In Memory Of...

“Why did this have to happen?” It was just another car accident in this messed up place we call a world don’t even think Neptune has this much destruction. I sat in my mom’s room, crying, sobbing Feeling like it should’ve been me. Thinking about how to fix it even though I know that it can’t be fixed. You can’t fix it after it’s already been done. It is one of the ONLY things in the world that cannot be fixed after it’s too late Death is not fixable until before it happens or right after it happens not hours after it’s all been said and done Even then it still isn’t really fixable because you can’t cheat death if it’s your time to die

I was having a bad day at school thinking it was going to be better at home. I was wrong! Completely and terribly wrong because it only got worse. It got so much worse that not even if I had gotten everything would I be cheered up No, the only thing that would’ve made it better is if I could go back to the moment that it happened and been there to stop it.

At that moment my whole world was crushed into pieces and I felt like I wasn’t even there anymore I then pictured myself standing in front of the dead body. Unable to move or even speak. The world stood still and I was crushed. I didn’t know what to do at that moment. I went from mad to happy because of playing with my cousins, to in shock to a complete emotional breakdown.

My heart shattered and I moved into a moment where the world around me disappeared. I fell to the ground and screamed unable to see or speak. I felt an agonizing pain. I could feel someone jab a sword into my heart and rip my chest open. My heart fell out of my chest onto the floor and shattered into billions and billions of pieces. My heart was a shattered picture frame of her and I couldn’t let it go.

The day of my cousins death was tragic After school she had her routine. she would go to the park until her mom called her home. Today after school things went terribly wrong. She went to the park as usual and played with her friends.

When her mom told her to come home a car was speeding down the road but nobody seen it. She went to cross the street but by the time the car was in sight she was already half way there. The car kept going without any notice of the six year old girl. The car caught her and had her by the hair while it kept going with her mom, brother, and sister witnessing the scene. After two blocks of screaming and crying the car finally let loose of her hair but by then she was unresponsive. her mom called an ambulance and tried to give her CPR.

When the ambulance finally got there she was on IV and then they went to the hospital and she had to get tubes down her throat and that was her last moment and the last image her parents, my grandma, my mom and her brother and sister had of her.

That last image of her shattered and was no longer there. I had no other feeling than pain. My heart bursted into flames and I was screaming. If it didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have been in this situation, I wouldn’t be in agonizing pain and I wouldn’t have felt so extremely suicidal at the time.

“This was the worst day of fall that I have ever had,” I said to myself.”I should’ve never came home, I know I stayed after but I should’ve stayed longer.”

My mom told me,”Lydia died last night.”

I lost it at that very moment, “ How could this happen? It isn’t possible! Your lying to me!!”

“I’m not lying I’m sorry” She said trying to hold all of her tears and emotions back. By that time I was on the floor screaming and she had to let it all go.

My dad asked, “Do you want to stay home tomorrow?”

“No” I said even though all of the walls and furniture were telling me to say yes.

“Well do you want to see a counselor?” he asked also trying not to cry.

“No” I said sure of myself that time. My heart was crushed like someone had just stomped on it.

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