Being Ken is as Hard as Being Barbie: Why Body Image is a Male Problem, Too

Some so-called feminists would have us believe that “body image” is an almost exclusively female problem. It isn’t. Men face an equal, and perhaps greater, challenge measuring up to today’s physical standards.

"James Bond always mistrusted short men. They grew up from childhood with an inferiority complex."

— Goldfinger, Ian Fleming

The Sex Positive community has a 400lb elephant sitting in the living room – that too much rhetoric is accepted as “fact” within the sex positive community even though they deserve to be aggressively and unequivocally challenged.

One such trope is the claim that “body image affects women more than men.”

Even as the community has agreed that men have to live up to impossible standards of modern beauty in much the same way women do (normal men don’t have six packs, for example, but every male fashion model does), we’re still pressured to qualify this statement with a disclaimer: “But, obviously, body image is much more of a problem for women.”

But you know what? No more.

I’m going to come out and say it: Body image is just as much of a problem for men as it is for women; perhaps even more so. Ask any man and eventually – when you get beneath the bravado – most will lay it out for you. Men are pressured from an early age to measure up to physical standards, and it can have a devastating effect on our lives and self-esteem if we feel that we fall short. And unlike female physical standards, it’s about something much more than “beauty.”

Look at it this way. Wives and girlfriends across America accuse us men of being “cavemen,” but there’s a fundamental truth to that. Stick a bunch of men in a room together and always, without fail, there will be an instant appraisal of the “competition.” In any male social gathering, a “pecking order” is soon established, with an alpha male at the top and the rest of the room vying for their position beneath him.

Like it or not, 90% of this “pecking order” is related to body image. This is why body image is a much more important issue for men than it is for women.

When it comes to male body image, there are three major areas of concern. The first is size.

With regard to height, you don’t have to take my word for it. There are a hundred different studies published that show taller men are always favored in life. You talk about “male privilege” and “white privilege”? How about you look into “6 feet or taller” privilege?

Need proof? How about that every presidential election for the last quarter century has gone to the taller candidate? If you’re wondering about 2000 – when 5’11” Bush beat 6’1” Gore – remember that Al Gore won the popular vote, even though he lost the electoral one.

The fact is, being a short guy sucks, and is a major body image issue that has had devastating effects on millions of men’s self-esteem. The fact that “short man syndrome” has even earned itself a name is proof of that. How many short men do you know who are accused of “over-compensating” for their height? Just look at this quote from Ian Fleming’s book Goldfinger:

“James Bond always mistrusted short men. They grew up from childhood with an inferiority complex. All their lives they would strive to be big - bigger than the others who had teased them as a child. Napoleon had been short, and Hitler. It was the short men that caused all the trouble in the world.”

Even though I’m 6’, I’ve learned never to get on the wrong side of a business deal or fight with a short man. What they lack in height, they make up for in determination.

While we’re on the subject of size, what about physical size? Feminists always argue that “fat is a feminist issue,” but as with so many other areas, they’re barking up the wrong tree. You really want to know about body image issues? Try being a fat man.

Fat men aren’t just ridiculed because they’re seen as physically unattractive. For a guy, the ridicule extends to questioning their very masculinity itself. Men are judged on their physicality. Fat men have curves, and “man boobs,” and other physical characteristics that are often mocked and derided for being “feminine.”

I know, firsthand, what a difference a few pounds makes. I used to be 40lbs heftier than I am today, and over the course of the year in which I dropped the pounds through diet and exercise, I was utterly astonished at the way in which people starting treating me differently.

If we’re taught as children not to judge a book by its cover, it’s clear that dictate didn’t cover the “large” print editions.

There are countless other examples. I’ve read blogs and articles about men afflicted by “micropenis” (an abnormally small penis) who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. At the gym, I meet men who use steroids and supplements to build engorged racks of muscles, despite the health risks of such extreme body building. Just look in the back of a men’s magazine and you’ll see as many ads for plastic surgery and supplements as you will in the back of Cosmopolitan.

Feminists might not agree, but the truth is that men are under just as much pressure to “conform” to standards as women are. In many ways, these standards are more stringent and dangerous because they’re not just limited to what makes a man “attractive,” but how a man identifies himself, and his social ranking amongst his peers.

“Body image” being an exclusively female problem is just one of many sex-positive stereotypes that are totally inaccurate – and it’s about time some of us in the community started challenging the idea.

Comments

I agree to a point. YES body image is ABSOLUTELY a HUGE issue for men, no question. I have an underweight brother who has fought to reach 110lbs since he was 16, and one a good day, makes it there. I also have a brother under 5'9, and I know how he is treated, I have seen it first hand. Some of my best friends are overweight/obese males... and I know how they feel about themselves.

