How To Get Her Back If SHE Broke Up With You.

Your girlfriend, who supposedly loves you “more than anything” broke up with you. All those plans for the future that you had, all the romantic getaways that you were going to surprise her with aren’t possible anymore. Heck, I wouldn’t even be shocked if you’ve taken to laying in bed all day, letting a beard grow out and binging on Netflix shows.

Somewhere in your pain you took to the internet to search for the ways you can turn the tables on her and make her love you like she used to.

Well, I have an interesting paradigm shift.

Who cares about making her love you again?

“Huh? Isn’t this page about helping me get my ex girlfriend back?”

Of course!

But I will tell you what I don’t want to have happen. I don’t want you to repeat the same mistakes that occurred in your old relationship with her. She did break up with you after all. In other words, your girlfriend didn’t love you enough to fight for you.

What I would rather have happen is that I want you to create a new relationship with her. I want this relationship to be so good that it would be impossible for another breakup to occur. I want the two of you to connect emotionally on a level that neither of you has ever experienced before.

Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back? Find out in 2 Minutes...

How Her Age Plays A Role

Do you have any idea on what the average age is for a woman to get married now-a-days?

Well, according to the National Center for Marriage and Family Research it’s 27.

Any idea on why I am citing that statistic?

In my opinion, the age and maturity level of a woman can have a direct correlation to how hard she is willing to fight for a relationship. So, before we even start looking at the reasons on why she may have broken up with you I think it’s important to look at the stage of life your ex girlfriend is in.

I have divided this section up into four different categories.

High School Mentality

College Mentality

Serious Mentality

Super Serious Mentality

I am going to talk a lot about each one of these categories so you have a good idea of how this applies to your situation.

High School Mentality (15 – 18 years old)

I remember dating in high school ten years ago and thinking I knew everything there was to know about relationships.

For example, when I was a senior in high school I remember dating a girl and thinking we had the perfect relationship. We were literally a month into this thing and I was already thinking,

“Wow, maybe I might end up with this girl for the rest of my life.”

Bear in mind here that I was just a kid at 18 years old. Looking back now, I had no idea what a relationship required. Sure, I had been on dates and new a thing or two about women but I had absolutely no clue what it took to have a successful relationship.

(The two of us crashed and burned pretty badly FYI.)

What makes you think that women at this age are any different?

Look, between the ages of 15-18 most women aren’t looking to settle down. Sure, they may say they are but at this age they have absolutely no idea what they want out of life. They are too immature to sustain a long lasting relationship.

We all love to hear those stories of two high school sweethearts beating the odds and ending up together but have you ever taken a look at how challenging those odds are to beat?

Trust me, it’s not fun to look at.

However, the thing we are trying to focus on here is the actual mentality that girls have at this age in relationships.

In my opinion, most women are controlled by emotions at this age. Sure, most women are controlled by emotions pretty much all the time but the thing you start to see as they get older is that they start putting more logic into their decisions.

Between the ages of 15-18 there isn’t going to be much logic behind your girlfriends decisions.

Will she be willing to fight for the relationship?

Maybe, but only if you can tap into her emotions on a very deep level.

College Mentality (19 -22 years old)

In my opinion, this is the age where girls mature into women.

They make mistakes at this age…

They experience how cruel some men can be…

They start to learn what they want out of a relationship.

But most importantly, they learn from their experiences at this age.

This is really where women start developing a barometer for what they want out of a relationship. You see, in high school they were always under their parents roof and had to abide by the dating rules that they set. However, in college they get their first taste of freedom and with that freedom comes an endless possibility of men.

This means that they go on a lot of dates and have a lot of new experiences.

The thing I have always found most interesting about this age for women is that they experience a lot of things that they learn they don’t want out of a relationship. For example, a girl who is a freshman in college may have been extremely attracted to a “bad boy.” However, by the end of her college career she will probably be completely turned off by him.

So, lets assume that your ex girlfriend who you want back is 21 years old. Would she be willing to fight for your relationship again?

Well, I would have to say that any girl within this age is still going through a maturing process. Sure, she might be willing to give it another try with you. However, the thing you have to watch out for is what her long term goals are.

Speaking of long term goals…

Serious Mentality (23 – 27 years old)

Lets look at life from a 25 year old woman’s perspective for a moment.

Lets assume that this 25 year old woman has just graduated from college, she has just started a new job and she is maturing every single day.

The obvious next step is to find someone who she may potentially want to settle down with. Thus, it only makes sense that she is going to be looking for more serious relationships. On my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, I had an interesting chat with a 25 year old woman who explained this phenomenon to me.

She basically explained to me that when her and her friends were in college they were in party mode. However, once they got out of college she began to notice an interesting change in the dynamic. Rather than talking about the latest party they were going to attend they started talking about how they wanted more serious relationships. Topics like,

What age they wanted to get married by.

What age they wanted kids.

How many kids they wanted.

I think you get the idea.

were brought up and to take things a step further these women actually took actions to ensure that they were dating men that could give them these things.

Super Serious Mentality (27 – 35 years old)

As I said above, the average age that women get married is currently 27 years old.

Believe it or not but pretty much every woman walking the face of the earth wants to have children. Of course, there are risks associated with having a child later in life and most women are aware of these risks. Thus, it is during this super serious mentality that they begin to realize that their time is very valuable and they can’t waste it on prospects (aka men) who are just going to string them along.

In other words, between these ages most women are looking for marriage.

Of course, they won’t come right out and say that. No, they know if they did that then they would scare away every man within a ten mile radius. Instead, they opt to get you hooked in the relationship before they let out their true plans, to get married.

Now, I think there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. In fact, I applaud women who are looking for such a serious commitment but you didn’t come here to hear me praise women who want serious relationships. No, you came here because you want to know what your ex girlfriend is thinking if she is within this age range.

Well, the first thing we have to understand here is that SHE was the one who broke up with you. Now, if we apply what we already know about the super serious mentality (that women are looking for serious relationships) it could potentially mean that when she sat down and really thought things out she didn’t consider your relationship as developing into something that could potentially mean marriage.

Heck, maybe YOU were the one who had commitment issues.

Whatever the case, when it comes to this mentality it always usually boils down to the seriousness of the relationship (or lack of seriousness.)

Why Your Ex Girlfriend Broke Up With You

(If you are looking to turn the tables on your ex girlfriend and get her to fall for you then you need to read Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)

I get that you are stunned.

I get that you are hurt.

I even get that you feel betrayed.

Here are the facts though. What’s done is done and you can’t go back and change the past. So, rather than sitting around trying to change the past why not focus on how to improve the future? I have found that one of the best ways to affect the future when it comes to breakups is to actually understand what caused the relationship to end.

