Not in Alberta! Maybe I am overreacting … Maybe I am not …

When I realized (in January) that despite my best efforts I still did not have a job and could not afford to pay Kyia’s school fees, which I had been putting of in the hopes that I would find a job and be able to pay them, I requested a “Fee Waiver” from The Calgary Board of Education (CBE). This was VERY hard for me. Between my pride and my anxiety, it made me cry that I had to “ask for help”. But there is no possible way for me to afford the nearly $400 they want for school fees. YES you read that right. $400 fucking dollars per year (PLUS the hundreds they want you to pay for field trips, and additional school activities throughout the year) for a “FREE” education. I understand that some SMALL fees (Small=$25-$50 MAX) may be acceptable but $400+ is just outrageous!! This is Canada for fuck sake. How in the fuck does CBE justify approx $400 they say noon super vision, transportation, school supplies etc….
1. My child does not get supervised at noon!! She is in grade 8 and leaves the school grounds most days. And seriously!! These pussy-ass fucking teachers who BARELY even teach kids any more can’t SHARE lunch supervision?? I respect teachers, don’t get me wrong…well I used to…but these days it seems the teachers need to be coddled and babied. They don’t teach our children the things they need. They baby them by “passing” everyone. They rarely discipline (I don’t mean straps, just detention or even a goddamn scolding!). And they cut out essential core studies … like Cursive and multiplication tables!!! The teachers need to “man-the-fuck-up” and TEACH our kids! …oh I am going off topic … The teachers are paid for their day in their salaries … They should NOT get extra to monitor lunch hours. This should simply be mandatory shared tasks INCLUDED IN THEIR FUCKING JOB!!!!
2. Transportation … I cannot bitch much about this one really… Because we live in a different school zone, my daughter does not take school buses. We chose to not send her to the school in our zone so I am not “charged” this (additional $335) fee and I buy her a monthly transit pass to get to school. However … I believe the rate for school bus transit is a bit much … I have not fully researched all of the other provinces, but I do KNOW that the majority of the provinces do not have this fee!! (Or ANY of these overpriced fees!)
3. School supplies … Oh this one makes my blood boil!! I BUY HER SCHOOL SUPPLIES!! The BUDGET Buys teacher supplies. What the actual fuck is this bullshit!! I go out and spend $100 ish dollars on the LIST that the CBE gives out for instructional supplies and then they try to charge me (Approx $150)for more!! You don’t pay … they THREATEN YOU!!! New Brunswick School fees $25 and buy your own school supplies OR $35 School supplies INCLUDED (NO transportation fee, NO supervision fee, NO Bullshit!!). If you don’t pay, you don’t get threatened, you just don’t get the school planner. FUCK YOU CBE!!! FUCK YOU!!! Greedy fucking dickface CBE!! Again, FUCK YOU!

Anyhoo, Back to the “Fee Waiver”, I was apparently never approved…Yesterday I received an email from the CBE basically threatening me. Pay or we will send you to collections!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!! I sent an email stating that I applied for fee waiver months ago…ATTACHING the original email and including a snippit from their webpage showing that I had applied. The message they sent back was that I need a “Child Health Benefits card”. Um. No. No I fucking don’t! I am not going to the goddamned government begging for fucking anything. It is bad enough that I am back on the dreadful EI. I will not go to them for ANYTHING (unless absolutely necessary… like EI because work is scarce and I need fricking money…also I paid into that shit). So I told them that (in a nicer way) I simply said, “I do not need nor want a benefits card. You have my financial information. That is all you need. They came back with basically a too bad, that is our policy. You have to go to Alberta Works and basically apply to be low-income and get that Child Health Benefits Card. Are you fucking kidding me!!! I lost it. I literally walked away from the computer and left my reply until this morning. Which was still kind of nasty…because I am still PISSED So Here is what I sent off:

“To whom it may concern, I have submitted a fee waiver and have forwarded my EI income information already- MONTHS ago!! You threaten to send me to collections KNOWING that I can NOT afford to pay these fees. I am disgusted that you will NOT approve the fee waiver just because I am not on social assistance/Welfare?! I am on EMPLOYMENT INSURANCE! I have ALREADY stated this! I do NOT need nor want a health benefits card and there is NO reason that I should be forced to get some letter calling/labeling me “low-income” or forced to get this health card thing. YOU have my financial information!! Why do you want to embarrass, belittle and STRESS people and families by forcing them to announce to the world that they are poor? I have enough stress and anxiety in my life, I sure as heck do not need The Calgary School Board adding to it! I have shared my financial woes with you, yet you want me to go to a multitude of others announcing my struggles. This process is despicable. This process is WRONG. I have sent you the information and there is no reason for you to force me to embarrass and stress myself further. I am on EI. I make LESS than 2000 per month. My rent, bills and food expenses meet and sometimes exceed that amount. Last year I made under $40,000 and the ONLY reason it was that “high” is because I did work for 6 months of the year…but still technically below the poverty line! Unfortunately I was let go in early October, JUST after an emergency trip to NB (that I am STILL trying to pay off!) leaving me unemployed and BROKE. I expect The Calgary School Board (or ANY school board for that matter) to be a bit more respectful and understanding to people in these situations. When YOU are provided with sufficient financial information to approve a family for a fee waiver. JUST DO IT! Don’t send them to the government agencies. Don’t send them to the school. Don’t force this embarrassment onto them. And for God sake do NOT Threaten them!!! Just take that information and make the darn approval. We live in CANADA. Education is supposed to be FREE!!!! Maybe it is my pride talking or maybe it is my social anxiety, It does not matter, DO not force people into uncomfortable situations. Period. Now please look into this. Thank you.”

Too much? Should I be this Mad? Am I over-reacting? I don’t think so. Why? …

Education is MANDATORY in Canada. Education is a RIGHT in Canada. Education is FREE in Canada. FREE you fucking idiots. FREE. Not $400 dollars or we will send you to collections. FREE!

