Oh, Spain, what am I going to do with you?

I have been looking forward to Spain for a long time. Truth be told, I am not even sure why.

When I try to dissect this attraction, I cannot find many whole organs in there, mostly parts and spills that have somehow managed to work together and hypnotize me – “oooh, you like Spain..ooooh…aaaah, you really like Spain”. Digging deeper, I position the various fragments on the metal table next to me and they look like – daring Flamenco, soaked with danger and grace matadors, world explorers, sun, beaches, rich history, culture that created the perfect food for sharing and company – delicious tapas, or paella cooked in big pans over the fire and enjoyed by many at once; fields of oranges…the really small pieces are on the tips of my fingers, like the exotic looking actors with Spanish accent in movies or the really tiny strands that make a connection between Latin America and Spain adding even more excitement to the image of the country as a whole.

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Our actual experience of Spain started promising. Driving along the coast from France was hilly and green with villages dotted here and there. Bilbao is a delightful city with nice old parts, plenty of tapa joints and of course the Guggenheim on the river. Zaragoza was in the midst of its biggest festival and alive all night, food carts right across the river from us smoking constantly and people all over as to be expected. Then we drove to what looked like outback Australia, plenty of red earth, giant rocks and not much greenery. Empty looking villages whizzed by and the ugliness of high rise apartment buildings was the only thing to break the view from time to time.

The closer to the coast we got, the more those disasters of modern building started to get in our view, until we saw the pinnacle, the crème de la crème of off high altitude living – Benidorm – aka the city with the most high rise buildings per capital in the whole World. I would use it as a perfect example for students of how tourism can ruin anything, even charming old villages on the sunny white coast, which is what Benidorm was before it turned into a 70,000 people town that looks like New York (sadly without any of the appealing skyscrapers). Look it up, if you don’t believe me.

It is in the proximity of this, monstrosity, that I realized, I am not actually loving Spain. It is not exciting, it is not buzzing from the hard to contain mix of flamenco, raging bull power, unstoppable curiosity of explorers and passion. Passion I was badly craving after Scandinavia and Germany.

The fact is that I am not seeing it. I am not seeing the Spain I expected. I am going to assume that the recession has smothered it, because to think that it does not exist is too hard.

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Now we are in a village with two thousand people or so, visiting a friend. There is the option to stay here for the winter. The funny thing is that I had dreams of “wintering in Spain” in the beginning of this journey. It went something along the lines of being cuddled up in a charming village somewhere, soaking up the passion and life around, learning Spanish. Mr.Blab is pushing for us to stay, I am looking for the exit. I want to be done with this leg. I want to rush back to Bulgaria, spend Christmas and New Years with friends and family and then fly to Central America, where I have a hope of learning Spanish with buzz around. Where my kids can learn it on the streets with children and stop for a bite of street food in between.

The village has a charm.

We are picking pomegranates from trees around.

Or you can buy them by knocking on this door:

One thing is for sure, Spaniards are warm and welcoming folk, so we felt comfortable at Sunday lunch with mama’s baked rice. It was delicious by the way, especially with the excellent company.

We even get to savor the beginnings of Coca-Cola in a liquor that comes from here (I bet you did not know that. I did not).

The surroundings are beautiful and promise a good walk or two.

Down the bridge a river flows, inviting spot for afternoon play and yet another fruit tasting.

The city nearby has enough charm amongst the by now familiar modern build up.

Still, so far the most exciting thing has been the Wednesday market, where it did seem as though there are more than 10 people living around.

The rest of the time it is a ghost town. A ghost town of which we live in the outskirts in a rather modern townhouse.

And I am quickly realizing how much I really need people. I knew it before, but this is pounding the point even deeper.

I am missing people. I am missing passion.

I am missing my imaginary Spain.

P.S. Looking at these pictures, I wonder if I am not just a whiny bum after all. That will be such an easier concept to accept. Maybe I am just tired or something, grumpy…
P.P.S I will keep you updated with developments.

(Especially for Rachel as per her request)
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9 Comments

One thing is for sure, where ever it is you spend Christmas it is bound to be another special place on your magical journey, what are the kids voting for?

26 October, 2012

Marianna

Darling, looks like you are having a pretty good time. Despite the fact that the passionate sunbaked paella-eating Span is not as romantic as you’d hoped. And by the way, its snowing in Riga. YES – did you hear me??! Wet white sleety snow, everywhere, even down my collar where the boys threw a “snowball” at me this morning. My feet are wet. My nose is cold. And I have longing in my heart for Spain… mmmm…. a modern townhouse on the outskirts sounds PERFECT! Love (and you’re welcome back here any time soon), Marianna

We-ell… could it be that you are just a bick homesick, dear? “Rushing back to Bulgaria, spending Christmas with family” – of course, Spain cannot compete with that.

Truth be told, it is not Spains fault that you made it up as a European version of Argentina, putting all your hopes on it being vastly different than Germany. Why do you think all Germans spend their holidays (and winters) in Spain? Because it is NOT that much different ;-)
Of course there are not many people around in the small towns, the young ones are all working in those ugly tourist traps like Benidorm (and there are worse ones!) or off to the big cities, hoping for work in the crisis! And I cannot imagine that you would not find busy streets and lots of people in gorgeous cities with rich history, culture and tradition like Barcelona, Granada, Madrid, Sevilla… especially now that summer is over. But these would not make for a cheap wintering place, I guess.
I confess, I am a bit sad that you do not find Spain to your liking, as it is one of my favourite countries … :-(
Again – if it is just homesickness (or travel-tiredness?), there won’t be much you can do against that bad feeling. Maybe it’s just enough countries for this year?
I am curious how your family will decide…

Well, the photos you guys took certainly ARE beautiful. Probably the prettiest streets I’ve seen in Spain, so far!

I wonder if I, too, haven’t given Spain “enough” of a chance. Why should I have to? Other places didn’t have to CONVINCE me I loved it! They just naturally DID!

And thus, I understand your feelings, and I can completely sympathize :-)

Luckily, my exit is predetermined, so I don’t have to make any hard decisions. One thing is for sure…Spain’s Spanish is different than Latin American Spanish…and I prefer the latter :-) Might as well go enjoy those holidays, and jump ship to CA!!

30 October, 2012

Snapping Blabber

Jenny, as usual I love your way of challenging me with your thoughts. Of course it could be that I am getting tired, in fact I am hitting a bit of an emotional wall at the moment.
I am not hating Spain, that is for sure. The people are so nice and welcoming, so it is impossible to have negative feelings to begin with. But Spain is definitely different than what I expected – in moth good and bad ways. I think my expectations were definitely hard to live up to and I am well aware of that. Hugs

Rach, the kids are good either way, although the girls would love another play in the snow for sure. Miss you so much!

Marianna! I am telling, stop inviting us back, we might just take you up on your offer ;)

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