Friday, 29 July 2011

Seems like it has been pretty clear that YES I AM HEADING TO BELGAUM, KARNATAKA, INDIA. In a sudden, however, this morning around 11 something, Puan Salina, who happened to be an officer at Faculty Of Medicine, UiTM called me. I was so happy to see her number on the phone's screen, eagerly took it up and answered it with calm.

The heart pounded hard. I failed to gain admission to the place I have been dreaming all day long to go. Just because my CGPA wasn't enough to make it through. Thanks UiTM for all the memories during Pre-Medicine, you have turned me down. But that's okay.

Then again, I must be absolutely thankful and grateful to have a second option. Thank you MARA for calling me the other day. And I was happy and over the rainbows to be selected among those who applied. Seems like all the adventure was worth a try. I am also relief that I made the decision to attend to the interview. Thanks a lot to dad for accompanying me all the way to Kubang Kerian, Kelantan too :) AlhamduLILLAH.

Genuinely, both Malaysia and India have lots to offer, provide pros and cons. So to make them crystal clear why I have been ranting to study medicine in the country and why I made my decision to fly to India, I listed the following reasons:

MALAYSIA

Advantages

1. High requirements for admission to medical courses in local universities. So once you are in, you can be considered as superbly good. But, guess I am not. HeheheXD

2. Provide local lecturers aside the foreigners. Better understanding, when you find it slightly difficult to converse in English. *Be real Dayana. This is the sign that you will be able to brush up your English*

3. Problem Based Learning is implemented, especially in UiTM. Thus provide better way to understand cases and relate them with the symptoms and signs. *eemm...I am pretty sure there will be PBL too in USM-KLE*

4. Family lives here. What is even better than having to stay close to them? Maybe I am sounded a bit childish and bratty, but here's the fact. Family washes away your inferiors and also sometimes, tenses.

5. No need to worry on money currency. Been living almost 2 decades in the country, been shopping around with Ringgit Malaysia. Easy breezy shopping is indeed a pleasure for those who manage to study here.

6. No worry on food. Halal food is everywhere.

7. Can celebrate yearly occasions with family members. Again I sounded bratty.

8. Can drive here and there. And building up more fat in the adipose tissues thanks to lotsa nearby fast food restaurants. Added up to the fact, there are tonnes of drive-thru...

9. UiTM offered AMS (Advanced Medical Science) degree if you completed your second year with honour. It could be an added up basis for you as a medical student and as a doctor in the future. Guess, I won't have to dream about it now though...

10. New campus in Sg Buloh (UiTM) which alike Puncak Alam, is superb. But this is not a major problem since hostels at KLE are of five class standards too.

11. Friends are abundant. Yet, life is about adventure, in every phase, find yourselves new troops of friends. Build up networking, Dayana. Don't be too narrow minded.

12. Clinics are located everywhere, in case you need to see a doctor. In India however, I am not quite sure, if I were to have my bronchitis back, who should I ask for help? My room mate?

13. They got JPA sponsorship. RM 5600 per semester if I am not mistaken. They will be instantly rich brainiacs. Bounded 10 years to the government, and Voi'la you don't need to pay back. And do you think 10 years is lengthy?

Disadvantages

1. Less experience on life. No opportunity to cultivate yourselves to other people's culture unless you are going to the Borneo.

2. Small and poor ventilated rooms with bathrooms outdoors. Misery I tell ya.

3. Quite unhelpful when it comes to possess English as the medium of interaction. Mostly, students will talk more in their native language thus, would be bad for their learning process in a long run.

4. More expensive medical books.

5. Hot and timid climate almost a year round.

6. Small space lecture halls. Not conducive.

7. Mosquitoes breeding farm. They are handy to give you sleepless nights.

8. High chance to become a bit racist especially when you are surrounded with MALAYS all the time.

9. Inadequate cadavers to provide students with hands-on experience doing dissections and knowing every little details of the human body.

10. Couldn't learn to cook or brushing up cooking skills, since food are provided on your 'doorsteps'.

So now, lets move on to why must I go to India ??

Advantages:

1. First amazing collaboration between Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM) and a well-established medical institution in Belgaum, KLE. Who doesn't wanna be a part of this incredible giant medical school?

2. Obtained a M.D degree from USM after you completed the course. This is just super amazing because USM has been established so well in the country, so no one would question whether it is accredited or recognized.

3. USM KLE is located in Belgaum, where there's 4 seasons and by this September it would be winter. Sorry to say, there's no snow, but it will be super cool to be in low temperatures.

4. Superb five star accommodations. We can choose to have single bed, or twin bed. With bathroom attached.

5. Superb five star facilities in the campus.

6. Dedicated lecturers. By the end of the class, they will surely ask again where do we don't understand, not just swift away and leave us blurred.

7. Meals provided by MESS

8. Abundant cadavers...

9. Cheaper medical books, very cheap...

10. AMAZING FOOD. My friend who went to Karnataka for a holiday, said the food was marvellous, and they get to eat at lavish restaurants since the price are so cheap. *macam mana nak slim ni haih*

12. Enable to learn multi-dialects of Indian languages, Kannada and Hindi. Thus, they would be pretty handful once I returned to provide my service in local government hospitals. :P

13. Cheap phone-calls rates.

14. Nice venue to shop for more clothes, that I can ask the locals to tailor. I heard they are good doing baju kurung, we'll see then :)

15. No over-crowded lecture halls.

16. Tip-top computer labs.

17. Get to feel the incredible India, and what not to experience living in other country. To go to Taj Mahal is also in my head. It is time to be independent. Hahhaa.