Those who are familiar with my work know that I love going into great details on things and this section is going to be no different.

However, before I really dive in to the heart of what made her want to break up with you I feel the need to warn you about something.

Assume That She Lied To You About The Cause

This is a horrible thing to say but your ex girlfriend is a liar.

Now, I know that is a bit presumptuous of me but I want you to think about something for a second.

When you were dating your ex the two of you were probably very close. In fact, I wouldn’t be shocked if during the highest moments of your relationship you muttered things like,

“I have never felt like this with anyone before..”

or

“I want to spend every day with you..”

to one another. My point is simple, no matter how bad things were at the end deep down your ex girlfriend probably still cares for you a lot. This means that when she sees you hurt she doesn’t get a feeling of satisfaction. Instead, she probably feels hurt as well.

So, when you two had the breakup talk and you asked her that inevitable question,

“Tell me why you want to break up?”

it can probably makes a lot of sense that she won’t be 100% honest with you if she feels that her answer is going to scar you for the rest of your life. I mean, put yourself in her shoes for a moment. Imagine if you had to tell her something like,

“I never loved you…”

Imagine the look on her face if she received that type of news. Not too fun is it?

The point here is simple, assume that your ex girlfriend wasn’t completely honest with you about the cause of the breakup. Keep this in mind as you are looking through all of the reasons for breakups I give below. She may have given you a reason that you think is true but trust me when I say that it could be more than just that reason.

(Side Note: Some women will be honest about the breakup. For example, if you cheated on them and they broke up with you because of it then I think its a safe bet that they are being honest with you.)

Too Much Fighting

Every couple is going to have a fight here or there.

In fact, I would say that it’s completely normal. However, what’s not normal is getting into a fight every other day over unimportant stuff.

For example, one of my first girlfriends and I were like this. I remember we would have these horrible fights where we would both say things to each other that we didn’t really mean. Sometimes both of us would scream at the top of our lungs to each other and then after the fight was over we would both frantically apologize and promise it would never happen again. Of course, a few days later we would fight over some other stupid thing.

In fact, I remember one time I began noticing this very trend so I did a test.

I literally took out a pencil and paper and mapped out how often we would fight.

Every time you fight with your ex girlfriend over unimportant things that is essentially like taking an axe and putting a notch in the “relationship tree.” All of those healthy things that relationships need start to lose their effectiveness and start to matter less.

I am pretty sure that you get what I am saying here since you probably hate how you feel after you fight with your girlfriend.

So, lets show some empathy and put ourselves in your exes shoes for a moment. Imagine that you and her are fighting all of the time. Tell me, what is fun about a relationship like that? What is it about a relationship like that, that would make her want to stay?

Speaking personally, I was in a relationship like that and I couldn’t deal with it. So, why would she?

Your Future Potential

We kind of touched on this above in the age section and we are going to touch on this again here.

I already established that between the ages of 23 -35 most women aren’t going to be wasting their time on men who they can’t see themselves with long term (yes I am talking about marriage.) For example, I was talking to a woman the other day who was complaining that her boyfriend was still in “party mode.”

He would go out every night and spend all of his money in the clubs.

Now, let me ask you something. If you were a woman and your main goal when it comes to relationships was to find someone you can marry would you find that type of behavior attractive?

The correct answer there is NO.

Now, I think it goes without saying that I have dealt with a lot of relationships in my life. I talk to both men and women every single day about them and when it comes to this particular issue (a mans future potential) there is one thing that I continually see.

There is a disconnect.

As a man I can honestly say that I didn’t start thinking seriously about what it took to create a long lasting relationship (potentially ending in marriage) until I was out of college for a while. Women are different. They mature a lot faster than men do because they realize that their time is much more valuable.

Lets take the average age for getting married for example.

Above I established that the average age a woman gets married is 27 years old (really its 26.9 but I rounded up.) How old do you think men are before they get married?

If you guessed that they were older then you would be right.

According to a 2011 study by the PEW Research Center, the average age that males tend to get married in the United States is 29.8 (which I am going to round up to 30.)

So, we have the men who get married at 30 years old and the women who get married at 27 years old.

This proves my point that women start looking at marriage a lot sooner than we do. So, the disconnect that applies to the (future potential) is the fact that your ex girlfriend may already be at the stage where she is looking for something super serious and you aren’t.

Not Enough Attention

Women are a little bit different than men in that they have to be re-assured that they are the only one that matters to you every so often.

Here’s the interesting thing though. Most girls are smart enough to know that constantly hounding a guy to pay attention to them isn’t the way to go about a situation. Instead, they’d rather drop hints like breadcrumbs and hope you are smart enough to follow the trail to what they really want.

I had a girl once tell me that she shouldn’t have to ask for my attention, I should just know to give it to her.

You see, in their mind if they have to ask you to pay attention to them then that means you didn’t care enough in the first place to give them the attention they feel they are entitled to.

Of course, the less attention a woman usually gets the more it drives her nuts and the more she gets upset with you.

Lets assume for a moment that the reason that your ex girlfriend broke up with you was because you weren’t giving her enough attention. In her mind she probably thinks that she did everything she could (without overstepping her bounds) to get you to pay attention to her. The more you missed her hints the more insecure she became and she probably started being plagued with thoughts like,

“Why isn’t he paying attention to me? Is there something wrong with me?”

Pretty soon those insecurities turn into resentment and instead of thinking there is something wrong with her she begins to think there is something wrong with you,

“I wonder if it will always be like this with him? Will he ever pay me a compliment?”

Are you with me here?

Lets recap really quick.

So far you not paying enough attention to your girlfriend caused her to think about her insecurities which eventually created resentment towards you for making her feel that way.

Here’s the important part.

This resentment she feels is going to lead her down a path that you don’t want her to take, the breakup path.

“Maybe I should break up with him…”

“I wonder what my life would be like without him? Maybe I could find someone that pays attention to me.”

Not paying attention can be dangerous huh?

The Honeymoon Period Ends

Your ex isn’t perfect. Lets not put her on a pedestal here. I guarantee you that she wasn’t a saint all the time throughout your relationship (no one is.) Besides, for the last three breakup reasons I have been pretty hard on you so look at this reason as a bit of a mental break from everything being entirely your fault.

Some women have unrealistic expectations about relationships. In other words, they think that the honeymoon period exists forever.

Lets start there, with the honeymoon period.

Since you have obviously dated before I am sure you are well aware of this period of time at the beginning of a relationship when everything is absolutely perfect. You look at your girlfriend and she can do no wrong. She looks at you and you can do no wrong.

Fights are avoided.

Everything is exciting.

And every morning you wake up you are filled with happiness.

It’s a shame that period of time can’t last forever huh?

