Where I’ve Been And Where I Am Going

Hello, Friends. It’s been awhile. You’re probably wondering what I’ve been up to lately. So am I. What have I been up to lately? Let’s find out.

Last month I celebrated the one-year anniversary of leaving my lucrative job at a collapsing company to pursue my dream. My dream of not working there, and working somewhere else. I didn’t know it at the time, but I wasn’t going to work somewhere else. I was going to work nowhere else. Which, incidentally, also made it the one-year anniversary of not having a real job.

I know what you’re thinking: where’d I get these pants? JC Penney. How did I survive a whole year without a job? Easy. I just lived off my trust fund1. I hear a lot of people complaining about the economy and not having enough money… Hey, Stupids! Use your trust funds! That’s what they’re there for! Using! So dumb.

Anyway, as you know if you’ve been following me religiously, amen, I became a PROFESSIONAL WRITER. Which, as you know if you’ve been following me agnostically, maybe?, means nothing, really. However, sometimes people do pay me to write things, because my words are worth money. (Yours are not, so don’t get ideas; it’s not just the words, it’s the order of the words—technical terms: syntax, diction, verbiage, sausage, gerund, past-participle—see? So, just forget it.) Also, if you are a company or something, and need words, I will sell them to you.

But my booming career is just part of my wild, wild Year One! I have also boomed in other areas. Like, for example, being popular.

Think of everyone you know… Got it? OK, now answer this: am I one of those people? Yes? Bingo. Popular! ‘Was a farmer had a dog, you know? That’s me. Bingo.

Needless to say, I’ve got a lot of cooking projects in the oven. They are warm.

I made buttons. There are all gone now.

Oh, P.S. Keep your look out for This is Podcast, The Official This Is Conlan Podcast.

Financial Advisor: “I trust you understand me when I tell you, you have no money. At all. Get it?” [↩]