Monday, April 27, 2009

It just wouldn’t be the start of a new week without a fresh crisis and for this week they’ve tapped “Swine Flu”. This means we get to spend the next few weeks listening to friends, family, news anchors, and random people on the internet throwing around terms like “pandemic”, “cytokine storm”, “H1N1”, and “type A virus strain”. We even have people recommending wearing masks and/or disposable gloves at work to protect ourselves from this “dangerous outbreak”.

Since what’s fair for the goose is fair for the gander, I’m going to outline my own advice for how a person should deal with this new “threat”.

Don’t be an idiot

That’s it. Playing the percentages, you’ll be fine as long as you’re not doing incredibly stupid things like playing in hog feces or giving big sloppy kisses to people who have bad coughs and runny noses. You’re not going to die. Deal with it.