Last week when I was playing, my rotor was jamming as soon as I got to my bunker. I was pulling the unjam trigger, flipping it upside down, and it still wouldn't unjam. I took off the top-shell and found a twig sticking straight up, stuck in-between the two rotors. Pulled it out, loaded a pod, then put the guy in who was running down to bunker me.

I took my youngest daughter to play this past weekend with one of her friends. And they guarded our base for a few games, and then were ready to head over to the other teams camp. So I lead the way, and we didn't meet a SINGLE person the whole way... We just walked right into their camp and I pointed out the flag, and the girls went over and got it and won the game! Their FIRST time playing!

I couldn't believe it! On the way back they were telling me how easy that was... Lol!

A couple months ago, I had just gotten my pistol, and was being all sneaky sneaky in the field at Camp Pendleton Paintball called Kong, which has a series of trenches, and flat spots through out. I was creeping along, when I saw a guy shooting out from behind a building, obviously gun fighting with someone somewhere. I popped up to take a shot, and felt an impact on the top of my head. I ducked down, checked for a break, it was a bounce. I pop back up, and then again, feel an impact. Check myself, still clean. I pop up a third time, feel an impact and see the guy I was trying to take out, flinch as a ball hit him in the hip and broke. The way it broke, it sprayed kind of upward, like it had come from a low vantage point and sprayed upward toward his chest. I look around trying to see who made that shot. I looked back and saw a guy giving me a thumbs up, and he shouted "Thanks for the Assist!" That's when I realized, he had been bouncing the ball off of my head (whether intentionally or not I don't know), and had managed to ricochet one off of my head and hit the guy. Craziest shot I have ever seen to this date.

Another time I caught a bounce off the front of my E-Flexes (right off the grill portion) and it dropped right down the front of my jersey.

OH and one more story. Again, first day using pistol, first game of the day, playing Castle. Off the break I managed to super man dive and slide into the castle opening. Quickly popped out and caught a guy looking through a window off guard, then slipped into the inside wall, and was just looking around. Saw a person pop their head in and look at me, then say "Hey man, watch that cross fire from the windows across the way". I totally forgot what team I was on for a second and was like "Good to go man, thanks for the warning", and went to ask him something, when I realized....he was on the other team. He popped back in to say something and I stuck the TPX almost in his face and said "Please surrender?" to which he willingly complied. He came up to after and was like "That was the most polite surrender I have ever experienced".

Widowmakerz getting three 3 for 1's at PSP MAO in 2009, after David Diaz (ref) was put in his place by the head ref for not knowing the rules regarding coaches with the "black sticker" being allowed in between the fence and the net.

3 for 1's weren't even in the rulebook!

And he wrote it on the scoresheets too!

The game would start, two seconds later he'd come running over "ALL OF YOU OFF THE FIELD!!!! ALL OF YOU!!! EVERYONE!! YOU ARE ALL OUT!!! OFF THE FIELD!!!!"

I remember the other teams asking us "What happened? Why did they pull your entire team off the field?"

Last winter playing reball, horn blows and I start shooting a lane. Gun stops shooting, take loader off and look down into the breach to find a piece of gum smooshed beside the bolt holding it forward. I was pissed.

Was playing some good ole rec speedball with some random guys. During one of the games we played, I took three (3) bounces off my shoulder (I am VERY skinny) two (2) bounces off my loader, and one (1) off my mask lense, all in the same game.

The same day I felt a hit on my pack, and called for a paintcheck. The ref called me clean, an my team went in to win the game. I took my pack off after to refill pods. There was a hit on the inside of one of the main pod loops.

I borrowed a friend's Empire Sniper and played two games just dry firing the gun and didn't realize it. Turns out one of the orings on the bolt got stuck on the feedneck, so it couldn't go
all the way back.

And the first(and only successful) superman dive I've done was in a game, with all my gear, and to my surprise I actually did a good dive. Then all the other times I've tried(both on and off the field), I either land nuts first or my gun goes flying away from me.

I was playing airball last Sunday on the Cup format and teams were probably about 12 on 12 since there were a lot of recballers. After my sides snake player got shot out, I bumped from the mini race into the snake. After I was in the snake for a bit, someone needed paint, so he came across the field, got into snake one with me, took a pod, and was actually able to play for a bit before he got shot out. It was especially awesome, because he did it when my teams snake side was pretty much completely locked down.

