Sunday, January 24, 2010

Aranea too

If you squint a little over on the left, you might see Aranea too, our pet spider. As her name suggests, we think that she is not the spider she used to be.

Once upon a time, a garden orbweb set up shop in our window. We think she laid some eggs over there at the top right. But alas, like Charlotte, one morning after the egg laying she lay still, suspended by a thread in her holed web, seemingly (and bizarrely) in some kind of a death-embrace with an unknown insect. We didn't have time to investigate there and then, and by the time we did, she was gone.

However, very soon after the web was going strong again and there was Aranea too in its centre. And a new egg sac appeared over there on the left. Theory and counter-theory was put forward as to whether or not this was Aranea, or Aranea the second (aka Aranea too. Or 2. Or even two),

Young literacy

Ewan pulls himself to his knees now (all the better for exploring!), and can even pull himself up to standing. He still prefers the commando crawl, but does more and more knee rocking and has taken a crawling "step" or two. Tonight for the first time I came into the lounge to find him sitting in the middle of the floor (done all by himself, no propping or anything).

Of course, kneeling is a most effective way of emptying the bookshelves. (Check out the volume he has chosen!).

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Project

Here's one of those projects that children get up to on their holidays.

First, the big two hauled out some bits of wood and some tools and did some hammering and sawing. (I was quite pleased to see that they had a reasonable skill level with these - those days at the Playcentre carpentry table were not in vain!).

Isabelle made a bridge to jump over (on her bike, although that's Aidan in the photo!). Aidan made a "sculpture thing".

A bit later, more woodwork was completed, and out came the paints (being unused test pots from adult projects past). Orla got in on the act too.

The results have been displayed in the back yard for a while now, serving play in various roles (and as a trip hazard at the washing line!).

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Daycare defence

Flipping through some junkmail I found an ad for Daycare Defence. For only $34.99 a month, you too can give your child a daily dose (individually packaged in sachets for convenience) of probiotics to protect them from the host of germs that other people's children have.

A sensible precaution? A sop to middle-class guilt?

Interesting marketing angle regardless.

I'm reminded of a seminar thing I attended a couple of years back where lots of daycare for babies was labelled a public health issue.

Monday, January 11, 2010

What I've been reading: Toxic Childhood by Sue Palmer

Toxic childhood: How the modern world is damaging our children and what we can do about it had a slightly unexpected effect on me. Rather than making me depressed, or even analytical, I found myself giggling through some sections. Which is not a criticism, just a reflection of where I am in the genre. I think I've read enough parenting books now so that things are starting to repeat themselves a bit and my attention wanders somewhat. When I'd read that Sue Palmer was

a former primary headteacher in the Scottish Borders

I formed an unfortunate stereotype in my head and I kept imagining a rather prim figure bemoaning the state of society and the feral underclass and the downfall of western civilisation. After all, a 2005 survey found that three quarters of pre-teens do not put their knives and forks together at the end of a meal (pg 33). Good heavens!

She also writes things that I seriously doubt would get published in New Zealand. Such as:

Thus 'the getting of literacy' creates enriched neural networks in children's brains, which may well be significant in the development of civilised behaviour. I don't think it's any coincidence that written language has proved a key element in all successful civilisations and that universal literacy appears essential to the success of democratic systems. (pg 201)

In a couple of chapters, she really seemed to have a bee in her bonnet despite entreaties from others (that she refers to in the text) to tone things down. Actually I think I enjoyed those chapters the most - nothing like a bit of passion and colour to make a book come alive!

Anyway. I think what Sue has to say is essentially correct, and if you distill the essence of her work, she makes a number of very sound and sensible recommendations about parenting. If you came out of it with nothing more than her authoritative mantra of "warm but firm, warm but firm" you would take away something of value. But here's some criticisms, questions and comments.

- This is a book written by a former teacher, who seems to make her living lecturing teachers. You could read it easily using homeschooling lens and frequently say "Aha! AHA! So why keep them in school at all then?!" Some of her comments are a bit...disempowering of parents shall we say. Such as:

Teachers learn about childish wiles through wide experience, but most parents' experience of children is limited. (pg 292)

I think I know what she's getting at, but I would have put it...differently. Perhaps it is only natural that an educationalist would not see the education system as part of the problem, or would argue that most of the problems lie primarily in the hands of parents to resolve. (Don't be fooled by this criticism though - there's lots in the book that is critical of educational systems that research shows do not work. And what doesn't work is early and competitive academics. I quite liked her idea of separating positive and real competition (such as that on the sports field) with that which is far too important not for everyone to be a winner (development of literacy, numeracy and a love of learning). - An attachment parent Sue is not. Lots here about "proper" routines and this gem of a quote:

One important truth is that children - even very small children - are naturally manipulative. They have to be to ensure their survival - as the smallest and weakest of humans, they have to rely on psychology to make sure their needs are noticed. So they learn very early how to reward adults with smiles and punish them with screams, and as time goes on many become extremely adept at getting their own way.

