Sehwag to throw a grand party for selectors for not sending him to South Africa

New Delhi. After there were reports of Sehwag and Gambhir being caught uploading their resumes on job sites, now comes the news that both of them have instead expressed happiness and thanked selectors for not having selected them for the ongoing South Africa tour.

“Yay! My career is not over,” screamed Viru.

They are even planning to throw a lavish party in Delhi to express their gratitude towards the selectors.

Faking News spoke to Sehwag while the dasher was returning to the pavilion after playing a brilliant knock of 5 in a domestic game, where he started off with an upper-cut boundary.

“I failed to understand why I was being ignored even after giving starts like these. I was even willing to play as a fast bowler. But they still ignored me. However, it was only after watching yesterday’s match that I realized they probably had greater plans for me like unleashing me on Bangladeshis whenever we have a series with them,” said a visibly content Viru.

Not only Gambhir and Sehwag, the selectors and BCCI came in for praise even by a few Indian fans on Twitter. “Kudos to the BCCI for ensuring there are only 3 ODIs to lose!” was one such tweet praising BCCI.

Though people and players back in India were happy with selectors for the first time, the mood in Indian camp was far from relaxed in South Africa. Faking News tried to speak to some of them to know their state of mind.

“I thought after all these years of my performance overseas, even Bishen Singh Bedi would have a better chance of getting selected ahead of me. But they still selected me! Can’t understand why are they hell bent on finishing my career?” Raina cried while buying an 8-inch high heel to counter short ball in Johannesburg.

Faking News also tried talking to Yuvraj but couldn’t reach him as he was reportedly busy taking tips from Sachin over the phone on how to write an outstanding farewell speech.

As always, Dhoni had a different take on the whole issue.

“It is just one game. Mr. Srinivasan has sent some India Cements sacks so that we can put that cement on our practice pitches that we carried from India. We will bounce back,” the captain cool said.