Questions French people ask me… all the time!

Depending on how long you’ve been in France and who you socialize with, French people have probably asked you some strange questions. And a bunch of normal ones as well. Over and over. It comes with the territory! Keep in mind that French social norms tend to be less invasive and less small-talky than American ones, but still, questions abound! I love giving people a peek into who I am and what brought me to France, so let’s go!

Questions French people ask me

There are a bunch of questions that pretty much any foreigner anywhere gets asked and they include the following. I hear them at least once a week:

1. Where are you from?

I get asked this more in the summer when shopkeepers think I’m a tourist just passing through. Also, I feel like sometimes French people want to ask me this but restrain themselves (you know, those French social norms and all). The best is when people have no clue where I’m from. It makes me happy to know that my accent work with Tom has been paying off (even if I still botch grammar). My favorite is when people think I’m Belgian. Happened the other day actually. When people learn I’m American, their expression changes and it’s usually a good thing. Now the topic du jour is Trump. If they’ve visited the USA, they’ll tell me about their trips and are usually intrigued by some aspect of life in the USA. Great conversation starter! Then when they hear I’m from New York, their eyes widen and the next question is, “Oh, that’s so different from the small town you live in now, right? Why would you move HERE?!?”

Related questions: Why’d you move here? Do you like France or the USA better? How long are you staying here?

3. Do you miss the USA?

YES! I miss certain things more than others but the USA was my home for many, many years and will always be a part of who I am. I’m very fortunate that I visit the US often. I even experienced a little reverse culture shock. There are also many things I do NOT miss from the USA.

Related questions: Do you want to move back to the USA?

4. How long have you been living here?

I hit the 5-year mark at Christmas, and yup, time flies!

5. Do you have a gun?

Nope, I didn’t in the USA and I definitely do not have one in France. While many of my countrymen do have guns in the USA, including some of my family members, I was never one of them. In fact, I’ve never even fired a weapon and have no desire to. I usually explain to French people that it’s not super easy to acquire a weapon legally in many states, including NJ and NY where I used to live, and that not all Americans are gun-toting cowboys.

Related questions: Do you know my friend’s cousin Joe in NYC? Do you know celebrities? Did you vote for Trump? (NO!)

6. Is America really like how it is in the movies?

Yes and no. I always remind people that America is a big country with 50 states that can seem really different. Many French people get a feel for the USA via TV and movies so their impression of us is, well, skewed. No, we all don’t live in perfectly decorated mansions and have new cars and live life like Blair and Serena on Gossip Girl. On the flip side, TV and movies portray American culture quite accurately — big highways and yards, shopping malls, high school sports, college life, neighbors and potlucks, etc. I used to think it was silly that French people assumed the USA was exactly like what you see on TV but then I realized that Americans’ impressions of the rest of the world come from TV and movies too. Many Americans think Paris is a picture-perfect city where everyone is slim and well dressed and strolls around eating croissants all day without a care in the world. Not accurate!

Related questions: Is everyone fat? Are you rich?

Have you ever been asked a completely ridiculous question? Sometimes people realize they’re asking something borderline rude and other times they’re just curious. Sometimes we just don’t think before speaking and sometimes questions are the perfect way to break the ice. These questions aren’t limited to just the French by any means. I think we’re all familiar with ridiculous questions — as the person asking and the person being asked.

And what do kids ask?

Well, kids seem to be way more comfortable asking questions. Back in 2009 during my first stint in France as a teaching assistant, the kids I taught loved asking me questions. Their questions were largely based on stereotypes or things they’ve seen in movies

These were all questions directed my way:

Do you know famous people?

Isn’t Thanksgiving just an excuse for Americans to eat and get fatter? (from a teacher)

Do you always go to McDonald’s?

Do you live in Hollywood?

Have you been to Texas?

Fun, right? In all seriousness, I welcome the questions. The normal ones, the curious one, and even the rude ones. It’s an opportunity to educate.

At the end of the day, we all just want to connect with other people and get to know them a bit better. There’s never any shame in that. 😉

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What about you? What questions are you always asked as a foreigner living abroad?

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Comments

I get the “where are you from” and “why did you choose this little place” questions. But mostly I get statements: the vegetable vendor who has seen me every Saturday at the market for nearly 15 years and who still says “bon séjour!” assuming that I am on vacation. And people who, upon finding out I’m American, say things like, “you aren’t fat!” or “you speak French well” as if they expect all Americans to be fat and unable to speak foreign languages.They seem to have really low expectations for us.

