Monday, March 16, 2009

Just who are you?

Now who am I? Some people have been around ever since I wrote my first post and I met all of them through the internet. Not a lot of people who I have met outside internet life know this little space of mine.

I'm a not so normal person leading an extraordinary life. I say extraordinary because of the people and the environment around me and the beauty I find in things that I'm interested in or I happen to encounter. I say a not so normal person because I'm half crazy like what my Username states LOL. Kidding aside, it's HalfCrazy because of whatever randomness comes out of my mouth and how I try to break stereotypes, being mature and immature, being interested in out of this world things, and being funny and serious at certain times.

I remember the person I was, someone who was stupid enough to not read books, someone who can't stand to watch a movie for 2 hours or more, someone who doesn't know life enough (it's not like I know it face to face, though!), one who lacks patience, doesn't know how to respect and care, and the list goes on and on. I look back and I hate myself for being someone I don't even know! Okay, I know for a bit, but I want to be someone who I want to lead an extraordinary life, not a normal life with the same shit, not one of those people who just follow the people around them without having a say as if they do not own their lives! I was one of the teens that people love to hate.

So I changed, even if I don't remember what phase exactly but I do know it was one point in my life where my family and I were caught up in a crisis and I was having a little bit of trouble with someone else. A time when before going to sleep, even if I hardly get any that time, I'm like, "What's gonna happen, tomorrow is another day but it will be another one of those days I have to face without nothing." I don't know if you guys ever get that feeling, being mad and bitter at the world for having some sort of catastrophe to befall on you. I don't want to live those days again but those days taught me many things about life. I'm not saying I'm an expert but being in that situation and surviving it, getting over it, it made me feel.. well, strong, like I can take on anything. Like what's worse than that time of my life, right? But I know that's not the worse life has to offer, I know there are still many hurdles to jump over but while things are doing good now, I have to enjoy the moment. Take in everything and engrave it on my mind and pray it's gonna stay there for many years to come.

This is just a random photo hahaha. I look stupid LOL

I'm not perfect but I'm trying to get to know myself better, trying to be a good person, trying to do whatever is more appropriate, be open to more ideas and all that "Me, only better!" stuff. I'm just thankful having these wonderful people around me especially my family and my friends that are always around and people that I have yet to meet. Now I can say my life is extraordinary because of them and I know it gets much better from there, probably until the day I die. Or maybe I'm just saying that.

- - -

Just some ramblings I really wanted to get off my chest. I can't do any of these 'expressing' in real life hahaha. Now I want to hear whatever you have to say because I'm all about the love!

Do you think your life is extraordinary? Do you look at your life in a different point of view? Can you tell who you were back then and why did you change? Are you happy with your life right now?

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going." The hardest hurdles are the ones that make us stronger. ;) Change is always a good thing if you're good at adapting to it. I say this because for me, 3 things in life are certain:1. Death 2. Taxes 3. Change

"Know thyself." Socrates was right when he etched that onto the rock. Introspection is what is necessary in life. You have to wonder how many problems and confrontations and arguments could be avoided if we each knew ourselves, if we all were honest and upfront about who we were. If we could come to terms with our shortcomings we could remedy them much easier.

Reject the normal, because it's not what you want to be, its what everyone else wants YOU to be. You're right, you've changed. You've changed into a person that enjoys life more than the banal and rudimentary. I wish I could tell you how rare that is in the world today. We have a sleepwalking epidemic going on all over, but it's reassuring to see that more people are waking up.

@Faisal - Hahaha, you're right. Ah well, I'm not trying to be the best, I just want to be a better person. Besides, I'm always the follower but never the leader. Exactly, humans are not perfect and that's why we're admirable!

@Garando - I agree, so I'll probably be stronger when the times comes. Heck, I'm only 17! Don't know about them taxes, I'll probably understand better as time goes by! I feel it whenever I order something from Jollibee, though. LOL.

