I need some lyrics to describe what I'm feeling

So right now, my dad is in the hospital, which isn't my problem. Everything was fine until he started a group message with a number I didn't recognize in it. I asked who it war and it was my sister. My sister left once when I was around 8 years old for about two months to go live with her biological mother. When she came back I was elated. And then she started changing. She hated my mom because she was her step mother, she would Argue and hit people and throw fits all the time, she started listening to really dark music and becoming very different. And then she left again when I was about 10. I didn't understand why at the time and I just wanted my sister back. She came back when my grandma died two years later and then left right after the funeral. My grandmas death on top of her leaving again put me into depression for a little while. Now I'm at the point where I will always love her and be there for her, but I do not want any contact with her unless she is in serious need of something. Does anyone know a song to describe the emotions I'm having?