I've been afraid to reveal my identity, but after seeing all the posts my fear has calmed somewhat.

Although I saw enough emotional abuse to find the physical abuse believable, I never actually saw physical abuse firsthand, beyond TYK's occasional slapping of a student in a fit of pique. This is far milder than the premeditated torture others have reported. So by sharing my experiences I can't get TYK into any more trouble than she's already in.

Also, I don't have any skeletons in my closet that she could use against me. She won't find anything on my record worse than a few minor traffic violations. For a while my credit was messed up, but that was due to overspending during my COL years. She could embarass me by revealing confessions in my journal, but even my wildest fantasies don't match what she has done in real life.

Still, I'm afraid that she could make my life difficult just for petty revenge. Kathy has talked about having her phone tapped and being harassed. Has anyone else been monitored, followed, or confronted?

I can't add any new information to this forum, but I can add another perspective. I can corroborate stories of sleep deprivation, crazy diets, the Humiliation Ritual, overwork, financial exploitation, etc.

Bemused, Don't be afraid, if you are, she wins. But still keep your eyes wide open. Many people are watching this thread and it isn't just us ex col people. Her old tactics might just come back and bite her in the butt. There is no one in this life that I know of that is a saint. But when you purposely hurt and defraud people, and numerous other deeds, don't you think you should be accountable?

How many other people are going to be forever harmed by devious methods, when in fact they are just looking for happiness and to do good for others, and love. So long as our stories are brought to light to forewarn others of things that have gone on, we have tried to enlighten others of what to beware of. It has gotten a lot worse since I left. Is it going to continue to get even worse? When is enough enough?

This isn't one or two or even three people saying what has happened to them. But more than a dozen. There are facts, there is proof of what has gone on. If it wasn't for so many you could maybe toss it aside as someone just disgruntled, but not this many. These are true experiences and knowledge. Not all was bad, or we wouldn't of stayed as long as some have. But there is much cover up. There is much decieving. Everyone that was there once loved tyk. She could do no wrong in our eyes. But when we really opened our eyes we saw the truth. Those that were really close, including those in her bed, know who she really is. She claims to be a devout Catholic now. I see nothing in the Catholic religion that would agree with her teachings, or what she demands. I'm inquiring into that now, as I want answers from those that govern the Church and bylaws.
Hopefully all our postings have helped not only ourselves for being able to talk about what happened to us, but have given some that are or were thinking of joining her help in deciding what they want to do. Ignorance is not bliss. You need to have your eyes wide open in this world, to keep from being a victim.

Thanks, Kathy, that is reassuring, especially since I have had no contact whatsoever with AG since I left and didn't work directly with him while I was there. I can only be an observer in the TYK vs. AG conflict. But would I love to be a fly on the wall if TYK gets cross-examined in court. Lawyers and judges don't put up with evading a direct question.

I was in full-time COL and worked for Lighthouse, so I was technically in the inner circle. But I wasn't in the innermost circle. She kept so many secrets that I'll bet even those in the innermost circle didn't know all that went on. I'll bet she kept things even from SHS and AG.

Part of the value of this forum is that us exers can finally compare notes. We were not free to do that in COL, especially since we were encouraged to snitch on each other.

Thanks, Kathy, that is reassuring, especially since I have had no contact whatsoever with AG since I left and didn't work directly with him while I was there. I can only be an observer in the TYK vs. AG conflict. But would I love to be a fly on the wall if TYK gets cross-examined in court. Lawyers and judges don't put up with evading a direct question.

I was in full-time COL and worked for Lighthouse, so I was technically in the inner circle. But I wasn't in the innermost circle. She kept so many secrets that I'll bet even those in the innermost circle didn't know all that went on. I'll bet she kept things even from SHS and AG.

Part of the value of this forum is that us exers can finally compare notes. We were not free to do that in COL, especially since we were encouraged to snitch on each other.

She keeps secrets from "everybody". Even more so after I left. We have compared some notes. Those that were told to do things to others have told of such things. You don't have to be a fly on the wall bemused, court is an open forum. Unless you are going to be a witness. It will all be out in the open for all to see.. If you would like to talk to me bemused, just say so and I will give you an email address to contact me. If you don't want to yet, that is ok too. It is up to you. As far as AG, there is a saying that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. But who was really scorned? Hopefully there can be some closure to that affair someday. It is harming both of them. I have to wait to see how and what is happening too. Truth will prevail there I believe. She had me spying on MM and all lovey dovey to him at the same time. Still driving the Mercedes that he was paying for. You can't believe her. She talks to each student about the other students trying to see who is the most loyal and will tell her what she wants to hear. She doesn't know what love is if she can turn around and hate a person in a moment in time. Remember the lectures of how she not only turns the other cheek but she gives people millions of chances? It is herself that she gives a million chances to.

