Monday, September 29, 2008

Remember last week? When I was pretty sure I was going to die? Yeah. Now I am almost twice as sure.

Thursday, for no apparent reason, my nose started to itch. Did this mean I was going to come into money? No. It meant germs were descending upon me. I don't know who to blame for this. I am sure there are many sick people around the office but no one has recently coughed or sneezed in my direction.

By Friday morning, I had the runny noise and drainage. Always a bundle of laughs. My chiropractor did some acupressure on my sinus trigger points and it was interesting to see how swollen my lymph nodes were under my jaw. He also recommended some absolutely vile thing called Chinese Coptis which helps you fight infection. Quite possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever had in my life. But it helped. The rest of the day was spent with me trying to breathe because my lungs would fill up with the crap. I'd do the pressure points and then go and throw up a ton of phlegm BUT I'd be able to breathe again. I did impress my boss with my dedication to work when she overheard me in the bathroom. After she expressed concern, I reassured her that this was surprisingly a good thing because I like to breathe. I come down very strongly on the side of breathing.

Saturday Keem and I went gallivanting because it was her birthday. We went to the casino where Keem won $300. I, unfortunately, was not as lucky as her but at least I broke even. Then we went to play Bingo where I won $10 and Keem won $99. We did not win the jackpot of $1,000 but were philosophical about it because (direct quote) "at least those annoying people didn't win." The annoying people were a group of women sitting behind Keem who decided to talk about their turn-ons and also a man, his girlfriend and an older woman who sat there complaining about the fact that they weren't winning. Loudly. With lots of swear words. Which, hey, normally I will swear with the best of them, but threatening the bingo caller with your dauber is not very nice. And it's a game! Not everyone wins! That's why it's called gambling!

Sunday was spent lying about the apartment, whining to Keem about how I was dying (cold has descended into my lungs, I try to avoid coughing because it hurts my ribs so I end up trying to do something similar to Lamaze to stop the coughing. It actually sounds like "Whoo-hooo-hoo" and then Keem hears it and yells at me because I have to get the crap out of my lungs). This annoys her but she must have felt somewhat sorry for me because she dyed my hair (the box says it is pomegranate but I'm not so sure - it looks closer to black) and also turned on the subtitles when we watched The Bank Job (my hearing sucks and accents make it worse. So while Jason Statham is very pretty, I'd actually like to know why he's being chased around by lots of people). Subtitles are never allowed the first time we've watched a movie so I know that pity was involved (or she couldn't hear them either).

Today my morning pretty much sucked (cough, hack, spit, repeat ad nauseum) but then I went to the chiropractor. After doing the whole pressure points thing again and cracking something called "the atlas", I went to work feeling much taller and, after about an hour, able to breathe again. It's now about 4:30 and when I first started this post, it was about 9:30 and I did think I would never feel better again. Plus, the best part of all of this? I only took cold medicine on Friday and nothing since then. Usually I swallow cold medicine like it's going out of style and spend the time floating around in a daze. Maybe the plague is over? Maybe Monday doesn't hate me after all? I could almost believe that if it wasn't for all of the monitorings I have to finish by tomorrow.

How are you all doing? Were you as sad as I was to hear about Paul Newman passing away?

About Me

Just for the record, my opinions, hopes, dreams, etc., are just that. They have absolutely no reflection on my employer. Not that I'm going to tell you who that is...
I am the (self proclaimed) Queen of the Universe. Join my cadre of loyal subjects and all will be well in your world. My mantra is "Embrace Chaos. Adore Chaos. Give Chaos a big kiss on the mouth." NEW mantra this week - "No one ever suspects the socks."
Email me at greenduckiesgirl(at)comcast(dot)net