Monday, April 7, 2008

Gesundheit! Clearing Congestion in New York City

As you may know, here in New York City we’re waiting to find out if our state’s legislature thingy will approve Mayor Bloomberg’s congestion pricing plan, and the deadline is today. Basically, congestion pricing would mean that drivers of motor vehicles entering midtown Manhattan would have to pay a fee, and the idea is to cut down on traffic, smog, and idiots. If you want to know more about the plan or the politics surrounding it, check out Streetsblog or the New York Times, since looking for actual information here is like looking for derailleurs on Fixedgeargallery.

I’m all in favor of congestion pricing. After all, supposedly it works in London, and everybody knows New York gets all of its ideas from London. (The subway, pubs, and English are just three examples.) However, I also think Bloomberg’s plan stops short of perfection. Certainly he has to appease people, but here are a few more components I’d like to see added at the 11th hour:

A Complex Schedule of Surcharges

In addition to the base fee for cars and trucks, I'd like to see the following additional fees tacked on:

Vehicles with vanity plates: $2.00Vehicles with vanity plates that simply re-iterate the make or model of the vehicle: $5.00Vehicles with license plates from states that include their URL on the plate out of desperation because they’re “loser” states (I’m looking at you, Pennsylvania): $10.00Any vehicle bearing a presidential campaign sticker: $1.50Any vehicle bearing a presidential campaign sticker for an election that has already passed: $2.50Any vehicle bearing a sticker or emblem espousing the driver’s religious beliefs: $5.00Any vehicle whose driver must compulsively advertise his or her ownership of a Harley-Davidson motorcycle through the use of stickers, decals, license plate frames, or spare tire covers: $10.00Any vehicle with an “Eddie Bauer” trim package: $50.00Any Swedish or English vehicle: $15.00Any vehicle with a roof rack that has provisions for hauling more than one type of outdoor recreational equipment: $5.00 per additional equipment mountAny vehicle being operated in “manu-matic” or “dork” mode: $7.00Escalade-Pushing Moto-tards: $125.00

A Ban on Fresh Direct Deliveries

Fresh Direct is a company that delivers gourmet groceries to your home in a giant truck. You can generally find these trucks parked in bike lanes and stopping traffic for blocks as they replenish the Sub-Zero refrigerators of Park Slope brownstone owners who don’t want to use their Audis for fear of losing their parking spaces. Fresh Direct only operates in the nicer New York City neighborhoods, which means if you live in one of their delivery zones you also probably already live within walking distance of a high-end supermarket that stocks the sorts of organic exotica you can’t live without. Fresh Direct argue that their methods are more environmentally friendly than traditional supermarkets, which may or may not be true. But one thing is for sure: they cause more congestion than a Persian cat in an asthma ward. I’ve literally seen fire engines stuck behind double-parked Fresh Direct trucks with their sirens blaring. So unless Fresh Direct starts training their drivers to put out four-alarm blazes with bok choy and Pom juice, I say they do way more harm than good.

A Ban on Zip Cars

Zip Cars are the motor vehicle equivalent of those public bikes they have in Europe. Basically the service allows members to grab a car, drive it around for awhile, and then drop it off somewhere else. Zip claims that their service actually cuts down on car usage, arguing that their members choose not to own cars. This makes no sense. They’re offering access to cars cheaply and conveniently. How does this cut down on driving? It’s like McDonald’s claiming that their customers eat fewer hamburgers because they don’t have cows at home. There’s even a smug little quote on their website from someone named Martha which says, “Keeping a car in your driveway when you’re concerned about global warming is like keeping cookies in your cupboard when you’re trying to lose weight.” What a load of self-righteous, organic, locally-grown crap. Keeping a car in your driveway doesn’t hurt the environment at all. It’s the driving that causes emissions, so unless Zip car users are paying to simply look at the cars then they’re spewing just as much carbon monoxide as anybody. Plus, you get the unique pleasure of sharing the road with infrequent drivers in unfamiliar automobiles. If you’ve ever rented a car, gotten stuck in a sudden downpour, and realized you had no idea where the wiper switch was, you have an idea of what Zip car drivers are like every day. I'd rather share the road with taxis than with Zip cars. Because the worst New York City drivers are the ones with no experience driving it it.

