Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

I was trying to avoid this...

But, all kidding aside, I need to VENT. So, long story short, I'm the one who balances the checkbook, and i was giving my husband the "budget update" (which is common for us to discuss) and I get wired, ok, I get kind of upset and stressed because the numbers look bad this second. He knows I get stressed about money...this is not new. So, as I talk, I get louder, etc because that's what I do, and it never fails: HE ALWAYS ROLLS HIS EYES AND FOCUSES ON MY TONE. MY FU**ING TONE! I always say, "Hey. if you make it about my tone, then it takes away from the point of this discussion." See, I will vent TO him when I am stressed, but he takes it as though I am venting AT him.
So, I walked away. End of discussion. I'm sick of trying to change, actively seeing a therapist, telling my husband my work woes etc...snd it's like NONE of the positve things I'm trying to do matter...it all comes down to my fucking tone.
He can read me like an open book, and he knows sighing, eye rolling, etc push my buttons. I'm just pissed. I'm fucking pissed he STILL doesn't seem to get it. I've literally spelled it out to him before...and he STILL resorts to the same shit.
OMG I am so pissed! To make matter worse, even though I knew he had plans, he STILL went out tonight after being in class ALL DAY...and he knows I'm upset. I'm not saying he needs to drop everything for me, seriously, but damn it! I feel like a million bucks when I get left behind after being left alone ALL DAY!

deriously. he goes to the Tone word to push your buttons. You do know that right? People push our buttons. Isnt there something he does that you can say bothers you. Probably having no tone from him bothers you. Just give him the check book and tell him he can take care of it.

On a side note, I've suggested marriage counseling before, and he thinks it's stupid. He thinks ME seeing a therapist is ok because it's what I want, but he is one of those types that doesn't see the value is talking to someone.

You're right, Donna, he no tone bothers me. Look, I am FAR from perfect...I can be a dirty fighter too, so I'm not a victim...I have balls, if you know what I mean. But, honestly, I told him ahead of time, &quot;Can wetake ten min to talk about finances?&quot; And...well, you know the rest.

1. He should have realized the budget topic upsets you and reacted with understanding, cooperation, reassurance, and volunteering to be more prudent with the money.
2. He should have given you a hug.
3. He should have taken you out of the house for a 'free' stroll in the sunset holding hands.
4. He should have told you how much he appreciates sharing his life with you and working together to make it the best possible.
5. He should have JOINED you instead of opposing you.

This is all EASY STUFF and only knuckle draggers fail to get this. Married people complain and complain and all they have to do is 'stuff' like this and have a great life TOGETHER instead of a nightmare in opposition to each other. I WILL concede .. it takes both to do this ... BOTH .. not just one. No-one doesn't get 'upset' at times, and that is when they NEED the other .. and the 'other' fails to 'get it'. IT IS NOT HARD. I think a marriage counselor is best suited to turn on HIS lights. Hence, the suggestion.

I hate myself and I have for a while now. I'm having a mental breakdown right now and really need help.

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.