Storming stories: My stand affects others and I can change that!

I came back to work this week, after a week of sunny, warm and lovely days with family in Florida.

Once at work, I noticed that my mood has changed a little bit, moving quickly from excitement to some kind of sadness, which happened quite fast.

Self-awareness in action

The good news is that I was able to feel that my mood changed, the bad news is when I am in that particular mood (that I have named “Pedro el Juez, or Peter the Judge”) I see the world less positive, more chaotic and without possibilities.

Storming story

To make it worst, I asked one of my team mates (another Agility Enabler) to be part of a meeting he would have with one of our teams, just to observe the dynamics and see him in action in front of the team.

Once in the meeting, “Peter the Judge” put his lenses on me and I passed the time I have spent in the meeting analyzing and writing down notes to “Judge” what my colleague and his team were doing, with my “impartial” and “neutral” lenses.

Once the meeting was done, without asking my colleague’s permission, I asked him If I (“Peter the Judge”), could share him some feedback about how the meeting went in my opinion and given that I left him out of choices, he said yes to my request. Here it comes the worst part when I put all my strength to make him feel that he wasn’t doing things the “right way” or should I say my way instead to be really fair.

The Impact of my stand on others

My colleague was devastated, I could see it on his eyes, confused after my message and the way I delivered it to him. And I felt really bad but it was done.

Recovering back, I can change that!

Once at home, I sent him a message apologizing from what I did, and asking him to forgive me for being that way with him and promising him and myself, that I would keep working to be better at that.

The day after, I took the following actions, to make amends and prove them and myself, that I could be the leader that my colleagues deserve:

Actively listening my colleagues and let them talk, because I felt sometimes it is too much of myself on every conversation and what I really want is for others to have a voice.

Stay curious and try to learn more from others, so then we can co-create things together.

Ask colleagues for feedback about me enable them to be at their best.

Work hard to find ways to deal with judgement and avoid trying to compensate by controlling others to do/act in the way I think is the right way.

Help others to be at their best.

Be more compassionate with myself and others.

Trans-forming though of the week

What would be different at work if as a leader, instead of judging people we listen more actively to them?

How people’s environment would be?

What would it take for you to be more aware of your mood changes at the work place and how that would impact others around you?

What’s the name of your Judger? mine is Peter.

Call toaction

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Support my writing by: getting a copy of my book Forming Agile Teams or encourage me to keep writing the second workbook of the Agile teams from forming to performing series called “Storming Agile Teams” or get a copy of one of minibooks (Lift off Agile Teams – The team’s transformation process or Agile Teams – Improvement tools and exercises)