So Now I apparently have to go to the principal of my daughters school and beg them to approve the waiver “in house” …what a fucking hassle for this free education. Did I mention…

Today is a VERY bad depressing day. I literally forced myself out of bed today…twice. I really just want to go back, but for now maybe some blog therapy will help….? Doubtful, but let’s give it a go, writing it out does occasionally help so let’s see…if not maybe I will colour. It all started yesterday (actually it started WAY before that, but for the sake of this post, we will say yesterday) when Finn got an interview and was offered the job during the interview…now hold on to your judgement… back up a tiny bit with a sum up, Finn was laid off 8 months ago. In the last 8 months he applied for ONE fucking job (Actually I think there may have been a second one that I harassed him into applying for), got an interview and the job. I spent every goddamn day (well every weekday and occasional weekend days) for the last 7 months looking through thousands of postings, going to/cold calling dozens of companies, applying for HUNDREDS of jobs and attending dozens of interviews and job fairs. So yes, despite my happiness that Finn is finally getting off his lazy ass, I am resentful and bitter that I work so hard and he does next to nothing. No, I shouldn’t be and I try to fight it and hide it but this is what depression AND anxiety does to a person. All I can think about is how un-fucking-fair this is. “They” say good things happen to good people… Well Fuck “them”, fucking liars. When the fuck is my “good” going to happen? I do good deeds ALL the time, Despite (currently) being classified as poor, I still give to charities and those in need, I am kind to people, despite not liking people very much, I care WAY too much. I help people even after they lie to me, abuse me, cheat on me, betray me and/or hurt me. I often go without so others have. Yet, here I am, a 40 year old fucking failure who can’t get nor keep a fucking job despite being, hard working, reliable, honest, punctual, ethical and intelligent…? (Maybe I am not that smart, maybe I am getting dumber by the fucking day, that sure is how I feel lately) and whose daughter is a selfish, ungrateful, materialistic, entitled, spoiled brat. And that brings me to today’s set off.

I had a little vent with Kyia this morning, after a horrible sleep due to “someone’s” tossing and turning and alarm at 4am (Because you know, when one needs to be a 30 minute drive away at 7 one must get up at 4… asshole). I was a bit cranky and I made a complaint about Finn not only not applying for the better paying job that I pointed out to him a couple days ago but also not even looking into it (Double pay compared to the job he just took, also better job with better company). So after that mini rant Kyia started her own (very teenage snotty) rant about Finn better apply for the other job because she is tired of being poor…Wait… what the fuck. You need to understand that while we are FAR from rich, and are actually what one might consider “poor” (at the moment, I have had some good jobs over the years, but right now I am on EI) we get by with NO help and I make sure that we live as if Finn’s income doesn’t exist, without him, we can live as we are now. (Because I swore when My own sister fucked me over that I would NEVER rely on anyone or anything again … I know, kind of petty but you don’t understand how horribly I have been hurt, betrayed and ripped off by my own family…over and over…So no one ever again will have me in any kind of state of dependence and invulnerability). My daughter gets everything she needs and almost everything she wants (which granted, has been a bit less the past few months). Despite being on EI for the better (worst?) part of the last 2 years (wait before I start this list, remember that a lot of this was purchased while I was working in decent jobs and with savings and such. Don’t you dare judge me and what I spend MY money on!!). Her entire wardrobe is Lulu Lemon, Bench, Nike, Roots, Converse, Thrasher, Brandy Melville, Pink etc… you get the point, all expensive name brands. She has her own custom built computer in her room she has a brand new phone, an ipod and TWO UE Mega-booms!! She HAD 2 tablets but destroyed them with her destructively jamming in the charger this also happened with 2 of her phones and yet although I refused to replace the tablet the second time, She always manages to get a new phone. She goes to ALL of her school events, which ALWAYS cost money, I buy her a monthly bus pass so she can attend the school her friends go to which is not in our district, I bought her hundreds of dollars of art supplies because she wanted it and she never touched it (this has actually happened with many “fad” things! …We have a Wii U so she could play Zelda and wii-fit, she doesn’t touch it, and an Atari – the new one with 101 games pre-loaded, because she wanted it to play frogger, she hasn’t touched it). I drive her all over hells creation because her 2 best friends live 20 minute drive away from us … in opposite directions!! I give her money whenever she needs it and almost always when she asks. Our fridge and cupboards are ALWAYS filled with food, good fresh food. She has her own space heater in her room in case she gets cold and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. FFS. So I snapped at her, I actually forget exactly what I said but it was something like “I am sorry if this life I have fought to provide isn’t good enough for you, but too goddamn bad!”

She had the fucking nerve to continue with “but I haven’t got anything new in a long time” … Christmas which brought in THOUSANDS of dollars in new clothes was less than 5 months ago!!! AND EASTER was just last fucking month (granted, Easter is a lot smaller, she did get new “roots” shorts and socks and the Atari)!! I lost it! I yelled. I literally yelled at her. Sure I raise my voice at her at times, but yelling is a rarity. I was so fucking mad that I called her selfish, I called her ungrateful, I called her selfish again, I called her materialistic and I called her selfish again. I freaked. And when I realized that my parenting skills of trying to raise a kind, thoughtful, Grateful, appreciative, daughter failed, I stormed off into my room, slammed the door and stayed in there crying for hours. I didn’t even walk her to the door when she left for school. I didn’t give her a hug and kiss goodbye. And I didn’t tell her I love her. I sat in my room and cried. I cried in disappointment, I cried in failure, I cried in depression. And then of course I started thinking about all the things that make me a failure and I cried some more. Of course it is my fault. I go without so that she can still have this stuff. I go without so she can have her lulu lemon tights, and roots jogging pants. I go without so she can have her Pink sweaters and Brandy Melville shirts. I go without so she can take the bus to the school she wants. I go without so she can get drives to her friends. I go without so she can have a phone. Maybe I gave her too much. Maybe I spoiled her too much. Now all that matters is her and her stuff. I spent the last 13 years suffering through hellish stressful days and shitty jobs. Suffered immensely just for her to become selfish and ungrateful. I did this. I can’t even express my disappointment in both her and myself. I can’t even express my hurt. I know she is only 13 but she watches me struggle every day and still throws being poor in my face. I can’t even. I just can’t. Because I am not depressed enough and I apparently don’t feel bad enough about myself and I don’t feel useless enough. I have never been so disappointed in my fucking life. I sit in my room and cry because I thought I raised her better. Guess not. I guess all my efforts have failed. Failed. Just like me.

So what do I do now? Is there still time to save her from becoming this person, this selfish and ungrateful bitch (NO, I am not calling my daughter a bitch, dumbass, I am asking how to stop her from becoming one!). Do I clean out her room, taking away everything that she holds dear, all of her expensive “stuff” INCLUDING her clothes and phone? Maybe ONLY shop at Wal-Mart and Value Village. Shall I give her the worst Christmas and Birthdays ever by giving her nothing? Grading present? NOPE! Shall we not go see another movie or not another meal out? Shall I transfer her to the school in our district so she can walk or take the school bus and miss all of her friends? Shall I make her live off of shitty ass cheap food? Corn flakes, Kraft dinner, Mr. Noodles and hot dogs EVERY day? No more drives. Anywhere. No more comping trips or day trips. What? There is a new “item” she wants. NO! FFS. How does a depressed parent, who can barely get out of bed teach a 13 year old to be appreciative … especially when the depressed parent feels like she has nothing to be grateful for most days …

Oh how I love to Rant and voice my opinions. “Young, Fit, Construction Personnel Needed ASAP”. Do YOU see anything wrong with this? Maybe I am over-reacting with this one and acting like one of those “offended by everything” assholes, but for some reason this just pissed me the fuck off.

