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Tuesday, 7 February 2012

GOD AND I

It was dark, very dark. It must have been extra-sensory experience because though there was no light and she wasn't shining or anything close to it, I could see her. I hadn't seen her earlier, not even in my thoughts, but, I could recognise her instantly.

"God", I told her in abject bewilderment, "How can I see you in the dark?"
She looked at me with equal dumbfoundment, "I am elated that you have the gumption to realise that God isn't a He anymore. But, I am amazed that you can't realise how you can see me. You see ("what an expression", I thought) I make all rules, laws, science, philosophy, ideas and thoughts in the universe. So, I can make you see me even without the light."

Courtesy: Angel Wallpapers

I know even my wife has the same power. She too can make me see what she wants me to see even in the dark. However, what an enromous power I would have, I thought, if this woman - sorry God - were to bestow upon me the ability to see everything in the dark? I wasn't surprised when She read my thoughts and stopped me halfway in my new fantasy, "Don't even think about it; you ain't so special. Just because you call yourself sunbyanyname is no reason for me to give you extraordinary powers. First tell me, how did you figure out God is now a woman? It must be an independent thought because I didn't give it to you."

My, my, I actually had an ungodly thought. However, I let Her - God - know how I cottoned on to it (no point in having God against you), "I perceived it on facebook, twitter and blog."

"Very observant, I say" She said, "But I think I made a big mistake. If someone half-witted as you could perceive that God is a woman, soon everyone will understand it. As it is people these days don't believe in God; if they were to realise that I am a woman, all hell will break loose."

"God" I reasoned with Her, "Let them know your true face (I nearly said facebook) or profile. Your angels on facebook, twitter and blog already know. So, why not let the men know it too?"

She wasn't in a listening mood. Her mind was totally made up as most women's minds. What she said next shocked me immensely, "I am thinking of taking away from men the thinking mind."

I was flabbergasted; totally speechless. I instantly knew why She was doing it, so as to give a headstart to women in the same manner He or She had given to the men in the stone age. My first reaction was not to keep long hair lest She should reverse Time and have them (the women) go out and hunt and then drag us into the caves by our hair with their clubs resting on their shoulders. Anon I said, "We, men, are a proud lot. We would resent the loss of thinking mind."

"No, you won't" She said imperiously, "You won't even realise the loss. For ages now you have let that thingy do the thinking for you. In any case you don't use your mind much."

Mindless, I thought. Really mindless.

Next moment, poof, and she was gone.

As sunbyanyname I am used to seeing the silver lining and I spotted it in a flash. If the women were to jeer us for our mindlessness as we taunt them for some attributes of theirs, we, men won't have the mind to mind it.

P.S. This is my last thoughtful post. As She - God - decreed, soon men like me, real men that is, will have no mind to think.

"I am elated that you have the gumption to realise that God isn't a He anymore." - A brilliant line and a profound thought. And this was such a brilliant post. Thought provoking, funny with satire, just brilliant.

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Holding the Mirror

I have done a long stint in the Indian Navy that lasted for nearly thirty seven years; I rose as far as my somewhat rebellious and irreverant nature allowed me to. On retirement, the first thing that occured to me, and those around me, was that I Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (you will find an article with this title in this blog) and hadn't lost all my noodles and hence thought of my blog This 'n That.

I detest treading the beaten track. This blog offers me to air 'another way' of looking at things. The idea is not just to entertain but also to bring about a change.

Impudent or otherwise, I have never been insousciant and I am always concerned about the betterment of community, nation and the world. I hope the visitors of this blog would be able to discern it.

Previews

Now that our Raksha Mantri (Defence Minister), Shri AK Antony, has, like all politicians before him and probably after him, shown aversion to talk to his service chiefs we need to examine why is it so. Even our bureaucrats are used to putting the uniformed personnel in their place. We have reached a situation in our country when the collective neglect, indifference and aversion of the government, administrative and police towards the armed forces has made this honourable profession one of the least attractive of all professions in India for the youth of the country. (Read more in 'Admiral and Mantri Ji' under the section 'In Lighter Vein')_____

I believe that it is not just 'we are what we think'; but, also, the universe is what we think it is. Surprised? Hogwash? We often refer to it as 'magic' or 'supernatural' what we cannot understand. Those who can let their imagination take wing can 'see' and 'hear' things better than others; something that we have called ESP (Extra Sensory Perception). So, in order to carry forward this argument, what if the saints and spiritual leaders before us had discovered that senses can get us only so far and no more; and that going beyond the senses may be the way to go. That is, the expression "are you out of your senses" may not descibe you as an idiot but as a great intellectual? (Read more in 'Being Non-Sensical May Be Far Sighted' under 'Philosophy' section)_______

Navy is a true international service; it is because most often than not it operates beyond 12 nautical miles of the coast and hence in international waters called the high seas. Our counterparts from the Army and the Air Force rarely leave the country whereas we do it on an everyday basis; in almost every sailing we leave the territorial limits of the country. (Read more in 'Foreign Jaunts' under 'Navy - Nostalgia')______

We don't have to go as far back as my grandparents times; if Valentine Day had to become popular during my dad's times, how would it have been? My dad died of an accident when he was just 56, one year younger than I am now. During his days, except for in movies, couples never publicly expressed love for each other. It would be indirectly hinted rather than 'in-your-face' proclamation. There were no Valentine Day cards or other accessories. (Read more in 'If Dad and Mom Had to Celebrate Valentine Day' in 'Life is like that')______

She loved him. He loved her. There was a thick white line between their ends of the court. The match started.

First, she held her breath, extended her arm and muttering ""Love, love, love.." went charging into his side of the court. If only she could touch him and return across the thick white line. (Read more in 'Love and Fencing' under 'Stories')______

They finally found him not in a cave in a mountain but in a huge mansion in Abbottabad, a few hundred metres away from Pak Military Academy. I was reminded of this scene in Mel Brooks' Silent Movie in which they are looking for Burt Reynold's house whilst standing in front of a huge mansion with a large sign atop the house with his name on it that even the blind would have had difficulty in missing. (Read more in 'Osama, Obama, O Mama' under Opinions)_____

South Bombay prided itself in having the finest of the theatres patronised by decent crowds; the type who would be aware as well as well mannered: Regal and Strand in Colaba, Eros at Church Gate, Metro at Dhobi Talao, New Empire, Liberty and Sterling and later New Excelsior near Flora Fountain. There was Akaashvaani near LIC Building and one could watch good repertoire of movies there devoted to a theme. (Read more in 'My Young Days of Watching Movies in South Bombay' under Music and Cinema)

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Sometimes I feel life is blaséAn alluring mirage that I chase.Sounds of fun and laughter areLike gunshotsPiercing through my heart. (Read more in 'If Only' under Poems and Limericks)

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How we admire the wisdom of those who come to us for advice! Indeed, some people are convinced that rendering advice is a fundamental right at par with such other rights as Right to Speech, Right to Religion, and Right to Property...(Read more in 'One Good Advice Deserves Another' under 'Humour')_________

Recently, when we watched the movie ‘3 Idiots’, we were entranced by the song ‘All Is Well’...(Read more in 'All Is Not Well' under 'Opinions')_________

The other day, a really dear friend came home to share the evening meal. The conversation drifted to the propensity of the senior hierarchy of the Navy to get entangled in trivial matters...(read more in 'During Our Days' under 'Navy - No One Asked Me But...')_________

No, this is not the end of radio communications; Roger is the name of our Labrador retriever. Like any retriever he is happiest when he is out...(Read more in 'Roger Out' under 'Humour')