Dr. Carl Perrin spent a half a century trying to save Western Civilzation by teaching thousands of college freshmen important stuff, like the difference between its and it's. Now he is ready to go on to bigger and better things.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

UNDERDOG

A recent article on Yahoo News looked at the second tier candidates: Republicans like Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul, Democrats like Bill Richardson, Joe Biden, and Chris Dodd. The gist of the article is that any of these men could surprise us between now and February. Some of them are moving up through the pack. Ron Paul raised $5.1 million this summer. Biden or Dodd could split the anti-Hillary vote, weakening Brack Obama and John Edwards.

Some of the candidates could become running mates with the anointed one. Conservative Mike Huckabee could balance Guiliani’s moderate/liberal image. Richardson would attract a lot Hispanic votes.

The candidate who was entirely overlooked in this article is Democrat Dr. Carl Perrin, one of the most highly qualified candidates to come along in decades. (This is just another example of the vast right/left wing conspiracy to keep Perrin off the ballot.) Despite appearances, Perrin’s campaign treasury keeps growing, mostly through the collection of returnable cans and bottles in Maine. Perrin’s support in that state is so strong that he is sure to win there by a landslide.

The other candidates—of both parties—keep talking about taxes, health insurance, etc., etc., etc, but none of them has even mentioned the increased cost of beer, caused by farmers growing more corn for ethanol rather than hops for beer. When Perrin is elected President, he will make sure that farmers who grow hops will get price supports. A vote for Perrin is a vote for cheap beer!

Dr Carl Perrin

About Me

When Carl Perrin was a wee lad, his father gave him a hatchet for his birthday. Perrin used the hatchet to chop down his father's prize cherry tree. When his dad asked who had cut down the tree, Perrin managed to blame it on his younger brother. That was only fair because the little rat was always getting him in trouble.
Perrin grew up to be an upstanding citizen with strong family values. Like that other great American, Rudy Giuliani, Perrin has shown his family values by getting married three times.