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Home of the History of COTM thread and subforum dedicated to preserving the history of the Columns Forum, from competition results to yearly awards to column archives.enMon, 21 Jan 2019 21:54:25 GMTvBulletin60http://lordsofpain.tv/images/bTech/misc/rss.pngLOP Forums - CF Historyhttp://lordsofpain.tv/
December 2018 Columnist of the Monthhttp://lordsofpain.tv/showthread.php?708-December-2018-Columnist-of-the-Month&goto=newpost
Tue, 01 Jan 2019 14:16:41 GMTHappy New Year! Pleasure to be posting this to you all in 2019. But before we crack on with the new year, there are a few bits of business from 2018...Happy New Year! Pleasure to be posting this to you all in 2019. But before we crack on with the new year, there are a few bits of business from 2018 t complete and one of those is the last columnist of the month contest, recognising the work that was done in December. It was a fairly busy month in the first few weeks before, perhaps inevitably, getting a bit quieter around the week of Christmas. Still, hardly a surprise, and I think we've built back up well in the last couple of months to head into the increased interest that usually comes between the Rumble and Wrestlemania.

So with all that said there's a good few names and a difficult decision ahead of you for this month's award. But before we get to the list, here is a reminder of the rules.

RULES

The winner of the Columnist of the Month contest will receive the prize of having one column posted on the main page of LordsOfPain.net

1) The winner of Columnist of the Month is determined by which of the eligible columnists receives the largest amount of votes within the allotted voting period.

2). No voting for yourself.

3). You must vote for Columnist of the Month to be eligible to win. Should the person with the most votes not place a vote during the allotted timeframe, said person will be disqualified and the first runner up in terms of number of votes gained will be named the winner. One need not place a vote to be awarded single Column of the Month.

4). A columnist must have posted at least one column during the allotted time period in order to be eligible. Duh.

5). When voting, please name both the columnist and, if applicable, the title of their ongoing series in a bold and easily determined fashion. Makes it easier on us old mod folk to more clearly discern the votes, what with our cataracts and such.

6). Main page writers are ineligible to win either the Columnist or Column awards. The exception to this is if they were not called up until the next month. For instance, a writer who wrote stuff in April and was called up on May 3rd would still be eligible to win the April Columnist contest. The prize would just be a bit pointless, I guess. The reason that main page writers are ineligible to win the single Column award is simply because they could, and often do, post said column simultaneously on the main page. This is a CF award, so only CF writers are considered.

7). Please refrain from editing your vote once it is placed, so as to not fuck up the tally. Some circumstances, such as a noob vote for a main pager, are the only loopholes to this one and will be pointed out and handled by a moderator.

8). If a candidate is caught campaigning for CotM, either publicly or privately via PM or social media, they will be disqualified and quite possibly banned. Do your selling through your writing. Begging is lame.

9). Columns about columns (such as the State of the CF or End of Year CF Awards) are not eligible for COTM consideration and will not be counted in favor of their respective authors in the final tally for the month.

10). As it pertains to collaborations, there are a few variations that require clarification.

a) If it's a "tag team" style "traditional" collaboration (i.e.: ETA or The Power Trip or The Mega Column) then both members of the team must vote in order to claim victory as a team.

b) If a single columnist gathers a group of individuals for a "roundtable" collab, only the organizer of said series must vote in order to claim victory. For instance, if Jimmy McColumnGuyDuderson wants to break down the greatest jobbers of all time and asks two of his pals to help out, only Jimmy needs to vote in order to win the award should he garner enough votes since he is the blatant driving force, as opposed to the give and take equality of a "tag team" collab.

For the voters, if you wish to specifically vote for a "traditional" collab team, name both writers. If you wish to honor a "roundtable" collab, just name the organizer of said collab.

