[QUOTE=IrishJoan;1671432]
luvmyfam ~ I can't help but giggle. I don't know how I've gotten away with no "artwork" drawn on our wall. I have three kids and they paint and color constantly but only on paper. However, you should see our table!

[QUOTE]

Joan,

I WISH Maria would just stick to paper. but the walls are white, and I guess a much bigger, better canvas!! I told my husband we should just put up butcher paper on all the walls. He didn't like the idea because he felt it would encourage her. Maybe, but at least the walls would be protected!!

JET

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JennT

"How can you say there are too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers."-Mother Teresa of Calcutta

I have a 14-year-old daughter, only child. She is currently trying to talk me into letting her date in a couple months at 15. The only problem...the guys she is interested in are 16-17...we've all been there huh? I guess I will end up giving in since she is the only 14-year-old that isn't allowed to date that she knows

Sometimes I think a boy would have been easier!

You can stick to your guns. I read a few suggestions about group dating or in-home dates, and I think they're good ideas.

I had my first "boyfriend" at age 14. My first kiss, too. We were never on a DATE-date together. We even went to different schools, but our families were friends. The only time we saw each other was church and when our families got together. It was very safe, though it didn't stop him from trying to "cop a feel" sometimes. Thank goodness that relationship only lasted 1-1/2 mos. It was already enough time that spiteful people who didn't like me ('cause I really was a "good girl") made up horrible rumors that were NOT TRUE.

My parents' standard was only group and in-home "dates" until we were well into driver's ed and could drive. Their preference was for us to wait until we had our licenses. The whole reasoning was that if we got into a bad situation on a date, we could shove the guy out of the car and drive off somewhere to at least make a call.

The other thing is that my parents always welcomed ALL our friends (even the boyfriends or romantic prospects) into our home. They felt that if we were doing wholesome, fun things with the family, a lot could be avoided, and they were right.

My in-laws, on the other hand, never seem to want ANY of their kids to date or have boyfriends/girlfriends until finishing with college...Even after. Dh has a sister one year younger than me who has seriously had to push and go against the parents' wishes and bring her on-again boyfriend to visit (She's 32, a college graduate, who has held down very good jobs). Seriously. I met my dh my freshman year in college, and we've been together since November '92. We had one month long break-up my sophomore year. But all that time his dad was really rotten about me. As a result, I was only in their home twice before we were married in '95.

Almost all the kids in their house have gone through sneaking out in the middle of the night to see boyfriends/girlfriends. That NEVER happened in our house...because our dates were welcome in!! I totally disagree with my in-laws' approach. They spend so much time worrying about their kids dating, that they haven't a clue the major trouble a couple of their sons have gotten into while hanging out with their GUY friends (no alternative lifestyle stuff or anything...just TROUBLE--underage drinking, drinking & driving, a couple friends involved with drugs who influenced dh's brothers, crazy adrenaline-rush stunts, etc). If it's a same-gender friendship it's harmless in my father-in-law's mind. It's like there is nothing worse for a person than to fall in love! It's ridiculous. That being said, I do get along with my in-laws. There are just some parenting things I totally disagree with them on.

I keep bringing up the dating thing with my husband because I want to make sure he does not decide to pull what his dad did. It sets things up for trouble, it really does. I'd like to stick with the standards my parents had. Only in-home/group dates at 13-14, preferably group dates older than that, and no driving, one on one dates until the kids are solid drivers and can take care of themselves in a bad situation.

Oh, and it's really no easier with a boy. You still worry about them making the right choices in life and being good guys who treat girls with respect. You worry about them getting hurt, about judgement (I think guys act before they think more than girls), etc. This parenting thing is tough!
JET

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JennT

"How can you say there are too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers."-Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Went horseback riding this weekend with the family and outlet mall shopping. We had a good time. My hubby also bought a classic car (which he has wanted for nearly 20 years!). So everyone is happy...and my scale went up to prove what a good weekend I had (let's just say Dunkin Doughnuts.....'nuff said?).

Luvmyfam: I guess it probably comes down to the child and the decisions he/she makes in the end (combined with direction from the parents). My mom was strict in some ways, but in others....OMG! My first kiss/boyfriend was when I was 14 (he was 19 and our minister's grandson...so she thought he was a "nice" boy). Is there any such thing as a "nice" boy when hormones kick in It ended about a week after it began when my underdeveloped self was dumped for a college girl I guess we are leaning toward public school next year since she is so miserable in a homeschool environment. I have fought it for 3 years, but she just hates it and wants to go to regular school. She calls herself a "homeschool freak". I tell her those "freaks" will rule the world someday and all the popular kids will be like "Welcome to Dollar General". I will probably end up driving her to the highest rated public school in the area, as the one in our area is not the best. I guess I need to accept the fact that her future is in HER hands...I can only give guidance.

Hmwrknmom2: Maybe the bisexual thing is a southern trend...I live near Knoxville. I think that lifestyle is promoted on TV...notice how the girls dance together. I always say that you can't just be a wh*** anymore, you have to be a wh*** with men and women. Wonder what is next? It is very unpopular with the boys to be bisexual, but all the boys seem to encourage it with the girls. I guess we haven't come so far after all huh?

Roadrunner: Unfortunately, the car drop-off date is complicated...she only wants to date boys over 16 and will not give anyone else a look. Sounds like I'm in for it huh?

__________________Don't want to look like the Michelin Man in a Bikini this year! (re-re-re-start date: Jan 3rd, 2010)

michelinwoman ~ yep, you're in for it;-). The girl is drop dead gorgeous! I love this thread as it helps prepare me for what is ahead... YIKES! Truthfully, it scares the #$%@&* out of me.

