Weren’t able to make it to the Golden Fez Champs and you wish you could have been there for every hit? You’re in luck! The New England Roller Derby Report (NERDerby) live streamed the games, and you can watch—and rewatch—those archives. When you’re done, read our championship game recap for even more Boston Roller Derby coverage.

HARBOR HORRORS VS WICKED PISSAHS

COSMONAUGHTIES VS NUTCRACKERS

The 2016 Boston Roller Derby home team season closed out with an exciting doubleheader on Oct. 22, which the Cosmonaughties kicked off by solidly taking third place in their matchup against the Nutcrackers. The second game of the night—the championship battle—was a test of endurance between two skilled teams with heavy hitters, quick-footed jammers and deep benches of veteran experience mixed with rookie talent. The audience in Shriners Auditorium was held in anticipation until the final whistle when the Harbor Horrors pulled an upset over the Wicked Pissahs in a thrilling finale.

The Harbor Horrors had a 2-2 season record, while the Wicked Pissahs entered undefeated. The game started off with back-to-back power jams in the first jam of the game, as Stevie Nixher picked up a penalty for the Pissahs but was quickly followed to the box by the Horrors’ Flyin’ King. The jam ended 10-5 in favor of the Horrors, setting the tone for a tight back-and-forth game, with power jams repeatedly dropping lead changes.

The game remained tensely close, with the Horrors only holding a 3-point lead over the Pissahs at the end of the first half. The Pissahs, perhaps inspired by Gunpowder Gelatine’s cover of Queen’s “We Are The Champions” during the halftime show, started to pull away with a more comfortable lead in the second period.

But power jams continued to swing the momentum back and forth. With less than six minutes remaining in the game, Rainbow Crash delivered multiple scoring passes on a power jam against a scrambling Pissah defense—tightening her opponent’s margin to just a single point. The Pissahs continued to hold onto a narrow lead, but quickly lost it when Stevie Nixher was sent to the box and Flyin’ King was handed a power start. King skillfully maneuvered around blockers to deliver a lead change and a small point advantage for the Horrors, which the Pissahs weren’t able to overcome before the final whistle. The Harbor Horrors won 182-177, marking their third championship title in Boston Roller Derby’s history.

“This year’s Fez championship was an incredible game! The Pissahs are a very tough opponent,” beamed Harbor Horrors Co-Captain MC Slamher. “The Horrors have put in a lot of work, but we also had a lot of fun this season. It was great to end on such a close game. We fought hard for that win!”

Many thanks to all of the friends, fans, family and volunteers for making this such a successful night and for supporting Boston Roller Derby throughout the season. See you in 2017!

The Boston Massacre is the All-Star travel team from Boston Roller Derby. We are a group of 20 athletes from the Boston area who travel across the country and internationally to compete against other roller derby teams. We are currently ranked 19 out of nearly 300 international member leagues of the Woman’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA).

While we are all extremely passionate about roller derby, it is an expensive hobby to bring to the public. The average travel team skater spends roughly $2,000-$4,000 per year on membership fees, equipment, transportation and lodging. That’s not even including medical expenses that inevitably arise from playing an intense, full-contact sport.

To help lower the financial burden on our skaters, we are raising money for the 2016 season leading up to the Division 1 WFTDA Playoffs. All money raised will go toward airplane tickets, hotel rooms and transportation to games and tournaments.

We dedicate so much of our time, effort and money into roller derby because, to us, it’s more than just a sport. It’s an opportunity for us to give back in small ways like this or this or this. It’s a place to build confident young girls and teens, and it’s an athletic community that welcomes diverse age, body type, racial, ethnic, and gender identities.

Please help us reach our fundraising goal of $15,000 by donating today! From each and everyone of our skaters, we thank you so much for your support!

The 2015 season was a powerful and transformative one for Boston Roller Derby, and the coaches and captain of the teams could not be more proud of the success they’ve seen this past year.

The all-star travel team, Boston Massacre, finished the season with a 10-5 record. They placed fifth at their playoff tournament in Omaha this fall, taking wins over Helsinki, No Coast and their first win in league history against Toronto. The strong showing there launched the team to 20th in the world on the WFTDA rankings. The 2014 season had ended with them at 25.

BRD’s home teams also had an exciting year as the teams grew and elevated the competition throughout the season, which ultimately culminated in the Cosmonaughties taking home their first championship win in the team’s ten-year history.

The Cosmonaughties celebrate their championship victory. Photo by Joe Medolo.

That triumph was Cosmo co-captain Nora Morse’s proudest moment of the season, though she said she has a lot to be proud of her team for.

“That is just a piece of everything that was great about this season.” she said. “Every game we stayed focused on playing together and playing the way that we had trained. Every time we came off the track we had smiles and were complimenting each other on what we were doing well.”

The Cosmos took out the Wicked Pissahs in a close game for the Fez, but as Pissah co-captain Neurotic Tendency explained, the team still had plenty to be happy about this season.“One of our major goals this year was to play cohesively as a team,” she said. “We worked a lot on communication and building solid walls. We have a bunch of talent, and knew if we could play solidly as a team, we could improve our ranking from the last two seasons. Which we did!”

The Nutcrackers had a slow start to the season. Not only did the team draft the most skaters this spring, they also drafted the biggest crop of skaters who were brand new to derby. It was a season of growing and learning for the team, which paid off with time. After going 0-4 at the start of the year, the Nuts pulled out a victory for third place against the Horrors.“From day one of being drafted, the Nut vets took us rookies under their wings,” said Rebel Defiance, who joined the Nutcrackers in the spring draft. “Each week I had new challenges given to me personally and built upon each practice we had.”

This was a season of growth for BRD rookies, like Elektra Cute and Rachel Tensions of the Horrors, pictured above blocking Nutcracker jammer Peaches n’ Creamya . Photo by Joe Medolo.

