According to my father’s death certificate, the cause of his death is unknown. The autopsy that was performed when (oh, god, to write such words and remain detached is beyond my ability) his body was recovered was inconclusive. More tests were needed. We would have to wait – weeks, probably, the coroner told me – before we would know anything. In the meantime, the cause of death would be noted as unknown.

For a time, this bothered me. Then, once I’d set about the work of attending to the site of his death and life, I realized that it was possible to come to my own answers. And I did (this, a story that I am not yet ready to tell.) And while I cannot quite say that I was or am happy with that, I can say that I came to a sort of peace, and that the ’cause of death unknown’ notation on his death certificate – with all of the horrible implications that such a notation carries – ceased to bother me quite so much.