Choosing Happy

I believe that "happy" is a choice. Just as sad, mad, and scared are. We can choose to be happy just as we can choose to be angry. While we cannot always control the things that happen to us, we do have control over our reactions to them.

It was a good hair day! Something that always makes me happy! | Source

Do you want to be Happy?

Sometimes bad things happen to us, and we temporarily lose our happy. Sometimes nothing happens, but we still have trouble finding it. It's not always easy to choose happy. In fact, it's often the more difficult route. It can take time and lots of practice to train ourselves (and remind ourselves) to choose happy.

First and foremost is to decide that we really DO want to be happy. There are still many people who would rather wallow in self-pity, hatred, or anger. If that is the case, these examples probably won't help.

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy.

— Groucho Marx

Exercises For Choosing Happy

What makes you happy?

How do you learn?

How do you remember?

Think about situations that make you happy.

Do you need to read and write something to learn it?

Make a vision board or hang sayings and posters to remind you.

Which music makes you happy?

Does it sink in better if you listen and speak aloud?

Keep your iPod/listening devices charged and handy.

Do you have a "happy place?"

Will role playing or watching an example be a help?

Make a mantra (or several)

Once you have figured out the best way for you to remember, the real work begins!

A Beautiful Day

Do you choose Happy?

Please use the comment section below to add any other choices you may have.

Here are some examples to get you started on choosing happiness.

Write a mantra. I like the idea of saying it in the morning. I like to remind myself that is going to be a good day. Sometimes, I have to say it repeatedly during the day because some days are easier than others.

Make yourself a playlist of go-to music that you can find easily when you need it. I have stations on Pandora, as well as on my phone that get me ready for many situations.

Make a "Vision Board" or hang reminders around you. When I find a saying or quote that I like, I hang it around my desk, my kitchen, wherever I am sure to see it. I even have a small trinket box, where there are different snippets of paper with all kinds of positive memories or messages on them.

For many people, exercise, yoga, meditation, writing, etc., help them to find their happy. It is important for you to discover what makes you calm and happy, what gives you inner peace, then use it.

My final suggestion here, is to discover and isolate what it is that is keeping you from being happy. This is very broad and can differ from individual to individual. The key is to find your triggers and use the above techniques to thwart them!

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.

— John Lennon

Losing your way

It occurred to me not too long ago, that I have not been very happy. This came as quite a surprise because I have always viewed myself as upbeat, optimistic, sometimes silly and, most of the time…happy! So, what happened? What changed? To be honest, I’m really not sure. No earth-shattering, life-changing event has suddenly come upon me. I could list at least 101 annoying things that are going on in my life, but they are probably no more or no less than the average problems. I think I just forgot to choose happy.

Sometimes just choosing happiness isn't enough

I do want to say here that there are some things in life that can totally throw us. Horrible things that, whether beyond our control or not, may not be as easy to get past. If this is happening to you, please seek the help of a professional. The suggestions in this article are meant for day-to-day issues and struggles. They are to help people practice the mindset of happiness. They can, of course, stand you in good stead if you are already practicing them before a crisis, but they are not a simple solution to a life crisis.

One of My Favorite Versions of Happy

How could this not make you happy?! | Source

Thank you Pharrel Williams!

Pretty much every year, there is a catchy, “feel-good” song that often becomes an overnight sensation. This year, that song is Happy. (I know, I know, you thought I was going to say the other one, just Let it Go!) Not having seen Despicable Me, I wasn’t familiar with the song and wasn’t particularly fond of it when I first heard it. To be perfectly honest, I still don’t really love it. But…what I do like about it is how so many people have embraced it. I have seen videos made by all kinds of organizations and groups. The common thread is that they are happy. How nice is that?!

People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be

— Abraham Lincoln

And one final thought from the incomparable Audrey Hepburn! While I don't entirely agree with the sentiment, it would be fun!

The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters.

Comments

No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

sending

Chitrangada Sharan 4 months agofrom New Delhi, India

Great hub and I agree with you that one can choose to be happy!

Being surrounded by positive people with positive approach towards life, helps a lot.

