Vison of Life...It speaks about my views towards what's happening around us, though many of the things represents Pune, a becoming Metro in Maharashtra,India yet most of us live in similar city life. In city day to day life all we face is problems around us; from traffic to water to slums to power supply & many more, but who has solutions? That's why the name
Vison of Life!
Sanjay Deshpande

Thursday, August 24, 2017

“A Ship in Harbor Is Safe, But
that Is Not What Ships Are Built For”… Grace Murray Hopper.

Dear Dada,

And who better than Hopper who was US Navy Rear
Admiral can describe a ship & its purpose! Beta on this day when you will
be leaving your Pune harbor I recited the above quote for thousand times in my
mind. Exactly like a ship for 22 years your home was your harbor & you were
safely anchored here though I knew one day this ship has to leave its harbor
& so the day has arrived. I don’t know how my father has felt while I left
my harbor at the age of 13 years but then with all credit to my earlier
generation they always exposed us to troubled water a lot frequently than my genre
did! I remember 12th May 95 morning 9 am still very clearly on the
porch of hospital in-front of sarasbaug ganpati temple. I remember your very
look & frankly I was too young even to understand the responsibility on me
by your arrival though with your growing up I too learnt it, may be a bit late.

I look back & like in title of Marvel
Comics movies your various images flashes in-front of my eyes, not that I have
given you much time but right from your two year old chubby figure in swing
attached to our sahakarnagar kitchen door to your first day to symbiosis school
in the uniform, taking you along with other kids to cartoon movies & still
I remember your excited round face after seeing pack of salted cashew nuts
& shouting “kharre kaju”! And then the time spent with you in taking your
studies for ssc board exam taking away your fear for studies, the joy of you having your bike, so many images of you are & will always remain fresh in my mind.
And then suddenly you have grown up, taller than me, working out in gym for six
packs with a beard (which I never liked, let me be frank). I never realized that so much time has fled that the day has come when
you will be going to explore the world by yourself. As till now I am used so
much to have you around though not in-front of my eyes yet your presence, I
knew it’s nearby & now you will be going miles away literally like we say
in marathi “sata samudrapaar” i.e. beyond the seven oceans!

Dada I have been writing to you for years now
& many a times I think to myself does
he needs any more my writings which is advise for you, but let me tell you, off
late if you read my letters then it’s no more advise but sharing. As call its advice
or teaching, all such stuff is ok till certain age but when your son grows up,
all a father can do is share what he feels & let the son choose what &
whether to take the sharing by his father. Yet as an father I feel happy to
share as that gives me a joy which you will realize only when you will become
father & then my father has never shared any such things with me when I
grew as that wasn’t something my genre was used to & neither his. And may be my sharing you will find bore as
its same over & again, only with different words but then generations came
& went but the definition of good & bad hasn’t changed is a fact. So
whatever my sharing with you or chota is, it’s always to make you understand
good & bad & stood by the good. You may find these words coming straight
from some Disney movie but can’t help it as you know how much your father loves
cartoon movies & the philosophy they carries. Dada, why I used to take you to
cartoon movies is they are the best teachers to make you teach which no words
of mine of no school would have taught you & that is terminologies like,
good, bad, morals, values, fear, courage, friendship, family, duty,
responsibility & how we can forget Master Shifu in Kung Fu Panda searching
for Inner Peace! All above words
are not mere terms or letters but all these gives meaning to the life. As
remember your school or college will teach you knowledge & will provide you a degree to earn what
society calls success but unless you understand all above terms & their
meaning you won’t be ever able to enjoy that success which your knowledge will
give you.

