I have always wondered what would happen if I were living alone in a place that gets house centipedes.

Because I have a pretty intense phobia of them, and everywhere I’ve ever lived there’s been someone else to deal with them. But now it is just me and my cat, and a lot of cellar spiders, and the occasional FUCKING GIGANTIC centipede. And, like, as long as I can avoid them, I’m sort of okay? Like, I don’t run out of the room crying, or become paralyzed with fear. I’m kind of like “Oh dear, there’s an unpleasant thing over there.” I still am pretty disturbed by the thought of one touching me.

(Though actually, as I’m writing this, it’s been over a week since I’ve seen one and so I’m less used to them and so I just know I’m going to lose it the next time one appears.)

So…Garnet and I took a class on edgeplay* recently, and there was a whole section about fear. And I like fear…I mean, I wrote a post a while back about a scene where Garnet pretended to slice me open from collar bone to crotch. Fear can be really hot. But until I started encountering huge ones regularly enough to be pretty able to deal with it, my fear of centipedes was always off the table as an element in a scene. But we talked about it…and I agreed that as long as no actual creepy-crawlies were involved, I would be okay with doing some fear stuff/mindfuckery that played with my phobia.

They had me close my eyes, and they swept a little leather tassel over my bare skin, telling me that there were centipedes crawling on me. And I squirmed and whimpered and at one point started panting so hard that they stopped to check in that I was okay (I was, and assured them I’d be able tosafeword if I needed to). It was fun. And then they very convincingly pretended to catch a centipede off the wall and shove it inside me. Which was both terrifying and weirdly hot.

Afterwards, they reassured me that it had all been convincingly faked, and showed me the leather tassel, and we laughed about the whole thing. It was all really safe feeling.

Then they got out the Hitachi, and put a towel under me. I actually made myself squirt with the Hitachi, which is pretty hard for me to do a lot of the time, because the feeling is so intense that I pull away. And then they had me ride the Hitachi until I came, and when I’d shivered my way through a pretty intense orgasm they petted me and hugged me and assured me that I’d done a very good job, and that I was a good girl. It felt really great.

*edgeplay, for those unfamiliar with the term, can be any sort of activity that’s especially intense/plays with taboos/flirts with things that are dangerous or that are limits. Not even necessarily by actually doing the dangerous thing, but often by creating the illusion that it’s happening.