Sand. It’s the one truly rare thing in the Middle East because it’s so very rare. And while there’s no word on whether the feared Mossad Sharks and IAF vulture had anything to do with it,Â they probably did. Sinai used to be known for its sand, until the Jews stole it all to build massive sand castles with which to oppress the Palestinian people.

In December of 2011 Egypt sent the United Nations a report detailing the reasons for which Israel owes the government of Egypt $500 billion for damage sustained by the Sinai Peninsula when it was controlled by Israel between 1967 and 1982.

The report notes that former president Hosni Mubarak did not introduce claims regarding any of the stolen goods or physical damage throughout his time as ruler.

This isn’t really a serious claim. But it allows the Muslim Brotherhood’s government media to begin screaming that the economy is bad because Israel won’t pay the $500 billion it owes for “destroying” Egypt’s economy by beating it in a war over 50 years ago and stealing all its sand. And when the Muslim Brotherhood gets around to declaring war on Israel with all those tanks and jets that Obama is giving them, this will be in the list of causes.

The 750 page report describes the plethora of ways in which Israel shattered the local economy. It asserts that Israel destroyed the fishing industry and 40 percent of the coral reefs; took valuable oil, gold, and gems, leaving only “worthless” rock behind.

Those cunning Israeli bastards. Why didn’t they take the worthless rock and leave the valuable oil, gold and gems behind?

Â It goes on to say that maritime trade through the Suez Canal was disrupted between 1967 and 1975, thus depriving Egypt of millions of dollars’ worth of revenue

A disruption which only happened because Egypt blockaded the Suez Canal in preparation for a war.

Â Israel stole just under $50 billion worth of sand

Looks like Israel took the worthless rock too. How is there even a Sinai left?

…and Israel obliterated the Egyptian Air Force in 1967.

Is Egypt seriously asking for compensating for the destruction of their air force in a war that it started? Looks like Israel took all the sand, but left the chutzpah.

This story begins to sound even more obnoxious because it would appear that the Egyptian Foreign Ministry put this forward to counter a claim for compensation by Egyptian Jewish refugees who were forced out of the country.

You forgot the fedora and trench-coat clad squirrels with a flair for espionage, flitting from lamppost to lamppost mumbling “Play it again Sam”…..you know the ones……arrested by the Iranians…

Then there was the vegetable scandal…..the one with the Cristian crosses in the tomatoes….so suddenly the entirety of the Muslim world was put on notice that tomatoes were haram……

Lets not forget the mullahs and imams in Iraq that ordered the naked posterior of goats, sheep and donkey’s be clad in diapers as the same naked posterior had enflamed the passions and sensibilities of the local muslim male population to a point of foaming, babbling incoherence.

And who can forget the poor vegetable merchant in Iraq who was ordered by the local mullah to be dispatched in a rather gruesome manner……his crime you ask?…….the poor fellow had arranged his vegetables in a “suggestive” manner………no doubt placing two grapefruit alongside a manly looking English cucumber…..or perhaps a couple of provocative cherries on top of a couple of ripe juicy scintillating melons…….