Montreal Alouettes

The Toronto Argonauts are playing in the 100th Grey Cup at the Rogers Centre this Sunday, which means plenty of Torontonians are hopping on the CFL bandwagon. For anyone who thinks spending Sunday drinking, yelling and wearing facepaint in public sounds great, but is afraid of being called a fair-weather fan, we offer a guide to faking it through the game. No prior knowledge of football required.

Twenty-eight-year-old CFL wide receiver Brad Smith has been named the first-ever titular unwed man of The Bachelor Canada, and he’s continuing in the 10-year tradition of conventionally attractive white men getting picked for the opportunity (over the franchise’s 23 seasons, every single Bachelor has been white). Smith grew up in Quebec, is a graduate of Queen’s University and has played wide receiver for the Montreal Alouettes, Toronto Argonauts and Edmonton Eskimos. He’s currently not playing for any of them, which is why he has the time to embarrass himself by making out with several loutish women in the span of one-to-two-hour-long weekly episodes (if it ends up anything like The Bachelor). Touchdown!