I want to see a world where everyone is allowed to thrive; where love and compassion, kindness and forgiveness are not merely values we intellectually hold in common, but we are actualizing collectively. It is not an easy journey, this space of time between our Fear and our awakening to Love. We need to lean on one another.

I’ve been working at this writing life for four years. God blessed me with a lot of help. Every time the doubts became intense or my attention crumbled, another messenger would come to remind and reassure me that this is indeed my path. But like a yo-yo, each dive into great intentions inevitably saw me return to the safety of status quo–i.e., doing everything except write. I needed a breakthrough. I needed to move into a completely different view of myself and my writing. My moment of deep change finally arrived with the flowers of the belated spring of 2013 and I owe it to the beautiful words of Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. She said:

“I believe that – if you are serious about a life of writing, or indeed about any creative form of expression – that you should take on this work like a holy calling. I became a writer the way other people become monks or nuns. I made a vow to writing. I became Bride-of-Writing. I was writing’s most devotional handmaiden. I built my entire life around writing. I didn’t know how else to do this…

…One day, when I was agonizing over how utterly bad my writing felt, I realized: “That’s actually not my problem.” The point I realized was this – I never promised the universe that I would write brilliantly; I only promised the universe that I would write. So I put my head down and sweated through it, as per my vows.”

I had never thought of my desire to write as a “holy calling”, but in that moment when I read Elizabeth’s words, I realized it is just that. I have known this since I was a child. But I have been a Reluctant Writer, always finding other responsibilities to fill up my days, too frightened to admit who I am and just do it already!

I am no longer a Reluctant Writer, but old habits are like the undead…they keep hideously resurrecting. The fabric of my new habits seems to unravel much too easily. But I have made my vows; I will keep them. I will honor this holy calling, this sacred trust I carried into this world with me. I will use the written word to share what wisdom, what grace, what beauty and insight I have mined from life; I will pass along gifts of love from the Universe. I will do as Elizabeth does: show up in the chair and do the job I have been given to do. Perhaps sometimes it will bless some readers even as the writings of others have blessed me. Perhaps at times my words will serve to be a remover of some obstacle or other for someone. I learned from Elizabeth, that’s not my problem. My job is simply to be faithful and to share the Gift that I was given.