So, remember the stupid not-porno that Teen Mom‘s Farrah Abraham made with James Deen that sold for $1 million, invalidating your life choices that haven’t involved getting paid stupid amounts of money to get naked? Well, the first clip from Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom (to be filed between EXXX-Stream Dating and Here Cums Honey Boobs Boobs) is online now, and if you love sentences that end with “baby,” it’s the “sex tape” for you.

From Iowa cheerleader to MTV Teen Mom star, midwest beauty Farrah Abraham breaks free with her most daring video ever, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Made originally as a personal ‘boudoir’ tape, Farrah decided to release the video to her fans due to overwhelming response once news of the tape became public. Shockingly explicit, she takes James Deen as you’d never imagine, in a backdoor scene you’ll never forget. With her tight young body and totally uninhibited sexuality, it’s no wonder why she wanted to capture this moment in time. And now you can too! (Via)

Making fun of sex tape dialogue is about as easy as, well, Farrah Abraham, but I can’t resist.

-“What the hell, did you wear armor today?” “I wore pants.”
-“I think these buttons are going to take me forever.”
-“Do you know how buttons works?” “I don’t, not today, no. I forgot my brain when I came to hang out with you.”
-“The first thing we’re going to do is anal?”
-“My ass is shy.”

And so on. We obviously can’t embed the clip, but Gawker has it here. I will give Farrah credit for one thing: she supplies her daughter Sophia with only the finest furniture with dogs wearing crowns painted on it.

Yes, because a reality TV show “star” saying, “I forgot my brain when I came to hang out with you” in a hilariously ill-advised sex tape/porn/Game of Thrones audition/whatever is something we NEVER would have covered in the past.

Did I miss something? What is WWTDD? I don’t see it as an Uproxx site. It’s Smoking Section, Warming Glow, Gamma Squad, With Leather, Kissing Suzy Kolber, & Filmdrunk, right? So that would 2/6 … not quite everyone …

She’s a terrible porn actress. Her eyes are totally dead. Her boobs don’t move. Why aren’t her boobs moving?! I know women with implants, but they still move… Someone should have held up a check for her or something, she needs to fuck like she wants it. Although, better than Paris. So… yay?

She says “Baby… Yeah Baby” like a million times lol. I saw the video and I think she says Baby so many times to make the video feel more personal rather than a staged porn flick. Watch the trailer if you don’t believe me [farahabraham.com] , you’ll see she says “baby, baby, baby, baby, yeah baby” soooooo many times.