I’m on vacation in Pair-ree right now and I haven’t been to the Louvre yet (because I hate myself, but I don’t hate myself enough to stand in that line), but if I go, I plan to immediately ask to speak to the “manager.” I’m going to take the manager to a private corner and whisper in their ear that I have a hot art tip for them that’ll make them the envy of every museum in the world! I will tell the “manager” that a highly important work of art and historic artifact is up for auction. Once I tell them that Angelyne is selling one of her priceless hot pink chariots, I will fall back out of shock if the manager doesn’t wink at me while saying that they’re already on it.

The forever-reigning Queen of Los Angeles, who for years made the city a much more glamorous place with her billboards, is graciously offering up one of her beautiful chariots to us, the peasants. L.A. Weekly says that the stunning love child of an anime doll and a hot pink peony is selling one of the pink Corvettes that blows pink glitters out of its exhaust pipes when she drives around while surveying her land. She also uses her Corvette to sell Angelyne merchandise to her subjects out of her trunk.

Angelyne’s 2008 Corvette is up on eBay and right now, it’s only up to the rock bottom price of $14,100 and the reserve hasn’t been met. If the reserve is anything below $10 billion, then the buyer is getting the deal of all deals. Here’s the description and just ignore the part about a Kartrashian. Angelyne truly is a saint for mentioning a gutter tramp lesser:

Up for auction is Angelyne’s 2008 custom-painted Chevy Corvette. Seen all over Hollywood and Los Angeles – Tweeted and drooled over by celebrities such as Kim Kardashian, James Franco… seen in movies, magazines, and TV. The latest film it appears in is James Franco’s “Masterpiece”.

Angelyne’s assistant tells L.A. Weekly she currently owns a 2016 Corvette. Even though the 2017 models aren’t out yet, she claims she also has one of those and it’s getting the pink treatment in the paint shop right now. Angelyne’s 2008 Corvette has new tires, a new radiator and a removable top that has been kissed by a demure angel’s lips (aka Angelyne’s crotch, see: picture above).

If I cleared out my savings accounts, sold everything I own and turned my ass out on the ho stroll, I still wouldn’t end up with enough money to buy this magnificent piece of American history. (In fact, I’d end up in debt, because every john I sold my ass to would demand a refund plus gas money.) But the lucky bitch who gets this isn’t only classing up their lives by 10,000%, they’re also buying a ticket to the VIP line in heaven. Because Angelyne is one of God’s most favorite and gorgeous earth angels.

And here’s pictures of the ageless human Popple and her newest chariot of elegance at an Albertson’s parking lot last month.

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