NADIA
Eskimos, maybe
That birthday package showed up two weeks late, not bad

JASON
Not as bad as last year certainly

NADIA
Oh, the combined Christmas/Birthday/Easter package

JASON
Worst birthday?...14!

NADIA
No, 8! Remember when Dad thought that...

JASON
...that Mom would...

BOTH
Disaster!

JASON
They rented out the zoo

NADIA
And our nanny walked us through

BOTH
And both of our parents were no-shows

JASON
Oh, Nadia, I am so sorry, this day just sneaks up on me every year

NADIA
Kiddo, you know I rely on your mother to remind me of these things

JASON
Remember when he said he'd make it up to me?
Two days later I struck out, we lost the game
And he made me walk home alone from the little league park

NADIA
Here, honey, buy some therapy
Dad's birthday check and...surprise, a note!
(reading note) "Dear Jason:
Please find enclosed this very thick package that came for you yesterday
I talked with Father Flynn, and he told me you were in
But call anyway when you open it...Notre Dame!
But we always knew that you'd keep the McConnell flame burning
Love, Dad"

JASON
What did Dad get you?

NADIA
You mean what did Dad's secretary get me...?
These earrings
I think they're slimming...what do you think?