qjraven8 - I can't tell if you knew this or not in your reply; I never got to see my son alive. I had a c-section and as a result, he died before I was in recovery. He died in my husband's arms, but I never got to see his eyes either.

Re: my earlier post on back pain

Okay, now I want my baby to STAY IN FOR A LITTLE BIT. I injured my pelvis today (I am NOT saying why because people will yell at me). I did this to myself when I was pregnant with my daughter and I didn't run again until she was eight months old. I needed help to go to the bathroom for over a month. I REFUSE to let it be that bad again. It can't be, therefore it won't be. I just need a week or two to get through the worst part: BABY DON'T COME OUT YET. I need some recovery time!

My edd is tomorrow! I'm excited to be 40w pregnant The longest I've ever been pregnant is 37 weeks. I'm definitely trusting baby's timing and my body too. It's too bad nobody else does. I'm tired of everyone asking if I've had this baby yet. I have one friend (I know she only means well) that calls pretty much everyday to see if I've had the baby. The last time I saw her in person (Wed, for sushi yumm!) she told me "I don't want to know anything until you've had the baby" because she doesn't want to be worried about me while I'm having the baby at home. Yeah, like she was going to get the I'm in labor call anyway . The only people I'm calling are my mw and my mom and sister (and DH if he's at work, of course). Everyone else can wait until we're ready to annouce baby! This friend also called me when I was 36 weeks and asked why I wasn't getting induced already :

I belong to a mom's group that is made up of a lot of homebirther's, and even a few of them are asking what I've been doing to get labor going. To be honest, absolutely nothing! I haven't even dtd with DH lately, but we'll be starting that up again soon . One mom asked me yesterday when I was going to use castor oil. I'm not even passed my due date yet!!!

Hello again... and thanks for the welcome..
On the topic of getting labor going... I've been using evening primrose oil--puncturing a couple of gelatin caps full of it and sticking them where the sun don't shine (I can't reach my actual cervix, since there's a big baby head in the way)--once a day. I've only done it twice, with my midwife's ok--and I just got told to stop. I wound up in the maternity ward AGAIN with a pretty rigid abdomen... it was like the neverending contraction, and I was getting nervous that something was wrong. (my nervous overtired brain thought my uterus had ruptured or something.) They hooked me up to the monitor and said it looked like I was having 'uterine irritability' and the nurse suspected the evening primrose oil & the midwife told me to stop using it. My nurse suggested going home and having lots of sex instead. OK!!

So anyway... I guess I'm REALLY leaving well enough alone now. The upside is--I am now at least 1 cm dilated (she got her whole finger through my cervix and tickled Teddy's head, and even my little finger is more than 1 cm wide). Also, I seem to have lost my mucus plug during my exam yesterday (when I was so sure my labor was progressing... oh well). contractions haven't stopped, just gotten farther apart again (7 min)... good & strong & lasting a minute when they do happen though. Sorry to ramble... I'm just getting pretty emotionally exhausted & physically wiped out, since this early labor stuff has been going on for a couple of days now, & ANY progress makes me want to tapdance. Thanks & good luck to all...

babs, guess i wasnt payin enough attention and misunderstood, but we both know what the loss of a dear child feels like so once again to you. also to both you and darla for the back pain, i've had my share of it but doesnt sound like anything you two are dealing with!

want to send a to everyone here ... we're almost there, almost able to hold our little loves in our arms we can do it!!!!

qjraven8 and littleteapot~ I just wanted to send big and peaceful vibes your way! LTP~ I really hope that you can find something that will make you more comfortable for the duration of your pregnancy. Back pain sucks!!!

absolutely... qjraven8 and littleteapot, hugs and best wishes to both of you. I cannot imagine the strength it would take to get through what you have both been through. I will be thinking of you both until those little people are out & squalling!

LTP (and Darla), with chronic pain you're probably up on this already, but have you thought about visualization for pain & relaxation? Before major surgery on my foot 5 yrs ago (for a birth defect that had me in chronic pain) I started visualizing my favorite kayaking spot... it really did help me to have a place in my mind to 'go away' when my body was just giving me too much to handle after surgery. (I'm planning on using it in labor, too.)

