Jeremy London exclusively tells RadarOnline.com he thought he was going to die during his terrifying kidnapping ordeal, during which he says he was forced to smoke crack.

And the Hollywood actor is rejecting speculation that he faked the frightening incident.

Breaking his silence on one of the most bizarre stories in recent memory, a shaken London says a routine trip to a restauarant in Palm Springs, California with his wife ended with him being held hostage at gun point.

“It’s been an absolute nightmare,” London, who starred in the hit TV shows Party of Five and 7th Heaven, tells RadarOnline.com exclusively in his first interview.

“We love Jeremy very, very much… but he’s lost,” said twin brother Jason, also an actor.

London’s mom begged him not “to be another statistic.”

Responding to the criticism, the actor became emotional during the exclusive interview, telling RadarOnline.com: “The worst part of this has been my family. We’ve had to put a cease and desist order on them and now I’m going to have to have a restraining order put on them. They went on TV and told a bunch of lies saying this [the kidnapping] never happened.

“I haven’t seen them in six months… they have no idea what’s going on.”