An old soul finding her place in life through honesty, humor and photography.

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I thought I’d be something more successful by now. I’ve mentioned this before but bear with me, I’ve got a different point today. I’m not unsuccessful; I’m just not what I want to be, professionally and maybe a little personally. I’ll be twenty-nine soon, and not that it’s the end of the world and not that I’ll have a little “almost thirty” or “twenty-nine forever” crisis but damn it, I can if I want to.

When I was in high school all my teachers from math to gym said I would be the next Katie Couric. That’s when Katie was unstoppable and on the Today Show. That is also when I respected the Today Show and before Kathie Lee had anything to do with it, and before I started to see through major media outlets. I never felt like my supporters were blowing smoke up my rear and I felt like I had such a bright future. I had talent and I had zero fear to stop me from getting where I wanted to be. I also had a psychic who told me I’d work for the BBC. Well, reality took over and I was too levelheaded to take a career with so much risk. Fine, I’m ok with that because it’s not like I tried and didn’t succeed. I just didn’t try. Eck, not much better.

I also thought I’d be a mom by now, and more than to just my pug. It’s pretty common for my generation that I’m not one at this age, and most of my friends aren’t moms yet but by the end of the year I’ll have been married five years, so the clock seems a little different to me. I’m not waiting to meet Mr. Right. I already found him. “Oh, you have plenty of time” they say. “Why are you rushing things? There’s so much life ahead of you.” Really? Do these particular people, who are almost everyone, by the way, really believe that there is always plenty of time? Did they not just tell me how fast time goes and how they can’t believe this, that or the other never happened or happened too fast? Don’t lie to me, Continue reading →

There are a handful of people in my life that spend a lot of time in their inbox. And I find that I am both grateful and disgruntled about it. Without their masses of forwards, between jokes and news, I would probably be less informed and have less giggles each day. I’d also have less email anxiety. Each time I check my mail, I think how many things I already haven’t read. It makes me uncomfortable and irritated. I just don’t have the time to get through them all and I don’t want my email to consume my life; too many other things do already.

The worst part is the sheer laziness of my habits when it comes to these emails. Let me just say for the record, that if a forward has a link on it, and it requires me to click further to get to the point of the email; it’s not happening. That would require a few seconds for something to load. If pictures are embedded in the email, sure, I’ll scroll through. Powerpoint, websites with pop-ups, dealing with a PDF and then having acrobat constantly requiring me to update and every website asking me for me sign up to view the complete story, no thank you. Give me the story, pictures and/or video now, on this current screen or we’re through.

One day, six month from now, I will realize the magnitude of emails cluttering my life and I will go through and delete them all. And I will feel bad about it. For now, I will fool myself into believing that later I will check the twenty or so videos that were forwarded to me on a daily basis. Not at work of course. My phone will buzz throughout the day and I’ll check my email and there it is; something that will have to wait till I get home. I’m certainly not going to sit at my desk and load it at work. I will keep it for later and never touch it. Instead I will scroll past it regularly while I’ll look for the one email of importance I’ve gotten in the last couple weeks.

I should feel that I can just delete when a subject line doesn’t interest me. But in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “What if they ask me about that story about the monkey experiment, or the cargo ship of Chinese goods??” So I keep them. I tell myself I will check them later. For the record though, they have asked and I’m not a good liar, so I stumble through with, “Oh wow, I know, crazy right?”

Sometimes I want to live off the grid. Other times I want to slap myself for whining about getting email; particularly because I know I’ll be annoyed if I’m not getting any too. I’d be mortified if my emailers read this, it’s not personal; it’s just overwhelming. What a spoiled, technology brat I’ve become. I also didn’t realize how much aggression this caused. Whew, I sort of feel better.