December 20, 2012

Over
the centuries Christmas has inspired countless songs. Which of the many pieces
of vocal music written for Christmas qualify as true Christmas carols? Most
writers assume Christmas carols to be those songs about Christmas whose tune
and lyrics are widely known and whose popularity is maintained primarily
through folk traditions rather than commercial promotions. By this definition,
the fine Christmas works written by classical composers are not true Christmas carols,
since they are musically quite complex and known to relatively small numbers of
people. The fact that people sing carols for enjoyment and entertainment also
figures in their definition.

This
criterion might exclude a number of lesser-known church hymns, since people
usually sing them only during church services. In addition, most carols take as
their subject matter the legends, customs, or religious celebration of
Christmas. Therefore, some people would not include popular songs such as “I
Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” or even the hit song “White Christmas” in a
collection of carols, since these songs achieved popularity through commercial mechanisms
and do not address traditional Christmas themes or religious celebration.
Others might quarrel with these criteria, arguing that the subject matter of
these songs and the manner in which they achieved popularity simply reflect the
commercial interests and cultural outlook of the twentieth century.

Why
are these traditional Christmas songs called “carols,” anyway? Some scholars
trace the English word “carol” all the way back to the ancient Greek word
coros. In ancient Greek drama the coros, or “chorus,” appeared from time to
time during the play singing commentaries on the plot and often dancing as
well. By the late Middle Ages,
the word “carol” had come to mean singing and dancing in a circle, as children
do when singing “Ring Around the Rosy.” In the Middle Ages people caroled on
many different occasions. By the sixteenth century, however, this musical genre
had acquired a special association with the Christmas season, while its earlier
association with dance was fading away. Already a large number of Christmas carols
circulated throughout Europe. A number of these, such as the English “I Saw
Three Ships” and the German “Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming,” are still sung
today.

As
Christmas approaches, many American workers look forward to receiving a
Christmas bonus, usually a lump sum of money added to their December paycheck.
This Christmas gift from employer to employee may have been inspired by English
Boxing Day customs.

Although
the Christmas bonus began as a voluntary gift, it evolved into an expected
increase in one’s December salary. By the late nineteenth century many American
employers had adopted the custom of distributing Christmas bonuses among their
workers. These personalized exchanges often takes place at office Christmas parties,
another new, late nineteenth-century custom. The boss himself usually presented
each worker with their presents or money.

Often
the employer tied the gift to the employee’s performance during the year. Christmas
bonuses became increasingly common throughout the last decades of the
nineteenth century, but between 1900 and 1920, these kinds of personalized
exchanges all but disappeared. Labor unions, which grew in numbers and in
influence during this period, began to bring the issue of the Christmas bonus
to the bargaining table. Unionists argued that workers depended on these
bonuses and needed to know in advance approximately how much they would
receive. They objected to the nineteenth-century practice whereby the bonuses
were distributed according to the whims of managers and bosses. As the
twentieth century rolled on, their arguments prevailed. Christmas bonuses were
increasingly calculated according to agreed-upon formulas. These formulas often
took into account such things as salary level and years of service.

In
recent years the number of companies giving Christmas bonuses has declined.
Some firms have switched to year-round incentive programs that reward effective
employees. Others provide employees with a lavish Christmas party or a day off
in lieu of a bonus. According to the Bureau of National Affairs in Washington,
D.C., about nine percent of companies with 1,000 or more workers distributed Christmas
bonuses in 1999. Workers in small companies were luckier, with about 25 percent
of their employers offering modest cash bonuses at Christmas time.

Christmas
dinner provides a very special occasion for families and friends to visit.
Brazilians eat Christmas dinner late in the evening on Christmas Eve. The meal
often features roast turkey with farofa stuffing, which is made out of toasted
manioc flour, onions, garlic, turkey livers and gizzards, olives, hard-boiled
eggs, and bacon.

Other
popular Christmas dishes include dried cod, an assortment of fruit, and a
dessert called rabanada, which resembles French toast. Champagne, wine, and
fruit punch often accompany the meal. Most families dine around 10 or 11 p.m. Afterwards,
many attend the Missa do Galo, or Midnight Mass. These services may be held in
Roman Catholic churches or on outdoor stages set up for the occasion. In recent
years some people have begun to stay home to watch the television broadcast of
the pope’s celebration of Midnight Mass in Rome.

