“Do you think you possess special abilities?” she asked with a challenging, wicked smile.

She knew I would say No, as saying Yes, would have been a statement of insanity… And indeed, only two categories of people might admit to have special abilities, the crazy ones and the great masters, the first asserting self-importance and the latter uttering truth.

But my counselor, a young woman with great emphatic abilities and a pure willingness to help, has surrendered her “seeing” to the indoctrination of a system enforcing a generic prescription of what it should be, to anyone, in the process of feeding a corrupted medical system.

My answer to the above question, however, it was NO. I do not have special abilities. I have what every being was endowed with, at the start of the game; telepathy, empathy, the gift at times terrifying, to be other people.

It is not a special gift, it was something everybody had before they decided, through “experience”, it was too painful to feel the emotions of someone they kill for food or pleasure, or the desperation of the beings they betrayed and any other un-pleasant emotion they caused to another human or living being.

It took a while, life after life (game after game) to shut off those cells in the brain which were made to detect other living beings impulses-emotions-thoughts.

It took a lot of suffering, deception, losses and lies to oneself and to others to make what we have now; a soul identified with a “hologram”, a weak, coward being which believes the only safe way to exists is to assert his independence from others.

It is not a normal condition to be “blind” or “deaf”.

A population infested with a plague does not make that condition of sickness a normality. Do you follow me?

But it requires courage to ‘listen’, to ‘see’, to ‘feel’ especially at this stage of the game, where the majority of people hurt each other in the name of freedom, love and justice. They ‘torture’ one another (physically and/or psychologically) to get pleasure… to feel powerful and safe. Killing as a sport, deceiving and lying as a justified method of advancing in the society. This is what blind people do.

This is where we are.

I have been suffering of severe depression for years… this is what the society categorizes the result of seeing, feeling, and hearing the pain and agony of others. Their tried to numb my perceptions, to convince me it is better to shut it off.

Only by being blind you can avoid seen the slaughter, the abuses and be happy.

Only if you do not know how many beings you are hurting when you selfishly waste, steal, betray or lie to another…

And $cientology today, the way is delivered, is another of the very many numbing practices… which built the ego while promising success for the single being.

The weak, the coward and the un-aware seek power for him/herself and the few he/she think are aiding his survival…

where the strong knows true power and wisdom is the very enemy of the ‘I’ the ‘self’ and that synthetic happiness that can only been achieved by numbing ones knowingness and perceptions.

One morning I woke up and felt I was in the wrong movie.

.♣.

. “You came back from your other dimension and you find yourself sitting next to a distant man…, in a sad environment where you are made guilty to love your son and to cherish the presence of you cat. What am I doing here?

.

“You came back from your other dimension opened your eyes to find yourself sitting next to a angry man,

you are a stranger to him. The beautiful initial spiritual connection is gone.

He still calling you honey and telling you he loves you.

But there is no truth in that, it is just a routine.

All this makes it a sad environment, you are made guilty to love your son and to cherish the presence of you cat.

What am I doing here?

You feel like you are in the wrong movie.

You well know that there is no ‘right movie’,

but even in the illusion, in your identification with the play,

you have the choice to choose the illusion you like. May be.

At least that is what I thought at that time.

.

Things have changed today.

I know it does not really matter.

Once you look at life from a non-ordinary reality, all you see is a code and different wavelenghts interwaving eachother.

All loses the branding of good or bad, its significance, all is the same.

They are, these type of illusions, the same type of prisons.

.

Have I grown from all this pain?

Have I became stronger and increased my awareness?

I like to think so.

Is my life happier?

No, not based on the human definition of happiness:

“Feeling so blessed you do not remember anymore who you are and where you come from. “

I’m training myself to see, and the prison is always present… at least more and more.

.

P.D. Ouspensky ‘The fourth Way’ chapter 6 …. ” We escape from the tentacles of mechanichalness and break its force by big suffering. If we try to avoid suffering, if we are afraid of it, if we try to persuade ourselves that nothing bad really happened, that, after all, it is unimportant and that things can go on just as they were going before, not only shall we never escape, but we shall become more and more mechanical, and shall very soon come to a state when there will be no possibility for us and no chance.”

…

Does it feel good?