Well I may have started loosing my mucus plug... MAYBE... I can't be sure... There was just a bit of yellowy mucus... So nothing to celebrate yet... But possibly the start......? I really do wish it was just like in movies where your water breaks and you go into labour - No confusion nothing...! How much easier would that be!!

UGGG!!! I ahve started having the little bits of yellowy mucus too. I guess it is something, but still nothing to get really excited over

And for me last time it was just like the movies. My water broke & about 1.5 hrs later my ctx started & 9 hrs later my son was born. It was great, but I think that is what is makeing it so much harder to be patient this time. Well that & the fact that it happened 17 days before my edd based on conception.

However DH's wisdom tooth strated causing him ALOT of pain this weekend so now I am really hoping baby waits a bit longer, at least until DH can get his tooth pulled & start feeling better. He has an appt today so hopefully they can just yank it today: I know that sounds bad, but he is really hurting & I don't think either of us could deal with me being in labor or having a newborn while he is feeling like this.

I asked in my mainstream expecting club for women who are trusting baby's timing, refusing induction, or just not getting one... EVERY SINGLE RESPONSE so far has been, "well, I trust my doctor" or, "I want an induction"
That's not what I asked - NO ONE CAN READ!

So far there's a dozen births or more, almost all of which were elective cesareans or inductions.

I have this little problem. My dd1 went to 43 weeks, and so this time I told myself I wasn't going to get into that silly little game of "Was that a contraction?" every time I have a bit of gas etc. Better yet, I wasn't even going to expect labour before 42 weeks. BUT, I am only today 38 weeks, and I have started that despite my best intentions! I have been having pretty intense prodromal labour every night for about 3-4 hours. It always starts when I stop for the day, and goes away when I go to sleep. Every time I get all emotionally hyped that I am going into labour, even though I know in my heart. I can't say I get disappointed that it's not labour, or feel let down or like my body doesn't know what it's doing. I know what it's doing: practicing, getting ready, etc. I just feel like I wish there were a chance I would go into labour a bit early, I know babe is big and healthy, I'm uncomfortable etc. So, let's just say I trust baby's timing, I'm just impatient!

And did dh come 'round to realize that it would be better to wait and not induce?

Hoping that all is well with the whole situation!

**
Here, things are fine. I'm making apple butter right now, and have been cutting out some patterns for clothing (hopefully will get them sewn before baby arrives too, but cutting the patterns out is the pits so at least that will be done) -- I'm making a jumper with zippers in the sides, that I can wear at Christmas Eve mass - and a matching dress for Ina.

My back aches (lower back) from bending over the table - I think. I don't think it's anywhere near labor, but apple butter takes so long to cook down it would totally figure if I went into labor midway through it! Har.

My "To Do" list is getting shorter though, and that's good. Hoping that it's completely finished (and I'm bored) before Baby arrives.... I think I've got all the "absolutely MUST get done" things completed ... except that I haven't done a birth plan (didn't do one with Ina, but dh is really worried he'll forget one of his "jobs," so it would be as much for him as for the hospital I suppose ).... And am now making sure the dishes are all washed every night, nothing left soaking.

Tomorrow will be 10 days out from the due date, which is when Ina was born. -- I do NOT feel ready yet, I hope this little one wants to cook a bit longer.

Have received another "are you still pregnant?" phone call. DH is always surprised that that's why they're calling (Oh, really, that's why she called? I thought she just wanted to talk! But then he's the one who called our friends several days after the due date to check on them (despite me telling him not to)).

Ok... my to do list is done too. We finished painting the room and all the clothes are clean and in the drawer. I hung up pics today that I have been waiting 2 years to do. (we were waiting to finish painting)
My fridge and freezer are stocked. I probably haven't been this prepared ever for anything besides Hurricane Andrew in 93. Now, I wait. Wish I could focus on school. Better get with the program 'cause my first exam is next week. My time off of work is limited so, I want to spend as much time with her as possible before I have to go back.
She knows what is best! 38 weeks today...

I am now in the fourth day of prodromal or early labor, depending on your choice of language. the OB in my practice (I am delivering with the MW) informs me this is not labor. More on that in a second.

