How To Handle Too Large A Package

This week I received an e-mail regarding my column. At first I was apprehensive because the e-mail seemed like it could be just someone pulling my leg. Nevertheless, I felt that what they asked is an issue even if the proportions might be, shall we say, blown up a little.

Regarding your “sexpertise”:

Is it normal if my penis is nearly 12 inches long (it’s closer to 11.5)? I’ve heard that girls say that bigger is better but really only with the girth, yet others say nearly 12 inches is too long and that “it hurts when you go deep.” I’ve also had trouble finding condoms to fit my penis. So, I’ve tried magnums (extra-large), but on more than one occasion my penis has broken through the condom … during sex. I’m afraid that other girls aren’t on birth control, so would it be more safe to let it all go inside somewhere else (e.g., anal)? Every girl I’m with complains about sex hurting, and what can I say, I’m addicted to sex, … so no is not really an option. Also it kind of hurts for me, because it feels like there is something blocking me from going any further.

Please help! What should I do?

-Anonymous

Dear Foot-long Hot Dog,

I find it hard not to have heard about the “Ron Jeremy” of Transy’s campus, but penis size, whether too big or too small, can be a problem.

To help with the “too deep” complaint, let her control the depth of penetration. Certain positions can help do this, such as woman-on-top or “Lusty Lotus.” This is a position recommended by Cosmopolitan where the male sits on a chair and the female sits on top. These two positions both let her control how deep you go.

Even though the control is in her hands, these two positions also allow, if you want, to go the deepest possible. Therefore, these two positions are also good if the man is running on the smaller side. The reason these positions work for both sizes is the angle it puts the individuals in. Give the woman control and it’s the best for both sizes. How about that for feminism?

As for trying to find condoms to fit, the Trojan XL condom, the one you have been using, measures about 8 inches long. The safest bet for your predicament would be the largest condom on the market, the Durex XXL, which is 9.5 inches long. Now just taking that into consideration, your penis is too long, so you will need to be extra careful.

If the girl is complaining about pain, she obviously isn’t getting too much pleasure out of the experience. That being said, it most likely is very dry down there so using lubrication could help with giving her more pleasure, as well as more prevention of condom breakage. Make sure that if you are using a latex condom that you use a water-based lubricant, because oil-based ones can break down the latex, according to http://avert.org. This website is dedicated to preventing AIDS and HIV transmission.

It should be stated that the fact you are taking into consideration other forms of contraception besides condoms is honorable. Since you can’t always be sure of your partners’ birth control status and if they regularly take it, you can’t rely on it just like you can’t fully rely on a condom.
Just as a side note: Anal, in your case, probably wouldn’t be a good idea. More pain than it’s worth.

What you are hitting during sex is her cervix. This is the base of her uterus. Hitting this can be painful not only for you, but for her as well. It’s not completely plausible that you could penetrate her cervix since the opening in it is very small, but you should still be careful. Positions mentioned earlier can help her control you from hitting it.

Hopefully, one day, you’ll be able to find that girl that can handle your hot dog. Until then follow these tips to be as safe and to have as much fun as possible for the both of you.

Remember to write in to bbdavenport13@transy.edu to ask any questions you might have.

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