Probably a few years ago when my brother was out of the country and didn't have email available.

15. Favorite kind of sandwich?

I love the turkey ranch and swiss at Quizno's. Mmm. Grilled cheese is what I had for dinner tonight.

16. Best thing to eat for breakfast?

That's a hard one. It's all good as long as you leave the fucking vegetables out of it. Omelets. Pancakes. German pancakes. French toast. Waffles. Sausage. Oatmeal. Pop Tarts. Cereal. Sticky buns. Bacon.

17. What is your usual bedtime?

Usually somewhere between 12 and 2 am. I usually do most of my online stuff late at night. Reading blogs, Fetlife, Facebook. It takes a while.

18. Are you lazy?

Absolutely. I get things done that need to be done, but when I have the choice I'm lazy. A spanko homebody would be my soulmate.

19. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

Not personally. But my office gets constant mail for an OBGYN office, so I have access to unlimited issues of Parenting magazine if I never needed them.

20. Do you sing in the car?

Yes. I like to sing and am more likely to do so when alone. Car. Shower. Around the house.

21. Wal-Mart, Target, or Kmart?

Are there still Kmarts around? Wal-Mart is a necessary evil when you're broke.

22. What is your favorite color?

Red or blue.

23. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

This reminds me of that Seinfeld episode. I have to untuck them in order to get into bed, but I leave the lower half tucked in so they don't fall off. I like bed making to be as simple as possible. See #18.

24. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

Not an actual street sign. But in high school my friend's basement had a collection of those construction signs with the yellow light on top and orange cones.

25. Do you like to use post-it notes?

I use them daily for work.

Maybe you learned something interesting. Maybe not. But now I have until Thursday to think up a topic. :-)

Thursday, February 21, 2013

There are times when I really crave a spanking. Yeah I'm a spanko, so that's not all that surprising. But there are those times when I crave it even more and want something intense. This past week was one of those times. I'd been tired, stressed out, annoyed with work and a variety of other things. I wanted a long hard spanking. One that could relieve my stress. Give me something else to focus on for a moment and free my mind. Give up control to someone I trust implicitly. Get me to the point of having that emotional release.

My head forms these scenarios quite well. I could imagine myself sitting on the edge of the bed, nervously waiting. He enters and tells me to undress and get in position for my spanking. I lie on the bed as he murmurs soft comforting words. This is happening because I need it and it's going to be challenging. Letting go is always challenging but it will be physically as well. I'm startled by the first few swats from his hand to my waiting bottom. As it continues I start to relax into it. The intensity picks up and his hand comes down harder and harder with each smack.

He pauses and rubs my reddening cheeks. I know this is a prelude to the more difficult parts to come. I try to keep my body relaxed, my mind only focused on what is happening right now. Butterflies stir in my stomach as I hear his belt unbuckle and slide through the loops. The belt whips against me over and over, biting into my flesh in quick succession. It takes my breath away and I will myself to stay in position. His hand rests on my back and I turn towards him with a nod to continue.

The belting goes on at a fast pace but the sensation starts to blur a bit. My bottom stings terribly and is emanating heat. It hurts but I'm not completely focused on it hurting. I can feel the tension leaving me as my mind becomes more relaxed. I don't notice the few tears that left my eyes until he is there next to me, wiping them away. The spanking has stopped. He caresses my sore bottom and pulls me close to him. I cuddle up to him laying my head on his chest. And in that moment everything is right.

Ha! Only in fantasy will I ever be that stoic. Here is what actually happened. I made several less than subtle comments throughout the night about how I hadn't been spanked yet. S is a nice guy and helped remedy the problem even though it had gotten really, really late. I lied on the bed and he started spanking me with his hand. I was already feeling a little sensitive before he even switched to the leather paddle. That was extremely stingy to me at the moment and had me squirming all over.

After that covered all areas, he grabbed my dense wooden paddle. It gives much more thud than sting which can be harder for me to handle at times. This was one of those times. With each swat I nearly jumped from the bed. I was wiggling a lot and he wrapped his other arm around my waist to keep me there as he continued to paddle me. He knew I'd been wanting a harder spanking but he's also very good at reading my body language and interpreting my squeals to know when I can't take any more. He ended it not too long after that. I did get to cuddle.

He called it at the right time. I wasn't pushed too far. The spanking was just fine but it didn't go how I'd wanted it to. I was really annoyed with myself. Why do I have to be such a wuss? I had been craving it all week and then I couldn't even handle it. Why does my tolerance vary so much from time to time and what causes that? It's so frustrating! If only life could play out like the fantasy sometimes. I'm interested to hear if this is a common thing. Have you experienced a changing tolerance? If so, what do you think may cause that and how do you deal with it?

Sunday, February 17, 2013

It is still winter but it's always a good time for ice cream. Today I'm sharing an older post where I had some fun with an ice cream flavor generator.

Thank you to Hermione for sharing Ben and Jerry's flavor generator
with me and inspiring this post. Have you ever wondered about ice cream
being specially marketed to spankos? What would the flavors be named?
Well, here are a few ideas I came up with.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

- Sheelagh Lennon

Untitled

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.- Courtney Kuchta

They forgot to mention "your hand rubbing my spanked bottom."

