Idle Thumbs is a video game podcast full of in-depth discussion and absurdity. Between overly-enthusiastic dissections of their latest media experiences and baffling phonological explorations of Jeff Goldblum's name, the cast has managed to find a regular audience of dedicated readers. Scoop up the latest episode and hear us extol the virtues of whatever we've just watched, played, or read—then attempt to answer reader mail before getting sidetracked about robots.

All of our lives have been upended because of some pretty awesome news (read item one here, and item two here), and it has had the unfortunate effect of knocking our recording schedule totally out of whack. So for this month's Idle Thumbs we have something a little different!
At PAX East 2018, Chris moderated a panel called "Building Bridges & Breaking Barriers" and we're privileged to share it with you! Here's the official description: This panel brings a diverse group of individuals together who are actively working – often times behind-the-scenes - in the game space to help bridge cultural gaps and create positive communities. Panelists will share personal stories on how they overcame cross-cultural challenges, not just in their own “backyard” but also across the world!
We're not sure when a 100% regular schedule will resume but we'll keep you posted! In the mean time enjoy this episode and thanks for listening!
Discussed: Pepe Silvia w/drums

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from the Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs.
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
As usual, we'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs soon!
Discussed: Our purchasing habits of boxed versus digital games, having a physical library of things you love or worked on, dedicating the Earth's finite resources to preserving your garbage, the allure of designing a board game, modern board games taking from video games, how do you explain Important If True, it's impossible, the "wits" path of Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, a machine to erase the memories that make you cringe, an infinite cringe spiral, YTMND, snoopkirby2, headshots, making an extinct creature real, making Jar Jar Binks real, making an ideal new social network, committing to an arduous task even after you realize it is insane, is sci-fi or fantasy better, petty crimes, stupid crimes, crime, the worst food to put ketchup on, the overlap between Important If True and Idle Thumbs listeners over time, Studio Ghibli, things we love about San Francisco, what is the Tech Corner?

Everything keeps resetting, but still you progress. You got the sword, the watering can, but you died five times in the process. The teens burned down your pirate ship while you were away. Your audio equipment is degrading at an unsettling rate. Fortunately everything is safe, now that you live in the cloud. Now that you're live in the cloud.
Note: We recorded this one with every host remote, and as a result it's a little lower key than usual, but we hope you enjoy it all the same. For a weird experience, watch the video version.
Games Discussed: Minit, The Legend of Zelda, Hyper Light Drifter, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Sea of Thieves, Imbroglio, Cinco Paus, Jackbox Party Packs, You Don't Know Jack (2018)

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from the Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs.
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
We'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs soon!
Discussed: Your first gaming system, watching every film that ever has won--or ever will win--Best Picture at the Academy Awards, adapting our podcasts to the popular medium of anime, ASMR, #ASMRsensations, bay area restaurants' inability to stay open because our local economy is a disaster, eating take-out when in a video game development late night hell, exercise and self care, Amazon Alexa as the nexus of everything we've ever discussed, how to behave at a video game convention, the best year of our lives, 2014, The Matrix, All Robots Go To Heaven, eating foreign cuisine, a malevolent chef aiming to prepare the most disgusting possible dish of your favorite foreign cuisine, video game user experience design, designing an Idle Thumbs-themed room escape, changing one thing about the world, horrifying consequences, noticing all Academy Award-winners suddenly change to reveal possible future outcomes for mankind, enjoying things you thought you'd hate, Patreon postcards, an update on the status of George Broussard's Hamburger

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from the Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs.
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
We'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs soon!
Discussed: B. D. Wong, HPB Wong, The Idle Thumbs Patreon, impressing someone with your cooking ability, impressive cooking disasters, roasting tomatoes, roasting your dad's tomato sauce recipe, climate change, Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, only playing Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis one more time before you die, Positive and Uplifting Internet Content*, ABBA, My Brother, My Brother, and Me, Content ID, how do podcasts use tons of licensed music and not get destroyed?, This American Life uploading their library to YouTube and being Content ID'd into a crater, which podcasts would we guest on and ruin, being one step closer to the grave, lightly roasted coffee, powerfully roasted coffee, :-), brushing your teeth for a week so you don't have to brush your teeth for a long time, teleporting around, good genies vs bad genies, our favorite tiki drinks, the Winter Olympics, StarCraft 2, QWOP
*Positive and Uplifting Internet content: Pepe Silvia w/drums, Nick tries to Ambush Far Cry 2 while Chris Remo plays music, Thru-YOU, Gangnam Style (yeah), Justice DVNO music video, any Vine compilation

You look up from your keyboard and notice something's not right. It looks like the game you were just playing, but a little off. A little worse. Did you fall into a game within a game? "No worries," you think, as you resume tapping away at the keys, "I'll just finish up this little Easter Egg and be moving again in no time," and delve deeper. The police discover your skeleton, still at the keyboard, dead for who knows how long. The officer who found your remains enters them into evidence improperly, is suspended without pay, and must restore from a previous save. You look up from your keyboard and notice something's not right.
Discussed: Celeste, PICO-8 fantasy video game console, Celeste for PICO-8, Inside a Star-Filled Sky, The Veldt (Ray Bradbury short story), the game police, Police Quest, Duncan Fyfe's Police Quest article for Waypoint, Duncan Fyfe's podcast Something True, The Pixel Art Progenitors, They Are Billions, billions, Anno: 27 Billion, pinball, Cinco Paus, Flappy Bird, Bay Tek Games, MirraViz Multiview Display, gaslighting by cinema, Far Cry 2, Super Smash Bros., Nintendo LABO, Consumer Game War.Improved, The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, hacking Donkey Kong high scores
Sponsored By: Squarespace (use offer code "thumbs" for 10% off your website), Casper (use offer code "thumbs" for $50 off select mattresses), MVMT (use offer code "thumbs" for 15% off watches and more)

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from the Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs.
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
We'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs next week!
Discussed: Wizard Jam, Idle Thumbs co-hosts, starting an independent game studio, guilty pleasure games, Flipflop Solitaire, Magnum P.I., playing Hearthstone single-player content, watching someone play Hearthstone single-player content, Black Mirror, how the internet ruins everything, deactivating your Facebook account, The Black Hole, V.I.N.CENT, Old B.O.B., Maximillian, Sleep No More, The Speakeasy, The Strange Undoing of Prudencia Hart, TV theme songs, the theme from Matlock, the theme from Law and Order, Idle Thumbs recording processes, the awesome folks in the Thumbs community, Idle Chums, keeping fish alive, letting fish die

