Date: Fri, 06 Aug 1999 12:36:17 EDT
From: D LS
Subject: Brian & Me Parts 10-13
Alright everyone, here we go again. This story is a complete work of
fiction, and is not meant to imply anything about anyone. While some of
the characters may be loosely based on real people that I know, none are
meant to actually represent anyone, particularly any of the members of the
Backstreet Boys. We may wish that they were gay, and maybe some of them
even are, but I'm certainly not about to say that they are. :) If any of
them happen to be reading this (hey, we can dream can't we?), feel free to
drop me a line and let me know what you think.
As usual, if you are offended or made uncomfortable by material concerning
sexual relations between consenting adult men, lighten up or go somewhere
else. Also, if it is in any way illegal for you to be reading this type of
thing, please don't. Or do, just don't get caught.
I've received a lot of very positive emails about the story. Everyone
seems to be enjoying it, and I'm really glad. I'm trying to make it as
realistic as possible, and input from readers is really helping. I realise
that there hasn't been any sex yet, but I assure you that it is coming. I
want to focus on beginning a relationship between Brian and Nate, rather
than simply having them jump into bed together. Again, the majority of the
letters I've received have been supportive about this decision. I thank
everyone for their input, and encourage you to let me know what you think
of the coming chapters.
I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to write, and special
thanks to JB for looking this over before I sent it in. What you are about
to read makes a little more sense because of him. :)
Again, this is my first time writing a story like this, and it's also my
first time letting other people read anything that I've written, so I
appreciate any and all comments (good and bad) that any of you may have.
If they're bad, please support your opinions so that I can improve.
Drop me a line at DLS_stories@hotmail.com
Enjoy!
PART X
Brian called after his photo shoot the following day.
"So how was it?" I asked.
"I smiled so much I think my lips might just fall off," he laughed.
"Listen, you wanna grab something to eat? The rest of the guys are tired,
and I have to get out of this hotel."
"Oh, sorry Brian, but Andrea and I are having dinner tonight, and then
going out to a movie. I'd ask you to come, but..."
"But you haven't seen her in months and you want to spend some time
with her. I understand. What about tomorrow?"
"What time tomorrow?" I asked. Andrea would be going back to the
office, so my schedule was pretty much open all day.
"All day," he said.
"Whoa. What are we going to do all day?"
"Tomorrow is the video shoot. I thought you might like to come along
and hang out at the studio."
"Sounds like fun," I replied. "What time is the shoot?"
"We have to be there at eight in the morning. It shouldn't last any
longer than five or six, as long as everything goes well. We can swing by
and pick you up on our way if you want."
"Sure. I assume you'll be bringing a limo? I was promised style when
I travelled with you," I laughed.
I could hear Brian laughing on the the other end of the phone. "Yeah,
we'll have the limo, don't worry."
"Alright then, I'll see you in the morning, right?"
"Yeah, shortly after seven probably. Think you can haul that sorry
ass of yours out of bed?" he joked.
"I think I can handle it," I said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay. Goodnight Nate."
"Goodnight Brian," I said as I hung up.
"Who was that?" Andrea asked, sticking her head in my doorway.
"Brian. He wanted to do something tonight. I told him I was going on
a date," I smiled up at her.
"Awwww." Andrea swooned dramatically in the doorway. "My hero!"
"Are you just about ready to go?" I asked her. "I'm starving."
"Hey, I'm not the one that takes an hour to get ready, mirror boy,"
she laughed, heading for her own room. "Just let me grab a quick shower."
"Okay," I said, getting up and heading for my closet.
An hour later, we were going out the door. We jumped in my rental
car, since there were just the two of us, and headed for the restaurant. I
had called ahead, so we were seated as soon as we arrived.
"So what are you going to do tomorrow, without me to keep you
company?" Andrea asked, motioning for the waiter.
"You really think you're that indepensible?" I laughed. "Actually,
Brian invited me to hang out at their video shoot for the day. They're
going to swing by and pick me up in the morning."
"He wants you, you know." She said. I had just taken a drink of
water, and she almost wound up wearing it. I swallowed quickly and started
coughing.
The waiter arrived and gave me an anxious look. "Are you okay sir?"
he asked looking back and forth from Andrea to me.
I nodded and motioned to Andrea to order. By the time she was
finished deciding on what she wanted, I was back to normal. I ordered
dinner and the waiter gave us a slight bow before leaving us alone again.
Andrea was grinning at me. "You alright?"
"You could have waited until I wasn't about to swallow," I said. "But
yes, I'm fine."
"Good," she said, taking a sip of her own water. "He does, though."
"Who does what?" I asked.
"Brian. He does like you."
"How would you know? You only spent a few hours with the guys
yesterday," I said, looking into my water glass.
"Yeah, but he spent most of that time looking at you."
My head shot up. "No he didn't."
"I'm telling you. Everytime he thought no one was looking, he was
staring right at you. And don't even bother trying to tell me that you
don't like him. I saw the way you comforted him when he saw that picture
in your room."
"What's not to like?" I answered honestly. "He's sweet, funny,
good-looking. The whole package."
