Communicate with Love

Sri Daya Mata with a child like devotee

It is very important that parents understand the child’s point of view, that they always try to see things as the child sees them. Then the parents can better help the child to see the matter correctly and in the right perspective.

The essence of Paramahansaji’s guidance on parenting is loving communication and loving discipline. Together, these two skills have the power to create a strong sense of family closeness that can go a long way toward counteracting the negative influences children are exposed to in contemporary society.

Putting children down, telling them they are lazy, stupid, or clumsy is more damaging to them than physical abuse. If a person has a low self-image, he cannot love himself. Make it a rule. Every day tell your child something he did well. It means that you believe in him and he is learning to believe in himself. If the child receives only praise and love, he will be spoiled and self-centered. If he receives only discipline, he will rebel and act out. The right formula is to give correction and love. If this is consistently done, the child will see you as a friend not an enemy.

Brother Anandamoy

From devotee notes of the talk: “Spiritualizing Family Life”

Children, particularly in this country, they get everything materially— money, toys, cars, everything.. and many of them do not get love. And I have seen it. I have seen the tragedies from such a neglect.Love is more important to a child than all the money in the world and all the gifts in the world and toys. Some of those people come from so called good families — well to do families. They got everything materially from their parents, they did not get love and they grow up as cripples — emotional cripples.
And people have come to me and said, “I did not receive love and I want to express love and I can’t, I am blocked.” It’s tragic.
And sometimes you find in poor countries, very poor countries, those children they are cuddled, they are caressed as babies and as children, they are given attention and no toys, no expensive stuff but they grow up into healthy adults.
It’s more important than anything else — love — expressed love.
Many people become criminals because they did not have any discipline– that is true! Another reason is that they did not get any love and they are in a morbid way turning into criminals to attract the attention of people and society. It is that sick!
Children need to be loved. They need to be caressed. They need to be cuddled.