Children are the best examples in my opinion to refresh and rejuvenate yourself. They do not pile up negative emotions in their heart or mind. And one can be inspired by them.

Thanks for sharing this excellent hub!

Author

Randi Benlulu 5 months agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, Nell! I refreshed it beause I was kind of needing a reminder, too!

Nell Rose 5 months agofrom England

Hi, I have started doing the positive thing in the morning, happy healthy etc, so this was perfect timing for me! great hub Randi!

Author

Randi Benlulu 5 months agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, Audrey! Me, too!

Audrey Howitt 5 months agofrom California

This hub still works for me--we do have to choose happiness--maybe not all the time--but at least some of the time

Author

Randi Benlulu 10 months agofrom Mesa, AZ

Martie, thanks so much for coming back to this. It is a much needed reminder in our current times. I see so many sad faces around me. And, regardless of the validity, there are still so many things that make us happy.

Martie Coetser 10 months agofrom South Africa

Dear btrbell, I had to read this one again. Still convinced that being happy is indeed a choice. Music is the best tool we can use to swing our mood from sad or angry to happy.

Thanks for reminding us that happiness is a reaction we can control.

Author

Randi Benlulu 15 months agofrom Mesa, AZ

Aw, Frank! Thank you! I haven't been on in awhile. I'm still writing but it's mostly in my head and heart . Hopefully soon it willl take to pen and paper again! :)

Frank Atanacio 15 months agofrom Shelton

Well since I haven't seen anything new.. I like to return the visit favor to one of my favorites of your..Bless you :)

Author

Randi Benlulu 20 months agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, Patricia! You are about the best example of someone who chooses happy that I know.

Wishing you and your family a happy, healthy 2016, as well! And many, many angels. Xoxo

Author

Randi Benlulu 20 months agofrom Mesa, AZ

@Perspycacious.

Oops, lol. Where's the edit bot?

Demas W Jasper 20 months agofrom Today's America and The World Beyond

We "stoop" to conquer. That's why I was "stooping by." ; - O

Patricia Scott 20 months agofrom sunny Florida

Back again just to agree 100%....I choose happy every time.

Life is too short to do otherwise.

Hoping all is well with you and that 2016 brings many wonderful things your way.

Angels are once again on the way to you ps

Author

Randi Benlulu 20 months agofrom Mesa, AZ

Exactly, Persoycacious! Like so many things, it's often easier said then done! Thank you for your conment and stooping by! Happy new year!

Author

Randi Benlulu 20 months agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank yiu, Caroline! So nice to pop back in and see old friends here!

Demas W Jasper 20 months agofrom Today's America and The World Beyond

You've nailed the power of thinking positively. Now for the doing.

Caroline Marie 20 months agofrom Close to Heaven

This was very inspirational. Thank you for sharing this. :)

Author

Randi Benlulu 23 months agofrom Mesa, AZ

Audrey, thank you! I am doing ok. I hope you are, as well. I appreciate the visit!

Audrey Howitt 23 months agofrom California

Hope you are doing well! Thank you for brightening my day!

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, sujaya venkatesh! I appreciate the visit and comment.

sujaya venkatesh 2 years ago

only if we choose to be happy shall we truly be happy

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

A valid point, Larry Rankin. I would agree that we don't need to be happy all the time but I'm sure you would agree that there are many people who wallow in self-pity. not because they are depressed or truly sad but because it has become a habit to be mad/sad/dissatisfied.

In my case when I wrote this, I was feeling as if I had gotten more caught up in negative thoughts than positive, hence, trying to find my way back to happy.

Thank you so much for stopping by, reading and commenting. I have been fairly inactive here on hubpages but enjoy meeting new "hubbers"

Larry Rankin 2 years agofrom Oklahoma

Very interesting hub that I agree with for the most part, with a few caveats.

Someone like myself needs to choose sad on occasion in order to be happy. I think that's true of a lot of us to varying degrees. I certainly don't feel like I've lost my way every time I'm sad. Sometimes I'm just fulfilling a necessary function.

