It’s casual Friday here at the old cubical ranch. This means I’m sporting my black Pumas and jeans. The wrong jeans, the jeans that I thought were grabbed are nice, clean, and not at all slutty. But somehow I ended up at work in bar jeans. The ones with the hole right below my ball sack.

I’d take a picture but, I really don’t want someone to casually walk into my cube asking if I’d seen the Doughnut man woman, to catch me holding my iPhone in one hand and my manly over sized testicular sack in t’other. Not really, anyway. Me thinks this may be a “work from home” day. As I walk out with my bag over the Stevie Fun Zone. My fuzzy squirrel friends peeking out to see if there’s six more weeks of winter.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The former CEO of Qwest, Joe Nacchio who ran the communications company for a chunk of the western U.S. had his insider trading conviction reinstated today. A jury convicted Nacchio in 2007 of 19 counts of insider trading. Federal prosecutors alleged Nacchio sold $52 million worth of stock at a time when he knew Denver-based Qwest Communications was at risk while other investors did not. Nacchio could be ordered to begin serving a 6-year prison sentence.

Now why do we care about this? Besides the retirees who lost huge amounts of their retirement due to the down turn of Qwest. I’ve been following this story since it started in the court. And, every photo or video show Nacchio grinning away with that damn dead cat on his head.

Could this be the worst toupee ever? Does that rotting kitty fool anyone? So, every step in the judicial process gets me more excited for the day he heads to prison. That means he has to surrender Fluffy as a deadly weapon. I’m giggly with excitement. The big COE getting his comeuppance.But seriously, don’t sell your multimillion dollar stock right before your companies’ economic downturn. That’s bad. Also, don’t waste your nights lurking around the alleys of Denver for cats to glue to your head. That’s really bad.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I getting tired of news this week. I’m like you, on DirectTV’s channel 104 flipping through the news channels like a video game. Every newscast, every talking head, and every NPR topic is about their take on the stimulus bill. Fox News was blaring in my works lobby; today some overweight white guy was screaming that:

“Obama has set up a chain reaction that will cause dogs and cats to live together, Hall to put out another album with Oates and blood to rain from the sky!”

Well, that’s what he meant anyway. That’s why I’m so happy that Rupaul’s Drag Race came to rescue me from reality.

I love this show; Rupaul is cute like a 7’ bunny. But, today I saw on the Feast of Fools forums that some site has the results and posted who won. A site called The Drag Queen Posse is trying to spoil the fun by stealing Rupaul’s thunder. Seriously? You’d think that as Drag Queens they would want to honor the mystery and elusion. When one of these Drag Queens comes onstage do they say?

“Welcome to the stage………Ralph!”

No. No they don’t. And yet when this site has a chance to run a spoiler, they do just for an instant to feel bigger than Rupaul. When I was eight, I snuck into the living room weeks before Christmas and opened my presents, when I opened them for real on Christmas morn; man the excitement was just completely gone. I’m going to watch every episode and I can’t wait to find out.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Sometimes you have a thought shoot through your head like “Damn I’m old!” This happened this weekend when I was watching Logo. Clicking away at my Mac I had Logo’s music videos blaring away in the background. At some point I happened to look up at a video that I liked. I soon realized that I had no idea who the girl was but, as I watched I was transfixed by the dancing. “Wow, she’s good. I hope she makes it.” As it ended I watched for the artist and title:

Beyonce – Single Ladies.

Great. Maybe is should come out of my Punxsutawney Phil like den every once in great while and see what’s going on. Man cannot live on Colton Ford and The Pet Shop boys alone.

Saturday we attended an African Drum and Marimba concert. I later realized how good it was, as I never took out my IPhone to check Dead Robot's or anyone else’s blog. I never even went onto the The Feast of Fools.net to check the forums. It must have been a good concert. I guess ADD boy was placated.

