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7 thoughts on “CARMENISMS: OFF MY GAME”

Hell yes! Taking the useful parts of what happened ad sloughing off the rest is the best way to go.
Personally, I like the part of recovering from teh failure. The anger makes the next part easier to push through.

Rock on, and next time, you’ll wow them!
(Winston Churchill also said “Never give up, never give up, never give up.”)

Thank you so much. I needed camaraderie! Ha! You know, I’m so glad you said it, but I kinda like this part: recovering. I am realizing this morning especially that this probably happened so it would never happen again. I know that sounds odd, but Lord have mercy, I’m feeling so fierce now. Like “Yeah, bring it mutherflowers. Go ahead. Bring me in again and I’mma blow your socks off.” And strangely, I’m not kidding about it. I feel stronger. Ain’t that something? Brought to my knees one day, taller than a mountain top the next. Yeah, I ain’t given up. I’m taking the world on from here!

Thank you Beautiful. Handsome. (I wonder how many people know what your name means?).

Enjoy your break. But thank you for stopping by. Needed it! Happy sweet day to you and your fab fam!

Yes. Yup, yup, yup. Been there (of course, right?) a number of times. Each time, you think “well at least this is the worst. Nothing else will ever happen like this again”. And then it does.

How cool that they were rooting for you, wanting you to succeed while you went through the torture of trying to get out of your head. I’ve had a couple of auditions like that. I specifically remember one of them, when the guy had me try over and over to get the lines right (it was for an insurance commercial). At the end, I lost out, and knew I had. I think that the moment when you realize that *they* know you’re blowing it, and are trying to help, sometimes just makes it worse, because all of a sudden you’re filled with the awareness of the awfulness of the moment – and THAT consumes your headspace, making it impossible to continue. Ugh.

On Friday when you were having your bad day, I was having a bit of one too. I was scheduled to interview A.J. Cook (Criminal Minds) in advance of the series season finale. I was looking forward to it, and had prepared very well. I had interviewed her before, and we had such a strong connection that I wasn’t nervous at all.

The call time came, and I answered and we had an excellent interview. I was really happy when we were done, and I knew it was a success. Then I realized: I hadn’t turned my recorder on. And because I was so dependent upon the recording software, I hadn’t bothered to take any notes.

Panic. I had scrambled hard to try and remember everything she said. I wrote furiously, while it was still all relatively fresh. At the end, when I had squeezed every single drop of memory out, I submitted it to my editor. Told him how bummed I was that I hadn’t recorded anything. He sympathized and said “I’m sure it’ll be okay”. Maybe so, but it felt too much like failure.

You’re so right though, about the self-beating-up thing. Eventually you have to stop and figure out: a) what have I learned, if anything; b) what will I do in the future; and c) what do I do now? What’s next?

You know how you go through childhood and your teenage years, and how when someone tells you that you can’t do something, you use that negative energy to push you forward? Like “you say I can’t? I’ll show you!!!”. Maybe that’s what we can do with ourselves when the self-flagellation gets too strong. Ask your negative thoughts: do this mean I think I can’t do it in the future? Does it? I’ll show you!

“…but it felt too much like failure..” Uggh, that’s a bummer. But I’m sure your editor was right. You remembered a lot more – or more than enough for us readers (on a side note, I know Brett Cullen – – he played/plays the Preacher in the episode! He was sooooo good — scared me! He actually is the sweetest nicest guy ever. A man’s man. Know what I mean? But clearly he’s a wonderful actor — but totally threw me when I saw him. So excited for this weeks episode!).

Have I mentioned that I love your write-ups? Yeah. People should read-up especially if they miss an episode:

I love what you said Wolfie — ironically I spent time with a 5 year old on Saturday at the Zoo. It was the best medicine EVER! She’s all about “Oh, yeah? Watch me!” and it made me think exactly the same thing. Gotta love kids.

Big hug to you too! And yeah, I loved Brett Cullen’s character in that episode. He really nailed it. Kind of stole the show whenever he was on screen. I’ll bet he had the time of his life doing it too. I would have. I mean, are you kidding? Such an intense role, where you get to play the sly violent preacher/pimp. How awesome would that be?

Thanks for the shout-out too, Carmen! Can’t wait to hear about your next gig!