Speed blogging. It’s not unlike speed dating and it’s what I’m doing today. It’s something that I think every mommy blogger out there has done at least once. {If you’re a mommy blogger or a daddy blogger or a non-parenting blogger, please tell me you’ve done it.} It’s a post that’s quickly typed out when one realizes that it’s almost the end of the blogging week with only one post {and a giveaway at that!} published earlier in the week. And every professional blogger out there advises to post at least 3-4 times weekly to keep your audience entertained so I MUST GET OUT ANOTHER POST! I’m tap dancing for you people. I’ve got a sequined leotard, coat tails, a top hat, cane and everything!

Why the quiet blog lately? As you might already know, HH has been out of town for work over the last ~3 weeks and I’ve been held hostage by the kids. When the blog is quiet that usually means my house is pretty loud and chaotic. And when the blog is cruising with posts, well, my house is still pretty loud and chaotic. But missing that extra pair of adult hands has left me with no hands to type up posts. Which begs the question: at what age is it okay to start dictating blog posts to your baby? I hope you say seven months. Please say seven months.

Guess what. Mabrey just scored her first job. You go, babygirl.

I’ve also been plugging away at non-bloggy projects {mood boards, my writings elsewhere, planning ahead for some pretty amazing collaborations coming up – all of which I’m stoked about!} one of which included getting the mudroom – or at least a corner of it – in ship shape. See above.

Me to myself: Okay, so that’s one image and three paragraphs. Is that enough for a post? No. More tap dancing.

So, back to the kids. Because that’s where my mind is these days. I should probably throw in some random kid convo as well to keep things real. Yes, let’s do that.

Layne: Really, mom. Eggs? Eggs for breakfast? I don’t want eggs.

Everett: I have to pee.

Mabrey: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Layne was voted onto student council earlier in the school year. As a former student council president, I’m so proud of him. This week they are busy organizing a food drive for a local food pantry so we’ve been working on a poster and lines for a video they’re filming today that show other students what to do with the food they bring into school. He likes it when I say “Lights. Camera. Action!” before we practice then “…and scene” at the end. Seriously. I could totally go in and make that entire video myself knowing each kid’s lines and ROCK IT.

Layne: Ugh. I wanted the ketchup next to my eggs not on top of them.

Everett: I have to poop.

Mabrey: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Everett has been busy being Everett. That kid is strange. He scares me sometimes. He studies people and their mannerisms, gestures, clothing, accessories, etc. like he’s an actor prepping for a biographical film about that person. He takes it all in then chooses his role for the day and totally commits to it. This morning before preschool he was playing Grandpa. He couldn’t see without his glasses {a.k.a. bright blue sunglasses with puppy stickers on them – hey, he does what he can with his limited props} so had to wear them while he got dressed, ate breakfast and went to school. He is asking Santa for straps {known as ‘suspenders’ to the rest of the world}, black dress pants {just because they have the word ‘dress’ in them doesn’t mean they’re for girls. Let’s make that perfectly clear.}, a tie and golfer’s cap to play Uncle Ray next.

Layne: Hey, those eggs weren’t that bad. Can I have some more?

Everett: Mabrey pooped.

Mabrey: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

All of a sudden Mabrey has decided to take a bottle. I pretty much follow her lead on everything. It’s easier that way. So when she decided earlier this week that bottles were her preferred method of calorie intake versus nursing, I went with it. I haven’t nursed or pumped for two days so I think we’re done. Just like that. I’m sad and happy at the same time. I think I’m feeling the effects of the hormone changes that go along with weaning. Hormone changes + single parenting = cray cray mommy. While HH has been away, Mabrey has learned to sit on her own, clap, hold her bottle and feed herself solid foods. Oh, and type. HH won’t know what to think when he sees her again!

Layne: You know my lunch you made me yesterday? It was good but can you not give me so many carrots next time. The thing is I love carrots but I want to eat them all and they just don’t give me enough time at school to eat that many.

