Stats for a Weekend at Work

My employers left for a quick, warm, get-a-way without the kids…here is how the weekend went.

-Before their plane had even left I took the four-year-old to the doctor to look and an unexplained (and growing rash).

-Held her while she got her first ever strep test. (Negative)

-Took her to the bathroom, explaining that the doctor needed her to pee in a cup…she looked at me like I had two heads. No go.

-Took her out to lunch, explaining again why she needed to pee in a cup. Went to restaurant bathroom to try again.

-She suddenly found it very funny, so she laughed and peed at the same time, dousing my hand with warm pee.

-Never-the-less we called it success, dropped it off at the doctors and went home.

-Proceed to spend the weekend with one miserable kid, applying Benadryl gel to palms and soles of her feet when itching got too bad.

-Thankfully dosed her with Benadryl at night so she could sleep and get a break from itching.

-Left dinner plans with the housekeeper (who came for a few hours of backup)

-Drove one of “mine” and four friends to a birthday party at a local germ-infested place called Pump It Up.

-Drove home to drive one more of “mine” and a school friend who was over, supposedly working on a school project (but found playing the Wii) and picked up one more to take to basketball practice.

-Killed time looking at my iPhone in cold parking lots until practice was over and I could drive them all home.

-Said good-bye to housekeeper and got three of them down to bed with repeated pleas not to “wake up sisters” and to follow house rule and stay in their rooms until 7am

-Made sure oldest was done showering after practice and had actually turned off light to go to bed.

-Climbed in to bed myself…t.i.r.e.d.

-Saw two faces peaking around the door at exactly 7:01am the next morning.

-Forgot to turn off alarm system which kids set off when they went down to play the Wii. (So much for a quiet cup of coffee)

-Alarm blaring wakes the oldest so all four are up and raring to go by 7:30am

-Make breakfast times four. Have an unheard of second cup of coffee

-Insist beds are made, piano is practiced and homework done before we open the door to the onslaught of neighbor kids that only seem to play at our house

-Make cookies

-Make lunch times four

-Take one to basketball practice while the rest of us hang out waiting, entertaining ourselves with electronic devices. (I might add that when we got to practice one announced that she’d forgotten her basketball shoes. Saved from bodily harm by another sister who happened to bring her basketball shoes in case she could find a court to practice on. They were a little big but did I care? Nope.)

-Pick up dinner on the way home.

-Get everyone fed and the oldest, dressed and out the door (picked up by friends ) for her basketball game.

-Make sure the other three were showered, jammed, books read and kissed good night. Again, stern warnings about waking up sisters (or nannies).

-Let the oldest in 9:30, tell her to shower and put away the clothes I’d asked her to put away twice before, and get to bed…because the nanny is really ready for bed.

-Come back 40 minutes later to find her piddling, still putting away clothes. Extract solemn promised she will finish turn off her light and go right to sleep as she has two soccer games in the morning.

-Remember 20 minutes later I didn’t cover the youngest who throws off her covers until she is asleep so go to check her.

-Find light still on in the bedroom of solemn promise breaker, clothes shoved on chair, reading.

-Count to 100 before I go postal and tell her there will be consequences. Turn off her light and shut her door none too softly.

-Fall into bed.

-Awake to six-year-old peering at me at 6:25am. (See above about staying in bed until 7am)

-Send her back to bed. Completely awake myself.

-Four-year-old arrives at 7:01 announcing she didn’t wake up a sister. Nine year old arrives at 7:05 announcing six-year-old woke her at 5am, 5:40 and 6:15am.

-Six-year-old says she’s sorry she forgot not to wake up sisters and can she go play the Wii? Umm…NO!!!

-Breakfast times four

-Get one ready to be picked up for soccer by 10am. Go over what she needs to have many times.

-Pack up because parents should be home by 4:30. Anticipate a late afternoon snuggle with my cat and reading the Sunday paper.

-Get another one fed, and ready to go to two soccer games.

-Feed lunch to one who has returned from soccer and feed the other two as well.

-Get email from their Dad saying “flight delayed at least an hour and a half. Figures. Sorry”

-Put one down for a nap.

-Welcome the arrival of the housekeeper, again for back-up.

-Take six-year-old to her basketball game. Seriously they look like kittens playing with a ball of yarn. So cute.

-Leave there and take nine-year-old to her baskeball game…with six-year-old in tow.

-Pick up email saying the parents have boarded plane, should be home by seven. Call for pizza delivery to arrive after we get home from basketball game.

-Get everyone fed and send two up to shower.

-Parents arrive home.

-I arrive home and fall asleep in chair with cat.

In between there were skirmishes between sisters, explaining the “consequences” to the eleven-year-old of “playing” me all weekend, emails to parents about said consequences and why they were necessary, laundry…lots of laundry and near constant kitchen clean-up.

As I left my employer told me to take today off and rest up. She’s leaving on a ski weekend with girlfriends on Thursday…and I’ll be providing back-up, lots of back-up for the kids Dad.

And today? Today I never got out of my jammies. Tomorrow, back to my reality!