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or mail it to:

Dear Meat
12394 Charles St.
La Plata MD, 20646

Yours,
Matt

Dear L,

I know we haven’t really talked in months but I miss you more and more every day. Time hasn’t healed the hole that was left in me when they told you to keep your distance from me. I know we see each other every now and then and I seem like I’m okay, but the truth is, I’m not. I’m more miserable than I was a year ago. I’ve messed up in ways I wish I could tell you, I’ve done things to myself I wish you knew, and I’ve cried my eyes out every night knowing I’m alone now. There isn’t one thing in the world I wouldn’t give to talk to you one last time. You were the only one who ever believed in me and who truly understood what was happening to me. Nobody’s filled your place and I don’t think they ever will. I’m trying to get through this alone but it’s harder than ever before. You really did make a difference and I’m so thankful. You’re my hero!

Sincerely,Your young friend with the shitty life.

Dear Boy,

You were my first kiss 2 weeks ago. Even though I was drunk, even though you were drunk, we both still wanted to do it sober. We’ve liked each other for a year now and yet you still won’t give me your all. You told me “I’ll save you for later” because you don’t want a serious girlfriend in high school. I just want you to know that I will not wait for you to hook up with a bunch of girls for the next 2 years. You can have me now or never. I really like you, and I’ve never liked anyone this way, so make your decision. Now.

Love, The Girl

Dear StereoMood,

I’m so glad that you came into my life. Great music for all of my moods. And I love finding new songs. I know this may sound a little dramatic, but how did I go on living without you? I can tell that we will be together a long time.

Lovingly Yours,The Happiest Stressed Out College Student Who Can’t Wait For This Shiz To Be Over In Two Weeks<3

Dear Body,

No, I will not be getting pregnant this month, i’m sorry you were all geared up for a baby. Can we talk about this before you act all irrationally? It’s not fair, I would really like to get pregnant and have babies too, but it’s just not good timing. Just wait a few more years, once we meet a nice guy and get married. I’m sorry that you worked so hard to make my uterus so comfortable, I really do appreciate it. Please stop throwing around hormones just because you’re upset. I really don’t like the way you’re acting right now. Stop swelling up and aching, this temper tantrum isn’t going to get you very far. It’s not going to happen next month either, or the one after that. If you don’t knock this off, I’m going to stop feeding you sweets and I’m going to make you jog. That’s right, I’m going to dress you up in stretchy pants and let everyone laugh at you while you jiggle about campus. I mean it body, enough. I can’t keep feeding you midol to make this better, the caffeine makes me clean compulsively and my hands are raw from bleach. Please, i’m begging you.

Sincerely,

The being attached to your fallopian tubes.

Dear Knoxville,

Seriously, am I that disgusting to you? The whole mess was months ago. I’m not trying to flirt with you or anything. I’m pretty much out of your bubble. I don’t bother you much. I’m just trying to be nice. And you, you act like a complete imbicil.

You freak out about anything that has to do with me and you in the same context. You bash some of the most sensitive and dear things about my life. You freaked out about having me drive you to the freaking store. Bad enough people laugh at me because of you; the way you treat me is especially harsh sometimes. It wasn’t like that before.All I ever did was have a small crush on you. Is that so bad?

-A

Dear Prolonged Crush

I have no idea why you are so different then the other girls, for this simple crush to last as long. Many times came when I thought I was over you, then they past and I realized I wasn’t. I know I will never have you, for whatever reasons, considering the idiots you have dated or that one horrible prom date you had. I don’t know why it lasts, but it does, and I do want it to go but I don’t want it to go. It lets me know I am not cold and heartless like others think I am or as I sometimes think of myself.

Dear facebook and youtube

No one likes your so called “improvements”. Stop trying to “simplify” our lives with your complicated updates.

thank you

concerned user

Dear “Best Friend,”

I really do appreciate your sudden interest again in my life. It just sucks a little bit that you just found it after 8 months without it. It’s pretty messed up that you decided to fake cramps and go sleep at your boyfriend’s house instead of hanging out at our best friend’s 18th birthday party. It’s cool though. I totally understand that I haven’t seen you in months and you’d rather spend time with the guy you see daily. Makes complete sense to me.

Lots of love,

The one that has always been there for you, even when you’re not for me.

Dear Maniac,

You can ride my back all day long and laugh maniacally in my ears, but if a tall, handsome man in a white suit approaches us with a frying pan, I promise you nothing.

-Fem-Jockey

Dear Lost Boy,

I wrote you a letter last night, one you’ll never read. I poured my heart and everything I felt for you into it. Then I found out tonight that you’re dating this girl that lives in Alabama. I wonder if you had sex with her & lost your virginity. I wonder what you’ll do when you have to come back to Maryland and you have nobody. Not even your friends, because they all think you’re stupid and you lie to them. Not even your family, because this whole trip is a secret to them in the first place. I sent you random pictures I took on my phone all day, but never sent any words. I wanted to make you wonder what I was doing. What it might mean. Maybe even miss me and my photos that you always criticized. They didn’t mean anything. I just wanted to make you wonder for a change. However, I’m done. I hate everything that ever made me love you. You said nothing would happen with this girl because you knew it would hurt me. You lied to me again. I wish I could just get in my car and drive away from all my problems like you. It’s okay though, you don’t even have a full day left with her. You’ll come back here with nothing and nobody. Life is more beautiful without you. I wanted to love you as a friend. I wanted to care about you and whether or not you’re okay. All I can do is picture you having sex with her. I can’t even call it making love, because you don’t even know her and it’s just a pitiful attempt at curing your loneliness. Even though I live so close to you, and told you I’d be here for you after you broke MY heart. My love for you was real, even if it was just the love of a friend. Yet you choose this. I’m leaving Never Never Land where you plan to stay. This place is doing me no good. I’m ready to grow up, and you won’t be the happy thought that carries me home.

-Wendy

Dear Professionals,

Maybe you’re paid to do it or maybe it comes naturally. Maybe I shouldn’t think that it’s because you’re paid to do it. I think it comes naturally as well as that listening nature of yours.

You’ve experience I feel like I can’t ever reach, not now, but “mayhaps” ever. Some of you are professionals. Others of you might as well be. I don’t understand it. I can’t see what I’m doing.

I’ve nothing to show. Not now and “mayhaps” never. It’s not giving up. It’s the low point of a tightly structured story. Maybe this low point will take up all three Acts for me, the protagonist, unclear with motivations and outbeat by the minor characters to the point in which the protagonist is simply a background object no one will see or ever see, even in the freeze frame.

The pay is rough and nonexistent. I’m not at the top of the call sheet. I don’t want to be, but being behind the camera should mean more than call sheets and notice. It all comes down to doing the job and doing it right. It is competition.

Nothing else matters. I don’t know now, low point enthusiast. Or maybe this is just the exposition. Maybe I missed the “exposition by ammunition” or maybe this is it. The screenwriter toys with me.

The underdog will go through a character arc sooner or later. As for the professionals paid to do it, but simply do it for their nature, their values, their morals, their judgements, their motives…

I’m a firm believer that kindness will never die.

Keep it cool! Don’t change.

-the minor character

Dear Cookie Pie,

You are a beautiful soul, and you deserve so much more than you tend to settle for. She was right when she told you that you can’t be perfect all the time. There’s no need to try and be perfect for everyone. They’ll love you for who you are, not what you can do for them. I hope that one day you will see how truly great you are, and that you’ll be able to accept yourself more than you do. I say this because we all love you. Every last one of us. And I’ll miss you when I leave next week.