Sunday, May 12, 2013

feelings, people.

hey there,
i would like to share with emotions. I think it is a good day to say something warm to my family and best friends. It will be very personal, but here it is the only place where i can write everything to everybody, so it wont be to "show myself" or something, this post will have nothing in common with my description and life in Colombia. or maybe? actually it is. People, who dont know me, people who have never experienced feelings as I do may not understand and judge as "too private" post. BUT people who were exchange students and still have feelings to the people there, will know what i feel now.

so here is a little bit about my second home, second family..

My dear family, friends..
I dont know how to start this post. Maybe from the words that i am crying writting this, or maybe from this how much i love you all...each of you made my life different, because of you i became happier person. Everything has happend so suddenly. I havent realized when i fall in love with Colombia, when I found this happiness, which is totally different than I have in Poland. each of you are and will be very special person for me, forever. its 01.20am, i am laying in my bed, looking around my room, looking at my wall with photos of you all and title " home is whenever i am with you" , looking at Colombian flag, which you all signed, reading all those letters you wrote for me, looking for all those pictures we took together. it is amazing having this kind of people, who keep you happy everyday because of 14 000 km of distance. despite of not everyday talking, even not weekly.. i think of you everyday. everyday i think what my Colombian Siblings are doing, which picture Cristina is taking now, Which crazyness Hugo and Pacho have done, what Mariana has tumbrled, how is Rodizio, how is Juan Martin, what my "locas tias" are doing,what feel new exchange students in Cucuta, if they wanna go home or not...????? there are so many thoughts everyday and so little time to call everybody everyday and ask. During everyday i am trying to concentrate on my school and everyday life. Deeply, inside me I am trying to hide this missing to Colombia, to my grandfathers, Sandra and her family and to everybody which are there for me ! You have no even idea what i can give for at least one dream of you all, to see you all, hug you all and say how much i miss you. i've realized how much saying our feelings is important and now i am dreaming to say mines.
I dont know when i will come to Colombia again. It can be in August, December or even next year June, everything is up to school and my daily things which i can not leave.
I would like to say thank you and I love you,
for Luz Nelly and Jorge, my host parents 2. who were always caring about me, who were always making my days better and better, who showed me theirs family and let me belong to them. I will never forget those Jorge's jokes, my dear 24h working Luz Nelly. I want you to know that you are perfect parents, dont change. I know I should talk with you bit more when I was there, but i trurly believe that we could understand with each other with no words, smile and look was enough to know everything.
for my siblings, Silvia, Sergio, Chiqui- without you guys this family wouldnt be perfect as it is. Silvia, your love with Luis R, love to your 2 children, which one-Juan is bigger and bigger and the second one which you are carring - it is amazing, you are strong, independent woman who will always win, but actually you have arleady won- Luis R and love and I see you happy in it.
Chiqui- I dont have to write much, you arleady now everything, I just feel and compare you to my Polish brother, you did everything for me during our time together. now when i am remembering miami and our "fights"... ouh, i would give everything to get back there. I loved waiting for you 8478 hours or I loved going out school at 7am seeing you in pool still partying.
Sergio: you have this knowledge, you were always very reasonable and funny. what i remember the most about you? watching with you movie" tan fuerte tan cerca" I dont really know why this, but you made a special impression on me. and another one.. our long talking in Cartagena, remember?
all tias and tios locos maybe we havent spent time with each other everyday, but without you all my life in this family wouldnt be as it was (is) its like you all create family.. and without one person it is not the same. you all have to be together, because you are like puzzle. when one piece is missing, then its not whole picture :)

grandma, grandfather, Sandra, Daniela, Laura, Luis E. I started with you my exchange, my first, the most difficult months were with you. You know me the longest and I am grateful to you for everything. You were always available for me, 24h, everything was done immedietaly to help me, to make everything easier. I am very happy you came to Poland and met my family, this meeting was magical for my mom. you did not talk with each other all nights long, but the energy which you gave my family was unforgettable. When my mom came to Colombia, abuela as much as abuelo did enormous thing for her, which she will never fortget. My mom was in Colombia 16 days. She could fall in love, thats why she understands me the most, how i feel. i would like to say thank you, because she does it ( understands me) because of your family and your time which you gave her.

