Thursday, April 05, 2007

Maundy Thursday

Jesus wants you to claim the wealth you deserve. Jesus wants you to quit smoking.

Jesus wants you condemn queers. Jesus wants to bomb Iran. Jesus wants you to tithe often and in great amounts. Jesus wants you to support the expansion of the church to include a jacuzzi, media center and 12,000 seat auditorium. Jesus wants you to dance. Jesus wants you to stop dancing. Jesus wants you to tune into "Fox & Friends" every morning. Jesus wants you to only listen to my podcast. Jesus wants you to check the $100 box to defeat liberal candidates. Jesus wants you to stop snitching. Jesus wants you to loose 30 pounds. Jesus wants you to have that extra helping of potato salad. Jesus wants you to watch "Caddyshack" for the 75th time on HBO. Jesus wants you to obtain a concealed weapon permit. Jesus wants you to submit to your husband. Jesus wants you to forgive Rush Limbaugh for his drug addiction. Jesus wants you to have more children to offset the number of Hispanic and black babies being born. Jesus wants you to buy a stolen social security number and slip into the USA from Mexico so you can have more children. Jesus wants you to see Islam for the specious and barbarous "religion" it is. Jesus wants you to convert from Judiasm or else! Jesus wants you to stop bitchin' about gas prices and pay up and mock Al Gore. Jesus wants you to donate to Greenpeace. Jesus wants you to aim a shotgun at the Greenpeace boat. Jesus wants you to liberate animals. Jesus wants you to be buried with your jewelry in a $6000 casket as the choir sings His Eye is on the Sparrow with Cece Winans as guest soloist. Jesus wants you to marry a 17 year old girl as a new sister wife to the rest of your wives. Jesus wants you to disown your daughter for loving another woman. Jesus wants you to do what the Pope tells you. Jesus wants you to leave rehab. Jesus wants you to not to pay for those workers' health insurance, close that other plant so you can keep the stock prices high and improve those Third Quarter numbers so can get your bonus. Jesus wants you to forget your son's tuition and just g'head and buy that Hummer. Jesus wants you to kill in his name...

Interestingly, when I read about the agony, anguish and fear he suffered knowing he'd be nailed to a piece of wood and asphixiated, I recall him really only wanting is two things: Love your fellow man. Love God. Did he whisper any of this other bullcrap and I somehow didn't catch it?

P.S.: have you heard anything about Trisha Thomas's new book? When is the "Darker Mask" coming out? My brother is waiting impatiently. He is a 16 year old trapped in a 35 year old's body. But aren't all 35 year old men like that?!

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About Me

Jack of all trades, master of none; Professor, Georgetown University Journalism MPS; author of the Angela Bivens series of mystery novels, two anthologies, published short fiction and comic books, including a graphic anthology. Voyeur of media pundits; resident pundit on American Culture, race, media & politics for Russia Today. Contributor--MSNBC's the Grio and The Root.com. Movie lover. Proud Princeton booster. Bourbon drinker. Faculty: University of Maryland/UMUC. Married. Lovingly faithful, yet always pulling the flirts even though I am old, mean and out of shape. Must be my pheromones...

A rare DC native, Christopher Chambers was born at Old Freedman’s Hospital at Howard University in the Nation’s Capital, and was raised at 1607 D Street NE when RFK Stadium was still just a vacant lot. He moved to Brooklyn NY and finally Baltimore, Maryland. He attended public schools in Baltimore City and County before attending the McDonogh School in Owings Mills, MD.

Mr. Chambers is an honors graduate of Princeton University and the University of Baltimore School of Law, where he was the first African American in the Law Review. Mr. Chambers served with the US Justice Department from 1994-1997, and taught English, Business Law and Communications at Queens University in Charlotte from 2000-2001. Now he’s lecturer in writing at University of Maryland, University College, and a Professor at Georgetown University’s/SCS Master's Program in Journalism. Mr. Chambers led panels writing, politics/culture, andwas keynote at Georgetown University’s Father Healy Dinner along with NBA Star Dikembe Mtumbo.