It’s been a long time, but I still miss you. I still regret losing you.

I can’t put my finger on exactly what went wrong, but the details don’t matter because I think the real problem was timing. Circumstances back then messed things up for us. Where we were in our lives… the challenges we were facing. I wish we’d been strong enough to get through it all together, but we weren’t… or at least I wasn’t. But I don’t think you were either. It was both of us.

I wish we’d met a few years later. If we had, I think there’s a good chance we’d still be together. I met you too soon. Even though it’s hard for me to say this because I’m so selfish, I really do hope you’re happy. A part of me, though, will always wish you were happy with me. You were the one. But you are also the one that got away.

Love,

p.s. — Did you save anything from ‘us’? My heart hopes you did but my head knows you didn’t. I still have the pictures you drew for me and the sculptures you made me. I’ve tried to let them go, but I can’t. A part of me will always love you. You were my best friend… and the love of my life. I bet you don’t even know that…

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About what sandra thinks

Sandra is a writer, blogger, poet, artist, emotional disaster. She thinks far too much and sleeps far too little. Sandra lives in the Northeastern U.S. but dreams of an oceanfront home in Hawaii where she could learn to surf. She loves books, brutal honesty, coffee, and the color black. She hates insincerity, beer, whipped cream, and facebook. And she is uncomfortable talking about herself in the third person.

It’s definitely too late for me. Like, in a million ways. I have no hope for anything with him. It would be too painful to even speak to him ever again at this point. And seeing him would break me. Good thing he moved away.

I definitely don’t buy that theory because I’ve not had another great relationship since him. Unless it “happened for a reason” means the reason was for me to be miserable. Is that it? Some higher power decided that my lot in life was to be miserable? That I didn’t deserve happiness? Maybe…

I guess I’ve always had shit timing. I can’t help but wonder if I’d be happy right now if I were with him. But… I’m still me and I have issues that always have been and always will be with me. I probably would have ruined things with him by now anyway.

disclaimer.

This blog occasionally includes sexually explicit material not suitable or intended for minors. By reading, you affirm that you are of legal age (18+) to view such content and you consent to do so. This blog may also contain profanity because I have a fucking dirty mouth. Hope you’re okay with it.