(Closed) I dont want to look for a dress!

I’m still a year away from my wedding, but I have zero interest in looking for a dress. Everyone keeps asking me when I want to go, but I don’t! At first I thought it was because I am unhappy with my current weight and I didn’t want to look for something I knew I couldn’t fit in, but then I realized I just didn’t want to buy a dress. I’m not good at making decisions and making a decision that big, scares the crap out of me! Any advice???

I felt exactly the same. People kept saying “Ooh, you can look for dresses!” and I was like, argh, NO! I must be the only bride ever to choose her guestbook before her dress…

My advice is to take your time, and choose the people who go with you very carefully. And consider going alone.

I actually went shopping alone the first time. I went to a charity shop that was having a wedding dress sale and tried a bunch of stuff on by myself to get an idea of what I liked and what I thought suited me. I didn’t find anything I liked, but I did feel a lot happier and more confident when I went shopping with my mum and chief bridesmaid as I already had some idea of what I liked.

A lot of people feel that way. I agree with the other bee’s … start researching on-line what type of styles you like and print them out. I bet once you actually start trying dresses on it will get you excited and give you the desire to find *the dress*! I would suggest for a first appointment that will not be overwhelming go to a local David’s Bridal (preferably on a weekday). Go in with an open mind and see what happens. Your wedding is almost a year away so I would suggest starting the dress search as soon as your up to it. If I were you I would place the order for the dress no later than October. This allows you 8 months to get your dress in and alterations done. Good luck!

Just make sure you figure out the latest you can look for a dress and have it arrive on time if it if needs to be ordered and altered. Unless you want to show up naked . Maybe if you tell people you’re going naked they’ll stop pressuring you to look!

Don’t feel like you have to have this life-changing, transcendent experiece finding a dress. You just don’t. Many brides do, and that is wonderful, but for many of us, it’s just a dress. Yes, you want to look lovely, and you want to feel good in it, but it doesn’t have to be the focus for you that it is for other brides. Pick up a Brides magazine someone soon and page through it, taking note of what seems nice to you. Or at least eliminate from consideration what you know you don’t want. Then, when you feel like it, start trying things on.

You can also look outside of the salon experience – which may be too much for you if you’re just not that into the dress thing – at shops that carry bridalwear, like jcrew or Ann Taylor. Or even department stores like Nordstrom.

You really don’t have to do it all so far in advance. If you order an elaborate gown to be made, 6 months ahead is as close as you want to cut it (to leave time for alterations). But if you’re doing something simpler, like buying from jcrew, 6 months is a good time to start looking.

I agree with a lot of the PP’s. Take your time, look at inspiration pictures. Bring a supportive friend/family. But my two cents, don’t leave it to the last min! Then you will feel uber stressed out, and will most likely settle for something that you’re not happy with.

I somewhat feel that way too but I’m learning to suck it up and deal with it! My wedding isn’t until a while away so I don’t have to start looking yet but I know that when I will, I’m going to try on EVERY type of style they have to see what looks best on me. That might be a good first step!

As for making a decision, I know how you feel. It’s the one and only wedding dress I’ll ever buy. It definitely IS a huge decision!

If you think you might enjoy an alternative dress shopping experience, you could try something like Church Street Bridal (located in Virginia) or try to check out a Brides Against Breast Cancer event. I was dreading gown shopping until I heard about BABC and was able to arrange to go to one of their events with my mom. It turned out awesome and I wouldn’t have done it any other way!

As PP said look online to get ideas. Also if you have worn dresses before (obviously not this formal, but dressy) what styles did you like. Do you tend to go for one shape? Go with 1 or 2 people you feel very comfortable with and totally trust. Or if you still feel weird I had a friend who went alone the first time simply b/c she wanted to make sure she would look okay in a wedding dress.

I was freaked out about dress shopping (body issues, size etc) to the point I almost just went and tried them on with just my mom. I finally bit the bullet and went with my mom, gmom and SIL. I found my dress that day (2nd I tried on and I only tried on 6 total) and it was the one I had been looking at online for months. It was totally painless and I couldn’t be happier.

I felt similarly. I got engaged in February and just went shopping last week. I would recommend going to a nice place on a weekday, so they are less busy. Start with low expectations. Go with the goal of trying on every style (mermaid, ball gown a-line and sheath) and a variety of fabrics and necklines. Your goal on the first appointment should be to narrow down huge lists of options to some elements that you feel good in. That’s what I did and after my first appointment, I felt relieved. I felt like I would have a dress I love on my day, even though I hadn’t found a dress, yet!

Hope you can make a brave first trip and end up feeling like this process is doable!

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement! It makes it feel a little more manageable for some reason 🙂

My FSIL (and bridesmaid) and I are going dress shopping for her next week (shes pregnant and so we want to look at some styles now before she gets too big to be able to try things on and has to make an uninformed decision!) and I might see if she’d be willing to hang out while I try some on too. Since I’m not as close with her, it might take a lot of the pressure off of me. And could actually be fun!