Here Are 13 Scientifically Proven Signs That You Are In Love

Valentine's Day is approaching. You have a Valentine…but are you
really in love with him or her? With your head spinning from all
the heart-shape chocolates and red roses, it can be tough to
figure out. Fortunately, scientists have pinned down exactly what
it means to "fall in love."

Researchers have found that an in-love brain looks very different
from one experiencing mere lust, and it's also unlike a brain of
someone in a long-term, committed relationship. Studies led by
Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and one of
the leading experts on the biological basis of love, have
revealed that the brain's "in love" phase is a unique and
well-defined period of time, and there are 13 telltale signs that
you're in it.

1. "This one's special"

When you're in love, you begin to think your beloved is unique.
The belief is coupled with an inability to feel romantic passion
for anyone else. Fisher and her colleagues believe this
single-mindedness results from elevated levels of central
dopamine — a chemical involved in attention and focus — in your
brain.

2. "She's perfect"

People who are truly in love tend to focus on the positive
qualities of their beloved, while overlooking his or her negative
traits. They also focus on trivial events and objects that remind
them of their loved one, day-dreaming about these precious little
moments and mementos. This focused attention is also thought to
result from elevated levels of central dopamine, as well as a
spike in central norepinephrine, a chemical associated with
increased memory in the presence of new stimuli. [5
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3. "I'm a wreck!"

As is well known, falling in love often leads to emotional and
physiological instability. You bounce between exhilaration,
euphoria, increased energy, sleeplessness, loss of appetite,
trembling, a racing heart and accelerated breathing, as well as
anxiety, panic and feelings of despair when your relationship
suffers even the smallest setback. These mood swings parallel the
behavior of drug addicts. And indeed, when in-love people are
shown pictures of their loved ones, it fires up the same regions
of the brain that activate when a drug addict takes a hit. Being
in love, researchers say, is a form of addiction.

4. "Overcoming the challenge made us closer"

Going through some sort of adversity with another person tends to
intensify romantic attraction. Central dopamine may be
responsible for this reaction, too, because research shows that
when a reward is delayed, dopamine-producing neurons in the
mid-brain region become more productive.

5. "I'm obsessed with him"

People who are in love report that they spend, on average, more
than 85 percent of their waking hours musing over their "love
object." Intrusive thinking, as this form of obsessive behavior
is called, may result from decreased levels of central serotonin
in the brain, a condition that has been associated with obsessive
behavior previously. (Obsessive-compulsive disorder is treated
with serotonin-reuptake inhibitors.)

They also long for emotional union with their beloved, seeking
out ways to get closer and day-dreaming about their future
together.

8. "I'd do anything for her"

People who are in love generally feel a powerful sense of empathy
toward their beloved, feeling the other person's pain as their
own and being willing to sacriﬁce anything for the other person.

9. "Would he like this outfit?"

Falling in love is marked by a tendency to reorder your daily
priorities and/or change your clothing, mannerisms, habits or
values in order for them to better align with those of your
beloved.

10. "Can we be exclusive?"

Those who are deeply in love typically experience sexual desire
for their beloved, but there are strong emotional strings
attached: The longing for sex is coupled with possessiveness, a
desire for sexual exclusivity, and extreme jealousy when the
partner is suspected of infidelity. This possessiveness is
thought to have evolved so that an in-love person will compel his
or her partner to spurn other suitors, thereby insuring that the
couple's courtship is not interrupted until conception has
occurred. [5
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11. "It's not about sex"

While the desire
for sexual union is important to people in love, the
craving for emotional union takes precedence. A study found
that 64 percent of people in love (the same percentage for both
sexes) disagreed with the statement, “Sex is the most important
part of my relationship with [my partner]."

12. "I feel out of control"

Fisher and her colleagues found that individuals who report being
"in love" commonly say their passion is involuntary and
uncontrollable.

13. "The spark is gone"

Unfortunately, being in love usually doesn't last forever. It's
an impermanent state that either evolves into a long-term,
codependent relationship that psychologists call "attachment," or
it dissipates, and the relationship dissolves. If there are
physical or social barriers inhibiting partners from seeing one
another regularly — for example, if the relationship is
long-distance — then the "in love" phase generally lasts longer
than it would otherwise.