"The Boxer"

"The Laker"

The Lyrics

Part of my new philosophy about getting more topical. Yes, this has been done, here's my take.

I am quite a tall boy and my story's been well toldWent and squandered my clean imageFor a night with one white chick that didn't like it roughLies, I attest, still a star cheats when he wants to cheatWhen he is ranked the bestMm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm

Well I left my wife and my family; I was looking for some joyFrom a cute hotel employeeGet "celebrity" room service from a hat check girlMaking whoop, don't take no for an answerNow it all seems like a blurWho's the press gonna listen to, me or her?

Asking only for some booty, man oh how I love this jobBut I don't like hookersLike to force myself on star-struck girls that come my wayI like 'em fair, there are times when they say they'll talkBut then they never dare

Now I'm wearing my Armani suit, and goin' into courtInto court Where this bimbo and her lawyers put their greed on meBleedin' me in the court

In the end I am a Laker, adored by many fansI can shoot the three and reboundI can carry them at crunch time whenShaq has five fouls or sits outWith my talent and my gameI'll be laughing, I'll be laughingFor the dollars ease the pain

I'll get off (crash) though you scoff, I'll still get offI'll get off (crash) though you scoff, I'll still get offI'll get off (crash) though you scoff, I'll still get offI'll get off (crash) though you scoff, I'll still get off, yes I'll still get off

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Rick D - Man, you really stunned me with how good this is! There should be some way to give you a "triple-double" score here (Three "10's") for this! Not only is the story line totally consistent, but every single word, intonation and syllable in this thing falls right into sync with the original song. You took this one end-to-end and then finished with a slam dunk! Somehow I'm picturing Chick Hearn rolling over in his grave and applauding at the same time. Without knowing what else is out there I'd have to say this could very well be the "Sports Parody of The Year" on this site. Whoa, man, sounds like the mustard is coming off MY hot dog right now, but you've got me really jazzed up with this one.

I thought I was a Lakers fan for many years until I moved to the Bay area and was forced to listen to people like Marv Albert. Now I know I was a Chick Hearn fan, who I would listen to without seeing the game. He loved the game, and it was infectious. When he died, a lot went out of my respect for the spoiled brats that play it now.

Caught this one looking through "Song of the month" entries - awesomely well-written, Rick: don't know the (nudge, nudge) ins and outs of the story, but it's pretty clear from the lyric. Surprisingly similar in outlook but from a different perspective to one of my first written-for-amiright submissions to the same tune (but I spelt 'Garfunkel' right ;-) )