Dairy-Free Creamy Pasta and…Leftovers

The day after the launch of Lorraine’s book was Carl’s birthday. To celebrate, I organised a family dinner at a restaurant we have been to quite a few times and I have previously let you all know about. We like it because it’s casual, great for children, is BYO and inexpensive. Later that day, Arabella let me know she had just realised she had a shift at the Buena Vista Hotel where she works.

Dairy-free creamy pasta

‘But it’s your father’s birthday. And what about the family dinner?’

‘I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I had to work tonight. I’ve tried to swap but one girl’s twisted her ankle and another isn’t coming in because she’s vomiting’. Who would employ teenage girls!

‘Well did you pick up the present?’

‘Yes, I’ve got the gift voucher’. Arabella and Archie decided to each give Carl a gift voucher to his favourite menswear store. Combining their pool of cash would mean Carl could buy more than one trouser leg.

Pasta with leg ham and mushrooms

So I phoned the restaurant and said there would only be four of us. Then Archie phoned from uni and said he was bringing a mate home for dinner. ‘But Archie, we’re going out for your father’s birthday’.

‘Oh, where are we going?’

‘To the Thai restaurant’.

‘Oh, good. I’ll get Webb to meet us there. What time?’

‘Six because otherwise it gets too late for Alfie. Did you pick up the gift voucher?’

‘No, but I’ll get it on my way back from uni’.

A comforting budget family-friendly meal

So I phoned the restaurant and told them there would be five instead of four. At 5.45pm Carl still wasn’t home and he should have been because he’d been to a conference that was finishing at five and it was only a half hour from home. I called his mobile and he told me he was locked in the car park at The Star where he’d attended the conference. ‘How can you be locked in the car park?’

‘I was trying to get out but my ticket wouldn’t open the boom gate. The machine’s stuffed. Some voice spitting out of the machine told me to park and then walk to another level where I’d find their office and I’ve had to get my ticket validated and I’ve been locked in here for 40 minutes.’

‘Oh, okay, well we’ll go on ahead and meet you at the restaurant otherwise we’ll lose our booking’. Archie and Webb were already at the restaurant. I hurried there with Alfie. When I arrived, Archie showed me he had bought the gift voucher. I looked at it. ‘Archie, you went to the wrong menswear store. That’s not the one your father ever goes to’.

‘I thought that’s the one you said’.

‘No, you got it wrong. You should have gone to the same store Arabella went to’.

‘Oh, well is that a problem?’

‘Of course not. He can buy one trouser leg from this store and one trouser leg from Arabella’s store. It’s perfect’. Then Carl arrived and we had our family dinner minus our daughter and plus one of Archie’s mates. When the bill arrived I said, ‘Come on, let’s go home and have some birthday cake’. And Carl’s face lit up.

‘Did you make me a cake?’ Ahhh, not exactly. Because the night before when I was leaving Lorraine’s launch, she kindly said I could take some cake home with me. I didn’t want to cut into the actual ‘book cover’ so I sliced a wedge from the side of the cake and actually ended up with the book’s spine with the author’s name.

Carl’s second-hand birthday cake

I don’t think Carl could quite believe I was giving him a second-hand birthday cake with another person’s name on it. I thought it was a fitting end to a lacklustre birthday.

Speaking of leftovers, as you know, I baked a ham on Mother’s Day. As luck would have it, there’s a lot leftover. I made this pasta that’s very creamy but has no cream!

My Mother’s Day baked ham

Dairy-Free Creamy Ham and Mushroom Pasta

Serves: 4

Degree of Difficulty: 2/5

Cost: I didn’t need to buy any ham and the other ingredients cost me less than $10.00.

1 tbspn olive oil and 1 more tbspn of olive oil

2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped (or crushed)

400g can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained

500mls chicken stock

300g leg ham, thinly sliced (I cut mine into batons but sliced ham from the deli would be fine but look for off-cuts. Sometimes delis have off-cuts of ham from the bone they are selling cheaply)

300g button mushrooms, wiped with damp paper towel and sliced

400g spaghetti (or penne would be good too)

a bunch of chives cut into desired lengths

In a small saucepan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the garlic and cannellini beans. Heat-through then add chicken stock and bring to a boil. Remove from heat and blitz with a stick blender until smooth and creamy.

In a frying pan over medium heat, add another tablespoon of olive oil. Throw in the ham and mushrooms and shake about until heated through and the mushrooms have softened slightly.

