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Hopefully this is a helpful tutorial on how to send an email to the person you feel is ruining your life, and how to then feel immediate and lasting regret over sending it.
Written by: Max Azulay, Alex Mullen
Directed and Edited by: James Corbett
Starring: Max Azulay

9,647

July 11, 2016

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Hey guys.
Norm here.
Welcome back to
my tutorial video series.
Today, we're going
to be learning how to
send an angry
email which you
will immediately regret.
Okay. First things first,
you're going to want to open
your email browser.
Uh, I use Gmail.
Gmail is a free,
advertising-supported email service
provided by Google.
Okay, so login up here.
Put your password in here.
Um, mine is the name
of a pet who is now long dead.
[exhales deeply]
Next you're going to want
to feel blind, indignant rage at
someone who you perceive
has wronged you in some way.
Um, and make sure your head is...
it feels like it's swimming in fire with all
the things you want to say
to the person you feel is holding you
back from true happiness.
Okay, then you're going
to want to open a new email tab...
Tab found right,
to the right of the desktop.
Make sure you don't put
the person's email address in
the recipient tab
in case you accidentally send.
Make sure to start
the email off with something
direct, to the point,
for example, "Fuck you Miranda."
If you're writing to
an ex make sure you say
"fuck you" eight times,
and tell them they've
made the biggest mistake
of their lives,
and that they are
blind to how unique and
special you are.
If you're writing to a parent,
it might not be a good idea to say
"fuck you"
because they might
not be of the generation where
that's acceptable,
and also that's a little
harsh for someone who is literally
responsible for you existing,
but "screw you" is
completely fine. That's cool.
Also make sure to
remind them that they're blind to how
unique and special you are.
Okay.
This email will be saved
to your drafts folder.
This is a wonderful
feature of Gmail.
My drafts folder reads
like a book of essays by a young
John Wayne Gacy.
Next you're going
to want to masturbate.
This clears the head,
and also makes you feel
unique and special,
if only for a few moments.
Once you are done,
clean yourself off,
and then go to your
drafts folder and re-read
the emails, okay?
Tell yourself it was a good
experience writing the emails,
because it helped you
get in touch with your feelings,
but then tell yourself you
must, never, never send these
emails, okay guys?
I cannot stress this enough.
Do not send the emails, okay?
You're going to wanna go
for a walk or something to try to
get your mind
off those emails, okay?
Okay guys.
Now you're going to
want to go home,
and throw caution
to the wind and hit send.
That's right guys.
Send the email.
Okay. You've sent it,
so now yow you're going
to want to let it sink in.
Perhaps now Miranda
knows you think she's a
gold digging periah,
or maybe your
boss now knows you
think he looks like if
Dr. Phil got hit
by a truck, or your parents
read where you
slipped up and
said "fuck you" instead
of "screw you".
Okay guys, now you're
going to want to go into a
blind panic, alright?
You're going to want
to start Googling things like
how to undo sent emails,
how to leave
the country unnoticed,
how to disappear entirely,
how to plead insanity.
Alright, start drafting
an apology emails, okay?
You're going to
want to cry, nap, pace,
and finally guys,
you're just going to want
to accept it.
There's no undoing it.
Sit back and accept that you've
learned your lesson,
and you will never
send another angry email again.
Although...
Although there are a few
things you would like to say to
your upstairs neighbor.
[ rumbling ]
Okay guys, that's it.
I hope this helped you out a lot.
Be sure to check in
next week when we do an
Excel spreadsheet
of everything you hate
about your upstairs neighbor, okay?
Quiet up there Tony.
See you next week guys.
Norm.
Hey guys, thanks for watching.
Remember to like and subscribe.
♪ ♪