the break-up continued

a friend recently called and left me a voicemail.

"i know you're busy," she said, "but i just wanted to check in and let you know i am thinking about you."

and in that moment i realized busy is ugly.

ugly because it told someone i love, someone i care about and miss and adore, i didn't have time for them. because, even though she may not have realized it at the time, her voicemail really said, "you don't have the time to invest in our friendship because you're doing things more important to you." and that wasn't true. but busy lies. it gets worse. how many times have you asked someone to do something, to visit or go to a movie or help you with a favor, and heard, "i'm sorry, i'd love to, but i'm just so busy this week/month/year/lifetime..."? doesn't it sting a little sometimes? have you ever felt like saying, "i am busy, too, you know. everyone's busy, but i am making time for you. can you not make time for me?" children feel it. friends feel it. husbands and wives and brothers and sisters, we all feel it.yes, busy is ugly. busy lies. and busy offends. which leads me to step number two in our break-up with busy:

2. quit using it

we have to forget the word altogether. i know there will be time conflicts, responsibilities we can't ignore the moment someone calls, and commitments we've made that really are important to us, our families, and our lives. but we must constantly choose not to use busy as an excuse for disappointing the ones we love. i will no longer respond to, "how have you been? i haven't heard from you in a while," with "sorry, i've been busy." instead, i will apologize. and i will no longer change plans because "i'm just too busy this week." instead, i will focus on making commitments i can keep, and when i can't keep them, i will apologize, reschedule, and make it a priority to ensure the other person knows i value them, their time, and our relationship, whatever that relationship may be. chances are, they were busy, too, but they put me in front of their busy. i want to put them in front of mine. if you're thinking, "this all sounds great, but i really am busy!", please hear my heart on this: i believe you, and i encourage you to go back to step one, arm yourself with the white-out pen, and reconsider where you are, where you want to be, and what you need to white out in order to get there. sisters, each and every single one of you are more important than my busy. whether i know you personally or only through this blog, you matter to me. i will never be too busy for you. that doesn't mean i will never do anything wrong, never be late, or never let you down, but i have made a conscious decision to invest my whole soul into our time here. and maybe, hopefully, prayerfully, we can reach a place of Godly peace, throw our hands up in the air and together say, "adios, busy. you no longer exist." who knew breaking up could feel so good?your turnwhen have you used, "i've just been so busy!" as an excuse for letting someone down? or, when has someone used it as an excuse for letting you down? i've been there, too, on both sides, and neither is very pretty. together, let's choose to put everyone we care about in front of our busy. they are more important. you are more important.

Girlfriend! This is awesome. I'm posting this series on FB right this moment. Great words..I'm taking busy out of my vocab!

Reply

brittany

8/16/2011 12:41:16 am

thank you so much for coming by & for sharing this series, sarah!

Reply

Deb Mc

8/16/2011 07:47:05 am

Wow, Brittany. Thanks. Thanks for every time you write and it zings right at me! I'm both guilty of this, as well as hurt by it in others. "Busy" by someone else absolutely tells me that the other things are more important and that hurts! But how many times do I say "I got busy and forgot to call you back."?

And even more important, BUSY usually reduces my time with God.

BUSY is not my friend!!

Reply

brittany

8/17/2011 07:25:08 am

i am so guilty on both sides of busy, too, deb, and i totally agree...busy is not our friend!