The year finally over, you drag your tired, ragged husk into your desk chair, flick on your monitor and reach for your mouse, but your hand slips and falls to your side, sleep finally overtaking you. Two days later you wake up, rub the gunk out of your eyes, drink a half gallon of water, and feel alive for the first time you can really remember. "Let's leave the past in the past," you say aloud as you flick through your podcast library, "show me something new, I've had enough of 2017." Your eyes scan the description for the latest Idle Thumbs, and after skimming over a familiar sounding story of someone falling asleep using a computer, you settle on the final sentence. Though you didn't think you would, you smile: "Join us for a loving look back through our favorite video games of 2017."
Discussed: Welcome to 2018: Take what you can get, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds, Overwatch, Flappy Bird, Heat Signature, Super Mario Odyssey, Cuphead, West of Loathing, Thimbleweed Park, Oxygen Not Included, Getting Over It With Bennett Foddy, Gordon Freeman's Perfect Playthrough, video games academic curriculum, games you think won't be for you but end up loving, Civilization, Golf Story, Far Cry 2, Spelunky (2008), Spelunky (2012), Spelunky 2, Insufferable Pedantic Gamer With Chris Remo, the reason Sheik can't use Zelda's magic in Super Smash Bros, Star Wars, Weird Weird Popsenfarts GmbH

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from the Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs.
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
We'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs next week!
Discussed: Making a comfortable office, borrowing animal features and giving them to robots, podcasting remotely, web-based applets, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Marvel Heroes, working on licensed games, intellectual properties, the books of David Mitchell, books we like, applying the rules of basic arithmetic to the Twelve Days of Christmas, international cuisine, lab-grown food, the future of food preparation, The Nutcracker, gift giving, learning a new skill, getting distracted and not learning anything, wanting to get into something that seems cool but being unable to

Four hours since leaving home, who knows how many 'til you get there, and only the idle putts of the outboard motor have broken the silence. Silence so thick it's suffocating, to the point that you don't know what will happen if you actually do say something. You almost did early on, but you saw it in its eyes: the nervous anticipation, the anxiety, the fear sweating out of that cartoon cap when it saw you open your mouth, and spared you both the embarrassment. But... Maybe it's not both of you, maybe it's just you. Maybe the cap has no clue what to say to you because you never say anything to it. Maybe if you opened up a little, people would be interested, they'd reciprocate, they'd share too. Maybe you'd be able to start making friends again, have a goddamn life. You realize you've spent so long thinking about this that it wouldn't make sense to talk now, so you just stay quiet. The puttering slows then stops, replaced by the hissing and servos of the ship’s landing gear, as the door whizzes open and meets the ground with a clank. You sigh and reach for the cap, avoiding its gaze as you put it on your head, then look out onto a new world. "Let's-a go."
Discussed: The number 314, Super Mario Odyssey, Nintendo Switch, the Wii U Curse, Doom (2016), Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus, Waluigi's Demon Keeper: A Doom Game, backseat game development, Super Mario Bros. 3 McDonald's Happy Meal Goomba, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Mario Time, ugh those Super Mario Odyssey rabbits, Super Mario Mumblecore Roadtrip, Donkey Kong, Pauline's revenge, upcoming Mario film, Minions: A Feast for Bacchus - Total War, Crusader Kings II: Minions Nation DLC, Charles Martinet, the triple-A game design spectrum, fine-toothed special-case comb, Steam Link, Thimbleweed Park, Bomber Crew, Steam, Terroir, wacky upbeat klezmer, boosting the marketing phrase, the arc of microtransactions over time, J Allard, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, World of Warcraft, Xbox One X, game fatigue, Nick Breckon
Sponsored by: Squarespace (with offer code "thumbs" for 10% off), Omaha Steaks (enter offer code "idle" into the search bar for a special offer)

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from the Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs.
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
We'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs next week!
Discussed: live episodes, our favorite things, Patreon postcards, San Francisco sightseeing, muting your family, our (questionably) deep knowledge, something confusing about a thief and a genie, buying stuff for your dad, Twin Peaks, Jonathan Blow, FPS Myst, RPG Doom, "Let Us Melt" soundtrack by Jessica Curry, "Switched-On Bach" album by Wendy Carlos, game designers and job titles, platforming, Jodorowsky's Dune (Amazon, iTunes), escape rooms, Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes, Eternal September

This episode is an artifact of a simpler time. Buried in the ground for mere days, when you excavate it now, you barely understand what is discussed. "Why aren't they talking about the new Mario game for half this episode?" you wonder, your brain unable to see what is right before you. Eventually you settle in and enjoy what you have and are a better person for it, but only because you listen to the episode while playing Mario.
Discussed: the past, Cuphead, Battlestar Galactica Deadlock, Super Mario Odyssey, Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle, video game curricula, [Half-Life 2:] Epistle 3, Marc Laidlaw, Mike Laidlaw, Laidlaw & Laidlaw, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

It's like he can see you, the little face in the corner of your screen. Your cursor hovers over a unit you think looks cool - a little plastic orb car you bet you'd have fun riding around in if this wasn't a game - and he frowns. Correction: He looks you in the eye, and frowns. He sighs. "You're going to pick that? Really that one?" You roll your cursor over a few others and he holds his breath, clearly not wanting to say whatever he's thinking about your choices, because they're clearly not nice. Finally, you scroll a few pages back in the build list and come across a fancy visitor's center, some brightly colored automated safari vehicles, and accompanying tour track. You watch him for any reaction, and it happens so quickly, so subtly, you barely notice it, but it was there: a quick bob of the head, an affirmative. You drag the units onto the map, arrange them in a pleasant way, and are immediately killed by a dinosaur then swept away by an unprecedented tropical storm.
Discussed: Heat Signature, nightmarish self-imposed social media torture channel, StarCraft II, nightmarish multiplayer voice chat, ninth anniversary of the Idle Thumbs Podcast, Heat Signature launch trailer, Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy, Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy announcement trailer, infomercial-like Rockstar Games trailers, Red Dead Redemption 2, Thimbleweed Park, Jurassic World Evolution, hypothetical Jurassic Park Tycoon game, one B.D. Wong unit, the duty of a game to communicate its full systemic depth

