]]>Grief and Self CareGrief and the grieving process moves us beyond the rawness and pain to inner spaces where courage, strength and creativity can grow. We live in a world that all too often triggers strong emotion.No matter the sources or our intellectual understanding or explanations of higher purpose, we are human and need to develop the capacity to meet life experience in ways that do not collapse, numb or “rigidify” us.

Grief and Self care Require Honoring All Experience
It is tempting to sidestep our uncomfortable feelings but if our emotional responses to life are left incomplete they become an invisible source of stress. Incomplete emotional expression blocks and drains our energy. We end up feeling fragmented, disconnected, empty, separate or we simply have a sense of being out of kilter somehow without really knowing why.

It is healthy to be aware where we hurt and identify our feelings. This helps to define needs and create good boundaries. It can also help separate unhealthy reactivity from deeper, truer emotions that point to the doorway of our authentic selves. In order for this to happen there must be a space made, opened and honored so that all aspects of our experience are given form, healed and released.

Grief and Self Care Includes Having Tools to ManageHere are some tips for managing grief whether large or small. It is best to not judge actually if some experience is large or small. The importance is whether it mattered to you and had an effect on you.

1. Honor your experience by speaking or writing it out. Telling your story, honestly stating how it is/was for you without laundering it into what you think is acceptable, is crucial. Experience needs to be claimed and witnessed in order to be processed and released. The witnessing, whether by yourself or with another, is best if it is nonjudgmental and compassionate!

2. Engage in a spiritual practice. Practices that help you connect with aspects larger than your ego self help make you feel that you CAN hold all your experience and not be shattered by it. Later you will realize that you can feel it AND let it go; this will give you more ability to feel what is there with courage because you can trust that you do not have to feel it forever.

Spiritual practice also helps you to not feel so empty or isolated. It can provide an infusion of loving, supportive energy that assists you and holds you up when you cannot do it all alone.

3. Seek out others who have been through similar situations. Sharing your experience, weaknesses and strengths is very healing. Both giving and receiving are a part of the natural flow of life. ..a core expression and rhythm of love.

4. Take breaks in your process. Especially if your grief is a large one, it is crucial to the process to give it both active and receptive attention. It is okay to let things rest and gestate for a time.

5. Provide an outlet for release of all thoughts, emotions and beliefs that have been stored up as a result of this loss for you. Create rituals, use intentions that help you to not only uncover and articulate but also for the letting go part.

6. Channel your energy into something positive. One family channeled grief about the loss of a child into a foundation that now raises money for research into childhood illnesses. Another family is honoring the memory of their child by funding a house for families to stay nearby when their sick children are hospitalized. These are two wonderful examples of turning grief into positive action to process the grief and honor the past while improving the situation for others.

7. See a professional grief counselor if you feel that your grieving process has gone on too long or you feel stuck. A professional can help you reclaim your Self.

Grief and self care go hand in hand for a healthy life. Even as you experience grief, know that you are OK… feel that in spite of the pain! Allow yourself to feel the sadness, despair and loss. Develop a ritual to experience letting it go when it is time, then purposefully move on. We are meant to grieve, but not forever!

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]]>http://karenkallie.com/grief-and-self-care/feed/0182988 Steps for Releasing Judgementshttp://karenkallie.com/8-steps-releasing-judgment/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss
http://karenkallie.com/8-steps-releasing-judgment/#respondFri, 16 Feb 2018 11:00:07 +0000http://livingenergyworks.com/blog/?p=1598Judgements…we all have them…projecting them out but also turning them in on ourselves. In some ways judging is a habit. It is also a signal to look deeper at some insecurity, shame or guilt that may be driving the urge to judge. Suspending Judgements: Stress Management for the body, Mind and Soul Try these ideas […]

]]>Judgements…we all have them…projecting them out but also turning them in on ourselves. In some ways judging is a habit. It is also a signal to look deeper at some insecurity, shame or guilt that may be driving the urge to judge.