Though the Horrors, defending champions from the last two seasons, placed fourth this year, co-captain MC SlamHer is excited with what her team has accomplished.“Despite our final ranking, we improved a lot this year and got our newer players some valuable experience. Their growth was really impressive,” she said. “We wanted to see a lot of growth from our new players and we totally did.”

Everyone in BRD is training hard in the offseason to come back even bigger and better for 2016, including the participants in our training camp for new skaters. Be sure to check out our website for updates on our schedule and to get discounted tickets for our home games, or sign up for our newsletter.

Cosmonaughties take home historic first win in home team championships

It was a commanding season for the Cosmonaughties this year, as the Boston Roller Derby home team finally clinched its long-awaited Golden Fez victory.

The 2015 Cosmos pose with the Golden Fez after their championship win against the Pissahs. Photo by Joe Medolo.

The team went undefeated all season to secure a win over the Wicked Pissahs in the final game of the year. After a decade in the league, it was the first championship win for the team, and a moment that co-captain Nora Morse said they have been working hard for.

“We were focused on being dynamic and being able to snap together,” she explained. “We trained with drills that made us go from being spread apart to being a wall. We had a few team goals for the entire season: calm, communication, and fun.”

It was this collection of goals that helped the Cosmos stay together as a team and to develop the connections they needed to play together, she said. For them, playing well wasn’t about watching the score. It was about being in the moment and skating the way they knew how to.

“As a team, the Cosmos were focused on enjoying every minute playing together on the track, talking as much as possible and being dynamic in our walls and game play,” Nora said. “At Champs, you could seeing the smiles as people came off the track and how positive everyone was on the track. We played our game and didn’t let ourselves get caught up in the score or penalties. It was awesome.”

The Cosmos spent the season working on their walls and staying together, which made them a formidable presence on the track. Photo by Joe Medolo.

Nora said that for her, the best part of leading the team is being able to ask her skaters questions and leading them to collective answers. Moments like that, she said, where she can see little improvements in how people are performing and recognizing when things come together for them are her favorite parts of the job.“BRD is such a big league with a lot to offer,” she said. The many ways that skaters can get together and grow as individuals and as teammates are what create victories like the Cosmos had this year.

Wicked Pissahs take second at home team champs, relish in team camaraderie

The Wicked Pissahs are thrilled with what they accomplished this year, finishing the 2015 home team season in second place, up from third in the two seasons before. What’s more, co-captain Neurotic Tendency said, was the attitude and enjoyment that was built into every aspect of the team dynamic.

The 2015 Wicked Pissahs. Photo by Joe Medolo.

The Wicked Pissahs are thrilled with what they accomplished this year, finishing the 2015 home team season in second place, up from third in the two seasons before. What’s more, co-captain Neurotic Tendency said, was the attitude and enjoyment that was built into every aspect of the team dynamic.

“One of our major goals this year was to play cohesively as a team,” she said. “We worked a lot on communication and building solid walls. We have a bunch of talent, and knew if we could play solidly as a team, we could improve our ranking from the last two seasons. Which we did!”

The team means a lot to the skaters who are on it, Neurotic explained, and said that for her as a captain and a coach, it’s that love and camaraderie that exemplifies what the roller derby community is all about.

“There isn’t one proudest moment as coach for me; it’s all the little moments that I look back on that make me proud. The times when we were de-gearing or having a post-practice meal and someone would say, ‘what a great practice!’, the times when you could see someone take your advice and try it, and their face looked like a light-bulb going off. But mostly the times people would stop me, look in my eyes and say, ‘I love being a Pissah!’”Neurotic also said that for her, watching her team grow and seeing the way the skaters evolved to work together or to see the advanced skaters helping the new ones reach their personal goals is especially powerful to her. “We had a really good vibe at the end of the season, our experienced skaters were working really hard with our less experienced skaters so the whole team could grow together,” she said, adding that she doesn’t want to take credit for anyone’s growth.

“That is a lot of their own hard work,” she said, emphasizing that while experienced skaters and a supportive environment gave new skaters the tools to grow, it was their own efforts that made it happen.

For Neurotic, one of the most prominent moments for that came during the playoff game against the Horrors, who had beaten the Pissahs earlier in the season.

“That Horrors game was amazing,” she said. “We played together, didn’t lose focus and managed to pull out the win in a very competitive game. There’s a photo from the last jam when everyone on the bench is standing in solidarity, embracing each other. Moments like that are why we do derby in the first place, and why we love this team.”

The Pissahs watch the final jams of their playoff bout together, a moment that co-captain Neurotic Tendency said showed the solidarity that makes her love her team. Photo by Joe Medolo.

Neurotic will captain the team again next season, alongside mid-season draft Aubrey Planitz who came in and took on a guiding role for the newer skaters in 2015. Neurotic said that their goals for next year will be much of the same as she worked on with co-captain Evabyn Slapt this past season. “I hope we can pick up where we left off right away,” she said. “It was great seeing people be challenged and really grow. “

Nutcrackers pull off decisive late victory in a season of growth and potential

With six new draftees at the start of the 2015, four of whom were rookies, the Nutcrackers knew it would be a season of development and nurturing the potential of new skaters.

The 2015 Nutcrackers. Photo by Joe Medolo.

“This season the Nuts had so many new skaters,” co-captain Mandoline Slicer said. “Our primary goals were to learn how to play as a team and to encourage and support each other through this time of growth.”

It may have seemed like a slow start to the year for the Nuts after going 0-3 during the regular season, but behind the scenes they knew that they were getting stronger and learning how to play together as a team. Each practice was an opportunity for growth for their new skaters, and the time the team spent together on the track helped them to evolve into a cohesive unit.

“We’ve been working our little nutty tails off,” Slicer said.

It was hard work that finally paid off in the last game of the season. The Nuts faced off against the Horrors in the third place game during the championship, and for much of the first half the score was very back-and-forth between the two teams. By the end of the game, however, the Nuts had secured a strong lead and took home a long-awaited victory.

