You guys, if you’re in North America or have ever even heard of North America, you probably know that we’re in the grips of a polar vortex at the moment.

Which sounds pretty darn awesome. And kind of like a Syfy movie. But is just another fancy-pants word for “super duper cold” and “did I mention it’s cold?”

So, yeah, you guys, it’s kind of freaking cold outside.

Not that it’s all that warm inside either.

You see, I live in a historic old apartment building. And by “historic” I mean “drafty and probably insulated with old corn cobs.” And I’m pretty sure the two old-timey-looking heaters in my apartment are just there for show because they emit even less hot air than I do.

Old-timey heater. Merely decorative.

Luckily, one of my Christmas presents this year was an electric blanket with not one but two controls. Because I’m fancy like that.

FAAAHHNCY.

So I’ve spent the past few days, hanging out in bed, drinking gallons of Trader Joe’s candy cane green tea (which is OMG-AMAZING and totally makes up for the fact that their peppermint hot chocolate tastes like toothpaste) and catching up on TV dramas on the Netflix and books on the Kindle.

Given the fact that I haven’t spent more than about twenty minutes out of my bed in the past three days, you’d think I wouldn’t have learned a whole hell of a lot. But it’s amazing what a girl can learn when her comforter is her classroom.

You guys, I’m a sap, and I cry all the time while watching sad movies or reading sad books. But it’s the silent type of crying. You know, the kind of crying that you could be all like, “There’s just something in my eye, ” if someone happened to walk in on you.

Yesterday, I read this book from Kindle-cover to Kindle-cover and it totally and completely WRECKED me. I practically hyperventilated I cried so hard.

5. You will eventually need to leave your bed.

I know, bummer, right?

I was forced this morning to trudge down the street to the gas station to pick up some milk. Because I am totally a snowstorm cliche.

And it really wasn’t that bad out there. I mean, it was COLD, and I couldn’t feel my toes despite three layers of socks.

But the snow-covered streets were calm and peaceful.

The street lights looked festive festooned in icicles.

And I felt a sense of camaraderie with the few other souls who had made it out to brave the cold.

That, and I found out the gas station sells chocolate-covered pretzels.

Just the “essentials.”

Win-win!

How have you been spending your polar vortex days? Unless you’re not experiencing a polar vortex. In which case I really don’t care how you’re spending your days because you are probably one of those lucky people who can actually feel their toes.

Every time you share a blog post a unicorn gets its wings.

I just left my condo for the first time since Saturday! Although I spent most of the time on the couch, not in bed. I watched a lot of football and basketball and snuggled with my kittens and did a bunch of work on my blog and shared lots of articles on FB and Twitter about how cold it was in Chicago. But I can’t say I learned a whole lot.Katie recently posted..Crying a River Back to Namche

Sounds like you were WAY more productive than me. I had every intention of being productive — or at least doing a few of the bloggy things I’ve been meaning to do. But nope. My brain was not having it. It was like, “Cannot think, can only watch melodramatic television shows.” So that’s what it did!

I have not been experiencing the polar vortex here in San Diego, so my toes are still in working condition. I have however been obsessively checking the weather forecast online since I am visiting Madison, Wisconsin in two weeks and am hoping that polar vortex will be gone by then!Katherine Belarmino recently posted..Traveling the World in 2014

Bajajaja… I love how you can make me laugh no matter what. Sometimes I think we are destined to be together. Okay I am kidding, but ah I love spending entire days in my bed. My family doesn’t understand how I can do this… or why, but it’s unexplainable.

Anyway loved the 5 things you learned and umm I so understand #3. I have been binge-ing on TV shows since I got back home and I so get all caught up in it and feel like I’m part of it. Oh & cry sometimes.Jaime recently posted..What 2013 was for me… & what 2014 will be.

I feel like I haven’t left the house all year– probably because I haven’t. Except a couple of times which were just minor and they all were bad and snowy and cold. And I did have reasons to leave these past two days but somehow got out of it. I did start working on a project though.. kind of.Priya recently posted..My First Dream In 2014 (That Only Trained Professionals Can Analyze)

Aside from work, I haven’t really been leaving the house much myself. Partly because it’s too cold and partly because my car is on the fritz and I don’t feel like walking through the cold. Although I feel bad about being so lazy, my shut-in lifestyle is really helping me curb my spending and stick to my resolution to not get too broke this year. So yeah me!

I was going to leave a comment, but then read at the end that you don’t care about people who can feel their toes. Well, Sally, I CAN feel my toes, and I’m totally gobsmacked at your blatant temperature-ist attitude. I held you to a higher standard than that. I hope you slop some sweet potato mash on your bed now.

It truly is faaaahncy. Although it has this safety feature where it turns off after 14 hours because apparently it doesn’t think you could possibly lie in bed for over 14 hours. So wrong it is. So very wrong.

I am so JEALOUS.
I have dogs…large dogs. I can only dream of spending that much time in bed. I lived in Bangor, Maine for a winter. -25 before the wind chill for at least a week, which felt like a month. My girl hound was 2 and we would venture out to do the business as quickly as we could. By quickly I meant she would pee and her paws would start to burn from the freezing ground. She would
“freeze” in place and I would carry/drag/heave her back inside. The we would repeat for business part two. Now I have two and I am thankful that the polar vortex skipped Oregon.
Happy first day back in the world.
Wendy

REVENGE!!!!!! I love Revenge, it’s the best show! Whenever the credits come on I always yell “REVENGE” in a really intense soap opera voice. I love it when she gets a red pen out and crosses people’s faces off. I really want to be Emily when I grow up. Or Victoria. OR BOTHKerry recently posted..Book review: “Neither Here Nor There”, Bill Bryson (1991)

Yeah, not caught in any kind of vortex, however I live in the Arctic, so I can never feel my toes. Ever! Hahahahaha.
I loved this post as the rest of your posts, and I thought I was the only one who loved Revenge, the TV-show, not the actual thing, that is. 🙂
Happy Snow Vortex days!

