Thursday, June 10, 2010

Change.

Change is ongoing and no matter how much we reject it or shy away it is forever occurring. With this mind many of us still attempt to separate ourselves from it. Most times it is associated the anxiety of loss, especially in cases of death. Then there is a category of people who just don't like that things don't stay the same.

This is where I come in. I hate change, especially when it concerns others. Change in my own life is manageable and expected but my brain doesn't make that connection when it comes to others. For example, when I see an old friend after years of separation I tend to be mesmerized and dumbfounded by them. Everything from appearance to accent just does not compute with the file I have on record somewhere in my brain.

Some people tend to cope with this quite easily, but for me and my egotism it is almost like an involuntary shock treatment reminding me that the world beyond my spectrum does keep turning. At least this blog is more helpful to my overly involved ego than the unfolding reality before me.

Back to the blog.

I really didn't think much about this until I started getting reacquainted with old friendships recently. I had these people mentally framed and filed in such a way with my past that I just arrogantly didn't expect them to change as they have. It is quite the odd experience for me, to see people in school for the exact opposite of what one would expect 5 years ago, or some living in another country leading a life which just seems so not "them".

These unexpected variations are persistently hard for me to deal with, and in the same breathe I also find them intriguing. Such things cannot be avoided, and if they were to cease life would be far too stagnant and unbearably dull.