In 2011 Morrissey issued a statement on the website True-To-You.net denying that he was behind a blog called Morrissey's World or that he was on Twitter. He later denied it again. And again. And again. I know a rat when I smell one and I smelt one, a BIG one, so I started to write this blog to record the offerings of the 'fake' Morrissey. What has happened since has been nothing short of phenomenal. The story continues...

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Tuesday, 31 May 2016

It has been fairly quiet in The Wrong Arms of late, but announcements over the past few days on TTY that Morrissey is to play some concerts in Turkey, Israel and Norway in August has set the place alight; with talk aplenty of blue roses in Norway. Both Natalie (@HoarselyCry) and Ewa (@Ewals64) have pledged to take blue roses, which has left me pining for the fjords.... depending on dates, I may try and go.

STAVANGER, NORWAY - WHERE MORRISSEY WILL PLAY IN AUGUST

Mlle Fifi made a whistle stop visit to The Arms on Thursday, merely to 'like' a Bardot picture tweeted by MerryAnne, and to 'like' a tweet I had posted for him (remember Mlle Fifi is actually a man) about my French not being very good. No sooner had Mlle left the building, then Our Mozzer appeared, tweeting, "Language is your enemy". Hmm.

Our Mozzer's next appearance was on Saturday evening, when he tweeted, "Not a single piece of art has come from the mental hospital they say. May I point them to World Peace Is None Of Your Business". When Harrison (@OdysseyNumber5) enquired, "Do you believe there is a fine line between genius and metal illness?", OM replied, "I am that line".... and then he was gone.THE LINE

There was another 'one tweet' appearance from OM last night, when he tweeted, "What a novel my life is", which has got me wondering if Morrissey may be currently penning a new novel... or perhaps the tweet was a reference to his current life, in that it is taken up with the audio recording of List of the Lost, which is due to be released at the end of June.

Today's single tweet appearance from OM followed-on from all the chatter about blue roses in Norway. He tweeted, "Tangled up in Blue".

And finally, news has just broken that the animal loving comedy writer, Carla Lane has just died, aged 87. Her BBC situation comedies The Liver Birds and Butterflies were two of the finest and funniest programmes of my youth - yet another true talent has ceased to be.CARLA LANE

Thursday, 26 May 2016

A couple of weeks ago, Morrissey issued a statement on True To You urging fans to download the song, The Queen Is Dead, to try and get it into the UK Top 100. I wrote on Day 1705 of FTM that because of the way the UK charts were now structured; with audio streaming playing such a major part, that getting fans to download the song wouldn't be enough it into the chart - you would need to get a few thousand downloading to compete with the Spotify generation.

Yesterday, a tweet appeared in my timeline that made me realise that there could an alternative The Queen is Dead campaign, which would not only be more fitting than Morrissey's idea, but also more achievable.... he can't get EVERYTHING right!

"The Queen is Dead up to number 14 in the UK album chart. BUY, BUY, BUY this week to mark its 30th anniversary & make it number 1."

Although I follow the Official UK Vinyl Singles Chart every week, I hadn't looked at the LP chart for a while, so had NO IDEA that TQID was currently riding so high. Jay had actually got the position wrong in his tweet - TQID is currently at No. 15, not 14 - but even so, it HAS to be possible to get it to No.1 in time for the 30th anniversary on June 16th.

Yesterday afternoon, I set about posting the following tweet to as many record shops as I could find on twitter:

"The Queen Is Dead by The Smiths is 30 years old on June 16. It is currently No15 in the UK Vinyl Album Chart. Let's get it to No1. RT "

This afternoon, a new statement has appeared on True-To-You, which would seem to indicate that a certain Monsieur Mozzer has picked-up on the idea. It reads:

"The Smiths' The Queen is Dead is number 15 in this week's official UK vinyl charts. Hatful of Hollow by the Smiths is number 35."
As it happens, my original 1986 vinyl copy of TQID on Rough Trade got destroyed during a house move 20 years ago, and I have never gotten around to replacing it. I shall now replace it next week, with a copy of the 2010 reissue on Rhino.

