The current delay is: - 60 minutes

(hover for more info)

You must post a clear and direct question, and only the question, in your title. Any context or clarification should be posted in the text box.
Any answers to the question, including your own, should go in the comments as a reply to your own post. more >>

Any post asking for advice should be generic and not specific to your situation alone. more >>

For me it was always terribly chaotic. Training helped me prepare for some things but 85% of it was totally unpridictable and unorganized. There is a lot more improv than the textbook reactions in hollywood.

One thing that really stands out to me in movies is how fast combat moves, in my experience it was more calculated. We would take our time to manuever and sometimes had a lull of 5-10 minutes of trying to slowly gain ground on the enemy. Even when we had another dismounted squad I never experienced a situation where we would be charging some objective at top speed. Even with adrenaline sprinting in full kit will smoke you really quick

Another thing that stands out is how good soldiers in combat look after a firefight has broken out. I have a picture I took of myself behind cover in my first firefight thinking I would look all high speed....I looked so dicked up. My kevlar (helmet) was off to the side, the padding in my vest was coming out, my eyepro (ballistic glasses) were sideways, and I was sweating like crazy.

Hollywood explosions are way more exagerated than in real life. I have yet to see a 10' fireball erupt out of anything. Real explosions are more dust than anything. Grenades are way overpowered in movies. I have seen a grenade thrown in a mud hut IRL and not to much of the structure was damged, more peppering inside than anything. You see grenades decimating houses in the movies.

Communication in the movies is ridiculous. There is usually like a huddle behind some cover where they map out their battle strategy. I have never done that. A combat conversation in the movies sounds like:

"Ok boys we are going to take objective alpha while bravo team provides cover fire. We will rush and do a dog leg around that group of houses before we sprint toward the enemy's position. On three men 1..2..3...GO GO GO!"

IRL: BOOM! TA TA TA TA! "FUUUUUUCK!.......WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?!?! GET THE FUCK DOWN JOHNSON, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!?!? Did anyone see where the fuck that came from? WHERE THE FUCK IS SMITH I NEED TO CALL THIS SHIT UP!"

"SMITH ISN'T ON COMMO ANYMORE TAYLOR IS"

"FUCK! TAYLOR GET THE FUCK OVER HERE! YOU FUCKING KNEW I NEEDED TO CALL THIS SHIT UP. DUDE YOU HAVE TO STAY NEXT TO ME. SPEAKING OF, WHERE THE FUCK IS DOC!?!? DOOOOC!"

"YEA?"

"WHY THE FUCK ARE ARE YOU SO FAR BACK!?!?"

"I WAS TALKING TO JOHNSON"

TATATATATAT

"FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!"

"OK WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE! SEE THAT RAVINE LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER OVER THERE?"

"THAT THING?"

"NO ASSHOLE THATS A FUCKING GOAT TRAIL. THE RAVINE THING JUST TO THE LEFT OF IT."

"OH YEA! OK!"

"SEND IT BACK AND GIVE ME A TAP WHEN THEY ARE GOOD"

TAP

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK TATATATA FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

This is already a wall so I will spare you the rest but I hope you get the idea. I know it sounds jacked up but we were actually a pretty sucessful Infantry Platoon. This is also a really condensed version, there is a lot more FUCKs and pauses to return fire. Throw a MEDEVAC in the mix and its 10x worse, it turns what was already difficult into a total goat fuck.

EDIT: I made another post that goes into a bit of what its like to be a Combat Medic.

If you wrote ninety pages of that dialogue, I would pay to go see it in a movie, twice. I'm sick of Hollywood bullshit, and what you wrote is the opposite of both.

Edit: forgot to mention that no asshole that's a fucking goat trail made me laugh. I mean, it must be terrifying, but judging from that, there seems like a surreal comic element to it too. Is that totally wrong?

No, your so right, in retrospect anyway. Its incredibly terrifying and dramatic when its happening but when you get back and rest you usually joke around about all the fucked up mistakes you made. When we sit around in the After Action Review we will usually call eachother out for dumb things we did. It helps put a lighthearted bullet next to things we have to fix that could be potentially life threatening. Its all about making new mistakes the next time not old ones.

Hehe - makes sense that there isn't much opportunity to joke around when it's actually happening. Just visualising what you described - it would be impossible to get that into a movie because the makers would be too scared of being accused of making soldiers look 'incompetent' (relative to the Michael Bay version), when it would just be realistic, right down to the dicked up look. But the false impression of all that stylised combat prevents us civilians from understanding just how difficult combat must be - not like experiencing it as if we were there, but even just the basic mechanics and limitations of it. Being able to achieve an objective (or just come through in one piece) with all that chaos makes it all the more impressive. Thanks for shining a light on it man.

I agree. The guys I deployed with and I always talk about how people would react if they saw how war really is. Real war wouldent sell the same way Micheal Bay explosions and action do. To catch all the magic moments you would need an entire movie dedicated to one patroll and firefight to fully give context to all the underlying gold. War can be funny and war is much deeper than bullets and explosions.

I think the reason that soldiers can survive and achieve things in situations like that is because when fighting against a western army the enemy is more scared and less organised, well trained and equipped. As chaotic and scary as it must be for our troops, they are far better off than the people they are fighting.

Edit: forgot to mention that no asshole that's a fucking goat trail made me laugh. I mean, it must be terrifying, but judging from that, there seems like a surreal comic element to it too. Is that totally wrong?

Nope. That's totally right. It's the kind of things that you'll laugh about once you're back on base.

