Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Pizza Strips

Pizza is good. generally speaking.....These things are, apparently a Rhode Island exclusive, kinda like Cincinnati chili & Goetta around here. The glaring difference is that Goetta & 5-ways are edible. OK, not everybody agrees on that. The picture above looks reasonable enough. Lemme tell ya, looks can be deceiving.First of all, you buy these things at gas stations. They are not in the cooler waiting to be microwaved. they are up at the cashier station in cellophane wrappers in canisters next to the Slim Jims and fobs & stuff. You don't cook 'em, you just open up the wrapper & chow down. There is no cheese on these things, no discernible spices. In fact the red stuff on top that looks (from a distance) like tomato sauce might very well be paint. Think 5 year old latex house paint.I love bread, but no saving graces there. It is thick, tough tasteless cardboard substitute.Now I like some nasty shit. Those pink snowball (?) Hostess things, LaChoy Chow Mein, Jeno's pizza rolls.....I have no idea how a taste for Pizza Strips are even acquired. It is the worst regional comfort food I have ever found in the U.S. They are so bad, Family Guy doesn't even make fun of 'em. Or maybe that's what the writers snack on, who knows ?If you have the taste & the craving, or if you just want to ruin somebody's party (these things are, apparently, a party staple in R.I.) you can buy 'em online, just click on the image above.

You need to buy them fresh from a bakery before you form an opinion. Buying that prepackaged crap at the gas station is something NO RI person would ever do. That is some nasty crap there. Fresh from a bakery = delicious.

Pizza strips from Calvito's in Narragansett, RI are to die for...don't knock it until you try it (And really- you bought something from a gas station and expected it to be good, really? Is that where you often buy authentic Cincinnati Chili?)

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