This issue we say farewell to our Tournament Editor Night Strike, he has done a great job in keeping the Tournament section running smoothly during his tenure, but he has decided to shift his focus completely back onto his role as head tournament director. Taking up the Tournament Editor position is Sir. Ricco, who coincidentally was a main contributor in the original Tournament Newsletter. I'm sure he will be a great addition .

Just a short edition of the Mess Hall this fortnight in an exciting couple of weeks for Conquer Club that has brought among other things a rapid expansion of Team CC with too many new members to list joining the fold, including a brand new Tech team. Also, this fortnight, the first of quarterly volunteer days was hosted where the administrative team hosted battle royales for the volunteers to partake in as a thank you for their regular hard work in keeping the website running and we also saw the off-topics forum change it's name to bumpage, which has proved quite controversial so far, spawning a backlash from many of the off-topic voters! This fortnight, I thought I would get off my proverbial butt and actually provide an article for the dispatch - on the Society of the Cooks! If you are new to the website, perhaps reading the newsletter for the first time I would highly recommend you check this out. Also, Minister Masket has written about one of the stranger plugins and addons CC offers, the floating game chat, we have an interrogation of long-standing member and moderator clapper011 and our elf has written about reaching the impressive rank of colonel and the pressures felt from holding such a rank. Natty_dread has provided another cartoon of the Cook on CC and stahrgazer has also provided a cartoon in honour of the clapper interview. Enjoy!

One area of the website that hasn’t been covered by the newsletter until now but is in fact an integral part of the site is The Society of Cooks. ‘Train a Cook today, lose to a Sergeant tomorrow!’ is their motto and many new players have benefitted greatly from the teachings by the various teachers including society moderators, wacicha, mpjh and dhallmeyer. The society has had many success stories including Denise who joined the society as just a cadet and now is a teacher at major rank. The society, founded by wacicha focuses mostly on 6 player terminator and standard games on the classic map as well as some other variations.

When asked about his motivations for forming the Society of Cooks, Wacicha answered: “It seemed a lot of the players decided to beat up on the new joiners, for example 3 player games when you lost you did not know if it was your lousy playing or because they ganged up on you and split the points. I decided something had to be done, so long before the cook school started I wrote an article for new players to give them strategy and different tips to make their game time more enjoyable.” If you are new to the website or are old and still trying to struggle to come to grips with the game, check out the Society of Cooks forum and read the introductory stickies for how to sign up. There you will find many friendly faces who will be willing to help you out and next thing you know you will be beating them down!

The Floating Game Chat. Really? Who thought this would be a necessary contribution to the CC experience? I mean look at the others: The Dice Analyzer - comforting. In-game Analysis - informative. Floating Game Chat - floaty! Oh dear...

So one of our tech monkeys had hit his head enough times with a wrench to create this add-on. As a result, now you can fufill the impossible dream of detaching the comments box from underneath the map and moving it wherever you want around the screen! What fun! You can even place the box directly over the map itself, so you can hide the shame of having only 2 territories to your opponent's 48 from anyone who might be watching over your shoulder. Still not convinced? The link there at the bottom states that the download also makes the chat "warm and fuzzy", although one has to suspect if this is a thinly-veiled marketing ploy to lure the weak minded. Also, the creator appears to have a horse's head for an avatar. You can draw your own conclusions from that.

Oh, and you get some new options in the game menu to tweak the settings. Happy now? There, I've covered all the "main" plug-ins and add-ons for you. Who knows what I'll be writing about next issue? Maybe I won't be at all. Either way, I'm not getting paid. Where's my agent....

I’ve always had respect for CC conquerors. No matter game-type, style, etc. Instinctively anyone should know how tough it is to reach the top of any leader board and stay there. While languishing as a Lieutenant I figured I would see how high I could go following some of the past conquerors advice (hats off to KH and demon in particular for tossing some of their thoughts randomly around) on how to gain and hold rank.

I picked my game type and stuck with it. 1v1 speed no spoils sequential fog. I would play nothing else.

I picked my “go to” map and my back up and I pledged to work them.

I began to figure out what time of day was best to play, both for my attention and type of player who would join my games.I chose to play mid to high ranked players only. Before listing my games I would foe any low rank I saw who was waiting for a game. The risk/reward ratio was too high. I ended up with over 250 low ranks on my list. Most of whom I never even played.I learned to “feel” a streak. If I lost a couple of games in a row due to dice or drop I would stop for a couple of hours. Even if I really wanted to play. Conversely, if I hit a streak I would play as many games as possible until I lost one. My highest streak was 14 victories in a row.

I didn’t play many clan games. I didn’t join any new tournaments. I rejected many offers to join games with players I knew. I just focused on the task at hand, day after day, hour after hour. Hell. At one point I was on such a streak I stayed up all night. When I went to work in the morning everyone thought I had the flu I looked so bad.

Within three weeks I hit the fancy hat. Game 3000 of mostly 1v1 sequential speeders and weeks and weeks of my life I made it to page one of the leader board!!!!

Click image to enlarge.

I thought Brigadier here I come! But then it hit me... I was dreading logging on. I wasn’t having fun anymore. It was work. So, the other day, I said “the hell with it” and booted up a ton of casual games on maps I had no clue how to play. And got my ass kicked in many of them. But I had a blast.

Now CC is fun again. Sweet.

Hats off to any all champs and former champs. It takes a lot of work. That, and the fact, you’re just that good.

This issue sees the addition of a new Tournament Writer in iamkoolerthanu, who quickly debuted his first article. This issue will also be my last as the Tournament Editor. I originally took the position on a planned temporary basis to make sure it got off on the right foot after being incorporated into the full CC Newsletter, so it's time to pass it off to someone who will have more time to run it. That person will be Sir. Ricco, who made contributions to the original Tournament Newsletter.

Lately new and cool things keep happening in the tournament forums. It's not enough that lackattack and the Tournament Directors lead by Night Strike have recently come up with amazing new changes, at the same time another project was brewing in the depth of (not so) secret forums.

After DJ Teflon [DJ] suggested a Semi-Official Grand Slam Tournament series in Tournament Organizers usergroup [TO], Barterer2002 [Bart] decided to expand the idea and make it real. Just 2 days after Bart had read DJ's idea, on April 13th, he posted first thoughts and draft to his clan forums to get feedback from fellow clanmates who are either in the organizing business or regular tournament players (yes, I'm talking about my favourite clan - Generation One). A few pages of discussion and the idea was ready to be thrown to wider audience of organizers. 36 hours later, the first draft was posted to the TO usergroup where comments like "this is a great idea", "yep, nice idea!", "this is awesome!", "Man, I love this idea.", "Good initiative and amazing idea" (by keiths31, Lindax, jrh_cardinal, safariguy5 and MarVal) where posted. jpcloet added:"I think this will finally raise the stakes of tournament play. Me likes! This is going to change Tournaments in a huge way." A week later, on April 21st, the idea was ready to go to public.

Shortly, Tournament Players Association [TPA] is CC's first league for tournament players and, according to Barterer2002, the idea behind the TPA is openness. It's a series of tournaments where one season consists of 52 tournaments (there are 52 weeks in a year). This doesn't mean that tournaments will be exactly 1 year long, it is as long as it takes to finish all 52 tourneys. Once per week, on Monday, a new tournament that is part of TPA is posted (it can be recognized very easily - there's TPA in the topic line). The size, setup and settings are different for all of them, trying to cover as many different play styles as possible. "Players do not have to join all 52 and indeed, may not be able to. It is expected that some of them will contain fewer players than everyone who is participating in the TPA," is a paragraph from Bart's introduction post. Several people have been worried that there won't be enough spaces for everybody who wants to participate but I don't think we should worry about that for now, the fact that each tournament accommodates at least 30 players is a good sign. Also, this is a huge project and first-ever in CC so it could be said that the first season is a test drive. Like Bart said:"Players need to understand that at this point there may still be some tweaking to do as we figure out how things work."

