Get your tissues, readers. This is a story of struggle. Of overcoming obstacles. Of unprecedented peril and survival. Because Matt Lanter, the guy on Timeless? He has a maltipoo. … That’s it, that’s the story. He’s embarrassed of her, for challenging his masculinity, because she’s a tiny fluffy girl dog. ARE YOU NOT TOUCHED BY HIS JOURNEY? (People)

This walk through the former glory of America’s Next Top Model is truly spectacular, as is the story of how it helped give us the Go Fug Yourself we love and would be lost without. (GFY)

An artist is giving henna crowns to cancer patients so they can feel beautiful while undergoing the hell of chemo, and my computer seems to be spraying me with tear dust. (Revelist)

McDonald’s new goatse cup is just the shot of holiday spirit we all need. (It’s a shot up your ass.) (Dlisted)

Mark Wahlberg is optimistic things will get better under President Trump, and, you know, life is short, and he’s just happy to be #blessed by all the more important things in his life. Because Mark Wahlberg is a white, cisgender, wealthy, able-bodied man. (Celebitchy)

Sometimes I forget about Amazon Prime. Dustin has a list of the best reasons you should not be like me. (UPROXX)

That West Virginia official, who called Michelle Obama an “ape in heels” and got fired for it, has been reinstated. You know, 2016 has been shit for us but it’s been a baller year for garbage people. (Jezebel)

In her first year in the Cannonball Read, ChainedVase has introduced us to fun books kids and adults can read together. Mordecai Richler’s Jacob Two-Two Meets The Hooded Fang is beloved in her family, and she wants to share it with yours. "Mordecai Richler was obviously a gifted writer. I mean, he’s Mordecai Freakin Richler. But not every gifted adult writer is going to be as in-tune to children and as brilliant at skewering adults and entertaining kids as this." What books do you want to share with kids? (Cannonball Read 8)