Sunday, February 28, 2010

When I first started this blog I had no idea where I was going with it. I didn't really know what to write about and if people really wanted to hear all about my actual life. The only thing I did know was that I was absolutely IN LOVE with books, so this blog became a book blog. Which by no means is a bad thing; I love books and book blogs. But, well, I'd like to share some of my intimate feelings with you and live up to my title now: Life or Something Like It... So if you're looking for a book review or just a post about books I'd say turn back now, 'cause today I'll be sharing a little bit of My Life or I guess you could say, what happens to be in my noggin... lol :D

So where do I even begin?

Hmmm, it may be a little morbid for some of you but I think I'll start with my first real experience with death. You may be wondering why I said "Real" death? What I mean is, it's the first time I've had someone I knew well and loved dearly pass away. Death is never an easy thing, though, no matter what. So let’s start at the beginning shall we...

I got a call early morning on December 16 from my mom she was crying so hard she could barely speak, she whimpered in the phone to me, " David passed away this morning..." I replied in total shock, "What? What do you mean David passed away?" Some of you may not know, but my little brothers name is David, so automatically the first person I thought of was him. Then my mother whimpered again, "David S*** passed away this morning." It was heartbreaking for sure, but I couldn't help myself when I sighed in relief that it wasn't my little brother David named after my Uncle David. Then total shock hit. I didn't cry right away. I wasn't really sure I believed it, you know, because I had just seen him at my little girls’ 2nd birthday party. Hugged him, told him I loved him, thanks for coming and I'd see him again soon. It was a surreal experience to get that phone call. We packed us up a bag that day and headed down to my Aunt Darlene's house to comfort her in her time of loss. You see, they've been together for 28 years, and 6 months before he died they found out he had brain cancer, but that doesn't mean his death didn't come as a surprise to everyone. See my Aunt Darlene and David's daughter had seen him through what they thought was going to be the hardest part, David's brain surgery. At the time of his surgery they felt they were ready for the worst but David pulled through it. He was a strong man, a fighter, but as you may know cancer can really break a person down and work its magic through your veins. His heart gave out in the ambulance on his way to the hospital the morning of December 16, 2009.

I can't describe how his wife must have felt and is still feeling, but I can tell you how it made me feel. When I first walked into her house and David wasn't there it really hit me hard that I would never again get picked on or get one of his famous loving Bear Hugs. He was David, and he was gone. My heart was breaking and not just for myself but for my Aunt Darlene and his family, too. That Sunday was his funeral and I remember the feeling I had most-LOVE. Love for David, for all his family and friends, for my family and friends. I just wanted to hug everyone and make sure they all knew how much I really loved them no matter if I didn't know them all that well or not. I was seriously bursting with love and tears. That night, I believe, or maybe the next night, we went out to eat and still I had the "need" to hug and say I love you to my other aunts and uncles that I see all the time but never really have that intimate moment with. Then a few weeks later came Christmas morning at my grandmas house with my close family. I remember I had that same loving feeling. I ended up being the only one, that as soon as I came in, to give a hug to every person that was there. I was happy to be there with them, and I'm pretty sure they knew at that moment I really loved them. So, for me, with death came love.

In loving memory of my Dear Friend and Uncle David may you rest in Peace.

{Edited March 1, 2010} I just wanted to add a quote and this here song. Love it.

As for the quote; "Sometimes it takes a funeral to see how blessed we are to have life."