Delusional

Yesterday I just got back from a short family trip with Kieran and his mom to KL to meet their side of the family. It was a nice gathering being around nice and lovely people. Anyway, yesterday I had this sudden urge to take some photos in this white dress I bought awhile ago. I'm actually saving this dress for an upcoming wedding. Right, I was in this mood of 'white' and just thinking of some weird purity nonsense. It was a ridiculous impromptu thing that had the photos turning out ugly, obviously, but here are two shots that made the cut with some weird editing with this misty feel.

I don't know, I feel like recently I've been trying to find myself again and its just weird. I've not felt this, uh, 'lost' in a long time. I guess having this weird urge is one of the tiny steps to getting back on track with how I feel about myself. It's silly, I know, but everyone has their own way of finding themselves. Some people might think 'how can you even lose yourself in the first place?', well, I don't know but maybe I'm just in a bad state. I don't like talking about all this but sometimes is nice to have a blog to rant. My first little self portrait series was the time I kind of found this little inner passionate psycho in myself and its nice, really, to find that little spark in yourself that in a way makes you feel whole.

It was nice when I felt confident, inspired, strong and smart - I felt complete. Now, my self-esteem took a sudden drop and my confidence, it isn't doing so well. But I'm getting there, I will get back to my good and crazy state. Slowly but surely because I don't like being in this negative state. So till here, I hope you all feel 100x better than I am and hope you're all well! Nx