Monday, August 23, 2010

No Shit is probably the first thing you thought when you read the title.

But let's be fair, you can't judge a book by its cover. Taco Bell say's they are trying a new concept and I am willing to give them a chance.. a chance to shoot them down.

AND to make it as hard as possible for them I went to my most hated Taco Bell in the world. The one in Buda, Texas. Without even ordering I already knew my tacos would be .03% meat filled. Proof here. The management at this Taco Bell cares about our health so much that they rather not properly fill their menu items with their meat product. I'm being sarcastic.

So, you are probably asking yourself If you hate that Taco Bell so much, why did you go there? Because deep down we really like it but we don't want to admit it. It's like picking at your gums, You know you shouldn't be picking at your gum but it just feels kinda good and you keep doing it. Same thing here. AND plus I had a few beers in me and things always seem like a better idea when you've had a few beers.

Anyway, back to the visit. The wife and I were headed home from my brothers house and it was kind of late. Erika stated she was hungry and felt like Taco Bell but figured we would hit up HEB or Jack in the Box because of my displeasure with the Buda Taco Bell. I was tipsy and cocky and blurted out "Hell No! Let's go to Taco Bell. I need to check out their new Craptina Tacos." We both giggled like school children at our silly wise cracks and started towards Taco Hell.

We pulled up to the drive through and we were greeted with the Cantina tacos sign. I started to laugh when I saw the sign because I knew there was NO WAY the tacos were going to look like that. Real Cantina tacos don't even look like that in the first place. Strike one Then came the voice over the intercom speaking perfect English "Hello and welcome to Taco Bell. Would you like to try one of our new Cantina tacos?" Strike two. I quickly replied yes but weren't ready to order yet. Erika made her decision and we placed our order. I can still remember Erika asking me "Are you sure you want to try those? I bet they don't even remotely taste like Taco Bell" Good, that's what I was hoping for. Erika played it safe and went with her usual.

We put our order in and in an instant we were headed home to try our bag of goodies.

On the way home I kept looking in the bag with anticipation. There they were. Silver Taco torpedoes in my plastic bag. What am I gonna get? Will it be a big taco? Will it fall flat? Will I actually be surprised? But logic kept telling me, "really? REALLY?"

We get home, I get prepped and place the tacos on our dinner table. "OK, Here I go" I half drunkenly told myself. I began to open the first taco and I can already hear the sad Price is Right trumpet in the back ground WAAA, WAAA, WAAAAAAA.

I seriously thought about just throwing them away but I had a job to do. I needed to tell you what they were actually like and how they actually tasted.

The first thing that came to my mind what "Hey Taco Bell, McDonalds called and they want their reconstituted onions back." The second thing that came to my mind was "What a piece of shit". Cantinas Tacos all over the world demand an apology.

In effort to get my point across, I did a comparison of what Taco Bell advertised to what I got.

Exhibit A. The Carnitas tasted best of the three but really doesn't say much. I added some Taco Bell Fire sauce. I understand that pictures are what makes you want to order them but the amount of meat in the taco that was served doesn't come close to what they advertise and they don't have that cantina/taco truck taste.

Exhibit B. The Chicken was plain. Plain and simple. I think it had more onions than it has chicken meat. I should have taken pictures of the tacos rolled up for the best view of how lazily these were put together.

Exhibit C. The beef taco had the most meat but that's not saying much. The beef was rubbery but was at least seasoned.... with something.

Really Buda Taco Bell? What gets me upset the most is that it seems like there was very little effort in putting these tacos together. Taco Bell takes on a new campaign, that will for surely be scrutinized, and they can't get their franchisees to get their employees to put their best effort forward when putting these tacos together? Don't try to claim you are the fourthmeal and then rip us off by giving us nothing. If you plan on getting us fat with the fourthmeal then stuff those damn tacos and GET US FAT!

To wrap it all up, anticipation was there but the Buda Taco Bell did a really poor job of execution. I was ready to like these tacos but disappointment reigned. They are right when they said these tacos would be different but these tacos didn't even give me my Taco Bell fix we need from time to time. We will always need a Taco Bell fix. And don't say you won't, like I stated before, We complain but we still eat it but I can guarantee that I won't be ordering these again.