Virgin Trains launches Inflatable Buddies service

Virgin Trains has launched a new service for commuters on the West Coast line.

‘Inflatable Buddies’ has been developed in response to passenger’s requests for ‘someone nice to sit next to’ on long train journeys. Passengers can purchase a special life sized blow-up-doll to place on the seat next to them thus preventing fat, smelly or obnoxious travellers intruding on their personal space.

Charles Kinlake, a spokesman for Virgin said, “Inflatable Buddies are available from main line stations and pack neatly into a hand bag or briefcase.They come in both male and female versions depending on passenger tastes and orientations and are available at just half the cost of a standard fare.”

The Buddies proved to be a huge hit in test runs along the West Coast line and sales are now soaring.

John Davidson from Manchester said, “I take my inflatable Buddy, ‘Lucy’ whenever I travel on Virgin. I can get my laptop out and spread all my other stuff all over the table without being disturbed by some fat yak or someone slurping pot noodles. She’s also very good company whenever I'm working away from home.”

Inflatable Buddies are ingeniously designed to deflate in under a second if a commuter spots a more attractive passenger looking for a seat.

But the idea has not gone down well with some passengers.

Jean Podmore from Birmingham and expecting her first child in September said, “I couldn’t get a seat for the life of me this morning despite gently shouting “can’t you see I’m fucking pregnant you bastards?” Similarly Cybil Armstrong from London said, “I had to stand from London to Edinburgh as half the seats were filled with these blessed inflatables. My late husband would never have dreamt of taking his blow up doll on the train with him, but they do what they want to do nowadays don’t they?”

A range of inflatable dogs, bags and suitcases is also being developed to place on seats just to generally piss people off.

As Virgin don't mind full fare paying passengers standing up or crammed in gangways and smelly toilet corridors they are prepared to let buddies have a seat at half fare..think that's how it will work...