“Mister Jiggs looks like some of the young people who protest outside.”

“DONTCHOO GET ME STARTED ON THEM DINGDANG HIPPIES, NIX! WEARIN’ BLUE JEANS LIKE SATAN WORSHIPPERS!”

“That is Agnew’s belief. That, uh, all the young people are in thrall to the evil one.”

“AH SENSE HIS TRICKERY IN TH’ SIDEBURNS OF TH’ YOUTH!”

“They yell and scream outside the White House. I watch them sometimes, Elvis, and I see a darkness in them. Their eyes, King. Blacker than Roberto Clemente.”

“THASS ONE DARKLY-COMPLECTED OUTFIELDER.”

“The girls, the young women, they neglect themselves. Unshaven legs with no stockings. Makeup slapdash, if at all. Some of them do not wear, uh, the proper undergarments. Brassieres, I mean. There is a great deal of movement. To and fro, bouncing, that sort of thing. I blame the parents.”

“AH BLAME TH’ BEATLES.”

“Yes. Them, too. Elvis, Mister Jiggs is still making love to Churchill’s head.”

“JIGGS, DAMN YOU! AH TOL’ YOU TO MAKE YOUR LOVE BEFORE WE CAME TO TH’ WHITE HOUSE!”