Most
Amish schools prepare Christmas pageants. Since Amish children attend school
right up till Christmas Day, the pageant is generally set for the afternoon of
December 24. Parents and other relatives attend and watch with pride as their
young people recite poems and take part in skits—many of which contain moral
teachings about Christmas charity, faith, and love—and sing Christmas carols.

Earlier
that day the children may have taken part in a gift exchange in which each
child, having drawn a slip of paper with another child’s name on it, brings a
present for that boy or girl. For most Amish, Christmas morning begins with
farm chores. Afterwards the family gathers for breakfast and Christmas gifts in
the kitchen. In nineteenth-century Amish families, parents set out plates on
the kitchen table and piled their children’s presents on top. They usually gave
their children things like nuts, raisins, cookies, candy, and rag dolls and
other homemade toys. Other Pennsylvania Dutch families also set out Christmas
plates in past times. The custom of setting out Christmas presents on the
kitchen table seems to have died out among other groups, however. Today Amish
families exchange a few useful gifts on Christmas morning. Typical gifts
include simple toys such as skates and sleds, books, homemade candies and cookies,
kitchenware, and household items. A large Christmas dinner completes the day’s
activities.

On
December 26 the Amish celebrate “second Christmas.” This custom, once common in
Pennsylvania Dutch country, came into being so that those who devoted much of
December 25 to religious observance did not miss out on all the Christmas fun.
It’s a popular day for family outings, visits, games, and other leisure activities.

December 19, 2012

Christianity
gradually made its way across Europe, bringing Christmas with it. The holiday
came to England, for example, via St. Christianity gradually made its way
across Europe, bringing Christmas with it. The holiday came to England, for
example, via St. Augustine, the first Archbishop of Canterbury, who reportedly
baptized more than 10,000 English people on December 25, 598. Acting under the
direction of Pope Gregory I, Augustine was also instrumental in bringing the
celebration of Christmas to the area.

At
the end of the sixth century, the pope instructed Augustine to make over the
midwinter Yule festival into Christmas observances, emphasizing the importance
of condoning any customs from the festival that could be found to contain
Christian significance.
It was a well-tested strategy, and it worked.

In
ninth-century England, Alfred the Great declared that the twelve days between
Christmas and Epiphany should be reserved for seasonal festivities, thus
formalizing observation of the twelve days of Christmas in England. Alfred was
serious about celebrating: As part of his declaration, he made working during
this period illegal. He followed his own rules, even at great cost. In 878, he
refused to go to war during the twelve days of Christmas. His failure to do so
is said to have caused England to lose
the Battle of Chippenham to the Danes.

Christmas
arrived in Germany in 813, via the Synod of Mainz, and was brought to Norway in
the mid-900s by King Hakon the Good. By the end of the ninth century, Christmas
was observed all over Europe with trees, lights, gifts, and feasts. The items
that had held significance for the old religions were either tossed aside or
altered to fit within a Christian context. Over the centuries, the
holiday was increasingly reformed to contain fewer of the old pagan elements.

There
are some who believe that King Arthur celebrated the First English Christmas in
521 with his Knights of the Round Table, without the input of either Augustine
or Gregory. Given the legends surrounding King Arthur, however, this remains
the territory of myth, rather than fact.

Although
his roots reach back into antiquity, the man we know as Santa Claus has been refined and
popularized largely through the media of the nineteenth and twentieth
centuries. In fact, two written accounts—Clement C. Moore’s 1822 poem, “A Visit
from St. Nicholas” and the New York Sun’s famous response to young Virginia
O’Hanlon’s 1897 query about him - probably did the most to establish Santa as a
figure in the popular imagination.

But,
even though his most memorable features are relatively recent, Santa Claus evolved
from many sources over many years—most notably from the life and deeds
associated with St. Nicholas, an early Christian bishop in the land of Asia
Minor, in what is now western Turkey.

These
days, the Vatican has its doubts about St. Nicholas. A special report penned in
1969 by senior Church officials concluded that many of the recorded deeds of
some of the early saints—including the forerunner of Santa—may well be those of
legendary heroes rather than historical personages.

