Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Bad Jokes Never Change

I've been trying to get some work done in my office while one of my seniors works a jigsaw puzzle across the room, talking out loud to himself. Non-stop. He comes each week for lunch: 3 hours early to work on the puzzle and today he decided to stay two hours after lunch. I wouldn't mind if my air conditioner wasn't malfunctioning (again) and blowing hot air instead of cool. (It was 70
degrees when I left the room to serve lunch, now it's almost 80).

As my office begins resembling a steamy jungle with a mumbling, jigsaw puzzle working mosquito in the background, Hubby calls with construction related questions. (Yeah, the construction that was suppose to happen LAST week while I was on vacation). Hubby doesn't like the computer. He thinks sending an e-mail means dictating to me as I sit in front of the screen. Today, sweat dripping from my brow as my internal temperature began overtaking my sense of humor, I talked him through printing a document from e-mail and faxing it. However, every time I answered one of Hubby's questions, my senior would call out, "What? Are you talking to me?" from across the room.

So here I am. Working to answer Hubby's texts (a method he prefers because he can dictate to the phone), re-booting the air conditioner (it's a long story...but it saves on repair calls), and cursing the work computer (making my senior yell, ""What? Are you talking to me?") when my cell phone rings. I don't recognize the number. Lately a slew of telemarketers have discovered my cell number. And yet, for some reason, (impending heat stroke?) I answer it any way. A child's voice says,

"Is your refrigerator running?"

Sigh.

I decide the best thing to do is just hang up, without comment. I block the number because this kid calls frequently, thinking it's her Grandma, no matter how many times I tell her she has the wrong number. Although the day she left a message demanding, "Grandma bring me jewelry. Not the junk stuff. REAL jewelry!" I was tempted to call back and discuss her manners. I didn't. Because I might have been rude.

So as I sit here melting, wondering if my office will ever be cool and quiet again at the same time, I glance at my cell phone. And a funny thing happens.

I burst our laughing.

How long, I wonder, have bored little kids randomly dialed a number to ask, "Is your refrigerator running?"

Tell you the truth....I was a little tempted to reply, "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" But, in my overheated and agitated state, I might've merely lectured that it was her responsibility to catch the fridge and let Prince Albert out.