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8/07/2008

08/08/08 - First British Gold!

They're wild, their noisy, and thank god, they're British!
Britain claimed the first gold medal of the games when its team were the first to be arrested in the Political Demonstration Event (Pro-Tibet Class).Iain Thom and Lucy Fairbrother performed their winning routine at the very epicentre of the games, the enormously pompous 'Bird's Nest Cage', and therefore gained marks for difficulty as well as beating the rest of the field by days.

The IOC have not decided yet whether this trial event will be retained for the London Games. And it remains to be seen whether being arrested for fomenting unrest in China is umpired in the same way as fomenting unrest in Britain. There are hopeful signs however in the recent record of the British government and the score it awarded to Maya Ann Evans for her Whitehall appearance in 2005 under Section 132 of the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act.
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Naturally, the defamation has started. The messageboards are full of the usual miseryguts smearing Thom & Fairbrother as self-interested egoists in classic Pravda style. These people can never actually name any of the rewards of being put in a Beijing jail for broadcasting unwanted messages from the heart of a totalitarian regime, but they do know their gimcrack philosophy, like: 'Look after Number One', and 'Stuff you Jack, I'm Allright'. They have been taught that the weak should go to the wall, and are determined to stand by their dogma. If they only knew that 'Swampy' is now living in a mansion in Beverly Hills.