your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.

an Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"

your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both

your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"

everyone thinks you're good at math.

you like $1.75 movies

you like $1.50 movies even more.

your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing From Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green.

your parents insist you marry within your race.

you either really, really want to go to NYU or really, really want to stay away from it

your parents have never kissed you

you learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents

"You want a stereo!" When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"

you have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."

you have 12+ aunts and uncles from both your mother's and your father's side

at expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.

your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good."

the vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.

you will most likely be taller than your parents.

your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both.

you get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't

when going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring a gift.

your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.

your family owns a tennis racquet.

your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e. Michael Chang)

the furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.

you have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.

you own a rice cooker or two

you buy corn oil by the gallon.

your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.

your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going

your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come."