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Author
Topic: Gay pride: the good the bad and the ugly (Read 13303 times)

I don't like Gay Pride, I never related to the people I see parading in the streets, I am not proud of being gay, I'm just gay, it's not an achievement, I'm only proud of things I achieve.

The only Gay Pride that really moved me was in New York City in 1999, for the 30 years of the Stonewall Riots. I was standing in front of the Stonewall bar when the parade stopped and veterans that participated in the riots 30 years before stood up (most were 70-80yo) and an amazing 30 minute applause greeted them. I cried realizing that owed so much to those guys. Those are the ones that can be proud of what they did, and they are the ones we should be celebrating, not me nor you.

I've marched twice. Once was in Seattle, which was like a big party. Once was in Asheville, NC where I grew up. I think it was Asheville's first gay pride march and it was definitely a more nervous atmosphere. There were a lot of religious protesters and angry people. One guy said he was going to get a shotgun and blow my f-ing head off. In Asheville marching was more purposeful. Also in a small place like Asheville people know who you are.

I don't like Gay Pride, I never related to the people I see parading in the streets, I am not proud of being gay, I'm just gay, it's not an achievement, I'm only proud of things I achieve.

I'm happy that you've never had to work for it. For the rest of us, especially here in the South, it's our turn to get our beer-laden faces and uber-hot boyfriends in front of the TV cameras to say "Thank you; You've not killed me for what I am, nor have I killed myself!"

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

It used to be important to me. Just being surrounded by so many openly gay and lesbians was very emotional. I can remember the Pet Shop Boys performing on the main stage, fireworks going off and just smiling from ear to ear, with I suppose what you call pride.

Then it became just another chance to party and get wasted.

There hasn't been a proper Pride in London for a few years, it became all too commercial and people trying to make a queer buck.

Brighton on the South Coast still holds an annual free festival and that's just a hoot.

They have to charge money here in Philadelphia just to attend Pride, just to keep this one very vocal and annoying, protesting local evangelical group called Repent America out, the members of which were arrested a few years ago and caused this big local media blowout.

i think that pride has played a huge part in making the general public aware of gay rights and gay issues and made a huge difference to the experience of gay men and women of this generation. i look forward to the day when we have mass 'hiv pride' events and we can make the same difference. for me this sums it all up:

"I'm not keen on the idea of the afterlife - not without knowing who else will be there and what the entertainment will be. Personally I'd rather just take a rest." Oscar Berger, PWA: Looking AIDS in the Face, 1996. RIP.

I went to a Pride Festival a few years back. The Festival was for a town called Ukiah (it was their first) and the event was held in another county.

I loaned my convertible for a parade in Long Beach and the lovely contestant overloaded the rear shocks and they didn't clean the glitter or the feathers out afterward.

I do enjoy the parades and the festivals. I remember Club OZ with a black limo and two guys wearing leather (who redefined the term "butt ugly"). That car was escorted off the parade route at the first cross street.

I always love the WEHO Cheerleaders. Thought I wanted to be one once with the big hair, the little skirts, the pom poms and the implants. I made up a little cheer...I Sizzle, I Roar... Because I am a Whore...I'm Tacky, I'm Mean... Because I am a Queen... Rah, Rah, Eat me Raw... Yea Team!

Most of all, what I really like about the parades is Dykes On Bikes but... I have been asked to leave a Gay Pride Festival. Not for kissing a couple hundred men, not for dancing on the pool table at Club Rage and not for wearing my catch me fuck me pearls on Santa Monica Blvd or being filmed with my pants down on the Silver Fox bus. I had to leave because my BF was laying down on the grass and kissing my hair dresser. The three of us left together. Have the best dayMichael(who has seen the Good, the Bad, and The UGLY)

I think that sort of stuff is a good excuse to hang out with a bunch of other queers, but generally I don't get too caught up in it.

However, I do find a lot of joy in taking part in those things as long as I can be sure that it's going to disturb someone watching. Probably for the same reason that my boyfriend and I aren't really the hand-holding sort, but we make it a point to do so in a safe environment like the mall where no one will kick the shit out of us but we can horrify some middle aged hetero men or little old ladies. Teenagers can be so mean. =(

Not being too far removed from the Stonewall generation, I relate very well to Gay Pride.

As others have said, it isn't about what we've achieved, but rather the chance to be open, proud and up front about who we are.

I was involved in some of the first Gay Pride events in Albuquerque back in the mid to late '70s. Back in those days, we ran the risk of being attacked and, at the very least, verbally accosted for being so open about being gay.

Of course, these also were the days when hotel owners would refuse to rent a room to gays and lesbians, apartment owners refused to lease flats, business owners fired employees and medical personal refused to treat people just because they were gay or lesbian.

Of those who are still alive, I know many people, including myself, who were attacked because they were gay. I related one such incident that occurred involving myself on the old forums. I don't think I can do it again at this time, but perhaps some will remember.

I think that is why I have a bit of a different take on being Gay, and on Gay Pride.

I am still very proud. I attend every year and I make sure I cheer everyone.

