Friday, June 14, 2013

BSNYC Friday Un-Quiz!

Here in the United States, when it comes to simple everyday life, we have a fortification mentality. Need to get around? Do the "safe" thing and drive the biggest gas-guzzling fortress you can. Want to protect your family from crime? Do the "responsible" thing and get a gun. Want to engage in some esoteric physical activity like riding a bicycle? Better not get within 20 feet of the thing without wearing your foam safety hat.

No, doing something completely unremarkable like this in America calls for public shaming:

"The man riding a Citi Bike near Christopher Street obviously thought it was OK to take off with a young girl on the handlebars."

So wait, did he just nab a random kid off the street and take off with her on the handlebars? If so then maybe they've got a story. Otherwise, you know what? It is OK. Or at least it should be. Sure, technically it's not legal, but so what? (Oddly though, what is 100% legal is putting a child of any age in a taxi or car service without a child seat, which is about a million times more dangerous than this.) You know what else isn't technically legal? Driving your SUV onto the sidewalk and running down a kid in a stroller. But you can't get in trouble for that, because there's no "moral blameworthiness." You are, however, guilty of "moral blameworthiness" in this city and in this country the second you straddle a bike. And you can forget about using it to transport a kid.

I can't blame him for not passing up an amusing Citi Bike-related photo-op. I can't even blame him for Tweeting it. However, once your picture of a young girl goes viral and you start mouthing off about it on the local news you're officially an asshole. Here's what he had to say about the act of raising a kid a few feet above the pavement and transporting her along Christopher Street by means of a slow-moving bicycle:

"That probably takes the cake for the worst decision of the week."

No, I think the worst decision of the week was taking a picture of a little girl and then standing there with a shit-eating grin on your face while the local news used it to fan the flames of anti-bike hysteria.

By the way, that SUV driver who ran over the kid in the stroller? That happend a week ago too, and I'd say that was a pretty shitty decision on the part of the driver--but not as bad as this, the worst decision of the week according to Frank Hendler, the Village Asshole.

I'm also going to guess Frank doesn't have any kids, since those are usually the people who are first to tell parents what they're doing wrong. He does, however, have a hairy weiner dog:

Walking a designer dog in the rain without a little doggie raincoat?!? That probably takes the cake for the worst decision of the week.

In any event, I'm going to let you go without a quiz this Friday, and I give you permission to knock off work immediately and go for a bike ride. Enjoy your weekend, ride safe, and if you let your child ride in the shopping cart, for Lob'ss sake make sure they wear a helment!!!

100% correct. The big mouths that have no kids and the bigger mouths have the worst behaved kids have no problem telling you what you are doing wrong. If everyone minded their own fucking business and took care of themselves and their families this world would be a much better place.

As my wife would say, "I think you need to go for a ride, a long ride".

What the fuck, this shit's so early I can't even make the scrotio. I need to start doping etc. You've changed Wildcat, all getting up early with the birds, swaddling the young'uns, standing on the veranda sipping java while the servants prepare breakfast. I miss when this blog was REAL and had a snarky edge of edgy snarkiness, etc.

Had sex with a 10-year-old last night. OHHH YEAH BABY. Broke the "your age divided by 4" rule as well as the "generally adhere to written statutes of your state of residence" rule, but I'm feeling great about it!

yes, she won't just fall out because there is a "back" to that "basket" and yes, lets assume her kidnapper, er, molester, er, uncle, er father is riding slowly and cautiously and yes this really is no big deal and yes it is overall ok and no no no it should not be sensationalized into ant-bike stupidity.....

but....given the "hyper aware" state that some of us (and me too when my daughter was young enough to be in the bike seat i used to carry her in) have when we "port" our kids, would we "experienced" cyclists do the same thing? I don't think I would - so on some level this isn't 100% ok.....is it?

Bike-to-work day in Chicago. I've eaten my free banana and free bagel, I saw the mayor and Ray LaHood on the dais, I saw the first Divvy bike-share stand and a bunch of the blue Divvy bikes, and now I'm wondering if I'd put a child on the front of one and ride around. No. On my own bike? Maybe, I'm more used to it. Even though the Divvy is slower, heavier and has a basket. But worst decision of the week? I'm with Daddo, it's not 100% OK but it's not newsworthy either.

arise ssesseDe? When capcha speaks parseltongue, it can only mean trouble

Oh good grief, my Dad took me for a ride on the handlebars of a bike when I was a little girl. Big deal. I think a bigger worry is when you let your 10 year push a running lawnmower around the yard when he/she isn't taller than the handle. Oh, thats right, you city folk do not have lawns.

