BEFORE the Manchester City v Manchester United Premier League match kicked off, American broadcaster ESPN attempted to explain to American viewers what it means to support the clubs. Overlooking the obvious error – City’s biggest fans are based in the Middle East; United’s fans mostly live in London – we see that “Muppet” has been transcribe as “Moppet”. Muppet means a brainless, cloth-eared toy with a hand working your arse; Moppet means a cutesy young child.

I once went to an ESPN FA Cup evening. It featured Budweiser on tap (all you could drink! (a sip)) and various corporate drones harping on about the FA Cup. At a Q&A with a brand ambassador, a canned American voice piped up that he was a hardcore Chelsea fan. A Crystal Palace supporter to my side laughed, bulged his eyes and stretched his neck in cod Chelsea boot boy fashion and asked the Blues No. 1 guyfan if he could name the player of the season in John Neal’s Division 2 promotion winning team of 1983/84?

The Chelsea fan did not try kick his face off. He just laughed, like it was all a joke.

PS – It was Pat Nevin. As an Arsenal fan, I knew the answer that the ESPN soccer expert didn’t.