After tonight’s game they may not wait until the weekend. Got to be a lot of frustration in that clubhouse right now. Ozzie & Heath start swinging and the Marlins’ clubhouse might look like a Foxconn dormitory from last weekend.

It was bad timing all around for Showtime. Too far into the season to catch any of the position battles. Too early in the season to get past the warm and snuggley phase. They should have had a crew on stand by. Hey Showtime, sh**’s about to hit the fan. Cameracrew, go go go!

This is definitely more fun than Predator versus Aliens. Maybe even more fun than Destroy All Monsters. And it’s got better special effects than Smackdown. But, I must say, it still has a long way to go to equal the world heavyweight cinema championship match between John Wayne and Victor MacLaghlen at the end of The Quiet Man. Too bad neither of these guys is Irish.

What really interests me tonight is, Scrooge McLoria is sitting in a synagogue somewhere atoning for his sins of the past year and plotting his sins of the next. What can he be thinking knowing this is going on in his clubhouse, that his manager and his bonus baby opener (closer doesn’t seem appropriate to the guy in charge of coming in and busting open the Ark of the Covenant every night) are making him look like a fool. I can see him feeding both of these guys to Moloch on Thursday – if he waits that long.

Heath Bell has an awful lot to say for a guy who has mustered only a few good seasons. Last time I checked, Ozzie was a rather successful player, having a playing career that Bell could only dream of having, and has gone on to be a pretty successful manager. Last time I checked, it was Ozzie who had the World Series Ring; they don’t give them out to last place teams like the ones Bell has languished on. This fat bastard is complaining about how he “worked his butt off” but wasn’t able to regain his closer’s role after doing everything he could the first half of the season to bury the Marlins. How about this, Heath? You are now a multi-millionaire after the Marlins gave you possibly the worst contract in the history of their franchise & that alone should be enough for you to “work your butt off” every single day that you are a member of that team. Closer or not, you have an obligation to Mr. Loria, the man who signs your bloated check; Mr. Hill & Mr. Beinfest, the “co-GMs” who very likely will be losing their jobs in a few weeks primarily due to offering you a ridiculous contract; your teammates, the majority of whom go out there & “work their butts off” for a minúte fraction of what you make; and the fans, who traveled to that spaceship looking stadium to watch you blow lead after lead the first half, spend at least $150 on tickets & concessions, and are a large supplemental asset used to pay your aforementioned bloated contract. Last time I checked, Ozzie stuck with Bell for a significant amount of time longer than he ever should have & repeatedly told him he had faith in him. Want to talk about being honest? Bell was the one who promised Ozzie that he was turning a corner, about to pick things up, only to go out & blow 3 straight saves, 2 of which were 3 run leads, forcing Ozzie to remove him. Bell has no one to blame but himself for being demoted & not getting “his job” back. I am a big Mets fan & I was extremely happy when he left that team because all he did was complain that he wasn’t given a fair shot then once they did give him one, he was extremely underwhelming. That canyon called Petco Park is the only reason why anyone knows Heath Bell’s name. Maybe the Marlins can trade him to the Sugarland Skeeters for Clemens because as far as I’m concerned, Clemens has more credibility than this fat clown.