My toddler copies her big brother all the time. How can I help her to be her own person?

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Children learn by modelling themselves on others. For your toddler, this often involves imitation, especially of people she looks up to and loves, such as big brothers and sisters.

This is a valuable part of your toddler's development, and helps her to understand how she can have different relationships with different people. Varied relationships with close family and friends help her to build her sense of self.

You can encourage your daughter's individuality by noticing and commenting when she does something original. A comment such as, "Wow, I didn’t know you could do that all by yourself," will emphasise her personality and independence.

You can also help your toddler to think independently by offering her simple choices. Try asking her to choose between two snacks or afternoon activities. She may find this tricky at first, but she will gradually become more confident at making her own decisions.

If you are upset by a type of behaviour that your toddler is picking up from your son, such as bad language or toilet jokes, talk to your son. You'll have a better chance of getting him to change his behaviour around his sister, than you will of stopping your daughter copying her brother.

Last reviewed: August 2013

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Comments

When I took my 7 year old daughter to school , my 21 month old was trying to be like her .I mean , like she was trying to go in the class, I had to entice her
to come home with me by telling her i'll give her a sweet

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