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Author
Topic: i really dont need this now ! (Read 13071 times)

Ok am pissed and very angry,need to vent it out,i have had enough of the same issue,i have'nt been able to sleep properly for the past 5 days.2 weeks ago i ended up in a sex club,i met one guy and we did it bareback (he was the insertive and he came insdie). i for sure was worried later on but whats done was done.Now,2 weeks later i am sweating excessively especially at night where i had to dry up and go to bed again and so on-kind of reminded me of when i first seroconverted but this one is less sever.i have no fever,no fatigue,no swollen glands,no discahrges....etc.

can someone tell me whats that all about ?,Hep or Re-Infection ?, (thats what am most worried about,as i did get some blood down there when we were finished ) .

i would really like to hear some positive feedback about the possibilies i could be facing,lets not get into safe sex education please.

You do indeed need to test for all STIs including hep B and C. That's the chance you take when you eschew condom usage with strangers. You don't want that lecture, but tough, that's how it goes.

If you're in the first year or so of your hiv infection, it could indeed be reinfection as well. If your hiv infection is more established, reinfection is unlikely.

You really need to wise up and start using condoms with people you hook up with in sex clubs.

Oh, and furthermore, if you didn't bother to tell this guy your status, then you are helping to perpetuate the stereotype we face where people assume that we don't give a damn who we infect. He, as a top, is not immune to your virus. Let's hope you didn't pass it on to him.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hepatitis B (HBV) is the big issue here. HBV testing can be quite complicated, particularly in HIV positive people, and you should talk to your service provider about the details.

What I can tell you is that the window period (aka the equivalence period) for HBV is anywhere between 45 days and 160 days with the average sitting at about 100 days - though that can be longer in HIV positive folk.

They may only want to request HBV surface antigen and antibody tests. You should insist they request HBV core antigen and antibody assays too.

Whilst I'm about the matter you should also request a syphilis serology. The window period for syphilis is around 3 months as well. Be sure they order both a TPHA and an RPR test at the appropriate time.

By the way, Sen, if you're hbv negative, you should talk to your doctor about getting vaccinated. Anyone who is hiv positive should be vaccinated against hbv, particularly if you have the odd lapse of reason and go barebacking in sex clubs.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Ok am pissed and very angry,need to vent it out,i have had enough of the same issue,i have'nt been able to sleep properly for the past 5 days.2 weeks ago i ended up in a sex club,i met one guy and we did it bareback

Besides all the feedback you are getting about having to be screened for STDs,

you could have caught a flu.

You could be having a psychosomatic expression of your ambivalence about your sex choices. Reading between the lines of your post, that's the vibe I get. Conflict between desires and actions versus security and peace of mind.

"Am I infected" threads are mostly this sort of thing, so why should HIV+ people be exempt.

I know HIV+ c*m dumps and serial hard fisters and etc etc and some of them are perfectly at ease with their choices and most of them accept accountability for the risks and some of them check on schedule for STDs and some don't.

Logged

ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Re: informing the other guy, I really don't think anyone who goes around bareback f****** in a sex club in this day and age, whether top or bottom, needs any warnings about possible HIV infection. It kinda goes without saying, dontcha think?

Re: informing the other guy, I really don't think anyone who goes around bareback f****** in a sex club in this day and age, whether top or bottom, needs any warnings about possible HIV infection. It kinda goes without saying, dontcha think?

When I spoke of informing the guy, I meant before they barebacked. It's one thing to not disclose your status if you're using condoms, but it just isn't right to not disclose if you're going to bareback - undetectable bottom or not.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

When I spoke of informing the guy, I meant before they barebacked. It's one thing to not disclose your status if you're using condoms, but it just isn't right to not disclose if you're going to bareback - undetectable bottom or not.

Yes, that would make more sense (although the guy could also have asked if he was concerned). I think Matty had said something about informing the guy now, after the fact. I'm all for disclosure but it should be very obvious to all and sundry that if you bareback at all with strangers, let alone at a sex club, you are possibly going to get any number of STDs, including HIV.

Yes, that would make more sense (although the guy could also have asked if he was concerned). I think Matty had said something about informing the guy now, after the fact. I'm all for disclosure but it should be very obvious to all and sundry that if you bareback at all with strangers, let alone at a sex club, you are possibly going to get any number of STDs, including HIV.

