Monday, October 29, 2007

Me & My Boy

Dear Camden,My heart breaks when you don't feel well. I try to do everything I can to make you feel better, but mostly you want to nap. I hate daycare because you always get sick. Usually when things are going great at my job, I don't mind sending you to daycare. It is easy to rationalize in my head why it's "good" for you to be sociable.... but when things are particularly rough for me, it's very hard to send to you to school each day, knowing that by the time we pay daycare and for my gas to and from work, I'm really working for hardly nothing-- teachers don't make that much, you see... so it hardly seems worth it.

But then, after a spout of sadness and "cuteness" while you are sick, you almost always nap, giving me a few moments to myself... and when you wake up, you are a holy terror. Ready to romp and run and jump and scream and play. And I stare at you in all your glory and wonder -- why the hell did daycare call me today? They could have just given you a nap and you would have been fine.... put you in the quiet room for about three hours, and you'd wake up and run and jump and play like you were training for arena football. Strong and tough, loud and joyous.

And then your daddy comes home and you turn into a totally different child.... a whiny ball of snot is what you are -- and he tries to get you to calm down, and you cry when he walks out of the room, and you play with your food just to make him mad, and you scream and cry in the bathtub-- all for your daddy.

And I love you for it. You are the perfect child... one that will get sick on the EXACT days that I am having a hard day at work and need to leave... and then you'll come home and take a long nap... and then wake up and run around like you are fine, only to come down from your high just as your daddy is getting home, and you go into that whiney-no-one-can-make-me-happy-state. Yes. Jussst Perrrrrfect.

1 comment:

I love that you've documented this day and thought on your blog. They grow up so very fast. My firstborn son is heading off to college next year. I can't believe it. I wish I could turn back the clock.