Of course, these also were the days when hotel owners would refuse to rent a room to gays and lesbians, apartment owners refused to lease flats, business owners fired employees and medical personal refused to treat people just because they were gay or lesbian.

I'm not sure seeing almost naked hairy queens wearing leopard leather thongs and dancing on It's raining men inside pink 1956 chevrolets is what made the landlords change their minds about gays.

I don\'t see what the point is in putting down people who celebrate their personal freedom. I don\'t think that you or anyone has the right to ridicule how gay people choose to express themselves. I went to Los Angeles gay pride this past week-end with my best friend, a wonderful, kind gay man who works with me. It was awesome. Just remember, it was the drag queens who had the balls to stand up to the police at Stonewall, leopard skin and all. Gay people come in all flavors and colors and span the whole spectrum. I love it when people try to differentiate themselved from the \"other\" as if being more feminine makes gay men less human. That is shameful.

I used to love Pride in Boston, from the late 70s right through the late 90s. My ex and I also used to attend Montreal's Pride (it's in August) like it was a religious festival. We also made it twice to Toronto's Pride, which is the largest such celebration in the world (well over 1,000,000 participants).

But the most spectacular Pride event had to be Europride in 1997, when they closed down the eastern half of Paris for a parade that ran from Republique to Porte Doree via Bastille. It was truly a once-in-a-lifetime event and I'm glad I went.

Pride here in Ft Lauderdale is pretty anti-climatic as this place is gaygaygay year-round, and it tends to get rained out as this is the rainy season. I went once, yawned, got soaked and left.

But for as long as I've been going, there's been a very un-subtle dig at Pride as Milkie's OP states, and as I've heard all too often. First it was a freak-show of leathermen and drag queens. Then it was too commercial. Then it was so exclusionary that Dyke Marches became all the rage. But to me Pride at its best (and worst) is a big Carninale or Mardi Gras, a free-wheeling good time, a chance to get drunk (like I need one) get laid (ditto) and put all the bigoted straights in town on alert that, although free to rant in the privacy of their own home, we're not to be minimized, ever.

It's the visibility of Pride that so many now take for granted. Like Mark (Aztecan), I remember when attending a Gay Pride parade was a highly provocative act of sicial consequence. And in many smaller places it still is.

So rant about not wishing to be associated with freaks (like you're not...really!) or the hideous overcommercialization all you like. But never forget that without the braze drag queens of the Stonewall riots fame, we'd not have the place in society we do today. No amount of hat-in-hand requests for our civil rights can ever bring about the social change caused by a group of drunken drags mourning the death of Judy Garland...ever.

Brent(Who is proud to be gay and proud to be poz)

Logged

Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

I guess Pride used to be more important to me than it is now. When I was first coming to terms with my sexuality it played an important part in helping me remove the stigma and shame that I'd grown up with in Dorset. I had the same "ah-ha" moment at Pride that I had when I walked into my first gay bar and was surrounded by people who were the same as me (at least when it came to sexual orientation) and mirrored the "ah ha" I later felt when I fell in love for the first time, and was accepted and cherished for the person I am, rather than the person I projected I was.

There were also things to march for - section 28, which banned teachers from educating pupils about homosexuality, even in the prevention of bullying, was still in force and the age of consent was not equal. Civil partnerships weren't around.

I don't go anymore. I think it's because yes, London's Pride has gotten more commercial and there's less now to march about. I don't just want to go on a walk with ten thousand gay people anymore. But if there was less equality in this country again, I'd be back out there. For now, I think I do my bit for gay rights by being an out gay man - accepted and confronting prejudice where I find it day to day.

I don\'t see what the point is in putting down people who celebrate their personal freedom. I don\'t think that you or anyone has the right to ridicule how gay people choose to express themselves. I went to Los Angeles gay pride this past week-end with my best friend, a wonderful, kind gay man who works with me. It was awesome. Just remember, it was the drag queens who had the balls to stand up to the police at Stonewall, leopard skin and all. Gay people come in all flavors and colors and span the whole spectrum. I love it when people try to differentiate themselved from the \"other\" as if being more feminine makes gay men less human. That is shameful.

Carolann

Carolann, I'm not trying to ridicule anyone, I just said that I do not relate, and that I did not think showing off in leopard skin was what improved the understanding of the gay life by heterosexual people. I see nothing shameful in expressing an opinion.

Point is: showing off the way you want to is called our freedom. If your not able to understand that gays and lesbians come in all sizes shapes and colors.....as well as ways of dressing and sexual proclivities....then ok. But to say..."oh those freaky people are giving gays a bad name" is to show your prejudice and possibly your hypocracy....For insatnace: its ok for staight people to have their freaky dressy parades.... Mardi Gras and here we have the Mummers Parade where straight men wear dresses and wigs and march up Broad Steet on New Years Day. Oh thats ok ...it doesnt reflect badly on straights. But put a guy in chaps with his ass hanging out and some others in drag and we have something shameful????Please If gay pride is all about looking just like the Cleavers.....Hey Beaver... then I dont think I am so proud of my fellow gayus anymore.

