First and formost I want to make it clear that I did get permission from Greenthorn(GT) to post this.

While talking rps and brainstorming for our game on the phone, GT and I were interrupted by her 6 year old daughter with a very curious imagination. So this is how the conversation went......

GT: What are you doing?

6yr old: *Ignores GT and continues to open a tampon pack*

GT: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

6yr old: *Pushes tampon plunger and ejects the tampon cotton and says* It has a string!

6yr old: why does it have a string?

GT: To be able to pull it out of you, put it in the trash, its not a toy.

6yr old: Well whats it used for?

GT: for when you get your period.

Me: *snickers, is amused by this conversation*

6yr old: well where does it go?

GT: in your vagina.

Then sudden on the phone I hear GT exclaim "DONT TWIRL IT AROUND!!!" and that my friends sends me rolling on the floor with laughter as I can only imagine the visual image of her daughter effortlessly and shamelessly swinging the cotton tampon around by the string. Notice this was not a used tampon, it was clean.

GT: Put that in the trash its been on your hands.

6yr old: *tries to put tampon back into plunger as her mother speaks with her about throwing it away*

GT: *sighs and comes back to the phone saying* I don't know where she gets all these from.

6yr old: *comes back into the room with yet another package of tampons.*

GT: *yelling* I'm not going to have any tampons left for my period! Put it back!*Sighs* my house is crazy.....

*laughs* My stepdaughter uses the kotex pads as both me and her birth mother are kind of leery about teenagers using tampons due to TSS (Her birth mother got TSS as a Teen, and developed endometriosis, its rather a miracle that the daughter was born at all). Anyway my now-9 year old was 4 then and got into the stepdaughters packages of kotex and had undid the paper strips, and decorated her walls with them. I walk in her room and her wall has about 20 pads sticking to it.

And here I was embarrassed that veks heard me scolding my daughter for coloring on a plate when he talked me into getting in voice *grins*

Ok I am on the phone with husband now, and I told him this story just so we can laugh and compare how kids everywhere are the same. So he told me this joke.

A woman goes into a pharmacy and sees a sign Tampons 5 boxes for a dollar. She asks the Pharmacists, is this for real? He said yes, Honestly five boxes for a dollar....No Strings Attached...

*giggles* I like that one!

Yeah, Dragoon unfortunately gets to hear a lot of conversations that I am sure amuse him...but this one happened at like 11pm at night...I was already annoyed that she wouldn't stay in bed...and well..when she pushed the plunger on the tampon and saw it had a string too *shakes head*

Not to mention I've had dogs who like to root through the trash...many a times I'd have friends over and my dog would come prancing in with less than desirables in its mouth.

While talking about rp over the phone with GT, on my new blue ant bluetooth(which by the way is very very sensitive at picking up the slightest sounds) I overheard a voice in the background and the conversation that ensued.........The people are real, the stories are true, and the results i think are hilarious.

GT: So I was thinking about having the rp go in spurts back and forth........

6 year old:*singing in the background in her sing song voice

DD: what's the heck is that sound?

GT: what? oh thats my 6 year old singing on the toliet while she shits.

my cats steal mine from out of the bottom drawer, yes, they know how to open drawers, and bat them around the bathroom... or, worse, down the hallway when we have company over... and they seem so proud of themselves *sighs*

My little one has found my vibrator...red, clear...I walked in to her "looking for a button to turn the flashlight on"

Thank god for innocence!!

(my response: it's broken, gimme that!)

My little brother found mine when he was like 5 (at the time it was pink/clear and one of the squishy jelly kind) and he started waving it around in the air, laughing and saying that it was funny. I quickly grabbed it away and told him that it was not a toy for him to play with... *Sigh* I am just glad my mom never found out about that lol.

So, last night I call my 15 yr old up to hold the crab since it had not moved in the past 24 hours. I'm skittish about holding it, but she had done so already. She sits down on my bed, pulls the comforter over her legs in case the crab climbs and falls and then she puts it in the palm of her hand and waits. Nothing.

My 7 yr old takes the crab and turns it upside down, wiggles it back and forth, then states "It's dead". She then turns it right side up and goes to hand it to my other daughter.

Well, needless to say, the crab was indeed dead! It dropped out of its shell and onto my 15 yr old's lap. She screams and throws the comforter off of herself, the 7yr old throws the shell. Mind you, the 15 yr old was sitting right across from me, so I throw the comforter off of my legs and jump off of the bed.

The three of us are screaming at the top of our lungs and poor Dragoon was on the phone with me.

My lamp was not plugged in and my comforter is the same reddish color as the damn crab. There I am poking around my bed with a hanger trying to find the deshelled crab while my 15 yr old plugs the lamp in. We still could not find the damn thing, so I was about to gather up my bedding and just throw it all away.

The 15 yr old says "Found it!" It had landed on a tin lid on the other side of my bed! So we fought about who was going to pick up the tin lid and throw it out. 15 yr old had to (I know, I'm mean). so, I stripped my bed, threw out my soda I was drinking (some kind of crab gunk could've gotten into it!) and apologized profusely to Dragoon.

OMG so then you saw how ugly it was when it's not in the shell!! Not that's it's very pretty otherwise haha

I saw a huge hermit crab that had taken one of those conch shells as its home. The shell was at least half a foot high and half that in diameter. It was all sunset colors. I wish I would have brought my camera.

I saw a huge hermit crab that had taken one of those conch shells as its home. The shell was at least half a foot high and half that in diameter. It was all sunset colors. I wish I would have brought my camera.

needless to say it was a skit of comedic proportions. Its like one of those made for TV movie scenes. I kinda figured out by the screaming that something had happened, because not only did one person scream but all three and very loudly. Im guessing either the crab was playing possum oooooooooooor it landed somewhere it shouldnt have. I was trying hard not to laugh on the other end of the phone but it was nigh impossible.