Top 10 Most Inappropriate Wedding Songs Ever

10 songs that you really, really shouldn’t have your first dance to.

Craig Mitchelldyer

Just because a song has a romantic melody or has the word ‘love’ in the title, doesn’t mean it’s not on our most inappropriate wedding songs list!

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You know the feeling you get when you’re in the car with your grandmother, you’re listening to the radio and a song comes on with explicit lyrics, either with a swear word or something too sexual for her 89 year old ears?

Your heart drops, your hands rush towards the buttons and you poke at everything praying that it will change station and the embarrassment will end.

Well this is kind of like that. Except worse.

In this situation you’re staring romantically into your new husband’s eyes, swaying on the dance-floor in front of all of your wedding guests to a song that sounds like it’s romantic, but is actually about a break-up, unrequited love or someone jumping off a building

That’s why we have created a DO NOT PLAY LIST comprised of non-wedding songs that you need to steer clear of on your big day.

10. Sinead O’Connor – Nothing Compares 2 U

This is the big one – the one that everyone automatically assumes is about a love so great that nothing compares to it. WRONG. This cover version made famous by Sinead is sang from the point of view of an abandoned lover.

9. Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On

Because no one wants to think of one of history’s most tragic losses of life on your wedding day. Of course this son isn’t ABOUT the sinking of the Titanic. But let’s be honest, as soon as those first few notes kick in, we’re all thinking about Jack’s frozen lifeless body. Grim.

8. Joy Division – Love Will Tear Us Apart

Yes it’s a classic but this 1980s hit is actually about the end of a relationship. Not to mention that one month after the song was released, lead singer Ian Curtis committed suicide.

7. Pearl Jam – Better Man

This Pearl Jam song is about a woman who settles for a man because she doesn’t think she can do any better. Frontman Eddie Vetter has said that the song is about his own stepfather and at concerts has been known to dedicate the tune to: “The bastard that married my mother.” Lovely.

6. Adele – Someone Like You

It’s a beautiful song – we understand that. But just listen to the lyrics – it’s ridiculously depressing. Who on earth wants to dance to a song that’s about finding out that your ex has moved on?

5. Billy Idol – White Wedding

“Hey little sister what have you done? Ok now that’s just plain menacing.

4. Guns and Roses – November Rain

Just because there is a wedding in the video does not make this wong (which is about unrequited love, FYI) appropriate for your own big day.

3. Taylor Swift – Speak Now

This song narrates the thoughts of a woman who is going to crash a wedding of someone she loves and ruin his potential wedding and subsequent marriage. Not the kind of thing you want to think about on your own wedding day, is it?

2. Marvin Gaye – Let’s Get It On

We all know what you have planned for your wedding night, but we’re not sure that your friends and family, and your elderly relatives in particular, really want to think about it in the graphic detail that this song will provoke.

1. The Police – Every Breath You Take

This is not the gentle love song it appears to be. This rather sinister song was written by Sting during the collapse of his marriage and details the creepy, obsessive, borderline stalker thoughts that he had during the divorce.