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from the Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs.
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
We'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs this very week!
Discussed: virtual reality, augmented reality, being replaced by androids, traveling, candy, the Kit Kat for assholes, moving, choice moist hoistings, bad apartments, inscrutable communication, funny domain names, imposter syndrome, video game sophistication distinctions, Idle Thumbs Patreon postcard update, Kraft products, keeping journals, The West Wing: The Video Game, The Shitty Wizard: The Video Game, inadvertent hoistings by way of generosity

You sit down, strap yourself in, and wait for the feels. You turn a knob until the bass integrated into the back of the seat starts to thrum and buzz. "Ah, I can feel that for sure," you say aloud to no one. Your mouth turns down at the side, half a frown, as you look through your options. The hosts said they recorded this a while ago, but you think they might have been too kind. On the screen: A collection of lost games for an 8-bit console. A new video game system called the "Xbox One X." A... new... 2D Sonic the Hedgehog. Suddenly the thrum is not just in your back, but everywhere. The hum unbearable, you swat at your gamer harness, but the five point lock holds you strong. The hum is everything, everywhere. "What year is this?!" you scream out into the night street, before it all goes black.
Discussed: UFO 50, Tacoma, Steve Gaynor's stupid websites, Xbox One X, Xbox One X box (1), Subsurface Circular, StarCraft Remastered, buying a house with the money you saved by not buying avocados and instead saving 20% on flowers you millennial idiot, sugar-free shit-inducing gummy bears, stuff moms hate, tactical gamer chair, Sonic Mania, Sonic depression, deformable terrain, Myth, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pyre, UI polish, game spectator views, PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds, Salty Bet, MUGEN, Deceit (Steam game), Bungie, Battle.net, Japanese video games
Sponsored by: Squarespace one-stop website creator with the offer code THUMBS, ProFlowers flower delivery with the offer code THUMBS

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from our Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs.
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
We'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs next week!
Discussed: Thumbs survival instincts, The WIZYs, Nintendo Horsebag, music composition, streaming, tiki drinks, hobbies, anticipated upcoming pop culture, arcade machines, Major Havoc, Marvel Cinematic Universe, being curmudgeons about the Marvel Cinematic Universe, video game trades, shoes

They're out there. They're at the gates. You can hear their indistinct scrabbling and inhuman gobbering. scrabbling and It's a strange and hostile world—dinosaurs, self-replicating weird car homunculi, The Thing—but that's why you built your house out of stone, after all. There's nothing to worry about…is there? One of the voices pierces the night and, pressing your ear against the thick walls, you strain to hear.
"Come out, you piece of shit!"
Discussed: West of Loathing, ideal game rating system, Production Line, self-driving car robot capitalist nightmare, The Isle, Rust, fair betting on competitive spectator games, hypothetical The Thing online multiplayer game, Grand Moff Tarkin
Sponsored by: Squarespace, with the offer code "THUMBS" for 10% off

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from our Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs. This month it's a lightning round: two minutes an answer for maximum efficiency.
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
We'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs next week!
Discussed: The future of VR headset adoption, indie comic books and adapting comics to other mediums, the origin of the "baboo" sound, making an RPG character sheet for yourself, Legion, vowels, visiting and living through an event from history, the moon, Lord Nelson's final words, what makes for a good ruination question?
A note: One answer on this podcast makes reference to Important If True Episode 24, a podcast which has not yet been released. Whoops! We forgot how our schedule works. Look for that episode on Thursday, July 27 for the answer to Reggie Clark's intriguing question, "If you were really a robot would you want to know?"

The game begins and this time, you are him. You look out through the holes in your mask, through the trees, and see the teens scattering across the camp. "They fear you," you think to yourself, gripping your iconic machete tighter, your extra senses already picking up their noise, their movements, their smell. "You are the only hunter in these woods and they fear you." A branch snaps behind you, and you whirl around. A small goblin-like man in a hat and overalls looks at you, bobbing slightly, his face expressionless. The goblin man removes his hat, his gaze never leaving yours, and throws it at your face. You try to scream but there is just blinding light, and then nothing.
Discussed: PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds, Super Mario Odyssey, Friday the 13th: The Game, the internet as distressing confessional

Enjoy this special double-length bonus episode drawn from our Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs. In order to rejigger the schedule to make a bit more sense, we're packing the Ruinations from both May and June into this episode—which means next month's July Ruination will actually be released in July. Brilliant!
We'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs next week!
Discussed: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Far Cry 2, terrible entertainment things, the use of unlimited newfound wealth, classic Idle Thumbs songs, global nuclear war, ghosts in mansions in video games, ancient Idle Thumbs podcast memes, hypothetical game remakes, autobiography titles, Something True podcast, best meals, spicy meals, our child selves, making podcasts, the etymology of "robot", dreaming, board games, comfort food, Idle Thumbs Patreon postcards, game development, Spelunky, the Great Games, the purpose of robots, video game art, internet micro-celebrity,
Not Discussed: Richard Linklater's "Everybody Wants Some!!"
Wizard Jam 5 has concluded! Wizard Jam is the Idle Thumbs community game jam, and the latest one has just concluded. Head over to the Wizard Jam 5 itch.io page or the Wizard Jam 5 forum to browse all the entries and catch up on their development. Congrats to all the participants!

There are only two kinds of people in the world, you tell yourself while looking out into the void of space, and well, maybe you'd rather be the other kind. The water ventilator broke down again, and no one's around to fix it. The whole base is going to flood with bile and fumes, and nobody cares. A guy teleported right into the middle of work the other day, just yelling at his wife or someone about a cup of water like she was there in the room, yelling about whether you could hear him, then he looked right at you and disappeared. No matter what you do, your fabricator just makes dart guns. Face it, you're not a duplican, you're a duplicant.
Discussed: Prey, Oxygen Not Included, Star Trek Bridge Crew, A Dark Room, The Ensign
Wizard Jam 5 starting right now! Wizard Jam is the Idle Thumbs community game jam. It's a two week long non-competitive game making event with a great group of people organizing and participating. If you're interested in trying your hand at making a game, joining a team, or just following along, visit the Wizard Jam 5 forum. The jam starts June 2nd!

