This is like recess with the special-needs kid in his wheelchair ramming the sports jock in the ankles.If the jock punches Timmy in the face he's deemed a bully. If he does nothing Timmy will pinch his nuts with his reaching stick.

Good bye, Golden Age of the United States. Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend. The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten. Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival. I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy. I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left. The cats and I live like we've never lived before. I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air. And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.

ahmadinejad: Yesterday, they said they were restarting their reactor.khamenei: Uh-hu,,ahmadinejad: But today, they said they're launching their missile. So, what do they think? Everybody's just gonna wait till they're ready?khamenei: dunno, they're makin' us look normal!ahmadinejad: HA! - - heykhamenei: oh, relax

Giltric:If I was China I would use NK to start an engagement with the US and then decimate the US in an all or nothing war.

That's silly, because that war would end with the world an unusable, burnt cinder, and all civilization reduced to grunting and painting on cave walls with chalk. Also, China has no interest in attacking the US. We are far too important to them, economically. Remember, they need us a WHOLE lot more than we need them.

What China SHOULD do is invade North Korea. This might sound crazy, but is actually a perfect solution to all of the major problems China is facing right now:

1) Overpopulation of young adult males. If instead of using their higher-tech arsenal, they instead start a draft, targeting undesirables - males 18-30 with no education, a poor or non-existent job, and a potential for getting restless at home - and then send the drafted men on foot into NK with barely enough equipment to have fought the first Korean War and no training, they could get rid of a ton of their unwanted young males. Which leads to...

2) Korean Humanitarian Crisis. If they send those poorly armed, angry, violent young men with no futures into North Korea, they could effectively get them to slaughter a large percentage of the native population. Especially since most of the native population is technically in the reserve, anyway. China is good enough at locking down on critics, foreign and domestic, and powerfule enough, that they could get away with this without suffering any serious backlash from the international community. After all, who's going to impose sanctions on China today? And since they have a permanent veto at the UN, they are essentially above any kind of real reproach or punishment. Wiping out most of the NK citizens eliminates the threat of "the worlds biggest humanitarian crisis", as so many people like to call it. This, in turn, opens the door to...

3) Mineral wealth. China has a decent supply of mineral wealth already, but most experts agree that NK has HUGE reserves of rare earth metals. The same rare-earth metals that make most of modern technology possible. These deposits are worth trillions, and would be a huge boon to China's wealth. It would also act as a safeguard against internal economic collapse. China's economy is actually incredibly fragile: they're essentially one really bad corruption scandal or a good look at their TRUE books away from economic colapse. Think 2007, and then multiply by 100. That bad. A huge pool of new mineral wealth would act as collateral against their currency, and ensure that they could weather any major shock to their banking system. It also buys them time to begin cleaning up their act, and stabilizing their currency - something they can't do now, since any move to strengthen the banking system and weed out the corruption might just send their existing economy tumbling off the edge. And speaking of which...

4) Eternal expansion. China's current economy revolves around perpetual expansion funded largely by the government and government-run banks. But most of this expansion lately has been of the "We need to do something, anything, just to look busy" variety. This is what's driving the creation of the massive ghost cities. Or the world's largest mall that sits almost completely unoccupied. Or any number of other ridiculous projects that churn the money around enough that it looks like the economy is growing, even if it isn't. A large, newly-claimed cache of mineral deposits would serve as a focal point of expansion, and allow the government to keep this artificial expansion going by heavily financing NK reconstruction and development. This will give their economy enough steam to push forward even while the central planning committee works on a sustainable and stable solution.

Really, this is a no-lose for China. To top it all off, it would establish them as a true super-power, acting as a unilateral interventionist force to patrol their region of the world. It would also simultaneously strengthen relations with the US (most of us are idiots, and love people flexing their muscles to beat down a "bully", even if said bully weighs 85lbs and has been coaxed into it by the star quarterback, who then proceeds to clobber him guilt-free), and will diminish US power in Asia, sending a strong message to unaligned countries and our less loyal allies that there's a new sheriff in town. If they can wait until NK makes the first move, so much the better, since then they also look like heroes on the world stage.

