To get a real sense of the NBER’s surprise announcement, Political Fallout turned to the Caped Crusaders for their reactions to the breaking news that we are officially in a recession:

Robin: Holy falling stock market indexes, Batman! Did you hear we’re in a recession? Whatever will we do?

Batman: No worries, Robin. This is no time to panic. Besides, I have my trusty multi-billion dollar bailout lever to help protect the Bruce Wayne fortune.

Robin: I hope you didn’t put all of your eggs into one basket and had enough sense to diversify your portfolio.

Batman: Clever pun, Robin. But you really should leave the puns to the wordsmiths and keep focused on fighting green-collar crimes.

Robin: You’re right, Batman. It’s just that this whole recession thing has me worried that our investments will ebb while crime flows at an unprecedented rate. This puts a damper on my retirement plans.

Batman: That’s no excuse for taking liberties with our language, Robin. It may help to know that while we have been simultaneously protecting the citizens of Gotham, I’ve managed to exploit the local economy by outsourcing “good” to other communities in exchange for stock options in “evil.”