I'm Becky - a Northern Virginian who dreams of the country but could never *really* be far from a city. Minimalist. Yoga and nail polish lover. Bookworm. Miscarriage Survivor. Infertility Warrior. Prefers Etsy over the mall. Crazy in love with my husband. Inspired by living simply and intentionally. Firm believer in finding joy in life's little moments. Welcome!

Apr 22, 2015

You are not alone

This year's theme is "you are not alone," and it couldn't be more fitting.

Infertility is the most isolating thing I've ever dealt with.

There are women who dream of being a mom from the time they are little girls - I wasn't one of them. I love kids, but I wanted to spend time with my husband first, and let the kids come later, so we could have a good foundation for them - I knew children would be awesome, but challenging. I never thought that would start with getting pregnant.

You start "trying" to get pregnant and you let yourself dream of ways you'll announce the news to your families - even after a few months of nothing happening you don't get discouraged because it's such a "natural" thing. The word natural is a word that starts to taunt you; once you realize there's something wrong and you work up the nerve to see a specialist, you start to notice all the pregnant women and babies around you - and wonder why you couldn't just get pregnant naturally. You start wondering if all your talk of wanting to wait is now coming back as some kind of punishment, or if there's something unnatural about you.

Then comes the testing, and the decisions about how to proceed, and on top of all of that, the financial aspect, which is the #1 barrier to people being able to start a family.

Then, THEN, when you're finally ready to let go of the idea of having a baby naturally, and embrace medicine and procedures, you enter a whole new world of doubt and fear. There's medicine and shots, chances of over stimulation, monitoring appointments, blood draws, and the infamous "two-week wait," which feels like it takes years. All of this to hear it didn't work, or you're pregnant but your numbers aren't where they should be, and you find yourself headed in for a d&c - yet another procedure you never thought you'd experience.

You cry, you scream, and you lose hope more times than you can count. You listen to people tell you to relax, it will "just happen," and you want to punch them in the face. You feel lost, and confused, and like you're the only person who has ever had to deal with this.

But you are not alone.

Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples, which means someone you know (maybe even in your closest group of friends) is suffering from this disease as well.

Without Resolve, I truly would be lost. As much as there is being done,
there are still so many who don't recognize infertility as a disease - if you'd like to help change that find out more about what you can do here.

I'm so glad that you found resolve and while I hate that you and Ben are part of that 1 in 8 statistic, I really love that you have shared your experiences because I know you are touching others and making them feel less alone.

Ditto to everything Lisa said, while I hate that you and Ben have to be one of those 1 in 8 couples I am so happy you have found an organization that makes you feel supported and like you aren't alone. I have definitely learned A LOT the last few years after watching a couple of friends deal with infertility, especially about things that are actually really insensitive to say -- like asking people when they are planning on starting a family. I NEVER do that anymore because for all I know they could have been trying for awhile...

Thanks for sharing such inspirational, informative and wonderful posts about infertility. xoxo

Great post and yes I lament all of the comments above. RESOLVE is such an amazing resource of hope and support. More so people like you who are talking about your journey and taking those emotional bruises and turning them into something more... awareness, support and hope for others.