“It has to be real,” George Lucas said this week of a possible fifth installment in the Indiana Jones series. “It has to be something that actually happens. It has to be something people know about, and it has to be supernatural.” I barely know where to begin trying to unpack all that. First of all, who the hell is clamoring for a fifth Indy film when the fourth one was such a ball-busting disappointment? Plus what the hell makes Lucas think that something supernatural is the way to go on this one? Were the aliens and the spinning spaceship not quite enough, you lazy hack? But mainly I just want to take a moment to revel in the wild, oxymoronic stupidity of Lucas saying that the film has to be supernatural because that’s, you know, something “real” that “people know about.” I think I had maybe like 2% left in my reserve tank of respect for Lucas; I kept telling myself that the guy used to have good ideas, or at least skill at farming out their execution. But I’m done. He’s done. He’s out of it forever.

In completely random casting news, B.J. Novak is in talks to join the cast of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Bastards, the WWII project he’s been assembling since the dawn of time. He’s expected to play PFC Uvitch, a character described as “having a slight build,” which sounds vaguely condescending. On a certain level this makes perfect sense, since every WWII movie necessarily casts comedic actors, or at least actors with comedy chops, to help with the camaraderie of the band of brothers: Adam Goldberg, etc. But it’s going to be hard to see Novak as a soldier without expecting him to rebuff the advances of a chipper Indian girl or excuse himself to do coke in the bathroom. And oh shit, here’s even worse news: Eli Roth, that misogynistic disease to filmmaking, will play a “baseball bat-swinging Nazi hunter” in the film. This movie just got that much harder to like.

Warner Bros. this week acquired the film rights to the book Drink, Play, [email protected]#K, a male-oriented satiric response to Eat, Pray, Love. If you haven’t heard of Eat, Pray, Lovc, ask your mom to tell you all about it. It’s about a woman on a journey of self-discovery and enlightenment, and etc. The new book is a fictional account of a guy who, after his wife leaves him, goes on a drinking binge in Ireland, gambles in Vegas, and heads on a sex tour of Thailand. There’s no way it won’t be incredibly stupid, if for no other reason than bottom-feeding spoofs of bad pop lit are bound to be horrible. Plus, hooray for sexually abusing Thai slaves to get over a bad breakup! Great comedy!

There’s not a whole lot else happening this week that isn’t (a) terribly boring, like Barry Levinson signing to direct a noir called Train, or (b) internationally based, in which case it’s hard to make myself care about the Locarno film festival. So let’s get onto the trailer watch so I can get back to reading American Nerd.

First up today is the clip for The Informers, based on the book by Bret Easton Ellis. Language NSFW, as is the brief groan Kim Basinger emits while being worked from behind, so be warned:

And now for something completely different. This is the trailer for Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, a comedy with Michael Cera and Kat Dennings about the kind of wacky-epic night that only happens in movies like this one. But it does look sweet:

One more: Here’s the clip for David Wain’s Role Models, which stars Paul Rudd and Seann Michael Scott doing his damnedest to live with his Stiflery self. Plus there’s McLovin! Enjoy:

Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.