“He licked, then sucked, then nibbled then bit them wanting to devour them in every way possible while she offered them willingly to him as sensual morsels to be consumed. She did not mind, in fact it was exactly what she wanted and bit onto the leather, screaming into the roll of hide, eyes wide and animal.”

I’m not going to make any assertions as to whether Madonna was a virgin when she made this song. Though her first time when it comes to hit songs is one that will always stick in my head. In the video she does look a bit more “Shiny and new” than in more recent pictures of her in the British press.

I’ve come down with a stinking cold these past couple of days which has stolen my voice and given me a sore throat amongst other symptoms I’m sure you’re familiar with.

Because I was feeling so shitty today Alex kindly asked me if rather than attempting to cook dinner if I would like to pay a visit to our favourite country pub for a meal.

I didn’t need asking twice and I quickly changed and we were off before he changed his mind lol. After a nice 20 minute drive we were there. The car park was almost empty save a couple of other cars which would mean we could probably sit at our favourite window table.

We both walked in and up to the bar to place our orders and were greeted by the busty blonde who works there. And today what a site she was, because it was hot she was wearing even less than she normally wears. ;0

She was wearing a rather deep scooped top which showed off her cleavage to its best and when I looked over the bar she was in a skirt which could best be described as just below minge base. Lol

I tried not to let her catch me looking at her ample bossom as she pulled Alex a pint but couldn’t help myself. She certainly wouldn’t have a problem raising twins if you know what I mean. Just one slight problem she looks to be about half my age.

I have just read an article relating to Enrique Inglesias and the size of his manhood which has left me wondering if he is courting the press or being directly honest.

I’ll make no secret of the fact that I fancy the pants off him, which strangely enough usually means that they turn out to be gay. Lol In the recent past I have admitted to having a thing for Ricky Martin who came out and John Barrowman…snap!

Enrique allegedly admitted whilst performing on stage at the Rod Laver Arena in Melbourne, Australia that he has the smallest penis in the world.

Now something tells me that this can’t be. Anyone from Aus out there who can confirm or deny this story?

Glasses fetish is quite common, it’s definitely real because there’s a Japanese name for it Meganekko. Then again there’s a Japanese word for pretty much any fetish you can think of so maybe that’s not such a certain proof of its existence.

Like all fetishes the compulsions around it can drive people to do all sorts of things, including a guy who I read about who stole dozens of pairs of glasses at gunpoint to satisfy his cravings. While his crimes don’t appear to have a sexual element I can’t help wondering if he hasn’t got any glasses porn tucked away somewhere. It does seem a strange compulsion to have otherwise. Or maybe he had a fixation on someone, maybe a girlfriend or a movie star even who wears glasses?

We all have our little obsessions that to others must seem incredibly strange but committing armed robberies for glasses frames is at least odd measured against most people’s view of vaguely normal behaviour.

If you don’t like toilet humour then I suggest you scroll down and read the previous post. Lol

Most of us at some time in our life have suffered the discomfort of constipation be it through bad diet or simply dietary change, the most common of which is when we go on holiday to a foreign country and eat food uncommon to our guts.

Usually we seek help from the pharmacy in overcoming this problem and end up taking Senokot or other well known laxatives. Note: there are other preparations on the market. Lol

I’ve just read a story about a Chinese man using a milk bottle (don’t ask the mind boggles) to relieve him of his blockage. The xray clearly shows the bottle in situ.

Now you would have to be either desperate or stupid to try this. I wonder which one he was.

As if we needed an excuse to partake in a glass of good red wine, we now have an excellent reason. A study has been carried out on 800 women between the age of 18 and 50 by doctors at the University of Florence, examining the effect of red wine consumption on their sexual function.

An interesting study…

Women who drank more than two glasses per day were excluded from the study as not to skew the results by being inebriated. Lol

All of the participants were said to be in good sexual health and divided up in to three groups, those who frequently consumed one or two glasses, those who consumed less than a glass per day of wine or alcohol and ones who drank nothing.

Can you believe that there is a small Austrian village in the municipality of Tarsdorf. It is situated 21 miles north of Salzburgh if you are thinking of looking it up.

I suppose it translates as something completely different to our version of the name. Lol In fact it probably is pronounced differently too.

Tourists are making life for the citizens there a misery by posing in suggestive ways by the sign which has prompted evasive action. Even resorting to pinching the signs on a regular basis. They have now installed CCTV cameras to monitor the lude and rude behaviour.

Despite the obvious problems the villagers voted to stick with the town’s name back in 2004 despite having to constantly replace road signs and look the other way.

I was over on Adult Blog Hub today and spotted a post which took me back to my holiday in June. IT was a post about a summer trip and a raunchy pool encounter.

It had been my intention to get down to a little bit of pool sex with Alex while we were over in Tuscany I even packed some silicone lube for the trip. Sadly it was not to be, although we had a pool to ourselves the grounds were shared by the owner and we really couldn’t run the risk of getting caught with our pants down.

We simply bit our lips and got down to doing the do in every room and on every piece of furniture in the house instead. Lol

Lucky for Sex Fairy and Whitman over at “The Naughty Spot” they were able to get down and dirty without a care. Go over and check out what they got up to here “Sexy Summer Camp”.