My brother is in the Army and he's done one deployment in Iraq and is about to to on a second to Afghanistan. My dad did Army reserves and my Grandpa did 3 tours in Vietnam. I haven't served, and I don't plan on it, but I know it takes a hell of a lot of balls, and even more brain to do it. You guys see more in one day over there than anybody else does in a lifetime. So for real, from the bottom of my heart, thank YOU.

I already posted on here but I think I may be able to shed some light on what it is like being a Combat Medic in an Infantry Platoon

Imagine yourself as hot as you have ever been walking around in 40-50 lbs worth of gear plus your aid bag. You are tired, hungry, and dehydrated. You are walking in the middle of a staggered column of guys you know really well. Like the group you hang out with every day. You position yourself so you can talk to your best friend out of the group to help pass the time.

You are aware of your surroundings but because you have walked this same trail hundreds of times before your mind begins to wander. You begin daydreaming of home and all the things you are going to do when you get back. You give an occasional glace around your surroundings every now and again and give your buddy a quick "this fucking sucks" look. He looks back and then sits down.

Thats when you hear it. A sharp crackle then a pop. Your body is already moving for cover. Your squad is spread out and it is difficult to hear what yoir Platoon Leader is trying to say. You peek above your cover and see your buddy still in the same place only now he is laying down and screaming. A few guys begin to fire back in the direction of where they think the enemy may be. Hopefully he ran off but at the very least he will keep his head down.

Your friend screams again, louder, more desperate. Your first instinct is to run out and pull him back to safety. You know that is the worst thing you can do. If you run out on the X you will probobly be shot too and now your platoon is down a medic in a medical emergency. You call out to him and ask if he can crawl to safety. He says fuck no. You ask whats wrong with him. He says he was hit twice. You only remember one shot.

His screams have turned into crying. A grown man crying like a terrified child. Your Platoon leader and team leader settle down next to you. They ask you where you want them to bring your buddy. A million things go through your head. Maybe behind that burm. No there is no way you will be able to get him out of there on a litter. Maybe down in that ditch. No, its too exposed. "Cmon Doc". Ok right here, this place is the best that I can see right now.

They immediately execute, you are alone again. A few seconds later the gunfire picks back up and you hear a lot of movement and commotion. Soon after they round the corner and drop your buddy in from of you. He looks bad. He is paper white and he is no longer crying, he is no longer making any noises. You long to hear his cries. The sounds he made that terrified you before now would be the sweetest sounds you had ever heard.

The rest of your squad pulls security in a loose circle around you. Time to go to work. It's showtime and you are the main event. The instant you take a knee above him everything goes dark around you and a giant spotlight illuminates you and your friend. Time slows down, a second an hour a minute an eternity. Everyone is watching their sectors but they are constantly looking back at you.

He said he got hit in the leg and side. As you are exposing him you see lots of blood pooling under his right thigh. You get your shears and cut his pants all the way up and see bright blood oozing out of the bullet hole. Wait, arterial bleeding is supposed to shoot out, this makes no sense. It must be though its so fucking bright. You realize this isn't a book or Hollywood, that blood is bouncing of torn muscle and fat long before it comes out the gunshot wound.

You immediately pull out a tourniquet and go up as high as you possibly can. You begin to tighten it down and your buddy grimaces a little. Yes! Its not much but it is something. You continue to check his other limbs. All good. You expose his chest. You put your face over his and feel a light breath. You are looking down at his chest at the same time and notice that it is rising evenly. Thank god, maybe the shot didn't puncture his lung. You expose his chest completely and see a decent sized bruise on his side but no puncture wound. You search all over his abdomen and back looking for a puncture wound. His plates must have taken the brunt of the second shot.

You take his pulse, its weak. You decide to administer an IV of Hextend to try and replace some of the blood volume he has lost. You get the bag prepped and try to stick his arm. No good. You try again. No good. You can feel everyone's eyes on you, analyzing your failure. Your inadequacies. Your brow begins to sweat profusely now making everything more difficult. Why can't you get a fucking stick!?! You can always get a fucking stick. You have never until this point not successfully given an IV. think think think. His veins must have constricted.

Your Platoon leader picks now to call the MEDEVAC. We have been here an eternity and you wait until I am at a wall for treating my best friend to start asking me shit about this MEDEVAC. You give him the info he needs. Wait I have a F.A.S.T 1 in my bag. You get it out and position it on his sternum. You push down hard and it shoots a needle deep into the marrow. You flush the line and get a drip. Thank god!

Within minutes your buddy begins to come around. Nothing on earth could be better than this moment. No amount of money or fame or luxury could substitute for this feeling in this moment. The bird will be here in 5 minutes. You get another guy to help you package him up. You dress the wounds on his thigh and stabilize it. You finish packaging him for transport when you hear the helicopter coming in. You begin covering him to keep him warm during the flight and to keep rocks from pelting him when it lands. Before you cover his head you lock eyes. You share a long deep conversation in that moment without speaking a word. Then he says really quietly "I'm not going to fucking kiss you faggot" and you put the cover over his ugly face.

The bird takes him away and you gather your stuff up. Your other squad is moving in on the enemy and you are clear to go back to the vehicles. Its a long walk back. You are more tired than ever. Guys keep stealing looks back at you. You are the hero today. You are the spearhead of western medicine. You give this platoon the feeling of invincibility. You are Doc.

EDIT: Sorry about all the typos I wrote this on my phone. I have no excuse for the grammar though, I just suck at it.

EDIT: Wow! A million thank you's to everyone for the support. I can't even describe how good it feels to have connected with so many people. I have never really tried my hand at writing before so its awesome that I could shed a little light on what war is like. Thank you for the gold and giving me a positive outlet to convey my experiences.

This is why Doc’s have carte blanche over MRE’s when a case is opened, first into hot chow, and free beer at the bar… If the Infantry have anything to say.

