Letting toddlers dress themselves

Do you? And if you do, do you leave the house with them dressed in what they want to wear?My daughter will come out of her room in "pretty" outfits that consists of two shirts.. or a dress with a shirt on top.. etc. She wants to wear them, is proud that she dressed herself and gets mad when I change it. She also wants three pony tails in her hair some days, or will wear random rubber bands as bracelets. If we are at the house all day she wears what she wants but I change her if we have to go into public. I've seen people in public with kids dressing in "princess dresses" and Halloween type costumes, or PJ's. The child obviously won the battle and they were allowed to wear what they wanted to the store. So do you think this is ok? I've read that them dressing themselves is a way they build self esteem and things like that. But then I've also seen a lot of threads on here about people judging the way kids are dressed in public. So.. do you let your kids choose what they wear? How old are they? Do you leave if they don't match?

Do you? And if you do, do you leave the house with them dressed in what they want to wear?My daughter will come out of her room in "pretty" outfits that consists of two shirts.. or a dress with a shirt on top.. etc. She wants to wear them, is proud that she dressed herself and gets mad when I change it. She also wants three pony tails in her hair some days, or will wear random rubber bands as bracelets. If we are at the house all day she wears what she wants but I change her if we have to go into public. I've seen people in public with kids dressing in "princess dresses" and Halloween type costumes, or PJ's. The child obviously won the battle and they were allowed to wear what they wanted to the store. So do you think this is ok? I've read that them dressing themselves is a way they build self esteem and things like that. But then I've also seen a lot of threads on here about people judging the way kids are dressed in public. So.. do you let your kids choose what they wear? How old are they? Do you leave if they don't match?

Don't have a toddler yet... (due in august) But I will say that he can dress himself for the house, but will be changed if we are going out. There have been times when SD (11) and hubby doodle have been sent back upstairs to "try again". So why would a toddler get more say in his appearance than his older half sister and adult father? It's one of those peeves of mine that parents are more concerned with being a friend to a child and not hurting feelings than teaching basic rules. Perhaps if my MIL didn't let my husband dress himself without guidelines, I wouldn't be arguing with him that "you can't wear white gym socks with black dress pants and shoes! Go change now!".

Don't have a toddler yet... (due in august) But I will say that he can dress himself for the house, but will be changed if we are going out. There have been times when SD (11) and hubby doodle have been sent back upstairs to "try again". So why would a toddler get more say in his appearance than his older half sister and adult father? It's one of those peeves of mine that parents are more concerned with being a friend to a child and not hurting feelings than teaching basic rules. Perhaps if my MIL didn't let my husband dress himself without guidelines, I wouldn't be arguing with him that "you can't wear white gym socks with black dress pants and shoes! Go change now!".

lol. That's kind of my feeling. But then I see those people with the 4 year old in the full out Iron man costume with mask and fake muscles. It's then that I wonder if Im being too hard on my baby girl who just wants to wear her flower stretch pants and two random shirts layered on top of each other :)

lol. That's kind of my feeling. But then I see those people with the 4 year old in the full out Iron man costume with mask and fake muscles. It's then that I wonder if Im being too hard on my baby girl who just wants to wear her flower stretch pants and two random shirts layered on top of each other :)

I think it's a matter of setting a routine for kids. At home, wear what you want. In public, dress appropriately. IMO, kids feel like they can get away with A LOT of things now a days, and I think it's because of simple things that parents aren't putting their foot down on.

I think it's a matter of setting a routine for kids. At home, wear what you want. In public, dress appropriately. IMO, kids feel like they can get away with A LOT of things now a days, and I think it's because of simple things that parents aren't putting their foot down on.

My 5 year has always been very independent and wanting to do everything herself. I found if I gave her a choice of two or three suitable outfits then that kept us both happy!!! I could never let her choose from all her clothes otherwise she would wear dresses in the snow!! Indoors is a whole different ballgame! she has a dressing up box full of old clothes, bags etc and when indoors she can wear what she likes from it but she knows she has to put on her regular clothes for outside!!! This has worked for us since she was quite small.

My 5 year has always been very independent and wanting to do everything herself. I found if I gave her a choice of two or three suitable outfits then that kept us both happy!!! I could never let her choose from all her clothes otherwise she would wear dresses in the snow!! Indoors is a whole different ballgame! she has a dressing up box full of old clothes, bags etc and when indoors she can wear what she likes from it but she knows she has to put on her regular clothes for outside!!! This has worked for us since she was quite small.

I let my boys dress themselves. However, if we are going somewhere then i give them a choice between a few different outfits. If we are at home then they have free reign to wear what they want. This is usually about what it looks like cars pj pants with the bright orange fish swim tunks over the pj bottoms, with a short sleeve shirt usually on backwards or inside out with the pj shirt over it on backwards :-) oh and i forgot to add you cannot leave off the cool dude shades (sunglasses).

