just some thoughts about what it is to grow closer to God while still being in this world

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

You can find His hand in most things

God's been showing me His hand in my life through the various things, situations, and circumstances that I've walked through. I wanted to share two of the most recent with you.

An example of seeing God's hand afterwards...

A couple weeks ago I went to this training on SOZO ministries, which is basically a Holy Spirit led time of encountering God personally for an individual. We had a few corporate time where we were practicing what we were learning, and this particular instance we were asking God about personal walls that have been built and whether we could break them down. God showed me this huge wall around me, with a couple holes in it, and then told me it was not safe for me to break it down. I was so angry with God, not understanding why He would have called me to this place, and then told me that I can't do what I felt was necessary to walk into the freedom He wants to give us. I was really hung up on the whole "not safe" for me to tear down the wall that I had built to protect myself. I just did not get it, and was offended with God because I felt like He was holding out on me. I, of course, asked Him to forgive me for feeling that way, because I know that's not who He is, and accepted His forgiveness and moved on being blessed immensely with the rest of the training seminar.

I can look back now and completely see how still having that wall is beneficial for me. I do believe that God desires for me to be without self defense mechanisms and be able to trust Him, but He also knows me better than I know myself, and knew that I still needed it b/c I wasn't in a place of knowing Him intimately enough to get rid of it and fully lean on Him through the painful things that are a part of life. I don't have a clue how He's going to use what I am currently needing to walk through for His glory, and it doesn't matter. I believe Him that He will. It is comforting to know that even when you can't see His hand in something at the time, sometimes you can look back and see it later. I love that part of God!

An example of seeing God's hand in it...

I had left the dentist the other day with the boys, first visit with no cavities, and they had given each of the boys this horrible squeaky toy to take with them. I had already decided to throw each squeaker away the second the boys took their eyes off of them, when I spotted a garage sale sign. I desperately needed out of that car so I turned left from the right lane, thankfully the coast was clear, and pulled up. I left the boys in the car, knowing by the squeaks that they were enjoying themselves, and browsed the very small selection of goods. It was totally a God thing that I stopped. I had the most amazing conversation about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit with the couple running the sale. They were blessed to hear my testimony of God's love and protection in my life, and were able to encourage me in some areas where I wasn't really feeling/believing the grace of God for me personally in certain areas. I got back in the car and was able to endure the 17 min trip home without even needing to throw those ridiculous squeaky toys away. I am curious though why the dentist felt it was a good idea to give out yappy dog toys to children, has He not heard of temporary insanity? I'll have to to let them know that they can most likely get better toys for cheaper from Oriental Trading on our next visit, lol.

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About Me

I'm a SAHM of 4 boys, 1 girl, and two angels. I've been with my husband for 18 yrs and have been blessed immeasurably by him choosing to be with me and support me in my endeavors.
I was an atheist for many years, but the Lord just wouldn't leave my hard heart alone so I came to believe in Him. I stayed a lukewarm Christian for some time, and then the last ten years have really felt a deeper connection and calling to being a follower of Jesus Christ.
My life has been changing by leaps and bounds, and it's brought new life to my marriage, my day to day interactions, and my personal successes sprinkled with failures.
The Lord's GRACE is the key to everything. Jesus is my standard, and by grace through faith not only am I saved, but I can also lead the life He told me to. My days are spent seeking His humility, obedience to our Father, and letting His perfect love have its way in my heart.