(pg 292). Golly. My baby is performing behaviourist psychology on me to get his own way! I find this a really odd way of looking at the world - it assumes that children are extremely empathic and aware of the world around them very early on, rather than simply being highly focused on their own needs (because that's all they are aware of at first) and expressing their needs the only way they know how. In order to do all this "rewarding" and "punishing" they would have to have quite a good ability to take the perspective of another - an advanced skill indeed and ironically enough, perhaps the key to detoxing a childhood. - I seriously doubt whether the golden age of childhood and parenting that keeps hovering just out of view ever really existed. I wonder what Sue would make of Parenting for a Peaceful World? Was there ever really an "adult alliance" out there, protecting the community's kids in exchange for good manners and respect? - It's probably all too easy to mock her concern for the development of a feral underclass, but I quite liked the "Mind the Gap" sections. Because there are haves and have-nots in society. And there's only one lot who is going to be reading this book. - If I had read the words "electric speed" one more time, I would have screamed.

Changes

Already Ewan has changed since my last update post. His crawl style is more about alternate use of each shoulder and side as he pulls himself forward. He's started rocking on his knees, and has taken a classical crawling "step". (He's particularly pleased with this rocking-on-knees thing. In fact, the other night he woke me up at some early hour rocking backwards and forwards, chortling loudly as if to say "Hey Mum! Wake up! Look at me!". I'm sure he was underwhelmed at my response, which was basically a suppressed groan and a return to the mattress).

Orla is now three. We had a little party for her on Sunday down at Playcentre. She spent most of the time eating, with a bit of playing and present opening on the side. She was delighted with her stash.

Isabelle and Aidan have begun their own party plans in earnest. (For the record, they are August and September babies).

Friday, January 08, 2010

Dots

We enjoyed the Kusama exhibition. It was simultaneously perfect, and difficult, for children. The look of utter joy and amazement as they entered the dotty rooms....followed by the exhortations NOT to touch ANYTHING or move their bodies quickly.... And everything looked so much like it NEEDED to be poked, prodded, or jumped onto.

Isabelle whispered to me when we were about half way around "I think she [Kusama] likes dots".

Yep!

Everyone's favourite installation was the fireflies on the water - mirrored reflections of fairy lights from all sides - worth the short queue to see.

We bought Aunty Loulou's birthday present on the way out (yes you are allowed to ask "umm, what is this?" when you get it, L. ! ).

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Thank you Helen!

Today was the day we took down the decorations and hauled the tree outside. I took the chance to grab a photo (front and back views) of this lovely gift from Helen, beautifully crafted for Ewan's first Christmas. Thanks Helen!

Ewan update

Time for a baby update!

Mr Cute is growing steadily. He gets around using the seal crawl - pushing with his feet and hauling himself forwards with his arms. He's got quite speedy and seems to really enjoy his new freedom. When he finds something really interesting on the floor, he rolls onto his back to examine it closely.

His main interests are cats and doors. When spotting a cat, he makes a low guttural growl of pleasure, and tries to move his body towards said cat. This requires careful supervision. Door handles are a great source of interest when he's at their height. When on the floor, he enjoys swinging doors to and fro. This has obvious safety implications. He has shut himself off from me a couple of times and cried from behind the door. I've had to try to inch it open to retrieve him without hitting him with the door as I do so!

He is enjoying a range of solids, particularly paper. He has even ripped a piece of wallpaper off to sample. No book is safe - even board books get gnawed. He feels it is extremely unreasonable that paper is prohibited from his diet.

He has four teeth, and more threatening to come through. He likes playing peek-a-boo, and is desperate to play like the big kids.

He says Daddad and Mumumumum. Daddad means Daddy, but also Mummy or Isabelle. Mumumumum is reserved for when an urgent milk drink is required.

He has a special smile with a crinkled nose, reserved for when he is really, really happy.