Hey! Thanks for following me 🙂 I’m following you back! I take it you are from Portland? We just moved back to my hometown of San Diego after living in Portland for 5 years 🙂 Moved back last August. Looking forward to reading your blog.

Thanks for stopping by and for the follow. I’m now returning the favour.

I was spanked as a kid and am no worse for wear; but, that doesn’t mean I spank my children. I have spanked them as a last resort and only ever on the bum. BUT I have found it to be ineffective. All it really does is teaches them that hitting is okay. My husband and I have since decided that we will not spank the kids and we will use time outs and loss of privileges instead.

Hello,
I can’t pass up the opportunity to put in my two cents on this topic. I am the mother of four. I have never been a ‘spanker’ although I was never opposed to it. My kids have received the odd spank on the butt when they’re “lost control of their senses.” I feel sometimes that’s what they need to be snapped back to reality when in the midst of an all out tantrum. But honestly, I never felt very good afterwards.
So spanking yes. Habitually no. Does it help? Sometimes.
Not sure I helped, but it felt good sharing!
Good for you for taking on this controversial subject.

In theory I am pro-spanking, but when push comes to shove (or spank, so to speak) I can never bring myself to do it and usually go with a timeout. That’s not to say I haven’t spanked, but it’s not worth the guilt I feel afterward. Good luck with your article!

Like the first poster I can never pass up a chance where I can tip off with my two cents. I’m not opposed to the spontaneous spank. Before I go on let me define “spank”. Open handed, single swat on the butt; while the kid is completely out of control and raging on. I see nothing wrong with a single swat as I think it is a part of active parenting to allow kid to know I’m in control.

Now does it work, yes it works to catch the kid by total surprise and cease the out of control behavior and shows kid I meant what I said I did “to stop”. I don’t even yield the repercussions of a child crying or running off as I do it so softly it merely breaks their concentration of acting poorly.

I do not believe it should be used as the primary option of punishment nor should it be done each and every time; it also in my option has so much to do with how hard you do this as there is a difference between a tap, swat, and spanking yet each fit in the spank category. Once it’s done we can return to a normal routine.

My husband and I originally used spanking as one of the many tools in our toolbox of discipline. It wasn’t often, and when we had to resort to spanking both of us felt horrible after. We were young, we didn’t know the difference, we didn’t know what adverse effects we could have on our child at that time. What we learned was that spanking never worked for us. It didn’t curtail the bad behavior, and it did nothing to help our son except teach him that hitting is okay. In fact, I’d dare say in our situation it caused our oldest son to hit, a phase we had hoped he would never go through.

Needless to say, we rethought our position and we educated ourselves on other options. We found ones that worked-(reward systems, time out, etc)-and a couple that didn’t work. Now we have an 11 year old who is very well behaved, one who outgrew hitting rather quickly and we had a new toolbox of discipline tools to use on our youngest son, whom we never spanked.

In all, I don’t like spanking, but I’m a firm believer in the option being left to each individual family.

I’ve tried spanking and it does not work with my little one. In fact now she hits back. Even when she is in trouble she thinks it’s a game. We no longer spank. Now we hold her in our arms for a time out. It seems to work the best.

About spanking – I’m a firm non-believer. I got my BS from UT in Child Development and Psychology, and I took so many courses in things such as Positive Child Guidance, etc., that I just feel that there are so many other, better ways to make your point and teach a child. I particularly hate when I see a mother or father spank their child for doing something physical, such as hitting another child. How does hitting a child for hitting make sense to anyone? If instead you teach children about consequences and provide them with guidance and positive modeling, I believe you’ll find yourself in a position where you feel the need to spank far less.

Also, and perhaps more importantly, if you’re mad enough to spank a child – and so many times it’s about a parents anger or frustration as opposed to a child’s actions – you’re mad enough to hurt a child and that’s no good.