Sunday BFFCarl and I met Michelle and her dauther, little Raven at the Denver Zoo. A baby Giraffe had been born and Michelle wanted to bond. Super Kawaii! As we walked towards the "non-exciting" part of the zoo Michelle turned in casual conversation and mentioned:
"Did you hear about the Buffaloes killed by an airplane?"
Me- "Uh what?"
"I guess fifty Buffalo where killed when a plane crashed on them."
Me- "Uh what"
"Poor Buffalo."
Me- Uh what....Are you sure you don't mean, fifty people where killed when an airplane crashed in Buffalo....New York?"
"Well as long as the buffalo are okay."

All in all it was a pretty great weekend of hanging out in Denver. Now it’s back to the Cubical.

Friday, February 20, 2009

I thought I’d share images from the Internets:

First is an unusual sculpture showing a large boulder smashed on top of a car on a round-a-bout near Walsh Bay on Sydney Harbour. (Photo credit GREG WOOD/AFP/Getty Images) Now, the funny thing is this is a daily occurrence in Colorado. Yet this is a sculpture in Sydney.

The second is a good friend of mine from Failblog:

Oh yea!

I snapped this yesterday on my long daily wait to get home:

Finally is a plug for Dalton James' art auction going on right now on Facebook:

He's selling a collection of these pieces to move the hell away from NYC. If you need some amazing art for your wall, take a look. Now ya have to go onto Facebook, and you have to be a friend of Dalton James' but it will be worth your time. Tell'm StevieB sent ya!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Isn't it comforting to know that Texdot is keep us informed on the herd migration of zombies?

Ya know, I saw a "Keep Austin Weird" bumper sticker on a SUV the other day. I loved my KAW bumper sticker. Do I now need to do a Austin stop when we do our Texas State Fair road trip to pick up another sticker? Yes, I'm already counting down the days until Texas State Fair corn dogs!

[insert Homer Simpson*AAAAAAAAAAAAGH* here]

Let me know if you wanta meet up, how could you say no to deep fat fried Oreos?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Last Wednesday I decided to work from home. Somehow, my work laptop wouldn’t log into my home wireless. This lead me to destroying the porn delivering WWW box beyond repair. No World Wide Web for Stevie! Since then I’ve been watching the driveway for UPS to deliver the new DSL box. I nearly jumped the hottie in brown for my package.

Valentines day was pretty great. We spent Saturday until 3PM in bed watching all season four of Dallas. Exciting, I know! So now it’s Tuesday. Presidents’ day was pretty low-key, I was at the gym when a muscled up bear started cruising me pretty hard. I kept thinking,
“Why is this guy staring at me? Maybe he’s waiting for this bench?”
I love the 24-hour fitness on Alameda! Apparently 10AM is the Muscle Bear hour. Last Sunday morning I was at DazBog, sitting next to a gaggle of Queens. One said
“Let’s wait awhile, let’s give the Rrrrrrbears a chance to leave the gym.”

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Ah, the thrift store. Nothing better than the smell of poor people in the morning. We took a trip to our local Thrift-O-Mart last weekend. The new one on Broadway is kind of swanky. Here’s a lovely pic of the window display…..

Stunning, I know. Simplistic, yet early Target divine.

They had five copies of The Santa Claus. Just in case you need one, let me know I’ll pick it up for you, since you won’t be caught dead in a thrift store. Here’s a pic of Saggy butt Elmo…….

Ewwwww!

So in these economic times, we are in a recession ya know. Do you Thrift Shop? Would you admit it on a blog? Every time we leave this type of establishment BFFCarl turns and states "Can I get a handy wipe? I that too much, just a warm moist towelette?"

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Can I just say I’m starving. I’ve started a new diet plan to get back down to my fighting weight. I’m pretty much eating every two hours, not huge meals but every two hours I eat an apple, a handful of carrots, or six gallons of Jello. You know, the normal stuff. But the more I keep up the every two hours thing, the more famished I get. Last night I ate a full container of cottage cheese, six eggs, a grilled chicken breast, streamed broccoli and nearly took the dog's treats from his mouth. And still, I went to bed starving.

