Monthly Archives: July 2011

ohhhhhhhh friday night lights. i just finished watching the final season, which i dvr’d weeks ago and had been doling out in small doses as time permitted. this is a show i have quietly LOVED since sabrina first introduced me to it years ago. she promised me i’d love it – she’s usually right, but never more so than here.

i sobbed through pretty much the entire final episode. it hadn’t really occurred to me how much i would miss the characters. for once, i actually cared about the people in the story and what was happening to them. i’m not that heartless, it’s just that usually tv characters are pretty one-note and don’t do much to pull you in. but fnl? i loved everyone. coach taylor? my god, he was fantastic. tammy taylor? loooooved her. tim riggins? heartbreak and hotness on a platter.

the finale did a great job of bringing back past characters in believable ways, so we learned where they ended up without it feeling too contrived the way finales often feel.

now that it’s over, i realize how much i’m really going to miss it. there are some shows i watch pretty regularly, but few i’ve ever cared about this much.

ever have one of those days where someone’s a total asshole and it just RUINS an otherwise great day? don’t get me wrong – there are times where someone’s an asshole to me and i totally deserve it. but other times, like what just happened, it’s totally unfounded and it gets me soooooo fired up!

i pulled in to get gas on my way home. the station was pretty full, but there was one open spot and it happened to be on the right side for me. i pull in, nose to nose with a truck who was at the next space down. the chick looks like she’s leaving, so i wait a second before shutting off so that i can pull up a bit further after she leaves. suddenly, she’s totally EXASPERATED with me. hands up, gesturing like crazy, somehow over-the-top angry with me for having pulled in so she couldn’t simply drive straight through and out. there was nobody behind her blocking her way if she’d just reversed a titch. there was nobody to the side blocking her ability to drive out around me. she was even pointing the way she wanted to go – no tricky maneuvering necessary.

i throw up my hands with a “what the fuck?” kind of motion, and gesture grandly to the vast amount of space available to my side, informing her that she has “50 fucking feet available.” she starts jawing as she drives past me, with the words “stupid bitch” clearly visible through her closed window. i mouth back some less than savory phrases as she rolls past, furiously.

the thing is, i know she’s not still thinking about it. she’s totally over it, and i’m the one who’s sitting here blogging about it. i just get so damn ANGRY when i’ve done nothing to incur the wrath of a complete stranger. when i mess up? i own up. if i’d somehow effed her over? i wouldn’t be talking back. but somehow, i’m the asshole by just doing what everyone else is doing at the gas station. i’m the asshole because i had the bad luck to pull in in front of this chickadee.

if i had one wish today, it’d be that each and every asshole was forced to feel the real weight of that. acknowledge what it’s like to ruin somebody’s day when they did nothing to deserve it. you jaw at someone at the gas station, you cut someone off in traffic, you rant at a customer service rep who’s got no responsibility for your problem, you call somebody a name to make yourself feel better. i wish these people had to own and carry that karma around in a tangible way. like the chains that the ghost dude lugs around for all eternity in “a christmas carol.” every asshole thing you do? add another weight.

yesterday i shampooed my eye. on accident, of course, but still. really? how do things like that still happen? i know how to wash my hair. i know that getting shampoo in your eyes is a bad idea. but sometimes that autopilot that we rely on for certain things falls asleep at the wheel. like when you’re chewing something and suddenly bite the hell out of your cheek. or drinking something and you get it down the wrong pipe and start coughing uncontrollably. those things, i guess i can’t help, but at least i can buy some no-more-tears shampoo.

i haven’t been writing enough lately. i always say that for me, reading and writing is like living and breathing. it’s no wonder that i’ve felt so lifeless lately. i’m not sure what derailed me from my semi-regular blogging from before, but it’s been months and something about going back doesn’t feel quite right. so i figured i’d start fresh, somewhere new. maybe it’ll be the kick i need to get back in the good habit.

irreverence press was always meant to be the name of my future greeting card company with my bestie sabrina. in the absence of that, it seems a fitting name for my new home and host. i know breeze will support it.

my goal is to write often, honestly, and openly. i never shared much of what i wrote before, and in hindsight i think that’s ok for where i was at the time. but i feel a need to express myself more accountably.

welcome to irreverence press. i can’t promise anything, but hope to encounter everything.