For my own personal taste as a composition there is just too much going on harmonically/melodically that is different from each other. Every part of the track feels like it’s playing a different tune. I understand you probably wrote this as an “experimental” track but I don’t think the AJ buyers would be looking for this that much.

A couple things to maybe improve the track is to find a little more common ground musically between the parts. Only allow hints of dissonance between a few parts and also play with the panning on this a bit to give parts their own “space” in the mix. As it is most of the focal parts of the mix are occupying the middle of the mix which causes even more clashing. Ok I hope this is helpful. All the best.