The Pat and Barb Verly family and their 5 children, in laws and grandkids along with many prayer warriors have been drawn together by John's cancer... sharing daily for 8 months started this blog- Family Soul Story - Our faith, family, farm and now our cancer journey called HEALING have colored and deepened our world. WE continue to share and depend on the support of our prayer warrior community, that has lowered us into the Lord's presence for His healing!

Friday, September 30, 2016

"I love the sun!" Mom sitting on the sun porch reading her daily prayers books just 2 days away from her 97th birthday!

I have noticed that she adores laying in the sun in her bed or on the sun porch over this last year and a half on hospice care, but I imagine that it goes much deeper than warming her aging bones. As a forever farm wife and girl growing up on the farm since 1919... the sun is hugely important to her! I am sure that the hot sun was there all those 97 years for her to toil in - working hard in garden, home and field, but I am sure she relished it upon her face and back knowing that the sun was important to make the crops and garden grow to feed her family. We all get down after days and days of sun hidden behind clouds, but for those that make their living from the land... it goes very deep indeed. Yes, we need the rains, but the Sun is so very needed and important to us!

The Christ tears/Hoya plant that came with me when I married Pat 38 years ago! In my apartment it had grown through wicker furniture and climbed my walls, too! Mom got a cutting when she moved to town in 1989, and over these last 27 years it has loved this sunroom and filled it with shiny healthy green life! A few times a year is blooms and puts out clusters of soft velvety blossoms with a sweet smell and a dew drop on each blossom - hence the name Christ's tears! You smell the blossoms and tears before you see them nestled in the leaves overhead!

Much to ponder today in the readings and also the Saint for today - Saint Jerome is mind boggling in what he accomplished for the entire world... the translation of the entire Bible! Crazy to consider doing that and how much effort, prayer and time it took him to accomplish this by hand!

Beans being harvested last evening... a wonderful crop this year!

The first reading from Job38-40 in which God basically puts Job in his place good and proper... Have you lit the sky with the day or comprehended the earth or the darkness or commanded that there is light in the world... in my own words he is asking Job if he has any input in how this world works. Job answers with sorrow for missteps and humility... much as we are called to do each time we come to our Lord in Reconciliation!

Ed dumping the beans from the combine into the grain cart on the "fly."

Speaking about Reconciliation... Psalm 139 from mass today is the bomb! It speaks of how God knows everything about us, so why try to sweep it under the rug and hide it? One verse that jumped out to me was about our journeys because this is what we are all on. My journeys and my rest you scrutinize, with all my ways you are familiar. Where can I go from your spirit? From your presence where can I flee? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I sink to the nether world, you are present there. Truly you have formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother's womb. I give you thanks for I am fearfully, wonderfully made; wonderful are your works. Guide me, Lord, along the everlasting way.

Ruth showing Luke that Baby is our pet cow and you can pet her!

When the ponder the idea of "journey"... it really became a powerful personal one for me with the brain cancer that struck our 20 year old son, John, 7 years ago! The path was there to go down with the words from Hallel as we started to take our first steps that Father's Day 2009..."This is the storm and Jesus is in control!" Just as God the Father pointed out to Job today in the first reading from mass... God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit/The Trinity/Three in ONE is in control of all that comes our way in LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT which comes to us through the Cross!

Yes, Lord, you are truly in control of our lives and each time we attempt to try to run things we get ourselves separated from you and your LOVE and unconditional forgiveness. We long to come to you in The Confessional and lay our burdens and sins at your feet - why hold any back or try to hide them? You see them all and know us inside and out! We leave there free and forgiven and given your Mercy! We then are asked to take and return that to all those in our lives - most especially those the closest to us in our domestic Church/family! dMay we continually give ourselves over to you and die to self so that we may serve without counting the cost. Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Hallelujah

David in the clouds!

Lilly sees a chance for some ice cream or at least a face to lick!

Mary is now swimming with the swim club! Her mom and aunts did that before her, and that will be a good thing for her. You just compete against yourself and work at improving with time and practice!

Imagine the warm sun and the wonderful oxygen thanks to this amazing healthy plant filling the sun room! The best medicine!

Such glorious weather!

Hard to do, but the Cross does bring LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT into the world!

Yes.

I have so fallen in love with The Scriptures these last years.. thanks to The Magnificat, The Community of the Lamb, and Seeing Jesus in The Word!

Thursday, September 29, 2016

How about a half hour notice for your grandson's mass at school? I knew that I would have Luke today, as Ruth worked overnight and needs some peaceful sleep, but suddenly I was informed that I could go to mass this morning at school... Simon's 6th grade mass on this beautiful feast of the 3 glorious/ or should I say giving God all the glory Archangels... Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel! Simon appropriately sang like an angel as he led the singing through mass. Ruth worked on her volunteer job of decorating the chapel.. using soybeans and corn out of the fields along with some leaves.

There is a special place in my heart for this beautiful statue of Mary over the years. All 5 of our kids spent about 18 years here from when Ruth started in Kindergarten and John graduated 8th grade. And now we are there again with Ruth's. With #6 now she will have kids here even longer than we did!

