All Rise...

Editor's Note

The Charge

Watch out for the booby traps. They're explosive!

The Case

Chesty Morgan is back, and so is her front. She plays Jane, an undercover spy
who is given the choice assignment of breaking crime boss Toplar's "low
grade" heroin ring. In order to get the goods on the goon, she has a camera
implanted in her teat, which she operates by lifting and separating. For some
vague, incoherent reason the camera also contains a bomb. After thwarting a post
surgical assassination attempt, and sporting a kicky new wig and inert fashion
sense, its secret agent super stupid on the case. The remainder of the film has
Jane readily finding all the necessary drug connections, thwarting their
advances and superior motor skills, and stripping down to her trusty pantyhose
and girdle to make like Annie Lebowitz (or is that Sprinkle?). Anyway, there is
a subplot involving a guy named Tim (who may or may not be involved with the
syndicate) who falls for our lady in eye lacquer. But just like Chesty's various
hairpieces, it feels tacked on.

Realizing that Deadly Weapons
had too much plot, Doris Wishman decided to boil down this soil to its bare ass
essentials. That means lots and lots of shots of Chesty Morgan topless. Granted,
this will thrill those who thought the previous Wishman/Morgan epic too coherent
and well acted. Still, Chesty's ample assets are an effective and priceless
motion picture marketing device, like bullet time in The Matrix, or Sophia Coppola in
Godfather III. Unfortunately, Chesty looks more bored, lost, and confused
here than before, as if she knew that it was her rack, alone, that was carrying
the picture. Her line delivery, even overdubbed, is monotone. Truly, there is no
other reason to watch this movie than to see Chesty waddle painfully from one
disconnected scene to another, simply to drop blou and let those mammoth
mammaries undulate and sway. As a human biological oddity, Chesty is a mountain
in a world of molehills. As an actress, screen presence, and sex object, she's
more Charles than Mamie Van Doren. This is either hilarious or
pathetic…take your pick.

Again, Something Weird goes light on the DVD packaging and extras. We are
offered a full screen mono presentation that is good without being great. There
is the standard Chesty Morgan trailers, gallery of exploitation art, and a
genuinely odd archival short featuring Tempest Storm having her chest
immortalized in plaster (?). This disc would definitely benefit from a
commentary, since Wishman has often on the record discussed how absolutely
miserable it was working with Chesty. Apparently, what we are seeing on the
screen are NOT the mistakes. What did she really expect from a woman who spends
most of her days wearing an elaborate series of trusses that would make Fred
Garvin jealous? As it stands, this is for exploitation completists only, as the
casual fan will find this a much tougher road to haul than Weapons. If you must have everything SWV puts
out, buy it. Otherwise, get good and liquored up and rent it.