]]>https://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/gross-things-that-mothers-secretly-doMon, 10 Apr 2017 11:39:47 -0400Poo or chocolate?orbynnonadultnonadult1. Gently scraping cradle cap away from your baby's scalp with a fingernail.
<b>2. Taking deep lungfuls of your kid's stinky morning breath, because realistically that's the only way you're going to get a 'good morning' kiss.
</b>
3. Poo or chocolate? The ultimate olfactory test.
<b>4. Catching your kid's vomit in your hands like a goddamned champ, instead of letting it spatter the walls and ceiling.</b>
5. Using a snot-sucker and managing to get every. Last. Nugget.
<b>6. <i>Not</i> using a snot-sucker, and wiping your kid's bogeys away with your bare hands, then just carrying them around until you find a tissue.</b>
7. And thinking "why don't they make stress balls out of this stuff?"
<b>8. Giving your baby a pedicure. With your teeth.</b>nonadultnonadult9. Pulling a reluctant poo out of a baby bum.
<b>10. Holding a brief poo party to celebrate the end of a bout of baby constipation.</b>
11. Describing your labour so graphically that everyone around you looks like <i>The Scream</i> by Edvard Munch.
<b>12. Letting your kid pee in the bath because urine is sterile, right?</b>
13. At least occasionally not washing your hands post-nappy change, for the same reason.
<b>14. Finishing your kid’s leftovers, including the stuff they’ve chewed.</b>
15. Hosing a particularly stubborn bit of poo off your child in the shower, following a poonami.
<b>16. Biting food in half for your kid, because who has time to slice grapes.</b>
17. Debating what newborn poo smells like. Vanilla? Yoghurt? Burnt matches?nonadultnonadult<b>18. Leaving the house in whatever clothing has the least amount of poo, vomit, or pee stains on them.</b>
19. Not immediately flinging your child away if they vomit in your mouth when you hold them up in the air.
<b>20. Accepting sloppy kisses from faces slick with food, snot, and saliva.</b>
21. Allowing your baby to stick its fingers in your nose, because it cares.
<b>22. Photographing a giant kid-poo so you can admire its majesty at your leisure.</b>
23. Cleaning your house with baby wipes.
<b>24. Cleaning yourself with baby wipes.</b>
25. Cleaning your baby with your own spit because you're out of baby wipes.nonadultnonadult<b>26. Tasting breast milk.</b>
27. Putting breast milk in your coffee.
<b>28. Skipping brushing your kid’s teeth during a busy morning.</b>
29. Measuring your child’s height growth by the height of the food smears on the walls of your house.
<b>30. Monitoring your kid’s bum for pin-worms and actually <i>grabbing</i> a few of the bastards.</b>
31. Wet-combing the lice colonies out of your child’s hair.
<b>32. Wiping the yellowy conjunctivitis gunk out of your kid's eyes.</b>
33. The joy that is yanking a prize-winning bogey out of a tiny nostril.
<b>34. Getting "surprise poo finger" when touching the waistband of your baby's nappy.</b>nonadult21 Things That Will Only Make Sense If You Have A Colicky Babyhttps://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/please-stop-crying?utm_term=4ldqpia
#pleasestopcrying

Hooray! You have a new baby. A snuggly bundle of squidgy, adorable joy. By day.

Don't worry. At some point the clouds will part, the colic will stop, and you'll get your bundle of squidgy joy back again.

You'll have been there, done that, and got the T-shirt.

]]>https://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/please-stop-cryingSat, 06 Feb 2016 09:01:17 -0500<b>#pleasestopcrying</b>orbynnonadult<i>BY DAY.</i>nonadultnonadultWhy won't it stop? Why is it so shrill? How can something so tiny and delicate make a noise like a road drill for hours on end?nonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultNot to mention your heart is breaking.nonadultIf you're lucky, you might lose consciousness for a second.nonadultnonadultCut yourself some slack: You've only slept for six hours this whole week.nonadultYour parents say it doesn't exist. Your friends say you should quit dairy. Your sister thinks you should take your baby to the chiropractor.nonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultYou pick up a bunch of little colic hacks, like feeding your baby upright and burping him in the middle of a feed to reduce trapped wind.nonadultnonadultnonadultIn fact, you've developed a shorthand based on the intensity of the crying. "How was the baby last night?" "Oh, not the worst. He only reached level 4."nonadultnonadultCheeks and all.nonadultnonadult11 Reasons Why Migraines Aren’t Regular Headacheshttps://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/reasons-why-migraines-arent-regular-head-hc45
No loud noises, please.

