Prospectus Hit List for April 11

Hit List for April 9
Hit List for April 14Hit List updates are published Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, starting April 2, 2014. Data presented here is based on games through the day prior to publication.Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

4

8

4.1

4.3

4.5

.416

.397

1.9%

8.7%

10.6%

2.3%

-0.3%

How tough a time is the Arizona pitching staff having? The cover of their monthly magazine features the Dodgers.

2

3

6

4.1

4.4

4.5

.449

.429

2.1%

3.1%

5.2%

-0.3%

-3.1%

The Cubs’ second pitcher last night was Brian Schlitter who gave up three runs in two-thirds of an inning, putting his team firmly in the Schlitter.

3

3

6

2.5

3.3

3.3

.420

.400

4.5%

13.7%

18.2%

0.0%

-6.6%

The Padres have led for a total of 10 1/3 innings this season so, no, it doesn’t just feel like it.

4

3

6

3.5

3.6

3.7

.428

.409

5.1%

6.9%

12.1%

-3.3%

-4.4%

Try the new board game, Ben Revere: Home Run Hitter. You are Ben Revere. Roll two six-sided dice to see if you homered. If you get two sevens, you homered!

5

4

6

4.4

4.6

4.6

.493

.513

25.3%

23.0%

48.3%

0.0%

-14.2%

Ten games into the season and the biggest health-related concern for Grady Sizemore is if his eyes will pop out due to an overly intense stare from the dugout.

6

4

6

2.9

3.0

2.8

.364

.383

0.4%

0.7%

1.1%

0.3%

-0.6%

The Astros have given up 25 runs, tied for fourth-least in baseball which is pretty good wait that’s just their bullpen never mind.

7

3

6

4.0

5.2

4.8

.488

.468

12.4%

11.9%

24.3%

1.4%

-7.2%

On Wednesday, Billy Hamilton tagged up and scored on a pop up to deep second base. He also stole two bases on Yadier Molina, one without a throw. No joke here, just genuine amazement.

8

3

6

3.4

3.2

3.4

.403

.422

2.4%

2.2%

4.5%

-1.2%

-2.2%

Twins starting pitching is the baseball equivalent of the medieval medical technique of bleeding. It was supposed to help you, but really it just made you die quicker.

9

4

5

3.5

3.3

3.1

.445

.465

15.6%

13.9%

29.4%

-0.2%

-3.0%

If you counted, I’m guessing the sheer number of Yu/you jokes would make Yu/you sick.

10

5

5

4.2

4.8

4.4

.490

.510

17.7%

18.7%

36.4%

4.1%

3.7%

The strange substance on Michael Pineda’s hand during last night’s game was pine duh.

11

4

5

4.6

4.0

4.0

.501

.521

31.2%

22.9%

54.1%

-0.3%

3.2%

Josh Hamilton will be out about eight weeks after thumb surgery, so if nobody better presents himself, they should consider replacing him with Hole In Lineup. They've done worse before, and spent more on it.

12

4

5

4.0

2.8

3.0

.424

.404

4.5%

6.4%

10.9%

1.1%

1.7%

Listen, Mets, I work hard to make this list interesting and funny, and I depend on you for a little help, so if you could possibly lose hilariously every alternate Thursday, I’d appreciate it.

13

5

5

5.7

5.9

6.2

.501

.481

1.6%

2.8%

4.4%

-1.0%

-0.6%

Last night every Marlin in the starting lineup struck out at least once, with six striking out twice or more. Striking out a lot and then losing sounds like a typical night out in Miami for me too.

14

5

5

5.9

6.1

6.1

.568

.587

39.8%

20.3%

60.1%

-4.3%

-3.6%

Hopefully Matt Moore’s impending Tommy John surgery has showed the Rays the folly of attempting to employ alliteratively named pitchers.

