Before I moved out to the Pacific Northwest from the Septic Southeast, I took great care to make sure I just so happened to walk off with my roommates "Styx: Greatest Hits" album. Halfway to Seattle I would "realize" I had "accidentally" taken it. Oops.

The plan was perfect.

"So, who gets these Ginger Lynn DVDs?"

"Oh, I don't know. Why don't we take these tranquilizers and think about it."

"OK"

So, I made off with it like a thief in the night. Fast forward two months.

I'm visiting Kyle at Microsoft HQ.

"So, this is the division that invented pixels."

"Wow. Hey, wait ... That's my Styx C.D.!"

And it was. And it was nailed to a door. Shattered. Broken. My heart as well.

"What the hell is my Styx C.D. doing nailed to a door at Microsoft headquarters?!?"

"Um, yeah. I borrowed it and then my boss didn't like it. So, he nailed it to his door."

"What?!? You mean to tell me that a major world corporation is responsible for destroying my Styx album?"

"Yep."

It was an outrage of Orwellian proportions. And I could do nothing but sit back and take it.

"We own you," someone whispered in my ear.

----Check out my throwback Mariner's cap. I have one like it that I'm going to wear this weekend when I go see the M's play the Rangers. The tickets were a surprise gift from R. Girl.Violent Stick People