If your head hurts, but London looks like this, you probably just have a regular headache.

Regular headaches don’t turn you into Nosferatu.

Bright and even moderate light can can aggravate the bit of your brain that's active during a migraine, which means that I am perfectly within my rights to wear these sunglasses indoors and do not by any stretch of the imagination look like a knobend.

You can’t get a regular headache in your stomach.

Regular headaches don’t make your stomach stop working.

Migraines slow digestive processes, so people with migraines need to take their medicine as soon as possible - before they're even sure it's definitely a migraine - in case their stomachs stop absorbing food.

This is a migraine.

Regular headache.

Migraine.

Regular headache.

MIGRAINE.

BRB, got a migraine.

]]>https://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/reasons-why-migraines-arent-regular-head-hc45Wed, 15 Jan 2014 07:53:28 -0500<b>No loud noises, please.</b>orbynnonadultnonadultnonadultAround 15% of migraines start with visual disturbances called <a href="http://www.migrainetrust.org/symptoms">&lsquo;aura&rsquo;</a>, which can seriously affect your ability to see. Some people even go temporarily blind.
NB: migraines don&rsquo;t just occur in London.nonadultIn which case, once they start developing apps for the cerebral cortex, your Instagram feed is going to be <i>amazing</i>.nonadultBut migraines are often preceded by <a href="http://www.migraine.org.uk/information/factsheets/migraine-warning-signs/">extreme tiredness, cravings, crankiness and cognitive problems</a>. For many people, these are useful signs that they should batten down the hatches. For others, including the author, these symptoms just signify that it&#39;s Tuesday.nonadultBright and even moderate light can <a href="http://migraine.com/blog/migraine-symptoms-photophobia-sensitivity-to-light/">can aggravate</a> the bit of your brain that&#39;s active during a migraine, which means that I am perfectly within my rights to wear these sunglasses indoors and do not by any stretch of the imagination look like a knobend.nonadultAlso, the tissues surrounding your brain swells up, so your hat might feel a little snug.nonadultAt least they <i>shouldn&#39;t</i>. If you&#39;re experiencing a festival of intense throbbing on one side of your head, it&#39;s probably a migraine. See your doctor.nonadultBut if you have a nauseous stomach ache that lasts between one and 72 hours, guess what? It might be an <a href="http://migraine.com/migraine-types/abdominal-migraine/">abdominal migraine</a>, because apparently these exist, too.nonadult<a href="http://www.migrainetrust.org/treatment">Migraines slow digestive processes</a>, so people with migraines need to take their medicine as soon as possible - before they&#39;re even sure it&#39;s definitely a migraine - in case their stomachs stop absorbing food.nonadultCould be too much sleep. Could be too little. Could be chocolate, stress, gluten, coffee, Colin Farrell movies, or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSFB2ytWJLQ">this sleepy bunny</a>. Science doesn&#39;t know.nonadultOnly migraines and cheap cider do this.nonadultBut <a href="http://www.migrainetrust.org/factsheet-facts-and-figures-about-migraine-10860">it lists severe migraine among disabling illnesses</a> such as dementia and quadriplegia.nonadultBecause hooray!nonadultAgain, only migraine and cheap cider can do this. Although cheap cider doesn&#39;t make you sit through eight repeats of <i>Gossip Girl</i> with a hot water bottle clamped to your shoulder blades.nonadultnonadultnonadultObviously if you think you're having migraines - or even if you&#39;re having too many headaches - see your doctor.nonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultSee you in a week or whatever.nonadultSainsbury's Responded To A Customer On Twitter With An Endless Stream Of Fish Punshttps://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/50-fish-puns-that-sainsburys-traded-with-a-cu-hc45
We counted no fewer than fifty. Take a bow, Sainsbury’s Twitter person.

For instance, imagine that you're having the best day ever.

Well, you could start shaking for no reason.

And you could suddenly find yourself unable to catch your breath. Then your hands might start tingling. Then your chest might hurt. THEN you might be overcome with terror, a desperate need for a toilet, and the dread certainty that you're about to vomit up every single meal you’ve ever eaten.

