husband refuses me to breast feed!

So my Husband and I are neck to neck about breast feeding when baby is born. We are from two different cultures and he says his family doesn't breast feed. My family does its like a right of passage and encouraged. We are an interracial couple his white am black. His mum insists I don't breast feed too. I have stood my ground but they are still in conflict. I invited my husband to the maternity unit where they were educating about What is good about breast feeding. He started to change his mind but says I can only do it for 1month. I still insist on doing it 6months as midwife advised. What do you think ladies? Anyone in this dilemma?

So my Husband and I are neck to neck about breast feeding when baby is born. We are from two different cultures and he says his family doesn't breast feed. My family does its like a right of passage and encouraged. We are an interracial couple his white am black. His mum insists I don't breast feed too. I have stood my ground but they are still in conflict. I invited my husband to the maternity unit where they were educating about What is good about breast feeding. He started to change his mind but says I can only do it for 1month. I still insist on doing it 6months as midwife advised. What do you think ladies? Anyone in this dilemma?

I don't understand why he would "refuse to let you" breast feed. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to see it or do it. There is tons of research out there about the benefits. I've never heard of anyone being morally opposed to it. The only reason I wouldn't do it would be if I couldn't handle how it felt or if the baby wasn't getting enough nutrition/my milk never fully came in, but not because of moral issues.

I don't understand why he would "refuse to let you" breast feed. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to see it or do it. There is tons of research out there about the benefits. I've never heard of anyone being morally opposed to it. The only reason I wouldn't do it would be if I couldn't handle how it felt or if the baby wasn't getting enough nutrition/my milk never fully came in, but not because of moral issues.

I do really feel for you I simply can't understand why people are so opposed to the feeding mechanisms provided by nature. I really do hope that he comes around before June. how does his family feel about expressing and feeding the expressed milk in a bottle? If you breastfeed for the first 6 weeks or so until your supply stabilises this might be a happy medium though it will create a lot more work for you. I feel so grateful that my partner felt that breastfeeding was so important for our children's health and well being and was so supportive it's hard without support I'm glad your family seems to know what it's all about for you!

I do really feel for you I simply can't understand why people are so opposed to the feeding mechanisms provided by nature. I really do hope that he comes around before June. how does his family feel about expressing and feeding the expressed milk in a bottle? If you breastfeed for the first 6 weeks or so until your supply stabilises this might be a happy medium though it will create a lot more work for you. I feel so grateful that my partner felt that breastfeeding was so important for our children's health and well being and was so supportive it's hard without support I'm glad your family seems to know what it's all about for you!

I'm also white and breastfeeding is viewed the same in my family as it is in yours. If he has agreed to let you for a month I'd leave it at that, still breastfeed for as long as you want, I'm personally aiming for a year, but I bet once you've done it for a month he will be happy for you to continue.... I just feel it may not be worth the fight now when he may concede later on. Why his family feel that way is beyond me though, the health benefits are so great and that's not mentioning the bonding and money benefits! xx

I'm also white and breastfeeding is viewed the same in my family as it is in yours. If he has agreed to let you for a month I'd leave it at that, still breastfeed for as long as you want, I'm personally aiming for a year, but I bet once you've done it for a month he will be happy for you to continue.... I just feel it may not be worth the fight now when he may concede later on. Why his family feel that way is beyond me though, the health benefits are so great and that's not mentioning the bonding and money benefits! xx

I think the extended family should have no say in this decision, and honestly, your opinion should weigh heavier than his. There are so many health benefits for you and the baby if you breast feed. It will also save tons of money. What is his reasoning? Does he have anything other than just agreeing with his family? By the way, I don't think this has a lot to do with race. I am white, and I plan to breast feed, and have heard no resistance from family. I'm sure many white families choose formula, but certainly not all. I can't imagine my husband trying to force me to make a more expensive, less healthy choice.

I think the extended family should have no say in this decision, and honestly, your opinion should weigh heavier than his. There are so many health benefits for you and the baby if you breast feed. It will also save tons of money. What is his reasoning? Does he have anything other than just agreeing with his family? By the way, I don't think this has a lot to do with race. I am white, and I plan to breast feed, and have heard no resistance from family. I'm sure many white families choose formula, but certainly not all. I can't imagine my husband trying to force me to make a more expensive, less healthy choice.

