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cape girardeau weekly argus vol v cape^jairakpeau^iissouri thursday november 7 1867 no 22 a race extraordinary some years ago a race was run at the hague in holland which for its novelty excited more than ordinary interest it was between a fast trot ting horse in harness,and a full grown hog single heatâ€”distance six en glish milesâ€”for a wager of one thou sand guilders the circumstances which led to this unique trial of speed were as fol lows at a sporting club at the hague a young member of the club expatiating upon the beauty,symme try aud extraordinary speed of a trotting horse he had that day pur chased expressing an eager desire to get up a match to prove the superior qualities of the horse a gentleman engaged in a hand at cards,but whose attention had been attracted by the ardent and impassioned remarks of the speaker quietly remarked : â€” come sir don't bo bragging so much about the swiftness of your horse for i have a hog which for a trifling wage 1 i would not hesitate to run against him peals of laugh ter greeted this strange proposal to whichâ€”when partial subsidedâ€”the owner of grantor quieily interpos ed : well gentlemen i now chal lenge to run my hog nero against that gentleman's fast tro*uer in har ness one straight heat six english miles for one thousand guilders a eide done ! done was the eag er response from many voices provided the challenger resumed that the horse draw two persons and that fourteen days tiiho bo al lowed me for training my animal agreed ! agreed !" resounded a!i round j for tbe joke was deemed too good and foo novel to give it ihe go by preliminaries being satisfactorily > arranged and the stakes deposited,it was agree 3 that the match should come oil that day for might at 11 o'clock a m precisely ', and tbe bcautiiul jivenue leading from the hague to the sea shore at sohcvorihi gen was selected as tbe course the news of this extraordinary match fur a trial of speed between a fast trot ting horse and a full grevvn porker spread like wildfire and caused ihe most intense excitement not alone in pportibg circlet but among the people generally all eager to see the fun the day was anxiously looked for and the training of nero began oq the first day poor nero was slnrvcd strict orders having been given by his owner that no one should tued him himself alone attending to that matter on the second day no ro was pretty sharp set whet punc tually at 11 o'clock his muster made his appearance a rope wa9 securely fastened to one of his hind trotters and his^nruister drove him with many a kick and forcible persuasion all the way over the course to scheveningen where he fed him upon a scanty meal of two herrings which nero raven ously devoured ; afier which he had to trot it back to the hague it may be proper here lo v remark that the hog prefors fish to any other kind of food on the third day nero felt perfect ly ravenous but ho bid to lido his time and bis master had to resort to the strictest hog discipline to start him off when at 11 o'clock he pre sented himself to drive him over the course after a liberal and energetic application of the booted foot and a little loud and angry discussion be tween the respective parties they ar rived at their journey's end where nero was regaled with three her rings being one extra and which ho dispatched voraciously in double quick time lookig for more but in vain ho was then with much coaxing and kicking persuaded to re sume â€¢ the return trip homeward and which was safely accomplished although not without conbiderable opposition accompanied by vigor ous squealing and determined grunt ing on the part of nero on the fourth day punctually at 11 o'clock when his master presonted himself nero seemed to understand somewhat the object of hia calling he walked off not only without com pulsion but with considerable alacri ty at a good round pace to get to his journey's end where his master regaled him not alone with his cov eted dinner of three herrings but as a reward for his traotability and good conduct with one herring ox tra and which nero devoured with incrodiblo velocity as soon as they came within reach of hia grinders on the fifth day nero was fully up to the game and his master experi enced considerable difficulty to keep up with him at scheveningen the usual allowance r.owof four herrings was placed at his disposal and dispos ed of by him in short metre on the days following and up to the time of the race his master had do further difficulty wilh nero but to keep up with him ; nero invariably taking the lead although on the re turn trips the same difficulty always recurred a vigorous application of boots was in such case the only con vincing argument wilh nero who never could see the point nor compre hend the necessity of this back track movement and ever opstreperously squealed and grunted his objections deeming this extra exercise probably superfluous to his health as he had never shown any signs of either dys pepsia pr indigestion but be that as it niay nero had to submit to strict discipline his master intending to thus train him up to fame and re nown on the ninth dny nero had become perfectly trained and having grown extremely thin on his scanty meals ho now ran like a race horse a veri table eclipse invariably distancing bis master who followed with a fast trotting horse in harness but exer cise and spare diet were however strictly adhered to up to the day pre ceding the one on which the race was to come off on that the thirteenth day as on the first day poor nero was again starved at the usual hour of 11 his lnasjtor appeared but nero was doomed to disappointment no trot,'no herrings on-that day with eager eye and impatient grunt he signified his desire to be released from his pen but alas it was not so to be he had to submit to a day of fasting and prayerâ€”or at least pre pare for the race on the fourteenth day jjoth horse and hog appeared at thw starting post eager for the race it was a beauti ful da 7 and the road was lined the en tiro distance on both sides with anx ious and delighted spectators eager to sco the epoi-t punctually at 11 o'clock at tap of drum off they star ted amid shouts and hurrahs of the multitude the first two miles were closely contestedâ€”it wag emphatical ly a neck and oeck race \ but nero light as a feather and having in his mind's eye probably his delectable meal now fairly flow over the course gradually leaving the horse behind keeping the lead the entire distance amidst shouts and hur rahs and waving^of handkerchiefs and the wildest excitement lie reach ed the ending post beating the horse by half a mile and winning the race triumphantly for this extraordinary performance nero was rewarded with a pailful of herrings which having feasted upon to his heart's content he waddled back to the hague in the care of his master the admired of all admirers his master pocketing the purse of one thousand guilders generously spent one hundred guilders nero's portrait and which is now preserved at the sportsman's club at the hague galileo.