Via Wolf's Meds
This night came quietly and swiftly, like any other night. Only it wasn't.
Mortimer bolted upright from his sleep. He lay in a pool of sweat, his heart racing. He threw his legs over the side of his bed and sat for a moment, scratched his goatee, ran his fingers through his thick black sweat matted hair, and stood. His legs trembled for a moment. They felt weak and like jelly.
"Somethings amiss here." He whispered to himself.
Morty stumbled around in the cold darkness of his room and found his candle. He then made his way into Lulu's room. The sun was just starting its rise by now.
He stood in the doorway to his sisters room, the candle in his hand very dimly lighting it.
He spoke softly, "Is all well dearest Lulu?"
Silence. No response.
"Lulu?" He said louder as he creeped closer to her bed.
The candle light slowly illuminated the room as he came closer, revealing-
"BLOOD!" Gasped Morty.
Blood! Blood all over the bed sheets. All over the fleshy mass sleeping beneathe!
"Who has done this!" He screamed, frantically backing away, "May Aluwen curse you!!!"
CRAAAAAAACK! THUMP!
Mortimer lay on the floor lifelessly. The stool he tripped on lay broken beside him.
The sun was just going down over the western mountains when Morty regained conciousness.
He brought himself to his hands and knees, trembling in fear. The room smelled of rotting meat. He crawled over to his sisters bedside. He swallowed hard, the walls of his throat petrified in fear. The hairs on his neck stood at horrified attention. With a shakey hand he slowly pulled the blanket off the mass of flesh and blood.
And there it lay, a butchered and dismembered boar.
"Guuuuuuugh" Moaned Mortimer in a mixed sigh of relief and repulse.
He stood up. He could feel the blood rushing through his body once again now that he was no longer afraid.
But where is Lulu then? He thought to himself.
Grrrrrrrrrrlllk! His stomache growled.
Needing some food and some time to piece together the day's events, he went into the kitchen to prepare himself a big heaping bowl of boar stew. He reached into a cupboard for a cooking pot, thats when he first heard it. Very faintly.
Nrrr gaaaaa giiiiii yoooooo
His large pointed elvish ears were sure he heard it! He strained his ears to hear again.
Nrrr gaaaaa leeeeeeh yooooo duuuuun
Yes! He was sure now! But what was that strange music?
He trotted outside, just in front of his doorway, the sun now completely down.
The music was still faint. He looked to the south. His ears twitched.
"There," He said outloud," is where it's coming from. Maybe Lulu was taken there."
But that's where Orvimon Cemetary is, he thought.
The cemetary. The one place he dreaded since childhood.
No matter. I have to find Lulu.
So he set out from his house by the west gate of Tarsengaard city, down the cobblestoned street
Past the tavern smelling of bread and meat, sounding of drunks and bards.
How could have Lulu been taken, he pondered.
Past the blacksmith, he grabbed a dagger on an outside display, hoping to return it before the smith noticed its absence.
She made no noise to awaken me.
Past the storage, brightly lit yet complete quietness that could only come from the alchemists and crafters hard at work.
Everything was in its place as if there was no fight.
Past the southern city gate.
Did she even resist?
Morty stopped here for a moment and listened hard;
Neeeeeer gooaaa ruuuuu uuuuund
It's getting louder! May I stay on the right path.
He continued on.
Past Sero's Pond.
What a strange unearthly music, he continued thinking.
Past the Chrysanthemum's he and Lulu would pick in the spring time.
Almost as if Mother Nature is singing of death.
Into the darkness he kept going, the cold autumn night air stinging his cheeks.
It's like nothing my ears have tasted before. Not music of elvish nor dwarvish. Nor any other creature.
He stopped.
The cemetary gates.
He listened.
aaaa dee errrt yooo
It was almost clear as day! Mortimer gulped as he slowly pushed open the iron cemetary gate.
Wrrrrreeeeeeeeeeek!
He trotted in, dead trees whipping him with their branches as he ran past.
"Lulu!" He cried.
He was almost to where the cemetary meets the mountainous walls.
And there he saw it.
A blood pentegram with candles scattered everywhere. And in the center of the pentagram was a red headed human, with Lulu in his arms.
It's him! He's causing this strange music!
And the human sang, this time Morty was close enough to hear clearly.
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie
"RICK ASTLEY!" Yelled Mortimer.
"RELEASE HER AT ONCE!"
He looked up at Morty.
Mortimer growled, "You are not welcome in this game. Lulu! Don't believe his lies!"
But his sister layed there limp, swooned.
Mortimer drew his dagger and charged!
He pounced on Rick Astley and drove his dagger into his shoulder!
YARGGGGGGGH!
Screamed Rick in pain as he threw Morty off him.
CRRRRRR SHHHHHHHWOOOOOO!
Morty withered in pain as Rick's stab wound healed from the Life Drain spell!
Mortimer grew still, his eyes glazed, staring into nothingness.
Rick Astley returned to the pentagram and finished chanting his spell.
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around
And desert you
Never make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie
And hurt you
And at that there was a blinding flash of white light... Mortimer's sister taken away by
Rick Astley's hypnotic evil meme spell.
IGN: Wolf

Mines not too bad..
When I was a noob I harvested fruits for a loooong time and sold them to the tavern in Portland so I could buy a monster magnetism cloak ( I loved exploring EL without fear). The announcement for an invasion, located in Morcraven, came. I was really new at the time, didn't know invasion monters ignored mm. I wanted to watch, headed full speed into a moshpit full of trolls and was ripped to shreads.
I went back to square one harvesting for a long time until I could buy another. It was a nice cape... Up until I thought I was strong enough to kill a goblin rofl

I'm having the same problems, in Colorado. I also cannot view the players online page and have tried on two different computers.
Beh, Servers down that means I can go eat.
@ Weeverdas, I do, I tried disabling it after the first time, no luck

From many of the pod casts I have listened to, unprofessional and unscripted tend to be funnier and more interesting at times, other times they can sound almost awkward, imho. But keep in mind younger players may want to listen to it ( If you have no plan on editing) =s

Once I had run to walmart quickly because I needed to get some angel hair pasta cause I was making shrimp scampi and hadn't noticed we were out. I didn't see a price below the angel hair and I had about 10 boxes and was low on cash so I hunted down a price scanner, which wasn't working.
There was an employee nearby and without thinking I walked up to him and said 'PC Angel hair?'
So awkward >_<

Snickers Commercial
'Happy peanuts soar
over chocolate covered mountain tops
and waterfalls of caramel.
Prancing nuget in the meadow
sings a song of satisfaction
to the world.'
I know I watch too much tv, stfu >_<