I know you’ve probably heard me say this before, but this time I actually mean it. Because after seeing this Aussie pants fire Casey Boonstra in the latest issue of Maxim Australia, I’ve decided I’m doing it — I’m moving Down Under. I mean, come on, I work from home, right? Which means I can work from anywhere, as long as there’s a mom and a basement and decent wifi. So if you live in Australia and your mom wants to put me up, send me an email. I’m coming, Casey!

Ugh. I guess Hannah Davis is going by Hannah Jeter now. At least, judging by this Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue teaser video they just released. But that’s not even the worst part. See, I just found out her and that loser ex-ballplayer are having a kid. So make sure to take a good look at Hannah’s killer bikini body here, because it might be the last one we see for a while. What a shame. She had so much potential too.

Since I’m such a good guy (stop laughing, I haven’t gotten to the jokes yet), I figured I’d get my loyal readers something nice for Valentine’s Day: like this brand-new set of bikini pictures from supermodel/total pants fire Josephine Skriver. And actually, if you’re ever stuck for a present, this works for pretty much every occasion, birthdays, Christmas, housewarming parties. So enjoy, and you’re welcome.

According to this latestSports IllustratedSwimsuit Issueteaser, Emily DiDonato is going to take us to “a field of dreams” in this video. And I’ve gotta admit, watching Emily roll around topless in some field is pretty close to my actual dreams. There’s only a couple key differences: 1) Emily’s usually joined by a few other SI supermodels, and 2) the whole thing never lasts even close to a 1 minute 44, like it does in this video. We’re talking maybe 30, 45 seconds max.

I guess now that Aaron Rodgers is officially on vacation, it’s time for Olivia Munn to get back to work. And by “work,” I mean posting regular bikini pictures on Instagram. And that’s great news for the rest of us perverts, because it probably means we’ll be getting more pictures like this of Olivia playing beer pong in a swimsuit in some tropical destination. Here’s hoping she moves on to topless tanning next.

I don’t know about where you guys live, but winter’s still dragging on over here in my mom’s basement. So I figured I’d do my part to get us all thinking warmer thoughts by posting this massive bikini photoshoot from SI Swimsuit model/total pants fire Hannah Ferguson. And I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling it already. In fact, I think I might even need to take my pants off. You know, to cool down. Get your minds out of the gutter.

I know Kelly Gale isn’t a household name in the modeling world just yet. Hell, I had to look her up again myself to remember who she was, and it’s my job to stay up to date on all the professional bikini hotties out there. But I’m willing to bet that’s all going to change after this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue comes out. Because judging from this little preview they just posted, Kelly is definitely a star in the making. Or a major pants fire, at least.

Back in the day, I used to do a minimum of three Nina Agdalposts a week, and I don’t know if it’s me or her, but my former #1 favorite hottie just hasn’t been looking as hot as she used to lately. In fact, I’m pretty sure I haven’t done a single post on her in almost six months. I guess I’ve just moved on. But here’s a new bikini photoshoot from the Dutch model for old times sake. Although if Nina wants to get that weekly Tuna coverage again, I’m going to need a little more from her than this. I figure a few “leaked” topless selfies sent to my inbox would probably do the trick. Only one way to find out…

I don’t know why Victoria’s Secret hasn’t hired Rachel Cook here yet, or what’s taking them so damn long, but I’m going to keep doing posts on this Insta-babe until those guys come to their senses. I mean, seriously, what do the Hadid sisters or the Jenners have that Rachel doesn’t? You know, besides rich parents who’ll buy them modeling careers. Because I’ve been doing this gig for a long time now, and in my professional opinion, Rachel’s bikini body is better than all four of those wannabes combined. But don’t just take my word for it. The bikini pictures speak for themselves.

I don’t know how Esquire Mexico managed to corner the market on busty swimsuit model babes, but first it was Hailey Clauson and now here’s Genevieve Morton showing off her personal floatation devices for their 2017 Swimsuit Edition. I don’t know who else they’ve got in there, but this is already hotter than the last three Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues combined.

Let’s be honest: 2016 pretty much sucked. But thanks to Esquire Mexico, it looks like we’ll be kicking off 2017 right. Because they got one of my new favorite busty blondes Hailey Clauson to do the cover of their 2017 Swimsuit Edition, and these are hands down some of the hottest pictures I’ve seen all year. Here’s hoping they turn this into a monthly thing.

Now that Thanksgiving’s over and you’re done eating turkey and elbowing old ladies out of the way at Walmart for half-price TVs, I’ve got something we can all actually be thankful for: this amazing bikini photoshoot from busty hottie Monica Orlanda. I don’t know much about Monica — maybe she’s Romanian? — but I do know she’s got a killer body. And that’s more than enough for me. Enjoy.

I don’t know why every single photoshoot has to look like the pictures have been taken with Instagram filters now. What ever happened to just coming up with cool photoshoot ideas on your own? But I will say this, these pictures do have at least one good thing going for them: they’re of smoking hot Latvian model Ginta Lapina. And that’s good enough for me. Yow!

I always hate it when the weather gets colder, mostly because it mean the hotties start to layer up and the Little Tuna basically goes into hibernation until next bikini season. But even if it’s not beach weather where you are anymore either, there’s still some good news: thanks to hotties like Marloes Horst and photoshoots like this, I can still get my bikini fix all fall and winter long. And I figure these ought to last me at least another day 45 seconds. Good enough!