â€”ln igs2 galileo then a youth of eighteen was seated in church when the lamps suspended from the roof were replenished by the sacristan who in doing so caus ed them to oscillate from side to side as they had done hundreds of times before when similarly disturbed he watched the lamp and thought he preceived that when the oscilla tions were diminishing they still oc cupied the same time the ideas thus suggested never departed from his mind and fifty years afterwards he constructed the first pendulum and thus gave to the world one of the most important instruments for the measurement of time after ward when living at venice it was reported to him one day . that the children of a spectacle maker while playing wilh two gluten had observ ed as they expressed it that things were brought nearor by looking through hem in a cot luiu position everybody hÂ«id how curious but galileo seized the idea and invented the first telescope a connecticut peddler asked an old lady to whom ho was trying to sell borne articles if she couul tell him of any road no peddler had ever traveled i know of but one and that is the road to heaven was the reply < hoops go around that which ruins many a manâ€”wino and women essence of criticism by dan d lyon i in these days of abbreviation and , speed there exists a necessity of looks or music in a style that can be read quickly and tho following are submitted as models of brevity in the way of books and music :. books a noble lifeâ€”george peabody's american stotesâ€”greenbacks rough diamondsâ€”charcoals her majesty's mailsâ€”prince of wales alfred and arthur about londonâ€”the suburbs last winter in romeâ€”cold the post of honorâ€”col green's oliver twistâ€”corkscrews the girl's own treasuryâ€”their papas men who have risenâ€”balloonists oberon's hornâ€”three fingers tho mountain refugeâ€”hoosac tunnel tbe way of the worldâ€”millions of tons sporting daysâ€”from 20 to 40 years of ago address and changesâ€”long and high ' â– ' the harvest of the seasâ€”cod haddock and hallibut ' the holy landâ€”the oil region the life of sir richard steele better hire it of loring who breaks pay how about mellen ward & co music comin thro the ryeâ€”whisky i know a bankâ€”newtownville or faro my highland roseâ€”did it then you made something song of the larkâ€”wa wont go home till morning there's a bowerâ€”there are tyro right aÂ»d left shells of the oceanâ€”props all haa to the landâ€”some rain would bo better ben 80lt lie won't he's steady ion impeachment the days seem longer nowâ€”well they are longer i would not live awayâ€”sour grapes " j . will you come'to tho bowerâ€”lf you play tho right one v you'll remember meâ€”when my note is protested the liquor of lifeâ€”burbon with some people rest spirit restâ€”the state con stables wiil not permit in darkness i wanderâ€”take a lantren and go straight on we met by chanceâ€”at crosby's opera house beloved starâ€”parepa by rosa tho salt lake vidott cays a wayfarer dropped into the occiden tal hotel in that place on tuesday,to get a squaro meal having planted himself in a chair at one of the tables he w ras conironted b t the waiter with : what'll you have v â– tbe hungry one faatenod his eyes on the attache le soup and said what have you got that's good oh we , have roast beef corn beef roast mut ton boiled mutton fried ham and broiled curlew !" what the h ll is curlew ?" said tho stranger cur lew why curlew is a bird some thing uka a snipe did it fly j yes then i don't want any cur lew ia kiine anything that had wings and could y and didn't leave this d d country i don't want for dinner says the randolph citizen of tho 27th last night monsieur^ostlethwait the great snake tamer who hacdlea rattlesnakes and other poisonous rep tiles as though they were doves left his snake in our office for safety during the night the old cotton mouth snake was delivered of twen eight young reptiles from six to seven inches long we told the monsieur to remove the vermin lest tbe poten cy of the influence should transform our types in.o pcrpents which might ma^e our avticlcs venomous they were removed look here boy said a nervous gentleman to an ' archin who was munching candy at a lecture you are annoying me very much no i ain't neither said the orchm/tm a gnawing this ere candy a baptist divine was recentl dis cussing the subject of baptism and af ter summing up all the arguments in hid favor ha said to his opponent i am not surprised that you object to immersion sir for that was the way 1 satan lost all his pork lookout mountain that gossipy and sparkling writer gail hamilton in her wool gather ing recently published by tieknor & fields boston gives this beautiful description of lookout mountain : i shall not soon behold a fairer : sight than this but it is no fair sight that enchains the gaze and stills the breath and 6ends a shiver through the frame not the beautiful river far down at our teet silver bright in silver light loitering between its bos ky banks on its most wilful way not the broad valley basking in thd sun beneath its mountain walls nor the mountains themselves shimmer ing now afar with a warm blue indis tinctness not one nor all of these could so fix and fill the startled soul startled with a sharp pain and with a sudden rapturet â€¢ i tome this is the battle-field of the war scarcely surpassed in the magnitude of its results never in the romantic interest of its progress east and west and north and south it stretches a line of battle eight miles long and twenty-eight hundred feet high georgia alabama tennessee are all in eight and all its battle