coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success,
or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen. - john le carre

Monday, January 17, 2011

Live-Blog the Second! "Downton Abbey"

Good morning! Welcome back to part two of the Feminist Librarian (A), Minerva (M), Crowgirl (H) (this is a totally transparent pseudonym, but it amuses me) liveblog of Downton Abbey!

9.10: [Maggie Smith: "You amaze me."] General laughter, applause. H. Oh, God, I love everything she says. M: She is made of win!

9.11: [as Mary pokes Matthew] M: Did I just detect a slight on masculinity? A: I think you did. M: And class. [as butler picks up small silver item] H: Oh...oh, that was unfortunately shaped... A: Oh, yeah... M: What was it? A: I don't know... it... it was dildo-shaped.

9.32: [Matthew and Molesley] M: Oh...you're trying! H: Oh, that's so sweet. M: It's like you watch him visibly propping up the other man's ego with teeny little pieces of silver. H: There. You did the right thing. It's stupid, but you did the right thing. M: It's almost there --- smiiiile! You just made your valet smile!

9.43: [mother reads letter] M: Then you'd best learn to say his name right. H: Oh, and international politics clash with class politics. Oh, God, lady...shut up. M: I like how they're trying to simulate these kind of Grecian flowing dresses...with a corset underneath!

9.47: [as hunt begins] H: What is that? Fruitcake? Gingerbread? Fruitcake? A: Chocolate? H: She was cutting it with a serrated knife. A: Oh, dear, someone's going to break their neck. H: That's fine. M: At least the tension will be justified.

9.48: [as Turkish diplomat shows up] M: Oh...and, Lady Mary -- "Pardon me while I close my legs tighter! Maybe I'll ride in front of him and give him a good view of my bottom!" H: I know that theme! That's from The Piano! Stop it! H: Is she going to get all dramatic and fall off her horse showing off? M: We do need a wounded young lady! A: We're nearly three hours into this! M: What do they call it? We need some hurt/comfort -- I'm sorry... [laughter]

9.50: [Mary and diplomat] H: Hunting and metaphor for sex. M: How much more cliche can you get? H: That horse did not take that jump in one go! M: You will take the jump and you will fall and you will have a Marianne/Willoughby moment...what a dismal end...

9.51: [as middle daughter and Matthew explore church] M: Oh, God...you're not doing this -- you are! This is why men are dumb! H: Oh, how boring...

9.52: [as Thomas scopes out guests: "Is that one mine?"] Hysterical laughter. A: Once again we have footman and eldest daughter in competition for the same man...they really need to coordinate their schedules! M: She's positively breathless. Everyone in the room wants to shag him! A: He's not that tasty! H: He's pretty damned tasty.

9.57: [as diplomat propositions Mary] M: Okay, that was creepy! H: Yeah -- it was! M: That was "I like to tie you up and flog you" and not in a "You will enjoy it" kind of way. H: Well, she's not gonna marry him; he's not English; we're not doing that kind of story. M: But she can be disgraced by him.

9.59: M has left the room momentarily.

10.00: [diplomat stalking Mary] A: It was a mistake to make this the one foreign guy. Could we not make this the one Turkish guy? H: Yeah.... oh, she's gonna be talked into it... She isn't being very...fierce in her resistance here. A: [long sigh] H: Oh, dear... A: Like heavy, heavy coercion here... H: This is not 'sweet funny romantic music' moment. A: That is not a happy face. Ugh.

10.01: [approx.] And M has returned. :)

10.02: [someone wakes Anna] A: You go to the maid 'cause the maid always knows what to do. Uhhhh... H: The fuck?! He's dead....! Someone went to get Mom! Whoa!

10.03: M: Did he do a lot of cocaine? [as they carry body in sheet] H: They've got him in a sheet! M: But...the footman knows. H: And Daisy knows!

10.05: [Mary with body] M: Beautiful things -- not always good! A: And he tried to rape you -- would have! It was just the fact that he wasn't in the room and wouldn't leave. M: God...that mother just...like loses points in my respect scale. Like...by moments. A: And it's very unclear what she's expecting to get. H: And -- Thomas has a nasty moment.

