Funny Seagal Nonsense

It's no big news that Seagal is recognized as a tulku by some within Tibetan Buddhism. Here are some interesting stuff from "Stripping the Gurus", a website that debunks fraudulent and questionable "spiritual" leaders.

"Interestingly, the hardly pacifistic actor Steven Seagal has been declared, by Penor Rinpoche, to be a reincarnated lama, i.e., a sacred vessel or tulku of Tibetan Buddhism. Perhaps for that “trailing cloud of glory,” Seagal was once seated respectfully ahead of—i.e., closer to the stage than—Richard Gere, at a Los Angeles lecture given by the Dalai Lama. Of course, if Penor is wrong about Seagal, the former is nowhere near as wise or intuitive as his followers believe. On the other hand, if he is right and Seagal is a tulku, that only shows how little such titles (including Penor’s own, as Rinpoche) mean.

[I]n 1994 Seagal [reportedly] split with Kusum Lingpa, the exiled Tibetan lama also then favored by Oliver Stone and a number of other Hollywood stars, when Lingpa refused to declare him a tulku. Then in 1995, Seagal went to India and chartered a plane to tour Tibetan monasteries looking for another spiritual master....

In his audience [with the Dalai Lama], according to Dora [M.], Seagal felt that something “unique” had transpired between him and the Dalai Lama. “He claimed that His Holiness bent down and kissed his feet,” she said. “And Seagal took that to mean that the Dalai Lama was proclaiming him a deity” (Schell, 2000).

In June of 1997, the deified god-man Seagal was formally recognized as the reincarnation of Chungdrag Dorje—the founder of the Nyingma school of Tibetan Buddhism—by Penor Rinpoche.

Penor was in the process of setting up dharma centers around the world when Seagal invited him to L.A. and reportedly made a substantial [monetary] contribution to ... his “seat in the West”....

The editor of the Buddhist journal Tricycle, Helen Twerkov [sic], was blunt about her suspicions: “It’s a difficult situation, because no one who knows Steven Seagal—who’s been around him—seems to think he demonstrates any elevated spiritual wisdom” (Schell, 2000).

Such apparent dearth of spirituality, however, has evidently not dampened Seagal’s enthusiasm for the numerous daft superstitions inherent in the Tibetan Buddhist path:

[A]ctor Steven Segal [sic] declared, “My chakras began spinning and then went into balance after putting on my [Shaolin] Wheel [of Life pendant]” (Randi, 2003). "

Seagal is a grade A douche bag. My fiance (before I met her) worked on the set of one of his movies as a make-up artist. She ended up being offered a job as a "personal assistant" by Seagal himself (which she promptly told him to stick it where the sun doesn't shine), bear in mind this was after he sexually harassed her.

To add to that the "spiritually pure" man himself would have his lackey go out looking for hookers every night. He had to have two at a time at all times and if only one was brought back, then the assistant was subjected to some serious verbal abuse and physical threats.

It's almost an oxymorn, considering he has a monk in tow, everywhere he goes.

The other night his latest movie was being advertised on HBO (cue epic dramatic voice)- " Steven Seagal must now face his biggest challenge yet!".

In his audience [with the Dalai Lama], according to Dora [M.], Seagal felt that something “unique” had transpired between him and the Dalai Lama. “He claimed that His Holiness bent down and kissed his feet,” she said. “And Seagal took that to mean that the Dalai Lama was proclaiming him a deity” (Schell, 2000).

If Seagal is a deity, then from now on Judo Gene Lebell shall be referred to as "Slayer of Gods"

The Dalai Lama kissed his feet? I doubt it. But I'm sure there was much ass-kissing, albeit on Seagal's side.

DIDN'T YOU KNOW?! The Chinese know everything! And they knew it 4,000 years before YOU did!

"Yes. Yes I am. I'm clearly illiterate and dictating this post to a squadron of several dozen trained jumping beans I've coearced into living on my keyboard, each named after a letter or character, which bounce up and down as I call their names." -JohnnyCache

Yeah dude, but it's not like he made ONE shitty movie... he made the SAME shitty movie over and over again like 30 times!

I saw a direct to video movie the wife brought home a few years ago, and the stunts were the best, I'll have to look for some clips. Every time there was a head kick, Seagal's face was totally off camera. Then when there was some dangerous moves that required jumping / running / climbing the stunt double wasn't even as fat as Seagal... it was like a smaller Seagal with a greasy wig, totally lame.