internet site provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional. Please review the Terms of Use before using this site. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use.

This site is published by BabyCenter, L.L.C., which is responsible for its contents as further described and qualified in the Terms of Use.