Transcribed testimony (1) Sharon

I was once a joyous shopper. I loved clothes, make up, nail extensions – the works.
I still do. But now I’m lurching between depression and near hysteria. I can’t go into shops.
My friends have tried physically forcing me in. I’ve tried alcohol, tranquillisers, hypnotherapy – but still can’t get through the door. I want a cure and I want it quick – my image is so last year and my nails are a mess!It was instant: I was in Primark and a voice in my head said,
‘Put down the blouse and back away from the clothes rail –
get out of the shop. Now!’

6 Responses to “Transcribed testimony (1) Sharon”

I had it all.
Good job, ineffectual husband, one boy, one girl, one Labrador.
I had the nanny, the cleaner, the convenience foods.
Now I’m all old clothes and …… I’ve got my name down for an allotment and I’m collecting horse manure ….

It started slowly. I wore the same outfit to the office two days in a row, then a whole week. Then I realised that my Casual Friday clothes weren’t casual at all.
One Wednesday evening I desperately searched the shops for Taramasalata. Nobody seemed to have any. I was so incensed I bought nothing and stormed out of the shops. I couldn’t bring myself to go back after that. I started cooking instead. Then cleaning. Spending time with my kids. Taking time off work. Now I am poor but happy, at the forefront of a brave new world. The disease is big but underground – growing every day. There’s been nothing on the news except public spending is down. Retail outlets are suffering.
That’s my fault. Shops just can’t cope without my custom.
Western civilisation will collapse

A few days ago I saw a woman in the supermarket – harrassed – two wayward toddlers and screaming infant in trolley. She was absent mindedly picking up stuff from her overstuffed trolley, reading the labels as if she was pondering to buy and replacing everything on the shelves.

I think I may have seen you. There was this group of teenagers, singing, chewing gum and chatting – shopping in Primark. They were way too loud, desperate to be seen to be having a good time. Then suddenly one of them goes pale, stops chatting, stops shopping … stops dead. She looks at this ridiculous frou frou thing she was about to buy and shoves it back on the rail, puts back all the clothes she’s been collecting to try on.
I’ve got tops! she screamed I’ve got tops I’ve never worn!
She looked genuinely confused, frightened even.

I didn’t realise how much I rely on everybody else to do all the shopping and hardly do any myself. I don’t know if I’m shopaphobic or just can’t be bothered or like the idea, or something. I am not doing as much on my own as I used to.