Florida School Ordered To Stop Giving Mountain Dew Before Tests

At a school in Florida, elementary students were drinking Mountain Dew before taking a very important, standardized test. After a complaint, the Creel Elementary School will now stop servin’ the Dew before the test.

The school serves trail mix and 3 tablespoons of Mountain Dew before administering the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test each day. Why oh why did they think that giving already hyperactive children something that has an absurd amount of sugar and caffeine in it was a good idea? As the saying goes: only in Florida.

A grandmother contacted local media about the practice, which was probably a good idea. The principal, Kathryn Eward said that the soda was part of an overall effort to get kids “excited and ready for the FCAT.” Yeah, we’re sure it got them extremely, extremely excited. Next time maybe give the kids some apple juice or something? Work with us, Florida.