help with diff changes ?????????????????

ok getting a 2002 tacoma with 6'' lift and 315/75R16 tires it has stock gearing with a v-6 truck has 123,000 on it well im going to upgrade the gears to either 4;11 or 4;56 im going to tow jet skis and be on the highways just wanted to know what your thoughts were on the best i think 4;11s and if you guys know a good place what kind gears u want with and prices and kit neeeded to to do the installs ??? thanx im in south jersey near philly pa other question the guy @ the 4x4 shop not to change gears since the front diff is weak if i change the gears the pion will be smaller and when i put it in 4x4 it wilkl snap the ring gear ??????? i have a bo3a code is that a stock gearing 4;10 ?