A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Adam is opening the show with Steve-O making his 2nd appearance on the ACS and nearly 6 years of sobriety, Adam wants to know what he misses most about not drinking, hilarious sidewinder mention.

Adam is mocking Steve with a sip of Mangria, Steve misses the actual psychosis of multiples days high on cocaine and nitrous.

Steve has a great Andy Dick reply to Adam’s joke about the type of people who were probably crashing at Steve’s place without his direct consent/awareness.

Adam just admitted Andy and his cigar on episode #9 of the podcast is why he chose to move it to the studio from his house, he’s now describing Andy’s insult to injury of consuming all of Adam’s lunch meat and Adam is trying to explain just how troubling that was for him.

They’re now all riffing about Andy Dick, Adam is describing him as army jeep like in his sexuality, brilliant riff!

Adam is now explaining the most frustrating thing about Andy with some great BJ comedy with BB, he’s telling Alison the details of the lunch meat buffet for Andy.

Adam is now asking Steve-O how he transitioned from performer to comedian and he’s asking him to tell two crazy stories from his past adventures.

The first regarding a woman with no upper teeth, Steve’s “Blown Away” story involving a “Gummer” which explains the “Whale Shark Gummer” joke from one of the Jackass movies.

Steve is telling Adam about the Jackass spinoff movie focusing on Johnny Knoxville’s old man character from the Jackass movies.

Adam is now sharing how he had a moment with Johnny, sharing a table with him at Jimmy’s wedding pondering if he should bring up a recent viewing of his movie “The Ringer”.

What Can’t Adam Complain About

1st Topic is Adam’s choice and he’s going off on something he can and has complained about, shoelace length, he’s talking about his son’s shoes that were over double the length needed, hilarious sentient shoelace one liner from the Aceman.

Adam is sharing a play by play with his Son’s shoes and how he came up with these gripes mid attempt to secure them, he’s now lamenting dress shoes and how they don’t give enough lace, gold!

2nd Topic from Lou, in from Palm Springs. He doesn’t think Adam can complain about “Big Ol’ Fake Titties”

Adam is riffing about them meeting in Corona, really good riff.

Adam is now easily mocking fake breasts while complimenting the fringe benefits of encountering a woman who has them and Alison is confirming his experience with her own quick comments.

Adam is now riffing about the women explaining the process of getting the beasts surgically implanted and they’re riffing about plastic surgeons.

Steven is now telling another story, the time he went back to his hotel room with a webcam whore, and Adam is now riffing about a family legacy of that profession.

3rd Topic from Bethany from Corona, she wants to know how Adam can complain about getting free tickets to Adam Carolla live shows.

Adam is now asking her about her name, he wants to call her Beth and he’s mocking her filing out the full name and he’s easily complaining about the free tickets.

Adam is now going off on free in general, saying that people don’t appreciate free anything, including podcasts, he’s got a great point about car cleanliness and how you can tell who paid for the car by looking at the interior.

“Easy to walk out on free” – Adam Carolla

4th Topic from Tyler of Temecula, he doesn’t think Adam can complain about the very game/bit that they are currently engaged in.

Adam is mocking ad agency guys who are so impressed with using a city with the same first letter of the person named in the ad, in response to BB’s delivery of Tyler and his hometown.

Adam is complaining about the game never ending and how it can ruin things in his personal life and effect even his staff.

Adam is now bringing up how Molly pulled her “deflated sigh” move mid rant once again, she was responding to the heat but was perfectly timed with Adam’s GRIT speech.

BB is bringing up how his theory on how Adam’s life must be torturous as his twitter stream is an endless series of people telling him things that piss him off, often with photographic evidence.

Adam is now citing the full size dog sitting a plane seat that you can see via the show link above, wow!

5th Topic from Jeff visiting from OKC, wants to know how Adam could complain about being the number 1 podcast on iTunes.

They’re all now responding to the full scale hunting dog sitting between two passengers, Adam is now commenting on how other animals must see dogs and comment on their luck.

Adam is riffing about dogs as the lottery winners of the animal kingdom and describing how his dog probably has a better life than 99% of the people on earth, holy shit this is genius!

Adam is commenting on Molly’s “best 10 year run than anyone else in this house” reply to Lynette telling him about her cancer diagnosis.

Adam is commenting on Molly’s “paw on the leg” if he doesn’t supply her with enough table scraps and how Olga reacts to that.

Adam is now on a “nowhere to go but down” and “target on your back” reply to Jeff about the iTunes charts, he’s now screaming about Andy Dick coming into his house and eating his lunch meat.

