Melody Loses It

Thursday, March 17, 2016

UPDATED: Happy St. Patrick's Day and Good Morning!

Today I feel good, energized, and happy. I haven't had much of an appetite at all. I started Plexus MegaX so I am unsure if this product has much to do with my new decreased appetite. My knee that had been bothering me has eased up a bit, but now my plantar fasciitis has started bothering me, a result of my increase in wearing super comfortable, but no arch support, cute dress shoe crocs. I wore my running shoes today but forgot to move my brand new inserts that helps the plantar fasciitis. I will push through regardless.

Steps so far: Under 4000
I ended the day super stressed. I was already tired when I left work, I got home to find out Roxy, my Rottweiler, had gotten out of her enclosure and went to my neighbors house and attacked her chickens. I spent the rest of the afternoon retrieving her from the pound, visiting my neighbor, apologizing, and paying restitution. $20, very reasonable.

Roxy has become quite the nuisance the last few months. She has killed one of my chickens. After she ran my neighbors cows my husband (Roxy is really his dog) finally bought her a training shock collar and we had been using it. It has been incredibly successful up until today.

The problem with a training shock collar is you have to be there to witness the bad behavior and correct it. My husband left her in our enclosed backyard alone and she escaped, found her way to the neighbors, who free range their chickens. So literally they are sitting ducks.

The potential for this to happen again makes me want to send her to rescue. I love her to pieces and it will break my heart, but I CAN NOT have a dog that kills others livestock. At this point I am wondering if there is much of anything we can do to keep her from killing...or attempting to.

This situation has caused me an incredible amount of stress. After dealing with all this I came home and was very bitchy, down and depressed. I don't like having to take care of this business. I didn't like having to deal with things I never wanted to have to deal with in the first place. I want my dog to behave, but I am at a loss as to what to do.

We have already spent $1000 saving her when she was hit by the car. We have paid for the shock collar. We are going to have to find a way to keep her home with 0% chance of her escaping. That is going to mean we will need to be diligent and spend a lot of money we don't have at this time.

I am going to research what I can do to get her properly trained and turn her into a respectful member of society. If she can't cut it, she will have to be re-homed. :(

So this all means for dinner we ordered pizza and I ate 4 slices, ate a yogurt, and drank soda. :( Not the way I had envisioned my day ending, but it happened none the less.

On a positive note, I drank 95 ounces of water. That's the closest I have gotten to my 120 ounce goal.

Steps: I met my 7000 daily step goal I have set for this week. Steps were 7237. I had 17 active minutes. walked 4.11 miles. Burned 2675 calories.

I haven't weighed in awhile but my last weigh in I was down 7 pounds from Maximum Density.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

All resources in his life were focused on making that one goal happen.

I always have goals. I always have too many goals. I have probably 5 goals just for 2016...and these are major goals!
I have to admit that the thought of having one goal appealed to me.

But how to make such a goal? How to make such an all-encompassing grouping of words that would define my life and propel me forward into the future for the rest of my life?

I started researching and found blogs of highly successful people who had accomplished so much more than I have in my life. Some of these individuals had at least 100 goals.

These looked more like bucket lists to me.

I have a hard enough time trying to keep my attention on my teeny, tiny list of 6 goals.

So I decided that instead of a goal...I needed a mission statement....a vision for my life. A statement that I could memorize, print out, write everywhere, take pictures of, use as my wallpaper...

So I started writing down what I wanted to accomplish. I started to ask myself these questions...

What do I want to do? (not necessarily in this order)

Write a book

Sell a photograph

Lose 92 pounds total (85 left to go)

Visit the Ocean Yearly (more often if possible)

Learn how to paint with various media

Get better at drawing (develop a style)

Procure enough chickens to be able to sell eggs

Be a good Mom

be a good wife

Follow God's path for me

Make Gold, Sr Gold, Ruby, Sr Ruby, Emerald ambassador with Plexus

run a 5k

Rescue animals

Get out of debt

Tithe 10% to church and other charitable organizations.

