Captain Alistair Tullett was the first to circumnavigate the flat Earth, or so he claimed. When his patron asked how the crew had fared during the voyage, Tullett is reported to have replied, “They were on edge the whole time.”

The patron is reported to have missed the joke.

When the round-Earth theorists later exposed Tullett’s operation as a fraud, the disabused unamused patron sought to bring the conmen’s captain to justice, but Tullett was nowhere to be found. It was as if he had simply dropped off the face of the Earth.

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Liam Perrin

Liam has been roughly geosynchronous for more than a few decades and likely will remain so. Most recently, he orbits the center of Earth from a position outside of Phoenix, Arizona where he tries to avoid high speed collisions with his wife, one daughter, a miniature Australian shepherd, a Russian tortoise, a 70-pound Sheprador, and a cat which turned up uninvited.