Pages

Monday, March 7, 2011

You Can't Cut in Line

Or, There Are No Shortcuts

Let me tell you a story. You've probably all experienced something similar. Say you and your best friend are at Disneyland, both waiting in a monstrous, impossibly long line to get on Indiana Jones. You've both done the exact same things to get there--saved your money, endured the hassle and stress of air travel, balked at the cost of entrance, not to mention the world's most expensive popcorn (are the kernels made of pure gold? THEY JUST MIGHT BE). You've dodged through the crowds, you've done the research on which rides you most want to get on, and you're there.

In line.

You know that eventually you'll both get on the ride. As far away as it seems, it's going to happen. But at one point in the line it branches off--two sides of the same stairway. What's the difference? You can't see any. So your friend gets on one side of the branch, and you get on the other, high-fiving and laughing and looking forward to reaching your destination at exactly the same time.

But.

For reasons completely unfathomable and (thanks to the twists and turns and hallways of the line) totally invisible to you, your line zips along at practically a jog, while your friend's line has patterned itself on the daytime activities of the three-toed sloth. Your friend? Is. Not. Moving.

You wave frantically, trying to get her to jump the line over to you, but the thing is once you're in your line, there's no jumping. It doesn't matter that your friend knows you, that you've been through all of this together, that you think your friend is the single coolest person on earth. Fact of the matter is, your line is moving, your friend's line isn't, and there's nothing either of you can do about it.

You get to the ride first. You ride the ride. Heck, maybe you even run back around and get back in line and somehow still manage to go on another time before your friend gets to the front.

It makes no sense. It's not any fun, especially for your friend. It just plain sucks. But such is the nature and mystery of lines.

I see a lot of people trying to figure out how to cut in line in the publishing industry. A lot of them seem to think if they can just make a connection with a published author somehow they'll be able to skip all of the steps, effectively cutting in line, and magically arrive at the front without ever having to wait in line, or even enter the theme park in the first place. They think there's some big trick to it all, some magic, secret underground tunnel that will deliver them at the very front of the line if they can just get someone to tell them where it is or walk them through it.

There are no cuts in these lines, friends. There are no secret tunnels. It doesn't matter who you know. Sometimes it doesn't even matter how good you are. So much of publishing is writing the right thing at the right time and getting it in the hands of the right people. You can't control that. What you do are the same things everyone else does: You write the best freaking book you possibly can, and then you query, and then you get an agent, and then you go on submission, and then you sell a book. Sometimes it happens in that order. Sometimes you have to jump back to a previous part of the line--say, writing a different book and querying again, or writing a new book but keeping your agent, or keeping your book but finding a new agent, so on and so forth. But the line is the line is the line, and unless you are Nicholas Cage at Disneyland* (which, hey Nick! Thanks for reading my blog. You're kind of weird, but that's okay), you wait in the line.

Your line might move fast.

It might move slow.

Regardless, the line is how you get to the ride. Holding hands with someone who's already waited in the line isn't going to let you bypass it. Trying to find a tunnel--or even dig one yourself--isn't going to let you bypass it. So quit looking for a way to cut and instead find a way to entertain yourself while you're waiting. I recommend writing another book, because these lines? They're fickle, unpredictable things. The ride at the end, though, is always worth it.

*True story: My sister-in-law almost knocked Nick down coming off of Indiana Jones. His bodyguard was not thrilled.**

**Nick has nothing to do with publishing. He just really likes Indiana Jones. And nearly getting knocked over by petite blondes. Like I said, weird guy.

Also I feel it's my duty to warn you that, while waiting in the publishing line, there are no humorous/threatening filmstrips narrated by Gimli from The Lord of the Rings. But you don't have to stand behind that strange woman with the invisible dog and the overwhelming perfume. So that's a bonus. Also you can avoid that person in those creepy toe-sock-running-shoes-things that make you shudder. And you can at least sit in a comfortable chair, too. And make your own popcorn from kernels that are merely made of silver and thus far more cost-effective. So many perks! Best line ever!

53 comments:

(So now I'm picturing Nicolas Cage riding Indiana Jones with his bodyguard and getting annoyed at a petite blonde for knocking him over as he was getting off the ride... I almost hope he got annoyed, because that would make the situation even funnier)

Amen Sista! I had to learn this the hard way in the very beginning. Then I realized the people who wanted to buy my book were probably scam artists and I exchanged a few tightly written hate e-mails telling them how naughty they were for leading me on. (psh...like I wouldn't notice that there was nothing wrong with them when they said there were only TWO gramatical errors in my MS!)

Okay, so I've learned a lot since then...several years later... and I'm not taking any ANY shortcuts. It wouldn't be fair for the rest of y'all.

So what you are saying is that there is no FastPass for publishing? Because the invention of the FastPass was the best invention since Disneyland. But I can see how it wouldn't work so well for the publishing world. Great post.

