Michael Sam and the new America

By Frida Ghitis

Updated 1757 GMT (0157 HKT) February 10, 2014

Chat with us in Facebook Messenger. Find out what's happening in the world as it unfolds.

Photos:Photos: Michael Sam's journey

Michael Sam's journey – Michael Sam, the first openly gay player drafted by the NFL, has told the Canadian Football League's Montreal Alouettes that he is leaving the team. He tweeted Friday, August 14: "The last 12 months have been very difficult for me, to the point where I became concerned with my mental health. Because of this I am going to step away from the game at this time."

Hide Caption

1 of 16

Photos:Photos: Michael Sam's journey

Michael Sam's journey – Sam was selected in February as a celeb competitor on ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" Season 20. He became the third contestant eliminated after dancing with partner Peta Murgatroyd to the song "I'm Not My Father's Son."

Hide Caption

2 of 16

Photos:Photos: Michael Sam's journey

Michael Sam's journey – Michael Sam speaks to reporters September 3, 2014, after practicing at the Dallas Cowboys' headquarters in Irving, Texas. Sam did not make the St. Louis Rams' final 53-man roster, but he was signed by the Cowboys to be on their practice squad. He was later waived from the team.

Hide Caption

3 of 16

Photos:Photos: Michael Sam's journey

Michael Sam's journey – Sam looks on prior to the NFL preseason game between the St. Louis Rams and the Miami Dolphins on August 28, 2014. "The most worthwhile things in life rarely come easy, this is a lesson I've always known," Sam tweeted after the Rams released him. "The journey continues."

Hide Caption

4 of 16

Photos:Photos: Michael Sam's journey

Michael Sam's journey – Sam mocks Johnny Manziel's "money" celebration after sacking the Cleveland Browns quarterback during a preseason game August 23, 2014, in Cleveland. Sam, a defensive end, had three sacks in the preseason.

Hide Caption

5 of 16

Photos:Photos: Michael Sam's journey

Michael Sam's journey – Sam accepts the Arthur Ashe Courage Award during the 2014 ESPYs on July 16. "Great things can happen when you have the courage to be yourself," Sam said while accepting the award, which is given to those who have shown strength in the face of adversity and stood up for their beliefs.

Hide Caption

6 of 16

Photos:Photos: Michael Sam's journey

Michael Sam's journey – Sam and his boyfriend, Vito Cammisano, kiss in San Diego after Sam was drafted on May 10, 2014. Sam was selected by the Rams in the seventh round with the 249th overall pick. Cammisano tweeted a photo of their kiss and said he was "so proud and happy."

Hide Caption

7 of 16

Photos:Photos: Michael Sam's journey

Michael Sam's journey – Sam hoists the Cotton Bowl trophy as the University of Missouri's football team is honored at halftime of a Missouri basketball game February 15, 2014, in Columbia, Missouri. Sam was instrumental in leading the Tigers to a 12-win season, an SEC Eastern Division title and a Cotton Bowl victory over Oklahoma State. He was named to many All-American teams, and he was selected as the SEC's co-defensive player of the year.

Where? Well, if you traveled from the United States to the Netherlands a few years ago, what you saw -- and smelled -- in the streets of ultra-liberal Amsterdam probably shocked you. Young people smoking joints in an open-air café, gay couples holding hands on the streets and people of all ages not batting an eye about any of it gave U.S. visitors a novel and exotic experience.

Back then, the United States and the Netherlands stood on opposite sides of the front line of the social wars. Not anymore. It's not because the Netherlands has changed. It is the United States, the American people, who have changed.

The transformation in U.S. public opinion, increasingly reflected in legislation, has narrowed what was an enormous gap between the two countries. Change is coming at such a fast, accelerating rate that one wonders, is America turning into the Netherlands?

I will save you the trouble of answering. No, but there is no denying there is a visible convergence on key issues.

JUST WATCHED

Will coming out hurt Sam's NFL chances?

MUST WATCH

JUST WATCHED

Watch NFL prospect reveal he's gay

MUST WATCH

Watch NFL prospect reveal he's gay01:38

Frida Ghitis

As a frequent visitor to the Netherlands for many years, I can tell you that the disbelieving questions I used to face about America's puritanism have become much less frequent. (Others, mostly about guns in America, have not abated.)