This is also why They were the only other group to have a bone fide combat and expert badge.

One of our platoon’s Doc’s got yelled at by the brigade surgeon because everyone called him Doc, but he wasn’t a “doctor.” He told the brigade surgeon “I didn’t ask them to call me that, they just do.” Six or seven of his buddies heard this conversation and made a point to pass by and greet him “good afternoon sir, hey Doc Dirty Boots*.” The surgeon was upset that we had more respect to the lowly Spec-4 with no med school than a Major with an MD.
*name changed to protect the innocent

It's a real grab bag with MD's. Sometimes you get one that is really cool and other times you will get one that thinks his degree makes him alpha. I had a PA tell me once that at the point of injury there should be no difference between the greatest surgeon in the world. It sounds wrong but if you think about it he cant carry all his medical equipment with him. He can't do surgery on the X. The only thing he can do is stabilize and get the casualy out of there with what he can fit in an aid bag. Right or wrong that always stuck with me.

What a great compliment. Thank you so much. I have never written anything really significant before. The Army isn't exactly the greatest place to spread your creative wings. Maybe I will pick up a couple writing classes and practice some more.

When it happens it tends to be 4-8 hours in to whatever you're doing that day. You're hot, you're sweaty, you're tired. You're losing concentration. You may not have eaten in some time, you're thirsty because you're trying to conserve as much of your water as possible. The sun is likely to have started to go down, visibility is poor. You are not at all at your best. And then it happens.

It's loud. Ridiculously so. There are so many different sounds happening at once. Rounds going out, rounds coming in. Rockets and grenades and 40mm. On top of that you're trying to communicate what you see with everyone around you. Your boss is trying to coordinate movement and fire. You go into sensory overload. Your body is pumping adrenaline like nobodies business. And through all this you have to focus on your job.

Where is the enemy. What weapons am I dealing with. Does my unit know their location. Am I in cover. Am I in good enough cover. How many rounds do I have left. How many went out in that burst.

And in the back of your head: Is anyone hit. Is my unit jockeying position. Are they moving without me. Did someone just yell my name. Where is that helicopter support. Don't forget to breathe.

It's hectic to say the least. It's thrilling and terrifying all at once. A lot of people deal with it in different ways. For me personally, I have never felt more alive before or since.

It is very difficult to convey this in writing. To answer your second question, I would not say the media does it justice. It couldn't. There is nothing you could watch that would ever give you the feeling you get when you are actively trying to kill people actively trying to kill you. It's surreal.

This is the best response I've read. This is how I remember it best. If I could add from my experience, I think it's also important to note that every time is different. My first reaction to this question was "Which one?"

It is very intense. If you've trained well, trust the people you're with, and you're in shape, it's not so terrible if you know none of your people are getting hurt.

Your sense of time gets skewed. You really shouldn't but you focus too much on things usually.

There's a lot of mess and medical shit afterwards that doesn't get covered very accurately either.

As an ex British army medic, the initial cracks and pops are the most intense moments ever. Your arse is twitching and heart racing. My only tour was attached to infantry in the far south helmand.

We stopped in a clearing around a few compounds and the section commander went to arrange the lads, making a perimeter, walked out into the open and all hell went loose. A burst of 5 rounds cracked into the compound behind. After the burst I heard a few screams for a medic. Nothing can describe the feeling then.

I kinda monkey crawled into the open directly to the man down and tended to him. Gunshot wound to the abdomen, entered right to left. Was in and out of consciousness for the long 15mins waiting for medevac to arrive.

The section commander died in flight back to bastion. I felt like I failed my job and nearly lost it there and then. He was my first casualty of that tour. I was off all patrols for 3 days.

EDIT: Thank you anonymous user, for the Reddit Gold. Nothing special in what I wrote, only my experiences. I wouldn't wish my worst enemies to have to go and do what I did out there. Also for some spelling corrections.

Thank you for everything you do. I mean it. And please don't ever think you failed at your job. No one believes that, not him, and nor should you. You did what you could, you can't make miracles. Please try to find solace in the fact that he was not alone, that he died amongst family. It's not much, but it's something, and it really does mean a lot.

Very true on the after-shit. That's always to worst. You've never felt drained like you do after the adrenaline wears off and you realize you don't remember the last time you took a drink of water.

The first time I got in combat it was after ~8 or so hours of patrolling. The sun was going down and we stopped to fix NVGs and wait out dusk. I was tired, annoyed, my flak vest was rubbing the sunburn on my shoulders raw. I remember leaning up against a low wall and hanging my head for a second. That was when the first rounds came in. We all stood there in shock for a few seconds, kind of like 'really? are we in combat? is this happening?'. And then CRACK-CRACK-CRACK the second burst came in and all hell broke loose.

You get better at it each time, reaction wise. But it drains you all the same. And talk about coma sleep once you get back to a FOB.

The media hasn't covered war very accurately since Vietnam. The US Government learned that lesson and the resulting backlash/movement from doing so. Now if only a media outlet would do the same for this pointless war...

Great description. The hardest part of my entire war experience was coming home, never again to feel that surge of adrenaline & bad assness, and dealing with your old, non-military friends from back on the block who talk incessantly about going to clubs & drinking & hooking up. For me, it's like being in college and hanging out with the kids from junior high-I just can't fit in anymore. That and the fact that I left theatre on life support, in a coma. And having people wanting to know the story, especially the details with gore and death, and then hearing them tell me how they would, if they had been me, have "fucked those guys up". It's nothing like what you see in the news on TV. Not at all.

I agree, trying to fit back in has been rough. I've tried surprisingly hard to just fake my way back to being a civilian, but with the constant 'you've changed, you're not the same as you used to be' I sort of gave up. I went back to the service.

