May 05, 2017

Yuck.

Yuck. Yuck. Yeah today was blue skies all day again and yes we were pretty much just in bed feeling horrible and little like we normally do. We been remembering some stuff that helps, feeling to shit to go into it now though. We did manage to water the garden though, the buddleia is looks happy and one of the ferns came but its gonna have to wait before it gets its new home cause we haven't even started on where it's going.

Fucking Republicans. They are all well yuck to. Been getting flashbacks to the way they talked about the ACA, the horrific bullshit and all that effort by rich people to stop other people from having basic fucking health care. Fucking CNN and the rest making out like they're all as bad as each other when some are trying to give people decent lives or even just the hope of a decent fucking life while the other lot are going to make it even harder for even more people. They exploit, they kill, the incarcerate and only respect laws and traditions that suit them then blatantly lie about it and its just accepted. Keeping the benefits they don't need brought through the work of others that had to fight them every step of the way then taking it away from those that its for, those that are entitled to it. We also managed to vote today to. Went for the numbered thing even though we're quite confident they are all wanks, the parties could be ordered.

Do feel/hope that the scales are falling. Surely. Maybe that's just us. And it wasn't scales as much as layered on by other people and they are not some much falling but rather blasted away from inside.

Got weed.. cant fucking taste it..

Watched a bit of the Comey hearing. It's great to be so much more relaxed about knowing there will be major and significant triggers in the news. We don't hunt them and we don't run although we do sometimes take a step to the side cause we know it's not going anywhere and that we are not quite ready. He is deeply shady though of course, so so much of course. What we got was early-mid nineties Skene bedroom which is always very bad and a lot of very hard work since. A lot of it for years was on the do on our own and tell (almost) no one lists. That had all gone by the time we were taking calls from the hospital from Yanks who had just got tonnes of stuff we had been holding back from them cause we had to.

Those calls were so important at the time because so much else that had happened was back behind the wall but calls with agents and officers happen to most parts and the content was mostly about stuff that programmers had no idea about so we could remember during and even after a bit because their wasnt any drastic switching. An island of something else outside being us in a psychiatric NHS ward in Fife with Pabs in care in the Summer of 2016.. We usually couldnt remember words but we could remember tonnes of voices and ranges of emotions and that sense of being okay and not being alone and feeling validated we so rarely get here. We have talked a few times about what a relief it was and is for people who for so long knew they needed to know stuff but we wouldnt share no matter what finally knowing and knowing why we couldn't tell them. They have a chance to help us now and we have been told we need to start accepting that as fact and we are working on it.