A blonde city girl named Sue marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Sue, “The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow’s stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?”

The rancher leaves for the field, and after a while the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. “I came to inseminate the cow,” he says. Sue takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when Sue sees the nail, she tells him, “This is the one right here.”

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, “Tell me lady, because I’m dying to know, how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?” “That’s simple”, she confidently explains, “By the nail that’s over its stall”. Laughing rudely at her, the man says, “And what, please tell, is the nail for”? The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on.”

The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards President Obama and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!”

Knucklehead. The father’s answer was: Well son the boy horse hurt his hoof and the girl horse was helping him get back to the barn. The little boy then replied, ” Huh, Just like people right Dad. You try to help somebody out and you end up getting fu#### every time.