Monday, October 30, 2006

In the latest round of skirting his past, Baltimore Mayor Martin O'Malley was interviewed by Washington Post radio. During the radio, he was asked if he was going to release the records of his bar application. He said no. Asked why he was avoiding the issue, O'Malley said something to the degree of "we are not looking in the past. We are concerned about the future". And then there was some rhetoric about how is going to save old people and clean the bay. And then some more no comments.

It sure sounds like he's not trying to hide anything, right? He said the past was unimportant. It must be unimportant that he fired 4 police commissioners. It must be unimportant that he was arrested for Driving Under the Influence of alcohol. It must be unimportant that he rewrote crime statistics to make the city look better under his watch.

Until O'Malley states otherwise, and there is no evidence to support this, but we will speculate that his bar application also contains arrests for soliciting male prostitutes, streaking naked across the field during a high school football game (O'Malley was 31 at the time), soliciting campaign contributions from Communists (Namely Fidel Castro and Kim Jong Il), and being married to 5 different women at one time.

Instead, O'Malley is going to work hard to help our children. He's going to work hard to make middle class families stronger. He's going to work hard to make the Chesapeake Bay cleaner. What the hell is that? When I run for office, I'm going to work hard to make everybody rich and sexually fulfilled. Top that, Mr. B.S.

Lies, Damn Lies, & Statistics

Every year, Morgan Quinto awards cities for being the safest and most dangerous. This year, the award for the most dangerous went to St. Louis. However, when you look at the big picture, St. Louis was categorized in the "small city" group. Looking at "big cities", (cities of 500,000 or more people), Baltimore is listed as the second most dangerous city after Detroit. One note on Detroit, it's considered uncool not to kill someone at least once a year.

So, Mr. O'Malley, if Baltimore is so safe, why second place on the list of Where Not To Go For Your Summer Vacation? If you become Governor, you need to kick the ass of that guy running Baltimore City because the crime in his town is out of control. What's that guy doing anyway?

Local Politics

All politicians start at the local level. Here in Carroll County, we have a race for Carroll County Commissioners. We have three of them. I guess it's sort of a checks and balance system. If one of the f's up, the other two can undo it.There are several problems here. Normally, whichever Republican wins the primary wins the election because Carroll County is 200% Republican. One of the current members is one of the ole' boys. Another one leaves everyone in the dark. The one normal one did not get renominated in the primary.

The guy who pulled off the upset is Mike Zimmer. This guy is a real snake. He was in a forum where other candidates for County Commissioner squared off and answered questions. This clown stated that he is active in the community by being an integral member of Carrolltowne United, a local single-issue activist group. The problem with this is that I am very close to the Secretary of the group and the Secretary of the group tells me that Mike Zimmer basically had nothing to do with Carrolltowne United. This makes Mike Zimmer a big fat obnoxious liar.

Miscellaneous

Adlai Stevenson, a former Presidential candidate running against Republican Dwight D. Eisenhower, was at a campaign rally. Someone from the crowd shouted, "Mr. Stevenson, every thinking man in America will vote for you!" Stevenson replied, "That's not enough, I want to win!"

Another time he was being interviewed. Someone asked him why he wanted to win. He replied, "Because I don't want to lose!"

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The campaign manager for Scott Rolle, the Republican candidate for Maryland State's Attorney General, sued Douglas Gansler for running for State's Attorney General when, in fact, he is not eligible.

Maryland's Constitution states that a candidate for Attorney General must practice law in the state of Maryland for at least 10 years to be eligible for the position. Gansler, however, has only practiced law for 8 years. Gansler claimed that he is eligible for the position because he has been a member of the bar for 17 years and once worked as an assistant U.S. attorney.

Anne Arundel County Circuit Court Judge Ronald Silkworthagreed with Gansler that it is okay not to meet the requirements for a position, striking down the Republicans' lawsuit.

I hope then when my lawsuit where I claim that I meet the requirements that I do not have to pay taxes, the case is heard by Judge Ronald Skunkworth.

