Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A HUGE part of me wishes that all I had to do was take care of Cole. I could literally sit and stare at him all day! His little arms are plumper, his double chin rounder, his neck thicker, the creases in his skin deeper. I'm probably the only one who would even notice these minute changes. I know this should be something to celebrate...my baby is thriving, right? But, it still makes me well up with sentimental tears. How could my baby have changed so quickly?

But, such a wish is not realistic.

Reality is the kitchen floor that hasn't been washed since BEFORE Cole was born. Yuck! - and that's not the only task of housework that has been neglected so long, either. I have actually managed to wash and fold 4 loads of laundry today though.

Reality is that my older kids are feeling the neglect (maybe distraction is a nicer word, but I'm not sure that's how they see it) a newborn entails:

Jacob has been insisting on not just wearing, but twirling, in Laci's church dresses while announcing "Princess!" Classic middle child syndrome taken to a new level? This used to be an occurrence that Laci would instigate. I'm not sure how I feel about him taking the reigns. You know, 20 years ago, boys dressing in their older sisters' clothing could be laughed off. In today's society, however, I just don't think it can be anymore. Jacob needs to know he's a boy! As it is, I haven't put my foot down with him carrying Laci's doll around or playing with Barbies. And, as if that's not enouch, he's definitely mastered selective hearing to the max.

Maybe that's something he's learned from Laci. She literally ignores any orders I give. I feel like I'm repeating myself 100x before getting a reaction from either of them! Any suggestions for putting an end to this? I'm definitely going to go crazy or grey or bald from pulling my hair out during these LONG days while Jason attends school.

On the flip side, when I stop to smell the roses...

I can see that Laci and Jacob adore our little bundle as much as I do. It lights up on their faces each time they look at him.

Laci insists on pushing his swing (even though it has a motor to keep it going) or changing his diaper.

Jacob makes sure Cole has the necessities of pacifier, blanket, and toys around him at all times.

They instantly tell me if he starts crying, and get angry at me (or take matters into their own hands - which can be really scary!) if they feel like I'm taking too long responding.

During stories, they each hold Cole in their beds while I read: every day, Jacob asks to hold "Baby Cole" before I start reading. Laci begs - every time - for more stories just so she could hold him longer!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Sarah Cole is my great-great grandmother. We don't know much about her. What we do know is that she was born in England, and joined the Church there. After travelling to America, she met who would become her her husband, Edward Oakey.

We do know a little more about him, however. He was taught the gospel and baptized by Wilford Woodruff in England. Edward then sold his entire inheritance - much to the chagrin of his family members - in order to pay the passage to America for many LDS saints. He was completely broke after that. Through much personal sacrifice, he joined the saints in America. Upon meeting Sarah, the two married. Together, they settled in Nephi, Utah.

Sarah Cole's daughter, Ellen Lavelle, had deep brown eyes that looked almost black. Those eyes, I was often told from her son, my Grandpa Tew, I had inherited from her. With an affectionate smile, he would look deep into my eyes and say, "You're eyes are just like my mother's, Ellen Lavelle." Even as a little girl, I could tell it pleased him that those eyes were passed down to one of his posterity. So far, Laci and Jacob have also inherited those eyes...and it looks like Cole will have them, too.

Even though we don't know very much about Sarah Cole, we fell in love with her maiden name for this sweet new boy who has joined our family! We feel so honored to pass it on to him.

Hensley is also a family name. At age 18, my Grandma Tew - then Norma Hensley - joined the Church. She was always deeply spiritual growing up and upon hearing the missionaries, being baptized felt natural to her. She is an amazing pillar of strength, faith, and devotion to our family. We love her dearly, and it is in honor of her that we chose it for Cole's middle name.

Friday, May 7, 2010

At my appointment today, we were disappointed to find that my body hasn't progressed as far as we would have liked it to by now. Inducing where I am now would mean a long labor, and increases the risk substantially for tearing my incision. Rather than risk my life and the baby's, we decided on another cesarean.

Up until this point, I have felt torn. On one side, I felt like having another c-section meant that I was giving up or taking the easy way out. It would also mean that every baby we have from here on will be delivered c-section. On the flip side, however, of course, I didn't want to put this baby at unnecessary risk. Ultimately, I knew that this appointment would bring with it a final decision. I feel both relieved and at peace. Trying for a VBAC brought with it a lot of open-ended questions that we simply wouldn't know until labor progressed. Now I can push all those aside and simply enjoy the birth of my baby boy!

