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Results of the KPOPALYPSE 2016 objectification survey part 1 – BEST ASSES in k-pop!

Here it is – finally the results of the 2016 Kpopalypse Objectification Survey! Read on to see how well your bias performed in the all-important area of being ogled at and fapped to!

Firstly, thanks to all those of you who patiently waited for this. If you’re wondering why there haven’t been any Kpopalypse posts except roundups for a while, this survey is to blame. Collating the results of all your thirsty voting took nearly a week and rivalled the complexity of the recent Australian election results.

This year was the first year where I decided to expand the male and female ass polls, because many readers also wanted to vote for other things. The six categories that you could vote for were:

BEST FEMALE ASS

BEST MALE ASS

BEST FEMALE BOOBS

BEST MALE ABS

OVERALL HOTTEST FEMALE

OVERALL HOTTEST MALE

Readers were asked to nominate up to five people for each category, in order, with the best first. In this survey the order was very important! The higher in the list you placed your chosen idol, the more points they received. If you nominated only one idol, they received all the points for first position but they did not receive any points for positions two to five, even if you listed them five times. Nominations that didn’t also list the name of the group (where applicable) were disregarded. This post will focus on the ASS RESULTS only – boobs, abs and overall hotness will appear in follow-up posts soon!

BEST FEMALE ASS

#1 – Seolhyun – AOA

358 points

(2015 position: #1)

AOA’s Seolhyun maintains her position as the ass queen of k-pop. Kpopalypse readers don’t care about lame controversies, they know that the pretty asses are AOA!

#2 – Yura – Girl’s Day

341 points

(2015 position: #2)

Yura and Seolhyun exchanged leads several times during the poll counting before Seolhyun finally pulled ahead. Yura seems destined for eternal second place in the ass poll, having held this position for three years running, however this time the margin between her and the lead was slightly wider.

#3 – Choa – AOA

255 points

(2015 position: #3)

Speaking of things that became slightly wider in 2016, Kpopalypse readers appreciated the increased girth of Choa this year and her position as third most popular female ass in k-pop was not placed under any threat.

#4 – Dahye – BESTie

232 points

(2015 position: #5)

Despite her nugu group doing virtually nothing over the last 12 months, Dayhe rose to the occasion and moved up a place in the ass poll, knocking out one-time-leader Hyosung, showing the formidable power of those firm asscheeks.

#5 – Hyosung – Secret

226 points

(2015 position: #4)

Hyosung seems to be more about the boobs these days and quality ass shots of her that are recent are also hard to find. Nevertheless readers still found time to vote for Hyosung ass.

#6 – Hwasa – Mamamoo

195 points

(2015 position: #19)

Mamamoo’s fortunes have gradually risen in Korea lately, and so have the genitals of those fapping to Hwasa ass, as Hwasa climbs several poll places relative to last year. Top of that list of fappers would seem to be groupmate Wheein who is photographed close to Hwasa’s buttcheeks whenever possible.

#7 – Soyou – Sistar

179 points

(2015 position: #8)

I’m not sure how she got above her groupmates in the polling this year but… oh wait. Yes I am, never mind.

#8 – Hyorin – Sistar

161 points

(2015 position: #11)

Hyorin performed well this year, I guess those constant summer comebacks are having the desired effect, even if her skin looks a little raw in this picture.

#9 – Momo – Twice

137 points

(2015 position: did not chart)

For someone who doesn’t really flaunt it much (yet), Momo performed admirably in the ass poll, as I suppose one would expect from someone hand-picked for k-pop stardom by confirmed ass man JYP. Give her a couple more years to consolidate her glutes and who knows how far she can climb on this list.

#10 – Bora – Sistar

136 points

(2015 position: #9)

Damn that picture doesn’t even look like Bora. Hell maybe it isn’t Bora. Who gives a shit though.

#11 – Hyuna

106 points

(2015 position: #10)

Although Hyuna these days resembles a Stepford Wife addicted to BB cream, her ass appears to have emerged from the process relatively unscathed and will probably remain etched in the consciousness of Kpopalypse readers for a while to come, even if the YG ice-cream truck gets called.

