menu

Pages

Sunday, May 30, 2004

SECOND SPINOFF!

I now have a second spin off! This is exciting. Yesterday my friend Niki moved in and started a blog of her own.

As she blogs, my book shelf collapsed, my cell phone dropped in the can, and i probably managed to have a third fuck up along the way that I forgot to take note of, because, things happen in threes, right?

I went to Misshapes last night to dance and dance some more. I ended up staying until 4:15 am cause the DJs were just pumping out the hits. Anytime "Violet" by Hole gets played, you know you can't go -- not just yet.

I met Andrew, the bassist of Pitty Sing, last night. Told him how much I fucking loved his EP and apologized for the not-so-pleasant review I once gave his band's live show. The EP is really fucking good and I wish them the best of luck. I suggest you get it asap. Or at least check out any song clips on their site. They're kinda like Frankie Goes To Hollywood-ish... and i mean that in a really good way.

Right now Lindsay is playing OK Computer. I fucking love that album more then ... stuff.

Saturday, May 29, 2004

I'M NOT OKAY

Go to My Chemical Romance's website to see their new video for "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" (it's in the pop-up window by the way). You can also hear about 3 of their new songs, and I'd like to recommend "Helena." That song is unbelievably good. Umm... I should probably warn you that MCR is what some might call "Extremo" ... only really really really good and people who like Muse might actually appreciate them.

Friday, May 28, 2004

EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT

It's friday and memorial day weekend and I want to go home. So I wont be able to give a full and chunky recap of last night. I saw The Bravery last night at Arlene's Grocery. It was the last show of their month-long residencey and the place was PACKED with industry. So much so, that I had to sneak in when the door person turned her back, and my friend Paul had to sneak in by going through the backstage entrance. Karen and Jenny couldn't even get in. From what I over heard, there were 75 industry names on the list, including label presidents and I recognized half the A&R guys in there from back when I was managingbands. So you're probably wondering what they sounds like... right?

OK, so they're basically very similar to The Killers. There are three mp3s on the site that you can listen to that are really great. Anyway, watching them, with thier Tears for Fears hair, Adam Ant haircut, I felt like I was my brother in 1986 or something. Not bad and no complaints coming from this blogger... I gotta wonder tho, was this frenzy caused by the expected success of the Killers?

Anyway, it's interesting to see how waves of music travel.

After that, Paul and I hopped over to Bar 13 where I was DJing for the 4th Anniversary party. Photos Here. I caught some of the Unisex Salon show, and they were ALSO very great. It was like a great night of random rockshows!

I played tunes and tried to dance and get into it, but a sort of situation was in front of me that made me sort of not in the mood. It might've actually been accented by the Red Bull i drank before arriving (which i tried to counter act with two beers... that didn't do the trick). I also found myself leaving richer then when I arrived ... which was without a cent to my name, so i was pretty happy. However some girl tried to beat me up when she saw me and Greg dancing. I had no choice but to laugh. I wasn't about to shed any blood on the dance floor, and I'm a good fighter. Anyway, I don't want anymore drama in my life, certainly not any of the physical variety.

There are like a thousand other elements to this story that include pinky swear promises that were forgotten moments later and you know, things of that variety that sent me running out of the club by a 2:45. Tis a pity since I was having a fucking great time and Michael T was spinning a killer set.

I'm still trying to process last night. Once it's been through the head about 94 times, i'll be able to blog. The strange thing about me is that I never over analyze anything. I'm like a dude that way... but sometimes your nights present something that's very confusing.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

This morning was one of those mornings when I woke up and looked at the ceiling thinking "Where does this story begin? How did i get here?" To be honest, I wrote that sentence a few hours ago and have the worst case of ADD today that I just haven't been able to write beyond that line. Now I've had a cup of coffee and am gonna try my best.

So I forced Karen to drop her plans and join me for the Living Things/Velvet Revolver show at Roseland that night. Her plans, previously, had consisted of going to BBKings to see the singer of Squeeze perform an acoustic set. As if she reallly wanted to do that! So after work I went with the co-workers to Passerby in the art district for send-off drinks for those who have decided to leave SPIN. I decided to make it an "exception night" and had a couple of beers and a half hour later i was on my way to the show with my editor, Doug, to meet up with Karen.

You know how in the 4 questions of the Haggedah you ask "why is this night different from any other?" (well, you might not know if you're not a jew, but we ask that). Well, Karen and I stood around asking just that. There we were in a venue we both know all too well, and yet, there was not a single familiar face in the house. Thankfully, I was already sauced and hyper from the beer and redbull i had ingested that i sort of bounced off the walls.

The main reason I went to the show was to see my friend Eve's band, The Living Things. I hadn't seen them since they opened for the Libertines back in the summer when Barry was still 19. Doug had seen them at CBGBs a couple weeks earlier and said it was one of the best rock shows he's ever seen, so I was like "hot damn! i'm coming!" i mean "I'm going!" or whatever. Their show was great and Lillian, Eve's brother (btw, Eve is a dude as well, and their brother who plays drums is named Bosh), is a great frontman. He stripped off his shirt and performed topless much to mine and Karen's pleasure, and even brought out a couple of ladies dressed in lingerie and Bush and Rumsfeld masks who started to dry hump each other on stage while Lillian took a gun shaped lighter and lit a photo of the President, during which he urged the audience to not vote for Bush. To give you an idea of what the crowd was like, some meathead started calling Lillian the "n" word (which is beyond bizarre for many reasons including the awfulness of that word and the fact that the only thing black about Lillian is his clothing and maybe his ability to grow a jew-fro). Anyway, that audience member is a retarded pussy who refused Lil's request for him to come on stage and duke it out. This dude's friends were beyond embarrassed according to band members who saw the whole thing from stage. The thing I didn't like about the show, which wasn't the band's fault, was that you could hardly hear them. Apparently the VR didn't want the openers to be louder then them.

