Woah, for a moment there I almost believed it was Linda Newberry writing this. I can't tell you how much I loved this. The ending of Shell House was a bit abrupt. Jordan and Greg really needed a closure.. a last scene together at the very least. I love how you let those two banter and diffuse the tension a bit instead of just jumping on top of each would never do that. He's so subtle.. so intelligent.. He has such a calm and controlled way of doing everything. He was very much in-character. Thanks a bunch.

This is beautiful! Unlike others, I think that the ending of the book is a very good one as it leaves the readers mind open; it leaves the reader to decide on an ending for themselves. However, if this was what was at the end of the book, i would be so very pleased because this is just amazing. You are extremely talented. Are you sure you aren't her? hahaha. Anyway, i would love it if you would write alternate endings? please? hahaha! excelent! :P x

Stigmatized, this is beautiful! You must know the characters and the book as thoroughly as the author does, to have entered into their world so thoroughly. I love the way you’ve used details, such as Greg thinking of his dream, and Maddy being disappointed when Jordan changed back to his usual seat in the English lessons. The idea of using star-watching as the setting for this scene was brilliant, as was Jordan’s encounter with a fit guy from another swimming team. And I love: “Greg smiled and nodded, realising that it was nearly impossible to go anywhere with Jordan and not learn something.” Then there’s the way you have used precise details of the Shell House setting – the site of the Pan statue which the boys had visited before.

The pace is very well handled too, allowing the tension between the two boys to show itself before the resolution. And Greg’s explanation of why he behaved as he did is utterly believable.

Two small criticisms: it’s sometimes confusing, difficult to tell who’s speaking, as in: ‘"Are you?" Jordan smiled and returned the nod …’ At first glance it appears that it was Jordan who spoke, but in fact it was Greg. You do this several times throughout the episode – a line break after the dialogue would help.

And: “a while later” is a bit of a cliché when writing about sex, leaving us unsure what actually happened. Are we to assume that they moved on from the kissing? But it’s very difficult to write well about sex, and the rules “less is more” is a good one. The kiss – and the emotion that went with it, the realization on Greg’s part that he hadn’t thrown everything away – would have been enough here.

Congratulations, though, on writing such a well-realised and moving addition to the story. I loved it.

I love this fic! I think that you really manage to capture the same writing style as the author and Greg and Jordan are really in character. It's very sweet and romantic, I wish something like this had been in the book.