9250- When commanding the production of diapers, thou shalt nominate the number and nature required; thus so many of Huggies, and so many of Depends; and thou shalt also list the recipients of same, that they may be held up to proper ridicule.

Vasco Pyjama asked Mr Curly: What is worth doing and what is worth having? Mr Curly replied: It is worth doing nothing and having a rest.-- The Curly-Pyjama Letters

9247: If thou would wish people to not touch you "there", thou shalt not wear clothing with invitations to touch thou "there". For example, the young woman with the T-shirt that read "Rub these for Luck" might wish to reconsider her apparel choices.

Davros, Attorney and Pieces of LawKeeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.comWe make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal

9246: Thou shalt not tell a pneumatic young lady thou meetest in a pub "I bet you a pound I can make your breasts jiggle without touching them"; for when she accepts your bet, and you have grabbed her chest, given it a good jiggle and then handed her a pound; she shall call the police and have thou arrested and put on the Sex Offenders Register.

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." Abraham Lincoln"Are you OK?" daftbeaker (<-- very good question, people should ask it more often.)

Roy Hunter wrote:9246: Thou shalt not tell a pneumatic young lady thou meetest in a pub "I bet you a pound I can make your breasts jiggle without touching them"; for when she accepts your bet, and you have grabbed her chest, given it a good jiggle and then handed her a pound; she shall call the police and have thou arrested and put on the Sex Offenders Register.

9243 (9246b): Thou shalt not tell a young lady thou meetest in a pub: "I bet you a pound you can't make my balls jiggle without touching them with your hands" for verily she shalle kick thou in'st thine bollockes and thou shalt have lost a pound and thou shalt be in pain.

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

9242- In fact, should thou meetest a young lady in a pub, thou shalt say naught but 'Hello', and then smile and agree a lot, for therein lyeth thy best hope; as detailed by the prophet Roy in another place.

Roy Hunter wrote-

You are banned for thinking when a woman is talking to you. You shouldn't be thinking, you should be listening and saying "Yes, dear" as and when required.

Vasco Pyjama asked Mr Curly: What is worth doing and what is worth having? Mr Curly replied: It is worth doing nothing and having a rest.-- The Curly-Pyjama Letters