Harvest Recipe

Months later, after ripening and fermentation, when the wee bubbie subsequently suggests making a “gravetomb” (preschooler speak for “tombstone”) to decorate the yard for Halloween, gently fold in the question, “What shall we paint on it? R.I.P?”

He will figure out, with scant 1/4 cupful dollops of explanation, what the R., the I., and the P. stand for, ultimately decreeing, “No, I don’t care if the people under the ground are left in their peaces. I know what we need to paint on it.”

With that, his half-baked idea will hit the jar:

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So for all of y’all who leave your porn propped open on the Fisher Price Rescue Hero Command Station, knock it off. Kids pick up what’s in the reading materials. They internalize it. They paint it on their gravetombs.

And wouldn’t it be a shame, this fine All Hallow’s Eve, to have the neighborhood reading on your yard’s gravetomb that “Hot sluts do it sideways”? Even telling passers-by, “Heck, my kid suggested it” won’t keep you from being regarded as the local Larry Flynt.

Keep it clean this Halloween, my dear ghoulfriends. Keep it clean.

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Published by Jocelyn

There's this game put out by the American Girl company called "300 Wishes"--I really like playing it because then I get to marvel, "Wow, it's like I'm a real live American girl who has 300 wishes, and that doesn't suck, especially compared to being a dead one with none."
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That’s adorable… has he made the acquaintance of Mo Willems’ Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus? Or perhaps the literary genius that is Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog? It’s required reading in my house and we’re all well over the recommended reading age…(I see there is a new one!! Don’t Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late… note to self, Christmas is right around the corner…)

We loves us some Knuffle Bunny, yes we do. We also must read those two pages 20 times each time we read the book, until we are both falling out of the chair. Lived we closer, you’d find that brilliant gravetomb mysteriously transplanted into our yard.