As I’m putting together these calendars for assisted living communities, I’m looking at the graphics that we’re using. They’re antique items, such as old-fashioned record players, telephones, typewriters and such.

I wonder what kind of graphics someone will use for calendars when my generation gets old enough for assisted living. Will we see pictures of humongous jamboxes? How about those clunky early cell phone models? Perhaps a graphic of a Texas Instruments computer or one of those Brother word processors?

Instead of Elvis impersonators, will we have Michael Jackson performers complete with child molesting for the grandchildren? Instead of swing music night, will we have new wave music night or grunge music night, complete with a mosh pit?

Of course, this is all assuming our 401ks don’t tank and we can afford assisted living, because God knows Social Security isn’t going to be there to help!

Forgive me, but I really like Shakira. And Charo. They’re both extremely talented musicians. I don’t know if I’ve ever told anyone how I feel about Charo until now. *wipes a tear away* Thank you for the opportunity.

she might be a talented musician (is her pelvis considered a musical instrument?) but she has the sex appeal of a paper bag.

there’s a ton of these new “sexy” ladies that i simply do not find the least bit attractive…jessica simpson for example.

i should be all about that girl…blonde, a chest that would kill an elephant, and a love being half-naked all the time. but i look at her and there’s simply nothing there for me to be really interested in.

but hey, if you’re into shakira and charo then that’s groovy. just know i will be giggling and pointing for the rest of the week.