I was spanked as a child, and I don’t think I am any worse off than anyone else. Yes, I do spank my girls but…and I mean BUT, I DO NOT SPANK WHEN I AM ANGRY! I’m not sure about most spanking parents, but a parent spanking a child when they are angry is just wrong.
The point we are trying to get across here with our children is to get them to remember “there are consequences to your negative actions.” And sometimes spanking is not necessary; other forms of discipline work on different children.
For instance, spanking my elder daughter was not what she needed…she is a social creature, so a time-out worked for her. With my younger daughter, sometimes she needs a spanking and sometimes she needs a time-out.
I had to make this sound trivial but really it is relative to child and the situtation.

I really don’t want to spank and was opposed to it but sometimes the situation calls for it. I have a 3-step thing with the spanking.

1. I give the “evil look” with a stern voice,that’s usually enough to keep my kid in check.
2. I give her a time out and she faces the wall.
3. For times when she has the “crazies”. A slap on her hand or butt, never when I’m angry or out in public and I always explain why I did that to her.

I think spanking is ok. With that said, I have had to stop almost completely because I find myself doing it in anger and as a punishment instead of in love and in a spirit of discipline. Our kids don’t like to be disciplined, but I do believe that they can learn that the reason we do discipline is because we love them – however if we punish out of anger, I think we can create a chasm, a huge disconnect, that we will regret immeasurably when they are older.

I’m with you on this one. I’ve spanked our oldest boy. And sometimes I forget he is only 2. Anger takes over. But since I started reading all these comments I feel more confident that i can take a better approach when my boy is misbehaving.

Well I will say that I have spanked my 2 year old. I don’t like doing it and usually it is only 2 or three pops on his diaper. But I have found that even when it stings a bit, it doesn’t work. I don’t believe in beating your kids, but I think that parents should each decide what is the most workable option for themselves and their kids. With my kid, spanking doesn’t work. What is much more effective is time out, ignoring bad behavior (mostly at home cause I can’t ignore it in public or people start to get mad! LOL!), and even a soft, calm voice does the trick. But that is what works for us. Other kids and families are all different! 🙂
<3MaryAnne
ps- found you today on Bloggy Moms and I really like your blog! Hope to see you around the boggy-verse!

I believe that spanking can be an effective tool if used properly. That said, I do not plan to spank for every little thing. I think it is most effective when used in particular situations, ie when a child is being defiant and rebellious. But spanking should be administered with loving concern for the character of the child…not because a parent is frustrated or angry.

Thanks for the follow on Twitter! I am now following you back and am following on Google, too!

I just got in an argument with a pro-spanker on another blog! Actually, she was overly defensive when I voiced my opposition to beating kids’ bare bottoms with sticks and belts and rods.

However, I’ve “swatted” my own kids on occasion- especially when they were little and doing something dangerous. A swat on the hand when they reached for the outlet, etc. I suppose that constitutes a certain brand of spanking.

Spanking certainly works if it is done consistently! However, so do time-outs and other forms of punishment. The key to any form of discipline is consistency. I was spanked as a child, and although it hurt, it was more humiliating than anything.

I guess spanking just seems unnecessary. I don’t want to physically hurt or humiliate my child- even when they’ve been bad. I’ve found the book 1-2-3 Magic to be extremely easy to follow, practical, and effective.

I have spanked my boy too and it rarely works. When he is misbehaving we ask him to stop, if he doesn’t, we ask him if he want to be spanked or go on time out. He chooses time out. I agree with you that it is more humiliating than anything.
I believe that sometimes spanking is necessary but I am not going to go to the extent of saying I am a pro-spanker and so should everybody else. To each their own. It amazes me that some people are so stuck up that they thing everything has to be as they do. And if you don’t follow their expectations you are less than them.
Why are some people still stuck in all the High School drama?

Thanks for your opinion. It is much appreciated.

About Me

Hi, my name is Sofia. I am a wife, mother, blogger, pretend cook, aspiring photographer. And this is where I blog.