Articles and comments by Fadi Zanayed, a Moderate Palestinian, about the Israeli/Palestinian Conflict

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Sadiq: “It is hard to live in fear”

Just
like me, Omar left Palestine after the Six Day War in 1967. I went to America and he went to the United
Arab Emerites (UAE). He was 14 and I was
6. But this story is not as much about
him or me as it is about his son Sadiq—well maybe about them both.

Omar
was a hardworking Palestinian man who wanted the best for his children but also
did not want them to lose who they really are—Palestinian. He kept Palestine in
his heart and the hearts of his three sons.

Omar
longed to go back to Palestine, just like most if not all Palestinians living
in the diaspora. This opportunity came rather unfortunately. In the UAE Omar was a foreman of a
governmental agency in the municipality of Abu Dhabi. When his agency was privatized, the new
owners quickly turned its Palestinian labor force to Asian. Why? Asians are a cheaper labor force. The UAE had no more use for Palestinians.

So
Omar, aged 53 in 2005, tried to look for a job in the Arab Gulf states but he
was unsuccessful. Sadiq describes this as “2rza2 inkat3t”—the luck was cut off.

Longing to go back to Palestine and wanting to
keep Palestine alive in his sons’ hearts, he went back to his village, Qusra,
Palestine, located southeast of Nablus, to build a home for his family. And he did. Omar wanted to spend the last years of his
life in Palestine.

Two years ago in the early morning
hour of 5 am as Omar was going to work, he suffered a heart attack due to the depression
about the plight of his people and the financial worries of borrowing to build
his home. Lack of a medical infrastructure
because of the occupation, I am sure, contributed to his early demise. At the
very young age of 57, Omar became another victim of Apartheid Israel. You see any Palestinian who dies before the
creation of a Palestinian State is a victim of hope usurped by the lack of
peace.

Sadiq,
Omar’s oldest son, is a 25 year old young man who is in his last year of
studies at the University of Najah in Nablus studying psychology.
Having lived the first 19 years
of his life away from the occupation, adjusting to it now has been
difficult. He has a hard time
understanding others and they have a hard time understanding him. He says the conflict is within his
self-being.

He
wants to become a respectable person, wants a life without dependence on others
and no need to borrow money to live. He
wants to earn a respectable living and have enough money to take care of his
family. He wants a nice wife and a better
life for the coming generation. Now
though, he believes that the days are dark—2yam
Sooda.

I naturally ask whether he has any
hope. His answer is yes and then tells
me that those who live outside of Palestine have it better than those who live
in Palestine. I try to relieve him by
telling him the economic conditions are hurting many people but then I realize
he may not be speaking about the economy but rather about the freedom inherent
in the human spirit. He tells me that
for those who want to come back to Palestine it will be very difficult. Therefore
he wants to leave.

While I believe the people of
Palestine should continue to be steadfast and stay on the land of Palestine, I
find it difficult to tell him to stay.

His freedom of movement is
limited. Before Salem Fayyad became Palestinian
Authority Prime Minister, the checkpoints from Qusra to Nablus dotted the roads
forcing Omar and others to use the hill roads (tareq algbal
) to get to Nablus. What usually took 15
minutes to get to Nablus from Qusra, took 5 hours--unimaginable for any
American to comprehend and accept.

His spirit is controlled. He wants to provide better living conditions
for his future offspring but in Qusra life stays the same under the cruel
occupation.

His only alternative for a
meaningful job is in Apartheid Israel after he graduates next spring; but being
25 years old he will not be able to travel through the checkpoints for a
job. Apartheid Israel restricts the
movement of Palestinians between the age of 16-49 from entering for work. He will need to obtain forged Israeli
identity documents.

Before that however, he needs to
cross into Apartheid Israel through the back roads and yes sewers. Paying 500 shekels, Sadiq will be able to
sneak through sewers, bypass roads and tunnels to get to the other side of the
Apartheid Wall. He will be able to join
his brother and work as an investigator, mentor teacher or with aid
agencies. This way he can support his
mother and younger brother who is also attending college.

Sadiq next makes a profound
statement that takes me aback. He says “It
is hard to live in fear.” Fear of the
apartheid soldiers coming knocking at your door at any time of day or
night. In the book Kafir Boy, a book about living as a Black boy/man in Apartheid
South Africa, I thought I knew what living in fear was. But to hear it from a person that I can more
readily identify with, a Palestinian, that statement hit me like a ton of
bricks.

Sadiq turns to the violence that
the apartheid settlers are committing upon the people of Qusra and upon the agriculture
around the town. Apartheid soldiers aid
the settlers in their terror escapades.

He provides a website for an article
dated September 24, 2011 about the death of Essam Aoudhi, a son of Qusra, who
was shot by apartheid soldiers protecting apartheid settlers in their vicious burning
assault on one of the olive groves around Qusra. Essam was shot at very close range according
to Dr. Sameh Abu Zaroh, a doctor at Rafidia Hospital in Nablus. Others were also injured Read the article and look at over 25 pictures
from this incident. http://occupiedpalestine.wordpress.com/2011/09/24/essam-aoudhi-martyred-in-defense-of-qusra/.

As I peruse these pictures and see what
the apartheid Israeli settlers are doing: destruction of Qusra Village mosque; chopping of the olive
groves; the offensive Hebrew writings on the buildings of Qusra; the agony on
the faces of the villagers; the old lady hugging the olive tree (read my
poem: The Olive Tree Howls For Justice http://poetrybyfadizaanayed.blogspot.com/2011/12/olive-tree-howls-for-justice.html)
; the pictures of martyrs; the gunfire of apartheid soldiers; the apartheid
Jewish settlers being protected by apartheid soldiers; an apartheid settler
throwing a liquid at a Palestinian lady as he passes her by on an otherwise
empty street; and the bulldozers demolishing Palestinian homes, I reflect upon
Sadiq’s statement, “It is hard to live in fear.”

This is exactly what the apartheid Jewish
settlers want the Palestinians to think.
I am writing this article in the comforts of the University of Chicago
Hospital as I am accompanying my 47 year old brother for a medical test
relating to his cancer. My brother is
getting the best of treatment. It is
easy for me to say from this venue that the people of Palestine should stay on
the land. It is easy for me to tell them
Samood, Samood, Samood—Resistance,
Resistance,Resistance. However, this is the only answer that I can
give and the only answer Sadiq’s father, Omar, knew, for he went back to
Palestine for his children to keep Palestine in their hearts. I wish I had Omar’s courage.

While I say Samood, I am doing everything I can to expose the Apartheid State
of Israel so that one day soon Sadiq and all my Palestinian brothers and
sisters can be free of fear.

About Me

Fadi Zanayed is an author, poet, community activist and an attorney since 1985. A graduate from Loyola University with a B.S. in Managerial Accounting and a minor in Political Science in 1983, he received his law degree from Loyola School of Law in 1985. A Palestinian American whose family originates from Ramallah, Palestine, Fadi Zanayed is an active and proud member of the Arab American community with a long history of community leadership and service. They include: Founding Member of Arab-American Bar Association of Illinois, Inc.; Former Regional Director & Past President, Chicago Chapter of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee; Past President of the Chicago Chapter of the Palestinian American Congress; Past National Secretary of the Palestinian American Congress; Past President of the Chicago Club of Ramallah, Palestine; Past Member of the Board of the American Federation of Ramallah, Palestine; Past President of the American Youth Federation of Ramallah, Palestine. He is the author of Cycle of Frustration: A collection of poems about Palestine; and Betrayal, Sorrow and Tomorrow (pen name: Chris F. Wollinks).