I don’t like posting that I gained a little back after last week, but hey, it’s the truth. After finally getting unstuck and down to 281, I went back up a few pounds. So to the evil number on the scale, I stick my tongue out at you! You will not win, though! I shall be back down to 281 soon and even below it! I will not let the scale beat me!

Yes, I know that I turned medieval in my speech for a bit there, but I just wanted to be honest. It’s not fun to post on a gain, but I also think it’s realistic and people need to hear about the good AND the bad, whether I would rather hide the bad or not. You may notice on my weight tickers to the side that I didn’t change the number to show a gain. I have my reasoning behind this. Seeing 281 on there motivates me to get back there as soon as possible and then lower it! And I will because I have far from given up on losing a lot more weight. I would LOVE by Christmas to be the size I was back in 2005 or as close as possible to that, which was 250 pounds…So I have almost 30+ pounds to go and 5 months? A little over 6 pounds a month average? Do you think I can do it? Well…I plan to try my best! 🙂 Root me on!

Yep, I decided to skip a weigh in today due to having a full on “cheat” day Saturday when I celebrated my wedding anniversary with my husband. I also had a ~cough~ unexpected visitor~cough~ show up early yesterday, which also hurts me when it arrives. With both things AND how depressed I was feeling yesterday, I decided it was in my best interest to just wait until next week to do my weigh in.

Yesterday was a very bad day for me emotionally. I had very good reasons for being depressed. If you understood my poem from yesterday, then you already know why. If not, I don’t feel like outright saying it at the moment. I cried more than I did anything yesterday. Having depression and starting my period yesterday didn’t help things. I was down in the dumps majorly, and my whole body felt like a zombie. It sucked and I can feel the residuals from it still today, but things are a little better. Having said this, I did not ask for help or advice because people do the “compare” strategy. I, myself, use it so I know others do. Well, think of this situation…aren’t you lucky? Yea, yea…but another’s situation doesn’t change how you feel and what YOU feel is 100% real and you have a right to feel it, too. I didn’t want to hear it, honestly. And I didn’t want to answer questions on WHY I was feeling so depressed. While I knew some of the factors, I can’t explain deep depression to anyone who has never felt it. And I can’t be fixed when I am deeply depressed. You can’t cheer me up no matter how much you may think you can. Sometimes when I feel depressed, the best thing for me to do is just to deal with on my own. I know this seems completely unrelated to my weight loss, but this is sort of background to why I’m not posting a weight today.

After a week of getting back to healthy and by then, hopefully bidding adieu to my period, hopefully I will be in better spirits and the scale will have a good number to show! 🙂

Woohoo! Yep, I’ve hit the 75 lb. mark! I lost 2 more pounds since last week and have finally made it to 75 total pounds lost! Now I’m ready to head straight ahead to the 100 mark and….I really think my husband should buy me something really special when I get there, huh? What do you think? 🙂

That’s all I have to say for today as far as my weight….I’m excited!

Picture on left is from today! 🙂

But…sadly, to add a somber note, my husband lost one of his grandfathers this morning. 😦 I lost both of mine when I was still young along with one of my grandmas and now just have one left. I know whenever she passes, it’s going to be hard on me and my family. I especially can’t imagine how his step mom and HER mom(the wife of the grandpa) are feeling. I have friends that have lost moms and friends that have lost a spouse but I’ve never faced either of these things as of yet and just thinking about losing either my mom OR my husband is just so incredibly depressing. Losing people you love just sucks…honestly. My heart goes out to my husband and his sister and his step mom and grandma as well as the rest of their family during this time. I can only imagine what they are feeling right now but they are in my thoughts and prayers! If you would like to send positive thoughts and prayers my hubby and his family’s way, I know they would appreciate it! Thanks to all of you in advance!

If you haven’t already guessed from the title, I am stuck. This makes the second week in a row with no real loss…and yea, it sucks. Still not giving up, but I decided to go against the grain today and do something not everyone agrees with. Today, I am having a Guilt Free Day in hopes that it shocks my system into working again.

If you don’t know what a Guilt Free Day, it’s basically a day where if I eat without worrying about if it’s the healthiest choice or not and I go over my 1200 calorie limit on purpose. A lot of people think this is the worst idea but I have actually done this years ago when I was losing weight and it always worked. I haven’t had a completely Free Day since my birthday back in September and after that one, I had a big drop in weight, so I’m crossing my fingers that this works! I think sometimes your body gets so used to eating one way and losing weight, that after a certain amount of time, it gets used to it and just gradually stops. Once you go a day and totally shock your body, it has to work double time to try to get used to this new challenge THEN you go back to the new normal the very next day, further shocking your body, and hopefully causing it to hit reset and go back to the steady weight loss it grew accustomed to.

So…I have faith this will work and next week, I will be back on track with losing this weight again! Wish me luck!

This is my weekly weight loss check in and by the title you may have already guessed my news for the week…..Yep….same as last week. No loss, no gain..well, OK, that’s not really true, I lost like 1/4 of a pound. LOL…But it’s still the same Main number on the scale so yea, I hit my first week in a LONG time where there’s no poundage lost. I knew it was coming and it happens to everyone but it’s definitely a bummer right now since I am only 4 pounds away from my Christmas goal of 50. But hey, I got to remember the positive….I’m still down 46 pounds and only need 4 pounds more with a month to go! That’s nothing to be sad about at all!

So…I refuse to let this get me down! I am still happy and I feel good about the future and I just KNOW I will reach my goal BEFORE Christmas and I will be able to go even further beyond that! 🙂 So cross your fingers with me that next week, I will return here with some more pounds off…..maybe even the final 4…who knows? Anything is possible if you believe!

“He couldn’t see why people made such a fuss about people eating their silly old fruit anyway, but life would be a lot less fun if they didn’t. And there was never an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.” ~from Good Omens