In other news, Our Mozzer poked his head around the door of The Wrong Arms this afternoon to tweet:

"I know so much more if you're willing to pay"

I will now be listening obsessively every time Morrissey sings Kick the Bride in concert, to see if that lyric change gets used. And if it did, it would of course be nothing more than a coincidence - it always is!

Monday, 23 May 2016

One month today, the people of the dis-United Kingdom will go to the polls in a referendum on whether or not to stay in the European Union. The reason that we are having this vote is because the Conservative party promised it as part of their election manifesto.... not that they usually stick to their promises, but Cameron & Co see this as a perfect opportunity to get rid of UKIP, who have stolen away a number of their voters.

Some rebel Tory MPs can see the bigger picture, and are campaigning to come OUT of the EU because they realise that the unknown and unelected bureaucrats in Brussels who currently make ALL the major decisions concerning the way the UK is run, don't actually care two figs about us.

THE PRESIDENT OF THE EUROPEAN COMMISSION - NAME UNKNOWN - DOESN'T CARE TWO FIGS FOR THE UK

Rather unbelievably, the Labour party, the Lib Dems, the Greens, and the Scottish Nationalists are all backing the Conservative campaign, and are TELLING their supporters that they should vote to stay IN, but this is because they all have hidden agendas. The SNP for example will one day need Europe's assistance when Scotland eventually vote to break away from the UK, whilst the Lib Dems will, like the Tories, see this referendum as the perfect chance to get rid of UKIP once and for all, and therefore win back the 3 million voters they lost at the last General Election. God only knows why the Labour party are backing the 'IN' campaign, but the party generally have no idea what they are doing... although I do like that Mr Corbyn, he seems a good egg.

Whether us Brits like it or not, with all the major parties TELLING their supporters to vote 'IN', this referendum is going only one way.

Morrissey has so far not expressed a public opinion on whether or not he thinks Britain should leave the EU, but today he gave a clue as to his thoughts, by retweeting a tweet of mine that read:

"The UK is governed by an EU commission that has no interest in us. On June 23rd the people have the chance to get rid of them... but won't."

Our Mozzer's retweet would suggest that he too thinks very little to the commission.

The only other sign of OM in the past few days, was on Saturday, when he tweeted:

"Live in the past, die in the future"

Meanwhile, Mademoiselle Fifi put in an appearance at The Arms this evening, sharing a few pleasantries, and posting some Brigitte Bardot songs.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

Pop music came into Morrissey's life at an early age, and he was always very interested in the charts. Many songs that Morrissey listened to in those formative years played a big part in shaping him as a pop star of the future, so as a way of celebrating Morrissey's 57th birthday today, I have decided to make a list, and add a few comments, of the songs that were top of the UK Singles Chart on May 22nd from his birth in 1959 to the end of Morrissey's teenage years in 1978.

May 22nd 1959 - A Fool Such As I (Double 'A' Side with I Need Your Love Tonight) - Elvis Presley (RCA)
A great Number 1 to be born to, with a very 'Moz like' title. Elvis would of course turn out to be a great influence on Morrissey, and Moz even got to record on the RCA label in the mid 1990s.

1960 - Cathy's Clown (b/w Always It's You) - The Everly Brothers (Warner Brothers)
Morrissey's first birthday was heralded by a number one with the rather apt opening line of 'Don't want your lo-ooo-ove anymore'. Cathy's Clown was the very first record on the Warner Brothers label, a label which these days owns the publishing rights to The Smiths songs... and has just refused Morrissey's request to reissue The Queen Is Dead as a single.

1961 - You're Driving Me Crazy (b/w Charley My Boy) - The Temperance Seven (Parlophone)
For birthday number two, trad jazz was enjoying a comeback in Britain, and this quirky tune (written by Brill Building songwriter Walter Donaldson) sat on top of the UK charts. It was a first No.1 for future Beatles' producer, George Martin, who 25 years later would be asked by The Smiths to produce The Queen Is Dead - he declined.
Was You're Driving Me Crazy the Something Is Squeezing My Skull of 1961? Er, no, probably not. Morrissey also went on to release records on Parlophone.

