Thursday, December 31, 2009

As this decade comes to a close I found myself thinking back on how life was at the beginning of this decade for me... I started out the decade at age twelve and finished it at age twenty-two. I remember being in love with the backstreet boys that year along with having a huge crush on the boy next door... He was my first real big crush, and now that I think back on it I think he was a good one to have a crush on. He is a good guy still. That was the year that my older sister had her first baby boy and I became an aunt. I remember those were the days that I enjoyed playing basketball.... knock-out, horse, whatever game had to do with shooting a ball through a hoop. For being so short I became pretty good at that game. It was also the last year I played softball. I was very sad to say goodbye to my catcher position, but I can see why my parents decided to take a break from it. I played in a town outside of Bloomington, but was about a twenty-five min. to thirty min. drive for my dad to make two to three times a week. I loved that place though. There were a lot of Saturdays spent at that ballpark during the Spring and beginning of Summer. I remember that was the year that my homeschool group grew a ton. At the beginning of the year it was only my family and two others, but by the end of it we had I think eight families join us. The kids that came into that group that year stayed my best friends pretty much all through high school. We were all pretty inseperable until college came along.I was hooked on reading Nancy Drew books when I was twelve. I still do enjoy reading suspense thrillers quite a bit.2000 was the year I rocked out to "Its My Life" by Bon Jovie and "Kryptonite" and was obsessed with Faith Hills song "Breath." I could quote almost all the veggie tales movies by heart along with lines from the movie "Remember the Titans." It was the year that the first R rated movie came out my parents let me watch, "The Patriot" for history class. It was also the year "Bring it On" came out, and after watching that movie my friends and I wished we were in high school so bad so we could be cheerleaders.... not the wisest thing for us to want, but the movie glamorized it a lot.It is so weird to me how fast this decade has gone by and I had a blast throughout it all! I wonder how much I will change at the end of the next decade... hmm.

10 . New In Town - starring Renee Zellwigger - A high-powered consultant in love with her upscale Miami lifestyle is sent to a middle of nowhere town in Minnesota to oversee the restructuring of a blue collar manufacturing plant. After enduring a frosty reception from the locals, icy roads and freezing weather, she warms up to the small town's charm, and eventually finds herself being accepted by the community. When she's ordered to close down the plant and put the entire community out of work, she's forced to reconsider her goals and priorities, and finds a way to save the town.

9. Year One - starring Jack Black and Michael Cera - Zed, a prehistoric would-be hunter, eats from a tree of forbidden fruit and is banished from his tribe, accompanied by Oh, a shy gatherer. On their travels, they meet Cain and Abel on a fateful day, stop Abraham from killing Isaac, become slaves, and reach the city of Sodom where their tribe is now enslaved. Zed and Oh are determined to rescue the women they love, Maya and Eema. Standing in their way is Sodom's high priest and the omnipresent Cain. Zed tries to form an alliance with Princess Innana, which may backfire. Can an inept hunter and a smart but slender and diffident gatherer become heroes and make a difference?

8. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs - starring Bill Hader (voice) - A scientist tries to solve world hunger only to see things go awry as food falls from the sky in abundance. Bill Hader will voice Flint Lockwood, a young inventor who dreams of creating something that will improve everyone's life. Anna Faris, who recently turned heads as the star of the comedy hit The House Bunny, takes on the role of Sam Sparks, a weathergirl covering the phenomenon who hides her intelligence behind a perky exterior. James Caan plays Tim Lockwood, Flint's technophobic father. Andy Samberg plays Brent, the town bully who has plagued Flint since childhood. Bruce Campbell plays Mayor Shelbourne, who figures out that Flint's invention can put the town, and more importantly himself, on the map. Mr. T plays the by-the-rules town cop Earl Devereaux, and Tracy Morgan takes on the role of Earl's rule-breaking son, Cal.

7. Knowing - starring Nicholas Cage - In 1958, as part of the dedication ceremony for a new elementary school, a group of students is asked to draw pictures to be stored in a time capsule. But one of the students, a mysterious girl who seems to hear whispered voices, fills her sheet of paper with rows of apparently random numbers instead. Fast forward 50 years to the present: A new generation of students examines the contents of the time capsule and the girl's cryptic message ends up in the hands of young Caleb Myles. But it is Caleb's father, professor Ted Myles (Nicolas Cage), who makes the startling discovery that the encoded message predicts with pinpoint accuracy the dates, death tolls and coordinates of every major disaster of the past 50 years. As Ted further unravels the document's secrets, he realizes it foretells three additional events-the last of which hints at destruction on a global scale and seems to somehow involve Ted and his son. When Ted's attempts to alert the authorities fall on deaf ears, he takes it upon himself to try to prevent more destruction from taking place. This gripping supernatural thriller charts one man's faltering steps towards belief in the ultimate order of the universe even as he finds himself surrounded by mounting chaos. With the reluctant help of Diana Whelan (Rose Byrne) and Abby, the daughter and granddaughter of the now-deceased author of the cryptic prophecies, Ted's increasingly desperate efforts take him on a heart-pounding race against time until he finds himself facing the ultimate disaster-and the ultimate sacrifice.

6. Love Happens - starring Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston - Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston star in the romantic drama "Love Happens." When a self-help author arrives in Seattle to teach a sold-out seminar, he unexpectedly meets the one person who might finally be able to help him help himself. Dr. Burke Ryan (Eckhart) is on the precipice of a major multimedia deal, but the therapist who asks his patients to openly confront their pain is secretly unable to take his own advice. Eloise Chandler (Aniston) has sworn off men and decided to focus on her floral business. However, when she meets Burke at the hotel where he's speaking, there is an instant attraction. But will two people who have met the right person at exactly the wrong time be able to give love another chance? As each struggles with the hurt of love and loss, they realize that in order to move forward, they need to let go of the past. And if they can, they'll find that, sometimes, love happens when you least expect it.

5. The Ugly Truth - starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler - In Sacramento, Abby Richter produces a morning news show that's about to be canceled. To boost ratings, her boss hires Mike Chadway, a local cable call-in host who promotes the ugly truth: sex is the only glue in a relationship, men can't change, and they only respond to women's looks. Mike offends Abby's sensibility: she has a checklist about the perfect man, and she's found him in her new neighbor, Colin, a hunky doctor. Mike offers to help her reel in Colin if she'll work with Mike on the show; she accepts the deal, ratings go up, and, with Mike's help, so does Colin's interest in her. Craig Ferguson, a hot air balloon, and the ugly truth help this take on "Cyrano" play out.

