Which Sex Position You Should Try, Based on Your Ice Cream Order

Ice cream has a bad penchant for sexual innuendos.

Get Spoon University delivered to you

You tryna be tricky? That email doesn't look right.

By adding your email you agree to get updates about Spoon University Healthier

Sex comes in many different types forms as does ice cream. With summer officially starting, the innuendos of the summer treat will explode in popularity. Not every order is the same nor is every position. I’m sure you can analogize your favorite ice cream order to what you like in the bedroom.

Plain — Missionary

Photo courtesy of Creative Vix on stocksnap.io

It’s a safe choice. You know what you’re expecting. Nothing should surprise you. Missionary is always a safe bet. Both partners know what they’re getting themselves into. Simple and easy.

In a Cup or Bowl — Lotus

Photo by Amelia Weller

Eating ice cream in a cup is always a safe bet. You don’t have to worry about the ice cream’s drip as it being cradled by the cup. Like the lotus, you’re holding your partner closely and intimately, keeping the distance to a minimal.

On a Cone — Standing Up Against the Wall (or Not)

Photo courtesy of Alex Jones on unsplash.com

Ice cream on a cone is definitely a favorite, but you have to be careful not to tip it over or else PLOP. The ice cream falls to the ground. Carrying your partner requires the attention and strength, but you won’t be really thinking about that when you’re in cloud nine.

In a Cup with a Cone — Cowgirl

Photo by Katarina Dioneda

We all know someone that wants a cone but asks for a cup just to be safe. It can be considered indecisive, but why not get the best of both worlds? You’ll get the same feeling when you’re standing up except you’re in the comforts of having something to fall upon.

With Toppings — In Public/Exhibitionism

Photo by Katarina Dioneda

Everyone notices the amount of toppings you put on your ice cream order. Whether it be chocolate chips, caramel syrup, rainbow sprinkles, or a cherry on top, you are going to capture everyone’s attention. If you’re feeling a little daring and flashy, maybe take your private adventures to the next level.

Soft Serve — CAT (Coital Alignment Technique)

Photo by Katarina Dioneda

Like plain and missionary, having a soft serve ice cream is something you know you’re getting. The flavors tend to be chocolate, vanilla, and the mix of both. Sometimes you’ll get some other fun flavors like pineapple or matcha. The only difference is that CAT adds a little more flare to the position. The different angle can really boost the sexy time even if it’s the same relative position.

Popsicle — Oral

Photo by Katarina Dioneda

Fondly used as a sexual innuendo, we are not strangers to the popsicle. A lot different from ice cream, popsicles bring us a different summer treat experience. As does oral. It’s still sex but from a different aspect.

Different Flavored Scoops — Masturbation

Photo courtesy of petradr on stocksnap.io

When you choose different kinds of scoops for your order, you are doing you. Maybe you really want that cheese, chocolate chip mint, and cotton candy mixture. Nobody is stopping you. So why should anyone stop you from pleasuring yourself?