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Do You Want a Gifted or a Hard-Working Child?

Parenting: Do You Want a Gifted or Hard-Working Child?
presents an alternative way of thinking about parenting gifted kids. The author
of the article, Jim Taylor, notes that although "the world is full of
gifted failures," parents continue to "hope beyond hope that their
children are gifted."

Kids often feel the same way. According to Taylor, whenever
he asks a group of kids whether they would rather be gifted or hard working,
almost all of them say that they would rather be gifted. In their view, being
gifted means that that they are not only destined for success, they won't have
to work that hard for it either.

Hard work and perseverance are crucial components of success;
however, many people tend to negate the importance of hard work and practice
and instead believe that achievement is based on ability alone. This is a
dangerous misconception, particularly for gifted kids.

Because learning comes so easily to them when they are
young, gifted kids often fail to learn that there is an important link between
effort and outcome. They assume that their achievements are a result of their
natural ability and that, conversely, their failures are a result of their
ability, as well. As Taylor writes: "If gifted children attribute their
successes to their ability, when they fail—which they inevitably will sooner or
later—they must attribute their failures to their lack of ability (they must be
stupid or untalented)." Unfortunately, this kind of misguided thinking can
lead kids to give up on a task prematurely because they fear that they aren't
good enough. They don't understand that effort is just as important to success
as ability.

If these kids continue to succeed with limited effort, they
will eventually find themselves in an environment (such as a selective college
or university) where nearly everyone is gifted. As Taylor writes: "At this
point, giftedness isn't what ultimately determines who becomes truly
successful. What separates those children who are simply gifted from those who
are gifted and successful is whether they possess the skills to maximize their
gifts. Unfortunately, these children will find that their inborn talent is no
longer sufficient to be successful. Because everything comes so easily to them,
many never learn the skills—hard work, persistence, patience, perseverance,
discipline—that will enable them to become truly successful."

Taylor even goes so far as to say that parents should not
tell their children that they’re gifted because it will put an unnecessary
burden upon them. As Taylor writes: "Instead of emphasizing your
children's giftedness, you should talk to them about the attitudes and skills—which
are under their control—that they will need to fully realize their
talents." Taylor also believes that we should not tell a child that he or
she has great potential because having potential means that a youngster has
done nothing yet. Potential implies eventual adult success, and, as Taylor
writes, we are simply not very good at predicting who will become successful in
life.

According to Dr.Anders Ericcson, a professor at Florida State University who has studied expert performance in
sports, music, mathematics, and other activities, the single greatest predictor
for success is how many hours a person has practiced an activity. The more
hours one practices, the better he or she is. (Remember the 10,000 hours rule
that Malcolm Gladwell championed in his book, Outliers? That rule is
based on a study that Ericcson conducted. According to the 10,000 hours rule,
it takes approximately 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to achieve mastery.)
As Taylor writes: "Hard work means children putting in the necessary time,
sticking with it when it's not always fun, persevering in the face of setbacks
and failures, and developing all of the skills necessary to become
successful."

And so now we have one more way of looking at the
capabilities and possibilities of young people. Be sure to check out the
comments section at the bottom of Taylor's article for an ongoing discussion of
his viewpoints.

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About Me

I am the author of Raising a Gifted Child: A Parenting Success Handbook and former author of the popular Prufrock's Gifted Child Information Blog.
I continue to offer the best strategies and resources for parents and teachers of gifted young people.
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