Ask Miss Bee: Sex and The Solo Cruise

Ask Miss Bee is Girls Who Travel’s resident sex columnist. Do you have a question about love, sex or dating abroad? Ask her anonymously here!

Dear Miss Bee,

I recently went through a breakup and to celebrate the newly single life I booked a solo cruise for the new year! Ideally I’d like to have any pointers for a solo cruising, but also how do I find someone to hook up with? Any pointers?

-Captain Shipwrecked

Dear Captain Shipwrecked,

Congratulations on your breakup! When breakups happen it is usually for the best. So although it may seem rough right now, know it was ultimately for the best. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt – so great decision to go on a trip! I find reaching a new destination to be therapeutic and amazing overall and one of my personal favorite solo travel things to do is cruise!

I went on my first solo cruise two weeks after my 21st birthday, I was single, going through a work crisis, but ready for adventure. Not only did my first solo cruise include buckets of alcohol to celebrate my 21st birthday, it also included making friends, and some cruise bucket list items I made for myself.

So let’s dive right in to the exciting life of cruising solo, while you are single!

Now, the key to hooking up on a cruise is to establish boundaries.. Cruises tend to be filled with alcohol and a vibe of being free, and so it is very important you know yourself. Establishing boundaries is also knowing when you do not want to be with a specific person. If someone is not your type, or you just aren’t interested, do not allow them to bully you into giving them a chance. No means no. As much fun as it is being reckless, it’s not especially fun when you’re all alone and don’t have your friends to back you up. So by knowing your limits will improve your safety, and also not wake up with any regrets.

Next, what are you looking for? You are newly single, taking life by the horns – so what do you expect to find from this solo adventure? A sense of independence? Liberation? Perhaps to splurge on your sexy side and do the things you couldn’t while you were in a committed relationship. Are you trying to find yourself, or get lost within yourself, and take a break from reality? This is a bigger question than you may even realize, because perhaps your mind is on one path, while your heart is on another. A personal favorite article I enjoy is from the Girls Who Travel site “5 REASONS YOU SHOULD TRAVEL SOLO AT LEAST ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.” I think this article may give quite a few ideas and maybe help you realize why you want to go. Is your soul hungry for adventure? Or is it just your libido is hungry for some action. Figure it out!

Cruising as an adult is literally the best thing ever. Why? Because of alcohol! That’s why! On my cruise with Norwegian cruise line I was lucky enough to have the free(ish) alcohol package upgrade. For $140 I received 7 days with unlimited alcohol. One thing I learned about being a solo traveler is you must rely on yourself. When you are traveling solo you do not have your best friend to hold your hair while you puke, or your mom to watch your bag while you jump on a ride, or anyone to watch your drink when you run into the bathroom. So something important to note when enjoying specialty drinks and not worrying about your wallet, please know your limits. The last thing needed is blacking out, forgetting, or vomiting.

On my first cruise I made the mistake of not packing things that can nurse a hangover and ended up begging a Canadian hero for some Tylenol. So know, packing the right items is also top on your list. Girl listen, if you have plans of having sex please pack your own condoms and oral dams. The last thing you need after your vacation is an uncomfortable itch from the guy you referred to as “Abs”. A few other must haves – medication, tampons/pads, spanx, sexy underwear. I’d also recommend sexy outfits since ships tend to have clubs, which leads me to the next point. How do you meet people?

When people ask me how was I able to survive going on a solo cruise and not knowing anyone. But here’s the thing – it really doesn’t matter if you’re introverted or extroverted, what’s important is you take that leap! Join the game! Jump in the hot tub! Kiss the boy you’re dancing with! My last solo cruise I met people in line waiting to get on the boat, I met people by the pool, I met people in line getting food, the clubs! Everywhere! But some cruise lines tend to have special programs for solo riders. When I went on Norwegian there was always someone to have dinner with, see a show, grab a drink…there was never a dull moment! What I loved most about solo traveling is that there tended to be someone who worked aboard who helped with icebreakers for the ones who didn’t really talk much. My current upcoming solo cruise I actually found a Facebook group of all the same people cruising with me, and hey guess who’s going to be hosting a pub crawl dressed as a banana? (Me!) So check out social media sites such as Facebook or Cruise Critic…or just say hi on the boat!