What To Say

June 18th, 2015 at 07:12 pm

I have not posted in quite some time but have continue to lurk around the pages..............

Anyway, I am in need of some advice. I just found out that a male cousin in his early 40s has stage 4 cancer. He had stage 1 10 years ago but it has returned with a vengeance. He is married (wife about 10 years older) and 4 children from 11-17 years of age. His wife has not worked for a long time. I am not super close with them but am worried about the family's emotional and financial future after he is gone. I do not know the current state of their finances other than they own a home and are making payments. They look OK from the surface. I am trying to think of how to broach the subject of finances with the family which I think should be done before he declines to a point where he cannot provide information or his opinion. I cannot speak to his mother (my aunt) because frankly, I think she is odd. She would think I am trying to butt into their personal affairs. I have spoken to the wife in the past about general savings principles -- couponing, free stuff for kids to do in their area, etc. One of my brother is closer to him, and he may try to broach the subject. But how do you? I do not want to butt in, but I do not want them to end up in foreclosure, etc. I just want to try to help her find out what she may be entitled to -- life insurance, social security, etc. and try to get as much done as possible now so when something happens the transition will be least be less painful on the financial side.

3 Responses to “What To Say”

I think pretty much what you've said here is fine. You just want the best for them and have some financial knowledge which could possibly be very helpful. Better to try and sort things out now because there will be no energy later and there will be much more important things to deal with - nobody would want to have to deal with finances when they are trying to savour every last minute with their loved ones. Best of luck to you and sorry for the sad news.

I think unfortunately there is not a lot that can be done. If life insurance is not already in place it will not be an option. As to social security, if he passes I would make sure they are aware of and take care of any benefits due to them, but would not bring up until that time. (I don't know that there is anything to do ahead of time on that?)

I would ask her if they have a will and if her name is on all the accounts. That's probably the most useful advice at this point. On the possibility that she will be open to it. If not, you don't have to bring it up again.

I just had a client pass from a 10-year battle with cancer and he had not put his wife's name on his accounts or otherwise taken care of his affairs. Just horrible that his young wife has to deal with all that now. But I think he came from a place of denial or not wanting to face it. I don't know that anyone would have convinced him otherwise. No one would do that to their loved ones if they really understood what they were doing. In the midst of grieving and caring for young kids she has to deal with all this hassle and red tape just to get to her assets.

Thank you for the comments. It sounds like that there is little or no life insurance. He is under treatment and doing as well as expected. More news when MRIs are done. So far he is utilizing his sick time and will be on disability soon. There is a mortgage on the home but I believe that there is some equity. She is aware of SS benefits for the kids if needed. There is more drama to the situation than first known. I did send her an email to contact me if she wishes. So we will see.....

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