Sunday, 20 June 2010

I've been out today treating Mr Puddlecote Sr to his Father's Day sausage and chips. OK, it was a bit more refined than that but he being a South London boy, brought up in a working class heartland, it wasn't difficult to find an eaterie he'd enjoy which wasn't packed to the rafters with arrogant righteous types wittering on about the quality of the re-heated steak and mass-produced (in Swindon) French Chablis. Otherwise known as 21st century pubs (or Harvesters).

We went to an Indian restaurant. A bloody good one of 35 years standing, too, but obviously a bit low-brow for yer average pretentious ladder-climber on such an auspicious day as a fabricated marketing opportunity. Although fairly quiet, with barely a quarter of the 20 tables occupied during our time there, something happened which was both a surprise and emotionally warm.

People from different tables actually talked to one another.

How about that, eh? Social interaction. Remember it? People getting along and genuinely enjoying each other's company. All part of the moment together. Wonderful stuff.

Except that the dead hand of the state was still there stifling the reverie. One group turned up with an old woman who had recently broken her ankle but was determined to carry on regardless. She painfully took an age to reach her table, I mean about 5 minutes, and her beam of satisfaction at finally being able to sit down was a delight. At one point during the two hours we were there, she needed to visit the loo and the staff helped her as all other diners watched supportively while she struggled there in supported pigeon steps. Blessed with a great sense of humour, she returned making jokes about her recent frailty which cracked us all up.

The meal over, she weakly stood to go outside for a postprandial smoke. As we were all getting along nicely, many were calling for the restaurant owners to give her an ashtray to save the evident hassle of going outside where there was nowhere to sit. There were no objections whatsoever, in fact the sentiment was unanimous. Of course, the restaurant were forced to decline. They did so very politely and apologetically, emphasising that there was nothing they'd like more at that moment, but it wasn't their decision to make. As we all now know, it was decided back in 2006 that they, and their customers, are not allowed the choice.

The woman must suffer. Labour said so.

It reminded me of Hairy's hideous pomposity last year, where she attempted to turn generosity of spirit into a party political attack on a Conservative club who tried to accommodate its frail customers.

Some Tories just can’t help themselves. Is it really so difficult to obey the law and not smoke in public places?

The linked article pointed to a report about a club in Wales where pensioners were allowed a modicum of shelter from the February cold.

He said the three people caught smoking were pensioners and had been standing just inside an external door.

As Hairy says. How difficult can it be to throw pensioners out into the bitter late winter weather, eh? How difficult can it be to eject a woman who can barely walk when the entire clientele, and the owners, would rather she wasn't made to do so?

Not difficult at all if you're a Labour politician who isn't hampered by disabilities or age (remember when they used to defend such people?). They love making laws which do exactly that.

Like other Labourites who continue to dub the Tories as the 'nasty party', Hairy nevertheless believes that it is atrocious for anyone to make allowances for the old or infirm if they smoke.

And not only do they believe that, they actively promote it with appalling legislation.

Additionally, our hosts threw in a free post-meal liqueur for our table, and others it seemed to me, which could arguably be in contravention of Labour's ban on drinks promotion.

Because, you see, Labour administered the government which officially banned 'Happy Hour'. How apposite.

28 comments:

You didn't answer the question, by the way. And since I've been talking about abuses of personal and property rights since November 2008, if you're bored, how about fucking off, there's a good cunt? ;-)

You're right Cato, injustice and unfairness is really tedious and out of date. We should all just get on with our lives and not give a fuck about anybody else (unless we smoke, of course, in which case we've got to worry the whole time in case we upset some delicate antismoking flower with a wisp of our secondhand smoke, even outdoors).

Dick, I see the same thing every time I go to my local - a very popular elderly gentleman who walks (extremely slowly) with a stick occasionally hauls himself out of his chair and staggers outside for a smoke. I feel absolutely furious every time I see it happening - why should he have to go through that just because "the law is the law"?

Hahahahahahahahaha...how about fucking off, there's a good cunt? hahahahaha. My sentiments intirely. If you don't like the smell of tobacco smoke then FUCK THE FUCK OFF. I've had enough of these sanctimonious cunts DP!

