The 7 secrets of successful women

Lisa Tse, 32, (right) runs three businesses including a design consultancy, and founded the Sorority, a private social network for businesswomen. She lives in London with her husband and one-year-old son.

When I was growing up, my parents steered me away from friends who behaved undesirably. They’d say that if you surround yourself with people of good reputation, you will be viewed positively. I believe that if you associate with accomplished professionals, you’ll pick up on what makes them successful. I set up my design consultancy when I was 26. One of my first clients, James Robson, who founded the bar and venue Mews of Mayfair in London, became a mentor.

I was brought up in an obedient way in the Chinese culture and was taught never to challenge or push, but James showed me that doing so doesn’t make you a bad person – as long as you know where the line is. A lot of women are afraid to go to the next level – to move to a bigger office, hire more staff, take on big projects that they’re not sure how to fulfil – whereas men say yes and worry later. James taught me to do that.

‘Surround yourself with good people’

I’ve also learnt that even having one person on staff who isn’t sociable can poison the rest of the team. It’s not enough to hire people solely based on talent. We’ve had great designers who just follow their own brief and get protective over their work, so they’re unable to work in a team. A lot of people aren’t brave enough to get rid of someone if their attitude isn’t right.

The lesson I learned from my parents is a simple one: you are the company you keep. As a result of surrounding myself with good people I have learnt from their successes and enriched my experience and knowledge. That’s what inspired me to launch the Sorority, a club that unites trusted, successful women, cultivating a supportive community.

It’s really enriching to meet women of different ages and from a variety of sectors. And when I became a mother, I had a hundred aunties giving me advice on juggling business and motherhood!
thesorority.org

Louise Mensch, 40, (above) is the Conservative MP for Corby and East Northamptonshire and the author of 15 novels under her maiden name, Louise Bagshawe. She is married with three children, and lives in Northamptonshire, travelling regularly to New York where her husband is based.

Many jobs require a public face, but if you are yourself and show your human side people will respond to that, and that includes owning up to mistakes.

One of the things that gets politicians into trouble is presenting a false persona. But when you think of the moments that have humanised politicians, people have been sympathetic. When John Prescott punched the guy who threw an egg at him, he got a huge amount of support from the public. When Baroness Trumpington stuck two fingers up at Tom King in the House of Lords, she won nothing but praise.

I’d been passionate about politics for years, but because I’d written all these racy novels, and with my past in the record industry, I didn’t think I was suitable Tory MP material. But for years I’d been having debates with friends, so finally I decided it was time to get up and do something about it.

‘Show your human side’

At first I contented myself with campaigning for other candidates, stuffing leaflets through doors and so on, but when David Cameron was made leader of the party, there was a lot of modernisation — you could have a more rebellious background — so I put myself forward.

My first rule of politics is that if somebody accuses you of something and it’s true, don’t deny it — it’s always the denial that catches you out. When I got an email alleging that I’d taken drugs while working for a record company, frankly I’d forgotten all about it. My husband said, ‘Don’t sweat this. We’re going to defuse it with honesty and good humour.’ That’s what we did, and it worked. It was a serious issue, and I admitted to the wrongdoing, but it was 20 years ago. I trusted the public’s good sense. I don’t think people judge you on the sins of your youth; what they care about is whether you’re fiddling your expenses or attempting to use your position for personal gain.

Nelle Davy, 27, (right) has written two novels while working full-time for a literary agency. Her first book, The Legacy of Eden, is published by Harlequin.
When people say you can have it all, you can’t. You have to choose, and I’ve made a lot of sacrifices to get where I am. I always wanted to be a writer, and reading was my escape from a very difficult childhood.

My parents were not supportive of me at all, and my father always told me that I’d never amount to anything. They saw writing as a stupid hobby.
I met my husband at university, and when I moved to Ireland to do a master’s in creative writing it was difficult to keep our relationship going – we nearly broke up.

‘Put your dream first’

Later, writing my novel at the same time as holding down a very demanding job took a huge toll on our marriage. I wrote it in lunch breaks, after work and at weekends. I didn’t have time for myself, let alone anyone else. That’s what you expect when you become a mother – not when you’re 27 and just married. I had to explain as diplomatically as possible to everyone that, unfortunately, they didn’t come first at this point in time.

All my friends were going out and doing fun things and I had to stay at home. My husband was a tower of strength, though. He took it with good grace because he knew how important it was to me. Friends were all very understanding, but it did put my friendships under strain.

I led a secret double life and submitted my manuscript under my married name. I didn’t want people to think I’d been published because of who I know. When I got my deal I told my boss and she screamed. Everyone was so pleased for me. I now make more of an effort to be there for friends and to do things with my husband as a couple.

Heather Jackson, 43, (right) a strategic marketing consultant, launched An Inspirational Journey, a training and mentoring organisation helping women climb the corporate ladder to board level. She has two children and two stepchildren and lives in Yorkshire and London.

I’m an old-fashioned person when it comes to manners. I always make sure to reply to emails as quickly as possible, even if it’s just to say that I’m on the case – that’s something I’ve learnt from working with clients in strategic marketing.

Whenever I send a letter, I always write the envelope by hand. It makes it more personal, and you always open the handwritten one first when you have a pile of mail. At networking events and corporate parties, I’ll give someone a card and ask very politely if they mind me getting in touch the next day. And after every event, I block out at least an hour the next morning so that I have time to write to anyone I met or follow up on anything I’d planned to do.