18. Gotta save to travel to Kashmir, or to China or to London. HEHEH.

19. Took only four hours to reach Karnataka from Malaysia, so it won't feel that much of a jet lag...and besides, return tickets are cheaper compared to those in the European countries. I am certainly blessed:)

20. Going to be the second batch at USM-KLE. The second troop of pioneers, so it would be great having the chance to be a sort of ambassador bragging about it, hehe. InsyaAllah.

21. Small groups of students thus, I see this bright chance that everyone will mingle so well with each other, to create one big happy family, insyaAllah.

22. One difference of USM KLE compared to USM KK is that, in India, there will be held dissection classes whereby lecturers will guide us to do dissection for one to two hour. I am very excited for this one. But better take it slow and steady. Over-excited leads to bad luck, sometimes.

23. Have the chance to learn how to save like an adult. Got to pay back 20% of the loan by the end of this course. So better keep the money rolling into the piggy bank!

24. Fast Internet speed, but inaccessible to YouTube. Sorry Youtube, you might have to say bye to me in 5 years to come. Ahaks..!

25. It's chilling, but dry. But chilling keeps you excited and comfy...

26. We would be provided with cleaners to tidy up our rooms, with no charges to pay, but seniors advised us to at least give them some tips. Do kind to them people!

27. For girls, there's laundry service available, with rate as low as RM7 per month. Hehe.

Disadvantages:

1. Gotta be super tired with 6 days per week classes. But it would be fascinating.

2. The English pronunciation from the Indian lecturers could be quite tedious to understand sometimes. So, I better did some earwax removal before boarding off. HEHE.

3. Will have to adapt to the food at first. But, adaptation can be cultivated.

5. Of course, groceries would be different than what we could find here in the country. So, yes, another adaptation is required.

6. Far from family teach us to be strong.

7. Need International Adapters for electrical appliances.

8. Fully English must be conversed. Problem? NAAAHH

9. Super duper tough examination questions. What do you expect dayana? You are pursuing degree in medicine right? ahaha.

10. Nothing else I can list.

So yeah, my parents are now eagerly enthusiastic about this one. Biasalaah, anak sulung kesayangan. *Cough*

And thank you for modernity, Facebook HELPS a lot in the sense of connecting some of my future coursemates and what not with the seniors. Blogs also come in very handy. Credits to Kak Chick (Ruben) for her time answering my Questionaires. And also other seniors like Aidil Yusof and Erwyn Ooi.

>>p/s: nak beli henfon apa eh? that is worth the price and come in handy?<<

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Indeed, a blog is not only a medium to voice things we have in minds but more like to sort the mess in our life. I have a nice example whereby I was having frustration at Pre-Medicine. I had this terrible inferior complex, so to ventilate the feelings, I wrote and posted them down. That week only, I have got five comments telling me to be strong and whatnot pieces of advice. All of them helped me a lot to strive in Pre-Medicine. (*ceh baru pre-med, dah tension bagai. Loser betul aku. Haha*)

Other example would be during the days I utterly explained and complained regarding the dark sides of Puncak Alam. The misery of having to repeat foundation again. Then, came some friends of mine, commenting, again giving advice and words to note. In a sudden, the miseries seemed to vanish. This is certainly the power of blogging. And, I must admit, blogging is also my 'way' or method to stand rigid to the ground, second thing after Allah S.W.T.

A blog plays a vital role to set a good example to readers too. Our main goal when setting a blog, must not be based on popularity, even though I must admit, sometimes I am kinda sad not to be receiving comments after months, which would makes you to be negative, and think that no one wants to follow your blog anymore. Basically, according to Hilal Asyraf's book- Batu-Bata Kehidupan, when one's blog, he or she must at least set a mind to help his or her readers. Help in the sense as a Dai'e or playing part sending Islamic messages to the readers. Whether or not people would see the posts as useful, that is not taken into account. What matters is we try it hard to 'call' viewers/readers out there to be closer to God Almighty

So, in the end, we must do what we think best. Not only for ourselves but people out there. Turn the ease we have today for mankind. And, I too, have my own mission in this blogging world insyaAllah. Probably, I will post down my next 'adventure' in India. Pray that I will. Hehehe. I love blogging and when we totally in love with something, make it useful. Thanks for the time reading this:)

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

I dwell with so many confusions lately. And I hate all these messes. How I pray I could erase them and let them go away. But I guess, I must keep positive, that all this mishaps would turn out as my useful guide and allow me to grow into a better conflict solver.

Been attached to a blog by Kak Chik a.k.a Ruben, who happened to be one of my future seniors at India. Simply like her blog, even though it is sort of a tedious time trying to read it. Sorry, but I am a bit harsh when it comes to lots of abbreviations and lots of 'on-purpose-misspelling' (ejaan salah yang disengajakan). However, as a total, her blog and bro Aidil Yusof's blogs are terrific and super helpful. I should hand in kudos to Naqib, a best friend, who linked me this blog a couple of months ago. HEHEHE.

