What a lovely feeling to turn over in bed and go back to sleep. I retired yesterday and today is the first day of the rest of my life! There's something to be said for reaching the big 60! Yippeeee!!!!!!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

This writing challenge has changed. Originally Jeff (A Word in Edgewise) started up this monthly challenge, derived from a previous challenge from R.E.H.'s "Picture Fiction Challenge", but Jeff has given it up and Dr. John (Dr. John's Fortress) and Thom (Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever) have taken over. The challenge is now every two weeks and you can get all the details here, where you can also pick up the links to read all the entries. Do pop over and read, you won't be disappointed.

The challenge is you are given a number of pictures and must use some/all of the pictures to create a story.

Marjorie and Herbert were gazing out of the window of the plane, watching the sun rise over the sea. They were on their way to Egypt to see their daughter, Cassie, marry Omari, a local man she had met whilst working on an archeological dig. They hadn’t met Omari, they didn’t know anything about him at all, except that Cassie loved him.

Apparently the wedding was being held in the dessert quite close to the dig, Herbert and Marjorie did not know what to expect never having travelled anywhere but Brighton for their holidays. Cassie had instructed them on what they would need to pack for the week they were to spend in Egypt and she had made all the arrangements; flights, hotel etc. All they had to do was get on the plane and she would meet them at the other end. They were excited about the wedding, the trip, seeing where their daughter had been working, but they were apprehensive about meeting Omari as they knew nothing about him.

The flight was pleasant and their experience through customs in Cairo quite painless. Thankfully Cassie and Omari were there to meet them and before they knew it they were checking in to the hotel. Cassie had booked an expensive hotel, telling her mother and father not to worry about the cost as she would sort it out. She suggested they unpacked and had something to eat and she and Omari would come back for them later, when it was cooler, and take them sightseeing. Thankful for the chance to cool down they kissed their daughter and bid her and Omari farewell.

After exploring their room and marveling at the view from the balcony, Marjorie started unpacking the cases whilst Herbert tried the shower in the marble bathroom. They were both very impressed and couldn’t believe the difference between this luxury hotel and the little B&B where they usually stayed in Brighton. When the phone rang and the receptionist told them Cassie was in the foyer waiting for them they were down there before Cassie had time to blink.

Cassie was taking them to the dig first to show them where she had been working for the past two years and explained that Omari would be there, as he was still working. When they arrived they couldn’t believe the conditions Cassie had been working in but were fascinated to be shown some of the artefacts that had been found. Omari couldn’t go with them for the rest of the sightseeing tour but promised he would see them that evening at dinner.

That evening at dinner in the hotel Cassie and Omari explained the arrangements for the wedding. Tomorrow they would be transported to the venue in the desert and would spend the night in a traditional Bedouin tent until the wedding the following day, then after the wedding, because it would be late and it was too far to bring them back to the hotel they would be staying in the tent again with his parents. Herbert and Marjorie weren’t sure they liked the idea of sleeping in a tent but it seemed like they hadn’t got a choice. The journey took three hours and by the time they reached their destination they were too exhausted to even care that they had to sleep on the floor of a tent, or that the place their daughter was to get married was little more than a deserted shack covered by some sort of awning.

Omari’s parents were gracious and explained that the guests were mostly family and most of them lived in the desert. The wedding seemed to go well, though Herbert and Marjorie couldn’t understand a word of what was said, they just hoped it was legal. Everyone was really friendly and most of the people could speak passable English, so there wasn’t a communication problem. The food on the buffet was like nothing they had even read about let alone experienced and the other guests were keen for them to try the local dishes, much to their surprise, Marjorie and Herbert enjoyed the food immensely, considering they were only used to English fare.

Marjorie and Herbert hadn’t really had time to speak to Cassie much and were concerned that she didn’t really know what she had let herself in for. How would she cope living like this, even at home in Brighton she lived in luxury compared to this. Another night in the tent made Herbert determined to speak to Cassie before they left to find out if she really knew what she had done.

The following day they said their goodbyes to Omari’s parents and the other guests and travelled back to Cairo with Cassie and Omari. Omari apologized that he had to go back to work but Cassie told them she could spend some time with them before they had to leave the following day. Marjorie and Herbert were relieved to hear this, as it meant they could speak to Cassie in Omari’s absence.

