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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Have you ever tried to get things going your way only to fail at it and become demotivated?How many times have you tried over and over at a goal only to get the same disappointing result only to think “what’s the point”?How about always feeling lost, depressed, or sad because your life seems to have no real meaning?Even worse when you try to overcome it and it never seems to work.

If what was mentioned sounds like you remotely or completely then you’re simply suffering from a common trait that we all have in common…being human.None of these feelings, thoughts or emotions is uncommon, and despite what many may believe you are not alone. We all experience one or most of these from time to time.If we didn’t then we really wouldn’t be human; to be frank any negative thought or feeling that you may experience is natural because we are human, and humans have feelings of doubt and despair at times.

Then why does it seem to affect some and not others?Simply put, their mindset is what makes the difference; as a matter of fact it’s the only thing that can make that difference.Friends cannot, family cannot. Not even the very much qualified therapist that charges so much to have you talk with him/her can, it is all you and your mindset.

People with a positive mindset demonstrate positive attitudes, and will forever lead positive lives. Not because their life is in a better position than yours, not because of greater success or more money, or because they have the best friends and family support than you do, they simple do because of mindset.These people know that we all go through depressing, disappointing times.They know that it will come to haunt them at some point.However, they also know the difference between allowing themselves to be a victim of depression and disappointment, or of circumstance, and getting back up with a smile and a “never quit” attitude. They know that bad things happen to good people, and they know to accept that, cry if necessary, and move on.They don’t make excuses for any bad situation they encounter, and think “I can’t do anything about it”, “I’ve tried and can’t do it”, “I’m not strong enough” or “It’s too hard for me to do”.They know that this attitude and negative mindset GETS YOU NOWHERE, so STOP MAKING EXCUSES to justify how you feel and why you sit doing nothing about it.Now continue to drill this into your head: mindset, mindset, mindset, don’t stop until it is all you can think about and focus on it.

Now how do you, not anyone else but Y-O-U change your mindset?It’s really simple so you don’t need to put it on your “Things to Do List” all that is required is deciding you want to change your circumstance. You want to control that, and even though you are human and will experience sadness, depression and disappointment, it will not influence how you choose to live your life and will not control your mood or state of mind; most importantly it will not make you give up.Next you must remove EVERY negative thought, even when they come around recognize them and immediately dismiss them, speak against them, rebuke them with holy water if you have to, just get rid of them.Easier said than done I know, but it is possible.You have to condition your mind in order for this change to take effect and be consistent. It will not be an overnight change, so don’t get depressed or frustrated if it doesn’t happen right away.As with any good or bad habit it takes practice.Every time you feel depressed shake it off and tell yourself that you refuse to feel this way anymore because you don’t want to; think of positive thoughts or memories, something to make you smile, get up and get out.Move to an area or person that will bring about positive energy and good vibes you can ‘feed’ off if it’s difficult to accomplish on your own.Every time you fail to achieve a goal you’ve set, brush yourself off, get up and go again; remember: failure is always necessary for success, because that’s how you learn to do it better the next time around.Every time things may not go how you want them to just remember: life is like that, things will not always go our way, but with a positive mindset you will learn never to quit until it does.Once you learn how to master the art of positive thinking you will feel more uplifted and you will realize that your life will take a turn for the better because you have decided it must. It’s not that your situation has improved, it’s just that because you have now developed the art of positive thinking you will not notice the negatives and focus only on the positives; hence everything around you becomes positive.

By changing your mindset from constantly negative to constantly positive you will now have the power to control your attitude, no bad omen or element can ruin your day, your mood, or your life.You may not be able to always control the outcome but you control the destiny.You are in control of Y-O-U and no one can and will ever be able to take that away.Invite and embrace positivity and positive will follow.Remember that emotions (how we feel) are all states of the mind and control our actions. If we think and entertain negative, negative energy will flow and everything in life will seem as that.If we think and entertain only positive, then positive energy will flow and everything in life will seem positive.