11) You cannot vote for a former main page writer until said writer is at least 4 months removed from their main page stint at the time of the voting period. For instance, if Writer McGee just left his main page spot in January and resumed writing in the CF, he is not eligible to win CotM until the May contest. This rule is included simply because it's kind of stupid to award a main page column to a writer who just gave up a gig in which the point was to post columns on the main page. If they wanted to be on the main page then they probably would've, you know, stayed on the main page. We get that the CF has a certain allure, what with the sense of community and ability to win awards from one's peers and all that, but let us not forget the reason why the CF exists in the first place. It's not to placate egos by handing out peer determined awards, it's to find writers for the Lords of Pain main page. If you've had that spot and chose to leave it, perhaps it's time that someone else got the opportunity to prove why they deserve a shot. This rule is only applicable to the COLUMNIST vote, not the single COLUMN vote.

12). In the event of a tie, regardless the number of people involved, the deadlock be broken by means of a re-vote with the tied parties as the only available candidates. Said re-vote will be three days long. If we still have a tie after that, fuck it, we've got two winners.

Don't forget to cast a vote for the Column of the Month gimmick as well. Just name which single column you felt was the best of the month. The actual Column of the Month. Just one. NOT AN ENTIRE SERIES. This will help make the process of voting for Column of the Year when it comes time for the Year End Awards that much easier, as well as give some well deserved props to someone who straight up knocked one out of the park in a given month.

Here's the list of columnists and their eligible work - apologies if I've missed anything off.

(PS also go and vote for the Yearly Awards, the thread for which is stuck to the top of the forum)
]]>CF HistoryPrime Timehttp://lordsofpain.tv/showthread.php?708-December-2018-Columnist-of-the-MonthThe 2018 pre-reset column listhttp://lordsofpain.tv/showthread.php?692-The-2018-pre-reset-column-list&goto=newpost
Mon, 24 Dec 2018 15:27:58 GMTWhat's up everyone, a few weeks ago I asked about posting the list of columns from the pre-reset part of 2018. I was informed that I should, so here is this thread to act as a reference because the list is actually a lot bigger than you'd think, though given it was WrestleMania season, not to much of a surprise. Simple layout, all columns are counted, multiple columns in a single thread are denoted by a X# and group collabs have been split amongst their all participants, however the main writer will be in bold to show the … would owner be the right word?

Anyway here is the complete list of columns from January through April

Note: This list only covers Columns Forum Writers, any main page writers who posted here, whether for a tournament or whatever reason, details were not saved.

205Clive
DOA (Absolution/Usos)
Cruiserweight Let Loose 1
Cruiserweights Let Loose 2
Purple Review (13/03/2018)
Cruiserweights Let Loose 3
Rollins and Jordan: When Opposites Attract and Worlds Collide
The Raw Gauntlet: A Story Masterpiece
Resurrection of 205 Live
Great Care should be taken for Future Callups
Royal Rumble: The Roman Reigns Show

Benjamin Button
Stories of Love for Wrestling Overcoming the Odds
Ladies and Gentlemen: The Time has Expired
Roman Reigns vs Jarrius JJ Robertson (Superstar Satire Dream match)
The Dreams of our fathers
7 Prayers for Lucha Underground
Button Up: Eye Survived, But will Outrage Prevail?
To Collaborate with one selfHow the Ten Commandments were Broken in wrestling
Button up: A Curious Case to turn Roman post-mania
The Old Wrestler, Young Wrestler Dialogue
WrestleMania in an Alternate WWE Universe: Benjamin Button's Fame
When They Die...
Beyond the Puma Mask: THe Road for Ricochet/The Road for Lucha Underground

Burn1nMyLight
Burn it Down: Former Future
The Royal Rumble Game
The Womens Rumble Game

TheCanadianCrippler
The Tragic Kingdom 2: Remember the Name
Shaking up this Daft Draft
The Tragic Kingdom 2.5: Future Shock
The Tragic Kingdom: The Forgotten Times (Part 1)
The Tragic Kingdom 1.5: The Revised and Forgotten times

Cult Icon
DOA (Authors/BenjaGable)

