Kristen Stewart kinda-sorta confirmed that she's dating Robert Pattinson, but she still refuses to say it outright, so instead we get conversations like this, in her forthcoming GQ profile:

K.Stew: My boyfriend is English.

[Full day passes while interviewer summons courage.]

Interviewer: [paraphrase] Please clarify that statement.

K.Stew: [direct quote] I never would have said that if I knew you were interviewing me... So much of my life is so easily googled. I mean, it's like, come on guys, it's so obvious.

So is Kristen Stewart still in the closet as a lover of Robert Pattinson? Or are all interviewers pussies? Or is the world a pussy, yearning endlessly for that final satisfaction, that confirmation of all we know is right and true and irrevocable in this world. That cold embrace. Vampire love. [GQ, Daily Mail, image via Getty]

Two months after breaking their engagement and returning their wedding gifts, reality TV menace Kristin Cavallari and NFL quarterback Jay Cutler are back on. [Us, TMZ]

Want to know how many of the four "butt-naked" hot tub ladies Ashton Kutcher ended up touching with his penis? Two. Two butt-naked hot tub ladies did things with Ashton's penis, on the eve of Ashton's penis' wedding anniversary, reportedly. [Us]

Why did Blake Lively break up with Leonardo DiCaprio? Maybe to date Ryan Reynolds, with whom she rode an Aecla train. (Really? Acela? Internationally famous superstar, and you're stuck on the rails?) Rebound or jump-off? [Boston Herald]

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries renewed their vows on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. They've been married for a month! It's too soon. Stop. [Us]

The first still images from Tupac Shakur's singing, dancing, blowjob-receiving sex tape have arrived. The future murder victim wanders around naked with a "cocktail" in one hand and a "blunt" in the other, chatting with Money B while a lady services him. What multi-tasking! Unless, of course, this is just the internationally famous rapper equivalent of a quiet night at home watching Netflix. Bidding on the video is in the low three-figure range. What's more depressing: That we are totally about to see a murder victim having sex, or that the murder victim's sex tape is worth less than one-tenth of Kim Kardashian's sex tape? [TMZ]

Eddie Cibrian had a bad day: First, NBC canceled his show. Then, he sliced his foot open on a 200-lb. steel door. [People]

Painted lady and former Jesse James shtupper Kat Von D "has begun laying down tracks in the studio." Of course. [Radar]

Rachel Uchitel married her decade-younger boyfriend in Vegas this weekend. Gift idea: A streetwalker named Karma. [Us, TMZ]

Amanda Seyfried did therapy to deal with "panic attacks she now suffers as a result of being in the public eye": "[Therapy] has been such a great tool, and my therapist told me that I passed with flying colors, but we'll see how things go. I still do get terribly nervous, and that's partly due to the fact I think too much and overanalyze things. I'll start worrying about my parents or my dog, and I'll picture him opening the window of my apartment and falling out, even though I can't get that thing open myself." That sounds more like regular, non-fame-induced anxiety to me? But being "followed" during her relationship with Ryan Phillippe freaked her out, too, so now she only dates non-famous plebeians, like real estate tycoons. Sidenote: How hideous is the dress she's wearing on this cover? [Glamour UK via Us]