December 12, 2015

Time for the Five Strip – er, Two-Minute Drill

Remember football? Remember actual action? I don’t think Whigrub actually did until the syndicate reminded them they had a week to wrap up this nonsense. Now Dor(k)y Darwin has atoned, True Standish is magically ready to play again, and it’s all sunshine. lollipops and rainbows on the Milford sidelines. Time to run over Valley Tech, whose loudmouthed fathead of a coach has kept his trap shut this season.

Despite that stupid grin on his face, True’s looking really rusty. Check out that follow-through; did he just flick it electric football style? How else would it have ended up a foot in front of his face without some lineman swatting it back at him? No mind; by late in the half he’s firing sourdough boules to Jarrod.

Hurry up! Hoops are a-comin! Let’s wrap this puppy up, forget about the playdowns, and send Holly, Alan, Grady & co. back to Cali with their tails between their legs.

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Fool that I am, I had imagined the denouement of this “reality show” nonsense would involve prosecutions, but I have an awful feeling it will just fade away now that Gil has shamed Holly. I doubt we will even find out if she is going to finish the year in Mfnrd, and am pretty sure we will not get to see Dr Pearl kneeing the pimp producer in the balls. A football story would have been so much more satisfying, and so much less likely to make us pinch ourselves to be sure we had not been somehow transported to Alpha Centauri.

I know it’s the goalpost, but I prefer to think that Max is celebrating next to a water heater tank. 34-7 at the half, huh? Gil must be feeling pretty frisky after giving those showbiz types the what for. How much do you want to bet he slipped the cameraman $50 to get his own private copy of the tape to show Mimi?

I’m curious about the playdown picture. Billy will keep us up to date, but I am wondering if Mfnrd has played enough games to be eligible. I only remember three or four. We are used to unresolved plots and undeveloped characters, but usually they are more interesting than the exploits of Holly Wood and Perry the Pimp.