Developed by Martha
Bowen, Human Environmental Sciences Specialist, University of Missouri
Extension

Relationship to Building
Strong FamiliesAlmost from the moment a child is
born, a parent begins to dream and plan for the day when that child
becomes an independent, caring, and responsible human being. The attention
of the parents gravitates toward developing and preparing the child to
care for him or herself. Learning to walk and talk are unforgettable
events. Dramatic growth developments such as these are guided and
supported by the child’s parents and other family members.

Children have differing timetables for
social, physical, and emotional development and maturity. Even children
within the same family grow and develop at different rates. Eventually,
however, children reach that significant time in their lives when they
make the transition from being cared for to caring for themselves.
Parents are then faced with making many important decisions to provide a
safe environment for their children.

For families to remain strong, all persons
involved in the care-giving and care-need situation should be involved in
decision-making. In the past, women were usually the care-givers for the
children, the disabled, and the elderly of the family. Now the majority of
women are employed outside the home, and alternative methods of
care-giving like child self-care must be considered.

Brief program descriptionAlmost all families must at some
time leave children at home alone. The time alone may be several minutes
during a quick trip to the store, before and after school, or all day
while parents work. If there are doubts about whether or not a child is
ready to stay alone, this program will help the family reach a decision.

Participants will learn the developmental
signs of readiness and maturity in children that will suggest an ability
to stay at home alone and meet the challenge of self-care. Through various
activities families will learn to help children understand and practice
safety procedures for at-home-alone times. Families who want more
information should refer to “At Home Alone” listed in the resource
section.

Research findingsNo magic age exists when children
develop the maturity and good sense they need to stay alone. For many
children, the abilities needed for self-care begin to appear around the
ages of 10 and 12. However, each child is unique, and parents need to take
the differences and unevenness of development into account.

Some physically well-developed children may
not have the social and cognitive skills needed to care for themselves at
age 12 alone at home. One child might have characteristics that are
typical of several different ages. For example, at age 10, Mike may
physically look like a 12-year-old, yet have the social and cognitive
skills of an eight-year old. Research suggests that children who look
older physically are sometimes pushed into behaving in ways they are not
socially and emotionally ready to handle.

For whatever reason a child is at home
alone, a family must make its own decision concerning the child’s
readiness to begin self-care. It is a decision that parents and children
must make together. Children must be capable of handling the
responsibility and feel ready, and parents must be comfortable with the
decision and the arrangement.

Safety is the number one concern. As a
result, children younger than age 10 should not be left alone. Even for
older children who are ready to stay alone, child care should be continued
if the neighborhood is unsafe and there are no adults nearby to call in
case of an emergency.

Goals and objectives

To identify the developmental stages and
characteristics of children;

To understand the “stay alone”
readiness signs for children;

To recognize that self-care is a family
matter and decisions to begin self-care must be a joint decision
between parents and child;