At its simplest, my basic approach to life could be summed up like
this: find what you like, and stick with it. There are two parts to
this, namely the finding and the sticking. Overall I'm the type of
person who likes to spend more time sticking and less time finding.
That means that, although I like trying out new stuff and
broadening my horizons, I think the biggest long-term benefit of
that exploration is finding stuff that I'll want to come back to
and experience again and again.

I've developed this philosophy gradually, spurred in part by a lot
of reading --- particularly happiness psychology and certain
literary classics --- which in turn induced me to start paying
closer attention to what makes me happy. (Not that I needed much
arm-twisting; I've always been an introspective sort.) Although I'm
sometimes staggered by the amount of bad stuff that happens in the
world, and do my best to chip away at some of it in my own tiny
way, ultimately I believe that you can't go wrong by taking your
own life seriously, paying attention to what you like and don't
like, and trying to bring reality into alignment with your
preferences, insofar as you are able to do so without unduly
imposing on anyone else. (By "seriously" I don't mean "stern frowny
face"; I just mean life is not a joke, it's the real thing.) Robert
Louis Stevenson wrote: "To know what you prefer instead of humbly
saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to
have kept your soul alive." And he was right.

At the same time, building the life you like involves taking
account of costs as well as benefits. I've found that I tend to be
more cost-conscious than many people, in a broad sense. I don't
just mean where money is concerned, but with all sorts of costs.
I'd rather make a modest living doing something I like than make
more money doing something I like less. I'd rather pursue something
as far as I like, and then stop (or take a breather), instead of
pushing it so far and so hard that I lose the enjoyment that
brought me to it in the first place. I'd rather appreciate the
simple but surprisingly powerful little pleasures that life throws
at us every day, instead of straining towards grandiose goals
which, even if achieved, often aren't worth the sacrifices required
to attain them. A beautiful sunset, a good book, a tasty sandwich,
a walk in the woods, a lively conversation, a dime on the copy machine --- these give you (or
me, anyway) the lion's share of the daily dose of happiness, and
they cost very little besides time and attention.

This self-description probably makes me sound terribly boring ---
and some people might call me that. I mean, I wouldn't call
me that, nor would most people I know, but according to what seem
to be mainstream definitions of "boring" vs. "exciting", I prefer
the boring stuff. My main pastimes are reading, playing the piano,
computer programming, analyzing various sorts of data for fun, and
going for walks (or hikes), with interludes of hanging out with
pals shooting the breeze or playing board games or the like. I find
that stuff exciting. I don't have much interest in loud or
high-velocity activities. I mean, geez, look at this profile. It's
written in full sentences with periods and capitalization and
everything. I'm obviously a total square!

That's not to say that I've spent my whole life sorting my socks.
I've got a PhD; I've been on Jeopardy; I've traveled (mostly solo)
through a respectable number of states and countries, and plan to
do more of that in the future; and those are just a few of the
tricks up my sleeve. But my temperament is such that, for me,
happiness nearly always comes in the form of quiet, contemplative
contentment, not frenzied exhilaration.

Now, of course, this is a dating website. The above should
hopefully give you an idea of what sort of fellow I am. As for what
I'm looking for, you should know that the philosophy outlined above
is in full effect. That means I want to find someone I like and
stick with her, and I actually pay attention to what I like and
don't like about people, and I'll consider costs as well as
benefits, and all that sort of stuff. For me the goal is to get to
a point where the relationship is, for both of us, a refuge from
the bad parts of the outside world, as well as a base from which to
explore and savor the good parts together. I'm not interested in
any romance that doesn't at least point in that direction. (I'm
open to meeting friends through this site too, though, so that's
cool.) That means you'd probably better be pretty sweet, because I am too, but my sweetness is of a
synergistic sort that requires a complementary sweetness in order
to reach full flavor.

If you think all of this makes me sound picky, you're right. I'm in
no particular rush, and I'd rather not get involved in something
that's I don't think is going to last for the long haul. I'm
looking for a relationship that will make me happier than I am
right now, which is no simple quest. On the other hand, I don't
hold it against anyone else if they're picky too. In fact, it seems
like just about the only way this can work eventually is if I meet
someone who is so doggone picky that, until she met me, no one else
quite fit the bill.