DannoKaboom
CSI: Rating the 1992 Royal Rumble using the Shithouse scale
CSI: Funch

DynamiteBillington
WrestleMania Random Thoughts and Predictions
WrestleMania Random Thoughts and Reactions
Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don't
The Part Time problem
The Part Time Solution
Audience Moments
The Legend Returns

Eldandy
The Great, The Belt and The Legacy - or - For a Few Dollars More
Roadtrips, High School Dances and Wet Dreams: A Stream of Consciousness Column about John Cena
CSI: 101 WWE Matches to see if you feel like it #18
CSI: I am a fool, aloof am I
H-A-DOUBLE-L-O-DOUBLE-F-A-M-E

The Flying Scotsman
The WWE Blueprint: How to Fix a Broken System

HeelPastor
Why We Deserve the WM Main event that we got
The Greatest Royal Rumble, Womens Wrestling and a No Win Situation
The Confessional with HeelPastor

Mavsman
CSI: Nothing But Net - The Tapestry of Time
CSI: Don’t try this at home
CSI: A Thorough Examination of Wrestler Names as seen through the Lens of Wrestler Names from The Wrestler (named 2008 #4 Film by Richard Roeper)
CSI: Nothing but Net - Bil·dungs·ro·man

Pennycook Mills
Full Production Feedback: The Match that isn’t a match
Full Production Feedback: A Selection of WrestleMania Wins
Full Production Feedback: The Brock Lesnar Tension
Full Production Feedback: The Aging Kurt Angle
Full Production Feedback: Ronda Rousey, The Unknown Factor
Full Production Feedback: Lay of the Land
Full Production Feedback: Tale of Two Titles
Full Production Feedback: The Battle Royals

Spinmaster
CSI: DJ Goes to the Rumble: A wish fulfilling Journey Through a Magical World
Total Non-Stop Wrestling Project: What have we done (With Mizfan)
Spinning out of Control: A Closed Door of Destiny

TypeItInMaan
Overhauling the WrestleMania Card
What would make you LIKE Roman Reigns?
The Hall of Fame needs Hall Monitors
Wrestling with Forgiveness
NXT - A Promotion by Demotion
Ranking Superstar Shake-ups 1-25
WWE is like a cheating girlfriend and Braun Strowman deserves better
DOA (Bludgeon Brothers/The Bar)
The Night Wrestling Died
Why Super Cena losing power is part of the plan
What if the Early 90s had monthly PPVs? (Part 2)
Ranking The First Time Ever title scenarios for WrestleMania
What match should Close Mania (The Case For/Against 5, including a Dark Horse)
Go Home Cena, You’re Drunk
Type vs Cena Rap Battle
Type’s Hot Takes: No More Flapjacks, Thoughts on Rousey/Heyman, Cena, Mixed Match Challenge and MORE
Cena's 17th reign, A Shot in the Arm or Shot Through the Arm
What if the Early 90s had monthly PPVs? (Part 1)
Top 5 most and least favourite WWE decisions of 2017
Making the Case for 4 Rumble Longshots
Type's Take: Spitfire Thoughts
#MeToo
How To make XFL Successful

UKMDK
Living in the Real World: Ratings are no Issue
Life In Kayfabe: Turning Heel

Uncle Joe
The LOP Championship 78-81
The LOP Heavyweight Champion

VonWrestler
The Developmental League
Slam Bang Theater
Frogman Leblanc
Dream Booking for SmackDown around September 2018
Five Moves of Doom
I Love Ice Cream
Old School Saturday Night
From Iron Claw to Curb Stomp

Okay, that is everyone that I have got saved. I think there are some missing from the early bits of CSI, but other than that I think I got everything. If I've missed anything do feel free to let me know and I'll update it.
]]>CF Historykingzak13http://lordsofpain.tv/showthread.php?692-The-2018-pre-reset-column-listRetro Columns Threadhttp://lordsofpain.tv/showthread.php?690-Retro-Columns-Thread&goto=newpost
Sun, 23 Dec 2018 18:58:31 GMTBefore the last reset I recall we had a thread for writers to post older retro columns in! Considering my Shakespeare adaptation from the 2018 CSI...Before the last reset I recall we had a thread for writers to post older retro columns in! Considering my Shakespeare adaptation from the 2018 CSI tourney back at the start of the year got mentioned by SirSam in his EOY thread, I thought I'd resurrect the aforementioned thread and re-post the column in question!

