This is the last post of a defunct blog called “Rising to Grace” by Aditi:

Tomorrow I Plan to Make Better Mistakes

When I started this blog almost two years ago in the orange –amber days of fall, I didn’t really have an agenda – all I had was words. And I had this sense – of looking, searching – of trying to find grace. So for those of you who’ve wondered what the title is all about – this is it. Most literally, it is a biblical term that means divine love and protection… but for me it is that place where “everything’s ok.” We live in a world that is fraught with disillusionment, heartbreak, and pain, and through it all, grace knows that no matter what – it’s ok. Typically, we humans tend to fall from grace because of our stupidity and silliness, but I believe that through all our mistakes and failures – we actually find it. As we go through life and stumble and fall, we rise to grace.

“Grace is that force that infuses our lives, that keeps letting us off the hook. It is unearned and gratuitous love; the love that goes before, that greets us on the way. It’s the help you receive when you have no bright ideas left, when you are empty and desperate and have discovered that your best thinking and most charming charm have failed you; grace is the light or electricity or juice or breeze that takes you from that isolated place and puts you with others who are as startled and embarrassed and eventually grateful as you are to be there. “

These aren’t my words but something that I read in this book – Plan B… “Everything feels crazy,” writes Lamott, adding, “But on small patches of earth all over, I can see just as much messy grace as ever…’It meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.’”

The thing is that in life things don’t always work out the way you plan. But there’s grace. Grace that lets us know that even if things aren’t working exactly according to plan – it will still be OK. Because if Plan A isn’t working out, there is a Plan B. And Plan B doesn’t really require that much planning – all it asks is that we just show up. That we make ourselves get up in the morning and breathe.

So that’s what I am going to do. Breathe. There’s been so much of grace in my life. I had been looking for it – only to find that I had it all along.

And that’s why I feel it’s time. And even though like the characters in my stories, I am still looking and searching – I have a feeling that we all will be ok.

Like this:

Related

2 responses to “Finding Grace on the Wrong Road”

Yes, after all the childhood abuse, one finds they wrestle with trusting anything, anyone in addition to attempting to live a “normal” life, and make “something of themselves” when they have had to fight being beaten. Yet, they will hope for the best and believe it will be okay feels as if it is almost too good to be true.. Finding betrayal following coming to terms with being the object of someone elses rage, learned of choices either to believe in betrayal and becoming bitter, or to let it all go and hope for God’s love and grace to abound. Feeling guilty for not being more prepared to show love and grace to others compounded this. Plan B, up to this point in life, have found but glimpses of his love and grace and either do not have any, or there is just enough strength, fortitude to get up, brush off all the dirt, and keep moving on into an existence – God’s strength. Plan A, maybe it’s time to expect more of God. It’s time to believe the best again without doubt. God can and will turn this around too, don’t you suppose?

I’m sorry for your difficult childhood and adulthood, Anonymous. Hope is a tricky thing. The primary hope the Bible calls us to is a hope in final redemption… which may mean this life is a trail of tears. Some folks find it beneficial to hope for better things in this life, since it does not crush them when that hope goes unfulfilled. Others find it better for their mental stability to limit their hopes for this life and be surprised by good things when they come since they tend to be crushed by dashed hopes. I’m not sure there is a “Plan A” except in our own minds. God is in the business of bringing our soul into more health and understanding and our relationships into genuine community. I suspect he can do this whether I am a teacher or mason, CEO or homeless waif and that the path is rarely straight or clear for most of us. Perhaps the Plan A God has in mind is our blessing, the progression of our soul into freedom, peace, and light, and that this is a life long journey with many “cut backs” as we say on the trail. I think the messiness and herky-jerky nature of our progress, the deserts and streams, are all a normal part of this life, I don’t think that the Israelites were simply “wandering” in the wilderness, but if they thought Plan A was to get to the promised land, it must have felt truly devastating. Just as Moses needed 40 years of herding sheep to prepare him to lead the Jewish people, the people needed 40 years to prepare them for the promised land. They thought they were “wandering” in Plan B (or C or F), but God needed every day of that wilderness to shape his people into a nation.