As part of my interview series on the five things you need to know to become a great author, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jill Sherer Murray.

Jill is a TEDx speaker and influencer, author of the new book called Big Wild Love: The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go, writer, coach, and founder of Let Go For It®, a lifestyle brand dedicated to helping people let go for a better life.

She is also an award-winning journalist and communications leader who can trace practically every success she’s had in her career, love life, and more to letting go. She’s put her weight in Shape Magazine twelve times, as part of a year-long assignment to document her weight loss journey. And bared her personal struggles in a popular blog called “Diary of a Writer in Mid-Life Crisis” for the popular online magazine Wild River Review. Her TEDx talk, “The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go”, has been viewed by almost two million people — and grows by the thousands each day.

Thank you so much for joining us! Can you share a story about what brought you to this particular career path?

I’ve always been a writer. From the time I was a young girl, I loved writing stories, keeping diaries, and reading whatever I could get my hands on. Which was good, because I’m horrible at math and despite loving art, have zero skills there. In fact, I once had an art teacher in college tell me I was somewhere between Michelangelo and a five-year-old.

I was also a pretty good piano player, taking after my grandmother — who not only wrote beautiful plays and short stories that were never published despite her trying, but also played professional piano and never had a lesson in her life. In fact, for about five hot minutes in high school, I thought I’d become a professional pianist…but then I realized I’d need to practice for at least eight hours a day. And that was the end of that.

Looking back, I’m glad I took the road I did, because writing has always been and remains my greatest passion…along with public speaking and just being overall helpful in general. In fact, the need to be helpful is something that’s really grown as I’ve gotten older and more confident in what I know to be true in life. That’s one reason why I pulled all of these passions together to give a TEDx talk — to help people understand the power of letting go. I start that talk with a story of how I ended a long-term relationship with someone who was wonderful, but didn’t want to get married, which was something I very much wanted to experience. That talk wound up resonating with a lot of folks, as evidenced by how many people have watched it and have reached out to me for advice on how to let go in their own situations.

My inspiration for that talk was the loss of someone close to me — someone I deeply loved and never imagined would die as young as he did. It hit me hard. Showed me in no uncertain terms, that life is really short and, at the same time, too long to waste our time on anything other than what we want most.

While I knew that talk was important, I remain absolutely blown away by the fact that millions of people from all over the globe have watched it. On the one hand, I’m really happy it’s making such a big impact as I hear from women all over the world several times a week after they see it. Turns out, it doesn’t matter where you live. We’re all struggling with the same stuff in love.

It also saddens me on some level, to know how much we are devaluing ourselves in relationship … and how much we’re settling. I say this with absolutely no judgement. I spent the first half of my adult life doing just that, believing I didn’t deserve what I really wanted and that it wasn’t available to me. And that I should take whatever and whomever I could get.

It’s one of the most important reasons why I wanted to write this book, Big Wild Love. To respond to all the women who reach out to me for advice on how I did it — how I let go, dealt with the risk and loss, and moved forward to find the love I always wanted. My answers to their questions are in the book in full technicolor. I don’t hold back. Through my story, other women’s stories, surprising statistics, and helpful exercises, I give them the entire six-step process I developed and used to let go successfully. It’s a process that, frankly, can be applied to any area of their life where they may find themselves stuck.

Can you share the most interesting story that occurred to you in the course of your career?

Well, I don’t know if it’s THE most interesting story since a lot has happened to me over the course of my career, but I think it’s one of them. It’s definitely reinforced for me the idea that we must always be ready to embrace the moment, think on our feet, and believe in ourselves. Here’s what happened:

I had become a bona fide TED junkie. I would spend hours watching one talk after the next, just riveted to what these speakers had to say. I was continuously amazed at how easily accessible all this genius had become. Then, when I lost my friend, I found myself on a mission to give a TEDx talk of my own … to tell the world: Let. It. Go. People, we don’t have forever! And, so began the journey to get on that stage. I knew that, in doing my research, it wouldn’t be so easy. That TED organizers were very selective and rightly so.

The power of intention helped me a lot, although I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing at the time — putting what I wanted out there and acting accordingly. I just spent a lot of time dreaming about giving that talk, especially in the car on my then two-hour-a-day commute to my job. Instead of listening to an audiobook or the Coffee House, I’d put on my “theme” song — “I Really Want It” by A Great Big World, because that song just fired me up in a really happy way. And I’d imagine myself on the red carpet. Every. Single. Day.

