Regarding the assertion that a homemaker’s effective “salary” works out to $120k, or whatever other outrageous number you want to put forth. That calculation is based on the absurd assumption that the homemaker is performing several jobs that could be outsourced to a professional (chef, accountant, nurse, etc.), then multiplies the salaries of those jobs by the number of hours the homemaker spends doing them.

The reason that calculation is nonsense is because it assumes that the homemaker is doing all of those jobs with the same degree of skill and expertise of the actual educated and experienced professionals she’s being compared to. I’m sorry, but being able to pay your phone bill online does not make you an accountant. Putting a bandaid on a skinned knee does not make you a paramedic. Stirring some milk and butter into a pot of Kraft Dinner does not make you a chef.

That’s why that “study” always irritates me.

]]>By: Nicolehttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-857308
Tue, 09 Feb 2010 18:52:57 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-857308Is that moderation function still not fixed? It’s definitely irritating when 20 odd posts are just randomly scattered throughout an old post because it took several days for them to be approved. The discussion becomes kind of weird.
]]>By: partgypsyhttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856945
Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:19:44 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856945Thanks Mo-town I looked at the original article and they included jobs such as accountant and CEO(because SAHM does the bills and is the “Head” of the household). I don’t think I’d hire an accountant who used practices to arrive at such a figure, would you? A truer reflection is how the budget would change if the caretaking parent went from non-working to working, taking into account the increased income but also the increased costs (wardrobe, commute, daycare, etc).

To be a devil’s advocate if you wanted to give a fuller accounting you would also have to take into account the benefits of being the stay at home parent, such as being there for their first milestones (first word, walking, drawings), able to attend school events and meetings, extra hugs and confidences, all the experiences that contribute to them growing and changing into the person they become. Yes, stay at home parents make sacrifices, but you have to acknowledge the working parent is also making a sacrifice for their family. They also bear the stress of being the sole wage earner for a family, not insignificant in these times. My point being, is that a successful partnership means each partner appreciates what the other brings to the table, but should also be flexible to adjust if need be the roles.

Yes. The number is inflated and grossly so. The easiest way to calculate the unrealized salary of a SAHP is to look at salary figures for full time caregivers. I can assure you, the average full time caregiver does not make $129K/year. The magazine arrived at the $120K figure by assigning a dollar value to everything a typical SAHP does during the entire day, but this isn’t how real life works. I do many things outside of my job that I’m not compensated for. I mow the lawn every weekend, cook, clean, do laundry, etc. The “value” of these tasks doesn’t get added to my salary.

I understand that the magazine article was just trying to make a point about the many things SAHPs do that go unnoticed, but suggesting that the average SAHP saves a family $120k per year is a huge stretch.

No, the number isn’t inflated, but it also wouldn’t work out to 240K for 2 of you either. The number is based on the jobs that the average SAHP takes on, like driving the kids to various events (chauffeuring) or housekeeping (maid), cooking (chef), childcare (daycare provider). If you hired people to do all the things a SAHP does, it would cost you around 120K a year.

I’ve always found this number fascinating, it’s a comment on our society that often looks down at people who choose to stay home yet will happily work full time and pay others to do the same thing. SAHP contribute quite a bit and yet many people look down on them calling them lazy or telling them that they should be out getting a job to help pay for all the “stuff”.

]]>By: partgypsyhttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856836
Mon, 08 Feb 2010 18:15:41 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856836#59 not to be too crass, maybe my husband and I could both stay home. That way we would be “earning” 240K a year! Sounds good to me! Don’t get me wrong; stay at home and people who volunteer do not get the recognition they deserve. However I can’t imagine that figure of 120K may be a tad inflated, especially when you consider the single mothers out there who are doing it all.
]]>By: partgypsyhttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856832
Mon, 08 Feb 2010 18:11:07 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856832I think there are such varying responses because there is insufficient information. We are only getting Pam’s side; we don’t know why, if everything is so great why her husband is pushing her to work. Coul we get an update of the husband writing with his perspective : )?
Myself having a spouse that is mostly SAH gives us some cost saving measures but more quality of life improvement. However if it came down where there was increased need for money for retirement, college, etc, no amount of cost cutting measures is going to give you increased income. That’s when both partners need to talk and possibly give up some quality of life benefits for common financial goals. So she needs to be open to that conversation as well.
]]>By: skphttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856416
Mon, 08 Feb 2010 02:08:07 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856416Caregiver jobs are usually extremely flexible and do not include benefits. One could work 20 hours during the summer when the children are home from school and more hours in the winter when the children are at school. Unexpected bill??- work more hours. Planning a big party or holiday celebration- work less.
OR May be a better idea would be to keep at part time and go back to school. LPNs can finish school in one year full or 2 years part time and make twice what an aide makes.
]]>By: Sandyhttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856409
Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:31:35 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856409I think some publication just valued the SAH Parent, and it cam out to about $120,000/yr. I’ve been lucky to have been a SAHM for most of my children’s lives (16 years, 2 girls). Currently, my PT job is during the hours of 10-2 and am home in the morning an the afternoon. Our school system just eliminated bus service for the HS, so while she has a friend drive her to school in the morning and a few afternoons per week, she needs a ride around 2:30 to her afterschool job at 3. Also, I appreciate the fact that I CAN be there for them…my youngest is a chatterbox when she gets home from school, and I love that I’m still the one she’s chatting with. Sorry…there’s no paycheck that could outdo that.
I am one of those moms who cooks from scratch, bakes several times per week, hang dries almost all of our laundry, am the obvious chauffer and appointment setter, gardens and preserves foods, etc..I don’t make a lot of money at my job, but the hours are perfect for me, who wants to still be at home with my kids,plus do all of these other cost-cutting measures to help our household bottom line. I’m the Girl Scout leader and church volunteer, and help out as needed at the schools. The way I look at it is, the kids will be off to college and out of the house before I know it (6 more years). Frankly, I am happy to put a career on hold and work at a part time job and everything else at home while the kids are under our roof. Then, I’ll be happy to work full time, and my husband can take a work break if he likes, and he can bake the bread!
]]>By: Rachelhttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856193
Sun, 07 Feb 2010 08:02:45 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856193A few thoughts:

