I am a small brown bear
.... navigator, tissue-issuer, steely eyed spy,
football fan and Agony Uncle! Now that you've found me, sit back, relax, sip some tea and dunk a biscuit, and let some Bearissity into your tortured life. Ahhhh. See, better already, isn't it?

WARNING: This blog is ritten in Bear English, wich is phonetic. An that is mor than yu can say abowt the werd "phonetic".

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Gills: yes, we playd Rochdale (full nayme: Dale Ov Stinkin Wretches) an wewer winnin but then they eekwalized so it waz 1 all in the end, the cheetin scum.

Simpsons: yes!

Tesco: no

Nose Hugs Surprizisity Score: 9/10

Day Score: 7.62981/10

HULLO NOT-A-BEARS!

Well it haz fynerlly got cold rownd heer! At the weekend we had snow. It settold for a wile but by the end ov Sunday arfternoon it waz all gon. I waz WELL mifft abowt this, as I wantid to get owt an play in it, an if I haddent had to go to cherch wiv Daddy (unlike serten gerls rownd heer I cud talk abowt, hoo lie arownd in bed all Sunday mornin bein pagans) I wud hav had a charnse to go an mayke a few snowballs. NO FAIR!

Enyway. I mannidged to get sum fotoes for sooveneers at leest. I took theez wuns from my bedroom windo.

Blakberds in the snow, eetin under the berd-taybol. Daddy rusht owt an gayve them extra treets arfter I took this. He did a mixcher ov froot, seed, oats, bred an fat, an wizzd it up in a food masher masheen so it waz all crums. They luvd it!

Anuther cheeky chappy tryin to keep warm.

Brrrrrrrrr!!! On sekund thorts, maybe it waz just as well I dident get to go owt thare!!

Wun thing that keeps yu warm is larfter, so I hav gatherd a few jokes for yu today. I hope yu mannidge to chukkol yorselfs a bit warmer!

Q: Wat do yu call a donkey wiv ownly 3 legs? A: A wonky

Q: Wat mayde the octopus larf? A: His ten tickles

Q: Wat do yu call a deer wiv no eyes? A: No idea!

Q: Wat do yu call a donkey wiv 3 legs an 1 eye? A: A winky wonky

Q: 12 cats on a boat, wun jumps owt, how menny left on the boat?

A: None, they wer copycats!

Q: Wat do yu call a deer wiv no eyes an no legs? A: Still no idea!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope they warmd yu up a bit, but if this diddent werk, try dubbling up on yor underpants. Wa-heyy! Thare's nuthin like a kwodroopol gusset to warm yer cockles!!!!!!

11 comments:

hey Bob....we haven't had much snow yet either....which is getting to be more normal round here... is it climate change I wonder? It is pretty balmy too...+12C yesterday,...could have gone golfing if the courses were open...closed for the season. Hope I get to use my new snow shovel.....soon... and, it better darn well snow for Christmas or I'll be ticked. I want new snow for the festive season!!... although I have to say I don't want the roads to be horrible...better add that bit.....

it hardly ever snows at the seaside! We have to go and visit my sister in the midlands or go to the Lake District if we want any, and take a bucket to put it in. We don't have a lot of success wiv this method tho.

I love your jokes! I bet you've heard this one....

What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? - Doyouthinkhesaurus - tee! hee!

Watch footie on the internet:

Thank you for your visit. Bob's off for a dam' good frolic now:

A note on "Bear English"

Some people have written to me to say that they can't read my blogs cos ov my Bear English. We do spell some things differently, mostly phonetically. Sorry. We also say 'der' for 'the' and 'dat' for 'that'. To try to make it easier for you, I am now trying to remember to use "th" insted. But my oldest posts will stay mostly in the original Bear English.... Please "BEAR" wiv me. If you can't read me, please come back wiv a good strong cup ov tea an a choklit biskit, an try den! I mean THen!
(It's the polar bear influence, you see, because in Icelandic the 'th' sound is spelt with a 'd'.)