A lot of things have been figured out and discussion continues in the TO forums along with ideas and suggestion that include a special medal (made by Sir. Ricco) for the winner of the league () though it was made clear that it won't become an official medal. Nevertheless, top 3 of the season will receive a contest medal!

Main topic of TPA can be found in here (please note that this is not a sign up thread) where you can find all the newest data about the project - how everything works, scoring, list of tournaments with links and, of course, the scoreboard. Clearly, there's not much to see yet but I can assure you that from the moment the first tournaments is launched on May 3rd, 2010 (manual singles by HighlanderAttack) until last one (52nd) is finished, that topic is going to be packed with links to great tournaments from best organisers.

As everyone must have noticed, the new Tournament Tab has been placed on the top of the screen, allowing for easier access into the tournament community. With this tab, tournaments that would normally take weeks to fill can fill in a fraction of the time, without the organizer having to PM-spam players to 'Join their tourny, NOW', or with other annoying, ineffective methods. Those players must be coming from somewhere, right?

Most of the players that are joining tourneys using the tournament tab are players that have never even heard of tournaments existing on CC before, and they will usually join with posts like 'How do I join this tourny?' or 'I'll play, but this is my first tournament ever'. Are these 'new' players a blessing, or a curse?

Some people might argue that the players new to tournaments will not understand the process or the commitment, and they will just be a bunch of players that will need to be replaced by reserves, while others say that the new players will not only love the tournament aspect of CC, but possibly become active in the rest of the forum as well.

To help prevent the former, many tournament organizers, after a friendly call to action by Night Strike, are being a bit more explanatory in their posts and PM's, as well as being more patient with their players, so that the players will find the tourny experience to be a good one. amazzony says it all while posting in the TO's user group forum:

amazzony wrote:...lets all be friendly, nice and helpful... I'll start sending messages again instead of using invites so new players would get all the needed information and see how things usually work...

amazzony states how all organizers and players alike should act with the new players. Just a few kind words and a helpful shove in the right direction can make a player's experience in a tournament go from average to amazing and fun. Stay calm, answer questions, and do what you would want done for you if you were experiencing tournaments for the first time, and the problem of 'deadbeat players' in tournaments will not exist... who would drop out of a tourny when they are enjoying themselves?

Hello everyone! This week we - once again - welcome a new foundry reporter to our team. The Bison King will be starting an article series about maps that are recently released or soon to be released into live play, starting with Central America. Let's give him a warm welcome!

Our long time reporter dolomite13 will also be starting a new article series today, which will be published every other issue, alternating with the History 101 -series. Read more if you're interested!

Of course we also have the old favorite, maps in development. Happy reading!

The Wars of Unification Enter BetaIndustrial Helix, fresh from the success of his 13 Colonies map, has created not one, but two new medium-sized maps deemed fit by the Foundry for Beta-testing. The Unfication Germany map uses Iron Crosses for its objective; the Unfication Italy maps uses Shields. Both maps feature a victory objective based upon holding a handful of territories spread across the land. Both maps also involve 'disputed' territories that can give a bonus to either of the 2 different regions next to it. As you can see, the Unfication Germany and Unification Italy maps are similar in theme, style and gameplay- thus forming a small "map pack". Congratulations Industrial Helix!

Nordic Countries Open For Beta PlayAfter much ado, our own natty_dread has finally managed to put his beloved homeland up for conquest by the CC community at large. Nordic Countries is a medium- to large-sized map that makes great use of the "superbonus" scheme that is also used extensively in World 2.1. Add in the Scandinavian captial cities and presto!- you have the formula for a very enjoyable CC map. Conratulations natty_dread!

Feudal Epic Map QuenchedAfter a good run in Beta, the grand-scale version of the classic Feudal War map has officially been stamped as fit for play by the general public. Feudal Epic combines the beautiful simplicity of Feudal War gameplay with 8-player capability (the original map only supports up to six players). At 126 territories, the map certainly delivers on the claim of its title as "epic". Also, the graphics are slightly better, in my opinon, than the original. Congratulations goes out to both gimil, the.killing.44 and yeti_c for a job well done.

The Hive Map QuenchedWidowmakers delivers yet another quality map to Conquer Club with the quenching of The Hive. The Hive map sports very unique gameplay with fairly open avenues of attack for over 350 territories! One thing is obvious, that players will not have to worry about being eliminated early Hearty congratulations for Widowmakers!

Well it's been a long time in the making, (almost 2 years) but the central America map is almost ready for beta testing. It started as a holiday competition in november of 2008. It was Oaktown who originally conceived the design and territory structure but the final graphics, were going to be awarded to the competitions victor. Though there were many excellent submissions it was lgoasklucyl who took the cake. A virgin to the foundry this will be the first map he has worked on. In a way it is sort of Ironic since this will be the last map that veteran map maker Oaktown will help create. After 2 years and 12 maps the creator of such classics as, Eastern Hemisphere, High seas, Indian Empire, and many more will be retiring from the foundry. When asked about it he told me...

Oaktown wrote:anybody close to the foundry knows why I left. it just stopped being fun for me, and if something that occupies this much time stops being fun, it's time to move on.

As a personal message I would like to include that some of these maps are my absolute favorites, and that his contributions to the foundry will be missed.

...But time goes on and so does progress, and although progress has been slow, there have been many revisions to the map since it's original conception. One of the most prominent changes has been the addition of the sea ports. The original design had two sea routes built into which ran the length of the Atlantic and Pacific coasts. Since then that has been swapped out for two sets of three coastal ports. On the Atlantic side there are three ports that can all attack each other as well as the Pacific side. The Panama canal, (or as the territory is simply called "canal") holds both an Atlantic and Pacific sea port. This will obviously make it a key territory to hold in any game. Over all the sea routes should do a good job of connecting the various regions of the map and preventing bottle necking (especially from the south).

Little stands in he way of the map now from completion, and many look forward to it. Especially from the Latin American members of the conquer club since until now that has been a largely over looked region of the world in the map selection. However, that is soon to change!

This is Industrial Helix from the Melting Pot in the Foundry Forums. I'm writing on behalf of natty_dread's current work in progress: The Orient Express.

Firstly, I'm pretty excited about this map. I'm a fan of the Cairn's Rail Series and the late 19th Century Europe is a favorite era of mine and I think this map has the potential to successfully blend the two themes into a well done and fun game. The gameplay is headed in a unique direction with the rail and territorial bonus systems, which should be fun to play and a challenge to master (without being too complicated as well). The graphics are headed in the right direction with the replication of style of the old Orient Express pamphlets and posters of the era. One of the pillars of a great map are graphics that convey the time period and theme of the map successfully. I think Natty is well on his way to success in this area.

However, one major question stands in the way. We're looking for a gauge of support for this map for a number of reasons. The first is that there are a large number of European maps on CC and we in the foundry want to know if another would have your support. Another concern is that we're looking to welcome more thoughts and opinions in the foundry from CC players. After all, its you folks who play the maps and we'd like to know more about what you would like to see in a map, or what sort of map that CC needs.

Thanks everyone for your time, I hope you take a quick look at Orient Express and are as enthusiastic as I am about this map. Please vote in the poll or post your thoughts!

In this new series we pick a game mechanic, such as "one way borders", and show you how mapmakers have used that mechanic in creative or unique ways. Due to space concerns we can't cover every map in excruciating detail, however we will choose 5 maps to feature per installment. If you find a mechanic particularly fun or interesting you can use the Map Info Database to find other maps with the same mechanic. Who knows you may find a new favorite.

In this installment we are looking at "one way borders". A one way border is a border between two territories where units can move in only one direction. In this example territory A can attack, conquer, or reinforce into territory B, however territory B may not attack, conquer, or reinforce into territory A. For all intensive purposes A is adjacent to B but B is NOT adjacent to A.