It was such a gift to find myself in this beautiful chapel today with Ruth, just off of work, and Luke happy to see mom for a while! A great addition to our day! It was great to spend morning prayer with Pat and John while they ate breakfast and then headed off to work. The wonderful angels at our side and at war with the evil that is in this world. Learning that St Raphael is who is to be prayed to for "defender of adolescent chastity." John mentioned that he needs to tell his siblings about this with all their little ones to protect from harm and misguided worldly notions that are all around us this day.

Simon leading the singing during the mass... a sweet newborn there with mom as his brother is involved in the mass, too! So wonderful to see families grow and this wonderful Catholic school sharing Faith with generations! This little baby's dad was a classmate of Ruth's and now their children will worship and grow here basking in the LIGHT, and protected by the Archangels and Mary and Jesus with all the Saints! An army of good to keep us on the path.

A special sight to these old grandma eyes.

A class picture when they are all dressed up for mass! They are 6th graders this year, and just 2 years left in HRS!

Believe... all things are possible... Nice job, Ruth, and the farm certainly did provide for the fall decorations.

Sweet Simon sings so beautifully and uses his voice like an instrument, which is truly is!

Luke is soon to lay down and give grandma some rosary/rest time after our busy morning in town. He certainly is a very advanced talker, and was interesting to be in the store with. "What is her name?" "What are they buying?"

Luke showed me how he played hide and go seek in the confessional yesterday while mom was decorating. The confessionals are fun now, and a reminder that both of grandsons, Davids, are having their first reconciliation soon, and will both be receiving their first Communion this year! Exciting times with 2 first reconciliations and 2 first Communions, and 3 baptisms this year! The best! Then to have this most special mass and Sacrament - Eucharist on this glorious day of the feast of the Archangels! So much to give us what we need and then some for this journey of Faith each day!

Each window sill had a special arrangement made more beautiful by the bright sunlight coming in the frosted windows.

Jesus, your blessings and graces abound and we are given so much more than we can ever take in and make a part of us. May we become more and more yours and die to self so that the Holy Spirit can work through us. May we become your hands and feet in this world of confusion and darkness. We are called to be open to LIFE and to raise LIGHTS to shine forth in the darkness. May we always embrace our Most Cherished Cross and follow after you. Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Hallelujah

I see you... Luke. You are so lucky to be #5 and will be a big brother to #6... showing your sibling how to grow in Faith in our wonderful Catholic School! Faith is taught foremost in the home/our domestic Church, but it is so wonderful to have Catholic School to assist us in teaching and living The Truth!

Luke crossing himself with holy water after we greeted his brothers and sister. Rose is in preschool all day Tuesday and Thursdays now. Growing up so much!

Mowing the lawn as the sun was setting... it was so beautiful, and many times I would stop mowing to try to capture it!

The last rays of the sun and the violet clouds on our special cottonwood tree, and the corn field golden ripe.

The two cows followed me around to eat the fresh grass from the mower!

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Just minutes before I started for home... my military family out on a gorgeous day! Maria had just discovered that she will have her daughter in 4 weeks - October 25th! We are all very excited and prayerful that all goes well. We are trusting as we are asked to by Jesus today in the Gospel.

Family Time is the Best!!!!

I love this sign on my barn... it has been there since June when all the girls, minus Hallel, came home. Now I have been gone almost 2 weeks spending time with my parents, Nancy and Maria and families. Bean harvest started around here yesterday, but today is dreary and damp, so on hold due to the weather. Pat put 2 cows, one of them being our pet cow, Baby, in the pasture around our little red barn. It adds to the specialness of being home. They watched me as I went out to pick 15 eggs and half a pail of vegetables from the garden this morning. The 2 dogs and 2 cats also joined me on my rounds.

Some cow companions this morning instead of little ones filled with the ups and downs of little ones.

The chickens seemed to do OK with out the old chicken lady here to care for them.

Two weeks away and the crops are very much ripening... Pat says that when the corn pushes out the ends that it is the sign of a great crop! The rains certainly have been here this year, so we are hopeful!

Cats in the corn field, and dogs begging for an egg, and tomatoes, peppers, onions and beets fresh from the garden. Ruth stopped in with Luke and Rose - her job is to do the decorations in the school chapel. She will use leaves, corn stalks and soy beans... we think they represent fall and are beautiful!

They sure are a great family! It was great to share in their daily life.

It is good to be home for my two men, and we caught up some before bed and prayed together this morning - morning prayer and the Gospel before they headed out to their jobs. Both report that they are happy and doing well. John is very excited about how well his 8th grade girls volley ball team is doing, and in awe of the varsity team. It is good to see him happy and enjoying being back in the school setting. Thank you, Lord!

