I am under snow! Albertans saw the fierciest blow of nature in these couple of days and for someone who resides in the southern part of this wonderful province I observed it too. It was beyond anyone's imagination, 40 to 50cm of snow and with a chilly, hitting-the-bone wind made it worse. Roads got stuck, transport got abandoned, schools were called off. I just wondered how quickly things change, how devastating one weather can be in a moment. The mother nature probably has more to offer and probably Mr. Claus would be a little to chilly to come accross Alberta. The weather is predicting one of the worst snowfall and down temperature over Alberta, Canada which means more uncleared streets, more stuck traffic and more traffic collision. I went out today to see the condition almost after literally being jailed for couple of days in house and found things are not same. Mother nature didn't seem short of powder to spray all over Lethbridge. The green turned golden grass buried in white snow and the roads got muddy. The high river bridge stands there all lonely with a gloomy background. Traffic lights are bleak, so are the faces of the people on the bus - no one is enjoying it for sure. When I first came here it didn't hit so hard, and I almost gave myself a false assurance of mild winter this time as well. I thought of finishing the winter with a feeling of survived-and-won. But my dream has been shattered in a cruelest possible way. I felt turned down like a fall leaf on the ground and blown away with reality. The sun is also not very keen to make any difference to the weather yet and we are left with another harsh winter to survive and pass.

Yes it never comes like this. The cloud never opens up and no lightning strikes to make us successful suddenly one day. We don't become successful by accident. Most of my topics are related to success, I suddenly realized it now; Is this one thing I am confused about or I saw so many hungry faces for in pursuit for success eventually happiness? I don't know. One thing I can realize is most of us want to see ourselves successful in our life and there is no harm in it. We are here to do something worthwhile, seeing back in later days and wanting to praise ourselves, and pat our back. But the downside of being so success obsessed could be that we overlook bigger opportunities to be happy. Small gestures, small contribution towards someone's life, making them smile does not take a lot of success from us. I have seen so much dog eats dog in this life, so many passionate workers to go dull in their work, so many talents being wasted. Only reason they wanted success, the success defined by others. That's why I wish I could write things for the pursuit of happiness and become a happiness preacher. It would be so fun to put smile on the face that are longing for peace. If my little contribution can make difference to someone else's life, this is what I have been sent for. I wish I had one remote control, pushing it would make people happy and let them do whatever they always have wanted to do in their life. But as I don't see this remote control has been invented yet and scientist have no intention to invent it near future as well, we have to get up and start looking for the meaning of life -the life we have been sent for.

Three months of leisure and hanging out - how does it sound? Believe me it's true and well you will get paid at the same time. I know it sounds almost a dream but that happens and not only once that happened to me three times in a row. My undergraduate University used to give us a break for more than three months in every second semester of the year. This time you would know your result, you would know there is no class, no assignment or exam and you would have full time only to spend the way you would like. And in these months you will be paid the way you were used to. When I got the first time vacation I couldn't even feel that. In my undergrad we had the fastest semester possible. Only 4 months and six subjects did not give us much time to stretch. The day the class started we were like bee busy to get everything done. In between we had to give quizzes, assignments and labs and exams. Now when looking back I feel a little amazed - how did I finish it this way? I guess it's the Parkinson's law and surrounded with like minded friends made it possible. So many times I talked about my undergrad University because I feel this is the place which made me what I am, shaped me up in the core. So many good memories - so many good things to remember. Hours of chilling out, watching movies, listening songs, playing games all the things that make my life worth watching back.Anyway I started with the vacation so I should be stick to that! So, the vacation came as a blessing to us. It was not mandatory to leave the dormitory during this vacation, so we used to be there, getting free foods three times, watching movies, playing tennis and hanging out - what more could we want for? The same corridor which became a deadzone during exam now turned to a noisy. We used to keep ourselves awake whole night and then go for breakfast in cafeteria. After having breakfast most of us would go for a long snooze. That would last till the lunch time and then the start of the game marathon or movie fiesta. Some of the very serious ones would start doing something with the lessons they had previous semster to make some robots and some would go to programming to brush up but we the 'lazy ones' would not miss the chance to take the shower in laziness and feel good resting. To me this three months of vacation actually made us more productive and made us ready to fight the frenzy 4 months war. Yah I would call it a war cause it almost made us crazy like being in a war. We were like co-fighters fought in that memorable war and survived. Ooh such a memory!

