Monday, June 06, 2016

Toro's final days, RIP on 6/6/2016

I came back from Taiwan on Friday 6/3/2016 at 4pm. Pei-Sun has already left the country. I went straight to the schools to pick up the kids. I came home and Winston was meowing to welcome me home. I went to the garage where Toro is and saw him sitting in the garage waiting for me. I think she came out from her bed and walked towards the door. I pat her for a bit, then proceeded to serve dinner to the kids and showered them, and did the usual bedtime routine. After that's all done, I came to attend to Toro.

I could feel that Toro was very happy to see me. I think she was so happy that tears were coming out of her. I gave her regular routine of IV. Then I cleaned her up real good since she always like to be clean. With her incontinence, it is hard for her to stay clean. So I used wet cloth to wipe her down. She is rather weak by now, so she sometimes tripped over the litter box. So I cleaned the litters and crystals off her faces and hands.

She seemed rather content after that. Purrs rather softly by now when I pat her... Even after the ivy treatment, she has no appetite to eat. I gave her a food stimulant, hoping that she would eat a bit.

The next day 6/4 Sat. We had a party since Ken is in town from Australia. Had lots of friends and kids over, quite a busy day with so many guests. Jocelyn and family and Lynn and family stayed later to help with cleaning up. Lynn bought us dinner from Thaispoon. After they left, I put the kids to bed and then once again attended to Toro. I thought Toro was doing better on Saturday. You can tell from that she is holding her head up. It's a sign of some strength.

On Sunday 6/5, we had our normal Sunday low-key routine. Later Jocelyn invited us to go over for dinner, so we did. When I came home at night, I saw Toro lying in the garage behind the ice box. I thought Toro has passed away, so I went up to her, looks like she is still breathing. So I quickly put kids to bed then attended to her.

After that, it is quite emotional for me. Basically via chats and whatsapp, I started letting people who knew Toro that I think this is could be it. I debated for a long time whether I should give her IV. I thought I spare her a needle on her last night. Toro was extremely weak that night. She cannot even hold herself up. I decided to take out Toro's towel that we used to bring her from the humane society to our house. I put the towel underneath so that she felt safe and comfortable. I held her hands, it's cold. So I put another towel over her. Then Pei-Sun called back from Malaysia. She also hangout with Toro on video conference. I think Toro knows. She seems contented. After some discussion, we decided to give her IV anyway. So I administered that. I told her to try to wait for Pei Sun to come back on Thurs. Deep under I really don't think that would happen.

I gave her usual rub on her neck. I knew she liked it. But the purring is much softer, not sure if I really heard anything.

A little bit after IV is being administered, I think she felt more energy. Her muscles are moving more, I think she is trying to move. That's when I held her hands again. And she gave me the last cat massage. I can feel her love. So it was a good thing we gave her IV, but I am still not that optimistic.

So I decided to keep her company for a bit. So ended up staying up and keeping her company until 2am. I guess it is time for me to sleep to not further mess up my jet lag and I need to be ready for kids school tomorrow + I have to present to a conference the next morning. So I said good night to her and hang up with Pei-Sun.

On Monday 6/6, Winston woke me up. It was 7am. I came out to check her out. Toro was still in the same pose as last night. Her head is leaning backwards. But her mouth was opened wider. I saw her catching her last few breadth. I pat her head, gave her some neck rub. A minute later, she breathed her last breadth and passed away peacefully.

I would never know for sure. Perhaps Winston knew, so he woke me up to let me know. Or perhaps she was waiting for me to say final good bye. Toro has been very loyal and loving to us, I think she was just waiting to see me for the last time. After that, she was happy to let go.

Kids woke up after that. I had to explain circle of life to Wei Yang. He understood since they taught him in school. So I asked both of them to say good bye to Toro. Wei Yang, pat Toro. I think Weiling is a little afraid, she didn't pat her at the end.

Then I do my normal routine getting them to school and went to work. I came home after lunch to take care of Toro. I took her picture, she looks peacefully asleep. I am doing ok at the moment. Perhaps because I was mentally prepared since last night. I gave her a good wipe down and final cleaning, after that, I think she would be happy.

I took a picture of her white paw. She always liked to put one over the other.

Then I took our her adoption paperwork. Snuggly Wuggly was her name before. She has lost a lot of weight, so the face was skinnier by now.

Then I took her out to the backyard, give her sometime under the sun. She always liked that when she was alive. But then it usually gets too hot with her black coat. She will move to a shady spot. So check out her burial site which will get some sun, but also shady most of the time. So I buried her under the sequoia tree.

Her fur was still so soft at this moment. I am all fine until I put her down and ready to cover her. I took my time to say good bye, took a break in between, then buried her.

Rest in peace Toro, you have always been part of our family and your spirit and soul will always be with us. We all love you and miss you very much!