The Nutcrackers celebrate their first win of the season. Photo by Joe Medolo.

The season wasn’t just about the bouts, however. The Nuts like to work hard and play hard, and off the track support and togetherness was just as much a part of their growth as their drills and practices were.“Our time together, both on and off the track, was full of laughter and smiles,” Slicer said. The team’s motto for the season “#igotyourback” was all the motivation they needed to learn to work together and develop into a force to be reckoned with on the track.

Horrors undergo rebrand, celebrate strength and teamwork in 2015 season

In a close season of challenging victories and hard fought losses, the Horrors have a lot of accomplishments to be proud of.

The 2015 Horrors. Photo by Joe Medolo

“This team is incredibly hard working and so much fun to be part of,” said co-captain MC SlamHer. “We place a great deal of importance on fitness and working our hardest at every practice and scrimmage.”

That effort often paid off this year, with strong wins against the Wicked Pissahs and the Nutcrackers earlier in the season. Even games lost had moments of greatness for the Horrors, who value the importance of their growth and teamwork above any of their scores.“I can’t pick a favorite game of the season,” SlamHer said. “All of our home team opponents bring a lot of intensity to the track and each one is a challenge for us. We can play our game, and then all enjoy the after party together. It’s pretty great.”

SlamHer, who is also the head of coaching for Boston Roller Derby, said that for her, the best part of the season revolves around the moments when the team is together celebrating its skaters, citing the end-of-season party where they all gather to celebrate their individual and collective goals of the season.

“I love my teammates,” she said. “I love how players can always push themselves to learn something new or get better at something they have been doing for years. I love how I have met and become friends with some of the greatest, most badass athletes. I love being part of teams that work so hard together to be successful at both the athletic and the business aspects of the sport.”

She said that for the Horrors, the team’s biggest goals were to just work hard, improve a lot and to have fun. She is confident that her team achieved all of those goals this year.

“We wanted to see a lot of growth from our new players, and we totally did,” she explained.

Horrors co-captain MC SlamHer lines up against Womanimal during their final game of the season. Photo by Joe Medolo.

That goal isn’t going to change for next season. The team is constantly striving to be the best skaters that they can be, and when they find ways to improve, that’s a victory their coach is proud of.

What will be changing for the team next year is the name. Originally named the Arkham Horrors, the team once played with a theme of early 20th century horror in the vein of H.P. Lovecraft. Lovecraft is a famed writer in the horror and sci-fi genre who drew inspiration from Massachusetts locations, but the team discovered after choosing this name that the author had racial worldviews that are directly in contrast with the values of the Horrors and of BRD. The team has moved to strike any reference to the writer from their team, and will be rebranding as a new kind of Horror for 2016.

The Wicked Pissahs and the Nutcrackers kicked off their last bout of the home team season on December 14th at Shriner’s Auditorium in Wilmington. The Pissahs took an early lead, with jammers like Stevie Nixher, Chicana, Sweet Enemy, Truant, and Rock scoring points off of the Nuts. The Pissahs’ blocking looked extra-sharp, and their jammers took full advantage of it. The Pissahs’ new recruit Sweet Enemy got through thanks to a gorgeous 3-wall helmed by Maully O’Fender. The Nutcrackers went hard against the Pissahs’ walls – Senora Slaughter rocketed across the track, bouncing off of blockers, and Wammy and Hard Times did excellent jobs of getting through the pack quickly on their initial passes.

The Nuts had a few streaks of getting lead jammer, but the Pissah defense was tough to beat. The jams came short and rough in the beginning and got longer as the game progressed, with both teams getting power jams. Dottie Danger performed some outstanding offense and helped get her jammer through on multiple occasions. She swung in seemingly out of nowhere and knocked blockers out of position. Still, the Pissahs held on to their lead, and the score reached 87-45 by halftime: not a high-scoring game, due to strong walls in the pack.

The dynamic packs showed how much both teams have been practicing: the bridging was tight and smartly done. The Nuts inched closer to the Pissahs’ score in the second half. Stevie Nixher made an apex jump to leave the Nuts’ blockers in the dust, but then Badonkey Kong swept in and knocked her about a mile out of bounds!

Womanimal heard the call and when she hit the track next, she repeatedly lapped the Pissah jammer. Then, when Hard Times got yet another power jam, the Nuts were looking like they could come from behind and win it! The score came to 170-159, the Pissahs up by eleven points, and in the final jam Dottie Danger called it off to thunderous cheers from the crowd. The Wicked Pissahs won but both teams went home proud.

In the night’s opening jam, the Nutcrackers put Senora Slaughter on the line up against the Cosmonaughties’ Elle Elle Cool Jam. The Cosmos got on the scoreboard first as Elle got lead jammer and Elle took full advantage of it, weaving in and out in a power jam!

The Nutcrackers challenged the Cosmonaughties in October’s Home Team bout. The Cosmos took an early lead as their jammer Elle Elle Cool Jam put up points, getting a power jam at the very first opportunity! Next up, Dottie Danger rocketed through the pack thanks to an effective screen by her teammate Smackerena, putting the Nuts on the board and bringing the score to 28-2 in favor of the Cosmonaughties.

Belle Air Bomber, returning to the track for the Nuts, scored two points along the inside line, and then her teammate Senora Slaughter had a neat ten point jam thanks to her blockers EmNasty, Mandoline Slicer, and Peaches ‘n CreamYa who had Cosmo jammer Celia Casket trapped in a Nutcracker Swirl. She-Bear retaliated for the Cosmos, slamming through the Nuts wall and somehow magically untying Dottie Danger’s skate! Dottie paused to tie her laces, passing the star to Nuts team Captain, Planitz Collide. She-B scored ten, then Elle scored four, and the Cosmos appeared to be taking control of the game. However the Nuts pulled answered back in the next jam, and Slaughter toe-stopped her way to ten points for the Nuts, and then Mandoline Slicer scored a few more too! Nutcrackers closing the gap, 42-27.

