Pentagon to market George W. Bush action toys17 May 2003 by Malcolm Drury

Following its success with the Iraq sticker album and President "Boy" George W. Bush's appearance onboard the USS Abraham Lincoln dressed as a fighter pilot, the Pentagon is to market a series of George W. Bush action figures.

Said spokesman Elmer K. Ramsbottom III "Judging by the enthusiastic public response to the Commander-in-Chief's appearance on the Abraham Lincoln, we think there is a strong market for action figures featuring him as tank commander, parachutist, marine ... you name it."

The first figure will be George W. Bush - Tank Commander. Mr Ramsbottom III said that it would be released once a technical hitch has been fixed. "The action figure is supposed to be programmed with a number of phrases, such as 'Go ahead, Saddam, make my day,'" he said, "but there's some kind of bug, as at present it only spouts nonsensical phrases like 'I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.'"

In a departure from tradition, the model President will be made from plastic rather than wood or cardboard. If the toy is successful, other accessories may follow including guns, tanks and a clip-on Tony Blair.