Thoughts During Terrible Sex

We have all had it happen, Kittens. That one sexual experience that we either choose to forget or our brain blocks it out for us. I found these fabulously hilarious lines from my favorite blogger, The Bloggess, but I’ve added a few of my own.

Why does it smell like hotdog water in here?

That’s what I get for betting on that damn game!

I wonder if I play dead right now will he stop……nope. Kept right on going. Disturbing.

There should be laws against this.

I should really dust that ceiling fan.

The only way this could get worse is if somebody I know dies right at this moment.

Is it even in?

This doesn’t count.

Shit. I think I heard the remote slide behind the bed.

So If I Call Now, & Order One Gallon Of OxiClean, They’ll Send Me A Free One Too? ONLY THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF 19.99??

Wow. You really think you are doing something, huh?

Should I call an ambulance? Is he having a seizure or is this normal.

Maybe I should go back to my ex.

I’m getting humped on the leg by your dog. He’s doing it better than you.

Vonda Howard is the author of four novels, including the widely popular, D-Cup Dives Series that features sexy, and confident plus sized women. She is also the Editor-In-Chief of Black Literature Magazine. She also enjoys appletinis, gummy bears, Chipotle and all things filled with glitter and sparkles.