Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Cleanliness is next to "O My God!"

Maybe as a teenager, you liked the smell and taste of sweat on a male because it was proof to you that you were with the star track runner or stud football player. However, now as an adult, your approach to intimacy has probably matured. In your drive to give and get pleasure, your nose and mouth will be on more places on the man's body and for longer periods of time than they used to. Therefore, you have every desire for your man, or the man of the moment, to be clean and free of sweat, bar-smell etc.

It is rumored that Cher, on spotting a scrumptious looking male, ordered: "Have him washed and brought to my tent." Unless you are incredibly rich or famous, chances are that you won't have the same ordering power.

But, with a little suaveness, you can achieve the same results. You can make the shower irresistible to him by seductively saying "Looking at you makes me hot - I'm going to cool down in the shower" and then dropping select pieces of your clothes. He won't be able to resist!

Lotion Potions

Do not overuse lotions and oils. While they are helpful in many situations, keep in mind some of their weakness: that they do not prevent surface hair from being painfully pulled (see above) and that they can be incredibly greasy and messy! Don't be part of the couple that gets all oiled up and passionately bounces around the house, only to discover in the sunlight that their hand, back and butt outlines are greasily imprinted on the silk couch and Laura Ashley wallpaper!

MAN MYSTERIES UNVEILED PENIS POINTERS

The biggest man mystery is that which is inside of his pants, the penis. Most women don't understand the penis because they don't have one and because men will never tell a woman all of its secrets. Without all of the information, a woman can't make the most well informed decisions and act with the utmost confidence. Therefore, you need to find out all that you can. Here, in this book, is everything that you should know and would ever need to know about penises - where they come from, what they like and dislike and what they hope for and dream of.

Sizing Things Up

It's common knowledge that men are extremely conscious about the size of their penises. There have probably been 'Long Dong' jokes around since the beginning of time. If you want your relationship with a man to withstand the duration, it is important that you respect this part of the male psyche.

Studies show that while most men overestimate the size of their penis, they usually have tried to measure exactly how long it is, to the millimeter. Therefore, when the topic comes up, you must be encouraging! Any attempt at humor, especially sarcasm such as "If that's seven inches, then the ceilings must be twenty feet high," will be disastrous.

You also need to maintain perspective (for the both of you) - that size is not the end-all and be-all. Penises come in all shapes and sizes, and each one has something special to offer.