this is a really bad game, because for some reason i get a kick out of making things that are bad. you can't win. it's an exercise in futility. i really can't recommend it to anyone.

so why the hell am i uploading it here? because it's the first actual game i've ever made. before yesterday, i'd never coded before, because programming was always too terrifying for me to even consider. but the pico-8 really called out to me, it's so cute and compact and it's a really nice and comfortable workspace and i love the cartridges and all the games and everything. so i pushed myself to try to learn, and i made this stupid pong game all by myself.

i can't even express in words the pure joy i, a disabled college dropout who failed algebra 3 times, experienced when i thought up a way to make the ball bounce off the paddle at an angle and it worked on the first try. honestly, it's magical. so i'm putting my unbelievably stupid pride and joy up here, just to cement the accomplishment. i think i can really do something with this! i've always wanted something to be proud of, so it's huge for me.

i hope i can keep pushing myself to learn more, and make more (amusingly) stupid and terrible games in the future. i'm really proud to be here among everybody.

just for reading all this crap, here's some secrets:

press Z on the title screen to launch 2 player mode

hold Z during the game to make it into an even more pointless nihilistic purgatory, and then lose points anyway

press X during the game to reset the ball and lose a point. is there any use to that? it's a mystery...

UPDATE: right after posting i think i figured out a hacky way to stop the ball getting stuck in the ceiling/floor, which was the game's most prevalent bug. yippee

This game is a lot of fun. I've been trying to work up the courage to do a tour through video game history, starting with pong, but as you see in thelongwalk, I had to limit scope even further just to get something done. Please keep making awful things, and let me know if you ever want to collaborate.

@raysofnope i would love to collaborate! in fact, i'm currently working on a zine called CYBERSPACE IS DEAD, which is part of what i'm making games for. if you're interested, you could totally hop on board. i'm way into the avant garde, the expressive and the purposefully garbagey, which is why my favorite band is The Residents. get at me!