I learned I could never live in cities like Seattle and Portland and that Eastern Oregon is a complete wasteland of nothingness. I found out Seaside is the best place on the Oregon Coast and that the Haystack Rock is pretty impressive in real life as well as pictures.

And I anointed Fernando Tatis Jr. as the second-best player in San Diego Padres’ history. Behind some guy called Gwynn.

There was lots of driving as I put nearly 1,800 miles on the car after putting up just 1,700 over the first seven months of the year. That is one of the perks of being talented enough to be your own entity and work from home.

Five hotels in seven nights and there is nothing like that situation to make you appreciate the bed at home.

And my pillows! Why are all the hotel pillows so soft? You pile up four on top of each other and you still sink to the bed. Had to put a blanket in a pillowcase to get sleep at one of the hotels.

And casino smoke … it is still the worst.

What a great vacation … let’s enjoy the latest version of Vacation by Tweets:

Portland freeways and I do not get along. You always know the freeway is close. But finding the on-ramp is a challenge. I twice ended up getting on a different freeway 20 miles away. … Now in a city called Dallas. No, not Texas.#SeaPort#WithoutTheVillage

Walked into a casino & casino gospel is definitely in play: lots of derelict guys, tons of haggard women, old people everywhere, way too much smoke & the guy watching too closely in the food court who is ready to steal my food if I leave it unattended. #SeaPort#WithoutTheVillage

You know a city's traffic is horrible when the hotel desk person says 'Do you really have to head that way? The traffic is really, really bad at this hour and about to get worse." … Seattle equals Los Angeles Jr. #SeaPort#WithoutTheVillage

Saw the Tacoma Dome from the freeway. Just as I would never do something dumb and selfish like texting while driving, I sure would never do something like take a picture while driving. #SeaPort#WithoutTheVillage

Some guy without a major league hit just homered & the fans have come alive. Four runs so far. Pulled Lamet for no good reason & the dude on the mound (Morejon) doesn’t look ready for this league. #SeaPort#WithoutTheVillage

How do people live in Seattle? Total gridlock on South I-5 at 8:15 pm. So I move to East I-90 & everyone is going 80. Then I get on South I-405 & again total gridlock. Now on a surface street just so my car can be moving. #SeaPort#WithoutTheVillage

Thought about seeing Husky Stadium but I-5 (gridlock) & I-405 (stop and go) had different plans. So happy as heck to see I-90 Spokane on a sign & went East. Besides, Husky Stadium isn’t a must-see when it comes to facilities. #SeaPort#WithoutTheVillage

Wow, driving from Snoqualmie to Yakima fits in the Barstow to Las Vegas worst drives’ category. I see Yakima calls itself ‘The Palm Springs of Washington.’ So now looking for celebrities. LOL. #SeaPort#WithoutTheVillage

Done driving for the day. At the outset Friday, I will be climbing steep mountain & going through Dead Man's Pass. That is where the bus went down the icy hill in Dec. 2012 with bodies thrown everywhere. Nine died and 39 injured. #SunnyForecast#SeaPort#WithoutTheVillage

This is the seventh annual version of the tradition, which chronicles all the fun I have when I return home to the paradise of San Diego.

Should I forget what year Tim Lincecum no-hit the Padres, all I have to do is sort through past versions of Vacation by Tweets on this stellar website.

Of course, I never forget that I have witnessed two no-hitters. One by Lincecum in 2013 and one by Bud Smith in 2001.

I did see some history on the latest vacation — nicknamed #heatwave for the hot temps awaiting me — as Albert Pujols of the Angels homered twice to tie Ken Griffey Jr. for sixth place on the all-time list.

That night also meant Mike Trout and I were in the same ballpark at the same time. As far as I know, that is just the second time that happened — the other being the 2016 All-Star Game in San Diego.

As for the Padres, they went 0-3 on my visits to Petco Park. They are not very good. But we all kind of knew that before I arrived in San Diego.

Anyway, it is time to sit back and enjoy the fun as we relive the fun and hot #heatwave vacation.

JULY 5

Night before vacation and don’t have a name for it … but people in SoCal keep saying I am bringing a #Heatwave with me so perhaps we are on to something.

JULY 6

My vacation officially named #Heatwave … going to be like traveling to Phoenix in March as opposed to summer in San Diego.

