Also, she’s thinking of moving to Colorado. Told you she was smart. Hope you do, Em — just don’t tell anyone here you’re from California. Could get you shot.

Which reminds me of something I should have done years ago. A list needs to be compiled telling Californians what to do when moving to Colorado.

Here we go.

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1.
Emily

I’ve got a great story about Californicators in Colorado: my aunt decided to sell her house in Bayfield a few years back. As any homeowner looking to sell would, she set the price much, much higher than she expected any person to buy for without haggling, at least a little. Some couple from Southern California, used to the high housing costs of this area, took one look at the house and the price and shouted “sold!” without even checking into the local real estate market. I think she cleared about 50 grand from them.

Maybe it’s immoral to cash in on ignorant stupidity. So what. I hope people like that made more than a few folks in Colorado rich.

I, personally, would prefer that they DO move to Boulder. That way, they get the presence of like minds, and I know where they are and can avoid them.
How did the bumper sticker go?
“If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?”
Heh.
Right on for the rest of the list, though.

This reminds me of years ago (I can say that now, this happened in the late 80s/early 90s) when everyone (hyperbole) had bumper stickers claiming to be “native Californians” and for everyone else to go home.

I know it’s just a joke, but sheesh! I’ve always loved Colorado since my vacationing days as a kid and fancied moving there someday, if possible. One of the reasons was the people, but mostly for the natural surroundings. Any rules about West Virginians?

I always thought how funny it was that the locals toyed with us tourists, but in an open manner that wasn’t degrading. Not at all the treatment I got in Portland, OR.

Technically, Gregg, I’m not “from” California. My dad was in the USAF, so I’ve lived all over the U.S. and Europe. L.A. just happened to be where his orders had landed us when he decided to retire. Pagosa Springs is the only place that we’ve consistently returned to since I was a baby. So my moving there would hardly qualify as “Californication”, especially since I have no intention of being the overbearing urbanite that Mr. Bob speaks of. But I can certainly understand your worries of being overwhelmed by that type of crowd moving in and taking over. I promise I’ll be nice and mindful of local customs and expectations ;).

As a third-generation native Coloradan who spent lots of the 80s and 90s in SoCal, it isn’t urbanites that are the problem. It’s the proliferation of generic suburbs. Pagosa Springs won’t become generic or suburban any time soon.

The “Don’t Californicate” was a popular bumpersticker in the early 70s. I should have guessed that not very many people here would be old enough to remember it.

Besides, if you’re a hawk as you say, you’ll fit right in! Next time you’re in LoDo, I’ll buy you a Fat Tire or other local drnik of choice.

Gregg,
Yeah, I’m pretty confident that the generification of Pagosa into some suburban delightville won’t happen any time soon. It was a momentous occasion a few years back when the town got their first stoplight. Heck, when I was a kid it was a gas station, a diner, and a highway that was used almost exclusively for passing through. All it was missing was a kid on a porch with a banjo whose eyes were a little too close together. It’s bigger now, and growing all the time, but there isn’t really a larger metropolitan area for it to feed off of that would encourage that kind of sprawl. I hope that never changes.

I came from California (5th generation) after the first wave of Texans left, after the oil bust. I got 4 wheel drive, joined the Republican party and the NRA and never used my brakes on ice. They like me now (as well as a former, to-remain-nameless blogger who was born in MO and moved here from….. you guessed it: California) and you can’t make me go back there!

If we have a Colorado style winter this year (please God ,we haven’t had one in about 8 years)most of them will probably clear out.Shovelling 2ft. of snow every 2 days gets really old really fast.Also Mr. California,don’t expect me to show up at your house site to work on a powder day,I’ll be on the first chair to catch first tracks!Think they’ll be able to translate that last sentence Steve?

But seriously Steven. Thank you for posting this little warning. As a native Californian who now lives in Manhattan, I was thinking about moving to Colorado Springs, among many other places. Guess I’ll cross CO off my list.

When I was a kid we used to count antelope on the plains between Monument and Colorado Springs. Those plains are now Glenn Eagle, all the bikers whose kids I grew up with moved and were replaced by Californians. The Dairy Queen I worked at in high school was turned into a Lots of Bagels, the little ranches between Monument and Palmer Lake have been subdivided with tract mansions. My home town is now a “bedroom community.”

–You’ve seen our beaches. You know you want them.
I’ve seen your beaches. North Shore of Hilo please.

–Winter drive in Colorado? Rush hour. Los Angeles. The 405 freeway.
405 in LA most any hour – whats the rush. Sitting in a stationary vehicle -is- an acquired skill I guess.

–Four wheel drive is cool, no matter the circumstances.
Unless the circumstance is them being in the hands of someone that would nearly pass out at the thought of actually taking them off a paved surface, and have no clue what the phrase ‘transaxle’ means. This is usually because they insist on driving them either like a Ford escort, or a ferrari – and badly, at that.

–The smoking ban really was a good idea (except for the smokers). We can breathe now.
You could breath before. Any chance you’ll stop?

–Granted, your weather sucks. You win on that one.
There is absolutely nothing more serene than walking at night in a light snow with low wind…and ya can’t get that without the other. And besides white and snowy is prettier than brown and leafless.

Ah, Will, while I live on the eastern edge of the Denver metro area, Colorado Springs ( just an hour south ) really is a nice little city. Several good bookstores, in fact three of my favorites are all within a block of each other. A great brewpub just three or four blocks further.

Here’s my piece about Denver. I was there about a month ago for a job interview. EVERYONE I met was damned nice, from the staff of the hotel, to the bartenders at the Irish pub, the skip-tracer I had a drink with there, my cabbie (he was damn awesome), the guests at the hotel, the people I met just walking around the Tech Center and saying Hi to them.

The skip-tracer bought me a stout while we told dirty-jokes, the bartender gave me advice on where to eat and an invite to a party he was going to hit later.

The guys at the fabrication shop I stopped by made great conversation, bought me a soda and were pretty nice.

Hell, my cabbie cut my fares, took me to a barbecue the cabbies were having, gave me a Stephen King book for the trip home and a pack of cigs when my tobacco ran out.

And that is the kind of experience I had on a short visit to Denver.
Oh, and I got the job, this time next week I’ll be in Hawai’i and then a short hop to an lil’ atoll.

I’m sure you were referring to late-model SUVs where ABS is probably installed (in which case you’re absolutely right), but older non-ABS cars using 4WD in cases where the center differential is locked (like older Audis or any part-time 4WD setup on a pickup truck) can benefit from it when stopping on ice. A solid or locked center forces the sum of the rear wheel speeds to match the front, which helps in a situation with little longitudinal weight transfer – normally the braking is biased too much towards the fronts, which will tend to lock prematurely.

I usually find VP right on or close to the truth. As a Californian I have to say the humor is wearing thin. Colorado full up? Kidding right? We absorbed more people in the last decade than live in Colorado. There are more people in Los Angeles County than live in Colorado. Colorado is a great State, but its turning into Oregon, a professional wilderness.
Have fun up there.

The place where all this started was Oregon, back in the Tom McCall days. It didn’t work very well–the state is still crawling with Californians, who seem to bring all their problems with them. I don’t think you’re going to have a lot of luck with this.

Think of the ones that actually adjust and live like Coloradans as “refugees”. The others will tire of the weather and move off to the next “in” place.