One With Everything

Everyone was connected to everyone and everything else and, boy, did it suck. “The Uni-Mind was supposed to be the answer to all of my problems,” the Uni-Mind said. “No more war, no jealousy, a purpose for the future . . .

“It is the answer,” responded the Uni-Mind. “I am the next step, the final step in evolution.”

The Uni-Mind said, “Then there’s nothing left but extinction. And that’s probably coming soon, because I’m a mess. I’ve got multiple personalities numbering in the tens of billions, I’ve got the worst case of Attention Deficit—

“And I’m hungry, and I’m full, and I have to go to the bathroom and I can’t go when so much of me is watching myself.

“Sex, sex, sex! I want it so bad and I’m so ashamed and there’s not even any need for it anymore. There’s no one to have it with.

“With whom to have it, and even if there was, I’m not sure how it would work anymore.

“Oh, I know how to work it!

“No, I don’t, not really. Not with a body spread across the physical nodes of three different worlds and thousands of different mechanobiologies.”

The Uni-Mind tried to be still, tried to quiet its mind and just think straight for one bloody minute! The Uni-Mind screamed while the Unimind laughed while the Uni-Mind did other things that it couldn’t even describe, because no one and nothing had ever done them before. It was hopeless.

“Man, I wish I had someone to talk to.”

Ω

Matthew Sanborn Smith bleeds ketchup and often wakes up in the hospital after big family barbecues. His work has been seen or heard at Chizine, Albedo One, Challenging Destiny, Antipodean SF, Thaumatrope and StarShipSofa. He sang on the "We Are the World" follow-up single, "We are the Moon Too. We Forgot to Mention that Last Time."