Fully fund my own IRA.

Bring people to Christ

What do I want to see?

Take a trip down Route 66

the Grand Canyon

The Pacific Ocean

Visit one new beach every 3 years

See the Gulf of Mexico

The Mississippi River Cruise

My children and grandchildren graduate

Georgia

All animals in HC find homes

All my kids graduate from High School and college

What do I want to be? (Not necessarily in this order)

A Good wife and mother

A good daughter, sister, aunt

A follower of Christ

An author

An artist/photographer

A poet

An Animal rescuer

Responsible adult

Good money manager

What do I want to have?

My Family

My House

Healthy relationship

A laidback lifestyle

A couple of good friends

My collections

space shuttle program memorabilia

Rudolph collectibles

dolls

old toys

Coca Cola Collectibles

books

Pets, chickens

Enough money that I can pay all my bills and still have enough left over to live without conflict

to make over $50,000 a year with Plexus and selling my books.

Where do I want to go?

Gulf of Mexico

Georgia

The Pacific Ocean

Route 66

Dirty Dancing Experience

The Mississippi river (Cruise)

What do I want to share?

My love of Christ

Plexus

Wealth (Whatever that looks like)

What are my priorities?

To follow Christ

To be a good mother

to be a good wife

to be a good daughter

to be a good sister

to be a good aunt

to become successful with Plexus

to become an author

to be financially responsible and stable

And just for the record...

Goals I have met already.

See the Ocean

Get my Bachelors degree in Education

Get my Associates Degree in Education

Run a 3K

Own my own home (Thanks to my husband)

Have 4 kids

Saw one kid graduate from High School and college

Made Silver ambassador with Plexus

So now to come up with a statement that will encompass all these goals and what I want for my life.

This statement is transitional, metamorphic....a living, changing thing. If my life changes and a goal drops off, so be it. I am sure I will add more to it as things are accomplished and my life ebbs and flows.

"Each day, I will strive to live everyday to my fullest potential; I will spend time with God following the path he leads me on; I will spend time caring for, loving, and nurturing my family, realizing that everything I do for them is an act of love; I will dedicate my time to money making activities to increase my income and take the burden off my husband; I will strive to keep my home clean and in good shape; I will strive to keep my body as healthy and fit as I possibly can; I will embrace new opportunities for adventure and travel; I will finish my book and get it published, making writing a daily part of my life; I will strive to be the best human being I can be, making good choices, being a good role model, and doing more for others than I do for myself."

The truth is life is not a list to be checked off, however it is not to be drifted through aimlessly either. The goal is to find a balance between work and play, an adult mindset and a child-like perception, between the seasons that embrace us and the ones that plague us...to find faith, hope, and love in whatever cranny we can find it...to absorb all the goodness the world has to give us, to accept the bad, to burn it down, and like a phoenix arise from the ashes more spectacular, strong, and beautiful!

To not do these things is to waste your life.

It is my goal to do the best I can with whatever time God has given me.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

This is going to be a bit long. So bear with me.... This directly affects a precious member of my own family, and it might benefit someone you know too.

Ten years ago I read this article...I can't believe it has been ten years...

"Omega-3 played a big role in healing coal miner's brain

May 02, 2006|By Jamie Talan, Tribune Newspapers: Newsday

In the days after the Jan. 2 Sago Mine explosion disaster, the only survivor, Randal McCloy Jr., was experiencing multiple organ failure and severe brain damage.

Dr. Julian Bailes, McCloy's neurosurgeon at the West Virginia University School of Medicine and head of the trauma center, was up to speed on the latest benefits of the "miracle molecule" omega-3 fatty acids when he phoned Barry Sears of Zone Diet fame to ask about a recommended dose for the very ill miner.

"I've read everything Sears has written," Bailes said. "And he convinced me that DHA could play a role in Mr. McCloy's recovery...

