Guides

How to Pick up Girls on The Dancefloor – a Definitive Guide

I never understood how to pick up girls on the dancefloor. Even when my early days as a Singapore pick up artist, I never really understood how someone can just go up, grind up a girl, and take her home. In my personal experience, you got to do more than that. Unless the girl you grind is really down, it often doesn’t go down for me.

Nonethless, the dancefloor in the club can be considered the meet markets of the club. Think about it, the tables are for huge social groups. The bar is for people to get drinks. The dancefloor is actually the place where girls and guys go to meet each other. It’s rare to find a guy approaching outside the dancefloor. Even if so, if he’s to approach in the dancefloor, it’s normally through body language, and less words.

How to Pick up Girls on The Dancefloor

First Rule is To Have Fun

Having a ton of fun and putting on a smile on your face is the first step to attracting more attention on the dancefloor.

Approaching a girl on on the dancefloor is either through body language or just going up to say Hi. There’re no other forms of communications that I’m aware of.

Less Words more Dancing

The dance floor is a messy place, with guys, girls, music and all of that jumping. It’s close to impossible to have a verbal interaction on the dance floor. The dance floor is where you have to approach strong and make your prescene known.

You’re going to have problems in talking in long sentences. Short sentences like saying Hi, and asking her for her name is alright. The key is to get physical as fast as possible. Either with shoulder hugs, dancing beside her, or grinding behind her.

Lead Like Your Life Depends on It

Don’t ask for permission to move. Just grab her by the hand and go to the dance floor. The majority of pick up is just grabbing life by the balls and just doing it. It’s assumed attraction.

Speaking with Your Body: Physical Escalation

Unless she’s really into you, it’s not a good strategy to just go up behind her and grinding her.

Even if so, there so many objections: her friends, she doesn’t know you, she doesn’t even know your name. Approaching with body language and grinding is alright, that’s how most of the people in the clubs do it, but it’s important to have a minimal conversation as well.

It’s better to dance beside with light shoulder touches be a way to flirt on the dance floor, and then move on from there. If they are comfortable with that, then move behind them. If they’re comfortable with you being behind them, then make a move by holding her waist.

Once you’ve ‘opened’ using body language or verbally, it’s time to escalate and lead. Firstly, dance by her side. Then escalate by putting your hands on her shoulder or her waist. Then proceed, to dance behind her. Then turn her around with her facing you. Then the make-out.

The rule of thumb is similar to all other interactions: always be leading.

Learning how to pick up girls on the dance floor is a subtlety. Sometimes you approach verbally and say Hi, before dancing. Other times, you approach physically (dancing) and say Hi.

Touching Her Fast

Think about it. The guys that don’t know about ‘game’ is still getting results in the clubs in spite of having ‘no game’. They don’t think about fanciful openers, role plays, or intricate push/pull techniques.

They merely rely on their gut and go for it.

Our social brains are evolved to pick up signals from the opposite sex. It’s just that because of past negative experiences, traumas or conditioning, we then convince ourselves with our own stories that somehow we’re not good enough, not attractive enough and that “she’s probably not interested in me”.

I used to think that there’s an ‘escalation’ ladder when it comes to touching girls. There is a general, socially acceptable framework for it. However, there are many times that you end up kissing a girl without even holding her hands or hugging her even.

Emotions occur in the moment.

Stop Putting Hot Girls in the Club on a Pedestal

One other big insights I had from picking up girls on the dancefloor is that most of us put hot girls on the pedestal. This is especially so in the club where a vagina is somewhat the most valued currency, second to the guys splashing their cash on tables and drinks to impress the girls.

Combine this with just about every other mainstream advertising campaign that’s where you get pussy being put on the pedestal.

This is where techniques and lines has it’s limits. It’s our own self worth, our own beliefs of our attractability, and out own beliefs about people, girls and ourselves that hold us back.

Some times I think to myself: I put in so much work in myself. I go to school, I try hitting the gym, I write for this blog, I launch this business as a Singapore dating coach. I make the effort to read outside of school and I’m still so invested in that hot girl in the club thinks of me.

It just doesn’t add up.

How to Handle her Friends?

There are going to be instances where you’ll get rejected. Her friends will pull her away and give you a creep stare. It happens a lot, especially in Singapore clubs. You can’t control other people’s behaviour. You can only control your own behaviour.

The rule of thumb is to make friends with her friends. Be friendly, yet assertive. This takes a little intuition. Look at her body language, is she worried about what her friends think? Is she looking for approval from her friends. If so, you should then adjust and befriend her friends.

On other occasions, I think it’s alright to just go for it. If she’s alright with it, her friends will be alright with it.

Closing Thoughts

Like all other areas of getting good with girls. You’re not going to do well on the dancefloor if you don’t have your basics such as body language and your fashion sense down. I would say intentions are also a big part of picking up girls on the dancefloor. Some times, I see guys approaching girls like mechanically like machines, most of the time it just doesn’t turn out well.