Dada do you know what I have
come with in this city named Pune at age of 16 years? Well I had with me three
years of experience of staying away from home, a bag carrying hardly four sets
of clothes, a pair of duplicate Adidas bought on footpath of Bombay, an alarm
clock, a blanket, a mattress & a second hand Luna! And you know what we
have now, yet all I will share is even this very day I haven’t forgot what I
have come with here, in this city! I have never & will not ever compare my
childhood or growing up with yours or chota, as I believe that each tree is
born with its own destiny to grow. But never forget the taller you go up in sky
& wider you spread above the ground, then simultaneously only if your roots
go deeper in the soil, then & then only your tall spread can sustain any
hurricane. And here your
height is your six pack body, your acting career, you degree, getting opportunity
to go to England for study, your all perks of being born in a fairly well
placed family with pairs of shoes, watches, your own car & many such which
millions of kids never even dreamt off. And then your roots are you
understanding of responsibility of your height, the goodness you will always
carry within as well your family & friends who will love you & care for
you always.

That way you will be going for just one year
& a year is very small time considering our life span but when it’s your
loved one going away the same one year seems a lot more time, which will be so
for us here. No more we can go out for dinner at your favorite joints nor the
movies which you like to watch on first day of release & many small things
which will seems very big when you won’t be around. But don’t forget you are
going to a new country, new world & try to absorb as much you can as these
will be the best times & entire your surrounding will be your teacher. You
are going there as a boy & you will be coming back as a fine young man
& do come with not just knowledge, education, degree, manners & etiquettes of western world but come
with the attitude which has made them a better society than ours though not on
all fronts. Take back what we lack & leave what doesn’t suits or fits in
our definition of good as it’s not necessary that a developed society is
perfect one too!

And last & most important take care of
yourself as this is something which you have not been used to while your ship
was harbored here for last 22 years. I will be happy to see you back in the
harbor ready for sailing to new horizons, is all I can say, rest anything doesn’t
matters much!

Friday, August 18, 2017

“Festivals
promote diversity, they bring neighbors into dialogue, they increase
creativity, they offer opportunities for civic pride, and they improve our
general psychological well-being. In short, they make cities better places to
live”… David Binder.

Binder
was a journalist for theNew York Timesfrom 1961 to 2004, reporting on a multitude of topics
regarding Eastern and Western Europe, Soviet Union, the United States, Cuba,
Puerto Rico. He served as a foreigncorrespondentinBerlinin 1961 where he reported on the building of theBerlin wall. No wonder after
seeing most of Europe from a journalist’s eye, he can describe festivals so
perfectly. And why I remembered his quote in none other than our Ganpati
Festival; as if you ask anybody about Pune then first answer comes, the famous
Ganpati Festival. During these ten days the entire city transforms in to a
fairy land just the way it happens in Disney Land. Citizens forget about
routine problems the city offers to them & everybody is busy in welcoming
as well worshipping Lord Ganesha in his or her best possible way. And it’s not
about just domestic i.e. in house celebration, what makes the Ganpati of Pune
special is it becomes entire city’s celebration, getting along all the segments
of the society together, making them forgot position, age, gender, caste &
even religion. Well, this was what Lokmanya Tilak (Due respect even Shree Bhau
Rangari also) has thought of this festival some 125 years back. Such a rich
& long heritage this festival has got, sure this makes Pune’s Ganesh
Festival unique in entire country!

Before having a
look at today’s face of ganesgh festival, let’s have a glimpse of past. Some
three decades back the festival may not be having glamour what it has today
& may be the budgets were also small yet the charm was there & a flavor
of family culture. The events carried during the festival were for all the
segments of the society as well every age group of the family. And I am
speaking about public Mandals’ mean not just restricted to some society or wada
but entire locality used to gather under the banner. A Mandal means group of people coming together
socially of one suburb or locality or mohalla or Aali (Street) or Peth in
Pune’s language. Each such Mandal has one common Ganpati apart from their own
home & all the events right from various games’ competitions to cultural
programs like debate competition or dance to arraigning music programs or movie
screening were arranged keeping in mind social awareness. Sure decoration was
the key factor but it wasn’t the only factor while celebrating the festival.
Money used to be generated via residents as well shop keepers in the locality
but not forcefully. Enjoyment was sure main thing on agenda of ganesh festival
but not at the cost of other’s peace of mind. Every event is worked out keeping
the budget in mind & not vice versa & most importantly the object of
the festival was fun, peace & togetherness of every segment of the society.
And at the end of tenth day the Wisarjan Mirawnuk (Immersion ceremony of Gnaesh
Idol) was the peak of the festival. It’s this wisarjan mirawnuk which gave the
real glory to Pune’s Ganesh Festival as not just from the State but visitors
come to witness this procession even from other countries as nearly a million &
above people come on the streets of Pune for whole night & become part of
the procession, an event worth being part of!

