Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Disclaimer: I am far from an authority on this subject, but
judging by the popularity of this blog’s posts relating to Lao girls and
women, I will address the subject of Lao GF’s as best I can:

Actually, there’s really no such thing as a “Lao girlfriend”
for a Western guy; at least in the way that Falang understand the term. You
either know girls
through guys or families, or you have a relationship that is more serious
and formalized – either a wife or a mia
noi. Both are financial arrangements and even if they don’t have a
ceremony or paper to back it up, they will consider themselves your wife.

It’s not hard to find a young, beautiful Lao girl. The hard
thing is not to.

By that, I mean, unless you either have a lot of money (for
a minor or major wife and usually both) or you are just absolutely committed to
having a Lao wife, it’s best to keep a distance; you can get close, but do not
touch. A beautiful young girl will make an older man’s head spin; believe me; been there.

There are women and girls who will have sex with you on an
informal basis. These are most always freelancers
who you can find and often find you. You’ll need to have a room where it will
be fun for both of you to enjoy and plenty of cash on hand. Just keep in mind Lao
Family Law:

"Relationship with Lao citizens: Lao law prohibits sexual contact between foreign citizens and Lao nationals except when the two parties have been married in accordance with Lao Family Law. Any foreigner who enters into a sexual relationship with a Lao national risks being interrogated, detained, arrested, or fined. Lao police have confiscated passports and imposed fines of up to $5,000 on foreigners who enter into unapproved sexual relationships. The Lao party to the relationship may be jailed without trial. Foreigners are not permitted to invite Lao nationals of the opposite sex to their hotel rooms; police may raid hotel rooms without notice or consent."

Some interesting comments I’ve read
concerning this law are as follows:

“It isn't enforced so much
nowadays. Back when Vientiane
was a large village rather than a city it was risky to be in the same house in
the evening. Nowadays it's a bit different as the city has grown, along with
foreign investment, meaning a lot more foreigners here."

"Around 8 years ago I was caught
with a Lao girlfriend staying at my place, fined 500USD (after much negotiation)
and held for a few hours in a cell. The stories of being deported etc... are
mainly old barstool fairytales.”

“The law is still in place… and
you still hear of occasional arrests, but it's not as risky as it used to
be.... unfortunately.”

“According
to a foreigner friend residing in Vientiane,
his gf arrives at midnight and leaves before 6 am.”

I’ve also read that if you’re on
the bad side of the police or military, they are apt to watch you, to catch you
violating this law. Also, it’s not just a city thing. There are guys up-country
who make sure to stay on good terms with the local Pooyai Bann
(village headman) for fear he may want to make some kick-back money at your
expense. No matter what you're doing or not, always stay on good terms with your guesthouse manager/owner and all
authorities.

Monday, October 19, 2015

How many times have I climbed these stairs? I think this was
my fifth time going up.

Although it lasted all of about 10 seconds, I’ll never
forget one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life, coming
down these stairs as I was coming up on my first trip here. For all the
good it did me, I still found myself “Looking
Back.”

They spell their bar “Borr
Pen Yang” (alternatively, “Bor Pen Yang”), but I use this expression a lot,
back in The Isaan, and pronounce it: bor pen yong. The differences in
spelling could be due to local accent or transliteration. It means: no problem.

I had been turned on to the Borr Pen Yang by a Falang
forum poster. I had written a simple question, like where do the
freelancers (girls/women for hire; not associated with a particular place of
business) hang out in Vientiane?
Oh, man, did I get a bunch of attack replies insinuating I was a sex tourist or
“sexpat”
and why would I want to ruin Lao like Thailand? Hey, I’m just asking a
question. Chill.

Gettin' some rest at 9 Rai/Bann Nah before going out and rustling me up some babes.

I’ve come to discover – upon personal inspection before the
night life gets under way, here – that this bar has draft Beer Lao and great
views of the Mekong and west end of the Riverside Vendors.

The previous
times I’ve visited the Borr Pen Yang were all during the afternoon, well
before the bar’s prime time. In part, that was on purpose because – at age 66
soon to be 67 – I’m no longer a night person. With some notable exceptions for
rather short periods of time, I haven’t been much of a bar goer, either.

So, here I was operating somewhat out of my comfort zone: I
was moving around at night in a foreign country – in a city, no less; going to
a bar and; looking to check out the freelancers.

It did not take long for a woman in her late 20s to come
join me at my small table at the top of the stairs. I bought her a beer and
although I admired her thinness, command of English and friendliness, I had to
let her know that my guesthouse does not permit non-registered guests inside.
Actually, I found this a good excuse (and true), because the longer I was in
Borr Pen Yang, the more stunning girls kept walking past us. I mean, really,
really beautiful girls and women all made and dressed up for the occasion.

I found myself wishing I could just be in a darkened corner
by myself, to admire the beauties. Instead, I was being politely hustled and it
took some time to extract myself. Next time I’m here, at night, I think I’ll
find that corner over by the pool table…

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Moving off from the Sunset
Bar, along Th Fa Ngoum, going easterly, I stopped at a riverside vendor for
another beer and bar-b-que, rice and veggies. Here, I enjoyed the fading light
of the late afternoon, watching the movement of people and boats along The
Mekong.

Just before sundown, I walked further east, back toward Vientiane’s riverside
epicenter, and stopped in at Samyek Pakpasack. I couldn’t resist. They again
had live acoustic music going on and I remembered how I had enjoyed it here, last
time.

