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Friday, December 30, 2011

It's sort of become my tradition that my last post of the year is a month by month summary of my writing journey over the past twelve months. (You can find 2010's post HERE and 2009's post HERE). And since this year was a BIG year, it was kind of crazy to look back and see how far I'd come. Lots of ups and downs and twists and turns and unexpected happiness. I hope you guys enjoy!

January

Saved from myself

I had high hopes going into 2011, promising myself that THIS would be the year I'd sell a book. But a number of revision woes paired with the realization that it'd been a year since I first met Laura at a conference and had nothing to show for it except a pile of discarded revisions (and, of course, an AMAZING agent--which I was very grateful for) made me start to doubt that this project was *really* going to get me anywhere. So I started considering a terrifying option (starts with "sh" and rhymes with "delve"). I even asked Laura if she thought we should put the project aside--but she convinced me to keep going. A few days later I went to ALA midwinter and ended up talking with someone at the Simon & Schuster booth. She asked me about my book and after I described it, she strongly recommended I have Laura submit the project to Liesa Abrams when it was done, saying it sounded like something she would like. That turned out to be a VERY good suggestion--but more on that later.

February

Broadening my horizons

Back in December, I'd made plans with a friend to attend the San Francisco Writer's Conference--and the time had finally come! But I was excited AND terrified because it was my first time traveling anywhere by myself (probably hard to believe with all the traveling I've done recently--but this was the beginning of that). And I'll admit, I was more than a little nervous when I got there. Fortunately, it didn't take me long to adjust and I realized, Hey--I can do this traveling-by-myself thing! I even figured out how to catch a train to meet my lovely agent for lunch (got off at the right stop on the first try--you have no idea what a miracle that is!!!!) And while Laura and I were talking, she suggested I attend the Big Sur Writers' Workshop in a few weeks to get some additional feedback on my draft. It took a few calls to convince my husband, and several emails to get squeezed in after registration had already closed, but then it was settled. I was traveling again--this time by road trip!

March

Committed

Not sure if it was the 7 hour drive I did (by myself!) to get up to Monterey for the conference, or the amazing (albeit somewhat intense) revision advice I picked up while I was there--but I came home from Big Sur feeling like I could conquer the world and DETERMINED to make my publishing dream a reality. Cue a chaotic three weeks where I pushed myself harder and wrote and revised more than I EVER thought I could. And... ended up sick as dog because of it. (I am such a bad example when it comes to taking care of myself).

April

Unexpected

Thanks to the Head-Cold-Of-Doom (which I'm fairly certain was actually walking pneumonia--go me!) April was a bit of a slow month. Especially since it also involved a bit of WAITING. (Oh publishing, why do you do it to us?) But it ended with a bang. I was still under the hazy fog of cold medicine when my phone rang out of the blue one evening with Laura's name in the caller ID. Her first words were, "I'm so sorry for the emotional roller coaster I'm about to put you through" and my heart sank thinking, she's dropping me as a client. But no--it wasn't that (thank goodness). She'd heard from Liesa Abrams about my book (yes, my book was on submission--hence the WAITING)--and Liesa had loved what she'd read. BUT, before I could get too excited, Laura told me she needed a synopsis for books 2 and 3--A.S.A.P. And...I didn't have one. *head explodes*

May

Dreams Come True

After much scrambling and panicking and pulling-of-all-nighters, I managed to assemble the synopsis we needed and Laura sent it to Liesa and promised she would let me know when she heard back. Naturally that meant I kept TRYING not to think about it, whilst stressing and worrying and thinking about it constantly. Four days later my phone showed Laura's number again and I answered it, preparing myself for the worst. BUT IT WAS AMAZING NEWS. A three book offer. I... kind of went into shock. Especially since it was a pre-empt, which meant decisions had to be made quickly. A few hours later, Liesa and I had "the call" (most amazing two hours ever!!!) and, after two days of back and forth phone calls and emails with Laura to iron out all the details, it was official. Liesa Abrams was my editor. I WAS GOING TO BE PUBLISHED!!!!!! And then Laura had to go and say, "but we won't announce until we have the contract." Major buzz kill. :D

June

Waiting

Keeping secrets is hard. Keeping huge, life changing secrets is even harder! But even though my book deal was The-World's-Most-Impossible-To-Keep secret, it was also very much a reality. I got my first round of edits (equal parts scary and exciting) and set to work on them. And at the end of the month I flew to New Orleans to meet some friends at ALA and got a tiny glimpse of what it's like to be an S&S author. Everyone at the booth knew who I was--and they even snuck me into the S&S party one of the evenings. But the best part was that the girl I'd met at ALA in January was there, and I got to personally thank her for suggesting we send my draft to Liesa. I will be forever grateful for her amazing matchmaking skills.

