11 Things I Learned After Shaving My Head

If you are reading this, you are considering shaving your head. Congratulations and welcome to the coven. Everyone has different reasons for wanting to buzz it all off. For me, I wanted a fresh start after gradually (and accidentally) making my undercut so drastic it was inevitable I would have to restart my hair growth all over if I wanted it to grow out in a non-bizarro way. It was a decision years in the making, and I don’t regret it one bit.

I shaved my head by myself in my bathroom on a regular weekday morning, and it felt like a great start to an otherwise ordinary week. Still, every time I touch it up again, I feel liberated. You can’t not think of Britney Spears’ journey to self-ownership when you do it, and I think that’s actually amazing.
When she was asked why she had shaved her head, she simply said, “Because of you” — because she was tired of everyone touching her and tired of feeling like she was owned. Given how much our bodies are used in the service of public debate, I totally understand the sentiment. Whatever your reasons for contemplating the cut, here are some tips you might find helpful in your endeavor.

1. You’re going to want to cut the length before buzzing.

It will be easier to manage the buzzer, and it gets you in the zone of thinking, Yes, in fact, I will go full Sinead, thank you so much!

2. People are going to want to pet you.

Everyone is going to want to pet your head. Maybe you will even like this. The fuzz is honestly quite soothing, but just a warning: People might reach out to touch it a lot. You are going to get many unsolicited opinions.

3. It comes with a couple of stigmas.

Two of the most common misconceptions associated with a buzzcut on femme-presenting people is that you are queer and/or you are chronically ill. People will treat you differently. I got catcalled more by men, strangely enough, but then again, I lived in Bushwick, Brooklyn. For most people street harassment post-buzz goes down.

4. Your hair will grow...fast.

So you should get your own buzzer for touch-ups. If you’re going for a super simple buzz, it makes more sense to spend $20 on a buzz kit than it does $20 every two weeks, or however long it will take for your hair to grow to an intolerably awkward fluff. All you need is two mirrors (one hand mirror and your bathroom mirror), a buzzer, and some agility. That being said, going to your local barber or favorite stylist for periodic shape-ups (maybe a sick fade) is totally worth it. It makes a huge difference in terms of final look, and you can get a sick design shaped into your head if you want to feel cyber-punk. I’d go to a barber or a stylist specializing in shorter haircuts.

5. At-home maintenance requires a few supplies.

Make sure to get a trash bag or a hair cloak so clean-up is way easier. Inevitably you’re going to want to also take a shower after a trim to get all the small hairs off you that will have fallen into the most bizarre places. For the absolute closest buzz you can use a manual razor after buzzing, but it's more dangerous and it will take forever.

6. Know your buzzer.

There are several levels of buzzer closeness; they’re recognized by numbers for the size of the hair-clipper guard. Zero means bald (as close to the scalp as possible), all the way up to eight, which is about an inch of hair left behind. Without a guard (clipper only), you’re at zero — the fresh buzz. If you don’t want your cut that drastic, try a level two — it'll still hide your scalp, and graduate down depending on your comfort zone.

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7. Follow the grain.

Shave with the "grain" of your head — yes, your head is like a tree trunk because we are Earth’s living creatures. In all seriousness, it does make for a more polished look afterwards. You can tell the grain by the way your hair falls. It’s not the end of the world if you ignore this advice; I’m not your mom.

8. Everything else changes perspective.

You might get obsessive about other aspects of your body as a result. For example, I got way more gung-ho about having perfect skin than I was when I had a big distracting head of hair to hide my zits.

9. But you use way less hair products.

You will use less product and the products that you do use might change. To deal with a dry scalp you might need to switch to a dandruff shampoo (sorry, Ouai stans), and for just a bit of texture, you could use a hair paste or light mousse once it grows out enough to style. But what about all those hair products you might be using to style your hair right now? Yeah, out the window. I consider this freeing. Praise bald Britney.

10. It opens up a world of styling possibilities.

Experimenting with hair color is a lot easier with a fresh buzz because you need much less bleach, the application is a total breeze, you can do it yourself, and if you don’t like the end result you can just wait a week or two and start all over again.

11. And it's an opportunity to do something nice.

The first time you buzz your hair, if it's long enough, consider donating it to charity depending on the length and condition of your hair. Requirements vary, as do charities. You can donate a ponytail to Wigs for Kids or to Pantene’s Beautiful Lengths program, which focuses on women with cancer, and Locks of Love (which sells hair that doesn’t meet their requirements, FYI).

Once you decide to grow it out, be prepared to suffer the endless phases of regrowth. Frequent trims at a stylist will help the anxiety, but wigs are always fun, too. It's just hair after all — or more precisely, the lack thereof. Anyone can have a shaved head. There are no rules about what shape head you need for it to look good. It’s more a matter of confidence. But you knew that already, didn't you?