The easiest part of calling it off? The wedding logistics. Grace said cancelling her 250-person wedding was “the easiest thing in the world.” She called up the caterer, the florist, and everyone else and they sent “confirmation invoices” showing that the event was off.

Though there are still a few lingering reminders of the weddings that were not to be; both Grace and Rebecca get notifications about the wedding dresses they never picked up, and two of the women said they have had a terribly hard time getting their registries removed from the Internet. “I just recently found out from someone I met on Tinder that I still have a wedding website that says I’ve been married for 1,700 days or something,” Rebecca says.

Despite whatever difficulties these women have encountered, and the pain they caused their exes, they are all so glad they called off their weddings. As Grace puts it, “There’s no good person or bad person. I have to keep going back to what was right for me. It takes strength and courage to stand in this messy place and still have.”