Tuesday, July 19, 2016

How Do I Quit You?

Come August, I will have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for three years straight. There was a brief sabbatical – about six weeks – between when I finished nursing Nora and got pregnant with Weston. But, for the better part of three years I have shared my body with my littles. Honestly, I’m tired, and ready to have my body back. Yet, I just can’t quit!

Breastfeeding feels so personal. What’s right for any given mom may range from never breastfeeding all the way to breastfeeding their child for years. I fall somewhere in the middle. Nora made the decision as to when to quit for us. She refused to nurse when she was around six months old. I pumped for another six weeks or so and called it good. Weston, has been a different story entirely.

For much of the first six months of his life, he outright refused formula (he projectile vomited it up!). As a mom who works full-time outside the home, it was challenging to keep up with his eating while building a reserve for the few work trips that were inevitable! During that time I would have given anything to just quit. Now that things have settled down a bit, I’m struggling!

I knew when I got pregnant with Weston that one of the things that can be deemed both a pro and con of having littles so close together is that each phase comes and goes in the blink of an eye. Within a three year stretch, my life growing babies will have started and ended. It's seeing this phase of my life conclude, not saying good-bye to that god-forsaken black bag, that’s got me struggling a bit.