None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. ~Henry David Thoreau

After a flash of “Ya talkin’ to me?” that clears fairly quickly since I can only be delusional in short spurts, the answer so far comes in some version of: Well, it sure feels weird to say it.

For much of the time, I can go with Erma Bombeck’s take:

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am. ~Erma Bombeck

That gets harder to swallow when birthdays present, and decade-flipping ones make it close to impossible even though most of the time I have no idea what bloody month it might be and how notoriously crap I am with numbers.

All-in-all, I don’t feel different. I’m less-than-chuffed about how I look, but I felt the same at seventeen so nothing odd about that. The list of places I want to go, things I want to do, people I want to see has grown no shorter. I still wonder what I’ll be when I grow up and which paths I may discover will lead me there. I like loud music, raucous laughter, rolling around on the floor with kids, occasionally drinking myself stupid and wild sex when I can get it. I make more decisions with my heart than my head, gamble outrageously with my health and safety and take comfort from hope no matter how often that has proven fruitless. I have all my own teeth, can read without glasses or 5-foot-long arms, don’t color my hair or inject toxins into my face. I avoid doctors, ignore aches and pains and spend a lot of time in the sun.

I’m as intolerant as ever of the cautious old who set life behind them and choose recollection over participation, dependability over experience, sagacity over enthusiasm, no matter how many years they may have chalked up. On the same hand, I’m still far too lenient when it comes to devil-may-care brilliance, too easily dazzled and can highly enjoy hours spent in conversations on topics I’ve not had before from angles new to me. I dream of happy-ever-after.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
~Samuel Ullman

So … 60 years …

Okay … it’s now my mother’s hands sprouting from the end of my arms, I’m slower up a hill, I allow myself a certain rudeness I’d been uncomfortable with when younger (especially with “authority figures”, since many are whippersnappers). My epidermis grows thinner no matter how thick-skinned I become. I don’t pop up as fast after a knockdown. My rose-colored glassed sport a cynical filter. I need more, trust less and spend a lot of time pondering the meaning of it all.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.
~Victor Hugo

Maybe I do do delusional … maybe I’m living it … but, for now anyway, I’m going with the thought that I’m a teenoldager.

Here’s a birthday gift from my beautiful eldest that illustrates some of the steps between past and present …

and had meant to comment on the previous post, A Wrinkle in Time is a long standing family favorite. My Mom often fantasized with us about being able to tesser around to visit all sorts of loved ones and places, then land back at home each night for our own comfy bed.

a fantastic birthday present you have from your eldest. time is truly such a strange thing.

Bravo! Well done. The video touched me so much seeing Jaren, Scott and the house in Sacramento. As well as all the kids and the you I never knew and the you I got to know. Loved watching it. And as someone who is paying less attention to doctors and feeling better not taking the poison they say will keep me alive longer I get it. Love you.

Love those pictures!! Bought back some of the wonderful & turbulent times we had together!! You’re still writing and I’m still traveling and hopefully we’ll never stop doing what we love! Went to Siri Lanka earlier this year and just got back
from Greece with daughters and grand kids- all 9 of us and
had a great time being together!!
love you
Your chinese stepmother.

~smiles and then laughs~ I swear Dear Sands at times reading your posts it truly does make me feel like I am 60 and you are the one 30, if not eve younger. It is funny how most of my life has been spent an stasis and chasing though I have gathered my fair share of pebbles in the bottom of my show to have me stepping cautiously I still rarely do. I do admire your level of participation of life that to be honest seems to far extend mine. In the end we are just as old as we feel (or as young as the ones we feel up, it all depends) I am happy to have stumbled across your blog even though I at this time am a bit unsure of how I fell here, but I am glad I did.

It was a beautiful gift from your oldest and again happy b day Dear Sands, May life let you keep your rosy colored glasses for as long as possible even if they are filtered with some skepticism. Because to view the world without some kind of filter might prove to unbearable

My brother is visiting and I haven’t been on line for a few days. Then saw this and your last post…oh my, Sandra has caught up with me! It’s birthday time again. I watched your video 3 times, and really enjoyed it. funny how a video of your life can lead me down my own memory lane. J did a great job…the only thing that was missing was some zoo (orang) shots. We were at the zoo today, showing my new 7 year old step-niece around. Can you believe that Josie and Euwell (sp?) still remember me and give quite a reaction. Anyway, here is a toast to the fabulous 60’s. My 30’s were so great for me, so this must be double the pleasure. Love the 17 to 60 picture. Jane

Ah, my friend. Happiest of belated birthdays to you. My life would lack a truly appreciated element without you and I can only plead my own encroaching age for my lack of communication recently. (I agree with the “whippersnapper”, BTW, and have adopted said attitude much more frequently, myself :))

Great video!

BTW, it’s not just in the wonderful person your daughter has become, but in the fact that she loves and honors you as much as she obviously does that is the mark of just how well you did your best for your first-born..