In the new issue of U.K. Harper's Bazaar, Megan Fox announces, "I've only been with two men my entire life. My childhood sweetheart and Brian [Austin Green]," not that it's any of our business.

Fox explains, "I can never have sex with someone that I don't love, ever. The idea makes me sick. I've never even come close to having a one-night stand." She adds that when she's not working, she's with Brian's son Kassius. "I am a stepmother to the fullest extent," she says. "I have looked after Kassius since he was three and he has no memory of life without me. For some reason, no one wants to look at me that way, but I am responsible and I've never struggled with that, from bedtime stories to the school run." [The Sun]

Megan Fox also tells Bazaar, "My biggest regret is that I've assisted the media in making me into a cartoon character. I don't regret what has happened to me, but I regret the way I have dealt with it." [Us]

Dr. Frank Ryan, the plastic surgeon who went to town on Heidi Montag says he won't operate on her anymore. "There's really nothing to do!" he said. "I told Heidi that, 'What are you going to do? You're done!'" [Us]

Spencer Pratt put a toy rope into his mouth while playing with his dog and when it slipped, he accidentally bit through his own tongue. Spencer hasn't been able to talk for the past few days and says he sees it "as a sign from God that he needs to continue to keep his mouth shut in 2010." [TMZ]

The National Enquirer claims a federal grand jury is about to indict John Edwards for possible campaign violations related to paying off Rielle Hunter. "While he believes he's done nothing illegal in trying to hide his extramarital affair with Rielle and their daughter, he thinks the Feds are going to make an example of him," said a source. The mag also teases that, "Elizabeth could help send him to jail!" [National Enquirer]

Katherine Jackson's attorney says the stun gun ordered by Jermaine Jackson's son Jaafar was confiscated almost immediately. "Jafar opened the package in his bathroom and tested it on a piece of paper," he said, adding that "Blanket Jackson never saw or heard the Taser... Neither did Paris Jackson. Prince saw the Taser in possession of security." [Us]

Social workers from the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services spent six and a half hours yesterday interviewing adults at the Jackson family home and they'll be back tomorrow to talk to the kids. Sources say they want to make sure there are controls on the kids' internet access. [TMZ]

Sources say Michael Jackson's kids have no supervision and 80-year-old Katherine Jackson can't handle all the kids who've been dumped in her home adding, "Randy Jackson and Jermaine Jackson's kids are running wild in the house." [Showbiz 411]

A "family friend" says the Jackson family is considering sending Prince, Paris, and Blanket to regular school next year. Currently they're tutored at home but the other kids at the family compound go to school. [Radar]

Debbie Rowe won $27,000 in a defamation lawsuit she filed against a woman who she says spread lies about her by telling the press she didn't care about getting custody of Michael Jackson's kids. The woman didn't respond, so the judge entered a default judgment. [TMZ]

Days before he committed suicide last weekend, Marie Osmond's son Michael Blosil legally changed his last name to Bryan for unknown reasons. [E!]

The name Michael Bryan will appear on the death certificate. Marie Osmond recently divorced Brian Blosil and Michael was estranged from his father. [People]

Jake Pavleka, a.k.a. The Bachelor "cheated" on Vienna Girardi after they got engaged on the show, by contacting his ex-girlfriend. Apparently he told his girlfriend he still loves her and only appeared on the show to further his acting career. Is it possible to cheat if your engagement is a reality TV sham? [Radar]

Wyclef Jean's wife Marie Claudinette reportedly freaked out when she found a nude photo of his manager, Lisa Ellis, on his phone. After forcing Wyclef to fire Lisa, Marie allegedly forwarded the picture to music industry professionals. Lisa told the N.Y. Daily News, "Photographer Mark Baptiste took a portrait of me in December 2008 for an art book. It was tastefully done. Someone leaked the photo. I don't know who did it but the photo had nothing to do with my resignation as Wyclef Jean's manager. I quit just because I don't like the way he does business. The photo has nothing to do with anything, but now there's this completely made up, falsified story about it." [Radar]

Paris Hilton was pulled over yesterday in L.A. for allegedly trying to use the bike lane to pull around slower cars. [TMZ]

Though Maureen McCormick and Eve Plumb's reps insist the Brady Bunch reunion on the Today Show wasn't called off because they're feuding, Christopher Knight's denial tells a different story. He said, "We only have speculation to go on, but to the best of my understanding, it falls on the aggressiveness of Today producers who are not used to getting a 'No' for an answer + some major miscommunication between some reps... Eve never does Brady press, especially if Maureen is involved. This went on for decades, so she was never on board to begin with is what I understand." [Radar]

Burt Reynolds has left the hospital after undergoing quintuple bypass surgery last week. He also went to rehab recently for a prescription drug addiction. [People]

Katie Price convinced her husband Alex Reid to fire his manager after he arranged for Reid to appear nude on the cover of a gay magazine. [Daily Mail]

While being hounded by the paparazzi at LAX, Real HousewifeKim Zolciak said she DJ Tracy Young is just a friend, not her lesbian lover. Then she flashed the ring Big Poppa gave. [TMZ]

