2011-12 Round 11

Las Vegas 400 - Stardust International Raceway

Round 11 of 16

February 2, 2012

Las Vegas 400 2012

Strom Wins in Vegas, Baby!

(Las Vegas, NV, ok it was really in Greendale, WI) -- Dean Strom was hooked up from the time the car was unloaded from Target Mark Walczak Racing hauler. He drove straight through his heat race and never looked back in the final, dispatching Dan Margetta and Matt Hayek, as well as Sergio Valente Jeans Fan Challenge driver John Wiedemann who threw his car off the track and dashed the dreams of one lucky fan, Amy Butler, who would have won $15,000 had JW gone to victory lane. Husarsbilt Cup points leader Mark Walczak finished fifth, his 3 race winning streak ended and he missed his first final since the Halloween Havoc, but his points lead still well intact, finishing ahead of his closest rival Mike Lack.

Sergio's Vegas Updates:

De Sergio is already in de Vegas soaking local culture. Here report...from de man.

Sergio has not updated his Las Vegas blog for a couple days. Lets just say he’s been…uuhhhm, tied up, yes that’s it. Well, happy to report that he is fine and here is the latest update:

Day 7 or 8 or 9: De Sergio hand out flyers with de pretty lady pictures and phone numbers. Everybody know what the man do with de flyer…wink, wink. De Sergio broke, so he ask self why not put pictures of de Sergio on flyers with his phone number. We all know dat the ladies lowv de Sergio and de Sergio lowv the ladies. So why not de Sergio get paid for sharing himself? It work out like dream. Although some of de ladies are not exactly de Sergio type, if you know what I mean. But there money is all good. Sergio now have lots of money and can’t wait for race tomorrow. He tired and must rest from de lowv making. He penis have rash and itch. I no no why.

Day 6: De Sergio miss the 1988 Latin Olympic ice skating team by one Tres Toe Loop. He could be big star in Las Vegas Nudes on Ice and surely there will be de ladies in show and in audience and we all know dat the ladies lowv de Sergio and de Sergio lowv de ladies so Sergio must find where they put on the Nudes on Ice show so he can make money because de Sergio is broke.

Sergio look all over Las Vegas from Orleans to Flamingo to Stratosphere but no one know of the Nudes on Ice. Finally Mr. Fat Tony tell me that they cancelled the show years ago and to get back to handing out the flyers with the pretty ladies and phone numbers or else. Looking at the flyers with pretty ladies and phone numbers give de Sergio an idea.

Day 5: Sergio need job. He can't wait for race weekend and free food in media center. He need job now. De Sergio walking back to somewhere after pawn shop incident and a man who call himself Fat Tony...he quickly say not that Fat Tony, whatever dat mean...tell Sergio he have job for him. Hop in. De Sergio is given job of standing in front of Imperial Palace Casino and handing out flyers. The flyers have pictures of beautiful ladies and phone numbers. The ladies look lovely and Sergio like. Mr. Fat say he pay de Sergio 5 dollars for every 1 hundred flyers I hand out. I hand out like crazy. Everybody get flyer of pretty ladies from de Sergio, it no no matter who you are, you walk by de Sergio he give you flyer. Man stop by and ask Sergio, "Hey, aren't you the guy from that show, Nudes on Ice?"

Of course it no me. But they have nudes on ice show in Las Vegas? Sergio must find show and show them my talent skating.

Day 4: De Sergio broke! Lose all his money at Rio play Jack Black with bikini dealers. Sergio must make de money. So he go to Gold and Silver Pawn Shop to sell his gold chain. It must be worth 5000 US dollars. Sergio walk cuz he have no peso. He finally get there and there is line out door. More wait. Finally get in de store and man behind counter offer de Sergio 5 dollars for gold chain. He say it fake. But he offer de Sergio 20 dollars for his mustachio. De Sergio Mustachio?!!!!!!!? No Way. De Sergio no no sell the mustachio. I raise my voice and go over counter after large bald man. Next I know de large black man at the door drag me to curb by my mustachio. Still no money for de Sergio. I need job.

Day 3: De Sergio go to Rio Casino, must be good time wit plenty of ladies cause it have Latin name. De Sergio is right. They have Jack Black tables and dealer are pretty ladies in swim suit. The last time Sergio no play the Jack Black his nose broke, but dis pretty lady have long red hair and big boom-booms. I get 18 big red get 20. She take my money. Sergio get 19 and big red get 20 and she take my money. De Sergio get 20 and big red get 21. She take all my money.

Sergio go to hotel bar where the bartender by him a pineapple Mojito. Next a beautiful lady sit next to de Sergio and whisper in his ear. She want to make wild lowv to the Sergio. De luck of the Sergio is up looking. We make passion lowv and she ask for money. What?!? The lady lowvers of de Sergio no ask no money before! Large muscle man come to room and mop de floor with the Sergio mustachio. Me no no like dis Las Vegas.

