Do you know what it feels like to be broken? I do. It sucks. I have spent countless hours on my floor, my beautiful hard wood floor trying to figure out what I did wrong. The kicker is I'm not sure I did anything wrong. Maybe it was bad timing, maybe he wasn't ready to fully give his heart to me, maybe marriage is just such a huge step no one should ever jump in to it. Not that we were jumping, no when Radley proposed to me over a sweet breakfast of bacon, eggs and fruit that he had made special himself and served to me in bed, we had been together on and off for quite some time. A few years even. Which brings me back to the point of being broken and not sure just why he bailed on me.

Wasn't I good enough? How could he hurt me like that? How could he bail on me the night before we were to fly to beautiful Jamaica to get married? And to think he couldn't even face me to tell me so. He left me a note. Yup a yellow sticky note taped to my door that just said "sorry". Such a coward.

Yes, I'm having a pity party day! I read his interview, calling me his GIRL, geez! I'm not his girl if he won't commit, just saying. He's going to have to step it up if he thinks I'm falling for that again. "Maybe"... maybe my Ass! I know he loves me. He can say maybe all day long, but I know he loves me. I can feel it. Feel it in my heart. That's why he keeps returning, that's why I keep welcoming him back, I love him too. He knows this. I show this. But he won't admit it. One day he will. Our love is destiny. We were destined to be together from the beginning.

Did I ever tell you how we met?Ok... I was in a dance club with my gfs having a GNO (girls night out) and there across the room stood this guy staring at me. He was wearing a tight fitted black t-shirt, showing off the curve of his biceps, and faded blue jeans that hugged his arse just right. He stood staring, like I said, and he caught my eye. So I stared right back, couldn't take my eyes off him actually. Then for some unknown reason my feet hopped over to him and I was standing in front of him with my hand held out introducing myself. Nope... have no clue how I got there, all a blur. ;) Anyway, he was mesmerizing! And he smelled so good! His T-shirt was really giving the impression of some really tight abs and a chest larger than mine! Nice! But It was too much for me so I excused myself leaving him standing there. Oh I know, stupid move, but as it turned out he was persistent. He followed me to the bar to cash out and before I knew it I was sitting across from him in a booth having breakfast. :) The rest was pure bliss! Until of course, he broke me. There's an Art to being broken. It's a beautiful pain. Sigh.~Sadie