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Is Gluten Making You an Introvert?

Are you an introvert? Do you eat food containing gluten? Bingo! There’s your problem.

I’ve been treating people with Celiac disease (a condition in which the small intestine cannot digest gluten) for years. Extensive anecdotal evidence indicates a gluten-free diet can cure introversion and many other conditions including:

Homophobia

Pyromania

Beatlemania

Introspection

Contemplation

Heebie-jeebies

Stockholm Syndrome

Cablevision

Ethnocentrism

Plagiarism

An introvert who changes to a gluten-free diet will notice immediate changes:

Small talk becomes easier. You’ll have no problem babbling endlessly about how you’d kill for a doughnut.

The fear of large groups of people will be replaced by fear that you’ll never eat another delicious bowl of pasta.

At meetings, you’ll stop sitting in the back of the room and start sitting near the pastry tray.