The
records of Nicholas’s life certainly appear to be a mixture of fact and
fantastic myth, but there is no denying the impact that this revered figure had on the development of the
Santa Claus tradition. As a saint, he remains immensely popular in Europe,
where there are more churches named for him than for any apostle.

1.
Find a favorite Christmas story and make it a tradition to read it aloud on
Christmas Eve.

2.
Share your good fortune with others at Christmas by volunteering as a family
for a charity or non-profit organization that’s close to your hearts.

3.
Decorate your home each year with a special item that you’ve chosen or made as
a family.

4.
Choose your favorite holiday baking recipes and share an afternoon with friends
and family baking up a storm.

5.
Create a calendar with a different family photo each month to send to family
and friends who can’t be with you during the year.

6.
Plan an annual family activity for the Christmas season: It could be picking
out the tree, tobogganing down a nearby hill, even heading to the local
zoo—anything that captures the whole family’s interest.

7.
Light the candles of an Advent wreath in succession every Sunday during
December, talking about their symbolic meanings, such as love, hope, peace, and
joy.

8.
Buy or make a special tree ornament each year for the children in your family,
and present them with the whole set when they have their own tree for the first
time.

9.
Turn letters to Santa into an event, with hot chocolate, cookies, and plenty of
colorful pens and stickers to help with the letter writing.

10.
Make writing thank-you letters for gifts a much-loved tradition, too, with
yummy treats and a fun reward when the letters are finished.

On
Epiphany Eve children in Italy go to bed expecting La Befana to visit the house
during the night. She leaves gifts for children who have been good during the
past year and warns those who have misbehaved. The name “Befana” comes from the
Italian word for Epiphany, Epiphania. La Befana may also be referred to as La
Strega, meaning “the witch,” or La Vecchia, meaning “the old woman.”

Although
not much is known about the history of this figure from Italian legend, some
authorities believe that La Befana may be related to Berchta, another
witch-like figure who visits homes in central and northern Europe during the
Twelve Days of Christmas and, especially, on Twelfth Night. La Befana also
appears to be related to Baboushka, a Russian folk figure about whom a nearly
identical tale is told.

A
number of different Advent customs require the lighting of candles. Some
writers believe that the use of candles during Advent may have been adopted
from the fires and lights that illuminated pre-Christian midwinter festivals.
Before the widespread use of electric lighting, the twinkling candles not only
served to dispel the gloom of the long winter nights, but also represented the
hope of light and life to come. In Christian terms, the flame of the Advent
candle represents the coming of Jesus, “the light of the world” (John 8:12).

Placing
a lighted candle in the windowsill is perhaps the simplest Advent candle
custom. In Europe during centuries past, a flickering candle in the window
symbolized the offer of hospitality to nighttime wayfarers. Some believed the
glowing light might even attract the Christ child. The Irish brought with them
the tradition of placing a lighted candle in the windowsill at Christmas time
when they emigrated to the United States. In the late nineteenth century groups
of carolers popularized the custom in Boston. From there the practice spread to
other American cities. The citizens of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, keep candles in
their windows at Christmas time, though they trace their tradition back to the town’s
Moravian founders. Christmas time candles also twinkle in the windows of
historic Williamsburg, Virginia. The custom there developed as a means of
decorating historic district homes in a manner consistent with the town’s
colonial architecture and décor.

In
the American Southwest people decorate the exteriors of their homes with
luminarias, candles placed in brown paper bags filled with sand. This custom
originated in Mexico. Many churches hold special candle-lighting services
sometime during Advent. Often, each person attending is given a candle. The
lighting of these candles then becomes part of the service.

Advent wreaths may be found in both home and church Advent observances. These wreaths contain four candles, one for each of the four Sundays of Advent. One is lit on the first Sunday of Advent. One more candle is lit on each of the following Sundays until on the fourth Sunday of Advent all four candles burn in unison. These four Advent candles may also be used without a wreath.

