The Noxzema Girl Has A Sex Tape (Sort Of)

Rebecca Gayheart – the former Noxzema girl – is the most Googled person, place or thing in America today, followed closely by her husband, Eric Dane (a.k.a. “McSteamy” from Grey’s Anatomy).

Why?

Well, the couple represent two-thirds of what has to be the most disappointing “celebrity sex tape” in Hollywood history.

The third wheel in this “menage-a-boring?” Former Miss Teen USA Kari Ann Peniche, who is reportedly under federal investigation for running a Hollywood prostitution ring.

Classy, right?

You can watch the first three NSFW minutes of this ridiculousness on Gawker … right now if you want to (we’re not stopping you). Meanwhile, the very, very, very NSFW website Fleshbot says it will post the entire twelve minute tape on its website Tuesday morning.

We recommend not watching either version, though, because these three stoned-out-of-their-gord morons seemed to have wasted their sexual spark on lighting whatever it was they were smoking. At one point, Gayheart has to lie down because she’s “so high.”

Great … and thanks a lot Rebecca.

Our fantasy of Noxzema girl and Tiffany Amber Theissen making a sex tape with Sic Willie is officially one-third ruined.