I keep a few close friends that understand me and where I have been after the fighting and death. After nearly 10 years in the Army I have withdrawn to my small farm on 4 acres and don't mess with any one for exactly the reasons you gave.

Consider a career in a big city fire department. Camaraderie, adrenaline & occasional bad assness will be found, along with making your living helping people. I spent 20 years as a Fire Medic, and could not imagine not having had that outlet. Something in what you wrote pinged off of experience. Welcome home. Good luck.

Protip: Whenever people are daft enough to ask me, "What's the worst thing you ever saw?" I say, deadpan, "Jellybeans on a pizza." Then I give a thousand yard stare followed by a like shudder. Happy trails.

Funny. My civilian job (I'm a Reservist now) is working for a big county fire department as a fire medic. Been on 7 yrs, so a baby still. But I can't see myself doing anything else. And jellybeans on a pizza is...tragic...but funny to say! May I use it?

As an NCO for me there was also a constant low level fear and dread that you can't let other people see. Did my guys get enough rest? Did I forget anything on the gear inspection? Did we rehearse enough? What dumb crap is my bottom 5%er going to do? Even if you did everything right your mind would cycle through "what if's?" and "did I's?". When you finally engage then that ton of bricks falls away and it's a relief.

Haha the bottom 5%er. PTE Ballbags. No matter how good your rehearsals are and how many times you've been out, he's going to find a new and interesting way to screw your plan up that will leave you thinking, "How the hell did you pass through combat school?"

Fortunately me and my section IC clicked really well, so I'd like to hope I alleviated most of his concerns when it came to me. As a point man in a mostly dismounted unit I had enough on my own mind anyway. You (and he) had to make sure everyone was squared away enough to survive, I got the luck of having to decide where the 12 guys behind me had to walk. They either hated me or blew up when we patrolled. Thankfully I only got hate.

The loud. I came here to emphasize the loud and you've done a damn good job at describing the situation. I remember the first time my platoon took direct fire from small arms and RPGs. I was so pissed off that someone was trying to kill me that I didn't have time to think. A lot of yelling. The radios were filled with it as well. The engagement only lasted about 45 minutes, but it felt like hours. Changed barrels twice on my 50. After everything was said and done, I felt completely drained. Like I had just ran a marathon after staying up for 3 days straight.

EDIT Also, training and instinct kicked in. There was no time for anything else. I remember it seeming so easy to just roll right into it.

This will probobly get burried. but...
In Iraq, in the cities (I was in Tikrit), every house has a 6' to 8' wall surrounding the yard. The walls start at the edge of the sidewalk. Every street is like an alley, or more to the point a gun range. The enemy gets to choose where and when they engage.
Before I left the Army, I had a new soldier boast about how excited he was to get to go to Iraq and kill the enemy. I responded with an analogy:
Imagine walking through the mall. Now you and nine to twelve of your closest friends/family are looking for one to five people. They may or may not be alone or in groups. The people you are looking for have no distinguishing features that you are aware of (sure there may be clues, but nothing concrete). You and your group must all wear clown outfits. If they find you first or can predict where you are going they get a free shot at killing any or all of you. If you find them first you may or may not be able to prove that they are the people you are looking for. If you do attempt to kill the people you are looking for you must be sure not to kill or injure anyone but the people you are looking for. If you do kill or injure the wrong people, you could be tried in a court of law or worse the court of public opinion. Oh, you live in the mall too.
That is the life my brothers and I lived for a year. Without running water, fresh food (unless you were willing to travel), electricity, first world appliances (read washing machines), privacy, regular contact with the outside world, or beer (mostly).

Some areas are open. Some areas are painfully built up. Ideally you would want to walk a route with the best cover. Ideal never works out, especially in Afghanistan. As a point man the only thing I concerned myself with is walking the path least likely to contain IEDs. If that meant dragging my ass over a 7 foot mud wall and trudging through a kilometer or so of shitty grape vine terrain to avoid an easy hard pack trail, then so be it. No matter how much it sucked, hurt, or left you slightly exposed to small arms fire.

It was different for me. For me, I smiled inside I was excited I loved it. Talking on the radio, giving out your POS, arranging a counter-attack. The running, the movements. The sounds were not as piercing, the explosions not as large. Everything about your movement and thought is exactly like you were trained to do. When it's all said and done, It's ridiculous to think you trained for this your whole service and you did it (sometimes thinking, "was that it?")

Don't feel bad man, it's a question on everyones' mind when you talk to someone who was in combat. Most don't ask out of respect or fear of reaction, which is totally understandable, a lot of people had a lot of different experiences and it's hard to predict how they will react. In the future if you ever ask it again, just do what you do and pre-emptively apologize, and let them know it's cool if they don't want to discuss that.

As for the question itself, in a word, no. Any time I shot at someone it was because they were shooting at me or one of my buddies. We both go into it (the Taliban/insurgents and the Coalition) knowing that we might not come out. We have a job to do, they have an ideal to fight for. Neither of us wants to die. Neither of us want our friends to die. I do not apologize for ensuring the survival of myself and my fellow soldiers. I do not feel remorse for making it out of there alive. I am sorry that two people had to clash in such a way to make those situations inevitable, but that is where my apologies end.

As for the question itself, in a word, no. Any time I shot at someone it was because they were shooting at me or one of my buddies. We both go into it (the Taliban/insurgents and the Coalition) knowing that we might not come out. We have a job to do, they have an ideal to fight for. Neither of us wants to die. Neither of us want our friends to die. I do not apologize for ensuring the survival of myself and my fellow soldiers. I do not feel remorse for making it out of there alive. I am sorry that two people had to clash in such a way to make those situations inevitable, but that is where my apologies end.

