Bed Of Roses

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All Rise...

The Charge

Fall in love for the first time, or all over again.

Opening Statement

These two main characters both have such emotionally troubled backgrounds
that this film should have been called "Bed of Baggage." Only true
fans of Christian Slater and Mary Stuart Masterson will be able to swallow this
heavy dose of syrup from the folks at New Line who, nonetheless have produced
another seamless DVD transfer.

The Evidence

Two solid and likable actors from the '80s try one more time at lasting
celebrity in the 1996 film Bed of Roses, a drama without credibility and
a romance without chemistry. New Line, a fairly new studio compared to the
dinosaurs, has a limited catalog to offer, so while we get gems like Blade and Austin Powers: International Man of
Mystery, the studio, in a respectable effort of total DVD support, must
offer their lesser known (and seen) titles such as this one. Slater, who has hit
hard times since Hard Rain, is
remotely likable, but somewhat annoying as Louis, a depressed florist who
personally delivers his flowers as a therapeutic remedy for a recent tragedy in
his life. Mary Stuart (where the heck did she go?) Masterson of Fried Green Tomatoes fame, co-stars
as Lisa, a workaholic banker with little interest in anything but her career and
her cardboard boyfriend played by a cardboard cut-out of Josh Brolin (I think he
has five lines in the entire film).

The story begins with Lisa receiving a mysterious phone call while away on
business. Visibly shaken, Lisa returns home, only to finally let it all out at
the window of her New York apartment. Loner street walker Louis looks up and
sees her crying and decides to send her flowers. Lisa, intrigued, manages to
track down her secret admirer and voila! The romance begins, but not without the
obligatory "this could never work out" introductory premise which, of
course, develops into the first kiss and so on and so on. Along the way, we are
introduced to Lisa's whacky girlfriend, nicely played by then newcomer Pamela
Segall who looks like Demi Moore's cute younger sister. We also realize that
Lisa and Louis are both quite weird (for lack of a better word) and perhaps this
film was intended to work as an allegory professing that, yes, weird people fall
in love, too. Little by little, we discover that each main character has a
tragic back story embedded in their quirky personalities, which adds depth to
the story, but stretches their likability factor to the max. Maybe
writer-director Michael Goldenberg was asking his audience to understand that
people with screwed-up backgrounds need equally screwed-up mates to survive in
this cold world. The sad thing is, I'm getting this message more from my
analysis than I did from the movie. You don't need a road map to figure out
where this story ends, hell, the DVD cover art tells you this anyway.

There are some severe credibility gaps in the screenplay that caused me to
roll my eyes in disbelief. For instance, just as Louis and Lisa's relationship
is getting serious, Louis drops a bombshell on her detailing the recent severe
tragedy in his life and how it's affected him. I don't want to give the tragedy
away, but any normal single female upon hearing this upsetting story would have
to go home and decide whether or not they want to get involved with a guy with
this much emotional baggage. What does Mary Stuart do? Sleeps with him, on the
spot. Strike one! Then the next morning, she wakes up to find he has taken her
clothes to the dry cleaners, purchased her a bathrobe, a toothbrush, et cetera.
Once again, any normal female would say, "Hold it. Hit the brakes there,
slick." What does Mary Stuart do? She thinks he's cute and amazing. Strike
two! Suddenly, without even a clarification scene, Lisa has dumped cardboard
Josh and is practically moving in with Mr. Bathrobe. Next is an old cinematic
trick, there are not one, but three music montages to show the progression,
deterioration and re-progression of this bizarre union. Strike three!

Writer-director Michael Goldenberg has a nice credit on his résumé
with his adaptation of Contact, which
probably played a part in his selling of this film to New Line. Unfortunately, I
can't fathom how he got past a pitch meeting with this unusual premise. The DVD
box art compares the film to Sleepless in Seattle, but it's
not a comedy. Filmed in New York (but it could have been Toronto considering the
underuse of a great location), Bed of Roses never really draws you in,
you can't really care about the characters when their choices and eccentricities
are so off-the-wall. Masterson and Slater do their best with the material, I'm
just surprised that Masterson supported some of her character's single gal
choices without a debate with the director. Initially, Louis looks and acts
somewhat serial killer-ish, but Lisa is taken in by him anyway, no questions
asked. I've liked both of these actors in other films, but here they seem lost,
searching for a handle on their roles as well as each other. The entire
supporting cast (except Segall) is reduced to two and three line walk-ons,
leaving the two leads to carry this heavy material. Oops, they dropped it.

The anamorphic video transfer is typical New Line, superb. The picture is
sharp and clean, with vibrant colors and no shimmering from digital enhancement.
Flesh tones are uneven at times, which could be a result of lighting choices by
the cinematographer. There is no evidence of scratches or dirt in the transfer
and the establishing shots of New York make one feel as if they are looking out
the window of a high rise.

The Dolby 5.1 surround sound audio track is top notch, but mostly you will
hear Michael Convertino's moody incidental music and occasional city effects.
Because Bed of Roses is not an action flick, there are not a lot of
opportunities for channel effects, unless you want to hear someone delivering
flowers in crystal clear 5.1 surround.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

This disc does include the music video for Jan Arden's
"Insensitive," a theatrical trailer, cast and crew bios, and boasts a
top-notch transfer.

Closing Statement

Even fans of this film may have a hard time with a purchase of this disc, as
the subject matter does not warrant repeat viewing or, for that matter, high
quality video and audio. Tape it off of HBO.

The Verdict

Loved the transfer, had a tough time getting comfortable in this Bed of
Roses.