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Saturday, March 27, 2010

It Took Me 7 Hours to Watch Thunderball: OR Why It's a Bad Idea to Watch Movies on My Computer

No joke. 7 HOURS.

I was sick all day today, so I thought I'd finally watch a movie that I've been meaning to watch for a while (actually I SHOULD have been watching Gunga Din...it's made it all the way to sitting on top of my TV, Casey! I'M ALMOST TO THE POINT OF WATCHING IT! ;-D). Thunderball. As in the James Bond that everyone apparently hates because of extensive under-water scenes or something like that. (Believe me, I know NOTHING about James Bond. I've only seen the first four! So, I really don't know what I'm talking about. I just read the extremely entertaining IMDb Message Boards on the subject; with everyone arguing what REALLY happened in that .000001 millisecond when James Bond was running through a doorway.)

Let me just repeat here that I am highly ill. And obviously delirious.

Anyway.

It literally took me seven hours to finish the 124 minute movie. Because I was watching it online. Here! (More than likely the site was sending viruses rushing through my laptop the entire seven hours.....) Here's what happens:

I watch the first ten minutes or so. See on my toolbar that I just got a new email. I pause the film, open a new tab, and check my email. Then of course that means I have to check Twitter, Tumblr, and possibly Facebook. On Twitter I'll start getting into a conversation with Kate about unnecessary mustaches (CHECK OUT HER BRILLIANTLY AMAZING NEW TUMBLR ON THE SUBJECT!) Someone will post a link to a new blog post they wrote, I'll have to go read it...and comment. Finally after there are no more random things to read/people to chat with I return to my movie...not really knowing what the heck is going on (but isn't that kind of the point of Bond films? ;-D). But then the whole horrible cycle starts over again.

Except much worse.

Because this time, I will remember I need to get my surveyish thing post out before the day is over, so I rush to finish putting in the YouTube links and post it. But, YouTube IS the death of me. Once there, there is no leaving.

So, I spent TWO HOURS aimlessly watching random YouTube videos, including a bunch of new What's My Line. (WML = Pretty much the most addicting show ever!) About halfway through my second Robert Wagner (?!?!?!?!) WML appearance, I realize, watching James Bond zoom around in a his own little jet-propelledish thing is waaay cooler than watching Robert Wagner's (who is not exactly ever making it on my favorites list. ever. ever. ever. ever. ever. ever!) not-that-impressive James Cagney impersonations!

^Very few can compete with the coolness of James Bond's jet-propelledish thing. Even if he DID wear a helmet when he used it! Sheesh, cowardly stuntman! ;-D

Well, I finally got off of YouTube and I finally finished the movie! I liked it! (Dr. No will ALWAYS be my favorite, though.) It was pretty cool. Even though it's main purpose was to reiterate to me the fact that sharks are the freakiest things ever (I am so tired! I almost just added: to walk the face of this planet)! Seriously. Even if they turn out to be already dead and just being pulled around on wires. They still scare me 75% to death. Especially when the bad guy with the jauntily-placed eye patch keeps the "deadliest in the world" in a wading pool in his backyard, so he can throw henchman he is displeased with into it to feed the demonic sharks!

And about the whole "extensive under water debate". I actually rather liked it. The "major" battle that took place entirely underwater was oddly fascinating. What with the hilarious slow-motion of it all and Sean Connery running around ripping off all the bad guys' air masks (rendering them immediately dead) and the bad guy wearing his jauntily-placed eye patch under his goggles. Seriously. It was all pretty fun.....until the sharks showed up (all that blood).

Anyway, since I really have nothing else to say (it's debatable whether I even had anything to say in the first place!) I'm just gonna end this post here!

Hahaa! I am soo going to regret this post tomorrow when I'm not half asleep and delirious with illness!

8 comments:

Haha, you're posts are always so random and awesome. I love reading them. :) I haven't seen Thunderball. I haven't seen that many James Bond films anyway. I've seen the Pierce Brosnan ones and Diamonds are Forever with Sean Connery.

I like Robert Wagner, but mainly in Hart to Hart and I just think he's handsome. :) What's My Line is pretty cool, never really watched much of it(I know, shocking. lol) I really should though. Hope I didn't scare you away with saying that haha. :)

Thunderball has always been my favorite 007 movie and it still is! I was nine when I first saw it and *loved* the underwater sequences--it's what nine-year-old boys live for; well, at least they used to, boys today are all "emo" or whatever.

Thunderball boasts the most over-the-top ending of all 007 films, and yet the ending was possible...

Oh MY! According to the IMDb Message Boards you have seen absolutely the worst ones to watch! AHAHAHA!

Hmmm, something about him I just can't stand! I don't know, he just annoys me to death! Haha!

Not scared away at all! But, you should really check them out! They are tons of fun!

CK: Well, if you and DKoren love it so much, I'm going to trust your opinions, not the dorks on the message boards! Hehe!

I know! I didn't think the water scenes went on too long, but maybe the people thinking that have been conditioned with the fast-editness of the new James Bond's!

Which ending? The battle, the sea chase, or the crazy-cool floating along from a Air Force jet?! ;-D

DKoren: Well, I'd have to say, it's in my top four Bond's! ;-D

She was utterly cool! I ADORE when she's driving the car so fast, and making Bond nervous. The best part. Definitely! Haha! I don't what my favorite female character is? I know it's SOOOOOO cliche, but I just adore Honor Blackman (Even though I didn't think the movie of Goldfinger was all that amazing)!

Thunderball has always been my lest favourite of the Connery Bond movies. There are long spaces where nothing happens As to my favs, I love Goldfinger (even if it has one huge plot hole) and Dr. No, but my fav is From Russia With Love.