Tuesday, December 30, 2014

I hope that I am an honest, truthful person. The truth of the matter is, I am not the most honest person there is. Ironically I am being honest because I have admitted this. I repent of this. I have spent my life caring what others think for so long I have even said that at one time, I had to lie to be believed. It is sick and it is sad. I didn't have to lie to be believed. I didn't have to lie period. There is nothing greater than being honest. Honest people are trustworthy people who are respected for that reason. I am more trustworthy and I earned of others. But have I ? Have I really? I feel like even one mistake would cause one to be untrustworthy. I had to earn the respect of others. The past is something that is either ironically a blessing or the past has also been a curse because of a personal flaw. I have learned to be an honest person, but I am not sure that even at my age, I have earned the respect of some. I wonder now if there is a difference between earning the respect of others or outright giving my life to others because I care so much of others think. It is a rough and sad way to live. I realize that that is what wrong with me. I have been stressed about this for a while now. Now I believe that honesty is the best policy not only to the human, but also to God.

Monday, December 29, 2014

I felt so bad lately since I woke up. I felt bad about myself and my life. It does happen quite often I am afraid. I am here to write that negativity takes away from a person. It is a drain on one's psyche. Being negative and having negative thoughts are not worth it. I have been under a lot of stress lately. Well, I am here to write that I am thankful that I am still around to deal with the causes of stress in my life. I have often felt powerless to do anything about it, but I realize that it takes positivity and a dose of truth to overcome and deal with stress. Undue stress causes undue pain.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

I sometimes wonder how true the experiences of near death experiences are. I question the validity of some of them. They do have a common theme or two. Heaven is a wonderful place. Meanwhile, Hell is not, this is true. Some of the details are not biblical. I can't find anywhere about the demons tormenting people in Hell. I believe the fact that they are being tormented in the flames and then take part in the Lake of Fire for all eternity is bad enough. Demons will too be sent there and so will Satan. All of what I have written is in the Book of Revelation. There are plenty of videos online about near death experiences. While they are rather interesting videos, always question their validity against what the scriptures actually say. That will give a person an idea if a testimony is accurate or not.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

May Goldfish rest in peace. We never had a goldfish to call our own before. Sadly we never even gave him or her a name. It is so sad that he or she is gone. She became ill I guess and she died. I even prayed for the fish. It is just so sad and so sobering. Death does that to a person or animal.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

December 24 has always been one of my favorite days of the year. It is the day that is leading up to Christmas. Sometimes, I would prepare myself for Christmas, which is a lot of fun to do. I have spent the past few days making preparations for Thanksgiving. I enjoy making preparations for Christmas. I sometimes worry about Christmas day, which will go away within the next 48 hours. By then, the anticipation will end. However, I have learned not to take Christmas Day for granted. It is a time to give, love, and to "celebrate" the Birthday of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My only hope is that I don't forget to do that. After all, Jesus IS the real Reason for why we celebrate our ironically over commercialized holiday.

Monday, December 22, 2014

I didn't have any dreams today or last night. I guess because I was either under too much stress or because I spent so much time preparing for Thursday that I didn't seem to have "time" to dream. Either way, I wonder if there is any real meaning to dreams, including the dreams that I have. I don't have to worry much about except if I could make it until Christmas. I spent the past few days counting down the days until Christmas. Today it is only three days away and I look for to it. However, maybe I shouldn't because December 26 is too around the corner.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Today was a good day. I guess it was because I spent a good portion of it taking a nap. There are times I like to take a nap. Today was one of those days. On the weekend while watching tv, I would begin to take a nap. This weekend was different however. I had an interesting dream about two women. One of the women was a bride dressed and on her way to The New Jerusalem and the other was a plain clothes woman on her way to take part in the New Jerusalem. I find this dream rather sobering. All of us and I mean ALL, will end up having one of these two destinations. I look forward to the return of Jesus Christ, but I cannot anticipate that if I am not a true believer in Christ living in obedience. One who is has a bright future ahead of him or her. Prayer, the Word, and service are the air that believers breathe and need in this evil world. This world seems to possess more and more evil daily and all things are getting worse. Maybe the moral to this story is that Jesus will return soon and that this is not just a dream. The dream is based on truth and that is quite sobering.

In a large pot, boil the macaroni as it is written in the package. Once
the pasta is cooked and drained, bring the pasta back into the pan and
mix with with the melted butter; place into the crock pot. Beat 2 egg
yolks and add it to the milk to stir. Pour the yolk-milk mixture into
the crock and stir with the macaroni-butter mixture. Then add the
spices and mustard to the crock pot and stir. Add the chopped block of
cheese, cheese sauce, and half of the five cheese Italian blend. Stir the macaroni and
cheese mixture in the crock pot, set on high, until the cheese melts.
Once the cheese melts, garnish with the shredded cheese and set on low
for an hour.

