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Thursday, November 28, 2013

It's thanksgiving, a time to stop and be thankful and spend the whole month sharing what we are thankful for, before we indulge in gluttony and finally arrive in December so true joy can come and so can Santa. Everyone has spent the whole month on facebook sharing what they are thankful for. I love it and in order to join the crowds and attempt at being cool, I am going to do it here and list 30 things I am truly thankful for. Of course without breaking the pattern, in Ally's fashion, its late and a little bit different because if you don't know already that I am thankful for God, husband, kids, family, health, etc etc etc, then you need another drink ;)

1. I am thankful for orgasms. Sometimes one is just about the only thing that can fix a crappy day, not to mention a headache.

2. I am thankful for spanx. No one except my truly forgiving/blind husband needs to see all the side effects of all the olives I eat ;)

3. I am thankful for liquor. Wine, malibu, whiskey, gasoline, whatever I need at the end of the day to feel like a sane human being.

4. I am thankful for walls and time out. Because sometimes this mommy just needs a break before she ends up on the news.

5. I am thankful for coffee. I am incapable of being a pleasant human being without it.

6. I am thankful for Santa who doesn't give presents based on merit, because only he knows I haven't deserved one since about 1983.

7. I am thankful for the hide option on facebook. No I don't care to see every single day every single day the drama you post, but when I need a laugh, its easy to unhide it.

8. I am thankful for chocolate, chips, cookies, cakes, and all things yummy. Sometimes the only way I can deal with your stupid ass is by knowing there will be a little pot of yumminess to make it up for it. Also works for birthday party and dealing with bratty kids.

9. I am thankful for my friends. They are truly good people with hearts of gold who are ready at a moments notice to bury a body in case I need it. Also they are so insane sometimes they make me feel sane.

10. I am thankful for my ability to quickly get shit done. How else would I be lazy until 3:40 and then quickly clean the house and make dinner so my husband can walk in the door at 4pm and think I busted my ass all day???

11. I am thankful for my meds. I am not currently sitting in jail because of them!

12. I am thankful for underwire because the only thing perky on my body is my nipples on a cold day.

13. I am thankful for quick paint touch up. No honestly he doesn't really need to know how many times I have hit the curb,other cars, shopping carts, ...............

14. I am thankful for take out. Yeah I am a good cook, but honey sometimes I just don't feel like putting in the effort but want the praise!

15. I am thankful for tampons. No wonder teens are all depressed, I would be too if I still had to wear what felt like a diaper once a month.

16. I am thankful for awesome cleaning products that makes me pass off as susie homemaker when actually I am lazy Peggy Bundy.

17. I am thankful for hidden savings account. He loves and adores me only because of my ability to hide how much I truly spend at Target.

18. I am thankful for Tums. Self control is a thing of the past.

19. I am thankful for all the crazy mothers out there. I pinched my kid in public?? Oh well she made hers sit outside tied to a post. You are a great mother. The bar has been lowered.

20. I am thankful for lollipops and bribery. Without them everyone in town would know how little control I have over these little dictators.

21. I am thankful for good family members. Every family got one and its the only way we can put up with the crappy ones.

22. I am thankful for convenience. Sometimes going out in pjs is a necessity and no one needs to know it because of drive thru.

23. I am thankful for all the shitty people in the world. They serve as examples for how awesome I am, and each and every day I get to say to myself "I am fucking awesome because I am not like so and so"

24. I am thankful for spell check. It helps me to sound somewhat literate and not be one of those that people make fun of because they misspell definitely.

25. I am thankful for all the mommy wars on the internet. They help keep me grounded and really worry about the important shit.

26. I am thankful for the bff code. Yeah I talk shit, you do it, I do it, we all do it, but because of the bff code, its always on the down low.

27. I am thankful for the internet. It has answered every peculiar question without judgement.

28. I am also thankful for the ability to clear a browsing history. I don't want to shock anyone with my peculiar questions or curiosity like dolphin rape, vaginoplasty, how flamingos have sex, so on and so forth.

29. I am thankful for public school. Yeah as much as this mommy loves them, she is not well or medicated enough to keep them happy, healthy and entertained 365 days of the year.

