Best and Worst Moments of the 2013 Oscars

Host Seth MacFarlane wasn't a total failure: he actually got the perpetually grumpy Best Supporting Actor nominee to crack a smile for the first time all of awards season. Hey, somebody had to! {Photo credit: ABC}

2

WORST: Kristin Chenoweth, What's In The Box?!

ABC

Red carpet interviews are always an exercise in patience and intelligence for both at-home viewers and the stars enduring them, but Kristen Chenoweth took it to new levels. When she wasn't reminding everyone how short she is, she kept making celebs guess what was in a mystery box. It wasn't Gwyneth Paltrow's head, as a few had guessed, but Dorothy's ruby slippers (correctly identified by Anne Hathaway). We would have thought it was Chenoweth's sense of self-awareness. {Photo credit: ABC}

3

BEST: They Could/Should Have Danced All Night

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We'll take any excuse to watch Channing Tatum dance, but watching him dance with fellow sexyperson Charlize Theron during the otherwise ridiculous opening monologue almost felt too good to be true. Can these two star in a Step Up 5: Ballroom Dancing, please? And remind us again why the entire opener wasn't just this gloriousness? {Photo credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images}

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4

WORST: Seth MacFarlane Goes On The Offensive

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Offensive humor walks a fine line. It has to cross that line just enough but still have the smarts to back it up. MacFarlane always edges into dangerous territory with Family Guy, but all of his overtly sexist jokes through the broadcast fell way more on the offensive scale than the even remotely funny scale. Don't worry, Seth. After those jokes and songs about boobs, those nagging women you're complaining about will be more than happy to leave you be. {Photo credit: Kevin Winter/Getty

5

BEST: Shirley Bassey's Still Got It

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Boy, does she ever. The legendary singer belted out her legendary "Goldfinger" theme during the ceremony's James Bond tribute, and it was one of the night's rare goosebump moments. Bassey looked and sounded as stunning as she did back in 1964 when she first sang the classic. All together now: "Goldfingaaaaaaaaahhhhh!" {Photo credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images}

6

WORST: Say Hi To Your Teddy Bear For Me

ABC

Melissa McCarthy and Paul Rudd's awkward presenter banter was arguably worse, but we'll take a robotic Rudd over an animated Ted any day. From a confusing crack about Ed Harris to the use of MacFarlane's patented brand of jokes about Jews, the moment appeased fans of the host and the movie Ted, but no one else. {Photo credit: ABC}

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7

BEST: No B.S., There Was A Tie!:

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Well, this made the Ted bit worth it. While there were some genuine shockers and upsets (like the wins for Christoph Waltz and Ang Lee), the Oscar ceremony got its first real, and much-needed, jolt when there was a tie in the Best Sound Editing category, with Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty (its only Oscar) both earning the prize and making it the sixth tie in Oscar history. The last time it happened was back in 1995. {Photo credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images}

8

WORST: Anne's Dream Is Our Nightmare

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Let's admit something right off the bat: this wasn't halfway as terrible as we were expecting it to be since that Golden Globes fiasco. Still, the Les Mierables star and newly minted Best Supporting Actress winner certainly didn't help extinguish the Hathaway hate when she cooed, "It came true" to her Oscar statuette and dedicated her win to the plight of French and singing prostitutes, all while wearing that dress. {Photo credit: Robyn Beck/Getty Images}

9

BEST: Adele Was Fankful

Chris Pizzello/AP Photo

So what if her performance wasn't as flawless as she is? "Skyfall" is still a great song, Adele is still a great artist, and this is just getting her one step closer to an EGOT. Adele's gracious and adorable acceptance speech for her Best Original Song Oscar made us love her even more. If that's even possible. {Photo credit: Chris Pizzello/AP Photo}

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10

WORST: 'Chicago' F**k Yourself

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Don't get us wrong, Chicago is a damn good musical and one of the more entertaining Best Picture winners of the past decade. But a number from Best Supporting Actress winner Catherine Zeta-Jones, a reunion of the cast (including the artist formerly known as Renee Zellweger), and multiple shout-outs during the show was beyond excessive and trivial. {Photo credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images}

11

BEST: Babs Was Fabs

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Barbra Streisand sang the schmaltzy, but beloved theme "The Way We Were" during a tribute to the late, great Marvin Hamlisch and we were all verklempt. Not only was it a performance worthy of Hamlisch's talents, but one that reminded us of how much we love (and miss) classic Hollywood. {Photo credit: Mark Davis/WireImage}

12

WORST: Life of... WHY?!

