Mom Answers

I got engaged to my husband at 18 after being with him for 2 months. We got married in April, baught a house in June and pregnant in July. I was so scared to tell my family but they have been eveything I could ask for and more. Tell them. This is your special time. How can you enjoy being pregnant when you can't share it with the people that matter to you ?? They may be shocked at first but they will get over it. Oh and livivng with your fiance' to me is a god idea. You learn about them better that way and it prepares you for you future with him. Congradulations on you soon to be marriage and soon to be baby. I have 12 weeks left. Enjoy it now because it goes so fast. Only god can judge you, and he isnt going to look down on you for it. It is truely a blessing. Good luck with all your new blessing. Keep smiling.

Of course you should tell them, but the practical quetsion is how. If you do it face-to-face, bring along moral support (your finacee and/or another supporter) so they will be on good behavior. I would also consider sending a letter... you can say things exactly how you want to and it gives them time to adjust before a face-to-face.

I'm in a very similar situation. I am 21 and my husband and I eloped because I can't stand the pressure that I get from my family. They don't know that we are married and now I am pregnant. In reality I could have been pregnant before we were married but I found out about 3 weeks later and it's so close, I really have no way of knowing. I know that it is best for me to tell my parents everything, and I think that John and I being married is going to hurt them pretty badly, and the worst part is... that I still have the other news to tell them. I am happy that I am pregnant, I already love this little baby, it's just that my family has a way of making me feel ashamed for anything that I do. To them I think that I am pretty much a screw up. And I'm an only child... go figure. Reading your story has made realize that I need to be brave like you. Good luck!

Jennifer-
Before my husband and I got married, we were living together. Although (just like yours) my family was not very happy with this. When they found out that we were pregnant, it was a celebration, rather than a disaster. I will assure you... the life of a child is something to celebrate. Your family should realize that it is already on the way and there is nothing you can do to turn back time, so why not embrace and celebrate this wonderful time rather than disown or criticize. Remember, you need to stay as 'stress-free' as possible assuming that 'over-stress' may harm and even kill your child. I wish you the best of luck, and dont worry, Im sure everything will turn out perfect.

You will have to tell them eventually, so why not as soon as possible. You are supposed to enjoy every second of being pregnant, and the moment after you told them, even if they are not happy, you will start enjoying your pregnancy 100%. I also went trough the same thing, and after a week or so my mom started shopping for the baby! Good luck!

my parents were in the same situation - they didn't say anything until i was born! but the love they will feel for the little one will most likely overshadow their concerns for your spiritual safety. dont let it get to you too much - relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

I'm in the same situation you're in. My brother thought it would be a good idea for me to tell my dad that I'm pregnant. He thought dad would be happy to know that he's going to be a grandfather. Dad's old fashioned, you know, be married before pregnancy, NOT the other way around! Needless to say, I told him, and he didn't sound too happy. I think if I wasn't as far along as I am (at the time I was about twenty weeks or so), he would've suggested terminating. I think not! I'm totally blessed to be pregnant, considering the complications I've had in the past, and the age I'm at (forty years old in one week!) My best friend thinks dad would now think that "Hey! I'm going to be a granddad now! I'm happy she told me!" I hope he's thinking like that! My fiance and I are still planning on getting married soon (which probably can't be soon enough for my dad!) What does your gut feelings say? I felt guilty for not saying anything to my dad, but now that I've told him, I feel a whole lot better! You know that we shouldn't be stressing out, simply because the baby will be stressing too! I hope some of this will help you out! Good luck and God Bless y'all!

Hi Jennifer,
My younger sister, who's in her mid 20's, still in graduate school and not married or engaged, just found out she's pregnant. We both come from a very Catholic upbringing and she was very hesitant to tell my parents about the pregnancy. She told them, however, and they were much more supportive than she had imagined. They are very happy that she decided to keep the baby and have offered her all kinds of support. My advice to you is to go for it - you'll feel much better getting it off your chest (which is less stress for you and the baby!) and you might be pleasantly surprised by their reaction. Best of luck!

my husband and i got engaged on my birthday and three weeks later uhhh well we found out we were pregnant. funny enough it seems i turned 26, got engaged and got pregnant all in the same day...tee hee. Well as excited as i was , iwas still afraid to tell our collective parents. When we finally bit the bullet, they were excited but the first thing out of both moms mouths was..."you are not waiting until next year to get married, you are going to give that baby a name." This actually worked for me because i gained so much weight during the pregnancy that it took me nearly two years to lose the weight and i would not have been happy getting married at my post pregnancy weight. Let your fears about the religous aspect be between you ,God and the confessional...but when it comes to your parents, tell them, weather the storm, point out that you are dealing with or have dealt with the religous aspects of this and that all they need to do now is sit back and get excited that soon they will be able to spoil their Grandchild, after all theirs is not to judge, and the deed is done now and pregnancy before marriage is alot better than the "fix it" alternative.
I hope this helps and if not from them , from me
CONGRATULATIONS!

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