24. Lark: “Sephiroth…*many* people signed this?” Sephiroth: *nods* “Many.” Lark: “I see two. You and Twilight.” Sephiroth: “What?! Are you crazy?! Practically everyone in the ramble room signed it!” Lark: “Really? And practically everyone has the same handwriting that exactly matches yours? Or spells their own name wrong?” Sephiroth: *mutters* “Dammit, Twilight.”

23. Dracula: “I think pinwheels are cuddly!” *pause* “Did someone mention a kitty? Alucard, didn’t we used to have one of those? And didn’t I eat it?” *bursts into tears* “That poor kitty!!! It tasted so good!!”

21. Dante: “I wasn’t cheating! Me and Gippal have this thing where I kiss him for luck before he goes after a guy! That’s what it was! He wanted to get with Irvine’s brother!” Sephiroth: “Oh yeah? Which one?” Dante: “I don’t know! One named after a city!” Sephiroth: “That’s like all of them!”

20. Irvine: “………You’re just going out with some dude you met on the way to the bathroom?” Trini: “Yeah…so what?” Irvine: “You don’t even know him! He could be an axe murderer or somethin’!” Trini: “Irvine?! Are you kidding me! Didn’t you meet a girl while you were *in* the bathroom once?” Irvine: “I stumbled into the wrong one by accident, but that’s besides the point!”

19. Lark: “At five o’clock in the morning? Where exactly are we going?” Shell: “To a guy in an alley who only works under the cover of darkness. Where else would Ashley have gotten her Playstation in the first place?” Ashley: “Hey! He has a legitimate business!” Shell: “You’re kidding, right? It’s called Five Finger Electronics for a reason. And the reason isn’t that he’s got five fingers.”

18. Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! That all you can eat buffet will curse the day they opened! Gya haa haa!”

17. Shadow: “I don’t do hugs. You might try to stab me.”

16. Algus: “What exactly is a scrapbook? It sounds like something a beggar chooses his clothes from.”

15. Reno: “Hold up a minute! Is this song about sex?” Irvine: “What! No way! It’s about havin’ fun in the afternoon!” Reno: “Yeah – by having sex!” Irvine: “What?! No!” Reno: “’The thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting’?! What does that sound like to you? Going fishing?!” Irvine: *pales* “Oh god.”

13. Nida: “Ew! Ants aren’t food! They’re bugs! People don’t eat bugs!” Trent: “Yes they do. Plenty of people all over the world eat bugs.” Nida: “No they don’t! People hate bugs! That’s why they make bug spray to kill them! Nobody eats bugs! Nobody! You’re a big liar!” Trent: “I am not lying! How dare you! You think I would ever make up these types of stories?!” Scarlet: “Shut up, Nida. If he made them up they’d probably be entertaining.”

12. Snake: “You’d have to drop a lot of porn mags for the terrorists to overlook that sorry excuse for box sneaking!”

11. Reno: “…You know what we have to do at a time like this?” Seifer: “Go and cry to our stuffed animals…uh…that we totally don’t have cuz we’re grown men.”

10. Red: “This movie about the planet Uranus is supposed to very interesting.” Barret: “Yo, baa baa black sheep! Don’t be callin’ planets insultin’ names!” Red: “…Uranus is the name of the planet, you buffoon.” Barret: “Yo! Don’t be tryin’ to trick me into thinkin’ they named a planet after parta yo’ ass!”

9. Otacon: “I think girls with glasses are hot.” Quistis: “You look like you still live at home with your mother.” Otacon: “I so don’t! She lives with *me*!”

8. Ashley: “I can understand the Alucard thing, but forget about Sephiroth. He called you a bitch in front of everyone!” Shell: “And for once you didn’t even deserve it!”

7. Richter: “I know! I know why you’re mad at me! You’re mad about the wedding!” Tifa: “Wow! And it only took you two hours to guess! And most of those guesses had to do with me being mad at you for not being dedicated enough to fighting vampires!” Richter: “That’s a very valid reason to be angry.”

6. Tseng: “Hi, Alucard. Sorry I called your house. I tried your cell, but it just went straight to voicemail.” Alucard: “It’s dead just like my father is to me!”

4. Worker 2: *pulls a bratz game off the shelf* “This is a good game for girls.” Ashley: *pauses* “…Wow. You know what else is a good game? Trying to restrain myself from killing you. It’s a hard one, though.”

3. Ashley: “I’m glad no one saw us.” Shell: “At 5 a.m? Even Irvine and Reno have passed out by now!”

2. Uncle Herb: “Plus you can make extra money by recruiting more vampires!” Algus: “I do like earning more money… But I’ve heard bad things about vampires. Such as you can’t be in the sunlight, you must sleep in a coffin and you won’t be able to see yourself in a mirror.” Uncle Herb: “You won’t miss any of those things! You can still go outside when it’s cloudy or dark out! And you’d be surprised how comfortable coffins are these days!” Algus: “Hmm… I don’t know…” Uncle Herb: “Did I mention you can turn into a bat? Talk about easy transportation!” Algus: “No more mirrors…?” Zidane: *rolls eyes* “Oh just do it, Algus. You’re already a soulless monster anyway.”

2.

Atsuma: “Uh…I’m pretty sure I was just talking about going to get a hamburger, but…maybe I’m wrong.”

Algus: “You’re not allowed to go off on your own! You’re my slave!”

Atsuma: “Okay…so you wanna come with?”

Algus: “No! Are you not grasping the concept of being a slave? You are *my* slave! Therefore you can only do what *I* tell you! You cannot go off on your own whenever you feel like it!”

Atsuma: “Ohhhhh! I get it! So you don’t want me wandering off by myself without telling you first! That’s cool! Toya makes me tell him where I’m going too. ‘Cause sometimes I get lost and he has to come find me.”

This is it. Seriously.

These are my rambles. I don't write them anymore. They were insane and crazy fun to write, but they are over.
However.
I can't seem to take them off the internet. So here they rest, for the long foreseeable future, for anyone who still might get a chuckle out of them.

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