I am totally pro helmet. I really don't like smoking. And I love the idea of Rollie getting fluoride in his water......

But really, public nags of this sort are not useful. They just build the walls of self righteous smugness higher than the Great Wall and just push the side further apart.

Note: Wanna be a good citizen? Maybe chat with the guy for a few minutes and suggest a helment lightly and maybe influence his thinking just a little. Oh, but wait, that would require human interaction....

Wednesday we were on a boat ride and the outdrive started making what we call a "racket."

So I thought, hmmmmmmmmmm, I will just "ease" 15 miles back to the dock.

So, anyway yeah, I am presently having the outdrive rebuilt. We flagged down some lesbians that towed us the last ten miles but I should have shut her down first thing. Not the lesbians, the boat. Bad decision Top Ten.

Snob, thanks for the feel-smug story of the week. It's important to get all wound up about these little things to distract us from the real problems. There's nothing that can't be solved by buying shit. Heck, even minimalism is endorsed by corporate America, because sooner or later, your going to miss your stuff and you'll have to repurchase things you already would have had if you hadn't got rid of it all. I'm sure Babs post covers that, but my attention span is

And what about all those people who never leave their apartments or do anything even slightly physically active but lay the disingenuous maternalistic concern on those of us who are. Ski? Oh, that's dangerous. I hope you're careful. Spend any time in the sunshine? Oh, that's dangerous. You're wearing a hat and using sunscreen, right? Ride a bike? Oh, that's dangerous, you wear a helmet, don't you? Run? Oh, that's dangerous. You should be careful about your knees. Golf? Oh, golf courses are terrible for the environment.

PaulbAnd commenting on bike blogs? We're setting our knuckles up for early-onset arthritis with all that typing. It's dangerous, you know. Not as dangerous as writing bike blogs, but I think I'll take a couple of aspirin anyway.

Snob missed NYT article about the Best Made Co. that sells Best Axe & more junk too, how could he? For hundreds of dollars they'll sell you clothing that makes you fit right in in Brooklyn. It's the best!

"...most of the clothing is suitable for late fall and early winter. The heavy waxed cruiser, the color of the Mojave ($590), felt as heavy as the fresh kill of a long hunt. The lighter one, in suave navy ($348), was more feasible, and had a pocket inside the jacket’s rear to actually carry the fresh kill of a long hunt." Big enough to hold a subway rat?

I wish I only hated drivers. One of these days, I'm going to clothesline a salmon and become a hated internet person. That is if I don't get arrested for running over an idiot walking in the bike lane.

Just to be clear, according to the website, all bikeshare users are entitled to snatch little girls from the sidewalk and keep them for a half hour; only annual members get 45 minutes before the surcharge kicks in.

c)When your father in law goes outside on the deck to have a smoke and you snag one from the cabinet because you are going to pleasure his daughter that evening because the kids are going to YOUTH CHURCH.

There was similar furor in DC in the first year of BikeShare when a guy was photographed with his infant in a snuggly strapped to him while riding bikeshare. I don't think it's a good idea to do this, and I cringe at thinking of the kid sitting in the unpadded basket and hitting a pothole, but it's not newsworthy. A friend of mine actually figured out a legal child portaging rig for BikeShare, He found a front riding bike seat that mounts to the seatpost with a quick-release, and then the footpegs mount on the downtube. He could carry the whole rig in a backpack, and attach it to the bike in about 30 seconds. I wish I remembered the brand, but it was pretty slick. So long as his kid had a helmet, the whole package was legal. He used it to take his son to daycare, then would pedal into work.

I think you have every right to be grumpy given the retarded media response to the Citibike program and the musings of the host of other idiots who have crawled out of the woodwork.

On a more positive note, I just read (or more importantly bought and read)your latest book and thought you nailed it perfectly. I ride my WorkCycles around NYC with my kid on the back and it's one of the best feelings there is.

I'm sorry I'm an immature dumbass. I don't know how to handle myself sometimes, and it is easier to do nothing.I am attracted to you, and enjoyed our day together. But I feel guilty because you are too young for me.---------------Well I appreciate you being forward about it.All the same, I am disappointed because I am genuinely interested in you. Our age difference isn't an issue for me but if it bothers you then I guess I can't do much about that.If you have a change of heart, let me know.--------------------ok. http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=572102There is a lot of salient truth in this ^^^^

Essentially we are at different places in life.

