Last week, the Cleveland Cavaliers offered Michigan State's Tom Izzo the chance to coach in the NBA. The deafening silence since proves Izzo ain't ready.

I hope Cavs owner Dan Gilbert has sense enough to pull his offer to Michigan State coach Tom Izzo off the table. Izzo flew to Cleveland last Thursday, flew home with a fat offer to join the Cavs, and has sat fingering his pussy ever since, unable or unwilling to decide on the job without some official word from LeBron James. Izzo, who's 55 years old, is considered a fiery genius at coaching hard-nosed, team-first basketball and a paragon of loyalty to his school and his state. He now looks like a complete schmuck — and if Gilbert doesn't want the world to think that LeBron is running the Cavs, he'll find a sumbitch tough enough — man enough — to take the head coaching job without kowtowing to King Shit.

Yesterday, by the way, was the third birthday of LeBron's younger son, Bryce Maximus. BMJ arrived between Games 3 and 4 of the 2007 Finals, when the Spurs swept the Cavs, and is co-author (with Buzz Bissinger) of the memoir More Than A Placenta. The BryMax b-day fete included lunch at a Chuck E. Cheese in Akron, dinner at a Mickey D's in midtown Manhattan, and cake and ice cream at a Friendly's in Chicago.

Scott Raab, author of Real Hollywood Stories, is a Cleveland State University graduate and has been an Esquire Writer at Large since 1997