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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Yes, you in the front row on the exercise machine at the gym. I am sick and tired of having to look at your backside and having to watch as your shorts get shorter and shorter. I do not want a view of your behind!

This is what I had to see at the gym the other day. This young girl who is wearing a tiny, tiny pair of shorts, you know the kind with writing across the butt. I will never know why you would want wording going across your butt, you might as well post a sign that says "Look at my rear". Anyway, this poor girl had on a camisole which did nothing but show her bra, and these little shorts. The shorts were so small that her butt cheeks were hanging out, and her underwear were riding up. So she gets on the machine in front of me and all she can do is keep yanking at her underwear which keep going farther and farther up. She really didn't exercise much because she was too busy pulling at her underwear. I felt bad for her, but was annoyed at the same time. She was a teenager, who in their right mind would let their kid go out of the house like this.

Then their is the girl on the track who's shorts are so small they leave nothing to the imagination. Why? Do these young girls think that the young boys are the only ones looking at their bodies? Chances are it's the gross old man who is a pervert who is going to be the one looking.

Parents~ Wake up! Why would you want some pervert looking at your daughters? Take some parental authority and teach your daughters how to dress. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to wear a dress to your ankles to be modest. But do you really want your girls to be wearing something that is going to have people staring at her?

What you wear says a lot about you.
A few weeks ago we were driving around, it was a warm day, and walking down the sidewalk were two young girls wearing cut-off shorts and bikini tops. It was not the beach, and it was not hot out! My eight year old turned around to stare, and she said, Mom why are they dressed like that?
You know what their lack of clothes said to me- I have no self respect and I don't care what people think of me. Again, why would a parent let their girls go out like that?

We as moms and dads need to set the example and teach our girls that what we wear does matter, whether we are at the gym or the park, our clothes have a lot to say about us.

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comments:

I've been reading Girls Gone Mild and she talks about things like this. I'd recommend it! It's really sad that, intentionally or not, we've allowed young women (and girls) to think that they need to show off what they got to get attention.

Right on, Brodie!!! I totally agree!!! I get sick and tired of looking at these half-dressed girls. Not to mention, I DON'T WANT MY HUSBAND LOOKING AT THEM!!! I don't want that temptation flaunted in front of him. I have deal with it enough with my own sister!

Sometimes the kids change their clothes after they leave the house and the parents aren't aware what they are doing. Still an issue of parenting but as a mom of four grown kids (who turned out REALLY great EVENTUALLY) I've learned over the years kids can be VERY tricky and you THINK you know what's going on but they get to an age where it's very very hard to stay on top of it. But your point is absolutely right--these kids need to realize they are making statements they may live to regret very very much. But that kind of awareness often comes AFTER one learns the hard way.

Agree Agree Agree!!! However, I'm with Diane...I was one of those kids who had clothes when I left home, and clothes that I put on when I got to where I was going. I'm not proud of it, but I was not the only one doing it...my poor mom would have had a conniption if she'd seen what I wandered the streets of our good city in!

That said...we've worked hard to be examples to our kiddo that how you dress is important, and that it's modesty that's important. She's only 7, but she seems to have pretty good ideas of what we're after. When she sees someone inappropriately dressed, she does the same thing you mentioned, and quietly asks me why those people are outside of thier house with (insert body part here) where people can see it!?

Little funny story - I'm a grown woman...bought myself a pair of $3.00 shorts to work out in, and probably gave my fellow gym goers an eyefull. Turned out they were short shorts, and short shorts + treadmill = uber wedgie. I was so embarassed, I was constantly pulling them back down...gah. Those things won't ever be worn again.

Still, I think it is important to teach my daughter to respect her self in all aspects of her life. It is a difficult task, trying to inspire confidence while teaching her to adhere to adults and propriety.

As for my clothes, they say that I am a mom of a baby which can be told by the smeared peas on my shoulder and the snot about two feet up from the ground on my pant legs.

I think it all depends on the culture. Here in Singapore, girls wear teeny, tiny shorts, whether they're working out or just going to the mall. For them, it's no big deal. But in the Philippines, where I'm originally from, you'll get catcalls for wearing such things. you just have to be aware of the kind of society where you'll be wearing your clothes.

Hello from someone also in Australia! This is my first time to your lovely blog. I enjoyed reading this post. I have a daughter who is almost 4, and I really am trying to instill a sense of modesty and self-respect in her. I don't let her wear revealing clothing, and I pray she will carry this with her as she gets older. It shocks me to see what a lot of girls, and women too, get around in.Blessings,Andrea

I only wear skimpy things for my husband around the house. Some things are just for his eyes only. I can't believe what some people wear in public. What really turns me off is the men who go around with their pants falling down so far, their butt crack shows! That is really disgusting!

