One might assume that to be a legendary bowler, one must practice frequently to truly hone their craft. NOPE. Repeatedly using all your energy to throw a bowling ball down a greased lane so it crashes into a pyramid of vertical pins would be considered a huge waste of your time, even for serious bowlers. The trick to becoming a stellar bowler has less to do with athleticism and more to do with your facial hair. If you don't believe us, just slap on this adhesive bowler goatee and pick up a bowling ball. You WILL possess the power!

You'll rack up strike after strike when you're sporting the faux facial hair, complemented by our officially licensed coordinating purple jumpsuit. In fact, we urge you to wear the full get-up, head to your local alley, and then make a few bets with a group of rival bowlers. You WILL be pleasantly surprised to see that you have the skill to back it up!