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Courage Not Cowardice

I think, a lot. In fact, some days I can’t even focus or concentrate on anything that I’m doing because I am always in contemplative frustration over things that I see in everyday life. I wrote the above post late this past Saturday night while laying in bed. I find myself spending a lot of time alone these days and in the quiet of the night and within the confines of my solitude this is what my mind tends to come up with.

The above was posted to my personal Facebook page for Dean Cantave. Most of what I post typically goes on my personal page, simply because I haven’t honed the voice and audience for my fanpage, which you can find here.

But before I expound more on the above image, let me show you what really drove this out of me…..

I got this image from one of my Facebook friends and shared it to my page. I pay attention to what people gravitate towards, especially on social media. Some posts get no likes or shares and little to no attention, but there are times when something I post get’s a LOT of likes, shares, and attention. The above image was liked 114 times and shared 13 times. When I saw this it took me into thought mode, which as a result produced the first post that you see at the beginning of this blog post. My post got 173 likes and 12 shares.

Now, the question is why?

Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith come this December will have been married for 18 years. Amongst all of the constant noise about relationships on social media I would argue that their example–especially given the fact that they are a wealthy super-star couple always in the limelight of the public and the media–is a good one to follow and take note of. The fact that there marriage has been under constant ridicule says a lot. For most people that are having marital problems they don’t have to deal with the issues that are probably plaguing Will and Jada.

When you think about it, social media in and of itself can have a very negative impact on relationships in such a digitally connected age. Instead of having a marriage or relationship between two people, you now have relationships or marriages that are dictated by the flow of others opinions. This is exacerbated with the presence of social media and relationship statuses that are prominently displayed. Of course some would argue, “It’s not social media, it’s you.” Perhaps. However, when you have people that are less inclined to think for themselves then of course other’s opinions will be what determines the outcome of your relationship or marriage.

There are so many people that I am connected to on social media that vent and complain about their love life, or lack thereof. You see posts everyday of men bashing women, and women ripping men for not being what they perceive to be as “good” men, for a variety of reasons. There is a reason why my posts received so much attention and I’ll tell you why:

We all want, to some extent, what Will and Jada have.

What you don’t see are people going out and actively pursuing and creating that which they admire most, but you’ve got more than enough groups, fanpages, books, courses, classes, and willing participants to the overall broad conversation on relationships and love.

In a world where the statistics are quite grim it would seem that people are more concerned with what society is saying and experiencing over what THEY are saying and experiencing in their own lives. You can’t have the benefits of being wealthy without all of the problems that come with having money. You can’t have the benefits of being in a loving marriage or relationship without all of the problems that come with it. If anyone is to claim in their lifetime that they’ve endured a partnership–the likes of what Will and Jada-Pinkett Smith have been able to accomplish–in their lifetime, than a very serious conversation needs to be had about the kind of sacrifices that are required for two people to stay together.

We can always talk about what we don’t want and what we won’t tolerate, but the key to everlasting companionship is talking more about what we WILL TOLERATE, and what we will accept. Love is true acceptance and sacrifice.

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