Welcome to GYOW. When you register, you can track threads you find interesting, you can Like/+1 posts you like, you can search without filling in a Captcha. And you might like being part of the MGTOW community. Registering is free.

Confused again! So what’s new?

In some of my earlier posts I mentioned some of my confusion as regards living as a MGHOW in a blue pilled world and you were only too happy to advise me, and I thank you, but now I ask again and this one is a doosie!

Having been free of the blue pill yolk for some time now, there’s something I’ve noticed that I’m finding it difficult to articulate properly and maybe some of you might be able to shed some light.

The things that I want in life just sort of seem to happen without much effort on my part. Money means little to me and never has. Yes I understand the need to pay my way and having enough dosh to cover unforeseen circumstances is important, but the acquisition of wealth in and of itself seems somehow pointless to me. I’m talking about the really important things: peace of mind and the ability to live a fairly carefree life.

I’ll try to explain as best I can.

If you wish to pursue a particular career you need to put in a fair amount of planning. You need to study the field, go on courses, build up your resume etc. – in other words you need to formulate a plan and do your homework.

But there are other things in life that aren’t so tangible. How, for example does one find a life for himself where he can be content and happy? There is no roadmap to this because everybody’s idea of the perfect life is different. What’s heaven for one is hell for another. Not only that, but many of us just don’t get a grip on what it is that’s truly important to us.

But back to the point.

Once I know that there’s something that I want from life that I don’t currently have, and have no idea of how to get there, with patience and the passage of time I suddenly realise I have achieved that goal and am at a loss to explain why or even indeed how.

Let me give this as an example.

I was born into a poor family in a poor and troubled area. All those that had power and influence were the enemy and were to be despised. The world told me I had no hope of ever finding true happiness and I just had to “man up”, deal with shit and take what little enjoyment I could when I could. And I believed it 100%. I played the game that others had set for me and I saw no other way. Life is what it is right? And that life was miserable.

Jump forward to my late 20’s when I’d finally had enough and started to reject everything I had ever been led to believe. I struck out on my own and left it all behind thinking life has got to have more to offer. I set up in a new place where I knew no-one and had absolutely no idea of what I was doing.

But somehow it all worked out.

These days, some 20 years later, I rub shoulders with some of the most influential members of my society – businessmen, millionaires, lawyers, military men, doctors, policemen (Guardai), politicians etc. and I hardly have a bean to my name. But I also socialise with the “lower classes” like myself: the builders, the odd-job men, the refuge collectors, the street cleaners, the taxi drivers, and the unemployed. I don’t play the social climbing game and neither do they. We all have our roles in life and surprisingly we all get on with each other even if we have differences of opinion.

Sometimes it feels a little surreal, but the one thing we all have in common: we’re all blokes and we respect each other’s views even when we disagree. (Well, for the most part anyway)

I’m still poor, probably because money isn’t that important to me, but I now live in a nice area amongst fine (if blue pill) people. I don’t have a lot but I have enough, and for the most part my life is good. And I haven’t the foggiest notion of how I did it.

If I was religious I’d probably think that I have a guardian angel watching over me, but being an atheist I look for other answers.

It would seem that just knowing what you want will eventually make it happen. Maybe something happens to your thought processes. You notice something and without true understanding you instinctively know that this will help you in your quest and so you pursue it.

But knowing what it is you truly want makes all the difference. Maybe I succeeded where others fail is because they were pursuing materialistic things where I was looking for something more. Or maybe it was just luck, but some would hold that you make your own luck. As I say I’m still more than a little bit confused.

This isn’t about using others to pursue your dreams, at least not in a bad way, but more about seeing opportunity, however subconsciously, and taking advantage of it. And once enough of these opportunities come together, hey presto you have what you wanted without any formal planning or stepping on others to get there.

This isn’t so much about material things like a new car or a great computer system, but surprisingly it works for those too. No, it’s more about finding a way of living that works for you. As I say, it’s about the more intangible things.

Like anyone else here I can list many things that I’m now free to do and many obstructions that are no longer in my way and maybe this is part of it, but the parts don’t seem to add up to the whole.

Maybe by stepping on others I could have gotten to where I wanted to be a little sooner, but it would have been a house of cards that could fall apart at any minute.

