Thursday, May 23, 2013

Calm the Fuck Down or Fuck the Fuck Off

Brit Prime Minister David Cameron is currently calling the machete attack terrorism, demonstrating the threshold for scare tactics has been lowered to the level of bare criminality. I look forward to the next Birmingham pub bottling being described in similarly lurid and hyperbolic terms.

Speaking of bollocks, I was wondering how long it would take for the local spy ring to reply to the continuing accusations of illegality, incompetence and mission creep that has plagued them ever since Kim Dotcom started his day in court. Enter Aaron Lim with this steaming pile of spooks' ectoplasm:

A Boston type attack in New Zealand is unlikely, but not impossible.

Only two bombs have gone off in NZ history. The first was the fatal and unsolved Union Hall blast. The second was the Rainbow Warrior attack, performed by a state-funded team of cheese-eating terror monkeys.

New Zealand lacks the deep racial cleavages of Boston, or the centuries-old feuds of Europe. We don't have the same brand of religious nutters, such as the Tokyo subway sect, and the local neo-nazi outfits lack brains and charisma.

The Cold War is over, and the spooks have to justify their existence in ever more bogus ways. This crazy arc is described by the James Bond franchise, which went from supervillains with Connery to chasing its tail with Craig.

The enemy is us! C'est la guerre. If they aren't kept busy in overseas theatres at prohibitive expense,
the military tend to get restless and start their dramas on the local peasants for exercise.

My advice is to ignore that army mole and listen to Bob Jones instead. He's right on the button when he openly questions the need for a standing army.