Thursday, 5 November 2009

We started with a laugh so let’s finish with one

General Cosgrove of the Australian Army was interviewed on the radio recently concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to admit this is one of the best comeback lines of all time.

The female interviewer and General Cosgrove were discussing the Army’s sponsorship of a visit by a Boy Scout Troop to the Army's military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:!
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why. They'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma’am… you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one… are you?

The broadcast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned the interview was over.

I was lucky enough to meet him about 8 years ago when I was in High School (in Brisbane) and he's pretty cool, so it does sound like something he'd say! When I was talking to him his wife walked past and he leaned back to pinch her on the bum...

I take full blame TM,I did think it could possibly be fake, and most probably was, and wondered about looking up snopes, but decided it was so funny that I would just send it out to the world, after all we all need a laugh, don't we.

So this is funny. Man who presumably thinks that guns don't kill people, people kill people, is quizzed re. providing boys with guns. Female interviewer's point remains unanswered, instead she's informed she's anatomically equipped to be a prostitute, should she so choose. Virgin, mother, whore - no thanks, I'll join the ranks of the blacks & gays who just can't take a joke.

The joke was funny, but more than that, the frivolity happened on the day you stood up for the first time for months ETM. I am so glad you are feeling happy and safe at last.Eventually a man gets too old to have a bucket and spade on his arm . . . I teach in a boys’ secondary school. You have to try a lot harder to be offensive from where I stand.Adulthood tend to be thin on the ground.

Flexitarianism is a semi-vegetarian diet focusing on vegetarian food with occasional meat consumption. A self-described flexitarian seeks to decrease meat consumption without eliminating it entirely from his or her diet. There are no guidelines for how much or how little meat one must eat before being classified a flexitarian.

Flexitarian is distinguished from polpescetarian, i.e., one who eats only chicken and fish, but does so exclusively. [1]In 2003, the American Dialect Society voted flexitarian as the year's most useful word and defined it as "a vegetarian who occasionally eats meat and lacks a sense of humour*".[2]

One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," said the game warden as he quickly left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Notes from a hospital bed

Fractured freelance journalist now released from traction and walking again. Recuperating at home with good food and fine friends. Growing increasingly angry about the scandal of nutritional neglect in our hospitals.