Be Her Perfect Guy

How to Be the Perfect Guy for Her

It's not enough to know what women want. You also have to know how to deliver it to them. So we at Cosmo asked our readers what makes for an ideal partner and, based on the results, came up with ways for you to completely rock her world

Luckily, being an amazing beau or husband doesn't require a lot of legwork. You simply have to know how women tick. That's where Cosmo came in. They surveyed more than 1,200 online readers and asked them some burning questions—everything from how manly you should be to the moves that will make her orgasm. The goal: Figure out exactly what women really want from men in their lives. Come on, you know you're curious. So read on . . . and thank us later.

Don't Obsess About Your Looks Sure, she might drool over a ridiculously hot guy, but that doesn't mean she needs to come home to one. When asked what the most important quality is in a beau, only 2% of Cosmo readers say looks. And if you're thinking, Well, yeah, that's because she wants a dude with boatloads of cash, you should know that money isn't such a big draw either. Just 3% say financial and career success matters the most in a relationship. 42% of Cosmo readers say what they really care about is a sense of humor, while 38% say sweetness. At a loss for how to play up your fun, nice-guy persona?

Cosmo Recommends:Roll with the punches. The waitress spilled water on your lap and that sucks, but reaming her out won't magically dry your pants. When you get worked up, it makes your girl uncomfortable—she'd prefer that you let the whole thing slide.

Make the most of a bad situation. As you know, not everything always goes according to plan. Rather than damning the gods, though, try to lighten the mood. Your car broke down? Suggest playing a game of truth or dare while waiting for the tow truck. The restaurant lost your reservation? Take her for a slice of pizza, joking that next time, it's her treat.

Show your goofy side. If you're not the king of witty repartee, that's okay—just let her see your silliness. When a man is able to be himself, a woman feels like she can relax and be herself as well.

Source: Denise Budden-Potts, Ph.D., psychologist in San Marcos, California, and founder of The Dating With Your Future In Mind seminars

Cheer Her Up If your girlfriend or wife is having a really crappy day, your first instinct might be to back away slowly—maybe you're not sure what to say, maybe you're afraid of suddenly and inexplicably provoking an outburst. But only 2% of our readers want to be left alone! So you have to be brave and stick it out with her.

Cosmo Recommends:When she's snippy: She may be bitching about what your stupid socks are doing on the floor, but inside, she's hurting. Let her know you're there for her by asking if something happened. 43% of Cosmo readers say that after a bad day, they want you to just sit and listen to them vent. But don't offer any solutions unless she asks for them.

When she's moping around: If you know what's been going on with her (like a sick relative), ask how she's feeling, but if her mood is out of nowhere, go with "Is everything okay? You seem sad." Even if she says, "I'm fine," follow up with "Well, I'd like to hear about it, so when you want to talk, I'm here."

If she really resists, she may not feel like recapping, so suggest a distraction like going bowling. 35% of Cosmo readers say they want you to come up with something fun when they're down in the dumps.

Be a Gentleman These days, you never can tell if pulling her chair out will yield an "Oh, thank you" or a "What, you didn't think I could do it myself?!" There's a reason it's complicated. Women need a little of both: 84% of Cosmo readers admit that while they want their guy to be a gentleman, they still like having a say in things.

Cosmo Recommends:Do: Open doors, help her put on her coat, and take her hand when she's getting out of the car.

Don't:Order for her, insist on dealing with her landlord, or book the doctor's appointment she still hasn't made.

Do:Play protector. 53% of women say that if a guy were being rude to her at a bar, she'd want you to defend her honor with words, compared with 37% who'd want you to pretty much do nothing. 10% say they'd want you to take a swing at the jackass.

Source: Relationship therapist Carolyn Bushong, author of Bring Back The Man You Fell In Love With