However, as the co-owner and operations manager of the Rabid Bitch Tea Room points out, the initial batch of arrivals weren’t even a taste of what was to come.

“The first wave was fine, the next batch to come and join them were a bit rowdier. They were from further North,”

“Each wave was dictated by the distance they had to travel. By the time the Townsville and Cairns crowds were rolling in, it was evident that my trendy Newtown venue was now hosting Australia’s cultural cringe,”

“They weren’t beautiful by the end of it. The patrons from far north Queensland had far fewer teeth and much more offensive vocabularies. They were taking up the bar with their giant Akubras… Anyone who tried to make space would have to fight them”

Included in this batch of Northerners, was the Betoota Advocate’s very own reporters, who can attest to Mr Clementè’s claims of having to replace his glassware with non-shatter plastic alternatives and hiring temporary bikie-affiliated RSA marshalls to curb Bundaberg Rum related violence in his “alternative” night spot.

While Mr Clementè says catering to the Queenslanders has been testing, he would really appreciate some sort of clarification regarding their estimated departure time.

“They don’t seem to be going anywhere. They have sat in my bar since Thursday drinking rum, swearing, fighting and fucking,”

“No one is telling me anything. It’s like 1770 all over again… They could be here forever,”

“I had a brief break from them last night, when they all went in to watch the match. But sure enough they came straight back… I don’t think the realise that no one actually watches rugby league in the inner-west anymore,”

The North Queensland Cowboys won their first NRL title last night after Johnathan Thurston kicked a golden-point field goal to beat the Brisbane Broncos 17-16 in a thrilling grand final at the Sydney Olympic stadium.

NSW Head Of Police says since “The Queenslanders rolled in” their has been a very alarming rise in drink-driving, vandalism and petty theft.

One Response to "Sydney Pub Staff Not Sure When Queenslanders Plan On Leaving"

Don't You Worry About That October 6, 2015 at 6:08 pm

Good Try. Brisbane Bitter was flushed away by Carlton at about the same time XXXX bought Tooheys. That happened at a time when Newtown still had Jets, moustaches and flew north to get wrecked on Great Keppel Island for holidays, frangipanis for sheilas’ optional. Lest we forget Winfield, the Escort Club and, when only the best will do, Benson and Hedges. Nowadays it’s imported beers, photoshop and facebook, lest we forget the crippling rents and dare it be said a dangerous degree of pretence. Still, if this story is even half true you inner city hipsters have been blessed, eh.