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PUBLISHED EVERT THURSDAY
41 -
EATON, on 10,
SI
L. O. GOULD.
TERMS Or SUBSCRIPTION!
la Advmnte
1V
Joa Pmrmw of in descriptions furnished' to
order, and guaranteed to prove eatisi actorj M to
CURRENT TOPICS.
ONE of the highest Spanish Officials in
this country has stated that Minister
Cuabing recently a;ked tbe Madrid gov
ernment, unofficially, whether it would
receive an offer to sell the island of Cuba.
The Madrid government replied that
such an offer would be deemed an insult.
The source of this information is entirely
trustworthy.
t
At the recent Tramp Convention in
Columbus, Ohio, Mayor Hibbard, of
Bichmond, Indiana, made , lengthy .4-
dress, stating that Statistics gathered by
, , ... - . '
Hint SbOWed that there were fully Slity
thousand tramps in the United States at
the present time, and that fully a million
1,1 , . , ,
dollars was expended upon them by the
public authorities during the last year.
He recommended some method by which
they could be forced to earn a livelihood
by noneat labor.
These are enrolled in the public
i i e .v tt . a n. . .
u Dliea elates 8,W,U
children. Tn the last fiscal year the av
erage daily attendance was 4,500,000.
Thirty-seven States and eleven Territo
ries report an increase in the public
school income of $1,232,000, and in at
tendance of children 164,000. The total
sum raised during the year by taxation
was $82,000,000, and the cost of public
education was about $74,000,000.
THE Texans are in Some things quite
OricinaL and in nothing mora on than in
. " : ...
matters Of education. Ther have hit
mn nl.n it . . ,
upon a plan regulating the pay of teach-
era that may stimulate the pedagogues
wuu euurts to please meir patrons.
.. ..... ....
though It loots as If It might result in
the total neglect of schools in sparsely
, . ofcuoaj
A bill baa just passed
1h Trialnlnra STini, m- ,-
ine Legislature nxing the remuneration
of the common school teachers of that
m . . . . . , , ,
Otate at ten cents per day for each pupil
in actual attendance.
BENJAMIN P. AVERY, Minister of the
United States in China, is reported to
nave Qiea at bis residence in Pekin, but
without further particulars. He was a
New York boy, went to California in
1849, and was for years connected with
the California press. He founded the
Ma'ryville Appeal in 1860, subsequently
ueuune editor or me aan f rancUco Bul
letin, and was editnr nf r.ha nl ;
Monthly when appointed Minister to
China about a year ago. His age was
iorty-Bix years.
The cities of St Paul and MinDeapo-
m, Minnesota, nave counted noses and
find that the former has-a population of
66,iil and the latter 32,720. As the
latter is gaining, a union of the two
northern cities is proposed, under the
name of Minneapolis a euphonious
comoination of (jreek and Sioux. This
will tend to gather the joint municipal
ity around that enormous water-Dower.
the Falls of St. Anthony, and as the
city limits are now only two miles and a
half apart, the project looks feasible
enough.
COL. EOSADA, Who commanded the
expedition to Cuba, in the Steamer
-t . .
Uruguay, nas made a report to the Asm-
ciation of the Independencia de Cuba.
InO vessel, be says, was wholly unfit for
service, and could attain little over five
miles an hour. The supply ef coal was
insumcient, and provisions shert When
41. .... 1
el icwuu vuoa nine men were
landed to reconnoiter, but the place was
so dangerous to vessels it was impossible
to land any part of the caro or anv
soldiers. Meanwhile the Spanish author
ities had been informed, and they had to
make the utmost speed to Jamaica. The
arms furnished were of an inferior qual
ity. He blamed the agents' for negli-
gciiw in uu,mg out ine vesseL,-
Thfbe have been sixteen Vice-Presl
denU of the United States chosen by the
people. Four of these have died
office George Clinton, of New York,
April 20, 1812, having served a little
more than seven years; Elbridge Gerry,
of Massachusetts, November 23, 1814,
naving served a year and a half; AVm,
. js. Jung, or Alabama, April 18, 1853,
about six weeks after the inaueuration.
having been too ill to take his seat : and
Henry Wilson. Only one Vice-Presi
dent, John C. Calhoun, ever reip-ned
n . ...... ' 6
.iQree, Ayier, illlmore and Johnson,
were canea to nil vacancies in the Pres
idential chair, occasioned bv the deaths
of Presidents Harrison, Taylor and Lin
coln,
Chancellor Bruce, of Louisville,
delivered an opinion in the case of
Loretto Literary and Benevolent Insti
tute and others against Harry L. Pope
and others, civinc indement .rrout
Pops for $72,170, and against his sureties
for $30,000. This action grew out of
roDDery 01 tne old Louisville Mechanics'
T u e L- t
XianX, Of Which rOOe Was rjtfhier
Which occurred in 1 87f Pi.i.ir.k.j
- --.v. . .m.uuuo
a large sum of money deposited at
bank, and sued Pope and his sureties
the amount. The petition was once
missed, but ttiA fV.nrf A nnoola
vpraAJ tJl - ; , Si .1
ucvuuuu. ttuu viuuiceiinr
Bruce has also reversed his first decision
on the ground that the robbery occurred
41 : .....
.u.UU UD negligence 01 ine cashier.
An i VST! ..
vjwjiiui, nieconsin. recentiv.
livery-stable keeper owned a horse
had owned for twenty years, and which
had served him faithfully. He decided
that the old horse should have an
burial, and procured, at
- expense of sixty dollars, an elegant
made of walnut and cherry, mounted
with silver-plated trimmings, and therein
deposited the remains of the horse.
procession was formed at the stables,
and marched through the principal
streets of the city in the following order
1. Band-wagon and brass band, followed
by a truck-wagon drawn by six
with the remains of the horce :
following, and decorated with crape,
the male of old Tom ; then came
friends in carriages, numbering twenty
two in all
Sis
av w it. . -4. . Jtv iv fat k. , cHia
L. G. GOULD. Publisher.
DcYoted to tie Interests of the Democratic Party, anitlie Collection of Local and General News.
Terms, $1.50 per Annum, in Advance.
VOL. IX-NO. 3.
EATON, OHIO, THURSDAY; DECEMBER 16, 1875.
WHOEE"NiJMBER- 450.
THE EDITOR'S GUESTS.
BY WILL M. CARLETON.
The Editor at In his sanctum, hii countenance fur-
rowed with care
Hi mind at the bottom of business bis feet U the
top of a chair ;
His chair-arm aa elbow supporting, his ri ;ht a
upholding his head ;
His eyeson bisdusty old table, with different docu
ments spread
There were thirty long pages from Howler, with un-
aerunea capnais I op pea,
And a short disquisition from Growler, requesting
his newspaper stopped ;
There were lyncs from Uusher, the poet, concerning
sweet nowerete ana zepuyrs,
And . ririr Mm from Plodder, the fsrmer. desCrib-
ing a couple of heifers: .ult
from a grocer or two,
And wrS'.h.
nm were raptures of praises from writers ol the
smooth and mellifluous school.