Everett: Can I see Mabrey’s poop?

Mabrey: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

HH comes home tomorrow. It’s also our 10th wedding anniversary. I’m giving him the gift of daddy time. Quality one-on-three time with the kids. It’s all he’s ever wanted. And more.

…and scene.

FYI – Mabrey didn’t type this post. Really. Do you think a baby could spell ‘accessories’? C’mon. Even I have to look at that one twice. Two c’s? One c? Two s’s? One s? Two r’s? One r? So. Many. Consonants.

75 Comments

This post made me laugh so hard- as a mommy to three kiddos, and a husband that travels (but has never been gone 3 weeks- I don’t know how you did it! :) I can all too relate- glad you get that extra set of adult hands back soon!

I also LOVE that bench! I realize they say to blog that often, but as a reader (not a blogger) I’d rather have less. I like that you take your time & your posts are always well thought out and full of good info. I’m actually glad that blogging wasn’t around when mine were little. I have 3 boys, the youngest being 17. I’m afraid it would have distracted me. I can just imagine myself telling them (over & over) to go do something for just a few more minutes while I sit here at the computer :) Enjoy yourself, time flys and they are grown and gone before you can blink.

Life gets in the way of blogging…even for us non-parents-unless-you-count-furry-pets-as-children people, so I can’t imagine what it must be like for you! Just know we’ll all be here waiting to read your next post…whether it’s in one day, one week, or one month. :)

As one fellow crazed mommy to another, don’t worry about tap dancing for us, we get it! Also, I’m so (SO) relieved to know that I’m not the only person out there who has a poop obsessed kid (not calling Everett poop obsessed but I pretty much hear those things coming from my daughters mouth about every hour). When I imagined being a mom, I never realized I’d spend so much time thinking/talking about/looking at/cleaning up poop. My poop, her poop, animal poop…I feel like a poop connoisseur. Ok, enough about poop. Enjoy having HH home and enjoy your time once you escape!

As for the sudden stop to nursing/pumping – the same thing happened with both my boys. And it also made me/my hormones cray cray for a week or so! With my first son I fought and fought to keep him interested in nursing . With my second I followed his lead and one unexpected day it was just over. I was a bit sad, but it sure was sweet to say goodbye to that pump!

Hahaha – that’s hillarious. I can totally relate to things going a bit crazytown when the hubby is away. My hubby travels a lot for work too (but not in such long stretches) and it’s a lot with a two year old and nine month old. I have so much respect now for all the single parents out there. You should treat yourself to something relaxing when HH gets home or hire a cleaning service to come over (I know I’m a serious slacker on housekeeping when my hubby is away).

The rope handles came with the basket. I saw the handle-less one you have and considered it – it was cheaper! – but decided I liked the rope detail. The basket will collapse if one of the boys smashes it but it easily pops back up with a little tug at the handles and stays that way until the next smashing. Not sure if my Target is any different than yours. The rope handled baskets were on an end cap – not within an aisle.

I love your posts. I am also a Mommy (1 and 3 year old) and also have a husband who travels in the winter time ALOT!! Like hes scheduled to be gone for 67 days this season!!!!!! I am also LOVING your bench! You have to source it!!! It would be so cruel not too!!!

I really appreciate the sequins and wonder if your gorgeous baby daughter could have possibly packed more development into those 3 weeks. Thanks for sharing a reality check after getting that stencilling done (impressive!). Well done you – sending a virtual mummy trophy your way :)

*Loved* this post – it seriously cracked me up! I’m just really impressed that you’ve managed to post at all (I don’t have kids, my husband is at home, and it’s still probably been about of month of crickets over at my blog – I have good intentions, but then life happens). Yay you!

One of my favorite posts ever—you’re hilarious. And like Melissa, I read it really fast because I imagined that’s how you typed. Don’t stress yourself out, I love whenever you show up in my Google Reader feed—no tap dancing needed! ;)

3 – 4 posts EACH week? I guess I’m thankful I don’t blog for money cause this momma of one little wild 2 year old couldn’t keep up with that pace! Single parenting is a. lot. of. work. Glad HH is headed home to y’all! Happy Ann’y!

