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Gay War Hero's Speech Interrupted by GOP Debate

Millions tuned in last night to watch a flamboyantly decorated war hero thrice wounded by your catty remarks give an impassioned speech about the trials and tribulations of being a closeted homosexual serving under Bush's barbaric "Don't-Ask-Don-t Tell policy". He was just about to launch into a long, lingering lament on how impossible it is to find a decent nail salon these days when he was rudely interrupted by what appeared to be a GOP presidential debate.

"Why do you think that American men and women in uniform are not professional enough to cater to my needs,” retired Brigadier General Keith H. Kerr pondered rhetorically, when Anderson Cooper and eight Republican stooges burst into the studio and attempted to drown him out by debating each other on a variety of issues that had nothing to do with the Colonel at all.

The Homophobe Party has always been known for its hatred of the GLBTH Community, but I've never before seen them flaunt their bigotry in front of millions of witnesses. And hogging the Admiral's airtime that way just to make some sort of selfish political statement!

Scientists have found a new threat to the planet: Canadian beer drinkers.

The government-commissioned study says the old, inefficient "beer fridges" that one in three Canadian households use to store their Molson and Labatt's contribute significantly to global warming by guzzling gas- and coal-fired electricity.

"People need to understand the impact of their lifestyles," British environmental consultant Joanna Yarrow tells New Scientist magazine. "Clearly the environmental implications of having a frivolous luxury like a beer fridge are not hitting home. This research helps inform people — let's hope it has an effect."

The problem is that the beer fridges are mostly decades-old machines that began their second careers as beverage dispensers when Canadians upgraded to more energy-efficient models to store whatever Canadians eat besides doughnuts and poutine.

University of Alberta researcher Denise Young, who led the study, suggests that provincial authorities hold beer-fridge buy-backs or round-ups to eliminate the threat — methods that Americans use to get guns off the streets.

Those warmongering, Bible Thumping, Koran Kicking, Knuckle Dragging, Bush barbarians will stop at nothing to smear a queer. Rovian mind rays have proven to roast some of biggest set of tesiticals into small raisins.

I couldn't help but notice that this particular dissenter wasn't tazed during his moment in the spotlight?

The implications are so painfully obvious that the lack of outcry here has caused me to suspect that we may have some closet-conservatives in our midst.

Clearly, Field Marshal Kerr was a Bush plant, placed at this meeting to make the current crop of GOP candidates look bad--if he can plant illegal fund-raising money on progressyve candidates, and then discredit the conservative candidates, there won't be anyone for whom the American proletariat will vote...paving the way for a third term under Bush's regime. His first step, naturally, on the path to Dictator for Life.

Next, he'll have himself cryogenically frozen, to be thawed only for State of the Union addresses or, on special occasions, to defecate on the U.S. constitution. Of course, his Illuminati caretakers will communicate with him telepathically while he's frozen to keep him updated on important subjects such as how many children his legislation has starved while reading Bibles in public schools and how many oil-rich countries have been conquered in his name.

There's a whole bunch of other stuff, I don't remember it all because I was stoned out of my gourd while she was explaining it, but Shannon Kringen laid it all out last week on Goddess Kring. Seattle public access really speaks truth to power.

As I remember it, Clinton was the one who signed the whole "don't ask, don't tell" rule after campaigning on a platform to allow gays and full scale performances of "South Pacific" in the military. So, obviously, "don't ask, don't tell" is all Bu$Hitler's fault.

In light of this, we should surrender to our moose-limb overlords in Iraq. THEY know how to treat gays in the military.

"I admire the fact that the general never left his buddy's behind.."--Arbs

He could be counted on by his brothers-in-arms, from fist to elbow. No vicious enemy attack could penetrate the foxhole he and his buddies were planted in. And no matter how big the arsenal or assanal was, General Keith Homo Kerr would stare it straight into the eye, without batting a false eyelash. He could chew up and spit out whatever arsenal came his way and still beg for more.

I served under General Kieth in the 69th Cannon Cockers Support Regiment. As rear echelon support for the boys in the shit, we'd go out of our way to ensure that their equipment was well polished and ready to fire their loads on a moment's notice.

General Kiethypoo was a real stickler for discipline, too. One time, a PFC in out platoon failed a mobilization inspection, and he made us take all our privates out in front of the barracks and pack our shit over and over again - while he flogged us with his riding crop - until he was satisfied we'd done it right.

How to satirize a life style when the life style is a satire to begin with?

No, satire has to be funny somewhere and I don't see perversion as funny. Even though a lot of people quickly mimic a satirical attitude when portraying a gay.

What chaps my ass is that he was given the microphone to rebut and none of the other You Tubers were not. That was a Bush idea planted in the head of the director at Clinton News Network if there ever was one.

And of all the things that this country and the next president has got to worry about. I would not put the ability of some gay soldier to flaunt his life style any where near the top of priorities, concerning the majority of the citizens of this country.

Losing the gay vote will not effect the outcome of the election it may actually win it.

Kernal Kerr was a fabulous commander. According to Major Woody, he was well known in his day to jump on grenades at parties when his privates were intoxicated. One of his troops, Private Parts, said he was saved on one eventful night when Kernal Kerr went and distracted an un attractive party goer that had been hitting on Private Parts while Private Part's judgement was impaired from too many White Zinfindels. The next day, Kernal Kerr told him that, in addition to wearing white after labor day, the man's scarf didn't match his shirt. That's dedication, my friends. I'd by Kaptain Kerr's wingman AN -Y- TIME!