Suspending Judgements: Stress Management for the body, Mind and Soul

Try these ideas on for just one day and see how you feel…

1. Notice when judgements come up for you. Notice the themes of your judgments.

2. As you go along or at the end of the day make a list of what judgements you noticed.

3. How do you feel when you are judging, after?

4. What information is there for you about yourself?

5. Are your judgements telling you about something you are missing or wanting?

6. Is there another way to view the people, events or situation you judged?

7. What does this tell you about what qualities you want to strengthen or build?

8. What skills or techniques can you practice to help you get there?

As you become more conscious and aware of how your “lower” mind creates judgements, you can practice shifting into a more open energetic state of surrender and acceptance … letting go and accepting things as they are in the present, in the here and now…the more you allow an open free flow of energy, the easier it will be to release negativity of all kinds!

To accept things as they are requires entering a state of surrender and being fully present allowing what is to be without comment.

Our series, 12 Keys for Life and Self Mastery, is a complete approach to clearing and quieting your mind, aligning your energy and raising your vibration. The series can be purchased as a set or individual sessions are also available for download.

Click here to learn more about this comprehensive Mind/Body/spirit program: www.karenkallie.com/shop?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss

]]>http://karenkallie.com/8-steps-releasing-judgment/feed/01598Grief Can be the First Step to Power that Healshttp://karenkallie.com/tragedy-loss-grief-heart-cracked-open/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss
http://karenkallie.com/tragedy-loss-grief-heart-cracked-open/#respondThu, 15 Feb 2018 12:00:46 +0000http://karenkallie.com/?p=15737

Reflection-LesAndelys

Paying attention to how we respond in times of grief, loss and tragedy helps us and the world!

]]>Grief: When the Heart Cracks Open
The grief in our world seems to have reached gargantuan proportions. It seems we are being stretched to accommodate enormous pain on one hand, but on another we can embrace our compassion and channel it to fuel a strength that informs effective action. We can use it to define what is the part that each of us must play in bringing about change to shift the insanity, lack of integrity and violence that has erupted so mightily in our world. Facing and processing our grief is the first step.

Violence, dishonesty, greed and lack of integrity are dis-empowered positions. Processing reactions of grief and outrage allow a return to a centered position where effective action can emerge.

Grief has many faces and phases. When we are present to our grief and process it in healthy ways it can lead to informed action that can bring about needed change. If we are blinded by our grief we may not take inspired action but flail around in ill thought out and ineffective action.

Grief has many faces
There are places in the world where violence, conflict and inhuman acts are daily fare. Until recently it was a fairly rare occurrence for most (not all) who live in the west. When loss, tragedy, or natural disasters hit closer to home we become more sharply aware of the underbelly of humanity and experience the many facets of grief… shock, revulsion, denial, overwhelm, avoidance, rationalization, rage, anger, sadness, hurt or a collapse into despair and helplessness.We may feel one, all or a combination of these feelings depending on our inner make-up and the phase of the process we are in. During times of trouble there is also much compassion, heroism and a heartfelt desire to help and alleviate suffering…a generosity of spirit that emerges.

The enormity of some events can lead to a kind of reactivity where we become lost and stuck with feelings that seem to have nowhere to go. It is easy to miss or not identify the opening to our authentic nature that is present and offered at this time. Moving into this space even if we are unsure of the benefit can help move us out of the helplessness, despair dis-empowerment. Why bother with what can seem like a lofty idea in times of duress? The answer is because it offers a more lasting inner strength and resiliency for not only this moment but for all the difficult life moments that may visit us at some point in the future. Without this kind of connection even helping and giving can result in burnout and a lingering inner numbness or emptiness once the event has past.

Unexplored TerritoryWith tragedy or disasters our attention necessarily is on what needs to be done NOW. And that is a good thing as it helps mitigate some of the energy that would get stuck in our systems if we did not have an outlet for action. But that now moment passes or perhaps we are removed enough that no action is possible or necessary. In that case we can get stuck with a lot of energy/emotion that has been activated but has nowhere to go….not a healthy situation for us. Many think that time takes care of situations like this but it is not how we are wired. We need to move energy/emotion that has been activated.

Our reactions to grief tell us a lot about how we have learned to protect ourselves and survive. Our responses to situations that trigger grief tend to be founded on our learned defenses, level of emotional intelligence and spiritual development. Consciousness regarding ourselves in these areas provides opportunities for growth into a more free and balanced way of living in the world.

