Any day now, Lil Mil will take her first steps. Someone will be there to see it.

It won’t be me.

Yes, I’m being pessimistic, but I’m also going with the odds. During the week, I see my daughter for about two hours every morning. Sometimes less. On the weekends, I’m with her all day, but we’re usually out doing stuff, so she doesn’t spend much time on her feet. It’s during the week, while I’m at work and she’s with S (the part-time babysitter who became our full-time nanny when we yanked Lil Mil out of daycare - see what you missed while I was away?) that she prances around the house, holding on to her wooden pushtoy, hamming it up for the applause she’s come to expect (if she doesn’t get it, she’ll plop down and clap for herself).

Most weeks, there’s at least a chance I’d be there to witness those monumental first steps. But this week, Lil Mil is with Mom and Dad for the week (mine, not hers), which means that if she decides to walk in the next six days, I will most certainly miss it.

Is it horrible that I’m willing my daughter not to walk just because I want to be there when she does?

11 Comments

I just kinda didn’t want to hear about it from the daycare. I never had to say that though, she’s been doing it long enough that she just knew not to say anything unless I asked. Sometimes I asked things. But as far as I know, I saw those steps.

In your shoes I would feel exactly the same way. S and your parents need to get on board and ZIP it if she walks on their watch and allow you to experience that special milestone her. I hope they’re reading this!!!!

I asked Liv’s daycare teachers not to tell me if she did a huge first with them. I saw her “first” steps and loved every minute of it. I’ll never know if she slipped in a few at school while I was away, and it doesn’t matter if she did. The first steps for me were the ones that counted. You just do what you have to do to get through it, you know? Every day we are away from our babies is tough. Just don’t let it get you down. Treasure up every minute you do have.

I was working F/T when O took his first steps. And it was with me, on a weekend. Now, there’s a chance that he took his first steps with the nanny, and she just didn’t tell me (she’s smart like that). BUT the important thing? They were his first steps with me, for me, towards me. It was a moment I’ll always remember. And if he happened to have taken some steps before then, it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t diminish my memory of the huge look of joy and surprise on his face.

But as a working mama, I feel your pain. It’s weird to me that someone else spends so much time with my little man and I don’t.

Once a friend told me that she and her nanny had a deal: her nanny never told her when her child had “firsts” while she was at work. That way, the “firsts” were always when the mama was there. She didn’t need to dwell on what she was missing, only on what she was not.

Hope you are thriving in this new chaos. It sounds like despite everything, it’s going well!

the important thing isn’t being there for the first steps- it’s being there for all the steps she’ll take over her whole life. like the steps she’ll take when she’s walking down the aisle. or the steps she’ll take on her first day of kindergarten. there are lots of big steps in store for Lil Mil-and you’ll be there to see them!

and you know what’s funny? by the time you have another child, you won’t even notice when your second child starts walking! kidding..sorta.

Not horrible at all–I pretty much felt that same way. I lucked out…J took his first toddling steps *right* as I was saying goodbye to leave for work one day. But I know I’ve missed other firsts. I never know whether I want someone to lie by omission and not tell me about it, or if I want to hear about it.