With all the votes counted in Zimbabwe’s general election, officials have today confirmed that President Robert Mugabe has been elected as the new Doctor Who. The 89-year-old will be unveiled live on BBC1 on Sunday night, along with his assistant Morgan Tsvangirai, and will take up the role in December when the current Doctor’s term of office comes to an end.

‘This is a splendid victory for our glorious President,’ said a Zanu-PF spokesman. ‘He deserves to become a Time Lord – no one has done more to turn back time and rewrite history in Zimbabwe than our great leader. He is the people’s choice and has an outstanding record in facing up to those white cybermen.’