I OM

Eli

Hi, I’m Eli and I OM.

Six years ago I had no idea what that meant. At the time I was working in technology, smoking my fair share of pot and masturbating regularly. There isn’t anything intrinsically wrong with any of those things, but they weren’t quite me.

Ever since I was young I have felt a lot. When I was in high school, on dates my body would get electric and pulsing, sometimes overwhelming me to the point of throwing up. People deeply affected me and I knew I affected them. I was a very connectable being in a counter reactionary pattern of self-medication and numbing. The physical symptoms only intensified as my body fought back to be heard.

At a particularly low point in my life, a friend told me about OM. I was incredulous, but I tried it, and something changed. Like sore muscles starting to strengthen, or a sleeping limb reawakening, the fresh blood of connection was at first painful to feel. All the places where I was in hiding filled with it and soon were completely reclaimed.

Transformed, perhaps is a better word for what happened. Those same moments that once brought me suffering, stress, and anxiety are now the places I shine my light the brightest and enjoy the most freedom. Connection and electricity are my playground, not my torture chamber. My sexuality is now a primary aspect of my life that I neither hide nor make a second-class citizen. I feel whole, embodied, and loved in a way that is both mine, and tethered to the world. I’m Eli, and I OM.