Knowing the truth it is the best thing I can ever ask.

It is extremely painful at times, but I would never exchange my pain and suffering

for a nice night of sleep. I want to know.

…

As difficult at it is at times,

I know that one day I will be on the other side of the prison and all this will be worth it.

…

I have achieved some ‘seeing’

I know by now that when you achieve this power

it is a great liability not to own up to it.

It can be the worst curse ever.

…

You cannot play human any longer.

You have to stop.

.

…

.

You have to let go of your identity/ies and all the illusion of it.

Otherwise the worse sadness will be a joy compare to what will happen to you.

…

But I’m blessed and ready to more.

…

My pain keeps me on the road of self-remembering

and continuously working on seeing.

..

Do not expect to be joyful when the beautiful trees, the huge house you own or your ‘president of the company office’

THE BENCH ON THE RIVER

He felt blessed, he made plans of traveling the world, to meet people, to try different kinds of food and play any type of game.

All his problems seemed solved now that he had such wealth. He went rejoicing, partying and dancing all night.

On his way back while walking down the street, his foot tripped on a tiny little stone. A shiver of fear went up his spine and ran through his entire body.

The night turned really dark and the happy sounds were now whispering of warnings.

A strange feeling of unhappiness took over and he started to ponder on how things could go wrong if people knew of his wealth. He started to be suspicious of every smile, to the lady saying ‘hallo’, to the kid running by him and to the man who politely opened his door to let him in first.

…

That night he couldn’t sleep, and once up in the morning on his way to work… he started to envy the people who peacefully walked by enjoying their normal, daily life. He started to miss his old routine.

The thought of the danger connected to his money started to corrode his soul. He never cashed the ticket as he was afraid somebody would haunt him for the money.

One day immersed in his worries, the man saw a big scary man approaching him with a gun. He knew he wanted his ticket and in fear of his life he instinctively tossed it in the nearby river.

The little old lady who was handing him his wallet warned him against trashing the river and advised him to tuck his wallet in a place in his jacket where would not fall out again.

Days went by, and the man many times repeated to himself that it was all for the best, and for a while succeeded into believing it was true. However something remained from such lost wealth, the first few moments of joy. The happiness of the future he dreamed at that time. And his dreams were the only reality he had left.

One day, many days later, pondering by the river a young man sat just next to him, “Fear is our hidden weakness. Fear could be disguised as any beautiful and rational reason which will prevent you from reaching any real wealth. It makes a dark night darker and a beautiful sunshine too bright. While it hugs you as your best friends-, said the young man by putting his arm around his shoulder, -it actually takes away from you the possibility to achieve any of your purer dreams.” Said so, the young man left. While looking at him walking away; he noticed his lottery ticket in his hand. His whole life went through his mind in an instant leaving him with a feeling of extreme weakness. For the first time he started to cry.

“No, you did not lose your wallet this time,”- said the same old lady he met years and years ago, -“You have learned how to keep it safe, haven’t you?” she said with a wicked smile. -“I’m here to return your ticket Jimmy, because I know now you can make a good use of it.

You have met your fears and you now know your weaknesses.

You are ready to walk with them, but not to let them guide you”.

.

.

Jimmy felt her warm hand on his arm, but by the time he turned his head to look at her, she was gone.

…….

…..

This story is to whom might have faced few battlefields at war, but is running away to the most important one: the battlefield of life.

Wish you one day to gather enough courage to start to walk again by the river and enough inner peace to sit on the bench.

Who knows, the old lady might come by and give you back your lottery ticket.

♣♣♣

Krishnamurti, The Book of Life

.

…

Is it a religious life to punish oneself? Is mortification of the body or of the mind a sign of understanding?

Is self-torture a way to reality? Is chastity denial?

Do you think you can go far through renunciation?

Do you really think there can be peace through conflict? Does not the means matter infinitely more than the end?

The end may be, but the means is.

The actual, the what is, must be understood and not smothered by determinations, ideals, and clever rationalizations.

Sorrow is not the way of happiness.

The thing called passion has to be understood and not suppressed or sublimated, and it is no good finding a substitute for it.

Whatever you may do, any device that you invent, will only strengthen that which has not been loved and understood.

To love what we call passion is to understand it.

