Buon giorno. Welcome to . I am your Giuseppe. If you will kindly follow me, I will show you all the best places to . Please don’t wander away from the tour or I will have to . Under your seat you will find a , put it on if you plan to do any serious .

Remember to keep your and inside the at ALL TIMES. Our first stop will be an important cultural center, our friendly neighborhood store. I like to get good and up before I start the tour. is divided into districts. The first is called row or Cannaregio. It is home to many who keep busy working over tourists around the Grand . On your you will notice the Jewish Ghetto leads us to the small district of San . Venice is not a slum shithole. Please do not slum down this enviable place by bringing in banknotes less worth than shitty €50. We honestly dont like these €50 notes either.