Jonty and Camzy, co-managers of Germany would like to thank Herr Barzagli, who for the last two weeks has single handedly kept us in this competition. It was a nail biter last night, with Jonty’s captaining of the Italian defender the only option to overturn the might of Poland. When Barzagli’s yellow card came in it looked bleak again for Germany, but thankfully he went on to rack up the recovered ball points and end Poland’s dreams by just two points. Germany have a solid track record of outrageous jamminess, having qualified from group B with the lowest joint score. Croatia awaits, but can this tiny, unusually flagged nation really be a match for the sheer outrageous flukability of Germany.

Here's the presser:

Q: First off, tell us how you managed to progress to this stage?A: We’re not gonna lie, we, Germany, have been very lucky to progress this far. As the lowest joint point scorers in the group stage, we were fortunate to play teams every match day who had off games. That said, we were unlucky match day 2 against Netherlands to incur a loss after leading going into the last few minutes, ultimately losing the tie by 3 points to a Welbeck goal. On the flip side, we did get a huge stroke of luck from our player of the tournament, Barzagli, who returned 14 points for us in consecutive rounds which has been the difference between an early elimination and a semi-final place.Q: Tell us more about Barzagli and his influence on your team’s performance?A: It all started in match day 3. After news filtered through about Bonucci and Maggio’s place in the Italy defense coming under threat, we both opted to pick Barzagli as Italian defensive coverage, with Jonty making his one free transfer the straight swap of Bonucci > Barzagli. It turned out to be an inspired move, as Barzagli returned 7 points, netting the team 14, and giving us a big enough cushion on the final day to see off the challenge of Denmark. Impressed by his performance, we turned to our big man again, picking him in both our QF teams despite Italy playing on the last day. This time, we found ourselves in an even more precarious situation. 13 points behind going into the final day, and with only Barzagli’s points to come which our opponents couldn’t match. We faced near certain elimination. Jonty pulled out his final card, the captaincy armband, and thrust it on Barzagli as a desperate last measure. Even then, there was only one plausible way we could pull off the win. Barzagli needed to return at least 7 points while Pirlo and Welbeck could not pick up any offensive returnsIt looked like team Germany had done it again come the 80th minute. With the game deadlocked, and no goals scored from either side, Barzagli sat on 7 points after picking up 8 recovered balls, netting us 21 overall points, enough to win the match… Of course, it wouldn’t be much fun if it stayed that way, and in the 84th minute, Barzagli received what could have been a match losing yellow card. Suddenly, our points dropped from 21 to 18, and a 2 point victory was turned into a devastating 1 point loss. But Barzagli like the hero he is knuckled down and recovered 5 more balls in the extra period to give us the 3 points we needed to inch ourselves into the semi-final.Q: So what now for Germany? What are your plans for taking on unbeaten Croatia in the next round?A: It’s about giving our all, taking the time to scout our opponents TommyTour and SuperDunny. They are a great team, and they have the most impressive FPL rank as well coming into the tournament, we are undoubtedly the underdogs, but anything is possible. We also work very well as a team, always willing to pick and captain players who complement each other in order to give ourselves the best chance of success.Q: How much does winning the FFS Euro Cup mean to you?A: Well at the moment we’re still trying to take it match by match and see how it goes. Obviously, it’s our ultimate ambition to win the cup. The gloating rights on offer would be incomparable, and getting acknowledged as the jammiest team to ever win would be so satisfying. However, there’s still a long way to go, and we’re not going to get ahead of ourselves. We just have to keep working together and put in the effort needed for these last two match days and hopefully see us through to victory.