To love is to be in direct communion; and you cannot love something if you resent it, if you have ideas, conclusions about it. How can you love and understand passion if you have taken a vow against it?

A vow is a form of resistance, and what you resist ultimately conquers you.

Truth is not to be conquered; you cannot storm it; it will slip through your hands if you try to grasp it.

Yet, because the thousands of identifications and agreements in many layer and forms

I’m stuck into playing.

…

Sometimes I find excuses to why it is right to be here,

when indeed I do not give a damn.

…

Since my divorce, I have been blessed with wonderful friends,

more than friends I would say,

since many of them are walking the path, they are cohorts.

…

‘Cohorts’Mix media by Silvia KusadaApril 24th, 2013

…

And today Steven was here. I find peace when he is around,

he is struggling too with the ‘game’

but since his search and intent are pure

his energy is outgoing and heals whoever is around him.

…

He thought me a good lesson today.

..

Him and Rick both reminded me of how much I still identified

with the ‘play’.

…

They both gave me a gift.

…

I’m surrounded by love.

and the beauty of this is the knowingness that

spiritual connections are the only thing to never end,

as they are timeless.

And that, together with my path are the only things

which have true value to me and are worth my time.

..

…

♣♣♣

OUSPENSKY from THE FOURTH WAY ‘Negative emotions’ Chapter 1

Q. Could we hear more about right attitude as a weapon against negative emotions? It must mean more than just not identifying?

A. Certainly, it means more; it means right thinking on a definite subject.

For instance, almost all our personal negative emotions are based on accusation; somebody else is guilty.

If, by persistent thinking, we realize that nobody can be guilty against us, that we are the cause of all that happens to us, that changes things, not at once certainly, because many times this realization will come too late.

But after some time this right thinking, this creating of right attitude or point of view can become a permanent process; then negative emotions will only appear occasionally.

Exactly by being permanent this process of right thinking has power over negative emotions—it catches them in the beginning.

OUSPENSKY from THE FOURTH WAY ‘Negative emotions’ Chapter 1

…

A. The fact that you begin to think rightly will not change anything straight away. It is necessary to think rightly for a long time; then results will come—but not at once. It is a question of months or years to create right attitudes. By creating right attitudes you consolidate the fact that you have really and seriously decided not to give way to negative manifestations. We do not realize how much we lose in this way. We lose exactly what we want to get. But first of all you must stop the habit of expressing negative emotions. This is why, in the very first lectures, when you hear about self-observation,

OUSPENSKY from THE FOURTH WAY ‘Negative emotions’ Chapter 1

You can stop the manifestations of negative emotions. If you say ‘I don’t want to’, I will believe you,

but not if you say ‘

I cannot’.

…

I have given you many suggestions about work on emotions, such as study, struggle with identification, struggle with the expression of negative emotions, right thinking about negative emotions. Four practices. If you really use all that is given, very soon you will see quite perceptible results. Real control of emotional centre needs self­ remembering, a new state of consciousness, …

This is one of these universes where you are required to use your mind…

…

If you dare to disobey, you are going to be proved wrong

for having acted by knowingness.

Note: you are not wrong, you are just going to be made wrong.

This program is going to make sure you know acting by knowingness

is not only an-unsafe and un-trustworthy activity, but it is dangerous.

…

Along the line, after you have learned to not identify with the program,

that program been your thoughts and mind(s),

you will realize the best way to make things happen is not by action

but by working with the wavelengths and energy flows.

of course at a much higher level, we have ‘operating by intent’,

..

Now, to fully realize that, doesn’t mean you are going to operate that way,

you still long ways from being able to live and act by knowingness.

To realize that only means you got an idea of a better

and much saner way to operate

and now you have to get used to use it.

.

…

…

You have to deal with all the anti-viruses,

the programs created to stop you from doing it.

Your thoughts, your mind, your synthetic personalities,

any personality.

Your friends and the people very close to you, the ones that seem to care the most,

are your greatest barriers unless they are at your level

and had the same cognition and realization about operating

by shifting energy and higher, by knowingness.

…

It is interesting, actually, to watch how the very people you are helping,

on a similar path of yours even if not at the same level of awareness,

are going to turn against you.

