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He is the Gift

A few months ago, I downloaded the Timehop app on my phone. I look forward to the daily reminders and pictures that bring old memories back to life.

Last week I was surprised when I read -

After I read it, my heart broke - I couldn’t remember her singing, and my heart broke even more when I realized I no longer remembered her tender little voice. For about a week, I wracked my brain, hoping to remember, which led to me having a dream about Preslee. It was only the second dream I’ve had with her in it since her death, and I woke up remembering things I had forgotten. One of which was hearing her say, “Momma.” – which I felt was a gift.

(Christmas morning, 2009)

As I’ve pondered about Preslee over the past week, I can’t help but feel an incredible amount of gratitude for this Christmas season. Though each December I feel the sting of a little girl missing on her Birthday and Christmas, I’m thankful for a Heavenly Father who blessed the world with the first gift that changed the world forever – His son.

As a mom, I hope to keep Christ as our focus this month, and I feel Ledger has finally reached an age to begin to understand. I so desperately want Ledger not only to discover, but embrace the gift – I want Christ to be more than just a story.

Christ is the gift, and because of Him, I can continue to dream about all that is missing in our home. I can explain to Ledger when he’ll be able to meet his sister, because just yesterday he became confused while at the cemetery, and asked, “Is Preslee at the cemetery or in heaven?” Luckily, Joseph F. Smith taught:

“The body will come forth as it is laid to rest, for there is no growth or development in the grave. As it is laid down, so will it arise, and the changes to perfection will come by the law of restitution. But the spirit will continue to expand and develop, and the body, after the resurrection, will develop to the full stature of man.” (1) Therefore, I’ll continue to dream about the day Pat and I, along with our boys, will be reunited with an 18 month old little girl. She’ll be exactly the same age as she was when we last saw her. And maybe, just maybe, when I pick up our blonde hair, blue eyed little girl for first time, she’ll turn around and say, “Momma.” (Christmas 2009)

And it’s possible because of the first Christmas gift we were given.Our Savior.

Wishing you a peaceful Holiday season.

Love,The Sullengers

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Its only been three nights, but after stumbling across this Christmas Advent Calendar, the daily scriptures have led to some very sweet conversations right before bedtime with Ledger. I thought I’d share for any of you looking to do the same.

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comments:

This is so beautiful. I sit her and read this and have tears in my eyes. You have such a beautiful family! Preslee was lucky to.have and Pat as her parents. Your truly blessed. Sending you lots.of.love and prayers

Made me cry Ashlee. I've been away from my little girl for 36 years. I too look forward to the day I get to hold my 9 month 22 day old baby girl. Love the quote - I've never read that one before. Thanks.

You have such an amazing gift of being able to write such beautiful yet, powerful words. This post has brought me such peace and gratitude and I am so thankful you share such personal feelings because it truly helps those of us that grieve. Thank you!

Hi, we're the Sullengers! Life turned upside down for us in 2010 when we lost our daughter in an accidental drowning. Since then, we've documented our highs (life with all five of our kids) and our lows (struggles with grief) but amongst everthing we've experienced, we know as long as we hold on to one another we can get through anything that comes our way. Read More. . .