Are we connecting on Facebook simply because we can?

Social media has made some folks lose their minds. Particularly those who are addicted to Facebook. They are poking incessantly, tagging like their lives depend on it, and friending the very people they hated 20 years ago. When you don’t poke them back, they resort to super-poking, send you a plant of some sort and ask for your hand in a game of virtual scrabulous. Lovely.

Something is missing here, and I think it’s common sense. So allow me to reintroduce the common sense factor to all of you avid Facebooker’s. If this doesn’t apply to you, reject it and move on. But if it does, hear me out.

If we hardly spoke in 12th grade calculus class and often rolled our eyes at one another in the halls, why would we connect 20 years later to share all of the nuances of our lives?

If you stole my boyfriend or played a cruel prank on me back in the day that caused me months of embarrassment, why would I care about your whereabouts today and what could you possibly have to say to me?

For all you know, the person you’re reaching out to could have spent an inordinate amount of money on a therapist in an attempt to forget you, and here you are, super-poker in hand ready to rekindle that loving feeling.

If I fired you, or you fired me and we engaged in a shouting match is a connection really something we should consider? No. And that’s okay, so move on to someone else.

Don’t let Facebook allow you to forget history and open old wounds that should probably remain closed. If you’re that eager to find out what’s been going on with someone, lurk around and satisfy your need. Heck, Google them and get yourself a nice helping of their recent history.

But if you know in your heart and your gut that a certain connection isn’t a good idea, don’t request it. Just because we have the tools doesn’t mean we have to use them. It’s great that we have the tools but we should also exercise good judgment and be selective with our actions.

What are your thoughts on the use of Facebook? Know any die hard pokers? Tired of being tagged for the 25 random things about me post? Tell us about it.

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3 comments

I love that Facebook has created a way to keep in touch with long lost friends. I’ve been able to connect with several old high school and college friends who I’d lost track of ( mostly due to lack of email and cell phones 10 years ago ). For that, I really like it.

Then there’s the other side of the coin, like you mentioned. The people who just want to be connected to everyone. Sure it makes you look cool to have 356 ‘friends’, but what’s the point? If you ask to be my friend, and I don’t instantly know who you are, why do we need to reconnect? If the connection was so minor the first time that I can’t remember you, I don’t know why I need to make a second effort. I’d recently piled up 5 requests of people who I barely knew, or couldn’t remember at all. To be “nice”, I allowed them. Going through their profiles, I ended up knowing 2 of them — women who had changed their last name after marriage, and who had vague profile pictures. The other 3 I casually removed from my friends when nobody was looking. 🙂

Lets be honest, if we wouldn’t stop and chat if we bumped into each other on the street, do we need to be friends on Facebook?

I very much echo many of your sentiments in your post. I’ve reconnected with many people I had not spoken with ins over 20 years and now… we till don’t talk. Thats okay, I don’t really mind connecting with people.

The way I look at it, and this is from experience, you never know what will come out of connecting with a stranger. True you may not want to do this blindly. But I can tell you that I have seen it pay off dividends.

For example when I was looking for work, I was receiving facebook friend invites from people I’d not spoken too since high school. Many of them I didn’t interact with even back then. To their credit several of them stepped up and asked me to forward them their resume and helped me look for work.

Just recently we’ve been having get togethers every month and at the last one two of our classmates who had a nasty incident during school (the result of which led to an arrest) made up and cleared the air.

So.. who knows, maybe there is something to be said about getting in touch with strangers.