Plus, I get to choose his birthday, too! We'll be checking into the hospital at 6:30 tomorrow morning, and my surgery is scheduled for 8:00 am. May 8 looks like a good day for a birthday!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I've been going back and forth for MONTHS about whether or not I want to open a facebook account.

Here's my cons list:1. privacy - or the lack thereof2. setting up a new account; it always takes me SO long because I'm really not that great on computers (seriously, just ask Jason how clueless I can be! He's always so nice about it, though.) Which is probably another reason why I'm afraid to jump into it; do I really know what I'm getting myself into?3. time issue - do we really need MORE reasons to be on the computer? (especially as moms)

And, my pros list:1. a great way to reconnect with old friends2. provides an opportunity to keep up with those who might not be big bloggers but love facebooking

I'm interested to hear your opinions about facebook. Do you have a facebook account? Do you like it as much or more than blogging? And any other suggestions you have to offer!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Jason is off at mutual. It's his third or fourth week as the Young Men's secretary. He really loves it. He blew the boys' minds away when he could guess all their names correctly on the very first Sunday he taught. I think it was just the priests' class, but still, I couldn't have done that!

*****

Wishing I had a craft to do. Waiting to unpack the basement - where, coincidentally, all my crafty things are still packed away. I'll be glad not to have a baby in my belly weighing me down to tackle THAT project.

*****

Apparently, dreams can become really vivid during pregnancy. Didn't experience it during my pregnancy with Laci. With Jacob, however, I always had really bad nightmares. Glad that's over! I've always hated horror movies, and it's even worse when you're starring in one nearly every night!

Lately, I've been dreaming that I'm back in high school, but I'm pregnant. And, throughout the entire dream I know that I'm married to Jason and have two other kids. Weird - especially when I'm flirting with some random high school kid I knew back then!

*****

I'm watching celebrity jeopardy. Doogie Howser is winning. I recognize the other guy, but could not tell you who the lady in the middle is! Oh, now the "other guy" is in the lead by $600....

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses, applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion. Such testing will polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires of a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.

Monday, May 3, 2010

We have a camera! Thanks SO much to Baba and Papa Denham. They just happened to have an extra camera lying around, and mailed it up to us. I would post some photos, but we still have to get a sim card. Apparently, the one we bought for it last week is too large, so we have to exchange it for a smaller one. I don't think I can even express how GRATEFUL I am! I was prepared to buy a small box camera, but not having to eliminates the headache of developing film and scanning pictures into the computer - which now that I'm thinking about it, wouldn't even be possible since our scanner is broken.

#2 -

I've finally realized that my exhaustion is allergy related. Since moving to UT, I haven't had any symptoms. Apparently, it takes a couple of seasons to develop allergies, so I guess coming up on year 2 since our move I'm due for symptoms - so it never even crossed my mind. As it is, when I'm not pregnant I hardly even notice my allergies.

So, about 8 weeks ago when the seasons started to change, and I started getting brain-fog and overall fatigue, I kept thinking, something is wrong with me! Especially during the last 3 weeks, as it's progressively gotten worse I started thinking, Okay, I'm going to have this baby and we're going to find something is seriously wrong! This is NOT normal!

But then a light kicked on when I noticed Laci was having all the classic symptoms. That's it! I must be having allergies! I was suddenly bombarded with memories of my pregnancy with Laci: if I didn't take a claritin THAT morning, I literally could not function by 2:00 that afternoon. And, it very well could be what made me so vulnerable to illness during my pregnancy with Jacob. I always attributed it to his size, which I'm not ruling out completely. I suppose it's possible that between the two, my immune system was so compromised that I simply could NOT stay healthy. It also makes sense considering that we had a swamp cooler in our house, and we were living directly across from an open field that was ALWAYS full of weeds. I think I may be onto something here...

I'm just so glad that I'm not going to have to undergo a bunch of tests following this pregnancy. After a week of Claritin I'm already feeling MUCH better.

#3 -As of today, I am officially scheduled to be induced on Saturday at 8:00 am. YEAH!