Great Thoughts in the History of Western Philosophy (On the Subject of Family Matters)

Plato

SOCRATES: If the creators of Family Matters recognize the hilarity of Steve Urkel exceeds that of the Winslow family, is it just or not to feature him as a main character?

CRITO: It is just, Socrates; how then shall we proceed?

SOCRATES: Get rid of the little sister? She doesn’t really add much to the show.

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Aristotle

It is wise that the poet of this episodic series has focused on plot and character more than spectacle. For while spectacle has, indeed, an emotional attraction of its own, it is the least artistic… Never mind, they just launched Urkel into space.

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Hegel

Nothing great in the World has been accomplished without passion. By now, you have probably correctly assumed I am talking about the Urkel-bot.

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Kierkegaard

I don’t see why Urkel would have to pass a swimming test to graduate high school.

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Nietzsche

What is Steve Urkel to Stefan Urquelle? A laughingstock. Man shall be that to the Übermensch.