Arms Race! - In the previous installment of History 101 we looked at the cold war and how this map related to that time in our history. This map uses one way borders to simulate the fueling of nuclear missiles and their eventual launch. You start by conquering either of two silos, from there you conquer the launch platform and then each successive stage of the missile until ultimately you have armed the warhead and can launch the missile. To simulate the warhead the map utilizes the bombardment mechanic but we will leave that for another installment.

Battle for Iraq! - This map uses one way borders to represent your ability to gain the loyalty of different factions in each city. As you conquer the map you can assault and conquer the associated loyalties. Each of the 4 factions use a different bonus structure, for example; al-Qaeda is +3 for every 2 loyal cities and they can attack any Sunni cities on the map, whereas the Baathists are simple +1 for every loyal city. The creative use of one way borders and varying bonus structure help to make this map quite a challenge.

Draknor: Level 1 - This map represents a fantasy style dungeon, it is comprised of 37 territories further separated into 5 continents. Thus far nothing particularly unique about this map. However every connection between territories on this map utilizes one way borders. All rooms on the map are connected by one way locked doors which create for a unique and interesting strategic challenge.

WWII: The Invasion of Poland - There are several examples of one way borders on this map; each commander territory can one way assault two adjacent territories, armor units can one way assault up to two territories away, and the Polish Air Force can assault any commander territory. Combines with bombardments and a wonderful map layout this map beings you a wonderful gameplay experience.

Monsters! Battle for the Powerstones (beta) - This map is currently in beta however we felt that it was worth mentioning in this article. This map is segregated into 4 quadrants that are only connected via one way borders, represented by a magical spell that can one way assault two territories in each of the four quadrants. Additionally one way assaults between wizards, a corresponding monster, and their protective shield create in one way loop when combined with the killer neutral mechanic help to protect the wizard from early game elimination.

Next installment we will look at the "Victory Condition" mechanic.

Feel free to send me your feedback or suggestions for future History:101 or Under the Hood articles at ccdolomite@gmail.com or via private message to dolomite13.

To see the full sized preview of the following maps just click on the title of the map, to visit the map development thread

Melting Pot

Recent Design Brief Submissions:

ThysenealMapmaker:The Bison KingDescription: A new map of an imaginary continent at an industrial age. Made with an innovative watercolour technique.

Siege 2Mapmaker:porkenbeans & DJ TeflonDescription: A sequel to the popular Siege map, a promising concept from with lots of visual sparkle.

Gameplay Workshop

Orient ExpressMapmaker:natty_dreadDescription: A map of the legendary Orient Express railway which combines standard gameplay with rail map dynamics. It also now has a sister project featuring the Trans-siberian railway...Present development: Recently moved to gameplay workshop. A poll is on the thread.

Description: Just another lazy sunday morning, watching the cricket game... OmG! Look at that guy streaking through the field! Present Development: Final graphical adjustments are being made. Coordinate testing.

Description: A map of Macedonia with pretty much standard gameplay. For friends of small maps.Present Development: The map has stood still for a while. Perhaps some feedback would get this up and moving again...?

Description: From World War 2, the battle of Stalingrad - Nazi Germany vs. Soviet Russia. A complex map.Present Development: Recently moved to Final Forge. XML is being written.

It's an exciting time for the clans - more competition and at a higher level than ever before, new clans forming, new players joining clans ... so we're relaunching the clan section of the Dispatch. We'll be bringing you news on clan matches, analysis of the clans, and players' own stories. In this issue we are joined by Chuuuuck as we look ahead to the Conqueror's Cup quarter-finals, Bogangod reflects on what makes a clan live or die, hopscotcher tells how FOED grew out of O&H, and we hear how it is for one new recruit as he joins a clan.And reptile talks to players from IA, LoW, KORT and BpB, and the clan directors too, to bring us a major retrospective on season two of the Clan League.

Round one of the Cup is completed, half the competition's games have been played and the last eight clans are starting up their quarter final threads in the Clan Challenges forum. We asked Cup organiser Chuuuuck of Empire if it was time for would-be winners to start proving their credentials:

Chuuuuck wrote:I don't think any particular clan needs to prove anything in any match beyond just getting a win. The great thing about the Cup is you don't have to win votes from others by how bad you beat your opponent, you just have to win and move on and then show up in the next round and do it again. However, I do think it is very important for everyone to show up and play their best in every game now. There is nothing but top competition left and if players get lazy in any games then I am sure it will prove to be costly for them.

Here are the match-ups, and Chuuuuck's pre-game thoughts on each:

C.C. EMPIRE v KoRTLubawski kicked it off with a cash and a quick run to clear the board for Empire; bruceswar hit back with a sweep for Knights of the Round Table; soon the cream of Empire and KORT were wading in to score points for their clans. The battle has swung this way and that but nothing separates the combatants as we enter the final set… We are of course looking at the best outbreak of trash-talk the Cup has yet produced, and which has enlivened the clan challenges forum since the draw was announced way back in January. Fortunately, the wise heads of Chuuuuck and Foxglove have prevailed and the clans are entering into this with their rivalry expressed in friendly sporting spirit. Check out the new sigs in the thread... and after the challenge we will see the sigs custom-made by the winners that the losers have promised to wear.

Chuuuuck wrote:I am probably most excited about the Empire and KoRT match but that is obviously due to personal bias. Both clans in this matchup are very strong and have the talent to become one of the best in my opinion. I think this is a huge match not only in the Cup but also in the clan rankings in general.

C.C - TOFU vs the LegionIn just nine months, The Odd Fellows Union, a tight group of less than 20 players, have defeated all in their path by crushing margins: all their League Division B opponents, Mythology, Brethren of the Fat Mermaid in the Cup and most recently Angels of Death. TOFU, the Cup's number 2 seeds now face their toughest opponents yet: ++The Legion++. The Legion often feel they are under-rated as a clan. With eight victories from their last nine challenges, and on a high from their dramatic turnover of Imperial Dragoons in the first round of the Cup, the number 10 seeds certainly have a record to be proud of.

Chuuuuck wrote:TOFU and The Legion could prove to be a very close match. TOFU seemed to of struggled early against BotFM while The Legion pulled off what many consider to be an upset of ID and advance (although I don't think they feel it was an upset). They seem pretty confident that they can now give TOFU a run for their money and I am excited to see them try.

C.C. The Immortal Assassins v. Legends of WarNumber four seeds Immortal Assassins take on number five seeds Legends of War. Both these clans will be busy soon in the league playoffs, having won their respective divisions,and this makes for an interesting match-up. LoW play tight but can they field enough strong teams to take on the likes of IA’s outstanding trips and quads players such as MasterFenrir, FarangDemon and ahunda over a full-length challenge? This was the first challenge to post games - quads fans might enjoy these just started in the first set: Game 6897986 and Game 6874057.

Chuuuuck wrote:LoW and IA have both been top clans for a good amount of time now. They each have a lot of talented players. LoW seemed to have struggled a little bit after the TOFU split but they seem to have recovered from that and are coming back strong. I am excited to see their matchup unfold.

C.C. THOTA vs. NemesisTHOTA, long-time top clan, are up against Nemesis. Is this the softest quarter-final? Nemesis have had a great run lately, but don’t have a record at this level. Will they give THOTA a tough fight? Or might THOTA arrive in the semi-finals short of match-play practice and facing fired-up teams looking to raise themselves above the chasing pack? We invited Freakns, Cup leader of Nemesis, to banana milkshakes at CC Towers to give us a detailed analysis of his clan’s chances:

freakns wrote:

Dispatch wrote:Are you going to be boiled like a sausage or are you going to eat THOTA up like a cabbage?

Lets hope for the second option its going to be hard as hell, that much is certain, but let’s hope lady luck will guide us

Chuuuuck wrote:You have THOTA who is clearly the number 1 clan playing against a very tough Nemesis who has been playing great lately. They have been winning some big matches, they have performed well in the CLA, and they have had some big showings in some recent tournaments. I think it will be very interesting to see how they match up against THOTA.