And one of his rival's last papers, informing him he
lhereWw"er.verl long resolutions, with names
telling whom they were b7,
Canonising some harnilessoldbrotherwho had done
nothing worse thin to die ; -
Tb VrM to.mi ht; h,m' "d
There were gilt enterprises to sell him, and biters
There "SSSSilr from the city, and
mnnev with never a one.
Which added, " Please give this inrertien, and send
in Tour bill when vou're done
There were letters from organizations their meet-
I ines. their wants sod their laws
WWch uM, Can you print this announcement for
the sood of our glorious csuse ?"
There were tickets inviting his presence to festivals,
parties, ana snows,
Wrapped in notes, with " Please give as i notice,
demurelv slipped In at the close:
In short, as his eye took tbe table, and ran o'er its
ink spattered trash.
There was nothing it did not encounter, excepting
perhaps it was cssn.
The Editor dreamily pondered on several ponderous
things :
On different lines of action, and the pulling of affer
ent strlogs ;
Upon some equivocal doings, and some unequivocal
I On how few of his numerous patrons were quietly
- . .prompt-paying onee ;
on Menus woo suoBcnoea just to neip mm, -ana
wordy encouragtnient lent,
I And had give him plenty of counsel, but never had
id him . nt .
of hom."lwmrted peopto were in him
Who saw not toe won tneywere aoing, out won-
'I Jm) that iwlntm. mm mnr
On several intelligent townsmen, whose kindness
. wasso without stint,
That ther kept an eye on his business, and told him
I just what he should print:
On men who had rendered him favors, and never
poshed forward their claims
So long as the piper was crowded with locals eon-
talning their names ;
On various other small matters sufficient his temper
Hj.h, , m.w. ,. Mt of .
fcdltor noli,
And one may see that his feelings could hardly be
I And he needed come pleasant occurrence his awak-
ThtfeUowPthat'sUpriotinW,nuAr isgoln-for
ened emotions to soothe :
He had it ; for lo, on the ttarwhold, a slow and relia
ble tread.
And a farmer inraded the sanctum, and these are
the words ne sa.a.
"Good mora In', sir, Mr. Printer; how is your body
to-day T
I'm glad you're to home ; for you fellers is al'ays
Tour paper last week wasn't so spicy nor sharp as
ine one wees oeiuro j
But I s'pose when the campaign is opened, you'll be
roil nrettr smart
And our folks said this morn in at break fast, they
thought ne was gettin me siaru
But I hushed em right up in a mioit, and said a
good word for you ;
I told 'em I believed you was try in' to do just as well
as you knew ;
And I told 'em that some one was sayin', and who-
erer 'twas it was so,
I Thai you can't ezect much of no one man. nor
blame him lor wnat be dun t Know.
But, layiu aside pleasure for business, I've brought
you my Utile boy Jim,
And 1 thougnt I would see if you couldn't make
an iMiiior ouieu o uiui.
" My family stock is increasin', while other folks'
seems to run short ;
Ie got a tight smart of a family it's one of the old
fashin' sort.
There's Ichabod, Isaac and Israel, a workin' away
on the farm
They do 'bout as much as one good boy and make
things go off like a charm.
There's M uees and Aaron are sly ones, and slip like
couple of eels ;
But they re tol'able steady in one thing they al'ays
git fount! 10 max luesis.
ThtebusinvenUn' (though what he ln
last And Joseph is studyin' medicine, and they're both
nf atn ) ut.nl in' with
" There's Abram and Albert fa married, each work-
I AndfSamstiiasbedhisnoseatashootin'ndsoheis
in
And poetry, too, is constructed by machinery of
ferenl desizns.
I Eich one with a gauge and a chopper to see to
has
the
laid on the shelf.
The rest of the boys an all growin' 'cept this little
runt, which is Jim ;
And I thought that perhaps I'd bemakin' an Editor
outeno mm.
He ain't no great shakes for labor, though I've la
bored with him a good deal,
And give him some strapplo' good arguments I know
he couldn't helo Out to feel.
But he's built out of second-class timber, and noth-
ln' about him la big, .
Exceptin' his appetite only, and there he's as good
aaapig.
I keep him carryin' luncheons, and fillln' and
tirln.ia ine lues.
And take him among the perUtoes, and set him
niokm tta. I.iiph t
And then there is tniogs to be doin' a helpin' the
women in doors
There's churnin' and dishln' of dishes, and other de
scriptions of chores ;
But he don't take to nothin' but victuals, and he'll
wtrer hit much 1 m afraia.
So I thought it would be a good notion to learn him
theKditor's trade.
His body's too small for a farmer, his judgment
rather too slim.
But I thought we perhaps could be niakin' an Editor
outen nun.
It ain't much to get up t paper it wouldn't take
mm long to learn ;
He could feed the machine, I am thinkin', with
some good strappin leuow to tarn ;
And things that was once hard in doin' is easy enough
now to do
Just keep an eye on your machinery, and crack your
arrangements rigni tnrougu i
I used for to wonder at readin' and when it was
up and how ;
But 'tis most of It made by machinery I can see
all plain enougn now.
lensth of the lines :
And I hear a New York clairvoyant is running
slicker than grease.
And a rentin' her heaven-born productions at
couple ol aoiiara apiece,
And since the whole trade has grown easy, 'twould
be easv enough. I've a whim.
If you was agreed, to be niakin' an Editor outen
U JI1U.
The Editor sat in his sanctum, and looked the
man in the eye.
Then glanced at the grinning young hopeful,
. mmiraiiiiiv mail, uia reoiv :
" Is your son a small unbound edition of Moses
rowmon now r
I Can he compass his spirit with meekness, and stran-
the c. JiSS TlXZL, to the future, and
his heart in his cheek ?
i van ne uo an nour s wora m a miouie, auu iitc
onrl .ixnencaa week f
ne courteously talk loan equal, and brow-beat
uau id impudent ounce r
the Can he keep things in apple-pie order, and do half
for Can he press alitheipringsof knowledge with
dis- And "00.. how much to know,
w I knows how to not know too much ?
I he kuow how to spar up his Tirtue, and put
i ctiecrein on dis onae i
?!Z7J 3Tlem"'' mMnera wltbin
Can he knowill, and do all, and be all with
fulness, courage, and vim
If so, we perhaps can be ma kin' an Editor outen
n
he
ex
traordinary an
box
A
:
horses,
closelv
was
the
The farmer stood curiously listening, while
bis visace o erspreaa.
And he said'-Jim, 1 guess we'll be goin' ; he's
ably out of his bead.
But lo 1 on tbe rickety staircase, another
tread,
And entered another old farmer, and these are
words he said
Good morning, sir, Mr. Editor; how Is the
to-oav f
I owe for next year's paper ; I thought I'd come
ana pay.
