The narwhal. Monodon monoceros. The unicorn of the sea.

According to science, these Arctic porpoises have two teeth. In males, the more prominent of the two teeth grows into a swordlike, spiral tusk up to 2.7 metres long. Though endearing and the source of their renown, the narwhal's ivory tusk tooth pierces through its black, molten, rubber lip and for what purpose? If you were to ask science, it would tell you that it is not certain. "Some believe it is prominent in mating rituals, perhaps used to impress females or to battle rival suitors," is what science would say.

Okie dokie. But science, what about female narwhals? Don't tell me that female narwhals have their tusks--the essence of narwhaldom--withheld?

"Females sometimes grow a small tusk of their own, but it does not become as prominent as the male's," says science.

Oh patriarchy, do you have no sense of decency, sir? You couldn't spare the narwhals from your malignancy?

As disturbing as it may be to learn that the patriarchy's gone so far as to rob female narwhals of their tusks, there is something you can do to help: attend LadyFest 2016.

LadyFest 2016 is a week-long (September 12th to 18th) comedy festival in Montreal that aims to celebrate the plethora of female comedians whether they do sketch, stand-up, improv, etc. Because like narwhals, female comedians have the misfortune of being second-guessed on their ability simply because their tusks aren’t as prominent as their male counterparts…like tusk-size has ever been an indicator of comedic ability anyways…

So whether you're sick and tired of women in comedy being second guessed simply because of their sex or you can't bear the thought of nice narwhals that never hurt anyone ever making 70 cents on the dollar simply because their tusks are smaller, attend a LadyFest show, any LadyFest show, and we'll be one step closer to dismantling the patriarchy.