"Honey"
- page 4

After seeing coworkers call 85 year old women honey, and after being called honey by people my age (I'm only 23) I'm pretty much ready to puke. Do people really not know how patronizing that is? I... Read More

Sep 22, '06

I'm getting a kick out of this thread because it seems like some of the folks who thought the teacher using the "F" word in class was no big deal and said "don't sweat the small stuff" or "get a life" or "wait until you work in a real er", etc., are upset or at least see the op's point about "honey".

Interesting. :wink2:

I was also told not to call our patients endearments - and I think it is situational. The frequent flyer elderly patients are called "honey" or "sweetheart" by some of the staff and the patients love it.

However, we had an elderly man who called all the nurses nicknames and it did bug me as his intention was sexual.

steph

Sep 22, '06

I agree, in the south calling someone "hon" is just part of everyday life. It is a more layed back/familial culture. I've never felt patronized by being called hon, nor has anyone, that I'm aware of, been offending by me calling them the same. Everyone's "hon" around these parts. Now if it's some dirty old man calling me sweetcheeks, or cutiepie, that's a whole different story...LOL

Sep 22, '06

If that bothers you, don't ever move down south. The southern hospitality would kill you.

Sep 22, '06

When I was younger I hated being called hon or dear, I thought it was disrespectful and demeaning. The older I get the more I love hearing it. Especially from someone I know is a lot younger than me. I don't think they would use it if they knew how old I really am. So I see it as a positive.
One must be very careful and sensitive to how pts want to be addressed. I know I try to be. I work at a hospital that is known for its hospitality and home like atmosphere and we all call each other terms of endearment all the time and hug each other. The pts seem to love it and always comment on how sweet we all are.
If only they paid us more. The place would be perfect.

Sep 22, '06

i work on a renal ward where many of my patients are regulars who we know quite well so we do use terms like this quite alot but as a nurse i can usually work out who will be offended by it.
my co workers often use the term honey or sweetheart, i dont find it offensive at all
there are many worse things that can happen to you during your working day,and a lot worse things you could be called, often these words are five letter profanities which i could do without!

Sep 22, '06

I don't like to call my patients honey or sweetie, but sometimes it just pops out, usually when I am comforting them about something or trying to sooth them through a painful or uncomfortable procedure. I'm a mommy and those words just come naturally come out sometimes. I've never found it annoying to be called cute names, I actually like it, but I understand that others don't and so I try to respect that. But it is the same as giving hugs or holding hands or smoothing someone's hair. Normally not something I do, but when someone is struggling, sometimes they need that reassurance and personal touch. It just comes naturally as someone who is used to giving comfort all the time. I don't mean to offend and it has never been taken that way either, as far as I know.

Sep 22, '06

I tend to ask my patients what they would like to be called first names or formal when I first meet them. ALthough when I used to work in wales almost all patients were referred to by my love or babe. I have no feelings really either way as long as the patients is well cared for.

I had a nursing tutor who used to call all her pateints Cariad which is welsh for my love, I thought this was quite sweet until an elderly gentleman took offence, he wasn't welsh and thought she was calling him Curry head

Sep 22, '06

What about the word "Dear?" Does that bother you??

Sep 22, '06

It may depend on where you are. I know that down here in the south it is pretty normal to be addressed as "honey" or "sugar". While it irks me , especially when it is coming from somebody younger than me, I try to keep in mind that those endearments are a part of southern culture. I say just let it go unless it really, really bothers you. Then just ask the person to adress you by your name.

Sep 22, '06

Honey, sweetie, dear ... are common in my area. They roll off my tongue easily. They're not the first words out of my mouth, though, and I'm confident in my ability to get a patient's "vibe" and adjust myself accordingly.

Only occasionally do I feel that a (male) patient or visitor is using one of these terms in a patronizing way toward me. Either 1) immediately shifting into a noticeably more formal mode of conversation with corresponding facial expression & body language or 2) a snappy comeback ... usually "levels the playing field" and smooths things over.

Sep 22, '06

It doesn't usually bother me but coming from younger people is irritating. I had a classmate once who called everyone hun all the time! I can understand using it if you forget names at first, but she knew my name so it kinda irked me. I think it was mostly just annoying hearing the word coming out of her mouth every 2 seconds! She had to start or end every sentence using hun. My sister in law however has a major pet peeve about it! She once told a waitress (well younger than us) to not call her hun. At my current job (not a nurse yet) I've had customers call me everything from sunshine to sweety and everything in between. Doesn't really bother me unless its younger people or people my age using it.

Last edit by cad4296 on Sep 22, '06

Sep 22, '06

If you don't like being called "honey", "sweetie" don't come to Texas! You'd be in a constant state of irritation!

You can be condescending or patronizing just as easily using someone's name as you can saying honey. It's all in how you say it. If you intend to be insulting and talk down someone, it will come across that way regardless of your choice of wording.

To be irritated by someone calling you honey when they mean it in a nice way seems petty to me. But maybe I'd feel differently if I lived in another part of the country.

Last edit by LauraLou on Sep 22, '06

Sep 22, '06

Quote from LauraLou

If you don't like being called "honey", "sweetie" don't come to Texas! You'd be in a constant state of irritation!

You can be condescending or patronizing just as easily using someone's name as you can saying honey. It's all in how you say it. If you intend to be insulting and talk down someone, it will come across that way regardless of your choice of wording.

To be irritated by someone calling you honey when they mean it in a nice way seems petty to me. But maybe I'd feel differently if I lived in another part of the country.

Yeah, I'm not from the south and don't live there now. And I don't mean patients calling me honey. I'm talking about a 20 year old know it all who in all likelihood DOES mean it in a condescending way.