I have a question for you. It is late, so if anyone answers me, Ill probably have to answer most posts tomorrow. I have this weird dichotomy going on. I go to church and pray a lotbut there is a part of me that just wants to die, although I dont really want to. I was just listening to the Stone Temple PilotsI Got Youabout heroin. For a few moments I thought about how I might procure some, because tomorrow I have to go to the American Embassy in Ottawa to fix my papers so I can go see my family in Chicago; the embassy is near the Byward Market, where there are many drug dealers. Why is it that a person could be so divided. I feel so sad, and yet, so full of faith. Anyway take care, Julie

Having faith is good, but realize God has given us means to deal with illness & depression. Doctors & therapists who can help you understand what you're feeling.

I won't say therapists are the total answer because I've witnessed some pretty crazy therapists out there who tell you to go to your "happy place"! If you had one, I guess you'd have figured that out already on your own. There are good therapists too, but could take time to find the right one.

I'd suggest you talk to a family doctor & maybe get on something for depression & see if that helps. Is this something that has gone on a long time, or just recent? Sometimes when you get overloaded with things, you just shut down or if you've recently gone thru a life trauma.

While I wouldn’t consider myself an expert on these things - I am just a Christian trying to get by too. But here are a few suggestions.

Realize that the Christian life is not an easy one and we are very often torn between the world of man and the kingdom of God between the flesh and the body of Christ.

Realize that maybe listening to Stone Temple Pilots is not what you need to be doing atm. Now I still listen to some of fav bands Pink Floyd, Deep Purple etc. if I found that encouraging incorrect feelings/thoughts I hope I would drop them like a hot potato. It’s like being double minded - not a good state for you.

Keep praying and don’t give up - my wife’s name is Julie- if you are half the wonderful woman she is then try valuing what God has done in you and don’t look at your lack.

Keep your eyes on Jesus ALONE. The depression is not of God - dismiss it. Only you can do that and since you want to, you will. This is what God says to do.....

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Phil 4:8

Yes Julie. Trust in the Lord God, God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob, and HIS special SON transformed into a human being to come to earth and give not only the final of eternal life to all who believe in what HE did, but as a special conduit to pray to directly. Time to start to talk one on one with with Jesus and our Heavenly Father, and then trust. Take it from someone who over many years have done so. HE will provide the needed care for your soul to in due time experience a joy in the depths of your heart.

HE never turns away from those that call out to HIM, with a contrite and believing heart. Sometimes it seems so, at first glance. Then perhaps twenty, thirty or more years later, one sees the exact prayers they asked HIM to do, come to past. Sometimes immediate aid, in a moment of need. You get the picture. Now Julie. Take this old guy's advice. In all I wrote above, of course is the understanding, you are ready to yield to HIS Word, as HE provides the strength and desire over time to do so.

If dear lady you already have done these things, time for Faith to kick in. Do remember those verses in the Book of Hebrews, Chapter 11.

Beginning with " Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

I know. I have had to go deeply into that mode a number of times. And in due time HE always came through.

And yes Julie. He filled my heart with real joy. You take care Julie. George

Don’t let the errand turn into an excuse. Get your papers taken care of and flee temptation, as it recommended in the Bible. Hang tight to your faith, you have it for a reason and have been feeding it by going to church and by talking to our Heavenly Father. God wants you to lean on Him at all times and especially when your spirit is exhausted. Depression can indicate feelings of guilt; if you feel some sort of regret, talk to Him about it. He’s waiting to hear from you.

BTW, I have failed many times when fleeing temptation, but have also had some successes. Succeeding is such a relief once you get past that moment of decision. I’m praying for you, Julie. By His stripes, you are healed, both spiritually and physically.

And evil will use that against you. You are in a battle - fight for who you are, you are not depression, you are not drugs. YOU are the FAITHFUL, walk in it - knowing all will be well even though it may not look like it now - everything is subject to change. You are not alone and you know it - that is why you reached out. And that’s awesome!

Another great way to flee is to do something for someone else, just as your prayers will help this young man. Pray for all who are also depressed and seeking the wrong way out. God will reward you for your compassion and your empathy.

Obtain a good supply of D3. Take with breakfast 20,000 units each day for three days, then decrease dosage to 10,000 units each morning until you can get plenty of sunshine. To maintain a good blood level take at least 5,000 units per day once you’re back in equilibrium.

I don't know how old you are, and wouldn't dare ask anyway, but if you are near menopause, this depression could be hormonal. There are also other physical reasons for depression so you should make an appointment to see your doctor and have some tests done to make sure your hormone levels are in balance. Thyroid deficiencies are another cause so get your TSH blood work done, as well. There are many medications that can help you feel better, but PLEASE do not even think about illegal drugs like heroin. They will only cause more problems than you will be able to deal with. DO NOT give in to that temptation!