ground off in the southeast i 8 the bloody field of chickamauga to the right stretches the long line of wooded hills that form the mission ridge , ' on the plain below and a little to the right sits cnattunooga on a point of land formod by a beud in tho river puny enough she looks squatting there in presence of all thia grandeur and glory of mountain and river like a child's roughly-handled and well-worn toy village but she keeps fast hold of her line of roads that strike out in all directions for she knows that in thenr lies her strength tho yellow highways twisting and turning across the val ley look like the veins in marble on the left is lookout valley the way ward tennessee hither and thither every where before it serious ly sets about escaping from its envir onment carvca out before us the rude outlino of a human footâ€”a hint - which the valley-dwellers took and called the conformation moccasin point thence in the battle-autumn our batterries belched up a grim sa lute to lookout and lookout sent down grim rejoinder through all this smiling silence it is easy to see this whole plain astir with armed men everywhere the terrible glit ter of bayonets the waving of bright banners bravely bore from many a hard-fought field the drum-boat and bugle-call to battle tho steady tramp of confident hosts marching under one man's eye to theplaco which one man's voice assigned them before him this wide expanse of hill and vale is an illuminated page ready to his band on which he is to write his j own and his country's name and fate in letters of living light a satirical fellow says that a house with a wife is often warm enough a home with a wife and her mother is rather warmer than any spot on the known globe a house with two mother-in-laws is so excessively hot that in can be likened to no place on earth at ail but we must.go lower for a simile as four or five darkies were pass ing an agricultural store tho other day one of them pointing to a culti vator said r a man 4 kin jest set on that thing and ride while he's plow in golly replied another the dâ€”n rascal was too sharp to think o that fore tho niggers was free a young ifldy when rebuked by her mother for kissing her intended justified herself by quoting the pass age what soever ye would that men should do unto you do ye even so unto them gov woller of california was wrecked in the golden rule and on arriving at san francisco he remark ed to a friend lost every thing sir,'everything but ray reputation governor replied his friend you travel with less baggage than any one i ever saw Â» â€¢ john said an engravor to his son take these visiting cards for new year's day op immediately to major williams now he may be made a brigadier genlral by brevet before you get there j the man who said that woman is a j mere dolusion never ought to be per i mitted to hugono courtship and love in the now play under the gas light the heroine gives utterance to the following courtship is tho text from which the whole solemn sermon of married lifo takes its theme as lovers are discontented and unhappy so will they be as wives and husbands so as you would be happy all the days of your life listen to the voice ad vising you " â€¢ : lot the woman you look upon be wise or vain ; beautiful or homely "> rich or poor she has but one thing - t which she can really give or refuse :. her heart iler beauty her wit , her accomplishments she may sell to - , youâ€”but her love is the treasure . without money and without price r she only asks in return that when } you look upon her your eyes shall ._, speak a mute devotion ; that when . you address her your voice shall be . gentle loving and kind that you shall not despise her bocauseshe can . f not understand all at once your vig . ( orous thought and ambitious designs . for when misfortune and evil have defeated your greatest purposes her love remains to console you ! you look to the trees for strength â€¢ and grandeurâ€”do not despise the r flowers because their fragrance is all they have to give remember love ' is all a woman has to giveâ€”but it is the only earthly thing that god per â€¢ mits us to carry beyond the grave competing with royalty.â€”there '' lives at laird scotland a shoemaker ; who married on the same day with * the queen and prince albert the : shoemaker's son was born on1 the same day with the prince of wales : and he the shoemaker has a son for each son the queen has and a daughter for each daughter and all born in the same month of the year the court journal calls this " com peting with royalty v \ a thrifty young man married aro Â» sy young irish girl quite to tho hor ; ror of his mother and sisters but de . fended himself by the following log ,'. ic : if i marry an american girl i f must have an irish girl to take care * of her and i cannot afford to sup i port both â– - j â– ~-.., how are ladies generally bad ' grammarians because few of them l are able to decline matrimony x â– : thackeray tells of an irish woman { begging alms of him who when she . saw him put his hand in his pocket , cried out may the blessings of god r follow you all your life but when ' he pulled out his snuff box immedi ately addedâ€”"and never overtake . ye - ; . a maine editor says that a purakin in that state grew so large that eight men could stand around it which statement was only equalled by that : of the hoosier who saw m a flock of pigeons fly so low that he could shake a stick at them . if you want to know how quick Â» you can run a mile tell a rqd-headed woman her baby squints an inconsiderate follow calls the prevalent use of tilting hoops tha hinderpost at a negro ball in lieu of not transferable on the tickets a notice was posted over the door no gen tlem admitted unless he comes himself elwes the noted miser used to say if you keep one servant your work is done ; if you keep two it is half done ; and if you keep three you may do it yourself 1 the man who never told an editor how he could better his paper has gone out west to marry the woman who never looked into a looking glass Â«' who is that grim female in a low-neck dresa there among the wall-i flowers ?" asked a of b at a ball that i she must be the night bloom ing serious . , the following " rules are posted up in a new jersey school house 1 no kissing girls in school time no licking the master during holidays a fool in high station is like a man in a balloon everybody appears lit tle to him and he appears little to everybody an old lady hearing somebody bay the mails were very irregular eaid it was just bo in ray young days no trusting any of'era why is a marriod man like a can dle because he sometimes goes out at night whon he ought not to x jape tnrto t'lcelilg gtps ** is published every thursday by x 31 lia-jultotf prop'r to whom all letters must be addressed main st opposite st charles hotel terms of subscription â€ž 1 ni nth..