The SDFLA Blog is dedicated to providing news and notes regarding federal practice in the Southern District of Florida. The New Times calls the blog "the definitive source on South Florida's federal court system." All tips on court happenings are welcome and will remain anonymous. Please email David Markus at dmarkus@markuslaw.com

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Middle District news

Judge Gregory Presnell from the Middle District of Florida is a favorite of the federal court junkie... This latest order shows why:

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURTMIDDLE DISTRICT OF FLORIDAORLANDO DIVISION

This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff’s Motion to designate location of a Rule30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion – the latest in a series ofGordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts – it is ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of “rock, paper, scissors.” The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.

DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.

GREGORY A. PRESNELL

United States District Judge

LOVE IT! Okay, so there's going to be a high stakes games of rock-paper-scissors... What is your strategy? Do you start with the safe play of rock or do you get coy and go paper? But then again, maybe you should start with scissors... Ah, the complexity and strategy of a good r-p-s game! It really should have been best of 5 or at least 3 so that the lawyers could get a feel for each other, don't you think?

In related news, Judge Cooke has decided that the guilt or innocence of Jose Padilla will be determined by one game of "Candyland." The government had sought to have the matter determined by one match of thumbwrestling, but Judge Cooke remained firm: "No. Candyland."

The judge's order might be some due process issues. It could prejudice a party based on where the attorney or client grew up.

For example, on Long Island, in North Massapequa, we never did rock, paper, scissors. We were, however, familiar and skilled at "one potato, two potato," "eeny meenie," and choosing by "shooting" fingers in odds, evens.

Thus, I would raise a constitutional challenge if forced to use the alien dispute resolution form of rock, paper, scissors.

A way to resolve this might be for it to be incorporated into each court's local rules. Then, of course, bar associations can offer Rock, Paper, Scissors CLE courses to ensure a level playing field.

I think this order is just rife with even more potential complications. Is it "One Two Three!" or "One Two Three SHOOT" as it in some circles? Is it sudden death or best 2 out of 3? What happens in case of a tie?

The Southern District of Florida blog was started by David Oscar Markus, who is a criminal trial and appellate lawyer in Miami, Florida. He frequently practices in federal courts around the country, including his hometown, the Southern District of Florida and the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals. He is a former law clerk to then-Chief Judge of the District, Edward B. Davis.