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all yall mutha fuckas need to get a fucking life and stop hatin on my man the system is designed to bring the black succesful man down and thats what yall TRYIN to do but i aint gonna let it happen go fuck yourselfs [link]

My name is Kimberly ****** and I am from New Jersey. I am 13 years of age with a voice of Mariah Carey. I am not trying to brag or seem conceeded about myself either. I just wanted to let all of you know that I am young and I am looking to do and make something of my talent. I have a God's gift and I am not going to sit around and wait for it to be taken away. And just like P. Diddy, I take my talent seriously... [link]

Now keep in mind while going through the mailbag (good for hours and hours of free entertainment) that I basically haven't touched the site since 1998. At all. It has been updated exactly once (when Puffy changed his name to P. Diddy) since then, other than to add to the mailbag 2-3 times a year. But still the hate mail pours in... Hey, at least it's nice to be playah-hated on for another site of mine for a change.
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Thursday, August 28, 2003

Sixty minute man...give or take fiftyRapper Busta Rhymes has made a somewhat unusual request for his backstage room at tonight's MTV Music Awards. He wants two boxes of condoms. Personally, I don't find the request all that impressive Mr. Rhymes -- although I'm quite sure that was your intent. The average box of condoms has 12 each for a grand total of 24 requested condoms. The awards ceremony is slated at 3 hours long. Add in another hour for pre-show preparations, and you've got 4 hours total. Divide 240 minutes by 24 condoms, and you get exactly 10 minutes per lay -- not accounting for the time you might actually be presenting, performing, and/or in the audience. My what stamina you've got there, Busta. *swoon*

This is what I call "disturbing news". A mistake is about to be made. A fork in the road of history is about to be reached. And to be honest, I'm not sure there is anything we can do about it.

Word is that Disney will be closing the door on traditional 2-D animation in the coming months, and if you were an employee in the animation studios, you were either told to drop your pen and paintbrush and pick up a computer, or you were shown the door.

Traditional animators are a dying breed in the new 3-D culture at Walt
Disney, as Michael Eisner declares that "2-D is dead". Eisner has panicked given the poor box office that movies like Atlantis and Treasure Planet, for example, have shown. Disney has two traditional animated features in the pipeline for the coming year, Brother Bear and Home on the Range. Those are expected to be the last feature films featuring 2-D hand-drawn animation that Disney produces.

The same thing is happening at Dreamworks, where Jeffery Katzenberg had, in the past, made it his mission to reinvent classical animation. Well, after Katzenberg had flops of his own in Sinbad: Legend of the
Seven Seas and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (I guess every
Dreamworks title has to be subtitled...), he too is panicking and
beginning to focus exclusively on computer animated features.

What probably didn't help these gentlemen in their irrational thought processes is that Pixar studios, makers of the excellent Toy Story films, A Bug's Life and Monsters Inc. just had a tremendous box office smash hit with the computer animated Finding Nemo.

What they failed to realize through visions of dollar signs dancing in their heads, is that although Pixar is a CG studio, it is first and foremost a teller of compelling stories. And therein lies the fatal error that Disney and Dreamworks have yet to discover.

Take a look at the film that won the inaugural Oscar for Best Animated Feature - Hayao Miyazaki's Spirited Away. This feature was almost entirely hand drawn, painstakingly, over a process of several years. Miyazaki himself is intimately involved with every frame of his films, and the quality shows. He has been rewarded for it.

But there is something more sinister at work here, and that is the potential loss of an art form so that these animation houses can continue to churn out low quality stories in order to sell more cross merchandised junk. It started to happen sometime not long ago. The studios became more interested in selling you the toys, clothes, and food items that were branded with the films name, than actually telling you a story.

The problems with the traditional animated studios are deep here in the U.S. Above and beyond the inability within the last five years to put together a film that actually tells a story that is worth seeing, one of the biggest errors that animated film producers have made recently is an asinine use of Hollywood film actors to voice the characters of their animated fare instead of hiring voice talent that's trained to do that kind of work. Why are Brad Pitt and Michael J. Fox and Catherine Zeta-Jones doing voice work? They aren't voice actors. They're just actors, and often poor ones at that. I have found famous voices
distracting in animated features for years, and voiced that opinion regularly. The quality of the voice acting has gone down since the early 90s when films like Aladdin and The Little Mermaid served as a renaissance for Disney.

3-D animation continues to look fake as well. There is something distracting in it visually that I can't place my finger on yet, and I can't quite suspend disbelief at times. Granted, a compelling story will help alleviate this a great deal, but aside from Pixar and Dreamworks' Shrek (which could have been a lot better than it was), no one is producing quality 3-D animated stories right now. The horrible Final Fantasy comes to mind as a computer animated film (with Hollywood voice talent) that just wasn't ready to be made, technology wise or vis-a-vis the storyline.

I feel that 3-D animation is really a novelty right now, and audiences are seeing some of these films just for the "wow" factor of "look what they can do with computers". As the audience's tolerance level matures, I suspect we will see a corresponding drop in the numbers of computer animated film revenue - so long as they cannot tell a compelling story.

Let us all hope that an art form is not lost forever as thousands of pen and paintbrush animators are kicked to the curb because of the severe lack of vision from the heads of these studios. I don't want to see all computer animated films. I suspect no one really does. What is it going to take to save traditional animation? Don Bluth jumped ship from Disney years ago and produced amazing films such as The Secret of NIMH and An American Tail, successfully challenging his former employer and forcing them to rethink their entire game. We should all hope that a star emerges from cuts at these animation studios that can rise up and again challenge them and force compelling animated stories to be told on their own merit.
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I'll never forget camping out overnight for hours back in college with Kitty down in Dallas for tickets to the '92 show -- Chili Peppers, Ministry, Ice Cube, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Lush, and Jesus and the Mary Chain. Or the euphoria we felt for being so close to the front of the line. Or the sheer letdown when they started handing out numbers just before the tickets went on sale, meaning your place in line meant absolutely nothing -- the number you were assigned meant your order. (Yep, some of the little hellions that showed up an hour before the tickets went on sale ended up with better seating options than we did.) Or the kick in the gut I received for getting the worst case of food poisoning in my life the day before the show and watching my roommate take off for Big D with the tickets I'd stood in line for -- and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. But $53.50 to see Jane's Addiction, A Perfect Circle, Jurassic 5, Incubus, Audioslave, Rooney, and The Donnas today? I think I'll pass... Thanks for the memories.
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Sunday, August 24, 2003

You make me feel like dancingBlender has named the 50 worst artists in music history. The only one that left me scratching my head and saying "huh?" was The Doors at #37. C'mon people. You gave up a spot on the list for Leo Sayer for that? Other than said-Doors CD -- here are the CDs I've purchased or owned by other bands on the list:

Tin Machine - Tin Machine - at #12 (Bowie in the $1.99 bin ain't all bad...ok, maybe this time it is)

Richard Marx - Richard Marx - at #30 (it was the best of times, it was the worst of times)

Blind Melon - Soup - at #40 (Galaxie is one of my all-time favorite songs so deal with it)