"Yeah yeah yeah, enough about his package," Andrea laughed. Try as I
might, I couldn't keep a straight face. We laughed for a moment, and then
Andrea started in again.
"So..."
"So, if there's something there, we'll see. I'm not going to rush
into anything and ruin everything," I said. "He's only been out a few
months. Maybe he's not ready for anything serious. Besides, he's only in
L.A. for a couple more days. After that, he goes back on tour. Who knows
when I'd see him again."
"You wouldn't be the first people to have a long distance
relationship, you know. Lots of people manage to make it work," she
argued.
"But do they have the world watching? What would the newspapers and
tabloids say if they saw us together? Have you seen some of the internet
sites dedicated to the Backstreet Boys? There's already enough speculation
about them being gay. Being seen hanging out with a border-line famous gay
man is the last thing any of them need."
"Please, honey. You're hardly famous," she interjected.
"Thanks. You always know how to make be feel better," I said sourly.
The waiter returned with our dinners. We thanked him and started
eating. This only kept Andrea quiet for a moment.
"Seriously, though. If there is something between you and Brian, you
have to try. There's always going to be things that make it hard, but
you'll find a way around them if you really want to. So what if the
reporters spot you out somewhere? Since when is it a crime to hang out
with your friends?"
"I don't know, Andrea. There's a lot to take into consideration. I'm
not going to say anything unless Brian does. Ultimately, it's his decision
to make. I'm already out, so I have nothing to lose in a relationship. He
has everything," I said.
"That's true, I guess. But mark my words: he wants you."
"Well we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?" I said, taking
another bite of my dinner.
We ate the rest of our meal in relative silence, just enjoying being
in each other's company. I had forgotten how easy things were with Andrea.
Nothing seemed to phase her. She was like a rock when I needed her. She
glanced up and caught me smiling at her.
"What are you smiling about?" she said, wiping her mouth with her
napkin.
"Nothing. I was just thinking about how I lucked out in meeting you.
You're something else," I answered truthfully.
"You know, you can cut the sweet talk. You're still not getting any
tonight, ya big homo," she laughed.
The waiter had been walking past with a tray of glasses. Hearing
Andrea, he tripped, dropping the tray and shattering the glasses. Andrea
and I looked at each other and started to laugh.
I didn't pay much attention to the movie. I can't even honestly tell
you which one it was. Andrea seemed to really enjoy it, but I couldn't get
my mind off of our conversation over dinner.
'Does Brian really like me?' I asked myself. 'Maybe Andrea misread
Brian's looks. But what if she didn't? Could something work between us?
He's in the spotlight, though, and there's already enough rumours going
around about them, especially about him and Nick. Would he be able to
handle a relationship, with that much pressure to keep it hidden? Would
I?' Shortly before the movie ended, my own words at dinner came back to
me. "Ultimately, it's his decision," I'd said, and I realised that I had
been right. It had to be his decision.
The ride home was a quiet one. I still had a million thoughts going
through my mind, and Andrea seemed to sense this. I pulled into the
driveway and killed the engine. As we walked through the front door,
Andrea announced that she was going to take a bath and then go to bed.
"Goodnight sweetie," she said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"G'night, hun. I'll see you in the morning," I said, heading for my
room.
PART XI
Too early in the morning, as it turned out. My alarm went off at six,
scaring the hell out of me. The snooze button and I were old friends,
though, and I rolled over and pushed it.
"Oh no you don't," I heard a few minutes later. I determined to
ignore the voice, in the hope that it would go away. No deal. A few
seconds passed, and suddenly the side of my head was cold. And wet.
I jumped out of bed with a yell, in time to see Andrea pour the rest
of the water on my pillow with a grin. "Sorry, but I couldn't let you miss
your date with Brian."
"The rest of the group is going to be there, you know," I said
sarcastically, pulling the cover off of my pillow and hanging it over the
bedpost to dry.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I don't want you to be late for your date with the
Backstreet Boys," she laughed.
"Very funny," I mumbled, groping my way to the bathroom and closing
the door. 'What an ungodly hour," I thought to myself, looking at my
reflection in the mirror. I turned around and had just started the water
for my shower when Andrea knocked on the door.
"I'm naked," I called out with a grin.
"Oh boy!" she squealed and opened the door. Her face fell when she
saw that I was still clothed.
"What if I had really been naked?" I asked, putting my towel next to
the sink.
"Oh please. Like I haven't seen it before," she responded with a
grin.
"When?"
"Remember that party we had in university? The one where you got
really drunk and started hitting on that exchange student..."
"HEY! I thought we agreed never to talk about that party again," I
laughed. "I'm surprised I didn't kill myself with that stunt."
"Me too, but it really impressed that exchange student." By now she
was laughing so hard that there were tears running down her cheeks.
"Yeah yeah, what did you want, my dear?" I asked, putting my hand
under the water to make sure it was the right temperature.
"I just wanted to know what you wanted for breakfast," she said,
wiping her eyes.
