September Doesn’t Have to Be Sad

Why is that? I’m no doctor and wouldn’t be able to begin to tell you the answer to that question. What I assume is that as the generations continue and we become engulfed in technology, the need for speed, and instant gratification, there’s not enough time to consider our feelings. How can you process how you feel when you’re busy consuming how others feel through Facebook status, updates, and snap[chat]? Not to mention, take some time to slow down and assess how the feelings we have might actually be breaking down our mental state. This obsession we have with paralleling the notion of keeping it ‘one hundred’ with being brutally honest and inconsiderate of feelings or sincerely believing a mere emoji proves we reallymean it, in our communication. Have emojis replaced emotions? Are we conforming our emotions to fit the small pictures that we so strategically place in our text messages and statuses? I can’t help but ask myself have our emotions become too tech savvy? Have emojis replaced emotions?

By being able to replace a verbal “I love you” with a little red heart, have we tricked ourselves into thinking that little red heart on the screen is worth more than the voice on the other end of the phone? Do you really get “all the feels” from that message? Sometimes I do, but sometimes, I don’t. In this busy world of nonstop text messaging and social media interaction, loneliness may still set in, in my opinion, because a text message doesn’t quite comfort you the way a body or the vibrations of a voice does. Yet, I’d be a bold face lie if I said I’ve never awakened in the middle of the night hoping for a sweet text message to send me back to sleep. Perhaps I’ve adapted.

Even more lately, I hear people debate the romance and nuances of successful relationships and dating by saying “take your feelings out of it” or state the “facts only”. If my heart doesn’t matter, what is it beating for? Why, oh why?, am I taught that love conquers all and on the other hand asked: “what’s love got to do with it?” It gets rather confusing.

It gets rather confusing. On one hand, we are fighting a cruel world and on the other, we’re nurturing it.

Daily, I give thanks for a sound mind because I can honestly remember when that was non-existent. I remember when I was teeter-tottering that fine line of sanity. There was so much stress from the constant blows I was taking in my life. I just couldn’t plant my feet. An emoji from someone that cared just wouldn’t cut it. I just couldn’t find the support I needed.

Let me repeat that: I couldn’t find the support I needed.

Yes, I have friends. Yes, I have a family. But, at the end of the day, they couldn’t fight me for me. They couldn’t singlehandedly break the psychological chains that had me shackled. Furthermore, no matter how much knowledge they dropped, it just wasn’t enough to bring me out of my own warped thinking. It didn’t matter how many facts and anecdotes they brought me, those facts weren’t good enough to snuff out my emotional and psychological influences. A psychologist didn’t do it for me, either. Not because of the stigmas, not because I couldn’t be myself, but because venting to someone that knew me not at all just didn’t help.

I had to do itmyself. I had to rehabilitate myself. I had to truly practice mind-over-matter or be prepared to bury the amazing self I always was and that others knew me to be. That’s my story in a nutshell. I say all this to say:

There are many that suffer from clinical depression. And many of us drive ourselves to it because we don’t practice enough “happy thoughts”. We practice a lot of self-pity. Self-pity will get you nowhere fast. The world is teeming with fake love and obnoxious gloating. What the world is lacking is citizens of self0love. So, to anyone having any negative thoughts I admonish you to love yourself whole-heartedly; with mistakes and all, know that you are great and only will get better. As the saying goes, “Things get greater later”. Make today your best day! Force the happy thoughts and refuse the uncongenial abstractions that are holding you back from becoming the masterpiece you were born to be.

It’s September and the cold weather seasons are upon us. Some call this “cuffing season”, where we find some wonderful human being to shack up with, share feelings, Netflix and chill with, or simply share body heat during the cold season. For some of us, it is the loneliest time of the year, reminding us that there isn’t a thing on this Earth that keeps us warm. I beg to differ. Contrary to common belief or mental state, you must know that you are your biggest comforter. You have to be your own cheerleader and push yourself to make it through every tribulation and every difficult moment. Sometimes the smallest things can help you get through the next 5 minutes.

I applaud you now for the progress you make this season and I know that you can and will overcome sadness, depression, and any negative forces around you. I applaud you for the wonderful person that you are and not the negative feelings that the world may force on you. I applaud you for your own accountability and knowing that you contribute the most to your emotional success. I encourage you to #Begreat!

In the event that you find it too tough to get over the emotional baggage, you should know you are not alone. You should also know that you don’t have to be. Don’t be scared. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t be sad.

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). If by chance you know someone that may be going through the motions and having a tough time, then, be the one to help.

It’s September. The weather will begin to change and the days will only get darker sooner. You have to make the most of your light. You have to believe that you are the light. If not, you are an advocate of the darkness in your life. October will come and some will hide behind masks. Some of us are hiding behind masks of pain. No more. It’s time to be the light. It’s time to take the happiness that belongs to you.

Ashley resides in the Washington, DC metropolitan area, better known as the DMV. She loves words, music, and spending time with her three boys.
She encourages being yourself and loving whatever and whomever you love and remaining grounded. For her, that means being engulfed in creativity. Oh, and ice cream! She loves ice cream!
Find her sharing music, recipes, and the many things she likes on Pinterest.