Thank you both for your service and your answer. Have you done or thought of doing AMA? A lot of military members have done them but every single one is both unique and interesting, especially if they're as well-written as your answers. Just a suggestion.

I did an AMA a year or so ago with this account, and while most of my answers regarding my person and mental state are definitely out-dated everything regarding the war, my time, and the service are still valid.

This is something I've been meaning to ask for a while. The only person in my family who was ever at war did so during WW2. Back then it was a holy crusade endorsed by God himself against an enemy who treated people like cattle and who wanted to see you personally and your entire way of life be destroyed, it wasn't about a salary or college benefits or anything like that. I know a few people who served in the US army in the last few years, for them it was purely for the financial incentives, nothing to do with ideology or believing in what they were fighting for.

From the way you phrased that I assume it's the same with you. I know you said you killed people in direct self-defense, but is there still any feeling of guilt or remorse over the whole "killing people for money" issue, assuming you're a soldier for the paycheck and not for Lady Liberty and Uncle Sam.

No I don't feel guilt or remorse for that because I don't believe that to be true. When I said we had a job to do I meant my job was to be an infantryman, and to do as my government asked, to serve the (hopefully) will of the people. I wasn't paid to go to Afghanistan and kill people. I was paid to do a job and do it well, and that job happened to require me to go to war. That job required me to have a presence in the hopes that it provides security. Security for other people to do their jobs helping the populace. To build schools and roads and hospitals. To allow farmers to work their fields and grow what they want. Again, I do not apologize for coming out on top in a situation I was asked to be in.

I get the whole 'well you signed up for it so I gave no sympathy' a lot. I didn't sign up for war. I signed up to serve my country however they needed me. They needed me for war. If that's an issue you or others have, then vote against those who choose war. Vote for peace. Vote for alternative means. I will continue to do my job nonetheless, and do it as well as I can. If that means standing between you and an invader on home territory, filling sandbags in a flood to protect as many homes as possible, or travelling to a new land to combat an oppressive enemy, then so be it.

Ok, this is getting interesting so you'll forgive me if I continue asking.

How did you choose to be a soldier? Do you come from a military background? Was it the easiest job to take? Was it the most lucrative? Did you feel that you could do more public good as a soldier than as a doctor or a firefighter or a policeman or a scientist?

I guess the national culture is just different, around here people would only consider the army as a valid career if they had absolutely nothing else going for them, or if the political climate was such that an invasion of some sort was imminent (and even then "can we talk it out" would be the favoured option).

As for how I chose to join: I had a rough time as a teenager. I was awkward and smart, but my parents were going through their second divorce, they both moved out (mom off on her own, dad off with his girlfriend) and it was just me and my brother at home. When he took off and I was left to my own devices at 15 I turned pretty heavily to drugs. Had a good time but burned through much of my life, culminating in getting expelled from highschool. I had to decide then what to do with my life. Clean up my shit, get back in school, find a career, or something... else. At this point I didn't care for any of that so I said fuck it, I'll see what the army has to offer. Was gone two weeks later.

Military background? Not really. My father was a reservist back in his twenties but most of the stories I heard revolved around drinking.

It was not an easy job. I almost quit several times. The culture shock was brutal on me.

Perhaps I could do good for society in any of those fields, but they don't really hold my interest. I think I went looking for a family and I certainly found it in the military. Much as I may hate it sometimes.

I suppose I should mention I'm Canadian, so it's a bit of a different culture than the states. It's not that common for people here to join the service.

My condolences regarding the whole thing, I can't say I understand what you went through since my life experiences are totally different but I can appreciate that many people in your situation would have continued with their drug habit and would have settled into a life of crime, well done with avoiding that.

Good luck is all I can say really, I hope you think twice before you resign yourself to a lifetime of military service, you say that civilian life bores you but it has its own benefits and as you get older they may become more valuable.

From the last time I was in Afghanistan, ROE was if you were being fired upon or if you were in imminent danger, or protecting someone from imminent danger. This is from an Ex-US soldier, so things might have changed from 2009.

I'd like to reply also because I have a different perspective. I am a UAV (Drone) Pilot. When the time came to fire weapons on someone, no one is in inherent danger except for the possible troops on the ground. If there are friendlies being fired upon, I don't even think twice about using munitions on the enemy. I'm there to protect soldiers.

However, there are times when we catch bad guys setting up to do damage while there are no friendlies around. For example, insurgents en-placing IED's or setting up mortar tubes. One again I don't think twice, but the residual effect is different from the previous scenario. This situation weighs heavier on me. I really do not understand why and I'm not going to even try to.

There's something about watching a missile vaporize a guy from the view of a close up camera.

EDIT:: I've spoken with the guys and everyone is one board to do an AMAA. However, we have a problem. The internet we have at work is DOD internet and it won't allow us login to an account. If anyone knows a way to circumvent this, PM me so we can get this AMA to Reddit!

I don't think it's that at all. I think it's the fact that when we are going to fire on someone we are zoomed in all the way. Watching someone get blown to pieces by your hands that close is.............haunting

I read in a book called Apache by Ed Macy that those "Kill TV's" make it no different than a sniper fixing his sights on a target. He claims apache pilots with their TADS system makes them and snipers the only combatants that get a detailed look at the targets their about to kill. I suppose drone pilots can be added to that list as well.

If you haven't already, definitely check out "On Killing" by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman. You might get some answers as to why the two situations feel different, plus it's just all round good information for military members in general.

have you ever done an AMA? I feel like even though your combat experience is different, there's still a large responsibility on your shoulders. it'd be interesting to start looking at combat through what you see, beings how the use of drones are becoming more common.

