Day 650 – Personality: “mr perfect”

I realize I have been living a personality. To end this polarity game, I forgive it, and correct myself and live the changes: enjoy:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my life and my living must be perfect and clean and neat sort of making myself obsessed with my every move and what goes on inside myself where I get so perky about my mistakes that I forget to live the change and I forget or I suppress my data/elements, and forget to actually correct myself and live the change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a complete personality out of myself where I give into the negative pole by thinking “I can’t be perfect” and “I have to arrange myself”.. with something higher and something more precious and more of value all the time like living in archaic system that is also collapsing at the same time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the positive polarity of this person with how I think I have to improve myself over and over again telling myself to be more of light or more of luminous and more enlighten than anyone else, making myself into this superior hero type that no one can get to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of myself as out of reach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for my childhood dream or fantasy about having the perfect life of infinite limits, that I strive to ever after/present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is not sane or healthy to experience my life as perfect or superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that perfect is superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide these ideas about myself in my secret mind, where I experience backchats and self victimization over not being perfect or living up to my idea of perfect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a idea of being “perfect” and how it must be a like a Hollywood star or a body builder etc, some fabricated robot of mass media that is supposed to be “perfect”, that is projected to be perfect, and lovable, like Brad Pit or Michael Jordan or any other male Idol or star from programming.

When and as I see myself going into stress and commotion/friction over not being Mr. perfect, I stop myself, I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that the road to perfection is long and perhaps not that easy to walk, all the time, and I realize I must allow myself to do mistakes. I can’t learn unless I do some wrongs. I realize that I must use common sense and down to earth principles within this. I realize that perfection can take many years. I commit myself to walk everyday steady and consistent towards perfection. I commit myself to slowing down to be able see myself and to support myself.