At last night’s New York State Republican Party dinner, at which Rudy Giuliani appeared as a loser and Dick Cheney spoke like a hero, the “invocation” was delivered by a “Monsignor” Jim Lisante. Guess what? He’s a comedian, too! He tells all sorts of funny jokes, this guy, he’s hilarious. Check out this line from his “partisan” appeal to his God: “One more thing, Lord. Please tell Senator Obama that maybe change is a good thing and maybe he should think about changing his favorite preacher.” But his favorite preacher is you, MONSIGNOR! [Ben Smith]

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

I don’t understand – he didn’t deliver his most convincing argument to the group: Barack Obama’s preacher was black! Don’t people understand this?

loudmouthredhead

Wow, that’s so timely and fresh! Who knew the GOP had such funny people, and CATHOLIC ones too!?

No offense to any religious people on this site, but these guys make you ALL look bad. Sorry, but it’s like how rednecks make us whiteys so proud.

NoWireHangers

From the Chimp Board:
“Welcome back Wonkettes. Now you can vote yourself as high as you’d like. Its amazing what power a little Patriotic website has over the big bad Wonkette. Whoa… we’re scared. NOT.”

At first I read it and thought, how do they know we’re high. Anyway, COMEDY GOLD.

NoWireHangers

Erm…I meant to post that comment on a different post. Damn this new commenting system! I hates it!

Cicada

Good grief, I made the mistake of following the Politico link. Those comments make me want to wash my brain, awful lot of “hardworking” folks over there.

Did I miss something? When did this election become a holy war? Do atheists get conscientious objector status?

…someone tell this ASSHOLE that just because you are screaming “Oh-God” while you are banging your 13 year old choir boy it doesn’t make it prayer!

SayItWithWookies

When someone says “change,” the very first things I think of are the Republican Party and the Catholic Church. Because nothing highlights positive change more than the religion that only recently exonerated Galileo and the political party that would like to dig him up and burn him at the stake.

@AngryBlakGuy:…P.S. you may want to stop calling Communion Wine “Jesus Juice” otherwise Michael Jackson may slap you with a Copyright infringement lawsuit!

Lionel Hutz Esq.

And when will Barack give up that heathen god of his for the one true God? I mean, Allah, what the heck is that? It sounds like one of Santa’s Reindeer. Allah, the other Reindeer.

Thanks a lot everyone, tip your waitresses! Try the veal!

georgia_peach

hey y’all — how do you reply directly to a post? I can finally leave a comment but I can’t do it “@Commenter’s name”. Rrrgh.

Anyway, in other ways that the Catholic Church is enlightened, they will now immediately excommunicate any ordained female AND the bishop who ordained her. Because then the womens might stop making Catholic babies, or some shit. I don’t know.

StrangelyBrown

Let’s see, Obama wants to make peace with people who hate us and allow the sick to have the chance to get healed, even if they’re poor. I can totally see why Christians hate him — I mean, what kind of Godless Commie ideology is that?

wonk_the_heck

their brains will explode when the realise Monsignor is FRENCH

Godless Liberal *

@StrangelyBrown: They don’t just hate us, they hate JESUS and worship some jolly faggot named Ali or something like that. Why would you want to make peace with someone who hates Jesus? That is like hating Jesus yourself.

WhatTheHeck

You know, for the longest time I’ve suspected god was a Republican. Little things like, asking said god to bless our bombs as they fall on different god-worshipping peoples. And letting agents of said god say stupid-ass things.

Oh yes, I’m afraid of this god. He might just switch my vote for Obama to his righteous adversary McCain.

StrangelyBrown

@Godless Liberal * (mustn’t forget the *): So when Jesus tried to make peace with the people who hated him, that was only because he was a self-hating Jew, right? Wow, it all makes sense now…

Godless Liberal *

@StrangelyBrown: He was Woody Allen before Woody Allen was Woody Allen.

Lionel Hutz Esq.

Jim: When you say that “Dick Cheney spoke like a hero,” am I wrong to think that you mean that he was covered in blood and had the veins of children hanging from his teeth?

Some smart person taught me this earlier. It’s a pain in the ass though. You have to click on the date under that person’s comment, and then link to that URL.

(a href=http://URL)Commenter Name(/a)

Replace the parentheses with and voila.

columnv

test

nowukkers

@loudmouthredhead. And people look at me with a mixture of pity and revulsion when I tell them I am an atheist. Frankly, gastro-intestinal diseases are now a more socially acceptable topic of conversation than religion. In fact, a political candidate would probably prefer to have issues with the former, rather than the latter these days.