Porn Stars Joanna Angel, Mercedes Carrera, Dana DeArmond, Mandy Muse, and Jaclyn Taylor have a message for Texas Senator Ted Cruz: Stop watching porn. This new Funny or Die video comes just days after Lying Ted got caught liking Cory Chase porn on Twitter. And we have to say, this video was actually funny. “Bottom line is we don’t want our films anywhere near Ted Cruz, because he’s too gross,” said Mercedes Carrera. She added, “I have seen things you can’t imagine coming out of the anuses of some of my co-workers.” Dana DeArmond said, “I’ve snorted cum.” And Joanna Angel finished saying, “And Ted Cruz is grosser than all of that combined. It’s like not even close.” “How am I supposed to explain to my family that Ted Cruz might watch my videos?” said Mercedes in closing. It was funny.

Porn stars are people too, and they like everyone else are on Tinder looking for people to fuck. So, you never know, the next hook up you find could be from your favorite porn star, if you play your cards right, and know what those girls are looking for. And maybe they have a pulse on what all girls are looking for, so upping your porn star game, may just up your girl next door game too. Maybe not. Porn stars Dana Dearmond, Anikka Albrite, Skin Diamond and Penny Pax are giving out free pearls of wisdom, so the next pearl necklace you drop may be on the chin of a porn star, and not just your sock. Cause that’s a serious pearl necklace fail.

Skin Diamond gives great blowjob advice, “You want to make love to the cock in your mouth…. If you can get it to the back of your throat, you can stick your tongue out and lick the balls.” These are pearls of wisdom here, as porn stars Dana Dearmond, Alix Lynx and Skin Diamond teach ordinary girls how to suck a dick (using a popsicle). This is a PSA that every woman should watch.