The Ladies' Vase eBook

IMPORTANCE OF GOOD MANNERS.

There is something in the very constitution of human
nature which inclines us to form a judgment of character
from manners. It is always taken for granted,
unless there is decisive evidence to the contrary,
that the manners are the genuine expression of the
feelings. And even where such evidence exists—­that
is, where we have every reason to believe that the
external appearance does injustice to the moral dispositions;
or, on the other hand, where the heart is too favorably
represented by the manners—­there is still
a delusion practiced upon the mind, by what passes
under the eye, which it is not easy to resist.
You may take two individuals of precisely the same
degree of intellectual and moral worth, and let the
manners of the one be bland and attractive, and those
of the other distant or awkward, and you will find
that the former will pass through life with far more
ease and comfort than the latter; for, though good
manners will never effectually conceal a bad heart,
and are, in no case, any atonement for it, yet, taken
in connection with amiable and virtuous dispositions,
they naturally and necessarily gain upon the respect
and goodwill of mankind.

You will instantly perceive—­if the preceding
remarks be correct—­that it is not only
your interest to cultivate good manners, as you hereby
recommend yourself to the favorable regards of others,
but also your duty, as it increases, in no small degree,
your means of usefulness. It will give you access
to many persons, and give you an influence over those
whom you could otherwise never approach; much less,
whose feelings and purposes you could never hope,
in any measure, to control.

“If I should point you to the finest model of
female manners which it has ever been my privilege
to observe,” says a late writer, in a letter
to his daughter, “and one which will compare
with the most perfect models of this or any other
age, I should repeat a venerated name—­that
of Mrs. Hannah More. It was my privilege, a few
years ago, to make a visit to the residence of this
distinguished female; a visit which I have ever since
regarded as among the happiest incidents of my life.
At that time, she numbered more than fourscore years,
but the vigor of her intellect was scarcely impaired;
and, from what she was, I could easily conceive what
she had been when her sun was at its meridian.
In her person, she was rather small, but was a specimen
of admirable symmetry. In her manners, she united
the dignity and refinement of the court, with the
most exquisite urbanity and gentleness which the female
character, in its loveliest forms, ever exhibited.
She impressed me continually with a sense of the high
intellectual and moral qualities by which she was
distinguished, but still left me as unconstrained as
if I had been conversing with a beloved child.
There was an air of graceful and unaffected ease;
an instinctive regard to the most delicate proprieties