Stumbling Out of the Closet

The site about coming out

This site is about coming out.

Just nine days before my 40th birthday, I was outed by my wife. Right before that, she had been spending hours and hours organizing a surprise party making sure this birthday would be special. She wanted me and our 16 year old son to wear matching tuxedos. She and our 8 year old daughter would each pick out a dress just for this occasion. But in one gut-wrenching moment, everything was turned upside down. Life for me and life for them would never be the same again. We had the party and everyone else had a great time. No one had a clue what she and I were suffering behind closed doors.

Initially, we kept this to ourselves, but slowly we gained the strength to tell. First she told her best friend, then her mom. A year later we told our kids. After the kids, we told my family.

It’s always been “we”. From day one my wife chose compassion and unconditional love. Amazingly, she’s held my hand every step of the way. I’ve stumbled through this and I still struggle. Still, for all the pain and suffering we’ve experienced, I wouldn’t want it any other way. We aren’t a couple anymore. We’re best friends. It’s good now. Really good.

This site is also about you.

I want to know your story. People need to know what it’s like to come out. And people also need to hear from those who have been on the receiving end of this news. The most powerful way to win over hearts and minds and show the world we are not that different, is for each of us who’ve come out to tell our story and for those who love and support us to share theirs too.

I want this site to be a place where we all create a community of people who support and affirm each other. Whether you are gay like me, or a lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or questioning (yes, it’s perfectly okay not to be sure), we all need to tell the world that being authentic is the only way to live.

We are worth it.

I want this site to be a place where we all create a community of people who support and affirm each other.

The Ups & Downs of Coming Out

Stumbling Out of the Closet is about the ups and downs of coming out. It's about the struggle to embrace who we are and arriving at a place of self-acceptance. I'm not there yet, but I'm trying. It's also about creating a community of people who support each other and believe that being true and authentic is the only way to live.