Been a while since I've been on. Needed to vent to those who truly understand what I'm going through.
Just started a new job- a dream job for me. I chose to ignore the thoughts that nagged me before I started. The thoughts that consisted of wondering how long it would take for me to have some health related problem and they would notice that something wasn't just right. Or the fact that my Fibro Fog prevents me from learning quickly, understanding new information that I'm being bombarded with or that I tend to look like I was out partying all night even though I was in bed trying to get some decent sleep. Every so often my limitations jump up to slap me in the face so that I never forget that any hope that I have of recovering and becoming successful is a fantasy. I was able to pull myself together for the first few weeks of my new job but its starting now. I am depressed because of this. I push, push, push and refuse to acknowledge my limitations. And then it catches up to you. Wish I could find that balance of getting things done and resting appropriately instead of manically trying to be superwoman all the time.

Well my dear, we all push ourselves, the key is to ask yourself some hard questions to find out exactly why you are doing it. You mentioned denial as being a factor. Why don't you want to admit that you have limitations? Do you believe that you have to have everything in life such as a dream job in order to be happy? Do you fear rejection because you are not perfect (no one is) or perhaps poverty. I push myself in order to have contact with people and not become bored and depressed. I'm learning however that I can have a lot of fun at home doing creative things and learning new skills that doesn't involve pushing too hard. Right now I am writing a novel. I've never tried it before and it's a riot. It doesn't matter if it ever get published or not, I'm enjoying and learning and my bf is proud of me. I have no time-line, I just do a little at a time. Many blessings!

Hi Cher - I know you've been fighting symptoms for a while. Have you found any relief at all? I just read something about recent research to help with sleep problems! They found that cooling the brain helps insomniacs get more normal sleep. Works better than drugs, supposedly, if someone wears a "cooling cap" all night. It's the frontal lobes that need cooling, so maybe try a cold pac on your forehead (with a towel to protect your skin). I tried sleeping with some eye goggles that you can freeze - and I think they helped! I woke up once that night, when they had thawed out. I am going to try again though, with a towel and a pack of frozen peas or some kind of cold pac that lasts longer. (Maybe get a small fridge in my bedroom with a supply of cold pacs to last the night? LOL!)

As for the fibro fog, that really is a problem. If you think you aren't going to be able to continue, maybe you should talk to a doctor about disability? It would give you a cushion - and I believe you can still work, as much as you can tolerate, and at jobs you can tolerate. (Vocational rehab can help you find something appropriate and doable.) Plus, the people who hire you will know you have a disability and there are laws to protect against discrimination. You know, you cannot burn the candle at both ends for too long. Better to preserve what health you have and take care of yourself.