Saturday, January 17, 2015

The Farragut Family Love Quadrangle is back but first, a quick summary of Season One...

Dr. Alan Farragut from the CDC was called to the Arctic Biosystems outpost with his crack team of epidemiologists (Dr. Julia 'Jules' Walker, his ex-wife, Dr. Sarah Jordan, his protege and bedroom companion and, Dr. Doreen Boyle who was simply the best character ever) to solve the mystery of a retro-viral outbreak. Complicating things were that his brother, Dr. Peter Farragut who had an affair with Julia, is also based there and has been infected with the virus which kind of turns people into...zombies? Ish? The director of the facility, Dr. Hiroshi Hatake, a sexy, sexy man, stymies them at every turn aided by his adopted son-cum-bodyguard Daniel Aerov and doubled crossed by crooked Major Sergio Balleseros. More baddies from the mother corporation Illaria show up, Doreen and Daniel die, Julia is revealed to be Hatake's daughter and becomes an infected immortal as aliens are behind it all but it's cool since Alan blew up a building, Peter's loyalties keep shifting and the Narvik virus gets loose. Everyone good? Excellent. Let's do this.
Julia travels to the island of St. Germain island to find the start of a pandemic and is knocked out by Tusken Raider Leatherface when she doesn't know the way to San Jose. Google maps, perhaps? Anyway, a massacre takes place on a boat which is Narvik-like except orange and non-zombie but still very dead. Peter Sarah and Kyle, who is like Captain Kirk but even more horny and henceforth shall be known as Dr. Flirt, investigate the party boat as part of a potential Narvik outbreak and find a single survivor, Leila, hidden away in the engine room. Ma'am, I know you've had a traumatic experience but will you go back with us to look for clues? Once we browbeat the captain of the boat to take us to St. Germain of course.

Leatherface carries Julia through the woods of the island to the shed of despair while on another part of the island, Team CDC arrives. Admit it. You heard banjos. Bringing survivors along is generally a bad idea as Leila gets spooked by the woods, the wind, eyeless rabbits hanging from trees..... Julia's tied up in the shed because she didn't know the way to San Jose. This is why geography is so important kids. Sarah gets hurt (again) and Dr. Flirt tends to her, asking about Alan whom she hasn't seen in a year. So we're just going to pretend that the pregnancy story line didn't happen? All righty then. Leila, please stop running; you might disturb the smoke monster. Nope, she's gone again. Way to get distracted by the plethora of human skulls on the ground and lose the survivor guys. Julia tries to free herself but Leatherface is having none of that and goes after her eye with rusty tweezers. I am very glad I wasn't eating anything right then. But wait, this is happening 30 years in the future so clearly Team CDC is not going to save Julia from having her eyes plucked out. First her finger, then becoming an immortal and now this? Girlfriend is having a rough life. It's okay though, Leatherface was just removing her contacts as apparently asking nicely is extinct in the future.

Team CDC tracked Leila to the shed of despair but it's too late for her as her eyes have been plucked out. As if the day wasn't bad enough, a lynch mob outside wants to parley as the island is dangerous. No kidding.

Leatherface has a name, Caleb, and he's not a very good host. Julia's investigating the outbreak of TXM7 from 30 years ago for Illaria as the Immortals have started dying too. It's only a stroke of luck that it might help humanity, a fact not lost on Caleb who doesn't seem to like Julia or the Immortals.

It's not a lynch mob, it's a cult yoga retreat...okay, fine. It's a cult and the elders don't seem to trust Team CDC as those on the island were trying to get away from the mainland and all the bad memories that it entails. Peter tries to use The Science on them but they don't seem to care as Brother Michael takes care of all of them. I'll bet he does. Brother Michael oozes sleaze and deflects all offers of help or requests for assistance. Seriously, the ladies of Castle Anthrax would be much better to deal with, well, for Dr. Flirt at least.

Caleb can actually talk and not just Hodor! Julia is searching for Alan and yes, Caleb knows him as he glares at her with steely eyes. All right, we get it. You don't trust Immortals blah blah blah. He'll take her to Alan through the woods at night. Listen man, you couldn't find San Jose in the daytime; what makes you think you won't end up in Albuquerque now? Alan's residing in a graveyard as he's dead and really Jules? It's 30 years later. He was no spring chicken then so what exactly did you expect?

As 'guests' of Brother Michael, an acolyte brings refreshment to Sarah - it's Alan. Wait, what? Did the Arctic Biosystems adventure have him turn to a cloistered life? No, he's deep undercover. We know this because he has a beard. Below ground, someone's teeth are pulled out of their mouth but it's cool. They get a delicious beige smoothie as compensation. Who wants to bet that it contains Agent Orange 2.0?

Next week on "Helix," the virus is loose in the abbey and Brother Michael plays God. Man, everyone's a geneticist nowadays. Join us next Friday on Syfy at 10 p.m. ET for 'Reunion.' Here's a sneak peek...