I wrote my first essay with a pen and paper, but by the time I graduated from college, I owned a cell phone and used Google as a verb.

I still remember the home phone numbers of my old high school friends, but don’t ask me to recite my husband’s without checking my contacts first.

I own mix tapes that include selections from Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but I’ve never planned a trip without Travelocity.

Despite having one foot in Generation X, I tend to identify most strongly with the attitudes and the ethos of the millennial generation, and because of this, I’m often asked to speak to my fellow evangelical leaders about why millennials are leaving the church.

Armed with the latest surveys, along with personal testimonies from friends and readers, I explain how young adults perceive evangelical Christianity to be too political, too exclusive, old-fashioned, unconcerned with social justice and hostile to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

I point to research that shows young evangelicals often feel they have to choose between their intellectual integrity and their faith, between science and Christianity, between compassion and holiness.

I talk about how the evangelical obsession with sex can make Christian living seem like little more than sticking to a list of rules, and how millennials long for faith communities in which they are safe asking tough questions and wrestling with doubt.

Invariably, after I’ve finished my presentation and opened the floor to questions, a pastor raises his hand and says, “So what you’re saying is we need hipper worship bands. …”

And I proceed to bang my head against the podium.

Time and again, the assumption among Christian leaders, and evangelical leaders in particular, is that the key to drawing twenty-somethings back to church is simply to make a few style updates - edgier music, more casual services, a coffee shop in the fellowship hall, a pastor who wears skinny jeans, an updated Web site that includes online giving.

But here’s the thing: Having been advertised to our whole lives, we millennials have highly sensitive BS meters, and we’re not easily impressed with consumerism or performances.

In fact, I would argue that church-as-performance is just one more thing driving us away from the church, and evangelicalism in particular.

Many of us, myself included, are finding ourselves increasingly drawn to high church traditions- Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, the Episcopal Church, etc. - precisely because the ancient forms of liturgy seem so unpretentious, so unconcerned with being “cool,” and we find that refreshingly authentic.

What millennials really want from the church is not a change in style but a change in substance.

We want an end to the culture wars. We want a truce between science and faith. We want to be known for what we stand for, not what we are against.

We want to ask questions that don’t have predetermined answers.

We want churches that emphasize an allegiance to the kingdom of God over an allegiance to a single political party or a single nation.

We want to be challenged to live lives of holiness, not only when it comes to sex, but also when it comes to living simply, caring for the poor and oppressed, pursuing reconciliation, engaging in creation care and becoming peacemakers.

You can’t hand us a latte and then go about business as usual and expect us to stick around. We’re not leaving the church because we don’t find the cool factor there; we’re leaving the church because we don’t find Jesus there.

Like every generation before ours and every generation after, deep down, we long for Jesus.

Now these trends are obviously true not only for millennials but also for many folks from other generations. Whenever I write about this topic, I hear from forty-somethings and grandmothers, Generation Xers and retirees, who send me messages in all caps that read “ME TOO!” So I don’t want to portray the divide as wider than it is.

But I would encourage church leaders eager to win millennials back to sit down and really talk with them about what they’re looking for and what they would like to contribute to a faith community.

Their answers might surprise you.

Rachel Held Evans is the author of "Evolving in Monkey Town" and "A Year of Biblical Womanhood." She blogs at rachelheldevans.com. The views expressed in this column belong to Rachel Held Evans.

soundoff(9,864 Responses)

I like this story...it makes Magic Baby Iron Age Sky Jew seem more like someone 8I*, a Millenial, could have a relationship with.

July 28, 2013 at 9:10 am |

MagicPanties

Speaking for pretty much everyone, the author states "...deep down, we long for Jesus...".

Um, arrogance much?

My invisible pink unicorn also longs for Jesus, but she's not holding her breath.

July 28, 2013 at 9:08 am |

Stan

Your IPU longs for the Spaghetti Monster and the sweet touch of his noodley appendages.

