The Adventure Continues…

Bill Murray

One of the biggest cliches regarding Hollywood and film is that “original material is dead”. To the people who feel that way, I would recommend going to their nearest theater and checking out Room and Bridge of Spies. We do seem to receive news on a daily basis of an upcoming reboot or sequel to a classic that’s either been long overdue or way too late.

Some of these projects are exciting and give us something to look forward to. Others just make you shake your head and ask…”Why?”

A remake to a film or franchise can be refreshing. Most of us are Shawshanked (naturally forced to sit and watch the rest of the way through, no matter the time) whenever Ocean’s Eleven comes on TV, the George Clooney version and not the 1960 Frank Sinatra one. Did you see the Footloose remake though? Neither did I.

There are a number of reboots and sequels coming to theaters in the next year or so. Many of the original titles are decades old. I’ll here to separate what’s worth the hype and what’s not.

Yes!

(Movies To Look Forward To)

Zoolander 2 (2016)

Although the original was released 15 years before this sequel hits theaters, it still works because the two stars NEVER AGE. Seriously, whatever moisturizer these guys are using makes 15 years look like 5.

…and they’re killing off Bieber, so at least the movie has that going for it. Just avoid anything the Anchorman did. Seriously.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Aside from jerks who lack imagination, everyone is looking forward to this film and rightfully so. The build up and marketing for Episode VII has been remarkably. While it’s been over 30 years since Han Solo was unfrozen from carbonite on the screen, chills ran down my spine hearing him say “…we’re home”, alongside a Chewbacca roar.

Returning to a set that isn’t so dependent on CGI and green screen like Episodes I-III has audiences excited. It’s also fun for both new and old generations of fans to see new characters on new adventures with old ones.

Spider-Man (2017)

I, like many, was left with a really bad taste in my mouth after Spider-Man 3. It bothered me so much that I didn’t even see the Andrew Garfield version until I happened upon it on FX like a month ago…and I still didn’t feel like I missed out.

Now that Spider-Man is home in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, my spidey senses are tingling again (yeah, I said it). We’ll get our first look at the reboot edition in the highly anticipated Captain America: Civil Waras he chooses a side between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. This means we won’t have to go through ANOTHER origin radioactive spider bite story when Peter Parker gets his solo film in 2017. We also know he’ll be in high school played by an actor who is actually in the appropriate age-range, Tom Holland. Tobey Maguire and Garfield were both in their very late twenties when they played high school Peter Parker.

It will be fun to see how the new Spider-Man fits into the Marvel/Avengers story going forward and who he will face off with. Hopefully NOT the Green Goblin for a 3rd time.

Ghostbusters (2016)

I really don’t get why the idea of this film is so controversial. It’s an expansion of the Ghostbusters universe and features a female dominant cast with Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy and current SNL cast members Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones. Bridesmaids director/Freaks and Geeks writer Paul Feig is teaming up with Parks and Recreation for what’s meant to be a series of new Ghostbusters films that Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson have not only signed off on, but plan to appear in as well.

Also, Chris Hemsworth is their receptionist, so…there’s that.

NOPE!

(Movies Nobody Asked For)

Momento

AMBI Pictures, run by Andrea Iervolino and Monika Bacardi, announced this week that they will be financing a remake of Christopher Nolan’s breakout film, Momento. In the statement breaking the news, Bacardi said:

“Memento is a masterpiece that leaves audiences guessing not just throughout the film, but long after as well, which is a testament to its daring approach.”

Then leave the damn thing alone! Better yet, just rerelease it theaters because it only made $25 million initially and was regarded as a modern classic right after. You can’t tell me though that anyone was asking for a new take or reimagining of this story.

Point Break (2015)

I’m convinced there is an evil group of film backers who want to remake Patrick Swayze’s whole filmography and in the worst ways possible. This is Exhibit A.

I understand there are different “extreme sports” being portrayed (snowboarding instead of surfing), but you could simply call the movie something else and change the character names to make it more appealing…Ya know, like The Fast and the Furious or something like that.

Here’s the original 1991 trailer.

“Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true…”, like a remake to this movie with worse actors.

Road House

This is Exhibit B in the case for a Swayze movie conspiracy…

All we know about this movie is that Ronda Rousey has been casted to play Swayze’s character. A columnist for GQ, Jack Moore (who LOVES this idea), says this should work because “Ronda Rousey could end up being the new Patrick Swayze!”

…

Okay, I’m back from throwing up.

I’m not an MMA fan so I don’t share the adoration for Rousey as many people do. I also didn’t see The Entourage movie and don’t feel like I’m missing out. I have seen the other films she’s appeared in and don’t really want to again. I know that she’s the one thing that UFC has to promote itself and that she wants to join WWE. And like I said regarding the new Point Break, you can make the “Rousey as a bouncer” movie and not call it ‘Road House’. Rousey herself doesn’t sound all that confident about doing the film after telling reporters, “The worst thing that’s going to happen is, is that I’ll really suck and just disgrace the name of Swayze and ‘Road House,’ and everyone will hate me.”

+1 for self awareness.

