Thursday, March 10, 2016

Here's to Disneyland

My little sister and I are known for our love obsession with Disneyland. But what's not to like? Is there anything better than a Disney theme park full of princesses, churros, and spinning rides that give you all the feels (literally)? No!
In my perfect world we would wake up, eat Mickey Mouse shaped waffles, and skip down main street and through Cinderella's Castle. We would spin wildly on the teacups, soar through the stars on Space Mountain and gladly accept the back pain from the bumpy Matterhorn ride.

At Disneyland, your age somehow disappears. You could easily find some cute old grannie crusin' in the sky inside a big, blue, beautiful, plastic dumbo. And she's enjoying the ride just as much as the snot blowing children who warmed up the seat for her just seconds before.
Another wonderful thing about Disneyland is the fact that appearance is not an important factor for anyone. Sure, you always get those teenage girls who obviously woke up hours earlier to paint on their make up. But most of us just rolled out of bed, rubbed our crusty eyes and ran out the door with our mouse ears in hand. We all accept the fact that our hair is just going to be whipped around on Thunder Mountain Railroad and then matted onto our heads after the first dip and dive in our trusty long on Splash Mountain.
Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. It starts right when you hear that whistle as you scan your park pass and slam yourself through the three prong hip bruiser that you will see far too many times. But then there you are, skipping down Main Street, dodging grandpa's in jazzies and little princesses with their hair slicked back with too much gel and that lovely sparkle hairspray (cause you're not a real princess without that stuff).

If you're in my family, you take a hard left after main street and head straight to critter country (stopping to get a fast pass somewhere on the way). My family is obsessed with Splash Mountain. Not really sure why... But it's just the greatest! You just load everybody inside a floating plastic log without any type of seat belt or hand rail and then send them through a river of singing animals and off a seemingly 1000 foot cliff. I can't explain it, but it's just the greatest ride ever! You always walk off Splash Mountain a little soaked in odd places, most commonly your left shoulder, right side of your bum and both shoes.

Then my family squishes off using the lower road to Thunder Mountain Railroad. Known as "mom's favorite ride" Thunder Mountain is the wildest ride in the West. It entails fierce screaming, plugging of ears during the uphills, and throwing both hands in the air while you wildly jerk back and forth. Just watch your hands, they may get sliced off when you go under that mine shaft roof or by the goat holding the dynamite in his mouth. After Thunder Mountain we usually run to the wild teacups and grab a churro on the way (because that's a great combination right there).
And then there's Space Mountain. Did you know it is now HYPERSPACE Mountain now? Because it is Star wars! YAY best thing ever! My family loves Star wars, so when we got into that rocket and shot into hyperspace it was all shouts of joy and happiness as dun, dun, dun, was blaring in our ears.
Goodness I wish I could talk about every single ride because they are all the best. From breathing that stuffy Disneyland air in Pirates of the Caribbean to becoming a limp noodle after being thrown around in Indiana Jones, there's nothing better.

So here's to the place where you don't have to grow up. To the place where children's cries become the happy norm and corn dogs and dole whip become your diet.
Here's to life long enjoyment from the age of 2 to 92.
Here's to your dream Mr. Walt.
Here's to Disneyland.