How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Her

Sometimes I read stories from men and women about the lengths they are willing to go to, to deceive, manipulate and cheat on their partners and I am absolutely disgusted. Now, I am not here to give you a hard time about your situation. I am sure you have already beat yourself up enough about it without me adding on to the pity pile.

So, instead of telling you that you were bad and that you messed up I am going to give you a solution on how you can approach your current predicament.

Of course, I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about that solution with you until I first gave you a little disclaimer.

Your Ex Girlfriends Perspective

As many of you know, in addition to this website, Ex Girlfriend Recovery, I also run another website called, Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

That website is essentially the women’s version of this one where I help women get their exes back. So, as you can imagine I have heard my fair share of, “my ex boyfriend cheated on me,” stories.

So, I have some good news and some bad news for you regarding your ex girlfriend.

Which would you like to hear first?

Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back? Find out in 2 Minutes...

Your ex girlfriend is going to be angry at you. So angry at you in fact that it is unlikely that she is going to take you back. You cheated on her and she has every right to be mad about that. The experience of you being unfaithful can hurt her for years (yes, I am not joking.)

That is something that you can’t just “get over” in a month.

So, the bad news is that getting an ex girlfriend back that you cheated on is probably the worst situation to be in (for you.) In other words, your chances are significantly lower.

Of course, I am going to show you what you need to do to succeed (in other words, the only method I have ever seen work for people.)

I did mention there was good news though, right?

Here is the good news.

As shocking as it may seem there are women who want their ex boyfriends back despite the fact that they cheated on them. I know it sounds crazy but hear my logic out for a moment.

I mentioned that I also run a fairly large site in addition to this one, right?

Well, that other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, has a page set aside specifically for women whose exes cheated on them.

Guess how many comments that page has?

415…

That means that there are a good number of women who are so in love with their boyfriends that they want them back even though they cheated on them.

So, the good news here is that even though your chances are without a doubt lowered if you cheated on your ex there is still hope because I have actual proof that there are women out there that will take a cheating ex back.

I guess the question you are now wondering is,

“How do I get my ex girlfriend back if I cheated on her?”

I am glad you asked.

Below I have put together a specific plan for you to follow for you to even have a chance of winning back your ex.

Before We Begin I Need To Tell You Something Important

Many men come to this website wanting to get their ex girlfriends back.

But there’s a problem with this line of thinking….

Getting an ex girlfriend back generally isn’t a simple process. It requires a lot of thought, strategy and even a little bit of luck.

The truth is that I can’t tell you everything that you absolutely need to know about getting your ex girlfriend back in this article.

For me to say that I can would be a lie.

Luckily, I have created something that can tell you just about everything you absolutely need to know to get your ex girlfriend back.

The Cheating Recovery Plan

You will notice that in the graphic above there are really 5 steps to the “cheating recovery plan.”

Pretty nifty name huh?

I am known for going into great detail on pretty much every single topic you can possibly think about so the graphic above is going to be no different. The five topics talked about there are,

The No Contact Rule

Showing Intense Commitment

Ending The Relationship

Regaining Trust

Rebuilding Attraction

I suppose we should start with the no contact rule.

The Importance Of The No Contact Rule For Cheaters

It sounds like the opposite of what you should be doing doesn’t it?

I mean, every fiber of your being probably wants to make up for what you did (cheating on your girlfriend) by writing long elegant apology letters, begging for her forgiveness or literally doing whatever she tells you to do until she takes you back.

What do all of those behaviors (writing letters, begging or following her every instruction by essentially becoming her slave) have in common?

If you guessed that none of them are what attractive people do then you would be right.

Look, I am not going to beat around the bush here. Your ex girlfriend does want you to beg for her back. She does want you to do everything humanly possible to prove to her that your indiscretion was a one time thing and it will never happen again.

However, right after you drop the “cheating bomb” or she breaks up with you isn’t the time to convince her to take you back.

Timing is everything when it comes to this.

Hmm…

Perhaps I could explain this a little better to you if I use a few examples.

Ok, you are here because you cheated, she found out and you obviously want her back. The problem with trying to convince her to take you back immediately after a breakup is that she is going to be more angry, hurt and disappointed in you than you can imagine.

Look, cheating on your significant other is the absolute worst thing that you can do in a relationship. There is NOTHING that hurts more. So, you have to understand that your ex girlfriend is going to need some time to level out emotionally.

The no contact rule can give her that time.

Of course, it also allows you not to do something stupid like begging for her back.

Why is begging for her back a bad idea?

NC vs Begging

Lets say that I am dating a girl and I cheat on her (which I would never do but this is an example so stick with me here.)

Alright, so I cheated on this imaginary girl and she found out. Obviously she isn’t going to be too happy with me. Now lets imagine that I beg for her back.

How do I go about this?

I blow up her cell phone with calls, texts and voicemails apologizing for what I did. In fact, I even go a step further and start writing her these long involved letters hoping that she will have some epiphany and take me back. While I guarantee that she will like the attention this won’t help my ultimate goal of getting her back.

Why not?

Because the wound of you cheating is still too fresh and you haven’t done anything to prove to her that things are going to change the second time around.

Talk is cheap and action is everything, remember that.

Now, lets take the same exact imaginary situation (me cheating on an imaginary girl) and look at how I would go about regaining her trust to win her back with the no contact rule.

Every fiber of my being is probably going to be telling me to beg for her back but I am not going to do that. Instead, I will probably send a simple text message like this,

(Side Note: Usually I don’t like recommending that people give a warning when they go into NC but I feel in this case, since you cheated, an exception has to be made.)

After that text message I would probably go into either a 21, 30, 45 or 60 day no contact rule. It is during this change that I would make some massive changes with my life (which I am going to cover in the next section entitled “Showing Intense Commitment.”)

Why are these changes in my life important?

Because they are all going to be geared towards proving (not just showing) that you are a trustworthy person.

So, lets pull back for a second and really take a look at whats happening here.

Instead of begging for my imaginary ex back I decided to write a heartfelt apology and immediately duck into the no contact rule. As I am in the middle of the no contact rule I am doing things to prove that I am a trustworthy person. In other words, I am making some massive changes with my life to prove I can change my cheating ways.

Why is this so much more effective than begging?

Well, for one no girl finds begging super attractive. Remember, women are attracted to alphas not betas and men who beg are betas. Also, even though you can beg for your ex girlfriend back you aren’t doing anything to show her that you are a different, better and more trustworthy version of yourself.

The no contact rule gives you time to change your ways. It gives you time to prove that you are someone who can be completely trusted. However, most importantly, it allows you to be missed.

NC > Begging.

Showing Intense Commitment

Lets pretend for a moment that your girlfriend cheated on you instead of the other way around.

Assuming that you are someone who gives second chances what would she have to do in order to win your heart back?

Speaking personally if someone cheated on me I would want to see an intense commitment by them to changing their ways or removing themselves from any type of situation that people often cheat in. For example, if a girl I was dating went to a club, found a guy there, danced with that guy and then eventually went home and slept with that guy then I am probably not going to be too thrilled of the idea of her going out to clubs after I break up with her.

Lets do a role swap using the same exact situation. However, instead of it being me and some imaginary girl lets pretend its you and your girlfriend.

So, to recap in case you forgot.

You went to a club, found a girl, took that girl home and eventually slept with her. Oh, and you did this all behind your girlfriends back. Obviously when your girlfriend finds out she is going to break up with you. Now, lets fast forward a few weeks when your ex girlfriend is really missing you (despite you cheating on her) and one of her girlfriends ends up spotting you at another club.

When your ex hears that she is going to immediately think,

“Wow, he hasn’t changed at all. There is no way I would ever want to get back with him if he keeps clubbing because he would probably cheat on me.”

This is where the intense commitment bit comes in.

How To Show Intense Commitment

This part isn’t going to be easy to hear but it has to be heard.

Any type of behavior that can make your ex girlfriend think of cheating has to be eliminated.

What are these types of behaviors?

Getting drunk.

Going to clubs (for a while.)

Going to bars (for a while.)

Hitting on other women.

