TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last

Good evening everyone! I've started a lot of contests lately with apologies. This time, I begin with an apology and sincere gratitude. In the last couple of weeks, I hit a very low point that I never thought I would see. The result of which was, that my sense of humor was not anywhere near alive enough to judge a contest. The reason I wanted to express gratitude is that, thanks to the humor and creativity of all the people who post here, I was able to smile and laugh in some very dark moments. Thank you very much everyone.

And now without further ado....

First up to the plate, we have the "Maybe these two DO need a Counselor" Award, going to:

Wesley: [scoffs] Who do you think you are? Superman?Riker: You'd better take that back, Wesley!Wesley: What's he going to-- [chokes, then starts gargling and gasping]Picard: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Troi: Captain, is it really necessary for Will to have a chair? I mean, mist of the time he's up with his leg on the consoles anyway
Picard: Hmm...

Beverly: What happened?
Riker: I caught him trying to remove my chair
Beverly: Oh. Fair enough then
...
Beverly: What do you want to do now?
Riker: Steal the captain's chair?
Beverly: I'll get the spanner

Beverly: You know, Worf, it will never work out with you and Deanna. You'll end up hooking up with... A girl with, like, a worm in her or something...
Geordi: Don't worry about it, Worf, she's just drunk as usual
Worf: With a...? Hmmm....

Troi: "Captain, I can't help picking up your thoughts. I don't mind your mental images of you and Vash together. I don't even mind your mental images of you and me together. I do mind your mental images of me and Vash together!"

Ogawa: "Oh, here's the problem! The dosage was supposed to be 100 micrograms! Not 100 milligrams! I always get those two confused! Silly me!"

Crusher: "The Captain and I were just renewing our old 'friendship.' By the way, get ready for a transfer. My son thinks it might be fun to drive the ship."

Data: "Wow. Check out the headlights on that Borg female."LaForge: "Heh! You know, on Earth that's just a smarmy euphemism!"

Blue skies smilin' at me
Nothin' but blue skies do I see
Blue birds singin' a song
Nothin' but blue skies from now on

I never saw the sun shinin' so bright,
never saw things goin' so right
Noticing the days hurrying by,
when you're in love, my how they fly by
Blue days, all of them gone
Nothin' but blue skies from now on

TROI: Wouldn't you like to be where my left hand is?
PICARD (terrified, thinking): They always end up like their mothers.

CRUSHER: Damn, I can't find his on/off switch.
OGAWA: Scanning for it now, Doctor.
RIKER: And you're absolutely sure you two are medically qualified?

TROI: My mother is beginning a physiological phase. It's one that all Betazoid women must deal with as they enter midlife.
RIKER: It's something Troi warned me about when we first started to see each other. A Betazoid woman, when she goes through this phase, quadruples her sex drive.
TROI: Or more.
RIKER: Or more? You never told me that.
TROI: I didn't want to frighten you.

(pace original Manhunt scriptwriter; I just can't improve on the original lines; it's one of the funniest exchanges in all of TNG!)

PICARD: Counselor, how did you not know the Romulan captain was lying?
TROI: It's Commander Riker sir. I have to close my mind when I'm around him or else I get really grossed out.

BEVERLY: Jean Luc said he'd had it for more than four hours, I should have listened!

Riker and Troi just found out their next mission is first contact with a planet where anybody found wearing clothes is executed on sight.

BEVERLY: I got your text last night Worf. Call me when you get off duty. (Wink)
Worf: (Thinking) That wasn't K'elyhr? Oh sh...

DATA: I'm getting a message from the past.
GEORDI: Put it on screen.
DATA: It says 'Destroy the Ferengi vessel before going back to the alpha quadrant. We beg you.'
GEORDI: Destroy them, why? Who is it from?
DATA: It says only 'From the fans of Star Trek: Voyager'.

Riker: How long do you think he'll be out for?
Crusher: There's no way to be sure. I'm not even sure yet what's happening to him.
Riker: Ok, well, I'll take the chance there will be enough time to rummage through his quarters for that horgon I've wanted back.

OK, if you had slept with Deanna, you'd have the same look on your face. It's that simple.

Crusher: That's right, Worf. I'm the one who said I'd find you 'tame.'