Tag Archives: offers

I’m so excited to invite you to join me next weekend, May 8 – 10, in Colorado at Rocky Mountain Poly Living. We’ll convene at the Ramada Plaza Hotel in North Denver for a fabulous weekend of fun, networking, education, and socializing!

Polyamory Weekly Podcast legend Cunning Minx will be giving the keynote speech on Friday, followed by a fun Bohemian Nights Dance (both are included with your full weekend registration.) Continue reading →

What’s relationship success? Is your relationship a success or not, and how do you tell? How can you use “creative relationship design” to create a successful relationship tailored to your needs, and those of your partner/s?

This was the topic of the free call that I did a couple of weeks back, with Francesca Gentille. I’ve finally surmounted the technological hurdles to get this out in a form that anyone can listen to. Hooray! Below is the link to the YouTube page for the audio (the slideshow portion is fairly optional.)

If you are local to the SF Bay Area, you might be interested in the in-person class that Francesca and I are teaching THIS Saturday, April 26th: Afternoon Delights on the Wilder Shores of Love. (HINT: there’s a DISCOUNT CODE for those who listen to the FREE CALL recording below!) We’ve still got some spaces left, so grab a friend — or two, for best prices! — and sign up for this fun, interactive workshop!

Most of the time, in this blog, I focus on polyamory and other forms of “ethical non-monogamy.” Today, I’m offering something involving another facet of my own “outside the box” nature: Paganism. In a somewhat uncharacteristic way for me, I’m going to offer the poetry first, and the explanations after. So scroll down if you’re interested in more background on how this poem came to be, and why I’m posting it here. Enjoy! ~♥ Dawn

Out In The World, the Goddess Speaks

Out in the wind
the Goddess speaks:
Branches whispering to one another, swaying in the wind.
“Bend;” she says, “flexibility is the key,
lest in bearing your natural pressures, you would otherwise break.”Continue reading →

What’s relationship success? Is your relationship a success or not, and how do you tell? How can you use “creative relationship design” to create a successful relationship tailored to your needs, and those of your partner/s?

While this is a call where people can ask questions about our upcoming in-person class (see below), it’s not just a sales call — we are committed to providing value to everyone who joins us on the call! We plan to discuss some issues important to relationship success… starting with the question of what IS relationship “success”, and how do YOU measure it?

From February 10th to April 2nd 2012, Loving More, with the endorsement of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) conducted an internet-based survey of over 4000 participants who self-identify as polyamorous. This is the largest survey of self-identified polyamorous individuals to date. Individuals were recruited through local and regional listserves, Loving More email list, the PolyResearchers list, the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality’s (IASHS) student and alumni lists, and the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists’ (AASECT) AltSex list. With the exception of five questions, all the questions were drawn from among those asked in the NORC’s[1] biennial General Social Survey (GSS) in order to compare a sample of the polyamory community with the general US adult population.

This free Webinar is a chance to learn about the survey results firsthand and includes 30 minute Q&A at the end.

Hey polyamorous and open people, what do you think? Is feeling jealousy ever a “good thing?” What do “feelings of jealousy” mean to you? or about you? Check out the letter below from one of my readers, and my response, for some more thoughts on this topic.

Dear Dawn:

I hope this is quick. I don’t feel I have any place in a jealousy workshop, because I don’t see myself ever feeling jealous, because I think jealousy has to do with feeling upset because I’m not getting attention I feel is owed to me, and I don’t feel anyone owes me, or would ever owe me, attention. Is that a sign of low self-esteem? That is, is feeling jealous when one’s beloved gives attention to someone else ever a good thing? Thanks!

signed, KW

Hi KW:

Jealousy is neither good nor bad. It just IS. It’s a collection of feelings, and those feelings are *information.* What you do with the information is up to you, ultimately (though for some folks, it doesn’t feel like it.) If you feel “jealous” when your lover gives attention to someone else, in my view that means it’s a signal that there’s something there for YOU to pay attention to. Ask yourself questions like “what need do I have that feels like it’s not getting met (enough)?” “has my ‘love tank’ gotten filled enough recently, and if not, what could I possibly ask for (not demand!) that might have me feel more loved and more at ease with my partner?” It’s not about your partner “owing” you attention — it’s about you and your partner/s having a “winning relationship” in which the *relationship* wins because everyone’s needs are getting met, and everyone in the relationship feels like they’re “winning” (i.e., getting what they need in a win-win-win… manner.)

PS: Have you signed up for the 3rd and final teleseminar with Kathy Labriola and myself, on Monday October 21st at 5:45 – 7pm Pacific Time? Called “More Options for More Jealousy,” this is ANOTHER all new call, feature a new relaxation meditation, more models and options for dealing with jealousy, and a step-by step process for examining your beliefs and fears around your jealousy triggers. We’d love to have you join us! (or, if you can’t be on the call live, sign up anyway, and get the recording and the FREE “take home materials”!)

