This past week has been a real rollercoaster ride for me where the “enemy” has tried really hard to dig in and create chaos in just about every area of my life. The great news is that I can certainly put things in better perspective when I allow God to work His redemption (to free me from what harms me) and I allow myself to refocus on Him. So, I say to you, allow Him to open your eyes to truly see, to open your ears to truly hear, to open your mind to truly accept, and to open your heart to truly love. Mistakes will occur and they will be forgiven. His kingdom of love, peace, joy, and hope awaits and this is the utlimate true freedom we can choose! Starting today, right now within yourself…so choose wisely and don’t forget to share your story with those who are willing to listen. Remember, God has given each of us gifts, so let us recognize and utilize them fully, let us recognize the gifts in others as well, and accept them fully.

Meditation

May the miracles of God’s hand rise up and make temselves be known. With Him, all things are possible, and with one word, He can change anything.

Like this:

I am cleaning up my bedroom that currently looks like a poorly organized law office, full of documents, cds, usbs, printouts that are marked up with highlighters and post it notes. As I go through some of the stuff, I can’t avoid the obvious. What an unnecessary and vicious attack imposed on my family, especially my child!

I hope some of my observations from pre-kidnapping of my child by the State of Florida are eye-openers for other parents. Prevention is key. However, you need awareness first in order to prevent.

Here are some of the things I noticed about my child’s behavior that I think parents/guardians should be on the lookout for. It’s not stuff the ordinary person walks around knowing since most of us don’t think this can happen to our children:

(The period of time the below behaviors took place in, approx. Jan-July 2009. This occurred before she was removed from my home, and placed to live with the alleged sex offender, a non-relative, in the home he shared with my child’s father. My child had been spending court-approved overnights with the father hence his contact.)

1) We live in Florida. In the middle of Summer, insisting on wearing layers and more layers of clothing.

2) Stating, “I’m pushing”, while she is actually holding in her stools. Saying she is “afraid” of going potty.

3) Urinary Tract Infections.

4) Sexualized behavior you wouldn’t expect a young child to know (i.e. intense kissing, masturbation, attempting to insert objects to genitals-vagina/anus). Undressing dolls and having their genitals touch in “play”.

5) Violent tantrum outbursts (i.e. drawing “the monster” and stabbing the drawing with the pencil then transferring the anger toward the nearest person).

6) Refusing to be assisted with pull-up cleaning by day school staff, insisting only mother can help. Stating to cleaning staff and other caregivers “are you going to hurt me?” as indicator of why child refuses help.

8 Suddenly afraid of going to the father’s house (had to literally be buckled down by father when he picked child up for visitation). At other times, she cried when she stated she did not want to leave school. Usually on a Friday, when she knew it was time to see “daddy” on Saturday.

9) Sudden increase in clingyness and fear of being anywhere without mother present. (My child had two violent outbursts at the Broward County Sexual Assault Treatment Center (SATC) , one in which the organization across the street – Broward County’s Children Home Society – had to call the SATC to inquire about “the child screaming” right outside their entrance. Of course, the SATC did not note this critical example of something that deems more questioning, in spite of the outbursts occurring directly in front of the eyes of Counselor, Emily Lawler and Child Protection Team worker, Lucia Zanabria.)

12) Sudden regression in potty-training. I’ve read that children tend to get fully potty-trained at a slower pace in day school/care than children who are being taken care of at home. But the workers at my daughter’s day school and I worked really well together in trying to get this going. Who doesn’t want to save the very expensive weekly expense of wipeys and pull-ups, if possible? So we got my child to work on wearing panties, although with accidents, but making progress. Why did she all of a sudden regress to her pull-ups? There were several of us at work with this, yet we couldn’t stop the accidents’ frequency from increasing.

(As of February 2011, pleased to report child is significantly more in control of her anger, thanks to professional therapeutic assistance. However, there is a lot more time and work needed.)

Yes, let’s not use the language the web site uses. It really downplays how serious this matter is. Below is a copy/paste of the DCF’s web site regarding this “special initiative”:

If you have information on any of these missing children, please notify local law enforcement.

The above is a partial listing of children missing from their current placements. Prior to listing any children on this web site the Department must receive approval from the court for release of information. In addition, the Department and its community partners are locating many of the children reported missing. As a result, this list may include children who have been located within the past week .

Information regarding the Department’s efforts to locate these children may be requested by calling (850) 410-8543 or writing to the Missing Children Florida Department of Children and Families, 1317 Winewood Blvd, Building 1, Room 206E, Tallahassee, Florida 32399-0700.

**Good luck calling the Tallahassee office for information about what they are doing to find these children they have lost. I’ve been trying since September of 2009 (and wont’ stop trying).

This has been a crazy week for me. I got slammed at work after an entire year goes by without a word/nudge/intervention. So I choose to continue focusing on the positive and I will leave the wrongdoers to God. On a high note, I received word that three of my friends experienced God’s victory in their lives this week. So this is my unfailing testimony that prayer works. So for all of you who may be hurting or suffering in some way, continue to pray not only that you will be delivered out of your injustice but have the courage to leave the wrongdoers to God.

Mediation for the Day

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forgive the ones who don’t just because you can and choose to do so. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Take a few minutes to think before you act when you become angry. Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy, He just promised it would be worth it, each and every moment of this journey.

Like this:

It’s Friday and it’s been a long week. I was not sure what I needed to share today, but I received my guidance from “big Poppa”. For those of you who love to read, and are strong in your faith, please check out The Shack (novel). It definitely reflects a different but important message, and may allow you to perceive things differently.

So here is a burning question – are you alone? Some people may have this thought no matter who or what is in their present lives. No, you are not alone. Jesus wants to walk with you daily throughout every facet of your life, in a way that lets you know you are never alone. You are never forgotten by God. He knows you and you are His. He can bring you into His light and love. He does so by the strength of His power, the same power He used to raise Jesus from the dead. He cares for you. You can see the power of God’s creation, and can feel the power of His love. How you ask – by keeping and deepening your faith, being hopeful, holding positive thoughts, affirming, and visualizing His goodness in your life.

Meditation for the DayI believe that my faith and God’s power can accomplish anything in human relationships. There is no limit to what these two things can do in this field. Only believe and anything can happen. Saint Paul said, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” All walls that divide you from other human beings can fall by your faith and God’s power. These are the two essentials. Everyone can be moved by these.

Prayer for the DayI pray that I may strengthen my faith day by day. I pray that I may rely more and more on God’s power.