So basically, Kak Chik was very helpful as a Q&A ambassador. I asked stupid questions like how long does it take from KL to Bangalore and how long will class runs a day? And things like that. Yesterday, I got confused with SPC (Skim Pelajar Cemerlang)- which I am puzzled how did she managed to get it even though she was from PASUM, since these days I thought SPC was only meant for SPM fresh graduates, like what Nina and Zaki got earlier.

Then, here's the answers, a very long and informative one I supposed, regarding the MARA thingy which I have been trying to copy inside this slow brain.

owh.. lagi satu sy nk ckp.. basically jpa pye scholar pun bkn scholar free.. if u don't want to work with government in years(according to the contract) u need to pay back all amount that government spent to u...

about the book.. don't judge the book by what u heard.. u have read those books... buku tue nati jadi makanan ruji awk.. bukan sume orang ada buku fav yg sama... u will understand what i said once u experience it.. tempe mean local tempatan=tempe...

recomendation is based on usm text book.. u will get the list in buku fasa satu once u register the course..

hubli is a place.. u will take a plane from bangalore to hubli.. search in google map if u wanna see it.. kiranya it is a transit...

belgaum-bangalore jauh mcm kb-mersing.. as i told u earlier...

July 25, 2011 7:04 PM

So, YES, now I knew a little bit on how this 'loan' works. Now, I have to pray real hard to get it. Handed in all the necessary requirements already - with my father. Just hope they read my essay carefully and understand I need it. Please, Dear Allah The Most Merciful, gives me strength to face this with calm.

Monday, 25 July 2011

To leave precious people behind and explore the world independently is my next mission, insyaAllah. Unfortunately, the feeling of wanting to be at home surrounds me most of the time. Could I do this?

I have the least experience of being independent. Since I was born. parents have been supporting me up and down and been there for me when I need them. I must be really stupid at the age of 16 whereby I frankly told my mom I don't need her to be with me all the time. Now, at the age of 19, I want her to be beside me no matter what. I am a spoil brat after all.

I guess right now, at this moment, is the best I have achieved. Thanks Allah for all these happiness and joy that I have been dwelling in.

And, yes, after so many months waiting for the answer, where should we go to pursue our degree, the answers are finally here. My friends in Asasi have been praying to be within each other at close distance.

"Doa eh supaya kita dapat Uni dekat"

and they said that thing over and over again everytime we bid each other farewell. But Allah knows best.

Asasi UiTM would be my amazing Alma Mater. I sort of grew in that place even though I bloody despised it at first. I was a fool during that time when crying out loud, hesitating not to accept the offer. Luckily, dad and mom persuaded me, one day the three of us went to sight seeing the campus. It was new, it was also a bit silent since it was less occupied compared to what it would be like now. I then found some other friends who would attend the same course, so I fake a smile on my face and click yes to the offer.

Guess Allah has certainly destined the best place for me to kick start my studies. I am blessed with friends, and these amazing girls who keep me strong and rigid as well as providing never ending laughter. We rarely go to classes together because of we stayed in different blocks, but in classes, we never did separate. Macam belangkas although it had just been less than a year studying under one roof.

Firstly, I am so thankful that I have Calvin. A good friend to talk and to listen to my problems and I must admit he is the first male friend at UiTM whom I always feel comfortable to talk eye-to-eye. He was there when Chiam died. And he can sensed the despair of loosing a good friend. He will be studying in UiTM Sabah, and will miss him a lot. My first friend ever from Asasi would be dear Dina Azureen. One of many class clowns, and everyone could laugh or smile for her, even when she starts to speak. Glad to have meet her and reunite again on the recent 21st July 2011. She will be flying to Bandung, Indonesia, pursuing medicine at Uni Padjajaran twinning with UKM. Such an amazing opportunity and I am absolutely positive she would be one great kind and lovable doctor just like the one in Patch Adam. Seeing her smiles would already bring calamity in myself. Hehhee.

After Dina, I would say my other friends would be Azneeza, Azyan Amani and Syikin. Three muskeeteers of beauty. Simply love them. Azneeza and Azyan would pursue dentistry after this. Azneeza will be heading to UiTM Shah Alam (USA) and Azyan will be boarding off to Alexandria, Egypt. On the other hand, Syikin would be leaving to Sarawak, to study at UniMAS. What I love best about Azneeza is that she's the most relax person I ever encountered, yet she is always consistent with her studies. Then, she's so cute and funny too. I should thank her a lot for her Canon DSLR that cause our pictures during reunion 21st July looks totally amazing heheehe and the most important thing, made all of us looks beautiful. (Perasan Lebih)

About Azyan Amani, just don't mention: She is the strongest and coolest person I know. Love her cheeks and I am puzzled why she doesn't like them :(. She looks amazing with those cheek bones, seriously. Very humble and kind. I simply loves her voice and adore her for her alertness in small details, especially during laboratories in Asasi. Syikin, by the way, is so simple yet adorable. She's the best person I have in Asasi to blabber on Gossip Girls and to talk on new movies and new video clips. We certainly miss the moments hanging around in her room on every Wednesday to catch up with horror movies. I miss screaming aloud like crazy. Hahaha.

