Online dating has been around for a decade or so and everyone who peruses the internet has heard about it. Just about everyone who is single has either tried or contemplated trying an online dating service at some time or another. Some who have been willing to try online dating have experienced success, fallen in love and even gotten married to the person they met using an internet dating service. Yet, others have horror stories to tell about the person(s) they met online and/or later in person. Others become frustrated because they can’t seem to find the right person and give up Those who have had unfortunate experiences have nothing but content for online dating.

When you really stop to think about, online dating is really pretty much the same as any other form of meeting someone new. Whether you meet someone online or in a supermarket, you strike up a conversation, decide if the person is an intellectual fit, decide whether or not you’re attracted to him/or and then decide if you want to further the relationship based on the information you’ve seen and heard thus far. It doesn’t really matter how you meet new people because the simple fact of the matter is that you can have both good and bad experiences in any venue while seeking romance. Where you meet them is irrelevant.

The major difference online, is that all of the initial communication is done from the safety of your keyboard. By joining an online dating community you get the opportunity to shop for people. You browse photos, read profiles, communicate in forums, chat rooms, instant messages and send and receive e-mails. With online dating you are afforded a great deal of information gathering resources to help you determine who may be compatible for you. You can move at your own pace and initiate contact when you are ready. There is no pressure. If someone does attempt to pressure you, you have the option of “blocking” that person or reporting him/her to the webmaster.

Conversely, when you join a dating site and present yourself for others to view, you are in essence advertising yourself. You’re letting potential dates know that you are available and through your profile, you can set the criteria in which only those who closely qualify should contact you. You reserve the option to respond to or ignore inquires- however to show respect you should always at least tell the incompatible person that you are not interested.

The bottom line is that online dating is an excellent way to meet new people. Whether your intentions are to find romance, marriage, friendship, flirt or just chat you will find others who share similar interests. As with any other form of meeting and dating, there can be downsides. The following pointers will help you avoid troubled dates and help to enhance your online dating adventures.

LOOK YOUR BEST!

When you create your profile you should definitely submit your very best photo. If you are serious about meeting someone a photo is a must. You are 10 times more likely to be contacted if your profile shows your photo. Think about it. When you are searching for dates, you probably are more likely to ignore the profiles that don’t contain a photo. Photographs are first impressions. No different than meeting someone new in person, you instantly decide if you are attracted to them based on appearance. It’s just human nature. Avoid the temptation of submitting a photo that isn’t really you. One of the faults to online dating is that it is easy to hide behind a fake personal photo and misrepresent yourself. Doing so expresses dishonesty and insincerity.

It is important to be yourself when it comes to your photo. None of us can help the way we look. Don’t overly concern yourself with your appearance. We all have issues with some part of our body that we wish looked better. Don’t worry about the ones that place too much emphasis on physical appearance. You have to trust that there is someone out there that does find you attractive –and interesting– and does want to meet you.

Just remember that a photo is worth a thousand words. It’s important for online daters to have a visual image of the person that they are communicating with while deciding whether or not to meet in person. If you misrepresent yourself, chances are, the date is over before it even started.

EXPRESS YOURSELF

Creating a profile is your opportunity to tell those who would be interested in you just who you are and what you are and what you are looking for. Keep it fresh and upbeat. There’s also nothing wrong with updating your profile on a regular basis to tell others about recent events in your life. Utilize blogs and forums to keep potential dates informed of what’s on your mind. You will no doubt receive replies. Following up on those replies is an excellent way to communicate and form relationships.

The importance of a photo cannot be stressed enough, but does a photo really tell others who you are? Of course not. A photo submitted on a profile is usually a head and shoulders shot or some type of action photo — ‘walking along the beach’, ‘hanging out with your best friend’, etc.. Although those visual images are great, they do little to communicate your personality. The serious online dater is involved in his/her profile and spends a great deal of time expressing themselves in the vast features that most online sites offer.

Would you rather read a profile/blog that is mundane and standard or would you rather read about something that is real, maybe funny, maybe serious that you can relate to? Have a bad day? You’re probably not alone –post it in your blog. Something unusual or interesting happen recently? Many potential dates may have had similar experiences which can lead to great conversational topics. Break out of your shell! Don’t be afraid to let the real you come out.