Karen and I walked around a bit, did a bit of people watching, and I spotted someone who looked really familiar. "Hey look!" I said to Karen, "It's the singer of the Charlatans UK!" I went up to see if it was him. He said no. I walked away thinking "that's so weird, it looked just like him." Um... Yeah, i'm a total douche. It was the singer of the Stereophonics and I totally got the bands confused. Yeah, guess who's a fucking retard. Me.

Anyway...

So the Velvet Revolver took to the stage and Weiland, who is undeniably hot as fucking hell, came out dressed like the gay police officer from the Village People and started doing his snake dance. Karen and I spotted this dude walking around with the tightest pants ever, cowboy boots, and a furry jacket with no shirt on underneath. He looked like the love child of Justin Hawkins of the Darkness and Rob Harvey of the Music AND Slash. I ran over to him so i could get a photo with him cause his look was just too unbelievable, and he was more then excited to pose with us. The boy was created to be photographed... and the boy had a sort of business card that was his photo and web address. The boy's name was Lips Velvet. Please check out his website so you have an idea of what the fuck i'm talking about.

After I posed with Mr. Velvet, Eve came to get me and Karen to bring us to the VIP area, but Karen decided that she had enough of the Velvet Revolver and decided to head down to the east village for the Radio4 listening party at HiFi where she canoodled with famous hipsters and tried to convert them all to H.I.M.... meanwhile, I failed at turning down Eve's offers of alcoholic beverages (he's like "I KNOW FOR A FACT that you have "exception" nights for your drinking. I read your blog. This is one of those nights. Now what do you want?" bless that boy). I danced like a snake with the LivingThings as we freaked out whenever the VR played G'n'R songs or STP songs... and especially when they covered Nirvana's "Negative Creep." Does Tommy Hillfiger have a brother who looks exactly like him? Cause if so, he was there with Michael H, who is NEVER without his sunglasses apparently. Also, Cory, who is not a Berlin Brother but from St. Louis and in the Living Things, looks exactly like a younger and healthier version of Scott Weiland. It was uncanny. He's officially the New Cory. As in, move over Corey Haim and Feldman, there's a new Cory in town and he spells his name without the e.

After the show I went with the Brothers Berlin to the Hotel Gansevoort for the Clive Davis/Velvet Revolver party. We loaded up on the booze and chased the dudes down who were carrying plates of food since we're all broke and I forgot to eat dinner that night. The party seemed like something out of a Hollywood party and so i drank to forget where I was. Whenever I go to these events, the record company parties, I'm like, "oh, i really dont belong here." and wait patiently for someone to realize that I've crashed the party and kick me out. They never did. I swear, the next time i attend a party on that deck, and it's above 80 degrees, i'm jumping in the pool with all my clothes on. Up until now, NYC just hasn't really bought into that whole "hey, my name is mr. weather, i'm gonna be hot now," instead, i've been wearing lots of layers.

Justine D showed up and brought some of her own personal sunshine. It's always lovely to see her! When we were all fed up with the free food and booze we all hopped in cabs and headed off to Plaid, which was really empty, and i gave up and went home leaving the kids dressed in black to wander the streets alone in the rain.

The end.

By the way, I just got the Sons&Daughters EP and it's really fucking great. I guess the songs I downloaded off the internet just didn't do their recording a lot of justice because the EP totally captures the live show really well. I mean, you dont get to see a quartet of half really hot boys and half really hot girls singing and dancing while you listen to it, but it's close enough. They're gonna tour with Franz Ferdinand, so be sure to check them out.

The Killers were on MTV a couple days ago as a You Hear it First. I haven't been able to find the link to the segment, but if you go to their website you can see their music videos. I'm going to a prom with Mark Killers. I'm excited!

If Dan Marcus were still in high school, he would've jumped on a plane to find this gigantic mushroom.

Someone thinks that Damon Albarn is a cunt. They may or may not be right, but either way, he's still fucking hot.

Rob from Morning Theft has gotten me into the Sheila Divine again. Please check out their song "Hum" by going here. In fact, the whole album is really good... I just really love that song a lot.

I'm DJing a party tonight, here's the info. please come. Here's an email i got from Michael T about the event, which has all the info you need:

Ladies & Gentlemen-

I'd like to invite each and everyone of you to the 5 Year Anniversary Bash
of Broadcast @Bar 13 this thursday, starting at 10pm. This is definitely a
milestone
in my "career" it is...right?. Anyway, come out, be merry and of course get
shitfaced!

Maya, a chimpanzee at Jerusalem's Biblical Zoo, holds her twin babies born two days ago in Jerusalem May 24, 2004. Israeli zookeepers suspected some monkey business only after Maya, a 24-year-old chimpanzee, suddenly gave birth to twins despite an apparent lack of virile mates. The happy event at Jerusalem's Biblical Zoo caught everyone by surprise: nobody had noticed Maya was pregnant and Og and Gremlin, the only adult males among 11 chimps at the facility, were sterilized years ago, a zoo official said Tuesday. (Gil Cohen Magen/Reuters)

Oh sweet and tender hooligans, our Patron Saint of Mope has debut on the charts at #11!