I also am complimented on my accent sometimes when they learn I’m American (my accent is still terrible, so that’s saying something) or people who are surprised because, at a glance, I “look French” and not American. I’m told the “looking American” isn’t just about being fat, but wearing sloppy clothes, slouching and walking with bad posture as well – it’s a whole way of moving that’s different.

‘Do you have a gun’ made me laugh. The most ridiculous question I was ever asked was by an American adult who enquired, ‘Do you have nuts in England?’ I’m hoping that I might get asked a few questions in France this year….and that I’ll be able to answer!

As in the food (peanuts, hazelnuts, etc.) or a crazy person? Guess they were asking about food but what was the context of the convo before that question popped out? Seems totally random if that came out of nowhere. Weird!

Hah..yes I should have explained. It was in the 80’s in Howard Johnson’s with my American pen friend and her husband and I was waxing lyrical about the ice cream sundae I had ordered, you know the type, with nuts, hundreds and thousands, hot fudge sauce etc. (Nowadays this sort of dessert is commonplace in the UK but back then it wasn’t.) The husband couldn’t understand why I made such a big deal of it and thought perhaps it was because I hadn’t seen nuts before!!

Ah OK, that makes sense. Maybe it was a joke. I could see myself saying that to someone visiting from another state, like a friend visiting from out west if they made a big deal about something we had in NYC, like “Don’t they have xyz in Kansas??” Of course I know they do, but just as a joke. But who knows, maybe he was serious about his nuts (sounds bad sorry) question!

I get all of these questions too!!! Especially the ones about knowing my cousin Steve in Brooklyn. A lot of my students ask me how I come to school each week if I live in the United States… we like to tease them by saying that I take an airplane each morning 🙂 they’ve also wondered if we have Lucky Charms in the US, and one adorable boy asked me what the English for New York was. I did once have someone ask me, “oh did you celebrate that American holiday in November, where you eat chicken, and I think it’s related to the American Civil War??”

Haha, yea the kids all get a pass in my book since they’re kids and don’t really know how things work. Now that you mention it, I remember the kids thinking I lived in the US and came to France every day for work. No concept of distance… and they were about 10!

My wife and I met a French couple through mutual friends at a dinner in Bayonne last year. Neither of the couple spoke English and so they had never before met any Americans (we speak French).

The dinner was delightful and we enjoyed their company very much. At the end of the meal they confessed that they were surprised when they met us because…we’re not fat. We laughed and joked that we were surprised that they were not wearing berets and carrying baguettes.

Now this was interesting, I get that at times people must think you are a tourist and that all Americans are rich and live in big houses and see famous people all over the place not me I don’t think those things

Hahah, yes some parts of Africa are more modern than others so I can understand why they’d ask. Great opportunity to educate them nice and young about other parts of the world! Glad you liked the post!

I also get asked about why I’d want to live in a tiny French town, but my favorite is when they find out that I’m from Oregon (most don’t really know where it is) and when I say it is North of California, several have asked, “Oh! How do you feel about the weather here then? I mean, it’s really hot there right?”

Um, no. Oregon’s weather is not like California, not even in the high desert (with hot summers and snowy winters). People also seem to think that you can drive from Portland to San Francisco for the weekend (well, you could, but all you’d do is drive)! They don’t seem to have a sense for how truly large some of the states are.

Hi, I just discovered your blog and I really enjoyed discovering your point of you as an American living in France. Actually, I am living the opposite right now, I am French living in California since December 2015. I have been asking why I am living in the Bay Area while I could still be in Paris. Funny how people think, but most people are curious about our French lifestyle and of course our food 😉 It is a pleasure to read your article and I definitely will come back!

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I’m Diane

Bienvenue! I believe in… not rushing through the week just to get to the weekend. Letting your hair down. Being kind, always. Getting a good sweat on. Living in athleisure. Being comfortable but finding a way to push yourself. Getting excited about life’s simple pleasures. Drinking iced coffee when it’s cold out. Making time for your pet. Going after what you want. Taking risks. Treating yourself often. Traveling to places that intrigue you. Life is meant to be lived. Let’s keep moving forward.