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My partner is always threatening to break up our relationship.

My partner is always threatening to break up our relationship.

Her philosophy is "Treat them mean to keep them keen". She doesn't just make these threats if we are having an argument, she also does it when things are just normal. She will say things like "nothing lasts for ever" and "if you're not careful I'm going to put you back on the shelf".

I've asked her, nicely, to stop doing this (unless she really means it), but it just doesn't stop...

And if we have an argument, she'll then say stuff like "there's a man in work who really fancies me and he's just waiting for you to mess up"

I'm kind of fed up with this, but I don't know what to do. Any helpful suggestions please!?

Turn the tables; when she says this next, tell her you just may save her the trouble. Tell her that you're tired of hearing that garbage, you deserve better treatment, and the next time she does that you will go and find someone who will treat you lovingly.

It is somewhat telling to me that you refer to her as 'partner' and not s/o, girlfriend, etc. Maybe I'm off base, but that term is a little benign to describe someone you love; I get the feeling the love is gone...could be time to move on.

One of these times, tell her to not let the door hit her in the ass on the way out...or pack your things and go. Call her bluff.

- Response by barbb, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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Sorry to hear about it but I think you shouldn't take her abuse. She obviously doesn't love you. next time she threatens, tell her to pack and go. and go watch TV, be cool. you'll see how she changes and even she stops doing it, she'll find another excuse to threaten you. You can do better...

I wouldn't put up with that. I would start doing it back so that she knows how it feels. Talk to her again and let her know you're putting your foot down on this one and if she's going to leave to just do it already and if she's not then to stop with the threats because they are putting a wedge between your relationship. Be nice to her 4 no reason at all. Ask yourself if she doesn't stop, can u live this way for the rest of your life?

You are an abused man my friend and you need to change. Try a book like "No more Mr Nice Guy" to get you on the (long)road to recovery, else you will still be in an unhappy position (perhaps with another woman) in 10 years time.

And yes, change is long, challenging and uncomfortable, but the destination makes it worthwhile.