The REMAKE/REMODEL meme is one of my favourite things. Artists need a place to show off and Whitechapel should always be It. A handful of entries will be showcased on Bleedingcool at the end of each challenge.

THE RULES:

This is for ART ONLY. Any pen-portraits, or crappy scribbles padded-out with words, will cause a deployment of the newly-trained Urethral Attack Maggots. And a banned account.

No stock-photo manipulation. No half-arsed bollocks. Anything deemed to be piss-takery will be nuked from orbit. Original photography is fine.

No more than ONE submission by any one person.

INSTRUCTIONS:

OLYMPIC FLAME

The good old Limpstyx Games begin in earnest in my own fair (read: grey, greasy, grim, grotty, grossly underwhelmed) city next weekend. We’re all just stoked about that. Really. Just totally, totally excited.

Anyway. What few people know is that, as part of the opening ceremony, the Olympic Standards Committee, in association with the Big 2 of the comics world, has funded an experimental bioweapons programme with, like, bubbling vats and cloning facilities and big consoles up the wazoo, and ductwork, and chrome stuff, and blinking lights and blah blah blah, to create a glorious figurehead; a guardian; a manifestation of the Olympic Spirit. The mightiest mascot of modern marvellousness.

He/she/it is OLYMPIC FLAME, and boy is he/she/it flamin'.

Quite possibly he’s a big, butch, multi-disciplinary athletic GodBloke who can light the Fiery Cauldron using, I dunno, his Raging Mutant Libido or whatever. Or possibly a cord-muscled steroidgirl with hairy shoulders. Probably he/she/it can shoot terrorists out of the sky, throw javelins at dirty commies, insists on the full bikini-look for the beach volleyball regardless of weather, and looks just Splendid doing a bit of dressage on a pony. Also, LASERBEAMS. And sponsorship. And MISSILES. On ROOFTOPS.

“In the time of the original games within the boundaries of Olympia, the altar of the sanctuary dedicated to the goddess Hestia maintained a continuous flame

“Flame from the ancient games was reintroduced during the 1928 Games. An employee of the Electric Utility of Amsterdam lit the first Olympic flame in the Marathon Tower of the Olympic Stadium in Amsterdam.[5]

“The modern convention of moving the Olympic Flame via a relay system from Greece to the Olympic venue began in 1936. Carl Diem devised the idea of the torch relay for the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin that was organized by the Nazis under the guidance of Joseph Goebbels.”

This reminds me of the time I did hold the Olympic torch for a few minutes. It was the time when the Sydney torch was making its progress to the Sydney Games in 2000. It was in the paper that the torch was going to pass through the capital, and I set out to be at the point where the torch would be passed on to its next bearer. I was quite surprised at the small turnout to see it; maybe most of them were at lunch. Anyway, the guy was waiting to receive the flame from the previous bearer. While waiting, he let me hold his torch while he took a photo with my camera! I've got the photo somewhere, probably in one of the albums.

Phew! Managed to get one of these done! (Sorry if it's blatantly obvious thing to go for and that it's a photo of a drawing rather than a decent scan... ALSO, if Locog are reading this: IT'S SATIRE!)

Down-at-heel former members of the pantheon of Greek Gods, who lost it all in the Greek Debt Crises - cast from Mount Olympus (the property now being in negative equity) are looking for work. Any sort of work. Zeus is in luck though, as Locog are desperately in need of a copyright enforcing deity.

(edited to add: *sigh* it's like I read Si's - "here's what it might be" and I went "well, that's just what I'll fucking draw then". More imagination next time, promise...)(edited to update the image to something that's been cleaned up and is a scan rather than a photo!)

You'll wake up tomorrow with an army of these round your bed before being carted off to the brig of HMS Ocean where they've got an array of miseries in store for you that'll make urethral attack maggots look cute. Sorry.

"With his mighty international Rings of Power, the pan-cultural Olympic Flame blazes across the sky, not infringing on any copyrighted properties or licensed symbols, but spreading the spirit of the Olympic Games, no matter where they are held. Consequently, his powers only function for two weeks every four years."

You know what this reminds me of? The reaction of the USOC to Ravelry's knitting while watching the games. They said it was an insult to the games and athletes, that it mocked their achievements to organize knitting while watching the olympics etc..

Needless to say, the Ravelry community (and thei grandmothers, in-laws and such of the olympic committee) were not pleased. The Olympic committee apologized twice, essentially begging them to stop mailing, phoning and clogging up the pipes. (..and presumably to stop hitting them with handbags.)

Guess he would be too chilly to spread the spirit at the winter games with an outfit like that.

Actually, it's more that he can only get funding to do the super-hero gig for the Summer Games, so until then it's "screw the Winter Games, let Captain Canuck handle it or something"....And yes, cold weather = shrinkage. No way is he going to risk that.