Chris Pizzello/AP Photo

The idea of using the menacing score from Jaws as the music to play off overlong speeches is funny in theory. In execution, it was a mean-spirited, moment-killing gag that cut Bill Westenhofer and his 'Life of Pi' visual effects team short as they were making a plea for the financially troubled effects company Rhythm and Hues. {Photo credit: Chris Pizzello/AP Photo}

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13

BEST: Documentary Short Winner Is A Big Inspiration

Chris Pizzello/AP Photo

Inocente, Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine's documentary short about a homeless teen-turned-visionary artist, may have won the Oscar, but it was the appearance of their subject on the stage that was the real winner: the visibly touched and stunned Inocente who made us all believe in the power of art and artists at the Oscars. {Photo credit: Chris Pizzello/AP Photo}

14

WORST: Avengers Assemble, Or Something

Mark Davis/WireImage

So what we took away from this is that Robert Downey, Jr. as a too-coo-for-school egomaniac definitely isn't an act, right? Most of The Avengers cast (Scarlett Johansson and Chris Hemsworth were noticeably missing) assembled to present, but their scripted banter was filled with more exhausted silences than their post-credits dinner in the summer smash. {Photo credit: Mark Davis/WireImage}

15

BEST: Falling For J. Law

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Jennifer Lawrence's Dior gown could have tripped up the most coordinated of us, but this thing took down Katniss herself. The Silver Linings Playbook star took a tumble up the steps on the way to earn her Best Actress Oscar (perfect gentleman Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman both ran to her rescue), but made a perfect recovery with a joke and a lovely speech. Would you expect any less from America's sweetheart? {Photo credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images}

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16

WORST: One Day More of Russell Crowe

Chris Pizzello/AP Photo

So you made it through all of Les Mis, despite Russell Crowe's clunky turn as Javert? Too bad, because the Oscars are going to make you endure the trauma one day more. The Oscar-winning actor joined his singing cohorts on the stage for a number from the show. As soon as he opened his mouth, we remembered the worst part of the film. At least they spared us from more extreme close-ups. {Photo credit: Chris Pizzello/AP Photo}

17

BEST: Daniel Day-Lewis: Wise Guy

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Lincoln star Daniel Day-Lewis is such a method actor, he transformed into the hilarious, humble Oscar host we'd been waiting for all night. While accepting the third Best Actor Oscar of his career, DDL delivered the night's funniest zinger (he cracked that he and presenter Meryl Streep were supposed to play each other's respective roles in Lincoln and The Iron Lady) and gave yet another brilliant, humble speech. {Photo credit: Christopher Polk/Getty Images}

18

WORST: You're a Loser, Baby

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Chenoweth book-ended her night of awfulness when she and MacFarlane performed a cringe-inducing show-closer about all the Oscar losers. The only thing worse than having your dream crushed and not getting a coveted Oscar? Listening to Kristin Chenoweth and Seth MacFarlane call you a loser. {Photo credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images}

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19

BEST: Ben Awwwww-fleck

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Ben Affleck may have been snubbed in the Best Director race, but his film Argo won Best Picture, allowing him to take the Oscar stage for the first time since 1997. The teary-eyed star, who has been put through the ringer in Hollywood, had some wonderful things to say to his wife and children, but it was these wise words that stuck with us the most: "It doesn't matter if you get knocked down in life, what matters is that you've got to get back up." {Photo credit: Robyn Beck/Getty Images

20

Honorable Mention: FLOTUS Appears!

ABC

Take that, Golden Globes! You get Bill Clinton, we're gonna get First Lady Michelle Obama to announce the Academy Award for Best Picture. Now, conspiracy theorists would have gone absolutely nuts had the FLOTUS called Zero Dark Thirty as Best Picture, but after delivering an eloquent speech about the power of movies, Mrs. Obama named the expected winner Argo. Can you win Best Dressed via satellite? {Photo credit: ABC}