I propped my chin in my left hand, feigning an expression of mild interest to cover my right hand casually loosening the lid on the bottle of sriracha sauce, just in case.

"A [deleted] spade is a [deleted] spade and I'm not going to call it a 'ding ding ching how' just because some gook handed it to me." So saying, the gentleman promptly shoveled a large amount of the green paste onto a chip, popped it into his pie-hole and chewed with emphasis.

I'd like to say that I was a big enough man that I didn't smile happily at him when he blinked, coughed, and then shot fluorescent green goo out his left nostril.

But I'd be lying.

If the old boy had a case of the hips towards "multiculturalism", one would have to wonder what the hell he was doing in a Chinese restaurant owned by a Vietnamese clan and employing Mexican cooks to serve Japanese sushi and American BBQ chicken for patrons of various European and African descents? Not to mention insulting a Maltese-American of Scottish and Mohawk ancestry?

Hell, that's practically the United Nations right there.

Ah, well.

Apparently a nasal lavage of Japanese horseradish is not conducive to a Proper Dining Experience, because the gentleman and his lady friend left ... probably about the time his vision cleared enough for him to drive.

Heh.

I am reminded of this nasty little episode because yesterday I was drifting through Intake and guess who was hanging off the bars in the Detox tank slurring threats and curse-words at Detention Staff like an intoxicated gibbon?

Yeppers.

I probably didn't help matters much when I stopped and asked him if he'd figured out the difference between guacamole and wasabi yet.

Guacamole at a Sushi joint...multiculturalism really evaded this guy. That is a hilarious story, and karma is a b*tch eh. Glad he popped that whole thing into his mouth and immediately suffered the consequences of being an ass hat.

And someone needs to teach that guy some manners and what it means to be a real man. I would say that boy could of used a good ol' fashioned whooping, but I guess that is what the wasabi did to him!

I love a good Karmanic slap to the head. Like the moronic kids in the Supra that went blasting down the shoulder past stopped traffic never realizing the car two ahead of mine was a State Trooper. He flipped on his lights & had them pulled over almost instantly. The rest of us got to file slowly by laughing & waving. I yelled a hearty "Thanks Officer!" as I went by. The punk driver was trying to scrunch down & disappear under the floor mats. It was wonderful.

Happened to a friend of mine at a buffet once. He had no idea what it was, so instead of asking me (or any of half a dozen other friends of his who were also present) what the green paste was, he grabbed a handful and chowed down. Took three of us to stop him from trying to drown himself in a nearby fountain, heh.

And then there was the time the totally Anglo Spanish 101 class treated themselves to dinner at the local nosheria, and the teacher, displaying his superior knowledge of Cuisine Espanol, thought the salsa verde was soup.....LawMom

This reminded me of a story a college friend told me in the late 70s. .While visiting Kansas City for his brother’s wedding, thieves broke into his car and stole his stereo. Ordinarily, this would be the end of the story but a few weeks later, an officer called my friend to report that they found the bunch who broke into his car, stolen his stereo and sold it for drugs. One will note the use of the word “found” as opposed to words like “arrested” or “apprehended”..The crew was stealing the stereo from another car when the owner came out of a local bar and caught them in the act. Contrary to the characterization by the eyewitness, the owner was likely human as he was wearing clothing. .The eyewitness in this case, was the one remaining gang member capable of speech. According to his description, this “Goh-rilla” came up and took the two lookouts one in each hand and smashed their heads together, killing them instantly. .Number three, by this time, had pulled out his switchblade. The “Goh-rilla” took the switchblade from number three and used it to cut, chop, slice, dice, fillet and even julienne the original owner of the switchblade. Number three was in intensive care with every expectation of meeting the nice coroner..Number four by this time was attempting to squirm out from under the dashboard. The car’s owner’s stabbed him in the groin several times and left the knife embedded as he dragged number four out of the car by a leg and dropped him on the street. The “Goh-rilla” then got into his car and drove away, driving over number four’s legs in the process. Number four was in the hospital loudly demanding that the police arrest this lawbreaker. .The officer noted that they did not anticipate finding the aggrieved owner with the implication that they probably weren’t looking all that hard..Jerry in Detroitspamtrap19990601 at aol dot com

Being the somewhat naive person I am I probably would have said to myself"Should I say something or shouldn't I?" but probably wouldn't have said anything but in this case the end result was the perfect ending for ignorance! As my mama would say "what goes around comes around!"