Overheard in the bar line at the Mahalia Jackson Theatre (woman to man): “Wow! You should donate your hair to Locks of Love.”

Scorpions

The metal mane in question was indeed lush. It was also rare, at the Ratt/Scorpions show Monday night. The impressive crowd that nearly bought out the Mahalia Jackson Theatre was not letting its freak flag fly, to outside appearances, quite so definitively. (Remember that week in the very early 90’s when Chris Cornell, James Hetfield and Tommy Lee all, apparently, went to the barbershop together? These guys got that memo.)

But that doesn’t mean they didn’t rock.

The theatre was packed to near capacity with fans who mostly appeared to have been following the two 80’s hard-rock legends since their peaks – that is, let’s just say nobody was getting carded. And almost to a man – and woman – they were proudly sporting proof that they continued to rock hard in the present day. The uniform was blue denim and black concert tour T-shirts of recent vintage: Testament 2009. Ted Nugent 2010. Def Leppard 2009. Judas Priest 2008. Iron Maiden 2008. Alice in Chains 2007. Van Halen 2007. Megadeth 20th Anniversary. Plus a few Ronnie James Dio memorial T-shirts.

When the headliners, the Scorpions, took the stage at about 9:30 p.m., happy pandemonium reigned. The German monsters of rock, formed the mid-60’s, transformed the midsize theater into an arena with mountains of LED-screen risers and huge video displays featuring pixilated shots of the band and crowd.

The Scorpions have had a lot of practice, and they’re masters of spectacle. Pint-sized singer Klaus Meine leapt and bounded; lanky guitarist Rudolf Schenker (they’re kind of like a Teutonic, hard-rock Mutt and Jeff) windmilled. Lights flashed. The only odd note was that during a trio of power ballads – “The Best Is Yet To Come,” (off of their latest album) “Winds of Change” and “Holiday” – the house lights rose halfway. Did management intend to discourage the waving of lighters? A few flickered anyway during the major hit “Winds of Change,” accompanied onscreen by footage of the Berlin Wall falling, but mostly, only iPhones were lifted in the air, recording video.

At one point in the 90-minute set, drummer James Kottak – the rightly named Kottak Attack – held down the show solo atop a continuously rising and falling hydraulic drum riser, playing and mugging along with a ten-minute video montage that cast him in brief skits inspired by Scorpions album covers. At its end, he mounted one of his two bass drums and shouted “You kick ass!” to the crowd before taking off his shirt to reveal an identical shirt reading “You Kick Ass.” (Then he took off that shirt to show he was wearing one underneath that proclaimed, “Rock n’Roll Forever.” Finally, off came the third shirt to reveal the bare skin of his back – emblazoned with a “Rock n’Roll Forever” tattoo. Rock is a commitment.)

For the encore – and like the pros they are, the Scorpions made the audience wait, and wait, and wait – the band started off with “No One Like You” before finally kicking into their best-known hit, 1984’s“Rock You Like A Hurricane.” And if there was any question as to how New Orleanians, who know firsthand that to be rocked like a hurricane is not exactly pleasant, would react, it was answered within the first few notes. The crowd went crazy. The band responded in kind. Klaus Meine leapt up and braced himself to stand on one of each guitar players’ thighs in a sort of cheerleader pyramid. Guitar windmills! Picks and drumsticks for all, flying through the air! Thank you, New Orleans!

If the Scorpions transformed the Mahalia Jackson into an arena, openers Ratt reveled in its most basic amenities. The renovated theatre is lovely, particularly the grand chandeliers in the halls, but the showroom, its plain self – down to the furled American flag on a pole downstage right – kind of recalls a college auditorium. And Ratt, who dropped their latest, “Infestation,” in April – their first studio release in a decade - played like a no-frills garage-rock band who suddenly got to take over the school.

Notably, Ratt’s sound was muddier than the Scorpions’, but that only seemed to add to the down and dirty basement vibe. 51-year-old singer Stephen Pearcy was appropriately desiccated, and prowled the stage in a sheer mesh top and skintight black pants with a spangled crotch and plenty of decorative scarves at his hip. The tight, 60-minute set ripped through classics like “Wanted Man,” “Nobody Rides For Free,” “The Morning After” and the closing signature hit, “Round and Round,” encouraging many, many devil-horn salutes.

If Pearcy seemed winded at points (he had hernia surgery earlier this year, which caused Ratt to cancel a few European dates) it wasn’t a problem; lead guitarist Warren DeMartini was easily able to step in as the star of the show. Probably the most nonchalant axe-slinger in the business, even in his very late 40’s DeMartini oozes casual cool – even when shredding to high heaven, he keeps a lazy posture and a “Gee – did I just completely rock? Imagine that,” look on his face. Former Quiet Riot guitarist Carlos Cavazo, who now fills the shoes of Ratt’s late original co-lead man Robbin Crosby, even grinned when DeMartini reached over to tweak one of the tuning pegs on his Gibson Flying V in the middle of a loose, stomping, bluesy guitar duel.

Twenty-plus years past their peak, the Scorpions can still lord over an explosive fireworks show – and Ratt can still slink, with impeccable, raggedy cool, as if between trash cans on the Sunset Strip.

And fans the bands’ own age will still buy up nearly every last seat, and hardly sit in them at all.