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from our Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs. This month it's a lightning round: two minutes an answer for maximum efficiency.
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
We'll be back with a regular episode of Idle Thumbs next week!
Discussed: The future of VR headset adoption, indie comic books and adapting comics to other mediums, the origin of the "baboo" sound, making an RPG character sheet for yourself, Legion, vowels, visiting and living through an event from history, the moon, Lord Nelson's final words, what makes for a good ruination question?
Wizard Jam 5 is coming up! Wizard Jam is the Idle Thumbs community game jam. It's a two week long non-competitive game jam with a great group of people organizing and participating. If you're interested in trying your hand at making a game, joining a team, or just following along, visit the Wizard Jam 5 forum. The jam starts June 2nd!

As the old saying goes, "When the Chris is away, Jake and Nick will play... the demo to Prey."
"Specifically," the saying goes on, "the demo of the 2017 version of Prey, not the previous Prey or its demo, or the other two demos for unreleased Prey games." The saying is unpopular and fails to convey how good the Prey 2017 demo is. We're joined by James Spafford to talk about exploring creepy old houses, the experience of skiing down a hill with no one else around, and, yeah, some more Zelda.
Discussed: What Remains of Edith Finch, Prey (2017) Demo, Steep, The Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

"Now boarding all rows, all groups." Lemore was running late. Stepping up to the gate, he presented a creased boarding pass. The crisp sound of denial emanated from the machine. "I'm sorry, Mr. Macklemore, but this is telling me you've already boarded." Fist clenched, Lemore stared down the tunnel in disbelief. "It's Lemore," he said under his breath in a defeated tone. "Professor Mack Lemore." But it was no use. Once again, he'd been had.
Discussed: Horizon: Zero Dawn, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Dark Souls, Sonic/Mario ROM hack, Trespasser: The Lost World - Jurassic Park, identity fraud

All three Thumbs are still playing the new Zelda, and still having just as much of a blast. And some readers have a variety of Trespasser reactions to follow up Nick's recent playthrough. Plus: Jake gets confused about his own life.
Discussed: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Fallout 4: Sim Settlements, Trespasser

It's a week of ambition, both realized and failed. All three hosts continue their journeys through The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, but Nick Breckon goes the extra mile by slogging through the entirety of the oft-maligned Trespasser: The Lost World. There, he discovers moments of brilliance years ahead of their time, and also a lot of broken dinosaur animations.
Discussed: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Trespasser: The Lost World - Jurassic Park

An old man sits in the dark, alone, waiting for a hero to arrive. The old man has lived a full life; he has seen things you wouldn't believe, but the world has changed around him, without him. "Were you able to get the files to download? I bought the game but nothing showed up," he says to no one in particular. "I was having a lot of trouble." He continues to wait for help.
Discussed: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Mac shareware, ResEdit, Nintendo Switch, Bloodborne, choose-your-own-adventure books, Wasteland, Fatal Frame 2, old man complaints about technology

Enjoy this bonus episode drawn from our Idle Thumbs Patreon Ruination Online! Each month, we do a livestream where all topics have been posed by high-tier backers of our Patreon campaign: patreon.com/IdleThumbs
Due to popular demand, we're releasing the audio of that stream to the main podcast feed for easier listening.
Discussed: The hype cycle, making movies, death robots, music listening habits, World of Warcraft and missing the boat, The Legend of Zelda series, Jake Rodkin, robot overlords, infinite money, cyberpunk, dumb Star Wars names, Jurassic World, Firewatch, Twin Peaks, board games, video podcasts, the moon, pets

You peek over the edge of the hill to confirm — good, they're still there. One of them gets up and walks away from their friends. You inch forward to get a better look and, yep, that one saw you. Their weapons come out, they call for help. You ready a grenade, turn to throw it, run into a rock you didn't see, and drop the grenade at your feet. It rolls down the hill. The hill is on fire, the tree is on fire, you're on fire, you accomplished nothing, and it was wonderful.
Discussed: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Far Cry 2

Look, I'm gonna level with you: this Mario thing goes deeper than we thought. We uncovered a cache of classified information in a stack of floppy disks we picked up in an EB at the mall, but now we're hearing time travel's involved too? You'll be airdropped into the Mushroom Kingdom for a BLOPS reconnaissance mission. And hey, there's one more thing. That Mario guy? We think there's two of 'em now.
Discussed: Mario, Dr. Mario, Mario Is Missing, Mario's Time Machine, shareware, Bloodborne, Dark Souls, Dead Ringers

On this week's Idle Thumbs, enjoy the first full episode of "Important If True," our newest podcast (surrounded by some dumb Idle Thumbs pre-roll and post-roll in classic fashion). We hope you enjoy it! If you do, head to importantiftrue.com to hear more—the second episode is already live.
And never fear: next week is Idle Thumbs Episode 301. Join us!
Want to support Idle Thumbs and hear the rest of Important if True ad-free? We have a Patreon campaign for that!

You look around the table and see faces that comfort you. Maybe they don't look exactly how you expect, but in their presence you feel safe and at home. More faces appear on a big screen in the corner you didn't notice before—faces you haven't seen in ages, not in this room at least. This isn't what you expected. As face after face fills the screen, you feel something growing in your throat, and realize it's an overpowering sense of nostalgia as you get to spend time hanging out with a bunch of friends you miss. Eventually, a montage goes on way too long and you delete the episode before it's over. (We'll be back in two weeks with another episode. See you then!) Discussed: Nontraditional use cases for 3D televisions, invert-X vs invert-Y, resisting scratching an itch, Mortal Kombat, Metal Gear Solid, nostalgia in virtual spaces, brotherhood and growing up, what we look like, Cribbage with Grandpas, Resident Evil VII, Dark Souls, living in haunted houses from the 1970s, Idle ThumbsCheck out Chris, Nick, and Jake's new weekly series, Important If True! Want to support Idle Thumbs and hear our new show ad-free? We have a Patreon campaign for that!

