Selections: Our picks of the week's best events, Dec. 28 - Jan.3

MUSIC
Sweaty, hairy Florida duo Le BLORR (that's Bastard Lovechild of Rock & Roll, if you're into acronyms in your rock & roll) ruled the game in this state for a few glorious years, a mess of big noise and bigger attitude that seemed readymade for arenas and festivals from downright minimal raw material and vocals. For a moment there, it looked like the twosome – Chris Hess (vocals/guitar) and Adam Wynn (drums) – were going to hit the big time with their Technicolor garage rock, but it wasn't meant to be. Next thing you know, Hess and Wynn had moved on to their more meditative indie psych project, SWIMM, where they're currently crafting serrated hymns and sweating it out in Los Angeles. But the holidays are here, and it has the odd effect of bringing people back home under the soft glow of nostalgia and second chances, so we're one of only a couple of Florida cities benefitting from a brief spate of reunion shows at the end of this month. 'Tis the season. – Matthew Moyer

If you love a holiday parade – or just love standing around downtown – don't miss this beloved annual tradition, a 1.4-mile processional of floats studded with thousands of pieces of citrus fruit alternating with high-school and college marching bands from across the country. Standing (and sniffing – wheeew, orange juice!) is free, of course, but elevated seating is also available for $29 per keister. As we went to press, grandstand seating was still available, but it tends to sell out – so if you want to observe in comfort, you'd better snap up tickets fast. The Citrus Parade is televised "in over 75 percent of the TV markets in the United States as well as international locations such as Canada, the United Kingdom, Puerto Rico, U.S. Virgin Islands and the military syndicated channel America One," according to parade organizers, so whether you sit or stand, this is your chance to make Northerners jealous as you gently perspire for the camera. – Jessica Bryce Young

Before you kick 2016 to the curb, there's one last event this year that might make it slightly redeemable after all the garbage it churned out. Legendary hip-hop band the Roots are coming to play in Orlando right after Christmas and before New Year's, in an effort to end this year on a high note. The Philadelphia collective, named one of the greatest live bands by Rolling Stone magazine, includes original founding
members Tariq "Black Thought" Trotter and Ahmir "Questlove" Thompson. Come for the soulful music and stay for the lyrical flow of learning. – Monivette Cordeiro

Detroit scum-rock quartet the Deadly Vipers (formerly the Lady Snowblood-esque Deadly Viper Assassination Squad), despite their young age, have neatly sidestepped the more big-business side of modern Detroit rockers, and made a beeline for the dark alleys and forgotten corners of the truly fucked sound of the city. Think the Gories, the Stooges, Protomartyr, Wolf Eyes. Right now they've got the Cataclysmic Events 7-inch EP, and earlier this month dropped a full-length album, A Night of Fright, on their Bandcamp page. Both are packed full of deranged, swampy, headtripped, skronked-out loser anthems. Local support comes from the Golden Pelicans, who know the good trash, for God's sake. Recommended as a great way to cap off the live music end of 2016, during a part of the year that's usually the live music dead zone, between Xmas and New Year's. 'Tis the season? – MM

We're going into this year's Citrus Bowl with some high-stakes questions: Will the absence of Leonard Fournette on the field leave LSU in ruins despite an otherwise impressive season? Will Lamar Jackson's Heisman win go to his head, creating an unchecked whirlwind of ego on the field and dooming Louisville? And most importantly: When, exactly, will Orlando get the downtown Buffalo Wild Wings location its residents sorely deserve? Sure, fans could make the trip down to I-Drive to the nationally known eatery and bar's closest location, but then they'd have to hold back on B-Dub's amazing selections of bucket beers and choice cocktails. How does the NCAA expect downtown Orlando to truly enjoy the Citrus Bowl experience when the game's very namesake is an exceedingly expensive Uber ride away? Of all the bars celebrating college football downtown on this very day, we're not hearing from the one we hoped would text back. And that's not right, Buffalo Wild Wings. We're tired of making sacrifices for a Parmesan Garlic-encrusted flight of boneless fancy! There's no Asian Zing left in this relationship, so quit being a Caribbean Jerk and bring the Sweet BBQ to downtown. Come over to our place for once – and stayover. If you don't, we can't be held responsible for how many times we call you after digging into some Bourbon Honey Mustard. You knew we were full of Salt and Vinegar when you met us. – Abby Stassen

As of press time, we've managed to make it through 2016 – a year fraught with celebrity deaths – without losing singular American songwriter and performance artist Tom Waits. But if we've learned anything from this year, it's that it's just a matter of time before things get worse. That fatalistic outlook has been a hallmark of plenty of Waits songs over the years, like 2002's Blood Money standouts "Everything Goes to Hell" and "God's Away on Business." For New Year's Eve, local Waits devotee Kaleigh Baker – who routinely inhabits the same dimly lit, whiskey-soaked musical terroir as Waits – offers up an entire evening to his songs, interpreting them in her distinctly powerful voice with accompaniment from some of Orlando's best musicians. Something of a moody alternative to the raucous New Year's Eve party featuring Jello Biafra next door, Baker's Blue Year's Eve only has a limited number of tickets available, eliminating the shoulder-to-shoulder cramped vibe that a busy night at Lil Indies can result in. To accompany the night of Kaleigh and Co. using beautiful melodies to tell you terrible things, Indies is working on a special all-Tom Waits-inspired menu, a slight break from their usual one-Tom Waits-themed-drink per seasonal menu policy. – Thaddeus McCollum

Fans of the Fallout series of video games may recognize our current political situation – a thin-skinned man-baby president-elect destroying relations with China before he even gets into office – as oddly similar to the backstory to those games, where conflict between China and the United States results in an apocalyptic nuclear war. The games take place roughly 200 years after that as-yet hypothetical cataclysm, but Cloak & Blaster is giving you the chance to celebrate the nuclear holocaust months
before it actually happens. For New Year's Eve, Cloak & Blaster is getting decked out in a wasteland theme. Costumes are highly encouraged, so break out your Vault
Dweller jumpsuit or gas up your power armor. The soundtrack is inspired by the '40s and '50s jazz and pop that fills out the playlists of the Galaxy News and Diamond City radio stations. One of the more intriguing prospects for the party, however, is the special themed food menu. We're hoping it's not too literal, as neither
200-year-old Blamco Mac & Cheese nor crispy squirrel bits sound particularly appealing. Although we may as well get the post-apocalyptic palate tuned now rather than later. – Thaddeus McCollum