But, while a panic attack can feel like the worst thing in the world, most of the symptoms are caused by your brain unexpectedly dumping a bunch of adrenaline into your bloodstream.

Wrongly sensing danger, your brain has flooded your muscles with blood and put your senses on high alert to help you to deal with the danger. This is called a fight-or-flight response, and it's super useful during, say, a bear attack. When it hits while you're grocery shopping, however, it can be just plain traumatic.

But you can take the edge off a panic attack — or even cut one short — with these five anxiety hacks.

Put your hands in the air like you just don't care.

Have a good old stretch as soon as you realise you're panicking. Sneak in a yawn if you can. Although you may not realise it, when you panic you breathe too quickly and shallowly, which can exacerbate your symptoms. Yawning and stretching can interrupt this cycle, relieves the tension in your muscles, and makes you look cool like Fonzie.

Inhale, hold, exhale.

Don't get your knickers in a twist trying to remember complicated breathing techniques. Just inhale for three counts, hold for three counts, then exhale for six. This activates your body's parasympathetic nervous system, which regulates relaxation and sleep. You should soon automatically start to feel a little calmer.

Concentrate on your peripheral vision.

Another way to trigger your parasympathetic nervous system is to stare straight ahead while focusing your attention on your peripheral vision. Spend a few minutes concentrating on what’s happening on the edges of your eyesight. The more you practice this, the more relaxing you’ll find it.

Walk it off.

Right now you're brimming with excess adrenaline. In the event of a bear attack, you’d expend that energy by fighting, then fleeing, then furiously tweeting your experience. But this isn't a bear attack, and all that extra adrenaline is just giving you racing thoughts and sweaty palms. So go for a gentle stroll and walk it off. Or, you know, find a bear to attack*.

Get some perspective.

A panic attack can seem like it's consuming you, but it will subside. Your body doesn't have infinite supplies of adrenaline and you cannot physically sustain a panic attack forever. Keep telling yourself that it will pass — putting your panic attack into perspective can help pull you out of it.

Because although things may seem like this now:

Soon the world will feel like a friendly place again.

When it's all over, have a lie down.

A panic attack can leave you feeling cold, shaky, and a bit freaked out, but a nap, a hot bath, and some tea can help to restore your equilibrium. If you're having a lot of panic attacks, of course, you should see a doctor to find out what's behind them.

But if you have another one, now you'll know what to do.

]]>https://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/how-to-survive-a-panic-attack-hc45Tue, 07 Jan 2014 08:24:35 -0500<b>Your misfiring adrenal glands are no match for these mighty RELAXATION SKILLS!</b>orbynnonadultnonadultThe sun is shining, you found a spare penny, you held the door open for a stranger, and <i>he thanked you</i>. What could possibly go wrong on a brilliant day like this?nonadultAnd you could suddenly find yourself unable to catch your breath. Then your hands might start tingling. Then your chest might hurt. THEN you might be overcome with terror, a desperate need for a toilet, and the dread certainty that you&#39;re about to vomit up every single meal you&rsquo;ve ever eaten.nonadultnonadultWrongly sensing danger, your brain has flooded your muscles with blood and put your senses on high alert to help you to deal with the danger. This is called a <a href="http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/fear2.htm">fight-or-flight response</a>, and it&#39;s super useful during, say, a bear attack. When it hits while you&#39;re grocery shopping, however, it can be just plain traumatic.nonadult<b>But you can take the edge off a panic attack &mdash; or even cut one short &mdash; with these five anxiety hacks.</b>nonadultHave a good old stretch as soon as you realise you&#39;re panicking. Sneak in a yawn if you can. Although you may not realise it, when you panic you breathe too quickly and shallowly, which can exacerbate your symptoms. Yawning and stretching can interrupt this cycle, relieves the tension in your muscles, and makes you look cool like <a href="https://github-camo.global.ssl.fastly.net/9f1ac41d3dc1ec855ef56aec66d8faa3255920d7/687474703a2f2f7777772e6d6564696162697374726f2e636f6d2f66697368626f776c64632f66696c65732f323031302f31322f666f6e7a69655f68656e72795f77696e6b6c65725f68617070795f646179732e6a7067">Fonzie</a>.nonadultDon&#39;t get your knickers in a twist trying to remember complicated breathing techniques. Just <b>inhale for three counts</b>, <b>hold for three counts</b>, then <b>exhale for six</b>. This activates your body&#39;s <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/p/parasympathetic_nervous_system.htm">parasympathetic nervous system</a>, which regulates relaxation and sleep. You should soon automatically start to feel a little calmer.nonadultAnother way to trigger your parasympathetic nervous system is to stare straight ahead while <a href="http://www.wildmind.org/applied/stress/meditation-for-the-very-very-busy">focusing your attention on your peripheral vision</a>. Spend a few minutes concentrating on what&rsquo;s happening on the edges of your eyesight. The more you practice this, the more relaxing you&rsquo;ll find it.nonadultRight now you&#39;re brimming with excess adrenaline. In the event of a bear attack, you&rsquo;d expend that energy by fighting, then fleeing, then furiously tweeting your experience. But this isn&#39;t a bear attack, and all that extra adrenaline is just giving you racing thoughts and sweaty palms. So go for a gentle stroll and walk it off. Or, you know, find a bear to attack*.
*Do not find a bear to attack.nonadultA panic attack can seem like it&#39;s consuming you, but it will subside. Your body doesn&#39;t have infinite supplies of adrenaline and you cannot physically sustain a panic attack forever. Keep telling yourself that it will pass &mdash; putting your panic attack into perspective can help pull you out of it.nonadultnonadultHonest.nonadultA panic attack can leave you feeling cold, shaky, and a bit freaked out, but a nap, a hot bath, and some tea can help to restore your equilibrium. If you&#39;re having a lot of panic attacks, of course, you should see a doctor to find out what&#39;s behind them.nonadultnonadult11 Bulletproof Ways To Get Through Diet Seasonhttps://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/11-bulletproof-ways-to-get-through-diet-season-hc45
I don’t know who this ‘master’ is, but he can naff off with his ‘cleanse’.

