Tories decry Blair's 'Government of the UN-dead'

London - (Ass Mess): Tories have taunted UK Prime Monster Tony Blair for presiding over a "Government of the un-dead",in a reference to the bloodthirsty vampiric machinations of his Administration that have sucked up the very life-blood of the nation as well as other sovereign states abroad.

A heated House of Commons debate slammed the soon to be booted from office mobster-colluder despite Blair's avowal that the cash-for-peerages cops "will never take me alive".

Blair is expected to have an Audience with the Queen tonight to see what deal she has managed to cobble together with George W Bush.

A Karl Rove-inspired plan proposes him taking over the top job at the International Bank for Deconstruction and Embezzlement when Paul Wolfowitz does a plea bargain to save his ass as CEO of the organization which he has so successfully polluted during his tenure of orifice.

Blair is then expected to begin the first of his many Long Goodby farewell gigs at his Sedgefield, Co Durham, constituency at noon tomorrow.

He has asked Bee Gee Robin Gibb to take on lead vocals along with Bob Geldof, the re-united Spice Girls and Cliff Richards in a tour culminating in the Hyde Park Diana Memorial Consort in early July.

Top of the list of farewell songs that Blair is rehearsing is Edith Piaf's 'No Regrets', Frank Sinatra's 'My Way', the Elephant & Castle Tabernacle Choir's rendition of 'I Will Survive' and All Saint's 'Things Can Only Get Better'.

Lord Levy is mostly comatose.

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