Bite my Tongue

She got up when he did, but clearly not for the same reason. The amusement had left her face, even if the shock was still obvious. A fair share of sadness and despair crossed her face for a second before she stepped back from the edge of the hole, seemingly walking backwards against the stairs, but she was not planning on leaving just yet.Without taking her eyes from him she started sprinting towards the edge and jumped as far as she could. As she had expected she was by no means able to jump the gap, and the regret of whatever had crossed her mind and made her do this hit her as her upper body crashed against the hard edge of the hole on the other side. Her breath escaped her in a second of pure panic as her weakened arms clung to the edge, knowing all too well the blow had made sure she would be far too weak to pull herself up, and she was already quickly loosing her grip.

Without thinking he practically ran over to where she was, glaring at her in frustration of how stupid she was, but reaching out and clinging on to her upper body to make sure she did not fall. 'Can't you warn me for once before you decide to do something idiotic?' he murmered, annoyed, but his grip remained firm against her shoulders as he held her up and prevented her from falling, even as her own grip loosened. Moving to grab her arms he mustered up the strength to pull her up and onto his side of the floor, letting go of her the instance she was lying down safely on the floor.'Why the hell would you pull a stunt like that?' he exclaimed, exasperated with her. He grew even more frustrated when he processed the fact that he could have once again easily let her die, and yet had almost jumped at the oppurtunity to save her. As he thought about this he eventually stopped shouting at her, and instead fell into a hushed quiet as he tried to process what he was thinking.

She wanted to talk back, but found herself breathless, simply lying on the floor in desperation, still panicking at her failed attempts to draw air into her lungs. As her vision started fading to black she finally mustered a deep breathe, and releaved laid there for several more minutes saying nothing, simply focusing on her breath and the pain in her chest where she had hit the edge. It would probably leave bad bruises."Look at it as an experiment," she gasped mockingly in an annoyed tone, letting him know he had failed whatever she wanted to test. She sat up a bit too quickly, but she told herself it was fine. The sudden blow had simply left her momentarily in shock, and any pain she was experiencing she could easily ignore. Besides, that was not the main focus of her thoughts in that moment, and when she finally managed to get to her knees, though shaky, she stood up beside Rin.

He frowned at her, not liking the idea of her being able to test and manipulate him for seemingly no reason. It seemed to be an unfair response to what he had told her, and he stood besides her frustrated as he tried to comprehend how many times he would be willing to act exactly the same was as he had then. Worryingly he could not see many circumstances in which he would have responded any differently, which was not exactly the kind of answer he had been hoping for. 'It was not worth it' he said, looking at her and realising she had probably hurt herself more than she let on. 'You are supposed to have some kind of survival instinct!' he exclaimed. 'By comparison all you seem to want to do is collect wounds that will make your impending death even more likely!'

"And you should care?!" she snapped back. She knew he did to some extent, his recent actions had proved her right in that assumption, but the fact that he shouldn't was still obvious to them both. In all honesty she was no longer as annoyed at him as she usually was, but the interogation was tiresome, and she refused to talk to him about it. Whether or not she wanted to die had become a question even she didn't know the answer to.Taking a shaky step closer she laid a hand on his chest, as much to support herself as it was giving into the temptation of touching him, and before she could stop herself to think of her actions her lips was already resting on his, the hunger in her kiss giving away how long she had wanted to do just that, but forced herself not to for several reasons they should both know the answer to. However, all of these reasons had instantly left her mind as the bliss of just being this close to him overwhelmed her once again, just like it had done the last time they had met. Though she'd regret it later, she could not make herself pull away now.

He closed his eyes momentarily as she touched him, and in almost an instance he knew what was wrong with him. He needed her, being close as she was. Not like the need that fuelled his relationship with Lillith, but something beyond that which was almost foreign and yet stirring within him.He kissed her with a matched hunger, almost desperate as their lips met. He could not explain reasons as to why she had managed to have such a profound imapct upon him in such a short space of time, but there was some sort of connection that he could not explain that pulled himself towards her futher still.Breaking the kiss eventually he pulled away, a mixture of shock, fear and confusion upon his face as he had come to his realisation of what was happening to him. Quickly he retreated from her, shaking as if he was rejecting the emotions that were coming to the surfact inside him. He did not want this to happen, he had vowed not to allow this to happen. It simply could not, and as he turned away from her and leant his head against the wall he remembered this.

She was so lost in the kiss, it almost broke her heart when he pulled away. She could not explain the expression on his face, but he seemed about as lost as she was. She wanted to smile mockingly at his pathetic reactions, but all she could do was stare at him with the same despair and desperation he gave out, not in any way liking the way he looked in that instant.With shaky movements she pulled her iron knife out of her pocket and pointed it at him for a split second before she turned it in her hand, offering the shaft to him with a serious expression. She had finally found the answer to whether she wanted to die or not, and her conclusion was that she no longer cared. Whatever happened to her was out of her hands, and whatever did would bring her an equal amount of pain."Easy choice," she offered, staring at him to watch his reactions. Whatever he felt they both knew it would go away as soon as she was dead.

