Ben Page in his room in an apartment at Shepherds College, a school for students with intellectual disabilities. Students gain skill and responsibilities as they transition from dorm to home then apartment living. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Eighteen years ago, Brian and Natalie Page sat at a conference table with teachers, therapists and administrators. It was an Individualized Educational Plan meeting for their 4-year-old son, Ben.

Ben's intellectual disability, caused by a birth injury, meant that intensive therapy and special education were necessary for him to meet his potential.

As Brian tells it, this meeting was a revelation for his family and for the people tasked with educating Ben.

"Everyone was telling us what Benjamin still couldn't do," Brian remembered. "He still has trouble saying these sounds. He still puts his foot over the line when he throws the ball. And just on and on around the table."

Brian and Natalie felt discouraged and frustrated as the therapists and teachers listed Ben's perceived failures.

"Finally, after they were done, I spoke up, and asked if we could go around the table again, this time talking about all the things Benjamin CAN do. Because he'd come so far," Brian said.

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Ben Page has developed his independence and learned life and job skills at Shepherds College in Union Grove, a post-secondary program for students with intellectual disabilities.
C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Today Ben, 22 years old, has exceeded everyone's expectations, including those of his parents. He can do his own laundry. He can cook for himself. He can hold down a job. And he's four months away from graduating from Shepherds College in Union Grove, an accredited post-secondary school for people with intellectual disabilities that is positioning Ben and other young people for the future.

'Everything Benjamin can do is amazing'

When Ben was born, a ventricle in his brain ruptured. He had surgery to place a shunt which worked as a replacement ventricle.

The ruptured ventricle resulted in hydrocephalus, when excess fluid puts pressure on the brain. The shunt decreases that pressure, but Ben has needed multiple surgeries over his life to replace it. His condition resulted in an intellectual disability.

"In the past, Benjamin would have been considered mentally retarded," Natalie said. "But, today, he's described as having cognitive delays."

The doctors warned the Pages not to expect too much from Ben's development. But Ben did start to achieve typical baby milestones — just later than Ben's older brother Harold had, and later than Ben's younger sister Autumn Grace would.

Brian and Natalie started to view Ben's progress through the lens of his own abilities, rather than what other children his age could do.

"We were told Benjamin would probably never sit up, walk or talk. We were told he would have no productive life whatsoever," Brian said. "So, to see where he is now, in our minds, everything Benjamin can do is amazing."

Ben Page talks about learning and living at Shepherds College, a school for students with intellectual disabilities, in Union Grove.(Photo11: C.T. Kruger/Now News Group)

That's become the philosophy of the Page family — celebrating the things Ben can — even those things that don't seem like a big deal to parents with neurotypical children.

Things like riding the bus to school. "People talk about the short bus and use it as a derogatory term," Brian said. "But, when Benjamin got on the 'short bus' to go to school for the first time, it was one of the biggest celebrations of our lives because we never thought he would walk."

Or, when Ben participated in the Special Olympics for the first time and the Pages discovered — in an unconventional way — that their son was a natural athlete.

"Benjamin didn't know there would be a gunshot to signal the start of the race," Brian said. So when the shot went off and the other runners started racing, Ben froze and put his hands over his ears.

"We all called to him to start running, and he finally took off," Brian said. "Everyone was way ahead of him, but he caught up. And then he passed them. And then he won the race!"

Ben Page works at his internship in the technology area while attending Shepherds College, a school for students with intellectual disabilities, in Union Grove.(Photo11: C.T. Kruger/Now News Group)

The Page family started crying, remembering the doctors' initial prognosis that Ben would never walk, let alone run.

But, what happened immediately after Ben won the race serves as a reminder of the limits imposed by his disability. "We were so emotional about him winning the race," Brian said. "But then, someone said to me, 'Mr. Page, you have to get Ben.'"

Because Ben was still running, not having understood that the race was over. "I got his attention and said, 'Benjamin, you can stop running. You already won.'"

"He gets frustrated when things don't connect the way they should"

Brian and Natalie were thrilled to see their son win a race. After all, they had been told he might never walk. But, when they realized that Ben didn't understand the rules, it was a stark reminder of his cognitive disability.