I get that they don’t want a 95 year old who can barely lift his head let alone a hammer and I get that they don’t want someone who can’t physically do the job, but this heading is screaming “if we don’t hire you, make sure you sue us for discrimination!

” The “Young” part really gets me. What exactly do they consider young? Oh wait, IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! if a person can physically do the job, whether they are 20 or 50 years old does not matter!! Maybe it is because I am getting older that this is pissing me off so much. Companies are not “allowed” to age discriminate, but they ALL do! They lie about it but they do. Everyone want the younger person, the younger person has the potential to stay longer (but companies are stupid, it’s those of us that are a bit older that will stay, we are more likely to want to “settle down” with a long term career). But to actually advertise for a young person … oh fuck, that pisses me off!!! And “fit”, I “kind of” get this, but not entirely, I get that one has to be able to lift a lot. moving 2x4s and drywall etc. But instead specify “must be able to carry sheet of drywall”or 75 lbs or whatever. There are many “unfit” people who are more than capable of doing construction work and DO IT WELL!!

Here is what one might decipher from this heading alone. The company is age discriminating (that is illegal!!!!!) what other illegal things do they do? The company seems to be assuming that only young and fit can do construction work…we all know that is NOT true, I am sure we all know some excellent construction guys or gals that are not “young” or “fit”! The company probably wants a man, I mean they specified young and fit. They are already age discriminating and physically discriminating (if that is a thing), why wouldn’t they be sexist too? Why wouldn’t they have the mentality that women shouldn’t do men’s work, women aren’t strong enough or “fit” enough. The Company appears to be looking for eye candy … come on Young and fit? This sounds like an advertisement for a dancer or model.

Ageism

I know 50 year old people who are more “fit” than some early 20 year olds!! I am utterly disgusted by this posting and I hope legal action comes to this company! I really do. As a 40 year old woman with a background in the trades, I too am tired of being passed over by younger, fitter, men. So to this company, and all others with this mentality, I say FUCK YOU! I need to wrap up now as the more I write, the more pissed off I get. So to get over it, I complete my rant.

This company, as far as my opinion goes, is a lawsuit waiting to happen. I am disgusted and will never apply for a job through this company, I would never work for a company that is so blatantly discriminatory.

So I have a new job, JOBHP. I loathe it … almost as much as I abhor Sean… well actually it is not the job I hate so much as it is the psychotic abomination that is my boss. I have been at this Job for just over 3 months, just over half way to my probation being over, long enough to have my anxiety and stress level through the roof. Yes, you read that correctly 6 months probation period … who the fuck does that? I have it figured out though, they make it 6 months hoping that if you make it 6 months with your mouth shut that you will just stay that way… HAHAHAHAHA. Boy, is that cunt in for a treat. This mouthy bitch is keeping a log of it all and will reveal it all the very moment her probation is over. That deranged moron should not be working in any position that gives her “power” over people and I will make it my mission that one of us goes… and with the records I am keeping, there is a very good chance that will be her.

Ok, we need to give this controlling, bullying, vindictive cunt a name. Let’s call this horrific psychopath boss of mine, Andera. For my own personal reasons, this name fits this malicious, demanding, narcissistic personality more than (almost) any other I can think of. So Andera it is, but keep in mind I may still refer to her with any number of other vulgar names as she fits them all).

So I suppose you are wondering why I am so hateful towards this despicable, harassing, imbecile. Well It is a very long story, 71 pages of journal entries long. yup, in 16 weeks I managed to muster up 71 pages. Some days had one entry, some had 5 or more, but nearly every day had at least one. Now, not ALL the entries are about Andera. Most of them, I’d guess about 9/10, are. The few entries not involving Andera are about the arrogant ice queen’s little princess minion. Let’s call this pretentious brown-noser, Elise. I am not going to bore you with the entire Journal typed out, so I will sum up as best I can.

Andera spies on and micro-manages everything we do, especially Suzanne. Suzanne is under a microscope. Andera has demanded permanent access to our email and our insists we give her our computer passwords. She bullies, harasses, yells at and belittles everyone and anyone. Andera has actually told us that we are not to talk to or ask questions to anyone but her. She takes credit for things others do. She is rude, ignorant and condescending. She is unprofessional, disrespectful and inappropriate. She blames people for shit they didn’t do, especially Suzanne (and the girl who was there before me). She scolds, blames, and treats us like we are in preschool. She is hateful, vengeful and and an all around selfish cunt. Some incidents to back up these statements ….

On day 2 I started to realize what I was in for when the Battle-ax basically told me and … oh let us back up a teensy bit. I need to tell you about some other important folks in this testimony… There is Suzanne. Suzanne is the main target of the cold blooded and heartless Andera. Suzanne thinks very differently and has a different way of doing things than Andera. Andera HATES it. Suzanne has been with the company for 3 years. Then there is Elise whom I mentioned before who has been with the company almost 3 years. She is a lying ratfaced asskisser. Brenda is our veteran. She has been with the company for 22 years. She is a bit of a character. She talks loudly to herself and it usualy involves cursing, which makes me giggle most of the time. She is a great person and tells intriguing stories of “back in the day”. She too very much dislikes Andera. Tonya was hired the same day as myself. She is pretty cool. But is a little too timid with the whole Andera situation. She is afraid for her job, and I get that, but I plan to speak up as soon as the opportunity rises, I don’t think Tonya ever will. This is our direct “Team”. We have many other co-workers, but this is the “team” that works under the Monster

Ok, back to my story….

On day 2 of working at JOBHP The bossy Andera decided to basically tell Suzanne and I that we are not to talk to each other. Seriously! We were chatting a bit while working (Literally, a bit. We were talking very quietly, and just started to talk, about 30 seconds in) and that idiot told us we were chatting too much and weren’t focusing enough! Yup. That Jerk made me realize immediately that I disliked her very much … It wasn’t long after that when I developed a hatred for her that I have felt for very few. (Yup. My hatred list jumped to 4.)

On MULTIPLE occasions, while Suzanne was on the phone, Andera would come rushing out of her office and actually interrupt and yell at Suzanne. This also happens when Suzanne is speaking to someone in person. On a many occasions, if Andera hears anyone speaking with Suzanne, Andera has come running out screaming. For example, once she came running out and yelled (in the middle of Suzanne explaining a task to me), “What do you think you are doing!?” Suzanne explained, Andera snarled and walked away. Another time, the same rushing out only this time when Suzanne explained what she was “teaching me” Andera Yelled “NO!” and then explained EXACTLY what Suzanne just explained. One more. Same beginning scenario, Andera ran out yelled “what are you doing!?!” Suzanne explained. This time Andera told me her version of the “lesson” which was the most confusing thing I had heard to date. She (Andera) told me on multiple occasions to not ask Suzanne for help because the different explanations might confuse me. I swear to god! Does she think I am a fucking 3 year old? Does she thinks EVERYONE learns the same? Does she think I am a fucking moron? What an ignorant cunt!

