Madeleine Davies

As if romance wasn't already challenging enough, a whole new deceit has been added to the modern day dating mix. Hapless straight male users of sites like Tinder and OKCupid can enlist the help of Personal Dating Assistants, an online service that assigns users a dating "consultant" who, rather than actually consult, will write your entire dating profile for you and exchange messages with potential matches.

It's just like Roxanne (or Cyrano, if you're fancy), only instead of a charming Steve Martin composing your love notes, it's some dude named Hunter who just wants to get you laid, bro.

The team of personal dating assistants ghostwrite messages, help choose attractive profile pictures, scout for attractive women (which is as creepy as it sounds), and provide "date coaching." They also ask men what kind of women they're looking for with descriptions like this: "Blondes or brunettes? Cougars or kittens? Big brains or big… you get the picture."

Of course, there are some ethical and moral quandaries that surround the idea of tempting women into sleeping or entering into a relationship with you using lies and an utterly fake personality. But oh, well — apparently, there's no room for ethics in online dating.

To all the lonely/horny hearts out there: Yes, dating can be hard and I get why a service like this might be tempting. That being said, if you're the type of person who would seriously consider using something like Personal Dating Assistants, it's probably best that you don't date anyway. Know why? Because getting someone else to pretend that they're you in order to trick girls into fucking you actually makes you human trash. Perhaps you're okay with being human trash (which is probably why sites like this will continue to pop up), but if that's the case, then I'm okay with telling you that you are person undeserving of affection and love.

Maybe, instead of putting your money to something like this, you could do what everyone else does — ask your friends what you're doing wrong, try a little introspection and, I don't know, maybe go see a therapist who can help you work out what's holding you back. Hiring someone who will pretend to be a better you is a faulty short-term plan at best. Ladies are bound to bail the second they figure out the extent to which you've misrepresented yourself (this might even happen BEFORE they let you bone them). Working on self-improvement, while the harder choice, is a much better long game.

P.S. Here's a REAL CUTE still from the Personal Dating Assistants promo video: