What the Fug: Chloe Grace Moretz

Okay, this was going to be about her outfit, but then I read a rumor that Chloe G.M. might be dating Brooklyn Beckham. And for starters, MY EYES, I can’t believe Posh’s child is old enough to DATE; also, I love that, and the only thing making me sad is that Chloe is not Taylor Swift, and thus we won’t get any angsty teen breakup anthems called, say, “Whatever (I Was Way More Into Your Dad Anyway).”

However, I do think Posh would have SOME NOTES about this outfit:

One such note would be, “STOP RIGHT NOW, thank you very much,” and then we’d get, “Who do you think you are?” followed by, “Now don’t go wasting my precious time; get your act together, we could be just fine.” And then, upon final sighting of the hideous plaid water-wings passing as sleeves, she would shriek, “Zig-a-zig ARRRRRRGH.” I’d like to be there. But I’ll understand if she doesn’t think to call me first.