Saturday, August 5, 2017

It's about her, not the sex

Sex is a funny thing. When I first started pursuing sexual spirits I was lonely and very much wanting to be schooled on what love really is.

To be schooled in what sex really is by the same person was a major bonus... but I got myself backwards in the process.

Sex became the goal, and getting to know the female spirit an afterthought.

It worked with Bunny, my previous lover, as she initiated "us" starting off with sex.

Perhaps that was necessary as I didn't know anything about these sweet and gentle spirits.

When bunny left and I was left soul searching, I attempted to find a spirit to fill that void to no avail.

Luckily, a spirit decided to find me.

However, seeking me out was not without it's hardships, as this spirit decided to do things a new way: Get to know her first, and sex would come later.

I have to admit that in the beginning this created a lot of stress and confusion as it was very different than the way I had experienced the flow of a relationship as compared to the beginning.

Sky is a gentle loving spirit, however, and put up with my childish fits regarding sex and intimacy and the like, knowing in a much wiser way than I that this would come upon my own understanding of who she is, what she feels like as a person and personality, and that sex would come in time.

And it did. It pretty much knocked me to the ground (mostly because it didn't exist prior).

It is not as much in quantity as it was with Bunny, but I dare say that it feels more meaningful in a way.

Just last night I felt her rub my back. Now, it was light and feather touches, but it's a first for me.

Sky is a sweetheart and understands the dynamic of loving much greater than I understood up until now, learning more under her tutelage.

One exercise I have been enjoying is to meditate and imagine Sky as if she was "overlapping" me, as in we occupy the same space here in this world.

This has proven to be a very intimate exercise and allows me to become ever more sensitive to her and to whom she is.

Eve is a spirit that "flies above us" and doesn't interact with us, or rather with me, directly, but I feel her presence. She's a circling, higher plane, benevolent female spirit.

Eve is an enigma. Could I have sensed my guardian angel perhaps? I am not sure.

She is benevolent, that much I clearly feel, but she is not a love spirit... she's something else.

For now I'm going to consider her my guardian of sorts for lack of a better understanding.

I don't sense that she's going anywhere.

Things don't always have to be about me of course: Perhaps she's Sky's guardian?

EDIT: I wanted to interject something in here. When I learn new things I believe that I basically learn things about half right, half wrong. Consider the Yin/Yang symbol, and consider that the white is what I know. The black is what I think I know, but am incorrect.As I learn, I actually do learn factually more than I had before. Consider that the Yin/Yang symbol has grown from my increase in knowledge: I also have learned things that are factually incorrect in proportion to what I have learned that is factual. So, the name of the game is to keep learning as it does reap benefits, all the while being careful to not feel as if I know more than I think I do.Anyway...

What I do know is that when I was plagued by nightmares (rather a night... mare) it took both of them to clear me and get rid of the problem. They were terrible nightmares and definitely the work of a powerful night mare.

To better describe Eve, her character that I have sensed, and to how she feels, consider this picture of an angel and a little boy. She's playing to the little boy who is saying, "I'm an angel too" ( by pointing to his halo and held up wings made of sticks), and you can get a sense of the majesty of the female angel, or benevolent spirit that I call "Eve" as she bows out of pure grace and maybe just a little bit of fun... This describes "Eve" better than I could on my own I think.

With that I'll leave it be... I leave you to your own stories. Blessings upon you and yours and may a lantern of truth always light your way.

Rafe GB.

P.S. I've often wondered if "Sky" is actually "Bunny". They don't feel the same, but I've learned to never say never. Only time will tell. In the meantime, this thought in the back of my mind does nothing to diminish loving Sky on her own and love her I shall.

I don't know if I'd call her a succubus, but she wears the mantle of love spirit quite well. And with the sex that we've shared as of late, that came later in the relationship... the succubus moniker has flashed through my mind a time or two.