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Re: why is Bf a 6 month old a bad thing??!!!

Originally Posted by paint-the-moon

Or act like they are complimenting you when they ask if you are still nursing your baby ... wear a huge smile and respond, "Yes, isn't it wonderful!"

This was always my favorite response to such comments. I would let my whole face just light up, as if someone had given me a lovely and unexpected compliment -- then I would gently share that yes, we were still breastfeeding, and I felt so lucky that we could do it this long, since it is so healthy for both of us.

I'm sure that it is hurtful to hear criticisms, and I was fortunate that nobody was ever outright rude to me, and that everyone close to me was supportive or at least not negative about my breastfeeding. I think that responding to ignorant comments in a way that reflects the joy and pride you have in nursing your baby is a wonderful way to promote breastfeeding in the quarters where that promotion is most needed. Also, if you are dealing with a person who is just determined to make you feel bad or attacked, you deny them that pleasure if you don't get angry or defensive.

I would also just mention to everyone reading this thread that there is an entire board devoted to "Dealing with Criticism," down a ways on the main index page. That board is a wonderful place to get support for these kinds of situations.

Re: why is Bf a 6 month old a bad thing??!!!

Originally Posted by justin's mama

My MIL told me when my son was 4 months old that he was fat & she couldn't believe the dr. hadn't put him on a diet yet.

My own response to this did not involve a breastfeeding criticism, but it did involve a parent-in-law. When my father-in-law (a doctor) called to congratulate me on my son's birth, he felt it necessary to comment on the baby's size in a negative way. My son weighed 9 lbs. 1 oz. at birth, and my FIL cautioned me that being so large at birth made it quite likely (his words) that he would be obese as he grew up.

Fortunately, I had read enough to know instantly that he was simply factually wrong, and so his comment did not make me worry. But it really did hurt me -- perhaps because I had heard criticisms from him and my MIL for years already about my own weight. I just thought it was awful that instead of congratulating me for managing to give birth to such a big healthy boy, he had to tell me in our very first conversation that he was concerned that my son would be obese.

I made a decision right then and there that when it came to my children, I would not allow my respect for my elders to override my children's need to be protected from hurtful and unfounded remarks. My MIL pulled the same crap on my stepson shortly afterwards -- he was going through his pre-teen growth spurt, and like a lot of boys, he pudged out a bit before he shot up. When I heard she had nagged him to lose weight, I bawled out both of my parents-in-law, respectfully but firmly, within earshot of my stepson.

It's a shame that the very people who ought to love and spoil their grandbabies feel the need to tear them down (and us in the process). But, looking at this difficulty as an opportunity, I think it is also wonderful that motherhood gives us women an opportunity to find our backbones and stand up for ourselves and our children.

Re: why is Bf a 6 month old a bad thing??!!!

Originally Posted by justin's mama

I ran into a girl I know, whose parenting I have never agreed with (smoking the entire 9 months she was pg) said, "you're nursing? Why would you do that to yourself?" I calmly replied, "Because it's the best gift/nutrition that I can give to my little girl!!"
I wanted to say, "how could you have smoked the entire time you were pg? HOw could I not give her the healthiest thing on the planet for her??

I heard on the news recently that 70% of pregnant women are planning to breastfeed. My DH and I were discussing the other 30%. IMHO, why won't you want to? My DH suggest the women who cannot wait to get back to their drinking/drugs/smoking.

Re: why is Bf a 6 month old a bad thing??!!!

People are soooo insensitive when it comes to breastfeeding. When my son was 6 months old, I came down with a raging case of stomach/intestinal flu. Because he would not take a bottle (even with breastmilk), we watched the situation closely, and I ended up having to make a trip to the ER (with baby in tow) for fluids & glucose. My mother-in-law says to my husband "Well, what the heck is she doing breastfeeding anyway?" What did she suggest? Letting him starve?

Re: why is Bf a 6 month old a bad thing??!!!

