Why?

It’s the question I find my mind asking again and again. Just plain “Why?”

Why is my life so hard? Why is my day filled with so many struggles? Why can’t I attain all those things I aspire for? Why don’t I have the special children that I see others have? Why don’t I have their money, and why don’t have their happiness? Why?

And I’ve heard the common answer to this question (after all, it really does boil down to one question): “You have the life that you’re meant to have. It’s the perfect life for you. The pleasure and joy that you see by others are good for them and only for them. Every day in your life is a day that is tailored just for you.”

While this answer to some degree counteracts the thoughts of “life is not fair,” it doesn’t give me a sense of happiness. I’m not feeling very grateful about “my tailored life”. As much as I believe that this life is perfect for me, I still wish that I had a life that was tailored just for me without pain and struggles. And as much as I know that the joy that I see by others is not meant for me, I still think: “If I was only them then a life of joy and happiness would be a life that was meant just for me.”

And as long as I’m not happy and grateful with my life, I still wake up every morning asking again: Why? This question seems to be here to stay.

And then it hit me. If I am so insistent on asking why, then go full throttle and ask why about every part of my life. I’m going to ask this question from morning to night!

As I open my eyes each morning and ask: Why did I wake up this morning? What did I do to deserve another day on this world?

As I sit up in my bed and stretch my hands I ask: Why was I given a body that can move so freely?

As I wash my hands I ask: Why was I given the privilege to be part of the chosen nation? Why was I given a healthy heart that beats on its own? Why was I given healthy lungs that allow me to breathe so freely? Why was I given healthy kidneys that forever clean all blood in my body? Why was I given a family to love? Why?

And as I started to ask the question “why” to all the facets of my life, I actually started to feel a newfound sense of happiness. I started to feel grateful. And most of all I started to feel so loved. Loved by my Creator. All the thousands of underserving gifts I experience each day feel like the deepest expressions of love from my loving Father.

I'm starting to realize that the life and love He gives me demonstrates that He really wants me in His world. And then I start to ask again: Why? Why would the Creator of the entire universe want me, small me, to be a part of His great world?

And the answer is startling in its simplicity: Because He believes in me.

And the least I can do is live life embracing every challenge and blessing, accepting every struggle and gift with pride and joy.

The article was interesting but odd. How do you tell an abused woman who lives in a nightmare that her day was tailored for her? How can she be grateful for this? Rather, who is going to help her get out alive? HaShem planned something else for her until someone human got in their way.

Anonymous,
June 3, 2019 11:26 AM

To commenter #6 anonymous

Sometimes the very painful answer to that question is that we don't know. In the case of an abused woman, there are many societal reasons why the abuse takes place. However, for her the crucial issue is to figure a way out and to live a better life.

(5)
Anonymous,
April 1, 2019 10:38 AM

Why.....

Thank you for stating so simply 'why' I should feel grateful for my life and all the bountiful gifts that HaShem showers upon me and my loved ones. It is easy to forget our blessings, and difficult to remember that we deserve this life and to take the opportunity to make the world a better place. Thank you.

(4)
Jaya,
April 1, 2019 8:58 AM

Why do I have all I have !!

Wow ! I often had these thoughts , what did I do to deserve such a great father , such awesome children and so on ....!
And here is a well written article that gives wings to my fleeting ,emotions ,and thoughts !
Thank you so much .

(3)
Anonymous,
March 31, 2019 8:06 PM

amazing! So honest and real!

(2)
Dvirah,
March 31, 2019 4:44 PM

Turning Questions into Blessings

Choosing to ask positive questions (why do I have this good thing? rather than why do I have this problem?) turns grumbles into blessings. Yashir Ko'ach!