In one of my few reflective moments whilst grooming my mullet, I paused to think about clans for a moment. I started to wonder why some clans stay around for a long time, and others are just a brief footnote in CC history. Being almost as dumb as my avatar and profile would suggest, I knew I had to ask wiser people than I for their thoughts on my most vexing and pressing question.

I sent out a pm to a few other clan leaders, long time CC members, forum trolls, and serial clan jumpers. Asking people to respond with their ideas on the main reasons clans fail or fight on. Thanks to all that responded, special thanks to Georgerx7di, and jpcloet.

Responses were varied but some common themes and ideas were as follows - please note these are my words, have attempted to condense and paraphrase others' wisdom to make myself look smarter.

The Main Reasons that clans sink or swim:

Leadership – A clan without an active leader/leaders finds it hard to motivate their members and retain their members. A clan also can’t be defined and dominated by one person. If they leave CC, or are inactive for a while then the clan will flounder. I’ve learnt that it helps to share the leadership, and to have other members of the clan help with organising clan activities. The only thing that clan leaders can do that members can’t is add and remove members.

Vision/Direction – A clan without a theme/direction/plan/goals will stagnate. Successful clans such as THOTA have an excellent theme, and lofty goals. I don’t think a clan with fluffy kittens as a theme would be quite as successful. Clans that set their goals low achieve those goals, but really achieve nothing. Clans that have defined and achievable goals such as crossmap and gold team medals for all members, raising the clan average rank to major or colonel, or other such goals, have a sense of working towards a common purpose, whilst helping other members achieve personal milestones.

Chemistry/friendship – playing with people that share similar interests or a sense of humour, or maybe share a common taste in maps and settings is easier than playing with those that you can’t understand or empathise with.

Playing together – successful clans play games together, enter tournaments together, sometimes organise tournaments/competitions within the clan for fun stakes like avatar/sig changes.

Size – In large clans it can be difficult for players to know everyone in their clan(see hopscotcher's article for more on this subject). Clans that have split, have often been the larger clans, with those that play together frequently going on to form a new smaller clan. A large clan has to be organised along regimented lines with clear division of duties and a very formal structure. This can take the fun out of things, plus people can feel unloved and excluded. A clan that is too small puts too much pressure on their members, with a high game load trying to play clan wars. Bit of a quandary there, most people I talked to felt that size was really important but there was no clear favourite between large and small clans. Not surprisingly those in large clans felt large clans were more stable, and those in smaller clans felt that smaller clans are more stable.

People – The most important thing. I stay in the clan I’m in because of the people. I suspect that most people join clans because they know some members.

Activity - When you login to CC, and find that nothing has been written in clan forum, what incentive do you have to visit the forum? Don’t visit the forum often enough, and you start to question the value of being in a clan. Having active threads/stickies about tournaments, and clan wars, jokes, a thead for people to brag about another medal, reaching a new rank, pulling out a great win in a close game. These can all spark interest and help keep a clan active.

Winning – Not many people mentioned this. I found that a bit surprising, maybe I just have a shallow competitive nature. Thought that more people would find it important enough to mention.

I’m no closer to working out why some clans survive and other don't than I was before, my tiny brain is aching and I need another drink. Must remember not to think, its nasty. Hope I’ve given all those in a clan or thinking of joining one something to think about. Now its time for that drink.

So the question on everyone’s minds nowadays seems to be: What happened to the Outlaws? Having been a member of Outlaws and Highwaymen, and now a member of the The Fraternal Order of Exceptional Drinkers, I have a singular perspective to offer. I joined the Outlaws when they were in their beginning stages, to which I return now.

When Rocketry first formed the clan Outlaws and Highwaymen, he had a unique vision. Fed up with the standard clan format of one leader telling everyone else what to do, Rocket decided to begin something new. It was to be a competitive clan, but focused on people, not games. He wanted a clan devoted to individuals instead of the other way around.

“Outlaws and Highwaymen has and always will be dependent on specific individuals.” - Rocketry

And to this newly forming clan, players flocked. At first, as is the way with most clans, the going was slow. The Outlaws had enough people, but not all of them active and not all of them aware of the goings on within the clan. During the first challenge against Mythology, at least 4 members were added and so cohesion was not as good as it could have been. Many of those players were new to clans and some had yet to play very many team games.

“It was just a free for all in the start. No one really had any idea what each other’s abilities were, so we just grabbed games as they came up” – danryan

The Outlaws managed to win that first challenge and in great part, this is due to the fact the people who were active within the clan had camaraderie. There was a definite sense that the clan mattered, right from the start and that it stood for something. Even in those early days, it was about the people, not the competition.

“Being an Outlaw was like being in a frying pan that wasn't a cunning man, because none of us could give a William Pitt about the other fake tans. We just played for a Regents' Park.” – Pander88uk

The Outlaws continued to grow and succeed in Clan wars, the CLA and the TLO. It could have been the perfect story, except we all know it doesn’t end happily. So what is at the root of the division within the Outlaws? I equate it to a storm: each player a charged particle in the same cloud and everyone with their own individual spark.

“I don’t think any of us expected to perform as well as we did. Once we started winning, we got that thirst and nothing could stand in our way.” – wolfpack0530

“Rocketry gave me a chance when no one else would have even considered me. I had played a couple of doubles games on Alexander’s Empire. That’s it. Now look at me!” – safariguy5Challenge after challenge, the Outlaws gained respect and prestige. Then one day, without warning, Rocketry simply stopped logging in for games or posts.

Later, the Outlaws would find out that Rocketry had gotten beaten in an alleyway for defending a girl. Romance? Perhaps. We almost picture him swooping in with his dagger in his mouth and shouting “unhand that maiden!” Following Rocket’s disappearance, danryan and brian fletcher took the reins and pushed the envelope, accepting and completing challenge after challenge.

“When we beat LOW, we were at the top of our game. But then something happened and it caught a lot of us by surprise. We had a clan challenge where all the game spots literally filled within two hours. The next thing I knew, I was in a game with mates I had only played with once or twice. It was very confusing.” – brian fletcher

“There was a lot of tension. Behind every post, you could almost sense it in the air. Some sort of electricity. A storm was gathering. We all knew it. We just weren’t sure when it would strike.” – L M S

The simple truth is that there were too many Active Outlaws at the time. There were 30+ members all looking for games every challenge and it got to the point people were assigned games and then ignoring the assignations. People were basically taking what they could get and a lot of players ended up frustrated in the process. And though the lines of debate were not yet clear, two schools of thought broke out amongst the Outlaws.

Should we continue as we have? Or… should we strive for more organization?

This debate was only exacerbated when Rocketry returned to Conquer Club.

“That was it. That was the lightning strike. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was really happy at first…” – L M S

“I was so happy when Rocketry returned I almost wet myself!” – wolfpack0530

After a close loss to Generation: One and another clan war starting against the Legion, the members grew divided. Some wanted more structure, some wanted less structure. Many did not care either way, but knew eventually they would have to make a decision. For some, it seemed there were too many challenges going on, for others not nearly enough games to play. And then the decision was made. The Private Messages started rolling into inboxes. Plans were hashed and the e-ticket was sent off after a deliberation on names.

“We all pretty much knew it would be FOED from the beginning, but we had some really great ones like War Pigs” - danryan

Of course, initially, not all of the Outlaws knew about the split. Many were shocked and forced to make a decision on where they wanted to be. Others were relieved that at last some peace would come to the churning seas upon which the little boat called O&H had been tossing.

“It was like watching your parents get a divorce. I wasn’t sure which side I was on. I stayed out of loyalty and I stand by that decision.” – saraith

“I had been thinking about starting my own clan. When danryan messaged me I was overjoyed!” - MNDuke

And now, after the split, both clans continue on. Both are represented in the upcoming TLO tournament and both have active challenges going. The Outlaws are challenging Angels of Death after some restructuring. Though none of the games have finished yet, the Outlaws are giving AOD a run for their money in the first set. The FOED have just beaten Black Sheep Squadron and are starting another challenge versus LOTZ. Only time will be able to tell, but both the Outlaws and FOED are alive and thriving.