The story's a good illustration of the mixed emotions that go with a disability — both for the parents and their child.

"Sometimes, especially as he gets older, we can look at him and, because he doesn't have a physical disability, think he's just like his older brother," Natalie said.

Because Ben wants to be just like his older brother, Harold, it's frustrating for him when he realizes he's different. "At Christmas, he went outside to take out the garbage, but the garbage can was full, so he didn't know what to do," Natalie said.

When he came back inside, Natalie noticed that he hadn't put a coat on, and concerned mom that she is, she questioned why he didn't have his coat since it was cold outside.

"He started crying, saying, 'oh, I forgot, and I'm so sorry.'" Natalie sees how frustrated Ben gets when he forgets things that other people naturally know how to do.

Brian Page talks about the growth of his son, Ben Page, by attending Shepherds College, a school for students with intellectual disabilities, in Union Grove.(Photo11: C.T. Kruger/Now News Group)

"He gets frustrated with what he can't do because he compares himself to us," Brian said. "In those moments, we have to remember that he needs extra time and coaching to figure things out."

"I'd really like to go to college"

In 2016, when Ben was nearly finished with the special education school in a Chicago suburb near where the Page family lives, Brian and Natalie were trying to figure out what would come next for their son.

"I think, as kids with special needs get to be adults, the thought process shifts," Natalie said. "Instead of figuring out how to make him a functional adult, we started to think of how he would be able to use his skills to be as functional as he could be."

A resource specialist at Ben's school told Natalie about Shepherds College in Union Grove, a post-secondary program for students with intellectual disabilities.

At Shepherds, students can major in culinary arts, horticulture or technology. After two years of training in their vocational choice, they spend their third year doing a field experience with related businesses, and, following graduation, secure jobs in their fields.

Volunteer Andrea Huedepuhl and Ben Page check the recipe for a customer's beverage order at Shepherds Community Cafe inside Community State Bank in Union Grove on Dec. 20.(Photo11: C.T. Kruger/Now News Group)

In addition to job training, the school also focuses on teaching students life skills, including budgeting, shopping, cooking, cleaning, interviewing and apartment hunting. This year, 79 students attend Shepherds, which is a Christian college.

Tracy Terrill, president of Shepherds, said, "Stereotypically, there are too many young people sitting in basements playing video games. They might have disabilities, but they also have strengths, and we train them in those areas so they can contribute to society. That's fulfilling for them, plus we all benefit by having them involved in our lives to a greater degree."

Although the Pages had never thought of college as an option for Ben, Brian and Natalie took him on a tour of Shepherds.

"We were amazed," Brian said. "We didn't even know there was a place like this. We asked Benjamin what he thought, and he said, 'I really like it. I'd really like to go to college like Harold.' "

At Shepherds, the students live on campus, and are given gradual degrees of independence. They live in dorms as first-year students with resident assistants to supervise and help them. Then as second-year students, they live in a house with eight roommates and a house parent. When they reach their third and final year, students live in their own apartments with just one roommate, responsible for their own shopping, cooking, cleaning and budgeting.

Ben Page in his room in an apartment at Shepherds College, a school for students with intellectual disabilities. Students gain skill and responsibilities as they transition from dorm to home then apartment living.(Photo11: C.T. Kruger/Now News Group)

At first, that degree of independence was terrifying for Natalie.

"The biggest leap of faith I ever took was when we dropped Benjamin off at Shepherds," Natalie said. "I've spent so much of my life making sure all the dots in his life are connected, so when he went to Shepherds, I had this identity crisis like, who am I when I don't fill in the dots of his life?"

It turns out Ben was thrilled to start filling in the dots of his life in college. "My favorite part about living in my apartment is that I get to cook for myself," Ben said. Then, he added with a laugh, "And my dad's not watching over me 24/7."

In fact, Brian is around more often than most parents of students at Shepherds. He was so impressed with the school that he took a job there as the senior vice president of advancement two years ago — something that at first was a little disconcerting for Ben's newly discovered independence.

"My dad told me during my brother's wedding that he was going to be working at Shepherds," said Ben. "I was kind of shocked, and I wasn't completely sold on it, but now it's fine. I'm OK with him looking in on me every once in a while. Just not all the time. Then it gets creepy," Ben said, laughing.

