Impatience

I have been super impatient [in the past]. I wanted to get to where I thought my success was. I wanted to find peace in a future version of myself, because I thought that’s where it lived.

I took all the courses, gained all the qualifications, took the ‘right’ jobs, dated the ‘right’ guys (most of whom turned out to be completely wrong, of course) and looked for a new box to tick every time I checked off a different one and found I wasn’t where I wanted to be yet.

Turns out that level of crazy and control can turn into an eating disorder before you have much time to think about it, and after I hit by bottom, and worked my way back out, you want to know what I realised? …That in all the striving and running away from where and who I was, all I wanted to be was happy: content in my own skin, content to be who I was, whether people liked it or not, and without the pressure of trying to be somewhere, someone and something different from who I was.

I know it sounds like a cliché, because it is, but we are exactly where we need to be, learning the lessons, finding the joy, being triggered, growing, and loving…right now.
Everything that is happening is leading us somewhere amazing, and as soon as we surrender, let go of trying to control everything and focus on how we can enjoy this moment, just a little bit more, everything will fall into place <3