While we are on the topic of that mindless moron treating “us” like 3 year olds … I was speaking to a co-worker and he confirmed a (yes or no) question I had. Andera, standing over my shoulder (as she does with most of us as soon as she hears voices), said to me after the co-worker left, in a VERY condescending tone, “Did you understand his instructions?”. I honestly think I looked at her like she had 3 fucking heads when she said that, I mean really. I did respond with “umm Yeah, considering he didn’t give me instructions, I asked him a question” She made me explain every detail of the conversation and then said, “well don’t you ever assume anything, you come and ask me and me only everything”. I can’t make this shit up.

She has EVERY aspect of our jobs controlled and monitored. This retard is continuously telling us how to do things … She makes no sense, she has no idea what the fuck she is talking about. I am damn sure she fakes her way through her own job. She literally tries to tell us how to do things she has no idea how to do. She might as well say, “This is how you get up this hill, Ride your bike backwards while closing your eyes, oh and use your feet to steer, your head goes on the seat and you use your hands to pedal”. Yes she IS that bad.

This Psycho, hides shit to “test us”. No joke. One time I spent an hour looking for something only to go and ask her if she had seen it, in a panic that we lost it, and her exact words were ” Oh you passed my test, I want to make sure you are coming to me” Yeah…She regularly wastes our time. pretty much daily.

She promotes and demands “tattling”. Seriously. this idiot has “secretly” asked everyone to “tell her” if they see anything out of the ordinary, wrong or not in the right place… usually she is referring to Suzannes work. Funny thing is, we only tell her things if we absolutely have to as a last resort, and if it is about Elise, she laughs it off but if it is about ANYONE else (ESPECIALLY Suzanne) she loses her shit!

We had a client come in for a meeting and a tour and as they were leaving she basically told them we were too stupid to write an email. Yup. Insulted her “team”. To. A. Client. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! She actually said, loud enough for us all to hear, in her fake customer flirty voice, “I am training them to write emails, Not one of them have any concept on how to write an email for our customers.” She went on and on about it with them for a good 10 minutes. Let me tell you that this made her entire “team” PISSED OFF!! (well except Elise who lives in a bubble and worships the ground Andera walks on). Can’t write a fucking email. I can write circles around that ignorant moron. And I bet so can EVERYONE else on her “team”. She is a cold-hearted bitch and portrays this in her blunt, cold emails… just saying. I was so livid that I had to leave. I had to “go to the washroom” for a good 15 minutes just to calm down and not flip out screaming at that “Hey look at me, I am soooo smart and everyone else is below me” twit. Yes, this one still gets my blood boiling. I might also add that this specific client is one of MY clients and she refused to even introduce me (this complaint might sound a little juvenile, but it really annoyed me). Now I get that because I am new she maybe didn’t want to tell them I would be handling their account … but a “Hey this is so and so, she is training and you will likely be hearing from her too”. But let me tell you, she made sure her little suckass Elise was in there with an introduction. My account, but Elise gets called in for a formal introduction … makes complete sense.

This one still gets my goat too. I got scolded for providing an excel file with pertinent information to a co-worker. An excel file which I keep track of stuff that the co-worker needed. Sure he could have looked up the information in the system, but why when I had it all right there with the click of the “attach file” button. He asked for some of the info. I did a snippit of the information he needed and attached the entire file for his convenience to manipulate it as he needed. That ignoramus actually came to my desk and scolded me (Oh, don’t forget she has access to my email account as she demanded on day 1). She seriously said ” He has the system and can look it up himself!” when I replied with, “Well I already had it and I thought it would be more convenient for him…” she cut me off and yelled “I said he does not need it” and walked away. Who the hell scolds someone for “going above and beyond”????!!!!!

Suzanne and I went out for lunch and got back 4 minutes late. we took 34 minutes instead of 30. OH MY GOD!!! Call the police we are horrible criminals! right? Seriously, that was damn near her reaction. (let me add a side note … We are ALWAYS careful with breaks because we know how Andera is. Sure we may be a minute or 2 late, or early but we are all always in the ballpark (except Elise who takes multiple breaks that are ALWAYS over by at least 10 minutes and who lies about us … yeah I took a 20 minute morning break once and she told Andera that I had been gone 45 minutes.) ALSO, I come in 30 minutes early and Suzanne usually stays 20-30 minutes late. Neither of us take our afternoon breaks, so it really should not matter if we are 4 minutes or even 10 minutes late from lunch, but we usually aren’t). So Andera did make a big deal of it demanding that everyone pay attention to their break times. Breaks are 15 minutes ONLY and Lunch is 30 minutes ONLY. Not a minute more. So guess what, My computer now does not get touched until 8 am I take 30 minutes for lunch. two 15 minute breaks and finish at exactly 4. FUCK HER.

This was the most appalling incident that happened to me that I can recall. It may seem minor and simple to you but I don’t think I have EVER been so angry in my life (not including with Sean … He makes me angrier than anyone ever could, because he hurts my baby!). That Ignorant, high and mighty, CUNT during her unnecessary daily morning meeting (yes she has a meeting every morning and wastes about 30 minutes of our day talking about shit she does not need to talk about) said to me … oh before I get there let me tell you, I am an introvert, I do not like to “stare” at people when they are talking and I do not hear all that well. So when taking with someone one, I will often fight my urges to look away and watch their lips, putting the lip movements with their words allows me to “catch” what they are saying. If in a group setting or some setting where I can not clearly see lips moving I will aim my ear more towards the speaker and listen. How I listen actually doesn’t matter, this fucking bitch had NO right to “call me out” when I wasn’t looking at her during her morning “sermon”. Oh yes she did! She singled me out and told me to look at her when she is talking. I kid you not. AND THEN!! When she was about to show a paper she had, she shoved it not 6 inches from my face. It took everything in my power not to punch that goddamned cocksucking whore in the fucking mouth. I wanted to hurt her real bad!! I still start to shake thinking about it! I bit my tongue… real hard. It hurt.

The creepy fucking lunatic stalks us. I am not joking. EVERY time someone leaves their desk for any reason, she rushes out demanding to know where we are. EVERY break I have (except when she was on vacation) she comes into the lunch room, looks around and leaves. She stands at the door of her office and around corners listening to what people are saying. She stands over us when we are on the phone. She eaves drops on anyone and everyone. She is the creepiest creature I have ever encountered, and I have encountered some creepy mother fuckers.

