Hilarious Christian Zealot

Over at Odd Innuendo, in a garden variety post about Hitler not being an atheist (and some stuff on why Stalin’s atheism has nothing to do with him being an insane dictator) – the comments boomed.

One of the comments was by a one “alan” who,it seems, is some sort of Christian zealot, who believes that the only version of good in this world is the True Christian variety (yes, he actually pulled the “No True Scotsman” spiel on me).

At first, I was having enough fun seeing alan squirm with the indefensible position that Hitler was, for some reason, an atheist (he used the words “I am a devout catholic” in 1941. Maybe he wasn’t much of a catholic, but catholic he was, and people like Fred Phelps are still considered to be bathshit insane Christian).

But sooner than later, the argument turned into a debate on biblical morality (with occasional puns about atheists being assholes every now and then, sigh.)

The hilarious part was when I noted some examples from Deuteronomy and Leviticus which, putting it mildly, color God and the bible in negative hues. Stuff like stoning homosexuals, stoning witches, stoning adulterers, stoning unruly children, et cetera.

This is the hilarious bit.

Alan, eventually, between yelps and whines, decided to pull a smart one on me, and say:

“taking arbitrary quotes out of the bible and filtering them through the prism of todays moral relatavistic culture doesn’t prove your point, it only shows you are too lazy to study the contextual arrangement and significance of the Hebrew and greek language.
Your point is not only moot, it’s uneducated.”

L—————O————–L

Okay, reality check:

. I’m an Ashkenazi Jew (non-believing, duh) who was born and raised in Israel: mother languages being Israeli Sign Language and HEBREW.

*FAIL*

Not only is Hebrew my native tongue, It’s also the language I was taught mandatory theology in for about 11 years (matriculated in Jewish theology with high marks), and also the language I received (and still receive) my entire formal education.

Not only am I ” aware of contextual arrangement and significance of the Hebrew language” – I studied theology in Hebrew, and directly studied the bible in Hebrew, and studied interpretations of it by Jewish and foreign scholars.

After studying the Old Testament in great detail, my unambiguous conclusion from Leviticus and Deuteronomy is that it’s filled with filthy, disgusting, foul edicts designed to uphold a misogynist, patriarchal, homophobic, ignorant, xenophobic and imperialistic culture.

I was also privy to the fact that although these were laws prevalent in biblical times – Modern Israel rejects them for being immoral, and does not stem its morality strictly from the bible.

Admittedly, the bible has some nice and charitable moral codes that the Jewish culture joyfully cherry-picked through the ages (unfortunately, accompanying them with bad codes of conduct that still consist the blight of the modern Jewish culture) – but “alan” here insisted that the only way to be truly Good is to follow the exact words of the bible – which contradict not only every possible instance of what “being good” means, but also alan himself.

Needless to say, alan was a bit flustered at first, but almost entirely unphased, he moved on to the next goalpost shift, and eventually decided to “end the folly” (I’ll say) by running away whining about my “closed-mindedness”.