I took advantage of the “free” session with a personal trainer that I received when I joined the new gym. It was a sales pitch, of course, but I was willing since my trainer is out of town and I wanted a decent workout.

The workout was good. The standard getting-to-know-your-goals part? Not so much.

I don’t care what size I wear (and left the clothes size part blank on the form, but was tempted to scrawl a little diatribe about the ridiculousness of the question).
I’m not (currently) worked up about my weight (though I track out of curiosity and DO intend to continue to lose weight).
I don’t have an event to plan to lose for (and wouldn’t, anyway).
I don’t have a specific body part/area I want to “work on.”

I just want to be healthy and happy and feel well.

I don’t think he knew what to do with that when filling in the wants/wishes chart, but I honestly couldn’t give him a more easily measurable goal.

The whole thing really opened my eyes to how radically my thinking has evolved over the past few years.

I can’t say that I’m currently at a place where I feel the need to preach to the world that scales should be thrown out – or that weight loss shouldn’t be a goal – or that we should all rail against the sexism that permeates everything related to body shape/size, etc. and refuse to participate in activities such as this getting-to-know-your-goals situation that largely focused on appearance – but only because I’ve found myself at both ends of the spectrum and everywhere between.

I just happen to be at a place – NOW – where I can sit back and see that I’m at what I consider to be a good place for myself as far as goals/motivation/self-acceptance/habits go.

It took A LOT of work to get here, though.

I respect the journey that starts out because of a wedding or a reunion or because of horror at larger sizes or peer pressure/body image issues. I was there once (and twice and three times … ). I’m just not there anymore. I hope to remember that.

I’m very sure I once knew what those numbers mean/what category they put me in – but I don’t anymore.

He calculated and recommended that I lose 20 pounds of fat and gain 10 pounds of muscle before stopping and maintaining indefinitely.

The computer program he was utilizing determined that I should lose 38 pounds of fat and gain 8 pounds of muscle to achieve 12% body fat. (Which I think is way too low for me – but maybe because I just can’t imagine it?)

I told him that my vague overall goal is a 25-30 pound fat loss (based on my body and what I observe/am trying to achieve) – so I was on target – but I’m just going to keep on doing what I’m doing and see what happens.
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I didn’t eat until after I’d worked out, of course.

I am not looking forward to winter AT ALL. Some of the dread is likely leftover trauma from the MI winter, but most of it is sadness that I will lose decent fresh fruit.

Obviously it was assumed that sharing was going to happen. Even though that never happens.

I threw the rest of the snickerdoodles away. I get a stomachache every time I eat them.

I was on my own for dinner tonight, so it was simple: found a hardboiled egg (Jon sometimes boils by the dozen for quick meals/snacks), so I mixed it with a little mayo + rice crackers + celery w/almond butter + prunes for dessert.

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I once totally mocked the urban hen situation – something that apparently officially became possible here in March – but I think I’m changing my mind.