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Martha Stewarts 41-year old daughter Alexis, just came out with a new book called “In Whateverland:Learning to Live Here” in which she pretty much describes mommy dearest as a heartless wench who steals the souls of small children and uses them to make delicious strudels. Martha Stewart just made an applie pie with the blood of one of her assistants in place of butter and sent it to her daughter with the following message: “Bitch, you just lost yourself $500million! Who’s the foul now?”

Via DailyMail:

‘If I didn’t do something perfectly, I had to do it again… I grew up with a glue gun pointed at my head.’

She admits Martha was not a maternal figure, and had an unromantic approach to holidays like Halloween and Christmas.

‘Martha was not interested in being kid friendly,’ Alexis continues.

‘She used to make me wrap my own presents. She would hand me things right before Christmas and say, “Now wrap these but don’t look inside.”‘

Halloween was also a grim affair: ‘There were no costumes. There was no anything. We turned off all the lights and pretended we weren’t home,’ she recalls.

Also at odds with Martha’s image as the ultimate hostess, was a bizarre habit of using the bathroom with the door wide open.

And for a woman who made her name with a recipe book, the refrigerator was always curiously empty: ‘There was never anything to eat at my house. Other people had food. I had no food … There were ingredients but no prepared food of any kind.’

Even today, Martha’s habits rile her daughter.

‘My mother has a sign on all of her doors to take your shoes off,’ Alexis reveals in the book. ‘For god’s sake! My mother’s dogs p*** and s*** on her rugs and she’s telling people to take their shoes off?’

She is worse still as a guest: ‘My mother will occasionally complain that I don’t invite her over for dinner,’ Alexis says. ‘But can you blame me? Because, sometimes this is what will happen: whatever I serve, she’ll sip it, taste it, make a face, and push it away.’

Martha also had some unusual dating advice for her only daughter.

Alexis, who is divorced, writes: ‘A woman lived near us when I was little had married someone very wealthy and very unattractive, and my mother actually told me when I was a small child, “Now Alexis, if this ever happens, you make sure you have sex with somebody else to have their baby. Don’t have his baby.”

‘She was very practical about it. It was a survival skill – you have someone rich and ugly who takes care of you, and you have someone who’s hot and makes attractive babies.’

Martha Stewart had to go to the emergency room yesterday morning after her bitch split her upper lip when Martha interrupted her beauty sleep. She explained in a post on her blog today about how she caught a sleeping Francesca (her dog) by surprise when she leaned down to whisper a sweet goodbye into her dog’s ear:

As I leaned down to whisper goodbye to a dozing Francesca, I must have startled her, because she bolted upright with such force that she hit me in the face like a boxing glove hitting an opponent’s face. I was entirely startled and my neck snapped back. I felt a bit of whiplash as blood gushed forth from my split lip. Frannie was as upset as I was and cowered in her bed.

Humm, “Cowering” you say? Or secretly plotting the next attack?

How can we be sure that Martha isn’t operating an illegal dog fighting operation out of her home in Bedford Hills to make extra cash? This dog may be trained to be aggressive. Lord knows what nasty habits she picked up in the big house. She’s probably running an illegal immigrant operation…enticing working class girls from East Asia into the United States to force them into prostitution….pushing hard drugs on school kids….the dog fighting ring is probably just the tip of the iceberg of her illicit activities.

While Martha laid there in the hospital getting her upper lip stitched she found the time to snap this picture of the Hospital’s wallpaper so she could later blog about how it wasn’t aesthetically pleasing enough for her. No, we aren’t making this shit up…

Celebrity Chef, Gale Gand, was the host of the long running Food Network's "Sweet Dreams," judge on "Top Chef", and has appeared on Martha Stewart, Oprah, Iron Chef America and Baking with Julia. When she's not baking, Gale is running her own root beer company, Gale’s Root Beer producing a cinnamon-ginger-vanilla flavored root beer. And, this Fall, her new show, "The Heirloom Recipe Project", will air on PBS. She recently sat down with Celebrity Baby Scoop to discuss how to build a healthy relationship between kids and food, her partnership with Breyer's ice cream to find the most creative American Sundae, and why we shouldn't skip dessert. All while preparing one of her Spaghetti with Meatballs Sundae creations.