At one point, I toasted – from a distance – one of the older
employees who had sat in on a couple of songs that reminded me of Loso and Pongsit. He came over to my table in a
rush and this is when I met Mr. Tank, who turned out to be the owner or nominal
manager or both. I bought us a Beer Lao and, using my smart phone, showed him
pictures of my wife and new home being built. This was helpful as it gave him
an idea of what kind of guy I was and also gave us something to do, as he was
limited in his English and me in my Lao.

When I decided to leave, Mr. Tank insisted on driving me
back to my guesthouse. I initially thanked him but indicated that I would walk,
but he would have none of it. So, I rode back to the Mixay on the back of Mr.
Tank’s motosai.

As the night was still young and prospects of just hanging
out in my dreary Mixay room didn’t really appeal to me, I decided to go visit
the Borr
Pen Yang during its prime time. The two or three times I had been there
were always in the afternoon and I knew that this bar was geared for the night
time…

Saturday, October 10, 2015

As modest as it is, the Heua
Pae is the Lao capitol’s staging area for the fast-growing jetski market. The floating
restaurant – more a bar, really – has an adjacent section to it where owners
can store their jetski’s, along with a seating area, small performance stage,
and a flat boat (actually, two longtail boats strapped together with a unified
deck ontop) that can go out on the river and be a platform for bar-b-que and
beer.

As I’ve come to consider natural, I was the only Falang around. I was treated
politely, but distantly – nothing like PL2
or even the Savan
Khaim Khong. I ordered my usual 640 ml of Beer Lao, with ice, and sat back
to watch the operation and listen to Carabao.

Similar to what was probably also happening back in Nong
Khai, the Thai city of Sri Chiang Mai
was in the midst of a full day of dragon boat races – the
extremely long row boats that, in the distant past, had been reserved strictly
for royalty.

To watch the races, it’s best to be on the banks of the
river near where the rowers will be stroking. Here I was on the opposite side
of The Mekong. I could see the boats, but the rowers were a bit harder. The
nice thing about being at the distance I was, I could watch the boats from the
beginning of the race to the very end; probably a kilometer or two.

The crew at Heua Pae readied their flatboat, then took it
across The Kong to get a better view of the races and share some BBQ and beer
with the jetski’ers who were out there riding around and watching, too. I doubt
whether they could actually sell the BBQ and beer, it being more or less
international waters, but because of the absence of law enforcement and who’s
gonna know? They probably did some business along with the spectating. Enjoy it
while you can, guys, because before you know it, navies from both countries
will be out there – or, at very least – maritime police to tighten things up.

After my typical song kuat (two bottles) of Beer Lao,
I left Heua Pae, having been there about two hours, enjoying the races and
being out on the Mekong – even if it was only
a glorified raft.

I made my way back towards the city’s riverfront epicenter,
stopping in at the Sunset
Bar along the way. My first impressions of this place were confirmed, this second
time around. But, if you are a Westerner and planning to live in Vientiane for any length
of time, I’d recommend getting to know the guys here. They look well
established, are polite, and friendly with one another.

The place kind of reminded me of a latter version of what
was described in the early days of Vientiane’s
opening to The West, in the 1990s, in the book Another Quiet American, by Brett Dakin.
If you are interested in Lao, visit it, travel through it, or live in the
country, it is a book I recommend reading.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

On my third day of the trip, I crossed the Thai-Lao border
at Nong
Khai and went on to the Lao capitol of Vientiane,
which is the usual destination for most people crossing from Thailand along this first “Friendship
Bridge,”

I didn’t plan to stay long in Vientiane
or Lao, this time around, as I was short on cash. Our new ATM card hadn’t
arrived from the Unites States, yet, so I had had to leave our village with
whatever kip and baht I had loose around.

I checked into the Mixay
Guesthouse this time, as it was a budget/backpacker place across the street
from the usual place I stay – the Duang Deuane. The Mixay is about half the
price, but the next time I stay in Vientiane,
I’ll most likely go back to the Duang Deuane. It’s just a better value and in
case I want to stay in my room, the rooms are nice enough to do that – some
with very good views. The Mixay rooms are really just for sleeping.

Once laundry was done and I had showered and changed
clothes, I walked out to the outdoors eatery a block away, adjacent to the big
tree opposite the Belgian Beer place and the nightclub. The owner recognized me
immediately and invited me to her table. Even so, she was not as friendly as
before. That could be because I had been polite but politely distant when she
introduced me to her woman friend. I had gotten the impression she was
trying to set us up; maybe, maybe not.

I had a 640 ml bottle of Beer Lao, with ice, then moved on
down Th Fa Ngoum, heading westerly. I stopped in at the Borr Pen
Yang, but the sole guy guarding the place was sleeping. Not wanting to
disturb him, I went back
down the stairs and continued my westerly walk.

Passing the Samyek Pakpasack, I remembered my enjoyable time
here, early this year, listening to live music and meeting the two
guys that worked at KP Lao.

Continuing down Th Fa Ngoum, that runs along The Mekong,
at a distance, I passed the Sunset Bar and then where the pavement ends. Being
a person who likes floating restaurants, I was sure there had to be one
somewhere down the road, a little further outside the city’s epicenter.

I was right. Just as my feet were beginning to ache a little
and the afternoon sun was bearing down on me a little too much, I came across
Heua Pae…