But, what about your Job? #AtoZChallenge

We, the Army Wives are bound to be asked this question, at some point in life. May be as early as the first week of our marriage, three years or at least in ten years. The question is inevitable.

As I mentioned before, when we sign up for being an Army Wife, other than the obvious agony of separation, fear and responsibilities, there is a huge sacrifice which we make. Our Career.

Last month, I met a young officer who recently got married. And she is a Doctor, who has ranked 8th in the Post Graduation Entrance all over India, and is currently doing her course. I was shocked. What future does she hold?Not that I should pry into someones’ personal life. But, the thought was unavoidable.

Take me for instance, after completing my Masters in Computer Science and Engineering, having enrolled for an MBA and working in the IT sector since five years, I know for sure, that if I have to live with my husband, I got to QUIT my job. Because it is quite obvious that there won’t be an IT company in the hillocks of Shillong or the snow-clad mountains in Leh.

This is our story.

After being an LLB, CA, MBA, M.Tech or a Ph.D, you are going to sacrifice your hard-earned job so as to join him.

Is that bad? Well, I cannot answer that question. It is a mutual decision between the couple. I can answer that for myself though. I cannot imagine sitting at home doing nothing. No offense to the homemakers, I know you are doing a terrific job, looking after the family. But, after working so much all these years, day and night (thanks to my shifts), I simply cannot be at home. At least, that’s what I think so. I might enjoy a break, may be of two months. But I am definitely going to go mad. He knew this and didn’t force me to quit my job and join him when he left me for posting about ten months ago. How thoughtful!

As an Army Wife, you do have lot many options. Like taking up a B.ed degree and teach in schools (evident, because there will be schools at all the places of his posting), if you have a Masters you teach in colleges, if he is in a good posting you take a job as per your qualifications. All temporary though. But, something better than nothing, don’t you think?

It is now time for me to take a decision.

When I decided to stick to my job, the whole world was pointing fingers at me, condemning me for the decision I have taken, asking why family was not important for me, whether I do not feel the need to bring a baby into this world.

Now, when I finally decided to join him, the same world had an entirely different opinion. All they ask is how I can decide to quit my job? Why I studied this much? How I can be a burden to my husband? Whether I realize that I will have to ask him for my daily expense? Even for buying an inner-wear? Oh, the list continues! And I understand that people should keep their nose out of other people’s business. Not that I cared then. Not that I care now. But this is what each of us go through sooner or later.

So, what do you think?

Would you be ready to quit your job to have a family? Do you think I am insane if I decide to continue my job or join him?

I am Married to the Olive Green and I’m writing about the 26 things which I get to do/experience that you as a Civilian wife do not!

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About the Author

Shalini is an IT Analyst by profession, avid blogger by passion and a nomad by choice. She is a proud Army Wife, a trained classical dancer, and an aspiring YouTuber. Her ardent love for books, food, and travel brought her to the blogging world. She also blogs at Something's Cooking. When she is not cooking up a storm or writing her heart out, she can be found with her nose buried in a book and her Golden Retriever Mufasa, resting his face on her lap.

24 Comments

I always say people will talk no matter what decision you take. So best way is to listen to what you feel would be the best path for you to go forward on. If it was vital for my family that I be with them and not at a job that keeps me away, I’d do it. If not, I wouldn’t. As you said, sitting idle is not something I’d like to do. But I know whatever path I choose, my family will support that choice. So the other voices are just noises I can ignore. As for your choice/decision to come, whatever you decide to do, I’ll be there to cheer for you. I aven’t pointed any fingers at you before, and not likely to after. 🙂

kuch toh log kahenge..logo ka kaam hai kehna! I think, we should turn a deaf ear to what people say, and follow what our heart says…take up a job if that’s what you really want to do. there’s nothing wrong with working and nothing wrong with staying at home. It should be your choice alone.

You must always do what you want to do. If you want to continue with your job then go for it. If you want to quit it then just quit it. People always have something to say no matter what you decide. So it is best for you to choose what you want and be happy with your decision.

It is a tough call but one that needs to be given due thought.
Love the way you and your man are on the same page on this important issue. I believe, one must follow their heart, guided by their own logical thinking. I’m pretty sure you had this coming the day you had agreed to marry an army-man. So you guys sure had an opportunity to talk and think about it before the wedding vows.
That is all that matters. It’s for you two to think, choose and decide and no one else should have a say in this. Not now. Not in the future.

Nothing is insane. I am thrilled to learn that you continued with your job. So many women leave their work just because they are getting married, and their in-laws won’t like it. I feel if one wishes to do something which is not wrong, one should definitely do that. And it happens with everyone, when you do something, people are worried about the things you aren’t doing and vice versa.

Plus, it totally depends upon the individual, when she wants to quit the work for family, huband or herself for that matter!

Really never came across such scenario where one has to give up his/ her dreams just to be a homemaker. But i guess whatever be your decision either to continue or to leave, what matters is your sacrifice and i salute that. it’s really not easy to give up on your dreams and pls don’t give more ears to people who actually lacks any determination to take such decisions.

It is a rather personal decision for one to make Shalzz. I think what works for one may not work for the next. It is an important aspect to consider before marrying an army guy/gal!
@KalaRavi16 fromRelax-N-Rave

it’s your personal decision… no one should advice you or judge you … I agree that it’s a tough choice… on one hand it’s your hard earned degrees and on other it’s the love of your life. And people do strange things for love 🙂

Yah, it is not easy to quit to your job and sacrifice your career,just to be with him. But I think, may the love makes it worth it! Doesn’t it?
Moreover, in the meanwhile you can rediscover yourself, your passion and your dreams! Isn’t it a golden opportunity?

It’s a beautiful post that brings fort the dilemma every girl faces at some point in time..I have been at both sides myself and know its not easy to satisfy everyone..Do what is best for you as noone else can judge the boat we sail in ..I too have quit my job for the same reason and I dont live in regrets!

A perennial tussle for the army or defence wives. I am a physiotherapist and I never felt cheated out of working in my qualification. I worked as and when I could. With the internet and work-from-home options, I guess things are much better now. Either way, to work or not, is a personal decision of the couple and NO ONE should be allowed to interfere. People will talk both ways – as you have experienced. So go with your gut feeling girl and stay blessed!
@yenforblue fromSpice of Life!

I don’t think you are insane to quit your job and join him. You’re not even insane now that you have decided to keep working. As you said, it’s all dependent on the mutual understanding between the two of you. Who is the world to decide what’s good and bad for the two of you?

But this is something to ponder deeply about. I still have too much time to think about it, but I hope that when I’m faced with this decision, I make the proper one 🙂

Excellent topic Shalzz and what can one say but Sita bhi yahan badnam hui! So just do what you think is right for you and your family. And this thinking changes over time – at your age I couldnt imagine sitting at home for the same reasons that you mentioned and now I am blissfully happy just when I am sitting at home, me and my laptop, tapping away and chatting with you! Cheers 🙂

I think you covered the topic beautifully. There is s certain universality to your post. The dilemma and conflict women go through when they take the decision to get married. It is even more complicated on your case. Wonderful that you’ve made your own choice and not given society a chance to decide for you.

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Kohl Eyed Blogger

Shalini is an avid blogger by passion with an insatiable curiosity. She is a proud Army Wife who hails from Kerala (but now atop a beautiful hilltop in Uttarakhand), a wayfarer, who globe-trots with her camera, capturing all that's magical.