10 of the Craziest Porn Movies Ever Made

Here’s ten of the most fucked up XXX titles ever produced.

Balloon Popping Sluts is an hour and an half of sexy girls playing with and popping balloons. For some folks, who are known as “looners”, this type of smut is all they need to get off. The sight and sound of brightly colored balloons being stretched, bounced on and eventually popped puts them over the edge. Balloon porn is real…and there’s a whole lot more people that are into it than you probably think.

Cap’n Mongo’s Porno Playhouse is all the proof you need that the human race deserves to be made extinct. Imagine all of your worst nightmares come to life in a porn movie and you would have this movie. Clown threesomes, midgets, old men dressed as pirates, etc. GOD IS DEAD AND I HAVE THE PORN MOVIE TO PROVE IT!

When I came across Choke My Chicken, I scream-cried for an hour. This is an entire porn movie centered around the concept of a man dressed in a giant chicken costume going around and getting blowjobs from various women. It’s pretend barnyard porn and I don’t know if that’s better or worse than real barnyard porn. I need a hug…

You won’t go to jail for watching incest-preggo porn…but you’ll probably feel like you should after you watch it. With a title that sounds like it should be an episode of Law & Order: SVU, Daddy Made Me A Mommy actually happens to be one of the best selling pregnant-themed XXX movies of all time. Just sit there and think about that last sentence for a few moments.

Have you ever laid awake at night, fantasizing about fucking a dead old woman? Well, God heard your prayers and made you a porn movie that is terrifyingly relevant to your interests. Dead Tired is the story of a creepy looking young guy who has his way with a past out/possibly dead grannie.

Jesus fucking Christ, more chicken-man porn. But worse. Because this time, the dude dressed up like a chicken is joined by an angry midget, a super-fat woman, the world’s “hairiest pussy” and a whole bunch of other things to make you hate your parents for not aborting you when they had the chance. No amount of therapy will make you better after you’ve seen this.

If you’re of the opinion that porn should include power tools, duct tape and jumper cables, Love Hurts is the XXX movie for you. This is “fetish” taken to places that would make most ordinary humans shit themselves and run away screaming. But not you, you sick little fuck. This is exactly what you need in your life. PASS THE BLOWTORCH AND VASELINE!

What could possibly make a porn movie better than one that features Wee Man from Jackass? Oompa Loompas. Duh! Midgets On Wheels also gives you the opportunity to watch a roller-skating small person get all kinds of fucked. You should absolutely gift this to your dad on Father’s Day.

So what we have here is a double-feature porn movie that features a super-powered midget woman who wears a cape made out of feathers followed by Bridget the Midget getting gangbanged by a bunch of sad-looking older dudes. This is what happens when you pay that homeless meth addict who sleeps behind the Wal-Mart to write and direct a porn movie.

There’s a lot of fucked up shit that happens in The Weird, Strange and Ugly 2. Assuming that you’re still watching after seeing the latex-clad midget gimp getting sucked off and the hairy, old, tattooed woman getting plowed, you get to enjoy a goddamn mime showing up and fucking a woman with a bunch of bananas. HAIL SATAN!

About this list of fucked up porn movies…

I’m not saying that the ten XXX films listed here are the most demented or terrifying porn videos of all-time. Trust me, I know there’s far worse things out there (I write about them, too!). But I think you’ll agree that these are some of the craziest/insane porn movies ever produced.

And if you do plan on watching any of the movies listed here, I’d recommend that you don’t do it alone and watch it with the lights on. Because this is some seriously scary shit, man.

What do you think?

Assuming that you aren’t slitting your wrists or reporting my website to the police (wouldn’t be the first time), what are your thoughts on the ten messed up porn movies listed here? Have any of you actually seen any of these gems? Tell us all about it in the comments below.

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