Hang in there and hold on,like the cat that instinctually uses its claws as a means of gripping onto things.

Please don't jump to conclusions at this point in time;it may further compromise your already delicate situation.

I will continue to pray for your mother,as I attend mass on a daily basis.

Wendy,
You don't need to be religious to be spiritually motivated. Sure, it's part of the enlightened experience there's much more.

The spirit is that driving force which directs a person towards the positive,even though there is freedom of choice.
It's that part of you that can be viewed internally and used as a barometer for righteous living......In my honest opinion.

Your mother knows how you feel about her.

The thing here is,despite how things are going on with you personally,you still have time for your mother and her concerns,which is commendable.
Please don't try to thrust additional responsibilities on yourself at this time.
What I mean to state is that marriage and other things of that sort are major life choices which yo may or may not be able to honor fully at this point in time.

The timing just isn't right and when it becomes so,you'll know it,your family will know it and all others concerned will feel it also.

Please don't feel you have to rush into things.
More often than not,when a person rushes into things blindly,it creates further chaos.