We look (and judge) at the cover of a book and already form our own assumptions on what the book is about based on the title.

I need a title! I've been wracking my brain for the past few days because I thought I was "done," with my title. As I continue to look over it and keep adding to it......the more the title no longer "fits."

"Beliefs of the Brokenhearted" was my first title....and then I put so much more anger about Preeclampsia that I changed it to, "Preeclampsia can SUCK it." And then I kept writing and eventually, I realized that I was "stuck in a forest" of all these feelings of hurt, anger, fear and so the title became, "My Postpartum Forest."

And now I just wrote a poem, my 44th in this mismash memoir....and it's called "beliefs of the brokenhearted." And so now we're back to the beginning....except I haven't quite settled on it.

Ironically, picking out titles came easy for me. It was one of the first things that I write down. What about you, my friend? How's your work coming along? Have you picked and settled on a title?

I wish I had taken the time to document the road to publication with my first book. Or even the work that I did for the recently released anthology. But, oh well. This is me "documenting" this book - that has gone through so many titles and changes now. For now, it is a mishmash of journal entries and a mini short story and 41 total poems.

So what happens when you "think" you are done? Well, first you celebrate. Wahoo!!! And then you go into google search mode. The next few days, I will continue to fine tune what I can but at the same time, I'll be on the hunt for an Editor. The editor will tell me if my manuscript is1.) "good"2.) makes sense3.) will edit grammar, spelling, etc.4.) offer up any and all constructive criticism to make this manuscript "good."BUT, while I'm on the hunt, I'll be doing just a couple of research on the side. I've never self published before and I know next to nothing about what it all entails. (My first novel was picked up by a small traditional indie press, Limitless Publishing). So, I picked up a book to help me. I chose this one because I decided to join a local writer's guild, and if I have any questions, I can always ask the author at the meeting! Score. Speaking of guilds, I'll eventually have to show up and ask for their critiques on this manuscript. Maybe they'll get a sense of what I'm hoping for and what I need to change. ​

I also may add some more of my poems on Instagram or Twitter - as that seems to be where the poets are, and I've gotten some feedback.

So, if you finished your manuscript, congrats!!! The road ahead is long and steep, my friend. But I'll be here with you on your climb! ​

Hello there, friend. May is tough for me. May is Preeclampsia Awareness Month and I am reminded of both my birth stories. I am reminded of my premature babies and their first days (and weeks) spent in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). May is also Mental Health Awareness Month and again, I remember both my weaknesses and strengths as a mother dealing with tiny babies, and the internal fight that no one else saw.

I am humbled and grateful for the experiences, but everyday I have to remind myself to take care of me at some point throughout the day. One way I "self care" is by writing. I write and cry. Then write some more. Eventually, I believe that my pain will just transfer itself to words on pages. I did this a few weeks ago and submitted a couple of letters to this particular anthology called, Letters of May. It is a collection of letters from different pains and different heartaches, but with the hopes that you understand what someone is going through in the pits of their depression or chains of their psychosis, and fight with mental illness. It's available for free now but eventually, all proceeds will go to a mental health charity. And as soon as I know, I'll be sure to update you on my site!

So this month is a little different. This month, I'd like to spread a little bit of awareness for these two causes dear to my heart.

I'll be doing a virtual walk this month to raise money for Preeclampsia. If you feel it in your heart to donate, visit the link above and look for the donate button. If you want to follow my blog, go to www.tuallaleila.blogspot.com for Life after Preeclampsia.