July 28, 2013 at 9:15 am |

Gary Davis

Hi Rachel,
In slightly over one year I will attain my 70th year of breath on this planet. Like you, I find more of an affinity with our millennial generation than with my fellow Builders or with "The Silent Generation" as some call us. Ever since I found my voice in graduate school I have hardly been silent. Nor am I oft optimistic (the glass is half-full), or pessimistic (the glass is half empty). I am pretty much a hard-core realist (the glass was designed without thought of the water).
For the better part of my life I have sought to bring the church into the Twentieth Century. (I know..., it's the Twentyfirst Century. I'll just settle for the Twentieth.) I even wrote a book about "Clueless Christianity."
My firm belief is that the Christian message should be expresses in a manner which normal people can understand. Whether they accept or refute it is their prerogative. Pluralism is one of the few things that is actually helpful in the public forum. Another tenet to which I adher is that any message, Christian or otherwise, should be expressed in the formats & idioms of the host-culture. For example, the way the "gospel" is heard in rural Idaho is NOT how it will be perceived in the LA scene or the New York Wall Street crowd, let alone by recent Islamic immigrants to the US. We ALL hear "input" in our own context. Ergo, form your communication is the language patters, images, histories, and life perceptions of the Reciever, NOT within your framework of thinking.
Why are Millenials leaving Church? Because it just doesn't make sense to them anymore, no matter the expression. The reasons you sight around the lack of substance are right-on. Kudos to you, Rachel! And concerning Performance?!? Americans like to be entertained. 'Nough said.
Keep writing! O, and buy my book..., I need the money.
Gary

July 28, 2013 at 9:06 am |

Mike

Millenials are leaving the church........the church is not leaving millenials. It is their right to leave – and not their right to expect the church to change to suit their social whims. Social justice is just another popular phrase now that is a softer more palatable form of socialism – and unfortunately this lady as very many in the U.S. fail to see it for what it truly is. We cannot level the playing field and make the poor rich by making the rich poor. Eliminating what so many today feel is the unfair advantage of capitalism is truly just a wish to eliminate capitalism and replace it with some type of pseudo democratic socialism. If this "social justice/socialism" thrust wins – they will see 20-50 years down the road why they are wrong as the majority of the country sits mired in poverty and 40% unemployment.

I have heard this Christian left view (and it is a political statement – not a religious one that she is espousing) at church and across the Christian community and it is literally destroying churches vs empowering them and growing them. My feeling is that these people do not long for Jesus.......but long for Jesus to change to their current world view. If they cannot change Jesus......they instead change the church, ignore large chunks of scripture, and simple water down and change the gospel to their liking. They – like so many in the political spectrum that denounce Wall Street, corporations, and the rich.......in favor of social justice........are ripping apart the seams of this country. And the sad part is........they think they are making it better. They will find out soon enough if they win that they are doing the opposite.

This is how right-wing fanatics sound. Socialism is not the only way to address the concerns she expresses it, but you can't see that because you've been brainwashed to think anything short of social Darwinism is socialism.

July 28, 2013 at 3:01 pm |

AGeek

The fundamental problem is the disconnect between the message "that which you do to the least of my brothers, you do unto me" and the actions "ghey is bad, s3x is bad, yadda, yadda, yadda". Until the pulpit lines up with the message, you're going to keep watching religion shrink back into the abyss it came from.

July 28, 2013 at 9:05 am |

jeebus

Most "christians" smoke pole

July 28, 2013 at 9:05 am |

Horndawg

You just convinced me to go to church!

July 28, 2013 at 9:17 am |

Stan

Seems like you are soliciting.

July 28, 2013 at 9:20 am |

Andrew

Nice article, but sorry, deep down I am not searching for Jesus, and neither are a full quarter of the rest of us millennials.

July 28, 2013 at 9:04 am |

Laurie

ENTER BY THE NARROW GATE FOR THE GATE IS WIDE AND EASY THAT LEADS TO DESTRUCTION AND THOSE WHO ENTER IT ARE MANY. The church is there to protect the gospel as proclaimed by Jesus. Styles may change, but the substance does not.

