We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder. It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.

Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!

Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!

I'll bet you could charge extra if you called it a Neapolitan burrito!

Some mornings when I wake up, my MS sucks, and I can't stand because my legs just spazz wildly and I fall down. My apartment is not even remotely handicap accessible, and I can't afford ones that are, so that means I end up eating candy/whatever is within reach of my bedroom, crawling to the bathroom when I can't hold my crutches, and generally wasting a day in bed. To me, that seems like something worthy of getting mad about...

This guys inability to open the burrito, mix up the ingredients, then re-close it successfully, a task I've witnessed my 4 year old nephew perform, is not something he should be mad at other people about.

p51d007:Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled. The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body. I've just about sworn off fast food. If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it. Got a few in my neck of the woods. Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF! Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING. Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.

In my neck of the woods, halfway down our body is how we wear our pants. God help me if I ever see anyone wearing them 100% up or down their body.

While the writer has a point, he is mistaken the burrito guy is working for him. Burrito wrapper guy is working for Burrito Corp Limited.

Burrito Corp Limited probably wants Burrito Wrapper guy to make a single burrito in X time so X burritos in one day can be made.

In an attempt to be more efficient at his job, burrito wrapper guy learned that instead of moving eight things eight inches, he learned he can be more efficient by moving eight things about an inch at a time.

While that worked great for Henry Ford, it does not work so well for guy who has to eat said burrito.

I would say the burrito maker could be a genius in the wrong line of work.

Dear Author - Your website is disabling the use of my "Back" button. You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this browserbomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

Dr Dreidel:vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.

If you want to earn more than minimum wage, learn a skill more complicated than "burrito rolling".

// doonitrite?

You should add "All food service workers who are not master chefs at their own Michelin 4-star restaurants* should be ashamed of what they do for a living, and should consider themselves lucky that I only stiffed them on the tip, and not set them on fire while they sleep!"

Living in So Cal, sometimes you do get the occasional segregated burrito.but you don't see me slamming the burrito down in a fit of rage on the coffee table while my friends are eating and seeing the whole thing explode into burrito shrapnel simultaneously catching the plate of shake for rolling & sending that out to cover the floor, friends & burrito fallout.

They are gassing people in Syria, interest rates are rising, and Miley Cyrus is frightening the crap out the kids by twerking on MTV. Just deal with your damned burrito and let it go man, let it go....

Igor Jakovsky:This why I only get my tacos/burrotos from this little kotchen at the back of a Mexican grocery. The tortillas are made fresh onsite. The veggies are grown in a garden out back and the meat comes from beef or chicken that is farm raised and slaughtered daily on site. The things are assembled by little old Mexican ladies who don't speak English.. You have to order in Spanish or you're out of luck.

Id tell you where it is but its hard to find because it doesn't have a sign out front. You really have to hunt for it. Best Mexican food EVAR.

Also, once you find the place, a little chime plays. You get to keep the bottle the burrito comes in, to put Poes, or insects, or medicine, or whathhaveyou in.

Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled. The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body. I've just about sworn off fast food. If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it. Got a few in my neck of the woods. Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF! Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING. Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.

Living in So Cal, sometimes you do get the occasional segregated burrito.but you don't see me slamming the burrito down in a fit of rage on the coffee table while my friends are eating and seeing the whole thing explode into burrito shrapnel simultaneously catching the plate of shake for rolling & sending that out to cover the floor, friends & burrito fallout.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder. It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.

Then why not just hand the customers the ingredients? Why bother to assemble it at all if you don't have to bother doing it right?

While we're on the subject, fark the retarded fast food workers who squash the assembled burger. I know you like your buns packed, that doesn't mean everyone else does.

I laughed several time. The mental image of a person trying to bite down on a burrito lengthwise and the gut-shot burrito comment especially made me laugh. And while we're on the subject of poorly made Tex-mex: the hard taco is a failure of engineering. Soft tacos are great, but hard tacos are bullshiat. I have only one option when eating a hard taco; tilt my head to 90 degrees and hope for the best. fark all the noise, I don't eat like a nursing calf.

xalres:Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

Fart_Machine:Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.

Yeah, I also saw the disclaimer. However, having been one to write rants like these (in private emails, mind, you) it's clear that his experience was real so he's writing from fact rather than just making stuff up. I thought it was pretty funny, mind you, but the disclaimer wants me to say tpo the guy hey, you can't have your farkin' burrito and eat it, too. You were angry. Just let it out, man!

Right, the burrito jockey must be an idiot. It isn't possible that a low paid employee working a tedious and mind numbing job just plain doesn't give a shiat. Never worked retail or food service? Punch in the face. Have worked there but now that you don't anymore, act like you never did? Much harder punch in the face.

A) FatandB) Doesn't really have much important going on in his lifeand hasC) Anger issues

get over it, dude. it was a horrible burrito. mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.This has been a commercial.Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.

Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

If you go out for food you get what you get, maybe not what you deserve, but as I've been assured in many a tipping thread, it is a food workers sacred right to fark up your food. Just be glad he did not piss, shiat, or jack off into it.

I'm pretty sure this guy's penchants for going off on rants about tiny things contributed to his terrible burrito experience. People who make minimum wage are capable of remembering the problem customers from one visit to another. Barely, but they are.

They are gassing people in Syria, interest rates are rising, and Miley Cyrus is frightening the crap out the kids firefly by twerking on MTV. Just deal with your damned burrito and let it go man, let it go....

Seriously, I saw that shiat a week later on the news... I feel traumatized.

A) FatandB) Doesn't really have much important going on in his lifeand hasC) Anger issues

get over it, dude. it was a horrible burrito. mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.This has been a commercial.Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.

A) FatandB) Doesn't really have much important going on in his lifeand hasC) Anger issues

get over it, dude. it was a horrible burrito. mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.This has been a commercial.Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder. It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.