According to Marc Spitz, who not only wrote a novel about trying to reunite the Smiths but also wrote the AMAZING COVER STORY THAT APPEARS IN THE MAGAZINE WHICH PAYS MY BILLS, the album charted higher than Lenny Kravitz' jawn. You know why? It's because Lenny is fucking boring and repetitive and Morrissey is awesome. He's so much awesome. And according to America, he's so much more awesome than Lenny Kravitz. Hey Katie Couric, maybe you should've had the Mozzer play on the Today Show so my ears didn't have to be assulted in the morning.

Jason Roth is gonna be a daddy in a few months and rumor has it, he's naming his baby Apple. In other Jason Roth news, he sent me this email last night regarding Adam Ant:
check out "ant muzak," which follows adam and the ants to the supermarket. note that the night manager is actually ex-ant gary tibbs. be sure to play the full version (the last one):

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

FLOAT ON... OKAY

Hello Sarah, welcome to 10 weeks ago. So you're just sort of discovering how fucking amazing the Modest Mouse album is because your new roommate has it playing in her room whenever you stumble in from drunken nights. "Float On" is the song the Walkmen could've written if they had a pow-wow with Built to Spill. Hey Sarah, maybe if you play it like, 40 times in a row, you can turn back time and actually be "ahead of the curve" instead of running after it. Love, your music conscious.

So my blog seems to not work. Not sure what's happening, but i'm gonna update it anyway...just incase.

Friday, after shabbat dinner I went to the Squeezebox anniversary because i heard the Courtney Love was performing. I met up with Jake, Marc and his lovely girlfriend and my roommate, Elizabeth (she aint got a blog). The scene at Don Hills wasn't short of trannies. I was watching them enter the room as if they were the returning royalty and i began picturing what they were doing an hour early. I imagined them dusting off their wigs that they hadn't worn since the last Squeezebox about 4 or 5 years ago, squeezing themselves into their sequined gowns, pouting because their eyelash glue is clumpy. I sort of found myself happy that i didn't run around in a Tranny scene. I've got nothing agains them, I just don't know if i could keep up. I felt intimidated and scared by their posing and bodyparts here and there and everywhere. I felt like i was 18 and at Squeezebox... cept i was 24 and overwhelmed. This is why my parents keep me home on fridays.

Saturday I slept in until a pathetic 4:15pm. I woke up with a killer headache and a sense of "fuck, i know it's late. i just know it." I checked my phone and had a bunch of messages from people I was supposed to meet up with and totally flaked on. I felt like crap. The problem with sleeping in my parents house is that my bedroom slowly chokes me at night. I woke up in the morning gasping for air, and this is despite the fact that I was sleeping next to a window that was open.

My dad gave my mom the impression that our house is haunted. I tell my mom that he's full of shit, but to be honest, I sort of agree with him. I'm constantly fearing that if i turn around there will be some sort of figure standing there staring at me. I feel a presense in my room sometimes and it scares the shit out of me. If I wake up in the middle of the night I try hard to not move or open my eyes. I know this is really pathetic and silly, but I guess i'm just pathetic and silly at times.

My mom found my sparawled on the couch at 4:17pm, two minutes after i woke up. I had taken tylenol pm the night (or rather morning before since i couldnt get to bed until 6 am), and literally staggered down the stairs to the phone so i could call the people I was supposed to see that day and apologize. My mom said I looked really peaceful while sleeping. Probably cause I was drugged out of my mind and being suffocated by the ghost that lives in our house.

Saturday night I met up with Chow at the Morning Theft show. That band is just getting better and better and Rob is a totally great singer. I can't wait to see them perform again, and I'm gonna be sure to post the show here once i find out.

After that show we all headed over to JennyPenny's house for a bit of prepartying and while everyone intended to head over to Misshapes, many didn't hop on the bus and were still at her apt at 5am when I came round to see what was going on (I woke up a 4pm that day, so it was like, 8pm for me). Misshapes was fun as always. Everyone danced around, jumped around, made out. At one point GregTheBoyfrriend and I were dancing and he said he couldn't make out with me cause he was sick... moments later I was dancing with him again and saw his face covered in red lipstick. The ladies can't keep their paws off the boy these days.

If somebody could please remind me what I did Sunday I'd really appreciate it.

thanks!
sarah

update:
dear sarah,

on sunday you came to my house. we didnt eat m&ms because fatty had eaten them all already. fatty being me. and you the week before. we got very very very emblazened and watched... something. blue velvet. thats what it was. we got hungry, contemplated going to the west village for ice cream covered donuts, but instead got that delicious food on avenue b. then you got papped. not smeared. papped by a drummer. remember? member, member that time in that movie when you blew something out? that was awesome.

love, the other half of your brain

anotherupdate:
dear sarah,

after karen's you went and saw a movie with big brother brian and you were almost not allowed in the theater for being "too high" to watch a children's movie.

Friday, May 21, 2004

GO WILD IN THE CITY

Some days you just really need to listen to lots of Bow Wow Wow and Adam and the Ants. I suggest both of these bands for days when you're feeling a bit low, or a bit tired, or a bit uninspired. They're essentially the same exact bands, but with different singers. I'm not joking, they're literally the same band with different singers. So if you're like, in the mood for a dude singing, pop in Adam. If you're in the mood for a girl singing, pop in Anabel. Good times!

So this curbing of my drinking went pretty reasonably well last night. Started off the evening with dinner at the Spotted Pig to celebrate my gorgeous boss' birthday. I had a wee bit of champagne to celebrate, followed by a glass of wine. After dinner I went over to the Slipper Room to celebrate Andy and Alex's birthday where I had 1 and a half beers -- half of one of them was poured over my head during "girls just wanna have fun" -- my hair was very sticky, but now it's got an undeniable shine to it. OK, maybe it's just shiny cause i finally washed it.