Firstly, there are shortcuts that can make house duties for working parents easier, without a significant loss in quality. Bulk cooking certain dishes for the freezer is not all that much worse than cooking from scratch every day.

As others have said, older children can and should be encouraged to chip in with household chores (cleaning their own room, washing dishes, help with laundry) – and once they are helping, they might realise that they can take more off the load by behaving differently (if they do laundry, they might think twice about tossing a barely used item in the hamper, or with dishes they might rinse a water glass straight away instead of leaving in the sink).

On that note, I would recommend taking a look at all the housework done and examining how much of it is necessary chores, how much is money saving hard work, and how much is “proud housewife” i.e. justifying being a SAHP (such as cleaning more frequently than necessary or making particularly elaborate meals)?
If Pam went back to work, the necessary chores would still need doing (perhaps with a different division of responsibility), the money saving work would be desirable (but perhaps no longer as pressing to do it all), and the proud housewife stuff could be discarded (because, as Pam herself put it, she isn’t wonder woman).

]]>By: SLCCOMhttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856175
Sun, 07 Feb 2010 05:24:20 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856175Something everyone is overlooking is the blithe assumption that the husband will remain employed, at at least his current salary and benefit level and/or won’t get sick or injured and end up on permanent disability, or even die.

It is possible that he wants her to work full time because he realizes that his job isn’t actually secure, but he doesn’t want to worry her by telling her that. It is also possible that he sees that she is becoming more confident and secure with her part time work and wants to help her continue grow as a person. She is certainly young enough to work her way up and perhaps get a degree to move into a high-paying job someday. Maybe he is not secure about his health and wants her to start becoming self-sufficient.

In any case, an older woman who has not worked for a decade or two in this economy is at such a serious disadvantage that getting a minimum wage job is a major accomplishment.

I am ashamed to say that when I was a teenager, my parents discussed having my mother go back to work. Selfishly, my brother and I voted against it. Her mental health and self-confidence today would be so much better had she had a life outside of us.

And if something had happened to my father, she would have been much more financially secure than she would be with just life insurance. We did see what happens to investments sometimes, but job skills don’t nosedive like stock markets.

These are at least as important to consider as crunching the raw numbers on a spreadsheet.

]]>By: teresahttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856161
Sun, 07 Feb 2010 04:46:02 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856161The one comment I havn’t seen is that a SAHM day ends at 5:00, let me tell you it just doesn’t end! Kids at any age need assistance any time of the day. So saying that the husband works so many hours and the wive has X amount of “active” working hours is comparing mars and venus. I bet this husband has no clue how much is involved in running a household and if given the chance to change places for awhile would beg to go back to work. For some reason our society thinks that having a bunch of crap(tv’s, new cars, huge houses) is so much more important that raising our children. Why do you think we are building so many more jails and drug abuse is rampant. If there is any way possible for a parent to be at home full time for their children I think every family should make that choice. Getting your kids bailed out of trouble or into rehab is going to cost a whole lot more than you could ever earn.
]]>By: jgonzaleshttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856125
Sun, 07 Feb 2010 02:02:12 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856125Kathy, I think you’d be amazed if you really crunched the numbers how many people could afford it, if they cut some of the extras.

Like you, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to afford to stay home with my kids. We were in major debt with maxed out credit cards and negative balance on our checking account (to the point that we hit the max negative the bank would let us go). Bills that literally hadn’t been paid in months. We were rock bottom. We also had 2 full time income, with 1 child and 1 on the way.

