“A Doula Story documents one African American woman’s fierce commitment to empower pregnant teenagers with the skills and knowledge they need to become confident, nurturing mothers. Produced by The Kindling Group, a Chicago-based nonprofit organization, this powerful film follows Loretha Weisinger back to the same disadvantaged Chicago neighborhood where she once struggled as a teen mom. Loretha uses patience, compassion and humor to teach “her girls” about everything from the importance of breastfeeding and reading to their babies, to communicating effectively with health care professionals.”

So I’ve written a few birth stories for other moms, but writing my own is always difficult for me. I don’t know why. There are so many different ways to process my birth and Im sure that not everyone cares for all the details, but at the end of the day, I write it out for me. For my own personal reading. I just invite the world to read it if they want to.

With that in mind.. Here is my best attempt at the details.

Isaac, my fourth baby, was new territory for me. My first pregnancy/delivery w/o the plan for an induction. As long as my blood sugar levels were in control, no matter how much insulin I was on (which turned out to be about 200 units a day there at the end), and the baby looked great (on the NST) then we would just wait for him to come on his own. **I will have to do a separate post about the process of waiting.**

At 39 weeks I lost my mucus plug. Well it was a gradual process, actually. On my last dr’s appt when I was 39. 4 (monday) I was 5 cm’s (same thing I did with Eva). I had been 4 cm’s for almost 2 weeks. I had been contracting off and on for weeks at this point. Prodromal labor. Stronger than braxton’s but not what you could classify as “active labor” contractions. HOWEVER, there was obvious cervical change. These ctx’s would come 10 min apart or 20 min apart for a few hours and then stop completely. And then not show up for two more days. On Wednesday the 12th (39.6 weeks), I woke up and felt different. Couldn’t say for sure what it was. I just felt, hopeful. Different. ***GROSS ALERT*** I had lost a big part of my plug, when I got up that morning.

So I decided to take the kids to the church drop in nursery service and go get a pedicure.. ya know, to keep my mind off of wondering when labor would start. I got to the church about 8:45 and headed to the nail place. I got there and in a chair about 9:30. As soon as I put my feet in the warm water I noticed the ctx’s. They weren’t “painful” but definitely noticeable. I could talk thru them, but would probably just be a little uncomfortable. So they kept coming. I’m a doula… so I refused to time them. What I mean is, Im so used too telling people not to time ctx’s until they are more intense and notice a strong need to concentrate, that I didn’t want to time my own. But for some reason, I kept glancing at my watch. I noticed they were coming every 5 minutes then one at 8, one at 5, one at 8. and so on. then it went to 4 and 7. After an hour of that.. and my toes were freshly painted, I called my friend Natalie (also my photog for the birth). She is preggers with her sixth baby and knows a thing or two about birth.

Let me say here.. the reason i was in denial about whether this could be labor is because up until this point I had never experienced a ctx without a synthetic hormone surging through my body. I’ve never had a spontaneous labor before. I thought for sure it would have to “hurt” worse for it to be “active.” (don’t worry.. I wasn’t disappointed).

I told Natalie what was going on but that it had only been happening for an hour and a half, yet these were the most consistent and close ctx’s I’d had up until that point. She told me about one of her births that followed the same pattern (the woman has had 5 births..so there is bound to be variety she can share from). She encouraged me to go get checked. I kinda felt the same need.

The dilemma then became what to do with my other kids. They were still at the church nursery, which you have to get your kids by 12 p.m. It was 11 a.m. I would only have one hour and I would have to drive to my doc’s office (which is the same location as the hospital). I called the nursery director, Alison, and told her what was going on and they were so excited and more than willing too take care of the kids past the time of normal hours. And even go get my kids some lunch. I told them that it was likely nothing and that I may only be about 30 minutes late.

I got to my doc and say “Alright, Ross (that’s dr. ross), just be warned: I don’t think this is labor. I’m sure you are going to check me and there won’t be any change from monday.”

He checks and says, “Weeelll, I think 8 cm’s is some good change.”

WHAT? No stinkin’ way. I was in complete shock. he suggested I go ahead and go downstairs to L&D, but not to get too ahead of ourselves because Isaac was still very high (-3 station). yeah.. exactly. That’s high. But he, Ross, was convinced that once my water broke, it would go quickly.

So within the hour I was admitted, had my heplock and was getting a strip on the baby. My hubby had arrived, so did Natalie, Christina, Jennifer, Martha (MIL), Darcy (mom), Rachel (little sister) and my sister Mishka and Livia (neice) were on their way from Montgomery. You could say there were quite a few people there.

and that’s Courtney, my nurse. She couldn’t stay for the whole time.. but I was thankful to have her. She was with me for Eva’s birth.

So we began the process of waiting.. My ctx’s had gone to about 5 minutes apart and were still not super strong. Everyone kept saying how easy it looked, but I kept reminding them that my water was still intact. Knowing Isaac was still so high, I decided to walk the halls.

and sit on the ball.But after two hours there was no change. Dr. Ross asked me if I wanted him to break my water and I declined. The dilemma was that I did NOT want any reason for them to have a “timeline” on me and if I didn’t have change fast enough, the Pit talks begin. The other issue was that Ross was on call for me even though he wasn’t officially on call. He mentioned that he did have an event at church that night but that he thought I’d have the baby before then. But I said I would try to do some nipple stimulation with the breast pump and walk more. The pump helped get the ctx’s to about 3 minutes apart. But once I got off the pump, they slowed down again. After another two hours the only cervical change I had was Isaac came down to a -2 station.

At this point, Dr. Ross came back in and said he cancelled his teaching gig at the church and would be “all ours” for as long as it took to have the baby. But he also suggested breaking the BOW. I didn’t mind doing that if Dr. Ross promised not to even mention the “P” word (pitocin) and that there would be no timeline/deadline. His exact words were, “Nope. No pit. I got your back. No Pit. Absolutely not.” So at that point (4 hours with no huge change) I opted for AROM. I was 8/90/-2. and of course after that happened. The ctx’s definitely picked up in intensity.I got in the shower 30 minutes after my water was ruptured and really enjoyed the distraction of the water. And within another 30 minutes I was 8.5/100/-1 I got back on the birthing ball and another 3o minutes I later I was 9/100/0. Back to the shower I went, but this time the ctx’s were so intense that even the shower wasn’t “doing it” for me anymore. I got out, went to the bed and had the hardest hour of the entire labor. I was on my hands and knees over the head of the bed and had a fan blowing right on me. The hard part was i would have a short ctx of about 90 seconds and then it was followed a minute later by a 3 minute double-peak ctx.

The double peak contractions were the hardest part. And because I had figured out the pattern of the “two different” ctx’s I was having, I would get through the shorter one ok, but then I would beat myself up mentally about the double-peak one coming next. I was so surprised that it hurt just as much as a pitocin ctx. I really thought it would be easier than the pit. But my friends, it turns out that transition is transition, no matter if you have Pit or not. In fact, my second nurse (shift change) Katie (also a friend), had an unmedicated pit birth with one of her babies and said she is convinced that the Pit isn’t really so bad in way of “pain” like we make it out to be, but rather, it’s transition that is the kicker. And that is difficult either way. I have to agree. Having done it both ways, I feel like I can have that solid opinion. haha.

So after that hour I was 10/100/0 at 7:18 (seven hours after admission to the hospital. 5 hours with no pain/or change. and 2 hours of real work). I normally am not a proponant of pushing at a zero station.. but Isaac was so big that the pressure to push was there immediately and I HAD to PUSH. So that’s what I did. I started at 0. And can I say here that the ctx’s were painful… but pushing was not. Even when that big boy was crowning.. it was such sweet relief to push. I was, once again, motivated and (oddly) convinced that he really was going to come out! LOL.

Yeah, lets discuss this position (below). I started out in a squat. And after one of the pushes I decided I wanted to recline. Weeell, at that point, there was no convincing me to move back up to that bar. I was staying put. It’s funny to look at this picture because it looks like such an awkward position to push in.. but it worked just fine. I was kind of on my left side leaning into Jorge, and sitting up.. yeah.. interesting.

And at 7:40 (22 minutes later) my sweet, big, Evan “Isaac” was born!

this is the moment (below) that I got my first real “look” at him. Katie was picking him up to weigh him and I said, “holy COW, he is huge!!”

Umm.. yeah he is!All 9 lbs 7 oz of him. What a little butterball. No wonder he took his time engaging.

the best Doc in all of Brookwood saying a prayer for our sweet baby and family! I really do love Dr. Ross. He did something for me that most doc’s would never do: be on call for their patient even when they aren’t the ones on call. He went above and beyond for us an is so patient and a great advocate for a mom’s birth plan. We love you Dr. Ross (not that I think he even reads my blog).

We are so blessed to have our fourth baby and third little man of the family. God has, as always, amazed us and our hearts are full to the brim.

I am so thankful for everyone that was there. I know it was a zoo. But I loved it and I certainly couldn’t have done it without you!

