最后的演讲

There’s a formality in academia that can’t be ignored, even if a man is busy with other things, like trying not to die.

It’s about dignity and self-esteem, which isn’t quite the same as vanity.

What makes me unique?

Her casual remark was a reminder about the accidental elements that play into both our arrival into life…and our departure into death.

"If you can dream it, you can do it.”

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.

The instinct in our house was never to sit around like slobs and wonder. We knew a better way: Open the encyclopedia. Open the dictionary. Open your mind.

I quote my father to people almost every day. Part of that is because if you dispense your own wisdom, others often dismiss it; if you offer wisdom from a third party, it seems less arrogant and more acceptable.

That’s what was so great about him. He encouraged creativity just by smiling at you. He loved to watch the spark of enthusiasm turn into fireworks.

When you’re screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they’ve given up on you.

There’s a lot of talk these days about giving children self-esteem. It’s not something you can give; it’s something they have to build.

When we send our kids to play organized sports—football, soccer, swimming, whatever—for most of us, it’s not because we’re desperate for them to learn the intricacies of the sport.

What we really want them to learn is far more important: teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, the value of hard work, an ability to deal with adversity. This kind of indirect learning is what some of us like to call a “head fake.”

It’s easy to look smart when you’re parroting smart people.

He was proof that, sometimes, the most impenetrable brick walls are made of flesh.

It has not always been easy to stay positive through my cancer treatment. When you have a dire medical issue, it’s tough to know how you’re really faring emotionally.

If it’s possible to be arrogant, optimistic and totally miserable all at the same time, I think I might have pulled it off: “Look, I’m going to find a way to be happy, and I’d really love to be happy with you, but if I can’t be happy with you, then I’ll find a way to be happy without you.”

Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to show how badly we want something.

My parents had raised me to recognize that automobiles are there to get you from point A to point B. They are utilitarian devices, not expressions of social status.

But the flip side of that is my belief that you don’t repair things if they still do what they’re supposed to do. Not everything needs to be fixed.

No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse. At the same time, it is often within your power to make them better.

Through the whole ordeal, I don’t think we ever said to each other: “This isn’t fair.” We just kept going. We recognized that there were things we could do that might help the outcome in positive ways…and we did them. Without saying it in words, our attitude was, “Let’s saddle up and ride.”

“Live in the moment.”

All my life, I’ve been very aware that time is finite. I admit I’m overly logical about a lot of things, but I firmly believe that one of my most appropriate fixations has been to manage time well. I’ve railed about time management to my students. I’ve given lectures on it. And because I’ve gotten so good at it, I really do feel I was able to pack a whole lot of life into the shortened lifespan I’ve been handed.

Time must be explicitly managed, like money. Ask yourself: Are you spending your time on the right things?

Time is all you have. And you may find one day that you have less than you think.

“I know you’re smart. But everyone here is smart. Smart isn’t enough. The kind of people I want on my research team are those who will help everyone else feel happy to be here.”

Luck is indeed where preparation meets opportunity.

Give yourself permission to dream. Fuel your kids’ dreams, too.

Earnestness is highly underestimated. It comes from the core, while hip is trying to impress you with the surface.

The fact that fashion goes out of fashion and then comes back into fashion based solely on what a few people somewhere think they can sell, well to me, that’s insanity.

Somehow, with the passage of time, and the deadlines that life imposes, surrendering became the right thing to do.

Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.

When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.

I love a lot of pop culture clichés, too. I don’t mind when my children watch Superman, not because he’s strong and can fly, but because he fights for “truth, justice and the American way.” I love that line.

It’s not how hard you hit. It’s how hard you get hit…and keep moving forward.

It’s a phrase worth considering at every brick wall we encounter, and at every disappointment. It’s also a reminder that failure is not just acceptable, it’s often essential.

Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.

A lot of people want a shortcut. I find the best shortcut is the long way, which is basically two words: work hard. Hard work is like compounded interest in the bank. The rewards build faster.

Another way to be prepared is to think negatively.

“When you go into the wilderness, the only thing you can count on is what you take with you.” And essentially, the wilderness is anywhere but your home or office. So take money. Bring your repair kit. Imagine the wolves. Pack a lightbulb. Be prepared.

Honesty is not only morally right, it’s also efficient. In a culture where everyone tells the truth, you can save a lot of time double-checking.

There is more than one way to measure profits and losses. On every level, institutions can and should have a heart.

If you can find your footing between two cultures, sometimes you can have the best of both worlds.

There are a few key moments in anyone’s life. A person is fortunate if he can tell in hindsight when they happened.

I mean, I don’t know how not to have fun. I’m dying and I’m having fun. And I’m going to keep having fun every day I have left. Because there’s no other way to play it.

My personal take on optimism is that as a mental state, it can enable you to do tangible things to improve your physical state.

As I see it, a parent’s job is to encourage kids to develop a joy for life and a great urge to follow their own dreams. The best we can do is to help them develop a personal set of tools for the task.

Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.

No material possessions can make up for a missing parent, and they can actually do harm in establishing a kid’s values.

All children need a fabric of people in their lives who love them, and that’s especially true for kids who’ve lost a parent.

Many cancer patients say their illness gives them a new and deeper appreciation for life. Some even say they are grateful for their disease. I have no such gratitude for my cancer, although I’m certainly grateful for having advance notice of my death. In addition to allowing me to prepare my family for the future, that time gave me the chance to go to Carnegie Mellon and give my last lecture. In a sense, it allowed me to “leave the field under my own power.”

It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.