I’m sitting here in my office in Chicago, thinking as to what I’m going to write about comics. I’ve been publishing comic books for over six months now, as the co-publisher at Z2 Comics. In that time I’ve met incredible artists, discussed stories and characters, gone through sleepless nights peppered with nightmares of cash flow, and had these brief, fleeting moments of joy as I held a new issue of a book we just made in my hands. I’m wondering how to describe that feeling, as it would be the core of this piece, and for some reason I’m having a hard time putting it together in my mind.

And then Prince fucking died.

The Purple One. The Artist Formerly Known As. The Foundation of so Much of My Childhood. As the news of his passing settles in, the world is responding with a flood of memory, of the moments of personal experience his music played a soundtrack to. People losing their virginity. People discovering their sexuality. People facing loss. People letting go. Precious memories triggered by an artist who spoke to us, who, in our bedrooms, on our radios, in our earphones, in our personal hideouts, seemed to understand us.

Very few of us personally knew Prince, but he helped us get to know ourselves. That was the power of his art. And right then and there, a memory so visceral hit me that the indescribable feelings of holding a new comic book in my hand suddenly became lucid.

Cut to 1986. It’s a cold, Saturday evening in Ocrober in Denver, Colorado. I’m eleven years old and Prince’s “Kiss” is playing on my shitty clock radio. I’ve just returned from a long day of shopping with my family at the Buckingham Square Mall in Aurora. Mom is cooking Indian food and the smell of masala fills the house. I’m sitting in my room on my twin size bed, ready to embark on an adventure. In my hand is Issue #3 of Elektra: Assassin by Frank Miller and Bill Sienkiewicz. The cover has a blood-spattered, shell-shocked Elektra being photographed like she was a prize shot in a big game hunt. It’s a shocking cover, equally beautiful.

I’m eleven and I know I’m not supposed to be reading this book. But I’m ready for it. For the next hour I’m assaulted with a fractured narrative, psychosexual tension, orchestral violence and immense, immense beauty. This was unlike anything I’d ever read. I was transported. I was transformed. Elektra, the sexiest, toughest woman I’d ever encountered and motherfucking Prince being the soundtrack. Can’t beat that with a bat. After dinner I broke out my watercolor set and tried desperately to make something that looked anywhere near those stunning paintings. Nowhere close. But I knew what I wanted. I had found a place, and had found the artists who helped me get to know myself.

I’d never felt this with any other comic book or novel. Elektra: Assassin was a bold, wildly inventive and innovative piece of work that didn’t hold back. It didn’t cater to anything but its own desire to say something. It directed me to other works by Miller and Sienkiewicz, to Alan Moore, to Dave Sim, to Moebius, to Katsuhiro Otomo to Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean; artists who were uncompromising in their innovation and therefore their honesty.

For me, comics are moments in time, sealed with sights, sounds, smells and locales. It didn’t happen with every issue, rather there were specific books and artists who were bold enough to simply go there and make a statement, to not create filler, to make a sign of the times. As I got older and began to understand the industry of art, I came to realize the power of people like Karen Berger and Jo Duffy, who championed artists and allowed them to express themselves without fear of repercussion. Editors who were willing to stand by their creative teams for the choices they made. This was the mystic alchemy of powerful comics, the ones that stuck, the ones that defined. I can tell you the history of my life according to single issues, just I can do with the entire discography of Prince, or Bowie, or Nirvana, The Cure or Public Enemy.

This is not a hallowed memory, as there is art that continues to define moments. The final issue of Y The Last Man, the current run of Jason Aaron and Jason Latour’s Southern Bastards, Kendrick Lamar’s entire output and the films of Jonathan Glazer and Andrea Arnold. All singular voices, all championed by those who believe and defend their message. These are important works, and the conviction behind them are inspiring in their courage and their audacity.

