Columns

Thank you for your advocacy of monogamishy. (Monogamishness?) When I fell in love with my gloriously kinky and GGG wife several years ago, we were honest about our sexual desires—vast and wide-ranging—and we negotiated an arrangement that works for us. We encourage each other’s outside crushes, and we both just want to be present while one of us is banging that outside crush. Your column gave us the tools we needed to talk with other potentially kinky folks. Thanks!

The developer of a proposed downtown apartment complex thinks he can keep the 1,200 students — living in connected five-story buildings in which alcohol and partying are allowed — from turning the whole place into the Mother of all Animal Houses. He must be planning to lease only to students who are members of AARP.

I’m a gay man in my late 20s who has been trying to deal with an attraction to young boys since I hit puberty. I know that what I feel is wrong and wish to Christ that I could have a normally wired brain. I have never abused a child; I do not look at child pornography. But I need to speak to a therapist because I can’t get through this on my own. Bottom line is I’m afraid. Seriously afraid. I don’t know what my legal rights are and I don’t know how to go about getting more information without incriminating myself.

The snowberries of January finally started to turn brown and shrivel in February. Marching towards the equinox, buds are swelling to release the first greens of spring. The valley forest has a magic air in March because snowberry and osoberry fringe the twiggy underbrush with a vibrant hue. The broadleaf tree canopy still has naked branches, making the underbrush foliage all the more lovely on sunny days. It’s hard not to throw off the job to walk outside when a sunny hour suddenly appears.

I had a threesome with my husband and another woman because I am GGG and that’s always been a fantasy of his. I laid out my ground rules, and they were violated. (I said I was uncomfortable with his P in her V, and I ended up watching them fuck.) I didn’t stop it at the time because I didn’t want to ruin it for him. It’s been some time, and my heart is still broken. I was completely down with every other aspect of the threesome, but I feel like a line was crossed. Am I wrong to feel hurt?

“Ellen passed away.” Even over the phone I could tell my friend was fighting tears. Just the day before, I attended the 10th annual meeting of Lane Independent Living Alliance (LILA). We talked fondly about Ellen Bombero and her role in its tumultuous beginnings.

I am a straight 24-year-old female who has known my fiancé since freshman year of college. He has a fetish where he likes to watch women use the bathroom. I knew this, having seen some of his porn early on, and I accepted it. We all have kinks. But while peeing in front of someone isn’t that big of a deal, shitting in front of someone is hard.

I headed north last week to do Savage Love Live — a rapid-fire, slightly tipsy Q&A session — at the University of Alaska Anchorage. It was my third visit to UAA and it was a blast. All of the questions in this week’s column were submitted to me by UAA students and staffers.

Should I go ahead and divorce my fantastic wife of 23 years now because gay marriage is going to destroy it eventually anyway? — Tony From Wasilla

The Oregon Legislature must soon decide to fund or not to fund the construction of a state mental hospital proposed to be sited south of Junction City. That decision will determine the focus of treatment for Oregon’s mentally ill population for years to come.

How many times do I get reminded that every year is different from the year before? This year is proving to be a strange one, leap year and politics aside. Momentous times are heralded as we enter the Year of the Water Dragon.

My husband is a very kinky submissive man. When we were dating, I found out that he had been talking to multiple people online and that he had met up with a professional dom a couple of times. I felt betrayed that he had done this all behind my back, even though I had told him that I would be down with him seeing a dom. (I even offered to buy him a session for his birthday!)

Have boyfriend. Several months. Love sex. First time we sixty-nine, I notice he has a little turtlehead sticking out. You get me? Second time, he has bits of toilet paper stuck in that area. CAN I ADDRESS THIS? And how do I do it without giving him a permanently flaccid penis? I love this man to pieces and know this is a humiliating topic. Please help!

My 13-year-old son came out to us this morning. He plans to tell his brothers in the next few days. We love and accept our son, and this news isn’t surprising (but when will the stereotypical neatness kick in?), but we do have some concerns. He has, apparently, already made the news public at school. Any pointers you can give? We want to make sure he knows that we love him and don’t care about his sexuality, while at the same time preparing him to deal with those people who do. Also, any advice you can give for when he starts dating would be appreciated.

I am writing to thank you. I remember reading your definition of “santorum” — “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex” — when it first appeared. I remember thinking it was a cute way to make fun of a dickhead politician. I never thought it would go this far. But after Iowa, Rick Santorum is in the spotlight again. And so is that frothy mixture. And that’s fucking awesome.