The
word “Advent” comes from the Latin word adventus, which means “coming” or
“arrival.” The Advent season serves as a period of spiritual preparation for
the coming of Christmas. Advent calls Christians to reflect on both the birth
of Jesus and on the Second Coming of Christ. In Western Christianity Advent
begins on the Sunday closest to November 30, St. Andrew’s Day, and lasts till
December 24, thereby extending over a period of 22 to 28 days. In the Orthodox
Church Advent begins on November 15.

The
Roman Catholic, Orthodox, Anglican, and Lutheran traditions view Advent as the
beginning of the Church year. The liturgical color for Advent is purple,
reflecting the repentant mood characteristic of early Church Advent
observances. By contrast, many popular customs associated with this period
joyfully anticipate the coming of Christmas.

Cognitive behavioral
therapy is a school of psychotherapy that aims to help people overcome their
emotional problems.

Cognitive means
mental processes like thinking. The word ‘cognitive’ refers to everything that
goes on in your mind including dreams, memories, images, thoughts, and
attention.

Behavior refers to
everything that you do. This includes what you say, how you try to solve
problems, how you act, and avoidance. Behavior refers to both action and
inaction, for example biting your tongue instead of speaking your mind is still
a behavior even though you are trying not to do something.

Therapy is a word
used to describe a systematic approach to combating a problem, illness, or
irregular condition. A central concept in CBT is that you feel the way you
think. Therefore, CBT works on the principle that you can live more happily and
productively if you’re thinking in healthy ways. This principle is a very
simple way of summing up CBT.

If
your child wakes up with throbbing legs, you may wonder if you should take him
to the doctor. The best thing is to reassure him and explain what’s happening –
the skeleton’s being formed.

These
growing pains are completely normal. The most likely causes are aches and
discomfort caused by physical activity during the day. The pains are
concentrated in the muscles rather than the joints. Growth spurts are linked to
sexual development, so
puberty brings pubic and underarm hair, fully developed sexual organs, and
periods for girls.

Because
your child’s limbs grow at different rates, he may sometimes feel clumsy, weak,
and uncoordinated. This is because his nervous system is trying to adjust to
the rapid period of growth. His ligaments and tendons get tighter and he may
get pains in his knees during exercise. Therefore, teach you child the
importance of stretching properly before and after exercise. Check how your
child responds to touch when he’s in pain.

Children
with serious medical conditions may not like to be touched, as touch intensifies
the pain. But a child with growing pains feels better when he’s massaged, touched,
and held.

The
following may help your child with growing pains:

·Offer
him lots of cuddles and reassurance

·Massage
the painful area

·Manually
stretch your child’s legs

·Put
a heated pad on the painful area

·Paracetamol
or ibuprofen in the appropriate dose for his age may help

December 18, 2012

Foods
can make you feel sick for a variety of reasons, most of which have nothing to
do with food allergies. This leaves the door open to ‘’quackologists’’ selling
all sorts of ineffective cures and treatments for a host of ailments that they
falsely attribute to food allergies. To avoid getting sucked in by
misinformation, be aware that the following ailments are rarely, if ever,
related to food allergies:

·Food
intolerances: The inability to digest a particular food, such as milk or wheat,
is typically related to a missing enzyme in the digestive system that prevents
a person from fully digesting the food.

·Food
poisoning: Some foods may have toxins or bacteria that make you sick. Just
because a food makes you sick one time does not mean you’re allergic to it,
although you should have your doctor check it out.

·Histamine
poisoning: When you have an allergic reaction, your body releases histamine
into your system, which causes most of the symptoms you experience. Some foods,
including strawberries, chocolate, wine, and beer, may contain enough histamine
to produce similar reactions, but these are not bona fide allergic reactions.

·Reactions
to food additives: MSG (monosodium glutamate) and sulphites often cause
reactions, but in these cases, the body has a chemical reaction, not an
allergic reaction, to the additive, not to the food itself.

·Other
common ailments: Food allergy is blamed for everything from migraine headaches
to irritable bowel syndrome, but most of these ailments are caused by something
other than a food allergy. Don’t waste your time chasing the food allergy
ghost. Work with your doctor to identify the real cause and obtain more
effective treatments.

Cognitive behavioral therapy – more commonly referred to as CBT – focuses on the way
people think and act in order to help them overcome their emotional and behavioral problems.