There is one side of me that wants to see you and do all sorts of dirty things to you, make you understand how sexy you are.But, ultimately I don't think it would be healthy for you or me.-------------------------I wish you hadn't tried to explain, it just makes me want to convince you otherwise.___________________________GIRLS ARE STUPID, I AM AN ASSHOLE

An adult bicyclist has five points of contact with the machine (in multiple planes), is looking in the direction of travel and can anticipate/control acceleration/deceleration. A little kid on the handle bars does not have these advantages. Just sayin'...

A. Both are life's simple pleasures.B. Folks who do neither always seem to want to make rules for folks who do either.C. Neither can be improved with coal powered machinery.D. There's always the risk you'll wind up on the ground flailing your legs ridiculously.

2. Sex and podium appearances are similar in that

A. You might get kissed.B. You might get flowers.C. Someone really should tell Chamois Juice that upon achieving either, one really should comport oneself as if one had been there before.D. Some folks tend to exaggerate their experience.

3. My dog assures me that the phrase "clothing optional" in the title of the ride he registered us for only means we don't have to wear team kits because the event isn't sanctioned by the UCI. I should trust him because

A. He seems so sincere.B. What could possibly go wrong?C. This won't be like the time he and his buddies lost me in the first 10 miles of a "no drop" ride and he later explained that "no drop" meant they weren't ingesting LSD.D. My dog explained that only someone with serious trust issues could doubt the word of his own dog.

Thanks, Leroy!Great quiz, as usual.Had a great Fathers Day in Iowa City. We went to a wedding, but it was Gay Pride weekend and was celebrated by about 50 people. They were brightly dressed and energetic.Iowa: 75% vowels, 100% awesome!

Fun quiz. Me and hunny bunny had the boat to ourselves yesterday evening after a nice LBL MTB ride. I took her tubing. The kind you do with the boat turned off in a nice quiet cove. She did not even fall off once. HAPPY FADDERS DAY ALL!

Great quiz Leroy. Discuss. Sounds like someone's dog spent the night out with the boys, woke up with a bad attitude, and needs to hold a bar of Lifebouy in his mouth. Or just give him a hundred bucks and thank him for expressing himself. You know, the Snob parenting model.

>Never mind that nowhere else on the planet would this be considered a big deal.

You've got to get out more often. In Australia it would be the criminal offences of riding a bicycle without a foam hat and child endangerment. It would make front page news and TV. A huge amount of airtime would be devoted to how terrible the situation was. The parent would face serious jail time and the child would be removed from their family. And any supporters of the parent would be howled down in a wave of indignant protest.

Jeez, I'm sick to death of people telling me that kids have to wear helmets, or stay off the street or not play bull-rush. Guess what people? Life is fatal. For everyone. The joy of just hopping on a bike and going for a ride without thinking about clothing (I might not do the naked bike ride though. maybe with alcohol. Oh no riding a bike after consuming alcohol. I could fall off. Damn gravity.) is something to be cherished. Most people on bikes are hurt or killed by one thing - contact with cars. Not gravity. Not by falling off the bike. Cars. I think I'll go and watch one of those Dutch videos with people, like, doubling, with no helmets. They've probably been drinking too. Those lucky smug Dutch.

My friend had his right arm in a shoulder sling until today. He said it's feeling better but still stiff. The road rash is heeling. Our faith in humanity took a punch to the gut with this incident. Hit and run seems to be the rule nowadays instead of the shocking exception, but witnessing it firsthand when the victim is someone close to you still has a great deal of shock value.

May the Ass Monkeys Attack that Lexus Douchebag.

May your dog return your $10 dollars, although watch out, it may be Monopoly money with the little houses on the bills. It also means your dog is raiding the game shelf in your hall closet. Lob Help You if he finds your Scrabble set.

Thanks for a great read. I thought you might enjoy another blogger's take on safety and bicycles: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/06/13/bicycling-the-safest-form-of-transportation/comment-page-2/#comment-521747

Pro Cycling is so interesting they gave managing it a video game. I mean, the single-player gameplay is alright, but co-op blood transfusing is just way more dynamic. Plus the graphics!! http://store.steampowered.com/app/219800/

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!