Japanese are aghast to learn that the 2012 Olympics has banned sushi sellers from providing soy sauce as there are no makers sponsoring the event, making the dish practically inedible to Japanese and further drawing attention to the increasingly farcical nature of the event.

According to the Japanese reporters swarming the event to give blanket coverage of their team’s humiliatingly tearful judo losses and the anticipated crushing victory of their women’s football team, all sushi on sale at the games has been banned from including wasabi or shouyu.

Diligent investigations lead to the discovery that all this was due the hyper-draconian sponsorship rules in force at the games – sushi suppliers say that as the condiments are supplied in sachets bearing the logo of non-Olympic sponsors, the event’s “logo police” have warned them they face a £20,000 fine if they use them.

Similar restrictions have affected the sale of lesser foodstuffs, with hawkers being forced into under the counter sales if they wish to provide branded snacks which have not paid up millions in advertising fees to the organisers.

Whilst mere foreigners and certainly the British may not know any better, the exclusion of rotten soy bean juice from raw fish bits on rice has prompted some unusually critical reporting from the Japanese media, not generally known for its willingness to confront marketing excesses.

With the likes of McDonald’s and Coca Cola proudly dominating sponsorship of the world’s biggest sporting event with their notoriously healthy produce, it is however perhaps understandable why organisers feel the need to exclude inferior foodstuffs.

The consequences of obsessive corporate sponsorship, crazed flag-buffing, media saturation and of course the drug-addled athletes, corrupt mafia organisers and pork barrel contracts for the host city have become increasingly controversial with the latest games.

Aside from the expected draconian restrictions on what can be sold in or around the games and the sudden interest in otherwise utterly obscure sports solely for their medal yields, a new spectacle for the games is teams of athletes deliberately competing to lose against one another.

Female badminton teams from China, South Korea and Indonesia outraged audiences and organisers by attempting to throw their matches (apparently due to the tournament’s structure, which would allow them easier opponents and less chance of being knocked out if they deliberately threw certain crucial games), causing a minor scandal.

The Badminton World Federation was in any case so disgusted with them competing to lose against one another that it banned the lot of them from further Olympic competition for “clearly abusive” play.

Events like these, and the even worse prospect of ‘sabinuki sushi undrenched in soy sauce, have prompted much criticism in the land of the rising sun, with the renowned culinary prowess of the UK proving an especially soft target:

“Who would want to eat sushi without shouyu?”

“Who could eat sushi without soy sauce!?”

“Poor Kikkoman.”

“This is like something from Monty Python. But not funny.”

“What do you expect given the culinary sense of the British…”

“I can’t understand why anyone would order sushi in the UK in the first place.”

“British food is seriously disgusting anyway, we don’t need to be reminded by being deprived of soy sauce on our sushi.”

“Well, it’s just a nation of hairy barbarians so there’s no way they could understand sushi.”

“There’s no understanding what a nation deprived of culinary civilisation will do when it comes to food.”

“Can’t they just put the soy sauce in a cola bottle? I guess some of those guys might accidentally drink it but it’s not like they could tell.”

“I don’t get why they can’t just remove the labels on the sachets or something? Honestly, the organisers are such greedy misers that we should expect this stuff from them.””

“Just stick to inari or anago and you’ll be fine.”

“This Olympics is going to go down as a failure – the horrible management of the event is the worst ever.”

“They should just drop these ridiculous Olympic sports, it’s just a marketing event now.”

“Whilst mere foreigners and certainly the British may not know any better, the exclusion of rotten soy bean juice from raw fish bits on rice has prompted some unusually critical reporting from the Japanese media, not generally known for its willingness to confront marketing excesses.”

Or…HERE IS AN IDEA!
The Japanese could actually try eating something else for an hour or two. Then when they leave the Olympic park go to a Sushi restaurant and eat as much Sushi as they want.
The Westfield shopping centre, attached to the Olympic park, has a metric fuck tonne of restaurants serving food from all over the world and is less than 5 mins walk from the Park’s front gate.

