Saturday, April 14, 2012

Angie's Story "Realizing I was and am a Lesbian!"

Hello, friends! I'm Angie, I'm 22 and I live in West Jordan, Utah with a gorgeous woman named Jen, who is my best friend, my wife and my soul mate. Together, we have Wedge and Mau - our kitty babies and Jango - our birdy baby. I'm a Leo (July 28th!) and a Snake, I'm Wiccan and a Witch, I'm an artsy craftsy girl, a gamer and a geek in every sense of the word. I adore fashion, make-up and nail polish. I love anything outdoorsy. And I'm a lesbian!

I grew up in Illinois with my parents and a bunch of furry, feathery and scaly brothers and sisters. When I was 13, I was on a Harry Potter forum and began role-playing with a guy named J. On September 12th, during my sister Lori's birthday party, my family received a phone call informing them that my grandmother had passed away. I was a bit distraught and while everyone talked and reminisced, I sought comfort online. Except, my "friends" could care less. I wandered into Diagon Alley, on that beloved Harry Potter forum and J and I started talking. I explained why I was sad and he took that sadness away with comforting words that were in tune with my own afterlife beliefs. He made me smile and laugh and I knew: he was my best friend.

We added one another on instant messenger and instantly, we began talking daily. We shared facts, laughter and sadness and when one of us was angry, we comforted one another. I was there for him and he was there for me, no matter what the situation was. We grew closer every single day. We began falling in love and innocently flirted with one another - we were (and still are) shy.

And one night, we confessed that we were in love with one another. On February 13th, 2004, we began dating! We chatted all day, every day, as we were both home-schooled. We continued sharing, learning, growing as friends and as a couple and we fell deeper and deeper into love.

Despite our distance (J in Utah, I in Illinois) we had so much fun together, playing a game here and there, sharing stories and so much more. "So much more" included taking quizzes with one another. One day, J and I were taking a quiz and a question was how attracted you were towards those who were your own gender. The scale was 1-10 and I answered around 5-6... I had no idea what that really meant, as my family wasn't the type to talk about LGBTQ lifestyles. I just answered honestly. J was a bit confused, as I had never shown an interest in women. We talked a little more on the subject and from that point on, something clicked inside of me and I started researching LGBTQ "facts" such as what being bisexual or a lesbian was like. And I realized... I liked women. I always had. I just wasn't knowledgeable on bisexuality or lesbianism, so for me, liking women wasn't that big of a deal.

I told J about what I learned and he was very supportive. Not long after, he came online, nervous and worried. I realized something was going on and I asked him what was going on and for him to be 100% honest with me. I told him I loved him and I would, forever, no matter what. On that wonderful night... J confessed that he was transgender. He hadn't told me, though he certainly planned on telling me sometime. He was just so worried he'd lose me. However, the very opposite happened. I fell madly, deeply, truly more in love with him!

I was so proud of HER for knowing who she was, being honest with herself and telling me. I was so proud of her courage. I was so in love with her. That night, we spent hours talking and I learned that she knew, in her very heart, that she was a girl since she was around 10-11. She didn't know she was transgender... She just knew that she identified as a woman.

That night, along with our excited chatter, I spent hours looking up cute clothing for her as she had none. Every holiday and often "just because", we sent one another boxes full of little and big gifts, cards and letters. So I knew I could buy her something cute, pretty, absolutely lovely and fitting for her. Showing my support even more and giving her something so important: clothing that matched her gender. We're both what one would call "femme", with a passion for fashion, make-up and so much more of that "girly stuff". However, we don't mind getting dirty while camping, hiking, biking, LARPing or airsofting and more of that "dirty" stuff, haha.

I also started researching transgenderism, because as her girlfriend and future wife, I knew that I could be even more supportive and share even more with her if I knew more about transgenderism. I learned about hormone replacement therapy, sexual reassignment surgery and so much more. I was incredibly happy whilst filling my brain with all of this new information. A little while after, Jen realized her true name was "Jennifer", the name her mother would have given her if she was "born a girl." Which she was. She was born a girl, on the inside and that is all that counts.

Despite those who knocked us for being young and in love, despite those who said we'd never last because of our age and our distance... We knew we would. Christmas of 2005, Jen proposed. In my Christmas box, along with my many gifts, was a star shaped box. Which opened and inside, was another star shaped box. Once I reached the smallest store, inside was a little black velvet box. As I opened that box, and saw a white gold, tanzanite and diamond ring, Jen asked if I'd marry her over the phone. I said YES, YES, OF COURSE, YES!!!

In 2007, on August 21st (shortly after I turned 18), I climbed aboard an airplane with a little carry-on bag and one suitcase and I flew 2,000+ miles from Illinois to Utah. Jen was waiting for me, with gorgeous flowers, as I stepped off the escalator in the airport. Despite our years together, we were both so shy. (So cute!) She handed me my flowers and we had a cute little hug, which I still giggle over. We climbed into her parents' car and along the way, stopped for Carl's Jr and than, we went home. That night, we held hands. We sat together. We talked. We hugged. I was HOME.

On September 13th, 2007 we said "I do" in the Excalibur Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada. We've been together eight years and married for almost five. Jen IS my one and only love (neither of us dated before one another), she is my bestest friend EVER, she is my wife and she is my soul mate. We're together 24/7, we've even worked together. Jen is on disability and I am working as an artist and a blogger. We spend our days and nights together, loving, laughing, sharing, consoling, listening and loving some more. And I couldn't ask for more.

Shortly after saying "I do."

I know my story is a long one. But it's the most important part of my life. In 2010, I told my big sisters that I am a lesbian and that they didn't have a brother-in-law, but a sister-in-law. They were SO supportive. I've also told many friends, both online and off and have been greeted with even more support. I will be telling my dad soon (we rarely talk, so I haven't had a heart-to-heart with him yet) and Jen's parents know.

Jen is planning on getting her birth certificate, social security card and state ID soon - to reflect her real gender and her real name. After that, her Medicaid will cover her hormone replacement therapy and WE CAN NOT WAIT!

So, now you know a little bit about me, Angie, the co-blogger of Doodled Rainbow and my gorgeous wife, Jen. ♥

I am SO open towards more friends and I offer SO SO SO much support for all of those who are LGBTQ and family members of those amazing people. If you wanna be friends, you can find me on my blog, my Twitter, my Facebook, my Pinterest, my Instagram and my Polyvore. You can also e-mail me! So, let's mingle!