Soulcalibur IV: Where's My Underboob?

Shocking proof that the new character, Hilde, isn't a total prude

When we got our preview version of Soulcalibur IV in the mail, we raced to load it up and savor the juicy morsels that we were certain awaited our hungry eyes. After being inundated with concept art like this, who could blame us for expecting a boobsplosion?

Sure, we were interested to see how Yoda (on 360) and Vader (on PS3) would fare amongst the heaving cleavages of Soulcalibur IV. But we were shocked to discover that there were only four playable characters on each disc, and the only female was Hilde. “Well, lets have a look at the new girl,” we thought as we cued some hot Hilde on Hilde action.

The full pouty lips promise ravishing sensuality, but the fun stops there. We had two costumes to choose from, full plate mail or an Amish-looking number that covers up Hilde’s entire neck, arms, legs, &c. The disappointment was palpable.

This might have been hotter than Hades in the 12th century, but by today’s standards it just doesn’t suffice.