I returned home to discover this amazing gift straight from Rome from a sweet cousin! She had been in Rome over the time that Teresa of Calcutta was sainted! On Sunday September 4th Pope Francis had her mass, and it sounds like all Rome was filled with people around that time... My cousin writes: "My friends and I tried three different times to go into St Peters Basilica but after several hours in line we walked away! But we got up very early on the 11th ( the day before I left Roma) to try again. We arrived to find the Pope was giving a Mass and Blessings to all who were there! I ran to the corner store in front of the Basilica and bought this Rosary with you in mind! The rosary was blessed by Pope Francis on Wednesday, September 11th at the Vatican.
Later that day we returned to the Basilica and we were able to walk through and touch the Holy Doors (opened this year for the special year of Mercy), and walk into the Basilica. People ask me for my favorite experience in Roma and I must say it was the moment I touched the doors and walked into this beautiful tribute to our Lord! I felt the Holy Spirit touch me and go through my whole body!! It has changed my life forever!! I don't have an emptiness of walking alone and I can handle anything that he wants me to do."

I love the blue - it reminds me of my week with my Community of the Lamb and to have these blessed beads with St Teresa of Calcutta remembered as she intercedes with Mary the Queen of Heaven to our Lord!

When I asked my cousin, if I could share this here... she wrote me; "Absolutely share my wonderful experience in St Peter's Basilica! He wants us to share HIS wonderful love! My experience has truly changed my life! Before this experience I was always afraid of being alone. I knew and believed the Holy Spirit was always with me, but now... I felt is sweep through my body standing there in The Basilica!! My life has forever changed!! Life is good! God Bless you, you cousin."

A call for lunch has ended up in a few hours away, and the need to quickly end this for today.

Jesus, I love you and am so glad that I can share it with every beat of my heart and every breath that I take! How wonderful to share the story of my cousin and her amazing wisdom of The Truth - "He wants us to share his wonderful LOVE!" Yes! You are so right and this is the exact message of our Pope Francis in announcing this being the year of Mercy! WE are to return the LOVE, Mercy and unconditional forgiveness we have been given to all those we encounter... most especially those the closest to us in our domestic church/family! The Beauty of The Church truly does lift our spirits and souls to YOU, O Lord. Daily I call upon you, O Lord; to you I stretch out my hands. Psalm 88 from mass today. After listening to Christian music for 11 hours in my car yesterday coming home... I feel that my hands are lifted up in total praise for my wonderful Savior! Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Halleujah

A great harvest is underweigh... praying for safety for all those working long hours taking out the crop. Bless-bless, Barbara Luke

Over to Ruth's to pick apples and get one of Luke with the pumpkins...

Easy to pick, but hard to mow under especially now that the branches are loaded with huge apples!

My blessed Rosary is calling me and my sweet cousin will be included in my prayer time on her gift to me!

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

A huge container of hair bows and ties will now have sister to share them with! We have the date for Evangeline's arrival - on her dad's birthday, October 25th! "She will be here 4 weeks from today!" Therese was jumping for JOY!

Gifts for the shower. I thanked Therese for giving me the JOY of making my watercolor cards and giving special gifts to my military girls. Therese said that the boys said they will teach her how to play war and fight. I am sure "T" has plans to play her dollies with her new sister. I wonder who will win?

A watercolor I did for Maria's birthday in highschool - I think it was her 14th birthday. I use children's books to help me come up with ideas and then make them my own.

This was made for her when she left for college with many prayers for her Faith journey with Jesus. She had plans to leave The Church, but after a conversation with a seminarian... she not only did not miss going to Sunday mass but started to go to daily mass and became a Catholic Studies major and studied in Rome for a year, then joined the Poor Clares for 7 months and discerned out... finished college including a masters and then married Joseph... now expecting #5 in 4 weeks!

It seems that I get away from home and I need to capture my time through watercolors. At home I don't feel the need to watercolor unless there is a birthday or occasion of memory. I am about to head out on my journey home!

Pat says that soon this will be happening at home, so I am needing to get there and do my part. Love this and yes, my prayers are with safety and a good harvest. Dear Lord, Keep us safe and sane!

Chores start the day - Therese washes the floors - one each day except for Sunday! Today was grandma's room while she packed her car.

David doing the vacuuming each morning.

Lord, gives me safe travels to my busy farm home, and be with the farmers keeping them safe. Thank you for Family time and for the blessings we receive one from the other. The Mercy we have been shown may we return to those in our domestic Church/family. Jesus, we trust in you. Bless-bless, Barb

Saying goodbye to mom and dad - mom to see the doctor and all is well, and dad off to work for the day.

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This was taken on Easter Sunday in Colman, South Dakota about 12 years ago!

My dad had done the unthinkable - said yes to being a Deacon in Colman, South Dakota just 60 minutes from our door to their door of the rectory... they had promised to help out as parish administrator of a small town chuch and to help out in the other cluster churches. It was my parents first contact with living the farm life other than second hand through a visit here and there to our farm. Now they were immersed in farm life and loved it! I loved the fact that for 3 years I could jump in the car and go and hang out with them for an afternoon here and there! It was amazing! Soon their 3 years were at an end and we all gathered for a huge family celebration of Easter... we filled the social hall with our huge family... I am the oldest of 11 with over 30 grandkids! The wind of the Holy Spirit was howling as our family gathered in front of the church doors for a family photo... it made us smile to have the wind roaring at us with the fury that only the prairie can muster!

How I love the pictures of the kids in Big Shoes! Adorable!