@Wrench - Thanks for reminding about Socrates. I try to get to know myself better but it's hard! Like, I know what I don't want but I don't know what I want. So I can't really say what I'm like so I let friends just tell something about me. I think my friends know me better sometimes than I know myself. I'll harass people to wake up and not be normal, to not just be another human walking on Earth, hahaha. Thanks for all your thoughts, I always love hearing from you.

I think it's great that you went through some adversity and came out a better person rather than a bitter person. Too many people never recover from the bad parts of life and go on to live the rest of their lives miserable. Yay to you for being strong!

I do believe they say "that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and that's exactly what happened with you!

I think you're awesome and yes going tru a trying time in your life really does bring out the strength and maturity in us all.

I have been through alottttt in my life as well.. most of it I don't put on my blog well.. just because it would be off topic to my niche.. but I do believe that everything I've ever had to face made me the strong person I am today. When you've seen the edge of the cliff and how far the drop down is... you live your life so that you'll never have to fall.

To answer your questions at the end.

I think the fact that I'm alive is extraordinary lol. Seen the dark side too many times not to realize that my life is a gift. Yes I do look at my life in a different point of view. Who I was back then was just a typical girl, not realizing that not everything in life is what it seems. Being too naive and gulible. I changed in that I learned to see what's real from fake. I learned who really cared for me in my life, and who just pretended to. It's made a huge impact.

I'm thrilled with my life right now. Actually waking up and being happy to face to day is an amazing feeling.

lol. I think I just wrote a blog post on your blog haha.. sorry to be so long.. your post just hit home sorta :)

life is just what happens every day. its not fair, its not easy, sometimes it doesn't seem to have any meaning at all. just getting up and moving one foot in front of the other is all it takes. what you put into life is what you get out of life....but then you already know that, jc

how old you said you are? a pretty "deep" post. i do not think you have to worry to much about transition periods, you will deal with them. just get on the beach with your friends, grab a bier and...talk. As you (almost) mentioned, those close to you can make your life easier. Take care and get entertained yourself.P.S. uhh,it took me a while to figure out how to post, it was necessary a sign in i think.

@Faisal - I'm the one in the middle, by the way. I'm the only one who's not looking so yeah, stupid LOL. I looked like a Deer caught in the headlights.

@Trini - Aww, I am touched, beautiful comment or blog post LOL. I don't mind the long comment. I always love 'em. I loved what you said about the cliff thing, it made me think. I think you're awesome too because you think your life is extraordinary because you're alive and pretty wealthy, not like the people out there who are starving or who don't have their jobs! I'm glad you're happy with your life. I'm glad we're fortunate enough.

@Patty - Thanks for the kind words, Ms. Patty. Of course I want to be of importance; I just don't want to be another human walking on Earth hahaha. I didn't know you're already 61, it doesn't seem like that. You always find time to write blog posts, take photos, comment on other people's pages.. so much energy! Thanks for the very inspiring message! :)

@Jackc50 - Exactly! I don't find Life hard or easy at all! It's like a mix of both lol. Life is like, totally random hahaha.

@InfoWebExplore - I'm 17, turning 18 in a few months! I'm getting old LOL. Ah well, it's just a number but it is still bothering me hahaha. My friends.. they're the best medicine I know. Lol, now you know how it works with the logging in thing hahaha.

What a fascinating deep post! Loved reading it...you are way more mature for your age than most people your age! A lot of things can't be learned in books, as I'm sure you know. Our life experiences teach us a lot, even if we don't "get it" at the time, eventually that "ah ha" moment will come.

So many good comments, what can I add? LOL

Me? I wouldn't say my life is extraordinary. It's not dull either. Yes, I am happy with my life right now! I am still the same person I was "back then." You can't help but get older and wiser by learning from your mistakes. And I'm sure I've made a few along the way. You just have to keep looking forward, since you can't change the past.

