The law is an ass – No
matter what you want to do there will have been a time and place when it
was legal and another time and place where it was illegal. The following
are some of the strangest laws that have existed. Be careful some are
still in force.

Scotland

It is illegal to be
possession of a cow while under the influence of drink.

If someone comes to your
house and asks to use of your commode, you must let them enter.

England

It is an offence to
impersonate a Chelsea Pensioner.

A Member of Parliament must
not enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.

Committing suicide is
classified as a capital crime – punishable by death.

Sticking a postage stamp,
bearing the Queens portrait, upside down on an envelope is an act of
treason.

In Chester you are allowed
to shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow provided it is done inside
the city walls and after midnight.

France

Between the hours of 8AM and
8PM, the music played by radio stations must be a minimum of 70% by French
artists.

It is illegal to kiss on
railways.

Pigs must not be called
Napoleon.

Kissing on French railways
is illegal.

Italy

It is illegal to practice
the profession of charlantry.

A man may be imprisoned for
wearing a skirt.

Singapore

It is illegal to perform
oral sex unless it is part of foreplay leading to full sex.

Anyone not flushing a public
toilet may receive a large fine.

A person convicted of
littering three times, will have to clean the streets on Sundays wearing a
sign saying "I am a litter lout."

Relieving yourself in an
elevator is particularly forbidden.

Sweden

Prostitution is legal but
using the services of a prostitute is illegal. – Must make trade rather
difficult!

South Korea

Traffic police are required
to report all bribes that they receive from motorists.

Switzerland

After 10 P.M. a man may not relieve
himself while standing up.

It is perfectly legal to
drink absinth (a type of alcohol), but it is illegal to produce, store or
sell it.

Australia

All taxi cabs must carry a
bale of hay in the trunk.

Victoria

In Victoria only licensed
electricians may change a light bulb.

In Victoria it is illegal to
wear pink pants after midday on a Sunday.

Canada

In Toronto
it is illegal to drag a dead horse down Yonge Street on a Sunday.

Teenagers must not walk down
main street in Fort Qu'Appelle with their shoes untied.

Swear in French has been
outlawed in Montréal.

The owner of a can be fined
if he cannot provide "proper accommodation" for any guest with a
horse.

China

It is illegal to go to
college unless you are intelligent.

Rescuing a drowning person
is not allowed as it would be interfering with their fate.

Denmark

Attempting to escape from
prison is not illegal, however, if caught, the person must serve out the
remainder of his term.

Middle East

In most Middle Eastern
countries following Islamic law is enforced: "After having sexual
relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."

In Lebanon, it is legal for
men to have sex with female animals. However, having sexual relations with
a male animal is punishable by death.

In Indonesia the penalty for
masturbation is decapitation.

In Hong Kong a betrayed wife
is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, provided she does so
with her bare hands. The husband's lover, quite rightfully, may be killed
in any desired way.

In Singapore, it is against
the law to not flush the toilet after using it. Special police randomly
check on public restrooms and violators are publicly caned.

Only blood donors are
allowed to duel in Uruguay.

USA

Alabama

Driving
a vehicle while blindfolded is prohibited.

Arkansas:

The
Little Rock parliament passed a law forbidding the Arkansas River to rise
higher than the level of the Main Street Bridge.

In Mobile, pigeons are
prohibited from eating the pebbles on composite roofs.

Anyone caught causing
"unseemly laughter" by wearing a false moustache in church will
be arrested.

It is forbidden for a man
may beat his wife more than once a month

It is illegal to
mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.

Alaska

In Fairbanks, moose are
forbidden from having sex on the city streets.

By law no child is allowed
to build a snowman taller than himself within school grounds.

California

In California it is illegal
to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.

In Berkeley, before 7 A.M.,
it's against the law to whistle in an attempt to find your lost canary.

It is illegal to peel an
orange in a hotel room.

It is forbidden for anyone
to ride a bicycle in a Baldwin Park swimming pool

In Glendale horror films may
only be shown on a Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday

It is against the law to
drive more than 2000 sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at a time.

Hunting moths under
streetlights has been banned in Los Angeles.

Washing two babies in the
same tub is forbidden in Los Angeles.

Colorado

In
the state of Denver, it is against the law to lend your vacuum cleaner to
your next-door neighbour.

In Logan County a man must
not kiss a woman while she is asleep.

Growing dandelions is
illegal in Pueblo.

Connecticutt

Nobody in Devon is allowed
to walk backwards after sunset.

In Delaware it is illegal
for a person to pawn his wooden leg.

