Monday, March 18, 2013

Hello everyone,so today I got so many things that running in my mind, if you be able to see what's inside my brain, it's a total mess, over-capacity, over-limit, yeah I guess that's how I can describe it. I know it's sound TOO MUCH, or too drama, too.. whatever. I always had the thought that someday everything's gonna make sense, OH I really wish I had someone to share everything, I mean someone who I can trust, someone who can perfectly understands my situations and conditions without judging, someone who can encourage me, someone who can move forward with me, someone who stay when everyone leave. It's been a while I didn't talk heart-to-heart here.You know I'm not that kind of person who freely talks and discuss about my private life, I'm not that kind of person who easily express what I really feel. I am stubborn. I am impatient. I am childish, I am vindictive, etc. I'd choose to not to talk about my problems until I reach the limit. I know that's not good, well you know everyone isn't the same, not everyone can accept your statements. I've been trying so hard to be a good person, I try to reduce my anger, I try to understand people's feelings & conditions & situations. I know in life, you have to work more harder to get what you really want, it takes time and patience to achieve what you really deserve. You know nothing worth having comes easy, right?To be honest, deep inside, I feel so tired with all of this crap, I mean the situation, condition, this un-describeable feelings, this anger & jealousy. I never thought that growing up is much harder than final exams. Well I guess I understand why Peterpan didn't want to grow up. hahaha. OH GOD dammit! :(Well last week on Sunday evening, me and my friends is going to Church together, I see that everyone's having their own problems, those soul that seeks for the best solutions for their problems. They seeks for their happiness, hands that willing to hold them when they're broken, those people who seek tranquility, those people who've been hurt mentally & physically. I know that I'm not the only one who had problems right. And that day, they're discussing about "First Love".

First of all,I'm not that religious type of person, I do whatever I like as long as Ididn't doa wrong thing, andlive my lifestraight, Idon'tneed to showto peopleas if Iwasa religious person.Idid theright thing and avoidwhat I thought waswrong. I'm not apersonwho likes tointerfere inother people's business, becauseI don'tlike it whenthere areother peoplewhocasuallymeddlemy own business.Justtake care ofyour own life, why should we take care ofother people's problems.And note this, just because I whine a lot in here, doesn't mean that I'm an attention seeker OKAY? Tell ya, I wrote whatever I want, this is my blog remember? You have no right to complaining. :) I just try to distance myself from you, I know it's fuckin' hard to do, but what else can I do? Tell me, can you? And if you tell me to stay, I'll stay, no matter what, no matter how hurt it is, no matter how hard it is, but if you tell me to leave, I will, I don't want to make your life more complicated, more miserable, more frustrating, etc. I know you've been trying SO hard,I try to understand, I try to accept it even it kills me inside.

BUT,if you really want me to leave you,forget all about us, and want me to move on, promise me you'll have a better life, promise me you'll forget me, promise me you'll be able to find someone who's WORTH having you and never take you for granted, promise me you'll never do stupid things, promise me you'll be a firm kind of person.

And I promise you, I will never ever forget every single thing about you, I will never ever do something stupid, I will always remember you as my sweetest whatever. You know I love you and I thought I would never ever love anyone else as big as my love for you. I know you might not be my first love, but I know you are the one who matter the most, you are the one who makes me don't want to sleep because reality seems more better than my dreams.

I won't chase you, because this time, I wanted to be the one who chased. It's been so hard for me to let you go. OH GOD please just end up this nightmare, tell me that this all just a bad dream. Tell me that we're destined to be together, tell me that I still can hold him in my arms, tell me please! If this all was just a bad dream, wake me up. And if this love only exist in my dreams, please don't wake me up. :'(I remember when I'm going to church last Sunday, the pastor said:"Let God interfere in every problems that you're dealing with, surely he willgive youthebestway outof your problem."I guess this is the end of Heart-to-Heart post, seeyou in the next post later you guys!"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Monday, March 11, 2013