Welp, here we are in January.

It’s freezing, your trouser cuffs are permanently wet, you spent all your money over Christmas, and your jeans are too tight. But you can get through the month without buying a Thighmaster. You can.

You can have them in a sausage casserole.

Or a pie.

And the best part? Guess what counts as one of your five helpings of fruits and vegetables a day?

]]>https://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/11-bulletproof-ways-to-get-through-diet-season-hc45Tue, 07 Jan 2014 08:19:55 -0500<b>I don&rsquo;t know who this &lsquo;master&rsquo; is, but he can naff off with his &lsquo;cleanse&rsquo;.</b>orbynnonadultIt&rsquo;s freezing, your trouser cuffs are permanently wet, you spent all your money over Christmas, and your jeans are too tight. But you can get through the month without buying a Thighmaster. You <i>can</i>.nonadultBecause the answer is <i>no</i>, not when your blood is 60% port and you&rsquo;ve become used to a regular pre-lunch sherry. Aim for a <i>moist</i> January, and stick to your <a href="http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/Pages/alcohol-units.aspx">recommended weekly alcohol units</a> instead.nonadultIt&rsquo;s pronounced &lsquo;<i>war-tur</i>&rsquo;. You might not recognise it because it didn&rsquo;t come in a gift box with some speciality cheese, but try drinking a glass of it before and after every meal anyway.nonadultOr leftover advent calendar chocolate OR edible tree decorations. Try cereal instead. And talking of cereal...nonadultLife&#39;s too short to eat milky polystyrene twice a day in the hope of losing a ghost of an inch from your pelvic region.nonadultSure you do! It&rsquo;s what you used to eat between meals before all those mince pies arrived in the house! Give fruit another go. However&hellip;nonadultThey&rsquo;ll draw you in with their promises of glowing skin, then leave you with a &pound;500 juicer that will turn 20lb of fruit into exactly 0.01 nanolitres of sickly green-grey sludge. <i>Once</i>.nonadultNice try, Pizza Hut, but I have no room for your cheese-stuffed crust. I&#39;m still a stuffing-stuffed <i>human</i> from Christmas.nonadult<i>Nobody knows what probiotic yoghurts do.</i>nonadultnonadultLiving on laxatives and a mixture of Cayenne pepper, lemons and maple syrup, huh? Let&#39;s not meet.nonadultThere&rsquo;s a one in two chance they&rsquo;ll include the word &lsquo;colon&rsquo;.nonadultRemember vegetables? Try and have five helpings of fruits and vegetables a day. You don&rsquo;t have to have them in a salad.nonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultHooray for diet season!nonadultThe 10 Emotions We All Experience In Primarkhttps://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/the-15-conflicting-emotions-we-all-experience-in-p-hc45
Rage, third world guilt, unexpected legwarmer lust, repeat.

