Nah, we’d move Redstone, NASA, and most of Huntsville to, say, Texas to fill the place of all the Texas separatists who we shipped to Alabama.

As I recall when I visited Redstone and NASA quite a few years ago, I went crazy flipping the dial on my rental auto radio trying to find anything besides religious and Rush Limbaugh type programs. I’m sure the non-crackpots would be delighted to leave if they had decent jobs and schools waiting for them.

I have the perfect solution: Somalia. Absolutely the smallest possible government you can have, guns are everywhere, and you can shoot all the terrorists and pirates you want. Offer them free transportation, allow them to take anything which they can stuff into one standard shipping container, $100K in gold (since they think US dollars are no good), and five acres of land. Looks like a win/win situation if I ever saw one. We don’t have to listen to them whine and moan, they can go live out their Mad Max fantasies, and they might actually take out a few terrorists and pirates while they’re at it.

Signature

“There will come a time when it isn’t ‘They’re spying on me through my phone’ anymore. Eventually, it will be ‘My phone is spying on me’.” ― Philip K. Dick

I have the perfect solution: Somalia. Absolutely the smallest possible government you can have, guns are everywhere, and you can shoot all the terrorists and pirates you want. Offer them free transportation, allow them to take anything which they can stuff into one standard shipping container, $100K in gold (since they think US dollars are no good), and five acres of land. Looks like a win/win situation if I ever saw one. We don’t have to listen to them whine and moan, they can go live out their Mad Max fantasies, and they might actually take out a few terrorists and pirates while they’re at it.

And the Somalis actually seem to be making some sort of progress in turning their “country” back into a country. Slow, shaky progress, but progress nonetheless. And they’re too Muslim anyway. We send all our gun-toting Jesus freaks there and they’ll have another civil war on their hands. And, well, look what the last one did.

Now Uganda, Uganda could work. It’s Christian and I’m sure the Ugandans would be happy if they went off and killed off all those LRA assholes.

Signature

This post brought to you by Stop n Drop. America’s favorite suicide booth since 2012.

Ah yes, the LRA meets the KKK. Now that would really be an interesting grudge match with both groups, easily identified by color and culture, battling it out under the symbolic banner of the ten commandments. Who’ll be the first to violate “Thou shalt not kill”? Sending teabaggers to an African country? Priceless!

Somalia? Do they play football in Somalia? Do they have an Opera Company? That my only interest these days. Even my grandkids are too old to be interesting and they are probably not going to have babies for me to play with.

I am very disappointed in how America does its campaigns. Oh yes, I voted for Obama if only just to piss off my kids. I have spent the last 20 years running away from the religious right. I tried to warn many of my pals here in California that the Christians would run us all over and that damn Mormon who ran would baptise them like they tired to do to the poor Jews who were exterminated in Poland. The Mormons thought this was a gift from God to make them all all Mormons by baptism by proxy. I threatened to kill my favorite aunt if she did this to me! I am still trying to live down the fact that Romney and I have the same Grandfather. I did not vote for him and will never vote for any Mormon or even vote for someone who knows a Mormon.

Are there any Mormons in Somalia? I need to know things like this. My kids flew in from Maryland last night and are going to take me out to lunch. This is my youngest daughter and her husband. They are the good part of the family. She married a very rich Jew and made her old mother very happy.

You’ve got my vote that this is the best suggestion I’ve heard all day. Mormons are very weird! A few years go I was watching “Ancient Aliens” and they featured the Angel “Moroni” speaking to Joseph Smith about the new religion as if Moroni came from outer space to introduce himself to Smith to help form the new religion. It was time for America to have it’s own faith. Ancient Aliens had it all figured out and the mormons became famous as the new religion to be led by none other than Mitt Romney. I have to burp. My grandparents had the nerve to try and sell this to me at the age of 9. I did not buy any of it! I laughed all the way out of the temple in Salt Lake City and I never went back.

I would love to see Texas leave the union. Having to sit through the Primary debates made me wish Gov. Perry would run away and not come home. I would love to see his IQ numbers as his debating skills were terrible. The Conservative women from Texas were drooling all over him and I missed what they saw in him. Okay, nice hair and a sweet smile but I had a doberman with those qualities.

Please be patient with Texas. Just think of us as a family member who has had a severe closed head injury. Texas will turn from red to blue eventually and, when that day comes, the Repubs will soil themselves whenever they think about the electoral college.

Signature

As a fabrication of our own consciousness, our assignations of meaning are no less “real”, but since humans and the fabrications of our consciousness are routinely fraught with error, it makes sense, to me, to, sometimes, question such fabrications.

Well, that is a horse of a different color. You bet, I will change my colors after all who I to talk, I’m just an old beach bum surfer. I worked for Ross Perot in 1992 and he is a Texan of great value. We nearly brought him in. Both Ross and I are too old for another run. I must admit that this last election was a great joy for me. When I became a Republican, it was under Eisenhower who preached individual freedoms. Something went very wrong with the GOP under both Bushes. I tend to blame Karl Rove for the change. I went with Ron Paul until this last election and worked very hard for Obama in 2008 and again in 2012. My politics never changed but the party threw me out. I worked for Phoenix.com and attended a Republican fund raiser on a press pass. The Arizona State group went on and on about religion and I asked a simple question (after I removed my badge) and asked if I could be a Republican if I were an Atheist. The answer was loud and clear. “Nol, I could not.” I couldn’t wait to report this to the site.