July 28, 2013 at 9:02 am |

Giovanni

Laurie,

You would find that the substance has changed very much since the days of he first Christians.

July 28, 2013 at 9:09 am |

MagicPanties

Yes, a load of crap by any other name...

July 28, 2013 at 9:11 am |

NoviOhMy

Church has digressed and disconnected worshipers. When I go to a local church, I get a snack, a latte, and sit down and listen to a band play music followed by a play on stage. I feel like I just spent an hour or so at a low budget Circus de Soleil. There's no value for me in that kind of church, I'm disconnected, I leave. I don't return. That's why you hear so many people say the are spiritual, not religious.

July 28, 2013 at 9:02 am |

Michael Rio

The Christian faith is not about the style of music, if the Pastor wears jeans or a suit or if a church changes its views to please society. It is about the teaching of Jesus Christ and God, via the Bible, and how we can learn about history, morals, God's teachings for our lives and sin (which actually means "falling short"). Jesus Christ was either a madmen or the Son of God and our Lord and Savior. Jesus is not just some guru or "moral teacher." The true Christian accepts Jesus as Lord and Savior and does their best to follow His teachings, which are neither "conservative" or "liberal." Its about what is true and false and right and wrong!

July 28, 2013 at 8:59 am |

MagicPanties

It's about shared delusion and centuries of childhood indoctrination (brainwashing).

Most adults stopped believing in Santa Claus because...

July 28, 2013 at 9:04 am |

Donna

and so the fighting continues.....all of us on here are showing that religion vs atheism will never really end. Reality is we are all still searching even us CHRISTIANS. We love Jesus but yet cant really love our neighbors because we cant get past the Fear (which in itself is a sin) if they are going to love us back or kill us literally or figuratively. God is some big bad force who wants to squash us like a bug if we dont do exactly as he dictates by whichever book or bible in whatever religion. With each generation more and more is being revealed that the bible is true, which leads to Christ being real. Which leads to God being loving and wants us to love everyone no matter what their culture or our own upbringing. No, I'm not a flower child floating in a field of daisies. I'm a realist. Old testament is old. Good history but most of it is evolved through Jesus who took all that away. Sound like a fairy tale. We'll see. I choose to go with what has been prophesied and still seeing it happen today. When we die we wont have culture standing in our way to dicatate what is wrong or right. Go with your 'gut feeling, your conscience, your spirit'

July 28, 2013 at 8:57 am |

Reality

Tis one of the weekend feature religion topics on CNN Headline news and the result, as normal already over 3000 comments.

And to keep up with traffic flow:

Again for the new members:

Some 21st century nitty-gritty:

Putting the kibosh on all religion in less than ten seconds: Priceless !!!

• As far as one knows or can tell, there was no Abraham i.e. the foundations of Judaism, Christianity and Islam are non-existent.

• As far as one knows or can tell, there was no Moses i.e. the pillars of Judaism, Christianity and Islam have no strength of purpose.

• There was no Gabriel i.e. Islam fails as a religion. Christianity partially fails.

• There was no Easter i.e. Christianity completely fails as a religion.

• There was no Moroni i.e. Mormonism is nothing more than a business cult.

I wholeheartedly agree with this article. I was raised Baptist but I was getting tired of being bullied into believing certain, more political, mindsets and I ended up going to a Catholic church. I want CHURCH not a 'this is what politics you should adhere to'.

July 28, 2013 at 8:56 am |

JJ

You went from being a Baptist to a Catholic? Lol...talk about jumping from the frying pan into the fire!

July 28, 2013 at 9:02 am |

sandra

Do you read Greek or Aramaic? Do you have a Bible in the original languages? How do you know if the men who wrote the Bible got God's word just right? It's self righteous people like you who have driven people away from God. If you ever put down those heavy stones you seem ready to throw maybe you should contemplate what you will say to Jesus on judgment day when he asks you why you thougt you had the right to judge the sinners he died for.

July 28, 2013 at 8:55 am |

John Q.

Yes, and yes. I suggest reading the red letters in the Bible. It would explain that Jesus also fought against and was put to death by the religious...

