In Defense of Having Sex on the First Date

According to new research, having sex on the first date can screw up a relationship. Confession time: I did it…and I ended up marrying the guy.

Granted, I see where this could be an issue. But when a cute, sweet guy just cooked you a three-course meal at his place, and you've split a bottle of wine, well, sometimes you just go with it.

Naturally, it all went down hours after a friend warned me that I should never, ever sleep with a guy before we've been dating for two weeks (I have no idea where she got that number, but oops). But it never even occurred to me to regret it. And we've been together ever sense.

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Okay, back to the research...Scientists at Brigham Young University (which, it's worth pointing out, is a notoriously conservative school) followed 11,000 unmarried people in serious relationships and asked them to rate their level of satisfaction with their relationship. They specifically asked about their ability to communicate with their partner and how stable they felt their relationship was.

Scientists found that couples who had been together for at least a year and had sex on the first date or within the first two weeks of dating (did they talk to my friend or what?) were less satisfied with their relationships, and had less communication and stability in them than people who waited longer to get freaky—or didn't have sex with them at all.

Researchers guessed that this was the outcome because people who had sex early on in a relationship would continue to expect to have it often with their partner. Um…that's a problem because…?

I also want to point out that the differences in satisfaction between the people who had sex earlier and those who waited was a measly 1/10th of a point on a five-point scale. So basically, nothing.

Sure, there can be some perks to waiting to have sex with a guy (you get to know him better first and might feel more comfortable with him when you do finally get busy, you can suss out if he's worth it, etc.). But there are also plenty of perks to doing it early (you find out if you're sexually compatible, whether he has weird sex issues, etc.). Plus, new research found that having casual sex is just as good for you mentally as having sex in a relationship. So if things don't work out with the guy, no harm, no foul, provided you're aware of that going into it.

If you're into a guy and you feel like going for it—and you're safe about it—I say just do it already.