Click

I carry your little with me.
Each day, every milestone, every new you discover is a memory I hold.
And each and every memory is just like a little picture,
I can almost hear the click, and that's when I know, this one will stay with me.
And so, as the days pass, it is as though I am building your photo alum of childhood.

The first time I held youclick.
The first time you held my fingerclick.
The first time you made eye contact,click.
The first time you smiled,click.
Your first word and where it was spoken,click.
Your first steps and how old you were,click.
The first time you went to preschool, the first time you got on and off a bus,click.
The first time you came rushing in with excitement to share something with me,click.
Your first soccer goal and the sound of your voice when you called to tell me,click.
When you first saw him, how excited you were to be his big sister, his best friend.
click.

In my heart, I keep all of this safe for you.
Ready to flip through our album whenever you need a piece of home, a part of you.
Whenever you want to know what you were like when.
Whenever you need to go back, so you know how to go forward.

Together, we can turn the pages, we can go through the past.

Our vacations and how excited you are for summer with dad,click.
How one time we had to be taken to a hospital because you were so sick,click.
And how smiley and happy you were when you started feeling better,click.
Our Saturdays at the track,click.
When you learned how to ride a bike,click.
Our family swims,click.
When you first learned to read, and then, when you fell madly in love with books.click.
Dad, how much you fall back in love with dad every. single. dayclick.

I know that soon, you will start your very own album,
one I will be memories in and so many others will fill your pages.
But this time, this precious bit of time, these are the memories I hold for you, close and safe with me.
And I know how much you need to go back and review, as much as I do.
I know that you need to relive your little, your small.
And I don't know if it's the actual stories, or my reaction to the stories.
How you can visibly feel our hearts growing and feel how warm we are.
Because through all of our mistakes and I am sorrys, through all of the times that we have messed up as parents,
God, there was and is so much good.
Our joy, our connection, our love,click.