"I want a dollar for every time someone misSPELLED my surname!" Simon
Montagu

"My grandfather had a cartoon showing an army parade with the following
dialogue (to the best of my memory):
Sergeant: Montaig
(silence)
Sergeant: Montaig!
(silence)
Sergeant: MONTAIG!!
a voice: I wonder if you mean me. My name's Montague.
Sergeant: Oh, your bloomin' name's Montagew, is it? Take two paces to the rear
and two day's bloomin' fatigew!" Simon Montagu