And Jones is goin' to take it, and this is his
here :
I shut down on lendln' it to him, and then
him to trv it a Year.
And here is a few items, that happened last week
our town ;
I thought they'd look good for the paper, and
iuat inttfd Vm down.
And here is s basket of cherries my wife picked
nrM.lv for vnu.
And a small bunch of flowers from Jennie
thought she must send semetbin too.
You're doin' tbe politics bully, as all of our
agree;
Just keep your old goose quiU a floppin', and
'cm a good one for me.
And now you are chuck full of business, and I
be takin' Tour time :
I've things of lay own I must 'tend to good day,
I believe 1 will climb."
The Editor sat in his nnctum, and brought down
his fist with a thump :
' God bless that old farmer !" he muttered, " he's a
regular jolly old trump I"
And 'tis thus In our noble profession, and thus It
will ever be still,
There are some who sppreciate its labor, and some
who perhsps never will,
But in the great time that is coming, when Gabriel'a
trumpet shall sound.
And tbey who have lsbored and rested shall come
from the quivering ground
When tbey who have striven and suffered to teach
and ennobled the race
Shall march at the front of the column, each one in
his God-given place
As they piss through tbe gates of The City, with
proul and victorious tread.
The Editor, Printer, and " Devil" will travel not far
from tbe head.
MY COUSIN JOHN'S WIFE.
a
dif
mi the
to
is
got
it
one
a
old
and
and
carry
ou
quick
and
a
cheer
tKn.i. Every respectable family should have
a Cousin John. I will proceed to say
that I have a Cousin John. I wish
I could add that he had always
been an ornament to society, an honor
to himself and the " flower of the fam
ily." A strict regatl ior veracity it
answers my purpose upon the occasion
forbids any such observation on my part.
I am obliged to say this masculine
specimen of our ancient race was abso
lutely the fag-end of our characters. Seem
ingly, be was the recipient of what was
left af ter furnishing the heads and hearts
of all the others. When the grand dames,
aunts or uncles, desired to illustrate any
particular vice, John was held up as the
frightful example. Not that he was an
assassin, a highwayman or a politician.
He was simply a maelstrom of careless
ness and generosity. If it had not been
for the good luck which always followed
him he would have made a first-class
vagabond. As it was, he made out to
be a well-dressed, handsome "good fel
low;" Beyond that he could not be
trusted, and then only when one's eyes
were on him.
I was Fitting in my solitary parlor one
morning, in momentary expectation of
receiving an appeal from sister Jane to
hasten to "The Maples'," as the twins
were down with the measles; a summons
from Aunt Hannah to bid her a last,
lingering farewell lingering is the
proper word, as I bad been through the
ceremony seven times--and an invitation
from Cousin Sarah to run over and turn
her black silk. Besides that, I had my
own sorrow. My Tabby had been invisi
ble for two days. The evening before
she disappeared she had refused the fifth
saucer of milk for her supper, and ap
peared pensive. I feared she had commit
ted suicide, or wandered out into this un
feeling world, because neighbor Brown's
Tab had jilted her for Mrs. Bay's green
eyed, black, ugly feline she had the au
dacity to call " Beauty." .
Just then, as I was bitterly regretting
that I had not taught Tabby, lrom my
own experience, something ot the fickle
nets of the world, and mankind in par
ticular, who should come blundering in
but John. Of course he upset a chairt
overturned my work-basket, knocked a
book off the table, stepped on my weather
oracle toe, and tumbled into my best
chair with a crash. Then he reached
over to the stand beside me, and, taking' a
pin, began to draw hgures upon my
rose-wood writine-desk.
" tiood morninir. John," l remarKeo.
' Say, Sebrina, he replied, jabbing at
his forehead with a pin, " 1 am to be
married next week."
" You surprise me. John !
" Doubtless : but it's a settled fact I
have purchased that little cottage on the
bill yonder. It is prepared ior ine Dnue.
JNow you want to jro over ami make tne
place home-like. Have a jolly supper
ready on next inursaay nigni wnen we
come. You can, Sebrina ; you have no
husband."
"John." I cried, "it isn't for me to
say. I might have had a dozen husbands,"
with a touch of pride.
" And all died of a broken heart," he
laughed. " But will you gof '
Havin? survived in the championsbiD
of my own cotrnomen until I had arrived
at a respectable age, I was accustomed
to being a convenience. 1 minx our
family bad a habit of considering it a
charity to make me useful. Therefore I
didn't say " Nay, John."
In due time I went over to tbe cot
tage. It was cozy and pleasant, save tbe
varnishy odor which always clings to
new furniture. How the relatives did
run over that place! What comments
were made! They ended the siege at
last by declaring, now that John was to
be married, he would be entirely lost un
less his wife had sufficient decision to
insist upon the turning of a new leaf in
his conduct. And as he had been so
neglectful as to consult none of them,
probably she was an unsuitable person,
They came. John introduced me
" My wife Mattie," with a great flourish.
My heart misgave me. "My wile mat-
tie " was a tiny pink and white doll,
with a profusion of light curls and friz
When- 1 looked into her large,
laughing blue eyes, I almost cried when
1 thought now sad tney would grow un
der John's treatment. I promised to re
main with them until Mattie should
become acquainted with the place. She
had lelt an immense number ot sisters
and brothers John was sure to marry
into a laree family ana would be lonely.
tor a whole lortuiclit everything was
lovelv: John was devoted, punctual and
altogether a model husband ; Mattie was
a perlect pattern ot a nousewiie, iovei
and happv. jt was "John, dear,'
and " Mattie, darling," until I was fairiy
wild for a good, healthful snarl from
Tabbv, who had returned to her home,
Uut when John was a month married
he was more lawless than ever. He for-
ot to order the repast for dinner until
le came but four days out of five
forgot to ceme home to dinner.
threw oil all household cares, xie
eveu growing careless in his dress,
threw everything into oisoraerwnenever
he entered the cottage. The pink
Mattie's cheeks began to change to white,
and the laugh in her eye to a sob. Evi
dently she bad been a favorite at home,
and was sorely grieved. I longed
comfort her, but 1 did not know what
of
wonder
prob
reliable
the
folks
in
money
coaxed
In
so
ex-
she
family
give
won't
sir
She was sitting before the grate
evening, waiting tea, as usual. " I
he will not come," she said,
a sigh ; "I do wish John wouldn't do so
"But he will," I replied; "it's
way."
" It is?" with a little start.
" Ye?, indeed. He was very foolish
marry, considering his negligence.
the relatives pity you," I went on, in
effort to console her, "and if it becomes
unbearable, some of them will blame
you."
Perhapg tbe fire in the grate flamed
up her cheeks. At all events, they
crimson. She thrust both hands
her curls, and then said, sweetly :
"We may as well have tea, Cousin
Sebrina."