That said, we should do our best to choose happy most the time, especially on a professional level. One creed I try to live by is just because I'm having a bad day doesn't mean everyone else has to.

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you so much, Sheila! It was fun to write and collect the quotes and videos!

I understand what you are saying. I wrote this because I was feeling like I lost my happy for a while there. Writing this was somewhat cathartic!

Sheila Brown 2 years agofrom Southern Oklahoma

Wonderful hub! So many of us forget to be happy! We go through our day, not necessarily unhappy, but somewhere in between. This is a great reminder for all of us and I love your videos and pictures!

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you so much, Hannah David Cini! Your comments are much appreciated! Thanks for stopping by my hub!

Hannah David Cini 2 years agofrom Nottingham

What a lovely and upbeat hub. Really encouraging and in depth. I really enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing.

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Audrey (vocal coach) Thank you so much for stopping by and your generous votes!

I am envious of your environment. While I do enjoy some of the hustle and bustle of my suburban neighborhood, I know I would enjoy the peacefulness of cabin in the woods!

I would be honored to link my hub to any of your beautiful hubs!

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you so much, Sunshine! I love to surround myself with happy people! So glad you are here! :)

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you also, Audrey Howitt for sharing my hub!

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you so much, Audrey! You have a great day as well!

Audrey Hunt 2 years agofrom Nashville Tn.

I'm happy that Audrey Howitt is sharing this. :) Absolutely wonderful thoughts for encouraging others to choose happiness. Speaking of which, I wrote a hub a while back on this same topic. When I get a minute, I'll link to this one.

I live in the mountains in a log cabin built among the pines, streams, birds and other off-spring of mother nature. It's impossible not to be happy with an amazing view, fresh air and quiet life.

I love Pharrell's Happy song! I also choose to be happy and I negative vibes enter my positive aura and disrupt the energy! :) Fabulous article...I hope it reaches many unhappy people and helps them realize what they are missing out on! :)

Audrey Howitt 2 years agofrom California

Amen! You made me smile today--and I hope this day is a great one for you!

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Absolutely perfect advice, Perspycacious! Find what makes you happy. It seems to me that many people are too busy finding and indulging in what makes them unhappy!

Demas W Jasper 2 years agofrom Today's America and The World Beyond

I had a very happy evening the other night due to a Hub with video clips of Doris Day, Perry Como, The Rat Pack, and others. I was happy just singing along with the words and music and people I have known for years, and also with the discovery that Johnny Carson could sing very well!

When we are indulging a happy moment, stretch it out, make it last, and treasure the memory of that moment, for it will make you happy again just by thinking about it.

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, Kathi! I couldn't agree with you more. Sometimes the ability to choose is taken away from us for a variety of reasons, including chemical imbalances. Thus hub was geared more for all those silly little things that we can choose to be out not to be grumpy over!

I didn't know you had joined Hubpages. Welcome!

Kathi H 2 years agofrom Gilbert, Arizona

Randi, my friend, you have a beautiful gift for writing. Loved the video of the Pharrell Williams in the retirement home. I agree we all make a choice to be happy and how to live our lives. Just one thought, that even though some make that choice, the choice is often taken from them by chemical imbalances. I encourage anyone who is clinically depressed or has mental challenges to seek help. Things can be better and you can be happy, with help.

Marcy, thank you so much for stopping by! What a great idea! I love that way of thinking and will be applying it as well! I hope you have a wonderful New Year, fuul of amazing accomplishments and lots of happy!

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, Audrey and a very happy new year to you, also!!

Demas W Jasper 2 years agofrom Today's America and The World Beyond

These comments prove it. Who doesn't want to be happy and find out any new clues to adding to the happiness they already have? Great topic.

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Patricia, you are the BEST! Thank you so much for your, as always, generous comments, votes and shares! You have set the most amazing example I have ever seen of "choosing happy"

Thank you so much for the angels and the hub love!

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Martie, thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I'm so sorry I missed this comment earlier! You are, of course, correct that some things can be too devasting to be able to choose happy. Yet, as you said, we can find as many reasons to be positive as negative!

