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Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen masterminds ‘Changing Newham Council Rooms’

Newham, one of London’s poorest London boroughs, has expressed its delight at being able to work with Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen on an updated series of ‘Changing Rooms’.

‘Newham has been in desperate need of flamboyant, profligate overspending on fripperies for some time,’ said Councillor Dudley Colson. ‘Poor health, low educational attainment, inadequate housing, blah blah blah – all that talk is soooo 2010, dahling. What we need is some expensive new wallpaper, luxury light fittings and a sense of general impunity when it comes to spending public money.’

Llewellyn-Bowen has expressed his ‘fluffy, ambiguously metrosexual joy’ at the prospect of working with Newham Council. ‘It’s a wonderful chance to reunite the whole gang,’ he added. ‘Poor old Diarmuid’s had a terrible time recently and has been tarmacking old people’s drives just to break even.’