Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Hey Folks! You had concerns, I'm addressing them here! The following are direct quotations from last season's end of season survey in bold, with my comments below them.

"I love Gillis but the fields need repair. Especially the field with the backstop. Also, field lines are worth it."
You're right, they do need repair! Unfortunately the parks department has limited resources that can be directed toward neighborhood park maintenance beyond routine mowing and keeping the lights on, so it's time we took matters into our own hands. That's why next Sunday we're going to Make Gillis Great Again! If you're interested in helping improve the quality of our playing surface and home, please join us. CLUBWAKA will be providing soil and all the tools I have in my backyard, but shovels, rakes, and bodies are all needed.

"Don't force teams to move to the upper league unless they are really good." "Why have relegation/promotion? Have a council of refs/captains that decide if a team should or shouldn't be promoted."
Our conference system is something I've been tweaking since 2011, and the current format has provided by far the best parity we've ever had. Promotion/relegation combined with captains' rankings to determine those best suited to what conference protects against several natural tendencies of having competitive teams:

A few teams establish themselves as a step ahead of the rest competitively.

The gap gets bigger due to the most competitive players wanting to play on the teams most likely to win.

Good teams that just have no shot drop down to the less competitive conference for a better chance at a 'ship.

End result: 2-3 ultra competitive teams that nobody wants to play against, and a "fun" conference that actually has 5 really good teams that curb stomp newbies and turn everyone off to the game.

By promoting the Music conference champion and voting to fill any empty spots in the Capital conference, good teams sandbagging into a less competitive environment for a better chance to win is prevented and everyone in the Music conference has a better time. In the Capital conference, we have a broader range of teams and new faces every season that keeps things from getting stale and nasty. Relegation protects teams who are outclassed in Capital by ensuring them a trip to Music the following season. The system isn't perfect of course, but it's the best I've seen!

"We need a new bar! The same bar EVERY season is getting old. Let's switch it up, if possible." "Consider Toss Pizza for next bar sponsor."

This is a subjective assessment that many people may disagree with, but it brings up a really good question. Why don't we play beer pong? Flip cup? Quarters? The answer is pretty simple: the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission forbids it. I actually contacted them back in 2015 asking for clarification and was told that section 45.103 of the Texas Administrative Code (specifically article C 10) has been interpreted to disallow drinking games. This, of course, is a TOTALY HORSESHIT interpretation that they pulled out of their asses, but it doesn't change the fact that the TABC will go after the license holder if they permit drinking games to take place on the premises, which is why it's categorically disallowed by any establishment interested in not being fined / losing their license.

As to the party games that we do play, the silly minute-to-win-it style competitions are supposed to be dumb. They're ridiculous in order to loosen you up and get you out of your comfort zone and interacting with players from other teams, which is why they count for "social" points!

Welcome back to another season of Stephen not using any sort of advanced analytics, rhyme, or real reason at all and making controversial picks and setting arbitrary lines for games. Remember, CLUBWAKA does not endorse sports betting or gambling in any fashion, but if Justin gets out that green plastic visor y'all better let me know so I can hit the ATM.

Regular Season Record: 0-0-0 (.000)

THIS WEEK'S PICKS

Game 1: Large Hardon Collider Length vs TBD-Cumming SoonLHC -1.5

Game 2: At Least We're Having Fun vs Booooze On First!At Least We're Having Fun -3.5

Game 3: Do You Even Kick, Bro? vs Brown Guy and FriendsBrown Guy and Friends -1.5

Game 4: Jacked to the Kicks vs Kickin' Grass & Takin' NamesJacked to the Kicks -3.5

Game 5: Large Hardon Collider Girth vs Tight and BrightTight and Bright -2.5

Game of the Week: The Tyrannical Tea Baggers vs FRESH BRUTalk about a grudge match! Tea Baggers are NOT accustomed to being eliminated in the quarterfinals, in fact I can't recall the last time it happened. Watching those guys walk off the field after FRESH BRU's go-ahead inning was like watching the Mariners walk off the field after THIS HAPPENED last night. They're gonna come out firing hard, but FRESH BRU ain't no rookie bitch anymore. I couldn't be MORE EXCITED about a week one game, which is probably why I scheduled it.FRESH BRU -.5

Picked up some key players that should be welcome additions, but there may be an adjustment period.

3 - Plan B - N/A

The next edition of $hit Circu$ is cracking the top 3 for the first time after going to the Capital final last season.

4 - FRESH BRU - N/A

Breakout performance in the Spring post-season where they knocked off the Teabaggers in the quarters, and they'll be looking to build on that for another run.

5 - Tight and Bright - N/A

Welcome back to the show! After several seasons off they've decided to quit mucking about with name changes and call it what it is: the one and only TNB.

6 - Large Hardon Collider - Girth - N/A

No idea what exactly to expect from this crew but with an infusion of talent from the Alcaballics they could definitely surprise people/

7- Large Hardon Collider - Length - N/A

Probably the most free agents I've ever put on a Capital team, but sheer gumption will likely win them a couple of games.

8 - TBD-Cumming Soon - N/A

Word on the street is that the leading candidate for actually naming this team is "Sit On My Base", which is my favorite punny name (if you have to have a punny name).

9 - At Least We're Having Fun - Girth - N/A

Stole a few up in capital, but not enough to avoid relegation. Should be immediate contenders in Music.

10 - Red Ball and V0dka -N/A

Barely avoided being bumped up to capital, and while their defense is reliably stalwart this crew seems to have trouble scoring runs and wins a lot of 1 run games. Still a threat in a theoretically weaker conference this season.

11 - Booooze on First! - N/A

Our top ranked team coming over from Wednesday, they'll be adjusting to bunting and may take a while to acclimate.

12 - Pitches be Trippin' - N/A

Scott has finally embraced the heritage of the team name after letting another team adopt it last season, and while they should be solid on paper they were ravaged by off-season injuries.

13 - Brown Guys and Friends - N/A

As of last season this team officially loosened up and decided to play the everyone wins game that features an active flip cup table and strong bar presence. Me likey.

14 - Do You Even Kick Bro? - N/A

Had to take a few free agents to make the squad happen this season, which just means I'm jealous of the people whose first CLUBWAKA experience will be on this always-fun team.

15 - PurpleSaurus Rex - N/A

The brand is back after a Keep WAKA Weird Weekend outing reinvigorated the dino lovefest. All the competitive players have jumped ship so this will likely be the total shitshow team of years past.

16 - Jacked to the Kicks - N/A

Another Wednesday transplant, I have little to know knowledge of their game but look forward to learning more!

17 - Kickin' Grass and Takin' Names - N/A

A new crew that has totally maxed out their roster with 26 players. Don't expect much in the early weeks until they learn the ropes, but I have high hopes for a team that likes to party.