If you're going to pull the "I am woman hear me roar" act, you're going to realize, sooner or later, that any halfway visible blogger cum internet celebrity is, eventually, going to expose themselves to crazies. This goes for the men, too. You found people are sexist? Rude? Abusive? Scary? Oh no, not that. It's almost as if the internet is serious business! So you're scared? Of what, exactly? And you think who else needs to take it seriously? Everyone? The same everyone who's supposed to tailor their blog posts to conform to whose standards of niceness and decency, exactly?

JERRY: I'm going out with one of the Miss America contestants, you wanna go? KRAMER: What state?JERRY: Rhode Island.KRAMER: They're never in contention.GEORGE: How do you know?KRAMER: Because I've seen every Miss America pageant since I was six!

Update from 2017: Yeah, I wrote this before Miss Rhode Island went on to become Miss Universe! That's what happens when you forget about your blog for, like, a decade ....

Friday, March 23, 2007

First we had Rhody Fresh milk, and now Rhody Raised beef? I do believe we are one step closer to the elusive goal of the first ever cheeseburger made entirely of ingredients from Rhode Island. I am officially offering a $1 reward - plus Rhode Island grown french fries - to the first gourmand to put it all together. Top it off with Rhode Island bacon, and I'll up the reward to a whopping $2. Let the mad scramble for the prize money begin ... NOW.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Let's say for a moment that, for whatever reason, you really hated Rhode Island governor Donald Carcieri. Let's also suppose, again for the sake of argument, that you wanted to let him know that you'd like to kill him. What would you do?

I think we can all agree we would not do what 59 year old Robert Pontarelli of West Warwick just did. In a fit of pique for reasons he apparently would rather not name, Pontarelli left two phone messages with the state's Office of Constituent Affairs last Friday night, telling the Governor, among other things, "I would kill you if I could" and "you've never had a round pass by your head".

While declining to detail why he was mad at the governor, Pontarelli was kind (and stupid) enough to leave his name and address in his phone messages. State aides heard the messages on Monday, and contacted the Rhode Island State Police on Tuesday to have a chat with Pontarelli about a felony charge of threatening a public offical and making harassing phone calls. Pontarelli is $25,000 lighter in the pocket and out on bail while awaiting a hearing.

Congratulations then, Robert Pontarelli, for being the dumbest man in Rhode Island this week. I wish we had an award for you, but I suppose your brief notoriety will simply have to do.

Well, Arnold and Prata have been sent through the state's judicial wringer and came out of it with three years of probation. Apparently, the state didn't want a conviction badly enough to put the child on the witness stand - a fairly understandable decision since I imagine she's already fairly mortified at her current level of notoriety among her peers. While Arnold lost visitation rights to her daughter, the state did make it clear that she and her boyfriend were never accused of actually molesting her daughter - a fairly important distinction in this day and age.

UPDATE: My readership statistics are over 10 times higher than normal for this post. Would one of you kind readers let me know how you found out about these two idiots from Woonsocket in the first place?

Looking towards April, spring will arrive soon, and with it, the chance to take more photos of Rhode Island. Ideally, I'd like to head into the ChaRiHo neck of the woods and get some photos of the lesser visited side of our state, but hey, I'll cross that bridge when we get there.