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Monthly Archives: May 2015

Revisions

Scenes 40 and 41

I boasted of revising three scenes in three days and…I fell off. Not much hurt except my pride.

Anyway, back to back scenes. But I wonder if I will ever revise multiple scenes in one day again. Maybe not.

Scene 40 (May 30th)

Scene 40 amazes me. When I first laid out my story, like most writers, I was having trouble finding things to put into my middle. I guess that’s part of sagging middles. Never mind that I found too much to put into Part Two (cutting 5,015 words) and Part Three (cutting 5,838 words and needing to cut over 34,000 words total).

Like this:

Revisions

Scene 39

When I replanned my WIP, I was undecided how to write this scene. As I said earlier, I wrote my entire first draft thinking I was doing dialog. But scenes where my MC wasn’t in the center of the dialog puzzled me. And I met this problem again.

In this scene, my MC is the object of negotiations. She isn’t permitted to say very much by men in power. Instead, they expect her to sit on a dais, look pretty, and accept whatever they negotiate. That scenario, clearly, isn’t dialog.

Since much of this would happen in her mind, I briefly considered contemplative, but I needed new information to come out. So that left either dramatic or suspense. And, since I couldn’t think of any decisions I wanted her to make, I settled on suspense.

And, whether my intuition led me to the perfect answer, or I bent my scene to fit my template, I’m not sure. But I found a perfect fear for her, being married off against her will, for the second time in her life. I found a way to raise that fear early in the scene, stoked it, and finally sprung the trap.

I hope it reads as well as I think it did.

How Am I Doing?

Well, remember how proud I was about saving words. I gave them all back today. With 1833 words in Scene 39, I brought myself to 48 words over my budget. I hope I can trim a word her or there later on.

With my new math, Scene 39 means I’ve written 44 scenes, with 35 to go. But, I’ve got 66,534 words down. I’m getting tummy flutters thinking about just 53,466 words to go. I almost want to pinch myself to see if this is real.

Like this:

Revisions

Scene 38

I had originally planned to lead off Part Three with this scene, and a big reveal. But, as I wrote about inScene 36, I couldn’t make my timeline work for me. So, I moved this scene to follow.

I originally intended to write it as Dialog, with the big reveal. But I had already done that, so I had to reconsider what I was going to do with this scene. Since I couldn’t come up with any big plot or character reveals, I briefly considered Contemplative, but I had done one of those two scenes before. So, I hit on the thought that my villain / love interest should decide something, so that left me with Dramatic or Suspense.

So, I decided on Dramatic. And that meant that almost all my original words were useless for my purposes. Not to say that the ideas weren’t still good. It was that my words told part of the story that I didn’t need or want to tell. So, I basically rewrote my scene.

Is it stronger. I think so. Does it push my villain / love interest forever down a path he cannot return from? Sadly so.

How Am I Doing?

With 64,701 words on paper, I’m on the down-hill side and hope I can pick up steam. With my scene coming in at 1,152 words, I actually have a surplus of 285 words. So far, so good. Fingers crossed.

Like this:

Revisions

Scenes 36 and 37

After reading my first draft, I decided something dramatic to reveal as I swung into Part Three.

My problem? My MC goes through Part Two using two assumptions which are false. Nor can my reader know.
Part Two, with Scene 35, ends with her still gripped by those wrong assumptions. Then, in Scene 36, I wanted her villain / love interest to learn, along with my readers, that she is safe. As part of that, her assumptions are shown to be false.
I wanted Scene 37 to occur within hours after Scene 35. But, if her villain / love interest is hundreds of miles away, how could this timeline work?
No simple answers popped up. Miscommunication and false information are keys to my story. And, if I alter everything for this event, then I might ruin other parts of my story.

Revisions

Scenes 34 and 35

I broke Scene 34, as originally planned, into two scenes. I wrote Scene 34, Scene 34A, and Scene 35, as close together as I could. My MC was POV in all of them. And this was her chance to show off her qualities. I’m proud of her.

