Kel On The Road

In a slight departure from my typical kind of post, I'd like to share a story about my first experience riding a plane.

It was a grueling 12-hour flight into Seoul from San Francisco and 6-year-old me had no idea what to do to alleviate the pressure forming in my ears as the plane gained altitude. So I scratched and picked at them until they turned bright red. My grandmother and the flight attendants advised me many times to swallow my saliva but it wasn't working. And when I continued to complain of the pain, they eventually just started ignoring me. In the end, I recall sitting in my seat quietly crying until the pressure subsided on its own an eternity later. No thanks to the adults!

Various annoyances abounded on the flight. Kids gave out piercing screams from rows both ahead and behind me. There was ALWAYS a long line for the bathroom.

But despite the fact that I was starting to hate everything on this plane, my initial excitement over flying remained intact. After all, it was a grand adventure to travel across the Pacific Ocean, even if I did have to share the experience with a bunch of rowdy, bathroom-hogging Korean families.

As the night drew on, I saw passenger lights turn off one-by-one and window shutters slide down. At one point deep into the evening, I was absolutely certain I was the only passenger left who was still awake with their window shutter open.

I watched the sky outside all night long in fascination and witnessed dawn rise up from my vantage point above the clouds. And I kept gazing as those clouds changed slowly from purple to ruddy orange.

Then, out of nowhere, there they were! Three golden lakes in the sky. Breaks in the clouds illuminating the light of the rising sun like mirrors. But how did they glow so brightly? Could it be they were in fact really made of water? That they were truly as they appeared - floating lakes in the sky?

In any case, I was convinced I was the only one awake to witness this phenomenon. And it was just as well that the adults slept through it. Adults were a curious enigma to me, walking through life begrudgingly as if all that kept them from death was the worry of fulfilling their obligations to other people. They only ever complained about work and money and in that there was no end. Had one been awake at this very moment, they likely would have been blind to the natural majesty in front of them.

The plane moved onward and we passed two of the three lakes slowly. Then, at the third lake, I felt the plane begin to descend. We were still hours away from the destination and there was no reason to drop altitude. But the pilot did it anyway and submerged the plane into the third lake, diving in as if we were crossing a gateway into another universe.

I was hysterical. Where are we going? What will we see on the other side?

Who knew what we'd find below the surface of that golden sky lake. We could have landed in Narnia at that point and I wouldn't have been the least bit shocked. And there, I'd be greeted by a fawn who'd send me on a quest to save a princess or something.

But my overactive imagination wasn't rewarded that day. We uneventfully landed in Seoul the next morning around 9.

Now every time I fly long distances, I think about those sky lakes and whether I'll ever see that phenomenon again. But it's probably too late. For one, I don't actually think it's physically possible for empty sky to reflect sunlight like that. And I'm fairly certain my current memory of that night is nowhere near the reality of physics. And this kind of thinking is precisely the reason why my younger self had no faith us adults possess the capability to see the fantastical in the real - to see the story hidden inside every object around us. We really do go a little blind when we cross that gateway from childhood into our adult form. The world seems to be so much smaller, not because it is, just because we believe it to be.

2015 is coming to a close and here I am still in Japan. It's been over a year now since I last saw my friends and family in the US and I've been spending a lot of time lately asking myself what makes a place feel like home. I don't know the answer to this question, by the way, in case you were thinking I'd be expressing that here.

Is it possible to fall in love with a place you hate? I feel that's the only way to describe how I feel about Tokyo. Because it's been a hard time these past few months trying to turn Tokyo into that resting place to put up my tired feet. But it just hasn't worked. I'm not sure yet what the next year will bring but it will likely involve moving again. To someplace.

I've come to realize just how much of a struggle it is for a foreigner to settle down and build a long-term life in Tokyo. To be honest, this isn't the most foreigner-friendly country to move into and I've relied heavily on other people's kindness as I went through my own ups and downs in the past month. Many things are still unresolved but I guess it's about time I give an update to what's been happening so far.

One month in Japan - part touring around the country, part trying to make it my home. I'm taking a quick break in Bangkok at the moment but will return to Tokyo shortly.

Yup, this is going to be another installment in my ongoing series, Disgusting Bug Bites from Around the World. This time coming out of Bangkok. But first, I had such a beautiful day of sightseeing, I thought I'd share a few photos from the outing.

The flower market of Bangkok

Giant Reclining Buddha statue. Such cute little toes!

The many pagodas of Wat Pho

Tour review post:

Being both a budget traveler and someone who abhors committing to structured itineraries, I tend to avoid organized tours wherever I go. But I do love to take advantage of a good food tour on offer, especially in a city like Bangkok.

Alas, it appears my Indian visa came with one of those wretched expiration dates. I've now come up to my very last day in this country and it's with a teeny bit of sadness that I prepare for my flight from Mumbai to Bangkok tomorrow morning.

Alright, let's face it. We Asian travelers have a branding problem. To our own detriment, we've succeeded in gaining a reputation as camera-touting, mass-market tourists who do little to learn the customs and language of the places we land in. To illustrate, let me refer to one conversation, more memorable than most, which I had with one Caucasian traveler.

