I was so fearful for them, so distraught they had parents who were divorced, so devastated we were now that family.

It wasn't what we had expected or chosen, and I suspect deep down I felt I was to blame somehow. So, like I said, I sub-consciously decided I would blind them with love, and I carried through on that decision.

My kids have been loved, and hard, by me and their dad too. Now, a full decade after their father and I separated, I am on the brink.

You see, loving your kids stupid does not leave anything for you.

Loving your kids so hard that you pick them up, take them to school, cook for them, buy them pets, clothes, toys, trips, support, laughs, cuddling, coddling is glorious, but it is also truly exhausting. In fact, it is debilitating.

"One day I woke up and realised I could not keep this crazy love going." (Instagram)

It leaves you with nothing, but you keep doing it because they are your kids and they need your love, then one day you wake up and the world looks bleak and sad.

At least, this is what happened to me. One day I woke up and realised I could not keep this crazy love going, or it would be the death of me.

I had run myself ragged trying to love my children safe and happy, and in doing so, I had made myself miserable.

I was depressed and anxious, overweight and sad. I looked bad, I felt awful and even worse, I could see I had done my kids no favours either.

"I cannot buffer them from everything bad in the world." (Instagram)

They were, and are, beautiful human beings. They are generous and kind and compassionate. But they likely always would have been, because they came into the world their own people, and good ones at that.

More importantly, I cannot buffer them from everything bad in the world, and in trying to do so I left myself sad and depleted.

That meant they suddenly had a mother who was not there for them at all. A mother who laid in bed for hours and was emotionally somewhere else pretty much all of the time.

It was at that point I made a conscious decision to love them a little less, and to love me a little more.

"I know this will make my life a more enjoyable one - and the life of my kids too." (Instagram)

The old adage is true: happy mum, happy kids etc. It sounds naff and I am little mortified to write those words, but they do ring true - and not just for me.

Mothers — and dads too — must take time for themselves. We all need to love ourselves more and, I know it sounds counter-intuitive, our kids less.

Only that way will we teach our offspring that self-care matters. That loving and caring for ourselves is what will keep us mentally healthy and truly happy in the long run.

Is it easy? Not at all. Am I committed to doing it, though? Damn straight. And best of all, I know this will make my life a more enjoyable one - and the life of my kids too.