He looked at her from the corner of his eye, briefly turning around to see the knife she was pointing his way. However he pushed the blade away from him, knowing he would be unable to use it on her. Not in the state he was in. Sighing he walked away from her once more. 'You know I can't do that' he murmered. 'However easy you say the choice is. It doesn't matter what I should be doing, only that I can't.'He sat down, placing his head in his hands as he tried to think of what to do. He knew very easily that if she were to die now it would be painful, but not by any means as painful as if she died months later, when this idea in his mind had been able to grow. The best thing to do would be to cut this off right now, before anything could get even more out of hand than now. However looking up he knew he could not, nor would he willingly let it. Unless she was stupid enough to get herself caught without him knowing, he knew he would continue to try and keep her alive. It was futile, and he knew that, but still he would try.

"Stop kidding yourself!" she bursted out in pure frustration over his pathetic behavior. This wasn't the way she wanted to see him."Whatever you feel, whatever you think you're feeling, it's not real!" she said, but even as she uttered the words she realised she wished they weren't true. Still it was for the best, for both of them. She refused to let herself be weakened in such an insanely serious situation."Demons don't feel, remember?" she said, calming down, but staring at him seriously. It had been his own words a while back, and she still trusted them to be true. Rin had lied about much the times they had shared, but she hadn't doubted this for even a split second.

'Of course we feel!' he snapped back. 'We are like animals.. we pursue what we desire, we thrive off our rash and impulsive decisions. We need to feel pleasure, anger, excitment, or there would simply be no point in it all.' He stood up, realising he was being pathetic. He didn't enjoy the fact she could look done on him right now, and instead he walked slowly towards her.'Its not that we are trained to forget emotion, more we are taught which ones should be blocked out entirely and which ones we should focus our full attentions on instead' he sneered. Standing right by her, he looked into her eyes almost threateningly. 'And I thought you knew all about demons?' he mocked, this time more bitter in his voice.

She glared back at him, but her heart was racing when he stood so close to her. It was a constant battle between her heart and mind, and never in her life had her heart put up such a good battle as it was then. She still however, forced herself to talk back like always, almost out of habit."Until a few weeks ago I didn't even know you existed," she said through gritted teeth, obviously aggrivated by his mockery and teasing."I'm a fast learner, but how can you possibly expect me to know everything?" It was true, and she knew that Rin knew. The first time they kissed had been for that exact reason, she didn't know. She was always doubting herself, but forced herself to take action anyway. She was only human after all."And in that case," she smiled, though the smile seemed far softer than she had wished it. "They obviously didn't teach you well."

He glared at her even more so now. 'I have spent thousands of years without not even the slightest doubt' he muttered. 'And regardless of what this is, I still know its wrong. If I were not stuck in a place like this then I'm sure the issue would not have been quite so forced upon me' he added, trying to make some kind of explanation for his behavior, even if it was too late to be making one.He sighed. 'Besides, I did not expect you to know everything, just with that arrogant attitude of yours you act like you do.'He had to admit, he was suprised at her words. If her life before had been so oblivious then certainly much had changed about her since their arrival. He wondered whether he even would recognise her, or could imagine her in a bloodbath such as this. Then again people always changed. He supposed it was the same as comparing himself as a human to now. His past self, he was sure, would be disgusted at the sorry sight of him.

"I know enough," she said in spite, remembering all the things she had accomplished since they got trapped here. More than any of the other humans, she knew as much. It annoyed her how weak and fearful they were, forcing her to do everything on her own because no one else would."I would have already exorcised two of you if I hadn't-" she started, but cut herself short, not wanting him to know the true reasons for why she had stopped exorcising him. Truth was, she didn't want him gone any more than he did, but uttering that was both foolish and dangerous.

'Hadn't want?' he asked, teasingly, however there was also a real curiosity there. He knew that she had some sort of messed up feelings for him, and yet at that moment she had seemed so determined to get rid of him finally for once. And he would have let her, quite easily.'And you may know enough, but you still don't know the half of it' he said, more serious. He was concerned that her arrogance would only get her in more trouble, or that she would make foolish assumptions about things she did not fully understand.

She didn't want to answer his question, and so she simply looked away from him, her heart still racing faster than she had thought possible when he was standing so close to her. She was grateful however when he spoke again, giving her the chance to ignore his question, focusing rather on his second statement. The one she actually had a decent reply to.Looking up at him once again she wanted to push him away from her as to stop this infernal beating of her heart, but she could not make herself truely want him gone. A part of her still wanted him this close, and maybe even closer. The idea was absurd, but enough to make her visibly blush."I know more than you think," she told him back. "I know you're not all powerless," she glared, as if it was somehow his fault she had gone through the pain she had suffered that day. It was of course not his duty to tell her everything that might harm her, but if he was to warn her about someone as insignificant as Calcifer, could he not at least have told her about greater threats?

