LiveToFightInc - Good luck and have the best time!! I find there were a few types of guys when I was rolling. 1. awesome, helpful guys (usually higher belts) who I loved rolling with. We would go back and forth, and they would let me work, not just suffocate me. That way you actually learn. 2. bigger guys who just used their weight and strength. Just suffocate me. Bc there was no way they were getting subbed by a 105 lb chick.

Damn it, I miss training, can't wait to get back into it!

Good luck lady, oh and be prepared to have your hair ripped out. I wore mine in a huge bun on my head, samurai style. Found that was better than a braid or a Faber rows.

(1) White belt is the belt of "defense." While you can and should certainly learn sweeps, subs, etc. as they're taught, your primary focus should instead be to "survive." It's less glamorous, but it's reality. Learn how to position your body so you can keep breathing no matter what position you're in. Learn what to do with your hands/arms when stuck under side control versus mount versus in someone's guard, etc. Learn how to defend your collars. Learn grip breaks. Learn how to keep your posture in guard. Learn to keep your feet and knees between an attacker in top position. Etc. You should pat yourself on the back and recognize your "success" when you come away from a roll without being subbed or having made your partner try many different things before subbing you. It's when you become hard to control and hard to submit (i.e., when your "defense" is good) that you can start to attack a little more, and that's usually when you're in line for blue belt.

(2) This is going to be hard. Especially the farther away you are from being large, athletic, and male. The first year of BJJ is, in general, just getting the sh*t kicked out of you while you learn how to not make terrible decisions (i.e., while you learn "survival," see above). Progress will feel positively glacial. You'll go months and feel like you haven't improved at all, in part because everyone around you is improving as well. You must stick with it during this time and push through. It will get better. After the first year or so, you will have progressed far enough to see the gap when a new set of white belts start. Until then, you'll just feel like you're "losing" all of the time. (Though remember, training in class isn't about "winning" or "losing," and if you're learning to "survive" as a white belt then you're doing exactly the right thing.)

(3) Don't injure yourself. Injuries happen in combat sports naturally, so don't make it worse by doing stupid things. If you're caught in a joint lock and don't have a legitimate plan of escape immediately in mind, then it's time to tap. Not a big deal. Everybody taps. If you're not surrounded by folks who can tap you, then you're not likely to improve very much. Similarly, don't overtrain until your body has adapted to the new demands you're putting on it . . . though don't go so rarely that you hardly ever improve. Two to three times a week is usually good for beginners.

Cyboth - I'm one year in and still loving it. Broken toe, cauliflower ears, fingers bending, shit load of bruises.

You will become more and more physically resilient if you keep training.

I don't think I will get cauliflower ear. How does it happen?

Just from pressure on your ear - getting stuck in headlocks or whatever. It looks pretty badass though, so just let it happen.

That's the look that I NEED!

I have good/bad news. Some people just dont get cauliflower ear...years of hard rolling and I don't have it even a little. Yet I know some people who roll for a month and look like life long wrestlers.

In regards to your revenge thoughts...the more experienced you get the more you will know when to turn the aggression on and off. With some guys at the gym I am chill, and others we have an unspoken agreement to get a little violent.

Oh, one more tip--if you're ears hurt, get headgear. I like these as they're soft and low profile, which keeps them out of everybody's way and prevents injuries to your partner like the hard plastic ones can cause. I don't even notice that I'm wearing them.

Online everybody busts on headgear, but I've never actually had anyone say anything about them in person other than to ask if I liked them, what brand they are, etc. In fact, I've noticed that when one person starts wearing them at an academy, several others usually quickly follow suit who were (presumably) too "embarassed" to be the first to wear them.

I've also never met somebody who, if offered a no-cost magic solution that could magically return their ears to pre-grappling condition, wouldn't take that offer. There is much discussion of taking "pride" in cauliflowered ears, but deep down I believe most would rather not have them.

Finally, aside from being painful to develop, cauliflower ears are very permanent. Plastic surgery to "fix" them (sort of) can run in excess of $5K per ear.

I was intimidated. I tried it before a few times and the closeness freaked me out a bit. I still need to get used to it, but I feel a lot better about it now.

Can you elaborate on this a bit. Is it being close to strange men that's the issue or would it still be an issue if you trained exclusively with women too? Also, does the "closeness" have anything to do with feeling smothered or trapped? I've heard women mention this before but I never really understood it.

If you do some shadow boxing right before rolling, they will dig your sweet moves and hespect you more.

Ha! Just trust your Professor and stay dedicated. Don't expect it to come overnight either. You wouldn't stare at a shrub expecting it to launch into the sky becoming a tree. Takes time but if you put the time in, you will get better.

I was intimidated. I tried it before a few times and the closeness freaked me out a bit. I still need to get used to it, but I feel a lot better about it now.

Can you elaborate on this a bit. Is it being close to strange men that's the issue or would it still be an issue if you trained exclusively with women too? Also, does the "closeness" have anything to do with feeling smothered or trapped? I've heard women mention this before but I never really understood it.

Yes, exactly. I feel more comfortable training with women right now and a very small pool of men (3 maybe 4) that I have a high level of trust with. Part of my issue is I am claustrophobic and I do feel an overwhelming anxiety when I feel crowded or smothered. It's really odd. It happens even during normal conversations. I get consumed with feeling the need to escape. I am hoping that the BJJ will help me deal with that and I feel like it is working so far. Once I am a little more comfortable, I will probably be able to train with just about anybody, but I am still in the process of conquering my fear. My goal is to make progress every day.

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