Thursday, October 9, 2008

I am just everyday thankful for Lisa and her wisdom and this bible study that while I stumble around in life, she has it sitting there waiting for me to open where I left off and continue my study!

We are now in lesson #12 and while this should be a 12 week study, I think I have drug it out much longer and while The Lord Jesus Christ is always on my mind in everything I do, I sometimes get so bogged down with daily life, I can't do much else!

Well, for some reason, I cannot get anything but a black box on the lesson 12 questions, so I sent Lisa out a help me Email and will go on with lesson 13 here and retreat to 12 when I can access the lesson.

'I AM,' Your Portion, The Purpose of Promise.'

Do you struggle with a sense of self-worth? Yes, to some degree or perhaps it is perception of how I think I should look, etc. How do you perceive this has affected the way you are able to 'keep your head upright'?I can keep and do hold my head upright, it is I can't take pictures of myself, I feel I am old and ugly & I see things falling apart that should still be together! If not, do you know someone who suffers in this area? I know many adults in this area, however when it comes to children, I really believe they are amazing!

What are you most afraid of? Waking up one day and not being able to move. Each day for me is a struggle with my feet pain and back pain. Today, I couldn't even bend over to pick up my slippers. I am afraid of becoming dependent on someone else for my care! Does this fear affect the way you move through life? It makes me do things that others wouldn't like staying up late to get chores done because I couldn't get to them earlier in the day. It makes me want to install a walk in tub (but at $15K that won't happen), it makes me look around and wonder what I need to do in my life to prepare for that day! (Ex. Are you overprotective with children? Afraid to take risks?)

What is one of the most marvelous ways God has provided a need? Many years ago, my husband and I separated due to his drinking. I was working full-time, raising 2 teen-age sons and 2 grandchildren and attending school. I can remember one day needing to put gas in my car for work and having no money at all. I prayed and cried out to the Lord that I can't do this anymore on my own, I need HIS help. Several hours later a friend of mine asked me to meet her at the local mini-mart/gas station because she needed my help. I pulled in behind her at the pump and she got out and started to fill my gas tank with gas. I was amazed. You can't afford this I remember telling her, but she said her husband could and they decided to fill my tank. Why? She told me she was reading her Bible when God told her to put gas in my car! I don't make them up, I just report the facts!I can't wait to hear your stories on this one!

teve Brown, a Moody Broadcasting Bible Teacher, is one of the first people I ever heard teach the concept that God was not mad at me. I grew up in a denomination that led me to believe He was in a continuous state of disappointment over my failures. How about you? Though in your heart you know God says He loves you, does Satan in your mind ever try to convince you otherwise? There was a time when satan could convince me of this. Now, I know that God loves me and many times when I feel let down, I know He is using me or the situation to better my life or someone elses!

. How close are you to your own Promised Land? Not at all, 1/2 way, almost there? By this I mean the place of abundant living and effectiveness here on earth, not the ultimate fulfillment in Glory! Though I hope you are going to heaven, I don't want it to be today! :) I don't really know! I am happy even though I can't pay my bills right now or find a permanent job because I know God is going to use this time in my life to bless me and others! I do my best to help others where and when I can and even when I can't. I believe I am effective on earth...I am raising 3 grandchildren to be lovers of the Lord, I talk to children all the time about the Lord. I believe right now I am where He wants me to be. So, I would say about 1/2 way!

Well, the sun looks as if it might show up for awhile today and I am still so far behind in everything. Yesterday I completed a few projects, but today I really need to work on my house cleaning.