Hi--Chip's my pen name for this website where I talk about my experiences learning how to play poker. I used to have something in here about how I'm new and not very good, but I think I've actually improved a little bit over the last year. No need to be blatantly humble.

Monday, January 09, 2006

7 Ways to Confuse and Tilt Online Poker Players

One quick way to gain a subtle advantage at an online poker table is to distract and tilt the other players at the table. You can do this without being a jerk and berating other players too. In fact, some of them will think it's funny, and will enjoy playing with you.

But most importantly, if they're paying attention to your table talk, they're not paying enough attention to their game, and they lose EV while you gain it. (Even if they know what you're doing, they'll still be thinking about you and what you're doing instead of their cards and your cards.)

1- Sit down at a ring game with WAY more chips than anyone else at the table. I mean lots of chips, too, like at least 10 times what the biggest stack at the table has. Then raise every single hand you get both preflop and post-flop for the first five or ten hands you play. After that you can tighten up and play well and get action from everyone at the table.

2- Bluff like a madman and show your cards, especially if you've got really crappy cards like 27 offsuit and everyone folds.

3- Type into the chatbox that you just watched the movie Rounders and every episode of the World Poker Tour Season 2 and you're ready to take on all comers with your "tight but aggressive playing style".

4- Every time you win a hand or someone else folds to a bet you make, type, "That's right. Fear me." into the chat box. This works especially well if you refer to yourself in the 3rd person, as if you were a super villain.

5- Tell other players at the table, "Be careful. I'm sooted." Be sure to spell it "sooted".

6- Rant on and on about how great a player Phil Hellmuth is in the chat box. Express amazement and disbelief at anyone who disagrees with you.

7- Find another player at the table who's mad at you, or who seems to dislike you. Then start saying things to him like, "I like you, insert-player-name-here. Can I add you to my buddy list?" and "Will you be my friend?" and "PLEASE be my friend?"

This works especially well with players who have typed "FU" into the chatbox after you nailed them with a bad beat.