Tuesday’s TPS Report: Tweed-Check Blazer

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I just splurged on a different Armani Collezioni blazer for my recent birthday — but if I hadn’t, I’d be eyeing this one. Love the high collar, those seams along the waist, and the three buttons on the front — and the gray check tweed strikes me as super versatile. It was $1,195, but is now marked to $418 at Neiman Marcus. Tweed-Check BlazerSeen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected](L-3)

Comments

ARGH, guys, I just got an angry call from a partner who was in court today for a motion and I had forgotten to notify the other party, so the motion can’t be heard. ARGH. I feel like I should have remembered – I don’t do litigation normally (just estate stuff) but I totally forgot we had to notify the other party (I am only used to uncontested things!). And now the partner (who is chilly normally) is super mad at me and she can’t bill the client for her time today. :( Ack. I apologized and said it must have slipped off my list, it’s my fault, etc etc. Is there anything else I can do? I just feel awful.

I’m so sorry! If you acknowledged the mistake, sincerely apologized, and plan to take every step possible to ensure that it never happens again, I think that’s all you can do. That’s still an awful way to start your day, though :( many internet hugs.

Don’t dwell on it. However, the one thing that you can do other than taking responsibility (which you’ve clearly already done) is to tell the partner what you will do to avoid this problem again in the future. In reality, you will probably never make this mistake again regardless of whether you make a new system or not, but if I were the partner it would make me feel better to know that you’ve got a system that would act as a double-check.

I’d make the same sincere apology/mea culpa in person when she returns, acknowledging the impact the mistake had on her. And as above, include any steps you’ll take in the future to avoid this, or just tell her you are sure this is one of those mistakes you will only make once because you realize the gravity.

Thanks, all. I just talked with the partner and she is not as mad as I thought (yay!) and apologized for being a b*tch on the phone, even!

She just wanted to make sure that I knew that notice was a part of doing a motion, so I said yes, I know that but forgot to take that step of things in this case, and will remember next time that that is part of the 3 things you need to do – file with court, mark up for hearing, and notice parties. Sigh.

So I still feel like an idiot, but I am less upset than I was before. Sigh. Thanks everyone!

It is mortifying, especially for something that is logistics/process oriented rather than “super-special Einsteiny-skill requiring.” But we’ve all made those mistakes before. Don’t be too hard on yourself!

I also blew it today. I was up until 3am on Sunday night/Monday morning finishing an assignment, and in my fog on Monday, was asked to attend a conference call with Big Boss and Big Client regarding an aspect of the case I’m involved in. I’ve never talked with Client before. I was forwarded the email setting the conference call for x time, and I put it in Outlook for x time. Except reading comprehension fail, it was x time in CLIENT’S time zone, and so I put it in Outlook for much later in the day than the call was much later today than it was. And then this morning I get an email from Boss asking why am I not on the call. I look like a total idiot. FML.

Timezones are the worst. I was on a case once where different parts of the team were in three time zones and we hit daylight savings, but one of the places (Phoenix maybe) didn’t switch. To say people missed meetings all the time would be an understatement.

BTW SF Bay Associate… I made an anonymous e-mail address and posted it in yesterdays coffee break if you really want to be pen pals. Though I’m a little worried we’re going to actually know each other or something!

I think about this kind of thing often, and try to guess who someone might be if they are from my area. Question: if it turned out you did know each other, would that be awesome (hooray for kismet!), or just-ever-so-slightly disappointing that you didn’t get an entirely new friend to discover for the first time?

To be fair, I’m in Boston, so there is a pretty slim chance we actually know each other.

But probably hooray awesome.

Also, one time a friend did identify me on here based on something I wrote, so I’ve tried to be more careful since then (and also not write anything I wouldn’t be okay with everyone in the world knowing). Boy was THAT a surprising e-mail.

I’m pretty sure I don’t know anyone in Boston, TCFKAG, especially if you never went to school in California. Pen pals could totally be fun, but I’m bad at keeping up with my met-IRL friends already with my workload, and I’m a lousy correspondent. Plus I’m kinda too lazy to make an anonymous email address. You’re awesome and we’d totes be friends in real life, so I hope this isn’t too disappointing. But, if you ever find yourself out here, I’d be delighted to grab lunch, and fully intend to impose upon you next time I’m out in Boston. Still (virtual) friends?

She (?) is a troll on many sites. She cannot spell and puts emphasis on strange words (usually). The manageing partner stares at her all the time, and she hates him because he has bad breathe. She and Allen were dating for a long time but recently broke up due to his alcoholism (though there was a possible rekindling over Christmas?)

I think that some posters now post as Ellen because the style changes from time to time.

Don’t worry, there will be a MAN for you. You must make yourself available, but not too available to the men. Once the men realize they can get the milk for free, they won’t buy the cow. So be a little judicious in giving of yourself, and stay away from alcoholics who just want to have sex and run.

I had recommended Knitterette yesterday! Sorry, the drama’s lost on me. I haven’t crocheted (other than trim) in years. I love Ravelry – it’s been great for looking at what other people have done with the projects I’m working on. Awhile back, I was working on a couple of sweaters for twin baby girls and couldn’t face the embroidery on them then saw on Ravelry that somebody else had used buttons instead of embroidery. I used teddy bear and daisy buttons and they were adorable! I’m lucikatsmom on ravelry. The only problem I have with it is forgetting to take pictures and post them!

I should be working, too, but woke up dizzy and sick and unable to put a foot off the bed. Pretty sure it must have been some prepackaged fruit I ate last night. Blah. Back to sleep.

Thanks! Now that you say that, I can knit in bed! Hadn’t thought of that (felt too bad so far). I have a sparkly scarf that I should finish for Mardi Gras (not for me) and I could probably do that today. The more complex sweater pattern will have to wait.

BTW NaughtyKnitter, my Rav name is just a little too close to my real name for me to be comfortable sharing it on here. Can you just advise when the group has been set up and perhaps I can “request” an invitation after that?

OH MY GOD I couldn’t even handle this week’s episode, and kept sending caps-locked texts to my other Downton-watching friend. I will refrain from being specific, to avoid spoiling anyone who hasn’t seen it, but if you have…you know what I mean!

I did love this week’s episode, but I thought the one story line with Lord Grantham (trying not to be too specific to avoid spoilers) seemed inconsistent with his character. I think I get what the writers/producers were trying to do, but it just seemed cliche and not believable. Otherwise – bravo! Can’t wait for next week’s two-hour season finale!!!!

I think they’ve been trying to make him a little less noble all season. But I also didn’t like where it was going and glad they cut it off where they did. LG’s relationship with lady G has been one of my favorite aspects of the show…

His sudden transformation into Emo Boy was certainly out of character. I guess Julian Fellowes really wanted to beat us about the heads with Lord Grantham’s mid-life crisis, as though we hadn’t already picked up on his “But I want to get called up and go to the front, too!”

I was so upset by this as well because just a few weeks ago I was thinking how refreshing it was that the writers hadn’t muddled that up. I watched last night and loved every minute . . . some really excellent one-liners (mostly from Maggie Smith, of course)! I’m sad there is only one left in the season!

“Bleak House,” available for streaming on Netflix. Then “Wives and Daughters,” and “Upstairs, Downstairs” (both the 1970s original and the sequel set in the 1930s, although sequel may be available only on amazon. Then, if you can get DVDs, “Cranford,” “Return to Cranford,” and “Lark Rise to Candleford.” All of that is of course assuming that you have already seen every version of every Jane Austen novel. #totallyborninthe wrongcentury

I’ve been meaning to watch Bleak House, thanks for the reminder. And I definitely agree with the “Wives and Daughters” rec, I’ll also throw in a few more suggestions: “North and South”, “Daniel Deronda”, the BBC “Sherlock” series (anxiously awaiting season 2!), and “The Buccaneers”. Would love to hear other suggestions!

Ellen has written in to Miss Manners today.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a very well mannered young lady in south Fla. & was wondering how I can tell successful men that keeping their hands to theirself & not kissing etc. is not acceptable! I am mid-western raised with very high morals. I’m wondering (in a nice way) to tell them they aren’t being appropriate! I would love to find a book about manners & just give it to them!

Heh. I love it when the grammar is so bad you have trouble figuring out what they’re actually trying to say. My boss’ communications are like that. And then he gets mad at me when I don’t understand what he’s talking about.

Anyone ever buy anything from Peruvian Connection online? I keep seeing their ads pop up on certain blogs I read, and some of their stuff looks pretty nice (although some of it is a little too muted earth mama for my taste). Just wondered what the quality is like . . . .

