You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…

For me, it often strikes when I’m hosing myself down in the shower, which isn’t ideal. It’s not like I’ve got some waterproof pens stashed on my person, tucked in between my cheeks or something. Considering my non-ass ass stance, it’s tough to hide anything in there, so it’s unlikely I’ll be pulling a blog post out of my glutes anytime soon. Then again, I’m not a quitter either, so maybe I should give it a go.

The inspiration for today’s post comes via Jeff Foxworthy’s redneck jokes, delivered in an atypical fashion by my boy, Chris. (Hey Chris, are you cool I call you my boy, or is that a little weird and if I have to ask, do I already know the answer?). He did a post called You Might Be A CrossFitter If… which had me laughing even though I’m not fluent in CrossFitonese.

I read, I roared, and I immediately wanted to pen my own post using something which speaks a little more to me. Drumroll please…

You Might Be a Healthy Living Blogger If…

You ingest smoothies on the regular.

You add green things to those same smoothies and lots of them.

You know what bee pollen tastes like and still willingly choose to consume it.

Apple cider shots are a standard first breakfast.

You know the difference between whey, casein, rice, soy and pea protein.

You make pizza crusts out of cauliflower.

You pen weekly workout posts, and you’re disappointed with anything less than running a bazillion miles a week.

You are “strong, not skinny.”

You talk about PR’s, negative splits and leg day.

Rest time is the equivalent of yoga.

You stick beans in baked goods.

You’re lactose intolerant, gluten-sensitive, allergic to nuts, avoiding sugar or all of the above.

You’re in bed or trying to worm your way into bed with Quest Nutrition.

You hashtag #chunkporn and #yolkporn a little too liberally.

You Might Be a Healthy Living Blogger If…

You use terms like “fiber baby” and “fluffy” and you aren’t talking about your pets.

Comments

I would say I’m guilty of about half at least, the standouts are the sweet potatoes, running related stuff, kombucha/kabocha, coconut oil, food intolerances, and food pictures especially of egg yolks. And oh yeah, rest=yoga, I just said that this morning to myself, oops 🙂 I seriously think you covered everything and I have nothing to add!Michele @ paleorunningmomma recently posted…Weekend Cooking, Food & Family

Hahahahahah OMG Meg this is probably one of the best posts I’ve read..ever! Seriously lolled & nodded my head in agreement more times than I should admit! Ah screw it- I’m going to own it..HLBs fo lyfe ;)!

PS totally cringing about the idea of snuggling up in bed with a Quest bar- sad times!!!Khushboo recently posted…Currently (April 2015)

“Allergic to nuts” <– heyyyy! That's not by choice! And I was allergic long before I came across the HLB world, so there 😛 But yeah I can relate to at least half of these, with the smoothies, holistic nutritionist, and yoga pants ones sticking out the most. If you replace avocados with bananas in: "Avocados are ripening on your kitchen counter at all time," then we'd have a winner. I have 3 bunches on my counter as.we.speak.Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. cinnamon roll sugar cookies .

You crack me up lol. Totally hahahaha to it all. I am of course at one with most of what you say but please, don’t even let me get away with calling protein powder a frosting. Like really – should I ever do such a thing and call it a good frosting on my blog, you must intervene at once!!! lolmeredith @the cookie chrunicles recently posted…Weekend Stuff Per Picture

For you, I would absolutely step in and call shenanigans should you dub a protein powder concoction as frosting. Give me straight up sugar frosting and I’m good.Meghan recently posted…You Might Be A Healthy Living Blogger If…

ha to the hahaha, HAlarious!!!!! okay i’m not a healthy living blogger (yet) but i can still appreciate this post. especially as it was inspired while you were basting yourself with a shower head. did i read into that too much? it doesn’t help that i was reading this on my phone and kept seeing the word ‘penis, penis, penis’ every other word because i didn’t have my glasses on yet… the mind wanders. anyway.
so i can’t imagine adding anything to this perfect list, why mess with perfection eh? i’m with you, about 75% of this stuff is my reality. i’m okay with that since the remaining 25% is flipping off the bird at the world and anything deemed healthy. my internal rebel is strong and the inner conflict, rogue rebel versus health bunny, is very real.
i’ve been guilty of all this stuff, and somehow even managed to make a goop of bee pollen and coconut oil that tasted good… which makes me wander, WTF is wrong with me.

Brilliant!! Loved it! =) Glad I could be a source of inspirtation for such a humorous post! I can pronouce quinoa, I’ve got a Kale Yeah thing, tons of nut butter right above my supplement shelf, and there are always avocados! I do cook with coconut oil frequently, but I didn’t know I should be combing the extra through my beard…. interesting! =)Chris recently posted…2015 CrossFit Open WOD 15.5 Recap

I ain’t never gonna be a HLB, but I did lmao reading this while wearing yoga pants and writing my Costco list to include oats and rolling over the memory of that kombucha beer last summer. Thanks again for flashing the label in my brain so I can resume my hunt for it.Kirsten recently posted…Potato Sauce–a Fast & Easy Holiday Recipe

#chunkporn?! That should never, ever be allowed. In fact, I’m starting a movement to ban the word chunk from ever being used on a menu. #barfLaura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…The One Where the Oven Caught Fire

I feel like I can only relate to less than half of these! But I definitely nodded yes to your points about nut butter, Chipotle, hummus, and sweet potatoes/pumpkin. And heck yes, veggies definitely are my bitch. I don’t have a “Kale yeah” shirt, but I do have one that says “I <3 kale" with the <3 made out of kale leaves. Yup, I'm that cool haha.Chelsea @ Chelsea’s Healthy Kitchen recently posted…Black Bean and Mango Quinoa Salad

OH goodness, they are AWESOME! Totally going to share this on my favorite links weekly roundup. This is the best. I associate with about 60% of this, but I definitely know what every single one of them means. And yes, I do make veggies my bitch quite often. And enjoy every second of it.

um, it’s scoby.. not skoby. get it right! LOL! jk. I love you. I’m not in bed with quest. fiber is not always my friend. And gasp… i don’t like froyo! it tastes fake to me. Ice cream or gelato, yes, I can do that. Even though I am lactose… gastolerant.

