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Drawing a blank each time I think of writing something…. If I lose this then there are only a few things left with me which are worth living for…. The bad dark is coming closer and closer today….is clinging too close to the surface….I wish to shoo it away but I am just too tired…wish someone could do it for me…take away the bad darkness and leave me in peace with the good, soothing darkness so that I could just draw it deep inside me, hide in it and relax and rejuvenate a little bit…sink deep in it….take a little break from the world around me…I need some “me” time…not going to get it any time soon…waiting for next week to come as soon as possible…going for a Vipassana retreat….it will be 10 days of total fun for me…lots of peace, silence and “me” time…. Patience, dear heart, patience…next week is not that far…

It’s official… The new medicines are awesome… They have made me so calm. The storm in my brain has quietened down to a significant level. Enjoying it so much. A calm and quiet mind is such a paradise. So what if I miss talking to my shadow self. This calmness is good… After a long time too… And it gels well with my Vipassana practice too… There’s nothing more I could ask from my life at this particular juncture. I’m blessed.

Others cannot hurt you. The actions of others do not give rise to emotions in you. You feel, you react because those emotions are already there inside you. You react to your own emotions. You perceive the words and actions of others the way you have habituated yourself to do. Good habits and bad – both are learned, both trainable. Your perception is what that matters. If your perception is positive, your emotions are positive, then you keep calm even in the most dire and worst of situations. If your perception is negative, then you end up making yourself miserable even in the best situation.

Don’t blame others for your misery. The root of it lies within yourself, in your own mind, in the training you have given your mind. Improve your thoughts, improve your mind, educate it, don’t be blind. Improve your self, improve your life. The path to eternal happiness lies within your own mind. Find it. Walk on it diligently, sincerely. In no time, you will reach your goal. Become the calm, serene, deep lake that you can be. No ripples, no waves. Just peace. Just sanity. Just happiness. Don’t beg for happiness, don’t cry for it or feel as if you are entitled to it. No one is! Work for it, work hard! Train your mind, make it pure. That’s the only way.

Those who are at ease with their deeds do not find any pleasure or pain with another’s criticism or praise. How does it matter what others think about you be it your family, friends or the society at large if you are comfortable in your own skin? Knowing the truth of your doings and the intention behind them births confidence in yourself. But most of the times, our own intentions and deeds are impure. We mean to hurt or harm others through them. What we forget is that to hurt or harm someone else, the impurity has to rise in ourselves first. But we cannot escape the effects of such a doing that results in stress, tension, anxiety and other psychosomatic disorders. We are always concerned with what other people think about us. We are never bothered about what we think about ourselves when that’s what impacts us the most. True peace can be found only at the bottom of self-realization. We forget this simple truth. You cannot be happy if you don’t know your own motivations/intentions behind your actions. You will remain always a scared, unreliable and uncertain shadow of the individual you have the potential to be. Knowledge brings confidence, trust and power. Knowing yourself, your motivations and intentions and being fully alert and attentive while taking any decisions and performing your deeds is the only way to happiness, peace and joy in your life. There is no other way. You cannot be blind towards yourself and still be truly happy.

Misguided happiness is not true happiness. Self delusion is not peaceful. Ignorance is not bliss. Knowledge is power. Self realization is the key. The mind is highly trainable. Train yourself to be alert every moment, to be cognizant of your every action. Don’t make any decisions blindly. Don’t perform any actions rashly, randomly. Initially, it will be tough. The mind is like a monkey but with practice comes ease.

Happiness will pass away
Sadness will pass away
Life will pass away
Death will pass away
Success will pass away
Failure will pass away
Fulfilled promises will pass away
Broken vows will pass away
Laughter will pass away
Tears will pass away
Emotions will pass away
Emotionless will pass away
Religious will pass away
Atheist will pass away
Intellectual will pass away
Ignorant will pass away
Fame will pass away
Money will pass away
Poverty will pass away
Prosperity will pass away
Hate will pass away
Love will pass away
Loved ones will pass away
Enemies will pass away
I will pass away
You will pass away
Given enough time
Everything, everyone will pass away
And one day, even time will pass away
Wake up! Open your eyes! Search for the truth! The time is now!
Be free! Be liberated! Be happy!