On the 23rd of June 2016 the UK was asked to make a decision on its future.

I wrote a blog about it just a IMG 1265 copyfew days before in my usual optimistic frame of mind. I voted remain because I believe a united world is where we should be headed. I do, however, understand that although I sense that is where we shall end up, humanity has to go through many teething issues before we choose the simple road. The answer is always simple but when humanity has gone through thousands of years oppression and pain, clarity is not an attribute we would be expected to have gained as a whole. I remain, as I said, optimistic.

I’m not sure if you were aware but there is about to be a referendum in our country?

No, I’m not joking, there are some people who are not aware. Something inside me wants to say

good on them. If you can remain that obvlivious to the political world that takes some doing.

I have been trying to keep my head out of the papers and news channels for so long now but it’s impossible to ignore if you are concerned about the world, the country you live in and the people you share it with. And, of course, voting is so important.

I am concerned with all these things but I try to keep my view point as wide as possible. I am very much part of the ‘in’ campaign because everything that I am working and living for is about love and connection. It is true that the EU is far from perfect but I believe it is easier to make positive changes from within. I know that many feel that because things are not good in the UK, it would be better to leave. But, when you consider all the information we are being fed, whether it is true or not, I don’t believe leaving is the answer. Our issues are of a more internal nature.

My journey to the heart, for those who have been following my blogs and journeys, has been a long one. That, however, is not a bad thing as far as I am concerned. A slow comfortable ride is, for me, always the best way to travel because you get to take in the scenery and really enjoy the whole process in a relaxed and contemplative manner. Anything I can do that brings me in to my body rather than into my head, or out of my body, I see as a step in the right direction.

2016, what a year it’s been and Spring is only just raising its head. I’m calling it the year of reckoning though we probably could have called any of the past few years by the same name. But this really is the one. If we haven’t sorted any outstanding issues already now is the time.

I know I still have many skeletons in my closet, who can honestly say otherwise. Speaking and hearing my truth is probably the answer to most my issues though I know I can’t even get close until I start feeling my truth. Layer upon layer of life’s little challenges mean that there are many walls that I have put up between me and my real self to deal with my sense of separation with spirit. Neale Donald Walsh put it very clearly in his book ‘Communion With God’ where he explains the difference between our cultural understanding of a religious god and a spiritual one. As we are told through our religious stories that god is separate from us we deal with that in different ways. With the feeling of loss, fear and need to be able to return home, the possibility of failure leads to much judgement and pain. With these negative feelings we put up barriers between our selves and our heart as all feelings are too challenging and we gradually lose sense of our truth, who we really are. The painful illusion that we bring into being as we close down our powerful and beautiful being and replace it with a version of the ego completely detached from spirit, this dulled down lesser version ourselves, creates a world of lost souls.

candleSo, as we are heading towards the end of the year and Christmas is nigh what are our hopes and dreams? Who would have thought it would be war? Sadly the truth is that if that is what we have collectively created then that’s what we have been collectively wishing for. Although this is clearly very sad, acceptance is the first step towards change and I have come to learn to accept the journey we are on.

Any of you who have come across my Keys to the Golden City project know that the number 12 is very important to me for many reasons. It feels ironic that I only have to look back 12 years to find myself in exactly the same position that I am now only hopefully slightly wiser to the story we are creating.

After years of not feeling the urge to march, especially after the grimness of the poll tax march in 1990, in 2003 I took to the streets again, terrified that the government (I had ironically voted for) had no idea of what they were stirring up. It’s taken until now for Blair to admit that he was wrong and that the war created the new Islamic State and the ironies continue because it was he who called those that marched against the war ‘naive’. Well, the mirror always shows the truth revealing the leaders to be the ones who were naive.

Now, it seems that just as our leaders of only 12 years ago are beginning to understand the fire they have been playing with and apologising for it, the next generation of politicians are already put their hands to their ears and are refusing to listen to those that made the mistakes before them, thinking they know better.

pantoWhat has happened to our politics? I know it’s always been a farce but these days it seems beyond ridiculous. I’m trying to get my head around it now but we all know how incredibly complicated it is.

