Religion and finding my identity

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Religion is a topic that is often avoided when it starts to become relevant. Even if people identify within the same overall religion, controversial topics within that religion rise.

Christianity from my own experience has a plethora of different subtypes and opinions on different topics. Until I was 13 I identified as a Christian but didn’t really fully embrace it. My parents brought me to church every week and I figured that if my parents believed it’s true. As I aged I began to question everything. Firstly is my sexual orientation. Secondly being my gender, found it was the same as I was born with. Thirdly being my religion. I knew that other religions exist, I just couldn’t fathom having any sort of change in not being a Christian. This all began to change and transform a few months I came out as gay. People called me a heresy on occasion and other rude names which I never understood until I realized that religion played a particular role in that. Succeeding that I began to stop going to church and actually analyzed what I believed and the sensical part of the religion I was embracing my entire life. That was the very first point where I switched religions. I went from Christianity to being Agnostic.

Agnostic people typically would be religious or spiritual but they cannot due to the lack of new religions being adapted in the current day. As one, I began to somewhat form my own religion. It wasn’t completely filled to the brink with stories and rules but the basics were there. I didn’t refer to the universe as a “God” I assumed that with the sync of everything and our connections were the true god. We could become the god of our own life by simply using these connections in a proper manner. Making life meaningful. I lived happily with this “Agnostic” lifestyle for 3 years. Recently, however, I figured that my religion must have some sort of name stapled onto it by some 1800s philosopher. So like any curious teenager, I traversed to Google. As I scanned the web for something that was remotely close to what I felt I finally found it, along with a community for it. Pantheism.

While theists and atheists fight for the crown, there is a middle ground for each. Pantheism is the belief that everything is God, therefore the universe. Not all religions are correct, which is what the name implies. Pantheism is extremely complex and uses science in combination with old philosophies to create a religion. There is no reason to worship anything because at the moment you are worshipping the universe by simply being. Life is meaningful and it is vital to make use of it. Love is important. Connecting with others and developing society is extremely necessary. The afterlife is a controversial topic within the community, but being a Pantheist doesn’t have many limits. It’s more of a lifestyle choice and value-based decision rather than a religion. You can worship rocks and trees if you want. I personally do not but it always is an option. What often puts off people from joining a non-Abrahamic religion is that you are technically a Pagan. Yup, those people who did somewhat questionable activities back in the olden days. The religion that was excluded during the time of the Abrahamic religion rule that seems to be dying in liberal countries. Pagans were killed off and segregated against for their loving and open-minded actions that rejected typical religious points. Taking on this new type of religion can seem threatening at times. Threatening by the fact that others will judge you for it.

Believe me, it’s worth it to finally come to the realization despite the luggage that comes with identifying as a Pagan. Finally finding a religion that I can associate with and believe felt so satisfying. Finding a middle ground between both was a beautiful realization. This all came because I questioned authority. I questioned my lifestyle. I questioned myself. I didn’t care what others thought of me.

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