John came in at half-past eleven,
overflowing with glib excuses. Mattie
stood on tip toe and kissed Viim
more of the old look than I had seen
days. After my bint, she might
taken a decided stand in the camp,
I was awakened next morning by
tie's clear voice twittering a ballad. At
breakfast she informed me that I must
not go home as I intended, but was to
remain another month. In pity, I did,
but I regretted it. It isn't necessary to
put in all the agony of those days. Suf
fice it to say, that in less than a week
that house was the heaven of confusion.
Mattie trotted round under an arch lit
tle hat, finding congenial spirits. She
forgot all her house-wifely ways; we had
" Dieces in our hands." For a time I
never saw two persons so utterly delighted
with each other's shiftlessness. Blacking
and powder, boots and bonnets, found a
place in the sitting-room; the parlors
boasted of mere refined articles, such as
collars, cuffs, slippers and laces.
John began to be rather illy provided
with shirts. Calling for one of those
clean articles as a necessary part of a re
ception toilet, Mattie laughingly said :
"Now, isn't it too funny! I really
forgot you needed a clean shirt. Six are
rough-dry in the closet, three I forgot to
put in the wash, and the others haven't
a button on. But you will not mind
waiting, darling, and Cousin Sebrina
will sew them on."
" We are late already," replied John,
almost savagely.
As might have been expected, we bad
a late breakfast, the next morning. Mat-
tie presided at the table, collarless, bair
- I 1 1 1 J . .1.
in aisoruer, anu Hiippera uowa at ine
kA.l. ri'o rllLnnaitfnn luini. alltvhfltr
ruffled, he was inclined to carry it fur
ther, and be displeased. He blundered
over his coffee, and bade us good-morning.
We were to lunch for dinner. Jby
some oversight, John came home. Me
was evidently hungry, and everybody
knows what an abominable creature a
hungry man is. I have long looked for
popular indignation to do away with
"emotional insanity" in case of mur
der; and I am satisfied "influenced by
hunger" will be the next plea.
" Mattie," said be, in a towering rage,
" when I married vnu. vou Wftrft neat.
orderly, and endeavored to please me.
Should a husband come to such a dinner
as this? Really, madam, if I had need
nf ilia nvirltrAn T ta l-i -Mil A 11.3 c-wrvn in
ui vuc tuiivuj m. nivuiu ft-? kwu luua. iu
your dressing-room as in the kitchen for
And so he went on a full quarter of an
linnr hiiVihlino- nvpr anrl fflirlv livirl with
rage. I expected a great scene. But
Mattie sat very still and placid until he
paused, because he was too angry to go
on. Then she arose, and going over to
him, said :
" My dear John, yon astonish me 1 I
most earnestly desire to please you. I
am merely following your example.
When I married you, you regarded my
every wish. Now, you forget to provide
for me, or give me money to keep myself
lrom tt trving. If 1 wanted your boot',
I should find one pair under the sitting
room tofa, and another under tbe kitchen
table. It follows that my tea-kettle
might with propriety be found on the
best bed. When I was married, my
father said I must pull the same way my
husband did in a well-matched team,
one impulse controlling both. I tried to
be a dutiful wife. I shall take the path
vou mark out for me."
She smiled as she ceased, but John saw
bow firm vhe was in the set. red lips.
He looked over to me, just as I nodded
approvingly.
" She's right," he gasped ; "I'll run to
the market for a mutton-chop." We
had a jolly little dinner, after all ; John
was a reformed man
The relatives all wonder what course
John's wife took with bim. Far be it
c . . 1 1 . 1 1 rc .11
irum me 10 utp wuut x iuos. ut nu
abominable things, the most abominaoie
is to take a-i vantage ol heme an inmate
- - ----- r: --,... . " .
oi one s lamuy to oiazon aooui its secret
worn Itnr. I npvpr spa a rtnr.lpnr. witA
. u...i. ji . 1.4 a r.
euuuruiK u iiueuauun uei;it:i;b, auu iui-
ever ngnung wnat ne nas wrongea, nui
1 reel like sitting down and telling them
about John 8 wife.
Christmas Gifts.
[New York Correspondence Baltimore American.]
to
my
he
He
was
and
in
to
to
Amnno- tha mrwf. faahl AnnVilA rrifia nf
rliA union spa t.hA ni-Atr.w rtrtvAa nf vopv
nhniro atortnnArv t.hA 11 UA nf which
obligatory upon those who would be con
sidered within tne psie ot society, ana
tbe cost of which is serious to young
ladies who have a large circle of friends
nnrl nnnllnintancAB.
.... . ..-
hi.... inca ... in. 1 1 r t nrt nnta Can?. Iu...
dore d with minute lines of varied color.
or with black and gold, and stamped with
monogram u maccn, are among ine new-
eat aDd prettiest styles offered, and are
even more desirable than a similar style
of note paper stamped with minute, but
brilliant little birds and insects, whose
wings oi gom and enamel are nne
lewels.
A new style ot lewelrv is ottered, but
does not succeed in winning high favor.
It is made of platinum, set in red gold,
and has a checked surface, the squares
being finished so as to produce different
effects. Neck chains and pendants are
rather losing ground, although many
very beautiful new styles are on exhibi
tion, but fashion has decreed that the
neck shall be dressed very plainly, par
ticularly when the dress is worn high,
and the elegant necklets and throatlets,
therefore, which have been in vogue
long, are on tbe decline.
Ut rings, hardly any are sold for ladies
but diamonds and amethysts, panel-
BhnnAil AlaHnrntAlv HAr. anr! mnnntArl
....... . ., . ... ' J -
With brilliant-, either in monogram
small flower patterns. Uentlemen
..rnvmi. anma anA tli. anlinim ltA.rla
.... ....,. ..- -1.,
finely cut, bring high prices.
Ubatelaine bags lor ladies are more
strictly fashionable than ever, but they
are more costly and more permanent,
't'l .M -.1 r l.l 1- ..,.1 ..... L.
xm, n.cmauc.
ver mountings or or soiia Sliver, ncniy
chased acd ornamented. Besides the
one
pre
sume with
!"
his
to
All
an
a lovely little mirror, set in a silver
frame, is hung from a pendant chain,
and also a small chased powder flask.
Chatelaines were made in silver,
even in solid gold several years
when the revival of this appendage
took place, but ladies were so afraid
that time that the ftshion would not
long enough to warrant the expenditure
that lew were purchased, and mucn
the stock therefore remains, which
now be turned to account, for a hand
some chatelaine of salid silver, to which
bag, fan and any other accessories
be attached, is a very desirable posses
sion, and one to which the most lastidi
ous will not object.
were
into
with
for
have
A few days since a former St.
insurance agent, named McRoberls,
suicid? by drowning near Nash
ville. He tied his hands together with
cravat to prevent his trying to save
He was one of the fii st to swim
Ohio river on Morgan's raid into
and one of the last who tried to
back to the Kentucky shore on the
southward.
WHAT are they adulterating coffee
now ? While Mr. Nanzle. of New
j was heating some the other day, it
' i i i ii: i : .