You'd think it would be obvious, but going by what I've read on this forum and other web sites, there are some hiv negative people who seem to be of the mindset that if a person doesn't mention hiv or want to bother with condoms, then they must be be negative too.

Personally, I just couldn't bareback with someone who was not aware of my hiv status. No matter how drunk or whatever. The desire to not infect someone else is just too strong in me. And the fact that I have no problem with disclosure probably helps too.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

If you find yourself with syphilis, be aware the "usual dose" of penicillin may not be enough to take care of it. HIV and Syphilis go together like turkey and gravy.

It may take multiple shots and, if it goes too long without resolving, standard of care is to have a lumbar puncture to ascertain whether syphilis has infiltrated the central nervous system. No, I am not talking years here. HIV helps syphilis do its thing much more quickly. I have known people who developed neurosyphilis within a year.

If the lumbar puncture reveals the presence of syphilis in the spinal fluid, it would mean a week of hospital food and IV antibiotics.

Yes, that would make more sense (although the guy could also have asked if he was concerned). I think Matty had said something about informing the guy now, after the fact. I'm all for disclosure but it should be very obvious to all and sundry that if you bareback at all with strangers, let alone at a sex club, you are possibly going to get any number of STDs, including HIV.

You think? What I said is like 10 posts up:

You should also be aware that the guy who fucked you is at risk of HIV infection. True, it's his responsibility, but if you know who he is you might wanna mention it to him.

sensual1973, I hate stating the obvious but considering your infamous "he licked the cum !!!" thread from just 3 weeks ago and considering that you've been diagnosed now since 2001 you really need to be a bit more up to date on these things if you're going to be so sexually active. I never judge others on the amount of sex they have, as I'm totally pro-raunch, but there are ways to go about these things in a wise manner. And IIRC you don't live in some filthy backwater Highlands district but you do live in London.

I'm going to go out on a limb and ask if a lot of this has to do with a now decades old discomfort of disclosing status before engaging in sex. It's one thing to have that issue during your first year or so, but like I said you should be more comfortable with the situation. I guess that's what concerns me more than anything, is the mental aspect I'm detecting. The other stuff that has physical ramification can be (generally) sorted out with proper medical care. The other stuff involves a lot more work on your part.

Um, If the swiss say undetectable = not transmissable. What would be the risk of HIV transmission from the bottom - sensual - to the top in this case. I guess not 0 but extremely extremely unlikely? Isn't the basic problem here other possible STDs?

Logged

ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

sensual1973, I hate stating the obvious but considering your infamous "he licked the cum !!!" thread from just 3 weeks ago and considering that you've been diagnosed now since 2001 you really need to be a bit more up to date on these things if you're going to be so sexually active.

Damn, I missed that. Never for a minute thought it was the same person.

Um, If the swiss say undetectable = not transmissable. What would be the risk of HIV transmission from the bottom - sensual - to the top in this case. I guess not 0 but extremely extremely unlikely? Isn't the basic problem here other possible STDs?

The Swiss study did not include anal intercourse. Regardless, it's only polite to disclose to a sex partner that you have a terminal, sexually transmitted infection before you bareback.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I agree with Matty and Ann. Its a question of integrity and reaping what you sow. That's why I read your post differently above and recommended while an STD check is in order, that's mechanics. Bigger question lies elsewhere.

Logged

ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

You'd think it would be obvious, but going by what I've read on this forum and other web sites, there are some hiv negative people who seem to be of the mindset that if a person doesn't mention hiv or want to bother with condoms, then they must be be negative too.

I don't know what you expected here. When one of us disregards our responsibility to protect the people we fuck, that person is responsible for the times the general public paints us as pariahs who don't give a shit who we infect. That's the way it is, deal with it.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Sensual, there have been studies done in NYC, etc. where what you state doesn't hold water. The pozzies assume fellow barebackers are also poz, but the neggie barebackers all assume that fellow barebackers are also neg, because they think any diagnosed pozzie would never have sex without a condom and endanger someone else's infection status.

That's how the world works and if you've lived in London for as long as you have you should probably already know this. I assume that you're not 18.

