My Other Accounts

Babies

09/17/2012

When Adelaide was four weeks old, I took her down the street to introduce her to the wonders of Tim Horton's.

While she was still a little too young to enjoy a Double Double, that didn't stop me from grabbing a seat on the patio, with a coffee and bagel in hand, and enjoying the last few remnants of summer.

Keep in mind, here, that I was a brand new mom. Like, BRAND new. My paranoia radar was not yet fully established, and my momma instincts were a little muted by sleep deprivation. As a result, I had Adelaide's stroller facing out -- for all the world to see -- rather than tucked in a corner facing me.

Halfway through my bagel, a gentleman (I'd say early-to-mid 30s?) peeked his head around and looked into the stroller. I offered him a closed-mouth smile (yes, I did produce a super cute baby, didn't I?) and, before I even knew what was happening, watched the unthinkable happen.

He squeezed. Her. Head.

Until she cried.

Then, without saying a word or even looking at me, he walked away. Just like that.

Now, obviously I ran after him, grabbed him, asked him what the hell he thought he was doing. It's kind of a blur to me now, but I must have caused quite the fuss because a crowd soon formed around us, with quite a few people jumping to my rescue. Say what you want about society, but when a baby is in some sort of jeopardy, people step up.

Someone asked me if the baby was okay...but I had no idea. How would I know if his hand crushed her brain? How would I know if she was permanently disabled? She was four weeks old!

In any case, it turned out she was fine. And the gentleman in question was autistic. His mother had walked a few steps too far ahead of him, and didn't notice his interest in my baby. While I obviously don't blame him, or her, it opened my eyes to the hazards of living with a baby in the city.

Since then, I've come very close to having a homeless/drunk/mentally ill man throw us into oncoming traffic. And we've had garbage thrown at us by a mentally ill woman at the CNE this year. My friend was beaten with a suitcase by a mentally ill lady who didn't like how my friend's baby was looking at her.

It's funny, but I really don't remember anything like that happening before I got pregnant. Maybe I just didn't notice it?

Which leads us to the whole city versus suburbs debate. We would be fooling ourselves if we thought I could run an at-home business and raise a family in a one-plus-den condo. At some point, even though we don't want to, we'll have ot move. Whether it's somewhere else in the city, or off in the boring suburbs, is what's up for debate.

Both of us love the city, for different reasons. I love the walkability, the excitement, the endless array of things to do -- not to mention the fact that it's a lot easier to meet clients and potential clients when I'm on a TTC line. Brad loves the proximity to sports venues, and the fact that we're close to all our friends. Either way, it's always been a dream of ours to live downtown, and we're still not ready to give it up.

That being said, unless Toronto housing prices take a significant dip in the near future -- with our place miraculously increasing in value -- I'm not sure I'm a fan of the places we may end up living. The neighbourhoods in our budget are typically "in transition", and the homes we can afford are usually older places with water/mould issues and severe renovation needs. We are not handy people, so this will probably end up costing us more money than most.

My husband argues that the suburbs aren't any safer. That the situation mentioned above could happen there too. I disagree. As a former Richmond Hill resident, I know that it's way too difficult to get around in the suburbs. Not only would I likely not be enjoying a coffee on a Tim Horton's patio out there (instead, I'd be sipping it in my car after going through the drive through), but there would be significantly less foot traffic -- which means less pedestrians just waiting to squeeze my baby's head.

I'm sure we're not the only city-loving folk out there who have these same concerns. Has anyone else gone through this? What was your final decision?

09/04/2012

I absolutely LOVE Toronto history. I don't know exactly why...I guess I just like understanding how the city I adore came to be, and imagining what it used to look like. I think the City of Toronto website says it best: Every generation lives in a different Toronto.

Still, while my Toronto is vastly different, even from my parents' generation, there are a lot of things that are similar. The City of Toronto Archives has this awesome Flickr page, and they recently posted a photostream on babies.

While these babies are old (and maybe dead) now, they did a lot of the same things that Adelaide continues to do! It makes me realize that, while a lot of things have changed, many haven't. It also makes me realize that Adelaide, along with the rest of us, will hopefully one day be really old.

A baby takes a bath in a sink in 1922 (top), while Adelaide takes one at Grandma's house in 2012!

Adelaide and a baby from 1921 (top) get dressed up in hilariously similar outfits!

Global warming? What global warming? Babies still need snowsuits, just like they did back in 1916!