4. He's Just Not That Into You - starring Ben Afleck, Jennifer Aniston, Drue Barrymore, Jennifer Connolly, Justin Long, Scarlett Johansson, Gennifer Goodwin,Kevin Connolly, and Bradly Cooper - In Baltimore, five women and four men try to sort out the signals that the sexes exchange. Gigi imagines every man she meets is Mr. Right; she gets reality checks from Alex, a sweet but cynical saloon keeper. Janine and Ben seem solidly married until he chats with Anna in a market checkout line; meanwhile Anna is indifferent to the pursing Connor. Neil and Beth have been together seven years; she dumps him when she realizes he really and truly isn't going to marry her. Does he love her? And Mary sells advertising while searching on line for a man. Will those in love stay in love? Will those searching figure out who is and who isn't into them? Are men all that different from women?

3. Law Abiding Citizen - starring Jamie Foxx and Gerard Butler - The plot focuses on a man who, ten years after his wife and daughter are brutally murdered, returns to extract justice from the assistant district attorney who prosecuted the case against their killers. His vengeance threatens not only the man who allowed mercy to supersede justice, but also the system and the city that made it so.

2. The Time Traveler's Wife - starring Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams - Clare has been in love with Henry her entire life. She believes they are destined to be together, even though she never knows when they will be separated: Henry is a time traveler--cursed with a rare genetic anomaly that causes him to live his life on a shifting timeline, skipping back and forth through his lifespan with no control. Despite the fact that Henry's travels force them apart with no warning, Clare desperately tries to build a life with her one true love.

1. The Blindside - starring Sandra Bullock - "The Blind Side" depicts the story of Michael Oher, a homeless African-American youngster from a broken home, taken in by the Touhys, a well-to-do white family who help him fulfill his potential. At the same time, Oher's presence in the Touhys' lives leads them to some insightful self-discoveries of their own. Living in his new environment, the teen faces a completely different set of challenges to overcome. As a football player and student, Oher works hard and, with the help of his coaches and adopted family, becomes an All-American offensive left tackle.

Tonight I went to daily Mass. The gospel was about the story of when Mary and Joseph brought baby Jesus to the temple and how the elderly man, Simeon recognized that Jesus was the savior he had been waiting for.

During the homily the priest asked us how we see Jesus in our daily lives. I thought about that question a little bit and realized that there are many people I see Jesus in. For example; when I am feeling a little frustrated at work and one of the kids will come up to me and say "I love you." I see Jesus in them at that moment and I love it... Or when I am having an awful day and a friend of mine looks at me, gives me a hug, and then tells me to tell them what's wrong and then they listen without judging... I see Jesus in them at that moment. Or when my oldest nephew helps take care of his younger brothers because he knows his mother is exhausted after working on her feet all day. I see Jesus in him. I realized again that I see Jesus a lot, but I do not recognize it always. That seems to be a theme in my life lately. I need to slow down and recognize little things from God more often then I do to really appreciate how He helps me in my day to day life.

The second part of his homily was about how we help others see Jesus through our own actions... It's a give and take thing, just like in every other aspect of my faith. I really enjoyed this priests homily today. I needed to hear it very much!

This was a fun application for facebook to have. I enjoyed looking back on all the random stuff I posted. It showed me all of the status' I put up over this past year so I could choose the one's I didn't want it to randomly put on the collage. It was fun to look at.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Lately I have really gotten into the newer country group, Lady Antebellum. I own one of their cds and I decided to listen to it today. When the song below, "I Run to You" started playing it hit me that this is another song I can easily associate with my relationship with God. Sometimes my life is so hectic with all the things I have had to do this year, and still have left to do. There are days when I would wake up and be so surprised with what month I was in because everything has been moving so fast. There has been one crazy thing after another that has happened with my life this fall... back in September being told that next year I might not have a job due to some organizational things happening with the pre-school program and the daycare program combining to later in October being told that no one is sure of anything and if something does happen it won't happen for a few years... That was a little stressful, it still is on the back of most of us teacher's minds... Novemeber there was some family drama I had to deal with. Then this month began with my car getting towed, my car mirror breaking off... some minor money issues, nothing too huge though. Finals week was stressful... and as I listened to this song and thought of all the stuff I had dealt with and realized that through it all my main man I go and talk it all through is God. He is the one I talked through everything with. When my life is going good I talk to Him, but I always feel more grateful that He is there for me when I need Him most. He hasn't let me down yet! :)

I Run To YouLady Antebellum

I run from hateI run from prejudiceI run from pessimistsBut I run too lateI run my lifeOr is it running me?Run from my pastI run too fastOr too slow it seemsWhen lies become the truthThat's when I run to you

This world keeps spinning fasterTo a new disaster, so I run to youI run to you, BabyWhen it all starts coming undoneBaby, you're the only one I run toI run to you

We run on fumesYour life and mineLike the sands of timeSlippin' right on throughOur love's the only truthThat's why I run to you

This world keeps spinning fasterTo a new disaster, so I run to youI run to you, BabyWhen it all starts coming undoneBaby, you're the only one I run toI run to youOh oh, oh I run to you

The picture above is of my older brother before he died... I know I have mentioned him in past entries and if you are interested in reading about him you can click on here. Well as I mentioned in that particular post one of the songs we always associate with my brother is the song, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." It seems as though every time we have a special celebration going on this song will randomly come on whether it is over a t.v. commercial, or on American Idol when a singer chooses to sing it, or when The Wizard of Oz randomly plays on t.v.... it always seems to happen. The reason why it is so special to us and we think of David every time it plays is because one of his stuffed animals had a music box that would play the tune of that song, and when he died the music box was playing in the background....

Anyway, yesterday I was at home with my mom just relaxing and taking it easy. I was reading the newest Nicholas Sparks book (which is a bit of a tear jerker) while laying on my living room couch. I was really getting into the book when my mother came in with a box filled with newspaper clippings and all sorts of pictures from fund raisers that went on for my brother. She said she was cleaning her room when she bumped into it and decided she wanted to look through it. I always knew the story about my brother, but being able to look through all the news coverage about my brother was really interesting for me. There was even one letter to the editor that a little girl wrote about how unfair it was that my brother had to pay for his liver transplant while an older man got something done to his heart for free... It was nice to look through it all, because for me, that is all I really have as a connection with him since he died before I was born. I don't have stories or memories of my own to go by. I have to go by stories from older family members and the old newspaper clippings and the videos my grandpa took of some of the fundraisers... it was a nice time with my mother and I.