Sears, who has studied omega-3 fatty acids...suggested that Bailes administer a total of 18 grams of eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), the two most important omega-3 fatty acids, via feeding tube. McCloy remained on the supplement until his return home March 30.

This was an extraordinarily high dose, Sears explained, but staff monitored McCloy's blood levels to assure it remained within a certain therapeutic range. The EPA reduced the inflammation caused by the lack of oxygen within the brain, and the DHA was required to repair the damage, Sears said. "I certainly think it played a big role," in his recovery, Bailes said. "How can he rebuild his brain if he doesn't have the substrate to do it?"

After being in a coma for weeks and in rehab for months, the miner is stiff and thin but walking on his own and exercising his right arm.

Besides helping heal the brain, omega-3, which is probably one of the most studied natural supplements, has passed muster in helping heal the heart, pancreas, immune system and joints. Potent anti-inflammatories, omega-3 fish oil supplements contain the same fatty acids -- DHA and EPA -- found in fish. Scientists say the American diet is so depleted of these fatty acids that supplements are not just useful but necessary...

"This has more evidence-based science than any other supplement," said Dr. Steven Lamm, an internist at New York University School of Medicine

Dr. David Perlmutter of Naples, Fla., said that DHA enhances a brain-derived growth factor and could explain why expectant mothers who take omega-3 supplements have children who score higher on intelligence tests."

I read this and remembered it. However as such is life, I ha stored it the info but never really thought about it again.

That was until Friday.

Friday, Trinity had a doctor's appointment with her new group of primary care doctor's. She was going because of back pain, but of course, the Nurse Practitioner reviewed her history and we got into how she is recovering from her seventh concussion. The nurse says, "The first thing I am going to do is recommend you start her on a high quality fish oil. There has been extensive study that shows the Omega vitamins help lower inflammation in the brain after injury and will help her heal more effectively."

Then I remembered the article!!

This whole time not only did I have the information I needed to help my daughter, but I even had access to the product!

Most Omega supplements are made from fish oil and only include Omega 3 and 6.

Plexus MegaX has Omega 3, 5, 6, 7, and 9. All from vegetable sources! So no fish aftertaste!!

I could not be more excited to be a Plexus Ambassador! I came home from her appointment and ordered MegaX for my precious daughter.

Friday, February 26, 2016

I am subbing in fifth grade. Fifth graders are usually not vindictive. This is one of the reasons that I love to teach this grade. They are old enough to use the bathroom on their own, but they are still young enough to love you. I have been substitute teaching since 2009, I have been teaching my entire life. Never in all that time have I had anything happen to me like today.

I was teaching the math lesson and it was going well, when I saw two little girls giggling in true little girl fashion...happiness bubbles escaping from pink mouths held tightly under clenched fingers.

"What is so funny? Why are you laughing?"

The little girls seemed to ignore me, but a girl beside them piped up, "Walker has been writing notes and passing them."

"Where is it?'

A child produced the note, folded in quarters, written on a blood pink "Post-It" note. I unfold it carefully, thinking that it would be a love note from Walker and the two giggling girls. I unfolded the tiny paper, reading the words instantly, my breath catching in my throat. The world tilted and righted itself violently.

"SHE NEEDS TO LOOSE WEIGHT"

The words caught on my heart and tore it, a words often do...

This sweet child, one of my loving fifth graders had written a note making fun of my fat.

They noticed I was fat!! Well one of them anyway...and the two snickering, little girls must agree...because they were... snickering.

I was mortified.

But I am the adult...

Damn! I'M THE ADULT! I could have meanly snapped at the child..."Yeah, well you are short!" As he is the shortest kid in the fifth grade...I could have revealed the note to the class. The other kids would have turned on him like rabid dogs for hurting my feelings, even if they agreed with his assessment, they would never admit it.
I looked up at the child. I have known him since Pre-K...

"Have I EVER been mean to you?"

"No Ma'am." he muttters tears brimming his eyes.

"Just go to the Principal."

The little bully left and I quickly assigned 2 math problems, fell into the chair, and let this soak in.