July

Still waiting

Another month of secret keeping. I was starting to get really good at avoiding questions or giving the kind of vague answers that don't actually tell anyone anything. (I would make an excellent politician at this point). But I kept myself busy by finishing up my revision and going to Comic Con--where I got to meet more of the awesome S&S team and became thoroughly convinced I'm with the best publisher ever. All I needed was for their legal department to get me my contract so I could share the happy news.

August

STILL waiting!!!!

Still no contract (have I mentioned that publishing is slow?) but this month I had far too much going on to really feel the waiting. I had SCBWI LA, where I got to meet my awesome editor in person (it's amazing I didn't tackle hug her right there in the lobby!) and spend three days following her around like a lost puppy soaking up as much Liesa time as I could and realizing just how lucky I am to have such a kind, smart, funny, FABULOUS editor to work with. And the rest of the month was swallowed up by the chaos that is WriteOnCon. I really can't explain how we pulled together such an amazing (and exhausting) conference--but we were able to help far more people than I ever thought possible. The success stories are still trickling in. (And I'm still recovering) :)

September

OMG--are we seriously still waiting????

Okay, I'll admit, at this point the waiting was getting a *tiny* bit old. Especially since I FINALLY got my contract (huge, HUGE moment, btw). But we still couldn't announce because S&S had decided that we needed to change my title and Laura wanted to use the new one in the announcement. And unfortunately, I SUCK at titles (no really, I have a blog post percolating on this subject--titles are NOT my friend). So I spent the next few weeks sending lists of suggestions--which were all rejected (because they were horrible)--and driving Laura and Liesa (and probably everyone else I talked to) crazy because I could not find a name for my impossible-to-title book. But all the frustration finally paid off when we landed on KEEPER OF THE LOST CITIES, a title I absolutely love. And I promise I will tell you the story of how we got there someday--it's a good one.

October

FINALLY!!!!!!

With the title in place, Laura put the announcement into PM and PW and the news was FINALLY out there. Which led to one of the most surreal weeks of my life. Everyone's support and enthusiasm was seriously overwhelming, and I will never be able to properly explain how much it meant to me. And it was SUCH a relief to be able to talk publicly about what I had going on--especially since my copy edits arrived and DUDE. I am not a fan of those things. Thank goodness I could finally whine about them to all of you (somehow I suspect you guys were less excited about that).

November

Reality

Now that I was done with the waiting I expected life to go back to normal. But what I didn't realize is that my life has a slightly new definition for "normal" now, one that includes lots of switching gears, and balancing different things. So November became all about learning how to juggle. I wish I could say that I've perfected the system for it, but it's still very much a work in progress. In the meantime I'm getting really good at setting priorities and making To Do lists and tackling things one at a time.

December

Bring it on!

Still lots of chaotic things going on, but I've switched my primary focus to the item with the highest priority: writing book 2. Not gonna lie--it's SCARY writing a sequel, and I have spent more time than I'd like to admit worrying that I won't be able to pull it off. BUT, I finally realized that every step of my journey so far has been nothing more than me doing the best I can, working hard, leaning on people who are smarter than me, and trusting that I can do it. So... I'm just going to keep doing that. Word by word, page by page, revision by revision, I'll get there. I just have to believe.

*Whew*

Yep--it's official. 2011 was a CRAZY year. And I have a feeling 2012 is going to be even more exciting/chaotic/eventful. I really have no idea what I'm in for--but I have no doubt it's going to be a wild ride. I really hope you'll come along with me!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Okay, I know it's not *technically* 2012 yet--but what can I say? I'm impatient--and I HAD to launch my shiny new blog design the second it was ready.

ISN'T IT PRETTY?????????????????????

I've been blogging for two and a half years and this is my first time having an actual, custom template/header. It's so cool to have one that's just so... me. Every tiny detail is 100% Shannon now. A perfect way to start what will probably be one of the most exciting years of my life--the year my book finally hits shelves!!!!

