Body Language of the Hands

“Among all species, our human hands are unique -- not only in what they can accomplish, but also in how they communicate. Human hands can paint the Sistine Chapel, pluck a guitar, maneuver surgical instruments, chisel a David, forge steel, and write poetry. They can grasp, scratch, poke, punch, feel, sense, evaluate, hold and mold the world around us. Our hands are extremely expressive; they can sign for the deaf, help tell a story, or reveal our innermost thoughts.” (“What Every Body is Saying,” Harper Collins) No other species has appendages with such a remarkable range of capabilities. And yet if you asked most people about the nonverbals (body language) of the hands, they would be hard pressed to tell you all the things the hands reveal.

Despite the acquisition of spoken language over millions of years of human evolution, our brains are still hard-wired to engage our hands in accurately communicating our emotions, thoughts, and sentiments (“The Psychology of Nonverbal Communications,” Kindle Edition). Therefore, whether people are speaking or not, hand gestures merit our attention as a rich source of nonverbal behavior to help us understand the thoughts and feelings of others.

It is interesting that our brain gives a disproportionate amount of attention to the fingers, and hands, as compared to the rest of the body. This could be in part because our first touch is with our hands and we seek the hands of our parents for safety or it is because the human hand can hold a weapon. For whatever the reason, we tend to focus on the hands and are mesmerized by them. Hitler used them to his advantage, as do magicians, orchestra conductors, and surgeons.

Our human need to see hands is so important you can try a simple experiment. Without revealing your intentions, hide your hands during a conversation, for the complete duration of the conversation. At the end of the conversation, ask the participants what they thought and what they felt as you conversed with them. You will find that people will sense something is wrong. In my work with mock juries, we found that attorneys, or for that matter witnesses, that hide their hands are perceived as less open and less honest by the jurors.

Because the hands can reveal so much, I decided to write in my new book, “Louder Than Words,” (Harper Collins), about the kinds of information we can glean from the hands and what others may interpret. Here are a few of the comments excerpted from the book:

· Our hands reveal a lot about what is going on in our heads.

· How we touch others is determined by how we feel about them. Full touch with the palm of the hand is warm and affectionate while touching with the fingertips betrays less affection.

· When we are comfortable and contented blood flows into the hands making them warm and pliable. Stress makes our hands feel colder and more rigid.

· You may not have noticed but when you feel strong and confident, the space between your fingers grows making your hands more territorial. When you feel insecure, that space disappears, in fact, you may find yourself tucking your thumbs under your fingers when under a lot of stress.

· When you feel confident, your thumbs will rise more often as you speak, especially if your fingers are intertwined in front of you.

· You will steeple your fingers (fingertips together like a church steeple) more often when confident but it will vanish the moment you lack confidence or have insecurities.

· Steepling is important to get your point across that you feel strongly about what you are saying, it is probably the most powerful display of confidence that we possess.

· When you are stressed there will be more rubbing of the hands together (self massaging or “pacifying”) which will increase in frequency and force commensurate with the stress.

· When things are really stressful, you will rub your hands together with fingers stretched out and interlaced (Teepee Hands). A behavior we reserve for when things are really bad.

· The first time we touch others is usually with a handshake. It may seem trivial, but get it wrong and it will leave a lasting negative impression. Get it right and you score emotional points.

· Because any touch affects our emotional center (either positively or negatively) how we touch or even shake hands matters.

· No one likes an aggressive handshake and vise-like grips are not appreciated.

· 1980’s style hand jujitsu where you try to dominate the other person’s hand leaves very negative impressions and is really very amateurish.

· Handshakes should mirror the other person’s handshake with good eye contact.

· Handshaking is a social phenomenon which is not equally practiced around the world. If you receive a very weak handshake, don’t grimace, just deal with it as that is the other person’s preference and we should strive to mirror others where we can for the sake of social synchrony.

· Avoid using what’s called the “politician’s handshake” (two hands shaking one) as no one likes it, particularly from strangers. Save this handshake for your grandmother who will appreciate the extra tactile touch (both hands covering hers for a long time) a lot more than your business acquaintances.

· Remember in some cultures, a handshake is a secondary greeting gesture. A hug or an abrazo, even a kiss, may be more in order.

· Don’t point with your index finger, even if it’s to direct a person to a chair. Use your whole hand (fingers extended) to direct or point.