Suzanne has gone to HR on multiple occasions about the way Andera treats her. Nothing has come of it. Andera gets a “talking to”, she is fake nice for a day or 2 and then it starts all over again and gets worse each time. In retaliation, Andera put Suzanne onto probation. Some program that basically says “if you don’t do as I say I can fire you. Muahahaha”. This program is complete bullshit. EVERYTHING on it is shit NO ONE does (Yes Suzanne showed me the paperwork). Everything on it is NOT priority stuff. It is nothing more than Andera saying “oh yeah, you want to go to HR about me, take that!” So with Andera breathing down her neck even more (which I didn’t even know was possible), Suzanne went back to HR, this time with a very formal harassment complaint in which she made sure Andera’s boss got a copy too. HR HAS to investigate now!! BAM! Because I keep a journal, I gave Suzanne exact dates for some incidents that happened involving her. This is in the works right now and I hope beyond hope that I get interviewed! Sadly, Psycho-Andera has taken this harassment to an all new level since the claim was filed and she is treating Suzanne even worse! She is one fucked up individual … One would think that with a harassment claim filed against you, you would be nicer and suck up a little … Nope .. she is worse.

I am sure you are asking yourself why the hell I have been putting up with this bullshit and I assure you I ask myself this EVERY DAY. I come up with the same answers every time.
1. My probation is 6 months, during those 6 months that cunt can fire me just for looking at her the wrong way.
2. The are minimal jobs out there right now. I HAVE been looking. Everyday.
3. I actually like EVERYONE else that works there (with the exception of little miss “I am better than you” princess minion, Elise. I don’t care much for her).
4. I don’t hate my job (I don’t love it either…), I hate the environment in which that drama queen and her princess create.

I think one of the things that bothers me the most is that EVERYONE sees it (Except her superiors, she is all fake and flirty when they are around) yet no one says a word. Andera had been this way long before I came along and no one has spoken up. Suzanne has gone to HR and Brenda has gone to HR (So I am told) and yet this woman still has a job? There are dozens of people who see what she does, hear what she says, and knows how she is. She bullies even those outside her department, yet No one speaks up. I am confused… These are people who have been with the company for many years and they are too afraid, selfish or whatever reason to say enough is enough and put a stop to her harassment and bullying. I know why I am quiet right now, but that quietness WILL end when my probation is up or when I just can not take any more … or when/If I am interviewed for this harassment case.

I am convinced that if she is not fired from this harassment claim, when my probation is over, one of us will be leaving JOBHP…. If I can make it that long…

Saw this one that a few of my friends posted on their facebook page (or a similar message) recently and it got me quite riled up.

FIRST of all, if this is how “you” feel, and/or if “you” need to say this, and/or if “you’ do this or act like this… then the reason “we” don’t talk anymore, is “YOU”. You are simply a foolish egotistical jackass who does not deserve “my” friendship. (I am using you, we and I/my/me generically)

Second, all this is saying is the person posting it is a whinny ignorant spoiled brat stating “if you don’t have to, then neither do I”, like a damn 3 year old. Seriously say the following out loud with that nasty, snotty childish tone in your voice “fine then, I am not your friend anymore“. Did you say it out loud? You sounded like a fucking idiot, just like that “meme”/”quote” sounds when you post it, as that is essentially what you are saying.

Third, just because he is an asshole doesn’t mean you need to be one, just because she is a snob doesn’t mean you need to be one, just because they hate doesn’t mean you should. Just because one person is not personable doesn’t mean you should be too. Some people are not a “people person” Some people are not social. Some people are hermits. Some people have social anxiety. Some people are extreme introverts. Some people NEED other people to contact them as they just “can’t” for one reason or another.

My 12 year old daughter’s father says something like this to her. Something along the lines of “Well, you never call me either.” REALLY!!! You are her father, the parent, you childish sack of shit (the deadbeat has been saying this since she was 3)!! I better not get started on the deadbeat, he is a whole other story and a lot of venting and ranting.

I, over the years, have gone from an extrovert to an extreme introvert with high social anxiety. I do NOT contact anyone as I “should”, according to social standards. But I am not a complete shut-in and if you call, I will (sometimes) talk (especially if it is urgent), if you invite me, I will often go, If you text, I will answer. People drain me and wear me down. Interactions often cause me panic and anxiety attacks. Some people (Myself included) need to mentally prepare themselves for even the smallest of interactions. A simple phone call can put me into complete shut-down mode. A minor change in plans can ruin a whole day. A surprise visit could shut me in for days to recover. (I say can and could, as it may not always happen, but it has and likely will again).

So think about this, the next time you are acting like a selfish, spoiled child … Perhaps the person is not contacting you because they have an illness and they just cannot, perhaps they need you and you are too wrapped up in your own self-entitlement to inquire and care, perhaps they are having panic attacks right now, wondering why you won’t call, perhaps there is anxiety rising at this moment as the person is worrying about what they did wrong to make you not care … or perhaps the person is not contacting you because they realized you are a self-centred, narcissistic cunt.

IF you care about a person, YOU will contact them, whether they call you or not, whether they return your calls or not, whether you “hang out” or not … unless your both filled with social anxiety and have trouble socializing, in which case, it will happen as it happens and NEITHER of you will stop caring… But that is a whole other situation.

PLEASE DO NOT PURCHASE ADORE ORGANIC INNOVATION PRODUCTS EVER!!!

Adore Organics Innovations Kiosk, Market Mall, Calgary, Alberta, Canada, March 30, 2016. I was lucky enough to be broke that day and the sales guy almost made me feel guilty for being broke (like being unemployed doesn’t make me feel bad enough!). As soon as I walked away I snapped out of it and then decided to do a little research on the company and here is what happened during my visit …

As I walked by the Adore product Kiosk, the lovely, young, and handsome man started to offer me a sample, I specifically said, “no, thank you, I am not interested” as I do every time I am at the mall (been burned before by these kiosks), they are consistent and pushy, to reel me (or you) in, the very smooth talking “Brazilian” (He was NOT Brazilian, pretty sure he was Israeli, DAMN sure he was Israeli), commented on my reebok sneakers “oh where did you get your sneakers, my sister has been looking for reeboks all over and cannot find them. May I take a picture to show her?” I figured this was harmless enough so I agreed. He of course immediately started “chatting me up” and prying for information (after getting a pretty good chunk of back history, he said I reminded him of his sister, who was also a struggling single mom and my skin was exactly like his girlfriends used to be until she started using Adore products (note that the girlfriend did not come up until I mentioned boyfriend, these people are smooth and manipulative and will “pretend” to be single or in a relationship or whatever based on what you tell them)) and eventually (after many compliments, and life comparisons) had me convinced to sit and have a free sample and consult (He never did take that picture of my shoes).

