Brandish says don’t: Topman leopard print jeans

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As the fires of the indie-nu rave scene are fanned even further into a glow-stick and white gloves inferno of epic proportions, so does the fashion that helps fuel the flames get more ridicoulous. I can forgive certain minor indiscretions, such as the aformentioned white gloves. I can even live with some of the clothes that look like they were made from offcuts of the fabric of space and time circa 1988. Afterall, they’re just kids (mainly).

But I can’t abide these jeans (£35). Created by firing Johnny Borrell and Mel B toward each other at near light speeds – I’d sell half my grandmother to see that – these are just a step too far in the big fancy dress party that is youth fashion at the moment. They’re just tacky and could seriously end up making you look like some sort of young Peter Stringfellow wannabe. Brandish says don’t.