Listening Tips For Productivity And Success

Many misinterpret communication as merely talking. When we fail to listen, we fail to communicate.

This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navyaircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authoritiesoff the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radioconversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.)

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECONDLARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE AREACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUSSUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREESNORTH--I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH--ORCOUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

The conversation above is hilarious. Moreover, it's a great backdrop when we talk about communication. Most people think that communication is all about talking. When this happens, they fail to value the power of listening and fail to communicate altogether.

It
is quite curious how we often neglect to listen to others. As social beings, communication seems to be
natural – allow me to rephrase that….talking seems to be natural. However, to properly communicate, we need to actively listen to others.

As
humans, we have a tendency to “Lock On” to information that we think favors our
side and/or to “Lock Out” information that we perceive as worthless. And the truth is devoured by our ego and we
spiral down into a selfish “communication” mode.

Stephen
Covey, author of the Seven Habits Of Highly Effective people once wrote that we
should “seek first to understand then to be understood”. As simple as that, we are drawn to realize
our need to humble ourselves and take the time to listen.

The value of the
Pause

When business communication (or any other type of communication) gets out of hand, we need to pause
and reorient ourselves. It takes a great
deal of will power to do so but in the end having it otherwise will be more
detrimental. Pausing before we respond
gives us time to evaluate the situation and the circumstances. It provides a time to collect our composure
and to sort through our own handles. No
wonder a lot of psychologists will advice us to count to 10. It’s not the numbers! It’s the value of the
“pause” that reflects the power of listening..

Empty out our scripts

If
we look more intently at ourselves, we will find that we often rehearse scripts
of retorts and rebuttals instead of actually listening. We wait for words suitable to inject our predetermined response. This is not active listening but a self-centered way of communication. Emptying our scripts encourages us to first
listen and see things from the other person’s point of view. To engage in the conversation with an open
mind we must let go of internal rehearsals.
To enjoy the fruits of meaningful communication we must empty ourselves
of the nagging desire to close our minds.

Resolving over winning

I
haven’t met anyone who does not want to win.
However, in communication, it’s not about winning an argument but
resolving one. We need to relax our
competitiveness and put on a more cooperative mood. Some argue better than others, and some
simply won’t argue at all. We can always
agree to disagree.

Avoiding
LO/LO is not as easy as flipping through the channels when watching T.V. We are trying to drop a mental attitude that
has been unconsciously accepted. Lock
on/lock out is an attitude that has been imbibed through constant exposure. It is an action without the benefit of
thought and reason. It robs us of the
opportunity to create lasting and meaningful relationships.

Comments

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AUTHOR

JP Carlos

6 years agofrom Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Hi there Au fait,

The story is really funny but there is much truth about human nature seen in it. It's sad that many people miscommunicate simply because they fail to listen. Thank you for stopping by and voting up and clicking awesome. Nice of you to do so. Have a great day.

AUTHOR

JP Carlos

6 years agofrom Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Hi Blond Logic. This hub is an eye-opener for me as well. We all have done something like this at one time or aotner - intentionally or not. But we learn and we grow along the way.

Thank you for sharing your insights and the kind gestures of voting up and sharing. See you around.

Mary Wickison

6 years agofrom Brazil

It's funny you know, often we read something like this and think, "I know someone just like that". The truth is I think we are all like this at some point. I am always ready with a quick on-liner and I often try and have the last word.

Now that you have put this in black and white, I understand more what I am doing and the negative affect it can have.

In my defense though, I would say I am open minded and listen to other people's views.

Very interesting hub. 'voted up and interesting and shared.

C E Clark

6 years agofrom North Texas

You are so right! Voted you useful and awesome!!

So often people only stay quiet hoping whomever is talking will hurry up and finish so they can talk again. They do not listen to what is being said. The excellent example of the captain of the aircraft carrier was priceless.

Great article-one wondes how many real disasters could have been averted if people had listened!Gorgeous avatar too:)

AUTHOR

JP Carlos

7 years agofrom Quezon CIty, Phlippines

I'm glad you like the article sir Michael. Listening is truly important. You can share this article with your branch personnel. Moreover, get them to share their ideas. This way you can also know how they feel about the subject.

Michael Caguiron

7 years ago

Hi sir!!! The hub is so pretty much sample for me..hope many people can read this...because communication is very important anywhere we are..like on their situation the conversation is very crucial...how about in little conversation? we can pause easily for better communication and ofcourse the power of listening.

AUTHOR

JP Carlos

7 years agofrom Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Hi there sir Edward, the value of the pause is so profound and can change lives and relationships. I believe that meaningful relationships start with proper communication. And proper communication requires active listening. If only people would just take the time to shut up and listen, there will be more understanding. :)

Thank you for leaving your insights.

Edward Y. Laurencio II

7 years ago

This is very nice sir. It was an easy read, yet the point is nagging! Thank you for emphasizing the value of listening. I believe that communication is subjective and personal in nature, yet we should learn to deal with it more objectively, that is, building and nourishing relationships, through the value of listening.:)

AUTHOR

JP Carlos

7 years agofrom Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Hello again, Ms. Mercado,

Communication can either be written, oral/auditory or can even be visual in nature. Having a bird’s eye view of what communication is all about helps facilitate better understanding of other processes and skills that is part of communication – e.g., listening, speaking, writing, using of non-verbal cues. But definitely, to become better at communicating, improving listening skills is imperative.

I'm really glad to read your first line "...we really need to help each other..." It's through this attitude of collective learning that we can foster significant development.

Ma. Carmen M. Mercado

7 years ago

I think Sir we really need to help each other to improve more on listening skills before helping us improve on communication.

AUTHOR

JP Carlos

7 years agofrom Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Hi Brinafr3sh, wouldn't it be great if people just took the time to listen more?

Brinafr3sh

7 years agofrom West Coast, United States

Thanks Jpcmc, nice hub. And I agree with you, if everyone would listen more then communication would be more simple to have.

AUTHOR

JP Carlos

7 years agofrom Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Thanks for the praise sankari.nayagam.

sankari.nayagam

7 years ago

It’s the value of the “pause” that reflects the power of listening.. .. Liked it very much. Well written!!

AUTHOR

JP Carlos

7 years agofrom Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Hi Danette Watt. Thank you for taking the time to read my hub as well as the kind words. I'm glad I was able to bring out a smile, or in this case an LOL in you.

Danette Watt

7 years agofrom Illinois

LOL, I agree, that video is funny. I too had heard about that conversation between the Navy and the lighthouse. True or not, it does illustrate your points well, especially the last about having to be the winner.

Great hub, good points well made.

AUTHOR

JP Carlos

7 years agofrom Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Thanks for reading the hub tonymac04. And yes, the anecdote is not true, the US Navy denied it ever happened.

Many problems could have been avoided if only people stop to listen more.

Thanks for the link. The video was hilarious!

Tony McGregor

7 years agofrom South Africa

I really enjoyed this read, thank you. Listening is so crucial to effective communicaiton yet we all so often forget or don't bother to listen and thenwe wonder why we are not getting through to the other person.

Thanks for sharing this.

BTW the story you relate at the beginning has been told many times in slightly different forms, so personally I doubt that it really happened like that. The point is very true and useful, though. You might enjoy this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR0lWICH3rY

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