Your burning questions were so white hot they melted through the mailbag, through the table, and through two stories of floor and ceiling. Join us three floors below the earth in the Idle Thumbs underground bunker (now with mail-shaped skylight) as we get down and dirty with what's left of your letters.
Discussed: Donkey Kong Jr., Solar Jetman, Super Metroid Rotation, Dwarf Fortress, Skyrim, Dr. Mario, Doctor Mario (D. Cronenberg, 1992), League of Legends, Freecell, Animal Crossing

It's Reader Mail! Episode 300 is looming big on the horizon, but we pushed it back a ways so we can live in this moment together and enjoy what we have. Join us in delaying the inevitable, with an all-reader-mail, all-video-games podblast.
Discussed: Spyro the Dragon, Minecraft, Myst, Dark Souls, Bloodborne, Donkey Kong Country

Somebody once told me the following on a podcast: Somewhere a moth is happily driving a car around a room, hunting for things that smell nice. Something deep in a crocodile whispers "you could have been a bird." Somehow these are the things that interest us. Hey, everyone needs a hobby.
Discussed: The Idle Thumbs Podcast, Mouth Moods/Mouth Sounds, the evolution of dinosaurs and birds, Jurassic Park III, Jurassic World, cyborg moth cars, Bubble Tape, XOR, hobbies, cooking, cocktails, Dark Souls 2

This week we talk about two fictional metropolises, both invaded by strange, small men intent on messing up the lives of regular folk just trying to get through their day. Also we met Jeff Goldblum.
Discussed: Jeff Goldblum and The Mildred Snitzer Orchestra, Super Mario Odyssey, Batman Returns, Donkey Kong Jr., Bubble Tape, Toxoplasmosis, Robots

It's rainy, it's cold, and you have nothing to do, or maybe too much. Sometimes you just need to curl up with the old classics, and their sequels, and their sequels' sequels.
Discussed: Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park: The Lost World, Jurassic Park III, Star Wars, Star Wars: A New Hope, The Witness, Tales of Monkey Island, clowns

You're not sure how it got this bad. The descent was slow, but then suddenly it seemed the world had changed. Our heroes became villains, twisted, corpulent, ruling from a golden throneroom in a palace above the town. A palace you built them. You go to talk to him, but Super Mario looks past you, out into the world he has made. Mario doesn't see you, and doesn't care.
Discussed: Hollyweed sign, Super Mario Run, Super Mario World, anime robot in a jar, Glittermitten Grove, Frog Fractions 2

Let's cast out 2016 and make room for whatever it is that's coming next. Join us as we look deep, deep into the future and... actually never mind that, Nick's just fired up Diablo 1 and managed to connect to the late '90s version of Battle.net. See you all next year!
Discussed: Diablo, Diablo 2, Diablo 3, Dark Souls, Dark Souls 3, Time Commanders, Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard

As the year draws to a close, things get a little out of hand. What starts as a discussion of Super Mario Run quickly gets away from us and leads us deep into the worlds of sound editing disasters, mascot shoplifting, the history of gaming retail chains, and how to tell when a store might be laundering food stamps.
Discussed: Super Mario Run, MARIO, Super Mario, Bay-Mission Market, Portal, The Mummy

Chris buys a cup that he thinks looks like a piece of human anatomy, and against all odds, it leads to an unexpected and completely impromptu look back at some of our favorite games of the year.
Discussed: Hitman, Super Hypercube, Planet Coaster, Dark Souls, Dark Souls 2, Super Mario Run, Super Nintendo World, Catacombs of Solaris

This week we take your questions, line them up, and knock them down. Yes, it's mailbag week! After Nick takes a wager in Dark Souls that will change his life forever (and Chris digs a hole in the ground) we go deep into the Idle Thumbs Reader Mail inbox.
Discussed: Dark Souls, Planet Coaster, The difference between game genres and genres in other mediums, The Secret of Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, The Stanley Parable, Friends you only connect with inside video games, StarCraft II, ICQ, "Low fidelity" game development, "Millionaire caves," Wizard Jam, Gomix, Many unsolicited promotional offers, The septic tank that is the underbelly of the Internet, Video Games

You are not locked in a prison of your mind, this is what you want to be doing. This is what needs to be done. Trees must be planted, more trees. The guests love trees. This boss won't beat himself. You know you can do it, but you can't talk; everyone is asleep. If you don't sleep, the world will stay just as it is.

Join us on a grand circle tour of massive-scale architecture, both real and imagined. In Planet Coaster we step through the mouth of Dot Gobbler himself, crossing the threshold into Thumbsland, the park that never closes, the park whose rides never end (because they are incomplete). Did you hear that? It's the sound of San Francisco, California, without a bus or train in sight. Sounds like someone needs to fire up Cities in Motion and get to work. The last leg of our journey will take us along the rim of the Grand Canyon, care of Google and Alphabet Incorporated. Please remain standing so we don't have to stream in the canyon floor at high detail. Also, Nick played Dark Souls. Happy Thanksgiving!

This week you are beset by waking nightmares and cannot continue. Giant insects pour from the sky and from the walls, hungry for blood, or maybe bones. A funny man screams out again and again for meat, for any meal, and you know he will not die because your voice says so; he is now in a state of infinite hunger, living on old fruit and dirty water. A popup window appears above your head, which reads "Everything is okay, none of it is real. You are part of an elaborate simulation built to entertain Steve Gaynor." You dismiss the popup and sleep soundly.

Feeling like the world's driving you up a wall? Life's out of control, galloping over a cliff? Everything you thought you could achieve is just on the other side of the glass, out of reach? Fortunately we have video games, where all your wishes are granted. Join us as we scale the walls of Titanfall 2, rein things in and take control of Battlefield 1, and discover that no matter what you try in Hitman, maybe the game IS rigged and you just can't win.

Are you guys ready to do The Fun Cast? Your employment agreement stipulates that you're are, so let's go! This week our hosts Shmirkin Burpin and Minion 600 check out Owlboy, finally released after nine years in development! Then, Nick Breckon, confused as to where he is, drives a tank up a hill and back down. Finally, an update on the new intra-organization subway service. Thanks everyone, back to work.

