Finding my north star, figuring out what color my parachute is, discovering my Italy, following my bliss, being the best me I can be…..and enjoying the journey

My Least Favorite Expressions

I have a couple of expressions that really drive me crazy….like I have to force my eyeballs from rolling whenever I hear them. “It is what it is,” is one of them. The other one has always been “Wherever you go there you are.” Because, duh, of course. However, I was having a talk with a friend the other day and it kind of all started making sense to me.

We were talking about our gypsy tendencies, our need to wander, our desire to be elsewhere. And she said “Well, you know, wherever you go, there YOU are.”

Light bulb.

Because it’s true. I can change my location a thousand million times and wherever I end up I’ll still be coming up against the same ME. I can go to Greece, New Zealand or South America (don’t get me wrong-I still plan on going all of these places at some point), but if I’m going to these far off places in hopes of leaving something behind in the jet trails of the airplane, well, that’s not going to happen.

As the Avett Brothers sing, “the weight of lies will bring you down and follow you to every town, because nothing happens here that doesn’t happen there. So when you run make sure you run to something and not away from.”

And we don’t just do this with actual physical location. We also do this whenever we think that a new job, a new relationship or a new living situation is going to be the ‘thing’ that finally makes us happy. Because we can shift our outside circumstances as much as we want but once all of that shifting starts to settle we find that we always come to rest at the place where we were before….with ourselves.

None of this is to say that if something doesn’t bring me joy, I’m not going to try my damndest to change it. In my years and life experience, I think I’ve become somewhat wise enough to be aware of what is and isn’t working for me. And it certainly doesn’t mean that I won’t continue to travel and satiate my need for that.

It’s the easiest and most difficult thing all at the same time. To start with YOU means that you don’t have to pack up suitcases or boxes in order to find a shift. YOU can do all of the work mostly from the comfort of your home. However, YOU is probably the most complicated piece of the puzzle that you’ve ever encountered. YOU have lived lots of life and have lots of ‘stuff’ to contend with. Dealing with that luggage is probably a far scarier task than figuring out how to pack for any adventure.

But it’s where we start. We start with this very crazy idea of simply sitting still so that we can go to where we want to be. We start with the one thing that will always remain with us no matter what else happens. We figure out that wherever we go, there we are…..for better or for worse, til death do us part. It’s the most important thing that we can be committed to—this notion of making friends with ourselves, of listening and then, more importantly, responding to what comes up.

And it’s being super, super honest with yourself about the things that you find, no matter how frightening they might be…..”because lies don’t need an airplane to chase you down.” And the view from any far off destination, or new setting in life is probably a lot better once you’ve dealt with the YOU that followed you there.