Have you or someone you love ever experienced painful episodes of jealousy in an open relationship? You know the ones… maybe you feel alternately cold, and hot, and like you want to do damage to the furniture, or your partner, or maybe even yourself. You want to scream, and feel like this poly/open stuff is just too hard, and you just want to throw in the towel and give up. Ever felt like that?

Yeah, me too! And honestly, who hasn’t? (Well, ok, maybe you haven’t, but if so, I’ll bet your partners have! And that’s not fun either.) Jealousy is all too common, and it’s never fun. Would you be willing to invest about an hour of your time in order to learn effective, practical in-the-moment techniques to reduce these jealous feelings — even as they are happening?

“JEALOUSY FIRST AID”

Wednesday Sept 4, 2013, at 5:45 to 7pm

This freeteleseminar will be facilitated by Dawn Davidson and Kathy Labriola, two well-known polyamory educators and counselors in the San Francisco Bay Area. Understand your jealousy, and learn and practice two very effective exercises to manage your jealousy in this short and powerful class!

PS: Having trouble with the signup form, or just want to talk to a human being first? You can also contact Dawn at LoveOTB@gmail.com, 510-686-3386; or Kathy at anarchofeminist@yahoo.com, or (510)841-5307.

Polyamorous people who have sought therapy (whether couples, family/group, or even individual) often experience challenges in locating a therapist that understands and supports polyamory as a valid relationship option. As we discussed a couple of weeks back at the International Academic Polymory Conference 2013, there are numerous prejudices around polyamorous people and relationships, including such common misconceptions as “poly people can’t commit,” “polyamory is just another word for cheating,” or “polyamory is bad for the children.”

There’s also a good written resource for individuals and poly groupings to take to their therapist, to help to educate them on the topic. Normally one could find it on the NCSF site, but they’ve recently reorganized, and the link seems to be temporarily broken. But I found a pdf of the document, called “What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory,” at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology.

Also, for those who’d like to contribute to the body of knowledge about what therapists and counselors should know about polyamory (and thereby help future people who are seeking these resources), there’s a recently announced survey from researchers Mitchell and Barger at Edgewood College:

We are graduate students at Edgewood College in the Marriage and Family Therapy program. In an effort to support mental health practitioners in offering culturally competent care, we are conducting a survey to gather information about the experiences and attitudes of polyamorous people, age 18 and over, about therapists and therapy. Would you be willing to post the enclosed link:

Polyamory Survey: What Do Therapists Need to Know? If you are 18 or older and polyamorous, please take our survey: https://edgewood.us2.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_80O1cks9tv7xjLfand help us answer that question. You will be asked questions about your personal and family history, experience you may have had in therapy, views of therapy, and the qualities you see as valuable in a therapist. This information can assist therapists and educators as we work to create and enhance culturally competent models for therapy. A reason we ask for informational on personal and familial history is because without this information, damaging myths, biases, and stereotypes can arise about polyamorous people and why polyamorous people seek therapy. We are interested in presenting a realistic view of polyamorous people and supporting polyamorous people who seek therapy in getting the best quality care. Thank you! https://edgewood.us2.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_80O1cks9tv7xjLf

This project has been reviewed and endorsed by a community advisory board of the Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities, a community-based research support organization which includes members of alternative sexualities communities. This project has scientific merit, follows ethical guidelines for research, and avoids community harm in its design and methods. For more information, please contact https://carasresearch.org.

Please note that there have been some issues reported on p. 3 & 4 of the survey. They were supposedly addressed, but last I heard, there were still problems, so just be aware.

Thanks to those of you who choose to participate in the survey, and good luck to all who seek counseling/therapy. And always remember:

No matter who and how many you love, no matter their gender, their body shape or size, their race or the color of their skin, their political affiliation, their talents and abilities, their spiritual or religious leanings, their education…

In her self-love kit, she challenges each of us to choose a branch of the self-love tree, and focus on that for the next year. They’re all good categories, so it’s hard to choose!

Self Acceptance

Self Care

Self Compassion & Forgiveness

Self Empowerment

Self Esteem

Self Expression

Self Honor & Self Respect

Self Pleasure

Self Trust

Self Worth

Self-Awareness & Self Honesty

For me personally, I’m constantly in need of extra work on Self-Compassion and Self-Forgiveness (I’m going to commit to forgiving myself for needing to work on forgiving myself more! *chuckle*.) And she’s spot on when she lists “self-worth” as the root of the whole tree.

In terms of the title of this post, however, I’m going to go out on a limb (ha ha!) and say that for the purposes of loving yourself as part of loving more (whether that’s through polyamory or any other “outside the box” path), that Self-Awareness and Self-Honesty are key. If you don’t know yourself, and understand your own needs, it’s hard for you to truly understand the needs of another. And of course honesty is a crucial cornerstone of any polyamorous relationship… and honesty with others begins with honesty with yourself.

