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Louis CK’s “Chewed Up” hits CD/DVD December 16

He’s easily in my current Top 10, Top 5, even Top 2 of comics working today not simply for his material/persona, but Louis CK’s post-Lucky Louie re-dedication to the art form (see also a post-Fear Factor Joe Rogan) has ultimately yielded three hours in three years (Shameless, Chewed Up, and autumn’s Hilarious tour) with room left to develop a pilot for CBS and pop up in David Wain’s Role Models and Ricky Gervais’ upcoming This Side of the Truth. As he recently put it,

“Okay, I had a TV show, it was good, it’s over. What do I have the best chance of actually getting? Being Steven Spielberg, even though no one’s asking me to direct movies or thinks I can? At the time I got a new agent who said, ‘I can put you in theaters all over the country and you could make a living and more doing stand-up, and work wherever you want to.’ I thought, ‘Well, I could do that and try to be as good a stand-up as possible, like, try to get to the point where I’m a really, really good comedian. And if I do that, probably things will go well. I don’t think it’ll be a wasted effort. I don’t think no one won’t give a shit that I got really much better at that.’ So that was kind of the way I went. And I got addicted to laughter. I can’t get off the road. I just love having such a good time. I’m so obsessed with these specials now and I get to really just open my mouth and say how I’m really feeling at last.”

In honor of its December 16 CD/DVD release, herewith is a sampling of context-free Chewed Up highlights:

“I would happily blow 20 guys in an alley with bleeding dicks so I could get AIDS and then fuck a deer and then kill it with my AIDS. I would do that in a second.”
“She got an abortion on Christmas Eve? Oh my God!”
“I will grind it up in the Cuisinart and blow it up her ass with a straw!”
“When you’re getting ready to be a dad nobody pulls you aside and says, ‘You know, you’re going to be cleaning the vagina a lot because every time she takes a shit it goes straight up her twat.’ They don’t tell you that!”
“Women are non-violent, but they will shit inside of your heart.”
“I was thinking the other day that you can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you waited…and for me it was between the two buildings going down.”
“What are you, out of your fucking mind? You think I’m just going to rape you on the off chance that hopefully you’re into that shit?”
“When you become a woman is when people come out of your vagina and step on your dreams… you’re not a woman ‘til you’ve got long, chewed-up nipples. And you’re not a man ‘til you’ve sucked one of those fuckin’ things either, by the way.”

CK’s Hilarious tour continues into 2009; look for a filming date sometime in the first quarter.