These aren’t words you’ll read often, but spare a thought for poor John Terry. You’ve just got back home to face an angry nation after the worst individual performance of your career contributed to a 4-1 loss to Germany. And now the rumours are starting up that all the nonsense in the camp was your fault. You just want to forget all about it.

But Martin Dimichelis will not let anyone forget about you. The Argentina defender said yesterday that, should he play as badly against Germany as England’s Conceited Sex-Addicted Disabled-Bay-Parking Loverat Brave John Terry did, he wouldn’t be allowed home.

Dimichelis has been criticised for his poor form, with the Argentinian media unhappy over his error that lead to South Korea scoring in Argentina’s 4-1 win during the group stage. The Bayern Munich defender rather put that into perspective with his slight at Terry.

“Seeing the way Terry played against Germany, if I was Terry I wouldn’t be able to go back to my country,” said Demichelis. “I’m strong but I’m not a masochist so I don’t read every criticism about me. I know that when the team is playing well there are always people who look for a weakness, for example me, but I know I can overcome this bad moment.”

Demichelis has found this week’s war of words between Germany and Argentina trickier than most, as he plays for Bayern Munich, and has appealed for respect ahead of the crunch quarter final clash tomorrow.

“I have been in Germany for seven years,” he said. They know me and they know I won’t change. But it does seem Germany don’t have a lot of respect for us. I am not paying much attention to it, but maybe they should show us some respect.”