There was one more
aspect to this festivals or Mandal’s formation & that was many political
careers has been started through the
Ganpati Mandal’s all across the city & this is where the scene
started changing on the horizon of Ganesh Festival of Pune. Once the political
figures realized this aspect of ganesh festival which assures entry in to
millions of home (read vote bank) then the money started flowing in. Slowly the families & social workers
from the Ganesh Mandal’s got replaced by bhai, dada & yuva nete type
figures. Like the popular stand in election while issuing party ickit i.e.
capacity to get elected; capacity to collect or pull in more money become the criteria
for being prominent member or office bearers in the Ganpati Mandal’s
organization. And with that came rat race to spend millions on the
decoration & work books with glossy images of big political figures as well
celebrities. No more these Manadal’s were taking families of local residents as
center of the events in the festival but crowd pulling become the main object
of the Manadal’s decorations as well so called cultural programs. Outcome is,
no more ladies or the families can now move freely in the crowd which floods
the roads to see the Ganpati Mandal’s decoration or immersion procession on the
last day. As the entire focus is now on flashy lighting, walls of sound
speakers & so called mandal karyakarte (volunteers) shaking their bodies in
ugliest (lewd is proper term) way on the tunes of raunchy songs. The very
purpose for which the Ganesh Festival has started is being defeated as it has
become a tool controlled by few to show their power to the society! I know many people won’t agree with this
sharing or even may not like it but this is what I have observed in my last thirty
years of stay in Pune.

And then the
nature of our celebration, look at it; when the festival started some 125 years
back & later on for many years then our traffic wasn’t what it is today.
The work nature of entire society has changed; people can’t take this
disturbance to their movement or the ear pollution for ten days. What is the
first thing which announces arrival of Ganesh Festival; earlier it was starting
of pendols (mandap along the road), now its Dhol Tasha deafening sound all-around
the city which starts nearly a month before the festival. Agreed its
celebration but do we need such sound pollution cancer, with enough of
pollution already surround year long to us! And then blocking of roads by the
mandaps (pendol) for the festival & it’s not for just ten days, these
structures remains there for nearly a month long disturbing the entire traffic
of the city. Agreed the festival is highlight of city’s heritage but if the
city is getting smart then cant we make Ganesh Festival also a bit smart, is
what I will like to ask every citizen.
For e.g. do we need so many mandal’s around & if we do then is it necessary
to celebrate the festival by blocking roads & ears of the citizens?

Why can’t
we come out something like we have in UP & MP State as Dashahara Maidan,
where Ravan is ignited. Or in Dubai there Global Village where pavilions of all
the countries are built on a huge ground displaying every countries culture
& commerce. Likewise we can have a big open space outside of city by name
of Ganesh Maidan, may be on all four sides of the city & let all the
Mandals have here their respective Ganpati’s Mandaps. The place can be
connected all round by public transport & only Ganpati’s which will be in
the city are of societies or wadas causing no trouble to city civic management
or residents. Here at such place we can have spaces reserved for cultural as
well performing arts along with food stalls & sale of goodies. On each day prominent
figures from the society can visit this Ganesh Maidan & share their views
with the public from a common stage. And one single procession can be planned
through the city like Carnival in Rio, Brazil on last day which everybody can
attend.

This is just one thought to make the Ganesh Festival smart & it may
sound weird & sure may will think I have gone out of my mind yet
considering the changed nature of the festival as well needs of the city, it’s
high time we should really think out of the box to make the Ganesh Festival
relive for what it has been started by our forefathers! Because if you see the
controversies launched regarding the Ganesh Festival, then the people it,
Lokmanya Tilak or Bhausaheb Rangari, both of them would have been ashamed of
starting this event, had they been alive to witness the present face of the
festival which we call Pride of Pune! There are many Ganesh Mandal's who does try to celebrate sensibly & use the festival to spread awareness about social issues but unfortunetly the percentage of such Mandals is very less is fact.