Mat- ploded, scalding his entire countenance,
OHIO.
SIXTY-SECOND GENERAL ASSEMBLY,
1867-77.
SENATE.
Republicans are designated by an .
1 Hamilton...
Butler and Warren-
Montgomery and Preble-.
Clermont and Bmn
Oreen, Clinton and Fayette.Aaron Spangler
nigniana ana noss.
Adams, Pike, Kcieto, Jack
son ...
Lawrence, Gallia, Meigs,
Vinton ..
Athens. Hocking, Fairfield
Franklin and Pickaway
Clark, Champaign, Madison.
Miami. Darke and Shelby...
Logan, Union, Marion, Har-
ain..
24 Ahubuia.LakeandOeauza
I .S ritvahiiM
1 o
Joshua II Bates
Henry Kessler
Edwsrd P Hansom
E P Kleinschmidt
Peter M Dechant
Abncr Haynes, r.
nenry v Kerr
A L Brown
L T Monahan
John R Philson
Robert E Reese
William Miller
WmRWa-neck
Nathan R Burresa
14 "Washington, Morgan, part
oi ouie.M.........M......m.
15 Muskingum and Perry .......
16 Delaware and Licking.....
171 Knox, Morrow, Wayne and
SSf Holmes
18 Coshocton and Tuscarawas.-
19 Guernsey, Monroe, part of
noDie - ....
20 Belmont and Harrison
21 Carroll and Stark
22 Jpfleraon and Columbiana.
23 Mahoning and Trumbull.. .
Portage and Summit
27 1 Medina, Lorain, Asbland
29 1 and Richland
90 Huron, Erie, Sandusky, Ot
tawa
$1 Seneca, Crawford, Wyandot.
32 Allen, Auglaize, Defiance,
Mercer. Psuldios:. Van
Wert and Williams .
Fulton, Hancock, Henry,
xucas, rutnsm ana n 00a.
William W Beatt y
Richard Stanton
Elias Ellis
James W Owens
John Ault
Edward C Lewis
Joseph B Williams
samuel Knox
Albert R Hains
Jno K Rukenbred
Jos R Johnsten
8 S Burrows
Hsrvey W Curtis
.luliust; hnenck
Marvin Kent
Andrew M Burns
John H Hudson
Edson T Stlckney
Wm Rheriden, ir
Geo W Andrews
T P Brown
Charles J Swan
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.
I AJJJH;
I AunUir-T.Z
I Belmont f
I t
1 J5ofQ
KAStKS.
Adams...
Allen.
Ashlsnd-.
Cuyahoga..
Darke
Defiance and I'auldirig
Delaware-....'.........
Erie
Fairfield
Fayette
Franklin (
Fulton
Gallia.
Geauga .......... ...
ureeoe.
Butler
champaieu
I Clark .
I cunton
Columbiana
Coshocton...!
1 Lawrence...
Licking
t"."
1 loam.
I
Madison.
xr.hnnin...
1 stanon.
Guernsey.
Hamilton .,
Hsncock.............
Hardin...... .. .
Harrison ................
Henry
Highland
Hocking...............
Holmes.
Huron............
Jackson
Jefferson........... ..
Knox
Lake.
Medina .
Meigs
1 Mercer.
Miami
Monroe.......
Noble..
I Ottawa.
Perry
Pickaway
Pike.
Portage.....
rreoie...
Union..
Van tVert.
Vinton.
Warren
1 ouiumcj j ,
I Morgan
1
I Muskingum
I Putnam
I ....... ..-...... .-
Ross.
fc'ill0Joukr'
Seneca.
Shelby.
stark.
Summit..
Trumbull.
as Tuscarawas
Washington
Wavne
Williams
Wood
Wyandot.
.....
Joseph W Eylsr
Michael Li itaker
Beniamin Mvers
W PHowland
Chas H GroRvenor
John H Mesloh
Eli W Cleaver
William Bundy
l-.pnraira l-laugner
.lames r. neat
Jacob Kemp
Joseph Carnahan
"i nos a uowgiu
Jno F Oglevee
Samuel A West
Isaiah W Quinby
vr. d nouoway
David Boyce
E L Lylarger
Jacob G Meuser
Orlando J Hodge
M L Democv
John Fehrenbach
Theodore Brack
Harry Sorter
s A Hosteller
AsaToberen -
John A Carothers
James Douglass
Abraham Beilert
Wm Millikan
John C Groom
Geo L Converse
John Fen I on
Elijah A Stone
Peter Hitchcock
Isaac M Barrett
Tbos S Luccock
L Burkhardt
Peter F Stryker
Geo W Skaats
Gabriel birr
Roswell M White
Wm P Wiltsee
Sylvester W Bard
John zumsteln
Herman P Gocbel
Alex Phillips
John Halev
Anthony 0 Nixon
Allrea it sneoie
Henry C Dawson
Wm M Bowen
Moses A Uoagland
Evert Bogardus
A B Moaifhan
ltees G Kicharda
Abel Hart
Hosiner G Tyron
r.lias xtign
William 1) bmltB
Duncan Dow
John H raxon
R C Thompson
Conrad Huberlch
John N Beach
Joseph Barclay
John D Gulhi-ry
E S Perkins
Alban Davis
G W Raudabaugh
Joseph c Ullery
James Watson
George A Grove
Emanuel Shultx
Thoe F Thresher
Chas S Cory
Thos E Duucan
Harvev E Cogsil
Lantech Rani bo
James M DalzeU
Lebbcus Cole
Emanuel R Raker
Chas 1- kininiel
John W Washburn
Orvil Blake
Albert J Hawley
Geo w L.IK01
Robert Barnet
John C Enterkin
Beninmin Inman
John T Sellards
James A fiorton
.1 M Caraon
Johnson Sherrick
I R G William J
David J Eiwards
Thm J McLain
William Johnson
French Garwood
Joseph C Ktunip
Andrew J Swaim
Thos M Wales
Gilbert Smith
Henrv Bohl
Thos A McCoy
George W Money
Edwin K sage
Louis A Brunner
SENATE. Republicans, 20; Democrats, 17.
HOUSE. Republicans, ; Democrats, 46.
Occupations.
so
. , . .I. . , j t
Or F; Vme'r and lTw7er i Farmer
are Dnunrist. 1: Farmer and Mechanic, 1 ; Farmer
I frain Merchant. It PtlTSicianS, 10; EdltOlS,
- A PllDil9h, 2: Merchants, 9; Merchant
d Manufacturer, l; Bankers, 2; Bankers
Manufacturers, 2; Maenmist, 1; uruggisis, 2;
chant, 1 -, Civil Engineer, 1 ; Civil Engineer
JjlWVer, 1 J WOOien JUaiiuiuciurer, , , .miuncr
Tbe various trades and professions of the members
are represented as follows :
SENATE Lawyer, 12: Farmers,?; Funnerand
Physician, 1 ; 1'hysiriaus, 6 ; Editor and Publisher,
3; Manufacturer, 1 ; Merchant and Manufacturer,
Retired Merchant, 1 ; Commission Merchant, 1 :
Agent and Real Estate Dealer, 1 ; Merchant,
1 ; Banker, 1 ; Occupation not given, 1.
