Explaining abusive relationships to a teen

When you’re trying to teach a young person what an abusive relationship is and how not to possibly find themself in one. I think it’s important to talk about more than just the traditional things of abuse, which are bruises, or hitting, or violence.
Abuse as we know can take the form of emotional abuse. It can take the form of verbal abuse. It can take the form of mental abuse. So talking about all the things that come. And if you go to Love is Respect we have a power and control wheel to talk about those things. Financial abuse, how someone can use your position at school as a way to control you or how they can try to influence your behavior. But also talking about that sometimes things happen and arguments happen, there’s a way that people can disagree and there’s a way that people can settle issues.
When you’re – as a parent – trying to help them avoid those situations, it’s just about making sure that they have a non-negotiables in their life that come with relationships. So again, it’s about teaching them about boundaries, it’s about teaching them about being themselves no matter what happens and also about communicating those things upfront in the beginning of any relationship.

Brian Pinero

Abuse Helpline Coordinator

Brian Pinero is the director of the National Dating Abuse Helpline, the advocacy service provider behind loveisrespect.org. Through loveisrespect, teens and young adults can receive crisis intervention and education about healthy relationships via text, chat or phone. Pinero has dedicated over 10 years to helping teens and has previously supervised youth shelter services, been an investigator at Child Protective Services and worked as a juvenile probation officer.

When you’re trying to teach a young person what an abusive relationship is and how not to possibly find themself in one. I think it’s important to talk about more than just the traditional things of abuse, which are bruises, or hitting, or violence.
Abuse as we know can take the form of emotional abuse. It can take the form of verbal abuse. It can take the form of mental abuse. So talking about all the things that come. And if you go to Love is Respect we have a power and control wheel to talk about those things. Financial abuse, how someone can use your position at school as a way to control you or how they can try to influence your behavior. But also talking about that sometimes things happen and arguments happen, there’s a way that people can disagree and there’s a way that people can settle issues.
When you’re – as a parent – trying to help them avoid those situations, it’s just about making sure that they have a non-negotiables in their life that come with relationships. So again, it’s about teaching them about boundaries, it’s about teaching them about being themselves no matter what happens and also about communicating those things upfront in the beginning of any relationship.