Your Dekalb Farmer’s Market Wants to See Other People

I know this may come as a shock, but I need a break. For too long I feel like I’ve been waiting for you to truly commit to me. No, to us. But that commitment never happened. I feel like every time you would enter me, you were in a hurry, like there was somewhere else you wanted to be. Or worse, there was someone else you wanted to be with. You think I didn’t notice the Trader Joe’s bags you brought in last Sunday? How could you?

I don’t know where things went wrong. It used to be so good, didn’t it? Do you even remember the fun we had? Grinding peanut butter? Picking out a fish to have filleted? Eating a green bean right from the bin? Did none of this matter to you? Apparently not.

I deserve better. In fact, for the last few months, I’ve pushing away an eager young suitor from Buckhead, telling him I was involved. Well guess what Trevor? I’ve decided to open an express check-out for him. Did I mention he is from Buckhead? That’s right. M-O-N-E-Y! I bet HE won’t bounce a check! Oh, I know I told you it happens to everyone. I only told you that to make you feel better. It doesn’t happen to everyone. Only to self-absorbed jerks who have TINY LITTLE CHECKING ACCOUNTS! Carl from Buckhead has a BIG portfolio. Deal with it.

Editor In Chief, Founder, and Admiral of Smugness at The Atlanta Banana, Jim Hodgson has an ass for news. Follow him on twitter at @jimhodgson
He is the author of the hilarious Science Fiction novel Dangerous Dan, available now on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback.