An American spy agency that currently has all of its greedy tentacles tightly wrapped all around every single household in the entire world — and not in a good way — has just accused EDWARD SNOWDEN of being a spy. How ironic is that!

And I’m still attending the Netroots Nation convention in San Jose, where we are currently learning about even more and better government and corporate ironies.

For instance, Rep. Mike Honda just spoke about how he himself was born in an American concentration camp for immigrants — but never even dreamed that concentration camps for immigrants would once again happen here in the “Land of the Free”.

Isn’t having the NSA tapping all our telephone lines making us “free” enough already? Apparently not.

Next I went to a symposium on immigrants’ rights. Apparently a comprehensive immigration bill is not being passed in Congress right now, but it should be. But then the growers and packers who currently exploit and endanger their undocumented slaves will have to deal with having said slaves come out of the shadows and throw them in jail.

And then Rep. Bruce Braley of Iowa told a tear-producing story about how the Maytag plant in his community suddenly closed down and moved off to China. How ironic. Our workers are being fired so that their jobs can be moved to Asian sweatshops so that corporations can pay less taxes and get cheaper labor at a high cost of you and me — yet Edward Snowden is the one that is being accused of being unpatriotic. http://www.netrootsnation.org/nn_events/nn-13/what-we-can-do-to-expose-red-white-and-blue-washing/

Irony is alive and well here at Netroots Nation.

Then there was a free food-truck event here, and then Senator Jeff Merkley and Dolores Huerta and Howard Dean spoke about stuff — mainly about how America today needs to boldly face up to the challenges of today’s America; not to challenges that may have been important to rich people back when Herbert Hoover was first elected president.

Get your head out of the sand, America. Or else climate change, endless war, domination by the greedy, etc. are gonna super-fry your butt as it sticks up there in the air. How ironic will that be.

Senator Barbara Boxer and Rep. Nancy Pelosi spoke next. “Republicans want to shut down the government,” Pelosi said. No they don’t. They want to own the government. And they already do. Another hypocritical irony here.

“I don’t know why Boehner cries all the time. Imagine if I did that!” said Pelosi. That’s ironic too.

And then there was another free lunch. Yay! And after that? Will the NSA accuse me of spying too — for running my blog?

PS: Tomorrow I’m gonna cruise by the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum on the way home, to look at all their mummies. America, wake up — or you may end up being mummified too.

Bradley Manning, Edward Snowden, Al Gore and others who fight for peace and justice — they are the waves of the future. How ironic is it that all that most Americans are doing right now is learning more and better mummification techniques — and being led by dinosaurs like Anton Scalia, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, AIPAC and Dick Cheney.

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December 28, 2012

The woman who said “I don’t pay taxes; the little people do” may have inadvertently undercut the level of seriousness that some people will give to the looming prospect of a theoretically higher tax rate for the one percenters in return for giving them a chance to see how people addicted to consumerism handle austerity. A thirty-nine percent tax rate that won’t be paid does sound more devastating than an irrelevant thirty-five percent tax rate, doesn’t it?

Wasn’t it established that Mitt Romney only pays about 15% in income tax? If so, how serious of a threat would it be to tell him that if the USA goes off the financial cliff the theoretical rate he should be paying will be increased and life will get grim for the people who get government benefits. Didn’t he dub them the 47 percenters?

Wealthy folks (like Mitt), after the first of the year, will be able to turn on the evening news, tune in to the nightly images of misery and drop out of the ranks of caring Christians. Those with cash register hearts will see going off the financial cliff as the starting gun for a race to exploit the rest of society in a time of hardship and suffering. Wasn’t there a Country song about chilling beers by holding it next to a cad’s heart? Did he get a job as a CBS TV reporter?

Looking forward to an apocalyptic event that coincided with the end of the Mayan calendar because it would provide excellent material for use in a column may have been just a tad immature and illogical and now that it hasn’t happened writing about how CBS Evening News has morphed from a televised version of the World News Roundup into a contest to see which reporter can be the first to get an interviewee to cry on camera seems a bit anticlimactic and mundane. If you had a buck for every time a person cried on camera this week and next on the Evening News, would you have a fistful of dollars or not?

After walking away unscathed from a rendezvous with certain death, it seems concomitant upon this columnist to inject a high level of joie d’vivre into our attempts to ridicule the arena of politics and perhaps in an year when not even Congressional representatives have to face the rigors of reelection to just focus on the other aspects of contemporary pop culture that are fun to observe.

Isn’t the yell that Wile E. Coyote gives when he goes sailing into the void a trademarked item that can’t be used without getting permission from a movie studio’s legal department?

When the fiscal cliff chapter of the political history of the USA started to unfold, didn’t Nancy Pelosi reassured Americans that she would bring up a measure in the House that had passed in the Senate last summer and thus avert a crisis? Did she forget her solution to the problem? Do the mainstream media journalists consider it rude to remind her of her promise?

How many skeptical commentators asked about how many Trevon Martin type incidents would occur in the schools if armed people are put in every school? Is it realistic to expect that the armed guards will provide the law enforcement example of baseball’s unassisted triple play with a Rambo reaction to a school shooter?

If Fox News reported that its viewers were exceptionally well informed and that the concept of “the dumbing down of America” was part of a bogus Liberal conspiracy theory, and their viewers believed them; would that be an example of the Epimenides paradox? Why is it that every time we hear the expression “I saw it on Fox News,” we think of the title of Ross Thomas’ mystery novel “The Fools in Town are on our side”?

Traditionally Ann Coulter used to use crazy talk to divert attention away from George W. Bush when the liberal criticism of him was getting intense. Apparently the Republicans asked Wayne Lapierre to substitute for her recently when they wanted to turn a discussion on gun control into ideological gridlock.

When we heard of the investigation into the incident on TV that involved David Gregory holding up an extra capacity ammo clip, we were reminded of the time back in the Sixties when a New York City local news anchorman (Jeraldo Rivera?) was arrested on camera by someone dressed like a NYPD cop for holding up a roach (ie a marijuana cigarette) while he was on the air. Who was that journalist? What happened to that case? Maybe if that on air personality is still serving time for that stunt, he can truly report that (for him) the Sixties still have consequences and aren’t over yet.

On one episode of the popular Sixties TV series Star Trek, the crew of the Enterprise was told that when the 21st century arrived massive land wars would be obsolete and that wars would be limited local struggles called Bush Wars. Is that sound byte on Youtube? If so we could write a column about that sometime during 2013.

If the World’s Laziest Journalist is going to relegate politics in the USA to the back burner, we could concentrate on other topics. We might even shift our tendency to post on early Friday morning (PST in the USA) to a different day and time. Maybe that would permit more readers an opportunity to skim our offerings?

Some cynics might suspect that a shift in emphasis away from politics to more of the “let the good times roll” reports might just be an excuse for this columnist to make the task of writing the columns more like an excuse to go out and have fun. Watching a lava lamp and being inspired to write heavy philosophical think pieces might have been appropriate before the arrival of the last day on the Mayan Calendar, but now that we have cheated death isn’t every sandwich going to be a treat? Didn’t a famous musician, after he learned he had a very serious health problem, advise people to “enjoy every sandwich!”?

Perhaps we should write a column about the old movie serials where a Hero (such as The Shadow as played by Victor Jory in the 1940 serial series) shrugs off a brush with certain death and plunges ahead with life in next week’s installment. Will the saga of the post economic cliff America be a similar story line?

If a person rolls his car and winds up lying on a remote highway with a bunch of broken bones there are two ways to react. One can either say: “Oh dear, this means a long stay in the hospital” or he can exuberantly exclaim: “I’m still alive!” We think that T-shirts that say “I survived the Mayan Apocalypse!” might sell well. With or without an augmentation to the bank account, this columnist thinks that all the members of the Mayan Apocalypse Survivors Association should make a concerted effort to make 2013 an enjoyable experience.

Yes, we realize that the suspension of unemployment checks is a serious economic situation, but if people who encounter that problem overcome the challenge just think of how baffled and aggravated the rich people, who expected to see soap opera existential crises every night on the evening news, will be. It will be just like in the movie serials. When 2012 ended it looked like “curtains” for sure, but when 2013 begins the financial cliff (except on Fox) will be No Big Thing (NBT).

If, somehow, the unemployed workers, manage to adopt a Zen existence that isn’t dependent on a weekly paycheck, just think how incensed that will make the capitalists who are counting on seeing the victims of their strategy suffer extensively. It would almost be as if the victims refused to suffer just out of spite.

Back in the Eighties there was a spate of self help books that advised people to cut back on their standard of living and retire at a young age. Perhaps some of the people getting their last unemployment check next week, should buy some used copies of those books this week?

After a few moments of contemplating what would make a good topic for a more feature oriented column, we realized that it might require a great deal of fact finding to produce a good trend-spotting column. On the other hand, the obvious absurdities in politics are so readily available and the mainstream media makes no effort to point them out and so such columns full of “these columns practically write themselves” material need very little effort to produce, so maybe we will just slowly transition into some of the alternative topics.

Do the places that sell marijuana for medicinal purposes make extra profits by selling such periphery items as lava lamps? Are T-shirts featuring a famous rolling paper logo still being sold? Do the pot clubs sell those rolling papers? Do rock concerts still include light shows? When is the Jefferson Airplane going to release a new album?

Was it George Carlin who first said: “If you can remember the Sixties; you weren’t really there.”? Shouldn’t the closing quote for this column be something more intellectual such as Nietsche’s quote: “ . . . when you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.” (We preferred to use the Wile C. Coyote howl of despair, but, alas, it was not to be.)

Now the disk jockey will play “Rescue me,” “Cry me a river,” and “Sea of heartbreak.” We have to go find a good VHS tape to play on New Year’s Eve. Have a “ . . . but what if an armed guard had been there” type week.

When I was in Minneapolis in June, I was fortunate enough to attend the kick-off event for this summer’s “Speakout for Good Jobs Now” tour, sponsored by http://action.progressivecongress.org/t/5854/content.jsp?key=3369, wherein various members of the progressive caucus of the U.S. Congress spoke to their constituents regarding the desperate need for creating more jobs in America. At this first event, Rep. Alan Grayson and Rep. Raul Grijalva fired us all up.

And so when the Speakout tour arrived in Oakland this week, I really wanted to go to this event too. And Reps. Grijalva, Mike Honda and Barbara Lee would be speaking this time. Doesn’t get much better than that.

At the Acts Full Gospel Church on 66th Avenue in East Oakland where the event was being held, the parking lot was jammed but I found a space. Inside, perhaps 700 people were already in attendance. I was late. And the warm-up speaker was already asking everyone to stand up if they had been laid off, were jobless, had college loans they couldn’t pay, couldn’t even get into college, who had no health insurance, who’s home was threatened with foreclosure or had already been foreclosed upon, who had lost their benefits, who felt that their Social Security was threatened, was currently on unemployment, etc. Almost everyone there stood up.

Then the speaker asked everyone to stand up who thought that the current Republican-dominated Congress was doing anything to help all us Americans — not just helping rich people. Two people stood up.

Then Barbara Lee spoke about how she was fighting as hard as she could to get Americans more jobs. Yay Barbara Lee!

Then Nancy Pelosi spoke too — and said all the right things about how progressive she was and how hard she too was working in Congress for us. We all applauded. And then she made one little slip. Should I forgive her for that? Can’t yet decide.

July 24, 2010

The water here in Las Vegas sucks eggs. My tea tastes like metal. And the sad thing is that the water power to the 27th floor of the Rio hotel is so weak that I have to run my bath water for 15 minutes before it becomes even warm — let alone hot. What a waste of the Ogalala aquifer. It breaks my heart to see all that water go down the drain. But will I just break down and take a cold shower? Would you? Er, no.

With a shower or not, it was still time to go listen to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi talk. Would she convince me that Congress isn’t being run by special interests and theat she, Harry Reid and President Obama haven’t sold out? Will they convince you? Let’s see. Here are my quickly-typed-up notes — from the front row. They may not be completely accurate, however. Blame that on my tenth-grade typing teacher.

When Nancy Pelosi came onstage, the first big question was whether her right-wing detractors were correct and she did have a face-lift. It was hard to tell. She does have a big smile. Maybe she was born that way?

“Pushing the gate open on healthcare was a big job but we did it. The leverage in Congress had to change from being in favor of the insurance companies to being in favor of the people. And we couldn’t have done it without you.” Without me? Am I finally getting some recognition? That would be nice.

But wait. Has Rush Limbaugh gotten a face-lift? Do I get the right to ask that about him? And what about Dick Cheney? How come I don’t look as good at that age? “Because Cheney eats babies…” someone once said. But I digress.

OMG! They are gonna play a tape sent to us by President Obama! “We’ve been working hard for the past 18 months but I know that, for many of you, change hasn’t come fast enough. But it took a long time to get here and it will take a long time to make it happen. But in ways large and small, we are working to make changes happen.” Then the Pres showed a tape of Rachel Maddow listing all of this administration’s accomplishments.

“We’re moving America forward,:” the President continued. “And that’s the challenge we face in November. Keep holding me accountable. Change doesn’t come from the top down. It comes from the bottom up. Let’s finish what we’ve started.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so-Uuooz-Zo

At the news stand here, the Globe (a National Enquirer wannabe) is pushing a front cover story that Obama was actually born in KENYA. They are still pushing that story? Give me a break.

“Will we see passage of ENDA any time soon?” someone asked Pelosi.

“It’s almost embarrassing that it took Congress so long to pass a bill eliminating hate crimes. We’re very proud that we passed a repeal of ‘Don’t ask Don’t tell’ in the house. When we started work on hate crimes, it was 22 years ago and we’re still against any form of hate crime.”

Pelosi then encouraged us to be leaders in this field of ending all discrimination in this country. “We won the ‘Don’t Ask’ repeal by 40 votes. That’s a big majority.” And there’s an education bill in the works too — the Promise Act. Good.

“Republican senators have held up many job-creation bills, so we never know what will go on in the Senate — so we been pushing education bills into other bills as well. But we are still pressing for a comprehensive education bill.”

Pelosi is also pressing for comprehensive immigration reform. “What is happening in Arizona shouts out for getting a comprehensive bill passed. We have to keep the heat on for that.”

Protecting Social Security? “I am opposed to raising the retirement age. Here’s the context. We must be fiscally responsible and subject our spending to harsh scrutiny and are moving on all fronts to remove the deficit. But talking about Social Security and the deficit is like between apples and oranges. To change Social Security in order to balance the budget, they aren’t the same thing in my view. As we make it more solvent, it will have a positive impact on the deficit. But we support Social Security. Our senior citizens should know that. This is its 75th anniversary.”

When Social Security was first implemented, Frances Perkins went to Pres Roosevelt and told him about her plan, and he replied, “You’ve convinced me completely. Now make me do it.”

“We can do only so much maneuvering,” Pelosi continued, “but we really do need outside persuasion. Just ourselves alone can’t make this happen. If you want these changes to come, make us do it.”

In 2008, the president was inaugurated and he called for swift action. One week and one day after that, this congress passed the recovery act that saved 1.6 million jobs. “And we are going forward, not going back. Our goal is to reduce the deficit, reduce taxes for the middle class and to create jobs around climate change.”

The House passed the unemployment bill last December but the Senate held it up until now. “We have a whole list, all of it paid for, but they dropped all the job incentives and just sent us back the bare bones. They demanded cuts to this unemployment bill but then demanded 700 billion dollars in unpaid-for tax benefits for the rich. Thank God we made the bill retroactive. But how many people can wait the additional six weeks for that check to arrive? This delay was due to the obstructiveness of the Senate. But. We are going forward, not going back. Obama has created more jobs so far than Bush did during his entire eight years in office.

‘Jobs are important but people need to see what the Republicans are doing about this. Nothing.”

