Discover ~ Awaken ~ Illuminate

Month: May 2013

Charting a new path to my longstanding desire/passion is not always a bowl of cherries. I think inspiring thoughts. Create big plans. Get all revved up and excited. Take a step into my big dreams. And then there is the dreaded Doubt Voice. Am I alone? Nope, I suspect I have lots of company.

Yesterday was the beginning of my fall. It started slow. Coffee. Meditation. Facebook…and more Facebook…and random email…read blogs I follow…and more Facebook…more unstructured randomness. Around 10 am is when the gnawing, creeping doubt quietly whispered. “What if this doesn’t…?” Doubt Voice inquired. “But you don’t have…” Doubt Voice insisted. “I don’t think you can…” Doubt Voice was persistent! “But you’re just sitting here…” chastised Doubt Voice. “Why do you think you…?” “You don’t have enough…” “Time is wasting…” Doubt Voice warned. “Oh, you might as well just do what you know that’s what you’re good at.” Doubt Voice struck a nerve. And I began to fall.

Falling. This isn’t new. I’m very acquainted with Doubt Voice. Planted long ago as I was learning to walk, Doubt Voice is an intimate. So intimate that I’ve had to work really hard to breakup with Doubt Voice several times (we have this complicated relationship). I’ve learned to be conscious and vigilant ‘cause Doubt Voice sneaks in—stealth-like—when I least expect it. And before I realize it Doubt Voice has moved and I’m falling. Yesterday’s fall started slow, but by nightfall I was hurtling down Doubt Voice’s dark tunnel of uncertainty, resignation, and disappointment. Sleep was my reprieve.

I woke up this morning. Doubt Voice greeted me. Coffee. Meditation. Faaalllliiinnnggg. STOP…PULL THE RIPCORD! “What is your plan today?” I demanded of myself. Huhhhhh?? Epiphany! I realized that as I’m charting a new path and creating something new in my life, I must have a plan every day; daily success steps to draw my goals closer to me. Without a clear, purposeful set of daily actions Doubt Voice will try to move in.

Ripcord? Okay you might be wondering what the ripcord is all about. A ripcord deploys the parachute that allows you to slow way down (when hurtling down the gloomy tunnel of Doubt Voice). The parachute is a lifesaver that enables you to purposefully decide where you want to land. I pulled the ripcord, parachute deployed slowing down ol’ gloomy Doubt Voice. I landed with a plan and a set of next steps to draw my goals closer to me. Don’t laugh, but I went and cleaned and reorganized the garage. Cleared my head of Doubt Voice, set my plan for the day, and got back on track to manifesting my desire and passion.

Whether you are building something new in your life or sustaining what you have created few of us are immune to Doubt Voice. My lesson today is this: Start every day with a clear, purposeful plan that draws my goals closer to me. I encourage you, if Doubt Voice has pushed you out of the plane, and you are rapidly descending, PULL THE RIPCORD! Deploy your parachute—slow down—set two or three success steps for your day or hour that draw your goals closer. Softly land, take action on your success steps, and wave goodbye to Doubt Voice.

Peace & Blessings~

Jenny

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Memorial Day is a day of remembering women and men who have given their lives for freedom. Today many have paused remembering fallen warriors. Some share stories with compatriots who’ve served on the field of battle; a band of warriors joined by a deep, indescribable experience. I remember. I pay homage. Remembering those whose sacrifice for freedom is paid in blood is an honor.

As we remember our fallen, we must also remember the memory-keepers; the families—spouses, partners, mothers, fathers, grandparents, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers who live with the loss of their loved one daily. We may not always remember that our warriors left behind families whose sacrifice is often unrecognized. When Memorial Day activities fade, our memory-keepers continue living without their warrior keeping her/his memory alive as we move on with our lives.

If you know of memory-keepers remember to reach out and give them support. How can you be of service the 364 days before the next Memorial Day? Honor our fallen warriors by honoring their memory-keepers with your gift of service. Honor and support the sacrifice our memory-keepers live each day.

Peace & Blessings~

Jenny

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Have you ever heard the statement “We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience?” If you’ve never heard it, you might find the statement thought provoking or off putting. The statement resonates for me on many levels. One way I understand this statement is that, as a Spiritual Being, I have all the tools to live a life of limitless, positive abundance.

