Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

In 48 hours I have watched my world spin before me. Satan is attacking....and at his best. I sing those words above in the the song "You never let go" and tonight, that song has never meant more to me than it does right now. How quickly life can change from one moment to the next to make you appreciate what you have, regardless if life goes your way or not. I don't want to live my life in fear of what "man" can do to me, but yet, what God won't do for me if I don't obey his word.

2 Timothy 1:7 God didn't give us a spirit that makes us weak and fearful. He gave us a spirit that gives us power and love. It helps us control ourselves.

I believe I am a strong person because God made me that way. I believe man has made me afraid, scared, fearful, of the things in this life. When I allow fear to take over, I am allowing Satan access to my heart. God gives us the guidelines to live and all we have to do is follow them. Easy huh? Yeah...not always. There is always a challange....but not one that He put before us.

My biggest challange and goal this week is forgivness. I have to choose love and forgivness because that is what I am taught to do. It's not always easy, but I am praying so hard that God makes it easy for me. Where is that warm and fuzzy feeling you were supposed to get with forgivness?

I've learned by reading the story in Matthew about how Peter questioned God on how many times he had to forgive. There is no doubt in my mind that forgivness is a must.....not a maybe! And I figure if Peter can forgive, so can I.

I am very thankful that God has made it so easy today for me to forgive. How could I possibly hold something against someone when I am not a perfect person myself. Where would I be today if others held me accountable for my shortcomings? Jesus died on the cross for me.....forgiving me for my sins! Am I willing to put someone else up there with Him? No. He died for me, and He died for those that hurt me. He loves me....and He loves them too.

I pray that God gives me the gift of grace, mercy, love and encouragement so that I can be at peace in my heart......true peace that only comes from Him.

The opposite of forgive is to 'give for' so that I can give back what He gave me.

I praise Him today as He fills my heart with such joy and that my spirit can find peace and rest in His arms.

Friday, September 25, 2009

When asked about the emotional aspects of my job, the answers usually vary.

In the beginning, I cried....A LOT.

Now, I don't cry very much but I think a lot more. I think about life.

There is a video they like to show you that really cuts to the core of your heart. I don't think it matters if you are an emotional person or not, this video will send a spear straight through your heart. And I think that's a good thing.

Not just in my profession, but for everyone.

So many times we get wrapped up in the things of life. Work, school, family, church, sports functions, socialization,etc. and we forget what life is really about.

I thought about the way my life is today. I have lots of friends and I am very blessed. But do I tell them enough how Thankful I am for them? I think I had a tear flow today for every friend I've got, and that's a lot of tears. I'm selfish in a way that I don't let them know enough how special they are to me. If I were gone tomorrow, would they know? Did I make them feel special? Did I make them feel important? Did they know that I loved them? Did they? Man....it was hard. But most importantly, was I the kind of friend that helped them grow closer to God so that we can spend eternity together? How often do I get myself wrapped up in the other things in life that I forget about letting people know they hold such a special place in my heart and without them, my heart would be.....well....dead. There would be no beat at all.

I know this will not only help me in my personal life, but in my job as well. I've been known to cry and hug on families in a time of loss and I will continue to do so if it is what they need. They need to know that we are humans with emotions too. When the job is going on, I have to be strong, but when it's over....either a good or bad outcome.....it's okay to have some emotions and share what you truly feel in your heart with those around you.

We shouldn't ever go a day without letting those you love know how you feel. If you love them...tell them you love them. Tomorrow, we may not have a chance.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I thought I loved what I did for a living.....until today. Now I KNOW I DO!

All I can say is WOW! We got to be part of an autopsy today and let me just say, our God is amazing. I wonder how long he had to think this stuff up! And it is very evident that all of us in the medical profession have to have a sense of humor to do something like this. I never thought I would laugh so hard and learn so much.

But in all seriousness, God made a masterpiece when he made man. Well...and woman too:o) I think of all of the amazing things that man has made on this earth and NOTHING tops what I saw today.

To know that God started with dust and created us in his own image is the greatest thing ever.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.(Psalm 139:14).

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Today I found a part of me that I don't like. It's called Anger. And it usually only comes around when I'm not feeling well and when it attacks, it heads straight for my heart.

I have a few areas I need to work on in my life and this is one. I don't get angry very often. Now....I do get upset with things....but I'm talking all out anger. The kind where you blood pressure rises to numbers that exceed the scale. You explode! You yell! You say things you don't mean! Yep....that was me. Sheesh. I don't like that person and I pray that God gets rid of her.

Eph 4:26-27 says "In your anger do not sin" Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,and do not give the devil a foothold.

I had to make some apologies that were very difficult. But it all turned out very well in the end. I just hope that I can remember how I felt today and the next time I get angry, I choose something different.

Monday, September 21, 2009

I love what I do because I get to help a lot of people who can't really help themselves. My days at work are busy, but they end up being really funny by the end of the night. As I drive home, I always reflect on the days events. Things that were said to me, things I said to the patients, the times of laughing, and the times of tears. But all in all, each day is a great day! Even days like this where I get to walk in and hold David. All he needed was some love from me.....and he gave it right back.

Yesterday I walked into the room of an elderly patient. She looked up with a big grin as I just saw her the day before. She said she was glad to see me again! I was flattered and told her I was happy to see her awake and smiling today. She came in due to SOB (shortness of breath). What did you THINK that meant?I proceeded to give her medication when my pager went off. I took off my gloves and walked to the door and in all seriousness I actually said: "I'll be right back....just keep breathing" When I came back, I couldn't figure out why they were laughing so hard. I proceeded to ask when they finally said:"We didn't know that you actaully had to TELL the patients to keep breathing!We thought that kinda stuff just happened!!!!" We all got a good laugh out of it.

