Call Me Eulogy Girl

I don’t mean to brag or anything, but 2011 has already been a flurry of snowflakes, sympathy extending, and funerals. It’s true. I’ve got snow up to my eyeballs. And here’s the latest tally of sympathy cards that Polly, my mail lady, has taken from my mailbox and delivered to infinity and beyond so far this year: one to Gail whose dad made the Great Escape , one to Linda whose mom snuck out, one to Donna whose mom recently joined the heavenly host, one to Carrie for her dad, one to John for his mom, one to Tim for his wife, one to Laury for her dog, one to Michelle for her granny, and one to Cami for her mom-in-law. That’s a whole lot of sympathy for these decidedly divine departures. And that’s just the beginning. I have a prayer list covering all fifty pages of my heavyweight glitter construction paper pack:

I like to write my prayer list on glitter paper because it fancies things up, the heavenly host works faster with glitter prayers, and when I’m done praying it’s fun to see where the glitter ends up. You can’t believe where the glitter ends up.

Anyway, in addition to sending out nine sympathy cards, I’ve also attended four funerals. At one January funeral, I sat near the back of the church….

I was thrilled when the lady next to me finally spoke up and said, “Do you see that attractive family of boys a few rows up?” I nodded like a bobble head. “Do you know who they are?” she asked. “Yes,” I whispered excitedly, “I don’t know anybody else here, and I didn’t know the person who died, but I sure know who they are. Those are my people. I’m here for them. That’s who I’m supporting. You can call me Eulogy Girl.” I just love it when you get to tell someone at a funeral who you are supporting. It feels so mutually supportive.

So all these funerals got me thinking about Harold and Maude. Remember the movie where Harold, a teenager, meets and falls in love with 79-year-old Maude, because they keep running into each other at the funerals of total strangers?

I’m not saying I’m going to start attending funerals of total strangers, but it sure makes everybody feel better when a funeral is well attended. Even in death, people want to be loved and popular. They want everybody to come to their last party. Joyce loves a good funeral party and her motto, as always, is the more the merrier. We certainly rocked the house at The Bobster’s funeral after party. We even danced to Brown Sugar.

Do you remember what Maude sang to Harold?

Kind of a practical life philosophy if you ask me. And truth be told, that Maude is a charmer. A delightful, funeral attending charmer. And maybe that’s something to aspire to.

Responses

Many years ago, my Mother was concerned that not many people would attend my Grandpa’s funeral because he wasn’t a churchgoin’ man and not too friendly to his neighbors. So she starte d attending every funeral in the county or as she put it, “building up credit” so they’d all turn out for Grandpa. Standing room only that cold day in December.