He also has chronic upper and lower respiratory illness so he does 45mins of meds twice daily.

It does sound like "more" and others with experience in that are responding.

What jumped out at me as I read was the twice a day treatments. When dd was quite small and we were first learning to manage her asthma, she was admitted to the hospital three times. The breathing treatments were much needed but they drove her pulse rate up and her sleep was really impacted. Have you discussed any possible side effects of the treatments and a possible link to sleep disruption? Obviously they're needed meds but perhaps there's an adjustment or something that can offset it if there's a connection.

He needs to get a good physical from his pediatrician, along with standard bloodwork, plus the thyroid stuff mentioned earlier. Other things, like b12 and vitamin d should also be looked at. Start there, and then I would have a behavioral evaluation done by a psychologist after you get those results, if they don't find anything. You said he goes to preschool? How does he do in that group setting?

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Just typing this out and reading it back to myself, it sounds like we have some cracking down to do behaviorally.

.... And the situation with his dad and I was so emotionally ugly I'm afraid to let a counselor in on it. His dad has been home for 6 months now and everything is calm and back to how it was

I also think that would be a disaster.

And it seems you have a lot more going on in your home than just this. Maybe separate issues, maybe not. Kids absorb much more than we think they do or like to believe and they are often not part of the working out and resolving things. I also noticed you are a 'ministry wife'. Be careful that that you don't let that status be part of what keeps you from getting help.

You also mentioned that your son had an illness. That is another reason to start at the pediatricians office. My son's autoimmune condition was triggered by an illness. Also, if autism is a possibility, they can help you find resources to get help.

I would read up on the side effects of his breathing treatments. I know some make for some really hard to deal with kids. Not saying not to provide him with medical care, but that may be part of what is going on.

I hope you find some solutions for sleep and peace in your home.

Since you had someone bring up autism below, I'll let you know that my family is looking into the possibility of my daughter being autistic. So far, the family and friends we've reached out to have been very, very supportive. While we've got a long way to go as a society in making room for neurodiversity, I have been encouraged that we might get less pushback from loved ones than I feared.

.... And the situation with his dad and I was so emotionally ugly I'm afraid to let a counselor in on it. His dad has been home for 6 months now and everything is calm and back to how it was

This is tough stuff but, being afraid to let a counselor in on it isn't good. You need to be vulnerable if your family is going to heal. You do not need to go into any detail here but "back to how it was" means that you're back to how things were before the traumatic event. Which means it could happen again. And your kids know that, at least at some level. For them to feel safe, life cannot go on as if nothing happened.

Again, no need for you to share any details that you don't want to. Just throwing that out there.

Threekids—what melatonin did/do you give him? We’ve been using zarbees brand 1mg chewable. Amazon isn’t showing an extended release option for kids. His Peds pulmo said we could give him up to 6mg. He needs sleep. He has grown Phsyically emotionally since we started melatonin a year ago and he was sleeping better. Since he’s ditched the naps though the lack of sleep is building up again.

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We haven't been using extended release lately. What I had in the medicine cabinet when I first gave it to him, Melatonex, worked awesome, but I'm not even sure it's on the market anymore.

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DS (12), DD (10), DD2 (7)

And my kids were going to behave perfectly all the time and if they didn't, they'd be Dobsoned, but I was going to Dobson so perfectly that they'd know not to slip up but once or twice because I was going to be sooooooo consistent and awesome and wise.

Sounds so rough. You have gotten a lot of good input. I would personally dose him with Benedryl at night to see if that helps him to sleep. While there are other things to investigate and try that might help, if you can get immediate gratification with that then it might reduce some of the sourrounding anxiety. I would not just do that, but worth a try in this.

Having studied pharmacology I feel very comfortable with using a sedating antihistamine to help sleep when needed. As long as you follow dosages on the bottle it is very low risk.

"Take Joy Home, And make a place in thy great heart for her...Joy is the grace we say to God." ~Jean Ingelow~

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Re: 5 year old stays awake

This sounds like my dd2 she would.not.sleep. from 18months to age ....6? Somewhere at 5 it got better at 7 things really turned a corner now at 9 it is just once or twice a month she wakes me.

