I Am Inexplicably A Douche

There
is no denying that I was generally a pretty selfish and self-serving
kind of person or in the parlance of the day a (air quote), douche,
(close air quote). Generally, though I was doing it for some sort of
reward like a girl, or a grade, a trophy, or to take a shortcut to
having a good time. There was one time after school though when I was
going past the chemistry teacher's classroom and a kid I knew from
Santaquin had just finished taking a makeup test and put it on the
teacher's desk. He was a bit of a goofball but basically an okay kid
so I don't know why I did what I did next. I went into the classroom
took his recently completed test off of the teacher's desk and took
it with me. My friend asked me why I took it and I told him something
which wasn't the truth because whatever it was did not explain why I
was being such a jerk for no reason. On the way home I took the test
and tore it up into little pieces and threw them out of the window.
Later that afternoon when the acid haze of douchebaggery had passed
from my mind I tried to figure out why I had done that, but there was
literally no reason. To this very moment I'm not sure why I took that
kid's test, I mean I don't even think it was to be funny or anything, it was just a random act of un-kindness.
I felt a couple times like I should tell them what happened or at
least make up some legitimate sounding excuse as to why I had thrown away his test but I never
worked up the courage. Once again, total class act on my part.