What is it about the kids walking around the house in mom or dad's shoes? I think that it is a form of flattery... they like to see mom of dad in those shoes so it makes them feel like they are looking like their beloved parent of just acting big like them! I remember my 3rd daughter, Maria, was so in love with her daddy... she would crawl around the bedroom and drape his socks around her neck that she had picked up off the floor just as a token of her love for him. I have a group of pictures in the bathroom that are just of that theme... Wearing mom and dad's shoes. I think that it is about as cute as can be... and also a wonderful tribiute to a child's love and appreciation for their parnets. I have now seen my 3 grandchildren that live closeby and spent much time with us also put on mostly grandpa's shoes which are usually over by the door and walk around in them... I think that a lot of that reflects that love and appreciaion that they have for him and his loving sharing ways with them. Now a generation later I have watched now grandpa LOVE each one of those kids so specially by showering them with the time by taking them along outside or allowing them to sit in his lap and share his meal when he comes in late for a meal... The same scene that I saw with our 5 kids and the resulting love and appreciation and respect! Who knew wearing his shoes was a sign of love and devotion?!?

The absolutely amazing letter that Susan/Little Sister Hallel sent to Nancy about marriage...

Nancy was engaged to Bill Bandzuch on April 10, 2010... We are all so happy for her as she has waited long for her Catholic man to come into her life. She had stood by her values and as a result it was especially sweet and special when she joyfully accepted Bill's proposal! We all gathered in Maria and Joe's back yard to help them celebrate that afternoon minus her sister in KC... Little Sister Hallel. We called her and she spoke to each one of us and even her neice and nephews ! A month later Nancy found this letter from her sister in the mailbox. It was mother's day and she called me to read it to me over the phone. I was blown away and at first thought how crazy it was that a young girl,who had answered the call to remain chaste and be a little sister had so much insight into marriage! But when I realized that she is now the "bride of Christ" it now makes all the sense in the world! I would like to once again share this powerful and wise letter here... Nancy, Look I am writing you a letter... aren't you impressed? Well, you better be because both you and I know how often this happens. I am writing to tell you now extremely excited I am about your engagement to Bill. I have to admit, when I got the news I wasn't really shocked but that night as it sunk in during adoration and the next day during mass I was so happy. My heart overflowed with joy for you. How beautiful to know that you have found your... most cherished cross. While I have never had the experience of being married, from what I hear is that he will truly be your cross. But not your cross as human eyes look at it, as a thing to run away from, as a thing of torture but rather as that which is truly the tree of life. It is only when clinging to the cross that one can truly live, it is the source of all life and of all love. Your marriage to Bill will be this, not something to run away from when it gets hard and when it hurts, but something to hold tight to, especially when it hurts because it is in this that you will find life and love. Know that it is through your marriage that Jesus wants to show you his great love for you and also that the best example that you can give to the world of Christ's love is a marriage lived in truth. So, in other words, know that I am so happy for you and that I love you a whole lot. Know that you are in my prayers during this crazy time of wedding planning; that you may not go crazy but rather learn to love each other better and that you may both have great joy and great peace. Remember to pray for me too! God Bless, Your little Sister Hallel

My sister Mary and I in the barn in our barn clothes when she was here to help us... 1982

I was not pregnant in this picture so it must have been after Nancy was born... Mary was soon to leave us sadly... she had fallen in love with the farm and did a few years later meet her dairy farmer - they married and had a daughter before she died of lymphoma at the age of 28... Some things in life are a mystery.. someday we will understand.

Our daughters, Nancy and Little Sister Hallel/Susan, with John in Lourdes, France.

Little Sister Hallel had just taken the habit of the community of the Lamb and changed her name a few days before this taken in August of 2009... John, Nancy and I had gone to help her celebrate this huge step in her life! John had just been diagnosed with brain cancer and had just completed his second chemo and was better, so within 24 hours we decided that we would fly to France! We visited Lourdes and all bathed in the healing waters which miraculously flow from the spring where St Bernedett was told to dig in the mud! John said that the day was "very good" , and for him that is saying a lot! This past winter Pat and I were in a study group of a book written by Matthew Kelly called Rediscovering Catholicism... this paragraph on p48 is amazing and so wonderfully defends the choice of religious life but also the joys and beauty of this life! I quote: "In every age, there is a small number of men and women who are prepared to turn their backs on popular culture and personal gain to embrace heroically the life Jesus outlines in the Gospels. These people fashion Catholicism into a lifestyle, they listen attentively to the voice of God in their lives, and they passionately pursue their personal adventure of salvation. As a result, they capture the attention and fascinate the imaginations of everyone who crosses their path. Paradoxically, the modern world pities these people because it believes they are missing out on something. Never feel sorry for them. These men and women are the happiest people who ever lived. They are the saints. If the Church is to thrive in this modern era, it depends on men and women like these."

Sitting on the front porch of our home in Minneapolis - me and my friend Marge a few years after..