Top Gun 2

I need this photo to have Maverick giving a thumbs down.

The original is almost 30 years old. Yeah, Tom Cruise is in fantastic shape and still kicking ass in the Mission Impossible franchise and Jack Reacher, but you’re not going to bring either Goose or Tony Scott back to get me excited for this sequel. There’s also a lot of confusion as to whether Cruise will even accept the offer to play Maverick again…Val Kilmer’s already editing his Facebook statuses about it, so it will probably go straight to DVD or VOD.

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

Will Smith isn’t signed up for this film so neither am I. Seriously, you could air it on SyFy after the next Sharknado and it will get as much hype as it would going to theaters.

(Sidenote: Not included is the long rumored Space Jam 2. Personally, I don’t mind if kids today get to see one featuring LeBron James because many of them weren’t even born while Michael Jordan was playing basketball. Just let that sink in…)

Any other reboots and sequels that interest you or make you sick? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.

My relationship with Saturday Night Live is at the point where I need to delete their number, block them on all forms of social media, and cringe whenever their name comes up in conversation.

I loved SNL. Not L-U-V. Not loosely. I had genuine affection for a sketch show that I could bond over with my dad, laugh about with my friends, and break the ice with strangers by referencing classic characters and lines. When have you been able to do that with this current cast? Kate McKinnon’s “Hillary Clinton” maybe, and then what? Another sour-faced Taran Killam creation?

Rather than develop memorable characters or be funny anymore, this current brand of SNL is all about what’s trendy and what might be viral the next day. Social media practically wrote last Saturday’s “Larry David as Bernie Sanders” cold open on the night of the Democratic Debate.

Then host Tracy Morgan was reunited with his 30 Rock cast mates for his monologue. That was terrific! Understanding how far Morgan has come since his near fatal bus accident over a year ago, it was a special moment for him and his fans. What was note-worthy after the monologue though? I changed the channel two sketches later when the writers were resorting to poop jokes and more cutaways to awkward Keenan Thompson reactions.

It’s not the Saturday Night Live I grew up with. Being a kid in the 90’s, I had Wayne’s World, Operaman, Matt Foley, and yes, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. Characters like that made me so interested in the past and all the superstars that were produced from the show like John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy and Gilda Radner. That all made me romanticize about Second City in Chicago and how I could eventually see performers there show up on NBC every Saturday nights.

Outside of McKinnon and maybe Pete Davidson, there’s nobody in the current cast that makes me excited for what they can do after Saturday Night Live. There isn’t a Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Bill Hader or Kristen Wiig. You couldn’t pay me to suffer through another Kyle Mooney “I’m a nervous kid giving a high school presentation” bit. I’m sure Cecily Strong, Aidy Bryant, and Vanessa Bayer will do fine in complimentary roles in the future, but I’m not tuning in or buying a movie ticket because of them. And Jay Pharoah’s impressions have gone from “wow, that’s dead on,” to “oh look, it’s Jay Pharoah as Jay Pharoah trying to be someone else.”

You also know it’s not your kind of show anymore when saying something critical about SNL on Twitter turns into having to block every One-Directioner, Belieber, and Demi Lovato fan that lives-and-dies by things like that, and wants you to know it. That’s right. SNL is the Justin Bieber of television. They make headlines over quality for ratings. Choosing Miley Cyrus to host your season premiere and to give Donald Trump an entire episode is more than enough proof of that. I certainly don’t plan on watching the Trump episode, but I would find some comfort in reading the next morning that musical guest Sia went Sinead O’Connor on a photo of him.

The 40th Anniversary Special last winter was everything. I hadn’t laughed that hard in years, thanks to the Celebrity Jeopardy reprisal, Bill Murray singing, and Wayne Campbell telling Kanye to sit down. They played the hits, just like you’d want to hear at classic rock band’s concert. There were clips of sketches that have lasted over four decades, and hardly anything from the current cast. It was great. It also reminded me that any of the better moments on the show recently had to do with a former cast member making a surprise appearance or hosting…and that Colin Jost still sucks.

Rather than waste more time on a Saturday evening or DVR space, I have to let SNL go. The fact I felt compelled to write over 700 words on the topic is probably a pretty good reason to (and probably get some help as well). Maybe SNL will change for the better. Maybe it will be funny again. The healthier thing for me, and perhaps you, to do is to not wait and see.

Can you relate? Want to talk me off the ledge? Let me know on Twitter and Facebook.

From afar, I’ve admired what the Chicago Cubs are doing. Not just at the plate and from the mound, but also from a promotional standpoint. Rather than trot out any famous person who can afford a ticket with what they find between their couch cushions, the Cubs had players who appreciate where the team is now and put in blood, sweat and tears wearing the blue pinstripes to throw out first pitches in Games 3 and 4.

