Friday, 20 January 2012

Hahnenkamm

'You are at 1665 metres above sea level. The snow-covered ground in front of you slopes away at a gradient
of 51%. You are expected to go straight down - and will probably accelerate 0-90kmph in about 3 seconds. In 150 metres the slope becomes
85%. You will take off and are likely to be airborne for
80 metres. On landing, probably
travelling at well over 100kmph, you have to turn sharp left and cross a wall of
sheet ice on a gradient of 62%.

'You have 2 planks tied to your feet and a stick in each hand
…oh, and a plastic helmet.'

Er………….. FB’s first thought is ‘Can we go home
now…………….please?’

This is the start of
the great Streif on the Hahnenkamm, the downhill ski course in Kitzbuhel, reckoned to be the
most testing in the world. There is a history of huge crashes on the course. The
Hahnenkamm World Cup race, the blue ribband event on the skiing circuit takes place this
weekend. The winner will cover the
3.3km course in a bit under 2 minutes, descending 860 metres. Maximum speed will be over140kmph. Average speed will be over 100kmph. FB is
not competing.

The start, as described above, is terrifying
enough, but it is not even considered the most testing part of the course. That comes about 1 minute in when the legs are beginning to burn and the terrain and
light change and several turns are required. Then, just to bring things to a close,
there is a huge jump on the finishing slope.

If you want to know how the legs feel during such a journey
– try sitting with your back to the wall knees at right angles but nothing
supporting your bum. Then try it with
3.5 times your body weight on your shoulders - for that is what the G-forces and the centrifugal forces do at these speeds.

Fantasy Bob came late to skiing. Growing up in Aberdeen he thought that anyone going into the
Cairngorms during winter must be mad.
Scraping the frost of the window to let in the light so he could find his rugby
shorts was trial enough. But who knows? Had he taken it up earlier he might have been a contender. The racers cover the course in 2
minutes. Were FB to ski it he might
take between 40 and 50 minutes. He would then need to lie down for 2 weeks and be subject to a course of intensive psycho- and physio-therapy. He might never recover.

Cuche

This weekend Didier Cuche of Switzerland will attempt to
become the Hahnenkammseigler for a record 5th time and to emulate
Franz Klammer’s distinction of winning it 3 times in a row which he did between
1975 and 1977. Some hattrick. Cuche is a true skiing great - see his winning run from last year here - but probably not
a cricketer...but more on cricket in Switzerland on another occasion.

At the starting gate on every run Cuche reminds himself ‘Pour le plaisir’ –
‘For the pleasure.’

That is not quite
what FB would be saying to himself were he to find himself at the top of the Hahnenkamm................