Thursday, October 20, 2005

His sexy innards

What supermodel-turned-actor Upen Patel has to say in today’s HT City, in response to a new survey that rates India the second-sexiest nation (after Brazil):"In fact, India is not the second-sexiest but the sexiest nation. Indians are not only beautiful to look at from the outside but they are also beautiful on the inside, and that’s what makes us so desirable."

P.S. In the same story, "glamgirl Shamita Shetty" adds, "Believe me, people all over the world are crazy about us."

P.P.S. Delhi Times has a similar story on its front page, with the memorable (if incomprehensible) sentence: "It is no surprise India is considered a sexy country, given its tradition of tolerance towards desire (sic) and, of course, the constant focus on love in its movies."

10 comments:

Sure. Sexy is exactly what comes to my mind when I see overweight aunties haggle over teacups. Uncles in safari suits, savouring their IMFL Patiala pegs.

Our capacity to delude ourselves is unlimited.

Once a German guy told me that Indians don't really figure on anyone's "must do" list, because we don't have much of a sexual identity. Compared to the sort of exotic and fetish imagery associated with East/South-east and African women, we don't really fire up anyone'a imagination. Don't know if that's good or bad.

Thankful as I am that moving to South India has given me uninterrupted access to The Hindu, things like this make me miss the Times very much. There's nothing like quotes from the frighteningly vacuous to make you laugh and restore your sense of self. Well, maybe some kind of expensive drug.

I am not very sure about Thallasa_mikra's comment about Germans though. I know of a German guy who married the very same overweight aunty who he talks about and he told that what mattered was the beauty inside and not what looked outside..

I had to go for medical tests this week as the doc wanted to investigate what besides alcohol and smoke, caused the bouts of acidity. After a dose of anaesthesia, I presume they pushed some camera down my throat. And for the second time in my life I was exposed to photographs from the inside.

So I am authorised to comment on how beautiful we are from the inside. It's scary, friends, it's gory and ugly. Upen Patel's intestines for that matter won't be any better. Same for Kate Moss's lungs and aesophagus.

And even if we take Upen's inside in the surreal and not-literal terms since he meant it that way, Indians are one of the most corrupt people in the world. We are uniquely ugly in our casteist outlook of life... We kill, we cheat, we hide, we do all the things like every other nation in the world.

P.S. Our journalism sucks. All the reports on this sexy survey said India is the second sexiest nation, the other is Brazil, the most sexiest with 0.2 percent more sexyness. There is no mention of the third in any of these reports. So are we the second in a race of two? Who neutered the rest of the world?

My god, I guess these celebrities are stoned when they speak such crap, btw Jai why not make a diary of such stupid statements. I am sure they have great nostalgic value, when you read them 10-20 years down the line, you will find it tough to believe that such stupid people existed even then