Thursday, April 03, 2008

We have here today a special treat, a guest post by David our resident marine biologist. After reading one of his favorite books, Dangerous Animals and watching his DVD Deadly Down Under he put together this guide for those of you who think Australia is all about cute little hoppy kangaroos and fuzzy-cuddly koalas.

May I present: things in Australia that can kill you. He wrote out the list then dictated the details to me and though I can't guarantee the authenticity of the facts it'll at least give you pause the next time you think about that lovely Australian vacation you've been dreaming of.

By David.

1. Box Jellyfish. It can kill you with its fifteen-inch long stinging tentacles. They can kill you in less than a minute, in my movie it showed this lady walking in the water and she ran into a box jellyfish and she started screaming but when the people pulled her out she was already almost dead. Don't touch them.

2. Blue-ringed Octopus. Its bite can paralyze its prey--in a hour, probably? It's NOT the most toxic poison in the world because they say that about all sorts of things but its one of them.

3. Black Rat. The most common rat is the brown rat but that one isn't as deadly as the black rat. The black rat has bacteria in its mouth so when it bites you get all sorts of germs on you and you die. You can die from them if the doctor hasn't done the right thing to you.

4. Bulldog Ant. Ten stings by the bulldog ant can kill a human it is one of the most deadliest insects in the world. It has long pincers that can pinch you bad and probably you can get stitches from it. Let's go to the next one because I like this one.

5. Funnel Web Spider. One drop of the funnel-web spider's venom can kill a human. It is the most deadliest spider in the world. To trap its prey it has a big sticky web over three branches on a tree and a hole in the middle where the spider is hidden. When the insect comes down on the tree branch the funnel web spider scurries out and grabs its prey and sinks its fangs into it. By then the insect would be dead. It pulls it into its burrow for it to feed. And that's all.

6. Dingoes. They travel in packs, they eat meat, they're like all other wild dogs. They can pretty much attack you and rip you apart--kind of violent isn't it? Some animals are that way.

7. Black Widow Spider. The black widow was named that because it was black and because it eats its husband which pretty much makes her a widow which is why she's called the black widow. The black widow is the second deadliest spider next to the funnelweb. It is found all over the world. Except Alaska. Its bite is deadly to humans and can kill them in about a day. A lot of people are scared of spiders. I'm not but they are kind of shocking when they just appear out of nowhere.

8. Estuarine Crocodile. The estuarine crocodile is the fourth largest crocodile in the world. It has usually sixty teeth. It is like all other crocodiles because lies awake for its prey, feeds on meat and can harm humans. It is smaller than the Indo-Pacific [yes, he really used that word] crocodile and the saltwater crocodile. It is the length of--I don't know--probably thirty feet long. Salt water crocodiles are like sixty feet long. And that's all I want to say about that.

9. Black-headed Sea Snake. This is the most venomous snake according to my book. It is named the black-headed sea snake for its black head. It is a sea snake for its paddle-like tail which is flattened and can swim well. It is usually caught in fish nets when catching fish and gets threatened and bites the sailors. They will die in an hour. And that's all I guess.

10. Tapin. It's a snake. Its bite can kill 1,200 rats. It is very dangerous to humans. It is called the tapin for its s-like body. When its head is standing up it is shaped like an s. I don't know why but that's what it says in my book.

11. Great white shark. This is an endangered predator and the most dangerous shark thing in the sea. They're white underneath and grayish on top. Great white sharks eat mostly anything but they don't like to eat people because they're fattening.

And that's all.

Maybe Australia isn't as dangerous as he thought because he could only come up with eleven ways to die. Consider yourself lucky.

So this is why people move to New Zealand, which does not have a single predatory/dangerous species!I was born and raised in South Africa, and here in the UK people laughed when I said that I didn't want to be eaten, when we were discussing death in a church meeting. Hmmm. I know what I am talking about!

Not surpised at all by this list. I have always heard that Australia-especially Australian waters is dangerous. But I wonder if the average person is even in places where they are exposed to any of these dagnerous things. I heard a person from California say to me on a plane once..."Don't you have TORNADOES in Ohio?" I laughed. We do. But in 45 years I have never seen one up close, and never been touched by one. Sure others have...then I said, "Don't you have earthquakes..." and she laughed!

Well, there are always car accidents and drowning, if you want to get up to 13.

Scary, yet fascinating creatures. That octopus is beautiful!

My sister-in-law doesn't want to visit our house in Texas because she saw a documentary on brown recluse spiders. And yet she went hiking in Turkey over spring break. *sigh* This list would definitely put her off ever visiting Australia!

What about riding the leader of the Brumbies like in the Man from Snowy River? That could kill you! Or getting kicked in the head by a kangaroo?Maybe he should watch some old episodes of the Crocodile Hunter, I am sure that would give him even more ideas...

That is it! I am tossing out all my boring old books on Australia and am now turning to David for all my facts (they are so much more entertaining). I am eagerly awaiting future installments to my new library.

OK, that's it. I just scratched Australia off my list of "places I want to see before I die" or maybe I ought to just make it the last place on the list! Give your son a high-five for his interesting knowledge.

My favorite parts are: "They can pretty much attack you and rip you apart--kind of violent isn't it? Some animals are that way." and the estimate of 60 foot crocodiles, and the notion that Great Whites don't like to eat people "because they are fattening." I laughed out loud.

But what really got me is that my son (who is four) says "and that's all" at multiple points in dictating stories to me too -- always after he's finished a particularly detailed description of something. Funny huh?

Well we do have many of the most deadliest here, especially when it comes to snakes. I think out the 10deadliest snakes, Australia is home to 9. Not the lovliest of thoughts.What an imagination. I got a good chuckle out of the croc's length. I love how it was written in his words. Great!Now, perhaps, a follow-up list highlighting the beauty of Australia is in order. :), as we don't want to scare everyone off. Not expecting our guest marine biologist to tackle that one however. I mean, come on, that would be far too boring and SAFE without all that deadly venom talk and poison and teeth and scariness.

I tell you, the fact that there are no black widows in Alaska is almost a convincing sales pitch for moving there.

Almost.

I'd be curious to see what kind of list he could come up with for Texas. We have black widows, all manner of snakes, coyotes and mountains lions and other forms of wild cats and dogs... I'm sure there's a ton more than I care to think about! :P

Very interesting! That blue-ringed octopus figured very prominently into the plot of Michael Crichton's book State of Fear. I have to confess as I read the book, I wasn't sure if there really was such an octopus. Now I know.

I love creepy crawlies and therefore, I LOVE this list. Can you thank David for me? My son is learning about animals now and I can use these facts. :-) (We just bought a new animal encyclopedia today, so this info will come in handy)

I've lived in teh Australian bush all my life & haven't had to go out with a shotgun to walk up the creek as we did on Admiralty Island when we were on holidays there, because of the bears during the salmon run. We loved Alaska & would happily return, despite the bears, that we didn't see. I would have to agree with the Austalian/Canadian that it is all what you are used to