If you can't beat 'em, join 'em

'The Replacements' isn't good, but then what summer film has been?

Yeah, while we're having the worst wildfires in years, approaching the worst hurricane season in years, stuck in the middle of a 3-year-drought that's causing the greatest financial loss to farmers in years ... Hollywood studio powers-that-be thought, hey, they'd join the party and throw in the most horrible selection of summer movies in years.

There've been a couple worth the two hours out of the heat, but yeah, for the most part the pickin's been real slim.

Now, people were laughing during one of last week's openers, ''The Replacements,'' though it's nothing but a rehashed, recycled, regurgitated sports flick that's actually based on a true occurrence.

But wondering upon this re-phenomenon, I had to remind myself: people who go to this film aren't expecting anything original, anyway. So I sat back and tried to forget ''Major League,'' from which the plot was lifted; ''Any Given Sunday,'' from which the vomit-on-the-field scene was lifted and a handful of other films, most of which I'd rather forget anyway.

Keanu Reeves plays Shane Falco, a washed-up college quarterback who's had three concussions. (Perhaps the most perfect a role for him yet).

Shane's recruited by Jimmy McGinty (Gene Hackman, the quintessential on-screen coach) to play for the Washington ''Sentinels'' (read: Redskins) during the players strike of 1987 (that's the part of the movie that's based on a real occurrence, by the way).

Since Coach Jimmy has little to work with, he recruits an odd collection of fellows. Affectionately called ''scabs'' in the film, many are crooks and gamblers -- hey, just like real life! Actually, there were no murderers or wife beaters in the movie, so I guess it isn't entirely accurate.

Needless to say, the real Sentinels team that's on strike is very angry with the replacements and proceed to throw eggs at them and harass them and so on.

But since this is the group's moment of glory, their 15 minutes, their time to shine, they persevere. The team includes a Scottish soccer player (Rhys Ifans, the bloke-of-a-roommate in ''Notting Hill'') who reportedly can kick farther than any punter in the league and chain smokes cigarettes during games; a sumo wrestler (Ace Yonamine) who makes ''The Refrigerator'' look like Chris Rock's Little Penny); a psycho cop who has to tackle when he sees red (Jon Favreau, ''Swingers''); a former champion sprinter who now works in a convenience store (Orlando Jones); an inmate from the state prison (Michael Jace) who's granted a special parole for the NFL; and a scattering of other personalities.

Though they're all quite talented, they have trouble jelling as a team until they get into a barroom brawl with the striking Sentinels. Gathered together in a cell overnight, the fellas bond by line dancing to ''I Will Survive.'' It's a touching moment.

Then, just as in real life, the team starts a-winning, and the plot dissolves into an underdogs-to-victory flick that's quite predictable. But the film's collection of zany characters is comprised of likable actors who bring them all to life. And there's a good dose of comedy to boot.

Interspersed in the plot is an obligatory romance between Shane and a cheerleader (Brooke Langton), who plays captain to a squad full of striptease dancers -- providing necessary distractions for the opposing teams at all the right moments.

Though few would dare to place this football flick in the redeeming department in a summer full of bad flicks, it's entertaining enough amid so many that are barely watchable.

Wait, was that a favorable review?

Features editor Julie Phillips Jordan can be reached at jphillips@onlineathens.com or (706) 208-2221.