In my Wednesday post, Negative Energy Eats Too. Is it Eating You?, I described a process to identify and begin to remove negative energy in your life. If you are reigniting your self-development journey or if you are completely new to a self-development journey, I believe an important aspect is consciously identifying where negative energy—either in our thoughts, words, or actions—is blocking us from creating a vibrant flow of abundance and positive energy. Think of it this way. If a person received third degree burns and doctors grafted new, healthy, vibrant skin right over the top of the bad burned skin; what are the chances that the new skin would thrive? Slim, right? Same scenario different outcome. A person is badly burned. Doctors, understanding new skin can only grow in a clean, debris-free wound, spend hours cleaning, washing, and clearing away any damaged skin. The new, healthy, vibrant skin is able to grow and thrive with proper care and nurturing grafted to a strong foundation.

Yes, this is a graphic example. But this is precisely why the conscious, deliberate exercise to starve negative energy is key to clear and create a space for vibrant abundance and positive energy. On my self-development journey, the work to identify, extract, and resolve the negative thoughts, words, and actions that were directed at me and/or that I cultivated and used against others took time, commitment, and sometimes courage to address.

My process involved systematically addressing the most destructive negative energy—energy that quite literally left me in a constant state of victimization, doubt, fear, blame, defeat, shame, and anger. Through diligent work and consistent practice overtime, I replaced the negative energy with affirmative, positive experiences, thoughts, and beliefs about my life and capabilities.

In my post, Negative Energy Eats Too. Is it Eating You?, I wrote about exploring three negative statements that eat at you the most using the three questions found in Challenging Negative Statements below. Affirming the Life You Want are replacement statements to the Challenging Negative Statements.

Challenging Negative Statements

Affirming the Life You Want

How does this statement limit my opportunities or dreams?

How does this statement stop me from experiencing happiness or satisfaction?

How does this statement enable me to stop others from achieving their dreams?

I am filled with infinite creative power to have, do, or be anything I choose.

Each day, in each minute I choose peace, Love, joy, and happiness.

I happily give my support to help others achieve their dreams. When I am in service to others, my gifts and opportunities increase abundantly.

Let’s explore an example of how this works. “I can’t believe how dumb she is!” We nodded agreement to Jack’s unflattering statement about our supervisor, Suzie. Working for Suzie seemed like a comedy of errors. Everything she wanted to happen ALWAYS seemed to fall to pieces. “I dunno,” Mary said quietly. “Maybe we’re so busy talking about her and tearing her down that nothing can go right. Sometimes it seems like our team blocks anything she tries to get done.” We all looked at Mary eyebrows raised. Mary continued, “I happily give my support to help her achieve her dreams.” The team was puzzled. “Well,” Mary reflected, “If I can gladly give in support of her dreams, I know that my opportunities multiply and I have abundance in my life. I’ve worked with Suzie for two years and I’ve been promoted three times. I firmly believe in having a positive mindset and always positively supporting her.”

The first step in our self-development journey—new or reignited—must be to identify and replace negative energy as it exists in our thoughts, words, or actions. Replacing negative energy with positive energy–words, thoughts, or actions—is an intentional, conscious daily habit like the Mary/Suzie example above. Setting the table for abundance is like grafting on new skin that will flourish and grow into a vibrant, positive life.

Peace & Blessings~

Jenny

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Traveling the road of self-discovery and personal development, we may spend our time cultivating positive thoughts, affirmations, and beliefs. All good, necessary, and purposeful work to become our best and highest self. But what if you’re not there yet. What if you’re just figuring out your personal development journey? What if you engaged self-development work along the way and fell of the wagon? Today, I thought it important and helpful to visit the power of negative energy, its importance, and the necessity to lessen its impact in your life.

It is absolutely critical to recognize that negative energy is pervasive. Watch 10 minutes of the morning, mid-day, or evening news to get a quick experience. Stand on a pedestrian-busy street and listen to the chatter—there is generally a lot of negative, limiting talk. In our daily lives, we are bombarded by negativity in many forms. The consistent barrage affects and influences our thoughts, actions, beliefs, and sense of possibility.

