You seeem to deal more directly (and possibly affectively) with the issue at hand than any AA or therapist I have seen. I am guessing you speak from experience rather than schooling. Thanks for your time

Continue seeing your therapist. I can't stress that enough. As much as you want to bash their face in, you're being honest. With both yourself, and another human being--and that's a super-human start. It hurts, yes. Hurts like no one could ever articulate or begin to imagine. This is about YOU. Don't ever forget this.

Put possessions on hold, go off the grid. WE want you healthy and happy. Stressing about bills, a woman, life (in general)--is only setting you up to fail. Trust me, I've been there. In its most simplest form, focus on YOU. Forget past transgressions, YOU. This disease is autonomously set out to KILL us. The jokes on the disease, we can choose to fight and put that f'er in recovery.

Originally Posted by BigNickel

I was sober over 9 years, not a drop that whole time. Then for some silly reason I decided to try drinking again (I'm an adult, right?)

Let me tell you guys, it's everything they say it is. You wind up exactly where you left off and it ain't pretty. I almost had 10 years and I messed it all up, but more importantly I made an ass out of myself. It's shameful and very humiliating but it's all part of being a recovering alcoholic I guess.

Tomorrow I will be 1 week sober, again. Wish me luck this time, I freakin need it.

I was sober over 9 years, not a drop that whole time. Then for some silly reason I decided to try drinking again (I'm an adult, right?)

Let me tell you guys, it's everything they say it is. You wind up exactly where you left off and it ain't pretty. I almost had 10 years and I messed it all up, but more importantly I made an ass out of myself. It's shameful and very humiliating but it's all part of being a recovering alcoholic I guess.

Tomorrow I will be 1 week sober, again. Wish me luck this time, I freakin need it.

I do that too. I am an adult. I should be able to be mature and responsible and have a few drinks from time to time. But it always leads to benders. Maybe not right away, but it gets there. I refuse to believe that I cannot control alcohol. People with eating disorders don't stop eating forever. I have a drinking problem that I need to be man enough to fix and then enjoy a responsible drink. This is really what I believe..... it just doesn't seem to materialize well.

I quit that a long time ago. Spent 3 months with him. Completely clean and sober. Soon as I convinced him I was "fine", I quit going and started drinking again. He mainly just asked me stupid questions and had me read self help books (which I do enjoy doing). But I couldn't pay money to answer BS questions and read books. I can do that on my own. I wanted him to say "This your problem, do this to fix it" but I know its not that easy

I quit that a long time ago. Spent 3 months with him. Completely clean and sober. Soon as I convinced him I was "fine", I quit going and started drinking again. He mainly just asked me stupid questions and had me read self help books (which I do enjoy doing). But I couldn't pay money to answer BS questions and read books. I can do that on my own. I wanted him to say "This your problem, do this to fix it" but I know its not that easy

It is that easy. You already know what your problem is. Find a different therapist

I do that too. I am an adult. I should be able to be mature and responsible and have a few drinks from time to time. But it always leads to benders. Maybe not right away, but it gets there. I refuse to believe that I cannot control alcohol. People with eating disorders don't stop eating forever. I have a drinking problem that I need to be man enough to fix and then enjoy a responsible drink. This is really what I believe..... it just doesn't seem to materialize well.

Good luck partner and God speed.

I know that feel bro.

But it just don't work! And if someone with an eating disorder stops eating, they still have an eating disorder.

I can't say for sure about you, but for me I believe I have a disease, it's hereditary. The disease that tells you "you're ok, of course you're competent enough to make your own decisions." Then it makes them for you.

When I try to control myself, those are often the worst nights of all. Last bender I went on, I remember getting 3 or 4 drinks in, and trying to chug a bunch of water to put off the buzz, just so I could drink longer. This didn't work!! Even though I knew I needed to control myself, the more drunk I got the less control I had. By the end of the night I had been kicked out of 4 bars, and I am surprised I didn't get my head kicked in.

I don't know how I got home (footage missing/blackout drunk) but at least I woke up in my own bed, alone. It's Wednesdays like this that just prove how malicious my disease really is.