What is happiness to you? Or do you have your own formula to be happy? I wonder, as a human being how oblivion we are about the things that make us happy. On the other hand, we think we would be happy after achieving something and finally after getting it we don't feel as happy as we thought we would be! The intensity of our happiness fades away once we achieve it. So, we seldom know what makes us happy. But one thing is for sure that happiness is achievable. It's not your gene that prevents you to be happy. May be you need a little practice and self realization to know what makes you happy.

I feel, if we want to be happy we really don't need to be super achiever. It is within us, we just need to discover. Sadly mojor part of our happiness depends on the approval from others. We hanker for other's approval, their recognition to feel happy. Which we should avoid in the first place. The fulfilment after achieving something, which we tried to achieve for long, can give us happiness. We feel we have done something worthwhile, and again it can be anything: discarding the fear of electrocuted and then changing your bedroom light or putting your feet on moon as a hypsiphobic. Out from our comfort zone can be other thing. We usually find things are exciting and alluring once we get out from our comfort zone and try something new. This gives us an unbound joy to achieve something which we thought we were not capable of. Another way to find our 'happy-button' is to know the things we think we should achieve. Usually making goals and then try to reach there makes us happy. Downside of this ofcourse would be over ambition. Ambition is a great asset. We just need to know where and how to utilize it. Here comes the role of moderation to play. Everything should be in moderation to make ourselves happy, otherwise we would be caught up with boredom. So what are you waiting for, go get it!

I had a pact. My friend and I were like new bud-tester in town. Dhaka is a place where you would not find a lot of things to do - very few places to hang out, very few places for a quality times. So after being exhausted to find out a suitable place to play bowl, snooker or for a mere chat we ended up with our decision - Fast food joints are the best to hang out; What an irony! We used to meet there in weekends, sometimes brush up our pool skill nearby pool tables. But most of the times we were giving our bud a little more than enough. Very few of the fast food chains were there in Dhaka which our nostril didn't get the smell from. And once we finished testing all of them, we decided to stick with our favorite ones only. It was a fun seeing the same known ambience, same taste of food, same menu, same face of employees who greeted us as known friend. We used to be there almost 3 to 4 hours and ordering different dishes all through. It was like hanging out in it's best. We didn't bother about the topic of discussion and we went from office to politics to school days.

One particular day I would never forget. It was the night of Cyclone Aila. We guys were supposed to meet as it was last day of week and I was getting bored by whole week's office load. So, inspite of the warnings in medias, we dared to fix our dinner in one of my most favorite pizza corner. By the way, it was the best pizza I ever had so far and met there most wonderful service people in my life. I am not sure now whether the smile over the faces of the employees there or the food attracted us more. Anyway, that time I was thinking of start doing an MBA and my that friend was awesomely encouraging. He was one of the forces which made me thought of giving MBA a shot. He brought some guide books for me for the admission exam and we thought the weather would not be that worse. But the weather got really wild by it was 11 pm and still we felt it would not be that wild and would stop in couple of hours [hey, we have seen them all, haven't we!]. Little we knew it was just turning into a worst one. We still didn't bother of going and were chatting about how I should be preparing and all that. By that time we thought of wrapping up, it was 1 am and there was not a single person on the road. We got fully drenched with rain but didn't find better things to do except waiting for a taxi. We saw one taxi is coming, it was such a relief. I even started thinking of my warm bed. Wait, that taxi now would not let us in as he was going home. Now come on! We are all drenched in a horror night and you are going home!? We requested him for his mercy (!) and he gave us a 'king' look of "why the hell you guys are out for so long"? Yah we made a mistake, now show your prudence and give us a ride for God's sake! He still would not agree but I am sure he met two of the guys who don't give in easily, so we placed ourselves infront of his car. That worked and he reluctantly took us in his taxi. I am sure he was cursing us whole time but hey we were two nice guys - just hanging out late; a little too late!