I am laughing crying, or is it cry laughing right now! Okay, there may be a little pee laughing in there, too! Thanks for sharing the inner workings of your mind. We can all relate. I just love your ‘off’ sense of humor. Okay, gotta get the eldest off the bus, so let the bus stalking begin. Have a great day and I hope you get a big hug from HH when he returns. You are clearly superwoman.

My husband travels a lot for work too, and I also have two young boys (the younger of the two is very strange–in a good way), and I am expecting baby number three. I so get it.

Do you ever feel, at the end of the day, so exhausted from all you’ve done, and yet when you try to recount (maybe to your husband) just what you’ve done, you come up with a sorry-sounding list of accomplishments? Drives me bonkers!

Oh yes! Since HH has been away we talk on the phone every so often at night after the kids are in bed. He asks what everyone’s been doing and I find myself saying, ‘Crap! There was something I was going to tell you about someone today but I can’t remember which kid it was about and what they did!’

This post made me laugh out loud! As a mom of 3 kids 5 yrs and under I completely get it! I love your blog and love when a new post pops up in my reader. I’m inspired by your house and your style. Thanks for sharing the journey with us!

Thanks for keeping it real, it’s like in school when the teacher tells you to just write and something will come to you. Congrats on all of Mabrey’s forward progress. We have a 9 week old and every small change is worthy of a celebration. Also, Happy anniversary to you & HH.
Kirk

I’ll jump on the train here to say that you are amazing! I feel tired just reading what you’ve been up to. I fully appreciate your pulling the Fosse costume out of the costume box (I’m just guessing here that as another former dancer, you had a costume box too) to entertain us. (And now I have “Let Me Entertain You” from Gypsy in my head.) I’m always excited when you show up in my Google Reader- no matter how often it is. Happy Anniversary and Congratulations for the last 10 years and 3 weeks!

Thank you for the hilarious post! It sounds just like my house! I too have a traveling hubby and 4 boys. The last one is 4 months and still nursing. I’m having weaning envy. I also have an Everett (well, his name is actually Owen and he too is the second boy). All the things your Everett does is what my Owen does…costumes, smothering his baby brother, imitating family members. I laughed so hard when I read this! Thanks for taking the time to write this post and help all us moms see we’re not the only ones out there!

the best part about speed blogging is the stream of consciousness :) so so funny! AND, way to go on being super mom without a man for so long. i spend many nights alone with just the boys and it is so tiring. dinner and bedtime are enough to make any mama crazy. your boys will remember your love and service to them when they are older. what a gift you are giving to them!!

I did sprinkle a little bit of parmesan cheese on my spaghetti last night but nothing crazy. I also made some chocolate no bake cookies with real butter. That was a treat! But that’s been it so far. When I went dairy-free, pretty much the whole family went dairy free so there aren’t that many dairy products in our house. After making the switch to almond milk, I don’t think I’ll ever go back to cow’s milk. And I loved cow’s milk so that says a lot for almond milk!

It’s funny. Once you make a lifestyle change like that for a long period of time, it kinda sticks. I am, however, looking forward to some steamy, cheesy pizza {as much as I want!} and eating anything made of milk chocolate. I probably won’t go overboard though because I imagine my body will react, like ‘what the heck is this?!’

I can totally get it! I actually like the way you post. Your pictures are clean and simple and your writing is funny. I look everyday for a new post but understand what you have going. So if there isnt a new post I just check back every hour for the next few days until you post something… Just kidding.

LOL! I think this is one of your best posts so far. (don’t get me wrong I LOVE the decorating stuff). But this was so refreshing to read, different from your normal posts and it almost felt like a quick sitcom sandwiched in between decorating episodes. And I love the part about Everett. cracks me up. :o)