Don’t say I never did anything for you, kids. Lisa Rinna spends the first quarter of her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills blog kissing Erika Girardi’s ass, so I’ll spare you the over-the-top, dramatically breathless details. Let’s just say Rinna loved being on the set of the video shoot and move on with our lives. You’re welcome!

Now, onto the dramatically breathless conversation Rinna had with Eden Sassoon, where instead of just saying that she doesn’t like Kim Richards and never will, Rinna couches her hatred in concern. Concern for Kim and her addiction, concern for Kyle Richards being an enabler, concern for Kim’s very life. Bish, please.

Rinna is obsessed with talking about Kim. Is it because she has no storyline, other than hawking her crap on QVC? Is it because she doesn’t want to look like an a-hole for losing her temper with a person who’s obviously damaged? You tell me. But here’s Rinna’s version of events.

“As Eden tells me about the night her sister Catya tragically passed away, I am suddenly flooded with the memory of Kyle…as she explained how she often worries about receiving that “phone call” regarding her sister Kim.”

Well, of course she worries. Kim’s been an alcoholic for a long time. Kyle kept the secret until it all exploded in the first season. I’m convinced there are more deep, dark secrets in that family other than Kim’s addiction, and no amount of “concern” is going to fix it.

“It gave me chills as I explained this correlation to Eden, because it’s a big realization I have in that moment, and after sharing my feelings with Eden about what went down at game night and the Richards sisters precarious relationship…”

So, Rinna decides that Eden can fix everything, since Eden is an addict, too. It’s Rinna to the rescue!

“…I vow to myself that the third time’s a charm, and I need to be DONE talking about it. I clearly want to move on, so I compartmentalize this new revelation and try my best to just move forward.”

We all know that’s never going to happen.

In the final scene of the episode, Dorit Kemsley asks to meet up with Rinna and EileenDavidson. She wants, in a polite way, to tell Eileen to stop bringing up pantygate every five minutes. Eileen simply looks confused, claiming that’s not what happened.

Um yeah, Soapy, it is.

“I was more than happy to meet with Dorit and Eileen for lunch and appreciated the efforts put forth by Dorit. I thought the idea of hitting the reset button was a great idea, and I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see how that actually plays out.”

If Eileen doesn’t bring up pantygate again, I’ll give up carbs for a week, but I feel fairly confident that I won’t have to forego my morning bagel anytime soon.

So, what do you make of Rinna’s revelation about Kim being near death? Real concern or total BS?