I know that before I start this post I should give three qualifying statements to open:

1. These are my opinions only. My goal in this post is just to talk through my experience and process it for myself. You are just reading in on my thoughts. I am not trying to persuade anyone.

2. I did not have a “natural” birth in the true sense of the word. I was induced and delivered unmedicated. There is a huge difference and I can elaborate on that later.

3. As I have stated before, I loved my two medicated births (in the sense of being medicated) and had no “issues” with an epidural. But I also chose to do this birth unmedicated.

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With that said I guess the easiest way for me to break down the “pro’s and con’s” of each is to just do a simple list. And since every woman’s body and each woman’s pregnancy is so different, none of these pro’s and con’s can be “the rule.”

Medicated: Pro’s:

You don’t feel much (if your epidural works). Main reason to get it, right? ;-P

You can adjust the amount of medicine released based on what you are comfortable with.

You are able to “relax” or sleep during your labor right up until its time to push.

Medicated Con’s:

-If you get too much med’s you can’t move at all and this doesn’t help when it’s time to push.

-The epidural is known to slow things down a bit. So your labor can last longer even though you can’t feel it.

-If your epidural doesn’t work, and you were counting on it working and then you have to go unmedicated, you will not be happy and then have a disdain for unmedicated. But that is only bc you aren’t prepared mentally, physically or emotionally to go unmedicated.

-(for me) the recovery time was slower with an epidural. After delivery I was lethargic and took a while before I could “get a grip” and not look like I was drugged.

-the baby can also have a harder time nursing after a medicated birth.

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Before I start the pro’s and con’s of an unmedicated birth I need to explain the difference between an unmedicated birth and an unmedicated natural birth. Natural means you go on your own. You are waiting for your body to kick into gear when the baby and your body are ready (i.e labor begins). My birth, unmedicated, was not natural in that sense. I was induced (because of a medical reason) and therefore some of the experience on my pro’s and con’s list I would not have had with a truly natural birth. Pitocin changes everything when it comes to labor.

UnmedicatedPro’s:

-I was more involved in my plans for delivery. I was part of the process rather than just being brought in and told what to do. I was being asked what my desires were. That was awesome to know that I was in charge of my delivery.

-Even with pitocin contractions (stronger and less breaks) I enjoyed feeling what was going on with my body and making adjustments according to what felt better.

-I truly bonded with my husband (he was my coach) in a way that I had not bonded with him in our other two births. I needed him more. He was my support. I was depending on him in a way I had never done before. We did it as a team. I also feel this about all those in the room with us (although more so with my husband). I truly feel like I could not have done it without the group effort. We were all apart of the process.

-I recovered quicker while at the hospital. I was able to go to the bathroom an hour after delivery. thats a big deal. I had the ability to move.

-I was exhausted from the delivery but only because of all the work that I did, not because I was lethargic from the drugs.

-I had a huge sense of accomplishment when I saw my body do something that I never thought was capable. There was, is, a huge sense of pride in that. But it came as a surprise bc that isn’t what I was looking for.. I wasn’t trying to be superwoman. I just wanted to experience it without meds.. but I ended up seeing how awesome it felt to “climb that mountain.”

Unmedicated con’s:

-(with pitocin) the strength of the contractions continued even after the baby was out. With natural, this would not have been the case. This made me less interested in holding Eva since I still needed to focus through the contractions until the placenta was out.

-(with pitocin) the contractions are stronger with less breaks.. it took me a while to get used to that. But this also meant that labor was very quick. I went from 6 to 10 cm’s in an hour and it was a lot of work and of course painful. But very quick.

-(with a face presentation) the pushing was very difficult. Her head was coming out wrong and I knew it (bc of no epidural). However, I believe that had she come out normally the pushing would have been the best part and a breeze. Because, even with a face presentation, once you get to where you know you need to push, the contractions are easier bc its your source of relief when you push with them. You are finally able to work with the uterus. For me, though, every time I was pushing her head was like “pushing a brick wall” that was my perineum. Not the case in a typical presentation.

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Overall I am so glad that I had the unmedicated birth. I really think it showed me some things about myself that I wasn’t aware of. Things that translate into other areas of my life and that are worth evaluating. I need to qualify that with the fact that one is not right or wrong. But I think it’s similar to the process of growing in maturity: if something could benefit you, whether or not you think that trait is necessary, it couldn’t hurt to do it anyway. Let me explain.

