Starry eyes of an admirer and hearing the sweet words of “Wow! You’re amazing!” can be seductive. Why do young men want to join a band when they can’t even play an instrument or sing? Maybe it’s because they want to feel like a “Rock Star.”

Be your husband’s #1 fan. Husbands need to know they are winning the game to make wives happy. Loyal fans show up when nobody else will. Loyal fans celebrate the successes and encourage through the failures. We have often heard about the “fragile male ego.” What I learned in this book is that admiration energizes a man’s motivation, it helps him belief in himself.

Danger: “I will love you more when…” is a dangerous mentality. Husbands want to be appreciated for who they are NOW, not the potential for who you WANT them to become in the future. Criticism causes men to become defensive. Temptation happens when a woman at work tells a man how wonderful he is (“rock star” status) and then the husband goes home to a wife’s continuous disappointment at his inability to meet her expectations.

A man thrives on a woman’s admiration. Make sure YOU are that woman.

Action: The more a man meets his wife’s basic marital needs, the more likely she is to admire him. If a husband wants to know how to win your admiration, help him be successful by sharing what you need (see Love Language series). Catch him doing something right, then tell him that he is appreciated.

Men are inspired to achieve more when a woman tells him he is wonderful.

I am my husband’s #1 fan. I take every opportunity to share with others his strengths or the business skills he could help someone with. He is talented in fixing things I inadvertently break, reading technical manuals that give me headaches to understand, and doing the dirty work I despise. His strengths cover my weaknesses. I admire my husband’s entrepreneurial spirit, his creative problem-solving, and his ability to enhance experiences by paying attention to the details. This is why I look at him with starry eyes and say, “Wow! You’re amazing!”

Reflect & Share: What do YOU want to be admired for? What is it about your partner that you admire most (wow-factor)?

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Resources: Find out your Top 5 Needs by taking the assessment or read the book.