He was recounting his various escapades from around the world and brought up the Camino de Santiago, a famous pilgrimage trek in Spain. I had never heard of this trek before and was intrigued already.

"But don't bother going there," he said. "The Koreans found out about this place a few years ago and it's not worth it anymore."

You could say it was a bit awkward for me to hear this seeing as how I am a Korean-American. Still, I knew what he meant. Another otherwise pristine travel destination had been spoiled by the onset of Asian tourists like a swarm of locusts on a crop. It's sad but this is the perception I have to contend with when on the road.

One of the uglier aspects of travel for any minority is that you'll face racism in brand new forms you may not be familiar with from your home country. Call it another way to learn about the local culture. And expect to be treated differently in each place you visit as the social ranking your ethnicity affords you moves up or down. To be frank, it's a problem Caucasians are often exempt from facing, as the world seems to have unanimously voted them the coolest kind of traveler to be. Congratulations to them.

So if you're an Asian traveler, here are my tips for dealing with discrimination abroad.

1. Absolutely do not take it personally

It's so easy for us to blame ourselves when an interaction with a local or fellow traveler doesn't go well. Maybe we said something offensive. Maybe we came off as too boring or pushy or bitchy. The cycle of self-doubt is endless.

But if you find yourself here, turn down the volume on that noise in your head. Reflect on the possibility there were factors at play that have nothing to do with your personality. Not everyone you'll meet will have had the privilege to grow up in a cosmopolitan and ethnically diverse environment and their actions will speak to that reality.

2. Let the small stuff go

Get used to hearing quotes like the following:

- Touts calling out both "Nihao" and "Konichiwa" as you walk down the street like a construction worker looking for the right catcall to make you turn your head.

- "I think you look like Chinese. No? Japanese! No? Okay, Korean!"

- If you're an Asian-American and choose to tell people you're from the US like I do, getting a lot of incredulous looks accompanied by a line like "But your face look like China".

I know these little microaggressions tend to accumulate and fester like a bunch of parasites lodged right under the top layer of your skin. And it gets to a point where you just want to punch the next guy to tell you Nihao in the mouth.

But my advice is to let it go. People usually say these things because they're curious and want to know more about you. And one way for them to do that is to place you within the context of your heritage.

Look beyond their poor choice of icebreaker and move onto a more productive conversation. Do enlighten them by giving your ethnic history and making it clear China and Asia are not synonyms. But try to do it without that condescending tone I know you have sitting under your tongue.

3. Stand your ground on the big stuff

Sadly, I have heard some touts will go as low as targeting Asians specifically because they perceive Asians tend not to protest as much when cheated. In that same vein, I've heard some men target Asian women for sexual harassment.

If you see trouble coming, use your head and stand firm to protect yourself. It's always tough deciding when to make this call. But just remember, you'd much rather come off as rude early on than have to deal with the fallout from being preyed on.

4. Be more open-minded

The best advice I can give to avoid discrimination altogether is to be more open-minded everywhere you go. Be present, engaged, and genuinely interested in hearing other peoples' stories. Most of all, eat crazy food and smile often. Nothing can melt away the racial stereotypes of ignorant minds better than a bright personality.

5. If all else fails, just leave and come back later

I included this piece of advice because it happened to me once with surprising success.

If the relationship between you and the country you're in is going the way of a bad breakup, just go ahead and leave. See other places and come back in several years. You'll have matured as a traveler with a new set of eyes to see the world. And the people of that country should have slowly dragged themselves out of their own intolerance to some extent. With globalization, they pretty much have to. So if you can give it another try, you may do more than just salvage your impression of the country in that second visit.

I hope these tips are useful. As for the Camino de Santiago, my interest in this trek has not abated. It's in fact true the trail saw an influx of Asians beginning in 2007 due to factors such as the publication of a popular book from one Korean pilgrim. Beginning that year, not only did the demographics of the pilgrim population change, but overcrowded housing establishments along the trail suddenly became a big problem to contend with.

One day I'll walk this trail and and make the judgement for myself how much I like it. I guess I should thank that traveler for introducing me to the idea.

Salvation at last for Alex! The consulate website was updated this afternoon with the news that his visa renewal application is finally approved. He's now jumping for joy in a state of complete hysteria and has already started researching the earliest possible flights to get the hell out of India. He'll probably find himself back in the US sometime next week. I guess it was fun while it lasted (referring to myself here, not to Alex).

At the very least, we did have a very special time last weekend, the memories of which I'm sure Alex will carry with him the way a soldier will take home their PTSD.

A typical first day in India for the average foreigner will probably feel a lot like a punch in the face. If you're coming from the airport, your first lasting impression may come from the taxi ride to your accommodation. Your seemingly mad driver will dance his way around four each of other cars, bikes, trucks, and buffalo carts as if lanes don't exist. Because in India, they really don't exist. Yes, those are lane dividers you see painted on the street but they're about as visible to an Indian driver as air.