The Department of Homeland Security has lowered the terror alert level for
Mount St. Helens from red down to yellow, saying the administration had
effectively lowered the earthquake activity to the lowest level since before
the volcano started venting last week

Mount St. Helens was downgraded from
"volcano alert" to a "volcano advisory," indicating that maybe it was still
a volcano and maybe it was not. If it was indeed a volcano it could
potentially endanger lives and destroy property, but if it's just a plain
old mountain it's no real threat, unless, of course, if it's harboring coal.

White House Spokesman Scott McClellan said
at a briefing that Mount St. Helens had indeed been a "volcano of molten
terror", but that steady and forceful action by the Bush administration had
contained and neutralized the threat. The method used to stop the volcanic
action is classified, but may be revealed at a later time if it seems that
it could prove helpful in any manner.

McClellan added "One shudders to think what
could happen if citizens do not choose wisely on November 2nd. These things
can and will try to hit us again. A Kerry administration could leave us
languishing in lava, up to our asses with ashes."

Presidential hopeful John Kerry wasted no
time in saying that a Kerry administration could be counted on to "put
America first, and hunt volcanoes down where they live and kill them."