The Damage Done By A Broken Home

As a young child, seeing your parents split up never really hits you until you get older and you realize all the damage it has done to you, but as time goes along you learn to accept that you can’t fix a broken home.

Photo by Ben Randolph — Graphic illustration by Austin Worrell

The effects of growing up in a divorced household are eternal. Despite the scars of witnessing her parents’ divorce at 6 years old, junior Alexia Duncan has learned to move forward in accepting that God is ultimately in control, and He is with us through every battle.

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When I was a little girl, everything in my world was picture perfect, until one Christmas Day in December of 2005.

A few days before Christmas Eve, my parents had been arguing every day, and the arguments got more intense each day.

My dad moved out of the house a few days before Christmas Eve, and I thought all hope was lost for our family.

Christmas Eve came, and that night my dad came back to the house and had his bag packed with him.

My youngest brother and I started to smile as we regained hope in thinking our parents were getting back together and our family was going to be together again.

The next day my parents woke us up to come and open our presents.

We were so excited, not only because we had presents under the tree, but because mom and dad were back together.

Everything was going great that morning, my brother and I got what we wanted for Christmas and our parents were happy, but all of that suddenly changed when my parents looked at us, my brother age 2 and me age 6, and said these exact words:

“Lexi and Jordan, there’s something that mommy and daddy have to tell you. Mommy and daddy aren’t getting along anymore and we think it’s best for us and you guys if we split up.”

At a young age, when you hear those words all you think about at the time is, “I get two of everything now.”

That was all fine and dandy when I was younger, but as I got older I realized how much damage it actually caused me.

There are millions of children all over the world who grow up in divorced parent households or who are going through the beginning of that process.

Kids who are suffering from divorced parents go through different types of emotional and physical problems.

Statistics show that 50 percent of children in North America witness their parents going through a divorce and half of the 50 percent will witness the breakup of the second marriage between the parents.

Studies show that children who are living in a divorced parent household tend to struggle in school and are less pleasant to be around.

Other studies from Kidspot even say that children in a single-parent household are more likely to get involved in criminal activity, go to jail or do things that are not seen as appropriate to the public.

Often times when kids are going through their parents being divorced, they become angry, sad and depressed. They also tend to isolate themselves.

Dealing with the separation of your parents is difficult and it can affect a person in a profound way whether or not they think so.

Personally, I didn’t think my parents’ divorce was going to affect me at all, but as time went on, I realized it did much damage.

It left me pondering many questions, like why it happened, what caused them to fall apart, who was in the wrong, who was in the right, could they have tried to make a way for it to work, and the list goes on.

There were plenty of nights where I sat and cried to myself because I didn’t know the answer to anything, and I didn’t know why it had to be my family that fell apart.

As time passed, I realized that I couldn’t fix a broken home and there was no point in trying to repair one that had simply burned to the ground.

I’m older now and I still care about the fact that my parents are split up, but I try to forget about it and move on.

I feel like I am doing pretty good in life as a child who went through a divorced household.

I don’t fit the profile that various studies say about children who go through this certain situation.

I’ve never been in jail, I don’t have a drug abuse issue, I don’t partake in criminal activity and I don’t partake in activities that society looks down upon as a young woman.

Even though my parents didn’t see eye to eye with their relationship, they still made sure that my little brother and I were raised properly and that we had a positive childhood.

Honestly, I can say that I had a good childhood because I still got to see both of my parents and they made sure that my brother and I had whatever we needed.

I am really blessed because I know there are lots of kids out there going through my exact same problem but who are struggling a lot harder than me.

Yes, sometimes I did ask God why, but I realized later on down the line that He had His hands on my family then, and He still does now.

Alexia Duncan

Alexia Duncan is a contributing writer for MBU Timeline. A transfer student to Missouri Baptist University, Duncan is a junior majoring in communications. She is hoping to become a sports broadcaster or sports journalist when she graduates from MBU. Duncan is also a part of the MBU women’s basketball team.

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