It felt so good! To imagine my friends and family in the audience, cheering me on. And, most importantly, to be able to help other people who may be where I was to get unstuck. Because I’d often wondered whether I would have let go of my own dead-end relationship sooner, if I could have simply pulled a phone (we didn’t have smartphones back then) out of my pocket and watched another woman do what I was absolutely terrified to do…and could see that it all turned out alright. I’d like to think I would have.

Anyway, after doing this in my car for a while, I noticed an advertisement in my junk folder for a speaking workshop in New York City. It stopped me. That little voice inside was pushing — just say yes, Jill. And I listen to that little voice big time … after making sure it’s coming from me, and not some pressure-inducing, critical outside voice … like convention or an old, judgey friend or family member or ex-boyfriend telling me what to do or that I’m not good enough, etc. I’ve gotten very good at discerning those voices.

On the day of that workshop, I met the woman who would ultimately become my speaker coach. She was and is fabulous — we had an instant connection. Together, we worked on my big idea and the talk, and just as I finished writing it, she sent me a link to an application for a TEDx event happening in my area.

They were looking for speakers. That was the good news.

The bad news was I only had 24 hours to fill out the application before the deadline. And we weren’t talking about an application for a credit card. We were talking about a very intense experience … the organizers wanted a video with my big idea laid out with clarity, passion, and supporting evidence, along with answers to some deeply personal and thought-provoking questions…like “Why is this the talk of your life?” and “Why should we choose you over so many other people?” and “What is the meaning of life?” (kidding on that last one). Sufficed to say, there were approximately 10 or so essay questions that required me to go pretty deep.

This was a project.

Unfortunately, my husband and I were headed into New York City for the day to meet with friends and I couldn’t cancel for a variety of reasons, so my first inclination was to say, “No way, I’ll never make this happen…” In looking back, I can see that was just fear getting in the way. My inner critic trying to remind me that I wasn’t enough. But by the time we’d driven into the city, which was two hours from our house, I’d slayed those dragons and was more determined than ever to make it happen.

After a fun evening out with friends, we got back to the hotel at about 2 a.m. My husband went to sleep and I went to work. I put on a fresh face of makeup, wrote a script, and filmed a video, using the hotel bible as a tripod for my clunky Surface Pro, so you could see clear up my nostrils the whole time. I bared myself in one answer after the next. I gave that application my all. Then, at about 10 a.m., I hit submit, and passed out.

Three weeks later, I got the invitation to speak in my email. I screamed so loud, you would have thought I’d accidentally tripped my way into the lit fireplace. It was awesome! 😊

What was the biggest challenge you faced in your journey to becoming an author?

Oh gosh, let’s see: Time. Energy. Money. How do you work a full-time day job and write in the margins? That requires all three. I remember watching an episode of Girls on HBO when Lena Dunham’s character, who idealized herself as a writer’s writer, out to right the wrongs of society and heal the world with words, had to finally take a day job writing advertising copy or risk going broke. Struggling with the idea that she was a “sellout”, she vowed she’d never give up writing about her causes in the off hours. Then, after her very first day in the eight-hour corporate job, she went home and promptly fell asleep.

I felt wildly vindicated by this episode.

Then, of course, there’s the rejection. And I’m not just talking about external rejection — from agents, publishers, critics, and readers — but the internal rejection we impose on ourselves as well. I don’t know about you, but my internal critic can be very loud, very mean, and very determined!

And yet, I would say the biggest challenge for me, especially when writing this book Big Wild Love was learning to not only overcome this negative internal dialogue (which I have!), but some of my formal education because I was trained as a journalist. We’re not supposed to have opinions or be vulnerable. To the contrary, we’re supposed to be invisible, letting the facts and experts tell the story.

And yet, in my own book, I had to not only be visible, but willing to share my opinions and how I came to them, and be vulnerable as well.

How did you overcome it?

It was very weird at first. Like wearing heels, when you’re used to flats. I had to find my balance, and constantly remind myself I wasn’t reporting on somebody else’s story, but rather, sharing my own. Once I fully wrapped my brain around this, I loved it. It was so freeing.

It was also an amazing opportunity to continue becoming my own best student…and let go. Of not only some OF my training, but of being guarded as a writer. Because that would have distanced me from my audience, and that would have been such a shame because I so got them. I WAS them. I’d been in their shoes and knew firsthand what it felt like to be stuck in love, unsure, afraid, unhappy, and confused about what to do, how to let go, terrified I’d wind up alone. Back then, I had no idea that being alone could be such a wonderfully fruitful and enjoyable experience.

