I first saw it when I was sixteen, and it blew me away. For
those of you who didn’t pretty much watch this on repeat in college (it was
oddly popular at the time), Boondock
Saints is a shoot-em-up fairytale, about a pair of Irish twins (Norman
Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery) who get a calling from God to kill every
gangster and general criminal in Boston.

They are pursued by an unusual FBI agent (Willem Defoe, in
arguably his best role ever), who can’t decide if he agrees with them or not.
Oh, and they have a friend named Rocco, who is literally there because he was
the director’s best friend and is an okay addition to the story but the worst
ever addition to the already terrible sequel.

Oh, and Billy Connolly plays a fellow hitman, aka their
(SPOILER ALERT FOR A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD MOVIE) father.

It’s weird, it’s profane, it’s violent, and I love it. Oh,
and it has violence against cats (accidental). Probably shouldn’t watch it if
you’re at all sensitive to, well, anything.

I don’t plan on just talking about how much I like this
movie, however. Because while I do like it (a lot), I also have a deep and
meaningful problem with the film. Namely, that it’s wrong. About everything.

The crux of the movie is that Murphy and Connor, good Irish
boys who call their mother and work in a meat-packing plant, get arrested on
St. Patrick’s Day for beating up some Russian mobsters. Those mobsters came to
them for payback, and the boys killed them (in very creative ways that included
a toilet and a high rooftop). They spend a night in jail and are released on
self-defense, but before they go, they get a mission from God.

It says, and I
quote, “And Shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath
descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy
commands. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall
it ever be. In nomeni Patri et Fili, Spiritus Sancti.” (I did that from memory.
I’m not proud of it.)

Anyway, after this, they find out that they can take out
some Russian mobsters, and the whole story goes from there. That’s the
important thing, though. They believe that God told them to do this, and that
by doing it, they are doing it in his name. And that is so incredibly wrong.

I don’t mean to turn this into a big political or religious
debate, but it’s pretty clear-cut in the New Testament that God isn’t really
into the vengeance business anymore. When Peter tries to defend his God from
arrest and death, said God (Jesus), tells him to put away his sword. Because
the thing we’re supposed to understand now is that no one soul is more
important than another.

Okay, that’s a little deep, so I’m going to unpack it. (And
then I’ll explain what the heck it has to do with this movie, don’t worry!).

In the Old Testament, God was all about the smiting. That’s
pretty clear. He had laws, and those who did not follow the laws were fair
game.

However, in the New Testament, it’s a totally different story. The laws
are abolished, and the only laws left are simple. Love the Lord your God with
all your heart, mind and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself.

Okay, in this context, “neighbor” means “everyone.”

Christianity is a proselytizing religion. By that I mean
that it is a religion founded on the importance of converting other people to
itself. We’re told on and on throughout the NT that the whole point of this is
to bring everyone and their sister closer to God, so that they may stand in
full communion with him. Which is nice, right?

Well, the part where it gets uncomfortable for most of us is
when the Bible makes it excruciatingly clear that we don’t get to pick whom we
tell the good news to. At all. Ever. That’s literally the whole point of the
story of Jonah. It doesn’t matter if the people in question are baby-eating
Nickelback fans, we are to share it with them.

Which means something very radical: we don’t get to
prioritize one life over another.

If you truly believe the gospel (which it’s debatable that
the boys in Boondock Saints do, but
bear with me), then you have no Biblical foundation for condemning the wicked
to protect the innocent. In fact, you have a duty and obligation to pursue the
hearts of the wicked.

And, furthermore, killing them before they have a chance to
repent is literally the worst thing you can do to them.

Do you see the problem now?

Yes, Jesus did ask his followers to “flow a river forth to
Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.” But I am absolutely positive
that he did not intend there to be murder.

I understand that Boondock
Saints isn’t a high-minded religious movie, or a documentary. It’s a piece
of silly masculine fantasy, and it’s very enjoyable. I get that I might be
“over-reacting”. But, I don’t think I am.

This is something very important to me. It’s my faith, and
it’s my Bible that they’re bastardizing. Really, what they’re doing is worse.
They are deliberately misinterpreting the Gospels and misleading their
audience. Killing evil people is the easy answer. Loving them is the right one.

So while I can watch Boondock
Saints and enjoy it, I just want you to know that there is no scriptural
basis for that crap. None. At all. And the idea that there might be is
genuinely offensive.