Tag: wisdom for parents

“If thou seekest her as silver; and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.”

Values are caught, not taught. If you value earthly things, your children will pick up on it, and your values will become their values. Parents who influence their children for God are those who internally value fellowship with the Lord above all the treasures of earth. If He is not your supreme value, neither will He be your child’s greatest treasure.

“Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding.”

Prayer should be a normal, but important, part of our home. Too often we thrust prayer to the corner. We might begin our mealtimes—those few meals that families are able to have together—with a short, perfunctory prayer. Perhaps at night we might have a quick prayer. We are better off not to pray in front of our children than to pray flippantly or as though we’re rushing to get it over with so we can get to the more important things.

Two problems confront the modern parent: truth is not always easy to understand, and children are increasingly less able to concentrate. Yet without understanding, youth have not learned. This verse teaches that a person must “incline” his ear to wisdom, and his heart to understanding. Incline translates the Hebrew word meaning “to stretch out, to spread out.” Wisdom and spiritual understanding come by stretching out our minds to grasp truth.

Youth must hide the Word in their heart. Once more we see the parent’s focus is the heart, not behavior. Behavior is only a tool, and the tool is not the product. We are equipping youth with the tools they need in life—we are fashioning their hearts. We must readjust our thinking in both education and the home. Education is about wisdom, not knowledge. The home is about the heart, not conformity. In school your child may memorize and give correct answers. In the home your child may submit to your demands. But both of these are external and may be accomplished without an ounce of grace in the heart.

“My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee: So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom and apply thine heart to understanding, Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.”

Verse 5 describes the goal of godly parenting: to produce youth who understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. Academic scores do not measure success in your child. Though our children become doctors, lawyers, and influential citizens, we fail if they leave our home without a genuine fear of the Lord and understanding of how He works.

“And they lay wait for their own blood; they lurk privily [hide] for their own lives.”

The sinners described in these verses had no foresight. They enticed naïve youth to follow them. Yet they walked the path of their own destruction! Youth lack the ability to see beyond today. This is a sign of immaturity, not of rebellion. Keep in mind that your best youth can be enticed to the grossest sins because of their innocence.

The second force that makes youth prime candidates to follow the wrong crowd is the desire to possess. All men want to own, to possess. This longing for things is the root of all kinds of evil (1 Tim. 6:10). It is not possessions that destroy, but the love of them. Paul warns us of the destruction that awaits those who fall into the trap of foolish and hurtful lusts (1 Tim. 6:9).

“If they say, Come with us. Let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause: Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit: Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse.”

Let’s look more closely at those things that cause our children to give in to the enticements of sin. First there is the need to belong. These three verses make this clear. Notice the five uses of the word us in this passage. Children have a strong desire to be accepted. This is a part of nature and is not in itself rebellion. However, the forces of sin understand this drive and use it to seduce the naïve to fall in with the wrong crowd.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

Many scholars consider this verse the theme of Proverbs. It’s certainly foundational to Christian education, wherever that may take place. Knowledge, which the second half of the verse uses synonymously with wisdom, begins with the fear of the Lord. Training in the home begins when youth fear the Lord. Why then do we skip the beginning and concentrate on the results? We can train all day, but we only train fools unless they fear the Lord. As a parent, my first objective is to bring my children face-to-face with God. How?

“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning: and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.”

This verse points us to the kind of children our homes must produce. Let’s work backwards in this verse. The ultimate goal of a home is to produce children who “attain unto wise counsels.” Literally, the phrase wise counsels can be translated “helmsman” (one who steers a ship). Thus, our homes are like naval academies producing young people capable of steering their own lives and rightly influencing the lives of others. When our children leave home, they must be equipped to steer their lives in a godly direction on an ungodly sea. They must, likewise, have a burden to help other youth avoid the rocky shoals of temptation.

“To give subtlety to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.”

Having seen the parent’s goals for his own life, we come now to his goals for instruction. The object of parents is to “give subtlety…knowledge and discretion.” Note the progression of verbs in Proverbs 1:2–4: to know, to perceive, to receive, and to give. First, we must have an intimate knowledge (experiential knowledge) of the Lord (true wisdom). Second, we must understand the implications of that wisdom. Third, we must be possessed by that wisdom. Finally, we must instill that same wisdom in our children.

“To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity.”

Here are the four goals of wise parents: to be possessed by wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity. Today we look at the second of these goals.

We must be possessed by justice. Justice is the Hebrew word most often translated “righteousness” and refers not to the quality of righteousness but to right living. Experiential knowledge of God leads to righteous living.

“To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity.”

Here are four great personal goals for a wise parent: wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity. Today we will discuss the first goal.

We must not merely instruct in wisdom, we must ourselves receive the instruction of wisdom. Receive is the King James translation of a Hebrew word that means “to accept, to believe, or to commit to.” The concept of possession is inherent in the meaning of this word. Thus, a wise parent must be personally saturated with wisdom. Wise parents are literally dripping with the knowledge of God in their daily lives. Wise parents are totally committed to knowing, loving, and enjoying the Lord. Is this your goal? Do you daily seek fellowship with Him? Does your heart pant for God (Ps. 42:1)?

Proverbs 1:2
“To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding.”

Parents impart knowledge. Good parents impart wisdom. It is good for children to know 2+2=4. It is better that they know that behind the strict mathematical code is a God of order, organization, detail, and exactness. It may be good that our children play sports, but it is far better that they see the LORD behind every event in their lives.