I need a ghost writer, someone to help me finish some stories and make them presentable to be published, I can’t pay for the time and effort, but an willing to give credit where credit is due. I currently have 5 stories, and you can choose which one(s) you want to work on. These are typed out COPIES, I have the originals and will keep them, looking for someone that will not tamper with the original idea, but add to the story to make publishable. I have all the ideas, just no time or patients for details, but it’s all in my head. Please let me know if your interested.

In other words, “Hi, I want to be a published writer, but I don’t want to write. Or learn how to spell. But trust me, I have the chops. It’s all in my head. I just don’t have time to type, or use my brain, or open a dictionary. And you should help me. For free. Because I said so.”

What this person doesn’t realize is that if a writer needs to do a couple freebies to beef up her skimpy portfolio, she’s going to write and publish her own dang articles (say for a cool indie women’s mag, or the newsletter of the women’s shelter down the street), not waste her time with this nonsense. Ads like this do a huge disservice to paid ghostwriting gigs offered by credible authors, business executives, and book publishers.

Promise me you will never answer such an ad. I’d sooner advise you to answer a listing on Craig’s like this.

(This rant made possible by my dear friend Diane, who sent me the CL ad in question.)

oooh! i do now. i knew such ads were a dime a dozen (er, make that $.00 a dozen). i’ve even had clients, interview subjects for newspaper/magazine articles, and all sorts of people in my everyday life ask me to “ghostwrite” their novels/memoirs (usually for free). but to have a blog devoted to outing such “assery” is divine. thanks, mir.