Millions have been splashed out and a pigsty’s worth of mud slung but what have we actually learned from this election campaign?

â˘ Nicky Hagar knows a thing or two about marketing.

â˘ Cameron Slater isn’t as nice as he looks.

â˘ You can judge a minister by the company she keeps.

â˘ While the Whale Oil cabal give the impression they’ve watched too many episodes of House of Cards, their machinations owe more to Walter Mitty than Frank Underwood.

â˘ Hillary Clinton got the wrong Kiwi politician when she added Helen Clark to the select group – Keith Richards and cockroaches – that would survive nuclear Armageddon. She should have nominated Winston Peters.

â˘ Contrary to Tana Umaga’s famous complaint, some people seem to think we are playing tiddlywinks here.

Fair points. I also like the picture of Frank Underwood in the article, and since we are talking about House of Cards…who is going to play Zoe?

The campaign has also reinforced that just as truth is the first casualty of war, irony is the first casualty of politics.

There was Internet-Mana’s Laila Harre on the TV news complaining about the media manufacturing a news story out of a private email (Hone Harawira foaming at the mouth about the Internet Party’s preoccupation with legalising cannabis).

That was followed by David Cunliffe complaining about the timing of the release of a damning New Zealand Institute of Economic Research assessment of Labour’s capital gains tax arithmetic and accusing Federated Farmers, who commissioned the report, of “playing politics.”

A month ago Cunliffe was hailing Hagar’s carefully timed intervention in the election, predicting it would “shift hundreds of thousands of votes”. One man’s political stunt is another’s welcome contribution to the debate.

What the left calls âthe neoliberal experimentâ the right believes is the most progressive set of policies ever to have been implemented in the history of the world, that has lifted hundreds of millions of people out of poverty in China, South East Asia and (more slowly) India, as opposed to the alternative approach that has caused misery in much of South America and Europe.
We believe that everyone in New Zealand has gained from the post-1984 consensus and that a shift to what Cunliffe proposes would harm everyone in New Zealand.
We may of course be wrong.
But we believe this quite passionately.
So why would anyone surprised that people on the right are prepared to fight hard to stay in power?
Just like Helen Clark sent Mike Williams to Australia to find dirt on John Key (for the same motives).
To quote Michael Cullen, this is about power in NZ.
To quote Tana Umaga, itâs not tiddlywinks.
Is National meant to find evidence that Cunliffe is at best a hypocrite or at worst a liar and say âoh well, jolly good, letâs more onâ?
Get into the real world.
Even if the most sinister explanations for this letter becoming public are true, its all fair enough in war, love and politics.
And it will get worse for Labour when the rumoured $300k issue emerges.

What a relief to hear Kim Dotcom explain that he’s not a Nazi sympathiser – he just likes war games and making lots of money.

For a minute last week I was concerned the “vision leader” (as opposed to someone-you-can-actually-vote-for leader) of the new Internet Party was not the sort of person New Zealand really needed pulling political strings in an election year.

It isn’t a crime to buy a copy of the autobiography of one of the 20th-century’s most monstrous figures, unless you live in France, Germany, Austria or Hungary – which ban the sale of Nazi memorabilia.

And there are legitimate scholarly reasons for owning a copy of Mein Kampf. No doubt the book is in most major libraries in New Zealand.

But let’s be honest. Owning a rare first edition personally signed by Herr Hitler and gifted to Hermann Esser, one of the founders of the hated and feared Third Reich, is just a little bit creepy.

Actually, given Dotcom’s German nationality, it’s more than creepy. It’s boorish, stupid, crude, and unthinkably insensitive. Most Germans would rather collect excrement than have anything to do with a regime they remain deeply ashamed of to this day.

But then, most Germans don’t hold multiple identities, flee criminal charges, make a fortune out of hosting a web site that enabled large-scale internet piracy, live a self-described lifestyle dedicated to “fast cars, hot girls, super-yachts, amazing parties and decadence” before buying their way into a foreign country, fighting extradition to the United States on counts of fraud and racketeering and deciding to set up a political party dedicated to bringing down the prime minister.

Dotcom also feels it’s OK for a German to pose at a party wearing an SS helmet because “I’m a young guy [and] I’m not always politically correct”.Â Read more »

Graham Henry has stepped down as All Black coach following the team’s successful Rugby World Cup campaign.

Henry took over as All Black coach in 2004 and has been in charge for more than 140 matches in a career that included a series victory over the tour British and Irish Lions in 2005, five Tri Nations titles and three Grand Slam titles.

His last match in charge of the side was the All Blacks’ 8-7 victory over France in the Rugby World Cup final last month.

The 65-year-old finishes his All Blacks career as one of the most successful rugby coaches of all time: he coached the All Blacks to 88 wins in 103 tests for a winning percentage of 85.4 percent.

Henry said in a press conference today that he has no desire to coach again. However the New Zealand Rugby Union (NZRU) is discussing the possibility of retaining him as a coach mentor for the country’s leading coaches.

He said he was proud of what the team had achieved over the past eight years, saying the team had “added to the legacy of All Black rugby”

Dick Hubbard is an angry bitter lonely man. He has tired of the loneliness of being a loser and decided to strike out, as usual he missed his target.