Thanks ladies that's so encouraging. Midwife told my husband we can use the express bottles when my supply stabilises. The part I look forward to is having my baby breast feed its healthy and it sure did me some good. (My twin brother and I were breast fed for almost a year lol) I hope he does come around by June. Tried making him watch the breast feeding video given by the NHS he can't so fingers crossed xxx

Thanks ladies that's so encouraging. Midwife told my husband we can use the express bottles when my supply stabilises. The part I look forward to is having my baby breast feed its healthy and it sure did me some good. (My twin brother and I were breast fed for almost a year lol) I hope he does come around by June. Tried making him watch the breast feeding video given by the NHS he can't so fingers crossed xxx

Sorry ur husband and mil need a slap! Sorry to be so blunt. No1 has the right to deny a child what it is due. Baby' s immune system needs the collestrum. Why are u going to pump out all the natural nutrients and throw it down the drain and then feed ur baby some man made stuff? I'm no doctor but all I can say is the western world give too much choice about everything!!!!!!! People might not like my opinion.... But I had to say it!

Sorry ur husband and mil need a slap! Sorry to be so blunt. No1 has the right to deny a child what it is due. Baby' s immune system needs the collestrum. Why are u going to pump out all the natural nutrients and throw it down the drain and then feed ur baby some man made stuff? I'm no doctor but all I can say is the western world give too much choice about everything!!!!!!! People might not like my opinion.... But I had to say it!

Why don't we just all stop eating and live off protein shakes and multivitamins????? Also ur mil is influencing ur hubby.... When it comes to these things men really just rely on women to do what's best. Ur mil.... Just because she didn't breast feed does not want u to show her up.... By being a better mother selfless and patient the way mothers should be.

Why don't we just all stop eating and live off protein shakes and multivitamins????? Also ur mil is influencing ur hubby.... When it comes to these things men really just rely on women to do what's best. Ur mil.... Just because she didn't breast feed does not want u to show her up.... By being a better mother selfless and patient the way mothers should be.

Can I ask how old your husband and mil are? My family is all breast feeders. Mom bf all 6 if us, my aunt bf her kids till they were 2. I'm just weaning my 11 month old now. We are white but breastfeeding is very normal in our family. My husbands family all formula fed. They are much older than my family though- from a time when drs encouraging formula over breastmilk. My dh's aunt made her own formula! It just took some education and they all got on board.

Can I ask how old your husband and mil are? My family is all breast feeders. Mom bf all 6 if us, my aunt bf her kids till they were 2. I'm just weaning my 11 month old now. We are white but breastfeeding is very normal in our family. My husbands family all formula fed. They are much older than my family though- from a time when drs encouraging formula over breastmilk. My dh's aunt made her own formula! It just took some education and they all got on board.

I agree, don't make a major stink right now. You got the month and take it for now. When the baby comes things change, men get softer and a new appreciation for their wives/loved one. Plus during the month he's going to appreciate that he gets to sleep all night and you don't. Lol, my husband use to joke about that being his favourite part of breast feeding. Him and his family probably want to bond with the baby and one if the easiest way is through feedings. Who knows, after a month he may change his mind or even you for that matter.

I agree, don't make a major stink right now. You got the month and take it for now. When the baby comes things change, men get softer and a new appreciation for their wives/loved one. Plus during the month he's going to appreciate that he gets to sleep all night and you don't. Lol, my husband use to joke about that being his favourite part of breast feeding. Him and his family probably want to bond with the baby and one if the easiest way is through feedings. Who knows, after a month he may change his mind or even you for that matter.

I should warn you expressing with a pump looks way weirder then a child at a breast lol. Agree with other posters that after you've done it a few weeks hopefully it will be a non issue as it will simply just be seen as normal!

I should warn you expressing with a pump looks way weirder then a child at a breast lol. Agree with other posters that after you've done it a few weeks hopefully it will be a non issue as it will simply just be seen as normal!

You could always have him put money in the "formula jar" enough for on thing every day or to figure out how many time you feed then tell him you would need to open another jar so put more money in... Maybe the cost that you save will help a lot of men are driven by money. You can say that while you are breast feeding you can save up for the formula this way it isn't a shock when it comes time to start buying it... I am white and plan on breast feeding my husband is to and he was breast feed. He is a bigger believer in me doing it then I am. I think of the pain my friends all complained about the pain! Lol

You could always have him put money in the "formula jar" enough for on thing every day or to figure out how many time you feed then tell him you would need to open another jar so put more money in... Maybe the cost that you save will help a lot of men are driven by money. You can say that while you are breast feeding you can save up for the formula this way it isn't a shock when it comes time to start buying it... I am white and plan on breast feeding my husband is to and he was breast feed. He is a bigger believer in me doing it then I am. I think of the pain my friends all complained about the pain! Lol

Your boobs your body. If you want to breast feed then do it. Tell him you'd prefer support but you don't need his permission. Then direct him to Dr. Sears and kellymom.com. As for his mom, it's not her child so she gets no say if she can't be supportive of BOTH of you.

