Posted tagged ‘Introductions’

Today was the midway review – to see how things are going with introductions and make any necessary changes.

I must admit I really like the opportunity to talk to people who ‘get’ adoption and TELL me I should be stressed and finding it hard. Not that my friends don’t understand but I feel there is more expectation from them for being to be loving every second.

We chatted about how things are going and everyone seemed very positive. There is some concern that things are dragging and this is starting to confuse the littlest man. For this reason, it was decided to bring move day forwards.

So as long as everything goes well over the next 2 days then my little ones will be home this Saturday. Fingers crossed!

Well I survived the first week of introductions and I’m not going to lie it has been tough (in some ways).

Spending time with the boys has been wonderful and generally easy – although there has been some pushing of boundaries and getting to know how to manage them (which isn’t always easy!). The first few days I felt happier and more confident with each passing hour but after about the third day I found things really tough. This is not because of the boys in any way but because of the really strange experience that is ‘introductions’.

Being in a stranger’s house 24/7 is never easy but you muddle on through – everyone knows that it has to be done. But as time passed on, and I took on more responsibility, I just felt more and more in the way and ready to move things on. There is generally nothing to do in someone else’s house but sit and play (or watch) the boys and after a few days this gets a little monotonous. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or unhappy but think it’s important to be honest.

I spent just over a week in someone else’s way and am now thrilled to be starting the second week where the boys will be spending more and more time at my house. I am hopeful that things will start to feel more real and also more relaxed (which will hopefully mean I’m not quite so tired).

Introductions are as tiring as everyone says they are but I was surprised at how awkward they can feel. I am very ready for the next stage though and I know that the past week has been very helpful in that respect.

No tears today, no intense nerves on arrival, just a lovely day with the boys and a much more positive feeling at the end of it.

The day started with the introductions planning meeting. Initially we went through some formal paperwork, and then the parental responsibility stuff (basically I am allowed to make very few decisions without consulting social workers first but that’s fine by me). Then we went through the timetable for the next 2 weeks and discussed any issues that would arise – nothing major, very flexible and to be reviewed halfway through.

I found interacting with the boys much easier today as I felt less pressured. The foster carer is also amazing at wandering off or taking a step back when appropriate. We even managed a trip to the park (accompanied) which made the day less intense – we love the outdoors!

I now feel completely at ease about the next 2 weeks and can imagine the boys living here. I’ve even brought a couple of small boxes of their things home today and unpacked them – lovely stuff!

Finally, I met my gorgeous boys for the first time. All in all, it was a very overwhelming day. I spent most of the morning in tears but as I went into the house, this was the last thing on my mind as oldest boyby said ‘mummy!’ Amazing!

The rest of the two hours is a complete blur. I just sat and played with them both. They were both really hyper and I left utterly exhausted.

When people asked how I felt, I gave the ‘correct’ answer of saying it had been an amazing day but actually I found it much more complicated than that. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I just didn’t feel right – in retrospect I think this was just nerves etc but it was certainly not the rush of love I had expected.