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Bullying at school

When bullying happens at school, it’s hard to know how to help your child. Let’s explore what bullying is and what you can do as a parent.

No one deserves to be bullied. Being bullied is not your child’s fault or responsibility.

Bullying can be a complex problem and there is sometimes no simple solution. Here’s a breakdown of some of the principles that underlie bullying behaviour:

Bullying is a deliberate intention to harm somebody else

The ‘bully’ may act alone or when others are not around and cannot witness it

Bullying creates a power imbalance between the ’bully’ and the ‘bullied’

Bullying happens through repeated acts and it's not usually a single event

Bullies may not have obvious ‘behavioural’ issues and they may have good social skills

Typically boys engage in more physical types of bullying

Typically girls engage in more verbal, emotional or social types of bullying

'Bystanders’ might take sides with either the ‘bully’ or the ‘bullied’

‘Bystanders’ may cheer or laugh or actively join in the bullying

Bullying when ‘bystanders’ are around usually impacts the ‘bullied’ more

You might start to notice changes with your child if they're being bullied. There are signs you can look out for as a parent.

If your child is being bullied you might notice:

Cuts, bruises, marks on their skin

Ripped or stained school clothes

‘Losing’ things at school

Withdrawing from others

Avoiding school or social situations

Friendship breakups

Feeling stressed, anxious, depressed

Loss or increase in appetite

Trouble sleeping, headaches, stomach aches

You are not alone. If your child is being bullied, they can talk to a Kids Helpline counsellor at anytime, for any reason.

It can be tough knowing how to broach the topic of bullying.

Try to be open to hearing their point of view and listening rather than jumping straight to solutions.

Talk regularly about school, their friendships and anything that might be troubling them

Ask them directly if they're being bullied and let them know you want to work together to help stop it

Discuss your own experiences of being bullied and how you got through it

Encourage them to call Kids Helpline and talk to a counsellor

For parenting support, call Parentline in your local State or Territory and they can advise you on what the next steps might be.

The impact of bullying

Listen to Bupa's parentingpodcast Mumbles, as Renee shares the impact bullying had on her daughter, before our Kids Helpline Counsellor, Leo, shares his expert advice based on years of experience hearing from kids themselves about the same issues.

Important Information for Teachers

It can be helpful to have a discussion with your class prior to the session to get them thinking about the topic (not essential).

Encourage your class to make comments and ask questions - the session is not about right and wrong, it's a discussion where everyone's thoughts are valid. It's equally okay not to speak up during the session, as long as students are listening (we emphasise this point because some sensitive issues can come up and students may need to process these silently).

If you show enthusiasm and interest in the session, from our experience, your class will too.

Although the sessions are pre-written, we make them as interactive as possible and have the capacity to be quite responsive to students' interest/needs. There is room for students to ask questions or raise issues that are off the chosen topic (the counsellor will make sure all the necessary information is covered during the session).

Students are usually quite excited to participate in these sessions and engage very well.

However, if you notice that your class is not engaging well in the session, please feel free to signal this to the counsellor and intervene to settle the class, mediate or "translate" some of the ideas into language or examples that you know your class will respond to.

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