A personal blog of this 76 year old gay man retired to Delaware with his long term partner/husband. My life has been and continues to be a fabulous journey. This blog is my humble attempt to memorialize my past and current life. Yes, this blog is all about me. Each of us is unique and has a story to tell. This is my story. Someday it will be a movie. What a life I've had and the adventure continues! I am on of the lucky ones. I'm still here, making waves.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Please Take Your Shoes Off

Bill and I always take our shoes off before we enter our house. We ask guests who enter our house to take their shoes off. The reason we do this is because the bottom of people's shoes are dirty and we don't want that filth in the house.Bill introduced me to this practice when I first moved in with him fifty-one years ago. Bill picked up this habit from is time spent in Japan during is Air Force service years during the early Fifties. By the way, Bill saw General Douglas McArthur and Emperor Hirohito during his stay but I digress.Over the years most of our guests (we actually don't have that many) have complied. The only problem has been with workmen entering our house. Either they are too lazy or too disrespectful to honor our request. Some workmen have complied by wearing booties. Most have not.Mark this day because it is the last day a workman enters our house wearing shoes without booties. The reason I say this is because I got weak and let a workman wear booties. Two days ago we had a new air conditioning and heater unit installed in our house, which is mostly wall to wall carpeted. When I encountered one workman entering our house to install the new thermostat I asked "Where are your booties?" He looked at me with a perturbed surprise as said "Booties? Booties? My shoes are clean." And then he proceeded to skip up my carpeted stairs to install the new thermostat. Folks, I'm ashamed to admit I let it pass. Up and down the stairs he went several times while I burned. All day yesterday I was bothered. The irony here is that when that this company advertises that all their workers wear booties when in customers' homes. I was bothered all day yesterday until I called the salesman and told him of my concerns. He acted concerned. He may be or not but one thing I have decided. NO MORE.You know folks, at this time of my life, THE END, I'm just tired of letting things pass that bother me. The next time I someone enters my house and is either too lazy or too disrespectful of me to take their shoes off or put on booties over their shoes, they do not enter my house. I don't like confrontation and unpleasant situations but I also don't like being disrespected, especially in my home, my sanctuary that both Bill and I work so hard to keep clean. Have you ever gotten gas for your car? The next time take a look at the ground beneath your feet. Look at the spit, spilled gasoline, and cigarette butts. All those germs and filth goes into your house. I think even more that bothers me is the disrespect. I'm tired of the disrespect and will put an end to this particular form of disrespect. Of course I will be continued to be disrespected in other aspects of my life but at my home, I can control. And I will.

40 comments:

Well done. It's not easy standing up to workmen, especially when it come to removing boots etc. I operate a zero tolerance with shoes being worn in the house and that includes workmen. I live in the UK and many here don't wear shoes in the house. I was brought up my very house proud mother to take off my shoes at the door. Not to do so incurred a painfully fate best avoided. This was many years ago. My house is in rural England and just about everyone removes shoes automatically, even workmen!! It's an affluent area so we all have really nice homes and in the UK most still have carpets. I have a mixture of wooden floors and plush carpets and not a single pair of shoes has been on them. I have had the " they aren't too bad" from workmen who seemed to think they could waltz in with muddy boots. I a, not sure I would have been as tough as i am now many years ago. I have never worn shoes in the house, it's a terrible habit. Once again well done at your new fiery resolve, and good luck.

Mark,The rudeness and disrespect that this workman showed right to my face "Booties? Booties? My shoes are clean!" That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I didn't ask him to take off his boots but just to wear booties (which I would supply) but apparently he was (either) too butch or too lazy to bend over and put the booties on. Won't happen again, I can assure you. Any workman who is that disrespectful and rude and who I am paying money to do a service in my house (he's not a "guest" by the way) will not be permitted to stay in my house.Ron

Although as a matter of course I don't remove my shoes when entering another household, unless specifically asked to (who does, in 'western society'?) it's for exactly the same reason that you so articulately delineate that I simply cannot abide the practice whereby on public transport, particularly younger generations (but not always) put their shod feet onto an opposite or adjacent neighbouring seat. It makes me seethe inside, but I never dare say anything - because, for one thing, when the ticket collector or inspector comes around it's very rare indeed for them to mention it. However, in all circumstances, for me it displays a total lack of respect for anyone else who wants to come and sit down in the same place, never mind the fact that they'll nearly always be total strangers. So as to the situation yo, Ron, describe above, I can 100% sympathise with you - and I myself should be getting to the stage (long before now, actually) that I shouldn't care a fig what they think of me for voicing my dislike at their conduct..

