I was 14 when I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. He washed me clean and I had a new start! Somehow, before Christ, I managed to remain a virgin through that time of drugs, alcohol, skipping school and extreme rebellion to my parents. When I met Jesus, my whole life changed. I even had a beauty that came from the inside out. God’s love began to shine through me to others.

Sometimes I even found that young men were attracted to that light in me, and didn’t even understand that themselves. Do you know what I mean girls? I mean, you are growing in your faith, having the JOY of the Lord, and you seem to attract people to you. Here’s a joke for you, “even bugs have enough sense to come around the light!”

Seriously though, when I got saved, I had a boyfriend. He wanted to get into my pants but I never let him. Then, when I got saved, I prayed and asked the Lord if I was supposed to continue in that relationship? I really felt the Lord saying to me, “I can do MUCH better than this, you just wait and see!”

So, I broke up with the guy, and laid down that part of my life for God to be in control. The very next weekend, at a youth meeting, there was this guy who showed up. He loved Jesus, was tall, well-built, handsome AND played the guitar and sang! Guess what? We hit it off and he asked me to go out with him! It was a sweet little romance. Pure, like God would want. We were friends first and had the goosebumps to go along with it!

That wasn’t long, and it was like the Lord showed me that he CAN in fact, do much better than me. Throughout the rest of my teens and into my 20’s I made a decision that I was going to keep the gift of virginity for my husband. It wasn’t easy and trust me, there were times I could easily have given that gift away with a guy I thought I loved and cared about. I did date, and I always tried to make sure that I didn’t find myself in a compromising situation. God was so faithful to me that, a few times when I could have given it up, the guy was the one who would stop it because he knew my standards and committment. Can you believe it? It’s true. God can even do that!

Any of you who know Pastor Jerry Lackey-knows God did real good for me! He is exactly the ONE I needed in my life for us to fulfill our destinies together! And best of all, I had a precious gift to give him on our wedding night! I am so glad I waited for my one and only!

But be on your toes girls-and guys! Surround yourself with people who will support your decision to be pure. It is a lot of work, and there is a line that you, yourself have to decide NOT to cross.

Take up the challenge. Wherever you are in your life, even if you have already had sex. Do it for yourself. Do it for your mate. God is a God of forgiveness and restoration. It’s not too late. Reach for Life! Abstain, be faithful, and commit to Christ and He will help you all the way!

*This was a video script I wrote today for our youth in Northern Botswana at the Annual Reach4Life Event which promotes abstinence before marriage and faithfulness in marriage. To see the video click here. Visit www.lovebotswana.org for more information.

The next time I saw my future mother in law was at our rehearsal dinner the night before our wedding. It was a Hawaiian Luau. We got married, put our wedding gifts in storage and drove our old white Mercedes Benz pulling a trailer to Southern California where we were to live for 3 months in an apartment attached to a home of a couple who had 5 children, all under the age of 9. We were working with them to raise our funds to go to Africa. Turns out, the apartment ended up being a room just off the kitchen, and to top it off there was no lock on the door! For a newlywed couple, with curious toddlers around, it was more than a little awkward! The highlights were a deepened friendship with the host family, watching the nearby Disney World fireworks every night on the front lawn and long walks on the beach.

After that, we took our wheels and moved to Denver, Colorado where we were to settle into a charming apartment (just the 2 of us!) and spend 3 months on our next project to get us closer to the African Continent. We had no sooner gotten settled in and got to work, when we received a call from Kentucky. Pat had gone through a personal crisis and needed to get away and make a new start. When Jerry’s dad had left in his teens,it was pretty much just he and his mom. They had to sell the family civil war farmhouse and move into town. She was a kindergarten teacher at the time and Jerry was still in High School. In some ways, he helped take care of her during that difficult time. Once again, she needed him. I was the first to say, “sure, come on over!” So she did. She came with her bags and we moved her into the other bedroom of the apartment. It was right across from ours. What I didn’t know is that she never closed her bedroom door because of being locked in the basement as a child. You see, her mother died when she was very young and her sister, 20 years older than her took her and raised her. When her sister got married, Pat was subjected to some pretty cruel practices, such as being locked in the basement when she was naughty. She was a ring-tail-tooter with a vivid imagination, but no one deserved that, and it did have its effects on her.

