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Alicia Keys had an appearance on the David Letterman show sometime this week and was looking really hot but something was amiss. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it but after careful examination I came to one very special conclusion, her ass is not a problem. Alicia’s ass is stunning and by stunning I mean that I would be in that ass all night if she asked me to, rim job included. Damn, that is one fine ass. But something else was bothering me about the way she looked, her dress was so tight that it left nothing to the imagination, and don’t get me wrong she looked banging in it. And then it hit me, her itty bitty titties do not match the perfection that is the rest of her body. They look like orangutan titties and for Alicia that is a travesty. She could be the perfect woman, except for the crazed racism that she exhibits, but her titties ruin it for me. I for one am going to start an online petition demanding that Alicia get a tit job so that she can live up to her potential. She could be the total package but of course she has too much integrity and love for self to go under the knife, damn it Alicia why can’t you be a spoiled rich white girl with no self esteem, damn you Alicia, you broke my heart.

This week all I could think about was Britain and it’s impending recession that is going to level that country. Just playing, all could think about is the hot pieces of ass that have come from that great little island. There are way too many to write about so I will concentrate on only the few that make me feel like jerking it. First since I already did a post on her I am not going to mention my angel Kate Beckinsale. I’m going to start of with an oldy but a goody, Rachel Stevens, this girl was the only good thing about that Spice Girl rip off S Club 7. The rest of the girls looked like her retarded cousins when she walked into the room, like posh she was the best looking of the bunch but the worst singer, and therefore the most popular.

The next girl that I am crazy over from England is Cheryl Tweedy. I always thought that girls with dimples where more cute than sexy but after laying eyes on Cheryl Tweedy, I stand corrected. The popular saying now a days is that Cheryl Tweedy is trying to be like Posh, and at first glance the similarities are abundantly present, but unlike Posh Cheryl Tweedy is still really sexy and that differentiates her in my books.

The final girl on the list is a little of a butter face but her body is too crazy for words. I, of course am talking about Jennifer Ellison, this slut has the greatest body that I have ever seen. If her face matched her body the world would implode upon itself, it would be that unreal. I remember seeing her in UK Maxim when they were ranking the hottest women ever adn she came in the top 20 at the age of seventeen. And her body was still F’n crazy.

I saw something today that gave me hope for a better world. I came across pics of Britney Spears at the beach. Now she isn’t much to look at now but if the news reports are to be believed she is working hard to get back into shape. I remember Britney back when she first came out and she was gorgeous, I always prayed for images of her to get leaked without any clothes on, lo and behold my prayers were answered but what I saw was some sort of sick joke. She looked nothing like I imagined, she had let herself go and looked like 90% of the female population, fat and ugly. But after hearing this news about her getting back in shape my prayers have a second chance of getting answered and this time I hope that the images are more pleasing to the senses.

I never really thought that fergie was that attractive even in her heyday where the Black Eyed Peas were everywhere and she was on every magazine cover. I do though have to admit that she can rock a bikini like few people can. Her body is crazy. She has just enough meat on her where you can picture yourself taking the girl for a ride and not have to worry about her telling you to be more gentle. Fergie looks like the type of girl that loves aggressive sex that borders on violent, and I am a fan of that it would get old eventually but the ride would be something that wet dreams are made of. Continue reading →