You might be experiencing negativity saturation in your work environment, personal relationship(s), or in your own self-talk. If you hear or use statements like “I can’t stand him/her… They don’t know what they are doing…He’s incompetent…You’re not smart enough to do…I hate this job…Why can’t you ever…Don’t you know how to do anything right…You keep screwing up…You’re stupid that’s why no one loves you…I will never get ahead because…If my parent(s) hadn’t been _______ I would be able to…. Bad things always happen to me because I’m…You’ll never be successful because you are….If I were just more _____I could do/attract____.” As you read these statements, you might readily fill in the missing words/statements. It is profound to connect with how many of these statements we use every single day or that are directed at us.

Negative energy is a powerful force. As you read the statements above get connected with your body’s response. Do you feel heavy or lethargic? Does your heart start to beat in a fight or flight response? Do you feel fear? Do you feel down or dejected? Do you begin thinking of retaliatory statements you would say back to negative comments/statements? This is an opportunity to recognize that negative energy eats; overeats really. It stuffs itself on the good and positive in you and leaves behind nasty, undigested toxic garbage.

Starving negative energy’s voracious appetite requires commitment and work. To get in touch with whether you are experiencing negativity saturation take time today to do the following:

Write a list of negative statements you use or hear that affect you in your work environment.

Write a list of negative statements that you use or that are directed toward you in personal relationships.

Write a list of negative statements that you say to yourself about yourself.

Spend some time reading and thinking about the statements you wrote. Pick three (one from each area) that eat at you the most or that your body reacts to the most. Take an opportunity to explore each negative statement with the following questions:

How does this statement limit my opportunities or dreams?

How does this statement stop me from experiencing happiness or satisfaction?

How does this statement enable me to stop others from achieving their dreams?

This is a powerful, conscious, deliberate exercise to starve negative energy. Starving negative energy and creating a space for positive energy to grow and thrive is an important step. YOU can develop the joyous, abundance filled life that you desire. On Friday, I’ll write more about this process, one that I have used in my life, to starve negative energy and create a bountiful table for positive opportunities.

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Thank you for all of the wonderful opportunities that surround and flow to me.

Thank you for the abundant resources that flow to me enabling me to be of service to others.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

This is a portion of my daily prayer. I’ve expressed some version of this prayer of thanks and gratitude for years. Acknowledging the guidance and protection of my Creator and Ancestors and giving thanks for everything in my life is a conscious act—really a habit. I’ve trained myself to be aware, recognize, and acknowledge when my Creator and Ancestors have opened the way for abundance to flow to me (in its many forms).

I’ve been studying the Law of Attraction. The Law basically says our thoughts are a form of energy. So whatever I intentionally focus on—positive or negative—the thought energy draws into my life. This is a very basic explanation (and I’m still studying). As I’ve studied, I’ve thought about the critique of the Law of Attraction. Essentially, if you have funky, negative thoughts, you will draw funky, negative experiences into your life. Check out this experience I had two hours ago that illustrates the power of positive thought energy.

My mail stack was almost a foot high. I’ve cultivated an aversion to opening mail since it’s mostly junk or bills. Last week I received a thick letter from the IRS. I had the good sense to open it–immediately. An IRS bill. I forgot, somehow, to claim some income. Guess what? I had a several thousand dollar DUE NOW debt to the US Government. I was momentarily bummed. My tightly structured budget didn’t have a several thousand dollar unexpected expenditure. More pressing though, I did not want to owe the federal government. I wrote the check. But before I mailed it. I thanked my Creator and Ancestors for the ability to pay the bill. I thanked them for the abundant resources flowing toward me. Then I asked for something very specific. I asked that the check I wrote return to me doubled in amount. I smiled and sent the letter along.

Mail stack was shrinking. I found a letter from my car insurance company. I opened it. A single sentence read.

The attached refund is a result of an overcharge adjustment which includes interest.

Unfolding the last 1/3 of the letter, a prayer of thanks flew from my lips–repeatedly. Thank you Creator and Ancestors for this wonderful gift!! A completely unexpected check for several hundred dollars. UNEXPECTED. I had inquired a couple of months ago about an increase in my car insurance payment. I didn’t expect anything other an explanation. Apparently the research revealed that I had been overcharged for several years.