"It's too damn early to eat. My stomache is still napping. They
should have something at the studio. I'll get something there. Now, if
there's nothing else, I would like to get my shower before the guys get
here."
"Nope, nothing else. But I'm sure Brian would help scrub your back,"
she said, starting to laugh again.
"Hey, none of that. Especially if he's around. I don't need you
embarrassing him. Besides, there's nothing going on with Brian. How many
times do I have to tell you that?" I said, pushing her back out the door.
"I know, I know, but a girl can dream can't she?" she asked, putting
her hands together at her chest and looking dreamily at the ceiling with a
smile.
"I don't know if I want to be in YOUR dreams," I laughed, closing the
door and locking it.
The shower woke me up enough to see what I was doing as I shaved and
brushed my teeth. Once I had my hair under control, I was ready to face
the world, or about as close to ready as I was going to get.
Andrea was reading the paper when I walked past her to get to the
coffee. She looked up as I passed and whistled.
"Hey baby! Brian's gonna love you in that!"
I gave her an exasperated look, hoping that she would get the point.
It seemed that she did. "So what time is this video thing over?" she
asked.
"Well, Brian said that if everything went according to plan, it
shouldn't last longer than five or six. Why?"
"No reason. I'm gonna have to work late, and then I'm supposed to go
for dinner with mom and dad. Just wondered if you wanted to tag along,"
she said, picking the paper back up.
"If I'm back in time, sure."
"Cool. But promise me that if you get a chance to talk to Brian
you'll do it. Don't worry about us," she said. I simply nodded my
agreement as she set her coffee down and checked her watch. "Oh shit! I'm
gonna be late!" She jumped up and grabbed her briefcase from the seat next
to her.
"Have a good day, honey," I said as she ran past me, giving me a peck
on the cheek.
"You too! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" came drifting back behind
her as she rushed out the door.
I grabbed my own coffee and sat down in the living room, trying to
finish the waking up process. I was just about to get another cup of
coffee when I saw the limo pull up, and Brian got out.
I met him at the door and told him that I just had to grab my bag. I
ran back to my bedroom and got it, then joined him at the front door again.
"You didn't have to dress up, you know," he said, looking at what I
was wearing.
"I didn't," I said, giving him an odd look.
"Okay..." he said, giving me a curious stare.
Before I could ask him what was wrong, he snapped out of it and opened
the door. "We better get out there before they start honking the horn.
Sure enough, the limo's horn started blaring as I was locking the door.
Brian laughed and ran to the car.
The door opened and we climbed in. I wound up sitting between Brian
and AJ, with Howie, Nick and Kevin across from us.
"Looking sharp, man!" AJ said, grabbing my collar. Nick whistled.
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I asked, looking down at
myself. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary.
"I think you look fine," Brian said with a smile.
"What's in the bag, Nate?" Kevin asked, pointing to the case resting
between my feet.
"Oh, my notes and my laptop. I thought that if I got bored or
something while you guys were in front of the cameras, I would get some
work done. I have a few letters that I need to get written and sent off."
"Well, there should be lots of time for that, I guess. These shoots
can seem to take forever sometimes. And they keep playing the damn song
over and over again," Kevin grinned.
"But it's your song. Surely you don't get sick of it?" I smiled back
at him.
"You wait until you've been there for ten hours, then we'll see how
funny you think it is," Nick chimed in.
"Well, like I said, if I get bored, I've got something to do. Don't
worry about me," I said.
We rode for a while in silence, and were soon pulling up in front of
the studio. We all climbed out of the car and made our way to the
entrance. We were met by an assistant named Judy, who directed us to the
stage. The boys had to report to wardrobe and makeup, so Judy took me into
an empty dressing room, where there were a couple of couches to sit on and
a table set up with assorted breakfast foods. Judy left me in the room,
giving me directions to the main stage so that I could come out and watch
the shoot, and went to check on the guys. I threw my bag on one of the
couches and headed for the food.
My stomach was fully awake now, and I began filling a plate.
"Whoa! I thought Nick ate a lot!" Brian laughed, entering the room
and sitting down next to my computer case.
He was dressed in a silver suit, with a deep blue t-shirt underneath.
He looked very good. I nodded approvingly.
"Yeah, well I may get up at six, but my stomach refuses to do anything
before eight," I said with a grin, sitting on the other couch and digging
in.
"So you bored yet?" he asked, reaching over and stealing a slice of
melon from my plate.
"Not yet, but ask me again when my belly's full," I said, popping a
strawberry into my mouth with a grin.
Brian laughed again as Nick and AJ walked in and joined us. They were
dressed just as Brian was, and both looked great. I was just about to tell
them so when Kevin stuck his through the doorway and announced that they
needed to get out onto the stage.
"You coming?" Brain asked as he stood up.
"As soon as I'm done with this plate," I smiled and sat back in my
seat. Brian just smiled and followed the rest of the guys. "Have fun!" I
called after them.
A few minutes later, with my stomache momentarily silenced, I headed
out of the room to watch the shoot. There were people running everywhere.
