Monday, October 24, 2011

I met Amy through the numerous Twitter parties we attend. We kind of have this thing for Twitter. Some people call it an addiction, we just call it love! I can't really think of anyone on Twitter who's made me laugh harder than she has!

Bio:

Amy blogs about the things she loves at As The Bunny Hops. This includes (in no particular order) travel, shopping and making ridiculously complicated cupcakes. She can also be found far too often on Twitter and ocassionaly updating on Facebook.

Keeping score has it's place. In sports. In games of scrabble. I'm pretty sure Mimi would say it's vital in Fantasy Football.

But there's a place keeping score doesn't belong, and that's in friendship. I can't say I've never kept a friendship score. I can't even say I never do it now. But it is something I try to avoid. And I've been so much happier-and I think a better friend-since I stopped keeping score.

What do I mean by keeping score? If you know how many times you've hosted your friend as opposed to her hosting you. If you know who bought the last five lunches. If you know the difference in prices between the last few Christmas gifts you've exchanged. Those mean you're keeping score.

I've certainly driven myself a little batty in the past, watching a friend who borrowed money and hadn't paid it back treat herself to something I couldn't afford. I've wondered why I was the one who was always calling or inviting someone over and I've let myself feel resentful in the past. Then I had to ask myself why. Why did I loan money in the first place? Why did I invite someone over? It was because I cared about them and wanted to help them out. Or I wanted to spend time with them because we have fun together. I wanted to be a friend.

Now when I give a friend money it's just that, a gift. If I buy lunch it's because I wanted to buy lunch. I don't expect to have things reciprocated in the same way. If you're my friend it's because I find value in our friendship and that's more than enough for me. Perhaps you always short on cash but you can make a killer blueberry pie (and when you're baking you always make an extra one for me). Maybe you don't really want to entertain in your home but you're always ready to drop anything and be there for a friend in need. All of these things have value, as do so many other things that I couldn't even begin to list them all. And there's really no point in trying to list them all, anyway. I refuse to keep score...

Thank you so much Amy for contributing to today's Friends You Love Guest Post! Make sure to check out other posts about friendships at Friends You Love! Do you have a guest post for today? If so, link it up and be entered to win a prize!

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comments:

Absolutely awesome reminder for ALL relationships!! Keeping score just leads to hurt feelings. I know its meant the end of friendships for me over the years and I'd like to thing I've learned from them.

So true! I wish more people were able to give from the heart and didn't feel the need to keep score. I love buying friends' lunch or such. I don't do it so they owe me. I do it because I love them and it makes me feel good.

This is so relevant to a conversation my friend and I were having on the phone today! A friend of hers - she now lives many states away from me :( - doesn't seem to have a solid grasp on EXACTLY what you are writing about here.

My friend does so many things for because, in short, she is HER FRIEND. She expects nothing beyond friendship, however, it appears that this ideal is not shared by both parties! I WISH WISH WISH I had this woman's e-mail address or FB, or ANYTHING to send this along to her so she could just UNDERSTAND.

Thanks for an awesome post. The web is a wide and connected place, perhaps your post will make it to her desktop by some other means :)