--so'~s one copy 1 yf>ar....s2 iv ?â„¢ 111 3 "Â« tl>s 0 Â« five cow 1 year.-il 25 ,\ r,ouim>ntlu 125 ten copies 1 yo.tr 20 00 single copies at oill-e orjti-oiu curriers five cents kates of advertising Â«,Â» r.iiira eight lines or less 1 woc-k to one month â€¢ rneveek '. 1 m throp week 2 00 t*owceln 1 60 i one month 2 50 ir^o mtracts may be made for longer periods at the lolluvving rates t 0 im 2m 3m 6m 1 year nn9 ; ( u'ire 3 50 103 5 00 3 00 10 00 j'lps.iu.iim 600 800 1100 15 00 25 00 aurter column 7oj 12 00 15 00 18 00 30 00 itilf column 10 00 15 00 20 00 33 00 60 00 one colmnu 18 00 2s 0 30 00 160 00 100 00 anxoun'oixft candidates for city offl'.cs t 00 k.tr state offices 5 00 county ortivs 3 00 conni^a 10 00 " d l hawkins o d jones ttawkiiss & jones â– wholesale frocers cottoa aenl tobacco factors and gen'l com's'n merchants north 2nd bet market & chesnut sts my3o-ly st louis 310 ferdinand cook dealkk in fine plain ane fancy fa'ly groceries wines & liquors of all kinds main street between themis and independence sts cai'u gikakdeau 110 full supply of everything in his lino always ou hand may 11 vxt i lllufbuligess wholesale and hot n dealer in nll i /# 4 ooj m 9 srockjjjks h\ts and cat-s haiidwaite 15oqts mid siioks queen'swark cotton yarm stal'iiÃŸ i\v castings / kanc â€ž salt 3rooerie3 1f ai white front store piintern row kail itr?Â«t.l capk uuiaisdkau jio ttf ~ a b lksccfih w^iolksalk and hktail dealer in nun a ooi?fe grocekits hats sz caps hvrowakk ' liaijts & ktioes qurfixswark cotton yarn staple axo caktixgs fancy salt "' guocezues c c corner of il.-ijn ami themis streets capr uiuakdkau mo f23 e ii ukake ' j uasÃŸeake " e 0 bsaf4e & im 3 wholesale and retail eealrrs'in staple dry goods grock'uks hoots shoes and hats deane edwards old stand main st gai'k jirardeau mo st|"the highest nriiket prkc paid in cash fnr uwes fathers bÂ«iÂ»tiwiix t*l;uw cotton tobacco furs c 17ji n9ore dealer in staple and fancy buy gooj3 groceries t'lotiiisf uoots & shoes , under the st charles hotel jal cal'li girardkau 110 .' watches clocks jewelry stiver ware fancy goods guitars eiiutes vi0uÂ»b c main st capk iittaiioeau mo t^"^*'o'l and clock rfp-iiriiik done on short notice no cliar<e ia;nli if satisl'-tution is not given f'3-!y p . if desipsei dkalkh in fink plain and fanct fam'y grocries boat stores wines & uquors of ail kinds front street 2d door south nf jackson street caps curarubau mo , the highest cash price paid fur country produce a full supply of eve/y article in his line always oo tian-i i so-28-y l f itlosteitsiaxn â– â– â– â– < t dealer in ladies and gents tarnishing1 goods x 5 o o xsi t3f stationery albums c main treet bet themis and harmouy in post office cape girardeau mo ftpl3 w b wilson m d t b turnbaugh wni bonney vyilsos & co druggists booksellers and Â£ t%l tioj%*e u s 9 ilarraony street second door below main givk us a call dec2b-y john h.filbrun Â« john ivers jn fil.3iujx & ivers successors to filbrun & sloan coimnissian & foivnarcsias jphoiivcr at grocery mervhajvtb aisoâ€”agents for parker's express themis & water sts cape girardeau references j b walsh st louis grovpr & miller cairo 5 bloc a ever st louis dan able &. co memphis b goldsmith & co " ' ' je2s - j & s albert dealers ik groctrlet frnllt wine mnd liquor and ' fÂ»rwardlng and commission blerch'ants also agents of the jstna insurance company of hai t ford conn - water street nd levee cape girardean y a nt ed.â€”school teachor b ; one trÂ»p icrÃŸyn?un-~the t'scrtbpr wishes to employ sutest rÂ°letllyin!in in motown in thpuiiilwj wtl'mm^'r 1 6 illustkatrd history i q b moon dentist office at his residence on spanish st _ w _ n cape giraudeau mo *Â«. b.â€”persons from a distaure should ff^k invariably nuike ensoiffements previousac f i^p to coining to the capp to havedf'ntistnmtn.ii-^i done as i am frequently away fioiii home myri h b m drg.a hbhtiing jp2syÂ§lcl*rc surgeon and accouche p oftlce s w cor middle and ilarmony streets capk gihardeat mo respectfully announces to the citizens of cape gi rardeau and surrounding counties that he is now prepared to dispense his own medicines to his pa tients jel3-'67 cbl.iveb is fall wl e 1..at15 of the v s army physician and surgeon respectfully offers his professional services to the citizens of this ci'y and vicinity special attention iriven to to operative surgery office ovej the post office n 15 vr fall is al?o a graduate of homieopathy aud is prepared to treat those who prefer that system â€¢ auâ„¢3-tf ~ bf is if stuslf piiysician and suegeon and late of the u s army off'rs his services to the citizens of cape girmlrtiu ami vicinity office on jackson str-et at kiihl & idol's drug store nl f mallard jtb i office at c e rood's drug store cape giitaiieeau mo will attend faithfully to all calls pertaininc to an office or city practice con sultation and treatment strictly confidential aplb attorney at law li cape giraureau mo wi practice in all the courts of the second pip trict particular attention will be given toktalks tate and probate litipntlon a share of business solicited temporary office jynl7-tf at the couitt house h g7~^vilgon 3w t;"tox*3.3.oy ex x sit a v%r cap gtkardeau mo will practice law in nil the counties of the 10th judicia dihtrict and in the counties of > wayne butler dunklin and st ddard in the 15th circuit llav'nt p:irt<hl wiÂ»u n interest in the govkhk ment claim jhfsiness loj h bltÃŸltotrgli who is well known as an nif-rcetic business man i will now be abie to hive uiy entire attention to t>p practice of th law u g wilson w'tlouâ€”under the bank octlpy ' g rqteheninlt b ussinot house sign & ornamental a nxoitxck to the citizr'ti of soutÃŸ knst jr^souri t that they have purchased li intprest of hernian ba<ier in flip paint't hn.-.iiiei-s on jack-on st at tiie lieail of spxhish sirt'rt c.ipe giriirilran where iliey will col^lllc hie bii.