Garland

Indian Drivers keep to a strict observance of their Highway Code, based
on an ancient text. Peter Hughes offers a translation (circa 1990)
{My note - Since then there have been a few changes: the population
is now (3.13) 1.2 billion; seat belts are fitted; many more vehicles
and makes on the roads!}

PLEASE FASTEN YOUR GARLAND OF MARIGOLDS

Travelling in India is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound,
spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes
hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable - and, when you are
on the roads, extremely dangerous.
To the Westerner, the behaviour of drivers seems to cross Space Invaders
with a profound belief in reincarnation. The Ambassador cars,
Bombay-built derivatives of the Fifties Morris Oxford, rattle tourists
to palaces and temples like time-capsules in a game of virtual
unreality. There is an explanation for this behaviour. Most Indian
road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit
text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first
time in English.

Article III
All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the maxim: to
slow is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat. This is the
Indian drivers' mantra.

Article IVUse of horn (also known as the sonic fender or aural amulet): Cars (IV, 1, a-c): Short blasts (urgent) indicate supremacy, ie in clearing dogs, rickshaws and pedestrian from path. Long blasts
(desperate) denote supplication, ie to oncoming truck "I am going too
fast to stop, so unless you slow down we shall both die." In extreme
cases this may be accompanied by flashing of headlights (frantic). Single blast
(casual) means "I have seen someone out of India's population of 870
million whom I recognise", "There is a bird in the road (which at this
speed could go through my windscreen", or "I have not blown my horn for
several minutes."Trucks and buses (IV, 2, a): All horn signals have the same
meaning, viz, "I have an all-up weight of approximately 12.5 tons and
have no intention of stopping, even if I could." This signal may be
emphasised by the use of headlamps (insouciant).
Article IV remains subject to the provisions of Order of Precedence in Article II above.

Article VAll monoeuvres, use of horn and evasive action shall be left until the last possible moment.

Article VIIn the absence of seat belts (which there is), car occupants shall
wear garlands of marigolds. These should be fastened at all times.

Article VII
Rights of way: Traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So
does traffic from the right, and also traffic in the middle.
Lane discipline (VII, 1): All Indian traffic at all times and
irrespective of direction of travel shall occupy the centre of the road.

Article VIII
Roundabouts: India has no roundabouts. Apparent traffic islands in
the middle of crossroads have to traffic management function. Any
other impression should be ignored.

Article IXOvertaking is mandatory. Every moving vehcile is required to
overtake every other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just
overtaken you.
Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable locations, such as in
the face of oncoming traffic, on blind bends, at junctions and in the
middle of villages/city centrs. No more than two inches should be
allowed between your vehicle and the one you are passing - one inch
inthe case of bicycles or pedestrians.

Article X
Nirvana may be obtained through the head-on crash.

Article XI
Reversing: no longer applicable since no vehicle in India has reverse gear.