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November 28, 2016

I have a lot to thank my mom for, but I’d wager
that my general avoidance of sweets is one of them. It’s not that I have anything against candy
(except chocolate, because I’m secretly history’s greatest monster), but I don’t
go out of my way to get my hands on it.
Same goes for stuff like cake and ice cream; honestly, a few weeks ago I
had Pop-Tarts for the first time in years.
As a result, I’ve never known the pain of cavities. Likewise, I’d imagine that axing the most
heinous of food groups has helped me keep my figure svelte and lithe -- and not
at all comparable to a skin-clad sack of bones.

Still, I know the taste of sweets. I know the effect. There are just some foods out there that are
pure bliss in edible form; I’d count a warm blueberry muffin among them, for
example. Will eating sweets lead to
regret later? Possibly. Probably, if they aren’t eaten in
moderation. On the other hand, sometimes
you just have to indulge and take in whatever you can get. Sometimes you just have to spoil yourself.

That’s what Tales
of Zestiria does for me. Because the
more I think about it, the more I realize I’m absolutely in love with this game.

November 24, 2016

That’s kind of a dirty question, because according
to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure as we
know it, you don’t get to choose your Stand.
It’s a reflection of you. Granted
that reflection tends to be tailor-made to suit the Stand user
personality-wise, but it’s like the X-Men: you make do with what you’ve got,
because what you’ve got is…well, you. Still, there’s a ton of allure in imagining
what it’d be like to have your own ghostly companion. I’ve certainly indulged.

I’ll hold off on describing my ideal Stand for
now, because that’d take a bit of time, I haven’t completely nailed it down,
and (since this is the intro) there’s a lot of more relevant ground to
cover. I can tell you right now that it’s
not too dissimilar from Echoes in Diamond
is Unbreakable, barring some stuff that I’m pretty sure counts as a spoiler
or eight. So let’s go back to talking
about Stardust Crusaders for the
third and final time. The premise? I’ve
saidit
before, and I’ll say it again: Stands
in Part 3 are an embodiment of what you want to be, but fail to be.

And I’ll drive that point home one last time…with spoilers
aplenty. But then again, is
there any better way to celebrate Thanksgiving Day than with theory-crafting
for JoJo? Probably.
Also, I hope I didn’t date this post super-hard.

November 17, 2016

I’ve always believed that you can make any story
sound bizarre if you describe it as directly and plainly as possible. I mean, have you ever really put much thought
into Harry Potter? “A young boy who lives in his abusive
family’s cupboard finds out that he defeated an all-powerful evil wizard as a
baby, and is whisked off to a British castle so he can go to a school for
wizards.” There’s a lot to unpack there,
but context in-universe makes it easier to swallow. That’s true of every story, I bet. Break it down to those base elements --
removed of context and flourishes -- and you’re bound to get something
bizarre.

With that in mind, maybe JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is deserving of its name for a
reason. Some of the stuff in the last
post -- and this one, inevitably -- sounds absolutely insane, and it feels like
it’d take a conversation just to explain a conversation. What’s a Joestar? What’s Hamon?
What’s a Stand? And so on, and so
forth. It’s not to JoJo’s detriment, of course, but it does make for a harder
sell. Though now that I think about it,
I’d LOVE to see some kind of “Parents react to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure” video someday. If it’s anything like having
mothers describe Overwatch characters,
it’ll be a hoot.

Enough of that, though. It’s time to get back to action, and the
thrust of my argument: Stands in Stardust Crusaders are the embodiments
of what you want to be, but fail at being.
Am I wrong? Am I right? Judge for yourself, because I’ll make a case
with the core six characters of the series.

Also, get ready, because I’m about to spoil the CRAP out of Stardust Crusaders. But I would’ve guessed that I’m the last
horse to cross the finish line, soooooooooooooo…if you haven’t watched the show
yet, fix that.

November 14, 2016

Comic fans, I have a question: who is the most
powerful superhero in Marvel Comics canon?