“I like to think of it as mitosis. This is the best thing to happen to the Outlaws in a long time.” -Rocketry

“What I don’t want people to think is that this is O&H 2.0. FOED is its own entity. It might take people a while to see that, but I’m sure after we’ve handed it to some decent opposition, we’ll be seen for who we really are: a bunch of drunks who are really good at auto assault ” - danryan

Ed: The story looks set to continue: as we went to press, O&H appeared to be experimenting with name changes, trying out the Latin, Interdictos & Latrunculus then FOED...

What a year it has been for the CLA League!!! So much excitement, fun and unpredictability. So what is missing in this year’s Clan League? Well to start out with... nothing. In fact last year’s CLA tournament was such a big hit that the number of participating teams doubled! The other main change was that this years CLA Tournament will include a playoff for both Division 1 as well as Division 2.

Fifteen clans entered last years tournament, while this year 29 finished! That is nearly DOUBLE!! The pre-season predictions were pretty standard coming in with THOTA predicted to finish tops of Div 1A, and TSM tops in Div 1B. But as the League progressed something seemed out of place. As the tournament advanced closer to the playoffs THOTA did not! TSM was fighting with LoW for the top spot of Division 1B, but in the last few weeks alone TSM's race for 1st turned into a race for 2nd/3rd (2nd = the last playoff spot and 3rd means no playoff!) with the Bullet Proof Bandits. BPB are for the most part more of a social clan than a competitive clan. In the end against all odds it seems, their fate for the last playoff spot came down to Game 6636243. The option was simple, since TSM had the tie breaker BPB must win this game in order to advance to the playoffs. A loss would mean a tie that would give TSM the final playoff spot in Div 1B. After weeks of back and forth, BpB took the game. So I say again... what is missing in this years CLA League? Conquer Clubs "top two clans" will both miss out completely on the playoffs, and with it THOTA's chances to repeat!

So who will be the NEW Champs of the Clan League? ... Read on my friend... read on

Division 1ARundownFor Division 1A, there was not much of a race for the playoffs as they neared. The Immortal Assassins held first place in their division for most of the season. However, near the end of the season, they did fall behind the Knights of the Round Table (KORT) by a few games. This set up an epic Week 24 match vs KORT. IA was able to steal 5 out of the 8 games from KORT in what was the second to last match of the season. This did regain IA the lead by just a single game. In the final week of the regular season, they added 1 more win than KORT, which guaranteed their spot as the #1 seed in Division 1A. This was just another great showing by one of CC's best. IA was ranked #4 by clan leaders, #3 by the RPI and finished 3rd in last years CLA League. They will be facing the Bullet Proof Bandits in the first round of the playoffs.

AH: Remembering our challenge against them, I am not as surprised at their success in the CLA league as some others might be. We will certainly not under-estimate them. I already stated this, before the season started: Once the play-offs go ahead, anything is possible, ‘cause in those small 17 game sets everybody can beat everybody.

MF: They're a good clan. I haven't played against that many of the BPB, so it'll be kind of interesting on a personal level. In terms of planning and pre-match game plan, not much will change. We'll put our best teams forward, and let our performance do the talking, like usual.

I do hear a lot of nonsense about them being the sexiest clan ever. I guess we'll see who's sexier. I mean, c'mon, we're immortal assassins. What's sexier than that? We're kinda like the sexy vampires from Twilight, except we don't sparkle.

Rep: Prediction for LOW vs KORT matchup?

AH: I count both among the top clans at CC, and as I said: In those 17 game sets anything is possible.

MF: Ha, hard to say. I was in the O&H crew that beat LoW, so my viewpoint may be skewed somewhat. However, my understanding is that both LoW and KORT have recently recruited several good players, so I'm sure it'll be a good war. If I had to choose, I'd give the edge to KORT because I played them more recently in the CLA and found them to be tough opponents.

Rep: Did you guys change anything up in the final weeks to catch up and pass KORT?

AH: Not really. We were actually rather busy playing our Dragoons & AoC challenges alongside the league. So if anything, the league actually got less attention from us in these final weeks, since we were qualified for the semi-finals rather early.

MF: I was just joking with Loki yesterday that a certain late-season addition who went 6-1 made the difference. The truth is, no, we changed nothing. IA has players that would make most clan leaders reach for Lubriderm. They're good all the time, because they're just good. JustCallMeStupid went 18-4, and jabajabba and 300spartans both went 17-4, and FarangDemon went 13-1 in the regular season.

If their skill was a woman, it wouldn't be a one night stand. It'd be the kind of woman who you take to Outback because you love the sirloin, and you know she loves the Caesar salad, and then you take her back to your place and turn on some Barry White, and then you unselfishly show her a good time. Yeah, those guys are pretty hot.

I'm sorry. That metaphor went awry several sentences back.

Rep: Thoughts on KORT's performance in the last couple weeks?

AH: I cannot imagine, that they played any better or worse in the final weeks than in the rest of the season. Maybe they just hit a streak of bad luck towards the end?

MF: They were great, as they were in the previous weeks. When you have two top tier clans facing each other, and skill is matched by skill, strategy matched by strategy, it really just comes down to dice. The fact that we beat them by a few games doesn't mean that they performed worse or that we performed better in the end.

The First Nations quad against them, Game 6472108, was my one loss in the CLA after joining IA. That game was late in the season, so I can tell you first hand that they weren't slouching or losing steam. It was a fantastic game. It was kinda like one of those Dragonball Z episodes where Goku and Freiza or Cell is powering up for like 10 episodes until Goku pulls out the predictable Your Ass is Dead Spirit Bomb . In the game, that was when Bruce hacked the dice and killed Gore. So to answer your original question, yes, I hate KORT.

. . . . .

The Knights of the Round Table finished the regular season 12 games ahead of the third place Horsemen of the Apocalypse (who were favored to win Division 1A). Though they will be considered the away team in the first round of the playoffs I don't think that the odds will be stacked against them in any way. The reasoning behind this is that no clan had a better away record than KORT, in fact they almost had twice as many wins as losses in the away match-ups. This was a very impressive showing for KORT as they were voted #6 overall by clan leaders, and 18th by the RPI system... almost a B level clan!!!! So if there was a Cinderella team KORT would probably be it. They will be faced with the task of playing against the Legends of War.

Rep: IA has taken over 1st in Division 1A from KORT, what happened?Foxy: Obviously they managed to win more games than we did in the final weeks of the league. They are a great clan, and handed us one of our 3 league-week defeats. Unfortunately for us, those defeats happened near the end and caused us to drop to second place.Rep: Is playing from 2nd instead of 1st a big deal?Foxy: Well, it means that we now have to face LoW in the playoffs! And I, for one, am figuratively quaking with fear! But I will muster my nun-like composure, and put on my most serene face for the sake of the clan. Anyway, and otherwise, no, not a big deal. The league has been a major test of our strength as a clan, and we are quite pleased with our performance. It's not bad at all for, as we were called in these forums a few months ago, a "B-class clan with no significant wins to its credit."

Rep: Thoughts on playing LoW instead of BPB?

Foxy: Well aside from the fact that I'd put my sexiness up against theirs any day of the week (except maybe Thursdays), no, not really.

Rep: Prediction for IA vs BPB matchup

Foxy: I'm gonna have to go for IA.

. . . . .