Without integrity there is no respect, and without respect life is a meaningless aggregation of possessions. To what end? “Hey look at what I have and what I can do?” Is that the person you want to be? Go for it and see where it gets you. If it makes you happy then I’m happy for you.

All I really know is that for the most part I’ve managed to find peace and contentment, and I am free to be happy and enjoy life.

And those things that I want, even the material things, just seem to become available and I really don’t truly understand the why or the how of it.

And it all started once I dumped all the blue pill indoctrination that clouded so many of my decisions in my early life.

Last edited by Jackoff; May 11, 2020 at 11:16 AM.
Reason: My journey began about 20 years ago, not 30 as initially stated.

Re: Confused again! So what’s new?

The biological imperative of seeking female validation and through gynocentric extension the entirety of society is in itself a trap that constructs chambers up on chambers that can't be escaped.
A decision to stay bachelor mandates overcoming biology and cultural conditioning. Once a man realizes that he is not only happier but all the fears blue pilled men had forced up on him were baseless.
My biggest struggles in life are to keep the sanctity of my bitch-free life from the evil eyes of married men.

Re: Confused again! So what’s new?

The biological imperative of seeking female validation and through gynocentric extension the entirety of society is in itself a trap that constructs chambers up on chambers that can't be escaped.

?

I would think that each of us here have escaped that particular trap. But for the blue pilled man you have a point.

Originally Posted by BilBoRing

A decision to stay bachelor mandates overcoming biology and cultural conditioning. Once a man realizes that he is not only happier but all the fears blue pilled men had forced up on him were baseless.

This is so true. The blue pill world wants you to be in a state of confusion. In this way the wymminz, that are in a perpetual state of confusion, have at least some hope of bending you to their will. Take away that confusion and all their influence dissipates into the ether.

Originally Posted by BilBoRing

My biggest struggles in life are to keep the sanctity of my bitch-free life from the evil eyes of married men.

Most married men are living a life of torment whether they admit it to themselves or not. And if it's good enough for them it should be good enough for you. "Man up and make all the mistakes I've made."

Re: Confused again! So what’s new?

Originally Posted by Jackoff

?

I would think that each of us here have escaped that particular trap.

It's a tricky and often sticky situation. I am early 30s, so I can see the slow progression toward indifference when it comes to seeking/wanting a female for sex or companionship. It is in stark contrast to my 27-year old when I stumbled up on MGTOW after a BPD-narc personality fucked me over.

A man can learn to curb his biological drive to seek a woman for sex; however, the remnants of conditioning (on my humble opinion) are slower to dissipate since virtually all of our realities are ingrained on blue pill principles. It is easier to control with experience, once we are able to study a situation with objective red pill awareness. The simps and blue pillers make it quite a breeze since their sufferings are a textbook example of what we avoid.

Re: Confused again! So what’s new?

A man can learn to curb his biological drive to seek a woman for sex; however, the remnants of conditioning (on my humble opinion) are slower to dissipate since virtually all of our realities are ingrained on blue pill principles.

Indeed, this is why I advocate that MGTOW need to be patient with themselves. MGTOW; although very liberating is also a huge task. You are literally fighting thousands and thousands of years of cultural and biological imperatives.

A mother cannot raise a boy to be a man, not because he needs a father figure; but because she favours team vagina over her own son.

Tradcon women are the most manipulative of all kinds of women, because they infect you with false hope.
Radfems are your best friend, because they hate you and verbalise it - that's honesty!

The red pill rage is a process which takes many many years - so be kind and patient with yourself; you will overcome it!

Re: Confused again! So what’s new?

Originally Posted by Jackoff

Once I know that there’s something that I want from life that I don’t currently have, and have no idea of how to get there, with patience and the passage of time I suddenly realise I have achieved that goal and am at a loss to explain why or even indeed how.

Happiness is a product of two things, our situation and the mental filter through which we observe it. Perhaps a big part of your happiness is that you have improved your filter? You no longer chase impossible goals like "marrying a good woman" or "becoming a responsible man"; examples continue ad nauseum.

Now that you have discarded such baggage, perhaps its easier to enjoy what you have?

