Three steps to take back your power

Master the re-framing technique. Re-framing is a way of changing how you feel about past events that still trouble you:

Begin by relaxing your body and centering your mind.

Take yourself back to an event which affected you and get in touch with all the emotions you felt at the time.

Re-frame it. See the scene running through your mind; watch it on a big screen. Visualise a different outcome. ‘See’ it happening as you would have liked, really ‘feel’ it, sense it, step into it. With practice your mind will accept this as reality.

Practice this over time with as many ‘difficult’ memories as you wish. Begin with the least troublesome, and, as you become more comfortable using the technique, tackle more serious issues.

This sends a powerful message to your subconscious to record over old tapes with new, more positive empowering interpretations of events.

Step two

Take one action each day that represents a willingness to reclaim your power. Risk expressing yourself, risk not being liked by not people pleasing, risk being your authentic self. It only need be a tiny action, but tiny actions each day create huge changes. Commit daily to strengthening your courage muscles, building self-confidence and self-esteem and taking back your power.

Step three

Stop judging yourself as not good enough. Ask yourself: ‘How realistic are the goals and standards I am setting for myself?’ Here’s the thing, there’s a paradox here. There’s nothing wrong with having high expectations of ourselves: as low expectations lead to underachievement. However impossible ones crush your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Take a journal and write down:

‘When I fail to live up to my expectation today or fall below the standard I set myself, I have always told myself...’

Write down the first three thoughts that come into your head.

For example: I screwed up. I always will be the runner up, never the winner. Everyone else is successful and has it right except for me.

Write down in your journal, ‘I’m amazing, and fabulous and smart and witty and a decent, kind amazing being. I’m more than good enough, and I’m full of gratitude for who I am today.’

Make it happen - you can do this! It's your time to shine...

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