I just finished listening to some short clips from the audio book version of the Onion’s new atlas of planet earth, aptly titled Our Dumb World. After a short introduction, it begins: “Here are audio clips from some of the countries that matter – France: One nation above God.” It goes on to share important facts about France that you really ought to know. For example, that the leading cause of death is turtle neck asphyxiation. It doesn’t get any nicer. While rattling off the facts about Bolivia, the narrator stops to blow a line of cocaine.

In true Onion style, the book prides itself on offering up incorrect statistics on all of the Earth’s independent nations. (They’re just not sure how many there are.) And they guarantee that once you finish listening to the audio book or reading the hardcover, you will, of course, be the smartest person in your dorm room, carpool or cell block. This is anything but your average atlas.