CHAPTER 4“The Bitch is Back” (The Monkey-Boy)
And in the midst of an ancient forest, the Gods of Hondo and their companions didst come upon the Monkey Man. Only in this when, he was but a creepy little Monkey-Boy. And he was levitating whilst he was masturbating in front of a stone monument in the midst of an ancient circle of stones.

And they didst turn their attention to the monument they now stood before, for he and Nori didst recognize it.

‘Holy shit!’ quoth Nori. ‘ ’Tis where thou picked up the HellRazor!’

‘Aye,’ quoth Scoot, ‘for recognizeth the inscription I do. Klaatu… Barada… Hey! In this when, it even sayeth the last part! Nikto, huh? Now why didst I not think of that?’

‘Getteth me started, do not…’ quoth Nori.

‘But missing is the HellRazor,’ quoth I Am Road Runner, ‘yet this is where ye got it?…’

‘In mine vision,’ quoth the Monkey-Boy, ‘I didst see a mighty warrior setteth the HellRazor in that stone.’

‘I see…’ spake the God of Physical Phatness.

‘Ah,’ quoth Scoot, and he didst thrust the HellRazor into the stone, saying, ‘Served its purpose, the Might of Old hath. Now rest it must, until it is needed again…’

And so Scoot didst don his shades, and the God of Neuralizers didst neuralize the Monkey-Boy. And Nori and Loki and the others didst close their eyes.

‘The people which thou hast seen do not existeth,’ spake the God of Neuralizers. ‘Figments of thine imagination they art. Ate of the wrong ’shrooms and had a bad trip, ye did. When gone art we, nothing shalt thou remember, save this command: thou’rt to spend the rest of thy life seeking Scoot the Ko’An, that thou may leadeth him here.’

‘Aye,’ quoth the Monkey-Boy.

‘There, now settled is that—’

‘Who art thou?’ spake the God of Stupidity (for he had forgotten to closeth his eyes), ‘Who am I?’

‘Well shit,’ spake the God of Neuralizers.

And so the God of Neuralizers didst spend the next few weeks telling the God of Odnoh his life story before they didst resume their journey.

But as they didst set forth once again for the Outhouse, they didst come upon another traveler down the way.

‘Look!’ cried be81827, ‘ ’Tis the Super Squirrel!’

‘Damn!’ cried Offchick, ‘Looketh really pissed, he doth!’

And the Super Squirrel didst power up and transform into a Level 3 Super Squirrel. And his bushy little tail didst get completely out of control.

‘Ay Commala!’ cried Loki. ‘How long didst he spend in the Hypersquirlic Time Chamber this time?…’

‘Shit!’ quoth Scoot, ‘Wish now, I had not relinquished the HellRazor… But accepteth his challenge, I shalt.’ And he didst throw down his weighted training denim, powering up and saying unto the SSQ3, ‘Fuck the bullshit! ’Tis time to throw down!’

And it came to pass that the SSQ3 didst kick Scoot’s ass with great kung-fu action.

‘Ow…’ quoth Scoot. ‘Little help, Loki…’

And Loki Amaya didst join the battle.

‘FU… SION… HAA!…’ cried they in unison.

And Scoot the Ko’An and Loki Amaya didst fuseth and become Scooti Amaya. And Scooti Amaya didst power up and take the fight back to the SSQ3, and this time it was an even match.