07/25/2019

Things are in place for the inevitable

There was another care plan meeting today. Overall, it was positive. Mom is obviously enjoying time with the chaplain and all of the music they play. She is not in pain and is the least agitated she’s been in her life. I had to ask about her weight and they were ready for it. Mom weighed 98 pounds in April and 89 pounds in July which made me tear up. They spoon feed her three full meals a day plus supplements, but don’t force it. When she stops opening her mouth like a baby bird for the next bites, they let it go. Obviously following her cues is the right approach and I am so grateful for their expertise. They reiterated that this weight loss is completely expected.

Meanwhile, everyone knows the direction this disease is going no matter how fantastic the care. The staff and hospice are doubly monitoring her condition. They are ready to call the church (already with her once a week) if the end is near. It is Mom’s wish to be cremated so that will happen. I won’t have an immediate funeral because it’s just the six of us here for her. Later I will take her ashes to New York and bury her next to my father, and this will be announced. This is the path Pat followed with my darling Grandma Dot so I continue to follow her example and know I’m still making the best possible decisions, although I never wanted to make any of them. It’s a lot like parenthood, you take care of the people in your life who are unable to take care of themselves.