We are all abut Justice for the Child in the UK. WHY. It does not exist. Failure to Protect our Children is rife.

Sunday, 8 November 2015

COLD:

UNFEELING-
COLD:

Hi,I
am a now single 70yo male survivor. Doing what many are doing, trying
to make a difference and trying to get our government agencies to
listen and learn from survivors. The problem is as expressed bu many
in the field, that agencies debate cases theoretically: Theory is all
well and good, but it is not reality..There is a lot that could be
done to benefit children, but we do not have the resources that
government agencies do. Legally there are many things that our
government agencies should and should not do. But they are
side-swept, in the interests if financial savings: To the determent
of the child. Children are the life blood of our future and as abuse
increases year on year so does the damage done to future generations
conception of empathy, compassion, love & judgment. Leaving our
future generations of government colder and more corrupt than the
previous. For they are no less lightly to be abused than anyone else.
Deaths as a result of failures by one or more of our peoples
protection services run in to the hundreds every year. And all in the
name of economy:

Characterization
of "Cold"Doubtless, you've had the experience of
interacting with someone who was--we'll say--"off-puttingly
stand-offish." Detached, seemingly preoccupied, and not at all
open or friendly, they seemed to hold you at a distance. And if you
tried to say something to ease the situation, their response (though
not exactly inappropriate) pretty much nullified your efforts.Or,
you may have begun a romantic relationship that started out
promising, but over time compelled you to confront the fact that the
other person really wasn't letting you in. Despite all your attempts
to "grow" the connection, to make it more mutual and
heartfelt, he or she seemed to prefer that it remain as it
began--uncommitted, relatively superficial, and impersonal. Any
natural progression toward greater intimacy (at least emotional
intimacy) simply wasn't happening. And your trying to cultivate more
patience, to cut the other person more slack, or make allowances for
their perhaps having an especially "private" nature,
ultimately didn't seem to make any difference in your feeling
uncomfortably removed from them.Hopefully, this is a relationship
you walked away from. For odds are that, in both cases I've
portrayed, you were dealing with a person who might best be
understood as having what in developmental psychology is called an
avoid-ant attachment pattern. This most useful concept--introduced
into the literature by Mary Ainsworth who, along with her mentor,
John Bowlby, represent the chief pioneers in the vital field of
attachment theory--focuses on the nature of children's attachment to
their earliest caregiver as it crucially shapes how they'll relate to
others later in life.Here, bulleted, are some words and phrases
that collectively capture--on the surface, at least--the various
dimensions of the "characterological coldness" I've been
depicting (though, of course, no single individual is likely to
manifest all these features):aloof, apart,
stand-offishimpersonal, disengaged, uninvolved; closed,
shut-downdetached, distant, remote (these traits, like so many
others on this list, actually characterize a schizoid personality
disorder, which--at their extreme--cold people can sometimes
be)haughty, or projecting superiority (though, if these
narcissistic features are present, they could reflect the
individual's outward demeanor, or self-deception, far more than
how--deep down--they actually see themselves)self-absorbed;
insulated, passively withdrawnemotionally unavailable,
inaccessible, unresponsive, indifferent, uninvestedunfeeling,
unemotional, affectionless; unsmiling--straight-faced (or
stone-faced)cold-hearted--as in "cold fish" or (even
worse) an "iceberg" or "ice queen"lacking in
empathy and compassionuntrusting, wary, guarded;angry,
hostile; criticalexcessively independent and self-reliantBefore
looking at the maternal caretaking causes of such coldness,
however--as well as its short and longer-term psychological
effects--I should briefly mention what avoidant attachment is
not.For one thing, it shouldn't be confused with introversion
(presently understood as an inborn personality trait tied to the
brain's reticular activating system). Given similar deficits in their
parenting, extroverts are no less prone toward developing this same
kind of dysfunctional attachment pattern. Rather, introverts need to
be appreciated not so much as aloof or emotionally unresponsive (as
compared to extroverts), but as more reserved, socially reticent, and
requiring more solitude. As children they undoubtedly tended toward
anxiety-driven shyness. But in time most introverts grow out of this.
In brief, introverts are hardly lacking in the capacity for intimacy.
Once they're sufficiently comfortable in a relationship, they can
show quite as much warmth and commitment as do their extroverted
counterparts.Additionally, avoidant attachment ought not to be
confused with any of the autistic disorders. The latter disturbances
are now viewed as brain dysfunctions that lead to self-isolating and
socially detached behaviors independent of the child's upbringing. By
contrast, researchers typically regard avoidant attachments--though
to a limited degree influenced by one's innate temperament--as
principally determined by the child's early home environment.