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WRITERS WRITE... WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ National Mole Day

Z:(Stands, folds his fingers around an imaginary jacket like an old world
statesman, and peacocks about the office)Allow me to bore you.

A:Bore me away to where?

Z:Not that bore the other bore.

A:(Looks confused but nods to give the go ahead)

Z:(He pauses before the computer and stares diligently at the screen, his
voice booming) Today is National Mole
Day.Celebrated annually on October 23
from 6:02 a.m. to 6:02 p.m., Mole Day commemorates Avogadro's Number (6.02 x
1023), which is a basic measuring unit in chemistry. Mole Day was created as a
way to foster interest in chemistry. Schools throughout the United States and
around the world celebrate Mole Day with various activities related to
chemistry and/or moles.(Pauses, clears
his throat, coughs, begins to choke on phlegm, spits into a hankie, and
continues)For a given molecule, one
mole is a mass (in grams) whose number is equal to the molar mass of the
molecule. For example, the water molecule has an molar mass of 18, therefore
one mole of water weighs 18 grams. Similarly, a mole of neon has a molar mass
of 20 grams. In general, one mole of any substance contains Avogadro's Number
of molecules or atoms of that substance. This relationship was first discovered
by Amadeo Avogadro (1776-1858) and he received credit for this after his death.(Zi points to the computer screen)Bored done!Maybe!

A:Interesting... not!(Face
brightens as she finds her own mirth)What
do you do when life gives you moles... make le-mole-ade.

Z: (Sighs the sigh of the superior
witter, in jest, but sounds serious)Not the right mole.

A:What did the mother say to her mole son? ... Mole the grass!

Z:Again, not the right mole.

A:What's the mole's favorite Disney Movie? ... The Little Molemaid.

Z:Holy Moley, Batman!

A:(Thinking his response was encouragement to go on, she does)What does Avogadro get when he mixes ice
cream, chocolate syrup, and malted milk together? ...A
chocolate moleted.

Z:What's blind and moley?

A:Every mole.

Z: (Gets that crazed look in his
eyes, puffs out his chest and without hardly breathing begins to exclaim with
vim and vigor)Why is it bad to tell
mole jokes? ... It's mole-itically incorrect. What is a mole's favorite movie? ...
The Green Mole.What did Avogadro teach
his students in math class? ... Moletiplication.What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the
summer? ... Watermolens.How many guacs
are in a bowl of guacamole? ... Avocados number! If a mole of moles were digging a mole of
holes, what would you see? ... A mole of molasses! (Puffs and huffs, a bit winded...)

A:(Flips out her cell phone, finger ready to speed dial 911)

Z:(Holds up a hand to stop her, while the other hand lays flat against his
chest.Slowly, he turns, inch by inch,
step by step, and then spins about, calm once more, but not fully rationally as
he continues his rant)What does
Avogadro put in his hot chocolate? ... Marsh-mole-ows! How does Avogadro write to his friends? ... By
e-mole! Why is Avogadro so rich? ... He's a multi-mole-ionare! Why was there only one Avogadro? ... When they
made him, they broke the Mole.What kept
Avogadro in bed for two months? ... Moleonucleosis.What do you get when you have a bunch of
moles acting like idiots? ... A bunch of Moleasses.What line from Shakespeare do high school
moles have to memorize? ... "To mole or not to mole, this is the
question." How do moles finance
their homes? ... With a molergage!What did Avogadro invent for his wife to use
as a night cream? ... Oil of Molay(Takes in another deep breath.Determination etched on his face... sweat
popping out on his brow... eyes bulging... chest double bulging with grit and
girth)

A:(Again Ang is ready to call in the cavalry... keeps a stern eye on him
as he gulps in great draughts of air until he catches his breath)

Z:(There is no stopping him now.He
is on a quest, fully loaded and ready to spit every ounce of mole wit in his
brainiac arsenal)What did one mole say
to the other? ... We make great
chemistry together.Why did Avogadro
stop going to a chiropractor on October 24th? ... He was only tense to the 23rd!Why is Avogadro in love with Cindy Crawford? ...
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and
she has a mole).What did the generous
mole say when his friends crashed his party? ... The mole the merrier!What is a mole's favorite television show? ...
Molerose place.What is Avogadro's
favorite day of the week? ... Moleday.How would you describe a stinky chemist? ... Mole-odorous.What kind of test do student moles like best?
... Mole-tiple choice.How much does
Avogadro exaggerate? ... He makes
mountains out of mole hills.What element do moles love to study in
chemistry? ... Molybdenum.What is Avogadro's favorite kind of music? ...
Rock 'N' Mole.(He
lifts his fists into the air, pounds them downward, determined to wring out the
last of it)

A:(In awe, she watches and mutters encouragement)Go Zi!Go!

Z:What did Avogadro get when he mixed ice cream, chocolate syrup, and milk
together? ... A chocolate Molted.What
happens when a mole bites a dog? ... He becomes Moleicious!Avogadro loved to watch MASH. Which character
did he like most? ... Father Molecahy. What was Avogadro's favorite Indian tribe? ...
The Molehawks.What are mammoles? ... Four-legged
animoles!Why can't Avogadro have pets. ...
Because he will mole them.

A:Enough mole inanity!

Z:Told you I'd bore you!

BOOK
NOOKIE BY VIXEN BRIGHT AND ZACHARY ZANE EXCERPT

“Fear not my judgment.”

“I don’t.”

“Was it love that hurt so deep?”

“I was young and thought so.”

“The trauma from lost passion leaves more than
physical scars.”

She didn’t respond, but instead gave into a period
of silence. She didn’t want him seeing her as a victim of love’s torture. She
would have preferred he’d view her as an alluring woman, a sensuous being he’d
crave and long to fuck.

“The ride normally wouldn’t take this long, but the
snow—” He flipped his hand upward and shrugged. “It will probably be an hour or
so more. Is there anything I can do to ease your discomfort?”

What discomfort had he seen? Could he tell that her
physical aches were nothing compared to her pussy’s yearnings? What was wrong
with her? She needed to protect herself. “Nay,” she said, trying to keep the
quiver from her tone. Drat, his concern frayed her brittle emotions. She
reasoned she did not need that. Tears threatened to flow, tears and the need to
curl up into this stranger’s strong arms. His formable manner, sophisticated
brawn and soft touch were an inviting hideaway as much as his natural
sensuality was an invitation to taste and explore.

***
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