Tuesday, 12 May 2009

FULL FRONTAL FASHION

So M&S have kicked up a storm by adding a £2 surcharge to bras larger than DD cup. This provoked outrage among generously proportioned women and M&S caved in to the pressure. Of course, there were also countless articles in the papers on the subject with 'M&S boobs' jokes in abundance. Fear not dear reader. You will find no pathetic jokes like that here. I am above such levels of titillation.

One of these writers was ranting on about how women's fashions are designed to show off their mammary glands and how dreadful it would be if men's fashions were designed to show off their genitalia!

I beg to differ. It wasn't that long ago when men's fashion did exactly that in the form of the codpiece. Of course these became ever longer and thicker as their wearers sought to outdo their friends in attracting the ladies. No doubt they fell from grace as a mode of fashion when said ladies, having succumbed to these tailoring temptations, removed the codpiece to reveal a tiny caterpillar within.

So I suggest we bring back the codpiece but learn from the mistakes of our ancestors and keep them to a modest size. Perhaps this could be enforced by law with codpiece wardens comparing them to a maximum size model. Think about it. There would be many advantages to men wearing codpieces. Not least, as in the illustration, that dogs would find it easier to see where to put their noses!

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Batty Brit who won life's lottery when I retired. Now I can do what I want when I want with chocolate, cream and a cherry on the top.
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