Yes, today's post was a classic. The zip car ban was a piece of work, kemo-snobby. I needed a good laugh at lunch. BTW, I didn't read the post before reaching the podium, I just happened to be going to yesterady's comment section when I noticed the opening. I feel kinda like those guys that take a cab to the finish of a marathon, douse them selves with energy drink and shit themselves as the cross the finish in a faked epic peformance. Well, I don't feel that bad, really.

Yes, today's post was a classic. The zip car ban was a piece of work, kemo-snobby. I needed a good laugh at lunch. BTW, I didn't read the post before reaching the podium, I just happened to be going to yesterady's comment section when I noticed the opening. I feel kinda like those guys that take a cab to the finish of a marathon, douse them selves with energy drink and shit themselves as the cross the finish in a faked epic peformance. Well, I don't feel that bad, really.

Ouch, guilty as charged. Man, can you blame the Commonwealth of PA for trying? "A" for effort, admittedly, the fred factor w/ plate URL is off the charts. How about this plate frame, available on Amazon for US$5.08?

Your admonition to "stick to what you know" is more than fair. However, don't they have to build the Zip cars too? And part of what Zip touts is that they use new cars. I wouldn't be surprised if the rapid turnover of their fleet cancels out any of the supposed green-ness of their endeavors.

Well if RTMS gets these surcharges passed, I'll need a loan from upperclassman to get into the city to see RTMS "jumping the shark" in the suspended glass cube. Darn my right wing, pround to announce it, multisport, multi-vehicle, vanity showing, foreign vehicle driving lifestyle.

Damn, "Rip Torn's Mugshot"... today's post will cost me $8.50 in additional BSNYC/RTMs fees each time I enter the city. Well, I may as well make it count for something and engage in spontaneous car vs bicycle chicken and demolition derby. Hey, I've gotta get my money's worth somehow.

So I guess I'm an idiot because I do drive into Manhattan a few times a year. The good news is that I would rack up 0 surcharges.I gotta disagree about the Zip cars. If you need a car on occasion but not a regular basis, it's much better to rent or use Zip than to own. Thats one less car that had to be produced therefore consuming much less energy and resources on the production end of the spectrum.

Great post although, as a cyclist and a zip car user, I can see some logic as how zip car may decrease certain users car usage. I don't own a car and when I rarely need one I will rent a zip car (say for hauling large things). If I were to own a car, I may be tempted to be lazy and use it when walking/biking/public transportation is more efficient. But because zip car has a direct fee I only use it when needed.

No- they are actually manufactured in the respective country of origin, while owned by an American or Indian parent company. Schwinn et al are owned by an American company, but manufactured in the far east.

By Grabthar's hammer... anything that helps keep us middle class scum out of New York, and enhances the size and impermeability of the Kael Bubble* surrounding Manhattan, Williamsburg, and selected portions of Hoboken, Westchester and Connecticut, is okay in my book, as long as it comes bundled with a way to keep you f***ers away from us.