This is a surprising ruling considering that Judge Silkworth is normally considered a reasonable judge. This is the same judge that ruled that the Democrats were off of their rocker when they passed a law that stated that you could vote for the entire week leading up to the election, that these additional polling places would be in heavily-Democratic areas, that you would not be required to show identification, and that there would be no record-keeping to prevent someone from voting multiple times. In Chicago, this is known as "vote early, vote often". In Maryland, it is considered Democratic politics status quo.

Steele Magnolias

Ben Cardin and Michael Steele appeared on Meet the Press with Tim Russert today in the last of the expected debates to fill the Maryland Senate seat vacated by the anti-Maryland, anti-business retiring Paul Sarbanes.Most of the debate centered around the Iraq War and Cardin was trying to make Steele look bad by saying that he likes the President of the United States. It's not like Steele likes Hitler or Kim Jong Il.

Then the debate turned to abortion, which Michael Steele has hinted that he is against. Ben Cardin, on the other hand, tried to pass a law making it legal for under-age children to get abortions without telling their parents. According the Ben Cardin, it's okay for a 12 year old girl to get an abortion without telling her mother, but she cannot go to the dentist to get a cavity filled. That sure makes a lot of sense.

Getting back to the anti-Sarbanes, I want to explain myself. Anti-Business Sarbanes: the Sarbanes-Oxley Act was passed after the Enron, WorldComm scandals. This was Congress' way to control those bad companies and protect us Americans. One of the effects of this law was that business had to spend more money on compliance reporting. This has a huge impact on mid and small-sized businesses.

Anti-Maryland Sarbanes: Sarbanes collected 67.8% of his political contributions from out-of-state. Who is/was Sarbanes representing when only 32.2% of his campaign contributions came from the state in which he is the representative. Steny Hoyer, the bigot as mentioned in my previous posts, received 56.6% of his money out of state. I would take that to meant that not many people in Maryland like him, and can you blame them???You're running out of time. Contact votenotmalley@hotmail.com to get your Vote No'Malley bumper sticker!!!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Martin O'Malley admitted on Tuesday that he was once arrested for DUI. Mayor Peckerhead promptly blamed Bob Ehrlich for the incident saying, "This is the sort of last-minute sleaze he has pulled in every election he's ever run." There is no comment from the Ehrlich camp as to why Bob Ehrlich made Martin O'Malley drive drunk and then was forced to not disclose this on his application to the law bar.

Washington Post Endorses...

Going against the norm, the normally liberal Washington Post has endorsed Governor Bob Ehrlich for governor. The endorsement comes several weeks earlier than the usual endorsement, which normally appears the weekend before the election. This is considered a major coup for the Governor.

The Post states that "more worrisome yet is the fact that an O'Malley victory would herald a return to the brand of one-party Democratic rule that has served the state poorly in the past. Mr. Ehrlich, for all his faults, has shaken up the old guard in Maryland politics -- while appointing plenty of Democrats to his cabinet and judgeships. If he were wise, he would use a second term to start anew with the legislature and build on his record of achievement."

Most insiders expect that the bird cage paper, The Baltimore Sun, will still endorse O'Malley despite all of his flaws.

The Gazette, the local papers serving Carroll, Frederick, Montgomery, Prince George's, and many other southern counties also endorsed Governor Ehrlich for a second term. This endorsement, however, was not unexpected as it serves a conservative base.

Yee-Haw for State's Attorney General

Following in the footsteps of the Southern Maryland bigot Steny Hoyer, Doug Gansler, the Democratic candidate for State's Attorney General, has called Frederick County "Fredneck County". While this is funny is close circles with your friends, it is certainly not something a respectable person says when they are running for an elected office.

Gansler, who is being sued for not being eligible to run for State's Attorney General, denies that he said those insensitive remarks, but has heard others say them. He also denies drinking and driving with Martin O'Malley, shooting endangered species, and promoting responsible and accountable government policies.

