I Miss You

I woke up in my bed Not my bed The hospital’s The machines all around me Giving me fluids and monitoring me I hated them so much Why did the doctors torture me like this?

It had been 4 days 4 days since the accident 4 days since I was last outside 4 days since I was happy 4 days since I felt alive 4 days since he left me For good.

I rolled on my side The leaves outside were falling Fall was his favorite season The changing leaves The cool breeze The chance to see me again

I started crying I missed that first day of school I missed his touch I missed the way he would whisper in my ears I missed his kisses on my forehead I missed his tranquility I missed the way he could calm me I missed those stupid jokes that he would tell I missed everything we did together I missed his whole person

I decided to take a walk Doctor had told me to rest But I never was good at listening

I headed outside Walking down the hallway reminded me Reminded me of that first day of school I saw him there and started walking to him He wrapped me in his arms and kissed me “Hey beautiful.” He told me stroking my hair “Hey you. Miss me?” “You know I did.” “Well I dreamt of you every night.” “And I you.” He kissed me again

I hated that my parents took me away That summer I wanted to be with him I wanted to be wrapped in his arms I wanted to feel safe I wanted to feel happy I wanted to see his face light up when he saw me I wanted to have two months without school I wanted two months just to be with him I wanted us to be left alone I wanted him more than anything

Florida and relatives didn’t excite me I was missing him the two months I wanted to call him My parents wouldn’t allow me to Once a week, I would call him at night I got caught three weeks in When I got back I loved him Loved him even more than when I left He was so great

I stopped walking and ended up outside I sat down at a bench I got up again I didn’t want to sit I didn’t want to take it easy He taught me to be strong Even when I didn’t feel like it He taught me to be great I loved him even more

I ventured over to a tree I rested against the tree in the shade I looked at my broken arm I filled with anger just looking at it I threw it against the trunk It sent pain through me But I wanted pain right now It wasn’t fair

I got a broken arm He had to lose his life He was just driving me home I was drunk and called him Then that idiot hit him He was alive before I blacked out He was dead when I woke up

Why did I get to live? He was better than me He deserved to live He should not have died

Then the leaves started to rustle They formed a circle around me I wondered what was going on Then they spun faster and faster It made a whirring sound

In front of me They made a cylinder When the leaves disperesed I saw him and rushed to him Leaves were spinning vigorously around me I didn’t care I only cared about him right now

We hugged and then he talked “Why are you doing this Rachel?” “I miss you Dean. Why did you leave me?” “It was my time to go.” “Bull. You never believed in that crap.” “What do you want me to say?” “Nothing. I just want to be with you!” “I can’t let you do that.” “Oh yeah.” I picked up a rock. “Try and stop me.” “Okay, okay. You win.” “Thank you.” “Just take my hands. I promise it’ll be okay.” “What are you going to do?” “I’ll take you with me. It’ll be painless. It may just get a little loud because of the leaves.” The leaves were getting louder But I had forgotten about them until now I took his hands

The leaves spun harder, faster, and got tighter “Stay close to me.” I heard him say I pressed myself against his body It felt so good to be back there The leaves started to lift us in the air It was like we were in our own little ball

After a while, the leaves left, We were somewhere new I looked around Meadows, flowers, the sound of running water It seemed so peaceful “Where are we?” “I’m not sure you’d believe me.” “Try me.” “It’s not heaven.” “Oh, well. . . just tell me." “We are going to become angels.”

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