Saturday, June 16, 2012

How are you? I can't believe it is June already. I'd like to say that I've had this amazing life changing 6 months and that is why I haven't written, but just life happened.

I took a new role on at my job which proved to be much busier than I thought. Then I started to get numbness in my hands, which subsequently spread to my arms and back. It was really odd. It affected my coordination. I couldn't run - I even fell in the hall when I was chasing little boy one day. I couldn't hold him very long because my strength was gone. So I relented and went to the doctor. Well, a few doctors. First specialist told me I needed surgery. Um, no thank you. I tried acupuncture. (which I highly recommend). I tried ignorning it. Surely it will get better.... Then went to a Neurosurgeon. There was that surgery word again. This time I listened. Mosly because he was recommended by other doctors I hold in high regard and was very conservative. He also told me that some of his colleagues would send me straight to the hospital for surgery.

Fine, I'll have the surgery. Oh, you mean you want me to have it Monday? But I'm supposed to be on vacation... Dang it.

Honestly, one of the reasons I didn't want to surgery is because I'm a huge baby and I knew I'd be in pain. But bigger than that was that I'd have to stop breastfeeding and I couldn't pick up little boy for three months. THREE MONTHS!

So I found out on Friday I was having surgery and would have to stop breastfeeding Monday. Add that to not holding my little boy and lets just say I've been a bit of a basket case. And I know its hard on him. I know there are people trying to figure out how old little boy is (18 months tomorrow) and thinking how odd I am for still breastfeeding. Hey, these things had to serve a purpose eventually. And I was going to stop after vacation, just wanted to do it on my terms. You know, like everything else in life.

So the surgery was two weeks ago. I can't drive. I can't go back to work yet. I can't take care of little boy. Um, how am I not depressed? Oh, I kinda am.

About Me

I was born in Florida and hated my parents when they moved me to NC at the age of 10. But I have loved it ever since. I am one of those few people who liked high school. I was lucky enough to attend UNC Chapel Hill and my children will have no choice but to do the same. It was there I met and married my wonderful husband. My life is wonderful, but completely different from how I envisioned. And thats ok with me!