This Marine needs some help

So I get the news that I am going to be a father. Took it fairly easy at first but it is slowly becoming a bit more nerve recking. I don't know the first thing about being a father or what to expect. I keep reading all these post, books, forums and I feel like I am not getting anywhere. I want to be a great father and a great husband. I am trying to be there for my lady and our soon to be baby, but half the time I don't know what to do or say. I want to make her feel like I know what I am doing and to ease her worries. Any advice for this rookie? I am in the Marine Corps so things aren't as simple for us.

So I get the news that I am going to be a father. Took it fairly easy at first but it is slowly becoming a bit more nerve recking. I don't know the first thing about being a father or what to expect. I keep reading all these post, books, forums and I feel like I am not getting anywhere. I want to be a great father and a great husband. I am trying to be there for my lady and our soon to be baby, but half the time I don't know what to do or say. I want to make her feel like I know what I am doing and to ease her worries. Any advice for this rookie? I am in the Marine Corps so things aren't as simple for us.

Most written resources (in print or on the web) for new dads or dads-to-be are pretty poor. Everything I found either talked down to the reader, or were light on substantial info. I found more value in just talking to friends who had kids, discussing shared experiences, etc. Beer helped a lot with that.

"Dad Forums" like this one can be helpful, but I've noticed they either get very few new posts and comments, or are active forums but suffer a lot of trolling, derailed threads, that sorta thing.

Most written resources (in print or on the web) for new dads or dads-to-be are pretty poor. Everything I found either talked down to the reader, or were light on substantial info. I found more value in just talking to friends who had kids, discussing shared experiences, etc. Beer helped a lot with that.

"Dad Forums" like this one can be helpful, but I've noticed they either get very few new posts and comments, or are active forums but suffer a lot of trolling, derailed threads, that sorta thing.

I'm an army wife and was just lurking on this forum but the main thing I can recommend that I wish my husband would do would be to ask her questions about what is going on. Ask for the weekly updates on what the baby is doing, mainly just act interested in the whole pregnancy. I know for a lot of dads it's not as "real" until the baby is here but for us it's hard to understand why our significant other isn't as excited about every little thing like we are.

I'm an army wife and was just lurking on this forum but the main thing I can recommend that I wish my husband would do would be to ask her questions about what is going on. Ask for the weekly updates on what the baby is doing, mainly just act interested in the whole pregnancy. I know for a lot of dads it's not as "real" until the baby is here but for us it's hard to understand why our significant other isn't as excited about every little thing like we are.

First of all, take a deep breath. The fact that you're already so worried proves that you're going to be a good dad. There is a steep learning curve, and no matter what you read or how much advice you seek out, you can never be ready to be a father. When you hold your little one for the first time, your instincts will kick in. You'll mess up from time to time, but if you just take it a day at a time, you'll do fine. Best of luck to you!

First of all, take a deep breath. The fact that you're already so worried proves that you're going to be a good dad. There is a steep learning curve, and no matter what you read or how much advice you seek out, you can never be ready to be a father. When you hold your little one for the first time, your instincts will kick in. You'll mess up from time to time, but if you just take it a day at a time, you'll do fine. Best of luck to you!

I would worry a bit about information overload. There is a lot out there and it is easy to be overwhelmed. I went into this with zero experience. What I found worked was find one book and read it. It will help, but you will not really know how to do it until you have your baby and are actually doing it. Also, the great thing about a pregnancy is it gives you time to get ready. No need to learn it all at once. And if you have friends/family with a baby, spend time with them. Nothing like a little practice with someone else's baby.
Good luck and welcome

I would worry a bit about information overload. There is a lot out there and it is easy to be overwhelmed. I went into this with zero experience. What I found worked was find one book and read it. It will help, but you will not really know how to do it until you have your baby and are actually doing it. Also, the great thing about a pregnancy is it gives you time to get ready. No need to learn it all at once. And if you have friends/family with a baby, spend time with them. Nothing like a little practice with someone else's baby.
Good luck and welcome

Thanks for all the insight. It helps out a lot. This is one of the biggest and most life changing event for me. I feel really blessed with it. I can't wait for the day I get to hold my lil one. I just need to make sure I take care of my lady well enough so she can feel at ease and know that I am by her side no matter what. What has been the biggest challenge about the pregnancy process? Is there something in particular that I need to keep in mind?

Thanks for all the insight. It helps out a lot. This is one of the biggest and most life changing event for me. I feel really blessed with it. I can't wait for the day I get to hold my lil one. I just need to make sure I take care of my lady well enough so she can feel at ease and know that I am by her side no matter what. What has been the biggest challenge about the pregnancy process? Is there something in particular that I need to keep in mind?

My advice: lurk on the lady's forums. It gives you incite to what they are going through and stressing about. Lurk on forums that are appropriate though. For instance right now you're kid is probably in the first trimester so read those forums daily. I also read the birth month forums for the month my kid is due ("November 2011 Moms" for me).

First off congrats and welcome aboard!

My advice: lurk on the lady's forums. It gives you incite to what they are going through and stressing about. Lurk on forums that are appropriate though. For instance right now you're kid is probably in the first trimester so read those forums daily. I also read the birth month forums for the month my kid is due ("November 2011 Moms" for me).

I would just recommend being as involved with the pregnancy as you can. My husband has only been able to go to one dr appt and that was the gender ultrasound. But I record every heartbeat at my checkups and my husband seems to look forward to those. Let her know that she is beautiful because seeing your body gradually get bigger and bigger really is hard on us. Being her flowers and just try to be as patient and sweet as you can, even when she is being a real bi*ch

I would just recommend being as involved with the pregnancy as you can. My husband has only been able to go to one dr appt and that was the gender ultrasound. But I record every heartbeat at my checkups and my husband seems to look forward to those. Let her know that she is beautiful because seeing your body gradually get bigger and bigger really is hard on us. Being her flowers and just try to be as patient and sweet as you can, even when she is being a real bi*ch

Ask questions...discuss the baby's development. Ignore the *****ing and just go with it.Be as reassuring as possible. Offer to help more. Those are things I never had with my first pregnancy but my husband now does all these things and I love him for it he is so great. Congrats and best of luck :)

Ask questions...discuss the baby's development. Ignore the *****ing and just go with it.Be as reassuring as possible. Offer to help more. Those are things I never had with my first pregnancy but my husband now does all these things and I love him for it he is so great. Congrats and best of luck :)

Congrats! And thank you for your service :) I hate to say but a lot of parenting comes from trial and error. Learning to hold the new diaper over the old one only comes after lo has peed across the room at least once. Getting poop everywhere will show you if you put the diaper on correctly. You will NEVER have enough changes of clothes with you. No matter where you hold the burp cloth you will end up ruining many shirts. Actually buckle the car seat in the store before you buy it. We hate the way ours buckles and would like to run it over with the car. Babies will throw fits in public and you will be " one of those people " on several occasions. Just take deep breaths and take one day at a time because they make everything worth it.

Congrats! And thank you for your service :) I hate to say but a lot of parenting comes from trial and error. Learning to hold the new diaper over the old one only comes after lo has peed across the room at least once. Getting poop everywhere will show you if you put the diaper on correctly. You will NEVER have enough changes of clothes with you. No matter where you hold the burp cloth you will end up ruining many shirts. Actually buckle the car seat in the store before you buy it. We hate the way ours buckles and would like to run it over with the car. Babies will throw fits in public and you will be " one of those people " on several occasions. Just take deep breaths and take one day at a time because they make everything worth it.

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