Book Reviews & Giveaway: Instant Influence

“Instant Influence shows you how to motivate others to make changes great and small in seven minutes or less.”

When I read this on the back flap of “Instant Influence,” one well defined eyebrow went up. My chances of getting anybody to do anything is not a talent I was born with. I am a sel defines WUSS. I attract control freak types, and then stand back with horror as I watch myself dive into the abyss of submissiveness. Boundaries? Oh yeah, I set them – and then cave in. Immediately. My relationship history is a TRAIN WRECK of demented control freaks running over the tracks….And I am the tracck.

So, I decided to inform myself on how to appropriately get others to respect me. After 20 years of therapy you would think this would be a slam dunk, but trust me readers, my dad was right out of Pat Conroy’s “The Prince of Tides!!!” I called him Colonel Young – Sir – til the day he died. We can change our behavior, but these haunting little voices in our head – hmmm, they are not just VISITORS. They embalm themselves into our core being.

Dr. Pantalon states that Instant Influence is based on three guiding principles…

No one absolutely has to do anything: the choice is always yours (light bulb moment!)

Everyone already has enough motivation.

Focusing on any tiny bit of motivation works much better than asking about resistance.

People do what they want to do. If they find their own reasons they can agree to change in a surprisingly short time. OK, I’m already looking askance with doubt. But, I’m willing to read on.

So, here are the 6 steps to Instant Influence

Step One: Why might you change?Step Two: How ready are you to change – on scale from 1 – 10?Step Three: Why didn’t you pick a lower number?Step Four: Imagine you’ve changed. What would the positive outcomes be?Step Five: Why are those outcomes important to you?Step Six: what’s the next step, if any?

I applied these steps to myself. I wanted to change giving my power away to control freaks and bullies. I am 10 ready. I didn’t pick a lower number because I want to control my own life. As I am changed, I imagine a person who is decisive, assertive and self-confident in her needs and beliefs. The positive outcome? A job I deserve, friends who support and respect me, and personal responsibility for my own life. These are important objectives, because this is who I really am, and I don’t lie feeling angry and resentful…at MYSELF. The next step: SAY NO. Back up my boundaries. Don’t do it in anger. Be myself and love it.

Dr. Pantalon goes on to explain the process, and this book, unlike Dale Carnegie, is not abut Making Friends and Influencing People. It’s about communication and behavioral changes that are common to us all. NO ONE likes to be told what to do, but everyone wants to change – SOMETHING.

I’ll let you know how it works! Very interesting and comprehensive book without preaching or didactic self-helpism. Just a really cool guideline to asking WHY and answering it, to yourself or others.