Imagine a world where your richness is on your happiness - not on your wealth. Like, think it as a currency - national currency. What kind of person you would be then? What kind of job you would like to do to be rich? How much happiness you would give others for a transaction? Isn't it mind boggling? Isn't all our life we are actually trying to do the same but fail miserably by money? How much happiness you would spend to own a house, a fancy car or a sea side villa? But in that case we would be in a contradictory position. After buying that particular piece of house or car would make us happier - right? So, actually there would be no scarcity of currency. But there would be a catch. If you are too engrossed about getting happiness, which we are now for earning money, we eventually would be unhappy. And then we would be getting poorer. This hypothetical endeavour will be a scene to observe. We would be laughing all day at our work and would be given a healthy amount of happiness in return. We would love doing what interests us.

What would be your dream job then? For me it would be writing and listening music. I would be professional music listener and hobbyist writer. That sounds kind of funny and intersting. I would go to work to listen to the music I like only; would listen them thousand times and would be paid. I would be writing articles and would just be doing what I would feel doing. What a life! Why we just don't dump all the money out there and start this new currency!? What do you think?

While I started writing this topic, in back Ananda Shankar is playing his Missing you. Do I miss myself too? when in the dark night I feel I am empty inside, when the moon gets a little tired for being there so long, the snow stops dripping... I close my eyes and I see one young guy just passed his teen, looking past the corridor of his University residence. The spring breeze is giving a clue for the harsh winter, somewhere near some tiny animals are preparing themselves for the dawn, he is seeing the sky. The dark velvet over the skyline, few stars blinking with dead light, he is not very concerned nor so relaxed about his future. Things still to him, as good as it gets. Dreams got faded with the course of time and I am now sitting here after long 10 years thinking of giving some advice to this young me: No way you could get back these moments, save them. No way you could be so healthy, use it - go for jogging, play football, tennis, basketball - whatever gets you. Just don't sit back and let the time slips away. You really don't want to see yourself with some more extra pounds and some grey hair after few years. Studying is always good; no doubt, but realizing life and realizing that life is not only about education or revolves around success would give you more freedom to pursue your dream. Your dreams are there to shape you up as a person - not your education. I certainly am making this thing so straighten up but to me it's true. And again dream irrationally high, no one will put tax on your dreams. So spend time dreaming about where you really want to see yourself down in the road after 5 yrs, after 10 years, after 20 yrs. Make the plan and no way, no way at all, let other shape it up for you. Take the decisions which feel ok to you (I am glad I have taken some which failed in the middle, but can say my 30s self - I took the chance). Do not fear to handle any situation in your way or do not fear to be in conflict for which you feel you should stand. Your stance, your opinions, your decisions will make you the person you want to be. Enjoy the life, relax - you are not alone.

Documentaries are not something you would always like to watch. Sometimes you watch them and feel like you should have seen them way before. The following is one of them, but before that I would like to say something about it.

Racism is a core problem - from the start of the mankind. As a victim or as the culprit who causes it, we saw it. Differentiating someone for her skin color, race, ethnicity, beliefs, orientation, choice, inability is the worst part of human story you can play on. Sometimes the criminal lives in a dream world. They think this is how the world should go but one thing they are unable to understand that may be they are the one who should be judged or in a far extent being eliminated from everything. I always believe anyone can go as far as she wants. The courage determines the success, not the skin color or ethnicity or language or religion. We start making blunder when we tag them together and make a decision from our mindset.

