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Friday, 30 May 2014

CFC Deploy to Catch Following Test's Capture of an Outpost

In what has been labelled as a reckless move by some, the entirety of the CFC has been moved to the southern region of Catch to fight back the Test Alliance Please Ignore menace. The deployment is designed to stop Test from snowballing into a mighty sov holding entity once more following their conquest of a completely irrelevant station.

The outpost was reportedly taken after Lychton Kondur made a 50 mil isk bet with SkierX that the CFC would not care if Test took the station. "When we initially proposed giving Test a system during our conquest of Catch Skier would retreat into the corner of his room and start mumbling 'grrr goons' for around fifteen minutes. Eventually he got over this and I proposed the bet. His alliance is pretty fucked now and in hindsight this might have been a bad idea, but he's got 50 mil isk out of it."

SkierX has not been seen since the announcement, meaning defacto control of the alliance was handed to Koahi of Koahisquad. In a brief alliance update he stressed the need to remain chill in such a situation. "people should just learn to be cool and have fun :) goonswarm would benefit much from learning the koahisquad ways. if you find your play style disrupted by the goon move join koahisquad so we can talk :)"

It seems this has enraged Goonswarm leadership more than Montolio could have ever imagined. No speech or statement was given with the move, and it was reported that most directors were extremely irate after learning Test had gained an outpost. "Test holding sov triggers most of the directorate" claimed a Head of Recon in Goonswarm. "Grrr Test", he added.

Propaganda has already started coming from the CFC. New players in Test have been issued leaflets warning them of the danger their toxic leadership poses - and the potentially fatal consequences of sharing a Jabber room with a director. Test have asserted they didn't really want that particular station; it was sort of in a useless place and it doesn't look as good as a Caldari station, they claimed.

It's unknown whether the CFC are only interesting in taking back the YHN-3K station or whether they will follow them around for several deployments again, forcing them back to FW. It's also unclear whether this attack is designed to stab Test repeatedly in the heart over and over again until their body stops moving, or whether it's an attempt to hack off one of their limbs.