NYT Shocked to Discover McDonald's Serves Unhealthy Food

McDonald's does not serve
healthy food. This fact has been discussed at length in multiple books
and films. For all
the chain's recent talk
about offering "healthy options," it will always be the birthplace of
the McRib and the Shamrock shake. In other words, most people know what
they're in for when they see those golden arches.

New York Times
food blogger Mark
Bittman is not one of those people. Specifically, Bittman is
outraged--outraged--by the quality of the oatmeal McDonald's introduced earlier this year. Per Bittman,
the chain has taken a "promising lifesaver" of a foodstuff and is "doing
everything it can to turn oatmeal into yet another bad choice." How? By
adding sinister, unhealthy ingredients like apples, cranberries, and
raisins to the dish. Cranberries! They might as well serve plutonium,
beer-battered, in sulfuric acid.

And don't even think about saying
you think the chain's oatmeal actually tastes good. That's just a sign
you're "addicted to sickly sweet foods, which is what this bowlful of
wholesome is." Bittman reports one serving of contains "more sugar than
a Snickers bar and only 10 fewer calories than a McDonald’s
cheeseburger or Egg McMuffin."

Things brings Bittman McDonald's plan for global gastronomical domination. "Here's the
thing," he explains, "McDonald’s wants to get people in the store. Once a
day, once a week, once a month, the more the better, of course, but
routinely."

Kind of like how The New York Times wants you to buy
their newspaper. The more the better. And maybe a Boston Globe while
you're at it. Good grief: the capitalists are everywhere.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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Ray Gustini is the author of Lucky Town, a forthcoming book about sports in Washington, D.C. He is a former staff writer for The Atlantic Wire.