The chair is set in the kiosk so that you are “trapped” in a very small space, Counter space on either side of you and your sales person “blocking you from the front side, making it so you cannot easily leave.
He started with an exfoliating facial mask on my left cheek and talked and talked about its “benefits” and “healthy properties” and that it is organic and natural and made with diamond dust and something about gold flakes and so on. Continuously commenting on my skin, complimenting me and keeping up the personal talk and questions. He informed me that the price is $400 but I can have it for $200. I informed him that I cannot afford these products. But he moved in closer and continued to introduced a facial milk that he put on the back of my right hand, and again stated all the benefits and such, this product was $200 and I could have it for $159, I stated “I still cannot afford these things, I was laid off a few months back and am living on EI, My EI check does not come in until next week, perhaps I will come back then.” He said that this was his last day, because he was going to Vancouver, but he would give me his business card and I could call him anytime and he would arrange a deal for me. Ok. As I started to get up, he brought out the lotion, And subtly forced me back to sitting, telling me how beautiful my skin was and how much I needed to protect it with this beautiful product (I have bad skin by the way, oily, red blotches here and there, constant breakouts when I am under stress, age spots here and there and so on). He put the lotion on each cheek to show how much better it absorbs if I use the exfoliating mask first … I didn’t clue into the trick here, but …
When he did the same on my hands to show me how much better it absorbs after using the “milk” I caught it.
1. He puts twice as much on the non-treated hand.
2. On the treated hand, he very quickly, and subtly wipes most of it off and then “rubs in” a fraction of the amount put on while on the non-treated hand he not only “rubbed in” the amount he originally put on but he also uses the amount he pulled off the other hand leaving the lotion not fully absorbed.
This product is normally $200 and I can have it for $99. I remind him that I still have no money.

He pulled out his phone to show me some before and after pictures of some of his “personal” customers, he showed me pictures of 4 different people, before and then the 4 weeks later … Funny thing is, all 4 of them had the exact hair style, pose and clothes in both their before and after photos … suspicious? Photoshop? I say definitely!
This process continued (for 45 minutes!) until the $400 exfoliating mask was only $49… for me only, just today and I had to keep it secret and never tell anyone. I once again (for the 7th or 8th time at this point) reminded him that I am broke until I receive my EI next week, but if he gave me his card, I would come back next week and purchase the exfoliating mask. His response blew me away, he very coldly and “snippy” says, as he FINALLY stepped out of my way, “I just remembered, I do not have any business cards left“ and then he turned away from me. This man went from the sweetest, most personable attentive man to the coldest and rudest in a microsecond. If there was ever a chance that I would purchase an Adore product, not only is that chance gone forever, but I will make it a point to share my story with anyone and everyone to make sure they lose business! I was disgusted with their conniving tactics.

These sneaky people make you feel like you are the center of the world, they make you feel like you need to give them your money, they make you feel like you cannot leave without spending a lot of money on worthless products. They lie, manipulate and scam you. They pressure you. They are bullies!

As I mentioned above, As I left, I decided to look into them …. And then after hours and hours of research into this company I have concluded, THEY ARE A SCAM!! Their whole outfit seems to be fraudulent! This seems to be part of a “ring” of Israeli “kiosk companies” that prey on “innocent” and “naive” people. Their staff are “allegedly” working illegally and they are “allegedly” laundering money back to Israel … WTF!! Their are THOUSANDS of “pages” regarding these companies, and their BAD businesses. Go Google that shit!!

Side Note “they” did get me a couple times. I still have my “$600” Royale hair straightener that I got at an amazing price of only $300, 3 years ago from a kiosk at the Deerfoot Mall. It is an OK straightener that I only use once in a blue moon (maybe once every couple months), but worth that much money? Hell No!!! Does it work as well as the one the salesman used on my hair to make the sale? Hell No!!! They got me another time and conned me into purchasing a very expensive Seacret nail care kit for about half price, I do not recall exact prices of the nail kit as it was 7 or 8 (or more) years ago. They offered “free replacement nail files for life” … uh NOPE! Not even one replacement!! Their “verbal” agreement was a crock of shit. A short time later, they are gone from that location…surprise, surprise.

PLEASE DO NOT PURCHASE ADORE ORGANIC INNOVATION PRODUCTS EVER!!! OR ANY OF THE PUSHY KIOSK PRODUCTS FOR THAT MATTER!!!!

When reading reviews, remember that I would bet my life that most, if not ALL, of the “positive” reviews are “paid for” and/or fake. Their stuff rarely works (as well as they claim) and is NOT worth the money they ask for!!

Shameful Tactics: Read the comments too! No Refunds on high end, top of the line “guaranteed” products?

Complaints board: these seem to be all from Las Vegas but still the same company … all over North America (all over the world?)

Firstly, Denmark AVERAGE Minimum wage is DKK 110, (DKK is the currency of Denmark the “$20” would change daily with the exchange rate in fact right now it is $23 CAD or $17 USD) Denmark does not have a legally set minimum wage, it is the AVERAGE min wage negotiated by unions and employers. Average meaning some get less, some get more. Secondly, keep in mind that Denmark has a slightly higher cost of living and they pay WAY more taxes than we do!! Thirdly, you may want to note the Danes still pay for Books for their University courses (and as some of us know can be VERY expensive!) and prescriptions and although Denmark government pays at least 75% of childcare costs, it is ONLY free if you are low income.

Trying to compare DKK to CAD is useless as it varies “to us” in CAD based on exchange rate and if you are going to compare DKK to CAD you must do the exchange rate on EVERYTHING you would purchase in Denmark

So let’s figure some things out …

Right now, as I write this, the exchange rate is: 1 DKK = 0.21 CAD and 1 CAD = 4.76 DKK and therefore the 110 DKK is equal to 23.08 Canadian dollars, Wow that is a pretty damn good wage right! Well, less hours. So at 33 hours per week you are looking at GROSS (that is BEFORE taxes) monthly income (at the rate of 110 DKK times 33 hours times 52 weeks divided by 12 months assuming either paid or no sick days and paid or no vacation) of $3300.44 (15730 DKK). FYI 39605.28 CAD (188760 DKK) yearly

RENT alone in Denmark (for a 1 bedroom in the city) is 6250 DKK ($1312 CAD), whereas in Canada the AVERAGE rent (also for a 1 bedroom in the city) is $847.65 CAD. That is a 54% difference!

