11 failed IUIs, IVF #1- miscarriage, FET #1-nada, IVF #2-triplets but we lost them all at 9, 18, and 21 weeks in 2013. When all hope was lost a friend stepped forward to be our gestational carrier and carried in our twins... 2 years later we decided to try for one more baby with me carrying again...this is our story

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Clomid Sounds Great, Maybe We'll Call Her Chloe!

January 2012

By the time August rolled around I was practically BEGGING my doctor for Clomid. Since I did get periods of my own (it was about every 40-60 days), the doctor decided I was "anovulatory" meaning my body wasn't releasing eggs. Clomid is a pill that is suppose to give you a monthly period which would at LEAST put us is the same category of all the other "healthy" and "normal" couples. They start you at 50 mg, then, if that doesn't work (I just knew it would), then they up you to 100 mg the next cycle and then the last move is trying you on 150mg. Since I did kind of have a period, I was pumped to start and sure 50 would do the trick.

It didn't.
With crazy charting and the use of ovulation predictor kits, I thought I had a positive but through the 7 day blood work test they determined I hadn't ovulated at all (Progesterone is supposed to be at least 10 and my first level was .9)

A little bummed, I had to take Provera (it induces a nearly instant period) to start Cycle #2, 100mg.

I took this 2 different cycles and nothing.

By the time October rolled around, I was getting scared. If I can't ovulate, I can't get pregnant. We decided to bring in the big guns AKA 150 mg of Clomid.

These cycles were crazy. I'm 28 years old but would have the most intense hot flashes 15-25 times a day. I had headaches. To make sure I was giving it enough time, Darren and I decided to wait until later into the cycle for the "smiley face" on the opk. At the end of November, I got my first happy face. Since my cycles were like 40 days long, if I even thought there was a chance of ovulation I became like a prostitute that would die if "do it" with my husband. I think I officially scared him with my tiger hunger ovulation eyes.

Blood work showed a week later that for the first time I ovulated! Progesterone was 18! I actually felt as happy as I would be if the test said pregnant (for 20 seconds or so). I cried, I laughed, and finally felt like something was happening.

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My Bucket List:

Meet the Bensons

Hi! I'm Holly and Darren is my husband. We have been married 5 years; after our 11th fertility treatment in 2013 we lost triplets (2 were stillborns in the 2nd tri). It nearly destroyed us. The day I delivered my son a friend emailed us and offered to carry some of our biological remaining embryos. The transfer was a success and we had twin boys born almost exactly a year-to-the-date later than when I delivered my son. If I'm not blogging about our journey, I'm teaching high school Spanish, drinking Starbucks, hanging out with family, eating candy-and then working it off at the gym. If you ever need to contact me directly you can at hollybenson10@yahoo.com or if you want to see more into our daily lives, my instagram is hbenson10

How Long We've Been At It:

JB

Babies in Heaven

We have had two miscarriages and 2 stillborns (born 3 weeks apart). I'm 50/50 on naming the early miscarriages but it gives me a sense of peace and reality of their lives. In heaven, I will call for them.

Jaden lost 11/2012 blighted ovum (my sister gave me the idea for this name, it means "God has heard" and he had because it was our 1st pregnancy)

Isaac lost 8/2013 everything was perfect and then stopped at 9 weeks (my sister is law gave me this idea. Isaac means "laughter" and everyone's first reaction to us having triplets was laughter)

Stillborn daughter born 10/30/13

Stillborn son Jude born @21 weeks 11/17/30

Infertility Treatment Journey

Me: 31 I have mild PCOS and ovulate very randomly (I respond to femera and on that have normal cycles)