Bobby, Right now you are

Published August 21st, 2005 by Bobby Henderson

Bobby, Right now you are behaving in a manner that is a disgrace to Roseburg & our schools. You need to come to know Jesus Christ as your Savior, He created you & loves you. Only if you accept Him will you be with Him in heaven some day. Don’t miss out! Roseburg Christian – Mike and Joan Lorenzen -

13 Responses to “Bobby, Right now you are”

Frankly the bit about “Don’t miss out! Roseburg Christian” reads like an advert to me. Is this the same as “Jesus is coming, look busy”? I have no idea who this Roseberg is and have no intention of finding out.

* You need to come to know Jesus Christ as your Savior.
Many people were. And then, to his supporters’ astonishment (and his own – “Eli Eli lama sabachthani?”), Jesus was executed like an ordinary criminal and died. Some say he would rise after three days and three nights in his grave (Matthew 12:40), but his body was already missing on the second day – the grave was found empty. There were some theories predicting he would return before everyone then alive died, but that time passed almost twenty centuries ago. It was probably all a myth after all… let’s get on with our lives.

“Only if you accept Him will you be with Him in heaven some day.”
So I guess anyone who died before Jesus was born (if indeed he existed in the first place), is just f###ed. And all those who lived and died without ever hearing about him. Mankind’s savior? FAIL

Yeah, I’ve always had a problem with this thinking, too. Some people have told me that when the gates were opened, everyone who’d been waiting outside was let in on a technicality, but even if that’s true, it took nearly 1500 years for the bible to cross the Atlantic Ocean. What about the millions of native North and South Americans who died in the meantime? The baptism is supposed to cover children from birth until they’re old enough to understand and accept god for themselves, but what about the developmentally challenged? Is there a cut off date, where if you haven’t figured out the rules yet, you’re screwed? Too many questions, not enough practical answers.

Didn’t you hear, Reverend? The Mormons contend that Jeebus DID visit North America, but the Christian faith he founded there died out, apparently along with horses, cattle, sheep, the art of making armor, etc, etc.