Stephen Colbert breaks down the terrifying options remaining for the anti-Trump GOP

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Stephen Colbert broke down the state of the presidential race on Wednesday’s Late Show after the latest Super Tuesday. “People were calling it Super Tuesday Part III, and like all sequels, it’s getting predictable and very expensive,” he says in the clip, which starts off, as his clips often do, as a transition through talk about The Bachelor. Once he gets to the campaign talk, he points out that on the Democratic side, Hillary Clinton beat Bernie Sanders in every state, including Florida. “It is just so sad to see Bernie betrayed by the people he most resembles.”

Moving on to “the interesting side,” he reports that Donald Trump won four states, then delivered “a stirring victory tantrum,” in which he complained about the negative press he’s gotten despite how his numbers have risen, saying, “I don’t understand it.” Stephen says, “For once, we agree with you.”

There was one key state that Trump didn’t win. John Kasich won his own state of Ohio, and made the bold claim that he would go all the way to Cleveland and secure the nomination. Colbert has some news for him—”to secure the nomination at the convention in Cleveland this summer, Kasich would have to get 116 percent of the remaining delegates. We’d have to make him governor of every remaining state, plus some states we don’t even have yet,” like North Kentucksylvania and Massachippissippi.

The only option, then, seems to be Ted Cruz. But the idea of a brokered convention appeals to Stephen even more. “The Republican campaign could start all over again, only this time it’s crammed into one week — you can binge-watch the death of the GOP.”

Caleb is the founder of The Lanx. He is a scholar of satire with a Master's focused in satiric rhetoric, propaganda, and political cartoons. He also studied comedy and satire at Second City and UCB. He runs The Lanx from Los Angeles.
calebstenzinger.com

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