Mom lives in an independent facility, but she needs to be in AL. She begs me to find her someone to sit with, etc. She says, "See if you can find an older person or couple that needs an honest person like me to sit with them and take care of them. I'm even willing to go live with them." So, the thought occurred to me that this may be how I get her into AL. I explained that if she moved to such a place (where she can be a caregiver, herself) she could eat her meals with others in a big dining room and she could visit with other people who enjoy the same things she does. She told me that she would love that! This Thursday Mom has an appointment with a neuropsychologist for the "big test" to determine what stage she is in and, hopefully, pinpoint her diagnosis. (Her neurologist believes she has Vascular dementia without behavioral issues.) I am totally swinging at a ball in the dark. I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll have better clarity after her test. Also, Mom is now having delusions, which is something I plan on talking with the doctor about. Any suggestions you can offer are greatly appreciated. Thank you all in advance.

5 Answers

What a great idea! Many other residents will enjoy her companionship. Hope it will continue to work well. When my mom was in a day program she did the best when she thought she was helping someone else. Though there was a time or two that she would try to help others to escape. Never successfully.😉

It’s process in life of once you realize take obligation as 24/7 caregiver. Unfortunately, I’m on double dose as 24/7 CG . If you are the sole caregiver. Think to plan ahead of all potential issues as well as what’s gonna happen and your recovery after to try to get to what you call get back to normalcy. Every day, Life is a test depending on how you take it at all ages. Different when taking care as a caregiver with different conditions as previous 24/7.

I think it's a great idea, if the AL people are able to play along. Your mother might actually provide some real help, particularly with people who don't socialise easily. I remember another post from someone whose mother believed that she had invited all the residents to dine with her, and went from table to table welcoming them and asking if they were enjoying their meal. As delusions go, they don't come much better - so long as everyone is happy with it!

I think that is a good idea. Tell her she will have a nice room of her own. That there will be people there that will allow her to "sit" with them. But explain that there will be aides to help with the "dirty" work. Make staff aware that she was a caregiver. That if possible, let her "help" where possible. My Mom was in charge of a yearly dinner at Church for years. At her AL she always thought she should be helping to set up for dinner and serving. Kept telling her that the staff was paid to do that. She was just to relax.

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