And yet, one thing unites every set you have. They’re sissies in a fight.

Which is why we thought you should know about the Japanese Self-Defense Force Sunglasses,a set of UV-blocking eyewear that can also withstand serious blunt trauma, available now.

Think of these as the shades you’d be sporting if you had actually taken that job offer to head the personal security of a Japanese gang lord that you received while on vacation in Kyoto (such offers are to be expected after besting six of his top guys during a “disagreement”).

Here’s why: the lenses are specially made to not only protect your peepers from the blinding sun (especially after long Saturday nights out on the town), but also to weather the impact of an object traveling 106 mph (although if it’s taped to the hood of a Ferrari, it’s probably best you get out of the way, anyway).

They’re also endorsed by the Japanese military, which means the next time you’re negotiating with some sergeant while trying to find out why your yacht was impounded, you’ll want to pull these out.