Tuesday, 30 April 2019

I Love To Watch You Whilst You Dance...

To my beautiful children

Lots of times I use this blog as a way of noting down stuff for you to read when you are a bit older. Kinda like a reference guide for when you become parents. I've talked about tantrums (TERRIBLE), potty training (OH GOD IT WAS HORRIFIC), how I felt after a C-Section (GRIM) and how awful you were when you were four Ethan (SWEET JESUS IT NEARLY BROKE ME) so today I thought I would write about something a little bit different. Simply entitled 'I love to watch you whilst you dance'. Because I do. There is nothing that fills my heart with such pure joy than watching you two dance.

I suppose if you're a new reader to the blog you might think "oh isn't it lovely she sends her kids to dance classes and they are now so great at it!". You would be quite, quite wrong. As whilst my little girl does indeed go to Freestyle sometimes these dances are terrible. Just awful. They aren't on the beat. They involve moves that probably could never be repeated if they tried. They always seem to take place at the end of my bed and occasionally there will be a fight mid way through. Or I dunno some sort of really weird bit where no-one moves and somebody whispers "your turn" "no it's you turn!" and I painfully just have to watch it all unfold.

But. I. Love. EVERY. Second. Of. It. I scream when you twirl. Have been known to cry (both emotionally and tears of laughter) when you kick your legs in the air. There is something so pure that fills my heart with joy. I could watch for hours and hours. Which is a good job as sometimes these routines go on for a good ten minutes whilst I play Havana on repeat. I see something in them that is so wholesome. Your willingness to put on a show just for me your very lucky Mummy. And I know one day you won't want to dance anywhere near me. And even now if I dab in public someone says "THE DAB IS DEAD!" and walks away from me in shame. But at the end of that bed you are free.

I'm sorry to say if you are reading this when you are big, you may have forgotten about your beautiful dancing. That now your brains are filled with work, paying bills, your own struggles with your kids. But I wanted you to remember at one time in your life you were free. And deep down somewhere it's still there. You lived by the rule "Dance like EVERYONE is watching". The idea that no one would be watching you is not the way you wanted to live your life. I'll be honest sometimes you didn't smile when you did your moves. Which just made it EVEN better. As you meant business when you dropped to the ground.

Of all the many things we've done together. Places we've visited. Experiences we've had. When I'm old and grey the main thing I will remember is you twirling around together with joy in your heart and me shouting "MORE". Or those times I come back into the living room and there's an AD on TV that's a bit jazzy so you're up on your feet. And the years I told everyone who would listen "oh they are such good dancers" even though my loves. You probably were a bit crap. You twirled, you jumped, you sang, you awkwardly stood looking at each other in silence and you filled my heart with a contentment I am forever grateful for.

3 comments

Not too hard to do, I admit, but this has brought a tear to my eyes. I sometimes feel myself welling up with happiness just watching my kids do the most inane things! This is lovely �� Ps. My daughter is now 4.5yo and oh sweet Jesus, four is a hard age...so.many.tantrums!!!