Freak Show Friday Truck Insanity

We’ll slightly deviate from the normal Freak Show Friday to delve into freaky what-ifs. Some freaks only exist in the minds of those who dwell on such things. Some are fortunate enough to be able to express these dark thoughts into two-dimensional depictions of their troubled ideas. I scrawled these nightmares on what one could do with a rusty truck body, time, and talent.

These originally ran in Rod & Custom magazine back in ’07 because HOT ROD had class back then. Since I joined the staff they have given up any semblance of class—which is also why we have Elana. Besides knowing more than the rest of the staff, she also stands in for the us on those occasions when “class” is called for. But I digress…

Basically these are suggesting what one would do with an old truck body if they are considering building a high boy, but lack the funds and $25,000 Deuce roadster body. Sketchy foundations, but that’s where troubled minds wander at times. Below each image is a quickie description. If you are so inclined to attempt such madness, keep ‘ol HOT ROD in mind for updates we can share with the other freaks.

2/5

1958-60 Dodge Truck
There has got to be virtually no demand for one of these rusted halfway up the doors, but with a little imagination and a blown 392 Hemi you could transform the worthless rust bucket into a high boy pickup. The front of the body at the frame is the front of the hood grafted to the cowl. The body itself would have to be narrowed, and sliced at an angle at the bottom to rid yourself of the rust but also to take some body height out of the thing. The bed could be anything currently repro’d. The frame would be just a scaled-up T-bucket with a healthy kick-up. You’d have to fab the wrapping windshield posts but if you’re even contemplating this freak then you’ve probably got the talent to pull that off.

3/5

1948-54 Chevy Truck
Chevy had to have made millions of these trucks, and so finding a rusted example should be easier than hunting Easter eggs. Narrow the body, cut the door tops off and work the tops of the doors to eliminate any semblance of said frame, and chop and lean back the windshield posts. The grille could be anything you wish, in keeping with the overall theme of ‘50s Chevy pickup what-if. To keep the vibe going, how ‘bout a Wayne Horning head and a threesome of Weber carbs on a 270 straight six?

4/5

1967-72 Ford Truck
The folks over at Painless Wiring pulled this off not long after these originally ran in ’07, but we include it again as proof that you can actually do this. They called theirs the "Truckster". Narrow the body, whack a few inches off of the bottom of the body, fab simple windshield posts or adapt some from an old roadster, and you’re on your way. The tank is relieved on the bottom for the early Ford banjo rear end, to help keep things all old Ford—as we had done with the flathead and ’36-39 Ford artillery wheels. A painted Model A grille finishes off this freaky Ford.

5/5

Bonus ’60-66 Chevy Truck
This was not from these original sketches but while digging through those musty old flat files I found this and thought it sort of goes with the general theme of doing something with almost nothing—rusty old trucks in our case here. Besides the heavy chop the body has been sawed off at an angle severely wedging the overall profile of the old Chevy. A passenger car frame and suspension from something newer and better handling would probably be in order. Those ’60-61 snarky hood nostrils look kinda cool from our 2014 perspective, though they have not been on top of the Chevy truck hit parade for all of these years.