Something I didn’t anticipate was having my mother-in-law across the hall with this very shy, newlywed wife within earshot of our bedroom! What was worse? The toddlers or this? She was easy to get along with, and I think we all just had a special “grace” to live together like that. It was just a matter of time till we ended up in Houston for our last event. We managed to get her into an apartment and a job as Principal for a church where I was formerly a Youth Pastor.They were starting a Christian School and I introduced them to Pat and she successfully grew their school over the next few years.

After our first few years in Africa, I had a growing desire to start our own Christian School in the Village of Maun, Botswana, where we had settled. I wanted something that would remain after us and it was, after all, at a Christian School where my life was changed and my life purpose discovered. Who better than “Miss Pat” to come and be our founding Principal, or Headmistress as referred to in Africa. The school in Houston was doing well and so during our next stateside visit, we asked her if she would be willing to move to Africa with us and help us start our school. Her response was that she would pray about it. It took some time for her to decide. She didn’t want to do it just because we were there. It had to be a word from God to her to do this next assignment. Not long after, we went to a church near Galveston, Texas. Just before the service ended, a Pastor named Rusty Martin got up, not knowing anything about our school or her plans. He said that he felt the Lord was speaking to him that (Pat), out of the hundreds of people who were there, was in conflict about a decision to go to the mission field in Africa. He said, “The Lord says to tell you that He is asking you to go, and it is not because of your children, but because of my heart for the many children that will one day, callyou a “Mother” on the continent.”

She packed her bags and came over with me shortly after our second son, Jordan, was born in 1991. We started the school together in January of 1992. Pat lived in our small house with us until we fixed up a cute thatched rondovel for her on the property we rented. She put all her energy, expertise and efforts into the school we named, Ngamiland Christian Academy. The school was in its second year, located in the London Mission Society house that was owned by the UCCSA church of Botswana. It was a historical building in which Jerry’s office was housed. Originally, it was the office of Robert Moffit, where the bible was translated into Setswana, giving Africa its first bible in an African language. Those early years were filled with joy and growth! And to have a grandma nearby for our two boys was a bonus!

She was the kind of Grandma that would go on long walks with the kids, pick up bugs and look at things through the kids’ plastic detective magnifying glasses and experience the wonder of the great African outdoors together. I had friends that would ask me what it was like having your “mother in law” always around and so close. Really, it was great. She helped me so much with the kids and never interfered with the way I did things. I was (am) a good cook, and she would watch the kids while I did the cooking and always helped with clean up afterwards. I rarely felt my space encroached upon and we generally got on very well. Life with Toddlers is very busy as well as building a ministry from the ground up. She and I were at the helm of the school while Jerry was busy with outreaches to even more remote areas than our own village of Maun.

On school holidays we went on outreaches together, sleeping in tents and cooking over the open fire. We had recently bought a new tent that had a divider in it and went out on one such trip. Pat slept on the one side with Remick, our firstborn son, while Jerry and I slept on the other side. I had the baby nicely tucked against the side of the tent and held him close as he was still nursing. I had a sudden urge to move Jordan, and out of that instinct, I moved him in between me and Jerry when all of a sudden, I heard a crash outside the tent! A crack in the zipper revealed a pack of Hyena’s that had made their way into our camp site and were rummaging for our leftover food right outside!

There are many, many stories I could tell about unusual times together. On that same safari, we were snugly tucked in when we heard a loud cracking sound, then the buzz of voices. When we looked out the tent, we saw an elephant straddling a small pup tent that contained two frenchmen who were no doubt, terrified at the thought of what was overhead! While the elephant dug his long ivory tusks into the side of the pulpy baobab tree and shook its fruit with his long nose, they hung on for dear life, all the while wondering if, at any moment they would be crushed. But alas, the friendly mammal was just looking for a midnight snack. In the morning, the two frenchmen left that site with a story to tell for the rest of their lives!

