I have had CFS since 2006. It has taken me awhile to find acceptance of this debilitating disease. I've finally come to realize that life with CFS means less doing and more becoming. I'm rebuilding who I am and what my dreams are. I am living the CFS life.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Sometimes, it's so easy to see everything you are missing when you have CFS. So, in a rare moment of quiet contemplation, I came up with a few blessings I have now specifically because of CFS.

1. A clean slate. It is exactly the fact that I can't keep up with my old activities that I get to start over. Before CFS, was I doing things because I loved doing them? Because I "had" to? Because it was expected of me? Because it was habit? Because it was an escape? Now, my functional time is precious, and I have much more stringent requirements before an activity even makes the list! I am choosing to remake me.

2. Permission to say "no." There is no pressure to agree to do something that I'm asked to do. I have to be honest with myself. If it is not physically plausible, or if it crowds out something of greater value, I get to say "no!"

3. Less doing, more becoming. I like the word "becoming." It has no beginning, no end -- it's a process. With so many activities stripped away, I'm left so often alone with myself. Am I happy with what I see? What do I embrace? What do I want to change?

4. Discovering hidden strengths. Faith, strength, patience, courage. Some I knew I had; others have been a surprise. This is an amazing opportunity not only to recognize but to use those strengths.

5. Relying on others. To someone who is proud and independent, this does not immediately seem a blessing! But to be on the receiving end of love and service is something that stays in your heart and is treasured forever.

6. Relying on the Lord. My strengths pale in face of this enormous challenge. I am all too aware of my weaknesses and failures. I can see the hand of the Lord comforting me, strengthening me, and making it up to the people I love when I can't be everything for them.

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comments:

Thanks for reading my blog and asking if you could link to it. I like your CFS Community website and would be glad to have it linked to my blog. I also spent some time reading through your blog and really enjoyed it. It sounds as if we've had some similar experiences in dealing with CFS as Moms. I will definitely keep following your blog. Nice to meet you!

Hands Around the World

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About Me

I am a 44 year old stay at home mom. I have been married almost 20 years to the world's best husband. We have six wonderful children. My husband and I are starting our own small business together. I have had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for two years now. It's such a strange disease (illness? condition? ailment?). I wanted to create a place where I could come and write about what it's like to deal with the challenges of living the CFS life. I honestly believe that sometime, somewhere, some doctor is going to magically tell me, "Oh, I know what this is!" and I will be cured. Until that time, I'm hoping to learn something about myself and maybe help others.