My grandfather was in active combat on Korea, and it sometimes comes up in conversation amongst our family at gatherings. When asked what battle is like, he always just thinks real hard, gets up, and leaves them room.

From the Korean vets I've talked to, what they went through was a whole different ball game. I was lucky enough to have been able to control almost every combat situation I was in. I was able to have stand off, to return fire, etc.

Korea was different. For your grandfather, it was likely the single most frightening thing imaginable. A terror that sticks with you. That repeats itself. That never stops when you leave country. A terror that continues every night when you try to sleep, when your mind slips back to that dark place and walks you through things you hope you never remember again. Imagine having to deal with that your whole life, unable to run from yourself. Now imagine sitting down with your family for a meal and it comes up again. And the people you love more than anything look you in the eye and ask you to relive that terror. Just one more time. Just so that they understand.

I don't know you and I don't know your grandpa, but perhaps next time you sit down for a meal and the conversation swings that way, perhaps you could cut it short and tell your grandpa that you appreciate and love him, and that you're happy he's there with you. And leave it at that.

It is very difficult to convey this in writing. To answer your second question, I would not say the media does it justice. It couldn't.

Seems like they don't even try. There's hardly a movie out there that takes into account the noise, especially of bullets cracking as they go by. When someone in real life hears that noise, they're not going to charge out in the open nine times out of ten. And of course the confusion is never portrayed. I really wonder if directors of war movies and such even know about such things. You'd think they would consult people who are familiar with it.

I uses to think that way and get mad at war movies. They glorify something that isn't even close to reality. But then I thought about how I would go about making a realistic war movie.

It would be painfully loud, dreadfully confusing. It would be chaotic and seemingly nonsensical. It would be incredibly boring, and the climactic parts would be thoroughly disappointing. It would be haunting, disgusting and terrifying all at once. War would not make a good movie, I think. And I believe directors know that. They're in the business of selling entertainment, and to be honest, true-to-life combat is anything but.

You know that feeling you get in a haunted house, where you're immersed in a hostile atmosphere and afraid of what might jump at you around the next corner? Like that, except you can't reassure yourself it's all pretend

Pretty much what everyone else has said.... Very hard to describe. You try not to, but you get tunnel vision. Also, killing someone isn't glamorous and they don't die in slow motion either. Nothing is worse than killing a kid because he's planting a roadside IED... Such a waste of life.

I suppose that's what they try to do... Shoot at paper targets, then shoot at each other with MILES gear (laser tag)... You're shooting the "target" or blowing up an "objective." Having said that.... You know. You know you are killing people, but those people are actively trying to kill you, so.... If I kill them, they can't kill me or my buddy.

They are trying to get rid of this, at least in my experience. Apparently it doesn't work as well with muscle memory. I've always done training with sim-rounds (plastic weighted bullets). They break the skin, and let you know where you were hit.

Apparently it supposed to give the muscle memory to keep going when you're hit. Or something like that.

It never seems like a fucking moral dilemma if you've never been there. It's more reactionary, and then with a pause to comfort yourself over what you did.

What I had to tell myself was that child, whether our not he realized it, was being used to maim and kill a good number of men and women - even if they weren't soldiers, marines, or sailors - in an indiscriminate manner. I then used that as fuel for the rest of the day while there was basically door-kicking to find the bastards who made him do it instead of doing it themselves...

So you're sitting there on the FOB, chilling with your buddies, maybe even playing some xbox or watching a movie that you shouldn't have access to yet. You stroll down to the DFAC just to find the line is the worst it's been in months. That's ok, we're special and we get to jump to the front, because we have to get back to work. Eat somewhat quickly, then go around to the local merchants to see if our custom seal skin jackets have come in yet. They haven't, but our Yak skin blankets did. Awesome. Back to the xbox/movies. The day is almost over, another 24 hour shift gone uneventful when all of a sudden you hear the radio screaming MEDEVAC! MEDEVAC! MEDEVAC!

The Army says you have 15 minutes to get yourself, your crew and any medical supplies you may need in the aircraft and it off the ground and en route to the wounded. You know that if they're calling for you, you don't have 15 minutes. You rush through a shortened pre-flight, re-verify that you have everything you could possibly need and you're off the ground in 6.

Let me stop here to paint you a picture. Take each of the replies you've seen in this thread. The vivid descriptions so eloquently portrayed by the posters of bullets, mortars, grenades, etc coming in and going out. Plt/Company/BN/BDE commanders going nuts with all the confusion that it can cause. Ok, picture all those comments in your head? Here's where MEDEVAC gets you; you're flying into every one of those situations, without hesitation, knowing that you're about to enter the worst of the worst war has to offer.

You don't get called for a sprained ankle, you get called because an American teenager volunteered to take point on a breach, and this time the door was rigged. You get on scene, the pilots do a flyby so you can assess the situation / find a decent LZ. When you get out, the commander is frantically trying to get people in the right spots, because now there's a MEDEVAC blackhawk sitting on the ground turning blades and the taliban / al queda love nothing more than to get footage of them knocking a helo down, making everyone, including your ride out of that hell hole, that much bigger of a target. You ask what happened, and the CPT tells you that the 19 y/o volunteered to take point because he knew that if he was injured, you'd be coming to get him to take him home.

So you put the teenager and 2-4 more guys that were unlucky that day in the aircraft and head straight for the forward surgical team or closest CSH, but you're not out of the fight yet. It's been 11 years. They know we won't leave any of our wounded there if we can help it, and if it were up to you, you'd take every mission that comes over the radio. They wait, in strategic spots with weapons meant to bring down helicopters. You're in the cabin, doing your best to stop the bleeding, replace the fluid lost while breathing for your fellow patriots who cannot support their own life anymore when you hear someone yell BREAK LEFT. You close your eyes, hold on tight, and count to 5. One.. Two.. Three.. Four.. Five. Guess they missed you.

