Moms play a key role in strengthening daughters’ self-esteem, says 21-year-old Katherine Schwarzenegger, author of a new book on body image. In this Lifescript exclusive, she shares lessons from her famous parents about how to raise strong, confident girls…

Between media images of airbrushed women and peer pressure to fit in,it’s easy for girls’ self-image to take a beating.

But Katherine Schwarzenegger, 21, daughter of former California governor Arnold and journalist wife Maria Shriver, wants to help them fight back.

In this exclusive interview, she talks about growing up in the public eye, the pressures girls face to be perfect and the importance of staying true to yourself.

What inspired you to write a book about body image?Seeing young girls trying to be thin and perfect all the time really frustrated me.

After I left high school and reflected on my experiences, I realized how much time I had wasted trying to make my body be something it wasn’t.

How does peer pressure affect girls’ self-esteem?It’s a huge issue, particularly for young girls.

Often, older girls know when it’s happening. If I’m at a party and don’t want to drink but someone says, “Oh, c’mon, we’re all drinking – just have one,” I can recognize that it’s peer pressure.

But for girls in elementary and middle school, it can be more subtle.

When you were that age, were you affected by peer pressure?In seventh grade, I had a friend who was concerned about being attractive. She told me boys liked skinny girls whose hip bones popped out. I was young and naïve, so I believed her.

[Being thin] became a competition between us. But she never said, “You have to do this or I won’t be friends with you.”

How did that make you feel?For me, it was just for the fun of competing. I wasn’t anorexic and never had an eating disorder.

But it obviously wasn’t the best idea.

You were inspired to write your book while doing a public relations internship at the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem, a confidence-building campaign for women. What did you learn there?They found that more than 70% of teenage girls don’t participate in day-to-day activities when they feel badly about their looks. That means not going to school, hanging out with friends or doing sports.

It’s sad that girls are stopping themselves from living their lives because they’re unhappy about their appearance.

Your book includes a lot of scary statistics, such as that 3- to 5-year-olds worry about being fat. What surprised you in your research?By far the most shocking was that only 2% of women consider themselves beautiful. Every woman should.

When I read that statistic, I knew that what I’m doing is definitely necessary.

Having grown up in a high-profile family, you know the pressure placed on women to look their best. Do you think the media is making it harder for girls today?Technology is definitely more powerful, allowing us to digitally alter how people look in photos in a very detailed way.

So it’s important for young girls to know that images on magazine covers aren’t real. And that movie stars don’t walk around the house looking like movie stars!

It’s unhealthy to compare yourself to celebrities and feel you have to look like an airbrushed photo all the time.

What would you like girls and mothers to know after reading your book? That beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

It’s important to be who you are. Don’t try to conform to images in the media, believing you have to look a certain way to fit into society.

Be yourself – be unique. And really embrace whoever that is.

What was your relationship like with your mother when you were a teenager?I was so lucky to have an amazing relationship with her in high school – and today.

She was and still is a working mom. She’s an insane multi-tasker. She would work all day and then spend time with us kids when we came home from school.

Were there any rough patches?When I was in high school, we did fight. I was like every normal girl, frustrated when she wouldn’t let me go to an after-party or stay out late.

My parents were very strict. I was the only girl I knew who had rules in high school.

Your mother has become a role model for many women and girls, because of her best-selling books, award-winning journalism and efforts to raise awareness about women’s health issues. What advice has she given you through the years?She always told me to be myself and stay true to who I am.

But the most important thing she taught me is to work hard to accomplish your goals. And if you fail, it’s important to keep trying and never let anybody tell you that you can’t do something.

Not every girl has such a good mother-daughter relationship. What advice can you give to girls whose moms aren’t such positive role models?Seek out another woman in your life – a teacher, aunt, sister or friend.

I definitely recommend that young girls find someone they admire and can talk to about anything.

As a girl, you need to be able to talk with another woman about what’s going on in your life. It really comes down to making the choice to open up to someone.

Your father started his career by competing, and winning, several bodybuilding competitions. What advice did he give you to help your self-image?My dad always told me to look at a glass half-full, rather than half-empty.

As women, we’re so critical of ourselves. But my dad always talks about the importance of building yourself up rather than tearing yourself down.

I’d like to ask about your grandfather, Sargent Shriver, who had a long career in public service and civic leadership. He now suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. How has his illness affected your family? It has been a learning experience for us all. And since there’s no cure for Alzheimer’s, it has been hard to deal with.

You have to watch a loved one disintegrate in front of your eyes. One minute my grandfather knows who you are, the next minute he doesn’t even know who he is.

Alzheimer’s affects so many people. If we don’t find a cure for it, it will bankrupt America.

What lessons have you learned watching him battle this debilitating disease?My family, including my cousins, uncles and aunts, all take care of him and are there for him. We talk to him and have fun with him, but it’s definitely hard.

You get closer to your family when you see a loved one suffer like that. You see the power of family and love.

I’ve learned a huge amount about how short and precious life is. It’s important to tell your family – every single day – that you love them, while you have the ability to.

Journalist/essayist Samantha Dunn is the author of the memoirs Not By Accident: Reconstructing a Careless Life and Faith in Carlos Gomez: A Memoir of Salsa, Sex and Salvation. Her novel Failing Paris was a finalist for the PEN West Fiction Award.

Body Image: Do You Need a Boost?Many women - young and old - struggle with body image, a key part of enjoying sex. While weight worries may tempt you to dim the lights, dissatisfaction with your body shouldn't distract you from having a great time in bed. It's about what your body can do, not just how it looks. Take our body image quiz to learn if yours could use a boost.

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