But no one can deny that the guy is smart. He has a way with words, even if at times he doesn’t actually mean anything or make any sense.

When he speaks, its almost poetic.

I think his quotes will be remembered for years to come.

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I will leave you with my top 5 favorite Charlie Sheen Quotes:

1. “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen (even though he’s a low-life scumbag wife beater) It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

2. “The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.”

3. “Can’t is the cancer of happening.”

4. “I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

When the lights suddenly go off, almost always temporarily due to weather, is that really a “state of emergency”?

I mean, damn- The word “emergency” has really become watered down hasn’t it?

It’s not like Godzilla has already shish-kebab‘d a couple of hunred of your neighbors or anything-

That would be an emergency.

…I guess if you’ve got a couple of hundred “neighbors” you’d probably be living in a city as opposed to a farm somewhere in the Mid-West.

Godzilla in a major city, a huge problem; Godzilla wreaking havoc on acres of corn-stalks is no emergency.

But seriously, using “Emergency” to describe a use for candlesis a bit strange…. I get it, people who don’t even need candles will buy them to be ready for that rare and improbable emergency lurking around the corner.

“Emergency” is vague in this context.

What if your dog drove your car into the local pizzeria?

That is clearly an emergency, but are the candles really imperative? I suppose as punishment you can pour hot candle wax onto your pooch’s eyeball, but that is hardly necessary.

They should rename these candle’s specifically to “Candles To Use When The Lights Go Out” or better yet, “Candles For Pussies Who Are Scared Of The Dark”- in order for avoid any misunderstanding.

But those titles were too long, hmmmm how can we shorten them up?….

“Candles For Pussies In The Dark”

“Candles For Dark Pussies”

err…wait a sec..

“Candles For Pussies” works right? But then who wants to be called a “pussy”?

But the word “Emergency” really does seem to work. We hear the word everywhere, from news media, to government officials, to candles; emergencies have really become a part of our culture- They make great selling points, for ideas and products alike.

But really, if there’s one thing we have a surplus of in this country it is right wing lunatics (this surplus seems to be proportional to the national debt).

But correlation doesn’t equal causation right?

Yeah, and my penis is the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

The world has had so many cruel dictators, and for some reason all of them have very funny names- Most of which are not appreciated enough. I mean, how many times have we heard Saddam Hussein be referred to as, “So Damn Insane”?

A few days ago, Barak Obama agreed to an interview with Bill O’Reilly on Fox News. Of course, you can’t win against the rude and impudent O’Reilly on his home turf, the self-proclaimed “fair and balanced” Fox News.