Yep. That’s what I did on Sunday. Gave God a “way out.” Oh, and in case you’re not sure which definition I mean, it’s this one:

Noun

1.

way out – an opening that permits escape or release; “

Wasn’t that incredibly generous of me?!?!? To give the Creator and Master of the Universe an excuse…in my mind…..to NOT answer my prayer?!?!?

Let me back up…

I had BOLDLY prayed the last couple of days for a very specific answer, well actually a very specific way of the answer. I guess I “put out the fleece.” Oh, I did ask Him to forgive me if doing that was inappropriate. Because I obviously know that it’s presumptuous for me to expect Him to ‘jump through hoops’ for me. I know that Scripture tells me not to test God. I know that asking for a sign or “putting out the fleece” is a sign of weak faith. Of doubt. Of unbelief. Of not trusting Him.

But because He is a a patient and loving Abba, Daddy, He knows me and my heart and my struggle to trust Him completely and wholeheartedly. He knew I NEEDED to pray what I did, that I NEEDED Him to answer that specific way. He knew I NEEDED that assurance that He loves me. That He hears me. I NEEDED to know I mattered to Him. I NEEDED to know for absolute certain that I was doing what He wanted. I had prayed “Help me in my unbelief” earlier.

And He knew that I could give Him all the GLORY because I would have NOTHING to do with how it was answered. Or making it happen that exact way.

However…….although I prayed right before church “Be the God Who Answers Prayers, Be the God Who Provides,” AND although one of the songs we sang actually had the phrase “the God Who Provides” (yes, quite a GC, isn’t it?) AND although the sermon touched on some of the things I had journaled about this past week, I STILL gave God a “way out”….but not really.

My head-thought process went something like this….imagine a Eeyore-type voice: “Oh, I’m sure God probably won’t answer my prayer EXACTLY in the way I asked. I need to be prepared. He probably will not want to answer it the way I expect….that’s not the way He works. Sigh… It’s all in His timing, not mine….”

Then…unbidden….came my HEART-thought process: “But I REALLY NEED Him to answer it that way. If He doesn’t, it won’t help my faith…” And that does not make me proud to admit that my NEED for the exact answer to prayer was something so strong and dramatic.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about Jesus being the Door – that we can either prop the door open to let Jesus in or wedge it shut to keep Him out. I also told this story: A few years ago, I painted a canvas with all the accusations of satan on one side with the Words of Truth on the other. It was a time when I was struggling with believing those accusations. One night, I heard the words “Just shut the door” and when I woke up, I painted the open door in between the words and named the painting “The Door Between Truth and Lies.”

You know that maddening experience when you walk into a room to do/get something and have totally forgotten why you were there? The good news is that you’re not having a “senior moment” or worse. There’s a scientific explanation! And you can place the blame on the DOORWAY!

I just heard about this study on the radio this morning that suggests that it’s the very act of walking through a doorway that causes these strange memory lapses. It’s called an “event boundary” experience

This site says “Why on Earth do we have a memory system that forgets stuff as soon as we change our environment? Maybe it actually has a survival advantage. A new environment is unknown, and might be dangerous. So it makes sense to forget the old environment and put all your attention on the new (emphasis mine). Forget about the killer gorillas in the forest you just left and start looking for the killer lions on the open plains you have just entered.”

All this made me think of the Doorway we pass through when we accept Jesus as our Savior. That Doorway leads to eternal life, to righteousness through His blood, to a life free from condemnation. Hebrews 8:12:

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

So if God “remembers our sins no more,” then we need to do the same. Not only for others, but also for ourselves!

We need to “forget the old environment and put all your attention on the new.”

Last night during the wee hours of non-sleeping that I occasionally often experience, I found Joyce Meyer on TV talking about Pressing Past Guilt and Shame. I found a Part 1 (Learn to live with a “righteous consciousness” rather than a “sin consciousness” so you can get rid of the past and move toward your future) and Part 2 (Move beyond negative emotions and begin enjoying who God created: YOU!) online. Oh yeah…just another GC.

She speaks of satan telling us -and our agreement with him – of all the things we are NOT. Jesus wants us to forget all that…and remember WHO WE ARE IN HIM!

Pressing on Toward the Goal – Philippians 3:12-14:

12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Let’s walk through that Doorway and have an “event boundary” experience.

Early Saturday morning. Brain still not completely awake. Pouring rain.

I try to read my directions without crashing the car and realize I missed my exit. I pull over, reconnoiter and decide to find next exit, re-enter the I-5 South, exit, re-enter I-5 North, and finally take the exit for the road I needed.

Although this scenic route only added about 5-10 minutes to my trip, I’m now truly annoyed, tense, and concerned that I will be late. Not a good thing. Soon I see slowing traffic, flashing red lights, someone on the freeway directing cars to the far left lane. Steam rising up from the pavement, adding mystery and a sense of dread. Three cars scattered across the road, smashed and dented, with the focal point: a car upside down. People standing at the edge, comforting each other.

As my brain wakes up, it understands that this accident had happened only minutes before. There is single police car. One officer lining up orange cones, isolating the scene. Another officer with those involved. No ambulance, no paramedics.

First thought: Oh, no. I pray no one’s hurt badly. How scary!

Second thought that closely follows: That could have been me. How scary!

Missing my exit…was it my mistake? My lapse in attention?

Or was I being watched over? Guided? Protected?

Now please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t believe that God likes me better than those people in the accident so He protected me and not them. But I choose to believe that He has a plan for me that didn’t include that accident. Don’t know why or what. I do know that I was able to share that story with someone who believes there IS a God, who knows ABOUT Him, who was influenced by my belief in a God who CARES about me and has a plan for me….

How many times are the annoyances and inconveniences in our lives actually Divine Protection or God’s Direction? Do we realize that there is more going on behind the scenes? Do we believe that God sometimes “re-routes” our trajectory for a good reason? Don’t we usually think we’re in control and feel a little cranky when our plans go awry?

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.” And sometimes that has to be enough, I guess.

BE ALERT, BE GRATEFUL, BE TRUSTING.

Just another GC: This was written last week (just not published)….for certain people who may be wondering…Jesus, You rock!