ok, charlie, as I said earlier, I happened to stumble across (quite by accident, I assure you! ) the shadow thief cellar key. mixed it up with my shadow cellar laundry room key. Will trade shadow thief cellar key inextricably bound to totally useless shadow cellar laundry room door for Kortulmaks crystal, as have found individual who desperatley needs to let the sun shine in where it never has before,and am hoping refractive coefficient of crystal and big riot police flashlight will have the desired effect on him. Offer urgent, as individual may suffer from involuntary disappearence soon if light not shed where it needs to so he may find his cranium occular implants of understanding.

I've tried to find the original as there were a lot of funny posts by a lot of people on there and some may like to read the "whole" thread. I also happen to think it transposed better in the old style but what the heck, it's nice to see it at the top of the "bestsellers" list still. Thanks to ALL you guys who made writing this piece of shite worthwhile in the first place.

JJ I'm considering your request but don't have time to properly rip the piss out of it yet. I shall return and with an equally shite proposition for you at some stage. I have some outstanding shite enquiries on the old thread too that also require laughing at and hopefully I should be able to offload some of my shitier shite to those foolish or mentally deficient enough to want to deal with me on anything greater than a frivolous or insincere manner...fingers crossed.