The round stipulation was to adapt Act III Scene I of Romeo and Juliet using wrestling as inspiration (at least that's close enough to the stip anyway!). So here is my version, which used the Rollins/Ambrose relationship as inspiration.

----

Act III

Scene I. A public place.

[Enter Bray Wyatt.]

BRAY: All the foulest pieces of Seth’s
Soul doth lend me form; thus all he’s
Left is sadness and regrets.
All our natures are unchanging,
E’en for men as driven as you,
Architect. Your fetid lust lets
Glory fuel your finest acts of
Treachery. Such acts still doth form
Thy tainted heraldry - a pit
Of vice that runs deeper than you
Might yet realise; from which I hath
Emerged – being fear made flesh.
You dare believe I no longer
Exist, having slain the King of
Kings and, with peace, made your treatise?
How temerity can make us
Fools. You fail to realise that
I am e’rywhere, Seth, and that
I am all things; for all men fear.
Slave to me, is what you still are,
Your fate is mine to tear apart.
Ever closer draws the hour for
Me to claim your broken soul, and
Watch you burn in fires of sins your
Own. Thus your name and visage will,
Yet again, become mine once more.
Soft! ‘Ere comes the Chairman Vince, whose
Vile cause should be obtained, should it
Better serve my own cruel purpose.

[Enter Vince McMahon.]

BRAY: Lord of family named Corp’rate,
What lends cause for looks so irate?

VINCE: Shut up, demon! ‘Tis not fear that ails me; you’ve nothing to feast on here. I am angry. My own flesh and blood doth disappoint, and now cowers in fear of what this man, so named Kingslayer, might yet achieve in the fever of his will. Now that he stands free of my son-in-law’s plots, truly hath he become a thorn by other name that pricks as sharply. The failure of my foolish children will sit as a black mark upon my name, for I had thought to raise fighters, not failures! Now this wretched son of a bitch, whose name Seth Rollins my kin dare not utter, chases for love the golden crown I have forged with the hammer of my own triumphs. Never again might he be bent to our own ends and I see no means by which to bring him to his ends.

BRAY [aside]: Glorious luck, that his anger
Be a source of ran’crous chance for
me! It can be but a quirk of
Well-meant fate that sees me meet this
Lord of Family Corp’rate!

VINCE: What do you say of my predicament, you miserly worm?! Speak quickly, or be gone!

RENEE: My fair Dean Ambrose, let us away and return home. Those that seek to beat you are all around, and tensions in every quarter abound. The night draws close. If we were to be confronted by any who count themselves among the Family Corp’rate, I fear what might become of us.

DEAN: I care not.

RENEE: But in caring not you give cause for my caring to flower all the more!

DEAN: Then perhaps I should pluck your flower so as to put your fear to bed.

RENEE: Would that the energy you wish to spend in plucking flowers be better spent in plucking up courage to do right by my wish, and retire to our chambers so as to avoid a brawl.

DEAN: Fear not, for I am not a brawling type.

RENEE: Fie! Not a brawling type, indeed!

DEAN: You think me so?

RENEE: Am I mistaken in my memory of your sullying a gentleman’s jacket, worth no less than fifteen thousand ducats might I add, so as to revenge the loss of a plant worth five?

DEAN: That much is true.

RENEE: And did this not result in a brawl or two, or maybe more?

DEAN: I remember not.

RENEE: You remember well, I think!

DEAN: ‘Tis not my fault if the gentleman, who so, with malcontent, slew my darling Mitch, did fail to see the balance of my revenge.

