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How to ask out your TA

Guys, I have a crush on my TA. Surprise, surprise, Jack is behaving inappropriately.

I loved her so much that I went for it, but she told me, “I’d rather only eat my own hair every day for the rest of my life than spend time alone with you.”

That might have been because I asked her on a date by saying, “Hi. I love you. Sushi tastes good with me.”

That one didn’t work, so here are my other ideas for you all to try:

1) Come to section naked. Let your body speak for itself.

2) Don’t come to section, so that your TA has to seek you out. When he/she/she-he/he-she/shehehehehehe emails you about your whereabouts, say that you’re done with this cat-and-mouse game and you’re free for dinner.

3) Bring your TA spaghetti and meatballs. I tried that one too and it didn’t work.

4) Wear sunglasses to section. When you are asked to take them off, ask your TA to take them off for you.

5) Do all the reading. They think that’s hot.

6) Wear a wedding ring for the first few sections and then one day come in to section crying and throw the ring out the window. Your TA will definitely know you’re single.