There was a diverse group of jammers playing tonight – both teams seemed to be trying out their entire roster. The back-and-forth of getting lead jammer continued, but the Cosmos asserted themselves on the track with powerful, agile jamming and their lead lengthened to 40-50 points where it stayed for much of the bout. The Nuts showed incredible stamina and ability to let hits roll right off of them, but ultimately weren’t able to fight off the Cosmo jammers who just ripped through the packs.

The Cosmos won 248-148, remaining undefeated this home team season. They definitely have their eyes on the Fez Cup this year.

Bout 2 – Wicked Pissahs vs. Arkham Horrors

The Wicked Pissahs played against last year’s Fez Cup winners, the Arkham Horrors. The Pissahs’ defense helmed by Amy Rock, Estrogeena Davis, and Neurotic Tendency dealt with the Horrors while Truant scored the first lead jammer status of the bout. Truant power jammed, scoring 26 points to give the Pissahs a hefty starting lead! Stevie Nixher and Flyin’ King were on the jammer line next, for the Pissahs and Horrors respectively – these two are teammates on Boston Massacre, do they know all each other’s moves? King had a hard time getting out of the pack as the Pissah wall kept recycling on itself, and Nixher scored four points.

Lisa Lionheart landed some huge hits to clear the way for Gun Show, who got another power jam for the Pissahs. Horrors blockers Trauma, Hayley Contagious, and America Ferocious got Guns next time though, bear-hugging her into submission while KC Wastem got out ahead. Mean hits by Hayley kept the Pissahs in line for a jam or two, the score was 51-4, Pissahs.

Nixher struggled to pass Wednesday Atoms and America Ferocious, so she passed the star to Rock. Jam after jam passed with no scoring, leaving the crowd to wonder who would break the streak. The Pissahs did, putting up small points on the board, but then King came in and got a big jam, bringing the score to 62-33 with the Pissahs in the lead.

We saw a couple huge jams in a row and both teams showed off their mental endurance, keeping gameplay tight. Rock broke apart a Horror pack but inadvertently let Rainbow Crash slide through behind her. KC Wastem got lead jammer again as a huge hit by Fuzzta Rhymes knocked the Pissahs out of commission for a few seconds. MC Slamher, co-captain of the Horrors, got lead jammer next and tightened the race further to 74-55, Pissahs. Rainbow Crash came up and scored eight points for the Horrors by landing a big hit and sliding through when the Pissahs’ wall got a bit wobbly. The Horrors continued to inch closer to the Pissahs’ score, Captain Hook dealing with blockers like Geena to let the Horror jammer through – the Pissah lead was only 6 points!! However, Rock stepped up and padded the lead, making two scoring passes to every one done by the Horrors.

The Pissahs made some effective plays, like when Geena caught Rainbow Crash in a series of painful-looking runbacks. Rock continued to scatter the Horrors’ ranks and Stevie Nixher seemed to leap right over them. The Pissahs’ lead got bigger and bigger as they kept getting lead jammer, and the score was 170-146 by the end of the 44th jam.

The Horrors put in Rainbow Crash with only 3 ½ minutes left in the bout, and the crowd was on edge wondering whether the Horrors would bring it back. Truant was held back by a very determined pack of blockers while Crash made pass after pass – Truant passed the star to Geena – Crash wasn’t stopping, she plowed through with the help of her blockers, suddenly the game was tied! It was 170-170 with two minutes left! Crash scored one more point and for the first time in the game they were winning, IN THE LAST JAM! Crash got sent to the box and Nixher started on the line for the Pissahs, who did it: they ended it. The Pissahs won 182-175!!

What a double header! On September 13th, the Horrors took on the Nutcrackers, and the Cosmonaughties went up against the Wicked Pissahs.

Bout 1: ARKHAM HORRORS vs. NUTCRACKERS

The Nutcrackers’ Señora Slaughter became the first lead jammer of the night, beating out Flyin’ King and scoring two points. Next up, the Horrors formed a tight wall to hold back Nuts jammer Haddie Collider, and Horrors co-captain MC Slamher got a power jam while Haddie went to the penalty box. Jam two was fast and exciting; both teams’ defense put jammers through the wringer and the score skyrocketed to 22-2, with the Arkham Horrors in the lead. Twenty-two points in one jam! Horrors defense continued to shine but couldn’t hold back Nuts jammer Womanimal from making several scoring passes. She sliced through the pack like a hot knife through butter, scoring 31 points!

The Horrors got a power jam when Dottie Danger went to the penalty box, and Flyin’ King swept through and scored eleven points. The Horrors showed off some very effective blocking strategies, like when America Ferocious, Captain Hook, and Haley Contagious formed a stable 3-woman wall with 4th blocker Rainbow Crash in the back taking the brunt of the jammer’s force.

We saw some accidental Horror-on-Horror action while Tiger was jamming, but that didn’t get in the way of either team racking up more points. There was lovely backwards blocking by Nutcracker Mandoline Slicer in the 8th jam, while Womanimal charged through.

In the 9th, Horror America Ferocious got lead jammer with Haddie hot on her tail, too close for America’s comfort apparently because she called it off quickly with the score still hovering around 53-46, Horrors.

KC Wastem got caught in a nasty hug by the Nuts Blockers, including EM Nasty and co-captain Smackarena, while Señora Slaughter raced ahead racking up crazy amounts of points, bringing the score up to 62-53, Nuts.

In jam 12, Horror Flyin’ King got a sweet power jam on a technicality which sent the Nutcracker jammer to the box, and the Horrors reclaimed the lead.

In the 14th, lead jammer Señora Slaughter came up against a hard wall, bounced right off of it, and kept going to score two points to the Horrors’ one.

