Monday, May 25, 2009

it has been more than a week since i update my album here. i recently surfed lately in night, so gotup later than usual. these days frequent cloudy days, so i can work in open air in my dad's house' front yard for more than 7 hours or so. there r also raining days. last sunset when i sang a love song, it drizzled, from a sunny day. this morning before i gotup it rained and continued since them. i worked in my bedroom under lamp most of the day, busy with fine tuned the background picture of my family twitter accounts, and i think its rewarding. i got break till after 3pm and satisfied. after rested some time i decided to blog it, and update my album with shots, mostly still life in the rain.

those days i also spent lots of time got myself familiar with the expanding service of qq, a domestic mainstream service provider. i also fine tuned my microblog with 3 domestic sp, ie. qq's taotao, jiwai.de, fanfou.com, founding can update all of them via qq's signature. i also setup my cellphone, so as to post on the move, and autopost to other microblog portal, including my twitter.

i do anything under God's guide. still, i got revenge from my nephew, who i love best among the next generation of my old family. i started to comment on his blog at qzone, a service of qq, when he complained pains of losing a love, then he silenced, till recently he practicing in remote province before his graduation. this time he despised love and friendship. i commented that they do exist and should be cherished. i told him he in God's fond. that ignite his revenge. he didn't deleted all posting, but changed his homepage with picture of sword and titled it "killing". i never forget anything i did, but i surely see the gaps between the faith and the person self-contented in material world.

ok, its a peaceful night, and the rain likely stopped. i thank u, Masheng, let me the baptism and time to linger indoor and watch the rain. its really too beautiful.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

bulls on the grass in back of the village

the only pig nearby, eating his own.

drizzle gathered on stone stool.

benzrad, me, pose for a shot.

yesterday is a cloudy day first, i busy with reading and blogging. after noon i quit from notebook and dozed awhile on bed. when i missing years in Nankai Univ., where i met Masheng heavenly, it started to drizzle, out of my surprise. in the night i sms exchanged a lot with a facebook girl friend, who from Guangdong, south China, but now study in Shanghai. it later turned into a loving chase. the rain continued all night. in the mornign today i continued to ask the girl about my love and possible marriage. she defied it. i then sorted my recent photos and video, esp. this morning of the drizzle, online album and locally, till late afternoon. now i was left alone with my cool world of waiting and solitary for the descend of my Japanese fiancee. that's fine.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Best regards,benzradits first version finished years ago. after equipped with xara warez, and lots of fonts, i felt i can improve it with more stunning effect. this morning is a cloudy day in my hometown, where i had spent near a month in it. the task cost me 2 hours or more. i got 2 versions, with which i don't want missing any one. so i uploaded both new versions to my google sites and google groups. blogger.com and blogspot.com still being blocked within China under its surveillance, so i can't update my blogs on google blog portal with the new version.

ok, its a nice silent morning. only i worked in the front yard of my past dad's old house. villagers all busy in field, for rapeseed due to harvest. last night i taught my old mother a lesson, when she in anxious and tried to flatter neighbor wives to eat some shrimp my nephew gave to me. i don't allow others partake my food without my consent. no one in the world can put a finger print on the glory of my dad, or my Royal, under God's shine. later i chatted with my baby, warren zhu, the God of universe, and the hope of China, online. i tried to vendor some kid games on verycd.com but likely baby these days interests on pc games deceased. in the dawn i dreamed of tribes or minorities like Uygur, and the problem to join them or merging them into mine. the unavoidable conflicts including the believes, let any changes hard to born. after woke up, i decided to stay in the faith of one world of God, the Mightiest and the only creator, who never has problem nor difficulty.

last time my baby urged me to return to Qiqihar, where my old social relation still in work. now i have no problem to stay here till end of August this year. its my time to live with Masheng, my second wife and the crowned Queen of my Empire. i also asked girl zhou and girl of Taiwan join my honeymoon this moment. i will see their houses in Wuhan, Beijing, Shanghai, prepared for me soon.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