10.06: [as Evelyn propositions Mary for garden] H: Does she have beer-flavored nipples? [manic laughter] M: She must have beer-flavored nipples -- she has a horrible attitude.

10.10 [Mom and Napier] H: That was...nice. About one of the most civil ways that conversation could have gone. [Lord and Carson discuss death] Laughter and applause. ["They are finer and more fragile than our own."] M: [laughter] They moved the body!

10.11: ["No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house."] H: Oh, Maggie, you are gold. M: Something makes me think that Grandma was a lot like Mary and she gives Mary a lot of slack. A: And she has a great deal of interest in getting Mary to have the money.

10.14: [Carson and Mary chat] H: And Mary gets philosophical... A: They must have gotten further along on more amiable terms than either of us thought. M: Either that, or she's happy she's alive. H: She's just having survivor glee. ["I don't feel it."] M: Just wait 'til your breasts start sagging, honey...

10.18: [housekeeper and Bates to lake] M: Yes, go, you. Go you, little buddy! H: Now throw that fucker. There! You got a good overarm! M: Yeah! That was a cricket swing -- I mean a cricket throw.

10.20: [new chauffeur] H [snorking desperately: Oh....and the new Irishman would be interested in history and politics! M: God, I love those little outfits... H: My soul hurts...

10.22: [Maggie Smith on foreigners] M: ...What? I...what? A: We can't worry about foreigners otherwise we'd collapse every time we opened a newspaper.

And we're done!

I do have to say that I got sick of typing "Dowager Lady," and it was just quicker to type Maggie Smith -- I do not believe the Dame believes any of the nonsense she spouts here! I am not attributing opinions or attitudes.

Harriet Jones being awesome.

Plus, if you're wondering why I continually refer to Mrs. Crawley as Harriet Jones -- and that is who I mean -- then look here and learn: "Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North." :)

A: If we end up with Mary marrying the lawyer -- we've just come full circle. M: Yeah, if the youngest daughter marries him, then she travels... A: And she would have the imagination he has to look at the manner in a different way.

Halfway through the show! Guesses all 'round...

A: So the little redhaired girl is going to go off to be a secretary.

M: Bates and whatsherface need to come to some kind of agreement. Understanding.

A: Yeah.

H: Thomas needs...a shagging or a comeuppance...

M: Thomas is going to blackmail his way out of that house.

A: He's going to use that information to get himself leverage somewhere, somehow.

M: I do think it will backfire.

A: Yeah, he's going to try. I don't know what O'Brien wants...but she's going to be there with him.

M: Her motivation, other than being spiteful, is...

A: If she was acting as if the family was under threat...but she hates everyone!

M: I think she just wants to see people ruined.

A: It's a very malicious sort of...youngest daughter needs to find some sort of voice.

M: She's gettin' close. Middle daughter -- all middle daughter is going to end up a little shafted in this story.

A: Which is sad. But yeah. I want to see Maggie Smith and Harriet Jones...

H: Go at it. Oh, god, yes.

M: ...preferably in that little cottage parlor. Epic.

[General agreement and headnodding]

Okay, if you desire more, bug them or me! Goodnight and see you next week!

2 comments:

Fun! I finally got to see this one. Maybe Thomas will get both a shag and a comeuppance? So annoying how everyone kept referring to Pamuk as such a "nice" man, including Mary. I guess Thomas knows the truth, but he himself is of course not above rudeness. Still felt bad for him.

@Elleoneiram: Nice to see you back! I'm in favor of a two-fer for Thomas, I have to say -- it would seem a real shame if he's only there to serve as a whipping-boy for the plot. Still, pretty much everyone different in the story so far is a whipping boy -- also a shame.

It was really annoying that Pamuk was the "nice guy" even after the audience got a clear eyeful of how not nice he was! Still, I have to say the room rang with laughter when Mary dragged Anna out into the hallway: "He's dead!" Uh -- what was it the two of you did exactly?!