I hope you can get to visit your family in Chicago, sometimes we get lonely for our peeps and it lifts our spirits to be with them again even if for only a short time. Whatever is going on in your personal life - job, marriage/singlehood, friends, etc. it's good to remember that even the most terrible things will pass.

Having the Lord in your life gives you an edge that unbelievers sorely lack. Just rest in God's love for you and trust that he will lead you into what is best for you. Give him your doubts, your questions, your fears and your hopes and he WILL guide you into where he wants you. I have experienced the same emotions as you - I think all of us do at some point - but God has never let me down. He is our comforter, our rock, our fortress and our deliverer and redeemer. He loves us better than anyone else possibly could. Rejoice in your salvation and instead of looking at all the things you don't have that you think will make you happy, look at all the things you DO have and rejoice in the blessings he has given you. Learn to live like the Apostle Paul when he said:

..for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13)

26
posted on 05/28/2013 11:17:47 PM PDT
by boatbums
(God is ready to assume full responsibility for the life wholly yielded to Him.)

I think it’s not so unusual in older people, which I assume you are, that don’t have responsibilities such as children that rely on them and therefore sometimes find it tough to find reasons to keep on going.

I don’t believe in trying to chase away ‘bad’ thoughts but also we should not wallow in them. They come by themselves, and will leave the same way. If prayer helps that, then great - if not, it doesn’t matter. Just wait them out.

The Creator gave you life. It’s not yours to take. That’ll happen when it is right to happen. It’s pretty simple, really. Either we trust the Creator or we don’t.

You’ll be alright. It’s funny how time really does heal wounds. I struggle with depression myself, I had it since I was 10-years-old and I also had to endure getting a divorce, losing a few jobs and dealing with even more embarrassing scenarios. Here’s what I do to deal with it, but I can’t promise it will work for you. Although, I’m not a Rev. Jesse Jackson supporter, I live by the motto: “keep hope alive.” I got to church every Sunday and keep reminding myself that if today isn’t good then wait til tomorrow. Hey, when I was younger I used to listen to Stone Temple Pilots too. But they don’t play their music on Beijing radio stations here. Anyway, life will get better. Last November, I get a letter saying I was black-listed from the Chinese State-owned media. Despite being a Republican, the letter still bummed me out, since I wanted to initiate media reforms in Beijing, and I was at that time employed by the Chinese media. So 2 years of hard work went down the drain. But you know what? I found a better job and I’m still in China. But I had to be patient and wait for a better tomorrow. So, “keep hope alive.”

The first and best advice I have is that you speak to someone in person immediately. Whether a friend, a relative or although scary, the best choice could be a professional or a religious leader. Posting this online is a positive call for help, but you need to follow it up with someone in person.

I only experienced deep depression once when I thought I would never see my son again and I did contemplate death for a split second, but it was only fleeting. So I can't empathize completely. I will not minimize your difficulties or the seriousness of your feelings. However, life is truly amazing and I would encourage you to embrace it.

Exercise, fresh air, less animal fat, more fiber (gains) and fruit and veggies.

Seriously. That and more sleep/less work stress and you’re good. The Good Word is there to help us along, keep our spirits up and provide spiritual comfort, but we are designed to MOVE, and make use of out earthly vessels.

Oh, and yeah, no smoking tobacco, sorry. No good for the lungs. And cut back on the processed sugar.

Yeah, I might sound like a health nut, but i’m not. Just passing on what worked for me.

First, understand that depression is real. It’s like being cold. No one would attempt to believe that their being cold was nothing to worry about. If they were cold enough to realize it, they would need to fix it or else it would be all they can think about. So if you have become aware of your depression, then it is something you need to address.

Second, depression is temporary. Whether or not you need medication to help or if this is just a transitional time in your life, depression ebbs and flows. No matter how much it seems like you will never feel any better, remember that you are just in a season of this struggle.

Third, don’t add worries to your life right now. You have experienced death and a life changing transition with your job. Don’t go picking at other things you can’t change. Confide in people you love and trust about the feelings you have and how dark the road is for you right now.

As a person of faith, you might be encouraged to read of those people in the Bible who suffered from periods of doubt and depression as well. Elijah and David both struggled with periods where all they wanted to do was crawl in a hole and die. But God saw them through those dark periods, and he can do the same for you.

It’s actually encouraging that you would be brave enough, maybe desperate enough, to post this thread. There are people who can help and want to help you. From the recent blows to your life, I am not surprised that you are depressed. Losing a loved one and a job are devastating.

