Saturday, February 26, 2011

Waiting for Superwoman

As I sit on my couch going over in my head all that I need to accomplish for the week...laundry, work, home school, science project, Home Link, walking with a friend, cooking, cleaning, more laundry, play dates, doctor appointments. This does not cover the usual parenting and discipline that happens through out the week and of course lets not forget the dogs, chickens and bunny that need to be taken care of and the most important person is my hubby. He does not require a lot from me anymore after 14yrs together, but he does enjoy time with me and well how else are we gonna keep this marriage alive.

So I ponder...I am waiting for Superwoman. Where is she and when will she get here? Is it the Proverbs 31 woman that we all envy and wonder if she is even a real person or a group of different women? Is she capable of leaping tall piles of laundry, whipping up a meal in a single breathe, can she sore over sour attitudes, negative thoughts, and pure exhaustion? Can she teach me to take time for myself? Can she fill in the gaps where I always feel that I am lacking?

Well there has been a lot of debate on how we can change the system. The battles lines have been drawn between Stay-at-home moms and working mothers. The walls have been divided between who's job it is to take out the garbage, cook dinner, take care of the animals, bath the children. We have fought long and hard. Bitterness and resentment have controlled our attitudes about these silly things in life. Divorce has conquered many of marriages over pride, stubbornness, and sheer selfishness.

Yet, today I sit here and enjoy the life I live. There is no doubt I am responsible for a lot. When I got married and began having a family I had a lot of expectations of how things "would" go. Then one day...sadly to admit 13 years into my marriage I realized my marriage is what I make of it. I am the mother and wife I choose to be. No one is making me do the laundry, cook, clean, parent, and take on all that I do. I have made the choice to do these things and it is up to me to do it to the best of my ability.

Now before all you working mothers freak out on me. I know that statistics show 78% of working mothers come home and still do all the jobs at home. There are of course those dads that stay home and take on all these responsibilities. Good for them! There are single parents who have to battle raising a family and providing for them all on their own. Keep up the good work I say! I think every family is unique and is required to do what works for the family as a whole. Whatever brings stability and love to your home.

If you work and are in constant "guilt" mode and come home with a negative and pissy attitude who is that encouraging. I say try and find a way to do what your hearts desire and make it work. If is to work then find a way to communicate about what you need to help relieve the burdens that cause all the negative thoughts. If it is to work Part time, stay home whatever you choose to do, find a way to do it to the best of your ability and find joy in it. Our children and husband did not start the fire they may fuel it but it is our job to find a way to put it out.

Now I know that people will read this and say "who is she", "what right does she have to say these things". I am not writing these things to pass judgement or to say that any one persons burdens are greater then or less than anyone elses. As I mentioned all families are unique and have to find what works best...so take the time to find that and put those plans into practice. These are just my thoughts and the freedom of having my own blog to journal and share.

One thing I have learned as I continue to grow is life is what you make it (and I still have a lot of growing to do...I am not perfect by any means). If you live in bitterness, anger, resentment, loneliness and so many other negative thoughts your life will become this (believe me I know this first hand). If you live with joy in your heart and an outlook on life that you are not alone you will have a better quality of life.

Be thankful, have joy, find happiness in what you have and do it to the best of your ability you will have life and you will love every minute of it (you may not like it, but you will LOVE it)! My husband does not like his job, we still live pay check to pay check, our schedule is crazy, but at the end of the day we LOVE our life and we love each other.

Now I will no longer wait for Superwoman to come in and save me, but I am thankful that I having a loving God who did save me and now I can rely on my faith and have grace, mercy, forgiveness, love, and the power of prayer to guide my every steps.