Will This Orgasm Machine Totally Change Your Sex Life?

By
Laura Beck

Mar 15, 2014

Scientists are currently developing an ORGASM MACHINE (which I feel should always be typed in ALL CAPS) that will guarantee instant orgasms to ladies whenever, wherever with the touch of a button. The future is now, and she is GLORIOUS.

According to Refinery 29, the device is slightly smaller than a pack of cigarettes and would be implanted in a woman's buttock. Here are the gritty I mean sexy details:

When activated via remote control, the machine sends electrical pulses to electrodes placed on the spinal cord. Patients are conscious while the electrodes are implanted so they can give feedback on which nerves are associated with sexual pleasure. The design has been under patent for several years, and clinical trials are set to begin next year.

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While this is obviously not for everyone, it would be life-changing for women who are unable to have orgasms. It's likely that the rest of us will stick to Skinamax, a glass of red wine, and some good ol' fashioned clitoral stimulation until they invent an ORGASM MACHINE that's slightly less invasive.