Category Archives: Minor Leagues

It wasn’t until after he bought all the gear that someone told Alex Meyer that getting two people out doesn’t constitute a “perfect game.” He was disappointed.

Alex Meyer, considered by some to be the Nationals top pitching prospect was their lone representative in Sunday’s All-Star Futures Game in Kansas City. Meyer pitched 2/3 of a high leverage inning in a 17-5 game, which was surely indicative of how he will perform in similarly pressure-packed situations in the big leagues. Sure, he only threw six pitches, but I’m convinced. What an amazing six pitches they were. Every pitch he ever throws will be as effective as those six pitches. I can just feel it.

I know I’m not supposed to put stock in small sample sizes, or even miniscule sample sizes, but I can’t help myself. It’s an addiction. A disease, really. As I’m typing this, I just invested my life’s savings in the stock market because I just saw it go up a point. Won’t it keep going up forever? It totally will. It was a little cooler today than yesterday, does that mean global warming is over? Yes. Definitely.

Oops, gotta go, I’m late for my Small Sample Size Believers Anonymous meeting. I know that’ll help because some guy on the street yesterday told me it really worked for him.

A strange thing happened in Syracuse tonight. John Lannan took the mound, and promptly threw a ball. The next pitch, a single. The next pitch, a single. The next pitch, a single. And the fifth pitch. Well. Nope.

Erik Kratz took Lannan deep for a grand slam on just the 5th pitch of the game. Grand things seem to happen to Lannan very quickly. Slams. Demotions. I’ll assume his toenails fall off much earlier than they’re supposed to as well.

I would imagine nobody is wearing a Lannan Chiefs jersey anymore. Probably the fabric breaks down much earlier than people hoped it to.

Potomac Nats promotional days have been a hit since "Fielders use bats instead of gloves day."

If you were watching the MASN broadcast of the Nationals game just now, you heard Bob Carpenter and F.P. Santangelo talk about upcoming Potomac Nationals promotions. They mentioned the actual not a joke Titanic Sunday promotion that they’re having this upcoming weekend. What are the specifics of the promotion? Well, women and children get in 15 minutes early, and an “iceberg giveaway.” Thank goodness for good taste.

F.P. went on to say some more Potomac promotional days which I can safely say (while lying) are also real promotional days coming up. Now he only said the promotions’ names, but didn’t say what they involved. So let’s predict what F.P.’s promotional suggestions would entail.

Hindenburg Monday: Come out to the ballpark to see the Goodyear Blimp in action! Note: the blimp will not be there for the whole game.

Poseidon Tuesday: Upon entering the parking lot your car will be flipped upside down and submerged in water. If you can escape then enjoy the festivities! Kurt Russell will be signing autographs.

Earthquake Wednesday: Ever wonder what it’s like to watch a baseball game while fearing for your life? Well wonder no longer, as the foundation crumbles at your feet and the stadium collapses! Disaster relief will be given to the first 15 lucky fans!

I think F.P.’s suggestions will go over well with the Potomac fans. At least those who survive.

Lots of people have been paying attention to what’s going on with the Nationals big league club getting off to a great start to the season. But for every team it’s important to pay attention to what’s happening down on the farm. So what’s happening for the Nats in their farm system?

Tomatoes.

All the minor league coaches agreed that the name was misleading. So rather than changing “farm system” to something else, they’ve replaced all baseballs with tomatoes.