15

4

5

4.4

3.3

3.4

.450

.470

5.7%

8.5%

14.2%

1.8%

1.4%

In later years it will be revealed that Nelson Cruz played his entire career with contact lenses that had little pictures of bumper cars in them.

16

5

5

4.5

4.3

4.2

.479

.499

11.5%

13.3%

24.7%

-5.0%

-0.7%

This season R.A. Dickey’s performances have bounced all over the place. It’s like even he doesn’t know what will happen.

17

5

5

5.2

5.9

5.7

.515

.495

4.6%

13.2%

17.7%

1.7%

3.1%

The Rockies have two of 12 remaining .400-hitting players, are first in team batting average, and second in runs scored. Evidence that the ridiculousness of a batting average is highly correlated with run scored.

18

5

5

4.6

4.1

4.0

.462

.482

13.7%

9.1%

22.8%

-1.3%

-4.4%

Carlos Santana at third base update: the .125 hitting Mike Aviles played third on Wednesday while Santana played DH. No errors for Santana though!

19

5

5

5.5

5.8

5.9

.514

.534

11.2%

8.6%

19.8%

5.5%

2.5%

Jose Abreu has four homers, two each in two separate games. [makes mountain of mashed potatoes with fork] This means something!

20

5

4

3.9

3.1

3.3

.484

.464

45.5%

14.6%

60.1%

-1.3%

-3.4%

The Cardinals are the spider on my ceiling. They’re just waiting to drop onto my head and cause me to scream and trip over the coffee table… baseball!

21

6

4

5.9

5.0

4.8

.542

.522

25.6%

32.5%

58.2%

-7.4%

0.2%

Tim Lincecum’s last start was solid in the sense that it was not a liquid.

22

5

4

4.7

6.0

6.2

.555

.535

19.2%

21.0%

40.2%

-0.3%

-0.5%

Complaining about B.J. Upton’s lack of walks is like complaining that your knee is scraped after you fell down an abandoned mine shaft.

23

4

4

4.3

4.6

5.0

.523

.542

14.5%

9.9%

24.4%

0.1%

5.1%

The Royals finally hit their first home run, the last team to do so. That was two days ago so they have to ask, would it kill you to send a card?

24

6

4

5.2

5.9

5.7

.579

.559

63.5%

21.8%

85.3%

1.0%

-4.4%

They’re 6-4, but just imagine where the Dodgers would be if Yasiel Puig hadn’t already cost them 12 games (one loss per minute late).

25

6

3

5.3

5.0

4.9

.540

.520

15.0%

13.4%

28.4%

3.1%

6.9%

Pedro Alvarez has eight hits in 35 at-bats. Five of them are home runs. Yesterday his wife kissed him goodbye and he was like, nah, don’t bother.

26

5

3

5.8

5.7

5.6

.594

.613

18.4%

17.5%

35.9%

-2.8%

-0.9%

The Mariners are 1-2 when Charlie Furbush pitches because baseball is hard enough without laughing.

27

6

3

6.4

6.3

6.3

.608

.627

34.4%

20.5%

54.9%

3.6%

10.4%

If the A’s did move to Portland, Oregon the chances their ballpark contained copious free-flowing sewage would be lessened because they wouldn’t have a ballpark.

28

7

2

6.9

7.0

7.0

.634

.615

25.0%

18.6%

43.6%

1.1%

17.1%

Carlos Gomez is hitting .390/.432/.732. There really was a time when every great hitter was terrible with the Twins, wasn’t there?

29

5

2

4.3

4.5

4.5

.591

.610

58.2%

11.0%

69.2%

-0.3%

3.5%

AHHHHH What? Whew! The Tigers just had this crazy dream they gave Miguel Cabrera $300 million ha ha that’s ridiculous do you have any warm milk?

30

7

2

6.8

5.8

6.0

.630

.611

69.5%

11.3%

80.9%

1.9%

1.5%

Stephen Strasburg struck out 12 Marlins in 6 2/3 innings and still managed to finish fourth on his team in K/9 for the day.