And in this case the affected people and media has a better role to play. You just can't expect the neighbor starts appreciating your daughter's merit unless you start doing it in your home first. Corporate world, once again play a dirty role here. As a person someone should show more maturity as well. Using a fairness cream would not make you loveable, would not make you confident, would not change the job chance, would not make you a good person. It is within you and within your reach. If you really think you are a beautiful person, start believing it. Don't come in front of the mirror and praise how fair and beautiful you are. Your behavior and seeing the world eventually shows that to others and in a subtle way - to you. Grow up, see the world, appreciate it and help developing an affectionate one - not the opposite.

For your utter concern, I am NOT talking about text books. Well, they also give me remembrance, sort of; but never too pleasant ones! The books I am talking about are the ones close to my heart. The ones which kept me awake at night, forced me put it inside of text books to deceive my parents, the books which had a distinct feel-good fragrance in it. Most of them were like my second soul. The long I would read the books, the long I felt I am one of the characters [as a matter of fact, mostly the central character though!]. The whole time I read them, I felt like it is happening with me; in front of my eyes. I used to rate books for longevity of impact of the illusion on me. The most favorite of course gave me the longest experience of being-there-done-that syndrome.

It all started with the books I used to get in my birthdays. From the very little age those tales of Shorab-Rustam, Hercules, Arabian nights, Russian short stories made the pave to the liking. It didn't happen just like someone switched it on - rather it's other way around - I tried hard to switch this on in me. The sole cause is my family (well once again!). When you see all of your brothers and sisters are giving you a hard time reading books in a play time, you really need to give them a break!

We had a nice medium sized library back in my town. I am glad that it was there. This played an immense role on my habit. I proudly can say: most of the fictional books and English books out there got my touch. I can recall taking away 3-4 books for 2-3 days and return them back and again taking others. Some of the old books were fragile like a crisp baked paper. Some of them even not being taken ever. That surely got me in. A desire to put my name as first reader for the books actually helped me went through those untouched books. I moved and goose-bumped by seeing so rich collection of old novels yet being unread. Some of the greater version of learning I got from some of the great books, I still can recall.

Thank you books, you had always been a pleasant company. You welcomed me like a true friend, was there when I needed you and taken my tears on your shoulder. I can't recall any other friend with the trait you have - silent yet says a lot. Brilliant!

I sometimes being called phony, no not always but by the friends when it's about winter and temperature! I LOVE winter, I love the smell of it, I love the way it comes - Putting everything down to ground. Making everything looks pale and not so exciting could be another trait I like of it. Back in Bangladesh, the northern side always gets the worst share of the experience. They almost feel like 0 degree with no insulation and poorly equipped houses. But still I loved it, I waited for it to come. I waited for the early dusk, the lazy dawn and the not so bright afternoons. The wintry mornings were like covered with fog, making the commuting almost with a snail pace. One of my rituals was to picking the night flowering jasmine from grounds. Putting your bare feet on the drew drenched grass, smelling the winter and picking up the jasmine is heavenly experience. You have to make sure there are enough of them on the ground, if not, give the tree a little shake. Well wait, actually you should at least once shake the tree anyway. If you have not seen snowfall, you would have the experience of seeing a fragrant snowfall. You will be covered with the jasmines, you will start smelling it and start putting it in your pocket. A handful of jasmine would suffice to do a better job than your febreze. Wonderful!

A little heads up

The Blogorama is collection of my daily blog. Whereas category "Things made my life awesome" talks about my past wonderful experiences in an ascending order, "Now in my mind" says the issues I like my opinion on. "Life, in making" is recently started daily log (not so daily!), "Meditation" is something I come back so often, thought that would interest YOU too. Well, that sums it up (almost). So: Happy reading!

Me,

A constant dreamer, believe this is not the end of the world and try to make changes in my own life constantly. Life sometimes went hard and strict-my life's choices would determine whether I have taken them as lessons or punishment.

My Quote'

If you think someone else is the problem and is not letting you do certain things, that implies you perceive yourself a victim. Being victim is letting the person win. If you really want to make a statement: Ignore him.