Adam’s reply to the question of why he’s number 1, regarding “a set of lucky stones” is pure gold!

“I’m thinking about getting into the surgery thing” – Adam on how everyone thinks they can get into comedy but not into surgery or medicine.

Adam just busted out the classic Plentywood Montana reference while describing the low rated radio jocks from across the country that quiz him about the podcast world, testing the waters for their own possible podcast.

Adam is now asking how people would ask about the success behind loveline and why it was so popular, Adam would explain the reason, because he is so great and Drew is good.

Adam is telling Jeff to watch out for speed traps, he’s now sharing an “oooooooh” thought regarding how you should be able to rent a radar detector along with a car much like you can rent automatic toll devices.

Alison just brought up Gary’s Jeep Cherokee with custom rims, Adam wants to know if anyone has gotten laid from custom rims and Gary is now confirming his suspicions.

Jeff is heading to Vegas and Adam is giving him further tips to enjoy his vacation, he’s saying he’s never fully capitalized on the Vegas experience.

Adam is now breaking down the glamorous bullshit image Vegas presents vs. the harsh reality complete with herpes and vomit.

He’s now joking about the strip in Vegas compared to old town and the surrounding areas, they’re talking about the cab drivers and Adam’s sharing about the time a cab driver was telling him how shitty Los Angeles was in 2005 when he was attending a bachelor party.

Adam is now joking about guys who have boats while describing this cab driver and Alison is improv’ing a scene with Adam about how you never take someone up on taking you out on a boat.

They are wrapping the game and Adam is asking Steve-O about an average day in his life, he used Adam’s reviled “Rescue” term to describe his “pound saves” aka dogs.

Steve-O is bringing up how taxi drivers would always take him to the strip club only to discover that all of the strippers are also in town from California.

Adam is now riffing his “meet in the middle” stripper idea, stopping the commuting strippers and Alison is bringing up the women she judged while on the Southwest flights between Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

Adam is talking about the small talk you have to make with a stripper between gross mouth noises in reply to Alison’s questions about strip club etiquette.

Adam is asking Steve about his experiences with massage therapy, including the full release type and Adam is saying he doesn’t think they would be as good as it as he is.

Steve is now explaining that there isn’t much small talk between you and the tugger as the tuggee, Alison is getting him to confirm the ease in which to acquire one of these HJ’s.

Adam is now asking if there are any instances where the masseuse taps out while trying to get the sap out, ala the “dealer move” demonstrated by most card dealers in aforementioned Las Vegas Casinos.

Steve is confirming his lifelong premature ejaculator status and Adam is picking up the message loud and clear, Alison wants to know if you’re getting too rough of a HJ from the masseuse much like massages.

Adam is explaining that he’s never sent back food, water nor complained about a too rough massage and they’re all weighing in.

Alison’s News

Her top story is about “Cat Café’s” and Adam is now riffing about the dog’s winning the animal lottery theory and he’s now claiming all dog mauling’s are actually “hate crimes” with some help from Alison.

Adam is now riffing against “who was here first” with “I don’t care we’re here now and we have a gun”.

Alison is explaining what these places are and Adam is now riffing about bringing someone back to life from the 1960’s, a hipster and trying to have a “who’s on first” back and forth with him about hanging out at “cat café”.

BB is jumping in for the improv and they just made up quite possibly the funniest “Who’s on First” riff of all time.

Alison is polling the audience on the love for cats and dogs, Adam is now bringing up the two tells people give while talking about their animals that people should never bring up.

He’s giving and impassioned” Cat’s don’t Judge” from the POV of an abused woman, he’s now mocking the people who explain why dogs are superior to cats, because they don’t outwardly express affection like a dog.

Adam and Alison are riffing about people who love their dogs too much and what they must think of humans, Adam’s description of them thinking we are assholes, much smarter dogs who can walk upright and figured out how to drive a car is insanely great.

Adam has a great description of what could be happening to him in front of Molly and how she wouldn’t be bothered in the slightest.

Adam is now ranting about people who have dogs and can’t put them in the bathroom while people are inspecting or working on their homes.

Adam is bringing up the counterpoint individual who is frightened of all dogs no matter what and refuses to accept reality, even with Molly and Adam is now citing that one guy he had this experience with.

Adam is using race as an example of how you need to get over these things and drops an even funnier joke about the lack of black people in his house.

Adam is bringing up how Molly “Tapped herself out” when a neighbor dog was charging at her and Adam and how he now criticizes her barking at night because he knows she has no bite.

