Pig with the Pigskin

By Paul Lukas, on September 26th, 2012

As the outrage over Monday night’s NFL game spread across the nation yesterday, I wondered what the local reaction was like in Green Bay, so
I went to the Green Bay Press-Gazette’s web site. There was plenty of coverage of the game, but I got sidetracked by the awesome Piggly Wiggly ad you see above, featuring an unmistakably Packers-esque uniform. Very cool.

PermaRec update: The gent shown at right is one of the most powerful New York politicians of the past generation. He’s holding his mother’s report card, which is part of the stash I found in a discarded file cabinet years ago. Further details on the Permanent Record Blog.

Appropriate lede considering right now the news is talking about a possible bacon shortage.

Ricko|
September 26, 2012 at 7:29 am |

So this guy’s car breaks down and he stops at farmhouse near Green Bay. Walking past the porch is a three-legged pig.

“Hey, look at that, a three-legged pig!” he says.

The Farmer says, “Don’t be makin’ fun of my pig. Once when my wife was being hassled by burglars, he chased them away. Another time, the house caught on fire and we woke us AND went back in to save all my Packer memorabilia.”

Guys says, “Wow, that IS amazing. That how he lost his leg?”

“On, no,” the Farmer says “a pig that great you don’t eat all at once.”

KWChris|
September 26, 2012 at 7:48 am |

*rimshot* he is here all week folks!

Ricko|
September 26, 2012 at 7:50 am |

:) Don’t forget to tip your waitress.

boxcarvibe|
September 26, 2012 at 8:05 am |

Somebody help me to my room.

boxcarvibe|
September 26, 2012 at 8:07 am |

Another, longer look at that ad has me wondering if the good folks at Warner Bros haven’t noticed the similarities to Porky Pig.

Ricko|
September 26, 2012 at 8:07 am |

Never said was a NEW joke, just relevant to the subject at hand (pigs in Wisconsin).

In the Purdue annotated helmet photo(s), #6 and #7 show other teams’ helmets in the background. What’s up with that I wonder.

Nice school branding on the one kid’s shirt too!!

walter|
September 26, 2012 at 9:12 am |

Okay, This is the uniform pornography to which I was referring yesterday!! The helmet annotation clearly refers to the center of the earhole aligning to a point off-center in the “P”‘s counter. Wouldn’t it make more sense to align the corner of the bottom serif to the hole, since the line goes right through it? Whew! I have to change my shorts.

Taylor Stallings|
September 26, 2012 at 8:36 am |

I don’t know if this is an interest to the site but in Madden 13, when a time out is called and coaches/trainers are giving players water, their shirt has the old logo from last year on it, not this years Nike logo

Jason M (DC)|
September 26, 2012 at 8:57 am |

Piggly Wiggly is in Wisconsin? I thought it was only in the South. I guess I should get out of the DC area more. (No Piggly Wiggly in DC.)

I still remember when the minor league baseball team in Appleton played at old Goodland Field. There was a Piggly Wiggly behind right field, with a sign that had a rotating first letter – P on one side, W on the other. We always called that store the Wiggly Piggly.

I don’t know if they still do, but PW sponsored an in-game contest at Lambeau Field and had its pig mascot on the field while it was going on.

As for shopping chains in Wisconsin, along with the Pig, there are Copps/Roundy’s/Pick n Save (same group), Festival Foods, Woodman’s. Cub Foods was also in a lot of places, but has retrenched somewhat and is more popular in Minnesota. And we do have Aldi, which is Trader Joe’s without the fancy image.

The big stores around here in the DC area are Giant and Safeway in general. On the Virginia side of DC, Harris Teeter is pretty dominant, as well. Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s are very present and have their fan bases, as well. We also have some SuperFresh and other stores, including an occasional Food Lion. There are some lesser known chains including Gran Mart (specializing in international food) and Shoppers Food Warehouse. A Bloom store has even crept into the area.

Jerry|
September 26, 2012 at 10:39 am |

Yep. I love shopping at the Pig.

tom|
September 26, 2012 at 10:45 am |

i thought the north had food lion or whatever. im fasinated by which grocery stores are in which regions. grocery stores are almost the last big chain/regional that’s not dominated by wal-mart (yet)

i’ve heard of kroger, winn-dixie, publix, food lion, pigly wiggley. i forgot what they have out in California.

tom|
September 26, 2012 at 10:47 am |

oh and schuncks

Eric S.|
September 26, 2012 at 11:23 am |

It is kind of a fun topic. Living in Florida, it’s funny to realize that there are millions of people who have no idea what Publix is. They are so prevalent in my area that I could turn any direction out of my neighborhood and hit one within 5 minutes.

