RE: rule number 8...Yes I can see it now, Dani Filth kicking back with a cup of earl grey with no milk and a dark chocolate digestive to get in the mood for another Cradle of Filth ditty *sponsered by Mr Kipling*

I was in Rotterdam at the weekend and this junior eurovision was on the tv at my cousins. The female ones were the most bearable, followed by the 'rock' ones, even with the played on the knees bar chords. The real slap magnets were the boys, done up and mincing about like Daniel O Donnel or Julio Iglesias.

1. "Think about what inspires me." I did that!
2. "Grab people's attention." I had dyed hair and an earring at the same time!
3. "Let your feelings take control." I kin be more outta control sloppy emotional than yer average housewife watching Oprah!
4. "Cassette player." When I talk... I'm listening!
5. "Make sure your song has an effect on people." One person complained I sounded like a strangled cat. But that's still "an effect" - am I right?
6. "Lyrics of the song are relevant to the subject matter." Oh. Here's where I begin to stumble. My lyrics are about "hummingbirds" when the subject matter is world peace; then there was that one song I wrote about it raining on a sunny day. It's was my own fault really. I was drinking coca-cola and trying to write a ballad.
7. "Melody is the most important." See, I always thought knowing how to juggle tennis rackets was "most important."
8. "Different tastes put you in different moods." I had no idea this was meant literally! If I'd have had Sour Cream and Onion Pringles that one time, It'd have been me who wrote Last Goodbye instead of that Buckley character.
9. "Keep a notebook." I'd do this but I always ended up losing them. I'm pretty sure I'd written a song called Relative Ways when these Texans stole my notebook. It'd be my word against theirs....
10. "Would it make a listener hum the tune?" Oh, without a doubt! I think you can see except for some rotten luck I've been oh-so close to becoming a full-fledged rock star. Or a one-hit wonder at the very least!!

I kind of had a different yet similar experiance resulting in total ennui, I will attempt this tonight except I will try it with my kids, maybe the chemicals in the crisps and coke will work differently on them, although the smallest does not like coke so I will try tartrazine (as found in in squash), I might also experiment with large doses of sugar.