I Just Googled "Guacamole Secrets"

2. Be Bold with Garlic and Onion [double-duh]... take a cue from Top Chef winner and Mexican-food expert Rick Bayless and add roasted garlic too [this actually sounds worth a try]...

3. Use Fresh Cilantro and Limes [DUH DUH DUH]...

4. Take Smart Shortcuts... Add a couple spoonfuls of your favorite jarred salsa [I sometimes do this just for the hell of it, but in addition to everything else, not as a shortcut]... If you are really in a rush—say with only 5 minutes left until halftime is over—grab a package of premashed avocado, available in the produce department of some markets [does this really exist? YUCK].

azcentral.com says: "Ultimately, it's your palette that dictates the perfect guacamole." If you've got a dictatorial palette, I would like to come over and witness that, but I might not stay if it's the one saying what should go in the guacamole.

One thing that is good in guacamole: a big spoonful of organic sour cream. And when I worked as the cook at the Roanoke, Tom the bartender taught me the right way to cut an avocado, which is as shown in this video, except without the kitchen towel for safety:

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