Supreme Court Marshal Kim Ghilardi recently left the judicial branch to join the Minnesota County Attorneys Association. On occasion during her 11-year tenure, she would jot down the courtroom remarks of attorneys waiting for oral argument. She’s shared a few with me. You’ll quickly discern the common theme.

“I’m nervous as hell.”

“No water for me; I’ll just spill it.”

“Can I have extra water? Dry mouth.”

“So where’s the trap door?”

“Can I just run out screaming right now?”

“What is the Court’s procedure when a lawyer faints at the podium?”

“Great, more time to worry.”(The attorney was advised that his case was second on the calendar.)

“This will be the world’s shortest argument.”(The attorney had to be cut off by the Chief Justice.)

“Do you have a barf bag?”

In answer to the last question: bring your own. See you in Courtroom 300!