Best Way to Ruin Your Workout

Follow this guide to total gluttony, Central Oregon style

Imagine you just finished the best workout of your life. Maybe you broke a personal record; maybe it was your best friend's record. Doesn't matter. What matters is that you are past the point of caring about fitness goals and are ready to indulge in everything your personal trainer would shun you for wanting. Then you bust open your new vape pen—since cannabis oils are now available recreationally, of course. Once the munchies set in, you head over to the original Sparrow Bakery for a bacon breakfast sando. The buttery croissant, perfectly poached egg, avocado and bacon are all burned into your memory. Your dedication to a svelte figure dwindling, you walk down the street to Crux for a flight of their well-crafted microbrews. As you finish your Off Leash, your friends convince you to rally for a sunset trip to Smith Rock. Corralled into the car, you have just enough time to stop at the Terrebonne Depot for a protein-packed Farm burger, loaded with bison, pork belly, egg, bacon and a side of sweet potato fries. As the food coma sets in and you start to feel like a joker for ruining all your hard work, you remember that you bought Sparrow Bakery's last Ocean Roll. Your regimen can start fresh tomorrow. Today was worth every calorie.