.:i
Farmer i Teacher and Farmer, 1 : Dealer in
g;,. Insurance Agent, 1 ; Mechanic, 1 ;
bag, pation not given, a.
and
aro,
first
at
last
ot
may
may
Louis
com
mitted a
him
self. the
Ohio,
swim
re
treat with
York,
ex-
The Conareaaiionaliat has taken
pains to find out the average length
sermons ana services in iODgreguuoii&i
Churches. For this purpose it has
cured reports from eighty-two churches
in different parts of the country for
14. The loneest services were
Mr. Beecher's church one hundred
forty minutes, the sermon being sixty-
three minutes long. The shortest
ices were at E Street Church in Boston,
lasting only fifty-five minutes, the
being twenty-five minutes
The averace lentrth of services of all
churches reported was seventy-six ana
half minutes; of sermons, thirty-six
minutes, and of the long prayer,
minutes.
If the Emperor William and his
cutioner, Bismarck, get up a few
wars for Germany, they will have
but women left to draw on
fighting material. Germany's
wars nave resulted in giving her an
cef s ot 705,875 females over males.
A NOBLE fellow that tramp was
returned a five dollar bill he said he
found in an old vest a Norwich
had eiven him. His honesty was
warded with a one dollar bill, and
next day the five turned out to
counterfeit.
State Prison Sketch.
Ex-Warden Havnes furnishes this
sketch to the Waltham Sentinel: I found
among the convicts in prison, in 1858, a
man about fifty years old, in whom I
soon became quite interested. Upon tbe
theory that "men should be what they
eeem," he was deserving of being classed
among the martyrs, although serving a
sentence of seven years as a common
thief. In addition to his protestations
of innocence, his unusual good conduct
and religious professions created a strong
feeling in his lavor. A part ot his duty
was once a week to sweep out the chapel.
On one occasion he found concealed in
that room, for the purpose of escaping, a
notorious burglar. A feartul struggle
between them was the result; the old
man finally succeeded in securing the
man and banding him over to the officers.
t or this act he was pardoned. Two vears
later he was again convicted with two
of his sons. It appeared that they had
opened a small provision store in Boston,
in which poultry was the principal arti
cle of sale. They soon obtained a repu
tation for the low prices at which they
were enabled to sell their produce, all of
which was satisfactorily accounted for
afterward, when it was ascertained that
ineir store was stocked trom the hen
roosts in the vicinity, which they robbed,
giving them a decided advantage over
the honest trader. On his recommittal
he bad the same sanctimonious appear
ance which bad characterized him be
fore. Still feeling an unaccountable
interest in the old fellow, I remarked
that it was a sad sight to see a father and
two sons committed to the prison, and
inquired if his conscience was not
touched in consequence. '"Yes, Mr.
Warden," he replied, drawing down a
long face, " It is a sad affair, and I as
sure you that I feel mighty bad aboutit;
but then," he continued, turning to me
with a peculiar twinkle of the eye, "I
hnd one consolation in it ixnow wnere
they are nights."
Brevities.
Fear is the mother of foresight.
Best men oft are molded out of faults.
Men find it more easy to flatter than
to n raise.
Flattery is like base coin ; it impover
ishes him who receives it.
The plants look up to Heaven, from
whence they receive their nourishment.
A fool is often as dangerous to deal
with as a knave, and always more incor
rigible. Wealth and poverty are seen ior wnai
thev are. It begins to be seen the poor
are only they who leel poor, and poverty
consists in feeling poor. The rich, as we
reckon them, and among them the very
rich, in a true scale, would be found very
indigent and ragged.
.Pride counterbalances all our mys
teries; it either hides them, or it discloses
them, and boasts ol that disclosure.
Pride has such a thorough possession of
us, even in the midst ot our miseries and
faults, that we are prepared to sacrifice
life with iov. if it may but be talked of.
A man a genius is always, in tne oe-
E inning of life, aa much unknown to
imool f fco-trvh.rT mS 1 ."ly
frecment trials, attended with success,
that he dares think himself equal to the
undertakings in which those who have
succeeded have fixed the admiration of
mankind.
Whatever mitigates the woes or in
creases the happiness of others is a just
criterion nf sroodness: and whatever in-
iures society at laree. or any individual
in It, IS IS LlllCllOU Ul JUHllfcJ. vun
should not quarrel with a dog without a
reason Bumcient 10 vindicate uire umuju
all the courts of morality.
Bashful.
A Summit street drug clerk called on
a young lady the other evening. He
naturally very uasumi, uuu mo uuiur
ness has been thoroughly cultivated dur
ing the years past, ana me biiuhuuu uu
thin evenimr was something new to him.
As he seated himself in the north-west
corner of the parlor, he telt that some
thing must be said to stir up ine current
of conversation, and, without a second
thniioht. he broke eut:
" Have you ever studied the chemical
peculiarities ol mononuroDenzonaptny-
lamide?"
" Oh, certainly, yes indeed ; that
aVi T hnrrllv understand vou."
"I speak of the properties of mononi
trobenzonapathylamides and dinitroben-
rr-nnavthvlamide."
" Sir?" and she looked frightened.
" By the action of H upon the bodies,
monoamidobenzonaphylamide and anhy
drobenzodiamidonaphthaline are formed
as products; and "
Here the young lady looked frightened
enough to faint, and threatened to call
her pa, but was detained by the young
man, who.seeing that he wasn't making
much of an impression as he expected
took his hat and backed over a rocking
chair, then picked himself up and stam
mered himself out. What a pity it
our girls can't be taught the commonest
branches ot eaucauou lnateau ui rav
ing their time away on a piano stool
something else equally useless. Toledo
Democrat.
How to Get Along.
and1
and
2
and
.Man-
and
iuu
Live
Occu-
some
of
se
No
vember in
and
serv
fer
mon long.
the
a
Pay as you go.
Never fool in business matters.
Do not kick every one in your path.
Ltarn to think and act for yourself.
Keep ahead rather than behind
times.
Don't stop to tell stories in business
hours.
Have order, system, regularity
promptness.
Do not meddle with business you know
nothing of.
Use your own brains rather than those
of others.
A man of honor respects his word
he does his bond.
No man can get rich by sitting around
stores and Baloons.
If vou have a place of business,
found there when wanted.
More miles can be made in one day
eoine steadily than by stopping.
Help oiuers wnen you can, uut
give what you cannot afford because it
fashionable.