Hello everyone,just wanna share one of my fave song by Alesso called city of dreams, when I heard this song I suddenly remembered someone, yeah you may know who is he anyway..Hey, told ya..I miss you, I miss you SO MUCH :(

Well, enjoy everyone! :)

Everything seems like a city of dreams,
I never know why,But I still miss you.
There she's standing in a field of lights,
I close my eyes,
And I still miss you.
Uohooooo Ohooooo
And I still miss you,
Uohooooo Ohooooo
And I still miss you.
Everything seems like a city of dreams,
I never know why,
But I still miss you.
There she's standing in a field of lights,
I close my eyes,
And I still miss you.
Uohooooo Ohooooo
And I still miss you,
Uohooooo Ohooooo
And I still miss you.

Friday, March 8, 2013

well today is 08.03.2013, it's 8 remember?Yeah, that must be "our" Anniversary date next month if we're still together. It's almost a year passed, which mean time really flies so fast..

Istill remember, the first time I met him (not the first time I know him FYI), it's in March'03, 2012. The first movie. The first time I felt in love at the first sight. The first time I felt in love with his sweet smile. I admit that I never fall in love with someone I'd never met before, but I fell in love with his sweet gently little voice, and well yeah...I still had his first voice note, seriously.

Can I go back to that moment once again please?lol.

I wish.

It may be sad that we ended up like that back then, since he's my very-first boyfriend. haha. Yeah you know, reality's kinda sucks sometimes, and we've got to accept it. As you remember back in 2010's, got my very first hurtful heart-broken on my sweet-seventeen birthday. wtf. And finally move-on. Well you can't always get what you want, right? You just gotta past it, forget it, gotta get going, and moved on. Well that's when I'm just a freshly teenager, I'm 17 that day remember? hahaha.

Now I'm going to 21 this year, which mean I've got a lot of things to do and to think now. I admit that I still can't barely moving on,how can I move-on when I still had feelings for him? (Don't ever think "him" is that guy who broke my heart on my seventeen birthday, I'm totally over it, and don't have any feelings for that guy anymore. Okay?)

In the first place after the broke-up moments, the miscommunication, I thought that I'm totally over him. I thought that I hate him, I thought the best way to forget him is never see him again, and I don't want to know anything about him. But that's not what I really feel. Deep inside, I know that I wanted to see him, I want to spend my birthday last year with him, I still want him. Call me selfish, call me stupid, whatever. You know I missed him SO MUCH and I can't lie to myself that he's still the one..even if I'm not his one. hahaha :')

Can you imagine, you're just in a new relationship, where a new lovebird seems always wanted to see each other everyday, the last voice you wanted to hear before you sleep, spend every special occasion together, have bunch of pictures together, but you couldn't have it? When distance became the problem, less communications, etc. And when you missed them, seems like you can't do anything, you just can cry yourself to sleep, there's always a time when you both need each other but you both separates by distance and sometimes you feel tired, sometimes you feel unwanted, and oh..whatever. *sob*

This was my first heart-to-heart post in current few year, didn't mean to get an attention or what, you know I'm good in words, but sometimes what you really need is someone who's listen and understand without judging, what I really need is someone who understand,not someone who always judge, lecturing, and didn't really listens. Oh that's the hardest part, finding someone who really understand you, I think no one could understand you better more than yourself.

I just wanna say,

no matter what happen, even if it's good or bad, you're still the best part of my year. I learned so much from you, I probably should thank God that He gave me you. And if God grant my wish once again, for once again, I want to be the girl you never take for granted, the girl you never forget, the last girl you love.