MORE EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Hee--can you guys tell I'm writing this with a fever? Stupid head cold won't go away!)

Anyway, huge, HUGE thanks go to my friend Erin Bowman, who seriously deserves a prize for her long suffering and patience (and ability to wade through lengthy emails filled with lots of, "maybe we should try this, or THIS or THIS!!!!!!!")and coming up with this PERFECT design. I pretty much owe her a lifetime supply of cupcakes. Or maybe my first born child. (Erin, if it were me--I'd go with the cupcakes) ;)

And btw, if you guys don't know Erin already I STRONGLY recommend you get thee to her blog straight away. Not only is she one of the sweetest people ever, but she's an incredibly talented writer with a crazy-awesome YA trilogy launching in 2013. Trust me--you want to know her. And you want to read TAKEN.

Okay, I *think* that's enough all caps and exclamation mark abuse for one day (well... maybe FEW more) (!!!!!!!!!!!).

There. That should do it. See you guys tomorrow for a contest and Friday for a special end-of-the-year post. Hope you're all having a good week!

I have a new goal. A slightly-more-realistic-but-still-relatively-impossible goal that I AM DETERMINED TO DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO MEET.

So, since this week is generally a super quiet week in the blogosphere--and I could REALLY use the extra writing time--I've decided to take the week off of blogging. (I know, I'm sure you're all DEVASTATED by this news.) But I will be back next week for some end-of-the-year posts and contests and whatnot that I hope you'll stop by for.

In the meantime, I hope everyone has a lovely, lovely week filled with all kinds of wonderful, happy things. Me? I have a date with my W.I.P. And I intend to kick some serious MS boot-ay. ;)

Oh, and despite the slow blogging week (and my total failure to support my own meme--#Shannonfail), there are a few MMGM's going on:

- The lovely Shannon O'Donnell always has an MMGM ready for you! Click HERE to see what she's featuring this week!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Those of you who've been following me for a while know that every year, right around this time, the Hubs and I head to Vegas.

It's a weird tradition that has mostly to do with SUPER cheap hotel rooms and awesome shopping--not to mention Vegas is empty and I hate crowds. But it's also just our fun getaway to soak up some kitschy scenery, eat at some amazing restaurants, and hey--maybe try to relax a bit (I know, we might be the only people who go to Vegas to RELAX instead of party!)

Anyway, if you need me, I will be eating steak frites along the fake Champs de Elysee and hailing fake Caesar with my credit card at the Caesar's forum shops, shopping all the sales. But no, I most definitely will NOT be at any of those crazy shows like Thunder Down Under. Nor will I be--no matter how much the Hubs tries to convince me--at the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop.

(If you watch Pawn Stars, you know what that is. And no--I'm not a fan of the rather boring show. But the Hubs is--and tough, we are not going to a Pawn Shop!)

(ahem)

Anyway, I hope you all have lovely weekends with whatever you will be doing. I'll see you all on Monday!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I'm finally diving back into KEEPER book two drafting (these days my writing schedule is all about juggling). Which meant I spent most of yesterday rereading the few chapters I'd already written--before my last deadline interrupted things--trying to get back in "the groove." And I discovered something surprising:

I actually liked them.

No, that does not mean they were shiny and perfect--I promise you, they weren't. In fact, they need a lot of work. But that's actually what I liked about them--crazy as that may sound. Because what I could really see in those rough chapters was:

I know what I'm doing this time.

As all of you now know (thanks to my post last week) it took me a while to learn how to write KEEPER OF THE LOST CITIES (*coughs* twenty drafts *coughs*). But through that hellish ordeal I learned something important: How to write a book.

More specifically, I learned how *I* write a book.

I learned my drafting process. How I need to overwrite and cut back, because that's how I surprise myself with unplanned scenes that add so much to the story. Even though it means I end up throwing away thousands and thousands of words.

I learned how to really listen to the characters and trust what they're telling me--even if it totally screws up all my plans.

I learned that I can find a solution to any problem I come across. Sometimes it doesn't come easy, but if I think it through and keep at it I will figure it out. There's ALWAYS an answer.

