]]>https://malthousemedia.wordpress.com/2017/08/12/thatll-do-nicely/feed/0themalthouseGeometry of Lifehttps://malthousemedia.wordpress.com/2017/08/09/geometry-of-life/
https://malthousemedia.wordpress.com/2017/08/09/geometry-of-life/#respondWed, 09 Aug 2017 21:12:06 +0000http://malthousemedia.wordpress.com/?p=632Continue reading →]]>Matthew was a bit of a square but he was besotted with Crystal and all her facets. She was a true diamond. Bright and beautiful, she was always straight with him. They’d met at a Circus – she was a member of “E”, the famous Trapezium troupe. Flying aloft with the greatest of E’s, she looked so cube in her skimpy costume; he just had to tell her how much he’d enjoyed the show. It was love at first sight. Smitten, he told her she had an acute angle. One thing led to another and they ended up having a passionate rhombus behind the marquee… they declared their mutual undying love – and then she and the circus moved on. He was a complete rectangle… to have found his life’s love and then lost her was truly devastating. But then just four days later a parallelogram arrived: ‘Leaving circus. Want to be with you. Meet me at Arrow Junction’ Tessellated, he immediately set off to fetch her. In his haste however he took a wrong turn and ended up somewhere less than or not equal to good.

As the familiar straight and narrow planes faded, Matthew started to feel edgy. Suddenly he was forced to stop, delimited by a well-rounded street gang. “Give us the sine!”, they derived, “or give us a disk!” “But… I’m not an element of your set, and I don’t have a disk” Matthew replied spherefully, “I only have notes”. Convexed by his attitude, the gang formed a circumcircle around him. A figure shifted forward, he looked mean. He oscillated his knife then lunged. Matthew leapt to one side, but not fast enough and the knife struck his corner. Badly chipped, he gasped raggedly and fell to the ground.

As he watched the character smile and advance towards him, he knew he was a polygoner. Then, seemingly from nowhere, Crystal appeared and pivoted into action. Performing a major arc, she struck the figure a flattening blow and stood facing the set. They could see she was harder than any integer of their group, and so with a sullen wave the gang melted away.

]]>https://malthousemedia.wordpress.com/2017/07/24/little-ball-of-joy-2/feed/0themalthouseLove Bites and Barbecueshttps://malthousemedia.wordpress.com/2017/07/23/604/
https://malthousemedia.wordpress.com/2017/07/23/604/#commentsSun, 23 Jul 2017 20:46:08 +0000http://malthousemedia.wordpress.com/?p=604Continue reading →]]>Jonathan stood outside the big house, set back at the end of a secluded tree lined avenue. Inside the bell rang, deep and sonorous, and Jarvis the family butler answered the door.

‘You rang Sir?’

‘Oh! Am I at the right house for Amy Previm?’

Jonathan was somewhat taken aback. He knew Ames was a classy bird but he didn’t think for a moment she was this posh. They’d met at Rumours, the nightclub on Bewdlow high street the night before and they’d hit it off straight away. She was gorgeous, bright and very funny; everything Jonathan looked for in a girl. Most of all she seemed to be smitten with him too and Jonathan couldn’t believe his luck.

All too soon the evening had gone. He remembered asking her for her phone number and her whispering mischievously in his ear, and then the taxi home to Jonathan’s studio flat with Amy snuggled up beside him. He’d gone to the kitchen to make coffee for them both, and was thrilled when instead of finding her on the sofa where he’d left her, she’d appeared naked at the gallery bannister beside his bed. She was such an enthusiastic lover. In the throes of ecstasy, he’d been bitten, scratched and completely ravaged. And he’d loved every second of it. And then, late morning, after a brunch of orange juice and a bacon sandwich, she’d left having first invited him to her home where they were having a family barbecue that evening.

‘Be sure you come Jonathan! I’m relying on you!’ she’d said as she smiled and walked out of the door.

‘I’ll be there don’t you worry!’, he assured her, then stood watching her walk down the street. Somehow seeming to know he was still looking, she turned briefly, blew him a kiss, lifted her skirt and mooned him. He laughed and shook his head. Crazy girl!

Having showered, he stood by the mirror and shaved, and couldn’t help but chuckle once more as he found scratches and teeth marks in the most outrageous places on his body. What a woman!

‘Do come through Sir, Miss Amy is expecting you’, Jarvis took his coat and led him across the plush entrance hall and through double doors to the back garden. Amy was standing with a small group of people, behind them a huge black dog played with a large bone. They were clustered around an impossibly large brick barbecue, from whose glowing coals occasional crackles and sparks flew.

‘Jonathan! You came!’, and she hurried across to plant a kiss firmly on his lips.

Jonathan was introduced to Amy’s parents; her father, Alexandru, was a member of East European aristocracy and her mother Adriana, a Harley Street Haematologist. Then, disconcertingly, Amy’s 11 year old sister Alina had said hello and smiled at him in a strange, almost sexual way. The whole family gathered around as he was finally introduced to Aurelia, Amy’s surprisingly spritely 90 years old gran.

‘I’m very pleased to meet you Mrs. Previm’.

‘I’m pleased to meet you too’, she smiled, a pair of long canine teeth appearing behind thin pallid lips. She looked past him towards Amy.

‘My granddaughter said we were having someone for dinner. I was wondering when the meat course would arrive’.