BE CAREFUL WITH E-MAILS

E-mail is a great feature to use to communicate with potential partners but be careful not to spend too much time using e-mails. Don’t spend a long period of time sending e-mails back and forth. Within a few e-mails you should be able to obtain enough information about the other person as to whether or not you should take it to the next level and speak on the phone or even meet. Eliminating those who are not compatible with you quickly is the key to online dating and safety.

DISCUSS VALUES AND EXPECTATIONS

Early in your contact with a potential partner, you should make it a point to discuss several values that are important to you such as religion. Your values and expectations must be communicated clearly and as soon as possible. Expressing your values and expectations early will help to eliminate the potential for a bad incompatible, relationship. For example, if your intention is for a short term sexual relationship only, it is important that your date understands that. If your would be date were uncomfortable with those terms then you do best to move on and find a like-minded person. Failure to discuss values and expectations is a major reason why dates fail.

LISTEN

While communicating with people, listen carefully to what they say and how they say. Unfortunately, there are many people out there that will say and do whatever it takes to impress you. If that is the case, then you are not really getting to know the real them. Listen to the spoken word and if you are meeting in person, pay careful attention to body language. A person’s body language can tell you a great deal about them. You need to constantly evaluate what is said or written to protect yourself from being duped. The better the listener you are, the better you will be at identifying good dates and eliminating bad ones.

BE NICE

It’s hard to be in a good mood all the time and no one expects you to. However, you shouldn’t take it out on someone who is trying to contact you. Whether it’s an e-mail or something someone said to you in a chat room or forum, you should understand that everyone on the dating site is merely looking around and expressing themselves. In the case of e-mails for example, it only takes a couple of seconds to reply and say that you are not interested. You’ll gain more respect from the sender than if you just completely ignore and delete the e-mail. Being nice is contagious. If you convey politeness and consideration then you will receive the same. In turn, the person that you shed politeness towards will be more likely to be nice to the next person he or she comes in contact with.

WARNING SIGNS

To avoid unpleasant experiences with someone who has been less than honest with you, the following warning signs have been identified. Always apply the warning signs while dating to ensure that you are not wasting your time.

* If the word and references to “sex” is routinely used early during communication. If that is what you are looking for, then online dating has definitely worked for you. Else, you should probably not pursue that person, as most likely the person only is seeking a one-nighter.

* Watch out for those who only give out a cell phone number. That could be an indication that the person does not want you to call his/her home because he or she is already involved in a relationship. It could also simply mean that the person doesn’t own a landline. You’ll have to evaluate which one is probably true based on your interaction with the person.

* Someone who constantly talks about his or her divorce or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. Don’t waste your time with this person. This person is still emotionally attached to a prior relationship. This person seeks to find someone else to fill a void in their life. This person needs to resolve his or her personal issues before they can become serious with someone else.

* Coming on too strong–Avoid those who are obviously overzealous. Those types of people include those who constantly send you e-mails and call your phone many times a day. It’s great to be eager but there is a fine line between eager and obsessive. Obsessive relationships are very unhealthy and usually fail.

* Avoid the serial dater. The serial dater is the person who seems much more interested in the concept of finding that special someone. The serial daters meets a lot of people and is constantly online searching for new people to date. The serial dater really isn’t interested in finding someone and getting on with a normal relationship. During your conversation with someone and they happen to confide in you that they’ve been dating online for 6 years (example), you should proceed with caution. Most likely the serial dater will become bored with you and move on.

USE YOUR COMMON SENSE

Using your common sense is your number one resource to protecting yourself and getting more out of your online dating experiences and any other form of dating for that matter. Be smart, cautious and trust your ‘gut’ instincts.

After you have been through all the stages of getting to know someone online, talking, sharing goals and aspirations. In many cases if both parties believe there is potential for a relationship they will meet to find out if there is some chemistry between them. Sometimes people can get so caught up in the illusion of online dating that they may overlook other relevant issues when it comes to meeting someone in person. It’s a fact that some people tell lies online. They may not be the person they pretend to be. While the other person may become a victim of a dishonest or dangerous person.

Men and women should use their judgment for personal protection. But sometimes date-seekers are so jaded of the fact that they must meet the other person in a safe place at a safe time. They get out of their shells and instantly embrace the other person as if they have known them forever.

Here are some applicable tips for online daters who plan to meet off line.

Meet only when you finally feel the need to meet. Pressure is a bad recipe for bad online dating. Some of them gets eaten by this and easily gives in to the pressure of meeting up fast. It is better to continue dealing with the other person for a much longer period of time. Although you may not actually know everything about him online, you will be surprised that a longer talk provides some unintentional revelations about the other person. And by being a smart observer, you will easily have a point of judgment for that person. You will know if a good cooking is on the way. Or, things won’t just work out for the both of you. So, it is best to be honest about yourself and also demand honesty from them.

