Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

feel like i'm losing it

It's 12:22am,I just got up out of bed because I was having a bad dream. When I woke from that I noticed that I couldn't stand lying in bed with my wife. I know this is going to sound really stupid but I couldn't stop thinking about how said said that as a teenager all she ever did, all she was even interested was sex. I think her a slut, a whore and feel phyically disgusted woth her. I think to myself, why do I want to stay married to some dirty f**king slut!!!
I can't control these thoughts. and most of the time I am totally in love with her. I think we have a very close, deep relationship so deep down I know I don't want to lose her.
But man.....
I'm here typing this now to keep me from waking her up and tell her what I think. God, does anyone have any advise as to how to control intense thought like this in the short term? Is there some sort of trick you can do to calm yourself and slow your brain?
Please help!

Gee! When we are young thinking about sex is normal regardless if you are a young male or female.
Ask yourself why do you feel so strong about women being a slut, whore, for having sex at an early age? Something made you feel this way about women for you to say the word &quot;disgusted,&quot; I don't believe its because of your wife past, its really something else there deep inside of you. We all have a past with other people but when we marry that special someone for love for life itself we but our past friendships behind us.
Maybe you were not the first for your wife but thats okay &quot;right,&quot; as long as you are the last and I bet she feels the same way.

Talk to your doctor about thia and be frank. This isnt about sex. Its about being close or not to the most important person in your life. These thoughts will sabatoge your marriage. You probably need talk therapy. She must love you! she's still with you and I bet you/re no peach at times! BP's are a burden to their loved ones. Good luck.

I agree with Otter. YOu really need to talk to your pdoc about these obsessive thoughts. There are meds that can help and I think you need some therapy too. You don't want to hurt her or mess up your relationship with her. Sounds like you really love her. So get some help with this, don't try to go it alone.

My advice, is to not bring this up to her till you have talked to your doc, you may loose the best girl you ever had if you confront her on YOUR issue.. Think smart, go get a med change or talk to the doc...We usually hate in others, what we hate in our own selves..Think about it!!

She may have been using sex as some security that she wasn't getting somewhere else in her life. Don't ever feel bad for opening up and discussing controversial topics. I think that's what the discussion board is for. You were obviously pretty emotional about the issue when you wrote it and hopefully it helped you to get it out.
I have to majorly disagree with otter on one thing--- BPs are absolutely NOT a burden on their loved ones, unless they don't give a care to get treated and raise hell. even then, if someone loves you it should be unconditionally.
That's like saying my husband is a burden on me because he's always at work or school, doesn't clean up after himself, and is hardly around to help with the kids. But no.... I tell myself, he's working hard, trying to become a heli. pilot, and is probably too exhausted to clean up the room by the time he gets home.
Everyone's got different issues and different opinions. but saying BPs are a burden is quite a hurtful statement. I felt like a burden myself, but my family all reassured me, they just wanted to see me healthy becaused they loved me so much.

Sorry otter I have to disagree with you on the bp's being a burden comment honey. We are most certainly a challenge to our loved ones in many ways, but only a burden during the family picnic piggyback races.

Cuppajoe, perhaps the word &quot;burden&quot; is offensive to you...what otterheart is trying to say is that BP's put a strain on those around them. Thomas is clearly having obsessive thoughts that are unrational and completely distructive to his relationship with his wife. It seems that this is a way that he is isolating himself from her. Perhaps there is some jealousy that surrounds his wife's sex life in the past....and consequently it is the focal point for his unquiet obsessive mind. I think it is important for you Thomas, to discuss these feelings with your doctor...and refrain from discussing them with your wife. Love her for the woman she is today....many of us experimented sexually as teenagers. Am I a f**king slut because my teenage hormones? Were you celebate as a teenager?

okay thats how everyone is....... DID U WANT HER TO BE A VIRGIN FOR U??? OKAY,These DAYS THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS. Women these days have all the freedom to have sex at any age... fuck man,,, this isnt the medeival old ass times. She isnt a slut, she just had sex when she was young,, big deal thats what everyone does because nobody waits for marriage anymore. Live in the present, not the past and get over it.

My first husband and father to my two boys was like you are. Except, he told me to my face. He would talk me into telling him about my past sexual hystory and then use it against me. I am a person with feelings. It hurt me greatly. He was really mean to me. Please don't let your thoughts become verbal. Your wife is not what you seem to think she is. Tomas, you married her. She is your wife to love and to cherish. Please love her for who she is. Not what she has done.

Thank you all so much for you advise.
Shellwants, I have to admit I do the axact same thing as your ex. I just hope I can deal with it better than he did. Work it out rather than try and just get over it,

Guess who,
I know your right about getting over it and how stupid it is. I know it makes no sense. That makes me fell worse, why and I so worried about it? I can't friggen control it. I would normally not give a shit, but damn it, something happening ni my head.

Guess who,
I know your right about getting over it and how stupid it is. I know it makes no sense. That makes me fell worse, why and I so worried about it? I can't friggen control it. I would normally not give a shit, but damn it, something happening ni my head.

Not really on topic of previous sexual experience, but certainly a part of taking one's vows seriously (there's a funny part too).

After we were married we moved to a small community where my wife was given a job with an organization as it's financial manager. Long story short she took some money from the organization after they shafted her pretty heavily. They brought work to her in the hospital after she'd had a very serious miscarriage. Legal proceedings took almost 2 years in which our son was born. I stood by her and many people in the community and even my own family were surprized and proud that I stood by her no matter what, even her 2 months of jail time and 1 year house arrest.

Here's the funny part. When we were married, she goofed on a line and called me her 'awful' wedded husband. I still tease her about it.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

I have my maxed amount of epidural shots of my cervical DDD....(and no one cares about my lumbar DDD)..... I've done physical therapy, muscle relaxers, Amitriptyline, Nortryptiline, desipramine.....narcotics... So I decided to go to a spine specialist and they have me on Gabapentin. Its been two weeks and it did nothing for my lumbar ever... but it did seem to help my cervical and arm/hand pain...

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