“Your video sucks, Us Magazine”

Looking for videos of Tyra Banks being self-obsessed, I stumbled upon this video by Us Magazine called “The Perfect Bikini for Your Body.”

I trust Us to give me reliable celebrity news, but I now know that I cannot trust them to give me advice on which bikini I should wear, because despite the title they gave to this video, none of the bodies shown were like “your” (my) body.

Maybe I’m feeling particularly snarky because I didn’t work out today and the media’s pressure on me to be thin/my own insecurities are making me feel guilty for not doing so, but I think Us’ video is pathetic. The majority of their readership’s bodies do not look like the bodies shown on the video — skinny and athletically toned — with small waists and even smaller curves. If you are trying to connect with your audience, a surefire way to not accomplish that goal is to show bodies that are not relatable. This un-relatableness is not only in the visual, but it’s embedded in the language as well through the title they chose to use. The pronoun they use — the “your” — does not match up with the noun it stands in for, the referent — me. So here’s one back to you, where the noun and the pronoun really do correspond: “Your video sucks, Us Magazine.”