With my daughter beginning her transition to "the sippy cup" I was excited for her to try out BornFree™'s Trainer Cups. Matthew McConaughey's son Levi, Harlow Madden and Gwen Stefani's son Zuma were all spotted recently using BornFree™'s line of BPA free products. Even Martha Stewart listed Born Free as one of their "Baby Must Haves"!

BornFree™ is trusted by celebrity parents everywhere due to their safe and smart line of bottles, sippy cups and pacifiers that are completely free of harmful Bisphenol-A (BPA), Phthalates and PC. In case you aren't aware, BPA is a known estrogen mimicker that is used in the production of polycarbonate plastic. It is a very harmful substance that researchers say could cause developmental and neurological problems if leached from plastic. Thanks to BornFree™'s products, this is something you don't have to worry about.

Another great feature from this company is their unique venting system which is designed to reduce colic and ear infections. The training cup in particular has a low vacuum valve which is designed to create a free flow of liquid, perfect for children getting used to cups.

BornFree™ is a brand trusted and respected by many and I think their sets are an especially neat gift idea for expectant moms or babies!

Being the modest guy that he is, P Diddy threw himself a small, unassuming party at the Plaza in NYC over the weekend that cost him $3million.

The money went toward creating a Garden of Eden theme in a suite at the Plaza with a $30,000 orchid display, a specially installed black dance floor and black chandelier, a silver confetti drop and a performance by Al Green.

The all-star guest list included Bono, Jay-Z, Lil Kim, Kim Kardashian and Martha Stewart, and security was so tight that Twilight star Kellan Lutz had to sweet-talk his way into the VIP area.

To top it all, P Diddy promised his friends they’d witness a very special guest performing at his bash. That person ended up being him.

Diddy also treated guests to a silver confetti drop, loads of champers and plenty of his very own brand of vodka, Ciroc.

Last week Martha Stewart just happened to mention she didn't think Rachael Ray should call herself a 'cook'. And last night she gives us this zinger about that annoyance, Sarah Palin. Oh Martha, you are winning me over more and more.

Diddy had a huge birthday celebration last night at the The Grand Ballroom at The Plaza Hotel in NYC. A lot of people came out to show love and help Diddy bring in the big 4-0 including Martha Stewart, Kim Kardashian, Tyrese and more. Pop the top for the flicks.

Bossip spies were in the building and say that the party was amaaaaaazing and jam packed with celebrities. Everyone was there, Bono, Ed Burns and Christie Turlington, Richie-Rich, Spike Lee and his gorgeous wife. Kim Kardashian and Cassie were in attendance too, and everyone looked fantastic. Our spies say Diddy appeared to be really sweet, although, he was being pulled in all different directions.

They couldn’t say the same for Jigga, who acted like a COCKY ______. Our spies say, after seeing his attitude, they can understand why B isn’t ready to have kids with him… Interesting.

Paris Hilton is the new Martha Stewart…that is if Martha Stewart was open to producing instructional videos on how to give a BJ and her idea of an advertising campaign would be to flash her smiling crotch at the paparazzi. By now we’re pretty sure douche boytoy Doug has learnt his lesson on how to get Paris wet: “I see you in Target…and on aisle six in KMart…and you’re all over JCPenny’s…ok honey, can i get my little Dougie in your superstore now?”

Here she is in Vegas at the Hard Rock Hotel over the weekend promoting her new sunglasses line…along with her hair extensions, clothing line, shoes, bags, jewellery and lingerie lines…not sure if she promoted her bed sheet line in her hotel room later on…

This is what she had to say when she was interviewed at the event:

“I have 16 different brands,” she said. “I do it everything, I do sunglasses, clothes, lingerie, purses, shoes, hair extensions, hair products, … I do bed sheets, I do scrap-booking, I do everything.”

“Right now I’m just finishing my new album and starting to produce some TV shows and starting the new show, and (I’m about to) start another movie,” she said. “I’m very busy,”.

When asked who she gets her inspiration from, in classic self-absorbed style, she replied:Myself!

Awesome…does that mean she’ll soon be promoting her dildo line on HSN?