Books for Couples

May 21, 2020

Quarantine fatigue is real. After two months in lockdown, Groundhog Day has become a reality and to help us all through the ‘new normal’ our therapists have put together a list of books and Podcasts that we have found useful and often recommend to the couples we see.

At Coupleworks, we have developed different interests throughout our professional lives and taken further training into specialised areas. Between us, we cover many aspects of our client’s needs; our belief is that we need to continue learning and developing in order to best serve them. Reading is an integral part of this development.

Some books, like the brilliant Ester Perel’s, “Mating in Captivity” and “The State of Affairs” most of us would recommend. Here are other less familiar books that we, at Coupleworks, have found to be user friendly and helpful to our clients.

Dawn Kaffel is an EFT therapist, her recommendations are both by Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight and The Couple’s Workbook (especially the chapter-Why on earth am I with this person?)

Kathy Rees is psycho-sexually trained and is interested in the repercussions that come with transitional life events, such as having a baby, illness, new job or retirement. Her book choices are short and easy to read: “Relationships” by the School of Life and “Eight Dates” by John and Julie Gottman, an accessible book (with suggested activities) for those clients wanting help with ‘communication’ and talking about ‘difficult subjects’ and differences.

Clare Ireland is a psychodynamic therapist and has a special interest in working with cross-culture issues. She has been working online long before it became the norm. Her recommendations are “Jacob’s Gift” by Jonathan Freedland, a helpful psychodynamics approach to better understanding family of origin, (specifically looking at geneograms, a visual family tree). Also, “In My Mind’s Eye, A Thought Diary”, by Jan Morris a book that looks at older couples.

Christina Fraser has vast experience in addiction and managing family and couple separation issues. Her suggestion is “Addictive Thinking” by Abraham Twerski, which is relevant in Covid19 times as people can no longer go to AA etc. in person and may find working online taxing.

Sarah Fletcher works as a couples and individual therapist in London and Oxford and is also a trained Supervisor. Sarah’s chooses two helpful podcasts:Love, Loss, Loneliness and a Pinch of Humour under Lockdown with Ester Perel and “How Did We Get Here” with Claudia Winkleman and Tanya Byron. They both offer an insight to couple therapy.

I am trained as an Imago Couple therapist and have just completed the Harvard SMART course on neuroscience and mindfulness and have far too many suggestions:

1.“Getting The Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix,

2.“A 5-Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family and Friendships” by John Gottman,

3.“A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle.

4.“The Relationship Reboot” from the fantastic School of Life. An interesting card exercise to use. It opens up an opportunity for couples to have conversations and rekindle love.