It wasn't behavioral. it wasn't anything we were doing wrong. I had 2 other kids who had been sleeping through the night for years and There she was waking and waking and waking me up. There was an underlying need.

One thing that really really helped was audio books. She learned to enjoy them and she could listen to them all night long when she couldn't sleep (locked down kindle fire, she couldn't access anything else but audible and it has the blue screen on it so she wasn't looking at blue light in the night turning on her book). I still hear her audio book going some times in the middle of the night.

The other thing was helping heal her gut and lower inflammation, we are still working on

Maybe you are already tried everything, but have you looked into the potential connection of conventional dairy and respiratory issues?

I’m so sorry. You’ve got a lot going on. So many have mentioned autism as a possibility, but you also mentioned ADHD. I would definitely get a physical from your pediatrician and also ask for a referral to a child psychologist. Some psychologists specialize in testing for ADHD and learning disabilities. They could also evaluate him for anxiety and OCD. I’m not sure what kind of resources you have where you live, but I think you need some professional help. At the very least, you’ll have some insight into what is causing these issues.

We had my now 8-year old daughter tested for ADHD about a year ago, and my suspicions were confirmed - she has it. We were referred by the psychologist to an occupational therapist and that evaluation revealed that she also needs OT. Someone mentioned above about the possibility of him being stuck in the fight or flight mode and that’s one of the issues my daughter has. We are finally in the process of getting her on ADHD medication as well as getting the OT she needs. The delay was due to me procrastinating, for several reasons. I know that not everyone will feel this way with a diagnosis, but just knowing that there were legitimate medical/physiological reasons behind some of her issues was such a relief to me.

If side effects of his breathing treatments could be causing his behaviors, or contributing to them, I would guess there may be different medications that treat the same condition. Do you see a pulmonologist? My niece had to have breathing treatments a few times as a toddler and if the doc put her on Prednisone, it totally changed her personality while she was taking it.

Also, a lot of counselors will see patients on a sliding scale, meaning they will work with you to set a fee within your budget. If your family income is under a certain amount, maybe you could qualify for your state’s (assuming you’re in the US) children’s Medicaid program. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I pray you can get the help you all need.

None of my children have needed a nebulizer; is that how the breathing treatments are delivered? Can saline treatments be delivered through a nebulizer? I am not suggesting a neti pot or sinus rinse for a 5-year old, but I will say that my husband has severe seasonal and environmental allergies, and using the NeilMed Sinus Rinse has been extremely helpful for him. So if saline in a nebulizer is a possible treatment for asthma, maybe that could be helpful, with virtually zero side effects.

I wasn’t going to mention it but since you did he sounds just like my son who has autism at that age. The getting up for the day in the middle of the night, the not being able to entertain self, the lack of awareness when someone else is talking or busy, wishing and hoping he would watch tv so my brain could function. And he never let me sleep when he was up either. Mine did start sleeping through the night regularly at 6.5 yo and that continued until about 10 when it got ruined again. We started meds for sleep at that point because melatonin no longer was enough.

If you can give up to 6 mg, maybe try giving him 2-3 chewables as soon as he wakes. Or try the timed release, but I doubt it comes in a chewable.

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Wishing he'd watch TV, I remember those days. I remember telling people I left the TV on all day, but my brain was so fried, I couldn't muster the words "hoping he'd watch it." Who knows what they concluded from that snippet.

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DS (12), DD (10), DD2 (7)

And my kids were going to behave perfectly all the time and if they didn't, they'd be Dobsoned, but I was going to Dobson so perfectly that they'd know not to slip up but once or twice because I was going to be sooooooo consistent and awesome and wise.

A variety of opinions and ideas are shared on GCM. Personal experiences, suggestions, and tips found here are in no way intended to substitute for medical counsel from a healthcare professional. Always use your own good judgement and seek professional advice when in doubt about a health concern.