2018 Goals.

I’m not really a big resolution maker but I still think it’s important to set goals every year! Tomorrow I am going to be sharing my “year in review” post (see last year’s post here!) which will have more goals for the blog… but today I wanted to talk a little more about my personal goals for this year.

I went into the holiday break feeling pretty exhausted. I look at the time between Christmas and New Years as a time to unwind and unplug – posting less to the blog, Instagram, etc. There were several days where I slept ten, twelve hours… a few days I even slept until noon! My biggest takeaway from 2017 is that I need to take better care of myself and dedicate more energy to both my personal life and my physical/mental health; so that realization is really what’s dictating these goals!

One // Get to Yoga 3x a Week. We talked about this one more in this post, but whenever I feel my best (both on the inside and the outside), it’s because I’m getting to yoga regularly. I don’t know quite what it is but my body responds extremely well to a good Vinyasa or Power Yoga class. Like, not the sort of yoga that is easy and a good stretch… but fast, hard yoga. I get a good sweat, I get a good stretch, and oftentimes holding the poses is SO hard that I can’t actually think about anything but breathing so I shut my brain off (something I struggle with!)

Two // Accept Responsibility. I am reading Mark Manson’s book and you guys, it’s life changing. I am only about 60% of the way through but I cannot recommend it enough. There is so much good information and advice there. One of the things he talks about is how we are responsible for our feelings and how we deal with situations. So say someone hurts you or offends you – yes, that is their fault for doing that… but how you deal that is your responsibility. This is such a simple statement but it’s so true. He goes through so many examples in the book (i.e. a breakup – yes, his cheating ex was to blame, but how he handled it and moved on was his responsibility). I am not doing his words proper justice but highly recommend the book.

Three // Dating.Since we are accepting responsibility for our situations, here’s the thing. I want to be in a relationship but I don’t actually want to do the work to get there. Simply put, I work a lot and have a very robust social life. When I invest my time and energy in those two things, I always have a positive result. Dating is a huge mixed bag. It’s frustrating as you literally have no control, and also, bad dates are the worst! I read Matthew Hussey’s book earlier this summer and have found a lot of his advice to be life changing. (I know I said that about Mark’s book, and I’m not even a big self-help book reader but if you do one thing today, add both of these books to your cart.) After reading it, I definitely understand both myself and the male brain a lot better. I’ve also realized that I have a problem with dating people who are really really fun but probably aren’t the best long term matches. I need to invest more time/energy in my dating life, and I also need to really think about whether each person I go out with is actually good for me. It’s cliche, but I realized this year that what I really want is to date somebody who challenges me and makes me a better person.

Four // Drink Less. Oy. I really overdid it over the holidays and New Year’s Eve. It may sound weird but I am truly sooo happy to be taking a month off from drinking. Wine (not a crazy amount of it) has always been central to my routine – unwinding after a bad day, having a glass or three with girlfriends, splitting a bottle on a date. It isn’t a bad thing but in all honesty, I am 36 now, and if I have more than one glass of wine I feel it the next day. I want to do less of the things that make me feel bad and more of the things that make me feel good. I’d also like to get up earlier and drinking doesn’t help with that.

Five // Meditate Daily. I am not going to say tooooo much of this one as it’s a part of next week’s wellness challenge BUT I have both the Headspace and Calm apps on my phone and really like them both. I go back and forth between which one is my favorite. I like how Calm has all these other things (music, bedtime stories, etc) but I like Andy’s voice on Headspace better.

Six // See More Movies.I absolutely love movies but always end up watching TV because it feels like a lower commitment (which is silly bc I always end up watching at least 3 or 4 episodes, ha!) More movies, less TV. Or maybe more of both since I will be staying in and drinking less… 😉

Seven // Take an Oil Painting Class.I have been meaning to do this and keep forgetting. Writing it down and planning to research classes this week!