Many
of the effective CBT practices should seem like everyday
good sense. CBT does have some very straightforward and clear
principles and is a largely sensible and practical approach to helping people
overcome problems. However, human beings don’t always act according to sensible
principles, and most people find that simple solutions can be very difficult to
put into practice sometimes. CBT can maximize on your common sense and help you
to do the healthy things that you may sometimes do naturally and unthinkingly
in a deliberate and self-enhancing way on a regular basis.

December 17, 2012

Fibromyalgia
isn’t a one-size-fits-all kind of medical problem, but I can make some
descriptive generalizations about it regarding symptoms, causes, and pain.

Sizing
up the symptoms

Many
people with fibromyalgia report that the following statements are true about
their fibromyalgia symptoms. In fact, most people with fibromyalgia say that
they have at least several, if not all, of these symptoms:

·Flu-like
pain that can be severe

·A
constant feeling of extreme fatigue

·Several
tender body areas that hurt

·Overall
body aches

·Depression
and/or anger

·Feeling
very anxious

·Muscle
stiffness and pain

·Chronic
back pain

·Insomnia

·Worsening
of pain after physical activity

·Mental
malaise and confusion, often referred to as fibro fog

Many
people with FMS (fibromyalgia syndrome) have other pain-based medical
problems as well. Some examples of the array of medical conditions that people
with fibromyalgia may experience, on top of the fibromyalgia that they already
have (as if FMS isn’t enough), include:

If
you want your child to eat healthily, you need to serve her a wide variety of nutritious
foods for energy, growth, and development. This means giving processed and junk
foods a wide berth – but it doesn’t mean not being flexible. Food isn’t worth
arguing over, and if your child insists on eating curly cheesy crisps, that’s
fine – as long as they don’t form her staple diet. If most of the food your
child eats is nutritious, you’ll be keeping her in tip-top condition.

Try
doing the following to make sure that he eats well:

·Give
your child at least five helpings of fruit and vegetables a day – fresh,
frozen, canned, dried, or juiced. You’re probably already aware of this
important point, but there’s no harm in stressing it again. Fruit and vegetables
contain the crucial nutrients needed to maintain a healthy digestive system,
create new body tissue, fight infections, and a lot more. Try to offer your
child at least one orange and one green fruit or vegetable every day, as they
are known to be particularly beneficial and may help to prevent cancer and
other serious diseases. Fruit or vegetable juice only makes up one of her daily
portions of fruit and vegetables, no matter how much she drinks. That’s because
other goodies in the flesh are not included in juice, and digesting whole fruit
and vegetables benefits her system.

·Make
sure that your child eats breakfast. Studies show that if your child eats
breakfast, she’s far less likely to become obese in later life. Skipping breakfast
can cause blood-sugar problems and make your child’s metabolism sluggish, which
is bad for the digestive system. Most experts say that breakfast’s the most
important meal of the day: Breakfast eaters are less likely to contract
diabetes or have high cholesterol, which is a known risk factor for heart
disease.

·Maintain
your own healthy diet. You’re important too! Eating healthy food yourself is
one of the best ways of getting your child into good habits, so make sure that
you tuck in to your greens. Studies also show that children who have regular
family mealtimes are more likely to have healthier diets than those who don’t.
Snacking in front of the telly is a definite no-no.

·Offer
as much unprocessed food as possible, and get into the habit of reading labels
on the foods you serve. Check for things such as hidden fats, sugars,
additives, and salt. Foods with lots of preservatives and added flavourings are
often deficient in essential nutrients and high in unhealthy (and unnecessary)
chemicals. Salt’s a particular danger – it can cause health problems, including
high blood pressure and heart conditions. And sugar (and sugar substitutes),
additives, and colorings have been linked with everything from behavioural
problems to physical ailments.

·Get
your child to drink six to eight glasses of water a day. Drinking enough fluids
is vital. Water’s the best drink by far – try to keep sugary drinks and juices
to a minimum, and don’t serve them at all between meals because they are lethal
to tiny teeth. The British medical profession has been telling us for many
years that most children aren’t drinking enough. Dehydration leads to many
short-term and long-term health problems: Lack of water can cause headaches,
constipation, and poor concentration, to name but a few things. A good way to
tell whether your child’s dehydrated is to check the color of her urine. Her
urine should be a pale straw colour: If it’s dark yellow, she may well be
dehydrated. A sunken fontanelle (the soft spot on a baby’s head) can also
indicate dehydration.

