Hold Your Horses

I’ll get a new post out soon…I’ve got 2 or 3 in the works right now. However, I’ve been butt-ass busy with work, and haven’t had time to get them finished, so sit tight for now. It may be after Christmas. I’ll leave you with this one little nugget, however:

Another Tale from the Mall

One night I was working alone in the ice cream spot, making home-made waffle cones and burning my fingers on the blazing hot waffle iron. This enormous woman waddled up to the counter and stared at the menu for about 5 minutes. After Orca’s cousin looked over every item we offered, she asked “Can I have a chili dog?” Chili dogs aren’t on the menu, and I told her that. Free Willy’s twin said (in a huffy voice) “Well, can’t you just get me a hot dog and put chili on it? Seems like that would be a chili dog.”

I did her one better.

I reached down into the cooler where we kept our persihable items, grabbed a foot long hotdog from its tray with my bare hand, waved it in front of her and said “Is THIS chilly enough for you?” From the look on her face, you’d’ve thought that I slapped her thigh and tried to ride the wave in to her crotch.

Orca: “I want to see your manager!” I heard that a lot.
Me: “Yes Ma’am, I’ll go get her.”

I got Kake, who agreed with the manatee that I was rude and would be punished, which was bullshit. I was indispensible, and there was no way I would accept any punishment. When the sea cow left, Kake sighed.

Kake: “Why can’t you just give them what they want?”
Me: “Because they’re stupid, and ask for stupid things.”