On being Bruce , Deaf , an attack Rat-squirrel Slave , Surftoys for BigBoys and a Messy Xmas and Hectic New Year

The long running saga of Madpirate becoming Bruce has finally reached its conclusion, on 20th March Madpirate joined the ranks of “Bruces” Ozi Ozi ozi Oi Oi Oi.

Many of the Madpirates friends and traumatised family have told the Madpirate he should write a book on his adventures through the maze of Ozzi Immigration as done in the haphazard and chaotic style of the Madpirate…. So amongst other things here goes ..

It has always been a clearly held manifestation of the Madpirate that at some stage he would cross the pond and settle in the land of Aboriginals , Ozzie’s, Didgeridoos, koalas , Kangaroos, and waves, an enormous coastline littered with waves and unfortunately every good point or beach break seems infested with a seething pack of ill mannered , undisciplined cannibals on varied wavecraft but such is life . Upside Madpirate has been issued with his Australian passport and the time is ripe to be plundering lands offshore where the rabid packs are a bit thinner.

However back to these times , Madpirates prior burst eardrum has healed very well and apart from random bouts of tinnitus all is good in the wax making department , now Huey needs to come to the party , The only decent surf that has been Pirate Pillaged in the these last few months was an attack on the quiet point of Angourie a month back (Nov), where the Pirate took off on a midweek plunder session and scored some really decent waves , however some crew were seen scoring epic Kirra on their webs

Surviving the last 5 months of utter wasteland as far as surf goes has been a complete nightmare for the Madpirate and sadly the forced lack of exercise has resulted in an extra 8 kgs of gutpork attaching itself to the Pirates belly , not a happy Pirate by any means , but on we go, the upside of all that gutpork is that Madpirate has had the opportunity to consider that there are more than a few over 50’s guys and many younger guys that weigh over 97kg’s and that the choice of boards at that weight is extremely limited. Having worked out some really good shapes and volumes for himself, Madpirate is considering launching the MadPirate SurfToys for BigBoys range so far much positive feedback has been received and after the Xmas crayzeee time it shall be so ………

With all that said and done in between working, Madpirate is enslaved by a 2.5 kg attack ratsquirrel , which wondrous creature is presently draped on the Pirates lap , sleeping and farting noxious gasses , every pirate needs a talking parrot on his shoulder , somehow this Madpirate got a farting papillon/chihuahua on his lap , hoping this doesn’t lead to a recall to Pirate school for some re-education ……