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My mother was movie-star gorgeous and let me know she was disappointed that I didn’t measure
up.

Eventually, I realized she was indeed both blessed and cursed. I had good female friends, while
she didn’t.

When she turned about 50, she decided she was losing her looks (she wasn’t). Although she was
smart, funny, capable and talented, she saw herself only as beautiful and pined away. Her life was
lived in one dimension.

— Bombshell’s Daughter

A long-ago subordinate (a woman; I’m a guy) was an ex-model. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

The comments, back-biting and sabotage by envious women were disturbing.

In retrospect, I think her life was awful. She must have assumed that her success was dependent
on looks — something nonsustainable.

— C.

•
On attending reunions despite a painful school experience:

I have been to all of my reunions. The 10th was awful — very competitive, still playing the old
games. By 20, everyone had seen hardship and tragedy, and was much more forgiving and willing to
share the people they had become. By 25, the mellowness was delicious.

Keep in mind that “It’s not over until it’s over.”

One of our “Senior Beauties” came up to me, the class nerd, at a reunion and said, “I always
envied you in school.” (Me?) “You were admired for your brain, and I was just a pretty face.”

— R.

•
On showing concern without addressing difficult topics:

Through the years, various members of my extended family have been in counseling for one reason
or another. Our code is simple. All parties are in on it ahead of time. The caring family member
says to the counselee, “How did it go?” This is code for: “I care about you. I know you are doing
something difficult and challenging. If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Any answer is acceptable, from a one-word “Fine” or “Terrible” to a blow-by-blow account of the
session and the issues addressed.

— C.

•
On making complaints about weight:

I struggled with eating disorders. I learned at a young age not to comment on weight outside the
therapist’s office. Not my own, not anyone else’s and certainly not children’s.

I want to write a book called
How To Have an Eating Disorder Without Being a Total Jerk because, judging from the
Internet, a lot of people don’t know how.

It’s the height of insensitivity to say, “Ugh, I’m so fat,” because people ultimately compare
themselves with you and then you’re dragging them down with you.