The Buddha on Abuse

A tale is told
about the Buddha, Gautama (563-483BC), the Indian prince and spiritual leader
whose teachings founded Buddhism. This short story illustrates that every one
of us has the choice whether or not to take personal offence from another
person's behavior.

It is said that on
an occasion when the Buddha was teaching a group of people, he found himself on
the receiving end of a fierce outburst of abuse from a bystander, who was for
some reason very angry.

The Buddha listened
patiently while the stranger vented his rage, and then the Buddha said to the
group and to the stranger, "If someone gives a gift to another person, who
then chooses to decline it, tell me, who would then own the gift? The giver or
the person who refuses to accept the gift?"

"The
giver," said the group after a little thought. "Any fool can see
that," added the angry stranger.

"Then it
follows, does it not," said the Buddha, "Whenever a person tries to
abuse us, or to unload their anger on us, we can each choose to decline or to
accept the abuse; whether to make it ours or not. By our personal response to
the abuse from another, we can choose who owns and keeps the bad
feelings."