Pastor Terry Jones of the Dove World Outreacht Center in Gainesville, who originally made plans to burn Korans on the anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, has changed his mind. After Attorney General, Eric Holder, called his idea “idiotic”, Pastor Jones realized that he made a mistake. “I’m a moron for coming up with this idiotic idea.”

The rest of the world agrees with Pastor Jones.

Then, somehow, Pastor Jones actually had a good idea. “I’ve decided that there should be a day when we kick all the morons we know, just to let them know that they are morons and that they should stop being morons so the rest of the world can function properly. I think kicking a moron is a good way to let a moron know he (or she) is a moron.”

Pastor Jones said, “let the kicking begin with me.”

So on September 10th, Pastor Jones, invites people across the country to “kick-a-moron” between 6 pm to 9 pm. Pastor Jones, who wants to be called Moron Jones on September 10th, is inviting morons in Florida to come to Gainesville to kick morons on his church property. “Jesus would approve of this,” Pastor Jones said. “God created morons, of course, but Jesus said, ‘let the morons be kicked.'”

Many officials in Washington and New York are planning to go down to the Dove World Outreach Center to kick Jones. “I can’t wait to see the moron who came up with the Koran-burning,” said Eric Holder. “I intend to be first in line to give him a swift kick in the butt.”

Pastor Jones said that kicks should be focused on the butt and shin, but some Muslim-Americans are planning on giving him a good roundhouse kick to the torso. “If they can do a roundhouse kick, then they are welcome to do so. But, please only one kick per person.”

You do not have to go do Gainesville to kick Jones; you can kick a moron in your area on September 10th. Lindsay Lohan’s publicist said that Lilo will be in hiding on September 10th, “so don’t try to find her to kick her, she won’t be available.” Meanwhile, Lilo plans on kicking her father, Michael Lohan.

Members of Congress have hired security guards to protect them on the 10th. They know they are the biggest morons in the country – except, of course, for Pastor Jones.