The future arrived and for once, we liked it. This is very confusing, but it's definitely happening now. This is really when it's happening. Nick and Jake get their hands on PlayStation VR and play the heck out of it. Chris, who prefers a more traditional immersive themed environment, visits the immaculately produced Tokyo DisneySea and can't contain himself. Where does VR sit next to the rest of gaming? Is there space for the player in stories that aren't about them, especially in a medium fixated on literally putting players in the heroe's shoes? What does this have to do with a fictional New York in the middle of Japan, with a janitor who, when your back is turned, starts emitting cartoon sound effects and giving high fives to everyone around him? Find out moments from now. Step into this pod, press play, immerse yourself, and please tell a friend about what you experienced here.

Welcome to episode 4186-0000-028C-E9F8! We bring you word from a simpler time. A better time, before the mess we're in today. A time when you played World of WarCraft. Join us in this life until Chris Remo returns from Japan and tells us of what he saw there.
Discussed: Virginia, World of WarCraft: Legion, Nidhogg 2, GameMaker, Nintendo NX

Before Chris boards a plane to Japan we take a trip to Hitman Con 2016, where there are no talks, and no one wears a badge, but the cosplay game is off the charts. Join us for a brief look at the most recent two Hitman episodes, talk of episodes yet to come and episodes that will never be (outside of our dreams).

Slap on your 3D scanned face, check your latest upgrades, don some really expensive stupid sunglasses, and hit the streets: it's time for Deus Ex: Mankind Divided. Then, slap on your 3D scanned face, check your latest upgrades, don some really expensive stupid sunglasses, and hit the streets: it's time for NBA 2K17. We do all of these things, and tell you how it went.

Hey, over here. Yeah, it's me. My friends call me Wide Boy. You can call me Wide Boy 64. So where's that other goatscaver? What? It's just you? You uncle-terder. You wod head. You goat-jashiping crassmicker. Fine. Let's get going. Take this pill, put on this nice mask. Try to blend in. Look happy. And hey, clotwizard: if you get caught, you're dead. I'm not coming back for you. You marfing barfo.

If your controller has a hamburger button, you should press it. Chris pressed the hamburger and watched as his copy of Halo traveled in time from his Xbox 1 to his Xbox One. We also pressed the hamburger button in our minds, mentally transporting ourselves to the mid '90s with Obduction, the latest from Cyan. Meanwhile, Nick, starting up his third new game studio in as many years, demanded his employees add hamburger buttons to all their latest product in Software Inc.

High up in the clouds, the best pilot you've ever flown with leads you to your next target, a target the two of you cut through like it's made of tin foil. You're the front gunner, pretty new to the job, but already you two are working like clockwork, knocking fighters out of the sky left and right. "I'm hungry," says the pilot over text chat. You see he's named Nick. You're hungry too. Maybe there's somewhere to eat, maybe the two of you will go together like the great friends you've become? You look up and Nick has left the pilot seat. You're alone. The mountain fills your viewport and you wish you'd joined Jake and Chris at PAX instead. (Despite what we say at the start this truly is Idle Thumbs 279, not 280.)

Beef Chief [3/5 stars]
We visited Thumbsland this weekend, and while riding Beef Chief I had fun with my son! So many ghosts every time I go down there! (Which is certainly not a problem.) I heard that burgers are real. I heard they're from burger church. I think about Thumbsland in my head, and it hurts, so I don't think about it for many years. Anyway, enough with the pleasantries! Come to our PAX meetup! (Saturday at 7pm at The Diller Room.)

Finally, time for video games. You settle down for a long night of cyber-hacking and theme park design. This is going to be so immersive, you think. But the experiences are fleeting, fractured. Not quite what you expected, in ways you can't pin down. Your memories feel...misplaced. No wait, they're just in that drawer over there. You can't help but feel there's a more complete version of this, if you could only focus. You close your eyes, but they blink back open against your will. Now you are dunking a basketball—blink—you are sorting ever-taller stacks of hats—blink—you are button mashing for your very life. Over it all, a haunting piano repeats a single note. Coming soon.

With tens of thousands descending on Seattle's Key Arena to bathe in the spectacle and drama of The International 6, and hundreds of thousands more barreling towards the uncertain center of No Man's Sky, ears are ringing and plugged in equal measure as hype, anticipation, uncertainty, and excitement fight to drown each other out. We are joined by Sean "Famous" Vanaman to try and talk it all through, to figure out what we think.

The cockpit lid closes, the engines fire up, the atmosphere melts away, and the infinite vastness of space is laid before you. "VHERH THOO?" flap the disgustingly real rubber lips protruding from your cockpit dashboard. "STHOMWHER NICE I THOOPE." You know the lips are still learning, but this knowledge does not endear you to them. You zoom out to check the galactic map, enter a destination for yourself, and prepare for a long trip. "DTHID YOU KNOW" the lips started, "I KNOOW THREE DITHVERENT PLEPLE NAMMED SEAN MURRAY?" You violently claw at the cockpit lid, spring it open and are sucked into the void, barely missing a resplendent space whale that happened to be cruising by. You think there's something written on the side of the whale, but before you can read it, you die in space.

"This has happened, look what you've done," the robot wrote. Chris sent Danielle to her death in deep space, but her estranged husband still comes to visit. "It's just garbage," the robot continued. Smirking, a besunglassed Nick Breckon catches a ride on a dolphin and breaks the surface in a graceful arc. "Video game & pop culture cast, hacking and robot-mongering awaits," the robot concluded, incorrectly. "It's a good one!"

Join us on two very different journeys to the future... of the past. We crack open our briefcase-sized laptop and hack through layer after layer of security in the 80s cyberpunk world of Quadrilateral Cowboy, then take a wrong turn and find ourselves in the polished fiberglass and shag carpet Fondlarium of Headlander. Batman is destroyed.

Dear Mom: Life in the new colony sucks. No one knows how to hunt, the clothes they give us keep falling apart, every night there are literal wolves at the door, and Nick (or "Goldblum" as he has fashioned himself) can't keep a handle on his most basic impulses. The cable package only has ESPN 1, so Evo's out of the question. I had a pet rat for a while but I don't know what happened to it. Probably something terrible. I never thought space would be like this. I hope I can go home soon.

You pass someone on the street and immediately you know. The light hitting their face, the way they amble forward, aware of the world but maybe simultaneously inside a totally different world too. You pass them and keep to yourself, knowing that you are apart from them, not of them, but you also know, deep down, that you could become one of them at any time.

