One of the reasons I'm homeschooling my son (just turned 4) is so that he's not expected to sit still for long lengths of time. I know he'll need to do this eventually but at 4 (and probably 5, 6, and 7 at least) years old I want him to be actively learning, hands-on, exploring and having fun. I think more information is retained through engaging them using as many senses as possible (listening, seeing, touching, questioning) rather than just listening and writing.

We are doing some worksheets because (surprise to me) my son actually likes them. But we do much more hands-on active stuff - reading books sitting on the couch, crafts/building models, discussing topics with lots of questioning and interaction.

Our "rules" are mostly basic house rules - no hitting your sister (or anyone else), play nicely together, no throwing things in the house, no yelling inside, put things away when you're done, follow directions and no television unless we are watching something educational related to what we are working on.

An important one I have found is "Look at me when I am talking". This prevents them from looking at the pictures on their notebooks or looking out the window or fiddling with their pencil under the table while I am teaching. It helps them to focus and listen, thus helping them learn better.

I also make them repeat what I say often to ensure that they are listening. If they can't repeat it, I make them put a mark by their names on the board for not paying attn. Somehow, they dread that and focus a little better.

And don't be afraid to say "Focus" often. The only way to learn to focus is for someone to tell you that often enough until it becomes second nature, just like anything else. My littlest one is ADHD and he is getting better and better the more I say it. I can see a real improvement!

I'm new to homeschooling as well. Part of the reason i am homeschooling is place my child in an environment that I, as a parent feel they can best succeed in. Noone knows my child better than me, I created rules based on what I know is best for my child. Maybe that can be a good starting ground for you?

Holding the pencil/crayon, etc properly when tracing and coloring is a rule at school for us.

Now, see, I taught my dc to hold their writing utensils properly (yes, Chris, I believe there is a "properly"), but it wasn't a "school rule." It was something that I began teaching them from the time they began picking up pencils and crayons, the same way I also taught them how to hold forks and spoons properly ("proper" being different things for holding a pen and holding a fork ). It's just what a mother does. :-)

I do have one question Kgianforti, what do you consider
holding the pen properly though. This is actually
something my son and I were just discussing the other day.
It is uncomfortable for me to hold a pen the "correct" way.
I try to fanangle my fingers, but they always want to hold
the pen how it is comfortable for me. My daughter (who is
only 2 and 1/2) has been able to hold a pen "properly" for
a while, no lesson involved. At least I consider it
proper. She is not holding it in her whole fist.

Actually - that is a GREAT question. I had a Dr. visit last week and noticed he held his pen in his right hand the same way I have seen left-handers hold their pen.

Which makes me think that there is no "right way". At least, not a "right way that is true for everyone". I would fear that an attempt to get someone to hold a pen other than what comes naturally would impead their ability to transfer their thoughts to the paper.

Holding the pencil/crayon, etc properly when tracing and coloring is a rule at school for us.

How to hold them properly is the question. Is it for us to decide?

Yes it is, especially when I know she knows how to hold it properly verses trying to use her fist every now and then. That's what I meant. I'm not going to let her fist hold when she knows how to hold it properly.

I'll go back to what I said before:Which makes me think that there is no "right way". At least, not a
"right way that is true for everyone". I would fear that an attempt
to get someone to hold a pen other than what comes naturally would impede their ability to transfer their thoughts to the paper.

What goes on between their ears is INFINITELY more important that what their hand is doing.

Do you still fist hold when writing? You don't! Why not? What's wrong with fist holding?!?

Why do you think you don't anymore? Perhaps someone corrected you?

Why would you let a child who knows how to hold a pencil like a "big girl" continue to hold a pencil like a baby?

Then what's the point of having those triangular crayons that teach proper pencil grip when there's nothing wrong with fist holding?

You seem like an intelligent man and I find it odd that you would allow something to be done incorrectly, if the person knows how to do it correctly. If there was nothing wrong with fist holding, then many more older children, adults, college students, etc would be fist holding...still.

I think Chris just means that "how" they are writing is not as important as what they are writing. If she already knows how to write the way you want her to and sometimes she reverts back to fist holding her pencil, she'll probably go back less and less.

When it comes to my daughter (and son), I try to pick my battles. Or I should say that I am learning to pick my battles.

Oh gee....I didn't see all the other comments "sparked" from my home school rule.....

Let me address some-

Now, let me clarify again what I mean....perhaps I wasn't clear. I showed my dd how to hold a pencil in a non-fist hold position. The way an older child, adult, etc would hold a pencil. She caught on quickly and now holds a pencil like an adult (the EXACT positioning of where she wants to put her fingers is up to HER comfort). Every now and then, she picks up her crayon/pencil, etc like a baby in the fist-hold position. Since I know that she can hold a pencil properly, like an adult, I correct her from the fist hold position to the regular adult like position - the "triangular" way.

What do I consider the "proper/correct way"? Well, definitely not the fist hold. If that was proper, we'd have a lot more "older" fist hold writers. I know there is NO exact correct way to hold a pencil and everyone holds it differently. The proper way for my dd is the way she holds it when she writes that is not a fist hold. I showed her how I hold a pencil and she tried and picked up her own groove.

And there may be "no right way" but there is a more proper way than fist holding.

I think Chris just means that "how" they are writing is not as important as what they are writing. If she already knows how to write the way you want her to and sometimes she reverts back to fist holding her pencil, she'll probably go back less and less.

When it comes to my daughter (and son), I try to pick my battles. Or I should say that I am learning to pick my battles.

I'm not sure what he meant but he said he was playing devil's advocate!

She is learning to write so fist holding isn't going to help with that. When she holds her pencil in the triangular position, she has much more control with tracing/writing and does a much better job. Thus she feels better about her work and wants to do more! If I let her fist hold while learning how to write, it would be a mess.

Let's see, fist holding is considered a way that a baby
holds a writing utensil and when they get older they
should hold it like a big kid. Good point. But then
again, who decided this? The professionals? Is not one
of the reason many of us want to/are homeschooling
because we don't feel the professionals have all the
answers. And if she is holding it "incorrectly": are you
afraid it is laziness? Or is it possible it is just more
comfortable for her and she is not ready to hold it any
other way. And those triangular grips are one of my
gripes actually. Can't stand to hold my pen that way.
Gotta go pick up older kids from school, but I have a
little more to say on this subject later.

who decided that fist holding is baby and regular grip is for big kids? Society perhaps. The whole point of my rule is since I know she can hold her pencil like a big girl, I'm not going to let her go back to holding it like ababy. Especially since she's learning to write. That's it! Folks here can be very sensitive!

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