Glawe's Views

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Lorri Glawe, Pilot Tribune Staff

Wild kingdom

I love the zoo - well most of them anyway, if they are built to remotely resemble the natural habitat. Like the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha. We have made a point of going there every year for the past several. Even though my kids are growing, they don't seem to tire of going there.

How strange some of the animals seem. The lion and tiger cubs look so cuddly; the gorillas and orangutans so human; and the creatures in the aquarium so bizarre.

One time we watched a polar bear play basketball with an old ball and a Rubbermaid container floating in the water for several minutes. He seemed to know that we were enjoying his playfulness and continued on and on.

I made the comment to a worker there once that God must really have a sense of humor to come up with some of those creatures. She corrected me by saying she thought he was being creative. I guess she is right.

I wish sometimes I were an animal.

* If I were an octopus I would be able to hold onto the things that all my kids want me to hold for them. Eight hands would definitely be better than two most days. I have commented to them often when they want me to do this and this and this, "Do you think I'm an octopus?"

I would like to be one - just for a day.

* If I were a bird I wouldn't have to worry about stopping at the gas pumps to get gas in my car and dole out half a paycheck for the bill.

Instead I would dive down and pull squiggly little worms out of the ground to provide me energy.

And if there was someone I saw below that I didn't particularly care for or that I thought was doing something that shouldn't be done - well, it would be my privilege to shower them with a white mess.

* If I were a turtle I wouldn't have to explain why I was always late - it would be expected of me.

I would be perhaps more prone to sticking my neck out and trying new things instead of getting in a rut following the same routine over and over.

* If I were a penguin, I would love these cold Iowa winters and not mind eating fish. The penguins I have seen at the zoo look healthy - do you suppose that is why? Because they dine on fish, like we are told to do because it is supposed to have such good health benefits?

* If I were a giraffe I would feel tall - something I haven't felt for a few years at my house since my kids have their dad's tall genes. And better yet I would look tall. I've tried wearing stripes to make me look taller. It doesn't work. I just look like a candy cane.

One thing I wouldn't want to have if I were a giraffe, though, is a sore throat!

* If I was a gorilla, I'd stare back at all the people looking at me to see how long they could keep up their stare. I think I would win. And after that, I'd bang on my chest to give the people something more to ohhh and ahhh about.

* If I were a peacock, I'd strut around showing off my feathers and all my colors rather than being the plain and simple me that I am; I'm more comfortable keeping to myself. (Yes, I do realize that to be able to strut those wonderful colored feathers, I'd have to be a male peacock. Maybe for just a day!)

* If I were an elephant I'd enjoy carrying my "suitcase" around with me wherever I went and the fact that my shower would always be close by. I would try to amuse myself by pretending my trunk was one of those party blowers and spray water out at those people who didn't laugh at me.

I guess I am stuck being the animal I am - boring, always late, short and still hating to eat fish.

We are who we are. But next time you get the opportunity to visit a zoo, take a closer look at God's creations.

* Please do not feed the columnists. But you may reach Lorri Glawe via lglawe@ stormlakepilottribune.com