Author's Note: Ok, so I browsed this section tonight and I noticed a lack of an important genre of fanfiction...The ever present Mary Sue fic...there's plenty of slash, but none of this soooo...here it is. As Mary Sues are often young, so I figure this fic is set some time pre Clerks.

Summary: This fic will cover your basic Mary Sue plot. New and mysterious beautiful new girl comes to town, and meets a key character, in this case Jay. They fall in love in a ridiculously short period of time, 15 minutes or so, and then proceed to have an exceedingly agnsty relationship. It'll be fun, if you hate Mary Sue fics, you may enjoy this as I have a love/hate relationship with them and this will reflect that.

Disclaimer: I don't own Jay or Silent Bob. I do own Lizzie Connolly...although not really since she's kind of just a standard Mary Sue, which means she cannot be owned.

Mary Sue Aksew:

Chapter 1: A new Girl in Town

Lizzie Connolly sighed
as she walked down the street in Leonardo, New Jersey. She looked
around. Was there nothing in this arm pit she was now living in?
The fifteen year old wondered how it was possible that she was ending
up here.

"Shit Silent Bob,
there's nothing to do around here." Jay stood his back up
against the wall between the Quick Stop and RST Video. "I mean
nothing. No one's buying, and no bitches coming our way either."
Silent Bob gestured with his hand and shrugged to show that he had
no ideas. "I guess we could hit the fucking mall again. There'll
probably be some fine pussy there." Again, Silent Bob shrugged and
the pair started walking down the street.

Lizzie wandered
aimlessly, her grandma had warned her about getting lost, but she
figured that if she could find her way around New York City she would
be OK in Leondardo. She found her way to a street that looked like
it might be inhabited.

"Fucking faggot town,
nothing happening." Jay mumbled under his breath. Silent Bob
rolled his eyes, and then stopped and pointed at the girl walking
towards them. "Shit, that's one fine looking chick Lunchbox.
Never seen her before, wonder who she is." As they walked closer
he was stopped in his track by how beautiful she was.

Lizzie had sparkling
blue eyes that captivated any one who looked into them. She had long
chestnut brown hair that fell down in her back in soft ringlet curls.
She was slender, but not skinny, and had a perfect C cup, which is
what, to be honest, captivated Jay more than her eyes at that point.
She was wearing a blue tank top that complimented her eyes and a pair
of straight legged black jeans. She was a perfect picture of New
York sophistication, totally out of place in her small town
surroundings. As she approached the two guys walking towards her,
she looked them up and down and analyzed them. The chubby one in the
trench coat looked friendly, and terribly sweet. The other one,
tall, lanky, with long blondish hair, seemed to think he was in
charge, but she was pretty sure he was clueless. She decided it
wouldn't hurt to introduce herself, when she was finally close
enough to them to initiate conversation.

"Hi." She said
quietly, "I don't suppose you two would know what a girl who's
new around here could do with herself?"

"I've got a couple
of ideas!" Jay said, motioning to himself. Lizzie was shocked,
not by the proposition, but by his incredible confidence. "I'm
Jay, and this is my hetero life mate, Silent Bob." Silent Bob
waved.

"Lizzie." She
said, realizing there was perhaps more harm in this introduction than
she had initially anticipated. "Look, I just moved here from the
city, and I'm bored out of my mind. What is there to do, I mean
seriously, besides fucking you?" Silent Bob smiled, he liked this
girl already.

"What are you smiling
at you tubby mother fucker?" Jay hit him, "We mostly just hangs
out in front of the Quick Stop. Dealin, makin things hard on the
clerks. Then we'll smoke a blunt, get some beers, normal stuff."
Lizzie smiled, at last some pot, she had been aching for it since
she moved into her grandparent's house.

"Sounds good." She
put one arm through each of the guys standing between them "You
two mind taking a third around with you?" Both Jay and Bob walked
on flabbergasted. They couldn't believe how lucky they were, and
that they had found something, or in this case, some one to help
occupy their time.

Review please...perhaps even give suggestions.

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