Frigid female Woody Allen fans, take note! A North Carolina anesthesiologist says he's created the ultimate Orgasmatron: An implanted, remote-controlled device that stimulates a sweet spot on your spinal cord to help you get off. [Esquire]

There's an obese, socially-retarded, Dan Aykroyd-looking, X-Files obsessed librarian in Gainesville, Florida looking for love on Esquire.com. He sounds like the ultimate "loser-in-dating" cliche, perhaps, but his name is Paul and he seems nice. [Esquire]