first against the wall

A List Of People Who Should Not Be Tried For Treason

Today we learned that all reporters including Jerome Corsi should be executed for treason in honor of Free Speech Week, because Orwell. This led to discussion in the secret Wonket chatcave about trying for treason those who made the pickles on McDonald’s anusburgers too bland, but then we realized it would be much easier and quicker to determine those who should not be tried for treason, because we are lazy and it’s ever so much shorter. Presented for your edification and terror, the Compleat Liste of Those Who Maye Live.

Ann Coulter

Frank Luntz

Gallagher

Donald Trump

Neil Bush

Antonin Scalia

Clint Eastwood, duh

Stacey Dash

Andrew Breitbart’s corpse

The poor Republican chair that was forced against its will to stand in for the Kenyan Usurper Sorry, but that chair should be totally lynched

Whoever invented mayonnaise

Janeane Turner

Whoever it was who elbowed Obama in the face during basketball

Martin Luther King, who was a Republican and who would totally agree with Grover Norquist now

Ronald Reagan’s corpse, but not Ronald Reagan’s actual record, which shall be put to sleep in a respectful ceremony

I was just thinking, that is SO civilized. Back when they were executing folks in the old homeland, in the bad old days, of course, they NEVER offered you a seat. Shit, you were lucky if they did it quick with a bullet.

Oh you shouldn't have edited for me! You beat me fair and square! (and just right)

rickmaci

My Dad taught me two important lessons when I was a kid. One was that it was better to play nice with girls than to always be trying to make them cry. I didn't really understand what he meant until I was about 14 and then it all fell into place. Of course, my Dad was a diehard Democrat too.

True story. Stayed at the New Orleans W with some friends. At probably precisely 2 AM (I don't know, I was fucking asleep) the dude in the next room starts wailing on his GF. When I called the front desk during the ruckus at 0200, the smarmy/superior front desk guy says "Are you enjoying your W experience, Mr. Wonderin?"

Well at least this will finally put an end to Sarah Palin's incessant mindless yammering .

BaldarTFlagass

I doubt it.

bikerlaureate

Looks like a decent start to a list of legislators for the New Confederate States of Amercia.

Indiepalin

Chet Morton

kyeshinka

Santa. Had to replace the carpet after last Christmas eve's all-night bonkfest with Prancer in the den.

MacRaith

Is it a coincidence that the ad I'm seeing at the top of the page is for "3 Early Signs of Dementia"? I think not!

cognachas4paws

My comment was deleted for some unknown reason and I had an important question. Let me try again – who will be doing the executing? Someone who knows what they're doing and doesn't just play at a range somewhere? I ask because I'm a delicate little thing and I don't want to suffer.

sullivanst

Did you ask who was going to pull the tr1gger? Because whereas Your Wonket will let you say every word on George Carlin's list as much as you want, tr1gger is streng verboten.

cognachas4paws

Oh, I did use that word. Oops.

Jus_Wonderin

To get around this you can type it in reverse. Reggirt or Girt. I got nothing.

sullivanst

A very small of users are special and can type forbidden words. The rest of us mortals can use obvious typos, numbers in place of letters, or if we want to look like we're fancy like Chet, unicode characters from the Cyrillic range (which has letters that render the same as a, c, e, i, o and y, but which IntentDebased is not smart enough to spot). That's a lot of hassle for a little word, though ;)

No it isn't. People used to *specialize* in keeping the victims alive long enough for the executioner to pull out their liver and show it to them.

I SO do not want to see my liver!

Biff

No pickles other than Wickles for me, ever again.

BadKitty904

Yeah, buddy!

Antispandex

Um, Honey Boo Boo's mamma, and everyone who looks and acts like her, and all of her married relations (Ok, which, I admit, maybe the same thing), and everyone who is all proud of being rednecky. Also. Especially if they used to be Governor of a far northern state, but are NOT racist.

Every rape baby? Surely some of them must be annoying in some way or other. I say only save the boys, and only if they agree to rape someone when they grow up, out of respect for their fathers.

Estproph

I'm sure I saw this in a Star Trek episode.

Jus_Wonderin

I had to let this settle in, but yes, there was an episode where two warring planets computerized their casualties with predictive routines. Then the "dead" would be herded into vaporizing machines. And no, they didn't have Vick Vapor Rub in the machine.

Was actually kind of scary to me. In that, a society could, over years, convince its populace to do almost anything.

Estproph

I originally meant this comment as a glib joke. But thinking about it in the context you brought up – yes, it's quite scary. We have "journalistic" organs actually calling for people to be executed for treason because they disagree, and because they support the president. What the fuck is going on?!

Could we possibly save the C Cupp? After all Donald Trump, Neil Bush and Antonin Scalia will need to spread their seed to repopulate New Jeebuzzworld with the right kind of minds and Janeane Turner is really out to pasture and Stacy Dash would be wrong if you know what I mean and MAnn Coulter doesn't count and I don't think SMegman Kelly can handle it all by herself.

Lot_49

Michelle Malkin's not good enough for you, huh?

rickmaci

I kind of think she would be hard on a guy trying to work up an erection. IMHO.

Jus_Wonderin

Oh gawd, presented with this scenario I have to have photos of Marcus Bachmann to get it up.

I don't see Jesus on that list, but then again he never recited the Pledge of Allegiance, never stood for the national anthem, and probably didn't even watch the Super Bowl. And I know he wasn't a gun owner, so all that may explain it.