Division 1B RundownThe race for Division 1B's final playoff spot was intense to say the least. The Spanking Monkeys faced Generation One in the last week of the regular season while the Bullet Proof Bandits faced the Black Sheep Squadron. The Monkeys only had to win 3 out of the 8 games to advance to the playoffs and lock in the #2 spot, even if BPB went 8-0 in their final week. It seemed like all odds were against the Bandits as even the tie-breaker belonged to TSM, but give up they did not! They were going to play their best and know that they gave all they could. BPB did do their best and helped their cause by finishing the final week with 7 wins and only a single loss. Meanwhile G1 helped BPB's cause as well winning 7 of 8 vs the Mighty Monkeys! Yes, you heard correctly, and your math was right. BPB with G1's assistance knocked out the Monkeys and look... a playoff spot for BPB. Like i said, what a final week! Oh, and did i forget to mention that in their final meeting (week 22 of the season) BPB edged out TSM by a score of 5-3 (a difference of 1 game), coincidentally BPB only edged out TSM for the playoff spot by 1 game! It seems it is BPB's destiny to win the CLA league this year. Buckle up and hang on Conquer Club, it will be a hell of a ride all the way to the end of this years CLA league.

Fc: The BpB have, historically, been regarded as a social clan purely because we have generally eschewed the usual route taken by those, who it may be said, obsess somewhat regarding challenges. However, we have had challenges and over the months have quietly honed our skills without the kind of fanfare that can be seen, perhaps, as ‘pride before the fall’. We already have another challenge lined up once this seasons CLA draws to a close.

Rep: Why didn't you guys play in last years CLA?

Fc: Simply because we were not ready.

Rep: Did you guys change anything for the final week/s to help your cause?

Fc: We changed nothing. We continue to support those who are playing in the BpB teams and keep the number of entries in the BpB forum regarding the CLA games and threads to a reasonable, even minimum, number. We have a simple philosophy of taking each game as it comes and doing our best.

Rep: How much did you have to pay to G1 to get them to play like they did against TSM?

Fc: We offered them free pictures of… (rest deleted by ed.)

. . . . .

Legends of War took advantage of TSM's bad luck in the final weeks and pulled away into a comfortable lead, and in turn benefited from it. In fact what most may not know is that Legends of War was watching the BPB and TSM final games as much as they themselves were. But why? Well, Legends of War had a losing record in only 3 out of the 14 match ups in the CLA regular season. Two of them were to the Monkis! Not to mention one of their few Clan Challenge losses was also to the Monkey hands. In fact they were all so close that only 3 games separated a 60 game challenge and each of the two losses in the CLA league were only one game difference (3-5). As i just mentioned a sentence or two ago, that TSM entailed 2 of the 3 LoW regular season losses, and guess who #3 was.... you guessed it the Bandits!!! However, you can bet that the Legends of War will be trying to continue their success all year into the playoffs... after all they did finish with the best record going into the playoffs. That has to count for something.

Rep: Excellent job finishing the regular season with the best record in Division 1, does this help your momentum going into the playoffs?

Wase: Of course it does. I think the morale in the clan is high, which is always a great thing. After the split with TOFU, we actually considered not entering the League as we were not sure how we'd fare. But I am now glad that we did, it acted as a catalyst for bringing the clan back on its toes.

Rep: What a finish to the regular season, BPB knocking TSM out of the playoffs and KORT catching and passing up IA for 1st in Division 1A.. thoughts?

Wase: Indeed. It just goes on to show how the development of competitive clans in the site. You can no longer bet your money on a clan without the fear of losing it.

Rep:What are your predictions for the BPB vs IA matchup?

Prank: Kinda depends on the players they have going against each other(on the map/settings) and how many games are each of their top players going to be Active in. Winner will most likely be the Clan that can win Away Games.

Rep: What are your expectations going forward for the rest of the playoffs?

Prank: Nothing short of winning it all will be acceptable to me.

Rep: Finally, LoW had only 3 weeks that they did not end up with a winning record, 2 of them were to TSM, thoughts/comments especially with TSM missing the playoffs? The other week with a losing record was against BPB... how interesting.

Wase: TSM is our nemesis. We have never won against them, and probably never will. It's ok, I can live with that.

Prank: Well by no means was any loss versus either respective Clan's a blowout. They were all close battles and made for excellent series. Looking forward to the next time we face em.

Rep: The other week with a losing record was against BPB... how interesting.

Wase: But we took our revenge soon enough. In our home week against BpB, we went 7-1.

. . . . .

So what Happened to THOTA and TSM?

I mean, they are two of the top clans on CC! In fact if you ask around you will receive and find very similar answers. Evidenced by both the Conqueror's Cup Clan Leaders vote and Jp's clan rankings the top two clans are THOTA(#1) and TSM(#2). Both clans have been consistent in EVERYTHING THEY TAKE ON... with the exception of one thing... this years Clan League Tournament. In fact last year THOTA won this tournament and TSM finished in 3rd. To see all last years results click here: CLA Season 2009 Results. So what happened? Did the earth rotate onto a new axis and drop both THOTA and TSM right off of the face of this planet? Read on my friends, read on...

Let us dig a little deeper into what REALLY happened to TSM and THOTA. Recently they battled each other in a fierce clan war that ended with a victor... but not by much: THOTA 41-39 TSM...it could have gone either way. Before that challenge both clans were undefeated in Clan Challenges. Obviously when you have a #1 and a #2 ranked team playing against each other, you MUST put all your effort into those games in order to win, no matter what side you are participating on. In the end, the immovable force stood its ground, but not easily as it was a battle all the way of CC's top 2 clans. This was a challenge that did everything but disappoint! I for one am a strong believer that the quality of your play is a direct result of the quantity of games you play. Basically that the fewer games you take on, the more time and effort you can put into each one you do play. In some cases, games get thrown on a back burner for the likes of a "more important game". In this case, this already has been what the CC community decided happened to TSM and THOTA (see below). And the most legitimate reason that TSM and THOTA missed the playoffs in this years CLA League. Whilst most the other clans were playing their butts off for the CLA League, unfortunately for the Horsemen and the Monkeys, their butts were facing each other. Maybe that is what was decided was the best way to go... if you ask me... that is probably not what the sexiest clan on CC would have done (the butt game) .

Rep: Thoughts on both TSM and THOTA missing the playoffs?

Fc: It is unsurprising seeing as they had a massive confrontation in the middle of the season. Whether this was good planning may now be subject to argument, but it is certainly not something we would issue a formal opinion on. CC is still expanding the clan culture and I fully expect the competition to get hotter as this course of events continues. One can only wait and see if they really are a slowly diminishing light or will be back next season, leaner and fitter. I know where my money would be.

AH: The obvious answer would be, that they probably focused their attention & energy on their challenge. On the other hand I think, the top of the CC clan world has grown closer together. Both sure have an impressive line-up & challenge record, and THOTA certainly are the number 1 clan at the moment, but I don´t think, they are exactly miles ahead of the field.

MF: It does sound wrong, doesn't it? Like when you're first told there's no Santa? Then you cry and snot drips down over your lips, and you kinda suck in some of the snot because you're hyperventilating. But then your mom reminds you that you still have gifts under the tree, which is the important thing, and you realize that you never really liked Santa in the first place. Good. Eff that guy. More milk and cookies for me.

Anyways, I think their war against each other was probably worth more in terms of reputation, so I can understand if what happened was that the CLA games got shorted some attention. Whatever happened, they are both outstanding clans, and I'd bet money that they'll be in the playoffs next year. That is assuming they can hold off on a rematch until then, of course.

The Final Say goes to the Clan DirectorsMore than anyone else the clan directors jpcloet and Marval deserve most of the credit... This was the second season of the CLA League, the first was a big hit... this one was even bigger! The CLA is the future of clans, and the future is now. I wanted to see if either director had anything to say about different happenings during the season. I did get a chance to talk with JP.

Interview with JPCloet

The CLA League was an even bigger hit this year than last year. Last year there were 15 clans, this year 29 clans finished, AMAZING!

Season 2 was meant to be as inclusive as possible and hopefully will be the standard going forward. While we did lose a few clans, many more have surfaced over the last year and Season 3 could be even bigger.

Obviously you two have been keeping track of the league this year. What are your thoughts on TSM and THOTA both missing the playoffs?