Though, if every day was like that then I bet relationships start to become kind of boring. It’s actually the imperfections of relationships that make them interesting. It’s also those imperfections that can cause people to freak out.

(Remember, people don’t like change.)

If your girlfriend became addicted to how she was feeling during the honeymoon period it can be a bit troublesome when reality kicks in and she starts to realize that you can’t feel that way forever. This may eventually cause her to break up with you (because she “lost feelings.”)

Here is the most ironic part. The truth is that she didn’t really lose feelings. She just came down off her high of being in the honeymoon period.

Of course, the way she looks at it is vastly different. She has convinced herself that all relationships have to feel a certain way. In other words, the honeymoon period has to last forever.

Now, here is the most ironic part of this entire situation. Lets say that your ex girlfriend broke up with you because of this reason (the honeymoon period being over.) Lets also assume that she has moved on to another guy. Well, she is going to be in for a rude awakening because the honeymoon period won’t last forever with this new guy either.

Essentially what we have here is a self fulfilling prophecy where she keeps jumping from relationship to relationships wondering why she can’t ever hang on to a man.

Cheating (You & Her)

Cheating is one of those things that pretty much everyone has a hard time forgiving.

Speaking personally, I can forgive someone for cheating on me but I couldn’t ever be with that person in a romantic way ever again.

Why?

Well, truthfully I am one of the most dedicated men you will ever meet when it comes to relationships. The only thing I ask is that my dedication is matched in a relationship. If it isn’t, then I know my worth and I would be willing to walk away to find a situation where I know for a fact my dedication will be matched.

I feel that I am in majority when it comes to this. I expect anyone I date to remain faithful to me. It’s as simple as that.

If that doesn’t happen…

Well…

A breakup is probably inevitable.

I am willing to bet that your girlfriend probably holds my exact same view. Nevertheless, I do hear a lot of relationship stories and something I begin noticing more and more of is the following situation,

Lets say that you ended up cheating on your girlfriend. Of course, your girlfriend is madly in love with you so she tries to forgive you and decides to stay with you. Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tries she can’t get past the cheating and it starts to carry over into other aspects of your relationships.

Eventually this becomes such a problem that she initiates a break up with you.

Of course, I have heard a lot of stories where the shoe is on the other foot. Instead of you being the one who cheats (and is caught) she is the one who cheats.

Call me crazy but I have this internal belief that most people walking around in the world tend to be good people. Sure, we are all flawed, that just goes with the territory, but underneath all those flaws our hearts are in the right place.

Lets say your girlfriend cheats on you and gets away with it.

You have no idea that she has betrayed you.

She should be happy, right?

WRONG!

The guilt of her betrayal could be eating her up inside. In fact, it could be eating away at her so much that SHE breaks up with you because she feels you deserve better.

Now there’s a twist…

Is The Relationship Worth Fighting For?

In this particular scenario, where your ex girlfriend is the one who broke up with you, you are going to be fighting an uphill battle.

If this were a game of chess everyone would know that the person who is the one who initiated the breakup would hold the advantage (meaning your ex has the advantage.) So, it is extremely important for you to determine if your relationship is even worth fighting for because if you even have a shred of doubt that you aren’t going to be able to pull this off then you probably won’t.

That is the kind of conviction you need.

How To Know If Your Relationship Is Worth Fighting For

Right now there is nothing you want more in your life than to get your ex girlfriend back.

I get it.

Unfortunately, the mere fact that you want your girlfriend back tells me that you are not in a state where you are super emotional. I am not writing this to upset you. I am writing it to educate you.

When I ask you a simple question,

“Is your relationship worth fighting for?”

I bet you that 100% of you are going to answer yes. I mean, you came here looking for a way to get her back if she was the one who broke up with you, of course you think your relationship is worth fighting for.

But is it?

Is it really?

I have literally put hundreds of couples back together (not an exaggeration check out the success section on Ex Boyfriend Recovery and on this site.)

Out of all the couples that I put back together do you know which ones I am the most proud of?

It’s the ones that are still together to this day..

The ones that were willing to fight for each other…

The ones that actually ended up getting married!!!

Do you think you and your ex girlfriend can be one of these types of couples? You know, the type of couple that gets back together and does whatever it takes to stay together?

I can already hear you answering in your head.

YOU: “Of course we can be one of those couples!”

Oh really?

Tell me, what are you going to do different this time around if you get her back?

I am serious. Take out a piece of paper and tell me exactly what YOU can do differently this time to carry your weight in the relationship?

You want to know how you can determine if your ex is worth fighting for.

I’ll tell you.

If you can take out a piece of paper and actually list out 10 things that are going to change to make sure you are a more successful couple this second time around. If you can’t do that then I am afraid to tell you that your ex is not worth fighting for.

My 3 Step Method For Getting Her Back If She Broke Up With You

(Learn the step by step method on how to get your ex girlfriend back by clicking here.)

I have always found that people process information a lot better when you number it in steps. So, I have identified 3 key steps to winning back your ex girlfriend assuming that she was the one who broke up with you. Now, if you haven’t noticed already you may notice that when I write one of these pages I tend to write a lot.

I realize that a lot of my peers have taken to writing these “3 step methods” and they barely expand on the concepts they are trying to teach. Well, you won’t have to worry about that here because I ALWAYS go into great detail to make sure you understand every little thing I am trying to teach you.

So, believe me when I tell you that my “3 steps” aren’t going to be these little short write ups just generally telling you what to do (like so many other people out there write.) No, my “3 steps” are going to equip you with all the knowledge you could ever wish for, for winning your girlfriend back.

Lets begin!

Step One – Hitting The Reset Button

Look, whatever you are doing right now to get your ex girlfriend back is not working so I think it’s time to try a different approach.

The question now becomes, what approach should you take?

I suppose you could try to spruce up your “texting game” and do a better job of text messaging her. Of course, doing that at this point is a little risky considering you probably aren’t her favorite person in the world right now. Lets save the texting for a little bit later down the road for when the time is right.

The one X factor here that I haven’t really gone into is the fact that she was the one who broke up with you. That means that on some level she had this exact thought in her head,

“I am consciously making the decision to end this relationship with him.”

So, basically all 3 steps that I am going to be covering here have one goal in mind,

Painting you in a light so bright that she will be forced to take you back.

Think of it like this. It’s almost like you are “pitching” yourself to her just like a business proposal. Of course, you can’t only appeal to her on a logical level like most business people try to do. No, when it comes to relationships with women you also have to take the emotional factor into account.

Ah… herein lies the problem.

Now, Ill admit that I don’t know your exact situation but I do know one thing. If you are reading this page then that means that your ex was the one who probably broke up with you. So, the fact that she had to break up with you was probably painful to her on many levels and she is associating those painful/angry/upset emotions with you.