Once back at the hotel Cassie sat in the parent’s room and asked if they had enjoyed the wedding. Herbert and Marjorie told her they had but were concerned that her decision to marry Omari meant that she would be spending the rest of her life living in a tent in the desert and they were worried about future grandchildren.

Hearing this Cassie collapsed into fits of laughter.

“Mum, Dad, Omari is the first born son of the wealthiest family in Egypt – they own this hotel!

“Why the wedding in the desert and the tent then?” asked Herbert.

“They don’t live like that all the time Dad, they just wanted a traditional wedding.”

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. "That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are extremely Good Looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: to avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited

Monday, 7 December 2009

A man wakes up in hospital , bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up a month ago on the M8. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...... something happened.

I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the crash, and we were unable to find it.' The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got £9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap.. It's £1000 an inch.' The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want'. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. 'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?' 'I have,' says the man. 'And has she helped you in making the decision?' 'She has,' says the man. 'And what is it?' asks the doctor. 'We're getting a new kitchen.'

Saturday, 5 December 2009

I mistakenly posted this last Saturday forgetting that Raven said there was no Wordzzle last week. So, anyone who commented last week I can tell you you're not going mad you have seen this before!

The idea is, every week Raven (Views From Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either, both or a megawordzzle using all the words, or even all three, it's up to you, you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven. If you join in go to Raven's and put your name on the Mr. Linky so other participants can come visit you.

Within an hour of arriving at the Coconut Haven Resort David had donned his sunglasses and was soothing his frazzled nerves with a glass of rum punch, whilst listening to the quartet that were playing at the pool bar. Reaching for a juicy peach from the bowl on the bar he bit into it as he surveyed the people idling round the pool. He noticed an elderly lady returning to her sun lounger from the aerobics class and thought how sprightly she was, he also noticed the huge diamond necklace she was wearing.

Somehow David and Dorothy (the diamond woman ) were seated together at breakfast and before long Dorothy was telling him her life story and they got on like a house on fire. Three days later David was knocking on Dorothy’s door to escort her down to dinner when he discovered the door was open. Gingerly he pushed it open further and discovered Dorothy tied to the radiator, gagged and bound. He quickly untied her and picking up the phone he dialed reception asking them to call the police. Dorothy managed to tell him that she had opened the door to a knock thinking it was him and a masked man had knocked her off her feet, tied her up and stolen her jewelry from the safe, which had been open because she had been choosing which jewelry to wear. David admonished her saying “I told you to keep your jewelry in the hotel safe!”

He soothed Dorothy’s shattered nerves and accompanied her to the police station, thankfully she wasn’t hurt but she was very shaken and insisted the hotel arrange a flight home for her that day. The jewelry was insured so she wasn’t too upset, it could be replaced she told David and she insisted on taking him to a jewelers to buy him an expensive watch for rescuing her, before she left. David told her it wasn’t necessary but she insisted so he accepted the gift with good grace.

After waving goodbye to Dorothy at the airport David returned to the hotel and took up his place at the pool bar. The barman slid a glass of rum punch across the bar said

“You’re losing your edge David, those diamonds were fake but you still did well at least you got an expensive watch out of it!”

And for the mini: bees, crackling, wooden, staple, earful

Martin cautiously approached the wooden hive wearing the staple beekeepers hat and suit. He was aware of the crackling noise of the veil as he moved and he tried desperately to keep calm about the bees buzzing round his head. Eventually he completed his tasks and was able to remove the beekeeper’s garb. He looked at his supervisor and asked “Did I do OK?”

“Well you didn’t check that the veil was down properly and had this been the real thing instead of a simulation you would have ended up with an earful of bees!”

Megawordzzle

Maggie was a sprightly pensioner; she refused to wear the stereotypical pearl necklace and twinset, instead opting for cutting edge fashion and sunglasses with everything. She had moved into sheltered accommodation at Sunny Haven and had shaken the peace and tranquility of the place as soon as she’d arrived. The first people she had wound up were the quartet of women who virtually ran the place because they’d been there so long. They were like bees buzzing around into everyone’s business, their voices crackling through the corridors as they gossiped about the other residents. It wasn’t long before their noses were firmly out of joint as Maggie took over.