#12 – Hyomin – T-ara

100 points

(2015 position: #20)

The pictured iconic moment in Hyomin’s “Sketch” MV probably was all that was needed for her to climb several places in the Kpopalypse ass poll. Hyomin paid for her comeback out of her own pocket, so much for lame feminist narratives about her being exploited, she wanted to get on this list.

#13 – Hyunyoung – Rainbow

90 points

(2015 position: #7)

Rounding out the list of top contenders is Hyunyoung, who slipped quite a few places, I think she needs to do some more Black Swanning around.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

#14 – Yuri – Girls’ Generation

#15 – Naeun – Apink

#16 – Tiffany – Girls’ Generation

#17 – Jiyeon – T-ara

#18 – Hani – EXID

#19 – Krystal – f(x)

#20 – Hyejeong – AOA

#21 – Kyungri – Nine Muses

#22 – Nada – Wassup

#23 – Irene – Red Velvet

#24 – Eunji – Apink

#25 – Gain – Brown Eyed Girls

#26 – Sojin – Girl’s Day

#27 – Jei – Fiestar

#28 – Eunjung – T-ara

#29 – Soyeon – T-ara

#30 – Mina – Twice

#31 – Sana – Twice

#32 – Sunny – Girls’ Generation

#33 – Joy – Red Velvet

#34 – Minzy – (ex)2NE1

#35 – Ailee

#36 – Yezi – Fiestar

#37 – Jimin – AOA

#38 – Uji – BESTie

#39 – Minhee – Stellar

#40 – Nari – Wa$$up

#41 – Lime – Hello Venus

#42 – CL – 2NE1

#43 – Mijoo – Lovelyz

#44 – Raina – After School/Orange Caramel

BEST MALE ASS

I know I’ll get flak for this but like I ever cared about that. Kpopalypse is all about equality in fap so the male section now gets equal treatment. Deal with it, you closet gays. All of you guys in denial about your own barely-repressed homosexuality (which seems like a lot of you judging by all the guys who just had to fill out the male section of the survey with some variant of “no homo” to calm your inner gayboy instead of just skipping it even though it was optional) feel free to stop reading here.

#1 – Jimin – BTS

325 points

(2015 position: #3)

Unlike the female ass poll where the competition was hotly contested, Jimin simply walked away with this one (while you all stared at his ass). From the very start of the polling Jimin established a clear lead and none of the competition got anywhere close.

#2 – Sehun – EXO

225 points

(2015 position: #4)

I’m not sure what’s happening in this picture, looks like he might be getting ready to shove a fist up there. Which I think would probably please quite a few readers judging by his performance in this poll.

#3 – Junho – 2PM

174 points

(2015 position: #2)

Posting males and females here in equal quantities is guaranteed to piss off a ton of people, which means that I’ll definitely do it next year.

#4 – Junsu – JYJ

172 points

(2015 position: #1)

Look at that tribal lycra spacesuit. Have you ever seen anything more gay? Yes, probably your own reflection as you stare at the “duck butt” and gradually lose your sanity.

#5 – Minho – SHINee

65 points

(2015 position: #5)

Check out the difference in votes between the top four positions and the rest. When it comes to ass there seems to be a lot of certainty among Kpopalypse readers!

#6 – Jackson – GOT7

63 points

(2015 position: did not chart)

Sorry but I couldn’t find any decent pictures of Jackson’s ass and wasn’t going to spend valuable Raina fap time looking so here’s a picture of him fucking a dog.

#7 – N (Hakyeon) – VIXX

62 points

(2015 position: did not chart)

Hakyeon’s ass is all over the Internet though, which is quite an impressive feat for someone from a group that I’m pretty sure only three people besides me listen to.

#8 – Jungkook – BTS

60 points

(2015 position: did not chart)

Look at him grabbing that thing. He just got up from that hard seat and now he wants to fuck a fangirl to get the lead out of his butt, hey maybe that fangirl is YOU! Okay, not fucking likely, continue to masturbate in your room while crying though.

#9 – Kai – EXO

55 points

(2015 position: #7)

Why is every picture of any EXO member’s ass on the Internet ever the most ridiculous and awkward-looking pose known to man? They’re like the k-pop Kavinsky.

