When we can not see others directly we have to assume, and remember, things about them. We build a "library" of their likes and dislikes, habits and triggers. We relate indirectly through our interpretation of them. Most people do not know it's possible to see others directly, and even if they do they rarely trust it enough to use in relating.

With our energetic eyes closed we are limited to guessing and hoping, requiring my library to talk to your library, at the expense of intimacy. We project a story about who "they" are and then relate with that story. When they fail to meet our projected story we get angry, hurt, offended or just suffer. This "story" of how things "should be" creates a wall between us, a barrier that does not allow what is, who I am, who you are, to relate directly and play.

Children play without this wall. they connect, get hurt, love and forget instantly. Good or bad experience are not important because nothing lasts. Only when a pain repeats with enough intensity do we split and begin to talk to ourselves, telling stories of relational danger. These stories protect us by removing our attention from a painful present, transporting it into the story.

Relating awake is a mutual choice to shed these protections and be with another directly, without stories, without a library. To relate this way is equivalent to choosing awakeness. Any story you must uphold about the other, or about relating, will sooner or later block intimacy. Relating awake is burning with the question "who are you?"

If we can handle laughter, but not anger or pain, then we will have to filter reality to not offend the personality. To "laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears" - Khalil Gibran - on love.

Relating awake is to choose to see and know all that is in or between me and you. It is NOT advisable (any more than the spiritual path is advisable). Only when you have exhausted all interest in relating to and from the personality will you find this kind of relating to be with meaning and joy.