I had a whole list of “Ways To Improve The Oscars Telecast” written up, which included UFC-style ring girls for every category, WWE-style promo videos for each actor, and Truckasaurus, but now I’m worried that they may fall on deaf ears as it turns out Sunday’s Oscars telecast was the most watched in 14 years. Nearly 44 million viewers tuned in to watch a charming lesbian hand out awards to male models for pretending to have AIDs.

…the Oscars capped off the week in a big way as the Ellen DeGeneres-hosted kudocast drew the best numbers for any entertainment telecast this season (13.1/33 in 18-49, 43.74m) — rising vs. last year across the board and hitting a 14-year high in total viewers. The last non-sports program to draw a larger overall audience was the finale of NBC’s “Friends” in May 2004. [Variety]

The only real differences I can see between this year’s telecast and past years was that it was hosted by a comedian with years of experience handling a live audience, and compared to last year, it didn’t start of with 10 minutes of musical numbers. It also aired about a week later than it normally does. Was it the Leto bump? Hell, I don’t know. I just hope they don’t take an “if it ain’t broke” approach to next year’s show, because I could do with a lot fewer ambiguously-themed movie montages, introductory speeches about “unsung heroes” and “triumphs of the human spirit,” and especially, musical performances by Bono. In fact, next year they should just put Bono in a dunking booth and the winners all get five throws.

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I don’t watch it often, but I did this year. Partially because there were a lot of movies I actually enjoyed nominated for things, and partially because it was like -10 degrees and I wasn’t going ANYWHERE.

I watched it because I was stuck in an airport hotel with an overnight flight delay, but I probably would have anyway because I actually saw some of the movies that were nominated.
Remember the year the Artist won? Yeah, I didn’t see that show.