Sanford surrounded by women with whom he is not having sex., Courtesy of Twitter.

Maria Belen Chapur, the former mistress and current fiancée of garrulous, peripatetic ex–South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, granted an interview to, we assume, the lone publication to ask her for one. In a conversation with Infobae, an “Argentine multimedia company where she writes a column,” according to Politico, Chapur revealed some amusing, somewhat salacious tidbits about her continued relationship with the current South Carolina congressman.

First of all, it’s not about the money. (Psst! Maria: we said “power”—not “money.”) “It’s not about the money,” she said. “I can tell you that a governor makes $108,000 a year and from this you have to deduct a third in taxes, so from this he can’t even pay for private school for his children, without of course help from family or a fortune from before. And on the other hand, in the United States, you go to jail—there’s no bribery. You get compensated in another way.” Thanks to the Draconian no-bribery laws of this terrible nation, Mark Sanford, whose job requires regular votes on issues of public education, can barely afford for his children to attend private school.

But then again, it takes a morally invincible person like Sanford to dedicate his life to a selfless $108,000-per-year profession when he is gaining so little—$108,000 to be specific. As it happens, Mark Sanford is exactly this sort of morally invincible person: the sort of guy who sends a Christmas card to his future mistress even though they were not having sex at that time. Prior to the 2008 commencement of History’s Greatest Love Affair, “it was strictly friendship,” according to Chapur, who had known Sanford, the Petrarch of Beaufort, since 2001. “In fact, I would get a Christmas card with their family photo.” There you have it! “Happy holidays, from my family I am willing to destroy to yours. Love, Mark Sanford.”