July 5, 2015

Stand by for an arachnid invasion

OH DEAR LORD, here we go again. As
if sharks and octopuses and giant squid and sea snakes and poisonous puffer
fish weren’t enough to scare the pants off us, now scientists are telling us
that spiders inhabit the oceans of the world, too.

Worse still, they know how to sail.
In a new study published in the journal Evolutionary
Biology, researchers claim that spiders use their legs to harness the wind
so that they can sail just like a yacht.

“We’ve now found that spiders
actively adopt postures that allow them to use the wind direction to control
their journey on the water,” explained Morito Hayashi, of the Natural History
Museum, in London.

The spiders take on postures
described as elaborate and acrobatic, raising and contorting their legs in
different directions and angles to take advantage of the breeze. (Sounds an
awful lot like my old crew trying to raise the spinnaker.)

What’s more, they even use sea
anchors to heave to whenever they want. They simply spin a bundle of silk and
pay it out on a long line.

The British researchers conducted
their experiments with 325 adult spiders collected from small coastal islands,
where they presumably had plenty of time and space to practice their yachting
skills. So if you’re out sailing and you hear a tiny voice scream “Starboard!”
at you, for goodness’ sake go about at once.

And next time you feel something
move on your bare leg during the midnight watch out at sea, check to see if
it’s a wolf spider, or a black widow. I don’t want to panic you, but you’d
better make your will because you’ve got about half an hour to live.

Today’s
Thought

The mere
apprehension of a coming peril has put many into a situation of the utmost
danger.

— Lucan, De Bello Civili

Tailpiece

“And
what is your name, my good man?”

“James,
madam.”

“I’m
not accustomed to calling my chauffeurs by their first names. What is your last
name?”

“Darling,
madam.”

“Very
well, drive on, James.”

(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday,
Friday for a new Mainly about Boats column.)