XLII. The Chaos Within Freya

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She had managed to stand firmly and gave the instruction to Dunnford, Elaine, and Ray to deal with the burning Cerberus. However, if she were to be honest with herself, although she had managed to barely escape from the jaws of death, she was not in her top form to deal with the leader who ruled over the Extinct Formulae Magic users. Her stamina was drained from all the running she did.

Darkness crawled in the peripherals of her vision. The ground was tilting under her as if she was standing on a wooden plank floating on shaky sea. Everything was all swirly and unstable. To make matters worse, the opponent she was seeing and about to face right now was all curved and distorted in her eyes. She believed she was managing to put up a front and was staring back confidently at her opponent’s murderous glare, but she wondered how long she could keep up the façade. One thing for sure: if she were to show any weakness, her opponent would without a doubt make use of it.

She wished she could think of a way to stall for time and recover, however, thinking itself was proving to be hard to accomplish. Her head felt light and she was giving her all to cling to her consciousness.

‘aRe yOU a woRShIpPer oF thE sWOrd?’ Vath lifted up his bleeding arm and his hand pointed at the sword that Freya was holding beside her waist. Freya couldn’t tell if she was imagining it or if Vath’s bleeding had actually stopped. It was as if the wound was suppressed by his rage.

Vath had asked that question to achieve a purpose. The leader of Skulls had no intentions on chit-chatting with his enemy. Even though his eyes were giving a murderous glare of contempt at Freya, he still refrained from approaching her. Freya’s tough front had succeeded in making him hesitant.

As much as Freya would like to answer the question and possibly stall for more time to recover, she couldn’t. Her tired voice will give it away. And also, again: she was desperately clinging to her consciousness. She would like to think it through, but she was unable to.

She might have heard Vath’s question, but she couldn’t process it at all. If there was anything she gained from that exchange, it was that she still held Celeste with her right hand. It was reassuring for her to find out that she still had Celeste with her.

‘sO YoU’vE rAN OuT of BReaTh,’ Vath said.

Freya heard him, but what he said didn’t enter her head. All she could tell was that her opponent had figured out her slipping consciousness. Vath was marching toward her with stomps that left a trail of destruction on the ground.

Feeling the weight of her eyelids, Freya closed her eyes. And everything went dark.

When she opened her eyes, her vision returned to her. The darkness wasn’t creeping in the peripherals of her vision, the ground was not tilting, and the air was not swirling. But… she was no longer in Skulls’ base going against Vath. She was… elsewhere…

There she was, standing in front of an eclipse mirror wearing a pinkish white pajama. The same clothing that she had worn on the first morning when she had woken up as Freya. She was inside Freya’s bedroom inside the manor, staring at the mirror to see her reflection.

Violet hair that reached the neck and a pair of amethyst eyes.

Freya stretched her arm and touched the surface of the mirror. Her reflection was staring at her eyes. Her expression showed hints of sorrow. ‘This isn’t me…’ she muttered.

Unexpectedly, her reflection oddly smiled at her. ‘Then who are you?’ The reflection asked.

Freya returned to shaky ground and fell down to the floor because she felt that the world was upside down for a brief moment.

‘I ASkeD yOU: wHo Are yoU?’ The reflection repeated.

Freya’s world was spinning. She did not understand what was happening, but she gave the reflection a reply: ‘I don’t know! I’ve been wanting to know myself!’ That was the truth. If only she had a clue or time to discover who she was, then she would. But unfortunately, time was always merciless and it never gave the luxury for Freya to find her own identity. She had to live as Freya, aiming for a certain purpose, without being able to find answer for herself.

Not knowing who she truly was, ever since waking up as Freya, her world had always been a chaos. Whether it be an existential crisis of identity or a distorted world due to tiredness, both of them were the same wasn’t it? Her world was always chaotic after all.

The world was no longer tilting. Freya knelt on the ground. Her reflection was no longer acting up on its own.

A shadow loomed over her. Freya turned her head to the left to see what had caused the shadow. Jet black hair with a black and white uniform, Laguna was standing beside her. Her eyes were covered by her hair and her lips moved without making a sound.

3 months.

Her figure became darker and darker like the blackest of shadows. The darkness then spread out all around and made her see black again.

Again she opened her eyes. This time she was back in Skulls base against Vath. Her vision was still wobbly and distorted, the ground was still waving, and her head still felt light. To make matter worse: Vath’s right hook was traveling toward Freya.

Even though I don’t know my identity—Freya thought—and even though the world is chaotic and gets even more so as time passes…

I will still fight and press on.

Freya swayed to the right to evade Vath’s right hook. After successfully dodging without losing her balance, she swung Celeste and connected a slash to Vath’s body, wounding him.

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