“We want more manufacturing in America — as a way to develop more jobs in America. Where our manufacturing heartland had been, we must stop the erosion of these jobs. 39 Republicans voted against our ‘Fairness to American Manufacturers’ bill. Anyone can bid on contracts here in the US so we are trying to get some reasonableness on this. In China you can’t bid on contracts if you are from outside the country. We need to do that here too. This is very exciting.”

The House is also working on a bill that will differentiate between crack and powdered cocaine.

“When I became Speaker, my flagship interest was energy self-sufficiency and climate change legislation. This is not an issue the Senate can walk away from. It is a national safety issue, a health issue. We are either going to lead the world on this issue or be left behind. We have a moral commitment to pass this planet onto the next generation.” Billions of dollars go out of the country each day because of foreign oil. The emissions continue. We have to continue this fight.”

“No use bringing up a bill unless you can show strength. You can’t show weakness. Get up and show Congress how much this is of interest to you. It’s fundamental to a democracy. Make your voices known on this subject. We can maneuver and persuade and this and that — but remember Pres Roosevelt. Citizens United was a horrible decision. Foreign countries can now be having a large influence because of this, because there is now no full disclosure. PEOPLE [not corporatists] need to be in charge of our government. So let’s grab that ball and run with it. I like to show strength going to the floor. In 2006 and 2008, the leverage changed — to the consumers. The finance bill was the most important financial change in decades. And the most consumer protection in history. The leverage has changed. And in health too. For instance, it’s no longer a liability to be a woman.”

Regarding energy? “The oil patch, coal patch, every patch in the world was coming against us. This next election is very important. We need to have no regrets — that we took responsibility. One in fifty kids in America is homeless. We need to bring education and jobs to every level in America. Prosperity on Wall Street at the cost of jobs on Main Street? How dare they?”

Some Senators look with fondness on the Bush administration, according to Pelosi. “But we are not going back. We now represent the American middle class.”

Someone asked Pelosi about the role of women. “Running for office is not for the faint of heart. It’s all about power. Know your power. If you go out there to run, it’s difficult. But know who you are and don’t let anybody diminish your knowledge or experience. Women hold the key to our future. I was a mother of five kids in six years — so I got a sense of discipline and organization that way. We need young women at the seat of power. Some may not chose to go the family route but whatever your path, do it. Your presence at the seat of power is very important. Know YOUR power. What you bring to it. There is a whole change in what your daughters can do now. Young girls can go on to do anything and everything. And it’s their patriotic duty to step up.”

Pelosi is inspired by the women who went before her. “I went to the White House for my first meeting as a representative of the Democrats. I had no apprehensions because I’d been there before. I was sitting at the table of power and I felt packed and jammed on my chair. Sitting on the chair with me was Susan B. Anthony, Carrie Stanton, [etc.] All on that chair. And I could hear them say, ‘At last we have a seat at the table.’ And then they were gone. My first thought was, ‘We want more.’ We all understand our responsibility to women. We have every difference among us that we can name — but because we are different, we build a very strong fiber listening to each other. We all want to do great things for our country. We all strive for common ground. But if we can’t get bipartisanship, if we can’t get it, we are still not going back!”

And the speech was over and we applauded. But what did her speech mean? Did it mean that she is still a progressive and is merely being held back from creating a true American democracy by Republican fossils who regret that they can no longer live off of America’s blood and sweat like the vampires they are (no wonder vampire flicks are so popular among our youth!) Or has Pelosi, like so many of our other legislators, sold out to the corporatists who think that they own America — and probably do.

Time will tell. But for right now. Nancy Pelosi is pretty much all we’ve got standing between us and complete oligarchy and the total end of our American Dream. For this reason alone we may need to give her more support — and more snaps.

And last night I went to the Rio Hotel’s fake Mardi Gras celebration and caught two strings of beads from the krews. I would have caught another string but just as I reached out, so big young muscular guy elbowed me aside and snagged it for himself. Hmmm. Was he going to end up becoming a Republican senator too? More than likely. Edging out Social Security recipients is already his specialty it seems.