Confession Tuesday

I mentioned yesterday about an incident on a ferryboat. I'll begin with that...

To the confessional--

I confess I did not mean to scare two passengers and a ferry worker, nor did I mean to make the entire ferry look to see who was screaming and running up the walkway.

Basically, here's what happened-- Annette & I were boarding the ferry at the last minute when we looked down from the boarding walkway to see if they were still loading cars (as long as you see cars driving on the ferry, you know you are okay with time). When we looked down there were no cars driving on and Annette said something like "uh-oh" and I had this deeper inner reaction that I was going to miss Jeannine Gailey's reading in Seattle.

So like the scene from "A Streetcar Named Desire" (see Marlon Brando photo above) where he screams "Hey STELLA!" that was pretty much me boarding the ferry, except I screamed, "NOOOOooooooooo! NOOOOOOOOO!" as I thought they were closing the doors (this has happened to me before, so I am slightly scarred).

It was one of those moments where I lost all self-consciousness because I was so focused at the task at hand--making the ferry. What I hadn't realized was how loud I had screamed until I saw the two women jump, and the ferry worker shake his head. Walking onto the ferry, another ferry worker said, "Wow, you two sound like you're a lot of fun..." To which I replied, "We are."

I am a loud person anyway and can be completely unaware of how loud I am when I'm lost in a moment. Walking on the ferry, heads turned to see who the screamer was. Annette said she likes traveling with me because she doesn't have to be the aggressive one and that I'll take care of things like that. That made me happy, plus that fact that she wasn't embarrassed by my outburst.

I have been laughing about this scene for the last two days as I play the image of myself screaming and running onto the ferry. Had I not been dressed cute and smiling, they might have called security.

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I confess I like that my friends do not get embarrassed by my weirdness and/or quirks.

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I confess that same day I managed to say things to two friends to make them feel uncomfortable. This was not on purpose. This was me *trying* to be helpful and friendly, but sometimes I have a way of opening mouth and inserting foot.

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I confess I was recently talking to a friend about some marriage issues she was having and a few of her complaints. I told her, A housekeeper is cheaper than a marriage counselor.

And the more I think about this, the more I think it's true. Many times the things that drive us crazy are the little things-- like the clutter left on the table, the messy kitchen. It's probably cheaper to pay someone to clean them for you than to 1) go to marriage counseling 2) cheat on your spouse to escape your messy life 3) get a divorce.

Now, while I don't currently have a housekeeper, I think this could be an open door to one. . . Um, I'm not a therapist, but I play one on TV...

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I confess I am much more like a man in how I want to fix things. Instead of being more feminine and listening, when a friend brings up a problem or issue to me, my first thought is "Great, we can fix this," when really they just want a listening ear.

I confess my listening ear likes to make plans to fix things. I definitely understand how sometimes men get into trouble with their significant others in such instances. I think many times this is how my foot-in-mouth issues begin.

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I confess I haven't had time to work on my third manuscript and not having time to write makes me obsess about writing and wanting to. This is the plus side of being busy, it reminds you of what's important in your life.

3 comments:

I used to have a lot of guilt surrounding the idea of getting a housekeeper. 1) Why pay money for something my husband and I should ostensibly do ourselves?; 2) Given that housekeepers tend to be minorities, am I contributing to racial and class oppression if I hire someone to clean my apartment? There was a third one, but I can't remember it anymore.

And then I realized the crux of many of my marriage frustrations came to the cleanliness of the house. A housekeeper really was cheaper than a marriage counselor. And we could research companies we sure were treating cleaners fairly.

Allyson-- Yes, and there are also a lot of women doing this on their own (without working for a company), so it's a way to help one person with her life and finances. Many times they just put up fliers at the community center in our neighborhood. (Why, I keep finding more and more reasons why this is a good thing!)

And I am totally with you about many frustrations have to do with the cleanliness of a home. I know when I'm cranky it's because of having to "clean up" after someone.

I am known in my house for saying, "I did not get my graduate degree to pick up your stuff..."

The only time my house is neat is when I am not writing well. So it's not a good sign. I love LOVE a clean house, but I love writing more . . .

Sadly, even a house keeper can't entirely fix up my house. The array of papers, the chaos of random sticky notes full of lists and ideas . . . and the general disarray that follows me like Pigpen . . .