^iikss in all irsvarimis branches siici t s jmiii'iiij,'l ih'ziikt paiiprhancing sij,li l';;iiil iiij gj-ainiiiÃŸ sieucilc'ittiinr iiltliug c n29-tf mojveland & tcbler \ dealkus i^t and groceries j r a o zs m z y-t az â‚¬>- 019 j/t s cj â€¢ o^ll co â– i uuiildiiiihuli iil^ti iula^i.uijiilj xo 110 commercial street j bet chesnut & pine sts "- st louis mo j3 ii pec'a attention paid to filling country outers t^njrstbjejjl zr successor to thomas laird . - ko 94 m*\in tfci it 3 j oid staml of fiÂ«litr at bennett j jeh-8m . st louis mo r p i)l7!ti-'eb v s bmoivk \ late of dmiee 6i g t haitncaptlm uie of durtee co hcd bud late of jfendtrkon &. co , red his k,dc;eiy&cy bnd ills durfee hardcastl3 l co impurteis and jobbers in js to 531 ( old 2 ro.'ls<j main tit bet viue & wabhiugton avo.nne 025-tf st louis 3Â£o atwatertappleeersiga avholesale dealers and jobbers of 6330p skikt l corsets papkr collars shirts etc js ro 113 pine st old no 7 between main ami second streets st j,()t tis mo 93 v ry g..Â«fds merchants will aud it to their inter est tt^yxanuiie our stock before pnrcliatiiiik els(\vhere as we are the ou'y exclusive wholesale dealers in hie city of st loins dec27-ly anderson & watsont coinitiission bjerghapits 106 levee & 110 com)l st - david anderson st louis mo jonn x watson jaiil7-ly ______ . _ importers and wuolesalb dealers ik fancy ' goods notions : hp 3 o mw pa b gent's furnishing uooas uosiery gloves c no 104 north main street marls-t st louis ko p c jaccakd & co late of b jaccarj & c 0 odd fellows hall cor 4th and locust ets st louis ' deal'rs in and importers of clocks watches diamonds fink jewelry fanct goods bilver and plated ware silverware and jewelry made to order clocks watches and jewelry repaired and warrant ed gold aud silver bought ai>26-ly wimow glass tholebale and ketail dealers in french and new york sheet also colored enamraeled sky-lipht floor and car glass agents for french plate fj ah orders promptly attended to free of drayage t j mageiian & co mÂ»r2b-3ra 710 washington ay st louis mo grinseng wanted we will pay tho highest market price for dry liicrchantable giuseng during the season merchants andÂ«h'i>per are reqnested tocyui municate with us before selling fisiieu & harris ciinnnihslon merchants bops-lin ill washlntjtou aye st louis

cape girardeau weekly argus vol v cape^jairakpeau^iissouri thursday november 7 1867 no 22 a race extraordinary some years ago a race was run at the hague in holland which for its novelty excited more than ordinary interest it was between a fast trot ting horse in harness,and a full grown hog single heatâ€”distance six en glish milesâ€”for a wager of one thou sand guilders the circumstances which led to this unique trial of speed were as fol lows at a sporting club at the hague a young member of the club expatiating upon the beauty,symme try aud extraordinary speed of a trotting horse he had that day pur chased expressing an eager desire to get up a match to prove the superior qualities of the horse a gentleman engaged in a hand at cards,but whose attention had been attracted by the ardent and impassioned remarks of the speaker quietly remarked : â€” come sir don't bo bragging so much about the swiftness of your horse for i have a hog which for a trifling wage 1 i would not hesitate to run against him peals of laugh ter greeted this strange proposal to whichâ€”when partial subsidedâ€”the owner of grantor quieily interpos ed : well gentlemen i now chal lenge to run my hog nero against that gentleman's fast tro*uer in har ness one straight heat six english miles for one thousand guilders a eide done ! done was the eag er response from many voices provided the challenger resumed that the horse draw two persons and that fourteen days tiiho bo al lowed me for training my animal agreed ! agreed !" resounded a!i round j for tbe joke was deemed too good and foo novel to give it ihe go by preliminaries being satisfactorily > arranged and the stakes deposited,it was agree 3 that the match should come oil that day for might at 11 o'clock a m precisely ', and tbe bcautiiul jivenue leading from the hague to the sea shore at sohcvorihi gen was selected as tbe course the news of this extraordinary match fur a trial of speed between a fast trot ting horse and a full grevvn porker spread like wildfire and caused ihe most intense excitement not alone in pportibg circlet but among the people generally all eager to see the fun the day was anxiously looked for and the training of nero began oq the first day poor nero was slnrvcd strict orders having been given by his owner that no one should tued him himself alone attending to that matter on the second day no ro was pretty sharp set whet punc tually at 11 o'clock his muster made his appearance a rope wa9 securely fastened to one of his hind trotters and his^nruister drove him with many a kick and forcible persuasion all the way over the course to scheveningen where he fed him upon a scanty meal of two herrings which nero raven ously devoured ; afier which he had to trot it back to the hague it may be proper here lo v remark that the hog prefors fish to any other kind of food on the third day nero felt perfect ly ravenous but ho bid to lido his time and bis master had to resort to the strictest hog discipline to start him off when at 11 o'clock he pre sented himself to drive him over the course after a liberal and energetic application of the booted foot and a little loud and angry discussion be tween the respective parties they ar rived at their journey's end where nero was regaled with three her rings being one extra and which ho dispatched voraciously in double quick time lookig for more but in vain ho was then with much coaxing and kicking persuaded to re sume â€¢ the return trip homeward and which was safely accomplished although not without conbiderable opposition accompanied by vigor ous squealing and determined grunt ing on the part of nero on the fourth day punctually at 11 o'clock when his master presonted himself nero seemed to understand somewhat the object of hia calling he walked off not only without com pulsion but with considerable alacri ty at a good round pace to get to his journey's end where his master regaled him not alone with his cov eted dinner of three herrings but as a reward for his