So, Lindsay has been living with me for like, three weeks, and it's been really fucking fun. We'll probably have a roof-top BBQ sometime very soon. Maybe even tomorrow. Maybe Sunday. Maybe next week. Alls i know is our roof is the fucking shit.

The Killers were on Carson last night and I totally dropped the ball on that one. Sorry.

By the way, I got dragged to the Strokes show the other day by Lizzy. I see things like this (and i know my rationalization is really FUCKING RETARDED, but i never claimed to be anything but really FUCKING RETARDED): Just like the Smiths vs. the Cure, Blur vs. Oasis, I see something along the lines of Interpol vs. The Strokes. So I've chosen Interpol. I appreciate the Strokes. I enjoy dancing to them. When I first heard the Strokes in 2000 or 2001 i was really excited and danced around my room while listening to "Barely Legal." But like, when i first heard Interpol (before the strokes) in 2000 or maybe earlier, i was moved. I was thrown against the wall and beaten to a pulp and happy for it. This is why i say i was dragged to the Strokes show. Anyway, it was great and Julian talked a shit load, which pleased me a lot since he's actually funny at times -- despite being totally slurred at times. Anyway, Mazel Tov to Juliet.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

I just want to make one thing clear: when I tell the cab story, he's always mentioned. It's essential that he is because otherwise there are huge gaps in the story. However, I DO usually refer to him only as "my friend Greg" rather then "Greg Lindsay" because it never occurred to me to do otherwise -- this is where the whole editing part usually stems from.

Unless I tell the story when drunk. Then it's just "i shared a cab with bowie and our thighs touched the end."

If you're in NYC tonight and wanna party with a bunch of writer people who are celebrating their birthday, please come to the SLIPPER ROOM tonight after 10pm and until 4am. Buy lots of drinks. Dance to skilled DJs. Discover secret rooms!

ASOBI SEKSU!

Greg the b/f emailed me a couple weeks ago demanding to know why nobody told him how fun Asobi Seksu was live. Now you can watch their video by going HERE. It's like the sixth one down. Please watch it. That way they can be put into rotation at UMTV or MTVU or whatever it's called.

This is what I'm gonna look like tonight when I DJ the party that i listed above. Thank you to "Anonymous" for posting the link:

On saturday i went to Andy"s for a BBQ with Lindsay. The discussion turned to the effects drusg vs. alcohol has on the brain. Before I continue, I should mention that Andy is a Scientist and goes to medical school and knows these things. Anyway, Andy has no reason to tell me the truth about drugs vs. alochol effects on the brain other then I might it interesting. We were drinking beers and he was telling me that Alchohol has the worst effect on the brain. That in a brain scan, and doctor can tell you if you're an alcoholic and that the effects are not only irreversable but also permanant (which i guess is the same thing). Alcohol has a harsher effect on the brain then pot, E, coke, and heroin -- because at least with those drugs, your brain can go back to normal after a short amount of time (the effects of E are still up in the air).

So it was with this information that i decided that i really needed to curb my lifestyle. I know i tried it in the past, but before I didn't feel like my reasons were backed with enough scientific reasoning. I stopped drinking because it was expensive and i was making a fool of myself when drunk. I stopped drinking because i wound up with inexplicable cuts and bruises. I stopped drinking because my family were threatening AA and rehab.

But then i started drinking again. The money problem was sorted with my decision to only drink when someone else is buying. The other problems were fixed by drinking a little less or being careful of who i drink with so that they could expect and maybe enjoy my drunken behavior.

Now i'm going to curb my alcohol reason for medical reasons.

I haven't had a drink since saturday, and while i'm not gonna stop drinking all together, i WILL reinstate my "drinking only on two nights a week" rule. Tomorrow will be on of those days, presumably, since i'm attending two birthday parties and djing one, but friday and sunday will be sober days.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

"At the end of a long day, the student simians relax by watching the Food Network, newscasts, cartoons and even at times wildlife network Animal Planet "although it's very scary to some of them," said Judi Zazula, executive director of Helping Hands."

I've been asked to participate in the WYSIWYG Talent Show tonight along with my roommate Lindsay Robertson, and several other lovely ladies of the nerd. It's at PS122 and begins at 7:30.

I'm reading first cause i need to leave early so i can shoot something for CNN Headline news. So if you're not in NYC and want to be able to throw rotten food at a projected image of me, you can do that at exactly 9:15 EST by turning on your TV.

Monday, May 17, 2004

SO MUCH AWESOME

Alright, so I've been home all day long and while not watching Fuse or Before Sunrise, I've been watching "The Family Guy" Volume 1 DVD boxset. This thing is seriously the best thing a person could own. If you're trying to think of what to buy your friend for their birthday, i highly recommend this. Hours and hours of fun. You don't even need to be stoned to enjoy it!

I know that it might be really super uncool of me to totally fucking love Gwen and Chris Martin, but I think they make an adorable couple and their baby, Apple, is gonna grow up to be a totally upstanding knockout. Throughout her pregnancy, Gwen looked picturesque and Chris was a total doting husband/father-to-be. What isn't there to admire about that? Also, Chris is just a really nice guy. He's like the type of guy you're happy to have around, but don't necessarily make plans with because you think he's doing something way more fun and would think that what you're doing is so lame, but it's actually just all in your head and he really wishes you'd call him every once in a while to make plans to go to the park or something. Gwen is sort of that pretty girl who is friends of a friend and you remember every conversation you've ever had with her and what she was wearing at the time.

I'm home sick today and have been watching loads of TV and finding out some interesting things:

One of the twins from Sweet Valley High is totally on a teeth whitening commerical.

They played a Grandaddy song on the Today Show this morning.