Ooh! Ooh! Yes! So many things. I love and desperately miss Montreal. I haven’t lived there in 2.5 years so not sure about the restaurant scene anymore. But things to do:
Juliette et Chocolat – LITERALLY A CHOCOLATE RESTAURANT. Savoury buckwheat crepes and salads and things, but also a ton of desserts, amazing hot chocolate, brownies, fondue, chocolate cocktail-type drinks. Seriously. Go. By now they have 3 or 4 locations.
Museums – the Fine Arts/Beaux Arts museum on Sherbrooke is fantastic. There’s also a science centre or the biodome if you have kids, the Botanical Garden if you go later in the spring, a modern art museum, and the Pointe a Calliere museum in the Old Port all about Montreal/Quebec history.
The Old Port is great for wandering. So are streets like Mont-Royal and St-Denis (Plateau area, east of downtown) for shopping, little boutiques, that kind of thing. Ste-Catherine downtown is great for the more brand name shopping and is connected to the Eaton Centre mall. Sherbrooke, a bit more west, is good for posher anglophone boutiques.
I have to run to a meeting but will keep thinking. What kind of thing are you looking for?

A chocolate restaurant? Seriously? We had no specific plans, but that sounds like exactly what I need to find.

We are just going up to get out of our city for the weekend. We have no big plans as it’s a bit spur of the moment. Generally we like to wander around neighborhoods and see sights, though I’m not sure how tolerant I will be of that given the cold.

Either way, chocolate restaurant + shopping will make me one very happy lady.

Atwater market (or Jean talon, but it’s a but farther) I think it might be maple syrup season, so if you see a tray of snow in the market be sure to have a Little House moment and try the maple syrup candy.

Sugar shack = Best kindergarten field trip ever. For serious. I distinctly remember my mother being irritated that I had sap alllll over my onesie snowsuit, and eventually just buying a new one. I think that was a function of age though, since I assume most adults know not to play with sap.

Maple Syrup season doesn’t usually start until spring, when the sap melts, so it can run into the buckets to be boiled down, to make the syrup. That’s probably closer to late-March/early-April. But there are still lots of maple products to be had.

Jean Talon > Atwater. There’s a whole maple store at Jean Talon. All they sell is quebecois products, which is primarily maple stuff, and like…really good jam. Note to self: pick up maple butter at grocery store tonight.

Hike up to the top of the mountain and bring your skates (there’s a pond for skating at the top). Walk along St. Catherine, and make sure you visit Simons and Ogilvy. Get St. Viateur bagels (not Fairmont. Seriously, not Fairmont), have Schwartzes smoked meat (I’ve been vegetarian since I left, and but for this meat, I w0uld have been vegetarian sooner). Santropol is the perfect place for lunch or late breakfast, their bread is so good, and the cream cheese combos are also to die for. Rockaberry has fantastic pie/cake. I also love Lola Rosa in the McGill Ghetto, but I’m not sure if it’s worth the adventure there, depending on where you’re staying and the amount of time you have.

The Jean-Talon market is super cute, if you can make it out there. The Latin Quarter is nice at night. Yes, definitely, to wandering around Old Montreal during the day, especially since it backs on to China Town, which is also nice to visit. There are some great restaurants in that part of the city also, but very pricey. La Club Chasse et Peche comes to mind, if they’re still around. It was probably one of the best meals I’ve had. Ever.

I loved the modern museum on St. Catherine, and there’s one on Sherbrooke west of Peel on the south side of the street that was also pretty good (I saw Catherine the Great’s Gold Carriage there!).

I’d also try hard to get tickets to a cool concert or play something of that sort, because that’s something that Montreal definitely has (and something I miss). Most of their productions are in English.

Also, I loved O Noir as a dining experience, I’m not sure if they have it in other cities, but I very much appreciated both the food and the experience. And for breakfast, Eggspectations is delish, though the name is obviously a little pun-y (if that bothers you).

These are great recommendations! I second Santropol for lunch, and the museum of contemporary art at Place des Arts is fab. Atwater market is fun to walk around — there’s not as much to see in the winter, but it’s still great for picking up a few tasty things to nibble on (try some spruce or maple pop, and a macaron from the bakery). You can go ice skating at night at the Old Port right now, it has a very fun francophone vibe (think electronic music, funky lighting and people wearing neon snow pants). If you’re in the mood for a fancy dinner, there are lots of lovely little bistros in the St Denis/Mont Royal area, some of my faves are La Salle a Manger and Au 5eme Peche. There’s also lots of shopping if you’re interested in that, bigger name stores along St Catherine and more funky shops/boutiques along St Denis. If you’re in the market for leather goods, check out Rudsak (a Canadian company that sells gorgeous, if pricey, bags and coats and things).

Following up on yesterday’s conversation, does anyone know if they make wide-calf socks? I like to wear boot socks that come up above my calves, but in the last few months I’ve taken up spinning and my calf width has increased to 16″. Apparently this is too big for my existing socks, because now they seem quite stretched and they fall down as I walk. My current favorite socks are from Loft but they don’t make different sizes. I’d love to find some wide-calf ones that are soft and have interesting patterns, and cost $5 or less per pair (because I was seriously shocked by some of the $20 socks people were posting yesterday).

I have 16″ calves, too, thanks to genetics and a lot of running, and I’ve never had any trouble with regular knee socks. Actually, I do have one pair that falls down, but I think they are all cotton, so I think that it’s the lack of elastic that causes them to fall down. I have a lot from the Gap (love them — fun colors, nice and warm, but wait for coupons/sales), and quite a few made by Hue (thinner than the Gap ones, but still like them).

my calves are also about 16-16.5″ and i like american apparel’s knee socks. they’re nothing fancy, just your standard faux-70s/80s athletic stripes at the top, but they come in some fun colors. i wear them under boots and they come up to the bottom of my kneecap, and are usually 3/$20.

Does anyone here work in a job where opposing counsel is often a law school legal aid clinic? How do you find the responsiveness of the law students/professors involved? I am just curious because I am pretty appalled at the law clinics in this area. One clinic I work with regularly loses documents, does a really poor job filing necessary documents, and takes forever to get back to me and the hearing officers (I do administrative hearings). Another clinic seems to have no grasp whatsoever of the state rules of appellate procedure.

Is this normal with a lot of law clinics or is this just isolated to my area? I did law clinic in school and felt like it was a much more serious experience. The professors wanted us to learn how to do things correctly and set a good example for students to have when starting out their legal careers. I just don’t feel like that’s the case with the clinics in the area.

Don’t even get me started! When I was at a firm, we were adverse to a law school clinic–the clinic at the law school I attended so I expected good things when the case started. It was terrible!! Not only is it frustrating to get new lawyers on the case every four months–and good luck finding any over the summer and during exams (I totally understand about exams and we were very accomodating not to have deadlines fall during those weeks)–but they seemed to think everything should be a HUGE fight and we should file motions and go get argument settings over every.single.issue. There was no “let’s all agree to X” when dealing with them. As a result, the case took WAY more time than it should have and actually went to trial (which never should have happened–even though we won so I should have been happy to get trial experience). Also, it drove me insane that you were never talking to a decision-maker–every call ended with “let me go talk to Professor and I’ll get back to you.” Um, I’m just asking for 5 more days to respond to your requests for production–do we really have to go ask the prof.? It particularly irritated me because the prof’s response was always setting up some unnecessary fight.

Before that case, I was a regular donor to my law school’s clinic. After I saw the absurd litigation moves they were learning, I quit sending checks. Those students were only learning how to be total a**holes. Not how to run cases and work with opposing counsel to achieve the best results for their clients.

Uh I’m sorry, but yes, students do often have to ask Professors if you can have “just 5 more days” to respond to the requests for production. The entire point of a clinic is to gain experience in litigation (or whatever type of law the clinic does) because we haven’t had any experience before. We don’t know yet if it’s a big deal or not to extend your requests to respond. You have to consult with your team and your professors to reflect on whether that would be a good decision. Additionally, because students have classes to worry about too, different tasks on cases have to be divided up. I would never agree to give the other side an extension if I wasn’t the one in charge of dealing with discovery requests. Sorry that it’s inconvenient for you, but that’s the way learning happens, and it benefits thousands of indigent clients across the country.

I agree that the tone came off a little shrill, but I don’t think she’s out of line defending herself. Law school clinics across the country have faced a lot of criticism lately (due to their existence, not their performance as above), especially those at public law schools; and the continued function and academic freedom of some clinics has been threatened.

Sounds like the professor SunnyD mentions needs to do better at teaching students the importance of negotiation and cooperation with opposing counsel, and demonstrating to them when it may be okay to take the lead instead of waiting for every little issue to be rubber-stamped. The students themselves don’t know better yet, though, and if they are being unnecessarily aggressive, they DO need to be reined in.

I agree; it can be difficult to tell what is no big deal and what absolutely needs approval. The professor needs to do a better job of explaining this initially, but it may be difficult to anticipate every single issue that may come up and identify whether or not it needs to be approved.

Also, if we’re talking about delay here, which delays a case more: taking a few hours/a day to check with a professor or taking five extra days to respond to requests for production? I think that a little more patience is really needed on both sides.

I have worked with several law clinics in a similar capacity to yours, and I was in a clinic, and I never had such a problem. In fact, I found that law students tend to be more diligent than lawyers, perhaps because they’re so afraid to not do everything right. Perhaps the students at your clinic are poorly supervised?

