You're grounded for life!

July 23, 2006|JEFF HERRING McClatchy Newspapers

"You're grounded for life!" I heard that once when I was 13. I'll spare you details. It's easy to get frustrated with our kids. It's even more frustrating when they are teens. One minute you get a glimpse of the young adult they are becoming, and the next they are acting like the toddler they once were. As a parent, you want to avoid saying anything, even in anger, that you cannot back up or follow through on. When you do, it teaches your teen at least three things you do not want to teach:

You don't mean what you say.

You do not have to be taken seriously.

If they can endure your tantrum and lecture, they can pretty much do as they want. Another problem with grounding: To have a prisoner, there must be a jailer, and I doubt you want to play that role for the rest of your child's life. ParentTip One: Ask your teen what they think a fair consequence is. This sounds nuts, but it works. Often, they come up with something harsher than you ever will. ParentTip Two: Make sure the consequence is strong enough to get their attention, swift enough after the offense so your teen can connect cause and effect, and short term enough so the teen can have a chance to do well soon. For more tips for parents of teens, visit www.ParentingYourTeenager.com. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.