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Oh friends what a journey I have been on this year. I have said it before but please DO NOT chose the word DEPEND as your One Word if you don’t want a year full of stretching! 😉

I feel like I have been on a bit of a roller coaster lately, but you know it is ok. I do know that God is working out some beauty in all of this and am trusting that He will be the One on which I can depend through it all.

He is faithful. He is steady.

When I am not, I can trust that He is.

I discovered this even more when I was on a family vacation in early June and I am sharing some of the newest things God has been revealing to me about myself over at God-sized Dreams today. Will you join me there?!

Community has been on my heart since I attended Allume in October. I have always had a longing to build community, but I hadn’t yet felt the calling to really implement it in my own home town. It is scary and exciting all at the same time. We are introducing some really fun things at our church here in MN and I wait in eager anticipation to see what God will do with and through all of it.

I thought that was what I was going to write about this month, until I experienced community in a completely overwhelming and different way recently. It was unexpected and born out of a trial, but sometimes community looks like a rally cry. And through this I have learned that we are stronger together.

I felt desperate.

But even with the people that I am most comfortable with, I want there to be the appearance of having it all together. (<====Click to Tweet)

Especially as the “leader” of this fine group of women, if I shared my reality…what would they all think?

But God has been showing me all year that I must have full dependence on Him, and sometimes it means that I need to be willing to ask for help.

So I sucked up my pride and sent a message to the women on this team here at GSD’s.

Honestly, I just got chills again as I think about what happened next…..

I am sharing the rest of this story over at God-sized Dreams today. Will you join me there?!

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On my way to Houston to celebrate my birthday, I had a short layover in Chicago. It was just getting dark as we were flying into the Chicago area. Lights below were starting to twinkle and it was a beautiful sight.

Looking out my window, I could see the airport below, and watched as we flew right past it, headed out to the edge of the city, and finally over the waters of Lake Michigan below.

Then there were a couple of what seemed like sharp turns to get us headed back toward the airport. It likely seemed a little more scary because we could see the frozen waters below, dark and uninviting.

But as we started back towards the city we straightened out and the view that I saw was breathtaking.

Sometimes in this dream-chasing journey, I get stuck. My focus is on the end result, the destination. How soon will I get there? When will my dream ever come to fruition? “Are we there yet, mom”….oh wait, that is another type of trip! 😉

But really, have you been there?

Been headed towards that goal, maybe even been to the place where you can see the end in sight and then there is what seems to be a detour? You fly right past and think wait…where were the brakes?!

I am sharing some encouragement over at God-sized Dreams today, will you join me there?!

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I can hardly believe it, but I am sitting in the Minneapolis airport waiting to board a flight that will first take me to Chicago and then shortly thereafter, Houston, Texas.

On Thursday night around 8:30pm I got the surprise of a lifetime when I came downstairs after painting some more and sat down to send an email….I opened my computer and inside was the letter pictured above.

As I started to read it my eyes filled with tears, Gabriel had been in the room and he grabbed it from me and started reading it aloud. Dominic apparently at this point was taping me with his phone…. (The video is hilarious and I sound like a freak – if we are friends on FB you can see it there!)

On Saturday I was to report to the Minneapolis airport and would be flying to somewhere unknown for a special early birthday weekend.

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe that someone would do something like this for me and to pull off all the details….amazing.

My second thought after “are you serious, how can this be??”, was “yikes, I haven’t painted my toenails in weeks.” What can I say, vanity has been a struggle for me! 😉 Because I didn’t know for sure where I was going (although I had a strong suspicion) I wasn’t sure exactly what warmth of clothes I should pack. But the reality is that most of the south right now is dealing with cold weather themselves, so anything I would wear during the fall/early winter should work.

So that night I packed what I could, tried to get Dominic to tell me ANYTHING, which he would not…and proceeded to walk around for the next day and 1/2 with a silly grin on my face.

This is too much.

On my route to MSP this morning I got a call from Gindi and she finally confirmed where I was headed. She said that back in December Delonna had started a secret vox chain with her, Gindi and Christine. They wanted to plan something super special for my upcoming 40th birthday.

