Question

26 Weeks Prego and Finances are Rough. Advice Please :(

Share

I am 19 and work at a Taco Bell. Me and my fiance moved into a place together and he was looking for job and I was making enough money to provide for us on my own. Recently, my work cut my hours for no reason and now I cannot pay all my bills for the first time this month. I'm really stressing and getting depressed about working hard for money that I will never see and then struggling because I cannot pay bills on my own. My fiance has some felonies so he has enough trouble finding a job but he's trying. My parents have a room in their house they said we could move into if we need but he refuses, but I think we should. Besides, if he don't have a job when the baby is born in April, the baby won't ever have diapers or anything. I'm tired of struggling and don't know what to do about any of this. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Mom Answers

There are programs that will help if you are Ok with getting on them. There is WIC, that will help with food and formula for you and baby. There is aid and food stamps. Its a difficult path to take but the health of you and baby are a far better concern. I know what it feels like not to have enough money. I understand why he wouldn't want to move back and I felt the same way but we pulled through our tough time and I am sure u will also. But at some point if its too much on you, you have to do whats best for you and your baby. Tell him to look for jobs at warehouses, doing stocking, at the docs if you live near one, driving trucks, usually those jobs give people with record a chance because lets face, they have to make a living too and they also have programs for people with felonies. Good luck.

Sounds to me like your boyfriend needs to swallow his pride. I would say move in with your parents until the baby comes and save up what money you can. I don't want this to come across the wrong way but if he can't contribute financially right now I would say the choice is up to you. Sometimes you have to ask for a little help with the well being of your baby is on the line!

I am 20, pregnant with my second. Me and my fiance have low income. I work at Starbucks and he is on unemployment. I am on WIC and healthcare aid which covers all the expenses during pregancy and in the hospital. All I can say is you are never going to be financially ready for a baby you just have to do the best you can. Save money. Get the cheapest diapers you can that are decent to hold. Go apply for help with your utilities and possibly rent. I can't just go live with my parents so I am stuck on my own. We make it thru, it's stressful but we make it. Also, get food stamps and for baby clothes go to a local store that has used clothes. Even go online and look at Craigslist.com. There are ways to make it thru you just have to be smart about it and get the help you need. You will do just fine!

Pray, Pray, and Pray some more. Don't give up, life is hard no matter what. You have to find joy in the everyday things. I was 19 and pregnant once, and alone. I am now married and pregnant with my fourth. Regardless of our finances we have always stayed in love, with God and each other. You can do it.

If adoption is what you want for your child go for it. Otherwise ignore people who tell you to place your child to adoption simply because you are young and afraid.
You can do this!
But you need to accept help! there is lots of help availible, for everything from food, to formula(if that is your choice), to housing to diapers and daycare... No one will give you spending money, but basic needs will be taken care of!
Talk to an EXPERIENCED person ASAP, your local crisis pregnancy centre is a great resourse and they can fully explain ALL of your options and give you the emotional support you need... They may even have amentoring program and be able to conect you with someone who has been in your shoes!
Best of luck!

Take whatever help you can get with food, clothing, utilities. Talk to your preist or one at a local church... There is a lot of help out there if you look!!! Your dr or social services office may also be able to direct you where to go for help!
As for the Fiancee... sugest that he do temp work. Get him an appointment with John Howard society, united way(or whatever local agency helps ex-cons). There are opportunities out there for him to get work or at least work experience. If he is worth having around he will be willing to go to an appointment and at least see what is avaliable...
Best of luck! Remember to take care of yourself, that means not being to proud to take freebies and food stamps...

I wish I could say theres an easy way.....I'm in the same predicament, fiance nt working and we can hardly make ends meet as we speak. my mom is helping out where she can bt still.....I'm frustrated because we gonna have 2 tell our families and I knw 4 a fact that my mom will freak out big time.....and I think this is taking its toll on our relationship......

If your parents are willing to help, you should take them up on it. You will need the support, emotionally, physically and financially. He needs to be man enough to put the needs of his family before his pride.

I also went on WIC (Women, Infants, Children) and I have to say, it was a godsend. While I was pregnant, it got us regular food staples like bread, milk, cheese, cereal and peanut butter. When I gave birth and had problems breastfeeding, it would buy 5-10 containers (at least) of formula a month (five containers alone cost up to $75--- my baby is three weeks old now and can go through a container in up to four days so this was a godsend).
Buy in bulk, go generic, have a babyshower and request gift cards instead of gifts. Go garage saling for baby stuff, and look for any local programs to help out. Instead of paying for a carseat, we went to the local police department who had a carseat donating program and only paid about $20. It's hard, but doable.

I was 21 when I got pregnant. My boyfriend disappeared and reappeared many times during my pregnancy. I tried to make ends meet on my own, got my own place and tried to pay my bills. Then I realized how much I needed my parents if my boyfriend was not going to help out. I feel you should accept your parents help and explain to your boyfriend that your baby is priority #1 over ALL things. He can go with you if he chooses, but you need to be where you will be helped and cared for. Remember, you're not going to work for a while and the expenses are only going to get bigger, diapers, formula, clothing, dr appointments...it's tough and you will appreciate the help your parents are willing to give. Don't be proud, be reasonable for the sake of your baby. Just remind yourself that this isn't forever. Your parents are providing a stepping stone for you to catapult off of when you're ready.

This Internet site provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional. Please review the Terms of Use before using this site. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use.

This site is published by BabyCenter, L.L.C., which is responsible for its contents as further described and qualified in the Terms of Use.