i had reported the passing granny, Dai in family name, in my previous twitter. yesterday her funeral held by her offspring. granny Dai is the wife of an zhu, who passed earlier than her many years without any child, in the village. she is a short and a bit fat woman, generally hospitable. she and her husband adopted a girl, who married her neighbor in the village, 3th son of a family with 3 sons and a daughter. so all the offspring of her son-in-law and his relatives joined the funeral and mourning as her sons. its in a long time my first time to witness a village funeral, and many moments in the process when i shot photos and videos for the event i preview the funeral of my past dad, whose funeral i missed and never assured all went right. i many times felt would cry but my camera let me engaged. its also likely my first performance in front of my countryside patriots since my falling into madness several years ago, after so many years they seeing me as the gifted and looked up in expectation of achievement, for i was enrolled by a prodigious university, Nankai Univ., in China, first in the history of zhudajiu, my hometown village. nowadays i really in broad view of my world, and devoted to lead God's glory and sovereign on the land, as well as the nation in my coming kingdom of 1109 years. in the days since my return to the village, i really felt my Royal was inspired by the world that belongs to me, not all the folks in the village, for i perceived so many evil eyes and souls in the village, esp. the blood connected pals, who shown lots of hatred toward my past dad and my old family. God surely let anyone has his goal and pleasure of self-realization independently, but leader like my past dad, should not be hated for his brilliance. only ill hearts and hatreds-filled persons can do. i really saw in these days that God's glory is the kind that its perfection never seen before on the earth, its just too perfect to leave any dent of trifle or meaningfulless among men. it lasts every moments and flashs like beam of light, flows across like breeze in a pulse.

half of yesterday was in rain. it started soon after the coffin left the square of the village and after i sorted photos and videos just shot in front yard of my past dad's house, via my notebook and camera. it just so auspicious for me, for i love rain, love baptism, love seeing Masheng rest herself and girl l? in duty in the Sun's setting. i love the constrain rain brings to too bustle persons and ceases to enjoy the superpower of the nature. some women watched my photos, then all cooking utilities moved to my dad's old house, and since them lots of villages busy in the house, cooking, arranging, or watching my works on tv or web in my bedroom.

its a nice day, the daughter-in-law of my elder brother brought her webcam to me and i succeeded to install it. my baby still in these days loathed to talk with me, but i felt i can have more chance to talk with him and his mother online.

ok, below is my works for the funeral, which also reminded me one of my teacher, Daijun (in same family name of the past granny), whose fond on me envied by my alumni including those scores in subjects higher than mine and generally more important in class ( they told me later when i in college, while i never felt the fond when i cramming myself for college entrance exam and in depression), in my senior middle school, Huanggang Middle School.

i had reported the passing granny, Dai in family name, in my previous twitter. yesterday her funeral held by her offspring. granny Dai is the wife of an zhu, who passed earlier than her many years without any child, in the village. she is a short and a bit fat woman, generally hospitable. she and her husband adopted a girl, who married her neighbor in the village, 3th son of a family with 3 sons and a daughter. so all the offspring of her son-in-law and his relatives joined the funeral and mourning as her sons. its in a long time my first time to witness a village funeral, and many moments in the process when i shot photos and videos for the event i preview the funeral of my past dad, whose funeral i missed and never assured all went right. i many times felt would cry but my camera let me engaged. its also likely my first performance in front of my countryside patriots since my falling into madness several years ago, after so many years they seeing me as the gifted and looked up in expectation of achievement, for i was enrolled by a prodigious university, Nankai Univ., in China, first in the history of zhudajiu, my hometown village. nowadays i really in broad view of my world, and devoted to lead God's glory and sovereign on the land, as well as the nation in my coming kingdom of 1109 years. in the days since my return to the village, i really felt my Royal was inspired by the world that belongs to me, not all the folks in the village, for i perceived so many evil eyes and souls in the village, esp. the blood connected pals, who shown lots of hatred toward my past dad and my old family. God surely let anyone has his goal and pleasure of self-realization independently, but leader like my past dad, should not be hated for his brilliance. only ill hearts and hatreds-filled persons can do. i really saw in these days that God's glory is the kind that its perfection never seen before on the earth, its just too perfect to leave any dent of trifle or meaningfulless among men. it lasts every moments and flashs like beam of light, flows across like breeze in a pulse.

half of yesterday was in rain. it started soon after the coffin left the square of the village and after i sorted photos and videos just shot in front yard of my past dad's house, via my notebook and camera. it just so auspicious for me, for i love rain, love baptism, love seeing Masheng rest herself and girl lü in duty in the Sun's setting. i love the constrain rain brings to too bustle persons and ceases to enjoy the superpower of the nature. some women watched my photos, then all cooking utilities moved to my dad's old house, and since them lots of villages busy in the house, cooking, arranging, or watching my works on tv or web in my bedroom.

