Signs He’s More Into Himself Than Anybody Else Right Now

Every so often you’ll come across a very confusing type of guy; he doesn’t want to get serious with you, but it doesn’t really seem like he’s dating anybody else. He doesn’t strike you as a player, but he sure is hard to get ahold of on some days. You can tell that you aren’t his priority, but it doesn’t seem like anybody else is. There is a term for this guy: the guy who is into himself. He might be fresh from a breakup, experiencing some growing pains, or just transitioning from one age group to another. Whatever the reason, he’s more into himself than anybody else right now. While it’s not quite as easy to see why this guy can’t make a good boyfriend, trust me, he can’t. At least not for now. Here are signs you’re dating a guy who is more into himself right now than into any woman.

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He asks questions that seem very random

He doesn’t necessarily ask you about you—instead he asks you things like, “What do you think it’s like to live in India? Do you know anybody who has lived in India? Do you think we come back as something else in another life?”

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He’s keeping weird hours

You’ll get calls from him at 4 am, or see that he posted on Instagram at 6 am. Guys going through a self-discovery period can’t be bothered to keep normal hours. They don’t care if they’re awake to hang out with others or asleep at a responsible time. They live by their own clock. Don’t try inviting them to brunch.

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He posts on social media a lot

Men and women are the same this way: during times when we’re into ourselves, we post a lot on social media. Social media is pretty into us too and, well, we like that. We love the non-commital nature of conversations on Facebook and the flatter that comes with likes on Instagram.

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He’s taking a weird class

Like learning how to sing while hanging upside down or learning to sketch “feelings.” He’s still figuring out what “his thing” is.

He’s journaling

He might not call it journaling. He might call it “blogging” or “writing a little something.” He calls it this because men don’t feel that they’re allowed to say “journaling.” But the man is journaling.

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His style is all over the place

He will wear white linen pants and pooka shells one day and skin-tight ripped black jeans with leather bracelets a-la Johnny Depp another day. His physical appearance is a representation of his internal feelings: chaotic exploration.

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He spends a lot of time alone

When you ask him what he did all weekend, he describes 48 hours that were clearly spent entirely alone. Some of them might have involved sitting on a park bench that overlooked the city, see what I’m saying?

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He comes and goes

He’ll be completely elusive and impossible to reach for weeks, and then, like a storm, he’ll come rushing back into your life. When he does come around, he is so enthusiastic about seeing you that it’s hard to get mad at him for disappearing. He’s back, by the way, because you fit into whatever mini-phase of his self-exploration he is currently going through.

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Sometimes he just wants to lay with you

He doesn’t want to have sex or fool around. He just wants to lay with you. Sigh. Self-discovery can be lonely and confusing, and the guy needs a little comfort.

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He’s trying some new diet

He is very, very into a diet that he is trying. Also, this is the first special diet he has ever tried. If he has a history of trying all sorts of diets, that’s one thing—that means that food changes are the norm for him. But if this is his first try at veganism/vegetarianism/pescetarianism, he’s into himself right now. He is “listening to his body.”

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He’s trying some meditative practice

Whether it is actual meditation, or splatter paint or yoga, he is trying some new meditation practice. Like the diet, this is his first time trying something like this.

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He tells you about other women

He tells you about other women he is dating, and he seems completely oblivious to the fact that there might be a problem with this. Guys who are very into themselves forget that, well, not everybody is as into them as they are to the point that they’ll put up with this BS!

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He just quit his job

He just quit his job, and he speaks about it as if it is very liberating. He doesn’t know what he’ll do next, but he finds that fact very liberating, too. If you tried to be his girlfriend, you’d find that part very concerning.

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He’s hanging with eccentric people

He takes you to meet his “Amazing new friend.” His “amazing new friend” is probably a painter who lives on the beach and making a living creating portraits of people’s dogs, re-imagined as Pokemon characters. Or something like that.

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He’s looking into alternative lifestyles

He’s considering living on a boat or moving into the wilderness by himself for a year. Maybe he’ll move to a village on a tiny island, or join some group that sounds weirdly like a cult.