Cristina, Mariana, Hugo, Pacho, Renzo, Gabriela, Diego, Nicolas, Alejandra, Daniela we spent time almost everyday at school or after( besides Renzo and Daniela who left us to discover EU, whatever)we spent the best parties in my life together. we spent sad and happy moments. the day i think the most important of our relationship was during my goodbye party. the day before and day after. during this 3 days, i understood that you are as important as my host families. I remember moments when i was wondering about our friendship. is it friendship? or am i just exchange student, who is fun and after my come back to Poland we wont have any contact, that another, new exchange student fill replace me. i remember when my polish friends were saying that i am just a new "toy" for you because i am european as much as philipine girl in our town. but i remember my conversation with Hugo, when he told me words i will NEVER forget which was " you belong to us, no matter if you are here or in Poland" after Mariana wrote me " together forever never apart, maybe in a distance but not in a heart" i am pretty sure you dont even remember that you said that but those words made me special for you, not only exchange students. Cristina, with you.. I survived roller coaster, really.. i remember my tears, my smiles and crazy stuff. i remember our first "official" go out with Jairo, you exactly know how i felt. remember? Diegito- to sum up my time in Colombia in december and my last year.. i can even say that you and your family could be my third host family, because of my being at your house with you, Sissal almost everyday.. ok, everyday:) you know what was the nicest words you have ever told me? " You are the only one female friend who is really friend" that was the most important words during all my staying in CO in december.
Nicolas- you have changed my exchange dude, like really. we have been talked about it million times so i dont have to describe here anything more. the nicest thing about you? january 2012, after my come back from Cartagena to Bogota, remember? : ) i dont want to add nothing more about you, because you exactly know what i want to say.
Alejandra, Daniela.. with you my girls i didnt spend much time, but enough to see your beautiful personality. Alejandra.. remember my tshirt POLOCA loca? btw, i have to find it and start wearing it because finally in Poland we have SPRING, that means SNOW IS OVER , yay. Daniela- when you will done with reading this, text me on whatsapp, I will send you something.
Pacho, Hugo OMG I FEEL SICK when i am "remembering" our APPLE on Hugo's balcoon. ekhmm remembering??
Renzo and Gabriela & Alejandra: just one word, Bogota. and Renzo's apartament, make up, Renzo and Gabriela are totally the best make up makers. !!!
Mariana Y- remember about TUMBRL :) i am your biggest fan:) and your gift for me from nyc, it very often on me :) the thing with you? I guess the day after my goodbye party. you, me hugo,pacho, cris, jairo, nicolas, mariana S in pizza gourment. during this 2 hours you all showed all this love to me.

and I think these persons are in my "the most important people in my life" group. thank you for everything, i hope we will meet soon and we can all make party as huge as it was during my goodbye party in piso7, but then it wont be recorded by 600 people but by national tv :))))) I love my crazyness with you, Cant wait to hug you all and smile, feel this cucutenan calor.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK MY SIBLINGS SILVIA, CHIQUI, SERIGIO, DANIELA, LAURA TO TRANSLATE ALL THIS TO YOUR PARENTS AND GRANDFATHERS. PLEASE, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR ME TO KNOW THAT THEY KNOW WHAT I WROTE :) thank you.
I love you all,
NS

I wrote it, it took me hour and i wanted to delete all this after i felt better.. but then i thought why the world shouldnt know about ex exchange student, who is not careless of the people which met there?

I would like to tell you in next post about some very famous painter. Colombian of course. his pictures are even on my notebooks and wallpapers. Fernando Botero- you know?