I am going to take a moment now and describe the threat of each of these behaviors and why you are going to have to avoid them at all costs.

Getting Drunk

You want to know what the most cited reason is for cheating?

“I was drunk… it was a mistake.”

Now, that’s a total BS answer but I have heard way too many stories from people using it as a crutch for cheating. Look, women have crazy minds (much more crazy than a mans mind.) So, trust me when I say that you getting drunk can lead their mind down a rabbit hole that eventually associates it with cheating.

So, rather than taking this chance of having your ex look at you like an unchanged man I say cut out drinking altogether.

Of course, if you do like a beer every now and then at least promise yourself that you won’t get drunk.

Show some commitment to this.

Going To Clubs And Bars

I have a question I want to ask you.

Why do most single men go to clubs and bars?

Let’s not beat around the bush here, it’s to get laid.

Yes, we are all men here and we all know that most men go to bars and clubs to pick up chicks. Your ex girlfriend isn’t stupid and realizes this fact. So, if for some reason she catches wind that you are going to a club or a bar she already has that association formed in her head and she is going to think that you are the same old guy that cheated on her.

So, show some commitment and be willing to sacrifice going to the clubs and bars.

Hitting On Other Women

I have a feeling that this is going to be one of the more challenging tasks that I ask of you.

Look, you are single and I am assuming that you are pretty good with women because you got a girlfriend (and you cheated on her.) So, that tells me that you know how to seduce.

Well, if you really want your ex girlfriend back then you are going to have to stop flirting with other women. You will have to stop hitting on them too. Your sole focus needs to be on one woman, the woman you want to get back.

End The Relationship

You and your ex girlfriend weren’t the only ones affected by your infidelity.

The person you cheated with is likely going to be affected as well.

Look, I already know that you want your ex girlfriend back but how are you supposed to handle the third party that is also going to be affected by this?

If you want my greatest piece of advice when it comes to winning back an ex you cheated on it would be this,

You need to end whatever relationship you have with the person you cheated with completely.

(I did an extensive talk about this in my other guide on cheating if you would like a more in-depth insight than what I am about to provide below.)

What Does Ending The Relationship Completely Mean?

Lets look at things from your ex girlfriends perspective for a moment.

Lets say that your ex is thinking seriously about taking you back but is having some serious reservations about doing so because you are still good friends with the girl that you cheated on her with. What about if your ex actually did take you back but you were still good friends with the girl you cheated on her with?

Something tells me that your ex is going to be worried about history repeating itself.

One of the biggest mistakes I see that men make when they are in this particular situation is that they don’t have the stones to be a little mean and end a relationship with the girl that is the cause of all of their exes pain.

Look, I am not a fan of burning bridges but in the end it all boils down to this.

Who do you want more?

Your ex girlfriend (the reason you are here) or the girl you cheated on her with?

If you are serious about getting your ex girlfriend back then show that intense commitment to here and don’t be afraid to be a little mean to this other girl.

Block the girl from calling or texting you.

Block her from all forms of social media.

Never see her again in person.

Essentially cut her out of your life entirely.

Is this too harsh and a bit much?

Probably.

But here is the way I look at it.

Lets say you advance pretty far in your quest to get your girlfriend back. After months of slowly rebuilding trust you finally go on a date with her.

This is it.

You FINALLY have her one on one again and it’s your chance to prove to her that you’ve turned over a new leaf. Of course, eventually your ex is going to get curious and ask the question that all exes will eventually ask in this situation.

“So, how’s (insert name of person you cheated on her with?)”

This is a question with meaning behind it.

If an ex girlfriend ever asks you something like this then that means she is trying to figure out what your relationship with that particular person is like.

It is at this point that you have two options which will all depend on whether or not you took my advice.

Option One- You Are Still Friends With The Person You Cheated On Her With

(AKA, The Wrong Option)

Lets say for a minute that you are an idiot and didn’t take my advice of completely ending your relationship with the person you cheated on your ex girlfriend with. Well, one of the main doubts in your exes head on whether or not she wants to get back with you is if history is going to repeat itself.

Specifically with this one person.

So, the second that your ex asks you the age old question that prys about your relationship with that one person and you tell her that you are still friends with that person then that is going to add extra doubt into your exes head which is going to make it twice as hard to get her back.

Option Two- You Haven’t Spoken To That Person Since The Incident (You Cut Them Out Of Your Life)

(AKA, The Right Option)

Alright, now lets say that you were smart and you did take my advice about cutting the girl you cheated on your ex with completely out of your life.

When your ex asks the question and you tell her that you got rid of her as a friend, as a phone contact and all social media your ex is going to be very impressed and instead of doubt creeping into her head the exact opposite thing will creep into her head, trust.

Speaking of trust.

Regaining Your Ex Girlfriends Trust

I am sure you have realized by now that everything that I have told you to do up to this point has been to slowly regain your exes trust.

You see, during your relationship with your ex she probably trusted you entirely. She told you things that she hasn’t told anyone and you were probably always the first person she went to when she had a problem. If you could rate her trust in you on a scale it would be a 10 out of 10.

Of course, now that you cheated on her she has no trust in you at all.

(That’s a 0 out of 10 in case you were wondering.)

Women don’t just get over being cheated on. In fact, I wouldn’t be shocked if it took them years to finally come to terms with your betrayal. I want you to understand that this isn’t going to be an overnight process. You see, most guys waltz in here and think that in a couple of weeks if they do the things I suggested above their ex is going to magically come back to them.

Your very naive if you think this process is going to take just a couple of weeks.

No, this is going to take months and sometimes even years. In other words, it is going to require your commitment and blind faith (which is something that isn’t always easy to have when it comes to this process.)

If you can’t bring those qualities to the table then you might as well not even try.

Why are these qualities so important?

Because without those qualities it will be impossible to win back your exes trust.

Commitment & Blind Faith

Rebuilding trust takes two things.

Yup, you guessed it.

Commitment and Blind Faith!

Lets talk a little about commitment first.

When I say commitment I am not just talking about it in the sense that you have to commit to your ex girlfriend (meaning no other girls.) No, I am talking about how you have to commit to the process of getting her back. You can’t take any shortcuts and you have to do things the hard way which sometimes isn’t easy when there isn’t a guarantee of success.

Of course, this is where the blind faith comes in handy.

Look, I am not going to lie to you. Even if you do everything right on this page you might not succeed in getting your ex girlfriend back. Most men are paralyzed by this fact and as a result don’t put in the proper amount of effort that is required to build trust.

But every once in a while a special type of man comes along. The type of man who believes so much in this process that he is willing to remain disciplined and put in the proper amount of work it takes to win back a girls heart.

This type of man has blind faith.

Do you see what I am getting at here?

YOU need to be this type of man.

The Process of Rebuilding Attraction

So far this guide has covered one main aspect of getting an ex girlfriend back, rebuilding trust.

Unfortunately, rebuilding trust in your ex isn’t going to be enough to win her heart back.

The other piece of the puzzle has to do with rebuilding attraction. You see, women are in love with courtship, romance and chemistry and you took a pretty big tumble in those departments when you cheated on your girlfriend.

Fortunately I have a plan for you to proceed if you are looking to make up in the “rebuild attraction” category. Here’s the thing though, rebuilding attraction is such a complicated process that I can’t really sum it up in a small paragraph for you.

What Would You Do With a Proven SystemThat Allowed You to Attract Any Woman You Wanted (Including Your Ex)

What Do You Think? (482)

Soho

August 17, 2017

Hi, thank you for your contribution here. I have read a lot on this website and keep thinking that my situation is somewhat different where my actions may need to be customized from the guidelines emphasized on this website. I feel that this article is most related to me, but even then, there is a difference in which I want the girl I cheated WITH back, not the one I cheated ON. But that is speaking in simple terms. The fact is that I already broke up with my previous girlfriend (so I didn’t really cheat, we were in the process of completely cutting ties). But the new girl who broke up with me a few days ago, thinks I cheated on my old girl, with her. So I guess she has a trust issue now? Or thinks she was a distraction? So I already apologized. I feel I should give her NC for awhile, but I think not too long, and I think texting after NC should involve more apologizing?