Ricko|
September 26, 2012 at 11:27 am |

Once said the surest way to NOT look like a tourist in South Florida is to drive fast in the parking lot at Publix.

tom|
September 26, 2012 at 1:14 pm |

we used to have schnucks in memphis. schucks bought out a store named “sessels” which bummed everyone out cause sessels was the best.

anyway, i think the first piggly wiggly was founded in memphis. they have a mock up of the first grocery store at the musuem in memphis. pretty cool

Ricko|
September 26, 2012 at 1:47 pm |

Aw, gee, all this talk of Publix and Winn-Dixie has got me thinking about how much I miss Florida.

We also had Albertsons for a while around Orlando but they just closed about 95% of their stores, so we’re left with Publix and Winn-Dixie. Although WD renovated many stores recently they’re still a little scary to shop at, they’re also known for their outdated green beef.

But out in my neck of the woods we have an IGA two minutes from the house, awesome little place.

Here in St. Louis we have none of those big chains. The main grocers here are Schnucks, Dierbergs, and Shop n’ Save–all exclusively local, though Schnucks has expanded built a handful of stores elsewhere in Illinois, Iowa, and Indiana.

Joe Nguyen|
September 26, 2012 at 11:36 am |

KC also had Schnucks for the longest time. There was one near my house growing up before it became a Hy-Vee. There was at least of couple of Piggly Wigglys (Wigglies? Wigglii?) in KC as well, but the last one closed up shop about 15 years ago or so. Now the big grocery stores are Hy-Vee and Priiiiiiiice Chopper (RIP Bill Grigsby).

Eric|
September 26, 2012 at 7:54 pm |

Shop n’ Save is a part of the SuperValu chain based here in the Twin Cities (and not the “Twin Cities” of Festus and whatever in JeffCo)

During my 3 years in St. Louis, I was more of a Schnucks guy than a Dierbergs…although I’d take either of their prices over Cub (also Supervalu) and Rainbow (owned by Wisconsin’s Roundy’s)

James A|
September 26, 2012 at 1:42 pm |

“i thought the north had food lion or whatever.”

Virginia has Food Lion, but they were the capital of the Confederacy, so, not the north.

Cort|
September 26, 2012 at 2:30 pm |

Food Lion made a brief appearance in Houston. Their first local stores opened within days of the 20/20 expose on Food Lion washing raw chicken in bleach to prolong its shelf life. They didn’t last 6 months here.

The biggest local chain is H-E-B, which stands for “Howard Edward Butt”, the founder. Their mascot is a demented looking anthropomorphic bag of groceries.

umplou|
September 26, 2012 at 4:09 pm |

First of, WallyWorld IS serious competition for a lot of chains – just like they were for Kmart/Caldor/Bradlees, you name it.

Here in southeast New York, the 500 pound gorilla is a chain called ShopRite – which in technical terms is not a chain, but a buying coop called Wakefern. I am assuming the way it works that they have territories its ‘members’ operate in, as long as the members keep their standards up. Our local member actually went bankrupt, so Wakefern set their own self owned unit, and runs those stores. SR totally covers New Jersey, where it is based, plus New York State up to the Albany area, and parts of PA, DE and even Maryland I think now.

The main competition on NY is another chain called Price Chopper, which is based in Schenectady. It is a family owned business, and the stores are very clean – but they do not quite have the buying poswer SR has, so they are just a bit higher on a lot of things. SR also has the advantage of a real meat department where they freshly prepare a lot of the meats – freshly ground hamburgers for instance – NO vacuum packed crap.

Pittsburgh Contrarian|
September 27, 2012 at 12:17 am |

Here in Pittsburgh, we have Giant Eagle and Shop N Save. We used to have Foodland, Kroger, and Thorofare.

The Bills Throwback looks really nice. I’m glad that it doesn’t have a two tone collar.

