Bootcamp for the mind & soul

I once bragged that in between conference calls I made a cake in 17 minutes.

My husband had called to say that a friend was flying into London at the last minute for a 24-hour period and that it was her birthday. I immediately told my husband to invite her over for dinner and said I would do something special for her birthday.

As I got off the call and looked at my diary, I realized that I was scheduled to attend back to back conference calls all day. The only gap I had in my diary was 20 minutes in between two calls, and so I seized on those precious minutes and frantically whipped up a cake and popped it in the oven in a record breaking 17 minutes.

I was super pleased with myself and bragged to my husband that if needed, I could rule the world because I was The Master Multitasker. I was Superwomen!

Fast forward to a year later and Superwoman was curled up in the fetal position on the bathroom floor suffering from a panic attack. I would become afflicted with panic attacks and depression for the next 18 months. Apparently, I was not Superwomen and could not rule the world. I couldn’t even rule my own world and because of that my body and mind got sick because I thought that I could do it all.

Which begs the question, why do we women assume we have to do it all?

The answer is complex and multifaceted and is not one which can be answered in a short blog. However, what I will say is this – You don’t have to do it all.

As Gloria Steinem so eloquently puts it.....

“You can’t do it all. No one can have two full-time jobs, have perfect children, and cook three meals and be multi-orgasmic ‘til dawn…Superwoman is the adversary of the women’s movement.”

If you find yourself chasing your tail, running around trying to be all things to all people, ask yourself these powerful questions:

What do I say ‘yes’ to when really, I mean ‘no”? Why do I say Yes?

What do I need to stop agreeing to?

Do I have boundaries, and do I clearly communicate them?

How will I ensure that other people do not cross my boundaries by attempting to make me feel guilty?

Do I put myself last? If so, why? How can I adopt imperative self-care practices that put me first? (for I cannot serve from an empty cup).

The key take away items I want to leave you with this week are the following:

Recognise that you can’t do everything and be great at everything. You don’t need to do it all.

Realize that you can say No – you do not have to agree to every request and task that is asked of you.

Give up multi-tasking.

You do not need to be super woman!

By setting boundaries realise that:

It’s an act of self-respect and self-care

It builds self-esteem and confidence

It contributes to feeling less stressed/anxious and depressed

It validates your needs

Improves relationships with others as people will understand what your limits are and what you stand for.