Our mind and body can only hold so much, so if you fill your mind with positive then there will be no room for negative thoughts to enter.You are stronger than you think; don’t think you are, know you are. All you have to do is change your mindset from negative to positive.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Ever had a dream? Ever wanted to do something that you were so passionate about that you would stay awake for hours each night thinking about it; how to get it done, what to do, and how to do it? I have and I know what it feels like.

The only thing worst than trying to live your dream and failing is not trying to live it at all. Imagine waking up one day to the realization that your life has ended or is coming to its end, and you spent your entire life living for something you had no interest in doing in the first place, and no passion for; you think death is worst? You should try doing this.

Everyone, no matter how young or how old, cultural difference or belief has a dream. So the question is why aren’t most people out there living theirs? It could be that you think the dream is silly, no one will support or encourage it, but instead will laugh at the mere thought of it. It could be that you’re afraid of trying because the idea of failing seems somewhat unbearable. It could be that you can’t find the time and that you’re too pre-occupied trying to pay the bills and can’t be caught up with the ‘childish hope’ of having a dream. Whatever the reason, or before you agree that “hey that one sounds like me”, let me break it down for you. Firstly, you should know that any dream that is unique and shows imagination and creativity will be seen as silly or downright stupid, so prepare yourself to be ridiculed, but that’s okay. It’s your dream and no one else’s, you don’t need approval to have it or to live it, and if that’s not enough to convince you then there’s the simple proven fact that every great idea, invention, creation, discovery started out being ‘a stupid dream’. Secondly, in life there are risks, simply stepping outside your doors to go to that job you hate so much is a risk, there’s no guarantee that you will go to work to find yourself still in a job or even that you will live to see another day, so we’re taking risks everyday without even being conscious of it. So why should it be so hard to take this risk when the rewards are so fulfilling? Failure is inevitable in anything you wish to accomplish in life there has to be failures, why? Because the more you fail the more you learn to do it better the next time, the more you fail the closer you are to getting it right the next time, the more you fail the more you learn from the experience, and the more you fail the more you learn to appreciate the sweet thrill of success when it comes along, but if you don’t try and fail how can you succeed? I for one love failing, now I don’t see it as a disappointment. I see it as “this way didn’t work so I’m going to challenge myself to find a way that does, because I know I can succeed”. So you think you don’t have the time, think you’re too busy? Take the time to think about the things you do with your life on a daily basis when you’re not working or studying. Going out with friends, browsing the internet (Facebook anyone?). The truth is you have more time than you even realize, it’s just a matter of sacrificing other activities to find the time to do it, because believe me when I say if you don’t take the initiative to, no one’s going to do it for you.

Many need to realize a dream is not simply a foolish, childish thought that each of us may have. A dream isn’t just another hot air scheme to try at something new, nor is it a means to occupy your time when you are bored, that’s what hobbies are for. A dream, when there is a genuine passion for it, gives a sense of purpose, to add value to your life and makes you feel as if you are not living your life aimlessly, it gives fulfillment knowing that you can wake up everyday doing what you love and loving every second of every day of it. It puts a constant smile on your face and in your heart, but most importantly, a dream sets you free from the harsh realities of this world, to give you a place where you can finally be set free with absolutely no burden that comes with life (school, work, even personal relationships). Wake up living each day as if it’s the happiest day of your life, imagine doing that everyday.

Still not convinced, well take the time to read through this link http://www.des.emory.edu/mfp/efficacynotgiveup.html

The sooner you understand that no one will make it possible other than yourself, the sooner the fear of failure, ridicule, or timeliness will seem irrelevant and that first step will be taken. At the end of the day all you need is that first step, don’t worry about the ‘how am I’ or ‘when can I’ or ‘what or who can I’. Once you take that first step you will realize as I did that when the first step is made everything else will simply fall into place, as if everyone and everything were just there waiting for you to make that first step.