‘Politeness opens many doors’

I’m always sure to send thank-you cards and emails, first to the person who invited me, and then I also mention her in a card to the most senior person who was there. When I was invited to a Santander event by one of their senior women, as well as sending her a card, I wrote to the chief operating officer of the company to say what a great host the woman had been and that she’d connected me to some fabulous people. It’s about giving back, because you wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for them. I believe that what goes around comes around, but when you’re starting out, you’ve got to be committed to giving.

About three years ago I met a regional manager from Barclays at a do. We had nothing to gain from each other, but we went for coffee and stayed in touch. He later got a big promotion, and then introduced me to the head of global human resources, who went on to sponsor my first Women’s Business Forum. You don’t know where that ball is going to roll.

Through politeness, I’ve built up a company based on recommendations. We’ve done no advertising or marketing, but within six months of launching, 22 global companies connected with us. Last November, I was invited to Downing Street for a celebration of women who are making a difference to the economy. It was a defining moment for me.
aninspirationaljourney.com

Louisa Barnett, 38, (right) former corporate PR and change management consultant, owns Butterfly, a chain of beauty boutiques aimed at busy City workers. She is married and lives in London.

When I started Butterfly in 2009, I had to do everything myself: balance the books, be an interior designer, source products, negotiate terms with suppliers and interview all my amazing team. I painted wardrobes, cut MDF and made window displays. I also did two of Mary Portas’s retail courses at the Skills Centre Bucks, which were so useful. It’s important to recognise your limitations and see where you need support, because it’s much more effective to tell yourself, ‘It’s not working – deal with it and move on.’

I’ve always been described as ‘can do’, and that’s been my attitude to setting up my business. It’s a lot about trusting your gut instincts. When you start a business, there are a million more doom-mongers than people being positive for you. Sometimes you have to not overthink things and just make it happen.

‘Be “can do” ’

I did focus groups and research, which showed there was a gap in the market, even though lots of friends told me it would never work. I wrote a business plan and got an offer of a loan from a bank, but the terms were outrageous so I decided to use my savings. It was very scary stuff and I definitely made mistakes – mainly when I didn’t trust my instincts. I was let down by suppliers that I shouldn’t have used.

It took me a while to settle into the business, but this year we have seen a 50 per cent growth in turnover and customer numbers. Last summer I opened a second store, and I want to open six more in the next few years. But I still muck in. I washed the windows yesterday and was up a ladder changing light bulbs last week, and I often do a stint on reception.

From the outset, I created mission values and a manual on our way of working, because I think consistency is so important, especially as we roll out more stores. I hope my outlook filters through the whole company.
butterfly-london.com

Stephanie Phair, 33, (above) is the director of discount fashion website the Outnet, sister company to Net-a-porter. She is married with a young baby and lives in London.

I like to keep my personal and social life quite separate from my work life. In my first job, it was coincidental – I was given a work email address and I already had a Hotmail address, so it wasn’t strategic, but then I realised the benefit of it and it became a conscious decision. It means that when I’m working, I don’t get distracted by emails popping up about a friend having a baby or a party on Saturday night.

I think it’s about being able to compartmentalise. You can be very friendly at work, but you don’t necessarily need to make friends with everyone, and that has tended to work for me. Having worked in New York for ten years, I’ve found that people in the UK make friends with colleagues a lot more than they do in the US. I tell my friends about what I do if they ask, but it doesn’t form the core of our conversation. And if colleagues ask about my baby, I’m not a closed book, but they don’t need to know all the details and I wouldn’t expect them to be interested.

‘Keep work and personal life separate’

My approach definitely makes [being a boss] a lot easier, because you’re seeing people for their work, judging them on their performance. You’re able to be a lot more objective. And I rarely bring work home, so I can really focus on my personal life. When I first started working on the Outnet, we were a real startup, and it was tough. It could have been all-consuming, but because I wasn’t taking my work home and it didn’t overtake my life, I was able to maintain my relationship. In that time,
we got engaged and married, and had a baby.
theoutnet.com

Jane Winkworth, 65, (right) is the founder of ballet-pump shoe company French Sole. She is married with three children, with her fifth grandchild due next month, and has homes in Surrey, London and Portugal.

Talking to strangers has helped me in life and in
my career every step of the way. I was 19 and working at Biba when it first worked for me. It was 1968, and I went up to a man named Michael Gamba at a party; his father’s company, Gamba Shoes, made slippers for ballerinas. I’d been mad about ballet all my life and I wanted a pair of ballet-style shoes with a strap, so I sketched them for him and he made me six pairs. I sold five and kept one. That was my first foray into shoe design.

Years later it worked for me again. I was walking my dog past fashion designer Catherine Walker’s shop in Chelsea, London. I saw her inside and went in to apologise for my dog peeing outside, but I ended up telling her about my shoes and she told Princess Diana, who became a loyal customer. Now the Duchess of Cambridge wears them.

‘Talk to everyone you meet’

There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t chat to a stranger about something. My husband refuses to sit next to me on aeroplanes because he says I’m so embarrassing. I don’t care who they are or where they come from, I’ll talk to anyone.

I once asked a well-endowed actress how she crammed her boobs into such tight dresses! But often I’ll start a conversation by telling someone that I love their shoes. Then I tell them about French Sole and we’ll get chatting. Often we end up swapping numbers. I’ve made a lot of contacts that way. I work with the Starlight Children’s Foundation and they’ve said that since I came on board things have changed for them, because I talk to everyone. I’ll say, ‘Can you do this to help?’ and people do it.
janewinkworth.com; frenchsole.com