Narcissism FAQ: Homosexual Narcissists

Question:

What is the typical profile of a Homosexual Naricissist? Why is he always on a look out for new victims? Is he lying or is he telling the truth when he says that he “wants to get laid” by anyone? If he is not suicidal, is he not afraid of AIDS?

Answer:

I am a heterosexual and thus deprived of an intimate acquaintance with certain psychological processes, which allegedly are unique to homosexuals. I find it hard to believe that there are such processes, to begin with. Research failed to find any substantive difference between the psychological make-up of a narcissist who happens to have homosexual preferences – and a heterosexual narcissist. They both are predators, consuming Narcissistic Supply Sources as they go. Narcissists look for new victims, the way tigers look for prey – they are hungry. Hungry for adoration, admiration, acceptance, approval. Old sources die easy – once taken for granted, the narcissistic element of conquest vanishes. Conquest is important because it proves the superiority of the narcissist. The very act of subduing, subjugating, or acquiring the power to influence someone provides the narcissist with Narcissistic Supply. The newly conquered is an observer, which idolises the narcissist and a trophy. Moreover, the act of conquering and subordinating is at its apex in the sexual encounter. It is objective and based on the primordial and atavistic. Making love to someone means that you could not resist it, that you found him (or one or more of his traits, his intelligence, his physique, even his money) irresistible.

The distinction between passive and active sexual partners is mechanical, false, superfluous and superficial. Penetration does not make one of the parties “the strong one”. To cause someone to have sex with you is a powerful stimulus – and always provokes a sensation of power. Whether one is physically passive or active – one is always psychosexually active.

AIDS is no longer the reserve of homosexuals. Anyone who engages in unsafe sex is gambling with his life – though the odds are much smaller than public hysteria would have us believe. Reality does not matter, though – it is the perception of reality that matters. You guessed the answer right: getting this close to (perceived) danger is the equivalent of engaging in self-destruction (a.k.a.: suicide). Narcissists are, at times, suicidal.

There is, however, one element, which might be unique to homosexuals: the fact that their self-definition hinges on their sexual identity. I know of no heterosexual who would use his sexual preferences to define himself almost fully. Homosexuality has been inflated to the level of a sub-culture, a separate psychology, or a myth. This is typical of persecuted minorities. However, it does have a feedback influence on the individual. Preoccupation with body and sex would tend to narrow down the types of narcissism available to homosexuals. I would guess that the portion of SOMATIC Narcissists in the population of homosexual narcissists – would be larger than their share in the community of heterosexual narcissists.

Moreover, the homosexual makes love to a person of the SAME sex – in a way, to his REFLECTION. In this respect, homosexual relations are highly narcissistic and auto-erotic affairs.

The Somatic Narcissist directs his libido at his body (as opposed to the cerebral narcissist, who concentrates upon his intellect). He cultivates it, nourishes and nurtures it, is often an hypochondriac, dedicates an inordinate amount of time to its needs (real and imaginary). It is through his body that this narcissist tracks down and captivates his Supply Sources. The supply that he so badly requires is directed at his form, his shape, his build, his profile, his beauty, his physical attractiveness, his health, his age. He downplays Narcissistic Supply directed at other traits of his. He uses sex to reaffirm his prowess, his attractiveness, or his youth. Love, to him, is synonymous with sex and he concentrate his learning skills on the sexual act, the foreplay and the after play. Seduction becomes addictive because it leads to a quick succession of Supply Sources. Naturally, boredom (a form of transmuted aggression) sets in once the going gets routine. Routine is counter-narcissistic by definition because it threatens the narcissist’s sense of uniqueness.

About The Author

Sam Vaknin is the author of Malignant Self Love, and runs the website Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited.Sam has served as the author of the Personality Disorders topic, Narcissistic Personality Disorder topic, the Verbal and Emotional Abuse topic, and the Spousal Abuse and Domestic Violence topic, Suite101.

1 Comment

Becky on December 1, 2015 at 1:10 am

It seems from my experience that the condition of narcissism… How to put this… It seems to result in bisexual activity, sometimes mistaken for homosexuality by observers. The primary indicator for childhood sexual abuse is sociopathy.m i have heard several times of narcs raping dogs. So perhaps it is nothing to do with sexual orientation, but opportunism,mcpntrol of any vulnerable being. Perhaps this is where homosexuals gained a bad reputation. Also perhaps the homosexual narc engages in hetero relationships for the duping reward, for the access to children, and to give the appearance of normalcy that is so important in securing roles such as teacher etc.