Hi JJ, it’s George Lucas. I just saw the latest trailer and it’s very cool. I changed my mind and I would like to direct the Star Wars.

I can be reached at george@podracing.net if you’d like to talk further.

From: jj@starwars.comTo: george@podracing.netSubject: star wars movie

Hi George. First of all, you do not need to put your email address in the body of the email. By sending the email in the first place, it tells me your email address.

Anyway, while I’m glad you’re excited about the movie, it’s too late for you to direct it. The film is completed.

From: george@podracing.netTo: jj@starwars.comSubject: star wars movie

Hi JJ, good to hear from you! That’s tough news about the film being finished. I was really jazzed about directing it after seeing the trailer. It seems terrific and I’d love to make it.

Feel free to email me at george@podracing.net to figure out how to make this work.

Thanks,
George Lucas
george@podracing.net

From: jj@starwars.comTo: george@podracing.netSubject: star wars movie

Mr. Lucas, there’s nothing to figure out. It’s done. The movie’s done. And it turned out great. At the end of the film it says “directed by J.J. Abrams."

From: george@podracing.netTo: jj@starwars.comSubject: star wars movie

Oh, I see. Well that’s no problem. That directing credit is the sort of thing that can be swapped out with special effects. Do you know special effects? I invented them in 1977 when I directed Star Wars. Perhaps you saw it? It’s a movie.

From: jj@starwars.comTo: george@podracing.netSubject: star wars movie

Yes, I’ve seen Star Wars. It’s one of the most famous films of all time, which is why I was honored when you gave me your blessing to direct The Force Awakens.

From: george@podracing.netTo: jj@starwars.comSubject: star wars movie

What’s that?

From: jj@starwars.comTo: george@podracing.netSubject: star wars movie

It’s the name of Episode 7. "Star Wars: The Force Awakens."

From: george@podracing.netTo: jj@starwars.comSubject: star wars movie

How about “The Star Wars: Check Out All This Sand”? That’s a good title. I should know. I’m the one who came up with titles like “Star Wars” and “Howard The Duck.” Have you seen Howard the Duck?

From: jj@starwars.comTo: george@podracing.netSubject: star wars movie

Yes, George. I’ve seen all your movies.

From: george@podracing.netTo: jj@starwars.comSubject: star wars movie

I am not referring to the movie. I’m talking about my duck named Howard. I haven’t seen him in a while and it’s a shame. I give all my animals jobs here at Skywalker Ranch. Howard is the one who keeps my remote controls organized. I have A LOT of remotes.

Anyway, I’d like a tagliatelle with bolognese sauce, a caesar salad, and an Orangina.