'I told you there were more powerful demons than I' he said. 'Looking at their eyes should be enough to let you know they are not good news.' He assumed she had come across Azazel, since he was the one she had already mentioned. However he had obviously left her in one piece, which he considered contradictory considering he criticised him for essentially doing the same.He knew she was blushing, and he too could feel himself distracted by the fact they were in such close proximerty once more. He looked away from her instead. 'It is not my job to protect you anyway, as you keep informing me.'

"If I remember correctly I told you to stop," she said, still glaring. She was not his pet, and it annoyed her how everyone seemed to refer to her as one. If anything Rin was the weak in their messed up, hateful relationship, and Miriam would not allow herself to be looked down on.She sighed, her expression softening as she could no longer fight with him. All spiteful words had already been said, and it was all just growing too tiresome. She did not mind fighting him, but she wanted at least a reason to do so, and for the time being she could find none."Not that you listened," she sighed, but no longer with a spiteful, harsh voice. When she spoke it was almost in a tired whisper.

'If you were expecting me to start then you may have to wait a while' he smirked. He doubted that he would ever accept what she told him at face value. Especially when the decisions she made were so stupid. 'Now' he said, focusing on something else as to not allow himself to become more weak. 'Since your foolish decision to jump we are stuck in a similar situation of you needing to be on the other side. And this time I cannot allow you to walk out of the Spire this way- its over the gap again or nowhere I'm afraid.' He looked at the plank of wood he had been considering using. 'Theres this.. I think its enough to support you across there if we position it right' he said. He did not particularly want her to leave, but he was getting more and more concerned over the possibility of a demon showing up and Miriam having nowhere to run.

She did not want to leave him so quickly, but her desires couldn't be voiced without extreme concequences, so all she did was nod and walk over to the plank he had showed her. It was thick, but it was still just a plank, and the mere idea of having to balance on it across such a wide gap made her sick with fear. She figured it was better than risking demons however, and so she did not complain. Instead, she stood there waiting for Rin to help her lift it. She was tired of fighting, but could not think of anything more to say, so she remained silent.

He moved over and helped her lift it, looking over at her as he did awaiting an indication that she was ready to lift it. Their eyes momentarily locked but he did not let them linger for long as he focused on lifting the wood and trying to figure a way of sliding it over the hole. They both moved it towards the edge, and then he put it down longways. 'I guess we push it?' he asked, not sure how else they would work this out. It was hardly sturdy, but he hoped she would still be able to make it.

She nodded, not sure what words she would use if she chose to speak to him, and started pushing almost without warning. It was hard, even harder than she had expected, but somehow they managed to get it across and as she stood up on weak, shaking legs she supported herself against the wall and looked at it. It had only barely been long enough, and it worried her how if it was pushed just a little further it would fall down, and she would no longer have a way across. Even worse, it could slide while she was on it, but she pushed that thought away, already scared as it was for crossing on nothing but a plank. There was also something else that stopped her, and she looked back to Rin wondering if he would tell her to leave already.

Hesistantly he looked at the plank, skeptical as to whether or not it would support her. It certainly was not sturdy. Knowing she would most likely cross relatively quickly without considering this, he brushed past her and stood on the plank himself. When it did not move, he slowly moved across it, knowing that if he was to fall then at least it would not be fatal like it would if it was her. When he reached the other side he looked back at her and smirked. 'That was just a test' he said, then leaning forward and offering her his hand. 'Your turn.' He did not care if she wanted his help or not, as long as she was this side then she was safe again in his eyes. She knew that too, and he hoped her arrogance would not stop her from accepting it.

She stared in shock once he crossed, not sure what he was upto. She only relaxed when he told her his purpose and offered her his hand, but even then was she suspicious. This was not like Rin in any case, and even if his previous words had rung true, this was a very strangely unexpected behavior by him. She couldn't say she preferred his usual, idiotic, arrogant self, but she still did not trust him any more than she had before.She took a few hesitant steps across the plank, finding her balance, but refused his hand at first. Though he had become weak, she would not allow herself to stoop to his current level. She however could not help but stare at his for once friendly expression, and mesmerized again by his deep, black eyes which seemed to penetrate her whenever they fell on her, she lost her balance, and in a split second reached out to grab his hand for support. Though stubborn and weak, she could not deny her fear of falling, and reluctantly accepted his help across.

As soon as she did not need him anymore he let go, keeping contact to a minimum. He then looked back at the way they had come, knowing he would need to cross back himself soon. He didn't particularly feel comfortable on this side either. Unlike Cali or Lillith, who were fascinated with interacting with the humans and learning more about them he just felt on edge when close to any large numbers of them. 'I should probably go' he murmered, realising being here was probably a step too far.

She positioned herself between him and the stairs, just in case he was up to something stupid. In either case he would only get himself exorcised rather quickly, but she still felt the urge to be on the safe side, just in case. She never knew what idiotic things he could make himself do."You probably should," she said, but staring at him the weak, longing expression within her was clear on her face. She didn't want him to go, she only wanted herself to want him gone. She had long ago settled with the idea she could never want him gone though, and as she stared at his captivating eyes she couldn't help but want to take a step closer to him, and so that was exactly what she did.