9/11/01

I remember like it was yesterday.....I was off duty. I drove my bike to the firehouse for a cup of coffee. It was a beautiful day, clear, sunny, almost peacful. It took me only 5 minutes to get there and in that time the first plane had hit. The TV was on, which is rare after 8am. I walked through the door and asked what was going on and they told me. Just then the second plane hit and I knew the first one wasnt an accident. I watched in horror and pride knowing that our brothers of the FDNY were on the job, and if any department anywhere could handle this, it would be them. Then the towers came down. Not being an overly religious person I said a silent prayer and went home so I could watch the rest of the day unfold. I called my wife, who was 6 months pregnant, and told her what was going on. She said she knew and was coming home.

To this day I still feel deep sadness in my heart. For the families of the 343. Losing a loved one isnt easy. My department was one of the 65% that had nothing planned for the second anniversary. I am not proud of that fact. So being the web master of our site I added my own memorial. It made me and other members feel better but still wasnt enough to make it right. For that I apologize.

I can tell you this. My Dept. sent a group of FF's to the WTC as soon as they could. I didn't go because I'm not on the rescue team. They held a memorial about a week after 9-11-01, I attended, but it wasn't enough. My Dept. had plans for both anniv. of 9-11, I felt that wasn't enough. I went to NYC in Oct. of 2002 for the FDNY memorial day, and carried one of the american flags in the march to the gardens. I stopped by countless firehouses while there and offerd my thanks as well as my regrets, yet it still was not enough for me. Then I realized that all I could do, the most important thing of all, was to remember. You have done that, and that speaks volumes. You have nothing to apologize for.