Head on the Table

Archive for
January, 2011

Let’s get one thing straight. I do not watch Tyra, but I happened to be someplace today where the Tyra show was on and I heard one of the most pathetically worded pleas for help that I have ever heard. There was a fat girl who stood up in the audience and said “Tyra, […]

Chapter One: The Dance It was the monthly dance and bash in Dipdrought Oregon. Little Roly-Poly Mary Slimship stared across the dance floor and hardly could believe her eyes. “A bag of quarters!” she almost gasped out loud, and sure enough it was. Mary noticed that none of the other girls had gotten […]

This is going to get a little bit out there. You might want to bail now. A friend of mine told me that the movie, “The Expendables” didn’t have much of a story. I agree, but if you like your blood and guts served up over- the-top, video game style, with a touch of black humor and […]

I really am talking about mice. I found mice droppings in my basement, so I bought some of those pellets that cause the mice to hemorrage internally and die a horrible death. I know, they’re so cute. Except when they are leaving shit in your basement. Well, six or eight deaths later […]

I really am talking about mice. I found mice droppings in my basement, so I bought some of those pellets that cause the mice to hemorrage internally and die a horrible death. I know, they’re so cute. Except when they are leaving shit in your basement. Well, six or eight deaths later they seem to […]