Ok, so my goal on the 1st of January this year was to go a full calendar year without a drink. I have two weeks to go and alcohol has not passed my lips once in the last 50 weeks, so I'm almost there.

The benefits are clear to me now, such as clearer mind, fitter body, more respect from people, bigger bank balance (I've saved $8000, which would have otherwise been spent on drinking), happier wife and kids.....but now I am really starting to crave a drink. The first few weeks of the year were hard, but after that intial challenging period, I didn't notice the feeling as much. I went months without thinking about alcohol. Now that all my friends and family are gearing up for Christmas, I'm finding it very difficult to manage my need for a drink. That said, I've been tempted and pressured all year to 'have a sip' and I haven't faultered once. You find out who your real friends are when you give up the things you spend the most time doing together...in this case...drinking.

Once 2013 begins, it will be interesting. I'm somewhere between "I'll be a more responsible drinker now that I've had a year without booze" and "Fu ck it, I wanna reward myself hard for achieving a year without alcohol". There's also some "I wonder if I'll even like the taste of alcohol again...maybe I should just quit drinking forever" thrown in. While all three options are possible, the most likely outcome will be that I'll be more responsible with my use of alcohol and only drink moderately and on special occasions.

A year without a drink has improved my life immensely. I highly recommend it to anyone.

Ok, so my goal on the 1st of January this year was to go a full calendar year without a drink. I have two weeks to go and alcohol has not passed my lips once in the last 50 weeks, so I'm almost there.

The benefits are clear to me now, such as clearer mind, fitter body, more respect from people, bigger bank balance (I've saved $8000, which would have otherwise been spent on drinking), happier wife and kids.....but now I am really starting to crave a drink. The first few weeks of the year were hard, but after that intial challenging period, I didn't notice the feeling as much. I went months without thinking about alcohol. Now that all my friends and family are gearing up for Christmas, I'm finding it very difficult to manage my need for a drink. That said, I've been tempted and pressured all year to 'have a sip' and I haven't faultered once. You find out who your real friends are when you give up the things you spend the most time doing together...in this case...drinking.

Once 2013 begins, it will be interesting. I'm somewhere between "I'll be a more responsible drinker now that I've had a year without booze" and "Fu ck it, I wanna reward myself hard for achieving a year without alcohol". There's also some "I wonder if I'll even like the taste of alcohol again...maybe I should just quit drinking forever" thrown in. While all three options are possible, the most likely outcome will be that I'll be more responsible with my use of alcohol and only drink moderately and on special occasions.

A year without a drink has improved my life immensely. I highly recommend it to anyone.

Wow man. Congrats. A full year is impressive.

The only word of caution I would give is to be careful if you do decide to drink again. Pretty much everyone who stops drinking and then starts up again says they'll be more responsible and it won't be a problem this time. But the reality is that most people end up going right back to where they were when they originally quit. So, just be careful.

Everything depends upon execution; having just a vision is no solution.

Performance and performance alone dictates the predator in any food chain.

Jackals, be very cautious. Your mind will trick you into thinking you will be responsible, and you might be a time or two. In my experience it always leads back to "how the he11 did I get here again". However I am still fighting to drink responsibly so either I think there is hope or I am fooling myself. If you made it a year.... wow. I would say don't risk it. Just be sure and think it out. Don't let anyone pressure you to do it their way. Good luck and CONGRATS on a year!

Jackals, be very cautious. Your mind will trick you into thinking you will be responsible, and you might be a time or two. In my experience it always leads back to "how the he11 did I get here again". However I am still fighting to drink responsibly so either I think there is hope or I am fooling myself. If you made it a year.... wow. I would say don't risk it. Just be sure and think it out. Don't let anyone pressure you to do it their way. Good luck and CONGRATS on a year!

Thanks man. Yeah, I get what you're saying. With one day to go, I am planning on having a couple of drinks January 1, but this will be at home with the family and small group of trusted friends. And now that a full year if no drinking has been completed, I have this weird sense right now of not even caring if I drink again or not....compare this to a year ago and drinking every day was the norm. So in that sense, I feel the change in mindset alone has been worthwhile. Thanks again!

