Monday, October 27, 2008

Sweet Baby Cooper

It is with a heavy heart I share the news that Cassie's darling baby Cooper has returned to his Heavenly Father. While the news is still very fresh with me and I do not know all the details yet, I cannot help but feel that Cooper has found some peace. In his short while here on earth he did not know what it meant to feel the sun on his face or take a walk with mom. His life was a struggle from the start; in a body that was not meant to last the decades we think required to make up a lifetime. He was a warrior. Sent to fight his fight, teach life lessons to those left behind, and report back to his Father.

What Cooper did know of this life may be some of the most important things~

He knew his parents loved him. Tyson and Cassie held a near constant vigil over Cooper since he arrived. Last time I saw Cassie I couldn't help but call her "Mama Bear" because of the way she protected and watched out for baby Cooper with each new nurse or doctor. She kept notes on what medications were given to him, when they were given, and what reactions he had. She knew that some of his medications when given with a bolus feed or other actions made him irritable. She knew what combinations of treatments made it more difficult for him to feed. We discussed the anatomy of his heart in more detail than either of us thought ourselves capable of. She went over and over all the scenarios~ she was Cooper's constant guardian. He must have felt so safe with her nearby.

He knew bodies aren't perfect, but souls are. Cooper was sent to this life a perfect spirit in an imperfect shell. For whatever reason, his mission here was made harder and shorter than most, but nonetheless important. As I mentioned in a post a couple of weeks ago, his serious forehead, wild hair, and knowing eyes combined to give the impression of an old soul; wise far beyond his time here. I am glad to have had the honor of meeting him.

He knew life was fragile. As I sit here worried about Cassie and wondering what can we do to make things easier for her, I know the greatest lesson Cooper's short life has given me is to appreciate the small victories the Lord has blessed us with so far. McKay is home. He is strong. I have seen him smile and heard his cry. He is forever etched into our lives. And no matter how much this experience reminds us that he is sick and has fierce battles ahead of him, we have him here today and we need to fill his today with life; not worries.

Tyson and Cassie~ we hope to talk to you soon, but until then we hope you can feel the strength and hope we're sending your way. Cooper is safe. He is calm. He can finally breath! And one day he will run into your arms again. We love you.

Mindi, you truly have a gift with words. If any of the extended Kirk family reads this, I hope they know of all our love and prayers for them at this time. We too are here to help in any way we can. Love, Your cousin Natalie

Live. Laugh. Love.

About McKay

Mr. McKay is a miracle. He was diagnosed with a soup of congenital heart defects while still in utero including: double inlet left ventricle (DILV), Transposition of the Great Arteries (TGA), a large ASD which has now been modified to create a single atrium, pulmonary atresia, and dextrocardia. He has undergone a series of three open heart surgeries to reroute his plumbing into a flow more likely to meet his growing body's demand for oxygen. He is post BT Shunt (August 22, 2008) and post-Glenn (November 25, 2008), and most recently traveled cross country to have the Fontan procedure at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (July 9, 2010). Today, McKay is a growing near-three-year old challenged with developmental hurdles we are anxiously trying to help him overcome. McKay offers heart baby hope of the most robust proportions. This blog chronicles our adventures.