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Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Curse of the Bargnanino

*NOTE* Thanks to horrible internet, it's been 41 days since I wrote this, and I can only post it now that I'm at the airport.

As you may already know from my last post, I have been in
Ghana for the past week and a half. While my family is originally from here,
and it’s been a relaxing time here, I have one major issue with this country.
Internet is not as widely accessible as it is to me back in New York. I have a
wireless modem here that gives me reasonably slow internet at home. Then there are the internet
cafés, which are usually reliable, until I went to one on Monday which for some
reason had newyorksportsplus.com blocked.[1] So
now I’m typing this on Word, to then upload using my modem.[2]

Anyway, while I was at the internet café, I saw this:

(Mouth agape).

(Flabbergasted).

(Clicking).

(Waiting).

(Waiting).

(Waiting).

(Flying to New York and back).

Oh look! It loaded.

(Throwing things).

(Flipping over computers).

(Checked into mental hospital because I kept screaming
“F’ing Andrea!!!!!” and no one knew what the hell I was talking about).[3]

So this deal will help the Knicks long-term because it
clears up a considerable amount of cap room for the summer of 2015 when big
name free agents like Marc Gasol, Rajon Rondo, and the whole city of Miami will
be on the market.[5] J.R.
Smith and any first round draft picks between now and July 2015 are the only
guaranteed contracts the Knicks will have nothing on the books. So yes, that
means that Amar’e Stoudemire will finally do one of three things: take a major
pay cut, go back to the Suns and their amazing medical staff and revive his
career[6],
go to Germany and get that probably illegal blood treatment and win the MVP the
next year, or, the most likely scenario, spend the rest of his life begging for
forgiveness from every fire extinguisher on this planet.

I’m all about the future, but this deal is a killer in the
short-term.

Yes Bargnani is a former #1 overall pick and yes he has
shown promise at times in his career. Only problem is he isn’t very good and
hasn’t been for a while.

First of all, Bargnani has the rebounding prowess of a brick
wall despite being 7 feet tall. But I get it, that’s not why the Knicks got
him. They got him to be a knock down shooter from mid to long range.

Too bad he’s not good at that either. He shot 30.9% from
three last year and 29.6% in, albeit a very short 2011-12, but that might be
even worse. He’s a career 36.1% shooter from three. Overall he shot just a bit
under 40% last year, which is really
encouraging.[7]

This move also is probably what cost the Knicks Chris Copeland,
who I’d much rather have than Bargnani. At least we know that neither is going
to play any defense whatsoever, but Copeland provides great shooting and a lot
more effort.

Oh, and by the way, we gave up a first round pick in this deal. First round! For him!

I dislike this move almost as much as I dislike Lucas Duda.
In fact, that spawned an interesting idea as I wrote that, the Duda Scale[8],
but I’ll get to that later.

For the Knicks, it’s the start of the Curse of the
Bargnanino.

(Cue the montage of suffering Knicks fans who thought that
the Isiah Thomas era was enough pain for 37 generations).

(Still throwing things).

[1] It also
blocked basketball-reference.com so I’m not sure if I’ve made it or I’m just a
casualty of horrible connection. I’m going to stick with the former and don’t
try to convince me otherwise.

[2] Only
problem is, I have no idea when I’ll upload this. Apparently my modem has
decided to never connect to the “New Post” page on my site. Damn you MTN and
everything you stand for.

[3] Okay
that certainly didn’t happen.

[4] Yes, I
do mean live, they are still
celebrating. They may never stop. This rivals the party that broke out in
Atlanta when Joe Johnson was traded to the Nets. Even if the Raptors win an NBA
title before the end of time (doubtful), 7/1/13 will forever be known as the
greatest day in franchise history.

[5] News
from the future: the Heat amnestied their fans. It’s a great move for their
team financially, those guys brought nothing to the table.

[6] Also
known as: The Anti-Shaqtus

[7] On a
related note, I hear the sarcasm scale just broke. Early reports say it
happened in West Africa. Oops.

[8] No, not
the bathroom scale he broke when he showed up overweight to Spring Training.