Not to forget, I will forever miss my class representative: Her name is Eliza :) Simply a loud person I ever know. And the most confident person among these girls. She's strict and focus. I like her because she's sooo sarcastic but at the same time, her sarcasms didn't hurt at ALL. She will be heading to UniMAP to further her studies. And thanks for joining us on that very day of 21st July:)

Dina Syafiqah or Dinas is another person I shall mention about. She is an amazing planner and manager, seriously. She deals with all the prospects for our vacation to Sabah merely on her own at first, and certainly she did a great job. A big crowd of applause should be giving to her. Sometimes she would be a bit moody, but she is fun to be with. I have a great time managing our hotels and trips at Sabah with her. ehehhe. Even though, I didn't help much, but she never nagged. Thanks Dinas for being so patient. And goodluck at UKM, and I know it will be a good place to start a new life for our future:)

They are great people and they are my friends. So lucky to be part of them. Special in their own ways and now we are even going to embark into another journey of life. I will miss their voices, their jokes, their sarcasms, the way they look like when they were eating, when they were sulking, when they were mad, when they were extremely happy, when they were sad and all those stupid things we did together. I had a lot of fun this year alone, and I should credit them BIG for this.

Saturday, 23 July 2011

After so many months, I finally could watch this 'Ever Wanting To Watch Horror Movie'. Insidious is not just any horror movie, and it is just 100 times better than any local hantu pocong or pontianak and sorts.

Insidious is also a new word which I must add into my vocabulary. It is defined as : harmful or proceeding in a dangerous way. And as the story goes, it certainly INSIDIOUSLY FRIGHTEN THE HECK OUT OF ME.

The movie was smooth. It revolves around a family of five, who just moved in into a beautiful house. In the family, there're 3 little kids, and the eldest would be the one who is on focus. He is Dalton. A very cute little boy who loves discovering things in his new home. While his mom and dad were both busy with their own things, he would went to the attic and play like any other kids of the same age.

One fine day, Dalton who was playing in the attic saw something strange and thus tried to catch the thing. He climbed on this wood ladder and it broke. Dalton fell and knocked his forehead. He then cried for his mommy and daddy who was downstairs. They ran up to get him and he just had a bruises on the forehead, no serious injury. They tucked their son in bed and wished good night.

The next morning, Dalton didn't wake up. His dad, was worried sick. Brought to the hospital whereby doctor diagnosed that he is in coma but bizarrely he has no signs of serious head injury or blood clot or whatsoever. To let him stay in the hospital would be in vain, so he was brought back home.

After that, strange things keep happening. The pity one should be the mother of these kids, who keep listening to voices and whispering. And one night, their little baby daughter cried. The mother saw one entity in black, and she screamed. The father then went downstairs, and found out the door was unlocked.

They moved out again after many scary nights. But the similar things keep happening. The mother would see this 'ghost' hopping around and dancing in their house. Even Dalton's grandmother saw one black entity standing beside Dalton in his room. A satan that have been wanting Dalton's body.

Well, after that we would know what the heck was actually occurring in Dalton's body. There's this kinda of ghost expert called Elise who explained that Dalton was experiencing Astral Projection or in other words, he is sleeping, physically, but spiritually, he is travelling to another dimension, a dimension of the dead. 0.O...

Then came the twist, whereby, the similar thing had also happened in Dalton's father. When he was a child, there's also this ghost who kept appearing in his photos, so since then, Dalton's father would never had photos of himself. He also experienced astral projection and stuff, so his son, Dalton seemed to be inheriting that capability. The only way to save Dalton and bring him back would be sending his own father to travel to that ghost dimension through hypnotize.

And so, yes, Dalton's father or Josh, went to the ghost world, whereby he was actually in his own previous house but with the ancient occupants. They were the dead. He found Dalton in some sort of a dungent, which look like artificial hell. While trying to return to the real world, guided by the voice of his wife, he saw the same ghost that haunted him when he was a child. An old woman in black. He kept telling the ghost to go away and it seemed like he made it, but the end of the story was unexpected.

His soul and Dalton's were successfully returned. Everyone was so happy including me. But, when Elise, the ghost expert saw Josh's hands, she suspected something wrong. It was not Josh's hand, but was pale and wrinkled. She quickly grabbed the paranormal camera, and SNAP. When she looked at the LCD, she knew she was right. It was not Josh, but the old woman ghost. The ghost strangled Elise to death. Josh's wife came to see what had happened as she heard screaming, but she was too late. Elise was dead, and what she saw in front her was not Josh, but the old woman ghost. WAAA...

Friday, 22 July 2011

Macam takde kerja je post on this matter. But I never imagined how my statement in Facebook could results in some rage within Harry Pothead's fans. I am amazed and impressed for their love towards Harry Pothead.

Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part II where IT ALL ENDS, was amazing. Even though I somehow skipped some of its movies, the last two before this one, and stopped reading the books since Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets because my friends kept stealing them, I still CAPABLE to understand what It All Ends trying to tell the world.

Fred Weasley died was a despair. I almost cried because of it since I saw how Ron mourned over his brother. Even for Selverus Snape, it was such a disappointment to see him died. Overall the movie was the best for the year, and up till the moment I went back home after watching it.

However, after watching Hanna today, it seems like Harry Potter was a more expected kinda movie, compared to Hanna, which contained a lot of unexpected and nerve-wrecking scenes. 'I miss your heart' and BANG-Hanna shot the ox right on the heart, and so the ox died- This was the opening scene. Seriously, we tried to think who is this girl. So brave, living like an eskimo in the middle of snowy nowhere.

