Bigot discovers posting letter in Muslim woman two days faster than First Class

A bigot from Southend On Sea in Essex has discovered that posting a letter in a burka-clad Muslim woman is actually two days faster than First Class.

Roger Fuch-Weet jokingly inserted an envelope containing a £50 cheque for Britain First’s latest legal fee fundraiser into the face of 31-year-old Shahida Khan on Wednesday morning outside Sports Direct in the High Street, and he was shocked to discover that it arrived on the next working day.

According to witnesses, he was even more shocked to discover that the contents arrived intact as well.

A spokesperson for Royal Mail said, ‘To be fair, we’re not surprised by this.’

‘He could have lobbed it at the nearest fornicating pigeon and it would have still beaten our logistical network.’

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