James Bond: Super Spy, Life Coach

A few weeks ago a minor scandal occurred in our household when my wife discovered our 7-year old daughter had taken a bath with a turned-on space heater nearby. Almost as disturbing was the fact that we didn’t initially know how to explain electricity to a 7-year old.

Then, I dusted off my “Goldfinger” DVD and showed my daughter the opening scene, where James Bond is in a fight that isn’t going so well. Bond shoved the bad guy into a nearby bathtub, and when his foe reached for a gun, Bond kicked a nearby space heater into the bathtub, frying the guy instantly.

My daughter immediately understood the danger of having an electrical appliance near a bathtub.

Most of life’s essential lessons can be learned by watching James Bond movies. Sure, the Bond franchise offers great action movies tailor-made for guys, but it is amazing how much smarter a viewer is after having seen a Bond film.

Ever get pushed out of an airplane at 20,000 feet without a parachute? No problem: find a guy with a parachute nearby and go get his chute. That happened in “Moonraker.”

If someone ever tries to kick you with a dagger-tipped shoe, grab the nearest chair and impale them on a wall nearby until you can do something else to defend yourself. That nugget can be found in “From Russia With Love,” and you never know when you will need to know that maneuver.

“Thunderball” revealed that a spear gun works just as well on land as it does underwater. Who knew? And if you come across anyone with a huge set of stainless-steel teeth in their mouth, as in “The Spy Who Loved Me” and “Moonraker,” be careful. Those choppers can probably be used to kill a human!

But at least such a guy like that would reveal himself to be a threat the second he opens his mouth even slightly. When a beautiful woman expresses a sudden interest in you, how do you really know that the feeling is the standard human physical attraction to your good looks, and not that the woman is following orders to seduce and kill you? Think Barbara Bach in “The Spy Who Loved Me.”

Here’s a critical one: a bad guy’s lair always blows up after his plans to destroy the world are foiled. So when you press that “abort” button, you better start running. Pretty standard. Espionage Studies 101, really. That happened in “Dr. No,” “Thunderball” and most other Bond films up to and including the 2008 movie “Quantum of Solace.”

That also occurred in the humorous Bond-like film, “Austin Powers.” Come to think of it, some Bond off-shoot films also have some of life’s essential lessons in them.

Take for example the humorous spy movie “The In-Laws.” After watching that 1979 romp anyone would know the importance of “serpentining” if you ever find yourself running and getting shot at. Knowing that skill could save your life!

Fortunately, these and other of life’s essential lessons can be learned now that the entire James Bond collection is available in a box set of Blu-ray disks, sold on Amazon for $150. Amazon even has a trailer of the Blu-ray disk release itself.

According to Amazon, the box will come with one disk that contains brand new bonus content on the Bond films, and nine of the Bond films will be released in Blu-ray for the first time. However the box will also contain an “empty slot” to be used for the disk of the forthcoming James Bond film, “Skyfall,” which will be released in theaters in the U.S. Nov. 9 three days after the elections, when Americans will be ready for some apolitical, action-packed entertainment.

This year marks the 50th anniversary of the Bond franchise, so the producers are spending $200 million on “Skyfall” to mark the occasion. That’s still a hefty chunk of change for a film.

“Skyfall” will also be available in IMAX, giving theater viewers the opportunity to duck when bullets or knives fly their way. As with all Bond films, “Skyfall” is sure to have some eternal truths in it that will make the movie entertaining and educational.