I had to be extremely vulnerable because I wanted my readers to trust me. After all, I was talking about LOVE. Not how to change a tire or balance your checkbook. I spent a lot of time journaling to loosen up and allow myself to go there…to write with honesty and depth and emotion. I lay bare a lot of hard and personal truths in Big Wild Love. But if I’m to serve readers and make the impact I want, I knew I had to go there.

Giving the TEDx talk helped to prepare me. Because, as Brene Brown says, when you get “in the arena”, people will judge you. I have learned that firsthand, with so many people commenting on my TEDx talk on YouTube. Most of the comments have been lovely, but some? Oh boy!

Fortunately, I had long learned to let go of taking things personally, but navigating those comments really drove the point home. Whether they loved me or hated me, I knew it was a referendum on them and not me — and that only I get to define my worth. As a result, I don’t let any of it inform the truth of how I see myself. Or stop me from writing from a place of deep honesty, authenticity, and vulnerability.

Besides, the work was never about me anyway. It was always about how I could be in service to others.

Can you share a story about that that other aspiring writers can learn from?

Sure! You know, when you agree to be a writer, if you want to create anything meaningful for your readers, you have to be willing to tell the truth. Period. In doing so, you’re letting people know they’re not alone. That you get them. And that you are the right person to be helping them find a better way, idea, or whatever that thing is they need most in the moment. You’re making it easier for them to connect with you and take in whatever it is you’re trying to teach them. The irony of doing this is that, while it may be hard at first, it often leads to your own deeper personal insights and even healing.

Case in point: When I was 39, I accepted an assignment to write a year-long column for Shape Magazine, chronicling my weight loss journey. Each month, I’d write essays about what it took to slim down. Those essays had me interview experts, as well as recount my own experiences, fears, limitations, and mental blocks. There were pictures, of course, which I didn’t always love because, honestly, I hate having my picture taken. Still, the magazine’s stylists needed to use photos to tell a part of the story. So, the earlier photos didn’t have me looking so good, while the later ones showcased me looking great. It was all about the transformation and I got that, but it didn’t always make me feel so comfortable.

That assignment also required me to put my weight, body fat, and VO2 max scores (which measure the amount of oxygen you use while exercising) front and center. How many people would put these things in a national magazine? Talk about letting go…

This was especially complex for me since I have had lifelong body image issues and a troubled relationship with food. I fully admit this and even embrace it — and the fact that I’ve worked hard to let a lot of that go…it’s a work in progress for sure. And yet, back then, putting my weight as fodder for millions of readers — 12 times — and writing about things like secretly binge-eating in my car or how I feel about the pressure my mother puts on me to be thin, were not topics I wanted to discuss in the mainstream.

But I made a deal with myself when I accepted that assignment that I would put it out there — try to help other women who were struggling with food and body issues find a better way too. Even when it was hard. Even if it raised some very painful personal feelings, and forced me to deal with them.

Which is precisely what happened. Not only did my columns resonate (readers would write to me every month to say they connected to my story, even a childhood friend I had no idea was reading told me years later that my columns helped her get through a very difficult time), but they woke even me up to seeing myself and my body differently.

The point being this: Even if people don’t comment or write to you or let them know you’re making a difference, trust me, you are. They’re watching and reading and listening, even in the shadows, so don’t hold back. Your audience will thank you for it. And you might even thank yourself.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

I don’t know if this is the funniest mistake I made when I was first starting out as a writer, but it was certainly funny for others! One of my first jobs was writing for Advertising Age Magazine. One of my first assignments was writing a short two-inch story (back then we measured length by column inch) about a specific company’s financial situation (I don’t remember the company’s name). Since I’d just finished graduate school and was super new — to the magazine and work in general — I was determined to overachieve. I interviewed at least 20 people for that tiny little story, and took so many handwritten notes, I used up an entire legal pad!

I’d naively leave this pad on my little desk every night when I went home at the end of the day. I had no idea that’s when some of the other writers and editors would browse through my it, and laugh at how over-researched my itty-bitty stories were.

Finally, a friend told me…after I’d published that first story and it was received well. Still, I was mortified. I was trying so hard to fit in and give at least the appearance of knowing what I was doing! She also told me to lighten up … it was all in good fun.

