Ken Silva and the fine crew of God’s Only Inerrant Party have recently discovered a new sinister plot by those Evil Emergents who are truly pagan and worship Satan. Here are the details that our GOIP Bot Searcher 3342 found on futher investigation:

The Post-Emergent Church Of The Future—For old people that never grow out of their youth. A non-seeker-sensitive approach to church: How to lose friends and alienate people. The Post-Emergent Church will return us back to fundamentalism while still remaining relevant. Praise Hymn Rock Songs Include:

In Awe Of Thy 600+ Commandments, Praise Jesus 25x Chorus, Jesus Is Coming Now Grab Your Guns, We’re Old But We’re Still Young In Church, A Mighty Fortress Is Our Bible, I Saw Jesus Shoot A Heretic But He Did Not Shoot The Deputy, We Hold The Absolute Truth And So Can You, We’ll Annoy You With One More Praise Chorus, We Wish You A Servetus Barbecue, O I Hope My Shoe Is Holey Enough For The Rapture and Raise A Banner Of War On The Non-Elect

Confession of Faith: Legalism is Lord. Church services will include inquisitions on non-believers followed by forced baptisms. Afterwards, we’ll have a pot luck lunch. Everyone wins—souls that is! Rainbow wigs available after your first forced communion.

Here’s visual proof that America is a Christian Nation and God’s Chosen Nation—the caption under the photographic evidence reads: “Photograph of that time when Jesus descended from the clouds to deliver the U.S. Constitution. You remember, all of the founding fathers were there, and Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, a liberal professor clutching Origin of the Species to his chest, Satan….” Nevermind these quotes: ” As I understand the Christian religion, it was, and is, a revelation. But how has it happened that millions of fables, tales, legends, have been blended with both Jewish and Christian revelation that have made them the most bloody religion that ever existed?
– John Adams, letter to FA Van der Kamp, December 27, 1816
The Treaty of Tripoli
Signed by John Adams”As the government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Musselmen [Muslims] … it is declared … that no pretext arising from religious opinion shall ever product an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries….
“The United States is not a Christian nation any more than it is a Jewish or a Mohammedan nation.”
– Treaty of Tripoli (1797), carried unanimously by the Senate and signed into law by John Adams (the original language is by Joel Barlow, US Consul)”—they were invented by liberals exercising their humanistic pride against our sovereign God who predestined America as His Chosen Nation from the foundation of time. We have visual evidence.

Recently our GOIP Researchmentalist Robot Monkies as in Monkeys that mock Catholic monks have come upon this convicting photo of those Evil Emergents. Our faithful party members Jack Chick and Peter Ruckman obtained this photograph via their Mighty G…od Fortress Space Station on Mars that they were Raptured up to after escaping the 10 Foot Tall Black-lipped Alien UFO Anti-Christ. They got there via our Holy Time Machine which took them to an Alternative Future Universe run by those Apostate Emergents and Human-Animals hybrids. Fearing for their lives and the safety of our Pure Doctrines, they rushed back to the past to post this photo exposing those Heretical Emergents for the Bible-Corrupters that they are. So do you still think those Emergents aren’t Evil imposter Christians who are Spiritual Terrorists out to destroy our Pure Churches, Pure Doctrines and Pure Bibles? If you still don’t believe us this photo should remove all doubt. We all know that all of those Evil Emergents support same-sex marriage and we know with Absolute Certainty that if gays and lesbians are allowed to get married that the next logical step is interspecies marriage. And that’s just what will happen if those Satan controlled Emergents get their way. Is this what we want for our children’s future—interspecies marriage? Human–Animal hybrids— “Manimals?” We think not that’s why we must impose our Pure Doctrines on everyone by military and government force. Praise God!

Don Jobson—Standing on the Absolute Truth of Orthomarriage as espoused by only by God’s Only Inerrant Party.

Get it—got it? Good because we told you so! We are God’s Pure and True Elect so therefore we are Inerrant in our Online Discernmentalist skills. The Absolute Truth must be known which only we can give you because God Chose and Froze us as Truth Warriors from the foundation of the world.

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Dude! This is a satire site!

Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.