Back for just a spell…

The Bitch is back. Where have I been? Where have you been? My computer is dying a slow painful death so I don’t write or blog like I should. I think about it often and miss it but I hate sounding like a hypocrite promising I’ll write more when I’m not sure I can commit to it.

Someone I know asked me about me and my writing. I kept a journal from 1989 to 2005. Writing was for me and continues to be a form of catharsis. I would purge all of the emotions of the day; love, hate, lust, anger, joy, sorrow and grief. Journal entries were like literary snapshots. At times I was able to go back and reread entries and be instantly transported to that time and those emotions. One fateful day, someone read my journal. They gathered their evidence and let the tension mount until they spilled what they’d read as well as how it made them feel. What that did for me was make me horribly self-conscious of everything I wrote after that.

When that someone asked me about writing, he assumed that I was afraid of how other people judged what I wrote. I wish it were that easy. I had to get to a point where I could accept and trust what I wrote so people could even read it. People aren’t always going to agree with what I have to say. That’s a part of writing, a part of the process. Slowly but surely I’m making my way back.