McHalf-the-Cheese, Please?

I grew up on fast food. I can’t eat it like I once did (or even want to), but there are certain tastes that I remember enjoying, like a Bic Mac or the “crumbs” at Long John Silver’s. In fact, I’m still patiently waiting for Taco Bell’s “Baja Blast” to make it onto store shelves so I don’t feel compelled to buy a Meximelt when I’m craving a drink. I also remember eating at places that no one believes ever existed. Anyone remember Borden Burger? Burger Chef (and Jeff)? Frankenburger?

Speaking of McRestaurants, I still reluctantly have an appetite for the occasional $1 Double Cheeseburger, which makes a nice, hot, quick snack lunch when a turkey sandwich leaves you cold. Up until now, it was part of the over-publicized “Dollar Value Menu,” but now there’s a NEW $1 sandwich: the $1McDouble, which is exactly like the Double Cheeseburger but with one less slice of cheese.

Now, you CAN still get a sandwich with both patties and two slice of cheese, but now it’ll cost you $1.19 and isn’t actually on the “Dollar Menu” anymore. That’s still a deal if you consider a regular Cheeseburger is 96 cents (Wow… a whole extra burger patty for 6 cents!) but it really doesn’t taste the same. Of course, you could always do what I do for those 2 for $2 breakfast sausage & egg biscuit sandwich deals at McD’s… bring your own slices of cheese to avoid being charged full price for a special order!

Well, why does McDonald’s put cheese on English muffins but not on their biscuit sandwiches, anyway? Isn’t it bad enough I can have a free coffee I don’t want with my breakfast or get charged an arm and leg for an orange juice? Plus, I live in Florida! Shouldn’t there be a tree out in front of the restaurant I can tap?

Uh oh… I think the souvenir cold I brought back from Thanksgiving vacation is affecting my brain. I could go for some Count Chocula, though… it turns milk chocolaty!

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Published by Kevin A. Ranson

Content Creator, Horror Writer, Film Critic. Heeding a macabre calling listening to "Mother Ghost Nursery Rhymes" in kindergarten, Kevin started writing in grade school and filled countless notebooks with story ideas while touring the Mediterranean in the US Navy. He is the author of The Spooky Chronicles and the vampire thriller series The Matriarch, creator/critic for MovieCrypt.com and "ghost writer" for horror host Grim D. Reaper. WEB • FACEBOOK • TWITTER
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