Monday, September 19, 2005

The solution in hand

If I had taken upall the offersconsequentially, com-pleted each treatment& returned for more,my penis would stretchfrom here to theWhite House or the Mongolian border. Iwould no longerhave to work. Thoseparts under watercould be leased out as a submarine cable or a seismicdetection device. Slightlymodified I could beused for mineral &oil exploration. Addhooks & I could feedthe village for a year with the fishI caught. On land& with a catheter camerainserted into my urinarytract I would be a spy device. Satellites areall very well, but thinkof the advantages ofon-the-groundsurveillance. &, as Isnaked my way acrossthe North Americancontinent, parts of mecould appear at everyState Fair I passedthrough. Then there’s the added bonuses. Myoverseas friendscould give me head. Plus.Anybody disgruntled with U.S. policy could hire meout, the one-shot wonder,the only person able topiss on the President from a great height length.