Relationships, Class Systems, Love And Blurred Lines

There’s no better way to really delve into this than with a little story because stories explain situations better (think Jesus and his parables).

Porsha (such a fancy name) was named after her Great Aunt who happens to be royalty. She still has the silver spoon she was born with stuck in her mouth and has had everything she wanted handed to her on a silver platter. She works, not because she needs to but, according to her father, to learn; according to her Great Aunt, to have something to do.

Patrick, who was named after no one in a particular and for no apparent reason, has had to struggle for everything he has. He wanted much and often got little, sometimes even nothing. His parents taught him early in life that he must work and work hard to get what he wants and not sit and expect it to come his way. He works to survive.

By luck, fate or some cosmic voodoo, Porsha and Patrick meet and fall-in-love. Everyone thought their relationship was a terrible idea. They didn’t feel the same way until the real drama begun to unfold.

Patrick hated the idea of having maids. He preferred to do things himself. But Porsha didn’t see how they could do without one, not because she couldn’t cook or clean but because her schedule was always far too packed to think of time to do just chores. She feels that when they finally start living together or get married (whichever comes first) that they should have at least one. They fought over this. Strike 1.

Porsha slowly started to realize little things about her dear Patrick that ticked her off: his lack of proper etiquette was one of them. When she brought it up and tried to advise him on how best to carry himself, he lashed out. Strike 2.

Porsha loves nice things. She isn’t an impulsive shopper but when she shops she can use up to $400 on one item for herself. This doesn’t make any sense to Patrick. What does a woman need a handbag worth $400 for anyway? He feels like there are a million other things, more productive things one can do with that kind of money. Porsha doesn’t see the big deal; the bag was on sale and was the cheapest option she went for. Strike 3.

And these were just a few of the problems they seemed to have. Strike 4, 5, 6…

I have no stats on this, but I think a great deal of issues that couples have in their relationship stem from the differences they already had in their backgrounds. The class systems they grew up and lived in end up dictating their general outlook on so many aspects of life.

So what do Patrick and Porsha do? Do they find a way to look past their differences and compromise their upbringings? Or do they resort to just ending their relationship and move on to find more suitable, more “fitted” life partners that understand their backgrounds, principles and values?

We all know the Patricks and Porshas of this world. We all know how most of them have resolved to simply parting ways. For the rest of us who believe in love and lasting relationships and happy endings, this isn’t what we want to hear. We want to read about their enduring love and how they found “a way” to live with each other’s differences and muscle through it all and prove those friends and family, who told them that their relationship wouldn’t work out, wrong. But it isn’t that easy, is it? $400 will always mean the world to Patrick and absolutely nothing to Porsha.

I’m no love doctor…but I say be with whomever you love, whoever your heart yearns for. However, as you love, realize that you will need much more to hold the bonds of your relationship together. You’ll need; compromise, respect, loyalty and loads more.

Last Friday, one of my girls, Stella, called me asking for directions to my favourite lingerie store in Kampala. After directing her, I asked her what the occasion was and she told me she was only sleeping […]