Dina Lohan is a great mom and probably has the coffee mug half full of Southern Comfort to prove it, which is why her daughter Lindsay's career renaissance as the titular gossip incitor in Lifetime's upcoming television movie Liz & Dick comes as little surprise to her. "There's so many similarities [between Lindsay and Elizabeth Taylor]...the tabloids, they attacked [Liz] as well," Dina told the Access Hollywood crew on Friday, speaking about the attention both her daughter and Liz Taylor garnered from gossip mongers. She added, "[Lindsay]'s really learned a lot, she's grown up a lot."

The mother-daughter tornado of competing egos will settle momentarily for a serene Mother's Day celebration, something that Dina says Lindsay is planning in secret. "Lindsay will plan something," she said, adding a little incongruously, "She's good at that and then she'll dress me." What if, however, Lindsay isn't planning anything? What if she hasn't even remembered that it's Mother's Day and is just waking up somewhere in the Meatpacking District with a nagging sense of forgetfulness? She'll see her mom, talk to her pleasantly, and not even remember that she has to dress poor, forgotten Dina and take her somewhere nice. Then we'll have the beginnings of a sitcom pilot called Lindz & Dinny about a dysfunctional mother-daughter team that does everything together. Even get dressed. [Access Hollywood]

Ever since Courtney Love's Twitter Hyde sabotaged her mother-daughter relationship with Frances Bean Cobain, she's been on the lookout for a surrogate daughter, someone close enough to Frances' age, with the same color hair and the same paternal issues...someone, in short, just like Lindsay Lohan, whom Love invited to join a spiritual chanting group. If all goes well, maybe they'll go splitises on some Häagen Dazs and watch Mean Girls until Lindsay is a movie star again. [NME]

Five o'clock shadow of an actor Ben Affleck released a Mother's Day tribute video featuring moms and children in the Democratic Republic of Congo. He urges viewers to "share this video for the Mothers and Grandmothers in your lives in honor of their sacrifices, selflessness and courage." He also gives a special shout-out to "an incredible, spectacular, world-class mom," his wife, Jennifer Garner. That's really nice and all but what happens to Josh Hartnett in Pearl Harbor is really shitty, so...yeah, screw Ben Affleck. [E!]

Nadya Suleman, whose tragic (albeit self-induced) situation prevents me from ever using her more popular epithet, has said that crispy-skinned Patricia Krentcil — the woman who tucks her children snugly into their twin tanning beds every night— needs Child Services to step in and give her a parenting lesson or eight, which is probably true. I mean, Suleman would know an irresponsible parent when she sees one, wouldn't she? [TMZ]

Chris Hemsworth and Spanish actress Elsa Pataky have given birth to a tiny Norse goddess named Indiana Rose, who will admittedly be one of the lesser deities of Scandinavian mythology, probably the one that deals with snow-plowing. [E!]

Liam Hemsworth, the forgotten Hemsworth who was most likely kept in the attic as a child and fed a steady diet of salted fish heads, co-adopted yet another dog with Miley Cyrus. The dog's name is Mary Jane (for real), and the couple brought her back home yesterday for a nice, welcome-to-the-family bong rip. Is anyone else starting to worry about what happens to all these adopted animals if Miley and Liam break up? Because it's starting to seriously stress me out a little bit, and I know it's silly to stress about people I don't even know, but I keep thinking of all those homeless puppies. [ONTD]

But Bobby Brown wanted Bobbi Kristina to be on his reality show, not that other reality show she's going to be on! I mean, he called Bobbi first, so it's, like, no fair if she isn't on his show. [TMZ]

A former staffer at New York's fancy-pants Peninsula Hotel says that John Travolta was banned in the early 00s for inappropriate behavior in the hotel's spa. The ban was eventually lifted because, well, have you even seen Saturday Night Fever? [NYDN]

Michael Caine received an award for his old ‘hood, the London borough of Southwark, and became super emotional about it because of the circular nature of life. [AFP]

The magnetic pull between Ashley Tisdale and Scott Speer's genitals has reunited the couple. [E!]

Russell Brand has unfollowed Katy Perry on Twitter, yet, strangely, the Earth continues spinning blithely around the Sun as if nothing happened. Just part of the eternal mystery of cosmos, I guess. [E!]

A sex tape featuring pair of sharply arched-eyebrows Tyson Beckford is allegedly making the rounds through the porn kingdom that is Southern California. [TMZ]

Defending her well-documented party days, Tara Reid stripped down to an unbuttoned pair of jorts and told Loaded that getting drunk "isn't a crime." Well, it isn't a crime anymore, but we have Al Capone to thank for that. What's that? Oh, Al says, "You're welcome, Tara. I enjoyed your brief appearance in The Big Lebowski. " [ONTD]

According to punctilious co-workers, Christina Aguilera is "consistently two hours late" to the set of NBC's The Voice because she straight-up doesn't give a fuck about that show or its stupid star-gazing contestants. [ONTD]

Dr. Phil has been compelled to sell yet another of his many Los Angeles-area mansions. How does Dr. Phil have all that money and Christian Slater can't make a movie? The world is completely bonkers. [TMZ]

Bassist for Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame band Booker T. and the MGs Donald "Duck" Dunn died in his sleep in Tokyo. He was 70 years old. [HuffPo]

Stephen Colbert turns 48, which will probably make for an awkward showdown between him and his mother. [HuffPo]