The chemical element comprising the 'hidden mass' of the universe. Scientists have speculated for years about 'dark matter' but have recently discovered that in fact it is all stored in fat people. Fat people NEVER eat enough to become the size that they are, the extra matter contained within their foul frames is in fact composed of Lardium, chemical symbol - Ft.

The amount of Lardium in this fattie is off the scale, our instruments cannot measure it.