Just to sum up will share something I
wrote about the kind of society we are becoming…

“Few years back
it was statue of dadoji konddev, few months back it was statue of ram ganesh
gadkari & now snap of lokmanya tilak; when we will understand that a person
is honored or respected by his deeds as well achievements & not by his
caste or religion! Very frankly not just Pune or Maharashtra but entire country
is on such a shameful track of dividing people on basis of caste & religion
that we don’t need China or Pakistan to defeat us as our enemies as we,
ourselves are sufficient to doom us as our enemy!!”This culture & feeling of togetherness is what we need to
take back home while we immerse Bappa on the last day when we say good bye to
him saying “Ganpati Bappa Moraya, Pudhachya warshi lawakar ya” (come back soon
next year) or else one day even he will refuse to come back to us if we remain
on the track we are on as a society!

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

“To be successful in real estate, you must always and consistently
put your clients' best interests first. When you do, your personal needs will
be realized beyond your greatest expectations”… Anthony Hitt.

CEO at Engel &
Volkers North America,Anthony Hitt has served as Chief Executive Officer of Engel &
Volkers North America since January of 2014.Anthony has been personally involved in Engel & Volkers’
emergence in the United States since 2010; those who doesn’t know Engel &
Volkers, for them its one of the world's leading service companies in providing
their clients with luxury real estates, properties, yachts and boats.The firm has
around 520 residential property offices and 49 commercial offices across the
globe, brokering retail, office and industrial space, investment properties,
multi-purpose apartment and office blocks and property portfolios. No wonder it’s
his work experience & authority which gets reflected from above words of
Anthony which unfortunately his fellow collogues in similar business in our
country has not yet understood! I am referring to real estate developers
popularly known as builders, a term which many in the business doesn’t likes
yet that’s what common man knows them by. For ages real estate is supposed to
be the profession which cares a hoot about its clients, rare feet as when every
other industry or profession was busy in laying red carpet for its customers,
real estate never needed to take any effort on this front. Reason was simple,
there was always more demand than the real estate industry can supply &
then flat, plots, shops, offices were gold mines making anybody associated
super rich & in our society mostly the rich don’t bother much about getting
connected with masses is unfortunate fact. And when I say masses it means the
common flat or say home buyers; those who doesn’t agree then go back a little
in past & ask the flat buyers in 80’s & 90’s, that what was their
experience while dealing with builders as well how many of them have been lucky
to actually meet the builder himself? There are few builders who might not
be falling in this category but in general that was the scene on connecting
with customers in real estate.

The real estate was
sailing comfortably with all its perks & affordability of not being in
touch with clients till late 2012 at least in Pune but silently things were
changing under the smooth surface of appreciation & margins in home making.
There were ups & downs though & if you consider last thirty years then
at least the real estate has seen five to six cycles of recession yet it has
survived as every time it was correction & still the demand was more than
the industry was able to supply. But in last five years things has changed a
lot & due to urban policy of the State more & more land was available
for real estate at the same time for generating more revenue the local bodies
like PMC & PCMC started offering more FSI as well TDR for the existing buildable
lands. And on other side as there was no control on land prices the land lords
were sitting dead on the land holding which made the raw product i.e. land
costliest factor in the real estate. Simultaneously labor costs along with
material costs went up in construction; needless to say even govt also kept
premiums, stamp duty, taxes graph rising eating out most of real estate’s appreciation.
The outcome was the end product got so costly i.e. production cost of home
making, that it went out of the pocket of common man at the same time there was
more supply in market. If all this was less so the govt came up with three things in
succession, Demonetization, RERA & finally GST; this was final blow to
drive out customers (read investors) out of real estate & this is something
real estate was not used to face ever! Now the only solace is real buyers but
how to identify them & connect them if you identify the clients, as this is
not something the builders were ever good at!

