Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Good Bye Pride Hello Reality

I didn't realize how much pride I really had until now. It took my pride being wounded for me to realize that I am only human. This past Friday I was let go from my job and although I don't agree with their reasonings the fact is the same I have to look for work again.

Getting let go on a Friday gives you a kind of twilight. It numbs you to the reality that awaits you on monday morning. And then comes Sunday night and it starts to seep in to your conscious that “hey, tomorrow your not going to work.” But it only hits you more permanently on Tuesday. Yes Tuesday. Why Tuesday? Because Monday no I’m not going to work but “I’m going to be able to find a job” or there’s the “I’m going to have a little time off and enjoy it and it cant be that bad.”

Then you wake up Tuesday morning after spending a day relaxing, leisurely applying to jobs that sound cool and interesting. Not that your not taking it seriously but the sense of urgency isn’t biting your ass. Then its Tuesday.

Tuesday is the day when everything sinks in or the depression sets in. Questions bubble in your head such as: Where did I go wrong? and How could I let this happen? Why didn’t I fight more? Am I a failure? Am I an idiot? It becomes to much to take all the while trying to keep your eye on the prize and looking for work, because if you don’t the bills won’t get paid.

Then there’s Wednesday. I woke up this morning and realized this is not going to happen over night. This is a process and I have to do everything I can but I can’t set my expectations high. Being positive is the best thing to do in this situation. Count your blessings and try and be best. This can and will be worse before they get better. Hope can be stronger than pride.

Although my pride has been wounded and talking about it has been hard. Accepting reality is inevitable and needs to happen to learn and grow. This process is something that many seem to be going through and may vary from person to person. But we are all human and have the ability to learn grow and adapt.