Well DP…I too had an enjoyable experience recently at my local restaurant. You see I’ve taken to using ‘Big Pooh Nappy Bags’ for several months now, and I don’t mind telling you that for me there’re quite a fashion accessory, being discreet and tastefully designed I wouldn’t be without them for one moment – so there!

Now then - just recently I was dining out with friends when suddenly I gave way to a bowel movement, boy – what a stink! But guess what…no problem at all, why? Because my ‘Big Pooh Nappy Bags’ had everything under control.

Despite the big pile in my pants, which became embarrassingly squishy, I was able to look the world right in the eye, because I knew I could still sit there without having to go to the shit-box and dump my load.

Yep, that’s right, my ‘Big Pooh Nappy Bags’ were saying to me “Hey…you can crap boulders you mincy bollock, but we can swallow em’ right up so, you just sit back and enjoy your meal, you filthy smelly botty you!”

You can now buy them DP in ‘Regular Big Pooh’, or ‘Super Big Pooh’ sizes, in three delicious colors accept brown of course and each pair is double stitched which doesn’t just mean extra strength but also a great leak free experience. When you want to give that extra special present to someone you love then why not try these. Doesn’t this just sound like the kind of thing you’ve been waiting for?

You can also step up a gear for that real hardcore experience on your next night out – by taking a full pack of laxatives…and treat your ‘Big Pooh Nappy-Bags’ to a real workout!

Believe me, I’ve never had so much fun since raiding washing lines for elderly ladies surgical support stockings!

Despite all the noises being made by the new Coition Gummint there will be no relaxation of this outrageous law. We are not free people - we are governed. If someone wants to have a ciggie and no-one's going to be offended then leave us the fuck alone. Incidentally, I gave up smoking two weeks ago - my choice.

Yea I saw the Liebour scum Balls on commie Marrs make it communisim up as you go along show.Now I hear Liebour scum Darling bleating on about how the cuts are going be bad as implemented by the Tories.Hang on....Your the fucking cunts who caused the deficit.Your the fucking cunts who practically turned this country into a police state.

That's much more like it, Cato - last time you were far too polite in your wording of the antismokers' favourite "Smoke if you want but not near ME ME ME" stuck record. Good to see you showing your true colours.

As for your "rights to enjoy fresh air" (another favourite of the apparently ubiquitous antismoking nutter) - they don't exist. Your preference may be backed by the current laws, but you have absolutely no moral right whatsoever to demand that everybody, everywhere (including on private premises, FFS) maintains a particular atmosphere just to please you.

On the other hand, if you're simplying doing an imitation of a stereotypical paranoid, deluded antismoking idiot, congratulations - you've got it spot on.

You know what DP…I had a Cato once lurking around in my toilet bowl. He was a nasty piece of work…he was mean and moody with crap for brains…come to think of it that’s why he was in my toilet bowl in the first place.

Anyway, the upshot is I told him to crawl back down the u-bend and leave me alone…but you know what he said? He said “Your crapper stinks JJ and so do you!” Well that was it…I flushed him right down the pan and haven’t seen him since!

So, you’d better check out your shit box just in case you find a Cato.

Cato - so it's okay with you that in a room where absolutely nobody objects, an injured pensioner must not be allowed to smoke but must hobble to the door and stand outside in pain? So that your air, possibly hundreds of miles away, remains 'fresh'?

Unless you live a considerable distance from any other house or any main road, burn no gas or oil yourself and never cook, your air is not pure. If you live in a city, your air is far more heavily contaminated than in any rural smoker's house. Fresh air? There hasn't been much of that in this country since the industrial revolution.

What you object to is the smell of burning leaves. That is your choice, your preference and you can ban smoking in any premises you own or rent to your heart's content. You can also refuse to spend your money in any establishment that did allow smoking.

For my part, my house is a smoking zone and no antismoker is allowed inside. I also refuse to patronise businesses that (unreasonably) ban smoking. I used to be a regular pubgoer, now my visits are rare and brief and the evening continues elsewhere. You may delight in that. You may delight in watching the pubs close down. You might, one day, wonder why all those street cafes and pubs are boarded up because you'd rather like to use them. Too late.