Now I can laugh about it, but back then, I was so embarrassed. It was so obvious how green I was! Although I still take lengthy and copious … my philosophy is you can never have too much information. But, hey, that works for me. I’m just cozier in my ways and care less about what other people think. That’s the beauty of no longer being a newbie!

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now?

Every single solitary thing I’m working on right now is interesting and exciting and super challenging, since I’m essentially starting over. I believe in the work I’m doing so passionately — spreading the gospel of letting go — that I left my corporate day job of more than ten years to pursue it full time. And let me tell you, a lot has changed since my last stint as an entrepreneur, working as a freelance writer which I’ve done intermittently throughout my career! At 57, I feel as if I’m starting from scratch.

I’m now learning to be a digital marketer. A course creator. An author. A promoter. A speaker. A coach. A consultant. It’s mind-numbing how much there is to learn and how many options there are for building a fulfilling work life. I’m all over it. I just love this stuff … even though it can be confusing, and exhausting, and frustrating. These things that are part of every journey worth taking.

Certainly, one of the things I’m most excited about is my book. For so many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that people need it. And I don’t say that lightly or from a place of ego, but based on all the feedback I’ve received over the past few years. Women continue to reach out to me from all over the globe with stories about their letting go struggles, and questions about how I did it and how they can use what worked for me in their own lives. I try to write back to each and every one of them, but the answers are bigger and longer than what I can reasonably fit in an email or direct message on social media. I can’t wait to be able to say, “Read my book! It’s all there for you!” And trust me when I tell you, it really, really is.

I’m also chomping at the bit to launch my new digital course on the subject of letting go for love; building it has been an amazing experience in and of itself. There is so much to learn about creating content online — this is going to feel like a real accomplishment because I am NOT your technology girl. Hoping to push that out just after Valentine’s Day when we’ve all got love on the brain!

Can you share the most interesting story that you shared in your book?

There are so many interesting stories in my book — of my journey in letting go for love, other women’s journeys, and so on. I tell a lot of juicy dating and love stories that will have at least your female readers shaking their heads in agreement (and perhaps horror) … a LOT.

Still, there’s one story, in particular, that I feel especially connected to. It’s one that I’d love to tell on the Moth stage one day … if I ever get the chance. It’s a story that dear friends who’ve heard me tell it actually begged me to include in the book, saying that it’s not only funny, but sad, touching, and inspiring all at the same time.

The story is about how, as a teenager, I snuck down into the kitchen while my parents and brother were asleep, on a night when I was feeling particularly brazen, to eat carrot cake. But not just any carrot cake. This was my Aunt’s beloved carrot cake — it was a treat she’d bring to many of our holiday dinners…a fan favorite.

My mother would offer that cake to everyone around the table except me, in an attempt to keep me from being overweight.

In the book, I recount how, after one dinner, while my mom was putting away the leftovers, she gave that carrot cake special treatment, swaddling the remaining piece in tinfoil, evenly halving it so it would be easy to see if “anybody” secretly had a piece, and putting it in the freezer so it would become hard and difficult to slice.

This was my challenge at hand, on that brazen night, at 3 a.m.: To get at that cake without waking anybody up, or her noticing I had cut into it.

Did I figure it out? You’ll have to read the book since I don’t want to give it away. But what I can say is that the answer will make you laugh and perhaps even cry. I present the complicated navigation of that cake as a metaphor for a deeper message. One that speaks to how we sometimes have to make sense of our reality and gain new perspective: In the middle of the night, while everyone else is sleeping, as an act of hunger and desperation.

In the end, it’s a story of resilience and reclamation that has me take my power back, from a well-intentioned and very loving mother who placed an exaggerated priority on having a thin daughter. I’m pretty sure a lot of women will be able to relate to it. The good news is that we’ve all come a way since then.

What is the main empowering lesson you want your readers to take away after finishing your book?

That they can do anything they want. That if they’re stuck, they don’t have to stay there. They don’t have to lay down and go to sleep there. That they have choices — and they’ve always had choices, whether they’ve realized it or not.

That they’re not victims. That everything they have in their lives is a byproduct of what they’ve invited in. I know we all have our reasons — whether we’re fully conscious of them or not, although I encourage readers to get conscious fast.

That they are more powerful than they think. And that just as they may have brought things into their lives that don’t serve them, they can also choose to let them go. Because it is, indeed, a choice.