After Hall of Famer Ryne Sandberg and 2-time All-Star Kerry Wood kicked off each game, the Cubs utilized their new video boards at Wrigley Field with videos of the late Ernie Banks and Harry Caray singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” That’s classy. That’s also what they should do from now on, but that’s a discussion for another day. (Never let Ryan Dempster do his impression of Will Ferrell’s impression of Harry Caray again)

Amidst the bat-flipping, opposing pitcher name chanting, and hardcore partying, we’ve seen the celebrity faces that we expected (some dreaded) to see at the ballpark. Billy Corgan and his new get-off-my-lawn attitude. Northside/Southside flipping John Cusack. And the worst front-runner on the planet, Jim Belushi (I cringe typing his name like he’s Voldemort). New assistant to Cubs President Theo Epstein (probably) Eddie Vedder has been fun. As an avid Pearl Jam fan, I get a kick out of him partying as hard as the players after each game.

Eddie Vedder is standing on the mound, double-fisting drinks and taking pictures with anyone who comes up and asks.

It’s also hard to imagine that Bill Murray isn’t too far away, despite his media tour next week for the upcoming release of Rock the Kasbah. If anything, he could make it an epic cross promotion for his film and the MLB playoffs.

Vedder and Murray are awesome but it’s time to bring out the big hitters to the seats in Chicago, and not just at Wrigley Field. Last summer, I countered recently-outed heavyweight racist Hulk Hogan’s baiting for angry Blackhawks fans during the Stanley Cup with my own list of better celebrity hockey fans. Those mentioned in that list (CM Punk, Mr. T, Vince Vaughn, etc) get a hat-tip, but the following names will represent star power that we’d rather see regularly, similar to the likes at New York and Los Angeles events.

1. Harrison Ford

We’re talking about Han Solo AND Indiana Jones here. How can you deny the idea of either baseball stadium in Chicago playing the “Imperial Death March” music announcing the Yankees lineup, then following it with a shot of Harrison Ford behind home plate with the Rebel Victory score over it? Maybe it’s a the geek in me, but any opportunity to implement Star Wars, especially with the new film coming out, is super sexy to me.

Note: I also refer to White Sox first baseman Jose Abreu as #Baseball Jedi, so there’s that.

Ford has Chicago in his blood, being born here and spending his college summers working on a boat in Burnham Park Harbor or managing the first Crate and Barrel on Wells. In an Michigan Ave Magazine interview, Ford said:

“I’ve been out in Los Angeles for 35 years, and I think there are some things about my upbringing that reflect the values and the attitudes of the Midwest…. a kind of work ethic that I find particular to the Midwest. I can say that those were important, formative years for me, living in Chicago.”

Cool, Indy. I’ll buy you a beer next time you’re in town, if it gets you to a ballgame.

2. Nick Offerman

Currently featured in the new season of Fargo, Nick Offerman isn’t slowing down since the end of Ron Swanson and Parks and Recreation. Offerman isn’t shy about his baseball allegiance either.

There are many grown men and women who would scream like a 90’s tween at a Backstreet Boys concert if they saw the Joliet native, University of Illinois grad, and professional canoe craftsman down the foul line at a ballgame.

If he’s willing, during a the Crosstown Cup series, there’s plenty of bacon-on-a-stick awaiting his consumption at US Cellular Field.

Double-thick maple bacon. You know you want it, Nick…

3. Gillian Anderson

Yep, X-Files fans, Scully is from Chicago. With TheX-Files revival series coming soon to FOX, they’d be making a huge mistake not having Gillian Anderson at Wrigley Field fending off the paranormal and extraterrestrial that I’m sure some Cubs fans still believe will prevent the Cubs from going to the World Series…At least come out to a Men and/or Women’s basketball game at DePaul, where Anderson finished college…something she and I have in common.

When his term is up, I would welcome the president taking in as much Bulls basketball, White Sox baseball, Bears football, and whatever as he wants.

5. John C. Reilly

Would you really argue with me on this? Who doesn’t want south side native John C. Reilly in their corner?

That’s exactly who you want in games against New York when Billy Crystal, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Jay-Z and Beyonce are behind the opponent’s bench.

6. Stephen Colbert

For someone who has spent a lot of his career recently in New York City, Stephen Colbert has not been bashful at all about his time in Chicago. Leading up to the new Late Show’s premiere, Colbert dedicated multiple podcasts to his years at Northwestern and doing improv in Chicago. While interviewing Jane The Virgin star Gina Rodriguez this week, the two bonded over their love for the city and living there. Most notably, as tongue-in-cheek as it sounded, Colbert predicted a Cubs World Series win…a proclamation he believes “in no way will come back to haunt” him.

If the NLCS goes to New York, I would be shocked if Colbert wasn’t in attendance. Heck, he should catch a weekend game in Chicago if the opportunity is there.

The 67th Primetime Emmy Award Nominations were announced Thursday morning and without Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul or Anna Gunn to be seen, the “Post-Breaking Bad” Era has officially begun.

This year, the Emmys recognize the best programs and performances on both television and streaming services between June 1st, 2014 and May 31st, 2015. HBO’s “Game of Thrones” leads the field with 24 nominations.

Along with the official list of nominees, I’ll make my WAY TOO EARLY picks to win. During the week of the actual awards show, September 20th, I’ll revisit the picks, see if my mind has changed, and further explain my picks.