By Rick Welling, USAREC, Doctrine DivisionJuly 14, 2015Anyone who’s been in recruiting for any length of time realizes some forms of rejection are inherent in the recruiting process. Obviouslynot everyone will join.When a person does not join, two types of recruiters emerge. The recruiter who knows that despite doing his or her best, factors beyond his or her control created an obstacle to engendering the commitment. The other type of recruiter takes rejection personally, experiencing residual low self-esteem and self-doubt about the future orthe next interview opportunity. Such self-doubt could cause this recruiter to attempt to dominate and/or controlthe next prospect. Exerting control will greatly inhibit the possibility of convincing the next person to commit, causing unspoken customer resentment or apathy.Self-doubt is the chief inhibiting force to success I’ve seen during my close to 30 years working as a recruiter and with recruiters. How does this self-defeating mechanism originate? According to experts, it begins in early childhood. Many parents see their children as extensions of themselves. If they experience self-doubt as parents or in their overall personas, they often impose their self-doubt on their children through domination to compensate for perceptions of weakness. They may even regard their children as a threat. A child's strengths can be a powerful spotlight on what the parents may have failed to accomplish as either a child or adult. Any lack of personal strength or the presence of self-doubt in a parent may greatly reduce recognition of a child's own strong abilities. It is quite difficult for a child to succeed or realize their potential in this environment. Self-doubt may not only be affecting you, but your prospects as well. Success may even bring guilt for the child, because it may create a perception of separation from who and what the parent is. Laid with a foundation of self-doubt, the child’s success may not be acknowledged.On the other hand, the child's success may bring out that classic remark, "You should have done better. Why didn't you get an A?" Ingrained with self-doubt, any success the child achieves can appear empty. In this powerful negative dimension an overall question will surely arise - "If I'm successful, who will recognize or appreciate it?" This plants the seed of self-doubt, which can grow into a life-long pattern. Self-doubt plays to apathy, which is, supposedly, the number one reason for Future Soldier losses. Recruiters are selected by the Department of the Army or they volunteer. If they like it, they become a professional recruiter, 79R. While the inherent challenges associated with recruiting may be one reason many Soldiers elect to become professional recruiters, another reason may be the daily opportunity to prove oneself, perhaps to overcome self-doubt. This quest for validation will present with difficult questions such as, “Can I really do this work successfully?” “Can I perpetuate any success that I might create?” “Can I move up to the next level of success and run a center?" Infused with some degree of self-doubt, these reactions often become part of the fabric of recruiters’ work and personal life. Remember the old adages – “You are a recruiter 24/7” and “ABC – Always Be Closing.” How can one heal or change patterns of self-doubt? First, there must be an acceptance that no degree of recruiting success will erase the emotions associated with what did, or did not happen in one's youth. Attempting to gain power over others in the recruiting process to compensate for self-doubt or weakness is useless.Second, realize that everyone, at times, has self-doubt. A way to overcome it is to make conscious supportive choices during difficult times. Talk with a trusted friend or relative using emotional honesty. Positive emotional connections help create supportive environments and a profound sense of unity when low self-esteem arises out of self-doubt. I am not advocating a pity party, just be honest and talk to a close friend. In turn, your friend may need to speak to you.Third, organize your daily thinking around the inner strengths you possess; honesty, loyalty, creativity, dedication to completing tasks, tenacity, your love for family or friends, or any myriad of other strengths. Whatever your personal strengths may be, honor them. These qualities have the most value, even when facing self-doubt and cannot be taken away. This is not just self-talk in the midst of self-defeating patterns. It is honoring the best of who you are while in the midst of adversity. The Army needs every recruiter every day giving 100 percent; do not doubt your resilience and the power of self-actualizing. The challenge for center leaders, first sergeants, and commanders is to assist the recruiter through positive reinforcement and encouragement and to remove any self-doubt they have facilitating the enlistment process. This is accomplished through training, leading, and mentoring. Recruiters receive their fair share of a daily inoculation of negativity.Leaders must provide positive charge to keep motivation levels high. Think back to the self-doubt you experienced when you first started your Army career. Now think about how you felt by the end of basic training. You probably felt highly trained and capable of commanding a division. You lost all self-doubt. We all experience self-doubt from time to time, though we may deal with it differently. I encourage each Soldier to research the “locus of control” both internal and external and determine their own methods of dealing with self-doubt. I also suggest reading “The Psychology of Persuasion – Influence,” by Robert B. Cialdini, PhD. This is by far the best book I have read on the art of influence. It is a must read for the aspiring recruiter and leader. You will not be disappointed.