A rambunctious 2-year-old next to me on the plane. Only a matter of time before I get hit in the face with something. #heatwave

Great to watch well-done TV wildfire coverage. The #SanDiego media are well too familiar with covering these events. Heck, I am a two-time evacuee from my #SoCal days. Scary stuff. #heatwave vacation

Wow, reports of LOOTERS invading houses burned down by wildfire in Alpine … Who even thinks of looting homes ravaged by fire. Not good. #heatwave vacation

Wait, I’m on vacation home & @DagmarNBCSD is OFF? During a heatwave? Nooooooooo. Every July, I look forward to her terrific weather segments. No cookie cutter stuff. Great personality. Hope to catch her on TV next week. #heatwave vacation

Feel blessed to have made it back to #SanDiego from Orange County … 90-minute period from 11 p.m-12:30 a.m. PT was crazy on the highways, feel like I just raced Daytona, Indy & 24 hours of LeMans back-to-back-to-back.

OK, on my timeline of 90-percent sports people and can’t find any sports. All politics. So I know from past experiences that this means Trump was once again a dumb-dumb without even looking for a news story.

Getting a journalism degree from #SanDiegoState and not "Ivy League" or "Stanford" sure didn't hurt this guy. The Northwestern co-worker I had was no great shakes either. https://t.co/bHvYFd3H3E

Amazing … one of my nephews turns 19 next month and I've never even heard a racist word or gay slur come out of his mouth … let alone him tweeting something ridiculously pathetic that the entire world could see. https://t.co/2xL3lZDAxA

So I took a vacation to Drought Land and amazing amounts of rain fell from the sky.

Well, I did joke about taking a wheelbarrow full of water past security at the Boise airport so I’m guessing that the Weather Gods somehow learned of my zany request.

Regardless, I wasn’t expecting that a vacation home to San Diego would become memorable for crazy rainy weather. On one July day, it poured so hard that it set the record for most rain in the MONTH of July in San Diego history.

Then the record was broken the following day as it rained even harder and longer. And I recognized all the thunder and lightning as I seemingly brought it with me from seeing it for five straight nights in Boise.

Oh yeah, that thunder and lightning somehow followed me back to Boise too. I like being magical but this is a bit ridiculous.

Anyway, you surely recall the drill from past years. Vacation by tweets is back for another run and you can catch all the action of #VacationInDroughtLand below.

Enjoy.

JULY 12

–Vacation to #DroughtLand begins tomorrow … my biggest concern is whether there is enough water left for me to take a shower.

My latest return to my awesome hometown of San Diego was wonderful and here is the tweet-by-tweet blow of what kind of became known as #VacationSanDiego.

It was only my fourth time home since I moved from the paradise of Southern California to the fine city of Boise, Idaho. And, of course, there was one dorky woman who screeched “Potatoes!” when finding out where I live.

So I now kind of know what it feels like when native “Idahoans” – what a dumb term – experience it.

At heart, I will always be a San Diego guy. Time to enjoy the 2014 version of vacation via tweets. Enjoy.

JULY 10

–The suitcase is packed so the #SanDiego vacation is about to commence. So you may see me somewhere around #SoCal through July 21.

My recent vacation to Southern California and Las Vegas was by far the most enjoyable of the three vacations I have taken since moving from the paradise known as San Diego to another solid place to live in Boise, Idaho.

Perhaps it was because it was my first vacation in 25 months, but the trip I dubbed “Vacation, All I Ever Wanted” (yes, stolen from the former hit song by The Go-Gos) was refreshing, relaxing and quite fun.

The overwhelming highlight was attending the Padres’ game (with free tickets) at Petco Park on Saturday, July 13 when San Francisco’s Tim Lincecum threw a no-hitter against San Diego. It was my second lifetime no-hitter, the other being the one Bud Smith of the St. Louis Cardinals tossed against the Padres in 2001.

Chronicling a vacation in 140 characters or less through Twitter is certainly the 21st century way to do things. So here you go – all the highlights of “Vacation, All I Ever Wanted” are below.

JULY 9

–“Vacation, all I ever wanted; Vacation, had to get away.” It’s sinking in: Suitcase packed — first #vacation in 25 months about to start.

–The #Boise airport is so empty we could play a football game by Southwest boarding gates. Tile changes colors every 10 yards too. Perfect.