In that snowy-forest, Hanna a girl, a young one, just enter adolescence, was trained by a man named Eric, who she thought was her biological father. Apparently, Eric was a secret agent, macam CIA, FBI whatever elses that exists in this world. So Eric was damn good in martial arts, and stuff involving kicking people and make people no longer lives in a cruel way- or in other word- a killer.

Hanna, even though was still young, had an amazing muscle strength, boleh siat lembu pakai tangan je weh :P And she can also speak in several languages including Arabic, remember many scientific, and medical terms. The one I remembered was on kissing- involving 30 muscles-including the osbicularis oris. LOL.

But Hanna was also run after by this one woman called Marissa, an agent too. Well, basically, Hanna is one of many mutant babies, who was 'created' in a lab/in an association, whereby they wanna make a good soldiers for the future. So, genuinely, they took many fertilized eggs/embryos and improvised them in terms of muscle strength, power and reduce the senses of pity and scared. But one fine day, this agent called Marissa, closed this project and thus she tried to kill all these mutant babies. And Hanna, was taken away by Eric, which I don't know why? Maybe because he pitied that little girl or something, and Hanna's mother, died, as she was shot by Marissa.

So, mostly the plot was about, Hanna running away from the CIA/FBI dungent, and she escaped through the Morroco borderline, where she learnt more about life-knows electricity and stuff. In the end, she killed Marissa. The end. LOL. I hate reviewing, because there's so much to be summarized. Seriously, this one is worth a watch. Paying RM10 is not a waste after all.

EM...I will certainly give 8 out of 10 for the movie Hanna. And for HP7 perhaps 7.9 out of 10. HAHAHAHHAXD

Thursday, 21 July 2011

Special gift from a special friend :) ehehhe. InsyaAllah. This is only the beginning towards reaching the life-long dream. Ya Rabb, gives me strength in whatever obstacles and hurdles I have to face afterwards, make it in India or here. Ya Salam, protect me from harm and danger. And yes, it is again a beginning of a long journey. Amin..:)

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

One day I listened to one tazkirah on TV9. The Ustaz mentioned that 'forgetful' is one man's behavior to survive and it's good in certain condition. Example would be like if during death. Have you ever imagined what would happen if humans are not gifted with the sense of forgetful? He or she would probably be in mourn for days over the demise of his or her beloved person, which would lead to other psychological sickness. Thus, being forgetful has its own advantage.

There is also one story narrated back from the Rasulullullah S.A.W time, whereby there's a woman, whose love for Rasulullah S.A.W was at the very peak, thus even she faced with the death of her relatives during war, she said, the challenge and sadness is small after she had seen Rasulullah S.A.W in a good condition. Her love makes her forgets.

But, I was shocked when there're certain people who easily forgets us although once upon a time, I mean not once upon a time, even though JUST LAST YEAR, we were families. I am talking about my agents, who happened to have consoled as my 'uncle and auntie'-they who helped me during my dream on going to Russia. They were nice persons. They would listen to our problems and all-but then again I guess that's how business runs.

So, early this week I made a call reaching them. The auntie answered and asked who was on the line. I told her, HEY IT'S ME...DAYANA. But I guess I am the one who have been so overjoyed to call them. The auntie didn't recognized me. And added to the dismay, she asked, which Dayana was it? She has my number before, but why did she asked me who I was on the phone?

HAHA. I was shocked when this actually happened. We were like family only a year ago, and now??? Easily forgets. Frustrates me a bit, but who cares.

Sunday, 17 July 2011

This is an emotional blog people. Mostly, you would here my whines and sad stories. Some would be great news, but then again, I might also, delete this blog one day URGE myself to write more on positive things. HEHE.

It has been 3 BLOODY days dayana azhar, face the fact already. You have gotten two amazing universities. Both are research universities, UKM and USM. So what's so sad? But yeah, UKM didn't offer what you wanted best right?

So basically, after lotsa talking and discussion with mom and dad, with my cousins and all, I decided that maybe India is the best option. I would definitely, without doubt reject the Biomedical Science offer from UKM even though it is a bit interesting. To be frank it was the last option I had on the UPU, so I never imagined it got hooked. But Allah knows best.

On the same day, I knew I was offered Biomedical Science at UKM, that afternoon, came another offer. I never would imagine the interview at Kelantan was worth it. Then again, I am glad that it was worth the journey and the adventure we faced.

Alhamdulillah, it was USM-KLE International Medical Programme. I myself do not know what the heck it is at first, but MARA was the one who insisted me to apply and to go to the interview. This program is more like what UKM has with UNPAD. More like a twinning. Unfortunately, this would be a five years program at Karnataka, Belgaum, Bangalore, India. On the other hand, KLE is referred to Karnataka Lingayat Education, merely it is a new name for a former renowned Jawarhalal Nehru (JNMC) in India.

Basically, the MOU between USM and KLE was signed only a year ago. It already has MMC accreditation and thus a good place to study. For details please just browse through this : USM-KLE and also HERE It is not so bad at all, just that the problem is the news from MARA. So I guess I'll just have to wait.

Also, the hostels are of five class standard. And not to mention, the environment is chilling thus suitable for study and sleep purposes. HEHEHHE. Cadavers are abundant. I read one blog post from a senior telling that even in the first year, they already managed to get hands-on the cadavers, doing dissection which is SO FUN indeed. HEHEHE.