Your boobs your body. If you want to breast feed then do it. Tell him you'd prefer support but you don't need his permission. Then direct him to Dr. Sears and kellymom.com. As for his mom, it's not her child so she gets no say if she can't be supportive of BOTH of you.

I'll also agree with many PP that this isn't a race thing. I'm white and still nursing my 15 month old and plan to nurse this LO, too. It's not about race it's about education and the benefits to you and baby!

I'll also agree with many PP that this isn't a race thing. I'm white and still nursing my 15 month old and plan to nurse this LO, too. It's not about race it's about education and the benefits to you and baby!

Let me ask you this and please find the time to answer ...what in the world could race possibly have to do with this In any possible way ? I hate to even bring this up but I'm in an interracial relationship the same as you , I'm black he's white although I must admit we often forget we are anything other than an average , okay slightly happier than average couple hehe. Your husband not wanting you to breast feed is incredibly odd and for the most part unexplained please elaborate without using race as an excuse as there is no viable reason for a , white man, to tell a , black woman , that she can't do something with her own body. Also good job standing up for yourself against the mil they think they know but they where In our shoes once before too sometimes we just have to remind them ;)

Let me ask you this and please find the time to answer ...what in the world could race possibly have to do with this In any possible way ? I hate to even bring this up but I'm in an interracial relationship the same as you , I'm black he's white although I must admit we often forget we are anything other than an average , okay slightly happier than average couple hehe. Your husband not wanting you to breast feed is incredibly odd and for the most part unexplained please elaborate without using race as an excuse as there is no viable reason for a , white man, to tell a , black woman , that she can't do something with her own body. Also good job standing up for yourself against the mil they think they know but they where In our shoes once before too sometimes we just have to remind them ;)

Do what you want. My husband's mother didn't nurse neither did my sister in law and they both thought I was strange for doing so. When I nursed for 16 months, they thought I was even weirder. I didn't care what they thought. I did what I thought was best for my son, who is now 21 months and as healthy as a horse.

Do what you want. My husband's mother didn't nurse neither did my sister in law and they both thought I was strange for doing so. When I nursed for 16 months, they thought I was even weirder. I didn't care what they thought. I did what I thought was best for my son, who is now 21 months and as healthy as a horse.

Wow, how ignorant of both of them! How could someone be so against what is natural and truly best for baby. That being said, I chose not to breast feed my first baby 10 years ago due toy own immaturity and that decision was supported by everyone around me. This time I very much want to breast feed and be successful at it. I'd say if you are giving birth to that baby you have every right to make that decision yourself. Don't NOT do it because of someone else's hang ups! You will regret it and have guilt about it. Best of luck getting them (well mostly your husband) to support you.

Wow, how ignorant of both of them! How could someone be so against what is natural and truly best for baby. That being said, I chose not to breast feed my first baby 10 years ago due toy own immaturity and that decision was supported by everyone around me. This time I very much want to breast feed and be successful at it. I'd say if you are giving birth to that baby you have every right to make that decision yourself. Don't NOT do it because of someone else's hang ups! You will regret it and have guilt about it. Best of luck getting them (well mostly your husband) to support you.

Im sorry. But that's bullshiy. My husband wasn't thrilled about it either. I did my best to educate and he was still iffy. So at the hospital I made my decision clear. NOBODY is to feed my baby a bottle or put a pacifier near his mouth until I had the chance to attempt breastfeeding. The nurses and hospital had to listen to my request even though he is my husband and the father. After the first day where he realized ALL the feedings fell on me he was fine =) his job at the hospital were diapers and helping me walk lol. He quickly found the bright side to breastfeeding. Your husband regardless of race and his *itchy mother need to respect your decision as the babies MOTHER. Btw im white and so is husband. His mom did breastfeed but he never was. He was Adopted.

Im sorry. But that's bullshiy. My husband wasn't thrilled about it either. I did my best to educate and he was still iffy. So at the hospital I made my decision clear. NOBODY is to feed my baby a bottle or put a pacifier near his mouth until I had the chance to attempt breastfeeding. The nurses and hospital had to listen to my request even though he is my husband and the father. After the first day where he realized ALL the feedings fell on me he was fine =) his job at the hospital were diapers and helping me walk lol. He quickly found the bright side to breastfeeding. Your husband regardless of race and his *itchy mother need to respect your decision as the babies MOTHER. Btw im white and so is husband. His mom did breastfeed but he never was. He was Adopted.

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