RENEE: Fifteen thousand to five? What balance could there ever be in so clearly an unbalanced exchange?

DEAN: Wealth is measured not by ducat but by desire; desire being love by other name. The value of all things is to be found truest there. Thusly, when one man injures what another man desires, so does he injure what that man loves. A return price of equal measure should be found only in reflective injury, lest there be cause for mercy. I saw none then; indeed, as I would see none now were a man to injure you.

RENEE: Flatterer, it is lust you speak of, not love! Love; you that would pluck my flower! Fie!

DEAN: Pluck your flower, nay; pluck up the courage to speak plainly to the object of both my lust and love? Yay! Though me-thinks I spy a glint in your eye, that would it were as you accuse it of being.

RENEE: Your logic is as twisted as my words are become! ‘Tis what gives cause to others to name you lunatic.

DEAN: ‘Tis the absence of such logic that gives me cause to call all others true strangers to sanity, and I its only and lonely friend.

RENEE: How now, lonely, when you keep me so close in your company?

[Re-enter Bray Wyatt.]

RENEE: Alas, here comes what I did fear; the heraldry of Team Corp’rate!

DEAN: Nay. This creature is known to me. No matter his colours, he is no more a Corp’rate as he is a Hound; so let him as ever yap as small dogs do.

BRAY: Stay your hands in such nervous heat!
Where is Seth? I wish us to speak.

DEAN: My nerves are steel; I know my demons and accept them, as does my brother Seth. You have no business with him despite your vile form. Now be gone, before you give me cause to brawl!

BRAY: Quick to draw your sword when Seth’s name
Walks abroad I see! Do tell, pray,
What would our dearest Renee say?

DEAN: Your fool’s games fall on deaf ears; would that your irksome rhymes do the same. A headache do they lend me, and generously so I might add. It is a simple thing, to let a man alone to his business; yet here you come to mar my evening as sure as the moon arrives to light it, barking like some rabid, untaméd dog! Be gone, I said, or brawl we will!

RENEE: Dean, he wears the colours of Team Corp’rate! Care thee not, I know, and be not among their number I do comprehend, but injure him in so public a place as this and be branded criminal for your act! Let us retire, as I did beseech before. Play not their game, for you are not your brother’s keeper, despite all you have both been through together and apart.

[Enter Seth Rollins.]

BRAY: Preach no more! Here walks my man!

DEAN: Your man? Fie! Long gone are the years he wore your face and walked in line with liars and cheats. To this day he remains my brother, in spite of the sleights he wrought upon me in the thralls of thy maleficent will. Know, demon, that for as long as this body doth draw breath then ne’er again will he be yours!

SETH: Not coward. But my hands are stayed this day.
That uniform you wear does drag me to
My memories of days my better self
Was lost. The fight I won against the King
Of Kings did end the nightmare of those days
And now I am a liberated soul.
My peace precludes a foolish war with thee,
That would risk all good things I won in spite
Of thee. Foul self leave, and let us all be.

DEAN: You refuse the fight? Do I dream Seth, or do you now refrain from taking up your sword to slay this tormenting wraith? Why, what cowering submission this is! You are vulnerable still to the temptations of your vice! So be it. To stand in your place in such a void of strength is what a brother is fashioned for. Thus presently, in truth, I am my brother’s keeper, and only in haste would ever choose to be so. My love for thee can bear this brawl, and will thusly in thy stead. Bray! Stand to, and fight! My place is between you both, for Seth’s war is my own.

SETH: Oh good and loving brother, please do not
Again succumb to your emotion, but
Think this through and, as is needed, ignore
Their taunting action. Don’t risk all in my
Undeservéd name, but hold steady your
Soul and deny our enemy their goal!

BRAY: With laughter at Seth’s weak willed husk
Of body do I respond!
Sweet sits the taste of my breaking
These two brothers’ once strong bond!

DEAN: Bring me a miracle and still your lubricious words, snake!

[They fight.]

