Thursday, December 23, 2010

I have a special person in my life who has seen me through some of the most awful times I have ever faced. This person amazes me on a daily basis, never turning from me even though most would have abandoned me for lack of understanding. A counselor would not have done a better job at listening, and when advice was asked for it was always given in love. I saw a card tonight at the store that described our friendship so well, but alas a Christmas card has already been given. This card described how true friends never give up on one another, never leave one another under any circumstances. They may disagree on subjects, but the respect they hold deep inside for each other prevents them from holding a grudge. My special person has listened to me scream,cry,and probably growl at my life and yet always calmed me down with a soothing "are you finished yet?" and a direction to walk. This person waked me through some dark valleys, up some tall mountains, and through some FIRE. Holding my hand, sometimes like a little girl.I know for a fact now I have never had a better more loving friend in the 47 years on this earth. If I could give you the world my friend, I would and you know that. If I could give you back half of what you have given me,life would be better in my eyes. This person has made me laugh, cry and love in a whole different way. I see things through different eyes as my friend has whittled my eyes into eyes that see clearly, maybe for the first time in my life. If I knew I would be blessed in so may ways by this person, I would have prepared. How, I do not know. You really do not know the changes you have helped me make friend, and how much I cherish you. I hope your life gives you all you deserve..for you are my ANGEL sent from above!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I am: I am a helper when the need arises. I am a loving human being. I am fearful of the unknown.I am a best friend. I am a go getter, when there is something to go get!! I am a lover. I am a mother. I am a sister I am a daughter. I am a cryer. I am sensitive. I am bold. I am happy. I am sad. I am a woman. I am a little girl(sometimes). I am a giver. I am a teaser. I am a laugher. I am a deep thinker. I am a secret keeper. I am an opinion giver (if asked). I am an open book. I am a nutritionist. I am a homeopathic guru. I am a fun person. I am a runner. I am an avid personal eating coach. I am a movie watcher. I am a mountain hiker. I am an exerciser. I am always looking at others to make sure they are fine. I am a care giver. I am a child lover. I am a nanny. I am crazy. I am a lover of practical jokes.I am a lover of people. I am spiritual. I am romantic. I am beautiful in my heart.I am a lover of good food and fine dining. I am a lover of the ocean. I am a lover of helpers like me. I am pissed at any abuse. I am healthy. I am happy just talking. I am a lover of the time with my best friend. I am a California girl. I am a tornado chaser. I am a storm lover. I am a person you might find you like. I am a person you might find you don't like. I AM.... Dee Anne Hall

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Sometimes I get so confused about life. There is always this little voice inside me saying "Are you doing what you are supposed to do?" Does anyone else think about that on almost a daily basis?? I wonder if I am ever going to be content in knowing I am doing the "right thing" for me, and of course the world. I know I was put here for the purpose of serving...because it gives me such joy to help another achieve. I feel worth something. Just living for myself is one of the most unfulfilling journeys, and if that is what life is about, I do not want any part of it. And yet it can be torcher wondering always daily if you have done your duty. I have learned to ease up on myself and just enjoy what comes along. I try to keep my eyes open as to the path the Divine has put me on.Learning to live in the here and now is the hardest thing to learn. Daily I try to practice that lesson and yet I find myself and my thoughts wandering to the future or the past. The past for me is sad and the future can be wonderful or scary depending on my mood. Joy really does come from centering and living in the present precious moment. The word WORRY does not exist when you live for "RIGHT NOW". I can rest in that thought if only I could live it well.Joy and peace come in waves, and we as humans struggle to feel that each moment. I have to tell myself, it is okay to feel sad sometimes, mad sometimes and downright angry about things sometimes. I am the only one who can change my thought status... I am the one who decides who or what can touch me..emotionally or physically. I am me, and each day I am becoming more comfortable with "me" because in this moment, "me" is my only comfort!!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Do you ever look in the mirror and think 'who am I and where did I go? I have gone through some life changing trials in the past few months, and there were many times I thought I was never going to find Dee Anne again. That is scary because, truly you begin to wonder who you ever were!! One day clouds into the next, and you realize you have now become a totally different person and the old one is gone forever. How did you live as that old person?? and are you ever going to feel comfortable in your new skin?? I am here to tell you yes and the skin can be silk if you let it. Depression is real and can play a part in the whole metamorphosis. The sun doesn't shine many days as you under go spiritual surgery. Sometimes you wonder if you will ever feel right again...You will..time has such a way of healing things but the waiting is HELL!!Grab hold of your blanket and your thumb and take a break. Expect nothing while you go through the changes of divorce, relationships, job changes, and any upheaval. You must give your mind and body time to adjust to their new surroundings!! It is unpleasant and can feel like you are dying, but go with it!! Soon the clouds will lift and you will emerge a butterfly successfully molded from a caterpillar so many months ago. You will be able to start appreciating your beautiful colors and looking in the mirror without cringing anymore!! You will fly again and wonder how you ever survived the PAIN of the cocoon you lived in for a little time.I was very blessed to have a very wonderful friend walk down the road of what seemed like insanity at times, with me. That friend will never know how many time they saved me from myself and my thoughts of leaving this world. Do angels come to people..yes I believe so..This person knows quite well how bad I felt sometimes and stuck with me through it all. It may not be over either..but the storm clouds have given way to some blue sky at least for me and I think I am back in the land of the living again...So when you are re-doing...and it seems life is punching you in the face..turn the other cheek and feel it, smell it, taste it..use all your being to absorb what you are going through...then let it go and the day will come when you look in the mirror and say...Change is good!!! I like ME again!!