Random

I got this email from someone with a blogspot.com email address. Can anyone make anything from it?

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I'm so glad O'Malley is going to make Maryland safer. Maybe if he gets elected, he can do something about the crime in Baltimore City. That guy that's in charge of the city right now is doing one hell of a crappy job.

Today, according to the Baltimore Sun, another person was shot and killed in the city, bringing the annual death toll to 223, 3 more than this time last year.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Conjuntion Junction, What's Your Major Malfunction?

As promised, I have the update from this weekend's Maryland State Teacher's Convention. There are several members of my family that are teachers and we abuse the privilege and make a long weekend vacation out of it.

For the record, a close familiy member was also a teacher for about 21 years. He sure hated that job. He thought teaching was about helping kids learn. Everyone knows teaching is all about politics and towing the line. Another family member was a teacher and she said that you had to be registred as a Democrat or you did not get a job. That was just the way it was, or is.

This year I wore my newly acquired Ehrlich / Cox t-shirt. I knew this shirt would raise an eyebrow or two, especially from the teachers that can read. (just kidding!) The convention is always tainted with the poison of politics. Last year I had the honor of meeting and shaking hands with Doug Duncan. This was before the Baltimore Irish mafia got to him. You know the mafia - if you know what's best for you, you'll get depressed, drop out of the election and never run for office again.

Normally, the convention is filled booths manned with eager sales people and ex-teachers who know what's best. One year I had a 10 minute heated discussion about why I thought the annuities he was selling were horrible investments for retirement plans because you're forcing the teachers to pay for a death benefit that will not be received. The guy eventually told me to leave.

In addition, almost everyone there is a teacher and they all want to know where you teach. I attend as a guest, but few notice the 4"x6" lime green name tag that states "VISITOR". This year, I walked through the entire convention twice with only passing eye-eye contact glances. Most would look down at my shirt, shake their head, and not look me in the eyes. I felt violated! Is this how you women feel? Do people always want to know what your t-shirt says???

After being there an hour, I sat on a bench near the entrance. I man made eye contact with me from a distance and kept looking at me. He broke no smile or made no grimace. I was not sure what his intention was. He finally passed me, but a couple of seconds later there was a tap on my shoulder from behind. He extended his hand and said I was a brave sole for wearing that shirt and he wishes he had one, too. He then handed me a sticker that read, "Teacher Supported" and told me to apply it to my shirt and walk through the convention again.

I then walked proudly amongst the sea of liberals, my head held high, the sarcastic grin held back by the clenching of my teeth. Again, no smiles, no conversation, no 'Can I be your friend?'s. Finally I stood outside the main door to the big room waiting for the rest of the family to gather. A woman walked out of the convention wearing an O'Malley/Brown t-shirt. I cannot be certain, but think the smaller print on the back read, "Distract and Distort the facts from the women who think I'm cute."

I then caught this woman's eye. (actually, 'eyes'. She had 2 of them. Kind of a strange expression). She stopped in mid-stride and shook her head. The anger started boiling through her frizzy hair. Her shaking hands grabbed passers-by and she pointed to me. How dare someone wear a "Teacher Supported" sticker on an Ehrlich t-shirt at my convention!!! My brother-in-law and mother-in-law saw this display of anxiety and began laughing. A deer in headlights. What can she do to stop me?!!!

Shortly thereafter, another man came up to me and shook my hand and said that it takes a bold man to wear that shirt. I think I met both Republicans at the convention.

Uncivil Union

What draws teachers to the Dark Side of the Force? For one, all of the unions, NEA, MSTA, they all brainwash members to think Democrat. My sister-in-law said that she always votes for whomever the union tells her to vote. What kind of logic is that? If the union told her to pass all of her students even if they did not pass their tests...oh, wait, bad example.

Check out their endorsements. Not too many Republicans. And read their important issues and how the politicians voted. It's no wonder that they do not like Governor Bob Ehrlich. The MSTA is in favor of letting struggling schools continue failing the young children of Baltimore.

