Ahaha this is my insanity. I am brainwashing you all and turning you into my minions even as you read this.....
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Friday, 17 May 2013

What is this Life

I apologise
because I am a horrible person who should be destroyed.

Yes, I haven’t
written anything for aggggggggges.

But you have
to understand that I’ve been drowning in a blogging hole of depression, lying
on my floor writhing around and going

‘ugghhhhhh. Why do I even
botherrrr? It’s not like anyone even reads this junk …. oh god no one caresss
about my screwed up life.’

She wanted
to know what happened on the fateful day of the Birthday Party With Tristan.

And I
thought if I had to type it all out for her I mays well just tell all you
internet randoms as well.

so yeah.

This is how
it all happened …

*insert
fade-out to black and white footage*

I was
totally pumped on the day, dressed up in my Aayla Secura outfit, and I must
admit I was looking particularly lovely that day, though admittedly I was also
blue.

Ruby was
being her usual Padme-ish self, and we were rocking this town.

Basically,
the birthday party was epic. There was around 15 of us there, including Tristan
in his super-good-looking bounty hunter mode.

And long
story short (I’m skipping out the rest of it because it gives me too much
mental anguish) Tristan is now Ruby’s boyfriend.

Yeah,
believe me you don’t want to know.

…

What’s that
I hear? You do?

Well, okay
then, I’ll relent.

But I warn
you it’s horrific.

Well so there
I am in my happy little beautiful innocent world at this point in time. Epic
party, the little kids all think I’m cool even though the majority of them have
no idea who I am, and one guy asked if I was meant to be the fat blue guy from
doctor who (like, what the actual hell. Just because we’re both blue.)

So I was
talking to this little girl who was around six years old, and incredibly cute. And I was feeling
pretty pro because I had acquired the best kid at the party.

So Tristan
and I were having a conversation while this kid was busy sitting on my
shoulders eating an icecream.

And now some
of you begin to see where this is going.

Yeah, she
dropped it onto my head.

Which
managed to not only destroy a few hundred pounds worth of costume, but also was
basically social suicide.

So I excused
myself rather quickly and washed it off my head and couldn’t bear to go back so
i just went home.

And I had to
catch the tube in an Aayla Secura outfit.

Luckily I
was unrecognisable.

But that
happened about a month and a bit ago and I haven’t talked to him since, though
he did call a couple of times, because every time I consider it, my mind just
plays me a mental video clip of what i would have looked like with a scoop of
ice-cream running it’s way down my face.

and then i
retreat back to my bedroom and the comfort of the internet.

But yeah
moving along to about a week ago, Ruby just turned up at my house with this
totally ditzed out smile on her face and casually announced that she and
Tristan were now an item.

She didn’t
know I had any interest in him because I am one of those social awkwards who
can’t communicate their feelings, but still.

So yeah.
There it is.

Now I just
have to continue to live in the eternal hope that I’ll somehow get married to
either Dan Howell or Phil Lester and then she’ll be jealous.

3 comments:

HelloMy name is HannahI am good friends with someone who you call Rose? I think...So yeahShe put me onto this blog and its so weird... you are like her twin and you like all the same stuff as us. Its really weird.But you post really funny things so yeah! I guess I just wanted to say Hello :)