So here's Russell Brand. I read an interview about this being his chance to make it here in the US. After the opening monologue, I'm thinking we revoke his visa.

Ah, now I get it. MTV gives Brittney the first award to try to force her back into relevance. I'm not sure people will but that [did Viacom produce her latest album?]

First Lesson I Learned Tonight: Weezy = Lil' Wayne

[Kelly and I both surmise] the Jonas Brothers were relegated to the side lot because MTV wants their demographic but didn't want the teeny-boppers in the actual arena.

I can't believe that Katy Perry has any staying power. I'm thinking she'll be forgotten in a year.

Second Lesson I Learned Tonight: The Million Dollar Man = Lil' Wayne

I likes me some Paramore.

Russell Brand: still tired.

Not sure about Pink's outfits, but I think she's who Katy Perry wishes she could be.

Jordin Sparks stands up for promise rings [after Russell Brand spent the majority of his jokes have centered around the Jonas Brothers and theirs] and will probably get more publicity than his jokes.

About Christian Aguilera: First, the best singer in the house decides to lip sync. Second, she does a song that sounds like it was written for Rhianna. Third, I know she can't be thirty yet, but she almost seemed old.

How's about some L.L. Cool J Goin' Back to Cali?

Two awards for Britney? Fool me once, shame on you . . .

So is Kid Rock a country music performer now? I'm so confused . . .

OK, the fix is in: Britney wins video of the year. If MTV ever had any credibility, it's all used-up. See, everyone knows that their Movie Awards promote whomever shows up. But this network prided itself on being the musical authority but it's not getting killed by The Disney Channel and American Idol. Just put The Hills on a loop and take the rest of the year off.

Kanye should've picked another song to end on. It was kinda a letdown.

These things keep getting weaker and weaker. Remind me so I don't waste my time next year.