Dick Flicks

I was halfway through a lengthy point-by-point review of what makes this movie so bad before I realized that A) I have enormous respect for the writers (for their other works) and don’t want to hurt their feelings, and B) it’s just not worth that much review.

“It was a dark and stormy night.” That’s basically how “Shutter Island” opens. But director Martin Scorsese and screenwriter Laeta Kalogridis (adapting Dennis Lehane’s novel) use this formulaic premise to spin a far more arresting, emotional, and thought-provoking story than most films of any genre.

With Denzel Washington and John Travolta headlining, I expected a solid action romp bursting with fireworks. But “The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3” takes it a few steps farther, thanks to screenwriter Brian Helgeland’s insightful adaptation of John Godey’s novel.

Screenwriter John August is well-known for his inventive adventures with director Tim Burton, and their adaptation of Daniel Wallace’s novel “Big Fish,” while more grounded in the real world than one might expect, will not disappoint fans of any of these men’s work.

This is not, as everyone asks, the true and inspiring story of that immuno-deficient kid who lived in a plastic bubble as played by John Travolta in the 70s. This overlooked gem from director Blair Hayes and writers Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio bursts into an entirely different dimension of filmmaking. In a good way.

It’s formulaic, it’s shallow, it’s historically inaccurate. And it’s far, far better than it has any right to be. Ridley Scott’s “Gladiator” is Dick Flick in its purest form, and it’s a shining example of how to do it right.

Everyone knows the story of Robin Hood, played in this version by Kevin Costner, so only a snippet of synopsis is required: He steals from the rich, he gives to the poor, he’s been banished by Prince John and is adored and aided by just about everyone else. Screenwriters Pen Densham and John Watson give us some of everything here, a bit of origin story, a lively bout with the familiar characters, a good dose of honest thievery and flying arrows, and a few novel twists.

Laeta Kalogridis. Famous for “Shutter Island” (screenwriter) and “Avatar” (producer). Writer/producer for the short-lived “Birds of Prey” TV series and the “Bionic Woman” reboot. I mention the last two with regret; I was a big fan of both. So I was excited to see Kalogridis’ take on this spin of the intruder-goes-native flick, based on Nils Gaup’s 1987 script.