Hooray, it’s time for a trip to Primark, Valhalla of unexpected fashion bargains!

Home Alone: when Kevin's mother returns.

Ugh, Macaulay Culkin's Kevin is so bratty. I'm totally rooting for the bad guys. Oh wait, he's befriended his lonely old neighbour. Oh look, he's wandering folornly round his empty house. Gasp! His mother's finally come home, and she's standing there looking all lovely and soft-focus while her lost little boy gazes at her unbelievingly. Oh look, I have something in my eye. A bit.

It's a Wonderful Life: "Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings."

Breathe. Breathe. If you breathe you can get through this. Oh no, lovely hard-done-by George Bailey just winked and said "attaboy, Clarence". Permission to fall apart granted.

The beginning of Santa Claus the Movie.

Oh look, it's a kindly old couple who make toys for children! Oh look, they're going for a lovely sleigh ride! Oh my god, they are freezing to death in the North Pole. This is a children's movie, for crying out loud. WAIT. It's okay. They're being transformed into Santa and Mrs Claus. Phew. Hang on, does that mean that Santa's a zombie?

Elf: "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."

Not going to cry. Seen Elf before. I know how this works - Zooey Deschanel sings, the music swells, we're meant to get all emotional, and OH MY GOD THEY'RE SINGING OH MY HEART. He does know when you are sleeping! He does know when you're awake! Okay, fine, I fell for it.

Every syrupy second of this made-for-TV film.

"Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please / It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size / Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time / You see she's been sick for quite a while / And I know these shoes would make her smile / And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight."

Hooray for cigarettes!

Cigarettes are your best friends! You love having them around, they help you relax and work through your problems and - just like all good best friends - they taste brilliant. But then one day you have….

Your first smellpiphany.

Whether you catch a whiff of damp smoker on a rainy day, or you breathe in your own smoke-saturated hair, one day it finally hits you: you don't smell of shampoo and CK One at all. You reek of stale ashtrays. And CK One. Basically you smell like all of N-Dubz at 14.

Nocturnal self-diagnosis.

You spring awake at midnight, somehow knowing that you've contracted gangrene of the heart, or lung-measles. You swear solemnly to Odin and all the gods of Asgard that, if they'll just spare your life, you'll definitely quit smoking in the morning.

Almost instant regret!

You are a monster. What did cigarettes ever do to you, other than make you smell bad and threaten to significantly shorten your life? They were your best friends, and you ruthlessly cast them aside. Consumed with guilt, you cry at random intervals, unstoppably, and snottily.

Oral fixation.

The discovery (and subsequent rejection) of Haribo.

Sour, fizzy sweets go some way to quenching those scratchy, back-of-the-throat nicotine cravings, but you have to cut back when all the sugar wears your teeth down to blackened stumps. Then you discover that carbonated water works pretty well on cravings, too. So now you have no teeth, and you burp a lot. Life is a journey.

The rebrand.

The dreamtime.

Your dreams take on a new dimension. Whatever you’re doing in your dream - flying, hunting for tea towels, actually being Doctor Who - you also take up dream-smoking. This happens so often that your morning ritual now involves patting yourself down for lighters, and checking your room for ashtrays.

The paradigm shift.

The subtle benefits of not smoking creep up on you. Food tastes amazing, you can now gasp in huge lungfuls of air when you exercise. Cigarette breaks are a thing of the past, so you don't have to leave the warm pub until home-time, and long-haul flights no longer involve counting down the seconds till your next cigarette.

What you can buy for ten whole British pounds.

Your second smellpiphany.

One day, something in the air makes you cough. What's going on? Are you on fire? Did you inhale a bee? Nope, you're just standing near a smoker. You've been off the snouts so long that cigarette smoke doesn't smell like cigarettes anymore - it just smells like smoke.

Congratulations! You are now officially a non-smoker.

