The United States of Nolandisland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Stephen Nolandis with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 11.079 billion Nolandislandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kessnolanville. The average income tax rate is 20.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Nolandislandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,113 trillion Galleons a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 100,524 Galleons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

The country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, Nolandisland is increasingly belligerent on the international stage, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Nolandisland's national animal is the Okapi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.