BTW they are two

Erica

I let my boys dress themselves. However, if we are going somewhere then i give them a choice between a few different outfits. If we are at home then they have free reign to wear what they want. This is usually about what it looks like cars pj pants with the bright orange fish swim tunks over the pj bottoms, with a short sleeve shirt usually on backwards or inside out with the pj shirt over it on backwards :-) oh and i forgot to add you cannot leave off the cool dude shades (sunglasses).

My middle child(now 8) was my only one who dressed herself like this. And I didn't really care. If we were going somewhere like church or an appt, etc, I would pick out her clothes for her. A trip to the grocery store? Who cares? I mean, does it really matter what they are wearing so long as it is clean and covers them properly? I am not one who worries what other people think. For me it was not ever about her "winning" a fight. There was no fight!

Even now, she sometimes goes to school with something like 2 different socks(although I have read on here some teachers are told that is a sign for child abuse?) but she does it bc she likes both and can't decide.

Like I said, the only criteria I have is it must be weather appropriate, cover all that needs to be covered(she has tried to go out in a leatorad and I said no) and be clean.

My middle child(now 8) was my only one who dressed herself like this. And I didn't really care. If we were going somewhere like church or an appt, etc, I would pick out her clothes for her. A trip to the grocery store? Who cares? I mean, does it really matter what they are wearing so long as it is clean and covers them properly? I am not one who worries what other people think. For me it was not ever about her "winning" a fight. There was no fight!

Even now, she sometimes goes to school with something like 2 different socks(although I have read on here some teachers are told that is a sign for child abuse?) but she does it bc she likes both and can't decide.

Like I said, the only criteria I have is it must be weather appropriate, cover all that needs to be covered(she has tried to go out in a leatorad and I said no) and be clean.

Eric is only just starting to explore his clothes but I don't see a big deal. He wanted to wear the hood from his lemur costume from last Halloween not too long ago and I let him. I wouldn't be able to get him to take it off without a huge fight so he got to wear it to the store. Right now its about picking and choosing my battles with him. I don't really see it as a huge deal. He'll take it off when he gets hot ( and he did) and the bigger issue I make of it, my stubborn child will dig his heals in.

I think its kind of funny actually and really I have no room to make an issue of weird quirks as I have plenty. It would be stupid of me to get too worked up over what's he's wearing when I have been periodically dying my hair strange colors for the last 15 years ( I won't mentionsome of the weird crap I wore between ages 10-16). I think it encourages creativity and independence for a lot of kids. However, I try not let him do it when we have somewhere nice to go. I try to compromise with him on that. Instead of the lemur hood or hardhat I am usually able to convince him to wear his sunglasses or baseball hat and if he wears them through dinner or for an entire party so be it. If not, I don't make an issue of it and he grows bored with it.

Eric is only just starting to explore his clothes but I don't see a big deal. He wanted to wear the hood from his lemur costume from last Halloween not too long ago and I let him. I wouldn't be able to get him to take it off without a huge fight so he got to wear it to the store. Right now its about picking and choosing my battles with him. I don't really see it as a huge deal. He'll take it off when he gets hot ( and he did) and the bigger issue I make of it, my stubborn child will dig his heals in.

I think its kind of funny actually and really I have no room to make an issue of weird quirks as I have plenty. It would be stupid of me to get too worked up over what's he's wearing when I have been periodically dying my hair strange colors for the last 15 years ( I won't mentionsome of the weird crap I wore between ages 10-16). I think it encourages creativity and independence for a lot of kids. However, I try not let him do it when we have somewhere nice to go. I try to compromise with him on that. Instead of the lemur hood or hardhat I am usually able to convince him to wear his sunglasses or baseball hat and if he wears them through dinner or for an entire party so be it. If not, I don't make an issue of it and he grows bored with it.

I've let my son go to the mall dressed as spiderman! He's a great kid, well mannered an polite. Really guys, it's not a battle unless you make it one. And there are more important things to put your foot down about. He thought he was awesome, and He made so many people smile. They would say "hey spiderman!" Ash would just nod his head an say "hey." like he was too cool. Let your kids be proud of theirselves. It really is ok to let them be knuckle-heads.Life is all about good memories!

I've let my son go to the mall dressed as spiderman! He's a great kid, well mannered an polite. Really guys, it's not a battle unless you make it one. And there are more important things to put your foot down about. He thought he was awesome, and He made so many people smile. They would say "hey spiderman!" Ash would just nod his head an say "hey." like he was too cool. Let your kids be proud of theirselves. It really is ok to let them be knuckle-heads.Life is all about good memories!

Hahaha! I would have asked him to use his spidey sense to find me a good sale! I agree with you though. It's really not a huge deal and they're kids afterall. What's a little imagaination and fun anyway?

