Ugh, "Knee Lifts" Are a Thing Now

Have you ever noticed that many 40-and-over female celebrities only age in their limbs? (One good example I always notice: Sarah Jessica Parker's, um, mature hands.) Well, apparently "knee lifts" are the latest bullsh*t thing we're supposed to get ourselves into a tizzy over. Um, I mean the latest very important thing we're supposed to care about, because aging is the worst thing to ever happen to human women! We're croning! We're all croning right now! Is what I meant.

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Demi Moore reportedly underwent a knee lift in 2006 to reduce the loss of elastic fibers, collagen, and muscle mass that occurs as we age — or, in layman's terms, old-lady-with-Werthers-candy-in-a-bowl-on-her-coffee-table saggy skin. (I prefer my mother's decision to actually pinch together the flab around her elbow and make it talk, which is a lot more charming than it sounds, I swear.)

"Regardless of how young your face looks, the knee is a telltale sign of true age," says Dr. Michael Diaz, a board certified plastic surgeon based out of Melbourne, FL. "The wrinkles on your knees act as tree rings on the trunk of a tree." However, scars are more difficult to hide around the knees than most other areas because it bends taught and relaxes smooth. Think about how difficult it is to keep a band-aid on your knee properly.

For those of us who are sane unwilling to go under the knife to get the slack skin of our knees, Dr. Diaz recommends regularly exfoliating, moisturizing and even targeting the often-overlooked area for a massage will help you ensure that your knees don't age before you. On the other hand, if knee lifts make you happy, it can't be that bad, according to Shania Twain and also science.

Personally, I have never been aware of my my knees in my entire life except maybe when I'm on them. AM I RIGHT, LADIES? AM I RIGHT, LADIES? AM I--*falls off cliff.*

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