Okay, it's past midnight so I'll quit now before moving on to Chapter 2, but so far this is a pretty good story. I think perhaps there's a bit too much packed in this first chapter, and it moves a bit too fast, but this is an interesting start and I look forward to more.

Awesome story! Can't wait to read the next part. I hate to be the one to point this out, but I suggest that you read it. There are a few missing words, letters, and punctuation marks. The story is great though, keep it up!