31 January, 2015

My in-person life really does seem to be getting the best of my online life, but I'm pleased to have found a few spare minutes to share with you the gems that my friends have forwarded to me, just over this past week! Thanks, friends!First up, this amazing, amazing specimen was found at Cafe Hillel by my good friend Dena. It starts out cute, and ends with an actual chortle!

There's not much I can add to that one. Wow.

Then, only a few days later, my friend Jane sent this to me, all the way from New Zealand!

They sure are good at keeping secrets down there. Thanks, Jane!!

Then two days ago, this one, from our friend Dave M:

How do you like your scrambird? Over, or easy?

And then last night, my online friend Robin sent this to me, found by Ben - it's a keeper :)

Do you see it? Do you see it? Ahh, that's the stuff :)

I'm so pleased to share all these with you - enjoy!

In related news, I'm thinking that maybe a facebook page would be a more convenient home for A Time of the Signs - more convenient for me to post, and more convenient for you to read. So I've created one, here - please let me know what you think!!

13 January, 2015

My dear husband the Balashon has been blogging up a storm recently. His theory (and it seems to be working pretty well for him so far) is that posting short posts every day or so is far easier than trying to post longer ones, which take a lot more effort. He recommended I try the same thing here, and so I shall, starting with this amazing find, sent to me just today by Avigdor - buckle up!

See, now this is the kind of mistake I would expect to find in Israel, and yet this sign is charging in dollars... Shame on you, you native English speakers, you! I mean, we all get hungry sometimes, but hopefully not *that* hungry :)Thanks, Avigdor! And here's hoping to see all of you again soon, at my next short post :) All the best to you in the meantime!

07 January, 2015

Welcome back, everyone! Here in Gush Etzion we have been blessed with a snow day, and the promise of many more to come. What could be a better opportunity for me to fill your need for funny signs? For example, this has been all over facebook (thanks so much Naomi, Rachelle and Sima!) - apparently it was taken a few years ago, in Jerusalem's Machane Yehuda market:

For those of you who understand Hebrew, that might take a second, and then you'll slap your forehead, unbelieving. For those who don't, I don't even know how to begin to explain this... but yes, it's clearly a mistake. Unless you'd like a side order of government with your salad, I suppose...And here's another one found for me by that same, wonderful Sima:

I don't know how to read Arabic, but after asking around on facebook, my cool friend Elka told us that it meant to say "Rice with Herbs." Naturally. Sima's original comment made me laugh out loud: What's the main dish? Meatballs with ebola?:)Anyway... on to older posts:Back in the day, my husband Dave found this on facebook, photographed and posted by Ilana Brown, in Jerusalem's Mamilla Mall. Shortly after, it was sent to me by two other friends, Gidon and Jeff. Thanks so much to all of you! Even after all these years of blogging, I'm simultaneously honored and entertained that when people see God-awful typos, they think of me. Anyway, his one is really for the books:

Right?? Clearly they were going for "sweet," um, at least we hope so. That would be a bit more appetizing. Truly a pity that they couldn't find any English speakers in Jerusalem to consult, before printing these gigantic banners and hanging them all over the place...Here's a great one from our good friend Ricky, who found this on the menu at Waffle bar, also in Jerusalem:

Somehow this makes me feel like the waiter has been working out, and lifting weights, or something. Still, I think someone needs to ask an editor, before we can ask the weitor. My always-online-Dave found this fantastic menu for me, originally found by Joel Haber. Let's give these guys the benefit of the doubt, and assume that the line with No Alimonena was created using Google Translate:

This is a twofold mistake: the no part is the shoom in Hebrew - shoom can mean either garlic, or none, which often leads to funny mistranslations. Since I moved here I've been making the joke that Shoom Shamir (Garlic-Dill) can be translated as "Nope, there's no dill in there." It's a cute joke, but still not terribly professional to hang on a wall... Anyway, the second part is limonana, which is a recent, kind of slangy Hebrew term used to combine Limon (lemon) and Nana (spearmint). That's usually a drink, not a sauce, but that's a whole different judgement call. Anyway, clearly the author of this sign was confused by how to translate this, and figured transliterating would be just as good. As long as there's some English lettering up there, it's fine, no one really reads it anyway, right? :) This was found in a hotel in Eilat, by an online friend of mine who asked to stay anonymous. So mysterious of her, right?

They're so progressive in Eilat :)And one more today, from our cousin Lisa, who found this gem!

Ah, what a great finale :)Have a wonderful winter, all of you, whether you're home today or not. Hopefully I'll back soon with more of these. Stay warm in the meantime!