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 17, 2017

Nope.. You didn’t cheat on her, no need to apologize many times

Lui

June 30, 2017

Hi! My girlfriend broke up with me after cheating on her. Not any hidden relationship but punctual meetings with some girls, just to fill up my stupid ego………3 girls. One meeting with each. I really regret how stupid I have been and what I have lost…… Anyway. After begging for oportunity just 3 days after, she told me clearly that there is no point we can rebuild this…. Im doing a period of NC. But I want to know after period, how to get in touch again with her? What to say? Keep saying how much I regret to show commitment or how to act? Im lost in this point….

EGR Team Member: Amor

very_much_lost

June 23, 2017

Hey guys, I need some quick advice.

I realize the chances of a success get-back-together depends a lot on the circumstances of the breakup and the nature of the relationship. Everything was literally amazing until the moment i was caught cheating. The problem was that I cheated on her with my ex in the past and when she saw the texts, it was over. Afterwards, I did everything I could to make things worse, acting needy and jealous. After a lot of burning where she finally told me I should move on, and she never wanted to see me again, we went NC. It’s about to reach a month. If she hasn’t contacted me at all for a month, should I break NC or wait for the 45/60 day nc mark?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2017

do it as the advice above.. and be active in improving yourself..

Jeremy

June 17, 2017

My situation is a little more complicated. I was dating my now ex for about a year. This came not too long after a 7 year relationship with the girl before her. We had instant chemistry. But she was very reserved on actually dating. She just wanted to see me on the weekends, and keep it casual. I later found out this was due to deep trust issues. I convinced her to date me. It was amazing. We seemed perfect for each other. Although I was still talking to others girls innapropriately that I had met in-between the two, some of which I had slept with before we started dating. She caught me texting a few times and hated it. She was extremely insecure, and basically wanted me to have zero contact with any girl at all. One night we were at one of her friends one year olds Birthday party. Bother her and her friend are from Peru. And her friends husband is from Korea. There was about a hundred people there, 4 of which spoke good enough english(my only language) to have a conversation with. I was conversing with one of her friends that I had met one of the first times we had hung out. I considered her my friend as well. My girlfriend freaked out on her, and then on me. Telling me how inappropriate it was, and that I had made her look like a fool. Within the week she saw another random message on my phone, nothing innapropriate, but it was enough. She told me I needed to be single for a while to get it out of my system. I didn’t agree, but was quite annoyed at this point anyways. I told her I would respect what she wished. In that moment, I doubted my love for her. Was this “other stuff” just too much for me to deal with? Would it be easier with someone more trusting? Do I just like the idea of being with her? I called up an old girlfriend, we went out to dinner, went back to her place, and had sex. It was terrible, I felt disgusted, and left immediately after. I called back my ex, made plans to get together, and we met up that weekend. We went for a walk. I don’t know exactly what was said, but I had decided in that moment, I would be everything she ever wanted. Even though we didn’t agree on what was acceptable and unacceptable for a relationship, I would be exactly the way she thought was right. I deleted snapchat, I blocked and deleted every girl I had any contact with, and told others that I saw once in a while that, that was no longer appropriate for me. It worked. We had never been closer. And I was even feeling better about myself. I didn’t have to sneak my phone around her, in fact, just the opposite. I was leaving it around her unlocked on purpose. I wanted to gain her trust. That backfired one amazing Sunday. We learned her ex never picked up her son from her mothers house when we woke up at my house. I got my kids ready, and told her we had 5 minutes to leave. We rushed down there, picked him up, and just got to my sons soccer game on time. Her son, my older son, and I played catch in the park while she rested at a table. After soccer we grabbed my dog and headed to the lake and went swimming. Afterwards I made everyone lunch at home and we played outside more. It was the perfect day. We were a real family. We went in the house without the kids later to lay down. I wasn’t tired so I got up shortly after to clean up the house. Thats when she called me back into the bedroom. She was on my phone and saw I got a message on instagram. It just said hey, and I said who’s this, and they said never mind. Meant nothing to me. And then I got a little defensive saying how perfect I had been the past 2 months since we had gotten back together. I harped on the 2 month thing a little too much, and she started questioning what I did two months ago. Out of pure idiocy, and thinking we were doing so good together now, I told her the truth. It was devastating for her. We talked for a little bit, and it seemed like we might be able to get through it, but she decided to leave. And with all three of our kids being in the house, I couldn’t make a scene. So I let her go. The next day she informed me she couldn’t take it any more. We were done. For good. When I tried pleading with her that I had changed, all on m y own, she wanted to hear nothing of the sort. And then she told me she had had meaningless sex that very next day, but at least it wasn’t a lie. I don’t know if that was true or not, but I do know how bad it hurt. She completely blocked me out several days later, and I basically have no way of contacting her now. I don’t know what to do. I want her back. I want her to be the next, and last girl I ever have sex with. I want to make it my life goal for that girl to trust me more than anyone she ever has or will. I know I have to give her her space right now. Her friends have told me she’s a crying mess, and doesn’t even want to talk about me at all. How long should I wait? I am so scared she will think I moved on. For me, that 2 months of being perfect to her meant the world to me. I had proven I could do it. But to her, it just seemed like the same it had always been. This girl is the love of my life, I’m just a typical idiot guy, that took way too long to figure that out. Any advice would be very appreciated.

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 26, 2017

Hi Jeremy,

Are yoy following the advice above?

H

June 12, 2017

Hi,

I was in a relationship with the love of my life for 4 years and a half, we break up 2 days ago as she caught me sex chatting with her friend. It was a one night thing, I was a little bit drunk and her friend came chatting with me and we started sex chatting knowing it was wrong on both sides. She even exchanged nudes, we said some nasty stuffs, I don’t want to mention any details as I am so ashamed of my actions. I didn’t mean to hurt my girlfriend as she means the world to me, I know when you love someone you don’t hurt her. But things went out of control with her. The sex chat began 2 weeks ago, For 1 hour. And I felt so guilty that we stopped and I asked her to delete all proofs of our wrong doings. But I think she screenshot some of the conversation and also felt guilty and went to talk to my girlfriend about her cheating boyfriend (me), but she gave her version of the story, she must have sugarcoat this and blaming only me in this act. And two days ago, my girlfriend sent me the screenshot and blocked me afterwards, I tried calling her like a 100 times, but she didn’t answer. I texted her, still no reply. She said to my mom that it’s all over and that I am a jerk that I promised that I would’ve never done something like that again (yes again as at the start of the relationship, I cheated on her physically, it’s a long story, but i was not really sure of my feelings though it’s not a reason.) But this time I messed up big time. I should have stayed away from that girl, I am so sorry for my actions and I don’t want to say that it was alcohol that made me do this. I fully take responsibility for this and I don’t want to lose her. For the fisrt time of my life I’ve think seriously about ending it all. I am not a fragile person, but my ex girlfriend (it pains me to call her ex gf) was everything for me. I must have f*cked up twice in this relationship, i got caught on both occasion, I am a man who can keep it in my pants. I am not a player, I didn’t played her on purpose, I had no intentions of sleeping with that girl or any other girl. I just want to go back and undo my wrong, and never reply to that girl. I love her so much. I can’t imagine a future without her by my side. I am totally destroyed and I think she is too, she trusted me and I fucked everything up. I just don’t want to lose her, I will do anything possible to prove to her that I am not a jerk, that I love her so much. She doesn’t want to hear from me. And I understand, Is it possible to get her back?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 25, 2017

Try the advice above..its not a guarantee but it increases your chances

Sipi

July 6, 2017

Hay man I’m going through the exact same situation,minus the physical and twice. But I hope you won or win your battle. Iv just discovered this site. My journey to reunited with the love of my life starts now. Good luck man I know how you feel

Byron

June 8, 2017

I’m in a sticky situation? Quite recently me and girlfriend broke because she found that I was sexting my ex. So we broke up? For the past 3 weeks she had been telling me how she was willing to give it another go and give me a chance of proving my love to her? We was planning on taking things slow again, just getting used to being around each other again and a few days ago she said she didn’t want to do it no more? After 3 weeks of telling me she did, how much she loved me and telling me deep personal stuff that she hasn’t told anyone else before? So I blocked her off of everything so I don’t the temptation to annoy her by messaging her and she moaned at me for it? Even though we aren’t together she accused me of talking to someone whom I am haven’t spoke to in months and screen shorted the conversation? So like what do I do? I regret what I did every day..there’s not a day goes by without knowing that I broke the love of my life’s heart coming to mind? She said she still loves me but doesn’t want to get back together? Which is understandable…but I want to prove to her than I can change…how much she means to me and how sorry I really am. If anyone has advice then please

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 16, 2017

do you want to try the advice above?

