I think it's sweet and lovely. It's easy enough for those who don't want to participate to simply not participate. it looks like the toys are inexpenisve little toys - worst case scenario, just toss them. and for those who are giving out candy anyway, they can give the toy to the little boy.

IT's very hard for parents of kids who are on special diets to celebrate holidays like halloween that are so candy-focused. this is a great way for the child to take part without compromising his diet.

Not sure. It kind of assumes people will be home and participating, doesn't it? I am also thinking there is a likelihood of more than one kid dressed as an angry bird so you would still have to ask for names. Then a kid getting candy might see the toy and reqiest one...

The dad says that Flectcher will be introducing himself as he goes to each house so the homeowner won't need to ask.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

I thought the dad did a good job trying to cover all the basis on why someone would be upset about his request and to make is easy on his neighbors.

I like it. I keep a few toys around in case someone can't have candy for whatever reason, although I've never been asked.

Regarding #3 with the laser light. That one made me grin. When I was very little, my mother had a blouse decorated with a few rhinestones. If she stood in the sunlight just right, little round rainbows would appear on the way. Man, I loved those little rainbows.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

It would be more contact with the neighbor than I want. And if you have to call him then you have to be home to meet this total stranger, I really don't want that. I notice he does not say that they can come to HIS house to drop it off, tho' - I would be able to that late at night when there was NO chance of meeting him.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

It would be more contact with the neighbor than I want. And if you have to call him then you have to be home to meet this total stranger, I really don't want that. I notice he does not say that they can come to HIS house to drop it off, tho' - I would be able to that late at night when there was NO chance of meeting him.

In that case, you're free to dump it in the trash. You don't "have' to do anything, but if you "want to", the Dad has provided his contact information. The bolded almost makes it sound like you're ascribing some sort of malicious or predatory intent to this guy who just wants his son to have a normal Halloween experience.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

It would be more contact with the neighbor than I want. And if you have to call him then you have to be home to meet this total stranger, I really don't want that. I notice he does not say that they can come to HIS house to drop it off, tho' - I would be able to that late at night when there was NO chance of meeting him.

I would imagine he'd be agreeable for you to come by and drop it in his mailslot. I think he was probably trying to think of the easiest way for the neighbor to return it. The way he's written that letter, I suspect he's a reasonable sort of person who would do whatever the neighbor felt was best - including just throwing the trinket away without any contact with him.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

It would be more contact with the neighbor than I want. And if you have to call him then you have to be home to meet this total stranger, I really don't want that. I notice he does not say that they can come to HIS house to drop it off, tho' - I would be able to that late at night when there was NO chance of meeting him.

In that case, you're free to dump it in the trash. You don't "have' to do anything, but if you "want to", the Dad has provided his contact information. The bolded almost makes it sound like you're ascribing some sort of malicious or predatory intent to this guy who just wants his son to have a normal Halloween experience.

I would not trust a guy I don't know to come to my house. The entire thing would creep me out entirely. Nowhere in the letter does he say you can toss the toy. I would think that if you don't return it they will be expecting you be participating ( as in only going to house that did not return it) . So keeping it would be wrong - and setting the kid up to think this was a house he'd get a toy at, when that was not so.

The dad seems like a reasonable guy, so I imagine he would respect the porch light indicator that you aren't participating in Halloween - I doubt he's going to stand there banging on your door demanding Fletcher's 59 cent trinket. And I doubt that he's maintaining a master list of addresses that he sent the letter to, just the ones that told him they didn't want to participate, so he can definitely know to skip those houses and relieve the householder of the bit of plastic. I think it's a great example of a parent taking the responsibility for their child's issues, not expecting the rest of the world to accommodate them.

The dad seems like a reasonable guy, so I imagine he would respect the porch light indicator that you aren't participating in Halloween - I doubt he's going to stand there banging on your door demanding Fletcher's 59 cent trinket. And I doubt that he's maintaining a master list of addresses that he sent the letter to, just the ones that told him they didn't want to participate, so he can definitely know to skip those houses and relieve the householder of the bit of plastic. I think it's a great example of a parent taking the responsibility for their child's issues, not expecting the rest of the world to accommodate them.

The dad seems like a reasonable guy, so I imagine he would respect the porch light indicator that you aren't participating in Halloween - I doubt he's going to stand there banging on your door demanding Fletcher's 59 cent trinket. And I doubt that he's maintaining a master list of addresses that he sent the letter to, just the ones that told him they didn't want to participate, so he can definitely know to skip those houses and relieve the householder of the bit of plastic. I think it's a great example of a parent taking the responsibility for their child's issues, not expecting the rest of the world to accommodate them.

