Wednesday, May 4, 2011

On God's Plans

In the few times before I was pregnant with my son that I attempted to come out of the 'infertility closet', I was met with some startlingly harsh commentary, but there is one remark that, although spoken some four years ago, still rings crystal clear in my ears,

"Oh, well this is just God's way of preventing more of these kids we work with from being born."

This was two-fold disgusting. You see, I work in special education and to do so, you must see the innate value and beauty in every person, whether they are 'typically' developing or not. This person (who was a special education secretary) not only pompously assumed that she had a direct line into God's intentions and how those played out in my life, but she revealed her true colors as to what she thought of the very children her position served on a daily basis.

My response? Nothing. Silence. And then I walked away.

Quite frankly, I was too stunned to speak. I mean, I felt like it was the equivolent of someone just squatting down in the middle of the room and taking a leak. You just don't do that in public, you just don't say that to someone, so when it happens, you're just...stunned.

I wish I could walk back in time for that moment. I wish it, but then I wonder, what would I have done differently? Launched into an equally ignorant dialogue, arguing points that might have appealed to logic which the audience would have continued fully lacking? Or would my response have made her think a little harder before opening her mouth again to me, or to someone like me? Could the right words have saved someone else grief in the future?

Regardless of where your beliefs stand, whether you believe God has a hand in everything or whether you believe he/she does not exist, no one is all knowing. No one has a direct line into any organized plan (if there is one) this universe (or God) has, whether that's to spare the world the birth of more children who do not fit her version of the 'master race' (seriously, doesn't this thinking sound nazi-esque?) or to make sure that naughty tattoo yielding, margarita-drinking people such as myself do not reproduce.

So, if this was said to you, what would have been your response? Even with the 20/20 vision that comes from looking back in time, I'm still stumped...

7 comments:

I do believe in God. I believe in His son Jesus. And I believe that you did the best thing you could've done. Just walk away. You showed that you thought her comment was heartless and mean, but you didn't invite a conversation, because she certainly already seemed to have her mind made up. And, as a high school teacher, I can't say I'm shocked to hear educators speak like that, but geez. Like you said, every child is a creation of God, and what a terrible way to phrase that! It's nice that she thinks she's got divine conversations, but God had revealed Himself through scripture saying that every child is a gift from above (I think that's Pslams 127...I think). You did the right thing.My worst comment was "God doesn't believe in IVF, because it's not natural". After much thought, I realized that if that was true, than he must not believe in tylenol or pacemakers either. THose aren't 'natural'. Sometimes people mean well (Although I don't think you're lady did) but unless you've been in this IF situation or walked through it with someone, it's difficult to understand.Okay, now I'm just ranting. Sorry about the long comment.

I guess we could go about educating the world but if they aren't willing to listen with an open mind and heart then it just a waste of our time. You did what best fit at the time and I'm not sure I would have had the courage to just step away from the stupidity she was spewing from her mouth.

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37, hopelessly infertile, married, and by the skin of my teeth (and gobs of medical intervention), a Mom. I'm spending my days hoping lightening strikes a second time that so I can get my grubby little hands on that last title one more time...