John

May 8, 2017

Chris,

Thank you so much for everything you have written you have taken a lot of pressure off of me and helped me deal with my terrible breakup. I started dating my ex my sophomore year of college and we fell in love so fast. I never believed in love and never thought I would meet someone like her. Last year we took a break where she was stressed about a lot of stuff and ended up fooling around with a couple of guys but nothing that meant anything. She wanted me back and I accepted. Then came the hardest part of our relationship. She was going to London for the summer and I was in Virginia. Before she left she did not want to stay together because she wasn’t sure if I would be able to handle it. I talked her into it and thought I could do it. Everything went well when she went to London and we hung out a few times before she left to go to Paris to go abroad for the whole semester (September to December). Unfortunately, I became really stressed about stuff and started to drink heavily to the point where I would blackout and not know what happened. I made out with one girl and my girlfriend found out and was pissed but gave me a chance immediately. I never opened up to her about my stress because I didn’t want her to worry about me when she was abroad having the time of her life. I continued to drink heavily and slept with another girl twice. One time I don’t remember and the second time I did remember. I did not think the girl would say anything so I decided to not say anything to my ex and hopefully she would never find out. I visited her Thanksgiving break and that was when I knew I wanted to marry her. We had the time of our lives and it was the best week of my life. We hung out during Christmas break and she came back to college and we had a pretty good semester. I play baseball and I was away on a trip and got a text calling me out for cheating again. I tried to lie my way out of it by saying it was rumors and that the girl was crazy and made other rumors up too about other guys. I lied to my girl and told her that I didn’t remember anything and she said that we could continue the relationship but start over. I was very willing to do that but the next day her best friend texted me saying that the DMs between me and the girl were exposed. I owned up to it and apologized for everything. I begged her to not cut me out of her life and to give me a chance (not what I should have done I know). She got invited to beach weekend by this frat douche and I knew she was gonna seek revenge. We continued to be friends and support each other through this tough time. We still made out when we saw each other and told each other that we love and miss each other. She went home for Easter and my family came to see me at school. We didn’t talk for a couple of days and she texted me saying if I needed to talk to anyone after I told my parents that she would be there for me. I told her I told my parents some bullshit story because I was embarrassed of what I did. She called me and spilled her heart out and said that she’s so sad at home because of all the pictures and stuff of us and that she’s sorry she caused this by going abroad. I told her it was not her fault at all that it was all on me and that I’m learning a lot from it and she was really happy to hear that. She continued talking to me during the weekend and we had some good talks and then she asked me how I planned to propose to her since she would never get to experience it. That ripped my heart out and sucked to read. She came back to school and one night texted me saying she missed me and she wasn’t sure and wanted to come over. I was asleep and she texted me again apologist in the morning and saying it was inappropriate and she was feeling really lonely and shitty but realize her problem was she relied on me for her happiness and she needed to stop that. She asked to hang out later that day and we cuddled and talked. Her roommate walked in and was pissed so I left when the roommate left the room. I kept asking her to hang out days later and she said she was busy then I went away for the weekend and we didn’t talk (she had a lot of sorority parties) then she had her formal and brought the same frat douche from the beach thing. He treated her like crap and freaked out that night and texted me how miserable she is and how she lost me and how it sucks so much that no one will care about her as much as I did. Then my team had our annual party and I had a feeling she would show up and she did. We had an amazing time and danced and made out and then she left and came over the next day and said she had a blast. The next night she went to a party at the frat the kid was in and I texted her saying we were having a party too if she wanted to stop over and she said maybe. Then a couple of days later she came over. We cuddled and talked and started to make out and she stopped me. She asked me if I made out with her just because I wanted to have sex with her and I said no way that I love her because of how amazing she is. Then she stopped and ran to the bathroom and said she was nauseous. She came out and said that I shouldn’t want to hang out with her and I said why and she said that I would hate her if I told her and I said no just tell me and she told me that she had sex with that kid twice. She told me it was a total mistake because he doesn’t care about her. I felt bad and told her I was not angry and I shouldn’t be because we aren’t together anymore. I calmed her down after she got really upset and then I gave her a letter that I planned on giving her before I left for graduation. She loved the letter and it talked about how amazing she is and how much she has done for me. We end up making out and then she initiates us having sex. We made love and it was the most passionate we have each had. She said so many loving things to me and it seemed like we were gonna get back together. We got dinner after and then she came over two days later. We made out again but she had to go quickly because she was moving out of her dorm and the movers came. She came back the following day for one last time. She gave me a graduation card that thanked me for everything i did for her. I asked her why we had sex and if she was just using me to get over what she did with that kid. She said no and that we both needed to be loved and that she is still attracted to me. As we said goodbye we made out and I asked if she wanted to make love one last time and she said no. She left to go to beach weekend with all of her friends and we didn’t talk for the whole weekend but she would snapchat me random stuff. She texted me this morning saying she was coming over to pick up the TV my roommate was selling to her. Unfortunately I had practice when she was gonna show up so I told her that and she seemed disappointed because she wanted to say goodbye. I wrote her a letter saying I wish I could say bye and that I love her and miss her and I bought her some snacks for her 8 hour car ride home. She texted me saying that it was so sweet and that I didn’t have to do that and she really appreciated it. I said that I love doing that stuff for her and she didn’t reply back (probably because she’s driving) I told her in the note to call me if she got bored on the drive back but she’s in the car with a friend. I still haven’t gotten a call yet and she has got about 4 more hours. I am stuck here for another month and graduation is next week and her birthday is in 2 weeks. How should I approach the future? I am lost. I will be moving to D.C. for my job in July and she’s doing an internship in NYC starting in June so she will be home with her family for a month and then her senior year of college starts in late August. I will only be 4 hours from her but I don’t know how to approach this to get her back and earn her trust back. PLEASE HELP ME. I am sorry for the long comment

John

June 9, 2017

So update to all of this. She texted me on graduation with a very long text and I sent her one back that made her cry. She was upset she couldn’t be there. She seemed to keep herself busy at home while I was bored and non stop thinking about her. We talk off and on and when we do she sometimes stops answering and sometimes I double text her and she makes an excuse. Recently she told me she misses me a lot. She was on vacation with her family and send me a picture of her tan lines on her legs with her hand in a sexual position which I was very surprised about. She told me that she can’t stop replaying the last time we had sex over in her head and then asked when I come home. I told her I wasn’t sure when I will be home and she said when I get home that she wants to get dinner. A few days later she saw a Snapchat of this girl she knows at my apartment because she was visiting my roommates girlfriend. She thought I was hooking up with her and kept questioning me which I was not. She then asked if I had hooked up with anyone and I told her yes I made out with a girl the week prior and she was very jealous and acted a little crazy. We were off and on talking a few more days when she liked my profile pic on Facebook and I asked her why she liked my picture but didn’t text me back and she said because she likes looking at pictures of me. Then we talked one night and I finally wanted to know what she is thinking. She told me that right now she isn’t looking for a relationship and she’s sorry for giving me mixed signals but she is having major trust issues with everyone in her life. She says she won’t date me or anyone else for many years (might be bullshit). Then she said that if I didn’t want to be friends with her because of that then it’s up to me. We haven’t spoken in 4 days but she still sends me snapchats (I think they are mass snaps). I might be home within the next week. What should I do right now?

