CITY OR STATE THAT I'D MOST LIKE TO SEE WIPED OFF THE MAP: "There's two: South Dakota and West Virginia. South Dakota because it is not really south; it' in the upper Midwest. They should either just call it one giant North Dakota or they should change the names to Upper Dakota and Lower Dakota. West Virginia because it' not really very far west. It should be called 'Virginia to the Left' or 'Left Virginia.'"

MOVIE I COULDN'T BELIEVE EVER GOT MADE: The Wizard of Oz. "They see all of this weird and amazing stuff on their way to see the Wizard, and yet they never manage to see any black people. Could you imagine the pitch meeting? A house falls on a bad witch, the lead character has to follow a yellow brick road, she runs across a talking Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Man, they all go by Munchkins and see flying witches and after all that, they see nobody black."

CURRENT CELEBRITY MASTURBATION FODDER: "My Top 3: Beyoncé, because she' dating a guy from Brooklyn and I'm from Brooklyn. He' a rapper, I listen to rap and she' got me going crazy right now. Halle Berry, because she says the ultimate line, 'Make me feel good.' Janet Jackson, for making every Super Bowl Halftime Show pale in comparison."

PERSONAL DREAM PROJECT: "To be in a movie where Beyoncé, Halle Berry and Janet Jackson are all chasing after me and they get me. And I'd also waive my $20 million fee to do this project because I care about my craft."