The Spin Doctors - Pocket Full of Kryptonite - at #46 (you show me the early 90s college student without a copy, or a copy of a copy of this CD, or a roommate sans one of the above, and I'll call you a freakin' liar)

Toad the Wet Sprocket - Fear - at #49 (actually I didn't buy this one, it was a gift from someone that knew I liked "All I Want")

Maybe you'll get a replacement - there's plenty like me to be found"It’s hard to take seriously anyone reminscing on the ’70s who was born in 1981. Cough - Kelly Rowland - cough." Test Pattern on VH1's new series "I Love the 70s"

"I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they're great ... and they are. They are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn't enough. You're out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you're strung out on bedspreads Ken. That's serious."
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Dude, where's my General Lee?You have GOT to be kidding me... Ashton Kutcher is remaking "The Dukes of Hazzard" movie-style. (He'll play Luke Duke and Paul Walker will play Bo Duke.) But who has Ashton handed the part of Daisy Duke over to, you might ask? None other than Britney Spears. Give me a break. I'd put Shannon Elizabeth in that role long before the teen queen. Who would you cast in the role(s)?

D-I-V-O-R-C-ESo I predicted "and they said it wouldn't last" way back in March 2002... (By now I'm sure you've all heard that Liza Minnelli and David Gest have split.) I know, I know. I was too shaken this weekend to even blog about it. Well new reports are suggesting the divorce battle is gonna get ugly -- and I don't think we're just talking close-up photographs of the pair either. So pull up a chair. I've got the popcorn!
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Would you care for a suckle of my zipple?"We wanted to call it The New TNN -- The Nipple Network -- but then again we thought maybe Spike Lee had a nipple and we might get sued for that!" Pamela Anderson, on the new Spike TV and Spike Lee's battle with Viacom over the name
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Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Black coat, white shoes, black hat, CadillacSo I just wrote Dave Letterman's CBS Mailbag for the first time ever. Inquiring minds wanna know... What gives with the dark suits, dark loafers, and (always) white socks? These are the little things that keep me awake at night.
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Icy Cokes, thick shakes, sundaes and apple pies

"And God populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man would live a long and healthy life.

But Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the double cheeseburger. And McDonald's said to Man 'You want fries with that?' And Man gained pounds." Author Unknown

I want candyI need something light and fluffy around here right now...so hows-about we all share our favorite childhood candy? Mine, hands down, would have to be Zotz. I loved to make those suckers foam up in my mouth. ('Splains a lot doesn't it?) Here's a few ideas to get you started...

You've got fires banked down in you - hearth-fires and holocaustsThis is something I was so upset about when I heard the news last night, I couldn't even bring myself to blog about it. We named one of the twins we lost Katharine, a name we'd had picked out for years. I figured what greater gift to give a woman, than to be named after someone so wise, strong and independent. That should just about say it all. Rest in peace, Ms. Hepburn. You will never be equaled.

Call me...on the lineThings that do not help someone with 'stomach issues' while stuck in bed for the weekend... Endless loops of the new James Carville "infone" commercials. Now, I don't hate the man. Most do -- I don't. I happen to find him amusing most of the time. So sue me. But if I have to see his boxer-wearing, bare-legged, calf-scratching pasty gams one more time this weekend -- I'm thinking of bringing a class-action lawsuit. Want in? It's...icky.
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Tuesday, June 24, 2003

The chicken danceJason Alexander has been fired as the KFC spokesman. Sure, sure it's most likely because he pressured them to be more ethical with the raising and killing of their chickens... But I can guarantee you I'll be buying one of their products before I'll be watching another one of his! Good riddance.

Diamonds are a girl's best friendOk, here is something I don't get... Why do people insist on packing jewelry in their luggage when they fly? You hear stories of people losing it all the time. Do they honestly expect bag handlers to hold their bags with white gloves, gingerly placing them on bubble-wrap covered conveyor belts? Rapper Lil' Kim had $250,000 worth of jewels stolen from her luggage at NYC's JFK Airport last Friday. The jewelry stolen included a "white and yellow diamond-encrusted gold necklace with a crowned 'B', and platinum dog tags filled with yellow diamonds". I wouldn't put costume jewelry in my bags for fear it would be mistaken -- much less a quarter-mil worth of it! If you're that stupid, you pretty much deserve what you get in my opinion. Sorry, but I just do not feel sorry for you dearie... I feel sorry for your insurance company.

Whoomp! There it is...We're watching a cool show on the History Channel right now -- "Comic Book Superheroes Unmasked". I wish they'd offered a class like this back when I was in college...

Which also brings me to, a brand new group 'comic blog' that Michele just launched called Four Color Hell. "Simply, this is a blog about comics. Reviews, essays, rants and raves, industry news - anything at all to do with comics." So there you have it!
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Thursday, June 19, 2003

Let's get physicalIt's quickly becoming a Thursday tradition...it's time to play "let's slam J-Lo"...

Curvy singer-actress Jennifer Lopez demanded museum bosses in London make her Madame Tussaud's waxwork more slimline.
The sexy star was reportedly unhappy with the famous museum's newly installed model of her -- particularly their interpretation of her trademark bottom.

So Lopez, who often boasted how proud she is of her voluptuous derriere, asked Tussaud's to shave 10 pounds of wax off her behind.

A museum source tells Britain's the Daily Star, "We always show artists and managers the final waxwork of themselves.

"It's only fair -- but with J.Lo, she wasn't too pleased.

"She suggested we'd gone a bit off on her behind, so we offered to rake some away.

"All in all she wanted about 10 pounds to be taken off, [and] naturally we meet the star's wishes." [link]

You'll shut me down with a push of your button"Art*o*mat machines are retired cigarette vending machines that have been converted to vend art. Currently, there are 49 active machines in museums and various locations throughout the country. The experience of pulling the knob alone is quite a thrill, but you also walk away with an original work of art. Ker-plunk! What an easy way to become an art collector." For more visit the Art*o*mat website.

Hulk smash!Is anyone else as bugged by the CGI animation in the Hulk trailers as I am? It just looks so fake, cheap and cartoonish. I was really excited when the first trailer came out with Spider-Man last year (which didn't show the Hulk character yet), but the more new ones they release on TV now with him, the more annoyed I get. Maybe I'll change my mind if I read a few good reviews once it's released, but I'm no longer dying to see it on opening day -- and that's really disappointing!
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Friday, June 13, 2003

Yes, words can't bring me downOk seriously, it was time the girl ate something. Anything. And far be it from me to cast the first Twinkie when a sistah puts on a few pounds. Especially in this anorexic entertainment day and age. But honey, honey, honey -- you cannotdress like your former size-0 hoin' self when you're just...not...anymore. It's not even that you're "fat", regardless of what the 15-year olds on FARK and SE wanna say. Truth be known, you're probably still smaller than I am. But then again, I don't leave the house in three strips of electrical tape and some fishnet either...
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I'm not that innocent

"London's Madame Tussaud's museum are making an image of the singer [Britney Spears] that features her in a sexy pole-dancing pose, with her back arched and chest thrust out.

