Queen of Presentations Prognosticates on Mobile

There are people, often called industry analysts, who do nothing but write lengthy reports about the future. These reports carry biblical significance. They provide guidance in the wilderness of today by drawing graphs into tomorrow, at least five years into tomorrow. Of course, as most anyone knows, there isn’t a person ever who has accurately predicted the future so, everything hereafter should be treated as entertainment. Yeah, I said it, no one knows anything about the future. No one!

But, Mary Meeker is different. First, her reports and presentations are sexy big and juicy. Second, she has survived the many ups and downs of being a Wall Street tool, and as is the case with the stocks she has recommended in her bulletproof career, she has reverted to the mean, making her as safe a bet as any. Thirdly, reading her reports makes anyone feel like they know more than they should. That is the beauty of her work: the simple pleasure of making us all feel better about ourselves.

Ultimately, Meeker is neither right nor wrong, but she makes us happy and her reports make grown men moist because, they make them feel powerful at cocktail parties. That’s the kind of party that no one here gets invited to, the ones with super cool business people who only deal in the bleeding edge. The kind of parties where everyone is pooh poohing today in favor of the wonders of tomorrow. According to the report below, tomorrow is all about mobile. I bet you didn’t see that coming! Hah! You must feel worthless. Read the report and juice up, dude. You can thank me later.