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What kind of mobile phone do I use on a day-to-day basis? I use what street thugs in Baltimore call a burner: A disposable cheap phone that costs me next to nothing to own and use. I've given up trying to have the coolest and newest phone while spending a fortune to use it. I'm sick of being ripped off by the entire mobile-phone game. And I'm disgusted to see people talking on these things constantly, especially while driving. Shut up, for God's sake, and watch the road.

So that's one reason why I'm sour on the Apple iPhone. I'm not looking forward to seeing another round of "phone fashion" when I am already disgusted by it.

Then there is the iPod thing. Hey, I toyed with the earliest MP3 players and eventually got bored with having to listen to that much music. Exactly what is the point of being all pumped up and bopping to the beat while sitting on your duff anyway? But now I'm beginning to sound like a old coot. And these are just the petty grievances. It's the trends that concern me.

Let's get back to my dream machine of a few years ago. It's not a possibility, since devices cannot be totally consolidated no matter how hard people try. I have personally given up on the idea. The iPhone is really a dream of consolidation. In other words, it's wishful thinking. It won't be more than a passing fad as a fashion accessory, and it will never cut it as an iPod replacement or a phone. Yeah, you'll be the coolest person in the room when you pull one out and show it around, but that gets old fast when three other people have them and one person somehow has one that glows in the dark.

Yes, I've soured on the device, sight unseen, because it represents an unachievable goal, a utopian ideal. The forces of never-ending fragmentation are too strong for anything to defeat them. The evidence that nobody wants to acknowledge is all the failed smartphones that have come and gone. And let's not forget the Motorola phone that incorporated an iPod (remember the ROKR?). What a flop!

Any sort of device consolidation, like what the iPhone possibly promises, is a pipe dream and runs counter to real and immutable trends. The problem is, nobody wants to admit that these trends existyet they do.

John Dvorak is a columnist for PCMag.com and the host of the weekly TV video podcast CrankyGeeks. His work is licensed around the world. Previously a columnist for Forbes, Forbes Digital, PC World, Barrons, MacUser, PC/Computing, Smart Business and other magazines and newspapers. Former editor and consulting editor for Infoworld. Has appeared in the New York Times, LA Times, Philadelphia Enquirer, SF Examiner, Vancouver Sun. Was on the start-up team for CNet TV as well as ZDTV. At ZDTV (and TechTV) was host of Silicon...
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