MetaSmile Blog

Top Ten Tips for Improving Your Relationships

Shelle's Tipps zur Verbesserung deiner Beziehungen.

I spent the holidays with my family and therefore had the opportunity once again, to think about relationships and how I contribute to what happens, what goes right and what slips off the rails.

How could I be a better person this year?

As I began to think about the upcoming year, I have asked myself: “How could I be a better person this year?”

And this list is just what I need! Please take a look and write a comment about what you think and what’s on your list.

Enjoy beauty

(10) Look at beautiful nature around you, and notice how it makes you feel. Research shows this will lower your stress level and make you feel good. And when you feel good, you make your relationships better.

(9) Imagine how you want your key relationships to improve this year. See an image in your mind’s eye of being with each person you care about, listening to each other, being open to each other, laughing and sharing fun activities together. Find examples in the past of when you already were just like you want to be now with them.

Anchor your positive imagination

(8) Create an anchor (association) for each key relationship, when you see how you want to be with them in your mind’s eye (from 9. above), to recall this image and the feeling it gives you. You can sigh in a wistful way, touch a finger, smile, and feel the smile on your face, or just picture the person and you.

Forgive ...and...

(7) Think about who you need to forgive, and forgive them fully for whatever happened. A new year is a great time to start with a clean slate, and a re-opened heart.

(6) Think about to whom you need to ask for forgiveness; apologize, ask forgiveness, and make amends. There are probably some people, with whom you have been inpatient, dismissive, irritable, cranky, unfair, angry etc. Start with a clean slate by reconnecting, taking responsibility, apologizing and do something meaningful to them to make amends.

... appreciate.

(5) Tell and show your favourite people why you appreciate them. Make it short and sweet and true (of course.) Why are you grateful that they are in your life?

(4) Tell and show someone who needs a boost what you respect, appreciate, and love about them. Your words can make a huge difference.

(3) When someone annoys you, breathe deeply, touch your anchor and remember what you appreciate about them. It makes it easier to listen and find out what is happening for them.

Photo by Megha

Be kind and helpful.

(2) If someone is aggressive with you, breathe deeply, touch your anchor, looked concerned and say tell me more! Be in a curious state and seek to understand their point of view. When you delay reacting, and go for understanding their point of view, you are more likely to get their point, even if you don’t share it!

(1) Speak your truth, be kind and helpful. The people you care about will eventually thank you for your candour!

(1.a) Open your heart and be full with inner strength. Relationships aren’t as difficult as they seem and they are so much more rewarding that we ever thought.

Shelle Rose Charvet

Shelle is an expert in below-conscious communication processes, what drives people to do (or not do) things, outside of their awareness. Shelle and her ideas have been seen on CNBC, CBC, CTV, Global, among others. She helps the public understand the persuasion strategies of politicians and political parties during election campaigns.