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Words with Woody – and how ageing backwards works

New York Stories: I was always a big fan of Woody Allen. Once I had the pleasure of meeting Woody at Michael’s Pub – the place where he’s known to play clarinet in a dixieland jazz band most Monday nights (over many years, even missing an Academy Award Nomination to be there). My friend and I made dinner reservations with seating infront of the stage and we happened to walk in at the same time as Woody so we chatted for a while at the bar but we could tell that he was very serious about getting started. And, as suspected he’s also a very talented musician who tends not to look at the audience. So aside from the adopted daughter marriage I have nothing but great respect for the comedic brilliance his neurosis brings to film making. Here are a few quotes narrowed down from many – Enjoy:

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”

“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!” ― Woody Allen

Do you have a favorite Woody Allen movie? My Five Favorite Woody Allen Movies – ones that made me die laughing, all genius with perfect casting in all: