Art Trap Productions

NEW EARTH

I was sort of dreading this one and to be honest, it moved fast and wasn't that dire. Still, it's the weakest story thus far and it still reminds me of ...hold for it...TIME AND THE RANI and despite my recent reviewing of that horrid story and my moving it further down from the top of the worst DW stories ever, it's still...not a good thing to be like. Here we have a female villain who fakes that she's one of the companions (this time by being in the same body and I have to confess to laughing as some of the humor such as "I'm a chav" and "chavtastic" which I didn't understand the first time I viewed this; i now know what a chav is). We have a brain! We do? We have bodies in cubicles. We aliens that resemble another life form. ANd at times, we have the Doctor not quite himself.

Cassandra's return was not welcome by me. She was an over the top villian/ess who brought a certain camp to the proceedings and moreso here. And again she was something of a gay character in that she started out as a boy! And she's evil. ANd so is Chip, her aide, who seems somewhat gay too but is devoted to his woman (think Judy Garland and Barbra S). And he's evil...and somewhat gay.

There's also no bit of seriousness whenever Cassandra as Rose is on and picture the whoosh sound as Rose flings her head up and her hair goes flying. It made me laugh because I knew already that this was the worst story up to now (and certainly not the worst by 2009 but close). Add to that a very conceited Doctor ("I still got it" indeed) and a mushy, gushing Rose. Really Rose: I wish she'd just let us watch that and realize she loves this life rather than say it all out loud ("This life. Can I just say, traveling with you, that I love it"). Oh can I just say SHUT THE HELL UP, B! And his answer is equally sickening "I do too." Yuck, these two are just sickening and so into themselves. Do we really want THEM in the TARDIS taking us to marvelous adventures? Then they lay on the grass and talk about their first date, more gushing. I wanted to puke then and now. I supposed the laying on the grass harks back to Hartnell and Barbara laying on the sand in the CHASE taking in the sun...fully clothed! Another bad story to compare this too. At least the CHASE was so bad it was funny. Again though I must admit at times this was funny

Like the Doc, hospitals scare me, too. The disease factor and the clone thing might not make much sense and might be pure fantasy rather than sci fi but it's pretty disturbing and scary. It plays out as a zombie movie in a way and tha'ts okay but...somehow none of it rings true. Not to say I didn't like some of it, I kinda did. Then there's the whole Cassandra moving in and out of the Doctor and Rose and then a diseased clone...all if played for laughs mostly and not laugh out loud funny. it's an odd choice for RTD to follow CHRISTMAS INVASION with this story. What was he thinking? I have no idea.

The sets, the cat masks, the music, the effects and the colors are all fantastic however. It was good to see the face of Bo (Captain Jack let's not forget) and this doesn't drag at all.

The Doc going on about shops was very g...or should I say a pet thing of RTD I guess. Awful. David is mostly awful in this to be honest. Billie evokes some laughs but...

I have to admit to also laughing at the decontamination bit. THat WAS funny. Rose thinking she's all confident and able to detour through the future and then zap, she gets a cold shower or something.

The ending scene are curious. They left me feeling like David looked: blank. Really, I don't know what we were meant to feel: maybe nothing. Maybe sympathy? For Cassandra? If so, the writing is poor here and rushed. The Doc decides to take Cassandra in Chip's body back in time to meet the earlier Cassandra when she was human (and obviously after some operations as she was a boy! A BOY!). That's terrible in itself but then he and Rose stand back and watch...observing just like we do...blankly. Just like we do. Cassandra then emotes some feeling for Chip as he dies in her arms. And she starts talking to the faceless, non personalities of those around her. If they had something to say or reacted to Chip showing up and dying, this just might have rung true..or rung something...or maybe the Cloister Bell would have rung to indicate this is a stupid sequence. Cassandra talks to them and reacts to Chip and NO ONE reacts back to her. HOw droll. Then Rose enters the TArdis and the Doc stops and stares...blankly. WTF? I mean WTF was that?

Terrible. Overall this story gets probably a one out of ten. It's pretty dreadful in most ways. Less attitude from this couple. ANd maybe they just need Queen Victoria to put them in their place and take them out of their complacency.