My daughter is a baby so I haven't been where you are, but I was lent the book, "Hold on to your Kids" http://www.amazon.ca/Hold-On-Your-Ki.../dp/0676974724 by a friend with 6 kids and one on the way who was also a foster parent. They were required to read this book in their training and she highly recommended it and I really like it too. He also has a lecture you can get on DVD.