Before touching
this aspect I will share my own recent experience on this front of clients’
connection. At VJ-SD (Vilas Javdekar & Sanjeevani Dev) we always try to reach out for our end customers by every
possible mean & we believe our existing customer is our best brand
ambassador. Right from conducting plantation programs at site to arrange get
together at ongoing site to wish our clients on their birth days, we do keep a
very regular contact with our customers. Off late our majority clients are from
outside of Pune that too from Nagpur region (Vidarbha) & it’s not possible
for their families to participate in our events here in Pune. So we thought why
not arrange a get together in Nagpur itself for our clients in Vidarbha region
so most of them can make it to meet their builder & his team (read “us”).
Though there was risk involved & that is as most of these people are not
living in Pune there could have been lapse from our side in communicating with
them in past & the anguish might be expressed across in event spoiling the
tempo but we decided to take the risk as I personally believes the tag line of
Mountain Dew (a cold drink), “darr se aage jeet hai’ i.e. you need to put your
fear aside if you want to win! So we went ahead & we took simplest path of
invite one to one, via whats-app as well email as well post. In this era of electronic media
agreed the world has come closer but yet someone needs to press "enter
& send" keys to communicate & as a builder I feel it’s our duty to
do it first than awaiting our client to contact us!

We kept it very
clear, only existing customers & sole purpose is to meet, to share what’s
happening here in Pune which is 800 km away from Nagpur & let us know what
our clients what to say to us. I have prepared a presentation about Pune &
growth but standing at the podium I felt it’s not necessary as if I call this
as get together of my family members then do I make presentations when I meet
my family? Answer is No, so instead I shared what’s happening in Pune. The main
problem for people (read client & their families) who are going to migrate
from cities like Nagpur to Pune is they hardly get to know firsthand
information of the things happening here in Pune. As all they get is read
social media forwards on whats-app or TV channels or new papers which just show
one side of the coin. And on the background of RERA & GST most clients
wanted to know what will be impact on their homes in making as well there were issues
like villages merging in PMC & development of infrastructure etc. Do mind,
most of the clients which are migrating from Vidarbha or Marathwada or
District places, because of their limited budget can’t afford flat in elite
areas like prabhat road not even kothrud or baner but they prefer in fringe
area & especially the so called 34 villages. As most of these clients are
youngsters just got a job or parents who are buying for their sons/daughters
for their education! And they don’t much mind about infrastructure like roads,
water as well close proximity to happening places like High Street, Baner or
Koregaon Park. But when they read news like GST will make homes costly or RERA
will make homes cheap or the area where their project in under construction
& where they have booked their home is getting merged in PMC, they have
lots of questions about all these things & they can’t come to Pune often.
So I explained the difference between Pune & Nagpur & remember nobody
likes to leave his home town, so I shared my sympathies with them for the need
they have to leave the beautiful city like Nagpur but then their next
generations career is in Pune is a fact. Pune offers jobs, education & most importantly Pune offers
social secured culture, much better than Nagpur as well than any city in Northern
or Central India. Just to let you explain how much important this last factor
is, in my home town Khamgaon (Vidarbha) still in cinema halls ladies & gents
sections are separate for sitting while you watch the movie & not just that
even ticketing windows are also separate for ladies & gents! Now you can
imagine how free & comfortable the youths must be feeling when they move
around here on Pune roads! Though the infrastructure is a
problem for Pune but then back in Nagpur also the civic problems are same. Here
roads & water like things follows the real estate, unlike in western world
where infrastructure comes first.

