Friday, January 7, 2011

David Blatter is after my job!

I don't have any evidence of that, but just look at this copy from his site:

"Currently he is working on an effect which involves a guitar, a sparkletts bottle, a deck of cards, and a blind-fold-wrap your mind around that combination for a minute. Don't you want to find out what happens?"

Okay, three things:

1. That's funny.

2. That sounds just like something I would write. Except maybe slightly funnier. In fact, his site is full of idiosyncratic witticisms and quirky self-deprecation! It's exactly what I would write if I were him. And if I could be him, that means he could be me!

3. I, um, only actually had those two things. I just like to do lists of three items. It's kind of my thing.

On one hand, I'm pleased that we have Mr. Blatter lined up as a guest. On the other hand, I'm chronically paranoid and insecure, and I can't shake the feeling that he is somehow here to replace me. I mean, think about it he does magic; he could make disappear and nobody would ever know how he did it!

Don't believe me? Just look! He has powers, eerie, eerie powers!

Well, those of you who want to find out exactly what Blatter plans to do with that blind-fold can come on down and check him out LIVE, JANUARY 15TH, 4pm, AT THE BOXCAR STUDIOS, 125A HYDE STREET IN SAN FRANCISCO!

I'll be there. And I'll be keeping a close eye on our guest. Your mastery of the Dark Arts doesn't frighten me, Blatter! Because I sleep with a totem made from a petrified snake and some garlic bulbs under my pillow, and it will repel your evil mojo! I'm this close to challenging you to a wizard's duel right there on the set, so don't toy with me!