WEBVTT JESSICA: WELCOME BACK TO "MATTEROF FACT."I'M JESSICA GOMEZ FOR SOLEDADO'BRIEN.HE WAS A SELF-PROCLAIMED WHITESUPREMACIST.>> 'BLACK PEOPLE ARE INFERIOR'JESSICA: A MEMBER OF THE ARYANRESISTANCE MOVEMENT, TONMACALEER WAS A SKINHEADRECRUITER.HE ATTENDED CROSS BURNINGS ANDPARTICIPATED IN VIOLENT ATTACKSAGAINST MINORITY GROUPS.BUT TODAY, HE'S HELPING PEOPEXTRICATE THEMSELVES FROM THESAME EXTREMIST LIFE HE ONCELIVED.TONY MCALEER IS THE EXECUTIVEDIRECTOR OF 'LIFE AFTER HATE.' THANKS FOR BEING HERE.JOINING US AND TALKING ABOUTTHIS TIME IN YOUR LIFE >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME JESSICA: YOUR FATHER WAS APSYCHIATRIST, YOU CAME FROM ANUPPER MIDDLE CLASS BACKGROUND.BUT YOU STARTED WITH THE SKINHEAD MOVEMENT AND IT WAS REALLYTHROUGH MUSIC.BUT NOT SO POLITICAL AT FIRST >> NOT AT THE BEGINNING.NO.BUT AS IT STARTED TO GETPOLITICAL I SEIZED UPON THAT.EVERY CHANCE I GOT WAS TO GO ALITTLE MORE EXTREME.AND ONCE I GOT INTO IT, I WASN'TFOLLOWING IT, I WAS DRIVING IT.JESSICA:Y OU STARTED ORGANIZING,YOU STARTED RECRUITING FOR SOMEVERY EXTREME GROUP>> WHEN I GOT INVOLVED WITH THESKINHEADS, MY BULLYING SURVIVALSTRATEGY WAS TO BEFRIEND THE BULLY, BECOME THEBULLY.I SOUGHT SOLACE IN THE EYE OFHURRICANE -- THAT'S WHERE THESAFETY WAS FOR ME.AND IN ORDER TO HAVE THAT SAFETYAND PROTECTION I NEEDED THEIRRESPECT AND IN ORDER TO HAVETHEIR RESPECT I HAD TO COMMITALL THE SAME VIOLENCE THEY DID.FOR SOMEONE WHERE VIOLENCE WASNEW, I AM GOING TO BE HONEST, ILIKED IT.EVERY STEP DEEPER I GOT GREATERSENSE OF POWER AND THRILL ANINTOXICATION. JESSICA: WHAT DO YOU REGRETMOST?>> IF I THINK BACK TO THE EVENTI CARRY THE DEEPEST SHAME ABOUTIT WAS THE BASHING OF A GAY MAWE WERE ABOUT 17 WE WEREDRINKING BEER IN THE PARK WHEREGAY MEN WOULD GO.WE CHASED HIM INTO ACONSTRUCTION SITE.HE RAN INTO THE CONSTRUCTIONSITE AND RAN INTO THISCRAWLSPACE ABOUT THAT HIGH INTOTHE DARKNESS.WE PICKED UP STONES, LIKESKIPPING STONES AT A LAKE, ANDTHREW THEM INTO DARKNESSAND EVERY SECOND OR SO WOULDHEAR A YELL OF PAIN FROM MANHIDING IN THE DARK.I LOOK BACK AND THINK WHAT WOULDIT HAVE BEEN LIKE TO BE THAT MAN?HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, HEDIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF IJESSICA: THERE WAS A TURNINGPOINT FOR YOU.WHAT WAS I>> THE BIRTH OF MY DAUGHTER.I FOUND MYSELF IN DELIVERY ROOMHOLDING A BABY GIRL WITH ASCRUNCHY FACE AND SHE OPENS HEREYES FOR THE FIRST TIME AND ICONNECTED WITH ANOTHER HUMANBEING FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE ICAN REMEMBER.IN ORDER TO BE IN THE MOVEMENTAND COMMIT THAT VIOLENCE, I WASDISCONNECTED FROM MY HEARTIT STARTED A PROCESS WHERE MYHEART THAWED AND BEGAN TO OPENUP AND I REDISCOVERED MY OWNHUMANITYJESSICA: YOU SAY EXTREMISTGROUPS OF ALL KINDS, NOT JUSTWHITE SUPREMACIST, FOR THEMOFTEN IDEOLOGY IS NOT EVEN THEDRIVING FORCE, IT IS MORE ABOUTACCEPTANCE>> REGARDLESS OF THE IDEOLOGY,RESEARCH SHOWS THAT THE NUMBERONE CORRELATED FACTOR IN THEHISTORY OF SOMEONE JOINING AEXTREMIST GROUP IS CHILDHOODTRAUMA.JESSICA: WHEN YOU TALK TOVICTIMS GROUPS, PEOPLE WHO HAVEBEEN VICTIMS OF THE SAME KIND VIOLENCE YOU WERE A PART OWHAT DO YOU SAY TO THEM?>> I THINK I SHARE WITH THEM MYSENSE OF DEEP SHAME ABOUT THETHINGS THAT I DID AND IF I DIDNOT DO IT TO THEM PERSONALLY, IDID TO THEIR COMMUNITJESSICA: TONY MCALEER FROM LIFEAFTER HATE.