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January 16, 2007

JAM 15th January

This week Clement joins Gyles Brandreth, Marcus Brigstocke and Pauline McLynn in the Mermaid Theatre in London - a show without Paul or Tony Hawks or Graham Norton. A good show needs a lead comic - will this show be sub-standard as a result?

Clement leads off with "mermaids". He says "I loathe mermaids". An early incorrect challenge from Gyles. Clement says "there are a number of things you shouldn't give a mermaid, like a bicycle." Marcus has the subject now saying they make useless girlfriends as you can't find a place to take them to dinner as they only eat fish. Clement challenges to say he knows mermaid who are carnivorous. There's a very silly atmosphere already. Pauline: "this programme could turn ugly!" Marcus quite competently reaching the whistle.

Second round led off by Gyles on "infamy". Will he use the famous Kenneth Williams phrase? No, goes into a historical monologue. Then into one of his favourite jokes "that was the chair Schmitt sat in when he was shot." he often brings in his favourite jokes whatever the subject. Gyles went for 52 seconds and Clement now has it. He doesn't use the Kenneth joke either, that Julius Caesar said "Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!"

Marcus starts with "my New Year's resolution". Says it's been ratified by the UN which means he doesn't have to adhere to it. He hesitates. Clement says his was to give up smoking, drinking and women. "I thought that would make me live longer but it only seemed so..." Dear me, a lot of favourite jokes today.

Clement starts on "the rat race". Pauline makes her first challenge, and it's on Clement's grammar. Nicholas turns it down, but says it's lovely to have her there. Pauline: "the token woman!" True things said in jest? Gyles has it now. "The rat race, I love it!" He's in good form, always good to have his different style of playing it. Clement goes into list, then hesitates. Gyles has it back "Dick Whittington was a very good production..." Marcus challenges, "there's never been a good production of Dick Whittington..." The audience join in the humour in panto-style, that's something a bit different!

Gyles starts with "London bridge". he interprets it as being about the card game. Rambling on... he says "I have to say... Clement interjects: "why does he have to say that?" Gyles now using his quadruped joke - he is very skilled at bringing these things in, whatever the subject. Clement says of "London Bridge is falling down... I simply don't believe it". He's doing well tonight. We could do with more from Marcus and Pauline though.

Pauline starts with "the blarney stone". She doesn't get far before Marcus interjects. This round is very stop-and-start. Nicholas doing his bad Irish accent. Gyles going on again. Not a memorable round. Talking about kissing, Nicholas flirting with Pauline. Clement says "my relationship with a blarney stone is purely platonic..." Not a bad line!

Clement starts with "Maid Marian". Marcus in, let's hope he goes for a bit. He is challenged for repeating "her'. Might have been better to let him go on. Clement does the joke about "Friar Tuck being a spoonerism"! Marcus and Pauline enjoyed that. Marcus challenged on BBC! Clement says he auditioned for the part of Maid Marian. Now Marcus is challenged on repetition of "she"... let him go a bit!

Marcus starts on "whippersnappers", it's the last round. Clement gets the subject, but says he doesn't want the subject. "Can I sell it?" Clement starts "you need a camera and a whip!" Gyles says "whippersnappers are ruining the world..." winding himself up into a frenzy. "Even the Pope is younger than Sir Clement Freud!" Gyles now describing Clement as "one of the wisest and most physically attractive men I have ever met"! Oooh err!

Results - Pauline in fourth place - she hardly ever had the subject! Clement in second. Joint winners today, Gyles and Marcus.

That was okay, bit of banter. We could have done with more from Marcus and Pauline....

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

not sure I even liked this one, simply for the reasons stated that it would've been nice to hear more from Pauline and Marcus, although once again I couldn't stand Nicholas' blatant flirtations with Pauline. as Derek Nimmo once said 'Nicholas is at the age that when a girl says no, he's profoundly grateful' although it seems to me the way this fool goes on with his unashamed flirtations that he puts powdered viagra in his tea or something, it's utterly annoying and completely unfunny I find.