Saturday, October 10, 2009

I made an 8 day trip to paris and Frankfurt in the first week November, 2002. On board an emirates flight from mumbai to paris, via abu dhabi… Sipping red wine, served by the sexy Filipina air hostess…. after a few sips, as I felt the wine warm up my soul, I decided to launch into a conversation with my co passenger, an Indian guy in his late teens….. read on friends….

Me: hi!He: haylo

Me: anand hereHe: (showing surprise) here???

Me: I mean I am anandHe: ohh… my name is mansukh… from limbdi

Me: heyy that means you are a gujju, I am from baroda, I have passed thru limbdi many times, on way to rajkotHe: you traawell to rajkot also?

Me: yes I roam all over India, I am into sales. Nice to meet u mansukhHe: yes, very nice…

Me: are you off to abu dhabi, or will you be with me till paris? (mansukh had a habit of making a chuckling sound every few sentences he spoke, the way kids suck a candy, and he had already begun to get on my nerves…thanks to the red wine, I was managing to tolerate his whisssshhhhh whissshhhh sounds he made with his mouth. I was wondering whether his mouth produced extra saliva)he: no, I em going to peris.

Me: that’s coolHe: hay cool cool, we are same types…

Me: meaning?He: we two are going to peris, and we two say cool

Me: oh okk. Do you live there?He: no no, my nani maasi live there, I will joining her from toomorow

Me: and what do plan to do once you are in parisHe: study music, I can use the sexophone, I am a fen of kanny gee.

Me: that’s really nice, what else in music?He: actually, I want to rape

Me: (choking, with violent jerks, as the wine too got wild, and tried to enter my windpipe after hearing mansukh’s bomb blast) whaaaaatttt??? You want to rape?He: (smiling, shaking his neck with jerks) yah yah, I very much like to rape…

Me: (hesitantly….instead of asking whom, decided to ask why) but why do you want to rape?He: bcose I like it, its my ambition….do you know baba saigal?? The rape star?

Me: (getting my wine in the right pipe finally, letting off a huge sighhhh) ohhhh you mean raaaaaaap? You want to rap one day? And you mean SEHGAL?He: bingawww, you finally got it bose!!

Me: ( I thanked netaji for not being there, or else he would have fainted) that’s nice, have you done a rap song already?He: yes, I am a bataka lover you know….

Me: bataka? You mean potato??? A rap song on potato??? Are you serious??? He: yes, I want to experiment with everything, and since I like poteto much, I wrote on him.

Me: (interrupting aggressively) hey that’s great, now excuse me mansukh, I need to go to the loo… will be beck soon, I mean back soon…he: did you get excited na? You come beck, and I will complete this rape…

me: (desperately seeking god) yes I will soon…

I went to the Filipina charmer, and requested a change of seat, she readily agreed, as, till abudhabi the flight had very few passengers. I also requested one more red wine, and occupied a window seat at the rear, far away from the raping mansukh. God save me, and everyone else from such bizarre rapist…..

As I quietly laid back, sipping another round of red wine, I thought of mansukh, and the talent that he would soon unleash on the innocent Parisians. As I soon went into a gentle slumber, thinking of the lunch that would be served soon, I dreamt of the poor Eiffel tower, losing control, and actually tilting, and leaning… from the harrowing experience of listening to the limbdi-ka-rapist, and competing with its cousin, in Pisa!

hahahaha.... Hi Anand bhai, How r you? After a long time I am back and got a nice refreshment from your post. I think it is a collection from your ibibo archive. By the way... what is "Frenchie Fry" ? :)

:) enjoyed a lot ...nice to read your blog after a long gap...and your funny experiences really creating magic every where and do you know one thing the way you are expressing the whole fact is too good....

Hope you are doing well! This is Anamika Tiwari from Webneetech.com. At present we are interviewing entrepreneurs and now we are starting another section to feature (interview) bloggers and their blog on webneetech.com

We find your blog bit interesting and would like to feature your interview on our website.

I was not able to find any contact details of yours so using this comment box. Please let me know your email id or else contact us on i.webneetech@gmail.com, so that we can send you the questionnaire and feature you on webneetech.com Please visit www.webneetech.com to know more about us.

:):):)............L-O-L stuff, aanand..............:):):)..........my tummy has developed ache due to rolling in laughter..........:):):):).........really hilarious...........:):):)...........superb.........:):):)..........

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