So here's the deal -- if the idea of disclosing in a sex club situation unnerves you then you just insist on using a condom. If you can't handle having sex with latex and have to do bareback to get off, then since you live in London you should have no difficulty locating other like minded gay poz men. Frankly you're being incredibly lazy and cavalier and I rather doubt that this is the first time.

I was just reading (reading too much) how an STD could cause our HIV to "flare out of control". That is scary to me. I also read so much conflicting info on the super-infection. Many experts say usually only happens to recently infected people. Others say it can happen at any time.

I think your behavoir is outragoeus and disgraceful you and anyone hiv pos has a duty to mankind and society to try and stop the spread of this virus i just cant believe anybody could be so immature and irresponsible .

I think your behavoir is outragoeus and disgraceful you and anyone hiv pos has a duty to mankind and society to try and stop the spread of this virus i just cant believe anybody could be so immature and irresponsible .

WTF? Yikes! Let he who is without sin cast the first stone! WWJD?

In my life experience, especially since becoming poz, I have learned that these kinds of statements come from within us because it's a "hard look in the mirror" that we've never taken to ourselves. I'm guilty of it too - sometimes I notice when I'm being a "harsh critic" of someone else, it's usually some element of my own behavior or circumstances within me that I'm "not quite right with" that is motivating that sentiment.

Tommy, look, even though Sensual doesn't fit "your picture" of moral character, it would be much more productive if you were willing to teach him a different way - rather then just toss out your judgment, throw your hands in the air and walk off...which is what you've done.

Just because you've accepted your "duty" to stop the spread of HIV doesn't mean everyone has. The "duty" didn't come packaged with the virus upon infection, it's something we develop. Let's face it, some people become HIV infected through actions of self-loathing -- so, why would you think the virus would give a sudden "spike of caring" in us for mankind? We're all in a different place -- so, do your duty to help show others the benefits of letting this virus stop with you instead of making others feel "less than" yourself because they haven't yet embraced YOUR "moral code."

« Last Edit: February 20, 2010, 04:47:00 PM by sdguyloveslife »

Logged

Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.

I think your behavoir is outragoeus and disgraceful you and anyone hiv pos has a duty to mankind and society to try and stop the spread of this virus i just cant believe anybody could be so immature and irresponsible .

I can totally see where you're coming from on this. However, I think anyone going to a sex club or meeting someone on manhunt or craigslist has to assume everyone is HIV+. If someone is sticking their butt up to a glory hole, they must assume the guy sticking their junk through the hole is poz and that you may very well end up poz.

Having said that, I know many young gay people who are naive and don't know enough about HIV. I've known very young gay guys who felt pressured to have bb sex and weren't assertive about safety like an older person may be. At 18, they just don't realize the consequences. So, you're right that we should either tell our status or play protected at the very least. I know when I was 17, 18, and even 20, I felt someone with HIV would tell me if they knew. Or, I thought I could tell they had it. I know at that age I thought all people with HIV were very thin and sick looking. I thought it took years before an HIV+ person could pass the virus. How ignorant I was. This is why schools need to talk about HIV more. I don't think it was ever discussed when I was in school. We learned about pregnancy, but not HIV even once. That may have changed, but from what I've read, it is still about the same. This is why parents need to talk about it.

I know when I was 17, 18, and even 20, I felt someone with HIV would tell me if they knew. Or, I thought I could tell they had it. I know at that age I thought all people with HIV were very thin and sick looking.

You'd be surprised how many people think this way. And it's not just younger people either. We see this mindset all the time in the Am I forum. ALL THE TIME.

Here's some common comments over there:

He/she LOOKED CLEAN.

He/she LOOKED HEALTHY.

He/she would have TOLD ME if he/she had hiv.

And you see it all the time on hook-up sites. DDF, UB2. People who put stuff like that on their profiles think they've covered their bases and I rather doubt they bother to enquire further. And how many of them only THINK they're hiv free?

Recently, someone responded to one of Peter Staley's blogs with these words of wisdom:

This works for poz people as well as neg people. You don't necessarily have to disclose in these anonymous situations, but you DO have to use condoms. Condom usage when you don't know the other person's hiv status is NON-NEGOTIABLE.