A woman suing a former power plant owner says her boss called black co-workers monkeys and said Oprah Winfrey, "should have died in a plane crash." [Gothamist]

Though Rachel Zoe and her assistant Taylor Jacobson split on good terms, sources say Zoe actually fired Jacobson when some designer merchandize went missing from the company's clothes closet. [N.Y. Post]

Seal tried to take his Pinkberry frozen yogurt into a movie theater in Burbank, but the theater manager made him finish it before heading inside. An eyewitness reports Seal, "was acting like he owned the place and was arguing with the manager who wouldn't let him in until he finished his ice cream," and in general, being a "jackass." [Radar]

Jon Bon Jovi will promote President Obama's service initiative "United We Serve" by running a video before his concerts about community service jobs. [AP]

Ryan O'Neal won't be allowed to visit his son Redmond O'Neal in rehab anymore. Redmond was in court today for a progress report and the judge told him, "You were faking it the last time you were at Impact. You weren't sincere. You have to take a hard look at your life. You are still in trouble. I'm going to ask Impact to eliminate any home visits." [Radar]

Redmond O'Neal told People, "I'm doing great. I am focused on my recovery and plan not to let anything get in the way... I am doing my best to make my mother proud." [People]

This new PETA ad features Dave Navarro naked along with the slogan "Ink, not mink." [Just Jared]

Ethan Hawke, who has a 1 1/2 year old and two other children, says adjusting his schedule to be with them is hard because, "It's a struggle … always a balance," but his daughter Maya, "Is about to be 12, so she's getting pretty good with the baby." [People]

Hmm... who could have planted this snooze-worthy story? A DWTS source says Kate Gosselin "Was so nice... Everyone loved her. She was funny and cordial and accommodating... It was a surprise!" [Us]

Jon Gosselin's rep says he's "Happy for Kate and supportive of her joining the season of DWTS." [Radar]

Ouch. An E! writer responded to Lindsay Lohan's announcement in OK! that she's writing a memoir saying, "We're all too aware of what you've been through thanks to interviews, photos, and, of course, Twitter In fact, come to think of it, how much more is there to share? Maybe 140 characters really is all she needs." [E!]

Nicky Philips, the artist who gave Prince William more hair in a recent portrait, says she'd like Simon Cowell to sit for her next. "I would like to paint Simon in my studio and put him in a position where he is not in control," she says. "I would love to see just how well he deals with it." [Telegraph]

Neil Patrick Harris will play the lead live action character in Smurfs: The Movie. [Deadline]

Renee Zellweger took Bradley Cooper's mom to the opening of Vera Wang's Melrose store last night. "They looked like the best of friends," says a source. "They were laughing, chatting throughout dinner. They are definitely close." [People]

Jason Sudeikis says of his SNL co-star Kristen Wiig, "There's always a time when she'll say, 'Well, when I was a florist,' or 'When I sold peaches on the street,' or 'When I went to massage school... She's a journeyman who can start a sentence from any number of non sequiturs." [N.Y. Daily News]

Spike Jonze, whose documentary Tell Them Anything You Want: A Portrait of Maurice Sendak is out on DVD this week, says he's always been a fan. "I think the reason I liked his books as a kid is that I related to them. There's something honest about them. I love the part of the documentary where he says he wasn't technically a better artist than anybody, he was just more honest about people. I understand why I gravitated toward his stuff in getting to know him and learning how he works," he said. [N.Y. Magazine]

Kim Cattrall says she found the book her film The Ghost is based on "Quite terrifying. Behind these political masks are these machinations and these evil people who are so egocentric and demonic. I found it more of an affirmation of something we know is going on, but don't want to acknowledge because it's so frightening." [Telegraph]

Oscar scriptwriter Bruce Vilanch says that this year, "The stage will be raised higher, which means more steps to accept your awards. So the ladies may have to be careful with their long trains, tight dresses and heels. Obviously, we do not want any slip-ups." So, why did they build the stage that way? [N.Y. Post]

Alec Baldwin says of hosting the Oscars, "Steve [Martin] and I only appear for about 22 minutes of the entire time of the program. Our role in a three-hour show is not that big. You also want to be loose because things can happen; you have to be a bit light on your feet. The producers have some very nice features and tribute segments, and we have the function of teeing up those segments and letting the air out of everyone else in the room during the break." [LAT]

In the new issue of the French magazine VSD, Johnny Depp describes his awesome life in France. "With Vanessa and the kids, we live in a sort of little village in the south and I have the impression of being in paradise," he says. "It's a property of about 30 acres and you know what I do there? Absolutely nothing... there are times when I don't leave the property for three months at a time." Johnny adds that it's like, "being on another planet. When I wake up I go look at my garden. I go see if my vegetables are growing, if certain flowers have started to bloom." Also, "everything revolves around" the children. "Where will we go for a walk? Should we eat at the house with them or maybe go for a picnic? These are the problems we face there." [People]