Nasty NASA Bans Plucky Pat From Mars Mission

It's a sad day today for Pat Spacecadet from Edinburgh, as he is finally facing reality and giving up on his dream of being the first man to set foot on Mars.

A tearful Pat said:

"Ever since I was a wee boy I've wanted to travel throughout the galaxy and in particular I always harboured the dream that, one day, I'd be the first man to set foot on Mars. But sadly it's now not to be"

"Pat's just a swell guy and a real trooper too but at his age the G forces involved in space travel would probably shatter every bone in his body.

He says that he's still up to it but quite frankly the shot's not on the board. It would kill him"

We put NASA's view to Mr Spacecadet and he told us:

"I think they are talking rubbish. Why only last week I went down to the shops, bought something for my dinner and didn't come to a single bit of harm. If you ask me this ruling is all PC and Health and Safety gone bonkers!"

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