I Will Run

I jogged two mile at a comfortable pace and the following day I did my first ever run on an incline. Man was that hard! Level one incline for 1.5 miles. I felt the burn through the whole run, but I kept a steady pace. I left the gym with sore legs, but I was really proud. You could even say I was eager to keep running.

Thursday was a rest day but Friday I wanted to run outside since the weather was perfect. I walked for a few warm up minutes then I started jogging, but I was so uncomfortable. My left hip and calf were so tight, and my left leg felt very heavy in comparison to my right leg.

I sat and stretched, but still nothing changed. I tried to walk it out but I felt defeated. I wanted to scrap the race list I had posted earlier in the week. I wanted to be done with the foolish idea of running. I felt like I couldn’t do it and my body couldn’t handle it.

Throughout the weekend I tried not to dwell on Friday’s non-run. Until Monday morning arrived and brought measurement day with it. I stepped on the scale and decided I didn’t need to take any other measurements. The number below my feet told me everything.

When I am sore after a workout I often blame my weight. My body would handle it differently if I shed these wretched ten pounds. What about the 20, 30, or even 50 pounds after that? But, for now, I can’t even shed the first ten pounds.

I am devastated. For three weeks I have maintained a regular workout schedule and followed a normal training plan. I work hard to fit the gym and running into my daily schedule. I eat a normal and healthy diet. I track my calories and zigzag between 1200 and 1600 daily calories. When will my body reflect the efforts I am making?

It just doesn’t seem fair. It doesn’t seem right. I was ready to throw in the towel. I want to give up.

I want my body to be less sore and more apt to running.

I guess what I really want is for running to come easy to me. So many other things come easy to me, but running is not one of them. I have to work for it, and push myself. It’s hard.

I read blogs about new runners, and experienced runners, who are struggling just the same. One bad run or one bad weigh in; it doesn’t matter. I have to put one foot in front of the other and keep on running.

I will run again today and I will log the 2.25 miles that are on plan because giving up is not an option.

This was going to be a poor me, I give up post. But those are some hefty goals and a lot of money worth of commitment. I am not giving up. I will keep doing what I am doing. I will have faith in myself and my training.

Weight loss is hard to understand. I have been stuck at the same number for a year now. Drives me nuts. Lost 60 but I want to lost about 20 more. Keep running. I hear it works well though it has done nothing for me so far.

I hear ya! We all have crappy days and crappy weigh ins. They suck. Suck suck suck. And even though everything we read says “it’s ok” and “don’t berate yourself,” that’s what we do. Or at least I do. One of the reasons I sign up for races is the financial obligation to keep at it. Seems to work.