The blog for Die Shellsuit, Die! - an online music magazine and community covering all things alternative and a little in between too.
See the main site for reviews of films, music, gigs, interviews, competitions and post your thoughts in our forums.

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Review - Taio Cruz - Dirty Picture (Ft. Ke$ha) (Single)

Fuck you Ke$ha. Are you Prince? Did you write the Batman soundtrack? Discover Carmen Electra or Vanity? No. No you are not. So you may not have a symbol that is not a letter for your name. Not allowed.

Fuck your stupid pseudo slutty way of singing. I want to see you bare knuckle fight Peaches & the two girls from Gravy Train!!! They would kill you. I would pay to see that. How dare you be marketed at young teenage girls & make fucking sex noises & encourage girls to ’take a dirty picture’ and send it to someone.

That’s how Disney girls get busted. (Google it, go on, explain that in your browser to your girlfriend...) This single is hateful in every single way: Autotuned to all hell, Euphoria style build ups, rip off hook. Just awful.

Do you remember at the end of the 70’s when they burned all the disco records? Yeah? They should do that with this. Mass burnings.

Taoi Cruz, you may have a unique singing voice, but I can’t hear it, all I can hear is production. And you, you hideous little brat, you are date rape sprayed with glitter & make suffragettes weep in their graves. Stop being so happy that you are stupid. That should never ever be an aspiration for anyone.