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While we were in Southern Africa we did many things. We served missionaries, helping them in their various works, taught in Bible schools, spoke in churches, went into Soweto, where the news was still fresh of tire necklace burning in the battle against apartheid in South Africa. We were offered churches to pastor, bible schools to teach in, many opportunities came our way. But we took a trip to Botswana with a seasoned missionary named Charles Haupt. He was to do a trip to check on his work in the Northern Part of Botswana. During our trip to Botswana, our time was filled with a lot of driving over vast expanses of land. The roads were rough, sandy, and like winter in the desert, the weather was freezing cold. We traveled by day and sat around the fire by night listening to the sounds of the African night. We heard the lions roaring, saw hippos and elephants grazing and awoke in the morning to the magnificent African sunrise.

Until, at last, we reached the beautiful people who live in the remote areas of Northwest Botswana. As we arrived at our first destination we saw such an eagerness to receive us as their special guests. Together with Charles we shared the good news, gave out clothing and shared bright oranges with the kids. Each child lined up one by one, stretching out both hands to receive it as a sign of respect. They respectfully waited, sitting in small circles until all the children were served. They waited for the nod from the Chief and tore into them and ate the whole thing, skin and all! At that point, I looked over at Jerry and he was crying. I was also touched but I could see, for him, there was something more. He had seen something years before, even in his rebellion and time away from God. He saw a vision of himself in this very place with these very people. He knew at that moment that this was where God wanted us to be. I had a call to Southern Africa, but I married a man that had specifically prayed a dangerous prayer, “God, send me where no one else is willing to go, where it’s not popular or glamorous.” So he sent us to the edge of the desert, the mouth of the Okavango Delta in the remote village of Maun, Botswana. The rest of that journey was nothing but solid “knowing” that we wanted to work in this region. The rest of our time in Africa was great, but nothing compared to our experience in Botswana. It shined like a diamond above all else. Our Pastor, John Osteen had a book written from a sermon he preached on “A Place Called There”. It’s about when you know that you know you are in the right place at the right time with a destiny to fulfill. And at that place, God will provide all you need!

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As we packed up and prepared to leave for Texas, to try it again, we ran into one of my favorite Professors from Christ For the Nations, named Dr. David Kast. He is from South Africa but was a pastor on staff at Charles Blair’s church in Denver. We had lunch together and Jerry and I eagerly shared our great plans with him about how we were going to “help God” and raise our own money for our trip and work in Africa. I will never forget the all-knowing look he gave us that day when he leaned in close, cupped his hands and said, “God really appreciates your help, he really does, but here is how it works: People NEED to give into your ministry. As much as you need to go, people need to give into the work that you are called to do. It is a principle that cannot be overlooked.” I like to tell the churches and partners where we go to share updates that we get to do the fun part, and “go”. Money comes from hard work, sweat and commitment. When people give sacrificially (which is the way most givers give) it represents their very lives through their giving. In the end, we all share in the same reward!

We left that day with a different perspective and realized that perhaps we were going about things the wrong way. We had to humble ourselves and be open to the way God wanted it to happen. Veteran Missionary statesman, Wayne Meyers says, “Some must go, because the call of God compels them to go and they cannot stay behind. Some must help go, since they have the resources means to send help. Lastly, some must let go, of children, of parents and friends who must go.”

It was about that time that we got a phone call from a friend, Dawn Stallings and she wanted to help us get “incorporated” to become a 501c-3, a non-profit organization that would enable people to give into the work and get a tax deduction, an incentive for Americans that is a benefit to those who would rather give to an NGO rather that it all going to “Uncle Sam” for taxes.

We told Dawn that we felt that was a bit premature, since we had our own plans, but our lunch with Dr. Kast came shortly after that phone call and he advised us to go for it as it would be necessary if people were going to help. So, we formed our little board and organization and went from there to Texas. During our time in Texas for a Houston Expo, we started getting letters out to our friends and family about our plans to head for Africa.

