It's 2016, So You Might as Well Buy This Dick Bidet

Fellas, do you feel like there's something missing in your hygiene routine? Do you want an extra spring in your step? Do you want to feel squeaky clean? Then a dick bidet is what you need!

Proving that 2016 is the Year We All Want To Just End Already, biochemist Eduard Gevorkyan, economist Ivan Giner, and coach Miguel Angel Levanteri decided to put their heads together and invent the Urinary 2.0. It's a urinal equipped with sensors that can sense when your hearty stream comes to an end so that it can, ya know, spray soapy water all over your dick for three seconds before blowing a jet of air to dry it off.

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But don't worry—it takes seasons into account, so the wash cycle is cool in the summer and warm in the winter! And it will sense how monster your penis is so it won't accidentally spray water on your pants! THE HEIGHT OF LUXURY.

Currently, this high-tech dick bidet is in its prototype phase, though it may be sold to another company for about $765,300. Oh, and the team is working on a women's version as well, because everyone's genitals deserve to be squirted with bubbly water.