Time again, that is, for Alabama Aesop to give us his take
on the state of our state.

Me: Welcome Mr. Aesop. There's been a lot of
talk lately about the Alabama Accountability Act, which will give tax credits
to parents in failing schools to send their kids elsewhere, including private
schools. It is either historic or horrific, depending on whom you ask. What do
you make of it?

Aesop:One time there was an ol' fox who got tore
up by a mess o' dogs. He was laid up in a cave, hungry as all get-out, when he
saw a rabbit hop by. "Help me rabbit," he hollered. "Bring me some water, and I'll
be able to get my own self some meat." The rabbit just looked at him and
smiled. "Yeah, he said. "I bet you would."

Me: I don't get it. You mean we're not supposed
to help the sick.

Aesop: It means callin' it "accountability" don't
make it so.

Me: There have been a lot of questions about the
bill and the way it was passed. But the governor and legislative leaders have repeatedly
dismissed those, asking Alabamians to trust them to work out the details later.

Aesop: Reminds
me of that ol' coyote what got so used to eatin' eggs. He wandered down to the
coast one day and found himself a big ol' oyster. Figuring' it was a
funny-lookin' egg, he swallered it whole. O' course, it weren't long afore he
started hurtin' bad.

Me: So everything isn't what it appears?

Aesop: You gotta know what you have before you
swaller it whole.

Me: Got it. We're still trying to figure out how
we'll pay for the AAA. We don't know how much it will cost in tax credits,
lawyers' fees, or costs of setting guidelines and certifying private schools. It
would be easier to believe leaders really want to improve schools if they didn't
cut funding to the Alabama Reading Initiative, give nothing to gifted education
programs and fund the Alabama Math, Science and Technology Initiative at less
than its former levels.

Aesop: It reminds me of those chickens who got a
little scared of an ol' chicken hawk. The rooster went and talked to a fox
about some protection. But soon as Mr. Fox got inside the coop, there was
nothing left but squawks and feathers.

Me: Ah, the old fox in the henhouse fable.

Aesop: Different fox. The point here is that you want
to avoid a solution that's worse than the problem you had.

Me. At any rate, further debate about this act
will come in the courts. Alabamians are left only to ponder how a vague bill with
volatile consequences was passed in secret, with acknowledged trickery. Should we be nervous? After all, this Republican
super majority swept into the Legislature promising better than the unfettered
Democratic corruption that came before.

Aesop: Reminds me of the cow who
hired hisself an ass to watch over his orchard. Soon he starts to notice bites
out of his apples, and knows he's got a bad ass on guard. So he fires that ass,
and goes out to hire a wolf instead. "I'll never eat your apples," the wolf
promises. And he don't. But perty soon he eats that cow.

Me: So the Republicans are wolves now?

Aesop: No. It ain't about that. The point is that a
tyrant of any party or persuasion is no better than a petty thief. And a whole lot more
dangerous.

John Archibald's
column appears Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays in the Birmingham News, and on
AL.com. Write him at jarchibald@al.com

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