I do agree with you on saying that it all comes down to the individual child. Parents provide direction but there are no guarantees. Someone just told me about a book out about the influence siblings have on each other. It sounds like a really interesting read as it claims that you learn more from your siblings than anyone else in the world.

Regarding public school... I was *terrified* of sending my kids to public school. We were considering Catholic school but when my oldest son was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 6, we realized that the public school would have more help available for him. Thankfully, we live in an excellent school district but I was still skeptical. I grew up in a rural area and I thought all of the schools near the city were filled with big bad guys with switchblades. Needless to say, I was wrong;-). Fear of the unknown.... So, we started him in public school and have loved it from the start. I cannot say enough good things about the staff. We've stayed in our teeny, tiny little house for as long as possible just because of this school. We're moving this summer to a new house where we'll be able to walk to school each day. The school district that we're moving into is considered to be an even better one than we're currently in but that remains to be seen. Sorry this is so long-winded but my point is that DH and I looked at all of the possibilities and it all came down to what was best for DS. Each child is so very different. My two little girls are the type of children that would do fine in any school. DS is a whole different story. Putting him a Catholic school would have been horrible for him.
It's a hard decision to make...

Hey Lauren what a great idea to create this thread. I am such a creature of habit, I just realize you started it!
Hi everyone!I have posted on 30something for a while I just realize this thread was here!
My son is now 7 yrs. Old. Hubby and I adopted him when he was 5 weeks old, he was a great baby, no problems, he was a drug baby meth was the drug of choice for our birthmother, he started showing troublesome sings at about 18 months old. Right before he was 2 he was diagnosed ADHD, lots of troubles, I didnít believe it was just ADHD there was something else. Between 4 and 5 yrs old he was diagnosed bipolar, it has not been easy. Lots and lots of behavioral problems both at home, at school, with neighbors all around us, it has not been an easy thing. Doctors and school are suggesting and recommending residential treatment, he can be very aggressive and out of control. We are not sure we want to put him in residential treatment he is much to young. We are working around the clock to find the right help for him and keep him at home.
Phantastica it sounds to me like you raised a pretty good boy!
And very tall! Sorry you only get to see him 1/7 of the time 
Hi Angy! Your kids are adorable!
WAnnaBsize7 your daughter looks like a doll, she is very pretty! I can imagine how easy it would be to spoiled her!
Sounds to me like you are a great mommy!
Michelle 707Goddess you are a strong woman! I know what its like to have a bipolar child and ainít easy.

Babybelly Angela I admire teachers, I have no idea where do they find the energy and paciance. You have very smart kids, most have very good genes!

Hamptonsnrh Wow you have your hands full, I never heard of precocious puberty, must be very difficult to deal with, how do explain that to a little girl her age????

Cheryl71 I wish I had my child (adopted) when I was younger, I probably would had more energy than I do now.
jnn0529 My hat goes off to single parents, I have no idea how you guys manage, it is hard raising kids this days with a 2 parent home, let alone a single parent.
Michelle Bryant your kids are sooo cute! You should be so proud of them! They are very smart!!! I am so sorry about the situation with this girl, I think she shouldíve been punished, I canít understand the school the teachers, the principals, it is ridiculous. The pictures are beautiful! Thanks for sharing

Vanessa he is a cuttie!

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvmyfam

I heard of a situation with a public school where 6th graders were having sex on a bus while other kids were watching. It's INSANE and it's not something I'm willing to put my kids through. It's not about hiding them from the world. It's about guiding them so they can be decent people living in this crazy world of ours.

JET

luvmyfam you have your hands full! Your story with the markers made me laugh and remember things Sean did when he was younger, at the time they are happening they donít look funny at all, but later we do laugh! It is great you are homeschooling, I agree there is too much crap going on in our public schools. I hear the stories about the school even teaching kids sex ed including how to have oral sex.

Michelinewoman, I like Laurenís idea for dating, if you eve allow it, I think she is too young. She is a beautiful girl. NO DATING!!!
Hi jen your kids are very cute, my youngest sister now 34 (in Mexico City) is down syndrome, they are the sweetest people!

Karen in response to the dating thing I am right there with you gal, my son is only 7 who know what is in store for us!!! LOL, donít want to even think about it.
Wow your step daughter is very smart, that is great! Sorry you canít be there when she gets home from school. The pictures of your daughters walking is too cute!!! And the picture of your step daughter is just great!
Children with down syndrome are very special. My youngest sister is downs.
Thanks for sharing.

IrishJoan I agree with you 100% do agree with you on saying that it all comes down to the individual child. Parents provide direction but there are no guarantees, thatís right there are none!
I am so happy for you and the new school, I hope your kids just blossom! It sounds like there is no way they couldnít

Heidi who is 16 years old. I thought that she was okay and had a good head on her shoulders. Until........................ she admitted to doing weed with her friends and having sex with her boyfriend. Inside I was totally shocked, upset, angry, and every other emotion out there. Then I took her to the doctor and put her on the pill. I know that she is young, but, I cannot have a teenage pregnant daughter, because,

Raymond is 13 years old and is autistic. He has the language of a 1 or 2 year old. Raymond has to be under supervision 24 hours a day. He gets into totally everything and has no language skills. He is considered a low-functioning autistic. Unfortunately he only goes to school for 2 hours a day because the school board does not know what to do with him.

I know that the above post may sound mean and vicious, but I am tired and frustrated. I know that there are other people that have it worse than I do, but, I also wanted to be a hockey mom, or whatever, unfortunately, that will never happen.

Time goes by so fast.

I am really sorry for venting here. I am having some personal issues here with hubby having broken his leg in two places. I am getting absolutely nothing done, and feel that I am being pulled from every which way.