Tragedy struck Berkeley this week when a big rig truck carrying petroleum crashed into a firearms factory that happened to be celebrating Chinese New Year. Over twenty employees were killed instantly by the panoply of explosions that followed, and an additional ten people were killed when shrapnel struck a fleet of hot air balloons which were racing overhead.

Onlookers reported that they were stunned, amazed, and highly entertained by the disaster which then spread and caused further explosions in the city’s coal, water, and sodium districts. The response was so overwhelmingly positive that rescue efforts were hampered by twenty minutes of standing-room only applause around the site of the burning factory.

“Holy shit!” one witness driving by the scene remarked, before accidentally swerving his car off the road and into a balloon stand.