Articles for the Month of August 2015

If you want a committed, long-term love relationship, you need to learn how to fight with your partner! Oh, not knock-down, drag-out disrespect. After all, you love your partner.

You just slowly come to terms with the fact that in the course of a 24-7 home-sharing, life-melding relationship, you’ll probably bump heads on a fairly regular basis. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. But it could be..if you allow insults, criticism and resentment to creep in.

To get a handle on resolving conflicts productively, try to incorporate the following ideas:

Consider the big picture. Is this fight worth it?

You know, you really don’t have to “fight.” In fact, there are some more productive, peaceful ways to make your point and come out stronger without a lot of drama and future apologies.

If a brewing disagreement deserves discussion, then try to calmly converse.

If your fight seems borne out of displaced stress or your spouse’s bad day, attempt to be gracious and let it go.

It doesn’t serve much good to let all your loving feelings get swept away by temporary anger or irritation. Sometimes it really isn’t worth it.

Decide not to hurt your spouse. Choose not to engage.

Prevent a communication blowout. Are you respectful?

This is the part about “fighting fair.”

Nobody likes a bully.

Especially one who knows all the buttons to push and wounds to reopen.

Again, you love this person. That’s why you are so bothered.

That’s why it’s worth taking a deep breath and biting your tongue.

It’s important to check your tone and mannerisms when conversations get heated.

Are you demonstrating that you value your spouse’s perspective?

Does your partnership remain equal and fair as you hash out your differences?

Fair fights in a successful relationship don’t include power plays, unreasonable interpretations of each other’s actions or inaction,or heavy-handed criticism.