Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Journeys recontinued

40 comments:

We met again with the surgeon. There is no way he can can operate further to remove the melanoma. There is no stage measurement for this kind of melanoma, which he described as very thick, and spreading. We discussed likely future symptoms and what we should do if they occur. The worst liklihood is signs of personality change.

Kathy's next op, which will be for cosmetic reasons, will be scheduled soon.

Sorry I can't give better news. Thanks for all the kind messages. Will write again soon.xxx

Yes, that's correct. It's the direction of travel. Radiation would need to penetrate to the base of the skull and is ruled out because the side-effects. There is nothing to do except wait. The surgeon wants us to have a holiday.

So we will return to Tenerife as soon as possible after Kathy's next op. Her birthday is on 2nd December.

We have the usual pre-op meeting next Wednesday, then the actual operation on 27th August. We are booked to return to Tenerife on 5th September, which is only 9 days later, and that is perhaps too soon. We'll just have see how things are closer to the date.

I go to the radiation oncologist on Thursday to set up the treatment schedule which I anticipate will start at the beginning of September. I (safely) delayed it a couple of weeks so as to be free for my family.

The treatment is unending, isn't it. Marvellous that they work so hard to make you Stay well, but it must seem as if your innards are for ever waiting behind a wall to ambush you if you're not careful.

I do hope the radiation can be fitted round the rest of your life without too much difficulty or discomfort. How long will the treatment period last?

Stay well and positive, Chris, and please keep us informed when you can.

Yes, the operation is tomorrow, and hopefully Kathy will be back at home sometime in the afternoon. I'll be somewhere in the hospital grounds with my laptop, and I'll spend the time writing to you both.

Well, what a marvellous day yesterday was. Kathy had her follow-up operation – the “nip and tuck” –and it has been a complete success. What a huge morale-booster for her!

The ugly bulge in her lower cheek, and the drop in the corner of her mouth, both of which were disfiguring aftermaths of her previous operation – they’ve vanished - and the surgeon managed all this by simply re-opening a part of the scar that was left behind after her previous operation.

Even more astonishing, Kathy was awake and chatting and joking and drinking a big mug of tea only an hour after being taken into the operating theatre. So what we had thought might be an all-day thing, simply wasn’t. And we feel like kissing the ground the surgeon walks on.

So, there are only ten new stitches which will be removed next Friday in time for a celebration dinner that is being organised by Kathy’s daughters at a local nightspot.And on the following Sunday, it looks almost certain that we’ll be flying back to the sunshine and warmth of Tenerife. And what merry plans we have for when we get there! Catching up with so many friends who are residents there, and those who will also be returning from their summers in Europe, car ferry trips to see new islands, and a cruise to take us even further afield - wow!

Yes, I knew the truth when you first said that margins were not clean and there could be no further surgery. I think I sensed a timeframe when you mentioned her birthday...or at least a milestone to get beyond.

This is brutal, as you say. All I can say is that you are so fortunate to have found each other in the first place and to have had some joyous years together. Your job now is to be strong, however hard that may be. And it will be hard. You know that. Bad times are ahead. So live each day to the full, as I know you will. Make memories to sustain you.

Fourth of 33 radiation sessions today. So far so good. The actual treatment takes two minutes. The whole thing takes less than half an hour, from leaving the house to arriving back home.

There will be some "sunburn" and sensitivity in the treated area and I can expect fatigue to set in in a couple of weeks. I am being proactive ffrom the beginning, using the prescribed lotion to minimize skin problems and have gone fragrance-free and dye-free on everything from detergent to deodorent to minimize irritation. My diet is pretty good anyway, but I am paying more attention to energy-boosting foods.

My downfall is exercise (to promote more energy). I don't get enough and it's been too hot (upper 90s for weeks) to even get out in the garden. How I wish I had never given away my treadmill! Still, I will find a way.

CI, how are you and Kathy doing? i imagine you are busy packing up for Tenerife...or are you already there?

Hello Chris!This sounds like good, steady progress! I guess that having a routine in place like the one you’ve described, and a regime for self-care, with a known target date for the end of the radiation, must all be hugely confidence-boosting for you. It’s a process, with a clear goal in sight!

How about giving yourself a treat, and getting a new treadmill? Or some exercise dumbbells, like Kathy, or a book on Pilates, or Yoga? Or taking a trial membership at a Fitness Centre? There are so many alternatives! And as you say, I’m sure you will find something that suits you.

