Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Now that the cat is out of the bag (meaning Ben's AZ grandma has found out we're visiting) I can talk about gearing up for air travel with Ben at the end of October. This scares the crap out of me and it's only a short 2.5 hour flight. We're lucky that my SIL has a child one year older than Ben so we'll be borrowing items like a car seat and pack n play. My anxiety is more of breaking his routine which we're trying to set right now.

At our well baby check up today we talked about our concerns. I think his eyes are funny but I'm the only one he thinks this (including the day care provider) but instead of dismissing it, our pediatrician is going to calm my fears and have it looked at by a local ophthalmologist. Ben's lopsided head is better and he now weighs 12.5 lbs. I swear he should be bigger but everyone says it's normal. We talked about starting rice cereal soon (I think we'll do this in two weeks) and crying it out (which we won't do for a few more weeks). He is consistently averaging in the 10th percentile so he's a little small. Our pediatrician commented on how Ben is really strong so I'm really going to focus on putting Ben more on his tummy while at home.

The lack of sleep is getting to me. My husband has decided to start feeding Ben around 11 p.m. at night to see if he'll sleep longer and not wake us up. We've debated about supplementing with formula but only until we have to. I just feel guilty about work and being a mom. I feel I'm not doing the greatest job at both so after expressing this, he wants to step in and help. Thanks, Brian!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Dear Benjamin,Today you are four months old. I can hardly believe it (I think I say that every month). So much has happened in the past month, I don't know where to begin.

For starters, you're rolling. We put you in the crib on your back and when we check on you, you're on your tummy the opposite end of the crib. You're giggling too! You'll just be looking at my face and then you start giggling. You love to mimic what ever we're doing. If we talk to you, you try to talk. If I blow raspberries, you blow raspberries. If I curl my lip, you try! It's amazing.

You have also discovered your hands though I wish you'd use this to help yourself fall asleep. We often tell ppl you're eating your hand sandwich. You think your thumb tastes pretty good too. You're also grasping and holding stuff too!

Sleeping has been a challenge. I think we're going to have to cry it out but once you're asleep in the swing, you're down for a while esp if you have your fuzzy blue blanket. You're waking up two times a night which is better than three I guess. Often when you wake up, we hear you chattering over the baby monitor and then you fall back asleep. You're a smart guy so I know you'll have this thing called sleep mastered pretty soon.

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is take a nap with you. You have no problem falling asleep when you're next to me, btw.

We look forward to what the next month brings (hopefully more sleeping in the crib).

Friday, September 19, 2008

I've been frustrated with Benjamin's new habit of only sleeping in the swing. It started last week and now he refuses the crib and will only nap in the swing or the bed. We have gone so far to move the swing into the bedroom in order to not sleep on the couch. I was complaining about this when someone brought up a good point -- enjoy the stage because he's growing so fast. So I've been embracing it. Instead of trying to set him in the crib, he goes right in the swing and gets a good night sleep (along with us). We do stop the swing after he's asleep.

This is a proud photo for me as I've been working with Ben on being able to play on his tummy. He's finally mastered this but gets tired after 10 mins. As long as I put toys out, he's occupied. We put the Gymni away because we thought it was time for other toys but come to find out this is the best time for the Gynmi. He lays in it and pulls all the animals and talks. He's occupied for at least an hour.

As for me, I hate to report that I haven't been doing my best in trying to eat/exercise. My excuse is I'm too tired or I have no time. I told my husband tonight that I just need to make time no matter how tired I am so on Monday/Thursday/Saturday I'm hitting the gym for an hour. I have it marked in my calendar to head out at 7:30 p.m. Ben has been going to sleep around 7 p.m. and my husband is more than capable to helping out for an hour a night. I'll report back next Sunday. Let's hope the report is I actually went!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sleep -- I'm obsessed with Ben getting to sleep at night. Brian has been cheating and having the swing rock him to sleep. Last night, as Brian headed to open mic, I told him Ben wasn't going in the swing. Instead, Ben headed to bed with me to watch tv. Ben will fall fast asleep in his sleep sack (BEST INVENTION EVER) right next to me. When Brian came home, we were fast asleep. Ya see, Brian isn't for Ben sleeping with us except in the morning so he moved him to the crib.

Brian asked "so when can we cry it out in the crib." Good question. Most books don't recommend CIO until 4 months but I'm all for at least trying to teach the guy how to fall asleep so I'm going to try and avoid it if I can. He is smart and I know if given the chance he'll fall asleep if we set a routine.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Monday, September 8, 2008

By they, I am referring to your family and friend. What I'm referring to? How it's hard to be a working mother. This is now my fourth week back to work and though it has gotten easier to get out of the house without spit up and all the things baby and I need, the emotions of surviving on a little sleep and being productive has been a challenge. What is gone? My enthusiasm. It has nothing to do with my new co-workers, the company I work for or anyone I work with. My enthusiasm is gone because of the pressure I feel under each day (and being deprived of sleep too). The pressure of doing an awesome job at work and being creative and then coming home and taking care of Ben, the laundry, dinner and day to day stuff. My poor dog needs to be groomed. My house is filthy. I don't think the mail has been picked up since Saturday. Oh and being a good wife too. The pressure is getting to me and sometimes I have no idea how to handle it except cry.

One would think since my baby goes to bed at 7:30 p.m., I'd get plenty done but I'm so tired by then, I usually crash.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

We put together the high chair because we want Ben to get used to dinner time BUT he's also been thrusting his tongue out a lot which is a sign he's getting ready for solids!!!! I even tested this theory out by putting a spoon in his mouth. He didn't seem to mind and knew what to do. We'll see what Dr. V says when we go soon.

He liked the high chair but we sorta overstimulated him with toys, as you can see.

Monday, September 1, 2008

I've started the bad habit of bringing Ben into bed when he wakes up around 5:30 a.m. I started doing this to have more time with him and get some sleep. The past three days, we've both slept in until 8:30 a.m. It's been nice but is making me realize why he's so crabby on the days I go to work. The little guy wants to sleep near momma.