Well today my mom and I were both sitting here in the living room kind of glum about how the Colts game ended up. I was watching Bones and my mom was messing around facebook. I decided to see what else was on tv during a commercial break and I flipped through the stations on the tv when I hit one channel, and what was playing on this channel? The movie, "The Wizard of Oz," and at what moment did catch the movie on? Right at the few moments before Judy Garland starts singing the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." I looked at my mom and I said mom do you hear this? She stopped and said, "Yeah, Somewhere Over the Rainbow... Why?" then I looked at her and asked, "And what were we going through yesterday, just the two of us?" And at that moment it hit her. We were both speechless for the time she was singing. About five minutes later my nephews came in through the door. It just amazes me that it was just my mother and I looking through all that stuff, and it was just my mother and I that heard that song. I knew right then that it was him saying, "Hey! I know you were missing me, so I thought I would just remind you I am here." It was another cool "David" moment, as I like to call them. :)

Saturday, December 26, 2009

I found this article very interesting... enjoy! It is a little lengthy I suppose, but I found it worth the time to read.

Chastity and Friendship

Chastity is able to blossom when friendship is present. Friendship is a great good that leads to spiritual communion (CCC 2347). Friendship is something that continues forever, just as chastity is a promise of immortality. Friendship is essential in good relationships, and especially in marriage. Jesus called us friends because he made known to us everything that he heard from his father (John 15:15). Sharing, intimacy, and trust are ingredients of a true friendship. Friendship extends further than the sharing of common pursuits. In this article, Augustine’s views on Christian friendship are reflected upon.

Augustine believed that Christian friendship was “rightly and with just reverence defined as ‘agreement on things human and divine combined with good will and love’” (contra acad II, VI, 13). A prerequisite for friendship is that people must be friends with themselves. He also said if they do not love God they are their own enemies and incapable of friendship (Ep 258). He saw friendship as sympathy for one who is aspiring toward God, something which continues and helps him to grow in the love of God (Sol. 7, 20, 22).

Friendship is active and progresses, becoming more perfect as friends draw nearer to God. Its fruitfulness is the measure of intensity (Sol. 1, 22). So Augustine arrived at a clear understanding of Christian friendship – it is a union between persons who, loving God with their whole hearts, souls and minds, and loving each other as themselves, are joined for all eternity to each other and to Christ himself.

God is the author and provider of Christian friendship. “There is no true friendship unless you weld it between souls that cleave together” (Conf. IV, 7). Friendship must be stabilized in God. “If souls please you, then love them in God, because they are mutable in themselves but in Him firmly established; without him they pass and perish.” (Conf. IV, 18). God is a part of Christian friendship because “he loves his friend truly who loves God in him, either because God is in him or in order that he may be in him.” (Serm 336, 1). True Christian friendship is transformed by grace. It also exceeds human limitation (Ep. 250, 3). Friendship will find perfection in heaven, “Peace exists… for all who love each other in this life and are joined by the bonds of a faithful friendship.” (Ep. 249, 1).

St. Augustine believed that love should be active in a friendship. He wanted God to be the real object of a man’s love for his friend, as all holy love seeks God in man. Augustine did not want friendship to revolve around loving someone for oneself. He wanted men to have a creative love that sees men not for what they are but for what they might become. God is the end as He is the beginning of all true friendship. When we see Christ in other people we are aware of their innate goodness and that they are created in God’s image.

Confidence is an essential element in a well developed friendship. During this stage it is possible to confide intimate thoughts to him, knowing that they will be held as sacred (De div. quaes. 83). Augustine saw confidence as homage to the presence of God who dwells in a friend. It is not necessary to fear human weakness in this stage, for it is in God that one places confidence (Ep 73, 10).

Frankness is another key part of a truly solid friendship. Augustine wrote to Jerome, “Let us resolve to maintain between ourselves, the liberty as well as the charity of friendship, so that in the letters we exchange, neither of us shall be restrained from frankly stating to the other whatever troubles him.” (Ep 82, 36). Sometimes telling the truth requires considerable courage. Frankness can involve hurting people, but in a good friendship this might even strengthen the friendship. To be a true friend one must be willing to sacrifice the convenience of being agreeable for the good of a friend’s soul. It can be a sacrifice to wound the friend we know for his sake. But this sacrifice can be made out of love for God who is truth and is the “love that chastises” (Ep 93, 4-5). Fraternal correction should always happen without bitterness or harshness but with gentle understanding.

Prayer is more powerful than anything we can say or do to a friend. Good Christian friends know that they want good things for each other, and that God is the greatest good. They do all things possible to bring each other closer to Him. Augustine says, “Prayer is a necessity in friendship, for we cannot of ourselves bring another to God. We ought to ask him unceasingly to fill our hearts and those of our friends with His love.” (Ep 145, 7).

Augustine believed that only Christians who lived their faith were capable of perfect friendship. He advised that one should look for a friend among such persons and pray to God to send him one (De cat. Rudibus xxv). When one finds a man one wishes to have as a friend, he should make his love known. This is because there is no better incentive to love than to realize that one is already loved (De cat. Rudibus IV, 7). Later on in a friendship, friends should be aware of their duties towards each other and also understanding of their limitations. If a person sees that two of his friends are in disagreement, he should not abandon one so as to remain a friend with the other, but should try to restore peace between them (Serm. XLIX).

Augustine did not believe that physical separation of friends reduced the union among them. The object of friendship in the mind of a friend, lived in one’s own mind. Sharing in the same love of God, friends are never far from each other. Temporary or permanent separation (in the case of death) does not destroy a friendship (Ep 9,1). Friendship should never be terminated for slight reasons. When problems occur that lessen the warmth of friendship, one should accept every means to dispel them and restore the former depth of the friendship. But the termination of a friendship is justified if serious conditions change. For example, should a friend encourage another to renounce their faith it would be acceptable to finish the friendship.

As friendship is rooted in Christian love, it should not be confined to a small circle of people. Friendship should be shared with all those whom love and affection are due. Augustine spoke about the love of enemies, whom we are asked to pray for by Christ himself. He believed we must love our enemies in order to make them friends. “They will become friends when they abandon their evil ways.” (Serm LVI, X14). The real unity of Christians with Christ is founded on love. This is as “Christ has loved us that we may love one another; the effect of his love for us is so to bind us to one another in mutual love that we become the mutual body of which he is the head, his members linked together in that lovely bondage.” (In Ev. Jo. LXV, 2).