…

They cannot understand, and they challenge you to prove to them

you can actually make things going the ‘right way’,

not for you but for them.

They expect you, as you are their friend, to solve their problems.

They are going to be jealous if things for you go well,

if they go smoothly and just happen as for magic.

.

…The Disorder That Time Creates… By J. Krishnamurti —— “Time means moving from what is to “what should be.” I am afraid, but one day I shall be free of fear; therefore, time is necessary to be free of fear, at least, that is what we think. To change from what is to “what should be” involves time. Now, time implies effort in that interval between what is and “what should be.” I don’t like fear, and I am going to make an effort to understand, to analyze, to dissect it, or I am going to discover the cause of it, or I am going to escape totally from it. All this implies effort and effort is what we are used to. We are always in conflict between what is and “what should be.” The “what I should be” is an idea, and the idea is fictitious, it is not “what I am,”which is the fact; and the “what I am” can be changed only when I understand the disorder that time creates. So, is it possible for me to be rid of fear totally, completely, on the instant? If I allow fear to continue, I will create disorder all the time; therefore, one sees that time is an element of disorder, not a means to be ultimately free of fear. So there is no gradual process of getting rid of fear, just as there is no gradual process of getting rid of the poison of nationalism. If you have nationalism and you say that eventually there will be the brotherhood of man, in the interval there are wars, there are hatreds, there is misery, there is all this appalling division between man and man; therefore, time is creating disorder.”… – Krishnamurti, J. -The Book of Life

…

If you are truly their friend, obviously,

you are not going to solve anything for them.

You can simply help them to help themself

But only if they are truly on your side

as honest team members.

…

Very interesting. Blame, demanded and expected help,

are great indicator of who will not go anywhere, at least until

he/she realizes she/he is the one who needs to do the work.

that your wins are their wins…

…

You will see, once you start “swimming toward the island”,

there are going to be people who try to sink you down with them once the start feeling tired,

But your true friends, the honest members of the group

they’ll prefer to drown than jeopardize your chance to “get to the island.”

…”We do not care who is right or wrong, who stole our car or burned down the house. Those problem belong to the play, not to us. We do not get involved with the play… we only care to remove the lead balls which keeps us here, our false data, our agreements with the role, with the play.”

…

Having learned what we call our enemies,

are actually our best friends…

I started to look.

I did not take ‘nothing there’ for an answer.

It took me a while but once I stopped looking using the eyes of this body-valence,

once I was able to silence the mind I found what I was looking for.

.

This divorce as all the other, were all blessings…

Why?

They were disclosing one of my worse, very well hidden weakness.

.

…

“Love your Enemies, for they tell you your Faults.”

― Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack

…

My jaw dropped when this big suppose-not suppose to do

which conditioned and trapped me in this play,

as a slave, a prisoner, and who knows in how many other plays ( life.)

appeared in front of my eyes.

..

The only reason we feel a loss, we get stuck into a situation,

the reason we consider something to be a problem

is our identification with the ‘role’, the program called “Silvia”, John, Helen

which becomes a wife, a husband, a best friend, a mother, a father…

and assumes the suppose-to-do/not suppose-to-do of this roles.

My suppose/not-suppose-to-do, the chain to my entrapment has been my “loyalty”.

The material interpretation of loyalty.

.

Loyalty is used against you by the parasites of energy

to keep you close, in chain at their service.

…

…and when you identify with the role,

when you lose sight of the fact that all is nothing more than a play,

due to your identification with the role, you get trapped.

.

You have stopped being aware of playing a role in the game,

and the role is now controlling you.

.

It is only when this happen that we experience fear, pain, sense of loss or gain.

The assumption of “the role” transforms the playground,

the stage, into a prison which we call reality.

.

And when all this “is real” we are done.

…

What is loyalty?

To stay with someone who is trying to succumb,

which all he wish is to be asleep, is to be disloyal.

.

To stay next to those who are trying desperately to suffocate their thoughts

by overwhelming the minds with noise,

with extraneous exercise, with speed and danger,

it is not being loyal.

..

Those people, who try to live their life at speed,

who wish to live every moment in his fullness

are just desperate to suffocate their fear.

They are terrified to know.

Their desire of action, is their way to kill their emptiness.

