Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Answers to the Question

I know I posted the question a few weeks ago, but I've had to really think this one through. However, I haven't gotten much further in my thoughts than when I started. I am going to assume this is because I have never personally dealt with this. The question of course being, why do we return to the abuse.

A recent post from a friend of mine kind of triggered this one because it helped me understand a different part. -Thanks for the comments by the way, I really appreciated them, and found both to be enlightening.-

While I agree with Dan that there is definitely a chemical thing that we overlook and I liked the idea that we as humans take what we like and exaggerate it to the point of it being harmful; I also liked this idea that perhaps self-image has something to do with as well that Erik brought up.

So, I find myself back where I started, because there are so many things to take into account.

Still, I came across another thought about it. Perhaps we return to the abuse because we feel numb to the world? Like I said, this post is triggered by another (which contained this sense of needing to be and feel alive). Perhaps, we as humans, have this deep, innate, unquenchable desire to not just survive, but to live. I have yet to meet a person who likes being in so much routine that their brains go on autopilot and they stop being the individuals they were created to be. Which leads me to believe that maybe, on a subconscious level, we all find ways to keep us from becoming total zombies.

So, am I saying that people enter abusive relationships because they feel like it's the only thing that reminds them they are actually alive? It's plausible, but I can't really say one way or the other because I don't really know. But there is a reason, why can't this be one of them?

Everyone has a reason for the things they do, whether it's to start trouble or run away from it; to overeat or not eat at all; to be around people all the time or to refuse to be around people, etc. There is a reason, and I think that reason is actually a lot of different reasons all wrapped around and intricately woven into each other that they can't be picked apart like twizzler candy.

So, that's about how far my thoughts went on this, even though I spent time trying to get further. I guess this is one of those things where I have to experience it to understand it better (but I don't really want that to be honest).