I wrote Scene 34 as dramatic. Dramatic scenes require difficult choices, and lots of emotion in arriving at them. I force her to make a hard, hard choice. The hardest choice a mother would ever have to make.

I wrote Scene 34A as suspense. Once she starts, she cannot go back, but has to finish what she started. And she must run toward what she hopes is her second worst enemy. Does it work? I hope so.Continue reading →

Like this:

Revisions

Scenes 32 and 33

I’m finally nearing the end of Part Two. Back with my main character, I tackled two scenes that I had earmarked to be collection points for several original scenes. And…I changed my mind, and turned those two scenes into five scenes. Happily, I had words to spare.

Scene 32 (May 16th)

Scene 32 became two scenes. When I originally wrote about this, I had three scenes. I took part of one original scene and moved it to Scene 33, and then wrote 32 and 32A. I made this division because I needed two different scene types. I needed action, a battle scene, and I needed something which presaged it. And I decided on suspense.

Scene 32 became a suspense scene. I spent a lot of time on this scene. My MC is still reacting to her husband’s death, as well as her father’s. My worry was that she would come off whiny. And, maybe she does, but I try to make of for that in my next scene.

Scene 32A became an action scene. And I followed Rosenfeld’s suggestion, and quickly stripped away almost all inner thoughts and emotions. I let her react like a tigress defending her son. And, I think, she comes off as powerful and driven. She is successful in this fight, not because she is a kick-ass guy with boobs. She is successful because she is highly proficient with a bow. And, by using it, she is able to negate strength and speed that men have over her. I was proud of her.

One thing I want to go back and look at is the fight sequence itself. I think I fell into too much of a pattern with three and four line paragraphs. One after another, after another. If I stick in some odd speaking here and there, and allow her a few thoughts now and then, I think those regular steps of paragraphs will dissolve into random sizes, with incomplete sentences and hanging whatevers.

I will tackle that next time

Scene 33 (May 20th)

Scene 33 became three scenes. I took some of the ideas I’d not used in Scene 32 and moved them into the Scene 33 bucket. And then I went to work, making Scene 33 dramatic, Scene 34 suspense, and Scene 35 dialog.

Scene 33 became dramatic. Her reaction to battle, and having killed someone for the first time, was perfect. Mix that emotion in with anger in her grieving process, and she takes it out on people who may not deserve it. But she is furious at having been put in peril and having to defend her son in a situation which very nearly ended in disaster. I hope readers see her anger as justified.

Scene 33A became suspense. Even though they had won their battle, they are still in grave danger. And, at the end of the scene, the enemy discovers them, and people have to make sacrifices for her and her son to escape.

Scene 33B became dialog. It was new. For a mini-mystery in Part Three, I needed to plant some information. So, one of my characters makes a trip none of us had planned. And, later, one of my junior villains will say and do things which raise my characters suspicions. But that is a tale for another scene.

How Am I Doing?

I have 33 of 74 scenes revised or rewritten. I’m loath to admit I just added three scenes. I will wait until I’m done to see how many I actually wind up with. I reached 55,083 words. I’m 1,358 words over my target. But, since I’m now trying to hit 60,000 words, I think I will be very close.

Like this:

Revisions

Scenes 30 and 31

How come I can’t remember more of that old song than that. I suppose I could YouTube it, but that would spoil it.

Oh, and not just cowboys climb up in that saddle to ride. Ha.

Scene 30 (May 11th)

Revising scene 30 challenged me. I still had my original POV. But, my original scene played heavily against what had happened in scene 29. And, since scene 29 bore no resemblance to my first version, I had to change my focus.

Finding my focus didn’t take long. Since I’d decided on drama this time, I needed to force my POV into some sort of painful decision. He finds himself in circumstances that are spinning out of control. And he finds himself relying on people he doesn’t like or trust very much.