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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Parenting the QBQ way giveaway

Parent. Not many words come with a HUGE list of definitions. The word parent comes with a list a mile long! From "the best years of your life" to "the most frustrating time of your existence," the word PARENT brings happiness, a sense of amazement and earth shattering embarrassment.

I am not perfect, and I know I am far from the perfect parent (if there even is such a thing.) And I am always looking for ways to get better. Not better for me.... but better for my girls. They deserve the very best of every person they come across... and sometimes (more times than I admit to) I struggle with the realization that I am not as perfect as I want to be. I get upset when they choose not to listen, I get embarrassed when they act like uncivilized beasts in public, I get frustrated when Kit Kat pees OUT of the potty for the tenth time in one day (the girl has a stream that would impress the most manly man!)

I giggle at the "LolliPop Guild" voice Kit Kat has....

(It really is priceless!)

It brings tears to my eyes when Pooker shows how big her heart is, the way she cares about others is nothing short of inspiring. My heart aches when I think about my life without my miracles. The simple fact that Pooker was our 3rd pregnancy in 11 months and Kit Kat is part of a twin who never had the chance to fully live... that they were strong enough to remain in my body for 9 full months, when their 3 angel siblings were not, is nothing short of miraculous. It effects me in ways I can not explain when I get upset at them. They are amazing miracles that deserve to be around happy, loving people every second of their lives. I feel less of a parent when I do not give them what they deserve.

But.... I am human. I am not happy every second of every day. And sadly, I sometimes loss my cool around them.

I can blame that on my parents, lord knows I have issues due to my up bringing. But regardless of how I was raised, I am an adult now. I make my choices. Regardless of the emotional abuse I went through as a child.... I know better. I know enough to not be around my parents and to not allow my children to know people like them. But sometimes, just sometimes, I look back at my actions and think "That is my dad!" And that scares me immensely.

Sometimes we get caught up in our actions and daily'isms. Sometimes it takes something to make you think. Something that is filled with common sense.... but still makes you go "Ohhhhhh YEAH! That makes so much sense!" Even if you have already thought about it.... actually seeing it in print coming from another source just makes a difference.

Children are children. There is not much we can do about that. They deserve to be children.... they will only be children for a small amount of time. But instead of "blaming" the negative side of parenting on the children, QBQ asks parents to look within. To ask YOU why your children are acting the way they are. Instead of saying "Why are you doing this to me??" Try to ask yourself "why are they acting this way? What can I do that will make this better?"

The main goal with Parenting the QBQ Way is to look within, instead of outward. A simple concept, really.

Every child is different, every parent is different, every parenting style is different. The key is to find the best style to parent YOUR children. Sometimes seeing words in print makes them clearer than thinking them in your head.

Parenting the QBQ Way is filled with parenting situations from a nightmare on an airplane (nightmare for the child involved!) to sisterly love'ish drama. In every story there is a point where you see what went wrong (and even cringe at some).... It is easier looking in from the outside than it is looking in from inside! Just the simple aspect of it gets you thinking...... all it takes is a thought to begin a change. Just one single thought.

From this book I realized I can stop and take a breather. I can LOOK in and see what is happening, why it is happening and how I can (attempt) to correct it. No one is perfect. And that is okay. All I want is to be better for my babies. And taking a moment to see why something is happening is a huge step in correcting it. (Again... common sense factor.... but I was surprised by how I forgot that. I hold an Early Childhood Development Education Degree..... and yet I forgot this simple skill.)

Parenting the QBQ Way asks you to complete a simple task. A task so simple I kind of laughed at it, at first. But then I thought about it (there is that word THOUGHT again...) What better way to see what is inside of a child's mind than to ASK them. Simple right? The question is "What can I do to be a better mommy/daddy for you?" I thought I knew what the answer was going to be.... If you ask a child what you can do to be better (my children anyway) the words more candy and juice come to mind.... But the answers that came out of my children's mouths.... brought the sun into my house.

Question:
"What can I do to be a better mommy?"
Pooker (5 years old):

"Love me, kiss me and snuggle with me.... but you do that already mommy."

Kit Kat (3 years old)

"buy another mommy..."

With my oldest, I realized that even with my faults.... in her eyes I am the best mommy for her (right now.) With my youngest.... everything revolves around stores...... My sweet Kit Kat, not everything can be purchased. :-)

If you are interested in reading Parenting The QBQ Way.... I have TWO copies to giveaway!!! Thank you to John Miller and Kristin Lindeen, (father and daughter team) for writing and sponsoring this giveaway.