I headed for what looked like the main hub of activity and was rewarded
with my first look at the set for the video. The entire set was painted
silver, and the walls had broken pieces of mirror stuck to them, bouncing
the light around the set onto the guys.
They were filming a dance sequence when I arrived. The reflected
light seemed to dance with the guys as they moved, and I noticed that the
mirror pieces also reflected their movements back to the camera. I had a
mental picture of what the director was going for, and I was very
impressed.
When the director was finally happy with the dance shots they got, he
called for a short break while they switched sets. Brian and Nick sat on
either side of me, each of them holding towels and bottles of water.
"That should look pretty cool on camera," I said, pointing back in the
direction of the silver room.
"Yeah, that was my favourite part of the treatments," Brian smiled,
taking a long drink of water and wiping his forehead.
It wasn't long before the director was calling the guys back to work,
and there was a renewed burst of activity all around me. Not wanting to be
in the way, I headed back to the dressing room to try and get some work
done.
With Judy's help, I managed to find someplace to plug in my computer.
I decided to start by checking my email. I had deliberately avoided it
while I was in Toronto, and I had several messages. I selected those that
I needed to respond to right away, and saved the rest to answer later. I
opened the first letter, and started getting caught up.
Two hours later, I felt a hand drop onto my shoulder, and jumped with
a yell.
"Sorry man," Nick said, laughing. "Didn't mean to scare you. Just
wondered where you'd gotten to."
"Oh, well I decided to get out of everyone's way out there," I said,
jerking my thumb at the door. "So I thought I'd get caught up on my email.
I was doing that, when I was cued for a chat session with a friend of mine
from university that I haven't talked to in a while, so I kind of got
sucked in." I gave him an embarrassed smile.
"Okay. Tell him I said hi," he smiled, pointing to the computer.
I surprised him by doing just that. Nick jumped up off of the couch
and came to stand beside me.
'WHO'S NICK? NEW BOYFRIEND?'
I laughed and looked up at Nick. He was smiling too. Finally he
nudged me, and I returned to the computer. 'No,' I typed. 'Nick as in
Nick Carter, of the Backstreet Boys.'
'YOU'RE SHITTING ME'
Suddenly I had an idea. Reaching into a side pocket of my computer
case, I pulled out my digital camera. I pulled Nick's head down beside
mine, reached my arm out as far as it would go, and took our picture. Nick
seemed confused about what I was doing, but I just smiled when he asked.
I quickly connected the camera to the computer and loaded the image.
Nick laughed when he saw the picture. I attached the file to an email
message and sent it to my friend.
'Check your email,' I typed.
There was a few minutes with no response, and then a new message
flashed across my screen.
'HOLY SHIT MAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH NICK CARTER?'
Somebody called Nick's name, telling him to get back to the set.
"Sorry Nate, that's my cue," he said, running out the door. "Tell him I
said goodbye!"
I finished my chat session a few minutes later, and decided to do a
little exploring.
I left the dressing room and wandered through the studio, checking out
the other sets and backdrops stored out of the way. When I finally made it
back around to where the shoot was going on, I saw that the guys were now
lying on their backs in a circle, with their heads almost touching at the
centre, singing directly into a camera positioned overhead.
When everyone was satisfied with this shot, the director called lunch,
and the guys headed for the dressing room.
While I was rambling around the studio, someone had come in and
replaced the breakfast food with cold cuts and the like. I waited until
the guys were sitting down, and then grabbed a plate for myself.
"So how's everything going so far?" I asked, sitting down between Nick
and Brian.
"Actually, everything's going better than we thought it would. We
might even be able to get out of here early," Kevin said, taking a bite of
his sandwich.
This news seemed to make everyone happy. I was about to say something
else when Brian leaned over and poked me in the stomach.
"What was that for?" I asked with smile.
He smiled back. "I was just wondering if you were full enough for me
to ask if you were bored yet."
"Yeah, I am, and no, I'm not," I said with a laugh. "I got to see
some of the shoot, caught up on my important email, and had a good chat
with an old friend."
"Sounds like a pretty good day," AJ said. "So what's on the agenda
for this afternoon?"
"I thought I might relax and play a little DOOM," I said with a
laugh. The rest of the guys laughed and returned to their lunch. It was
half past one when the boys were called back to the set, and I followed
them back out.
This time, the director wanted shots of the guys sitting on a
semi-circle of stools and singing into the camera. Since they were singing
the same lines over and over, I only stayed for a little while, then made
my way back to the dressing room.
I looked at the couches longingly. 'I DID wake up early today,' I
reasoned with myself, thinking of how good a nap would be. It didn't take
a whole lot of internal arguing. I lay down and was asleep almost as soon
as I closed my eyes...
Somebody nudged me. I groaned and rolled over.
"Nate." Another nudge. Another groan.
"NATE!" five voices yelled together. That did it. I jumped up into a
sitting position and looked around the room.
"Sorry man, but we're done. Thought you might like to come with us,"
AJ said, trying not to laugh.
"Uh, yeah. Just let me grab my stuff," I mumbled, sitting up further
and swinging my feet off the end of the couch.
