{{champion:10}} at Level 16
She becomes a hyper carry who deals mixed and true ranged AoE damage every half second or so. The only balanced aspect of her kit at the moment is that she's utter garbage until level 16.

Because that's all she is. Damage
Also, technically, dodging her skills is the way to avoid her damage, but then all you end up doing is staying out of her skill range and allowing her to out farm you.
She has no mobility. She is easily kited. And there are champions who out sustain her so long as you eliminate her tentacles, avoid fighting her in her ultimate, and buy grievous wounds early on.

Reason he doesn't need to buy resistance is because his W passively provides him all the resistances he needs simply for having killed minions. His passive also provides insane out of combat healing post 11 on top of which the most successful runes on Garen is Grasp with Demolish, Second Wind, and Overgrowth further increasing the heals he receives for nothing as well as his overall health.
His AD scalings make a full damage build not only viable, but incredibly effective and successful without sacrificing any of his innate tankiness and sustain.
He is, after all, a juggernaut.

Attempts have been made.
Overwatch
Fortnite
Counterstrike
Battlegrounds
Riot made an effective addiction machine when they created LoL. I don't think it was their intent nor do I think they could possibly have predicted its success, but that's what came out of their "frankenstein lab".

If you are filled one match, you receive auto fill protection.
Whenever you are in promos, you receive auto fill protection for your promos.
You cannot possibly be filled 100% of the time.
I'm rarely ever filled and I main top. When I am filled, I announce it in lobby and am often offered a different role. So, even when I am filled, I generally am allowed to play my desired role. Though it does not always happen.
So , again, the scenario you described is entirely impossible.

My only complaint about the new Mordekaiser is his ultimate. Either you play a mobile champ to dance around all his damage while you wait for it to end or you build QSS to negate it entirely.
It has counter play, sure, but it really is a pass or fail ult to be entirely honest.
Urgot received a good update in my opinion. He used to be considered a troll pick. Nowadays, he's so meta that he sometimes breaks the game. He works with so many runes with Conqueror being his latest craze. He's a ranged Juggernaut who excels in duels and splitting, but fails in team fights and focused attacks.
Aatrox update was, admittedly, a critical error in judgment on Riot's part. On release, he became nigh-unkillable. Players would rush GA just to give him 3 lives in every team fight and force enemies to focus him so as to guarantee his team Baron, Drakes, and Turrets. Players got so accustomed to being able to play inting Aatrox that it's no wonder people became upset over the removal of his revive from his ultimate. What Aatrox is now is a less effective drain tank than what he used to be.

He actually is a common pick atm. Despite his avg win rate, he's very popular, placing him at a top tier pick among players.
As for what he is, he is a self-sustaining lane bully. He's quite capable of taking out half your HP bar with one combo. After the second combo, he usually ignites you for the guaranteed kill.
As for how to deal with him.
Legend: Tenacity/Unflinching Runes can help with his stun as well as getting Mercury Treads early on. Bonus Armor stats from your runes will also help mitigate much of his early damage.
If you are in an unfavorable match up then Doran's Shield might help you with sustaining his pressure in lane.
Otherwise, read up on his skills online to get a better understanding as to how they function, especially when empowered by his passive. And memorize his cooldowns. This will inform you of his weaknesses and when and where to exploit any and all openings he presents to you in game.

Top and ADC are probably extreme opposites of one another.
Top has diversity, ADC does not.
Top is mostly, if not always, alone against their opponent, ADC is not.
Top usually only has to contend with 1 or 2 threats alone, ADC usually has to contend with 2 or more threats with help.
Top and Bot are on exact opposite ends of the map.

Hypothetical: A duo enters a lobby, one is mid. They each hover the mid's mains, Yasuo and Zed. They do this in order to prevent allies from banning the mid player's pick. The enemy locks in Yasuo and bans Zed or vice versa.
Hypothetical: A player is about to ban a champion they do not like, but the client lags as it is prone to do. An ally decides that the ban is a bad ban; so, they immediately hover the champion after making their ban just to prevent the player from proceeding with banning the champion they want to ban.
Summation: Players will exploit and abuse systems like this either for their own benefit or to deliberately ruin the experiences of others.

:
kayle level 1-6:
an actual potato.
Kayle level 6-11:
an potato, who now wields a sword.
kayle level 11-16:
as strong as level 9 kayle pre-rework.
Kayle level 16-18:
finally reached hypercarry status, however this is useless as by this point even the enemy ADC will be 2 shotting you, forcing you to use ult (and waste valuable AA time) in order to surive. after which you get chain-CC'ed into the ninth circle.
this is how i personally feel about reworked kayle, namely the entire rework where just concealed nerfs. such a shame. even playing leona top is bound to bring more success by this point.
That's all.

Now I'm just a simple bronze player who don't gots a whole lotta experience with Kayle, but I vividly recall bein able to solo Baron, steal Elder immediately after, AND score a triple kill all in quick succession as a post 16 Kayle.
So please, tell me how it is you can't make it work for ya.

It's so weird that most jungle want top lane to leash for them at all.
It doesn't seem to matter if I am blue team or red team. More than half of the jungle I get want me to leash them.
Why? Why do the resource-less jungle want me to leash their blue? Why do the mana-dependent jungle wish for me to leash their red? Why is it that the Kayn players and Amumu players simply don't start by soloing raptors for an easy level 2 and a prolonged buff duration after?
It boggles the mind of a top lane, doesn't it?

Disagree. Kalista is the most mechanically difficult ADC to play on top of which she relies on a support to stay with her 24/7 to make the most of her ultimate and passive. She's not a popular ADC either, but she excels in the hands of those who main her. She's great when played by players who main her alongside a partner who knows how to play with her.
Granted, she's niche, but she's great at that niche.