Pages

Two weeks ago I had the awesome opportunity to participate in the
annual conference that Christian Alliance For Orphans (CAFO) gives every
year.It was held this year in
Nashville, TN, and through the very generous giving of some dear friends and
the very generous offer of my husband to keep all three of my kids for a week
on his own, I was able to go this year.

Honestly, until this year, I didn’t really know much about CAFO.I had heard their name thrown around but as
with most things in life, I was pretty much just absorbed in my own ministry,
and I didn’t spend too much time paying much attention to what was happening
outside of our walls…sad I
know, but it’s the truth.But, earlier
this year, a few others and myself were able to meet with the president of
CAFO, and I left the meeting super impressed with him and just his heart for
orphans and children all around the world. I starting looking more into their
ministry and immediately knew I needed to participate in their conference.

I am thankful to say it was even more than I expected. It was
amazing, and I was able to meet a lot of other people committed to caring for
hurt and neglected children all over the world.I was so impressed with the stories I heard
of regular families that are sacrificing so much to foster, adopt, work in
orphanages, serve/rescue those in human trafficking, and so much more.I left so inspired and just ready to move
full force ahead.

But then I got back to my life and my home and just my “normal,” and
I was having trouble figuring out how to transfer all this great stuff to regular
life.With the exception of the workshop
I went to on reconciliation, I couldn’t figure out what to really do with all
the information.How does it change the
way I parent? How does it change the way I lead? How does it change the way I
discipline? How does it change the way I interact? How does it change the way I
love?I just couldn’t wrap my head
around it all.

(Side note the workshop I am referring to on reconciliation was one
of the very best I have ever heard on the topic of forgiveness and just in
general working through interpersonal conflict.
It was given by Beth Guckenberger from Back2Back ministries http://back2back.org. Seriously, you should stop what you are doing
now, go to the CAFO website, find this workshop and download it. You won’t be sorry.)

The thing with me is that I hate those “church camp highs” so to
speak. I don’t like the emotion of something to overwhelm me to the point that
I live on a high of how amazing something is, but nothing practical changes in
my life.

Because the truth is, I really did feel overwhelmed.One of the statistics mentioned at the
conference was that Unicef recently announced that there are over 153 million
orphans worldwide.

153
million orphans worldwide.153 MILLION
ORPHANS WORLDWIDE.

Even I was surprised by that number, and I have been doing this a
long time. There is a good chance that number includes a lot of children who aren't truly orphaned...meaning they still have one or even both parents and/or other family members, but for whatever reason they are living as an orphan (in an orphanage, on the streets, in foster care, etc.) I am thankful that I serve with a ministry interested and working towards keeping families together. But, that being said, as far as I am concerned, 1 orphan is still one too many.

So, that just left me feeling like nothing I do could really
accomplish that much.How could it?On top of that, I came back to the same
problems and frustrations that I saw before I left, and I honestly didn’t feel
that much more equipped to handle them.

I felt like, “Great I went to this amazing conference, but I still
can’t figure out how to fix this everyday stuff!”

And then while still living in this turmoil, two of my three babies
got sick.The oldest recuperated pretty
quickly, but my 2 year old just seemed to get sicker every day.It was into the wee hours of the morning
Tuesday, and I was watching his little body trying to fight of another fever,
and I just felt so defeated.We were on
night 3 of the same story.I had tears
silently streaming down my face as I watched him moan and whimper.I rubbed his back.I applied cool clothes. I faithfully gave him
his medicine.I prayed…oh how I prayed.

But there we were in my bed and I just couldn’t take it. My heart
felt like it was going to rip out of my chest watching him suffer so much.And that’s when it hit me.

That’s when my eyes kind of opened to the other turmoil of the week
prior

Faithfully, every single hour of my week had been devoted to taking
care of my babies…making
sure they were comfortable and safe and that at least in my own efforts, I was
doing all I could for them.My little 2
year old knew deep in his heart that his mama was there, and she was doing
everything she could for him. She was fighting right there with him.

But then I thought about my girls next door.Granted they are now grown up girls, but I
did take care of them while they were younger too. I thought about all the
times they woke up the next morning and told me that they had gotten sick in
the night and then just silently went back to their bed. I thought about the
times that I forgot to give them the Tylenol on time and their fever shot back
up and how much longer it finally took to bring it down again because I hadn’t
given it to them on time.I thought
about the number of times I laid next to them while they slept, applying cool
clothes and rubbing their back. (I am sad to say I couldn’t think of a single
time on that last one.)

The story wasn’t pretty.

The ugly truth is I didn’t mother them the way I mother my babies
now.It hurts me to say that but I know
deep in my heart it is true. I didn’t do it consciously, and I am certain that
I was trying to do my best at the time.But I didn’t get it right.