There is more to life than struggles and hardships, pain and unhappiness. There is more to life than you having to wake up everyday of your life feeling like you have no reason to get out of bed today, there is more to life than feeling as if your life holds no value to it, as if you are just floating along on the waves of the ocean with no sense of direction and no purpose. Know that there is indeed more to life, and one of the best ways of finding out what that is will be to…

The following piece is copyrighted, in order to re-post or use this poem please seek permission from the writer (Winston Henderson)

My eyes wide open, my soul awakeStill my mind wanders from its conscious stateI dream of valleys raised to the highest peaksAnd mountains crumble by the stomp of my feetI dream I could outshine the moon’s enchanted nightAnd that not even the sun could shine as bright as I mightI dream that when they try to turn my world upside downThat my ascension surpasses beyond even the cloudsI dream that when they enforce their laws and rulesThat I an no fool and will walk the path I chooseI dream that I am ridiculed for believing in a future not seenBut because of a dream my universe extends beyond earthly beingsThey criticize, scrutinize, try to push my dream asideBut a man who doesn’t realize never had a dream insideEvery dream silly, insane, far from human possibilityBut it’s the power of a dream that no one can see but meWise men say dreams are stupid, far from the things that are realBut I pity the wise man who lived his life without a dreamFor my dream elevates me, my dream sets me freeMy dream shows me that I am more than a human beingSo they try to hold back my dream, they try to take it awayBut no matter how they try my dream will be here to stayEven when I try, even when I fail9 times I fall, the tenth shall be my dayIrrational, reckless, belittled more, considered lessBut with a dream I am now seen as one of the greatestDon’t be taken away from your dream for it will set you freeGreat men and women had a dream, and they said “It started with me”

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Always remember through this entire transitional process the purpose is to learn how to become and remain a beautiful person no matter the given situation you may be in. Love is not weakness as it is seen, but it is the most powerful and most difficult of all the emotions, which is why so many people find it so hard to completely come to grips with. However, just think of how you are when you are in love, loved or loving, that’s usually when you are most alive isn’t it? I for one don’t smile much, not because I have no reason to, because believe me I have too much to smile about, but simply because that’s how I am, my smile mostly exists on the inside, that’s where I am constantly smiling. However, my smile often comes out when I’m around my friends and family and when I make others smile, especially when I make others smile. It’s a feel good feeling that words will never be able to describe, but, it feels REALLY good.

You now have to learn how to deal with hurt that may happen within your daily life and the people you interact with. There will arise many other occasions where people will do or say things that will lead you to hurt and anger, maybe not to such a great extent as before but it will happen, so how do you deal with these people? The approach that I use is trying to understand where they are coming from. Don’t be quick to anger, instead think and try to understand why they are acting the way they are. There is never a point in someone’s life where they wake up in the morning and say, “Ok…how can I make everyone’s life miserable today?” or at least I would hope that’s not the case. Usually people acting the way they do is a result of some misfortune that happened in their life before their confrontation with you; maybe they had a run in with the boss at work, someone said something to offend them and you just happen to be the first next person they end up coming in contact with, and all the frustration and anger is thrown at you. It can be in the case of a relationship the person was hurt before and they believe that in order to keep from getting hurt again it’s best to hurt you first, it’s the old ‘best defense is a good offense’ rule to war. By hurting you first (the offense) they protect themselves from being hurt (the defense). Understand where people are coming from and why they do to you what they do. Once you can do that then you will not be angered easily and can look pass the hurt they cause. Be sympathetic to their situation and help them get through it and become a better person. In a sense by showing them love you learn to love even when you are hurt and they will learn to do the same…share the love.

Finally, stay away from negativity and negative people. They will only upset the very delicate balance that you have worked so hard to create. Reach out to them, try to change their negative into positive, but realize that not everyone wants to be helped and not everyone will change. In order for change to take place they have to genuinely want to change themselves and not because you want them to. If it’s a losing battle leave them be and walk away. My philosophy for people who do not wish to be helped is “the best teacher in life is experience”. They will not learn by you telling them or showing them but by them going through it for themselves.

When there is inner peace you will feel absolutely no anger towards anyone, or it will be hard for you to. You will be filled with so much joy and happiness and peace that all you want to do is share it with everyone you meet, and it will seem as if you can never share enough because it is endless.

Each time you get hurt love the person who hurt you and the other after even more, this not only shows you as the beautiful person you are, but pretty soon others around you will be enchanted by it and the positive energy will rub off on them and even the not so loving will begin taking the steps to becoming…A Beautiful Person.