EGR Team Member: Amor

June 25, 2017

If you’re going to follow the advice above, that means no talking to her even if you’re near

vijay

April 20, 2017

Hi…. (Sorry for weak English) i am in relationship with my girlfriend form 2 and half years, she was cheat me and she completely apologies about what she did and i forgive her, i don’t know why it happen, and i never ask to her why she did it because many time there is no answerers, i trust on her blindly (after what she did or before never it happen), i am not saying that i a good but i am (one women man) i love her so much. but now days i trying to make her happy, trying to do something which feel her good or talk more and more, trying to get her back in love as she was before, but i don’t know what can i do……

EGR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2017

Hi Vijay, Do you want to try the advice above?

Andrew

February 22, 2017

So my girlfriend of 2 years and I broke up monday night. A few weeks ago I messed up big time and messaged a girl and asked her for nudes and my girlfriend found out. After a lot of talking about it she seemed line she was going to give me one more chance. But than last night while she was at work she was talking to a female coworker about the situation and she said she didn’t think it was going to be possible ton keep a relationship. So after she got home we talked for about an hour about it and after a lot of apologising and hugging she said if it wasn’t for my lying and me doing that everything would have been perfect. We were to the point of our relationship where we were talking about getting married and she told me she had never wanted to get married before she met me. I can’t ever change what I did to her and it crushes my soul just thinking about how bad it must have hurt her. And so after our talk last night I told her I would give her the space she asked for as she has a big test in 2 weeks for work that’s she’s worried about. And I had never met anyone who I actually could see myself getting married to before her so I think we actually had something special and I ask myself every day since that night what the hell is wrong with me that I could do that to her. But today was the first day of no contact and she has texted me 4 times asking if I’m ok and than saying that she hopes I’m ok. And than why I’m not responding to her texts. She has called me twice so far and snapchatted me 4 times. I want to be better for her and be the man that she deserves and I have started working out again a week ago and I am working on addressing my issues to make me the best me. But I don’t know which length of no contact to use and I want to make things right with this amazing woman

Andrew

Oh and by the way last night after our breakup she said she still loves me so much but she doesn’t love what I did and doesn’t know if she can trust me

EGR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2017

Hi Andrew,

did you send an apology text like above? I think you should do 30 days.

John

January 22, 2017

So I’ve been with my ex girlfriend for about 5-6 years things were as high and they can get and of course at times it was tough and we went through the motions she never broke i eventually did, she would be mean to me never really enjoyed wanting to have sex a lot of things that took place had me I guess you can say “check out” a girl who I had known for quite some time contacted me to play flag football no harm there right? But it became more than that at that point we hadn’t spoke in years and haven’t even seen her in years so I thought this was just a coincidence but no I broke and I cheated no once but several times fast forward in time my girlfriend takes me back after bout 6 months time goes by again we both make some silly mistakes I lied bout a job xmas party ( I work 2 jobs so I forgot bout the party I told her I was home sleeping and stopped by for a while) she did some lying as well and was even texting another man while she was with me but i saw and knew the bigger picture couldn’t be sooo mad and hurt by her doing that I tried to stand strong and truck forward now weeks later she tells me she can’t do this anymore despite loving me so much she said she feels lost and miserable that she can’t be with me even though all she wants is the he with me now she isn’t speaking with me and it’s really hurting to me because this time around I’m 1059583948833% all in she’s the woman I want to marry and the woman I want to have my kids with now I feel I have no confidence no self worth and I feel so unwanted yesterday I guess I broke we hadn’t spoke for bout a week or so I sent her flowers and edible arrangements no response nada is it cause she doesn’t care for me anymore or is she just trying to figure her self out? I’ve done all these steps before to get her back but now I feel like i need some different game planning advice it’s really hard and I love her we were actually officially a couple again until she just decided she doesn’t and can’t be with me anymore

EGR Team Member: Amor

Nathan

So I have massively screwed up to the point she does not even want to see me. Basically 6 months into our relationship I cheated on her and ever since have felt guilty before her finding out.

When she did we carried on for a couple of months but recently she ended it saying she does not feel the same. I’ve gone about it the wrong way and pleaded citing how much I love her and how I would move to where she is (we are semi long distance). The distance thing isn’t so much as issue as that was the plan anyway to surprise her with it prior to breaking up.

She says she simply cannot see us ever getting back together. Is there any chance??

EGR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2017

Hi Nathan,

do you want to try the advice above?

Abhi

December 28, 2016

I was in a relationship with my girl for about more than 7 years . It was all great since last year when she went to Australia and i was all alone left. We skyped and had a talk regularly . And it was one day when a girl from my office approached me and i was carried away at that moment.We went out for dates and dinner and even got to different cities for fun trips. Eventually one of my friend who was a mutual friend between me and my girl told her everything about what was happening here. My girl called me up and fought with me and broke up.But i do really love her,It was just that moment i got carried away and i dont know how!. What do i do?

EGR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2016

Hi Abhi,

do you want to try the advice above?

Josh

December 15, 2016

This, believe it or not, is the short version. I was married for 8 years with two kids. The relationship steadily began to fall apart. Towards the end I met an amazing girl, Carol. And yes I cheated on my wife with her. I fell in love with Carol but always felt like I was still cheating on my wife. I left Carol to try again with the wife. The wife had moved on, so I confessed about my cheating. The wife struggled at first but was ok with it. She told me to be with Carol if that’s what I truly wanted. So I did. The wife and carol met and talked and everything seemed like it was going to be ok. I fell immediatly back in love with carol and things wete going so well. After a few weeks, the wife told me that she wanted me back. In a weak moment, I slept with my soon to be ex wife. The wife felt that I was playing her and became angry so she told carol. Carol of course broke up with me. This was yesterday. I’m so devastated and crushed. She loved me so completely like no one ever has. I was so close to happiness but threw it all away over some kind of … I don’t really even know why I did what I did. This was yesterday, so carol is hurt and angry. She talked to me for three hours last night on the phone, so I have hope that she still loves me. She said some nasty things but wanted to keep talking. She cried and I cried. She laughed when I even suggested rebuilding. I know she needs time and so do I, but I feel a little hopeless at the same time. She says I couldn’t love her f I cheated. I disagree. It was a rough time at the end of a marriage and I should have waited to proceed with Carol. Anything would help here. I already know I’m a piece of shit, so let’s just assume that is understood.

EGR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2016

Hi Josh,

do you want to try the advice above?

Kyle

October 19, 2016

Hello there – We were in real love me and my gf and I was doing everything to make her feel good and trust me as we live in different countries and wants something really serious from her. I did a mistake, and continued a conversation a friend of mine was having with a random girl from my phone with absolutely zero intentions to cheat or do anything more serious about messaging for fun. it happened for only 2, 3 days and that was it. She saw the messages on my phone (never deleted them since I didnt have any intentional actions of cheating of hurting…) and got frustrated but didnt allow any conversation about the subject. Days later, she didn’t take any of my calls so i sent her couple of messages saying I am truly sorry and I am willing to do anything to make it work again, as I know my real intentions behind it. 4 days after the incident, we spoke over the phone and she insisted that she’s hurt and this was the last thing she was expecting from me. she mentionned that she needs time to think. few messages were exchanged (one per 2, 3 days) only me saying sorry and her saying she’s hurt and need time to think clearly and she might see these things differently). I really love the girl, I admitted my mistake bigtime but I also showed my intentions and it had nothing to do with jeopardizing our relatonship at all. i stupidly did it, and I know i am not addicted or I never look at these stuff at all. Living in a different country, I havent done anything wrong at all with anyone, not even called any other girl than her. The incident happened almost 10 days back, and we are in No-talk phase now. Any suggestions? I was thinking to travel in the week-end and confront her eyes-to-eyes as I am confident from who I am and what I want from her. Thanks a lot!

EGR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2016

Hi Kyle,

in this case.. I agree that you should try to talk to her first..