1962 - Good Luck Charm (b/w Anything That's Part Of You) - Elvis Presley (RCA)
Another of The King's songs greeted The Mozziah's third birthday, and it was another song from the famous Brill Building writing team, this time Wally Gold.

1963 - From Me To You (c/w Thank You Girl) - The Beatles (Parlophone)
Morrirrey's fourth birthday coincided with The Beatles celebrating their third week at number one with From Me To You, and incidentally, it was one of the few songs actually written by Lennon & McCartney (or McCartney & Lennon as they were known then) together, as they travelled on a coach to Shrewsbury. The influence would have been huge on Morrissey, who subsequently wrote ALL of his songs on coaches to Shrewsbury.

1964 - You're My World (b/w Suffer Now I Must) - Cilla Black (Parlophone)
By the age of five, Morrissey was no doubt bopping around the front room, and it isn't hard to picture him belting out 'You're My World', which was Cilla's second number one of '64; although it is the Bobby Willis (Cilla's husband) penned 'b' side, 'Suffer Now I Must', that has been named by Morrissey as one of his favourite songs, and no doubt a song that influenced his own writing.... and general outlook on life!

CILLA AND BOBBY

1965 - Long Live Love (b/w I've Heard About Him) - Sandie Shaw (Pye) Long Live Love was written specifically for Shaw by Chris Andrews, who wrote a number of her hits. A six year old Morrissey would have had no idea that he too would be writing songs that Shaw would be recording less than twenty years later. The b side, I've Heard About Him is a beauty. Pye is one of the few major record labels of this period that Morrissey actually hasn't recorded for, but he may have been close to doing so when Sanctuary reactivated the label in the summer of 2006. Morrissey left Sanctuary soon after.

MORRISSEY & SISTER JAQUELINE - 1965

MORRISSEY AND SHAW IN '84

1966 - Paint It Black (b/w Long Long While) - The Rolling Stones (Decca)
Is it really that hard to understand why Morrissey turned out the way he did, when his seventh birthday was greeted by the number one lyric of, "I look inside myself and see my heart is black"? Decca is yet another label that Moz went on to release on.

MORRISSEY - 50 YEARS AGO - AGED 7 IN A TREE

1967 - Silence Is Golden (b/w Let Your Hair Hang Down) - The Tremeloes (CBS)
It is doubtful that the eight year old Morrissey spent his birthday money on this cover of the Four Seasons song, especially as it knocked Sandie Shaw's Eurovision winner 'Puppet On A String' off the top of the chart. The Tremeloes singer Chip Hawkes would later see his life take a turn for the worse, as he went on to father Chesney.

1968 - Young Girl (b/w I'm Losing You) - Gary Puckett & The Union Gap (CBS)
As the charts went through a late 60's lull, perhaps the nine year old Morrissey saved his birthday money once again, just waiting for Bowie & Bolan to break into the mainstream....or he may have spent it on sweets!

1969 - Get Back (b/w Don't Let Me Down) - The Beatles (Apple)
As birthday Number 1s go, to have had two from Elvis, two from The Beatles, plus one each from Sandie, Cilla and The Stones by the age of ten, wasn't bad going.

MORRISSEY - FAR RIGHT OF THE PHOTO

1970 - Back Home (b/w Cinnamon Stick) - The England World Cup Squad (Pye)
The first ever football song to reach the top of the charts, and one can only guess as to whether an eleven year old Morrissey was gripped enough by the build-up to the 1970 World Cup Finals to purchase this seven inch. If he did, the dreadful 'b' side 'Cinnamon Stick' may have intrigued him more. I'd guess that a young Steven was more interested in collecting the Esso World Cup coins....maybe.

