21.5.11

Sentiment

Things are getting overwhelmed. I have no confidence anymore that I could or able to cope with all these things at once, which I am not good with it. Still feeling down even I have told my friends and get some consultation from them. I am totally screwed up. Just feeling tired at this moment, as there are just too many things are waiting for me to deal with. I know that I could solve it and get it done step by step one day and there are always solutions for every trouble or matters. But we human being just hardly to let go on something that we are holding on it. Because when we know we are holding on it, means we still have it, chances are it’s still belonging to us. But what if, we put it down or let it go? Does it matter a lot? I think it twice. Being happy, is always matter. Just because of that, I had a bad habit on turning down people when I start off on some jobs, and I cant hold it long because I just think that I am not happy with it, no matter how much you paid me. Happiness is always the main concern. Frankly, I cant imagine how I am going to get my permanent job after I graduate, since I am so skeptical and picky in selecting job that I like. I don’t know. Perhaps I would like to give a try. Try as in maybe I have a chance to commit myself in a job, take my responsibilities at least. No matter how, I think I need to get back my motivation in doing all these things. To make my life different and beautiful and excited. If not, like everyone else, waiting for the end of the day, and end up with doing nothing. I just don’t want to be ordinary people like that. Give me a break and I will be back. =)