“Another head aches, another heart breaks, I am so much older than I can take and my affection, well it comes and goes I need direction to perfection, no no no no, help me out”

Sorry about the lack of posts, pictures, knowledge, and spreads for my gambling heathens. Not to worry, you’ll get your fix. I’ll have the lines at the bottom.

No time for excuses for the absence, just some knowledge dropping and formal education.

Head Explosion Story of the Week:

Oregon Football: Off the Field Transgressions. The Quackers are quickly becoming the new millennium’s college football version of the U. This week Cliff Harris was suspended indefinitely when arrested for driving without a license, without insurance, without a seat belt, without marijuana (now required when operating a motor vehicle and on scholarship by the U), and for feeding a Gremlin after midnight.

Congratulations Cliff, you even let down Gizmo.

My thoughts: I’m not going to bore you with opinions, this is ridiculous plain and simple. Instead I’ll let you in on my newest proposal. Recruit a bunch of hippies, throw them a couple of yellow short buses, and have them drive around toting players wherever they want to go. Three angles on this plan: 1. Solves the lazy hippy epidemic of Eugene, by putting the patchouli to work. 2. Hinders drunk driving, non-licensed driving, and driving while stupid. 3. Think for a second….hippy in a bus, can you say hotbox. And it’s not even the players’ fault. Best of all, if a bus is pulled over, just blame the hippy driver. There are 1.78 Million residing in Eugene, not tough to find a replacement.

I call it my Trippy Hippy Harris Plan. And I know just the man to head the operation.

Like a boss

Grub of the Week:

Ringside Steakhouse Prime New York Strip. Ridiculously flavorful, THE STEAK of Steaks, and a side of Garlic Mash. If you’re in town, just a jaunt up Burnside and you are feasting. A special thanks to Jimmie who sponsored a recent event. Great night for two brothers in arms.

For the Hustlers:

Cole, this one’s for you bud. Gage said you had a fever, and the only antidote appears to be my picks. Well, I’m a lock lobster so here goes nothing.

College

LSU @ Alabama (Bama -5): The Grandaddy of the weekend. Are you kidding me? This site is the RollingTide. Tide offense rolling under the lights in Tuscaloosa? Pure adrenaline laced elephants roll bayou bengals every time, it’s simple science. Just bring the red bull.

Arizona State at UCLA (ASU -9.5): ASU QB Brock Osweiller, best name in college football, slinging the rock in Pasadena. The pride of Kalispell, Montana is primed for a date in Hollywood. Neuiheisel out, Osweiller in. Book it.

NFL

San Francisco @ Washington (49ers -3.5): Niners could cover this on defense alone. Obama is actually going to take some snaps at QB for the Skins at this point. Take the City by the Bay in a romp. DC can’t hurt much more at this point right……check that.

Cincinatti @ Tennessee (Titans -3): I always love the underdog, and the Cats of Cincy are not a bad choice this week. The Gunslingin’ Ginger from Texas Christian has the Bengals quietly at 5-2. Chris Johnson is atrocious, AJ Green is not, and there’s pride again in southern Ohio. Smile buckeyes.

Record: 6-2-1 Recognize.

Random Movie Goof:

Shawshank Redemption – Brooks is granted parole, but can’t handle life on the outside so he commits suicide.

Fact: Brooks had been released on parole, but didn’t want to go. In reality, if a prisoner doesn’t want parole, he doesn’t even have to apply for it. In fact, he can serve out his entire sentence if he wants to.

Sometimes you just can’t take the Shawshank out of the Man.

Sorry but this pissed me right the hell off. Brooks was one of the most underrated characters of this movie. So you kill him off to illustrate Red’s epiphany and final decision to forgo suicide and join Andy in a Zihuatenejo bromance? Shame on you Hollywood, Brooks deserved better, WE deserved better.

Awesome Pick:

Just a friendly windmill on the Sausalito Transport. The Socal Kids brought the Thunder.

The Consigliere:

He will Break You

Random Pick:

Jordan celebrating the Portland Rain.

Last Call:

Flipping between Turner and Hooch and Gangs of New York. Who is our generations Bogart: Hanks or Dicaprio? My vote LDC. Because of one line which I share with my brother Gage and I will sign off with: –

An old blind monk walks into a bar and takes a seat at a corner table. He overhears a priest and a rabbi discussing a bet about who can piss all over the bartender and get away with it. In the background he can hear a horse fumbling around for change. Another minute goes by seemingly uneventful, when suddenly he stands up and walks over to the bar. He grabs his cane, and whips it around knocking half full and half empty liquor bottles off of the wall. He sparks up his trusty lighter and throws it irreverently into the abyss of toxic bliss. Everyone in the bar perishes that night.

The riddle: Why would the monk do such a thing?

Answer: The horse was grabbing change for the juke box. He played song F5 which was labeled ‘The Rolling Tide Blog on tape’.