Learning to be more effective with managing our energy/emotions is no small thing when we consider how things really change for us as individuals and for the world at large…through growth in consciousness by individuals making up groups that then become a groundswell of new worldviews and perspectives.

Grief : The Face or the Underbelly?
Grief has many faces. It is tempting to jump on the bandwagon of the intellect as a way of avoiding painful emotions. Looking for meaning too early can become a form of spiritual bypass that does not contribute to living more honestly from the heart. Looking to ideals, unidentified habitual defenses or a desire to return to a previous time can not only leave us empty but also ill prepared to deal with what we need that would serve us well in the present and future.

Asking questions such as,” What comes up for me in the face of loss? How do I relate to those feelings?” can help us connect more deeply and lovingly with ourselves, process grief appropriately and move on.
Asking “How do I relate to grief and what may lie beneath it?” is a challenging question that may require sitting in a well of silence learning to be present without resistance to discomfort long enough to become informed from the inside out.

The question “What is needed to process this grief and other emotions that may be triggered by it?” connects us more profoundly with ourselves and leads to greater meaning than any to be had through the commonplace platitudes so often offered.

Being human is hard sometimes! Reaching for our spiritual nature and blending it with our humanness is a growing edge that brings out the best in us so we may bring it to the world.
Facing deeper spaces within can feel awkward at first but ultimately it helps to bring us more in touch with our authentic nature. Within that space resides a depth and breadth of love, compassion and kindness for us that then can ripple out to others.

]]>http://karenkallie.com/tragedy-loss-grief-heart-cracked-open/feed/015737Self Love: The Forgotten Commandment! Happy Valentine’s Dayhttp://karenkallie.com/happy-valentines-day/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss
http://karenkallie.com/happy-valentines-day/#respondWed, 14 Feb 2018 11:00:28 +0000http://livingenergyworks.com/blog/?p=8408We naturally turn our thoughts to love on this day, but they may not always be thoughts that strengthen and enliven us! Memories of those lost, past hurts, loneliness etc. can take center stage rather than the warmth and candy hearts that we would wish for. Being conscious

]]>“You are not here to love the world; you are here to be love in the world.”

Grace Johnston

We naturally turn our thoughts to love on this day. Having such a dayis wonderful and reminds us of how we can bring more of those feelings to every day! Loving thoughts strengthen and enliven us!

Unfortunately this may not be a happy day for everyone. Memories of those lost, of past hurts, a deep sense of loneliness or other difficult emotions may intensify on this day. The good news is that being conscious of these feelings can be the first step to shifting them and your mood to one that feels better and supports you. This can lead to a commitment to cultivating greater self- love.

Self- love is a journey. We do not arrive there in an instant but we can use difficult feelings and situations to bring us a step closer to that space filled with deep peace and contentment.

If you stop for a moment and think about all the various kinds of love you have felt in your life, you may notice that your energy rises. It may be that it comes down with the next memory but at least you became aware of the ability to shift out of one state into another. When we are conscious we are more at cause and feel less a victim of emotions that seem to arise out of nowhere.

By choosing to dwell on times when we were truly deeply loving from the strongest place within, we can not only raise our energy level but we also grow in the capacity to hold higher loving vibrations. And it feels so good that perhaps you will decide to feel it more often thus helping to bring a more consistently loving state to yourself and those around you.

Learning to experience love inside for no good reason frees us to be authentically ourselves…to love more openly and honestly no matter the outward circumstances of your life.

]]>http://karenkallie.com/happy-valentines-day/feed/08408Subtle Energy Drains: What You Need to Know About Boundarieshttp://karenkallie.com/subtle-energy-drains-energy-vampires/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss
http://karenkallie.com/subtle-energy-drains-energy-vampires/#respondMon, 12 Feb 2018 11:00:28 +0000http://livingenergyworks.com/blog/?p=5856Vampires may cruise and look for energy, but there has to be an entry point for them to hook and deplete us.

]]>Subtle Energy Drains: Recognizing Your Invitations
We’ve written here before about subtle energy drains and how to recognize them, but an equally important aspect to explore is how we invite these people, places or circumstances into our life.