I feel very lucky to live outside of Boulder, Colorado - Hippietown, USA... Here I feel like you're frowned upon if feeding a baby a bottle of formula in public. It is VERY common to see women BFing older toddlers in public... so common, I can't imagine people getting criticism for it... in town, at least. But, six month babies who were nursing wouldn't even be noticed, I think. When BFing didn't work out past 4 and 6 months with my oldest kids, I actually felt judged and paranoid feeling bottles out in public.

On the other hand, my husband's family is from Tennessee, and his family (mother especially) is not very supportive of BFing, whatsoever, and thinks kids needs to start eating solids at 2 months. (It's almost like a contest... "Well, so-in-so's kid started cereal at THREE WEEKS! Isn't that GREAT?") And, I can't tell you how many times my mother-in-law has told me that my husband's sister-in-law has "BAD MILK". It makes me wonder what she says about my BFign behind my back.

Re: why is Bf a 6 month old a bad thing??!!!

I feel very lucky to live outside of Boulder, Colorado - Hippietown, USA... Here I feel like you're frowned upon if feeding a baby a bottle of formula in public.

I live in Oregon, and the breastfeeding rate is higher here than in some other states.

86% breastfeed at all and 53% are bfing at 6 months. Pretty cool huh?

I have been asked on several occasions why I chose to feed my daughter formula... (which incidently is also no one's business). The favorite reply I've seen but not used for that question is "The whiskey mixes in easier." I think some of the comments you get can depend on geographic location.

Also, a side note, in Nebraska they have nursing lounges (nice, big ones) in the mall and expectant mother parking, but their bf rates are lower than Oregon! I have never seen a nursing mothers lounge in Oregon. Granted, I am sheltered, so maybe paint-the-moon can clarify. What is up with that?

Re: why is Bf a 6 month old a bad thing??!!!

It may be the Bronx girl in me, but when did it become ok for people to give their unsolicited opinion about something that has nothing to do with them? Even my best friend wouldn't ask or comment out of respect. I give them the good old Bronx cheer (For the moderator's sake, I won't describe it)

Re: why is Bf a 6 month old a bad thing??!!!

Originally Posted by britebow

Also, a side note, in Nebraska they have nursing lounges (nice, big ones) in the mall and expectant mother parking, but their bf rates are lower than Oregon! I have never seen a nursing mothers lounge in Oregon. Granted, I am sheltered, so maybe paint-the-moon can clarify. What is up with that?

Hey, britebow. No, I've never seen a nursing lounge either ... and definitely not expectant mother parking (and believe me, when I was pregnant I looked!). If you go to a nice mall (especially in Portland) they will have a "Women's Lounge" which is always nice to nurse in. It's usually in the Nordstrom, Macy's or other high end department store, but it's not actually the mall's lounge (although any woman can use it). They've got couches and it's very private, it is connected to the restroom but then that is to be expected. So, I guess I should revise that answer and say, yes, I've seen them ... they aren't strictly "Nursing" lounges ... but then they aren't "Bottle Feeding" lounges either! As far as the parking ... I think they should also have "Mother's With Small Babies and Lots of Groceries to Carry By Herself" parking too!

Mama to Adeline Brett, breastfed for 4.5 years (12/14/05) and little Eliza June, new tiny sprite in my arms and still learning the ropes (7/18/10)

Family Blog • If I'm here I'm nursing and typing one handed ... forgive the typos!
And I'm not a newbie at all ... I'm trying to get my old user ID working from back in the day ... paint-the-moon

Re: why is Bf a 6 month old a bad thing??!!!

lukes mom...I am sitting here with my jaw hanging open, absolutely appalled that someone would put ANYTHING in your child's mouth! I would flip out if someone did that with my 3 and 4 year olds, forget about my 3 month old! What is WRONG with people???

I also live in Colorado and while I have received a few disgruntled looks and been in restaurants where people asked to be reseated when they realized what I was doing, I have never had anyone confront me directly about my nip. Honestly, I kind of wish someone would. I am just FULL of come backs, research and laws that I could quote.