Dumbass Pages

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Boobs - Nature's Sweater Puppies

I figured that the perfect subject for The Return of Dumbass News is boobs. Boobs are wonderful things . I love boobs. They provide nourishment to millions of babies around the world as they have throughout history. They also make tremendous sweater puppies during the right time of year. Nothing like a tight sweater holdin' those puppies up and ogling like a pervert observing a wonder of Nature. But even boobs can be taken too far.

For example...there's a dumbass Mom in the UK who was thoughtful enough to give " her daughter Poppy a $10,000 voucher for breast augmentation surgery for her seventh birthday, UK tabloid Closer reports." Poppy, the daughter, is SEVEN years old and she's gonna have a rack. What the fuck is the dumbass mother thinking? There is one stipulation here. Poppy cannot get her boobs until she's 16. If she naturally develops large hooters on her own, Poppy will receive other great prizes like a computer. I have a sneaky feeling that if Poppy ends up with bigguns through the natural way, she'll end up on AOL showing them to horny men around the planet on her brand new computer!

Maybe Poppy's mom has some effect on her daughter when it comes to fake tits and such. From the article, "
The 50-year-old has supposedly dropped more than $800,000 on her own plastic surgeries and plans to have her daughter watch her next series of treatments, slated for later this year. Burge remarked, "I want Poppy to see what will happen. Some people think it's controversial and I get angry when strangers say I'm a bad mother because I don't think there's any harm in giving her this gift."She added, ( I am shocked!- ed.) "Poppy is a normal kid who is good at sports and loves playing outside. Girls don't want Snow White and Cinderella any more....I'm just supporting her and making her dreams come true." It's clear to me now. Fake knockers and and a few hundred grand on cosmetic surgery, on "normal kids", of course, will make them popular and successful in life. Or a hooker with fake ta-tas who is "good at sports and loves playing outside". I'll bet.