A major issue to be considered when we are looking at where we lose energy is our own boundaries. People who act as subtle energy drains or energy vampires may cruise and look for energy, but there has to be an entry point for them to hook and deplete us. We all have life experience that have impacted our energy fields and so left us vulnerable. By looking at some of the circumstances or feelings we typically have we can begin to identify how we have been at risk for subtle energy drains and then be able to remedy them.

Do you find that you

Have a strong sensitivity to others’ feelings, moods, needs, or problems to the point of being overwhelmed by them

Are prone to excessive giving or people pleasing behavior

Have negative moods that overtake you but don’t seem to originate with you

Experience fatigue, exhaustion, anger, or resentment resulting from care taking where all energy goes out and nothing comes back

Often feel depression or feelings of heaviness or burden that are not really about you or your life

Often feel generalized anxiety, feelings of being edge, or a need to guard against danger for no real apparent reason

Other signs that an energy drain is at work

Situations that show recurring patterns of negativity or lack of success—this can show up with finances, relationships, or working conditions

Weak boundaries allow our energy to drain away with the result that we do not have the available energy to bring to these areas of our lives

Unresolved emotions from our past can result in energy leakage or leave openings for others to drain our energy away.

Our energy supply is our responsibility. We are the only ones who can heal and repair what is necessary so the circumstances of our lives become nourishing and supportive.

]]>http://karenkallie.com/subtle-energy-drains-energy-vampires/feed/05856Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT): A Pilot Study on Dental Anxietyhttp://karenkallie.com/emotional-freedom-technique/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss
http://karenkallie.com/emotional-freedom-technique/#respondFri, 09 Feb 2018 11:00:49 +0000http://karenkallie.com/?p=18266Emotional Freedom Technique is a method that I have found to be very effective in treating anxiety as well as many other problematic or overwhelming emotions. The study referred to below focused on dental anxiety which is something we can all probably relate to! From Energy Psychology Journal The Effect of Emotional Freedom Technique on […]

Emotional Freedom Technique is a method that I have found to be very effective in treating anxiety as well as many other problematic or overwhelming emotions. The study referred to below focused on dental anxiety which is something we can all probably relate to!

From Energy Psychology Journal

The Effect of Emotional Freedom Technique on Patients with Dental Anxiety: A Pilot Study

This pilot study explored the effectiveness of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) as a treatment for dental anxiety. Participants (N = 8) were dental patients with anxiety. Four were assigned to the experimental EFT group and four to a non-treatment control condition (reading a golf magazine). The intervention consisted of a variant of EFT involving tapping acupressure points without verbalizing cognitive affirmations. Participants were assessed using the STAI-S(sf), six questions from the State subset of the anxiety scale of the Spielberger State-Trait Anxiety Inventory to create the short form of the questionnaire. Each participant visualized being present in a dental chair while the researcher recounted aloud a list of dental triggers specific to each participant. The participant then completed the STAI assessment, followed by either the acupressure tapping intervention or reading a magazine (for the control group). After this one brief (four-minute) intervention or reading period, participants again listened to the list of their specific dental triggers read aloud and were then retested while again listening to their list of triggers. The mean STAI-S(sf) scores obtained by the control group before (x = 62) and after (x = 59) differed by only 3 points (–6%). In contrast, the mean STAI-S(sf) score obtained by the EFT group before tapping acupressure points (x = 72) dropped 26 points (x = 46, –35%). An ANOVA revealed a statistically significant within subjects main effect of Time (F = 6.76, p = .04), and a Treatment Group x Time interaction (F= 4.42, p = .08), which approached statistical significance. These data are consistent with previous EFT studies and a recent meta-analysis of EFT treatment for anxiety and phobias, and suggest that a very brief, one-session treatment of acupressure tapping can be effective in rapidly reducing dental anxiety.

]]>http://karenkallie.com/emotional-freedom-technique/feed/018266Burnout Prevention: Identifying Unconscious Blocks to Self Carehttp://karenkallie.com/burnout-prevention-unconscious-blocks/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss
http://karenkallie.com/burnout-prevention-unconscious-blocks/#respondWed, 07 Feb 2018 11:00:55 +0000http://karenkallie.com/?p=18254Burnout Prevention, Self Care and Time You may think that you don’t have time to care for yourself while caring for others. The reality is we don’t have time not to since a lack of self care will always lead to a depletion of inner resources. Identify Patterns to Prevent Burnout A typical pattern when care […]

]]>Burnout Prevention, Self Care and Time
You may think that you don’t have time to care for yourself while caring for others. The reality is we don’t have time not to since a lack of self care will always lead to a depletion of inner resources.

