Short Toasts, Easy to Remember Cheers

Get right to the point with these short toasts!

These short toasts are perfect for the memory-challenged or just as a go-to line you can use for any occasion. Or, as the more practically minded might say, why use long-winded toasts when short toasts get right to the drinking!

Best short toasts for any occasion

1.) May we be who our dogs think we are.

2.) Damn the torpedoes.

3.) May this be the least happy day of your lives.

4.) May we be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows we’re dead.

5.) To high winds and mermaids!

6.) May you live all the days of your life.

7.) To our wives and girlfriends… May they never meet.

8.) Live long and prosper.

9.) May the best of the past be the worst of the future.

Funny short toasts

10.) May your beautiful lips never blister!

11.) Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast.

12.) May all your ups and downs be under the covers!

13.) It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.

14.) To toast! Light, with butter and cinnamon!

15.) To my schizophrenic friend. He’s good people.

16.) May you die in bed at the age of ninety-five, shot by a jealous spouse.

17.) The liver is evil and must be punished.

18.) As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

19.) To life. The first half is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

20.) Here’s to lobster tail and beer. Three of my favorite things.

21.) Success to temperance!

22.) To the almighty dollar, without which we would have no cents.

23.) Real poo for my sham friends and shampoo for my real friends.

24.) Here’s to Hell! May my stay there be as much fun as my way there!