“Night Court, USA,” a show that was
syndicated in the late 1950s and early ’60s, was not like other “reality”
courtroom shows. There was actually very little reality to it. Here’s the
format:

The clerk reads the
charges and asks the defendant how he or she pleads. Usually, it’s “guilty”—but
with an explanation, the plea often being entered by the deputy public
defender. The lawyer then generally retreats to the background while his
client, standing in the “well,” addresses the court. There’s no prosecutor;
there are no private attorneys. The judge, played by actor Jay Jostyn, hears
unsworn testimony and imposes a sentence. Or not. If the crime doesn’t seem all
that serious—such as a woman who ranted at the screen in a theater during the
showing of a Humphrey Bogart flick because the girl friend Bogie abused kept
coming back for more—the jurist will simply dismiss the charge.

Actor Jay Jostyn
portrayed thejudge on "Night Court, U.S.A."

If the defendant pleads
“not guilty,” that means probably there will be a trial, but the judge listens
to what the defendant wants to say. Unless inclined to dispose of the matter
with leniency, he orders the accused misdemeanant into custody to await his or
her day in court.

Among those arraigned on one of the episodes
is one Martha Wilton. Feigning sweetness, she tells the judge that she is “not
guilty” and that “[I]t was just a silly mistake.”

Sheepish and haltering,
she proclaims embarassment over the incident, and the deputy public defender
(played by Barney Biro) comes forth to assure her: “Miss Wilton, suppose you
tell his honor the story just as you told it to me and I’m sure he won’t keep
you much longer.” He returns to his seat.

The defendant explains
that she long ago resolved herself to the fact that she was not attractive. She
had “never had a real date”—that is, not until “George” came along.

“Ever since George asked
me to marry him last night,” she tells the judge, sobbing, “I’ve just been
going around in a circle.”

That afternoon, George,
unable to find a parking space, dropped her off at a department store to
purchase her trousseau, expecting to join her after coming upon a place to
leave his vehicle. She tried on garments and, with the store about to close,
threw her coat over those garments and headed out to find George to get the
money to pay for them. But, alas, the store detective stopped her, and she was
arrested.

“Martha, that was a
beautiful story,” the judge comments, to which she responds, humbly, “Thank
you, your honor.”

The judge continues:

“Anyone passing judgment
on you would have to be hard of heart not to let you walk out of here.”

She is about to be
released, it appears.

To the contrary, the
judge goes on to tell Wilton: “You still tell it
beautifully.” He reflects that about 10 or 12 years earlier, he heard her
relate the same tale.

“It moved me then,” he
remarks. “That’s why I let you tell it again.”

Sternly, he declares:

“I’m going to hold you
over for trial since you’ve pled not guilty. You’ll be served with a
subpoena….You’ll be held until a subpoena is issued and you’ve had your
hearing. All right, deputy, take her along.”

The defendant is led off
to the “tank.”

In other cases (among those contained
on .RAM files obtainable on the web):

•A man with a heavy
eastern European accent is charged with violating Penal Code §899, “public
speaking without a license.” He was caught, the judge recites, making “comments
about the president of the United States” and other officials that “bordered on
sedition.” The defendant, a zealot, proclaims that “America is being sucked into a
sewer”and blames the president for national secrets being leaked to the enemy.
His honor tells him: “It appears obvious you’re in the employ of a subversive
organization or you need a psychiatrist.” The judge proclaims: “You’re
committed to the city hospital for examination”and advises: “Should you be
found normal—an outside possibility—you’ll be returned to this court.”

•A man is charged with
violation of “Code §3215, destroying property.” He had found a pornographic
magazine in the possession of his 10-year-old son and, enraged, proceeded to
wreck the cigar store where it was sold. The judge sentences the man to make restitution
to the shopkeeper and requires him to join the PTA in order to participate in
concerted action against sales of pornographic matter to minors and to “report
back to this court on the progress you make regarding this situation.”

Do you suppose these
episodes will be shown at the Judges’ College in Berkeley as training films?