Spoof news stories from Thursday 21 February 2013

The NRA has upped its political game with the acquisition of the Death Star made famous from the Star Wars movie franchise. Thought to have been totally destroyed following a second massive attack by impudent rebel forces in the third (or is that the...

In an unprecedented legal quandary this week, an entire jury was deemed unfit for service and thrown out by the judge. Journalists discarded all courteous behaviour as they shoved, elbowed and kicked their way to the Court entrance in a bid to interv...

London - "Me neither," said a disgusted Theo Walcott as news of the filthy slur went viral.
Within minutes the rebuttal spread to Arsenal goalie Wojciech Szczesny who too rejected the "shi++y bit of crap".
Next Lukas Podolski and Jack Wilshere...

February 29th is the one day no man should wear deodorant - especially if he's single or once hooked up with a woman who sees hearts on his nipples rather than androgenic hair.
History deems February 29th as the day when any three-eyed bearded woman whose weight happens to be more than a double-trunked compact automobile is allowed to pursue any man of her desire relentlessly for twenty-f...

A woman from Red Mesa, AZ who says she was fired for engaging in personal relations with a footless extraterrestrial filed a lawsuit against her former employer, Socks Socks Socks, Inc.
Margaret Shackleberry's lawsuit accuses Arizona-based socks r...

Longtime radio talk show host Corky Blecka announced today that he had been fired by the station's program director for saying "exacerbate" on the air. "I'm not surprised," he said, adding, "They threatened to fire me once before when I used the wor...

Florida man, Frank Dobson, has claimed he is being fed subliminal messages from Vice President Joe Biden and says he is "waiting further instructions".
"I first began decoding the messages he was passing me through his appearances on TV and at pre...

Russia is losing billions of "dirty dollars" annually because they are being washed by a huge machine run by a bunch of criminal Scrubbers.
Russian billionaires, the Russian Mafia and other criminal organisations are making sure that their hard-e...

Men want to be like him and women want to be with him. He lives a fast life, traveling the world and drinking only Dos Equis beer. He is the most interesting man in the world.
At least he was. It was revealed today that he has been replaced b...

Following the State of the Union speech by President Barack Obama, the Republican rebuttal was presented by Senator Marco Rubio, or as Time Magazine headlined on their cover story: The Savior Of The Republican Party. Instead of turning in a savior ty...

Fans have suffered exquisite torture at the hands of the Celtics GM Danny Ainge.
Of course, even the horrors of the Auto de fe or the Inquisition required more than just the Grand Inquisitor.
The Boston media has provided more chills than Joan...

Los Angeles - A total ban on all wide-angle lens shots is one option under consideration as Academy Awards judges ponder the merit of booking Adele to sing at Sunday night's ceremony.
The Brit entertainer is due to perform the Skyfall theme nomina...

And if his prayers are answered, the party will be held in St. Peter's Square, with thousands and thousands of attendees from around the word!
The Pope has told reporters, "Look, for years, I've been going out on the balcony and blessing that di...

When children are young, many a parent will attempt to have a so-called Chicken Pox Party. This is an attempt to deliberately infect their child with this mild, but virulent disease early on, so that they do not scar.
With the advances in modern m...

AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California - Paula Abdul was recently interviewed at The Enchanted Enchilada Restaurant in Avocado Heights.
The 50-year-old dancer and choreographer, who was fired from X-Factor last year, told Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that s...

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The hills are alive with the sound of lawyers positioning themselves in what could be one long, drawn out divorce case.
The storybook coupling of Kris Kardashian-Jenner and husband Bruce Jenner appears to be headed for the Big D.

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM. A report published by the Brussels, Belgium-based International Union of Really Worried Scientists calculates the destructive power of the US Congress as equivalent to an eight-mile wide meteor hitting Earth.
The report warns th...

An Exodus rocket launched three Israeli astronauts and 100 Palestinian refugees into orbit Wednesday, kicking off a ten-year mission to establish a permanent human colony on the surface of Mars.
The rocket roared into mostly clear skies from the G...