Olivia's story

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Rainbow baby Lucas Oliver

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother.She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh andLife ain't always what you think it ought to be, noAin't even grey, but she buries her babyThe sharp knife of a short life, wellI've had, just enough time

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Monday, September 10, 2012

My normal pregnancy may have just went out the door. I feel like I totally jinxed it.

This morning I saw my OB. Everything looked good except she casually mentioned I had a little protein (+1) in my urine sample. Since my weight was the same as 4 weeks before, no troublesome symptoms, and my blood pressure was normal, she wasn't too worried about it.

Which didn't stop me from crying when she started talking about how we'd be to Oct.26th before I know it and then looked at me and asked if I was ok. Pregnancy hormones, the daunting prospect of going back to that hospital, the unexpected protein, Olivia's 3 year birthday coming up, and just being tired from Luke all kinda hit me I think.

Luckily my OB is fantastic and gave me a long hug and said, "You know there is nothing you could have done, right?" Which surprisingly is one thing she's never said before, but the ultrasound tech, for my last ultrasound with Olivia--at that hospital--before I was transferred in an ambulance, said something really similar way back then. So of course that made me cry even more. And before I knew it my OB was crying too.

So that was fantastic.(Actually, it means a lot that she cares.)

She reassured me that because of my weight and normal bp, she thought things were okay and we'd make it to the end goal again. But she was glad I was seeing my MFM in the afternoon and they could retest, etc.

So I got lunch, went shopping for a short time, and headed to my high risk doctor.

Except it was just one of those days...my high risk doctor was in emergency surgery, they had no idea when she'd be back, which sucked not only because of the protein thing, but because I wanted to talk to her about when and if we would do NST's, when I would get steroids, etc. And I've only met the nurse practitioner once, I wasn't super impressed, and know others who have had a bad experience with her.

Luckily, even though my sample was clear of protein, she seemed suitably concerned about the protein from the morning, especially combined with the fact that I had gained 7 pounds from the morning and from my appointment 4 weeks ago. Sheesh. My blood pressure was borderline, 134/84, kinda high for me. But no other symptoms. They decided to order a 24 hour urine and bloodwork and went out to do the orders for it with my exam room door open, when my high risk doctor walked in, she still had those shoe covering things on from surgery. They told her about what was going on and she stopped briefly to talk to me, decided that the lab work and 24 hour urine was a good start, and that she wanted me to start monitoring this week and to go back next week. She asked if I was working and implied that if I had been, she would have pulled me out. Then she asked about my symptoms, etc.

So that mostly worked out. Got my NST's question answered (start them this week), and I'm fine with asking her about the steroids next week. I have a growth ultrasound and NST tomorrow and they'll check my blood pressure again there. I can't start my 24 hour urine test until tomorrow afternoon when I get home because I am NOT hauling a jug of pee to the perinatal center and considering I will probably be there AT LEAST 2 hours, there is no way that I can guarantee that I won't have to go to the bathroom. (For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of doing a 24 hour urine test, it works just like it sounds. For 24 hours exactly, you collect all of your urine in a jug. The jug has to be kept cold. So if I went somewhere else and had to use the restroom, I'd either have to figure out a way to "save" that urine for my jug...no thank you....or it would ruin the test if I'd already started it.) So this fantastic fun time is gonna have to wait one more day. They won't deliver or do anything drastic even if I'm spilling a lot of protein (ie. means kidneys aren't working right and a symptom of pre-eclampsia), unless my blood pressure or other things are acting up.

I think mainly, they are wary that this could be the start of something. I'm not eating the best ever, but my weight jumped up like 14 lbs at my previous appointment, and then 7 more lbs this appointment...something really similar happened with Olivia, a month before I started getting sick. However, in neither of my previous pregnancies-including the entire time with Luke being seen every week from 28 weeks on- never did I spill any protein. Even when I was diagnosed with HELLP syndrome with Olivia, no protein. (This was part of the reason it took awhile to figure out what was going on.) So, it is concerning, a bit. I'm comfortable that I'm not in HELLP, or near HELLP, yet. I feel like this baby is growing JUST FINE. He's active. I'm not having the upper right quadrant pain that I had with Olivia. I am having heartburn though, a lot, pretty bad, and even when I eat stuff that should be relatively harmless...like a banana. My MFM wasn't thrilled about the heartburn, it does go away with Tums, but my upper right quadrant pain with Olivia started out as heartburn and would go away with Gaviscon/tums for awhile too.

So anyway, nothing ESPECIALLY concerning, but nothing exactly reassuring either. I am reassured that they will check on the baby even more tomorrow, I'll have my lab stuff turned in by the end of the day Wednesday and hopefully results Thursday, see my high risk doctor again on Monday, and my OB the following week with NST's in between as well. Their radar is up, my radar is up, maybe we are worrying unnecessarily, but we'll see. I'm a little nervous how the NST is going to go with a 30 weeker, Luke was notoriously bad with NST's this early. My sister works overnights as a manager and is going to watch Luke for me since she doesn't go to sleep till noon or so, but I hope that the baby cooperates so I can let her go sleep.

I am 30 weeks and 4 days...7 weeks further than we made it with Olivia...well past "viability" and even "micropreemie". I don't think it's very likely that I'll be delivering in the next 2 weeks, unless things get crazy ugly very quickly. Fingers crossed that this is just a fluke and we can return back to our uneventful, boring pregnancy.

5
comments:

On the plus side you're at a great gestation already. Almost 31 weeks, so yay for that. On the negative side I can see how all of this would be somewhat concerning given your history. Hope you can get to your end date with no further scares!

Ugh. Oh Angie. We HELLP Mama's live in a constant state of fear once we are past our HELLP date. You have made it 7 long weeks, you are doing great. I think you are managing it all very well. I would be in tears if my doctor came in and said there was protein or if I had a sudden jump in weight, your stress is understandable. Trust that your doctors are monitoring you closely, keep the faith and hopefully this will be just an increase in monitoring for a while. I am at 34 weeks and am at weekly ultrasounds, blood work, urine analysis and bi weekly check ups. You are not alone Mama.

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What is a rainbow baby?

Rainbow baby is the term for a baby after the loss of a previous child.It is the understanding that a rainbow's beauty does not negate the ravages of the storm.When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean that the storm never happenedor that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath.What it means is that something beautiful and full of lighthas appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds.

About Me

I am a former teacher, currently staying at home with our rainbow baby. Our daughter, Olivia Caetlyn, was born at 23w2d on September 28,2009 with a tiny cry and passed away shortly after her birth. (Due to HELLP syndrome, possible pre-eclampsia, and growth restriction.) Rainbow baby Lucas Oliver was born healthy in late April, after a stressful but overall healthy pregnancy. You can contact me at angiew901@msn.com.