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How To Handle A One Night Stand

6 years ago | 8400 Views

"The older men who seem fun-loving are generally more adventurous, and are therefore a good choice."

Protect yourselfBut you've got to be safe...and smart. 'Hooking up with a friend of a friend, or someone who is one or two degrees of separation from you, can make you feel safer and more comfortable since you’re not dealing with a totally unknown entity.' If you are hooking up with a stranger, best go to your place (versus his) or even a hotel where there are people around as a safer option.

No matter where you do the deed, condoms are a must. And watch your alcohol consumption, too. 'So much casual sex happens as a result of inhibitions being lowered by drinking, but in the end, you want to feel like you made a good, safe decision,' Kerner says. 'It’s fine to have fun and drink, but make sure you are the one lowering inhibitions for yourself and aren’t letting alcohol make you do something you wouldn’t normally do.' So a few G and T's are fine, but a bottle of gin? Not so much.

Don't expect a relationship

Sure, some long-term relationships began with a one-night stand, but the odds are against it. If this is truly a one-night stand, do yourself a favour and don’t start naming your future children the minute you hit the sheets. Just enjoy it for what it is: a night of great sex. Keep your expectations in check to prevent later disappointments, says Los Angeles-based psychologist Michelle Golland, Psy.D.

Skip 'the talk'

If your encounter is truly no strings attached, is there a need to state that upfront? Not usually, says Kerner. 'In general, I’d say don't define it - that becomes about words, and sex is about actions,' he explains. But if you are having a one-night fling with an ex or a friend, that probably requires being clear up front, he says. After all, you don’t want him thinking this is the beginning of some great romance if it’s little more than a booty call. In this situation, Golland says, 'Share your intent with your partner before becoming intimate, just to make sure you’re on the same page.' Then jump each other’s bones!

Get rid of the guilt

If a one-night stand leaves you feeling like you’ve done something wrong, take note: There’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself, says Kerner. 'You need to banish the guilt,' he advises. 'Remind yourself that you went into this mentally for the right reasons. You had some fun, some good sex and a great orgasm.'

Avoid post-wedding reception regrets

Weddings are fun, romantic events - and often the scene of drunken, post-reception hook-ups. But if you are sleeping with the groom’s brother, things could get awkward fast.

'Having a one-night stand with anyone you have close connections to could cause a ripple effect,' Kerner warns. 'For instance, sleeping with the best man could bum out the bride or groom - or both. It’s best to have one or two degrees of separation between you and your fling. So, a friend of a friend is okay, but your best friend’s boss is probably not the best prospect.' And if you never intend to call this person again, things could get ugly - especially if he’s into you.

Think through the social consequences before you do the deed to figure out if it’s even worth it.