Adam is bringing up Magnesium and welding while riffing about the bird cannon used to test bird strikes on jet engines and Adam is now explaining that dogs like Steve’s, in particular Chihuahua’s will be used instead of dead birds.

They’re now joking about Chihuahua’s turning grey unlike other dogs and Adam just invented “just for men, for dogs”.

2nd Story is on a bar in Los Angeles that has a water sommelier and they serve a variety of types.

Steve is bringing up the episode of “Bullshit” with Penn and Teller where they served water from the same tap.

Adam just made up “I’ve been sucking on the canteen all the live long day” to the tune of “Working on the railroad” to make a point about the flood of hydration going on in modern society.

Adam wants to know what people think is better or your liver, BPA filled plastic bottled water vs. tap water and he’s judging the science behind it while Steve fills in some information, nice.

Alison wants to know how he feels about salt water vs. chlorine pools and he’s on a rant about people becoming dependent on things while admitting that people do claim they are better, he still doesn’t care.

3rd Story is on lawmakers rejecting the bill that would require the usage of condoms in porn, Adam is now bringing up the “Jim Abbot” money shot move porn performers employ at the last minute.

BB is explaining the real Jim Abbot’s move to Alison, Steve and the non-laughing parts of the audience, Adam likes a “ballet of jizz” in his porn.

Alison is bringing up the incidental HIV diagnosis of 3 performers in the past month.

Adam is now going off on the amount of “pussy eating” in classic porn and Steve is going off on lesbian porn, he’s got a solid joke about what it’s akin to.

4th Story is on a new study about how many people are working while using a treadmill desk or other techniques.

Adam is bringing up how he was watching football over at JKL with the guys earlier in the day, he went to use the bathroom and didn’t have the key to enter Jimmy’s bathroom.

He’s sharing how he brought up John Lassiter’s office over a Pixar, he’s got a great comment about leaving a brown surprise.

Adam is now launching into the payback for the Dixie Chicks prank, how Ray and “another guy” took a shit in Jimmy’s desk, then notified Adam and had to pull a late night B&E to retrieve their shits.

Adam is now commenting on his bizarre move he still doesn’t understand where he told Jimmy anyway.

Alison is breaking down the story and trying to figure out the most challenging parts, Adam thinks a security guard would let you buy and understand if you told the truth in that situation, gold!

Alison wants to know if you could be comfortable sitting at that desk, post fecal removal and Steve has a story about ruining a keyboard.

Alison is turning on “some of the guys” with her limited abilities to destroy thinks with bodily fluids/waste and she just revealed she was 10 at the time, leading to a funnier dual “even smaller amount of guys” bit of comedy.

5th Story is on the latest Ms. America pageant and Adam is bringing up how he saw the commercial that seems to be “sexing” up the franchise or “upping the game in the boner department”.

Adam is now asking who hosts these things now, he’s mocking he idea of “international superstar” and how you always need to brace yourself to be underwhelmed for the people sporting that title.

Alison is bringing up some factoids about the contestants this year, a lady with a partial arm and a tattooed military chick.

Adam is calling this woman the Jim Abbot of Beauty Pageants, then tops it with a half joke, so strange and forced it’s even funnier than the joke itself.

Adam is saying he would be the contestant who never shaved her bush, he would claim it was a religious practice and would be stifled with cycling shorts and result in a million dollar lawsuit.

Alison has a point about people not actually reminding you of things the majority of times you’ve asked.

Adam is now explaining how Lynette was on a Pizza run, they had a last minute topping change up and Adam is now sharing the comedy that ensued trying to swap the toppings “Can’t I just get a Sausage and Onion Pizza”.

Adam is bringing up how Lynette delivered a pre-emptive “I forgot your garlic powder” reply upon returning home, which took his powder and right to complain away from him.

Adam has a great car totaling analogy, this is hilarious! Adam is now bringing up how he always has a sneaking suspicion that if the kids wanted the powder they would have obtained a dump truck full of it.

Alison is wrapping the news and Adam is going off on people who do the “hey I’m from Brooklyn, I’m from New York” tough guy nonsense and he’s using that to transition to the use of garlic powder in NYC pizza parlors.

Adam is bringing up the packets of parmesan cheese and how they feel weird and redundant to him in comparison to garlic, he’s got a hilarious jerky inside a hotdog analogy and possible sales pitch for John Madden.

They’re now riffing on all the packets and sporks we all seem to have in our homes.