I was called to see another patient down the hall that was having...well.....SOB. Sorry...it's what I do! I proceeded to listen to her lungs when I said "Big Big Breaths" when she looked up at me and said "Lady....I'm 90! They just sag now. But my husband never complained!" (just think for a minute)

I love them so. The young and the old. The living....and the dying. They all get the same thing from me. Love. I may have the training, carry the drugs, and know how to save your life, but we are all capeable of giving each other what we need. LOVE. Romans 12:10 says "Love each other deeply. Honor others more than yourselves"When I work, I'm honoring them more than myself. When I started working, it wasn't for the money. I had to find something I was passionate about. And I found out that I am passionate about people. I love people. I have to take care of teachers, the homeless, preachers, convicts, lawyers, murderers, celebrities, rapist, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and everyone.....just alike. They may be 700lbs or 7lbs...but all the same to me. They all have a beating heart that God gave them. All they may need is love. Do any one of them deserve LESS than what I would give myself? No! 1 John 3:18 says "Dear children, don't just talk about love. Put your love into action. Then it will truly be love." We don't have to have a diploma to do this. We don't have to have the credentials behind our name to be a Florence Nightengale to everyone. It doesn't take brains to be a nurse, it takes a heart. 1 John 4:7 says "Dear friends, let us love one another, because love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born again because of what God has done. That person knows God." Romans 13:10 "Love does not harm its neighbor. So love does everything the law requires." So what is the law? John 13:34 "I give you a new command. Love one another. You must love one another, just as I have loved you."There are so many verses on love and each one would fit within the scope of what I do. But it's not about a job. It's all about love. The United Way has the coolest saying out right now:

"We make a living by what we get......but we make a life by what we give"

Friday, September 18, 2009

I'm so excited to be feeling energized again! I've had a song in my heart all day! I came home to be with the family and we had dance night. I have to admit, if I find any photos posted from tonight someone will be in big trouble! However, it was fun. I probably burned off a ton of calories as well as had fun learning dance moves from Emilie....and I think I taught her a few that she thought were pretty funny! I went all the way back to the Roger Rabbit and the Walking Man. I think she's got it down. Dance night was fun. We love more than anything to sing and dance and make music together and that is what we did! But today....the fun song of my Friday has been SING, SING, SING! ENJOY!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

No, it's not the name of the song, but I can't help but sing this song over and over. Especially when I stop and think about some of the decisions I have made in my life, He still loves me. He did all those things for me. He knows my way even when I fail him. He's constantly is with me. His blood shed for me. He overcame the grave. Only I separate myself by my sins. He's gone before me, He's shielding my way. His hand upholds me. He tore the veil! He made that way! He said IT IS DONE! And one day, I will stand before Him and say those precious words "I know you love me".

For the past year this song has become a staple for me. In good times, in sad times, in happy times, in all times, we should always remember how much He loves us. Satan attacks us so much by putting thoughts in our heads. Because God loves us, He gives us the word and wonderful writers who produce powerful songs such as this. And because of that, I sing this song today in spite of what Satan tries to do. No matter what, I KNOW He loves me....and still loves me....and still loves me. I say it with a smile. My heart smiles to know that my God still loves me.

Eph 1:17-20 (NIRV) I pray to the God of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the glorious Father. I keep asking him to give you the wisdom and understanding that come from the Holy Spirit. I want you to know God better. I also pray that your mind might see more clearly. Then you will know the hope God has chosen you to receive. You will know that the things God's people will receive are rich and glorious. And you will know his great power. It can't be compared with anything else. It is at work for us who believe. It is like the mighty strength God showed when he raised Christ from the dead. He seated him at his right hand in his heavenly kingdom.

I pray that everyday.....we grow to know God better...and just how much He loves us!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

For days and weeks I have attempted over and over to write a blog. I just cant. So many thoughts that I just can't put into words. It would be very random for sure if I did. For now, my fingers and my mind will rest until I find what is on my heart that I have the energy to write.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

I love how at chruch we get to choose names for children to pray for. I think it's such an honor to pray, but yet, pray specifically for one persons child and the struggles they may go through. I always thought this was really neat because they didn't know who was praying for them...... but this year, it's going to be different because of one person for me.

On Sunday a woman came to me and told me she had chosen Emilie's name. I was honored that she did so. Then she proceeded to ask me to send her an email or stop her at church if there was anything specifically she could pray for. What a nice thought. She could have just been praying and never said anything and God would still have heard the prayer. But she really wants to lift Emilie up in very specific ways and if that helps her in her prayer time and gets one more prayer for my child up to Heaven......well I think that's great. I couldn't think of anything specific at the time, but I recieved a not today from Emilies teacher regarding some very big struggles Emilie is having. I immediately thought of Emilie's prayer warrior that I could e-mail to help me talk to God and seek His authority and wisdom in this matter. I was then at peace.

Today I will contact the parents of the 2 children I chose to pray for and offer the same request. I hope it will bring them as much comfort as it did me.

Satan has figured out that he can't get to me directly....so he is using my children. So much that even one of them told me this morning they feel Satan is attacking and they don't know what to do. That kind of cry can't be taken lightly. It's hard enough being a kid without satan sticking his nose in the middle of it. But little does he know, he's going to have to get through me first.

I don't know who is praying for my boys....but I am. I hope their prayer warriors are diligent this week in asking God to protect our kids. They are in the middle of a battle that they don't know how to fight and I pray that God will give me the strength (emotionally and physically) to jump in the fire to save them and rescue them from whatever it is that is attacking their hearts.