I am grateful to Patrick Paul M. de Castro for providing the quotes from St Augustine for this article.

Friday, December 25, 2009

The presents have been opened, the wrapping paper has been picked up, the anticipation of waiting to find out what was wrapped up under the tree is now long gone, and as I sit here typing this blog entry and thinking about my own Christmas today, I can not help but think how I really did not care so much about presents this year. I think that is a sign that I am getting older. Do not get me wrong, I mean I do enjoy opening presents, but it was not as much fun for me this year as in past years. As I sit here thinking about what my favorite part of my Christmas celebration was this year, without a doubt I have to say that it was attending Midnight Mass last night. That was the only time I really felt the joy of Christmas. I think that my family, or at least some members of my family, have forgotten how Christmas is about Jesus, and not about material things.

I was a little sad last night though because my younger brother refused to attend Midnight Mass with the rest of the family... he was just to tired. I missed having him there with us, but as my dad always says, you can lead the horse to water, but you can not make it drink it... I have to remember that because if I think to much about how a lot of my family takes their faith for granted and does not really appreciate it as much then it will make me go mad. I also have to remember that with my brother you can not tell him to do something. No. That is not how he works. If you ask him to do something or tell him to do it he usually will not listen. It works much better if you find ways to trick him into thinking it was his idea in the first place, which I am pretty good at half of the time. I am too impatient for it to work the other half... So instead of attending Midnight Mass, he woke up and went this morning...

While my dad and brother were at Mass this morning, my mom turned on E.W.T.N. and Mother Angelica was on. She was asking people to call in with ideas on how different families keep Jesus at the center of Christmas. One woman called and said that her family always wakes up and prays a rosary before they begin to open presents. I remember as a kid that my parents would have us all wait in their room and then we would sing "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" with a candle lit as one of us kids took turns placing baby Jesus in the manger scene before we opened up presents... Funny thing is how I just realized that since my brother and father were gone this morning we did not do our normal little tradition. I wonder if not starting our Christmas morning that way is what threw this particular Christmas off for me...My sister is now waiting for me to play her in a rematch of Rummy (I won this morning... my sister is kind of a sore loser that way...) so wish me luck!Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

"We all get at least one good wish a year. Over the candles on our birthday. Some of us throw in more. On eyelashes, fountains, lucky stars, and every now and then, one of those wishes comes true. So what then? Is it is as good as we'd hoped? Do we bask in the warm glow of our happiness? Or, do we just notice we've got a long list of other wishes waiting to be wished? We don't wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help and we're scared and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish, though, because sometimes they come true."~Dr. Meredith Grey~Grey's Anatomy

This quote is so true. I know that this quote is talking about wishes, but it can easily be said about prayers as well. I consider wishes a kind of prayer myself anyway.... This quote makes me really ponder on all the answered prayers God has given. There are so many things I have asked God for... silly things, important things, really serious things, helpful things; so forth and so on. In a given day I am sure I have asked God to give me something, whether it be patience, or a break from everyday trials, or to help me with finals week... and yet sadly I do not always realize that God answers my prayers at the time He answers them because I already have another petition for him lined up in my mind. The quote above has helped me to really try to become more aware of all the blessings that God has given to me, and it has made me think of reflecting on that more often... so whether that is what the writers were trying to convey when they thought up that line, that is what it has ended up doing for me....

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I am created to do something or to be something for which no one else is created; I have a place in God's world which no one else has. God knows me and calls me by my name. God has created me to do Him some definite service; God has committed some work to me which is not committed to another. I have my mission. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. God has not created me for nothing. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. My sickness, or perplexity, or sorrow may be necessary causes of some great end, which is quite beyond us. God does nothing in vain. O my God, I give myself to You wholly. You are wiser than I am -- more loving to me than I am to myself. Fulfill Your purposes in me whatever they be; work in and through me. I am born to serve You, to be Yours. Let me be Your instrument. Amen

Some of my favorite things... I made this list up today during nap time. For the first time I had no homework to worry about or other tasks that needed to be done for my job... needless to say I got a little bored trying to stay awake, so I started thinking about my very favorite things that always make me smile so here it is....

Monday, December 21, 2009

In my family I have somehow been labelled the "good kid" the "perfect daughter" and other things similar to that, and I have to say deep down I cannot stand being told that. All my siblings seem to think that I strive to be my parent's favorite kid, but the truth is I don't work for that.I think it is because that I happen to be the daughter that does cause my siblings to think about some of their actions before they do them, and I do not think that they always like me for it, but after awhile they will come and tell me they appreciate me for giving them my honest opinion. I just don't want them to get themselves into trouble, and yet I know they have to make their own mistakes too... I don't consider that me trying to be a "perfect" kid in any way. It's just me trying to be a good sister.

The person that I am, and the person that I always strive to be, is someone who loves my faith and all that it means to be Catholic. I work hard to be someone people can trust. Someone they can come to if they have found themselves in a hard place. Someone that will give an honest opinion about a situation, even if it is not always the most popular opinion. I want to be known as a person who knows how to stand up for what they believe in. Someone who can help brighten up a person's day when they are feeling kinda down. I aim to be a good student and someone that does not always get into trouble. I try to set a good and positive example for the younger people around me who I take care of at work, and help mentor in confirmation classes, along with those people I think of as my adopted younger "siblings." I try to think about how my actions will affect those around me, and if I know that it will cause real pain to a person that I love dearly then I will not do it. None of this is because I want to be thought of as better then my siblings. I aim to do this because being this kind of person makes me happy. I enjoy being there for my friends and family... my aim was never to do this in hopes that I would be a "favorite" or to set some incredibly high standard for people to reach... because I still feel as though I am far from perfect....

Sometimes being the shoulder to cry on for everyone gets tiring. There are times when it just gets to overwhelming, and at those times I do have to just take a step back and take a break. I also realize that sometimes I place high expectations for some people, and when something happens and those people don't meet those expectations I get thrown for a loop, and I am reminded that everyone should not be held to the expectations I have for them. It is not fair to them, and it is not right for me to think I can do that... I have to remember that everyone is "Made entirely of flaws stiched together with perfectly good intentions." I always seem to second guess myself about choices I have made or am in the process of making. I can sometimes talk over people when we are in a group and I am sure people find that really annoying, and I can't explain why I do that, I just do. I procrastinate all the time. I can be very selfish when it comes to spending time with people, and I have to fight being that way all the time... ofcourse these are just some of the annoying habbits... I am sure there are more....

