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8 year relationship, he cheated with her, I am chronically ill with Lyme disease and other conditions, but I am still take care of myself for the most part. WS had been cheating on me for the past YEAR, since I moved back home (I was living in Chicago with him for past 3 years). When I moved out of Chicago, he replaced me with someone he used to work with. We separated for 2 weeks after I kicked him out of house. He called me at end of 2 weeks on the PHONE and ended things officially with me. My story below is 5 days after the official break up:

I ended up actually having a severe anaphylactic reaction from an IV vitamin infusion at the doctor's office and he was my emergency contact and he came to pick me up from the office. Apparently, he said that we had a conversation when he brought me into the house later that night. I was high off my ass on benadryl shots and he thinks "wow, what a great time to talk more about how our relationship has ended".

His true colors have shown and I am beyond disgusted. I, of course, did not remember any of this CONVERSATION because I had almost died that night. No biggie.

Then he says to contact him later in the day when I am feeling better. So I send him a text. He ignores it, like he has tended to do throughout this whole breakup shit. And of course I get pissed off because HE is the one who told me to contact HIM!

It was a Saturday night so I know he was out drinking. Then after a few more texts, he says "I'm not talking tonight. We will talk tomorrow." And this angers me even more because its ALWAYS when HE wants to fucking talk. And so I said I'm done with wanting to talk when YOU DO. FUCK IT and fuck off." Then he continues to ignore me and then calls my phone around 12:30AM, and i dont answer.

He keeps calling and I text him saying "I don't want to hear whatever pissy shit you have to say" Then he keeps calling so I pick up. But I finally cave in and answer, and he just says "WHAT?" and I'm like "what?" and I'm already crying because he's been so mean to me lately. And he's like "I came all the way down to the office to take care of you yesterday, don't talk to me anymore". I said yea, that's because you feel guilty for all this cheating shit that you have done. If it makes it easier for you to sleep at night, then go ahead and tell yourself that you're a real stand up guy, ya know? If people found out that you were my emergency contact and DID NOT come to pick me up it would make you look like a HUGE ASSHOLE! and then he just flips his lid and starts yelling at me that I am a SELFISH ASS BITCH and that I am DEAD TO HIM! He says that I hurt people he cares about! I'm like "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" and hung up. then he sends a text that says "We're fucking done" which he kept saying throughout the phone conversation. I'm like "NO SHIT WE ARE DONE you made that clear when you started cheating on me!" He then claimed that I was a selfish bitch, and I said "Go look in the mirror dude! The cheating was ALL YOU!"

Sorry, just needed to vent. It's like he is trying to turn ME into the BAD GUY so he can feel better about leaving the relationship in such a crappy way. Everything about his actions and his attitude is SO COWARDLY.

D-Day: 2/22/14, together for 8 years
Me: BS, 29, living w/chronic Lyme disease
Him: WS, 29, OW was an ex-coworker

I found e-mails between them.

Posts: 62 | Registered: Mar 2014

Smashedat58♀ 41705Member # 41705

Posted: 11:04 PM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014

What a worthless POS your Ws is. Take him off as your medical contact and take him off your consent form, too. You need to have no contact with him. You will be saving yourself some pain. Do not answer his calls, do not answer his texts. He is toxic, and you need to heal emotionally and physically. Surely you have a friend or relative that you can use for help in his place. He is like poison.

Posts: 178 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Upstate New York

LoveHerStill♂ 31504Member # 31504

Posted: 1:09 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014

^^^^This exactly. And you called it, he is a spineless coward.

Don't listen to his baiting and switching. The minimising. The blameshifting. Every single reply on the phone and texting is one of these abusive tactics. If you look at his statements, there is no communication going on, just hurtful avoiding bullshit. All of it.

Please do yourself a favor and go NC on him. You are getting nothing but brain damage and pain from it.

I hate him for you and would love to punch him in the throat for you. Noone deserves to be spoken to like that.

There is hope. Once you truly commit to focusing on yourself and letting go, it comes back, and you will appreciate it like never before.

Posts: 567 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Coeur d 'Alene, Idaho

frenchmoxie♀ 42665Member # 42665

Posted: 1:36 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014

Yes. I have been no contact with him for one week now since he said those hurtful words. I am sure he will be contacting me shortly to get his computer back. Will probably make sure to be out of the house when he stops by for that though. He has disrespected me for the last time. The sad thing is that throughout all of this madness it has been me who has done the contacting him. I know I messed up but no contact was so hard for me in the beginning of this shitstorm

D-Day: 2/22/14, together for 8 years
Me: BS, 29, living w/chronic Lyme disease
Him: WS, 29, OW was an ex-coworker

I found e-mails between them.

Posts: 62 | Registered: Mar 2014

BAB61♀ 41181Member # 41181

Posted: 1:51 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014

You are better off without the POS! I know it's tough, but it will get better! Definitely change your medical contact. I made a friend my next of kin because I don't have family nearby.

straight out of the cheater's manual. turn it around so they don't have to feel shitty for what they did. FTG!

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

Posts: 8723 | Registered: Apr 2008

Virginiagirl♀ 41656Member # 41656

Posted: 11:03 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014

You're so close to Dday. He's still in defensive, self-justifying mode. The fog, etc. Has to try to shift the blame because what he did is so reprehensible.

180 that motherfucker. Check it out in the healing library if you haven't yet.

Me- BS-43
Him-WS-42
Married 15 years, living together 20
DDay May 2013
TT ongoing
2 kids, 11 & 15
OW- old girlfriend from High School.

Posts: 187 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: utah

frenchmoxie♀ 42665Member # 42665

Posted: 1:47 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014

Virginia girl,
Yes he has turned extremely defensive and angry towards me it just doesn't make any sense whatsoever but I did obviously figure out that it's helping him to deal with the guilt that he feels and makes it easier for him to walk away from all of this. Yes I have looked at the 180 but I will go over it again. thank you

D-Day: 2/22/14, together for 8 years
Me: BS, 29, living w/chronic Lyme disease
Him: WS, 29, OW was an ex-coworker

I found e-mails between them.

Posts: 62 | Registered: Mar 2014

newlysingle♀ 38735Member # 38735

Posted: 2:27 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014

I'm so sorry and I feel your pain. I did the exact same stuff with my XH right after Dday. I kept calling, texting, thinking he would somehow come to his senses and at least apologize. Nope. Every conversation just gave him an excuse to abuse and belittle me more. I finally wised up and realized that I had to go NC to protect myself. It's been much better since. My X never contacts me either. It was always me contacting him. He was just done with me.