Hello? This is Adrants, right? So where's our commentary on the Lane Bryant ad featuring a woman whose breasts are apparently too big for Fox and ABC? Excuse us if we took off a few days to enter the actual world where women with actual breasts and actual cleavage exist. And who aren't cast off as mutated oddities as the networks seem to have done to the women in the new Lane Bryant commercial.

"Good God! She has breasts! Holy shit! Look at that cleavage! We can't possibly air that! That would break our B cup limit! That would likely cause men to get erections in public!The cause groups would eat us alive! Besides, the she weighs more than 120 pounds! And that makes her fat! No one wants to see fat people in ads. Tell those fatties over at Lane Bryant that if they want that spot to air, they're going to have to cover up that cleavage."

Haven't we all had enough of these stupid commercials that promise you the world if only you drink a Coke...as if that can full of sugarized crap has anything to do with your ability to achieve success on your own?

So here we have some crap about a "boy who didn't know how to celebrate so he set off on a quest to find his own celebration." Complete with joyous lyrics about freedom and fire, the boy flies, fights against robots and climbs mountains of celebrations. But it's not until he takes a sip of Coke that he realizes the only place he needs to search for celebration is inside himself.

Gag! Please! Seriously? A kid needs to drink a a Coke to realize his potential? Seriously? What twisted sort of education is that for today's youth? Oh wait, it's the same thing every other marketer does. Buy our product and you will be magically transformed in the most supremely perfect person on the planet.

- The Art Directors Club has launched YouTube Show & Tell, a "showcase for the best ad/marketing content on YouTube." The ADC will pick the content and a rotating panel of reviewers made up of top creatives and designers will lend commentary.

Switzerland's too classy to ask the rest of the world, "Where the bloody hell are you?" so it has gone about encouraging tourism with a more subdued approach. As if on some sort of mythical mission of grand importance, two men - to the all wrong Bonanza or Big Valley-style soundtrack - carry a rock over the countryside as if the rock's destination were crucial to the survival of the human race.

Unfortunately, all they end up doing with the rock is dumping it in a stream so hikers can set foot on it to cross the stream. All of this grandeur is meant to convince us just how much effort the Swiss go to to make their country perfect for hiking holidays.

But isn't hiking all about exploring the unknown, uneven natural-ness of the countryside. This commercial might as well scream, "We have hiking Interstates all across our countryside so you don't have to get your shoes wet!"

On Tuesday night at ad:tech San Francisco there were more parties than the average human could possibly attend. But we're not average so we made it to every party except two. Eight in all. The night kicked of at 5PM on top of the Moscone Center at B Restaurant where the Meetup202 party took place. After so many years attending ad:tech at the Moscone, we never knew this place existed. It's quite nice with a beautiful view of the Yerba Buena Gardens.

Then it was over to Temple Night Club for the Blumberg Capital & DoubleVerify Cocktail Party. Sadly, we couldn't stay long but the food was good and people were flooding in the doorway as we walked out. A quick trip to the W brought us to the Oldtimers party in the lobby, where no less than three other companies were having mini parties. Can we please find a better venue/hang-out than the W? The St. Regis perhaps?

And a company that actually named itself Lead Beaver. Yes, Lead Beaver. With hired beav...uh...models to wear branded red leather coats.

We love this sort of fun as much as the next person. After all, if we didn't have companies performing these exhibit hall antics, what would we have to take pictures of? A product demo? Who really wants to see that? No, e want some fun injected into our day. And we can thank Lead Beaver and its lovely representatives for doing just that.

As always, Belgian men's magazine Che promises men the prefect world, unencumbered by the silliness of rules, obligations and unfulfilled fantasies. In this Duval Guillaume-created promotion for the magazine's tenth anniversary, a man gets to experience the fantasy every man has had at least once whether or not they will admit to it.

For a truly strange...or over the top disgusting...take on the whole breast feeding thing, be sure to check out the latest from the Ohio state health department which has a drooling baby truly satisfied with his intake of breast milk.

OK so this is gross. Riffing off Hitchcock's statement regarding the proper length of a film when he said, "The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder," Barcelono-based Atletico International has held a bladder hostage in a promotional video for the MECAL Short Film Festival. They're touting it as "the world's first bladder friendly festival." Funny. Gross. Weird. All in one.

My mother would be horrified at what passes for acceptable advertising subject matter today. Erectile dysfunction. Irritable bowel syndrome. And adult incontinence. So it's fair to say she probably wouldn't like this new campaign from Depends which follows the same boring concept of every other "ailment" commercial.

You know the concept. Show average people doing everyday normal things. Present them as if they were your neighbor (well, a normal neighbor). And then, at the end, drop some copy akin to, "People know a lot of things about me but no one needs to know about my condition" followed by the ubiquitous product shot.

That's pretty much what JWT New York did for Depend Underwear. There's print ads too.