New market research indicates that consumers are put off by calling foods "low-fat," "low-calorie," or "diet." Nowadays, the trendy calorie reducer prefers words like "smart" and "plus" on their packaging. This is because today's eater of packaged foods wants to know what their food can do for them rather than what their food doesn't contain.

New York Daily News reports that attendees of a "virtual weight management conference" resoundingly concluded that Diet Oreos or whatever people were eating 10 years ago aren't en vogue anymore. We want our food to boast benefits— extra fiber, enough Vitamin C to kill a full grown rat, special surprise mutations that will help us fight crime, etc. Consumers have gone bananas for Vitamin-enhanced milk and juice and fiber enriched health shakes, and expect more Frankensuperfoods to follow. Why not a Cheeto that fights plaque? Fruit Roll Up laxatives? Prenatal Skittles? Soy sauce that will remind you to call your mom on her birthday!