A Forum for Orthodox Jewish thought on Halacha, Hashkafa, and the social issues of our time.

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

“It Just Can’t Be True!”

I am loath to mention Avreimal Mondrowitz again. But I think
it is instructive to note why people like him seem to be so stronglyprotected by his community. This is not a surprise
to me.But I make note of it here in
light of a line in a recent Jewish Press article about this sordid and on-going
injustice. The line reads as follows:

“Reportedly, his neighbors like him and are unaware or deny
the allegations about his past.”

His neighbors like him. One should not dismiss this point
lightly. To simply say that the attitude about sex abuse in the right wing community
is a function of their readings of Halacha – misses an important factor. The human one. There is clearly another more
human reason for protecting a monster like Mondrowitz. They see a very charming fellow who has a nice
family; living among them for many years; and who emphatically denies all
charges - and wonder how it could be possible that someone like this could be even
remotely guilty of what he is being accused of.

I think the emotional component is a much bigger problem than
people may be aware of. Bigger - in my
view than trying to fight notions about improperly applied Mesirah or anti secular
biases. Experiencing someone in only positive ways creates a natural bias toward
him that is hard to shake when accused by a stranger of abuse. I think it might even be easier to convince
someone of erring in their Halachic analyses than it is to change their ‘sixth
sense’ about them.

I admit to at one time being guilty of this kind of thinking
myself. About 20 or 30years ago - there were rumors circulating about one
individual here in Chicago that he had molested some young girls. At the time I refused to believe it. It couldn’t
be that this fellow who was well integrated into the community was capable of it.
He was a merchant on Devon Avenue - a busy shopping area at the time (similar to ‘13th
Avenue’ in Brooklyn) in an Orthodox neighborhood. All 3 of my daughters actually
had an after school job with him when they were in high school. I just did not
believe it about this man. Nor did many other people who frequented his shop. He was charming fellow - a family man with a
wonderful wife and wonderful children.

Although I still find it hard to believe, I do believe those
rumors now. There is no doubt about what he did. His wife passed away and his
children are all married adults. And at over 80 years of age -lives alone and
in virtual house arrest. Thank God nothing happened to my daughters.

The point is that if you know someone well and you never see
him do anything but the right thing – it is easy to fall into the trap called “denial”.
If a community can deny the accusations against Mondrowitz in this way, it is
understandable that other communities can deny the accusations about other
molesters as is the case with Rabbi Nechemia Weberman – a man that takes off
his glasses when he walks down the street so he won’t be able to accidently gaze at a woman as she passes him by.

I suggest that this may in part be behind the thinking of the Agudah Moetzes - in their approach to requiring all accusations of abuse to pass
before a Rabbi for approval before reporting them to the police. When a man that is
well respected and has no known history of abuse is accused, it shouldn’t be
all that surprising that caution is mandated about reporting him to the police.
It doesn’t make it right. But it does make it understandable. The human predilection
to rely on your own observations about someone can outweigh common sense sometimes.

I don’t know how one deals with this. Just to be clear, I absolutely agree that all accusations of abuse should be reported directly to the police.While we can argue
this point saying that not
doing so impedes justice - how can we counter the human factor? How do we
counter the “It can’t be true about him!” thought process so as to convince people of the injustice of relying on an irrational emotion? Just some food for
thought.

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About Me

My outlook on Judaism is based mostly on the teachings of my primary Rebbe, Rabbi Aaron Soloveichik from whom I received my rabbinic ordination. It is also based on a search for spiritual truth. Among the various sources that put me on the right path, two great philosophic works stand out: “Halakhic Man” and “Lonely Man of Faith” authored by the pre-eminent Jewish philosopher and theologian, Rabbi, Dr. Joseph B. Soloveitchik. Of great significance is Rabbi, Dr. Norman Lamm's conceptualization and models of Torah U’Mada and Dr. Eliezer Berkovits who introduced me to the world of philosophic thought. Among my early influences were two pioneers of American Elementary Torah Chinuch, Rabbis Shmuel Kaufman and Yaakov Levi. The Yeshivos I attended were Yeshivas Telshe for early high school and more significantly, the Hebrew Theological College where for a period of ten years, my Rebbeim included such great Rabbinic figures as Rabbis Mordechai Rogov, Shmaryahu Meltzer, Yaakov Perlow, Herzl Kaplan, and Selig Starr. I also attended Roosevelt University where I received my Bachelor's Degree - majoring in Psychology.