Saturday, 1 August 2015

The Number 31 ...

“All men die. That is how they have been created. But what matters is what they do while they are still alive. We write this book foreseeing the future of humanity. And we have foreseen the end of it. We have seen how man will eventually destroy himself. We have seen how greed will tear everyone apart and how jealousy will make the world burn. We have seen how emotions can weaken men. We have seen how Power can corrupt anything it touches. But we have also seen ‘The One’. Who is ‘The One’ you ask? He is just like you. And he lives amongst you. But what makes him so special is that at a very crucial time in his life he will realise who he truly is. And that realisation won’t come from love or friendship or bonds that unite. It will come from knowing the nothingness. The blackness within and stillness within his soul. And when he does accept who he is, his entire world will be changed forever.”

-The Book Of Prophecies.

I don’t write that many blogs anymore. It has been more than a month since my last blog entry. There was a time when I use to write an entry every week. But now I guess I don’t have much to express. I know it is strange of me to say that but that is the truth and I have accepted that. Before, it was all about me trying to make my voice heard by everyone. Now, I don’t feel that necessity anymore. I guess turning 31 makes you feel like that. Or maybe it is all the life experiences combined till now that make you realise that in the end all you have to be is Self-Sufficient. What is self-sufficient you ask? Well, according to me, it is the ability to be contended with one’s own self. I know I will be sounding like a hypocrite right now but the truth is that for a while I have been feeling this way. And now, I have gotten used to it. Yes. I really love my own company! Even right now, I am all alone in my house writing this blog. Of course, my bros and sis will be arriving in some time with their friends but until they come, I know I can enjoy every amount of this solitary peace given to me. And no, I didn’t celebrate my birthday this year. I in fact, really liked the peace and quit. I liked it so much that I even refused to pick up calls from the people who wanted to wish me! I was like, “I am 31 now! I want to feel like I am 31.” I know I must be wrong according to many people for being this way but this state of being really makes me very happy. In fact, I am also very proud of myself. Proud why you ask, well, ‘cause for the 1st time in my life I am abiding the promise I gave to the universe and to Frank all those years ago. The promise of being non-dependant on others. And the power to be completely self-sufficient. In other words, transforming into a Lone Wolf.

I don’t remember the last time I cried. You know, that crying which is either triggered by a sudden hurt or a surprised feeling of joy. I don’t remember when I had tears rolling down my cheeks. My pet Wrinkle, who was very close to me passed away. I didn’t cry then. Same happened when my pets Tiger and Chewbacca passed away also. And I also didn’t cry when Ishqedarriyaan didn’t click. I just looked at the mirror and then told myself, “Get Up and fight back.” And now, that is what I do. Day in and day out I test myself. Day in and day out I try to make myself better. And day in and day out I become stronger. So strong that no one can have the power to ever hurt me again. Even my weekly time table is a ’Self-Involved’ time table. Get Up, have coffee, eat breakfast, leave for the gym. Train, then eat, then read, then do mma. Then take a bath, have dinner, watch tv, play video games, watch a movie, do my online course, read on my kindle, go to sleep. Repeat the same training cycle for 6 days a week. Rest and recover on sundays. Get back to training on monday. And this schedule of mine is only giving me progress. A self-sufficeint progress. I am very happy to say I have one of the best trainers out there {Abbas Ali} and getting trained by him and understanding what fitness truly is, is a reward in itself. He pushes me and I always feel a personal high when gym members come up to me and congratulate me on my transformation and also the lovely comments I get on the social media platforms. All of this combined only convinces me that I can do a lot more. And that is why I have enrolled myself into a Dance class. The Advanced level of Urban Hip-Hop. I believe I can never stop learning and there is always something new to learn out there. So now, with the Cardio and Coach’s training and the Mma I am also learning dance. You know what the funny thing is? I always called myself a ‘Machine’ when I did nothing like what a machine does. But now, turning 31 I know that by default I do everything what a Machine does. And that is to never stop.

"Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy."

Don’t take me wrong. I am not showing off. I am just trying to prove a point to you. That eventually we all become what we had set out to be. When I was 20, I made many promises to myself. Back then, I was childish and immature and didn’t know what I was doing. But now, it is all because of those promises that I am forging myself with Steel everyday. Promises that are more real now than they were back then. There are voices in my head which keep on telling me the same thing over and over again. “You are the Lone Wolf. You are stronger than others. You can be alone while others don’t want to be. You can stand tall when all else fails. You are the one who can do extraordinary things.” Those words are like constant echoes in my head. And they never stop. I guess they are gentle reminders from the Universe. Reminders which always show me my path. I know I am not perfect. Hell, I am far away from perfect and I wasn’t always this self-aware. But I know that is all in the past now. You can’t imagine how happy I feel when I am all by myself. The freedom to know that you are in charge of only your life and the power that comes with it is truly amazing. I guess those are the perks of turning 31. :-)

"A self-fulfilling prophecy is an assumption or prediction that, purely as a result of having been made, cause the expected or predicted event to occur and thus confirms its own 'accuracy.'"

So how does a man who always wanted attention from others becomes the man who loves being by himself? I guess the answer is contentment. There are so many moments in a day which make me look up to the universe and say the words, “Thank You”. There are so many moments in a day where I truly feel happy and in these moments I know that the universe is with me, every step of the way and I know that everything is going to be alright. Yes, I do believe in Hope. And that is why I fight everyday. That is why I sacrifice and that is why I push myself to new limits. Before, in my blogs, I always wanted to redeem myself in a way or indirectly say the things I wanted to say to others. But now, I feel nothing. I feel no anger or resentment or anguish. I am just happy being left alone in my own little world, minding my own business and giving my goals and dreams my 100% everyday! That is the man I have become now. The lone wolf I am transforming into. I have this pumped-up energy in me which never goes out! Trust me on that! And I say that ‘cause I train thrice a day and yet I have energy. I don’t feel soreness and I don’t feel fatigued. And there is so much I want to do! I want to grow a beard. Try new hair styles. Go for Fighting Camps across the world and also read more Books and take more Online Courses! So in other words turning 31 has only been the beginning of my ‘Real’ journey.

"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil."

2 comments:

Hey dude ur schedule is "wow" i mean it..life is not an easy platter..i saw u when u were 2, i was abt 6..today we both are 30+ we have ourown struggles n fights..i fight to survive everday when life hits back all i do is get up,dust myself and tell life "bas ithna hi..is this all u ve got for me"All i wud say is never give up n keep going..all the best..and i really really wish i cud have the schedule below :)

i wish i cud also have this ..

Get Up, have coffee, eat breakfast, leave for the gym. Train, then eat, then read, then do mma. Then take a bath, have dinner, watch tv, play video games, watch a movie, do my online course, read on my kindle, go to sleep. Repeat the same training cycle for 6 days a week. Rest and recover on sundays. Get back to training on monday.

About Me

Hi, I am Mahaakshay Chakraborty. I am an Actor. I am from Mumbai. I love Movies and everything about them. I am also learning Mixed Martial Arts as a Professional Sport and I believe in the Power of Giving. :-)