The Badass Test

All of us, at some time or another, are brought up short by the great question of the modern age. It is not "Why am I here?" It is not "Is there a God?" It is a far simpler question, the product of a more selfish age:

Am I awesome?

And are you? For many of us there's no sure way to know. You might think you're pretty cool. Active social life. Pretty good-looking. Appreciate the awesomer things in life. But are you a badass?

And that's the question I'm prepared to answer. But be warned! The true badass may not be quite as you think. They possess a set of skills unfamiliar to the average lumpkin. They have a fit body, but they also know how to use it -- both in the upright and the horizontal arenas of life. They have chutzpah. They are not merely social animals, however! They also know how to provide for themself, in any extremity. And finally, they are secure. The true badass feels no need to flaunt his badassery, because you know what? The guy with the shiniest uniform gets shot.