A walking tour of life, recovery, becoming a betterhuman being, loving friends and family, and dogs.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Phoenix airport

I'm sitting in the Phoenix airport listening to some guy with a small guitar belt out a version of Brown-Eyed Girl complete with people singing the chorus. I guess it's the chorus, anyway. Americans may sing a lot in the shower, but rarely do we sing in public venues like airports or on trains or while waiting for a bus. What's up with that?

America is a funny place. Going from Missouri to California, you might as well go to a parallel universe, whatever that is. I drove today in my rented HHR (they upgraded me because I asked) from La Habra to the Burbank airport and it was the most tense I've been in months. I noticed I was gripping the wheel like I was somebody's grandmother. [My God, it's a Southwest employee singing. What marketing ploy will they think of next?]

I am totally exhausted and fighting a dangerous depression today. I think I'm just overly tired, and although I had a wonderful time with my wonderful goofy friends, I have never realized how alienating it can be to be in a city of that size again that moves so fast, fast, fast.

My big project we've been working on has a pretty serious error in it and I'm having to explain why, which is embarrassing. We caught it in time, but it's my fault since I was editing it. But I learned something valuable and next time, we'll make a different mistake, not that one. One nice thing about being in recovery, I don't always have to keep hitting the same speed bumps in the road of life again and again. I can choose to learn from my errors and take a different route.

I just received a nice piece of business, for which I'm very grateful. This should keep me busy for the next few weeks. So all in all, things are great. I'm just too long since my last meeting and tired. It's time to HALT and go eat, so until later, mis amigos, have a great day and thanks for your check-ins the past few days.

4 comments:

"next time we'll make a different mistake". Isn't that the truth? We don't need to beat ourselves up today. One of my hard lessons (still) is accepting my human fraility...errors, defects and all...owning them as part of me and gracefully moving on. I used to act and over-react everytime a defect was exposed. Now I TRY to say "yep" and learn whatever.

Don't feel too bad if you are a little under the weather, I think CA is designed to give people culture shock! We mean well.... LOL!!!

Reading blogs of people in recovery gives me so much hope...it's great to know that things can get better, that people can learn to deal with themselves honestly, and that there's still hope. I'm a newcomer to your blog, but I'll be back to read more. I'm going to link here from mine...

About Me

I am a performance poet and writer. In a former life I was probably a gypsy. I am content wherever I am because I have the rooms of the Fellowship. I have 31 years of recovery, had a liver transplant in 2005 and am currently writing a daily meditation book for recovering addicts and alcoholics. I have two German shepherds, a fantastic husband and a great life.