We should probably consider travel restrictions that limit New Yorkers' foreign travel to friendly ecosystems amenable to Manhattanite and Manhattanite-like life forms. That means restricting NYC'er travel to no further north and west than Rockland County; no further south and east than Mount Morris, NJ; and no more culturally distant than quaint B&Bs in Vermont run by retired gay married couples from the East Village. If you want to ski, you can have Vermont. Please leave the Rockies to us, we're tired of hearing that Jackson Hole "F***in' sucks compared to the indoor slope in that mall in Flushing Meadows." In the cultural spoils settlement agreement, Washington D.C. will stop asserting that it has a real opera company and football team, but in turn gets to keep the Southern 2/3ds of the Jersey Shore, except for Rehoboth which will go back to to Eastern PA and Baltimore, in exchange for Philly admitting it has no sports teams whatsoever, and Baltimore admitting that it is in fact a rehab clinic with really nice houses, not a city. New Yorkers then have to admit that the real, good New York hockey and hoops teams are the Devils and Nets. From now on, those hybrid New Yorker/New Jerseyites - the LawnGuyLanders - will have to stick to Fire Island, the Islanders, and frozen pizza if they want to go to a beach, have a sports team, or engage in food criticism commensurate with their tastes and what they deserve, respectively. The rest of the country in turn agrees to stop feeling culturally inferior to NYC, for such period as NYC'ers can agree to stop talking about how bad the rest of the country sucks, from the comfort of your 350 sq ft $2000/month lofts that you share with 3 other wage slaves/baristas/long-term-unpaid-interns. Oh yeah, and the rest of the country will concede your visitation rights to Boston and all of Eastern Canada, if you want it. Some would say this requires a state-level lawmaking, but I'm pretty sure the Upstaters (the real ones, not the ones from Duchess County) won't have any objections to that as long as you don't come poverty pimping in Elmira or Massena, or buy McMansions in the Thousand Islands. (Bona fide made men will be permitted to retain houses in Upstate New York. Hey, we're tryina runna bizness heah). If there are any problems, I'm sure we can figure out a way to smooth things over with the governor, though the actual form of the payment (sex, sex and drugs, cash money bribes) may vary depending on who the governor is this week.

PhillyCarShare is hardly the original. The entire business model was based on a car sharing service out of San Fran, it's probably the oldest on the est coast but...

Car Sharing actually does reduce the number of cars on the road (and increase the available parking spots) and users drive much less as the cost of driving is much more apparent. They are more likely to bike, walk, or use public transit.

Hilarious post today but personally I'm against this congestion plan. It's total horseshit. I live in NYC and I drive into work every day simply because I'm not near a subway station and to rely on the bus service to get me there is like relying on Bush to say something intelligent. This plan is flawed and will inconvenience a lot of NYers, including those that don't drive in. Don't be fooled, the entire city will suffer because of this plan. Trains will be twice as packed, parking garages will lose money and congestion won't be reduced that much. And how do you charge the trucks that NEED to be in the city to make deliveries? That right there shows me that this plan isn't about congestion or pollution but about money. The city wants more of it. And if you live in the city be ready to pay more for everything cause the prices will go up since all these companies now have to pay $21 a day just to drive around in the Manhattan.

Want to really reduce congestion? Reduce the number of cabs on the streets. If you're forcing drivers to take the subway then why do we need cabs? Hiring traffic cops that give a damn. Crank down on double parking. Implement a better signal system to keep traffic flowing.

Personally I would be all for a plan that would reduce congestion and help the environment. But this isn't that plan.

I guess the real response that should come after all of you taking the time and effort to defend zipcars would have to be: f**k you if you can't take a joke. This is a satirical blog. Look up the word if you're unsure what it really means.

What about a surcharge for stickers proclaiming sexual orientation - I don't need to know if you are straight, bi, tri, or anything else when I see you driving around.

To be fair we can also do it for the cars that have the family stickers. A buck per member - Mommy, Poppy, Anna, Chuck, Willy and Thumper. A Pox on all of you for letting me know about your happy little nuclear family.

Hey, Techb3, do you ever find that when you get to the bottom you go back to the top of the slide,where you (skid)stop and you turn and then you go for a ride 'til you get to the bottom and you see us there, yeh, yeh yeh?

actually, i've read them all. despite my reactions i have yet to address bikesnob or any other member who has commented with the hatred and contempt i suddenly feel for you. In a related story, i dont believe my comment was directed to you either so with that i bid you a kind "fuck off." MYOFB

Re:'Please leave the Rockies to us, we're tired of hearing that Jackson Hole "F***in' sucks compared to the indoor slope in that mall in Flushing Meadows."'The rest of you should also leave us alone. I was at Alta yesterday and heard a tourist say "I thought this was supposed to be the greatest snow on earth." Its fucking April and there's a 13 foot base and he complains its too springy? What do you want from us?

