on my way home from exchanging my groceries at star market (they accidently gave me somebody else's bags), i saw a police cruiser hiding on a street corner so i immediately slowed so i could match the speed limit, glancing nervously into the rear-view mirror to see if i was followed. snap! never underestimating the power of denial, i thought to myself, "okay, no way could he be following me...if he was he'd have his lights...on...OH NO!" as the lights on the cruiser directly behind me started flashing. so i parked, rolled down the window, and shut off the engine, waiting for the inevitable. i've been driving for over 10+ years now, and i have never gotten a speeding ticket. not that i don't deserve one. i *always* drive above the speed limit. it was just a matter of time i think before i got caught. so that's what i was thinking today. finally! they got me! i was actually sort of relieved, not nervous at all, calmly accepting my fate, thankful for the opportunity to atone for my past motor vehicle sins. the officer came to the window -- a young, clean-cut, rather attractive policeman (probably a rookie) -- none of the menacing strong-arm-of-the-law routine i was expecting. he said with unexpected friendliness: "oh no, I think you're all set, I just thought your registration sticker was expired, but it seems to be okay. no problem, you're all set." then he went back to his patrol car. that's it?! i couldn't believe! i drove back the rest of the way home feeling like the luckiest person in the world, like somehow i escaped from the clutches of a fate worse than death. did i learn my lesson, will i drive slower now? yeah, probably, for a while, but bad habits like these are hard to break, and i'll probably be speeding again in no time.