I thought I'd say a few words about TYK's so-called weight loss programs. They were uninformed at best.

A few years ago I got tired of yo-yo dieting and decided I needed to learn about weight maintenance. I joined Weight Watchers. There are other similar programs, such as Overeaters Anonymous and Take Off Pounds Sensibly, so I'm not recommending WW as the only way. What WW offers is basically information and skills. The information is about food, portions, exercise, and metabolism. The skills involve everything from lightening recipes to handling relatives who urge you to eat. The basic program is more of a budget than a diet. WW simplifies calorie counting using a point system.

One of the things I've learned is that eating too little can be counterproductive. The body responds by lowering metabolism, and the result is that the weight just won't come off. Sure, you can push through this by starving yourself, but you can lose muscle and suffer nutrient deficiencies. At one point when my weight wouldn't budge, I got weight loss going again by *increasing* my intake by about 100 calories a day. This boosted my metabolism and got me back on track.

Nutrient deficiencies can make weight loss hell by causing fatigue and hunger. Unfortunately, the hunger signal is not specific, so what you crave has nothing to do with what you need. Taking supplements helps, but there's no substitute for a balanced diet. Some nutrients are almost impossible to get in easily absorbable form from non-meat sources, such as iron, B12, and zinc. Vegetarians have to either take supplements or eat weird things like spirulina. Deficiencies in iron or B12 cause anemia, and zinc deficiency causes fatigue and lowers immune response. Anemia is more common in women for obvious reasons, but zinc deficiency isn't. (A sign of zinc deficiency is cloudy white spots in the fingernails, and at least one of the COL men had these.)

COL members ate meat when we went out to dinner or had special parties and events, but their everyday diet was different. COL had a grocery budget off and on, but more of the money went to COL1 and later SG. Meat is expensive, so often the other COL households did without. I got most of my protein from eggs and tofu, which I think was typical. A doctor told me I had iron-deficiency anemia and recommended that I eat more meat, especially beef, which is the best commonly available source of iron. Even when following the "normal" COL diet I couldn't do it.

COL members on special diets usually avoided meat even on special occasions. More than other members, they were caught between the hunger their deficiencies caused and the crazy diets that caused the deficiencies. Who wouldn't be weak and hungry eating just soy milk, or just fruits and veggies, or just rice and kimchi?

The diets TYK ordered were not just crazy, but unnecessary. Most COL members, both men and women, were in the normal range. I can think of only three women in COL who were obviously obese. Maybe TYK wanted everyone to look like exercise video mavens but couldn't admit she didn't know jack **** about nutrition. Or maybe this was just another way of weakening and punishing us.

I am one of the three........I am sure....Like I posted earlier I was on a rice and kimchee diet for over a year...I only lost 20 pounds and I was given some fruit for the constipation. I was Anemic and before surgery I had to eat a ton of tofu, as that is rich in iron, to get my iron up before they could operate. My metabolism is shot..I don't have one. Some people are fat, some are not. I'm not feeling bad because I was not small like her, but I feel that I have the inter beauty that she lacks....It would be a sad world if everyone was alike. I'm a clothes horse and I wish I could wear smaller clothes but I can't. No one is perfect. shs is just as much to blame as he is the one who complained about the grocery bill. He also told me to stop feeding the athletes that came there so much meat. At the time they were paying $500.00 a day to train, seems like you should be able to eat some meat for that amount of money, back in 91. Special diets weren't to make you healthier but to trim the food costs. shs is cheap....he is money hungry too.....I wonder if he got chastised when he told me to try to get tyk to spend less money? He wanted to halt her spending too. The diets for us adults, we have to own because we were adults, but it was so unfair for what the kids had to go through. I know that Chica and Ryan were deprived of food....But being with tyk all the time I didn't see the extent of it. I just knew they were frail children. I'm so glad to see that they made it to adulthood. I haven't see Ryan yet but Chica has grown to be a beautiful woman and is flourishing. Keep up the good work Chica. I hope you can forgive me for not giving you more attention. I cannot forgive someone that harms children. I try but can't find it in my heart yet.

You have brought up an interesting point Bemused.
If you are in a weakened physical condition from poor nutrition, the "fight" has gone out of you.

I equate TYK's unbalanced diet orders and protein deficiency with what people in concentration camps endured. Hard work, long hours, little sleep-sometimes on garage floors, and little food. She is subjecting you to inhumane conditions.