As a mother of a teenage girl, boy you just struck a nerve with me. I totally agree that girls these days are sending the wrong message to all the wrong kind of guys. And it's not just the behind we have to worry about! Often the "girls" are showing way too often!

I would say that there is an issue across the board. Trends are one thing, but how children are taught to communicate with adults and dress has gotten pushed to the side. At the nursery where I worked kids would come in and ask for a job wearing a ratty t-shirt and unable to make eye contact. The worst was when these kids walked in with their moms and had them ask for the job!

Happy SITS day!...I couldn't agree with you more! I think when girls dress like that it shows a lack of self-esteem. My parents definitely regulated what I wore, I'm glad they did! I'm a new follower! Love your blog!

Hi!I agree with you 100% with this issue! it makes me sick to see young girls to this.. it seems that before they leave their they look for the shortest thing available, and I wonder where there parents are!

I don't allow my 2 daughters to wear clothing with words on the rearend ! I am completely offended that they make these clothes for little girls. Ialso don't like bikinis on toddlers or elementary aged girls --why are some mothers in such a hurry to sexualize their young daughters?! Stopping by from SITS

I totally, 100%, agree with you. I'm pregnant right now with my first child, a girl, and I keep seeing things exactly like this and they make me sad, and sick. I don't want to be the overbearing mom in a world where evidently it's ok to let girls dress like hookers...but it looks like I'm going to have to be the voice of reason with her, because society sure isn't doing it. Following you now!

Brodie, Stopping by from SITS =) absolutely necessary and fantastic post!! I have a near 2 year old little girl & pray for the wisdom to be able to lead her in self respect and modesty. Have a beautiful week & your blog is def one I will be following.

I have 2 daughters (14 & 20) & my oldest likes to wear "a little too short" skirts & she always gets irritated when I make her go change. She's always saying "I'm 20 now & you can keep telling me what to wear" (in a joking tone). I told her as long as I am supporting her I can.

Thank you for this! Sometimes I feel like the only 22-year-old around who doesn't want a bunch of creepy men looking at me.

And for what it's worth, my fiance really appreciates that I respect myself enough to dress well (not dress suggestively). He think it makes me more beautiful. I wish all men felt that way, so that women could respect themselves and still feel beautiful.

TRUE THAT! in the summer time we have teenaged high school girls standing out on the main drag in bikinis, trying to get people to pull in for a fund raising car wash. using their bodies to attract customers. and it WORKS! makes me ill.

Teenagers are smart and know how to leave home looking like everything is proper. They also know how to return home looking like they just studied at the library. They are masters of negotiation and are good actors. Don't you remember being a teen?

It's not always the parents fault their kids leave the house looking like that. As parents you do the best you can and hope they are doing the things you were doing as a teen. Great post!!

Awesome post! As a parent I totally agree. And we have to start them YOUNG. My daughters know that I will NOT spend my money on BRATZ dolls because of the message they send. And the other day my 6 year old pointed a woman out in WalMart, "mommy that woman's belly is showing and that's inappropriate." Keep teaching! Happy SITS

I just came to your blog from SITS and I am thankful for your post, I wondered if we were at the same class!! So embarrassing for them, and the thing is I went to an aerobics class and she was in there, and no boys were!

We will keep teaching! I don't have girls, but I have to train my boys not to look!

Congrats on your SITS day! Great post! I have two young daughters and all three of us dress very modestly. In our family we believe modesty is not only made up of the clothes on your body, but more importantly modesty is contained in your actions. My husband and son dress and act very modestly too. Being modest just feels good, and there's no embarrassing underwear pulling. Peace. :)

Perhaps what disturbs me most about young women's clothing trends is when my husband has to literally guard his eyes, at church. We had one collage gal actually wear a VS "t-shirt dress" (with spaghetti straps and low cut) with the word "Sexy" on the small of her back to Sunday morning church. Of all places!

happy SITS day. I already commented on this post days ago...but I just want to stress you can't just isolate the issue around dress. if you want your kids to model a certain set of values as exemplified in their dress-=well it means you need to track what they read, what they watch on TV/dvd/the movies, the video games they play with (this is a BIGGY), one lady already mentioned the dolls (and other toys they play with), the books they read. it's the total package folks. AND as some have already pointed--the responsibly doesn't only lay at the feet of the girls--boys need to be taught responsible engagement too. it's a tough world out there. AND what about the makeup young girls start using to make themselves look older and more alluring. it's really scary. i'm the mom of four grown kids--1 girl/3 boys and i can tell you i'm glad those tween and teenage years are well behind me!! good luck to you all.dianeswords.wordpress.com

Very, VERY well said!! I have no idea where teenagers seem to get the idea that showing so much form and skin equals looking "older". I know that's the goal for most but it really is just a display on their poor judgment.

I am HUGELY RELIEVED that my daughter has major modesty issues (hopefully THIS side of rational!) and has no interest in that sort of attire. And it makes me sad that long glam ball-gowns have been replaced by micro-disasters. Ugh!

