Sunday, March 2, 2008

Music Monday

My oldest son is really lost these days. Someday I'll get into the details, but simply put, his first attempt at living on his own turned into a nightmare.

He was sharing a house 1200 miles away from us and had only been there a few weeks when two guys with guns came in and demanded money. Jake's roommate was shot in the arm and Jake was hit repeatedly over the head with the butt of a gun. A third roommate jumped out of a second story window and called the police.

Jake's home and safe, but he's struggling to move forward. That's about all I want to say about it at this point, but I'm struggling, too. (Yes, we've seen doctors and I'm sure we'll be seeing more doctors.)

So this Monday, I give you The Fray. "How To Save a Life" is connected with Grey's Anatomy, but it really has nothing to do with hospital doctors. It's all about dealing with troubled teens. It's all about my life.

The Fray - How To Save A LifeAlbum: How To Save A LifeYear: 2005

Step one you say we need to talkHe walks you say sit down it's just a talkHe smiles politely back at youYou stare politely right on throughSome sort of window to your rightAs he goes left and you stay rightBetween the lines of fear and blameYou begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know bestCause after all you do know bestTry to slip past his defenseWithout granting innocenceLay down a list of what is wrongThe things you've told him all alongAnd pray to God he hears youAnd pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voiceYou lower yours and grant him one last choiceDrive until you lose the roadOr break with the ones you've followedHe will do one of two thingsHe will admit to everythingOr he'll say he's just not the sameAnd you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a lifeHow to save a lifeHow to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friendSomewhere along in the bitternessAnd I would have stayed up with you all nightHad I known how to save a lifeHow to save a life

Your husband too? I think it is pretty common.. my husband is too strick in my opinion and goes overboard to where I cave in to often.. Which does add to the stress of the situation at hand.

I've been around, just dealing with some silly ulser! Wonder where I got that from?? LOL.. When this kid of mine grows up and is on her own I'm going to some tropical island and drink margaritas day in and day out..haha.

If it helps at all, my older stepdaughter was a complete terror, pretty much right up to age 19. Now she is 20 and has mellowed considerably. Or maybe it just feels that way because she is away at college 9 months of the year! But no, really, I think she really is getting better. My husband and I are breathing a little easier these days.

Oh, my friend, I could go on for days about the troubles I've seen with my now 22-year-old, much-loved pain in the ass of a son. What a struggle his whole adolescent life was. My nickname, given to me by him and his friends was "Momma Drama" and "BuzzKill." Oh, yeah. I was the mom that invaded every teen-age drinking party I found out about and went on search parties after receiving calls from the principal informing me that she watched my son get off the school bus and then proceed to walk in the opposite direction of the school. I showed up at his friends' houses numerous times after getting that gut feeling that moms get, you know, something is wrong, and found him unable to keep his head from wobbling around on his shoulders and then have to figure out if he needed a cold shower because of too much booze or a stomach pump because of taking drugs. My heart is with you, caryl. Hang in there, don't give up. He needs you. And trust me, it gets better with each passing year. What helped me the most through all those difficult years was talking to other mothers. Believe it, you're not alone; most every family with children is going through the same thing. Talk to them, it helps; you, too, need the support.

At least Jake will talk to me. I do the best I can, I mostly just listen and assure him things will get better. But, I'm going back to the therapist for advice and maybe one day he'll go with me. He needs to.

Hen

ry

Henry finds shade

Let's Name Henry's Fan Club! (Read the post, "Everybody Loves Henry" if you don't know what this is about.) If you have a name to suggest, add it to the comments following the post. Now, Sit! Stay! Vote!