10 Crazy Meat Dishes I Ate At New York's 'Carnivore's Ball'

Christian Storm/Business
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This past Sunday, on a pier on Manhattan's West Side Highway, the
so called "Woodstock of Edible Animals" celebrated its tenth
year. Founded by food writer Josh Ozersky and presented
by Creekstone Farms, Meatopia (which is perfectly
named) is a celebration of all things carnivorous.

More than 30 restaurants and chefs from all over the US came to
cook, assemble, and handout unique and delicious dishes, all
heavily featuring a wide variety of animal meat and flesh.
Mmmmmm.

With tickets starting at $200, the event was truly for the
die-hard meat eater. But boy, were they in for a treat. Everyone
had a great time, getting their money's worth of meat and beer,
and dancing surprisingly enthusiastically to the DJ spinning
wedding jams.

I was lucky enough to score a press pass and figured this was an
event I couldn't pass up. It lived up to the hype and then some,
and while I am absolutely no food critic or expert, here are some
of the tastiest and strangest meat dishes I've had in a long
time.

Christian Storm/Business
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The verdict: This is the kind of meal I would
want to eat if I was coming down with some mild black plague,
stuck inside my cabin on a snowy day on some tundra, while my
eight red-faced children played with wooden toys and sang folk
songs by the fire. It was hardy, smokey, and really good.

Christian Storm/Business
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The verdict: More quail. I now consider myself a
quail connoisseur. This meat was a bit more tender and juicy, and
was definitely easier to eat than my previous experience. The
vegetables were good, too. I think it was a bit dainty for some
of the carnivores around me, but I liked it. Plus, I got a free
pointed wooden stick to fight through the lines that were
forming.

Christian Storm/Business
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The verdict: Before eating this, I was already
feeling a bit full and was worried that I might have to bow out
of my odyssey of meat. Then I ate some beef heart. Now that I had
the power and stamina of a full grown steer, I felt like I
could tackle the rest of the offerings with even more zeal. This
dish was actually quite light and tender and the beef heart had
an interesting texture, soft but not gross.

Christian Storm/Business
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The verdict: Ah, here's what I came for — some
good old fashioned ribs, glazed with things you can buy at a gas
station and served to me with a pickle spear. Though I can't say
I really tasted the root beer and Tabasco, the meat was tender
and delicious and I enjoyed getting my hands messy, a rite of
passage I was expecting from Meatopia.

The verdict: You may not believe it from my
previous review, but this refined, elegant bite was my favorite
of the day. Call me an aesthete, but this gorgeous bite had
refreshing Asian flavors and light textures that were a pretty
welcome respite from all of the grease-soaked cow parts piling up
in my stomach.

The verdict: OK, this sandwich ruled. The
pastrami was some of the best I've ever had and the mustard
horseradish sauce was perfect. If this sandwich is available at
the Glen Oaks Country Club all the time, I might just have to
take up golf.

The verdict: Coming off my previous pastrami
high, I crashed and burned into this thing. Apologies to Chef
Hugh and Mighty Quinn, but this was my least favorite dish of the
day. Beef cheeks, which I've never had and doubt if I ever will
again, are sort of slimy and mushy and the green sauce tasted
like thick, bitter beer. The apples were pickled, which I'm not
sure apples ever should be, and the little cracker thing tasted
like someone has left a church communion wafer in the toaster too
long. I dropped most of this in the garbage can.

The verdict: Oh, pork belly, you frustrating
prince. You taste so delicious, yet as I eat even just one bite
of you, I can feel my face growing pudgy, my stomach doubling,
and my butt yearning for the couch. This spread, a very
carnivoresque version of a charcuterie, was delicious and also
included some sausage and sliced meats, as well.

The verdict: To round out my afternoon of pure
indulgence, I headed to the Odd Fellow's table, where they were
serving up Prosciutto and Cherry Ice Cream, salt optional.
Imagine vanilla ice cream with a few pieces of prosciutto laid on
top, and you pretty much know what this tastes like. It was not
bad at all, as both elements were tasty, but the flavors didn't
create much fireworks when mixed together.

Overall, I had a fantastic time at Meatopia. As I waddled home,
full of various and intriguing bits of meat, I remembered how
much I like my job. I'll be back next year, Meatopia, if you'll
have me.