USA Characters

This page is essentially a depository for information on USA characters too minor to merit their own page at the moment, but who nonetheless deserve a description of some sorts on the wiki. As canon accumulates, some characters will become significant enough to earn their own page.

Helpful hint: To link to a character on here, use [[USA Characters#Character name as exactly appears here|Character name as you want it to appear]]

Characters With Their Own Pages

Government

Elected Officials

President Dolan Trump

Jesus Christ. Seriously? This guy?

The USA's first pumpkin president (although he sometimes puts on yellow makeup to appeal to his racist, deplorable voters), he ran on a platform of racism, sexism, grabbing women by the pussy, building Death Walls, and generally running the country into the ground. He is also noted for his fake toupee and small hands, as well as a bad habit of writing his every thought and insult on Twatter.

Senator Rand Paul

Rand Paul is a USA Senator and also an Undersecretary-General of the Allied Nations under Secretary-General Mobfather Scratch.

Celestial Intelligence Agency

Director Randolph

Aaron Randolph has been the director of the Celestial Intelligence Agency for the past 14 G.R.s.

State Department

Secretary Carter

Jackson Carter Jr. may have a foul mouth and a bad temperament, but there is no one more qualified for the Secretary of State position than him.

Ambassador Qayes

Having doctorates in both physics and international relations, Qayes was part of the very small pool of the few state department employees that could replace his predecessor as USA Ambassador to Trattoria. Unfortunately for him, when the time came to choose he drew the short straw.

Owens

The Deputy Assistant Secretary of the Bureau of Trattorian Affairs, he often handles the work too dirty or mundane to get involved in. Had a history of working with Agent Lund on operations regarding Trattoria.

Military

Admiral Horiuchi

A long career in the Navy finds Theodore Horiuchi as the current Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, supervising the Army, Navy, Marines, Coast Guard, and Military Intelligence.

Admiral Bowman

The youngest member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Alessandro Bowman is the daughter of an Eldorrian migrant worker and an American Accountant. She began her illustrious career with Military intelligence at the age of 20. Despite having ever opportunity to retire early after having her eye gouged out while undercover she chose to remain. Her work dismantling terrorist groups and rouge nations(and legitimate nations too) has not only proven that she made the right choice, but also that she is more than deserving of her spot at the top of military intelligence.

Other

Chief of Staff Williams

An old friend of President Obama from his Chicago Days, Lev Williams is the first Peach to ever hold the position of White House Chief of Staff.

Sandra Paylin

Civilians

Retired

Former Vice President "Diamond" Joe Biden

A respected politician, entrepreneur, and beer pong aficionado from the Delaware System, Joseph Biden was Obama's running mate in the past two elections. Double Barrel Joe's official duties include presiding over the senate, being first in the executive line of succession and selling the president weed.

Former Speaker John Boehner

Boehner is both the Speaker of the house of representatives and the first sweet potato to serve in U.S. congress.

Deceased

Agent Lund

Lund was once one of the C.I.A.'s top field agents, and lead missions involving espionage, subterfuge, and illicit intelligence gathering. He was one of the few Americans to have been to The Reef. Agent Lund was killed by VOL warriors during a skirmish with Immortal forces.

Pleb Bush

Pleb Bush, better known as Pleb!, belongs to the Bush family of presidents and was a former governor of Florida. He ran for USA president in 2016, but due to his low energy he was soundly defeated by Dolan Trump. He died while escorting a federal prisoner and being ambushed by Immortal forces. His greatest and most well known achievement in life was selling guac bowls.