Girl #1: I am not a slut! You’re the slut in this friendship! We agreed on this!Girl #2: Okay, fine, you’re not a slut… But you were straddling him.

–E train

Headline by: DanaLishs

Runners-Up:· “I Think She Said It Best” – Lalaith· “I Thought I Was the Slut and You Were the Gutter Slut?” – Molly· “I Was Just Evening the Score. You’re Too Far Ahead.” – Jen M.· “Mary Kate and Ashley, Drunk Again” – Mikey G.· “Now Go Back to Munching My Box” – K to that B· “With My Pinkie Out. Like a Lady.” – Courtney from Arkansas· “Yeah, but Only His Face” – Jason

Guy: We're not friends on Facebook.Girl: But how do you see my pictures?Guy: Well, there's some of your photos that are private, and others that are public. When I go to your page, which is often, I can just search through those, or go to your friends' pages. A lot of them don't have private pictures.

Guy: Yo, it’s not like a religion or nothin’. More like a nation, really. I’m tellin’ you, we got our own rules. We respect each other.
Girl #1: Are you sure it’s not a religion?
Guy: Nah. Like for example, if some guy tried to stab my friend, I’d jump in and take that blade for him. I’d do that for him.
Girl #2: That’s respect.
–B Train
Overheard by: Dominic

Yuppie #1: I admire the fact that your friends are so intelligent. Most people I speak to are single cell organisms, undergoing mitosis as I speak.
Yuppie #2: Then why do you speak to them?
Yuppie #1: They’re the only ones who call me
— Bond Street Starbucks

Drunk Claire: Steph, we’ve been best friends for, like, 15 years now. You are like, totally my very best friend, but I wish you could, like, make more time for me, you know? Like, I know you have your grandmother’s party coming up and all–
Drunk Steph: Claire, my grandmother died 4 years ago.
–West Village