It’s finally here…”YEAHHH!” he screams, my first look at the new Star Wars. The teaser trailer runs 88-seconds long and here’s all you need to know: it looks frackin awesomesause. The trailer gives us a first glimpse at a lot of the new and returning stars, but it also shows just how great a job director J.J. Abrams’ appears to have done in putting back together the Star Wars universe. A great score from John Williams elevates that even further. This isn’t much for now, but it ought to get fans like me’ hopes way up…and it does.

The Force Awakens Main Credits

“There’s been an awakening. Have you felt it?”

…Trailer Analysis

Tatooine The Force Awakens

What a dark sinister opening voiceover for the new Teaser Trailer for Star Wars Episode VII The Force Awakens, as we see our first real scene lingering on the desert, which I’m presuming is Tatooine. But who was it doing the voice over…Benedict Cumberbatch or Max von Sydow? for me it sounded like Benedict…which is so bodacious on a geeky level.

John Boyega as a Stormtrooper

Then we see John Boyega, clad in a Stormtrooper outfit, looking very panicked, especially with the ominous sound of some imperial probe in the background. But who is Boyega’s unnamed character, springing from out of shot at the beginning of this 88-second teaser, and why is he wearing stormtrooper armor? Is he an Imperial deserter? Or has he pulled a Han Solo and borrowed a set of the iconic white coverings to pass as a member of the military? Script leaks have suggested the former, but that raises the question of his birth. Republic troops in Star Wars Episodes II and III were clones. But in Episode IV it suggested that had changed, and new troopers are recruited from the populace, and is Boyega’s character is one of these recruits, how did he end up on this desert planet that’s probably Tatooine? Are the new stormtroopers in the shuttle shown in the other shot chasing him? …so many questions

New Star Wars Ball Droid

And checkout the cute new little rolling astromech Ball Droid, or Football Droid as it’s been named on the NET. All I can say is…that’s something every kid will want next Christmas, and definitely something LucasFilm Merchandising will be glad of its addition…A Star Wars Football maybe?…keerching…££$€¥

New Star Wars Football Droid

Daisy Ridley Tatooine

Then we see that chunky speederbike, driven by The Force Awakens new star Daisy Ridley, which looks closer in appearance to a flipped landspeeder, but it has quite an industrial Tug/Loader look to it. And what about Ridley, who looks to be playing a Skywalker-esque figure called Kira, trapped on a desert planet and yearning for excitement and adventure, which it looks like she’s just found with the way she looks and her hastened departure towards the Ralph McQuarrie designed desert town.

Daisy Ridley’s New Speederbike

Daisy Ridley on her Speederbike

Daisy Ridley on her Speederbike

Daisy Ridley on her Speederbike

Stormtroopers!!?

New Stormtroppers

How do stormtroopers still exist? The end of Return of the Jedi a montage of the ‘New’ celebratory shots signaling the apparent end of the Empire. After the emperor’s death at the hands of angry daddy Darth Vader, are stormtroopers still Imperial stormtroopers? Have they been co-opted into a new government’s military structure? If so, why did they not change their super-evil hats? You’d think those would be the first things to go with a regime change. Perhaps some remnant of the Empire clings on, and that the Rebel Alliance’s victory in the Endor system was not as absolute as they would have had us believe… Yet again, so many questions.

New Stormtroppers

New Stormtrooper Gun

Lets hope these troopers are better shot than the previous ones 😉

X-Wings

X Wing Pilot Oscar Isaac

Oscar Isaac at the helm of an X-Wing, callsign unknown, but I bet its a Red Squadron.

X Wings AttackX Wings Attack

My next question is compounded by the Rebel logo still plastered on the X-Wing pilots’ helmets. This shows that the Rebel Alliance is still a going concern some 30 years after the destruction of the second Death Star, with battles to fight that require the deployment of starfighters — starfighters, it should be noted, that are three decades old. Why is the organization that unseated the Empire flying around in aging tin cans? And why can’t its pilots afford new helmets?

The New Lightsabre

Here we get our first glimpse at what appears to be the Sith Lord villain of the piece. Considering the height of the man carrying it — the long limbs and notable stoop could show that this is actor Adam Driver, that’s what the Smart money is suggesting, as he angrily stumbles through that snowy forest. But who is he looking for? Or what? And now let’s talk about the new ‘Star Wars’ lightsaber

“An elegant weapon for a more civilized age”

That’s presumably a Sith wielding a distinctive (and already much-mocked) lightsaber. The black robes and red saber color give the game away, but note also the length of the hilt. It’s long enough for the wielder to grip with two hands, giving them the powerful swinging style used by Darth Vader. As that new lightsaber ignites it’s big, sort of flickers in a flame sort of way, and it has a crossbar.

Some on Twitter have taken to calling it a laser claymore.

Immediately, speculation began on twitter and the net about the possible wisdom or stupidity of this design. On one side, there are saying this is terrible design, and will cut your hand off, To which the other side responded: It solves a big lightsaber design problem, which is blades sliding down and cutting your hand off, like Anakin did to Count Dooku in Revenge of the Sith… You can’t win

The best explanation I’ve heard points out that the crossbar beams look unfocused and that maybe this guy is an old Sith “reawakened,” and that he has an early model lightsaber, which points to whether is could be Max von Sydow….More flaming questions!!

TIE fighters & The Falcon

Tie Fighters attacks the Falcon on Tatooine

Remember the dish that was knocked off the Millennium Falcon in Return of the Jedi? It’s still missing here, replaced by a rectangular box, which some leaked ‘GIF’ footage showed, although it wasn’t the scene we thought it would be in the trailer, which makes me think it was fake.

Tie Fighters attacks the Falcon

I’ve got to say, the Millennium Falcon really does bust some stomach-churning moves to escape from TIE fighters over the surface of a desert planet that’s probably Tatooine.

I especially like it when the Falcon goes vertical… you can almost hear Han Solo shouting ‘Well, we can still outmaneuver them’

Falcon Goes Vertical

Star Wars December 2015

While this is only a short glimpse at The Force Awakens, this is the first look that we’ve all gotten, Disney has been incredibly secretive about the production of Episode VII, but it’s also for a much simpler reason: the movie still isn’t done. Filming wrapped on Thursday the, 6th of November 2014, but the movie is still a long way from completion. That’ll be especially true for its special-effects shots, which are likely far from complete at this point, and hopefully been done at the new Industrial Light & Magic Studio in London .

I think this teaser is more about getting us fans excited and putting Star Wars back on everyone’s geek radar, which it certainly does. There’s a lot more to see, the Main Trailer, International Trailer — and we certainly will in time — but there’s still a long long ways to go before the film comes out next year on December 18th… Anyone got a DeLorean? 🙂