Your state must have some authority that authorizes clinical students to practice. I’d send letter to that authority about the deficiencies in this school’s clinic. It may seem harsh, but the students are doing their clients a serious disservice, and they obviously need closer supervision and more training if they’re going to continue to practice with the clinic.

Hmm. I’m a student in a law clinic, and I generally call people back on the day that they call me. That said, like most law students, clinic is definitely not my full time job, and I am often at work/internship/in class.

One reason for this could be that the student needs to have the content of conversations approved with professors before they can get back to you. For example, every email that I send needs to be approved by a professor before I can send it out. I often prepare a reply right away, but it takes days for the professor to get back to me with approval. I inform the people that I will be communicating with of our system and that the best way to get a quick response from me is by phone. (I also just call if it is urgent rather than waiting). It is possible, I suppose, that other legal clinics have similar policies when it comes to phone calls. I can’t account for the losing documents, though.

Honestly, it is usually opposing counsel (real lawyers) and case workers who are unresponsive. Also, I’ve found as a child rep in domestic relations proceedings that the parties’ lawyers try to get me to do work that they should actually be doing and that has nothing to do with the representation of the child. (“Why don’t you draft the order regarding [some item of property] and I’ll approve it?”… Nice try. ) The parties will also call me rather than their lawyers to be their sounding boards because I am free and their lawyers bill them. (Sorry, not my job… I will listen to my clients- the children- or the parties if they are discussing the children until the cows come home, but I don’t need to hear the parties b*tch about money, property, and each other. They can call their own lawyers.)

I do think that letters may be a good idea. There is obviously something wrong with how the legal clinics that you are interacting with are done.

When I worked for a clinic in law school, all communications went first to our supervisors, then got sent on to us, and then our response had to go through the supervisor, then to the paralegal to be sent out. I would respond fairly quickly, but it would often be a couple of days before I got a communication, and then a couple of days after I got it before it would be sent out. It was just an artifact of the fact that every. single. thing. I did had to be approved by a supervisor per my state’s rules.

Thanks all. I really think it is an issue with supervision at both the clinics in question. By “forever” to get back, I’m not talking 2-3 days. It can be weeks to over a month to get a basic document such as a notice of appearance. Often times I will have to beg the professor via email to have the students file, and the professor never so much as responds to my email or apologizes for any delay/inconvenience that waiting a month or more into the semester might have caused. It’s just a matter of common courtesy!

V-day related threadjack: my husband and I never do anything more than cards to commemorate this Hallmark holiday, but last night he came home with a present — awesome new running gear, including the Under Armour compression tights y’all so wholeheartedly recommended last week (I was the one that asked the question under Wednesday’s TPS thread). I’ve just started to get back into running (used to run half-marathons relatively regularly, with one full in there too) and I never seem to be able to spend money on this kind of stuff for myself.

So, just wanted to say that I’m really enjoying today and that I totally underestimated the motivational power of shiny new workout gear. That is all.

I’m running my first half marathon in not too long, and my long runs are going pretty well except that my joints start to hurt. It’s pretty frustrating because I feel like my lungs (which used to be the problem) could run so much farther. Do compression tights help with this problem?

I have knee issues when I run (runner’s knee), and the Pro-tec patellar tendon strap made a world of difference for me. Also make sure you’re properly fitted for shoes and that you’re wearing good socks.
Haven’t tried tights for joint/muscle issues, just for warmth!

Supposedly they help blood flow during exercise. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know that they’re super comfy. I am not sure that compression tights would help with joint pain, but it’s worth a try. Once you’ve tried them you won’t want to go back to regular sweats.

Like Bluejay said, compression gear supposedly helps with circulation. I don’t notice too much difference, but one of the kids on my team swears by his compression socks. To each her own.

Compression won’t do anything for your joints. They should, though, adjust as your body gets used to the increased pounding of your long runs. Frequently, it’s easier to train your aerobic system (lungs, heart) than it is to accustom the actual frame of your body to the increased strain, so what you’re experiencing is totally normal. If you don’t start feeling better in a long run or two, though, I might see a sports medicine doctor.

My mom says this all the time about my husband. She also tells me my “picker worked well.” The first time she said it, I thought she said I got a keeper and that his pecker worked well. I just about died.

My mom just sent me a receipt from Kate Spade online indicating that she just bought a new KS purse. I will tell you that my entire life my mother only bought low-end handbags that she would replace every six months to a year.

She blames me and I blame y’all.

Actually, I’m really happy she bought it. She just had a health scare and deserves a little treat, and rarely spends money on herself.

Does anyone know if an employer can retroactively change your tax status? I just found out my former employer issued me both a W-2 and a 1099 for 2011. The 1099 is for the last quarter of 2011, which I presume is because my company was unable to pay payroll taxes. My company was having financial difficulties and I have been out of work since the end of December when the hours on my contract ran out. The company is pretty much bankrupt and is shutting its doors. I do believe there is no money — it’s a small, veteran-owned LLC and I know the owner was dipping into his own pocket to pay some people.

I’d been with this company since 1999 and always got a W-2, but now, completely unexpectedly, I have to pay taxes on 3 months of net wages. Several issues going on here. 1. I was never notified. 2. My take home pay remained the same for the time where I was apparently a consultant. 3. Because I was issued a 1099, I am legally responsible for that tax.

I feel like I should do something, but after my research last night I’m not sure what direction to start. If anyone has any thoughts, I would appreciate them. I have an IRS office about 20 minutes away from me that I think I’ll go to. I’m not even sure if there is any recourse.

Yes. It sounds like they issued you a 1099 in error (legally speaking; I’m sure they did it on purpose). They cannot change the terms of your employment like this without your agreement. It is likely illegal in your state.

Sucks for the owner because it sounds like he’s a nice person, but it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t have to pay for it. If they can’t pay the payroll taxes, then they can work that out with the IRS themselves.

This sounds like a huge issue. I recommend working with the IRS (usually would not recommend this if you have any sort of culpability, but you don’t here, and you haven’t filed your return yet).

Did the company issue you pay stubs during this period? Look at the pay stubs and see if they withheld (or claimed to withhold) from those paychecks. If they withheld and did not actually remit that payment on your behalf to the IRS, there are major repercussions for the company (Trust Fund Recovery Penalty, etc.).

You’re far from culpable. What on earth made you think that? Your employer has likely violated state and local laws. Talk to your state labor and wage authority before you do anything else. You have until mid-April to figure out the tax issue.

Nona, you are right in that you are still responsible to pay but if you file an extension and don’t pay at the the time you filed the extension, the only thing that will happen is that you will be responsible to pay a late penalty and interest. It’s not that big of a deal so if you are strapped for cash on 4/15 but know that you will have the money to pay by the time you file your returns, just file the extension and plan to save a bit more for the penalties and interest.

It’s not advisable but in AnonForThis’ situation, I would wait to pay.

WHY do you feel culpable??? Your employer cannot just change your status from employee to independent contractor because it is going out of business and wants to save money. If your duties did not change, you were still an employee that the employer had to pay payroll taxes on. Go directly to an experienced accountant for help. Don’t let your former employer get away with this s**t!!!

I think the big question is if your job responsibilities changed enough to change you from a W-2 employee to a contractor (who would get 1099). If your job responsibilities didn’t change for that last 3 months, then I would consider challenging the 1099. This is something a tax attorney who does controversy work would probably be familiar with, or possibility a tax accountant. The IRS does have a mechanism for this challenge – Form SS-8.

If no taxes were withheld during the 1099 period, then you would still need to pay your portion of taxes, which would have normally been withheld as deductions, but I don’t think you are then responsible for the employer portion of the payroll taxes. I’ll include a link to follow from the IRS website that might be helpful.

Thanks for the responses everyone. I pay my own health insurance, but contribute to my 401k through the company. This was a completely unexpected turn of events. Trying to put on my big girl pants and deal with it. Just sucks to be unemployed and be in this situation.

I tried on a lot of things at J Crew this weekend and was frustrated by the wide variation in sizing. I fit into a 4 in the Minnie pant but a 2 was swimming in the pencil skirt in the same fabric. The size 27 matchstick jeans fit well in dark denim but not in the white. Then some size 4 Minnie pants in the same color were loose while others fit. I love the look of the clothes but the sizing should not be so crazy!

It’s how they cut the clothes. They cut many at once from top to bottom so the top is accurately sized but the bottom of the stack is off. I am always hesitant to buy online because of this, especially for the jeans. I had the same experience with the matchstick denim/matchstick white.

I used to work there. I had to get people size up and size down a lot and they would complain. The sizes are even more off in the warehouse stuff…

Has anyone ever been on a dog-sledding vacation? The responses to my vacation obsession yesterday prompted me to start researching fun vacation destinations, and this would blend my love of active vacations with my love of dogs.

Also, thanks for all the thoughts on Canadian vacations! I’ve added a rail trip across the country to my “dream vacations” list. That sounds SO FUN.