But then again, noticing that I will be boarding to India soon and leave the family here and leave the dream to study medicine here, and the friends, and Khayra Amani, brought tears down. I have been crying for days, Both because of happy and sad. No matter how greener the grasses on the other side, ours will always be the best to step on :) I will miss UiTM badly. Why you didn't opt me? Why? I also hope my appeal gives me good news. I am still wanting to go to UiTM as they are lot of friends I already know.

This is the dilemma. More stressful when a teacher from school who suddenly called me and said she has to adopt me if I really want her to help to get a place at UiTM or UKM. Apparenly, her husband is a doctor/cum lecturer and has a lot of connections at UKM and UiTM. So, I was thinking to use this cable but I need to have a strong relationship, that's why they want to adopt me. Sadly, I don't like to burden others. I hate to involve in some sort of complexity that would bring myself into a complete mess. Being an adopt child in a sudden? What is this?

I then talked to my teacher's husband, and told everything. He of course frankly said that my results from asasi is not good enough to secure a place at UKM, and I know that. I realised the fact of being just plainly average for that course at UKM. But he is also lending me a hand for the appealing at UiTM but he did say that I should just go to India. Regarding UiTM, I have to send the details over to my teacher via email, which I haven't done it yet. Maybe tomorrow, em I just hate troubling people.

Naqib, a dear friend, then told me to be strong. He said, Allah loves me so much that he gifted me this wavy journey from the start. I should face this with patience. Because Allah has said in the verse of Surah AL Baqarah, Verse 286:

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."

Certainly, I have to go back and seek for guidance, and repent for what ever sins I committed that put me into this situation.

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Malaysia is my country. Studying medicine here would be my loveliest dream. Guess what? I can't. Why? Because I am just not good enough. I love Pre-Med. I am thankful for the experience. But in the end, I was given false hope. Fake.

As my parents are now agreeing on India. Oh didn't I tell you I got India instead? So, perhaps, InsyaAllah I will go there. But then again, this time I am using cable to apply for UiTM. Emmm....Ya Rabb, Gives me strength to overcome this. I need you the most.

Friday, 15 July 2011

Today supposed to be the day of our future. Of the first step of our future.

But guess what, I was back fired. Dayana Azhar, see what you've done. I told you not to be overjoyed.

Sorry Huda Razak. I am not strong enough to face this fact yet. Thus, I am not going to gathering tomorrow. Call me selfish and call me weak. I guess I am both.

Life has been bad, it has been a round ball and a tyre. Only a month ago, I saw light. Now I see darkness. Thank you life. Thank you for all the wavy journey.

Or maybe it is because the definition of my name that made it this far. My name means 'THE STRONGEST'. I like it. And you can laugh, it didn't bother. Maybe because of this name, Allah put me this way.

Now, due to this dimness, I must seek for light. I must write a pledge letter begging, kneeling for a place for medicine. I hate this. I bloody hate this. I hate to curse. But they are coming out, oozing out any seconds now.

But seriously, reciting the HOLY QURAN heals the sadness. I was crying madly after seeing the results. And what not to know my classmate got UiTM and I didn't meanwhile I was a PRE-MED student. This is sad. So sad. So sad. So sad. So sad.

Suddenly, I found a temporary peace. Tears started to slow down and all the feelings I have now is insecurities.

I have a very bad luck dear readers. And you know who pity me? Allah. And He's the only friend I have.

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Khayra Amani is my cute niece whose photo is on my FB profile because of her cuteness

nakalll

A month ago, I was badly ill. Almost like dying seriously. My bronchitis was severe. I couldn't even talk. Even I myself thought that I could not continue Premed, but AlhamduliLLAH Allah made it smooth till the end.

Photogenic and photogedik. Simply irresistible.

Mak teh picked me up from Kolej Mawar and brought me back to her home. Her home is like my second home and she is Khayra's grandmom.

I was taken care by Mak teh and my cousins like a princess seriously. Glad to have them. They made me porridge and let me sleep in this comfy bedroom.

THE GOOD NEWS was....Khayra Amani was there too:) I was so happy, when she asked me, "Demam ke?"

Then, she put her hand on my forehead to feel the warmness, and she exclaimed. "WAHH PANASHHNYA!"

Khayra then offered me the porridge and she herself got drooled, so she ate it with me. HAHAHHA.

She frustrates me. And I am more frustrated with myself, for not being able to help and guide her. I might not be the pious person she can look for if she needs someone to guide her. I myself have a lot to improve. I am just sad not to being able to be with her when perhaps she needed me the most.

She has always been the craziest person I know. Always the bravest and always the funniest. Always the zealous. But yesterday she shocked my heart out. She is now far estranged from the sirathol mustaqim. She makes me scared by all her confessions.

To the ONE who in concern, all I want you to do is repent dear. Repent and never repeat the sins. I am praying for you day and night. Because again I am your friend.