In a large pot, boil the macaroni as it is written in the package. Once the pasta is cooked and drained, bring the pasta back into the pan and mix with with the melted butter; place into the crock pot. Beat 2 egg yolks and add it to the milk to stir. Pour the yolk-milk mixture into the crock and stir with the macaroni-butter mixture. Then add the spices and mustard to the crock pot and stir. Add the chopped block of cheese and half of the five cheese Italian blend. Stir the macaroni and cheese mixture in the crock pot, set on high, until the cheese melts. Once the cheese melts, garnish with the shredded cheese and set on low for an hour.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

I find myself counting down the days to celebrating Christmas. I believe that Jesus is the Real Reason that we should all celebrate Christmas. I am also concerned that even December 25 will also go by fast. Then December 26 will roll around. I hate that day because my favorite holiday is over. I understand that Christmas will be boring after a while, but 24 hours should not be enough to celebrate it. Well, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Monday, December 15, 2014

I have come to realize that there are things that are far more important than Christmas gifts. I have been humbled this morning. I have changed my views. I thought that I have needs, but the truth is, that I had wants and desire. I have changed my views on Christmas. I believe that Jesus ought to be the focus. I felt so bad about being ungrateful today. I realize that even now, I have a long way to go. I felt and still feel to a point on the other hand that the more money the more presents the greater the Christmas. I am here to write that this view is wrong and I would like to change my views. I believe that God does answer prayers and that He knows that I have needs. All I know to do is to trust Him, In Jesus' name.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Today has been frustrating online. I like a lot of people apparently have the problem of movies not being able to load. Only a few videos will load yet there are a few that I won't be able to watch and songs that I won't be able to listen to. I am okay. Maybe the problem will be fixed as I have tried everything from cleaning the cache to downloading drivers. Nothing seems to work. I have never had this issue before. I thought that something has to work on a computer and that there is a fix. It seems however that there is no fix. I could use a miracle right about now.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

I have been given clarity today. I have also been giving wisdom. I believe that life is too short to not to have wisdom or a clear mind. Those are some of the things that I have been praying for. God is good and also an all-time God. The song from Dottie Peoples about Him being an all-time God is true. I am living proof and for that, I am so grateful to Him. Never neglect being grateful to God. Tell Him the truth, for God cannot lie, so lets not lie. There is no need to use fancy words and bluster about being faithful when deep down doubtful thoughts are creeping in. The best prayers are the most honest prayers. Telling God how one feels in Jesus' name all the while repenting of one's sins. Have faith. God does answer prayer.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Macaroni and cheese recipe 5
Ingredients:
1½ cups milk
3 Tbsp. butter
2 Tbsp. cornstarch
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. black pepper
1/8 tsp.yellow mustard
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup mild cheddar cheese
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup mozarella cheese
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
16 oz. elbow macaroni
Directions: Mix together the milk, spices, mustard, cornstarch, and both the mild and sharp cheddar cheese.
Stir until cheeses are fully melted. for a minute and check to see if the macaroni is done;
if it is, make sure the macaroni and
cheese are not over- or undercooked and then well drained. Transfer macaroni back into
the large pot and then add your cheese sauce; stir well. In a lightly greased baking pan,
pour macaroni and make sure it is evenly distributed. Use the shredded cheese, mozzarella, and parmesan cheeses
to sprinkle on top of the macaroni. Bake in a preheated oven at 350º for 20 minutes or
until cheese is fully melted and is golden brown.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Macaroni and cheese 4
Ingredients:
1½ cups milk
1 stick of butter or margarine
2 Tbsp. flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. black pepper
1/2 tsp. paprika
1/8 tsp.yellow mustard
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
4 oz. velveeta cheeese
16 oz. elbow macaroni
Directions:
In a large pot, for the macaroni, follow the instructions on the box. To make the roux,
mix the flour with the butter. Then add the milk, velveeta cheese, and half of the cheddar
cheese; stir until cheeses are fully melted. Then add the mustard and spices. Set aside
for a minute and check to see if the macaroni is done; if it is, make sure the macaroni and
cheese are not over- or undercooked and then well drained. Transfer macaroni back into
the large pot and then add your cheese sauce; stir well. In a lightly greased baking pan,
pour macaroni and make sure it is evenly distributed. Use the rest of the cheddar cheese
to sprinkle on top of the macaroni. Bake in a preheated oven at 375º for 20 minutes or
until cheese is fully melted and is golden brown.