The walls were strong, and we saw both jammers throwing themselves mightily against blockers, attempting to score. In beautiful offensive blocking, Dottie Danger bashed up the Horrors pack just in time for Señora Slaughter to slide through. Danger took the star pass and juked past Haley Contagious, who nearly knocked Dottie out on her next pass – another big jam, and the Nutcrackers claimed the lead: 93-85.

The Horrors defense was on point and the Nutcrackers’ jammers must have been frustrated by all the runbacks. However, Planitz Collide did her best to keep the Horrors busy while Dottie Danger power jammed her way through jam 21, racking up a ton of points (34 in one jam!) and extending the Nuts’ lead to 131-88.

HALFTIME

The Nuts got first blood in the second half, as blockers Reckless Rehab and Mandoline Slicer held back the Horrors’ jammer while Señora Slaughter skated ahead and scored.

Arkham Horror MC Slamher got a fifteen point power jam in the 27th, tightening the score to 137-107. Next we saw Nuts Captain Planitz Collide knock the Horrors jammer Rainbow Crash out with a wicked shoulder hit, but Crash recovered and got lead jammer. Womanimal did a great job holding Crash back until she was sent to the box for making contact too far ahead of the pack.

The Horrors continued to chip away at the Nutcrackers’ lead, and by the end of the 31st jam the score was Nuts 135, Horrors 124 – an 11 point game, folks.

Captain Hook and Tiger Eye held back Slaughter while King was stuck in runbacks, but Slaughter broke through and tacked on five points to the Nuts’ lead.

Trauma and Fuzzta Rhymes worked together to hold back Wammy in the 34th. In the 35th, King broke through very quickly and snuck in a few points before Slaughter caught up to her. With about fifteen minutes left in the game, the Nutcrackers were ahead by 12 points. Despite a hard-fought bout so far, neither team seemed tired and the jams were only getting more intense.

Both teams were getting more wary of the other team scoring points, and jams were being called off just as quickly as they begun. Despite awesome blocking by the Nuts, King sneaked down the inside line with Hayley Contagious knocking Nuts out of the way for her. One jam later the horrors reclaimed the lead! Helmed by lead jammer America Ferocious, they brought it up to 145-144!

In jam 40, once again we saw MC SlamHer on the jammer line next to Haddie Collider. This time the Nuts blockers steered Horrors all over the track and the Haddie got the lead back for them once more!

Badonkey Kong, Wild Boardom, Mandoline Slicer, and Planitz Collide formed a wall to hold Slamher back, but she powered through and scored twenty points, bringing the Horrors a healthy lead with only seven minutes to go.

Horrors Fuzzta Rhymes and Captain Hook kept Haddie Collider occupied while Crash raced around and scored nineteen points. After jam 45, the Horrors were up by forty points! 191-151.

Dottie, Reckless, and Hex formed a booty wall to keep Slamher back but once again she couldn’t be stopped from racking up three more points. Something both teams excelled at is regrouping after a jammer tears through their pack – the jammers really got a workout dealing with this tight defense.

The Nuts didn’t give up, and kept up with the Horrors, trading points for points in the last few jams of the night. As the clock wound down in the last jam, MC Slamher took lead jammer and casually called it off knowing her team had won.

The official final score for the Arkham Horrors vs. the Nutcrackers is 199-160. It was a hard-won game, and both teams showed off how much they’ve been practicing.

BOUT 2: COSMONAUGHTIES vs. WICKED PISSAHS

The Pissahs and the Cosmos both had a great night and got their hits in, but in the end the on-point Cosmonaughtie defense determined the fate of this bout.

The first Pissah pack featured Geena and Maully O’ffender on offense clearing the way for Gun Show, but Guns got sucked back into the pack and Hard Core pulled ahead, scoring the first 4 points of the game for the Cosmonaughties!

Truant of the Wicked Pissahs and Jackie KO of the Cosmos were neck and neck in the next jam, already we saw a difference between this and the earlier bout – these jammers aren’t letting jams go long, they’re calling them off to prevent the other team from scoring.

The teams traded a few points for the first jams, Elle winding through the pack of red Pissahs while Guns got caught in some nasty tumbles with the Cosmo blockers – the Pissah jammer made scoring passes, but because her jammer star was inside out, the Pissahs didn’t get any points.

Can anyone explain how Stevie Nixher manages to make jamming look so effortless, particularly when she’s up against an opposing jammer like Hard Core? Pissahs EvabynSlapt, Fierce, Rock, and Lionheart did their part to hold Hard Core back during a power jam but the Cosmos still scored thirteen points, bringing the score to 30-2, Cosmos.

Jackie KO and Truant seemed to be taking turns getting lead jammer. For a few jams there nobody was scoring, but then Wicked Pissah Rock got called up to jam and boy, did she answer the call, smashing neatly through the blue pack, shortening the Cosmos’ lead to 33-6. Guns and Elle have very different styles so it was cool to see them jamming against each other. Up next, Celia Casket landed some mean hits on jammer Stevie Nixher, but Nixher stayed in bounds.

Next up, Space Invader earned lead jammer by turning on a dime to get past Rock, then pulled off the most beautiful apex jump of all time (OF ALL TIME!). Unfortunately for the Cosmos, Space went to the box shortly after and Guns racked up many delicious points in her absence. Cosmo blockers Koopa Troopa, Dirty Water, and Shayna Nestor put up a fight, tying up Gun Show in time for Space to return to the track and earn back some of those power jam points. The two-minute jam was exhausting just to watch, and the score rose to 51-31, Cosmos.

Low to the ground as always, Elle got lead jammer beating against the Pissah wall formed by Neurotic and Estrogeena Davis – and then Davis got the star pass!

Does anybody else get shivers when the announcer roars,“Haaaard Cooore!”? With her help, the Cosmos put up massive points, bringing it to 73-35 at the end of the 15th jam.

Geena picked up lead jammer while Smack and Slim Hurt’n kept She-Bear away from the picnic basket. Cosmos Phearsome and Bad-Ass Mama held the Pissah jammer back though, and Space took the star pass just in time to do some crazy skate acrobatics and score a few points – the Pissahs scored 10 and the Cosmos scored 21, bringing the score to 94-45, Cosmos.