I learned that it's okay to let the early draft be a mess. To keep pushing forward anyway and deal with cleaning it up later, once the whole story is in place

And I could see all of that reflected in my first few chapters. Sure, there were lots of places where the writing needed some polish or trimming, and the characters were already starting to steer me a few places I hadn't planned on going. But... that's my process. And I can see that this time. I can see where the strengths and weaknesses are, what's working and what isn't, and what I need to do. Which is the most important thing I learned throughout those twenty drafts.

I've learned to trust my instincts. Sure, those with a sharper eye than me (*waves to Laura and Liesa*) will ALWAYS catch important things I miss. But... I also know what I'm doing. I know the process I need to go through to write MY books. And as long as I know that, I can do it.

Which is probably the best piece of advice I can give any writer. Figure out how YOU write. Sure, craft books and other writers can give you pointers. But in the end, that can only tell you how THEY write. You need to figure out how YOU write. Try different things. Figure out what works for you and what doesn't. And once you find your method, stick to it and believe in it.

That's what I'm doing, anyway. I'm wading back into the muck of book two, believing I'll find my way through if I just keep pushing forward. Here's hoping I'm right! Bring it on Book Two--I am CONQUERING YOU!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

It only has the ebook version so far (don't worry, the hardcover WILL be added--these things just have a weird way of updating in their own inexplicable order)--but it's there!

THAT'S MY BOOK!

And ... I know things like this are GOING to happen (if they didn't that would be kind of bad, I mean, I kinda need my book to become available to buy places).

But yeah, getting a google alert for my book and finding it on Amazon with my name as the author was one of those seriously surreal moments.

(and my author name is a link--you can click it and everything!!!) (*clicks*) (*clicks again*)

(I'm betting most of you don't find that nearly as exciting as I do!)

But... YOU GUYS--THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it's happening soon. In fact, since Amazon has spilled the beans for me, I guess this means I can share my current, official release date. KEEPER OF THE LOST CITIES is scheduled to launch into the world on...

*drumroll*

...

10 . 02 . 2012

(!!!!!)

I really <3 all those pretty 1s, 0s, and 2s in there

:)

Oh, but I wouldn't go tattooing that anywhere if I were you guys (since I'm SURE you're all planning on doing that). Release dates are notorious for changing, so it's very possible that will not stay my release date. But, for the moment, that's the official date. And um... holy crap that's SOON!

*bites nails*

*stares at pre-order button*

*wonders if she should order one just to see if it works*

*realizes how lame that is*

*isn't sure she cares*

So... that's my week so far. How's yours going?????

*My mentioning this is NOT any sort of "buy it on amazon" endorsement, btw. Obviously I am happy and honored if anyone decides to buy my book--anywhere, in any format. But... my heart will always truly belong to Indies.

So I thought I'd use this week's post to give a quick history of MMGM, and explain how it works for those who don't already know. (I swear--this has nothing to do with me being behind on my reading) (okay, fine, it does) (but I do actually get asked those questions a lot) (so there!) (hee)

Okay, so... MMGM stands for Marvelous Middle Grade Monday, and it's a meme I created to help spread the love for middle grade in the blogosphere. If someone wants to be a part, all they have to do is blog on a Monday about a middle grade book they love--ANY middle grade book they love--and email me a link to their post so I can add it to the master list on my blog. Then everyone can hop from blog to blog, soak up all the awesome book recommendations, and connect with other middle grade fans. Simple, easy--and a whole lot of fun.

And I came up with the idea because... well... honestly? I'd realized that I was being a HORRIBLE middle grade supporter.

No really--I was.

Not only had I noticed that middle grade didn't get a lot of attention in the blogosphere, but ... I'd noticed that whenever I blogged about anything middle-grade related, it was my lowest trafficked post--by far. And since I was working hard to build up my following and increase my traffic, I'd started avoiding talking about middle grade as much as possible. Especially on Mondays--which were my peak traffic days.

And then, about a year ago, I realized: WHAT AM I DOING??????

I am a middle grade writer and I'm avoiding talking about middle grade??????

So I decided I needed to change that--stat. If my middle grade posts weren't popular that just meant I wasn't trying hard enough. I needed to make them more exciting--and I needed to find other people who loved middle grade and connect with them. And so MMGM was born.

I chose Monday specifically because it was the day I'd previously given an "absolutely-no-middle-grade-mentions" policy. Plus, I figured if I wanted to give the books a PROPER spotlight, they deserved my highest traffic day. (And of course, it had that handy alliteration).

