Your mind is a weapon – keep it loaded!

Christian Democrat

You own two cows. Your neighbor has none. You keep one and give the other to your poor neighbor. After that, you regret it.

Socialist

You own two cows. Your neighbor has none. The government takes one from you and gives it to your neighbor. You will be forced to start a registered co-operative to help your neighbor with the animal husbandry.

Social Democrat

You own two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty because you work successfully. You vote people into the government taxing your cows. That forces you to sell a cow to be able to pay the taxes. The people you voted do take this money, they buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. They feel righteous. Udo Lindenberg sings for you.

Free Democrat

You own two cows. Your neighbour has none. So what?!

Communist

You own two cows. Your neighbor has none. The government confiscates both cows and sells the milk to you. You queue for hours for the milk. She’s sour.

Capitalist

You own two cows. You sell one and buy a bull to breed a flock.

EU Bureaucracy

You own two cows. The EU subductes both, pays you compensation, kills one, milks the other, pays also compensation for this, and then pours the milk into the North Sea.

American Company

You own two cows. You sell one and lease it back. You found a public limited company. You force the two cows to give four times more milk. You wonder when one falls dead. You give out a press release declaring that you have reduced your costs by 50%. Your stocks are rising.

French Company

You own two cows. You are on strike because you want to have three cows. You are going to have lunch. Life is Beautiful.

Japanese Company

You own two cows. Using state-of-the-art genetic engineering you can achieve that the animals are reduced to a tenth of their original size and give twenty times more milk. Now you create a clever Cow cartoon, call it Cowkimon and merchandise it worldwide.

German Company

You own two cows. Using state-of-the-art genetic engineering, the animals become re-designed so that they are all blonde, drink a lot of beer, give milk from highest quality and can run 160 km/h. Unfortunately, the cows are demanding 13 weeks vacation a year.

British Company.

You own two cows. Both have BSE.

Italian Company

You have two cows, but you do not know where they are. While you are looking for them, you see a beautiful woman. You have lunch break. Life is Beautiful.

Polish Company

Your two cows were stolen last week.

Greek Company

You own two cows. While counting them, an additional zero slips in the statistics. You report to the EU: “Economic growth 1000% over the previous year”. Because you are now able to get into dept of up to the value of 12 cows, you take loans worth 25 cows. You are squandering the money. Then the EU lends you the missing cows, to pay the interest. Compared to before you have to make extreme savings, your economy is shrinking. You scold the country, that has lent you the extra cows.