I visited a dog sledding farm in Alaska and went on a ride (in a golf cart, it was the summer). Sled dog puppies…so cute! I think a whole vacation could be fun. I will post a link to the place I visited in a reply. I felt like they treated the dogs really well, and one of the owners had an interesting career track (came up to Alaska to practice law, if I remember correctly). I am not sure if they offer multi-day trips, but you could incorporate them into an Alaska vacation.

Just research the companies and make sure they are reputable and humane. There is one in NH that takes huskies from shelters and gives them a “job for life” as a sled dog. They are a great organization. Then there are the bad companies that bought dogs to sell sled races during the Olympics and then killed them after when business dried up.

I’m trying to establish a new morning routine. I’m wondering what time others get up, get to work and what happens in between (workout, pack lunch, or just get ready). Every time I put everything I’d like to do down on paper, I think I must be crazy. TIA

Alarm at 7:30, hit snooze, shower if I didn’t the night before, drink tea and eat a light breakfast (oatmeal or yogurt usually), read paper, realize it’s 9am and I should be getting ready for work, get ready for work, stick the lunch I prepared last night in my bag, leave house around 9:30.

Oh, this makes me feel a lot better about my morning routine. I get up at 6:30, walk the dog, get coffee, feed the dog, go for a run, eat a leisurely breakfast that often involves cooking eggs, toss a load of laundry in the wash, pack my lunch, sit down at the computer for a few minutes (turns into half an hour), take a long shower, get ready for work, finally leave house at 9:30 (and today it was more like 10am). When I feel like I “don’t have any time” I try to remind myself of those 3 hours every morning.

I love my mornings:
– get up at 6:45 when kitty starts meowing for breakfast
– feed kitty
– play catch with kitty
– husband and i take turns making lattes for both of us with our espresso machine on alternating days
– pack lunches (usuallty some kind of leftovers plus fruit yogurt and other snacks)
– pick out outfit of the day
– sit down on the couch and chat while drinking lattes with some type of breakfast (sometimes toast, sometimes eggs, sometimes a couple of biscuit cookies)
– shower by 8:30
– get dressed
– give kitty treats
– leave by 9:00
– arrive at office at 9:15

Up at 5, work for a an hour or two, or work and then use the treadmill for an hour if I can; bathe, wake up kids at 7, out the door by 8:15 with lunches packed, breakfast eaten, etc. Usually if the kids are eating by 7:15 (the little one is an especially slow waker-up) I’m good. I pack lunches while they’re finishing breakfast and we all go to get dressed by 7:30/7:45 or so. I have a really minimal morning routine, beauty-wise and if I’ve set out clothes the night before I can go from bathrobe to work-ready in about 15 minutes.

Or, sleep in until six, drink coffee and catch up on email, and then kids, etc.

I wake up at 6:40 if I need to shower, shower, get the 2yo out of crib (“Mama! Mama!”) at 7 or so, get kids downstairs and feed them, try to pry eyes open with the 1 measly cup of coffee I’m allowed to drink per day, eat myself, (by now it is 745 or 755, nanny arrives), make lunch for myself and the 4yo, go upstairs and put on my clothes, get the kids’ clothes, tell the 4y0 to put on her clothes, yell at the 4yo to put on her clothes FOR THE NINTH TIME, pack stuff in bags, and hopefully get out the door to get the 4yo to school by 830 at the latest. Sigh.

I am always exhausted, but I keep telling myself it’s bc I’m pregnant. LOL, it won’t get any better after #3 arrives!

I’m impressed, personally, especially knowing that you managed to dress cute on top of all this.

Alarm goes off at 6:53. Hit snooze and get up at 7. No shower. Put the kettle on for tea and pack lunch/breakfast (usually a danactive and something from the prepared food section at the market). Wash face, brush teeth, take meds. Pour the tea. Make bed. Weigh myself. Change. Grab mug, bag and coat and head out the door by 7:20.

I dress the 7yo (my littler one.) If I wanted him to do it all on his own I’d be hanging out at noon every day with a kid still in pjs. I’m sure I’m crippling him for life by failing to make him independent, but honestly? I can pull out some clothes, help him out of his pjs, and supervise him as he puts on a shirt, undies, pants and socks in the space of 5 minutes.

He does put his pjs in the hamper, brush his teeth, pack his backpack, etc. but I am not gonna fight the getting dressed battle every day. He doesn’t really care what he wears, though, so a kid who does care would be more of a challenge.

Alarm at 6:45, pet dog, shower, tell dog I love her, put smoothie together before blending (to give the frozen fruit time to thaw while I continue getting ready), blow dry hair, say hello to dog, do makeup, straighten hair, ask dog what I should wear, get dressed, grab lunch out of the fridge (always leftovers that I put into individual containers the night before), pet dog, put coffee made by my husband in a to-go mug, feed dog, tell dog I love her, leave by 7:30 or a little after, at work a little before 8:00.

I wish I could have a quiet moment with my husband, but he’s always gone long before me.

I read in Real Simple, or something like it, to make the smoothie ahead of time the night before – put fruit/yogurt/etc in the blender, and then put in the fridge. I just add ice in the morning and blend. This seems like it wouldn’t make that big of a difference in terms of time, but it really does.

No outfit is complete without dog hair :D
I bought a cream colored coat for Christmas 2010, came home, my husband told me that we wanted to adopt a dog, I turned around and exchanged to coat with something black and white tweed-ish looking.
Totally worth it.

4:45 — Alarm goes off, hit snooze once
4:54 — Feed dogs and let them out to potty (we have a fenced-in back yard); scramble around trying to find workout clothes and put them on
5:15 — Leave the house to go to the gym or the local trail to run with a friend (run/workout starts at 5:30)
6:30 — Drive home, shower, brush teeth, hair, make up, clothes (usually involves sorting through laundry mountain to find undergarments and socks), play tug with dogs
7:45 — Grab breakfast at bakery
8:00 — Arrive at work

On mornings that I don’t work out, I start my shower, etc., at 7:00 or a little after and don’t get to work until 8:30 or 8:45.

Alarm goes off at 6:30. Put on enough clothes to be warm for dog-walking. Walk dog for 20-30 minutes. Start boiling water for French press, feed dog, make coffee and breakfast (usually oatmeal or whole-wheat toast), pack lunch while eating. Wash face. Get dressed. Do hair (which means braid, low ponytail, bun, or down; I’m very low-maintenance) and makeup. Out the door by 7:50, at work by 7:55.

My biggest time-savers are working out and showering at night. If I have to, for whatever reason, do that stuff in the morning, I will adjust my alarm accordingly. Fortunately, that doesn’t happen too often.

Mornings –
– Up at 7:15, tea for me and coffee for husband
– Husband and I take dog for a 30 to 45 minute walk (I used to get up at 6:15 and run before walking dog, but alas, no more running since I got pregnant.)
– Leisurely get ready from 8 to 9, watch the news/read paper while getting ready and discussing life with husband (we accomplish most of our important conversations in the morning b/c we both work late and usually just have time for a quick dinner together and then bed in the evenings)
– Leave for work, drop husband at metro and arrive at office at 9:15

I cherish this time every, single day. I am 4.5 months pregnant, and know that this blissful, slow morning routine is about to get rocked.

I love my morning routine, too (oh, and I also love making lists). Here’s my Monday/Wednesday/Friday:
-alarm at 5:30
-put on running gear
-head downstairs to drink coffee/read magazines
-head back upstairs to kiss the semi-sleeping husband and tell him I’m off for my run
-out the door at 6:15
-back at 7:15
-more magazine reading or internet exploring for ten minutes to cool down before showering and dressing
-pack lunch then breakfast at 8
-out the door again at 8:30
-at work just before 9

How do you all shower at night? I am so jealous! (Also can’t believe so many of you have such short commutes!)

Maybe I am just not blessed in the hair department, but if I did that there is no way I would be able to get my hair to look presentable without spending as much if not more time “fixing” it in the morning. What kind of hair do you all have and what do you do to it at night? I have fine (but lots of it) blonde hair and it gets “dents” in it that don’t come out except with a flat iron when I sleep and it happens even if I put my hair in a ponytail to sleep.

I think I have your hair. I guess it looks passable if I don’t wash in the morning (although I can only skip one morning) if I comb it out, then comb the top layer straight back and secure it in a claw clip while I eat breakfast – I am sorting of using my head as a giant roller to smooth out the weird bumps and bends. My hair is essentially one length with a bit of layering at the bottom, about shoulder-length.

I have found that I can get my hair to mostly dry pretty quickly (say 5 minutes), do the head-as-giant-roller thing while I eat, and then it just needs a couple of quick passes with the straightening iron to smooth out any dents from the clip. I accepted a while ago that I do not have wash ‘n wear hair, or even don’t-wash ‘n wear hair. Plus when I skip a shampoo (or at least rinse well and use conditioner) I feel like my face feels greasier and I also imagine I can smell my hair.

Yes, I think we are hair twins, with the exception that my hair holds water like a sponge so I twist it up it a microfiber turban while I pick out clothes, etc. and blow dry it after that and it still takes 10 minuts with a powerful blowdryer going full speed.

