KD’s FASHION POLICE: The 22nd Screen Actors Guild Awards

Hello Guys

It’s John Oceans again, and we are here for the Screen Actors Guild Awards. So yes, the SAG Awards was held last week, and let’s face it: that is not the home of big Hollywood fashion, majorly because many of the “big aunties” of Hollywood don’t bother to show face.

Sha, just enjoy what I was able to put together, and feel free to sound off in the comments section if you disagree.

THE WINNERS

EMILIA CLARKEVery beautiful dress, very beautiful cut. This is not an easy dress to wear, you have to be flat-chested like Lupita (no vex) to rock this look, and this babe nailed it. Minimal use of accessories allowed the dress to do the talking. The auntie try abeg, let’s clap for her.

ROONEY MARAThank God she salvaged herself from that washed-out mess she had on at the Golden Globes. I love it whenever the envelope is pushed with a black dress, and this one came out lovely. But she should smile small na, abi person snatch her boyfriend?

ANNA FARISListen up Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie, this is how you do legs. You have to decide whether to do legs or to do cleavage. It’s never good to do both of them at the same time. Anna followed the rules and slayed in a warm color. I only wish she rocked another color of clutch. (BEST DRESSED NOMINEE)

RACHEL MCADAMSI loved the detailing of this dress. It looks like she was wearing sheer and nude underneath but she is actually well covered up. I cannot understand what is going on with her hair though, but the dress gives her a pass.

QUEEN LATIFAHI think my girl has a new stylist, because she has been slaying every red carpet in recent times. Sequins is a very hard fabric to pull off, especially when you are not exactly slim, but somehow she pulled it off, plus the black brought in a good balance. Every other thing was minimal. She slayed! End of story. (BEST DRESSED NOMINEE)

HELEN MIRRENThe queen!

THE END! (BEST DRESSED NOMINEE)

UZO ADUBASee how much better she looks without suffocating waist trainers? I like the color and the pop of red. With this, I believe she has redeemed herself a bit from the Golden Globe black disaster.

SARAH PAULSONGood work, girl! Appliqué-ed bodice and velvet are amongst the hardest things to wear ever and she tried it. This was a winner for me.

GIULIANA RANCICFirst time ever that Giuliana looks like a human being and not a scarecrow or peahen. The detailing is cute, and even though this dress can be overwhelming, her tiny frame did justice to it. She try…small.

ELLIE KEMPERGraphic prints are very tricky to pull off, but they worked this time. Good work.

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THE FENCISTS

JULIANNE MOOREI think Julianne exudes old Hollywood glamour effortlessly. So anytime she tries to be fashion forward, she fails woefully. This is a beautiful dress, but I don’t think Julianne pulled this off.

SOFIA VERGARABeautiful color and stunning dress, but I am bored. Sofia has done this silhouette way too many times, it’s gotten old. The mark of a true fashionista is versatility (no pun intended). So this does nothing for me. Make I see road abeg.

CLAIRE DANESBeautiful dress, but the fitting is not perfect. So just an okay look…NEEEXXXXXT!

CHRISTINA HENDRICKSThis dress is very confusing. It feels like high school further mathematics all over again. Are the sleeves half removed? Is the shoulder falling out? Is that a cape? These are questions she must answer.

KATE WINSLETBeautiful dress with a perfect body, but she has rocked this in blue before, so we are not wowed.

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THE ‘DEAR GOD OF HEAVEN!’

JANUARY JONESHmmm! I am torn with this look. She is one of my favorite fashion girls along with Diane Kruger, but to be honest, she looks like a giant candy floss, even the vibrant color couldn’t save her ass. Sorry nne, but this is not werking.

JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUSYes, I know Julia is not exactly a fashion girl, but come on! The length of this dress is horrible and the entire look aged her at least 20 years. I think the designer was confused, started out with knee length and then changed her mind and went for floor length, but unfortunately the fabric finished, so she stopped there. Some stylists sha are evil, tufiakwa. (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

NICOLE KIDMANWho dressed her? Stevie Wonder? I can’t deal abeg! She should be a flag held during gay pride or during a Donald Trump rally.

VIOLA DAVISWhat is going on with my Annalise bikonu? What is it sef? Every red carpet has been a disaster? Nne, your village people do you? This would have been a stunning look if she changed the color and made sure it fit perfectly. What is it sef with these women and wrinkled dresses? How much is a Binatone iron abeg?

BRIE LARSONEiyaa, Dennis Macaulay’s dogs must have attacked her shortly before the awards, but the show must go on. Pardon her and blame DM for not training his dogs.

EVA LONGORIA*sigh* Where do I start? Did she rip her grandma’s sweater and make a gown out of it? She had a big year with her new show, but her fashion has been very disappointing. At least, fit the dress properly na, nne, so you don’t look like an iron sponge for washing Mama Emeka’s black pots. (WORST DRESSED NOMINEE)

LAVERNE COXWay too many trends in one look, drapery, legs, cut outs, shoulder, Grecian – No, no, no! Too much going on! And she was having such a big fashion year! EPIC FAIL! (I’m however glad she redeemed herself with the stunning look at the NAACP Image Awards)

SARAH HYLANDBeautiful dress, if she was 20 years older. I see this dress and I think Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock. This dress and hair aged her so much. As a young girl, she should learn how to dress her age and play with fashion, not looking like auntie mmadu.

KATE MARASeeing as someone did this look at the Golden Globes, I would have thought she would skip wearing this. And any dress that puts all your nipples on display is downright tacky!

13 Comments

Nicole Kidman’s dress was quite a disappointment. Viola Davis looks like she borrowed her fat mother in-law’s dress at the last minute .
Kidman has to be my worst dressed. While Queen Latifah is my best.

Eva Longoria, worst-dressed keh? Did u see the back of her dress?MAGIC! (I don’t know much about “high fashion”, or the technicalities of “Couture”, but if someone’s dress has a very sexy back,pls let’s just be honest and say it!)
I like Giuliana’s dress; I know she somehow doesn’t always have the “it” factor (especially on d red carpet; her work-clothes are usually kinda cute), but what she doesn’t have in slayage, she makes up for in personality.

Helen Mirren is the real queen! That woman must be a witch,to have that body at that age.

Helen mirren was the best dressed 4 me ….she just got it right !!!! I like the fact dat u didn’t explain anything , words can’t contain ow fabulous she looks @ that age .dat being said , Nicola kidman looks like a squashed peach fruit ….what was she thinking *wailing in zulu now * sad part is she has such a lovely body 2 b dressed like rotten cabbage.