Hope Hicks is FUUUUUCKED

President Donald Trump’s former legal spokesman is expected to tell special counsel Robert Mueller about a previously undisclosed phone call in which White House aide Hope Hicks allegedly promised that emails from Donald Trump Jr. about a 2016 Trump Tower meeting with a Russian lawyer “will never get out,” The New York Times has reported.

The Times reported Wednesday that Mark Corallo, who resigned from his spokesman job in July, has accepted an interview request from Mueller’s team. Corallo reportedly plans to disclose that in the call, Hicks, the White House communications director, and Trump discussed the meeting that included Trump Jr., Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner, then-campaign manager Paul Manafort and a Russian lawyer who was expected to give them negative information about rival Hillary Clinton.

“Mr. Corallo planned to tell investigators that Ms. Hicks said during the call that emails written by Donald Trump Jr. before the Trump Tower meeting — in which the younger Mr. Trump said he was eager to receive political dirt about Mrs. Clinton from the Russians — “will never get out.” That left Mr. Corallo with concerns that Ms. Hicks could be contemplating obstructing justice, the people said,” the Times reported.

So essentially, the Trump boys went to Russia begging for dirt on Hillary Clinton and when they were caught because they are two of the dumbest people on Earth, Hope Hicks reassured the president that she would bury the bodies and no evidence would get out.

People who live in Russia don’t love Russia as much as the people who work for Donald Trump seem to be obsessed with that place. I too, love the FX series, The Americans, but you can’t be out here like, calling up Russia. Especially if you want them to help you win an election. Shout out to Keri Russell though.

Hope Hicks is the White House Communications Director and 29-year old former model. Some would say, that the second half of the previous sentence makes her completely unqualified for the first half of that sentence. Who’s to say. She clearly has done an amazing job communicating with Trump that emails will ‘never get out’.

I don’t blame Hope Hicks. She was doing her job, I guess. If anything, this is Donald Trump Jr doing Donald Trump Jr things. Why is Hope Hicks responsible for burying your irresponsible emails? If you’re going to commit treason, you might want to take it off Gmail, my guy. I’m not out here emailing my drug dealer. Hope Hicks wouldn’t have to hide receipts if Trump Jr didn’t save all of his.

Obstruction of justice is not a good look for my girl, Hope. I’m sure she’ll simply lie and say that this never happened because there are no consequences to perjury anymore. All you have to do is say you don’t ‘recall’ and then you go back to work the next day like you weren’t just probed by the FBI.

I’ll write to you in prison, Hope. Don’t worry. I’m here for you if you need me. Call me. Text me. I got you.

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’d visit Hope Hicks in prison every day. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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