Weddings911-We're paying, do I put my parents on the invitation?

Dear
Alene: I am getting married this fall and my fiance and I are paying for
the entire wedding. I am trying to figure out how to word the invitations. Do I
need to use the traditional wording? I really do not want everyone to know that
my parents are not paying, but I don't feel that I should put their names on
the invitation if they are not helping with any of the costs. What should I
do? Kari

Kari,
I think this is going to come down to personal preference. Using the traditional wording
will most likely give your guests the idea that your parents are hosting the
event. Truly, no one has to know that they are not, if you can live with that.
But, if this is a sticky situation and you would really not want your guests
assuming that your parents are the hosts, you could use a nontraditional
wording that would let the guests know that you and your fiance are the hosts.
There is also the third option that would not indicate any specific host.

Another
consideration in deciding what will work best for you is to think about the
type of wedding you are having. The invitation, in most cases, is the first
clue your guests receive that will give them an idea of the type of event they
are invited to. If you are planning a very traditional, formal event, you do
need to go with a traditional looking invitation, even if the wording is
slightly different. But, if this will be a very informal event, you can have
some fun with it and get as creative as you want with color, style and wording.

There
are several ways to word your invitation other than the standard. The
traditional wording would be written out as: Mr. and Mrs John Smith request the
honor of your presence (or the pleasure of your company) at the marriage of
their daughter, Jennifer Nicole.

A
nontraditional option could be: Together with their parents Jennifer Nicole
Smith and Matthew Edward Jones, Request the pleasure of your company.

Another
option could be: Because you have shared in our lives with your friendship and
love, we Jennifer Nicole Smith and Matthew Edward Jones invite you to witness
our marriage ceremony. Note that the option, request the honor of your
presence, is only used for a ceremony in a house of worship, otherwise you
would use the alternate phrase, request the pleasure of your company.

Each
of these options would then be followed with the details of the ceremony
itself. This would usually be worded as: on Saturday, the seventh of October,
two thousand thirteen, at six o'clock
in the evening. The next two lines would include the location, city and state.

So,
as you can see, you have several options, and your comfort level should dictate
which option you choose.

One
additional thought; this is not the time to create family drama, so, if there
is any way possible, I suggest you discuss your feelings and decisions with
your parents before the final decision is made. Hopefully, this will avoid any
hurt feelings and open communication down the road.

Then
take some time to think it all through, look at several possibilities and
follow your heart.