tuesday is a joke /
played on those not quite prepared /
the same game again

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

fast-forward idol: sweet home chicago

it's truly fast-forward idol this week. i've downloaded about fifteen different players and rapidshare files and things i'm sure will clog up my computer like a nasty new york sewer in order to do something that seems quite remarkable to me: watch last night's episode on one side of my computer screen while i blog about it on the other side.

*note: last year, the female judge who was not paula abdul was labeled newbie on this blog. she not so new no mo.

random contestant: "i believe i have what it takes to be america's next top model" ftw.

by the way, do we think not-so will end up making out with the twainster?contestent #1. caitlin someone. all she's got is divorce. mom & dad used to come to every performance together, this is the first time he's not there. deadbeat. okay, if dad divorced mom because he's gay, or because he's got down syndrome or something caitlin's got a chance. otherwise it's back to corn fields.

despite my snark, i like her.

simon cowell asks the question anyone who's been through divorce asks (or wants to ask): "who are you siding with?" caitlin sings a duffy song. well. choo-choo is nodding. "i think you've got a voice that could sing a hit song," she says. choo. please. today, martin luther king, jr. has a voice that could sing a hit song. the judges put her through in anticipation of what good tv it will be when they get to show caitlin's mother and father sitting in the audience together. crying.

f-fwd.

contestant #2 (and maybe 3): amy lang. well, i know her friggin' name because she sang it three times. this is what my nephew thinks of when i tell him i'm in theatre. these are the people he thinks i hang out with. amy lang and the cast of glee.

charity vance. 16 year old, from arkansas. she's been singing in the beauty parlor since she was 8. (they have beauty parlors in little rock.) okay, pretty white girl walks into the room and the big black guy lets out a kind of oogy, husky "yeah, yeah." sick randy.

charity is a bit of a riffmeister. with a tiny, but sweet voice. which is perfect, 'cause she's a sweet and tiny girl. simon cowell wants to sign her to a record deal right now. or have dinner.

f-fwd.

next up, the really bad people, the people dressed as animals and brides, and the people who swear at the camera!

angela martin. remember her? she dropped out last year 'cause she had a court date for a warrant. maybe third time's a charm. "i've seen a lot of dreams die, but i would never give up." i am totally buying her story. singing a mary j. blige song that is a perfect, perfect choice. put this girl through again. and of course they do.

f-fwd.

day two in chicago. "this is a town of big talent," says blandy jackson. "jennifer hudson...kanye." these are the two big talents from chicago that spring to mind for blandy.