Ok, so we drive the populous into the subways, but then we're going to need more surcharges:

+$1.00 for fat people+$2.00 for anyone with BO or Axe body spray+$28.00 for hands-free cell phone users shouting like insane homeless people about tomorrow's sales meeting.+$10.00 for guys who hit on women.+$10.00 for guys who hit on guys+$5.00 for those who walk between cars for no good reason.+$3.00 for that guy who always sleeps through his station.+$2.50 for anyone with leaky headphones listening to "American idol" albums.+$12.50 for anyone listening to "Canadian idol" albums.

The proceeds of this should be used to subsidize other riders: the poor, students, Canadians, Haliburton Gas and Oil, etc.

congestion pricing is dead. Time to leave NYC for good. This place will continue to suck even more without CP. Let's hope at least Central Park can be closed to cars all day every day all this summer. Heck, why wait for summer; close Central Park right now to cars. All those douches living in Westchester can tell their drivers to find another way into midtown.

BikesnobNYC,You are such an idiot,whether or not you are joking or serious you seem to be against most everytrhing that you don't agree with.Iknow this is part of the reason for having a BLOG in the first place,but enough is enough.I do,however agree with a couple of your points but why are you so angry?

In order to bring on the carpocolypse you need more cars not fewer. Have unlimited car service and taxi licenses. Cheaper gas should be available in midtown.Remove parking meters. Maybe remove key traffic lights ? Let market forces work things out.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the rapid turnover of their fleet cancels out any of the supposed green-ness of their endeavors."

As I said, that's because you're a snarky comedy cycling blogger, not an engineer *that we know of*.

If you jumped over to the automotive section of craigslist, you'd see plenty of powdercoated former ZipCars for sale to the less urban, hip denizens of the NY metro area. Things don't just fall off the edge of the world when they leave the 5 boroughs. I'm living proof.

...the new ceramic "rip snob bike mug"...guaranteed to keep your overpriced "blah, blah, blah" caffeinated wonder drug pipping hot...use it in the office, on the bike or if you dare, in your 'waiting in line' car......only $19.95 on-line @ bsnyc/rtms.com...not sold in stores...

someone did their homework! kudos. guess it's time to change the profile photo. i'm impressed. finally someone has been paying attention to the news. he does kind of look like a hipster to the news deficient though. dont you think?

Actually keeping a car in your driveway does hurt the environment. The energy and resources needed to produce a single car is huge. So not having that car is perhaps one less car that gets produced somewhere along the line. AND those Zip cars encourage use only when you really need it. Instead of driving every time you want that slurpee, maybe you walk instead, and drive only when you want the big gulp.

Personally, I'd rather see a political/religious sticker than something like THAT.

Hey, people... why are you going to pour gasoline on a fire? I realize we can't /ignore here but honestly... let Techb3's poopy thumb grease up his spacebar and move on. There's really no reason to pay any attention to him - are you all so retarded to think he's not just TRYING to get a rise out of you at this point? No matter how intelligent your rebuttals are it's just going to encourage him. Oh yeah, and BTW: That stripper wasn't really planning on leaving with you (and she's not really in college for marine biology either).

Holy Shit! Between covering a great topic (RTMS), having a psyco attempt a blog hijack (techB3), a geography lesson (Jim) and getting r.a.'d (r.a.), today was a cornucopia of writing. Well done!

Well done except for you blog hijacker- posting over a few times without being the moderator does not show moxie, it shows socially deviant tendencies with a whole lot of anti-social behavior mixed in, topped off with whipped cream and a little cherry.

Oh, and nuts, don't forget the nuts.