"I already got it, Nate," Nick said, passing me my case. "Now lets
get out of here before the director decides he needs another shot or
something."
The limo was waiting for us when we left the studio, and we were soon
on our way.
"You wanna join us for dinner, Nate?" Kevin asked, catching my
attention.
"Sure. Andrea's having dinner with her parents tonight, so I was
either joining them or grabbing something for myself. Sounds like fun."
Kevin lowered the window between us and the driver and told him that I
would be going back to the hotel with them instead of back to my place.
"So what's the deal with you and Andrea, anyway?" Howie said. As far
as I could recall, they were the first words he had spoken to me since they
had arrived in L.A.
"What do you mean?" I asked, turning my attention to him.
"Well, did you two go out or something? You seem awful close."
"Uh, Howie, what part of me being gay did you not understand?" I
asked with a smile.
"I meant before you were gay," he said, not returning my smile.
"There was no before I was gay, Howie."
"You know what I mean."
"To answer your question, no. Andrea and I never dated. I met her
when I started university, and we hit it off. Eventually we moved in
together and became really close. After we were done school, we decided to
move down here together, and bought the condo. We're the best of friends.
We tell each other everything, and we're always there for each other."
"Sounds like dating to me," he grumbled, turning his attention to the
window of the car.
Brian looked like he was about to say something, but I nudged him and
shook my head. I just rolled my eyes at Howie and let it go.
When we got back to the hotel, Howie excused himself, saying that he
wanted to take a nap, and that he would order something for himself later.
The rest of us made our way to Kevin's room for dinner. Kevin ordered the
food while the rest of us headed for the sitting area of the room.
"What's his problem?" Nick asked, nodding toward the door.
"Who cares?" Brian said, sitting down on the floor in front of the TV.
"He doesn't seem to like having me around," I said with a frown.
"Again, who cares?" Brian leaned back, resting his back against the
TV. "He'll get over it."
"Yeah, just give him his space. Whatever it is, he apparently wants
to work it out on his own," Kevin said, joining us. "The food should be
here in a little while."
We talked about the video shoot while we waited.
"You were right about the song, Kevin," I laughed. "It's still going
through my head. No offense, but I don't ever want to hear that song
again."
"Are you kidding? Once that baby hits MTV, it's about the only thing
you'll hear," AJ joked.
"So which part of the shoot was your favourite?" I asked the guys.
"The end!" they said in unison, and began laughing.
A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door, and Kevin jumped
up to answer it. The waiter wheeled in two carts loaded with food, gave us
a little bow, and left.
After dinner, Kevin and AJ decided to go clubbing. Brian, Nick and I
declined their invitation, opting to spend some time hanging out at the
hotel. We left Kevin's room so that he could get ready, and walked down
the hall to the room that Brian and Nick shared.
Nick suggested that we hang out on the balcony for a while, and we
moved out there. I stood at the railing, trying to single out the people
below, watching for the one person who stood out.
"What are you looking at?" Nick said, moving over to stand beside me.
"The people. Just trying to find someone."
"Who?" he asked, looking out over the railing.
My eye fell on a woman in a long dress coat, clutching her small purse
to her side and making her way through the throng of people below. "Her."
I pointed for Nick. "See the one in the long coat, with the dark hair?"
"Yeah? What about her?"
"I don't know. She just stands out to me for some reason. Look at
that crowd. Isn't there one person down there who seems more real? Like
there's some sort of light around them that only you can see?"
Nick scanned the crowd of people. Finally, his eye settled on
someone, and he pointed. "There. That bald man with the newspaper. He's
sitting on the bench."
"Good. Now what do you think he's doing on the bench? Why is he
there?"
"I don't know," he said, looking back up at me.
"Well, make something up. Why would someone just be sitting on a
bench in L.A.?"
"Maybe...maybe he lost his job, and he's afraid to go home to his
wife?" he looked to me for support.
"That's good, Nick. Now, what was the job that he lost?"
"He's a...he's a teacher." Nick said with a grin. He was beginning
to enjoy himself.
"What subject?"
"Math."
"And why did he lose his job?"
"Because he hit a student. No, he hit ON a student. Some girl in his
third period class came to him for after-school help and he hit on her.
She told her parents and they threatened the school with a lawsuit if they
didn't fire him," Nick said triumphantly. "And now he's afraid to go home,
because he's sure his wife will leave him when she finds out. What he
doesn't know is that she's sleeping with the paperboy, and she's going to
leave him anyway."
"Congratulations, Nick. You just created a character."
"What? I was just fooling around," he said, looking away from the
crowd again.
"No you weren't. You were creating a world. A world where some guy
on a bench became a lecherous math teacher whose wife is leaving him for
the paperboy. That's no different from what I do for a living. In fact,
most of my main characters come into being in exactly the same way that you
just made that man into something he wasn't. I see someone that intrigues
me, and I build a world around them."
"So who was that lady with the long coat?"
"Her? She used to be a model, but now she's a paid escort, on her way
to an appointment with the mayor," I laughed, moving away from the
railing. "If you keep an eye out for it, though, there's one of those
people in every crowd."