The Japanese could also try investigating other foods while in foreign countries, I travel all over Asia (including Japan) and don’t eat fish and chips or complain about the lack of roast beef and potatoes while I do it. FFS.

Anyway, there seems to be something new about these tosspots every other day in the national papers / news, and their exploits and misadventures are well documented. They’re like some weird cult that belives what it’s doing is right, even though everyone around them can see otherwise.

It honestly doesn’t surprise me that they’ve decided to screw over the sushi fans too.

I doubt the author realizes that sushi and majority of the food stuffs that japan has is empty calories and it’s wasted and burned by the excessive caloric intake these athletes need to maintain to stay in peak physical shape.
There is also another reason why Japan is not allowed to have fish at the event, it’s due to a spawning season going on right now in the UK with fisheries. Plus the japanese have been known to be the filthiest of visitors when their athletes dump their garbage wherever they walk and expect others to clean it up.

Early on in the novel “1984” there’s a scene where an old man is trying to order at the bar a drink. The barkeep can only sell liquor by the gram or the litre…

This indeed is 1984…

The novel was modified and marketed as just “Communism is bad, mmmkay!?”

But the real message was that big international corporations would rule the world, using fake wars and political ideologies to justify their agendas. And that it would be as STUPID as brutal and oppressive….

If it black people and chicken wings everyone is like haha black people and chicken. If it’s kawaii asians and soy sause everyone understands even if they don’t use it much themselves and protests along supporting all things Japanese 😀

At first I was like, it’s the Japs being bitter because they’re shit at everything and now they can’t eat their raw foods that make them not barbarians… oh wait lol they’re hideously barbaric in every aspect- backwards scrubs.

But then I saw the rest of the community getting mad here and thought, maybe the opening was only good from a british view. Also there’s no such thing as British food outside of fish and chips, we didn’t like any of it and just hire other nations to feed us, like the French and Chinese

I´ve never really understood the stereotype of english food being so bad, I mean sure french or italian food is better and more refined, but UK food is no more simple and greasy than that of say, Germany or idk eastern europe.

Hey, the athletes should be grateful that the Olympic committee is protecting them against potentially explosive soy sauce. Since as we all know, everything imported into Western nations comes from China.

It’s the same with all sports now. Football, Tennis Golf. If you show up with the wrong drink in hand or the wrong shirt they tell you to dump it or removie it because its not the official sponsor of the event.

Seriously makes me wonder why anyone even attends such strict events when you get better coverage of it off TV.

Has nothing to do with money, a lot of people are allergic to soy and soy sauce. Mcdonalds and Coca~Cola make sure not to use ingridients people are allergic too, it’s simple logic as to why they are and have been sponcers for a while, but they shouldn’t even be mentioned in this topic anyway, as it has nothing to do with them. How would sushi become a sponcer anyway, it’s not a company, and sushi wasn’t even banned, it was soy sauce, the whole topic is just a means to incite.

The biggest problem with the opening, as it is with most Olympic openings nowadays, is that it was rife with symbolism pertaining to the host country. The issue with that is that unless you have a commentator explaining every little piece of symblism to you, you sit there going “WTF was that about?”. If you could understand the symbolism, most of it really wasn’t bad.

As for the soy sauce thing, England has nothing to do with that. It’s the International Olympic Commitee.

Agree with Anon @ 13:39. What does the lack of cultural understanding say about the broadcast quality in ______ country. As an American, I thought the commentary was clueless due to either laziness, ignorance or apathy… considering folks all over the world watch some US TV, I now have a unifying explanation for the Common American Charicature. Apparently, we broadcast to anyone with $$$.

Sounds like a good time to own a mobile food stand. Just park the stand across the stadium parking lot, with a HUGE sign advertizing availability of Kikkoman products and charge a fortune for every bottle.

