Monday, October 10, 2016

Writers Write, Dumbass.

One of my most common prayers is, "Father God Almighty, what do you want from me? Please help me. In Jesus' name, Amen."

I've prayed this same prayer many times and when I've been sat on my ass, yet again by life and circumstances, the answer has usually been: Write.

Lately, that's been the only answer...aside from "Breathe, it'll be alright."

I've been using a pen and notebook since my computer went belly-up several months ago. Then Friday, my super-basic cellphone died.

I was forced into an upgrade.

Sometimes the Universe is awesome like that. More often than not in my case.

For some reason, if I can chill when things appear to be going as wrong as wrong can be; allow the situation to unfold, it resolves itself in a way that surpasses what I'd hoped for as an outcome.

I am not going to lie and say that I don't show my cracks when tested.

Friday when my phone went out, I had more than my normal irons in the fire. Stress over the situation was high and I was completely unable to communicate. At all. With anyone.

Cut. Off.

I was not...at my spiritual best by any stretch of the imagination. Cussing, raising hell in my empty house, and finally throwing the offending dead cellphone into a wall out of sheer frustration was how I behaved.

And yet, within a few hours, I had a working upgraded phone with more memory than a few of the replacement computers I had researched.

***mouth hung agog head hung in regret for my behavior***

These are the little faith tests that force one to grow as well as sit up and take notice when you're being told to do other things.

Things that maybe you've been shrugging off because of the limitations your mind has built up instead of seeing them as the purpose for which the Universe has intended.

Maybe, if you pray and the answer is always the same, you should listen to it and trust that the way will be made if you just do the part asked of you.

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MOM! Shut Up!

I am guided by my relationship with God...and I cuss, smoke, and drink on occasion. I am common sense and crazy. I can tell you what's wrong with American society, but can't get my own housework done. Yin. Yang. I like to think of it as well-rounded balance.