We just recorded an outgoing message that 'says something like 'yes, we're still pregnant, no, we're not answering the phone, thanks for your care & concern, we'll call you back if you leave a message saying you're on fire or something, otherwise we just don't want to talk about it.' When not fielding frantic phone calls from my mother who thought I should be in labor by now or from friends who assume I've had the baby, I spent all day hula hooping on the $*&^ birth ball, walking, leaning over, bellydancing, you name it... best I got was 60-90 second contractions every 3 minutes for a couple of hours, but since I'm not hanging onto the furniture and I can still talk through them, my midwife/ob aren't interested. Actually, I talked to the OB today and he claimed that you can't have a 90 second contraction, so it 'must have been something else.' Also, he informed me that a baby's head 'can't' move once it has descended... and went on to tell me what a contraction would feel like. SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE A CERVIX, BUDDY? Want me to MAKE YOU ONE!!???

This is why I'm delivering with the midwife. This is definitely the guy you want to see if you need surgery, but he has the bedside manner of a... a.... jerk.
I decided the best thing for me to do is eat all the junk food I can hold and pretend I'm not due for another month. Unfortunately, I have to go see the ?*(&& on thursday... my midwife is on 'vacation' at her house. (though she will come in if I go into labor) I get a biophysical profile & non stress test on the 18th; if all is well, they wait another week before they talk induction. That would make me a full 43 weeks.

I am very glad they are not induction-happy; that's why I chose the practice. But what about some compassion? I didn't call saying I wanted to be induced. I called saying I am exhausted and I think I'm losing my mind!! All I wanted was some support or SOMETHING. Oh well, I guess that's why I have a husband and a doula. My doula deserves a friggin' raise, that's all I have to say. So does my husband.

I'm not mad at my baby. I'm pissed at the doctor. I'm just not sure how somebody who doesn't even have any of this anatomy can be so sure in his 'nevers' and 'alwayses.' I just don't want to wind up giving birth in the car on the way to the hospital (which happened to a friend's sister last week) because some bozo doesn't think I could be in active labor because I can still talk during a contraction--even if I have told him I have a very high pain tolerance. To hell with it. At this point, I'd just as soon have my baby delivered by my friend the EMT who lives down the road, which is what will happen if I don't make it to the hospital.

Sanguine -
I'm not sure that I ever lost the ability to speak during contractions with Ina? Towards the end (8-9 cm) I might have focused on the contraction instead of reminding dh (who was chatting with the nurse/OB) that I was having one .... but I think I could've talked if I wanted to? And this was with unmedicated back labor.

Review your lit (if you haven't yet) -- and watch for some of the other signs too. When we went in, we were contracting more frequently, but way shorter than they thought we ought (they thought they'd just send us home) -- I think I was contracting every 4-5 minutes, not regularly - but they were only 30 second contractions. I was 5 1/2 cm when we arrived, and delivered 4 hours later. Baby hadn't even dropped 'til almost delivery time either.

I wonder how many NCBs the ob has done? Maybe he's just not familiar with an unmedicated labor at all? That would surprise me though since there's a midwife with the practice ... although maybe all the NCB labors go to her?

Well... he's been in practice for 30+ years, and is a destination doc for people with breech babies trying to avoid c-sections... the whole practice is geared toward unmedicated births. I think he's just kind of a dork.

My midwife is great, and the nurses are fantastic. The nurse I saw sunday is on call again tomorrow starting at 7 (it's the second smallest hospital in Maine... they don't staff unless they have patients on the unit). I know I can call her for some sympathy & support, and if SHE thinks I should come get checked, she'll tell me!

Thanks for the reality check!! Right now, I just needed someone to tell me I wasn't insane!

It's amazing what some males think they understand... My friend (guy friend) was telling me a while ago that pregnant woman over react when talking about the pain they feel with contractions etc... I was like "No uterus - NO OPINION!!!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by maciascl

UGGG!!! I have started having the little bits of yellowy mucus too. I guess it is something, but still nothing to get really excited over

Thats just it, it sounds like OooOOoooh!! Somethings happening!! But really it's nothing major at all

Quote:

Originally Posted by maciascl

And for me last time it was just like the movies. My water broke & about 1.5 hrs later my ctx started & 9 hrs later my son was born.

