From an age of innocence to a time of flagrant debauchery; from finding love to losing hope, this is the life journey of a Chinese gay guy born in KL, Malaysia where he tries to make sense of his homosexuality, his life and the world around him.

15 October 2007

I hate and I love

"Maybe you are just being picky.""No, I’m not. Good guys like you are all taken.""Me, good? Most might disagree.""I don’t know, somehow I just like you, from our conversation and all.""Thank you for the compliment. But you know you can’t like me.""Yea, I know."

How do you define a good boyfriend? Top of the list would probably be loyalty. Not many people can accept infidelity yet we find that many gay men are promiscuous. In time, you’ll realize that all men has flaws. Just like the perfect man that all woman would want to marry turn out to be gay, the perfect men that all gay men wants to be attached to turn out to be attached while this perfect yet unavailable man turns out to be quite available.

There are so many qualities involved in defining a good boyfriend and different people have different requirements. Just being loyal are not enough, one require more then loyalty. Some like great looks, some crave for great body, some hunger for attention, some are inspired by intelligence, some are charmed by humor. The list go on and on. But who is perfect? If you only settle for the perfect men that meets all your requirement, you are deem to fail in all relationship. Bear in mind that while you chose, so are you chosen upon. The smart one learns to accept the flaws of their boyfriend.

But how do one learn to accept that their boyfriend is unfaithful? Well, unless you yourself practice multiple sex partners, you will never be able to accept that. It is just something that is beyond explanation because it will not make sense to you at all. You will not be able to understand all the mixed feeling involved, and they who practice it themselves probably can’t explain it too. It’s like answering the question, why are you gay? Why do you like men and not women? It’s just how things is. God? Genes? Environment? Nobody knows.