So yesterday I worked out that I'd passed the 3 week mark. I found this fact suprising!

I'm suprised beacuse I expeted to feel differently now. The last time i did this I remeber still feeling weak. I remember being weepy and unsure on an almost hourly basis still at this point. Now for the most part I don't think of it at all for hours on end. I think the knowledge from last time I quit has helped. I know this time what I am like as a non-smoker, so i'm less scared of loosing my identity.

On the flip side, I still have moments when I want to cry and the cravings I am getting are somehow worse.... Yesterday I had a craving so bad I actually had my e-cig during the day at work. (I have a 0 nicotine one I've been using just when drunk!) I guess this was the first time I've been proper stressed since quitting.

I just couldn't shake the craving. It was like an itch I couldn't scratch.

I think I just hate the process. I either want to be a smoker or a non-smoker. Truthfully for the most part I am happy either way. In the same way that I sometimes wish I didn't smoke when I was a smoker, I sometime wish I did when I'm a non-smoker. I just hate this bit in the middle where I'm not sure which i am!