Mrs. Botwin's Neighborhood

Isabelle is auditioning for the Huskeroo ads afterall. Once Celia sees that Isabelle has an opportunity to go national she may change her mind about Isabelle's involvement. Celia is still campaigning and is starting to wonder what Nancy does during all of her "free time" as a widowed housewife. Conrad lays out the details of the operations of their Armenian neighbors and Nancy comes up with a plan. Silas may have more to deal with than a baby on the way. Shane finally starts to fit in at school. Heylia prepares for her first date with Joseph.moreless

Pam: (On the phone campaigning for Celia) Hi. Could I speak to Mr. Fuckhueson?

Andy: Shane's going through changes. He's experimenting.
Principal Dodge: Experimenting?
Andy: He's masturbating.
Principal Dodge: Oh.
Andy: It's an awkward time for a young man. You remember that time, don't ya?
Principal Dodge: Possibly.
Andy: You know, you uh turn out the lights, you crawl into bed, you reach down there and you feel--
Principal Dodge: That you're alone.
Andy: Suddenly it's--
Principal Dodge: Halloween! Your father's standing there dressed in a bee costume, watching you.

Conrad: Do none you people even fuckin get it? We just opened up a Burger King in the middle of fuckin McDonalds. Except Ronald is this track suit wearin' motherfucker named Bazar with a last name like an eye chart ready to cut yo dick off and mail it in four different directions. We're buck naked in front of George Bush with our dick in his daughter's mouth.

Silas: You wanted to be the cool mom.
Nancy: No. Uh-uh. A million things I wanna be, cool mom, not on that list.
(Megan shows Nancy the pregnancy test she just took)