Punch Shots: Surly Santa insults kid's favorite team

So Santa is a belligerent hockey fan. Not surprising, considering the North Pole is surrounded by hockey hotbeds like Canada, Russia and Norway.

Mr. Claus certainly is not a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, either. At least that's what he told a 3-year-old boy who came to visit him at the Lowe's Toronto Christmas Market Wednesday.

The boy's mother said this Santa imposter first insulted his plaid (and, I might add, very cozy looking) jacket.

"The first thing he tells my son is, 'Oh, you look like Paul Bunyan,'" she told the Toronto Sun. What 3-year-old knows who Paul Bunyan is, anyway?

"Then he said, 'Oh, you're wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs (hat), you shouldn't be wearing that, they suck,'" she continued. "At that point, I took my son and told him we should go, Santa isn't being very good today." The youngster reportedly cried the whole way home.

Well kids, rest assured, this was not Santa, but someone pretending to be him, and he's since been fired.

The real Santa isn't stupid enough insult a child's favorite hockey team, let alone the home team of the city IN WHICH HE'S WORKING. If he said the Montreal Canadiens suck he might have been given a raise.

In keeping with polite Canadian stereotypes, the woman and her son left without making a scene. This never would have happened in Philadelphia. If it did, the fake Santa would have been wishing for his two front teeth for Christmas (and probably most of the rest of them, too). Besides, we all know Santa's a Flyers fan.