Monday, 7 August 2017

Dear Owls, mentors

Dear Owls,

I'm waiting for something to happen. However, I'm not even sure what I'm waiting for. So, my heart keeps pounding, expecting something to magically appear, expecting something to sidetrack me. I think, medically speaking, this is called anxiety. But in a less dramatic sense, I think it's just boredom. I'm tired of this routine, but at the same time- I'm trying to set a routine.

I read a quote today and I'd like to share it, because it hit home.

Perhaps the reason I can't break my nasty habits of being extremely inactive and overthinking about every possible thing is because I can't envision a better use for my time. What if I've taken a liking towards my sluggish obsessive behavior because it entails that I cannot fail, because I haven't tried? What a foolish life to follow.

One of my favorite vloggers on YouTube, Thomas Frank, (click the link, provided for your convenience) is also one of the most productive young adults of our time. I watch his videos some nights and wonder if I'll ever have the same motivation he does. Will I ever read as many books or create an 'Impossible list' like his.

This year, I've been stuck one idea, and it's gobbled my mind up silly - Who is my role model? I've met different people say their fashion role model was Kylie Jenner, or that their humanitarian role model was Sandra Bullock. So... who's mine? My whole life, I was afraid of copying others. Always worried that I wouldn't have individuality because I'd be following someone else's steps. But, recently, I list the greatest leaders in my head over and over thinking, even they had role models. It took me forever to look this up, but I really wanted to know which great people were mentored by other great people. For the longest while, I didn't know how to phrase that on Google! Alas, thanks to Technology, the list was found and I have never been happier.

What I found changed my perception greatly. One of my favorite inspirations mentored another worldwide inspiration. Maya Angelo, my favorite poet of yet mentored Oprah Winfrey. “She was there for me always, guiding me through some of the most important years of my life,” Winfrey said. “Mentors are important and I don’t think anybody makes it in the world without some form of mentorship,” she added. (Link to List)

My favorite Maya Angelo poem:

I wonder who my role model is. And I wonder if I'll ever be lucky enough to find a mentor that I can learn from. It took me 20 years to accept that it's okay to have a role model and mentor.. I wonder how long it will take for me to ask for one. I imagine that requires an insane amount of humbleness and courage. Not to mention, knowing what to ask a mentor for.