Identify Patterns to Prevent Burnout
A typical pattern when care giving is to go, go, go until we become depleted, crash and then are forced to recharge in order to begin again. We may even be aware of this pattern and feel that it’s okay. Sometimes when we are down and out, care finally comes to us, flowing in from a variety of sources. Finally, people may realize that we need attention too.

Another scenario is that we may be left alone thus creating the time needed to rebuild inner reserves and to re balance ourselves. The problem with this approach is (1) we have already entered a state that plays havoc with our health; (2) there is a tendency with this pattern to recharge and then once again begin the roller coaster ride so it is honestly not a solution.

Our lives do not have to be a roller coaster of ups and downs. We can create a fairly smooth path through life with a few simple tools and skills. It is possible to build an inner core of energy that can serve as our wellspring. ..a new calmer, less stressful center to live from.

Development of this core strength provides resilience and enables us to be more easily present to life and to others.

Being centered within this core allows us to maintain a healthier balance in all areas of life. As a result, we will be able to move forward with stamina and purpose, but also quietly retreat to nourish our mind, body and spirit when necessary.

Here is a brief ( 7 minutes) guided meditation that can serve as a stress reliever and first step on a new focus on self care and burnout prevention.

]]>http://karenkallie.com/burnout-prevention-unconscious-blocks/feed/018254Caregiver Burnout and the Power of Self Care http://karenkallie.com/caregiver-burnout-self-care/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss
http://karenkallie.com/caregiver-burnout-self-care/#respondMon, 05 Feb 2018 11:00:26 +0000http://karenkallie.com/?p=18253Caregiver Burnout is a Major Risk for Both the Professional and Personal Caregiver Caring for others, be it an elderly parent, a relative, a child, or a friend, is one of the highest forms of human service. However caring for others can mean that you set aside your desires and wishes for another day, a […]

]]>Caregiver Burnout is a Major Risk for Both the Professional and Personal Caregiver
Caring for others, be it an elderly parent, a relative, a child, or a friend, is one of the highest forms of human service. However caring for others can mean that you set aside your desires and wishes for another day, a day when you’ll have the luxury of time to spend on yourself. It is a day you may dream of and yearn for!

The Process of Caregiver Burnout Happens Gradually
In the meantime, you give and give and give. You begin to wear down and out. Energy and enthusiasm wanes as you become physically exhausted and emotionally drained. It may seem that the more you give, the more that is requested or required of you. It becomes harder to keep up and maintain your pace. Your nerves wear thin. You begin to do less and less for yourself. Periodically you wonder, “Where is there care for me?” You may begin to ask: “What’s happened to me, to my life?” Worse yet, you may feel guilty for having those thoughts!

Caregiver Resentment, fatigue and Burnout
A continuous outflow of energy through giving without refueling or replenishing yourself cannot possibly end up anywhere but in fatigue and burnout. It is then that resentment can set in not to mention damage to your own health. It is essential to stop and refuel in order to keep going with balanced goals of effective care and maintenance of your own health and well-being.

We are adaptable and it may seem that we can run on empty but the truth is that the bill for that will eventually come due. Good self care is truly the only way to assure a reserve of energy to care for others and remain healthy. Regular self care and self nurture is essential to create the inner resources that allow for a constant and even flow of energy for both you and the ones you love.

What is one change you could make today that would help bring more self-care into your day/week/month?

]]>http://karenkallie.com/caregiver-burnout-self-care/feed/018253Stress Reduction and Subtle Energy: 4 Tools for Changehttp://karenkallie.com/stress-reduction-subtle-energy-change/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss
http://karenkallie.com/stress-reduction-subtle-energy-change/#respondWed, 31 Jan 2018 11:00:26 +0000http://www.livingenergyworks.com/?p=13291Stress Reduction and Subtle Energy Competency are Central to Stress Responses Stress reduction and subtle energy competency begin with taking a look at our habitual patterns. We all have patterns that affect how we respond to stress and deplete our energy. These patterns are usually learned ways of protecting or defending ourselves,or ways we have […]

]]>Stress Reduction and Subtle Energy Competency are Central to Stress Responses
Stress reduction and subtle energy competency begin with taking a look at our habitual patterns. We all have patterns that affect how we respond to stress and deplete our energy. These patterns are usually learned ways of protecting or defending ourselves,or ways we have learned to exert our power and get what we need in life. Typically these patterns do not really serve us in our adult lives. These “ways of being” affect our experience of stress beginning at the level of our subtle energy bodies.

