A man that feeds off the juice that comes outa the anus.. and must butt loving you to survive. If they get you too hard.. They might turn you into a anal vampire. And your forced to go around at night to butt love everyone to survive..To repell a anal vampire! spit out your window and pee all over your bed partner and eat your shit.
How to kill an anal vampire. This is most difficult! You must steal his magickal gold. In his left hand. Then you most make sure to stab a stake in his weewee and his butthole. This should paralize him. Then you must give him a alaskan firedragon so he chockes and dies..
How to tell if your friends a anal vampire. First.. if he says he likes big butts and tight butts.. Second, If he talks about bleeding from his penis. Last, If he eats bananas. alot.
Btw, These are real. Females can be infected too...

OMG... This man snuck in my bed last night and gave me some butt lovin'... Think he was a anal vampire.