This week, dozens of papers across the US refused to print long-running strip Doonesbury in their comics pages on the grounds that the topic it tackled— Texas's abhorrant new sonogram law — was deemed "too controversial" for the delicate sensibilities of Hagar the Horrible readers. But one newspaper's blog took things in a different direction, attempting to envision what it would look like if other beloved comics from Peanuts to Mary Worth addressed the controversy. And hilarity ensues.

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Doonesbury's take on the law introduced the public to such brilliant phrases as "shaming room" and "with this wand, I thee rape," but the Houston Chronicle's blog conjectures that other comic characters probably could've added to the conversation as well. Imagine the gang from Family Circus playing "Texas doctor." Or Archie telling Jughead Jones that his talk about ultrasounds with Vernoica didn't go so well.