While the check doesn’t represent the doubling of what I paid the IRS, I’m crystal clear that this check is a response to my prayer for an abundant return. A beginning. I hold the belief that my prayer of thanks and gratitude will be answered. It’s not up to me to determine when or how. I am to hold the full belief that the energy of my thoughts remain focused on the abundant resources I prayed to receive.

I share this experience as a powerful and hope-filled illustration of the habit of gratitude and acknowledgment in action. If you’ve ever had a similar experience, I would love to hear about it.

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Lucille, BB King’s legendary guitar, stole my ears and heart years ago. The blues riffs and love lost storytelling BB King inspires from Lucille’s strings sparked my interest to play the guitar. I’ve watched BB King, Eric Clapton, Odetta, and Tracy Chapman caressing guitar strings birthing wonderful melodies; it looked so simple. I could “air guitar” with the best of them. Running my fingers down the strings strumming wildly; taking my bow. Yep, I was a guitar player—after all guitar playing looks pretty effortless—at least watching Eric, BB, Odetta, and Tracy who seem mesmerized by the guitar magic.

#59 Learn to Play the Guitar. Straight from my list of 100 Things to Make Life Interesting it is finally time to make it happen; move from air guitar play to real playing. Guitar purchased? Check. Enrolled in class? Check. BB, Tracy, Odetta, Eric-like playing after the first week? Nope! Not even close. Well, actually, not even in the same universe. Not week one, two, three…

While BB, Tracy, Odetta, and Eric’s fingers magically make it to each chord to produce clear, wonderful sounds, my fingers seem like fat sausages, move like cold molasses, and struggle to transition from chord to chord. My fingers hurt! As finger callouses build up, my mind breaks down. Jeez…how do I transition from the G chord—oh wait, what is the shape of the G chord again—to the C chord? My fingers ache, my wrist aches, my memory falters minute-by-minute. Keeping time, playing the rhythm, remembering the notes, finding the chords…whew! Eric, BB, Odetta, and Tracy must be naturals, gifted! There is no way I will ever learn to play the guitar as well as them.

Guitars Don’t Play Themselves: A Metaphor for New Ventures is a reflection of the birthing new ventures process. New ventures spur a euphoric period of watching and admiring someone who has successfully achieved a venture. Success looks simple when standing on the outside. We internalize a notion of success based on someone else’s process. Like my admiration of BB, Odetta, Tracy, and Eric’s effortless guitar playing, I thought learning the guitar was simple.

Reality bites. When we embark on a new venture (like guitar playing) and it doesn’t match with the “success” model, the invariable comparison might start…”I don’t know if I can do what s/he does s/he has/had ____________, and that’s why s/he is successful.” That’s a great time to sit yourself down and remember one thing. Success NEVER happens overnight. NEVER. The road to success is paved with setbacks, obstacles, potholes, opportunities, decisions, disappointments, steps forward and back, and lots of lessons. New ventures are like learning to play the guitar; there is extraordinary hardwork and practice that goes into it. If you have clear vision, commitment, dedication, perseverance, and discipline you can create success in your life.

What we often forget when we see successful people is that they struggled to remember the chords, notes, the strumming pattern, the rhythm, when to change fingers, and all the other incredible things it takes to learn the guitar (or achieve a successful venture). BB, Odetta, Eric, and Tracy aren’t naturally gifted—they practiced and practiced and when they were tired and couldn’t take it one more minute—they practiced improving their skills some more.

Steve Harvey, bestselling author, comedian, actor, game show host, radio personality, and newly honored with a Hollywood Walk of Fame Star, closed his radio show yesterday with this comment (paraphrased). “If you want to be successful, sleep less. Don’t try to get more sleep, ‘cause you need every walking minute to be working on your dreams. Get what you need, but don’t spend all your time sleeping.” This is a perfect challenge for my guitar playing venture and all the wonderful ventures each of you is manifesting.

Peace & Blessings~

Jenny

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A fellow blogger wrote this brief synopsis of the book “The Hidden Messages in Water” (that I will be reading soon). The experiments with water as transformed by music, prayer, or various forms of pollution are powerfully represented in the photos in this blog. Take 5 minutes and check it out.