If the figures are true, eighty percent of people in this country don't smoke. So by making twenty percent into subhumans who can be safely kicked out, that must mean the pub trade will see a massive influx of non-smokers, right?

Oddly enough, it didn't happen and it didn't happen because most of those who supported the ban never visited those pubs anyway. They supported a ban on something that was not affecting them at all.

Now they complain that they have to walk past subhuman smokers who are standing outside pubs. We weren't any problem to them when we were inside. They threw us out and now complain that we're outside.

There can be no reasoning with antismokers. There can be no compromise. We've tried, you don't want compromise.

You have declared us as subhuman monsters. Do not complain when we start acting like it.

"What about my rights to enjoy fresh air unsullied by you selfish bastards?"

You dont have that right you utter nitwit.If a pub (a private business) allows smoking, you choose if you want to go in or not. AT least in a free country.You dont have the right to dictate how someone runs their business.You dont have the RIGHT to enter a pub. You are there as a guest of the landlord. And you dont make the rules.

Smoking in restaurants was always annoying, especially when people smoked during a meal. Now if there was a designated smoking section with proper air control then that would be fine by me. same in pubs. have a smoking room and protect the bar staff and other areas from drift using an air curtain. This is not exactly rocket science technology.

Since the technology has been around ages thee must be a deeper reason for an outright ban. Is it control freakery? Or something more pervasive. since the whole of Europe seems to be banning smoking in various public places I am wondering about the role of the EU in all of this.

"What about my rights to enjoy fresh air unsullied by you selfish bastards?"

And my right to enjoy fresh air unsullied by those selfish bastard smokers too, Catosays. Depending on the weather conditions I find a gap of up to two or three whole feet is necessary outdoors, and sometimes it's just not convenient for me to move those few inches from where I was. Did I call them selfish bastards yet? Oh, yeah, I did, that's okay.

And while we're on it, what about those people who eat starchy food and force me to inhale their farts? Selfish bastards polluting my unsullied air. Or those people whose perfume smells like they had a bath in it? Selfish bastards polluting my unsullied air! Or those people who get a bit sweaty in the summer? Or those people who insist on eating garlic at lunchtime? SELFISH BASTARDS BASTARDS POLLUTING MY UNSULLIED AIR!!!

Look, since I quit smoking a couple of years ago I've gone from not even noticing the smell to finding it unpleasant, but nobody's chaining either of us down and forcing us to breathe it. Unless I'm really in a smoker's personal space I'm not going to be close enough to be bothered by it unless I'm immediately downwind. But you'll be pleased to know I have hit on the perfect solution that gets me out of the smoke without having to ask my friends to put their cigs out and sound like a whiny little bitch about it.

While its true what you've stated, that Labour made law some pretty stupid things to suit a few whingers, now Labour are no longer in power perhaps the real question should be ; "why havent the ConLibs repealed these laws since taking power"

A couple of months ago I was in a pub when three young men came in. Two were hale and hearty, the third, who they were assisting, had almost all of his right leg and half of his right arm missing. He was a survivor of an IED explosion in the 'Stan.His supporters had been there with him. They were in plain clothes, they'd brought their mate out for a pint to help him get back into life.Once this was known there was no way that they could pay for their drinks. When the injured man asked to be helped outside so he could have a fag there was a moment's consternation. Eventually the landlord 'closed' the pub and declared that we were now in a private party. The injured man and many others could then enjoy having a cigarette in a pub. The best post-script is that the taxi driver who took the three service men home refused to accept payment (he was a Pakistani).

selsey.steve - v. nice story and it and DP's post show that there is still common sense and compassion around. Makes the anti-smoking types seem petty, mean-minded and selfish. Of course, when, in today's budget, fags go up again, not one will consider that it might be a tad immoral to enjoy the billions we pour into the treasury whilst treating us like scum.

I think it's time for me to find a man with a van.

Big Yin - you don't happen to know of one, do you? We live in the same area!