1971 - Knock Three Times (b/w Home) - Dawn (Bell)
1971 saw Morrissey's beloved T Rex achieve two number ones, with Hot Love in March, and Get It On in July. Knock Three Times by Tony Orlando (Dawn weren't even formed at this stage, it was just a made up name) would have been all over the radio, but would a twelve year old Morrissey have liked or bought it? I doubt it.

1972 - Metal Guru (b/w Thunderwing c/w Lady) - T. Rex (EMI)
The fourth and final T. Rex number one (Telegram Sam hit the top in Feb '72), Metal Guru would surely have been among Morrissey's thirteenth birthday presents; unless of course he had already bought it for himself. Bolan said at the time that, "Metal Guru is a festival of life song. I believe in a god, but I have no religion, and I thought God would be all alone without a telephone." Bolan was also quoted as saying, "I don't answer the telephone anymore, I have codes where people ring me at certain times." It is VERY easy to see the HUGE influence Bolan had on Mozzer, who not only went on to record for EMI, but also copied the T Rex style of record cover.

1973 - See My Baby Jive (b/w Bend over Beethoven) - Wizzard (Harvest)
As Morrissey hit his fourteenth birthday, the mainstream charts would have been having much less effect on him, and he was probably starting to discover alternative, less commercial music. Where as 1971 & 1972 had been great years for pop, 1973 saw glam rock become more mainstream, and the teenyboppers emerged as Donny Osmond and David Cassidy arrived on the scene. The Harvest label was yet another from this era that Moz ended up releasing on.

1974 - Sugar Baby Love (b/w You Could Have Told Me) - The Rubettes (Polydor)
When Showaddywaddy turned down the offer to record Sugar Baby Jive, the writers, Wayne Bickerton & Tony Waddington decided to manufacture a band, who they subsequently named the Rubettes. I would be amazed if the fifteen year old Morrissey had any interest in this song, and no doubt even his love of the Eurovision Song Contest was waning by '74. Remarkably the Rubettes label, Polydor, was yet another that Morrissey would go on to record for, although Moz would insist that the actual labels on his 7 inch singles would be paper, and not the plastic ones that had started to appear in 1974.

1975 - Stand By Your Man (b/w I Stayed Long Enough) - Tammy Wynette (Epic)
I very much doubt a sixteen year old Morrissey added this single to his collection, and very few other songs from the charts of '75 would have said anything to him about his life.

1976 - Fernando (b/w Hey, Hey, Helen) - Abba (Epic)
A seventeen year old Moz celebrated his seventeenth birthday to the sound of Abba, which was then knocked off the top of the chart by J.J.Barrie's No Charge. The charts were in a poor shape, and it was no wonder the teenage Morrissey fled to his Aunt Mary's home in America, and on his return, locked himself away in his bedroom.

Friday, 20 May 2016

Our Mozzer has made a couple of appearances in The Wrong Arms over the past couple of days. On Wednesday afternoon he tweeted a picture of the Australian flag, and later on tweeted:

"I am human kindness" followed by,

"Honour thy error" and then later in the evening

"I didn't understand Joy Division then and I do not now."

I replied to the latter, "If Curtis hadn't died when he did, they would have been long forgotten... Love Will Tear Us Apart was their ONLY song of note", to which OM replied

"and what a note it was"

IAN CURTIS - A ONE NOTE PONY
Yesterday afternoon, OM tweeted,

"Please message me the names of your least favourite audience members. I know them all. Nothing like a bit of drama to keep me entertained"

And that was it!

I am wondering if "honour thy error" could be a clue to Morrissey's next album producer. In 1975, the legendary Brian Eno produced a set of cards called, Oblique Strategies, and one of the 113 cards had, 'Honour thy error as a hidden intention' written on it. How wonderful it would be to have an Eno produced Moz album.