I decided to focus on one book (or series) a week, and to try and feature them in a way that made it clear who would best appreciate them, which ones were more adult friendly, etc. I also decided that my features would always include a contest--partially to generate more traffic, but mostly because I couldn't think of a better way to spread the love for a book than to help someone else read it. (though contests are not required for other people who participate. That's up to each individual blogger). And then... I decided I would TRY and encourage other bloggers to join me.

I'll admit--I was terrified no one else would. And for the first few weeks, it was just me.

But then... it started to grow. Little by little, my list of links slowly got longer. And every week it grows a little bit more.

Sure, it's no Waiting on Wednesday or In My Mailbox--and it probably never will be. But it's an awesome group of bloggers with a serious passion for middle grade posting about books they love every Monday. To me, that's a huge victory, and I'm amazed every week when I put the list of links together and see all that middle grade love. It's proven that there IS a place for middle grade in the blogosphere.

So I now proudly present... this weeks awesome MMGM links!

- The lovely Shannon O'Donnell always has an MMGM ready for you! Click HERE to see what she's featuring this week!

- Deb Marshall is featuring DOGSLED DREAMS--with an author interview AND a giveaway! Click HERE for all the details.

- Danika Dinsmore has a lovely multicultural read for us this week: HABIBI. Click HERE to learn more about it.

- Gabrielle Prendergast is championing a classic about a kid, a farm house, and a blue ribbon. Click HERE to see what it is.

- Myrna Foster falls in love with DRAGONSDALE. Click HERE see why you should too.

And if you want to join in the MMGM fun, all you have to do is blog about a middle grade book you love (contests, author interviews and whatnot also count--but are most definitely not required) and email me the title of the book you're featuring and a link to your blog. It's easier if you email me before Monday, that way your link will be included in the post from the moment it goes live. But if you decide to spontaneously join the fun, I do update the post at several points throughout the Monday. Just email me a link and I'll add you when I do!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

WOW. I am overwhelmed by all the love and enthusiasm you guys showed for my post yesterday.

Other than my book deal announcement, it was--by far--my highest trafficked post, and I was stunned and amazed by all of you who posted links in forums, or on Facebook or Twitter to share it with other writers. I really had no idea it would garner that strong of a reaction.

I think that's the best thing about being a part of the writing community--it's a COMMUNITY. We support each other, root for each other, share each other's highs and lows. That's the reason I decided to write the post in the first place. I knew there had to be many of you who were going through some version of what I went through and feeling discouraged/frustrated/heartbroken. And I wanted you to know that you are not alone.

You really aren't, I promise.

Aside from a VERY small handful of flukey exceptions, every author has their own war story of what they had to push through in order to get where they are. And it never really stops. Writing isn't easy. Publishing is even harder. You have to WANT it, and be willing to put the work in and to keep going even when you have a million reasons to give up.

But the bright side to that is, I firmly, FIRMLY believe that the only difference between a published author and an unpublished writer is time. Keep going. Keep writing. Sooner or later you will get it RIGHT. And then you will get where you want to be.

In the meantime, we all have each other. To lean on. To learn from. To share battle scars. And to celebrate. Thank you all for always celebrating with me. I very much hope to do the same for each of you someday.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Ever since I announced my book deal, I've had a LOT of people ask me if KEEPER OF THE LOST CITIES is my first book. And... technically it is.

I'd written a few not-so-good screenplays and the first 1/3 to a very bad grown-up novel (me? writing for grown-ups? seriously--what was I thinking?????) before this, but KEEPER is the first book I've ever finished.

However, you should NOT take that answer to mean that I cranked out this story and--bam! A few months later: awesome book deal with dream editor!!! That was most definitely NOT the case. And since I'm all about keeping it real, I thought it was time to share the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth with you guys as far as just how NOT insta-success my writing journey truly was.

So strap yourselves in because in order to properly do that we have to rewind allllllllllllllllllllll the way back to February of 2007. (Yes, really) That's when the idea for KEEPER first came to me.

Two of the main characters were actually part of a short story I was working on. But the more I thought about them, the more I realized they had BIG EXCITING STORIES TO TELL. And even though I knew this series would be incredibly challenging to write, I also knew that it was "The One."