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Choices. Sometimes there are too many. Sometimes they’re agonizing and difficult to make. Sometimes we engage the one of least resistance. Sometimes they are made in haste. Sometimes we allow someone else to make them. Sometimes we believe we only have the one we don’t want. Choices are powerful acts shaping our lives.

I believe choice, to manifest my deep desire, is a deliberate, conscious act/action based on careful consideration. Self-knowledge is vital to deliberate choice. What am I required to do with X? Why do I desire X? What will achieving X create? Who will I become if I have/achieve X? Is that who I want to be? How will I impact others as I work to achieve X? These are questions I might ask myself in my deliberative process. There is a firm difference between a deliberated choice based in a personal, reflective process connected to my life goals and a choice taken as the least resistant, least confrontational act. Deliberate choice leads to a sense of personal clarity, empowerment, and purposefulness.

A deliberated choice example might be Jason’s deeply reflective process and personal development related to the type of spouse and relationship he wants to create (a definite choice) versus continuing a cycle of infidelity and fragmented relationship he witnessed between his own parents.

I’m interested in deliberated choices aligned with life goals and plans. Once a deliberate choice is made and I launch into action—things happen. I may initially experience joy, clarity, comfort, and boundless energy. But what happens when my deliberate choice begins to reveal challenges, obstacles, or growth areas in my character? Do I turn away from the deliberate choice and yield my power and joy? Do I determine myself wrong, silly, too idealistic? Or do I rediscover, recommit to my deliberate choice?

Where we can stumble with our deliberate choice(s) is when the chosen choice presents complications, challenges, self-doubt, or unexpected obstacles. We experienced discomfort. Lessons, I believe, are nestled in this challenge vortex. Discomfort is often a sign/opportunity/invitation for reflection and personal growth work as I endeavor to become the very best human being I can.

Natasha, an accomplished professional, deliberately chose an exciting new field, requiring her to begin at an entry level job. Making a deliberated choice, closing her ears to naysayers and critics, she embarked on the new endeavor. Within six-months, she experienced new professional challenges. Self-doubt set in. “Can I do this? It’s taking me longer to learn this new job than I thought. I’ve transitioned from being in a highly visible leadership role to entry level followership role, am I crazy?” Natasha made a deliberate choice to enter into a new career. While she considered all the possible challenges, there were many that she wouldn’t know until she stepped into the new career.

Embracing the choice she chose fires up the power of deliberate choice. When Natasha reaffirms her deliberate choice, she is reengaging the desire, sharp focus, and commitment of her dream. Her energy is focused on building up rather than tearing herself down. This process also means acknowledging that one or two areas have emerged as unanticipated challenges. What if Natasha carefully considers those areas and asks herself “How can I grow as a person by addressing this challenge?” Then she is able to focus deliberate energy on addressing newly revealed areas of growth.

Embracing the choices you chose draws power to your endeavors. Embracing the choices you chose cuts through the nonsense clutter to ensure that what you deeply desire and deliberately chose can come to fruition.

Peace & Blessings~

Jenny

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Eclectic coffee shop discoveries are my favorite adventures. St. Elmo’s Coffee Pub is a delightful, community-centered spot. Great music, silver-haired folks with longstanding relationships laugh and chat world events, joyous children find games amid plush couches, moms pushing double strollers, dads juggling dogs, coffee, and children focus St. Elmo’s vibrant energy. Yesterday, a rain drizzled cloudy day, was a perfect opportunity for me to drive the 30 minutes to St. Elmo’s. Parking at St. Elmo’s requires a bit of skill in the packed lot. Maneuvering my car between several cars in the tight lot, I backed in.

Hours later, dashing between rain drops, I arrived at my car. I noticed a large, soaked white paper under my wiper. Gingerly removing it, hoping it remained intact, I read the soggy note.

To the douchbag in 2 spots:

In the future, PLEASE do not take 2 spots when you Park.

While you may feel entitled to both spots,

I assume you—you are not.

