Judge Does Not Buy Lindsay Lohan’s “Lost Passport” Excuse

Freewheeling Deep Throat pantomimist Lindsay Lohan did not appear at her DUI progress hearing in Los Angeles because she reportedly lost her passport in Cannes. (A good-faith search of area luxury yachts did not produce the passport in question.) “If she wanted to be here, she could have been here,” the judge said, and promptly issued a bench warrant for Lohan’s arrest and set bail at $100,000, reports the New York Post.

According to E! Online, the “exact reason for Lohan's possible violation is failure to adhere to the judge's orders to attend one alcohol education course per week, which is quite different than knocking off four a month, as the judge suspects Lindsay has been doing.” Her lawyer, who said he “wasn’t aware of the fact she was partying on a yacht,” predicted Lohan’s stateside return to occur this Friday.