This is probably more of a story question/suggestion, but is she potentially guilty of not being there since she's on a business trip in Chicago with Eric? If this is part of the complication, I'd like to know about it in the query. It's not just that she's distracted from Eric because her kid is m...

Vitiosus, the dark warrior prince, is feared try to change passive voice (strikes fear into all or terrifies all) by all of Lassertian. But in this war-loving land, where the lesser humans are hunted and hanged, Vitiosus secretly longs for something no warrior would ever consider – peace. No matter ...

Reading through the query again, thought occurred to me. I think that by mentioning that the ex-husband has tried to kidnap their son before you are actually lessening the stakes when the boy is kidnapped. The natural assumption is that it's Dad and the kid's okay. Without that, the kidnapping migh...

Now I see I need to add more details here. I read a lot about queries, and I must admit I was a bit confused. Some queries are long; some are sweet and short. I tried to be concise, but I guess I lost the feeling of the story.

Hi all. I'm new here. I just started the process of querying. I'd appreciate any feedback on my query letter. Thanks a lot. Okay, I have two revised versions. Which one works better? ** New Version 1** Dear Agent : Megan Whits breaks away from a marriage to a money-obsessed, chauvinist, and (as it t...

Title: Is There Anything For Me? Genre: women's fiction Megan frowned and glanced through a taxi window. Corporate parties. You can love or hate them. You can go there to have fun or do business. You can count days till a coveted evening or invent a dozen reasons to escape a dreadful event. Megan ha...