“I’ve learnt to tame my demons”

“I can do anything for Saif Ali Khan,” declared Parineeti Chopra recently on national television. “He gets my hormones raging,” proclaimed another actress in confidence. “He has an easygoing smile and this aura of coolness around him,” stated a fan once. At 43, there is something about Saif Ali Khan. No one flaunts fame quite like him. He floats above it even as he uses it to embellish his influence. He understands his place in the pantheon even as he remains hidden from the inquisitive lens. He behaves as you wish other famous people would behave: unrehearsed. And does what you wish other famous people would do: charms the pants off you. He knows what gawkers want from him on the red carpet. What reporters want from him, in interviews – and, by and large, he gives it to them. Want to know if he was a wild child, or a troublemaker? Want to know his take on fidelity or abouthis anger issues? The actor says it like it is. Rules of diplomacy be damned. Saif’s the king of cool.Much like you’d imagine a nawab to be. Regardless of the hits and flops SAK gives, no one can take the royalty status away from him. Not even the money-spinning Khans, Kumars or Roshans. Read on, as Saif gives Filmfare an exclusive peek into his multifaceted mind.

You’re that actor who’s given us Being Cyrus and Omkara. And now you’ve done Humshakals…(Smiles) You know as an actor, you want to push yourself, explore a different world. Normally, these choices mean doing niche films like Go Goa Gone. But I’ve done that and I’ve done Omkara and Being Cyrus. What I hadn’t done till recently was a completely crazy comedy with someone whose films have generally made more money than mine. Cocktail, Love Aaj Kal... these films have a certain range. I might respect them more but films like Hey Babyy and Housefull have made more money.

So it’s all about the money now?For 22 years it hasn’t been just about the money. I’ve done something different with someone who’s used to making more money. So instead of doing a niche film, I did a comedy with Sajid Khan, which was challenging and also quite tiring.

Bullett Raja was experimental too...Yes, it was. And I’m proud of it. People say all kinds of things when films don’t work. People from my office told me I’d lost the plot because I’d signed films like Bullett Raja and Humshakals. But with these films I’ve attempted something new. Having said that, my mind will wander. I’ve done a Sajid Khan film and Bullett Raja, so I’d want to do Shakespeare. I’d want to be a respectable actor as well. Happy Ending is turning out to be a good movie. I play a writer in it with an alter ego. It’s intellectually stimulating but great fun as well. My point is, can’t I mix it up? Happy Ending and Phantom are what you expect from me. But to stir it up a bit, I did Bullett... If Bullett had run, people would’ve appreciated my choice. But it didn’t, so they were surprised.

Before the film’s release, you’d anticipated its failure in several interviews. How so? Well, I said it based on the track record of the director. His (Tigmanshu Dhulia) films have run only in a certain section. It’s not like he’s made the kind of money Sajid has. But I was brave enough to work with him. So my cinematic heart is in the right place. I wanted to work with the guy who made Paan Singh Tomar. I liked the audacity of Sahib Biwi Aur Gangster. I believed working with him would be fun and it was.

Considering you’re a Hindi film hero, why do you say that you don’t watch Hindi movies?The point is, I’ve never watched Hindi films. Earlier, they were so dramatic that I didn’t like them. There was always a mother figure crying. Sometimes it’d be my own mother (Sharmila Tagore) and I wouldn’t like it a bit. I never liked her doing melodramatic roles like Mausam. Hindi cinema was too taxing for me to watch. My kind of film to unwind would be Clint Eastwood’s A Fistful Of Dollars. Now that I am a Hindi film hero,I don’t watch Hindi cinema because it’s nice to cut away from work. I’d hate it if I had to live, eat, breathe movies. You have to disassociate from work. On a plane, there’s no way I’d watch a Hindi film over Thor. Maybe I’ll watch it to see what someone is up to but that too would be more of a research and development job. Also, the industry is all consuming. It’s fake. You can’t get too involved with this profession, it will destroy you. You need to be around your friends.

Have you made any friends in the industry?I don’t need to make friends here. I am cordial with everyone. You cannot be friends when you’re basically not interested in a person’s well being beyond a point. Friends are people who love you and want you to be successful. No one wants someone else’s films to be too successful. No one is Mother Teresa. You don’t wish them ill. But you don’t pray for their success either. Plus, no actor is equal to the other here. So friendship is difficult. And you can’t advise actors on anything because they are all fixated in their views. They only want to give gyaan.

What kind of relationship do you share with your children?I love hanging out with Sara. I am proud of her. From drinking champagne to watching TV, we do a lot of stuff together. She’s understanding. She says she can do anything for me.

That’s normal for a daughter to say…No, a lot of daughters wouldn’t do that. She made herself the soul of my wedding (to Kareena Kapoor), which was a big thing for a young girl to do.