Meanwhile, bring a large saucepan of water to the boil. Add a tspn of salt and the pasta. Cook until al dente, drain and return to the saucepan. Pour over sauce and ham and mushroom mixture. Add chives, season and stir until incorporated.

Plate up! Serve with some crusty bread, a green salad and a glass of crisp white wine if desired.

Dinner is served!

And by the way, that second-hand cake was absolutely delicious. It was made by Whimsical Cakes and was two layers of chocolate mud with a wicked chocolate cream in the centre, a chocolate ganache covering followed by rolled icing. There were no leftovers.

Charlie oh you are so funny!!! I had to run and tell hubby that you served Carl my name as his birthday cake. Was he mad? I can imagine him thinking “I don’t ever want to see the name Lorraine Elliott ever again!”

Well, if nothing else the drama was very entertaining indeed! Happy Birthday to Carl.
That pasta looks amazing, and I love that there is no cream in it; I’ve often used puréed beans to make creamy sauces and soups!

My eyes are watering because I am laughing so hard!!! I suppose the kids will make you sew the two separate trouser legs together 🙂 There never seems to be a dull moment in your household Charlie! Happy Birthday to Carl 🙂

Let Carl know that I’ve had far, far worse birthdays. Probably the worst was spending all day at a conference for work called “Let’s Chat About Dying” then returning home to the empty house I was house-sitting for my parents while they were away, no presents, just the dog wanting to be fed, and crying. But I also spent my 21st alone in a hotel room, and was sick on my last birthday.

Charlie, that is HYSTERICALLY funny! I can’t believe you served up the slice with Lorraine’s name on it! Mind you, it was a divine cake! Figures Archie would get the wrong gift certificate – did the kids sort it out at all?

Poor Carl … perhaps the two of you can go out together and ‘celebrate’ without the kids or kid’s mate. 🙂 It’s not the worst birthday I’ve ever heard of or experienced.

I’m trying to picture the inside of the cake as for some reason I’ve had a recent chocolate fixation and not even the leg of lamb nor the 2 ducks in the freezer are tempting me to make anything as much as a chocolate and cherry sponge roll. With whipped cream and chocolate shavings.

LOL! I can totally relate to Carl’s car park situation. That had to be particularly frustrating on a birthday of all days! At least dinner was good and the cake sounds as though it was fabulous. This pasta dish looks right up my alley. I love creamy pasta, and could use to go without the cream more often! 🙂

Happy belated birthday to Carl. What a fiasco..the birthday of blunders and quite funny but I know it wasn’t at the time but thanks for sharing as I needed a good laugh. Wow your ham looks gorgeous and this pasta looks stupendous. You should have stayed home and had this creamy delightful pasta instead. Take care, BAM

Happy birthday to Carl…and don’t you feel like most celebrations turn out like this? Hilarious in all its mishaps. Thank you for sharing both the story and this pasta. I’m all about pasta! I hope you have a wonderful week, my friend!

Poor Carl, I guess he didn’t have anyone who loved him enough to make him a gluten free dairy free Italian meringue frosting cake for his birthday. I guess you have to be pretty special to get that sort of treatment 🙂 xox

Well at least it was a Birthday to remember!
Sounds a bit like Will’s Birthday last year. All he wanted was carbonara. I messed it up first time (don’t ask), second time wasn’t that good either and then I forgot that I’d made him an ice-cream cake. Will have to make up for it this year.

Carl’s birthday sounds like some I’ve tried to organize. I have said that when it comes to bringing my family all together for an event (my brother and family, in particular) it is like herding cats! It actually can’t be done, but somehow it comes together, just totally independent from what I either planned or envisioned. Family time is family time. I did laugh that his birthday cake had another person’s name on it. That is hilarious. But delicious, and that’s the main point! 🙂 Happy belated birthday, Carl.

Sometimes you crack me up, Charlie. The thought of Carl trying to match a trouser leg from one store to another’s is too much! And then the cake! Thank heavens it tasted great. Wish him a belated happy birthday for me. I hope the year ahead is a good one for him.

Hi Charlie, great call on the beans for the “cream”. I never tried it as a sauce before, but had it as a dip and you’re right – it has all the right qualities to make a gorgeous pasta sauce. Still loving that baked ham – looks incredible!

Loved the segue! Oh how we plan and plan and only to change the plans at the last minute. Great story and I think I’ve been there. 🙂 Lovely use of leftover ham in that pasta dish! Can’t believe it’s dairy-free. Looks quite delicious!