Daycare centers: Advantages and disadvantages

Member comments

I am saddened by a posting posted earlier about the person who was in daycare and felt like her parents didn't want her. Now, I feel really guilty for putting my little boy at daycare full-time.

But, he likes it....He loves playing with the other children. He was always kind of bored being home with my husband. He likes going outside to play with his friends. He is now 11 months old. He always seems so happy everytime I sneak in there. He's always laughing.

We do give him a lot of attention when he's home. I've also visited him everyday on my lunch break since the day he started. The teachers kiss him and really love him too. One even used to call him her son.

I think he does really well there. As much as I worry....I actually think he likes it.

Some of the babies he's been talking to since he was three months old. There kind of like his brothers and sisters.

As a child I was put in daycare full-time from 3mos. - 12 years, therefore I have personal experience but now also the maturity to understand the pros and cons, and I must say I regret the experience. As a child, you always know that these people are just taking care of you for the money and don't personally love you. Plus, there are so many you can't even remember their names once you grow up. Full-time daycare left me feeling unwanted, like my parents were trying to get rid of me, a feeling I still struggle with as an adult. Please don't put your children in full-time daycare. I wish my parents hadn't.

I was saddened to read the comment from the father who felt that the projects his child was making were educational and that he was glad the child was not "just playing". In fact, "play is the child's work" (Piaget). It is only through exploration, experimentation and imagination (in other words, play) that a child learns about his world and begins to understand how he can impact it. Children do not need to glue vinyl letters to become literate. They need to be read to, to have access to writing materials and to be exposed to sounds and words through loving interactions with adults. Nursery rhymes, songs, and just plain conversation build a life long foundation for learning-not producing a "project" that a teacher has prepared. Good child care can provide such guidance-but it is important for parents to know what to look for and than choose the appropriate care for your child.

This is a very biased aticle. Just the length of time spent on the advantages of day care verus the disadvantages shows the author's bias towards day care - 9 paragraphs of pros and only 2 paragraphs of cons! Bottom line, nothing is better for a child than a truly loving caretaker. I'm of the personal belief that only a family member or close friend are able to deliver that kind of emotion to a child. They are smart - they know the difference between hired help and love!

To add to my last post regarding my 3-1/2 year old's behavior at day care, he has a very good vocabulary for his age, but, to say something like that and know exactly what he is saying is almost impossible because something like that sounds like something an older child would say. We can't get him to be able to say what is on his mind because he doesn't know how. He's only 3-1/2!!! We're having a hard time accepting the fact that he says that knowing what he really means, even if he DID say it. Anyway, if his behavior (as they are claiming) continues, he will be expelled. EXPELLED!!! From day care??? That is unheard of! I think that instead of focusing on his negaive behavior, maybe they should re-direct it, and teach him right from wrong as opposed to constantly punishing him for his bad behavior. I don't know what to think. We are at our wits end. We need Nanny 911! lol L & G

We are beginning to believe that our day care facilty is creating a bad influence on our 3-1/2 year old boy's behavior. When he asks up at home, which is usually just a temmper tantrum or throwing of a toy, or hitting his little sister, we use the time-out method. But, when he is at day care, the facilty is calling us every day because oir boy is supposedly punching & kicking other children, and coming up with sentences like, "If you don't shut up, I'm going to beat your a$$". WHAT!!? We NEVER use foul language in our home nor do we allow him to watch anything on television that is not made for children. Yet, the day care facilty is stating that they never hear any of the other children talk like that or behave like that. There is 2 adults and 20 over-stimulated 3 year olds in his class, and he seems to be singled out as the bully, yet we are having a hard time believing it. What should we do? Even id=f he is doing all of this, where is he getting it from? L & G

I work at home but I do choose to send my daughter to a daycare 3 days a week. She's been going since she was 12 weeks old. Its been wonderful. At 5 months she's only caught one cold and it was nothing. The day care has a ratio of 1 daycare worker to every 2 babies and 1 to every 4 toddlers. I know my daughter is cared for because she smiles everytime she sees Raquel her assigned sitter. She is very alert & friendly which I attribute to the activities that keep her stimulated. I know she feels love & I can be really productive on those days she goes to "visit her friends." I dont judge any other mothers for their choices... its tough enough to figure out what works for any of us but daycare works for us!

My child is in daycare and I think it really has helped her social skills - she takes really well to all kinds of people, peers, adults, anyone. Another plus of the daycare is that she is given a curriculum of structured age-appropriate activities and opportunities every day. I'm not sure that I would be able to provide quite the range of activities (especially children's group and social activities) if I was at home with her full-time. The big negative seems to be time away from mommy and daddy, but we try to overcome that by spending intensive time with her at nights and on weekends. When we drop her off at daycare she eagerly runs off to greet the other children, and when we pick her up she eagerly runs to greet us, so hopefully we've got a good balance.

