Month: June 2015

I’m trying to study again and it’s hard. It’s been 11 years since I graduated and in all this time I’ve never really had to study for anything. Sure there were a few courses at work, but nothing major.

Now, I’ve decided to get a professional qualification that’s quite challenging. When I was younger, studying is something that came naturally to me. Even throughout my career, anything that needed some study has been so easy. But now, trying to focus on real studying is hard.

I’ve been trying to get this qualification for the last 8 years, but I never managed to study enough to actually sit for the exams. Every year something would come up and I just had to give it up. This year I just can’t give up. I just have to see it through.

I so admire the people who can work and study…. people who go through college at night or part time Master’s degrees. It takes real determination. Seeing as how out of practice I am and how daunting this task feels to me right now, I am open to any suggestions that would help.

The last two weeks have been particularly stressful for me on a personal level. You know how they say…. when it rains, it pours… I was going through something like that.

Bad news seemed to be coming at me from every which way and instead of opening up, I retreated into a dark place. I opened WordPress several times, started a new post and didn’t write a word. It isn’t always easy to put things into words. I admire people who can write through their pain and stress. I discovered it wasn’t such an easy task for me.

I have always been the kind of person that people lean on. Well, that just makes it harder for me to lean on others. I don’t know why. It’s not that I don’t have people more that willing to help, it’s just something even I don’t understand. I’m sure a psychologist would have terms to describe it.

Thankfully the clouds have lifted from some of my troubles and for the others I have accepted it and trying to move on. But, one thing’s for sure, it’s not that easy.

I heard this awful song the other day by Britney Spears and Iggy Azalea called Pretty Girls (sorry if I offended anyone). As terrible as the song sounds, I couldn’t help but be amused at the lyrics. In my opinion, there’s a lot of truth to the lyrics.

Case in point… I was speaking to a co-worker+friend who told me he was having trouble with a girl from a certain department. She went so far as to complain about him to his manager, saying that he was standoffish and borderline rude. He told me he had done nothing wrong and dealt with her like he would any other person, very professionally. Few days down the line, I got around to seeing what she looked like and the effect she had on the guys on the floor. My friend is quite the handsome guy, and he’s single. The next time we had coffee, I told him that the reason she was complaining was that she was “a pretty girl”. He scratched his head, obviously. I had to explain to my naive friend, that pretty girls are used to getting their way and getting a certain amount of attention from people. So where all the guys on the floor accommodated her, his lack of noticing her looks, was something she didn’t understand or couldn’t accept. He couldn’t believe what I was saying. I told him to take her to coffee (which would give her the attention) and tell her that his girlfriend told him that he should talk out the situation (to explain why he doesn’t flirt with her). She never gave him trouble again!

It may be unfair and even wrong, but the truth is pretty girls do get by on a smile, even when they don’t need to. They do get to flash a smile and jump ahead in line, they do get served faster and many of them do use it to their advantage.

I’m just amused by the whole concept and this post is in no way meant to hurt or put down anyone.

“No matter how much difficult a situation is, friends and family will only be there for so long, in the end it will be just you to brave the world on your own. So, be independent & strong enough, physically but more of emotionally. You’ve got this!”

I came across a tweet today that said “Never be afraid to say what you feel!”…. Yeah right!! Can you imagine what would happen to the world if people always said what they felt or what came into their heads. I once watched an episode of House M. D. where a guy has problem with the part of his brain that filters the things we say. Needless to say, the guy almost lost all his family and friends, because he kept blurting out whatever came into his head. Imagine if that were the case in world politics, wars would probably break out in the flash of a second. While it’s true that throughout history, changes have been made in the world because of people being unafraid of speaking up about what they believe in. But that’s not what I’m getting at here. I’m getting very basic human feelings and thoughts. Even the greatest of activists were diplomatic when it came to dealing with people. In a idealistic world, we could probably just tell someone… you’re being an ass or that’s such a funny hat. But this is not Utopia, and diplomacy has become an inherent trait in all of us. We can’t all be Kramer. Imagine my surprise when I ask my 7 year old kid, do you think this is a nice dress. And she responds, it’s nice mommy because you like it, but may be you should look at the green one too. It’s obvious that she just being diplomatic not to hurt my feelings. Even her filters are on, and she doesn’t just say it.