SETH: Enough of this madness! I am not slave
To the will of Wyatt! I need no strength
Lent by brother! My love for the golden
Crown Vince hath forged is taméd now! I can
Not have my brother’s end upon my soul!

[Bray under Seth’s arm thrusts Dean in with unseen dagger, and flees.]

DEAN: Such a prick has never been known; a curse on both of your selves, Seth.

RENEE: Dean, you are wounded!

DEAN: Aye, ‘tis true; but wounded only that you were proven the righter of our contest. I am a brawling type, it seems.

RENEE: Never has it felt so sore to be so right.

DEAN: You’ve felt sorer, of this I’m sure.

RENEE: How impishly you play with words, even now!

SETH: Then the wound must not be quite so grievous.

DEAN: There can be no wound so grievous as to compare to the sting of your once trait’rous chair. Though I confess that this one aches fierce in my heart, which now splits deeper than even thy own soul. I was hurt under your arm. Why must you have come between us? I had your fight in hand.

SETH: I could not bear the prospect of your death,
Nor notion of some gross injustice wrought
Upon you greater than e’en my frightful sins.

DEAN: The world grows quiet and in the first makes sense about me. My life was lifted to heavens for knowing you, and rose above its most cursed solitude for my loving you. My life was dragged through levels of hell for having known ugliest betrayal as forged by you, and now ends for having been saved by you. Oh, cruel irony! My brother, my brother, wherefore art thou Seth Rollins, my brother? A curse on both your selves!

[He dies.]

RENEE: His peace doth now bear him to a silent rest he could have never known in this mad world. Fare ye well, my love. You were too good a man to be long for our world.

SETH: Ambrose falls victim of my hubris and,
Once more, of my passing keen ambitions.
Am I fated to be Bray’s slave for all
Of my remaining days? Alas for Bray,
Cruel japes of fate do stir my will most fierce!
Avoiding fighting my worst self has been
Avoiding losing, and becoming my
Worst self; but fight I must or face the whole
Sore pain of Dean’s sad loss. Corp’rate and Bray
Are doomed to fall, for now I set my will
To avenge our Dean and reclaim my soul!

[Re-enter Bray Wyatt.]

RENEE: The pestilent creature that would bear your name and face returns to taunt once more.

SETH: You laugh in horrid triumph as our tears
Still sting fresh. My brother lays here, the cost
Of my base will; now I turn base will on
Thee. Call me blaggard once again, or call
Me coward better still! Your grasp that has
So blinded me I shall now break, and in
So doing end all hells you’ve made withal!

RENEE: Go now Seth! He wears the Family Corp’rate colours, and here comes a crowd to call you villain and breathe life into Vince’s long endeavour.

SETH: Had I been more myself and thought this through
Still would our Dean lie still - I am no fool.

[Exit Seth Rollins.]

[Enter Vince McMahon and a crowd.]

A FAN: Where did the odious villain go that killed this innocent man named Dean?

A CORP’RATE STOOGE: And what of the man that did slay this honourable Corp’rate fellow?

RENEE: My muse Dean Ambrose here was slain not one hour hence by this Bray Wyatt.

A CORP’RATE STOOGE: Who in turn was slain by whom?

VINCE: Only one man would find bloodied success in the seeking of such revenge, who is so named the Kingslayer. His lust for the golden crown I crafted starves in the light of my own success and, in starving, it seems his hunger grows boundless in its appetite. Forthwith he is banished from my lands; let it be known under pain of death.

[Exeunt crowd.]

VINCE: Do with these bodies as you so wish, small mewling child. I have better business to attend.

RENEE: I would like to know how deep it cuts, your unflattering failure that saw Seth kill Bray and yet remain to seek to burn all things down.

VINCE: Of what failure do you speak? Seth might live but night closes as home to two fewer enemies than the day did break with! And if Seth Rollins returns then his lesson shall be learnt in like fashion to that of Dean and Bray - life is but the continued absence of positive dispositions, and then one becomes carrion for crows!