Jan 2, 2011

To my children, with all my heart.

I know I'm not the first person to write about being a mother, and I won't be the last. Motherhood is strange and wonderful...It's like being a member of the biggest club on earth, but it is also the most personal and singular thing you will ever do.

You start off with this tiny little baby, whom you will love with a fierceness that you never knew you possessed, and you will watch that baby grow into adulthood. And that impossible love you first felt for your child will grow by leaps and bounds every day for the rest of your life.

You will go through many seasons with your child. Seasons of closeness, love, joy, wonder, excitement, pride and understanding. Seasons of anger, disappointment, confusion, frustration and hopelessness. But the one thing that will never change is that deep love that you have for your child.

I am the best mother I know how to be. I'm not always right. I don't always do the right thing, and I am definitely far from perfect. Sometimes I don't have the answers, and that is hard. I can't always protect them, and that is the hardest part of being a mother.

I love my kids with all my heart. I want them to know I am always here if they need me, and that I will try to have the strength to cheer them on from the sidelines when they need me to let them go on their own.

According to Sufi mysticism, the soul of the child looks down at the world and sees every soul that resides in every woman. When the child finds the one that will be able to help them fulfill their life's purpose, they make their choice. I believe this with all of my heart, because two of my children told me when they were small that they actually remembered doing this.

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About Me

I am a full time mom of 5 kids, three still at home. I homeschool two of my kids.
In my spare time, I get dressed. Or, if I have time, brush my teeth. I love my kids more than life itself. I would do anything for them. Sometimes it feels like us against the world. But then I see another mom in the store, still in yesterdays sweats, cart full to overflowing, kids screaming, barely hanging on to her last shreds of composure and dignity. And I say a little prayer for her, and thank God I am not alone in this crazy thing we call motherhood.