Republican gubernatorial nominee Carl Paladino has recently proven he's about more than just sexist and racist emails. He is also about insanely homophobic comments and a fixation with grinding and Speedos. He clears it up on The Today Show!

"I just think my children and your children would be much better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family, and I don't want them brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid and successful option - it isn't."

He then pointed out that opponent Andrew Cuomo had attended the gay pride parade this year, and he hadn't. He declined to say a portion that was in his prepared text, "There is nothing to be proud of in being a dysfunctional homosexual." Because that would be crossing the line.

Once the Cuomo campaign blasted Paladino for his homophobia, Paladino's campaign responded by saying that some of their best campaign staffers — or one of them — is gay. (Also, that Paladino is no worse than the Catholic church, and that lots of voters agree with him. Which, sadly, may be true.) "Don't misquote me as wanting to hurt homosexual people in any way," Paladino said just after the event. "That would be a dastardly lie."

On Today this morning, Paladino even said that in addition to having "homosexuals working in my organization," he has a gay nephew. God, hope that brainwashing isn't genetic. Does his nephew own a Speedo? Because those are the kinds of homosexuals Paladino said today that he was opposed to.

Paladino has claimed that the Orthodox Jewish group that he was speaking to wrote the text, a point on which Matt Lauer challenged him — did he let all of his audiences write his positions? Lauer also noted the spate of recent attacks on gays, including the brutal torture of three men in the Bronx, as well as the suicide at Rutgers.

"You say that you don't want to bring harm to homosexuals but are you afraid that your words might incite someone who is perhaps not as open minded as you seem to be?" Lauer said.

Paladino said, "Mr. Cuomo took his daughters to a gay pride parade. Is that normal? Would do do it? Would you take your children to a gay pride parade?"

When Lauer responded that he thought it was fine to expose your kids to a lot of things and help them make their own decisions, he said, "I don't think it would be proper to have them to go watch a couple of grown men grinding against each other... I think that's disgusting." As usual, public homophobes are inordinately obsessed with what the gays do with their bodies, to a remarkable point.

The Internet has already come up with a constructive solution to the ball of bigotry that is Paladino: Valid And Successful, which is selling merchandise labeled with the phrase, from which "a healthy portion of the proceeds...will be used to chip away at any remaining support Carl may have."