Day 2: De Sergio walked to Sluts o' Fun and he look all over for de sluts. Every door I open, but no sluts, just lots of machines dat you put money in and wheel go round. De Sergio feel lucky and have a few penny in his pocket. I attracted to machine wit Dream of Genie. A few penny go in. Did you knew dat sitting at Genie they give you drink? De Sergio like da Mojito. Any what, penny go in and lights go on. De Sergio a big winner with 3000 penny. I rich!

But de penny no come out of Genie. Only ticket. He hit machine. He shake and roll it and I break Mojito glass on Genie. Dey give the Sergio money and den large black man say Sergio must go now. I no find sluts.

But across da street at da Riviera...at Latin hotel...and der on the board. Da Crazy Girls show. Da Sergio lov the loco lady. He get to the show and buy front row ticket wit new money. Da loco lady have no top. Ohhhh, the Sergio lov da Las Vegas.

Day 1: At de Jack Black table (I lowv his movies BTW). I say to de dealer...Rapheal was his name..."hit me." Other people say it and they get more card. I say it and de Rapheal punch de Sergio in nose. Blood all over de cards and Sergio go to hospital now.

De Circus Casino say they are sorry to the Sergio. They offer him free night stay, ice pack and famous buffet. I look out room window and see sign for Sluts o' Fun. Sergio must go now. More on Day 2 maybe.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE!

R.J. Foyt Race Tracks, Inc. has announced that they will relocate Milwaukee International Speedway to Las Vegas, Nevada in time for the 2012 Indy SlotCar Series race! The move became a necessity after R.J. Foyt could not come to an agreement with the City of Milwaukee over a continuation of the lease that they had signed five years ago. The track had come under fire from several environmental groups, highlighted by a “No Nukes, No Race Track” concert headlined by Jackson Browne, Don Henley, James Taylor and Linda Ronstadt last month.

R.J. Foyt Race Tracks, Inc. had considered several locations before settling on Las Vegas. It was rumored that a handshake agreement had been reached with the community leaders in Tulsa, Oklahoma several weeks ago, but the deal fell through when Mayor Luther B. Cornpone was indicted on twelve counts of racketeering.

R.J. Foyt Race Tracks, Inc. has also announced that they have reached a deal with the Stardust Resort & Casino to rename the track Stardust International Raceway. [Editor’s note: There was a real Stardust International Raceway that operated in Las Vegas between 1965 and 1970. It hosted the CAN-AM series finale and in 1968, an IndyCar race, which was won by Bobby Unser. The Stardust Resort & Casino was sold in 1969, and the new owners allowed the track to fall into disrepair. The Stardust itself closed in 2006. A new casino, known as Echelon Place, was built on the site...but never finished due to the economic downturn. It remains an unfinished (and mothballed) shell. It's also worth nothing that the novel (and movie) Casino was largely based upon the real life running of the Stardust.]

The track will incorporate a section of the famed Las Vegas Boulevard as the main-straight. Turn 1 will be located adjacent to the Thunderbird Hotel & Casino. [Editor's note: The Thunderbird was closed in 1992. There were several unsuccessful ventures to transform and reopen the casino, but they all ended in failure. The casino was imploded in 2000, and the site is now home to an upscale condominium complex.]

The cars will then turn left off of Las Vegas Boulevard, passing through the former site of the El Rancho Vegas (which burned down in 1960) before heading into Turn 2. A back-straight and pit complex will be built in the desert behind the Circus Circus Las Vegas. [Editor's note: If you ever been to Vegas and haven't visited the decaying Circus Circus, you've really missed out on something. It's dingy, faded and old...but it's worth a visit just for this history behind it.]

The cars will then enter Turn 3 and Turn 4, which will filter the cars back onto Las Vegas Boulevard across the street from the Stardust. The final leg of the 1-mile oval circuit will take the cars past the Silver City Casino and the famed Riviera Hotel & Casino. [Editor's note: The Silver City Casino was closed down in 1999 and the site was turned into a strip mall. The Riviera, however, is still in operation. It first opened in 1955 and it was one of the five casinos ripped off by The Rat Pack in the original Ocean's 11. With the closing of the Sahara this year, the Riviera and the Flamingo are the only remaining casinos from the film.]

To celebrate the inaugural event, which will be called the Las Vegas 500, R.J. Foyt Race Tracks, Inc. has announced their “$30(,000) Super Race Spectacular”! The race entry fee of $2,(000) per competitor will be put into a special prize fund. R.J. Foyt will then contribute the necessary funds to top out of the amount at a whopping $30(,000)! Prior to the race, two names will be drawn at random from the entrant list. The first entrant picked will win $15,(000) if the next entrant picked wins the event. If the picked entrant does win the event, they will pocket the remaining $15,(000)! If the prize fund is not won…R.J. Foyt Race Tracks, Inc. will donate the money to the Dan Wheldon Foundation.

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