Originally Posted by Jackoff

These days, some 30 years later, I rub shoulders with some of the most influential members of my society – businessmen, millionaires, lawyers, military men, doctors, policemen (Guardai), politicians etc. and I hardly have a bean to my name. But I also socialise with the “lower classes” like myself: the builders, the odd-job men, the refuge collectors, the street cleaners, the taxi drivers, and the unemployed. I don’t play the social climbing game and neither do they. We all have our roles in life and surprisingly we all get on with each other even if we have differences of opinion.

I've got a similarly eclectic mix of people I hang around with. I was born into a poor family and have serious money troubles today but I've got a "middle-class" job. Its sometimes a bit jarring moving from one to the other; speaking to the upper-middle class colleagues at work talking about their ski-ing holidays and summer vacation home in Spain, then going to the local pub with a friend for a burger and whatever beer is cheapest on tap. If you find yourself in this position, as you describe above, I'd put it to you that you have a fairly unique position in life. You've not followed a set path and don't have a "class" as such anymore. You fit both nowhere and everywhere. This may in part be why you are satisfied with your position, you've carved your own path in life with no arbitrary path to measure yourself against.

Originally Posted by Jackoff

But knowing what it is you truly want makes all the difference.

I could not agree more. To all men I say, decide a purpose for your life, or someone else will decide one for you.

Re: Confused again! So what’s new?

Originally Posted by Opaque

Indeed, this is why I advocate that MGTOW need to be patient with themselves. MGTOW; although very liberating is also a huge task. You are literally fighting thousands and thousands of years of cultural and biological imperatives.

Patience with oneself cannot be overstated. Often though you are fighting not only those imperatives within yourself but also within your family and friends, who will, with the best of intentions, try to make you see the “error of your ways”. This influence from others was very difficult for me.

My solution: get out. I simply said my farewells and hopped on a train. Not a solution for most and indeed it scared the hell out of me.

I suppose the people I left back home joked amongst themselves that I had “gone to find myself” and I suppose that is what I had done. But it was less about finding myself, it was more about finding somewhere that allowed me to be myself.

I travelled to a few towns and cities, spending a couple of weeks in each and I suppose I could have easily settled in any of them, but within an hour or so of getting off the train in the place I finally settled I knew I had found my new home. There was just a different feel to the place that called to me.

If I met new people that tried to bring me back to the ranch, their opinions meant little to me and I owed them no long explanations, they were strangers. The new friends that I eventually made had to accept that I wasn’t interested in relationships.

Simple? Maybe, but it was quite a long, difficult, and often lonely process.

Re: Confused again! So what’s new?

you've carved your own path in life with no arbitrary path to measure yourself against.

I think this has a lot to do with peace and happiness in general for men. Detaching oneself from the expectations of society and living solely by ones own standards, coupled with the fact that whenever you are interested in obtaining something in your life you can do so through time and patience.

Often though you are fighting not only those imperatives within yourself but also within your family and friends, who will, with the best of intentions, try to make you see the “error of your ways”.

This is something i still struggle with from time to time. Being in my mid 20's many people find it very strange that I have no desire for romantic relationships, or any desire for what people my age are usually interested in. In their eyes I'm not being what a man in their 20s ''should be''. Regardless of all the backlash I received, I always knew that taking ownership of the ''should be'' was the right way, or at least the way for me.

Re: Confused again! So what’s new?

I suppose the people I left back home joked amongst themselves that I had “gone to find myself” and I suppose that is what I had done. But it was less about finding myself, it was more about finding somewhere that allowed me to be myself.

What often tends to happen is that men are NEVER allowed to ''find themselves''. One way this is done is through financial restrictions. The average InstaHo (the majority of millennial females) shows her ass on Instagram and gets paid, by simps, to travel to exotic locations. She journals, works out, goes on self help courses etc etc.

Her own brother wouldn't be able to do that same.

Another reason is social; family, fiends and relatives tell you "you are wasting your time" etc.

The most pernicious reasons is the last, which I have reiterated many times but it seems to fly over people's heads (proof that the gynocracy is deeply ingrained in the psyche of the average man).

It is as follows:

A man, since the day he is born is taught to be a "doing" being. A man only know one thing and one thing only, how to "do" how to be a "doing" being not interested in sensuality, relaxation, leisure, pleasure etc.

Therefore, once he is cemented in this identity, he begins to develop it, mostly to his detriment. Of course, it is very beneficial to understand DIY. But what do most men do with these skills? They offer them up to women, or society (the gynocracy) which milks them with taxes and false promises.