A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you! Wishing for only good things and looking forward to future reads!

Carrie L. Cronkite 2 years agofrom Maine

I love this hub! Happiness is truly a choice. All of us have good days and bad days and have endured some form of devastation in our lives. Choosing to be happy and looking towards the positive is something we can all do regardless of unforeseen circumstances. Negative situations can make us stronger and allow us to help others who have experienced like devastations. Choosing happy makes the world a better place for everyone!

Kiss andTales 2 years ago

My reply may sound a bit strange to your hub ! But this all leads to a future happiness indeed! So I will redirect my reply in the right slot of subject.

Marcy Goodfleisch 2 years agofrom Planet Earth

This whole concept was brought home to me as the new year transitions=ed. I started my year off by writing down 2014 in a positive (happy) way rather than thinking of the hardships. If something was a challenge, I listed it as an accomplishment. Totally reversed by attitude!

Audrey Howitt 2 years agofrom California

Ah--this made me smile! Happy new year!!!

Patricia Scott 2 years agofrom sunny Florida

Awesome!!! That much over used word describes this!!! I am the original Pollyanna so happy is my middle name. Yes, stuff happens and it really is about making the proverbial lemonade.

We can choose to be immobilized by a situation or we can face it and then move on.

I Make My Own Sunshine is the song that speaks loudest as to how I feel.

Sending you much HAPPY today. This should be HOTD .

Voted up++++ g+ tweeted shared

Angels are on the way ps

Martie Coetser 2 years agofrom South Africa

Dear Randi, happiness is indeed a choice, unless something, like the death of a beloved, knocks us down. Then it is like being hurt in a car crash. We have to give Time and People the opportunity to heal us, and we have to follow all advice and guidelines in order to get ourselves well (happy) again.

If I want to be unhappy, I can find 100 reasons. If I want to be happy, I can also find 100 reason.

Merry Christmas to you :)

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, Mary! It's actually about 2 years old and a style I should return to!

Mary Craig 2 years agofrom New York

BTW I love the new hairdo!

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Oh, Mary! Thank you so much! Your attitude and response was exactly my goal with this article! Thank you for reminding me to focus on happy this morning, too!

Mary Craig 2 years agofrom New York

What better way to go through life than being happy? There are days when choosing happy can change the whole climate of the day, days when you can choose to make it a "beautiful day". I'm glad I read this this morning so I can focus on happy today!

Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

That is a great way to think, Chris! If only we wouldn't forget! I sometimes find myself struggling to do just that! Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

Chris Mills 2 years agofrom Maple City, Michigan

Wonderful and practical. Thanks for a simple plan to find and maintain happiness. I know it's a choice, and it is very easy to get comfortable with less happiness in life. I keep focused on the fact that I can't control people, places and events around the world or around me. I can only control my response and actions. That gives me peace and happiness. Thanks again for good reminders.

I love your suggestions and exercises for choosing happy thoughts. It is what I strive for each day.

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, Nell! Much appreciated!

Randi

Nell Rose 2 years agofrom England

Hi, you have some great ideas here to remind us to be happy, I do actually do a mantra before bed, so I can incorporate a bit more into the mantra to say happy! such a great idea!

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, m abdullah javed for stopping by my hub and for your gracious comments. I believe that happiness can last a lifetime.

muhammad abdullah javed 2 years ago

Very inspiring hub. Thanks for sharing. The tips metioned here are sure to bring smile on our face and a sense of happiness in the heart. Have you ever thought of the sustainibility of happiest moments, how long a happiest event can last. How about long time happiness, is it possible? What is the possible longest duration of happiness?

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, B. Leekly! I ash still s with in progress! I know the latter is better but sometimes get caught up in the former!

I appreciate your comments and follow! I look forward to reading your hubs!

Brian Leekley 2 years agofrom Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

Up, Useful, and Interesting.

I can tell if I am happy if I am prepared to die in a moment at peace, satisfied and grateful that I have had a good life.

If my needs are not being met, I can respond with resentment and blame or I can take my problems as a challenge to my creativity and gumption. The latter choice is the way to stay happy.

