When Angaangaq’s Qilaut sounds,
my heart begins to sing!Prologue Iceland
Angaangaq visited me in a dream last night.
The only thing he said was,
“Do not be afraid.”
Then he quietly danced with his Qilaut in the background,
until, bit by bit,
all the primal fear lost its terror.Day of Silence
“Yook, yook, yook! Hee, hee, hee!”
The musher’s forceful mantra
will resonate within me
forevermore.
Apart from that—silence, vastness, a white yearning.
The journey has begun.
The goal is me.
Will I ever arrive?
Just don’t choke. Stay calm.
Easier said than done.
Beneath me, the sled dances like a wild buck.
Only when I try to match its rhythm,
I relax…
Slowly, my heart becomes lighter!Night of the Wind
Over the fjord, the icy polar night
lays down to sleep.
The wind forcefully shakes the tent.
Its melody makes my eyes very heavy.
The dogs sing
a high-pitched song of freedom.
The hymn of their wild ancestors,
the wolves.
Today, you already know,
that after this day of silence, vastness
and yearning—you are no longer
the same.
And for this reason,
tomorrow, you travel onward…Day of the Ice
I am traveling.
I am floating.
The dream of a journey.
Crystaline blue diamonds of ice
pass by me.
Beautiful enough to make you cry! Like a small
child, I am amazed at the sight of their
beauty and I treasure this
mystical country.
I am not
ashamed of my tears.
I am drawing nearer to my-self.Night of the Polar Bear
Angaangaq connects us to Mother Nature.
He holds a ceremony. We thank
the most powerful predator in the world.
Tomorrow, we are permitted to enter
the Land of the Polar Bear.
This evening, our camp lies at the foot of a great mountain.
It protects us. I am sleeping upon
the oldest slab of earth in the world.
Mother Nature welcomes me with open arms.
Like a baby,
I lay upon her lap; she accepts me
without question and complaint. Carried
by the dogs’ hymns,
I travel deep within the earth.
Is it possible for a 46-year-old to begin a new life?
I will.Day of the Sun
The dark mountain is now shrouded in gold.
Bit by bit, an entire mountain chain
slips from the fog.
My heart shines.
Angaangaq hugs me.
He is always with me, with us all.
“Do you see that beautiful peak?
“Do you feel how high and powerful it is?
“And still, we will leave it behind!”
Sure enough, I had only seen
the sun-drenched peak, not the mountain
emerging from the fog.
Once again, he opened my eyes
inward.Night of the Stars
When you travel with a Shaman,
you must count on anything happening.
The heavens open,
a grandiose spectacle begins.
For starters,
the moon,
then a star,
then the clouds are drawn apart like a curtain.
Northern Lights!
The eskimos say,
that the northern lights are our ancestors and
they are dancing for us.
I close my eyes and
make peace with my forefathers.The Day of the Dogs
Day four on the dogsleds.
The dogs are an elemental force in and of themselves.
They pull us over the ice, deep snow,
stone outcroppings.
You get a feeling for how much
life depends on these tough four-legged ones.
I travel through the past, present and future,
all at the same time.
Time dissolves in the wind,
snow, and perpetual ice. My hand
grazes the ground. I feel like a part
of the great oneness. It is a good feeling.
My head is comfortably clear; my heart is
gently floating. I could travel like this
forever. The warm lights of Ittoqqortoormiit
appear before us. I am looking forward
to a warm shower.
But first, God has a rocky mountain pass
and a snowstorm for us to maneuver.
With the end in sight of their tearing eyes,
our mushers struggle to just short of falling over.
I help as much as I can.
Man and dog are at the end of their rope.
We conquer the rocky plateau and all doubt.
As if by a magicians hand,
the storm blows over and the night is packed
in white cotton and warm stillness.
We have arrived.
I am one with myself.
I am free!Epilogue
As Angaangaq places me
between his Qilauts, the great Cosmos,
something wonderful happens:
He frees my heart,
cleans my mind,
and heals my body.
It is a natural phenomenon:
strong as a whale,
friendly as a seal,
big-hearted as a good uncle.
Thank you Angaangaq!
The ice in my heart
has melted.