I'm so jelous : I keep panicing that I'm not going to know when I'm in labor until it's too late.

I'm so sorry for you mamas who have lost babies in the past, especially so far on BIG to all of you and sending peaceful vibes

Todays been a crap day. I'm sore and tired.... And I know this thread is dedicated to being patient and trusting your body and it's timing etc but I don't think I want baby to come out yet... Everything around me is such a mess at the moment that she's better in I think.... I don't know. I think I need to curl up under a rock for the next century. :

(P.S. sorry for being negative... I know this is meant to be a positive thread but I had to vent )

On the mucous plug front: with my first I lost a big hunk of it around 32 weeks - but went to 41. I lost the MAJOR amount the first night of labour with her, AFTER The contractions had been going on for 4+ hours. I went to the bathroom, wiped, and it was like a giant baseball of snot had been thrown at my vagina. Totally disgusting. It was clear, too - not pink at all.

With my second I went to the bathroom one day in a Starbucks in my late 20-something weeks and saw a huge amount, but it was kind of brownish tinged. Now, it was a HUUUGGGEEE amount, even though it had that distinct "old blood" colour to it. So I knew it was my plug, but that part didn't really make sense.
I continued losing MASSIVE hunks of it, sometimes pinkish, most of the time not, every single day until I finally had him at 34 weeks. I made it to 5cm dilated before labour ever started.

This time? Nuthin'.
I can't even REACH my cervix to check. I can barely touch it, so I know it's soft and thinning - but that's pretty normal for me anyway. There's a part of me that REALLY wants to be able to feel my cervix and know exactly what it's doing, at all times, and then there's another part of me that says it's really good that I don't - because I'd only get myself either worked up or upset. Ignorance is bliss!! (I just need to keep telling myself that).

feel like i'm on pins and needles. last preg i didnt lose my plug, no waters breakin, nuthin!!! at 39wks, my cervix was quite high, still quite hard and not dialated at all! ended up being induced, started with something to soften the cervix which started the cx, and within 10hrs of the whole process being started, he had been birthed ... thinkin that was pretty quick. so, i mostly know what the whole process feels like, at least when induced (MAN! talk about cx on top of cx when it all snowballed, they broke my water and started pitocin at the same time which i think was way too much all at once!!!) so, i really have no idea what to expect my body to do when its allowed to happen on its own. i have plenty of bh but still no loose mucus, no painful cx and when i had an internal exam a couple weeks ago - same time as my gbs test (neg )- nuthin, nada, zilch .... really happy that my mw is not internal exam happy though!!! didnt even mention it this last visit
oh, i want to meet my baby soooooo bad!!! universe!, please send me patience

feel like i'm on pins and needles. last preg i didnt lose my plug, no waters breakin, nuthin!!! at 39wks, my cervix was quite high, still quite hard and not dialated at all! ended up being induced, started with something to soften the cervix which started the cx, and within 10hrs of the whole process being started, he had been birthed ... thinkin that was pretty quick. so, i mostly know what the whole process feels like, at least when induced (MAN! talk about cx on top of cx when it all snowballed, they broke my water and started pitocin at the same time which i think was way too much all at once!!!) so, i really have no idea what to expect my body to do when its allowed to happen on its own. i have plenty of bh but still no loose mucus, no painful cx and when i had an internal exam a couple weeks ago - same time as my gbs test (neg )- nuthin, nada, zilch .... really happy that my mw is not internal exam happy though!!! didnt even mention it this last visit
oh, i want to meet my baby soooooo bad!!! universe!, please send me patience