its a nice day, the daughter-in-law of my elder brother brought her webcam to me and i succeeded to install it. my baby still in these days loathed to talk with me, but i felt i can have more chance to talk with him and his mother online.

ok, below is my works for the funeral, which also reminded me one of my teacher, Daijun (in same family name of the past granny), whose fond on me envied by my alumni including those scores in subjects higher than mine and generally more important in class ( they told me later when i in college, while i never felt the fond when i cramming myself for college entrance exam and in depression), in my senior middle school, Huanggang Middle School.

i had reported the passing granny, Dai in family name, in my previous twitter. yesterday her funeral held by her offspring. granny Dai is the wife of an zhu, who passed earlier than her many years without any child, in the village. she is a short and a bit fat woman, generally hospitable. she and her husband adopted a girl, who married her neighbor in the village, 3th son of a family with 3 sons and a daughter. so all the offspring of her son-in-law and his relatives joined the funeral and mourning as her sons. its in a long time my first time to witness a village funeral, and many moments in the process when i shot photos and videos for the event i preview the funeral of my past dad, whose funeral i missed and never assured all went right. i many times felt would cry but my camera let me engaged. its also likely my first performance in front of my countryside patriots since my falling into madness several years ago, after so many years they seeing me as the gifted and looked up in expectation of achievement, for i was enrolled by a prodigious university, Nankai Univ., in China, first in the history of zhudajiu, my hometown village. nowadays i really in broad view of my world, and devoted to lead God's glory and sovereign on the land, as well as the nation in my coming kingdom of 1109 years. in the days since my return to the village, i really felt my Royal was inspired by the world that belongs to me, not all the folks in the village, for i perceived so many evil eyes and souls in the village, esp. the blood connected pals, who shown lots of hatred toward my past dad and my old family. God surely let anyone has his goal and pleasure of self-realization independently, but leader like my past dad, should not be hated for his brilliance. only ill hearts and hatreds-filled persons can do. i really saw in these days that God's glory is the kind that its perfection never seen before on the earth, its just too perfect to leave any dent of trifle or meaningfulless among men. it lasts every moments and flashs like beam of light, flows across like breeze in a pulse.

half of yesterday was in rain. it started soon after the coffin left the square of the village and after i sorted photos and videos just shot in front yard of my past dad's house, via my notebook and camera. it just so auspicious for me, for i love rain, love baptism, love seeing Masheng rest herself and girl lü in duty in the Sun's setting. i love the constrain rain brings to too bustle persons and ceases to enjoy the superpower of the nature. some women watched my photos, then all cooking utilities moved to my dad's old house, and since them lots of villages busy in the house, cooking, arranging, or watching my works on tv or web in my bedroom.

its a nice day, the daughter-in-law of my elder brother brought her webcam to me and i succeeded to install it. my baby still in these days loathed to talk with me, but i felt i can have more chance to talk with him and his mother online.

ok, below is my works for the funeral, which also reminded me one of my teacher, Daijun (in same family name of the past granny), whose fond on me envied by my alumni including those scores in subjects higher than mine and generally more important in class ( they told me later when i in college, while i never felt the fond when i cramming myself for college entrance exam and in depression), in my senior middle school, Huanggang Middle School.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

it has been days since i returned from Tianzhen, the town my elder sisters, including my most cherished family member, my youngest elder sister, live. the decision to return Zhudajiu, my hometown village, was when i caught sight of the burning sunshine outside of elder sister's house's window, which is rightly my long time dream in Qiqiqhar, northeastern China, and the cause of my hometown journy. another reason is the rain here, so plenty each time it pours and times it occurs. this morning and recent days i reviewed the love from a girl student under family name lǘ (in Chinese the syllabus can also mean rain), when she regularly haunted emakingir's house for English tutorial even her English score quite satisfying in ema's school. she loves me and shown it with her best way she can adopt. she even descended to fight with ema around the table in ema's house to exam if she qualified to win me aside her in her life from my old family. i today learned from holy message that her love to me is true and divined. i would grant her to make ways to reach me and live along me in my life.