They will also incorporate a 'breathing' mechanism in the $73,000 likeness.

A source tells Britain's the Sun, 'For the first time we are installing balloons in her chest so it heaves in and out.'" [link]

Can someone please explain to me how exactly the wax version differs from the real version then? Happy Friday the 13th everyone!
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Thursday, June 12, 2003

Don't try this at homeI'm not feeling so hot this evening, so we're curled up on the couch watching the "That's Incredible" Reunion. I'm not sure which is more incredible. The stunts. Or that thing John Davidson calls 'hair' on the top of his head...
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If she's a virgin, I'm up for sainthood

"Jennifer Lopez is virtually a virgin, according to loved-up Ben Affleck. The woman's been with, like, five guys in her whole life,' announced gallant Ben, exposing the intimate details of his fiancee's love life in a recent interview. 'There aren't many virgins in their thirties,' he said, having evidently hunted high and Lo. 'Jen's about as close as you're likely to find, certainly in Hollywood.' This kind of logic seems also to have infected pure-as-driven-Snowpez. 'I have such respect for the institution of marriage,' opined the Latina lovely after a raunchy photo shoot. 'I don't believe people should spend their lives together if they're not going to be totally happy.' A woman of principle, it has taken three weddings and counting for her to prove just how much respect she has for holy bond of matrimony." [link]

And in other Dumb and Dumberer news, Jennifer has apparently fired the manager responsible for her meteoric rise to the top because fiancé Ben 'made it clear he was not happy with the way her image was being managed'. A source says, "He hated how Benny [Medina] created this diva image of Jen. It was like the studio was dealing with two stars not one. And she was blamed for it. Jennifer never really cared. Benny made her." Mmmm...hmmm... She's a diva because Benny made it look that way. Not because she's a money-grubbing, tantrum-throwing, twat-snot. Yep, that must be it! (Read more at The Daily Dish.)
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Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Show mommy how the piggies eatOh wonderful. Another year of "poor, fat Renee" jokes -- and how amazing she is for losing all that weight -- ahead. They're making a sequel to "Bridget Jones's Diary". You have to pity her for these 'grueling preparations' that take 'guts':

"You've got to eat 20 [doughnuts] a day for five weeks to get results...absolutely no exercise and a daily intake of 4,700 calories. Breakfast is a Big Mac and large fries, savoury scones with gravy and a high-fat milkshake. A snack lunch includes pizza, peanut butter and chips, washed down with the aforementioned doughnuts...a giant plate of spaghetti Bolognese with potatoes and butter." [link]

Getting paid 15 million pounds for that? Where do I sign up? Personally, I think she looks much better when you can't count the individual bones in her ribcage area...but that's just me...
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Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Come up and see me, make me smileYes, you're funny -- but if you make me tear up one more time, Dat Phan -- I'm coming to Vegas to personally kick your ass. This is a comedy show!

Mohr, Mohr, Mohr!Finally, a "reality TV" show we can all watch without living with a secret shame... Jay Mohr's "Last Comic Standing" has its two-hour debut tonight on NBC. Oh yeah!
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"...I especially apologize to Ms Hayek, who is nothing if not brilliant, with a loving relationship and a massive IQ, not to mention a firm grip and style with the English language." Courtney Love [link]

I ran across this whilst hunting for images to go on another site tonight. Just had to pass it along. Hmmm...I wonder if the Krispy Kreme "hot sign" is on?
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Thursday, June 5, 2003

They had style - they had graceNow this could be something... Gwen Stefani is about to sign on to play silver screen starlet Jean Harlow in Martin Scorsese's "Aviator" about the life of Howard Hughes. Leonardo DiCaprio will star as Hughes. Cate Blanchett is in talks to play Katharine Hepburn, and Kate Beckinsale as Ava Gardner. It should be interesting to watch this one unfold.
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"I think that's one of the only reasons God created celebrities. To help those who can't help themselves." Milla Jovovich

"...I wasn't about to wear some golf shirt with a collar. I went out on the links in three-inch high heels and barely anything on and they didn't seem to mind." Mariah Carey, announcing her desire to design a new line of golf clothing (just announced on Rome)

"I know Miss Lopez is supposed to have a reputation as a bit of a diva, but this is ridiculous." Monaco Grand Prix insider, after J-Lo was passed up for Naomi Campbell and Helena Christensen when first-class flights for herself, fiancé Ben Affleck and entourage, five nights in a hotel and a $25,000 fee weren't enough for her appearance (she demanded $412,000 and was ceremoniously uninvited)

"He and the rest of this production's cast are so desperately eager to please that they practically French kiss the front row." Los Angeles Times critic Reed Johnson on Jason Alexander's performance in "The Producers" (Note to Jason: You haven't been funny since Seinfeld. Get over yourself already.)

"We will have a new generation throughout the world that will know Madonna as an inspiring storyteller." Nicholas Callaway, editor and publisher of Madonna's new children's book (Note from Robyn: Old generations already know her as an inspiring storyteller?)

"'If I die, I will leave Edward everything." Courtney Love, on pining away for Edward Norton (Note to Courtney: Uhhhh, shouldn't that be going to Frances Bean?)

But don't worry about Edward's affections being elsewhere, because Courtney also states: "'He'll never marry her [Salma Hayek] - for one, he can barely understand half of what she's saying."

"'Michael's career is rock bottom and he's hoping Puffy can help him reclaim his crown as the King of Pop." unnamed source, on Jacko and P. Diddy making plans to go into the studio to lay down some tracks later this month (Note to the freak-duo: Yeah, that'll fix everything. Good plan. I guess just insisting everyone call you the King of Pop isn't making it so, now is it?)

You hate Celine because she is better than youI ask you -- did the world really need this? I'm seriously smacking the first person I see buying it upside the head...
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To this day I'm traumatized that when I was 11, my best friend's mom got a huge block of tickets to a show for her birthday -- and my mom wouldn't let me go because she said I was too young to attend a concert, even with parental supervision. To make matters worse, one of the girls in the group caught Roger Taylor's towel. Granted, my crush was on Nick and Simon -- but still!

Who takes it? Who reigns supreme?Ok, here's the unofficial ATPTB "American Idol" poll -- who wins tonight? I'll hide the results once the real winner is announced so it won't spoil anything for the West Coasters. But this is your warning -- if you aren't watching the show live -- read the comments with caution!

Psychotic Psychic episode, take 2Just call me the Miss Cleo of the blogging world... Remember this last week? Well...

Troubled Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland has been released on $10,000 bail after being arrested for drug possession.
The new singer in Guns 'N Roses offshoot band the Project was stopped by police just after midnight on Sunday for a routine traffic stop.

Kill. Your. Television.Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.
Electric word "life", it means forever and that's a mighty long time. But I'm here to tell you, there's something else. The after-world. A world of never ending happiness. You can always see the sun -- day or night.

Stone Temple Pilots singer Scott Weiland has been named as the new vocalist for the band featuring former Guns N' Roses members Slash, Duff McKagan and Matt Sorum.

