Do Celebrities Mislead Women About How Easy It Is to Get Pregnant in Your 40s?

Halle Berry had a baby at 47, Laura Linney welcomed her little one at 49, Kelly Preston was 48 when she gave birth, and Geena Davis had twins at 48. Then earlier this year Janet Jackson topped the list after giving birth at age 50. (Fun fact: Singer Sophie B. Hawkins — of "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" fame — predated Janet when she too gave birth at 50, back in 2015.) And this is just a handful of the celebrity mamas who are giving birth well past 40 years old.

It's not just celebrities following this trend. The average age of childbirth all over the U.S. is increasing. As of 2016, the group with the highest birth rate is women aged 30 to 34, according to data from the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Twenty percent of all babies are the result of "geriatric pregnancies." (That is the actual medical term for a pregnancy in a woman over 35 — although thankfully that's being phased out in favor of "advanced maternal age" which is a little better...we guess.) Just over one-third of women 25 to 33 said they definitely plan on having a child in the next few years, according to a new survey done by Celmatix. And why not wait? Women are living longer and healthier lives than ever before so why not extend the childbearing years? Perhaps this is one celebrity trend we can all get on board with.

Not quite, says Sherry Ross, MD, OB-GYN and women's health expert at Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California, and author of she-ology. There's one important fact you need to know about these famous babies if you're considering delaying having kids: "Those 46-year-olds giving birth to twins? Those are most likely not their own eggs," she says. "What you see on TV, on social media, especially for women over 44, is very misleading."

What Does the Research Say? It's Complicated

On the surface, the numbers are stark: A perfectly healthy woman in her early twenties has a 90 percent chance of conceiving in under a year if she has sex every month and less than a ten percent chance of miscarriage. By age 40, her chance of getting pregnant without any fertility treatment drops to 40 percent but 90 percent of her eggs are chromosomally abnormal, making a miscarriage more likely. And women are feeling the pressure. In the Celmatix study, women cited aging as their second biggest concern for their fertility, ironically right after stress — the stress of worrying they won't be able to get pregnant.

Yet there is some disagreement about the actual numbers. Many of these oft-cited stats are taken from studies done on data that is over a century old, according to a 2013 report in The Atlantic that says scary infertility numbers are overblown. Newer research shows that most women in their late 30s have almost the same ability to conceive naturally as women in their late 20s and early 30s — a study published in Obstetrics and Gynecology found that the rate of infertility was 13 to 14 percent in women aged 30 to 34 but only rose to 18 percent in women aged 35 to 39, which mean over 80 percent of women in their late 30s will still be able to conceive. However, this news applies just to women between 35 and 39 as the fertility cut-off between 40 and 43 seems to remain consistent for most women, according to previous research. By age 44, your chances of having a baby with your own eggs are down to one percent, according to a separate study published in Fertility.

The Atlantic piece mentioned above points out, however, that studies about natural conception are hard to conduct. Birth records can be unhelpful, Jean Twenge writes, because many women have children in their early 20s and then use birth control to prevent pregnancy in their 30s or 40s. The human memory is fickle, meaning that asking couples how long it takes them to conceive naturally yields unreliable results. Twenge points out another factor: Women who are actively trying to get pregnant after age 35 might be less fertile than the average over-35-year-old. "Some highly fertile women will get pregnant accidentally when they are younger, and others will get pregnant quickly whenever they try, completing their families at a younger age," she writes. "Those who are left are, disproportionately, the less fertile."

Should Celebrities Admit When They Use IVF?

So what does this mean about all the celebrities becoming pregnant well after the early 40s cut-off? They’re likely using fertility treatments, specifically egg donation and in vitro fertilization (IVF), whether or not they admit it, Dr. Ross says. The problem isn't that the women are taking advantage of these procedures but that they let people assume their babies were simply the result of good genes and good luck when the reality is likely much different. This isn't to say that celebrities should necessarily be obligated to share every aspect of their life with their fans. Fertility can be a sensitive, intensely personal subject, and not everyone is comfortable talking about it publicly. However, experts worry that by keeping mum about it, celebrities inadvertently give women false expectations that conceiving naturally in their 40s will be easy — when for many, it won't be.

