What to do when the universe hasn't delivered... everything you ever wanted

SIMPLE, SENSIBLE, SCIENTIFICALLY SUPPORTED SELF HELP

The Real Secretis a different kind of self help. We debunk the empty promises of so many books and DVDs and bring you a simple, sensible approach to real life fulfillment. We don't believe you can achieve happiness, or anything else, by simply wishing for, thinking about or visualising it. Our book - and this blog - takes only the best of what really works and turns it into a positive, practical 12-step programme that will enable you to take control of your life and raise your happiness levels.

2/15/2011

Have you ever wondered why people who are already contented and confident seem to get all the best breaks, have the most satisfying relationships, seem to enjoy more fun and exciting lives? It seems so unfair when they’re not necessarily better at their jobs, nicer people or more deserving than you. Yet they get what they want out of life, achieve their goals and feel at ease with themselves in a way that often manages to escape you.

It’s not that they’re happy and fulfilled because they have all those things. Long term research has shown that it’s entirely the other way round: happy people have better relationships, more successful careers, earn more money, maintain closer links with friends and family and savour life more. So the best way to join the ranks of the successful and satisfied is simply to get happy. These days we’re all discovering that sustainable satisfaction and success is not simply about earning and spending loads of money; it’s about reaching for the real sources of human happiness and ensuring that we keep in touch with those things that bring us true joy and fulfilment.

Some of us are born with a higher happiness “set point” than others, but we can all improve on the hand we were born with and the cards life has dealt us so far. Some of us have to deal with more knock backs and difficulties than others, but these are not an obstacle to leading a happy life – indeed, they can actually help us achieve it. So if you are feeling a little defeated at the moment, take heart; we’re here to help.

"Success is being yourself at your very best"

John Garnett, industrial campaigner (1921 – 1997)

If you manage to cope with repeated failure and go on to achieve success, you have what psychologists call “self-efficacy”. People with high levels of self-efficacy do not give up easily; they believe they have it in themselves to achieve their goals.When you believe in your own power to exercise control over your life, you are healthier, more effective and more successful. People who believe they are capable approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered, rather than as threats to be avoided. They are invariably successful – and you will be too.

So happy people are successful and successful people have high levels of self-efficacy.

The Real Secretis going to help you become increasingly self-efficacious, successful and happy by asking you to undertake a series of Steps to form Habits of happiness, most of which are not hard at all, but require focus and commitment. They are all do-able, even if you find some more difficult than others. Once you have mastered them, you will have increased your levels of self-efficacy. You will have proved to yourself that you are capable and can effect change in your life.