About RERA which is talk of every person related to real estate.
I explained them RERA doesn’t decide rates of real estate but it’s a tool given
to the customers to secure his rights. No law can change the industry but it’s
up to us how we are going to make use of the law to get that change in the
industry & so is RERA. It will definitely make the
real estate transparent but builders will be builders unless until you as
client use the law to improve the system. I explained them that RERA will
assure that only the builders, who stay committed to what they have promised,
will remain in the business provided as clients you also remain aware about
what has been promised to you. As earlier also there was MOFA & yet it was
unable to protect the customers from the builders as no law on its own can
protect anybody but we have to make use of that law in such way that no builder
will dare to break the law & cheat clients! As your builder, I assured them
we have not been affected in any way by the RERA & neither we are afraid of
it but am happy that RERA will help the good builders to remain in business as
well control the bad ones! One more thing will be monitored with RERA &
that utilization of funds for the project which has been collected from the
flat holders. As maximum problems in real estate has been caused due to
diversion of funds collected for one project to other projects or businesses by
the developer. (Pune has witnessed many such in recent past & by so called
reputed builders). Also about GST as it’s too early to comment on its effect
yet if we keep transparency then whatever calculations we will have to do so we
will & pas on the set off to them, is what I put forward clearly. As due to
GST norms flat to flat setoff will vary is what initial picture is; earlier,
average customer used to pay nearly 5.5% of agreement cost in form of VAT &
Service Tax , which now roughly can go to 6% is what my initial judgment is
about GST impact.

Lastly most I said
this is era of communication & we are open always twenty four hours for our
clients not just for something related to their flat but anything they need
which mainly involves their kids here in Pune. Because if we consider our
clients as family then whatever their concerns are, it’s our duty to stand
beside them! Needless to say the get together was a great success & what
more we can want than to see happy faces of the clients!

This is what I will share with my real estate fellow friends
that times are changing & we don’t need RERA or GST or Demonetization to
make real estate a respectable industry. We are just like any other industry
but a lot more close to hearts of our customers as every other commodity comes
to him by paying for it but it’s our commodity only where he has to come back
as that’s what a Home is! And the client of real estate
are changing, with more options available & law on their side as well
awareness level high, we need to deliver what our client expects & for that
we need to be connected with the clients or else how we will know what he wants
us to deliver! Only the builders who will understand this simple logic of
connecting with the clients will survive, is writing on the wall named Real
Estate! Finally all
I want to tell the home buyers, remember there were good builders & bad
builders in real estate, there are good builders & bad builders; there
always will be good builders & bad builders; RERA doesn’t makes a bad
builder good or good builder bad one, but it gives you opportunity to compare
what’s good & bad, choice is yours with whom you deal with!

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

“One of the
greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the
world is to have parents to call mom and dad”… Jim DeMint.

James Warren DeMint is an American politician who was a United
States Senator from South Carolina; he is a member of the Republican Party and
a leading figure in the Tea Party movement. No wonder adhering to most US
politicians he too thrives on family values & his above quote speaks about
the same aspect of life which most families in the most sought after country
are missing! And yes on the background of some recent incidences in our very
own country rather in my own backyard made me use this quote about parents. The
social media as well print media was abuzz rather with suicide of one young
Manmath Mhaiskar who happened to be only son of high level govt official
couple. With due respect to his parents who are my family friends, off late
whatever little reputation I have got being a writer, many friends asked me to
write something about this incidence. Actually the sudden ending of own life by
Manmath has come as shock to many mid age parents whom I too represent. As well
on the same time there was news of a young NDA cadet named Jaiswal ending his
life in form of suicide & he too was from middle class family. Imagine a
young NDA cadet ending his life so early, an institute which supposedly makes
its students tough by mind as well by body, what could have made him so
desperate to end his life! Here when I say a
middle class family then what I meant is a family where culture still is
alive, where good & bad definitions are simple & clear, where parents
have got decent education background & a family which is doing good on
financial basis too i.e. it may not be necessarily earning millions but for
them day to day survival is not an issue. So what makes the youngsters, who
have been brought up in such comfortable environment to take decision of
killing their life so early? Being a writer makes people think about you that
you can write on any subject which is not true actually. But this was such a
topic which not just as writer or engineer or wild lifer or builder but very
close to me as a father, courtesy my two growing sons, who are in nearly same
age of Manmath! But instead of writing down my feelings, first I made a self
talk video; a medium which I felt can connect with the youngsters in better
way. But then the writer father also popped up & so this sharing,
especially for the youngsters who still believes in reading (there are many
with due respect but lesser than our younger days) as well this is for parents
of the teens who are in their late forties as this suicide topic is becoming a
nightmare for most of the well to do parents!