that love also remind me a early love occurred in my senior middle school, in a prodigious school, Huanggang middle school, Hubei Prov., central China. a girl always with marvelous scholar scores and frequent the top score owner in our grade, in the same family name lǘ, visited my hometown and slept in our old house a night when we took occasionally, at least for me, the same ship returning our hometown in vacation. i never second time receive the same level of brave a girl can shown upon her beloved. at that time we r in our fifteen's and i never dared to attracted her fond, for in most of my senior middle school years i was depressed by insufficience on score in exams. i don't know the night what happened to her, but she didn't contact me anymore after it, in the rest of our senior middle school years. i missed her very much but never had the confidence to invite her interview with me again. the last time i cared her up in my heart is when i saw she sat with a guy from the same county of hers on the grass in the school in sunset and talked. i then sure i was a loser and i put my long time love for her into death pool. the guy later didn't become her husband, but gracefully and enviable for most Chinese young men migrated into US with a scholar career. he is rightly the man help me get my first domain, be21zh.org, from American domain registrargodaddy.com. while the lǘ, palely settled in a secondary city, Yichang, within Hubei Prov., likely continued to research her major in college, virus. i never had an insight of the life or psychic set of a extradinarily able girl or woman, and also never got insight to the brave and sudden visit she brought to me the quite early year in our youth. she was a puzzle in my life, and i awared it before i first time fell into madness, back to 1999 or so.

its a cool day, after 2 days of first wave of heat in the summer here in Hubei Prov., central China. i enjoyed the dry and solid heat in burning sunshine very much, as i long time expected and the meaning of my hometown journey, the great gift from my Japanese girl and fiancee, Masheng. it started to rain in sunset, a real surprise for me, for it don't usually have too many rains on the latitude in summer. most of my beloved, r strong and powerful girls, i know, and i enjoyed my favored fate with so many beautiful creatures of God, they r in fact one of my wife, but very different facets of one diamond of the most beautiful. they live with strenth in my universe in my shine, all the one and Mightiest God's set.

its now just after noon, and breeze let me glad. with the help of Masheng, i now befriend with wind, esp. breeze. quite some other sounds still kinds of alarms for me, let me in fear of God's rage, or enemies' conspire that can hinder the way toward my Royal or kingdom, but i will live with all power from God, and live in joy forever gradually.

ps: when i posting recent 2 blogs, folks' hatreds arriving, a weeping women came to my old house to tell her being beaten by the same villagers. its all the demons against my Royal, here esp. my past dad, the God. they surely only one way to leak their failure and envies, that's death, sooner or later.

i was asked to visit my elder sisters' home before i arrived my hometown. so, after stayed at hometown village, zhudajiu, for more than a week, i visited Tianzhen, the town i haunted when i studied in junior middle school some mile away, and my past eldest sister lived near the town when then worker class in China society in rural area still domineer and enviable. all my sisters married in the town but i most missing my eldest sister, who once the proud of my old family, and commit suicide by jumping into Changjiang river in a dawn after quarreled with her husband when her 2 children still in their childhood. that's the bravest deed i ever known. so many year i still got courage from her, knowing that one thing anyone can pick, death.

in the week in the town, i slept in my youngest elder sister's house, while went to work online in my second elder sister's house, where evils frequently challenged me. the house owner, my elder sister's husband, a family name ruan (the same syllabus in Chinese can mean soft), just like my baby's grandma, is really a demon, the 2 nephews from the start peeking my life and attempted to mimic me. God knows how they frustrated in the process of stealth and envy.

this week, i almost did what i in view that's important. my sleep was not smooth, for weak sound, like crack or steps around, can woke me up. my elder sisters, as well as their husbands, all in rotation of working time table, cater to the full orders in the cement factory they work for. most of time i was alone slept in the whole house, on second floor. in my hometown village, even more sounds in nights, for the mountains and forest so close, and there r cattle. so i usually listening till mid night exhaust took me into sleep. quite some of them really holy message, God sees my life sounder here in coming months.

its the first morning i returned hometown village from Tianzhen town. last night i listen a lot, and dreamed a lot. i dreamed of God and his way of evolution, from one to 2, to 4, etc. i also felt the perished environment, including the ill will from my mother, my sister-in-law or my eldest brother. i dreamed surveillance in college, and among the students of God message, including that from my blogs. i also know my beloved suffering surveillance exerted by the China authority nowadays.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

my dad's old house had been surrounded by evil minded follower villagers. but the most precious asset, the broad front yard paved by mostly large stones, made by my dad when he worked, is almost intact even the front side sliding under evil power. here is the introduction.

my hometown, Central China, is a rain plenty place. it rained just shown welcome in the first day on my arrival. then drizzled in night. i usually blessed by my God if i was in move by love, or the evils trying to dirt my ground. the rain in my hometown usually heavy, can flow on ground like stream. its so nice to see u again when i m in the first year of my 40s.