traotability and good conduct with one herring ox tra and which nero devoured with incrodiblo velocity as soon as they came within reach of hia grinders on the fifth day nero was fully up to the game and his master experi enced considerable difficulty to keep up with him at scheveningen the usual allowance r.owof four herrings was placed at his disposal and dispos ed of by him in short metre on the days following and up to the time of the race his master had do further difficulty wilh nero but to keep up with him ; nero invariably taking the lead although on the re turn trips the same difficulty always recurred a vigorous application of boots was in such case the only con vincing argument wilh nero who never could see the point nor compre hend the necessity of this back track movement and ever opstreperously squealed and grunted his objections deeming this extra exercise probably superfluous to his health as he had never shown any signs of either dys pepsia pr indigestion but be that as it niay nero had to submit to strict discipline his master intending to thus train him up to fame and re nown on the ninth dny nero had become perfectly trained and having grown extremely thin on his scanty meals ho now ran like a race horse a veri table eclipse invariably distancing bis master who followed with a fast trotting horse in harness but exer cise and spare diet were however strictly adhered to up to the day pre ceding the one on which the race was to come off on that the thirteenth day as on the first day poor nero was again starved at the usual hour of 11 his lnasjtor appeared but nero was doomed to disappointment no trot,'no herrings on-that day with eager eye and impatient grunt he signified his desire to be released from his pen but alas it was not so to be he had to submit to a day of fasting and prayerâ€”or at least pre pare for the race on the fourteenth day jjoth horse and hog appeared at thw starting post eager for the race it was a beauti ful da 7 and the road was lined the en tiro distance on both sides with anx ious and delighted spectators eager to sco the epoi-t punctually at 11 o'clock at tap of drum off they star ted amid shouts and hurrahs of the multitude the first two miles were closely contestedâ€”it wag emphatical ly a neck and oeck race \ but nero light as a feather and having in his mind's eye probably his delectable meal now fairly flow over the course gradually leaving the horse behind keeping the lead the entire distance amidst shouts and hur rahs and waving^of handkerchiefs and the wildest excitement lie reach ed the ending post beating the horse by half a mile and winning the race triumphantly for this extraordinary performance nero was rewarded with a pailful of herrings which having feasted upon to his heart's content he waddled back to the hague in the care of his master the admired of all admirers his master pocketing the purse of one thousand guilders generously spent one hundred guilders nero's portrait and which is now preserved at the sportsman's club at the hague galileo.â€”ln igs2 galileo then a youth of eighteen was seated in church when the lamps suspended from the roof were replenished by the sacristan who in doing so caus ed them to oscillate from side to side as they had done hundreds of times before when similarly disturbed he watched the lamp and thought he preceived that when the oscilla tions were diminishing they still oc cupied the same time the ideas thus suggested never departed from his mind and fifty years afterwards he constructed the first pendulum and thus gave to the world one of the most important instruments for the measurement of time after ward when living at venice it was reported to him one day . that the children of a spectacle maker while playing wilh two gluten had observ ed as they expressed it that things were brought nearor by looking through hem in a cot luiu position everybody hÂ«id how curious but galileo seized the idea and invented the first telescope a connecticut peddler asked an old lady to whom ho was trying to sell borne articles if she couul tell him of any road no peddler had ever traveled i know of but one and that is the road to heaven was the reply < hoops go around that which ruins many a manâ€”wino and women essence of criticism by dan d lyon i in these days of abbreviation and , speed there exists a necessity of looks or music in a style that can be read quickly and tho following are submitted as models of brevity in the way of books and music :. books a noble lifeâ€”george peabody's american stotesâ€”greenbacks rough diamondsâ€”charcoals her majesty's mailsâ€”prince of wales alfred and arthur about londonâ€”the suburbs last winter in romeâ€”cold the post of honorâ€”col green's oliver twistâ€”corkscrews the girl's own treasuryâ€”their papas men who have risenâ€”balloonists oberon's hornâ€”three fingers tho mountain refugeâ€”hoosac tunnel tbe way of the worldâ€”millions of tons sporting daysâ€”from 20 to 40 years of ago address and changesâ€”long and high ' â– ' the harvest of the seasâ€”cod haddock and hallibut ' the holy landâ€”the oil region the life of sir richard steele better hire it of loring who breaks pay how about mellen ward & co music comin thro the ryeâ€”whisky i know a bankâ€”newtownville or faro my highland roseâ€”did it then you made something song of the larkâ€”wa wont go home till morning there's a bowerâ€”there are tyro right aÂ»d left shells of the oceanâ€”props all haa to the landâ€”some rain would bo better ben 80lt lie won't he's steady ion impeachment the days seem longer nowâ€”well they are longer i would not live awayâ€”sour grapes " j . will you come'to tho bowerâ€”lf you play tho right one v you'll remember meâ€”when my note is protested the liquor of lifeâ€”burbon with some people rest spirit restâ€”the state con stables wiil not permit in darkness i wanderâ€”take a lantren and go straight on we met by chanceâ€”at crosby's opera house beloved starâ€”parepa by rosa tho salt lake vidott cays a wayfarer dropped into the occiden tal hotel in that place on tuesday,to get a squaro meal having planted himself in a chair at one of the tables he w ras conironted b t the waiter with : what'll you have v â– tbe hungry one faatenod his eyes on the attache le soup and said what have you got that's good oh we , have roast beef corn beef roast mut ton