Dealing with Discouragement In Ministry

Have you ever been discouraged? Unless you have some serious antisocial tendencies, I’d guess that you have been discouraged at one point or another in your life. For those of us who serve in ministry, discouragement is very real and present danger. The very nature of our work makes us more susceptible to discouragement because we are often so heavily invested in the lives of others. The average person can go out of their way to live insulated lives, shielded and protected from “mess,” but not us. The very nature of our calling seems to demand that we give others access to our lives, while at the same time wading into the murky waters of their lives. Can you imagine a pastor who refused to care about others? How about a minister who openly expressed her lack of concern for the condition of those around her? Wouldn’t she risk being called a sociopath? Nobody wants to be called a sociopath…so we dive in! Loving, trusting, forgiving, all the while believing that this is the God-honoring thing to do!

Discouragement comes in when even your most sacrificial efforts fall flat, and the expectations that you had of something or someone bite you in the butt. It happens to every minister that I’ve ever known…that’s not the point. The issue that I’d like to wrestle with is the proper Christian response to discouragement. Do we curl into a ball, lick our wounds, and whine? Worst than that, do we lash out at those responsible? Both of these are pretty damaging responses that will ultimately do more harm than good. How, then, do you deal with discouragement in ministry?

Josh Griffin, one of my favorite youth pastors/bloggers shared some thoughts that I’d like to pass along. You can read the full article here, but here’s my recap with some personal thoughts:

Identify the Source of the Discouragement – What is the perceived root of the discouragement and what is its real cause? It could be deeper than any isolated incident. Discouragement can show up after “mountaintop experiences” as someone seeks to bring you back to earth, set you straight, or “read you,” as my people sometimes say; however, in most cases, I’ve been able to trace my own bouts with discouragement to something deeper than an incident. The truth is that I like to be liked. I like and respect people, and I expect them to like and respect me back. When that does not happen, I’m often caught off guard. I’ve come to accept that the majority of the discouragement that I deal with in my life comes out of misguided expectations of others and some insecurity on my part. Being so, each period of discouragement that I face is now seen as a chance to confront my own issues, as well as the issues of others that may be involved.

Employ the Appropriate Response – Even in discouragement, I am accountable for my response. My response will say volumes about who I believe God to be and who I am in God. In every encounter, I have the option to be either the crazy person driven by carnal emotions or I can bear witness to the Spirit’s power to overcome my fallen nature. In my discouragement, I have learned to cry out to God who encourages my heart, grants me wisdom and strength through His Word, and sends me back into the game.

Search the Criticism for Truth and Grow From It – If God can speak through a donkey, surely he can use the harsh words of another human being to reveal truth to us. In the course of facing the discouragement, take the time to search for God’s voice in the criticism. Is there something tucked away behind the ugly words that could help you become a better leader/minister/pastor? Be courageous enough to sit in the criticism and mine for nuggets that might be valuable to your future. It may be uncomfortable, even humbling, but it can help produce a better you in the end.

Discouragement is not new. Discouragement will be with us for as long as we live. Jesus knew this and told his disciples, “In this world, you will have trouble.” That has not changed for the modern believer. The encouragement, though, is that Jesus also said in that same breath, “But take heart! I have overcome the world!” Although discouragement is real and painful, we find encouragement in knowing that Jesus is victorious over discouragement in the same way that He is victorious over sin, death, and the grave. In Christ, our grief becomes joy.

To know and believe this is the key to dealing with any and all discouragement!