The MSTA is also failing their own members by refusing to accept any kind of raises by merit. In their eyes, all teachers should be paid the same for the amount of time worked. So Mrs. Incompentance 8-3pm gets paid the same as Mrs. Super Teacher 7-5pm. What is the incentive to do well? Everyone gets the same raise. If my job worked the same way, I would be sitting on my donkey memorizing the entire Internet while I was at work. Baltimore City schools have already proven the accountability is not an issue. Let's apply this to the whole state.

Funnies

Kelly Clarkson has a song out called Hazel Eyes. One of the verses reads:

Here I am, once again.I'm torn into pieces.

My 4 year old son has changed the words to be sung:

Here I am, once again.I want to go to recess.

Check out Weird Al Yankovich's song, White and Nerdy. This is really funny. Especially if you're white and nerdy. Not only do I deny the allegations, I deny the alligator.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Today, we are honored to award the Dumass of the Day to two people. The first award goes to Maryland Congressman, Steny Hoyer. Steny, who's known by his cronies as "Funkin' White Trash Racist", commented about Michael Steele's political career as "a career of slavishly supporting the Republican Party."

Had Mr. White Trash Racist Steny been a Republican and not a racist bigot Democrat, he would have been rebuked nationwide, most notably by morally deficient Harry Reid of Nevada.

This is the same guy that attacked Republicans non-stop for accepting political donations from Jack Abramoff (because he likes it). When it was exposed that he had accepted $40,000 from Abramoff, he refused to return the donations because it was different. Whatever, Harry. You're a redneck hypocrite.

Today's second Dumass of the Day Award goes to sports announcer, Bryant Gumble. During the 2006 Olympics Gumble stated, "So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world's greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that make the Winter Games look like a GOP convention." Luckily, his quasi-celebrity status protects him.

Mental Yentl

Babs went on a tirade recently. She had some stooge pretending to be a totally inept George W. Bush having a conversation with her on stage. Someone in the crowd yelled out to get back to the singing. She told that person to "shut the f**k up." Yeah, that's lovely. Thanks for being such a classy lady. Would this be why people consider her part of the condescending left?

Monday, October 16, 2006

If you happened to catch the gubernatorial debate on Saturday between Governor Ehrlich and Mayor Martin "I want to be just like Kennedy" O'Malley, you saw an interesting debate.

O'Malley was excellent at delivering his memorized platitudes and sucker-punches. His lack of details and condescending attacks were overshadowed by his pretty smile and his 'golly-gee, I can help you' mannerisms.

Ehrlich, who spent a good portion of his time telling O'Malley to shut the funk up during his own rebuttal time, spent the remaining time trying to redress misleading accusations. O'Malley's fantasy statements were to the effect of, "There are 2 Bob Ehrlich's. One that promises to help children and working families. The other Bob Ehrlich hates children and working middle-class families, unlike me. This is evidenced by the fact that Ehrlich raised tuition 40% and now hard working middle-class families can no longer afford to send their children to college."

Let's diagnose this.

* Bob Ehrlich does not dictate tuition increases. They are determined by the Board of Regents for the respective colleges. Ehrlich 1, Dumass 0.

* According to the Democratic Leadership Council's webpage, they state that the average college tuition in the United States was up 50% over the past 5 years ending in 2006. In other words, O'Malley's Democratic party is actually applauding Ehrlich for keeping the tuition increases below the national average. Ehrlich 2, Dumass 0.

* As mentioned before, O'Malley would not provide the courtesy of allowing Ehrlich free time to speak during his rebuttal. O'Malley continuously interrupted with such invigorating responses such as, "I know you are, but what am I?" and "Anything I say bounces off of me and sticks to you!" Most people, including my liberal wife found this really annoying. Ehrlich 3, Dumass 0.

* O'Malley did not answer one of the questions presented by the MPT moderator, but instead inserted Ehrlich ties to Bush and Enron. Ehrlich responded something like, "Way to go, Marty! You didn't answer the question. Way to accuse me of Enron's problems." Ehrlich 4, Dumass 0.

