I departed from O’hare international airport for my vacation to Orlando Florida just the other week and my experience with the TSA was one that I will not forget. I decided to chronicle the events so that everyone in the world will know what people are put through when traveling to or from Chicago, so here we go.

After getting our tickets from a very difficult to use kiosk my girlfriend and I got in line at the TSA checkpoint. Although I was very excited for a very well deserved vacation this was something I had been dreading for weeks. We got in line behind about 100-150 people, the line was surrounded by TSA employees, and covered with cameras with a sign every few feet with the classic DHS catchphrase “If you see something, say something”. I found it very funny that they post these signs everywhere, but if I was to point out the molestation and irradiating of human beings in front of the TSA, I probably wouldn’t be making my flight.

We slowly moved through the line like cattle would wait their turn to get an air bolt shot into their skulls while awkwardly trying not to look nervous and angry, since being nervous or angry is what a terrorist would do from the perspective of these power hungry tyrants.

We finally got to the end of the line where we had to take off our shoes, belts and take everything out of our pockets all to be put into a plastic tote, a process I Imagine would be similar to being checked into prison. There was a sign telling us that if you are over 75, then you don’t have to do these things. I attempted to try to cut through the tension caused by knowing we were about to get frisked down by jokingly asking to my girlfriend “What if your 74?”. Ironically, about five minutes after I said this we watched a very elderly gentlemen get harassed and witness a TSA agent roll their eyes at him for not wanting to take his shoes or belt off, my guess he was 74.

We got to the naked body scanner where we were waved to walk through when my girlfriend confidently told them we were both opting out. “WE GOT TWO OPT OUTS!” The woman yelled…[Continue Reading]