If you want to get sponsored, present yourself as a mature adult, not a four year old with a crayon.

Was playin a game at the local indoor field. It was just a game of full field elimination. Off the break my entire team dove and were all huddled behind the center bunker. Now I should explain I'm rather large (let just say for get the six pack I bring a keg to the party). Well I was trying to get the team to move up but they were all kids saying the other team was peppering the bunker and pinning them down. So I stood up and told em guys they all out of range. And they all just stared as like 20 Paintballs bounced off my gut lol. Was friggen hilarious. Kids were all more daring next game. And I was never taken out that game.

Another day at wasaga paintball. I was playing last game of the day. Each team had a bus to protect and you won when a member from your team touched the opposing teams bus. Well I wanted to get rid of the last of my paint so I along with my sister opted to defend the bus while rest of team attacked. All was going well untill I ran out of air. So being last game I did not wana just walk off and figured it be a good laugh to make a mad dash for the opposing teams bus. So I handed my gun to my sister and booked it across the rather large field of ruff trenched ground. And it was going well very well. About three quarters of the way with paint whizzing by me I was starting to get tired (as mentioned I fat but also have ALOT of injuries). So to get a laugh I yelled out will some one bloody shoot me. Any ways I actually made it 10 feet from the bus before getting shot in the head. The guy that finally hit me and the three refs were all pissing them selfsame laughing and patting me on the back saying awesome run. Was easily the highlight of my day and a great laugh after.

My Profits are notorious for catching bounces off the lens. I've also caught paintballs that bounced off my chest, and went up in between my cheek and the mask. And of course that moment where someone lobs a ball at you and it goes right into your sleeve.

My field uses a lot of spools as bunkers. I was behind 4 rolled next to each other on their sides. My friend was on the other team shooting at me and as I ran by a ball went through a hole no bigger than like 3 paintballs wide and broke. I was dumbfounded.

one time i was playing with a bunch of rentals and 4 regulars and there was one(regular) in the center slap stick bunker and i had just run out of paint so i left my gun with a friend and got the guy in the center to surrender without using gun

then the next weekend i was playing against the same guy and he got about 15 good shots on me and they all bounced (love dye c11 jerseys)

I was playing some woodsball at a summer camp that I was workin at, I had borrowed a friends pod harness for that game. I'm pretty skinny so no matter how much I tightened the harness it was still kinda loose. We decided to play a round of zombie (some of you probably know it as infected) I was the zombie and I was running to cover when 3 guys from the other team opened up on me, I was almost to the tree i was running for but the borrowed pod harness slipped off my waist and I faceplanted. As I was falling i felt two paintballs lightly brush the hair on the back of my head. If I had not tripped, I would've gotten drilled twice in the side of the head.

My Sister and I were playing recball at local indoor feild. We started early and there were only two other players at that time, two younger kids. So to keep things fair my sis and i played on opposite teams with one of the kids each.

I was shooting my Empire Trracer Pump at the time and my sister was shooting a Flatlined A5 with RT trigger. Well i was gunning for my sister as we had a bit of a bet going on that game. But knowing i had a range and fire power disadvantage i was trying to get up close. All was going good i moved up pretty quick placing my shots well pushing her in cover and moving. I got up to this building that she was in and i swung around the corner she was in the door way. I surprised her enuff that i was able to fire off two rounds (LOVE AUTO TRIGGER) before she fired back in shock. I called myself out as her shot was placed dead smack in my chest but she did not call herself out to my shock. I told her i fired two shots i COULD NOT have missed. But looking her over there were no breaks so i walked offed miffed at my loss of the bet and that paint could possibly bounce at a range of like 6ft.

Shortly latter my sister met me in the dead box still not a mark on her. I asked her why she looked at me laughed and said i had not missed afterall nore had any bounces. When i came around the corner her gun was down both my shots went threw the speed feed of her hopper and busted up a BUNCH of the paint in her hopper. She did not realise till a couple shots latter her gun just started chopping like mad and she looked over her gun.