Cr Aaron Bhatnagar sums up “the Dick’s” woes quite well.
[quote]After three years of failed big projects (Aotea “Outside the Square”, flip flops (rates, Waterfront Stadium) and disastrous PR (too numerous to mentioN), the Hubbard Mayoral taskforce for Sustainability was his only campaign tool left – a grab bag of cliches, feelgood blah and things the council were doing already as a packaged policy.

And now it’s gone, much like Mr Hubbard’s old leased Prius.[/quote]

Newsflash Dick!!! We don’t want to hear one word, not one more word from your mealy little socialist mouth, bugger off.

In an exclusive interview with Whaleoil, Cameron Brewer tells of his virtual kidnapping and torture by Hubbard and his Henchmen.

John Banks' former press secretary Cameron Brewer has told Whaleoil he was effectively hijacked by the Dick Hubbard's campaign team and made to speak into a video camera for the mayor's campaign website.

"I was terrified. They surrounded and cornered me and made me say things about Dick Hubbard. I felt very intimidated and afraid. I had just popped into a cafĂŠ in Newmarket when a couple of guys in matching pin-stripe suits with orange ties come up to me and indicated I needed to obey."

"The mind boggles what they would have done if I had refused to play ball. I found the whole experiencing frightening and what they made me say was simply humiliating. I was physically choking trying to get any supportive words out about Dick," said an emotional Mr Brewer who has since been in therapy.

Reminiscent of RAF pilots in the first Gulf War forced to praise Saddam, the video footage shows a grinning Mr Hubbard in on the torturous act and on the other side of Mr Brewer it is clear he is being prodded in the ribs with something.

Brewer was deeply hurt by this whole experience and now hangs his head in shame at not resisting more forcefully Hubbards Henchmen.

He says he is now frightened and ashamed to show his face in Newmarket shops and cafes and feels violated. His job now hangs in the balance as he can no longer schmooze and he has had to cut his lunch times down to 3 hours as a result.

We all know The Dick jinxed the America's Cup by saying on One News on 24 June.:

[quote]Dick Hubbard: "I've seen the boat, I've touched the bulb, I've held my hand on the wheel, I've looked in Grant Dalton's eyes. Yep we'll get it."[/quote]
What's more under such headlines as "Hubbard already planning revamp for hosting America's Cup" (New Zealand Herald, 8 June) the mayor waxed lyrical about the redevelopment of Queens Wharf as a potential base for the next series. In the council's weekly newsletter he boldly declared "we're ready to host the next America's Cup in Auckland" (City Scene, 19 June).

Then he then took it upon himself to fly to Valencia in the last days of the competition to âcheer on' Team New Zealand, may have sealed their fate. Team NZ promptly sank without trace after he and Clark turned up.

At the time we all gave him shit but doesn't seemed to have learned.

Apparently "The Dick" was talking up a tickertape parade on TV3 in an interview they had with him at half time during the French test, which was broadcast on Sunday night. Clark of course was there sneering and mumbling her way through the national anthem.

Clearly the two of them should not show their ugly mugs at the Netball World Cup or we'll be doomed at that as well.Â

I bet Dick Hubbard is wishing he never left a voicemail message on Cameron Brewer's cellphone. Not only has his pointless and puerile message given me and other fertile grounds for showing up his ineptitude, we got to do so repeatedly over several weeks. To add insult injury The Gluc has details about Cameron Brewer's bet with Dick and quotes me calling Dick, a Dick.

Priceless that message was, priceless for me and priceless for John Banks.

Come Saturday afternoon 13 October 2007 the raucous sound of shredders will be eminating from the ex-Mayors office and the wheelie bins will be pouring in as the left clears their desks.

i wonder who has that contract as it could well be very lucrative.

Alex Swiney will also be looking for another job surely. I mean it will be very hard to work with a Mayor you just spent the good part of $40k slagging off all over town with your silly billboards.

Maybe Me-chelle will organise something suitably sychophantic for him somewehere, either her or the 9 hangerson that constitute Swiney's fan club.

Rumours are starting to hit the street from the Mayor's office that his exit polling that he conducted last week is showing a trouncing that will significantly reverse his result from last time. Mayor Dick will shuffle off in ignominy destined to join the list of one term mayors of Auckland City.

Meanwhile John Banks should get to kick the curse once and for all making an astonishing comeback.

On Friday night Whaleoil will publish a predicted result for Auckland City.

Dick Hubbard has clearly lost interest in the mayoralty. Why? Well because he couldn't even be bothered responding to four simple questions asked by the East & Bays Courier along with Steve Crow and Alex Swney. All other candidates have answered the four questions about their vision for Auckland. the three mentioned above did not respond.

I guess that tell us a great deal about their vision when it is too hard to answer four simple questions. A quick check of the circulation details for the East & Bays Courier shows that it is delivered to 48,000 homes in the Eastern Bays area of Auckland City.

Speaking of Alex Swney, I hear that the Black Widow of New Zealand politics put ona Wine and Cheese function for Alex over at Waiheke. Word has it that only 15 turned up for the free plonk and cheese. If you count Me-chelle and her hubby, Alex and his lickspittle that means that of the fifteen only 11 people turned up for the free plonk. Not even the bludgers of Waiheke could be bothered turning up for free booze and to listen to the cackling of Me-chelle and Alex.