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project365 – March 14, 2012 – Bloody dessert

Vampires… Let’s discuss. We know all the regular stuff about them, they are the living undead, immortal unless killed by a steak to the heart, and generally only injured by a splash of holy water or maybe garlic or a crucifix depending on the circumstances, they only go out at night, and they may be able to transform into a bat. We know a lot, but there is a lot of missing information. Do they survive strictly on their liquid diet, or could they substitute with an occasional salad? What kind of dressing? Do they ever crave a little meat to go along with their liquid feast? If their extra rare steak over at the local Black Angus gets overcooked, do they even the score with a lousy tip, or do they help themselves to a little waitress blood for dessert? Do they eat turkey? Tuna? Sushi? I guess turkeys and fish have blood too, but for some reason I only imagine them eating red meat. What happens if they grind their teeth while sleeping? Fang erosion? Can they get invisalign braces? Do they like coffee? When they whiten their teeth, do they keep their fangs out, or retracted? Crest white strips wouldn’t fit with fangs out, but if they are retracted they would have a line mid fang… Too many questions without answers. If the next Twilight movie goes into some of these details, it will undoubtedly be a mega hit! The red wine made me think of vampires, and I want some answers damn it!

This was taken with my Nikon D80 and 60mm lens, using a closed macbook pro as the backdrop, and the blocks strategically placed to hide the apple logo. I risked life and limb to bring this picture to you, to fit it all into the frame I used a custom “human tripod”, dangerously perched on the couch back and arm to get up high enough. In hindsight, I could have moved the macbook to the floor, or used a different lens…. Oh well, live and learn.