I wanted to start this thread for a little motivation to not drink again. I will update my progress as the weeks/months go on with honest feedback from the weekends events.

Reasons:
-Legal troubles in the past.
-I'm newly married and if I want to have a healthy relationship with my wife I can not drink.
-I have a family history of alcohol abuse and it needs to end with me. My father lost his family because he couldn't say NO, I need to learn from his mistake.
-No more pointless drama, stupid arguments, and conflicts in general.
-save money
-wake up early on a Friday & Saturday for change.
-Mental health

Since June 09 I've been doing pretty good about keeping it to the weekends only. Before that I drank every other day, some weeks, every day. I always had an excuse for it saying I didn't have anything to do the next day or I didn't drink yesterday so today it's ok.

I wanted a change in my life so I decided to quit drinking during the week and start going to the gym again.
Now, it's not any better. I find my self very irritable on the days that I don't drink and I binge drink on the weekends. I won't say how much I drink but I know I only stop when I'm passed out on the couch.
This past weekend I got into a pretty good fight with my wife and I almost lost her.

I'm done. The only way for me to be healthy is to quit the cycle that I think I can control. I can not drink in moderation, I've tried. It's lasts for a while and then SMACK! It's back.

Thanks man. Yeah, I get what you're saying. With one day to go, I am planning on having a couple of drinks January 1, but this will be at home with the family and small group of trusted friends. And now that a full year if no drinking has been completed, I have this weird sense right now of not even caring if I drink again or not....compare this to a year ago and drinking every day was the norm. So in that sense, I feel the change in mindset alone has been worthwhile. Thanks again!

I have still been fightin with moderation. Had another 2 day bender with "scene missing" here and there. I am going on the wagon. New year no alcohol period. I can't. I am gonna kill someone or myself or end up in jail. I cannot stay out from behind the wheel when drinking. So part of my worry for you is because of my own miserable failures. Like a dog returns to his vomit. Good luck.

I have still been fightin with moderation. Had another 2 day bender with "scene missing" here and there. I am going on the wagon. New year no alcohol period. I can't. I am gonna kill someone or myself or end up in jail. I cannot stay out from behind the wheel when drinking. So part of my worry for you is because of my own miserable failures. Like a dog returns to his vomit. Good luck.

Im in the same boat as you and pretty much everybody posting above me. Most of you guys are older than me but one thing Ive learned is that alcohol doesnt give a damn how old you are or who you are. The seeds are in me through the gene pool and surrounding myself with the same type of people only enhanced it. Ive been drinking since I was 13, drinking and driving since I got my license just never got caught untill almost a year ago. I still drank even after I got caught and after I got locked up. However, losing a license gives you a lot of time to self reflect over the years.

Even though its only been since sept 28th since my last drink it has been hard but mentally and physically rewarding. However my social life has come to a stand still due to most if not all my "friends" do the bar/party scene, which I still do participate in just not consume the alcohol. But if you sit around a doughnut shop long enough, how long do u think it will take until you eat a doughnut...

Today is gunna be a bitch (im glad I saw this thread) I just gotta remain mentally strong. Alcohol doesn't benefit me in anyways shape or form and has whooped my ass mentally, physically, and emotionally. The only abuse my body gets now is from the gym. I have to make sure I water the right seeds and never water my destructive ones.

Shysty, I know what you mean about tonight. I will be at home alone. I try to go out with friends and not drink. Like you said it does nothing but cause problems and make me look stupid. Inumerable times it has done this. Yet I still go back. For me it seems its either a life of solitude or a life of problems caused by alcohol or my lack of control of it. Good luck.

I don't know if I can ask 'bout something here, but I hope you won't mind. Well my dad is drinking beer, he's doing that since his struggles with job started (something about 20 years i think). But when he had job he was also drinking and found another excuse. Lately situation is getting even worse, his depression too. Anyone could tell me how can I help him? I've made own post (in case someone would want to know more). Please guys, help me and tell your experience, what works for you... I'm so fed up right now and I'm also numb for him cuz his drinking all freakin' day&night due to New Year. I've cried today so much because of him so now I just don't even look at him. He is very good in hiding his alcohol lately... Thanks for reading anyway.

