Female PUAs

The Rise Of Female Pickup Artists

It’s not 1855 (or even 1955) anymore, so most of us understand that a woman making the first move isn’t a reason to gather a posse and start a witch-hunt. A hot girl hits on you at a bar? Great. She strolls up to you at a show and coolly asks for your number? Even better. But what if she’s a full-on 2013 Don Juan? What if she’s memorized the rules of Neil Strauss’ The Game, too, and can play you like a Russian chess champ?

It’s been almost eight years since The Game exposed the “secret” world of pickup artists (PUAs) and spawned hundreds of new ones who hit up the clubs and practiced gentlemanly tactics like manipulation and NEGS (things you say to a chick to slightly lower her self-esteem) to lure women into bed. The movement is still out there, even though it’s mostly seen as lame, offensive and sleazy. But what would happen if the tables were turned — if women became the PUAs? There are signs that, among some women, it’s becoming a thing.

It’s a pretty even playing field today, unless you’re still operating under some antiquated Gone With the Wind-era dating rules. I’ve approached guys, asked them for their number, and most women I know have, too. I read Robert Greene’s book The Art of Seduction a few years ago after a breakup, because I’d been out of the dating world for a long time and had no clue what to do. Eventually, I took a lot of chances, even telling one guy, “This is just a one-night stand; we’re not exchanging numbers or anything.” I had never had a one-night stand and thought it might feel empowering — which it did. That is, until he asked for my number the next morning and I gave it to him. Then it was just dating as usual. But some women are beginning to approach the pickup in a more full-throttle way.

Arden Leigh, the author of the book The New Rules of Attraction and a self-described “Weapon of Mass Seduction” (and one of the few women who can legitimately be called a female PUA), says, “A lot of young women are frustrated by books like The Rules or He’s Just Not That Into You — books that are about what not to do, and teach you how to score a great guy by not doing the wrong things. They advocate passivity and glorify idleness — it doesn’t ring true for women of my generation.” It’s no wonder some women want to hurl these books back to the 1950s and make the first move.