Many of you know my story - I have been plagued for the last two years with arthritis and Fibromyalgia pain, and more specifically was crippled up with a bad knee which was operated on twice this year. What you may not know is that I have battled with severe depression since I was about 8 years old.

For many years of my life I got the Christmas Blues, an actual condition which can be linked to clinical and seasonal depression, as well as reaction to the stresses of this time of year. The past couple of years I have overcome this and been fine, but I realized just today that I can't make excuses that my being down and sluggish is just to do with the surgeries, pain and flood in our house. I am in a Christmas Blues depression.

I am being very open about this and not just PMing my close friends here not because I want to air all my baggage, but for two important reasons.
1. I couldn't have gotten through this last year without DC
2. I hope that maybe by speaking out about myself, I can help someone else who for their own reasons is feeling the same.

When I say I need a little Christmas, I mean the true spirit of the holiday - I think my signature says it best.

I don't expect anything from any of you, I just thank you for listening and hope that all of you, not matter what has happened in your life this year, can find a little peace right here at DC as I have.

Oh, Alix, I didn't put this in your coping thread, mainly because I am not and have just admitted that to myself.

Laurie, recognition is the first step. Remember that you are very loved here. I know the "blues" is tough, and I hope you get lots of hugs and snuggles from those around you. Touching is the best cure. And since you are in "sunny" BC, may I suggest you find a way to get some extra sunlight? Vitamin D works wonders, and I think they have that new sunlamp thing that helps too. Its not a cure, but it will help.

And you know what? DC wouldn't have been the same without you this year. Whether you're feeling blue or not you always have a word of praise or support for someone in need. Your turn sweetie, {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Laurie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

__________________You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams Alix

DC has helped you however you have also helped lots of us at DC witrh your love and your comments. We are having a special Carol Service tomorrow and I wish you could be there - it may not be the silent night but we will be focussing on what Christmas is really about.

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"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others." - Nelson Mandela

I have a very close friend in the same situation as you are... there is not much to do for me except listen to her and try to understand...
she is in twice the normal meds and it seems to work quite good..

I hope you'll get over this with the help of all the people here who care for you and to wich you are a important person {{hugs}}

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LiGruess cara ~~~ Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

(((((Laurie))))) I know how hard this time of year can be. I miss the holidays that I use to share with my parents.

You have recognized the problem--that is step one but I hope that you follow through and seek medical assistance. There are many medications that you can try or your current medication may need adjusting. Don't just reach out here, go and get some real help. Everyone needs help every now and then.

Thank you everyone. It is so wonderful to be loved. My best friend just came over with an "early Christmas gift" and a bunch of hugs....Yes, Alix, it is wonderful medicine.

I have a medication that I take twice a day with the option of taking a third at my discretion. I just took the extra one and will stay on it through the holidays. I see my doctor on Tuesday. I am going to rest now until we have to leave for the banquet and I know that yes, Uncle Bob, it will be very healing helping those who have far more problems than I.

I am so glad I took the risk and reached out here. I have been on other sites but there is nothing like DC for compassion, friendship and love. Thank you all.