Now that I am on the lookout, it is becoming clear to me that there are an infinite number of things you cannot do on a plane (in case you missed them, here are Volume 1 and Volume 2 of Things You Can't Do on a Plane).

Here are three more things I've recently learned that you cannot do on a plane:

Inhale from an electronic cigarette and then throw bags of snacks at flight attendants. You may not inhale from an electronic cigarette during the flight, nor may you throw bags of peanuts and pretzels at the flight attendants who enforce the ban on inhaling from an electronic cigarette. CONSEQUENCE: You may be "greeted" by FBI agents when your plane lands and arrested and charged with "interference with a flight crew."

Bring a stun gun on board the plane with you. This prohibition applies even if you leave the stun gun behind in the seatback pocket when you deplane. CONSEQUENCE: The FBI and the Transportation Security Administration will very much want to speak with you.

Allow a scorpion to sting one of your passengers mid-flight. This prohibition applies to all airlines, even those that fly to low-scorpion-risk areas such as Alaska Airlines. CONSEQUENCE: 4,000 frequent-flier miles and two round-trip tickets offered to the scorpion attack victim.

Comments

Things You Can't Do on a Plane: Vol. 3

Now that I am on the lookout, it is becoming clear to me that there are an infinite number of things you cannot do on a plane (in case you missed them, here are Volume 1 and Volume 2 of Things You Can't Do on a Plane).

Here are three more things I've recently learned that you cannot do on a plane:

Inhale from an electronic cigarette and then throw bags of snacks at flight attendants. You may not inhale from an electronic cigarette during the flight, nor may you throw bags of peanuts and pretzels at the flight attendants who enforce the ban on inhaling from an electronic cigarette. CONSEQUENCE: You may be "greeted" by FBI agents when your plane lands and arrested and charged with "interference with a flight crew."

Bring a stun gun on board the plane with you. This prohibition applies even if you leave the stun gun behind in the seatback pocket when you deplane. CONSEQUENCE: The FBI and the Transportation Security Administration will very much want to speak with you.

Allow a scorpion to sting one of your passengers mid-flight. This prohibition applies to all airlines, even those that fly to low-scorpion-risk areas such as Alaska Airlines. CONSEQUENCE: 4,000 frequent-flier miles and two round-trip tickets offered to the scorpion attack victim.