'Dad, I've got this'

Brian said he's careful to give Ben his space — which gives Ben the freedom to grow in his newly found skills and independence. Brian and Natalie have learned they have to let Ben practice those skills even when he's not at school.

"One day, during a vacation from school, Benjamin was home alone while Natalie and I were at work," Brian said. During a break in his day, Brian called Ben to check up on him and was surprised when Ben told him he had started a load of laundry. Ben does laundry at school, but he had never done it at home without supervision.

"I started asking him a bunch of questions, like how much detergent did you put in, what setting did you put it on, how much water is there? I was picturing that there would be soap bubbles flooding all over, that he had done it wrong," Brian said. "And he was just like, 'Dad, I've got this.' "

Ben Page is enrolled in a technology program while attending Shepherds College, a school for students with intellectual disabilities, in Union Grove.(Photo11: C.T. Kruger/Now News Group)

Brian told Ben to call him when the wash was done so he could give him instructions for the next step. When an hour went by without a call, Brian called him back.

"I asked him if the wash had stopped, and he said it had. I told him just to leave it in the washer, and I'd take care of it when I got home," Brian said. But Ben had already dried the load of laundry. "I said to him, you dried it already? Why didn't you call me? And he said, 'Dad, I told you I've got this.'"

Indeed, Ben had it under control. When Brian got home, the house wasn't flooded, the laundry was done and everything was fine.

"With Benjamin, we always feel like we have to swoop in and catch him before he hits the ground," Brian said. "But I'm learning that even if I'm not with him every second, he's going to be OK."

'Maybe we can find someone to help him make his dream come true'

Brian and Natalie have these lessons at the front of their minds as Ben nears the end of his college career and enters into the next phase of his life.

After three years in the technology program, Ben's picked up skills in typing, data entry, IT maintenance and digitization of the college's film library. "He's kind of our go-to guy for digitization," said John Andrus, the lead technology instructor at Shepherds.

Over the years, the college has built up a solid roster of businesses to place students for third-year field experiences and in jobs after graduation.

Ben Page is enrolled in a technology program while attending Shepherds College, a school for students with intellectual disabilities, in Union Grove.(Photo11: C.T. Kruger/Now News Group)

Brian has also talked to Ben about the possibility of working with companies with local presences, like Amazon, to find Ben a job after he graduates. Their positive experience at Shepherds has even opened the family's minds to encouraging Ben's interests in a career, something they didn't think was possible before.

Angela Houk, Shepherds' dean of education, said that the technology skills the students learn aren't just for jobs, but also to help them do the things they love. That's why Ben is especially happy he's learned so much about typing and spreadsheets. It helps him keep track of his prized keychain collection.

Ben Page has an extensive keychain collection. He has 977 now, and hopes to have 1,000 by the end of 2019.(Photo11: Submitted Photo)

"Six years ago, I didn't even know what a keychain was," Ben said. "Then someone showed me his keychain collection, and I thought I could do that too." Ben went full-steam ahead on his goal to collect keychains, and is up to 977 now. "I got in the newspaper when I had 600 keychains," Ben said. "When I get 1,000, my mom said she would tell the TV news. Then I'll go from newspaper to news!"

Ben uses his spreadsheet skills to categorize his keychains, and he tells anyone who's willing to listen all about his favorite pastime.

'His friends at college are like his new family'

The Pages said Ben's next step might be taking one more year at Shepherds. The college allows graduates to take a yearlong abbreviated course in a different major. A course of study in culinary arts could help Ben improve his cooking skills in preparation for his life after college.

That life is what Brian and Natalie are working with Ben to figure out now. Although they don't think Ben would be able to live alone, they hope to get him into a group home situation somewhere near Union Grove. They're even working with the parents of some of Ben's friends because the social connections he's gained at Shepherds have been so important to him.

"That community has been so powerful," Brian said. "All his friends from college want to stay together. They're like Benjamin's new family."

Natalie told Ben that a group home would be like Shepherds, except without all the homework. She laughed, relating how happy that thought made Ben. "He always makes us laugh," said Natalie. "He's not just special needs. He's just a special guy."