Help This Pastor Spread The “Good Word” By Purchasing Him A $65 Million Jet

A televangelist is asking his congregation to help him spread the good word by contributing to the cause: purchasing a new private jet for $65 million. Creflo Dollar (you can’t make this shit up) is looking for a serious upgrade from his modest 1984 model and wants to buy a Gulfstream G650, one of the fastest planes in civilian aviation.

The appeal said: “We believe it is time to replace this aircraft so that our Pastors and staff can continue to safely and swiftly share the Good News of the Gospel worldwide. Believe it or not, there are still millions of people on this planet who have never heard of Jesus Christ and know nothing of His greatness. Our hearts desire to see precious lives changed and snatched out of darkness and thrust into His marvelous light! We need your help to continue reaching a lost and dying world for the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Oprah Winfrey is apparently on a waiting list for one of these planes. I repeat, Oprah fucking Winfrey is on a waiting list for one of these planes. It’s just such an outrageous purchase for a pastor. I respect the hell out it.

Dollar is completely upfront about the whole endeavor, too. He’s not embezzling church funds or collecting for a fake cause. Dude straight up wants you to buy him the most luxurious jet on the market. Scratch that, he doesn’t want it, he needs it. His current plane has been put out of commission after several mechanical failures and you can’t have a man of God riding Southwest or Delta. No, a man of the Lord needs to ride in style — his own personal Jesus jet to navigate through the heavens..

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Dan Regester@Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

Some people would be mad if he bought this thing out of his pocket since he could have given the money away instead of buying a jet. This guy has the Tostinos to ask for one as a gift?! Who hasn’t heard of Jesus that can be reached by a plane? He gonna land it somewhere in the Amazon?

I got a bullshark friend (they can go in fresh water, real talk) who tried to get up the Amazon river. He can vouch for the fact that a private jet is not the way to get there.