This image released by Disney - Marvel shows, from left, Zoe Saldana, the character Rocket Racoon (voiced by Bradley Cooper), Chris Pratt, the character Groot (voiced by Vin Diesel) and Dave Bautista are shown in a scene from "Guardians Of The Galaxy."

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This film image released by Warner Bros. Pictures shows a scene from "Godzilla." (AP Photo/Warner Bros. Pictures)

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Zoe Saldana and Chris Pratt are shown in a scene from "Guardians of the Galaxy."

"The Expendables 3" (Aug. 15): This one's a love story … just kidding. Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas and mixed-martial-arts star Ronda Rousey are among Sylvester Stallone's new recruits.

"Sin City - A Dame to Kill For" (Aug. 22): Robert Rodriguez and comic-book-creating legend Frank Miller team up again, with much of the cast returning from the 2005 artsy action film.

Thirteen-year-old boys get no respect from film critics. Where was the "Pacific Rim" Academy Awards sweep? No best-actor nod for Liam Hemsworth in "Thor: The Dark World"? And why hasn't there been a lifetime-achievement award for Vin Diesel's body of work jumping away from explosions in slow motion? Good news, kids, or anyone who's in touch with his inner middle-schooler: This summer movie preview is just for you. Here's a guide to this season's best bodily-function jokes, time-traveling comic-book characters and robots that transform into dinosaurs.

The excellent "Captain America: The Winter Soldier," which came out in mid-April, is the film to beat. (With eight explosions in the trailer and somewhere around 8,000 in the entire film, the Captain's "most awesome" odds are set at 5 to 2.) "The Amazing Spider-Man 2" just missed the cut as well. Not our fault that Hollywood thinks summer begins at the end of March.

'Neighbors'

Opens: now playing

Explosions: Four

Advice for a 13-year-old: The bad news: This one is rated R, and there's no time to grow even the scraggliest of mustaches to fake your way into the theater. You're going to have to rely on a really cool older brother, wait until it comes out on Netflix or make a mental note to watch it in 2018. The good news: This dark comedy about a married couple battling the fraternity next door comes from "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" director Nicholas Stoller, who has a great track record. Seth Rogen and Zac Efron co-star.

'Godzilla'

Opens: May 16

Explosions: Five

Advice: First, some history: Way back in 1998, before your parents were married, an American studio tried to make a "Godzilla" movie. Be glad it wasn't their first date because there wouldn't have been a second date and you wouldn't have been born. It was poorly acted, poorly executed and worst of all had little to do with the retro-cool Godzilla movies that have been coming out of Japan for the past 60 years. This one stars Bryan Cranston, features a classic nuclear-fueled monster, and all of the trailers look great. (Full disclosure: The trailers looked cool in 1998 as well.)

'X-Men: Days of Future Past'

Opens: May 23

Explosions: Three

Advice: Don't be thrown off by the lack of explosions in the trailer: This X-Men movie, based on an excellent comic-book plotline from the 1980s, is filled with action. The time-travel plot has Wolverine spiraling back to the 1970s, blending the worlds of the first three X-Men movies and the throwback "X-Men: First Class." The mutant-hunting Sentinels, pretty much the coolest thing in mainstream comic book history, look like Dyson vacuum cleaners. But the return of Bryan Singer as director bodes well, the story should be good, and we get new characters, including Quicksilver and Bishop.

'Maleficent'

Opens: May 30

Explosions: Two

Advice: Maleficent is the villainess from "Sleeping Beauty," but it's more likely you know her from her role in the "Kingdom Hearts" video games - a fact that would drive your grandparents crazy. This is her "Wicked"-style backstory, with a bunch of large-scale special-effects battles thrown in specifically to make your demographic buy a ticket. The title character is played by Angelina Jolie, who was our generation's Jennifer Lawrence before she settled down with Brad Pitt, became a mother 187 times over and got really boring.

'Edge of Tomorrow'

Opens: June 6

Explosions: 12

Advice: Tom Cruise is the most infuriating actor of my generation, and I'm sorry this burden must also fall on you. He was in some good movies, starting with "Taps" and "Risky Business." Then he started doing a bunch of creepy/erratic things in public. But he remained a surprisingly decent actor in his movies, so we still go to them and say, "Tom Cruise was actually pretty good!" Anyway … Alien fights. Time travel. Suicide mission. Emily Blunt in super-hot body armor. Laser battles. Imax 3-D. And then add an excellent director in Doug Liman. Be there on opening day.

'How to Train Your Dragon 2'

Opens: June 13

Explosions: Three

Advice: You were 9 years old when the first "How to Train Your Dragon" came out, and it was socially acceptable to have your parents drop you off at the theater and maybe even get a Big Mac together first. The problem? You're excited for the sequel but don't want your hormone-ravaged, cruel-minded, middle-school friends to make fun of you. See the movie anyway. The first DreamWorks Animation "Dragon" movie was solid, and they've made an effort to throw every dragon imaginable on the screen. The visuals look excellent - with no Pixar movie in 2014, this is the animated film we're looking forward to most this summer.

'Jersey Boys'

Opens: June 20

Explosions: None

Advice: Have you phoned your grandmother lately? Because Nana is probably sitting at home right now, waiting for your call. If you want to ensure grandson-of-the-year status, use your lawn-mowing money to take both grandparents to "Jersey Boys," the movie version of the Broadway hit. Here's a secret: You're probably going to enjoy it, too. Along with the music, there are stories about friendship, betrayal and the criminal underground, as the singing group the Four Seasons rise to fame and fall just as sharply. Cool old guy Clint Eastwood directs. (Look up some of his films, too.)

'Transformers: Age of Extinction'

Opens: June 27

Explosions: 12

Advice: The first "Transformers" movie was actually pretty good, though the next two provided diminishing returns. We'll forgive your bad taste and point out the positives: Shia LaBeouf is gone now, replaced by aging but dependable action star Mark Wahlberg. (Ask Mom how his career started …) We finally get to see the Dinobots, which should have been in the second movie. Bonus trivia your dad will appreciate: Optimus Prime continues to be voiced by Peter Cullen, who has provided the audio for the boss Transformer since the original 1980s series. We remain extremely skeptical as long as Michael Bay is directing.

'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes'

Opens: July 11

Explosions: Two

Advice: The "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" series reboot was surprisingly effective, and this sequel dives into the aftermath of a very bleak ending. James Franco doesn't return, but whatever. The work of motion-capture pioneer Andy Serkis (with a huge assist from the visual-effects crew) is the more important carryover. This time the hyperintelligent apes are fighting a band of humans that survived the virus from the first film.

'Guardians of the Galaxy'

Opens: Aug. 1

Explosions: Four

Advice: We had low expectations for this lesser-known Marvel Comics property, before the fantastic trailer came out early this year. Now we're convinced this has an outside chance of becoming your generation's "Star Wars." (Or is "Star Wars" already your generation's "Star Wars"?) Chris Pratt has a Han Solo thing going as Star-Lord, the leader of the ragtag Guardians of the Galaxy, who protect a powerful orb that can destroy all creation. The movie promises lots of firefights, funny lines, a violent raccoon and excellent use of the Blue Swede version of "Hooked on a Feeling." Can't wait until August for this one.