Here many will say what’s big deal in it, as every day we read such
suicide news & that of youngsters too; so what made Manmath as well the NDA
cadet special? Well, agreed we do read many such news but when someone
from a well settled family with parents like he has got or the Jaiswal has got
then thousands like us get shaken off deep inside thinking even we can be the
next such unfortunate parents! As when every possible materialistic thing was
available which a teen age boy can think of & loving parents along,
then what would have went so terribly wrong that these boys decided to end
their life, this question haunts me! And then on the other hand is news paper
Maharashtra Times initiative where they help via society to the young kids who have
passed SSC exam wit above 90% marks. And these kids are
from opposite background that of the most suicide cases kids are form. Here
these kids are with either of parent has been passed away or disable to earn
& in extreme poor conditions, many of them are living in slums. Life has
taken away everything from these kids but one thing & that is their
fighting spirit. All these poor kids want to live, they want to have everything
which they have been deprived off & they want to achieve something which
our elite society calls success!

Now when we define success, our generation was lucky as things
were very simple; all you have to choose for career was science, commerce,
arts, and engineering or medical that’s it! What most of the teens wanted is a
secured job, having a small four wheeler & a 2 bhk flat, is all which used
to be definition of successful life. And agreed we didn’t have much of money at
hand but that was good because it saved us from comparing with others as most
of the kids were on same platform speaking financially. Eating out was a term
unheard of & most important there was no internet or smart phones so we
could spend time in reading or with friends. Even today I am
personally not sure what we call social media is boon or curse for us. As on
one side if it helps in keeping people connected crossing miles of distance but
on other side it takes you away from the people who are just around you. Actually
generation of ours has seen maximum changes of life style i.e. from antenna
radio when we were kids to today’s latest I Phone 7, all gadgets we got exposed
to. Speaking about family culture, we
have been grown up with the term “saat chya aat gharat” i.e. we have to return
inside of our house before 7pm; in short no “night life” in today’s
language. And today this very same generation of ours has to spent
sleepless nights waiting for our kids to return home till past midnight. As this genre
don’t pick up their parents calls, don’t reply to even harmless messages of
caring mom or dad who are just asking if all is well & when their son or
daughter is coming back to home who is chilling out with his or her friends.
And then this younger lot gets offended even by smallest of things like asking
them where are you going & when you will be back? And if you ask them about
studies or tell them to curtail time on internet then you had it; this is the
scene in most so called successful families around. On this background I
remember my childhood or even college days & right from choosing civil
branch for diploma to which movie I should watch, on all fronts my father’s
words were like order of Supreme Court & I am not comparing my generation
with today’s as that’s something this genre doesn’t approve. The biggest difference is we believed in our parents &
had respect not just fear for them. This respect has come from the trust that
whatever my parents will think for me, they may not be right but they will
always think of something better for me, with their limited knowledge. This is
respect & trust is missing from the minds of today’s genre about their
parents as these kids think they know everything.

This is why I say, today’s young genre is cursed with plenty
& this plenty comes on all fronts; right from choice of career to having
pairs of shoes these kids has access to all the luxuries of life, which
actually is outcome of their parents’ hard work. To start with they have career
opportunities right from catering to tourism to photography & the list is
endless. Medical & engineering still has got its luster but at the
same time options like finance or marketing management are picking up. Though
not related to our topic yet pure sciences are not on agenda of most youngsters
is sad thing for not just science but entire nation. Then most of the well to
do families can afford to send their kids to countries like UK or USA for
higher studies so that’s one more popular avenue open. When I look at all the options life is offering to this young
genre, then I don’t understand whether to consider them lucky or unlucky, as
with all such avenues anybody will get confused & do mind a confused mind
is most easy target for insecurity which leads to depression. And that’s exact reason
why this genre gets succumbed to games like Blue Whale which is much in talks
right now, in this game the player is asked to perform few tasks at each level
& final task is ending own life! Weird it may seem but a confused mind is
easy prey for such games as recently there have been incidences of teens
attempting suicides because of such online games.

