The 9 Dumbest Reasons To Date Him

Once I dated a guy who was really popular in high school when I was a loser. Except we had graduated five years prior and he lived at home with his parents and refused to get a job because he would rather drive around the cul-de-sac, sip luke-warm malt liquor and listen to shitty mix cds. He called himself a musician.

It was a rebound ego boyfriend, but I didn’t know it at the time. It was a terrible reason to date a guy, and I knew it. We had nothing in common, his breath smelled like Winstons and he liked to collect neon-colored rabbit legs. Did I mention we had nothing in common?

There are plenty of stupid reasons to date a guy. Here are the 9 dumbest:

Look, if y’all at thegloss are going to keep springing Michele Bachmann scaryface pictures on me, I’m gonna have to stop reading. Here I was all enjoying the wonderful slide show saying, “Oh yes, that’s a dumb reason,” and, “Oh my, I have dated a guy just for his looks,” and then “GODDAMMIT MICHELE BACHMANN! You and your eyelashes go SOMEWHERE ELSE!”

It’s just…it’s like a clown jumping out of a closet. Do you want a clown to jump out of a closet at you?

…I need a hug.

Ashley Cardiff

you’re right, no one likes a clown jumping out of a closet. we will TRY and take it easy.