The last word on the Evolution vs. Intelligent Design debate:

Have you ever heard of the Unintelligent Design theory of life? Yeah, me neither — until today. After reading the argument, typos and all, I must say that it makes a compelling case for the existence of an omnipotent, omnipresent, generally stupid creator being.

Key points in the argument include:

The intelligent design people say there are too many holes in the fossil record, and that evolution is only a theory; the scientists say there's not enough evidence of intelligent design. So we say, instead, that life has indeed been designed, just not very well.

There have been 23 elephant-like animals in history, and yet only two survive today (and we add, they're not doing very well). Clearly, this is the mark of an all-powerful creator who is stuck on the same stupid idea and can't figure out why the hell they keep dying off. Hmm, perhaps it's because giant, big-eared mammals with huge, prehensile noses are ridiculous?

The fossil record is littered with animals that prove God, er, whatever magical force designed life, is several fries short of a happy meal. I mean, look at the Dodo. Unlike other huge, successful birds like eagles and buzzards, our creator decided the next big thing would be a huge bird with teeny-tiny wings that didn't do squat. Add to this the fact that the stupid things practically jumped into the Portuguese sailors' cooking pots themselves.