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Jan 10 Short..But important : 020

I wanted to touch on the post I put out yesterday. It was from a good place but I feel like I may have gone light on one of the most important aspects and in turn left some people with perhaps the wrong and maybe even directly opposite message of what I have been feeling.

I truly believe in the message I put here but I’d be remiss if I left it at that.

I’ve been really inspired by the feedback I’ve been getting but it has also given me a lot of real insight into how people will find the message they need in what are you saying. That being said clarity of my intention is really important to me.

When I spoke about all the benefits of giving attention and truly listening I talked about what you get in return. I think I didn’t give enough time or gravity to the idea that what you are getting is right there. It’s not a matter of someone else giving it. You have to find the happiness in the giving; of attention, time, or even talents.

If you give and give.and give and when the time comes that person doesn’t “even up” the score that is ok. It isn’t about them doing as much for me as I have done for them. In fact I’ll let you know a little secret, the best relationships I have in my life are based on me intentionally giving more.

When you are constantly battling to see who is giving more in a relationship it is an amazing feeling. In fact I’ll let you all in on a little secret, I take a lot of my joy in doing more for the other person. Knowing that I’m giving and giving and giving is way more satisfying. So much so that if I completely real about this I get bothered a little when those close to me do more for me. Now I accept with gratitude because I would never rob someone of the kind of joy I constantly find in giving.

DO something, and I promise it is something for yourself…

Go donate some time to something charitable, a hospital, a home for the elderly, walk a long stretch of beach and clean up the garbage you see. In everyone of these cases you go in knowing there is no way for you to be repaid, you wouldn’t expect the hospital to pay you, the old folks to come by your place and make you dinner, or the beach to give you better set of waves. You go in knowing that what you are doing is completely altruistic. Yet you walk away from experiences like these filled with joy. Often times filled with a new found appreciation, gratitude for your place and perspective.

This is how we need to see the giving we do with individuals as well. The happiness comes in the act of giving and not in the expectations. That is a sure road to disappointment. When if all we expect going in is the gratitude for the joy we get from giving we are on a sure road to happiness