Too Cool For School: Facebook’s Graph Search

To call myself a journalist would be the acme of self-indulgence and pretentiousness. However, I have Graph Search and you don’t, or at least that’s what the folks at Facebook Inc (NASDAQ:FB) are suggesting to a number of people as they wait. I waited all of 40 hours, but that was apparently just pure luck and a measure of good fortune. Nah, must have been my credentials.

If you don’t have it yet, take some comfort in the fact that Facebook Inc (NASDAQ:FB) wishes to keep you in the loop.

“We are still hard at work on building Graph Search, but want to share some of our favorite ways people are using it today,” software engineer Maxime Boucher said in a recent phone interview.

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I jest when I suggest taking comfort, what I meant was…that’s just plain mean. It’s like the kid whose family had more money than yours showing off his toy but not letting others touch it. The one who invariably screamed, “I’m taking my ball back,” after a hard tackle that wouldn’t have happened if he shared more.

Graph Search “will take time for us to build to accommodate all the use cases that we think could be most interesting and most rewarding for people,” said CFO David Ebersman. “The priority right now in Graph Search is trying to make the product useful so that there are queries you’re likely to do and find interesting when you get the results from Facebook Inc (NASDAQ:FB).”

This is a fine example of why CFOs shouldn’t be allowed to speak in interviews. Just nod Mr. Man, for I don’t know what that means. What the hell is a “use case?”

While studying economics, Brendan found himself comfortably falling down the rabbit hole of restaurant work, ultimately opening a consulting business and working as a private wine buyer. On a whim, he moved to China, and in his first week following a triumphant pub quiz victory, he found himself bleeding on the floor based on his arrogance. The same man who put him there offered him a job lecturing for the University of Wales in various sister universities throughout the Middle Kingdom. While primarily lecturing in descriptive and comparative statistics, Brendan simultaneously earned an Msc in Banking and International Finance from the University of Wales-Bangor. He's presently doing something he hates, respecting French people. Well, two, his wife and her mother in the lovely town of Antigua, Guatemala.
To contact Brendan or give him an exclusive, please contact him at [email protected]

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