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Korean Directors Take on STAR WARS

Episode VIII: There are some pip-squeaks complaining about Tilda Swinton’s character displaying green-colored, multi-modular sexual organs in plain view, but the ratings board refuses to saddle the film with an R-rating based on that. Regrettably, cameo appearances by Byun Hee-bong and Park Hae-il (as spider-like alien creatures who converse in Kyongsang Province dialect) had to be cut from the final version. After a director’s cut pre-screening, Disney builds for Bong a brand-new mansion and a personal studio like Skywalker Ranch in California and throws in a personal jet as a bonus, separate from the director’s fee.

Result: Three Korean universities establish Force Studies Departments and invite Bong to assume the position of Chair. He declines.