The level of play within the top 10-20 clans is some of the highest skill you will find on the site. Some clans have proven to be consistent winners, however, the ability to maintain a perfect record is extremely tough to do. We've had a number of conversations around how many games it takes to get a solid result and while challenges are now at 40, it has taken a full 112 games to decide the 2nd place in Div1A. That was a big surprise for me.

Prediction for this years playoffs for Division 1?

I'm going with IA over LOW. I think IA has been extremely tough, and is the one clan I'd not want to face right now. LOW has something to prove and I think they will come up just short. I think LOW will have a very tough match up with KORT.

Prediction for this years playoffs for division 2?

TOFU in a landslide over AOC. TOFU is world class and is only biding their time.

Want to expose anything about next year’s CLA League?

Nothing to expose really. World Cup of Clans was the original idea, however, many still want to keep a league format. A multi-stage league is more likely.

Ever thought of joining a clan? Well, it’s a lot like getting married… but long before the wedding bells comes all that tricky business of eyes meeting up across a crowded room, your best chat-up line and your best smile… that’s how it was when barterer2002 recruited ZionT to join Generation One. We took barterer2002into a darkened room for him to tell us the recruiter’s story:

Primping and preening In G1 we try to get everyone in the games unless someone doesn't want to. For us, that is more important than "winning a challenge" We also expect our members to hold themselves up and not be one of those players who consistently complains about things like dice. We all know players out there that only lose because of dice but never win due to them. Those players aren't going to be recruited by G1.

What’s your chat-up line?Typically we use a recommendation format. We've done open callouts in the past but have not been as happy with the results. Thus today, if we're looking, we tend to have a member bring up a player that they may know from around the site and we talk a bit about them before asking if they'd be interested. It usually gives us an ability to weed out issues before it even gets to that point.

Where do you go on the first date? We use a temporary forum to get to know a recruit and allow them to get to know us. These conversations can be about anything but there is always a discussion about the virtues of coconut cookies vs. peanut butter cookies which is a very important position to take (see ZZ's cookie tournament). We play a few games and usually this process will take about a month and then they're in with full membership.

ZionT – hot booty?Well obviously he's a quality player but from our perspective, the way he carries himself in games is more important. Many of us have played games with him and/or had him as a player in our tournaments and there are often things in games/tournaments that can be complained about. Zion always seems to have things on an even keel and never complains when things go a little off as can happen.

How is ZionT between the sheets? Zion has just gotten his full access to the G1 forums this week. We're still playing his test games but we're all happy with him. He's already on one of the G1 teams in the next TLO tournament and we anticipate him becoming a valued member of the clan as we go forward.

Thinking about settling down? I've thought about joining a clan for a while, but never found the right one. I always wanted to maintain my "voice". However; barterer and the other G1 clan members approached me with open arms, assuring me a bit and I was hooked.

Where did you guys hook up? Well, if you've been on this site for even a day, you'll probably see the name somewhere. G1 is probably the most active tourney building clan, it seems like every member is setting up one or another. Formally, I spoke with barterer2002 and went through an application process once they vetted me. After getting to know the members, I played a few games with the gang and felt it was a good fit. Great people, very fun group!

G1 – what’s hot?The people! It's a high quality community atmosphere and a group of players who are all good active players and take an active role in the site.

Kissed any frogs?I have been offered to join many clans before, but never really considered it. I won't get into the names because I really respect those people as well. G1 was the first group I ever considered!

First date? Second date? Have they taken you anywhere swanky yet?I'd say it's going better than expected! I'm new to the clan business (never been in one before) and I have to say it's far more comfortable of a mini-community than I expected. I'm in a few games with my mates and joining many more.

Unfortunately, Minister Masket, I do have some troubled feelings regarding the gross inaccuracies present in your coverage of my glorious chatglove script!

To wit:

Clueless Masket wrote:So one of our tech monkeys had hit his head enough times with a wrench to create this add-on.

Gender: inaccurate!

Clueless Masket wrote:Also, the creator appears to have a horse's head for an avatar. You can draw your own conclusions from that.

Animal in avatar identification: incorrect! That noble creature is a cow. A beatific nun cow, to be more specific.

Minister Masket wrote:The Floating Game Chat. Really? Who thought this would be a necessary contribution to the CC experience?

This is the most sorrowful travesty of all! Obviously I thought this was a useful and intriguing contribution as I spent a non-trivial amount of time creating it.

I took a look at your game selection, Minister Masket, and it is obvious to me why you fail to appreciate the excellence of this add-on. The chatglove is ideal for communicating in team games and in speed games (neither of which you seem to play much!), so that you can see both the game chat and the map at the same time, without scrolling. Additionally, to further facilitate team chat, the chatsniffer feature of the chatglove alerts you when you have unread game chat in any of your games.

Anyway, I will readily admit that there are many people for whom this script will provide no real benefits, but if you are going to feature it in the newsletter the least you could do is make a trifling effort to understand the problems it is meant to address and the players who might appreciate it.

What do we say, next issue we knock another add on that one of our fellow Conquer Clubbers makes?

12:17:31 ‹Pixar› im gonna be fappin to that all night long10:59:12 ‹rhp 1› holy hell... that did it.. I pissed myself15:15:52 ‹Ace Rimmer› Sackett58, I think I may get some action this weekend15:16:05 ‹Sackett58› Right hand or left Ace?

Usually, I find the articles in the Dispatch informative and/or entertaining. Unfortunately, Minister Masket's article on the ChatGlove add-on is neither. He completely failed to do any research into the applicable uses for this add-on and in what game situations it would come in handy. Additionally, he didn't even mention the added benefit of having the add-on keep track of when you have new chat messages in your games, so that you don't miss anything that your teammates may have posted in your team games.

I am very disappointed that he would rather take cheap shots at a fellow CCer (who has taken the time to offer a useful contribution to the other gamers on the site), than to actually take the time to learn about the add-on and then inform others of the pros and cons so that they can make up their own minds on whether to add the add-on to their CC experience.

Minister Masket wrote:So one of our tech monkeys had hit his head enough times with a wrench to create this add-on. As a result, now you can fufill the impossible dream of detaching the comments box from underneath the map and moving it wherever you want around the screen!

Ew, who would want more versatility and less scrolling on the game page!?

Minister Masket wrote:What fun! You can even place the box directly over the map itself, so you can hide the shame of having only 2 territories to your opponent's 48 from anyone who might be watching over your shoulder.

Minister Masket on a piece of meat: "What fun! You can even place the steak in the middle of your TV!"Minister Masket on a golf club: "What fun! You can even try to shoot a basketball with it!"Amazing how you can portray an object in a bad and useless light when you frame it into situations where it's not in the least intended to be used!

Minister Masket wrote:Still not convinced? The link there at the bottom states that the download also makes the chat "warm and fuzzy", although one has to suspect if this is a thinly-veiled marketing ploy to lure the weak minded.

Any other references you wish to let fly above your head before you allow yourself to sound stupid?

Minister Masket wrote:Also, the creator appears to have a horse's head for an avatar. You can draw your own conclusions from that.

In other news, someone just unlocked a door. Good thing this anecdote is relevant and adds to the reference!

Huzzah! for the chatglove which enables you to know your team-mates are most likely yelling at you before you even enter the game!

Huzzah! for its ability to allow you to see the enemy swearing at you with regard to your dice/drop/skill/avatar without having to scroll down the page!

Huzzah! to the chatglove and its creator for lowering the stress level of a speed dubs game... lowering but not eliminating of course. To eliminate that stress one would have to avoid speed dubs altogether, which, sadly, is not possible for me.

elfish_lad wrote:Hmm... here is what the article on the chatglove was really saying:

Huzzah! for the chatglove which enables you to know your team-mates are most likely yelling at you before you even enter the game!

Huzzah! for its ability to allow you to see the enemy swearing at you with regard to your dice/drop/skill/avatar without having to scroll down the page!

Huzzah! to the chatglove and its creator for lowering the stress level of a speed dubs game... lowering but not eliminating of course. To eliminate that stress one would have to avoid speed dubs altogether, which, sadly, is not possible for me.