Terry Proctor|
September 26, 2012 at 10:41 am |

First Reebok and now Nike. Neither company has reproduced the sleeve stripes correctly on the Bills’ White throwback jerseys. The stripes are Red feather-edge/Royal/Red feather-edge for all four stripes, two narrow ones on the outsides, two wider ones on the inside.

Wouldn’t you think that with all of today’s advanced technology (can you say “sublimation?”) that these uniform companies could do some GD sleeve stripes correctly? Are you then proud of an incorrect authentic “throwback” that you charge people mega-bucks for just so that they can parade around a few more swooshes.

And lastly what about the Bills’ staff member(s) that signed off on this abortion. Have you no sense of your team’s uniform history? Or do you not care enough about it to at least make sure that it’s reproduced properly? If that’s the case then why bother. This whole “one official maker” thing and the crap they turn out (for all sports) makes me ashamed to see how they’ve ruined a business that I have loved for the past 45 years.

darkhaha|
September 26, 2012 at 11:16 am |

My sentiments exactly, Terry. I just don’t think it should be that difficult to do the research and get things right. I wonder if there is confusion with the 1973-74 road jerseys, in which each of the four stripes was royal-red-royal? Still no excuse for this incorrect version they have been foisting on us for years now.

Terry Proctor|
September 26, 2012 at 11:45 am |

You would hope not. In ’73 and ’74 they wore the charging Bison. The throwback jerseys we’re discussing will be worn with the standing Bison. You know, some of these guys are so brilliant that they would screw up a free lunch at the rescue mission.

They’ve been throwing back to the 60s-70s look since 2005. Now that they’ve replaced the ’02-’10 eyesores with uniforms that look similar to the throwbacks, for throwbacks they ought to use the Jim Kelly early 90s red helmet look that won 4 straight AFC Championships.

Also, concerning the Islip Psychiatric Center records: I side with the writer who suggested you make an effort to contact families first, but if the photographs don’t accompany a published story, that’s a huge, huge loss.

Good luck, Paul.

Brian Jud|
September 26, 2012 at 11:06 am |

I really like the Dutch football team’s gesture to thank the British for their help in WWII. Didn’t have to, but it’s nice.

Meanwhile in America, without France we don’t win the Revolutionary War, and we thank them by renaming french fries “Freedom Fries.”

Brian Jud|
September 26, 2012 at 11:07 am |

(The name of french fries, by the way, has nothing to do with France.)

Arr Scott|
September 26, 2012 at 3:09 pm |

In my limited personal experience, many of the Dutch give special thanks to Canadian troops for liberating the Netherlands in WWII. The thing is, German-occupied Holland was a strategic nonentity for the Western front. So there was no real Allied push to liberate the Netherlands. The thinking was, correctly, push to Berlin and the German garrison in Holland will melt away. Which it did in the end, with many thousands of German troops stealing bicycles from Dutch residents in a disparate bid to get back home. (“Give us back our bikes!” is a common Dutch anti-German chant.) But aside from the indignity of continued German occupation into 1945 and the continuing operation of the machinery of the Holocaust in the Netherlands, the biggest effect of the Allied sidestepping of Holland was the “Hunger Winter” of 1944-45. It was effectively a famine for much of the Dutch population – and for many of the remaining German troops. The eventual Canadian-led liberation was as much a humanitarian relief operation as an actual anti-German military campaign.

Kevin Allen|
September 26, 2012 at 11:09 am |

Bishop Gorman is the Oregon on high school football. They have several different uni combos (Orange, Blue, Gray and White) with different helmet choices too. I did notice one interesting thing with the chrome helmets…they all seem to have the same brand of helmet and most interesting is that they have the same or at least a very similar Revo Speed style face mask. You would think that there would be a few different styles of either helmet or facemask, even for high school. A lineman with a small facemask always looks a little funny to me.

Clint Kalinec|
September 26, 2012 at 10:37 pm |

Ya that’s actually what I said in the email to Paul I sent. They’ve got a ton of uni options. I happened to randomly stumble upon them on max preps. Also notice the chrome cleats they’ve been wearing this year.

I really enjoyed the column. Thanks for getting another view of the topic out to a mainstream audience. I made the mistake of reading the comments….It seems a lot of people don’t understand.
Anyway, thank you!

James A|
September 26, 2012 at 2:11 pm |

“I mean, I’ve never heard of anyone having any issues with team names like Mets, Broncos, Red Sox, Suns, or Predators. Have you?”

