"Any feminist out there that disagrees with me, I am sorry, but it's gone ridiculous now." So said Kelly Ripa this morning as she and Regis discussed dining etiquette.

The core of Kelly's argument — that a man should always pay for dinner — went thusly:

"We give birth. You pick up the check."

What? Pushing an infant out of your vaginal canal is equivalent to a plate of penne? Seriously?

Where to begin? It's surreal that I even have to type these words, but here goes: A woman can buy a man a meal anytime she damn well pleases. A man can offer to pick up the check, and a lady may think he is a gentleman for doing so, but it is absurd to find it "disgusting" if he does not. We're not living in a society where a lady is the "weaker sex" who faints at obscene language and has to be "taken care of" by a man. In the United States of America it is completely fair — and, some would say, sexy — for a woman to say, "I've got it," and pay for dinner. What's more, uncoupling finance from romance can work to a woman's advantage: Some men who pay for dinner expect a sexual "thank you" in return.

The worst part is when Regis tried read an explanation, saying, "If she wants to pick it up, fine," and Kelly said, "I'm sure she doesn't want to pick it up." Nope! Wrong. Ladies do want to pay. Yours truly wants to pay, likes to pay, plans on paying, has paid in the past and will pay in the future. What I will not do is take any advice from someone who, when told "men and women should be treated as equals," asks, "what does that mean?"