What I would do, if I were the father, would be to go door to door with the toy, explain to the adults, and see what they thought. If they weren't going to participate or be home, then move on. If they were gonna be home but seemed hesitant, didn't want to deal with it, then move on. If they *were* willing, then give them the toy, and write down that address. Then later, when trick-or-treating with his son, go only to the houses with addresses on his list, and have his son introduce himself. That way, only houses who have agreed to participate have a toy to begin with. There's no need to return the toy, there's no feeling guilted into it if somebody just doesn't want the trouble, or if the person who will be giving out candy won't be available until the last minute and there won't be time to explain it to them, etc.

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The dad seems like a reasonable guy, so I imagine he would respect the porch light indicator that you aren't participating in Halloween - I doubt he's going to stand there banging on your door demanding Fletcher's 59 cent trinket. And I doubt that he's maintaining a master list of addresses that he sent the letter to, just the ones that told him they didn't want to participate, so he can definitely know to skip those houses and relieve the householder of the bit of plastic. I think it's a great example of a parent taking the responsibility for their child's issues, not expecting the rest of the world to accommodate them.

I completely agree with this.

And even if you are handing out candy but don't want to participate in giving the toy, he doesn't sound like the type of guy who would make a scene. If you put a piece of candy in his son's bag, he sounds like the type who'd politely say thanks, move on, then remind his 8 yr old son that he can't have the candy. I just don't see where this guy is out to make trouble with his neighbors.

What I would do, if I were the father, would be to go door to door with the toy, explain to the adults, and see what they thought. If they weren't going to participate or be home, then move on. If they were gonna be home but seemed hesitant, didn't want to deal with it, then move on. If they *were* willing, then give them the toy, and write down that address. Then later, when trick-or-treating with his son, go only to the houses with addresses on his list, and have his son introduce himself. That way, only houses who have agreed to participate have a toy to begin with. There's no need to return the toy, there's no feeling guilted into it if somebody just doesn't want the trouble, or if the person who will be giving out candy won't be available until the last minute and there won't be time to explain it to them, etc.

That's a possibility, too. However, that seems like more trouble than what he actually did. Plus, it doesn't remedy snowdragon's concern. I think sending out a generic "here's something you can do to help my child - take it or leave it" type of thing like he did was easiest for all involved.

The usual "I'm not doing Halloween" signal is the porch light. I find that that's pretty standard amongst trick-or-treaters to not go to one with the light off. Just something you know when you go out.

And, again, with the way the letter is written, I think this is a reasonable father who is just trying to make things as easy as possible. He's not giving hard and fast rules - he's just giving some alternatives if you don't wish to participate. If it's easier for you to just run by after dark and slip the toy back into his mailslot, I don't get the impression he'd mind. He probably didn't mention that because, in his mind, it seemed like more work for the person. He was offering to do all the work himself to make it simple for the other people.

The dad seems like a reasonable guy, so I imagine he would respect the porch light indicator that you aren't participating in Halloween - I doubt he's going to stand there banging on your door demanding Fletcher's 59 cent trinket. And I doubt that he's maintaining a master list of addresses that he sent the letter to, just the ones that told him they didn't want to participate, so he can definitely know to skip those houses and relieve the householder of the bit of plastic. I think it's a great example of a parent taking the responsibility for their child's issues, not expecting the rest of the world to accommodate them.

I completely agree with this.

I agree too. I think Fletcher's dad is taking some chances that some of his trinkets will hit the trash and isn't really expecting anyone to jump through special hoops. If you really wanted to make sure the toy was returned, but did not wish to give up your address, he left a number, and I'm guessing he would be more than happy to provide his address, so someone could drop it off, even leaving it on the porch with no personal contact. He's not expecting anyone to do any footwork, which is why he offered to pick it up, and certainly you could leave the trinket on the porch. Or toss it. Your level of participation is entirely up to you.

The dad seems like a reasonable guy, so I imagine he would respect the porch light indicator that you aren't participating in Halloween - I doubt he's going to stand there banging on your door demanding Fletcher's 59 cent trinket. And I doubt that he's maintaining a master list of addresses that he sent the letter to, just the ones that told him they didn't want to participate, so he can definitely know to skip those houses and relieve the householder of the bit of plastic. I think it's a great example of a parent taking the responsibility for their child's issues, not expecting the rest of the world to accommodate them.

I completely agree with this.

Ditto

Yup.

I'm the sort who hates being roped into participating in others' lives, but this is about as non-intrusive as it gets. Could he have fleshed out more ways for returning the toy, or given the recipient explicit permission to bin it? Sure. But honestly, no one's perfect and IMO this guy did a stand-up job of handling the situation.

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