These women are such an unbelievable gift to me. To think that just a few short years ago we were all strangers…oh God brought them into my life for such a time as this.

God knew…

Just 4 years ago in November I lost my best friend Karlena. A few months before she passed away I planned a secret trip to go and visit her. I worked with her husband and her MIL to arrange all the details and travelled to see her for the weekend. I was pregnant with our girl and Karlena had been so sick the few months prior that I just wanted to cheer her up.

It was a wonderful time, and the last time that I saw her alive. I will always cherish that weekend.

Losing your best friend leaves a hole….and it was one that I didn’t expect would ever be filled again.

But God.

Oh those 2 words that seem to define so many of the remarkable moments in my life.

But God knew, and somehow a group of 99 women were chosen for a book launch, and then several of us broke off to encourage one another in a mastermind group, and finally a God-sized dream was birthed and a website was born.

And from that group, friendships were born.

From across the miles, voxer has kept us connected. Life has been shared, tears have been shed, cheering has ensued. These women are have filled my life to overflowing, and this…this birthday surprise?

It is the gravy.

Christine and Delonna weren’t able to to join us in person, schedules, work commitments etc., made it tough to find a way for all of us to be together. So instead, Gindi is hosting me for a weekend full of SO MUCH.

Seriously you should see the agenda, I am almost speechless.

But the fact that these three women worked so hard, schemed, planned and made arrangements with my husband, got ideas from my mom….it is just so much.

I don’t feel like I deserve it, but I am marveling in the lavish love that God has for me that he would place these women in my life so that in the month of my 40th birthday I would be treated to a surprise weekend. Something only the #birthdaybandits could do.

Ok, I probably should stop writing now because just thinking about it is bringing me to tears and the other people in the waiting area at the airport are going to start giving me the crazy eyes. 😉

Thank you doesn’t seem like enough…and I am sure that I will have more to share as the weekend unfolds, but for now, as I wait to board my flight I want to just say thank you. Gindi, Delonna, Christine, Dominic and my mom….for everything that you did to make this weekend possible, I am humbled by your gift.

Speechless (almost) and overwhelmed. I wasn’t really depressed about 40…but now, this? I am entering into this new season full of joy and hope. I love you all!

Our family just spent a week up in a “cabin”…which in this case is code for very large home on a lake with its own theatre room which was ridiculous…except for a few of the bathrooms that only provided cold showers, we were surrounded in luxury. It was nice to get away from the “normal” and spend time with my extended family.

My dad commented that most years we get about 4 hours together at Christmas, and this year we had several days. It was a treat and a blessing that God provided for us. Yes, God has really provided for us this year. It hasn’t come without hard work, long hours and sacrifices…but He has been good.

I have been thinking a lot about the past year and what I thought 2014 was going to bring. In some ways I can’t believe that it is over and in others 2015 can’t come fast enough.

One of the biggest and continued blessings of 2014 has been the community of women that God has surrounded me with. Women that support and encourage me. Women that pray over me and love without judgement. These women in my tribe are the greatest gift I could have ever received this year. While community wasn’t what I was seeking when I started this God-sized Dream journey 2 years ago, it has been better than I could have hoped or imagined.

At the beginning of 2014, with wobbly and knocking knees, I shared my hopes to be called to the platform and speak. It terrifies me even still because even thinking about it makes me want to throw up a little, but still it is a calling that I feel. And while 2014 brought only 2 opportunities, one for my husband and I together at church and another at a local MOPS group early in December, both were an honor to be a part of.

I think starting the year, sharing that dream, I thought that maybe there would be something “bigger”…but I was reminded recently when listening to my 40 Day Prayer Challenge devotional by Mark Batterson, that I don’t have to influence thousands….maybe God calls me to be an influence to 1 who then goes on to influence thousands. Each is important. And so while my dream to speak didn’t end up looking like I had hoped, it was a blessing to be given an opportunity to share my story at all.

