“Regardless of the economic climate, money and finances have remained the top stressor since our survey began in 2007,” said Norman B. Anderson, the organization’s chief executive officer and executive vice president, when the study was released.

Arguments often arise when spouses have different saving and spending philosophies, keep secrets about their personal debt, or fail to discuss their financial goals.

“Communication is very important in any relationship,” said Larry Rosenthal, president of Rosenthal Wealth Management Group in Manassas, Virginia, noting money management should be an ongoing discussion. “As couples move through life, their goals will change.”

So how should newlyweds go about marrying their finances if they hope to avoid trouble in paradise?

Share your money story

The first step is to have an open, honest talk about your finances, said Rosenthal in an interview.

Are you debt averse? Do you wish to live below your means for the first five years to sock money away for a down payment on a new house? Or, do you feel your income is meant to be enjoyed on clothes, cars and vacations?

“Talk about your thoughts on money,” said Rosenthal. “You may have different money values than your spouse.”

The more you know about your partner’s objectives, goals and financial position, the less likely you are to be surprised.

And the “money talk” can also help you coordinate on marriage goals that should involve some financial planning. For instance, do you want to have children? What will that do your household’s immediate finances and what will it mean for longer term issues, like saving for college.

How about buying a house? Do you and your spouse have a savings plan in place for that. Or charities. Is that a priority?

To merge or not to merge your finances?

Next, you will need to discuss how, and if, your money will be merged.

There is no right answer here. Some couples successfully blend all their bank accounts and finances, while others opt to keep their money separate, and contribute equally towards joint expenses, such as mortgages and utility bills.

A hybrid approach that works for many couples, sometimes referred to as the “You, Me, We” system, is to create three separate accounts — one for each spouse and one for joint expenses. That gives couples the freedom to spend their discretionary income as they choose.

“I am a big believer in each spouse having an allotment of cash money that they can spend on baseball cards or designer jeans or whatever they want and the other spouse can’t say a thing about it,” said Rosenthal, noting that solves the problem of one spouse micromanaging the cash flow. “I think that’s where a lot of fighting starts, when we don’t respect the other person’s freedom to spend their mad money.”

That said, he notes, discretionary spending must still remain within budget, so as not to drive the household into debt.

Who will pay the bills?

Next, decide which spouse will take responsibility for paying the bills.

To be clear, both spouses should have a manageable grasp on how much money is coming in and going out, but to ensure your debts get paid on time, which avoids unnecessary late fees and a ding to your credit score, one spouse still needs to take point.

Generally, that is the person who is best at managing due dates and monitoring changes to the monthly bills. But it can also simply be the person who has the time and inclination, said Rosenthal.

It is possible to share bill paying responsibilities, too, of course. Just as long as you decide together on a system that works.

Plan for retirement

Marriage may be the ultimate proof that opposites attract, but this sentiment does not carry over into retirement planning.

A long and happy marriage means both partners should prepare for life as retirees, where things like health care costs can quickly drain disposable income. (Learn more: Money wrecking marriage )

According to Fidelity Benefits Consulting Services, the average married couple, both age 65 and retiring in 2015, can expect to spend an estimated $245,000 on health care throughout retirement, a 25 percent increase since 2005. That figure assumes enrollment in Medicare health coverage, but does not include the added expenses of nursing home or long-term care.2

To that end, said Rosenthal, newlyweds should share their tolerance for investment risk. Are you age-appropriately invested for growth? Do you err on the conservative side? Are you willing to risk higher potential rewards for higher risk investments? (Learn more: Retirement and your spouse )

Squirrel away an emergency fund

Apart from a retirement portfolio, couples should agree upon a percentage of their income to place into an emergency fund, a reserve devoted to unplanned financial disasters such as sudden job loss, a house fire or a trip to the hospital. (Learn more:Emergency fund basics)

To play it safe, financial professionals recommend couples sock away between six to 12 months’ worth of living expenses in a liquid, interest bearing account – more if your job security is in question or you are self-employed.

Look forward to your joint tax return

For newlyweds who file a joint tax return, a change of marital status may allow them to keep more of their hard earned money.

TurboTax reports the average married couple who filed taxes jointly in 2018 received a standard deduction of $24,000, compared with $12,000 for those who filed separately.

Why? Many couples who file together can typically deduct two exemption amounts from their income and they may qualify for multiple tax credits such as the Earned Income Tax Credit, American Opportunity and Lifetime Learning Education Tax Credits, exclusion or credit for adoption expenses and Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit, according to Turbo Tax.

Some joint filers also receive higher income thresholds for certain taxes and deductions, meaning they can earn more income and still qualify for tax breaks.3 Of course, taxes vary according to individual incomes and circumstances.

Love may be all you need, but when it comes to starting life together as a married couple, a little money helps too.

With careful planning and open communication, couples can help ensure they reach their financial goals – and keep their happy home.

One of our financial advisors can contact you to discuss taking care of loved ones, a family business, or a group of employees.

The information provided is not written or intended as specific tax or legal advice. MassMutual, its employees and representatives are not authorized to give tax or legal advice. You are encouraged to seek advice from your own tax or legal counsel. Opinions expressed by those interviewed are their own, and do not necessarily represent the views of Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company.

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