14 Apr An Open Letter to My Savior

I have to be honest. When I think of Holy Week, the first thing that comes to my mind is long weekend. I’m really sorry. I still remember clear as day that Sunday School lesson when I first heard and understood the gospel at nine years old. I remember that first youth camp when I recommitted my life to You after I heard our youth pastor share about The Cross so graphically.

For the first time, I understood the depth and breadth of your sacrifice even more.Fast forward to career life and family life, Holy Week has become more of a long weekend agenda for me instead of a reflective one. I was so excited about this year’s Holy Week that I thought it was a week earlier, padding our grocery seven days in advance! Only to find out from my husband when I was done that Holy Week wasn’t that week.

Being the kind and gracious God that You are, You probably laughed at me. But You probably shook Your head as well realizing that I missed the point again. I’m sorry, Lord. I’m sorry that I’ve reduced this week to a mere vacation week. I may have taken the time to leverage Holy Week to teach my son about Your sacrifice on the cross over the past years but I haven’t taken that much time to prepare myself.

I haven’t forgotten the sacrifice You’ve done and I never will. But I confess that I have become more appreciative of what this fleeting world offers. I’ve looked sideward instead of looking upward more. Forgive me, Jesus, for diminishing Holy Week to an extended break rather than seizing the opportunity to reconnect with You and using that to fuel our relationship every day.

My heart cries out, asking You to make Your sacrifice real and true again. I want that burning passion from more than two decades ago. I want Your death and resurrection to influence my every thought, word, and action. I want to be reminded daily that I am just but a sinner saved by grace so I can look at people and serve people with the same eyes of compassion You have for me. From my closest family member to the most distant stranger, may Your unconditional love, forgiveness, and grace be channeled in and through me.

Thank You, Jesus, for Your forgiveness. You are the reason why I live. Thank You for not backing out despite knowing the degree of pain and suffering you were about to face to save us. The past few days I’ve been reading different versions of your prayer in Gethsemane and how You’ve struggled to the point of sweating blood.

You could’ve taken the easy way out. You could’ve disappeared into thin air and went back to heaven because, truth be told, none of us is worthy of Your sacrifice. I know my own sins, how rotten I am inside. And I am absolutely certain that I don’t deserve Your sacrifice. But You thought otherwise.

I will never fully understand it. I will probably ask You that when I see You someday. How can You love me this much? How can You unconditionally forgive me this way? You saw what I did, heard what I said, read my shameful thoughts, dissected through my motives, and I could make a strong case for how unworthy I am. BUT STILL. YOU CHOSE TO LOVE ME AND SAVE ME.

How humbling it is to come before Your throne. How grateful I am to be forgiven and saved by You. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You that Your love and grace never end. Thank You for thinking of me when You died on the cross. Thank You for erasing my sins once and for all. Thank You that You didn’t stop there. Thank You that with Your death and resurrection comes sanctification, the daily journey and process of becoming more like You.

Help me to bring the cross with me wherever I go. Help me to never lose sight of what You did. Help me to be excited about my salvation and the opportunity to share it not just during Holy Week but every single day. I know that the burning passion will not always be there and there will be days, as expected, when I will forget.

It takes a daily commitment to fix my eyes on You and Your grand plan while not losing sight of the mire You saved me from—and what it took You to bring me to where I am now in our journey together. Give me the grace to keep my end of our commitment, to remain faithful in good times and bad.

I know You will always remain the same and You have done more than enough in our relationship. I’m the one who deviates, You’re the One who aligns. I’m the one who falls, You’re the One who picks me up. Help me to lessen my deviating and falling and be stronger in my walk with You.

Thank You, Jesus. Thank You for Your reservoir of grace and mercy. Thank You for Your immeasurable, illogical love. Thank You that Holy Week isn’t really about one week but about one lifetime. It is a one-time event that changes the entire life of the person who comes face-to-face with his/her sinfulness, believes in the true salvation that You offer, and fully embraces Your forgiveness and eternal life. Your death and resurrection didn’t just change me once, it still changes and humbles me today. And for that, I am forever grateful.

Thank You, Jesus, for being my one true Savior and Lord. Thank You for showing me grace upon grace. I love You, Lord, with everything that I am—imperfections, battle scars, and all. Thank You for loving me in spite of me. Thank You for Your salvation. For without it, I wouldn’t even be writing this.