This was taken a few years after we met while attending welcome week at the U of M in 1970! I did not know at the time that Margie would be responsible for the rest of my life - my meeting and a year later marrying her brother, Pat... I have written many cards to her over the years telling her in every way possible that because of her I have my life. We will celebrate our 32 anniversary this summer, so she has been in my life more than not! Thank you Margie Rose/Raterra Rashana for being such a loyal and true friend... there is no doubt that you were put in my life by our loving forgiving Lord ! Your life growing up on the farm in Southwest Mn is now my life and our children's lives are blessed as a result! How I rejoice at the Lord's fingerprint on my life! Jesus I trust in You! Please bless my dear friend now and forever. Amen and Halleluia!

My sister Mary at the baptism of my daughter, Nancy Anna.. She is Godmother and my dad is baptizing

In 1982 my sister, Mary, came to help me while I was on bedrest with my second daughter... I had high blood pressure and was on bedrest, so Mary came to help me around the house with my 2 year old Ruth and help Pat milk the cows. She was a city girl like me, but fell in love with the farm and we loved having her with us! After Nancy was born on April 2 we asked Mary to be her Godmother. We realized after I was on my feet that she needed to move on, so tearfully she went up to live with my folks in TF. She eventually became a doctor's office nurse and on a blind date met her farmer, Gerry.... he was a dairy farmer in Wisconsin. They married and had a daughrer, Audrey.... When Audrey was 20 mo Mary died of Lymphoma... Gerry is now married to Cathy, who had 5 kids and her husband drowned in the river up there...

Snapping beans with the 5 klids as we are in Taylors Falls visiting my parents in the summer of 92

I was in the thick of bean harvest in my garden when I took my kids to spend some days in the summer with my parents... probably late July of 92... WE picked them and brought them along to snap at my parent's house. We have such wonderful memories of our days spent in Taylors Falls at their remodeled cape cod house up on Angel Hill. Now after 14 years of liiving on Lake Michigan in Manistique in the upper penninsula... my parents have bought a home on the St Croix River in St Croix Falls, Wi which is right across the river from Taylors... I am thrilled that now my parents will be close enough for me to go and see them for the day or for a few days much more often! I loved to go to the big lake, but so missed my parents being closer so that I could spend time with them! Thnak you Lord for this move and may they continue to be a wonderful presence in my life for years to come!

The wedding shower that the friends from church and daily mass put on for Pat and I in my mom's

My friend Marilyn just had given Pat and I wonderful rosaries for a gift... we were both very touched and how much better does it get? To have a Catholic Shower! It was wonderful and the rosary has been huge in our marriage too!

Pat's mom took this picture after milking the cows one morning shortly after we were married.

Typical old camera quality - this was after we were done milking the cows with the baby calves... with dairy calves...they are taken off of their mothers at birth so that you and I can drink the milk...they start out on a big bottle and then graduate to pails of milk. That was one of my jobs out there as well as giving each cow some protein to eat while Pat was moving down the line milking them. I also would help undo the headgate when he was done so that they could go out of the barn. Pat of the time I would sit on an upside down pail and watch him milk the cows and sometimes we would visit. I married a farmer and I found these times special to the point that when Ruth was born - I would bring her over and put her strapped in her infant seat close to the heater in the milk house... she was born Jan 4, 1980... Soon my in laws told me to bring her in the house and put her in the bed with them while I helped Pat... Ruthie got to know her grandparents really well and has early memories of waking up and seeing a certain light fixture over their bed and the warm feelings that go with snuggling with her loving grandparents morning after morning! They even took a movie of her first steps dressed in different outfits day after day that we have never seen! Got to do that someday! The early years were special for many!

Pat comes to visit me in the Cities as things slow down a bit on the farm - cross country skiing...

This picture was taken by my younger sister, Mary... she is now gone for 24 years due to cancer at the age of 28! Pat had come to visit me and we decided for him to wear one of my brother's boots and try cross country skiing for the first time! The boots were too small, but when Pat Verly is motivated to do something... nothing will prevent him! Boy, have I learned that to be a huge part of him after almost 32 years of marriage! He also likes to be rough and tumble and caused this fall to get some bodily contact and to tussle with me! Thank goodness for soft snow to fall in! The dating years were long distance and due to the demands of the farm - we dated maybe once every few weeks when he could certainly not every night or even once a week... at the busy times of the year it was even less, but Pat was very good about calling me on the phone and having long conversations about our lives... he gave me many lessons on the farm life in the middle of the nigh... when he would wake me up after he got in from work! I knew that when that phone would ring that it was my farmer! The thing about farming... similar to the Catholic Church... you never learn it all...there is always more to learn and my Patrick is very intelligent and very interested in it all!

I like to call this picture taken at our first Christmas....married 4 months....THE LOOK OF LOVE!

My mother probably took this picture of Pat and I at our first Christmas at their home in Mpls in 1978... I love it! To capture Pat looking at me with so much love and attention gives me warm feelings and delight! I need to remember this sometimes when I am feeling down about myself and if Pat is disappointed in me that hurts about as badly as anything can... Deep down we love each other no matter the obstacles!

Her name Hallel means Joy- Halleluia.... she reflects that inner joy when she is singing...

Little Sister Hallel has shared that when others say her name they are praising God with the highest of praise and Joy! There are many Hallel psalms including the last 5 psalms - 145 thru 150 and the grand Hallels are in the center of the psalms. the word means tall in French also and Hallel being much taller than most...this is humorous to the community! As a mother I am happy for her choice to be with the community of the lamb to see her happiness and joy... her face lights up in a way that cannot be anything but genuine happiness!