In fact, I'm a little bit shocked that China hasn't already done that. They really need to pay me a lot of money to go over and consult.

cameroncrazy1984:SuperNinjaToad: no worries... I think the flash point of WWIII will be the mideast not northeast Asia. Highly unlikely. Despots, tyrants and crazies come and go BUT religions stay forever!

I guess if there is a silver lining in all this is there is no 'religious/tribal' variable in the equation and that is HUGE.

China, NK, SK, Japan etc are pretty much atheistic/agnostic type societies and no one is going to go to war because Buddha, MSM, Allah or Jesus told them to nor are they fighting infidels and die as myrtyrs and be rewarded in the afterlife.

Japan went to war because they believed their Emperor was an infallible man-god.

Jim_Callahan:Yeah, NK is setting itself up to be nuked... by China. The US would just take out the launch sites or intercept the woefully under-tech missiles the NK warheads are on, we tend to feel bad about picking on retards these days.

China... not so reluctant to respond to someone trying to start a war on their northern border with actual, preemptive force.

We should just send in the Blue Angels. They could do some loops and cool shiat, then write "Fark off n00b" in blue smoke in Korean as they fly away unscathed and Dear Leader shakes his tiny little fist.

I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

iheartscotch:Exactly, mein Fürher; excuse me, Dear Leader. It is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing

North Korea approves a nuclear strike on America? Isn't North Korea a dictatorship run by Lil'un? How does a dictatorship need permission and who did he get permission from? Are they saying that yesterday if he wanted to launch nukes, he would've been denied, but today it's a-okay?

I give myself permission to take a shiat. Now that I decided that I have permission, if I choose to do so, I may. Whereas 30secs ago if I had wanted to I would've needed to go through the extra step of giving myself permission. Unless this is like saying, "I"m going to take a shiat RIGHT NOW." Then that is more of a warning and a threat and everyone should be scared, especially those people in the car with me.

Come on USA, let's just liberate North Korea! They might not have oil, but think of all the kimchi and rice plus barbeque pork that we can "develop"! Better to take their kimchi, rice, and pork now than get blasted by nuclear bombs!

awalkingecho:legislation got passed that mandated that the USDA had to harvest Monsanto's crops even if a federal judge ruled that they were unfit for planting or consumption, effectively making them forever above the law.

I just wish there was a political party I could stand for.

The Republicans are evil to women and poor people.

The Democrats are evil to people who want to actually exercise any of those rights in the constitution.

There needs to be a STFU Party that just tells people who have problems to STFU and GBTW and let people who actually know to do things handle the problems.

ciberido:SuperNinjaToad: China, NK, SK, Japan etc are pretty much atheistic/agnostic type societies and no one is going to go to war because Buddha, MSM, Allah or Jesus told them to nor are they fighting infidels and die as myrtyrs and be rewarded in the afterlife.

Errr, not really. South Korea is about 25% Christian and about 25% Buddhist. You could say about 50% of the population isn't religious, and you could argue that South Korea is a SECULAR country in the sense that religion doesn't permeate their politics the way it does in a middle-Eastern country or even in the USA, but it's far from being an "atheistic-type society."

I think a good chunk of the remaining 50% are worshippers of StarCraft.

Those aren't hats. Years of living on a diet of "whatever the Chinese deign to give us" have caused certain members of the North Korean people to grow extraordinarily large, deformed brains. Those people are elevated to positions of honor and status. Those "hats" are actually their skulls.

You know, I have to say: If nothing else, when this whole situation is over and done with however it resolves... it's going to be a giant game of 'Told you so' on here. And I for one welcome our gloating overlords.

neongoats:MrHappyRotter: Good bye, Golden Age of the United States. Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend. The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten. Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival. I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy. I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left. The cats and I live like we've never lived before. I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air. And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.

Some Best Korean nerd is skimming this thread and is going to use that verbatim in the next KCNA news broadcast as evidence of our growing despair.