Simon-Pierre Clermont

October 17, 2016

Hello there (sorry for my english im french) I realy dont know what to do! Here is my story… I met a girl 3 month ago and everything was going realy well no big fights nothing and 3 weeks ago i woke up and she was crying in bed i asked her why she was crying she told me “for nothing” i asked her if i did something wrong she sed “yes” i tryed to talk to her and asked her if she went on my cell phone she sed “no why?” i told her that my ex gf invited me to her house and i sed no but she was insistant and she told me that it dident make her feal good about it and dident want to talk more about it… So i left to work and it went on for a week and we talked a bit about it but we still had sex and everything… To let you know about my ex… She is a manipulating self centered perssonne she think about herself and herself alone… For exemple she has a 2 year old girl and she never wanted kids but the way she raise her kid is not for the well-being of the kid but her own image and her own ego and i can go on for hours about how she is… Last time i was dating a girl, she was my boss at work and we couldn’t date each other but we did anyway like 2 month after we started dating my ex txted me saying she wanted to see me(she always do that for sex) i told her no but she insisted and i told her that i was seing someone… She got realy realy mad and stoped txting me… 2 days after she wanted to see me i was working and saw her coming in the store and i went to ask her what she was doing here.. She sed she was here to make a complaint about my boss(the girl i was dating) and i asked her why and she just smiled…(i knew then what she was here for… To tell the big boss that we were dating) i beged her not to do it ect and i sed okey to go see her( i never did by the way) and she smiled and sed “good” afted that she txted me asking wen i was coming over and i sed wen i had time… After 3 days of telling her lies ect she stoped txting and she dident dident contact me until after me and the girl stoped dating… (if you ask why did i keep her in my life the answer is because of her daughter! I raised that kid since she was 6 month old till she was 2) So the onely way to get ride of her is by making her feal im treating her like shit and making her see that im just playing around… Yeah i know its weard…

So back to the main story… A week ago after she thinked that i sheated on her and everything i went to see her at her job(bar) And everything went great till the bar closed and she started reacusing me of cheating on her… I told her that i never cheated on her and i never thought about it! I even give her my cell phone with the txt with my ex and she saw the txt that sed ” if you had told me earlier to come and see you i would i would have come” but i never had any but any intention of going i just dident want the same story to repeat itself (btw wen i sed that to my ex she stoped txting me and never txted me from that day and its been 1 month from that) so the girl who i was dating got realy mad and told me that she never wanted to see my face again(she had been cheated on in the pass) ect i tryed to explane why i did that and that i dident talk about it because i dident judge that it was important that she knew that my ex was crazy but she dident want to listen so since that day she thinks i cheated on her and she dosent want to talk to me… She already have someone new in her life…

My question is how do i fix this… I love her! Everything was great till that episode! And now i dont know what to do And i know i repeat myself but i never cheated on her and never would have done it! I know how it feals being cheated on and no one deserves that!

EGR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2016

Hi Simon,

so you’re not talking to you ex’s child anymore too? But you still work with her right? Do you plan on getting a new job?

Vinicius Lino

September 16, 2016

I cheated on my girlfriend of 4 years. I kept a secret, as i let a girl develope a realtion with me for 1 year now. I have told her i was stupid, i was a coward, but that i want her back, i would anithing to do só And that i see her as the only person in my life to do anithing her. Including a family. She is the string one, working, studing, voluntering. And i just work. I did anithing And everithing for her, but to respect her in this betrayal matter. She discovered it, And confrontos me with the other girl even. Her words were that She wishes me luck but i needes to grow up ifni ever wanted to be with someones else And that i had to Stay a long time alone so ididnt hurt anyone else. Like i hurt her. This was 3 days ago. Last night She asked what didnt She have that the other one had. I said She was perfect in every aspect ans that i comited a huge mistake And if i could i would go back And never did it. As i was the faulty one. I think that She wont come back, not even after years. Although i cant see myself with anyone else. I said sorry once, why i wanted to be with her. And ahe asked for the keys to the mailbox l. Any of you think that there is any slight chance to get her back again?

Tim

September 8, 2016

My girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. We met in high school. I was 2 years older and I left for college while we were about a year into our relationship. I was many states away and I unfortunately kissed another girl while we were together. We ended up breaking up while I was at college and didn’t get back together for another 2 years.

A year ago I ran into her unexpectedly at a different college we both ended up transferring into. I asked her to go on a date to wit she said yes and we talked before she asked if I still loved her. I replied yes I love you and I told her that I wanted to get back together. She asked if I had ever cheated on her while I was away at college and I lied and told her that I didn’t. We dated for the past year, and curently live together but last night she went through my Facebook 4 years back to findout that I was talking to other girls and that I kissed one while we were dating many years ago.

She broke up with me, it was the worst breakup I have ever experienced. She told me she wished I’d die and burn in hell. She said she wish she never met me she said she hates every fiber of my being. She claimed she would never get back together with me ever no matter what. She deleted all of the photos of us on her phone she told me I was the worst person in the world. She also hit me a few times, which I allowed but I found incredibly unacceptable. Balling, she exclaimed that she thought we were going to get married. She told me that I ruined everything and that she truly despises me. I pleaded and pleaded trying to get through to her that I am a different person than when I was 18. I tried to show her the truth, which is I was completely devoted and faithfull since we got back together. I truly love her and want to marry her. She doesn’t believe a single word I say. She claims that if I had it my way I’d be with other girls from the school i went to while i chested. She claims all of the things I’ve done for her, the list is beyond vast, I would’ve done for any girl. This is so false it is not even funny. On a brighter note, she has seemed to have turned the corner today, being amicable and asking to spend small amounts of time together but I am almost positive she will never forgive me. I find myself wondering how someone could say they love me and make promises to be together forever yet a kiss from 4 years ago can put them to the point of nearly breaking my nose… I’m ashamed that I lied but how can she be so willing to throw everything away over something that happened years ago while she claimed to be the happiest shes ever been on a daily basis prior to snooping through old messages. I guess what I want to know is a) how do I go about with the NC when we share a car and live together B) should I even want her back? She seems to be able to throw away everything without a second thought. C) how should I go about things if I do decide I want her back ASAP.

Ps essentially, I stopped telling her I love her or want to get her back today and she responded by being completely amicable asking if I was hungry and wanted to grab pizza, talking to me etc. She doesn’t seem to hate me today but yesterday she nearly took an eye out with a vicious projectile. I need to know whether or not she has the capacity to forgive me.

Khaleed

September 7, 2016

Greetings

I met up with a woman, Alzia, as friends. I did not cheat, but it did the same damage as cheating. My girl friend broke up with me. Loss of attraction, trust, jealousy, and hurt feelings. I went over 21 days of no talking bcuz Im sure she was upset at me. Yesterday, I talk to her, she was neutral. I invited her for some lunch, but she said she wants to keep a distance. I texted her on what has she been up to and she has not said back. Do I start again, this time, 30 days or do I try again one week or two telling her how i want to rebuild trust and willing to change?

Carla

September 7, 2016

I’m sitting here looking up how to cope with being cheated on, and I stumble across this site. And my dumb ex-boyfriend literally quoted that “no contact” text to me word-for-word. Everything about him was fake and generic, right down to the apology. Hey, Adam! How’s the no contact thing going? Hahah Irrelevant and off topic, maybe. But guys… At least change the text a little bit.

prashu

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 25, 2016

Hi Prashu,

have you read the article I recommended in your first post and are you following the advice here and in that post?

Aaron

September 1, 2016

What if she keeps contacting me after I cheated on her? Not to get back together, just to keep telling me how much I hurt her and how she’s drinking every night because of it. Should I be there for her to vent or should I ignore her for her own good so she can heal because I always seem to make her angrier.

EGR Team Member: Amor

September 2, 2016

Apologize sincerely one time.. and then just let her do that but don’t reply.

prashu

September 6, 2016

i apologized to her one last time two weeks ago. should i contact her or try to talk to her?

Totally IN Love

August 16, 2016

I just wanted to say thank you for this and to inform those that should stumble across it while searching that this does truly work. While I didn’t cheat on my girlfriend, this still helped my situation.

Her and I had a great eight-month relationship before our break-up. She was offered a second job working evenings and as it was a passion of hers, I encouraged her to follow it, even knowing what that meant. The offer finally came to fruition and we were forced to call it quits as we’d never see each other due to our schedules. It was as good and clean a break as I’ve had in my entire life.