Learn to say No. Ho necessity
snapping it out dog fashion, but say
firmly and ropccttully.
ten
exe
more
no
body for
recent
ex-
who
had
gentle
man re
the
be a
At a recent prayer meeting in Louisi-
mm thn following uniaue explanation
was given by the colored preacher as
the orinin of the white race: "When
Cain killed his brother Abel, tbe
missing him, axed Cain, ' Wbar's
brudder Abel?' Cam answered,
do n't know, massa. I did n't seed
Then the Lord hunted around the
field. And by and by he corned back
looked ober de fence, and again
him: 'Whar's your brudder Abel,
errand rascal, nieeer. vou?' Then
he irit skeered. and if it bad n't been
that nigger turning white we
would nave Deen irouniea wuu mis
set of white trash.
That Detroit Police Court.
[Detroit Free Press.]
' Florinda May," said his Honor as a
women with a broken nose and a fero
cious looking face was passed out by the
smiling Bijah, " if any one had told me
yesterday that you would willfully and
with malice aforethought catch a lame
boy by the ear and cuff his head up to a
peak I should not have believed it."
" Well, d'ye know what the same
lame boy did f ' she asked as she leaned
over the railing and breathed hard.
" Stole a kiss from you, perhaps."
" No, sir. This is just how it was, and
it wasn't any other way : I was going
home with a basket of meat, and this
boy was on the walk, and when I came
along he made up a face just so and
nonered out :
" When I see Florinda May
It makes me faint away.
That's what he hollered."
And then you proceeded to maul
him around, and made his ears sing, and
u:.. 1 .1 - i i 1 ... r
uu ueau acue, uuu lay mm up ior a
weex i
" I can't have boys hollering out to
me that way, your Honor."
" You can't, eh ? Are you any better
than Susan B. Anthony ? When she was
in or. jlouis the boys bobbed their heads
to her and sang:
' "Sue I Sue I Sue I
Oh I here is Susan B.
I'd nin a silver dollar
To be as tall as she 1
" And the boys frequently call out to
me as I pass along, and they are calling
out to others every hour in the day."
" Well, 1 won't stand noaass from any
body," said Mrs. May in a determined
voice.
"You'll have to. There's 'sass' at
every angle and corner in life, and you
must taxe your snare, l shall have to
nne you bve dollars for disturbing the
peace."
She paid it and went away with both
nsis aouoieo up and ner eyes blazing,
A NOTED MAN.
A fellow who had been hauled in for
mashing a stove in a saloon, and who
had refused to give his name, was called
out under the name of John Doe.
I am none of your low-down John
Does !" he exclaimed, as he was brought
to a " front face."
" Don't talk quite so loud until I find
the warrant There here it is, and the
charge is disturbing the peace. If your
name isn i jonn iwe, what is it?"
" Are yen addressing- your conversa
tion to me, sir ?" asked the prisoner in
an icy voice, as he stood up very erect.
i am, sir ; a am talking right at you.
What do you say to the chartre ?"
it c: ill i.i . 53 . .
- oir : answered me prisoner solemnly,
sir t you are aaaressinz a noted man.
and none of your one-horse riff-raffs !"
1 am, en ? You are not Sergeant
Bates, are you V
" I, sir, am the Key Dive of Illinois !"
exclaimed tbe man.
There was a loner pause.
Tbe sound of teeth munchinsr. peanuts
was painfully loud.
Uijah scarcely breathed, and the clerk
quit gnawing his pen-holder.
" It has been a long time since we had
such a noted man here," said his Honor
at last. " 1 BUuuiu lute to irive ymr iticH
freedom of the city in a gold box, but I
can't. The best I can do is to give' you
sixty day3 in the House of Correction."
It will be a sad day for this town,
my noble duke," replied the prisoner.
" I'll take care ot the sadness, sir. You
just noble duke yourself into the cor
ridor and sit down, and don't speak
over three words more or I'll double up
on you !"
I be Kev Dive stalked in, treading
loftily and heavily, but he wouldn't sit
down and behave until Bijah held him
against the stove and thawed his dignity
out, and even then he sat down very
soltly.
A HATER.
as
to,
is
or
" Oh ! how I do hate whisky !" said
William Orton as he toed the mark.
"Eh?"
" Oh ! I could go out and tear the
roof offin every saloon in Detroit!" con
tinued William.
" How about this charge of intoxica
tion, Mr. Orton t"
" I don't know, but I know that I de
test and despise the bare sight of whisky.
If I was king of this "
' Answer to this charge, William."
" I don't know anything about your
charges, and, as I was saying, I wish
whisky was a brick and I was a pile
driver. I'd come down on that brick
a way to make your hair stand up !"
" But you were brought in here drunk
as a prince not ten hours ago."
" I can't help that I hate whisky.
Oh, when I think of it when I ponder
and reflect and- !"
" Mr. Orton, shut up on that strain
and plead to this charge."
"I don't know anything about your
pleads, and if I could only crush all tbe
whisky in the world I should be happy."
" Your sentence is sixty days," called
out the court.
"It is?"
" Yes sir."
" Then I'll be shot if I don't drink
the whisky I can get hold of !" said
prisoner as be walked away.
the
and
as
Bijah hunted 'hroughthe cells, behind
the doors, uuder the stove and in
coalscuttle, but the last prisoner was out,
and he appeared and said :
" This court is now closed, and let
disperse and give our attention to instil
ling seeds ot goodness into tne hearts
such as sit on the lerry-aock auo cnew
smokiner tobacco."
And as the Key Dive came out to
loaded up the boys sang :
A noted man In Illinois
Came up to Michigan,
And as be walked around the streets
His looks the cops did scan.
A peeler follered him around,
And, when justified by law.
He said : "Come in the weather's wet,"
And he felt the peeler's paw.
The great Key Dive wiU take a ride
And view this handsome town;
And wlieo his days sre up
He will have wiser grown.
Woman Drenched with Kerosene and
Burned.
is
ot
it
to
Lord,
your
'j
bim.'
corn
and
axed
you
Cain
for
nebber
sassy
Patrick Toolev, a laborer in New York
City, poured a can of kerosene over bis
wife because she said he was hard to
please, he having found fault with her
working. She screamed and prayed to
bim not to set her alight, but he said,
" Bv G . vou shall burn, you she devil.
The oil being poured on her head and
setting into her eyes, saturated her dress,
and he, in spite of her struggles, lit a
match and set her on fire. Her screams
were fearful, and soon the house was
aroused, and likewise the neighborhood.
When Officer Raleigh found her she was
a pitiable sisht Great slabs of flesh
were hanging from her arms, her breast
was burned fearfully, her hands were
burned black as jet, her face was black
ened, and her stomach was all charred.
The fiend was taken prisoner and carried
to the station house, although he at first
resisted. The unfortunate woman was
sent to the hospital. She died a day or
so afterward in great agony. Tooley was
fully committed tor trial tor murder.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
Space. 1 w. 1 2 w. ll m.
1 inch
2 inches
S inches
4 inches . ..
column.,
16 column.1
1 column..
ti
a
4
7
10 OIlllS 00;
$2 00
s on
a ta
4 oo
6 oo
10 oo!
m.ifi m. I9 m.