30. and last but not least I am thankful for you. Either you are making me feel normal or insane and only I know it which way the pendulum is swinging ;)

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

OMG I can't believe it has been months since I blogged. It's honestly not because I don't enjoy it or because I have nothing to talk about. The reason I haven't blogged in forever is because I had no direction for this blog.

Let me catch you up first and than we will talk about that.

Husband came home and we are now civilian again with no more deployments in our horizon. I could have totally talked about that, but who wants to hear about the trials and tribulations of reintegration?? Boring!!!

Then my son graduated kinder and we purchased our first home. I could have talked a lot about how to choose your perfect home and I might later on, but right now all I want to do is continue to enjoy this huge accomplishment and I can't find the words to do it justice...so....

I survived a whole summer with 2 kids. I barely remember it..lol

We started on various home improvements that I absolutely love/loathe. I will talk about some of it later on but its nothing like younghouselove so lower your expectations..

and I sent off both of my kids to school. My daughter started prek, my son started 1st grade and I started my last year of school. Come next june I will have a Bachelors. OMG!!!

So now that you are all caught up in our lives, I can explain why I haven't written in so long.

Right now its a mesh of happenings in our lives. I wanted to write an organizational blog because organizing is something I love. I am not great at it, but it has really improved my life, but then I see so many in the blogsphere doing it so much better than I could. I still might add a tab talking about just with tips on how to get organized because honestly it has really made my life better.

Then I could write about home improvements but I am not that great. Hello I cried when I was painting my daughters room because no one ever told me the first coat of paint will look absolutely horrible, until you give a second coat and it took my husband and myself 11 hours to install hardwood flooring in one room. Totally not experts at all. *** we did improve and the second room we did only took 5.

I could write a blog about cooking on a ramen budget without eating ramen all the time, but I am not on a ramen budget anymore, so I didn't think that would be fair.

So here we are, I took months and months off this blog and didn't accomplish anything. Didn't find any sense of direction and it will continue to be a directionless blog.

I am glad you are still around, I promise I will try to keep it interesting, because sometimes just like in blogs, there are no directions in life and you have to make it up as you go...**CORNY***

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Do you want to know the secret to being an amazing mother it is?? Knowing your limitations. Sounds simple doesn't it?? Yet it is that simple.

Let me share a back story and explain.
Back in June 2001 I was a newly engaged woman ready to walk down the aisle a couple of months later, know it all 20 year old, when the case of Andrea Yates made headlines. For those who don't know Andrea Yates was a Texas woman accused of drowning her 5 children in the bathtub of her house.
This happened exactly one week before my 21 st birthday and when I heard the news I was appalled. What a monster. How could she possibly do that to her children? She definitely deserves the death penalty.

Oh I was a judgmental little shit, just like many woman are before they have kids. They are amazing know- it -alls full of theories and ideas. But don't worry, all it takes is one colicky baby and a deployed husband to wake their asses up and bring them down to reality for them to realize "OH shit I think I am fucking this up and I don't know as much as I thought I did".

Yep it happened to me and will happen to every other one out there. Its just one of those dirty little secrets no one talks about it.
I don't care who you are, what kind of patience you have or how many books you have read: You are up for the umpteen time in a night with a crying child running on no sleep and lots of tears, and your mind will wander to dark places.
Whatever happened to Andrea Yates could happen to any one of us at any time.

You know why it doesn't happen more often?? Because we all learn our limitations early on. We all can think, process and realize we are close to an abysm, this is not the route we want to go, so we back away from it, ask for help, cry to our spouse, our mommies, our friends. We sit in a corner with a pint of ben and jerks flipping through "DR Know it all" latest bestseller trying desperately to find answers or comfort.
Knowing our limitations is the only way to keep us sane and keep our children alive.

Everyone has heard of the term "Keeping up with the Jones", well in the mommy world there should be a term called "Keeping up with Susie fucking homemaker".
With the world of Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram and etc, its very easy to get sucked into this idea that you are a shitty mom if you don't:

*Wake up with an amazing disposition every day instead of grumbling and wondering why the fuck didn't you go to bed at 8pm like they do??

