The digital world doesn’t always serve us, a lot of the time it’s actually hurting us. We compare ourselves to others, feel less than and use it as a place to seek validation. Please Instagram, give me a lotta likes on this post so I can feel good enough. Please somebody copy and paste my Facebook Status (not share) because I need to know you’ve read it all because only then will I know who actually cares. This isn’t healthy, this isn’t serving us. Social media depression has become a real thing and it’s time to make a change.

The reason I started #SelfLoveTemberwas that I noticed how toxic and unhealthy social media can be. I wanted to help to make it a place we can feel good. A place where we are inspired to love ourselves and not compare ourselves or seek validation. A place when we come online because it feels good and we’ve proactively decided too and not out of the habit of just mindlessly opening the app. Self-love matters, but we’ve forgotten that and become addicted to our phones and forgot the best moments happen offline.

We use our phones to numb out. That dopamine fix is mighty good after all, but it’s so short-lived that we find ourselves constantly online. I do it too and I am slowly finding a balance that works for me. I haven’t quite got it yet so please don’t think I’m judging any of these addictive or self-validation behaviours. I can’t, I couldn’t possibly, I have my own online/offline balance not quite to my liking yet, but what I can say is I’m very aware of it and I’m working really hard to find a balance that feels good for me and already my progress feels great and very self-loving.

These online tools are amazing. We can connect with people all around the world, we can get inspired, find the answers to things (my hubby changed the engine of this car from watching ‘How To YouTube videos’, saved us a fortune) and for that reason, I think it’a wonderful. Sometimes it’s been something someone has said on an online video that has made all the difference that day, that nugget of wisdom from that Ted Talk or that self-help guru. Sometimes it’s simply just somebody sharing their story, that inspired me so much that I made a healthy change of habit.

It’s the place where I get to hold #SelfLoveTember and teach the power of self-love and I’m forever grateful for that. It’s the place I created the Choose To Rise Facebook group and I’m so proud of this community. I love it and couldn’t do what I do without it. The online world can be a beautiful place, but only when we get the balance right.

It really is all about balance and balance is individual. For me, that balance is I get to enjoy it every day but I have to have an intention, which is usually checking the #SelfLoveTember hashtag or sharing something in the group. Mindlessly scrolling Instagram doesn’t feel good to me and it’s a waste of my time and life. I could be doing so many more fun things or just relaxing. Relaxing is underrated but so powerful for our creativity and happiness. I put my phone away when I’m with people I love and if it takes a little longer for me to reply to a message then that’s cool too. That’s my balance.

If someone we love is talking to us and we are scrolling our Facebook, we missed a moment that matters. At that moment, we say to them without saying it, my phone is more important than you. That pains me to say because I have done it and still catch myself doing it.

When we spend time trying to curate a great caption or get the perfect selfie to look better, we have forgotten feeling good is always from within. We live in a world where we go out with friends and go to the toilet and find ourselves having a quick scroll. I can remember a time when bathroom stops were quicker because the fun was outside not on the phone. The fun still is, but somehow we’ve forgotten.

We check our phones constantly because the fear of missing out is huge, but here’s the thing we are missing out. We are missing the moment all the time. If you do nothing else today, do watch the video below its only 4 minutes. If you still want to spend just as much time on your phone then be my guest, but be proactive and really think about how much time you spend online and if it’s serving you.

There are no hard and fast rules to social media and phone usage, but if you find yourself constantly checking, seeking validation, comparing yourself or simply numbing out or procrastinating with it then it’s time to take your power back. Last year, I took a week off because I’d got really addicted and it helped me so much. 3 years ago I took a whole month off and I loved it. I wasn’t a blogger then so it was more doable and I don’t feel the need to do that now anyway, my point is if your twitching having time offline then your addicted and that addiction like all addictions can have negative side effects on you and your relationships so love yourself enough to find a balance that feels healthy for you. If you miss an Instagram story or two, it really doesn’t matter, but your life does. I’m talking about this not to preach but actually because I found myself slipping back into addictive habits and I’m so much more fulfilled when I have a healthy balance so here’s to more fulfilment and a better life.

Have a wonderful day, love yourself and use social media because it feels good, not as a way to numb out or to combat boredom. You deserve so much more than to lose your power to your phone. Loving yourself means to create a life you love too and you can only create a good life by being there for it. Don’t lose it to your phone. More and more people are depressed due to our relationship with technology, don’t be one of them.

Be kind to you, Namaste,

Kirsty xx

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I’m Kirsty Dee a wellness advocate. I'm not the super clean eating type, more the you should love yourself type. Kinda like junk food, forever wishing avocado didn't make me sad. So if your looking for real honest wellness with a bit of a woo-woo spiritual vibe to it then I've gotcha. I'll be pushing you to rise because that's what I do. Welcome to my corner of the internet 🧡

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I started this blog as a place to share my wellness journey and it grew to become a place where I could help women learn to love themselves and Choose To Rise.My passion comes because I didn’t love myself, in fact, I didn’t like myself. I was CONTINUE READING…

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3 months agoLet’s give this self care thing a try for #adventchallenge . I am combining days 6 and 7 of the @theselflovesummit@iammelwells self love advent challenge by indulging in a nice warm bath as quality time for me - this is something I rarely do but now I’m wondering why not! I love long hot showers but I forgot how relaxing a bath feels and is just the thing to wind down with after a hectic week of plans and prep, school nativities and Christmas parties and it’s only the beginning of December . I feel like I have this limiting

6 months agoThe cutest candle award goes to the @lymebay travel size candle found in your Choose To Rise Box. Made from 100% soy wax and beautiful natural ingredients like the sweetness of cider apples and the juice of wild berries. These candles are hand poured on the Jurassic coast of England and have a wooden wick for all your hygge feels. Best of all it smells delicious with such a happy, uplifting, fresh scent having a mid note of bergamot.There is something very therapeutic about lighting a candle and setting your ambience. Very proud to have this gem in the box,

3 months agoProud to say that the Autumn/Winter Choose To Rise box is now out. I took on board all your feedback from the last one. This one is cruelty-free and now fully vegan too, it's more affordable and includes a few beverages and chocolate, because apparently we need chocolate I hope you love it as much as I do. It also comes with a mystery item, not photoed because I don't want to ruin the suprise and you'll also be able to enjoy the brand new audio series which I'm so frigging proud of. Thank you all for supporting me to

6 months agoLooking after my skin with natural skincare is a big passion of mine. Nothing says self-care like taking the time to look after yourself inside and out. Natural skincare means I know what's going into my body, I know what my skin is absorbing and I'm a true believer that nothing beats the power of plants. Today's routine includes using my Northern Soap from @naturasiberica_uk it's something I use for deep cleanse once a week and after the festival last weekend it was desperately needed and overdue. Now my skin feels fresh again and because I can't keep all the

3 months agoGotta get that shot There is so much that goes into bringing these boxes to light from sourcing the right products, finding brands who's ethics I like to creating audios and doing photoshoots. There is quite some work involved going from idea to execution and once upon a time I'd of doubted my abilities to pull it off. Now we are heading closer to 2019 and I have so many ideas to grow the Choose To Rise concept further and it brings me all the vibes. For anyone that chooses to rise with me and goes after what they want