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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Our day with the Tiger Cooking Teacher

The scornful eye of Martha was upon her, poor Isabel.

You enter Martha Sherpa's cooking school through a barred metal door of the grim model you might find in a minimum security prison. You walk down a damp, grimy hall and ascend in an ancient elevator to the humid second floor kitchen where Martha holds court. When Isabel and I arrived yesterday, she loomed unsmiling in the doorway and pointed to the shelf where we were to place our bags and umbrellas. No names were exchanged. There were four of us in the class on Chinese bread baking. (Martha also teaches dim sum, wok cookery, and desserts.) In addition to Isabel and me, there was a young Filipina maid whose boss wants her to start baking bread, and an American expatriate businesswoman who likes to cook.

"Do like this."

How to describe Martha? Very hard. Imagine a cross between Amy Chua, Rosie O'Donnell, and Simon Cowell. Give this person a thick Cantonese accent and dress her in a white coat and green surgical mask. This will give you a vague idea of the wonder that is Martha Sherpa.

And this will give you a vague idea of the wonder that is Martha Sherpa's teaching style:

Martha: "Pat that flat."

Student, fumbling, tries to pat some pasty filling on the metal work table.

Martha. "No. Wrong! Like this."

a mighty and dexterous hand

Student tries again.

Martha, wearily: "No. Too slow. Wrong."

Student tries again. Asks: "Is this okay?"

Martha: "Clearly not okay."

She tosses things at you. A rag to wipe the table. A ball of dough to shape. A scraper to scrape up a microscopic particle of dough that you left on the counter and which must be reincorporated into your bread. It is all commands and rebukes and I suppose this is a very gentle version of the way she herself was taught to cook in Hong Kong restaurant kitchens.

And you know what? After a short, bracing adjustment period, it was great. We were mixing, pounding, kneading, slamming, stretching, washing, scraping, baking, and fielding criticism for seven hours and at the end of it we really knew stuff.

I've given the impression that Martha was horrid. She was not. Although she was formidably rude, she was also funny and candid and entertaining and even Isabel was giggling by the end of the day. In between issuing commands and concocting insults, Martha told stories about disgracefully spoiled Hong Kong children and perfidious bakers who lace their bread with chemicals, about the going rate paid to Filipina "helpers" (she blames the helpers for spoiling Hong Kong children) and the foolish entrepreneurs who come to her class for one day and think they can move to San Francisco or Penang and open a restaurant.

pineapple buns

We made five different breads: pineapple buns, cocktail buns, coconut bread, raisin bread, and chicken hot dogs wrapped in dough. All the breads were fluffy, buttery, sweet, and delicious. (Even the hot dog rolls were sweet.)

Some general facts about Chinese bread:

-Butter is always salted butter.

-Whole milk powder is often used, just like in the Milk Bar cookbook; nonfat dried milk powder is not a substitute. I'm going to try to buy some proper milk powder at the supermarket down the street from our hotel.

-Unlike Western bread, Chinese bread is served steaming hot. It is torn apart, not cut, and it is eaten all at once; you don't break a loaf and save the rest for later.

-The Chinese detest crusts, so surfaces are brushed with syrup to keep them soft.

coconut bread

-What the Chinese call bread is what most Westerners would call "sweet rolls."

At the end of the class, the other American woman in the class declined to comment in Martha's guest book. She rolled her eyes and said, "That was fun, but I don't know what to make of her. " Isabel declined to comment as well.

I commented. I wrote that this class was the highlight of my trip to Hong Kong and unless something miraculous happens today or tomorrow, that will be the truth.

56 comments:

Very cool! Pineapple bread was one of my favorites in high school. I used to buy them at the 99 Ranch market in Anaheim. You can buy whole milk powder at Latino markets (like Mi Pueblo). I have some in the pantry waiting for me to make crack pie.

Wow! What an adventure! You are going to tell us about the breads,right? It is daunting and humbling when I think of how most people in the world produce wonderful food in what we would call primitive situations, like Martha's. How did you bake the bread?

Wow! What an adventure! You are going to tell us about the breads,right? It is daunting and humbling when I think of how most people in the world produce wonderful food in what we would call primitive situations, like Martha's. How did you bake the bread?

I was just reviewing the recent posts and their comments as a birthday present for Jennifer (I don't usually read this blog, because I already live here.)And I saw where a couple people were hoping to hear from me about what Owen and I and our animal companions were up to while Jennifer and Isabel were in Hong Kong.Quick review: No harm done to the animals, no cat deportation. Plenty of eggs. Spent $50 at the feed store. Mucked out the chicken house. Neighbor came over and got a bucket of chicken muck for her garden.We ate leftover pizza, leftover pasta, frozen pizza, pasta and jarred sauce, Pasta Pomodoro pasta, hamburgers. No veggies, but some fruit. Then I ditched Owen and went to Vegas.Looking forward to coconut bread, now, as soon as J or I makes it!

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I took the same bread class at Martha Sherpa's school. I was a total beginner with no baking experience. She tore me apart. She berated, belittled, and showed no mercy. At the end of the day, I did learn a lot about baking, but at the expense of my ego.

Do you have the recipe for the Coconut Bread posted anywhere? I've been scouring the internet for days now trying to find one- I can't do white flour or white sugar much anymore for health reasons, but I CRAAAAVVVVEEE Coconut bread and I'm trying to figure out a whole wheat pastry flour/coconut sugar sweetened version.Thanks!

Moro by Sam & Sam Clark. Shelf essential? Yes. An all-time favorite. A brilliant and fascinating book about the cuisines of North Africa and the Mediterranean.

Gourmet Today edited by Ruth Reichl. Shelf Essential? No. Not a bad book, but it can't decide if it's aspiring to be an all-purpose classic or something else entirely. It's neither. Recipes are mostly solid, few outstanding.

Mexico, One Plate at a Time by Rick Bayless. Shelf essential? No, but a very useful and reliable Mexican cookbook.

Revolutionary Chinese Cookbook by Fuchsia Dunlop. Shelf essential? Yes, especially if you're a Chinese food fanatic and want to delve into its regional cuisines. Though some of the recipes are too weird even for me, the beef with cumin was one of the best things I've ever cooked.

The Seventh Daughter by Cecilia Chiang. Shelf essential? Sure, though if there's only room in your collection for one "basic" Chinese cookbook go for Barbara Tropp's Modern Art of Chinese Cooking.