Sarah Hedgecock

If this story turns out to involve meth, it might be among the most Oklahoma things to ever happen. Cattle ranchers on Tuesday found a wet, nearly naked man hiding from extreme weather in a guitar case near the town of Muskogee, cold but alive.

The man claims he was walking from Gore to Checotah, a distance of over 25 miles, in order to meet a woman. The freezing conditions were not a surprise; the entire state has been on ice since last week. Nevertheless, he set off.

Along the way, he apparently got lost and fell through an icy pond, after which he stripped off his wet and freezing clothes. The man then realized that it can get pretty cold when you're standing in an icy forest in nothing but a pair of soggy boxer shorts, so he logically decided to spend the night in his guitar case.

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He was found the next morning by a couple tending their cattle. They called authorities and found the shed clothes, which by then had frozen solid. He was treated and released upon the world to make more questionable decisions.

Before you accuse Gawker of stereotyping flyover country from its cushy New York perch: I am from Oklahoma. We aren't a bunch of backwoods yokels. But even the city kids know at least one person who has cows, and a meth lab has probably exploded somewhere near their neighborhood at some point. I can confirm that this is, in fact, an extremely Oklahoma thing to happen.

Police believe the man was on something when he started out, but they're not sure what it was.