Following the tweet of the Australian flag, OM sent me a 'direct message' saying,

"Do not report on my latest post"..... so for now, I won't publish this entry, but I really don't know why OM wants to start censoring me now, when I have been writing about his tweets for the past 5 years! Its not as though he is the real Morrissey, and it's not as though anyone believes a word I write. So what if an Australian tour were to suddenly be announced; me writing about it means NOTHING! What is more, the whole point of this blog of mine is to write about the tweets of the faker who is claiming to be Morrissey.... bollocks to it, I WILL publish after all, and to hell with the consequences.

*Goes off talky singing* Oh, cheeky cheeky, oh naughty sneaky, you're so perceptive, and I wonder how you knew

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Yesterday, I travelled up to Londinium on the train, in order to see Ricky Gervais perform an 'in progress' gig at the Finchley Arts Depot. As I often do when I travel to London, I decided to wear a Morrissey t-shirt - I see it as 'wearing my colours', just as British football fans wear their teams shirt when travelling to Benidorm for their summer holiday.A BRITISH FOOTBALL FAN HEADING TO BENIDORM FOR HIS ANNUAL HOLS

My t-shirt of choice for yesterday's journey was the one with the Oscar Wilde picture emblazoned with, 'WHO IS MORRISSEY?'.

As I pulled the shirt on, I smiled to myself, remembering the huge stage backdrop that Morrissey used in 2012 of Oscar with a speech bubble, asking that question..... and then it suddenly dawned on me just how little the Blue Rose Society made of that backdrop - it was a MASSIVE sign, in that Our Mozzer had just formed the rose society on his MorrisseysWorld blog in honour of Oscar, and here was Morrissey having Oscar basically asking, who are yer?

THE OSCAR BACKDROP AT RADIO CITY HALL, NEW YORK IN OCTOBER 2012 - THE SCENE OF THE FIRST ACCEPTANCE OF A BLUE ROSE BY MORRISSEY
When the backdrop first appeared in Nagoya in May 2012, I simply observed on Day 231 of FTM, "The backdrop was Oscar Wilde, with a speech bubble asking, 'Who is Morrissey?'. NONE of the other BRS regulars picked up on the importance of the backdrop either, with the only comment left regarding it at all on Day 231, coming from Jaz (calling herself Zazie back then), who wrote, "that backdrop is suspicious." A MORRISSEY BLOG STARTS A ROSE SOCIETY IN HONOUR TO OSCAR WILDE, MORRISSEY THEN ADDS WILDE AS A BACKDROP, AND WE FAIL TO SEE THE RELEVANCE! YOU COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP!

"OSCAR WAS THE FIRST OF THE GANG" - AS SUNG IN NAGOYA, MAY 2012

As I sat on my train yesterday, I posted a picture on twitter of me wearing the Oscar shirt, and tweeted, "I don't think we really appreciated at the time just how BIG a nod to the BRS the 'Who Is Morrissey?' backdrop was." Mademoiselle Fifi marked the tweet as a 'like'... and probably looked to the skies at our incompetence.

And whilst I am on the subject of Morrissey t-shirts, I can report that the (Following the) 'Mozziah' t-shirt that appeared in the Morrissey MPorium in mid March, has now disappeared. It was obviously a special limited edition. I am so pleased that I bought one, but I don't imagine many others did. Some new designs have taken its place, including a, 'this very smug mug of mine', released just as You Are The Quarry - the greatest LP EVER - turns 12.

And as for Gervais; who was possibly involved in the writing of MorrisseysWorld, he was very funny, touching on subjects like rape and masturbation. What I like about Gervais is that, just like Moz, he does what he wants, says what he wants, and doesn't give a shit who he offends.

And finally, Esther, and finally, Cyril, Our Mozzer put his head around the door of The Wrong Arms just before 1pm today to tweet, "Immaculate rejection". Has Morrissey received yet another set back in his quest for a new record label? And why oh why hasn't he been signed by the Beggars Group? The independent Beggars would be perfect for Moz, where he could release on either Richard Russell's XL Recordings or the Beggars Banquet label a la Nico? It would seem to be the perfect next home for Moz. Come on Richard Russell, let's be having you.RICHARD RUSSELL
*Goes off singing* Friday mourning, there comes a time, before that breaks this very smug mug of mine

Sunday, 15 May 2016

My blog entry of yesterday; marking the 5 year anniversary of MorrisseysWorld, had the lowest number of page views since I first started writing this blog. With the exception of a handful of loyal readers who have continued to stay involved with the MorrisseysWorld phenomenon, everyone else has bailed out. Those who had been reading my blog because they had a hunch that perhaps the deluded dozen might just have got it right, have obviously now lost interest, and discarded their hunch. I doubt even Rosy Mires reads FTM anymore.

