The Caring Heart

with Dr. Joyce

For Powerful Peacemaking, Focus on the Individual

February 2014

“Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children
of God”
(Matt. 5:9)

I have been practicing. After doing some thinking, I decided I want to
spread goodwill, friendliness, caring, cheer, and joy anywhere and
everywhere I can. So, I have been practicing getting better and better at
smiling and saying something chatty wherever I go. If a store checker has a
name tag on, I try to refer to the person by his or her name at least once.
Before leaving a transaction, I say a cheerful, enthusiastic “thanks for
serving me.” I try to make it a point to say something nice about what
someone else is doing or saying. I suppose I could say that, in a
non-intrusive, light-hearted way, I treat strangers kind of like I already
know them, and kind of like we have something in common (our humanity). So
far, I seem to get good, warm, friendly responses.

I’ve also been practicing doing more nice things for people, whenever I find
an opportunity. I’m going out of my way much more than I formerly did to
offer care and attention that is special. For example, the assistant
manager of our credit union announced to me she is moving to Seattle. Oh!
She has been such a helpful, nice gal there for quite a few years. We said
our “So longs,” and gave a little hug. Later, I thought, I wanted to do
more, so I fixed up a nice farewell greeting card for her and dropped it
off. That extra effort tells her, “Yes, you are special and will really be
missed, for sure.”

I’m getting better and more sensitive with my animals, too. Wow, they
really know a lot, and communicate a lot. I keep my attention “antennas out
there,” to notice their signs of their trying to get messages across to me.
I know that dog Shauna Lee, sleek, black, gorgeous greyhound mix, is
looking me intently in the eyes, perked up, and not wanting to go lay down
somewhere else because another dog is laying in Shauna’s place on the couch.
I understand and move the other dog. She hops up, lays down in her spot,
and is quite content. I know that quarter horse mare Belle is surely aware
of what’s going on and is fully cooperating with me when I am trying to rake
the manure out of her stall, to lay her first feeding down. She may be
hungry, but she moves “back” when I ask her to and now even gently walks out
of the stall until I am done. We work together, in harmony and
communication. Makes me smile and feel happy.

When I sit down to this
computer, cat Sparkles hops up in my lap, snuggles down, and takes a nap.
She is cozy here right now. Then, I hate to get up because I don’t want to
disturb her, and feel so flattered that she wants to be with me and close to
me.

Notice that such peace, in situations among individuals, comes through
messages being sent reciprocally, in good will, with both individuals’
well-being graciously and carefully enhanced.

When we walk our horses down the road out front, for exercise, and car
drivers move over to the other lane and slow down, I wave, smile, and mouth
“Thank you.” They smile back and wave. Consideration and warmth pass
between specific individuals, specific consciousnesses.

When an individual notices, interacts with, and successfully connects with
another individual in peace, be they human or other animal, SOMETHING
POWERFUL AND ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS HAPPENS. They can know each other, on
some level at least. They can become truly aware of one another’s
personhood, or soul. At some level, a bond is formed, even if brief, in
which interest in the other’s well-being pops into existence. The human or
other animal is no longer an abstract concept, a “thing,” or merely a member
of a species or clan or herd, he or she is a living soul, with feelings,
intelligence, likes, dislikes, all of it. And he or she can be KNOWN, by
us, and vice versa. He or she is a PERSON. Our knowing the PERSON changes
everything!! Meaning becomes transformed!

We can learn to be truly sensitive to others’ wants, needs, preferences,
mannerisms, and so forth. We feel warmth and pleasure about the
interactions and about them, and they (hopefully) feel good, too.

My point in the above is that, when humans can truly know one another, or
truly know an animal friend, they are so much more liable to experience real
compassion and empathy toward the other, and would shrink from harming the
other. Rather, if the situation called for it, they would be more liable to
adopt a hero warrior’s stance, to protect and defend. THEY BECOME ALLIES
WHO DO NO HARM.

We can, if we want to, thoughtfully increase our opportunities for spreading
peacefulness and kindness by multiplying our positive interactions with
others (of any species). We need all of us to spread the peace on this
planet of great suffering for so many. Every act of reaching out, of
kindness, reverberates throughout eternity. Every warm-hearted interaction
stands a chance of changing someone’s hard-heartedness towards other people
or the animals. One horse trainer maintains that we should be the peace our
horses seek, and the horses will always want to be with us. Animals are SO
sensitive! A couple of unfortunate times, I was overly harsh in my voice
and facial expression, in correction, to dog Shauna. She stopped abruptly,
and looked me full in the face with such a shocked, hurt expression on her
face, like she just couldn’t understand what was happening, or why. Did I
feel bad!! I thought, “Shauna, you are VERY sensitive.” I NEVER do that
anymore, I always watch carefully my tone of voice and facial expression to
match what she understands and can handle.

Getting to know our animal family and friends, and human ones too, can
deeply impact our hearts and minds, warming us up considerably if we pay
attention –changing us, and increasing the possibility that others’ hearts
will be warmer, too. I don’t think our reading about what’s going on with
huge groups has the same impact. We may feel badly about awful things
happening to hordes of people or animals, but seeing and hearing individual
sufferers right in front of us has a deeper and more profound impact. There
is something about that immediacy and closeness and awareness that can cut
us to the core. Then, we can be frantic in our caring and wanting to help,
certainly to not hurt. If we are very upset about the plight of hordes, it
is because we are conscious of the hordes being made up of sentient
individuals. In my drawer here, I have a cassette tape of a sermon given by
the preacher of a huge Colorado church, in which he explained how Jesus had
changed human life and society by making THE INDIVIDUAL important. Before
Jesus, the clan or tribe was what was important, and the individual people
were expendable. Jesus taught groups of people, such as during his Sermon
on the Mount, but he also was very attuned to the needs of individuals. He
paid attention and responded with healing and help many, many times. Also,
he spent a great deal of time in one-to-one interactions with his followers.
He was a good, solid friend.

I just read a book about Elizabeth Taylor, who had an extravagant lifestyle
with great riches. In her later years, when she saw good friend Rock Hudson
and others suffering and dying of Aids, she was stricken with so much sorrow
that she then spent years in organized efforts gathering millions of dollars
to help victims and Aids research. Individuals were the ones who made the
difference in catching her attention and strongly motivating her.

Sure, we want to help animals as much as possible, and as quickly as
possible!! But, I don’t think we will be able to help them nearly as
effectively unless we help other peoples’ hearts warm up, also. We need to
make friends, with as many humans and other animals as possible. We need
friends, too. We need to help humans get to really know animals as much as
we can, so their hearts will turn away from hurting them in any way. We
need to capitalize on opportunities as they come up, and to create
opportunities as possible, to forge positive links between souls of any
species. Can we all decide to practice these skills more than ever?
Reaching out and responding more than ever? I think, and I hope, that I
have gained more ideas and interaction skills than I had before I started
practicing. The animals need ALL of us, every day, involved the best we
can.

A response that I have heard quite a few times concerning awful things that
are happening is, “Well, I can’t do anything about it.” Huh-uh! Oh, yes,
we can! I’ve read the true stories of quadriplegic accident victims who God
uses powerfully in this world. Everybody can do something extra to bring
more peace, more good will, more kindness, more caring, more love, if we can
just examine how we spend our time, and create more ideas, and then
consistently follow up. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., said that even if we
can do just a little, we should do the little that we can do.