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About Barbara Lane

As a pastor’s wife for years I have shared God’s Word to all ages from young children to adults, led women’s retreats and mentored young women. In my “golden years” of retirement as I am no longer able to do all those things, I still want to help others. With my blog Grandma’s Ramblings I hope to challenge, encourage or just give someone a laugh. I have worn many titles in my life: daughter, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, wife. I have fought a battle with breast cancer, became a widow with two small girls at 34. Blessed with a second chance at happiness when I married again I gained four more children. Together my husband and I have six children, 20 grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren.
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I just finished reading (for the second time) the biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Bonhoeffer was a German pastor during the time of Hitler and World War II. As the Nazis came to power and took control of the church, he faced a real dilemma. He could not continue to stand with the church hierarchy who supported Hitler’s regime yet he found it hard to speak out against the church. Along with several other pastors and theologians he founded what was called the Confessing Church.

A group called the German Christians (Deutsche Christen) created a pro-Nazi Reich Church. They wanted the church to conform to Nazi ideology. In opposition to this, many Christians formed the Confessing Church taking a clear stand against Hitler and his agenda.

However, in time Bonhoeffer became discouraged by the Confessing Church because although they opposed the Nazi regime they said nothing about the persecution of the Jewish people.

As the evil of Nazism became clearer Bonhoeffer faced a difficult decision.

Should he just look the other way as many German Christians were doing?

He had already spoken out against Hitler and his government. Should he do more?

He knew many of those who were conspiring to kill Hitler and free Germany from the nightmare that was afflicting the nation. Should he join them in their effort?

What does a Christian do when faced with such evil?

Bonhoeffer, after much soul-searching, joined the effort to get rid of the monster in charge of their country. For that decision he paid with his life.

He was originally charged with conspiring to rescue Jews and using his foreign travels as a pastor to share the situation in Germany with other countries hoping for help in staging a coup. His connection to the broader resistance movement was uncovered after a failed July 20, 1944 coup.

He was taken to the Gestapo prison in Berlin and later moved to the Flossenburg concentration camp where he was hanged April 9, 1945 just weeks before the Germans surrendered to Allied forces.

As I look at the divisions in our country – liberal vs conservative, Democrats vs Republicans, pro gun control vs anti-gun control and the list goes on and on, I wonder what a Christian should do.

Please understand I am NOT suggesting that anyone is like Hitler (don’t you go there) or that our country is like Germany in World War II.

But I do wonder how much Christians should get involved in the political debate. I remember that famous quote which has been attributed to Edmund Burke (although there is debate on who really said it first):

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.

Do we remain silent when we see bad laws enacted and evil triumphing?

Yet I look at Jesus and his disciples. They lived under a dictatorship that was evil. Their fellow Jews were taxed heavily by their oppressor. Even their worship was controlled in many ways by the Romans. The Roman ruler, Pilate, kept the garments the High Priest needed to wear on the Day of Atonement. Each year they had to wait for him to surrender them to the priests so they could perform that sacred sacrifice.

Not one time did Jesus or his followers address that issue. They were focused on sharing the good news that Jesus had died and rose again for their eternal salvation.

The Apostle Paul even wrote that we should obey those in authority and that God had placed them there.

On the other hand we see throughout the Bible when people disobeyed the laws that were in conflict with God’s commandments.

Rahab hid the Jewish spies that came to her in Jericho.

Daniel continued to pray to God when the king ruled no prayers were to be said to anyone but him.

The three Hebrew children refused to bow down to the statute and were thrown into the fiery furnace

When told by the Jewish rulers not to speak about Jesus, the disciples said:

Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to listen to you rather than God. For we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.

In my own time I think of Martin Luther King Jr who lead the non-violent civil rights protests that led to the end of Jim Crow rules that had been in place since the Civil War.

As I see and hear all the debates in our country today on so many issues: the wall, gun control, abortion I cannot help but think of that over used phrase from a few years ago:

What would Jesus do?

Wish I had the answer but I also wish that Christians would really think.

What issues are worth fighting for because they are evil and against God’s Word?

What issues are worth fighting for because we personally believe in them? Because we believe we have a “right” to certain things?

What is our basis for our beliefs – the Bible or the Constitution?

Are any “rights” worth fighting for to the point that they become our battle cry instead of the cry for people to know Jesus?

