Mother’s Day this year was quite different than last year’s. Actually, different than any of them. I don’t know if it’s that I chose to stay busy and not think too much about what Mother’s Day has meant in the past to me, or dare I say I’m slowly healing from infertility. The only thing I didn’t do was go to church. I still can’t do that on Mother’s Day. Baby steps, I guess.

Since I prefer to think if this as my Mother’s Day weekend extravaganza, it all started Friday when Chris took off work for the day so I could go shopping at the outdoor outlet mall with my sister, mom, cousin, aunt and grandma. I got a crazy good deal on a Kate Spade bag that can double as an impromptu diaper bag, and I may have brought home some watermelon shorts for Olivia from Old Navy. Meanwhile, Chris and Olivia hung out in the back yard because it was in the 70s and beautiful.

Later, we all went the dollar store and I loaded Olivia up with cheap toys, including ones to put in her homemade water table this summer.

We spent Saturday at the zoo, just the three of us for our own Mother’s Day outing, before it was spent with the crazy busyness of relatives the next day. I knew she was still recovering from her illness, but she was a trooper and had a blast. We got there ten minutes before it opened, and Olivia explored the little pond with Chris.

We had a beautiful day. Olivia loved the monkeys and watching the seal swim around in the outdoor enclosure.

It’s just so much fun seeing her so excited over all the animals. She’s at such a great age that everything to her is amazing and worth pointing at.

(Plus, she was in her first pair of baby capris, so you can’t get much more adorable than that.)

We stopped so Mama could grab a pretzel and cheese and Ollie could snack on her crackers and, well, Mama’s pretzel and cheese. It’s the only thing I could afford in a world of $9.00 hamburgers.

On our way out of the zoo, we saw the tortoises were having their 100th birthday, complete with banner, party hats, and their own “cake” of watermelon slices. It struck me that these were the not only the very turtles that I grew up with since childhood, but ones my mom saw when she was a kid and visited this zoo.

Afterwards, we made the hike (good thing we had pretty trees to look at) to the lake to walk around once before heading back home.

It’s safe to say the day was a success. Olivia was so tired she actually didn’t care in the least that we took photos of her mid nap in the car.

Later, after her nap, I harvested the rhubarb in our backyard for a pie and Chris played with Olivia with a bucket of ice cubes. Kids are so simple.

And my Rhubarb Custard Pie turned out delicious, even if it wasn’t the most attractive. I had just enough rhubarb for it.

Sunday, Mother’s Day, I woke up and Chris and Olivia gave me a card and a gift certificate for a massage at my favorite spa. My only spa, I should say, and one I haven’t been to in years. I’m so excited. I NEED this massage. We got her down for a morning nap successfully since we had to be at my grandparents’ at noon, and she was going to forgo her usual single afternoon nap.

Olivia’s appetite still hasn’t been the greatest since she was sick last week, so she only ate some bites of the lunch (grilled burgers, quinoa salad, beans, chips and dip) I shared with her. But oh she loved being outside. We luckily grabbed some pictures before she was done with life in general. The smiles weren’t there, but that’s ok.

Pictures just weren’t her thing that day and that’s cool. Because she also wore this adorable romper and had a blast getting dirty out in the backyard. I don’t know. The sweaty hair and smudges really appeal to her toddler side and remind me that she’s growing into this little person.

I do spot one lingering thigh crease, so she can still be my baby for a bit longer, mmm kay?

I got my own mama a cute Guess purse (of course there are no pictures) which I almost kept for myself, but I’m a good daughter, so I relinquished it.

We got home around 4:30, but I really wanted some pictures in front of the lilacs like we got last year out in our own backyard, and luckily she was mostly cooperative, as long as I let her have her comb.

So overall, I can report back to you all that Mother’s Day was good. It wasn’t all out fantastic without a care in the world, because I think infertility has jaded me on that, but it was good. I spent less time focused on my past and more time in the Present, so I call that a win. Plus, it’s almost impossible to be grieving when this little girl is here in my life, smiling and babbling and giving me the best hugs. It’s the best form of healing.

I think that’s the main thing that can bring us down, is focusing on the past and not enjoying the ‘right now’ enough ya know? I remind myself every single day to just fully enjoy that sweet boy of mine and life in general in this very moment. Nothing can be changed about the past but we can make the effort and choice to enjoy each new day we are given. Don’t let the past sadness and struggle rob you of the joy you have now with your beautiful family 🙂 Celebrate being a mama ever day!!! Ok now back… Read more »

We do one day for us, one for the extended families too. It’s a nice tradition. My oldest is 6 and, as I commented on a previous post, I still can’t go to church on Mother’s Day. At this point, I think this will just be a day we skip and I’m not going to feel bad about it. Something about that experience brings back all the infertility pain, more than anything else. As it is, I found myself a weepy mess at my daughter’s homemade kindergarten presents. I will never forget that I believed for so long I would… Read more »

You know what? For anninfertility survivor, this sounds like it was an awesome day. Sure, there were likely those moments when the familiar pain and anxiety came in, but overall I’d say that you guys rocked this day. And I’m so glad you were able to.