Sunday, August 30, 2015

Derp sells. Especially if it's New, Improved Derp.

Behold, the "Handgun Sling"*:

A learning-impaired tree sloth should be able to spot a number of glaring errors here. For instance, the handgun is carried right on the lumbar spine, which is practically an invitation to future hobbies like wheelchair basketball and getting to compete in 5k fun runs while sitting down.

Second, the dude orients the grip incorrectly for a handgun carried behind the back. Observe how the best-known small-of-the-back holster, the Galco SOB †, rides. This is so that if you just have to carry your gun in the wrong place, then at least when you draw the firearm in a big hurry, you don't flag your own frickin' kidneys with the muzzle. Blowing your own giblets out your belly button when trying to throw down on an ATM stickup artist is a pretty serious party foul.

But the pièce de résistance, the derp cherry on the suck icing of the giant failcake, is the blindfolded hand jive one must go through every morning just to holster up:

If dude could somehow get his strong-side traffic finger a little further into the trigger guard, he'd be a shoo-in for today's "How Many of the Four Rules Can You Break at Once?" contest.

Don't fall for this stuff. It's stupid.

* I have downloaded the video, so in case the guy goes dark, we can put it back up elsewhere.
† If I had a dollar for every minute of my life I have spent on a sales floor, explaining the "why" behind the orientation of the Galco SOB to an uncomprehending audience, I'd buy myself... well I don't know, but it'd be something pretty nice..