Transportation, well Canada’s city transit fares range from 2-4 CAD so It is safe to estimate the Average at $3 per trip. 25 kr in Denmark, that is $5.25 CAD per trip, would you pay that? Gas per liter, here is a good one, In Denmark: $5.93/gallon (1.57/litre) and only $3.24/gallon ($0.857/litre) here in Canada. 83% difference!! Let’s say you have a 13 Gallon tank in your car, would you rather pay $71.16 to fill your tank or $38.88??

Food? It seems that store bought groceries are damn close in price so I will leave that one. but eating out in Denmark will hurt your pocket book. How about the ever-so-loved Big Mac Meal (not by me … I loathe McDonald’s food) nearly 15 CAD in Denmark and approx 9 CAD here in Canada, that is a 67% difference. And nearly $10 for a bottle of beer?? Is the bottle coated in gold … or crack?

But it still seems like a good wage, right? well we forgot to take out taxes from the Gross pay.

Danes also pay approx 50(+)% in employment taxes (that is 8% Health tax, a municipal tax that varies by municipality with an average of 24-25% and the income tax which at the bottom bracket is 37.7% and a fricking church tax, yup, you read that correctly, if you are a member of the church you pay a 1% tax!) AND then there is a 25% sales tax (VAT). You know that 13% (5-15% across Canada) HST/GST/PST that you hate so very much … imagine it at 25%!! All these taxes to get that “free” stuff. Is it worth it, some might think so but Canadians bitch about the taxes they pay now, envision the complaining if we paid the taxes Denmark does.

Lets be nice and easy and pretend we only take out a simple 50% of that $3300.44 we earned this month in Denmark and pretend you are a single person living alone in the city. 1650.22 is what we take home. Rent is $1312 (now pretend you are lucky enough to have heat and lights and internet included in your rent (unlikely, but what the hell, I am trying to make you feel better here) leaving us with $338.22. $200 for groceries for the month leaving $138.22 for whatever else might be needed. You will likely bike to work because you can’t afford the outrageous fuel prices.

Compare that to a minimum wage here in Canada … $1882.4 Gross per month (22588.8 yearly) (average minimum wage of 10.86 times 40 hours times 52 weeks divided by 12 months) you will bring home $19,446 yearly (I even went with Manitoba taxes as they are the highest… note that I did not take out the EI and CPP crap)so your monthly take home is 1620.50 ….HOLY SHIT that is only about $30 less than what the Danes take home! Just for fun, lets take out the CPP and EI and the possible Union dues and such and take home an low balled $1400 per month. BUT still our rent is only $847.65 leaving us with $552.35 which is nearly twice what the Danes have left Because their shit is more fucking expensive.

So here is the side by side in CAD

Now here is an idea, shut the fuck up and stop your whining about their bullshit $20 per hour, less hours and free shit. First it is 110 kr per hour and less hours means less money you idiot! Also NOTHING IS FREE!!! Compare apples to apples NOT apples to oranges you idiotic dipshit. Do your homework before you post memes to avoid being labelled as a fucking idiot. Most of those memes are lies.

How Stupid can a man be?

A woman who is just about 5′ 10″, 150 lbs, comfortably wears clothing sized 9-10 (one should also note that the AVERAGE size of an American woman is 14) and is typically described as tall and thin says to her Significant other while looking at shirts secretly feeling mildly insecure about her size (the belly fat has been getting to her). “I hate how things are sized these days. I take a large in shirts and I do not think I am a very large woman. I think I should be a medium maybe a small, ok maybe not small, but medium for sure. I am not very large. But Everything I wear is Large and Extra-Large.”

Man says: Yes you are, your what? 5’9, 5’10?

Woman says: I don’t mean large in height, I am talking about shirts, I am not a large woman, I should fit a medium comfortably.

Idiot Man: Yes you are, I have dated woman who were this tall (holds hand to a height of about 5 feet) and this small, (holds hands out about 8-10 inches apart) they are small. You are definitely large.

Woman getting highly annoyed repeats: I am NOT a large woman, I am tall, but not Large. If you think about all the people, on average I am NOT large.

Man looking for death says: But you are. What about all the tiny Asians and Philippinos they are small, You’re Large compared to them.

The man continues like this as the woman slips into silence. The eyes glare, the lips tighten, the face reddens, the voice completely disappears…

Woman silently walks away, to avoid killing man. She hides in room for hour to calm herself and talk herself out of this insecurity she is having, Trying desperately to keep from crying, repeatedly telling herself: “You are not fat, you are not large.” And then the self conversation begins … He is a dumbass. As a dumbass, he has no clue what he is talking about. You are not large. Why the hell did he compare your size to other women he has dated? Is he not happy with your size? Screw him. He is an idiot and completely brainless. Why the hell did he not just say “No honey, you are not large” or better yet simply shut up, smile, and nod, that numbskull!! Does he actually think you are fat? Where the hell is his common sense? Why the hell did he continue to call me large even after I started getting upset … could he not see that I was getting annoyed and angry? Am I fat? Maybe I am a “large” woman. I am NOT large. He is the dumbest man I know! Why the hell could he not just shut the hell up. I am not big. He has no idea what he is saying and is a dolt. Ignore him. I am not large. An hour of this and the woman emerges, back to normal. (unlike the “typical” woman, this chick, does not (normally) dwell on shit and hold grudges)

Let us continue this little story with a step back … the man had to be somewhere within an hour and a half of the beginning of this “chat”and while hiding in her room, avoiding the man, the woman lost track of time. When she came out of the room with the things he needed to bring with him, he was pissed off and cranky. She can only assume this was because he had but 30 minutes to get to where he needed to be. So … As usual, she is the bad guy!

You just ruined your woman’s day and you have no fucking clue. Congratulations.

Why are men so clueless to the emotions of women? Why are men so insensitive to the feelings of a woman. How is it that after thousands of years, men still have no common sense when it comes to women? Why? I get it that men don’t “understand” women .. hell, neither do I! but seriously, since when has common sense and respect left the picture?

Boys. Choose your words carefully. Even the strongest of women have weak moments and you might fuck with her emotions without even knowing it. When she shuts up .. it is probably best you shut the fuck up too. Better yet .. Don’t ever tell your woman she is large!! For Fuck sake … put that on the list of things that should be common sense! OK guys, Here are (some of) the common sense rules as may apply to this post. (and this goes for girls too… [The words man and woman can be, and should be used interchangeably] ).

Do NOT say or imply that your woman is fat, ugly, scrawny, plain, average, or ANY word or combination of words that might make her feel less than she is. If she is not PERFECT to you, then you are with the wrong woman. Let her go NOW, so she can find someone who WILL respect her.

NEVER EVER Belittle your lover!

Do NOT EVER compare your woman to any other woman!! EVER. In ANY way! (Unless you are telling her she is better than said other woman…but safest bet is to just leave ALL other woman OUT of the picture.