Now it was my turn to feel threatening tears.

I turned, composed myself and looked at my class.

"There are going to be times that people are going to be mean to you for no reason. They will say things to you and about you, just to make themselves feel better about their own shortcomings. Sometimes what they say won't even be true. Other times it will be. The point is it your choice about what to do with what they say. Whether it's true or not. It is your decision to let something someone says to hurt your heart. "

Later in the teacher's lounge I told the horrific story of my embarrassing woe. Another substitute said, "Well Melody you look cute today."

"I know right! At least I thought I did."

Even at 41 years old I am still learning lessons.

Lesson learned today ... I can't allow what anyone else might think of me to change how I feel about myself. I felt pretty. I am pretty. I DO need to "loose weight." But I don't have to allow a comment made by a mean spirited child to stop me from being me. Maturity rocks. Finally.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

I was still sore from a Jillian Micheal's kickboxing workout I had done four days earlier (Jillian Michael's is a beast!). So, I thought I would take it easier on myself and I chose a Biggest Loser workout DVD. It has several eight minute workouts. Eight minutes...pssshhhh...easy peasy.
So I chose the warm up, the abs workout (I hate doing abs, even though I am pretty strong in this area, despite being so fat), a butt workout and arms, back, and shoulders. I had temporarily forgotten The Biggest Loser trainers ...*sigh*...don't play...not even on a DVD.

I have to say I was pretty much enjoying it despite the amount of sweat that was dripping from my body. I got through warm up and abs pretty quickly and really had no trouble besides fatigue until... the butt workout.

I have been having issues with my ass for about year now. When I work out, walk long distances, or run my right butt cheek would cramp up. I am pretty sure this is from hips being out of alignment...something I learned from visiting the chiropractor last year. I haven't seen him in a long while and thus am beginning to feel the beginning of issues.

As I worked out, I started to feel my glute beginning to cramp up some. It seems to cramp near the lower part of my hip joint. Occasionally, I stopped and stretched it out and kept going. When I got to one legged squats I got through the left leg with no major issues. The first time I tried to do it on my right side, my glute cramped up, forming into a tight ball of ass, my hip popped, and I squalled out in a most unlady-like manner, sounding more like a wounded walrus than a person.

I immediately bent forward, halving myself to stretch the knotted muscle out. It unknotted itself from the spasming tangle it had morphed into and returned to its normal state, though now it throbbed. I imagined it was pulsating, but I cannot see my own ass.

I skipped the rest of the one leg squats but, I finished my workout.

After TBL arms workout I did a Leslie Sansone walking and kickboxing workout...think of it as kickboxing for your Granny. Lots of walking in place and low kicks. I am proud to say I followed the muscular older lady and even did the normal karate kicks to the head despite my ass muscle feeling as if it had been sent to the burning depths of Hell. Then I did a 10 minute Yoga stretch video...heavy on the hip stretches. I had to straighten my ass out- literally.

As the workout was done and the afternoon wore on, I hurt in my hip and ass cheek, then my right knee started aching, then my lower back on the right side, then my other knee, then my shoulders, and before the end of the evening, nearly every joint I possessed in my traitorous body had decided to rebel on me. I took 800 mg of Ibuprofen and went to bed early. I was beaten, but not defeated.

Today I got up with my normal energy level (Go Plexus!), but with pain in my...everywhere.

So I was determined to take it easy... I did a 20 minute TBL Power Walk DVD (1 mile) and then a 10 minute cool down stretch, and then the same 10 minute Yoga stretch video from the day before. Again heavy on the hip muscle stretching as to avoid another ass convulsing episode.

I am still pretty sore, but feel better than I did this morning. I am pretty happy that God and Plexus gave me the energy and drive to workout when in the past I would have thrown the towel in at the first sign of trouble.