If you try to get her back right now (which I know for a fact you do) it is not going to go very well because she isn’t in the right emotional mindset to take you back.

Timing is important when you deal with women, trust me.

Think of it like this.

Lets say that you just received some bad news and you are going to be forced to break it to a woman. What do you think is going to work out better for you in the end?

Telling her this bad news when she isn’t in a good mood?

or

Telling her this bad news when she is in a good mood?

(I shouldn’t have to answer that.)

If you try to get your ex girlfriend back really fast then that means you are “pitching yourself” to her when she is in a very bad mood. It would be smarter of you to wait until her emotions reset or wait until she starts missing you to get her back.

While I hate constantly repeating myself from guide to guide I feel that the no contact rule is such a factor for “resetting” things that I have to.

Human beings have this primal need to feel wanted and the NC rule taps directly into that. Your ex girlfriend broke up with you and that means that deep down she has probably had the following thought,

“I bet he begs for me back.”

(This is something I teach women about men and now I am doing the same to you… I feel kind of bad like I am pitting men and women against each other in the dating game… oh well.)

So, as your ex girlfriend sits around waiting for you to beg for her back and you don’t the dynamic begins to slowly change. You see, she was probably angry that your relationship failed and that puts her in an angry mood. In fact, she has become so angry that she wants you to beg for her back because in her mind she will have “won.”

Well, if you are implementing the no contact rule and not talking to her you are obviously not going to be begging for her back. Pretty soon she is going to start wondering,

“Why hasn’t he begged for me back?”

Give the no contact rule some more time to work its magic after this and pretty soon she will be thinking,

“Man… I kind of miss him.”

Do you see what happened there?

She is starting to crave your attention. She no longer feels wanted by you and that drives her nuts. The no contact rule essentially acted like a reset button where you took her anger and turned it into,

“I miss him.”

The most important thing about the no contact rule is it brings your ex girlfriend back to a mindset where you can effectively “pitch yourself.”

Step Two- Becoming The Man She Has Always Dreamed Of

One of the advantages to owning a large website full of women (like the sister site to this one, Ex Boyfriend Recovery) is that I have a large database of women to quiz on what they are looking for in potential partners. You see, with my other site I have established an email list of over 5,000 women.

That means that whenever I want I can send a mass email out to 5,000 women at once. Well, a few days ago (since I knew I was writing this guide) I decided to send out a mass email to women quizzing them on the most important traits that a man has to have in order for them to fall in love with that man.

I picked out 20 traits and asked my database of 5,000 women to pick out the top three traits that “the man of their dreams” would have to have in order for her to fall in love with him.

The results were pretty interesting.

I am obviously going to be letting you in on them but first I feel it is important to explain why it is essential that you become the man of your exes dreams.

Why You Have To Become The Man Of Your Exes Dreams

You weren’t good enough….

Let that sink in for a moment.

Your ex girlfriend gave you a shot to be “the one” and you didn’t make the cut.

No matter how much women insist that they don’t think about things like that I guarantee you that they do. In fact, I am willing to bet that somewhere in the dark corners of her room there is a piece of paper entitled,

“The Man Of My Dreams”

What’s on that piece of paper you ask?

An actual list of qualities that she wants the man of her dreams to have. Why am I talking about this?

Because, when your ex girlfriend was dating you she was constantly comparing you to this mythical list that she created and in the end you weren’t good enough to keep around which means that she probably thought to herself,

“I can do better than him.”

What I want you to do is work a little bit every single day to prove her wrong. The mere fact that she broke up with you means she already gave up on you. I want you to make her feel like she made a massive mistake because that is really the only way you are going to convince her to take you back.

So, what qualities are women typically looking for in the man of their dreams?

Like I said above, I asked 5,000 women this question and here were the results.

The Three Qualities Every Man Needs To Have

When you give 5,000 women 20 qualities to choose from in describing their perfect man you begin to realize that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. Nevertheless, you also begin to see certain consistencies among all women.

Out of the 20 qualities listed I was able to notice three consistent trends among everyone who answered my little survey.

To women, the three most important qualities for a man to have are as follows,

Communication

Confidence

Faithfulness

So, your task is simple. Make sure you work extremely hard on developing these three characteristics. Trust me when I say that it is going to pay off for you.

Step Three- Influencing Her As Opposed To Trying To Control Her

Be honest, you want nothing more than to control your ex girlfriend.

If you could control her she wouldn’t have broken up with you and you wouldn’t even be reading a site like this. Unfortunately for you, you can’t control her and you are reading this site.

The number one mistake that I see men make when they are trying to get their ex girlfriends back is that their mindset is completely wrong. You see, most men try to control things too much.

Let me give you an example, lets say that I wanted to get an ex girlfriend back and the time for me to finally talk to her after “hitting the reset button” has come. I decide that my best bet to do this is through text messaging. When I text message her I begin to get very upset when things don’t go my way. In other words, I am trying to control every single aspect of the conversation. I am selfish about it.

I want her to respond when I want her to respond and I want her to text me when I want her to text me. Everything I am doing is from a selfish perspective.

Why do you think controlling/being selfish like this is a bad approach to winning back an ex girlfriend?

It’s a bad idea because you aren’t doing anything to influence her.

Women want to be influenced, they just don’t know it.

The Power Of Influence

Here is the most ironic thing about influence. The truth is that if you are able to successfully influence your ex girlfriend you can make her take the actions you wanted her to take if you were to control her.

I know it sounds weird but hear me out.

Let me give you an example.

You and your ex girlfriend are obviously broken up. We all already know that you want her back very badly. If you could draw a perfect scenario up it would be one where she is the one who begs for you back. So, in order to achieve this scenario you try way too hard to control things and you end up falling flat on your face.

On the other hand, if you were just to try to influence her she will slowly but surely start to move towards that “dream scenario” of her begging for you back.

What Do You Think? (2149)

AMit Bhatt

August 17, 2017

Dear Mam,

I am in friend zone after breakup. she daily talks to me, sometimes she remembering our beautiful days also but after she tells me that all our dreams are now dreams only. Means she has decided in her mind that she has to choose carrier and not to marry before 3 years. and she doesn’t want me to wait for 3 years. how should I deal with her to convince her for atleast engagement. what should I do to let her think once again about our relationship. She is very Happy camper type girl. she is enjoying her life and thinks nothing beyond that. I want her back.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 17, 2017

Are you going to do the no contact rule?