I sat down beside Brian. "You want to try it?" I asked.
"Maybe later. Right now, I'm just relaxing and enjoying the view," he
said with a smile.
So we remained on the balcony, just watching the lights of the city
come on.
PART XII
I awoke in a strange bed, not at all sure of where I was. I looked
around the room in an attempt to get my bearings. I could see another bed,
with someone in it, and a small sitting and dining area. Enough to know
that I was in a hotel room, and with that information, the rest fell into
place. 'I must have fallen asleep on the balcony,' I thought to myself,
lying back down.
Realising that I was incredibly thirsty, I got up and made my way
toward the only doorway in the room that was lit with a pale light from
within. Stumbling into the bathroom, I found a glass, got myself a drink
of water, and drank it down. I refilled the glass, meaning to put it next
to the bed in case I awoke again, and headed back out into the main room.
Halfway to my bed, I heard a slight snore, causing me to turn and look
at the other bed in the room. What I saw there froze me in my tracks.
Brian and Nick were in the bed together, and Brian was cuddled right
up to Nick, resting his head on Nick's chest. They were so close that at
first I had mistaken them for one person. The mixture of emotions that
arose within me - embarrassment, surprise, disappointment, and more than a
little jealousy, truth be told - threw me completely off balance, and for a
moment I was aware of nothing else.
I didn't even feel the glass slipping from my fingers. The sound it
made as it shattered on the wood flooring brought me back to my senses. I
looked down, seeing the water all over my feet, then back up at Brian and
Nick, hoping that I had not woken them.
Nick snored slightly and then his breathing evened again, but Brian's
eyes shot open at the sound. He looked up at me and, seeing the expression
on my face, looked back down at himself and Nick. With a gasp, Brian sat
up quickly, looking again at me.
"Nate," he whispered, trying not to wake Nick.
I turned and made my way back into the bathroom, momentarily winning
the battle to keep my tears from falling. I hadn't realised how much I had
been hoping that Brian and I would get together until I had seen he and
Nick in bed. Suddenly it felt like my entire world was crashing down
around my ears.
I could hear Brian making his way out of the bed and following me. I
made it to the bathroom and closed the door, turning the lock as soon as it
had clicked home.
"Nate," Brian whispered from the other side of the door, adding a
slight knock. "Nate."
"I'm alright Brian," I whispered back, sitting on the edge of the
bathtub. "Just go back to bed. Everything's fine."
"No it's not. We need to talk for a minute," Brian said, knocking
quietly again.
With a sigh, I got up and crossed the small bathroom, unlocking the
door. Hearing this, Brian silently opened it and came inside.
"Listen Brian, I'm really fine. I was just a bit surprised. I had no
idea that you and Nick were together. I'm happy for you, really."
"No, Nate, we're not. Together, I mean. There's nothing going on
between me and Nick. He doesn't even like guys, as far as I know," Brian
said, sitting beside me on the tub.
"But, the two of you..." I started, before he interrupted me.
"Wasn't what it looked like," he said with a laugh. "You fell asleep
on the balcony while we were watching the sun go down. Nick and I carried
you in here and put you in my bed. Not wanting to wake you, I called
Andrea and told her that you were going to be staying here, then Nick
offered to let me stay with him. I guess we sort of came together while we
were sleeping. I was as shocked as you were when I woke up."
"Shit, I'm sorry Brian. I just saw you two and assumed that..."
"Don't worry about it Nate, I would have done the same thing. Now can
we get some sleep? I'm getting cold."
I looked at him and realised that, while I was still fully dressed, he
was only wearing boxers and a thin t-shirt. "Sure, let's go," I said,
getting up and opening the door.
"Goodnight, Nate," Brian said, heading back to where Nick lay. He got
into the bed, making sure that he was as far from Nick's body as he could
get, and closed his eyes.
"Goodnight," I whispered with a smile. I climbed back into my bed and
was quickly asleep.
PART XIII
"Time to get up Nate!" Nick yelled as he jumped from his bed to mine,
nearly bouncing me off the other side.
I groaned and opened my eyes. Nick was smiling down at me, still
bouncing on the bed. "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to jump on the
bed?" I asked, still trying to focus my eyes.
"Yeah, but I'm a big boy now, I'll do what I want," he responded with
a smile.
"You're not too big for me to take over my knee young man," I said,
shaking my finger at him like an old man.
"Hey, don't drag me into your sick fantasies," he said with a laugh,
bouncing back over to his own bed. I noticed that Brian was not there.
"What happened to Brian?" I asked.
"I'm right here," Brian said, coming out of the bathroom. He made his
way over to his dresser and pulled out some jeans and a blue silk
button-down shirt. "Hurry up and get ready. Breakfast is in Kevin's room
in a few minutes."
With a groan, I made my way up off of the bed. Since I was still
dressed in the clothes that I had worn the day before, I made my way to the
bathroom to try and make myself presentable. On my way I noticed the
broken pieces of my glass, still sitting in a puddle of water. "Shit, I
should pick that up."