It seems I need to write my own poem.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

This Valentine's Day

I'd love to be spanked by you

Even while I was married I disliked Valentine's Day. I don't like the obligation of a holiday possibly made up by Hallmark and 1800Flowers. I think you should express love for someone because you want to, not because there is societal pressure to do so.

If there's someone special in your life, tell them you love them. Today and every day. Don't ever miss that chance. And go eat some Valentine's Peeps because that's what this day should really be about.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

One year ago today, I hesitantly walked into a Whole Foods. I wasn't hesitant because I was worried about being hit by a wayward Subaru in the parking lot, but because I was about to attend my first munch.

I was not completely new to the scene. I'd been attending SCONY events for about 3 years already. But one of the appealing things about SCONY is that it is all the way in New York. I wasn't really worried about running into my neighbor at a party.

In between attending bi-annual spanking weekends I was getting a bit lonely. I'd nearly written Utah off as a kinkless wasteland because it's Utah. There couldn't possibly be any kinky people here, much less spankos. Right? Wrong. I searched my local area on Fetlife and was surprised at how many groups there were out here. Many were aimed at fetishes I did not share, but many others were open for everyone. And that is where I found the information for an upcoming munch.

Now here I was at Whole Foods ordering some coffee with knots in my stomach. People were scattered around at the tables but I'd already spotted the group I was looking for. A small sign was on the table and I recognized a few faces from their profiles when browsing through who was attending. I still almost turned around and left. What am I doing? Am I even going to fit in here? I'm going to say something stupid and make a bad impression. What if nobody talks to me at all?

I got my latte and walked over, sitting at the far end of the table from most of the conversations going on. Before I could say anything, I was greeted with a smile and a hello. Asked my name and if I was new. Was it that evident? Lol. There were more people arriving, more introductions. Small talk. I didn't say a whole lot. Everyone was so nice, so... normal. There was talk of a party a few days away and I was encouraged to attend if I wanted to.

This will be baffling to my regular readers I'm sure, but somehow Peeps came up in conversation. Then I knew for sure I'd made at least one new friend. When I found out she also had Singstar that sealed the deal. I did end up going to that party that was a few days away. And then another one. Another munch. Another party. There can be so many events going on in the same weekend it's hard to choose which one to attend. In fucking Utah. Who knew?

There are so many great people in the scene. Such a variety of interests and activities, amazing intelligent people willing to share their knowledge and open their homes. I'm so glad that I made that first step and got to know what was out here. If a shy spanko like me can do it, anyone can. Admittedly I'm not much better at talking to people now than I was a year ago, but I'm more comfortable and I have my people to hang with.

To all my friends, acquaintances, lovers, spankers, and everyone else who took a moment to notice and say hello to a shy new girl, thank you. I still may be one of very few spankos in Utah. I may have a much more limited focus and shorter fetish list than others. But that doesn't matter. It is the people who keep me coming back. All of you who continue to share a smile and a hello. I'm thankful to have met so many great people and have learned so much from many of you. And it all started with a cup of coffee.

*Unrelated side note- Today is James Spader's birthday. Everyone should watch Secretary tonight and get or give a spanking in his honor. I think it's what E. Edward Grey would want.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Below is a picture of a new shirt I got recently. It's funny how many people do a double take because at first glance they assume it reads "Hello Kitty." I chose to wear this shirt to a Mardi Gras themed party this weekend because it was the closest I would be getting to showing my titties.

I've been curious about playing with rope for a while but had never
gotten around to talking with anyone about it very extensively. That
whole initiating things issue. Ugh. I have experienced wrist and ankle
restraints during spanking and sexual play. I liked that and wanted to
experiment further.

Cool new shirt

The opportunity came up at this most recent party after chatting with IF
about it. He's very good with rope and I've seen a lot of pictures of
the stuff he's done. We decided on aiming for functional rather than
just pretty/decorative rope work and I got tied to a table to be
spanked.

Does this rope make my boobs look fat?

First he did the chest harness deal
pictured above and looped through another rope that was secured to the
other side of the table. Then my arms, wrists, and legs were all tied.
Those were not directly tied to the table so I could still move a bit
and not have my limbs fall asleep.

Tied up

Of course with my chest being secured down on the table I was mostly
immobile anyway, which was the idea. I needed S for the second half of
this and he was happy to oblige with a spanking. As if I really had to
twist his arm. By the way, all these pics were taken afterwards as you
can probably tell from the reddened bottom.

Side angle

I couldn't really turn around to see who was present but could hear voices of a few people gathered in the room. S had his toy bag out but started off spanking me with his hand. He switched to the cane which was way too stingy right then and I asked if we could use something different. Well be careful what you wish for because next came the wooden stick and then a leather strap.

The end result, no pun intended.

Everything was stingy and I could feel my bottom had definitely reddened. He kept checking in that I was alright in that position and I would frequently wiggle my hands to keep them from falling asleep. That's something you need to do a lot when in restraints. All in all it went well and I enjoyed it.

My official review on rope is I like it! It brings a different level of vulnerability to the spanking. There were people around during this scene and a lot of chatter so there was a lighter tone. But it's definitely something I'd try again. And in a more private, intimate setting it would be a whole different feeling and could lead to all sorts of things... Sorry, my mind wandered off there. :-D