Point taken, bear, but at the end of the day, aren't most of the people watching this in the street on or tv thinking that it was a great day at the zoo? Mardi Gras and other carnivals are not about trying to give a message. Gay Pride was originally a "Gay liberation march", following the Stonewall events. Sure it was more about activism than partying, maybe this is what I miss.

This issue of assimilation versus identity has been going on for a long time. Gays want to be respected be we don't always want to be respectable. Many gays have learned to appreciate being on the fringe of society, of being different and we don't want to lead average lives while some want to have the house, the spouse and the 2.5 kids. I think we all agree that don't like being attacked or disenfranchised. It's a difficult balance.

I do agree with bear that it is hypocritical to be worried about what heteros think proper parade ettiquette is when you have posts in your repertoire where you have numerous dicks in every orafice at a sex club. I mean really. Who should judge you for that? Nobody, if you are not putting anyone at risk and it is your form of expression, pleasure, or whatever you want to call it. Is it that you are gay, maybe not, but some might jump to conclusions. And before you say that it is your right to post your \"honest and frank\" discussions, you should note that all people: heterosexuals, straights, bis...read these threads, and frankly you are noone to talk about proper behavior, what is proper varies in the environment where one is, and a gay pride parade is the proper environment for a diversity of expression. What the overall purpose of gaypride is to show the multitudes, the diversity, and the fact that it exists, and that gays will not continue to give away the rights won by blood spilled, because yes people are still dying for being gay, bi, trans.., and these rights are not a guarantee. So if you don\'t relate, well keep on being nothing more than what most of society thinks is a \"pervert\" who thinks he is above everyone else.

This issue of assimilation versus identity has been going on for a long time. Gays want to be respected be we don't always want to be respectable. Many gays have learned to appreciate being on the fringe of society, of being different and we don't want to lead average lives while some want to have the house, the spouse and the 2.5 kids. I think we all agree that don't like being attacked or disenfranchised. It's a difficult balance.

This is absolutely true. I personally have little in common with assimilationists. I have no desire to become one of the silent majority, marry a spouse, adopt a child, have the suburban house with the white picket fence, a sheepdog and Tupperware.

But I know some who are perfectly happy that way. More power to them, and I would fight to the death to guarantee their right to live their life that way.

I enjoy the uniqueness of each person, not their similarity. I guess that's why I used to enjoy drag shows on occasion. It isn't something I would want to do, but I can enjoy others enjoying themselves.

When I lived in Santa Monica, Calif., there was an annual festival at Venice Beach during which the Krishnas would pull this big thing down the beach called a juggernaut. Anyone who helped pull it down the beach was supposed to get good karma or good luck, or something like that.

I am not a Krishna, and I don't know if it ever brought me any good luck, but I always loved going to that festival, pulling that juggernaut and just enjoying it for what it was.

I guess that makes me a fringe dweller, but that's OK too. Maybe that's why I cheer everyone at Gay Pride, from the drag queens to the dykes on bikes.

I don't have to identify with them, or even understand them, to appreciate their unique qualities and the extra color it adds to the tapestry of life.

This is absolutely true. I personally have little in common with assimilationists. I have no desire to become one of the silent majority, marry a spouse, adopt a child, have the suburban house with the white picket fence, a sheepdog and Tupperware.

But this has nothing to do with being gay or parading about your sexual orientation.

When I came out in the seventies....a gay bar in Pensacola had recently been burned down with all insideboth back and front doors had been locked from the outside and the bar set on fire. Over a hundred andsome odd homosexuals and their friends perished ....The price some had to pay for our little parade in thestreets was quite high....so yes I am proud that we no longer have to be ashamed or hide our numbers.

I have been at gay pride only once in Europe.. And for me it was AWESOME!. I mean, many people, like me, out, not really giving a f*ck about what other might think. Couples, holding hands, kissing each other, or simply walking hugging each other. It was very nice for me.

I am COMPLETELY respectfull and gratefull of those guys in Stonewall. Last time I visited NYC, I went to the bar, and saw the plate at the entrance of it.. And payed a little prayer for those guys. I do not care what they wear, how feminine they were. I just admire their BALLS on standing up and opening a way for many of us.

Sometimes, when you have a highway, you do not value all those that have built it for you.

Alex

PS: When I went to Stonewall it was under remodelation. Is it over yet?

Being in NYC where there is a parade/festival for every imagined religion, ethnicity, whatever - I see Gay Pride for what it is - Just taking our turn in publicly celebrating ourselves.

Some years it is political and powerful and some years it is irrelevant and playful, but taken for what it is I think it's a wonderful thing,

Frankly I think too many get into a game of semantics over the word "pride" and as a result seem to misunderstand the entire purpose of the event which in my mind is just a reminder to ourselves and others that gay people are part of the culture and want to be recognized as such.

Frankly I think too many get into a game of semantics over the word "pride" and as a result seem to misunderstand the entire purpose of the event which in my mind is just a reminder to ourselves and others that gay people are part of the culture and want to be recognized as such.

Thanks Iggy, this is by having open discussions that others (including me) can think about what is bothering them and reflect about it. I think you nailed my biggest problem, which is the word itself, as explained in my first post, the rest being partying, so be it, the fact that I don't relate is actually irrelevant, I just don't go and that's it.