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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Slip

I feel stupid. I don't like feeling stupid, especially when diabetes is the cause.

I have a small cut on my thumb from a kitchen knife. Emphasis on small. Deeper than a paper cut, but not that deep. Nowhere near needing stitches or anything. Enough to smart some and be highly annoying, mostly.

Psychically, I'm fine. But a small moment has the wheels in my head spinning. Because diabetes.

I was cutting up an avocado. I'd already cut it in half, and stuck my knife into the pit to twist it out. Somehow the knife blade slipped and I nicked my thumb. I found out after the fact that I was low. I was low and didn't know it and cut my thumb.

Now I'm clumsy by nature, and if this had happened with a higher bg, I'd attribute it to clumsiness and not give it a second thought. But I was low. And I make a point of not using sharp things while low. Because I'm afraid I'll hurt myself.

Am I being overly dramatic? Yes. Definitely. But still.

I hate being low. I hate that diabetes has the ability to take away my ability to control my own body. That I can't trust myself when I'm low. It's frightening and infuriating all at the same time.

My thumb is fine. I still feel stupid, but am totally blaming diabetes.