So when it comes to our turn at the publishing table, we want Z2’s books to have the elements of being potential memories. We chose projects that resonate with us emotionally, and collaborate with artists who we reassure and empower to be themselves. Ian McGinty’s Welcome to Showside is not just a colorful adventure, it’s about young people having to meet the lofty expectations placed upon them. Chris Hunt’s Carver: A Paris Story not only harkens our love of hand-crafted European comics, but also resonates with wounded hearts dealing with loss and grief. Our new books like Indoctrination, The Sweetness, Hyper Force Neo and Legend are all built on foundations of questions – sometimes brutal ones -that we collectively seek answers to, and that journey is paved with expression, technique and flair.

Art is only as good as the artists and institutions behind them. Many masterpieces are never seen because they weren’t promoted or championed. A lot of great art gets lost in the glut of output that we currently live in. Elektra made it into my hands because a comic book store employee at Mile High Comics saw that I was a very complicated kid who was ready to read a title that was never intended for children. He championed it, and in doing so, he championed me, and I am forever grateful.

Prince created a legacy over four decades. Jeff Buckley and Elliot Smith did it over a handful of records. Vince Young did it in one masterful fourth quarter against the USC Trojans in the Rose Bowl. Alan Moore forever changed the nature comics with a single conceit in Saga of the Swamp Thing #21, when he asked if a vegetable could be fooled into thinking it was an altruistic man. Moments of clarity all begin with a single catalyst, and where we go from there is dependent upon our commitment to finding the truth. We have hits and misses – more of the latter – along the way, but they culminate to that final moment where things begin to reveal themselves to us. A seed is planted, a kid reading a comic book decides to embark on a journey which will change her life forever.

Prince died a few hours ago. His loss , along with Phife Dawg, David Bowie, Lemmy and so many others in this brutal year for music reminds me of the transformative power of art, and our obligation to keep putting new art out there, to support the voices which may paint the future and color our past. It’s arduous, frustrating, stressful and can lead to our demise, but listen to the final three minutes of “Purple Rain” and you’ll understand why it is so incredibly worth it.

Heidi MacDonald is the founder and editor in chief of The Beat. In the past, she worked for Disney, DC Comics, Fox and Publishers Weekly. She can be heard regularly on the More To Come Podcast. She likes coffee, cats and noble struggle.

Extremely well written, beautiful piece, Sridhar Reddy. My all-time favorite musician is Prince. And my all-time favorite comic artist is Sienkiewicz! Looks like we’ve got something in common! Hmm, I wonder now how it all does work together. Maybe it is a level of complexity in artistic interests. I’m always drawn to messy, scratchy, unsettling, and raw in most forms of art I end up loving.

I still can’t believe Prince is dead. – at 57. It’s really hard to wrap my mind around that one. He too, was the voice of my youth, and in a way, and especially at the age of 45, it’s almost the feeling that my childhood has finally died… odd as that may sound.

Nathan Aaron thank you for the kind words. I think there is a connection between artists like Prince and Sienkiewicz, in that they give us art that feels and doesn’t just show. Sienkiewicz was quoted that he learned something from Picasso, which was to draw and paint what something feels like as opposed to what it looks like. It was the transformation of his style from a Neal Adams clone to the wholly unique style we know today, and he’s still pushing forward. Prince I feel was doing the same, giving us music that was no doubt technically unparalleled, but it sounded like what he was feeling as opposed to what he was composing. It’s the essence of soul. These artists don’t have to make things that are pretty, they just give us what is in the moment, and that’s what connects.

I second the feeling of the death of childhood, and in many ways I’ve now come to accept it, and welcome it. There was a wonderful line at the end of Fabio Moon and Gabriel Ba’s comic book DAYTRIPPER that stated “it’s only when you accept that you are going to die, that you can truly start living.” Our childhoods are meant to fade away, along with us. Prince would leave us, I guess I’m more shocked that he went so soon. I’m not ready for this. :(

“He too, was the voice of my youth, and in a way, and especially at the age of 45, it’s almost the feeling that my childhood has finally died… odd as that may sound.”

Prince was only one year older than me, so imagine how I feel.

I went to a local theater this week and saw “Purple Rain.” First time I’d seen it in a theater since 1984. Did that movie take me back. And it made me feel old.

I was in my 20s when it came out, the characters in the movie were in their 20s, and were played by actors and musicians in their 20s. We’re all in our 50s now — the ones of us who are still alive. Guess I can be grateful for that.