A Russian man saves his rubles for twenty years to buy a new car. After choosing the model and options he wants, he's not the least bit surprised or even concerned to learn that it will take two years for the new car to be delivered. He thanks the salesman and starts to leave, but as he reaches the door he pauses and turns back to the salesman "Do you know which week two years from now the new car will arrive?" he asks.

One day, a guy was on his way home from work when the most remarkable thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as he sat there at a red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into his windshield. If that wasn't strange enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the windshield wiper.

Just then the light turned green and there the guy was with a bird stuck on his windshield. Without any other apparent options, he turned on the windshield wipers to try to get rid of the bird. It actually worked.

Mr. Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy housecleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're shorthanded, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."