Force or coerce you to engage in unwanted acts, including sexual acts?

If you are leaving an abusive relationship and have or are getting an Order of Protection or an injunction Prohibiting Harassment due to domestic violence, this sheet will give you some options and suggestions to help maintain your safety.

The Facts

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. Now may be the time to think about ways to make yourself safer.

When someone with whom you have an intimate relationship uses physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, harassment or stalking to control your behavior, they are committing domestic violence.

Each year one million women suffer nonfatal violence by an intimate partner.

It is estimated that within a 12-month period, four million adult women in America experience a serious assault by an intimate partner.

Almost one out of three adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during their adult life.

Violence against women occurs in 20% of dating couples.

It is estimated that 3.3 million children are exposed to domestic violence each year.

For additional assistance concerning your safety, call Renew at (970) 565-2100 to discuss and develop a safety plan. In the meantime, these tips may help you.

During a Violent Outburst

If you are in an argument….

Leave/stay away from the kitchen or other rooms with weapons.

Stay out of rooms without exits, like the bathroom or a closet.

If possible get to a room with an exit and/or phone.

Develop a code word or signal for friends, children and neighbors to call the police.

Call 9-1-1 or the local emergency number.

Teach your children to call 9-1-1.

Use your instincts

For added safety, you can program 9-1-1 into the auto-dial on your phone.

Have a Protection Order

If you have a protective order…

Always keep at least one copy with you at all times.

If your abuser violated the order call 9-1-1 (you have the right to ask that a police report be filed).

Give a copy of the order and a picture of the defendant to security at your job/school.

If the children are included on the order, give a copy of the order to their school, daycare or babysitter

If You Plan To Leave

If you think you may want to leave, a careful plan is needed to insure safety. Do not let your abuser know of your plans; act as if things are unchanged.

It is important to organize identification cards, money, keys and any needed legal documents so they are available should you leave in a hurry. The following are suggested items to keep together in case you leave.

Drivers License/Picture ID

Social Security Cards/Numbers

Welfare Identification

Keys

Immunization Records

Birth Certificates

Health Benefit Cards

Address Book

Money/Credit Cards/Checkbook

Children’s favorite toy/blanket

Pack a bag with money, keys and clothing and leave it at someone’s house. Know the fastest exit from your home. Know the closest phone to call for help.

If You Leave

Leaving an abusive relationship is a very difficult step, one of courage and strength. This step can also be dangerous if you do not plan in advance to maintain safety.

The following are suggested actions you can take in order to maintain safety once you have left an abusive relationship.

You can obtain a protective order for yourself personally.

Your boss can obtain a protective order for the workplace.

Tell friends, neighbors, daycare/babysitter and coworkers that you are no longer with your abuser so they can screen your calls or call the police if your abuser shows up.

Provide your daycare/babysitter with a list of people who have permission to pick up your child.

Change the locks on your doors and install a security system.

Avoid social places or stores that you frequented while with your abuser.

Most important, if you are feeling down, upset, confused or are considering returning to the abusive relationship, call Renew or the hotline number. They can help you talk about your feelings and safe options should you return.