Near the end of the dinner Thor started to tell a story that made his parents and those who were sitting close to him, laugh. Loki didn’t even smile. He finished eating his grapes, wiped his mouth with a napkin and glimpsed at the ceiling with a bored look.

I was wondering what could have been bothering him so much. It must have been something personal, otherwise Odin and Thor must have been troubled too. Did someone hurt him? Did any of his plans fail or was he working on a difficult plan? Why were only Frigga and me who cared?

When the dinner ended, everyone walked to their own chambers or outside. I heard that Thor invited his friends for a ride but when I turned around and saw them leave, I noticed that Loki had disappeared.

I went to my room. I wanted to read before going to sleep however I knew so well that I was going to sit with a book in my laps while daydreaming about Loki. I did it every night before falling asleep. Sometimes át daytime as well, especially when he was away. It was really pathetic and he would have died of laughing at me if he had known about it.

Before entering my room, I heard someone called my name. I turned around and saw a little black-haired boy staring at me half-hiding behind a long curtain. He was wearing some dark green clothes and he was smiling shyly.

- Who are you? May I help you?

At that moment one of the older maids appeared with a cry of joy, finding her son, wrapping him tight into her arms.

For a moment I had the idea that the little boy was Loki in disguise. It was one of his favourite pastimes to appear in the form of someone else, making fun of others, cajoling secrets and secret confessions out of others.

I remembered an evening when he disguised himself of Thor, making such nasty fun of one of Thor’s friends that everyone except Thor and Houdan (the friend) rolled from laughter. Even Odin couldn’t stand hiding his smile. Loki was punished anyway, Houdan caught him three nights later and beat him up as a warning. Loki, having a large purple spot under his left eye and a little swollen upper lip, acted as if nothing had happened and that event didn’t make him stop. He simply became more careful.

But this time it was not him.

Why can’t I take you out of my head? Okay, you are beautiful and clever and you have the courage and the power to attract anyone, but why do I keep on thinking of you, wanting you? When you ignore me, when you have never said a word to me, not even a simple greeting?

Suddenly I heard his voice clearly: “I wish you were here.” As if he were standing close to me, half-whispering into my ear. It was his voice but where was he?! I turned around in panic however I couldn’t see him anywhere. I ran into my room and closed the door.

I needed some fresh air so I opened the window. And then I could see where he was. Sitting on the edge of the balcony, just a few metres from me. That balcony belonged to the library and it was open all the time. Loki was sitting on the stone edge, his long legs hanging above the depth of the mountain. His hands were resting in his laps, his piercing blue eyes searching for something behind the skies. His lips were a little open but I couldn’t hear his voice anymore that night.

This was a beautiful day in Asgard. I was sitting by the window of the palace and watching the sunshine playing among the fresh green leaves of the nearby trees. It was spring and the scent of flowers curled around my lungs.

Loki was coming. His tall and thin body was moving with a special grace, his beautiful oval face emotionless, his blue eyes sweeping through everyone and everything like the wind, his thin lips pressed tight together. His leather coat and trousers were like his own skin. My heart jumped and I did my best to hide my emotions. That I was in love with him since I first arrived at the castle.

I stayed motionless and dared to look at him only from the corner of my eyes. However I should not have been afraid as he never noticed me, not even when I happened to face him during a dance or on the corridor. He didn’t see me. I couldn’t hear his steps anymore.

Suddenly I heard the bells ringing and I realised that it was time to visit Frigga. She was like a godmother to me since I lost my mother. Since I lost my family during the war against the Threrachurians. She kind of adopted me and gave me all the love, care and attention a young lady could ask for. I slipped on the floor and hurried to Frigga.

The corridors were empty, most people enjoyed the lovely weather outside. When I tried to enter her room, I felt as if a whirlwind had caught me and pushed me off my feet. Loki was rushing out of the room, with an angry face and a dangerous mood, giving me no attention, just pushing me aside as if I were a leaf or something. One of the guards helped me stand up while I was watching Loki hiding my sadness. He didn’t even turn around or look back. I was invisible to him.

You don’t notice me, you look through me as if I were a window. You didn’t feel me. But I felt you, I felt your body touching mine for a short moment, making it revive and wanting more of you. I was sure that Frigga knew my secret about my love for his foster son, and that I was a little sad after my last encounter with him, but she would never mention it. As would she never mention to anyone why Loki was angry. She kept all her secrets and the secrets of other people to herself. She was pure perfection in manners, the kind of lady I wanted to be.

We spent two hours together, then she asked me to accompany her to dinner. I completely forgot how late it was and that it was really dinner time. We walked to the huge dining hall, whose walls were covered with tremendous windows through which you could see the dark blue night sky, showered with bright stars.

On the right stood the long table where the royal family members had their own seats: Odin, Frigga, Thor, and Loki. Facing them, the other tables were arranged in a U-form, so all the guests and friends could enjoy their meal with the biggest gods, watching them and talking to their own neighbours. The dinner was always a generous feat with different kinds of soups, meat dishes, desserts, fruits and of course wine and water. Servants kept on running around with steaming bowls and dirty plates, being ready to serve the owners of the hungry bellies. Some soft harp music was played in the background but the sweet melodies were suppressed by the loud chatting and laughter of the big company.

I had my seat the closest to the royal table, next to one of Thor’s friends, Volstagg. This giant-like man was a perfect companion because he always ate something and he didn’t want to talk to me anyway, so I could just consume my food and admire Loki, who was sitting at the end of the royal table. Neither Volstagg nor the others around me paid any attention to me, but I was glad because of this and I would have never choose another seat. It was so easy to hide behind Volstagg when Loki happened to look my way. It happened rarely.

So I was sitting and eating my mashed potatoes with cranberry souce and I was listening to the lady facing me complaining about her lazy maid. She was getting some advice but she kept on yammering.

And there he was. Loki, the dark prince. He was eating a piece of roasted pork with graceful movements and he seemed to concentrate on something on his plate. He rarely looked up but he didn’t look at anyone longer for a moment. He was lost in his own thoughts, or maybe plans. He was the God of Mischief after all, he was always ready for fun or nasty surprises. No one but me paid any attention to him, except his mother, who didn’t say a word but her eyes watching him showed her caring and tenderness. I wondered how much tenderness and infatuation my eyes showed while I couldn’t take my eyes off him, his beautiful face, his nervous mouth, his shiny hair, curling along his neck.

Suddenly Loki looked up and our eyes met. I was so surprised and scared at the same time, I felt as if someone had poured a bucket of icy water on me. I really hoped he couldn’t read my mind and I blushed a little. His glance caught mine for a long moment, but he didn’t seem to see me or the change of colour on my face at all. Then he smirked and looked away, continuing his dinner.