Even
if you do everything right, your child’ll get ill – and probably quite
frequently. This isn’t a bad thing: Your child’s body needs to come into
contact with bacteria and viruses in order to build up a good resistance to the
germs. In fact, some research shows that the more illnesses your child gets in
the first few years of life, the healthier she’s likely to be later.

Of
course, you won’t welcome every cold and tummy bug your child falls victim to.
After all, caring for an ill child can be extremely worrying, especially when
you can’t quite work out what’s wrong. Try to keep things in perspective:

All
children get ill, and in the vast majority of cases the illnesses aren’t
serious and don’t pose any threat to your child’s long-term health. However, if
you’re at all concerned about your child, get her checked out by a doctor. And
try to be aware of the signs of diseases such as meningitis, which need urgent
medical treatment.

The
person who can tell better than anyone else whether your child is ill is you.
Follow your instincts: You’re likely to be able to spot when something’s not
quite right. Signs that your child has a bug include the following:

·A
fever: The presence of a fever almost always means an infection. Fever itself
is not dangerous – it’s the body’s normal reaction to the presence of foreign
organisms – but you need to bring down your child’s temperature to avoid
overheating, which can cause a febrile convulsion.

·Irritability
or lethargy: Your child’s behaviour may be influenced by a fever. The raised
temperature may make her irritable, drowsy, or lethargic.

·Coughing:
This is a common sign that your child has an infection.

·Vomiting
and diarrhoea: Symptoms like these are usually associated with problems
directly involving the tummy or bowel, such as gastroenteritis or food
poisoning, although sometimes they occur for other reasons. Some children vomit
if they have a high temperature; others vomit if they’re emotionally upset. Yes,
diarrhoea really can be a cause for celebration! If your child is suffering from
diarrhoea as well as vomiting, she probably has a tummy bug, which usually settles
on its own with no ill effects. Vomiting without diarrhoea, especially if accompanied
by fever, may have a different cause such as a urine infection. If you’re in
doubt, speak to your GP or health visitor.

·A
rash: Rashes often suggests a viral infection. The presence of a rash doesn’t
usually make the illness any more serious – in fact, it can help your doctor
diagnose illnesses such as German measles and chickenpox. But if your child has
a rash, ask your doctor to check it out to ensure that she’s not displaying a
symptom of meningitis or another dangerous illness. The easiest way to test for
meningitis is the ‘glass test’. Press the bottom of a glass on to your child’s
rash. If the rash fades or disappears, it is almost certainly not meningitis;
if the rash remains, your child may have meningococcal septicaemia (blood
poisoning) – so call an ambulance immediately.

From
the moment he’s born, your baby starts to develop and is longing to learn. Your
newborn uses all his senses – he can see, hear, feel, taste, and smell. At age
2 weeks, your baby follows movements, recognises faces, and begins to smile. He
recognises the voices of you and your partner and reacts to loud noises.

Development’s
rapid and continuous, but your baby will pick up some skills more quickly than
others. The development of his body depends on the maturity of his muscles and
nervous system: He won’t be able to walk or talk until these are functional.
Your baby develops from head to toe, so he won’t be able to sit until he can
control his head and he won’t be able to stand until he can sit down.

To
gain complete control of his body, your child needs to master the following three
types of skill:

·Gross
motor skills: These control the larger muscles needed for balance and movement
– for example, to walk. Your child develops body control from the top down,
starting with his head and shoulders and moving down to the arms and then the
legs.

·Fine
motor skills: These control the smaller muscles, such as those in the hands and
fingers. Your child learns how to use his arms, then his hands, and then his
fingers. At age 3 months, your child plays with his hands and fingers. At 6
months, he grasps using his whole hand; by 9 months, he has an inferior pincer
grasp (holding things with his first finger and thumb); and at 1 year, he has a
primitive tripod grasp (using the thumb and first two fingers). By 15 months,
your child uses his whole hand to pick things up. By age 2 years, your child is
more dextrous and can hold a pencil and draw.

