When I walked outside of the house I noticed one peculiar little thing. It was snowing! There was already some significant accumulation on the ground and flakes were still aggressively floating to the ground. I sighed. I was hoping that Mother Nature would have settled down but no such luck.

I’m a little groggier entering the classroom today than I was yesterday. But I soon become filled with happiness a the class commences. Today, was again filled with incredible talks and discussions. We learned about forgiveness. It’s a great concept. The 17 minutes of meditation we got both days helped us all get refreshed and refocused. I’m going to incorporate this into my daily life.

Class ended at 3:45pm. I thought I’d have time to go home and get some sleep before going to work at 11pm. Well, I found out I have to work at 5pm to 3am. Yes, I was shocked and dismayed. A little bit of me died on the inside at the thought of not getting any rest, but I persevered.

The meditation over the past two days really did help.

By the time I exited the DAHLC all the snow was gone. Now that I can excited about.

I want to create a course for the schools around resiliency, starting with meditation. I’m in a good position to do so. I’m going to have to adapt it though and strip out anything which may be interpreted as religious.

Last week the temperature was in the 60’s. Today (and for the next week) the temp is in the mid to low 30’s. Yeah, super fun. It’s to be expected this time of year, but geez Louise, I want Spring!

Today was the first of two days of Dr. Amit Sood’s Transform class. I’m really excited about the program. All of it will help me become better at what I need to do for social bridging. The class runs from 8am to 5pm. I arrive at the Dan Abraham Healthy Living Center at proceed to the 6th floor where the class is located. I can’t describe how nice the whole place is. It’s flippin’ gorgeous, soothing and pretty comfortable. I could get used to being in this environment.

My classmates are an eclectic bunch of people from across the US and Canada representing a variety of professions and stages of life. There’s even one 1st generation Dutch-Canadian in the group. We learned about neuroscience, and a high-level overview of the brain operates. Fascinating stuff.

The class ended early at 3:30pm. This gave me time to spend about an hour on the 7th floor atrium which is the entire floor. I stepped outside onto the patio for a bit before retreating to the inside where I sat on in a really comfy lounge chair next to a plant wall.

At 10:30 I had a meeting with Joyce Balls-Berry at Bravo Espresso. Before she arrived I had a bowl of delicious wild rice soup from Salad Brothers. It’s been awhile since I’ve had their soup. It gets better everytime. Either that or I’m a little delusional. I’m ok either way.

When Joyce arrived we caught each other up on our goings on. We soon dived into discussion about the non-profit I want I start around ACE’s. We discussed possible programming, resources, partners and our legal structure. Are we just going to be a non-profit or will we be tied to a for-profit. Will the for profit be an LLC or an “S” Corp. What about social enterprise run by the non-profit? There’s a lot of research that needs to be done to answer these questions.

Joy asked a really great question. She asked if this is what I really want to do. Joy brings up a great point. I’ve been trying to narrow down my niche for awhile. I’ve been flighty. That and my approach to it all has been haphazard at best. I do really want to do this. I must.

After the meeting with Joy I went to Francisco’s Cuban Cafe. My god their food is delicious. I need to go there more than once per month. I stayed in the dining area for a couple of hours staring out the window.

Afterwards, food in mom in hand, I went home. I was home early, but I had things to do.

We laid a friend to rest today. Bobby Driscoll, or as his friend called him Bobby D, passed away last Thursday. Today he was buried. This is the 2nd time we saw him in 3 months. The last time was a Sunday in December when we went to his benefit.

The service was beautiful. At the service and funeral there were a lot of big tough guys with bloodshot and watery eyes. While it was just Fikret and I from Med City Taxi, the expansive church was nearly filled with friends, family and colleagues of Bobby’s. He was certainly a man with faults. But he was a good man who was fiercely loyal to his friends.

After the burial Fikret and I ate at Wild Bill’s Sports Saloon. We reminisced about our dear departed friend and co-worker. He touched many lives and will be missed. Goodnight, bud, we’ll see you again someday.

When we were done consuming lunch, Fikret dropped me off at Corporate Web Services (CWS) for the TEDxZumbroRiver marketing & social media meeting. We came up with a plan that’ll hopefully generate a bunch of ticket sales. The May 5th event is going to be incredible.

Around 5:30pm I had dinner with Kerk at Dooley’s. I was a little apprehensive since it was the first time in almost 2 years I’ve seen him. I admittedly get a little antsy when I saw him. Afterall, he’s been “busy” for all this time yet he’s been going out a bunch with his friends. I got a little annoyed when he said he needed some “Will time” and that we shouldn’t wait 6 months next time.I think I’ve become indifferent.

As of tomorrow evening I will have been back from New York City for 3 weeks. I made so many plans to start getting back on track but so far I have accomplished nothing I have to do. I’ve only been to the gym once, I haven’t nailed down my diet yet, and I still take cabs too much. My plans to read, study programming, and develop plans for the for and non-profits haven’t even started yet.

On a positive note, I cooked a head a bunch and have food in the freeze, I’ve de-cluttered the office some and my bedroom is fairly organized. I’ve accomplished a bunch of busy work but nothing that I would say really moved me forward.

And I’m getting the paperwork for Easter Seals together. I’ve also had time to reflect. But I need to put those reflections into action. Part of the problem is that I’ve lived a very disorganized and inefficient lifestyle. Heck my entire family is that way. And it is what it is. We also have no idea how to really succeed. We were never taught that. However, if I want to escape my situation and bit elevate myself and my family then I need to learn how to succeed and be efficient.

