Sunday, October 9, 2011

Processing

We have spent a lot of time talking about the possible placement. One child is an easy yes. The other one has quite a few issues. Actually, they both have issues but who wouldn't after 6 different foster homes.

I have looked at my homestudy again and reread what child factors we are not willing to accept. We are not willing to accept a child who is cruel to animals, fire setting, harmful to self, sexually provocative with adults, sexually aggressive/abuse with children, FAS, RAD and a child in a wheelchair (our home would not easily accommodate). If they read that and are abiding by it then we should be OK. However, I also realize that we may end up with a RAD child anyways. The first couple items are things that would most likely show up in a more severe case of RAD. The first page of our homestudy shows the children in the home. The information that I have seen does not show a problem with injury to other children but we don't know what information they will throw at us on Wednesday.

Attachment issues are along a spectrum just as autism is. I believe that most children in foster care are somewhere in the spectrum. Children who come from abusive or neglectful environments are bound to have attachment issues because of the home situations. Bouncing from foster home to foster home only compounds the problem.

These girls are angry. They don't expect to stay anywhere long and don't trust adults. Why should they? Six moves proves them right. I would imagine that they would show up prepared to make us move them. They would think that since we will eventually move them they would rather force the move themselves.

So, bit by bit we are educating our teenagers. If we do accept the girls then we will do a lot of educating and planning. This whole things seems surreal......one day a call that your homestudy is being considered and then the next day you are matched. All this after it took a year to get our homestudy finished and our house is full of foster children.

Today two matching twin beds popped up on Craigslist....they now sit in my garage "just in case" they are needed.

I think it's a good idea to prepare your children. And also to have a plan in place to keep your little girl from being victimized by their anger. It's sad that girls that young have so much anger and I think you are right that they will try to sabotage the placement since they've learned not to trust adults.