To let DS feed himself from the highchair tray?

Birthday lunch for a family friend at a country pub. 8 adults, DS1 (3yo) and DS2 (13mo)

We eat out a lot with the DC so they behave pretty well; no shouting, chucking food etc. DS1 eats like a mini-adult, uses cutlery, no probs. DS2 feeds himself nicely and has done for months (BLW) but as his pasta has arrived as an enormous adult-sized portion on a plate, I pick up a dollop or two and put them on the tray of his highchair. He scoffs away. The babywipes are poised next to him.

Waiter(asst.manager/supervisor?) hovers; 'is there something wrong with the plate?'Me; 'sorry?'Waiter; 'IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PLATE?' (crossly, with sarcasm)Me; <stammers> um, oh, sorry...it was a bit hot...he tends to push the plate around...might get broken...I WILL clean the tray myself and wipe up any mess when he's finished...Waiter;'oh, it's just I couldn't believe it when I saw you just dumping it on the tray like that'Me; DH; Er, hang on a minute mate, that's how he eats? No harm done! Do you have children?!'Waiter; 'no, but I was one once, and my mother would never have just put food in front of me like that...she'd have fed me properly'

At this point my bottom lip went and DH asked him if he'd meant to be so rude(!). He then said; 'well, half of your party were 30mins late for the booking, and then she (gestures) dumps food straight on the table....'

I got a bit upset. Soothing noises ensued from all our party. After about 20mins he returns

Waiter; 'um, right, about earlier; I'm sorry you were upset but... 'Me; (cutting in) 'are you apologising?'Waiter; 'no, thank you for cleaning up, but I stand by what I sai..'Me; (nicely) 'I don't want to hear it, thanks!'Waiter; (loudly, while walking off with his hands raised in despair) 'Ok, fine, you just carry on doing that in every restaurant you go to and see what happens...'

YABU and gross.It's not exactly good table manners is it.You might well do it at hom bit that doesn't mean to say you should when you are out.Also the hygene issue- dishwasher operates at a high temeperature to sterilise crockery.A wipe down won't do that.

He was extremely rude regardless of whether he was unhappy with what you were doing. He is representing the restaurant and should present himself as polite and professional at all times. So no YANBU and should complain to the manager.

I agree with the hygiene issue though, even using baby wipes god knows what bugs are lurking on a restaurant high chair. I would want to sterilise it first before I would put food on it!! I would use the one at home though in this way as the tray can be detached and washed thoroughly.

The neck of him! I complained about a two year old on a potty in the middle of a pub restaurant once, well, I primarily complained about the fact that the child stood up and ran off to play, and the parents left the steaming pot of piss just sitting there, but the manager seemed too embarrassed to approach them Your one seems to have enough balls for both of them.

hwbu! That's how DS eats too, giving him a plate would be a disaster! It would be straight on the floor. He had food on the high chair tray in restaurants too and it's never been a problem! Hope you complained!

Do the people worried about hygiene go about steralising the floor in front of their crawling babies? They do stick everything in their mouths at this age you know, a highchair that's been wiped is the least of your worries.

YADNBU. And good lord I'd not be in the slightest concerned about the provenance of the cleaning cloth. My 13 month old, in the company of most of the toddlers I know, spends a goodly proportion of his day scrabbling underneath furniture and stealthily ingesting whatever he finds there. I'd suggest a quick wipe of a tray with a wet wipe would probably suffice, hygiene wise.

he was very rude ........... I would have complained to manager. Your DC would prob have left less mess than many by picking food up with fingers off tray than deliberately / accidentally tipping plate off the tray !

I worried about germs one of them sticky bottom plastic bowls are great to take along if one thinks about it before hand . Harder to throw as well

Wow, I would have demanded to speak to the manager, I would write a letter of complaint to the head office and to be really honest I would have told him to fuck off and most likely tipped the bloody pasta over him but then I am evil .

And one to the waiters mother. Lauding her skills at feeding her child and expressing sadness that she did not extend this devotion to installing basic manners and a degree of professionalism into him.