I don't know if I can ask 'bout something here, but I hope you won't mind. Well my dad is drinking beer, he's doing that since his struggles with job started (something about 20 years i think). But when he had job he was also drinking and found another excuse. Lately situation is getting even worse, his depression too. Anyone could tell me how can I help him? I've made own post (in case someone would want to know more). Please guys, help me and tell your experience, what works for you... I'm so fed up right now and I'm also numb for him cuz his drinking all freakin' day&night due to New Year. I've cried today so much because of him so now I just don't even look at him. He is very good in hiding his alcohol lately... Thanks for reading anyway.

Excuses are comon. I think we have all done it. When one excuse doesn't work we find another. And for me any way alcohol EXTREMELY magnifys my depression. Talk to him some time and let him know how you feel (with respect and gentleness) try not to do it when he is drinking but maybe if you can catch him in the dumps when he is trying to recover. Life without alcohol is very foreign for some of us and almost scary. Approach him gently and respectfully. Tell him how his drinking affects you and how you see it affecting him. Don't take cheap shots and try not to be judgemental. Just lay out the truth and be PATIENT. It will take time for him to clear the fog enough to understand. But if he is any kind of father at all, even if it seems like he does not listen or does not care, if a mans child tells him something is making them think less of him or not want to be around him he will be affected. Maybe just a seed planteedd deep that needs some watering to grow into real change, but you have to start somewhere. Good luck and check back. There are alot of caring helpful people here.

first of all, i think it's important to determine if your dad himself has any real desire to fix his drinking habit. if so, you can work with him to figure out ways to hide the alcohol from him or prevent him from accessing it in the future. if not, i'd recommend letting him deal with his own problem alone, unless you are living with him as a dependent of his. really, you should focus on taking care of yourself first and foremost, even if that means living away from your father. that is my honest opinion. sorry if i sound harsh

Wow, never saw this thread until now. I struggle with the same issues, and have been for quite a few years. My dad almost died from pancreatitis from his drinking. He hasnt drank a drop since before I was even born. Im in the Navy, so I COULD take advantage of the fact that they do provide treatment if I dared to actually be fully honest how severe my drinking is and then doing that would...kind of be like the point of no return and I still dont think Im ready to test that yet...

Its cool to see other brahs here that understand instead of "oh weak willed phaggot" and other such stuff. The part about wanting to think, no matter how many countless times our experience has shown us to the contrary, that we can control it...well its good to see people here understand. Subbed to this thread.

never drank alcohol and 18 checking in (australian drinking age is 18)

got my heart broken by alcohol, girl i liked which liked me back was ****ing some slut while she was drunk - i talked to her and **** when down.
also every weekend someone i know, knows someone whos died from drink driving... ****s outta control.

Excuses are comon. I think we have all done it. When one excuse doesn't work we find another. And for me any way alcohol EXTREMELY magnifys my depression. Talk to him some time and let him know how you feel (with respect and gentleness) try not to do it when he is drinking but maybe if you can catch him in the dumps when he is trying to recover. Life without alcohol is very foreign for some of us and almost scary. Approach him gently and respectfully. Tell him how his drinking affects you and how you see it affecting him. Don't take cheap shots and try not to be judgemental. Just lay out the truth and be PATIENT. It will take time for him to clear the fog enough to understand. But if he is any kind of father at all, even if it seems like he does not listen or does not care, if a mans child tells him something is making them think less of him or not want to be around him he will be affected. Maybe just a seed planteedd deep that needs some watering to grow into real change, but you have to start somewhere. Good luck and check back. There are alot of caring helpful people here.

So when I went to school today I haven't removed my Internet browser history and dad saw view articles about drinking. I hope he has read it... When i came back to home history was removed so maybe he was searching for more information? I hope so and I'm going to do similar things in the future.
@upliftalldotcom
I'm dependent on him so it's kind of hard. I'm trying to care about myself first, but I love him more than I love myself so it's a ****ty situation.