Sen, I know you stated in your first post that you didn't want the safer sex lecture, but it goes hand in hand with the subject matter. I don't understand how you thought it could be avoided. It's like ignoring the elephant in the middle of the room while standing smack dab in the middle of the elephant's manure.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I think your behavoir is outragoeus and disgraceful you and anyone hiv pos has a duty to mankind and society to try and stop the spread of this virus i just cant believe anybody could be so immature and irresponsible .

if you have nothing good to say then dont instead of praising yourself and sounding like an id**t,you obviously are not contributing to my main question rather than advertising you moral codes which you should keep for yourself,and i dont want YOU to tell ME how to behave/think.

if you have nothing good to say then dont instead of praising yourself and sounding like an id**t,you obviously are not contributing to my main question rather than advertising you moral codes which you should keep for yourself,and i dont want YOU to tell ME how to behave/think.

Im not praising myself merely stating my opinion which i stand by 100% wether you like it or not the truth hurts sometimes.

You'd be surprised how many people think this way. And it's not just younger people either. We see this mindset all the time in the Am I forum. ALL THE TIME.

Here's some common comments over there:

He/she LOOKED CLEAN.

He/she LOOKED HEALTHY.

He/she would have TOLD ME if he/she had hiv.

And you see it all the time on hook-up sites. DDF, UB2. People who put stuff like that on their profiles think they've covered their bases and I rather doubt they bother to enquire further. And how many of them only THINK they're hiv free?

Recently, someone responded to one of Peter Staley's blogs with these words of wisdom:

This works for poz people as well as neg people. You don't necessarily have to disclose in these anonymous situations, but you DO have to use condoms. Condom usage when you don't know the other person's hiv status is NON-NEGOTIABLE.

Sen, I know you stated in your first post that you didn't want the safer sex lecture, but it goes hand in hand with the subject matter. I don't understand how you thought it could be avoided. It's like ignoring the elephant in the middle of the room while standing smack dab in the middle of the elephant's manure.

These are not words of wisdom if it only specifies that people should not be bottoming raw. Topping raw can still get you HIV, especially if there are other STDs in the mix such as herpes. I got HIV from a "total top," (my ex-partner) who happened to be screwing raw on the side with highly promiscuous bottoms, which is how he got it. He, as a top, also thought he was immune, which is how he got it and gave it to me, thank you very much. We had an open relationship as far as sex on the side but not as far as condom-less sex on the side. I feel like a total idiot for thinking that the raw sex he and I were having was "special." To quote Plan 9 From Outer Space, "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

One of several reasons I assumed he would not have HIV was the fact that he was a total top. I was also not aware he was screwing raw so indiscriminately. This mentality that tops don't get HIV or are unlikely to get it is bullshit, a lesson I learned the hard way. Who do you think "total bottoms" are getting HIV from? Their big ol' dildoes? Sometimes from versatile guys and sometimes, yes, believe it or not, from total tops.

Maybe when this double-standard where gay men think only bottoms can get HIV disappears will rates of infection begin to go down.

Another lesson is I should never have become involved with a total top, I'm not even a total bottom. But I "fell in love," yuch!@

These are not words of wisdom if it only specifies that people should not be bottoming raw. Topping raw can still get you HIV, especially if there are other STDs in the mix such as herpes.

It does not "only" specify that people should not be bottoming raw. Read it again. He states that everyone should be practising safer sex. He then goes on to add that it is even more important for bottoms and this is true. Bottoms are statistically more likely to be infected not only with hiv, but with other STIs as well. Same goes for women. It's just the science and mechanics of hiv and STI transmission.

Any top who thinks that they aren't included in the word everyone is just fooling himself. Just because a bottom is more likely to end up with an STI or hiv doesn't mean that a top is immune.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

It does not "only" specifically state that people should not be bottoming raw. Read it again. He states that everyone should be practising safer sex. He then goes on to add that it is even more important for bottoms and this is true. Bottoms are statistically more likely to be infected not only with hiv, but with other STIs as well. Same goes for women. It's just the science and mechanics of hiv and STI transmission. Any top who thinks that they aren't included in the word everyone is just fooling himself.

Ann

Dearest Ann, there is absolutely no reason to add "(most importantly meaning not bottoming raw)" to the statement. It dilutes the message and is potentially dangerous. It also doesn't make sense. If it's saying not to bottom raw is the most important thing to consider that implies that it's not "as important" not to top raw but anyone who is topping raw will be doing it with someone on bottom!

