"No I think you mean Affirmative Action," the PFY comments. "Equal Opportunities means that they'd both be considered regardless of who they were. Affirmative Action is intended to address a perceived lack of some group in a company for PR purposes.”

"It's not for P.R!"

"Right," the PFY says dubiously.

"Well this flies in the face of my Unequal Opportunities Policy!" I say.

"Your what?!?"

"Unequal Opportunities Policy. Which is basically 'if you can do the job, you're in!'. Couldn't give a crap about age, sex, race, etc. It's a simple policy, but it seems to work. Unless…"

"Unless what!?"

"Unless you're a thicko. I can't stand thickos. No offence."

"What do you mean?!"

"Thickos, you know, people who can't... well.. tie their shoelaces without assistance. No offence."

"What do you mean 'no offence'!?"

"Well you know, some people get upset when you say something like that - especially if they're a complete 'tard. No offence"

Five minutes later the Boss has company, in the form of the PR woman that'd spoken to me earlier.

"Well I was just saying that it's bollocks really. I mean down at our level no-one really gives a crap about the whole age/sex/colour/creed thing so long as you're good at your job. The thing we do have a problem with is people who are too thick for their role. No offence, No offence."

"Are you implying that we're stupid?"

"Uh... Lets see, how can I say this best? Ah! An intelligent person would not have needed to ask that question! No offence. No offence"

"I've been published several times in the Journal of Employment Diversity!!"

"And I'm sure both their readers enjoyed it," I add. "However I doubt that this means you have the wherewithal to properly administer a desktop machine."

"What's that got to do with it?"

"We're talking about the position of a desktop support person for the Finance area, someone who'll need skills in desktop support, minor administration, application installation and management, etc - all technical tasks requiring more than a little savvy when it comes to computing."

"Ah," the Boss says. "You were talking about computing intelligence! I understand now. You see, the way you worded it made it appear like you were suggesting that I - and Sheree here - were, well, stupid."

"Oh, I see what you mean," I say . "Unfortunately when you're in a position like mine you tend to see things in black and white as opposed to shades of grey. So whereas you might see yourself as in the upper 90 percents of intelligence, I might see you as in the lower 15s."

"Because of our knowledge of the spheres of computing is much less than your own!" the HR woman adds.