Finally I leave the nest!

I loved being with my family so much that finally after I had become an nurse - 4 years of college and lived at home... got a job at Hennipen County Medical center on the Neurolgoy station... and just went along day to day at home with my family including 10 yonger siblings... One day my mom asked me if I had ever thought of getting my own place... Oh, I tought... that is maybe something I should think about. I then rented a third floor of a house just a block from my parents' home. It was great! Close to my beloved family...yet my own place!

John with Bertha at the State Fair a few years back

Bertha took reserve champion with her calf in the cow-calf division a couple times for John at the State Fair... You can always count on Bertha! 4 H was a wonderful thing for our kids... It was the one time that they learned about livestock on a day to day basis with their dad. They also learned a lot of life skills including how to present themselves in front of people... this has developed into John's future wishes for a life profession... Ag and presenting himself to large groups of people however that all comes together... Lord hear our prayer for a long and bright future for John with you always number one in his life!

Quiet days of growth and reflection on "the farm"

Filled with love and excitement and joy as I studied Catholicism in the quiet of Wisconsin farm country... I expressed it with photoraphy, sketching, caligraphy, reading and marveling at the depth of the Church and all that I will be learning for the rest of my life! I will never come to the end of the learning and growing with OUr Lord and His Mother and all the saints at my side!

Two 5 month losses - both boys born after John - buried at the cemetary

William and John would have been very close in age - about 14 months... I went in for my 5 month check up and the heartbeat couldn't be found... an ultrasound revealed that he had died... I had some scary miscahrriages, so the thought of carrying him til I "lost" him was terrifying to me. I went through a 5 month abortion procedure to deliver my son. I had a postagladin suppository inserted and went through a horrible experience with pain and chills to deliver our tiny son,William. I held him wrapped in a blanket, and Pat and I shed tears at what could have been. It was winter and the ground was frozen...we took him home in a small box and put it in the freezer.. So hard to open it and face him and have the memories and tears come flooding me again. About two years later the same thing unexplainably happened... We lost Robert the same time and way... "It looks like his cord is fatally kinked." It was earth shattering to face another loss of a son and brother for John here on this earth... WE know that we have these children to be united with someday! These and the other 4 lost along the jounrney of our "nest". I feel that they were both the best and the worst years of my life! How I prayed that the Lord would give me one more child after John so that the world would see visible truth that "no, we were't just trying for our boy and that is why we ended up with 5 children! We were open to family!" Yet I am flooded with peace and even joy to know that all our children are with us whether here on earth and in heaven! I have named each of my children in heaven... Christopher lost between Ruth and Nancy, Thomas lost when my sister Mary died of Lymphoma in 1986, Joseph lost before John, William and Robert lost at 5 mo after John, and Mary lost at 3 1/2 mo in 1994. The prayer for them of their mother is a powerful experience for me as I remember them daily and many times feel that they are up there keeping me on the straight and narrow as much as possible. All I know is that I must need a lot of help to have that small spiritual army in heaven....

Journey towards trust

Heading to Sioux Falls two days after Father's day - John had an abnomal MRI - what can it be? Daisys from the ditch, Mary from the give away box at church represents her comforting us at this scarey time... the family pic taken the weekend before in St Paul... pasted in Susan as she was in France - yet we were united in spirit and soon Susan came to be with the family as we discovered that he had a "tumor" in his brain! Jesus we trust inYou!

John and his 4 sisters.... When asked the family he wants someday... "I want 4 girls and a boy!'

John surrounded by his loving older sisters... all 4 of them. "Mom, why don't I have any brothers?" Yet, he admits that he was very spoiled by his sisters! He considers them a blessing and now has brothers... two brother in laws... Paul and Joe... and fraternity brothers at Farmhouse Fraternity at the U of M! Now brothers and sisters are everywhere... and such an amazing support for John on the journey called cancer/healing.

"Eating their chin" out of love - Child for it's mother

Top Ruth being kissed by her daughter, Mary.... Jesus loved his Mother sooooooooo much!

Mary's perspective....

How can we ever suffer as much with our Lord as His Mother did?.... the "sword the pierced her heart"... so that she may support us and hold us close in those times of suffering in our lives... As a mother holds her young and gives it the unconditional nurturing love only a mother gives with all her heart and soul, with no thought to herself....

The five in 1991

Maria's first communion party... the 5 in a row... Ruth, Nancy,Maria, Susan and John

Thankful and prayerful for healing - John is cancer free!

Tuesday at Benediction - John basks in the forgiving loving presence of His Lord... the healing loving Great Physician! Jesus we trust in You! Feb 2010

All my children together in the more simple days!

A watercolor I did after I got an idea from a greeting card showing a mother on the hill with 3 girls and a cow.. made it my own by adding another daughter, a son and my own building site behind us.... someone asked later where Pat, my husband was so I added him on a horse going off to work the farm... Also added my 6 losses in the "cemetary"... it was nice to include all my children in this way.

