About Me

I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

SATURDAY #2756

Did you notice that every black person killed by police are always described as perfect citizens?

It was stated that this is his arrest record.

I did some research, and sure enough, each one was documented.That does not mean he deserved to die. I just don't like bullshit. He was a man you would not want on your front porch.And then there's this...

That's how fast it happens and you have to react faster.I also want to know the history of those two police officers' history. Have they abused their power before. Have they displayed any signs of racism. Let's get it all on the table.> I listened to the entire interrogation of the head of the FBI by Congress.

There was this gem...

The uproar about the "jewish" star was a crock of shit.

>My money is on France, but I am fearful.

>Conservatives after a mass shooting: "You can't take our guns!"Conservatives after a police shooting: "But he had a gun!"I'm confused.

>

ABOUT DOGS

How cute...>

GROWING TINY LITTLE TREES

Grown and shaped by one of the most famous bonsai artists in the world master Kunio Kobayashi. Said to be the most expensive bonsai tree.

6 generations of the Yamaki family have grown and shaped this 388 year old Japanese White Pine bonsai.

1000 year old Ficus Bonsai tree

This Japanese Maple tree was created by famous European Bonsai artist Walter Pall. This maple is almost a meter high, which is the maximum to be called a bonsai. This tree is over 100 years old.

>Orange Julius is the third best thing to happen to oranges behind mimosas and the "orange you glad I didn't say banana" knock knock joke.

>I posted that for my love of the absurd.

>Pay attention... But this rule DOES NOT apply when stopping at a red light. You stupid bastards need to close the gap between you and the car in front of you, not still keeping your four car lengths safety spacing. Please.

>

LET'S TALK DICKS

And here it is... Wouldn't you love to have heard his explanation as to why he did such a thing?

Now that woman understands relationships!

Yeah, you bring these back and we will all see all the dicks we want...

>Sometimes I wonder if Einstein's friends were ever able to say "nice work, Einstein" without sounding sarcastic.

>

GROCERY STORE ODDITIES

Ran into this on our roadtrip to Georgia. See anything even slightly odd?

Here's a close-up...My wife thought the notion of a "Family Pack" of beer very funny...but it was Georgia after all.

Watch carefully...I would take that fish home, buy a huge aquarium and let it live out its last days in peace.

Shit you don't see every day at the Wynn Dixie...

>Had several long talks with my American friends and I agree with them that soccer will never really catch on here until that get rid of all the fakery...

With that said, I know there are real injuries, like this guys' knee, but 99% of it is just whining.And with that said, the Americana Copa final between Argentina and Chile was brutal. Those guys beat the holy shit out of each other.

>I'm not much in favor of so many people wasting so very much time trying to kill aliens and such in video games (it's called escapism), but this is a sure fire way to get old people to exercise.

>Sue from work says putting zucchini in her brownie makes it incredibly moist. I told Sue I've had similar successes.

>

FOREIGNERS

Zombie avoidance at its finest...Remember, I'm the guy who would have thought of sleeping in a tree the very first night. Before hand I would have attached a rope from my chosen tree to and adjoining tree as tight as possible. Then when the zombies gathered at the base of my tree I could wrap my belt around the rope and slid out of harm's way far enough to run away.

And how come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie?

A farmer in India released 3 sacks full of 40 snakes in a government office where officials asked for bribe.I know that their is bribery in America, but not even close to what is going on in other countries. Then I laugh when US corporations learn how to play their game and pay off the foreign officials to be able to build their factory, then are investigated by their own US government.

> >Here is another person with that special operation. As I understand it, this option is only available for a very special malady. I think, but not sure, that it is bone cancer of the lower leg. Anybody?

>

FLYING THINGS

>Yoga? No thank you. I'll download an app to my phone so I don't have to stretch for the remote.

>

>Good question.Remember, I'm the guy that says a drug dealer is the perfect capitalist. Find a need and fill it at an exorbitant profit.

>Look at these shapes carefully...

North Pole of Saturn...

And...

>My wife was so excited that she submitted a tweet to Twitter, and they accepted it and put it on their website!

>

MEN SCREWING UP

I have built a lot of stuff and I'm here to tell you that doing that is easier than one would think.

This on the other hand...

And even really smart men aren't that smart... Volvo auto brake system live test on live executives.Can you imagine Volvo letting that video out?

Hotel valet crashes Lamborghini.

> [spelling bee]Your word is 'arrogance.'"Can you use it in a sentence?"Of course I can, don't be stupid.

>Even rednecks have really, really good ideas sometimes.

>Wait for it...Another one that is fake as my wife's orgasms...

>I have a thing for the power of lava...Fence didn't stand a chance.

> Milling a log using an alaskan millI bet with a gig similar to that you could do that with hand tools. But to be honest, that is one fast motherfucker!

>TokyoWhy do they have the crosswalk lanes marked off if hardly anybody uses them?

>That's also true about war and soldiers. But I also think that if the citizens of the world would stop glorifying dead and wounded soldiers, there would be no more wars.

And if this is true is pretty much saying all you other smucks are dispensable...