Month: May, 2009

It’s not my fault
that I can’t find how far
the apple falls
from the tree
I can tell you that
it’s not like I tried too hard
at fighting back
I slipped on words
that I wrote down myself
but secretly I just found them
carved into another’s back with a belt

It’s not my fault
that I never felt the shock
of being told
that my best friend had just been found afloat
filled with his own fluids
because even I know
that you can’t make that stuff up

It’s no secret to me
that what you feel is more real than anything
that I can say truthfully
about being free
it’s just that I keep writing poetry
and if there’s nothing else to talk about
I fall back on talking about me

except that none of me is real anymore
and writing this down is like digging into myself
to find the truth that I’ve buried beneath
the everyday lies that I yell as loudly as I can
so that no one will hear me whispering
in free form verses

stream of consciousness
river of insanity
I stand on your shores and shout callously
that I don’t know you
but my toes sink slowly into the sand
because they eschew my dishonesty
just like my eyes when I try to hide
myself

It’s not like I haven’t built a tower in the trees before
but I keep remembering dreams I’ve never had before
and it’s weird to me because it’s hard to believe
in things that don’t exist in anywhere but me
but I suppose that’s just one way to live
still, I wish my room would rearrange itself
and stop coughing up pictures of how it used to be
before I started to think about these things

That didn’t sound fake to you?
I thought you might’ve heard
the faintest twinkle of insincerity
in my voice

You must’ve heard it before
now and again
the words we’ve said to one another
stamped upon our foreheads
and then burned away like plastic in the flames
writhing shrinking lies that melt into the ash
the dark mark of last nights bonfire
that can’t be swept away with words

Just take it all with a grain of salt
is what I’m trying to say
you knew I wasn’t trustworthy
from the start
that’s one of the many things
we have in common

Soon we’ll draw back
the curtain on this fallacy
and that’s always been just fine with me
I’ve only been following through
on a dream I once had
where I was happy with you
too bad, I could’ve sworn
I could almost hear
the music flowing from our jukebox
whose lights I was just beginning to see
floating through the clouds

Tied down
to a quiet place
a warm whisper of the world
we’d build castles upon
and out there
where the darkness bites back
we’d take to the woods
with nylon strings
in our fingers
just to tie up all the trees
and meet the man dressed in green
who’d hand us green leaves
in exchange for our dreams
all those ideas
we’d wreck whole ships upon
just to see them breathe

Well I’d climb the lighthouse
I’d run the circus ring
and I’d buy your heart out
just to hear you sing

Cornered in your corner
closing your eyes
to the world that spreads its seams
sure to be something you’ve dreamed

Crooning out your rhymes
hiding under a window
climbing up a cherry tree
blossoming in words
writing down notes to her screams

Flying through the sunlit
lids behind your eyes
all the lines you saw in smiles
and the times she knew what was wrong
but you knew what was right
When you blew her mind
and she saidMake your mind up
decide what you’re looking to find
Make your mind up
and change your escape plan
because you’re running straight into mine