Before you meet in person you should inform a close friend or a relative that you are going out on a date. Let them know the time, place, and most especially the identity of the person you are about to go out with.

Meet the other dater in public. Meet in a safe and familiar location where you know your way around. But try to evade those restaurants or cafes where people know you. You should not give them the opportunity to get more information about you other than the things you have told them.

We all have a sense of intuition. Listen to what your secret angel tells you. One way or another, you will feel that the conversation is good or not. If you sense that something bad is about to happen you should leave at once.

Do not reveal where you live. Do not let him drive or bring you home. Make excuses for saying no. And make sure that he doesn’t follow you home. Change your route.

Although some people may be lucky enough to find in online dating that special someone that can drive them nuts and bring them into the house of wedding bells, remind yourself that there are few who do not. It is best to always keep online dating safe and sound.

The convenience of the internet has not only made way to more opportunities to make money at the comforts of your own home or making shopping a little easier but it also made way for online dating. And because you are not sure who you are not dealing with online, it is recommended to know some online dating safety tips so you won’t be a victim of unscrupulous people on the internet.

Love and marriage that starts from simple online chat or a personal ad is not impossible in the cyberspace. But of course, you will never know who you are dealing with online, so your heartbreak may not be a simple heartbreak but you can also be a victim of the so many scams online that will only drain your pocket.

Here are some online dating safety tips that you might find useful in finding love on the internet.

– Build awareness on the many scams involved in online dating. If it is your first time to try online dating, try to research online on some of the modus operandi of some scammers. There are even ‘risk locations’ that have been identified as source of fraudulent schemes.

– Bring the dating offline. Even if you have been communicating online for several months, it does not mean you are safe. One of the online dating safety tips to keep in mind is to let the woman know that you are willing to visit her country or her place. With this, you can at least find out for yourself if she really exists, and you don’t have to send money if she demands to go to your place and not hers.

– Never send money online. Of course, scammers exist because they get money from their unscrupulous doings. Don’t be blinded by the gorgeous pictures of women and their sweet words, you may be dealing with a scammer. Most of the scammers will often ask you money for travel documents, passport, visa etc, or money for any other reason – money to pay for a loan, or for a family member who is ill, taxes and even money for luxurious gifts and items like cell phone. If your online relationship involves money, be extra cautious about it.

– If the woman strongly insists that she will be the one who will visit you, then you must be cautious as well. Scammers in online dating usually use this to get money from you. They most often tell you they will use the money to pay travel agencies.

– At times, these travel agencies may not also exist. Find a reputable travel agency and make sure they are licensed. Check if they have a website but keep in mind that having a website is not enough too. One of the online dating safety tips to keep in mind is to

It is not even a guarantee that you are looking for women to date in large online dating sites. It is still important to do background checks if you want to make sure.

Dating, a get-to-know-you activity that precedes courtship and possibly marriage has been around for as long man can remember. With the advent of the internet, dating became possible online and people in two different continents can now date. Online dating has ups and downs. On the up side, people living in two different continents do meet online and actually get married. On the down side, predators and other evil characters use online dating to trap unsuspecting persons and endanger their lives and virtues.

As a way to deal with the envisaged dangers, a number of online safety tips have been developed by relationship experts who have taken time to research situations.

Interestingly, many of the online dating safety tips are equally important safety tips that offline daters should be using to promote their dating for great and secure dating experiences. Some of the online safety tips that are applicable to offline dating include but not limited to the following:

• Trust your gut feeling – this is sometimes described as intuition, natural feeling, and instinct. Whatever name you call it; this is one of the greatest safety mechanisms that the Creator has put in all living beings. Can you remember the times you are in a situation and you feel, this is not right or this is just cool? That is your gut feeling at work. If you respond they way you feel in company of a date or cancel a date for such feelings, you can hardly be wrong.

• Look your dates straight in the eye – many people lie during dating conversations. The antidote to having a date tell you a load of lies about himself or herself is to look them straight in the eye. If the person is lying, they will put their heads down, fret or do a number of other distractive things just to make sure you are not able to read the mind or body language.