So as you can tell I am not a perfect person... no one is... but we should all strive to do the best we can so when we leave this world, hopefully it will be a better place then when we entered it.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Fight fear as you would fight a plague. Fight it in My Name. . . . Fear, even the smallest fear, is the hacking at the cords of Love that bind you to Me.However small the impression, in time those cords will wear thin, and then one disappointment, or shock, and they snap. But for the little fears the cords of Love would have held.

Fight fear.

Depression is a state the fear. Fight that too. Fight. Fight. Depression is the impression left by fear. Fight and conquer, and oh! for Love of Me, for the sake of My tender, never-failing Love of you, fight and love and win.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

"The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you're not worth the truth."~Unknown~

To me the worst thing that a friend could do is lie to me with a straight face. Just like the quote above says, the worst thing about being lied to is knowing that you were not worth the truth. I do not get lied to very often, thankfully, but when it does happen it is not a good feeling to find out. What is worse is when I find out from other friends that I was lied to. It's one of the worst feelings. I think that the most important part of a relationship, any relationship, romantic or friendly, has to have a strong foundation of trust to it. There has to be for people to feel comfortable opening up to one another and letting their inner thoughts and feelings out. When you think you are so close to someone, and trust them completely, and then find out that they have been lying to your face for the past few months, well it leaves a person confused and hurt as to why they could not have told you the truth to begin with... I am pretty good at letting things stay in the past once I have made up with a friend... I usually forgive and forget really easily... I don't like holding grudges, but it is hard for me to trust someone who has lied about something huge... I am not talking about little things, but big ones. I guess it is because I am such a loyal person and if someone wants to ask me something personal and important, I will tell them the honest truth. That's just how I am, and in the back of my mind I always thought that if I work hard to be that kind of friend then I would get that back in return... I guess in a lot of ways I wear my heart on my sleeve, and so when someone does lie it just takes me back...It sucks big time. It damages the relationship, and once it happens in the back of my mind I wonder if what they tell me is really true, and then I feel like I am judging that person and I feel worse then before...So how do I salvage a relationship after that trust is broken? I mean how do I learn to trust that that person won't go and do the same thing again. The fuzzy line that is put there after someone breaks that trust is my own fault because I mentally put there, so how do I get rid of it? It is one of those things that I have a feeling will always be something that I will have to struggle with I suppose....

My older sister is going to be having another baby boy. He is due next month. I cannot wait for the day he is born. I have three nephews now, and this new one will make four. I am so excited about this new little one, especially because my older sister asked me to be his godmother and I excitedly said yes without thinking twice. I already happen to have a goddaughter...Noel. She is such a cutie. I was asked to be her goddaughter a little after I was confirmed, and at the time I was not as into my faith as I am now, so I didn't really think much about the role godparents play in the child's life other then birthday/christmas presents, and praying for them... I decided I would look a little more into the whole godparent thing this time to make sure I do an even better job in the early years of my godson's life then I probably did with my goddaughter's... here is an interesting article about the role of a godparent if anyone is interested....

For GodParents

If you have been chosen to be a Godparent, congratulations!The parents see in you a profound faith commitment, find trust and know you are someone who will care about them and their faith.Sounds impressive, doesn’t it?It’s not all that complicated, but it does take time, a caring heart and a listening ear.If you’re a practicing, mature Catholic, don’t get too worried.

Being a Godparent is a sacred vocation – a calling, an appeal to live something out in your life. These parents are calling you to be something special for their child: to set an example, help teach their child about the Catholic faith, have a lifelong relationship of prayer, faith sharing and love. Before accepting this invitation, take some time to pray and reflect on your ability to do this.

You should ask, "Can I share my faith unashamedly? Will distance or other obligations prevent me from getting to know my godchild? Am I an active member of my local Catholic parish?" If you are from another parish, you'll probably be asked for a letter from your home parish attesting to your active faith in the Church. Here are a few helpful hints to assist you in being the best godparent that you can be:

Prepare with the parents. The parents have been required to attend a Baptism preparation class to reflect on many of the things mentioned in this article. We ask that you and the parents share the information from that evening! Your willingness to be with the parents at this time says a lot about your willingness to be present to your godchild in the future.

Be there on the "big day:" Be available for the Baptism ceremony. This may even mean missing less important events. Besides saying, "We are," when the priest asks if you are ready to assist the parents in raising the child in the practice of the faith, you will have the opportunity to clothe the child in the white baptismal garment, and to light the baptismal candle. Take seriously the profound yet beautiful words: "Parents and Godparents, this light has been entrusted to you to be kept burning brightly." Later at a family party, you could make a toast or say a meaningful prayer for your Godchild and your role in his or her life.

Don't forget the "big day"! Hopefully you will always remember your Godchild's biological birthday, but don't forget this "birthday" into the Body of Christ. Make a phone call or send a card. Better yet, suggest having a get-together to honor this day each year. Bring out and light the baptismal candle, recalling the Light of Christ burning in the heart and soul of your Godchild. Or, create a photo album to be shared with your Godchild when he or she gets older.

Be a living model of faith.At least a part of what these parents admire in you is your faith!If the way you practice your faith is not what it should, “get it together,” so to speak!If you honestly can’t, this is understandable, but maybe you should decline the invitation to be a Godparent.Your life doesn’t have to become artificially saintly, but your faith should be authentic and sincere.

Pray for your godchild. Keep your Godchild in your daily prayers. The constant prayer of Godparents never hurt anyone! On occasion, take time to celebrate Eucharist or other religious ceremonies together, for it is, after all, the source and summit of our faith lives.

Share the faith that's been shared with you. When your Godchild is young, introduce him or her to a children's edition of the Bible; give them a rosary; find appropriate spiritual books or prayers. Teach about his or her patron or name saint. Attend and offer encouragement at the child's first Communion or share your own faith story as our Godchild approaches Confirmation. Continue your lifelong relationship by participating in other religious ceremonies. Remember, being a Godparent is about more than an infant Baptism ceremony!

Give of your time and share your gift.As the child gets older you may want to spend time together on various activities.This may mean being a prayer buddy or working on a Christian service project.You could also share your own experiences.Let your unique God-given talents and gifts shine!

Write a letter of encouragement to your Godchild to be opened years from now.Tell him/her the hopes you have for him/her.Share with the Godchild times you’ve personally experienced God at work in your life.

Today I watched the movie, "Keeping the Faith" which stars Ben Stiller. It is all about a very interesting love triangle... Ben plays a rabbi and his best friend happens to be a Catholic priest. The men seem to be very happy with their path that they have chosen until their old friend from middle school, Anna, shows back up into their lives... There was one quote from this movie that really made me think....

