This is a rattlesnake that has been mutated from prolonged exposure to Grimacite radiation. It's not very scary, unless you consider a giant, venomous snake with two seperately[sic] hinged jaws and a giant stinger on its tail to be scary.

Oh, you do? Okay, this thing is terrifying.

Hit Message(s):

It opens its jaws, extends its second set of jaws, and bites you in the <eye>. Eek! Oof! Ow! Ouch! Oof! Oof!

It wraps around you and squeezes. It's like a hug, but with more rib crushing. Ouch! Ooh! Ooh! Argh! Ow! Ouch!

It unhinges its jaw and swallows your leg up to the knee. Fortunately, it chokes and has to spit it back out. Ugh! Ooh! Ow! Eek! Ow! Argh!

It stings you with its venomous stinger. You babble "de do do do, de dah dah dah" as the poison takes hold. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Eek! Argh! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

It wraps tightly around you and squeezes the breath out of you, all the while stinging you with its tail and biting you with both sets of jaws. Now, that's just overkill. Ow! Ouch! Ow! Eek! Oof! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to bite you, but can't decide which set of jaws to use.

It tries to wrap around you and squeeze you, but you pretend you're a shaman so it doesn't squeeze you.

It tries to sting you, but you ask it not to stand so close to you.

It unhinges its jaw to devour you, but can't get it to rehinge again.

Fumble Message:

It lunges at you, but gets a hold of its own tail instead and starts eating itself. It's highly metaphorical. (FUMBLE!)

References

The hit message in which you babble "de do do do, de dah dah dah" when the rattlesnake stings you is a reference to the song "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da" by the British rock band The Police, which features lead singer Sting.

The miss message in which you ask the rattlesnake not to stand so close to you when it tries to sting you is a reference to another song from The Police and Sting, "Don't Stand So Close to Me."

The miss message in which the rattlesnake won't squeeze you because you're a shaman is a play on the advertising slogan "Please don't squeeze the Charmin."