How I got on the bus and missed my ship..

Let me tell you, working two jobs in its self is a incredible feet but having little to no choice is something entirely different.

Everyone says that this is the way it is now, that there's no 40 hour work week, it's long gone, dead.

Its true, in a small town you have little to no choice, factory work or retail, if you were in factory work then you'd most likely have a living wage and hours but I've been told you either have to be a man, student or know the correct people.

With retail, it’s entry level so you, at 30-40 will be mixing it up with 14 year olds and right up on up the spectrum, so, basically woman in their 50 and 60s who are unable to retire because this is all they have or woman whom are married, don’t need the income but it gets them out of the house. It also means that it’s all part time work, actually it’s more a long the lines of casual work. Can you live off of 14-23 hours per week?

You have all this time to look at the younger and realize, yep, I'm old enough to be their mother but hey, at least they have a future and hopefully won't drop anchor here.

You then look at the more seasoned ladies and think " they're old enough to be my mother, and they're still working here." This of course scares the crap out of you because this is clearly not where you want to be in life and not at the age of 40.

Everyone's fix is a old, outdated one, 'Go to school and get a education', something that was possible for the ones fortunate enough to live in a time where this was actually possible for most. Yet, I was not one of them, just about the time I should have been headed to collage to cultivate a fabulous career, schooling became unaffordable and unemployment was high.

-What life boat did I miss and when did I miss it? You'll be asking this a lot and honestly it could have been missed at any point in time for all kinds of reasons that made sense then but just kind of pisses you off now.

Because now you're 40 and life kind of sucks, you've gone absolutely no where, at least from a educational angle, or an angle that would have prevented your low paying job(s) and replaced them with what?

Okay, maybe you moved out when you were young and like a rebel decided to get on a bus and live in another country for 10 years before realizing that, "hey, this has been real but I gotta go home" ....

Ten years is a long fucking time to be out of your country and it’s a long fucking time to be away from your family, add allot of red tape and the fact that you’ve not worked in your country for 10 years - this means, no Unemployment Insurance or CPP contributions for that long , you’ve again fallen way behind in life and your future. How do you possibly catch up without winning the lotto?

You work two low paying, low hour jobs and pray to GOD every night that it will be enough. Deep down you know it won't be so you have chronic headaches, insomnia, nightmares and anxiety attacks , all because you missed the boat, while you were in your 20s and took the bus instead.

Moral of this story is this; get on your ship when it arrives, live life, take some time to be a adventurer, but whatever you do, don't get on that bus.