*cook organic breakfast on BPA free containers instead of the reality of handing them a sugar laced pop tart

*Send in origami shaped healthy lunches instead of the easy luncheables they love

* tell your child you love them 10 times before walking out the door instead of the normal "Move your ass or you are going to be late and I am not driving your ass to school " popular phrase

*send them to the best rated school in the country instead of just a decent school that is not next to the local strip club

*clean your house from top to bottom during the day instead of surfing the web and reading Perez Hilton.

* Greet them at the door with love and affection instead of getting on them about ripping yet another pair of shoes
and so on and so on and so on.

I seriously don't know why aren't we all rocking in a corner crying and just putting up our children for adoption because no one can possibly meet these fucking standards set so high by some mommies drunk on wine and prozac.

You know why we are not doing that?? Because we have learned our limitations. Its okay if he eats a pop tart for breakfast today but I am going to make him a veggie laced casserole for dinner. I don't send origami shaped lunch but I don't beat his ass with a wooden spoon and twist his arm until it breaks, so he will be okay and not traumatized because there were no angry bird shaped sandwich on his lunchbox.
We realize that even though we are not the best mother in the world, we are always trying and striving to do better day in day out, tuck here, fix there, adjust here. By constantly worrying about the way things are going, already proves we are pretty awesome.

So why is it that in my generation some moms are not learning about their limitations and deciding they can homeschool ??

"Oh hell no she didn't go there"

Yeah I was worried about talking about this subject, but it needs to be talked about. So I am zipping up my flame suit now.

"Yep she did"

While I do think almost every mother out there is trying the best for her child and has their best interest in mind, I think some of them are running on misguide.
Not everyone was born with the patience to have 7 kids, some are and are amazing at it, but most aren't. That is the same thing with teaching. Not everyone was born to be a teacher. Some are and are really doing a wonderful thing for their child at home, but most aren't.

Why do teachers need a bachelors degree an some on job training before they can even be left alone in a classroom?? Its for the reason to see if they can cut it.

So why don't you know your limitation?? That with just an associates degree and making grammar error filled posts on Facebook and spending thousands of hours on Pinterest, you are not cut out to teach??

Its okay, it doesn't make you a bad mom. Honestly, it really doesn't. I think I am a pretty good mom but only because I know my limits.

I know two children are my limits, if God gave me 6 kids, I am not sure all 6 would still be alive and healthy today.
I learned early on that no child would die by being left to cry in their room for 5 minutes, but if mommy didn't decompress and soon, terror could ensue for sure.
I definitely know I don't have what it takes to homeschool just like I don't have what it takes to live in Alaska. If I were to attempt either, I am sure I would somehow find a way to do it, but it would be with a lot of pain, frustration and it definitely wouldn't be the best for anyone.

So why can't you just accept your limits and really do what is best for your child which is to put them in a dang school and supplement with tutors or whatever it is that you have to?? Why this need to homeschool for absolutely no reason at all just to say that you do it too?

Find what you are good at, where you can rock at being an amazing mom and run with that. Don't try to keep up with Suzie fucking homemakers.
Your child deserves better than that.

These are the bomb. I eat them for breakfast everyday and can almost believe I am eating a peanut butter fudge. It makes me feel kind of naughty until I remember how healthy and yummy they are. I did half the recipe just to make it for the first time and even then I thought it was too sweet. A bit less honey next time and they will be perfect.

These were also a hit. I needed to make a dinner in which would be healthy and I could make it before hand for the nights my son has Karate and we don't get home until 6pm starving. These fit the bill. It took me longer to convert the recipe than making them and they came out very very tasty. Kids couldn't even tell they were eating something healthier for them. Also super easy to freeze. I popped them into the microwave on monday morning and my son had them for lunch at school per his request. Another keeper.

That is it for now. I have a bunch more but I don't want to overload you with yumminess.

February dd turned 4. I did not get emotional I promise. Not once, not even a little bit. I am not still emotional at all that my baby is growing up. *sniff sniff*.

Anyways she was due for a big birthday (I only throw big birthdays every couple of years) and since Crafty Mc Crafty aka my mom was here, there was a huge kitty explosion and a very happy toddler (is 4 still toddler or considered child?? let me go cry some more hahaha).

