Bored by the Mad Men premiere? Looking for something to do after tonight’s Game of Thrones? Oh, fellas.

I am an avid fan of George R. R. Martin’s series Game of Thrones. I have recently purchased a replica of the Iron Throne as seen in the television show, and need a partner to play out an elaborate fanatsy.(Via)

After crossing the Narrow Sea and defeating the forces of Westeros, it is within my power and right to slay all of those who betrayed my family and denied me my rightful place for so many years. The most vile enemies of house Targaryen, House Stark and House Baratheon must pay the highest price. All of those who fought against the Mother of Dragons are slain – all except one. When I come to Robb Stark, out eyes lock and something moves inside of me. I realize I need to have him, want him, and I can tell he is thinking the same. I order my guards to throw him in the dungeon and later that night, I have him brought to me, in the throne room. There, on the Iron Throne I’ve so recently won, I make wild and passionate love with him, repeatedly.

Please only respond to this post if you look like Robb Stark! I would appreciate pictures, but please, no names. In order to stay as true to the fantasy as possible, I ONLY want you to refer to yourself as Robb Stark. You will need to provide your own clothing. Please keep in mind that you will have recently participated in a battle and been thrown in a dungeon, so you will not be wearing your nicest furs.

I’m looking for a Stark in the streets but a wildling in the sheets.

I’m 98% sure this was written by Fake Leslie Knope as Fake Khaleesi for Fake Ben Wyatt as Future Husband.

Actually, sex on the Iron Throne sounds like a really uncomfortable and risky proposition, seeing as it’s covered with barbs and jagged edges that often cut the one who sits on it. The Mad King knew that well, as one of his other nicknames was King Scab. King Little Shit Joffrey also cut his arm open in Book 1 on the chair. I’ll pass.

Spoilerific comment. You’ve already done that. Spoilers aren’t about how things happen, they are about what happened. Saying someone dies but not saying “the event that happens” is just goddamn way of spoiling it. Fuck you.

Read my comment in that way and there’s sooooo many possible events that could happen to ruin this lady’s day. Sorry if I caused you to have a heart attack, but it wasn’t my intention to spoil anything, which is why I didn’t.

Hank, I wouldn’t fret too much, it’s clear Buster was really just trying to get another badge by harping on your comment. Speaking of your comment, it’s vague enough to be taken several ways and I think it’s a knee jerk reaction to really call it a spoiler.