The rocker has already worked with the Project on upcoming tracks for movies "The Hulk" and "The Italian Job" and now he has beaten out former Skid Row star Sebastian Bach to become the group's permanent frontman.

I guess maybe someone should update their Dead Pool guesses with that lethal combo -- can you imagine Weiland, Slash and Duff on the same tour! And what an accomplishment beating out Sebastian Bach for anything in 2003 must be...
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Next pollOk, Todd insists I take another poll... Ryan Seacrest. Light in the loafers? Closet Cher fan? Knows all lyrics to show tunes?

Conspiracy theorySo Todd and I are both under the impression that no matter what, somehow Kimberley will be safe on AI tonight. Y'know, to have that whole "girl vs. guy" thing goin' on in the final round. Do you think we're right?

I guess we'll find out in just under an hour, regardless! Feel free to rant away here...

(voting disabled)

Left-coasters, you're in for a bumpy ride. Don't click for more!

UPDATE: This is why we haven't been to Vegas I guess. Whoa. Final vote here was 10 yep votes, 5 nope votes.
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Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Baby, won't you do me like you done before

Sensible Erection now has a Robyn paper doll. (Not my namesake.) But just in case you've been dying to dress and undress your very own Robyn all day in the privacy of your own home, now here's your chance.

I, of course, took a few liberties with my rendition to make it my own...
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Vital IdolAmerican Idol thoughts tonight? Comments? General snarking?

C'mon -- it's ok to admit it. We won't tell anyone you're watching the show. And I totally caught that Clay blew the words to his first song before the judges even made mention of it...and I'd never heard the song before...
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I cannot compete with fajitas - they sizzleMitch Hedberg is heading back to Tampa this coming weekend. Unfortunately we feel too po' right now to attend, but I thought I'd give everyone the heads-up. It was one of the funniest shows I've ever seen in my life. While digging around on his official website, I noticed they had finally used one of the photos I'd taken at the last show. (The webmaster at Mitch's site wrote me after finding my blog several months ago, and I sent him all the full-size originals upon request.) Considering a bouncer came over and told me to lose the camera -- I was trying to be sneaky sans-flash -- how cool is that?

Insane in the membraneAm I the only one when viewing the Kodak digital camera "revenge" commercial.....(where a friend shaves off another friend's eyebrow in his sleep and then takes a photo of it and prints several copies only to hang the evidence from the ceiling and have the Kodak paper wonders tucked in every nook, cranny and party tray within eyesight at a large soirée the eyebrowless wonder soon appears at, with sassy-perturbed girlfriend in tow, only to call a "truce" with the camera-master friend he's apparently recently shaved one bald strip down the middle of the guy's head, whew!).....to scream, "JUST SHAVE YOUR FUCKING HEAD DUMBASS!" I mean, c'mon. A missing eyebrow is a little hard to disguise. But anyone walking around with a reverse mohawk only need seek solace with of a pair of Oster clippers for about 15 minutes. Otherwise, you're just beggin' for a discount-season pass on the special bus.
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Friday, May 9, 2003

It's a good time for the great tasteTodd and I just heard Fur Elise at the end of "While You Were Out". So I started singing the McDonald's commercial to the music and it cracked him up -- he'd totally forgotten about it. Wanna take a trip down memory lane with us?

Oh I wish I were already there, instead of here, playing this song.

And I would have a big chocolate shake, a cheeseburger, and also.....whoops.....and also fries.

And I would eat, my fries myself. And not give none, to my dumb brother. Hands off they're mine, all miiiiiine.

My recital is almost done, it wasn't bad. I'm still alive. And I can have my big chocolate shake, my cheeseburger, and also.....fries.

Semi-annoying in "Father of the Bride", but he made the part his own. It worked. And I can't forget Ed Grimley, I must say.

But oh. My. God. When are the big name stars going to quit sucking up to and legitimizing his Jiminy Glick character? Do they fear telling him "no"? The Glick skits were crap on the canceled-for-a-reason Martin Short Show. It's crap on Comedy Central. Oh, so you put on a fat suit. It makes your IQ drop. You make fat jokes. I get it. Har har. Funny. Har har. Does anyone out there actually find the show funny? I mean, seriously...
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And that's the way it was...We need another full moon. Strange news is severely lacking lately!

*Please note: It appears Price did not actually have sex with that stripper, although it's reported two others joined Price overnight in his hotel room. He did spend several hundred dollars while in Destiny's company, however.posted at 01:57 PM | link--it | mail it
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Tuesday, May 6, 2003

And the feeling that I feel for you is more than strong, girl - take it from meOh holy geri-curl, Bat Man -- I'm never getting this song* out of my head now. (*Even though it's not technically a Bee Gees song and I think that's cheating.)

I Just Want to Be Your Everything

For so long
You and me been finding each other for so long
And the feeling that I feel for you is more then strong, girl
Take it from me
If you give a little more then you're asking for
Your love will turn the key

Darling mine
I would wait forever for those lips of wine
Build my world around you, darling
This love will shine girl
Watch it and see
If you give a little more then you're asking for
Your love will turn the key

I, I just want to be your everything
Open up the heaven in your heart and let me be
The things you are to me and not some puppet on a string
Oh, if I stay here without you, darling, I will die
I want you laying in the love I have to bring
I'd do anything to be your everything

Darling for so long
You and me been finding each other for so long
And the feeling that I feel for you is more then strong girl
Take it from me
If you give a little more then you're asking for
Your love will turn the key......

Automatic. Systematic. Hydromatic.Grease 3: It's Geritol Lightning! Coming soon to a theater near you. Sponsored by the fine folks at Propecia. What's great for the returning cast is that they now qualify for a senior citizen discount at the theaters. (Link courtesy of the hubby, who's still being an anti-blogite.)
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No eye contact, do not speak to her for any reason unless spoken to first, address her as ma'am, and keep those fingernails red or clear please, ladies.

"But Beeeeeeeeeen, if Russell's wife got her own private wedding chapel, I have to have one, too. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do..."

I will gladly give up my kingdom for a pair of front row tickets when her star comes crashing down to earth once and for all...
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Saturday, May 3, 2003

Take that, Ebert!

The first review of "The Matrix Reloaded": Jim-Jammity Jesus Krispy Kreme Christ on a twat-rocket, this movie blew me apart and put me back together only after I’d got put back I felt like I had thirteen dicks and they’d all gotten blown by a surfer chick with 26 heads (2 mouths on each cock). I will see it ten times and if I see Star Wars George or that gay Batman director butt-hole any time during the ten screenings here comes Mr. Punch.....This movie is a pillowcase with soda cans inside that beats the living mule-fuck out of you but you’re all like, “Bring it on honky tonk” because the beating feels like summer and Halloween and Cheetos at the same time.....This movie is tits!
[review link (with spoilers) courtesy of Sensible Erection]

Now I'd like to take a moment for us... Only twelve fucking more days left! Aaaaaah!
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Tuesday, April 22, 2003

Hey baby, I'm forever your girlRunning across this a few weeks late obviously, but you knew someone had to do it eventually... The American Idol Drinking Game, dawg.

