Boy Gets Genitals Caught in Escalator.

It’s just not possible for me to read that headline without laughing. We know accidents happen on escalators, but how the hell did this come to pass!? (source)

Out of all the things I can think of getting caught in an escalator, my genitals wouldn’t even make the list. Granted, this boy was only three and probably low to the ground and playing on it while his parents weren’t paying attention. Even so, his genitals!? Not a shoe lace? Not a piece of torn fabric dangling from his pants? Not the sleeve on his shirt? His damn genitals? Well, maybe he…or maybe he… I guess he could have…Nope, forget it. I have no fucking clue how.

I only know one thing for certain. This boy will be terrified of escalators for the rest of his life. Imagine being so scarred for life (literally and mentally) that hanging out with your friends at the mall means meeting them on the next floor because you will only use the elevator. It’s like “Hey, why doesn’t Steve go up the escalator with us?” “Well, he almost got his dick ripped off once by an escalator as a child.”