That the love they want is not only possible, but they deserve it. And they can have it at any age. In fact, they are never too [insert adjective] to have the love they want. That what they want is well within their grasp.

That letting go involves risk, and if they do the work I propose in the book, they’ll become excellent risk-takers. And come to know instinctively that no matter what the risk, they’ll always be okay. Because they’ve got themselves. And they are awesome!

That was certainly the case for me. Once I’d finally learned how to let go, I was able to go into relationships in an entirely new way. I no longer dated from a place of desperation or fear. I no longer worried about the other person liking me; my priority had become whether I liked them. I knew that there were many ways to have a happy life and that it was up to me to both choose it and create it.

As a result of this shift in mindset, I became more discerning about who I allowed in and ultimately attracted the love I always wanted…and so much more!

Based on your experience, what are the “5 Things You Need to Know to Become a Great Author”? Please share a story or example for each.

Don’t do it. You’ll never make a living. You’ll never get it done. You’ll drive yourself crazy. It will be bad. People will chant “you suck” on the subway. Save yourself and get an accounting degree. I honestly think this is one of the reasons why it’s taken me so long to publish my first book. Because my inner critic has been stopping me. Many years ago, I wrote a novel and got an agent for it, but the agent couldn’t sell it. He encouraged me to rewrite and revise, but I didn’t do it. Back then, I convinced myself I was bored with the book — that I didn’t want to spend any more time on it — but I think, in hindsight, the real problem was I had this enormous limiting belief that told me it would never get published anyway. That I didn’t deserve to have a published book. That I wasn’t good enough to write a book that meant something or that I couldn’t do it anyway. So, I let it go … but not in a good way. Or maybe it was in a good way. Maybe I wasn’t meant to write that book. I’d like to think the latter …that it just wasn’t the right book for the right time. I know for sure that this one is.

Silence your inner critic, a.k.a. the gal who wrote the first point. Unless you’re writing dialogue for a character, remain your own true north. Honor your voice above all others (e.g., your judgmental mother, crazy ex, the mean girls from high school, etc.). Nowadays, I’m all about this: Telling the truth. I recognize that there’s power in being authentic. And so, I don’t hesitate to go there.

Never give up. You know being an author is who you are. It’s burning in you. Over the past decade, I had pushed down the idea of ever going back to writing books, which is something I’d always wanted to do. Like so many aspiring authors, I had a few unpublished manuscripts in my drawers, just sitting there, collecting dust. And while I did a lot of writing in my corporate job, it wasn’t the same. I’d resigned myself to the idea that I’d work that corporate job through to retirement and keep pushing this dream of being a writer of books down in my gut…until it eventually went away. But it never did. Besides, my Type A personality doesn’t lend itself well to resignation. And now, it’s what I’m doing most: Getting ready to publish one book, and starting the process of working on another. Again, intention is powerful. It sounds hokey, but don’t give up on your dreams. If you really want them and you do the work, they’ll be there for you.

Be okay with mess. Because that’s what the writing process eats for breakfast — one messy draft after the next. Until it all comes together. And it will…That’s where letting go has really helped me…to be patient, understand that all good things come in all good time, and accept that chaos and mess is a necessary part of the creative process.

Let go. Of whatever is standing between you and making it happen: Fear, shame, overwhelm, imposter syndrome, expectations, rejection (so much rejection!), whether you’ll publish, get an agent, a book deal, what you’ll write about, whether it’s stupid, whether you have the time, chops, or ergonomically perfect red toile chair to make it happen. If it feels bad in your body, let it go. And keep doing the work. I could not have dreamed I would have gotten this far. To do a TEDx talk with millions of views, and write a book about letting go for love, that helps other people navigate their own heartbreak using the lessons from my own. It’s all been such a gift, really. Now I understand why I had to go through it all.

What is the one habit you believe contributed the most to you becoming a great writer? (i.e. perseverance, discipline, play, craft study)? Can you share a story or example?

Writing practice, hands down. Writing practice is method devised by author Natalie Goldberg, who is one of my writing gurus. I’ve taken several of her workshops, which are amazing, and wrote an interview piece on her a few years back. She gave me a blurb for my book, which I’m incredibly honored to have!

Anyway, she teaches writing practice in Writing Down the Bones, a tome every writer should have on their shelf. It’s essentially a device you use to improve in terms of craft, skill, voice, and consistency. The premise, oversimplified, is that you write for ten-minute increments on any given topic. The only rule is that you keep your hand moving the entire time, which limits your ability to think too hard or censor yourself, allowing your true feelings and ideas to come through onto the page.