.

If you attempt to help them,

they will elect you as their worse enemy….

In truth, if you would be loyal to them,

you would let them go, quietly…

you would realize that the best thing you could do for them,

once you have spiritually entered their life,

is to move quietly away and continue your progress.

.

Your progress, alone will make them better.

“Sleeping” with them, will kill you both.

.

Your spiritual power,

will help the world,

not your involvement with it.

.

.

And so today I gained a piece of freedom.

.

…

…

There is only one things you can do

once you are on the path of knowledge

and that is to help people to wake up.

.

Remember, it is a very dangerous activity and only for few.

Trying to wake up the wrong person,

will turn him into your worse enemy.

He will never forgive you

for the horrible thing you are doing.

…

You are taking away his illusions of security,

of being alive, of being someone,

you taking away their illusion of self-control and power.

…

You are giving him insecurity pain.

…

Wake up only people who are ready.

…

… Fear Makes Us Obey by J. Krishnamurti “Why do we do all this:obey, follow, copy? Why? Because we are frightened inwardly to be uncertain. We want to be certain, we want to be certain financially, we want to be certain morally,we want to be approved, we want to be in a safe position, we want never to be confronted with trouble, pain, suffering, we want to be enclosed. So, fear, consciously or unconsciously, makes us obey the Master, the leader, the priest, the government. Fear also controls us from doing something which may be harmful to others, because we will be punished. So behind all these actions, greeds, pursuits, lurks this desire for certainty, this desire to be assured. So, without resolving fear, without being free from fear, merely to obey or to be obeyed has little significance; what has meaning is to understand this fear from day to day and how fear shows itself in different ways. It is only when there is freedom from fear that there is that inward quality of understanding, that aloneness in which there is no accumulation of knowledge or of experience, and it is that alone which gives extraordinary clarity in the pursuit of the real. “ – J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life

..♣♣♣.. A child, had a way to heal himself. He was able to dream, he was doing more than that, he was living his dreams. His spiritual mind was still active and somehow awake. Than, well indoctrinated by the system, he dies and stops seeing. Today we have the video games. So, unfortunately, the child’s spiritual mind goes ‘out-of-service’ at a much earlier stage. .♣♣♣..

…

I often think of the people I love,

and at that moment I know we are touching.

.

It is an amazing feeling of closeness

a beautiful communication,

until the mind, one or more of this thinking machines,

pulls me away with their demand for physical closeness.

.

And from a beautiful wholeness

I drop right in the middle of the materiality of this universe

with its limitation and sense of loss.

.

..♣♣♣.. The mind(s) might tell you, you are delusional. That the person you love is not there. It might tell you your son, your friend or you husband is not there because he does not care. BUT THAT IS A LIE. If you feeling it, you are there, you are sharing ‘space’ in a material-free dimension, a dimension free of space, a dimension your mind(s) cannot even conceive.

.

The mind(s) rules;

–Act! Move! Go and get it!–

We are about to drink the water,

but we put the glass down

to go in search of water.

.

Every time you leave your true connection

to obey the avid mind(s),

you lose the best part of all,

you put yourself asleep

to let the mind(s) live for you.

…

And in this realm of “life” we find the common men

the one who is in search of experiences,

who need to be constantly in motion,

the sport fanatic,

the man of action,

the one who wear proudly a brand name on its clothing,

and the one who spend the time envying who has more,

while in that very desire he already has it all.

…

.

Once in while Mr. Smith enter his living room,

he is going to get his morning coffee,

this beautiful man who dug me out from the matrix few times

to give me the gift of sight.

.

I use to miss him,

miss even just looking at him.

I do not know how many times

I wanted to take the plane and go to visit him,

to be close to him,

but today when I see him walking

in the living room,

I know that no matter where this body is,

I’m there with him.

.

“Perhaps the most important thing we bring to another person is the silence in us, not the sort of silence that is filled with unspoken criticism or hard withdrawal. The sort of silence that is a place of refuge, of rest, of acceptance of someone as they are. We are all hungry for this other silence. It is hard to find. In its presence we can remember something beyond the moment, a strength on which to build a life. Silence is a place of great power and healing .” – Rachel Naomi Remen Art by Vladimir James Kush