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Have you ever wanted to just TALK to someone? Anyone? I’m sure that if you’re reading this, you have some weird interest in communicating with others. There’s someone that I want to talk to. Any one of the many people in my life that once brought me happiness. Any single one of them.

I once had friends. These people were more than friends to me. They were everything at one point. And I let them walk right out of my life. Don’t worry – you’re not missing out on some big amazing falling out story. We just went separate ways in this weird world. But regardless of which paths we went down or the reasons we don’t talk anymore, I still feel a need to talk to them. I know, however, that I won’t ever talk to them again. And for this reason I feel compelled to start writing my thoughts down.

Today I just want a friend. I just want someone to talk to. Not about anything particularly important – I just want to talk about my day. I didn’t have a dramatic, eventful day. It was actually quite ordinary, but I still want to talk about it nonetheless.

The day started as usual. I woke up tired, but good. I rolled over, cracked my back, and then snuggled up to my best friend in the whole world. I’m not much of a cuddler, but I’m sometimes needy in the morning and I just need hugs to recover from the nightmares I often experience. He just looked so cute laying there. My face made its way over to his shoulder and I just hugged him. I have a habit of tracing my fingers across the skin and it woke him up. He’s super ticklish. The way he giggles is so adorable. Even with his eyes closed, he smiles and little wrinkles light up his face. I jumped out of bed before he had time to try and keep me there any longer. I slipped into my work clothes and my boots and spread on a thin layer of makeup. He filled up my water bottle and walked me to the car. I walked past the dogs and said goodbye to the rabbits. He’s so good to me that even when I leave for work, he’s the one who gives my rabbits water. It’s especially sweet because he hates those damn rabbits. We said our goodbyes and I was gone.

I’m not a morning person. At all. Rolling out of bed isn’t exactly my favorite part of the day, but damn it, I LOVE my job. I have the best co-workers ever. They’re down to earth and easy to get along with. I just couldn’t ask for a better group of people to be forced to be around. Today was a regular day at work. I met my favorite co-worker at our main office, and we drove together to another location with one of our volunteers. I genuinely value the time I spend with these women. They are too amazing and our little chats while driving are lots of fun. When we got to our destination, I had a hellish day with work. I was out of my zone and I had a few problematic students. Actually, the problem wasn’t the students. The problem is more likely that I have a hard time putting my foot down when it comes to kids misbehaving. Anyway, it was a long few hours and I was glad to get through it.

After a nice drive back to our main office, I was chatting with some of my co-workers about my wedding. I had planned on hiring one of my co-workers as our officiant and another mentioned he’d do the photography for our wedding. It was so cool. Again, I work with the most amazing people ever. I left work with this overwhelming happy feeling.

Excited as ever, I called home once I reached a point in my drive where I had a phone signal. I started to tell him that someone said they’d do our photography. He sounded less than enthusiastic to say the least. Whatever. When he hung up the phone, I could just tell that something was wrong. I drove home wondering what the hell was going on.

When I arrived back home, he greeted me with nothing but complaints and frustration. I could feel the tension from the front door. The kids are apparently too much for him to handle. I can’t say I blame him because I was a stay at home parent once too and it was SO much harder than anyone can imagine. Of course, I did it for almost three years. He’s only six months into this thing and he’s acting like the world is falling apart. Fine. Maybe it was just a bad day.

The day just got worse as time moved forward. He was scolding our eldest because he was dirty, he kept telling the kids to shut up, and whenever I would ask him if he wanted space or wanted to go outside, he’d just be a total dick. I know what it’s like to need alone time, so I left him alone and tried to keep the kids quiet and as far away from him and his bad attitude as possible.

I ended up babysitting that day for one of the families whose kids I look after. The boys brought me a keychain. I hadn’t really worked all week with them because they’d gone out of town to San Francisco and I found it really sweet that even far away, in another place, this family that has known me for only less than 6 months thought enough about me to bring me back a gift. While the keychain is quite cheesy, I think it is just the sweetest gesture and I love it. Anyway, the boys stayed over for only a few hours before they got picked up. And it was back to my regular, chill life.

Eventually, my best friend that was being a dick came and apologized for being a total jerk, but really, I just don’t want to deal with drama in the first place. It’s annoying. Whatever. So I let it go, like usual, as if he hadn’t bothered the living hell out of me for hours on end.