Great post! Very well said, I totally agree. It is sad that girls feel the need to dress this way. There are plenty of ways to dress modest, and still be pretty, I do it every day! :) Thanks for sharing!

I couldn't agree more. I am 25 and just don't get this trend among girls only slightly younger than me. The worst thing that I have seen is low rise underwear for toddlers because their jeans are also low rise. Add this to shows like Toddlers and Tiaras and I want to scream and start singing Pink's Stupid Girls song. Happy SITS day BTW!

Sorry! I'll put more clothes on next time I'm on that silly treadmill! I'm always getting in trouble for being so young and dressing so sexy :) Very cute site! I'm so glad you were featured on SITS so I could find you!

Randomly found your blog today, but I'm glad I did. As a former middle school teacher, I have had to deal with this more times that I can count. I have suffered numerous eye rolls and endless heavy sighs and have been right every single time.

I was "that teacher." The teacher who is cool enough to call the girls out on their dress code violations, but still respected rather than argued with. I would call parents up to the school with replacement clothes or they could use some of mine (yes, I kept a lovely little stash). I'm going to read the book that your first commenter recommended and hopefully we can turn this horrible little trend around.

That is really gross..I have 3 grown daughter's and 6 grand daughter's and I am thrilled they always look nice and never trashy!! Happy Sits Day it is my first time to your blog I think I will look around and follow!

As a mother of a daughter, this is an important issue to me. I see it as a larger issue than simply a parenting issue. I am concerned about the larger societal messages that young girls are receiving about their value and worth that are so powerful many of them become hyper sexualized not just in dress but also in their language and behaviours. We need our children to feel valued for more than their appearance and sexuality, but media continually floods young girls particularly with unhealthy messages about femininity. This is an issue for all people - including those raising boys. I work in a high school and I privy to what teen boys expect girls to look and act like. Our MTV culture is shrinking the spectrum of femininity to a very specific prototype that values sexualized behaviour and a specific body type.

So the parental factor you have raised is important. But I also see the need for societal acceptance of unhealthy portrayals of femininity to change.

SO true. I dress modestly and I'll expect my daughter to do the same when she's old enough to pick out her own clothes. Of course, a lot of her outfit choices will still be somewhat dictated by me (until she has her own money) since I'm not going to buy pants with words on the behind or shorty shorts. I live right by the high school and the middle school, and I swear shorts have gotten way shorter. Looking back at pictures of my friends and I growing up, you don't see anything that short on us, even in high school!

As a mother of 4 boys, I always try to talk to them about respecting themselves too. They don't necessarily dress risque, and I scream if I see underwear sticking out of pants hanging too low, but we do talk about using bad language, for example...or who they hang out with...what do their friends do when no parents are around? I know that at some point, these kids are going to test the waters a little bit, but hopefully I've encouraged them to show some self-respect.

I agree with this post but also agree with other posters that it isn't always the parents fault. We can teach our children but we can't be with them every minute and the choices are up to them. They can be sneaky and unless you're searching their backpacks, their lockers and taking them right to their first class, you can't completely control what they wear - and who wants such a distrustful relationship anyway, it just forces them to rebel. You teach and hope they will be wise.

I hate the way everyone is showing their bra straps. Why is that considered attractive.

I never thought low rise jeans were attractive. It tends to emphasize the hip fat most girls have and it doesn't take much to show off a butt crack.

This post is right on...it all starts with the parents, maybe they're suffering from mid-life crises themselves. I'm in the gym and see females who I KNOW are older than me dress way too scantly for their age. I mean, I wear a regular loose fitting top and capri workout clothes and they're in skin tight shorts and sports bras...this is where these young girls are getting the message that its ok to dress like this in any age...What happened to the old saying: leave it to the imagination?

As a young mother of a toddler girl, I'm terrified of how much smaller clothing options can get in 15 years. These girls are already walking around 80% naked, what next?? I can't imagine what the parents were thinking when they a) purchased the outfit and b) actually allowed them to leave the house wearing it??

I personally wear low-rise jeans, and if you wear the correct size (rather than pretending you're a size smaller for vanity's sake) they don't give you a muffin top. What kills me though, are bikini underwear for toddlers (bikini anything for toddlers, really), and the baby Bratz dolls that are dressed every bit as trashy as the grown Bratz. This was an excellent post. Happy SITS day!

Happy SITS day! I totally agree with you! As a mother of 4 boys, I totally respect girls who know how to dress modestly. We teach our boys to respect women and girls, but it is hard when so many act like they don't even respect themselves.

As the mother of a 2 year old and and soon be another daughter, I can only hope that my girls grow up to respect themselves. I can teach them the best I know how and put limits and rules on them. After I do all that I can as a parent, I just hope the world is kind to my girls and all girls.