I wouldn’t know, because I’ve only got a handful
of comics. My gut instinct is to go with
one of three choices, though. First off:
the Hulk, because the madder he gets the stronger he gets. By that logic, I’m under the impression that
his power level (such as it is) reaches something very close to infinity. Failing that?
I’d guess Jean Grey, since she’s got the power of Phoenix/Dark Phoenix
inside her, and years of Marvel 3 dominance
suggest she’s one to be feared. Failing
that? Doctor Strange. If his power is to cast spells, then in the
hands of a loose cannon writer with nothing to lose, all Strange would have to
do is read up a bit to find just the
right spell to solve the problem at hand.
Since his stories have (to my knowledge) pitted him against
outer-dimensional super-beings, I’d say that that’s kind of a necessity.

So that poses a unique challenge for Marvel
Studios. How do you bring a character
whose power is, theoretically, all of the
powers into the MCU? True, it’s not
as if he starts out as a mystic god-slayer in his big debut (it is an originstory, after all), but since the execs are playing the long game on multiple
fronts, there’s a possibility that Doctor Strange will be dramatically more
powerful in his next appearance. How do
you balance future movies around that?
How do you balance this movie
around that?

Time will tell what the future holds. But for now?
I’d argue that the strongest Marvel hero is actually the weakest Marvel hero -- and the movie’s
better for it.

Mystic Sword! Bolts of
Balthakk! Spell of Vishanti! SPOILERS OF THE FALTINE!

You know, one day soon I’m going to run out of ways to
reference Marvel 3. Today’s not that day, especially since one
player managed to score a big win with a Doctor
Strange/Phoenix Wright/Captain America team.
That’s my (theoretical and barely-explored) team, damn it!

November 10, 2016

Doctor
Strange makes me ask a lot of questions, but that’s not a fault of the
movie. I suspect that I know more about
him than the average Joe, if only because I played a couple of the Marvel Ultimate Alliance games way back
when. That was basically my first real
exposure to the doctor, and I was entranced by his antics -- like teleporting
all over the place after spinning like Wonder Woman on a turntable, or transforming
enemies into highly-destructible boxes (with the added, if not game-breaking
effect, of dishing out extra health). In
the time since, I’ve tried to learn more about him; my knowledge is still
surface-level, but I feel like I’ve been rewarded for my efforts.

Doctor Strange is a cool character. I’ve thought that for a while now -- and
there was a time in my life when I would ask with wide, glittering eyes “When
are we getting a Doctor Strange
movie?” While I wouldn’t say I’ve
dreamed of this moment, I’ve been excited to see what Marvel Studios can put
out. By extension, there are questions
that I had (and still have) about the movie.
Chief among them: how do you bring Doctor Strange onto the big
screen? And, you know, do a good job?

I’m not here to tell you if the movie’s good or
bad. I’m here to answer as many
questions as possible in the context of what I’ve seen. Sort out what works, what doesn’t work, and why.
If you’re interested, come along with me on this journey. If not?
I don’t know. Watch a Doctor Strange combo
video. Maybe you’ll pick up some new
tech.

By the hoary hosts of SPOILERS!

Side note: anyone looking forward to seeing the Seven Rings
of Raggadorr is out of luck. Sorry if
that’s a deal-breaker, but as a consolation prize? ASTRAL MAGIC CONFIRMED.

November 7, 2016

I think the highlight of my Sunday was showing my
brother a picture of Kamen
Rider Ex-Aid, telling him that he blows into game cartridges to power up
his special move, and watching his strained, despair-riddled reaction. I consider it sweet revenge for him effectively
dropping Final Fantasy 13-2 into my
lap once upon a time.

Huh? This
isn’t a post about Kamen Rider or Final Fantasy? It’s about a recent Marvel movie? Who cares about that?

…Okay, let’s talk about Doctor Strange. Via a
lickety-split post. No spoilers, so come
on down.