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

And he is my father. The most handsome Encik Azhar bin Mohammad Arshad. His college friends called him Ustaz. He quits smoking since 20 years back because of my mother. He quits his big job because he wanna be closer to his family. He stands out among all because of his patience, his good leadership skills and good communication skills. He's now my master chef and a wonderful companion. All I want to do NOW is to make him proud. Thanks Dad for listening to my nagging and still be patient. Thanks Dad for the wonderful trip to Kelantan. Thanks for loving us :)

All over the places, I was in awe of the abundant of Tulisan Jawi on shops premises. I was glad to see billboards with Islamic-featured women models and the fact that there's no cinema or cineplex around would be another uniqueness of that state. Not to mention, there's no highway connecting Kelantan to other states, therefore the whole journey took 8 hours to reach there, and 10 BLOODY hours to return to Kajang. AlhamduLILLAH the journey was smooth throughout.

USM campus was nice even though it's old. The hospital is attached to it, so you can imagine how easy for those doctors who work there. The kelantaneses are nice too especially one aunt who I happened to need her guide to the hospital bathroom. She told me to be extra careful while bathing because strangers can easily peep and go inside. I was glad to have my little sister to accompany me, if not, imagine how to bath in a bathroom with no lock?

I am thankful to have my patient dad around. Even though I was all moody that morning and kept nagging about this and that, he kept calm. He kept telling how easy the interview will be held but I on the other hand kept pressuring my self. I am so stupid..

Even though I was badly scared if I couldn't reach there early, I was actually the earliest to make it. I was also the first to be interviewed. Em it was nerve recking but seriously a nice experience. Now, what can I do is pray for the best. India seems interesting but like what the Malay saying goes;

Saturday, 9 July 2011

My heart is now beating tremendously because of anxiety, nervousness, and butterflies in the stomach. Thanks friends and whoever who wished me good luck. And thanks for the support and prayers peeps. I need these.

In a couple of hours, I will be rushing to Kelantan. And yeah, I can't say anything except nervous. Can't decide on which baju kurung to wear is another problem. Been pissing off my family members today because of this anxiety. WAAA

I hope they don't ask extreme questions because I am not a extreme person who could answer with extreme answers. I just wanna them to know I love medicine with no specific reasons. No words could describe why.

Friday, 8 July 2011

Yesterday morning, as I woke up from a very good night sleep, I found a change on the blogger. The dashboard is now new and it is the second change made by the administrators. My comment on it? Well, better than the first change lol.

Then, this morning, as I woke up, Facebook got a new FB chat. It can now imply video calls. But it meant nothing to me actually since I rarely do video calls. I prefer typing and not seeing the other persons while chatting. HeheheXD. Because you know, for girls it would be a drench to grab head covers or shawls just to see someone online.

Other changes are I myself, who happened to feel this blossom of gratefulness and syukur to Allah S.W.T, for HE has planned the best destiny for me from the start. Attending Asasi had somehow put me now to where I can hold on: to many friends whom I can consider as some of the best things that ever occurred in my life.

I have Dina Azureen- who is always funny and a good laughter-kind-of person. I can tell her almost anything and she would listen. It's great to have one funny person who could tell simple stories, but still it felt like the stories are some kind of comedies. Thanks Dina Azureen for everything. You will be flying to Bandung to further your medical degree. Alhamdulillah Dina. I am happy for you.

I have Dina Syafiqah - who kindly our best manager in the group. Always the best 'planner' among us. And the best driver. You too goodluck at Puncak Alam's UiTM once again for another 4 years of Pharmaceutical studies. Hehehe ;D

I have Azneeza Manan - who I called her Jija. She's the most slumber person yet but still the brightest. Always the fun ones and loves watching horror movies and odd movies. She terrifies us with her weird way of eating but still that would make us have the good laugh together. Naissseee...;D

I have Nurul Ashikin - who I adore for her patience and kindness. We used to hang out in her room at Puncak Alam every wednesday for girly girls' movie. She's a true friends for anything, and so adorable too. Too bad I couldn't accompany her to ronda-ronda KL, due to several reasons. emm sad..

I have Eisya Aiman - a very calm lady who is cute enough to just prick her cheeks. Just got her P license which marked that everyone in the troops of girls already have the license except me. T.T. She's so funny and eat a lot yet maintaining those super plywood figure. A jealousy-factor indeed.

I have Eliza Lehan- a quite bossy person yet so fun to be with. With lots of experience working and experience in life. The most responsible person I ever met, and so diligent. A total leader!

I have last but not least the cute Azyan Amani - a very lovable person who is the strongest person I know. Lost her mom recently, but she gave us this example to stay cool and strong at whatever conditions we pursued. Always tell me that being a dentist is better by mentioning about dentists can wear high heels but doctors can't. hahaha. A very sarcastic person too, and can be spontaneously funny. Love her a lot!

I have Naqib - one of the guys both I firstly met online and in real life, who still on the go to have this friendship with me. A doctor to be too, who is now busy preparing for his A Level exam and IELTS- and going to pursue medicine in India. Met him first during asasi, and it was sad to see he left. But I was glad the friendship does not stop. He is a very good motivator and always my hub of advice as well as information regarding scholarships and such. Glad to know him and met him:)

I have Doc- who is now a fresh medical doctor. Just returned to Malaysia from the Soviet Land. A nice guy who I have met both online and real life. And always there when boredom strikes, well sometimes. And always on the go giving those spirits to keep moving on with the madness of wanting to be a medical student. Hahaha:D

There are indeed a lot more friends I would like to mention here, but just save it for later. Above are the girls who inspire me in everything they do, and how they act. I love everyone's personalities and they are the ones who support me in and out besides Allah and my parents. I am lucky to be part of them, it's an honour.