#10 – Rain

49 points

(2015 position: #7)

Not as awkward as this picture of Rain though. This is probably shopped to hell and back (check out the weird straight line down his left side) but like that stopped any fapper fapping this millenium.

#11 – Shownu (Monsta X)

48 points

(2015 position: did not chart)

I can’t even find any pictures anywhere of this guy’s ass, but I guess you all knew about it because he appears in this Sistar video (at 3:21 on the far left) and his ass is actually bigger than any of the asses of the Sistar girls. What the fuck.

#12 – Shindong (Super Junior)

46 points

(2015 position: #6)

Speaking of big things, Shindong’s ass isn’t anywhere on the net either (images of it would probably exceed Australian Internet bandwidth), so just watch this video instead. Poor Super Junior members, they just want to get a break from the idol life and slum it in the trenches like everyone else in the army, but they’re forced to sing and dance. You think they’ve got it easy but the truth is the opposite – they can NEVER ESCAPE. Shindong will probably be forced into doing the “Sorry Sorry” dance to entertain people in the nursing home when he’s 102.

#13 – T.O.P (BigBang)

45 points

(2015 position: #10)

T.O.P on the other hand has definitely had enough of this shit, and he’s getting out, look at that ass go. Has he even been in the army yet? If not I bet he skips it over to Japan to marry some jizz-catching JAV star, and who can blame him.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

#14 – Doojoon – Beast

#15 – B-Bomb – Block B

#16 – Dongwoo – Infinite

#17 – Amber – f(x) (lol you guise)

#18 – Jungup – B.A.P

#19 – Onew – SHINee

#20 – Baekhyun – EXO

#21 – Seungri – BigBang

#22 – Sungjong – Infinite

#23 – Donghae – Super Junior

#24 – Yunho – TVXQ

#25 – Daesung – BigBang

#26 – J-Hope – BTS

#27 – Hoya – Infinite

#28 – Wonho – Monsta X

#29 – Taecyeon – 2PM

#30 – Jr. – GOT7

#31 – Jooheon – Monsta X

#32 – Sungmin – Super Junior

#33 – Xiumin – EXO

#34 – L (Myungsoo) – Infinite

#35 – Kyuhyun – Super Junior

#36 – Jihun – KNK

#37 – D.O – EXO

#38 – Taemin – SHINee

#39 – Seungkwan – Seventeen

#40 – Minsung – Romeo

#41 – Siwon – Super Junior

#42 – S.Coups – Seventeen

#43 – Zico – Block B

#44 – Leo – VIXX

That’s all for this post! But before I go, I shall address one constant question people had:

Will you do thighs, legs, faces, etc?

No, never! If I keep adding extra body parts, where will it end? Fingers? Armpits? Nasal hairs? Thighs are pretty close to the ass and anyone with thighs people like usually has a similarly appreciated ass. Most people gauge attractiveness on facial features too so “overall hottest” kind of covers that. Also the fucking counting took long enough even with these few tiny categories.

I don’t understand why people get so pissed off at equal amounts of male and female pictures, especially when it comes to butt. I like to see asses from both genders, it’s cool to admire the shape, tightness, and overall prettiness of the ass. Ass is a work of art.

My only complain is the lack of GFriend. Maybe it’s because they act like they’re 9-year-old or maybe because their bad plastic surgeries are so distracting you don’t even check the lower half, but readers overlooked Eunha’s and Yuju’s.

As an American and certified homosexual I’d say only Shownu, Kai, Siwon (yes he’s a dick and a half but he at least does squats) and maybe TOP would make my list. Everyone else listed is flat as a board, which I get but makes for a lack of eye candy.

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About This Blog:

A blog created by me so I can write about k-pop related stuff. Some content is related to the k-pop radio show that I host, but most of it is just random shit that I felt like writing. All of it is primarily for my own personal amusement, although if you like it too, that’s fantastic and I love you. Warning: certain posts might occasionally be considered offensive, so if you are an easily offended fucking cunt maybe go read something else instead, thanks. – KPOPALYPSE