When I was nineteen, I worked for a janitorial company. I actually hate cleaning, but had this random desire to clean and instead of just cleaning the house or something, I decided to get a job cleaning. It wasn’t all miserable, there was an entire month that I enjoyed my job.

My supervisor was tall, dark, and handsome. And sexy. And his smile melted me. Of course, I was shy and innocent, and had no idea how to get his attention. Even in my virgin status, I sometimes thought about fucking him at work. Just because, you know, fucking your boss is hot.

Needless to say, I never did find any womanly charms inside me, and I never talked to him outside of work related, brief conversations. I was never even sure if he liked me. But I sure had a crush on him!

Fast forward a few years, and he messaged me on Facebook the other night. Mind you, I don’t check Facebook much anymore, but he had poked me a few days prior, and I always poke people back. And when I did, he immediately sent me a message. We started messaging back and forth, just joking and messing with each other.

Meanwhile, I’m like “eeee! omg!” which is stupid, but I couldn’t help it.

We made plans to hang out at the bar Wednesday night. He tried getting me out Tuesday night too, but I declined. A girl can’t be too available, right? At least that’s what my brother-in-law tells me. He tells me I’m always too available. Not sex-wise, just as in I can hang out anytime, and that makes me look “bad” or something.

Whatever.

He told me he wants to see me, and I’m like “aw”. Well, not to him, but inside. I mean, I do find it odd that after all this time, he just now decided he wants to fuck me. Which is fine by me- kind of. As long as the boyfriend, who isn’t really my boyfriend- it’s complicated- lives with me, I wouldn’t feel right fucking someone else. Even though we’re not together, and he knows it. Still.

I wouldn’t mind fucking him, but I’m over here asking why now? We haven’t seen each other in a good year. We bumped into each other one night at a bar, and I pretended I didn’t recognize him. I waited for him to go, “Oh hey, (name), how are you?” and I smiled and said, “I wondered if it was you.” To this day, I’m slightly unsure of my reasoning to pretend I didn’t recognize him.

Besides that, we never talked. At all. Friends on Facebook, sure, but I don’t keep up with him, and he never likes any of my stuff, back when I posted, so unless he’s a silent stalker…

I’m rambling.

Wednesday night my friend and I go meet up with him and his friend. It was fun, kind of awkward. He had mentioned in a message that he likes me, and I just didn’t care for that…he doesn’t know me.

I made my friend dance with him, because I refused, and she loves dancing.

But then…a bunch of guys I know from my regular bar were there. And they kept coming over and talking to me, and while we’re all just friends, I wished they’d go away. I was there to see my (ex) boss, and ugh. Guys!

He ended up leaving pretty early, while I was in the bathroom. I messaged him and basically said that was rude. He’s like you went over to a table with a bunch of guys. No, no I did not. I told him I wanted to sit a table, and he said ok and watched me walk away. I meant with him, but whatever. The other guys just crowded over.

I was pissed. They never, ever do that. They’ll say hi, but never keep bugging me, or sit at my table.

Now who knows if I’ll ever get another chance.

One awkward thing: one of the guys I know, we’ve always had a flirty relationship, but he’s good friends with the boyfriend, yet when he’s not around, he gets bad. Last night, I wore a V-neck (to show some boobs for my (ex) boss) and he just pressed up against me and stared down my shirt. Like, wtf.

Two questions bug me.

Why the fuck wait all this time before trying to fuck me? What was the point??

Why does this guy, who has a gf, keep being all sexual with me? (we have a history, maybe that’ll be my next post)