Mind you, if you’ve got temperatures in the upper 90’s then all the easy options like walking, cycling, running, etc are definitely ruled out. Ouch, that’s hot! And much hotter than Tenerife.

As for us, Kathy had her stitches removed yesterday, and we had our farewell party with family last night. Today, we’ve just got to the stage where we are looking at our overflowing suitcases and scratching our heads wondering what we’ve forgotten to pack.

Kathy’s son-in-law will pick us up for the drive to the airport, and we expect to land in Tenerife at midday tomorrow. Some very good Italian friends will meet us at the airport in Tenerife to drive us to our apartment.

We’ll be back in our sub-tropical paradise, and after everything that has happened here in England over the past three months, that will be a huge relief!

Hi Chris - sounds like you're in control of the radiation and everything that accompanies it. 33 sessions - how often are they and when will the last one be? Continued good luck dealing with them with your usual amazing strength.

Ian & Kathy - how wonderful to be back in your Paradise so soon!As always, you sound explosively bright and positive - Joy-filled delights to you both!

Hi Karen: Radiation is every weekday for a bit over six weeks. That's why I am so grateful that i have a top-of-the-line radiation facility so close. The UK is short on facilities, so I understand, and some folks have to travel up to 70 miles each way every day.

I calculate that as long as I don't miss any days for any reason, and taking into account Labor Day when they are closed, then I will be done on Friday, October 15th. That's two days before my Mum's birthday. You will recollect that she passed away last year at age 96. Now, I am far from being a religious person but nevertheless I have this cozy feeling that this is not a coincidence and Mum's spirit is hovering out there somewhere watching over me. Along with celebrating her life on that Sunday, I will have something to celebrate about my own.

Good to hear from you, Ian. I check in here on a daily basis. Kathy is always in my thoughts and I wonder how she is coping.

All is going well on this end. 14 days into radiation and no side effects so far except for a "suntan" where I have never had one before and a bit of aching...nothing that a glass or two of wine doesn't banish.

I have a new medical oncologist who is a joy, so now I have the perfect team. He told me something about my surgeon. Apparently he is so dedicated and careful that he actually hand carries the tissue samples he excises to the Path lab himself and watches over the testing. That's quite someting.

But my big news is that my brother arrived today!! I am so very happy. And so very lucky to have a brother like him...and friends like you two.

I didn't have any time yesterday to say much more, because we'd been entertaining. We've been back in Tenerife for just over two weeks now, and we've been incredibly busy re-establishing ourselves here.

Kathy's scars are healing well. And after all the trauma of everything that happened in England, we are now settled back into our life here. We are lucky to have very good friends here, who have been as overjoyed at seeing us again as we have been to see them. And as each week passes, more of our expat community returns to the island, so there is a continuing feeling of excitement at the prospect of meeting old friends again.

Maybe it's all a form of escapism, but we are being happy for as long as we can.

I'm so glad things are going well for you too. I can imagine how happy you are to see your brother again. Brilliant!:-)

Have the room filled with flowers for when you arrive...a couples massage... a chauffeur and limo to the best restaurant on the island for dinner...a moonlight cruise around the island...see if it's possible to arrange a video hook-up with her children for birthday wishes...so much to do!!!

For me, one of the by-products, if you will, of having a great prognosis and a relatively easy journey through this cancer is guilt. It has been quite overwhelming at times. Guilt at being so lucky when other women have so much more to deal with in treatment and then an uncertain outcome.I find it difficult to look upon myself as a survivor. I really have not suffered all that much. When I think of Kathy, which I do often,I find I cannot bring myself to talk about my progress on here without feeling bad.

And then I talked to my radiation oncologist. She told me it ws normal. But the next thing she told me was much more important. She said that I needed to understand that other women in more challenging positions would be cheering me on, glad that someone was coming through this. They would not want me to feel guilty and certainly not sorry for them. They would want me to go forward.

And so I will do that. Go forward, get well, and then work in any way I can to help find a cure, not just for breast cancer but for all cancers. One day it will come.

Yes, that is a beautiful thought, Chris. I’d always thought there is little we can do, as individuals, to help find a cure - other than to help raise and give money to support cancer research. But you’ve made me acutely aware how important it is to give a little time, where we can, to help those who are affected by cancer. Both you and Dolores are doing that for me – brilliantly – and that in turn has helped me to stay strong for Kathy.

Roll on October 17th! Your radiation oncologist is so right – we are cheering you on!