In Hartford, it is illegal
to kiss your wife on Sunday.

Delaware
A local law, in Lowes Crossroads, forbids any pilot or passenger from
carrying an ice cream cone in their pocket while flying or waiting to
board a plane.

District of Columbia

Sex
is illegal unless performed in the missionary position.

Florida

Women
may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as well as the salon
owner.
Sexual relations with a porcupine is quite illegal.It is illegal to sing in a
public place while wearing a swimsuit.
Imitating animals is against the law in Miami.
Have sexual relations with a porcupine is
a bad ideal – for legal as well as other obvious reasons.

It is illegal to fart in a
public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.

No divorced woman may
parachute on Sunday afternoons.

Georgia
In Atlanta, you are not permitted to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or
street lamp.
It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro.

In Quitman a chicken may not
cross the road – no jokes please!
It is a misdemeanour for anyone to attend church worship on Sunday, unless
equipped with a loaded rifle.

Women,
in Pocataligo, weighing over 200 pounds and wearing shorts must not pilot
an aeroplane.

Hawaii

Inserting pennies into your
ear is forbidden.

Illinois

It
is against the law to make faces at dogs.

Talking English has been
banned because the state language is "American."

Barber in Elkhart are not
permitted threaten to cut off a child’s ear.

Bees must not fly over
through its streets of Kirkland.

A monster is not allowed
within the Urbana city limits – okay – so you tell it.

A law in Oblong, Illinois,
forbids love making while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

Wearing pyjamas while
fishing is prohibited in Chicago.

Indiana

For
a four hours period, after eating garlic, citizens are not permitted to
attend a cinema or theatre.

On Fridays the 13th all
black cats in French Lick Springs must wear belts.

It is illegal to carry fish
tackle into a cemetery in Muncie.

Iowa

A
kiss must not last for more than five minutes.

Transvestites are prohibited
from wearing shoes with heels measuring more than 2 and one-quarter inches
high.

Horses in Marshalltown are
forbidden to eat fire hydrants.

Kansas

Everyone must bathe at least
once a year.

Walk down a street in
Lawrence while carrying bees in his hat is a crime.

A wife may successfully file
for divorcé on the grounds that her husband mistreated her mother.

Kentucky

Any
female wishing to bathe on any highway within this state must escorted by
at least two officers or be armed with a club However, this statute shall
not apply to any female weighing more than 200 pounds.

Legally,
regardless of how much a person has had to drink he is considered sober
until he "cannot hold onto the ground."
In Frankfurt: shoot off a police man's tie is considered unlawfull.

In Kentucky it is illegal to
marry the same man more than 3 times. ( and probably pretty dumb too )

Louisiana
Catching lizards is fine by day but is prohibited at night.
It is illegal to shoot at the a bank teller with a water pistol while
robbing a bank.Biting
someone with your natural teeth is assault, but biting someone with your
false teeth is aggravated assault

It is an offence to wear an
alligator costume

Maryland
In Baltimore, it's illegal to take a lion to the movies.

A woman is prohibited from
going through her husband's pockets while he is sleeping.

Oysters are protected by law
from being mistreated.

Massachusetts

Tomatoes
must not be put in clam chowder.

It
is illegal to go to bed without first having a bath. Yet another law
prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.

Mourners
at a wake in Boston must not eat more than three sandwiches each.

In 1659 Christmas was made
illegal - humbug.

A license is required beforea goatee beard can be grown.

Only after all bedroom
windows are closed and locked is it legal to snore.

Diapers must not be
delivered on a Sunday.

The only place in Winchester
where tightrope walking is permitted is outside a church.

Taking a bath in Boston is
illegal unless one has been ordered to do so by a physician.

Michigan

A
woman is not allowed to cut her hair without her husband's consent,
because he legally owns her hair.
In Clawson City, it is perfectly legal for a farmer to sleep with his
horses, goats, pigs, cows and chickens. ( makes for a rather crowded bed )

In Minnesota it is illegal
to cross a state line with a duck on your head.

In Detroit it is illegal to
wilfully destroy your radio.

A man in Detroit must not
scowl at his wife on Sunday – oh well at least that leaves six other
days a week.

The rather unromantic governors of Kalamazoo dictate that men
are not allowed to serenade girls.

In Minnesota, it's illegal
to tease skunks.

In Minnesota women may face
up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.

Mississippi:
No person shall shave in the middle of the street in Tylertown
In Bourbon there is a law prohibiting turtle races being held at
the airport
It is forbidden to shoot squirrels in a courtroom in Canton.