A truly natural birth teaches patience and full surrender. You are not in charge. You are waiting on your body to tell you when it’s time to deliver. Being three, or even five, centimeters dilated does not mean your body is ready. Going into labor means your body is ready. The patience it takes to do that is hard to attain to. It’s hot. You’re huge. Your body seems to be getting more and more tired everyday. Your have other little ones to chase and bottom line you may be just tired of being pregnant. All of those are normal feelings. I had them with all three of my pregnancies. However, to go natural means that you aren’t surrendering to your feelings. You are waiting for God to grow that baby as He designed your body to do. Obviously if there is a medical issue that requires getting them early, He also designed that they could survive outside of the womb by a certain number of weeks gestation but there is a risk there you have to be willing to take. you have to admit that “convenience inductions” are astronomically high these days. Being induced because you are miserable is, I believe, keeping people from experiencing true surrender and walking in true patience. Now you may be someone who induced out of convenience and say with a hearty “Amen, and I’d do it again.” And I am not saying you are wrong for doing it.. that’s for you and your man to decide. However, I would say it’s worth a look into how that would effect other areas in your life: physically, emotionally, spiritually as it relates to full surrender and walking in patience.

I had to ask myself during that weekend of trying all the wives tales to get the labor “going” trying to avoid pitocin that I knew was coming at 38 weeks if she didn’t come out before, would I be willing to wait if induction wasn’t in the picture? If I had normal blood sugar levels, no insulin and everything was like a typical, non-risk pregnancy, would I be patient enough to wait it out until 40-42 weeks until my body said it was time? That was a hard thing for me to process. If God designed my body in such a way that I would have that baby eventually (although it doesn’t feel like it) why am I trying to be the orchestrator of timing. Anyway, Im sure you get my point.. enough of that one.

The other thing I learned (more, common sense) was that I can disagree with the good M.D. It’s amazing to me, as I went through this process, how many woman do whatever they are told with no questions or dialogue with their doctors. If the the m.d says it.. it’s good as gold. You have a right to your opinion and no one knows your body better than you do. And I am not talking about being disrespectful here. But rather being knowledgeable about what’s going on with you and your body and knowing what would work best for you or saying that you are uncomfortable with something or would like to try something different. I know there are some that are non-confrontational and would never think to question what a doctor says, but there is dialogue that is not confrontation. Yes, doctors have way more training than we do, but still, they are not you. And you can disagree with them. Example: I self diagnosed my diabetes with the last two babies. When they “told” me I “needed” to come in (with Eva) for the blood glucose test I told them “no thank you.” It wasn’t my doctor who recommended it. And he was so surprised that I said I was going to pass and just monitor it with my glucometer at home. Now why was he so shocked? I believe it was because I wasn’t doing it by the system or protocol. But my reasons were legit. If you know someone is borderline diabetic, how is pumping that much sugar into their system a good idea when a glucometer will tell you the same thing after eating a normal meal? Now my husband disagreed with me and said I needed to take the test. So I did. I got an astronomically high number and felt terrible for two days. He then apologized and his exact words were: “I should have listened to you. You know your body better than anyone and I don’t want you to ever take that test again.” The same rule applies to pediatricians too. End point.

Lastly, I learned that YOU CAN DO IT!!! You can do an unmedicated birth and an unmedicated natural birth. If you couldn’t then God would have designed your body differently. Yes there is pain. That was given to us as part of the Fall of Adam but that doesn’t mean that your can’t actually deliver that way. You may doubt what you are capable of it, but believe me you can do it. HOWEVER, you have to be prepared. I don’t know how many times I was told “oh so and so went without an epidural and hated it.” And then I would ask, “were they planning on an unmedicated birth?” and every single time they were not. it was a case of not getting the epidural in time or it not working at all. Friends, that is not the same thing. I can’t imagine how much more it would hurt to labor or birth unmedicated when you are not mentally prepared for it. So on that note, when you are prepared for it and have a method for dealing with the pain, then I guarantee it will not be something you hate. You very well could decide to just do the meds the next time, but I doubt you would hate it. I feel like I can say that since I had a delivery that lands most women on the cutting table. Its just not normal to deliver a baby face up, face first.

So for all of you out there that may be considering a natural/unmedicated birth let me tell you three things:

-lack of knowledge leads to fear. What you aren’t well versed in will cause you to fear. Meaning, if you don’t know what to do to get through the labor then you will fear the labor. And then think you can’t do it. So learning and research are the key!

-Second, ONE CONTRACTION at a time. That’s how you get through it. In the moment. You take one at a time. Regroup and do it again. before you know it.. it’s time to push your baby out.

-I was most nervous about pushing the baby.. will i be able to handle the pain of her coming out, etc. And it was not near as bad as I thought..and thats with the face up, face first thing. ;-P

Well i think that’s about it.. if I forgot something I’ll let you know. So tell me what you think..