Dear Rihanna: Say What You Want But We Don’t Hate Chris Brown For The Reasons You Think

In a highly anticipated interview this Sunday, Oprah interviews Rihanna for Oprah’s Next Chapteron OWN. Over the past few weeks, they keep leaking out quotes about the interview that will definitely get emotional considering that Rihanna opens up about Chris Brown beating her up and the aftermath of that abuse.

However, Rihanna still sounds like she’s not ready to accept that what Chris Brown did was wrong and how he handled it afterward was what made it more wrong. Call it whatever you want, and most members of Team Breezy prefer to call it a mistake, it was wrong. I think we can all agree that hitting another person is wrong.

‘Because as angry as I was – as angry and hurt and betrayed – I just felt like he made that mistake because he needed help. And who’s going to help him? Nobody’s going to say he needs help, everybody’s going to say he’s a monster, without looking at the source. And I was more concerned about him.’

And I have to blatantly disagree with Rihanna. Out of fear about sounding like we’re victim blaming, we’ve all hesitated in criticizing what she’s said about the incident. Obviously what happened is in no way her fault, nor is how she processed it her fault. That’s the cycle of domestic abuse and it’s a bigger issue than just two people. Even if these two people happen to be famous.

With that said, I need to clear this up because we still get frequent comments from Team Breezy daily on older articles about Chris Brown that touch on this very topic.

I think a majority of people knew that punching someone so hard that their lip splits open means that person needs help. Yes, that did make him a temporary monster, but no one stood in the way of him getting help. No one objected to him trying to make up for what he did and seeking counseling to understanding why it happened and how to prevent it from happening again.

As someone surrounded by a publicity/marketing team as well as an incredibly loyal fanbase, I can’t imagine the resources to get help weren’t there. As someone ordered by the court to get help, I once again can’t imagine resources weren’t there for him to get as much help as he needed.

Instead Chris Brown chose a path of vengeance – and not one of redemption and forgiveness. That’s a choice he made in the aftermath of beating up Rihanna and that’s why we hate him. As a public figure he had the responsibility to go above and beyond what the court required of him and apologize for what happened. Not only to Rihanna, but to all his fans who got the wrong idea that it’s okay to hit someone when you’re angry. That it’s okay to make a “mistake” and sit back until people forget about it, rather than being a man, doing the right thing and making up for it in every way possible.

Because when you’re a celebrity, you lose that privacy, you lose the privilege to say, “we’re going to handle this privately.” Sorry, that’s part of making millions of dollars a year. Millions of dollars that come from fans’ pockets. I think it’s a small price to pay for a few Grammys.

Making an album called “Forgiving All My Enemies “doesn’t show any sorrow over what happened. It shows a man who’s angry at the world for punishing him for committing a crime. Throwing a chair through a window because someone asked you about what happened doesn’t show someone who’s learned anything from his “mistake.” It shows a performer who thinks he’s above the law and above common human decency.

And to address the second part of Rihanna’s statement, the one where she says that “everyone’s going to think he’s a monster,” that unfortunately didn’t happen. Rather than being shunned from the music community, he got welcomed back to it this year with open arms. Performance after performance, award after award, collaboration after collaboration. The message from the music community this year is that talent counts more than integrity. Making money matters more than sending a message.

So no, Rihanna, we don’t hate Chris Brown for what he did to you. We hate him for he still hasn’t done — and that’s shown any remorse for beating another person up to the point that she needed to be hospitalized.

Well said! Cue the fans blustering about how he’s “paid his dues” and we need to stop punishing him. Because blogs have so much power to punish someone who is currently getting Grammys and accolades from the celebrity industrial complex.

jamiepeck

Well said! Cue the fans blustering about how he’s “paid his dues” and we need to stop punishing him. Because blogs have so much power to punish someone who is currently getting Grammys and accolades from the celebrity industrial complex.

Jon

can’t stand the the guy. how does he still have a career?

Jenni

Because everyone in the music industry looked the other way because he makes money.

Flossy

Brilliant, finally an article that discusses this issue rationally. I really hate Chris Brown because of all the above. I am happy to forgive and move on but when it comes to taking responsibility for your actions, acknowledge they were wrong unfortunately Chris Brown, Rihanna and the entertainers of their age group, such as Lindsay Lohan only care about making money as far as they’re concerned integrity can go to hell. I really feel sorry for the generation of teens idolising them. Good message to send to today’s teens. Take, drugs, beat up your spouse, fall out of nightclubs drunk, get a DUI and afterwards don’t say it was wrong just say it was a “mistake”. Team Breezy can go kiss my ass.

You hate…how interesting. The truth is she Rihanna doesn’t owe us anything, she didn’t owe it to tell us that she forgives him. She was being vulnerable. You hate him for what you think you know, but you don’t know if he got help and he doesn’t have to tell you that. We all have our things that we go through and our not so pretty pieces of our life the difference is you can sit here and comment on theirs because its publics and keep your private. I think what he do was horrific, but it happened to her, not me.
Just like with other individuals who are involved in domestic abuse scenarios, some (not all) are shamed to talk about it and speak up because of fear of judgement against them. Because a person who they loved and might very well still love betrayed them and hurt them.

Jenni

Multiple fans have stated on this site that it’s okay to hit someone when they’re angry and that’s why we should forgive Chris Brown. Can you imagine the difference he could make by just saying “it’s never okay to hit someone.” Of course he’s not legally obligated to go beyond what the court required, but I think he’s morally obligated to make sure his fans aren’t hitting their girlfriends because he says it’s okay to make these kinds of mistakes.

He has the ability to make a positive difference in the world and he’s choosing to ignore that.

Kate

This article is bullshit.

Confused

I agree with you on this one Jenni but sometimes your attitude confuses me. I read this article and your K Stew articles. One you condemn and one you defend. Do you believe it is ok to hurt people in some ways but not in others? Please explain why you believe that hitting someone is wrong but emotionally and sexually betraying someone is ok.

Jenni

I don’t defend what Kristen did to Rob Pattinson. I defend her against all the fans who immediately called her a whore/slut/trampire, without condemning Rupert Sanders as well. To me, it’s more about the double standards in this particular case that we see happen over and over again in society.

Guys are expected to cheat and are therefore just doing what comes natural to them, women aren’t. Yet it takes two to tango. Riddle me that.

Not to mention that when it comes to Kristen Stewart and Chris Brown, Kristen apologized the next day, three years later I’m still waiting for Chris Brown to show remorse…

awakeupcall

So well put! Dear Rihanna, please re-watch your interview with 60 minutes about the message you are sending to young girls worldwide and take your own advice. You both need to end this unhealthy obsession you have with each other because the next thing he will likely be throwing through a glass window will be you! He has serious anger issues and by his own actions made it clear he has not received proper and on going treatment. You both need a HUGE wake up call not accolades and awards! I guess the lesson I learned out of this is what you said on 60 mis…it doesn’t take just 7,8 or 9 times of physical violence to wake you up. Perhaps it will take 10 and hopefully you will still alive. You are so beautiful but fame and Chris Brown are going to be the death of you. Rihanna I love you & your music, but can no longer be a supporting fan. It’s called tough love and thank God my parents once did this for me. Sweetie, you need it as well as prayers. It’s your wake up call girl, before it is too late.