Huzzah!Huzzah!Huzzah!

E.

Would've been a funny short article that pokes fun at the utility of the add-on, see?

There have been a few misleading articles in recent issues. That one by Minister Masket completely misses the point and is factually inaccurate too. If someone is going to review add-ons ( which is a great idea, by the way) then can we get someone who has actually USED the add-on before reviewing it. Everyone in EMPIRE uses Chatglove/Chatsniffer and the creator of the add-on regularly creates great little scripts that benefit the users on CC. You may note that the creator is from KoRT, not EMPIRE - so this is not about sticking up for clan mates or anything.

How about this use of Chatglove? You are training somebody on a new map and they can move the chat window to where they can see your comments as they are sent rather than having to scroll up and down continuously....and missing something important.

How about this use of chatsniffer? You are awaiting advice on a move in a game from your team mates. As soon as they enter something in chat you are alerted by a Red "new game chat" note appearing under the appropriate game.

It may not be for everyone but I can guarantee that the people who read this newsletter the most are the people who benefit from tweaks such as these.

It would just be great if there someone who actually reads and edits articles before they "go to press" to avoid the writers sounding silly.

Last edited by chephren on Sun May 09, 2010 12:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

chephren wrote:There have been a few misleading articles in recent issues. That one by Minister Market completely misses the point and is factually inaccurate too. If someone is going to review add-ons ( which is a great idea, by the way) then can we get someone who has actually USED the add-on before reviewing it. Everyone in EMPIRE uses Chatglove/Chatsniffer and the creator of the add-on regularly creates great little scripts that benefit the users on CC. You may note that the creator is from KoRT, not EMPIRE - so this is not about sticking up for clan mates or anything.

How about this use of Chatglove? You are training somebody on a new map and they can move the chat window to where they can see your comments as they are sent rather than having to scroll up and down continuously....and missing something important.

How about this use of chatsniffer? You are awaiting advice on a move in a game from your team mates. As soon as they enter something in chat you are alerted by a Red "new game chat" note appearing under the appropriate game.

It may not be for everyone but I can guarantee that the people who read this newsletter the most are the people who benefit from tweaks such as these.

It would just be great if there someone who actually reads and edits articles before they "go to press" to avoid the writers sounding silly.

I agree with the last few posts. I am rather upset with the author about the chatglove script for pretty much everything that was written in it.

I am even more upset with whoever is in charge of editing and publishing the entire dispatch. It is a disgrace to all of the hard work you all do to allow a story like that to go to press. Not only was the article uninformed and non factual, but the author actually went out of his/her way to sarcastically put down the script and the creator of the script.

In my honest opinion I think that script is the 2nd most important script that has been created for this site. Behind BOB only. And if BOB didn't have snapshots then I would say that script is the most important. All in all, I have really enjoyed the Dispatch and seeing it grow, but that 1 article has made me lose a lot of respect for you all as a whole.

Before everyone starts criticizing Minister Masket's article, take a step back and think about it. Sure, the article wasnt the most informative, but it did show people that it exists, and if they click on the link provided, they will see all the options the add-on has to offer.

Sure, there were some sarcastic remarks, but I don't the the intent of those remarks were really to put down fox. They were probably just to make the article have a lighter tone to it, it wasn't to be mean.

And finally, if you don't like the article, go write one yourself! Masket put a lighter tone into an article that people apparently want to be all serious and hard facts. I understand where you are coming from, you want add-on articles to have correct facts and be serious and non-sarcastic..But that's not the way Masket wanted to write his article, and if you don't like his style of writing, you should go write your own article...

Sorry if my response seems angered or not entirely correct, but I just don't think its right when people criticize peoples writing, when it is completely volunteer run, and doesn't always have to follow a rigid, factual based structure.. I'm probably gonna get yelled at by some members now, but I said what I wanted to say

And since we are doing mutual congratulations, nothing like the super-high-quality job you did giving us such a great rundown on the whole league season.

RE: chatglove, I gotta say it's a script I & a lot of other team players really like, and I can understand Foxy's disappointment reading the article... but iamkooler makes a good point. We're volunteers doing this & OK we make mistakes, but if the only tone we can write in is gushing admiration for everything that's done on CC, then this sure would be a boring newsletter to read.

I agree this is a voluntary job and you all deserve much credit for what you do. But to me not only did that article come off as sarcastic and not factual, but it honestly came off as insulting. It came off like the script was worthless and whoever wrote it was wasting their time and I don't think it is good to appear the writers are insulting other caring members of the conquer club community.

But, I do love just about every article you all do write and for that I will say well done and congratulations. I have expressed my displeasure with this 1 article and I will let it be now.

And since we are doing mutual congratulations, nothing like the super-high-quality job you did giving us such a great rundown on the whole league season.

I definitely enjoyed both the clan and cup sections of this newsletter!

laughingcavalier wrote:RE: chatglove, I gotta say it's a script I & a lot of other team players really like, and I can understand Foxy's disappointment reading the article... but iamkooler makes a good point. We're volunteers doing this & OK we make mistakes, but if the only tone we can write in is gushing admiration for everything that's done on CC, then this sure would be a boring newsletter to read.

Well you know, disappointment isn't the correct description of my reaction - I was irritated! What bothered me about the article was the fact that masket seemed to have no clue at all as to the purpose of the script. I would venture a guess that he didn't even install it. My impression from the article was that he looked at a few of the screenshots and then put together some sarcastic, mediocre prose to describe his first impressions.

I don't require gushing comments of admiration (though I enjoy them when they are sincere!), of course, and in fact I would have far preferred legitimate criticism to his "I really haven't a clue" comments! Anyway, if he is going to "review" my scripts and imply that they are a useless waste of time, I will continue to respond as I have so far. And here's the thing: of course masket and the other newsletter contributors can write whatever they like. Similarly, the newsletter subscribers should feel free to make their feelings known!

Also, thanks to everyone who has written in defense of the utility of the chatglove and the chatsniffer - I'm glad it has an appreciative audience, however small.

And finally, I apologize to clapper for unintentionally shifting the focus of the responses away from her interview!

laughingcavalier wrote:Now, back to the real subject everyone: Clapper!

iamkoolerthanu wrote:Before everyone starts criticizing Minister Masket's article, take a step back and think about it. Sure, the article wasnt the most informative, but it did show people that it exists, and if they click on the link provided, they will see all the options the add-on has to offer.

Sure, there were some sarcastic remarks, but I don't the the intent of those remarks were really to put down fox. They were probably just to make the article have a lighter tone to it, it wasn't to be mean.

And finally, if you don't like the article, go write one yourself! Masket put a lighter tone into an article that people apparently want to be all serious and hard facts. I understand where you are coming from, you want add-on articles to have correct facts and be serious and non-sarcastic..But that's not the way Masket wanted to write his article, and if you don't like his style of writing, you should go write your own article...

Sorry if my response seems angered or not entirely correct, but I just don't think its right when people criticize peoples writing, when it is completely volunteer run, and doesn't always have to follow a rigid, factual based structure.. I'm probably gonna get yelled at by some members now, but I said what I wanted to say

I understand that the writers are volunteers and I do appreciate the work that the Dispatch does. However, doing volunteer work does not give someone the right to insult someone else just for kicks. I'm all for fun and irreverent writing. In fact, I've defended those types of articles in prior Dispatch newsletters. However, Masket really needs to think about what he's writing and how it sounds before he publishes it. I don't know how anyone can read his article and not think that it sounds insulting or demeaning.

P.S. Foxy also volunteered when she developed that script and made it available to everyone.

I'm 100% on Foxy's side on this one. Surely it's not too much effort to PM the script author to find out what it's purpose is.This would have prevented the embarrassingly poorly-informed sarcastic remarks.

Anyway, Foxy's scripts will be getting their well-deserved official credit soon enough, I am seeing to that.