How to prank your work BFF

April 22, 2017

When I’m feeling mischievous, nothing will stand in my way of a good prank. Here are 6 ways to mess with your coworkers.

1. The Rogue Mouse

The rogue mouse is a beginners tactic, but the effects are far too enjoyable to rule this one out. If you work at bigfancytechco like me, you all use wireless apple mice. This is an opportunity for funny. So, you show up a few minutes early, when the coast is clear you swoop in like a hawk, grab that mouse, and replace it with another one. (yours, someone else’s? oh, that would be funny. If you have the balls, switch around everyones mice at work and let them figure it out.) Then you watch from afar, giggling like an idiot, mimicking their movements. You have to play it cool. Don’t be making spin art on their screen is all i’m saying.

2. The Enter Key

This is especially funny if someone has a group chat window open, or is commonly trolling your chat. You just need a little piece of tape to hold down the enter key. It doesn’t do anything to their desktop, and they can still click around on the web, but once they start typing into a chat window…

e

v

e

r

y

single letter will be sent separately. Your coworkers will hate them. Alternatively, if they have a wireless keyboard, but usually are working on their laptop (ahem MacBook Pro to be precise) you can tape down their enter key and then put the keyboard out of sight. They’ll have to turn off their bluetooth to escape your powers.

3. Dicksbymail

This is one that requires an investment… but the three times I did it were all worth it 10 fold. So before I worked for bigfancytechco I worked at smallbrokestartup and we ran a social media site. Some of our users liked to troll the admins. So I send dicksbymail addressed to one of our admins, that way there would be no speculation of coworker on coworker crime. It’s really hard to contain your laughter when someone is equally as offended as excited about receiving a bunch of gummy dicks in the mail from a secret admirer. After that I was hooked. There’s no stopping me now. Besides HR.

4. The Los Angeles

The first time I saw shoes hanging over a wire was when I was in Los Angeles as a 10 year old. I’ve heard a bunch of stuff about what it symbolizes, gang turf, or gang initiation, right of passage, ‘drugs sold here’ sign, neighborhood borders… I don’t know. But when I realized that my running shoes were dangling from the ceiling… I laughed. Mostly because I have never wore them in the 2 years I’ve owned them… because I DON’T RUN. Alas, someone got me back for the first time. This prank is for your coworker who goes on a run during lunch and comes back a sweating hog breathing hot onion breath on you. Or, it’s for the guy who lifts, bro. Tie those laces up and toss them over the exposed piping in your industrial brick loft office located in SOMA San Francisco.

5. Glitter bomb

There are some variations of the glitter bomb. (a) You can send a card filled with glitter, addressed to your office bff, or worst frenemy. There are even services who will do it for you. When they pull the card out of the envelope.. out pours hundreds of thousands of pink and purple glitter specks. Your friends pants are ruined and now they have to clean it off the floor. Sucker. (b) There is also the packaged glitter bomb which requires planning, effort and money. To make it easy I’ll list this in steps.

1. Find a 4x4x4 or similarly sized square box

2. Get 4 small or 1 big spring that will fit in the box with enough tension to, ya’know.. explode this shit all over their face!

3. Cut out a 4.000009 x 4.000000876 piece of cardboard

4. Hot glue everything. Come on you know what goes where.

When your friend opens the box, assuming they open it in the right direction, POOF. Imagine their hair. I’ve had mild successes, I don’t want the springs to be so strong that I blind them, ya know. But if you don’t care if they are blind then go for it, I guess.

6. THIS ONE IS DUCKED UP! When your BFF steps away from their MacBook, press command + spacebar, type ‘keyboard’ and press enter. Select the top tab “Text”. Create a new entry, and get creative. Here are some examples:

replace I love you with go fuck yourself

replace sincerely with gingerly

replace lol with k.

replace their name with Dick

replace their significant others name with Natalie, Madison, Liam, or Anthony

really piss them off by changing fucking to ducking

or make them look stupid by replacing there/their, are/our, here/hear, meet/meat.

good luck! this is your decision, not mine. but let me know how it goes.