Whats funny about a blog or journal like this is you can actually see how you are someone has evolved a little bit per say grown up or matured I love your blog and your outlook is very inspiring..Zman sends

@The Clandestine Samurai - Hey, thanks for stopping by! It's great to know that there are some changes in a very positive way. I'm sure your life is also extraordinary if you consider that you're lucky just having to face the computer when somewhere out there, a kid is suffering from famine or something.

@Steve - Thanks Zman, you inspire me too, especially about you being a Cancer patient, just fighting and surviving! I'll look back after a year and read whatever I wrote in here. Let's see if I laugh or feel a pang of sadness or something, hahaha.

Very interesting post. Glad to hear you picked up J.L Seagull, hope you are not disappointing. One of my favorite quotes from that is 'Overcome space and all you have is here, overcome time and all you have is now.'

Great stuff. Your post was pretty insightful. I wrote a poem once entitled 'I Am'. It was pretty long but here's a taste. I promise the whole poem isn't about what kinds of food I am haha.

@Jack - Your first name's Jack, right? C might be your last name and you're around 50? Hahaha lol. Anyway, I'm the one in the middle. Now that is Deer in the headlights look.

@Padfoot and Prongs - Yeah, there were a lot of great quotes, those were one of my favorites too. Finished it in almost an hour lol! Thanks for the recommendation. That's a pretty good poem and it's not really long, haha. Care for some explanation here and there? I'm not quite I sure I understand all of it. It's about you, anyway. :)

"It's cool to know that you're the same person back then but of course, there are some modifications here and there, right?"

ok, you got me LOL...yes I definitely made some modifications in my life, probably around the age of 23. Up until then, I seemed to, for the most part live my life a certain way just to "fit in." I was just fortunate to have lots of close friends and family through the years and to this day.

@Leafless - That's good to know, I hope your life becomes much more extraordinary, you deserve it! :)

@John - I think people around that age are learning to fit or has already fit in! It's one of the fun years even if I'm just 17 LOL. You just gotta love those friends and family. Whenever I'm depressed over something, I hang out with them for about an hour and all my depression goes away. Now that's a good medicine, all natural, ain't it? LOL. Oh the drama!

Well, you don't sound half-crazy to me!!It's good that you have learned so much at such a tender age and just remember to always have an open mind and continue to learn. Life is a learning process and we never stop growing.Sounds life you have a great head on your shoulder's and an amazing heart :)

Just came by to say hello on Thursday morning after you left the nice comments on my blog, half-crazy.Very interesting ramblings... I can very much relate, and I'm 50 years old... The passages and changes you speak of are a good thing, and will continue as you seek to grow and find contentment in life.

HC,One of the things that I enjoy the most about your blogs is you seem to lay it all out there in such a fresh, free spirited, honest way. Overcoming adversity is admirable & you seem to have things going in a very positive and happy direction.I am extremely happy and fortunate. I think I try to live life to the fullest and stay true to who I am.Great blog as always.

knowing yourself more is a lot better than to be perfect. i wouldn't know what it feels like to be a perfect person but somehow, i can feel it will be boring. (i can only guess it's like you know how to solve a very complicated mathematical equation even before you try solving it. i like it when i get to go back a few operations, re-trace my steps, delete or change some variables, then, get to the answer.)

@Mav - Such nice words, can't actually swallow and digest 'em hahaha! I have never thought my blog to be that way but I always try to keep things light and fun instead of being overly serious and boring! It's cool that you are happy and living life to the fullest! Let's watch more movies, I guess? Hahaha!

@e[k]stranghero - For some reason, I can't get in your blog, seems like it's private? Anyway, I agree with you! Being perfect is so boring! It's fun to have some mistakes here and there! You lost me in your comment when you said something about the mathematical equation. Can't handle that part very well, it's got Math in it, hahaha!

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If you let me, you won't forget me.

My life? I go to school in the day, I go to work at night. I got the best of both worlds, so I got nothing but words to spit out. It gets lonely but sometimes it just feels right. This is my life ruled by a 3-month contract and a ticking time bomb towards the day Imma throw my hat up in the air, bypassing plight.