You have more nut butter jars in your pantry than fingers on your hand. <- This.
This, however: You know what bee pollen tastes like and still willingly choose to consume it. Nix the consumption part. #sorrynotsorry [and I dislike hashtags yet use them every now and then because, duh, I'm a blogger, see me hashtag …]. Any suggestions on how to use a basically still full jar of bee pollen are welcome. As long as they don't involve green smoothies because I'm an atypical HLB there. Maybe also for the fact that I don't like the abbreviation HLB.
Hm … well, you know what's funny looking at the fact I just talked about what sets me apart from being a stereotypical healthy living blogger? A lot of these actually don't fit for me but I know many others do. Part of that being that I go crazy overboard in the produce aisle or better yet on Farmers' Markets and am in a serious relationship with almond butter.Miss Polkadot recently posted…Ready, set … pin!

Yep that’s me, definitely a healthy living blogger! The few exceptions must be noted though – counting calories? Ain’t got time for that! And egg whites? Pfff! Eat the yolks people! Haha!
I would do anything to go to Blend! Major blogger jealously!Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…Get to know me better!

I would come to blend if it wasn’t for the thousands of pounds it would cost to travel from the UK!! Oh well, will just do some yoga moves in blends honour from home… *start the violins…* 😉Jen @ Chase the Red Grape recently posted…Why I Love Where I Live!

That last one..ALL the time. Specifically at work, but I’ve totally inspired some of my coworkers to be “healthy” so I don’t even care! Great list, I’d say over half resonate with me. I guess I’m sorta, kinda, part of the HLB tribe…but only sorta.Brittany recently posted…Finding Inspiration

I had a coworker today who told me I was her motivation for getting healthy. I absolutely melted and it made my day.

I’m sorta with you too. What we need to do is change the overall image of the HLB community to be all about healthy, instead of body image. If we get enough of us, it’ll happen. Viva la revolution.Meghan recently posted…Peanut Butter Chocolate Smoothie Recipe

I am sitting at my desk at work and I am literally crying! Genius! I have to print out this post and tick the boxes! Let’s say I am at least guilty of 60% of this list!
I spend more time in yoga pants than any other pants and I think pants are totally overrated. Luckily I found really strechy jeans lately and bought them in bulk 🙂
And I think I have 10 open jars of nutbutter!
And I would like to add that I am getting embarassingly excited when I get ripe bananas on discount because they have already brown spots.Juli @1000lovelythings recently posted…What I ate Wednesday #82 – Some Easter Eats

Yes, ripe bananas are the BEST! I’m actually officially out of bananas right now. It’s a travesty. I don’t know how I’ll get through tomorrow without a banana. 😉Meghan recently posted…Peanut Butter Chocolate Smoothie Recipe

I think I fit about half of these….does that count?? Also I need to freaking buy my Blend ticket!! Might even bring Dave Cakes with me (even though he is going to run off to play with his friends while we are climbing mountains and having protein bars jammed down our throats). 😀

What the eff is chunk porn?? *rushes off to search the hashtag*Amanda @ Diary of a Semi-Health Nut recently posted…Mini Chicken Pesto Pizzas

Love this! As a new blogger I already am guilty of a lot of this…except the only nut butter is peanut butter because I have a tree nut allergy (I guess you have to be one or the other!) and I just don’t do smoothies. Instead I eat raw fruits and veggies until I have that fiber baby…Alyssa @ Renaissancerunnergirl recently posted…My Favorite Pancakes

I am a potato lover, all potatoes too, so I can relate to that one as well. I love me some yoga although those are actual workouts for me. Rest days usually involve me horizontal on the couch with some bad, yet delicious, television.Meghan recently posted…Recipe: Potato Ramp Soup with Cheddar & Chives

WOMAN! Are you TRYING to kill me?! I totally lost my shit over “You’re in bed or trying to worm your way into bed with Quest Nutrition.” Everything else after that was a blur…but a damn good ab workout so yeah, I guess I owe you a thank you for that! Oh god, I just scrolled back up and read it again…PB2 all the things! And omg, I remember when I first started blogging and I wasn’t sure what the difference was between kabocha and kombucha! You’re good girl. Too good!

LOL I’m dying. I never considered myself a HLB, but I relate to about half of these, sooooo….I don’t have the Kale, Yeah shirt, but I would MUCH rather have a shirt that says “Fitness Whole Pizza in my Mouth”.Nikki @ will run for pizza recently posted…5 things on Sunday.

[…] I did not enjoy the result. Although I do identify with many of the notches on Arman’s and Meghan’s lists, I can never be a true stereotypical healthy living blogger, because I do not like smoothies […]