Hasn’t PETA protested the use of animal names for teams?

Ricko|
September 26, 2012 at 2:25 pm |

They did at one time formally protest Packers because it “promoted the slaughter of animals.”

walter|
September 26, 2012 at 5:23 pm |

“There are those whom one should wish to offend.” -John Cleese

mike 2|
September 26, 2012 at 2:27 pm |

Great column.

To repeat something I’ve said here before:

1. The “slippery slope argument” is extremely weak. Arguing that “We can’t do the right thing because it sets us down the path to possibly someday do the wrong thing” is the wrong approach. If something is right, you just do it. End of story.

2. Similarly, if something is black and white, just deal with it. The fact that you can come up with a marginal case in the grey area (say, the Golden State Warriors) isn’t a reason to say that “its a complicated topic and we should do nothing” with the black and white cases.

3. Finally, if something is wrong, opinion poll numbers don’t matter. Things like the prevention of discrimination aren’t “majority rules”. In this case, mixed opinion polls from native americans shouldn’t be an excuse to keep using racist imagery.

I’ve been watching some Monty Python’s Flying Circus lately, and have seen a few episodes in which they use one of the main cast members dressed up in full-on, stereotypical Indian garb–headdress, moccasins, etc. A couple of times they referred to them simply as “Indian,” but I think I remember a couple of instances of the use of “red man” or “red Indian.” Ultimately, it was pretty shocking to see/hear 40 years later, but in light of the Chief Noc-a-homa which Gary Mattox referenced, I guess not at all surprising or controversial for its time.

walter|
September 26, 2012 at 5:20 pm |

The Pythons were not shy about race-baiting. But they flourished because of their timing as well as their brilliance; remember, you couldn’t get a show like All in the Family made nowadays, either.

ChrisH|
September 26, 2012 at 5:02 pm |

Well stated PL!

While the article did not change my viewpoint, I enjoyed the honesty and clarity of your argument.

For those who don’t get the joke, I wrote quite a bit about Hydrox back in the 1990s, including this piece that ran in Fortune in 1999 (and has since been adopted as something of a manifesto by Hydrox partisans):http://money.cnn.com...

Wheels|
September 26, 2012 at 12:03 pm |

It looks like they messed with the design of the Blazers’ diagonal striping a bit.

At U Minnesota, Crookston, students have volunteered to paint the block M at midfield for the homecoming game. When they went to do so this time, the yard markers weren’t painted yet. So, they started the logo at the 40-yard line instead of the 45 like they should have, and the entire logo ended up 5 yards off center.

Interesting that the school uses the same logo & colors as the flagship institution (Twin Cities) of the U of M system. Seems odd, anyway, as I’m used to the University of Missouri system’s Columbia, St. Louis, Kansas City, & Rolla campuses all have different nicknames, colors, and logos.

They just need to paint another one upside down beside it, for the other side of the stands. Of course, then people will ask, why does it say “MW”? Or they could paint a “C” beside it for Minnesota-Crookston.

I also saw this picture on Twitter. I actually think that helmet is alright, if not even a little bland. I believe it’s a tribute to the infamous “Snow Bowl” (Independence Bowl) game played between MSU and TAMU in the late 90s.

Ricko|
September 26, 2012 at 1:28 pm |

Hey, I got a great idea for Kansas in 2016, to commemorate the 160th birthday of L. Frank Baum (seeing as they missed his 150th)…

For five consecutive games they could dress as Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man and Toto.

That would be, like, SO cool.

Chris Holder|
September 26, 2012 at 3:05 pm |

Charlie Weis probably wishes he was the Great and Powerful Oz. That might be what it takes to turn that program around. They’re pretty dreadful.

Beats|
September 26, 2012 at 3:27 pm |

I hate to even refer to teams this way but it seems the easiest way to explain it. Does this make Miss. State the first “Adidas” school with an oversized, non traditional helmet logo? It seems like that has previously been a Nike design with Boise State (blue, white bronco Pro Combat), Oregon (2012 design), Mizzu (Tiger head SEC opener).

Gimmick uniforms are annoying on their own but from a branding standpoint I can’t believe how Adidas and Under Armour continue to present their uniforms in the exact same dark superhero way Nike essentially invented.