Because our stories matter, don’t they?! Our hurts and our hopes, they need to be shared. I have said before that I started blogging because of one woman who was brave enough to share the difficult…and her testimony and faith were what got me through a very dark time in my own life.

If you feel called to share your story, do it! We may not get a book deal, or a viral post….but our words may touch the heart of another who is hurting and THAT my friends is what makes it worth it!

At the beginning of the year I also felt challenged to find balance for my home, work and family. I felt like God wanted that for me and so I made it my word for 2014. And can I just say that challenge was a FAIL. Like a BIG TIME FAIL.

I think I walked away from 2014 with less balance than I started! 😉 So if you feel the same don’t feel discouraged! I am reminded once again that this road we are on is one of progress, not perfection. It is easy to look back at our year and feel like we have missed the mark. But I don’t want to end this year focusing on all the things that I didn’t get done, or I didn’t do well. Because intermixed in those failures are so so many blessings. And that is what I want to remember!

There has been growth in ways I hadn’t expected. Approximately 3 months ago I started my first 40 Day Prayer Challenge. I wasn’t sure what I expected, and with my track record of starting but not finishing so many other things….I didn’t hold high expectations for me on this. But yesterday I finished my 2nd 40 day challenge!

I have journaled through the process and while some of the prayers are yet to be answered, I have seen God moving and I can’t wait to keep going. I even got a new Prayer Circle Journal from my dear friend Delonna and it will be the perfect way to start praying through 2015!

Yes God has been moving.

So I leave 2014 filled with gratitude. No it didn’t always work out like I had hoped or imagined, but each step was a learning experience, an opportunity to grow, and for all of those things I am thankful.

And 2015? I thought I had a word to start the new year and now I feel like God has given me a different word. Because of course, and a little thank you to Christine who spoke life and truth to me this morning that helped in that revelation! I will share more about that tomorrow though.

Until then, can I just end this by saying thank you. Thank you for walking with me here, For encouraging me, believing in me. For each uplifting comment, and those who shared my writing. I know that many of us haven’t met in real life, but I count you all friends. You make this journey worth it! Happy New Year friends!

As you may have seen from our posts and pictures, several of our core writing team traveled from across the country and met at Allume this past October. It was fun to spend time together as a team, and an amazing opportunity to meet with so many new friends and dreamers as well.

We decided to host a little “meet-up” so we could visit with some of these new friends in person. While the majority of us who gathered ended up being part of the original God-sized Dream team, it was a wonderful time to come together and share about where we have been and how we see God leading and moving in our lives and dreams going forward.

Prior to the meet-up, I was up in my hotel room with one of my roommates and fellow GSD writer, Delonna. We were gathering up everything we needed to bring downstairs. Before we walked out the door, Delonna asked me if I thought she should change her shirt.

Now Delonna is a die-hard Ohio Buckeyes fan. DIE-HARD. Whooo, watching a game with this woman was an experience, especially when the game went into overtime. Yikes! 😉

She had been wearing her Ohio State T-shirt all day and wondered if she should change it. I probably looked at her with my crazy eyes and asked her why she would do that?

She said she wanted to make sure that she was making the right impression at the meet-up.

I told her she looked beautiful and to keep the T-shirt on! 🙂

This got me to thinking the next morning in the shower (that IS where I do my best thinking…I really need a recorder in my shower so I can get all these thoughts and prayers down during that time!!)

We always want this space to be a place where you can come as you are.

I am sharing the rest of this post over at God-sized Dreams, will you join me there?!

I love how nature can teach me so many lessons about my life and my faith walk.

When my family and I were vacationing this summer we took a drive through Spearfish Canyon, in Spearfish, South Dakota. It is a beautiful drive with several places to stop and explore. The canyon walls in places were very steep, and trees littered the landscape.

I started to notice that there were several places where very large trees stood standing with the majority of their roots fully exposed. Rain and washout of the canyon foundations left the roots open to the elements.

And yet the trees stood strong, seemingly unfazed.