The seven deadly sins. Who can name the seven deadly sins? People! It was a very popular film with Brad Pitt, you have the ultimate cliff note.The truth is, I don't really learn that much about your faith by asking questions like that... because those aren't really questions about faith, those are questions about religion. And it's very important to understand the difference between religion and faith. Because faith is not about having the right answers. Faith is a feeling. Faith is a hunch, really. It's a hunch that there is something bigger connecting it all... connecting us all together. And that feeling, that hunch, is God. And coming here tonight, on your Sunday evening... to connect with that feeling, that is an act of faith. And so all I have to do is look around the room at this packed church... to know that we're doing pretty well as a community. Even if all of you failed my pop quiz miserably.~Keeping the Faith~

I think that what the priest in this movie was saying is true. Asking people questions about facts on their religion does not really show much about how fully that person believes in his/her faith. People can look up facts about religions, but just because they may know the answer to questions like "What are the seven deadly sins?" does not mean the believe the answer. To know how much a person believes in what their religion stands for, say Catholicism, for example, you have to watch how involved the person is with their faith... It is like those "Catholics" who come to Mass maybe once a year for Christmas or Easter. These people know deep down that they should be at church every week, but the fact that they only make time for Mass once a year tells me a lot more about their faith life then the facts that they can tell me...

So if you are looking for an interesting movie while bored, this one was actually pretty good... not to mention pretty entertaining to...

Again some more stories from work that I love... hope you get a laugh out of them too!

-----------------------------------------Today, during circle time, I was reading the book "If You Give A Pig A Pancake" and in the story the pig decides she want to build a tree house...

Dash: Pigs don't build tree houses! Mens do that.-----------------------------------------Chelsie: Hey, Grady. I saved this swing for you!Grady: Thanks, Chelsie... You know, if you ever have a monster in your closet I will kill it for you by kicking it in the neck because you saved me a swing.

(A little violent for Grady... but still it was too funny why he said it... being brave by fighting monsters....)-------------------------------------------While it was sprinkling outside this morning....

Jack Seyer: Miss Emily, I wish I had windshield wipers for my eyes so they could go (with his fingers pointing back and forth...) swish swish swish swish, and then my eyes could stay dry from the rain.-------------------------------------------Krystal: Hey Chelsie, how old are you? 5?

Chelsie: No! I'm 4 AND 5.

Me: How can you be 4 and 5 at the same time, Chelsie? I don't think that's how it works... sadly.

Chelsie: (while shaking her head up and down very fast) Uh huh! My mommy took a picture of me when I was 4 and that's how!-------------------------------------------There was a dispute on the playground today over name calling....

Me: Cal, why are you crying?Callum: Because they keep saying I'm an alien.Me: Aww... you're not an alien, Cal...Callum: I, I, I, I, I, kept telling them that I, and not an al, al, alien. *sniffs*, but they wouldn't st st stop.Me: Well let's just go over there and have a talk with them, Cal. You tell them you are not an alien, ok?Cal: Ok, Miss Resa.Once we gathered the "name callers" together....Me: Alright Cal, go for it, babe.Callum: I am not an alien guys.... I am just plain Callum!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

If Thou Must Love Me, Let It Be For Naughtby Elizabeth Barrott Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for noughtExcept for love's sake only. Do not say"I love her for her smile her look her wayOf speaking gently, for a trick of thoughtThat falls in well with mine, and certes broughtA sense of ease on such a day"For these things in themselves, Beloved, mayBe changed, or change for thee, and love, so wrought,May be unwrought so. Neither love me forThine own dear pity's wiping my cheek dry,A creature might forget to weep, who boreThy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!But love me for love's sake, that evermoreThou may'st love on, through love's eternity.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I can't seem to concentrate on studying at the moment. I have been at it for a few hours now and needed a quick break before going back and hitting the books... my brain hurts from all the studying I've been doing the past few days... so I decided to write a quick blog...

The past few days I have been thinking a lot about how the media portrays what "beautiful" people are supposed to look like versus how beauty should really be measured by. You look everywhere and for women it is no wonder we are always complaining about how we look... sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in what victoria secrets models look like and so forth and so on that we tend to forget just how fake the commercials and magazine pictures are... People do not even look like that at all. People place the bar so high on "beauty" that no one, not even the models that they photograph, can reach it. The pictures are always digitally redone... it is kinda crazy.... I found this video below that shows just how fake advertising is for women... not only women, but for men also. It all is just fake and then makes everyone put themselves down... focus on the "bad" parts of how we look then the most important parts that make up who we are...

Knowing how fake it all is... we have to remember that truly does come from the inside. It is not something that I can explain per say. I think that beauty has to first begin with believing that your are beautiful. Once you believe that then you start to act in ways that add to your already natural beauty... A friend once said that he didn't understand why girls say thank-you when they are told they are beautiful... because being beautiful is just a fact of life. God made each and every person, and He did not make one ugly person... He made us in His image, and if we are made in His image then it is really a fact that we are all beautiful, no matter what the media tries to tell us... So yeah. That's where my mind has been the past few days... So now back to the books....

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Today was a mixture of work and pleasure for me... Today I spent half of the studying and preparing myself for finals week and the other half spending time with the family. Today we celebrated my little sister's twentieth birthday and my nephew's seventh birthday with a family get together... My little sister's birthday is actually tomorrow, and my nephew's was last week, but since he spent it with his father we waited to celebrate both of them together.One of my favorite family traditions is when we get our Christmas tree... every year Crista has always made sure that the Christmas tree would be put up the week-end before her birthday, which happened to fall on this week-end... yesterday my dad and sister went and picked it out, that is their little father daughter thing they do every year.... and today he and my sister's boyfriend brought it inside to decorate. We always have Christmas carols playing and hot chocolate being made. My dad and I always put the lights up together. It is always funny to me to watch him fret over untangling the lights and making sure no one steps and breaks them... I have always been the "light" helper since I was about eight I believe. I stand their and make sure the lights don't get tangled up as he is placing them in the tree... after that he then climbs up to our attic to bring down the Christmas tree decorations.I always enjoy putting the ornaments on the tree... there are certain ones that will always be special to me. You see, every year since my younger sister was born my dad handmade us all our own special ornaments. He buys special wood and then uses his table saw to cut them out and then he paints them with special oil paints. I always laugh because most of them he always places a cross or rosary in the design... it's like his little trademark. He also paints our names and the year. He has made me a santa clause one, frosty the snowman, a manger scene, angel, shepherd, so forth and so on. I love them dearly and always get excited to see which new design he comes up with for my annual ornament.After the tree gets decorated he always pulls out egg nog and then makes a toast... it's traditions like these that I love to do with my family. Now that the house smells like pine and the tree is here I finally am really and truly feeling like it is Christmastime.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

As I mentioned in my last post, my Bible study group has just finished studying the book of Exodus... I found this little graph that shows the typology between Moses and Jesus if anyone is interested in reading it....

