Click HERE for a list of the multinational, multicultural, multiracial, multicolored, progressive, enlightened, forward-thinking, backstabbing coalition of empowered people who assist me in the creation and maintenance of this website.

The Idiocrat

Georgia Congressman Hank Johnson: Possibly the Dumbest Politician in World History

Far be it from me to assert that Sarah Palin is intelligent or deserves to have her finger on the Doomsday Button—from my observations, she has roughly the same IQ as an Alaskan King Crab.

But the gleefully ferocious bloodlust with which her detractors lunge at her gives me pause. Do they REALLY need to go after the retarded kid, and would they have the nuts to go after a Democratic politician's Mongoloid spawn? If you're honest, you'd check "NO" on both these questions.

Are there other stupid white politicians? Yes, my rainbow-colored chum, there are. Dan Quayle didn't know how to spell "potato." George W. Bush obviously ascended to the presidency not due to his nonpareil analytical skills, but because of name-branding and family connections. I am not in denial about the existence of stupid white politicians.

But the American mainstream media, as well as nearly all spudniks who identify themselves as political "progressives," are in savagely blind robot-zombie denial about the fact that our once-fair nation abounds with nonwhite politicos who'd lose a chess match to a garden snail.

For example, take a gander at Florida representative Corinne Brown bumbling and stumbling and appearing to be intoxicated and retarded—in Congress and caught on film, no less:

All I'm asking from you all is a fair viewing and a rigorous session of introspection, followed by an intense bout of self-shaming. After watching this video, can anyone honestly tell me that Ms. Brown isn't monumentally dumber than Sarah Palin?

So where are the jokes about her, Bill Maher and Jon Stewart?

Say hello to Congressperson Sheila Jackson Lee of Texas and her pyramidal hairdo:

Where are the jokes about her, all you ballsy, edgy comedians?

I live in a very black area of Georgia east of Atlanta. Hank Johnson is my congressman. He is paid $174K a year to spend my money and will receive $174K a year for the rest of his life. On March 25th at a congressional hearing, he expressed concern that sending more Marines to Guam may cause the island to capsize. Watch as he stutters and stammers and uses terms such as "least widest" and says "level" when he means "width."

After that video went viral on April 1, Johnson's office issued a statement that he was only speaking metaphorically. Again—swallow your anti-cognitive-dissonance pills, remove whatever left/right, black/white blinders you're wearing, and honestly tell me you think that's true.

When the "metaphoric" excuse didn't work, it was explained that Johnson suffers from Hepatitis-C—which is typically acquired through intravenous drug use—and is suffering from "brain fog" due to his medical treatment.

Fine. You could shoot me up with enough heroin to kill ten Sid Viciouses, and I still wouldn't think that islands could capsize.

Then, when all else failed, his supporters merely began chanting "RACIST!" at all the naysayers.

Here's The Honorable Hank Johnson opining that Congressman Joe Wilson's shout of "You lie!" during an Obama speech—a comment which had absolutely nothing to do with race—will inevitably lead to hordes of night-riding Klansman scaring the bajiggity of decent black folks who believe that islands are actually large rubber rafts:

If you don't think this man is dumb, I have news for you—you're both dumb.

A few years ago, an urban legend emerged about George W. Bush having an IQ in the 80-90 range, qualifying him as the dumbest president ever. Left-leaning pundits seized on the legend, joyously maligning an IQ that, ironically, was square in the middle of black America's mean IQ range. The rumors about Bush's super-low IQ were revealed to be unsubstantiated, but you didn't hear as much about that.

How long will blackness serve as a shield against all accusations of stupidity?

Not long. Not long at all. The black cat is out of the bag, America. A huge part of being human is the potential to be very, very stupid.