I haven't posted in forever, well since last year. I honestly don't know why. No excuses. I had enough to say but no desire to sit down and type it all up. Hopefully I will find some desire soon and post normally. So lets catch up shall we.

December was R&R, a 15hr drive to S Fl to spend Christmas with my parents then back home only to turn around a couple of days later and drive 8 hrs up to PA to spend New Years with the inlaws. I went from mild 30-40 degrees in VA to a sunny 70-80 in S Florida to about 20 degrees and a good 4 feet of snow in PA. How we didn't all get sick is still beyond me.

January brought the ending of R&R and a cloudy rain over my head. I was like one of those cartoons in which the cloudy rain just follows it around. My kickers were all in a twist and I just could not pull them up once again. I had a really rough time getting into the swing of things. My mommy came and spent a month with me and that helped a lot. I untwisted my panties, pulled them up once again and got into a routine and back to my donut of misery again.

Anyways, enough of rambling here are some pictures because honestly pictures can tell a story much better than I can :)

Thursday, December 20, 2012

On Friday after just done baking a german chocolate cake, I sat down to watch the news and learned about the overwhelming sadness that descendent upon Conn. I had legs to shave, food to finish making, house to finish cleaning because after 9 long months my husband was on his transatlantic flight on the way home to spend 20 days filled with fun.

I was so happy and excited about my husband coming home yet I had tears rolling down my face after trying to comprehend what going on in an elementary school states away. A school just like the one I had sent my son to that exact same morning.

Did I tell him I loved him?? Have I been kissing him enough?? If he were to die today, would there be any unsaid words left?? Probably, and that broke my heart.

I cried, and cried some more for those children, those parents, the gunman's family that will forever have to live with the realization they raised a killer, the community, the country, I cried for them all and then I remembered... the only way to make the dead proud is to live. Live a full life and try to not take anything for granted.

Various parents did the same thing. They gave their children extra hugs when they came off the bus, they remembered to tell them they loved them, they gave them an extra cookie for dessert, they read an extra bedtime story and they promised themselves to not take anything for granted anymore.

I did the same, I got dressed, shaved my legs, picked up my children up from the bus stop, and picked my husband up from the aiport. Happy that we get 20 days to spend. Happy that he is alive and I have more time to tell him how much I love him and appreciate him, instead of sad its only 20 days.

In the next 20 days we have millions of things to do, and my resolve to not take anything for grant again might falter. I might get mad at my husband for putting socks on the couch, or upset my children spilled something for the millionth time, I am not perfect, but I am thankful I got one more chance to do it right, and you will be dammed if I waste it :)

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

This month things have been crazy. Its the last month before R&R, my nerves are shot and I am so ready for him to be home.

Because of all of this, I have crammed way too much this past month and kept record of it with my phone. So here is the dump...

Enjoy!!!

1. I got my nose pierced :

2. I bought a shirt to wear for Christmas but hate the way my belly looks into it so now I got to find a good sucky thing! I need plastic surgery so so bad. I seriously need to get over the fear and just get it done!!!!!

3. I bought dh's clone :)

4. I learned how to dress my daughter in below 40 temps!!

5. I took pictures of gorgeous fall trees.

6. I survived 5 days at home w/ the kids over the thanksgiving holiday.

7. I had the bright idea of buy magnetic boards and get all these magnets off my fridge and into a somewhat work of art!

8. I borrowed ideas from pinterest and made a Christmas card holder

9. I tried one dress

10. and I tried another dress and I still don't have an outfit for homecoming. Commence stress in 5,4,...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

You see, I didn't grew up with halloween, back home you get bags of candy on Saint of the Children's day and you dress up for Carnival. So halloween has always been kind of odd to me.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love dressing up the kids in costume and checking out the other kids in costumes. I love giving out candy and if I live in a neighborhood with lots of trick or treaters, I feel like I died and went to heaven. I don't complain about the kids not in costume and don't even care if they are too old to T&T. To me, if you are willing to walk, I will gladly hand you a candy, because you see.....I despise walking the kids around on halloween. I can't stand it. I much rather sit on my front porch, sipping a margarita and handing out candy while checking out the awesome costumes.

