The only person remotely surprised that Nadine has been suspended by her party and shunned by her furious constituents is Mad Nad herself

What is it with Tory women MPs? Why are they on a mission to make all female politicians look like stupid lightweights who don’t deserve to run a bath, let alone a constituency?

Can you believe for one moment that Nadine Dorries expected us to swallow her tripe that she was appearing on I’m A Celebrity... for the greater good? “I am doing the show because 16 million people watch it, so that’s where MPs should be going,” she explained, loftily.

No, Nadine, they don’t watch it. They laugh and point. They’re not going to listen as you preach your batty ideas around the campfire. They are going to roll about laughing while you gag on a roo testicle.

Yet the only person remotely surprised that Nadine has been suspended by her party and shunned by her furious constituents is Mad Nad herself.

The poor love has been losing the plot for so long now, she actually believes walking out on her job without telling anyone so she can appear on a trashy reality show is the best way she can serve the constituents who pay her £65,738 a year to look after their interests.

Yet it’s as clear as the tan marks on her shoulders that the only interests Dorries cares about are her own.

It really depresses me to watch the way female MPs have become a bunch of self-serving egotists with as much political conviction as a wet rag. What’s happened to the Betty Boothroyds and Barbara Castles of this generation? Those great, dignified women believed in honour and duty and battled against the old boy network to give women a real political voice.

Now, at a time when women are coming off worse in every way, from unequal pay to unemployment and the laceration of childcare benefits, we need strong, intelligent women in Parliament to fight our cause.

Yet what do we get instead? Multimillionaire Tory Louise Mensch, who bailed out because, as her husband said, she thought she’d be annihilated in the next election, and all those faded blondes such as Dorries and Speaker’s wife Sally Bercow, who strip off on reality TV then have the nerve to call it positive publicity.

Nadine Dorries is a self-serving disgrace, not just to her party, but to all women.

The sad fact is that this bright, opinionated Liverpudlian grafter could have had a glittering political career. She is the kind of self-made woman we need in Parliament. But her ­increasingly bonkers ideas and desperation for the limelight turned her into a monstrous self-publicist who forgot her first duty was to her constituents, not Nadine Dorries Inc.

The only votes she deserves are for the most revolting Bushtucker Trials.

How NHS is failing women

When Gail Boichat, 57, was given the devastating news she had breast cancer, she put all her faith and trust into the hands of experienced surgeon Ian Paterson.

Gail had a painful partial mastectomy and was prescribed the cancer drug tamoxifen, which brought on early menopause.

Yet seven years later she was told all that pain and emotional trauma was unnecessary because she never had cancer in the first place.

Paterson, who worked at hospitals and clinics in the West Midlands, now faces a police investigation, accused of butchering at least 450 women when they were perfectly healthy.

The case has been described as the largest criminal negligence case we’ve seen in the past 16 years.

Sadly, for whatever reason, rogue doctors can slip through the net.

What beggars belief is that Paterson was first investigated by the NHS trust in 2004 but wasn’t told to stop operating until 2007. In those three years he may have ruined the lives of hundreds of women.

Like the crisis in our maternity wards, this is yet another appalling example of how a women’s health issue has been criminally disregarded by NHS bosses.

Cam's in a sorry state

Don’t you love the way Desperate Dave has ­twisted the Obama win into a vote of confidence for himself? He says the US President’s re-election is proof that voters will reward politicians who turn around the economy in tough economic times. Really?

The last time I looked I needed a microscope to notice any percentage growth in the UK economy, so you can forget that argument, Dave.

What our PM fails to have noticed is that the US electorate didn’t vote for Obama’s economic policies, they voted against Mitt Romney, who slagged off the poor, trashed women’s rights and lost the support of every ethnic minority in the country. There is no comparison, mate.

Not so special K

From the kindness of their hearts, the Kardashian sisters, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney, have made a cut-price clothing “Kollection” for larger, curvy ladies. As the Kollection appears to consist of sheer nylon lace tops, satin micro shorts and dresses tighter than a surgical bandage, I’d say rather than being kind, that’s kinda kruel.

Farewell friends

This is my last column for the Sunday Mirror. After five very happy years sounding off on this page, it’s time for me to move on to pastures new.

Thanks to each and every one of you who wrote to me and emailed over the years, in anger, joy or frustration. Your gut instinct on life is the best barometer a columnist can ever get. So thank you.

Over the years I’ve learned Sunday Mirror readers are a feisty, warm, passionate and eloquent lot and I hope I’ve managed to do you all justice, nailing the causes that made you rage and skewering the pompous posers who drive us all nuts.

It’s been a huge amount of fun and I’ll miss your emails terribly – even the ones which begin: “What planet are you on?”