My hair is really too greasy to not wash it every day. But, your method for smothing out the bumps and bends after sleeping sounds promising so I will try it. I often wear my hair sort of like that during the day (half up and half down). I hope it works!

I have this exact hair type. I wash my hair every other morning, and I wear my hair straight when it’s clean and then curl it with an iron when it’s “dirty” (the non-hair washing day). The curling covers up the weird bumpy creased bits quite nicely, and once you get the hang of it, you’re done with your hair in 10 minutes.

Littlest – I have blond hair like yours, but I do the night thing by washing it at night & pile it on top of my head wet in an elastic. In the AM, I “water down” my bangs/top of my head & blow it out — goes a lot faster as it gets about 70% dry overnight & the “water down” puts enough moisture back to not get weird creases. Hope that helps!

So far no issues there, but i do replace my pillows every year or so. I agree it’s worth the price pf AM time if you have a peoblem. I also tend to shower and watch tv so it’s not soaking wet when i hit the pillow.

I’ll preface this by saying that I work out in the evening (can’t stand morning workouts) and I take all of my food for lunches on Mondays. If I’m going to the gym after work, I pack that bag the night before and leave it downstairs ready to go.

Up at 5:45
Turn on Mike & Mike, fire up the laptop, look briefly at email
5:55 shave and shower
Hair and makeup
by 6:30 – make coffee, read the paper, eat breakfast (always cereal)
by 7:00 – brush teeth, get dressed, pet the kitty on her little head (she is always especially adorable right when I’m leaving the house)
7:10 or 7:15 – grab purse or other bags and head to work
7:30 – in my office. I’m close so it takes me about as much time to walk all the way from the parking garage to my office at the back of the building as it does to get to work.

No kids and no desire to work out in the morning, but this is my normal schedule:

5:50 alarm goes off, hit snooze once
5:57 get in the shower
6:20 – 6:30 (depends if I’m washing my hair and shaving that day) get back in bed
6:30 alarm goes off for BF to wake up
6:30 – 6:51 try to get BF up and in the shower (he isn’t a morning person at all)
7:00 – 7:20 get dressed (I don’t plan outfits in advance)
7:20 – 7:30 make coffee & pack lunch–this usually consists of slicing an apple and a single serving of crackers and grabbing the leftovers I packed after dinner
7:30 – 7:35 eat breakfast
7:35 – 7:40 brush my teeth and do my hair (which usually consists of a braid or pulled back with a clip)
I leave for work around 7:40, and unless traffic is terrible I’m in the office by 8am.

Can I just say I’m jealous of all of you who don’t have to be to work until 9am?
– Alarm at 5:15, snooze to 5:30
– Shower, get dressed (picked out clothes the night before), while boyfriend makes our lunches
– Quick breakfast with the boyfriend (love this few minutes – always makes my day)
– Out the door at 6:30am
– At work by 7am
Unless I have to be at work by 6:30, which is about half the week. Then move everything up about 30 minutes and I eat breakfast in the car.

Alarm goes off at 6:15, but I snooze until 6:30 or 6:40. Finally get up, brush teeth, put in contacts, put on sweat pants and sports bra, guzzle a liter of water, grab work bag (packed the night before) and work clothes (set out the night before), and out the door in 10 minutes. Walk to gym (20 minutes). 7:05-8:00 work out. 8:00- head into the locker room to shower. 8:25- out the door of the gym, walk across the street to the office, sitting at my desk by 8:40ish. 8:40-9:10- power up computer, eat breakfast, drink tea, read emails and corporette. :)

-Alarm at 5:15
-Lay in bed and contemplate the sorrow of getting out of bed until 5:30
-6:00 Crossfit class, or running
-7:00 (7:20ish if I went running) back to house and into shower, while hot rollers heat up
-7:15 out of shower, dressed, hair dried and rolled
-7:30 eat breakfast, unroll hair
-7:45 (or 8:00, if I ran) out of the house and at the bus stop, which is conveniently downstairs.

I don’t have to pack a lunch because I eat leftovers from the night before, so I just grab a pyrex and go. I read on the bus, which is perhaps my favorite time of the day – I can concentrate really well, so that’s when I read denser, less “fun” books. Unless I know there’s something in the offing, I don’t check my blackberry before work.

What do you think of Crossfit? I was very fit about 7-8 years ago, but had a leg injury and never really got back on the wagon. I was thinking of joining crossfit because I heard such good things about the team spirit . . . and that it really kicks your butt into gear!

Mine varies a bit – I can stay in bed longer if it’s a non-hair-washing day, and if I go to the gym (rarely, recently), I have to get up earlier.

But usually:

-alarm goes off 7.15-7.30, 7 if I have to wash my hair
– repeated snoozing, get up about 2-3 snoozes in (say, 7.30-7.45)
– shower/make-up/hair/get dressed takes 40 mins or so
-leave home about 8.45 give or take a bit
-walk to work 35 minutes-ish
-arrive at work 9.15-9.30

7:00 – alarm goes off; spend a few minutes checking email
7:05 – shower (I shower right away because the moment the water hits my face is when I start waking up)
7:15 – put in contacts; brush teeth
7:20 – do makeup; put hair in bun; get dressed (clothes picked out the night before)
7:30 – say goodbye to my boyfriend, who should be just getting up
7:35 – grab gym bag (packed the night before) grab lunch from fridge (usually a sandwich, made the night before); head out (I live in NYC and love walking to work)
8:00 – arrive at work

Wow you guys get up *early*! I’m still in law school, but it only varied a little bit during my summer associate-ship (I suppose I will have to work more as a real associate):

When I have 9AM class:
7:45 Alarm
7:55 Try to get out of bed
8:00 My boyfriend makes me breakfast that I mumble at him
8:10 Brush teeth/eat breakfast/get dressed (I always put out clothes, pack for school the night before)
Check email on phone/put on shoes/wash dishes/decide I hate outfit from night before and create a new one.
8:25/8:30 Get out door and onto subway.
Right now, I work out when class is over (yay being a student)!

When I don’t have 9AM class:
Wake-up naturally, which is usually around 9AM, sometimes 9:30.
Try to make breakfast by myself (usually doesn’t happen).
If I have work: most people don’t come into work before 10AM (my officemate used to come in at 11AM sometimes!), so I can walk there in about 15-20 minutes.
Or, go to class when it happens.
Usually I work-out when I come home, which during the summer was 6pm (yay summer associate-ship), so I might have to change this routine in the future.

6:45 (or so): husband peeks his head in and says — first warning that its time to wake up.
7:00: Husband comes in and actually makes me get up. I go downstairs sit on the couch and snuggle with the dog and either watch last nights Daily Show or snooze some more.
7:30: Feed dog, and jump in shower.
7:45: Get dressed, brush teeth, hair, gather things, whatever.
8:20: Head towards train. Stop at coffee shop near train station.
8:45: Get on train
9:15 Get to office.

Mine differs–half the time it’s something like “Alarm at 4:45, hit snooze a couple times, roll out of bed at 5, shower super quickly, toss clothes in a suitcase, mumble under my breath trying to remember the things I need, hop in car at 5:30, drive to airport to make a 7AM flight, fly where I’m going, get rental car, drive to site, start working around 930 or 10”

But other times it’s “Alarm goes off at 8, hit snooze several times, read emails and facebook and work emails lying in bed, roll downstairs at 8:50 to eat something, bring it upstairs to home office, start working at 9” (shower generally comes later in the day or the evening, those days!)

5am – Alarm, across the room
Walk dog, warm up car
5:10 – change into gym clothes, dread working out, commit to being fat forever and going back to bed, check for text that says I don’t have to go to gym
5:15 leave for gym
5:30 arrive at gym and workout
6:30 shower at gym or leave gym for home
7 – go to work
7:15- arrive at work, eat breakfast at desk
If I return home, 6:45 arrive home and shower
7 – Today show on, hair, makeup, dress (clothes laid out for entire week Sunday night) and wake up boyfriend
7:15 make and eat breakfast
7:30 wake up boyfriend again this time with threat of breakfast, lights, and turn on Today show in bedroom; throw in load of laundry, unload dishwasher, if applicable
7:45 take dog out again, hopefully to poop, feed dog, pet dog, give dog treat for pooping if applicable (vicious cycle)
8 walk out door (with boyfriend who is already ready) race commute against boyfriend to work using various routes
8:30 arrive at work

My routine is terrible, I don’t know how it takes me this long to get ready in the morning.

6:30 alarm goes off
6:50 actually get out of bed, get into shower
7:15 get out of shower, start making lunch and snacks
7:30 lunch made start making breakfast
7:45 blow dry hair and put on makeup
7:55 running late (as usual), go drag my boyfriend out of bed/end up back in bed
8:15 eat breakfast
8:35 get dressed
8:50 out the door
9:00 slink into work and hope no one notices how late I got there

I make up for my slow start at the end of the day by working until 8:00 or 9:00, eating a late dinner and watching some TV with the BF, going online or taking care of household chores, then getting to sleep by about 1:00 if I’m lucky (more like 2:00 last night!). Workouts are saved for the weekends.

