It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town and he stops at the local hotel and lays a 100 note on the desk. He tells the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night. Continue reading Irish Economics!

The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the 100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the 100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the 100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers’ Co-op takes the 100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the pub.

The publican slips the money along to the local lady of the night drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him “services” on credit.

The lady then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the 100 note.

The hotel proprietor then places the 100 note back on the counter so the traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the 100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything, but the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

“I’ll be going to the most expensive clubs, take my best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day!”.

The teacher is shocked and and is not quite sure how to deal with his bad behaviour on this occasion.

She decides not to give importance to what he said and continue the lesson.

“So Susie. What do you want to be when you grow up?” the teacher asks.

A woman brings ten-year-old Johnny home from a play date with her 10 year old daughter, Mary. Johnny’s mother opens he front door is immediately confronted by Mary’s angry mother Continue reading Doctors and Patients

who informs her that: “Johnny was caught playing doctors and patients with Mary in their games room!”

Johnny’s mother says: “Let’s not be too harsh on them… they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.”
“Curious about sex?” replies Mary’s mother. “He’s taken her fucking appendix out!”

As the man threw on his clothes, he told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he got home. “Darling, I can’t lie to you.” he replied, “I’ve been having an affair with my secretary and we’ve been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock. Â Â “The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!”

A girl came up to me in a bar – she was wearing a short skirt, had beautiful breasts like ripe fruit and was drinking an exotic cocktail. Â “What would you say if I told you I was wearing no underwear?” she Continue reading Going Commando?

breathed.

“I’d say ‘neither am I’.”

She raised her eyebrows. Â “Really?” she asked, “I’m wearing none because it turns on men like you…” she licked her lips, “and gives you easy access…”

“Oh?” I replied. “I’ve got none on because I shit myself in the men’s room.”