A therapy painting after 5 losses

A watercolor I did with the 5 "boys" that I lost from 3mo pregnant to 5mo.. I wanted them all to be in some way touching me and that we would be together on a bench in heaven... later added a photo to represent the 6th loss

The five that we are blessed to have with us here... Six losses with us in Heaven - Family of 11!

Ruth, Nancy, Maria, Susan - Little Sister Hallel, and John

Our 9 precious grandchildren, with another one on the way

I got a call today from daughter number 3 that I needed to update my grandchildren picture - the number had doubled since... So here are the 9 together with Hallel when she visited in April. Ruth has 4 with another on the way - Simon age 8, Mary age 7, David soon to be 5, and Rose 13 months. Nancy has Augustine 2, and Bernadette 7 months. Maria has 3 children... Therese 5, David 3, and Patrick 8 months! So this is almost a complete picture except for Maria's two losses due to miscarriage, who are in heaven. We love all life we have been blessed with here and in heaven, and pray for each daily. Guardian Angels watch out for them. Jesus, we Trust in YOU.

New life on the farm

Calving begins in the Feb cold weather... first calf for this mother cow - we call it a first calf heifer

About Me

I am first and foremost a wife and mother. My husband,Pat, is a farmer in SW Minnesota... he is large on the crops and he also has over 100 cows that he calves out. I am a nurse, but was able to take 14 years off to raise my 5 children. I then returned to a hospice nurse position after my son, John, started school. I only work part time and keep busy with my family, a big garden with canning, yard work, involvement with my faith at the Catholic Church, and now grandkids living close by. I had the joy of watching my 3 grandkids while our oldest daughter worked half time as a nurse at the hospital in town. This past summer our lives were rocked when we discovered that our youngest, John, age 20 had a very rare form of brain cancer. Since Father's day... I have become his nurse and between his father and I... we have been with him for many different treatments in Rochester... the cancer is now in remission and we are hopeful to pick up life from here with all of us healthy and looking forward to many years ahead!

An interesting fact about the cows and calves in the pastures... Cow trails...

These two pairs are demostrating how they all walk in the same path or trail...If you look on the other side of the hill above them you can see a cow trail that they use on that side of the pasture. When you go out and walk in the pasture... you will see these paths that are very much used to the point that they are deep and there is no grass growing in them just like a well used people trail gets to be. On a very steep hill there can be teraces of many cow trails along the side where they will go single file like these two moms with their calves following along behind... I did see some of the calves get tired of the slow pace and run ahead, but it is obvious, when you see the trails,that the cows use them for the most part to get from one place in the pasture to another. How my husband loves to see them out there in the lush grass getting fat off of the grass that grows where no crops can due to the up and down land or the creeks that run through them and are also important for the cows and calves to get the water they need just like every living creature! My husband's idea of a romantic evening is to go out on the 4 wheeler or the pickup to look at the cows and calves in the 6 different pastures that we have! The kids have fond memories of going out to look at the cows in the back of the pickup - great vacation/family time!

It doesn't get much cuter than this - Ruth Ida Rose with a forever remembered baby kitty...

Ruth used this on her graduation card - so Ruthie as she was forvere an animal lover. She has a calmness about her that just makes animals comfortable. A few days ago she was out helping her dad and brother and I watched her kids... they both agreed that Ruth is good help out there with the cows and on top of it.. .. she enjoys her time out there... I think that I will watch the kids and Ruth can be out there from now on!

The Net team stops by as they come to the end of their year of serving Catholic Youth!

Our nephew, Sam Cross, has taken a year out of his life to work on the National Evagelical Team - they are Catholic Youth in their late teens and early 20s that travel the country in a van giving retreats to youth everywhere! Their homebase in St Paul, but they have traveled from coast to coast this last year and they themselves are from many places in the country and even a girl from Netherlands! In the picture Sam is standing all the way to the left by John. He lived with us a summer and learned about the farm and was in 4 H and FFA here. He showed cattle and pigs at the county fair and then went up to the State Fair with his projects and then worked in the Miracle of Birth barn for a couple of summers. Sam is a special nephew! He also has done many TEC retreats after he said yes to our request that he make a retreat and absolutely fell in love with TEC! Now he has taken it a step further in serving on this traveling retreat team with his guitar and wonderful joyful spirit... touching many youth along with the 10 youth that are on the team with him. Just before this picture was taken... Sam had given them rides back and forth on the loader to "see" the cows and farm scenes... Sitting to the far right of the tractor in the loader bucket is a girl from Minnesota named, Sarah. We struck up a conversation in the kitchen while I was cleaning up after the meal that we had shared... She started the conversation by asking me if I had always lived in Mn... I thought that I would wow her by starting off by saying; "No, actually I was born in Boston, Mass!" Her reply; "So was I!" That was a start of the most amazing give and take between us! We share so much in common and mostly I thought that she was probably me about 40 years ago when I was a new Catholic and so in love with EVERYTHING about the Catholic Church! She shared that her family of 4 girls and one boy and both of her parents converted from Episcopal to Catholic and why would you belong anywhere but the True Church!? ! Wow! I was blown away to meet someone on this long journey I have been on that is at the same place I was at that age! All of these youth are so amazing and I hope and pray and am really confident that they have touched deeply and positively many youth on their trek across the country! I asked the girl from Netherlands about the Catholic Church in her country... I have heard that it barely exists any more and she agreed that only the old attend church and otherwise those that are Catholic like her go with their families at EAster and Christmas... her friend told her that she would do the NET as she had done ahead of her and now a young person is returning to this country without God... filled with love and knowledge of her Church - Jesus and His Mother - It was a wonderful hour and a half and gave me so much hope for the Church and how the grassroots are strong and spreading our faith far and wide! Thank you Lord for all the work that is taking place in your church and please continue to use me and all those that are listening to and answering your call! Amen and Halleluia!

