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Recovering after the Break

First of all thank you to all of you that have emailed me your stories and shared your story of recovering from heart break.

This blogger is emotional overwhelmed with the stories that were shared. My heart truly weeps for the pain you went through. Some of these stories involve children and having put myself in that spot within my past I understand. So after thinking about it here are some tips.

Tip 1: Realize that in waking up alone, you’re waking up to a better tomorrow. This person may not have valued your worth enough to make things work, or maybe you and your ex just didn’t fit well together. At either case, your future is going to fare better because now you’ll have the opportunity to find someone who’s a better fit for you. My friend then told me how much she misses her ex- boyfriend. She says he won’t speak to her because he’s “had enough.” This only hurts her more, as you can imagine.

Tip 2: Good relationships are those that embody excellent communication. If your significant other wishes to end things, then so be it. If he or she wasn’t willing to communicate and work on the problem, then accept your loss. This person wants space, let them have it. It’s possible that space is all this person needs and he or she may reach out to you after they’ve processed their thoughts. Then it will be up to you to figure out whether the relationship is worth another try.

Tip 3: It’s also important to recognize that it’s normal to miss someone you were attached to. You got used to each other, you became fond of one another, you enjoyed the company, so of course there will be a missing gap in your life.Tip 4: In looking back fondly at what you two had together that was good, also keep in mind that this only means you were a fantastic girlfriend or boyfriend. You two worked well together for as long as you did partly because of some of the contributions you made to the relationship. Don’t ever lose sight of the fact that you brought a lot to the table and always give yourself some credit in being a good girlfriend or boyfriend.

Tip 5: Don’t focus on his good qualities. Understand that, yes, he or she too made some contributions to the relationship and there were things about him or her that you adored. But discover that the negative aspects of the relationship that eventually led to your downfall outweighed all the not-so-bad things he or she did. The breakup happened for a reason so be aware of that and don’t make excuses. It’s best to not be ignorant, stay true to your feelings, and understand what really happened. After telling my friend all of these key points, she asked me, “How did you get through this?” I proceeded to recall the other measures I took in order to heal (besides those mentioned above)…

Tip 6: The most important thing I can advise someone who is going through a breakup to do is keep yourself busy. I went away on vacation. Doing so really put things in perspective. I realized that while my current condition (as in, being sad over a failed relationship) felt devastating at the time, I knew it was only temporary and there are greater experiences on the horizon. You must become more secure with yourself, cultivate a self confidence that had diminished as a result of the breakup, and become more self-sufficient than ever. Learning to stand on your own is a beautiful thing.

Tip 7: Until you fully gain that confidence back, please don’t beat yourself up over your breakup. So many people just want to “get over it” as soon as possible, and it just doesn’t work that way. You have to go through the motions and let time heal all wounds. Don’t give your heart a deadline — take as long as you need to heal. Waking up the day after will be hard — yes — but the next day won’t be as tough, and the day after that will be even easier. And before you know it, you’ll wake up without even thinking twice about … wait, what’s his/her name again?

So get back up lick your wounds. Try not to lose yourself. Speaking from experience it is possible for you to lose whom you are. I have spent the last few years trying to get back to whom I was. If it comes to a break up then there is a reason perhaps you do not see why at the time. Strive to be better then what you were and find that person that completes you.

As always that you for reading.

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So as you might have read a few post back that my goal is to make dolphnotes a permanent site in addition to I would like to launch an internet radio station and include a dolphnotes audio show. So with that said it is hard to obtain sponsors for that so it will be all on my own dime until I have been establish for 6 months to a year. So below is a bunch of websites I run that the proceeds go to the above mentioned project. Please shop and share the links. Thanks Dolph

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