Monday, July 31, 2006

Last Night in North Carolina

What is it about the end that makes you think about the beginning?

I saw my favorite Wal-Mart greeter in the low-cost Asian import super center tonight. I didn't mention to him that I am moving. We've never said much more to each other than good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night but I am going to miss him. He has the most sincere smile.

I'm glad there are no Wal-Marts in New York City, but apparently there is one coming right behind me in 2008. By then, I'll have been a New Yorker (or an aspiring New Yorker / New Yorker in training) for almost two years.

I wish I had more time to relax, reminisce and soak up some memories. After living in Cullowhee all these years, memories come to life in front me all the time. You always retain more memories than those who move away because you are often confronted by old ghosts - good and bad. I learned that as a military brat and I relived it when I became employed by my university and many of my college friends returned to their hometowns after graduation or found jobs in new places. I'd really just like to take one final walk through my college and post-college stomping grounds and just take some moments to remember. No time. I guess I'll have to come back for a Homecoming one year.

I have been planning for this for over a year. Working 60-80 hours a week. Purging my apartment slowly and carefully - throwing, selling or giving away. Tying up lose ends at work. Finishing up projects. Yet I'm still pressed for time as I come down to the wire. I guess we always end up jumping into things even if we stick our toes in first. Even me, the consummate planner, cannot think of everything.

One thing I have been thinking about lately is on how much time I've missed out with my family and friends throughout the past year while working 2-3 jobs. My parents live an hour away in Asheville, yet I've only visited them a handful of times. I've spent time with my closest friends, right down the street, much less than I'm willing to admit. I turned down so many invitations from coworkers for evening drinks. I sacraficed so much to be able to finance this move. In fact, I began to notice that my friends stopped inviting me places because I was always declining. I really missed out on good times with them and I'm beginning to feel the regret. Even now, I just want to hang out with them and just look at them, talk and laugh, but I have to be out of my apartment by tomorrow evening and Terrence and I are driving overnight to New York City. I guess you can say that "it's the magic of risking everything for a dream that no one sees but you ... (Who was it who said that?)" But at what price? I suppose it doesn't matter now because I've already paid it.

This evening, Terrence and I drove to Asheville to pick up our rental, a delightful little Stow-and-Go Dodge Caravan. We'll be stylin' and profilin' all the way up the East Coast with the best of the soccer moms! We pulled out of the apartment complex in my beloved Honda that I am going to miss so much, windows down, sunrays beaming through the moon roof. I looked over at him and said, "I can finally say that this whole year was worth it!"

I knew I would be able to say it eventually; it was just beginning to feel like the day would never come. That day was today.

Quotable NYC

"Courtney's early chitchats with me were not filled with that kind of insane intensity that really naive people have when they're fresh off the boat in New York ..."~ Alan Hunter, Former MTV VJ, of Courtney Cox, E! THS "Friends"

"One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years."~ Thomas Wolfe

"It would be childish of us to deny that our lives weren't changing. But for this night, none of us were going anywhere. That's the thing about really good friends and a really great Manhattan."~ Carrie, "Sex and the City"

More Quotable NYC

"In Washington, the first thing people tell you is what their job is. In Los Angeles you learn their star sign. In Houston you're told how rich they are. And in New York they tell you what their rent is."~ Simon Hoggart

"I can't wait to get back to New York City where at least when I walk down the street, no one ever hesitates to tell me exactly what they think of me."~ Ani Difranco

“It’s not the meaning of life, Alfred, it’s the feeling of life. Look at that park down there! Just think of how many loves lost and found in it, how many first kisses kissed, how many Frisbees lost, and just remember that is your park, my friend. And you've got your whole life to walk though it.”~ Zak Orth to Freddie Prinze Jr. referring to Central Park in Down to You (2000)

"Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book - and does."~ Groucho Marx

"There's a spot in Central Park ... where if you sit there long enough, the entire city walks by."~ Matthew Perry to Salma Hayek in Fools Rush In (1997)