Soho

August 16, 2017

Hello, I think my situation is quite unique. My GF of 4 happy months ended, when she broke up with me because she found out that we had been dating when I was on a break with my previous ex-gf, which I eventually completely broke off 1 month ago. My GF who just broke up with me a few days ago is angry about this. I explained to her but she eventually ignored me and said its over. It’s been 2 days of NC. I am thinking about following the NC rule. Given the short time we had been together and the reason we broke up, I feel that 30 days is too long, or even 2 weeks. Because I’m afraid she will think that I was playing her, since I’m not fighting for her. I was genuine with her.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 16, 2017

It’s ok to do just 21 days

Christian

August 13, 2017

My gf and I have been together for 2 years since the end of highschool. We had a wonderful relationship and even luved together for a year of our relationship. We had had a couple of fights over my jealousy and communication issues but always talked through it and I told her I would change but failed to do so. She never gave me reason not to trust her and I did anyway. When she broke it off, I told her I respected her decision and understood why she was doing it and agreed that a break would be good to “find ourselves” and I even helped her move out. I waited 5 days before talking to her and sent a text saying “Hey, I know you need space. Just want you to know Im thinking about you.” She replied saying it wasnt easy for her either but that she hopes Im doing well. I feel like things could work out between us and Im currently going to counseling to deal with my jealousy issues which I feel is a good step towards showing her I want to change to make things work. I really want to talk to her all the time, as she was pretty much my best friend, but my friends say that it will either push her away or make her friendzone me. She has told my sister she still loves me but isn’t sure if she sees us getting married anymore. What advice can you give me on making her miss me? I want her to want me back and I want to tell her about my counseling to prove that Im trying but how long should I wait to have that talk? Please help, she means the world to me and I have no clue what to do? Ive been told that I should refrain from talking to her and just work on improving myself and that she will eventually see that Im working to improve myself and that she will want me back but every day all I can think about is talking to her. Any advice helps, thanks!

EGR Team Member: Amor

Kris

August 13, 2017

After a month with my girlfriend(although a month we really did a lot of stuff couples normally take more time to do) she broke up with me because she likes me more as a friend rather than a boyfriend(she was the one who got in contact with me because she liked me and we were together in like two days after we started talking; yes, I know we went fast but whatever). I wrote to her the next day so we can settle things and our new friendship, although I didn’t tell her I still want her back. She had stopped reacting to my stuff and everything was super normal before the break up. She was acting the same as always. Three days after the break up she started reacting on my posts again and I reacted on some of hers. Later I wrote to her again and we had a brief talk, before she fell asleep(usual for her) but when she woke up in the morning she didn’t write back. We haven’t talked since then which is five days. She got snapchat last night and I added her and she added me back and that’s most of the important info you should know. The question is what should I do to get her back? I understand the no contact thing, but I have to ask the following: should I text her or call her when I come back to the city she lives(yes, we live in different places during the summer, but most of the year we are in the same city) which will be in 7-8 days or not? What should I do, thanks for any help in advance!

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 13, 2017

If you’re in nc, nope you don’t..

Saul

August 12, 2017

Hi, my girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. Her reasoning was that she found a bobby pin in my room who she believed to be another girls bobby pin. She asked to look through my phone, and I refused and asked if we handle the situation through communication (there really was not a girl in my room). We talked that night (a Saturday) and spoke all day the next day (a Sunday). That Sunday, we were able to address our issue; we discussed both seeking help from psychologists individually and then a couples psychologist, to help us move in to the next stages of our lives. Then the next day (Monday), she goes to her psychologist and she says the psychologist validated her feelings that she was not overreacting and broke up with me. I have spoken to her over the last few weeks, but very infrequently. Last time I spoke to her, I suggested speaking in the presence of a psychologist, to really hash out our issues. She said she would think about it, but it has been 4 or 5 days since I asked to speak with her with a psychologist and I haven’t heard anything from her. I have implemented NC for a few days, but I wanted to ask for your opinion: should I continue to fight? We’ve had big fights before where I have had to prove to her that she should not worry and that I truly love her, and after a few weeks she would forgive me and things would be okay, we would communicated and build on our relationship and move forward. This last incident, because it is so small just makes me wonder. Any thoughts?

EGR Team Member: Amor

Saul Garcia

After a two or three week period, what would you suggest next steps to be?

Saul Garcia

August 13, 2017

what would you suggest to do after two to three weeks?

Saul Garcia

August 13, 2017

she messaged me and I replied last night. It didn’t really go anywhere, but would this be an issue? Or can I just continue NC?

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 13, 2017

you have to restart contact.. be active in improving yourself and in posting even after nc while you slowly rebuild rapport with her through texts first, and then calls and then meet ups.

Saul Garcia

August 13, 2017

By posting, do you mean posting on social media? Okay, thank you for the advice. I’ll use NC rule and once it is over I will reach out to her.

Mike

August 11, 2017

Ex girlfriend broke up with me over a couple things I said. Dating for 7 weeks and then she went back to her boyfriend, we hooked up for 3 weeks and then she got married a couple days after I saw her last. Is there a chance or should I just give up on this? I never initiate the contact. She does and she blocks and unblocks me. I said I have moved on and I wish her all the best and it is a shame our relationship didn’t work out. She said we had a really strong connection and isn’t sure if she will have something like that again.

EGR Team Member: Amor

AMit Bhatt

August 10, 2017

Dear Mam,

she is normally talking to me as friend daily as we were talking previously but now in this situation what should i do? I can not directly stop talking. whether I should stop talking to her? What I should do to develop feelings in her again?

AMit Bhatt

August 6, 2017

my girlfriend who is my brother’s sister in law. we are in a deep love from 3 years. my age is 33 and her age is 22. she is in acting field. and myself is a service person earning good. problem is that we both have talked about our relationship to family members. after that all fortunately agreed. and then they decided to complete the ring ceremony. but my X refused to got engaged as she is in acting field. she told to wait for more 2 years. after that I told her that dont worry you continue your study. but one day suddenly what happened to her I dont know, she decided not to marry with me any more. I tried to convince her what is the problem and she told me that I want to focus on my carrier now. I dont want to repeat this type of mistakes again. I tried to convince that you focus on your carrier no problem but why are you ending our relationship? but she is refusing all these. She has now carrier only in her mind. she is talking with me daily but with no feelings. and if I tell her to meet she refusing to meet me. but she is talking with me daily in normal way. What should I do to get her back.

Jimmy

August 6, 2017

My girlfriend broke up with me on Tuesday gone. I am in a bit of a different scenario to quite a few people on here. She’s been one of my best friends for about 4/5 years before we started dating. Before we dated I had no romantic interest in her at all, it was only after we keep getting closer and closer as friends that I popped the question and we got romantically involved.

I’m confident that she doesn’t want to lose my friendship which we’ve build over 7 years, and I don’t want to lose hers either; but, I am stuck between the decisions I need to make moving forward.

