Saturday, January 07, 2017

So I found this "Positive Energy" tea on a clearance shelf at the supermarket last week.

It tastes good but I cannot keep my eyes open after drinking it and I don't think it has improved my positivity.

Of course it's only been three days but, eh.

I have gotten too old to do the resolution thing. I know I will keep up with it a few days or maybe even weeks, but, really, I am who I am. Fat, grouchy, and sleepy. There.

I would like to rev this space up again. I miss it. I guess now that I have some tangible friends I don't need it as much, but still, I miss it. Maybe I can get back in to a weekly groove. LOLOLOL......I guess that could be considered some "positivity".

Anyway.

I am still teaching preschool. The curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to see how this "new" way would turn out and mostly I just wanted to stay with my friends. There is something to said about loving your co-workers. They truly are like a family to me and I just wasn't ready to give that up.

It's weird now.

We went from six to sometimes seven teachers with aides to twelve teachers with aides. Let's just say it's easier for 12-14 women to mesh well than 24. I feel like I went back to high school some days and thats not just because some of these people just graduated from it. I am consistently surprised we are in a church because, it no longer seems like a church. Shouldn't "being kind to others" be a church thing? Yeah. I thought so.

The new building is fantastic as new buildings will be, there is that.

I am at that point again where I need to decide about next year. Should I stay or should I go now? *sing it. you know you want to*

I am feeling the urge to move on. Keep Elizabeth home for fifth grade. *GASP. FIFTH GRADE*. In my mind this looks all wine and roses. We will awaken when we are ready with smiles on our faces. I will make huge breakfasts and we will smile about that too. We will cheerfully open our school books each day (which I keep organized and out of the way) and my daughter will hang on my every word clamoring for more. She will thank me profusely after each lesson that she understands instantaneously, and then we will have a healthy lunch and spend the rest of our afternoon enjoying each other's company getting pedicures or taking meaningful walks. Reality? I wish future seeing was my super power. Then I wonder. Where else will I find another three day a week job with people I love? If I leave and come back I would then be considered a "new employee" and have to do 36 more training hours on top of the 24 we have to do each year. I am still five behind this year and I only have do the 24. That would be, well, pretty damn awful. I seriously should have a doctorate by now with all the freaking training I have done since 2010.

One of the parents told my assistant when dropping her child off late, again, that she was not buying teachers a Christmas gift because she didn't get a Christmas gift for doing her job and maybe she'd pull some cookies off a plate someone else had given her, put them in a baggie and be done with it. The sad thing about this exchange was that she was referring to her older kid's teachers. She thought she was being all funny and cute and didn't even think about US being her preschooler's TEACHERS. It would have been hysterical if it hadn't been so sad.

I did not get two degrees in education for the gifts ya'll, but let me just tell you something from the other side: If you appreciate your child's teacher, say so. How hard would it have been for this woman to pick up a card from Dollar Tree and scratch Thank You on it? Apparently very, but I digress. Your child's teacher is spending her own money on the hot chocolate for the winter unit, the play dough for forming letters, the Christmas/Valentine/Mother's Day/Father's Day gift you received from your child.........fill in the dots, there is so much more. She comes in on her own time to change the bulletin boards (after spending her own money buying the cute things for the bulletin boards). She answers your (usually unnecessary, for Christ's sake read the newsletter) emails while her children need help with their homework. It's a thankless job. Literally. If your four year old has a brand new pair of shoes every week and you are driving a car that cost more than her first house but you can't sign a Christmas card, it really does show that you don't care at all about her or think she is doing a good job with your child. When your teacher feels this, it makes them wonder if they should stay in that job. Your teacher might even quit because she feels she isn't making a difference. If your teacher is making a difference to your child, tell them somehow. Positive feedback is helpful because the paycheck is not.

Part of "new preschool" was that it was to be part of the "elementary school". In the elementary/middle/high school they have a whole club (very exclusive and snotty, just what you would expect from "christian" school) where they bring food in for the teachers each month, buy them all gifts for their birthdays, leave treats in the teacher lounge. The ELEMENTARY/MIDDLE/HIGH SCHOOL teachers love it. Some of my student's parents take part in this. Do you think they do anything like that for preschool? Of course not. I think the message is pretty clear.

I don't work any less during the time I am at that school than any of those teachers. In fact, I think I *might* even work a bit more. Let's see. They get a planning period. I do not. They have time to sit at their desk and send email while their kids do seat work. I do not. They have a chair. I do not. Go ahead and enjoy your cocktail weenies. My assistant will help me up off the floor.

Positive energy tea my ass.

For the record, I kept the beautiful plate her husband forgot with the aforementioned cookies she sent to the party. She has not asked for it back. Yet.

How I Got Here

All my life I thought I'd be the perfect mother. I even majored in it. I aced all the child development classes I took toward my degree in, wait for it, Early Childhood Development and Elementary Education.
And then they were born. First Jacob, who is 8, then Adam, who is 4, and our biggest surprise, Elizabeth who is 2.
As much as I really wanted to be, I am finding out I am no June Cleaver. For starters, The Beav never had a baby sister.