July 28, 2013 at 8:59 am |

JJ

Liar. You can't read Greek or Aramaic or have read the original texts. You are obviously either only 13 years old or terribly uneducated and get all your info from your pastor.

July 28, 2013 at 9:07 am |

John Q.

LOL, want to bet?

July 28, 2013 at 9:15 am |

Reality

The Apostles' Creed 2013: (updated by yours truly and based on the studies of historians and theologians of the past 200 years)

Should I believe in a god whose existence cannot be proven
and said god if he/she/it exists resides in an unproven,
human-created, spirit state of bliss called heaven??

I believe there was a 1st century CE, Jewish, simple,
preacher-man who was conceived by a Jewish carpenter
named Joseph living in Nazareth and born of a young Jewish
girl named Mary. (Some say he was a mamzer.)

Jesus was summarily crucified for being a temple rabble-rouser by
the Roman troops in Jerusalem serving under Pontius Pilate,

He was buried in an unmarked grave and still lies
a-mouldering in the ground somewhere outside of
Jerusalem.

Said Jesus' story was embellished and "mythicized" by
many semi-fiction writers. A descent into Hell, a bodily resurrection
and ascension stories were promulgated to compete with the
Caesar myths. Said stories were so popular that they
grew into a religion known today as Catholicism/Christianity
and featuring dark-age, daily wine to blood and bread to body rituals
called the eucharistic sacrifice of the non-atoning Jesus.

Ooh, he can use Google translate! How impressive! Thought it is not completely accurate, it is run off of mathematical equations and is created on the fly. You too can take the class from the professors who created it...

July 28, 2013 at 9:05 am |

Reality

For those interested in the translations of the NT and associated scriptures:

Early Christian Writings, earlychristianwritings.com/
– a list of early Christian doc-uments to include the year of publication–

40 years or so from now the debate on the existence of a god or a son of god will no longer occupy the minds of the spiritual. It will be remembered as a good story that enjoyed amazing shelf life. Lets move on and focus on solving the issues of hunger, education, human rights, wealth re-distribution, and the environment. Miracles not required.

July 28, 2013 at 8:52 am |

John Q.

LOL, really? Ask the Ancient Romans how that worked out for them.

July 28, 2013 at 8:55 am |

fnordz

Ask the ancient Hebrews how searching for "God" worked out for them.

July 28, 2013 at 9:08 am |

Stan

I was going to read this, but it isn't actually here.

July 28, 2013 at 9:21 am |

John Q.

Well, so far they have their land back after thousands of years. It was prophesied that they would and it happened. How improbable is that? The stuff that comes next is even more exciting.

July 28, 2013 at 9:18 am |

jungleboo

Only for sadists.

July 28, 2013 at 9:39 am |

UncleBenny

"Lets move on and focus on solving the issues of hunger, education, human rights, wealth re-distribution, and the environment. "

"Ask the Ancient Romans how that worked out for them."

Actually, as far as I know, they didn't try that.

July 28, 2013 at 1:19 pm |

jimmer

That's cool....please just don't be a hypocrite and recant on your deathbed...."just in case".

July 28, 2013 at 8:58 am |

Zqndigra

Hmmmmm, I seem to have heard this prediction (several times ) before. LOL!

July 28, 2013 at 9:01 am |

JustTheFacts

In your dreams. 40 years from now, you'll likely be dead and in hell like a billion other fools before you, fools who had the very same thoughts as you did. But they were wrong and now are in hell as a consequence of it, while they await the arrival of Judgment Day (which will be here in about a 1,000 more years). Furthermore, anyone who is truly "spiritual" knows there's a God, no doubt about it. If a person is too ignorant to know that there's a God, then they never was "spiritual" in the first place. Not only that, but even the devils know that there is a God. So if you don't know that there's a God, then it means you're dumber than Lucifer.

Psalm 14:1 – The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.

James 2:19 – Thou believeth that there is one God; thou doest well; the devils also believe, and tremble.

