It will get better

In reply to Each one her own posted by Dante on Sunday, February 04 2018 at 5:01:00PM

- They just need more time to come to terms with it.

- Sometimes in the process of navigating with this crazy dynamic of two separate worlds (adult and kid), I forget that SHE is actually on my side.

- That is, she knows much more than they do about my feelings and has known for much, much longer.

- She figured it out ages ago, tested her hypothesis in her (our) own unique way, and came to a conclusion in line with my own.

- They're worried about how it's going to effect her, but she has already chosen how it's going to effect her:

- As if she sensed the tension beneath my skin, she appeared "Boo!" in the doorway, walked in as if it was her home (it is), quietly navigated to my bed, crawled up next to me, moved my arm out of the way as though she owned it (she does), squeezed her 10-year-old self in beside the man that she loves, pulled my arm back down over her chest, and waited patiently until my stress was gone and our rhythms were in sync.

- When I spent the last 5 years of our time together making sure she knew I was on HER side rather than their (her parents') side, it should really be plain as day to me that I'm still winning here. After all, I'm doing this for her; she told me what she wants (repeatedly), and I'm doing everything in my power to ensure she gets what she wants, with minimal possible risk and trauma to either of us - because she deserves it because . . . love is.

- But sometimes it's not plain as day to me. When I don't see her for so long it's hard to keep remembering enough to stay positive.

- The reality is: although they know now that I have the potential to be attracted to girls her age - and they may use that as grounds to try and separate us - they don't know that SHE knows or how she feels about it.

- I know the truth: that she doesn't mind one bit - in fact, she loves it, and wants it all for herself.

- This is not the beginning or the end - it's just a minor obstacle.

- We're already in so deep emotionally and physically - and they haven't a clue since they don't believe such a thing is possible.

- As time goes and she grows more mature, and new lines of communication open up for us, they'll eventually have no choice but to let me in. Even minus any knowledge about our romantic relationship (which goes even deeper), they're already coming around to the idea that the friendship bond in and of itself is strong enough she kinda has a right to maintain contact with me.