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New [d/dn] album delayed: “yet again”

It’s a story we’ve all heard before: superstar unveils new album, claims it will be available in a matter of seconds, then spends years retracting said claim, amidst howls of disdain from international commentators, the United Nations, the ACCC and various other hacks. Well, it’s happening all over again. Problems with the uploaded Davey Dreamnation masterpiece Recognition of Prior Learning have meant that the afore-mentioned rock god has been forced to embarrass – nay, humiliate himself on the world stage, for possibly the tenth time. “Yeah, they’re a bunch of amateurs,” confirmed Stung, in reference to the boffins at mp3.com.au, “which means we’re in safe hands. Davey feels really comfortable with their level of commitment to his album, because he’s never experienced anything but amateurism in the past – so what’s new?” This puzzling outburst, which follows a string of similar nonsensical statements from the obviously deranged Sting impersonator, demonstrate the extent to which the down vibe has infected the technicians, llama wranglers and mince pie manufacturers currently holed up inside the Tribesco compound. “I’ve got nothing further to say,” Scaramouche managed to communicate in Auslan, while his mouth was full of Neenish tarts and other assorted pieces of junk food, “but I think everyone recognises this international symbol.” The llama’s raised cloven hoof, however, could mean several things, none of which it would be advisable to speculate upon, ever.

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