It will have to be edited. I mentioned the cats but the North Koreans believe we don't have any food here.

neongoats:MrHappyRotter: Good bye, Golden Age of the United States. Very soon, our lives will be changing forever in ways we can't even begin to comprehend. The wrath of North Korea will never, never be forgotten. Sure, some of us will survive and adapt to a world that would be unrecognizable to us, but it will be just that, survival. I only hope I'm one of the lucky ones that dies in the immediate aftermath and not one of the ones who will suffer under North Korean supremacy. I for one will be spending my last remaining hours of this life making the best of what's left. The cats and I live like we've never lived before. I'll probably even stop reading Fark for a few minutes and stick my head outside long enough to enjoy the fresh, crisp cool air. And then, I'll cry myself to sleep.

Some Best Korean nerd is skimming this thread and is going to use that verbatim in the next KCNA news broadcast as evidence of our growing despair.

But, you're spot on about China's economics and the wealth laying in NK territory. The only problem is 'getting to it' will take a lot of initial investment. A decade or more and untold millions, if not billions to modernize NK's mining operations to the point of being able to get at their RRE wealth.

China 'could' do it, but it's a massive long-term investment in a country that isn't their's AND they have cultural issues regarding the Korean people in general.

There are five nations on this planet that are culturally capable of serious long-term planning. They are, in no particular order, Japan, Japan, Japan, China, and Japan.

As you say, China might not have the economic stability to invest in that kind of plan. And the point you make about their view of the Korean people is definitely a factor. But if they have the money, they would DEFINITELY have the will to pull it off.

Meanwhile, our corporations' idea of a long-term plan is whatever makes the most money over the next, gosh, eight whole months!

iheartscotch:Exactly, mein Fürher; excuse me, Dear Leader. It is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing

Yes, but what good is a doomsday device if you don't tell anyone about it?!?!!

oldfarthenry:This is like recess with the special-needs kid in his wheelchair ramming the sports jock in the ankles.If the jock punches Timmy in the face he's deemed a bully. If he does nothing Timmy will pinch his nuts with his reaching stick.

Suppose Kim-Jong-Un wants to leave Best Korea and live in the Western world. He's basically been forced into a life that perhaps he never really wanted. How would he possibly be able to get out of that life? How about force the military to launch a bloodless coup that allows him and his perky wife to leave Korea and live a life of ease in China. All he'd have to do is act so recklessly that the military would decide that he is no longer stable.

Exactly, mein Fürher; excuse me, Dear Leader. It is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing

ClavellBCMI:Assuming Best Korea's Troll-In-Chief actually *has* nukes to spare to throw at someone, and assuming he actually has a missile to attach them to that can fly further than 1,000km, and assuming he has a guidance system that can actually allow a warhead to come within 5km of his intended target, he *might* actually be able to cause some damage... right before we turn Best Korea into the World's Biggest Glass-Covered Self-Lighting Parking Lot.

We lost face on the world stage when Bush invaded Iraq.

Do we get another peace prize when we incinerate millions of Nork civillians?

oldfarthenry:This is like recess with the special-needs kid in his wheelchair ramming the sports jock in the ankles.If the jock punches Timmy in the face he's deemed a bully. If he does nothing Timmy will pinch his nuts with his reaching stick.

There's no easy way out of this.

This is quite possibly the best and most accurate description of this situation that I've read to date.

GAT_00:Infernalist: I used to think that he was doing this strictly to shore up support among the ruling military class. Now...Now I have no clue what that lil bastard is up to.

He can't be serious. We all know he can't hit the U.S. How can this possibly end, except in humiliation for NK?

It's like..He's playing poker and going all-in with a handful of junk cards and we've seen them and he's still insisting that he's got a Royal Straight Full House Flush.

Yeah, this has gone long past just saber rattling for negotiating, unless he thinks that as long as he keeps upping the ante that eventually the UN restrictions will be eased. That isn't going to happen. What's more, he's Western educated in Switzerland, he knows that he's totally outmatched.

None of this makes sense.

That's what makes me wonder if Un is really calling the shots.I think the salad bowl hats are really in charge, and they really believe it's still 1953.