Hi I would like to join this "group/family", I posted this in the misc a while back but not a lot of serious replies. Here is just one of many stories I have. I have basically copied and pasted it so I hope it all makes sense. Hopefully someone can relate anyway here goes:

Right a little background on myself I suffer from manic depression(bipolar) and have been sectioned in a mental hospital 5 times. I used to use alcohol as an escape until it took over my life. I lost jobs through it got kicked out of university. Lost friends, girlfriends and nearly lost my family. Had my fair share of seizures. It all came to a head one day about 2 years ago when I went on a 10 day binge.

After the 10 day binge I stopped drinking and thought this is it I can't go on keep on drinking. So I stopped drinking and the withdrawal began. After the first day I got the usual, shakiness, sweating, anxiety, nothing serious. In the past through drinking and stopping I took seizures, ended up in hospital through the seizures.

Second day still a little shaky, a little sweating, anxiety. Third day came and it all went away, I thought great time to get my life in order.

Fourth day came and I woke up at 7am. I could hear someone playing music(don't ask why but evanescence - bring me to life lol) and I thought to myself this is not right. A couple of hours later I could hear my brother and little cousin talking but couldn't see them so I let the house in my bare feet disorientated. Ran 4 miles from my home in my bare feet and didn't have a clue what was going on apart from my brother and cousin says they had invisible paint on and were gonna follow me everywhere. I came back to my house and got about 1 and a half mile from my house and trees started talking to me.

I eventually made it home now i could see them and my cat but 5 of my cast so I admitted myself to hospital. They connected me to a drip and gave me pills. The soap at the end of the hospital beds were now after me so I ran out the hospital and they sounded the alarm, I had 5 nurses and 3 guards after me while i ran outside in my hospital gown and they eventually pounced on me about half a mile from the hospital and they knocked me out with what my friends mum said enough valium(diazepam) to knock out a horse. She said she hasn't seen anyone get so much. I must have passed out.

I spent the next 6 days in hospital knocked out(not literally) on diazepam. They took my liver function which was 226(can't remember the measurement) but normal is 10-55. I still see a psychiatrist and psychologist and get monitored very closely on my medication because before my stay in hospital and between getting sectioned I took a bottle of pills and a litre of vodka to try and end it but I got found in the nick of time.

The reason I make this thread(and sorry no cliffs because you need to understand what happened) is to answer any questions what anyone may have about the dangers of alcohol, have alcohol use, withdrawal and mental illness(preferably in bipolar or depression). Hopefully I can help people.

STAY SAFE and hope to get some questions which I can help people with :-).

So when I went to school today I haven't removed my Internet browser history and dad saw view articles about drinking. I hope he has read it... When i came back to home history was removed so maybe he was searching for more information? I hope so and I'm going to do similar things in the future.
@upliftalldotcom
I'm dependent on him so it's kind of hard. I'm trying to care about myself first, but I love him more than I love myself so it's a ****ty situation.

I just remembered when I was having alot of trouble people suggested Al-Anon to my wife. It is for family members of alcoholics. They can help you understand how to help him. Be open minded. I always said I would never go to Alcoholics Anonymous because it was stupid. Then I finally got fead up enough that I went. It actually really helped. I quit going and guess what.... I am having drinkin trouble again. Enough about me, seek outside help. It can really be a big help.

Well to be honest I still have had my days of drinking, although I really shouldn't. I may drink like a fri, sat and sun afternoon then stop for 2 and a half weeks or whatever. This year I hope with sheer will and determination I can stop drinking totally this year. I will admit I had a drink with a friend the day after boxing day but after that day I was like right that's it. I am also glad they caught on that the bipolar was making me make irrational decisions. I couldn't really fathom it myself how my mood fluctuated, not sleeping for days etc. I am getting better on that though, on tablets for the moods(depakote 1 gram twice a day), anti-psychotic(seroquel XL 800 mg before bed) and a tablet when needed for the hyperactivity/adrenaline(propranolol) just to calm me down a bit can take that up to 4 times a day though that doesn't really do much i don't think.

