Monday, November 29, 2010

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda...

In this phase of my life I find myself reflecting on decisions and choices over the last days, months, and even years... The only constant in my life these days are my loving family and my great job. And they have both been lifesavers! However, I am nowhere near where I wanted to be or even thought I'd be at this point.

I am separated, living with family, and turning to food way more than I should, and frankly more than I even want to... It's just such a habit even still. I have gained a lot of the weight back and that is BEYOND frustrating. I'm so mad at myself for allowing food to continue to control me. I should be SO much further than this in my journey.

But then I stop and think... In the last year or so since being on Dr. Oz I've moved three times, lost my job, got a new job, had two family members in the hospital due to serious illness, separated from my husband, had to give my dog to a new owner, and downsize all of my belongings into 4 storage tubs and some reusable bags... Not an easy year by any stretch of the imagination, but it certainly could have been worse.

How do I get past the urge to eat when my life feels out of control. Even though several of those life events were due to choices I made, the ramifications had lasting effects and even a few unknown consequences. Not that I'd change any of those choices, but I would change my reaction to the stress and emotion of it all.

The last four and a half weeks specifically have been very tough on my eating. I've been living in a transition of sorts as I figure out what I'm doing and of course, eating out has been a LOT easier than trying to plan, shop, and cook. However, I feel like crap, and I'm gaining weight and I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!

So today I'm taking back my health and wellness! I'm writing down everything that goes in my mouth. I'm being planful and taking the necessary few minutes to ensure that I'm prepared for snack attacks and boredom. I'm going to go for a walk/jog tonight too and I'm actually looking forward to it. :)

2 comments:

ive had my moments where i slip and eat out of sadness anger etc but when the food is gone i felt full and empty at the same time we fall down we make mistakes were human but we pick ourselves back up and keep going and i have no doubt your gonna keep going and you will be even more fabulous than you are now so yes u can do it nena

Hi Amy,I hope you are doing well and getting through the season. I am sorry to read of all your struggles. I have been there and I know it is not easy to stay on plan and go on in the midst of the drama of our lives - but we do get better if we stay honest and reach for help when we are falling off the cliff. Hope you will keep coming back!Jane~KeepingthePoundsOff.com

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Thank you Dr. Oz!

This blog is to chronicle my journey to health. I was recently invited to be a guest on the Dr. Oz show after writing a letter expressing how inspired I was by Nancy Schuessler (also a recent guest of the show).

Nancy lost over 220 pounds on her own following Dr. Oz's plan outlined in his book "YOU: On a Diet". I felt such a connection with Nancy's story, it was like reading my life story, but with the ending I have always dreamed of and never thought possible.

Dr. Oz and his staff are working with me to get from my current state of morbid obesity to the healthy and happy woman I was meant to be. They surprised me by bringing Nancy along to be my Coach. She is so incredible! I felt an immediate sense of sister-hood with her, and I know our bond is one that is not only unique and special, but is also God given.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rambling thoughts, daily struggles, and attempt to overcome the most difficult area of my life -- food addiction. I cannot express how much all the support means to me!