The thoughtful, and sometimes provocative ramblings of a young, gorgeous talent trying to understand this lunacy called life.

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Lagos Public Transport 2: Okadas

So, there we were, TRYING to get to Lekki to watch The Simpsons (a feat we never ended up achieving after almost 6 hours on the road, I think it wasn’t God’s plan for the day), minding our own business, still looking good despite the sweltering Tuesday heat in an un-air-conditioned car. Enter crazy okada (commercial motor-cyle riders) guy on Adeola Odeku, VI. And chaos ensues.

I hadn’t been paying mad attention, but one thing’s for sure, the guy was trying to squeeze in between our car and another one, and (shock!) he felt we both hit him. Retard. As is natural for angry Lagosian drivers, he yelled an insult, and B, who was driving, and is a bit of road rager herself, yelled one back. Everything happened pretty quickly from there.

B’s sis, who was in the passenger seat, suddenly told B to forget it, that the guy wasn’t all there, but B, couldn’t be bothered, and continued to mutter. The guy all of a sudden flew off his bike, pushed it directly in front of us so we couldn’t move without running it over, and came at us in a rage, a short flagellated whip in his hand, his eyes blazing, and spittle flying out of his mouth. I exaggerate not. He started slamming hard on the hood, and I was damn sure he was going to create a dent.

Scared and horrified, we all wound up our windows and locked the doors. He came to B’s side, yelling insults, calling us all kinds, telling B to get out and prove herself. He tried opening the door, when it didn’t open he started hitting the roof, the windscreen, and her window. I was quite sure he was going to break it open. We were beginning to cook in the heat of the car, but none of us got out.

The guy was CRAZY.

In about 2 minutes, a small crowd had gathered, and we were causing our own set of traffic. The driver of the other vehicle came and started appealing for us to just apologise. We argued that the guy was a raving lunatic, and we were not getting out of that car cos we didn’t want to be attacked. Besides, all the damage he was doing to our car was a 100 times worse than anything he thought we did to him. One of us, B’s relative finally got out and the guy stomped over her, and for a second, it looked like he would hit her. 2 policemen finally came over, and it was a yelling match.

At this point, it was very apparent to EVERYONE the guy was at fault, and was needlessly picking on 5 women. Unable to take the heat anymore and sure that the guy won’t touch us with so many people and policemen there, we got out, except for B.

There was bickering and arguing, and we told the police guy that we didn’t see why we should get out when that loon was threatening us with fists and a whip. Besides, we didn’t EVEN HIT HIM. A police convoy passed, and the boss got down to see why we were blocking the road. The lunatic, seeing higher powers were coming into the mix, suddenly said he was a policeman. I couldn’t believe it. Was that why he was pulling levels???

At this point, it was obviously just a pride thing that was pushing the guy on. He wanted to attack a chick cos of something HE did? The boss, was obviously torn between supporting his own, and acknowledging the guy was being melodramatic. Finally, they all promised B, that if the guy hit her, they’ll be held responsible, and pleaded with her to come and say sorry so the guy would piss off. She finally did, not really meaning it, and we slowly started dispersing. The lunatic guy, if it was me, I would have felt foolish after that apology. All that display so a chick would tell him sorry. He didn’t even say anything, just sulkily got on his bike and zoomed off. B’s sis swore that if he had broken anything, that guy would have entered a cell that day.

Unfortunately, this happens too often. Careless okada riders, endangering themselves and their passengers, and blaming those in cars for all their foolishness. And annoyingly, their like flies. If one gets hit, all of them just gather from nowhere to give you grief. I heard a sad story of a guy who hit a careless one one day, and refused to get out of his car for the same reason we didn’t. That one, they were many, surrounding it. Sadly, they set the car on fire with the guy in it.