Ironically if given a plan I can succeed. The steps are laid out and I can make things work. Take school for example, we were given a plan for the year, we knew what we had to do. At least the milestones. We didn’t always know exactly the specifics of what we had to do, we had to figure out a bunch on our own and ask questions. But we had a plan. I don’t have a plan for my life. But I need to make one. I need to realize that while I can accomplish everything that I want, I can’t do it all at once.

What am i going to do? There are things I need to do daily. These are the goals that generally take a long time to accomplish; it can take months or years. Fat loss & getting fit, learning more about WordPress & Social Media, launching Med City Social Media, becoming learned, and learning Spanish would be longer term projects with daily tasks. Even posting on the Will’s Weigh blog must be done consistently.

But there are items that can be done later, or as time permits (but still must be done so I need to use my time wisely). These items could be learning to program, developing concept models, decluttering my office (although I should a couple of things ASAP), and revamping the Will’s Weigh Blog.

How am i going to do it? As I mentioned there are things I need to do everyday. They are:

Move

Ideally I want to do Crossfit 4x per week, swim, bike, and kettle bells

But for now I want to build up to going to the YMCA 6 days per week, along with yoga once or twice per week and some KB work

Eat “right”

I need to pay attention to what I have in the house, both cooked, dry and frozen (not cooked yet)

I’ll need to meal plan

I’ll need to spend a day a week cooking

Post for Will’s Weigh

I should be able to post daily.

My posts don’t have to be terribly long. They can just be DIL posts or my thoughts on a subject or an event.

Keep track of weight, mug shots, and other items

I’ll use EverNote, Pocket, and Feedly to collect items.

Look for sites/blogs to follow

Read

50 to 100 pages per day from the book list.

Take notes

Don’t be afraid to highlight

Study social media & WordPress

Lots of stuff from Udemy, Lynda, YouTube

Take notes. Develop an overall plan

I’m not going to be able to launch MCSM until I get a job

Study Spanish

It should just take an hour a day or so

Use both Rosetta Stone and Duolingo

Straighten up/chores

Straighten up as I go along

Just don’t leave anything on the floor

Put things away as I don’t need them

The office will take a long time. I need to be ok with that. But..

Filing cabinet should be done ASAP

Work on notes daily

Self-sufficiency

Review PDP, Learning List, Task list daily

And then there are the items that come up from day to day. I can do this. I just need to be smart about the process.

Being organized and planning ahead is also going to be important. I’m going to have to think through my day a day or two ahead of time. I want to save time and money and not always be living by the skin of my teeth. It’s going to take sacrifice but the results will be worth the effort.

My mind was lost in thought the past couple of days wondering what I’m going to do. While I have those degrees I still feel I haven’t accomplished anything. It may be weird to say but I don’t feel I’ve done what I needed to do to move my life forward.

When I went to Steam today I spoke with that one women (I forget her name) who owns Soupology. I spoke with her about te reunion and why I didn’t go. She understood. Although she wa the class President she’s never gone to hers either. We discussed my place in life, obesity, not really connecting with my classmates in the first place and not being in touch all these years.

It rained a bunch today. Actually it hailed. And it was awesome. I took a small nap. I felt alive today. It’s really the first time since I’ve been on vacation that I’ve felt alert. I can’t believe it’s taken 3.5 weeks to recover.

To be completely honest I’m a little bitter. Maybe a lot. I’m glad my former classmates had a good time. I’m really more disappointed in myself. I’m thinking about where I am in life right now and realizing that my best skills is making poor life choices. Apparently I do that the best.

I have 2 Master’s degrees and a teaching license. But I have a lack of useful skills and experience. I’ve self-isolated myself due to fear, health issues, not driving, insecurities and horrible finances. I’d like to live a nice, rewarding life. But I have no idea how to turn this around.

In a much earlier post I discussed people moving on with their lives while I stay here. My former classmates have lived their lives and I’ve been stuck in a rut since I was 18. I’m at a loss for what to do. I need to work on not underestimating myself.

I slept a good chunk of the day today in preparation for working from 5pm to 3am. I’ve been doing this since the end of December. I’ll be glad to have those 3 weekend off in August. It’s going to feel great.

During the downtime at work I found myself checking Facebook constantly and looking at the reunion pictures. I obviously want to be there.

Work was slow until 12:30 and then it was balls to the wall busy. While I’m grateful for the work I’m saddened that after all this time and effort this is what I’m doing.

The John Marshall Class of 1990, 25th Year Reunion is this weekend. It starts tonight. And I’m not going to go. Five years ago when I went to my 20th Year Reunion it was extremely cathartic and needed. But the reunion was still lonely.

It’s not that I don’t like them. I just don’t know them. I haven’t been in touch with these people with the exception of a little Facebook time. Unfortunately there isn’t a connection there due to a lack of shared memories.

I went to City Market to buy a sandwich. On the way there I ironically helped out with one of our reunion events. I stayed at Cafe Steam well into the time the reunion was going on at Kathy’s Pub ~ just 50 feet away.

I have a need for connection. I’m just not sure how I’m going to get it.

Thanks for visiting www.willsweigh.com. This site will chronicle how I improve myself and hopefully become the best version of me. Everything you might want to know is in the blog. Have fun reading it!