Jesus Christ,was he SO desperate for Bruce to not be Batman that he wanted a chick he barely knew (and who's sole purpose of coming to Gotham was to EXPOSE BATMAN!!!) to be Bruce's soulmate?

Yes. That's pretty much what happened. Alfred sees Vicki as Bruce's chance at a normal life, and the scene that follows is about Bruce rejecting that normal life because he's needed as Batman. And it's fairly heavily implied that she already knows Bruce is Batman in the movie.

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I can't be cynical and overanalyze Bruce/Vicki that much. Frankly, in most films, especially films before the whole "Everything has to make absolute perfect sense or else we'll nitpick it" era that we're now in had relationships that developed quickly. I'm not gonna look at Bruce/Vicki with a overly realistic lens and go "Bruce only dug her cause she's the first girl he diddled, and she only likes him for his mystery". I think their connection was genuine, even if the execution of their romance dosen't hold up to 21st century scrutiny.

I don't get the complaints. The relationship between Bruce and Vicki is one of the more natural ones seen in superhero films, especially of the era. The “dinner” scene alone is more grounded and more powerful than anything found in most superhero movie franchises, or movie franchises period, for that matter.