GET OUT: Stomp and circumstance

Make wine with your feet -- but make sure there are no cameras rolling -- next weekend at the S.I. Zoo

Be careful getting your paesano moves on next weekend at the Staten Island Zoo's Festa Italiana.

Or you, too, could be (in)famous.

If you don't know what we're talking about, surf YouTube.com and search for "The Grape Lady."

The classic viral video chronicles a Fox newswoman's attempt at grape stomping. Within a minute, she stomps into overdrive, loses her balances, falls out of a barrel and plunges off a platform to the ground, unleashing a series of "ow, ow, ow owwwww" yelps.

Think you'd never be such a stunod? Try grape stomping yourself at the Zoo's Italian culture bonanza.

"There's always the famous Lucy and Ethel scene that captures America's spirit and laughter," says John Caltabiano, executive director of the Zoo. "No one who saw that can not stop laughing. We're going to try to duplicate that."

The Zoo sets it up like this: Five big foots square off at once. Whoever crushes the most juice out of their grapes in three minutes wins a prize. Gift certificates for restaurants, bottles of wine, delis and bakeries are among the goodies.

Don't worry about splatter attacks -- the grapes will be in sealed baggies.

"And we'll have hoses ready to wash anyone down that wants to be washed down," promises Caltabiano.

The idea of the Festa is to give due to the 38 percent of the Island's population who claimed Italian ancestry in the 2000 census. One in 23 borough residents or 4.4 percent speaks Italian, according to the poll.

Growing up on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, the San Gennaro Festival in Little Italy was a huge deal to Caltabiano, his friends and family. "Everyone pulled together and enjoyed the whole feeling of a feast," he says. "That's something that's been missing on Staten Island."

No doubt, the sausage and pepper sandwiches, clams, fried fish, pizza and zeppoles will score as festa faves for some. But for Maurizio Asperti of South Beach nothing will compare to the bocce tournaments. At the Zoo, kiddies can enjoy the animals while getting a lesson about a game many of their grandparents love, says Asperti, 52, whose restaurant in South Beach, Basilio Inn, lures diners onto its bocce court.

Plus, it's fun competition, he says with a laugh. "Nobody wants to lose," he says. "It's a game everyone can participate in, you don't have to be young or strong or extremely coordinated. Anybody can play, but to master it takes a long time."

Festa Italiana WeekendJune 7, 11 a.m.-9 p.m. and June 8, 11 a.m.-7 p.m.
Festivities are included with regular Zoo (614 Broadway, West Brighton) admission with some additional cost for attractions such as the meatball eating contest, food, face painting, bocce and kiddie rides.
Admission: $7 for adults (15 and over), $5 for seniors (65 and over), and $4 for children (3 to 14) and free for children younger than 3. Parking is in the Zoo's Clove Road lot is $5. Grape stomping costs an additional $10. Pose for a still photo against a vineyard backdrop for another $5.
Info: To enter a contest, become a vendor or for information, visit sifestaitaliana.org, e-mail info@siitaliana.org or call 718-442-3101.