I dream of an everyday, where I feel happy and giving to the world in a world where I am loved and love a person called my husband. I imagined our wedding and the feeling of a woman, who is now in front of a wifehood and motherhood.

I wanted too much attention, I gave myself too much importance allowing myself to believe I am better or deserve something from the past, which is not mine.

Please forgive me for daring to act, think and feel as a child who wants all the attention. Forgive me for daring to think I am more than you.

Now I let myself stay with this gift, the gift of partnership, of vulnerability, of humidity….

And it feels me with enormous love and gratitude for this chance to meet a person, who gave me this gift. The gift of his story. His mother died when he was 3 days old, his father left the family. But the boy grew up to become a strong and brave man, who trusts life and does not require more than he gets. Isn’t it a gift of gratitude?

And I stopped moving forward. It gave me a lot even when difficulties occured.

But my soul dreamed of feeling light, feeling my female energy…

I did not give up though. This year I will build from it a really good structured organization and will seek for an enthusiastic person to bring it to a new level. And I will know that I managed not only to give birth, but to bring it to a decent level of structure, so that it could be lead in beautiful new ways having a structure. It feels like I gave it an education and now she can be happy with her adult life.

When I realized this I decided to search for a temporary job, that inspires me. A month in a new job. The minute I decided to do this, I felt that God approves. It was a long way to go, but in the end I realized that all I need is to start as a beginner in a new environment, that suits my experience, attitude and intuition, of course. I went for a walk two days ago, just like that. I went walking and 3 positive things happen all of a sudden. I met a girl, whom I know from a volunteering action in Bulgaria, she is the one to be blamed for my ability to drive a tractor. She told me about an option to start at their ngo, which inspired students to be entrepreneurs and also told me about several projects, that she wants to apply for. In other words, I can work with her on these projects for the following months.

Then, Nadya, my bread friend called me and I asked her the same question of wanting to work on another project. She mentioned the cultural touristic way, that serves as a connection between the bread houses. The idea really inspired me.

And the third thing, that happened to me – was the meeting with Hristo Alexiev, whom I met at an investment hub and who inspires me in a very positive way to an extend that I really seek talking to him about business and things to do.

Then, I also got positive feedbacks from several people, whom I asked about working at their companies for one month.

Obviously, next week I want to explore several things:

all the options of working/volunteering with the following wishes:

inspiring mission;

nice and dynamic team;

ngo;

ability to use my languages, art of hosting;

challenge to learn new things;

traveling included;

My goals for the following month are:

give myself full permission to follow my intuition about what, where and with whom, what to do ;

to explore all the new options for occupation according to the criteria above;

to take care of the fun maths, according to the goals below.

Goals for March – Fun Maths;

improve the structure: site, processes of the company;

find financing for the summer in June and July;

help Plovdiv become happy with the children;

increase the current income;

start social activities as a voluntary job;

found an ngo to make projects internationally;

Remembering that I am a true treasure, the best treasure I have and the man, who will be with me should really be able to prove that he deserves me! To love myself. To take care of myself.

Not a single hour of being in my past, but to move forward every second. To feel with my heart, that life is unfolding in a beautiful way. Thank you God for this, this is a reality.