You Are So Brave & Quiet, I Forget You Are Suffering

Dearest Andrew,

Nine years ago you saved my life. Unfortunately it also happens to be last time I saw you, too. To top it all off, until a year or so ago I couldn’t remember much of our seven years spent together, (or unfortunately the seven years that followed 🍷😵💊). But it’s all good – I remember now and I survived it. I’ve survived a lot, actually. And you know how? Every time it would become almost too much I would think of the strongest person I know – that’s you. I would think of what you had to endure and I endure. I think that’s what I want you to know most….that your life meant more than you ever thought possible and your fight saves me everyday – which is ironic because towards the end you mostly believed that you were so much less important and that you were weak. When you died, I was relieved for you because you couldn’t catch a break here on earth and I quickly learned to cling to every single moment before it ever becomes a memory. In other words, I understand why you had to go and I am so so happy you were here. I’ll keep trying to make you proud.