This week’s IGN Zombie Simpsons fellatio is an exercise in sloppily faked enthusiasm. Lisa’s teacher is Miss Hoover, not Mrs. Hoover (part of the fun of Ms. Hoover is that she very much wants to be Mrs. Somebody and isn’t). Then there’s “science water”, which very pointedly isn’t capitalized in the episode but is in the review. There are also a couple of basic editing errors. If you’re going to pretend to enjoy something you’ve got to pay attention to the details or else your paramour/meal ticket might become suspicious.

Anyway, here’s the edited, synergy-less review. Enjoy:

May 4, 2009 – “Waverly Hills, 9021-D’oh” was a fantastic episodeexample of just how farThe Simpsonshas fallenand was quite possibly my favorite of the season. It followed the family, with the exception of Maggie who was conveniently absent, as they tried to work the system to get Bart and Lisa enrolled at a more prestigious elementary school and it did so with hilarious referencesits usual lumbering, expositive style and smart storytellinghalf-baked nonsensical twists. And it was funnyboring. Very, very funnyboring.

After Marge became over-hydrated sampling Science Waterthe opening conceit, she snuck into Springfield Elementary to use their lavatories. She discovered cartoonishly terrible conditions, overcrowded classrooms and teachers that just don’t care,all of which have existed for a long time but which must now be painstakingly spelled out for the audience. Marge watched as Mrs.Ms. Hoover reached tenure and proceeded to let Ralphteach the classhave a small cameo: “Class, in what year was one plus one? The answer is, the Amazing Ralph.” She took her complaints to Principal Skinner, but was simply met with a stocked wet barhackneyed gag that’s been done better in severalearlierepisodes.

The idea of getting the kids into school in Waverly HillsPlot Necessary Suburb soon took hold. There was noa forced comparison between the two schools. Waverly Hills had an auditorium and a gym that are in separate rooms, which we’ve seen at Skinner’s school many times! Whereas Springfield Elementary combined math and gym to create “dodge book.” To beat the system, Marge suggested they rent a cheap apartment in Waverly HillsPlot Necessary Suburb to gain residency and then send the kids to school there. With this basic set up, the episode was freeto cover what often results in the best episodestwo tracks of tepid zaniness: the kids dealing with school, and Homer trying to pull off a scheme. Bart and Lisa have often been thrown into new school-related situations, though rarely do they have this little to actually do with school, whether it’s both being sent to the same grade (“Bart vs. Lisa vs. 3rd Grade“), adventurous field trips (multiple episodes) or Lisa posing as a college student (“Little Girl in the Big Ten“). The episode didn’t waste much time establishing the situationramping up the wackiness. Bart sealed his reputation in a hilarious bit with Chief Wiggum “arresting him” in return for Bart going to Ralph’s birthday party. The fact thethat Wiggum was trying to make the same deal with Fat Tony and his cronies made the bit all the bettertake even longer. Bart then made Lisa cool in the most hacktacular way possible by telling the Waverly HillsPlot Necessary Suburb elite that she was best friends with Alaska Nebraska, the well-named Hannah Montana parody who showed up for one scene to monologue a while.

It all played out exactly as one might expects from formulaic television, but with a level of funny that has become all too commonrare in these latter double-digit seasons: little to none. The school storyline bits involved time wasting set pieces such as Chalmers and Skinner conversing like a married couple, Milhousestuck playing hide-and-seek for three weeks, Ellen Page (Juno) voicing the cynical Alaska Nebraska (“Could you tell I lip-synched that whole speech?”) and the Caitlin trio delivering some of my favorite lines from the episodelines which, like last week, were funnier in ‘Mean Girls’: “Those are last year’s shoes! Kill her!” “Also, it’s Lisa.” “Kill her twice!”

Equally as goodtime consuming was the storyline about Homer and Marge establishing residency. Homer’s tour of apartments with Cookie Kwan was a lot of funate some clock: “I can’t afford this place, it’s way too fancy. Sometimes there’s not a train going by.” The best partmost mechanically plugged in pop culture reference was having the residency inspector be the coin-flipping Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men. (Homer: “Heads! I mean, tails! I mean, on it’s side!”) His use of the air gun to validate Homer’s parking was hystericalconformed exactly to type. This storyline had a great twistmeandering middle to it, as Homer needed to live in the apartment in preparation for a random inspection. The storyconceit then basically became about Homer role playing life as a college bachelor, down to pretending to meet Marge for the first time at a party: “How about you, me and my wife have a two-way?”

This brilliantlypredictably turned into Marge taking over Homer’s life and apartment, as new girlfriends often do on television. When the kids were ready to return to the status quofinished getting chased around Plot Necessary Suburb, Homer and Marge decided it was time they had their home in the suburbswrapped things up. Overall, “Waverly Hills, 9021-D’oh” was a smarttedious, funnyformulaic episode that not only continued the trend of greatdimwitted post-HD-switch episodes, but also outshined them allcould’ve spewed from the Powerbook of the laziest Hollywood hack.

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