Writing practice is something that has really helped me get better as a writer. Not only is it great for overcoming “writer’s block” since it actually forces you to write, but it’s terrific for those who need to find their voice and/or develop a ritual for writing.

It’s definitely taught me focus and, most importantly, how to trust myself as a writer. To have confidence in knowing that everything I need to convey is inside of me; and, that as long as I do the work and keep my hand moving, it will ultimately show up in my writing in a meaningful way.

Knowing that has really been such a relief, because I think all writers worry that we’ll lose it. That we won’t be able to find the words, get it out, stay creative. And being a writer is more than just a profession or act. At least for me and many of the other writers I know, being a writer defines an important part of who we are.

Which literature do you draw inspiration from? Why?

I am inspired by books that make me feel connected to the story and the author out of the gate. I want to feel like the writer and I are sitting around the kitchen table, and they’re talking directly to me. Natalie Goldberg says we read books to get closer to the author, and for me, that’s true.

I am also inspired by stories that draw me in fast. I want to be on page 103 almost immediately, because that’s when you know you’re really in. And I want to get lost in the story and be carried away. I love books that offer me a full-body experience, and leave me exhausted in the very best of ways when I’m done with them.

I love fiction, books that tell the lie that tells the truth, and books that lend fictional elements to true stories, which is some of what I’ve done in my own book. One of my favorite books of all time is In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez. I also loved She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb, Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole, and The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen. I read the ending of The Corrections on the exercise bike at the gym and bawled my eyes out. I was so moved and lost in it, I completely forgot I was in public with other people. That’s what I’m talking about.

Although East of Eden is probably my favorite book of all time. Bel Canto by Ann Patchett, Paula by Isabelle Allende. There are so many!

Many years ago, I went on a creative weekend trip with a dear artist friend also named Jill. The plan was to spend three days in a remote cabin in Minnesota, where she would paint and I would write. Well, I didn’t realize there was no electricity in this cabin so my computer died before dinner. Since I have terrible handwriting and some carpal tunnel issues, I spent the long weekend reading all six of the books I brought with me “just in case” I needed a break from writing.

For three days, the other Jill would leave in the morning to paint by the lake and then come back inside the cabin for lunch and dinner, where she’d find me where she left me: On the sofa engrossed in a book. The only variable was my mood, depending on where I was in terms of page number and subject matter. We still laugh about this: One day she’d find me crying, the next day I’d be hysterically laughing and begging her to let me read something to her. The next day I was chewing my nails, hanging off a snowy cliff with the characters in Jon Krakauer’s book Into Thin Air (some of those people really had no business being there…I’m still scratching my head).

Now THAT’s good reading!

You are a person of enormous influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

Well, first of all, that’s lovely. So, thank you.

And secondly, I’d like to think that I’ve already begun doing that with my talk and my book in inspiring people to let go of that which no longer serves them. And, actually giving them a process for doing it! The coveted “how.” That’s the movement — the movement to LET GO.

I’m excited to keep spreading the word, helping women value themselves first and most, so they’re more inclined to take the risks that are inherent in letting go.

So, they have the courage and confidence they need to be bold with their lives, and never settle for what they don’t want simply because they believe they don’t deserve what they do want … or that it’s not possible for or accessible to them. We each deserve the best.

I know it can be scary and hard to let go. But, as part of this movement, we must remind people that fear and reluctance and grief of loss are temporary, short-term byproducts of being courageous, making hard choices in service of building a life you can love. Because letting go is incredibly transformational in the long term. The problem is we’re not hard-wired for change, so letting go, which at its very core is about creating change, can feel like climbing Mount Everest to some folks. (See how I did that? Jon Krakauer, Into Thin Air … sorry.) And if that’s the case, follow the process in my book. It will get you there!

How can our readers follow you on social media?

They can follow me @letgoforit on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. And at Jill Sherer Murray on LinkedIn. They can also subscribe to my website at www.letgoforit.com to watch my talk, read my Big Wild Love advice column, and stay up on all the new things I have coming up to help folks let go in their own worlds. I also invite them to join my private Facebook group called “The Society of Big Wild Love with Jill Sherer Murray”. We’re having some really compelling conversations about what it takes to cultivate the Big Wild self-love you need to let go for the things that matter, so come on in!

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