Is there anything worse than humanity? Between the Charleston shootings, the rash of killings of unarmed men by law enforcement, and ISIS, our species has fewer and fewer unashamed apologists.

Surely humanity is the worst.

Until and unless of course you look at any other species. Then, holy crap, all bets are off. We start to look good and suddenly everyone remembers fish have yet to produce a Michelangelo.

You see, scientists have recently discovered Macrostotum hystrix, a worm so disgusting you’re liable to start thinking that even jazz fusion wasn’t so bad by comparison.

As Discovery News’s Jennifer Viegas put it, “One of the most unusual methods of reproduction has just been observed in a flatworm that uses its needle-like penis to stab itself in the head, which leads to egg fertilization.” And to existential horror, she neglects to add.

Like this:

Compare and contrast to the original video, by Extreme. It sets the bar high, with over 75 million YES MILLION views, but then ballads by metal bands are always best ballads. Beth. Angie. The list goes on. No-one knows why.

Like this:

Been awhile since we had one of these, eh? But been quite a week for it (I’ll share the rest later). After basically having retired from volunteering in the support forums for several weeks, this popped up on the radar today. First, I commented on another blogger’s post about a spammer, then the spammer spam-liked all my comments and made some kind of insult which the blogger immediately wiped. Then spamboy send me a message via my contact form:

To which I naturally replied that I have gotten death threats from ISIS, and that sort of thing doesn’t bother me. Spamboy wasn’t happy with that, though, so he took it to the technical support forums where, as I said above, I have been largely absent for some weeks.

Timethief and Raincoaster

So can any “blogger” claim they are a “help” here in the support forum and use this place to paste their “help links” everywhere to gain whitehat SEO like timethief does? Or is she special and the only blogger allowed to hawk these forums and “gain” her page ranking in this way?

Thank you for your message on the contact form, and also for the personal insults on that other blogger’s blog. As I said to you via email, I have gotten death threats from ISIS and your butthurt is of no interest to me.

If you wish to follow the recommended procedure, please fill out this form and stuff it up your ass. Your swollen head fits up there, so I know there’s a lot of room.

You can no longer exchange secure messages or send each other passwords.

Passpack

Gee, what SHOULD I have done, when I had the chance?

In related news, their political reporter (formerly Anonymous reporter) Dell Cameron tried to fisk an article of mine last night, but his tweet had a glaring spelling mistake and apparently he thinks it’s still 2014. Then he deleted it.

Then he tweeted this.

To their disadvantage, people no longer raise grievance in private, and no one is afforded the chance to be humble. Thanks, Twitter.

Some people spend their whole lives bored. They might not even know it, but they are. They get up in the morning, go to work, head home, eat dinner, go to bed – this same tired routine playing out endlessly, endlessly, day after day until they find themselves in the ground. Some people will never realize they wasted their life until it’s already over.

Not me. I lived my life to the fullest. I did everything I ever wanted to – ate the finest foods, traveled to exotic lands, slept with beautiful women – because I understood what most people don’t. I knew that everyone is handed this one chance to experience the world as it spins in the darkness of space, but more importantly I knew that you only get so many spins.