It was hilariouse and i was stoked that i won the bet, BUT damn that was a mess took me forever to clean that up. for rest of the day my sister was shooting my A5 cause her Cyclone was a mess and even the bolt was gummed up a bunch.

Also I was playing a one v two with some friends who were better than me, we had an epic battle lasting about 5 minutes when I shot one out. So it became a one on one. I took about 5-10 bounces of my pants. And I still lost.

I've got a couple. The first one was when this other guy challenged me to a 1v1. I'm not big on 1v1's but I was like whatever I'll play. We got into a snap shooting battle and I snapped out and shot two shots. He called a paint check and the ref found that one of my shots went down his barrel and one broke on the barrel tip. he was shooting when it happened so his barrel was filled with paint.

The other one was at the end of a woodsball match the refs called ten seconds left in the middle of me and this one guy in a gun fight. At about 4 or 5 seconds, I dunno, we both popped out and emptied our hoppers at each other, but all of our paint either collided in midair or ricocheted of the other paint and neither of us were hit, during 5 seconds of shooting maybe 10 yards from each other.

we were practicing on the chicago PSP layout from this year this weekend, and my teammate ran from the dorito command center to god, came around to bunker out snake, his G6r feedneck came off, along with his hopper, he screamed like a little girl and the snake player shot him out.

Playing woodsball at a local field, hooked up with a bunch of really gung-ho army types. They're being super aggressive and getting shot out quickly in every game, but having a ball and never complaining. So, it's getting towards the end of the day, and we're attacking up a hill. I'm doing my typical spray-n-pray to hold folks down while the people I'm with go after them. We realize we've wiped out most of the opposition in front of us, and head the rest of the way up the hill.

Everything is going swimmingly, and I'm behind the group (I'm an old fat guy, so this is where I usually end up). They're rushing loudly forward, and I pause to take a look around. Nope! Nothing to see here!

Step out from behind the tree I'm using for cover, move two steps forward, and I hear POP! SPLAT! and feel a sting on the inside of my left leg.

Where the F did that come from?

I put my hand in the air, yell "Out!" and this little guy stands up and says "That was my LAST paintball! I'm so glad I got you! All your buddies ran by me too fast to see me, and I was afraid you were going to unload your gun on me when I could defend myself!"

I started laughing, gave him a high-5 and we walked back to the deadbox together laughing about it! Great shot, from a Rental 98!

It was new years day, I'm with my swim team, and I'm the only one who paintballs on it. I decide to use a renter. To let my older brother feel badass, I let him use my spider e-Mr1 (little does he know It chops more than Gordan Ramsey). It's headshots only capture the flag, 17 on 17 on the nppl field. I figured no one would be able to hit my head, so at the beginning I put my gun down and said "fuck it". Horn blows, I sprint like a bat out of hell. The minute I pass halfway, I hear the sound of 16 Tillman 98s and one spider emr1. I'm getting hit from all over the place. By some miracle, I slide into the box with the flag, and my flexes nearly come off. I only keep them on cuz I was covering my ear. People are still shooting me (I was on my knees) and it took the reffs all their energy to compose themselves and stop the game. Afterwards I looked like a cheetah. The refs comes up to me after the game and says "god Damn man. You are insane. I play d3 and I wouldn't do that in a million years" that was probably the best day In my paintballing days so far

During practice it was a 2v3 with me in dorito and my bud in snake, well I owed my friend on the other team a bunker so I decide now would be a good time to say fuck it. I run down the tape and we trade off. I got shot 4 times and they all bounced. I looked at him and said see anything? He just said thats fucked up and walks off field. Well my run took me past the other two players on his team so I just walk up behind one and tap her on the shoulder to tell her I'm on the other team and she's out then I get in her bunker and talk to the last guy for a bit before he remembers, derp there was a girl there, derp he's not wearing our jersey, derp. Then I shoot him in the pack and we all die laughing.

It was 4 versus 2 and my team had the numbers. The last two people on the opposite team were hiding behind a bunker at their 30 and my team was all at the 50. I shot the last two people but they didn't call themselves out. My first thought was darn these bouncing balls so I kept shooting.

At the end of the game I saw that all my balls broke but they didn't know they were out when the balls broke. Apparently they missed that part of the briefing...