I have to respond to the message from "full time mommy". You sound somewhat bitter about your decision to stay home full time. You really should not be judging other mothers. "Full time" mothers should PITY "working" mothers?? What a pathetic comment. I work part time and have the best of both worlds. I would NEVER judge a mother or father for her/his choice to work, stay home or put her/his child in day care. Shame on you! I think you may need to get out and work a little....you'd have much less time judging other moms! We're all mothers who work FULL TIME no matter what our situation is. I plan to stay home eventually with my child but I will decide what is best for MY family not yours. You should do the same.

It's unbelievable to me how many people are trying to say that there's one right or wrong thing for every family. There's not. As women we have to make hard decisions every day as to what's best for our children. My parents had me with a babysitter when I was two years old, and the first memories I have of my life are of being beaten and burned by this monster of a woman. Now, 25 years later I have my own beautiful son and the thought of him being with a stranger at home with a nanny or in day care scares the hell out of me. However my fiancee and I have to both work to financially survive. Not just to have a "spending spree" as someone else commented, but to pay the bills. I am lucky to have an alternative. My son's godmother (my sister-in-law) works at a daycare part time for four hours a day, so I will be enrolling my son there where he will be with a loving, farmilliar face who I am certain will be taking great care of him. If not for this I don't know what we would have done. The bottome line is this-nobody has a right to judge another woman for her decisions about her children and family. How dare anyone think that they are better than anyone else whether they work or stay home. Don't you think we all want our children to have the best possible life? Don't judge other people until you've walked in their shoes. That's just plain ignorant.

It always amazes me how as soon as I had a child people suddenly decided they had a right to put their noses in my business. I work full time, if I didn't, I would be crazy and divorced. I tried staying at home and it didn't work for me and my family. Does that make me a bad mom? Some people here would say yes. Nobody who actually knows me would ever think for even 1 second that I am anything other than a fantastic mom. Too bad about the women who are so insecure about themselves and their choices that they have to judge and criticize others to feel confident about what they do. If you want to stay home, you should stay home, if you want to work, work. It's really not that hard to figure out.

I can not believe how judgemental and mean spirited some of the comments are. Especially "stay at home mom" who " chose to do the right thing by staying home." That simply is a choice most people do not have. I waited until I was 38 to have my first baby but I have had to continue to work because my husband is in school. My daughter is 18 months old and has been in daycare since she was 3 months, initially full time and now part time. I can honestly say that she LOVES daycare. She lets go of my hand and runs into the room into the arms of her teachers EVERY MORNING. They color and dance and she gets to play with lots of kids. They all call her name and say Hi when she comes in the room. I do not have any friends with small children so she would have no contact with other children if not for daycare. All this interaction has made my little girl very social and very friendly. I am now having my second baby and although I can finally stay at home, I will be keeping my daughter in day care part time and will put my new daughter in a part time day care when she is older. I am thankful that I can keep her home with me until she is older, that is a choice I did not have with my first daughter. Everyone should support each other because we all love our babies and do the best with the circumstances we are given.

Every kid is different. If I could stay home, I would. But, my husband pays child support for two kids from a previous marriage, and that on top of the regular bills is a lot. I don't have a choice, so I have to work. But, I don't think my child would be antisocial or ignorant if I did stay at home. He has been in an at-home daycare since he was 2 months, and now he is 18 months. He counts to 10, spells his name, says tons of words and even speaks in whole sentences. When I take him to the park, he tries to hug the other children. He is very social. He is so energetic, now the woman who cares for him is getting overwhelmed because she cares for 3 babies younger than him. Now I think it's time to put him in a regular daycare center. There are pros and cons to that. Every situation and every child is different. I believe if you love your child and do everything you can to give him/her a good life, he/she will know it and will thrive. Stay at home, at home daycare, daycare center -- whatever. Kids are resilient and intelligent. No one should feel guilty for their personal situation.

I have changed my perspective slightly on this issue. Before having my son (now 14 months), I felt that the best place for him would be with one primary caregiver until 3 yrs of age. However, my son has surprised me by thriving in social situations. Currently, he goes to a regular babysitter 3 hours/day. I am considering putting him in a part-time Montessori daycare starting this fall because of his happiness in a more "busy" setting than a home. I think what this experience has taught me is that the particular arrangement that is best depends greatly on the temperament of the child.

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