August 29, 2004

Fessing Up

After some deep introspection, I have come to the conclusion that I should be totally honest with you. I am not a lieutenant in the Marines and author of best selling book, The Marine Corps Way. I have never met Secretary of State Colin Powell, nor have I ever been given an award by him. Sadly, I also never fronted the now defunct west coast garageband FridgebuZZ as resident lead guitarist. I am sorry if I have misled any of you.

damn all of you and your non-unique names. “i can google myself and find all kinds of funny alternate identities. i’m so cool. my name is great.” you should consider the feelings of all of us who stand alone in the world, with no identical name twins to provide us with material for humorous blog posts. [sniff] my only consolation is that kevin cornell is totally hot.

I cringe every time somebody googles me. Though I wouldn’t really mind being the ex CEO of Mailboxes ETC, I hate to think there might be people out there who think I am a 47 year old American who is a big fan of Britney Spears! Why do I have to share my name with such a loser? Ugh. Isn’t there some kind of google hit man we can hire to bump these people off the list?