A woman named Rachel Owens filed a lawsuit against Hilary Duff today, claiming the actress "plowed into her car" back in 2010, causing "great mental, physical and nervous pain and suffering." According to TMZ, Owens is suing for unspecified damages, claiming that her injuries from the Duff-induced accident have prevented her from working at her unspecified job. No word from the Duff camp. [TMZ]

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Ever since some vigilant culture warrior alerted Glenn Beck to the existence of Glee, the dude has been frothing at the mouth about hedonism and "self-gratification" and the creeping rot known as "show choir" at the heart of our nation. "It's horrifying some of the things that they're teaching high schoolers," Beck says. "But it's brilliantly done. It's produced, brilliantly. Its music, brilliant. Its acting, brilliant. Its cinematography, brilliant. All of it!" And now he's ready to give Ryan Murphy's insidious army of tapdancing gays a taste of their own medicine. With the help of..."A RAPPER." "We are working with a rapper," Beck says, "I can't say who yet — but my audience and his audience will say, 'What?' We jokingly call this our Oedipus project because the left will be making out with me ... and they'll have no idea." Yeah. I'm sure America's youth is going to be completely hoodwinked by your thinly veiled archconservative dad-rap. Fucking dork. [NYDN]

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Mike Tyson plans to team up with Spike Lee to stage his one-man show, Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth on Broadway this summer. "Tyson said that the show would be 'raw' and 'filthy' and that he would show his vulnerable side. It will include tales about his stormy marriage to actress Robin Givens, his time in prison, his relationship with his trainer and surrogate father, Cus D'Amato, and the time he spent in a psychiatric clinic as a result of his addiction to cocaine." Well then. [Yahoo!]

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Sharon Osbourne opened up on The Talk about her son Jack's recent multiple sclerosis diagnosis: "He's great – he's doing really, really good and I want to thank everyone for all their texts and goodwill and love they send to us," she said, adding, "It's been amazing … for Jack 'cause I really believe that vibes of prayer help." [People]

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Nick Stahl is missing again! According to his family, the actor checked himself out of rehab a week ago and has not been seen in four days. "Now he's disappeared," says a source. "We can't find him anywhere. He has not made contact with anyone. We are all just desperately looking for him. Everyone just wants him to come home. It's a terrible situation. We are searching, but we've had no solid leads." Best of luck to everyone involved. [E!]

Hilary Duff doesn't smoke cigarettes—she was just "holding it for a friend." Also, a dog ate her homework and she didn't ask to be born. [HuffPo]

Were you wondering what January Jones would look like with red hair? No? Well here is a pic anyway. People INSISTS. [People]

Kim Kardashian says that Kris Jenner put her on birth control at age 14 because she confided she was going to sex with her boyfriend. I guess I'm supposed to be outraged or something, but that sounds like kind of a good mom. [DailyMail]

Alec Baldwin wants to retire from acting and be a housewife: "I want to have a baby and stay home and make the pancakes before I send my wife out to work every day to pay the bills. I know it is a long shot, but that's the plan I'm sticking with right now." [DigitalSpy]

Heartless bitch Kate Winslet didn't drop everything to talk to some teenagers, because apparently she doesn't understand that WE OWN HER. [Radar]

Natalie Portman, her husband the Human Millipede, and their baybay went to France and walked around. [JustJared]

Patti Stanger (of Millionaire Matchmaker) is dating a new dude she met on the internet. "We want the same things and our deal breakers are the same—I think it just fell into alignment." Wanted: someone who is terrible. Deal breakers: not being terrible. [DigitalSpy]

"I think it is fine you are gay," said Britney Spears to a gay guy. [ONTD]

Ted Shuttleworth, some dude who wrote for NYPD Blue, was arrested Saturday for punching his poodle in the face until it died. 'KAY THEN. GOODNIGHT. [NYPost]