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Thursday, January 17, 2013

YouTube Saved Me Again

Don’t take that thing, he told me, raising his eyebrows and
inclining his head towards my new Picnic Time Sun Shade.

Why not?

It’s going to be hard to fold back up.You’ll need Adult Supervision to make it
work.

Puffing out my chest and stetching to my fullest height, I
blurted out, Last time I looked, I was an Adult!There’ll be no problem.

Famous last words, as Mum used to say.

The Bimini beach in Alice Town is a typical Bahamian
treasure trove for beach glass enthusiasts, a free-run paradise for Nelson and
an endless stretch of white sand--a peaceful place to settle with a good
book.Unzipping the circular bag that
held my new toy, I pulled out the coiled sunshade.The shock cord and yellow-coloured light
nylon construction make it portable and perfect for staking out a private oasis
of shade from the tropical sunshine.

It EXPLODED open with a loud snap and deafening whoosh.

Right!The thing has
a mind of its own.

Ironically, it wasn’t until I began reversing the process at
the end of my beach visit that I saw the bold-lettered CAUTION sign stitched
into the inside of the bag.This thing
is a menace.Inside the carry bag, along
with the heretofore unseen cords and stakes for tethering the aerodynamic tent,
I found a sheet of diagrams for re-coiling the contraption.Up until this point in my adventure, I have
to say, I truly loved my new sunshade and the respite from the burning sun it
afforded me.

The sheet of diagrams was by then sopping
wet, obliterated with clinging sand and tearing apart as I tried to smooth it
out to get an inkling of how to muscle this thing into submission.The sunshade had beaten me.Her sunny yellow face beamed at me in happy,
victorious glee.

Ha ha!I win, she
gloated.

Thankfully there were no cameras to record my humiliating
return to Steadfast and Captain B’s I told you so.What a sight I made, carrying a spring-loaded
kite four times my size, 2 pillows, my book, a bag of collected sea glass, my
wrap, hat and shoes encrusted with sand and a feisty Nelson dancing on the end
of his leash, pulling towards home.

Back at the boat, Captain B tried valiantly to overcome the
shade.He gave it the old college try
but was no more successful at adulthood than I had been.There was one last hope, before we let the
whole thing blow away to sea—YouTube.

We watched the video, tried our best, watched again, tried
again, for a total of six or seven times before the yellow beast was finally
wrestled into a coil small enough to fit back into its bag.

She’s biding her time.She knows I’ll risk my pride and reputation by taking her out again
soon.

Not today though.

If you take that thing, I’m not going, the Captain
stated.Maybe I’ll have to wait a week
or so until the dust settles.