John the actor and his love of the stage and being in front of people - It was a fun ride!

This was John doing the "She thinks my tractor is attractive" skit for Arts In at the county fair in 4H a few years back... It is just so fun to see him in his element and it always amazed us to see how relaxed he was up there. Not like any of the rest of us! Now he hopes to take that love of the stage and put it along with his Ag background into some type of a job for his future... It will certainly be interesting to follow along and now with a year overcoming brain cancer and all that has meant for him... it has certainly taken him to a deeper and more compassionate place... We all await what the future will bring... Thank you John for all the FUN we have had following you as you share the joy with us on stage! It has been a fun ride! Jesus we know that you are in control of John's life and have a wonderful plan just for him! Jesus we trust in You!

Oh happy day! Another fun time with John...

First with a talent show at the Catholic School doing...Oh happy day from Sister Act and then again for 4 H share the fun... Finally with chior robes that we found at the Thrift store and with his sister, Maria, and cousins, Sam and Phil Cross... we enjoy the fun at Christmas camp. John even put it on for Easter when we went to visit Maria in the monastery. We shared a meal through the enclosure and John did the entertainment for all of us by putting on a chior robe and lip sincing.... Oh happy day for all of us... it was great entertainment that was good over and over!

He who follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life. Jn 8:12

I came across this inside of a long letter that our daughter, Maria, had written daily to share her experience with us as she went from a Poor Clare Monastery in Sauk Rapids, Mn to one close to Washington DC... It was so hard to think that she could go so far away to a cloistered monastery... where we would have to go and see her there and never get a hug as she would be in the "enclosure". It was to the point of her entering and the mother superior asked her to write a letter saying that this was the right thing for her to do... she couldn't write it and was back home! We were shocked and amazed! After saying goodbye to her life... she returned and embraced it! I will never forget her out helping put the cows and calves out to pasture and saying how wonderful it was to be out there... Now that was a miracle! So often on this journey we have been weak, depressed, scared and lost... The image of Jesus picking up the weak lost lamb is so often coming to me... This is wonderful to be able to share here with all of you that are upholding us in prayer!

A miracle! We make it to France in the midst of John's brain cancer and after a brain biopsy!

One of my favorite pictures from France...Susan helping John walk through the rain down a path at Saint-Pierre. They have always had a close relationship... Susan was 3 1/2 years older than John... I lost two pregnancies between them and it was never kept from the kids... we all grieved together at the losses. Susan was thrilled with her little brother from day one. She was constantly caring for him and watching out for him. We have a family story that Susan saved John's life... I will save that for a later date to share. John discovered in France that he could walk at a normal speed leaving his walker behind and having someone under his weak side. I think that he enjoyed the closeness also. We were in France and it was totally due to prayer!

The way of the cross - Cancer strikes our 20 year old son!

John at Lourdes with his two sisters... LS Hallel in the habit she had just received as a new member of the community of the Lamb and Nancy. From the back as they support their brother it looks like he is on the cross. After the news about two months earlier that he had brain cancer and then the ataxia on his left side as a result of the biopsy they had to do to diagnose it... It certainly a cross like no other we could have ever imagined! Beyond our wildest nightmares! Just the day before we left for France he was able to get to the bathroom by himself for the first time! We could go to France to see his sister join the community, and go to Lourdes and bath in the miraculous and healing waters under the watchful care of our most Blessed Virgin Mother of God... Mary Most Holy! John truly turned from a heavy heart to one of hope at this point in the journey.

Little Sister Hallel here for Thanksgiving and spent a week with John.

A group shot over at Ruth and Paul's place... Little Sister Hallel - Susan here for a week. Took John back and forth to radiation, and we then had a family Thanksgiving up in the Cities with her other two sisters that live in ST Paul... Getting ready to head back to Kansas City. That is where she is living for the next year in the only community here in the US... Community of the Lamb... pictured are from left to right... Paul Lanoue, Ruth Lanoue, Little Sister Hallel, her dad Pat and John Verly. In front Mary with her kitty Purrrrrrs.

The two Davids...

Great Grandma with both Davids after Sunday mass in her sunroom- Feb 21,2010

Our prayers rise like incense before you, Our Lord and Our God!

Benediction on Tuesday night.... Giving our Lord honor and praise and worship! We are in awe of you coming to us in the humble form of bread... as it is transformed into your Body... food that gives us the strength to follow your example and embrace the cross in our lives! Jesus we trust in You! We honor and adore you now and forever! Amen