So I started with research. Lots and lots and lots of research.

Every single one of these journals is FILLED with notes, brainstorms, and other odds and ends written in super tiny print. I also put google and wikipedia to very thorough use, printing up all kinds of (often boring) articles and writing lots of notes for myself in the margins.

It took me until December of 2008 to reach a point where I felt like I'd figured out all I needed to figure out in order to tell the story. Then it was time to start writing. Too bad I had NO idea how to do that.

At first I was just sort of... playing around. I'd pick a scene that interested me and I'd write it. I didn't work in any sort of order. I didn't try to connect the scenes together. I'd created a file called Master Draft 1--but I psyched myself out of pasting anything into it because it felt like if I put something in there it had to be PERFECT. So I just kept creating separate scenes in separate files. Which is how I ended up with 103 deleted scenes before I ever wrote one word of a real draft.

103!!!!

Mind you, many are the same scene written 7, 8, 9 different times. But yeah. NOT a smart way to write a book.

I stuck with this ineffective writing method until April of 2009, when I went to Project Book Babe. Then I got to hear real authors talk about their approach to drafting and realized, I'm doing this ALL wrong. More importantly, I realized that I really, really, REALLY wanted to be a published author. So it was time to get my butt in gear and actually write this dang thing for realz.

I came home from the event and started Master Draft 2. And this time I started at the beginning and just wrote. But about halfway into the book I realized yeah... something's wrong. So I copied and pasted the few salvageable parts and started Master Draft 3. Got about halfway into it and realized I was on the wrong track again. Rinse and repeat with Master Drafts 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10, with each draft falling apart by the time I reached the middle. And by draft 10 I was getting afraid that I'd never figure it out.

So I went back to brainstorming. Reread all my idea journals. Read a truckload of other middle grade novels trying to learn what they were doing right. And after a few weeks I finally had an epiphany. It wasn't that something was WRONG with my idea. It was that something was MISSING.

I'd held back too many of my ideas, thinking I should save them for books 2 and 3. But I hadn't done enough with book 1 to make anyone want to continue with the story. So I needed to go back and add MORE.

Which... basically meant throwing out everything I had and starting all over AGAIN. But at least I had a plan this time!

Well... sorta.

It took me Master Drafts 11 and 12 to figure out the best way to properly weave the new plotlines in. I'd also started working with crit partners, and they caught several fundamental plot and craft mistakes, all of which made me go back and re-write a lot of things to fix those errors. So I didn't actually type "The End" and have a complete draft of the entire story until Master Draft 13.

13!!!

That was in January of 2010. And sadly, that was STILL only the beginning.

I queried Master Draft 13 at the end of February. Two weeks later I had an offer of representation from Laura Rennert, my #1 wish list agent. It was very, very exciting. BUT, Laura's offer also said this:

"I want to be completely upfront with you about the fact that there is still work to be done on the ms, so you can make the decision about whether I'm the right agent for you or not. I hope I am!"

She went on to elaborate her revision ideas, most of which involved building on things she felt were currently underdeveloped in the draft--and she was spot on with all her suggestions. So I accepted her offer of representation and she sent me my VERY detailed revision notes (5 single spaced pages!!!).

I worked through each and every note, and sent her back Master Draft 14--which earned me an email that basically said, "you're close." She also included another two pages of notes, but at that point I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I cranked through the revision super quick. Which brought me to Master Draft 15.

I'll confess, I really really thought it was "The One." So did Laura. And in some ways, it was close. But it still wasn't RIGHT, as we found out the hard way when it started piling up rejections. And in the end Laura told me:

"I think you're extremely talented ... and I believe we're going to get there, but maybe not with this iteration."

Yeah ... that was hard.

What made it harder was that I really didn't know where to go from there. All I knew was that I needed to change things--but I had no idea what to change. So I just sort of dove in blind and started tweaking stuff--NOT the best approach to a revision.

Especially since I wrote that revision from a place of fear and insecurity--which was NOT a healthy mindset to be creative. I knew it was probably affecting my writing, but I couldn't squelch the self-doubt. So I just did the best I could, sent off Master Draft 16 and hoped Laura would be happier with it than I was.

She wasn't.

Instead I got what I now lovingly refer to as The Email of Doom. The first sentence was:

"You've done good work on this... I'm wondering, though, if you need to step back and consider going deeper still..."