TylerD|
September 26, 2012 at 1:33 pm |

Paul, as a Braves fan I really love the name “Atlanta Braves” and it would obviously be difficult to let it go…. so how would you feel if we kept the name Atlanta Braves but started using the name as American patriotism (like the National Anthem “Home of the Brave.”)

and do away with the tomahawk chop. Would that be plausible or do you think the only way to go is a full team name revamp.

Le Cracquere|
September 26, 2012 at 5:12 pm |

On behalf of my Indian forebears, I’d be insulted by any such change. We’re not good enough to have a baseball team named after us? Or the connection is some horrible faux pas that polite people should want to minimize?

TylerD|
September 26, 2012 at 10:04 pm |

I would be 100% against the change. I was basically talking about if the MLB required us to take away anything that had to do with Native Americans. I would probably cry if that happened, though.

walter|
September 26, 2012 at 5:18 pm |

I’d miss the tomahawk. It’s such a spiffy graphic element.

Noah|
September 26, 2012 at 1:37 pm |

I have been trying to find out, who started the BFBS craze? The earliest team I can remember wearing black jerseys where black was NOT one of their team/school colors is Duke basketball? Can anyone shed some light on this for me?

My problem is that no one seems to get the sleeve striping right. The throwbacks sucked in 2009, these, which are the same, still suck. And the Gridiron Uniform Database shows a completely different striping pattern – which also sucks.
Here:See?
And in case you think I’m making this shit up, it’s from this auction.>text

Now… I’m going to put the knife and the ill-fitting glove away – for now.

mike 2|
September 26, 2012 at 2:41 pm |

Related to native American nicknames, let me throw one out to Uni-Watch readership – what’s your thought on Crusaders as a nickname.

I ask because my high school was the Crusaders (Oakville Endive, if he’s around today, will know which one that is). Once I got out of high school and got to reading a little more history, the atrocities committed, I started thinking that this was something we shouldn’t be celebrating.

Christians committed many atrocities (and continue to do so to this day! Hooray religion!), but if a school wants to name themselves that, that – to me – is on par with a predominantly Native American High School wants to name themselves the “Scalpers”.

By all means, name yourself something that’s stupid and brings up a bad part of the history of your race/religion.

Le Cracquere|
September 26, 2012 at 5:14 pm |

Weird: as a Christian, I find the name complimentary.

Arr Scott|
September 26, 2012 at 4:21 pm |

That’s a tougher one for me. Same with Spartans. The Spartans were about the closest thing the ancient world ever produced to modern totalitarian states like Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia. Even the most famous instance of supposed Spartan heroism is mostly BS. From the standpoint of anything a decent person would regard as a virtue, it would make as much sense to name a school team the Jacobins or the Khmer Rouge as the Spartans. On the other hand, that’s so little understood that it seems to do no harm to have kids play under the nickname of a brutal, infanticidal totalitarian slave state.

With Crusaders, as long as it’s a private, not public, school, there may be opportunity to deal both with the historical wrongs of the Crusades and with the concepts of “crusade” that don’t involve slaughtering infidels (and fellow believers, as actual crusaders were wont to do).

Phil Hecken|
September 26, 2012 at 6:52 pm |

“there may be opportunity to deal both with the historical wrongs of the Crusades and with the concepts of “crusade” that don’t involve slaughtering infidels”

