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Saturday, April 20, 2013

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: Welcome Rainbow Brite, I'm glad you could join us. What are
you doing with your time nowadays?

Rainbow Brite: Since kids stopped giving a shit about me I
decided to become frienamies with the Evil Princess. She’s really not so bad so
long as you keep bringing her gems and gifts. It’s pretty convenient actually
since the Sprites just mine the jewels and give them to me all the time,
suckers.

PTM: Do you still keep in touch with Starlite and Twink?

Rainbow Brite: Of course. Starlight is my boy! Do you know
how expensive gas is in my land? You think you have it bad, you don’t. I can’t
give up a free method of transportation…plus it’s badass showing up on a flying
horse. As for Twinkle, he’s pretty busy overseeing the other Sprites but we
text every now and then.

PTM: Do you feel that you are still relevant?

Rainbow Brite: Not that the shit kids of today would know it,
but of course I am! You like color in your world right? Well, you think it just
magically appears!? I have to lug around this scepter, belt, and fly all over
the place creating color and happiness and what thanks do I get!? None, but I’m not bitter at

all…no, I just love working to help people who
never say thank you.

PTM: Is it true that G.I. Joe asked you out back in the day but you
turned him down?

Rainbow Brite: That guy! Psssh, Yeah, he made a pass at me
once but he stood no chance. I tried letting him down easy but you’d be amazed
how handsy he could get. Eventually I sent Krys after him. He moved on to
She-Ra after that but I hear that didn’t go over so well for him either.

PTM: My sister is a big fan of yours. Any chance you could make a house
call and surprise her for her birthday?

Rainbow Brite: I’d love to! My fans mean the world to me.
There are some loyal fans out there that are a tad creepy (grown men really
shouldn’t be requesting I stop by their house and hang out) but since you’ve been
so nice to me I’m sure your sister will be a gem. Email me the details.

PTM: Do you have a blog?

Rainbow Brite: I had one for a little while when everyone and
their mother was getting a blog but found that I just didn’t have the time to
keep up with it. I’m a busy woman, you know? It was fun while it lasted
though.

PTM: Now that you're older it isn't weird that I fantasize about you.
Your breasts have filled in quite nicely. Maybe after the show, we go for a
drink?

Rainbow Brite:Wow, so that whole you’ve been nice to me
thing…yeah. Uh…that’s really sweet of you. I mean, I work hard to stay in shape
and always appreciate when that’s noticed but I’m kinda with somebody. After
spending all that time together Brian finally made a move and well, we’re an
item now. Sorry.

PTM: Have you and Barbie resolved your difference or do you still
think she is a bitch?

Rainbow Brite:If
I can be friends with the Princess I can be friends with Barbie. Well, at least
on the surface. I mean honestly, pick a fucking job! You can’t shop, lounge in
Malibu, and get your hair done all day AND still be a doctor, astronaut,
Veterinarian, Secretary, CEO, ballerina, news anchor…the list goes on and on.
She’s just so wishy washy.

Rainbow Brite:You’re an asshole! This isn’t even fair! Alright,
I’m going to marry Wilfred (he won’t last long with the diabetes and all), I’ll
fuck the Wizard (dude’s gotta know some tricks) and I’m killing that sick fuck
Pee-Wee (I don’t like the way he looks at my kid friends).PTM: I would like to thank Jewels over at According to Jewels for playing the part of Rainbow Brite. Give the woman some blog love.

14 comments:

Hilarious! The Barbie answer was my favorite. She must be so pissed that Polly Pocket made such an overwhelming comeback. (I know I could've done without all of those damn rubbery clothes all over the place)