At one point in our drive we pulled off to hike to a small waterfall. Here too I found several places where the trees foundations had been washed away, yet the roots seemed firmly planted deep in the ground.

Ephesians 3:14-19 “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family[c] in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

In late July my family and I took a road trip out to the Black Hills of South Dakota. As we were driving I noticed several abandoned homes scattered throughout the landscape.

High on a hill the house stood, windows broken, door weathered. The once straight roof was wavy with time and wear. Gaps between the boards in the walls were visible. Clearly this place had been long since abandoned.

And I couldn’t help but wonder who had graced the spaces of that home?

A newly married husband and wife, seeking to start a new adventure on the plains? Did children run in the adjacent fields? Young men eager to farm the land and provide for their families?

Dreams start that way don’t they?

We feel the trill of a new start, we anticipate all of the positives and try not to focus on any of the negatives. We push forward in faith, maybe with a little fear, but filled with hope and the promise of what’s to come.

And if we are lucky all those hopes, those dreams and ideas are fulfilled. But it doesn’t always end that way does it?

The take-off began in the haze that had settled over Houston. The higher we climbed the cloudier it got.

It was bumpy at the onset, so my eyes were closed for a few minutes, and as I opened them we were just rising above the cloud line. Land was visible below in small spaces between the fluffy white clouds. I had a strong sense of the emerging that had just occurred. The layer that just minutes before been hazy and difficult to see through, was now clear and beautiful.

I started taking pictures with my phone, it may or may not have been “legal” at that point, but I couldn’t stop taking in Gods beauty.

The tops of the clouds looked like cotton balls that had been stretched apart for the beard of a Kindergarten Santa project. Soft and inviting, comfortable even!

As the plane rose, the skyline changed once again. I am not a meteorologist (BIG shocker I know!!) so I don’t know the technical term, but the next layer of clouds was flat, like fog almost. But off in the distance were spots where clouds were shooting up into the sky above in billowy formations.

I wondered if storms were brewing below them.

Have you ever been in a place that right where you are is flat and calm but you were able to see the storms on the horizon? You are sure something is happening just below the surface but you aren’t positive what it is. Will it bring a difficulty? A time of testing? Maybe an opportunity to trust in God?

Hey friends, lean in close, and let me tell you a secret. I can be a wonderful encourager of others to follow their dreams, but when it comes to my own? Well let’s just say that I often find myself making excuses and shaking in my boots!

I had the rare opportunity to spend a little bit of time at the park with my sister and our kids one weekend recently, and as we talked I realized once again that this dreaming business is hard for so many of us!

Beth, who is younger and has the beautiful straight hair I always wished for, is doing a little dream chasing herself very soon. But it wasn’t easy for her to come to that jumping off point and go for it. Beth has a beautiful voice. She was part of concert choir and show choir in high school, and even took voices lessons at one point along the way, but somewhere I believe that her faith in her abilities faded and she stopped singing for and in front of others.

I completely understand the feeling.

I sing on the worship team at church and want to throw up every Sunday that I stand on the altar at the front – all those eyes looking at me.

I once had a 3 line “solo”, if you can call it that when the congregation is singing along with you, and my voice started to shake so bad…it simultaneously terrifies and exhilarates me. I love to sing, I have always loved it but somewhere along the way my confidence in any talent I may have, went down the drain.

Beth shared with me that since American Idol first came on the air she thought about auditioning. When she turned 27 and officially was “too old” to try she felt a sadness about it. Then she heard about the show The Voice. Twice she signed up to go and audition, but life and maybe a little fear got in the way, and she didn’t follow through with it.

She said that every time she thought about the fact that she hadn’t done it, she felt a pit in her stomach. (Sounds like a dream trying to bust out to me!!)

I am so excited to share the rest of this story with you over at God-sized Dreams – please join me and leave a little encouragement for my amazing sister! 🙂

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I am Kristin! Wife to Dominic and mother to 4 amazing children. We live in SW MN and when I do write I share about my faith, my family and my failings and the God that redeems it all! So glad you are here!