Do you have anything to back up your statement that bottoms are statistically more likely to be infected with other STDs?

Total tops can and do get HIV, period. There should not be the mistaken mentality that they don't. That thinking is dangerous and leads to more infections.

Oh girl, how do you know he was a "total top"? Because he told you? Yeah, like that's really reliable unless you were there when he was totally topping. It's just as lame as believing people when they say they're negative. Proves nothing... just words.

There are tons... TONS of queens out there who think saying they're a "total top" gets them to the front of the line. "Total" is an overly big word. I might claim to be a "total bottom" but the truth is I was generally in top mode at least twice a year -- not enough to claim to be very versatile, but enough to loosey goosey with words to a partner. It's all bullshit when it comes to HIV transmission in my book.

Oh girl, how do you know he was a "total top"? Because he told you? Yeah, like that's really reliable unless you were there when he was totally topping. It's just as lame as believing people when they say they're negative. Proves nothing... just words.

There are tons... TONS of queens out there who think saying they're a "total top" gets them to the front of the line. "Total" is an overly big word. I might claim to be a "total bottom" but the truth is I was generally in top mode at least twice a year -- not enough to claim to be very versatile, but enough to loosey goosey with words to a partner. It's all bullshit when it comes to HIV transmission in my book.

Miss P, I KNEW you were going to say that, lol. Seriously, this guy really is and has been a total top all his life. He has a "thing" about anyone getting anywhere near his butt. I know there are people who claim to be total tops and aren't but this one really is.

The thing is some of the guys he was fucking raw were big party bottoms, the kind who binge and take load after load. These individuals are much more likely to have other STDs, such as herpes, and this facilitates transmission.

Things were starting to go south between us and I happen to see his text messages one day and saw one from such a guy, saying how hot it was to feel my ex's cum inside him and how he loves it when he breeds him, etc. No judgments here, but if you are having that kind of sex, you are likely to have HIV and if you fuck someone raw who is having that kind of sex you are also likely to get HIV. It would have been nice if, considering these kinds of extra-curricular activities, he had at least put on a condom when he came home to me. Too much for me to ask for I guess.

But your point that the distinctions as to who considers themselves "total" tops or bottoms versus versatile, is important. The fact that there is such fluidity with it all is precisely why it's so meaningless to make a statement such as the "(most importantly meaning not bottoming raw)."

To avoid HIV and other STDs condoms should always be used in any situation where a person does not absolutely know their partner's status, whether we're talking tops or bottoms or whatever.

The thing is some of the guys he was fucking raw were big party bottoms, the kind who binge and take load after load. These individuals are much more likely to have other STDs, such as herpes, and this facilitates transmission.

Oh, Miss Tina was in the house now was she? That explains everything. She makes total tops into total bottoms -- unless you're now going to swear up and down that your ex didn't do Tina while the party pig bottoms were doing it. I've been around the block enough times in Manhattan to know that's another big yarn -- he was probably at Lou Maletta's up in the private manager's office sling and getting passed around by five German men. All bets are off now.

Oh, Miss Tina was in the house now was she? That explains everything. She makes total tops into total bottoms -- unless you're now going to swear up and down that your ex didn't do Tina while the party pig bottoms were doing it. I've been around the block enough times in Manhattan to know that's another big yarn -- he was probably at Lou Maletta's up in the private manager's office sling and getting passed around by five German men. All bets are off now.

Miss Tina might have been in the house with some of the bottoms he was fucking but my ex does not drink or smoke or do any kind of drugs. I always did notice he was attracted to big fucked up party bottoms, though. I had a friend who was like that, this guy, a top, would actually have meth on hand to give to other guys so they could become voracious bottoms but he never did any himself. Look, there's something to be said for a voracious bottom, it can be a real turn on to have sex with one.

I wish he had been on meth, that would have been a red flag for me. This guy (my ex) goes to bed no later than 10 PM every night, is up at around 6 AM to work. He does not even have a glass of wine, no smoking, no nothing. He also buys condoms in bulk and he did use them sometimes, just not all the time. Unfortunately for me he had a weak spot for sometimes raw fucking party bottoms. The point is: not everyone who has sex with someone on meth is on meth themselves.

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."