Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

Start of the weekend

Hi there. Here is another weekend, my children are with their dad, I'm on my own. I have some plans tomorrow (a friend coming over to help me paint) and on Sunday (3 social things in one day).

I'm doing what I am supposed to do to move on, aren't I? Keeping busy. Getting out. Attending to my friendships. Doing things for myself, like socializing and home improvements. I'm enjoying a yummy pizza I just made.

So, what is the problem?

HIM! He has told me he is seeing someone, and my imagination is getting the best of me tonight. I can feel a panic attack just under the surface, I hope it stays away. I blocked my number and called his cellphone, heard him answer, hung up. Yucky behaviour on my part. Part of me wanted to know if he was with "her", if I would be able to tell from his voice if he was out. His answer sounded happy.

Ugh. I keep feeling like this will never be over. Some days I've moved on, I know it, I feel confident, etc. Then today, and it is hitting me again, feels like a blanket draped over my head.

Well, keeping busy helps, but along with that...effective therapy, I wasn't sure if you're still going? Journal, read, pampering...and no contact with him as much as possible.

Yuck, so...why did he feel he needed to tell you he's seeing someone?? Think about it, it's to hurt you and give him the upper hand. He's an ass for doing it...but you already know this about him. I would keep to e-mails ONLY, strictly business about the kids. As soon as the conversation turns to him or you...click. Delete. Tell him this via e-mail in no uncertain terms. You have it in writing. BUSINESS ONLY.

Okay, the 'new person' in his life. Forget any romantic notions, and I promise, this will help you feel a bit better. He's a predator...she is prey. He will screw her over just like any other woman in his life. Abusers abuse the people before and after you, period. This is who they are.
She will soon find her brain is slowly frying from his mind-numbing games...mark my words.

She's just the next victim, that's all. Anything else he's told you is a lie. He's not capable of happiness or a healthy relationship, right?? If you're unsure about this absolute fact, please do some more reading....talk to your counselor. Drive this point home to yourself, and soon...you will be winning at the 'she who cares less' game.

Hugs to you...I know you're hurt...but break it down before you get too wrapped up in the drama he's trying to surround you with.

Yes - keep yourself doing things for YOU. Take care of yourself... relish your friendships. There is no doubt that his new interest will soon find out the truth about him - be glad it is not you in his snare again. This would be a good time to write a list of all the mean things he did/said to you. If you already have one, get it out and read it. As you write or read each one do some deep thinking about how his action made you feel. Hopefully this will reinforce your memories of why you had to get out and that you did the right thing by getting out.

I told mine to go find someone else and that he probably already has!! I would feel very sorry for her..not like she has a clue of what she is getting into
You are doing everything right, except listen to him and that is how we get into the mess in the first place!!!
Hugs and soon that will go away also

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