I met this girl, thick as hell
Only sixteen, said her name was Linell
I took her to my house, I could not wait
Her shit was much tighter than a Century Safe
Let me tell you this since we talking young
I met another girl, said her name was Yvonne
Always talking about having fun
Once again at the pad I had it going on
I'm Sir Too $hort, couldn't be no punk
I'm trying to get funky like "Female Funk"
So when you see me coming or see me going
I keep my money, let the hoes keep hoeingI once met a hooker, she did it for free
On the Foothill bus number forty-three
All the way in the back she was working me
Had my big beatbox and I was jamming the beat
I met this freak named Antoinette
Macked on the baby like an ice cold vet
Everything she had is what I get
Cause I'm Too $hort, baby, I don't play that shit
I met another freak, her name was Rita
Baby thought that Too $hort just might eat her
I told her like this, she can suck my peter
Or either go home cause I knew I didn't need her
Scratched her name out my telephone book
Never again took a second look
Cause the next young freak, her name was Sharon
She kept looking while I kept staring
Baby came through with my homeboy Darren
Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearing
She never left, he cut out
I know you all know what I'm talking about
There's a freak named Shannon, such a sinner
She smokes that pipe and she's getting thinner
Shane is cool but her mind is gone
One fat rock and it's going on
She had another buddy, came by my place
Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace
She walked in the door working lace
You shoulda seen that look that was on my face
She's like this tender named Belinda
Homeboys call her Belinda the Blender
She gave head like she made it up
She was twenty years old with a big round butt
Had a girl looked like Olive Oyl
Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled
When she got mad her blood would boil
But I wrapped her all up like aluminum foil

[Chorus x2]

Sugar Delight?
Friday night
It's going on
Too $hort

Three weeks ago I met this freak
She followed me around like Mary's sheep
I hid around the corner and when she came
I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name
She said it was Anita
Her man's in Santa Rita
I took her to my house and homeboy, I G'd her
Sent her on her way
The very next day
Playboy $hort was ready to play
I bumped into this girl, her name's Roxanne
We hit the motel and had it going on
Holiday Inn to the break of dawn
When I took baby home, I freaked her mom
I knew this tender named Shari
I took her to the house and let her freak on me
Baby was a fan, she loved my beat
But I wouldn't raise my leg and let her kiss my feet
I met this freak named Yolanda
Rolled baby doll like a brand new Honda
I was on top, she was up under
The bed hit the wall and it sounded like thunder
I once had a date with a girl named Kitty
She was so fine with big fat titties
All night long she was acting shitty
So I macked on baby like I was Frank Nitti
There's another girl, her name is Rose
I use to roll baby like brand new Vogues
I never saw Rose wearing clothes
She's a Penthouse pet, ready to pose
I was riding down the street when I met Janet
Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet
Ass everywhere, I just can't stand it
Tried to palm it but I could not manage
I had this freak, her name was Bunny
Said I'm the only man who ever called her honey
Everything I did to her was funny
I macked on Bunny and I took her money
Eight tonight a date with Shirlie
She was real short and her hair was curly
If you saw baby you liked this girlie
She was so fine I went to get her early
Shirlie was freaking like a girl named Rachel
Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal
She liked to kiss all on my navelThose are her lips on top of my label
I knew another freak, her name was Candy
Real big lips and they came in handy
I smooth got worked and it was so dandy
I hooked the broad up with my homeboy Randy
He did me a favor in return
Gave me a lizard, said her name was Laverne
Baby got tossed the I got on
I grabbed the microphone and starting singing my songMy young homeboy heard me rap
And said he had way more freaks than that
So I told him like this, they might be freaking
But, boy, you never had that T-P-Treatment...

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The Genius annotation is the work of the Genius Editorial project. Our editors and contributors collaborate to create the most interesting and informative explanation of any line of text. It’s also a work in progress, so leave a suggestion if this or any annotation is missing something.

“Freaky Tales” is often considered Too Short’s real breakout hit, released in 1987, in his first full major album release.

Freaky Tales is perhaps one of the most important songs in West Coast hip hop. The instrumental showed how the West Coast was beginning to develop a more distinct sound away from the East Coast. It was also the first “dirty” rap song to be released and gain mainstream attention in the United States, during a time when cussing even in rap was a no-no. It also marked the beginning of Too Short’s dirty rap image as well.

Incidentally, Too Short had said that the song was originally meant to be a parody of the pimping industry itself, and none of it was meant to be taken seriously.