Just wait...

‘You just wait!Someday you’ll have children and then you’ll see…’ My momma had plenty of occasions to say this little maxim as we entered the tumultuous teenage years, three girls in the span of five…One of us was always upsetting the delicate balance of our household: fighting with each other, failing to obey a rule, ignoring our chores, or making some harebrained decision without regard for the consequences…This was her nice way of saying we had done something that really hurt her heart…

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Every parent wants their child to do the right things and make smart choices.Inevitably, given enough time and freedom, they will mess up…It’s part of them growing up and us letting go.

But it’s incredibly difficult to live with the knowledge that a single, small, innocent mistake cost your child his life…

Which is why we decided to talk about it, hoping to raise awareness of the danger in our community.

The bracelets have arrived, and so it begins…I’ve no idea what I’m doing, nor do I have any specific plan in mind, only the desire to prevent this heartbreak from happening to someone else.

Though in doing this, I sense we have passed another point of no return.As John said, every bracelet we give away means this really happened to Brian, to us…Each telling of the tale reopens our anguish; it’s unavoidable…Will seeing our pain change opinions, persuade others?Heaven only knows…

And speaking openly about this outside of our family and friends makes me a little bit nervous.I don’t know how I will react if someone suggests Brian deserved what happened to him…No one deserves to die over a phone call.

I hope I turn out to be as strong as I want to be, so I can fulfill whatever mission He has set before me.

This is another decision that will hurt my momma’s heart…Only this time, it’s because it hurts mine...

“A mother’s heart is always with her children” –German proverb

Wishing you sunshine and hope…tg

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays. -- Jen, site administrator