If she suddenly clams up … shut your god-damned mouth and stop talking. Also, this may be a good time to start apologizing!!

If She is smart enough to walk away as opposed to yelling at, screaming at, swinging at or killing you, leave her the hell alone until SHE feels calm enough to emerge.

Don’t You dare get cranky after YOU act like an Ass!!! This makes you a bigger asshole!!

Wake the fuck up. Respect your woman. Open your eyes and pay attention to the facial expressions that you are definitely getting!!

Please note* I have not edited this … this post is raw emotion that I may edit at another time.

I give and give and give and give and no one gives 2 flying fucks. I do everything in my power to keep everyone happy, yet what the fuck does anyone do for me? Am I being selfish? Perhaps, but perhaps I am allowed to be for once. It gets tiring always being the “giver”.

My daughter gets pretty fucking much everything she wants. I clothe her with the brand name shit. I keep her housed. I feed her, I go out of my way to keep her happy. I go with out so much so that she can have everything. She has pink this and brandy that. Sorel this and Lulu Lemon that. School sweaters, music lessons, drives everywhere. I cook her dinner every night. I make her lunches every day. I pick up after her. I do her laundry. I pay for a bus pass so she can go to the (out of our district) school she wants. She has her own room with a beautiful and expensive bed set (captains bed, night table and computer desk). Electronics up the ying yang… Ipod, tablet, Cell phone, her own computer (times 2!). I could go on and on about what I give to her. I spoil her not only with stuff but with lots of love and nurturing as well. I give her more than enough attention. I stay awake when I am exhausted so I can tuck her in every single night. I make sure to get up with her every morning as she gets ready for school. I spend an abundance of my time with her. I hug and kiss her, snuggle on the couch with her (when she allows it… or wants something) and tell her I love her every time I feel it ( which is a lot). I let her know she is smart and beautiful. I teach her life lessons and manners. I scold/discipline her when necessary. I talk to her. I love her.

My Boyfriend is just as fucking spoiled. I cook his dinner every night. Make his lunches. I go without, for him. I clean his dirty dishes. I make sure things are quiet at bedtime because he gets up early for work. I do his fucking laundry. I let him do his stuff (playing his video games, building his computers, hang out with friends, etc) without bitching or nagging. I spoil him. We don’t fight … but we don’t really “communicate” much either (we don’t really communicate emotionally, partially my fault, but there have been a couple times in which I tried, and got nothing).

What do they do for me? He buys me stuff sometimes or pays for dinners out and takes the garbage out if I purposely leave it until it piles up or stinks. Every few months he gets an urge to Vacuum…. She occasionally doesn’t have a fucking tween attitude and will occasionally do a chore without being told…. twice (in a year) they made an attempt to clean the house. Don’t get me wrong, or consider me hypocritical here, when they do anything, I thank them and very much appreciate it. But it is so very rare ….

And it is not “just” them. I do for so many and very very few ever even thank me. I don’t expect much in return; respect and appreciation. But it seems the more I do, the more I get shit on … hmm, couple sisters fall into that category drastically. Actually I have only 1 sister that is appreciative or so it seems, I haven’t had the chance to do much for her until recently. At least she said Thank you. Work at my last job (which I was recently laid off from and have not discussed in my blog as of yet) was just as bad. The shit I did for that company. Bringing in new clients, taking over an EXTRA full position with no change in title or pay raise, finding money losing errors in pricing, doing shit that was no where near my job, the list goes on and on. I am always a listening ear for anyone (and there are many) who wants to talk or vent or confide. I have secrets hidden about people that would make your ancestors roll over in their grave. But I sit and listen and offer advice if requested … no one does this for me … that is only partially true actually … my 2 BFF’s “would”, except that one has no phone and the other one doesn’t answer his. but they would let me talk and cry…and I really need to. Also My mother let’s me vent … but then she starts trying to decipher everything and “diagnose” me or start changing the subject and gets me all worked up about something else … it gets on my nerves sometimes … but at least she lets me vent.

Over the years, I have developed into a kind and caring woman (despite the fact that some still think of me as the cold hearted bitch I was as a teenager (ish) …that was a lifetime ago (20ish years) I am a different person now and the morons who continuously insinuate that I am still “that” person need to grow up a little (or a LOT) themselves (same sisters fall deeply into this category too). Yes, I can still be a super bitch if you mess with my family or are an ignorant fuckface, but I really don’t like it). A few people have helped me over the years when I have been down and out or struggling and I repay those favours by helping others. I pride myself on doing a bare minimum of 1 good deed per day (often plenty more) and I don’t announce what I have done, I don’t brag about what a great person I am, I just keep believing that Good Karma will be on my side … but nope, nothing good is happening. Karma seems to hate me and my good deeds or any kindness I portray. Maybe I was better off as in my earlier years (late teens/early 20’s) when I was a fucking bitch. Maybe I should become that Perma-Bitch again….

Anyway, back on topic, Someone needs to do something for me or I will fucking quit it all. I love to give, but the ungratefulness and inappreciativeness is too much!!! Do your own god-damn laundry. Buy your own shit. Get your own dinner and prepare your own lunch. Do your own dirty ass un-rinsed dishes. Clean your own mess. Deal with your own shit! Pay me properly for the job I do. How well do you think that would go over? I am simply tired of feeling walked all over and unappreciated!!!

So what do I want? I am not trying to be selfish or greedy. I want to be appreciated. I want to know that people are grateful for things I do for them. Let me take a day off and someone else do the dishes (fully, not just a few and then leave the rest for me to do!). Someone else do (All of) the laundry. Everyone pick up their own shit… and maybe mine once in a blue moon. I don’t need material things. You don’t need to buy me anything. A caring note, a handmade thank you card, a genuine thank you, an afternoon out for a walk or coffee and a chat, that day off I mentioned, a hug with an “I appreciate you”, Acknowledge that I do so much for you, Something. Merely Something.

Before I jump into a conversation I saw between a friend and a troll let me just state:

I do not believe myself to be a troll. I WILL argue/debate for what I believe. Arguing/debating about what you believe is NOT trolling. Trolling is commenting purposely to piss people off. Now, I have had arguments that have resulted in my way of thinking being changed, sometimes to agree with the person arguing and sometimes in an all new direction and I have had arguments/debates in which I stood my ground. Speaking your beliefs is not trolling. commenting lies and bullshit to cause a person to get emotional and/or heated is trolling.

What do you think of the below screen shot conversation? … (click image to enlarge). By the way, I should mention … I looked into this guy (the Troll), he does not work for the federal government or anything even remotely government or safety related. I have to side with the friend on this one. Blue is a troll.