Thanks!!! and Go FUCK yourself Please 🙂

I smiled. Yes, I smiled. The author clearly expended significant negative energy on an inconsequential event. Consider this. In the midst of rain, the person found an 8.5 x 11 notebook page (hopefully not their son or daughter’s) and a pen, spent time scrawling anger-laced parking venom, then tucked it under my wiper. Consider at least one assumption the person made: That I intentionally conspired with my sense of parking entitlement to take two spots.

As I mentioned earlier, the parking lot is tight. I recall when I backed in, I initially opened my door to see if there were any parking lines since the car next to mine was awkwardly parked. Finding no lines, I pulled forward, realigned my car, using the car in front as my guide, and backed into the spot ensuring sufficient space for opening car doors not to hit other vehicles.

You might be scratching your head. Why is she bothering to write about this? Well, this gets back to why I smiled after reading the note. I had two choices. I could have gotten pissed off and railed about mean people who write nasty notes—becoming as angry (and energy depleted) as the note writer. Or I could use the experience as a reminder of the power of kindness, smile, and maintain my peace and calm.

I share this note/experience for another reason. Assumptions. All too often we make assumptions about people and their actions. We attribute all kinds of ill intent to others based on race, gender, class, education, age, action, etc. Frequently we, the assumption makers, are wrong—very wrong. But depending on the energy we generate with our assumptions, we can get as angry and incensed as the parking note writer and say all kinds of vile things OR act in ways we would not want our children to emulate. Imagine how the next two hours of this person’s day went. Do you think the person left her/his emotional outburst in the parking lot? Or did she/he dump on a friend (or her/his children)—spewing how f*&$king horrible entitled people are…”that’s the problem with this city, state, country, nation, or those people.” You get the picture. Are you wasting good energy on bad reactions?

Peace & Blessings~

Jenny

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Desire is a powerful word. Imagine the extraordinary force created when I deeply want something to come into my life. Imagine the extraordinary focus that is birthed when all of my thoughts are aligned to attract a new opportunity, generous health, fulfilling relationship, wonderful career, or material things.

But why doesn’t it happen? Most of us walk around with a scarcity mentality. “I can’t have that because…” “She/he won’t like me because…” “I didn’t go to school for that, so I can’t….” “We don’t have enough….so we won’t…” I am certainly guilty of forgetting to see the abundance in my life—which translates into infinite possibilities. I’m fascinated (when I’m consciously attending to my thoughts) at how quickly I forget the extraordinary abundance I enjoy and plunge quickly into the trap of the scarcity mentality. What I desire, I create is a profound statement of the reality available for me to create and live. No matter what.

The desire I write of is experienced as a vision of something I want to have, be, or experience. Here’s an illustrative example. For years I was fascinated with Cuba. Almost 17 years ago, I created a list of 100 Things to Make Life Interesting. On the list: 1. Travel to Cuba before Castro departs. At the time, I had no idea how to manifest this powerful desire. But I believed my desire would come true before Fidel Castro died. The documentary The Buena Vista Social Club, a fascinating exploration of Cuban jazz musicians, provided more oxygen for the burning desire to visit Cuba and experience the people, culture, and music. However, the decades-long US embargo restricted legal travel. Fast forward to 2012, I’m reading the Washington Post and see an article about legal travel to Cuba. Everything to manifest this desire lined up—from the timing of the trip to financial resources (even the chance reading of the Post). The trip was extraordinary, informative, and amazing with a bonus Buena Vista Social Club evening performance.

A couple of my important actions.

A clear vision of what I wanted to do coupled with a clear written statement of my powerful desire.

My desire was not fleeting; it was strengthened and made potent by my fully charged emotional energy directed toward 1. Travel to Cuba before Castro departs. The desire was recharged and re-invigorated by listening to my Cuban music collection.

No scarcity mentality. It never occurred to me that this desire wouldn’t materialize. My emotional energy was completely directed at this desire. Not forced or demanding; but free, light, purposeful, and intensely focused.

Yes! When opportunity knocked, I said “Yes!” There were 10 reasons why I could have said “No”.

You are what your deep, driving desire is.

As your desire is, so is your will.

As your will is, so is your deed.

As your deed is, so is your destiny.

~ Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

What you desire, you can create. It literally doesn’t matter what it is…you can create it. Your desire coupled with vision clarity, and potent emotional energy will bring forth your deep, driving desire.