Directions: Preheat the oven to 375º. In a small bowl place 4 oz. of cream cheese in the microwave and let it soften for 10-15 seconds. Oven temperatures vary. To the cream cheese, mix in the sour cream and beat until fluffy. In a large bowl, beat the eggs and then add the cream mixture. In a medium saucepan, boil water for the macaroni. Add 12 oz. macaroni and let it boil for 10-15 minutes, then slowly drain. In another medium saucepan, on medium heat make a roux from the flour and keep stirring until the butter melts. Slowly add the cream-egg mixture to the saucepan. Then slowly add in the cheese-sour cream mixture stirring constantly. Then lower the heat and add the cheeses stirring constantly until the cheeses are melted. In the large bowl, stir in the cheese mix and the macaroni. Once stirred in, add the mustard and spices and stir again. Then pour the mixture into a large lightly greased baking pan. Crumble the cojita cheese mix with the parmesan cheese. Sprinkle the cheeses evenly over the macaroni.
Bake for 15-30 minutes until the cheese browns.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Macaroni and Cheese 2
16 oz package elbow macaroni
1 cup milk
1 1/2 cup half and half cream
5 oz. can evaporated milk
1/2 cup sour cream
2 egg yolks
1/2 cup flour
1 stick of butter
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. black pepper
2 Tbsp. paprika
1 1/2 Tbsp. yellow mustard
1 package President Brie cheese (without the rind)
3 cups shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups shredded pizza cheeses (shredded cheese pack made of cheddar, mozzarella, etc)
2 cups shredded Italian cheeses pack (shredded cheese pack made of mozzarella, Parmesan, provolone, etc)
2 cups shredded Monterrey Jack/Colby cheese pack
1 cup Parmesan cheese
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 can cheddar cheese soup
Directions:
Preheat the oven for this recipe at 350 degrees.
Follow the directions for how to cook the macaroni and cheese. After the macaroni has cooked, drain and set aside for a few moments.
In a small bowl, mix the egg yolks and sour cream and set that aside. In a large part, make a roux; melt the butter and then add the flour. Stir until well mixed, making sure the roux does not brown. Then slowly add the 1 cup of milk.
Next, add the egg yolks-sour cream mixture and stir. Then add the salt, pepper, paprika, and mustard. Keep mixing and while mixing, add the 3 cups shredded cheese, shredded pizza cheeses, Jack/Colby cheeses, and the Brie, the shredded Italian cheeses. Keep stirring until melted. The mixture will be thick and gummy. Pour in the evaporated milk and stir. Then slowly pour in the half and half cream. If you wish, you can add a little bit more cream and milk to this as the mixture is thinner, but still gummy. Make sure while stirring that all of the cheeses are melted.

Cook the macaroni noodles as it is written in the package then drain in a colander and set aside. In a large pot, make a roux of the milk and the butter. Keep in mind not to let the roux brown. Slowly pour in the milk and stir. Add in the evaporated milk, cream, and buttermilk. After a while, the sauce will thicken.

Next, add the grated cheeses; stir until incorporated and the cheese is melted. Then add in the cheese soup, velveeta cheese product, and the cracker barrel cheese. Stir until the cracker barrel cheese and the velveeta cheese product melts. Take the large pot off of the stove, which is set to medium temperature, so that it can be set aside. Next, pour in the macaroni noodles and stir into the cheese sauce. Stir until well incorporated. Set aside.

In a large bowl, mix thoroughly the egg yolks, cream cheese, and the sour cream. Once well-mixed, and that mixture into the pot, which is placed on top of the stove. The stove should still be set to medium. Next, add in the mustard, hot sauce, and the spices and stir well.

Pour macaroni mixture in a greased baking sheet. Also, sprinkle macaroni mixture with grated cheese, bread crumbs, or anything else that you wish to sprinkle with such as bacon or ham. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 25-30 minutes until the cheese melts and the macaroni browns. Once taken out of the oven, let it cool for at least 10-15 minutes. Then serve.

Directions
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In a large bowl, mix softened butter, sugar, eggs, and lemon extract. Make sure to slowly add eggs, one at a time until thoroughly mixed. The mixture should be “fluffy” and “creamy” in texture. Then mix in the flour, pudding, milk,lemon juice, and sour cream until the batter is well mixed. Then in two 8” or 9” greased and floured pans, pour in the batter. Bake for 30-45 minutes. Insert a knife or toothpick; if the knife or toothpick come out of the cake clean, then it is ready. Let the cake cool for about half an hour at room temperature. After the cake is cool, then frost each cake layer and cover them with the sweetened (unsweetened) coconut.