This could be me exactly. I haven't gone into labor on my own, induced with DD 10 days past EDD. I do remember with her a coulple of times having a really short stint with light contractions, mostly after having my membranes stripped. No definite signs at all this time (as of now 9 days past EDD). I was checked (by request) on Monday and I'm only 1cm dialated, -1station. She said my cervix is really smushy though . I'm trying (and failing miserably) not to think about the 42 weeks mark. My beloved MW is actually the apprentice midwife right now because she hasn't done any homebirth's before. So her partner is the licensed MW. Her partner is very "by the book" and not someone I would have ever chosen, although she is a very nice woman. She informed me that anything past 42 weeks is outside their comfort zone. Having a baby in a hospital is outside of my comfort zone. We did a non-stress test on Monday, and of course the wee one is fine-just a bit sleepy. If the baby isn't here by Friday we will talk about "options". Whatever that means. Something involving an ultrasound. If I am still pregnant and babe seems fine I have a feeling my MW will fight for me to be able to deliver at home, but the other MW has the final say so. I am really nervous, and I'm not really open to opting for a UC. But I am doing my best to encourage this wee one to come into the world, talks every night about how fun it will be. How he has a wonderful big sister to come out and play with and it will be such a great time... Chin up for now. I am trying to push the dreaded "time limit" out of my head...can you guys hold my hand for just a minute?

Piper's Mama, consider your hand held! And thanks to all of you for the empathy. I feel better today, though paradoxically I also feel worse, since I had massive insomnia and am running on 5 hours of sleep, with a huge headache. But crappy supermarket hash browns and some trashy reading should clear that right up! (strange how someone who usually buys organic whenever possible can so enjoy filling a shopping cart full of totally non-nutritive crap! As I was checking out at the IGA last night, with fudge pinwheels, microwave popcorn, stouffer's welsh rarebit and hungry man pot pie, I told the checkout women "if I have to be this pregnant, I'm going to eat whatever the hell I want!" They practically carried me out of the store on their shoulders, cheering.)

I was totally not ready to surrender yesterday morning... but today, I've decided to just start thinking of 43 weeks as my due date, so I'll be pleasantly surprised if anything happens sooner. And I'm not letting myself think too much about my 'ideal' birth... since at 43 weeks, even in this pretty laid-back practice, you get induced. I am just going to have faith in my ability to make the experience as safe and comfortable as possible, no matter what. And in my mind a doctor is basically a medical/surgical tool... I have a doula, who is the best tool for her job, and a midwife, who is the best tool for her job, and, should I need it, this doctor is the best tool for that job. I still maintain that *I* am the tool operator, and I'm going to do my best not to lose sight of that.

I hope you can all relax today! Try not answering the phone. I am really enjoying that.

just wanted to pop in and show some support for my fellow waiting mamas!

i'm either a few days past or a few days from my EDD (i have 2- a week apart). i haven't hit the complaining stage yet, mostly because i don't have anything to complain about. : haven't had prodromal labor and i'm not any less comfortable then i was last month, really.
but with my last DD's birth, i had like 9hrs of prodromal labor the day before she was born (11pm-8am light contractions about 15mins apart, just enough to keep me awake) and man did that suck! so i feel your pain, sanguine! after getting no sleep that night my DH stayed home from work and i dosed myself with valerian and skullcap and slept until almost dinnertime!

i really really hate all the time constraints put on pregancy and labor. does the baby have a calendar and a watch in there with them? um, no. babies come when babies come. now that we've past the full moon i'm shooting for an equinox birth! anyone else want to join me? it's only 10 more days away... what's 10 more days?

*mama to c 2/2000, v 2/2004, p 9/2006, and h 12/2012*

one of the mamas behind BeanTreeBaby.com ...Gear for Growing Families!

alright, who wants to hear me rant?
yesterday DH got an email from a friend (not a very close friend, FWIW) who is due tomorrow, i think, with her first. anyway, we hadn't talked to her in about a month so she was checking in to see if i had the baby yet, etc. then she goes on to say that she saw her OB that day and that they are scheduling her for an induction monday if her babe hasn't shown up by then because he's measuring a bit over 8lbs and they don't want to risk her having to have a c-sect. : and i have another friend (who's on these boards : ) expecting twins who's 34 or 35wks and today one of her OBs told her that they would be scheduling her c-sect at her visit next week... just because they don't want to risk anything happening. i just don't even know what to say... WTF is wrong with these doctors?
ARGHHHHHH.
the state of maternity care in our country is so out of whack. i am so very thankful for homebirthing right about now.

