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Welcome to the KingZoo and Funny Farm, where we learn to live, laugh, and love together. Here you'll find snippets of life in our zoo, parenting tips we've learned along the way, reflections on shining God's light in this world, passions in the realm of orphan care, and our journey as parents of a visually impaired child with sensory processing disorder. Have fun!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

The Silly Putty incident

Over the years, we have acquired quite a few incidences. You know, those events that evoke feelings of terror, sometimes bordering on Post Traumatic Stress Disorders. Incidences that only those in the family can really understand.

One such event is the Maple Syrup Incident of Aught Four. We had just embarked on a 10 hour trip to visit the relatives. Having awakened the kids out of their slumber at an unearthly, still-dark hour and bundled them in the van, we traveled a few hours before stopping for breakfast at a fast food restaurant. The kids all ordered pancakes and as soon as we were situated in the van and on the road again, someone spilled the contents of their breakfast thus causing syrup to be deposited all over the carseat, van seat, and seat belt. It somehow hid in areas unknown to us and recurrences would mysteriously appear months apart. To this day, the mention of pancakes and syrup can cause Andrew to have weeks of flashbacks and nightmares.

Another is the Nail Polish Incident. A more recent incident, this one occurred when the Good Doctor was in charge. Presumably clueless as to the dangers of a child bearing nail polish, the Good Doctor allowed his 5 year old to apply the substance while in the living room, carefully balancing the bottle on a piano bench, situated in the middle of the living room floor. On one of the few carpeted areas in our house. To her credit, she did place the bottle on a piece of paper towel. In a feat that will never be understood, the bottle fell off the bench, hit the floor with such force that the content flew all the way up to the ceiling, deposited some there, before the rest fell to the floor (carpeted, remember). A few stray droplets landed on the Good Doctor himself, and for good measure, some made it all the way up to the laptop in his lap. Needless to say, that one left a lasting impression on the Good Doctor who no longer allows nail polish to be handled by 5 year olds on a piano bench in the middle of the living room. And lest he forget, any time he looks up, there's a pink patch to remind him.

But the incident of all incidences was actually a series of incidences involving the first four King children and something as innocent as Silly Putty. Who hasn't enjoyed Silly Putty? You can stretch it, you can smash it, you can put it on a comic strip. You can't however, put it on a carseat and leave it in a hot vehicle. Let me rephrase that. You can place it on a carseat and leave it in a hot vehicle. And it will remain there forever and a day. You also cannot place it on your pillow at night, as a bedtime companion of sorts. It will end up permanently attached to your pillowcase. Good-bye favorite pillowcase. Relatedly, you cannot play with it in bed and leave it on your sheets. Good-bye sheets. This series of events has resulted in a familial diagnosis of PTSD that cannot be cured by any medication or therapy. Silly Putty was forever banned from our home and family members were warned that anyone even attempting to do so would find a whole crate of the stuff on their doorstep when they supply me with grandchildren.

We regret to admit that we failed to warn Shoun of this particular incident. The poor guy showed up at lunch today with the Silly Putty he had received at a birthday party last night. Yeah, he never experienced the incidences himself, but regrettably, after the reactions of his family members today, he now suffers from a type of second-hand PTSD. Poor guy will never be able to handle Silly Putty again.