Science and quantum physics tells us that everything is connected and although it appears we are separate, that is the illusion and we are in fact one body interacting like individual cells in the body of the human race.

Just like the atomic structure of the universe, energy wants to find a state of balance. All chemical elements in our universe try to move to the middle ground so, for instance, an element that has a low atomic number is very unstable (out on the limb of our periodic table) will easily bond with another to form more complex structure and so become more stable. Whereas the elements with high atomic numbers such as uranium, which are also unstable being out on the opposite limb of the table, are trying to break down in order to reach that state of stability and balance which is held by elements such as lead with elemental numbers holding the middle ground. And so our universal order adheres to this way of working, on a general level. Of course there are always exceptions but humans, en masse, do not tend to be exceptional beings as yet, only as individuals. I do, however, hold the belief that we could be.

play for freedomFor the last year or so I have been on a little journey. If you know my writing or my talks, you’ll know I love journeys! Well this one hasn’t taken me much further than the limits of my new homestead, the wonderful Somerset town of Frome.

A few months after moving to Frome I joined the Frome Friends of Palestine (FFoP) and if anyone read my blog following the Gaza march in London you’ll have an idea of how much this has drawn me in and awakened me to the traumas the people of Palestine are suffering under the duress of Israeli governmental law. It is a complex and distressing situation especially for Jews around the world who are not at all connected to this situation but are, by their very nature of being Jewish, feeling either upset or caught up in the fear mongering of Israeli propaganda. It’s this imbalance that I am trying to reconcile.

After the summer, the FFoP embarked on a grand project to help bring the Freedom Theatre of Jenin, in the West Bank, to Frome. The theatre company had written ‘The Siege’ – set in 2002, during the Second Intifada, inside the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem – especially for this tour. We were to be one of 12 destinations on their first ever UK tour and I believe we were the only amateur group acting in conjunction with our local theatre, the Merlin. Although I have never been drawn to the fundraising or organizing side of the Arts I thought it might do me good to join the core group and get really involved.

coexist world 300I am a Jew and being Jewish in these recent times isn’t easy if you are socially and politically aware as I try to be. I have spent many years exploring what it means to be Jewish as a race, as a religion and as a persecuted and nomadic people. It is complex, I can tell you and as a woman who has discarded the religious part of judaism for a more worldly form of spiritual practice having no desire to move to Israel I have never felt more distant from the Jewish aspect of myself. On the other hand it’s not anything I would ever deny, I believe that understanding and owning your heritage is the starting point for your healing journey and that, I feel, is my road to freedom personally and globally.

With the situation in the Middle East growing ever more intense my need to understand what really is going on has reached a point where I found myself joining the Frome Friends of Palestine. This amazing group of people, living in this dynamic and positive Somerset town, really know how to create awareness. In six months I have learned more than I learned in the last 40 years. I have attended some fantastic talks in Frome by Palestinians visiting this country, from people who have been to Palestine and worked as an EAPPI, standing as a witness on the checkpoints in Gaza. This month the group is hosting a talk by lIan Pappé an Israeli historian, who dared to speak out about the injustices in Palestine. Hounded from his job in Haifa, he now heads the European Centre for Palestinian Studies at Exeter University in the UK.

It’s a whirlwind that I have stepped into and it is a constant pull on the heart strings. The deeper my involvement the more painful the journey, but there is no turning back and emotional pain for me has always been a sign that I am on the right path as it is always balanced with emotional bliss; tears of joy and sadness are never far away from each other.

Last month I went on the march for Gaza in London. It was my first march since the anti-war march in 2003. It was a good thing to do, although I didn’t feel hugely excited by the gathering. I sensed I was keeping an aloofness for my own protection both physically and psychologically. However, I was soon found out and whilst the march had reached a standstill, a hand belonging to one of the bystanders on the pavement reached out and literally picked me out of the throng. As I looked round to see who owned the hand that had taken a hold of my arm, I saw an old man who, in a kind and gentle way, was pulling me towards him.