Bite-size tip: Cultivate generosity in your relationship

Recently my husband surprised me with a nice cup of tea while I was reading. I know what some of you might be thinking; "what is the big deal?".

Indeed it was a small gesture and yet it managed put a big smile on my face and warmth to my heart. That tea tasted particularly sweet (even though it was sugarless) because it came from his
heart. Even as I think about it today I still feel happy about it.

Generosity in relationship and marriage. What do you think is the connection?

A new study published recently claims that generosity between spouses is a key element to
a happy marriage. If you have been the recipient of such generosity in your relationship I bet you will agree.

Thus, for today's bite-size tip I want to provide some suggestions on how you can cultivate generosity in your marriage/relationship.

1. Thoughtful gestures like what my husband did. It need not be grand really.

2. Let go of a slip up that he/she has done instead of harping on it.

3. Say "thank you" and mean it.

4. Give compliments on things that you usually take for granted.

5. Hold yourself back when you feel the urge to complain or criticise. Rephrase your words if need be such that they are kinder and less hurtful.

6. Offer to listen attentively without offering any advice/suggestions.

7. Help out with housework or the kids' homework. This is one way of being generous with your time.

8. Give a massage or footrub or big hug.

9. Make the effort to smile even when you don't feel like it.

10. Allow your spouse to veg out or channel surf after a long day. Avoid asking, "What's on your mind?" persistently.

11. Allow your wife to sleep in and take the children out while she rests.

12. Give "No special occasion" gifts.

Your task is to choose one item from the list (or from your own list) and do one generous deed for your spouse or significant other today. You will not only elevate her/his mood but your own too.

You are most welcome to share the generous gestures that you have received or given. Be lovely to hear your experience.

What you raised is valid of course. When we do something kind, there is always the risk that it may not be reciprocated. The question is then, are you willing to be generous without having any
expectation in return? The moment we attach expectations to our generous acts, the impact is reduced.

To cultivate generosity in any relationship, one party has to be vulnerable and willing take the risk.