I do declare, we really are heading for a Hutu-Tutsi moment in this country, and if you think us Yurpeans is too civilized for such tacky African shenanigans, google up on the Saint Bartholomew's Day Massacre. These wingnuts are quite open about wanting liberals, and they do mean all liberals, anyone who doesn't drink the koolaid, dead, and they really should be taken more seriously (like, seriously enough to put them in the asylum or prison for outright threats). People like Coulter, calling for the killing of liberals just to put the fear in the rest of us, really now, no publisher in a sane society should continue to publish such a person. The far right and an amazing number of fucktarded followers would truly in a heartbeat fire up the ovens, synthesize the zyklon B, and do away with us, gladly without a qualm. Its a real thing, when one party uses apocalyptic scare rhetoric coupled with demonizing and dehumanizing their opponents to the point of literally flat out saying that killing democrats is justified and right, for the good of the country. Its quite some world we gots to live in huh? Its nearly three tequilas time.

Doktor Zoom

Ok, but you see, you said "no publisher in a sane society should continue to publish such a person," so YOU are clearly the greater threat to freedom. So to preserve Liberty, you must be executed for trying to take away Wingers' right to call for your execution.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr

[pushes shot glass over] Pour me one also too in addition.

sullivanst

Why need we look up Saint Bartholomew's Day Massacre, when the world's most infamous act of genocide was committed by a white Yurpeen, and a Northern white Yurpeen at that?

ETA: I have on occasion made the observance that Radio Rwanda would certainly have been protected under the Brandenburg standard for First Amendment analysis, and these assholes are proving it near-daily now.

As keen observers of your commenting history, we at PBS have concluded that you are the man best suited in these times to carry on the legacy of the late Fred Rodgers, assuaging the anxieties of schoolchildren daily with your calm and reassuring presence. May we discuss a pilot?

I hope no one seriously thinks Yurpeans are "too civilized for such tacky African shenanigans." I mean, Europe was perpetually at war with itself and the rest of the world prior to WWII. They are no strangers to genocide.

Interesting. Their main difference with Nate Silver is they've got Virginny going blue. Nate Silver has Hopey at 72% and climbing slowly.

sullivanst

Differences in methodology, too – Nate's model appears to factor in a lot more data/variables – and sorry, I just can't credit a 93% win chance, that's too aggressive based on the current state of polling.

I agree with you on this being overly optimistic. 270 to Win has backed-off their previous 90+ projection to 76% which is v. near Silvers late 10/25 projection of 73.1%. Regardless, these numbers cannot be comforting to Mittens.

sullivanst

Yeah, I'm sure the Romney campaign are currently in a state of mostly trying to convince themselves they can replicate their late surges from ad blitzes in primary states. They can't, for three main reasons. First, their primary ad blitzes were overwhelmingly negative, and they worked because votes didn't really know Mitt's opponents – Newt was the only one who'd previously been nationally known, and even he'd spent a long time out of the spotlight; the President, on the other hand, is someone about whom people have already made up their minds. Second, Mitt had orders of magnitude more money than his opponents and was able to completely dominate the airwaves; Barack has lots of campaign money too and is able to come much closer to matching expenditures. Third, viewer fatigue – I'm a political junkie in NY and even I am sick of the political ads (fuck you very much, Linda McMahon); I'd hate to think what it's like in, say, Ohio – I suspect by now it's almost impossible to produce an ad that any significant number of people are going to pay attention to in swing states.

DahBoner

every rape baby

But where will all the future Republicans come from then?

Steverino247

Again, if any of these turds start to refer to liberals as "cockroaches," I'm getting the fuck outta here.

OT: Alright you fucking miscreants and horrors of ignoramussery. Y'all have been Oldzing about GANGNAM STYLE so fucking much that this Olde Farte has decided to end the gum-flappery. This is it. PSY, GANGNAM style. Oppa do the right thing by you bros&hos.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0

Pudong hua is the Northern Chinese dialect that came to be called "Mandarin" because it was spoken by the educated and governing classes. It was simplified and standardized after the Revolution. Although it is the official language, China has now begun attempting to preserve its many other languages and dialects.

tessiee

Oddjob (the Bond villain) was a small, yet sinister, Asian gentleman who killed people by whipping his bowler hat at them.

When my great-grandfather was in his early 20s, he met my great-grandma and chose to leave the Methodist church to become a Catholic for her when they married. He went to mass every Sunday and Wednesday. He was a Deacon. He founded the local chapters of the Knights of Columbus and the St. Vincent DePaul Society and headed both for many years.

Upon his death at 87, many prominent Catholic leaders showed up for his funeral, and the Archbishop spoke. As my mother and I left the funeral mass, we got stuck behind two local old ladies chatting. One said, in a loud, serious voice, "You know, he was a pretty good Catholic…. for a convert."

So, sorry, Dennis, but you have to die.

LagunaB

Sorry, but we always made fun of converts. They didn't understand that you actually were required to sin. At least the Irish Catholics.

"The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention. Now THAT is irony!" – Bender Rodriguez

Nowisallthereis

What's wrong with maynaz? I like maynaze. And no, I don't dip my fries in maynaze like those cowards the Franch. I might dip sumthin else in it if you axed me real nice.

One_who_wanders

They're gonna need more bullets.

slappy_maxwell

Tucker Carlson's bow tie stays. He goes.
A bow-tied Tucker would never have gone dancing on the teevees.
The bow tie limited the flow of blood to his brain allowing him to just be a douche.
Unrestricted flow, he becomes a soft, sad, pathetic, douche.

BeefHardcake

I've seen hell and it's this list.

BenGleck

Mayonnaise, okey. But, Miracle Whip has got to go!

HistoriCat

That image is truly disturbing. I realize it's a shameful part of (some country's) historyand that we should never forget but it's just too much.