Find something to splurge in (ice cream, a pizza, etc.), pop in a favorite comedy, read a book that inspires, and sleep. Then the next day, find time to do things like that again. Then the next day, the same. If you feel out of control, seek counseling.

You sound numb, like you are going through the motions of attending church and praying but not feeling any joy or peace from it. Some issue is holding you back. It could be medical or mental or some combination of the two. But the one CLEAR thing that anyone on this board can tell you, is that whatever is preventing you from living a healthy happy life... it will only be a million times harder to figure out if you add drugs to the situation.

What you are going through CAN be made better! You CAN feel happy! It may take a small journey to get you there. Don't add a million hard miles to the trip by depending on drugs.

You are in a weak spot. It can happen to any of us! And its the exactly worse time ever ever ever to be exposed to drugs. AVIOD all of them like the plague right now!

Start with something super simple. Go for a walk. Get some exercise. Get your heart pumping! Talk to a friend. Take a friend with you on that walk. Get your hair done. Or your nails. Find a healthy way to pamper yourself. Help someone else. Sing out loud with the radio! Plant something in a bright colored flowerpot. Cook a fancy meal from scratch. And when your pray remember He loves you and wants you to be happy.

Julie, Please take the following as sound advice. Prayer can be as simple as pleas for one's needs. A please dear Lord, help me through this. HE searches the hearts of our souls. HE knows even before we know what the deal is. Rest your head in trust in HIM tonight. HE is not capable of abandoning HIS.

My nephew left the active service role as a Marine, after two tours in Iraq. He now is on his second tour in what is considered remote areas in small FOB's in Afghanistan as a civilian, Intel Contractor. So many fine men and women serve our country in so many ways. Rest your head upon your pillow soon and just put yourself into HIS Almighty Hands. All will be well in due time.

Keep it simple. Trust in HIM. And with regular praise thank HIM for all HE has done for you thus far in life. HE will never fail you.

As others have pointed out, Stone Temple Pilots is probably not a good place for your head.

I taught my kids that the Bible has a medical prescription for mental health. It is Philippians 4:8-9. This is from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Church at Philippi. I will include a few of verses before since they are, of themselves, uplifting:

Phil 4:4
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthymeditate on these things.
9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

The New King James Version. 1982 (Php 4:49). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

I can understand how you feel. Some days I've wished I could go to sleep and not wake-up. Years ago I thought of killing myself, but, thank G-d, I thought of what it would do to those who care about me. Sometimes I forget that I am loved. I've seen what suicide does to those left behind. It's horrible. I'm not taking anything for depression, nor have I talked to doctors about it. I think most drugs just make things worse, however, I have taken St. Johns Wort and it does help. I've never told my doctor of my depression because I didn't want to be on a list. After learning of SAD, I force myself to get outside for a couple of hours a day. Getting outside doing gardening, and taking my dog for a walk helps me a lot. I know this seems stupid, I thought it when I first read it myself, but, just telling myself “I'm happy” and smiling helps. At least it helps me. Also, thinking of ways to piss off liberals makes life worth living. For years thinking about how bad the world was made me depressed. Now I think about how good it will be to see Obama and Holder in handcuffs and on their way to jail.

Please let me say something from the heart. I feel where you are coming from, but not from depression. Today I went with my mother to the hospital where she was diagnosed with heart failure. The doctor thinks we caught it in time, but then he said something that shocked us. There was a tumor we didn’t even know was there!

We are overwhelmed with this, it is so much to take in. What is more we don’t have what we need to fight this, nor even the ability to get into the nearest large hospital so we can have the tests my mother needs.

I am exhausted, my legs are in much pain from standing all day, and I am just sitting here trying to get my mind off it long enough to drink some juice and go to bed. I am so tired.

And I see your post.

Julie, I want you to understand this is coming from someone who is living in a hell right now. My mother is suffering, I am suffering. We are at the end of our strength.

But give up? Never! We will pray, we will ask for prayer, whatever. We will fight this. I will never give up. My mother will not give up.

Julie, I have had so much pain in the last 6-7 years. I am hurting so badly. I need a miracle. I know what bad times can do to you. And with everything in me, I just want to plead with you: Hang in there!

You say you pray. Our God hears prayer, even when we can’t hear Him. Right now I can’t hear Him. I wondered today why the Lord was being so silent. I can’t hear Him. But that doesn’t stop me from knowing He is there. That He loves us. That He is working things out.

Julie, don’t numb the pain. Please don’t. That is a road that will take you deeper and deeper into real despair. Let God into your pain. Share it with Him. He loves you. He is listening. Just talk to Him.

I want to recommend something to you. There is a Bible teacher who impacted my life years ago, and I think you need to hear what he has to say. His name is Malcolm Smith. His understanding of God’s love is... unbelievable. I think his youtube videos may change your life.

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