We signed up with a financial counselor (mentioned it on Trent’s previous post about the subject) who is still teaching us quite a bit about finances. A month after we signed up with her, I lost my job (it was mid 2007, so it was the beginning of the economic mess). Being 5 1/2 months pregnant I was having a very hard time finding a job (the temp agencies wouldn’t even consider me for anything beyond a substitute for a day or week).

We did what we had to do in order to make ends meet. We cut out cable. We had an entertainment budget of $30 a month. This was to cover basically anything fun, including eating out. As people who ate out 3-4 times a week, it was a shock to the system. We kept our internet but used that for 90% of entertainment needs. There was no clothes budget, we made do. Our food budget was $250 a month and gas was $150 a month. Even though we wanted to, we didn’t move to a bigger place. The kids got hand me downs (we were fortunate to have 2 daughters) and if was new, it was from a relative or friend.

I finally got a part time job at night about 8 months ago, just shy of 2 years since I lost my job. I work graveyards between 1-4 nights a week, depending on the schedule that week. Over those years and even now, I’ve looked for a full time job to supplement what my husband brings home, but without anything full time in the evenings/graveyard (or paying twice what I used to make) we’d lose money through daycare and work related expenses. In that same time period, all of our family budget (food, gas, entertainment) went up. We even were able to take a family vacation for my dad’s wedding. We haven’t moved yet but it’s part of the goals we have set and are working hard toward.

It’s possible if you want to make it happen and are willing to sacrifice some of the stuff we think we need.

As for Pam, I think she & her husband need to sit down and figure out what’s important to them and their goals. Once they have that, they can go through and see if they will reach those better if Pam stays home or goes back to work full time.

]]>By: Kathyhttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856057
Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:34:39 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856057Gail #54, really nailed this for me. Most people aren’t fortunate enough to have a choice. I would kill to be in Pam’s shoes, to have the choice to work part time or stay home.
]]>By: gailhttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856044
Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:55:47 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856044From a purely financial status, Pam and her husband should follow Trent’s advice and crunch the numbers and evaluate their present and future goals. And, as things appear now, it seems like Pam and her husband are doing well financially, as he has a stable job with future benefits. Why rock the boat and have Pam go back full-time when it will be disruptive to their family? I always tell friends going thru this dilemma: If you have a CHOICE about whether you need to work or not, you are WAY ahead of the crowd. Now go do what will work best for your family and your sanity. Also, you can have it all; maybe just not ALL AT ONCE. Right now, Pam wants to be there for her kids, so working part-time is a great compromise. In a few years when the kids are grown and gone, she can go back full-time. Don’t try to fix what ain’t broken….
]]>By: jchttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856027
Sat, 06 Feb 2010 18:26:32 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856027some comments above have led me to think that there may be some Myers-Brigg type differences across this couple at the root of this conflict (and the underlying communication issues). If one or the other of them is drawn to self-diagnosis and has an interest in how personality types interact, I’d recommend Sherman & Jones’ book “Intimacy and Type.”
]]>By: CindiCCChttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856021
Sat, 06 Feb 2010 17:34:45 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856021Besides the money issue, please consider the benefit of a parent at home for a 13 and 16 year old. These are key years where keeping in touch with teenagers can make for life-long success. Waiting just 5 more years before going full-time (when your 13 year old heads to college) isn’t long.
]]>By: Molly On Moneyhttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-856011
Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:54:43 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-856011I love that Pam goes right into the facts of what working more is costing the family like how much more the grocery bill was. Often we focus on the emotional drain when trying to solve a problem rather than the whole picture.
For about 1yr my husband was the stay at home parent and my life was so happy and EASY. He took on all the shopping, driving the kids around, household chores (remodeled our house),etc. My job was 9-5 while his was 7-7. He had it much tougher than me!
]]>By: colleen chttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-855988
Sat, 06 Feb 2010 14:35:44 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-855988Kristine #27, thank your for your comment. I am currently a SAHM and was thrilled with your statement. I do SO much every day that I am proud of, from running our school PTO and tutoring kids at the school to tutoring my own kids at home. I often say I have the best job, I just don’t get paid, and it kills me when people casually say to me that “I don’t work.” I do part-time work as I can get it and I feel I contribute very much to my family. I also feel strongly that if I did return to full-time work, my husband would first have to show me that he would take over half of the household duties. His life would change drastically and he recognizes that.
]]>By: Louisehttps://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-cost-of-returning-to-work/#comment-855939
Sat, 06 Feb 2010 11:03:03 +0000http://www.thesimpledollar.com/?p=4952#comment-855939When I worked for an Asian company, I found that most of the mothers there planned on becoming stay-at-home Moms when their kids entered the dangerous teen years. As one explained, “That’s when kids get into alcohol, drugs, and sex. That’s when they have relationship problems, can get profoundly depressed, and really need us.” I thought that was a very interesting and valuable way of looking at things.
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