Tuesday, January 22, 2008

vantage point

After our very long lunch, Kevin brought us to the Jinmao observatory tower to see the aerial view of Shanghai. This tower was designed by SOM, an architectural firm that Robert once thought of working for, so I think he would've approved. It is one of the better-looking skyscrapers of Shanghai.Unlike the Pearl Tower (the one with the round bulb) which not only looks a bit like a skewer of two tomatoes, it is strangely purple-pink. I feel pretty certain Robert would've scoffed at it. But it is very striking and one of the memorable buildings in the skyline

And it is only from this vantage point, from way above, that I see what Robert had told me about Shanghai. He had called it a modern architect's dream, a city without any rules--allowing an architect to design his/her dream. Shanghai is an enormous hodgepodge of buildings, seemingly built upon eachother. And perhaps because I know how much Robert would have loved to have seen this, it is here that I see how much my life has changed. Faster than I had anticipated, I have created a new life for myself with a future that looks different than expected.

So, strangely, the pangs of grief I suddenly feel are not for myself but for him. It is for all the dreams he had that will not come true, all the plans he made that will not happen and all the things he wanted to see but never will.I am glad, at least, I will see some of them for him.