I remain baffled as to HOW Morrissey fans failed to see what was right in front of their eyes, but I am no longer shocked. Over time I have come to realise that unless something has a 'tick' of authenticity, or unless people are TOLD something by someone in 'authority', then it simply CANNOT be true. Morrissey couldn't have been involved with MorrisseysWorld because Morrissey didn't say so; in fact, he said the opposite, so that was good enough for the masses. The story ends.MORRISSEY'S DENIALS AND PICTURES LIKE THIS ONE ON THE MORRISSEYSWORLD BLOG, CONVINCED MORRISSEY FANS LIKE ROSY MIRES THAT HE WASN'T INVOLVED

Yesterday, Morrissey issued a statement on True-To-You congratulating the Smiths, Stephen Street and Rough Trade for, "30 fantastic years of sales for The Queen Is Dead, which is 30 years old in June." It is quite possibly the nicest thing that Morrissey has said about Judas Joyce in the last 20 years!

MORRISSEY AND STREET

The TTY statement went on to add, "I urged Warner UK to issue a social 'The Queen Is Dead' single release for the first week of June... but... brick wall. Bleeding to death, I therefore have the restless gall to ask of you that, should you have 99 cents/pence that you purchase 'The Queen Is Dead' track in the final week of May, thus possibly edging it into the corner of everyone's ear in the UK Top 100."

I really CANNOT understand why Warner UK would not want to release a 30th Anniversary single; particularly as Jeff Buckley's version of The Boy With the Thorn in His Side sits proudly at the top of the Official UK Singles Vinyl Chart for a second consecutive week, but they must have their reasons - as Morrissey also wrote in the TTY statement, "perhaps some label bosses have their eye on a tatty OBE".

MAX LOUSANA - CEO WARNER MUSIC UK - AFTER A TATTY OBE FROM HIS QUEEN?

There is currently HUGE interest and demand in vinyl, and only two days ago, a real hubbub occurred when a new Radiohead 7" turned-up in independent record shops - it sold out within hours. A The Queen Is Dead 7" would undoubtedly have created a similar hubbub.

Following on from the TTY statement, my immediate thought was to start a campaign to get people downloading The Queen Is Dead in the week commencing Friday May 27th - Morrissey's thinking, no doubt, is to have TQID in the chart in the week leading up to Elizabeth Battybird's 'official' 90th birthday on June 11th.

As I don't have Facebook, I posted a tweet urging people to buy TQID from May 27th, and asked all of my 143 followers to re-tweet my tweet, to help spread the word. I got a grand total of 9 retweets! It dawned on me that I wasn't going to be very useful in this campaign, so paid a visit to the Morrissey Solow website, to see what they were doing to get The Queen is Dead into the chart. As it is a Smiths song and not a Morrissey solo song, I had hopes that Uncle Skinny & Co would, for once, be positive about such a campaign, but as soon as I read Skinny calling the idea "sad" and him telling anyone who would listen that the song is not in fact about the Royal family in any way, shape or form, I realised Solow would be as useless as ever... and also realised that Peter Finan (Uncle Skinny) remains a cunt of the highest order. He is so far down his hole of hatred, that all he can now see is darkness and dirt.

WHY INDEED!