-Alarm goes off at 6:30a, hit snooze til about 6:45a.
-Feed and play with kitty for a few minutes.
-Hop in the shower.
-Eat a light breakfast (hot chocolate, homemade muffin, and fruit) while checking email/facebook and watching the news.
-Brush teeth, wash face, and style/blowdry hair.
-Pick out outfit and get dressed (by this point in the morning, I have a good idea of what I want to wear).
-Do my make-up.
-Get my stuff together and pack my lunch, if I’m planning on taking one in.
-Play with kitty for a few more minutes.
-Out the door by about 8:30a.

My alarm is set for 515, 535, and 555 because it takes me a really long time to adjust to being awake in the morning. I’ll get out of bed at 610, brush my teeth, wash my face, get dressed, and put makeup on. By 645 I’m in the kitchen making lattes to bring with me and toast to eat before I leave. Then I’ll grab my lunch (put together the night before), purse, and laptop bage and will be in my car by 710 because it’s a 50 minute drive to work and I usually get in right at 8.

5:30 – 6:00: Alarm/snooze button
6:00-6:15: Get up, make coffee for me and tea for DH
6:15-6:45: Watch the news, read the internet, and drink coffee
6:45 – 7:45/8:00: P90X, Insanity, or go for a run
8:00: Make breakfast (usually protein shakes)
8:10: Shower and get dressed
8:30: Walk the dog
8:45: Leave for work
9:00: Arrive at work

Gym days:
6 am – alarm. Grab parts off cpap machine and cell phone and head into bathroom. Wash out cpap and hang to dry. Throw on sweatpants and jacket. Grab gym bag and work clothes (packed the night before). Throw smoothie ingredients and can of soup into bag. Take birth control, give cat a tiny snack before husband gets up.
6:15 – drive to gym.
6:25 – Use red light machine and then put on workout clothes.
6:45-7:30/7:45 – work out
7:45-8:15 – shower and get ready for work.
8:15-8:30 – drive to work
8:30 – 9:00 – make smoothie at work in the bullet blender I leave there. Chat with secretary. Check email.
9:00 – really work

Not gym days:
7:00 – alarm goes off. Feed cat and pull up insulin shot. Go back to sleep
7:30 – give cat insulin shot, go back to sleep
7:45 – walk dog
8:00 – realize I have no time to shower or clean cpap, throw on suit, put hair in pony tail, put on make up, toss breakfast and lunch in a bag.
8:15-8:30 drive to work.
8:30 on – repeat routine from above.

If I have to be in court at 9:00 (usually once a week) I shower the night before and skip Spanish class.

Like others have said, I am definitely not a “short sleeper.” I try to start getting ready for bed by 10:00 pm since I need *at least* 8 hours. But since I get home at 8:00 or 9:00 pm my evenings always feel so short. I sometimes end up watching Downton Abbey/Sherlock/etc with Mr. Nev until laaate and then feel miserable all day.

I want 1) to be fluent in Spanish so I can stop taking classes and 2) to have a shorter commute.

We’ve been trying to meet up the third Thursday of every month (would be tomorrow). Danielle suggested meeting up the fourth Thursday (2/23) of this month. The LinkedIn group is called BostonCorporette. I think you can just search for it and join (yikes — I am shockingly tech UNsavvy).

I’m wearing a black boat neck, three-quarter sleeved shirt I bought at Banana in college 8 years for my first “job interviews” that has held up amazingly well, “the skirt” in magenta, black textured tights, and grey pumps from Talbots. And my scarf from that Missoni line at Target as a wrap because it is extra cold in my office today.

I’ve got on a blue-gray J. Crew button-down that has a very fine stripe, under a light blue tunic-length cardigan of unknown provenance, topped off with a navy belt; skinny Anthro pants in navy; and gray-and-white fake snakeskin flats from Urban. Jewelry is pretty minimal–champagne diamond studs, an apatite ring (looks like aquamarine, but is cheaper), and a hairband-as-bracelet. Boring, but functional.

I bought that skirt in orange. I rather like it. I absolutely don’t think bright colors are “business barbie,” but I guess they better not be considering how much I wear them. I like the sound of your outfit (if weather permits, I might wear a similar version of your outfit tomorrow with a Talbots turquoise skirt I have). I am planning on wearing my orange skirt one day with a bright aqua silk blouse and some nude pumps. Not sure I really care if it gives everybody a headache at work… I enjoy being the brightest thing around. ;-)

Plaid shell from Ann Taylor (blues, grays, some black and white), three-quarter sleeve navy cardigan from the Gap, gray slacks from Banana and some black wedges/penny loafers. I never take off my diamond studs, my little Tiffany’s heart pendant necklace (not the bulky one with the toggle, just the little charm on a thin chain) and two simple rings.

BTW, about to meet the darling BF for some Italian! Totally going to pay for it at the gym after work tho’.

I’m wearing a pink tweed Cynthia Steffe skirt suit (impulse buy and this is probably the only day of the year I can get away with it) with tall black boots, opaque black tights and a black turtleneck with minimal jewelry. I feel like all of the black de-emphasizes the fact that I’m wearing a pink suit.

“The Skirt” in dark gray (“storm” I believe was the name of the color), black fleece-lined tights (which are awesome), aqua sweater, black blazer, aquamarine jewelry, and black boots. My work wardrobe is a bit boring.

Speaking of “The Skirt,” has anyone had luck washing them, or do I actually have to dry clean it?

Gray plaid Calvin Klein dress, kate spade Cami black patent heels, black (bracelet length) jacket, and pearls. No pink, but I am wearing garnet and pearl earrings, if that counts?! I had a meeting today, so I needed to look like a lawyer!

1) How many hours of sleep do you all get? (Esp. those of you who wake up at 4:45 or 5 a.m.)

2) Do you and your live-in love interest get up/go to bed at the same time?

Curious because I tend to get up much earlier than DH since I exercise in the mornings. I also need more sleep than him in general. He is kind of a night person and likes to stay up later than I do, and it annoys him when I nod off on the couch while he watches TV or when I go to bed at 11 and he comes home 15 minutes later (he is biglaw so hours can be crappy sometimes). I am wondering whether other people sleep and wake together, or whether they do one or the other, and if they are resentful as a result. (I certainly am; he won’t wake up early for me, but wants me to stay up late for him.)

I get 6-7 hours a night. Would love to get 8, but it rarely happens, esp. during the week.
DH generally gets up at the same time or slightly later, but goes to bed much later (1-2 hrs). He can survive on less sleep, I guess. It works fine for both of us. I fall asleep on the couch all the time. He refuses to tell me how the movie ends. But that’s the only friction :)

I think this is one of those things that couples learn to adapt to – either you compromise somehow, or learn to live with it and make up for lost time on weekends, etc.

SO & I usually go to bed and wake up slightly apart, but not by much. He tends to fall asleep before me, and tends to wake up after me on weekdays and before me on weekends. I don’t think it’s created any problems but the difference in time is relatively slight -30 min to an hour. My last relationship, my ex would sleep till about 3-4 on weekends, staying up till 5/6, while I would pass out at 2 and wake up around 11. That was definitely more of a problem because it would put my day on hold in a number of ways. I think it’s hard when you have different work schedules but perhaps you can make time for each other during other times of day. For example, I have a friend whose husband works in Big Law and on night he has to work late, he will meet her for dinner and then go back to the office. Obviously not ideal and not always possible, but it works for them.

I get up at 5am, and I usually go to bed around 9:30 or 10pm. My SO is usually in bed before I am, but reading, not sleeping. I get up at 5, take a shower and get her up. My alarm does wake her up, but she falls back to sleep while I am showering. One of us does sometimes stay up later than the other, usually because a book is too good to put down or work is too stressful, but no resentment so long as the late-stayer-upper is quiet.

My husband and I got to bed at different times. I love to sleep and he likes to stay up and play video games (am I married to a seven year old?). I read once that going to bed at the same time is good for your marriage, so I feel a little guilty about going to sleep early. But I need my rest and I don’t want to cut off his fun time. He would resent it if I forced him in to bed early, and I don’t want to sit around while he plays nintendo or whatever. I don’t think our marriage has suffered, but for some reason I am paranoid about it even though it was just some stupid article in a magazine. He wakes up a little later than me in the mornings, but we have enough time for a quick chat and kiss before I leave for work.

It doesn’t make sense to me that he gets annoyed by this. My boyfriend loves is when I drift off on the couch with him, he says I look cute and he feels like I really trust him. (I dunno, this is what he says!) He does tend to wake up before me on the weekends, but he’ll just lay there and cuddle with me until I wake up, usually within 30-60 minutes later.

I think it’s just a compromise, as others have said “hey, I’m tired, I’m going to bed, feel free to try to wake me up when you come in.” (I say try because my bf has for nocturnal activities and usually gets an elbow to the face for his trouble, I’m a heavy but active sleeper!)

