Would you try and give a slight chance?

It will be two years this April since my husband walked out the door and a year since the divorce papers were signed........My ex husband has had a pattern for years of walking in and out of his childrens lives and running away as supposed to facing his problems.....But even tho it's a circle for him from his pattern the circle always seems to lead him back into talking to me or come my way again....I will try to give as much background as I possibly can....
We were very young when we were together the first time and have a son together well he walked out on my and married another and they have a child together.....This ex wife of his I grew up with her and know her very well....Well recently for the kids as well as not letting a man come between a life long friendship Her and I are talking again almost daily on the phone and letting the children talk....Well after she left him he came back to my door and talked with me we always had great communication just when discussions got heated he would bolt....We developed a great friendship then about 2 years of that tried again on us....We were back together in total for about 5-6 years.....We have had another child together a little girl who is turning 4 in May.....Well in 07 we went through a bad loss of our third born together and it almost claimed my life....I know that we had our problems before this but always seemed to work it out but he left me 3xs since the death of our baby and the final time for good....He moved in with my best friend and her hubby and their daughter......He didn't have ANYTHING to do with me or his kids he is severly depressed and messed up and said alot of things about me behind my back that are hurtful and lead me to believe our entire marriage and relationship was a lie.....
Now it's been almost 2 years as I've said and we have had more contact as of recently as he lives about 2 and half hours away and wants to come back to this city....Now from his lies and hurt I don't have a TRUST in the world for him anymore he took that all away with how he treated me after almost loosing me....I still love him and I always will as the night we lost our baby I fell more in love with him so I know there is good in him where his pattern has shown just that good person doesn't seem to last when something happens to make him go back into his selfish shell......I have an no access order for my children to protect them from a Dad who wants nothing to do with them and I've told him I'm willing to let him know how they are doing but not talk to them or see them as I don't trust him.....He is showing and admitting some signs of regrets he has had....But that is also something he has done before....I would love to see him have a relationship with his kids one day but I'm fearful and Mother Hen is there.....I'm just also scared that if he tries so hard to convince me he loves me blah blah blah will I be strong enough to say no as I DON'T want him back......There is no trust and I don't think there ever will be....
Advice is welcome thanks in advance....

Honestly with the way his patterns are and how he has left you and your kids on numerous occasions I would NEVER trust this man again. I wouldn't want him anywhere near my kids again in fear that he would do it to them again in the future. I'm sure you know this and I mean no disrespect and I'm not saying this to be rude or question your parenting skills, but your kids have to come first! Every time he walks out that door and walks out of their lives until it's convenient and suits him to come crawling back your kids get emotionally scarred and may develop abandonment issues from it. If I were you I would take the time to deal with all of this, and find a way to move on ... then later on down the road if you meet someone new and you want to introduce him to the kids (if it gets serious enough) then by all means do and be happy! You deserve to be happy, everyone does so PLEASE don't just "settle" or "wait for him to change" because you feel you owe him or something because he's your children's father! I have known you for years ... your a good person, a fantastic mother, and you deserve to be happy and so do your kids, and you and your kids should be treated like GOLD by a man that is lucky enough to be with you guys and have you in his life!

I don't find it rude at all and I do feel that way as well I do not trust him and have that fear and also have it said he needs councling to see his kids when I had the access denied......I am at the point even if he goes for that I don't think I could ever trust him....I am worried about what the kids have gone through as for my son it's his choice and my daughter too young but when she older and if she asks to see him and is more understanding then I have to let her try and see it for herself but be there for her and explain things as best as I can.....I guess just when it comes to my ex and everything we have been through despite his HUGE faults mind you lol....I don't know why I have a soft heart for him.....But at the same time I'm a stronger person then I was when I took him back and I just have to keep that in mind.....I cannot risk a broken heart again with him the damage has already been done and Mother Hen is on the prowel with her kids.....I just am hoping that he is possible of change and works hard at it....But still I will be on guard lol....

That sounds good, and it sounds like you have a plan on how to deal with him. Maybe he is capable of change, and maybe he will go to councelling so he can see the youngest I don't know! If I knew what was going on in his head, or the future I would tell you! I really hope that you and the kids get whatever it is you are hoping to get from him. I just really hope he doesn't hurt you all again! He has fooled you into believing he had changed before, BUT then again you are a lot stronger then you were before so you will do the right thing! Just believe in yourself, your kids, and your choices and all should work out! Just remember though if something sounds or seems to good to be true it usually is! I just really don't want you guys to get hurt by him again, but you know more of the signs and what to watch for now and your stronger so you can do it!

Thanks for the encouragment and I believe you are right.....He won't be so easily to fool me this time around as he has pulled in the past for example I'm so sorry I hurt you I regret it.....My answer to that is that is what you said before what has changed this time?
I never ment to hurt you.....My answer is that is what you said lastnight what is different....I know the signs I won't be so easily fooled I'm just curious to see how far he will go to try and proove it if he truly wants to change.