MOSES

JESUS

An evil king/Pharaoh tried to kill him as a baby: Exodus 1:22

King Herod tried to kill baby Jesus: Matthew 2:16

He was hidden from the evil king/Pharaoh: Exodus 2:2

An angel said to hide the child from the evil King Herod: Matthew 2:13

It is always fun to have a group of friends over for dinner... That is the plan for my evening... My Bible study group has just finished studying all about the Exodus and decided that for this week since finals week is this coming week, we would do something a little silly and fun. I invited everyone over for a delicious dinner and then we'll watch "The Prince of Egypt." I have spent my morning cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, living room, my car, and my room for the seven people coming over...In just a little while I will begin making dinner. The menu will be baked ziti, garlic bread, a salad, and for desert a friend is bringing over cheese cake and people could also choose to have a root beer float too.... I didn't realize my friend was bringing over cheese cake until this morning, so we have a lot of vanilla ice cream and root beer extra. Hopefully someone will want one of those, but I don't think anyone would choose that over cheese cake.. well except for me... I've had a bad experience with cheese cake when I was a kid, and I've never really been able to enjoy it sense....Anyway, after I cook I will then get ready for Mass, which all of us are attending together, and then coming back here for some good food... There won't be much studying for finals tonight... that's for sure!It is always fun for me to host house parties... I don't do it very often with the whole family here because with everyone's busy lives there isn't always a good time to host one... when I am able to I have a lot of fun with it. :) I know that when I finally am on my own I will probably enjoy having more time to have friends come over for dinner. That's one of the things I am looking forward to the most.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

1. Clean my room for the dinner thing on Saturday2. Clean living room3. Clean bathroom4. Clean kitchen5. Go shopping for food for dinner thing6. Make up study cards for psychology test on Monday night7. May study cards for English test on Wed.... worth a huge part of my grade....8. Finish up final project for Emerging literacy class9. Finish up final project for my other education class, don't feel like putting the title for that down because it is so long....10. Go to mass on Saturday and carpool back to my house for dinner party11. Go to youth Mass12. Buy my sister's birthday present13. take final for psy.14. Go to free pancakes!!!!15. Take final for English16... Find time to celebrate the end of the semester please!!!!!!!!! Party Time, baby!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Today at Mass during the homily our priest, Fr. Don, asked the congregation if any of us knew why this particular Feast, The Feast of the Immaculate Conception, is one of the few left that we have to go to Mass for no matter what day of the week it falls on. He then told us that it is because Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception happens to be our nation's patron saint, and therefore the bishops of America had to make sure we remembered that by requiring us to go to Mass for her... I learned something new.... :)

O pure and immaculateand likewise blessed Virgin,who art the sinless Mother of thy Son, the mighty Lord of the universe,thou who art inviolate and altogether holy, the hope of the hopeless and sinful,we sing thy praises.We bless thee, as full of every grace, thou who didst bear the God-Man:we bow low before thee;we invoke thee and implore thine aid. Rescue us, O holy and inviolate Virgin,from every necessity that presses upon usand from all the temptations of the devil.

Be our intercessor and advocateat the hour of death and judgment;deliver us from the firethat is not extinguishedand from the outer darkness;make us worthy of the glory of thy Son, O dearest and most clement Virgin Mother.Thou indeed art our only hope most sureand sacred in God's sight,to Whom be honor and glory and majesty and dominion for ever and ever world without end. Amen.

I have had an incredibly frustrating and unbelievable past few weeks.... more specifically though has been in the past few days. Even now thinking about it all I still can't decide if I want to laugh or cry over it all....Saturday evening I decided to carpool with some friends over to a party. It was all just some good fun, nothing bad going on there. It was a great time spent with a number of friends who are a blast to be around... We got there around 11:00 p.m., and when we left the party around 2:30 a.m. we realized very quickly that my car went missing... it got towed... I was already tired from only four hours of sleep the night before and so I quickly snapped. I went crazy. I feel bad now for the friends who experienced my little melt-down. My friends and I walked around to locate the sign with the towing company on it, which took us quite awhile. When we finally called my dad to tell him we were stranded in the freezing cold air because my car was towed it was around 3:00 a.m. Later Sunday afternoon I was able to go and get my car back for only a mere $90.00....... I have learned my lesson about looking to make sure I park in visitors parking area; an expensive one, but a lesson nonetheless....Yesterday morning, I woke up to snow on the ground. Not a lot mind you, but it was still snow and it made me really happy too see.... That is until I got in the car to drive. Underneath the snow happened to be a lovely layer of ice which made driving pretty treacherous. My neighborhood streets had not been cleaned off yet, so I attempted to drive very slowly on the curvy hilly roads... I was doing pretty well until I got to one certain hill in the neighborhood that is pretty dangerous when the roads get icy. I attempted to slow my car down, but the car slid instead. I took my foot off the breaks, because my dad always said when the car starts skidding on the ice, the best thing to do is take your foot of the breaks.... When that didn't work I tried tapping them, but I knew it was going to be useless. I saw a mailbox and knew that there was no way I was gonna miss it, and my mirror knocked off the mailbox. The post did not break, and mailbox itself did not break, it just got knocked off... my car mirror on the other hand was not so lucky. It got totally knocked off. My dad ended up having to attach it with duck tape. After my car hit the mailbox and I looked at the mirror just dangling there I started to laugh. I am not even kidding. I laughed for a good five minutes, and then after that I really wanted to cry. I didn't though, but I really wanted to...It was after both of those two emergencies, I guess you could say, that I realize just how lucky I am to have the father that I do. Actually to have both the parents I do. My mom was great with listening to my vent about the stress I've had over the past few events... and my dad got up at 3:00 a.m. to pick up me and my two friends and gave them a ride home, and he was in a pretty good mood considering I woke him up and got him out of bed in the really cold air to save me from the predicament we were in.... He took off work early after he heard that my mirror fell off and came over to my work to fix my mirror, even if it was with duck tape. I think that both of my parents do not get enough credit for what they do for me, and I really love them dearly and am blessed to have them as my own. They are the BEST a girl could ask for!!!!!!!