*mama to c 2/2000, v 2/2004, p 9/2006, and h 12/2012*

one of the mamas behind BeanTreeBaby.com ...Gear for Growing Families!

I had a minor panic attack last night worrying that I will go well past 42 weeks & end up in the hospital being induced or c-sect. I know this is crazy since I am not even really due until Sunday, but I can't help it. DS was born 17 days early so I feel like I am 'late' already.

I do trust that my baby will come when he is ready, but it is getting harder & harder to wait calmly. I am starting to get uptight & nervous, even cranky, which I haven't been until recently. I don't like feeling like this & poor DS ends up getting the worst of it. I am not a very good toddler mommy right now:

Cheryl, none of us are very good toddler mommies right now, I think! There's another thread on here about it...

I'm certainly not doing that great with my very spirited 3 year old!! I console myself by repeating that it WILL get easier. Once I have more mobility, less pain, I'll be less cranky. When I can just strap a newborn to my body and nurse the day away I'll be a WAY better person than my hugely pregnant self.

hello all, usually would be sleeping right now as just moved to third shift at work.... havent had any signs of anything yet ... til the day of my baby shower (today) and i keep waking up to cx. having a hard time believing its the real deal. no loss of plug yet ... but of course they're waking me up!!! of course i also dont have my bag packed for the hosp - no home birth for me at this point - so, i thought i'd get up for a few and see if that made a difference. really want some sleep as i'm quite tired :
of course i've been saying i'm getting impatient ... but now am slightly worried its just a little too soon ... so many things to do still!!! PLUS, my best friend is to be there at the hosp for me and she's at a wedding today (no cell phone) and something else going on before we have my shower!!
but, i'm really aiming at trusting my body and my baby ... and the universe's timing!

I'm personally feeling way better today. I think I'm starting to get excited and eager for birth, and this is big for me because previously I was terrified to give birth. My husband said to me the other day that he's proud of how well I'm doing this time, because with DD I was WAY obsessed with my due date and really freaking when I didn't have her before it. With this one I'm eager, but not pushing it like I was with her. It felt really good to have DH say that!

Ahhh I need this thread today! I never thought I'd be so anxious to have this baby!!! And I really wasn't expecting to feel so impatient so soon after my due date. It doesn't help that everyone keeps asking if I've had the baby yet or when I think the baby is coming or how far my Dr. is going to "let" me go before they induce. Ummm I'm having a homebirth with a midwife. She's going to "let" me go until the baby comes out!!!:

Yesterday and today I've been all about trying some natural induction (ha!) techniques. Then I realized that I don't really want to do that. I know my baby knows when it's ready to come. I just need to let my mind off the hook and take it as it comes. I've had the 19th stuck in my head for quite a while now and I can't get over that this baby just might not be ready tomorrow. It's ok if s/he's not. I'm not going to be pregnant forever! I just want to meet this babe and find out if it's a boy or girl. Everything is ready. I just went through the house and cleaned a few things that have been bugging me. There's more stuff I can do, but honestly I don't want the house to be completely spotless because once the baby comes I won't be able to keep it up and it will drive me crazy. As long as everything is clean and put away I'm happy!

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant! I just need to remember that my baby knows when it's supposed to be born and that I'm not going to be pregnant forever!!

I wanted to share what I NEVER have before:
When I was pregnant with my daughter, and overdue, I was really impatient. I woke up disappointed every morning when I hadn't gone into labour, and went to bed praying I'd go into labour. I pushed her hard, emotionally, and sent her constant messages that I did not want her in there.

The night I went into labour, I tried nipple stimulation for over two hours straight. I started with irregular contractions and eventually went into 44 hours of hard, non-progressive labour. It ended in a natural, vaginal birth - but it was hard.
My daughter, who is now three, has proven to be the type to NEVER be told what to do. Ever. Not unless I want a war of the worlds. I believe that, among some other reasons, this was why she took so long to come out: I tried to push her and she dug her heels in for two solid days until the day she was MEANT to come out on.

I never told anyone that because I was a little ashamed that I'd tried to push her, and my body, when neither were ready. At least she taught me something important!