Monday, 31 October 2011

Sharks and Why They Suck Ass!

Big fucking man-eating Sharks! Mother Nature's way of telling us to keep the fuck out of the ocean. The shark can sense even the smallest drop of blood from miles away and can home in on the electrical signals from a fish or man in distress. Their most basic function is to find food, kill it and eat it. Sharks never sleep and they certainly fucking don't do "Leisure" or "Me" time like candy-ass whales and dolphins, they just hunt, kill, destroy and rip and eat anything that even remotely resembles food. Its whole body is just an engine to propel its mouth and stomach around the ocean at high velocity to find stuff to kill and eat and occasionally shag other sharks.

But that's not all... The Shark has multiple rows of teeth which grow back if it manages to smash one out of its mouth while eating a boat. It can live for a very long time and some scientists say that there could be sharks out there that are more than 150 years old!!!(Whaaat? So now they are nearly immortal too?) Sharks can also heal from injuries very quickly if they don't get eaten by other sharks first. Even its babies are cold-assed killing machines who fight to the death in the egg sac to prove who is the badassest-The winner gets to eat its siblings and make a tough reputation for itself before it is even born!

It has been said that sharks are not as intelligent as whales or dolphins but what the hell does intelligence mean when you are as hard and cunning as a shark? Catch a dolphin on a bad day and he will probably just mope and go all emo on you. Catch a shark on a bad day and it will rip you in half and eat you just to see if you were worth eating.

Now I'm not saying we should kill them all off or cull or deport them all elsewhere. All animals have a right to be whoever the fuck they are. Sharks especially, because they have been around for a lot longer than humans and will probably be around after humanity has long since passed. In fact, because they are so hardcore there is a good chance that sharks will probably out evolve us and learn to fly at some point in the future, completely killing off humanity by eating us to death from the air but until that time we should respect the fact that the ocean belongs to its creatures and stop fucking whining when someone gets eaten in half because they are swimming in shark infested waters.

From an evolutionary perspective sharks are magnificent creatures who have reached a high point in their evolution. They live to survive and make no excuses for who they are. From a human perspective they suck ass because it makes us afraid to swim in the sea.

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Why The World Sucks Ass!

Lets face it, despite being one of the only planets for light years around that has actually been blessed with intelligent life, the world actually sucks ass! Look at what's going on around us- Its fucking mayhem out there! The universe is trying to wipe the hell out of the human race and if it wasn't for our breed-like- rabbits attitude towards population control I'm sure that by now it would have us all orbiting the galaxy as tiny motes of dust. We have Tsunami's, Earthquakes, Hurricanes, Firestorms and Hail the size of fists, there are things in the ocean and on land that could kill the fuck out of any human being and forget about it a moment later. Then we have the shit that we are doing to ourselves- War, Pestilence, Famine, Pollution, Nuclear Weapons, Chemical Weapons, Biological weapons, Bio-Engineered Viruses...As if all of this Was not enough, there is also the threat from Meteors, Solar Flares, Pole Shifts, Alien Invasion and now Supermassive Black holes and Dark Fucking Matter!!! It makes me wonder how anyone can survive for a DAY on this fucking planet, let alone a lifetime!