You make it to wherever the injury situation warrants, hand off the patients and after giving a full report to the trauma surgeon, you clean the blood out of your aircraft and prepare to do it all over again at a moments notice.

I have a few friends in the armed services but only one actually sees combat. I asked him what it's like to kill someone and he said something along the lines of:

"Everyone deals with it differently. For me, I just have to believe without any doubt that I'm killing for a good reason. It's different over here than everyone thinks. There are people, not just numbers. And these people have shit lives and we can do something about it. It's when I start doubting our cause is just and our progress sound that I get overwhelmed."

My dad was in EOD in N. Ireland. He has to remind himself that paying bills and doing shopping IS the normal thing, not looking for bombs and being shot at. It was a long time ago now, but I guess that's how he coped with getting out.

I totally agree, I think mental health is undervalued overall in society. To me it just seems like common sense that anyone who experiences something as traumatic as war should have acesss to what they need to cope.

The experience people have in combat will vary depending on where, when, and what their job is. My first deployment to Afghanistan was very different from the second, even though we went right back to the same place.

First deployment was chaos. We were sent to take a river valley that was originally "controlled" by the Brits. No disrespect to those guys, they had a tough few years in that area. It got so bad for them that they were pretty much forced to stay within their FOB. We were charged with making our way from the FOB to the river which was approximately 2 kilometers away through corn fields, canals, and occasional compounds. Our British friends were very supportive... they were sure we would be turned back at the first treeline 100 meters in. The first day of the push was uneventful. We slowly made out way halfway to our goal before the sun set. We took a compound for the night so we would have some cover.

The next day is when all hell broke loose. It started with mortars. You don't hear the whistle like in the movies, just the boom. The next month consisted of several firefights a day. They usually left us alone at night. you feel drained at the end of the night from having so much adrenaline pumping through your system. You eventually go numb. It got to the point where we would be getting shot at and think nothing of it really. Unless you hear a crack, that meant they were actually close.
The patrols were the worst. The way this enemy fought was not direct. You are walking around, with the constant fear that at any second, you or your buddy can be stepping on an IED. The constant fear that your patrol is walking into trap. These guys know the area, they blend into the population. You don't know if that farmer watching you walk by is friend or foe.

This post is getting longer than I expected it. A lot more I could put in here, but I'm typing this on my phone and it's kind of a pain. In short, war is hell, but unless you have actually been there, you will never get the full experience.

All of my experiences have been in convoy situations. Initially you're confused trying to figure out what the hell is going on. By the time I figured it out I just began executing my battle drills, getting my statuses, and calling my SITREPS. Its all the days on the road after an engagement that are exhausting, waiting for the next hit hoping its not you or your troopers, the phrase "the anticipation is killing me" is fairly apt. All of my current issues are just like that, heightened anticipation, a feeling that at any minute something will happen and it will be bad.

To those who blame us for killing civilians, you have 0 clue what you are talking about. The insurgents (Afghanistan) constantly setup coalition forces to kill civilians, IE fill a van with children, black out the windows and shoot an RPG while standing on it. This happened to me. Do I blame myself for giving my air support the confirmation to engage? Hell no, I feel terrible for those kids but the blame lies with the insurgents, not me, not the pilots, not the coalition. War is terrible, however I have encountered no coalition forces who disregard and under value human life anywhere near the same way the insurgent forces do.

I had a friend just get back from Afghanistan, and he was telling me, the most terrifying, most scary experience he has ever been through, was dealing with a sniper. He said his platoon was walking along and all of a sudden they heard whizzing. Then another whiz. They yell contact! contact! and all hit the dirt with hardly any cover. All they could see for miles was just mountain. And bullets just hitting around them or flying over their heads. He told me he knew that moment in his life how fragile his life was and that at any second he could die.

Just as an afterthought, try not to ask these sorts of questions to vets irl. Yours is tame/fine, but things such as "What's it like to kill", "How many confirmed kills?", and asking about specific events can trigger some intense PTSD.

If a close friend/family member came back and is dealing with rough experiences, support them and ask vague questions if you're that curious. They'll tell you what they're ready to tell, so don't push it or get frustrated if they leave out certain parts. Some might open up eventually (can get intense but is generally a good healing step), some want to leave those memories behind in Afghanistan/Iraq.

Nothing can really do it justice, and like Rulnos said, you can't describe it. It's so far outside the normal life experience that I've never been able to articulate it to anyone. They always just have this searching and uncomprehending expression on their face. In fact, that same facial expression is there even when just trying to describe deployment.

I can't say it's just because I lack a descriptive ability since the one time it was myself and other veterans the other vets were nodding as I was speaking and let me be the spokesperson, or maybe we were all just some inarticulate fucks.

My mom worked on the set of generation kill. Those actors were put through some pretty intense training (I'm sure nothing as bad as actual marine training) in order to create that sense of shared experience and cohesion of a unit. They did night time maneuvers to take over 'enemy bases' and everything.

Personally I loves the series. It felt like finally someone was showing something besides big explosions, hung ho madmen and all those 'glory' speeches you get in most war films. Really made me reevaluate my stance on the military from 'these are bad men who kill people' to 'these are intelligent guys in fucked up situations that I, as a civilian, cannot judge'. Also the amount of bureaucracy made me laugh. Its the same shit in ever job I've been in which I thought was amusing considering I don't have to risk my life all the time.

I can't really explain it. Though I have lately considered discussing death with friends outside of the military. When you come to terms with the fact that you WILL die today, it totally changes your whole perspective on shit.

