Even though you’re 95% more likely to get shot in a theater by a lone wolf with a history of mental illness (code for “white guy”), theaters around the country added extra security for the opening weekend of Straight Outta Compton citing the shootings in Louisiana and Colorado. Yeah, I’m sure that was the reason. See much security when you went to go see The Man From U.N.C.L.E.? No? Ok, just checking. Turns out the extra security was just a waste of time, because even a lone wolf with a history of mental illness isn’t that crazy. But despite paranoid white people, Straight Outta Compton crushed the box office this weekend raking in $60.2M without a single person getting shot. It also apparently crushed the hopes of the LAPD that we’d just all forget about all the police brutality that exists today if we didn’t go see a movie about a group who wrote songs about police brutality in 1988. Haha, good one, LAPD!

Many LAPD cops are pissed at the release of “Straight Outta Compton” … because they feel the movie fuels hatred of police and compromises their safety. The cops we spoke with share one sentiment … the movie portrays the LAPD officers as “beating machines” … brutalizing innocent citizens in the inner city. Former L.A. City Councilman Dennis Zine, who was himself an LAPD cop and headed up the Police Protective League, tells us, “It’s a terrible time to release a movie like this. It adds fuel to the fire for hating cops.” The cops we spoke with are bitter, especially because they say they’ve spent a lot of time and energy creating bonds in areas where police abuse was once prevalent. Some of the officers specifically blame Universal, saying the studio is putting profits above the safety of the officers who make L.A. safe.

A movie compromises your safety? I’m pretty sure the only thing that’s compromised your safety lately is dashboard cam footage and bystanders with cellphones, because unfortunately for you, those aren’t grand juries. And why are you reading this? That ticket quota doesn’t fill itself by magic.