Honda is using a Ween song from The Mullusk (sp?) album and nobody's said anything? I've been like dancing around my room whenever it's on, and i refuse to believe that nobody else noticed it.

To those who felt like everyone knew about the beheadding of Berg and didn't think I needed to bring it up in my blog, i'd like to point out that there are people in Germany that don't know that they need to have sex in order to have babies.

Oh, and wanna party on May 20?? Alex Pappademas and Andy Greenwald from SPIN Magazine are having a birthday party on May 20 at the Slipper Room. I'm gonna be DJing it for a bit and have been told that I could invite people. Consider this the invite.

If you wanna know what they want for their birthdays here are some ideas:
Andy likes the following stuff: emo, clever comic books, video games, and 'shrooms.
Alex likes the following stuff: digital cameras, the fall, and lsd.

you dont have to buy them gifts. just show up. dance. drink. be hedonistic. watch people you read the words of drink more than you and never pass out.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

GREG THE BOYFRIEND

The wonderful Greg The Boyfriend just updated his blog. There's more to the story then what's up there just yet (depending on when you read this update), including strippers and more strippers. So keep checking back with him.

Until then, i've been getting requests for what he looks like. So here's a couple of friendster photos.

Come to tonight's Misshapes and contribute to the "Save Courtney Love" fund that the promoters decided to start. All earnings from tonight's event -- all of them -- will be put into an envelope and dropped off at her apartment.

Friday, May 14, 2004

I know I hype every band fronted by a pretty face (or at least most of them) who sound like they spend all day listening to the Smiths and Joy Division, but like, when the Killers album becomes available you're all gonna be singing along. Until then, you can buy an EP of theirs on iTunes for "Somebody Told Me" -- which I promise will make your ass move.

I repeat, this is not a Killers fansite. I just like the band a lot and want to have 10,000 of their babies.

This morning when I went to the "Cold Pizza" taping i brought the new issue of Star Magazine with the Olsen twins on the cover and said "i want mary-kate's makeup please." Mission accomplished! I also dropped the obvs bomb since I knew that Uncle Grambo was watching.

Unbelievably, Muse's Absolution is on the soundscan chart this week... at #196, which blows my mind. I honestly didn't think anyone else listened to them other than me and the people who sit 10 feet from me and have to listen to me blasting "Apocalypse Please" all day long.

OK, this weekend's buzz:
The Olsen Twins are on SNL with R.Kelly. Fantastic booking.

Nate the ex-roommate's band, Modern, is performing at Luna lounge sunday. They sound like Sunny Day Real Estate meets Radiohead and Nate is a total hottie.

And tonight, Colder is playing at Rothko (rivington and suffolk on the lower east side). I can't find the link to their site, but they sound like early new order mixed with joy division and Alex Chow blew a load when he heard them saying they sounded like "every band i ever liked from the 80s rolled into one." let's hope their live show is hot.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Anyway, got a haircut (finally) at Whistle. I'd been told to go there by a shit load of people and finally Karen gave me the number and the name of the dude she goes to. I know that Interpol goes there, and i'll do anything they do cause they're the best band and I want to be them and have 10,000 of their babies. I ended up getting only a trim cause my hair stylist liked my long hair a lot. I hadn't cut my hair since last july and when he was snipping away i suggested he just hack it off and give me a mohawk. He said he'd do it next time. I'm sick of my hair.

After the hair cut I started walking home and ran into Lindsayism and TMFTML (whom i sort of refuse to call by his real name) outside of the Magician on Rivington. We had a drink and then popped into Rothko for Audrey's party. $2 PBR! Hot damn! Not that it matters -- I made a new rule that I will only drink when others are buying. Thankfully, Brian was my sugar daddy for the night.

After listening to the always amazing Rob Sheffield and Dennis Cahlo DJ, I headed over to the Hole with Brian and Sarah Wilson to see Sera DJ. I only stayed for about a half hour tho cause that played has cooties. Brian was nice enough to walk me home and I didn't even have to put out! Score!

Anyway, that was a boring post. Sorry. I've got nothing interesting happening... oh... I did accidently bust in on Lindsay the roommate last night and she had not top on. She's officially a member of apartment 3A.

What's happened to Iraqi prisoners in the hands of some American soldiers is so beyond shameful and disgusting and inhumane. I'm so sad to be not only an American but also a human. It's a two sided game apparently, with Al Qaida seeking revenge.

I just learned of (a) decapitation(s) that occured and have been STRONGLY advised to not watch the video. My sources tell me that the video is of "Al Qaida making this guy give his personal information into a camera... then thwack. no more head."

In case you're masochistic or you're from a news organization and need to watch the video, go here but DO NOT WATCH IT UNLESS YOU HAVE TO. Please listen to me. YOU CAN'T WATCH THE VIDEO unless you must for a very important reason and not just out curiosity.

I know this site is usually about the most retarded stuff in the world and I'm usually being very silly about things, but this time I am begging you to not watch the video UNLESS YOU MUST. I'm not putting this up and saying "don't watch" in hopes that you do actually eat it and taste from the apple of knowledge. I'm putting this up incase you happen to read my blog and also happen to work at some sort of new organization of some sort. If you dont believe me about not watching this...

Some comments people I know have said about it:
"Dear God that was the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life
I don't even know what to say. I don't care, no liberal can defend this or say shit about it. That is one fucked up culture."

"the video is absolutley horrendous. I absolutley recommend not watching it."

"this cannot be reiterated enough. do not watch that."

"if i had known it would've been that bad i would've heeded the warning label."

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

MY WEEKEND WAS PRETTY TYPICAL, HOW WAS YOURS?