July 28, 2013 at 9:06 am |

rjo3491

Jazz, you're ultimately correct, but 40 years? No, we're still looking at several generations before this thing fizzles out. My fear is that islam (which makes Christianity look Einstein'is) will fill the vacuum.

July 28, 2013 at 9:17 am |

Humanist11

Actual religious beliefs and supposed truths are ridiculous as they rely on no evidence and a suspension of physical laws that govern the universe. Some religious traditions bring real comfort and a sense of community to people, which is a valuable thing. We as humans should be able to have traditions, community and a platform to help others without the poison of religious beliefs that force us to make poor decisions. There are many secular groups that offer that opportunity and can fill that void that church once held.

July 28, 2013 at 8:49 am |

snowdogg

"Some religious traditions bring real comfort and a sense of community to people, which is a valuable thing."

I agree.

July 28, 2013 at 9:00 am |

Just Call Me Lucifer

"Some opiates bring real comfort and a sense of community to people, which is a valuable thing."

I agree.

July 28, 2013 at 9:05 am |

Dodger

News Flash: It was kids like you who wanted rock bands in church, not the old foggies you condemn. We'd be happy for you to chunk the separate service with rock bands and join us again in grown up church.

July 28, 2013 at 8:49 am |

Stef

News Flash: You missed the point of the article by reading only the line that made he hit her head off the podium.

Author was not calling for rock band in church. Author started that many Generation Xers want the traditional service. What they don't want is the continued hate shown by the church or the constant need to ignore science.

READ BEFORE RESPONDING.

July 28, 2013 at 9:01 am |

Doc

Um, Dodger's point was that the reason the shift away from traditional services happened in the first place was the millennial generation and now he's glad they want to come back to tradition...

July 28, 2013 at 9:33 am |

Doc

LOL! That is so true. I'm sick of having to listen to what passes for music in my families' churches – I feel like I'm being yelled at or at a junior high school dance. I miss the reverence, worshipfulness, and beauty of the old hymns. If I see one more pastor trying to look hip up at the podium with his spikey hair dripping gel and cool jeans. Ugh.

July 28, 2013 at 9:28 am |

Mark

After the next tornado or earthquake or church bus crash or pick any other disaster that randomly destroys life and heaps sorrow, ask yourselves "Where was God?" While you're at it, don't forget to ask where he was during the Holocaust.

July 28, 2013 at 8:49 am |

Constantine

He was where he always was – in Heaven, and probably was wondering why the world he commanded to do good to one another would ignore His council and commit the holocaust and then whine about Him not intervening instead of doing something about it....

July 28, 2013 at 12:04 pm |

James

Passionate atheists and religious zealots have one thing in common, a narrow mind.

July 28, 2013 at 8:48 am |

Caveman73

If wanting evidence for this god and religion is narrow minded in your world then so be it.

July 28, 2013 at 8:49 am |

jimmer

Wouldn't it be egg on your face if there is a God and He controls everything through science.

July 28, 2013 at 9:04 am |

JJ

Wouldn't it be egg on your face if you just happened to be born into the wrong religion and chose the wrong god and when you die you find you were duped as your parents were, etc. etc. and you wind up roasting in the hell of the god you rejected and this god has more respect for an atheist who actually demands evidence?

Wanting evidence is one thing... spending an inordinate amount of time blasting others for what they believe in is something else entirely.

July 28, 2013 at 9:17 am |

MennoKnight

Amen James! Amen!

July 28, 2013 at 8:53 am |

One one

How so ? Please explain.

July 28, 2013 at 8:57 am |

Stan

True that. I find religious and atheist zealots equally annoying.

July 28, 2013 at 9:04 am |

JustTheFacts

James... If you're not in the "passionate atheist" group, or in the "religious zealot" group, then in which group are you in? Answer: The "self-righteous intellectual group" perhaps? If so, then except you follow the scriptures and do what they say, then you're bound for hell anyway, just like the "passionate atheists" you criticize. And all your so-called intellectual ability and self-righteousness don't mean a thing...

The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.