Ray,I always take off my shoes when entering someone else's house. On a rare few occasions I've been told "No, that's alright you can keep your shoes on" but usually my respectful gesture upon entering someone else's home is meet with a smile and understanding. Like most people I want everyone to like me but the older I get I realize there are people who are never going to like me and so what? Will I ever see that rude and disrespectful workman again? A workman who cannot take ten seconds to put booties on (which I supply) isn't going to work in my house.Ron

Now that you mention it, Ron, I've a vague feeling that for a brief period, maybe in my teens, I also followed this practice. If so I don't know whence it was picked up as I've not heard of anyone else doing it in this country. It's rather like obligatory respect before entering a mosque.

In my sordid past I have known several Oriental families who removed their shoes before entering their houses and I think it's a good idea - especially if you have carpeting. Shoes are filthy germ carriers and - despite what many people say - shoes are NOT clean. You had every right to complain about the workers, especially if they were supposed to wear "booties".

Unfortunately, life is filled with rudeness and disrespect.Next time anyone tells you that their shoes are "clean", say to them "Okay, if they're clean, I need to see proof. Please remove them and lick the soles."

Jon,Even if I had all wood floors (which we had at our Pennsylvania house), I preferred people, especially workmen with their boot with the treads in the bottom of them which has accumulated who knows what, to take their shoes off. I didn't know about booties until a plumber I had in my house put on booties automatically upon entering our house. I thought that was such a nice a respectful gesture with so little effort on his part and it didn't diminish his manhood one iota. Life is filled with rudeness and disrespect and I'm at the age now where I'm just not accepting that behavior anymore, especially in my home.Ron

Nobody comes into my home with their shoes on. Period! If workmen won't wear booties, (I have wood floors) I put down washable sheets for them to walk on. My stairs are carpeted but hubby cleans them after workmen leave. And I don't go up there anyway. As soon as these people leave: I WASH DOWN ALL MY FLOORS AND REPOLISH THEM. UGH!!!!!Be thankful you don't live near NYC. Ever look down at a subway floor platform???? End of story.

Cindi,Good for you! This is my rule from here on out. No more accepting a lazy workman's refusal to wear booties because he's afraid his manhood will be compromised. Bill even put down old throw carpets for the workmen to walk on but when one of them came my carpeted stairs my mood dropped immediately. Why can't people, with so little effort, just be respectful? I did shampoo the rugs yesterday. I only have to do those carpeted stairs. then the New Rule is in effect. I haven't seen the subway floor platform in NYC but I have seen spit on the ground in parking lots, gas stations and many other locations where everyone walks. I don't want that in my house. And it won't happen again.Ron

Hey Ron - I think more and more people are getting accustomed to having to remove shoes. It just makes sense. I finally brought myself to ask visitors and strangers in my house not to put their hands on my flat white walls. I always had to go and clean soiled smudges from walls after they would leave. Often was the case they would be talking to me completely oblivious to my anxiety turmoiling inside. I just found it easier to make my request before anything happened. And of course some would say they wouldn't have dreamed doing that. Oh - I half expected to see a caricature of Wiley Coyote when you described your burning up at the worker going up and down you stairs in shoes.

Pat,Some people are just too lazy and disrespectful to do the right thing. They can't think past their own comfort. But if they want to be in my house they will comply by my rules, especially when I'm paying them big bucks to do a service.Ron

I'd take mine off. But you are EXTREME! A vacuum cleaner takes care of others. YEESH! Do you watch Keeping Up Appearances, a British sitcom? You sound just like Hyacinth Bucket ("It's pronounced boo-KAY").

I immediately thought of Hyacinth! Those work boots serve a purpose (steel toe in case of "accidents"). Booties are a definite courtesy, but consider they are then slippery, and may increase a case of "slip-n-fall" on the workers part. Just saying. ~~~ NB

NB,No one is going to slip on my carpeted floors just because they are wearing booties. As a matter of fact they get more traction. I can't and won't be held hostage to the comfort of a lazy and disrespectful worker. And yes, I have seen all the "Keeping Up Appearances" with Hyacinth. I love that show!Ron

To be honest, I was egging you on! HAHAHAHA!!! My sister-in-law wants shoes off in the house, but allow a truly nasty series of dogs in and out all day long. Even on the furniture! I come home with all my clothes covered in dog hair. But no shoes. When their kids were little, it was a pain in the a$$ to ever go anywhere because 5 or 6 people had to sort out the shoes in the pile inside the door, and the little ones, of course, had to be helped. Twenty minutes from 'let's go" to making it out the door!HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!Jay

the bottoms of shoes are indeed seething with nasty things esp. fecal germs, so it is most sensible of you to have shoes removed. I think this is a custom we should do more - and don't forget to wash the sneakers from time to time.