boiled mutton fried ham and broiled curlew !" what the h ll is curlew ?" said tho stranger cur lew why curlew is a bird some thing uka a snipe did it fly j yes then i don't want any cur lew ia kiine anything that had wings and could y and didn't leave this d d country i don't want for dinner says the randolph citizen of tho 27th last night monsieur^ostlethwait the great snake tamer who hacdlea rattlesnakes and other poisonous rep tiles as though they were doves left his snake in our office for safety during the night the old cotton mouth snake was delivered of twen eight young reptiles from six to seven inches long we told the monsieur to remove the vermin lest tbe poten cy of the influence should transform our types in.o pcrpents which might ma^e our avticlcs venomous they were removed look here boy said a nervous gentleman to an ' archin who was munching candy at a lecture you are annoying me very much no i ain't neither said the orchm/tm a gnawing this ere candy a baptist divine was recentl dis cussing the subject of baptism and af ter summing up all the arguments in hid favor ha said to his opponent i am not surprised that you object to immersion sir for that was the way 1 satan lost all his pork lookout mountain that gossipy and sparkling writer gail hamilton in her wool gather ing recently published by tieknor & fields boston gives this beautiful description of lookout mountain : i shall not soon behold a fairer : sight than this but it is no fair sight that enchains the gaze and stills the breath and 6ends a shiver through the frame not the beautiful river far down at our teet silver bright in silver light loitering between its bos ky banks on its most wilful way not the broad valley basking in thd sun beneath its mountain walls nor the mountains themselves shimmer ing now afar with a warm blue indis tinctness not one nor all of these could so fix and fill the startled soul startled with a sharp pain and with a sudden rapturet â€¢ i tome this is the battle-field of the war scarcely surpassed in the magnitude of its results never in the romantic interest of its progress east and west and north and south it stretches a line of battle eight miles long and twenty-eight hundred feet high georgia alabama tennessee are all in eight and all its battle ground off in the southeast i 8 the bloody field of chickamauga to the right stretches the long line of wooded hills that form the mission ridge , ' on the plain below and a little to the right sits cnattunooga on a point of land formod by a beud in tho river puny enough she looks squatting there in presence of all thia grandeur and glory of mountain and river like a child's roughly-handled and well-worn toy village but she keeps fast hold of her line of roads that strike out in all directions for she knows that in thenr lies her strength tho yellow highways twisting and turning across the val ley look like the veins in marble on the left is lookout valley the way ward tennessee hither and thither every where before it serious ly sets about escaping from its envir onment carvca out before us the rude outlino of a human footâ€”a hint - which the valley-dwellers took and called the conformation moccasin point thence in the battle-autumn our batterries belched up a grim sa lute to lookout and lookout sent down grim rejoinder through all this smiling silence it is easy to see this whole plain astir with armed men everywhere the terrible glit ter of bayonets the waving of bright banners bravely bore from many a hard-fought field the drum-boat and bugle-call to battle tho steady tramp of confident hosts marching under one man's eye to theplaco which one man's voice assigned them before him this wide expanse of hill and vale is an illuminated page ready to his band on which he is to write his j own and his country's name and fate in letters of living light a satirical fellow says that a house with a wife is often warm enough a home with a wife and her mother is rather warmer than any spot on the known globe a house with two mother-in-laws is so excessively hot that in can be likened to no place on earth at ail but we must.go lower for a simile as four or five darkies were pass ing an agricultural store tho other day one of them pointing to a culti vator said r a man 4 kin jest set on that thing and ride while he's plow in golly replied another the dâ€”n rascal was too sharp to think o that fore tho niggers was free a young ifldy when rebuked by her mother for kissing her intended justified herself by quoting the pass age what soever ye would that men should do unto you do ye even so unto them gov woller of california was wrecked in the golden rule and on arriving at san francisco he remark ed to a friend lost every thing sir,'everything but ray reputation governor replied his friend you travel with less baggage than any one i ever saw Â» â€¢ john said an engravor to his son take these visiting cards for new year's day op immediately to major williams now he may be made a brigadier genlral by brevet before you get there j the man who said that woman is a j mere dolusion never ought to be per i mitted to hugono courtship and love in the now play under the gas light the heroine gives utterance to the following courtship is tho text from which the whole solemn sermon of married lifo takes its theme as lovers are discontented and unhappy so will they be as wives and husbands so as you would be happy all the days of your life listen to the voice ad vising you " â€¢ : lot the woman you look upon be wise or vain ; beautiful or homely "> rich or poor she has but one thing - t which she can really give or refuse :. her heart iler beauty her wit , her accomplishments she may sell to - , youâ€”but her love is the treasure . without money and without price r she only asks in return that when } you look upon her your eyes shall ._, speak a mute devotion ; that when . you address her your voice shall be . gentle loving and kind that you shall not despise her bocauseshe can . f not understand all at once your vig . ( orous thought and ambitious designs . for when misfortune and evil have defeated your greatest purposes her love remains to console you ! you look to the trees for strength â€¢ and grandeurâ€”do not despise the r flowers because their fragrance is all they have to give remember love ' is all a woman has to giveâ€”but it is the only earthly thing that god per â€¢ mits us to carry beyond the grave competing with royalty.