A dolphin walks in to a sushi restaurant and says to the chef: "Hey, you killed my father."

"That's my business, fish," the chef replies.

The dolphin contemplates this for a moment and says: "Then I challenge you to a game of chess. If I win, you stop being a chef forever."

"And if I win?" asks the chef.

"You can feed me to your customers," the dolphin replies. So the chef and the dolphin play chess. Dolphins love to play chess, so in a few moves the chef was checkmated. "Well, looks like I win," says the dolphin. The chef nods as he plunges his knife into the fish's belly. "But I won!" Cries the dolphin, as he feels the knife wriggling in his guts.

"So did your father," says the chef.

/ why was the tagged as satire, I thought the beggar dolphin story was real (i read it on fark a while ago)? dnrtfa closely... but who kills a dolphin with a screwdriver?

So he lived to 20, which is usual life expectancy for dolphins, but it was definitely the interaction with people that killed him. OK. Sure thing Dr. Debbie Downer. They article didn't mention that he was a loner dolphin that didn't have a pod. So his interaction with people was probably the only social interaction he had with other mammals. The little guy was probably as happy as he was going to be.