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Any Good Christian knows that God created the world. God created the world perfectly, with Moral Americans giving him emotional support; with Canadians, Europeans, Australians, Asians and Blacks to laugh at; with hipstersexuals and emosexuals to present him with a fun challenge, basically they’re the villains in his video game; and a labyrinth known as the countries and continents completing it for his own personal enjoyment. However, the incessant liberals dispute this, arguing that we can’t prove the existence of God and that it simply happened as a result of the Big Bang. Ignoring the fact that the theory is a double entendre that seems to want us to believe that a bunch of particles are engaging in an orgy, that’s illogical, to steal a quote from my fictional nemesis Spock. Something cannot come from nothing.

Liberals are hypocrites, it’s a reality that stands out to all but them. It’s allegedly racist to say Barack Hussein Obama looks like a monkey, but it’s okay to say Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse. Gay marriage yes, but no to polygamy and bestiality which are basically at the same moral level. Tax the rich. Obviously there are going to be potholes in their pseudoscience as well.

More evidence of the homogay evil controlling science

As a responsible conservative reporter, I feel the duty to research what the nemeses say. I read their books, the ones that claim that God does not exist and that they know all because they’re pretentious narcissists. In one, it mentioned that as the universe is constantly expanding, it cools as well. This would hypothetically make sense, considering how the matter is spread out further, leading to less collision and thus, less thermal energy emitted. But Christopher, you may ask, there are so many stars, and nebulae are forming all the time. My response? Well first, you’re probably a liberal if you’re saying that. Second, if the Big Bang is to be believed, the universe is constantly expanding at a rate faster than a human can comprehend. If the dirty Europeans at CERN are to be trusted, the universe could be expanding at a speed faster than the speed of light. It takes a star a few thousand years to form. The expansion of the universe would thus definitely outweigh the speed of star formation, and would barely compensate.

So, if the universe is cooling from the constant expansion, doesn’t that contradict the idea of global warming? Sure, you may say, there’s the atmosphere, that provides a barrier from the unGodly aspects of space. Rockets can break that barrier at a certain speed. For the expansion of space at the rate the liberal commie scientists want us to believe, that speed is much faster than that at a rocket. This would mean that earth would be hypothetically receiving a lot of the effects of space considering the speed and power of the matter outside of our little safety bubble. Allegedly, the static on televisions is part of the Big Bang. Wouldn’t, then, that mean that the earth would in fact be cooling? If the matter is exuding less thermal energy by the second, science would have you believe yes.

And yet, we feel no heat. We don’t feel cold either. Antarctica exists. Religion triumphs over science. Science is a group of contradictory lies. Astronomy contradicts the concept of the environment, and we realize that intelligent design is the only logical reasoning for everything, and explains everything in an organized and well-thought out manner. Scientists can go die in a hole for their conceit because they’re so wrong and I have no idea why anyone would believe anything they say except out of non-conformity. I dream of a world in which people would not argue that they believe in science. Science cannot support itself, and once again conservatism wins.

About The AuthorRepublican, American, Christian, Man, Carnivore, White, Hero, Genius, Brave. All words that adequately describe Christopher Christenson. At the ripe young age of 28, Christopher has been writing for Christwire for quite a while, when he isn't warding off the North Koreans from attacking or mentoring youth at his church. Because of his young age, he is able to connect with the young people whilst still charming our beloved elderly. Christopher is fascinated by the grotesque trends among youth and will stop at nothing to investigate. You can contact him on his website.

I though “horse-face” was a racial slur against whites. And no. Even if, hypothetically, you were to prove that that single tangential point was invalid, it would not be sufficient to invalidate everything else he has said.

Your also wrong about the reason blacks are referred to as “monkeys” as a racial slur. It’s insinuating that blacks haven’t progressed past the “ape stage” of evolution while whites are fully evolved.

@BusinessMan Hank: If he can’t even tell the simple difference between a racial slur (“monkey”) and a joke (SJP as a horse”) I don’t see how he could be right on anything, oh wait that’s because he’s not right about anything.

The major issue I see with all this global warming ‘science’ is the demand so many apologist have upon the faithful to provide scientific ‘proof’. What a circular web of lies and deceit! It wouldn’t be faith if it could be reduced to a bunch of diagrams people!

I think it is time to flip the table, Housewives of New Jersey style and demand the science glurks ‘splain the science in ‘faith terms’. Bet they can’t do it.

Considering ‘faith terms’ in your head basically mean ‘admit you are wrong and that I am right’, no, no one is going to explain it like that to you. When you shove your fingers up in your ears, you aren’t going to listen to a word anyone says, and as a result, no one is going to listen to you, yet you’ll still bitch about why no one listens to you and why no one can prove you wrong or something stupid like that.

Well, the bible was written long before anyone had the technology to actually come to that conclusion. Oh, and I’m a democrat. If god is real he will make the next thing i post on here so epic that even Neil Patrick Harris couldn’t find anything as epic.

Devlin, you’re an idiot. You’re leaving out both the sun and the atmosphere as to why we aren’t either freezing to death, or boiling alive. Just because something cools doesn’t mean it can’t be hot either. Want to experiment this? Simply go to your air conditioner, turn the heat onto full blast and wait a bit. Once it heats up, turn the dial down so that it’s not quite as hot, then wait awhile. Is it still hot? Yeah, but it is it as hot as it was before? No. That’s basically a microcosm of what’s going on. Factor in the atmosphere and such, and you get the reasoning behind why everything isn’t a frozen wasteland, nor a blazing one.

The idea of global warming is like this: imagine the Earth as a ball that’s inside a balloon, and put that balloon near a heating source. For the sake of argument, let’s say the balloon is heat-resistant, it doesn’t absorb heat as much as other objects, but just enough to keep the ball inside nice and warm. What global warming is doing, is basically scratching the balloon from the inside, chipping away at it, and making the balloon weaker, causing more heat to come in, making the planet warmer. Now, if that balloon has a big enough hole in it, the amount of heat coming in is going to roast the planet. That’s the BASIC idea in the SIMPLEST of terms I can explain. There’s a hell of a whole lot more going on, but that’s the main idea.

Exactly! This is the kind of sense that confounds liberals because they have rejected God. Instead of going to church where sound logic and reason are spoken, they get their information from liberal bath and coffee houses or on the george soros led media outlets like msnbc or the daily show.
…and when I hear liberals try to explain science, it’s all I do to keep from grabbing them and shaking some sense into them.

I know it’s probably way too late to comment on this article, but I couldn’t help it because it’s just so stupid.
Even if the universe is getting colder, it doesn’t affect us because the earth has an atmosphere that protects us from it. The real problem is that we keep sending up greenhouse gases into it. Greenhouse gases exist naturally in the atmosphere, and they trap the sun’s heat in the earth to keep it warm. But when there are too much of them, they let even less heat escape, which makes the earth hotter.
And also, sure, the poles are still here, but they are melting and getting smaller. We can’t feel the temperatures rising because they aren’t rising fast enough for us to feel the difference, but we can see the effects and it is a major concern, at least for the people who actually care about this planet, unlike you.