Directions:
In a mixer, combine softened butter and both sugars. Beat mixture until fluffy. Then slowly add the eggs and the vanilla extract. Continue until mixture is fluffy. Next, fold in the self rising flour and stir until well incorporated. Then fold in the dried fruit, spices, pineapple, apple sauce, orange juice, and lemon juice. Mix until well incorporated. Pour batter in a lightly greased and floured bundt pan. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 45 minutes or until you insert a toothpick and it comes out clean. You can even use a knife for this. In the center of the cake, stand the knife up in the cake. If the knife stands up, then it is done. Otherwise, bake for a few more minutes until done. Let the cake cool for 20 minutes. Then take the cake out of the pan and serve it in a plate.

Directions:
In a large bowl, mix the eggs, sugar, vanilla extract, and the softened butter. Continue beating and slowly add the eggs and beat until it is fluffy in texture. Add flour, box of pudding, cocoa, and the baking powder. Beat until well incorporated. Then pour in the milk and keep mixing. In a two 8" or 9" floured and greased pans, bake in a preheated 325 degree oven for 45-60 minutes. After baking for 45-60 minutes, use a butter knife or toothpick and poke in the center of the cake. If it comes out clean, then it is ready. Let cool at room temperature for at least an hour. Then flip the layers onto a plate and frost each layer.

Directions
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In a large bowl, mix softened butter, sugar, and eggs. Make sure to slowly add eggs, one at a time until thoroughly mixed. The mixture should be “fluffy” and “creamy” in texture. Next, add the pudding and the extracts; fold it into the mixture. Then mix in the flour, and milk until the batter is well mixed. Then in an 8" or 9" greased and floured pan, pour in the batter. Bake for 20-40 minutes. Insert a knife or toothpick; if the knife or toothpick comes out of the cake clean, then it is ready. Let the cake cool for about half an hour at room temperature. After the cake is cool, then frost each cake layer; pour the melted chocolate frosting. Cover them with the slivered almonds. Finally, serve.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

One thing I am thankful for is that I don't lack issues to write. I have many views, likes, and dislikes. I have no problem with that. It is just who I am.

For instance, I love this time of year. It was when I discovered new songs that I still play or have on my mp3 player. One day I would love to have an Ipod. However, I guess I have never been one to follow the crowd. I am just not good at "keeping up with the Joneses" or anyone else for that matter. I prefer to be myself, follow my own example, and go at it alone. Sometimes, it is beneficial; sometimes it is not.

I just am in love with this time of year. My anxiety is not as off the charts as it is during the rest of the year. I am so happy this year. I love the trees, the gifts, the pomp and circumstance, and most of all, the True Meaning of Christmas. His name is Jesus. While it may be the case that He was not born of a virgin on December 25, the real point was that He was born, ministered, was crucified and died for us all, conquered death, hell, and the grave, and resurrected. He has changed not just the lives, but the destinations and souls of numerous, including mine.

I for one, believe that despite outside the pomp and circumstance, that Jesus really is the Reason for the Season. I just don't like that many only think of Jesus on December 25 or Easter, but not beyond. Do they not believe that He is the same One who will be the Judge of all of us? Sure He was and still is loving and kind, but one should never play around with God. One day, all of the Christmases and the Easters will be over. Eternity is that: eternal and forever. Maybe all of us should celebrate Christmas in that way with that mindset.

I don't like cliches. I really don't know anyone who does. (Life is too short is the cliche I am going to use no matter how true it is.) Anyways, it is great to celebrate, but it is better to be mindful of Who, when, what, where, and why? Do we worship Him or do we worship the gifts and all that comes with it? Do we give and serve others because we love Him or because it is just something we do for the holidays and all of a sudden don't do as much most of the rest of the year? That is something that I have to keep in mind as I am not immune to being judged. It is rather poignant sometimes to think of Christmas in that way because God earned our Respect (to put it mildly), we are to love, fear, and reverence the One who has the power to cast us all into Hell or rapture the believer to Heaven to be with Him in the New Jerusalem forever. Whatever one's views of Christmas, that I know for certain will never change.

Monday, December 1, 2014

I would like to take the time to remind myself and others who I hope will be reading this about those black actresses who came before us. Black and part-black actresses like Halle Berry, Whoopi Goldberg, and numerous others whose names escape me should be thanking these ladies. They have paved the way for countless actresses from the blaxploitation era to right now. I wish I had heard of these ladies before. Okay, some of them, I have heard of and have seen, but still. Here are a few of them. I would like to watch these ladies on screen, or online.

Fredi Washington (RIP)

Lena Horne (RIP)

Pam Grier

Juanita Moore (RIP)

Louise Beavers (RIP)

Judy Pace

Diana Sands (RIP)

I myself wondered what would be like if I were an actress. It would be quite interesting. Well anyways, there are many more actresses "of color" that I could have put up, but there are so many and too little time. As a fan "of color" I am grateful.