The 17th Elle got a power jam and skated around doing whatever her heart desired, well, except for when she got pushed out of bounds by Rock.

A lot happened in jam 19, but announcer Maya Mangleyou said it best, “Neurotic gave Jackie KO the business.” Up next, Truant took lead jammer and jumped the apex, nearly landing on a Cosmo.

The Pissahs were getting lead jammer plenty, but not racking up points like the Cosmos – would they be able to come back? A Pissah star pass to Rock, and a Cosmo star pass to Celia Casket, and Jam 22 upped the ante – the Pissahs scored 8 points.

Hardcore bashed her way through the Pissah lines just before halftime, and the score came to 132-70.

HALFTIME

Coming back from halftime, the jams came quick and low-scoring as neither team wanted to give up any points. Pissah jammer Truant pulled just ahead of Cosmo jammer Celia Casket, working to minimize the Cosmos’ lead.

In the next jam, Cosmo ElleElle Cool Jam and Pissah StevieNixher were so close, Stevie instigated some jammer-on-jammer action (everybody’s favorite kind of action), and the score rose to 139-79. Next, Rock and Gun Show snaked through the Cosmo pack and earned a few more. The Cosmo pack tightened up, though, and in jam 30 Truant came up against vicious defense while Elle scored against the Pissahs, despite excellent crowd control by Pissah blocker Maully and a knockout knock-out by Evabyn Slapt.

Not to be outdone, Nixher made an incredible apex jump, the fans went wild, and everything else on the track turned into a blur. What’s going on? Are we still playing roller derby? WHAT YEAR IS IT?? Oh right, it’s 2014 and the score is 149-90, Cosmos.

The Cosmos really worked the runbacks in this game, and the Pissahs’ jammer’s frustration was almost palpable. Hardcore outmaneuvered the Pissah Pack to rack up points in the 33rd jam, leaving the score 163-89.

Shayna Nestor and Artoo took turns trying to hit Pissah jammer Stevie Nixher out of bounds, but she kept bouncing back and gave Elle a run for her money in the 34th.

Next up, Hardcore carved her way across the track as lead jammer, and the score came up to 167-100.

Nixher took lead jammer once again, and she and Elle raced against each other with the pack moving unnaturally fast, for a second it looked like banked track derby. With just under fifteen minutes left in the game, the score was 175-113, Cosmonaughties.

Jam 38 started with the teams forming distinct packs between the jammer and pivot lines, and Rock rushed through the Cosmos to earn four sweet points for the Pissahs. This was an engaging game for the refs, who encountered lots of challenges and handled them with aplomb.

A star pass from Truant to Slapt, and then from Harcore to Shayna Nestor, quickly changed the face of jam 39. Slapt briefly power jammed, but it was the Cosmos who took the most points, moving the score up to 198-122.

The refs had all eyes on them during another official review – a good chance for us in the audience to make friends with our neighbors!

The Cosmonaughtie’s defense really shone in Jam 40, holding back the jammer while ShaynaNestor pulled ahead to widen the Cosmo’s lead.

Guns got a power jam in 42, racking up ten points, and up next Truant scored three more! Every time the Pissahs needed a big jam, Truant delivered.

The Cosmos answered back in jam 45 as Celia Casket charged ahead to gain the lead and a couple of points. With five minutes left in the game, the score was 212-146.

Next up we saw the slightly scary matchup of Hard Core vs. Rock, and it was anybody’s guess what would happen. Hard Core was hindered but ultimately not held back by the Pissah’s 4-wall, and she got lead jammer. The Cosmo blockers stayed very close together, while the Pissahs spread their forces across the track.

A few more jams, and a nice screen by Neurotic Tendency, where she used her body to lean on an opposing blocker and open up an alley for her jammer, brought the score to 239 to 150, Cosmos.

The last jam pitted Elle against Truant – Truant took lead and had a great jam. Final Score: 242 to 158, Cosmonaughties!

Ten points decided the outcome of the Boston Derby Dames home season opener, Wicked Pissahs vs. the Nutcrackers. Both teams smashed their way through this killer bout, but the Nutcrackers came out on top, with a final score of 227-217.

The first half was all about lengthy, high-scoring jams. The Nuts took a 10-1 lead right out of the gate with newcomer Womanimal lead jamming, with some exciting jammer-on-jammer action. Señora Slaughter, in the first of many power jams, extended the Nuts’ lead. The Pissahs struck back with Rock power jamming her way through the Nuts pack despite awesome blocking by Mandoline Slicer and Captain Crunchher, tightening the Nuts’ lead to 40-27. Womanimal once again (sensing a pattern?) took lead jammer, ducking and dodging as Pissah jammer Lisa Lionheart got stuck in a pack of Nuts largely due to fantastic blocking by Dottie Danger. 67-31, Nutcrackers.

The Pissahs tightened the race in Jam 5 with Stevie Nixher getting lead jammer and scoring a solid twenty points during a power jam, while Neurotic Tendency and Slapt did some incredible blocking. Big jam for the Pissahs!

Next up, Pissah jammer Rock came up against Nuts jammer Haddie Collider; it was a beautiful pairing as Haddie speds through to get lead jammer. Jam 7 brought more excitement as Slapt got out, Womanimal hot on her tail. 69-55, Nuts.

Pissah Evabyn Slapt got lead jammer skating backwards but immediately got knocked out as Nuts jammer Womanimal charged past her. Nutcracker Dottie Danger then cleared the way for Whammy by knocking out two Wicked Pissahs.

Nuts defense shined yet again as Planitz and Badonkey Kong held back the Pissahs jammer and Slaughter took lead jammer yet again. Geena received the star pass and slid in hot on Slaughter’s heels, leaving the score Nuts 100, Pissahs 60.