'U 00'W OoU 00
I 6 MjlO 00 13 00
9 00 11 60 It 00
II 00: 16 00 17 SO
8 00 15 00 20 00 2! 00
13 00I.10 O0 .10 00 10 00
23 00135 Oil. S3 O075 00
$3 001
4 OUj
4 SO
5 00
11 l
no oe
15 00 '
18 00
20 00
so m
50 on
100 00
Business cards of five lines or less, $3 per annum.
Local notion 10 eent per line each insertion.
Simple announcements of marriages and deaths.
md church anil benevolent souirty notices inserted
free. Any additions to obituary notices will be
shirged 5 eent. per line.
Favors Mm be banded in as early aa Tuesday
morning to insure insertion the same week
Communications upon aubjecta of general or lo
cal interest are solicited.
IRISH SONG.
The white blossom's off the bog, and tbe leaves are
off tbe trees,
And the singin' birds have scstthered across the
stormy seas
And oh I 'tis winter,
Wild, wild winter.
Wid' the lonesome wind singin' forever Uarooxh the
trees i
n.
How green the leaves were sprlngln' I bow glad the
birds were singin' I
When I rested In the meadow wid me heed on Pat
rick! knees.
And oh I 'twas spring-time,
Hweet. sweet snnns-time.
Wid the daisies all dancin' before me In the breeze.
m.
Wid tbe' spring the fresh leaves they'll laugh upon
the trwa.
And the birds they'll flutter back wid their songs
across the seas.
But I'll never rest agin' wid my head on Patrick'!
And for me 'twill be winter,
Wild, wild winter.
Wid the lonesome wind singin' forever through the
trees.
Author " Smos of KWarM)."
ODDS AND ENDS.
The cheapest of
one's own counsel.
lawyers Keeping
" Siesticate" to take a midday nap
is the last drop in the well of English
debled.
The noblest reformer is he who, resolv
ing to make a true man tf himself, suc
ceeds in his work.
Difficult questions Are the minutes
relating to an affair of honor always
drawn up by the seconds?
We are much bound to them that do succeed ;
But in a more pathetic sense are bound
To such as fail. They all our loss expound ;
They comfort us for work that wul not speed ;
And life Itself is failure.
Ik life it is difficult to say who do you
the most mischief enemies with the
worst intentions, or friends with the
best.
The silliest of all errors is when young
men think they forfeit their claims to
originality if they acknowledge any
truth that has been discovered before
them.
Mb, Spprgeon said, in a recent ser
mon on public speaking: "Moreover,
brethren, avoid the use of the nose as an
organ of speech, for the best authorities
are agreed that it is intended to smell
with."
Some thoughtless person suggests
nitroglycerine funeral caskets to prevent
" body snatching." But there is a serious
objection to this. A corpse could not turn
over in its coffin on resurrection
day without danger of being blown to
pieces.
A Quakertown man has solved Mrs.
Livermore's query: " What will we do
with ouf daughters f He has purchased
two washing machines and will take in
washing. His wife and seven daughters
are to do the work and he will superin
tend the business.
A fashionable woman's clothes weigh
twentv-four pounds, exclusive of hat,
furs, and rubbers, while a man's outfit
hardly goes over fifteen pounds. This is
a free country, however, and any woman
is at liberty to carry as much as st mule
can draw, if sne wants to.
V, duke of Modena, is dead, and the
compositor who, in putting in type an
announcement of the fact, the other day.
made it Francis V. Duke, of ModeBa, and
then asked, " What do you suppose mat
V in Duke's name stands for ?" ought to
be dead too.
The man who is enly honest when
honesty is the best policy is not really
an honest man. Hontsty is not swerving
policy, but staple principle. An honest
man is honest from bis inmost soul, nor
designs to stoop to ought that is mean
though great results hang on the petty
fraud.
In Massachusetts, the other day, a
man named Eowly, shortly after the dis
charge of a shot-gun in the hands of his
divorced wife, suddenly discovered a de
posit of lead in his body, and employed
half a dozen doctors to work tbe mine.
At last accounts tbey had hoisted out
twelve buckshots, and were sinking and
drifting for a richer lead.
We flatter ourselves we bearded boys
That we are deep and can eonceal
All that we know and do aud feel
Our business sorrows and club-house joys
From tne innocent creatures who make our tea;
But believe me, sir, tbey can see.
As if your clove or cardamon seed
Could bide your guilt in wine and weed I
Ah I foolish mortal, do you suppose
That only to snitf the scent of a rose,
And not the odor that's in your clothes.
She's got that sweet little, pert Utile nose f
Your screen is only a paneuf glass.
Through which she sees that you are-alasl
By no means the lion. you think within,
But a long-eared thing in a lion's skin.
JSotUm Commercial Bviktin.
all
the
the
us
ot
be
Ida Lewis, the marine heroine, is
poor, and plays every Monday morning
on a seven and a half octave washboard.
With her bare elbows even with the key
board and a red flannel Beethoven before
her, she renders that famous music with
delicate expression aad woollen poetry.
Yet people tend her poems, silk hosiery,
three-buttoned gloves and fine jewelry.
A woman in the case? Was there ever
a case without a woman in it ? " What
mighty ills have not been done by wo
man?" Congress ought to pass a law ,
abolishing woman. It might be incon
venient in its operation for a while, but
the man would soon get used to nursing
tho children and running through the
housework, and we'd have less shooting .
going on.
A FEW days since, as the local freight
arrived from Cleveland, a barrel of
I whisky was rolled from the cars into the
i .. rri .
lreiglit depot in Aiwaier, tjnio. xui
night some persons being very anxious to
partake its contents, crawled under the
wareroom and with an auger bored
through the floor into the barrel, thus
enabling them to guzzle whisky until
they were pertectiy satisneo.
Better Investigation Needed in
Railroad Accidents. The English
accident did, however, establish one
thing, if nothing else ; it showed the im
measurable superiority of the system of
investigation pursued in the case of rail
road accidents in rngiana over mat
pursued in this country. There is a
trained expert after the occurrence of
each disaster visits the spot and Bifts the
aiiair to the very Dottom, locating rr-
sponsiuiiity ttuu puiming vu. uiouiuyw
the measures necessary to guaru aguiunir
its repetition. Here the case goes to a
coroner's jury, whose findings as a rule
admirably sustain the ancient reputation
of that august tribunal. is aDsoiureiy
sad to follow the course of these investi
gations, they are conducted with such
an entire disregard of method and lead to
such inadequate conclusions. Indeed,
how could it be otherwise? The same
man never investigates two accidents,
and for the one investigation he does
make he is competent only in his own
Charles Francis Adams, Jr., in
The Atlantic.
Difficulty is being experienced in
obtaining a staff of teachers for the
Catholic universities in France, several
prominent professors having declined to
accept the poets offered them.