Thursday, November 27, 2014

We
all wake up every morning wanting to do the right thing – a crisp vision and
renewed sense of focus for what it’s going to take to be a good person. Check
that, a fucking STELLAR individual. But then we actually get out of bed. This is usually when
things start to slide downhill for me. When faced with never-ending demands
every day, then collapsing in a vibrating heap at the end of it, I find myself
asking: “Is this it? Is this what it’s
all about? And, am I doing it right?” It must be God that I’m asking,
because no one else seems to be listening. They’re too busy asking. So to be
honest, I struggled with this one – getting it down to just one question. If
pressed, what would be the most important thing for me to know? Then it dawned
on me that the question I’d ask wouldn’t be what mattered most to me…it would
be the fact that He answered. Just knowing He was there FOR SURE would make me feel a whole lot better about a lot
of things. Am I embarrassed to admit that? Yeah. My faith should be stronger
than that. But I think the older I get, the more I seem to question things.
Instead of feeling wiser, I seem to be getting more and more confused. Perhaps
it’s the onset of brain rot from drinking too much vodka in my youth. At any
rate, Doubting Thomas and I would have gotten along just fine.

Here forthwith are your responses to what you
would ask God, if you had just one question.

I would ask if I was going to make the cut…otherwise, look out.

I believe that God lives in us, as us. As
such, God lives within me, as me. So if He’s all-knowing, then why am I so confused
some days?

Where did I put my car keys?

How’s my Dad? Can he see me?

I don’t believe in the whole one God thing
per se, but if I did, the question I would ask is why is there so much hate in
religion?

Am I on the right path to becoming the person
I am meant to become?

Is heaven for real?

Are you real?

What do we gain from loss?

Why did you take her so young?

This question is way too deep for me today…I
think I’ll save this one for me.

The duck-billed platypus…what was that all
about?

When I die, can I come live with you?

Why do children get sick and leave us when
they are far too young – how is that part of a plan?

Why didn’t you let me start my life with him
from the start, instead of the middle?

Why isn’t there enough love to go around?

Am I fulfilling your plan for me?

Are you a man?

Tell me why I should believe…

Why did my sister have to die when her little
boy was only 7 years old?

Honestly, do animals go to heaven?

Will I be able to be a spectator and watch
the lives of my loved ones unfold?

I wouldn’t ask him anything.

What is the secret to curing cancer?

How did you come to exist?

Why is there suffering in the world while I
seem to be so fortunate?

When will it all be good enough? For me, when
I struggle, why is it always such a fight…with myself and with my soul.

Sometimes I wonder where he is, when I’m
tired and I need help.

How do you experience true unconditional
love?

Why did I turn away from you when I needed
you most?

Are you disappointed in me?

My first thought is not a question but rather
a request…tell him that I miss him.