A little about Sunshine

Sunshine....AKA me Cary. Therapist by day Princess by night. I am a Southern girl that was raised in the country but has a heart that belongs in the city. I am still a big ki. I love Jesus. I have a big imagination, big dreams, and big plans. I am a nerd in disguise. I am a book worm, lover of all music, and watcher of many movies. I love to travel and induldge my adventurous side. I enjoy being alone and I love people. I secretly want to be a writer. Whatever I end up doing, I know I can do anything with Jesus in my heart.

Nothing. Nada. Nothing
I know what you are thinking.
Cary, you had an answer to a prayer
and you let the opportunity pass.
Why?
Well I have only one word for you.
FEAR
I am scared.
I am afraid of rejection and judgment.
I am afraid that I will be older than everyone there.
I am afraid that will think it is weird for me to be 30,
but still have not accomplished much with my life.
I am afraid that I wear my past where they can see;
very much like a big scarlet letter A.
I am afraid that they can see my insecurity.
I am afraid that they will sense my desperation for something different.
I am afraid that they will judge me for being over weight.
This list can just keep going.
I know what else you are thinking.
I was not given a spirit of fear.
The fear is the devil stilling my joy and my opportunity.
Knowing it and believing it is two very different things.
Trusting God is something that I am working on.
Depending on Him to walk through the fear is a goal.
Being honest about it is a step.
And He continues to teach me things every step of the way.

**The event that I missed is not a one time thing.
So maybe you will pray with me for the courage to step out of my comfort zone next time.

Well let me tell you what has been on my mind.
I am in a rut.
For as long as I can remember I have been a thinker.
I am constantly thinking, questioning, analyzing, and wondering.
My brain never shuts down.
I am always questioning my motives...
Why did I do that?
Why can't I let that go?
What am I doing wrong?
I mean for the love of Pete....when will it stop.

I have come to a realization.
I am always questioning myself,
but I never challenge myself.
I can always find what is wrong,
but I never focus on what is right.
I have spent enough time thinking.
Now it is time to do something.