·Sensory
skills: These control your child’s ability to perceive the world through his
senses – taste, touch, vision, smell, and hearing. Your child engages all five
senses to learn as much as possible about his new environment. Encourage your
child’s physical development by playing indoor games to help his fine motor
skills. Outdoor play is also very important because it allows him to burn off
excess energy.

Just
about anyone of any age can develop fibromyalgia, but most research so far
indicates that the majority of people with FMS (fibromyalgia
syndrome) are of the
female persuasion, partly because women are more sensitive to pain than men.
This is a time where a little equal opportunity of pain would be preferable (if
you’re a woman). But who gets fibromyalgia isn’t about fairness.

Although
women are the primary sufferers of fibromyalgia, many men have been diagnosed
with FMS, too, and some men with fibromyalgia go undiagnosed for years. For
more information about some of the major patterns that have been identified so
far among people who develop fibromyalgia, which you may share with these
fellow sufferers.

What
about children and adolescents? Do they have fibromyalgia? Sadly, yes. If your
child or teenager has FMS, he may have a difficult time because most physicians,
as well as the general public, still don’t realize that kids can experience chronic
pain from FMS. Instead, they think kids are faking it when they say that
they’re too sick to go to school. Maybe they are, but then again, maybe they’re
not.

Developing
social skills is an important part of your child’s growth. He needs to learn
how to share his things, consider others, communicate well, and have a positive
self-image in order to grow into a mature, emotionally balanced adult. Your
child also needs to learn how to feed, wash, and dress himself and go to the
toilet.

You
can do lots of things to aid your child’s progress. Get him to socialise with
other children, expose him to new environments on holidays and at playgroups,
give him lots of love and affection, and praise and encourage him. All of these
help him develop confidence, sociability, and independence.

From
birth to 24 months

For
the first month, your baby’s totally dependent on you. He communicates through
touch, his eyes, crying, and smiling. He learns how to interact with you by
watching your facial expressions.

By
3 months, your baby expresses his happiness and discomfort through different facial
expressions. He enjoys touching and being held by you. At 5 months, he may be a
little clingy and anxious about being separated from you or having to deal with
strangers. He may play alongside other children, but not necessarily with them
– this is known as parallel play.

By
6 months, your baby may be more accepting of other children. At 9 months, your
baby’s familiar with his family and may still be wary of strangers. At 1 year,
he’s affectionate towards you and enjoys playing with you. He may demand his
own way. At 15 months, he’s keen to get out into the world and explore his
environment – as long as you’re close by! He begins to use single words to
communicate and points to express his meaning. He starts to develop a sense of himself
as a person. He knows that he needs the toilet, but he isn’t yet able to control
his bladder.

By
18 months, your child’s vocabulary has increased and he communicates more
easily. He may express stronger emotions such as fear or anger. He signals that
he needs to go to the toilet, and he can undress himself.

From
2 to 4 years

At
2–3 years, your child’s a lot more independent and able to feed himself with a
fork and spoon, use the toilet, and wash and dress himself without your help.
He may be prone to temper tantrums. He likes to pretend play – act out ideas
and copy what you do – and parallel play – play alongside, but not with, other
children.

At
3 years, your child is more aware of other children and more likely to interact
with them – known as cooperative play – by sharing roles and activities. He may
have a special friend and be less egocentric.

By
age 4, your child forms longer-lasting bonds and friendships. He may have friends
of the same sex. He can wash his hands and face and clean his teeth. By age 5,
he can tie his shoelaces.

From
5 to 7 years

By
school age, your child has more awareness of a special or ‘best’ friend and knows
who he likes to play with – although this may change from day to day. He begins
to be more social, as he’s now interacting with teachers, other children, and
other adults. As a result, he start to develop values and becomes aware of what
is and isn’t socially acceptable. He gains independence and confidence. Play
time becomes more complex and competitive, with games such as hide-and-seek and
school sports. Being popular with his peers is very important and has a huge
impact on his self-esteem. This is an important and scary time in your child’s
life, so talk to him regularly about school, his friends, and his feelings.