Love it! Your comparison also reminds me to stop being a chicken and get in line already! The line isn't going to get any shorter, the ride any less terrifying, and as you point out, I can multitask (write write write) while I wait.

True story! I HAVE cut in line on Indiana Jones. It was over 10 yrs ago when the ride first opened, lines were over 3 hrs long. They had actors in costumes entertaining the line and then they had a trivia contest and I won! My friend and I got to go thru a secret tunnel and elevator and then jump right on the ride!

Ok, but I will wait patiently in the publishing line, eating my churro, wiping cinnamon on my jeans.

Excellent article! Sometimes waiting in line can be frustrating, but those who are really determined keep writing while their waiting in line. Sure, you may have 5 full manuscripts by the time someone accepts one, but hey! That's 5 books you have ready for submission!

My advice to those waiting in line would be this: wait in all the lines it takes, but don't stop righting while you're waiting!

Great post Kiersten. It feels like a line sometimes--and it DOES sometimes feel like some people get there first. And then you realize they started waiting in line before you did. :) By the way, the pic of you and your sweetie makes me smile every time I see it.

It really is just a transfer from one line to another. I am published and am having to repeat the whole process to get an agent for my next series. On the bright side, while in the first line I wrote six books, got to sit in my comfy chair, listen to a LOT of inspirational music, read who knows how many books and turn 21! I agree - best line ever. I just happen to be the friend who is going back to the end of the line. Who knows, maybe by the time I get an agent I might have another six books? *crosses fingers* Oh! OR a pink ipad will have been released! I just can't get myself to buy any computer that isn't pink for some reason. LOVE the post and it made my day!

Great post! I'm currently in the beginning part of the line where I'm polishing my manuscript until it shines... and the line seems really long, but it gives me hope to know that others (Kiersten White for example) have made it through the line once and are going around again because the ride is totally worth it... right? Which is all that really keeps people like me going. I'd sure as heck jump out of line and head to a completely different ride if there weren't people telling me/blooging about how awesome this one is.

I love seeing people get on the ride. It means it does happen. Some days I feel like I'm not even in line. :) (But that's my own deal of taking my own sweet time writing and revising) But seeing people get agents, get book deals, publish--that stuff spurs me on! Thanks for the metaphor!

I'm mixing analogies here, but when I was fifteen, my friend Misty and I went to see Scream 2 in theatres, only they wouldn't let us buy tickets because we weren't seventeen yet.

So instead we got tickets for a PG movie staring Jonathan Taylor Thomas (I can't believe I still remember his name) and then snuck into Scream II to meet up with our friends.

Only the movie theatre people totally knew what we had done, and just before the movie started, burst in and turned on the lights, and in front of everyone made us leave. We didn't even get a refund or get to see the movie we'd paid to see.

Which brings me to my point: sometimes you see people cutting in line and you wonder why they got away with it when you didn't. But the truth is, they didn't really get away with anything, even if it looks like they did. And if you were in that theatre, the one they snuck into, maybe you'd see what really happened--that they got caught, got humiliated, and ended up right where they'd started...outside.

This is such a great post! (And not just because I live an hour from Disney World!)

I have been writing since I was 9; I have been submitting to publishers since I was 10! This, my 43rd year, marks the first time I can point to a book with my name on it and say, "Yes, that is mine! I can die knowing I've been traditionally published!"

Do I sometimes wish it had happened 20 or 30 years ago? Sure, but "waiting in line" has taught me so much, and now I can actually read what I've written and not blush; I think that's a journey in itself!

Thanks for writing this post and reminding me that all those years meant something, too!

I find this condescending. Most unpublished authors are working hard, writing hard, and doing everything they can to get published, not trying to ride on the coat-tails of another author, or as you put it "cut the line". Fortunately, most published authors I know are thrilled to act as mentors and friends, and I am so grateful for them.

Hey Anon, long time no see! I'm sorry you found what was essentially a light-hearted way of saying "there's no way to predict when you'll get there, but stick it out because it's worth it" as condescending. Guess we can't always convey emotion in writing as well as we'd like.

I was simply trying to point out that it doesn't matter who you know, the path to being published isn't easy. And I am always happy to answer questions and help people in ways that I can, as evidenced by pages and pages (and pages and pages and pages) of information on my blog, searchable by pretty much any writing term imaginable.

Stay awesome, Anon, and thanks for pointing out that my intention wasn't clear for everyone.

Tone--It's an ongoing joke that Mormons have a special way into publishing because there are quite a few very prominent/well-known YA and MG authors who also happen to belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But you know what they say, correlation is not causation, so on and so forth.

As far as being a little optimistic, yeah, it is. Not everyone who gets in line will get on the ride. But that just felt too depressing to address on a Tuesday.

Thanks for the great post. You know, I think that it's a good reminder that sometimes the wait in line isn't so bad. You can look around, observe others, learn a lot, and visit with people. After all, don't they say it's not about the destinataion, it's all about the journey? I'll definately try harder to enjoy the writing journey as I aim for my publication destination.