I realize looking back there are a lot of things I could’ve done differently. I made the classic mistake of going out and drinking, something I never did in the eight-months her and I were together — why I thought it was going to fix things is beyond me. She was gone. There was no genie at the bottom of any of those bottles. Still, I tried. Three-days after our break-up and here I was on a Saturday night just trying to cover up the hurt rather than just trying to communicate it to someone with a trusting ear that wouldn’t try to take advantage.

After she took the job, she was committed to it for about a week before during her training she started to have concerns that aspects of the job could get her into serious federal troubles. (Not that they were doing anything illegal. It was a legitimate business monitored by the federal government.) That was enough to make her second guess it and she kindly told them she couldn’t get past that fear of messing something up and getting herself into trouble and stepped away.

After a few days more, she decided she’d reach out to me – to see if we could hook back up now that her calendar was open again. By that time, I’d already “moved on”. In other words, I found the first warm bed I could to climb into. It sounds horrible but the girl I was with – it didn’t mean anything. It was just a rebound, someone to fill that hole left.

When I spoke to the ex the first time after our break-up, we spoke for hours. In the back of my mind, I knew I should’ve just came right out and told I’d moved on but now that she was back I’d be willing to end it with the new girl. Instead, I tried to be the nice guy. I tried to spare everyone’s feelings. I thought, “I can fix this without telling her. I’ll just break up with the new girl in the morning.”

When morning came, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. By this time, everything with the ex was back in motion and that was when I decided to do the only thing that I could and sat her down and explained it all to her. While I hadn’t cheated on her, it felt no different to her that I’d moved on so quickly and then accepted her proposal of getting back together while I was with someone else.

I wound up empty handed. So, on the off chance there was something beyond a Yahoo Answers page with the answer to my question, I searched for “How to get my ex back when I cheated on her” and found my way here.

I called the ex, she didn’t pick up but I told her I was completely ashamed of my behavior and even more ashamed that as good as things were with her and I that I couldn’t give her more than a couple of weeks before moving on. I told her I’d give her the time to herself and didn’t see her again until a month later.

By that time, I’d put a complete stop to everything with the new girl. And I hadn’t had a drink or been out with my friends anywhere, let alone to a bar, to put myself into a situation where I’d make the same mistake over.

We’re not back together, the ex and I, but she’s working through it and I’m doing everything that I can outside of begging her to take me to show her that I do love her. More than I would’ve ever realized had she never left. I am in love with her. She’s my top priority. I don’t even let my eyes or my heart wander from her.

If I never get her back fully, or if she does decide she just can’t work through it, that’s fine. I’ll do whatever she’d like. If that’s remaining friends or not speaking to each other again. We both deserve happiness. Mine is with her. Hers is undecided at the moment, but I’m putting hers before mine.

Looking back, I am able to see clearly how much I loved her. I loved her so much that I was willing to let her go so she could do something she’d dreamed of doing for quite some time. In a way, I’m glad it didn’t work out with the job offer. In other ways, I’m saddened that her dream didn’t turn out to be what she wanted after all.

Anyway, that’s my story. I hope anyone reading this has the same luck that I’ve had. Now — if you’ll excuse me, this has been long winded enough and I need to go back to focusing on her.

Thanks to the author. And good luck to all of you out there looking for that chance.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 25, 2016

Hi Totally in love,

thanks for sharing your story! I’m glad you know how to take things slow

Nico

August 10, 2016

I’m going to admit it: I cheated on my girlfriend of 3 years on a drunken one night stand. I confessed to her the next day of my stupid mistake. After a lot of emotions at the time, she asked me to give her space and I gave it to her.

We managed to meet up 3 months later to speak about how stuff had been and it was decent. We both got things off our chest but she wasn’t willing to take me back as she said she still wasn’t ready and had a lot of things going on. I accepted that.

I called her once in an evening and we had a chat for 3 hours on the phone talking about things but I could sense that the sadness on her part was there.

I implemented the no contact rule after and reached out roughly 4 months later by calling her again ( I know – it’s a very long time). When we spoke, we had a much nicer conversation and she told me about all the thing she had accomplished this year and I told her about mine. About 4 days later, I sent her a text which recalled a good memory we both had but she suddenly created an argument that she was offended that I would just call her out and text her out of the blue thinking that it was all normal again.

I left it for a couple days and asked if she could meet me in order to try and sort things out and for me to tell her about all the things I’ve been doing to change, in order to prove to her that I will not cheat again. After 3 weeks, I sent her another kind text but again she started an argument and ultimately said to “stop bothering her and that she would speak to me when she feels like it”. I’ve read that it may be a good thing that your ex is angry as it shows she still cares – I’m not sure about this?

It’s a bit rude but I get the sense that I’m starting to annoy her. I don’t want to push her away but at the same time, I don’t want to wait too long as it’s already been 10 months since the event of the cheating – which to me is a very long time.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 24, 2016

Hi Nico,

how are you now? were you active in updating your social media posts during nc?

prashu

July 27, 2016

I was in relationship with my girlfriend since last 4 years. Our relationship started at the end of my school life. After two months i went to college. Then we were in long distance relationship. I used to meet her in 1-2 months. In my 2nd semester i met a girl in my class and after sometime we became friends. We used to talk on phone and chat. After 1 year in 4th semester i proposed that girl even though i was committed already. I don’t know how i did that. After two months i realised that i am going on a wrong path. I only love my girlfriend and how could i do that to her. I tried to break up with that new girl but she cried and got hurted so much because of me. I am a sensitive guy for every person. So I thought to get back to that new girl and then i will give her a reason in sometime so that she can forget me and break up. i never got physically intimate with the new girl except kissing. But this didn’t happen. I didn’t had the courage to tell my girlfriend that I cheated on her. I stayed quiet. I maintained distance for last two years from that new girl. It was a one sided relationship.

Last month i told the new girl that i am in a relationship already with someone else after she provoked me. That time new girl told me that she will not tell my girlfriend anything about this. But after 15 days she called my girlfriend and told her everything in detail. I know i have done most horrible mistake and it cant be forgiven. But i realise i love only my girlfriend and i want her back. The day my girlfriend knew the truth i tried to apologize so many times. I don’t know how to get her back. Please tell me something i can do. is it true there is no chance of getting her back because everyone is telling me to move on. i met my girlfriend twice and i apologized. first time it was awful. she was very furious. she told me my mistakes that i have done and made things complicated. she returned all my gifts and told me she is ending the relationship forever. next time i met her i made myself clear about why it may have happened. i have realised my mistakes. it was an emotional cheating. i am being honest it was unintentional because i never got physically intimate with the other girl. i am introvert type of guy. that was the problem with me, my nature. i was not able to express myself. i always thought i would not say anything that will hurt her. she also told me to share things with her but i was unable to do it. first year of was relationship was very good. we used to meet in every two months, talked on the phone all night. but that passion lost after sometime. i always used to ask my girlfriend that whether she has any problem and tried to support her in every possible way. but did not get the same in return. at the last of 2nd year i got attracted to the other girl as far as i understand myself. that other girl talked to me in a different way at that time. she always supported me positively. but after two i realised i never loved that other girl it was just an attraction because unintentionally i was seeking emotional satisfaction. it was totally my fault. it happened because of my nature and habits.

Now i have to leave for career coaching to another city. is it really possible to regain her trust? How will i be able to get her back when i am 1000 miles away from her. can you Help me?

EGR Team Member: Amor

prashu

August 5, 2016

Its been two months i have not talked to her. i tried to talked to her but she ignored all my messages. 20 days back i sent her my last message telling her that i accept her decision and after this i will leave her alone for her good. till than i have not contacted her. I have talked to my friends and a therapist, they all advised me to move on and rather than this concentrate on my studies more. if I will try to talk to her i wont be able to get out of this pain and guilt over which i am dwelling since 2 months, apart from i wont be able to study too. So right now i am in worst dilemma what to do, let her go or not. I dont know what to do. most logical thing is to let her go so that i can focus my career more. but i dont have that much courage and strength to let her go. It is getting worse day by day.

prashu

August 5, 2016

everybody is telling me and i have also started thinking that it is nearly impossible to get her back. because i am very much far away from her and reason of breaking up is cheating. so i dont know whether taking a chance with this on the cost of m career is a good idea or not.

prashu

August 5, 2016

she also told my friend that there is no chance of getting back together and tell me to move on and stop contacting her.

