If you have "land, rope swings, samurai swords or any cool shit," this $15,900 dirt bike could be yours. According to the seller, they're "a small price to pay to get fine ass bitches."

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The listing in Beaumont, Texas titled, "need a chick? buy this bike!" is for a 1992 Kawasaki KX 500 with no motor. That's not a problem, as all you have to do is lie that it was damaged "jump[ing] 11 school busses" and "you'll be motor boating in no time." Having never claimed to have gone Evel Knievel over 11 school busses, we cannot verify the veracity of the seller's claim.

A "Lego collection, star wars shit or ps 2" will not be accepted for trades because, "chicks don't like that shit."

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So why is the seller getting rid of this rad dirt bike? He claims to have "landed an actual real live chick," so he no longer needs the service of his two-wheeled testosterone booster.

The full text of the ad follows below.

Dating scene rough? Chicks love dirt bikes and this is one of the baddest ass bikes around. We're talking about a 1992 Kawasaki KX 500!! Yeah yeah, there's no motor. No big deal. You just put it in the back of your truck and tell the girls the engine is getting redone because you jumped 11 school busses with it. Done deal and you'll be motor boating in no time. Or you could sit on it, use the self timer function on your camera to take an Awesome Facebook profile pic....that'll get the bitches too!

you might ask yourself, "Why would this guy sell such an awesome babe magnet???" Well, I landed an actual real live chick (born a chick too) and don't need this monster anymore.

I'm pretty firm on the price of $15,900. That's a small price to pay to get fine ass bitches. But I am open to trades...but dont come at me with your Lego collection, star wars shit or ps 2.... chicks don't like that shit. Mainly interested in land, rope swings, samurai swords or any cool shit.

You can find a copy of this totally convincing listing here once it goes down.