–Ducked into restaurant/bar at #Boise airport. Sit down, look up at TV & see the plane from the #SanFrancisco flight crashing & burning. #Umm

–Two men & two women sat at table next to me. One man is telling a woman, “It’s not a bad idea to leave newspapers.” #WowMustBiteToungeHere

–I want to yell sooooooo loud — if you have ANY talent or smarts, leave the newspaper NOW. Don’t stay in dying industry. #AirportConvos

–So apparently saving rows of seats is now a thing on #Southwest Airlines flights. So why is it called general boarding then?

–Long line of people heading from back of plane toward front looking for seats, #Southwest needs to stop saving seats stuff.

–Safe landing — always a good way to end a flight. #LasVegas sun looks like a cherry tomato. Big fire in hills west of town.

My biggest accomplishment during my just-concluded vacation in Southern California and Las Vegas is that I became an expert at using mobile Twitter and tweeting what was going on during my 12-day excursion.

So when somebody asks how my vacation was, I now don’t have to give them a complete blow-by-blow. Just e-mail them the link or direct them to my Web site and there’s the recap.

Perhaps the only thing of note not found below was learning that two of my cousin Mike’s children are now in their 30s. Yeah, Ammon is now 30 too. That was not a good feeling.

But if that’s the most stressful occurrence of a vacation, I can live with that.

Here is the tweet-by-tweet look at my 2011 vacation:

JUNE 2

–Shaquille O’Neal retiring doesn’t make me feel good. Kind of like when Nolan Ryan retired, it is the type of news that makes you feel old.

–On positive note, looking forward to TWO WHOLE WEEKS without work. San Diego, Las Vegas & Southern California in general on my June radar.

–Time to board flight to lovely San Diego. That tells me it is now #vacation time.

JUNE 3

–Mona Lisa has best pizza in San Diego. Been way too long since I had that scrumptious pizza. Get to see my sisters’ kids Friday! #vacation

–Sharp rally by #Mavericks in huge victory over #Heat. I’m the guy saying series pressure is on Dallas, not Miami.

–@JenelynRusso Thanks! … and thanks for setting up the good weather … 🙂

–Great weather in San Diego on Friday. Had a blast with my sister’s awesome kids. #Padres game on Saturday night agenda.

JUNE 4

–At #Padres vs #Astros game at Petco Park. Great seats — first base in Field Level. Aaron Harang pitching.

–Speaking of #Padres Harang, same Little League that has Award named after my dad has one named after a relative of Harang. I presented the sportsmanship award named after my dad.

—#Astros Carlos Lee (335) has more career HRs than anyone from Panama. #Padres scoreboard butchered last name of second-place Ben Oglivie (235). Spelled it “Oglive” #PadresNeedAFactChecker

–Getting harder to enjoy strolls on Las Vegas strip. These guys & gals are 20 deep on every corner trying to hand out escort girl cards & pamphlets. Um, if I wanted one, wouldn’t I already have a handful from the 20 of you at the previous block? #TakeControlOfYourTownLasVegas

–Oh, one more thing on the annoying folks snapping escort cards at every Las Vegas strip corner: These dang things are LITTERED EVERYWHERE.

—BreezyInBoiseBri Eggers to @MrSportsBlog take them! They’re free vegas trading cards! They can’t legally talk to you, but they would say, “collect them all!”

–To @BreezyInBoise Oh my!! That was hilarious! I busted out laughing! So if I get duplicates of buxom blonde, I can trade for petite Asian! #LOL

—BreezyInBoiseBri Eggers to @MrSportsBlog exactly, but keep in mind Ashley with the big stars is worth TWO twin cards. She’s bustier.

JUNE 9

–Terrelle Pryor isn’t interested in the CFL? Too bad, I’ve always had him penned as a third-down WR in that league. #GoingWayOfEricCrouchSoon

–The Rubios in the Monte Carlo hotel is calling my name. On goes the sunscreen & out the door I go.

–Those Rubios tacos were delicious! #Boise needs one of those, along with In-N-Out & sports bars that don’t close before games end.

–About to use that second free New York New York roller coaster pass, then time to figure out where to watch #Heat vs #Mavericks

–Survived New York New York roller coaster again today. Girl behind me must have vomited cuz she needed towel when ride ended & was woozy.