but still Random and Rambling

Entries tagged with love

Two weeks from yesterday we drive to Nashville and get on the plane to Sacramento, on our way to Yosemite so Mark can rappel and climb El Capitan. Quite the adventure for a man about to turn 50. Our total travel time is two weeks. We have a day or so on each end for flying, and sleeping and showering in real hotels. Rental car (SUVish) from Sacto to the park. But 8–10 days in tents and going down to Curry Village to shower and eating camp food and fast food. I really do love him beyond the point of reasonableness, I'm telling you.

I will NOT be rappelling in Yosemite. This one, rightfully so, requires experience and qualifying rappels that I do not have. That and the fact that the hike from the "high" camp (Yosemite Creek Camp if you know anything about the park, it's accessed from the Tioga pass road) where we will be, to "top" camp from where they will rappel, is a grueling nine hour, 9-10 mile, carrying rigging and gear backwoods trek. That usually takes all day, then you are exhausted and sleep up top and rappel the next day. I'd rather be martyred.

There's 32 people total, I think, and not everybody will rappel every day of course. I think Mark plans two rappels and one climb up rope. Rappels are about 45 minutes, and I think climbs vary between 3-6 hours on a rope. People climb in pairs. I will be "on belay" at the bottom the first day Mark rappels. There's a whole, complicated, excel spreadsheet of where everyone is supposed to be and when.

Turned out to just be mostly long and boring. (Should have made Min pick me up on her way to DragonCon. *g*)

Mark left Friday morning for "Pupfest" --a caving/camping outing every Labor Day instituted by a caver named, you guessed it, "Pup". It's a big thing, peole come from 3 or 4 states, and one flew in from Canada. And he didn't get back until late Monday, and I just missed him horribly. More than I anticipated. We're usually just fine for a few days apart (remember I spent a good deal of the summer in TN), but this time, even tho Thomas was here, I just felt lonely. Maybe it was the last straw for too many days spent apart this summer. Appearantly, he missed me too, because the highlight of the holiday was Monday night, just the two of us.

And I didn't just sit around all weekend. I was busy doing "fun" stuff, it just wasn't distracting enough.

On Saturday, Thomas got me up fairly early for a Saturday. I'd mumbled something the day before about bookstore.... So we spent the day doing the "girlfriend" thing (if your girlfriend is a geek). Best Buy, Hobby Lobby, Barnes & Noble, The Fret Shop (they sell violins, etc.).

And in the middle somewhere, we ate out at a little restaurant called the "Wild Flour Bistro" which was not what I was expecting, and way more expensive than I was expecting, but what the heck. I thought it would be a little specialty cafe, maybe feature bread products, or not, sort of like The Atlanta Bread Company, but not a chain. But it was very fancy, real table cloths, hovering waiters, and entrees like 'Rack of Lamb.' We both had Prime Rib au jus (the special) and desserts. He had Keylime cheesecake, and I had a hot fudge and Grand Marnier sundae with pecans, real whipped cream, and a cherry. I had both the house red wine (forgot the name) with dinner, and coffee with dessert. Both were excellent. you can tell oodles about a restaurant by the coffee. And the bathroom was spotless. I may get Mark to dress up and go with me sometimes.

Thomas was embarrassed about being under-dressed, but I assured him that the restaurant experience just wasn't what it used to be, and most people would be causally dressed. And it was very early, so we were one of the first 2 parties there. (I was "business casual" but he was just khakis and a Tee.) Not long after a group of four walked in with their shorts and tees, looking like they'd come straight from the yardwork. Don't get me wrong, I'm not as much of a snob as that sounds. I just come from a time when going to a restaurant was a treat, a special occasion, worth getting cleaned up for, not just something that happened 4 days a week because no on has time to cook. And if you were going to (knowingly) pay those kinds of prices, dressing for the occasion makes it just that much more special, and worth the money.

And Sunday my older son graced us with his presence because he needed me to go to the phone store with him to get a replacement for the phone he'd broken. I was glad to see him, and find out about classes this fall, etc. I just wish he came for more reasons than need. We all miss him. And Rhiannon manages to find time to visit with her family. It's difficult to watch him struggle with things that I could show him the easy way for, if he'd just ask. And yes, I have to wait until he asks. Remember how well you listened to all that unsolicited advice your parents gave you? No matter how many times or how I say it, I can't convince him that independent does not mean the same thing as alone. Far from it. Knowing when and how to ask for help is a key part of achieving maturity.

Mat spent a good amount of time complaining about money, and lack there of. Which I'm NOT helping him with, since he's in financial straits because made a series of bad decisions that he'd been warned were not going to turn out well, and still insisted on. Ever since he was able to talk, my method of discipline was "natural consequences" because, turns out, that's Life's main teaching tool, as well. I'm not going to just throw him to the wolves, and he knows that. He knows that if it gets THAT bad, he can come to me. Or he could come to me now with a reasoned arguement or proposal for loan or raise in allowance. But I am not going to offer that. And he knows that he created his mess, and that his parents, like the future "Real World," expect him to figure it out as best as he can.

Anyway, since he was talking budget shortfalls and all, Thomas says, "Oh mom! We need to help him save money by taking him out to a restaurant for dinner tonight." That Thomas, he'll do Anything for a meal out. I gave him the eye, because Mat and I both knew that Thomas cared nothing about Mat's money problem, except that it would be useful to help him get to go out the second night in a row. I really didn't care, so I told Mat to ask Rhiannon and come up with a restaurant, since she has dietary restrictions (gluten free) and they're both vegetarian. We ended up at Applebee's. It was good, and fun. And if you're there and don't know what to get, Applebee's makes an excellent onion soup.

But the highlight was Mark coming home. As I was not falling asleep Saturday night, I actually considered going with him next year. Yes, I'm actually contemplating camping. I must love him more than I thought. But I am NEVER repeat NEVER going into a cave without being sedated to the point of unconsciousness. I will NEVER love Anyone that much!

I am home!! My darlin' was VERY glad to see me, and I, him. Happy happy homecoming.

And,

Thomas is in Tennessee, and I'm STILL at home. Just phenomenal the strides he's made this year. I called today and asked my mother, and she says he's just fine. Working hard. So I'm free to stay here and take care of the many things that have been left undone here on the home front.

And Mark and I are getting a taste of what it's like when the nest is empty. Meals for two, privacy, etc. And I was able to spend a day alone in my own house. weird, but nice.

Thankfully, after taking all the drugs I had in the house, and a long hot shower (long enough to use all the hot water and turn me to a prune), I felt much better by the time my darling got home from the cave.

“When you fix, you assume something is broken,” Fred said. “When you help, you see the person as weak. But when you serve, you see the person as intrinsically whole. You create a relationship in which both parties gain. The purpose of love is to serve.”

“Service is the rent we pay to be living. It is the very purpose of life and not something you do in your spare time.” — Marian Wright Edelman

"May today there be peace within.May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.May you be content knowing you are a child of God.Let His presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and everyone of us."

Give more than you take. Do your best to leave every situation better than you found it. Seek beauty in all its forms. Chase dreams. Watch sunsets. Endeavor to use more than 10 percent of your brain. Don’t stifle your deep-from-the-gut, cleansing laughter. Take a moment to ponder the enormity of the universe, then admit to yourself that you can’t possibly be the center. Breathe deeply. Swim into the dark water. Let yourself cry when your body tells you to. Love more. Delight in silliness. Don’t be bitter. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.--Katy Rhodes