So as I rubbed my baby’s back and waited for his fever to break once
again, I confessed of that and begged Jesus to help me love better.Then, I prayed for all the babies that were
sick in their beds somewhere in that very moment and didn’t have a mama or
daddy’s touch to make it all better.I
silently cried out for them.Oh Jesus
please have mercy on those sweet ones!

So much trust and confidence happens when a mama or daddy or really
anyone cares for you when you are sick.Think about it.Caring for the
sick isn’t easy. It isn’t pretty.In
fact it is really hard.But, any one of
you can think of the time that your mama or grandmother or daddy or husband or
wife, etc. cared for you when you felt the most sick.You can remember how that felt…how loved and cherished you felt.

Now think about all those babies and young ones that are silently
going to the bathroom to get sick with no one even aware.I can remember that I was the kid that almost
never made it to the bathroom on time when I was going to get sick.But my sweet mama always jumped right out of
bed. She held my hair and rubbed my back while I got sick and then quietly
tucked me back into bed while she then went to scrub walls or carpets.There was never one question in my mind that when
I was sick or in need that I wasn’t going to have someone to care for me.My mama and my daddy showed me that every
time….no
questions, no excuses.

So I am still working through transferring all the information I
learned at the conference to real life, but one thing I know to be sure is that
I have got to learn to love better. I
have to figure out a way to love those God has given me or placed in my life the
way I love those closest to my heart.

And it starts with little things like cool wash clothes and back
rubs.

God isn’t asking us to do huge things on His behalf. He doesn’t want
me to save the 153 million orphans.I am
no savior.He doesn’t need me to be a
superhero.

He
just wants me to love well the one right next to me.

And not just love in a way that is convenient or easy.As much as I love my son, it was not even
close to easy waking up every hour or so with a screaming child for 3 nights in
a row.It wasn’t easy then waking up the
next morning to fix breakfast and get my other two off to school. It wasn’t
easy literally having to leave my child moaning just to go to the
bathroom.Nothing about this week was
easy or convenient.

Choosing
to love and care well will never go hand in hand with the word easy.It will require sacrifice. It will require
giving something up. It will require grace.And most of all it will require giving more than I think I am physically
able to.

So here it is guys…there are
some babies, teens, neighbors, young mamas/daddies, forgotten/neglected elderly
folks, etc. that need you to step up and do some loving.We can sing all the right songs in church.We can faithfully give our tithes every
week.We can be nice to people and
occasionally even go out of our way for a little random act of kindness.But if we aren’t getting our hands and hearts
dirty, we aren’t really doing all we can do.

I am not going to stand on some podium and tell you all that I have
got it all figured out and that I am doing it all right.I mess up.I get it wrong too. I choose me and mine far too often.But, I am also not going to sit here at
my computer and tell you that I think it is okay that most of the people I know
that say they love Jesus the most are the ones that are getting their hands and
hearts dirty the least.I
can’t do that.There are too many that
have too much and are doing and giving far too little.

So today I want to ask you to stop whatever it is you are doing and
just close your eyes. Who are those that
are in your life right this moment that need more?Who are those that are silently struggling
without anyone to hold their hair back for a bit for them?

Guys, just
go get some cool clothes and apply them to the wounds.Go rub some backs.Just GO DO SOMETHING!Choose to step in for someone when it is dark
and hard and there is a lot of crying and pain…choose to be there instead of praying for God to
send someone else to be there.MAYBE YOU
ARE THE ONE YOU ARE ALREADY PRAYING FOR!

But please, please don’t choose to do nothing.Don’t pretend like loving our family and our
friends well is enough.It is good…it is very good but it will never be
enough.There are too many that have no
one…no
one.So if we only love well those that
are already in our intimate circle, I am certain that in a few years there are going to be more babies without someone to comfort them, more teens running away and getting swept up into human trafficking, more marriages crumbling, and more older folks spending their lives alone in a residential living facility. Its not going to be pretty I can say that.

You don’t have to save the world.You don’t have to be a superhero.You just have to choose to take a step…one little step and apply that cloth, rub that
back.It’s doing more than you could
ever know.

Total Pageviews

Some bits and bobbits about this blog...

This blog is mostly just ramblings by yours truly. I talk about my ups and downs being a wife, mother, and missionary in Guatemala. I have a tendency to get off on "soapboxes" as those who love me say but it is my desire that this blog can be a place of encouragement in each of your pilgrimages with Christ. At any moment if this blog becomes more about me than about Christ, than it will be done and over...so please help me stay accountable. To God be all the Glory, Honor, and Power!