Principles for Relationships from God's Word by Claudio Consuegra

Dating deal-breakers – 1

Even though I am untrained in speech, yet I am not in knowledge. But we have been thoroughly manifested among you in all things. 2 Corinthians 11:6 (NKJV)

As singles get older, often they begin to experience anxiety over their future which at times leads them to ignore warning signs from the people they may be seeing as potential life partners. Marianne Wait[i], who writes for WebMB, suggests you make a list of the things that you would consider deal-breakers, things that should cause you to end a relationship before it becomes more serious. Bethany Marshall, PhD, PsyD, author of Deal Breakers: When to Work On a Relationship and When to Walk Away, explains, “When you’re with that person at the beginning and something strikes you as odd or bizarre, and it sticks with you, it makes you uncomfortable but you can’t really wrap meaning around it, that’s your red flag.”

Here are some early signs to watch for. Make a mental note (maybe even write it down) if the person you are interested in:

Shows up more than a little late. This can be a sign of anxiety, trouble tracking time, or simple disrespect; Is this something you can deal with?

Trash-talks an ex. It can take time to heal from a break-up, but if your date is focusing on the ex, how can they focus on you? Are they ready to move on? And if they can devalue one person they had a relationship with, what’s to keep them from doing the same with you?

Grooms too much, or not enough. Over-grooming could indicate a person who is insecure and has a puffed-up sense of self, while under-grooming could signal depression or other problems.

Sends the food back. Once may be normal, but if they do it often it could be a sign of a person who feels they have a right to special treatment. Maybe no one can please the person — including you.

If you notice some of these sings early in a relationship it may simply be normal anxiety. But don’t ignore them if they continue as they may be a sign of something deeper.

Father God, help me to discern carefully and to make wise decisions as they will determine my future happiness and success in life or a lot of disappointment and pain.