Sunday, June 21, 2009

My Husband

My husband, as a young soldier in the 101st Airborne. That's him, back row far left, squinting into the sun. He really was just a boy!

He's my hero. He's brave and loyal and has done many things that I have only read about. He's also the smartest person I've ever met, and a true intellectual. He's tough when he must be and also kind when you least expect it--in fact, he has a sweetness and generosity of spirit that inspires me every day. All of this makes him absolutely impossible to pigeonhole. You just can't categorize the fellow, now matter how much you might think you can, knowing just one set of facts about his life. Most of all, I love how he consistently astonishes the people who try to stereotype him. He is a living reproach to anyone who thinks that people can be packaged up into neat little boxes; in this age of division and thoughtless ideology I meet more and more people who believe in easy labels. My husband's entire complex existence proves them wrong.

32 comments:

Hey baby, that's not the back row. It's the second row first from the left. Jeasus Christ!!! You wacky?

I love you of course. He's sweeeeeeeeeeeeeete! Well, I always knew that, but now I know better. Guns. You know me an my opinion of guns. He looks too young to carry a gun. *Rolls eyes in head.* What? I'm not kidding honey, he looks too young.\XO

That's a wonderful portrait (in both senses). He sounds very special and how lucky that you met each other. As you say, too many people grab at easy labels and stereotypes that trivialise other people's identity.

Suzy!--those t-shirts--we still have many of them hanging around here--they're all like Seinfeld's Golden Boy (remember that episode?)--they're like silk!

Kylie--he is my soul mate. Yesterday he reminded me that we've been together almost 20 years.

Nick--you always have such a pithy way of putting things--labels "trivialise other people's identity," you understand exactly what I'm getting at! Thanks.

lettuce--thank you sweet lettuce! (I love your handle by the way!)

Mme. DeF--it's absolutely incredible how young they all look, with so much responsibility. I think he was all of 19 there. But at the time I was 14! I would have swooned to think that soldier was my future husband...

savannah-I adored your bawdy e-card. Happy Father's Day to MITM and all the good men out there! xo

Hazel--he's truly the real deal. It's nice to be with someone who you don't have to fake it with, you know?

It is so nice to know that marriage strengthens relationships. I have been married over 33 years and just when I think there is nothing new to learn, woosh, here it comes. A great Father's Day tribute to your hubby and Hedgies papa. Thanks for sharing photo and your story.

Hi darling. Thanks for the love and encouragement. I just get in a funk and question a lot of stuff. I know, like every freakin' month! I know you all understand and just allow me to navaigate. Thanks. I love you darling.

All the comments are so cool. He's a looker and a keeper. Can you believe the two of you created Hedgie?! Wow. That's really precious. If you find your voice write about Father's Day and let us all swim in the joy. Love you so much darling. Really, I do.

What are you gathering for Em? You and Honey Hunk will know what she needs. Here's what I have so far, let me know if I'm in the ball park.

1) Some California post cards.2) Candy! I'm not going to send food because I don't know how long a package takes to get to Afganistan yet, and the British woman I spoke with at USPS was so rude I didn't bother to ask. Do you know?3) A book, but I had to take it back. It's Raymond Carver Stories Will you Please Be Quiet, Please? I realize it was a Christmas present. I can't send that. And I haven't read it. I just sat here and read "Nobody Said Anything." Pretty amazing writing. Irving Howe of the New York Times Book Review said "Among the masterpieces of American fiction." He's right. I'll have to read the book before I can pass it on.

Newsweek said, "Filled with glass-sharp details, images and converstations...Carver has a wicked, ironic imagination. With painful, funny acuteness, he captures the electric currents that shoot though people's lives and singe them indelibly." I agree completely!

I got this book Christmas 1993 and still haven't read it. I swear to God it feels as if I got it just yesterday. Almost 20 years ago? That's just pathetic! Okay, so I think I'll send something by Martha Stewart! Or perhaps a current mag like Good Housekeeping. I bet Em would love to learn how to keep dust out of her tent because one can never be to clean or tidy.3) I'm thinking about sending one of the teddy bears. What do you and Sarge think? Too prissy? Or warm and comforting?4) And of course I'm going to send a stuffed heart. You know how I love them so and how they put a smile on a face. However, if this box costs $50, I'm removing everything and just sending a post card. No, I'm not kidding!!! I will just send every post card ever printed in California while Em is navigating life in the Middle East.

Love you darling. XO

P.S. YES, I know I should email this crap, but I gotta wade though a gazillion emails as you know and I just don't have the time. This is quick and easy.

And yes I do remember that Seinfeld episode. Now see, you and I know cotton because it's the fabric of our lives. I love how it softens with age. Yup, turns into silk. Wow, you still have those? Wow. You wash em on gentle for 1 second? I know sista! I'm in the process of trying to save a white t-shirt. I'm almost at the point where I'm going to hand soak it. No, I'm not kidding.

Almost all of the most humbling experiences in my entire life have been because I failed to look past the exterior of another human being and sanctimoniously generalized about who they are before finding out for myself.

Bob made me laugh and Donn made me smile. I saw the word "acerbic" on the side bar while looking at honey hunk and smiled so wide. You know why? Because that beautiful man loves a deliciously smart woman.

I was thinking about how to fit you on my blank canvas today. I can't. You're too big for 3'x 4'. Trust me, I just looked! You need a bigger canvas and I'm not prepared to make one right now. So I'm here looking at honey hunk and laughing at you and all your big words. God, that's one good man!!! And you? Well, you're the best.

That was such a wonderfully written story about your hubby. It should do him proud. I love men in uniforms and men with guns, wheeeeeee, I loved my M-16, oh yes if I could have one of those to take home I would be a happy women. I still got my combat boots and they still shine. They just didn't let us take those M-16's home. Sigh.

Anyway great picture of the guys. Airborne rocks. Rangers rocks. They are the best.

And always be glad that Sarge cannot be figured out, it would make him boring, and you need interesting not boring.