"When my brother Harrold asked me to be the best man at his wedding, I was like, uh oh, of course man. Cuz you've always been there for me, like when I was in rehab, and uh, like the time I couldn't find my car. Cause Harrold ya know, he's always been the dependable one, and I've always been the screwed up one. Right, dad? Why can't you be more like your brother? Harrold would never beat up his landlord. ...But uh, newsflash pop, Harrold ain't so perfect. Remember that time in Puero Rico when we picked up those two uh, well I guess they were prostitutes but I don't remember paying."
"Ok, how about that?"
"How about that. What? Terrific, uh. I'm a person too pop, Goddamnit. I'm a person too!"
"You're a moron!"
"Ok, the best man everybody."
"The best man. The better man!"