Wednesday, April 7, 2010

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: GUEST PUMP

I'ma let my friend handle this one. One fine day, he message me on the facebook on my computer, and sent me a couple sweet music videos. I decided that they'd be great for a HDPU, so I axed him one if he'd do a GUEST HDPU!?!?!?

Without finking twice about it, he agreed to do it. FUCK YEAH.

After all, a lot of different things PUMP a lot of different people UP. So let's get some variety up in this bit, right? Ok, there's still gonna be hardcore videos, but they're gonna be awesome. Like they always are. And you're not gonna watch them. Like you never do lol.

Quick story about this guy: he has the same first name as me. Pretty bad ass.

One time he came over to my place to jam. True story, he had his guitar tuned so low that even before he plugged it in, when he was strumming it, my bowels were a-rumblin'.

There comes a time in every (wo)man’s life when (s)he has to look in the mirror and ask this question, “What pumps me up?”. Is it an awesome moustache? Maybe. Is it bad ass explosions in movies? Absolutely. Is it drunk bowling? God, let’s hope so, because if that doesn’t pump you up you’ve got a bigger set of problems.

I found myself in front of the mirror a few days ago asking myself this question and the answer was an overwhelming FUCKING HEADWALKS BRO! Goddammit, nothing pumps me up more than watching some dude run on a bunch of other people’s heads. Don’t fucking believe me, watch the video below:

Not only did that guy just dominate the heads of everyone in the crowd, some other guy got so pumped that he took his clothes off and attempted (failed) a stage dive. Now, I don’t necessarily condone poorly attempted semi-naked stage dives, but I do condone being that JACKED UP!

Not PUMPED yet? Not sure how you couldn’t be, but I’m gonna play the numbers here and assume at least one (1) of the millions(1,000,000s) of readers isn’t quite at maximum pump yet. Here’s another video that’s shorter, faster, louder, and better quality:

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME YOU FUCKING PUSSIES

Now that everyone is at the utmost PUMP, we can start our day. So lets take a minute to imagine that this Hump Day is a sea of people; and we’re about walk all the fuck over it.

GET SOME!

Holy shit, I should do these guest PUMPS more often. I'm rock hard right now.

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tall man on the loose in tampa area

True story, there is a tall man terrorizing the Tampa area. This weirdo usually hangs out around parks, trying to find pick-up games of basketball - during which, he will grab the ball and maneuver around so that you come into contact with his stinky, naughty bits.

Truly an unpleasant experience.

His signature move is the "bait and switch junk grab". As you're grabbing for the ball, his junk magically appears. In the way of your hand.

Another one of his famous moves is to let the ball go loose, then as you scramble for it, his sweaty ass gets in the way. Of your face.