Another day, another couple of snivelling MPs apologising for their behaviour.

Nadhim Zahawi is sorry he was making us taxpayers foot the bill for electricity for his stables business.

Nadine Dorries is sorry for not revealing how much she got paid for her toe-curling stint in I’m a Celeb.

But what exactly are they sorry for?

Oh yes. Themselves.

They’re sorry they got caught. They couldn’t give two hoots about the rest of it.

Sven is not the only one who is dodgy

Three irrefutable signs that a fella is dodgy... 1) He wears a white dressing gown (even if he’s not in hospital), 2) he combs his hair more than once a day, and most critically 3) he is rude about ex-girlfriends.

All of which we find Sven Goran Eriksson guilty of, according to the tale of his latest betrayed lover.

But more fool those women like her who join in ridiculing their exes – it’s only a matter of time until they join the list.

They say art mirrors life.

Hollywood's war against common sense

At other times, art dumps a dirty great load of manure on life – and death.

This week it was the turn of Hollywood filmmakers whose thoughtlessness or stupidity had them filming scenes from a Nazi war movie as the sun rose on Remembrance Sunday in an Oxfordshire village.

Only surpassed by that prize idiot Tom Cruise who compared being away from his daughter Suri with serving in Afghanistan.

What they say - What they MEAN

What Miley Cyrus said:

Last night was a blurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

What she meant:

Yeh, and in case no one saw me in that cafe or at the big awards in Amsterdam I smoked lots and lots of actual marijuana cigarettes, real proper drugs, actual illegal ones, inhaling and everything... so there.”