Friday, 13 November 2009

Review - BLOODY WOMEN - Helen FitzGerald

First Lines: "I just need you to say if this is him," the man in the white coat said, lifting the sheet that covered the lump beneath.

I looked down at the metal bench.

"Take your time," the man said, which I was already doing. I looked long and hard, holding back the tears, moving my head left to right, closer, further away, and then said, "Yes, that's Ahmed."

When Catriona Marsden is called in to identify an ex-boyfriend's severed penis, her reaction is to giggle. Needless to say, that does not look good, and she's promptly arrested for the murder of not one, but three ex-boyfriends. As she puts it "I was no longer viewed as the bereaved ex-lover of three men, but was accused of shagging, mutilating and murdering them, not necessarily in that order." And that takes us to the top of page two of this very dark, very funny book.

Cat is getting married and, like most brides, she has the pre-wedding jitters. However, unlike most brides, she decides that the way to put those jitters to bed is to meet up with each of her ex-boyfriends, and sleep with them. So now she's in jail, and the woman who is writing her biography has...well...she's put her own particular spin on things. And that looks as though it could send Cat over the edge.

BLOODY WOMEN is delicious, ingenious, inventive and mordantly funny. Helen FitzGerald has a real skill for making the totally absurd and goofy, thoroughly logical and reasonable. She serves up plot twists and severed penises (penii?) alike with the same relish and glee as Bette Davis serving Joan Crawford a rat on a silver salver in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane.

This is a book where at any given moment you think you know what's happening, but do you really? Helen FitzGerald amuses, entertains, enthralls and shocks in equal measure. She manages to make the reader care about characters who are, on the surface, pretty unlikeable. Excellent stuff. Warped, funny, and very well told.

Having now read a couple of her books, Helen Fitzgerald has firmly claimed a place on my list of favourite authors.

Welcome to Badsville

This here's Badsville - the home of Scottish crime fiction - news, interviews, reviews, book-related stuff, non book-related stuff, and any other random nonsense that takes my fancy (there, that should stop me getting done under the Trade Descriptions Act). It will focus on Scottish crime fiction authors, crime fiction books set in Scotland, and authors who have a great great-uncle twice removed who may once have played football for Scotland. But it will also cover anything else that tickles my fancy because...well, because I can.

The list of authors includes all those I could find websites for. If I've missed anyone off the list, please let me know. If you want to be interviewed (you mad fool) again, please let me know. And...well, that's about it really.

"It's all hilarious and exhausting; you can't help but love The Old Dogs" Shelf Awareness

"The way she orchestrates her comic set-pieces is nothing short of genius and designed to eke out every last piece of humour." Crimesquad

"...All of the action points toward the trainwreck of heist attempts, but Moore gives us much more, continuing the action (and the fun) long after the heist itself..." International Noir Fiction

"...a heist caper, a modern farce, an adventure, a Carry-On movie on acid. The twists and turns are impossible to predict and it is to her credit that no matter how ridiculous the sets of events might be she manages to make them seem entirely credible, in part because the motives of all those who inhabit the book are so deeply believable." Sea Minor

"Donna Moore is a master at creating colourful characters and putting them into laugh out loud situations. Combine that with strong dialogue and tight pacing, and you've got yourself a brilliant book well worth the read." I Love A Good Mystery

Currently Listening To

Catchy, reverby, retro indie pop. A cheerier and less edgy version of Jesus and Mary Chain mixed in with Wreckless Eric and the enrgy of The Ramones. Nothing that will revolutionise indie music, but just really great fun, dance around the living room tunes that are feelgood and upbeat. Favourite tracks - IF YOU WANNA, BLOW IT UP and WRECKIN' BAR (RA RA RA).

Psychedelic throbbing guitar noise, very 60s, a little like an indie rock version of The Doors. Sludgy, moody, a little bit creepy in places. Favourite tracks - BAD VIBRATIONS and HAUNTING AT 1300 MCKINLEY. Although this album doesn't have my favourite Black Angels track - that's this one - BLOODHOUNDS ON MY TRAIL.

Compilation album of Violent Feemes tracks from 1981-1993 this has been one of my favourite albums for ages. With so many UK bands mixing indie and folk and ending up sounding naff and twee and really annoying, the Violent Femmes do the whole punk/country/folk thing superbly. And I love Gordon Gano's voice. Favourite tracks GONE DADDY GONE, 36-24-36, AMERICAN MUSIC and the utterly brilliant and eerie COUNTRY DEATH SONG (about as noir as it gets).