pants: IS THERE NO NOT-GAY WAY TO WASH THESE ZUCCHINI
pants: MAYBE LENGTH-WISE???? NOPE
spigot: PUT THEM ON THE LAWN AND USE THE GARDEN HOSE FROM FAR AWAY
pants: DISHWASHER
pants: SITTING ON THEM UP AND DOWN????? NOPE
spigot: STUFFING THEM IN MY MOUTH WHILE WEARING THE AIDS QUILT LEADING A PRIDE PARADE????? NOPE
spigot: PUT ON A DRESS AND DO A CAM SHOW FOR 100 TOKENS????? NOPE
deuce: ARE YOU EVEN IN POSSESSION OF THE ZUCCHINI ANYMORE
pants: WE ATE IT LIKE CORN