Friday, April 24, 2009

U-Turn

As my pregnancy progressed I found myself revisiting the events and feelings of my first birth. I desperately wanted a totally different birth experience. I had fears of having a repeat c-section. I had confidence that I would have a successful VBAC but at the same time little thoughts of doubt would enter. I never was worried about the actual VBAC, I was worried about another birth happening in a different way than I had hoped and planned for.

Some doubts caused me to think what if I end up needing another c-section? I thought of the money it would cost because I would be paying for the midwives and then the hospital. I thought of my mental well being if I had to go through it all again. Those doubts would come and go throughout the beginning of my pregnancy.

So how did I overcome it? During my research I found out that even if I ended up with another c-section going through the labor was definitely beneficial to me and the baby. Also knowing that the baby was ready to be born rather than automatically scheduling a c-section when the baby might not be ready. I also realized that if I tried for a VBAC and for some reason it didn't work I would know that the c-section was absolutly necessary. I knew if I didn't try than I would always wonder if I could've done it. So there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to try.

3 comments:

Thanks for sharing! I can't wait to read more of your posts as time goes on. I had an unplanned c-section in December 2008. I had planned a "minimum intervention" birthing strategy with my doctor. Due to preeclampsia, though, I had pitocin for 2 days, another procedure I don't remember the name of to force my cervix to dilate, a few hours of 90 second contractions 100 seconds apart (so just 10 seconds break), then I asked for an epidural, they broke my water with my permission and did internal fetal monitoring (there was already a lot going wrong), and when his heart rate was dropping severely for long periods both on and off the pitocin, they did a c-section. Turns out his cord was half the width of a normal cord and couldn't handle compressions, plus it was wrapped twice around his neck. My hindsight conclusion is that not all of the interventions were necessary, but the c-section was. However, I still had to grieve my loss of a vaginal birth and had trouble internalizing the connection between this beautiful baby boy in my arms (with whom I bonded just fine) and the pregnancy. I didn't push him out, and it seemed like someone had just given him to me. I don't know if I would have felt that way with a vaginal birth too, but it was strange. I don't plan to have another birth for awhile (my scar is still healing, for one, and I need to lose some weight to minimize the chances of having pre-e again), but I'm already preparing myself to work towards a VBAC.

Stephanie, I'm so glad you found my blog---how did you come across it? Thank you so much for sharing your story and congrats on your baby! It is wonderful you are preparing yourself to work towards a VBAC with your next one. I wish you the best and if I can be of any help let me know!

Kari---it was so fun getting to know you that first time we met and forming this bond as fellow VBAC mom's and developing a friendship. I would love for you to share your story on here!

About Me

I am a wife, a mom, a follower of Christ, and a business owner. I started my business, Bella Joy Creations in 2008 and enjoy being creative by making my own jewelry and home decor items. You can find my website at www.bellajoycreations.com. I love finding new projects to make and now I just have to find time to work on them. :)
I also am passionate about VBACs and had my VBAC in 2006. I started a VBAC blog, www.thepathtovbac.blogspot.com to help others. Since then I also have become a co-leader of the ICAN of Salem group.