3 Benefits of Slipping on Your Goals

By this time of the year most people will have already abandoned their New Year’s resolutions. After trying for a few weeks, it’s easy to feel discourage and lose faith that change will happen. We quickly tell ourselves, “I guess I’ll just have to try again next year.” Or, “I knew there was no way I could have done ‘x’. I guess I’ll never achieve this goal.”

It’s natural to think of giving up after a few weeks of failing at your goals. But, relapsing can actually help you to be more successful the next time.

I know what you’re going through. No matter my intentions, I find it tough to start a new habit even when the new habit is positive and beneficial to my life. It always takes me a few attempts before it becomes a regular part of my daily or weekly routine. Writing more regularly, exercising more frequently, avoiding junk foods, flossing daily… the list goes on and on.

And like everyone else, I also get discouraged and doubt that I can even achieve the goal in the first place. But the truth is, failing to stick to our resolutions or goals can actually help us be more successful the next time around.

Relapse is a part of change

We often use the term ‘relapse’ to refer to a sudden return to addictive substance use. But the term ‘relapse’ is also used to describe a return to a previous state; a return to how things were before the new behaviour entered our lives.

What a lot of people don’t know is that relapse is a part of change. Regardless of what you are looking to change in your life, it’s not unusual to lapse and get out of your routine. Slipping back into an old bad habit after you’ve stopped for a long time, or slipping and stopping what you’ve recently started, is a part of the change process.

Here are three ways you in which your relapse, or slip, can help you with your goal :

A relapse increases knowledge of personal triggers. One of the benefits of having a relapse or slip is that we gain more knowledge about ourselves and our triggers. What triggered your slip? Was it a person or a place? Was it a particular crisis? With this knowledge, you can start to prepare for future temptations and further success. By identifying your triggers and challenges, you are more likely to overcome them the next time around.

A relapse forces you to develop better strategies. What will you do when you are tempted to go back to your old ways? It’s bound to happen, especially early on in your new behaviour. Having a relapse makes you re-examine how you’re handling these temptations. Maybe it’s finding a new support system. Maybe it’s about taking a much-needed break or vacation. Maybe you need to start changing the self-talk that leads to bad choices. Whatever the case, a relapse can help you refine strategies for sticking to the new habit.

A relapse forces you to re-examine your motivation and reasons for change. Another positive aspect of a relapse is that it provides an opportunity to reflect and remind yourself of why you want to change. Often times, our reasons for change can fade from consciousness, especially after a slip or relapse. The self-reflection that can come from relapse also teaches what is stopping us from succeeding at our new goal.

When we are trying to change something within us, it’s difficult to achieve perfection the first time around. The important point to remember is that when you slip and go back to an old behaviour, there are important lessons your slip can tell you about the journey you’re on.

Just remember that lapsing can be an important part of change. As some people in Alcoholics Anonymous will say, “With every slip, you’re one step closer to recovery.”

Hoping this piece of psychology helps you with your goals.

What’s something you’ve tried to change in yourself? What did you learn when you slipped and missed your mark?

About the Author

I am a psychologist in private practice with offices in Markham and Whitby, Ontario, Canada. I work with a range of issues, such as trauma, addiction, anger, anxiety, depression, and stress. I'm still trying to find my voice as a writer, so feel free to let me know about some topics you might like to read about. Please note that the information on my site is not a replacement for psychological advice. Also, subscribing to my blog does not make you my client, and we have not entered into a professional relationship. But, it does make you a really cool person.

Disclaimer:

Please keep in mind that the information on this site is not a replacement for professional psychological services. It is for informational purposes only. If you are concerned about how your emotional or mental health, please contact a mental health professional (psychotherapist or psychologist) for a consultation.