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3 Ways To Cheat On Someone

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

My last blog on why people cheat received such a great response that I thought I’d write a follow up piece on how people cheat. The line between right and wrong is blurry at best, debatable at least but arbitrary no matter what. And with the proliferation of Internet dating, social media, smart phones and ephemeral messaging it’s never been easier to cross that line…no matter where it lies. Most people consider cheating to be unknown intimacy occurring between your partner and someone else. In the past that consisted of full blown of affairs, trysts, or random acts of infidelity with unwitting participants. There are more ways to cheat than one. Here are the three most common forms of cheating and how to avoid them.

Sexual. Obviously when your partner has sexual relations with someone behind your back, they are cheating. There are people who cheat with reckless abandon and there are people who do it with such discretion that they become masters of deception. What is most foretelling about a cheater is how they treat the paramour. When the cheater is more honest, open and connected to them than you, all is lost in your relationship. When the cheater is deceiving this person as much as you, they may ironically, and sincerely, wish to maintain their relationship with you. Believe it or not. Sometimes men and women step outside of their marriage or relationship with no intentions of jeopardizing what they have. They are just unsatisfied and are looking to fulfill a need that they can’t fulfill with their relationship. However, this isn’t always a physical need.

Emotional. Sometimes couples grow apart. Sometimes conflict, neglect, or abuse drives them apart. But what keeps them together is usually a challenging set of circumstances that seem impossible to unwind. An emotional cheater feels lost, bewildered, and generally unhappy with their life. They are insecure, lack self-esteem or simply dislike their partner at this point. Emotional cheaters are more likely to stay in their relationship than the sexually unfaithful. They are almost always just looking to fill an emotional void, and nothing more. Emotional cheating can occur through social media, over text, on the phone, by email, in person, etc. It is the easiest form of cheating there is. That’s why when it comes to your relationship, define the boundaries between flirting and cheating and be sure the person you’re with knows that any intimate conversations behind your back would be considered cheating and that you don’t condone this on any level.

Financial. The sanctity of one’s relationship requires sexual, emotional and financial security. That doesn’t mean that you have to be the best there is in bed, the greatest communicator in the world, or financially well off. It means that you have to do your best to provide the other person with as much of this security as you can. Even if you have more to give than they could even want or accept, it doesn’t give you the right to spread your wealth of sexuality, emotion or money, outside of your relationship. And often when someone’s basic needs in these areas are left unfulfilled, their self-centered partners still spread themselves around. This might be the most pervasive type of cheating there is. Taking advantage of the trust of your partner by gambling or spending your money in ways they wouldn’t want you to is just as disrespectful, if not more than any of the aforementioned forms of infidelity.