UPDATE: Who in the hell is the songwriter-judge this week? Her music sucks serious ass.
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Tuesday, shoot me in the head - I'm takin' it backHaven't done a "news not fit to print" wrap-up in awhile...so here goes:

Every other day of the week is fine, yeahThis should almost be like a "don't ask, don't tell" blog entry I think. We watched "Maid in Manhattan" from Netflix tonight. It was so, so very bad. One of those 90 minutes of my life...gone...kinda deals.

So then Todd flipped over to regular TV and we caught the very tail end of Mr. Personality. We didn't even watch but five minutes, and we're both already creeped out. The whole masks and blindfolding thing -- it's just way too strange for me. And another thing... The most overused phrase on reality TV is now "on this journey". Everything is a journey. No it's not. It's a "let's see how long I can milk this thing 'til Playboy comes-a calling" experience. That's it. You want a journey? Book a safari to Africa, darlin'. It's pretty sad when the thing that's the least odd about your show is the fact Monica Lewinsky is the host.
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Watch out boy, she'll chew you up

"The truth is, Marriott offered nothing in the way of intellectual stimulation, or entertainment, except for the occasional laugh at his own expense." The Maneater, University of Missouri student newspaper

Gee, there's a review you didn't see coming. I realize it is Mizzou and all, but just exactly who did they think they were booking? At least OU invited the likes of Jimmy Fallon and Ben Stein. I mean, did they even watch the show? Marriott made a foot-fetish and bondage film actress look classy in comparison. When asked his opinion of the University of Missouri, Marriott replied, "It’s really cool because it is a college campus. There’s dorms. It has a very college campus feel." Wisdom for the ages, man... (Read more at MSNBC.com's "The Scoop".)
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Thursday, April 17, 2003

Can't nobody hold me down - oh no

Hold on to your wallets: The ever-entrepreneurial Sean "P-Diddy" Combs is ready to expand once again. In addition to being firmly planted in the world of Hip-Hop, Puff has also fancied himself a fashion designer, restaurateur and now video game guru. According to the New York Post, P Diddy's planning to create a video game based on - who else - himself that allow players to "create an entertainment conglomerate" by signing musical acts, spending mega bucks on marketing campaigns and acquiring assets. [link]

Parting is such sweet sorrowCan you hear me whoopin' "YES!" from here? Although I think Carmen should have got the boot tonight, I'm not gonna complain. Buh-bye to you and your freaky bad extensions that are fake just like the rest of the package. I'm with Michele -- Skinemax here she comes!
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Tuesday, April 15, 2003

It's now ruined rock 'n' roll to meFor the love of God...can we just move beyond her tits, ass and fake hair color for like five seconds people, and finally admit...she has NO freakin' talent... At all. Please! I'm so sick of watching the judges gloss over her lousy performances in their summaries. Thank God Simon always attempts to at least somewhat put her in her place...
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Inquiring minds wanna knowI just realized we missed the season finale of NBC's "Ed" last Friday. Did anyone else out there catch it? I just want to know if it was another lame "will he choose Carol / will Carol choose him" kinda deal that you have to wait 'til next season for, or if they actually didn't leave you hanging for a change. Any summaries appreciated!

UPDATE: Forgot to mention... What in the hell is with all the season finales in April this year, anyway? First they push back the start of the season to mid-October on most shows. Now they try to wrap them up by mid-April. Do they think we also don't notice that most TV shows are 5-10% shorter with more commercials packed in as well? It wasn't always this way!
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Putting the 'ass' in classyOk, that's it. It's time to give up waiting on Matty to take care of business once and for all. We all need to get together and do the right thing now. Apparently Ben Affleck is so smitten with J-Lo that he's dropped $105,000 on a toilet seat cover for her encrusted with rubies, sapphires, pearls and a diamond. He told a friend, "Jennifer is my princess and she deserves only the best -- even when it comes to toilets." Well guess what, Baldie? Her shit still stinks just like everyone else's. Even more so than most, I would imagine.
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Michael Moore...will raise even more eyebrows with his next project. According to Variety, his next film will depict the relationship between George Bush Sr. and the family of Osama bin Laden...a documentary that will trace why the U.S. has become a target for hatred and terrorism. "It certainly does deal with the Bush and bin Laden ties," Moore said. "It asks a number of questions that I don't have the answers to yet, but which I intend to find out." Moore has already put a year's worth of research into the film...he'll finish it in time for Cannes 2004...released in time for the presidential election that fall. (Read more at MSN Entertainment.)

The EndWhen you're dropping the curtain on a bad last act, what do you play for the finale?

And God looked down over all the earth and He was sick unto His stomach.

"Ok!," he said. "All right! I am fed up. I am disgusted. I have had it.
Enough is enough. Gabriel," He yelled, "blow your damned horn! I am putting an
end to all that crap down there."

"Well, it's about time," said Gabriel, taking his horn out of its case. "Do
you want a nice modern riff or something military, like taps, or maybe one good long,
strong -----."

"I don't care what you blow," said God, "just blow! Make it loud; make it
solid and final and of all eternity -- make it ring from heaven to hell and back; make it
reach into all men's souls and fill them with the realization that this is it. Make it
bang!"

"T.S.Eliot says the world ends with -----."

"I don't give a damn what T.S.Eliot says -- you just blow that horn like I tell
you!" said God.

"All right," said Gabriel, "all right, but you don't have to yell at me.
After all, I'm a musician, not a plumber. I've waited a long time for this gig and I'm not
going to goof it. You just tell me how you're going to end it and I'll come up with
something that cooks." And he fit the mouthpiece into his horn. "You going to
have it rain for forty days and forty nights again?"

"Well," said God, "I haven't really given it much thought."

"Well, if you're thinking of having it rain, you'd better forget it -- they got new
drainage systems down there!"

"Maybe I'll make an earthquake," God said, "That would really -----."

"No good," said Gabriel. "I could give you some great quaky music -- but
lots of those houses are quake proof, and I imagine you want to get them all at the same
time."

"Of course, of course," said God. "I know that. I wasn't seriously thinking
of earthquakes.... A plague is more my style -- maybe a plague that -----."

"They're all vaccinated!"

"Vaccinated? Hmmm... of course... that is a shame, though... In the old days, you
could make a plague that would strike down every male child that -----."

"You could try to blast them," Gabriel said.

"That's right," said God, "a few good thunderbolts would really
-----."

"But their ABM defenses would probably stop them."

God sat back and thought for a while. Gabriel fingered his valves.

"I suppose everything is fireproof," God finally said.

"Everything but the slums," said Gabriel, "and if you burn those out,
they'll only rebuild with modern developments."

God was silent for a long time.

"Listen," He said, smiling weakly, "what the hell. Maybe... maybe we'll
just forget about it for now. Maybe I'll give them a little more time -- after all, they
are my own children, aren't they?"

"Ok by me," said Gabriel. "You want to hear a little somethin' anyway... I
mean, as long as I already got the horn out?"

"All right," God finally said softly, leaning back wearily in His chair and
closing His eyes.

The world's most dangerous bandWhat happened to me? Is it old age? I used to hate Paul Shaffer. Hate him. When Dave would turn sideways at the start of the show, that was my cue to grab a drink. I'm not sure if it's turning 30 or what...but I find him freakin' hysterical now. I miss the hell outta Dave, but that opening singalogue was great tonight!
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I am the greatest of all timeOk, let's do a pool right quick...who will be the first actor/actress/nominee to give a self-important, self-serving political speech this evening?
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Saturday, March 22, 2003

Duct (tape) and coverOk, I've already mocked celebrities once today -- but this is just 'tawded enough to warrant its own entry. Some celebrities apparently will be wearing swatches of duct tape tomorrow evening at the Academy Awards ceremony. According to Yahoo! News, "that bit of anti-fashion is a sly reference to the government's suggestion several weeks ago that citizens buy duct tape to seal their windows from airborne poisons".

Ok, I can understand the dove peace pins. If the celebrity wearing it doesn't grab the mic and turn the awards ceremony into their own 10-minute political platform, fine. Wear the pin. Make your quiet statement. But just what message is the duct tape sending, other than "I'm a moron"? If you spot any celebrity wearing duct tape, snag a pic for me. I'll make them their very own Special Olympics ribbon to wear to next year's Oscar ceremony. At least then they'll be supporting the mentally handicapped on their red carpet duds, instead of becoming one themselves.

Near, far, wherever you are...For immediate press release: I want to publicly announce that for security reasons, I will not be attending the 75th Academy Awards Ceremony tomorrow night at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, California. I will remain at home, quietly watching the event with family.

*This entry has been typed with tongue firmly planted in cheek, because far be it for me to turn down the opportunity to be trendy.posted at 12:39 PM | link--it | mail it
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This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need! My name in print!And I don't need any of this! I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this -- and that's it. And that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one -- I need this! The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this! And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.....
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Thursday, March 13, 2003

And the piano sounds like a carnivalI couldn't even keep reading this...my stomach turned and my rage overtook me. So here's the question. Do you reward someone for their art -- even if that art is "Oscar-worthy" -- when you're all too aware of their past (illegal and immoral) actions? Are they separate entities or intertwined? Or do you a pull a MLB-and-Pete Rose and always dangle, but never quite award, the big prize? Hollywood has a history of forgiving and forgetting, and the timing of this release is very suspicious. But that said, I certainly wouldn't want to be a member of the Academy right now...
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Pop quizSo what's one online product or service that you've purchased in the last six months and just couldn't live without now? Paying for Launchcast Plus is just about the best $3.99/mo I've ever spent...in case I haven't mentioned that lately... I don't think there's a single weekday that goes by when it's not on at least an four to five hours. No commercials, custom playlists, and the ability to pause, skip and permanently ban songs/artists is absolutely genius. If only they offered this for automobiles!
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You're just mad because he has the balls to sample music from the losers that you listen to, and make it into decent head-banging music.So get off of his dick and try to find some talent in yourself. [link]

And your penis is the star!Have you noticed the new Hollywood "must" -- the group sing-a-long? I first caught on to the new trend back when "My Best Friend's Wedding" was released. (You know, the "Say A Little Prayer" scene. I would wager $100 that if I put a table of my friends together in a restaurant, not a single one of them could belt out the chorus to that song -- much less the lyrics. And certainly not the entire table.) Taking it a step further is the group dance number à la peanut butter sandwiches from "She's All That". Now I went to not one, but three, high school proms in my day -- and not a single time did the entire room break out into a choreographed number that would make our state champion drill team turn green with envy. Your mileage may have varied. I've yet to see it (and probably won't unless forced), but "The Guru" combined the spontaneous group singing and dancing in its previews. "The Sweetest Thing" did it, too. And it looks like the hella-lame-in-the-previews "What a Girl Wants" is going to have its own little number as well. Hell, just about anything that could be labeled "date flick" these days has some variation of the above. Which brings me to...

We went to see "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" last night by default. (We just showed up at the theater to see what would be next.) Don't get me wrong. It was "cute". (How could it not be with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson?) It had its moments -- many of which were very funny. It followed the typical "boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy and girl fight, boy realizes he can't live without girl, boy rushes off to right things and win back her heart only to realize she's taken off and he has only moments to find her and live happily ever after" cookie-cutter formula to a tee. The only thing it lacked to make it truly cliché was the group sing-a-long scene. But not to be disappointed, Matt and Kate did a karaoke-style duet (with Marvin Hamlisch on backup) to "You're So Vain".

Again, a song most of us know the main chorus to...but raise your hand if you can sing it top to bottom, left to right. And if you can, well I really can't help you there now can I?

Maybe I'm just hanging out with the wrong crowd. I don't know. But the day my dinner table busts out into a chorus of "When Will I Be Loved" over dinner -- much less hops up from the table to shake their bon-bons in sync all over the restaurant -- is the day I yell "Check please!" and hit Craig's List in search of new pals.
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Thursday, March 6, 2003

Hey alright! If I get by, it’s mine!I couldn't figure out why Claire was suddenly growling and doing that half-bark "urf!" thing, running back and forth between windows...'til it dawned on me... "Been Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction had just come on my station. Silly doggie. Addiction's for kids.

UPDATE: Todd reminded me that this site always sets her off, too. So of course, we went there. We're so evil...
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You got me straight trippin' booI swear to all that's holy...every bad American pop ballad in the last 20 years...the ones you prayed night and day would just go away and get off the airwaves...well you can find them all on tonight's American Idol wildcard show. Well, except for "I Will Always Love You". Oh god. I just invoked it, didn't I?
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Monday, March 3, 2003

Some material may not be suitable for children RobynReason 9,457 why I love my husband: He's watching Black Hawk Down while I'm back in the computer room working on a site design. And Todd knows just when to call me in for the "hottie" scenes (Josh Hartnett, Ewan McGregor, Orlando Bloom, and Jeremy Piven in the same movie...pant...) and when to tell me to avoid the guts and gore. I'm such a lucky girl!
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First of all, I'm happy that my husband is back home with me again. We've been apart less than five times in our almost-seven year marriage (although we spent almost all of our engagement with me working in Philadelphia and Todd in grad school in Oklahoma). And we hadn't been apart a single night since January of 2000. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, but that's certainly not a theory I want to put to the test again any time soon.

And that's where the picture of "something that made me smile" comes in... I found out early last night that "The Daily Show" host and comedian Jon Stewart was going to be doing a one-evening show in downtown Tampa Saturday night, so I snagged last-minute tickets online to surprise Todd. I figured with the month we'd just survived, we could use an evening full of laughter. We've been fans since his days on MTV, and Jon Stewart and I even share the same birthday (November 28th). We had a blast! It was really nice to just hold hands and laugh together again. Now we're about to curl up and watch "Trading Spaces" reruns...

Greed, for lack of a better word, is good?Good for these schoolgirls who wrote actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, asking her to put her money where her big mouth is and donate to their charity drive! Zeta-Jones recently testified before a London court and boasted that $1.5 million [paid for their wedding photo rights] was peanuts to her and hubby Michael Douglas. "It is a lot of money maybe to a lot of people in this room, but it's not that much for us." Douglas, supporting his wife's statement, called the amount a "pittance"...

From UPI: But the Douglases [Michael and Catherine] are people who occasionally do go to work, on movie sets, where they're likely to notice some minimum-wage production assistants bringing them coffee. They presumably have a state-of-the-art entertainment center that does receive CNN. I presume they've occasionally been sent a script that has actual working-class people in it. In other words, they must know, at some level, that "some people in this room" who think $1.6 million is more than a pittance represent approximately 99.9 percent of the people in the world.

To put that $1.6 million in perspective: If you placed that money in the lowliest passbook savings account, the kind the Douglases will never have because it's for people who only have $500 to start with, and you get the lowest interest rate paid anywhere in the world -- currently around 1.8 percent -- you earn $28,800 a year, enough for some families to survive on.

The idea that 1.8 percent of what they call a pittance is a living wage somewhere, and that they don't realize it, is a testament to just how divided by class we've become. (More also found at "The Daily Dish".)

I'm certainly not putting my money on her winning an Oscar now after reading this, and all of the above! Sounds like The Douglases are in very real danger of becoming The Gekkos.
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Thursday, February 27, 2003

The feeling to know you're alive... Further solidifying the fact this has been one of the worst months...ever...it's now being reported that Mr. Rogers has passed away of cancer at the age of 74. This kills me. I adored Mr. Rogers as a child. So much so, that my mom actually limited me to one airing of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood a day when I turned 5, because I planned my whole day around the show and the Neighborhood of Make-Believe. I don't even want to think of our kids growing up without him around. It just doesn't seem fair.

I'll be back when the day is new. And I'll have more ideas for you. And you'll have things you'll want to talk about. I. Will. Too.

Check out the hook while my DJ revolves itOk, brain-dead fun very much needed.....head on over to MTV's website and help pick the "22 Greatest MCs the last 22 years". Vanilla Ice and Hammer are nowhere to be found on the list...what up wit'dat? It's criminal.
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Thursday, February 20, 2003

Popcorn love - just wait! They will see...This is what we do to amuse ourselves when we should be working and just can't concentrate...boy band / bubblegum pop e-mail wars... It's kinda like a staring contest, but with really bad lyrics. Today I emerged victorious:

Her: Boy you know it's true...ooh, ooh, ooh...I love you!Him: Tearin' up my heart....Her: You got the right stuff...baby. You're the reason why I sing this song.Him: You're the one that I want. Oooh oooh oooh.Her: Oh boy I think I love ya -- always thinkin' of ya'. I want ya to know I do it all 4 love.Him: Ooh I think I love you from head to toe.Her: I must confess I still believe -- when I'm not with you I lose my mind. Give me a sign...Him: Heh heh ... I'm out. :)Her: Hey! I didn't even get to New Edition yet! Lah-oooo-ser.Him: You are just too mighty for me. I couldn't think of any more songs. I bow to you. :)Her: I take it. I reign supreme!
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The further on the edge, the hotter the intensityY'know, I've spent a lot of time over the past few years complaining about the downfall of music with the emergence of bubble gum pop and boy bands, second wave. But something dawned on me earlier tonight. It's all been a big trade-off. Because we haven't really heard from Kenny Loggins in years. Now I gotta cut loose...
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Sunday, February 9, 2003

Don't go for second best, babySlant Magazine has counted down the 100 greatest music videos. Some, I can see...but five Madonna videos in the top twenty? C'mon. I'm living in a material world, and I am a material girl -- but even I will admit that's a bit much!
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Band Sausages -- where you take two or more bands and combine their names together to make a whole new band. Example: The Beastie Boyz II Men, The Crystal Methods Of Mayhem, Grateful Dead or Alive. Get it? There's no real hardcore rules. Be creative. Squeeze as many bands as you can in, like this person did the last time I played this game: Shakespear's Sisters of Mercyful Fate's Warning.

Apparently there's also a rumor one of the girls (not the winner) is pregnant with his baby. Anyone seen any more good dish lately?

And in other rumor mill findings...apparently Jen and Ben are going to have to put that wedding off just a little while longer. She wants a traditional Catholic wedding, and oops -- she failed to get the first one annulled. (Marriage number two was a private, civil ceremony.) First husband Ojani Noa is quoted as saying, "She screwed me out of a decent divorce settlement, then fired me as manager of her restaurant for no reason. I owe her nothing." What goes around, comes around... Maybe she should call the Kennedy family for pointers?
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Craven, DickY'know all those funny names in the phone book? Well here they are together on one site. I seriously can't believe there's a Hugh G. Rection somewhere out there. What were his parents thinking?
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We're too busy singin' to put anybody downMy husband thinks I have officially lost it. I'm getting "the look". You see, Michele bought me Sea Monkeys for my birthday. And more babies just hatched. So I bought my new monkeys toys and treats overnight and just told him about it.

This is a request, Mr. Radio ManJust a quick heads-up for those who have tried, or are thinking about trying, to set up their own Launchcast station. They are now offering "Launchcast Plus" for $3.99/mo with no commercial interruptions. You can also create station playlists based on your mood, and access special pay-only stations with Launchcast Plus. I fully believe in paying for, donating to and supporting programs that make your life a bit easier -- and this is definitely one I was quick to sign up for! I have my station going just about every second I'm here in this chair. (If you'd like to listen to my station, you can do so here.)
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Wednesday, January 29, 2003

We can't rewind, we've gone too farFor two people who have always been adamantly against reality shows, we've caught ourselves flipping back and forth between tonight's "American Idol" and "Bachelorette" 90-minute specials. Anyone have a good medication they can recommend?

A crummy commercial?Let the Super Bowl ad watch begin! What are your favorites? Which ones do you want to implode Madison Avenue for?

First one on my list -- the Yahoo! "Rainbow Connection" one. Bad, bad, baaaaaaaad. And I love that song.
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It'll be...just like starting overOne of the new Chili Peppers songs came on the radio tonight when we were driving to Clearwater. Although I would rate it about 3x better than most of the new crap out these days, I'm sorry, but it's a far cry from being the Chili Peppers I came of age with. We started making a mental list of bands that should've hung it up a long, long time ago. Of course The Stones were the first to top that list. But they're from the obvious Geritol era. We quickly moved on to bands we grew up on -- our favorites that shouldn't have been allowed to stay together post-1996 (a year after we'd left college), some even earlier. Here's a few to get the ball rolling:

When aging rock stars go sad... Sometimes unfortunately, an early death is better than the alternative. Who would you add to the list?
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Tuesday, January 21, 2003

For every generationIt's time to vote in the Gap's national casting call. None of the applicants are Will Kemp "loose" quality, IMHO -- but you'll get registered for a $500 gift card by voting, and receive a coupon for 15% off "$50 or more" purchases after your ballot submits. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch Will again...
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Monday, January 20, 2003

Fashion and gossip, oh my!If you missed most of the Golden Globes because of football, like me -- here's a quick recap:

Objects in mirror are larger than they appearYet another case of Hollywood Photoshopping gone horribly awry... This makes me so angry on so many levels. As if we could ever measure up to the likes of Kate Winslet anyway -- but would it be so wrong for the readers of British GQ to be allowed to admire her as-is? It's one thing to touch up forehead shine and misaligned chins. It's quite another to lop 30 lbs. off a woman. And note to whoever edited the photos: If you're going to alter/stretch the main image, make sure you get the one in the mirror behind her as well.

