Birthday Musings

(The two pictures were of: a few days before my 32nd bday, and the bottom, yesterday).

Oh, birthdays. Here is it again. I never get concerned about the numbers getting larger, and never eat a whole bday cake to blow out the candles anymore, however, I do use this day as one for contemplation (and fun).

So, many of you say that the one thing you appreciate about me is my honesty, so here goes…

Starting with something good. Ending with something good.

1. God is so good to me. I just finished praying that as I read an email from a friend, wished in someways that my life was like hers, than very grateful that my life is the way God made it and designed for it to be at this moment.

“May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us.” – Ps 67.1

2. Solo pictures. FB does this – I promise you! (and yes, I really do love facebook). And my pride does this as well. May God crush that. I hate solo shots. I went to lunch with 2 friends today for my bday and wanted a shot of me at Red Robin. why? To see how I looked. What did I find out – I look alone. My Mom wanted a picture of me for the mantle, my brother took several, they turned out well, but there I will be in a frame by myself. For senior pictures it was ok, but gone are the days of senior pictures.

3. Our bodies age. Ladies – wouldn’t you have loved to be have been Eve (pre-fall)? I mean, come on…walking around naked for the joy of your husband without anything sagging, no gray hairs, no anything out of place, nothing sore, nothing on the mend, no wrinkles, no bags under the eyes, no chin hairs to pull out, no waxing to do. Oh, what joy that would have been. But, the fall. It happened. Eve had to eat. Now, we deal with all these things as we age. And going back to #2, I won’t ever look “prime” for my husband (if God has chosen for me one). I was reminded of that this morning as I was getting ready. In the next 10 years (if the Lord tarries), my eyesight will get worse, I’ll have more gray hair (or spend more money coloring it), will have to spend more on waxing (or become the freak woman at the fair with the beard) – (side note, woman, you all know what I’m talking about). Our bodies are not meant to last forever. This is the effect of sin on us. God has, though, redeemed our bodies and our souls. We are one. I have no clue what our bodies will look like in the afterlife, but I’m glad I won’t have to have a pair of tweezers with me – or concealer.

4. I got a card in the mail from my parents (always signed by my mother, I know): “Parents do not realize when their daughter is a child, how fleeting the moments truly are. And in the blink of an eye the little girl who did pirouettes down the hall is dancing her way through her own life. What a joy it was then, what a joy it is now, what a joy it will always be – having you for a daughter!” Yes, I teared. I wonder though – yes, I know parents are supposed to say that, but then time at home is so different than it is here, we fuss, argue, communicate wrongly, have longings and expectations that aren’t met. I want my parents to always say this of me: “Let your father and mother be glad, let her who bore you rejoice.” Prov 23.255. Time is so fleeting. Things are fleeting. Like today – I was so looking forward to eating Red Robin with some friends. 59 fat grams and 740 calories later (I left off bun, mayo, and only ate half of the fries with my bacon cheeseburger) it was gone. Was life any better? No. I just felt yuck for eating all of it (the fries were amazing though). This day is fleeting. Things that I make for people are fleeting, all will rot. Why do I tend to place so much emphasis on things in life. People are more important. I think back to the last few hours I was in Lakeland this time. I wanted to run over (across the pasture) to see my grandparents on our way to Orlando. Christmas Day wasn’t the best for family communication, so I wanted to at least end our time on a happy note. My granny was sitting there shelling pecans, my papa was in his chair reading the paper. I thought to myself, if something happens, I may never see my Papa alive again. To my knowledge he is not a believer (by his own testimony). I cry everytime I leave his sight, and even now as I am writing this. He is such an incredibly gracious man. He taught me to fish, drive a boat, pick grapes, clean a fish, make homemade french fries, and corned beef hash. All those are really important things – right? Not as important as knowing Jesus. The Preacher said a lot of it: “Vanity of vanities…all is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?” – Ecc 1.2,3 It is all vanity.

6. I finished Genesis this morning. In 4 days I’ve read from Creation to the end of Joseph’s life. I actually liked reading it in this little amount of time because you don’t forget things. I saw many similar topics in Genesis: blessing, presence, covenant, obedience, guidance. “When the sun had gone down and it was dark, behold a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch passed between these pieces.” Genesis 15.17 (If you don’t know the story behind that verse I chose, please ask me, it was one that makes me cry every time I read it). You know what I remember…my God is very good to me. He created me to have a relationship with him, than…when I messed it up…He pursues me to continue that relationship. (I love the book of Hosea for this very reason.) He called out to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, their mothers, he cries out to me even now. I am so thankful that I have a God who created me in His image, loves me with an everlasting covenantal love, and will never forsake me – even when I am faithless. Praise be to God for another year.

7. And just to let you know – I’m really looking forward to this year. Its going to be amazing. God is so faithful to me. He is so incredibly gracious to me. I look forward to seeing fruit bear in my life from being in His presence. And God has given me gracious and wonderful friends, for whom I am very thankful. All for God’s glory, right! “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” – James 1.17