Delboy and Boycie are walking towards Sir Walter Raleigh House. As they approach they pass a black car with two men sat in it, they don’t notice the men and the men don’t notice them. One of the men is about fifty wears glasses and is stocky in a dark suit, looks a real villain, the other man is a lot younger, tall and a typical greaser in a leather jacket, his black hair is styled like buddy holly.

BOYCIE: Well that was another complete balls up, Del that is the last double date I go on with you.

DEL. Whadda ya mean, it went alright for me (rubs his hands together) your too much of a prude that’s your trouble.

BOYCIE. I am not a prude, it’s just that I don’t appreciate you and that Alice being almost down to your underwear while myself and Julie where trying to have a romantic conversation.

DEL. Leave it out Boyce, a romantic conversation to Julie is the geezer remembering to say goodbye to her in the morning.

BOYCIE. Julie is not like that, that’s her other friend, what’s her name, Marlean. No, no, no my Julie is more cultured than that, she likes taking things nice and slow.

DEL. Just as well she met you then innit, because while me and Alice where onto desserts you where still blowing ya soup (laughs)

Boycie looks up

BOYCIE. Ere, aint that your dad up there?

DEL. Yeah, what’s he looking at?

Del and Boycie now notice what Reg is looking at.

DEL. The dirty old…….(shouting in a deep voice) Oi, what you doing looking at my wife?

Reg jumps back but sees that it’s Del

REG. Oi you watch ya mouth, anyway I wasn’t looking at anyone.

DEL. No course you weren’t dad (to Boycie) Triggers gonna be a doctor.

Del and Boycie laugh

REG. Come on, get up ere, ya mums been worried about ya.

Del looks proud.

INT. NIGHT. THE TROTTERS FLAT

Del enters with Boycie

DEL. I said it’d be alright if Boycie stayed over, he’s had a row with his dad.

REG. What about this time?

BOYCIE. Oh you know, this and that.

REG. nothing to do with you flogging knackered bikes he’d put aside for scrap then?

BOYCIE. How do you know about that?

REG. He was in the Nags head tonight, he wasn’t half pissed off with you as well. (to Del) and oi, you better not have bought any.

Del and Boycie exchange guilty looks.

DEL. No courseI ain’t, come on, you can sleep in my room, top and tale do ya?

BOYCIE. Yeah, anything’s better than a hiding off my old man.

As Del and Boycie go through to the bedroom area Del turns off the TV, again grandad wakes, puts it back on then goes to sleep again.

Reg goes over to the balcony and closes the door and curtains, as he does our point of view switches to the street outside.

EXT. NIGHT. POV SHOT – BACK OF BLACK CAR

The two men that Del and Boycie passed earlier are watching as Reg closes the curtains.

YOUNGER MAN. I don’t mean to keep going on, It’s just that if I’m giving someone a hiding, I usually like to know what they’ve done to deserve it.

OLDER MAN. A thug with a conscience, young Danny & Tony didn’t tell me they had a minder with a mind.

YOUNGER MAN. They didn’t tell me anything, they just said to be outside the Nags Head at nine ‘O clock because they had some work for me and that it was a favour for an old friend and I’m not to ask any questions.

OLDER MAN. The nags head?

YOUNGER MAN. That’s the name of the boozer I met you outside of.

OLDER MAN. Right.

YOUNGER MAN. So?

OLDER MAN. So what?

YOUNGER MAN. So what’s it all about then?

OLDER MAN. It’s a good job Danny and Tony told you not to ask any questions isn’t it, or you could really start to get on my tit’s.
Look I run a business in North London, a very nice part of North London and recently that business was robbed. And that is why you’re here. I don’t let things like that drop.

YOUNGER MAN. How do you know who done it?

OLDER MAN. If you wave enough dough in the right kissers its amazing what you can find out. In-fact I’ve paid out more money getting this mush’s name than was actually stolen in the first place.

YOUNGER MAN. That don’t make sense to me.

OLDER MAN. Of course it doesn’t and that’s why people like you will always be the muscle with the second hand coat and a flick knife and people like me will always be the brains with a black Jag and wallet that could choke a horse. Let me explain it to you boy, lets say I’m robbed once of a thousand pounds and I let that go, what sort of message does that send to your everyday petty criminal? It tells them I’m soft, I’m an easy target, word gets round and before you know it I’m robbed again and again of a thousand pounds. Know one thing son, I am not soft and I am not an easy target. Now for arguments sake lets say I’m robbed once of a thousand pounds and I don’t let it go, lets say I pay two thousand pounds to find out who robbed me, let’s say I leave this person with a permanent limp a nice little scare where his nose used to be, now that person and his villainous friends know not to mess with me don’t they? in-fact the state I’m, or should I say the state you’re going leave this fella in will leave him and those like him not daring come within a ten yards of my gaff without written permission.

YOUNGER MAN. (a bit shaken) Yeah?

OLDER MAN. Yeah. And that’s if I’m in a good mood, if he catches me in a bad mood his mother may have to buy a black dress, you know what I mean?