I read a quote a few days ago from the book, Half-Assed by Jennette Fulda. She is a weight loss blogger turned best selling author, who lost over half her body weight and over two hundred pounds! I found her book extremely motivational and I plan to include many of her quotes in my blog from time to time. She claims not to know the secret formula to weight loss, but some of her advice is utterly priceless. Her words hit me like a ton of bricks, and I am just amazed at the nuggets of knowledge she gives that the rest of us miss. The quote I will leave you with is what motivated me today. This is something I totally missed in the past. I just didn't get this. How could I miss something so basic? I think many of us miss this or just think this doesn't apply to us. I sometimes like to think that things that may be difficult or painful to me, don't apply to me like they do the rest of the world. I was wrong. I will leave these words for you to dwell on.

"If you saw diet and exercise as optional. you were screwed. It was nonnegotiable."

-Jenette Fulda

Carpe Diem!

Mel

P.S. I was down another pound today! Eight pounds down from maximum density!! :D

Not silence...I can hear the kids playing their video games....WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY PLAYING? I just heard the F-bomb!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~PAUSE for Motherhood duties~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so where was I? O yes, silence...it's not silent, but there is snow on the ground and the kids are home and there is no screaming. My Rottweiler, Roxy is starring at me through the french doors, with white crystal on her mouth from playing in or eating said snow. The little dogs went out already and I had to rescue them from Roxy's game she plays. We keep the little dogs on a leash and Roxy grabs the leash by her mouth and tries to play tug of war with them. Both the little dogs, Gertie and Rudy, don't weigh 20 pounds together, while Roxy easily weighs 60-70. Needless to say it is not a fair fight, so I brought the little dogs in and left Roxy outside to chill out awhile. Don't worry I will bring her in soon.

I was marveling this morning how much my life has changed since finding Plexus. I have a routine when I get up now! How cool is that for the fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants, ADD girl to have a routine. I get up, get dressed, head to the kitchen and fix my pink drink, take my Xfactor multivitamin, and my Accelerator+, which helps with energy and weight loss. I have alarms on my phone so I will remember to take my biocleanse between meals. I have a Plexus routine that is changing my life.

I love my Plexus. It's good stuff. I just told my sister yesterday I understood how crackheads feel, because I get nervous when my Plexus products get low because I never want to feel the way I felt before...not because it is addictive, it's not, but feeling well is addictive.

How did I feel before Plexus? No one knows...not really. The difference in me is outstanding. I have had work colleagues say they can tell I feel better. However, I don't think anyone knew how bad I had gotten. I always ended my blog posts positively. I sometimes whined on facebook, but learned pretty quickly that most of your "Friends" are not real friends, and like vultures are just there to rip you apart when you are down. So I shared funny posts and rarely commented on how truly awful I felt. If I did mention it it was because I really, really, felt bad!

I had fibromyalgia, and then just last year, found out my thyroid wasn't functioning properly. Hypothyroidism and fibromyalgia... I didn't just have one, I had 2 diseases that caused extreme fatigue.

My family who I am especially close to, didn't realize how bad I felt either. I know my husband didn't...he was not very understanding at all that I might be tired, groggy, sleepy, achy, and down on myself already. After I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, I began to see how certain things I had suffered before were not my fault. I wasn't stupid and lazy after all!

The fact I had to nap most days, NOT MY FAULT!
The fact I couldn't get as much done as other people, NOT MY FAULT!
The fact I had gained weight AGAIN, NOT (ENTIRELY) MY FAULT!
The fact I often had "Brain fog" and needed extra time to process and react to things...NOT MY FAULT!

This changed a dynamic in me. I realized that I wasn't lazy and useless like I had been made to feel... I had 2 conditions that can be debilitating, and I was still moving, living (Sort of), working... I wasn't the loser I thought I was.

While in this funk, I suffered from depression. The Devil loved to attack me and he used my husband to do so. Whenever we have any sort of disagreement the devil would attack me and make me feel worse about myself than I already did. There was one night especially that Satan attacked me unmercilessly. I was journaling at the time and you can see the difference in my writing when I was being bombarded with thoughts of uselessness and how quickly it changed when I called on God to save me and I commanded the Devil to flee. I will write about that night soon. God wants me to share it, even though I would wish to never think of it again, but it deserves a post all on its own.