Dr. Spo,I agree. People don't realize the filth they're bringing into their home when they permit others to wear their shoes or not wear booties. I grew up in a home like that. I vowed not to live in a home like that ever again. Unfortunately, I have permitted laziness and disrespect to overrule my house rule but this won't happen again. Ever.Ron

Jean-Paul,Exactly right. It's my home and these are my rules, which are not unreasonable. I will never accede to laziness or disrespect again for fear of a confrontation. So I get a disgruntled workman who is pissed because he feels his manhood is compromised by wearing "booties." I'm looking forward to the first one I throw out of my house.Ron

Guest in your house are just that GUESTS. If you ask me to take off my shoes I am stripping down to my dirty ass and sitting on your upholstery. Workmen wear boots for safety. Give them a towel or rag to wipe off their boots but their safety and my modesty trumps your carpet. It has a life expectancy of 7 years. I generally enjoy your post but guest should be treated appropriately. Workmen are guest also. Did you provide water, lemonade or soda to the repairman? I can assure you if you do, you get a better job and a more conscientous workman. Be hospitable as I know you can be.

In my humble opinion, workmen are not guests, they are employees and they should have respect for their employers. I sure as hell wouldn't be serving them tea and finger sandwiches (I'm not Martha Stewart). If they happened to be working out in the hot sun ALL day, I'd offer water.

And as for "safety" boots - - these guys were installing an air & heating system, they weren't chopping redwoods in the yard. I can't imagine why heavy safety boots would be needed in a house.

Sorry if I sound bitchy, but sometimes I am.By the way, what happened to my initial comment?

Oh my "Anonymous", workmen are NOT GUESTS! Nice try, troll. And yes, I did provide water and bathroom facilities. I was respectful, the workmen were not. I am hospitable and respectful and I expect the same of anyone who enters my house, guests or workmen.Ron

Brought a smile. Growing up unless you were going around the back to the basement you took your shoes off at the door. And I'm going to real date myself one of our punishments was you had to "rake" the shag carpet in the front rooms. ��

3rdnlong,Taking your shoes off at the door is practiced by millions of households around the world. Unfortunately, here in the West we're still a little behind the times for this basic cleanliness habit.Ron

Always dressed to the teeth when I am invited ! Part of being polite and good looking for my hosts .Went to the hairdresser , put on my make-up and carefully decided what to wear , including jewelery and shoes !By taking them off at the door , I would feel naked and incomplete . It would do wrong on the total outfit .Guess you don't have many women guests visiting your home ... . right ?

Anonymous,Oh give me a break. "I would feel naked and incomplete" without your shoes? If you feel that way then I don't want you in my house. And your'e right, I don't have many women guests but probably because I'm gay and not marriage material.Ron

Okay, now these "anonymous" creatures are starting to annoy the hell out of me. WORKMEN are not GUESTS. And anonymity is an unbecoming coward's mask.....

I don't give a rat's ass what my guests wear, because eventually - - after ingesting enough cheap wine - - my guests are going to remove all their clothes.

And, with enough luck, many of the workman will be removing all of their clothes, too. Don't underestimate my persuasive charms.

I'm presently so upset after reading these anonymous comments that I accidentally left my cowboy boots on and completely ruined my white Siberian shag carpet. I hope the guys who come to install my NEW carpets will be goodlooking.....I plan to clean their booties.....

Jon,You are cute when you're angry (smile). Ever since I began writing my blog it never ceases to amaze me at the level of ignorance that is sometimes displayed by the "Anonymous" comments. The only thing that makes sense to me is that most of them are trolls just trying to get a rise out of me. Workmen guests? NO.Ron

Sweet February

I am a 76 year old gay man who retired to Delaware eleven years ago from Pennsylvania with my partner now husband of 53 years. We left Pennsylvania to escape the ever increasing high taxes for the more tax friendly state of Delaware. Now living on a fixed income supplemented by a part-time job as a front desk agent at a local hotel, we are making the most of our declining years. We've both had a fabulous life but we are slowing down now but still having a wonderful life. This blog I write is partly for my own therapy and to share and make friends with others out there in the universe.