This week we do our best to unpack the criminal scandal surrounding Counter-Strike: GO gambling sites and the streamers who secretly own them while publicly promoting them, then we play a game exclusively about criminals packing things.

The robot hovers silently in front of you; its micro-props keep it nearly still in the hot evening breeze. System Shock buzzes on the screen behind you. Next to it on another screen, the new Hitman runs idle, waiting. You've made a little easy cash from the robot tonight already - no big scores but better than the alternative - which means your luck has to be running thin, but how thin? You're not sure if you imagine it but as your hand approaches the palm acceptance plate the robot seems to pause, as if to breathe in. You lower your hand, slowly slide the balcony door shut and go play video games.

Look, I am amazing at sneaking. Everyone knows I’ve always been amazing at it. It’s breathtaking–just incredible–how well I hide in a box. Cheatin’ Hitman has all the codes and tricks, and everyone still sees him. Ruins all credibility of the franchise. Just pathetic. Can’t even find the secret ghost window. Sad!

It's E3 time again. This is a weird E3, landing in a transitional time when everyone might have preferred to not come but felt the obligation all the same. We untangle our own understanding of Sony and Microsoft's announcements, get stoked about Zelda, and visit the world's largest bag of Doritos.

Maybe, somewhere beneath the games you play, somewhere too deep to feel, there is another battle taking place between forces so staggering, so total, as to be invisible. You choose a hero, enter the arena and attack, then hear a faint echo coming from miles away, or maybe the past, the future? An assailant vaporizes before you, your leaderboard lights up and you smile, but way down deep in the earth, deep in your bones, you hear the muffled cries of the Heavy and all the heavies that came before and after him, and you know what you are a part of. You change loadouts and respawn.

This week we're joined by special guest Danielle Riendeau to wander the abandoned hallways of Mars, where we create a Hell of our own, one where there's no one to bother us and all the time in the world to relax and take it in. Meanwhile, Chris takes a risky assignment in Marrakesh and is killed on the toilet, but makes it home to regale Jake with accounts of how good Overwatch is.

This week we're throwing away our traditional hyper-competitive leaderboard and focusing on hand-selected stats that show us what we've accomplished. Chris plays Overwatch and discovers that, after years away there's still a Blizzard for him. Nick goes to Disneyland, comes home and finds a new release of Planet Coaster. "This means something," he says, burying his theme park under mountains of dirt. Alone, late at night, Jake builds the Nublar.

In the middle of an awkward conversation you accidentally press down the left and right sticks at the same time. It turns out to be for the best: Your buddies look completely ridiculous frozen mid-sentence and you decide this is a perfect moment to preserve as a photo. You try to clear up the shot by setting any enemies to hidden... and find yourself suddenly alone in the room. Realizing you have no friends, you go load up Steam and play Doom for eight hours without interruption.

Before Chris disappears deep into Russia on assignment, we check all our dead drops for incoming correspondence with readers abroad, and find some gems, long forgotten and wedged way in the back. Enjoy tales of babywalling your identical twin, of vile things left in jars, of theme parks gone wrong, and of the time Nick Breckon played Dark Souls 3 alone with nothing but a bottle of rum.

Join us as we wander the world without a map, pecking away with tiny pointed attacks at anything perceived as adversarial, navigating with only the barest remembered scraps of where things were, what they were like, how they should be.

Our descent into Dark Souls 3 continues, but we started over with a brand new guy. This new guy is less lucky than the old one, but otherwise actually equipped to fight the charge guys, tree guys, ice guys, bendy guys, etc, that he encounters. He's still working on remembering their names. Meanwhile, in an Italian villa, Agent 47 visits a Spirit Halloween Store, tries on some cellophane-wrapped "Charge Guy," "Tree Guy," "Ice Guy," and "Bendy Guy" costumes, and is unimpressed.

You roll the sausage along the ground. In the far distance, lumbering beasts wage ancient battles, and a naked multicultural society roams the prehistoric plains. You roll the sausage on to a grill, and it acquires a satisfying char. Beyond the horizon, teams of highly-armed warriors fight lightning-quick pitched battles and acquire ever more advantanced technology. You drop the sausage into the ocean. Crap. Isn't something supposed to, like, happen?

It's game time. You're confident. You know this. You load up Dark Souls 3. You have some trouble with the menus, but it's alright, you figure it out. Forty minutes later, something on the screen almost resembles a human face. Enter the game—it's brutal, not what you remembered. As your grotesquely-faced wizard is wrecked beyond belief time and again, you reflect on how one can feel so old and yet like such a baby. You load Super Hypercube and watch a small cube slowly and satisfyingly descend into an appropriate receptacle. You make a drink on the rocks.

Outer space is burning, ravaged by the never-ending military-corporate conflict factory that is EVE Online. While reports are still coming in from deep space, we can confirm that just like real wars, Spacemonkey's Alliance is involved, as is Killah Bee, 1ronBank, and the Moneybadgers. If this is all too much for you, know that IKEA has released a piece of VR software that lets you chill out in a perfectly clean, virtual kitchen forever.

It is 2017. The stench of scorched mozzarella stings your nostrils. Brand warfare has emerged as the dominant vector of economic and military conflict. A delivery bot rolls your way, and you frantically dig a receipt out of your pocket, showing a recent order for a medium half-sausage, half-pepperoni. Too late, you realize your mistake: this is a Taco Bell bot. "Okay, I will destroy humans," it offers cheerfully, then everything goes black.

There's something strange about the person facing you—as though their face isn't quite their own. Strange. Everything seemed fine when you were talking online about resource management games and the new Hitman. They even had some great tips to deal with your rodent infestation. But now something seems off. You confidently offer a handshake, but just then, they go in for the fist bump. Oh, God. It's all over now.

This week, game developers gather in San Francisco to confer. Chris, Nick, Jake, and Steve swap stories from this year's Game Developers Conference including Super Hypercube and VR as its own medium, a look into the creation of Darkest Dungeon and finding, and adapting to your audience, and Nick Breckon's return to the NBA.

We paid some of the smartest and most hardworking university-grade linguists to translate the contents of this week's episode into a language you will understand. Unfortunately they were unable to finish their work, as one was suddenly gored by an elk, the others are caught up in a cheating scandal surrounding the game of Bridge, and a randomly propagated fire seems to have engulfed the room they were using to do most of their work. We were able to save one notebook from the blaze, a notebook empty except for the phrase, "You are the One."

