3/20/08

When I was a kid I took karate*side chop* classes for 3 years. My parents instead of putting me in nice girly activities like say brownies or girl scout they put me in with a bunch of boys, including my brother. I wish I had pictures to show you guys.

My brother and I are 3 years apart, he being 3 years older than I, but as kids we were the same size. Especially in the 8-11 arena. We had knick-names in class mine was "watermelon head" his was "blind bat" *Hi Bro!*. Anyway we werent really that good but I made it as far as yellow belt and I think he made it to green.

The only reason this memory was brought up is because last night I took a cardio-kickboxing class last night with my friend V. She was all pumped up about it and she works out like 3-4 times a week (even though she has been slacking off with me lately, I have that effect on people) so she was stoked to see me go. Anywho... seriously... someone help me hear.... you know the dorky kid that is in aerobics class that you know that doesnt belong there? That was me. I sucked. They were going left.... I was going right.... they were kicking.... I was punching. It was so bad that one of the older ladies stopped and asked me if it was my first time and I'm thinking "Is it that apparrent?"

So Calluci (my karate teacher) sorry. I just suck at this. I am going back to yoga were even though I may be sweaty and gross at least i know the moves. Sorry to my high school step aerobics teacher too. Better luck next lifetime.

So 2 major things have come to surface this week. One I can't discuss in too much detail but the person(s) involved dicked me around too much on so many levels and deserves whats coming to them. Cheers Bitches! *Can you smell the animosity?*

The second one slighlty more detail. So you know sometimes there are people you should not become involved with yet somehow you talk yourself into thinking its a good idea? I had one of those. I can't even call him a bf. Things didn't end as I would have wanted but what can you do? I still have contact with this person just because of the nature of what I have going on in life and even if I don't have to speak to this person directly we still have a lot of people in common. Anyway I found out they were seeing someone new and they asked me if x or y had told me. I didnt know anything about it until it came out of their mouth. This was all confirmed by photos floating around and the only thing I could think in my head "Geez, you got older and fat since the last time I saw you. And that girl with you isn't that cute and to top it off she's old! Glad I didn't keep wasting my 20 something's time." *Barf*

Anyway seeing what turned out just put me in such a good mood. In both cases.

3/10/08

Seem's like only yesterday LJ and I started dating. We are less than 60 days away from our year anniversary. Whowouldathunkit? I know most of you guys have been with your guys forever so a year doesn't seem like that long but you know to everyone its different.

A not very known fact around here is that I have been engaged twice. The first time was a giant mistake and it was just a band-aid to cover up a huge problem. I was young and dumb. The second go 'round seem like the right thing to do but I knew in my hearts of hearts that he wasn't the one for me.

LJ and I have been talking about long-term plans for a while now. Last night he told me something that was totally unexpected.

"If I was basing this decision only on emotions you and I would be married already."Yay! In the same discussion he also brought up something that he knows will affect me greatly. LJ is an entrepreneur. I am a 9-5 girl that likes very little things to change and I love stability. LJ is very seat of his pants in everything he does while I am methodical borderlining OCD. I like to have control of everything. Funny thing is had you asked me 4 years ago I was a totally different person. His concern is he knows me very well and he knows that I have worked very hard to get to where I am at and he wants to make sure that I can handle emotionally the ups and downs that come with his business. Odd question? Not really. He knows I get anxiety relatively easy and he knows on the downtimes of his business he will already be kicking himself and he just wants to know that I wont be kicking him while he is down *i.e.: telling him to get a 9-5*.

Seriously, what the hell can I say to that? I love him, I will support him 10, 20 or 50 years down the road. Besides, its not like I don't bring enough home to support both of us and then some. Or does he expect me to say now that I don't think I can handle what MAY happen in 10 years and miss out on a great relationship based on something that MAY happen? One of the reasons I love him is the fact that he is ambitious. Hell he just got a business off the ground this year, we don't know the full results yet but still it take a lot to get it going.

So I know I have been a bad blogger. Even if it seems I am not around. I am here all the time. Normally just trying to catch up on my reader. I haven't even been a good commenter. Apologies to all.

Anyway on to the original subject. So from my last post most of you should have seen I have moved. The move was semi-planned but not really. I've known I was going to move for the last 2 months, I just didnt do much about it. I did throw away a lot of things and some things I couldn't get rid of till the last minute from guilt.

When my Ex and I broke up I had already moved into the aparment I just vacated. That move was even less planned b/c we only had six days to get the hell out of there. That's another story for another day. Anyway a lot of things got moved into my garage that I never looked at that were his. I knew they were down there. In the few months of friendship that we had after the break up I urged him to pick it all up. Even till recently I would send him text messages and I even called his dad to let him know that I have his stuff in my garage. My Ex was very passive-aggressive to say the least. So why am I making such a big deal about his stuff? Why didn't I just throw it out? Why didn't I Ebay it? B/c I have a heart. I was bugging him to come pick up all his family albums and pictures of when his son was born. *Yeah, who knew I was a psuedo-stepmom for 2 1/2 years*. I just couldn't imagine what I would feel if someone threw out something so important. He had 12 months to come and get it, yet he never did. So all this stuff that ended up being at least 3 boxes that actually moved ended up in my new garage.

I just coudn't take it anymore. We still have a lot of unresolved financial issues that I am still paying for that I can't even take advantage of that I am still angry about because he has now completely dissapeared. So all his stuff got thrown in the trash. Sadly, instead of feeling better it I actually feel worse. I don't really think it has to do with him but more with his son. His son and I were very close b/c the mom for a long time was very away and unstable. Then she went on to have another child and he was more or less ignored. He will never get to see all those pictures.

Congratulations asshat you just took some more of your kids dysfunctional childhood. If you would like to see your pics again go to the local dumpster they will be there. Fucker. I'll see you in court.