Are we Christians first ready to die for the cause of Christ – or Americans first ready to die for our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

Where in the Bible did Jesus said he came so that we could have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

I still struggle with these issues. My prayer is that the church will take a stand against real evil, but also be willing to let their time and energy (and Facebook comments) promote the cause of Jesus Christ over their desire for their rights. I have angered friends – and some have even unfriended me on Facebook – but I will continue to say we must not become so obsessed with our “rights” that we forget our mission is to love the world and share the message of Jesus Christ.

Throughout my life I have read arguments for and against having faith in the Christian God – or any god for that matter.

Some say to question our belief is wrong. To express any doubt will definitely displease God.

Others say to believe without positive proof of a god is simply showing a lack of intellect.

I have always found myself in the middle.

I do not believe God gave us a mind and then did not expect us to use it. I do not believe that God cannot handle our questions, our doubts.

At the same time, to assume that anyone who believes in God without being able to “prove” His existence lacks knowledge is so unfair.

In this back and forth argument I read this week from the book “Deliver Us From Evil” by Ravi Zacharias and found this quote expresses so completely how I personally feel about faith vs reason.

One of the most startling things about life is that it does not start with reason and end with faith. It starts in childhood with faith and is sustained either by reasoning through that faith or blindly leaving the reason for faith unaddressed. The child’s mind has a very limited capacity to inform it of the reason for its trust. But whether she nestles on her mother’s shoulder, nurses at her mother’s breast, or runs into her father’s arms, she does so because of an implicit trust that these shoulders will bear her, that her food will sustain her, and that these arms will hold her. If over time that trust is tested, it will be the character of the parent that will prove that trust wise or foolish. Faith is not benefit of reason.

That pretty much describes my faith journey. Born into a home where I was taken to church every week and taught about God from my parents, I believed in the Christian God and committed my life to Him at a very young age. No questions asked. Simply the faith of a child running into her father’s arms.

As a young adult I experienced some difficult times. At the same time as these problems arose I was also attending college at Southern Illinois University in Edwardsville. In one of my classes the professor was advocating strongly that creation by God was not true.

I reached the point where I began to question if all I had believed all these years was really true. Was God real? Sitting on my front porch one night I looked up into the sky and said, “God if you are truly real, if what I have believed all these years are true, I need you to reveal yourself. I need you to help me out of these difficulties.”

There was no lightning or thunder or a great voice of God. But slowly over the next few weeks I began to see drastic changes in my circumstances that reason alone could not explain.

I also began to research my Bible, read books on archaeology, evolution and Christian apologists. Slowly, but surely, my belief in God was increased by what I learned. It was during the next couple of years as I studied, prayed and learned that my faith was made stronger by my questioning.

As the years have gone by and I have seen both good times and bad, I have also found myself running into my heavenly father’s arms and the character of God has proven my trust to be a wise one.

If you have doubts about God, do not deny them. Do not be afraid to express them. But do more than that. Read, pray, research.

But also don’t be afraid to be that little child and run into His arms.

He said “You will seek me and find me when you seek for me with all your heart.”

A few days ago I wrote about how easy I find it to complain instead of being thankful. A friend responded some of the problem might be all the input we get today from media.

I thought about that and realized much of the information we get is geared to the negative.

We call a traffic light a “stop” light even though it is green as often as it is red.

The weather man says we have a 40% chance of snow instead of telling us we have a 60% chance of no snow.

The news channel reports the kids who commit a crime but seldom report all the many kids who make the honor roll, who help the elderly across the street, who visit the kids in the cancer ward, who teach the children on Sundays or participate in the worship team.

Most of our news is about the negative events taking place in our community instead of the multitude of good acts being committed every day.

And to wade into the dangerous area of politics, our political candidates run less on the positive things they have done or will do than on telling us how terrible their opponent is and all the negative things he/she has done or will do.

As I admitted I complain too often and I am too quick to see the negative. I told my friend that when I get too carried away on the negative I found singing or listening to a good praise song really helps me get my focus back on the many positive things in my life.

These words from the prophet Habakkuk have helped me often when in a complaining mood:

Though the fig tree does not blossomAnd there is no fruit on the vines,Though the yield of the olive failsAnd the fields produce no food,Though the flock is cut off from the foldAnd there are no cattle in the stalls,Yet I will [choose to] rejoice in the Lord;I will [choose to] shout in exultation in the [victorious] God of my salvation!The Lord God is my strength [my source of courage, my invincible army];He has made my feet [steady and sure] like hinds’ feetAnd makes me walk [forward with spiritual confidence] on my [a]high places [of challenge and responsibility].

Recently we bought her some bird houses to paint for her birthday. Her new home has lots of trees and we thought she would enjoy not only painting them, but watching the birds this summer as they made a next in the houses.

