A Danger To Himself and Society

It’s abundantly clear this takes place on Death Row, right? Like, none of you assumed this guy was just in Max, right? Regular Death Row inmates that just wore their mom’s skin as a sun dress and made a trombone out her bones stay on Death Row for years and years, going through multiple appeals and lengthy legal proceedings. This sock-shoe, sock-shoe guy is promptly getting all of his blood replaced with poison Tuesday after next. People need to feel safe in their homes. American citizens need to be able to sleep at night, knowing that everyone they encounter is a sock-sock, shoe-shoe person, be they minister or murderer, doctor or decapitator.

Wow, I never thought about it, but I go sock shoe sock shoe about 70% of the time. It makes more sense, since I already have the foot up there that I just put a sock on, why not go ahead and put the shoe on. Why would I keep switching back and forth like a lunatic. This way I have more energy to bathe in the blood of newborn kittens while I wear my grandmothers panties on my head. Hail Satan. Or Hell Satan. Whatevs.

Ok, in the morning that’s pretty weird. I do sock-shoe-sock-shoe all the time after my Tae Kwon Do practices, though. When I take them off beforehand, I stuff my socks in them for safekeeping. Then when I’m leaving, I grab a shoe, put on the sock from it, and put on the shoe before going for the other one. I hope that means I’m just practical and not a monster.

This comic made me laugh.
This comment, “This sock-shoe, sock-shoe guy is promptly getting all of his blood replaced with poison Tuesday after next. People need to feel safe in their homes,” fucking killed me. I cannot even.

Every time I read it, I lose it.
“Blood replaced with poison,” is my new favorite thing ever.

…Also I think my boyfriend might put his socks and shoes on like that guy.
Is that…a sign?

Bahaha all you sorry backward socksockshoeshoe adherents. Free the metatarsals! Forsake your encumb’ring socks and embrace the truth and hoy of sandals! Never again shall you endure the demonic itch of leg hairs snagged in nylon!

Hey, I put on some dudes lower body as a shirt just like you do. One leg at a time. Over my arms. Because I’m wearing his lower body as a shirt. My head is sticking out of what’s left of his butthole. Just like you. Juuuuuuust like you.

I never understood the “pants one leg at a time” thing either. Why would you do that? It’s like, you’ve got the pants all the way up one leg, and then you need to lower them back down to get your other leg in, it makes no sense. I get it if the phrase was “shoes one leg at a time”, because you kind of have to (unless they’re loafers or slippers or something), but with pants? That’s just crazy.