In the summer of 1998, then-U.S. drug czar Barry McCaffrey triggered an unseemly diplomatic skirmish during a fact-finding visit to the Dutch capital. The four-star general, charged with leading America's war on drugs, tensed up as he saw the smoke wafting out of perfectly legal pot-selling cafes in Amsterdam. He surveyed the permissive drug environment and publicly judged Dutch drug policy an "unmitigated disaster."

Dutch government officials responded with a barrage of statistics to prove the visitor wrong, and coffee shop customers declared McCaffrey had no idea what he was talking about.

The general may have been too focused on the drug situation to notice what was happening on the same-sex marriage front in the Netherlands. Perhaps he would have found that also disastrous. The parliament had just approved an innovative concept of "registered partnerships," allowing couples, gay and straight, to be treated more or less the same as their legally married counterparts.

In the United State then, during the 1990s, the weapon of choice in the Republican arsenal was "family values." The approval of same-sex marriage was about as likely in the United States as, say, Russian President Vladimir Putin officiating a gay wedding in Sochi today.

The 1992 and 1996 Republican conventions, which I attended as part of the CNN team, were choreographed carnivals of anti-gay invective.

In a CNN poll in 1998, a majority said they believed gay people can change their sexual orientation if they chose to do so.

But at the same time, American views were beginning to budge. Just as President Barack Obama's public embrace of same-sex marriage gave a boost to popular support, Bill Clinton sensed an increase in acceptance and tried to propel change with an effort to end the ban on gays in the military.

The reaction would have been laughable had it not been so outrageous. Sam Nunn, then the Democratic chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, toured a submarine, expertly examining the bunks where sailors slept in close quarters. Obviously, the tour indicated, gay men would find the temptation of nearby sailors simply irresistible. Clinton changed course, approved the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy and signed the Defense of Marriage Act, both of which caused enormous injustices, both of which stayed in place until recently.

In 2001, George W. Bush took office, invigorating Republicans. That same year, the Netherlands became the world's first country to legalize same-sex marriage. The day the bill became law, Amsterdam's mayor became a registrar and personally officiated the country's first such wedding.

JUST WATCHED

Obama: Pot not worse than alcohol

MUST WATCH

Despite the head winds, the battle for equal rights has not stopped, not in the United States, not in other corners of the world. As the German philosopher Georg Hegel explained more than 200 years ago, history itself is the progress of the consciousness of freedom.

It can be slowed. It can be delayed. But it cannot be stopped.

Today, America looks like a different country. In fact, in many respects it looks very much like the Netherlands.

Today, a majority of Americans support same-sex marriage, which is legal in 17 states and the District of Columbia. And that majority is sure to continue growing, because the numbers are overwhelming among young people. Even the legalization of marijuana, which is picking up legal support around the country, enjoys majority support.

Does that mean America is becoming more liberal? Not really.

In the Netherlands, the driving philosophy is one of tolerance and compromise. In the United States, the shift reflects a closer alignment with the country's historic embrace of freedom from the government. The "family values" efforts to legislate morality run counter to that libertarian notion of freedom. Liberals have always been more comfortable with the differences between people. And conservatives are increasingly redefining their stance on a number of social issues, concluding that different people can live different lives. The government should not interfere.

There are many other factors, of course. Activists have worked persistently to educate the public. And the entertainment industry has played an important role.

And the changes in America are echoes of a global trend. Secular, affluent countries tend to be more accepting of different lifestyle choices. Homosexuality is gaining acceptance in the West, while it is overwhelmingly condemned in Muslim countries, and in sub-Saharan Africa.

The Western world's attitude toward drugs is changing. "Hard" drugs and addiction are seen more as a disease than a moral failing. Marijuana, once demonized, is increasingly viewed as less harmful than alcohol.

There are many areas in which progressive Western nations, such as the Netherlands, are still sharply different from the United States. Differences over gun policy will likely persist, while views over contentious topics such as the right to die are likely to converge. For America, the driving force behind the transformation is found in a changing definition of the meaning of freedom.