I'm an entrepreneur, angel investor, venture capitalist, author and philanthropist. Most recently, I am the founder of Grow America, an organization dedicated to helping business builders nationwide and worldwide. I have an MBA and forty years of business experience as a CEO. I have launched ten companies. Four were failures. MarketStar, Island Park Investments and Mercato Partners are home runs. I currently have sixty investments in emerging start up firms. I know how to launch, grow and sell a business. I write columns on a range of entrepreneurial topics to teach and guide visionaries to realize their business dreams. I am passionate about building strong corporate cultures and coaching the next generation of exceptional leaders.

9 Things A Boss Should Never Say To An Employee

Editor’s note: Given the overwhelming response to this topic, I have now posted Part 2: I Work for A Jerk-What Can I Do?You can find that article here.

There’s been a fair amount of discussion recently in the media on the worst communication mistakes employees make, and the negative comments employees should never say to a boss. This week, I’d like to turn the tables. There are likewise expressions a manager should never proclaim to an employee. Today’s article will benefit all thoughtful bosses and be a reminder of good management principles as well. Based on the comments I have received from both managers and employees, combined with a report from U.S. News, here’s my own list of things a supervisor should never say to an employee.

#1 Don’t Say -“I pay your salary. You have to do what I say”. This statement is dictatorial. Threats and power plays are not the way to inspire loyalty or great performance from the individual workers. Great executives lead by inspiring, teaching, encouraging, and even serving their employees. Good leaders do not need to threaten.

#2 Don’t Say -“You are very lucky to receive this bonus.Other companies are only giving their staff a frozen turkey”. A wise boss recognizes it’s his employees that produce profits and is never condescending to them. A bright manager should always be happy to reward industrious employees who contribute to the well being of an organization.

#3 Don’t Say -“I was here late last night, and on Saturday morning.Where were you?” Expressing veiled pressure that an employee should be on duty 24/7 is erroneous and a sure path to dissatisfaction and low morale for workers. Just because a manager works seven days a week doesn’t mean that faithful employees should do the same.

#4 Don’t Say – “You should stay here because we won’t discriminate against you for being a woman”.This insensitive remark was delivered to a female executive by her boss; an exemplary woman who had been the recent recipient of a Women in Technology award. She left this thoughtless supervisor and is now embarking on a new career path after serving as a regional sales lead and general manager of one of the nation’s largest telecomm firms. A great boss will never discriminate, and will never make an employee feel vulnerable, directly or indirectly, as the result of their gender, religious or political affiliation or race. Behavior such as this, if not illegal, is boorish.

#5 Don’t Say – “We’ve got to cut costs” (at the same time the manager is buying a new desk). When times are difficult, employees respect supervisors who are empathetic to the challenges employees must face. They resent any leader who lives a different standard. In challenging times, managers should lead by example.

#6 Don’t Say – “I don’t want to listen to your complaints”. As a boss you should actively seek feedback, even negative comments. I suggest a leader listen with an open mind and fully consider an employee’s issues. Even in the case of a problem that can’t be helped, allowing an employee to vent for even a minute or two can go a long way toward building loyalty and high morale.

#7 Don’t Say – “We’ve always done it this way”. This statement is a sure way to squash innovation. A better statement is to ask “What do you suggest we do to improve?” In all likelihood, employees do know what can and should be done to enhance any task. Our job as managers is to encourage workers to find creative solutions to age old problems and to reward them for their clear thinking.

#8 Don’t Say – “You’re doing a terrible job”. Managers need to communicate expectations clearly. They should give employees the resources, budgets, deadlines, training and support they need to complete an assignment with distinction. Managers should ask workers to repeat the instructions they receive to insure they fully understand the assigned tasks. If employees make repeated mistakes, perhaps the task doesn’t match the employee’s competency or they have been given unclear instructions.

#9 Don’t Say - “You’re stupid, the worst (expletive) worker ever”. Anger, profanity and belittling are a spear through an employee’s heart. Bosses should behave with civility and professionalism. A fellow Forbes columnist noted recently that while it is inadvisable for a boss to swear in front of an employee, it is absolutely unacceptable to swear at an employee.

In summary, a great manager should keep his or her word and strive to set a good example. A good boss will praise in public and if a constructive reprimand is necessary, provide it sparingly, privately, and with benevolence. Allowing failure is a key of true delegation. Lessons are learned from missed goals. Learn to listen, and when employees provide feedback, do your best to consider their thoughts with an open mind. If leaders follow these points, they will experience loyal and engaged employees who truly enjoy their assignments and contribute to the well being of the organization.

Are there other statements you would like to add to this list? If so, you can reach me at @AskAlanEHall. Thanks for reading.

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I’ve tested my boss (CFO) by asking if he considers that I could be a CEO. He said honestly I don’t think so. I always repeat my employees that they can be what they want. I’d wish to have same coming out from my boss.

Tomasz – I am curious if you asked that boss to elaborate specifically why he didn’t see you as potential CEO material, and what skills he might have felt you would need to attain. That conversation might be a very interesting one and helpful as to where the gaps in your desires and his perception lie, and whether there are any things within your power to change or improve in the situation that might also help to change his perception of you, or whether the situation is indeed a lost cause. Food for thought. And thanks for your note! Regards, Alan

Current structure of majority of large firms today, in the pugilistic world, destined to succeed had submitted to the three benches of leadership realms. The mid bench not to exclude the CEO and his staff is where all your arguments below apply, i.e. empowerment through inspiration, leading by example, servant leadership, etc. etc.. I see this imperative and necessary for a company to truly flourish. The lowest bench which includes ordinary employees is where your argument will never apply. You don’t need to inspire ordinary people/employee in order for things to be delivered since that is already happening on the mid bench. What you only need to do is pay them to get things done and for this reason they are hired. If they refused, you replaced them with someone else willing to do the work, thus, the connotation. Employees who are not happy dealing with this means they don’t belong in this class and are bound to come up one class higher. The highest bench of leadership is where I am not free to speak for I don’t want to be shot by the head. I presume you knew what I’m talking about. :)

I am saddened and shocked at what many have written and the reality that it is even necessary to point out many of the phrases above. Clearly, many leaders entering the workforce appear to be missing a critical element in their education.

Have we truly failed them that badly?

Online or off, we are social beings. Since the first person ran down a trail to share a message such as, “A tiger is coming!” our survival has been intimately engaged with our ability to effectively communicate.

A leader without this important ‘survival’ skill—especially in these times—is a tragedy waiting to happen.

Loved this article. You would think it wouldn’t need to be written, but this stuff still happens. I once had an HR Director say to me “don’t ____ with the person who signs your paycheck (implying himself)”. I NEVER forgot that comment.