* O'Malley prided his city school's miserable accomplishments. He pointed out that City College, Poly, and Baltimore City School for the Arts are 3 of the 10 best schools in the state. Read the application process to get into these schools. It reads like a private school. "Are you saying that you have to apply to these schools and the schools can choose to only accept the smartest kids from the pool???!!!" Ehrlich 5, Dumass 0.

Fuel the Fire

I will be attending the Maryland State Teachers Convention in Ocean City this week. It's always a good time. It's amazing how many of them pride themselves with their outspoken liberal leanings. Leanings? Hell, they fell over. I will be wearing an 'Ehrlich / Cox" t-shirt. I friend close to the campaign got this for me. When I asked how much I needed to pay him, he replied, "anyone willing to wear an Ehrlich /Cox t-shirt to the Maryland State Teachers Convention gets a t-shirt on the house." Hoo-rah!

If you would like to volunteer or help out with election day, please visit this site:

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

On October 7th, the State of Maryland awarded the title of Maryland Teacher of the Year to the most deserving and accomplished teacher in the state. However, there is a caveat this year. It is called the Linda Eberhart Rule.

If you have not listened to the radio in the last 8 seconds, Linda Eberhart is a previous winner of the Maryland Teacher of the Year. Yes, this is the name of the teacher who has no freakin' clue as to the pronunciation of the name of our state's Governor. Rumors that she must also be a winner of the city's Almost Qualified to Teach Award are unfounded.

Ms. Eberhart has emphatically, and relentlessly I may add, reminded us that she endorses Martn Amalley. (I'm going to spell how she says it). The state has effectively issued a gag order to all winners preventing them from exploiting their award to endorse political candidates in the future.

Miscellaneous Politics

A judge dropped the criminal charges against Thomas V. Mike Miller alleging that he cold-cocked developer Leo Bruso after a meeting. Charges were dropped for lack of evidence. This goes to prove that you can get away with punching someone, as long as no one saw it and you are a powerful Democrat in the Maryland General Assembly.

Empire of the Sun

There were 2 headlines on Tuesday covering the same topic. The first headline read:

Guess which headline is from the Baltimore Sun and which one is from WBAL.com. This proves that you cannot trust anyone in the press that hasn't endorsed a Republican since Abraham Lincoln.

Google It

On October 9th, the Chicago Tribune reported that Google will purchase Youtube.com for $1.65 billion. On October 11th, Constellation Energy agreed to sell 6 gas-fired power plants for $1.64 billion. Are you telling me that 6 gas-fired power plants that provide electricity for hundreds of thousands of people are worth less than a website that posts videos made by 13 year olds of their friends falling off of trampolines?

The plants sold generate 3,145 megawatts of electricity. On the other hand, youtube's website has millions of hits per day from under-worked Americans who surf the net every day instead of working. Reportedly, some of these Americans work at gas-fired power plants that provide electricity to homes that run computers used to upload video of 13 year olds falling off of trampolines.

Stop the Genocide, and the misrepresentation!

A commercial began airing that shows footage of mutilated Africans. Then the footage pans to a picture of George W. Bush. The ads ends with a message calling for Bush to stop the Genocide now. This, of course, refers to the horrific ethnic cleansing occurring in the Darfur region in Sudan.

The commercial seems to imply that Bush is responsible for the genocide. It makes no reference to the fact that Islamic extremists are killing Black Christians, Animists, and Nubian Black Muslims. This week, the group calling itself Save Darfur, though fighting for a noble cause, gets the Ouy Kcuf Award for its irresponsible ad. We know the United Nations has done little to stop the violence. But this shouldn't be life shattering news.

Let's now relate this to another world event. During the 1990's and early 2000's, it is estimated that Saddam Hussein killed 300,000 Kurds, residents of northern Iraq. Who came to the rescue of these people? We can certainly state unequivocally that the United Nations did not. I think they demanded tough sanctions. Ooo!!!! Please, Braer Fox, not the sanctions! Anything but that! You can throw me into the Briar Patch, but please, Braer Bear, no sanctions!

