PROLOG: Cranky
was talking to a TV critic friend before the all-media screening of Notting
Hill when a tap came upon his shoulder. At the other end of the finger
was a Publicity VP for another studio, who said it to my face: "You're
not so Cranky." Totally demoralized, Cranky slithered into his seat
and watched his foundering rep sink like a stone; crumble into dust like
a vampire destroyed by the brighter than sunlight million dollar smile
of star Julia Roberts.

Movies like
Notting Hill wreak havoc on his reputation. It is funny and romantic
and sexy without a drop of romantic sap anywhere. The story of a famous
American movie star, Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) who wanders into the travel
themed bookstore of average English guy William Thacker (Hugh Grant)
who does nothing more than treat her like a normal, average girl. [Cranky's
been interviewing celebs since he was a teen. The most appreciated thing
(you) can do as an interviewer is to treat them like "normal"
people.] She buys a book. She walks out of his life, which would be the
end of story except for a second meeting on a London street and a glass
of orange juice. This time out a truly flustered Thacker, who isn't so
competent in his romantic dealings with non-celebrities, manages to crack
the thick celebrity shielding that Anna bears -- you can tell the shields
are up because she doesn't smile. Thacker isn't suave or a great seducer,
but something about this average guy strikes a chord inside the average
girl turned $15 million a film movie star. One very impulsive kiss later,
she's out of his life for a second time, but not for good.

Cranky once
got checked out at a big Hollywood party by a very famous Oscar winning
actress. All I got was more chat time than I'd get at a press junket,
proving conclusively that I'm a helluva lot more incompetent with women
than the fictional Thacker. That's why I'm Cranky. Now you know.

Roberts and
Grant deliver more chemistry than you could ever steal out of a high school
science lab locker. The strength in Richard Curtis' screenplay isn't as
much the star power as it is in the strength of the supporting characters.
Every one of them has a story. Every single story will ring some kind
of bell among all of us regular folks and all the performances are worth
noting: Tim McInnerny as William's best friend Max, who does his
best to fix his pal up with a lifemate; Gina McKee as Max' wife
Bella, confined to a wheelchair after a traffic accident (more on this
below); Emma Chambers as the sister whose success in love is as
bad as her brother; Hugh Bonneville as "incompetent"
stockbroker Bernie. We meet this group at a small birthday dinner thrown
for Honey to which Anna invites herself in. Their reactions, from completely
star struck to totally ignorant, are dead on. Their friendship with William,
regardless of whether Anna is part of his life or not, is far more important
to them than any short term starburst.

William's
growing friendship pulls him into the world of celebrity work as he stumbles
into a junket for Anna's new film "Helix" and has to improvise
when he's mistaken for a journalist, and we haven't gotten close to the
bit about the swarming paparazzi. William has little delusion about falling
for a star. Anna has got her own celebrity boyfriend to worry about, and
I think you've been told all you need to know about the story. But Cranky
ain't done . . .

William has
a house-mate named Spike, a slothful, horney Welshman with bad teeth,
a scraggly beard and personal habits that would make a pig in the mud
look good. Rhys Ifans' performance also happens to be split your
sides funny. There must be some award for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy
somewhere (SAG or the Golden Globes might actually have one) 'cuz Ifans
should have a nomination nailed.

The hand
of Roger Michell, the director, is fairly invisible -- as in he
gets everything working so well that there's very little on any acting
or technical level that Cranky can get, um, cranky about. Michell drops
four or five subject related songs over the action, which would normally
piss me right off except that one sequence involves some beautiful morphing
work that portrays the passage of time and the last couple of songs are
classics by Bill Withers and Steve Winwood. The soundtrack,
in general, includes work by Elvis Costello and Shania Twain.
Cranky can't get too angry when the music is good.

Ah hell,
it's incredibly difficult to be cranky when a flick is so much fun. Let's
just flush my rep down the crapper and get this over with.

On average,
a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to
set his own price to Notting Hill, he would have paid...

$6.50

If Cranky
could handle more than one dating relationship at a time, there'd be little
to keep him from seeing Notting Hill again. Pathetically, there
ain't been anything like that in years. <sigh>

Back to Bella
for a sec, as promised. On a personal level, as a disabled person (read
the history page, I don't want to go into it here) I truly appreciate
Curtis' dialog for this character as well as the matter of fact reaction
when Anna asks William "What happened?" The subtle and occasionally
self deprecating remarks that Bella makes about her situation are all
perfectly in character for anyone who has ever been disabled. More important,
her friends take her disability in stride, hammered home in a great scene
towards the end of the flick -- and there is nothing about Michell's direction
that calls attention to that most wonderful bit, which is the way it should
be.