If this is your favourite song you might be a psychopath

I’m glad about the fact that we can all agree on this: ’No Diggity’ by Blackstreet is an absolute belter. It slaps more than most, I tell you. It will never get old.

Shame then, that you’re not allowed to like it anymore, because if you do, you’re a psychopath. If you like this very good song, you’re probably a terrifying maniac. Oh well.

But why, why does me liking the sound of a ‘90s R&B banger make me a weirdo? Well, according to research carried out on 3 million participants by Channel 4, people who score highly on the psychopath test are way more likely to enjoy rap and heavy metal.

Then, to get a bit more ‘specific’, researchers at New York University did some more tests, whereby volunteers had answers to a study on musical tastes compared with results from previously sat psychological tests, including the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale.

For the study, they looked at specific songs (260 in total) and spoke to 200 people, eventually finding that ‘No Diggity’ was a particularly popular song with those who displayed psychopathic traits. As was ‘Lose Yourself’ by Eminem, obviously.

On the other end of the spectrum, those Boring Billies who listen to classical music and jazz (ugh), are the least-likely to be a Psycho Simon. Alongside the two most boring of the musical genres, pop songs like ‘Titanium’ by David Guetta and ‘My Sharona’ by The Knack also rated highly with the normal, un-maniac population.

The reason behind this research was to try and discover new ways of identifying a psychopath, to stop them before they do something psychopathic, I guess. So, checking out their Spotify playlists to work out if they’re dangerous or not. Way too much S Club 7 for a 45-year-old man, for example.

“The media portrays psychopaths as axe murderers and serial killers, but the reality is they are not obvious; they are not like The Joker in Batman. They might be working right next to you, and they blend in. They are like psychological dark matter.

“You don’t want to have these people in positions where they can cause a lot of harm. We need a tool to identify them without their cooperation or consent.

“The beauty of this idea is you can use it as a screening test without consent, cooperation or maybe even the knowledge of the people involved.

“The ethics of this are very hairy, but so is having a psychopath as a boss, and so is having a psychopath in any position of power.”

Can’t argue with that, really. So if, whenever you walk past your boss’ office they’re blasting ‘No Diggity’ for the tenth time that day, maybe it might be time to shoot off a quick email to HR. It’s either that or blackmail them for a raise - depends on how much of a psychopath you are, I guess.

(Image: Lionsgate Films)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though.
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