I need to improve myself and “reset” if I ever want her back. This means the next time she sees me I need to be doing better than I was at the breakup.

My fear is, If I wait too long to contact her I might damage the friendship. The friendship I see as being a possible path to getting closer with her again – [But perhaps repeating history would be a mistake.]

BUT if I don’t wait long enough I will look like the same loser she dumped Tuesday gone.

It’s a fine line to tread, but granting we are best friends, how long should I NC for before asking her out for a coffee or something?

Is it smarter that I wait for her to message me if she wants to meet up soon as friends, and if she doesn’t message I do a full month or two of NC then ask her out for coffee?

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017

HI Jimmy,

the proper nc is no initiating, no replying, no commenting back for a certain period of time and being active in improving yourself and in posting and then initiating contact after nc while you continue improving yourself. Most of the time we recommend 30 days.

Ray

August 4, 2017

Hi, my girlfriend broke up with me last week. We started dating in long distance relationship. She’s is my best friend’s sister. Everything went really good and we are still in honeymoon phase. However, she actually started to have a weird feeling since 2 and half month. Is that she doesn’t find love but only feel relying on me. She wanted to take a break from this. We kind of like went NC for a week. After a week, i texted her and tell her that i’m ready to tell her what i’ve learn during the break. However, she believes that breaking up is good for her. The reason is because she doesn’t have any feeling and can’t find any love anymore. Until now, we are still in NC. Do i still stand a chance to get her back?

EGR Team Member: Amor

Start the count of nc now, do at least 30 days, be active in improving yourself and in posting and then slowly rebuild rapport after nc while continuing improving yourself.

RAY

August 12, 2017

I just posted a snap in snapchat yesterday and she texted me. Asking how are you? Well, we didn’t text a lot but in the end she said she’s happy to know that I’m doing good. I replied to her saying that i saw a post on FB and it remind me of you. Waiting for her response now. Is that a good sign that she’s into me? Cause i haven’t been active in snapchat for quite a while and she kind of like checking me out and texted me first.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 12, 2017

yeah, but that means you need to restart the count of nc.

Raymond Tan

August 13, 2017

She replied me the next day by just asking me what post? I read it but didn’t reply until few hours later. I snapped a photo of a guy that looks like her favourite actor and ask her seems familiar? She replied not sure. haha. lol. I was like wth? She viewed every single of my snapchat stories. However, she’s trying to cold me in that way. I did not reply her and decided to go no contact again. Of course, not going to view her instagram and snapchat stories.

Raymond Tan

August 15, 2017

Hi Amor, do you have any suggestion?

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 16, 2017

Go back to being active in social media but post more in sites where posts lasts

Ray

August 17, 2017

Hi Amor, thank you for your advice

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 17, 2017

You’re welcome!

David K

August 4, 2017

Hi Amor, I have been in a relationship with my ex for 6 months, a month or so ago we returned from European holiday which was stressful and we began to see things in each other we didn’t like. We didn’t fight or argue just got upset with each other at times. Worst was the flight back in which after a disagreement the night before, we didn’t coordinate talking to each other and gave each other the silent treatment. She attempted to talk when I didn’t want to and essentially told her I wanted to be alone that night. She thought I broke up with her, but I didn’t. The next day when we arrived home she mentioned that and instead took her things and broke up with me. When she did that week we were still in Contact and I did appear desperate and needy. Since then a month has passed with nc, I have been improving myself and attempted a text but only received a neutral response within hours. My brother is close friends with her but he can only help me so much. I really want her back but don’t know now what to do? Thanks for your advice

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017

that’s good that you improved. How much did you improve and how active were you in posting during nc? What were the topics you used in texting?

David K

August 11, 2017

Thanks Amor, well I’ve quit smoking, going to the gym and trying my best to be happy and look for better work which we discussed before we broke up. I only texted her once for a contact number about a nutritionist she knew, she said that’s fine, then I sent a Thank you and how’s gym going for her, she replied it’s alright and good luck. Since my last post I’ve heard she is seeing other people and most likely wants to move on because her history has been with many guys, so it’s a lot easier for her to just move on then deal with a situation. I really loved her and she loved me more at the start of our relationship but I believe I played all my cards wrongly, due to her experience. Everyone is telling me to move on too but I’m shattered and keep thinking about her. I’m 33 and she is 23 so she expected more from me. Her birthday is coming up next Friday and I want to send her a happy birthday text as well as apologizing for everything and that I have learnt all my lessons and hope to reconnect in time. After all this information what is your opinion please?

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 11, 2017

don’t apologize and explain.. that sounds like I’ve changed please take me back. How active were you in posting? And you need to initiate interesting topics for her to slowly build rapport.

David K

August 12, 2017

Thanks Amor, I’ve only posted or text once since we last saw each other as I mentioned about a month after no contact for the nutritionist to see if she would even respond, she did but a neutral response without asking about me. I won’t apologize then but wish her happy birthday, ask her what her plans are for her birthday and let her know she will always have a special place in my heart. How does that sound??

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 12, 2017

You need to restart nc and continue be active in improving yourself and in posting. Don’t say that because it looks like you’re chasing her. After nc, slowly rebuild rapport. She has to think you have moved on. That you’re just being friendly. Don’t ask if you can be friends, just start being friendly and build rapport after nc.

AMit Bhatt

August 3, 2017

my girlfriend who is my brother’s sister in law. we are in a deep love from 3 years. my age is 33 and her age is 22. she is in acting field. and myself is a service person earning good. problem is that we both have talked about our relationship to family members. after that all fortunately agreed. and then they decided to complete the ring ceremony. but my X refused to got engaged as she is in acting field. she told to wait for more 2 years. after that I told her that dont worry you continue your study. but one day suddenly what happened to her I dont know, she decided not to marry with me any more. I tried to convince her what is the problem and she told me that I want to focus on my carrier now. I dont want to repeat this type of mistakes again. I tried to convince that you focus on your carrier no problem but why are you ending our relationship? but she is refusing all these. She has now carrier only in her mind. she is talking with me daily but with no feelings. and if I tell her to meet she refusing to meet me. but she is talking with me daily in normal way. What should I do to get her back.

AMit Bhatt

August 4, 2017

my girlfriend who is my brother’s sister in law. we are in a deep love from 3 years. my age is 33 and her age is 22. she is in acting field. and myself is a service person earning good. problem is that we both have talked about our relationship to family members. after that all fortunately agreed. and then they decided to complete the ring ceremony. but my X refused to got engaged as she is in acting field. she told to wait for more 2 years. after that I told her that dont worry you continue your study. but one day suddenly what happened to her I dont know, she decided not to marry with me any more. I tried to convince her what is the problem and she told me that I want to focus on my carrier now. I dont want to repeat this type of mistakes again. I tried to convince that you focus on your carrier no problem but why are you ending our relationship? but she is refusing all these. She has now carrier only in her mind. she is talking with me daily but with no feelings. and if I tell her to meet she refusing to meet me. but she is talking with me daily in normal way. What should I do to get her back.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017

Hi Amit,

do you want to try the no contact rule and the advice above?