On the other hand, the pecking order you described, that occurs in female circles too. Immediately. The difference is that it is not acknowledged verbally, and everybody is trying to pretend it isn't happening. But they all stay in line. TRUST ME.
Finding suppliment/hormone and plastic surgery ads in the back of BODY BUILDING magazines, whos main focus is the physical appearance of the body? Not surprising. Finding multiple plastic surgery, and body enhancement ad's in teen magazines such as Seventeen, Sassy and Cosmo Girl? These magazines are first of all not SUPPOSED to be focussed on appearance, but fun things like fashion, entertainment, lifestyle and relationship advice etc.
Did you know that an incredibly large number of women grow facial hair, resembling peach fuzzy and sometimes even prickly beards and mustaches? When was the last time you saw a woman with facial hair? Women are incredibly concerned with the appearance of their vaginas, and not only the physical appearance, but the inner size and shape as well! There are absolutely women who are depressed and suicidal over the size and shape of their labia..... but like men suffering from the microphallus, they aren't likely to discuss it with anybody.

Amen! I struggled as a teenaged girl with body issues. I was skinny, flat chested and weighed about 90lbs until the age of 21, Everyone I know cannot believe that I every had "problems" with my body image because I was skinny. Well I have news for people EVERYONE can have a body image problem men included!

In fact we put as much pressure on men as we do on women. We women complain about being bombarded with images of skinny, busty women how do you think a guy feels when everywhere he turns there is an image of some guy with 2% body fat, ripped arms and a stomach you could use to do your laundry on? C'mon ladies it's time to admit we do exactly the same thing to men that we accuse them of doing to us, lets put on the big girl panties and admit it then give your guy a kiss and remind him that you love him for exactly what he is

02/22/2012

William Morton

What you ladies ignore that it is a statistical fact that fat men are far more likely to experience violence because of their fat. There is a pecking order.

Also the biggest problem that fat men face are fat women who constantly marginalize the experiences of fat men.

02/22/2012

William Morton

Also I do not understand why so many women seem unable to describe the body bias/shame they receive without marginalizing the body bias/shame that men receive, as if there is a finite supply of body of body issues out there.

Once again it become incredibly clear for all your whining about feminism you still have no clue what actually feminist theory looks like (Spoiler: they are not the imagery straw feminists that live in your head).

because they’re not just limited to what makes a man “attractive,” but how a man identifies himself, and his social ranking amongst his peers.

The short breakdown of Roland 's latest BS:
Roland straw feminist: female body image theory is just about what makes a women "attractive"

Actual feminist theory: "Body image is not limited to what makes a women "attractive", but how a women identify herself, and her social ranking amongst her peers"

Male Privilege Roland Keeps Refusing to Acknowledge: I repackage a stereotypes about male and female properties while ignoring women saying this is exactly what they been going through for years and call it insight and critical thinking.

02/23/2012

William Morton

I do not agree with a lot that is said in this article but it is right about the fact that so many women focus on marginalizing and discounting the negative body issues that men have and often speak as if they have absolute knowledge on the experiences of men.

I don't mean to disagree that body imagine issues in men aren't woefully understudied and acknowledged. My point is that Roland rant goes far beyond drawing attention to that, he as he has repeatedly done, turned a complex issue in to a over simplified anti-feminist diatribe. Feminist theory on body image doesn't stop as Roland implies at attractive

oppp hit enter early. Nor is this troupe limited to feminists. How come he never once calls out psychologists or sociologists for spreading this idea, if he is right they need to be called out just as much. He does this because feminism is an easy target if he said most so-called sociologists are barking up the wrong tree, it whould be a lot harder for him to look credible.

namelesschaos - I'm hesitant to feed your obvious trolling, but feel I ought to clarify that I am criticizing feminists regarding this issue because when it comes to a discussion about body image, they're largely the first ones to hit the brakes and insist that the conversation only continues with the explicit agreement that "it's much worse for women." I personally don't think it is "much worse" for women; and to your point about body image not being boiled down to what's "attractive" or not, body image is a concept that I believe is MUCH more complex for men. In fact, attractiveness is one of the lesser issues - heterosexual women are generally more sophisticated about what is and isn't "attractive" in a man and most of the issues I've highlighted involve how body image affects men in other ways that you seem delightfully oblivious of.

namelesschaos -- I beg to differ on your point that he's saying feminism is about body image only affects how attractive women are. He specifically mentions how being tall, slim and traditionally attractive affects everyone's ability to get the job they want or to be taken seriously in society. I think you frequently stop paying attention to what Roland says because the second he says anything negative about feminism, you don't want to hear it. He's not always right, but he does make some excellent points to consider.

Roland -- Great piece. I will mention that there is one curious thing about this entire manliness issue, and that is television. While we do see muscled up models and such, it's common to see an older, fat or average looking man with a much younger and more attractive female lead.

Your argument would be significantly more forceful if you hadn't argued for degree. You argue that "Body image is just as much of a problem for men as it is for women; perhaps even more so." Why try to one-up women? Why not just say, "Body image is a problem for men, too." This isn't a contest; don't turn it into one.

I agree with you whole-heartedly that men struggle with gender roles and beauty norms, but there's no value in arguing over who has it worse. I read your column because I'm a gender theorist and I need to keep tabs on what folks are saying about gender, but as a reader, I find myself dismissing your arguments as petty when you engage in this "WAH IT'S WORSE FOR US" business. That's a shame, too, because the meat of your argument is valuable and interesting.