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Ok. This post tells you readers how 'stress' the form five batch gonna be this year. That includes my brother of course.

Last Sunday, I happily and willingly eager to follow mum and dad to SM Sains Tuanku Munawir or previously known as SASER. Objective was simple; to fetch my brother's previous mid-year exam slip.

Brother in magenta, with dad in white, heading to meet the teachers

We were kinda late since every classes were crowded with parents and family members. Altogether, we took about two hours and managed to meet almost all the teachers except for his math teacher and Ustaz.

Not to boast, but my brother turned out to score quite well even though he did flunk compared to last year's. He is now at the 18th spot in the overall 100++ form five students in the school. Not bad considering that he's now at Saser. He managed to get 2nd place in his class and the boy who was at the first spot in his class managed to beat other boys and consistently at his comfort zone of being on the very top of the scorers.

Teachers mostly aimed big. At boarding schools, usually, teachers would spoon fed you. And it depends on how hard you did your revision to enable you to score good marks. Frankly, my brother didn't score a straight A's and he did worse in Bahasa Inggeris which made all of us quite shocked. But I am not that 'afraid' and 'concern'. Because, you see, mostly, students won't show their true colors during normal exams but will turn to roaring lions and score so well at the real examination.

My parents were quite relieved to hear that my brother has not that much of a problem regarding disciplines and focus. Just that he like many others would sometimes fall asleep, and that is normal for teenage boys at boarding schools. Teachers asked my brother to aim for A+ and at least A. Even A- these days won't bring you 'nowhere'. They somehow frightened him, I could see in his eyes. Adding up to the fact that he's now among the line of boys who are being nominated as potential scorers.

'Score A+ wan...and scholarships come kneeling to you' -- this is ALMOST how the teachers sounded. At the same time, my brother looked scared.

the boring and sad face of a 17 year old SPM candidate

The best thing happened to me at his school was that teachers kept noting me as my brother's little sister meanwhile I am the eldest. Funny though because I usually looks like someone's mother. :P HEHE

And knowing how hard it is for my brother to hold that position right now, make I pity him. Boarding school has surely changes him to the better. Better in the sense of his studies. troop of friends and also social skills. It makes me happy seeing him there. At least, he will be having one Alma Mater to brag about once he leaves. Hahaha.

A+ for core sciences subjects are tougher than anyone could ever imagine. Even I myself failed to obtained those pluses. Just pray that he could. He has the potential. And I'll pray for his best every single seconds.

>>>p/s: relax bro. 3 more months, then enjoy your heart out. You will be drown with boredom AHAHA. By the way, his Biology teacher told him to be a doctor, but he himself said NO<<<

Monday, 4 July 2011

Last night, Azyan, a very good friend of mine from Asasi sent me a text message. Usually, her messages would content words of thoughts, and words that would cherish my day. However, it was not the same for last night. I was shocked, to read, to actually read that message full of sadness.

'My mum passed away. Al-Fatihah' - sent by her.

I myself burst into tears, and I bet her condition is worst. I just hope and pray to Allah Al Mighty for her strength to face this. I know she's strong, and patient, she has always been one of those values. And let's pray that her mother is placed among those who are of good taqwa and imann.

Saturday, 2 July 2011

PENANG, 27 Jan – Teaching and learning using real corpses (cadavers) is a key component in the USM International Medical Doctor Programme carried out in collaboration with KLE University in Belgaum, Bangalore, India (USM-KLE).

KLE, otherwise known as Karnataka Lingayat Education (KLE), was basically established to carry out teaching and learning activities in various fields in Karnataka and South Maharashtra, India.

USM-KLE which has five-star learning and accommodation facilities is regarded as the best alternative and significant location for Malaysian students interested in pursuing a medical degree overseas.

The Vice-Chancellor of Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM), Prof. Tan Sri Dato’ Dzulkifli Abdul Razak said that in order to obtain much better and effective learning experiences, students must take full advantage of the fact that cadavers are used in their studies.

He said that so far there are no universities in the world that are prepared to provide cadavers to meet the needs in the teaching and learning process because of the difficulty in obtaining them. It is different in India, where they are donated for learning purposes.

“We have to take this opportunity to get the best education and the time has come to change our perceptions about India because not everything is bad,” he said in a media conference here today.

Copy and pasted from the USM-KLE Introductory Page. Hehehe. Alhamdulillah, I will go for an interview at Kelantan next week, inshaAllah :'). Right now, I am sort of trying to study for the interview. Never in my life I attended one, this would be my first, well if I excluded the job-seeking interviews of course. Serious nervous.

The good news is I got the call, the bad news is I don't know how to go. Mom is going to Melbourne on the ninth , meanwhile I have an interview at 8.30 am the next day. Therefore, I have to rush helping mom out on packing that night or probably I have to run errand to get a bus to Kelantan. Mom won't be there, so only dad is around. Probably, I would tag my sister along to help me with the girl's thingy.

Hopefully everything would be just fine till the interview ends. I need this. I have been browsing through a couple of blogs owned by the first batch's students at KLE, and the campus is superb. But UiTM is better, and always better :') Plus, in India, I would have the best experience on clinical skills what not it offers adequate cadavers to 'play' with and that's the fun thing about becoming a medical student right? LOL

Till then, pray for me my dear readers. I am not hoping high, but if there's rezeki, I would go.