Kirstie Alley Talks Like Tom Cruise
The Cheers star is quoted in Scientology’s church magazine rattling on about mankind, saving the world and the “fourth dynamic.” All she needs is a couch to jump on and she’s good to go. [NYP]

New Kids on the Block: Plotting Comeback?
One of the Kids posted confusing Myspace messages about a possible NKOTB reunion, proving that they care as little as we do about seeing Hangin’ Tough live again. [Us]

Pete Doherty Addicted to Animals
The cracked out Brit has taken to rescuing critters, like a one-legged hedge hog which he now keeps in his garden. This isn’t what we had in mind for “rehab,” but okay.? [Daily Star]

More Miley Bikinis Pics Hit Web
Someone’s trying to sabotage the star with sexy pics posted on the internet. Being sixteen sucks no matter how much fame you got going on. [NYDN]

Iggy the Dog Shoots TV Commercial
Only in America could a dog milk its 15 minutes of fame like this. Bark cheese, Iggy! If you can dance better than Ellen, maybe you can get your own doggy show. [Us]

Britney & Her Mom Get New Managers
Both of the Spears girls have got some new representation, ya’ll! Brit’s mama now has a manager (uh, why?) and Britney’s hired creepy pal Sam Lufti to be her babysitter. [NYP]

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has a Baby Boy
Happy news for Elisabeth and her hubby, sad news for our ears. Her big-mouth will be back yapping on TV in only a few hours (noooo!), when she announces the kid’s name on The View. [People]

Amy Winehouse?s Hubby in Hot Water
They tried to make Blake go to jail – and he didn’t really have a choice in the matter because he’s being charged with tampering with a witness. [People]