Description

"We sneak into the Dark Lord’s party and mingle amongst his evil partygoers all as part of a plan to kill the Dark Lord."

Summary

Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore have a plan to sneak into the Dark Lord's birthday party with a blade that can kill wizards permanently - the Blade of Vesco Halan - and take him out. Chunt can enter the party as himself as the Head of the Guards for the Dark Lord, but Arnie and Usidore have to sneak into the castle using invitations for two female guards the coincidentally happen to both be two all-beef patties named Patricia. Luckily, the Dark Lord’s party is themed “Heaps of Beef”. Usidore casts a spell to make Arnie and Usidore seem more feminine. Usidore says he was going to attend the party with his best friend, Aprel Füls, but he never showed. Arnie doesn't think he’s still coming, but Usidore is sure of it.

The Baron Ragoon opens the door to great them, not recognizing Arnie and Usidore. The Baron reveals that he knows a lot about Earth from the Dark Lord. Arnie almost blows his cover by asking the Baron for a red potion, before Chunt reminds him to “play it cool”. Once they’re inside, Arnie lays in on Usidore for flirting with the Baron, and reminds him that they have an objective at the party, but that they should still “enjoy themselves.” The three repeat “Play it cool, be careful. But have fun. But also, don’t have fun.” as their mantra going forward.

The three go up to Dripfang LeDesparé, the Chief Inquisitor of the Dark Lord and necromancer made up of 997 snakes, and Claudia the Witch, owner of the magic shop, Incense & Amulets, at the bar. Usidore says he and “Patricia” do a “twin act” where they dress all in yellow and act like babies, of which Dripfang and Claudia decline to see. Arnie claims to be much younger than “her twin”, inadvertently almost blowing their cover, but Usidore covers for him by saying their mother was pregnant for sixteen years, which is a good enough explanation for Dripfang. Usidore almost gives them away again by performing magic.

They excuse themselves to go speak to Evil Tannakin the Pinglet and the Baron. Arnie and Usidore claim to have come from different hometowns, again almost blowing their cover. They ask where the Dark Lord is, and the Baron says that he may or may not show up at all, as he is a frequent “ghoster” of parties. Tannakin and the Baron ask them to stay for the “murder orgy” or “morgy”. They say whoever orgasms first, gets murdered first. After, the Baron leaves for the kitchen after hearing they’re out of “barf stroganoff”.

The trio discuss their method of attack. Arnie leaves to go get a red potion despite Chunt and Usidore’s protests. Chunt and Usidore split up, with the later going to find Aprel and the former going to talk to Cockroach Clown, saying that they’ll meet back up in two minutes. Cue commercial break.

Arnie, Chunt, Dripfang, Claudia, Tannakin, and the Baron sit together in the kitchen. Arnie and Chunt are worried they will not get out before the morgy starts. Usidore comes back, saying he couldn’t find Apprel. Dripfang says he wants to go to the morgy early and then get tattoos, getting everyone riled up, and the trio decide that this is the perfect time to do something, because everyone is trashed. Usidore blows his cover for real by announcing himself as Usidore and his intentions to murder the Dark Lord. He stabs at Dripfang, only getting one snake. Baron is too trashed to get someone to take care of Usidore, and Usidore demands to know where the Dark Lord is. No one knows.

They all come to the conclusion that the only place they haven’t looked for him is outside. Usidore throws himself out the fourth story window, falling into the backyard. Arnie and Chunt say goodbye to Dripfang, Claudia, Tannakin, and the Baron and leave to catch up with Usidore.

Outside the trio sees a glowing body of water and move towards it, seeing a figure in the water. Usidore calls out to it, and the figure reveals himself as the Dark Lord. Usidore reveals his intentions to kill him; however, the Dark Lord confides to them that he had been waiting for them to arrive. The Dark Lord shows them that, using the pool, he can see where all the magic in Foon is concentrated, even that of the wizards. The problem is that he can’t see the magic of Spintax the Green. The trio try to hide that Spintax went to Earth, but the Dark Lord already knows he went to defeat the Void. The Dark Lord is worried that he has not come back yet. The Dark Lord, though he wants to rule Foon, does not want it destroyed. He proposes a truce between the two; if they can work together to defeat the Void, the Dark Lord will put a hold on his quest to enslave Foon and kill Arnie for now. Usidore can’t help but admit that he speaks the truth. The Dark Lord reveals that he knows that there are many magical items within Hogsface, but at the heart of the Vermilion Minotaur lies a weapon that is the only weapon powerful enough to stop the Void. He says he enslaved Hogsface and all of them with the hope that Arnie’s podcast gaining popularity on Earth would allow him to find the weapon and take it for himself, but he has no choice but to ask them for their help now.

The trio contemplate their choice. Usidore says they could take the deal, stop the void, and then kill the Dark Lord after using his power. The Dark Lord interrupts to say that his lackies are terrible, and he’s not interested in pulling strings anymore. He would give the trio control over Hogsface and all of his minions for the sole purpose of finding the weapon. They agree to the deal, and the Dark Lord disappears, taking the castle with him, causing the party guests to run out of the house all at once. The three celebrate their new power, talking about how all they need to do now is come up with a plan to make sure they can kill the Dark Lord after they defeat the void. In honor of their “achievement”, they allow themselves to shout the infamous phrase, “boys night!”.

In the after credits scene, a Series of Bats attempts to get into the party, and the bouncer can’t find him on the list. He gets in after admitting he is a plus one to his girlfriend, Alice Corn.