marriage

Physical Touch is one of the biblical love languages that is very powerful.

“And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment: For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole. But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.” Matt 9:20-21

“For he had healed many; insomuch that they pressed upon him for to touch him, as many as had plagues.” Mark 3:10

Jesus healed many by touching them. If you were sick and you got close enough to touch Jesus, many times it was enough to be healed. The woman was diseased and wanted to touch even just the hem of his garment. Who knows how she got through the crowd. She wasn’t made whole until she made physical contact with Jesus.

“Then cometh he to a city of Samaria, which is called Sychar, near to the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. Now Jacob’s well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well: and it was about the sixth hour. There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink. (For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy meat.) Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans.Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.” John 4:5-10

When we read about Jesus and his apostles and how they dealt with people, we can see Acts of Service. Christ passing through Samaria is an example of his Acts of Service. Jesus stopped at the well and asked the woman for something to drink. As the story goes on, he is having a ‘Quality Time’ conversation with this woman. Throughout the whole conversation, she is perceiving that this man has done something for her. Acts of Service is how we treat people, so that they know, they have been attended to.

Sometimes a loved one will send little messages to tell you what love language they speak, hoping that you will get the hint. Guys sometimes need to be hit on the head to get a clue.

My routine when I get home, is to get myself a triple mocha and grab the sports page of the newspaper. My wife will come and sit next to me. As I read the sports page, she tells me about her day. After a while, as I become more engaged in the sports page, she will give up and go start dinner or do something else. After reading the ‘The 5 Love Languages’ book, it dawned on me that I have been being a dummy. I see now that she wants to talk when I get home. I have discovered that Quality Time is probably her primary love language.

“The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself.”Eccl. 10:12

We all want to be wise. The Ecclesiastical writer talks about the wisdom that can only come from God. With God’s wisdom in our hearts, the concepts in these languages might come easier. We want to fill people’s tanks. Our loved ones may have tanks that are getting empty.

In a home where one companion is saved and one is not saved, it brings some special circumstances with it. Home life is completely different than where both are saved and serving God with all their heart.

Marriages can go through difficult times when facing the pressures of life. Children, other families, other children interacting with your children, pressures of jobs, failing health, pressures of in-laws, caring for our aging parents- all of these things have an influence on our marriage relationship. Families that have a Quid Quo Pro mindset (if you do this for me, I’ll do that for you) will not do very well under these pressures. Our personal expectations of what we think we should receive from our relationship many times get blown out. If we do not have predetermined expectations, we will have the grace to work through those things that would otherwise divide and disappoint us.

There have been many things written and much advice shared with the aim at helping a husband and wife’s relationship to grow. Valentine’s Day is a special day set aside to celebrate love. Couples are always looking for new ways to bring romance and intimacy into their relationship. These can all be pleasant expectations and gestures; but without a carefully laid underlying foundation of trust and respect, couples will not prosper and grow together properly. Other efforts will grow stale in time, not producing the results we are seeking for.