Being honest here, I’m behind in posting this message, and so many of you will not see it till tomorrow. That’s ok. (See how I forgave myself there? ;)) You can still check out her book on Amazon, download the free kit, and get a lot of good out of working on loving yourself, whether that’s today, tomorrow, or at any point during the year. And tomorrow, you can share it all with those you love… whether that’s one other, many others … or just you. After all, don’t you deserve to give yourself a Valentine’s Day gift, too? 😉

With much LOVE to all,

~♥ Dawn

PS: It’s still not too late to take advantage of my Valentine’s coaching specials! I’m happy to help you in whatever way you need, in your path to loving more, whether that’s through guided visualizations to support your self-love, or by helping you craft personalized Agreements with others. Let me know how I can help YOU create your own best life and loves!

Hey everyone! I’m in Memphis, visiting my family. Mostly we’ve done ok so far, despite some of the usual communication challenges. After all, they say your family knows just how to push your buttons… because they installed them!! If you’re having something like that experience as well, you might want to check out this free Relationship10x video from Reid Mihalko [TOMORROW December 27th at 8:30pm EST/5:30Pacific]. He’s got some great tips for better relationships, including not only your romantic relationships, but also the ones with your family. You can read lots more about the webinar below!

Don’t forget, too, that I’m still running some specials on my own 1:1 coaching. Call (510-686-3386) or email me to take advantage of my coaching package deal ($100 off of 4 hours of individual coaching), before I raise my rates on January 1st. Not sure? Drop me a line and we’ll set up a time to do a free 30 minute consultation. In that thirty minutes, I’ll help you get clear on your next steps, as well as to send you my Jealousy Judo handout, just for spending the time with me. Whether you end up working with me, taking advantage of Reid’s snazzy new program, or something else, I’m committed to you getting what you need to create your own best life and relationships!

Hope your holidays are filled with all the love you want and need (and your relatives aren’t driving you TOO crazy! ;^)

~♥ Dawn

PS: I’m an affiliate of Reid’s, so if you choose to purchase something from him, I’ll get a percentage. I never recommend anything I don’t think is truly worth your time and money, however, and Reid (and this program) is certainly no exception. I wish I’d known some of his information YEARS ago! Check it out!

∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥ ∞ ♥

How To Smoothly Relieve Conflict, Add Ease, and Invite Fun in Your Relationships While Juggling a Busy Life, Job, and Family
with Reid Mihalko of Relationship10xDecember 27th at 8:30pm EST

Is your relationship out of tune? Are you feeling all the bumps and dips this holiday season?

Want to “pull over” and fix it, but you just can’t find the time?

It’s amazing how small changes in the right places can make the ride SO much nicer! If you could clear up that background buzz on the radio, restock the wiper fluid, and get the heater working in your car, the trip could go from annoying and wearing to enjoyable and relaxing! But when you’re juggling a busy life, it’s next to impossible to find the time, so you grin and bare it till the car breaks down and you HAVE TO.

The same is true for relationships. You may be out of alignment. Some old issues might be creating a lot of resentment and background noise, you may not be seeing everything clearly, and it may be getting pretty frosty… even downright frigid in the bedroom, but we grin and bare it with the best of intentions… Until it all explodes. And then it’s often too late to salvage anything and we scap the entire thing!

It doesn’t have to be that way. Ask yourself, Isn’t it time for a Relationship Tune-Up?

Why not exit 2012 and pull into 2013 with a smoother “relationship ride”…

If you’d like to learn how to warm things up and create more ease and laughter in your relationships, join Reid Mihalko, founder of Relationship10x, for an hour of easy to impliment and practical upgrades. You’ll love Reid’s humor and down-to-earth approach as he shares unexpected and powerful approaches that really work.

The best part is, the tools he teaches take very little time to use. In fact, you’ll find your life moving along with lots less friction and wear-and-tear!

On the call, Reid will cover:
– Three things you can do to lessen conflict in your day to day relationships (A.K.A. – What to do to get your partner to stop yelling at you!)
– Two common mistakes people make in their relationships that’s making them unnecessarily difficult.
– Why long term relationships are so difficult to keep “alive,” and the #1 thing you can do to reignite the feelings of passion, romance and FUN again!

PLUS: The difference between “erotic turn-on” and “sensual turn-on,” and how knowing the difference between the two can improve your bedroom experiences for all parties involved 10x!

If you’re tired of struggling along, feeling frustrated and lonely, spend an hour with Reid and discover the wonder of deep connection and authentic conversation. You deserve it. Your family deserves it. Give yourself this gift this holiday season and rediscover magic and delight in your relationships again.

Links: Sex

Who is Dawn Davidson?

“I’m speaking up for those who feel lost and alone, and who’ve been rejected by others for core pieces of their being, whether that’s paganism, poly, their bodies, kink, or whatever. I’m here to say “you are not alone,” and “you are fine, just the way you are,” and hand you some tools and roadmaps.”

What do YOU need to be heard about?

LoveOTB@gmail.com or 510-686-3386.

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