The first blog by a British prisoner. Variously described as being "obviously extremely intelligent" (Michael Gove MP), "full of shit" (Mark Leach) and a "fully paid up member of the awkward squad" (Parole Board), I try to generate debate around the moral and political nexus that is imprisonment. Imprisoned between ages 14 to 47, released on Licence in August 2012

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Night Terrors

Having been a Good Boy and not been near a spliff in years, on my arrival in Leyhill in 2004 I decided to treat myself. I finally discovered that it is possible to get so stoned that any further inebriation is impossible.

Having fallen asleep, I awoke in the early hours needing to pee. This being Leyhill, I could open my door and stagger down the corridor to the loo. Prison loos are communal affairs, more akin to a Roman Bathhouse. A large, tiled room with urinals on one wall, closets along another, showers on the third, and rows of sinks filling the middle of the room.

Positioning myself at a urinal, I gripped myself firmly, rested my forehead on the wall, and let fly. Drifting in and out of sleep, I forced my eyes open. The room was only partly lit, the corridor light bouncing round the tiles.
Focusing on the wall inches from my face as a point of reference to aid stability, an image struck the corner of my eye. Freezing my eyes at dead-ahead, I took a long pause to translate what I thought I had seen into some sensible context.

Why was a woman standing in the corner of our prisons toilet at 3 a.m.? Nearly naked, one hand on her hip, black stockings, suspenders, tiny knickers and a push-up bra. Yummy.

I stood at the urinal, struggling to put all of this in order. Should I say anything? Would it be rude of me not to say hello? I decided it was perhaps best if I pretended not to have seen anything, and slowly found my way back to bed.

Staggering out of my cell the next morning, I found that some wag had propped up a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Kylie Minogue in the loo. I nicked it.

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About Me

Previously known as "one of Britain's best known prisoners...he constantly questions authority and exposes the futility of the system" The Times, I was finally released from prison after 32 years in August 2012. Pleading guilty to the murder of a friend when I was 14 years old, I renounced violence and fought for the recognition of the inherent dignity of all human beings.
As a result of speaking truth to power, I has served far longer than the recommended 10 years, leading Education Secretary Michael Gove to argue that I "has been punished excessively for a crime committed as a child".
One of the more intellectual of prisoner-campaigners, Ben chose to educate himself from a schoolboy level to having both undergraduate and post graduate degrees. He is currently one of very few prisoners in Britain ever to attempt a Doctorate. Ben's speciality is non-violent action and the Human Needs Theory.
Now on Life Licence, I am forging a career as a CJ policy consultant, writer and - as ever - campaigner.