I have finally been able to get back into work only part time at minimum wage and i have an honours degree. It is a start I suppose and I believe if I continue with my medication, stay away from drink and people who I associate with drinking and keep seeing my psychiatrist/psychologist, I can really do it this time. I don't want to end back up in a psychiatric ward I feel like I am becoming part of the furniture lol. It's not just for me, I feel like a selfish CU*T towards my family for everything I have put them through.

Got to stay positive and if I am allowed I would like to post in here how I get on and hopefully stay positive with other people and help each other through it, although I feel I may be at the very bad end of the scale compared to others.

So will be a week tomorrow since my last drink. Feel ok, feel positive and hope veryone else can remain positive and don't let it take over your life before it's too late. Alcohol is very dangerous and can ruin literally every organ in your body physically and mentally. Psychosis is not a place you want to be in. Believe me.

I just remembered when I was having alot of trouble people suggested Al-Anon to my wife. It is for family members of alcoholics. They can help you understand how to help him. Be open minded. I always said I would never go to Alcoholics Anonymous because it was stupid. Then I finally got fead up enough that I went. It actually really helped. I quit going and guess what.... I am having drinkin trouble again. Enough about me, seek outside help. It can really be a big help.

I could be wrong but you seem to be like me, can go ages without drinking then bam you get the taste for it. I think the best thing for people like ourselves is complete abstinence because i know i will set myself a drink limit then when i get to it, i'm like one more won't hurt and so it continues for a day or 4. Stay strong man and don't feel ashamed or weak if you need to get outside help again

I could be wrong but you seem to be like me, can go ages without drinking then bam you get the taste for it. I think the best thing for people like ourselves is complete abstinence because i know i will set myself a drink limit then when i get to it, i'm like one more won't hurt and so it continues for a day or 4. Stay strong man and don't feel ashamed or weak if you need to get outside help again

That is exactly how I am. And it is unpredictable. I may go for a month of drinking a few on friday and saturday then I get around the right people or the right situation and my few goes out the window. I "just one more" until I say fock it and drink all I can get. And yes it turns into more than one night. Days later when I attempt to sober up I am so depressed alll I do is cry like a girl about nothing and wish I could fall off the face of the earth. Its a bad feeling. One I honestly want to never feel again. But my memory fades a bit and I tell myself I can do the moderation thing and then boom...another episode

I wanted to start this thread for a little motivation to not drink again. I will update my progress as the weeks/months go on with honest feedback from the weekends events.

Reasons:
-Legal troubles in the past.
-I'm newly married and if I want to have a healthy relationship with my wife I can not drink.
-I have a family history of alcohol abuse and it needs to end with me. My father lost his family because he couldn't say NO, I need to learn from his mistake.
-No more pointless drama, stupid arguments, and conflicts in general.
-save money
-wake up early on a Friday & Saturday for change.
-Mental health

Since June 09 I've been doing pretty good about keeping it to the weekends only. Before that I drank every other day, some weeks, every day. I always had an excuse for it saying I didn't have anything to do the next day or I didn't drink yesterday so today it's ok.

I wanted a change in my life so I decided to quit drinking during the week and start going to the gym again.
Now, it's not any better. I find my self very irritable on the days that I don't drink and I binge drink on the weekends. I won't say how much I drink but I know I only stop when I'm passed out on the couch.
This past weekend I got into a pretty good fight with my wife and I almost lost her.

I'm done. The only way for me to be healthy is to quit the cycle that I think I can control. I can not drink in moderation, I've tried. It's lasts for a while and then SMACK! It's back.

Congrats on the choice to quit! I'm aiming for not drinking for the first 6 months of this year as a small goal, and aiming bigger when I achieve this one. I was in the same boat drinking wayyy too much on the weekends, and then you're hungover for two days and feel ****. I skip workouts like a champ when I'm hungover, and I cannot go a week without drinking. As soon as I start to not feel like **** anymore I think "Hey.. I can drink again!" So with the goal of feeling good all of the time cheers to the start of a healthier life!