I work as a math and reading tutor to kids. I'm also beginning to
do some freelance consulting/training in the computer programming
realm. I try to keep a good amount of free time to relax and work
on various side projects.

I finished a PhD in linguistics last year, but decided not to
pursue a career in academia. Right now I'm in a somewhat
experimental period, taking a stab at making a living just from my
tutoring/programming work, deliberately avoiding getting a
full-time job for now. Beyond a certain fairly low threshold, money
is less important to me than time and autonomy, so I've made a
conscious choice to experiment with giving up money for time and
autonomy and seeing how it works out. So far it's working out okay.

I have a very good memory. I've become pretty good at forming and
keeping certain kinds of habits, which I find an intriguing
phenomenon, although some of these are habits that other people
would be baffled by. (One of my habits, for instance, is writing
down my dreams each morning. I now have over 100 journals full of
over 10 years worth of dreams.) I'm also good at solving problems
logically (not just in the sense of doing brainteasers, but in the
sense of applying a logical approach to solve practical
problems).

There's a good bit of other stuff I'm good at, but we won't go into
all that now. I'll just mention that I'm good at living frugally
without scrimping or denying myself much. I just have limited ---
and cheap --- needs. (It's amazing how much money you don't spend
when you don't like coffee or alcohol.)

Novels: Moby-Dick, The Wings of a Falcon, The Great Gatsby,
Dictionary of the Khazars, In Search of Lost Time, and The 1001
Nights. Nonfiction: mostly psychology (e.g., Stumbling on
Happiness, Gut Feelings, stuff by William James) and philosophy
(e.g., Plato, some Daniel Dennett, and more stuff by William
James). Short stories: the end of the beltline and The Mansion on
the Hill. Comics: Poor Sailor. Oh, and Hamster Huey and the Gooey
Kablooie.

I recently finished reading "My Struggle" (Volume 1) by Karl Ove
Knausgaard and I'm currently reading the short stories of Lu
Xun.

I also read the Los Angeles Times every day (on old-fashioned
physical paper). And lots of Wikipedia articles.

Movies: the Bill & Ted movies, Fight Club, The Princess Bride,
Rushmore, 12 Monkeys, Star Wars, State and Main, Sweet and Lowdown,
and perhaps most of all Lone Star.

TV: I don't have a TV, don't watch TV, and am not generally
interested in watching TV.

Music: Despite being musically inclined, I rarely listen to music.
When I do listen to music,I like classical (predominantly
Beethoven), classic rock, modern pop/rock (e.g., The Smashing
Pumpkins, The Arcade Fire), Irish traditional music, spacey guitar
soundscapes (e.g., Explosions in the Sky), and various other stuff.
I also like to listen to super-old recordings from the Cylinder
Preservation and Digitization project now and then, because
they give me a delicious feeling of nostalgic peace. (Check out the
cymbalom ones.)

Food: I tend to care more about what's in the food than what "kind"
of food it is. I'm a meat and dough kind of guy. If it's meat with spices,
I'll probably like it. I like baked goods, especially things made
with oats. I drink a large amount of whole milk

There are some pretty common foods that I don't eat because I just
don't like them. I don't like eggs, cheese, coffee, wine, or beer;
this astonishes many people.

I feel in this section I should include a disclaimer about my
near-total disconnection from "pop culture". I don't have a TV, I
don't have Netflix, I don't have an iPod. This doesn't mean I'm a
luddite, because I spend tons of time on the computer. I do
occasionally listen to music or go to a movie, and when I do I
enjoy it, but I'm just not the kind of person who likes to have a
constant stream of audiovisual entertainment feeds. Most of what
passes for entertainment in my life comes from reading or from
physically going to places.

Friday nights are not that different from other nights. I often go
for a walk after work, watch the sunset, stop by the bookstore,
etc. Sometimes I go with friends to dinner or a party or just hang
out. Other times I work on my own projects or play multiple
simultaneous games of Scrabble on Facebook.