Sad dog is sad because, well, nature gave her a fur coat in the shape of a penis… directly on her chest!

We wish we could sit this dog down (Sit! Good dog!) so we could explain to her that she should be proud of who she is, regardless of the giant, furry, phallic image on her chest. She's a beautiful dog, with a beautiful heart!

Besides, Austin Powers made is suuuper cool to have penis-shaped chest hair, as you can see (below)!

Plus it isn't the first time someone has had a furry phallus on their chest anyway, and we'll be damned if it turns out to be the last.

Now who wants to play fetch instead of talking about dongs?? LOLz!

NSFW pic AFTER THE JUMP!!!

P.S. — Here's a dog that DOESN'T have something hilarious on its chest!

"Why don't you tell the world what you were doing during my entire Fox & Friends hit? Oh I know, chewing on her damn bone as loud as she possibly could. So I had to kick her about five times during the show."