A Divided Country: BLUE STATES SAY LET THE RED STATES SECEDE...PLEASE!!!!

Here's how it would work, in a letter from the Blue States:

Dear Red States:

We've learned that you want to SECEDE, so we're very glad to give you your wish. Go ahead and form your own country, because those in the blue states will be much betteroff without you.

But you might want to consider the following before you let the door shut on your sorry assesand in case your geography knowledge isn't any better than your spelling, the blue states includeHawaii, Oregon, Washington, California, Minnesota, Wisconsin,Michigan, Illinois and all of the Northeast. (We believe Indiana will vote BLUE on this issue. Florida will, too.)

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states; we get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty; you get Opry Land. We get Harvard; you get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs; you get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to try to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's we get a bunch of happy families; you get a bunch of single moms.

Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners). 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all livingredwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson. and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11. and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

We get the good pot too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,

The Blue States.

_________________

"Behind every great fortune lies a great crime."Honore de Balzac

"Democrats work to help people who need help. That other party, they work for people who don't need help. That's all there is to it."~Harry S. Truman