In America, we see Islamic women all covered up and think, "That poor woman, made to be ashamed of her body!" But is it any less oppressive to convince a woman that her uncovered body is never beautiful enough? Is covering enslavement... or freedom? I wanted to find out.

1.04.2012

One Year Later

This time last year, I was getting used to covering my hair, arms and legs, and (much harder) not wearing makeup.

This year, my "I need less stuff" crusade continues, because I still have a long way to go in simplifying my life. I just threw out three boxes of beauty stuff because I'm tired of it all. I have four things of eyeshadow, concealer, three blushes, mascara, and that's it; I threw away most of my hair products and lotions because after TME I never used them again.

So basically, the lesson I learned-- that I really don't need a bunch of stuff to look beautiful-- is an ongoing commitment.

My life just continues to get better, and I have to wonder if it's some sort of cosmic reward for getting beyond my vanity a little and taking a leap. (More likely, it's both TME and the changes I've been making in my life for the last few years, but whatevs.) Two nights ago I spent hours in the studio with a well-known producer (who's a neighbor of my partner's), having fun and making up vocals to a track he wrote; I was back in the booth for the first time in years, and I LOVED it. Remember this? That was what it felt like.

My cats are happy living with my partner and I out here by the lake, my grades were good (could be better, but that'll be next semester), my relationship with my grandma, who's in hospice, is good, the church I work for is growing, I had a great time with my family over the holidays.... OH! And by total chance, I was in the Atlanta Journal Constitution today:

A year later, I have no interest in ever investing so much of myself into how I look. I still haven't gotten my hair cut-- I'm trying to learn to cut it myself, and when I hate it, I wear a headscarf like I used to. I occasionally get made up for fun, but I make a point of going out barefaced as often as I feel like it, just so I don't get overcommitted to it again.

Here's me, one year after the beginning of TME. I'm wearing pigtails, and the extensions are gone:

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About Me

I'm a grad student getting my M.Div. at Candler Theological Seminary at Emory. I'll be turning 30 next year, and I've recently noticed that I heal more slowly, need more sleep, and have more trouble staying thin. I say I'm a feminist who doesn't buy into the beauty myth, because it's just a ploy to keep women forking over for expensive clothes, makeup, surgery, etc. But facing the realization that I won't be "hot" forever fills me with terror, and suddenly I see that for someone who believes she's above Western culture's emphasis on appearance, I sure do place a lot of importance on how I look. I have about $400 worth of makeup in my bathroom and God knows how much in clothes, and the very thought of giving all that away and going without makeup, even for a day, fills me with an unfamiliar, gripping panic.
I wonder: what would life be like for me if I just... STOPPED? So from 1/1/11 to 9/16/11, I'm going to dress "modestly"-- which means covering my hair, arms and legs-- and I'm going to stop wearing makeup. Cold turkey, from stylish to stripped down, every day for over nine months. I wonder what will happen?