The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Decisions, Decisions

Tonight on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Vicki will have to decide between Brooks and Baby Troy. Will she run away for a weekend with her lover or will her loyalty to Briana win out?

We know what we’re hoping for. And it’s certainly not more screen time for Brooks.

Find out who Vicki chooses as we recap tonight’s episode with our THG +/- review!

Tamra and Heather kick off tonight’s episode with a glass of wine and a little girl talk. Heather felt that Gretchen and Slade’s behavior at Hot in Cleveland was disrespectful and weird. And it was. Minus 10.

When Lydia tells Alexis that she went to Heather’s taping, Alexis is visibly shaken. She doesn’t like it that Lydia is spending so much time with the girls and thinks Alexis should reach out and apologize. Lydia thinks Alexis needs to make “a bold move.” And I think Lydia needs to drop it.

Alexis throws out the bullying word and says she doesn’t trust Tamra but needs to let all of this go.

Vicki finally admits that Brooks is her boyfriend. Since Briana and Ryan don’t want him in their home, she’s just going to visit him at his house. Which is 5 miles from her house. Which is still too far away for Vicki. Minus 12.

Brooks asks Vicki to go away with him for the weekend and she says that she can’t because she’s traveling to San Diego to babysit Troy while Briana and Ryan go to the Marine Ball. Way to choose the grandma duties, Vicki! Plus 8.

She asks to reschedule, but Brooks is actually going to play Dad the following weekend, so that doesn’t work for him. Vicki asks for a raincheck and the following exchange occurs:

Vicki: Can I get a raincheck?
Brooks: Maybe if you’re nice.
Vicki: I’m always nice. Until you piss me off.
Brooks: You don’t want to piss me off either.

Uh, that sounds like a threat, Vicki. Head for the hills! Minus 34.

Tamra’s been asked to speak at the L.A. Women’s Expo, but she’s really nervous about the prospect of speaking in front of so many people. She hires a speech coach to come in and help her write the speech and give her pointers on delivery.

During their conversation, Tamra seems vulnerable and emotional and real. It’s a different side of the brash, loud, somewhat crude Tamra we’re used to seeing. Plus 9.

Lydia’s stirring something in a pot on the stove, but she’s a self-proclaimed non-domestic. She hasn’t done a load of laundry in their house. Like, ever. Minus 12.

She doesn’t make dinner. She makes reservations. Minus 12 more for good measure.

Lydia tells Doug about the conversations she’s had with Puff the Magic Grandma and Doug tells her she needs to lighten up. In different words, of course. Plus 25.

Gretchen and Slade are visiting her doctor to discuss her fertility. Slade’s been snipped, so there’s that issue to work around, too.

During her date with the dildo-cam, the doctor declares that Gretchen’s uterus is “nice and lush” and her follicles are “pleasantly plump.” Plus 8? Somehow knowing that much about the inner workings of Gretchen’s girl parts doesn’t feel like a plus, but we’ll run with it.

The doctor recommends in vitro fertilization for Gretchen and Slade given his vasectomy and her age. Gretchen envisioned making a baby the old fashioned way.

Briana, Ryan, and Vicki are heading to San Diego with Baby Troy. While Ryan and Briana are at the ball, Vicki’s playing Nana.

Vicki, the 90s called, they want their “whoop” back.

Ryan has a deployment to Afghanistan coming up. He’ll be gone for 11 months. Vicki vows to do whatever Briana needs her to do to help her daughter through it. Plus 7.

Terry’s taking Heather out to dinner to apologize, again, for not supporting her and dropping The D Word into their fight. Good job, Terry.

Briana and Ryan leave for the ball and Vicki says she’s more than happy to be watching Baby Troy. Even if she wishes she were with Brooks. Minus 15.

Over drinks, Terry starts apologizing and says that he thinks the reason he acted like a jerk was because he worried about how Heather going back to work would affect his life. Heather’s not buying that as an excuse.

After a really serious heart to heart, he passes a card across the table. He’s written a note inside that’s so sweet it makes her cry. And then he cries.

And maybe I cried, too. Or it just got really dusty in here all of a sudden.

Hooray! The Dubrows are good again! Plus 37.

Tamra’s mom comes over to accompany her to the Women’s Expo. Tamra’s speech contains parts that might make her mom uncomfortable, but she’s pushing forward with it anyway. If she doesn’t chicken out.

Lydia’s mom comes over to teach Lydia how to (half) bake a lasagna. In her one-on-one, Lydia lays all of her non-domestic tendencies on her mom because she was too busy teaching them how to throw flower petals in the air to teach them how to do practical things. And then she says she didn’t learn those things because she never had to learn those things. Way to tell the truth, Lydia. Plus 2.

Lydia says she could never measure up to being the kind of mom to her boys that her mom was to her. But wouldn’t smoking up be the answer to that?

They (half) bake the lasagna and call it a day. Mom gets to smoke her joints and Lydia gets to keep her mom around. All is solved.

Tamra’s at the Women’s Expo and ready to give her Keynote address. She’s looking great in a red dress. She cracks a couple of jokes that get no laughs.

She starts her speech and there are tears in her voice. She talks about how her tough exterior is a mask for her insecurity and why she is the way she is.

It seems like Tamra had a little enlightenment up on that stage. Good for her! Plus 20.

Tamra’s got to have a tough discussion with her mother after a speech that ripped apart her childhood. The only time Tamra can remember her parents telling her that they loved her was when she was 21 years old. Minus 4.

Not knowing how to express her emotions makes Tamra an angry woman. But Tamra wants to change that. She’s turning over a new leaf starting with telling her mother that she loves her. Plus 20.