Monday, December 17, 2012

I had to get some routine blood work done today. I call it "routine" because there's nothing wrong with me, not because I'm in the routine of doing it all the time.

As I turned the key in my car to head to the lab, I mentally reviewed the last time I had blood drawn. They couldn't find a vein, poked me a half-dozen times, used three different "fail proof" needles, and tied that blue stretchy thing tighter and tighter around my arm before they started menacingly eyeing my jugular.

Hands warm? I blasted the heater in my car, but only frigid air swirled round my blue fingers. I started to panic as I got nearer my destination and my hands were frozen in an icy grip around the steering wheel.

"Move your arms!" I was driving! So I started flapping my elbows, hoping it would have the same effect.

I arrived at my destination at last. Once inside, I commenced blowing hot air into my hands, flapping my elbows, and doing the, "I just guzzled a quart of water" dance. It was quite a sight, and quite a workout, let me tell you.

The nurse looked up, utterly unfazed. I'm sure she sees this sort of thing all the time.

Within two minutes I was sitting in the sterile room. A nurse was sterilizing my hand. I'd already warned her that my veins were impossible to find. She gave me a sterile smile and said, "Don't think about it. Think of puppies and Christmas."

I almost fainted at the thought of the cold steel about to be plunged into my frozen flesh. I closed my eyes and prayed for courage. I'd offer my acute suffering, meritoriously, for those suffering worse than I. I would be...

"How can I ever express the happiness of the marriage that is joined together by the Church, strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels and ratified by the Father? ... How wonderful the bond between two believers with a single hope, a single desire, a single observance, a single service! They are both brethren and fellow-servants; there is no separation between them in spirit or flesh; in fact they are truly two in one flesh and where the flesh is one, one is the spirit." Tertullian (Ad Uxorem, II, VIII, 6-8).

“A good wife is Heaven’s last, best gift to man, his angel and minister of graces innumerable, his gem of many virtues; her voice his sweetest music, her smiles his brightest day, her kiss the guardian of his innocence, her arms the pale of his safety, the balm of his health, the sure balsam of his life; her industry his surest wealth, her economy his safest steward, her lips his faithful counselor, her bosom the softest pillow of his cares, and her prayers the ablest advocate of Heaven’s blessing on his head.” - Jeremy Taylor