"Don't worry about it. I already talked to the maid, and she's going
to get it when she cleans the room," Brian said, buttoning his shirt. I
nodded absently and walked into the bathroom.
I emerged a few minutes later with a freshly washed face and my hair
brushed, feeling marginally more awake. Brian and Nick were waiting, and
stood as I came into the room.
"Let's go," Nick said. "I'm starving."
Brian and I followed him out of the room and down the hall to Kevin's
door. Brian knocked and opened the door at the same time.
The rest of the guys were already there, and they all seemed very
surprised to see me.
"Hey Nate!" AJ said with a smile. "Didn't know you were staying
over."
"Neither did I, AJ. It just sort of happened, I guess," I said with a
smile.
"Alright everyone, dig in," Kevin said, taking a seat at the table,
which was covered in eggs, bacon, toast, sausages, and an assortment of
fruit.
I walked over and took a seat, but didn't put anything on my plate.
Brian sat beside me, giving me a concerned look. "You okay Nate? Don't
you want anything to eat?"
"Nah. My stomach, as usual, is still asleep. I'm fine for now," I
said, contenting myself with a cup of coffee.
The rest of the guys sat down with us and started to eat. They all
talked about what their day was going to be like.
"So we're in the recording studio all day?" whined Nick, shoving a
forkful of eggs into his mouth.
Kevin took a drink of his juice, and answered. "Not quite all day,
Nick. We're scheduled to do an autograph session at three. We'll have to
be done in the studio by two at the latest, so we can grab something to eat
before heading to the mall."
The guys sighed, thinking of having to deal with the screaming fans
that afternoon. The discussion continued, but I wasn't paying much
attention to it. It seemed to concern the logistics of getting from the
studio to the mall where they were set to appear. Several times, I looked
up to find Howie staring at me. As soon as I saw him, he looked away from
me, but his eyes kept darting back to me when he thought I wasn't looking.
My stomache finally started to wake up near the end of breakfast. I
moved my hand to stab the last strawberry with my fork, but Brian beat me
to it.
"Oh sorry," he said, moving to put it back.
"No, it's alright. You take it," I said, putting my fork down again
with a smile.
"Here," Brian said, moving his fork to my lips. "You have it."
I opened my mouth, letting Brian feed me the strawberry, then thanked
him.
"No problem," he said, smiling again.
"Oh please!" Howie muttered, standing from the table.
"What was that?" Brian asked, turning his attention to Howie.
"Nothing, forget it," Howie said, making his way to the sitting area
of the room and collapsing onto the couch.
"No, Howie. What is it that you wanted to say?" I asked, feeling the
anger rise inside of me. Howie had been staring and glaring at me since I
had picked them up at the airport, and I was getting sick of it. So far as
I knew, I had done nothing to piss him off, and yet he had been distant and
borderline rude all week.
"I said forget it," he said.
"No, I won't forget it. You've obviously got a problem with me and I
can't for the life of me figure out why. You've been ignoring me all week,
and when you're not ignoring me, you're giving me the evil eye. Now, what
the hell is your problem?" I said, throwing my hands in the air in
frustration. The rest of the guys looked back and forth from me to Howie,
waiting for the next one to speak.
"Fine. You wanna know? I'll tell you. Brian's gay. I accept that.
I accept it because I have to; because I can't change it. He's a part of
the group, and I have to deal with it. I don't like it, but I can deal
with it."
"So what's that got to do with me?" I asked him. I didn't see how
Brian's being gay was somehow grounds to be mad at me.
"Come on!" he yelled. "You obviously want him. You're just hanging
around trying to get into his pants," he looked at my rumpled clothing. It
was obviously the outfit I had been wearing the day before. "If you
haven't already!"
"Hang on Howie!" Nick came to my defense. "Nothing happened last
night! Brian slept with me, not Nate!"
"It doesn't matter, Nick. Don't you see that? It's just a matter of
time before he manages to seduce Brian. That's all he's been trying to do
since we met him in L.A.," Howie said, not taking his eyes from mine.
"Howie..." Brian began. I looked over at him, seeing how angry he
was getting. His face was getting red and his hands were clenched into
fists. I reached over and put my hand on his arm, trying to calm him down.
I shook my head slightly, trying to tell him to let me take care of it.
"Howie," I said, trying to remain calm. "You don't have a clue what
the hell you're talking about."
"Whatever. You're just another little slut trying to add a Backstreet
Boy to their list of conquests," Howie spit out, giving me a look of pure
hatred.
That did it. The anger that I had been fighting finally washed over
me. I got up from the table and made my way to stand in front of Howie.
He looked a little unsure of himself, but stood his ground. I could hear
the rest of the group standing as well, probably preparing to pull me off
of Howie.
"Listen to me, you little fuck," I said through gritted teeth. "You
don't have to like me. In fact, it's fine with me if you want to hate me.
I don't care what you do or don't like, or what you can or can't accept. I
don't ask you to like me, I don't ask you to accept me or the way I live my
life, but I do demand to be treated with respect. I give it and I expect
it in return. If you can't do the same, we're going to have a problem."
