Just This Once, Lie To Me

Tell me that I am enough. Tell me that I matter. Tell me that the world needs me. Tell me that you care. Tell me that you love me. Shower me with consistency. Tell me that you love everything about me despite the truth that you always made me feel like I am competing for your attention, for your loyalty, and for your time because I should not. Embrace me with assurance. Make me believe that everything will be fine, not because that’s the way of the universe but because I can fight through it despite the constant storms the world throws at me. Make me feel like me again because I haven’t been myself for a long time. Walk with me to find myself because I don’t know who to become anymore. Just this once, lie to me that I am more than the anxiety and that I am more than these dark thoughts. If this can help me believe in life again, I need you to lie to me.

Tell me that I am beautiful. Give me strength to do that skin care routine. Give me a chance to enjoy those dresses and jewels. Give me time to appreciate myself. Tell me how pretty these brown eyes are to just see the mistakes and flaws I have been hating to see. Tell me that I am captivating. That my heart is kind. That my words are sweet. That my voice is calm. Tell me that I am beautiful not just in your naked eye but with how your soul connects to mine. Make me feel like I deserve to see another day. Show me ways to love what I see in the mirror in every day. Just this once, lie to me about the pretty things and the pretty life. My mind is ugly. My life is gloomy. I need to hear those pretty lies. Because if this can help me see the beauty of every struggle, I need you to lie to me.

Tell me that I deserve love. Tell me that I deserve to be loved. And that I deserve your love. I know have a lot of love to give but I’d rather not because right now I am poison. For that, I need you to lie to me. Lie to me that someone will come and hold me despite of the thorns that I have been growing to guard me. Lie to me that someone will accept me despite of the marks I have been hiding. Lie to me that someone will fight for me and that someone will fight with me. Just this once, lie to me that world will be a less than lovely without me in it. Because if this can help me believe in love again, I need you to lie to me.

Tell me that I am capable of doing amazing things. That I can reach for the stars, for my dreams, for my happiness. Tell me that you’ll be there for me. That you will be there to cheer me up when I stumble and fall. I have a lot of things to do but my mind says I can’t. I have a lot of places to see but my mind keeps on pulling me back. I have a lot of potential, that’s what the people told me, but my mind says otherwise. All these dreams were replaced with doubts. All this faith turned to fears. All the joy wiped out by tears. Just this once, lie to me. Lie to me how great of a person I am and can become. Lie to me how profound these words are. Lie to me that I can do amazing things because I can and that I have always been capable of it. If this can help me start again, I need you to lie to me.

Lie to me that there is a bright future waiting for me. Lie to me that there is hope for everyone. Lie to me that the life on earth is much greater than in any other promised paradise. Lie to me than staying is always better than leaving. Just this once, self, lie to me. Because if faking it until I make it can help me rise from this helplessness and hopelessness, please, I need you to lie to me.