We have a very large wide front door, which is nice. It has a very large lintel above it between two pillars.

I noticed after last winter that cracks were appearing underneath it and recently a large section of it was cracking away. So today when I was watering the urns in which we grow flowers outside the front door I though I’d get the step ladders and see if any of it was loose.

It was! and a large lump of concrete whizzed past my left ear before shattering on the steps.

Before we start this is not in the sexual sense. Scroll down for the smutty stuff. 😉

I watched a very interesting program a few weeks ago about individuals afflicted with Tourettes. It really did give an insight in to the daily dilemmas and issues faced by sufferers who are totally aware of their illness and uncontrollable outbursts.

It followed over a number of years two key people, a boy and a young man and it left me with so much empathy for them. These two guys had a level of acceptance for their condition which was made liveable by the fact that they saw the Tourettes side of their character as a different being.

If you ever get the chance to watch this programme do so it is very educational, you will never look at a sufferer in the same way again. And that was achieved by the brilliant coverage and scripting.

Now on a lighter note and I think this would also be appreciated by fellow suffers I direct your attention to the book in the top left corner. I have no idea what the book is about, it just made me smile.

American Psycho was a film that we didn’t watch for a long time. The reason was simple. It looked a bit naff from the cover design and it had the word psycho in the title.

That might sound a bit odd but we don’t like sensationalist crap and quite frankly appending the word psycho to something smacked of just that – sensationalism. However we’re completely open to suggestion and having mentioned it to a movie buff friend of mine (I think we were talking about the Dark Knight) he said it was worth a watch …

We’re now huge fans of the film. It’s not perfect but it’s really entertaining and a great performance by Bale.

Anyhoo, if you haven’t seen American Psycho the video above might be a bit lost on you. If you have you’ll spot every reference and appreciate the clever weaving of the music video and the plot of the film. Just without the gory bits. It’s a great Homage and Suze likes the look of Miles Fisher the singer too.

As Suze’s interest had been aroused by Mr Fisher I looked him up and it turns out he’s quite famous … just not appeared in stuff we’ve watched LOL. I suspect we’ll be watching a lot of new TV shortly. Eh Suze?

We saw a few anal movies back in the early days of DVDs and to be honest they weren’t very impressive. That’s all they were, scenes of anal sex strung together with no imagination.

Even if you’re a big anal sex fan that has to be boring.

No what you want is a bit of imagination. Whatever your sexual preferences are and just ramming a DVD full (no pun intended) of sex scenes where the only goal is to get the cock in hole as soon as possible with possibly a bit of ATM action to finish is not big and it’s not clever.

As you’ll all know we’re huge fans of Tanya Hyde, so whenever a TH DVD drops through the door for review we are eager to see what delights the horny Ms Hyde has dreamt up.

I don’t think I have ever thought of the phrases “fuck me” and “hurt me” as anything other than being mutually exclusive. You see I like a bit of a spank but I don’t like pain. For me discomfort is unpleasant and not at all arousing, pleasure and pain being just a little separate. 😉

But one night as I pointed my ass skyward, leaning in on my elbows, head buried in to the pillow I changed my religion briefly. He was so big and so hard that he was actually bottoming out on my cervix and causing me some discomfort.

Don’t panic! I wasn’t complaining. Don’t ask me why. But as he thrust deep inside me I was in seventh heaven. My g-spot was being massaged at the same time as my cevix was being pounded and his girth was stretching me. Fuck knows why he was so big but I wasn’t about to lodge a complaint. Far from it.

I was laughing, crying, enjoying every moment of this pleasure/pain as Alex fucked me. I squirted and felt the hot liquid ooze from within me, down my thighs, making me wet, cooling as it went. The relentless grinding continued and I was so fucking wet!

He pushed hard and deep again and I found my head almost making contact with the bedhead. Then I heard him moan like an injured animal as he pushed, trembled and came inside me. Our juices mingled together as he injected his warm sperm deep inside me.

I brushed my long hair behind my ears and rolled over on to my back as he collapsed in to the mattress. Boy, did I feel like I had been fucked!

Last week I was reading all over the Internet about a German guy who had made a spoof ad featuring Sprite. Max Isaacson the German creator of the ads said that they were originally loaded on YouTube and taken down despite the fact he allegedly made a claim that they were made on spec and not commissioned.

I spent Friday afternoon looking for a copy of the video so I could see for myself what all the furore was about. Despite it being covered in most of the press there were no links to the actual video to be found.

But persistence pays off and I have managed to find a copy of the video so that you can check it out for yourselves.

I received my strap-on and harness the other day. The postman knocked me up to give it to me. Lol That sounds naughtier than it was, he was early and I was still in bed when he delivered it. He was so eager to give it to me (there I go again lol) that he tried to push it through my flap (OMG! I’m on a roll) cat flap that is.

As he pushed against the catch on the flap I opened the door to see him squatting down with my package in hand. It was quite a humorous moment as I thought about exactly what was in there and the fact that he didn’t have a clue. 🙂

After signing for the package a I ran upstairs, grabbed some scissors to break in to the box and opened it to reveal the most wonderful purple soft leather harness and matching ridged dildo with a sweet heart shaped base.

My heart skipped a beat as I thought about taking Alex from behind. Spanking his ass cheeks until they glow as I penetrate him.