NS

July 18, 2016

I never truely had sex with another woman while i dated my ex, but her and i were off and on, when we were on a off time i started talking to another girl, after we got back together it continued for awhile, by awhile i mean not to far into a week, i have a weak character flaw where i don’t like it when people dislike me or hate me so the other girl had said she loved me so i said it back(i never meant it tho) and i meant to delete the messages and i had forgotten too, well she read them little over a week ago, im giving her space but my cousin told her i was whoring around. i’ve been so ashamed and guilty and depressed that i wouldnt even think about talking to another woman let alone sleep with anyone else. i’ve been sick to my stomach and can barely eat without getting sick. i’m giving her time and i will stay true. but what if she doesnt? its happend before.. she dumped me because i wasnt fully in love. she wanted me to hate her. so she slept wiht another guy. it broke me so i slept with another girl to get back at her. im worried she hasnt and wont stay faithful while i will, what if she doesnt? i love her so much that i’d take her back, but should i?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 24, 2016

HI NS,

if that’s how much you both are unsure with each other.. you really need a reset.. First, you need to stop using a rebound to feel good.. You have to improve yourself and build confidence first and not think about the opinion of others.. let her be for now.. and focus on yourself to have a reset.. if she sleeps with others, so be it but if she sees how much you’re improving by yourself and not using other people, she will probably stop sleeping with others and miss you.

Kk

December 31, 2016

If she slept with someone, move on dude, I hate that you did what you did, but if she also loved you she would’ve not done that. Two wrongs doesn’t make it right, accept what you did and move on. It would’ve been different if she did it to you, because a worthy woman would not do that even if you fucked up. She made things so much worse, and you made it worse twice, that’s not how you work things out. Bad bad foundation to start fresh

Leon

July 12, 2016

Hi, It is my understanding that this information isn’t necessarily tailored to an individual, its provided for the majority. However, Im in a circumstance which is different to some. See, i go to university and my Ex and i met there, i had been together with her for a year. the thing is, its currently summer, therefore i am unable to see her as i live a distance from her. the relationship basically ended because i kissed her friend, and she i failed to tell her…of course she found out. I highly regret this mistake, i was unexperienced with how to handle the situation and unfortunately my decision had severe consequences. In general, i am not a needy person, however she always messages me. I can guide the conversations to be very positive however, im not sure if they are beneficial to our mental state. I know she adores her as do i, i just feel like the 21 day no contact rule (to grow distance and unavailability, thus stemming multiple thoughts of uncertainty) is a negative path to take in relation to cheating. I understand fully the self improvement stage, however i feel like this stage for someone who has cheated should be to comfort her attachment in order to secure her thoughts, leading to return back to the trusting road. Why i say its different to most circumstances is because it was a decision which almost had to be made, opposed to one which was self predicated. We had a great relationship, with little faults. She has notified me that she wants me to make more of an effort with her, however im in two ways about what that actually means. She has stated that shes not sure if we’re going to get back together, but she knows we wont during the summer because i am miles away from her and that will effect who she is meaning she doesn’t want to get needy. I’ve recently told her i need some space so i can separate myself from her in such a way that i am able to view her as an individual and not as an item (we’re together). She’s okay with that however she seems pretty upset. My question is, should i continue the no contact rule (even though i feel its effective to our attachment in a possible negative way) or should i go ahead with it, during my circumstance – cant see the full benefits? Leon

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016

Hi Leon,

did she say she wants to stay connected with you to work things out?

Ryan

July 11, 2016

Hi Amor,

Could you explain the reason as to why you don’t respond if the ex tries to communicate with you during the NC period? I fear that ignoring them could potentially be taken in a very bad way by one’s ex, they may feel that means you really don’t care and are fine without them now, which should ultimately provoke them to move on no?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016

hi Ryan,

nc is not a cure for all breakups, it depends on the situation if you should use it

Ben

July 6, 2016

Hi Chris,

I did something I feel is even worse than physically cheating on my beautiful best friend and soulmate: I still talked to my crazy psycho ex because we shared a dog and continued to still talk to her even after he passed away like an idiot. She always made me feel guilty when she was sad she had no one to talk to. A week ago my ex told my gf that I cheated on her our entire relationship, which wasn’t true. I still talked to her, which I will take ownership of doing…she destroyed me. This has been the worst week of my life. Ill spare details but my best friend was gone and I didnt eat, sleep, just drank my sorrows away. Now were at the point where my ex finally admitted she made it up, yet she still wont talk to me or let me sleep in our bed together. I am just stuck and dont know what to do. I will do whatever it takes to make this right. I know she is the one and I know she is my best friend. Please help, what are my next steps to prove to her I love her and she is the only woman for me?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016

HI Ben,

do you want to try what Chris advised above?

Ben

July 8, 2016

We are back in the same house, back I feel so distant with her. I just feel like her roommate. We are not intimate, just distant. Everything is so different and I haven’t slept because I know things aren’t the same. Like I know she is talking to other guys and stuff. Sleeping in different beds, I am just doing everything I can to try to make it right and take baby steps but I feel like I am getting nowhere with her and it’s breaking my heart

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 8, 2016

ok.. are you going to do limited no contact?

Siddiq Manzano

July 5, 2016

Good day Amor, I have one question. If you initiate a 30day NC, and your ex messages you within that let’s say on day 10, do you reply or not? As not replying may be taken as avoiding them, but replying might be showing neediness. Help!!!

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2016

hi Siddiq,

nope, don’t reply.. why did you do nc? how was the breakup?

Siddiq Manzano

July 5, 2016

The breakup was horrible i initially had to sleep on the floor. I initiated it because even after breaking up with me I can tell she didn’t want to… So I thought I’d follow some rules and give her time to miss me and to think about the decisions we both made. I’m fully committed to the program and I’m willing to do what it takes.

Joe

June 30, 2016

Hi there,

I cheated on my (ex)-gf of almost 4 years on a drunken one night stand. I told her the next day an I acted needy and begged right after, initially for the first couple of days. I’m pretty ashamed of the cheating, especially as I have hurt her before (not this way, though) and she’s been cheated on in a previous relationship. Now I guess I’m doing the NC rule, but I’m worried after 30 days if she doesn’t try to contact me…should I still try to contact her? Also, her birthday is coming up in a few weeks, should I try to send her a gift then?

EGR Team Member: Amor

yes, it’s ok to initiate contact after nc. If her bday is within nc you shouldnt

Chris

June 30, 2016

Hi Chris,

I’m contacting you for help, really hope you are able to take a look at this.

I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years and I love her to pieces but over the weekend she saw a text on my phone from a girl I had met at a bar…. There was nothing in it and the messages weren’t suggestive in any way but she was understandably annoyed and upset that I had given my number to a another woman and a stranger at that.

I didn’t cheat on her and never have and the text conversation with the other girl lasted around 5 or 6 texts each over the space of 2 days and I ended I stopped replying when she asked if I would like to meet for a coffee. My gf has seen all of the messages but is obviously extremely upset and feels very let down. She believes that I haven’t cheated but there is some doubt there and she doesn’t understand why I got another girls number and sent these messages.

I can’t explain what I have done, possibly boredom or fleeting excitement but I ended it at the thought of meeting this person again because I do truly love my gf.

So, at this point, she is incredibly upset and I feel lower than I have ever felt before and incredibly shamed and embarrassed. We live together and she wants us to stay together but I appreciate it will take time for things to get back to normal and for her to trust me again. She has also told her parents and friends about this so I have other bridges to re-build.

I Feel so low and I just want her to trust me again and re-commit to our future. Is there any advice you can give me for what I should do?