One of the things that gets me with these pipe-the-directions cakes is how much EXTRA work they're putting in to do that piping, when a wee bit of comprehension at the start would save time and lead to happier customers.

I swear I'm starting to think that the decorators are being dense on purpose just to end up in your blog. That's the only explanation I can come up with because such a high level of not-thinking makes me want to weep.

The last cake is just so pretty! Then you read it, bang your head repeatedly into the keyboard, and cry a little. Its not that they don't read, its that they have a filter between the reading and comprehending parts of the brain.

I think people assume too much these days when they expect people to have "common sense"-- surely an oxymoron. It's not just cake decorators either; it's a pandemic. Just come and meet my coworkers. Libby's idea is excellent. "common sense" classes should be mandatory-- but not just for bakers!However, kudos to the decorator of the last cake on their penmanship. At least you passed something in school.

#2 Finally, balloon strings that look like strings. Too bad the balloons look like a piping bag malfunction. The color fiasco is easily explained: "We didn't have pink, so we used green." Who says wreckerators have no common sense.

#3 If the cake had been just a little bigger, they could have included the last line: "In All Different Colors, With Sprinkles."

#4 Is there a better message for a dirt & worms cake than 'Nothing'?

#5 "Best of luck in WindyCity."(I never knew 'italicized' meant 'run together' -- guess ya learn something new everyday.) If only the decorator who did most of the work could have stayed to write the inscription.

How did Dylan write a Civil War-era protest song? Time machine, maybe? [Ducks and runs...]

I'm terribly passive aggressive, with a wide range of work-related pet peeves. I'm sure there must be some cake decorators like me.

If a rude or condescending customer wrote detailed descriptions all over the line that specified "WHATEVER IS WRITTEN HERE WILL BE WRITTEN ON THE CAKE!!" I would definitely pipe it a cake just like the 'Windy City' and hand it to them, feigning innocence. "Why, I piped exactly what you wrote on the form. I cannot offer a refund for your mistake."

This might make me a bad person, but I honestly think that's where these cakes come from.

It could also be a 'corporate policy' thing at chain stores that the decorators are not allowed to 'interpret' what they think the customer wants written on the cake; they must write exactly what the customer has written, even if their common sense tells them otherwise. Should they have called the customer and checked before piping? Probably. But if the customer was rude to them? They might skip it. I certainly would.

I so love that you parodied an entire song just to get to that last cake!

@Becky 12:36 PM - No, sad to say, after working in a state office for almost 20 years and reviewing many, many written examples of "standard American English" as interpreted by native speakers...of standard American English (whatever that may be), I can attest that the problem stretches across the entire spectrum of those who use writing to communicate. Still, makes for much better Wrecks!

My personal favorite has to be the worm cake that says "Nothing." After all, what is more of a waste of money then sprinkling Oreos and gummy worms then an addition of hot pink frosting that makes absolutely no sense.

Just last week, my co-worker piped instructions on a cake...I couldn't believe it!! I work with a Cake Wrecker!! :)I think a lot of these mistakes are caused by the decorator being distracted while writing, overworked with lots of orders or doesn't read the order form thoroughly!

Obviously most decorators can READ (though comprehension is questionable) so why can't someone come up with a simple order form that clearly breaks down the items?:-INSCRIPTION-INSCRIPTION NOTES (STYLE, CASE, COLOR, ETC.)-DECORATION

I'm with Courtney... these (at least some, if not most) have, have, HAVE to be on purpose. There simply is no other reason why there seems to be SO MANY of them. I'm not complaining, I'm just pguessing that, for grocery chain store cake decorators who don't give a damn because this wasn't their dream job, having their wreck make it onto the esteemed Cake Wrecks blog is some sort of trophy to them. Or maybe customers who specifically order cakes this way then send the pics in hoping their cake will make it on the blog. My brain refuses to accept the idea that there are actually THIS many idiots out there who do this without realizing it.

Arghhh who would pay for these?? Lol if you know it isn't right just don't buy the thing. And that nothing cake.. really is nothing. I don't know why they can't figure out that you don't put directions on cakes. Guess they all like wrecking poor customers cakes.

Do you suppose these are along the lines of "there is no such thing as bad publicity"? I suppose it conflicts with "the customer is always right," though that one seems to have gone out of favor lately.Very funny wrecks today (well, yesterday, as I'm posting on Tuesday)!

This reminds me of my own cake wreck. I bought a cake for my sister's birthday. Her name is Monika-- note the less common spelling. I suppose it was my fault for not writing it down, but I got: "Happy Birthday Monica with a k!"

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.