My husband goes to bed MUCH later than I do. I am in bed by 10 at the absolute latest, and he will regularly stay up until 3 or 4 am (he works at home so he doesn’t need to get out of the house in the mornings). He doesn’t get up until 10 or 11 am.

He would never dare bug me about not staying up late, especially since I wake up with our kids EVERY SINGLE DAY and he never has to do the morning routine with them.

Ha! Are you me? This is exactly my schedule. And my husband does the same as yours. The only problem is, I’m really a night person, like my husband, so the morning routine with the kids is slowly killing my will to live.

I usually get 7-8, and I’m one of those people who really needs that 8.

The bedtime/awake time routine has really changed for my husband and me over the years, particularly after law school. Nowadays, I’m up before he is on days that I exercise, and we get up around the same time on days that I don’t. Nine nights out of ten, though, I’m in bed before him. (I’m militant about my sleep.) That’s a fairly recent development, and I used to be a little bitter about it (“don’t you WANT to come to bed with me??”). He never insisted that I stay awake with him, but he did like to hassle me a bit about the fact that we could never start watching a movie at home past 7:30 in the evening without me falling asleep. Anyway, I’m better about accepting the fact that he doesn’t want to pretend to be sleepy at 10 (especially on the weekend), and he knows it’s no fun to try to force me to stay awake past my bedtime.

Also, it’s suddenly embarassing me to notice that I’m in my twenties and believe a perfect night ends with me in bed by 10. Oy.

SO and I average about 4 hours of sleeping at the same time as each other. He’s a major night owl, going to sleep around 3, while I’m in bed by 11:30 and up by 7. We’re students right now though; I’m sure that will change when we’re in the working world!

Although we dated for four years before moving in together and felt like we knew each other well, my BF and I were amazed at how different our sleeping schedules can be. I need 7-8 hours of sleep, and he’s fine with 5-6.

I’m usually in bed between 10 and 10:30, but he goes to bed between 11:30 and midnight. I wake up at 5:50, he wakes up between 6:30 and 7. It used to bother me that he didn’t want to go to bed together and there is no way I can stay up that late, but now we spend the half hour in the morning it takes him to wake up (not a morning person) for cuddle and talking time.

I try to be in bed by 10 or 11; BF stays up until about 12:30 or 1 to let the dogs out for the last outing of the night. Then I am up with the dogs at 6, and frequently wind up back in bed when I see him slumbering so peacefully…

I get 7-8, but really need 8. My husband is not only not annoyed by that, but he actually is a better gate keeper of my sleep than I am…he’ll nudge me to go to bed. I think it’s because over the years he’s learned that not enough sleep = very cranky ML, ha! He tends to go to sleep an hour or two later than I do (I try to be in bed by 10), and he works from home and gets to sleep in until 8:00 or 8:30. It works out just fine. To be honest, (this is embarrassing) the end to my perfect night is me in bed, alone, with a good book, taking up all the room I want.

1) I get 8.5 hours a night, and it is glorious. I’m one of those people needs her 8 hours or it is not pretty the next day. Obviously, I have no children.

2) My boyfriend and I go to bed at the same time each night, as that’s the only time we really have together on a daily basis (he leaves for work as I’m waking up). We’re normally in bed around 9:30 and either talk or watch one of our shows till about 10-10:30.

Ideally I’d get 9 hours, which is what I got in my single days. My husband’s a night owl who needs less sleep in general, so we’ve kind of met in the middle. We’re typically up together until 10:30 pm, get ready for bed, then I go to sleep while he reads in bed. We wake at the same time. I always think I’ll be a big girl and go to bed at 10 pm when I’m tired, but hardly ever do because I enjoy the time with him and can’t usually fall asleep until he’s in bed anyway.

i try to get as close to 8 hours as possible, as i find it makes a huge difference in my capacity the next day. plus, sleeping rules. for me that means trying to be in bed as close to 10pm as possible, though it’s usually more like 10:30 or so. up at 6:15. i work out and shower at night.

my husband is definitely more of a night owl than i am and doesn’t make it a priority to get a bunch of sleep regularly. if he’s not traveling for work, he usually comes to bed around 11ish but stays up reading, internetting, or whatever, and wakes up about an hour later than i do. he also sleeps significantly later on the weekends than i do, by at least 2 hours or more. neither of us is bitter about this at all – i particularly like my quiet time on weekend mornings.

I get 7-8 hours a night. My boyfriend puts me to bed says good night. Then I get him up.

It annoys my boyfriend too if I fall asleep on the couch while he stays up. He is pretty good at saying “hey you are falling asleep, want me to put you to bed?” I rarely object. Usually around 9 p.m. If I go to bed before that it’s by my own doing.

Before this I would try to stay up with him because he would carry on and say “you are going to be already?” but I had a talk with him once (at 5 am) that it isn’t fair to make me stay up until 11 because he gets to sleep. Now, we enjoy our quiet time I think… We do not like all the same activities/tv anyway so it’s nice to catch up on that too when the other is sleeping.

I shoot for 8, and I am generally in bed between 9-10. Husband comes to bed after midnight–sometimes as late as 3 or 4. I am up at 5 or 6, and he gets up by 6:30 or 7 on weekdays and around 8 on weekends when our 4 year olds pounce on him. This has caused absolutely no issues in our marriage. I’m a morning person. He’s a nightowl. He gets a ton done at night and doesn’t have to take away from family time. I make things run smoothly and get him up in the mornings. After 13 years of marriage, I think I can safely say that we are doing fine despite our disparate sleep routines! :)

2) We’re still working on figuring this out. Mr. Nev doesn’t have to get up as early as I do, although as a courtesy he gets up to make coffee/eat breakfast with me. I wish he had to get up earlier because that would help me get up earlier too instead of staying in bed and snuggling with him.

We go to bed together around 10:00pm. We’ll watch TV together in bed, talk, or have the s * x. Then I go to sleep and he stays up reading on his iPad – he needs probably an hour less sleep than I do.

I get 7-8 a night and we definitely do not go to bed at the same time. I usually go at 10:30 and I have no idea when he comes to bed. I get up at 6:30 and wake him up at 7:15. He’s self-employed and naps during the day, which makes me very resentful even though I know he works hard.

We go to sleep together between 11 and midnight (er, now ish). He wakes up naturally around 5 am and does a couple of hours of work. I wake up with my alarm at 7:30. We usually have a cup of coffee together and then he leaves and I get ready.

I recently gave notice that I will be leaving my firm. My exit interview is later today, and I have no idea what to expect. For those of you that have done one – what was it like / do you have any recommendations?

This depends a lot on your firm and why you are leaving, but in my experience it is usually less about you and more about ‘ what could we be doing better’. I wouldn’t worry about it, you are leaving so what are they gonna do if you say something negative. But that is with the caveat that you shouldn’t burn your bridges so if there is something you genuinely think is a problem at the firm, mention it, but try and make it sound constructive.

When I left my Biglaw job (didn’t go to another firm–if that matters), my exit interview was basically: hand over all your stuff (blackberry, firm laptop, firm credit card, etc.), expect COBRA information from HR, and have a nice life.

I haven’t heard anyone having a bad experience with their exit interviews (including people who left other firms). So don’t get neverous about it.

Thanks! I’m actually not going to another firm either – or another job for that matter. But – I’m also not leaving because I didn’t like the job – I did! I like the firm, the people I worked with, the pay…. but yep…. you guess it…. a baby Anon-a-mouse changes everything. At least for a little while.

I think the standard advice is to stay positive and tell them how much you loved working there. No negatives. I realize this feels like doing everyone remaining a disservice if there really are big issues that need addressing at the firm, but you may need these people again someday, and it’s better not to burn bridges.

A HUGE thank you to everyone who commented and helped me out yesterday. I was in a terrible funk and in that mode of “it’s never gonna happen and I’m going to be fat and dumpy and weak and sluggish and tired and horrible UNTIL I DIE!!!” Today is much better and I have started with Spark People, I had a healthy breakfast this morning and packed a (pre-made, but still!) salad for lunch, I picked up some healthy groceries on my way home last night, and I have a plan in place at least till the end of the week. Then I’ll use my 3 day weekend to plan for next week!

So a huge thank you, I really appreciate it and I don’t know how long it would have taken me to kick my a$$ out of that funk without you guys. Thanks!!

I bet you can find this image if you google it, but I have a .jpg with a quote:

A year from now you’ll wish you’d started today.

