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In the wake of Rarity’s ‘improvement’ spree, the Princesses have a discussion about their duties and what it means to be a princess… also they complain a lot… In fact they just mostly complain. ·Justice4243

One week ago, Twilight Sparkle was crowned the fourth Princess of Equestria. Tonight, Ponyville hosts the 1003rd Summer Sun Celebration, and Princess Celestia and Princess Luna want a vacation. With two fine young princesses like Cadance and Twilight to take over for them, nothing could possibly go wrong.

Anyway, my one complaint is that it was a bit long for a single chapter. I could easily see splitting it up into three (Spoilered for those who haven't read it): Celestia and Luna announcing and planning their vacation, preparation for the duel, and then the "duel" itself

Celestia had switched to the rare smile Number Twenty-Three: “I am desperately trying to come up with an excuse to immortalize this in stained glass.”

Cadance had abandoned the Royal Dueling Circle and joined her husband by the fence, a bucket of popcorn floating in the soft aura of her magic. She tossed a handful into her mouth, chewing loudly. Shining Armor shrugged apologetically, but made no move to assist his sister. (He did help himself to some popcorn.)

Big McIntosh just looked... Big McIntoshy.

“My vengeance,” Twilight informed them all seriously, “will be slow but sure.”

I imagine that the Daring Do series is one of those series which would be splattered all over the TvTropes wiki (not unlike, well MLP:FiM), if ponies had a TvTropes wiki.

With regards to chapter length, it's one of those things where personal taste can differ a lot. My own personal philosophy is that a chapter should stand on its own to some extent, and have a beginning, middle, and end. Other authors prefer chapters that might be one or two scenes, like you suggest, and there's nothing wrong with that; it just isn't the way I write.

Wow... Cadence can be a bit of a brat. I feel like Celestia should have just ordered them, because this is bad. It shouldn't lead to a "reenactment" of the war between Celestia and Luna (names for that?), but maybe it could... Good thing this is being supervised.

I found the story quite fun and amusing, but it made Cadence seem like a huge bitch. She basically helped raise Twilight and can clearly see how much Celestia means to her. Twilight has dedicated her whole life to making Celestia proud and basically worships her, but the one chance Twilight will have to fill Celestia's shoes Cadence wants to take from her because she likes the sun too.

Cadence doesn't have nearly as much invested in the Celestia and the sun as Twilight. She might pout and feel a little sad if she doesn't get to raise the sun, but Twilight would be devastated. I know I would be bitter and resentful if one of my closest friends steals my dream from me and forces me to play second fiddle for 10 years. I'd stab that bitch on the second day.

Oh, this is just fantastic. Now I have yet ANOTHER author to follow, which means even MORE awesome stories vying for my attention. Ugh. That's it, I am petitioning Celestia and Luna to increase the number of hours in a day.

well i find the story funny. i do think celestia would give the sun to twilight on principle. the princess of the SUN should have some honor. twilight secured shinings neutrality. cadence turned her freinds agianst her in an attempt. in the end cadence showed herself to not really deserve it.

Can we have a side story of what happened with the CMC and the fireworks? Or maybe a side story of "what was happening during the party that the Princesses didn't see"? THis was just too hilarious and I want more!

...though she took a mental note to find the time to sit down and have a long, long discussion about the differences between an alicorn and an ordinary pony with the only other pony who'd been both in living memory.

Interesting. I'd love to read a story about Cadence's ascension.

Also, this was glorious. A truly divine comedy. I want to see the window Celestia commissions for this farce.

Even if the Chrysalis sub-plot wouldn't exactly work for the main story you could always spin it off into a side story, that might also present an excellent chance to show the other characters reactions to the note/duel while Cadence and Twilight were getting ready (along with Chrysalis reaction to their reactions).

This story is full of intriguing little details that smack of “fanon,” but, importantly, they do so in a way that adds to, rather than detracts from, the story. My favorite is probably the line that Fluttershy's mom says Rainbow Dash is a bad influence . But another one that stuck out was the mention that the Everfree Forest was created by an out of control alicorn battle (Luna/Nightmare Moon and Celestia's, I'd imagine), because it highlighted the perceived consequences of not making an awesome dueling circle, during an important and amusing conversation.

I also love any story that features Luna and Celestia bickering and/or showing genuine affection for each other. It never fails to warm my heart to think about the bond of sisterhood that still binds those ancient ponies. And this story is a fantastic showcase of how Twilight and Cadance are developing a very similar bond, which will serve them well as the years roll by.

[One quick correction: This line by Cadance at the duel is missing the word 'is': “I think we need to have a long talk when this over, Twilight”]

You made the right call cutting the subplot with Chrysalis. It's a great idea though. Perhaps you could use a similar premise for your next story?

Finally, “using the power of friendship is not cheating” is an amusing and wonderful line. I hope we get to see many more stories from you.

Here via Skywriter. Very rare for me to follow an author after just one story. This bodes great things, and I want in on the ground floor.

This really is great comedy. The various escalations throughout feel effortless. The whole Nightmare Twilight … or should that be Nightlight? … scene was hysterical. The story's peppered with great one-liners, but mostly lets them come from the flow of the tale. (The CMC bit was one of the few that stood out as being gratuitous, but it was short enough not to be distracting.)

(Type 1559 semi-silence, no intentional verbal communication but ambient noise; lovers lost in each other's eyes while only interrupted by the male participant dropping his butterknife on the floor and cursing)

I'm pretty sure those are both an homage to Terry Pratchett — or, if not, an outstanding illustration that great minds think alike.

There's no reason a one-shot can't have chapters, if it's released all at once in a completed state. My own most recent one-shot Fugue State (which is 3,000 words shorter than this) was divided into three chapters — because it's very specifically structured that way, and each part has its own variation on the main themes on music and movement that would be diminished if they all blurred together.

Strictly from a meta-perspective, the advantage of shorter chapters is that it gives new readers a chance to evaluate (or enjoy!) a story without committing to the entire thing at once. 2,000 words is, on average, 5 minutes of reading; 10,000 is almost half an hour, and if you can only read it in short bursts, it's a lot harder to leave yourself a mental bookmark than it is to finish a chapter and pick it back up with the next one. My opinion is that shorter chapters are a courtesy to the reader. They're not always necessary, but I appreciate them when I see them (and I read stories with short updates a lot quicker than stories with giant ones).

Anyway, this story already has section breaks. Choosing one or two of them as chapter demarcations would simply be a formality.

I'm glad I took the time to read this one! I have a decent read list to go through but put this on top of the list. I was just in the mood for a ridiculous story and this cured that itch!

You know, reading this made me realize just how similar Cadance and Celestia are with their names. I often got them mixed up when they started speaking. Confusing in a story that all about misdirection!

Thanks for giving us this tale! I really enjoyed it and hope to see more from you in the not-so-distant-future.

Not bad... but some stuff didn't sit right with me. As >>25349292534929 pointed out, it's really not cool of Cadance to fight over the sun-raising duty. She should know what an honor it would be for Twi. Also, the (and Trixie) got a bit repetitive after a while. Not bad, fairly good... just not 'great' IMHO.