True confession: I have had many moments when I wish I was a Stepford Wife…

Now, 90-95% of my life I wouldn’t want to be a cookie cutter girl. And if you know me, you know that I’m far from being cut from the same cloth as everyone else.

In my twenties, I was a member of the Junior League. As most of the members were wives with husbands who made upper-middle to lower-upper class salaries, my single self who made a lower-middle class non-profit salary felt extremely out of place. There were more times in those early years when I wanted to have the lives of the women who surrounded me.

The harder I tried to have lives like theirs, the more I was being called away from that lifestyle. I was a trapezoid-shaped peg attempting to fit into a round hole.

Since my twenties, I stopped caring about living the rich or semi-rich life and having a bazillion square foot house – especially now that I’m a pastor. I appreciate being able to support myself and take pride in not “needing” a man to take care of me but rather having a man in my life to walk besides me.

Being single past your early-to-mid thirties is hard to swallow – mostly because we’re different than most of society. Some days adapting to this is not exactly easy. I remember questioning God and shaking my fist to the Divine. Why can’t my life be as “ideal” as most of those around me, God?

Of course, ideal is what it looks like on the outside… We don’t know what happens offline…

Remember when Carrie Bradshaw says to her friends in a season two episode of Sex and the City “The world is made up of two types of women: the simple girls and the Katie girls. I’m a Katie girl.” The “Katie girl” is in reference to Barbara Streisand’s character in The Way We Were. Carrie was another trapezoid-shaped peg trying to fit into a round hole. There are people who follow social graces, speak well, dress impeccably, have perfect home and look like a polished human being. That was not Carrie Bradshaw.

That is not me. And at 43, I’m pretty resigned to the fact that it will never be me.

I wasn’t made to be a Stepford Wife or president of Junior League or a simple girl or a cookie-cutter life. I wasn’t called to have a life that mirrors most everyone else. I wasn’t made to be the same as most of my friends and colleagues. I am quirky, nerdy, weird and wonderfully made.

I aspire to one day own a townhouse. I hope to have a smaller wedding someday that reflects who we are as a couple and looks much less like a production. I hope to keep preaching, keep writing, keep advocating and keep being just slightly more quirky than most people I know.

Simple Girls, Stepford Wives and normal people who fit the mold of a cookie-cutter (if they truly exist) are just as much made in God’s image, loved by God, used by God and are called by God. And those of us who are “Katie girls” who don’t fit molds and are weird and nerdy and complicated in almost every part of their lives are also made in God’s image, loved by God, used by God and are called by God. We are all just asked by God to share God’s love in a variety of ways.

In the words of Oscar Wilde “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

At this very moment I have a strong love/hate relationship
With the art that you have made,
The shape that you have molded.

Through the stress of everyday life
And delicious foods
And lack of gym time
And probably my age
My body has changed.

It’s not my most ideal self-
Not because of my looks
But because I breathe heavy climbing the stairs
And I’m a bit more fatigued than before.

I admit that I must transform,
To find my balance
To value your creation.

Allow me to see that this transformation
Isn’t about pleasing society or someone else-
This revision of myself is to become the healthy me,
The one that wants to live to 99.

Alter my mind to see that I am beautiful
No matter the girth of my arm or ankle.
(And remind me to stop calling them “cankles…”)
Alter my soul to be happy
And not lean on another cupcake to cheer me up
(Because there will be times when I think I need another cupcake…
We know this about me, God.)

In the meantime…
Lead me not into the temptation of shaming my body.
Help me to cherish each extra inch as long as it lasts on my frame
Because every inch of me is still made in your image.
And may I not duck out of photos
Due to my fear of seeing this version of myself.

And while you’re at it,
Let’s change the way society sees bodies.
Thin, fat, curvy, whatever… it is all beautiful.
Let’s stop this message about getting the bikini body back
Or losing the baby bump in record time.
Let’s savor the moments-
Of deliciousness and balance. Amen.

Sunday’s Oscar performance was a spotlight shining on the differences between being marginalized and privileged.

Here are some of the ways Seth MacFarlane, the writers and producers of the Academy Awards distastefully chose to produce an evening intended to celebrate the accomplishments of artists.

People might say that MacFarlane was being an equal opportunity offender. However, do we hear jokes at the expense of women as often as men? Do we hear jokes from white people about white people as often as we hear them about racial minorities? How about people who are Jewish, gay or overweight? Are their lives joked about more about than people who are Christian, straight or thin?

The isms were solidly present within minutes of the broadcast. MacFarlane performed a song about women being nude in movies. He made a joke about a popular domestic violence relationship. Then, over the course of the evening, he made jokes about women’s sizes and the way minorities talk (among other things, of course).

Abominable.

Sure that’s MacFarlane’s way, or at least that’s what people tried to tell me over and over. I wondered why did the Academy choose to be represented by him? Why did the producers of the show choose a person who will belittle people based on a number of various factors?

Again, as much as I love the Oscars, this year’s ceremony reflected greater issues in our culture. For instance, when the media focuses on hair, makeup and wardrobe, we take the attention away from the reason that these artists are there: their brilliant accomplishments. (Sure, we all love to dress our best, but criticisms do not have a place in dressing up to feel great.)

Throughout 2012, we’ve had some wonderful reminders that people of multiple races, ethnicities, genders, sexual orientations, looks and ages have such amazing talents. We are reminded by these accomplishments and efforts that no matter who you are or what you look like, you are able to accomplish great things. We had storylines that lifted the human spirit. And, yet, the people holding these awards decide to hire a host and a team of writers. It was this “creative” team who chose to demean those who were celebrated.

These movies and performances helped us in seeing God’s grace, God’s presence, God’s love and God’s image within ourselves. Unfortunately, the ceremony to recognize gifts in film achievement was clouded by disrespect. Sad.