Sunday, 30 May 2010

We don't normally make plans to go away during Bank Holiday weekends. Memories of motorway holdups and sheltering on rain-swept promenades usually put paid to any getaway thoughts.

However we would jump at the chance to get away from it all right now. Yesterday, Mrs C was feeling so downright lousy that I thought it best we call the hospital where she is receiving Chemo for advice. They asked us to come in so they could examine her and run some tests. They have decided that it is best for her to stay in so that they can adminster treatment.

It seems that she is suffering from a condition called neutropenia which is nothing to do with shampoo but is a problem with her White blood cells. She has got an infection so needs intravenous antibiotics as well as fluids and pain relief. She will probably be there until Monday at least.

Luckily for us the Cheeselets are blissfully unaware as our kind rellies have come down from t' north to take them into London for a weekend of Hamleys and Nandos. I know they would have been upset to see their Mum in such distress and it would have been hard on them as we spend time in the hospital.

Here's hoping that Mrs C will make a quick recovery. Maybe we can take our Bank Holiday weekend next week and get some much needed time away.

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

We had a few unseasonal hot days down here this week, which was very nice thank you (normal service has now resumed).
As predictable as melting tarmac when this occurs, we were once again treated to the usual shoddy newspaper journalism. Cue a picture of a very busy Brighton Beach. Cue a couple of 'lovelies' in bikinis and sunnies. And of course, the very predictable and well worn headline of 'hotter than the Med'.

If the sole purpose of these articles is to give you something bleeding obvious to say to your neighbour/ colleague/ milkman etc (coo, isn't it hot) then why not go the whole hog and develop a full series of plainly pointless soundbites to kill off the art of conversation altogether. I give you:
Monday 'Ooh, don't people drive fast nowadays'
Tuesday ' Bah, there's nothing on but repeats'
Wednesday 'Eugh, don't they wear funny clothes today'
Thursday 'Gosh, aren't eggs expensive'
Friday 'Damn, the roads are getting worse'
Saturday (Weekend supplement) 'Well, it might brighten up later'

Its a bank holiday this weekend so they might as well start writing now........M5 traffic chaos, doom gloom....

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

EDITED SPECIALLY FOR LEESIE
Cameron & Clegg decide on a strategy to appeal to disaffected voters. So they don 'civvies' and decide to pop into a 'normal' pub for a drink with the locals. For good measure they take David Cameron's spaniel with them to demonstrate their 'everyman' credentials.
While they order 2 pints of bitter shandy, a chap walks into the bar and, on seeing the dog, comes up and looks at its back end. Then he wanders off.
Standing, nodding to the non-plussed regulars, C & C notice another chap walk in. Again he goes up to the dog and has a good look at its rear end.
Cameron & Clegg are slightly confused by this but decide it must be 'normal' behaviour. When the barman appears Cameron asks if this is a sort of 'blokish custom'.
'No' says the barman. 'Its just that they have heard that there is a dog in the bar with 2 arseholes'.

Although a very serious subject, I was quite amused by the letter left by Liam Byrne ex-Treasury secretary to the incoming David Laws (lettergate!)
This seems like quite a 'normal' thing to do when you have been displaced from your job, 'friendly' even. It apparently has precedent, James Callaghan getting a letter in 1964 from the outgoing Tories saying 'good luck old cock....sorry to leave it in such a mess'.

Other less friendly things to have done:
1. Block up all the staplers
2. Take the castors off the chairs
3. Take all the lightbulbs
4. Leave crumbs in all the keyboards
5. Hide the keys to all the cupboards
6. Put something nice behind the radiators - a dog turd perhaps?

I'm sure there are plenty of other ways to greet the new administration in a welcoming way.

By the way, I would love there to be some political issue concerning a scandal around a garden gate - just to see someone try to label this 'Gate-gate'.

On 23rd May my mate Ian is insanely riding a bike from London to Chamonix in the French Alps - a distance of some 600 miles (with a sharply rising gradient!) . This is to raise money for a cancer care charity http://www.ucare-oxford.org.uk/, which Ian recently had cause to visit.
Now I'm sure he won't mind me saying that he wasn't exactly built for spending days in the saddle so this is an incredibly ambitious objective. However I note that with an intensive training regime he is already a leaner version of himself and I am certain he can do this in the 6 days he has targeted.
If you want to learn more and support Ian's endeavours, here are the relevant links: