6.30.2010

I see you from a distance ; and every day you seem to get closer and closer to me. I know you will be up close & personal really soon - and I anticipate that day every morning that I wake. I am excited for the day to come when I can make new dreams to reach for ; new dreams to wait on. I know sometimes you maybe feel I ignore you ; or forget about you - but no matter what I know I will see you bloom and grow into something amazing as time passes. I thank you for never leaving me ; and always reminding me through song; through articles ; through friends that you are still alive in me - and just a few steps away. Till the day we meet ; I will keep you as always in my mind & heart.

xoxo;Jessica

Dear Stranger ; I see you laying on the same ground daily; and just wonder what your days used to be before this. Was it always so tough ; did you always have to ask for a quarter to feed yourself in the AM ? I wonder where your parents are ; or if you have any family at all. Hoping that what you feel inside isnt as bad as it seems to be. I will keep you in my prayers because I feel deep down you have lost your faith ; and maybe then God will hear my prayers and bring you into safe arms. I pray that you will smile again ; even if its just for a second. I pray that you will love - and know what love really is one day - and feel what love is one day.

6.29.2010

" D.I.V.A.S In Charge is an up and coming Girls Organization. Located in the heart of New York City. Divas in charge are an all girls club set out to create a community where girls of all ages can own up to their feelings. An environment created to feel more personal, like a safe haven. We set forth to bring amazing experiences to these young girls. Our mission is to develop strong characteristics out of each and every girl, instilling essential virtues upon them. So that as they continue on their journey into womanhood later on in life they will transform from young girls in the neighborhood to mature outstanding young ladies. And as they grow into young, confident, bold, established, emerging female leaders in our society /community what we have gave to them, they will pass unto others in return. Here we will empower them, enabling them to use the most powerful tool, the most powerful weapon of all ...Their minds and their voices. To remain silent in the sight of injustice is the true crime. Stay Tuned. " - Cynthia Flores

Nene; not only have you been my heart - but my inspiration. Because of you I realized my love for teaching. I remember way back when we were young - playing school & teaching you all these things before you even got into Kindergarten. I wanted you to know everything ; and I guess that made you honor roll student every single year of your life. I am so proud of the person you are ; & I hate to feel like you dont think much of yourself - or low of yourself. I get real emotional speaking about you always - because I think you may be the person that means the MOST to me in this world. God put you on this earth to be my angel. In you I see things I lack ; you dont have much - & your not capable to do all these things you would love to do - but you still remain happy & count your blessings daily. You make the best of what you have - & stay strong. For someone so small - your heart is amazingly huge. Your my little soldier - and because of you I do all I do. Your honestly my number one reason for living. I want nothing more but for you to be happy ; and I would do just about anything for that to happen. I would do just about anything to see you live your dreams one day - to see you walking again on your own two feet - to see you running wild with a smile on your face. But I know God has done everything with a reason behind it - and I trust in him - I know you do too. I love you more than anything in this world.

Lucas - Your 10 months old already ; you keep growing by the minute. & ever since September 7th - there is not a day that goes by when I dont think of you. You came into my life as a blessing in disguise. Though the whole situation on how you were brought to life was pretty tough & painful on many - a beautiful blessing was brought through it. I watch you ; and already see traits of mine in you. I see your future blossoming right infront of me - and promise I will be there holding your hand through every step. I am excited to see how you grow up to be ; and all the things you will like and dislike. I do know that you will change my life in many ways through this process ; and im ready for it. With every smile you light up my life. God works in mysterious ways ; and for that I thank him for you - every single day.

"There are just too many things, to explain, when it rains,guess it pours, yes it does, wish there wasn't any pain. But I can't pretend there ain't, I ain't placin' any blame,I ain't pointin' fingers, heaven knows there never been a saint. I know it just feels like we just pissed away our history, But just today, I looked at your picture, almost hate to say, I miss you self consciously, wish it didn't end this way.But I just had to get away, don't know why. "

"This pain she inherit cant be reversed. I cant even stay living in the shade of all the motherfuckers that played ya. The irony in that is that i aint even that, but you put it those pages. Wife, you deserve the label but, but you been hurt before so you dont feel your able,Tried them didnt work, got impossible standards.... nothing i ever do works "

" She sat next to me and said what's up wit you. I got the feeling for sexual healing A mental healing ; how you feeling. She caught the effect and said she feel the same. Could you massage my intellect and stop the pain. Desire's yearning, the fire's burning, You hot 'cause it's alot you're learning; Now I'm ready to explore you inner world. "

" Technology turning the planet into zombies. Everybody all in everybodys dirty laundry..Acid rain, earthquakes, hurricane, tsunamis, Terrorist, crime sprees, assaults, and robberies. Cops yelling stop,freeze..Shoot him before he try to leave . Air quality so foul, I gotta try to breath. Endangered species & we running out of trees.If I could hold the world in the palm of these hands, I would probably do away with these anomalies "

Mom ; I am happy to say & really mean this - you are my best friend. I feel as though there will always be hard times ; and days we wont see eye to eye - because at the end of it all - you are my mother first. But I know I have you there for me unconditionally. I know many people that cannot say the same thing. I have a lot of friends that have mothers that either left them ; or leave when they do not approve of them and the choices their child makes. I know that no matter what rut I get myself into ; you will either go with me or get me out of it. You make me want to be a great mother in my future ; you are the reason I know what REAL LOVE is. You are the reason I am strong & independent. It is true ; you learn more from other peoples mistakes in life. I know that you faced many hard times ; and you been through so much pain - but at the end of it all I know you learned from it ; but I don't think you know how much I learned from your pain & struggle also. I love you for everything ; for ever.

Dad ; There was a point in my life where I didn't know if I needed you - or even wanted you around. It was a hard point in my life.. where I feel you let me down. There are days where I still resent you for it. There are days still when I look back at those times ; and I cant help but tear up a little. But I remind myself that everyone is human ; and we all make mistakes. We all cannot be perfect and clean of errors. You never left ; and I have to remind myself that. Yes you hurt me ; and yes you did wrong....but you never told me to leave ; you never stopped calling. You never denied me ; I was your little girl - always. Even till this day I get a phone call atleast once a day - and though the call is a minute long ; I know you do it to remind me that through everything I still have a father that whole heartedly loves me and cares for me.

6.26.2010

Onto some great news ; guess what came in --- yes ! my business cards :) woot woot !!Yesterday was just great - I came home to these - PLUS registered for all my classes for Fall 2010 ...and im very excited ; got me some real good classes that I think I will be loving while learning :) If you wanna help me out with giving out my cards for my website ; then let me know && ill give you a couple to hand out to people you know :)

Now im just here chillin ; mommy got me the cutest METS pez candy dispenser.... cus of course im a QUEENS girl ; && no matter how much people talk about how much they suck ; I will remain a true fan - thick & thin.

&& umm .... I so need me a fan for my room --- cus this is just not working.

Well ; he is obviously more than a crush. So there will be two parts to this letter. One will be written as the person I was before; when he was my just my crush more than a year ago. The 2nd part will be where I am at now ; as his girlfriend.

I find myself liking you more and more each day. But I just dont feel I am ready for a relationship where I am at right now. I can be a difficult person to love ; and I dont want to become your downfall. I feel the butterflies ; and you make me nervous. But they say thats a good thing. I dont want to bring my walls down though ; because I know your young - and you cant already know what you want out of life. But part of me is saying to give it a shot ; and just tell you how much I like you. I want to thank you for not being like all the other guys. You have yet to make a move on me ; and you speak to me so sweetly. You sit there and listen to me speak ; and babble on subjects that you probably could care less about - but I see you listening ; and really paying attention to me. I see the light in your eyes when you stare at me - like I am all you see. Or is it just me ? I think you like me ; I think I feel it ....but I know we have both said we are not looking for anything serious right now. I just wish I had the guts to tell you I might be changing my mind.

Its been a year since we started speaking ; a year since I realized I was crushing you. A great year ; of love; support; happiness; laughter; and fun. I am still VERY difficult to love - but I think you understand me - you got it down packed by now. Lol. I appreciate your patience. I appreciate that you can handle my truth. I appreciate that you have never tried to change me. You have helped me mature ; you have helped me open my eyes to things that blocked me before in life from succeeding. I know that no matter what happens in life I will always and forever have a friend in you; and that is the greatest thing you can get out of a relationship. You have never disrespected me ; or played me for a fool - & thats what makes you different. You took the risk; and made the leap into loving me & it made me a stronger person to do the very same. I still cant believe that this day last year was the day we met - the day we sat across from each other. The day you asked me my age ; and where I was from. Lol. Soon it will be a year that we officially became a couple - the day I let my guard down & decided to make that leap with you. & I dont regret it not one bit. I love you Robert ♥

Im so proud of the person you are ; and the person you keep maturing into. Sometimes I feel you are way too hard on yourself. But all I know is no matter what you do or say ; I will always stick by your side just like you have been doing for the past 18 years. I remember when we first met at the bus stop going to our first day of kindergarten ; the same day we found out that my mother would become your baby sitter. Its been a long time since then. From many fights & arguments about barbies; and who did better in school. Lol. But it was never a doubt in my mind that you were my friend. I remember doing our homework in my dining room ; and my mother always having to seperate us because we would be talking and giggling. All of our fun summer days ; going camping & playing "school" with my brother. Going over to your house every nigh to play donkey kong & cabbage patch babies. You have taught me so much ; and I dont think you realize it. You taught me how to stand my ground ; but when to be nice --- cus you out of all people know I have a real mean side to me. Lol. Without Scary Spice our Spice Girls team would have not felt complete. I love how you dont sugar coat ANYTHING. When you think I am doing wrong or about to make a bad choice - you point it out asap ; and scold me for my bad behavior. Lol. But at the same time you are the most un-judgmental ( so not a word ) person I have ever ever known. You always see the better in things ; your the Charlotte to my Carrie; my optimist. Thank you for always being you ; and never putting up an act.

I am planning to start this 30 day challenge --- but knowing me I will forget ; considering I have a tight tight schedule starting July 6th. So I am going to try my best but if I forget I'll just write it the day I am able to. Think it might help in some areas ; plus also get my creative juices flowing when it comes to writing more poetry. Give me more variation of situations I can express myself in. It the 30 day letter challenge. So every day I will write a "letter" to each person listed. Im pretty sure that many of these people really wont read the posts. But who knows - mabe some will. Either way - I'm doing this for me.

6.24.2010

This blog just spoke to me in so many ways. I have been reading her site for as long as I can remember - & everything she writes is pure honesty ; bluntness -- but keeps your mind focused on what you really need & want from life / or people. I love her writing ; and the way she keeps me wanting & waiting for more post !http://houseofflyness.blogspot.com/2010/06/trust-me-hes-better-man-with-me.html

6.23.2010

The Roots came out with there new 2010 Album ; How I Got Over - in stores today. I got the chance to download it last night before heading to bed - thanks to one of my great twitter followers that put me on to a great site for albums & mixtapes. I must say I was super hyped to wakeup in the AM and listen to it on my way to work. I had a long commute out to Brooklyn ; and The Roots helped me make it through the day. I must say - I am SO impressed. It is so good that I cannot even pick favorites really. I have had it on heavy rotation on my ipod ALL day. It is one of those feel good ; motivating & fresh/ pure classic hip hop albums. The kind you want to start and end your day with. I am not for all that commercial music out lately ; if you know me well - you know im a BIG Drake hater. Lol. Not that I hate him ; or think he sucks - but I just dont consider him a real hip hop artist. I am more into underground music - that sound more like spoken word ; and not just songs that gain the artist money; and bump in the club. I enjoy songs that I can really relate to ; songs that remind me I gotta keep going & doing what I gotta do - stay commited. Hip hop is something I have grown to love. I like to sit and relate lyrically ; physically ; and mentally with the music and the aritist. Not music that preaches ; but just speaks to me. Not no "poppin bottles with models; and I got this I got that ; Ima drink this; Ima smoke that " songs. I was inlove with hip hop before it had to change its style up for fame ; before auto tune ; before it was all about getting rich. " How I Got Over " Album just reminded me why I love Hip Hop so much ; and made me feel live again. I give it a 10 out of 10. Go cop it now !!!! You wont regret it.

I know many people that dont quite like Ciara. But I love her ! Not only for her music ; but shes a great dancer. Also mostly because shes showing that skinny girls can still work it. Lol.

I was 100 pounds for years ; and no matter what I did I could never gain any weight. Until finally now I am 112 pounds. I do not know what I did to gain the weight ; but I am still trying to gain a little more. Your probably wondering why -- I dont like feeling so little ? I cant really explain it. Most girls that are thicker are always telling me " why would you want to weigh more ; your perfect ; I wish I had your body " But I sometimes feel I would look better with more fat on me ; Lol. I feel a lot better now with the weight I am at right now though. It sometimes gets to me that I am only a 34B but I have grown to love every natural bit of my body; because all in all God made me this beautiful woman that I am. I may not have the thickest thighs or the big boobs && ass .. but though I am "skinny" I still got a lot working with && I love my subtle cleavage && non- over exaggerative fatty. Lol.

The Game..BET was having a whole day marathon --- I started watching around 1PM ---- && at 2:30AM I was still watching. Lol. I love this show ; just because it is so easy to relate to. Loved it --- if you have not watched it you should !!

So I have always been this hopeless romantic girl ; that goes over the top to show my significant other that I really appreciate them. I have cooked for lovers before ; and gone above && beyond. But this is my very FIRST time going - way beyond. Lol. I brung out the floating candles ; wine ; pina coladas ; && fancy dinner setting. haha. But it was our 11 month anni ; && I figured I could do a little something since he said he got our one year anniversary to come next month. So I had the apartment to myself and decided to cook up some veggie lasagna ; rice && some chicken wings for him. Lol. He had no idea at all ; and when he came his face was priceless. I always feel so cheesy when I do things like that ; Lol. But I know he truly appreciates it. We ate && enjoyed our pina coladas - then watched tv all night. It was a good night.

6.19.2010

I have many post in the works ; saved in my drafts for you guys. Also I am thinking about vlogging --- just not so sure cus im a bit camera shy. Maybe if I get enough request for it I will do so.

I hate how on blogger - you cant get notifications that someone either commented after your comment .. or that someone commented a post of yours. Urggh. Makes everything a lot more complicated. I love speaking to my blog ladies ! I met such great girls on here ; and wish to meet many more - so if you do follow my blog && want to be more in touch with me - follow me on twitter !! : SIMPLLYXGORJESS !!

LASTLY ; I am looking to fix up my whole site - asap. New banner ....links to all my other sites and pages && just a whole new site renovation. I need help with it though; Last time my lovely Briana of Briunscripted.com helped me out. So if any of you know someone that is good graphically - or you are able to please hit me up either via twitter - or email me : Jsalazar529@yahoo.com !!

6.18.2010

I know I dont blog as much as usual ; or take the time out to really write .. but I have been super busy with work ; school ; && many events and projects I am currently working on. Here are some things coming up for me :

Photoshoot for a website that contacted meStill waiting on my business cardsPoetry in Pink Show * Performing one of my poems.Summer Camp starts soon AKA I will have no life. Lol.One more day & me and the boyfriend make 11months - my longest relationship without any breaks or intermissions. Lol.

Then some other things in progress ; that are not for sure so I will not speak on it & jinx it =X. Just know you will be seeing my name & simpllygorjess.com EVERYWHERE you look soon enough :)

I have never been so ready ; so focused; so determined. Thankyou Lord.

For awarding me her Heart & Soul Blogger Award. Appreciate it TONS. Means a lot to me when people send me things like that because it makes me realize what a impact I am actually making just by blogging. I dont want to be a person that is just taking up space on this earth ; without making great use of my talents. So here are the rules :

The Heart and Soul award is given to bloggers who allways take the time to sit and relate with their readers. Whether it be with the simplest walk down the street to something that my have triggered an emotion to inspire you to write the amazing entries that you do. Not all bloggers are able to capture the attention and hearts of readers. Bearing and exposing your HEART & SOUL in your blogposts, I present this gift to you.

*Rules:1. Award 10 bloggers.2. Thank the person that tagged you in a New Blog Entry.

This song is real catchy. && deff a song I know many of my past lovers listen to and think of me =X #cocky; I know :) mwahaha.

"Cus they don’t smile or smell like you ; Cus they don’t make me laugh or even cook like you. Cus they don’t photograph nah they don't sex like you - Lets face it I can’t replace you ; That’s why All I want is you now " - Miguel

" All my new bitches seem to get old real quick ; And could it be your everything that these plain bitches couldn’t be " - J.Cole

Love this song. " Im cheating on my girl ; with my girl " . Fits pretty well for me cus Im a Gemini ( the best sign EVER lol ) && I'll admit I do have two split personalities ; I guess you can say an alter ego at times. Lol.

So; recently this week a certain situation occurred - that made me so proud of myself & my relationship. A somewhat stranger decided they had the need to "inform" my boyfriend about some issues that happened a couple months back. Luckily ; me and my boyfriend have this - no secrets ; kinda relationship. We tell each other absolutely EVERYTHING without holding shit back; RIGHT when it happens. No matter how bad we feel the situation will get after it. We just both agreed we would tell each other things right away before finding out on our own ; or even worse through other people. So that was a big #fail for the other person. Lol.

My reason for this post though was - that the situation made me think ; like imagine I was that kind of sneaky person ; and I would do shit behind his back. The whole situation would have been pretty messy. I feel that this is what many relationships lack - ALL honesty. Me and him speak on things other couples would be too scared to speak on. I think this has got to be the most mature relationship I have been in ; and since he is as understanding and mature - it levels me to be the exact same. So like that when things hit the fan we don't argue and yell like most couples would. We really sit and talk ; and tell each other everything - and we both just try to fix the situation together ; without judgment or over reacting.

I think relationships with a lot of drama ; and you did this - you did that - are never healthy for either person. I have been in many of those kind of relationships ; where they love to always throw past mistakes you have made in your face out of no where. Or relationships where I would be too scared to let my other half no about certain ways I was feeling. It was unhealthy for me in all types of ways. You should never be scared to let your significant other know how your feeling. You want someone who can be their for you through good & bad - and for that you need real good communication at ALL times; not just sometimes. I feel that we both had to go through all those dramatic relationships in our past to really mature into the individuals we are now together. I am just very lucky to have this kind of relationship ; open book at all times - no secrets ; no codes; no ball & chain.

I am currently reading this book - I AM INLOVE. Since I have picked it up its been life changing. It has taken me places no book has ever taken me. Its deff a book like no other. It took me on a trip - spiritually and literally ( since she takes a trip to Italy; India and Indonesia ). I recommend this book for many reasons :not only because it is a great read ; but I think she did something we all once think of doing - but never have the guts to ; and its amazing to be able to read it - motivates you to take risks that you usually would not take. It was a book I really needed at this point in my life ; and I think once I am done reading it - I might just do some things I have always wanted to do ; spur of the moment crazyness myself ! Lol

" I used to have this appetite for my life; & now its gone - I wanna go somewhere where I can marvel at something " - Eat ; Pray; Love.

It is also being made into a movie ! with none other than my most FAVORITE actress ever - Julia Roberts. In theatres :August 13th ♥

One of my bloggers reminded me of this new face in hiphop. A blessing to hip hop - cus lately we all know hip hop has been dying out ; REAL hip hop I mean. && I honestly think he is one of the very few new faces that has helped me believe that there is really still gifted people out there that will keep hip hop on the pedestal it should be on when it comes to music. There are still people that USE their mind on the mic.

6.09.2010

July 2009 was a smash event at Camaradas. This year we're trying something new for Poetry in Pink 2010.

The event was created as a way to raise money for my Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk team Maggie's Latin Angels and as a showcase for some of the hottest NY performance artists to show their stuff.

>>>>>>>$10 DOOR FEE (THIS GOES TO THE CAUSE GUYS!!!!!!) <<<<<<

THERE WILL BE A SILENT AUCTION OF VARIOUS VISUAL ART AND GOODIES AND A RAFFLE (RAFFLE TICKETS WILL BE $2 EACH), SO COME PREPARED TO WIN. [AS IN BRING MONEY...LMAO]

This year being held as an afternoon event.... there is a FULL menu of food, wine and beer at Society. Every drink you purchase at Society, a dollar of that purchase will go towards the cause.

AND WHAT'S BETTER? AFTER THE SHOW, THERE'S A HAPPY HOUR BEING SPONSORED BY 67 ORANGE STREET (WHICH IS JUST ONE BLOCK AWAY) from 6pm -8pm.

6.07.2010

I got this shirt way long ago ; but it started getting hot && tees just werent cutting it for me && my what I call " menopause at a early age " Lol. Today its pretty nice out && not too humid so I decided to finally wear it. I love the message it gives. " Respect my mind; Respect my grind - A womans work is never done " I have been working my ass of lately - not just at work ; not just at school - but in LIFE period ! I have been doing a million things at once ; yet still managing to stay sane & happy. I have had my breakdowns && all - but I have dusted myself off & got right back to it. I am proud of myself for the person I have grown to be - I am so much more motivated then I think I have ever been in my life. & every day I just get more & more motivated; positive ; && enlightened. I will achieve all my goals - I will live this great ; extraordinary life. You dont have to like it ; or be happy for me --- but just respect it.

Found the first EVER short story I had typed out. I remember it was my freshman year in college ! I read it today for the first time since ; and wow. Its just one of the deepest things I have ever wrote. A lot of it is written on real life events that have occured & things I have dealt with so it hit home a bit when I was reading it a loud to myself. It also made me realize though how much better I keep getting at my writing as time passes. So props to me ♥

Get to Know me..

Not your average girl. Please dont compare me to the next chick. Colombian background. Gemini. American born. Sarcasm is my best attribute. IN LOVE with Jesus Christ
Open-minded.Hip Hop is my lifestyle. Shoe Addict -Im literally going to be the woman who lived in her shoes. The little things in life make me happiest. Knowing Im loved & appreciated is my greatest joy.

Contact Me !

To all of my followers ; If you have any questions ; request; or ideas for my blog please contact me - via email (Jsalazar529@yahoo.com) or via twitter (@simpllygorjess). I will respond and be happy to try out any request you have for me :]

Same goes for Companies or Music Artist/Writers Etc that want me to review/test or sponsor their products or work.