Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Happy sack and man tubes - part deux

Yesterday was a big day in our house. It was the official event marking the end of ever having another child (well, I guess it is official when Ken is confirmed to be shooting blanks).

I wrote about his consultation for the snip way back in October of 2005. Yes, it was almost TWO years ago that he went in, talked to the doc, and picked up the infamous bag of recovery goodies that would help him through this very trying and traumatic event. Note the sarcasm from a woman who has given birth three times with no drugs, and nothing more than a couple of expired extra strength tylenols to take home after delivery. I am thankful though that Ken got a case of cold feet at that time and didn't book his actual snip, because if he did, Renee wouldn't be here now.

After Renee was born, I was 100% positive that I don't want more kids. So Ken had to go for consultation #2, I told him that if he left the doc's office without an appointment WRITTEN IN PEN in his calender it would be grounds for divorce.

All last week I think he was sweating bullets. He had a countdown every morning that went something like this:

"Anna, in only X more days, I will make the ultimate sacrifice for this family - and I will need at least a week to recover, as I have been told it will feel like I have been kicked HARD in the nuts"

As you probably can imagine, response each morning varied and after I had heard numerous times about how much prep work was required (shaving, washing, etc) I offered to give him a good swift kick myself and we could just get it over with. I think Ken seriously considered it.

Yesterday morning he went into the office, and got to chatting with a gentleman in the waiting room who had just had the procedure. Ken said he didn't look too good, and the only advice he gave Ken was to "take the lollypop when they offer it to you". Huh? You get a lollypop?

He later found out that the lollypop is designed to get your mind off the "business at hand" so to speak. Before the snip itself, Ken found himself sucking away at his lime lollypop while a kind nurse candidly pointed out that his shaving skills left much to be desired so she would need to "clean things up down there". I don't think Ken will ever look at a lime lollypop the same way again.

The procedure itself took seven minutes. We are told recovery time will take about seven days. Ken did well, and he is recovering nicely. Considering it is only the day after I am pretty impressed. The only hiccup so far is that Renee managed to give him a baby kick to his newly neutered parts, just to remind him that us women stick together, and she didn't want him to get off too easy. That's my girl!