The problem with
parents of my generation is often when a youngster ends his or her life then
all blame goes to parents only, as if
they only have pushed the kid to such tragic end, is what entire media &
even close ones also start preaching them. The grief of losing loved child on
one side & on other side guilt of not being able to prevent such tragic end
& on top of it you only get tagged as guilty for your child’s suicide, just
imagine to stand such pressure or pain is the proper word. It’s often said by
all the psychologists or so called philosophical guru’s on media that have a
dialogue with your child, don’t burden him or her with the pressure of
expectations to such level that he or she will end up his life. But tell me
which parent will like to see his child ending his or her life for so called
success, I am sure none. It’s not just parents but entire system which we call
society is responsible to push any kid to suicide is what I feel. As look
around & what you see, everybody is
busy in comparison of their life with others on every front, may it be
job or pair of shoes or bike or home or cell phone, most of us keeps doing things
just to outnumber others. That’s what this generation has been grown up seeing
around & this rat race is not just restricted to their parents but at
school, in friend’s homes, everywhere it’s there & no wonder these kids
also become part of this comparison race even without knowing it. And then with
the curse of plenty along they are not used to being deprived for having
something neither they are mentally tough to accept a defeat or rejection. Here
is where importance of hobbies like playing any sport along with reading like
things comes in picture. As when you play any sport it’s not just if you come
first in any competition is what makes you master of that game but if you learn
to accept a loss in any game with smile & at the same time if some win is
not going in your head then I will say you have mastered the game. As it’s not
just playing some sport but understanding spirit of the sport is what makes you
a better person! And it’s this spirit of the sport which helps you being stable
or balanced in your life out of the sports arena. So as a parent do understand
these small things as just your dialogue isn’t going to make your child
understand what you feel form him but it’s the activities & entire
surrounding he is bought up is going to make him understand importance of
living. Our mind carries both types of emotions negative & positive & I
am sure each of us even my genre too
have our share of negative thoughts & some time or other many of us has
gone through the situation that all is lost & lets end this life. But then
real fun is to rise from this situation & hit away the negativity of our
own mind. And to make the young genre understand this fact is responsibility of
every one of us who considers himself or herself as grown up & not of just
some parents who has teen age kids.

Agreed sharing
comes in many forms along with sports for e.g. as a father write your kid on
every possible occasion as well take him out for a general drive. Not necessary
each time when you have time at hand you should take him to some mall & buy
him goodies as remember however rich you may be but you can’t ever buy values
of life to your kid. They has to be cultivated in him by your acts as well let him
learn to acquire those values just like you
can push him in water but he only has to swim if he wants to be afloat
in water. At the same time the youngsters also should understand this fact that
today whatever their parents are it’s not just by some good luck but they have
fought hard to reach here & success is creating your own achievements,
however small it may be but do it by yourself & see how beautiful life is.
All I will share with the younger lot (my sons included) that life is
responsibility too & a precious gift & you are lucky to have it via your
parents. Remember when you decide to end your life over smallest of the things
like breakup with girlfriend or fear of failure then you are leaving three dead
bodies behind, one is your own & two are your parents. Long back when I was
kid there was dialogue in the most famous movie of Bollywood "Sholay",
when A K Hangal has to carry body of his son Sachin & he says, “janate ho
duniyaka subse bada bozz kya hai? Budhe baap ke khande pe jawan beteki arthy”
means biggest burden for any old father is to carry dead body of his young son
on his shoulder! Guys some day you are supposed to pass on legacy your parents
have gifted to you to next genre & some day you also will be father or
mother to some fine young boy or girl but for that you need to live first.

So, dear youngsters remember your marks, your career, your success
of having top position in job, all these
things are immaterial for your parents as nothing of it is that pricy which can
be exchanged with your life. And if you think
you are not getting enough support from your parents or teachers, in fighting your fears then create your own
support; play, read, dance, laugh, cry, run, make friends, speak out yourself,
be part of nature as its best guru, do
anything but suicide is all I will say! It’s said, the
young age is best time in your life but to experience it you need to grow up
old & for that you have to live. And do mind growing old is the best return
gift for this best time you had, which you can ever give to this society of
which your parents too are part of!