Since she’s a teenager, do you have the fears that fathers have?There are fears about heartbreak and there are fears about pregnancy. But more so, only if you feel your children are irresponsible, because then you know your kids can hurt themselves. I was irresponsible. I couldn’t be bothered. I always felt it was someone else’s problem to sort me out. Nothing ever mattered to me. But it matters to Sara. So she’ll party till 5 am at our wedding. But she’ll go to school at 7 am in a rickshaw because she wants to give her exam. She’s driven. Even if she does vodka shots, it’ll be on a holiday. She knows her priorities. She knows what she is doing more than we do. I am not overprotective about her.

How wild were you in your heydays?(Chuckles) Oh, I was awful. Shhhh…

What about Ibrahim? Are Sara and he alike?Yes, he too is grounded, well-behaved and responsible; he’s just not so kicked about academics. He likes making movies and loves cricket. He loves celebrating holidays. You know, Sara doesn’t even like spending money. When she had to pack up her dormitory, we could get someone to do it for her in $200 but she chose to do it herself. She’s borderline frugal.

That’s good upbringing.Well, I would’ve spoilt her. But this has a lot to do with the other people in my family, who are like that. Her mom (Amrita Singh, his ex-wife) has taught her that. But I also believe it’s all her. An individual eventually comes into his/her own. You can’t constantly be someone you’re not.

In an earlier interview to Filmfare, you’d said that your ultimate dream was to retire in a Swiss valley. Do you still harbour that dream? (Smiles) Did I actually say that? If I retire in Switzerland, I’ll probably kill myself. It’s really quiet there. It’s away from civilisation so it’s nice only for a while. I don’t even know if I want to retire. I would be sad to retire because this lifestyle is unbelievable. Lifestyle as in, looking out of the window in Mauritius while shooting for a film. Then going off to Beirut or Los Angeles. We work hard but we have amazing perks. So what I would’ve meant is when I start taking it easy, I’d like to be wealthy. So I can have a nice whiskey by the fireplace and talk to someone I am fond of without stressing about money.

Do you save money?(Grins sheepishly) Not as much. It’s 50-50. I’ve only started now because I don’t want to save it all and do nothing. My philosophy is that anything can happen any time. So you’d rather have fun whenyou can.

How much have you changed in the last few years?At 40, suddenly, it all comes together. That’s when you realise no more excuses now. You try and be the best you can be. You start getting interested in other things apart from sex, booze and rock-and-roll.

Those have been the influences in your life for a long time…They still are but in moderation. Other things have become more important now. I didn’t have the most successful childhood, schooling life, marriage or the 20s. I had a blast but it’s shallow to look back on because I only remember having fun. I don’t remember the fun. No concrete achievement. Now, in the past seven or eight years, life has been stable and grounded. It has happened because of all that I’ve done and been through. Now I feel my past has to count. I’ve learnt to tame my demons.

Kareena always says that you’ve shown her the good life. What has she brought to yours?Many things. We have our individual mind spaces and enough things in common. Enough because we can’t have everything in common. You can get fed up otherwise. We like the same atmosphere. That’s key. We like relaxing at the same place. Our age gap is working fine in terms of wisdom and experience.

So older men should marry younger women?Yeah, I definitely recommend it. It’s also nice to be married to someone who’s fun, beautiful and non-judgmental. All three things. It’s not good to be married and then look at another woman and say she’s hot. It’s better to have a hot and sexy wife. Never have room for regret and never say, ‘Oh, I wish I was married to a beautiful girl’.

What are your views on fidelity?After 40, when sex stops being the most important thing in your life, you have a chance at building something good. And you don’t want to go mess it up because you’ve taken a long time to build a safe zone. (Laughs) But when you’re 20, 25 or 30... no chance dude.

Will you and Kareena start a family soon?It’s not number one on my priority list. Maybe after sometime. Having children makes a unit complete and there are some lovely things about it. It’s a life-changing thing. So when you have a baby, it should just be about the baby. Right now, our life is about travelling and doing these hectic, fun things. This is not the time. It will come though.

Yeah, you guys have taken off on quite a few holidays of late.(Cuts in) No, yaar. Mostly, we’ve been on outdoor shoots. The only holiday we go on every Christmasis to Gstaad palace in Switzerland or to the English countryside. This time though we’ve decided to see the Aurora Borealis in Finland. So that we can look at that amazing sky.

Is there a side of your personality you need to work on? I can be rude to people I disrespect because I can’t tolerate their existence. But if I respect you, even for the smallest smidgen, I’ll be the best to you. This is something I feel for my chowkidar downstairs. I love him and he loves me back. He finds me to be the best-behaved and elegant person who will ask him how his mother is. But an annoying person will see the contempt in me. And he’ll usually hate me. So I need to work on tolerating people I don’t like in a polite manner. (Laughs) But I also couldn’t be bothered about what people think.

It’s nice to not care about constant approval.Yeah a) I can’t help it and b) at 43, this is how I am. I call a spade a spade. Probably it’s the boarding school effect. I can proudly say that I am a good friend. I love the people I am close to. But I am not a people pleaser and will never be. I can’t stand people pleasers.

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