Montana

In
Bozeman, a law prohibits sexual activity between members of the opposite
sex in the front yard of a home after sundown - but only if they're nude.
( You must practice safe sex and wear socks – well you're safe from the
law at least!)It is a felony for a wife to open her
husband's mail

New Hampshire

By law you are forbidden to
tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a
tavern, restaurant, or café.

New York

In
New York City women can ride the city subways topless.

In
Carmel, is not allowed to be seen in public wearing a jacket and pants
that do not match. (well that’s understandable)

A man greeting another by“placing the end of
his thumb against the tip of his nose and wiggling the extended fingers of
that hand." Will be arrested for disorderly conduct.

Playing golf in the streets
of Albany is forbidden.

Brooklyn donkeys are not
allowed to sleep in bathtubs.

On Staten Islanda man is not permitted tocall his son a faggot or queer in the hope
that it will cure his ‘girlish’ behaviour.

North Carolina

Having sex in a churchyard
is strictly prohibited.

Elephant must not be used
plough fields.

A law has been passed which
bans hurricanes from entering Topsail Beach city limits.

Ohio
In Cleveland it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

In
Paulding, a policeman is allowed to bite a dog in order to stop it
barking.

Selling corn flakes on a
Sunday, in Columbus, is forbidden.
You can be arrested in Youngstown, if you run out of petrol.

People wearing a Santa Claus
outfit must not advertise beer.

If you must through a snake
at someone avoid Toledo.

Causing a fish to become
intoxicated is against the law.

In Shawnee three or more
dogs are not permitted to meet on private property without the consent of
the owner.

Oregon

In
Willowdale cursing while having sex with his wife is totally taboo.

Also in Willowdale a husband
may not whisper sweat nothings into his wife's ear during sex if the sweet
nothings are in any way ‘dirty’

Pennsylvania

It is an offence for a
housewife to sweep dust, out of sight, under a rug.

A man must obtain written
consent from his wife if he wishes to purchase alcohol.

Have sex with a truck driver
in a Harrisburg toll booth should be avoided for you are likely to be
arrested.

In Morrisville, woman
must gain a permit to put on make-up.

Rhode Island

In Providence a tooth brush
and toothpaste must not be sold to the same person on a Sunday.

Tennessee

It is illegal lasso to catch
fish with a lasso.

A Dyersburg woman mustnot call a man and ask for a date.

San Francisco

Tripping
horses for entertainment has now been made illegal.

Animals
are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or
place of worship.

In
Cupertino, it is illegal to count backwards audibly in hexadecimal.

South Carolina

Eating watermelons in the
Magnolia Cemetery is strictly forbidden

Tennessee

It
is against the law to shoot deer from a moving automobile but whales may
be.

In
Memphis, it is illegal to sell teddy bears on a Sunday.

Texas
It is illegal to put graffiti on another person’s cow.

Pigs,
in Kingsville, are prohibited from having sex on the city's airport
property.

A stoke of genius saw the
creation of a law which dictates that criminal must give their victims 24
hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of
the crime the intend committing.
In Clarendon, it is against the law to dust any public building with a
feather duster.
It is an offence to carry a sword or a spear to a polling place
In Clarendon lawyers must accept eggs, chickens, and other produce as
payment of legal fees.

Vermont
It is forbidden to deny the existence of God
If a women wishes to wear false teeth she must first obtain written
permission from her husband.

Whistle under water is
against the law.

Virginia

Hens are not permitted to
lay eggs before 8 am or after 4 pm

In Lebenon it is a crime for
a man to kick his wife out of bed

In Richmond flipping a coin
to decide who pays the bill in a café is illegal.

In Norfolk, a woman must not
go out unless wearing a corset. Corset inspector were introduced to
enforce the law – some people have all the lousy jobs.)

West Virginia

Huntington firemen must not
whistle at or flirt with any woman who is passing the firehouse.

In Nicholas County clergyman
are not permitted to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during
a service.

Washington

In
a cunning plan to reduce crime a law was passed which requires all
motorists with criminal intents to telephone the Chief of Police before
crossing the city limits.

Lollipops
are illegal. ( this has created a sub-culture of lollipop dealers )

By
law having sex with a virgin under any circumstances is illegal – even
on the wedding night!
In Bellingham, it is illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps
backwards while dancing.
Citizens of Seattle must not carry a concealed weapon that is over six
feet in length.

Wisconsin

In
a rather prudish move the Governors of Connorsville have made it illegal
for a man to shoot off a gun when his partner has an orgasm.

In
Milwaukee, parking a car for over two hours is not allowed unless a horse
is tied onto it.