Folks, if you’re standing you’d better sit, and if you’re bareheaded, you better put on a hat so you can hold the F onto it: it turns out British tabloids aren’t reliable sources of information. (*covers umbrella with lighter fluid and sets it on fire*) Even though The Sun reported a few days ago that UFC funny guy and avid dry humper Rampage Jackson was confirmed to play B.A. Baracus in the A-Team movie, it turns out that’s no more true than their report about Eddie Murphy playing the Riddler in the next Batman. From MTV via Fightlinker (great site, btw):

MTV has confirmed that UFC champ Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has not been cast as B.A. Baracus in the coming big screen adaptation of “The A-Team.”

What I CAN tell you is that I reached out to Jackson’s publicist who checked with the fighter’s manager, as Jackson himself is currently on hiatus. The response? “His manager said it wasn’t true.” Move along people. There’s absolutely nothing to see here.

Well that’s a shame. Rampage as Baracus was by far the most interesting thing I’ve heard about this project so far. I know most of us were young and impressionable when it came out, but let’s face it, The A-Team was a pretty dopey show. You wanna make a movie about people who drive around in vans that I’ll watch? Call up Story and Trailer Trish. Can’t you just picture Gary Busey as the town Sheriff sidling up to the driver’s side window, “We don’t think kindly to… vanners in these parts.” And then Trish’d be all, “Leave me alone! You’re just jealous because I drive a Wizard of Oz truck!” It could be like Easy Rider for the vanner community. Of course, they’d have to show it at the drive in.

Join The Discussion

What if someone had scenes from A-Team on their van that had the A-Team van in it, but it had scenes painted from A-Team with the A-Team van in it, but IT had scenes painted from the A-Team with the A-Team van in it, but IT had scenes painted from the A-Team with the A-Team van in it, but IT had scenes painted from the A-Team with the A-Team van in it, but IT had scenes painted from the A-Team with the A-Team van in it, but IT…

DOR SHO GHA! HE WAS MOLESTED BY A FUCKING TERRORIST!!!

08.27.09 at 3:53 pm

Fek'lhr

Hey, Story was right about one thing, rape IS funny when it happens to someone you know! Hell, I haven’t been able to stop laughing since I was molested by that fucking terrorist!

08.27.09 at 3:54 pm

Donkey Hodey

Oh no, where else are they going to find a large, grimacing black man with an affinity for jewelry and a disrespect for law enforcement? NFL players are busy this time of year.

08.27.09 at 3:59 pm

Shop 101

But I’ve already imagined it. Suck on that, MTV.

08.27.09 at 3:59 pm

Vodka

Michael Crabtree is still available, Donk.

08.27.09 at 4:01 pm

Donkey Hodey

[serious]

Michael Jai White

[/serious]

Seth Rogen in blackface.

08.27.09 at 4:02 pm

Vince Mancini

Michael Crabtree’s name shall not be spoken on this blog– aw crap.

08.27.09 at 4:04 pm

Donkey Hodey

Jesus, Vodka. How did you know I’m a Niner’s fan?

Besides, no way he accepts a low enough salary for that. Guarantee he sits out after finding out how much Face is making and demanding twice that.

08.27.09 at 4:06 pm

Fek'lhr

DNA-Niners fan?

08.27.09 at 4:06 pm

Oski

Bradley Cooper was on Conan last night and said he and Liam were definitely in it and that BA Babadass had been cast, but he couldn’t say who. Maybe he just gets his career updates via British Tabloids instead of his agent and manager.

08.27.09 at 4:09 pm

Fek'lhr

Quick story-my aunt is a former nun and principal of a Catholic school in Gilroy (near the Bay area). Anyway, she is huge into the Niners and Giants and has met like the GODS of those teams (anyone ever hear of Jerry Rice) just pretty much for being a nun.

Maybe there is something to this church thing after all!

*unloads next batch of children and elderly from armoured car for sacrifice to Dahok*

08.27.09 at 4:16 pm

argentino

In Argentina Mr T was called Mario Baracus, wish is way vanner than B.A.

08.27.09 at 4:26 pm

Shop 101

Oh, and for the record, terrorist ass play superior to Joe Carnahan’s A Team. May we never speak of this again.

08.27.09 at 5:51 pm

Erswi

Just goes to show it doesn’t pay to do real work. Not only do I miss out on all the new moview news, I miss out on all the new movie news turning out to be non movie news.

I feel violated.

08.27.09 at 11:09 pm

JabberWockaWockaWocka

Rampage was 1 of 3 who tested for the role. as far as i know, they haven’t settled on anyone yet.