Wednesday, 3 October 2012

D'Souza and the Village of Bill

Dinesh
D’Souza introduced the village of Bill while participating in The
Great Debate together with Ian Hutchinson arguing against
the proposal that science has refuted religion, which was defended by Sean
Carroll and Michael Shermer.

During
the “cross-examination phase”, D’Souza raises the mystery of Bill.He describes visiting a village (which seems based on figures
from a Pew Forum Report) in which there are a hundred people, of
whom 95 say they know someone called Bill, three of them say they don’t know the
guy and two say that Bill does not exist.D’Souza then rhetorically asks who you are going to believe.

This
is a brilliant argument, but not for D’Souza.

If
you had two disbelieving people in a village of 100 who are indistinguishable from any other
villager (apart from their position on the existence of Bill) then you could
easily check their rationality by asking any of the 95 who say Bill exists to
introduce you to Bill.

Say
that you approach each of the 95 and ask them about Bill and their responses
are something like:

·Oh Bill’s not physically here, he built the
village, created the villagers from dust and left

·Bill is sort of here, was sort of here in the
form of Young Billy and has always been here, and in fact everywhere

·If you just open your eyes and your heart, you
can welcome Bill into your life, but until you truly believe in him, you won’t
see him or feel his presence

·When Bill calls you, you will know him

·You can’t see Bill with earthly senses, you
just have to have faith

·We will meet up with Bill once we die, he’s
creating this place where we can be with him and praise him forever

·To be honest I sometimes doubt that Bill
exists too, but then I talk to an officially sanctioned proponent of the
existence of Bill and she reassures me

·I don’t know much about Bill, but everyone
else seems to know him and that’s good enough for me

·Young Billy did some miracles and stuff and
was way cool and the people who first believed that Young Billy was the Son of
Bill and stuff all agreed that Young Billy was the Son of Bill and some other
stuff, not that I’ve actually read what they wrote because it’s all in this
like old language and stuff, so of course there is a Bill, oh, look, a
butterfly

·We’ll forgive you this once, being an
outsider, but if you question the existence of Bill one more time, we will
smite you

·Bill must exist, because if he didn’t, there
would be no basis for our morality

·Young Billy died for our sins

·Bill loves us so much that he sent Young
Billy or himself or both or a third or perhaps two thirds of himself to Earth
to have a really bad weekend for us so that he can forgive us for the fact that
he, Bill, made us fitted for (but not with) the ability to sin

·You don’t believe in Bill?Don’t you realise that sinners will bask in
Hell for an eternity?Stop denying Bill
for the sake of your immortal soul!

·Lots of smart people through the ages have
believed in Bill, even some of your scienteristic types, are you trying to tell
me that you are smarter than them?Even
Einstein said “Bill does not play Scrabble” and “The Bill I believe in is a
type of Bill who isn’t really Bill as most Billeists think of Bill, but a Bill
who interacts with the universe in a similar fashion to luminiferous ether, ie
not at all”

·Don’t you come around here asking about Bill,
the onus is on you to prove that Bill doesn’t exist and you can’t

·Look, it’s obvious that Bill exists, he made
the village, and us, and you, just last week.From nothing!The evidence is all
available to you, so long as you don’t let yourself be misled by standard
scientific methodology

·If you really want to know Bill, you should
read this book or come to one of our weekly “Let’s Talk about Bill”
sessions.Oh and by the way, don’t read
the book literally, you have interpret it.Actually, now I think about it, don’t read
the book, just let me tell you the central message of the book.Bill exists!Isn’t that great!

Also
say that you notice that the 95 are grouped into quite distinct groups based on
the specifics of Bill: what they think that Bill looks like, what and who Bill
likes, what Bill’s intentions are, the approved way of holding “Let’s Talk
about Bill” sessions, the correct day for holding “Let’s Talk about Bill”
sessions and the response to questions (polite disdain, amazement, declaration
of crusade/jihad and so on).

Finally,
say that not a single one of the 95 is able to lead you to the house where Bill
lives.They can’t show you a photo of
Bill.A team of forensic scientists are
called in and no trace of Bill can be found.The claims made about Bill are investigated and every single phenomenon
that is attributed to Bill can be explained by other means.

Who
are you going to believe now?

Are
you going to believe the 95, many of whom need weekly meetings to remind
themselves of their commitment to believing that Bill exists and many of whom,
when questioned, reveal that they don’t really know the officially sanctioned
details of Bill but do like the general idea of Bill?Or are you going to believe the two, whose
position is entirely consistent with the facts available – or perhaps the three
who remain steadfastly agnostic and supposedly will believe in the existence of
Bill if and when he turns up?