Lol. Lessons you learned the hard way.

2 years, 4 months ago

Hey guys. For future reference, it’s @alltoohuman.

This week was a little crazy, so until now I’ve been running back and forth to deal with all the fun stuff that comes with the holidays in my family. At some point my sister came over, letting my nephew play around the house. Maybe there was bound to be a downside in taking him on as my little project (he’s almost four, but I’ve taught him things like basic math early on). If I knew she was going to arrive early, I would’ve kept my laptop off. The little imp likes to mess with it…he deleted my old account!

1.) The lesson that your mind is just a tool, and not to let it become your own worst enemy instead. That most of the time, paranoia is completely unfounded (especially when you’re a child), and if you find your mind playing tricks on you over and over and it’s preventing you from having fun, you should probably just stop listening to it.

2.) Not to let people whose opinions you don’t care about bother you or break your confidence/spirit.

3.) To not be so rigid in imagination, and to really make the childhood days count, because they won’t be coming back.

4.) That time waits for no one…I’m making a decent start now, but by the time I have things together it may well be too late for it to matter much. I should’ve started thinking the HE way 8 years ago, I would have been in a much better position.

I learnt the hard way what it really means to be confident. I went from being a people pleaser (and having people walk all over me) to then being an overly confident sarcastic idiot. It’s much easier getting through life being a happy medium between the two.

Oh I also learnt the hard way once not to lean my knee on a glass shelf.

Don’t fuck around in school. I basically wasted two years of my life that could have been spent traveling and learning new skills and really living, opposed to being stuck in highschool with immature kids in a nothing town, while knowing fully that highschool in itself is a huge waste of time and completely structured the wrong way. So, don’t fuck around in school.

I spent a good portion of my pre college years caring about what people thought. This continued until a girl tutoring me in precalc gave me quite possibly the best advice I’ve ever been given. She told me “Haters gonna hate” and continued to explain that I shouldn’t give a fuck about what people think.

-If you’re climbing a tree, you better pay attention to what you’re doing. (Fell from a tree when I was 5)

-If you play too hard you might get hurt, and you’ll lose out on a lot of fun if you’re injured. (Broke my arm playing with my bro when I was 5. Had to wear a cast that summer, and sit and watch while the other kids had the time of their lives.)

-When people are being assholes you gotta put them in their place or they’ll never stop. (Elementary school, need I say more?)

-Some people will never come to their senses no matter how many times they’re put in their place. Ignore them. (Middle school, need I say more?)

-Fucking with people’s minds is much more effective than violence. It’s also a lot more fun, and it’s much easier to avoid getting caught and staying out of trouble. (Ahhh the school years…)

-Alcohol is nothing to fuck with, take it easy with that shit.

-If a girl is acting all strange toward you and keeps talking to you for no reason, she’s most likely got a crush on you. (I missed so many early opportunities due to ignorance. The realization hit me like a sledgehammer.)

-If you have a girlfriend that won’t put out, finding another girl that will is not a good solution, and it leads to a shitload of drama when your girlfriend finds out.

-If you spend too much time with the videogames as a kid, you’ll have a big challenge getting a decent social life later in life. (Such as the above example, and many more.)

-If you smoke weed everyday, you become a total dumbass. You don’t notice it though, you probably even think you’re smarter than before. And you’ll forget what little fun you had with that stuff anyway.

-Don’t go playing around with strange cults thinking it’s just a fun pastime activity, it will fuck you up. What’s been seen cannot be unseen. What’s been done cannot be undone.

-Stay off the damn drugs. (I didn’t, those were some fucked up years)

-Getting a better paying job that’s further away doesn’t pay off. You’ll lose so much time travelling to work and back, and you’ll spend more money on food.

-Consistent hard work is the key to everything, fancy tools and circumstances don’t mean shit.

-No matter how good the stuff you’re teaching people is, most people will not listen. And of those who do listen, very few will understand. And only a small fraction of those who understand really apply it or even remember it.

“-If a girl is acting all strange toward you and keeps talking to you for no reason, she’s most likely got a crush on you. (I missed so many early opportunities due to ignorance. The realization hit me like a sledgehammer.)”

I was the same. Although I realized that being a friend with someone is actually more important than anything. I even think that if dudes don’t grow up thinking mostly about fucking their female friends, they won’t grow up to be insecure morons.

Or maybe that’s just me.

-Alcohol is nothing to fuck with, take it easy with that shit.

I’m starting to believe that this is actually something no advice can really do something, however successful you are. Everyone should just get access to alcohol at the age of 12, to learn from experience. Take an innocent young kid and give them alcohol, tell them to drink as much as they want to realize for themselves if it’s cool or not.

At the end of the day, experience is going to be the only sure thing you can keep. But as always, advices about alcohol go neglected.

This is stuff I only just realized, I have been a train wreck thus far.

Identify your strengths and weakness, then stop wasting time on your weakness, be that trying to improve it or just sacrificing time, thoughts and energy to it in general. Focus instead on your strengths, then you can build a wealth of it, at which point you can find others who are strong where you are weak and let them cover you. This requires some kind of trade off, that your strengths suit them in some manner. (I know that counters Manimals arguement, but I believe people want stuff and they will generally be loyal and predictable in securing that selfish motive)

Indulge in your passion, do the best you can at what you are good at, or what you just love to do. Success is not about shaking the pillars of heaven, it is being satisfied or even impressed with the efforts you have made in what you have taken as challenge.

If it can’t be proved, treat it as a curiosity, not as a staple foundation for your sensibilities, real answers to everything about life are verifyable.

Totally. Those girls weren’t my friends though, just classmates and other seemingly random girls. My social skills were absolute back then, and I didn’t understand girls, nor did I think girls liked me.

I fully agree about the alcohol. The propaganda says that people who start drinking earlier are more likely to keep drinking and get addicted than people who start drinking later… but I’ve never seen any research to back that up, and all the cases I know personally seem to be implying the opposite. That people who start drinking earlier stop drinking earlier. I’m in my early 20s and I’m done with the alcohol, for good, and same goes for most of the people I used to drink with back in 7-8th grade.

I think one of the most important things is choice of friends. I haven’t had any ‘hard’ experiences with regards to this, but i remember hearing some along the lines of ‘surround yourself with people who inspire you’. This inspiration could be anything, from being a good person (very open ended), to having a great work ethic or a thirst for knowledge. It is your friends who have a huge impact on the decisions you make- or so i have found.

If you know there are people holding you back, find people who you aspire to be like and befriend them

@manimal, “I fully agree about the alcohol. The propaganda says that people who start drinking earlier are more likely to keep drinking and get addicted than people who start drinking later… but I’ve never seen any research to back that up, and all the cases I know personally seem to be implying the opposite. That people who start drinking earlier stop drinking earlier.”

My initial response (thought process) was disbelieve, but after a few moments and reading your reply I realized that I have been going through the same situation, and indeed, quit alcohol for good not so long ago as well. Passing out on alcohol for the first time at an age of 13, it surely fucked up my liver and killed numerous brain cells in the last 10+ years, but it gave me the insight to quit it for good as well.

Although I do think that this is an exception to the rule, and a lot more people get sucked into the addiction of the sense pleasures they get from alcohol (like with every addiction, it is not the substance itself which make you addicted, but rather the sense pleasure you experience because of it).

“I’m in my early 20s and I’m done with the alcohol, for good, and same goes for most of the people I used to drink with back in 7-8th grade.”

I do not know you, nor your friends, but I believe (when I look at my own situation which is similar) that this has more to do with ones personality/IQ/experiences, rather than with the fact that you started drinking at an early age. I mean, I do not think the connection is causal as you explain.

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