The Lessons I've Learned

by Guitar Whizz

Since finding this site earlier this year, I have learned an awful lot.
I learned a lot by reading this site each day, as well as other sites and
ebooks on seduction, but I have also been out into the real world to field
test ideas.

I have had successes, but I've also made a lot of mistakes, and I have
decided to write an article on what lessons I can learn from them. This
will help me organize things in my head a bit more clearly as well as perhaps
be of use to some of you other developing DJs out there.

So here goes...

1. Opportunities to Pick Up Girls

I realized I would miss so many opportunities to approach girls. I would
make some excuse to myself as to why I shouldn't approach, that I'd wait
until a "better" opportunity came along. I guess I was hoping that the "perfect"
opportunity would arise and then I'd be able to approach no problem.

But the perfect opportunity never came.

(By "perfect" I mean all the right signals from her, nobody else around
watching, girl who isn't in a group or with friends, etc... all lame excuses.)

Lesson learned: There is no such thing as a perfect opportunity, only
lots of chances to meet girls that you must grab immediately and turn them
into an opportunity for you.

2. Inner Confidence

I would often go out to practice my approaches, and I'd be all pumped
up, confident and ready for action. Then I'd miss several opportunities
(as I mentioned above) and my mindset would go downhill.

I'd then get mad at myself, fear/panic would set in and I'd kind of "outpsyche"
myself. I'd then not feel confident enough to do any approaches.

I have now learned my lesson: When you go out to pick up girls, you must
get the ball rolling as soon as possible. Don't chicken out on the first
few opportunities and hope that you'll approach when you feel better. No,
no, no! You must start approaching immediately, so that negative thoughts
do not take over, and you will feel fine after the first approach or two.

3. Hesitation

Number 2 above is linked to hesitation, but I've also found that if I
hesitate, the girl goes away and then I am left wondering what might have
happened if I had approached.

So the lesson learned here is: Whenever you see your opportunity, don't
wait. Approach as soon as possible otherwise she will be gone forever.

4. Feeling Like You Are Out of Place or Everyone Is Watching You

Have you ever been out picking up girls, and felt that all eyes were
on you or something similar? Well let me tell you, I have too. And it feels
awful.

I am not talking about lack of confidence to approach girls here. I'm
talking about simply feeling ill at ease in the place you're in because
you know you've gone out specifically to do pickups.

Well, I have often felt like this, but then I thought to myself, "do
I look at other people on the street/in the bar/etc. and think 'he/she looks
ill at ease or out of place'?" The answer is No! I couldn't care less what
others think/feel because I am concerned with MYSELF. Therefore, others
do not care or notice your "ill at easeness" because it is simply ALL IN
YOUR MIND.

Lesson learned: Don't worry about these sorts of feelings -- nobody is
watching you, nobody cares, so just do your approaches. You are not doing
anything wrong. This is the most natural thing in the world and you are
above all the average guys out there who are living in their comfort zones.
This bad feeling is all in the mind.

5. Fear and Comfort Zones

I would go out a lot and I would subconsciously be thinking "why is this
so difficult?" or "why is it so hard to push through fear?" I have realized
that EVERYBODY lives in their own "comfort zone", which is determined from
past programming. To do something outside of your comfort zone, such as
approaching a girl and starting a conversation, involves PUSHING THROUGH
THE FEAR BARRIER.

Lesson learned: In order to change, you must try new things... things
that are outside of your comfort zone. And in order to push outside your
comfort zone you must push through the fear barrier. Only then will your
comfort zone expand and you can conquer that fear. What you used to fear
will now be within your comfort zone and you will no longer fear it.

6. Conviction

No, I'm not talking about criminal convictions here! I'm talking about
doing everything with regards to seduction with conviction (i.e. giving
100% AT ALL TIMES and not doing it half heartedly).

A lot of the times I've approached girls, the nerves would be flying
all around my body and I'd kind of hesitate in conversation, not do enough
eye contact, or hold back my cocky and funny, etc. I guess it's kind of
like dipping your hand into something you're not sure about, such as water
that is quite hot -- you dip your hand in cautiously, then maybe pull it
back, but then you realize the water isn't that hot so you eventually dip
your hand in without worrying.

Seduction is kind of similar. You don't know how the girl will react,
and your nerves and fear are kicking in. So you kind of "dip in" cautiously.
But this will only backfire, because you will come across as less confident,
and therefore less of a man, and your chances with her will diminish.

So the lesson this time is: Even if you are nervous (and we all are to
begin with!), just dig in and give 100% to every pickup you do. Don't worry
about the outcome, just concentrate on giving everything to this seduction.
And then whatever happens, you know you have done your part and if she rejects
you then too bad for her.