Monday, December 7, 2009

One of my favorite singers happens to be Carrie Underwood. Truth be told, she was one of the main reasons I started listening and fell in love with country music. I was a fan of hers from her audition tapes on American Idol and, yes, I did vote for her every week to win. I can honestly say I do not regret helping her win that title because she hasn't let me down yet. I looked up her songs for her new album to see if I really did want to buy it, and when I heard the song below it sold me... not that I wouldn't have bought it anyway, but this is another reason why I love her music! Eventually I will end up putting her song on my play list for the blog, but I wanted to share the lyrics for it now, because I think they are so good! Enjoy. :) The message in the song is so great because we really should not tell us we are a fool for trying to change the world.... whether it is saving up change in a jar to finally send to a charity helping the poor, or fighting as hard as you can to help end something as tragic as abortion in this country. In reality, the tragedy is not fighting to change the world at all. If people end up believing they are a fool for trying then they won't try and things really won't change, and that is what is sad.

"Change"by Carrie Underwood

Whatcha gonna do with the 36 cents Sticky with Coke on your floorboard When a woman on the street is huddled in the cold On a sidewalk vent trying to keep warm

Do you call her over, hand her the change Ask her story, ask her her name Or do you tell yourself

You're just a fool Just a fool to believe you can change the world You're just a fool Just a fool to believe you can change the world

Oh, whatcha gonna do when you're watching TV And an ad comes on, yeah you know the kind Flashing up pictures of a child in need For a dime a day you could save a life

Do you call the number, reach out a hand Or do you change the channel, call it a scam Or do you tell yourself

You're just a fool Just a fool to believe you can change the world Don't listen to 'em when they say You're just a fool Just a fool to believe you can change the world

Oh, the smallest thing can make all the difference Love is alive, don't listen to 'em when they say You're just a fool Just a fool to believe you can change the world

The world's so big it can break your heart And you just want to help not sure where to start So you close your eyes, and send up a prayer into the dark

You're just a fool Just a fool to believe you can change the world Don't listen to 'em when they say You're just a fool Just a fool to believe you can change the world

Oh, the smallest thing can make all the difference Love is alive, don't you listen to 'em when they say You're just a fool Just a fool to believe you can change the world

Sunday, December 6, 2009

As I sat in Mass today, I fell in love with this reading. I think it is so beautiful, so I thought I'd share. :) it is actually kind of funny because last night I was given a Christmas present for being a confirmation facilitator... and on it was another version of the line, "I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it." I guess God really must be trying to send me a message!

Brothers and sisters:I pray always with joy in my every prayer for all of you,because of your partnership for the gospelfrom the first day until now.I am confident of this,that the one who began a good work in youwill continue to complete ituntil the day of Christ Jesus.God is my witness,how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.And this is my prayer:that your love may increase ever more and morein knowledge and every kind of perception,to discern what is of value,so that you may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,filled with the fruit of righteousnessthat comes through Jesus Christfor the glory and praise of God.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

There is one thing that really annoys me during the Christmas season... and that is people who really get annoyed when someone tells them "Merry Christmas." You look at their face and they look totally annoyed and usually grumble back something. I think that the stores that now have their salespeople say only "Happy Holidays" are more worried about not offending anyone. I think it is silly that a salesperson is not allowed to say "Merry Christmas," because as a client at their store I would much prefer hearing "Merry Christmas" over Happy Holidays.... I'm not saying they can't say "Happy Holidays," I just think that they should be able to say whatever Holiday greeting they feel like saying....Another thing that really frustrates me are the people who consider themselves atheists, but enjoy the benefits of Christmas... the commercial side of the holiday... you know, basically they don't want to feel cheated out of presents... I find that so hypocritical to enjoy the fun part of a Christian holiday while the rest of the year claiming to not believe in any God whatsoever....I am not quite sure what made me decide to write about those two things tonight except at work today a friend of mine got on the conversation of how we both get annoyed with the "Happy Holidays" greeting and hypocrites at Christmastime...I want to apologize now for the lack of posting that will be happening over the next few days... My week-end is going to be packed with a college lock-in "mini-retreat" thing tomorrow night that I will be attending. It sounds like it will be fun, and after the week I've had I really really need it. Saturday I will also be busy catching up with some homework... so I might not be able to post anything until sometime on Sunday.... we'll see how it goes....

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

"Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again even though you've been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshman year of high school at fifteen. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again even though every time you tried before, you've lost. It's fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say good-bye to someone who only hurts you ,even if you can't breath without them. I think it's fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he's in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they'll never stop doing, I think it's fearless to stop believing them. It's fearless to say 'You're NOT sorry,' and then walk away. I think that loving someone despite what other people think is fearless. I think allowing to let yourself cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then moving on, and being alright.... That's fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That's why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless."~Taylor Swift~

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I always know that the Christmas season has officially started here in Bloomington when I go out to the different stores and can here the sound of bells jingling as soon as I open my car door. The sound of the bells is such a familiar sound to me. The bells I'm referring to are the ones that are rung for the Salvation Army... every year that I can remember growing up my dad has always volunteered, along with the K of C, to ring the bells at one of the stores. Once I was about 10 years old, my dad decided to bring me along to help him ring them. I remember at age 10 I was very shy when it came to talking to strangers... so if my dad told me to sing songs or something I would clam up, and if he started to sing them my face turned very red, because more people noticed us. I also really didn't like it when the place we would ring the bells at had us outside in the cold. I much preferred being in a warm environment, like the local mall for example, then standing outside of Kroger. After a few years though it became a tradition for my dad and I. Sometimes I would drag my friends along and we would ring the bells out in the cold and sing Christmas songs to pass the time. I think that whenever I hear those jingly bells it will always bring me back to the days of just my dad and I helping raise money for people in need, and it will bring a smile to my face... I just wish that more people would think to help out those in need throughout the rest of the year, not just the Christmas season.

About Me

There is so much about me that I obviously cannot put here. Let's see.... I'm 24 years old and am working full-time and have one of the most fun, but challenging jobs ever...I'm a daycare teacher. I work with 2/3 yr. old kids, and some may think I'm crazy for it, but secretly I'm a big kid at heart so it's perfect. I love my family and friends dearly. They are amazing people who have helped make me into the person I am today. I guess my friends would say I'm silly, outgoing, happy, friendly, loyal... I think I just described the traits of a dog... So yeah, if you want to know more about me, just ask.