Doutzen Kroes Knows the Final Two.

Watch out for Frostbite.

Wanted to mention a few quick things before I get to the picks. There are only two games this week anyway. Pretty sad thought that we are down to the last three games of the NFL season. Seems like yesterday that Kevin Kolb got face planted into concussionville in week one. So, before the picks, two observations.

I saw a car in front of my building yesterday that had one of those things that block the sun across the windshield. This struck me as odd on any number of levels. First, have you seen a lot of these lately? Isn’t this a failed experiment? They have to be the most unwieldy invention of all-time. You have to do the spin/fold, or however you dismantle those things. It’s like trying to get an air mattress back in the bag. Not happening. And, I think they probably don’t help that much. Last I checked, sun didn’t just come through the windshield. Also, if you park your car in the sun on a hot day you can do about whatever you want to the thing…you are going to burn your tail when you get back inside. Put all that aside, though. It’s freezing outside. Are you trying to cool your car down from 28 to 26 degrees. It was the kind of thing that made me want to wait for the person, see what was up, but then I realized that anyone rocking the sun shield in January is obviously out of their mind.

Second thing I want to talk about. Residual speed trap damage. There is a dentist’s office not far from where I live. On a few occasions I have driven by and seen a police car in the lot with its lights flashing. This causes my mind to wander. What is going on in that office? Some type of underground nitrous scheme? Dentists can be odd cats. So, anyway, the other day I am driving and the mystery is solved. I see the speed trap set up right near that location. An unsuspecting motorist zips by, the cops hit the flashers and the most reasonable place for the offender to pull over is in this dentist’s parking lot. Wouldn’t this bother you if you were this dentist? Sure, I eventually put it together, but up until then it was the dentist who always had the cops outside. Not the first place I’d take my teeth. Just another reason speed traps are garbage.

On to the picking….

Grossy: Playoff Record, 4-4

Green Bay (-3.5) @ Chicago. I’ve got plenty of reasons for this one. Ranging from completely unsubstantial, “it seems like Green Bay’s year.” To the painfully obvious, “Did you see Aaron Rodgers against Atlanta?” I’m going to ride the hot team here despite the warning signs. The thing that makes me comfortable about Green Bay is that their defense can bail out the offense if it happens to not score 30. The Eagles couldn’t do that. The Pats couldn’t. Falcons couldn’t. I think the Packers can. So, since they can win ugly, or outscore Chicago, I have to take them. Also the Bears are terrible and annoying. Have you heard Gale Sayers recently? Chuck Bednarik syndrome. Dorsey Levens is the difference, Pack by a TD.

Pittsburgh (-4) vs. New York. I guess because the line seems too high? Or maybe I figure if I take both favorites, one is bound to win? A lot of signs point to the Jets in this game, and so my only real argument is that I am going the other way. Wait. Who am I kidding here? You want Mark Sanchez? You can have him. I still don’t think he can win this game. In fact, I think he’s going to make a very costly mistake. New York is going to try to keep him from ruining everything, but they aren’t going to be able to run the ball. Cue Sanchez, cue the sailing interception, and cue the chorus of, “Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow.” It might be a quasi-garbage cover like last week, but it’ll be another cover. Sorry, Rexy.

KRAFT: Playoff Record, 4-4

Green Bay (-3.5) @ Chicago. Aaron Rodgers looks like a robot right now slicing through opposing defenses. I know this is a divisional game, and the Bears D is good, but I can’t see how their offense is going to score against a defense that held down Philly and Atlanta on the road. I don’t like the Packers, but I have to say they would make a much better Super Bowl team than the Bears.

Jets +3.5 @ Steelers. I hate the Steelers, and it seems like the Jets have a magical run going. Similar to the Bears, I see the Steelers having trouble to score. They don’t run the ball and most of their big plays seem to be from Big Ben breaking away from a sack. I think they struggle to move the ball consistently and Dirty Sanchez makes a couple big throws and the J-E-T-S make the Super Bowl. Two weeks of Fireman Ed pub.

Chicago +3 vs. Green Bay. Gross has a theory in college football that says you should back a home team getting points and playing the biggest game in franchise history.
It’s kind of hard to find that scenario in the NFL but I am going to say this is as close as it gets as Chicago is playing the biggest home game in franchise history and they’re getting points.
Green Bay’s biggest downfall will be their inability to run the ball. They were able to run against the eagles but were not as successful against Atlanta. I don’t care how good Rodgers is because when you play against a defense as good as the Bears you cannot be one dimensional.
Chicago 27, Green Bay 24

Pittsburgh -3.5 vs New York. I’m not saying the Jets come out flat with so much on the line but with two emotional wins against the Colts and Pats on the road it is hard for me to believe they can win one more on the road.
I also can’t see NY wining at Pitt twice in the same season. The one matchup NY needs to exploit is Pitt’s average O-line.
Other than that it could be ugly.
Pitt 30, NY 14

Its not that different from my theory, but I think people are putting too much into this Green Bay thing. I know it’s a rivalry, but Chicago was in the Super Bowl what, 4-5 yrs ago? This isn’t unprecedented.

Green Bay -3.5…..Rodgers is on fire, and Cutler is due for a DA performance. It will pretty much be a home game for both teams. I’m just going with the better team. Besides, the Bears beat the shittiest team in NFL Playoff history to get here.

Steelers -3.5….Sanchize will fall. Polamalu is a shape-shifter and will cover the entire field today. Rex Ryan will still be fat. Jets will lose. All will return to normal.

At this point in the season I don’t care anymore. In fact I fully expect the Steelers to kill NY – but I’m hoping to throw the Tom Jackson “hexola” on the Jets. Frankly, I hate both of these teams and hope the NFC wins the Super Bowl. Around here our decade of dominance is sacred, so sharing 3 peat status with the Steelers would be tough – also I personally don’t think Rapelisberger is nearly as good a TB 12.

Is there any fan base more annoying than the Jets? During the first drive of the game, (you know, the 9 minute one where teh Steelers dominated the Jets?) there were jets fans cheering every, single thing in the bar. 7 yard gain? Cheer bart scott for tripping him up last second. Incompletion? Wildly cheer. First down? Blame it on the refs. Stop them for no gain? J-E-T-S JETSJETSJETS. Please, for the love of God jets fans, not EVERY PLAY is do or die. You don’t need to vocalize your support after everything, we get it, you’re a fan of the Jets. Feel free to watch the game and cheer at crucial moments or big plays. Just pump the brakes a little.