I’m assuming they are talking about boxed sushi not fresh sushi. If you buy any boxed one, they usually come with 2 packets: a wasabi one and a soy sauce one. I don’t think its practicle for them to just dump the contents of those packets directly into the boxes.

I’ve never actually seen Trojan condoms available off-the-shelf anywhere in the EU, so no, Trojan obviously does not sponsor them. And I used to believe that Durex is american as well, but this is the good thing about Sankaku, you’ll learn something new every day.

Who are you calling narrow minded? You’re forgetting that most of these replies are from people from Japan’s shut-in internet crowd. The equivalent of /b/tards. And you’re judging the entire country on these people’s words? Now who’s the racist?

Its because Sushi venders and Soy Sauce makers didn’t sponsor the Olympic games in London that’s why. They have to be official Olympic sponsors in order to sell there stuff at a Olympic event.I know it sucks but that’s how they run things in London.

Honestly I don’t know whats funnier(sadder?) that the Olympics has become so anally money grubbing that they won’t even allow packets of soy sauce in a boxed sushi meal, or that the Japanese media has apparently nothing better to do than report on such a trivial matter.

Because:
a) Japanese men do not have hair on their legs/arms
b) foreigners do not have manners, speak loudly, do not care if they cause trouble anyone near them, do not take showers every day at least twice and are dumb as fuck.

anon 09:31 -> I’ve still never seen someone in france who don’t take a shower every day, and surprisingly women there are more often shaved (every..where) than in most countries i’ve been.
It’s rather funny to see a “dumb faggot” like you criticizing someone who are exactly the same.

@09:57: Invitation to what? You want a fight?
That is why you are a barbarian. Can’t you solve your problems with other means than picking up a fight? It would cause problem to other people there. It is called MEIWAKU, if you act like that then you are a barbarian, that is why all foreigners are thought to be barbarians, because of people like you.

You live in Japan, want an example? Just go to Roppongi. What do you see there? Barbarians all over, if you live in Tokyo then I am sure you know what I mean..

Jap faggot double posts like a bitch. Go fuck yourself than gather some spine and bitch some more. You got a fucking problem with other people, say it to their face when you get over there. Invitation is open on 5th corner of shinjuku. Get your bitching mouth over here or shut the fuck up.

“Because:
a) Japanese men do not have hair on their legs/arms
b) foreigners do not have manners, speak loudly, do not care if they cause trouble anyone near them, do not take showers every day at least twice and are dumb as fuck.”

Wow, you Japanese men sound like a bunch of fucking ultra faggots ! No wonder your women are constantly getting with foreigners ! They want to be fucked by men, not other women it seems 🙂

There is nothing wrong banning soy sauce and wasabi. Sponsor like McDonald and Coke obviously prefer no competition to their product. And they pay for the right. You go to London, the eat London culinary. Find the one that suit your taste.

meh, if a food needs ketchup to be good, and not just as an extra flavor, its not worth eating at all.

but here is a pro tip… if you ever need to disguise the taste of a food, and do not want any of it comeing through… go with A1 steak sause, it tastes great with amost any meat, works decently with rice, mushrooms and such, and if you cant stand the taste of something, slather it in A1 and you wont be happier…

A good cook aims to compliment the condiments that those eating their food are most likely to use. Approach food with a scientific viewpoint and you can come up with some bizarre but fun foods that taste amazing. A guy I went to college with had this recipe for steak that when eaten plain tasted like a really well cooked steak, but add ketchup and a couple spices activated that you wouldn’t taste without the ketchup. The steak was amazing with or without ketchup, but had a completely different appeal to it when splashed with ketchup.

Behold, ladies and gentlemen, the newest generation of anti-asian trolls! Straight out of the incubation tanks of Sankaku Laboratories, engineered to combat the hordes anti-westerner ones mass produced in China (or at least the few that managed to make their way here without exploding). Works to specifications so far, apart from the fact that no 2channer reads this site (or even if the do, they don’t understand a single word), so trolling them here is pointless…