An astonishing 4.5 million adult children live at home with their parents across the UK. That makes the Hotel of Mum & Dad a huge part of life in modern Britain, with deep implications for parents and children alike. Check in below to find out more

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Sky-high property prices and eye-watering rents are forcing cash-strapped kids back into their parents' homes, unleashing all sorts of consequences - some good, some not so welcome.

Are you running your own Hotel of Mum & Dad? Are you staying in one, or planning to check-in soon? Check out our suite of useful tools and read expert commentary on how to make living under one roof a 5-star experience for all concerned.

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At every Hotel of Mum & Dad, there are a number of fixed costs and a number of optional extras. So if you want to work out the size of a bill at your Hotel of Mum & Dad, whether you're the manager or a guest, put your details into our calculator.

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The fixed costs

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The final bill

Itemised bill

How we worked this out

Running a Hotel of Mum & Dad? Staying in one as a guest? To work how much it's costing you, or to find out how much you are saving compared to what you'd pay elsewhere, choose the appropriate calculator above.

We've taken the main fixed accommodation costs into account and worked out how much they will increase, on average, when a child returns to the nest. If you're a parent, tell us how much rent - if any - you charge for a stay at your hotel. If you're a guest, tell us how much you're paying.

§ Source: MSM data looking at enquiries to add an additional person on the same account. Where the age difference is greater than 16 years between the policy holder and the youngest driver and where the youngest driver is between 20 and 30

§ Average increase per year = 348.98. So divide this by 12 to get result.

Petrol allowance:

o £15.21 / person / month

§ Source: DFT and MSE data looking at average cost of petrol (129.4p), average miles travelled / month (583m) and average miles to the gallon (47m) ( DFT )

The psychology behind The Hotel of Mum and Dad

Dr Michael Muthukrishna

As parents, we might summarise our role as the three Ps: To Protect, to Provide, and to Prepare. But when our children face an ever-changing, more complex and more challenging world than we faced, how do we prepare our children so that they can provide for and protect themselves? And what happens when life happens, and they need to return home?

There is a clear trend of adult children moving back in with their parents to save money, at the expense of their privacy and independence.

At an individual level, these decisions are often made with changing life circumstances - health, divorce, losing a job, increases in rent, conflict with flatmates and so on. But there are often broader societal trends underlying these decisions.

The first is a long term trend that has affected humans since the beginning of our species - what scientists call our 'extended juvenile period'.

Every profession now has to deal with new technologies and more complex systems. This has resulted in us spending more time in education, particularly on-the-job education (e.g. internships, junior roles and lower paid apprenticeships), meaning it now takes more time before we're earning enough to support a family, buy a house and become self-sufficient.

It used to be that a high school diploma was enough to make a good living. Then it took a university degree or a short apprenticeship. Now it requires post-graduate degrees, internships and volunteer work - which can be unpaid - as well as on-the-job training.

This has meant that the age of first birth, the age of owning a home and the age of financial independence have been steadily rising. As a result, when the last two generations did finally leave home, they often found themselves needing to return, especially if they were unable to share costs with a partner or group of friends.

The second trend is more recent. Economic growth has slowed, yet wealth and income inequality has risen. In combination, this means there's less to go around per person and of what is there, a greater share has gone to the top end of society.

This means it's becoming more difficult for people to purchase a home and become self-sufficient than it was for their parents, or even those born a couple of decades earlier.

These are real problems with not-so-simple solutions.

However, it can be hard to see an adult child return home in less than ideal circumstances, especially after two decades of interrupted sleep, changing nappies helping with homework, giving them lifts from event to event, dealing with the ups and downs of friendships and first romantic relationships, and celebrating the joys, achievements, graduations and first jobs.

For children too, this is often not a preferred situation. They are trading their independence and privacy for financial savings and perhaps some home cooking and laundry.

There are no one-size-fits-all solutions on how to handle the new situation, but it may be worth noting a few things in moving toward a more open discussion:

Emotions such as pride and sense of self-worth are affected on both sides - A child in their ability to handle the world as their parents did, and a parent in whether they properly prepared their children for the world. These may lead to important discussions, but it's important to remember that the world is more competitive for young adults than ever before.