Followed by 13 (yes--13!!!) single spaced pages of comments/suggestions. And this time she was suggesting BIG changes.

I ... cried for an entire day.

I felt like I would NEVER get the draft right--and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to work on it anymore. I was SO tired of tearing my book apart and trying to piece it back together. I didn't know if I could do it again.

So I typed up an email saying, "I give up"--and then emailed my crit partners begging them to stop me from sending it to Laura. They told me to ask for a phone call, and then they helped me brainstorm a plan of attack to discuss with her. Laura and I talked a few days later and I felt a little better and decided to try one. more. time. But when I finally got to work it was still the hardest revision I've ever done.

Every time I opened the draft I got nauseous. I lost a lot of weight. I barely slept. Eventually I caved and asked Laura to check the first few chapters to see what she thought, and definitely cried when I heard back:

"I think you're totally on track!"

And I should pause here and also emphasize that while yes, Laura was pushing me HARD throughout this process, she also did do her best to encourage me. She always slipped little notes like this in her emails:

"I completely believe in you. We are going to get there one way or another."

And that helped, because I really needed to hear that--and I *tried* to believe her. But it was still a super painful process, and when I finally turned in Master Draft 17 I was a nervous wreck waiting for feedback. Every time I saw an email pop up in my inbox I got a stomach ache, worrying it was going to be another Email of Doom--and wondering if I'd survive it if it was.

But when I did finally hear back, I got this:

"I'm wowed by what you've accomplished with this revision! You've done an amazing job and have been willing to go deep in a way that I know is daunting, and I believe the results are superb"

She still had some small tweaks and adjustments for me (would you expect anything less at this point?), so I created Master Draft 18, made the changes and sent it to her. And that's when she finally, FINALLY said the words I'd been waiting to hear:

"Absolutely fantastic work! We're ready to go, and you've done a phenomenal job with the revision."

I had to read it three times to believe it. And yes--I TOTALLY cried. But they were happy tears this time. :)

It'd taken me 2 years of research and another 2 years of writing/revising--and 18 drafts!!!!--but I was finally, FINALLY done.

Not long after that we went on submission, and I'll admit, after all I'd been through with the project I had a hard time believing it could really land me book deal. Which was why I was totally confused when my phone rang with Laura's name in the caller ID. I NEVER expected her to tell me I had a three book pre-empt offer from an editor whose books I'd admired for years.

But Laura forwarded me the offer so I could see it myself. And it was REAL. And probably the most amazing thing I'd ever read.

Well... until Liesa sent me this, after the deal was finalized and she was officially working as MY editor:

"I did my closer read/edit of the manuscript, and had SO MUCH FUN doing it. Seriously, I loved the book even more this time, which I didn't think possible, but it helps getting to read it knowing it's something that's officially mine now. :)"

And amazingly enough, when I got my edits she didn't have too terribly many notes for me (at least not compared to the Email of Doom). But she did of course have SOME (that is kind of her job, after all). So that brought me to Master Draft 19.

I've never officially created any further drafts for the project, but I did make some changes during copyedits--and will probably make a few more tweaks in the next read-through. So I think it's more than fair to say that when it finally goes to print you guys will be reading Master Draft 20.

Yes, that's right.

20!!!

It took me 20 drafts to write my first book.

And I'm telling all of you that (well... those of you who've stuck with me through this rather lengthy post) because I don't want any of you to ever get discouraged if you have to scrap a draft and start over--or shelve a project and move onto something new. Writing is a process.

Yes, sometimes that process goes smoother for some authors than others. (Or for some books. So far Book 2 is coming MUCH easier than Book 1). But the majority of the time authors will tell you their journey was a long, hard, revision-filled road to get that first book deal--and that even then it was only the beginning. That's definitely been the case for me.

I'm not embarrassed that it took me that many drafts to write my first book. Sure, it would've been nice if it hadn't been *quite* such a painful process. But that was the path I had to take in order to learn how to tell this particular story. And in the end, all that mattered was that I stuck with it and kept going, despite how brutal it was at times. Which is--in my humble opinion--the secret to publishing success. Keep going. Keep writing. Keep pushing yourself to grow and improve.

Your journey *may* take longer than you think and it *may* be more work than you expected. But if you stick with it you WILL get there. I promise!

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