Organisation was Maggie’s forte, she had been an events organizer before she retired and within a couple of weeks of arriving at Sunny Haven she had set up weekly exercise classes and workshops on everything from tiedyeing to making wooden toys. She was horrified when she discovered the residents’ staple diet was sandwiches, as they couldn’t be bothered cooking, so she worked tirelessly until arrangements were made for them to get a proper cooked lunch every day in the common room and a supply of juicy fruit whenever they wanted it. Maggie was always on the telephone to someone giving them an earful about what was needed, telling them that she wanted whatever it was NOW not in a month’s time. She never looked frazzled and the other residents marveled at how she was always on the go.

Life was such much better at Sunny Haven since Maggie’s arrival, everyone agreed, except the quartet. They wouldn’t join in any of the activities and complained about everything Maggie did. Maggie tried to make friends with them and include them, she suggested they form a committee but they wouldn’t hear of it.

When one of the more senior residents, Bill, passed away it came to light that he had no family to take care of his funeral arrangements and no money either with which to pay. The quartet were terribly upset about the situation as they had had known Bill for many years and really liked him. Reluctantly it was to Maggie they turned asking if she knew if there was any way a decent funeral could be arranged for him. Maggie sorted everything out and Bill got a decent send off with all his friends from Sunny Haven attending, she had even arranged a sit down meal for everyone after the funeral. From then on the quartet thought Maggie was wonderful with all her contacts and know-how and were falling over each other to join her committee. From then on things just got better and better and Maggie was in her element.

What they didn’t know was that Maggie wasn’t short of money, she had been married to a very wealthy man and inherited enough money to keep her comfortably for the rest of her life, after he died. She only lived at Sunny Haven for the company because she had no family. They also didn’t know, and they never would, that she had paid for Bill’s funeral herself. Maggie was happy again.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

This writing challenge has changed. Originally Jeff (A Word in Edgewise) started up this monthly challenge, derived from a previous challenge from R.E.H.'s "Picture Fiction Challenge", but Jeff has given it up and Dr. John (Dr. John's Fortress) and Thom (Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever) have taken over. The challenge is now every two weeks and you can get all the details here, where you can also pick up the links to read all the entries. Do pop over and read, you won't be disappointed.

The challenge is you are given a number of pictures and must use some/all of the pictures to create a story.

For this challenge we were given 4 pictures and some lyrics to use.

Julie and Gabe sat watching the capsules full of people rise into the sky on the London Eye. They were taking a lunch break from their job and enjoying the sunshine in the square.

“I’m leaving Julie” Gabe told her. “I’ve finally got a post in the City, at last someone has taken my degree seriously” he said.

“How could I forget you and the boys. You’re all so special; Vinnie, Freddie, Juan, Arnold and the others, we’ve had some great times the past two years.”

Of course, as always when someone leaves a job promises to keep in touch become like pie crusts, made to be broken, and Julie and the boys didn’t see Gabe again.

Gabe made a great success of his job in the city, he got rich and bought the big house and car but he never did forget Julie and the boys, it was always his intention to go back once he’d made it. Five years had passed when Gabe parked his car and checked the mirror to make sure Julie was there, still working in the ticket office of the London Eye.

Resplendent in his suit and bowler hat he got out of the car, went to the boot and removed the things he had packed into it earlier. Setting up the table he covered it with a cloth and placed the crockery and cutlery on it then the food from the hamper. By the time he sat down to eat they were all there – his friends – Julie and the pigeons; Vinnie, Freddie, Juan, Arnold and the others, he’d come back to feed them like he used to do when he worked with Julie in the ticket office.

“They’re singing Gabe, the pigeons are singing and you know what they’re singing?” Julie asked.

Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.

Well the names have all changed since you hung around,

But those dreams have remained and they’re turned around.

Who’d have thought they’d lead ya (Who’d have thought they’d lead ya)

Back here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)

Yeah we tease him a lot cause we’ve got him on the spot,

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

“I told you I’d be back Julie, will you marry me?”

