What is my label when I exit boom status? (A MetroDad Contest)

"a revolution in parenting magazines: a publication that talks to urban parents not just as caregivers, but as fun, smart, intellectually curious people. It will apply Nerve’s tradition of irreverent honesty to the experience of parenting without the infantilizing, hyper-judgmental tone or acquisitive baby-as-accessory bent of so much of today's parenting fare."

I don't know how much help I'll be in fomenting the revolution. Unless the uprising is waged with loofahs, bottles of scotch, and witty banter, I'm generally not much of a "revolutionary" kind of guy.

However, I am genuinely glad that Babble approached me with this opportunity. I subscribe to every parenting magazine available and I've yet to find one that really speaks to ME. Most of them seem to be written solely for women and tend to promote this weird cookie-cutter cult of stay-at-home domesticity. Others place far too much emphasis on shopping and product placement. And very few really ever touch on anything personal or substantive.

But their biggest crime? None of them are funny!

Forget all the crap regarding hipster parents, urban mamas, AlternaDads, or Grups. At the end of the day, Babble is just a smart, edgy parenting magazine with a wicked sense of humor about being a parent. Because as any caring parent who has been barfed on at 4:00 am knows, parenting is very often an existential exercise in hilarity.

Anyway, I'm both extremely honored and humbled to join their irreverent collection of great writers (which include everyone from A.M. Homes to Jennifer Baumgardner to Walter Kirn.) REAL writers whom I've had the pleasure of reading over the years.

Me? I've got no title for my new blog. And I've got a terrible case of brain flatulence these days. I've been thinking of a title for weeks and absolutely NOTHING is coming to my mind. So that's where YOU guys come in.

Since most of you know me pretty well, I figured you could help me come up with a witty title for my new Babble blog. So I've decided to have a little contest. Help me come up with a name for my new blog: a name, label, or catchphrase that I'll take over with me to Babble.

To increase the incentive and get your creative juices flowing, I've got some great prizes! Here's what the grand-prize winner will get:

(1) The latest high-end Digital Photo Frame from Phillips. So new that it's not even available in stores yet. These things rock the house. Not only is the picture quality stunning, it's clear that a lot of thought went into the beautifully streamlined design. They're absolutely gorgeous and would look great anywhere.

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(2) An advance DVD of "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," the brilliant film starring Sacha Baron Cohen. With classic lines such as "My moustache still tastes of your testes!" and "What's up with you, Vanilla Face?," this film has already achieved cult status.

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(3) Your choice of one of my favorite NYC foods that I will personally vacuum-seal with love and send to you. Winner will select from one of the following: hot dogs from Gray's Papaya, bagels from H & H, pastrami from Katz's Deli, or bacon from Peter Luger's Steakhouse.

The contest will close on Friday, February 23 at midnight. Then, BossLady and I will decide which one we like best and we'll announce the winner.

Ready, set, go!

p.s. Special prize to the first person who correctly guesses the origin of this post's title. No googling!

I'm too tired to think of an actual title, but if you don't want to put a reference to your daughter in it directly (as someone before me suggested), the tagline could be "Warning: may contain Peanuts"