It's about fucking time i got my shit together and posted about my weekend! Started shit off on friday at the Lewitinn Residence in Tenafly where I rocked out with the G to the O to the D. My mom just got surgery and she refuses to take her oxycodone after I told her that it's equivalent to heroin and she should be careful. Now, I realize that it was so refuckingtarded of me to say that since she's been moaning in pain for days. Man, and she could've been in such a cool rehab center with all those famous people! I'm joking of course. I just want her to get better so she can get back in the kitchen where women belong.

OK, so Saturday was so much awesome. I DJed my first ever wedding -- which was totally the best thing I've ever done. Played a bit of the 50s stuff and jazz for the older folks, duran duran and madonna for the younger kids, but easily the most incredible moment -- that was thankfully captured on tape by Raphael the Boyfriend -- was when, my third song in, I dropped the Yeah Yeah Yeah's "Maps" bomb and got to watch about 20 couples stop dancing and turn to me with a look of "holy shit, what the fuck do we do." and then watch 10 of those couples, all older, decide to ballroom dance to it. It was the most exciting experience of my life. I can't wait to DJ my next wedding... no idea when that'll be. Anyway, many thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Hildenberger for inviting me to DJ their wedding! Mazel Tov!

By the way, Raphael is gonna digitize the video for me so I can post it on my blog. I can't fucking wait.

After the wedding I headed over to Misshapes to participate in the first ever TARTS OF PLEASURE VS. DEATH & DESTRUCTION DJ BATTLE! Despite the photo (click her for larger image), I didn't actually get a black eye since DJ's Death & Destruction are total fucking pussies and I kicked their asses twice with the help of my trusty dancer KarenPlusOne. Uncle Grambo will be sad to hear that I didn't repeat this buzz cause i was wearing an expensive dress. But I guess karma is a bitch since Alex Chow, i mean DJ Death (or Destruction?) accidently spilled half of his really sweet and sticky drink on my head when my friend Ben dipped me while dancing. It was hilarious and my hair was totally "Something About Mary" in the morning... minus the spunk.

The word in the girls room was:
girl one: i think the girls one.
*sniff*
girl two: thanks, hey do you want some? I think they won too.
*sniff*
girl three: yeah, thank you. i think the boys are pussies.
*sniff*

I guess they started showing Michael Caine movies in the bathroom.

Anyway, I managed to make out with more boys then a girl should. I guess those are the perks of being the DJ.

Sunday was Mothers Day and it took an army of phone calls to wake me up. Clinton Street Bakery finally got me out of bed so I could have their FUCKING AMZING Huevos Rancheros. People, if you haven't tried these yet and you live in nyc, you must hop in a cab on saturday morning and get this IMMEDIATELY. After brunch I went to the UWS to go DVD shopping with my homobro for my mom and then we went back to Tenafly so I could hear my mom complain about not buying her flowers.

Yesterday I went to check out the Cardigans at Bowery and had the delightful pleasure of not only seeing Johnathan Rice perform, but also witness Lindsayism's first J.Rice show. She fucking loved him, and I fucking loved him. Then Aqualung played and I was floored. Lindsay left and Johnathan plied me with more JesusJuice then Michael Jackson would advise is appropriate. He nearly had to hold me up during the Cardigan's slightly disappointing set of new songs. My friend Steve was nice enough to drive me home where I discovered that when you puke red wine, it come out looking really fucking cool in your toilet. Purple is my favorite color. What a pleasure!

Oh, I nearly forgot to mention that Karen made me a fantastic mix cd called: The KarenPlusOne Guide to Liking Zeppelin Even If You're a PostPunk-Phile who Wants To Give Morrissey a Hand Job.

Bummed she left out "Immigrant Song" but I totally loved it none-the-less. She made it for me after I revealed to her, that much like Brandon Flowers of the Killers, the only music that I really recognized pre-1978 were the Beatles and RollingStones. I'm stupid, i know, so sue me.

And Greg the Boyfriend shared this lovely tidbit with me after I revealed to him that he's one of the best kissers in the history of kissers: "I kissed some woman that I grabbed on the street and
made dance with me in the rain. after we danced, I picked her up honeymoon
style and sat her on a newspaper stand and kissed her, to which she screamed
"you just Frenched me!" then I smiled, got in a cab and went away. She was
smiling when I looked back."

Some of you heard I was having a party this weekend. It was technically a SPIN party, but unfortunately it had to be postponed until June. So please don't show up at my house cause I'm not gonna be home. I will let you all know when the next party is happening. Watch this space.

Friday, May 7, 2004

TA DA!

OK, this is my last post of the day -- or at least for the next few hours.

For what it's worth, everything I learned about modern-boys I learned from Andy dePunk. Many months ago I flirted with him, he laid down the "how to flirt properly with boys" law, and it's worked out really fucking well for the most part. At first when I read his email i was like "is he serious?" and asked Brian "Is he for real? This is how you guys are?" When he confirmed Andy's revelation I promptly deleted the phone numbers of boys I was persuing, or rather, hoping to be persued by. This story could go on, but then it'd venture on really personal territory and while I feel alright talking about my drinking and narcotic habits and making outs and interests in burying my face in the underaged and freckled breasts of Lindsay Lohan, I strangely don't feel comfortable talking about my actual love life. I never thought there'd be a day when I'd want to have at least one secret.

Maybe you'll have a Mermaid Baby. OK, that's not funny. I'm not laughing. I'm just informing you guys that a baby was born and this baby resembles a mermaid. This baby is adorable.

I'm always teased about the time I was on MTV2's "22 Greatest Bands" proclaiming my total love for Linkin Park. Well, fuck y'all. Yesterday I got to interview Chester Bennington (the white dude who sings and looks emo). Our interview was supposed to be 10 minutes but we started geeking out on Placebo together and it lasted an hour.