Omigosh, I’m ADDICTED. There’s only 2 seasons on Netflix and I’m already halfway through season 2 and I really don’t know what I’m going to do when it’s done. (Probably just get addicted to another TV show…)

Yeah, me too! Halfway through season 2. Waiting for next episodes being uploaded (to my viaplay which is basically the same as Netflix around here)…
She’s so pretty, the Graysons are so evil/misguided, and what is UP with ‘Amanda’ and the bar-guy? Hahahahahaha!
Watch. Too. Much. ‘Revenge’. 😀

I love snow days, probably because I live in a place where it rarely snows. Every time it gets cold enough, the sun comes out! So it’s easy for me to say that I would trade winter’s leaden grey, now rainy (aka the Pineapple Express), skies for a lovely snowfall any day. I’m glad you didn’t have to spend your three days storm-delayed in an airport, waiting for a flight from Buffalo back to Michigan!

Luckily, I did not fly back from Buffalo. I spent my winter vacation being chauffeured to and fro from Michigan by family members. It was fab! And I got to watch all the cartoon DVDs I wanted on the way back in my brother’s minivan with his 2 kids.

We missed the polar vortex here but it was still too cold for me so I went to Zion National Park and did some hiking. It was in the 50’s there but I still slipped on some ice and fell on my butt.Ross recently posted..Virgin River

We’ve been having a polar vortex here in Wuhan since the start of the winter. No snow here but it’s bitter cold and with no heating the only place I want to be is my bed…with my hands safely tucked underneath my hot water bottle. Three layers of clothing is the minimum if you don’t want to freeze and if you want to feel warm you better at your winter coat or on the rare occasion that my fish is around I just drag him into bed with me (get your mind out of the gutter!). This bone-chilling cold has turned me into a bad blogger but whenever I want to write something I have to stop after five minutes because I can’t feel my fingers anymore. Right now I can’t feel both of my hands anymore and my fingers are stiff from the cold…what I don’t do for you Sally!!! I’m off to heat up my water bottle and sleep.

I live down South but it feels as if we are in a Polar Vortex also! I seriously think we were separated at birth…. I have been in bed snuggled up with warm kitties, Netflix and a heat pad! Nobody gets it! They all think I must be depressed! NOT! Just content…. BIG difference! I watched so much of the Sopranos after Gandolfini died that Anthony Soprano was in my dreams! Had to take a break for a few days and watch another series. Sons of Anarchy is a very good one to watch but I kept having to change my pillowcase from drooling at that hottie Jax! We do differ in that no way in hell would I go out in the cold for milk or anything else. I will resort to peanut butter on a spoon for dinner! Stay warm up there!! Turn that blanket up a notch or two.

Nobody does get it! Everyone at work was like, “I was so bored at home those 3 days.” And I was like, “Bored? But NETFLIX. And BED. And NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE EVER.” How can you possibly get bored with those conditions?

Extremely cold occurring in northern of U S A!! What happen if I were in this condition!? I think I could not survive, couldn’t I? But as think it is very nice for a equatorial guy to experience it once. Miss Sally, what do you think?

Living in Ottawa – arguably the coldest freaking capital in the world (it actually is – last week it was colder here than the North freaking POLL… yeah … fun times!) The biggest issue I have is how to get the wee munchkin some exercise. He’s 3.5 pounds of fluffy Chihuahua … but feels cabin fever just as much as any big ass dog. SO? What to do? Well turns out living on the 9th floor means you kind of have a built in solution. YEP! We took the elevator down and then walked up 9 flights of steps! Not once, or twice but THREE times in a row. Good for Montecristo and actually … pretty darn good for me too – you know after the wheezing and “OMG’s I am going to die of a heart attack” feeling passed.

We also found that playing hide and seek in the underground parking was fun. After we made sure the recall was 100% in case a car came or left. A solid “Heel” did the trick for that. So one of us would hold the dog – the other would hide and then … release the CRACKEN!! Mwahahahaa… no seriously it was fun. And … it got us out of the apartment too. In our PJ’s cause you know … it’s just the neighbours that could see us … but still … out.

That was the weekend … we worked all week – I shall spare you the horror of my two daily 45 minute walks. Brrrrrrrr…. -42 Celsius (same in Fahrenheit by the way – this is where the two meet) with the wind-chill. Ottawan’s scoff at what others think of as cold … with reason I believe.

Buffalonians are the same way about snow. While it doesn’t get that cold in Buffalo, we do get a LOT of snow. So while everyone was freaking out about the snow here last week I was like, “Yeah, I’m from Buffalo.”

Any time there’s snow in Portland, people freak the eff out like it’s a polar vortex (which also sounds like something Columbia Sportswear sells…). People not from the PNW always say things like, “I find it interesting that no one can get to work when it snows, but they can get to bars and coffee shops.” To which I say, “WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN THIS FOR US???” Ahem. But seriously – we get like 2 snow days every 3 years, let us have our cake and eat it too.Carmel recently posted..BLACK HOUSE, WHITE TEMPLE

Our polar vortex came complete with province-wide rolling blackouts so I spent my time huddled under my duvet in fleece pjs or re-heating soup over tea lights and reading by headlamp. It was like living in the past…only without the woodstove. Good times.Melissa @ Suitcase and Heels recently posted..Horseback Riding the Rockies

As I’m in the UK, we’re not suffering with the polar vortex – Just a shed load of rain (as usual). Staying in bed during my days off has worked surprisingly well for that too. 😀Ceri recently posted..It’s Official! I’m Moving Away Again …