08/30/2012

I want you to take a minute and think back to your babysitting days. Do you remember how EXCRUTIATING it was to entertain other people's kids -- particularly on extremely cold or rainy days when outdoor activities weren't an option?

Well, I do. In fact, the memories are burned so vividly into my mind that they actually made me partially dread having children. I just remember that pressure to always be doing stuff -- to have an endless supply of fun and exciting and interesting activities on hand -- when all I really wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch Much Music.

During my pregnancy, I often mourned the loss of lazy, rainy days as I knew them. Even after my mother-in-law assured me that it's different with your own kids (you're not getting paid by the hour, so you don't have to feel guilty for getting them to entertain themselves once in a while), I still didn't really believe her.

Luckily, we've had an amazingly sunny and dry summer, so as Adelaide has gotten more mobile, I haven't yet been stuck in the house with her. When she starts getting into trouble, I simply throw her in the stroller and we go for a walk. Even if it's not very far, the fresh air seems to make everything better -- for both of us.

Which is why I almost cried when I looked at the weather forecast on Tuesday. It was expected to rain heavily for most of the day, until about 5pm. What was I going to do? How was I possibly going to stay INSIDE with a one-year-old who has no idea how to entertain herself for more than five minutes at a time?

Well, like any good mother, my first plan of action was to get her to nap. After all, that's what I felt like doing. Unfortunately, she didn't like this. She wasn't tired and didn't understand why she couldn't continue her treasure hunt in the shag rug. She already found three pieces of dried up food and one tiny piece of plastic that she was determined to lodge in her throat. Why was I ruining all her fun????

So then we expanded her play area by moving the coffee table, laid out all her toys and cranked Sharon, Lois and Bram. We were going to have a dance party! Unfortunately, I was the only one dancing. Because she hadn't had a nap, she was in a baby zombie-like state. Too tired to dance, but not tired enough to go to sleep -- or discontinue her treasure hunt.

Then I hit Google. "Indoor activities for a one-year-old". Hmm...Play Dough? Nope. No time to make it. Colouring? Um...I might skip that one for now. Ooh! A "water table"! Now that sounded promising!

I filled a basin with soapy water, threw in some plastic kitchen utensils of different shapes, laid out a few towels on the floor and -- voila! Hours of entertainment! Sure, I could have put her in the bath, but then I'd have to spend my day on the floor in the bathroom. This allowed me to supervise while sitting on the comfy couch and replying to emails.

With winter just around the corner, I'm definitely going to keep this game in my back pocket. What are your go-to indoor activities? I'm eager to add more to my repertoire!

08/27/2012

We found out the other day that our friends Rich and Lily are expecting a baby.

The news came during a brief visit to our place -- the two now live in Bermuda, but were in town for a visit, so we used the opportunity to invite the ol' "gang" over for a few beers and burgers.

Rich and Lily are now the last married couple in our group to get pregnant, which is awesome, exciting news (I've been waiting for this for a while, since we were the first to go through the whole experience). I am absolutely thrilled not to be the lone Mommy in the group anymore...and I'm looking forward to more baby-friendly social engagements in the future.

The thing is, as I start feeling more included, I totally feel for our non-married, non-child-bearing friends. There's definitely a divide growing - one that I totally don't want to grow, but that's impossible to really prevent. I mean, whether you want them to or not, kids change things.

We can't go on pub crawls at the drop of a Friday night hat anymore. Or pick up and head to a 7pm Jays game mid-week. Our social options are often limited to our apartment, unless we plan ahead and get a babysitter. And we spend a lot more weekends at the grandparents' lately so they get their Adelaide fix. There are obviously ways to get around these issues, but I guess the bottom line is: we just like spending time with our baby. We'd rather be with her than not with her.

I know our non-baby-crazy friends are trying their best to be happy for us...but it's hard. I assume it's something like my fourth year of university, when everyone around me had boyfriends and date nights and Valentine's chocolates. It was really lonely. I felt like I was being left behind...or replaced. I tried to make other friends and keep busy on Friday nights -- I even moved in with another single gal, into our own "bachelorette pad"-- but the transition definitely wasn't easy. It was hard to keep the panic at bay -- that panic that made me think I would never, ever find a relationship of my own.

I know our other friends will make it through this stage too...they just have to find their own way through it. In the meantime, I'll make sure I do my best to put myself in their shoes -- and fit in some "non-kid" time once in a while.