Can't lie to myself that I still want you so badly, and can't even imagine how my life could be if someday you're gone from my life. Call me "lebay" or whatever,but you have to remember, no matter what would happen to us in the future, you will always stay in my heart. We may be nothing for now, butwho knows that in another chance or in another life,for once again,I would be your girl.:')

It's French fashion house, was founded in 1952 by couturier Hubert
de Givenchy. Known for his timeless, elegant luxurywear, Givenchy
dressed such iconic women as Jacqueline Kennedy and, most significantly,
Audrey Hepburn, with whom he had a designer/muse relationship for most
of his career. Givenchy styled Hepburn for many of her films and it was
his luxurious take on the Little Black Dress that Heburn wore in
Breakfast at Tiffany's that launched the house into the global luxury
market. Now under the helm of Italian designer, Riccardo Tisci, the
label is known for its modern, understated chic and classic feminine
looks.

The most famous design for this year is Rottweiler print shirt or T-shirt, and the bags too.

It costs US$350 for a tanktop, US$265 for a T-Shirt, US$860 for Medium Rottweiler tote bags.

Check out the designs below, what do you think?

Is it YAY or NAY?

Your choice! And told ya, I just fell in love with this tote bag and just ordered one, got the medium and small pouch as well, can't wait any longer! Well i know it's a little bit scary right, but.. Can't explain why I'm in love with this pattern in the first place ;)

Looks like most of celebrities love this Rottweiler design as much as I love it too! And i can't wait to have the T-shirt soon, well maybe I need to wait for a while until my bag's arrived. I will post it for you guys later.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Hello everyone,it's been so long since the last post right, sorry for my absent during few weeks, kinda stressed out with some more things and problems. yeah you know nobody can escape from problems etc.So yeah I'm finally attended my very first beauty class 2 days ago, and it's so interesting! Thumbs up! I learned how to draw an eyebrows, I mean the right technique, well it's kinda frustrating at first, my instructor name is Ms.Wiwid, idk how to spell her name (sorry if I'm wrong). Some of the students told me that they're all have the same problems with eyebrows, which mean drawing an eyebrows can take a few days to learn, the right angle, the high point, oh whatever.HAHAHA, first I thought that drawing an eyebrows is way too easy butHELL NO, it's so hard to get the same arch and how to blend it. OMG, but thank God I can, hahaha well did it for a few times but I passed on the first day. *sigh*Ah the fun part is when I met my high school friend there, well she's my friends cousin. I'm older than her actually. LOL.Skip the "old" sentence okay!I'm still young lah.. :pThen, she asked me to be her model yesterday (05.03.2013), I'm still in basic class, so now I'm on holiday till 20th March because they're going to had a final exam, they're onBridal class. Ahh my first day on course and get an opportunity to be her model. LOLEnough said, here's some pictures of Me and Her with the FULL makeup onLOLOLOLL!Oh anyway, her name is Ivone. She's doing my makeup and my hair, with the help from Ms.Ve(idk her full name but everyone's called her like that :p)Check it out, go ontake a look :)

tryin' some models poses and it's an epic fail LOL

Beautiful or not? HAHAHA Imma little bit narcissism as always. Well it's already on my natureLOLOLOLOLL! ;) She used 4 layers of fake eyelasheshere OMG, can you imagine how heavy it is, but it looks so damn gorgeous on pic! Please use it if you want to look more dramatic, but I prefer one pair of eyelashes for daily basis or you may look too much (you could say... LEBAY) hahaha:DWell enough for now,I'll see ya guys more soon :)

Ms. Lia Octaviani J ♥

Profile

I was born in Surabaya on October 28, 1992. I'm a Certified Make-up Artist based in SUB, ID. I'm a face-painter & an embroidery-artist. I graduated from High-school and starts studying makeup in March 2013, just started 3 years after graduated from High school in one of Beauty Academy in Surabaya, freshly graduated on February 2014. I have two elder brothers, I'm the last one, and the only one girl. I can be copied but I can NEVER be duplicated. I'm a makeup junkie since 2 years old, since I wore my mom's red lipstick. I blog whatever I like, I think a lot but I don't say much, I love to write, I am more likely to write than saying what's on my mind straight to your face. I HAVE NO RESPECTS TO COPYCAT and I don't have to impress anyone, Haters gonna hate anyway.
OH, welcome to my daily-blog where I put all my thoughts here!!