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Ready to Check In At the "Hotel" In the Morning

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

We are getting everything ready to check in to "Hotel Scott and While Children's Hospital" in Temple early early tomorrow morning! Our family has arrived so we already have extra hands on tap should we need help.

We have tried to explain to both boys what is going on but they are still too young to understand. However, they both pulled out their pretend doctor set today, for which I was glad. We will explain more to them both tomorrow when we are at the hospital.

Bennett can't eat or drink after midnight tonight. So, I am glad we have to be at the hospital so early tomorrow morning. We will wake him up in the morning and bring him to the hospital in his pajamas.

Oliver has made it very clear he wants to join us at the hospital. We'd prefer that he would stay with our family but we have learned from prior hospitalizations that it's best to keep Oliver with us, to let him see what we are doing and to help give him the confidence things will be ok.

When we were at the ER the other day, he and Daddy came into the room where Bennett was crying and there were lots of doctors and nurses around talking. Oliver leaned over to Brian and said, "Daddy, I'm scared."

Oliver is now able to articulate his feelings. This is important because he isn't just able to articulate it for himself but for Bennett too. So, we have begun the very beginning stages of explaining to both boys what is wrong with Bennett and why we have to go through what we have to go through.

I have struggled to articulate how I feel about Bennett's surgery tomorrow. Part of me is completely fine, not worried at all. The other part of me is really sad - confused, too, I think. Some moments I feel in control and confident about the world. Other times, I feel lost and at the whim of everything around me.

My prayer in this season of Christmas is for God to speak to me in a unique way as this Christmas certainly looks different than the way I am used to. I long to be in touch with joy, peace and hope during this time...even if there are very real parts of me that feel sadness, chaos and loss of hope.

Cystic Fibrosis does not know about Christmas time or holidays or family vacations. It does not know about hopes and dreams and desires. But I do. And I pray that God will reveal himself in a new way this season in the midst of this conflict.

3 Responses to “Ready to Check In At the "Hotel" In the Morning”

Oh, my Breck! Just reading about your December. I am SO SORRY! =( I have tears in my eyes. I really, really dislike CF and what it does to our kiddos!! I also may need to call you sometime soon (little Miss Rachel is having some issues related to this as well. We need to talk to a surgeon next week.=( icky stuff!!) Praying for you strength and comfort for you all. As well as a smooth travels for your family for a while hopefully!