Hahaha! I would have asked him to use his spidey sense to find me a good sale! I agree with you though. It's really not a huge deal and they're kids afterall. What's a little imagaination and fun anyway?

hahaha. Right now my daughter has on heart pj pants, a cheerleader dress (in size 6-9 month and she wears 18 month clothes), a spongebob shirt, and a tank top. She's stylin'. :) I would NEVER let her leave the house in this. But she really wants to :)

hahaha. Right now my daughter has on heart pj pants, a cheerleader dress (in size 6-9 month and she wears 18 month clothes), a spongebob shirt, and a tank top. She's stylin'. :) I would NEVER let her leave the house in this. But she really wants to :)

I have a feeling her tantrums are going to get worse as she gets closer to two. She is already starting to be "independant" and not wanting to do things Mommy's way. So Im sure come this Halloween she will be wanting to wear her costume everywhere.

I have a feeling her tantrums are going to get worse as she gets closer to two. She is already starting to be "independant" and not wanting to do things Mommy's way. So Im sure come this Halloween she will be wanting to wear her costume everywhere.

I honestly think the costumes are cute. But would you feel the same way if you saw a kid dressed in pants, shorts, and three shirts with dress shoes that dont match the outfit? Because that's my dilema.. Thats the kind of thing she wants to wear. I let her wear Halloween outfits that she wanted to wear for three months after Halloween (yes, my 13/14 month old wanted to wear what she picked out) and I didnt have a problem with that.

I honestly think the costumes are cute. But would you feel the same way if you saw a kid dressed in pants, shorts, and three shirts with dress shoes that dont match the outfit? Because that's my dilema.. Thats the kind of thing she wants to wear. I let her wear Halloween outfits that she wanted to wear for three months after Halloween (yes, my 13/14 month old wanted to wear what she picked out) and I didnt have a problem with that.

This got me thinking because when my kids were younger, I let them wear what they wanted (weather appropriate was my only concern).Now they are older and I will tell my 11 year old daughter to put someting cuter on if we are going shopping let's say. She will get huffy but I don't want her to look sloppy and not care about her appearance. So before I wanted them to be independent and now I'm a control freak? I guess as long as they are clean and the clothes are clean and fit them properly it's not a big deal.

This got me thinking because when my kids were younger, I let them wear what they wanted (weather appropriate was my only concern).Now they are older and I will tell my 11 year old daughter to put someting cuter on if we are going shopping let's say. She will get huffy but I don't want her to look sloppy and not care about her appearance. So before I wanted them to be independent and now I'm a control freak? I guess as long as they are clean and the clothes are clean and fit them properly it's not a big deal.

My feeling is that I have enough battles to fight with my toddler that concern her safety and well being. Â If she wants to assert her independence (and she does as she is a very strong willed independent little being) by dressing in crazy outfits - then I let her. Â As long as she is clean and the outfit is somewhat appropriate for the activity. Â For example - she can not wear her princess dress to the park, but if we are going to the mall...why not? Â It isn't hurting her or anybody else - and it means she will probably cooperate better with things that I deem more important.

My feeling is that I have enough battles to fight with my toddler that concern her safety and well being. Â If she wants to assert her independence (and she does as she is a very strong willed independent little being) by dressing in crazy outfits - then I let her. Â As long as she is clean and the outfit is somewhat appropriate for the activity. Â For example - she can not wear her princess dress to the park, but if we are going to the mall...why not? Â It isn't hurting her or anybody else - and it means she will probably cooperate better with things that I deem more important.

Joel is wearing a pair of plaid shorts (with variations of red and blue in them) along with a royal blue Toy Story 3 t-shirt and black crocs. He dressed himself today. And that is fine because we are at home chilling out.

BUT when we go to the store in a bit he will change, happy or sad.

I am all about my child being an individual and being able to express himself, but to an extent. He still needs to learn boundaries and accept he has to follow rules most of the time.

(The same rules apply to the Hubby as well!)

Joel is wearing a pair of plaid shorts (with variations of red and blue in them) along with a royal blue Toy Story 3 t-shirt and black crocs. He dressed himself today. And that is fine because we are at home chilling out.

BUT when we go to the store in a bit he will change, happy or sad.

I am all about my child being an individual and being able to express himself, but to an extent. He still needs to learn boundaries and accept he has to follow rules most of the time.

When my DDs were younger they wore whatever they wanted when we were home. Including my shoes. Lol. If we had to go out I gave them a choice of a couple of outfits. I was not about to take a 3 year old out in undies and big shoes.

When my DDs were younger they wore whatever they wanted when we were home. Including my shoes. Lol. If we had to go out I gave them a choice of a couple of outfits. I was not about to take a 3 year old out in undies and big shoes.

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