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Sometimes I really hate being a black woman, especially when I think about the overall representation of us.

Desperate. Spiteful. Petty. Weak. Selfish.

Black Women who uplift each other are RARE. Yes we should look at the man who portray us this way with side eyes but we should also look at the women who perpetuate the perception of us. After all, they are not pulling these descriptions out of thin air.

Why is it that a black woman is more likely to help a black man get on other than a black female? (The terms of “On” can be defined later lol.) And a black man is more likely to put a white man on other than anyone black. (Again, more on that later.)

I have reached out to so many black women in my field for advice and only two have ever reached back out to me. Why? Why is it predesigned for us to be petty and caddy towards each other? is it basketball wives and love & hip hop? Was it the way we were raised? Is it fear that the person we help out will become more successful than us? I don’t think I’ll ever understand.

Females will beef with a girl over a guy that was playing the both of them, then forgive the guy and hate the female forever. Baby mama drama, ratchetry, bitches & hoes, all things that are just natural when it comes to us but I feel like no one ever examines why or even attempts to put forth the effort to implement a change to it.

Natural girls judge the girls that perm their hair, girls that perm their hair turn their nose up to the women that don’t but we’re both black and police will still shoot your son or brother dead in the street and not give a f*ck whether your hair is straightened or not.

These terms we use to separate ourselves from one another “Weird” “I’m different” “I’m mixed” Getting piercings and tattoos etc, but we are still all black women.

Smh. It’s so ingrained in us that I doubt it’ll ever change in my life time and I’m only 23. ✌️

The journey to success separates the people that really want it from the people that just do it.

This is the part they should tell you about when You’re chasing your dreams. How you’ll feel stagnant, out of place and occasionally feel like a failure when things aren’t moving the way that they could be. In all honesty, since the new year started I’ve been back and forth in my feelings. I’ve been trying to acquire patience, but sometimes it feels like it’s a voice in the back of my head asking me just what it is I think I’m waiting on.

I believe in speaking things into existence. I meditate when I feel like there is nothing else I can do. But MAN ish just be wack. At one point I could measure my progress every month and see how close I was getting to where I wanted to be, cause every month I was a tad bit closer even if it was by an inch. Every month I actually DID something towards my dream. But I have not done anything towards my dream in six months. Maybe more, and for a person that’s use to doing something towards it all of the time that is a long time. I’m so stressed. I haven’t left my house since January 1st.

Playing phone tag with people that “believe” or so they say. Those open ended “Yea, I’ma call you right back.” and the “I’ma see what I can do.” Oh, and the being broke part is the absolute worst.

I guess the outcome that you want never comes the way that you want it to, or with whom you want it to. I recently watched The Secret and one of the quotes that stuck with me was

Only focus on the what and not the how.

Meaning that by focusing on the outcome, the path will reveal itself. Out of everything in that documentary, that sticks with me the most and I don’t know why. But I think the line is really powerful.

So Funk Master Flex released a mixtape titled Who you mad at me or yourself? Available exclusively on his mobile phone app. I haven’t listened to the entire project yet but this song stood out to me, you get five guesses on why. lol. Check out J. Cole – Maine on Fire below:

I try to support my hometown Flint, Michigan as much as I can. The video below is a promo video for a clothing line called “Westside Society” posted simply because it was a creative way to promote a fashion line. You can tell a lot of thought and planning went into the project. Check out the video below and be sure to visit westsidesociety.com for all things Westside society. (Filmed and Edited by Lavantae Johnson AKA UnboxedThoughts)

Yesterday was the anniversary of B.I.G’s death and unfortunately I was too busy to post something then. But I did watch Notorious last night, it was only fitting. So below is one of my favorite B.I.G songs, keep in mind he was almost before my time. (I’m 20)

“People who claim that they’re evil are usually no worse than the rest of us… It’s people who claim that they’re good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of.” – Gregory Maguire

This post might be a tad bit asshole – esque just cause I’m sleepy. Yesterday I heard the quote “I hear you be poking at people on twitter” lmao. I don’t know if it’s any truth to that, but I know who the person was that told him that and all I can do is smh. I hate talking about twitter by the way. I rarely read my timeline so, if I tweet something that you feel is a subtweet, maybe it’s just your guilty ass conscience talking lol.

“Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult than to understand him.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I’m tired of hearing that I am a bad person by people that have had less than two conversations with with me, and there’s nothing I hate more than a fake smile in my face. If you don’t like me. That’s fine, just don’t speak on me, it’s kind of tasteless. I don’t know why people don’t like me, ok well actually I do. When people expect you to kiss their ass and you don’t, problems quickly occur. I know that the industry I’m in revolves around a lot of ass kissing, and I’ll happily cross that bridge when I get there but I refuse to kiss the ass of someone that lives in Flint, and I don’t expect anyone to kiss mine. Why can’t we just co-exist as equals? Is it my age? *shrugs* Somebody has to be the villain I guess. Time to embrace it.

Hmm… I would say my high school graduation but I was so “Eh, Whatever” that day so, I guess I’ll have to go with the way I felt on my way to SXSW last year, when we were loading up the vans and I’m standing less than a few feet away from Lyric Da Queen and Jon Connor, and I’m literally cheesing from ear to ear on the inside like “Wow, this is my life.” Doing something that I always wanted to do. I felt a sigh of relief shift throughout me because up until that moment I had always… I don’t wanna say I doubted myself.. but I had my worries. It’s kind of hard to explain, but being there on that day with those people let me know that I was on the right path, and even though I still have a long way to go, that experience was really a step in the right direction.