Emptying the cluttered recesses of a dangerous and confused mind. A place for current e-venting and general indignation.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Cartoon Furor Spreads to Heartland

KABBALAH PROTEST SPREADS:DOWNTOWN TERRE HAUTE IN SHAMBLES

Kabbalahist protesters make mystical signs for the names of Godas they assemble in front of the Holiday Inn in downtownTerre Haute.

(Terre Haute, IN- SOUR GRAPES GAZETTE EXCLUSIVE)

The furor over a supposedly blasphemous MADONNA caricature has continued into its fourth day with spontaneous protests erupting in downtown Terre Haute.

A group of pro-Madonna Kabbalahists stormed the Dollar General store at the 12 Points Shopping area, knocking over displays of plastic flip-flops and Tootsie Rolls and injuring an elderly man.

At Honey Creek West, Dean's Party Mania received an anonymous bomb threat and was forced to evacuate its store for three hours. Detectives with the Terre Haute police department bomb squad searched the premises, but found no explosives.

"We take all such threats seriously, especially in light of the hysteria of these Kabbalah mobs. When we see the red wrist strings- we run the Homeland Security alert up to the max," said Lt. Kevin Langford, THPD SWAT supervisor.

"Madonna will be avenged; she will be avenged by our deeds and our blood. We will not let this affront rest," said Steve "Yusuf Steinman" Ringwald, local Kabbalah lecturer and proprietor of the Lucky 7 Inn, a local beer hall.

All 33 of Terre Haute's Kabbalah practioners were rounded up and placed under arrest after a fire broke out at Tito's Topless 'Topia earlier this morning. Witnesses say they saw Kabbalahists chanting "Death to the Infidels" pour gasoline on rags and toss them into the bar dumpster.

No one was hurt in the three-alarm blaze but there were several serious injuries due to melted implants. Tito's will remain closed indefinitely.