So good it's spooky: The gearbox is controlled by satellite, the power is astounding, the luxury is unsurpassed. And there’s even enough headroom for that Tall Bloke I had on my radio show...

We had The Tall Bloke who used to present that car programme the whole world seemed to like on my radio show last week.

You may have heard about it. He arrived with 1,000 paparazzi and 100 television news crews in tow. Apparently they follow him everywhere nowadays.

And they’re so convincing – pushing each other out of the way and hitting each other in the face with their cameras – it’s like there might actually be something to report.

The Ghost II really is faultless, except for the annoying stone-age heating controls that Rolls insists on keeping as some kind of folly to its heritage

Some of them even got serious broadcasters to screen what they’d shot.

For several hours following my interview, all the major television news channels ran the fact that The Tall Bloke ‘walked into a building’.

And, wait for this, ‘then he walked out again’. Some even reported that, in between, he said some things ‘out loud on the radio’.

The fact that he’d said most of them already before didn’t seem to bother them.

Telly’s full of repeats, why not let’s start repeating the news? Not just every hour, but how about every seven days as well?

The best bit was when the 1,100 people holding cameras – mostly sweaty men who looked like they hadn’t shaved in a month and only ever eat cheeseburgers – repeatedly bashed The Tall Bloke and me in the face with their lenses as we walked out to the piazza in front of New Broadcasting House.

I can only presume they thought we were trying to make a run for it, when in fact what we were really about to do was (drum roll...) stand in the exact same spot for ten minutes to present a Children In Need item. This rendered the sweat-monsters totally emasculated.

Suddenly, with no pushing and shoving at all to do, they were like lost sheep.

There’s a new options package that includes a thicker, sportier steering wheel, new 21-inch alloys and there’s extra thigh support for the driver and shotgun

No aggression required. Panic! How many times have you seen footage of media scrums on the telly and wondered, what is the actual story here?

Why are we being shown footage of the reporters as opposed to who or what they are reporting? And do you know why? Because often that’s the only story.

‘There was a media scrum today, because... er... the media decided to have one. The End.’

Once The Tall Bloke and I had done our bit and waved bye-bye to the five generous couples who’d given me a million quid to pop in Pudsey’s piggy bank for a weekend at the Monaco GP, we jumped into my LaFerrari and disappeared off into the London traffic.

Best car ever, of course, the LaFerrari. Except The Tall Bloke didn’t agree – he thinks it’s the McLaren P1, although having said that he’d never been in a LaFerrari before and I still haven’t been in a P1.

‘Ouch, not enough headroom,’ he protested as we lumped over the first of several annoying speed bumps. Did I mention he’s quite tall?

‘Should have taken the Rolls as a getaway car instead,’ I chided myself, especially as I happened to have a brand new Ghost Series II sitting on the drive at home to test for a week.

Rolls-Royces have always been an unashamedly ostentatious luxury, but equally they are unwaveringly loved, recognised and respected

Did I mention I used to own a Series I Ghost? Which in theory should make me more qualified than most to review her successor. Except I think it made my task more woolly.

The Ghost II and I spent close to 300 miles in each other’s company, during which I was reminded of the astounding power, handling and responsiveness that such a big, luxurious car can achieve nowadays.

There’s nothing quite like accelerating in a Ghost and leaving the rest of the world behind aghast.

But honestly, other than the added genius of satellite-guided transmission lifted from the Rolls-Royce Wraith – which looks at where you’ve been, where you’re heading and adjusts the eight-speed gear changes accordingly – I couldn’t really tell the difference.

I should point out this is primarily because the Ghost series I was so good in the first place.

I decided therefore to call in and see Ben, my ever-smiling (and he really is) local Rolls-Royce dealer, just opposite Sunningdale Golf Club on the A30.

Here’s the gist of what he said: the headlights now have full LED surround; the wings, front and back, have been subtly re-sculpted to make her even more aggressive (Bentley! Remember, I told you to watch out – well, keep watching out!).

I suppose we could consider docking her half a star each for her outrageous price tag and shameless anti-planet fuel economy. But that would be like docking Jimi Hendrix a star for contravention of health and safety

The bonnet now has a ridge down the middle to give the impression of a vapour trail flowing from The Spirit Of Ecstasy, there’s a new options package that includes a thicker, sportier steering wheel and new 21-inch alloys – which really do fill the arches much better than the 20-inchers on the old model – and there’s extra thigh support for the driver and shotgun.

Once he’d pointed out that it was all about evolution as opposed to revolution I began to relax and get it a bit more.

Rolls has a major hit with the Ghost, so more radical changes than the ones they’ve made would have been foolhardy, their creative juices having flowed instead in the direction of the Dawn, the drop-head version of the Wraith, which received its dealer principal top-secret unveiling last week in Southern California.

I know several people who were invited to attend and they’ve talked about little else since.

There will be several more sneak previews at its Goodwood headquarters before the Dawn rises officially later this year.

Anyway, back to the Ghost II, which really is faultless, except for the annoying stone-age heating controls that Rolls insists on keeping as some kind of folly to its heritage.

And I suppose we could consider docking her half a star each for her outrageous price tag and shameless anti-planet fuel economy. But that would be like docking Jimi Hendrix a star for contravention of health and safety and being a bit too loud.

Sometimes outrageousness is precisely the point. Rolls-Royces have always been an unashamedly ostentatious luxury, but equally they are unwaveringly loved, recognised and respected.

And the good news is, they continue to get better and better, which, let’s face it, is a pretty big ask considering where they started.

AND THE VERDICT?

‘Unashamedly ostentatious but Rolls- Royces just get better and better. Pretty much faultless.’

They also represent amazing second-hand value. I know this for a fact, as I ended up selling mine to my accountant, after which he showed me exactly how much I’d lost on it in our monthly meeting a week later.

As for where The Tall Bloke and I ended up in the LaFerrari?

Precisely back where we’d started, outside Radio 2, no more than five minutes later but now deserted, not a camera being clicked, not a soul to be seen.