Many of us have walls to protect our
inner insecurities, much like castles have high walls to
protect its inhabitants from outside dangers. While those
walls may help me in some ways, they also hurt me as
well. I feel imprisoned, and I snap down the deadbolt to
my heart time and time again.
As a result, my partner is often left
confused. At one moment I let them into my inner
sanctuary, and the next moment I shut them out, leaving
both of us feeling lonely and confused.
If I use the magical protection that
love gives me however, I can slowly start dismantling my
walls, stone by stone. Its magic can render most
"weapons" harmless. When my partner criticizes
me, I can see they are saying more about themselves than
they are of me. Answering unkind words with loving
kindness gives me a shield that makes arrows of
bitterness unable to penetrate my skin. Unless my SO is
treating me with unacceptable abuse, my walls will only
serve to keep frustrating both us in our search to truly
understand each other, and find compassion for our
imperfections.

Just for Today
The next time I feel as if I'm
"putting my walls up", I'll ask myself if
they're protecting me or imprisoning me? Am I giving
my SO the power to hurt me?
Today I'll take back that power by
reaffirming my goodness and specialness, and realizing
that their unkind words or actions say something about them,
not me.

Consider the fly on flypaper; it keeps sticking to
something that clearly doesn't help it. - BH