August 1, 2012

A “head shop” in Long Island will have to stick to selling bongs and patchouli oil after a Nassau County judge ruled that it can no longer sell synthetic drugs like bath salts and fake weed.

Following an undercover investigation — and subsequent lawsuit — by the New York Attorney General’s Office, “mislabeled or unlabeled” products like the aforementioned synthetic drugs will be permanently pulled from the shelves of the Daze Smoke Shop at 574 Sunrise Highway in Baldwin after a Nassau County judge signed an order permanently banning the store from selling the items.

Bath salts, as we’ve chronicled, recently have led to an inexplicable
wave in cannibalistic attacks — so in the spirit of not wanting to have
our faces gnawed off, we applaud the ban.

Following the A.G.’s investigation, lawsuits were filed against 12 head shop retailers across New York for violating the
state’s labeling laws by selling the designer drugs under the guise that
they’re merely “herbal incenses.” However, these “herbal incenses” just
happen to have been linked to dozens of violent (oftentimes
cannibalistic) assaults across the country.

Attorney General Eric Schneiderman says the undercover investigations revealed that employees
at the stores — which span from Buffalo to Long Island — were
illegally selling the drugs, which have innocuous names that give users
the impression that they’re harmless. But they’re not — as we mentioned, they often turn people into cannibals.

In May, a senior investigator from the AG’s Office made four separate
investigative visits to two head shops in the Rochester area,
both named “Look ah Hookah.” The agent bought
two variations of the “powerful smokable substance K2” labeled “Zombie
Matter” and “Voodoo.” According to Schneiderman, both
of the drugs were described by a clerk as “herbal incenses.”

On a
second trip to one of the stores, the investigator got his hands on
other synthetic drugs like Fly Agaric Mushrooms, a well-known
psychedelic, and Salvia. He also bought a bong
recommended by a clerk to be the “best” way to smoke the drug.

On a third trip, the investigator bought “MJ Blueberry
Aromatic Potpourri” and “kratom” an “extremely potent plant with
opiate-like effects.” According to Schneiderman, the drugs were advertised and labeled as
“potpourri” or “incense,” and the agent again purchased a smoking device at the
recommendation of the store’s clerk.

Technically, these drugs are legal. However, federal and state laws require that “all consumer
commodities, at a minimum, be labeled to describe net contents, identity
of the product, and the name and place of business of the product’s
manufacturer, packer, and distributor.”

In other words, if you’re going to sell drugs that potentially turn
people into cannibals, calling it “incense” and then recommending they
buy a bong from which to smoke it isn’t gonna fly.

“The proliferation of illegal synthetic drugs has become a national
crisis. In Rochester and across the state, our undercover investigations
have revealed the widespread sales and promotion of bath salts and
other dangerous drugs that are destroying people’s lives,” Schneiderman
says. “We discovered that head shop employees were giving tutorials on
how to use dangerous intoxicants. With today’s actions, we are fighting
back to control this crisis, and ensure that the days of profiting off
the illegal sale of these dangerous drugs are over.”

Normally, we wouldn’t be applauding a law enforcement official for
wasting time and money fighting the “war on drugs.” However, synthetic drugs are
fucking terrifying — again, they apparently turn people into cannibals.

“There is a completely new level of violence and unpredictability
associated with these patients. In some instances, hospital staff have
been diverted from helping other patients in order to assist in securing
and stabilizing designer drug users,” Lundborg-Gray says.

In addition to the ban, Daze owners Kim and Ryan Fulcher have been ordered to pay a $17,000 fine