Seeing that I wasn't going to hit him, Howie's slight smile returned
to his face. "If you're looking for respect, don't look at me."
"Fine," I said, backing away from him again. Crossing the room, I
threw open the door and walked out into the hall. The anger that had just
been surging through my body was gone. In its place was a numbing
emptyness like I had never known before. I made my way down the hall to
Brian and Nick's room before the tears started.
'What if they all think that way?' I asked myself over and over again.
I let myself into the room and collapsed on the bed, burying my head under
the pillow and sobbing into the mattress.
"Nate?" I heard through the pillow. Suddenly there was a hand on my
back, rubbing back and forth, trying to comfort me. Gradually the tears
subsided, and I sat up. Brian was sitting next to me on the bed, tears
running down his face as well.
"Where is everyone else?" I asked, wiping at my eyes.
Brian did the same while answering. "They're taking turns yelling at
Howie. I thought Nick and Kevin were going to tear him apart," he said
with a small giggle.
"So they don't hate me too?" I asked, still looking down at my hands.
Brian reached over and took one of them in his own, holding it as much
for comfort as to give it, I think. "No they don't hate you. Everyone
loves having you around. Well, everyone but Howie apparently." He tried
to laugh but it didn't work.
"Why's he so mad at me?" I asked, more to the room than to Brian. In
fact, I was surprised when he answered me.
"Well, he can't be mad at me, because he needs me around." Brian took
a deep breath before continuing. "I think he's so mad at you because sees
that I'm falling for you, and there isn't anything that he can do to stop
it." Brian squeezed my hand.
"You're what?" I asked, startled. I looked up at him, directly into
his eyes. Brian just smiled. Seeing my confusion, he leaned in and gently
kissed me on the lips.
Starbursts went off in my head. Brian Littrell actually kissed me!
My mind was reeling in confusion and elation. "Brian..." I started.
Suddenly Brian's eyes filled with tears again, and he let go of my
hand. Standing, he moved off toward the window. "I'm sorry, Nate. I
shouldn't have done that. I just wanted to make you feel better."
Seeing the hurt and confusion on Brian's face broke through my own. I
got up off of the bed and made my way to Brian. Turning him around, I
could see the tears falling freely again. "I'm sorry," he said again.
Without thinking, I placed my hands on his shoulders and brought his
lips to mine. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but a tender, caring one. I
tried to pour all of the comfort and compassion I had in my soul into it,
letting him know how I felt.
Finally, I pulled away, looking deeply into his eyes. The confusion
was gone. "I've wanted to do that for days," I said with a grin. Brian's
only answer was to draw me in for another kiss.
When we parted again, I took his hand and led him back to the bed.
Sitting on the edge, I turned to face him.
"Nate? Can I ask you something?" he asked.
"Sure," I said. From his tone, I could tell that he was nervous about
whatever it was he wanted to ask, and it made me a little aprehensive as
well.
"How come when I acted like such a prick in the diner, you didn't say
anything, but when Howie did it just now, you ripped into him? Don't get
me wrong, I'm not sorry that I missed seeing you that mad or anything, but
it was a totally different reaction than the one I got."
I thought about it for a moment, not sure how I was going to explain
it to him. "Well, for one thing, you took me by surprise. One minute you
were being wonderful, and the next you were pushing Nick out the door.
Howie's been giving me looks since I picked you guys up at the airport. I
knew it was only a matter of time before something was said, and I was more
prepared for it," I said.
"Oh," was all Brian said, sitting back on the bed a little more.
I took his hand again, making him look at me, and drew a deep breath
before I continued. "But the real reason, I guess, is because I don't care
what Howie thinks. Him not liking me isn't a big deal for me, so when he
said what he did, I got angry. I was ready to get into it with him." At
this point, I looked up from our entwined hands directly into those
wonderful blue eyes.
"But you're different. You're the one that I really wanted to meet
that night. You were my favourite Backstreet Boy, the cutest, the
funniest, the sweetest." I ran my other hand along his jawline, making him
smile. "When you reacted the way you did, I was angry, but more than that
I was hurt. I cared about what you thought, and when you left so suddenly,
it felt like someone had reached in and ripped some vital part of me right
out of my body. I stayed like that for a long time, although I don't think
even I was aware of it after a while. That's why I reacted differently
today. Howie made me mad, but he didn't hurt me. Do you understand?"
Brian nodded, a slight smile still playing around the corners of his
mouth. "Whether he hurt you today or not, I'm still sorry about the things
Howie said," he responded, taking my other hand as well.
"Fuck him," I said dismissively. "Can I ask you something now?"
Brian nodded again.
"Did you really mean what you just said? About falling for me?"
Brian looked embarrassed, but nodded and gave me a quick kiss, as if
to prove it.
"Well then, there's only one thing to do," I said with a smile.
"What's that?" Brian asked, still holding both of my hands.
"Mr. Littrell, you and I are going on a date."
To be continued...
Okay, that's it for this part. Please let me know what you think.
Everyone's opinion is welcome and wanted.
Email me at DLS_stories@hotmail.com
Thanks for reading! :)