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The hits keep coming

Today’s my first day off of painkillers in over a week. Oh, how I miss them. Hello, aches and pains. Life is better on painkillers (kidding), though I have to say it is (kidding, I think). Okay, some frankness: I probably could have justified a painkiller or two today. It’s not as if the coughing didn’t hurt – it did. I just felt I was enjoying life a bit too much in an altered state. So, I stayed normal for the day. Boring.

I was too lazy to shoot a picture of my own stash of these. Is it my imagination or do these pills look like breath mints? I tell you, the breath mint companies would sell a lot more of their product if their mints made you feel like these puppies make you feel.

BTW, I have two hernias. One I’ve known about for a long time. It’s a large bulge in the middle of my upper abs and rises like an Alien is ready to rip through my gut when I do a sit up. It’s kind of gross but the doctors in the hospital have said if it doesn’t bother me then let it be. Easy for them to say. They don’t have a creature living inside their stomach.

However, now I notice a bulge from my navel when I cough. So, it’s off to the hernia surgeon next week.

It seems to me that one day . . . possibly . . . maybe . . . it could happen . . . I might cough so hard that the upper half of me just explodes. Boom. Bang. Explosion cough.

One minute I had a midsection, the giant cough happened, then my office walls were covered in blood, mucous, and organs, with a few ribs sticking through the drywall. Watch as my head rolls off my treadmill and is buried in the backyard by one of my Labradors.

And there’s more.

I took another hit recently when I found out the drug study I was supposed to be in got cancelled. Four months of waiting down the “CF sucks” toilet. Flush.

It took my breath away when I found out, and my daughter and wife cried. I think they felt worse than I did. I guess it’s why I never mentioned it on this blog. I kind of expect good things to fall through sometimes and I thought it would be bad luck to talk about it. It didn’t matter in the end.

That’s it for tonight. It’s broken ribs, shingles and hernias week at my house and we’re all celebrating, though clearly I have been celebrating more than anyone else thanks to my pal Norco 5/325. Yeah, baby.

You are really having a run of bum luck. Maybe you’re getting it all out of your system now so you can have a glorious summer on the beach, free from all ailments? Best of luck with your upcoming surgical appointment. I’ve never had hernia surgery, but have had an appendectomy and recovering from abdominal surgery with a coughing disease is not easy the first couple of weeks.

I am glad you are cautious about living life joyously under the influence of Vicodin. It reminds me of a recent This American Life episode that I think all humans should listen to because the dangers of acetaminophen are real. http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/505/use-only-as-directed (I actually tell everyone about it anytime I hear talk of taking Nyquil, Theraflu, Vicodin, etc.; I also proselytize about wild caught fish.)

And now I shall end this debbie-downer comment with something positive: your wood working skills are very impressive. Ron Swanson would be proud. Do you do commissioned work?

You must have really ticked off one of the Gods of Revenge (Dodgerhatermus or Braveslover Ra. Ra-Horakhty) in your previous life and they are now throwing everything they’ve got at you. The amazing part is that you’re taking it all in stride (seemingly) and push on with such good wit and humor. You’re overdue for some “good things to fall through” so just hang in there.

Seriously; sorry the trial was cancelled, hoping the hernia surgery goes well and you have a speedy recovery.

If the Dodgers don’t win it all, I hope the Braves do. Just for you. Can’t wait for the hernia surgery. That should add to my supply of pain pills. A six pack in the palm of your hand. Yes, the rehab post will be coming soon.