Audio of the police interview with Tiger Woods' neighbors.
(obamainterviews)

(Newser)
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Tiger Woods ended up snoring and shoeless on a neighbor's lawn after his SUV crashed into a tree, according to interviews released by investigators. Neighbors say they put a pillow under the golfer's head while wife Elin Nordegren stood by, CNN reports. "She was actually very quiet," a neighbor reported. "Just kind of in shock, you know, just kind of sitting there."

As for Woods, he "was actually snoring," said the neighbor, who told cops he smelled no alcohol on the golfer's breath. When the neighbor first emerged from his house, Nordegren was kneeling over a prone Woods, talking to him. She then turned to the neighbor and pleaded: "Can you please help me, can you please help me?" The neighbor's sister was initially awakened by a mysterious "faint, continuous knocking sound for about 15 minutes," she said.

Thank you for conceding the point at the very end of your post, after showing that you are aware that the earth is old. Good job. As for knowing anything about the climactic feedback systems that we fuck with everyday, you fail.

Kookey90

Dec 5, 2009 9:50 AM CST

I don't have to be a doctor to figure this one out. Pulling All Nighters with Rachel Uchitel and all his other girlfriends is finally taking it's toll on our poor friend Tiger; the boy's trying to catch ZZZzzz wherever he can.