A new study from New York University echoes that sentiment. After analyzing four years’ worth of magazines targeted toward women, researchers found that only two out of 240 celebrities mentioned the use of any kind of assisted reproductive technology (ART), despite the fact that more than half of the celebrities featured were over 35. The study authors concluded that such interviews only fuel "unrealistic" expectations of fertility.

"Seeing celebrities give birth after age 44 can be incredibly misleading and create unrealistic expectations for fans since it does not explain the low odds of having your own biological child or how expensive and time consuming it can be to use fertility magic to have a child after age 40," Dr. Ross explains. "Donor eggs are the [secret] weapon of celebrity women, especially if you see them having twins."

"I was one of those many women who looked at celebrities and friends having babies seemingly without any difficulties in their late 30s and 40s and thought I would be like them," says Tanya Selvaratnam, who has had three miscarriages while trying to get pregnant later in life, a story she details in her book The Big Lie: Motherhood, Feminism, and the Reality of the Biological Clock. We hear all the miraculous success stories but those who struggle often hide their experiences, she adds.

Getting Pregnant After 40: What You Need to Know

It's not all doom and gloom, says Paul Magarelli, M.D., an OB-GYN and reproductive endocrinologist, and founder of HQA Fertility Centers. While IVF is still very expensive — it averages $12,000 to $15,000 per IVF cycle, often with multiple cycles required, according to data collected by IVF Worldwide — the price is dropping while the methods are getting better and better. For non-rich-and-famous women seeking fertility help, their options are expanding every day. The trick, he adds, is that they need to know what those options are and plan for them.

Depending on your situation, it may be best to look into freezing eggs or embryos. If you do need IVF, there are lots of different options there too, as IVF isn't one "thing" — it's an umbrella term that covers a variety of different procedures, he explains. A fertility specialist can explain all your options to you and discuss which ones you may need.

This knowledge — about your own fertility, about your family history, about what modern medicine can and can't do — is ultimately empowering, Dr. Ross says. Instead of being afraid of your "ticking biological clock," you can work with it. "It’s become taboo for a woman to say that she wants to have a family before her career. We’re encouraged to have this 'if it is meant to be it will just happen' attitude when the reality is that it can be a lot of work, sacrifice, and money to have a baby," she says. "We teach women plenty about how to prevent a pregnancy but then we teach them almost nothing about how to plan for a pregnancy."

So How Do You Plan Your Fertility?

One thing you can do right away is to get your eggs tested. Fertility isn’t an on/off switch where one day you could pop out a baby at any time and the next you’re in menopause. The truth is that fertility has everything to do with the age, health and number of your eggs — all things that decline steadily with age but are also individual to each woman, explains Jane L. Frederick, MD, reproductive endocrinologist and medical director at HRC Fertility. "Many women think they will be fertile all the way until menopause but this is wrong. As we age, our fertility decreases. Even a woman with a regular menstrual cycle can experience infertility due to the age of her eggs.”

Many women opt to have their ovarian reserve tested. (There are numerous at-home tests available.) One caveat: A recent study found that this kind of test might not be a great predictor of how easy or hard it will be to get pregnant, but it can provide a general snapshot of how many eggs you have left and what shape they’re in. Some women find it to be a helpful jumping-off point when it comes to deciding whether to freeze their eggs or see a fertility specialist.

In addition, there are many things you personally have control over when it comes to your fertility. Start by eating a healthy diet and exercising — not only will these increase your chances of getting pregnant but they’ll help you have a healthier, easier pregnancy once you do. Quit smoking. Consider eliminating or reducing your coffee intake as caffeine might reduce your chances of getting pregnant, according to one European study.

Another thing you can do: Get screened regularly for STDs. Some, including chlamydia, don’t show symptoms but can impact your fertility if left untreated. You may also want to cut back on alcohol or quit drinking altogether while you’re trying to get pregnant, as women who drink more than one serving a day have a harder time conceiving, according to a separate study.

Draw up a frank analysis of your lifestyle, relationship and career — and then make a plan based on your reality, not some celebrity fantasy. Lastly, take a deep breath and try not to stress too much about it (because, sigh, stress is also a risk factor for infertility). The reality is, getting pregnant in your 40s might be harder than in your 20s. But many women in their 40s have healthy pregnancies and healthy, happy babies. With a little planning, chances are good that you can add to your family as well.