Nuts blocker (and co-captain) Dingo showed her mettle holding back the Pissahs as the Nuts extended their lead to 112-64. Pissah jammers continued to be held back by the likes of Badonkey Kong and Hex O. Skeleton, and Nut Haddie Collider struck points on a power jam. Tonight was a night of power jams!

A chorus of “Whose nuts? These nuts!!” accompanied the start of the seventeenth jam, as Slaughter and Slapt lined up behind the blockers, while Nuts captains Dingo and Planitz waited within the penalty box. Slapt slammed through the Nuts blockers, getting lead jammer, while Slaughter received a nasty knockdown by Stevie Nixher. 137 to 78, Nuts.

The Nuts definitely had the fans’ hearts, as “These nuts!” chants filled the arena, but Pissah fans, not to be outdone, retaliated with their own cheers. Slapt charged through Nuts defense RJ Cray and Reckless Rehab, but got knocked out by Planitz. Five points for the Pissahs.

It’s jam nineteen, Rock vs. Whammy, both held back by stubborn blockers, but Whammy broke through as Rock is sent flying off the track at the apex. Whammy looked to be trapped on her second pass behind a tough wall formed by Nixher, Neurotic, and Bloodbath, but snuck by spectacularly, skating on one foot.

In the last jam of the first half, Planitz Collide donned the jammer star and quickly knocked the Pissahs jammer Lisa Lionheart off the track, even before they approached the blockers, and Dingo, with some impressive blocking, carved a path for Planitz to weave through.

At halftime, the score is 164-89, Nutcrackers. During the break we saw some heartwarming bipartisanship, however, as Nutcracker Dottie Danger comes to the rescue of a Pissah with a broken toe stop.

The second half of this game was all about the action: Seasoned Pissah Estrogeena Davis scored three points while new Nut Womanimal got stuck and run back. In the next jam, Stevie Nixher easily slid ahead as blockers Neurotic Tendency and Slim Hurt’n carved a space for her. The jams come short and quick, but the Nuts continued to lead, 164-98.

Whammy breaks through a cool two-arm hold by Pissahs Rough Ann Tumble and Maully O’ffender, and in the next jam gets sent to the penally box for a back block while Nixher skates around racking up points—the score is Nuts 172, Pissahs 107.

In Jam 27 we see Guns vs. Slaughter, a quick jam before Guns calls it off after one scoring pass. The Pissahs show off in Jam 28, with Geena powering through Nuts defensive powerhouses Planitz and Mandoline Slicer, while Pissah blocker Rock knocks the Nuts’s jammer on her butt with a sweet hit.

The Pissahs are still fighting, eating away at the Nuts’s lead. Pissahs Stevie Nixher and Gun Show both get lead jammer status one after another with Nuts hot on their tails. At the end of Jam 32, the score is 186-133, Nuts.

Jam 33 is quick, but one for the ages: Womanimal vs. Gun Show. Guns cuts in front once again, but not for lack of incredible athleticism by Womanimal. Watching these women skate will blow your mind.

Next we see some jammer-on-jammer action as Estrogeena Davis lands a hit on Haddie Collider, who slides gracefully into a mohawk to stay in bounds. An official review lands Haddie Collider in the box at the beginning of the next jam, with Stevie Nixher charging up against Planitz, Crunch, and Dottie Danger. Nixer hands a mean hit on Danger, charging through in a power jam, a jam full of big falls and nasty hits.

Haddie takes a shoulder to the head and passes the star from Haddie to Planitz, who gets sent to the box for a track cut immediately, leaving Nixher to have her second power jam in the last two minutes. The score is closed up to 191-173, what!?!

This game just got a lot closer. Guns goes hard up against the defensive trio of RJ Cray, Slicer, and Mystic R.I.P. Her, while Planitz charges out of the box and makes it through the Pissah defense, but not before the Pissahs get eight more points.

Once again we see Whammy come up against Geena and it’s so close, but Geena comes out ahead by a hair–the two are neck and neck when Geena calls it off. Incredible blocking by Truant of the Wicked Pissahs.

Nuts jammer Slaughter breaks though a tough defensive Pissah knot, as Pissah jammer Stevie Nixher gets knocked out and into the center, almost colliding with officials. Neurotic Tendency and Planitz Collide, on opposing teams, are both showing that they’re powerhouses of coordinated defensive blocking. The score is 197 to 181, Nuts.

This game has entered a lightning round of jams, barely too fast to type. It’s Womanimal against Gun Show, who’s stuck behind a seemingly endless mass of Nuts blockers, including the ferocious EmNasty. The Nuts score six points.

Jam 41 finds Geena up against Dottie Danger, both knocked out and forced into lengthy runbacks even before lead jammer is called – but it’s Geena for the Pissahs, leaping forward into lead jammer status with Dottie hard on her heels. More second half jams fly by, the lead jammers are NOT letting the jams last, they’re calling them strategically to prevent the opposing team from scoring.

In Jam 44, Dottie Danger beautifully sneaks down the inside line to get a scoring pass before calling it off, it’s joyous to watch Dottie celebrate after a great jam. The score is 210-185, Nuts. But don’t get too comfortable, Nutcrackers, next we see Gun Show get a power jam and rack up fourteen points before she’s taken down by Mandoline Slicer. The Nutcrackers’s lead is shortened to twelve points, with only minutes left!

Dottie Danger solidifies the Nuts’ lead to 219-199 going into the last jam of the night. It’s Nutcracker Slaughter vs. Wicked Pissah Stevie Nixher, both skating powerfully tonight. Slaughter gets trapped behind blockers Salty and Rough Ann Tumble as Nixher charges into lead jammer. Pissah defense is shining as Nixher races around with Slaughter stuck in place and forced into runbacks. Rock is knocking Nuts every which way and Nixher skates on, scoring eighteen points in one jam. The game is over. Nutcrackers 227, Pissahs 217. Wow. A ten point game! Bet you didn’t see that one coming.