When she stayed all night with us recently her Papa helped her paint one of the smaller ones instructing her in how to mix paints to get a new color, how to hold her brush and the right strokes to make.

My husband and I are reading through the Bible this year in our devotions. Right now we are working our way through the book of Numbers.

This morning I was thinking how the Israelites complained their way through the desert on their way to the Promised Land. They would face a difficulty, God would intervene and meet their need, then when the next problem arose, they started complaining again. My first thought was:

“How could they keep complaining?” Had God not met each need? What was wrong with them?

Then I thought of how easy I find it to complain.

Example:

We have had a few weeks of bitter cold and lots of snow. What is my first response?

Complain:

I can’t get out in this bitter cold

I’m afraid I’m going to fall on the slick side walks

The cloudy days are depressing

But why not be thankful:

I have a warm house with warm clothes, warm car

My backyard is beautiful – like a winter wonderland

I’m retired so I don’t have to get out in this terrible weather

Example:

We recently moved from a nine-room house to a five-room house wanting to downsize as we age.

Complain:

The closets are so small there is not enough room for our clothes

The bedrooms are so tiny

I don’t like electric stoves

But why not be thankful:

Having everything on one floor has meant not having to cope with stairs

Thank God I have so many clothes

Thank God I have a modern stove and other modern appliances

Why is it so easy to see the negative instead of the positive?

Looking at the story in Exodus and Numbers I think they complained because they were so quick to forget what God had done.

Is that my problem? I quickly forget what God has done for me.

“Lord I know you have saved me from the consequence of my sins and you have promised me your presence and guidance in all circumstances, but it’s cold outside, the sun is hidden behind the clouds and my favorite TV show has been cancelled for tonight.”

Let me remember:

the wonderful children you have given me

a husband who is also my best friend

I’m still living almost 17 years after being diagnosed with advanced, aggressive cancer

you protected me when the car I was driving was hit head-on by a young man driving way too fast

how many friends you have given me through the years

how you provided financial help when my husband was out of work

how you allowed me to be born in a family where I was taught about God at an early age

that you loved me so much you gave your only son that I might be saved

It’s Valentine’s Day. A day we are supposed to celebrate our love. I imagine it can be a painful day for those who do not have a “special” someone to celebrate with. After my first husband died, I dreaded that day.

But although I have been single, then widowed and spent Valentine’s Day without a boyfriend or husband, I have always had a great love to celebrate.

I met Him when I was six years old.

My earliest memories were hearing my parents talk about Him. Finally, at six I realized I wanted Him to be my special love.

So I asked Jesus to come into my heart/my life and I would love Him too.

I asked – He said yes.

Being baptized after making a public commitment to follow Jesus

We have been sharing our love ever since then.

I could share so many stories of how my love has been there for me over these 65 years since I accepted His offer of friendship and love, but one of my blogs from 2014 tells it the best.

Hope you will take time to read it and see why I celebrate this love, not only on Valentine’s day but every day of the year.

I had moved back to Illinois from Missouri to be near family. My husband of 13 years had been killed in an accident and with him my dreams of a home in the country was gone. With two little girls to raise by myself I needed the support of family.

At the time of the move the thought that I would ever love again to me seemed impossible.

But as time passed and the years ahead all alone seemed so hard, I began to wonder if I could find happiness again.

And then I met him.

Thirty-five years this month this wonderful man asked me to meet him for coffee one morning. Nervous and wondering if this was really the right thing to do I said yes.

We both were scared as our relationship began. His first marriage had ended in pain and sorrow as his first wife announced one day she no longer wanted to be married. Trying to raise his two teenage children alone he was lonely too but also afraid.

Would he be hurt again if he gave his heart away to me? Would his kids be okay with this new relationship?

I too was scared. How would my girls feel about this? Could I really love someone again? Guilt also entered my mind. If I loved again, would I betray the memory of my first husband?

During those first days in February and March I played this song over and over as I prayed and asked God for wisdom in this new relationship.

Thankful we overcome the fears and were married. Bought our first home!

Thirty-five years since we met for coffee. My, what those years have bought.

20 grandchildren

9 great-grandchildren

there has been sorrow – death of our oldest son and three grandchildren

there has been joy – seeing our children married, grandchildren born

we have walked the streets of New York with a team from Teen Challenge witnessing and reaching out to drug addicts

lived as missionaries in the Philippines

been pastors of three churches, music ministers

survived my husband’s heart attack and my battle with breast cancer

Today as I think back to that first coffee date, I’m so thankful he asked me and that I said yes.