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

So glad you choose happy, Frank! And, thank you for choosing to read this hub!

Frank Atanacio 2 years ago

choosing happy makes me feel good inside.. I always choose what makes me feel good.. love the Lennon quote never knew it was he who coined it great hub all around :)

Author

Randi Benlulu 2 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, Cris! A visit from you akways makes me happy! I do understand ,all too well, about sad. It seems that sad and mad have stopping here, uninvited, hence the impetus for this hub! I Like you, I prefer to choose happy but some days are harder than others!

Once again, thank you, for being you and stay happy! :)

CrisSp 2 years agofrom Sky Is The Limit Adventure

I believed we all have a choice no matter what. And yes, I am with you...I am choosing "happy" but sometimes, "sad" would pop by once in a while and I just have to suck it up (for a short while). :) More often though, "happy" wins!

I like the vibes in this hub. Awesome video clips and photos. You look lovely with the new hair do. :) Keep smiling!

Happiness always!

Author

Randi Benlulu 3 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

So true, wordswithlove! Thank you for comment and for visiting my hub. I look forward to reading yours!

Author

Randi Benlulu 3 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, Jackie! I try not to let the downers around me kill my happy. Sometimes that's easier said than done! One of my favorite things about Hubpages is meeting people like you, who embrace life and happiness!

Randi, excellent advice. You know, I think "happy" is different than happiness in one respect. We can find the "happy" in the most unhappy of times by any one of the methods you suggest, or simply by allowing ourselves the legitimate right to be happy. Do you see what I mean? Sometimes, there are people who feel so guilty about snatching that "happy" moment when they are overwhelmed by grief or anger or whatever other bitterness they are experiencing, almost as if allowing themselves to kiss that joy that has just come by them would undermine their overall sense of the tragic. I have seen those happy expressions, those smiles of radiance on children in the most abject of circumstances, in poverty and want, and I have wondered at it. Then I realized they can do so because they are young and not seasoned into tragedy, not embittered yet by the misery that surrounds them. Yes, we can choose to be happy. We just have to remind ourselves that it is okay to be, it is necessary to be, and it is human to be.

Author

Randi Benlulu 3 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

I'm so happy for you, Mike! No charge for a service call? See there are decent people! We keep talking about fall here like it's actually happening but it is still over 100!

Author

Randi Benlulu 3 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you so much, Audrey and a very happy Friday to you, too!

Author

Randi Benlulu 3 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Maria, thank you! You honor me with your words, vote and share coming from a woman who has most certainly learned to choose happy. You are so right how lucky we are to be able to choose. I thought about that situation when I chose the song. How sad is that?

Jackie Lynnley 3 years agofrom The Beautiful South

Great hub and I always choose happiness. It is not always easy when everyone around you doesn't want it too but I won't let sadness win out even when all is not perfect. Life is too short. I love happy people, too. Glad you are one and kind of figured you were! ^+

FlourishAnyway 3 years agofrom USA

What a great message. Emotion is contagious, and I would rather spread happiness than anything else.

Author

Randi Benlulu 3 years agofrom Mesa, AZ

Thank you, Jodah! Your comment made me happy! :)

Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years agofrom Southern Illinois

The video made me happy, so did your hub. Thank you for sharing...HAPPY, Still listening to the video again..Ha

mckbirdbks 3 years agofrom Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I'm happy btrbell. The air condioning service man came by and said, 'the unit is working like it is supposed to,' and did not charge me for the service call. Who could ask for more. Welcome fall.

Audrey Howitt 3 years agofrom California

Well this was a great one to start my day with! Happy Friday to you!!

Maria Jordan 3 years agofrom Jeffersonville PA

Dear Randi,

I am even more grateful for the choices we have to be HAPPY and to express our happiness pubically...as I heard with great sadness about the Iranian youths who were sentenced to jail time and 91 lashes for their participation in Pharrel Williams' HAPPY video.

We are so very blessed and have so very much to be smiling about. Thank you for this beautiful reminder. You are awesome!