Moving through the world, making myself memorable

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Modesty II

Cause I’m gonna make you see
Nobody else here, no-one like me
I’m special, so special
I gotta have some of your attentionGive it to me

Oh, yeah- me, too! Of course. This creature is beautiful, creative, powerful, “fearfully and wonderfully made,” and you’re going to notice. You will see my posture and deportment, because a person can dominate a room, turning heads, whatever they are wearing. I am a force of nature. I dress to express my personality, to make me feel Good, to attract attention, and why not use a push-up bra as part of that? My sexuality is part of the way I am, with everyone, not just with lovers.

At least that’s the theory, what, appallingly late, I am now working on. One has to do teenage eventually.

Onywye, I feel good in a nice dress, and I love that suede jacket. The long blonde hair feels so much better than the short dark style. I love it caressing my upper back, in the V of the neck-line.

So we dance together, women and women, men and men, men and women, left-handers and red-heads, sometimes enjoying the game, sometimes bruised by it. If you do not have the physical advantages of the most vivacious animals, you can play with other tools. The unco guid use disapproval, saying that displaying her body is lacking self-respect, coming over like a whore. Men oppress women with violence, and use her attractiveness against her- she was “asking for it”. In places women dress as men wanted, we are naked or in burqas.

The alternatives seem to be the beautiful free movement of expression or rules from controlling fear. Men object to women dressing “immodestly” when they feel embarrassed by their naughty thoughts. If they could accept attraction as natural and beautiful, they would not need to project their discomfort onto the other.

It is not respect for another to say that she is demeaning herself by the revealing clothes she wears. It is judgment. Respect requires allowing her to be as she is. Tiribulus’ comments here are vile. To me every woman is a lady, no matter what they are to themselves. And My family is the standard. If I would not want my wife or daughter to be seen in [anything “revealing”], I don’t intentionally see other women that way either. He sets himself as the standard, and claims that those women who do not meet his standard are demeaning themselves and have no self-respect. He is projecting.

This is why we are told “Judge not”. By the measure you use, it will be measured to you. You create a picture in your mind of another’s cultural background, understanding, intention, action, and it may be wholly unrelated to their reality. Walk a mile without shoes.

It’s odd that in some Christian circles men fall over themselves to blame women for thoughts and behaviour they think they shouldn’t have. Tiribulus obviously struggles with getting horny and thinks it will all go away if women dress in sacks.

Guilty as charged on the stats. God disapproves: well, yes; but why think that? You don’t, any more, and I don’t either, in a different way. From a source of pain and disapproval my God has become Love and support. I feel that is more authentically God. We heal and grow, and he hasn’t. Though perhaps I should not say that, as I resent people saying to me “My spiritual growth has moved on, and when you are as mature as I am you will think as I do”.

Even in days long long ago when women wore corsets that pressed their breast to painful flatness, covered every inch of their body and camouflaged its contours, men found something that tickled their “fancy” and then blame upon her as seductress …. oh dear, freedom and “couldn’t care less what anyone says” are such great dispositions to have 🙂

In The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark, a girl notes that with such complex underwear, by the time you have removed it you will have had time to morally control your naughty thoughts, and refrain. Corsets can display breasts quite nicely, though, like a shelf underneath on which the flesh sits, all jiggly.