We went to see Brother Bill Deerman who is in heaven now. At that time, he was the missions Pastor at Lakewood Church. We told him of our plans and asked for direction. He said, “Africa is a big place and there is a lot you could do.” He went on to advise us to take a trip over to “spy out the land” and serve wherever we could. So we planned a 3 month trip, set our date, and started praying the money in to go!

Now that we are in missions for so many years, we tell people, “Don’t be surprised who will support you and don’t be surprised who won’t.” As we began to plan, things began to fall into place. YWAM needed a group leader to take a group of teens over to the YWAM “Go Festival” in Durban, South Africa. It happened to coincide with our dates, so we accepted the task. When it came time to leave for Africa, we had just enough money to get over there and a little for food and expenses once we arrived. Beyond that, we hoped that people would make good on their commitments to support us while we were away and we set off.

Once the wedding bells were over and the gifts were packed away in storage, we hitched up the trailer to the old Mercedes Benz we had bought to replace my Toyota Celica and the 2-seater MG that Jerry drove. It was a painful parting, between him and that little red MG. They were quite a pair! For all practical intents though, the old yellow Merc was solid, reliable, and most of all- the right price! There was just one problem. The mechanic that gave it a good work over in Houston before we left for our long journey took a look at all the grease spots inside the hood and said in his broken German accent, “Jerry, every picture tells a story.” So off we went, forewarned, on our journey across the USA to unchartered territories. We were off to raise money for our life’s calling; Africa- as soon as possible. We decided early on that we were not going have to succumb to the methodologies of missionaries of old which was, to beat on doors and ask for help and handouts to fulfill the Great Commission. We would handle it ourselves and work for our money. So our plan was in motion. Off to Southern California to host a Christian Expo, which would feature countless Christian businesses and ministries, showcasing their services and products to the wider Christian community. A hall was rented, ads placed and the work was ahead of us. We decided to take the “shortest distance between 2 points” route, which turned out to be a big mistake. Though the rolling mountains of Utah, complete with the Grand Canyon were breathtaking. But we found ourselves praying for the ol’ merc on most inclines and every time we made it over, we would breath a sigh of relief! At long last we rolled into Anaheim, California where our dear friends, the Humphrey’s, our hosts, were waiting for us. We had a nice little room just off the kitchen with a private bathroom, well, almost private, it also was the way out to the swimming pool, which was just outside our bedroom window. Now we are newlyweds mind you! And though this arrangement was only temporary (a few months) it was compounded by the fact that there was no lock on the door! The family had 5 precious children, 3 of which were under the age of 5! I found myself in a state of shock. This Christian girl who had kept herself pure all those years for the man of her dreams, now was at the mercy of a situation with NO PRIVACY!!! When we married, Jerry was not much of a handyman. But after 20 years in Africa he makes McGuiver look bad! He can now fix anything- or get it fixed, But the priorities of a young married man are a little different than the girls’! And privacy was not one of them. We got through those first months and there were some romantic times. Every evening we sat in the front lawn of the big house and watched the fireworks light up the sky as the spectacular grand finale of Walt Disney World displayed itself before us just blocks away. While Jerry was out drumming up business for the show, I was busy helping out the lady of the house, a godly, awesome woman named Sheila. I was privileged to be present at the home birth of her baby, who is now a grown man! I learned so much from her during our time together. Things that stayed with me into my early years of marriage and motherhood on the mission field where I didn’t have a mentor. Things just came back to me that I learned during those early months of marriage. So, even with the challenges of all I experienced, I came away from the experience much richer than before. After the show was over and all was said and done, we had enough money to get to Denver, Colorado where we were being sent to do our own show. We were so excited and happy to be on our way so we could make enough money to get to Africa for our first trip. We would do a show twice a year in 2 different states, and go do mission work in between. At least that was the plan. We spent 3 months in Denver putting things together and held a great expo there. We filled the hall with vendors, had some great Christian entertainment, and met many new, wonderful friends, including Wally and Marilyn Hickey, and many of those with their ministry, who remain friends to this day.

But when all was said and done, we had a great show, thousands of dollars came in and thousands of dollars went right back out and it was a break-even in the end.

Watch for the next post to see how it turned out. How do you think it should work with fund raising for missionaries?