Too Hungover to Leave the House: Irish Hangover Food

30 July 2015

Too Hungover to Leave the House: Irish Hangover Food

Hangover cravings usually involve salt, and a lot of it! Also, everything unhealthy and full of fat. There’s no other cure. Put an apple or a banana in front of me and I’ll scream “What is this satanic object?” and it will get thrown back at you.

Scenario: You just woke up at three in the afternoon, you’re starving and you hit the sauce heavy last night. There are several options but leaving the house just isn’t one of them. Get into your trackie bottoms, pull down the blinds and shun the outside world for a while. Now, to decide what to eat. Here’s some options to suit all kinds of hangover needs and cures.

1.Stage 10 hangover: Can’t move. Can’t get up and can’t involve effort. This sort of illness cannot deal with an expedition, even inside the house. It’s time to order a Spice Bag. Call your nearest Chinese restaurant and order a bag of spicy goodness with a nice pot of curry sauce or ‘curdy sauce’ as us Irish like to pronounce it.

2.The traditional hungover Irishman/ woman: Only one thing can satisfy this kind of need. A good ole Tayto sandwich. For those of you who are un-Irish and unaware, this is a sandwich filled with crisps and it is only acceptable with Tayto cheese and onion crisps, Brennans white sliced pan and a tonne of butter.

3.Need to do something hangover: The kind of hangover where you’ve the slightest bit of energy and you don’t quite know what to do with life today. If you’re feeling inventive (you’re not really though, because you’re taking this idea from us), head to the fridge to see if you have the essentials for this quick-and-easy recipe. If you’re Irish, you have these, no need to look. You’re going to make a grilled cheese wrapped in rashers sandwich. Also, only Brennans bread allowed. So, you get your two slices of bread, fill it with whatever cheese tickles your fancy and wrap it in juicy, salty BACON! Place it on the frying pan and wait for it to cook. VOILA! You’re welcome.

4.“Help me” Hangover: This is for the students, people waiting for pay day, unemployed and we can also squeeze in the Stage 10 Hangover guys too. This can be cured with whatever is left in the freezer. Every freezer has one or more of the following that are waiting around for one of these days. Grab whatever tickles your fancy and shtick it into the oven. The list of remedies include frozen pizza, nuggets, waffles, hash browns, all kinds of burgers, chips, onion rings and spring rolls if you’re into that sort of thing.

5.“I think I’m dying” Hangover: You have the fear and it needs to go away. You drank too much, you’re very unwell but not quite sick enough to go to hospital. Nearly there though. This may sound weird, but try eating burnt toast. The carbon acts like a filter in the body. It’s supposed to help but it’s not quite the same as the carbon used to treat types of poisonings. Worth a try though.

6.“I need my mammy” Hangover: This is for the desperate.. or maybe you live with your parents and that makes it really acceptable to do this. You call your mam or your granny, tell them you’re sick or if they’re sound, tell them you’re hungover. They automatically make you a dinner out of worrynessness. These kind of cures include a pot of stew, shepards pie, bacon and cabbage or lasagne if they’re adventurous.

There you have it, the 6 cures for the Irish hangover. Which one are you??