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You see, my Number One fan is my mother. Yes, my mother has been promoting my book as soon as it arrived in the containers from the printer to the publishing house. My mother has been to visit (read: check up on) every Judaica book-store in her Brooklyn neighborhood. Her purpose and modus operandi is to to do one thing: make sure that “Mazel Tov! It’s a Bubby!” is positioned and propped up on the shelf in the store, for optimum visibility.

My mom is not alone in her agenda. Two weeks ago, one of my sisters walked into a Judaica Store called “Torah Treasures” (plug, plug…) to ask whether the owner was planning on stocking MTIAB. (you think I’m going to type out all the words and exclamation points every time again and again??). Well, he gave her the wrong answer. “Probably.”

To which my sister said…well, actually I don’t know what she said! But whatever she said may have worked for that store —but here’s another scenario: the day of release, my niece called me from another section of New York, whilst in a prominent bookstore over there, wondering, “Aunt M, why is your book not in this store? I’m here at 10 am and they don’t have it…”

Well how was I supposed to know? Hey, I’m 3,000 miles away from New York, and she expects me to be following the arrivals of every one of MTIAB in every store?

Does my niece (or anyone for that matter) think that I have spies in each store, tracking which store stocks first, second, third, and which one is the slow poke and waits until the book is practically read by the whole world, to order it?

I walked into a store here in Los Angeles (yes, I’m guilty of store stalking as well) and asked the owner if he has “MTIAB” (I said the words, okay okay —- not the initials), and he had that dazed look on his face.

“Who is the author?”

“Uh…ME!” (BIG smile.)

Problem is the guy didn’t know me. LA is big enough that people don’t all know each other.

Well, to make a long story short, by the time I got out of that store, the guy knew my name, my book, what it’s about, who already has it in town, and why he had better get it in fast before it goes out of print.

So sellers beware – I – or anyone of my minions or scouts – may be coming out to check up on you whether you have MTIAB on your shelves.

And by the way, sellers: my suggestion to you is to please put those books prominently near the front of the store, at eye level with the average customer when he or she (probably she, I guess) walks in.

Because you don’t want the Bubby’s mommy coming in to reprimand you about your placement of the Bubby’s book. That’s not something you want, if you know what’s good for you.