Dwight Howard drama is Orlando's guilty pleasure

May 1, 2013|George Diaz, COMMENTARY

"So what's Dwight gonna do?"

Like a bad fungus, it's a question that won't go away. Orlando suffered through repeated outbreaks during the 2011-12 NBA season, when Dwight Howard's indecision turned the Amway Center into the Waffle House.

After much pain, we finally found a cure: It's a mix of Jacque Vaughn, Nik Vucevic, carving out salary-cap room and a great deal of patience. Every day, it feels a little better.

Mr. Howard is still in need of medical attention. Or perhaps psychological counseling. Or is it just a change of zip code?

"Dwightmare" -- that one-man show full of hijinks, shenanigans and occasional juvenile outbreaks -- is getting fantastic reviews during its West Coast run. Let's have a peek at what the critics were raving about before the show went dark last Sunday, the day Howard conveniently got himself thrown out of a playoff elimination game against the San Antonio Spurs.

"Howard's ejection Sunday was symbolic of a season that revealed a player who is simply not prepared to be the sort of leader that the NBA's greatest franchise requires," wrote Los Angeles Times columnist Bill Plaschke.

"Dwight, I've been swept before but I never let my team down by getting kicked out of the game," tweeted former Laker great Magic Johnson.

Stan Van Gundy, Otis Smith and, by extension, J.J. Redick and Ryan Anderson, all got caught up in Howard's egotistical tsunami. Howard is like a psycho ex-lover, extremely hot and appealing for a while, but eventually there's a meltdown, you end up throwing furniture at each other, and you break up in a blaze of animosity.

Howard found a new love, one reportedly better suited for a man of his talents. L.A. City of Angels. Give me some California Love, Mr. 2Pac.

The honeymoon didn't last long. It's been Dwightmare the Sequel, as Orlando's 7-foot headache now becomes the Lakers' gigantic migraine.

What to do with Howard?

Howard has the leverage to ditch the Lakers and sign with another team, but he won't get the fat max contract that will bring him an extra $30 million. The Lakers could just let him walk, losing the next logical face of the franchise after Kobe Bryant retires.

"I'll do what's going to be best for myself, what's going to make me happy," he said. "I can't control who likes me, who dislikes me, but I have the right to be happy."

Howard is wrong about controlling the love he feels in the room. He's got all the power, if only he would use it for his own good. His insecurities, inconsistent offensive game and inability to genuinely account for any mistakes makes him a "Buyer Beware" kind of guy. The Laker Nation is well aware of this, which is why 66 percent of respondents in a Los Angeles Times poll this week said the Lakers should ditch Howard.

Their problem. Why should we care?

Oh, come on. This is one of the few guilty pleasures we have left as the long, hot summer approaches. Even that occasional piece of sports eye candy, the Orlando Predators, appear to be in the throes of another bad year.

So while we wait for the lovely pingpong ball to bounce our way in the NBA Draft, rubbernecking another Dwight Howard implosion is the best entertainment value in this market.

Those who disapprove shouldn't think of Magic Fan as a jilted lover who needs to get a life.

Magic Fan has a life. It's certainly a tad boring, but it no longer includes the psycho-ex who needs constant pampering.