The “Titanic” star is one of the few celebs who has said she’s happy with her extra curves.

“What is sexy?” Winslet says in an interview with current British GQ. “All I know from the men I’ve ever spoken to is that they like girls to have an arse on them, so why is it that women think in order to be adored they have to be thin?”

Winslet herself blasted the magazine for tinkering with her extra pounds. “It’s an outrage,” the star complained to one paper. “The re-touching is excessive. I don’t look like that and I don’t desire to look like that . . . I haven’t suddenly lost thirty pounds.”

But Winslet’s outrage may be a tad disingenuous. According to PeopleNews.com, the star actually approved the slimmed-down pics.

Oh, say can you singI am getting really sick of "artistic interpretations" with the national anthem. I don't care if it's trendy to do so -- just sing the damn song. We don't need choirs stringing it out gospel-style. We don't need you hitting notes high enough to call all area dogs. We don't need five minute a cappella do-wap interludes. Just the "Star Spangled Banner" as it was written (and intended to be sung), please. I swear some of these anthem-performances are getting to be longer than the games they precede.
posted at 04:34 PM | link--it | mail it
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Gee, I really love youWell we decided to screw the critics (no, not literally) and went to see "Just Married" for a date night. Although it wasn't the funniest romantic comedy I've ever seen -- it was cute -- and had several bust outloud laughing moments. Any movie that makes fun of the French gets two snaps in a circle from us. I really wish Brittany Murphy would eat more though. It seems she loses five more lbs. for every new role these days. In the next couple of years all that's gonna be left is a blonde mop and some hip-huggers... I took away the following three things from our evening out, in no particular order:

Some parents just don't seem to get the fact that couples choose the 10:30 p.m. showing for a reason. These couples don't have kids. We don't want kids there. You either get a sitter, or you stay home and wait for the DVD. You do not show up with your infant and/or three year old and expect them to be on their best behavior by the time midnight rolls around. And you don't expect me not to give you the evil eye for putting the kid in that position in the first place. If they tend to throw hissies at home when it's time for bedtime, what makes the parents think in a crowded theater it's going to be any different?

For every new release, be prepared for that group of five or six that roll in about twenty seconds 'til the previews start -- and stop on the main platform of the stadium theater expecting the seas of seats ahead to part just because they finally showed up. Then watch in amusement as they put their hands upon their hips incredulously, realizing their theory is blown and no one's moving just because we've all been graced with their presence at the last-minute.

A really good quote (and yes, it made me sniffly and nostalgic): "You never see the hard times in a photo album. But they're the ones that carry you from one happy snapshot to the next." Expect that to be used in some form on Shutterblog soon.

Have a mah-velous weekend dah-lings! Two glorious days of football ahead...

UPDATE 2: I was looking over the IMDB cast list for the movie because the blonde younger brother, who turned out to be Thad Luckinbill, looked familiar. I glanced down the page and saw "Young and the Restless". Oh yeah...he was J.T. But then I looked at the top of the page and saw birthdate (April 24, 1975) -- and then Enid, Oklahoma (where I lived from the 3rd thru 9th grade). And then I saw the name...Thad Luckinbill. It finally hit me. I went to church with him at Emmanual Baptist Church. I was friends with his older sister Susan. His other older sister Deanna was Miss Oklahoma. His parents lived literally 3 doors down from my grandparents -- I went to their house several times. And he graduated from the University of Oklahoma. <cue Twilight Zone music here>
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Friday, January 10, 2003

Rorschach, bay-beeeee!Because I'm bored and avoiding responsibility for a few more minutes...let's all go take the "ink blot test", why don't we?
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All grown up and savin' ChinaPoor Todd...one of his crushes, little Clarissa/Sabrina, is going off the market. Melissa Joan Hart got engaged to her 'rocker boyfriend' this Christmas.

And speaking of weddings, I was really looking forward to this movie. But after that review...youch! Oh well, at least American Pie is coming out with an "American Wedding" sequel soon . Can you imagine the on-screen bachelor party planned by Stifler? Stifler's palace of love...STRAIGHT love.
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Forever and ever amen“Marriage shouldn’t be taken lightly. I don’t want to be married for six months and then say, ‘Oh well, never mind. Let’s go on to number two’.” -Gwyneth Paltrow, B Magazine

Go Gwynnie! Man, I love the not-so-subtle digs she takes in the press from time to time at Baldie and Jenny from the Block's expense. A bitch of my own heart.
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Monday, January 6, 2003

Just your average Joe As a rule, we avoid "reality TV" like the plague around here. After Survivor I, it was pretty much all downhill. But we found ourselves both strangely curious about the new FOX show "Joe Millionaire". It just had that bad accident quality you couldn't quite look away from no matter how hard you tried. Rubbernecking at primetime's not-so-finest, if you will.

I don't even know what to say about tonight's episode. Or what was more pathetic. All of the stacked bimbos cooing about their "fairy tale" and Prince Charming dreams -- or the fact the bachelor kept trying to figure out which one of the women would actually like him for him. Let's see. You make $19K a year Joe. You don't have a college degree. These women think you're worth $50 mil. They got a free trip to France, and room and board in a nice chateau. I'm sure if this had been titled "Who wants to marry a poverty-level construction worker from Dana Point, CA" the very same doctors and bankers would have been lined up around the block to fight for your wallet hand in marriage.

I was brought up to be one of those women. All my life my mother wanted me to believe in fairy tales, and to hunt for my Prince above all else -- just like she always did. In my family your life is not complete without a band of gold on your third left-hand finger. Thankfully you don't always become what you're raised to be. Because I'd rather be single for the rest of my days than to coo over men riding up on horses and making the Filene's Basement Sale look like a cakewalk so I could attend the ball in style.

Of course, that said -- yep, we'll be tuning in again next week. Todd claims it's to marvel at the beautiful chateau and French countryside. I just want to see if any of my distant cousins are among the contestants. Yeah, that's it...

P.S. Did any of you ladies out there find him even remotely attractive? I sure didn't.
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Ticket stubs are everywhere, one of the many receipts in our daily lives - but we all save some from time to time. The Ticketstub project is a place where you can upload scanned images of your saved stubs, and tell a story about that night, that concert, that movie, what happened on that date; basically, ask youself why you saved the stub as a reminder.

I really need to submit a story for these (photos here) and these. Todd wrote up an excellent =w=eezer recap, but it's passworded now.
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