Chris Brown Accused of Assaulting Frank Ocean Over a Parking Space. That Sounds About Right.

Chris Brown's quest to convince us he's the music world's biggest jerk continues, this time by being investigated for assault against singer Frank Ocean. Over a parking space.

Come now, children. If you're going to play together, you'll have to learn how to share.

According to TMZ's side of the story, Brown and Ocean were involved in an “all-out brawl” on Jan. 27, with sources connected to Chris saying Frank started everything. But since these are people who probably just don't want to see their supply of free weed and Rolexes disappear, their honesty is rather questionable.

The story goes that Brown was at the Westlake recording studio in LA listening to one of the artists he represents when Ocean and his entourage blocked his car from leaving.

Then, being the gentleman we know him to be, Chris went to shake Frank's hand and was summarily attacked by a member of Ocean's crew. In response, someone from Brown's side attacked back, Frank came at Chris, Chris pushed him and demanded all his lunch money and then a fight broke out.

Police cleared the scene which Brown fled (because that doesn't look suspicious), while Ocean, whom they are calling “the victim,” stayed behind. No one is currently pressing charges but the cops would like to talk to Brown. As usual.

Meanwhile, Ocean's version, which appeared on Twitter, details the incident the same way police see it, which is that Brown attacked him. (Everest is Frank's dog, by the way.)

Witnesses who were on the scene side with Ocean, saying, "Brown threw the first punch." Which, given Breezy's history, makes a lot more sense.

The children's version of this is Goofus beats up his girlfriend and attacks others over parking spaces, while Gallant smokes pot and loses his driver's license -- but would never hit a girl.