AMit Bhatt

August 9, 2017

Dear Team,

Please help me.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017

Hi Amit,

do you want to try the no contact rule and the advice above?

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017

Hi Amit,

do you want to try the no contact rule and the advice above?

Raymond

August 3, 2017

Hi, my girlfriend just broke up with me a couple of days ago. We started our relationship in long distance relationship since April. We text, voice and video call each other almost everyday. Out of sudden, she ignored me the whole day. I tried to call her but she didn’t answer because she was not convenient to answer my call at that time. Well, she’s being honest to that. She texted me she needs a break from this. She doesn’t find love but only feel relying on me. She thought she could love me more after our 2 and a half monthsary, but she couldn’t. A week later, i texted her saying that i’m ready to discuss and share about my thoughts and feelings during these few days of break. However, she jumps in to the conclusion that she wants to break up with me. We kind of like doing NC until today. For some reason, she removed me from her contact but she did not signed out from the couple app “between” and she did not change the pink and love theme in our messenger chat room. I’m not sure what she is really up to

Raymond

EGR Team Member: Amor

Start the count of nc now, do at least 30 days, be active in improving yourself and in posting and then slowly rebuild rapport after nc while continuing improving yourself.

Kevin Y.

July 20, 2017

First off, thanks for the read. It inspired me to do more for myself and recognize my weakness as a romantic partner.

My situation is as follows: I had thought all was well, and today I asked if we could see each other before her night shift. She took the opportunity to tell me she didn’t have feelings or love for me, even after all of the texts and verbal use of “love you,” both in English and Japanese. Granted, we weren’t in the relationship long, but we enjoyed so many outings and heart-to-hearts together. Then all of a sudden, she broke it off. She wants to maintain the friendship, though.

I am head-over-heels for her, and I will do whatever it takes to win her back. Based on your advice, how exactly do you recommend I “influence” her wanting me back? If I decide to NC, but she texts/calls me before, it could show that I don’t like her anymore. Any advice on that?

EGR Team Member: Amor

your chance depends on how much you improve yourself and you can influence her through your posts even if she blocked you.. because she’ll probably be curious and check on that in some way.

Kelly

July 12, 2017

My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago this coming Sunday. The reasons she gave me were, “between getting my house in order, pay bills, going back to school, needing to focus on her and her son and finding herself and fixing her self, that I don’t have the time for you”. The thing is, everything was going well between us. Granted, we were in the “Honeymoon Phase” but even that was a little bumpy; she got drunk one night and made some bad choices…one letting a much older guy (I am 35 and shes 27 and the guy was early 50’s) sit in her lap while I was working…(I work in a bar). The only time that I did not abide by the “NC” rule was the Monday after when I said ” I care about her a lot but she wrecked me. I’ve got a life to live and shit to do; I don’t have the time to waste on this. Sorry, I wish you the best”. Other than that, I have not talked to her. That’s a brief of the back story…now for the problem I am having…

Like I said, I work in at a bar, one she likes to come visit ( I didn’t meet her there fyi) and a couple weeks ago was her birthday and she celebrated it there. I didn’t care since I was out of town. But the following weekend, she was there both Friday and Saturday nights. I happened to be there too…just to hang out after my week long training. Now comes this past weekend…I am working, doing security, and she walks in with a friend from her work to hang out. When she leaves, she says ” Good night Kelly” and I respond with “Have a good night and be safe going home” (I say that to all the customers when they leave” The popular belief is the she is talking to a guy I work with who happens to be a “friend” of mine. I haven’t set foot in her place of work since I the break up out of respect for her. I don’t know how to handle this situation.

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2017

HI Kelly,

it’s ok to be civil with her.. just as long as you’re only that..start the count the day after you messaged her and be active in improving yourself.

Gage

July 12, 2017

My girlfriend and mother of our 1 year old son broke up with me yesterday. She said that i havent been involved in the babies life as much as i should be. I will admit that ever since he was born i have felt depressed and anxious all the time. So that had a huge part in it. How can i help to give me another chance to change? Im getting the mental help that i need starting in 2 days. And am trying a lot harder to spend time with our son. How can i do the no comtact rule when what she wants is for me to be more involved with him? I have to contact her to see him. I am willing to do anything to get her back i want us to be a whole and unbroken family…

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2017

HI Gage,

it’s ok to talk about the baby and be co-parents during no contact

Chris

July 11, 2017

Hi. My girlfriend (46) and I (48) have been dating for close to 2-1/2 years. We both have 2 children with our exes who range from early to late teens. We were both in unhappy marriages and helped each other through the divorce process. We were always very drawn to each other and it became romantic quickly, even before the marriages officially came to an end. Side note: We dated for a few years in the past when we were young (in college) and had always remained friends since and occasional lovers when we ran into each other. We both always felt a powerful attraction for one another and a safe/comforting feeling with each other. She is very independent and has a very demanding position at her office and just recently there had been a transition from an old boss to a new one which meant way more work for her, for a while since she is the executive secretary / assistant to the CEO. Up until a few weeks ago everything was going great. We were doing things together as a couple and also with the kids. Our sex life was intense, passionate, fulfilling, and pretty much off the charts. I cared about making her feel fulfilled more than I cared about my own needs and she almost always had an orgasm. She was also very generous and caring about making me feel good. Our communication was also good but admittedly it could’ve used a little work. When we were in sync, we were THE COUPLE. We talked about getting married within the next year or so. Then all of a sudden, things just dropped off. Practically overnight she went from texting me several times a day with “love you”, to barely a text here or there, and they were emotionless, informational two word replies. She grew more and more distant over the last two weeks of the relationship and finally told me that she was stressed out with work, the kids, taking care of the house (she owns her own home), and just wants to be alone because adding another person to her life right now is stressing her out as she feels it’s an extra worry that she can’t handle. She also explained that she has no time to herself to decompress and if I ended up moving in and we got married she would never have alone time. She assured me that there was nobody else (I believe her) and that it is purely do to trying to juggle her many obligations. I tried to explain to her that I am more than willing to help out in any way I can and that being together and splitting the many responsibilities between us would be a benefit. She, known for being very headstrong, wouldn’t hear of it and she ended the relationship but let me know that she still loves me is hopeful of us getting married in the future.