Monday, February 9, 2009

So, you can tell how I spent my weekend. In my wasted weekend watching You Tube MST3K, I can across one of the films which seamed familiar. If you're a geek who knows Denver history. Minute 8:44 is a street scene of Denver in the 1950s, it's Broadway at 11th ave. You'll see the 11th Avenue hotel on the right.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. -- Colorado Springs police are looking for a man who hit two 7-Eleven convenience stores early Wednesday, armed with a Klingon sword. The first robbery was reported at 1:50 a.m., at 145 N Spruce St. The clerk told police a white man in his 20s, wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and wearing a black mask, entered the store with a weapon the clerk recognized from the Star Trek TV series. The robber demanded money and left with an undisclosed amount.

A half hour later, police received a call from a 7-Eleven at 2407 N. Union Blvd., where a man matching the previous description entered the store with a similar weapon. He also demanded money from the store clerk. The clerk refused and the robber ran off. Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon type sword, called a "Batleth." Neither clerk was injured in the robberies.

Why, I ask is Colorado Springs so freaking weird!! I’m telling you, it’s the damn Focus on the Family headquarters. They’re driving the populous insane.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Man, the weather in Denver has been amazing this week. If I wasn’t such a pessimist I would be having some spring fever. All week in the 60s, and no snow to trudge through. Remember when I brought a four-wheel drive for the winters? Huh.

I officially lost the “Holiday Decorations” bet. This was between Captain Fuzz and me on when our quaint little town would take down the cities Christmas decorations. Not Holiday, but Christmas décor. Plastic trees and Santas bolted onto every street light. To quote Daria
“Yeah.”

I said that they would finally sober up and remove any trace of Jesus-feast by my birthday. Wrong! Still there! All sparkly and gay. And by that I mean Christ-like not Sodimite-like. Now I’m pushing for Valentine’s Day!

Please, white trash city leaders just hold out until V-day!! Just in time for the Cinco De Mayo decorations to be hung to every vertical surface on main street.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

We did watch the Super bowl on Sunday. There were a couple of us trying to figure out the whole heterosexual mess. We got that the Dusty Cranberries were vengeful towards the Goldenrods. When did they change the fabric make up of their tights so you can’t see Jock strap lines? Seriously?

So, we spent the remainder of the match tiring to figure out the scoring system. We decided that they got more point based on the amount of dancing they did in the colored zone. The more flips and gyrations the more points. Got it! It was like being stoned and watching Curling, we weren’t sure how the whole “inning” thing and yard thing worked. Mostly was sat and pick out our future boyfriends. Whilst eating pizza rolls. All and all it was pretty cool. Until Bruce Springsteen started bellyaching. Who picked him for the Half-time show? The overly made up Cougars in the “player’s wives section” they kept cutting too?

All in all we had fun. I ate way too much crudeta or veggie plate for all you non-footballers and, the goldenrods won by a…. by a… dancing end zone thing.

Monday, February 2, 2009

How was your weekend? On Saturday we went to Pappadeaux for a gay family dinner. Pappadeaux is one of those high-end chain Cajun type of seafood places. Although, Mike referred to it as river bottom food. Fuzz had a dozen Oysters on the half shell. I tried not to puke.

The Thirty-seven year old thing has settled in most ways, I did overextend my shoulder at the gym on Friday because two nineteen year-olds on the bench next to me. I put one more plate then they had on the bar. OUCH! But, I showed them!

I ran into the Leather Avenger at the gym. You know, you have a Leather Avenger at your gym. The guy who works out in a codpiece and jack boots. He’s the one you find on the cables wearing leather Wonder Woman wrist cuffs. He wished me a happy birthday but said that it was nothing compared to his Fifty-two years. He added,
“Last week I was at the bathhouse being plowed by a twenty year old. And he stopped and said is that hurting you?
So I said Boy I’ve got twelve rings hanging from my balls, do you honestly think you can hurt me?”

I smiled and back away.
When you Google Leather Avenger this is what you get: