Hello from RI

In my 40's I have become very, very, horney, and with it much more kinky, and curious. I am married and have been for over 10years, sex us ok, but i just need more. Even though I have always considered myself straight, and could not even stand looking at a guy naked, I am turned on by large cocks, long, and more importantly very thick. At 1st i just liked watching sex were a girls was with a very endowed man, but now I sort of really want more. Maybe its b/c i am so average in size, 6" and thick. I dont want to be intimate with a man at all, nor have any level of attraction, but i really, really want to suck on a healthy, nice size, and most importantly very thick cock. I have for the 1st time actually masturbated thinking about a cock in my mouth, licking and stroking it gently, teasing the precum out while I lick the sweetness of it, then feeling it tighten up, get harder and harder, until it sqirts a huge creamy load into the back of my mouth! Just want to feel the warm throbbing big cock in my mouth, no more. A suck the cum out. Sort of weird. If i could suck my own I would most likely be satisfied, but cannot. I have experimented so much lately w/ myself also looking for more sensations and thrills. Tried the following...anal stimulation both with dildo, prostate stimulators, and elctro-probes. Again suprised how much i love it...cannot beleive how i could have missed that at a younger age. Really want my life to do me with a dildo. To my suprise I like it large and thick that way also, but try not to do it a lot b/c dont want to do damage. Really like any sort of prostrate stim!!! Finally most exciting and best feeling experience ever is urethra fucking...just tried a virbrating sound and OMG!!! Came so hard and intensely..the feeling is so out of this world..you need to try it! Want to do that every day now but cannot b/c again dont want to hurt myself, or cause damage. Very very delicate area and takes a lot of careful prep. Maybe do 1x a month if lucky. I masturbate at least 1x per day and often 2x. Like to cum a lot and if I can leak some cum before full orgasim I will taste it off my finger fantasizing that it is someone elses large cock starting to squirt in my mouth. SO any how this is my hello..love this site b/c of all the info, talk, and pics of large cocks both straight and gay, with women, guys, or solo. If any of you want to communicate with me just send me a message. Love to share sex stories, masturbate together online, or even video..never ever did any of this! But most importantly if you want to be my first and let me suck on you until you cum I would so luv that. Need to be in RI though and somehow figure out how to make it safe?? Really want to feel a nicely shaped cock with a fat shaft and big head moving in my mouth or at least talk about it...thank