Comments

1) Headspace in the morning each day
2) Foam roll/stretch daily
3) Keep up with blog posts for the podcast (this has not been my strong suit)
4) 4 speaking engagements (I’m already scheduled for 2!)
5) Leave my apartment and get out /do things (I have a habit of being a recluse on weekends when we don’t have a game and it’s clearly not the best way to go if I ever want to meet someone)

I have a lot of health & wellness goals too. Get into a workout routine, start doing yoga again, get back into eating healthy after the holidays, drink more water, be on top of doctor’s appointments. It sounds like a lot but just generally better habits!

I have friend goals vs. dating ones. We moved to our current house when my daughter was 1 & then had my son who will be 2 tomorrow. So many of my friends also moved further out into the ‘burbs, so getting together is more difficult. I realized that I need to make some new friends within the neighborhood for playdates with the kids & meeting new couple friends, too. I started on it last year & actually created a book club, so that’s a big step for this introvert! But it is hard to invest time in new people, so that’s a big part of this year for me.

Love your goals, Grace! My personal goals for 2018 include being a better friend (making more of an effort to do things instead of being a hermit), taking better care of my skin and my body, and reading more. Can’t wait to hear your blog goals!

Hey! I commented on your last post about being single (the one that prompted the community which I am so excited to be a part of) but I had to comment again because your first 5 sentences literally NAILED my frustrations with dating. Anything else in my life when I put the effort in I see the results I want- even if I’m not enjoying the process. Take the gym (which is another thing I have semi abandoned, hello wellness challenge)- yes there are days where I don’t want to go or don’t have a great workout but it I stick with it consistently I will see results even if I hate every minute of it. When i wanted a new job, i knew if i put the time and energy in to networking, applying for jobs, etc, i would find one and i did. With dating, there’s just no guarantees and that’s what makes it so hard for me- I could go on one amazing date and meet my future husband or 15 bad dates in a row which gets me no closer to my goal. Anyways just had to comment because you completely nailed my feelings on this and I’m also planning on ordering both books you suggested!

Hi – this is more of a question along with a little venting on how frustrating dating is. But how do you find dates? Is it all on line dating? Set ups? Because I looooathe online dating, but I can’t seem to meet any guys in real life. I too am in the 35+ category and I have no idea how to improve this area of my life. Every guy i meet out in the real world is either taken or I’m just not into. But 9 times out of 10 – they are engaged, married or involved with someone else. How are you meeting people? Have my fingers crossed you are going to say something other than “online dating” because I DREAD having to go back on there.

You aren’t going to like my answer – I mostly have met people via online dating! I’m sorry. :-/. I’m only on one app and it only gives me a couple people to look at every day so I don’t find it to be too intimidating. The apps are annoying but I’ve actually met some pretty great people on them! Good luck!!!

These are such great goals for the year. I am trying to get back into my fitness routine I feel off a little bit around the holidays. I am like you and feel so much better when I have a constant workout routine. I am also just trying to find joy in every situation and not always longing for the future, but be present

One of my goals, like one of your posts a few months ago, is to unplug more. I spend a good ampunt of my valuable time on social media and want to accomplish more this year. ( professional goals not required but just a ” I did it” for me) Thanks ,Grace, for making us feel like we’re not alone in the gauntlet.

If you ever want a yoga buddy, text moi! I have a studio in my hood that recently opened that I absolutely LOVE! It’s hot yoga but not bikram so it just is this amazing, cleansing sweaty class. Plus free mats + towels and cool eucalyptus towels following class!

Love your goals and definitely plan on joining you in your wellness challenge. My goals are working out more. Once or twice a month doing a baking challenge. Being better about eating more vegetables. And trying something like embroidery or knitting. My friends and I started a “movie club” a couple of winters ago. We coordinate our work schedules and go see a matinee and go for a light dinner afterwards. We usually end up talking forever and have tons of fun. Inevitably we choose a tear inducing movie.