Dh loves taking the kids out so it works out, well except when he isn't home. I was dreading it having to bundle the kids up, walk around, reminding them over and over to say thank you and to stay on the sidewalk. I was going to miss out sitting on my ass checking out the costumes. No bueno!

The heavens must have listened. My friends husband decided this year he didn't want to stay home, he was going to take the kids and my friend was going to stay home and pass out the candy. I jumped at the opportunity to throw my kids at him. For the small cost of my famous cheesecake bites batch, he agreed, we shook on it and that was that.

I turned off my lights, grabbed my 5 bags of candy (my friend warned me this neighborhood has tons of trick or treaters) and off to her porch with my 2 munchikins I went. They left with instructions to turn up the cute and grab mommy lots of yummy stuff, and we stayed back talking. It was amazing. So many kids so many different costumes, I had a really great time. Gave away all the candy, my kids got a huge loot and some Jesus is your savior flyers (totally odd and halloween is not the time to preach but whatever).

Pinterest also came through again this year providing me with a simple cool thing to do for this uncrafty mom.

Last year it was halloween spiders:

this year it was frankenstein puddings.

So simple, yet so much fun. I got a ton of hugs and kisses for it.

Customary halloween picture (My kids and godchildren)

Oh so tired but oh so happy with the prospect of eating lbs and lbs of sugar.

One holiday down, one to go, and then hubby home for R&R for the 3rd one. I couldn't be happier.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Everyone that is not friends with me on facebook has been asking whats up with my weight loss. I mean I created a whole new tab in this blog just to talk about it.

When I started this journey, I became obsessed. I would weigh, measure myself and my food, than I hit stalls and would freak out. "OMG this is not going to work for me. I am destined to be fat..blah blah blah".
Finally I got so busy I didn't have time to do all of this anymore that took so much out of my life.

Something extraordinary happened, the less I worried, the more I lost. I went to Brazil and indulged, I bought Cheetos for the first time in years and years and really enjoyed every single crumb and even licked my orange dusted fingers. I went out to lunch with friends and ordered whatever I pleased. Granted instead of a whole bag of chips I can maybe have a tiny bag, instead of appetizer, main course, and dessert, I can only manage appetizer, but it wasn't just boring healthy stuff. It was deep fried and delicious except now everything was on moderation. Life was good, and the scale was moving the right direction. I got 5 lbs away from goal and was so happy with myself, until of course I hit a stall and here I am. If we don't count these last 5lbs, I would have been at goal 9 months post op. 90 lbs lost. Except I been fighting with these 5lbs for 2 months now and they are not going anywhere. Everyone tells me I am at goal and to just be happy, and don't get me wrong, I am happy, this is the best thing I ever did in my life. I feel wonderful, have to so much energy and food doesn't control me anymore. Except, goal is goal and I am 5 lbs from goal.

Also, last night after surviving the storm of the century, I realized how I still turn to food. Last week at the supermarket if you were a little fly and could read thoughts you would see a woman standing in front of the containers of nutella going "Should I or shouldn't I??" Finally her little devil sitting on her shoulder said "I am going to buy nutella. I have lost almost 90 lbs, I am mature and have self control" and I happily walked to the cash register and paid for my purchases, including my beautiful jar of nutella that I hadn't bought in over a year. I completely forgot about it until last night. I was so stressed, I had 3 tablespoons of nutella. Now in the grand scheme of things, 3 tablespoons of nutella is not going to do it anything, its not like I am bathing in it and my pores are seeping it and turning into fat 24/7. But it just shocked me, how little self control I have and how food is still a comfort for me. I don't know if this is only a fat girl things, or even skinny people with amazing bodies, still use food for comfort??

Fear also creeped up. I don't want to go back to "the before". Not only for vanity reasons or the fact that I am really enjoying buying size 10's. I don't want to go back to the before, because in the before, that girl wasn't happy, she was depressed and not really living. A complete 180 from who she is today.

So, this morning I am back to the basics, lots of protein, lots of water and no nutella or cheetos for a while, because I set up to do something when I started this and that was to reach 150lbs and 155 is not 150. I know its close and all but its not goal.