Also, telling fellow (non-psychotic) posters to fuck off over and over again reveals that you are 11 years old and just learned a cool new saying for someone who disagrees with you. You need only ask prolly and the crew what happens when you raise the ire of the this group(po). Wait- that would mean you were something other than a blog tourist gracing our presence with your witty and artful writing for but a moment, before you inevitably move on to your next attention seeking blog hijack attempt.

What about a surcharge for Baby on Board stickers on massive 4 wheel drives. Having to look at them makes me puke that the inhabitants are so pompous that they have to publize about the fruits of the successful act of coitus

...awww...i'll bet it's been a big day for techb3...he's prob'ly sittin' around tonite in his jammies w/ the built in foot thingy's, all tuckered out...besides all that kung-fu defending of ego & attitude, he took the time to introduce his family to the regulars...

...first there was the bumper sticker w/ a picture of his brother who makes $0.46 a day doing laundry in the lovely town of ossining, up on the hudson......& then the picture of his sister, in the tub doing what she does best in life...heck, not just anybody can do that kinda specialized work......& when ya take the time to share w/ the boys, well ya can't be all bad...& hey, at least the guy builds bikes, even if they're overpriced...

"since looking for actual information here is like looking for derailleurs on Fixedgeargallery." should be, "*because* looking for actual information here is like looking for derailleurs on Fixedgeargallery."...

Hey idiots, NYC is not like London or any European city. It was built,planned and structured for commerce. That is why we have a grid system, underground rail lines, and once the greatest seaport in the world with goods coming into and out of all points East and West. People always rode bikes here. This used to be a financially livable city with employment in all economic strata where families used to live. There was room for blue collar workers, white collar, light manufacturing, and the greatest rail and ship lines envied by the world. Now it is a third world economy...dependent on tourism and fines...no port to speak of, no light manufacturing, no real finance jobs(they escaped to Conn., India, Far East, etc.)Rotten schools, rotten standard of living,super corrupt politicians, and people who have remade this a city that closes at 5:00PM M-F. There are close to a million less people living here than in the 50's! I hope I can escape before the Bloomberg's, Malone's and implants completely destroy the fabric of the once great city I was raised and once worked in. This was once a great and exciting place to live, work, and raise a family in. RIP and thanks for the memories, they've raped, robbed, and defaced you beyond recognition.Walking along the old abandoned docks breaks my heart..no more markets, neighborhoods, shopping districts, haunts,or human electricity...it's a place as bland,humorless, as the creeps that have somehow taken over.Unbelievable, narrowing "Broadway", closing Times Square, parts of 57th st.and 34th Street to traffic!This has become a city for the rich and the hapless homeless. Empty glass boxes, no more craftsmen, no more imagination or energy...not even a decent plumber...only bookkeepers, accountants, meter maids, and fast food delivery people on bikes, rickshaws!! What the F*&*^?!

It seems like the only intelligent or thoughtful post was Antonio's. How are deliveries to be made? How are musicians, tradesmen, UPS, Fedex, truckers... people who must have vehicles supposed to function...I suppose air lifts and parachutes might be an option except that the heliport was closed due to air congestion and rotten maintenance. Too many taxes, no more municipal parking, NO PARKING or STANDING on pain of bankruptcy. Manhattan used to be the cheapest and most convenient place to live in if you"knew"the city. OY VEY!!Everything here now costs a fortune,if you can find it! Why is Antonio the only one who understands or cares why? Bloomberg, Paterson,(must we have to keep seeing Koch?) and the rest of you city council groveling asses(to Bloomberg)term limits-- go away! This guy runs the the city like a business, yeah a sweatshop...tax, permits necessary to breathe, levy fines on every thing and every activity unless you are rich enough to pay...destroy the little guy...a service economy for the poor to service the rich! Voters, rebel! It's the only hope unless the entire city goes on strike like it did when people had the energy and intelligence to care! What would happen if no-one showed up to vote? It's non-violent but would send a real message and shake up the nation!Alas, some people like getting the raw deal.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!