· Hands also indicate how much we care for ourselves and how we view social convention. Hands may be tended to or they may be filthy; nails may be manicured or look ratty.

· Long nails on men are seen as odd or effeminate and people typically interpret nail biting as a sign of anxiety, nervousness or insecurity.

. Wear too many rings, or a pinky ring, and you won't be taken seriously.

· Tattoos, on the hands in particular, are not very well received in the professional ranks and should be avoided if you are in the business sector, medicine, law, and finance.

These are just a few of the messages we derive from the hands. The hands really are exquisite transmitters of our emotions and thoughts, even our well being; we can’t afford to ignore them.

I've read lots of articles on bodily movements and how they can betray emotion but your's was the first that dealt with just the hands.

Years ago, I did some work for one of the nation's larger police departments and, as a result, frequently found myself being invited out on patrol. People who give cops a hard time ought to drive around in a black & white one night to see what it's like. It's no fun.

Anyway, I was understandable nervous my first time but I took a friend's advice and started wearing a pair of thin leather gloves. It was amazing the sense of confidence they instilled. Have you ever heard of such a thing or were my pals on the force merely going along with a kind of placebo effect? If it works for him...great!

I think there is something to the wearing of the gloves, first obviously it makes your hands look larger and it conceals sweating and any nervous tremors. When I was on the SWAT team we had to wear nomex gloves and it just make you feel stronger for some odd reason.

I think things that cloak us psychologically give us an advantage and this may be one of them. We definately orient towards the hands (magicians exploit this) so anything that hides them gives us a little bit of an advantage. Thank you. J

Interesting point. I think clothing, including gloves and other artifacts gird us psychologically. Whether it's a team shirt, or religious undergarments, even head wear, every culture seems to use clothing not just for warmth and protection but for identity, socio-status, and as emblems that give psychological strength to the wearer. Thank you for your comments. J

A Secret Service agent once said that, he spent so much time watching hands, he could spot a pair that looked familiar. I guess it becomes a matter of selective perception.

And if you have a moment, one more question please:

A while back I wrote a column dealing with weird things people believe - Area 51 to a 911 CIA conspiracy. Readers mostly agreed that such notions were unfounded but a significant number of what would otherwise seem to be sensible sorts objected to my including the JFK assassination. You would certainly know better than I. Is there any reasonable doubt on that?

It is incredible people will believe in area 51 saucers and all sorts of conspiracies. Anyone who believes in conspiracies, including the 9/11 ilk, has not worked for the federal government. Once you do you realize how heavily burdended life is by the uman factor and they could not conspire to do anything right. 400,000 people worked on Apollo 11 and still people believe it did not happen. Uuuugh.

Kennedy was shot by Oswald. Period end of story. Best book on it is Reclaiming History: The Assassination of President John F. Kennedy (Hardcover).

Alas nothing I say as a former FBI agent will convince people that there are no conspiracies behind 911 and so forth. So I am reminded of Mark Tawins admonition: Don't try to teach a pig to sing, it annoys the pig and wastes your time.

I know it's been almost a year since you posted your article on the Body Language of the Hands, but when I read it, I was wondering if maybe you would have an idea of why I do what I do. Ever since I was a baby in a crib, I've had crocheted blankets, but many people do. What's different, is that unlike anyone else, when I'm around a crocheted blanket I have this weird urge of sorts to put my fingers through the blanket and pull them back out. It's something I constantly do to this day, although it doesn't affect me when I'm not around one. When I am, I do this almost constantly and almost without even realizing it. Have you ever heard of anyone else doing that? Thank you for your time if you get this and I appreciate any insight you might have for it :)

I think many of us have similar behaviors we started in our infancy. By passing your
Fingers through the material you increase the surface area of skin (read nerves) which are stimulated.
In doing so, soothing chemicals in the brain are released and you derive (ed) comfort.
When I was a child I woul pacify myself by grabbing my mothers dress or skirt. Now I find
Myself grabbing the tail of my suit coat when stressed.

We derive benefits from such behaviors and unless they adversely affect
How we function they are the vestiges of our youth & experience. Jn

I'd like to know what is there in common and what are the differences among the many ways in which people can hide their hands, e.g., by putting them in their pockets or on their backs. Thank you for the attention,