Therefore, the "confusion" you are experiencing Jackoff is actually (in the way I have interpret it) a new way of "being". You are, by virtue of living the MGTOW way, and "unmoulding" your identity from the one which was rammed into your throat (and my throat) by the gynocracy.

I feel guilty for even buying a nice shirt for myself. Now, I can afford expensive wines, whiskeys and cigars because I am well employed; and yet, sometimes the guilt suddenly starts creeping in.

Maybe I should have a family? Maybe I need a GF? Maybe I need to start dating again? Maybe Maybe Maybe....

It is all psychological, a force trying to pull you back into depression and a return to the plantation.

A mother cannot raise a boy to be a man, not because he needs a father figure; but because she favours team vagina over her own son.

Tradcon women are the most manipulative of all kinds of women, because they infect you with false hope.
Radfems are your best friend, because they hate you and verbalise it - that's honesty!

The red pill rage is a process which takes many many years - so be kind and patient with yourself; you will overcome it!

Re: Confused again! So what’s new?

Originally Posted by Opaque

What often tends to happen is that men are NEVER allowed to ''find themselves''. One way this is done is through financial restrictions. The average InstaHo (the majority of millennial females) shows her ass on Instagram and gets paid, by simps, to travel to exotic locations. She journals, works out, goes on self help courses etc etc.

Her own brother wouldn't be able to do that same.

Another reason is social; family, fiends and relatives tell you "you are wasting your time" etc.

The most pernicious reasons is the last, which I have reiterated many times but it seems to fly over people's heads (proof that the gynocracy is deeply ingrained in the psyche of the average man).

It is as follows:

A man, since the day he is born is taught to be a "doing" being. A man only know one thing and one thing only, how to "do" how to be a "doing" being not interested in sensuality, relaxation, leisure, pleasure etc.

Therefore, once he is cemented in this identity, he begins to develop it, mostly to his detriment. Of course, it is very beneficial to understand DIY. But what do most men do with these skills? They offer them up to women, or society (the gynocracy) which milks them with taxes and false promises.

Therefore, the "confusion" you are experiencing Jackoff is actually (in the way I have interpret it) a new way of "being". You are, by virtue of living the MGTOW way, and "unmoulding" your identity from the one which was rammed into your throat (and my throat) by the gynocracy.

I feel guilty for even buying a nice shirt for myself. Now, I can afford expensive wines, whiskeys and cigars because I am well employed; and yet, sometimes the guilt suddenly starts creeping in.

Maybe I should have a family? Maybe I need a GF? Maybe I need to start dating again? Maybe Maybe Maybe....

It is all psychological, a force trying to pull you back into depression and a return to the plantation.

Maybe, as you say, there is some left over programming I haven’t quite dealt with, and maybe I never will. The notion of “wasting time” does indeed enter my head occasionally. If life isn’t difficult then there’s more that you could be doing. Seeking challenge seems to be ingrained in man, whether that’s from the gynocracy or something more basic I’m unsure, but it’s there nonetheless. Personally I believe it’s more basic and women simply understand this and take advantage of it.

But the confusion I speak of isn’t pulling me back, far from it. It’s more of a happy realisation that life’s just become so much easier without all that noise filling my head constantly.

My early life was difficult mostly because of the influence of the gynocracy, but also because of the political situation I grew up in. The first part of my red pill life was difficult because I was setting up a new way of life without any sort of a roadmap.

But the last 10-15 years have been a breeze in comparison. Yes life still throws curve-balls now and then, that’s just how things are, but because of how I live and my network of friends they just don’t seem to be the insurmountable problems of the past.

Maybe it’s a little paranoia. When life has been good in the past it never lasted long. Maybe I’m just waiting for the next big one to hit that throws my life back into chaos as it has done so many times in the past.

There’s an old phrase: Life’s hard and then you die!

Well, there’s no escaping the dying bit but once you set yourself on the right path life just seems to get easier and easier. Without that outside influence to fuck things up, once something is fixed it stays fixed.

Nothing seems to faze me anymore, at least not for long. I’m confused, yes, but only because it’s come as something of a revelation. I don’t think I truly believed I would ever get to this point and honestly it wasn’t even a conscious goal. It just sort of happened.