Also, worse than combat was calling in a MEDEVAC for a local national child. As the helicopter was hovering overhead we got word that the MEDEVAC wasn't cleared, we needed to turn it over to the local authorities. Need to build their trust in their own systems. The look on the face of his father as it went from hope to utter despair will stick with me forever.

Combat? Spent a year over there as an infantryman. And it was a lot of work. We never had "a day off work" if its peaceful at that time, we can get some hours to ourselves. And a goodnights sleep. And actual firefights, those are not fun at the moment, to me it's like it, goddamnit. Gotta fukn run half a mile with all this hit to chase bad guys that are shooting at me. It's pyshically demanding. Two of my best friends died :/ I wouldn't want to go back to Afghanistan ever again

So you're riding down the street in this state of the art armored vehicle that virtually nothing the enemy has can hurt. You and five of your friends and you are going to jump out and get into harm's way and that's that. You've got the drill down, you're excited, you're motivated, some of you have stupid grins - that's who hasn't done this before. Then, tink, spink, tink tink, spaaaang, tink. Huh.. they... they're shooting at us. And your guts get cold and have I checked my weapon enough and how long til the ramp drops and is my gear tight and shit the ramp's down go go go left or right left or right. Eventually the loudness is a just a different kind of quiet. You cold be dead or hurt at any moment so, really, you're just alive right now and a weird kind of animal focus comes on. I don't know. I know guys who had that 'oh fuck oh shit' freak out reaction but for me it ended up more like the beginning of winter when everything is tight and sharp and quiet.

Nothing could ever do it justice. The "kill or be killed" scenario is horrible, actually killing is worse, and seeing your buddies die is the worst. I came into the military to find out what I'm made of, and I found out. Though I experienced the most traumatic stresses of my life and discovered profound sorrow, I have no regrets.

Thanks for all who served for commenting and to OP for making this post.
One of my best guy friends just came back from Afghanistan after two tours (his cunt of a wife cheated on him while he was overseas) and I don't dare ask questions about the war at all.
I sent him tons of care packages and we chatted on Facebook every day when we could. He is one of my biggest heroes.
His unit was hit by an IED(?)and he suffered some pretty serious injuries. He was only able to recover for like 11 days before having to go back out in the field. Got hurt badly but not badly enough to come home. I'm just thankful he made it home safely.
Sorry for the insomnia induced rant...
Thank you to all who served and for those of you who gave us a glimpse as to what you guys go through.

I wrote a poem one time to try to encompass the feeling. I wrote this poem for a creative writing class in college. Only 4 students and my teacher read/saw it, so this is my first time going "public". I don't know what you're supposed to do with that info, just thought I should put it down.

**Act I

The lights go up and the curtain is drawn. The audience claps
on the side of my war-torn Humvee door. Top shouts
orders into the radio and HQ turns into a wasp’s nest. Brass bells fall
in from the roof as my gunner claps back with more resonance.
His Ma Deuce riddles the nearby buildings with holes.
The mammoth motor lets out its mighty roar as I fracture
my foot on the pedal. My gunner matches the engine’s growl
with his guttural screams of motivation. A bomb explodes
to my right, my ears pay the price;

silence echoes.

I grind the vehicle to a harsh halt, and the tires complain.
Black birds flap their mighty wings overhead, and the roof line turns to dust.
The clapping stops, lights dim, and the audience is silent.
Intermission starts, and they wait for act II.**

It did. I've never been in combat but I have had stuff explode in my face, just like that one scene where he's standing up and you hear the ringing in his ears and everything else goes silent. That's fucking it. That's exactly what it sounds and feels like.

And just a bunch of other shit in that movie is pretty realistic. The boredom, the frustration, the illogical nature of the military and war in general. It's a vastly underrated movie.

Since you've gotten to the front, the shelling has been constant. Your time has been characterized by long periods of monotony punctuated by brief moments of incredible terror. You spend all of your time in a dug out shelter, and the most immediate danger to your life is the constant threat of that shelter to collapse and bury you alive.

Suddenly something is different. The shelling has stopped. Now, all you can hear is the shouts of your officer as you and your comrades rush to man the line. Off on the distance you hear whistles and shouts, and then the sound of ten thousand men screaming all at once as they climb over the top, armed with bayonets, to charge your position. They are quickly drowned out by the sound of your own artillery, firing defensively. In a moment, you watch a thousand men die, blown into tiny pieces, and you find yourself silently weeping, but you don't know why. You spot a man tangled in barbed wire and, thanks to your training, instinctively raise your rifle and sight him in. You think for a moment about the glory you were promised as the man struggles and flails helpless in front of you, before an artillery shell annihilates him, granting you a moment's reprieve from joining the slaughter. The Enemy is closer now, and your machine guns open fire. Rank after rank is mowed down, as you marvel in fear at the bravery of men who charge headfirst into certain death. Now there's a man screaming in a language you don't understand right next to you. You look over and see that your position is being overrun. It's too narrow in the trench to use your rifle, so you pull out your shovel. Somehow you've knocked the man down and now you're beating him to death. Others simply get pushed into the mud and drown. You begin to fall back to your second line of defense when the shelling begins again. You're not sure who's shelling who at this point. You take cover in a crater, next to the disentombed corpse of a man who was killed years ago in another battle on this very spot. After a while the shelling stops and you run back to your lines. A wave of relief overtakes you as you see the Enemy in full retreat. The battle is ended, and against all odds you've survived. Then the whistle blows and your met by your few remaining comrades and a great deal of reserves you've never met. You're not sure what's going on, the battles over, isn't it? No, your officer says, orders from the rear to counter attack at once. Now it's your turn.