â€”there '' lives at laird scotland a shoemaker ; who married on the same day with * the queen and prince albert the : shoemaker's son was born on1 the same day with the prince of wales : and he the shoemaker has a son for each son the queen has and a daughter for each daughter and all born in the same month of the year the court journal calls this " com peting with royalty v \ a thrifty young man married aro Â» sy young irish girl quite to tho hor ; ror of his mother and sisters but de . fended himself by the following log ,'. ic : if i marry an american girl i f must have an irish girl to take care * of her and i cannot afford to sup i port both â– - j â– ~-.., how are ladies generally bad ' grammarians because few of them l are able to decline matrimony x â– : thackeray tells of an irish woman { begging alms of him who when she . saw him put his hand in his pocket , cried out may the blessings of god r follow you all your life but when ' he pulled out his snuff box immedi ately addedâ€”"and never overtake . ye - ; . a maine editor says that a purakin in that state grew so large that eight men could stand around it which statement was only equalled by that : of the hoosier who saw m a flock of pigeons fly so low that he could shake a stick at them . if you want to know how quick Â» you can run a mile tell a rqd-headed woman her baby squints an inconsiderate follow calls the prevalent use of tilting hoops tha hinderpost at a negro ball in lieu of not transferable on the tickets a notice was posted over the door no gen tlem admitted unless he comes himself elwes the noted miser used to say if you keep one servant your work is done ; if you keep two it is half done ; and if you keep three you may do it yourself 1 the man who never told an editor how he could better his paper has gone out west to marry the woman who never looked into a looking glass Â«' who is that grim female in a low-neck dresa there among the wall-i flowers ?" asked a of b at a ball that i she must be the night bloom ing serious . , the following " rules are posted up in a new jersey school house 1 no kissing girls in school time no licking the master during holidays a fool in high station is like a man in a balloon everybody appears lit tle to him and he appears little to everybody an old lady hearing somebody bay the mails were very irregular eaid it was just bo in ray young days no trusting any of'era why is a marriod man like a can dle because he sometimes goes out at night whon he ought not to x jape tnrto t'lcelilg gtps ** is published every thursday by x 31 lia-jultotf prop'r to whom all letters must be addressed main st opposite st charles hotel terms of subscription â€ž 1 ni nth..--so'~s one copy 1 yf>ar....s2 iv ?â„¢ 111 3 "Â« tl>s 0 Â« five cow 1 year.-il 25 ,\ r,ouim>ntlu 125 ten copies 1 yo.tr 20 00 single copies at oill-e orjti-oiu curriers five cents kates of advertising Â«,Â» r.iiira eight lines or less 1 woc-k to one month â€¢ rneveek '. 1 m throp week 2 00 t*owceln 1 60 i one month 2 50 ir^o mtracts may be made for longer periods at the lolluvving rates t 0 im 2m 3m 6m 1 year nn9 ; ( u'ire 3 50 103 5 00 3 00 10 00 j'lps.iu.iim 600 800 1100 15 00 25 00 aurter column 7oj 12 00 15 00 18 00 30 00 itilf column 10 00 15 00 20 00 33 00 60 00 one colmnu 18 00 2s 0 30 00 160 00 100 00 anxoun'oixft candidates for city offl'.cs t 00 k.tr state offices 5 00 county ortivs 3 00 conni^a 10 00 " d l hawkins o d jones ttawkiiss & jones â– wholesale frocers cottoa aenl tobacco factors and gen'l com's'n merchants north 2nd bet market & chesnut sts my3o-ly st louis 310 ferdinand cook dealkk in fine plain ane fancy fa'ly groceries wines & liquors of all kinds main street between themis and independence sts cai'u gikakdeau 110 full supply of everything in his lino always ou hand may 11 vxt i lllufbuligess wholesale and hot n dealer in nll i /# 4 ooj m 9 srockjjjks h\ts and cat-s haiidwaite 15oqts mid siioks queen'swark cotton yarm stal'iiÃŸ i\v castings / kanc â€ž salt 3rooerie3 1f ai white front store piintern row kail itr?Â«t.l capk uuiaisdkau jio ttf ~ a b lksccfih w^iolksalk and hktail dealer in nun a ooi?fe grocekits hats sz caps hvrowakk ' liaijts & ktioes qurfixswark cotton yarn staple axo caktixgs fancy salt "' guocezues c c corner of il.-ijn ami themis streets capr uiuakdkau mo f23 e ii ukake ' j uasÃŸeake " e 0 bsaf4e & im 3 wholesale and retail eealrrs'in staple dry goods grock'uks hoots shoes and hats deane edwards old stand main st gai'k jirardeau mo st|"the highest nriiket prkc paid in cash fnr uwes fathers bÂ«iÂ»tiwiix t*l;uw cotton tobacco furs c 17ji n9ore dealer in staple and fancy buy gooj3 groceries t'lotiiisf uoots & shoes , under the st charles hotel jal cal'li girardkau 110 .' watches clocks jewelry stiver ware fancy goods guitars eiiutes vi0uÂ»b c main st capk iittaiioeau mo t^"^*'o'l and clock rfp-iiriiik done on short notice no cliar wayne butler dunklin and st ddard in the 15th circuit llav'nt p:irtp practice of th law u g wilson w'tlouâ€”under the bank octlpy ' g rqteheninlt b ussinot house sign & ornamental a nxoitxck to the citizr'ti of soutÃŸ knst jr^souri t that they have purchased li intprest of hernian ba- 019 j/t s cj â€¢ o^ll co â– i uuiildiiiihuli iil^ti iula^i.uijiilj xo 110 commercial street j bet chesnut & pine sts "- st louis mo j3 ii pec'a attention paid to filling country outers t^njrstbjejjl zr successor to thomas laird . - ko 94 m*\in tfci it 3 j oid staml of fiÂ«litr at bennett j jeh-8m . st louis mo r p i)l7!ti-'eb v s bmoivk \ late of dmiee 6i g t haitncaptlm uie of durtee co hcd bud late of jfendtrkon &. co , red his k,dc;eiy&cy bnd ills durfee hardcastl3 l co impurteis and jobbers in js to 531 ( old 2 ro.'ls26-ly wimow glass tholebale and ketail dealers in french and new york sheet also colored enamraeled sky-lipht floor and car glass agents for french plate fj ah orders promptly attended to free of drayage t j mageiian & co mÂ»r2b-3ra 710 washington ay st louis mo grinseng wanted we will pay tho highest market price for dry liicrchantable giuseng during the season merchants andÂ«h'i>per are reqnested tocyui municate with us before selling fisiieu & harris ciinnnihslon merchants bops-lin ill washlntjtou aye st louis