After my car accident in 2015/12 my brain was unable to comprehend my abusive childhood memories. I was brain injured and afraid for not only my health but the health of my siblings.
I confronted my family about the abuse I encountered growing up in our home. Unfortunately, no one wanted to open that 'box' and I was banished from my home for speaking out to social services about the abusive environment I grew up in. This was the most difficult decision I've ever made and ultimately a decision that ended my relationships with my parents, five siblings, two nephews, two nieces, and grandmother.
For the past year and a half I could not help but feel abandoned and alone. I was deeply depressed that my abusive memories were silenced and mocked by my family members - my heart shattered when I learned their love came with the condition of silence.
Speaking out was the bravest thing I've ever done. I miss my family dearly, but have chosen to grow beyond the fear and the oppression. I want to conquer my abusive memories and the fear that accompanies them. My home was not the place for me to heal as there was no support there without consequence.
I'm angry that my family chose silence over growth and that I can't contact them for answers because they deny my allegations. I am angry that their silence is limiting my personal growth and I am angry that I had to say good bye so that I could heal.
Everyday I take a step closer to acceptance - my steps are shaky but with each beat of my recovering heart an abusive memory begins to collapse.
I am incredibly grateful for the love and support of my partner, the new friends I've made in Ottawa, and the friends who have stood by me since I began my recovery journey. It has been an incredible grief filled time since I lost contact with my family and I am so overcome with gratitude for unconditional support I'm receiving from the people who care about me and my Wellbeing.
@viadoodle