The Real Story: My rise & fall through it all: my struggles with finding happiness and love while fumbling through depression. Finding success, wealth, and notoriety while encountering equal, if not greater, failures and errors in judgement. Then finding myself somehow discovering and recapturing love and other things I had lost along the way. And in all of this, I have now realized what I sacrificed and those I hurt by paying the ultimate price; the Dao of Chris.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

An Incredibly Stupid Question

After
arriving at work earlier this morning, one of my colleagues made the
observation that not only did I look unhappy but I looked as if life had passed
me by. I wasn't all that surprised. After all, I was quite unhappy. I bit my
tongue and repressed the urge to say that, not only had life passed me by, but
I believe it paused along the way and spit in my face. I suspect they
could read the subtext…

You can
argue that it is impossible to stay in any relationship very long without
concealing what you really think. Being in love means not actually saying what’s
on your mind. Despite the plethora of “RomCom” (situation romantic comedies
or love story) movies that inundate our theaters, I find that real life is
hardly akin to what is portrayed on the silver screen. Falling in love or
finding romance is something that most adults have experienced in their lives.
The theme is universal and encourages the moviegoer to make a number of
unhealthy comparisons. It ultimately leads to the question: Why can’t our love be like that? Perhaps this is a
box best left unopened.

I've noticed
that Hollywood rarely makes any films about long-term couples. Things change
once you've been together for five years…or more. We've become the boring or
predictable sequel to the original film, which no one in their right mind would
pay good money to see. Despite this, I venture onward. You may call me
unimaginative, but I cannot see myself being with anyone else. On our worst
days, I figure things will work themselves out. Otherwise, I try not to think
about it much. It doesn't do me any good anyway. What more could she want?It was an incredibly
stupid question. Hollywood characters might chase one another down in some
quasi-romantic fashion or perhaps follow each other in some seemingly futile
transcontinental voyage that somehow ends in a hopelessly-romantic, grandiose,
and over-the-top happy ending where the boy gets the girl or vice versa.
However, real love equates to withholding the truth… even when you are offered
the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. I wish that I had said
something to that end at the time… but I did not. I wish this was a box that I
could unopen, re-wrap, and place quietly under the tree for another year.