This morning, as I sat thinking how I could get a campaign going to get The Queen is Dead into the chart; similar to the campaign that successfully got Killing in the Name to No.1 and Ding Dong The Witch is Dead to No.2, it suddenly dawned on me that in 2016, it is in fact impossible to manipulate a song into the charts. In 2014, chart rules changed, allowing audio streams to count towards the UK Singles Chart. Inevitably, just as the 7" vinyl replaced the 10" shellac, and the CD single replaced the 7", and the download replaced the CD single, the audio stream has now replaced the download; to such an extent that Apple are now planning to TERMINATE downloading within the next two years - the download's dead boys, and it's so lonely on a stream.

My two offspring - I can no longer call them children - are 16 and 17, and listen to music all day, every day. They are typical teenagers, and like all of their friends, neither of them owns ANY FORM of physical music whatsoever. They both pay a monthly subscription to Spotify, and have NO INTEREST in 'owning' copies of the songs they listen to. This is the modern world.

The music industry has gone through unbelievable changes over the past decade, but if the 'buying' of downloads does disappear, I see it as a really positive thing for both music consumers, and recording artists. It would effectively leave two consumer camps: those who want to OWN a copy of the music they listen to - like me - and those who want to RENT a copy of the songs they listen to - like my kids. It would be a bit like the housing market, with the purchased download representing nothing more than a holiday, and not a home at all - you pay for it, but have nothing to show after. The way I see it working, is that a record or CD is released on a certain date, with a free download code, and it is then made available for audio streaming very soon after. This is pretty much what happens with film releases.

As for a track from The Queen is Dead getting into the chart, I guess that is only likely to happen when Battybird dies, or when Moz dies.

In other news, Mademoiselle Fifi popped into The Wrong Arms this afternoon, to listen to me playing Diana Dors's, Hooray For Love on the jukebox, and to exchange a few nothings with myself and Manclad. If only the masses and those with hunches had realised. Oh well!

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

At 4.30pm yesterday, our old friend Mancladmozfan tweeted to hint that Morrissey was heading to London. Manclad is a trolley dolly for one of the major airlines, so has access to passenger details.MANCLADMOZFAN AT WORK

My immediate thought was that perhaps Moz might pay a visit to The Wrong Arms prior to flying, which he sometimes does; usually tweeting something about not being around for much longer.... that fear of flying obviously grips as strong as ever!

I wasn't to be disappointed, for at 7.15 (11.15am LA time) Our Mozzer popped in for a few exchanges, which I am pleased to say, included his possible departure. Here are his offerings:

"Lick the floor where the queen has stepped or bow in submission instead."

"Kiss me quick, soon I'll be gone"
In response to bit-part actor, Ewen Macintosh (who played the part of Keith in The Office 15 years ago... and not a lot since) posting a 'eyes to the skies' face emoji and sarcastically tweeting, "Ah, Mozza is on the old Twitter again I see":

"Did you pay for your followers? I don't recall you doing much post-Office. Are you waiting for a John Prescott biopic?"

Marcus the Greek (who is a friend of Keith's, er, I mean Ewen's) tweeted, "That's cruel", to which Our Mozzer replied, "and?"
Keith, er, I mean Ewen, it's Ewen, it's Ewen; who incidentally has mocked MorrisseysWorlders back in 2011, '12 and '14 for believing that Morrissey was on Twitter, then tweeted, "Being cyber bullied by the emo kids. Now I've seen it all!" Typical of his type, happy to dish it out, but cries "bully" when he gets it back. Poor, poor Keith!MACINTOSHPRESCOTT

Our Mozzer's final offering was, "Always."
At 5pm LA time, social media started to report that Morrissey was at LAX - Manclad's info was once again correct. Perhaps now that Our Mozzer is back in a proper time zone, we will get to see him in The Arms more often.

MORRISSEY AT LA AIRPORT - SPORTING A GEORGE MICHAEL (OR IS IT SAM SMITH) BADGE ON HIS CARDY

In other news, Biebs has had a small cross tattooed on his face, has shaven his head, has broken down in tears on stage, has announced that he will no longer have photos taken with fans, and has been feeding squirrels bare foot in the park. It is surely only a matter of time before he discovers the music of the Smiths.