and

“Weird: as a Christian, I find the name complimentary.

~~~

shocking

walter|
September 26, 2012 at 4:22 pm |

Mind you, there are different kinds of crusaders. The Syracuse Chiefs rescued their nickname by making it represent a railroad locomotive. I’m fine with this, even if it qualifies as whitewashing.

ChrisH|
September 26, 2012 at 4:54 pm |

The good done worldwide by Christians over the last 1000 or so years far exceeds the evils committed in centuries ago (thank the Lord for the Reformation!).

Crusaders…perfectly acceptable.

Ben D.|
September 26, 2012 at 9:48 pm |

1000 or so years = the last 10 centuries. You fail math.

As for the name: it’s OK for a religious school, but not for a secular one.

tom|
September 26, 2012 at 3:01 pm |

I just saw Miss State’s special football uniforms for the TAMU game and the Egg Bowl.

State has new unis for the Texas AM game. The TAMU – Miss State game is the SEC’s equivalent to Wisconsin vs Nebraska- almost identical uniforms so I’m glad they’re mixing it up.

I like the Gold for the Egg Bowl unis, but where does that come from? Are they using Gold because the Egg Trophy is Gold? Maybe Ole Miss should use Gold for that game too.

Pat|
September 26, 2012 at 3:31 pm |

Don’t bother reading any of the comments over at ESPN on the article that Paul wrote about Native American imagery. A bunch of incoherent babel that is pretty offensive as a whole. No wonder our country is in the toilet if this is how people actually think about things.

JenInChicago|
September 26, 2012 at 3:44 pm |

I just can’t believe how ignorant people are. They completely miss the point or don’t even bother to read the article or the portion where Paul directly addresses their complaint before they can even form them in their feeble minds.

And enough with the Obama bashing….What the hell does that have to do with anything in the article?

You get that when people are allowed to post under temporary pseudonyms. That’s why many sites have switched to Facebook comments; people are unsurprisingly less inclined to spout racist nonsense when those words are to be read by their friends, family, coworkers and the like.

Sites with anonymous comments really ought not allow comments at all. Except for this one. Um, I mean…

“I’m Chance Michaels and I approve this message.”

JenInChicago|
September 26, 2012 at 3:54 pm |

Oh, I know….I work for a social media/web design company. The thing is, some of these folds are using their real names. That’s disturbing.

It’s OK. There’s a certain breed of neanderthal who’s (a) never going to actually think about this issue in a rational way, and (b) is inclined to post internet comments.

Today’s column was not meant to reach those people (indeed, nothing can reach those people). It was intended to reach people who are open to thinking about things. They may disagree with me, but they’re able to do so in a civil, thoughtful manner. They’re also willing to examine their own views and sometimes change them.

The loudmouth neanderthals may rule the ESPN comments, but they’re not the whole world.

Le Cracquere|
September 26, 2012 at 5:29 pm |

I’m torn. On the one hand, many of the responses are unacceptably offensive and rude. Others are merely hostile and dismissive, which is a different proposition.

It’s fallacious to say that every Internet argument warrants a measured, sober hearing–in some cases, that’d be lending it far more respect than warranted. I’m no better than the ordinary run of men, but like most of us, I’m far too good to dignify every single piece of undergraduate sophistry out there by engaging with it on its own terms.

So to that extent, I’m not so sure that most of the commenters’ rejections of the column’s premises qualify as “irrational” or “Neanderthal.”

Scott Bennett|
September 26, 2012 at 7:03 pm |

As long as I can remember, I’ve simply referred to my favourite NFL team as “The Washingtons”. I wold hate to see them change the name to something lame 9senators, federals, insert other government cliches here) but don’t confuse that with wanting the existing nickname. I’d have no problem whatsoever with a change.

Then again, if there’s an NFL team without a logo, why not one without a nickname? How ’bout just calling them “The Washingtons”?

SB

Rob H|
September 26, 2012 at 11:54 pm |

They could change them to the Washington Piggly Wigglys — they already have the hogs for the offensive line, and you’d already have a corporate sponsor all ready to go.

That article about the Dutch soccer team changing their uniforms makes me think that every European soccer team should change their kits to Red, White, and Blue, amiright?! AMERICA!

Scott Bennett|
September 26, 2012 at 7:04 pm |

You’re not right.

bowlerchef|
September 26, 2012 at 7:56 pm |

Andy Williams was also part owner of the Phoenix Suns at one time.

Jacob|
September 26, 2012 at 8:22 pm |

There was a category on Jeopardy! tonight where the clues were about corporate names on sports arenas. I’m ashamed that I knew all of them

Rob H|
September 26, 2012 at 8:49 pm |

Finally got to see the Bucs-Cowboys game and the replay of the official throwing the hat under Ogletree’s foot that someone commented on (it occurs at 2:56 left in second quarter)

The only thing I can figure is that he was throwing it to signal that Ogletree went out of bounds, although watching the replay again it is clear he didn’t step out of bounds, the closest he got was he stepped on the sideline in-bounds hashmarks around the six yard line, although these are replacement officials.

Rob H|
September 26, 2012 at 9:09 pm |

Oh, and by the way, on the final play of the first half the Cowboys threw a hail-mary pass and instead of trying to catch it, the Bucs’ defender knocked the ball away, and there was no way that an official could have called a “simultaneous catch” and given the Cowboys a touchdown.