Constant lying

by Nikki
(Dover, DE)

My ex continually lied; not just about big things, but even the little things. It started prior to us getting married; he lied about who he was and his life (he had just left his first wife and throughout the duration of our marriage I learned a lot about his behavior during this time and lies he told me then). He lied about money, the state of his business, everything. We spent seven months living under the same roof but separated, we never talked, no one tried to work at anything, I had spent years trying to tell him the lying was destroying us...he never listened. I gave up.

Then I found out during that seven months he was online and taking women out on dates while I was working to pay the bills. Looking back I had given up long before he left. His lying made it hard for me to understand or believe anything. My counsellor says it is a form of abuse, and I believe it is. It devastated me, we are three years on and I am still recovering. I have a terrible time trusting anyone. I tend to switch off emotionally.

The sad thing is we have to communicate for the children. He tells me he has changed and he doesn't lie to his new girlfriend, it hurts to hear this but I know deep down he has not changed. He still lies to me now and I find it so disrespectful. My marriage was lost because of lies and now I have to endure more of it because we have children together. His new girlfriend has no clue and I feel sad for her. He lies to her because he continually tells me he is not happy and would give anything for us to get back together, I am sure she has no idea; she is me....all those years ago, I know what she is going to have to deal with, but like me she cannot see right now how much of a deceitful liar he is. I would never have thought lying could destroy lives and faith in people like it has with me.