]]>https://www.buzzfeed.com/orbyn/the-17-stages-of-giving-up-smoking-2-hc45Tue, 10 Dec 2013 04:44:12 -0500<b>Smoking, not smoking, crying....</b>orbynnonadultCigarettes are your best friends! You love having them around, they help you relax and work through your problems and - just like all good best friends - they taste brilliant. But then one day you have&hellip;.nonadultWhether you catch a whiff of damp smoker on a rainy day, or you breathe in your own smoke-saturated hair, one day it finally hits you: you don&#39;t smell of shampoo and CK One at all. You reek of stale ashtrays. <i>And</i> CK One. Basically you smell like all of N-Dubz at 14.nonadultYou spring awake at midnight, somehow <i>knowing</i> that you&#39;ve contracted gangrene of the heart, or lung-measles. You swear solemnly to Odin and all the gods of Asgard that, if they&#39;ll just spare your life, you&#39;ll definitely quit smoking in the morning.nonadultYou don&#39;t quit smoking in the morning - of course you don&#39;t. You&#39;re addicted to nicotine, and you&#39;re not <i>that</i> convinced that Thor gives a hammer about your smoking habits.nonadultFinally, though, you quit! Because cigarettes aren&rsquo;t the boss of <i>you</i>. You are your <i>own</i> master. You are a tower of fortitude! You are a force of nature! You are a blazing beacon of strength!nonadultYou are a <i>monster</i>. What did cigarettes ever do to you, other than make you smell bad and threaten to significantly shorten your life? They were your best friends, and you ruthlessly cast them aside. Consumed with guilt, you cry at random intervals, unstoppably, and snottily.nonadultYou are a shivering, aching husk of a human, with a billion screaming nerve endings that you can&rsquo;t claw at because you&rsquo;re overcome with inertia.nonadultEveryone in this supermarket is directly in your path, this checkout queue is moving too slowly, the woman in front of you is too shrill, and <i>her potatoes are looking at you funny</i>. DESTROY EVERYTHING.nonadultWait, were you angry just now? What about? What did you come shopping for? You&rsquo;d ask these questions yourself, only you&rsquo;ve already forgotten them. Wait, forgotten what?nonadultYou befriend smokers so you can breathe in their fumes. You also sit too close to them and inhale too noisily. It gets a little weird.nonadultNicotine withdrawal makes you crave entirely unexpected things. Biscuits. Cough sweets. Home electronics. Hardware.nonadultSour, fizzy sweets go some way to quenching those scratchy, back-of-the-throat nicotine cravings, but you have to cut back when all the sugar wears your teeth down to blackened stumps. Then you discover that carbonated water works pretty well on cravings, too. So now you have no teeth, and you burp a lot. Life is a journey.nonadultYou&rsquo;re NOT an ex-smoker. You&rsquo;re a &lsquo;retired cigarette enthusiast&rsquo;. You&rsquo;re not sure why, but you feel very strongly about this, and you keep announcing this loudly when you&#39;ve had a few drinks.nonadultYour dreams take on a new dimension. Whatever you&rsquo;re doing in your dream - flying, hunting for tea towels, actually being Doctor Who - you <i>also</i> take up dream-smoking. This happens so often that your morning ritual now involves patting yourself down for lighters, and checking your room for ashtrays.nonadultThe subtle benefits of not smoking creep up on you. Food tastes amazing, you can now gasp in huge lungfuls of air when you exercise. Cigarette breaks are a thing of the past, so you don&#39;t have to leave the warm pub until home-time, and long-haul flights no longer involve counting down the seconds till your next cigarette.
Are you actively enjoying <i>not</i> smoking?nonadultIt dawns on you that, very soon, a packet of 20 cigarettes will soon cost &pound;10. TEN WHOLE BRITISH POUNDS. Do you know what you can buy for ten British pounds? Other than cigarettes, I mean?nonadult118th of an all-inclusive holiday in the Maldives.nonadult7.75 bags of Haribo Tangfastics.nonadult<a href="http://www.petsathome.com/shop/syrian-hamster-10107">This Syrian hamster</a>.nonadultOne day, something in the air makes you cough. What&#39;s going on? Are you on fire? Did you inhale a bee? Nope, you&#39;re just standing near a smoker. You&#39;ve been off the snouts so long that cigarette smoke doesn&#39;t smell like cigarettes anymore - it just smells like <i>smoke</i>.nonadultYou&#39;ve cut your risk of cancer and heart disease; your skin, sex life and breath will improve; and you won&#39;t smell like ashtrays anymore! You should be very proud.nonadult