It’s attributed to Karen Lamb (whoever that is) and at the bottom right it says ” Making things happen.” I have no idea where it came from, but I find it inspirational/motivational for a lot of things.

general career question: i’m a 3rd year commercial litigation associate in biglaw. my dream job would be to go inhouse for a company in a particular creative field several years down the road. i’ve been to a ton of career panels where they suggest that the way in would be: 1. being a damn good lawyer 2. trying to find work that relates to that industry.
our IP group does do some work for that creative industry, but not much that i can get exposed to. that said, i know the IP folks well and have done some professional writing and business development related to the industry with them. i’ve also made my interest in the industry very very clear to them and they seem to love me. i don’t think they have real “work” for me to do for them, but if they did i have a feeling i would at least be considered for it.
of course, our commercial lit group has NO exposure to that creative industry and we do typical financial, insurance, business litigation. i like my job and am developing some great legal skills. any ideas on what ELSE i can be doing to make sure that when the time comes to make the leap that i will be qualified and competitive? is minor business development and professional writing related to the industry enough to keep my foot in the door? any other ideas?
by way of background, i also did an internship as a law student with the general counsel of exactly the type of place i’d like to end up but he was a one-man shop, i loved the work, but we didn’t mesh too well and he’s simply kind of a jerk.

All – Thanks for the advice last week on what to expect from a second-round interview at a super small firm. I had it yesterday and it felt very smooth so I’m hoping for good news! And I wouldn’t mind a few extra crossed fingers for me …

So are dresses with leggings a good look for the over-50 crowd? Is that even still in style? I bought a cute casual black and white Karen Kane jersey dress, just above knee length, on sale over the weekend. It’s lightweight material, and 3/4 length sleeves, so I thought it would look good in the spring with capri length leggings and ballet flats. I’ve never actually worn a dress with leggings, but it seemed like a good idea in the store dressing room. I hate my legs (spider veins), and would never wear a short dress without something on my legs. Any opinions?

I’m 51 and started to do this look in the last year as I have similar leg issues. It felt pretty adventurous to me (probably says too much about me I guess) and I stick to pretty dark leggings (black, dark gray) over more casual dresses. My fashionista 25 year old daughter assures me I’m completely appropriate ;)

Lol, I knew what you meant. I feel better about wearing the style, it feels so much more comfortable then casual pants or jeans, which is what I usually wear on weekends. I may have to pick up a couple more dresses.

I don’t personally love the look, but I understand the practical side of it. I tend to wear above-knee bike shorts under my spring/summer dresses and skirts, spider veins be damned (I’m 47 by the way.) I find that a little self tanner helps with the appearance of spider veins. I really only have one cluster, right at the back of one knee, so I understand that if you have lots and lots, you might be more self-conscious than I am about them.

I do use some tanner during the summer on my legs but there are limits to what it covers and how good it actually looks – an issue when you have what an old friend lovingly referred to our similar skin tone of “scandinavian fish belly white.” In the early 90’s we joked about developing a “nude” hose in that shade and we’d make a fortune…:) But I digress…..

The casual dress/leggings/flats combo just feels more hip and fashionable than most of my other casual clothes. Trying to dress tastefully/comfortably/fashionably without looking like a suburban soccer mom- what exactly is in between Forever 21/H&M/BR and Coldwater Creek/Chico’s anyway? Sigh…..

Well the one good thing about either wearing leggings or bike shorts with dresses is that you don’t have to worry about a sudden breeze! :) And I definitely hear you on the stores. I am at a loss as well.

PSA:
I’ve been obsessively checking, and yesterday evening my obsessiveness was rewarded. The “Smoke” color of The Skirt (Nordstrom Halogen seamed pencil skirt) is now on sale for $39.90.
One is winging its way to me now.

The “Green Grove” and “Red Clay” colors are also on sale with limited sizes left . . . .

OMG OMG OMG OMG, Its now coming to me as well. I actually ran to the bathroom so I could check the size on the magenta version I’m wearing right now so I’d make sure to order the right size….I’m SO EXCITED. I’m like Jessie in Saved by the Bell on caffeine pills…but without the scared pills.

Does anyone have experience with electing COBRA? I’m leaving my job in three months and am planning to elect COBRA in the four-month gap in which I have our first before starting a new job with a different company. I’m wondering about the timeline issue: since I’ll (hopefully still) be pregnant when we leave, but only about a month from due date, it’s not unrealistic that I could go into labor within a week of leaving this job. When I google COBRA it seems like there are lots of horror stories about how long it takes to get the paperwork filled out and getting reimbursement and I’m just wondering if (not related to pregnancy at all) anyone else has elected continuing coverage through COBRA after leaving a position and how long the process took, any snags, etc.

I’ve been on COBRA before when I left jobs. It’s fine as long as your HR is organized. I recall there being much paperwork–you just elect what coverage you want (you, dependents, health, vision, dental, etc.)

All you have to do is make sure your check gets there on time (there’s usually a COBRA administrator that acts as a go-between). Plus, there’s a retroactive grace period, so even if you don’t elect immediately, you can do after. From a billing perspective, everything continues the same. I don’t think you have much to worry about–even your insurance card stays the same and whatnot. Things change behind the scenes moreso than anything.

I went on COBRA immediately after having my first child, so the delivery/hospital stay was under my employee plan but all follow-up and well-baby visits were on COBRA.

I definitely did not have a horrific experience. There was a bureaucratic lag in the appearance of coverage for about a month. In that time, I had to set-up self-pay with the clinics since they couldn’t “see” my coverage. However, there was no actual lack of coverage, and I submitted everything to the COBRA insurance company and it was paid as anticipated and promptly. So there was an extra hassle/step for that month, but no stress or financial repercussions. After that point, everything with COBRA worked very smoothly. If we hadn’t needed so many appointments during that time, we never would have even noticed.

Our COBRA was handled by ODS, for reference. I was very pleased with their communication and customer service. The managing insurance company will vary from region to region. I had the same plan and coverage as my employee plan, but administrated by a different company.

If it’s your first baby, you’ll probably deliver the week after your due date and won’t have to deal with it at all. GL!

Oh, and a little tip: If you are able to pay your portion of the hospital bill (regardless of your insurance status) in full, call the hospital accounts payable department directly and request a discount. Most will provide a discount to anyone who pays in full. We saved 10%.

I was on COBRA for several months last year after losing my job. I would describe my experience as fair – not great, but not horrendous either.
The one thing that I wish the benefits administrator had made more clear was that (at least in my case – not sure if this is standard across the board) you have to pre-pay. For example, payment must be received no later than September 31 if you want benefits in October.
There was a whole brouhaha for me because my company switched benefits administrators for 2012 – I was getting paperwork from 2 companies, both requesting the hefty monthly payment. It took about six weeks to get it all straightened out, but I think this is a pretty unusual situation.

(This is MeliaraofTlanth; I’m trying out a new username. Props to anyone who gets it)

My firm only has blackberries for the partners. I don’t think we’re required or expected to have a smart phone. I have one and the only time it’s somewhat useful is occasionally if I’m in court and need to look something up or have someone email me something (though it actually can’t open pdfs emailed from our work server, i assume for security reasons). But it’s definitely doesn’t seem to be expected (i’ve only been here 7 months or so). If there’s something I’ve got to do on the weekends or outside of normal business hours, I know it before I leave for the night/weekend.

My firm’s unbelievably bad with technology, though, so this is not surprising. (obviously, I’m not in BigLaw)

My firm provides a phone with a data plan if you want. You’re expected to be reasonably available via email, so this makes sense. You have to pay voice or text if you want it on that phone. I chose not to take the firm phone and just use my own smart phone. The tech people here set it up so that I get my work email on it. Email doesn’t take much data, and it was going to cost the same to buy voice and text on the firm phone than it did just to stick with my current provider.

No, the firm doesn’t provide cell phones or pay for any part of them for associates. There is no official policy saying that we have to have them, but honestly I feel like we have to have them. That’s just my feeling though–nothing official, and I’m sure nothing bad would happen if I didn’t.

My employer only provides phones (or a phone subsidy) to certain very high-ranking people, but it’s pretty much mandatory to be accessible at all hours unless you’re a secretary or very junior. Ticks me off.

My firm doesn’t provide phones, but it does subsidize our monthly phone bills up to a certain amount. Associates at my office aren’t required to have smart phones, but most of us travel and being able to check and send emails from the road is pretty essential.

I work in house. They don’t provide phones and we are not expected to be available at all hours. In fact, at my level they won’t let us install the email program on our smartphones even if we want to. My boss will occasionally call nights or weekends if something is urgent and I’ll usually check mail on Sunday night, but for the most part we are only expected to be available when we’re actually working.

My employer provides electronic tethers – er – I mean blackberries to nearly everyone on staff (mid sized consulting firm). I don’t like the idea of having the lines between “work” and “play” blurred, and am frankly creeped out/paranoid that someone in IT may be reading my personal texts, so I have a person iPhone as well. I believe the company pays for a basic data plan and text/voice allowance.

Don’t whisper, my virtual friend. Isn’t one of the things that holds women back is our reluctance to self promote in appropriate situtations? Julie asked! I’ve not bought anything from you (yet), but I have seen numerous regular posters discussing how happy they are with your work. Good for you.

Okay, I never knew that people could link their names to a site, doh! I’ll check it out — thanks so much. (And SF Bay assoc. is right — there’s nothing wrong with a little self-promotion, and certainy not when you’re asked. I did keep hearing about how wonderful your work is and wanted to check it out, and now I can. (Too late to ask for a Valentine gift — but, hey, my wedding anniversary won’t be too far away.)