This week we take a look at harbingers of our dark future that are not only available today, but can be controlled with an Xbox 360 controller. We dive into the final release of SUPERHOT and become sweat-soaked, tool-assisted killbots for reasons too convoluted to bother with, and chase that down with videos of a new silent robotic BigDog, and its encounter with a very agitated normal small dog.

Boston Dynamics has upped its robot game, advancing the state of cybernetics ever further. Meanwhile, all we've been doing is playing some video games. So grab your hockey stick, your basketball, and your devil dagger, because the clock is counting down, the future of humanity is on the line, and all eyes are on you. It's time to bust a signature move. Featuring James Spafford as Jake Rodkin, and Robot Jake Rodkin as Jake Rodkin's introductory spiel.

This week we dream of success in the face of almost certain failure. Of reaching out and, just for a second, really feeling like you've achieved something. A soldier in XCOM 2 lasts long enough to top the squad leaderboard, long enough to earn a permanent seat on the transport ship, long enough that we recognize her trademark smirk, but no longer. In NBA 2K16, a five foot eleven kid gets drafted out of high school, makes his family proud, and even plays in a few games, before his teammates conspire against him and sink his career. A video game podcast produces 250 episodes over eight years.

Today's the day. Today you can play all those games you've been eyeing but didn't feel you had the time. Unfortunately you only have a couple spare hours, and those games are XCOM 2, Rise of the Tomb Raider, and the goddamn Witness. This week we scratch the surface of some great games, and share our impressions with you. Welcome to the half-take special.

Happy birthday to you. We're getting really into The Witness, and we've kept it spoiler-free. Happy birthday to you. Nick has also joined Chris in his Just Cause 3 devotion, and we mull over the lineage and legacy of Myst. Happy birthday to you. There's also a teddy bear that keeps singing "Happy Birthday to You." Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to—

Welcome, cadet. Your mission: go back in time, and kill baby Hitler. To assist you in this perilous but vital task, you will be outfitted with an array of dice, two decks of standard playing cards, a two-stroke go-kart engine, one swarm of bees, and a Carl's Jr. Western Bacon Cheeseburger. Good luck. Never give up. Never surrender. Oh, and if you see Winston Churchill, give him this teddy bear for me.

This episode contains three documented favorite words of Nick Breckon, age 3. Mesmerized: Jake tries a Vive for the first time and briefly forgets his friends, loved ones, and the world around him. Process: Chris spends more time with Just Cause 3 and his feelings become increasingly mixed. Anxiety: As Valve opens the Half-Life and Portal universes up to the community to make and sell expansions, we fret over the future of some of our favorite games. Plus we play Oxenfree, get excited for The Witness, and fall into the surrealistic adventure that is Nick's childhood.

You soar over a Mediterranean villa and find it so thrilling you think, "Hey, I'll build myself a new computer so this looks nicer." In the time it takes you to have this experience and this thought, a plastic robot toy built in 1985 completes Super Mario World. You remember throwing out the unused cables from your old power supply and curse. The plastic robot toy effortlessly re-programs the old Nintendo game, unlocking secrets not seen in Mario World's 25 year lifetime. The third CPU re-seat fails. As you wipe the thermal paste from your hands and start again, the robot turns off and is carried from the stage to rapturous applause.

Jake Rodkin has vanished. In his absence, we discuss Bushido Blade, Yakuza 5, Rainbow Six: Siege, and the obscure Japanese open-world game Mizzurna Falls. Which can mean only one thing: Steve "Hot Scoops" Gaynor has returned.

The new year should be treated as a time of opportunity. A time to seek out fresh experiences, to get motivated to try some things you normally wouldn't. It's also a time to collapse in a tired heap and take a break to recharge. It is for both these reasons that we're bringing you an Idle Thumbs Network Sampler this week: You get a taste of the other great shows we host here at Idle Thumbs, and we get a quick breather to rest our weak old bones.
We'll be back next week with a full new episode!

For many, this is the season of cheer and joviality, a time best spent close to family and loved ones. For others (like Nick Breckon), its the perfect time to dip a first toe into Dwarf Fortress and disappear from this world altogether. Plus, Chris shares his experiences with the top-down shooter Helldivers, and we take a look back at Star Wars games of the 1990s.

Your favorite creators are coming back, they've brought your favorite games, and to play them all you have to step into this skintight vibrating body suit. Plus, Nick returns to Crusader Kings 2 with disastrous (if unsurprising) results, and we stare straight into the surreal heart of the Frog Fractions 2 ARG.

Come in, come in… Ah, I'm surprised to see YOU wearing that hat. But welcome. My name is Dr. Caligari. I mean Dr. Strangelove. Actually, call me Dr. Langeskov. Sit back and let's take a look into your history. Boy, there are a lot of murders, aren't there? Very…densely packed. And more tweets than I expected. Still, we'll see if we can't find some gems… Just a little puzzle game joke there, ha ha. I know you love your companion apps. Hmm. It appears your original family name is "Bredon." Well, you know what they say: It all starts with a doctor and ends with an emerald.

It seems like whenever you move, she moves. Whatever drives her, she sees to know a lot about you, but you don't know where she came from, where she's going, or how you can see more of her. You sit alone in your settlement and hope she comes by again.

Now that the mobile companion apps to our favorite hardcore economic simulators and open world roleplaying games have sucked all the time out of our lives, we take a deep dip into the Idle Thumbs mailbag.

Fallout 4 has us in its thrall, but we still have questions. What would a Fallout sequel be like if it was set in the Middle East, or South America? If you're a Raider and your parents immigrated from Tuscany, does that make you a Tuscan Raider, or a Tuscan-American Raider? Why do you have to hold the shift key to navigate menus with WASD? What's "tatoes?" Plus, we talk about the lost Fallout sequel "Van Buren," and Chris' experience with Kero Blaster.

This house survived three wars, countless natural disasters, and the end of civilization as we know it. If these walls could talk, the stories they could tell might change your life. Unfortunately for these walls, they'd look pretty great lining my settlement's new basketball court. Sorry, walls, Fallout 4 is here.