Different societies and different cultures have different expectations for independence - In many so-called WEIRD (Western Educated Industrialised Rich Democratic) societies, young adults are expected to live alone or apart from their parents. However, in many other societies, unmarried children live with their respective parents until marriage and then married couples live with or near their husband (patrilocal) or wife's (matrilocal) parents. It may be that our society is moving toward these other norms.

There are pros and cons for both parents and children that vary from family to family, and circumstances outside of the family also affect emotions and mental health - In discussing how long the arrangement will last and how to keep both parties happy, it's worth remembering the costs and benefits to both parties. On both sides, this can come in the form of increased support at home, the joy of being closer to loved ones and perhaps access to grandchildren, versus the loss of privacy, increased workload, reduced living space and financial costs. An honest conversation can help prevent problems from surfacing in less ideal ways.

Thankfully, many parents have been willing to help their children reduce their expenses by moving back home - even though research has shown the tensions over how much children should be contributing in rent and expenses, and the mismatch in expectations between parents and children.

Hopefully, even if the returns to parents aren't immediately monetary, they find that their children do eventually become financially self-sufficient and perhaps return the favour as they grow older.

Dr Michael Muthukrishna

Dr Michael Muthukrishna is an Assistant Professor of Economic Psychology at the London School of Economics. Other affiliations include Research Associate of the Department of Human Evolutionary Biology at Harvard University, Affiliate of the Yale Applied Cooperation Team, Affiliate of the Developmental Economics Group at STICERD, and Technical Director of The Database of Religious History.

His research focuses on answering three broad questions: Why are humans so different to other animals? What are the psychological and evolutionary processes that underlie culture and how is culture transmitted, maintained, and modified? How can the answers to these questions be used to tackle some of the challenges we face as a species?

He uses the "Theory of Human Behaviour" to tackle a variety of related topics, including innovation, corruption, the rise of large-scale cooperation, and the navigation of cross-cultural differences. More information on his research can be found here.

Rob and Lianne - Romford

Rob:

"My partner Lianne and I moved back into her parents' house in Romford in our late twenties. We were fed up with shelling out for the expensive rent in our West London property, while trying to get a deposit together for our first home. We found ourselves struggling to save money even though we were sharing the two bed flat with another roommate. Renting put a huge strain on our finances, particularly as Lianne was still at medical school with only loans and savings from when she'd previously been working.

"House prices were spiralling at the time and, even though both of our parents were incredibly supportive, they weren't in a position to take care of the deposit situation - the bulk had to come from our own savings. So, Lianne's parents were very open to the idea of us moving in. They understood it wouldn't be forever and they wanted to be as helpful as possible in order for us to save.

"We discussed contributing to rent when we first moved in, but Lianne's parents decided not to charge us any, which was extremely generous of them. As a way to show our appreciation, we would take them out for nice dinners and help around the house with cleaning etc., while still managing to save a substantial amount. We took care of our own food, but Lianne's parents did cook the occasional dinner every now and then. They also did our laundry for us, which was not only really useful, but also helped to keep costs down.

"Our commutes were longer and as a result cost more money, but this was a sacrifice we were willing to make. Even though we didn't have much control over the TV (Lianne's dad is a massive football fan!), getting to come home to a warm, proper family home each night made it worth it. And, after nine months, we had managed to save enough for a deposit on our own place, just down the road."

Lianne's parents:

"We always knew that we wanted to help out where we could. We had the space and were keen to help our daughter and her husband to save for a deposit. It never impacted on our lifestyle because they were both so easy to get on with and we all understood when to give each other space.

"Although there was some financial cost to us, such as heating facilities and additional laundry loads, we fully understood the help that was needed for them to save. It's just so difficult to get on the property ladder any other way and we have actually done the same for our other two children, who also came back home to live with their respective partners. We have always felt close to our children and would do it all again if we had to. Lianne and Rob now have a nice house, which we like to think we helped them secure!

"We never felt they were overstaying their welcome, as we discussed parameters at the beginning and knew more or less when they would move out. Privacy was also never really an issue for us as we had space in our rooms if needed.

"In this financial climate, particularly in and around London and being unable to help financially with a lump sum for a deposit, this was our present - and it seems to have worked!"

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