I dont know what it’s like to have to be living in your home while it is getting remodeled, but after this experience I am pretty certain I will not like it.

For the last week or so our garden has been torn apart and destroyed. Blood, sweat and tears have gone into that garden, as measly as it was… I was proud of it. Even when you know the destruction is temporary and the bigger plan (if successful) will be amazing, beautiful and fulfil the legacy I am trying to live out… I still cried when we couldn’t save the big Loquat tree. I cried when the bluejays and gold finches fluttered frantically around wondering where their favorite boxwood bushes were going. I cried when I had no where to transplant my 2 month old baby corn plants when we had to pull up the garden box… and they were fed to the animals. I cried when they were done working that first day and everything was empty… completely empty and I suddenly lost my vision that had been so vibrant and inspiring. What had I done?