Remorseless

I have come across an odd break in my pattern of behavior and was wondering what everyone thinks.

For those of you who do not know me, I have spent a lot of time at war. I have not come across a single past life yet which does not contain warfare at one point or another, although I have not yet had to fight in this life. I also have an extremely guilty conscience: the kind that still feels bad about something such as sneaking a piece of candy at age four.

As one might assume, these two factors combine in a way that causes issues. At times, I sink into sorrow thinking about every individual who has fallen to my blade or to my tactics. I know I had my reasons at the time, but that is never enough to assuage my guilt.

Well, it is almost never enough.

I recently did an audio regression, during which I uncovered a terrible piece of my past. I was standing outside of a church preparing to bring harm to someone within. While I did not see the action itself, I am almost certain the intent or the result was...well, fatal. Naturally, my modern thought processes kicked in and I demanded to know why I would do such a thing. “It is alright; he was a bad person,” was the answer I received. And I accepted it.

Usually, if I had come across such an event, I would never have let myself live it down. Taking life on the battlefield is bad enough, but the premeditated killing of a civilian is so much worse, no matter how "bad" of a person they are. Yet, as the memories continued to my attempted execution, I felt no guilt. Upon waking and these few weeks since, I have felt no guilt.

Why did my conscience decide to take a holiday when it comes to this event?

I understand. I have very old memories of a life in which I caused an incredible amount of damage to the society I lived in. I can't say any more details about it, I'll just say that I have no idea of how many people died from my actions. When I remembered fulfilling that mission, I felt it was the happiest moment of my whole existence. I felt complete, I felt my life coming full circle, I saw it as a new beginning. When I finally made sense of the memories I realized how much damage followed my actions. I felt no happiness in remembering that any longer, but I'd be a liar if I said that I regret it. Had it been a different life, different circumstances, I would. I would despise the idea of taking a human life. But that felt different. It was a turning point in my existence... so much has changed for me since then. Had I not done it, everything would have remained the same for me, I would have kept returning to the same circumstances as before, indefinitely. It's the past, and it's gone.

We have been murderers and we have been murdered.
We have killed and we have been killed.

Sometimes we choose to partake certain roles before incarnating that will help the other learn lessons...even be it killing and taking the life of others--or vice versa the other way around..

I have killed men in the past, yet in this life I don't feel any guilt since I realize in this life I'm here to really live life to the fullest and enjoy what it has to offer. Instead of shedding blood with my sword, I came back and chose to lead life creating a path of love to redeem myself in a sense from those deaths. Doing what you can to make those you love happy or doing something nice to make the world a better place. One small ripple can effect the currents of a lake.

In at least my most recent two past lives, I killed a lot of people. I fought in WWII in my most recent past life and killed for both profit and enjoyment before that. I can’t say I feel much guilt, though I am a bit taken back by some of the memories I have.

How much remorse do you feel when you wake up from a dream in which you did a bad deed?

How much remorse do you feel during a dream, if you recall that you did a bad deed during another dream?

The one you are now isn't the one you were in your past lives. You just have a connection, at another level, with those individuals. Also, most likely, you don't have now the same view of the purpose of this life, and of what you're doing, as your higher self has. If you want to understand more about those things, you can get into an altered state of consciousness, and ask for answers.

Spirit Sword, I was like you when I was younger. Feeling guilty was an extreme emotion. Somehow I lost this during the years of my life. It's like I don't care anymore.
It is just like I recognize I could kill a person by now and at the same time, I am absolutely sure I don't want. I am not afraid of my own death, because I know life goes in circles. Same thing with other people's lives. They will come back too.
I guess I have killed in my past. I don't have clear memories, but I do have a hint. I must have fighting experience somewhere in my past because I know how to defend myself by instinct. I have one memory of being killed myself and I don't care about this so-called murderer. We could be friends by now, I don't know, but it's all in the past. Two of my friends know they were once killed by people they dearly love in this life and they don't care. My own husband probably ordered my death in a far past and I don't care.

Spirit Sword, I think it's a good thing to detach yourself from your past actions. Just let it go. We cannot change the past, it already happened. We don't know exactly how life works but sometimes we need bad guys in order to grow ourselves. A very, very difficult concept and to be honest I cannot say that I know how to deal with it in this daily life.
It is very possible that your former victims also don't care anymore, life goes on, life after life.

I was really more curious as to why I felt nothing in that one instance when I have plenty of guilt for everything else. But this has sparked some rather interesting discussion.

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I´m wondering, could it be it´s a case of "action reaction" through lives having been worked out? That it´s all been, in this specific instance, somehow balanced out. And with that the guilt attached to it, through all these years, cancelled out. After all, isn´t the basic function of guilt, to propel us onto the straight and narrow. And once that road in every single instance has reached its goal all the way, what´s the need for guilt? Maybe your free now, like the voice in the regression seemed to indicate, to see it all in a more neutral way.

On topic, I can't quote (because it's an Edit) on which post I reply to but in my experience, it's not unrealistic for the offender to come across his/her victim. Unfinished business and karmic ties cosmic rules again at work, it seems. Remorse is something I can attest to but it's not on a personal level for me. I feel bad about a certain act of mine but not guilty towards that PERSON. I feel it was "wrong" and given the chance I would probably do differently NOW, but as that movie is done it will always play the same way no mater what - and no actor involved is to blame. It's over and I should really move on and take it as a lesson so something good comes out of it.

I am starting to believe that the specific memory around which this post is based does not belong to me.

First of all, the feeling was different. There is usually a sort of excited buzz that I feel in a past life memory, even a negative one. Like my soul is resonating with the material. This was absent, as was any real emotion (which is also opposite most memories).

Secondly, I was looking over old legal records, and it appeared my past identity was implicated in a similar crime, but was found not guilty. Whereas, someone who was either a friend or at least an associate was found guilty of the same crime.

I have heard that some people accidentally pick up other peoples' memories. Either they are born programmed with copies of other peoples' past lives, or they pick up on the lives of others in proximity to them. Is it possible that this memory belongs to this other person and not me?

I will say that it is certainly possible you got this between lives as spirits like to share information like we do in this world so nothing changes in that aspect, I am still thinking over things like impressions so lots to think over and learn. It is good that you are learning the difference between what is really yours and a memory from someone or something else. I have to wonder what all is preloaded into us before living in this crazy world.

Hi Spirit Sword. Could this 'false' past life memory be a narrative that your mind constructed based on an incident from your past life? Kind of like you became aware of the details of your past life and your mind filled in the blanks?

Hi Spirit Sword. Could this 'false' past life memory be a narrative that your mind constructed based on an incident from your past life? Kind of like you became aware of the details of your past life and your mind filled in the blanks?

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I am not sure. It could be. I have had dreams containing real details from past lives, people, etc. where the plot of the dream was clearly fabricated. It was not quite like that. This still felt like being in a regression, just not exactly like being me. But that is a definite possibility.

Perhaps, but I still did not feel that surety I usually have. That feeling of "Oooh, this is me! Okay, what am I doing now?" I usually start with (often followed by "Oh, gosh, can we stop, please?") was not really there. I guess that might be gone though if I was subconsciously combining experiences into something less recognizable.