So I was at my lowest and fattest point of my life. After I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, the medication helped me feel better. But I still fought with fatigue. I still had those bouts of achiness which Compare to the achiness you feel when you have the flu. Fibromyalgia. It didn't seem I could beat it.

Then my niece became a Plexus ambassador. She had been on triplex for about 2 weeks and I could see the changes in her...more energy, she was happier! If she could see these differences in 2 weeks I had nothing to lose. I jumped right in and signed up. In the first 3 weeks, I lost 11 pounds! I felt amazing. I had energy and didn't need to nap as much.

My vitamin D levels were always low but after starting Plexus they are now on the low end of normal!

I am now on the lowest dose of thyroid medication!

My hair...which I lost and continue to lose due to my thyroid IS growing back in! I have baby hair!!

The biggest change of all though...NO FIBROMYALGIA! NONE. It is GONE!! And no more $300 a month fibro prescription either. It is gone as well.

Now I feel better because of this simple line of all natural products. What are you wanting to accomplish? What health issues do you want to fix? There is a success story out there for nearly every disease and illness. Research Plexus and come talk to me if interested.

Private message me at: www.facebook.com/melodydawnbills
email:

billsgrl3@gmail.com
Check out Plexus at http://shopmyplexus.com/melodybillshubbard

Sunday, February 7, 2016

"There's nothing to be ashamed of when when you fail to do something great. When you go out on a limb, sometimes you fly and sometimes the limb breaks. Even if you end up lying on your back with branches poking your butt cheeks, at least you have a great view of the stars."

-Jennette Fulda

So here I am again basically at the beginning...again.

Those of you who have struggled with weight can relate.

I have had many successes in the weight loss arena. However, I never made the changes permanent. I take full responsibility for my actions. I am easily swayed. I am immature in this area of my life. I just think that it is unfair that I cannot eat whatever I want, when I want. I have similar problems with money management. My sisters do not seem to have the money management problem and only a few of us have the weight problems...so the problem isn't how I was raised.

I would like to blame it on my ADD. I am naturally ADD. I am pretty sure I was born this way. It's a part of who I am now and for the most part I embrace it. Because of my ADD I see things most of you miss. I always see the sunset no matter how glorious or bland it is, no matter what else is going on around me. I see the colors and admire whatever visual blessing God has bestowed on us that day. If there were a shining diamond in the grass I would be the first to see it's glint. I feel as I am in several different places at once. I might be cooking dinner, but my mind may be appreciating the newest Sam Hunt song and writing this blog all at the same time. I also have a unique ability to close everything else out. If I am reading or writing it is hard to get my attention.

Because of these things, it is very hard for me to "diet." If someone has left cookies in the workroom for everyone, I will eat one and not even think about my resolve to get healthy. I will curse myself after I remember my resolution 3/4 through the cookie, which is way past the point of stopping.

For the most part I enjoy working out. I am a natural athlete and I get frustrated that my n=body can no longer do what it once could. That needs to change.

So what is my starting point. Well I am technically obese. I hate that word... OHHHBEeeeeSE...It sounds like "Ole' Beast. The word in itself is an insult.

So since I don't know you, I am not going to put my numerical weight out there. You can follow me my progress by viewing this handy chart I created.

There is no rhyme or reason to this chart. These aren't equal intervals, and they don't mean anything besides small goals I want to hit along the way. So don't try to figure out my system...you never will.

Currently I am 7 pounds down from my highest weight ever.

Other than that I am currently decently healthy. I have a few health problems, but I will discuss all that in a later post.

So there you go. I am going to get healthy. I am going to lose weight.

About Me

I am a mother of 4, married to my soul mate, a teacher, a writer, and amateur photographer. I am passionate about gardening, saving animals, preserving history, and improving the lives of children. I love my life.