Womanimal and Badonkey Kong were crowned most valuable jammer and blocker for the Nutcrackers, respectively. The Wicked Pissahs named jammer Stevie Nixher and blocker Evabyn Slapt as their MVPs.

The second Boston Derby Dames bout of the 2014 home team season pits the Arkham Horrors agains the Cosmonaughties!Last time these two teams faced each other was at last year’s championships, which the Horrors won by ONE POINT!

Right out of the gate, the Cosmos took a 14 point lead and both teams fully stocked the penalty box.In jam 3 both walls of blockers went down in a dog pile and Rainbow Crash arose and rushed ahead, claiming four points for the Horrors before she called it off.The Cosmos got the points back in the next jam, when Space Invader blocked skating forwards and backwards paving the way for Elle Elle Cool Jam to get through and become lead jammer.We saw a few recurring jammer-on-jammer match ups in this bout, with Arkham Horror Flyin’ King repeatedly facing off against Cosmonaughtie HardCore.This time, HardCore charged through and secured an early lead for the Cosmos, 22-4.

Horrors Trauma and Captain Hook made a great blocking pair, allowing MC SlamHer to get lead jammer and retaliate with a few points.In jam 7, Flyin’ King got an explosive start and was ahead of the pack before anybody even noticed she was there.Jam 8 saw another dog pile where the entire pack fell down before either jammer got out, we saw a lot of floor work in this game.HardCore called it off while skating backwards, and the score was 28-10, Cosmos.

Jamming next was Jackie KO for the Cosmos and KC Wastem for the Horrors – Jackie got stuck behind the increasingly effective defensive tornado of America Ferocious, Hook, Hayley Contagious, and Rainbow Crash.KC took lead jammer and called it off after both team got their digs in, with the score rising to 28-15.

Cosmo newbie Nora Morse got lead jammer, and next we saw Flyin’ King take lead jammer with a beautiful apex jump.The Cosmos’ defense is on point tonight, as we saw when Space Invader, Jackie KO, and Frenchie von Knuckles teamed up to hold back the jammer.

♫ I woke up like this ♫

In jam 16, Elle got out way ahead and celebrated with an apex jump! So many apex jumps. Much wow. She called it off after a spectacular dive, leaving the score 48-24. The Cosmos seems to hit a hot streak, taking lead jammer one after another, and blockers like Phearsome, Bad Ass Mama, Dirty Water, and Tiny Dancer helped make it happen. I love watching a sport where every so often a tumble occurs and there are athletes all over the floor.

As the Horrors and the Cosmos traded points, we saw King out in front shouldering her way through the pack, Elle crouched behind her like a tiger stalking its prey.When Hardcore is on the jammer line she usually starts sideways and is gone before you even blink, but in jam 20 KC Wastem beat her through.Jam 21 was the first power jam of the night (Wooo!) and MC Slamher took advantage, bringing the Horrors 10 points closer to catching up to the Cosmos.KC Wastem got lead and looked like she was going to do some damage in jam 23, but a vicious runback by Shayna Nestor kept her off the track.It’s brutal to watch the jammer get out of the pack only to get sucked back in again.

The last two jams before halftime were intense, we saw aggressive blocker-on-blocker action from both sides, the pack was so dynamic Elle and America both barely stayed on their feet as they flew through time after time.The Horrors did a great job staying together as a unit in the next one, while the Cosmos drew themselves into a line to extend their pack.The first half ended at 108-50, Cosmonaughties.

Halftime, you know what that means!POPCORN! And let’s take a second to appreciate our lovely officials, because we couldn’t play derby without them.

They’re bringing stripes back.

Back to the action! Fuzzta Rhymes and Captain Hook worked together to hold HardCore back while MC Slamher scored some points, and then we saw Tiny Dancer land a gorgeous hit on King, who stayed in bound by the grace of her toe stops.The Horrors got a few power jams, but scoring stayed low until jam 35: Space Invader vs. Rainbow Crash on the jammer line – Space bounded through but got caught in a nasty pile-up on her first scoring pass and got sent to the penalty box, leaving Crash to rack up 16 points for the Horrors in a POWER JAM!When Space was freed from the box she quickly got 12 points back, and when the dust settled the score was 122-83.

There was one exciting jam after another.King and Hardcore practically touching as they raced around the track, and Hayley Contagious handled a couple Cosmo blockers all on her own.A scary moment happened in jam 37 when Della Kinetic of the Horrors went down with an ankle injury, and Badonkey Kong at the mic reminded us that in derby the saying is, “It’s not if you get hurt, but when.”Della appeared to be okay as she was helped off the track.

Cosmo blocking was looking sharp in jam 38 as Nestor and Space trapped the jammer.The Cosmos were on a lead jammer roll, broken in jam 40 when Elle made it past the purple pack just behind KC Wastem.In jam 41 we saw something interesting, the Horrors blockers chose to start farther up at the pivot line, segregating the teams into two distinct packs.More Cosmos get lead jammer, including Nora Morse, HardCore, and Elle Elle Cool Jam, but then Flyin’ King got a power jam and absolutely crushed it, earning 20 points for the Horrors, bringing it to 143-109.

Rainbow Crash vs. Hard ore is an intimidating matchup, the Cosmo took lead jammer while Space caught Rainbow in a massive runback.The next two jammers, Elle and King, showed off agility and beautiful footwork.Next we saw MC Slamher up against Nora Morse, and SlamHer sliced through the pack and scored nine points.

The lead got smaller as the Cosmos and Horrors duked it out with only a few jams to go – at one point, the Cosmos were only up by 23 points – but Cosmo defense got tighter as the end drew near, and at the end of the night the official score read 176-151.

There was some incredible footwork tonight.HardCore mohawked down the line more times than anybody could count, and at one point after King received a strong hip hit and managed to stay in-bounds, I heard someone in the crowd shout, “She’s got magic feet!”That’s derby for you.