• Be circumspect but prepared to trust – it is easy for people to lie on a date. You have no way of immediately confirming whatever you are told. Some lies result of boasting to impress. It is common among dates that feel intimidated by their dating partner and are looking for ways to feel up to the level in their hearts where they have placed their partners.

• Asking lots of questions – Asking a lot of questions on the first meeting will help you know about the background of the person you are dealing with. It would help dating partners to establish consistency or inconsistency in the character of the other partner.

• Ensure that you are feeling comfortable – while on a date, watch out for those unsettling feelings. Be sure you are feeling comfortable and if not, it would be wise to cut the outing short so that you can re-examine yourself. This may safe you a lot of danger. This is akin to gut feelings.

• Be prepared to terminate meeting with a disrespectful or abusive date – some people are transparent. The gold fish, they say, has no hiding place. Some people would bring their character out immediately. Do not hesitate to terminate dating with such persons.

• Get some background information of the person you are going out with – do not go out with someone you barely know. Check out the person’s circle of friends, connections and activities. This will save you from being mixed up with someone who has dirty or criminal background that could smear your character.

• Make an advance decision to stick to the dating rules and strict moral standards – you are the most important person in this project. You are responsible for the choices you make. Do not allow anybody to talk you into doing you something stupid such sex on the first date or premarital sex. If you see it coming, run.

• Go on a date only in well-lit public places – while dating, do not visit a date alone at home or anywhere for that matter. Meet only in public places that is well lighted where other people around are able to see the two of you together. An otherwise gentle man or lady could easily change into a monster when enveloped with a feeling of sensuousness that is aroused in the presence of the opposite sex when alone.

• Ensure that a good friend knows where you are going and the person you are meeting – this will mean that there would be someone to raise alarm if there is danger. It would be great if your date knows that your friends and neighbors know that you are going out with him and where. If he or she is uncomfortable with the idea, it is because there might be ulterior motive.

• Ensure that you have a charged cell phone on a date – it might come in handy in some situations.

• Always make your own travel arrangements to/from a first date – do not accept a ride home on the first date.

• Start early and finish early – always start out early and target and really leave early in the day before dark.

Online dating is an exciting way to meet new friends and love interests, but some people don’t always use common sense when interacting online or meeting for the first time. By following a few safety guidelines and recognizing the common cons that occur in the online dating world, you can keep yourself protected.

Common Sense – When Online Dating

First, we must recognize the truth: anyone from anywhere can create a profile with a picture they found on Google image search. If anyone asks you for your personal or financial information, a huge red flag should come up. Never give out any information that identifies you to a person you don’t know. This includes your name, address, phone number, social security number, or bank account information.

Common Cons – Things to Look For

Messaging on the Internet is tough, especially in cases where you’re limited to 140 characters. If you suspect of, or come across any of the following items in the list below – chances are it might be a dating scam and you should cease contact with the person you’re talking to.

Chat is vague or doesn’t seem to match the topic of conversation, or topics change often over one message or many
Receiving immediate responses back to your private messages/e-mails could be the sign of a program that is automatically responding to you
After a quick exchange the other person tells you they wish to talk on another messaging service, or exchange e-mail addresses to talk, share pictures, or view webcam
Asks you for money because:
It’s an emergency and only you can help
They were just widowed
Wants you to donate to a “cause”
They claim to be traveling, living, working aboard, or deployed

Asks for your address so they can send you gifts (flowers, etc)
Talks about meeting or finding your profile was “written in the stars”, “destiny” or “fate”
You go to message them and find that their account is deleted, yet you see their picture under another name later on
Their photo seems unrealistic or modified in some way

If the dating website you use has a report feature and you come across any suspicious activity, report that person. It will flag the account to administrators who should personally review the account and delete it if necessary.

When You Finally Meet

Out of the many profiles online, you finally found a person you’d like to meet. Keep yourself protected by following a few guidelines:

Never have your date pick you up at your house
Tell friends and family where you’re going and what time you should be back
Keep your cell phone with you at all times
Meet in a public place with lots of people
Stay sober or drink with caution
Don’t assume the person you’re with is safe
Avoid the perception of any obligation by going ‘dutch’ on the bill
Don’t bring your date back to your home, or go to theirs – go to a hotel
Use a condom
Remain alert until the date is over and you’re home safely

Keeping yourself safe both online and offline is very important. Don’t get a false sense of security or ignore these rules because you use a dating website that does background checks on its members. People with a criminal record can still get into these websites due to flaws in the background checking system – it’s not perfect. Stay safe when dating, and have fun!

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