“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” --Maya Angelou

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Becoming Impossible To Function In This Location

I dont know if I can last here. The woman whos taking over is shady. Ive been being hit real hard over past week or so and this room sucks now anyway. I cant get any peace in here during the day. I no longer really want to go outside becuz the vehicle harassment is so bad and this city is so managed by tech.

This woman just got a new phone and now a laptop. I just walked into kitchen unexepectedly to see laptop and she immediately got up and walked away then it wasnt there as she conversed with another woman at table. Its like she wqs trying to hide it from me. And shes been looking guilty as hell lately.I dont truat all this. The owner of this place is making a big mistake putting her in charge. yeah she'll do more than the woman does now who's supervisor but the woman taking over is dishonest. Theres something going on and its probably the typical scenerio.

Supposesdly hes been trying to go non profit for a long time but he couldnt and the supervisor now told me she thought he had given up.Now suddenly hes gone non profit? He may not be up to something but I know this other tenant taking over IS. Shes managing this entire situation and i suspect it could be for you know who. The place is moldy anyway and theres too much Christianity and not enough grit. Im not really happy here as much as afraid for my health to go back on the road. But its moldy here anyway and thats been effecting my memory. The vehicle harassment and men in vehicles harassing women all the time for prostitution has made me not want to leave the house anymore and its depressing to think that I can't walk outside in an entire city after dark. Nobody walks here its totally unhealthy. I really just wanna leave the country but I need a job to get money up to do that and with conditions the way they are I dont think I can function here either in a job or in this house.

Its depressing to realize no matter where you go you'll be held back via gang stalking but I can think of way more interesting places to be kept down. I am losing motivation here due to being targeted especially now this room seems hit so hard. It wasnt like this when I switched rooms. I havent been able to focus on anything I want to get done and I am hit hard daily to leave with lots of ideations to go back to Boston...and of course attend UMass. Lately its been an unbearable amount of focus on sex and of course then you eat instead.

Other places might be more aggressive in their gang stalking and tech but its better than being turned into the typical fat older woman.

I was going to start calling lawyers and the perps know that probably. I feel totally kept down here now mostly becuz the tech in here is absolutely unbearable and unbeatable. It was manageable before these changes in the house but now with someone so sketchy taking over I dont feel strong enough here to fight the rest of it.

That woman who was the Supervisor here til next month, she shares alot of the same political views and her presence provides a solid feel to the house. This tenant taking over simply makes me nervous and feel unstable.

I see now that I was basically conned into being a part of making these changes occur. Everytime I talked about meetings another tenant would mention that this Suoervisor was supposed to take us and I would agree but then Id realize it was near her door and she heard.

Its true that people like this do indeed survive by deception. They may be nicer here but they are still shelter types. They arent productive many of them so they act out in f*cked up ways. Their viscousness is veiled thats all. I thought I could use that to my advantage but I got fooled into being a part of screwing up my own peaceful environment.And my actions were induced by tech and manipulation. Very clever down here they are, and deceptive.

The only other option is to get out of being a part of these house changes altogether and forge ahead into my business outside of here. I don't quite know how to fight all the constant gang stalking in the city and the consistent tech but something says I should at least take this opportunty to get something substantial done. With how poor I am and I dont have anyone solid to travel with trying to accomplish this traveling was impossible especially with just a phone and not a laptop anymore.

Hopefully this nonsense here will go its course and I dont want to be involved when it does.