I also spoke to Wayne from the Flaming Lips for a half hour today about life in a bubble. He was quite nice and friendly andwe talked about Radiohead. I like it when rock stars holla to their significant others while i'm on the phone with them. I feel like they're letting me in on something really personal in their life, when in reality, they're like "yo, what was the name of that festival?"

Lindsayism, my new roommate who doesn't seem to mind living with me yet, noted that MKOlsen is rocking the same eye makeup that I used to rock and have recently ressurected. My brother said that MKO and I both look alike cause we look like monkeys. Between her, the singer of the killers, and Brian from Placebo [see below], i really dont mind looking like a girl. Certainly not an incredibly skinny and wealthy monkey.

Now, for those of you who plan on seeing "A New York Minute" this weekend, and are wondering "Sarah, you're so drunk, have you forgotten to post a review of the movie?" My answer is yes. I am so drunk that i've forgotten. But actually, I'm also not sure this movie is for everyone. It's not like "Freaky Friday" where the story line is really thick and thoughtful, but it's also not like "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" where it's totally lacking any sense. It's a big budgeted Olsen movie that is full of sexual ennuendo, really hot twins, loads of b-list cameos, and silly girlie playfulness. It's not the best movie of all time. It's not the worst. It's a drinking film. So here is the:

UNOFFICIAL NEW YORK MINUTE DRINKING GAME

1 SHOT: Everytime it's suggested that Jane (Ashley Olsen) is naked.
1 SHOT: For every sexual ennuendo.
1 SHOT: For every b-list celebrity cameo
1 SHOT: For every b-list reoccuring character
1 SHOT: For every time the name SIMPLE PLAN is uttered
-1 SHOT: For every time you want to do something really inappropriate to either twin.

You'll leave the movie totally sober with that last one up there. Sorry dudes. It's official. You want to bang 17 year old twins. I mean, who doesnt?!

Before heading over to MISSHAPES to see the most over-rated DJ battle of the century, head over to the Knitting Factory to witness the debut of The Morning After. In case any of you were at the Darkness show at Irving plaza a few months ago when Justin Hawkins was outshined by a boy on someone's shoulders doing his best Mick Jagger... it was the singer of the Morning After. Go see him in action. Center of Attention. I urge you. If I weren't at a wedding during their show, i'd be up front and center throwing my granny-panties in his face.

I just got home from the Morrissey show at the Apollo and the show tonight wasn't as good as Tuesdays. Perhaps it had to do with my seating (i was up on balcony tonight ... was on the floor on tuesday), or maybe I was a bit used to the set... but I really, really, really wish he performed more songs from his older albums. I would've liked to have heard "Suedehead" or "Last of the Famous..." or "Have a Go" or "Boxer"... Instead he played a lot of new songs. I like the new album, but it's not really what I payed an arm and a leg to hear -- especially since i dont own it yet! "Irish Blood..." was a standout track of the new songs, and I thought he did an amazing job with it. Also, I am all for the Mozzer taking off his shirt.

During the encore of "There is a Light that Never Goes Out" i ran into a girl named Lisa that I used to go to elementry, middle and high school with... Amazingly, this was the second time I've run into her in the past two days -- yesterday she was at the Olsen Twins screening -- and I hadn't seen her since 1998. It's such a small world that she was sitting in the seat that i abandoned my jacket and back in.

After the show, Vicki went outside for a smoke and then met up with a couple of her friends and a couple of mine and the whole of us went in for the Mozzer after party which was sadly missing the mozzer. Awesomely, Dino, from Morrissey's band introduced himself to me when he saw me look in his direction and I also got to meet Boz. Boz plays guitar for Moz.

Holy shit. There's a Franz Ferdinand commerical on Comedy Central right now. So sexy. I'm happy that my DJ group's name is in honor of that band since they're so fucking wonderful and deserve to have everything in honor of them!

Anyway, Thank you Morrissey for bringing me up to the Apollo theater for the first time in my life. I'm totally going back for amature night!

Thursday, May 6, 2004

A NEW YORK MINUTE

Last night while I was in the theater by Times Square (and mtv, btw) watching the new Olsen Twins movie, I received a voice mail from my friend Gideon who was like "Sarah, the Olsen twins are taping TRL today. Call me back if you want to go." I got that voice mail this afternoon. God laughs at me sometimes.

Anyway, I raced back to the Lower East Side so i could DJ Nora's party at Piano. Had a really great time and got to see a bunch of good friends, including my brother, whom i hadn't seen in ages.

Tonight I was gonna go home to watch the finale of Friends but then Vicki told me that she had an extra ticket for Morrissey and suddenly it's like "what the fuck is a chandler?" I look so grungy and grody for the show tonight... c'est la vie. Harlem is mine and it owes me champagne.