Stress Reduction and Subtle Energy Competency Begin with Awareness
Here are some questions that can help you begin to shift your energy throughout the day, establishing new patterns that will help you experience less stress.

What is your predominant emotional tone? How are you feeling in general?
Do you check in periodically with yourself and note how you are feeling and what your energy level is?
How we hold our energy affects our feelings and in turn our feelings affect our energy. Identifying you predominant emotional tone helps you to know whether you are adding or diminishing your energy reserves.

Is your breathing full and easy, bringing in lots of oxygen and energy?Our breathing is certainly affected by stress—it tends to become more shallow and centered high in our chest. However we also may simply have a pattern of shallow breathing that contributes to the overall experience of stress felt by the body and mind. Attention to our breath and practicing breathing properly helps to energize us as well as to keep our energy strong and flowing.

Stress Reduction and Subtle Energy Get an Assist From Emotional IntelligenceHow do different daily situations affect you? Which ones generate stress, anger, sadness, frustration?
Noticing our feelings as we move through our day gives us valuable information about ourselves and creates awareness of what needs attention for healing, expression or letting go. We may not be able to attend to the feelings in the moment but once noticed we can return to them and do what is necessary to be conscious advocates for ourselves in this life.

Do you take time to identify and release difficult feelings, thoughts, physical tensions from your system? Can you take time and create a space between a stressful event and your reaction? Would you like to be more responsive and less reactive?Having awareness is a first step to emotional intelligence and subtle energy competency. Having a full toolkit of techniques you can bring to your various needs allows you to be more in charge of your life and travel along your path feeling lighter and brighter than unconsciously carrying old outworn thoughts and feelings.

Through practicing greater awareness of what is happening inside with our energy and feelings, and learning and practicing ways to release stress from our systems …our minds become quieter, more clear, our hearts become more peaceful and happier and our bodies less stressed and healthier.

The choice to do so is a huge step toward claiming our power to create lives we love to live.

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]]>http://karenkallie.com/stress-reduction-subtle-energy-change/feed/013291Grounded Energy: Foundation of Mental, Physical and Emotional Health and Well Beinghttp://karenkallie.com/gounded-energy-foundation-health/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss
http://karenkallie.com/gounded-energy-foundation-health/#respondMon, 29 Jan 2018 11:00:19 +0000http://www.livingenergyworks.com/?p=12147What is grounded energy and how does it relate to our physical and mental well-being?

]]>Grounded Energy: Foundation of Stability
The term Grounded describes energy that is steady, stable and produces feelings of security. Grounding describes the process used to achieve this type of energy and experience a calmer, centered presence and ability to focus.

Grounding is part of a strong foundation for physical and emotional well-being and a desirable prerequisite for other energy work. Most people can benefit from additional grounding practice!

Root Chakra and Grounded Energy
The root chakra is associated with the earth element and magnetic energy. Its health determines feelings around fear, safety and belonging. When we are connected to healthy earthy frequencies and have an optimal amount and free flow we feel safe, steady…grounded. A strong root chakra allows for upward movement of healthy energy to the other chakras.

In a study done in a Mu room (a room where you can control the electromagnetic energies) by Dr. Valerie Hunt at UCLA, it was found that when the magnetism of the room was decreased, subjects became neurologically impaired. They could not balance or perform simple physical maneuvers. Predictably, when the magnetic energy was increased, the subjects’ physical functions improved. Dr. Hunt found that, the greater the concentration of magnetism, the greater the improvement in coordination and movement.

The Root Chakra and its energy is the foundation of our physical and psychological well-being so it is an important area to attend to when wishing to bring positive change of any kind to your life. Strong, stable grounded energy allows an easier release of old, stuck or toxic energy as well as contributing to our physical, mental and emotional health.