Kim Jong Yu Ma KIng Me-Il, Part 2

On the Daily Show on Tuesday, Jon Stewart pointed out that in 2003, the world thought that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. The response? The U.S. and its coalition invaded the country and removed the dictator.

On October 8th, North Korea DID explode a nuclear device. How did the world respond? The United Nations said it "strongly condemned" the action, calling it a "grave challenge that violates international norms". The blast was also said to be unacceptable, complicated, and difficult. The corrupt U.N. Secretary General, Kofi Annan and his Security Council, even demanded that the U.S. go talk to North Korea. What?!! Are they afraid to do it themselves?

If I were U.N. Secretary General, not only would I act like Kofi and get my friends and family jobs, and enjoy kick-backs from the Oil-for-Food program, and enjoy the sexual escapades with U.N.'s female staff, then fire them, but I would also tell North Korea to quit with the WMD bullSH*T or we're coming in to kick your A$$!!! Why is that so hard? What's North Korea going to do, stop exporting manufactured goods? Nope - they don't make anything. Stop exporting agricultural products? Nope - they don't grow anything. The only trade in North Korea, according to Stephen Colbert, is the planning of ceremonial parades to honor the dear leader, Kim Jong Il.

But Seriously

On Wednesday, a plane crashed into a New York City high-rise. It was later learned that one of the victims was New York Yankee pitcher, Cory Lidle. Lidle was a husband and a father of a six year old boy. The seriousness of the news was demonstrated by the fact that ESPN interrupted a taped poker game. Additionally, in another demonstrated that the press has as much class as a Saturday afternoon, they were more concerned about being the first to report "the news" and Cory Lidle's father learned of his son's death while watching TV. Doesn't that just piss you off? Cory Lidle, may you rest in peace.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Today's message is a mixed bag. First, the Yankees were eliminated from the playoffs this weekend when they got trounced by the Detroit Tigers. All of a sudden, there were millions of Detroit Tigers fans all over the nation.

The New York press did what it does best, turns accomplishment into failure. Joe Torre has guided the Yankees to the playoffs for 13 straight seasons. His reward? The New York Post is demanding his resignation. His potential replacement? Tampa Bay's old manager, Loui Pinnella. His best accomplishment in the city of Tampa (and for you Baltimore City school graduates, the city's name is Tampa, not Tampa Bay)? His best season there was 21 games under .500. New York - you deserve what you get.

Does anyone remember what the Cleveland Indians did to Mike Hargrove after he led them to their 5th straight division title, but no World Series title? They fired him. Why? Because they wanted that manager that could take them to the next level. Their answer? They promoted the batting coach, Charlie Manuel. He took them to the playoffs once, probably on the momentum that Hargrove had in place. Since then, they have managed to be 12 games, 18 games, 20.5 games, and 22 games out of first. In the city where the river routinely caught on fire in the 60's and 70's, the next level after success must be abysmal failure.

Are His Glasses Half Dorky or Half Nerdy?

North Korea has been playing this game of "I know you are, but what am I" with the its neighbors and the United Nations for several years now. President Bush called them one of members of the Axis of Evil. Kim Jung-il, irritated that no one ever told him that he looks like a 1970's social studies teacher with bad glasses, decided to fulfill his country's image and reportedly detonated a nuclear device. There have been no official reports to confirm or deny this report.

In response, President Bush has announced that any attack on South Korea or Japan is to be considered an attack on the United States. There is no word on how the U.S. would respond to a North Korean attack on China. Most predict absolute laughter.

You Say Tomatos, I Say F-off

Bob Ehrlich, proving that he doesn't always know when to keep his mouth shut, stated that he is not sure if he would have nominated Lt. Governor candidate Kris Cox if she was not blind.