Apparently the lyrics are from the song “Welcome Back Kotter”. I’ve never heard of the song or the programme but I Googled it, which is where I got the names from.

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"One's life is never in vain, no matter how short, if people remember you." Akelamalu 2009

"A person only has to prove what they believe if they are trying to convince someone else that it's true. I don't bother trying to prove anything because what others believe doesn't matter to me." Akelamalu 2010

Welcome to my home from home......

Take your shoes off and stay a while. Please leave a comment - I love comments and I promise to return the favour.

Who I am

I'm a Scorpio female, married with two sons, four grandsons and one granddaughter. Akelamalu is my Hawaian name, not that I'm Hawaian you understand I just like the name.
As my header says "I may tell you everything. I may tell you nothing" - depending on the mood I'm in.
I also practice Reiki, if you want to know more about this please see my favourite posts.
I have a webpage where I have published my Grandmother's biography, which was written by my father when he was 72. You can read it or buy a hard back copy - just click on the links above the photograph of KIT.
All photographs on this blog are copyrighted 2007 and must not be used without express permission from me.

DAN'S FI-VER (MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS) - My son's blog

MY WEBSITE - KIT - A BIOGRAPHY OF MY GRANDMOTHER

Kit - Book Reviews

Stephen

This was a fantastic read. My mother is a niece of Joe and so Kit was my Great Grandmother, and so relating to some of the characters was fantastic. Thanks for a moving tribute to our Great Grandmother.

Lorraine

How lovely and a wonderful tribute. Your father must be so proud and I think it is incredible he took the time to sit and write this out. I am so happy for him that this has seen the light of day and we are all able to read his words. Say a big thank you to him from me please.

Fancita

This has been the most moving story I have read in a long time. I will read this over and over again. Such a wonderful give you have given.

Jackie

I loved Kit's story! My family are from the same area, so much of it was very familiar to me. It is a wonderful heirloom!

Andrew

This biography is of my great grandmother. I am the youngest son of one of Joe's nieces and really enjoyed reading and learning lots about the family history. Thanks for the moving history lesson.

Mary

Beautiful.... spent the last few days reading this on and off. Once I started reading this I could not stop. Heartworming. Memories...

M.M.

Have done nothing else today but read your mother's story. Once I started I couldn't stop. She would be very proud. Thanks for a very fascinating and moving story!! I will be going to England for the first time later this month, but not around the Manchester area. It is a place I have always wanted to visit, not for the least of which is the resilience of it's people which your family's story certainly demonstrates. Thanks.

momo

its quite amazin becuse in scool we r learnin about riting a biography of 1 of our parents.i love it!!!!!

Robin

Loved it! Started and couldn't stop until the end. My only complaint is that I couldn't view any but the first photograph - would've loved to see more of Kit and her family. What a wonderful thing to do and what a treasure for Kit's family!

Karen

I have just finished reading KIT - A Biography of my Mother. What a wonderful, heartwarming story, I enjoyed each and every chaper. Hope it will be published as a book for all to read.

Lettuce

This is wonderful, Lamalu - i've got tears on my face too, lovely writing and what a great story and insight and memory - and everything that it is! i've just read the beginning, and will be back soon for more.Congrats, this really is marvellous!

Annelisa

I've read 'The Beginning'... the birth of Kit...and was engrossed! Although there was strife, and the catholics and protestants were not good bed-fellows, it is beautiful that your grandmother and grandfather came together, and in their affection for each other gave birth to little baby Kit... I will be back to read the next chapter soon... I would love to know more about this (your) family!

Dauna

I love the words that have flowed from your heart about your mother Kit. I feel like I know you and her through your words. I have tears in my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing it was beautiful. I will be sending people to read this and hope you publish in book form I would buy. Oh my what a great heart warming story of your mothers life, love ,struggles, wonderful children and victory. Kit lived!Many blessings to you,Angel

Thank you Ron.

AWARDS - To see who awarded what and when click on view all images.

The Reiki Precepts

Just for today I will not worry;
Just for today I will not get angry;
Just for today I will be thankful for my many blessings;
Just for today I will be honest in my dealings with people;
Just for today I will be kind to every living thing.