I am very confused about what I should do at this point. I love her deeply and want to have a life together with her. I just started No Contact a few days ago. I am using this time to improve myself. This break up was an awakening for me. I kind of feel that it was somewhat needed because there were a few things I needed/wanted to improve with myself both physically/health wise and with how I handle being in a relationship. I definitely feel that I needed to mature to a higher level. I also realized that I could be over-reactive and possessive to a point. Not in the way that I treated her like my property but, more like always looking to spend any free time she had, with me. Yes, it sounds needy but it was more stemming from the mindset that, “We’re a couple and couples do stuff together” rather than trying to control her.

EGR Team Member: Amor

don’t stop improving yourself even after nc.. and be active in posting during and after nc.

AMit Bhatt

August 4, 2017

i AM WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY.

EGR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017

Hi Amit,

do you want to try the no contact rule and the advice above?

Donut girl

July 5, 2017

Gay relationship broke up 4weeks ago no contact for 3weeks now 6 weeks ago when I noticed her withdrawing I become needy trying to control and jealous Not sure if she met someone else She said don’t know if she wants relationship she I finished it and moved out .

David

July 4, 2017

Hi, my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago over loss of feelings. I was diagnosed with depression a few days ago which i believe began at the time when we were forced to do long distance. She told me in December that she felt like we were getting into a rut but we didn’t do much to fix the situation.

I made the mistake of talking to her after the breakup and asking for her to give it another chance. She responded by saying that she thought we needed to make a clean break and break contact for a while. However, she did admit that she still loves me how i was before I got depressed and misses that guy a lot. I started the no contact rule today and I’m not sure if I should do 30 days or 45 days. Also, should i use the no contact rule until she texts me first or should I initiate the contact after 30 or 45 days?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2017

do atleast 30 days and then initiate contact after

David

July 11, 2017

Hey Amor, I just hit 1 week of no contact and it’s going pretty well. I’m a little concerned about the length of NC i chose due to having to go out of town for college again next month. I’m worried that I may not have enough time to carefully implement the other steps if I stick with 30 days. I would have about 16 or 17 days to go through the other steps after NC if I left it at 30 days. Should I change it to 21 or stick with 30?

Thanks!

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2017

do you mean once you’re out of town, you wouldn’t be going back? Because even if you shorten it, you would still be going out of town.. wouldn’t it look like you’re rushing things if you shorten nc and try to cram everything that you need to do in two weeks?

David

July 22, 2017

Once I go out of town, I’ll be back about once a month, which is what happened last year when she and I did long distance. If I were to shorten the NC to 21 days instead of 30, I would have about 4 weeks between ending NC and going out of town, as opposed to 17 days if I extended it to 30. I’ve improved myself, actively posted on social media, hung out with mutual friends, etc. Health, wealth, and relationships have all improved dramatically.

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 27, 2017

Ah.. I think you can do just 21..just continue improving yourself even after nc

David

July 29, 2017

Finished NC on Monday, and texted her “Oh my god! You’re not going to believe what just happened to me!” Tuesday afternoon. She had blocked my phone number, so I sent the message again via WhatsApp (which is helpful because it’s visible when she reads the message and the last time she has used the app.)

I haven’t gotten a response back yet, but she hasn’t opened the conversation to read the message either. I know for a fact that she has not blocked me. However, she is at least using the app once a day (I only check once a day to see if she’s read it). Should I wait until next Tuesday or Wednesday and try a different form of first contact text message? If I get no response from that, I was also wondering if I should treat the situation like a complete block and proceed from there.

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2017

Since we’re considering it a full on block, try after two weeks

Lionel

July 4, 2017

Hi. My gf broke up with me a month ago, she is on a trip abroad (she went on the end of May)and gets back here one month from now. She broke up with me one week after she went on the trip. I miss her a lot, I contacted her two weeks ago and she said she doesn’t see a future with me. I have been agonizaing over this idea and have been in no contact for two weeks again. Please give me some advice, i really want to be with her.

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2017

if you’re not actively improving yourself and in posting, restart the count of nc.

Brandon

July 2, 2017

My ex just broke up with me 9 days ago.. since then she has called me once and been really nice and she said how she isn’t doing good and has been really down, and I have called her once and we talked for almost an hour and she was nice and I could tell she missed me and I could tell she was still struggling if it was the right decision in her mind, but at the end she insisted she thinks the decision is better for both of us. I disagree of course. It’s been 2 days since we talked last, should I go into no contact or should I try and keep talking to her and talk us back together?

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2017

you should try no contact period..

Chris

June 28, 2017

Hi Chris and Amor

Just right off the bat very nice advice you have given with your full guide which I found pretty useful but let me explain my situation just in case I can get an inch of help more. Ive been in a relationship with a 16 year old girl (Im 17) and it was a distance relationship. We had very good conversations, she sent me lots of pictures and I did too. She broke up with me once due to the distance but she got back with me. I was always there for her fixing her up , flirting as a perfect boyfriend would do. Until yesterday and the day before that she seemed colder and colder and she said that im interested in someone else. She kept asking sorry and all that. I let her go without much drama and havent spoken to her since yesterday. What should I do to get her back if possible? :/

EGR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2017

do you want to try the advice above?

Mark

June 23, 2017

I tried the NC rule for 21 days. I emailed her ” Hey, I was cleaning my car and I found your gloves you left from camping. Also can I have my stuff back?” Was what I said wrong? She didn’t respond for a week already. I’m not sure what to do now I probably ruined my chances. When we first broke up she blocked me on everything and I cut ties from mutual friends so she can’t really “see” what goes on in my life if you know what I mean. Within the NC ice been improving myself and I want to show her somehow but I can’t.

EGR Team Member: Amor

Restart the nc, do at least 30 days and be active in posting in sites where the posts lasts because that’s your proof of improvement and moving on and that you’re not going to chase anymore

Mark

June 23, 2017

I tried the NC rule for 21 days. I emailed her ” Hey, I was cleaning my car and I found your gloves you left from camping. Also can I have my stuff back?” Was what I said wrong? She didn’t respond for a week already. I’m not sure what to do now I probably ruined my chances.

EGR Team Member: Amor

Restart the nc, do at least 30 days and be active in posting in sites where the posts lasts because that’s your proof of improvement and moving on and that you’re not going to chase anymore

Ricky

June 22, 2017

My girl friend and I used to fight frequently and I ended things with her. I realized I made a mistake and wanted to get back together but she said she cannot handle it anymore and she wants to be friends from now on. I want to get her back. I tried to convince her every way possible. I am not even sure if I want her back because she doesn’t want me back. I want to go on a non contact period because I realize that is the best way to get over her and even if I want to get back with her, it is my only chance. I want to stop talking to her but she keeps texting me “hey”. should I ignore her texts?