To make matters worse, Martin O'Malley immediately issued a press release that Ehrlich "questioned the qualifications of his pick for lieutenant governor and implied that she was chosen because she is blind."

In related news, there is a rumor that Martin O'Malley said something to the effect that he loves having sex with multiple women, once danced naked on a table top at The Hippo, and has not used heroine in over 5 months. No one at his campaign headquarters reponded to my request for a comment before publishing this post. Granted, I gave them 10 seconds to respond after I left a message. But that's not the point. The point is that they are not taking these accusations seriously.

Minority Report

The Democrats claim to be the party of the African Americans. That's why the first African American elected to a higher office in the state is Michael Steele, a Republican. Trying to keep pace, Martin "It's all shades of white and brown to me" O'Malley nominated Anthony Brown to be his running mate. I think it was quite clever to nominate someone with the last name of Brown. That ought to get some of the African-American vote. However, Anthony Brown is not African-American. His father is from Jamaica. He immigrated to American to attend Fordham University. His mother is from Switzerland. Look on the cover of a box of Swiss Miss. That is what someone from Switzerland looks like. Anthony Brown is about as African-American as Parris Glendening is a Marylander. It just ain't so!

In Summary...That's all folks. Post a comment to my blog. I would like to read what you are thinking. And don't forget to order a "Vote NO'Malley bumper sticker". Email votenomalley@hotmail.com to get yours today!!!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

This is the message that the Democrats ruling the State Senate, House of Delegates, our U.S. Senators, and our U.S. Congressman of Maryland are sending to businesses. They are not interested in "Big Businesses" coming to the state because they are evil and greedy.

A report released by the Maryland Business for Responsive Government ranked our elected officials based on their voting records on legislation that affected business.

The Short of It Is...Our beloved Barbara Mikulski, who was once asked to portray Bilbo Baggins' mother, received a whopping rating of 17%. For those of you who went to city public schools, that's not a good number.

The retiring Senator Paul Sarbanes received a 14% rating. He got more than 85% of his political donations from outside of the state, I guess because he was not able to generate money from in this state. I wonder why.

Republican Wayne Gilchrest, received a rating of 80%, while western Maryland Republican Roscoe Bartlett received an 85%. That's the good news about Roscoe Bartlett. When he originally ran and won his office 7 elections ago, he promised term-limitations. How ironic!

What's worse for the state of Maryland is that it ranked 46th out of 50 (again, for those who went to city public schools, there are 50 states in the United States). The only states we beat out were Hawaii (their only export being Magnum P.I. repeats), Rhode Island, Vermont (yes, I forgot that Vermont was still a state, too!), and the Peoples Socialist Republic of Massachusetts.

What our elected officials forget is that most of us work for businesses. Everyone who works for a homeless person or a poor person, please stand up.

The ironic part is that these candidates love their business money. The top money grabbers? Ben Cardin and Steny Hoyer.

Hippos and HypocritesBen Cardin is currently criticizing Michael Steele for his ad promise to get rid of campaign gifts and reduce political donations. Cardin says that Steele is being a hypocrite for accepting money and then stating that Congress should not get the money.

Hello Ben! There is a message for you at the Office of Obvious. It says that if he does not accept this money, he cannot beat you.

It is time for you to collect some more campaign money. Try collecting at the Hippo. Or its cross-town rival, the Rhino.

The following limerick is purely fictional and there are no records to prove that it actually happened. Until proven otherwise, this is for entertainment purposes only.

I once knew a girl, who went to Nantucket,She walked around with her head in a bucket.Dragging her toes in the white sand,Skipping along with her beau in her hand.When they came across some clothes and a sandal,Could it be a political scandal?Martin O’Malley, awash in the nude,Rubbing the back of some naked dude.A day trip from an overnight cruise?Certainly not that girl from the news.Oh, well. I guess we were wrong,So now he sings a different song.

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About Me

This blog is a satire. None of the things that appear to be false are true. Most of the facts are correct. Many of the opinions are mine. None of the opinions or false statements are to be taken seriously.