Anyway... I'm gonna be DJing at Misshapes on Saturday but things are gonna be a bit different... read on:

Ultragrrrl: i just booked all of us
Ultragrrrl: OK. the first ever Tarts of Pleasure Vs. Death & Destruction at Misshapes. Saturday night at 1am.
deadelevators: haha! AWESOME
deadelevators: i'mm excited
deadelevators: you better not play what i play
Ultragrrrl: you are not allowed to play "laid".
deadelevators: fine but you are not allowed to play franz ferd or the killers
Ultragrrrl: i didnt discover the killers, but i turned you on to them!
Ultragrrrl: they were mine first. but you want them, you've got them.
Ultragrrrl: no joy division for you.
deadelevators: oh FINE
deadelevators: fine you can have killers if i can have Franz
deadelevators: you can have joy division if i can have the Cure
Ultragrrrl: you can have the cure and franz and the killers.
deadelevators: wow
deadelevators: you gonna pull some crazy shit on my ass
Ultragrrrl: i'm not sure what i have up my sleeve just yet.
Ultragrrrl: but i'm gonna have to really pull something out of it if i'm giving you all those bands.
deadelevators: you can have Sigur Ros and Mum
deadelevators: hows that sound
Ultragrrrl: fine, but you can't have all american rejects
Ultragrrrl: oh, we have to play lots of smiths songs
Ultragrrrl: that's the only catch. cause it's a smiths event.
deadelevators: we should do a smiths vs. cure thing
deadelevators: oh
deadelevators: smiths event
deadelevators: okay thats fine
Ultragrrrl: great.
deadelevators: this is going to be fun!
deadelevators: im excited
Ultragrrrl: 1-2:30 is our slot
deadelevators: awesome!!!
deadelevators: i'm gonna fuck shit up
Ultragrrrl: how do you want to be billed for the party?
Ultragrrrl: Death & Destruction featuring?
deadelevators: how are you guys going to be billed
deadelevators: i guess:
deadelevators: somethign like:
deadelevators:Tarts of Pleasure feat. Ultragrrrl (SPIN) + Karen (Agency Group) VS. Death and Destruction feat Alex Chow (Madison Strays/SPIN) + Ryan Rayhill (Rockstar Games)
deadelevators: unless that is way too long, heh
Ultragrrrl: i think it'll work out
deadelevators: okay cool
Ultragrrrl: oh wait. we gotta play franz ferdinand since our dj group is named after a franz song.
deadelevators: oh fine but then i want the killers

Wednesday, May 5, 2004

OH, COOL, THEY PLAYED CREEP

Alright, so I've been back from Coachella for more then 24 hours and I was surprisingly back to normal yesterday morning when I woke up in my own bed, clean and no longer smelling of two days worth of sweat, chlorine, and dirt. I'm like a rubber band I guess.

Coachella was hot, sweaty, and fun. Really fucking fun and if you ever get a chance to go next year, i strongly urge it. I ended up staying in a bungalo about 5 miles from the coachella site with about 30 people who slept everywhere. I shared a bed with GiuliaDoll and Sarah Wilson, and on our floor was the ever gorgeous Kimberly Taylor-Bennet. In the bed next door was JasonProductshop, who was in bed with a few people, then there was Halified, Adam Mandel, Jordan and his family, and like, ten others. I shit you not. We BBQ'ed, swam in the pool, soaked in the jacuzzi, read up on Mary Kate and Ashely, ate, cooked... yeah, it was a good time had by all!

By the way, if you ever need to hitch a ride back home, look for a pick up truck with a Jesus sticker. These lovely Jesus people picked me, kim, jordan and jason up on saturday night, drove us all around, and then gave us TUIT stickers after telling us "God Bless You." Now i sort of love Jesus. Thank you Baby Jesus! Ps. Jordan's shirt is kinda gay.

The highlights of Coachella for me:
The Pixies - who sounded like they must've about 10+ years ago.
Radiohead - everytime i see radiohead, my former total retarded obsession, i am like "eh, i've seen them a dozen times, i'm like, not losing my head over seeing them again." and then they take to the stage and i have mild epileptic seizures and dance in ways you'd be embarassed about. Then they played creep and i was in need of a new pair of underwear. Thom held that last note for like, 30 minutes.
Muse - they were about 20 times better at coachella then at the bowery ballroom show. I did notice that for one song there might've been prerecorded backing vocals, but that was for ONE single song, and I can handle that. Plus, at the SPIN party Matt told me that they're gonna tour the states a bit more, including CureFest with the Cure, Interpol, the Rapture, and Mogwai. Right, so you know when I say something gross and get a million complaints from readers in my comment box? Well, fuck you cause that news made me so excited that puke tried to come out of my nose.
The Flaming Lips - So totally incredible. I've never seen them before so i was insanely blown away and didn't want them to ever end. Sadly, they played only 4 songs, but all good ones. Um... Wayne came out into the audience in a fucking gigantic bubble. A GIGANTIC BUBBLE. Fuck you. That's amazing.
The Killers - it was sweltering in the tent they played in, but i sweated to the oldies and threw my hands in the air when the full on gospel choir came out. As Brandon Flowers promised me a few weeks ago, they were better then the one that came out at SXSW.

The Cure was a bit on the not-so-amazing side. They played lots of really great songs, but the volume was too low for their set and the mix was just really awful. These are things they couldn't help, plus following the Flaming Lips' show was going to be difficult no matter what.

Last night i went to see Morrissey in Harlem and i dont think I've ever had a reaction to a show like I did. It was full of superfandom for me. I was shaking and laughing very hysterically in a frightening way. Poor Rob Sheffield. He stood next to me and didn't inch away once when I grabbed his arm and started being sort of like a maniac. Also, I yelled out to Morrissey "I LOVE YOU" and he said "HOW MUCH?" and i couldnt move. I could only stand there laughing like "ahahahahahahhahahahahaha" breathe "ahahahhahahahahhahahahahha" breathe "ahhahhahahahahahhhhaha." I dont even know what song he played after that cause i was like, on cloud nine for a bit.

About Me

Sarah Lewitinn (born February 3, 1980), also known by her nickname Ultragrrrl, is a music critic, DJ, and blogger. She gained notoriety as an assistant editor at SPIN Magazine.
In 2006, New York magazine named Lewitinn as one of "The Most Influential People in Music", citing that "she has more power than any print music critic".