Remember to give thanks

"What do you say?" my nephew prodded. "What do you say to Aunt Donna?" He was talking to his 18-month-old son. We were just sitting down to lunch at my mother's house after church Sunday.

Donna Smith

"What do you say?" my nephew prodded. "What do you say to Aunt Donna?" He was talking to his 18-month-old son. We were just sitting down to lunch at my mother's house after church Sunday. It was time to eat, and the little fellow was hungry. But as I lifted him to a seat at the kitchen table, it was obvious that the seat would never work. Without a high chair or a booster seat, we would have to make some adjustments. So I went into the bedroom, grabbed a pillow, and proceeded to make him a makeshift high chair so he could reach the table.At his father's urging, his sweet little dimpled son said, "Dane doo.""You're welcome," I replied.I couldn't help but smile. I knew that at that very moment in time that hundreds, maybe even thousands of other parents were urging their own children to say the very same thing, coaxing them with the exact same question. "What do you say?" I remember asking my own sons that question as soon as they could string a few words together. "I want gulp," my middle son would declare as he pointed to the cups in the cabinet. "What do you say?" I would ask as I handed him a cup of juice. "Dane doo," he would reply."Dane doo," for the juice soon turned into "thank you" for the toy monster truck, and later, "thanks" for the car and the gas money to drive that car. As I watched my little great nephew "dane doo" to his mamaw for the juice, and "dane doo" to his daddy for the ball, I realized that as adorable and sweet as he is, he probably would never have said "dane doo" to any of us, for any of those things, had he not been taught.I have been taught to say "thank you" myself. I remember my parents urging with the same question that my nephew used to urge his little boy. When I was just a little girl, my parents insisted that I thank my grandparents for the gifts that they gave me for Christmas and for my birthday, and all the other things in between. But I also remember that most of the time, a simple "thank you" was not good enough. Not only would I tell them thank you, but I was also expected to write a thank you note, just to make sure they knew how grateful I was for the things they did for me and the things they gave me.I was taught at home and at church to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thessalonians 5:18) and to "… give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, and his steadfast love endures forever!" (Psalm 107:1) My parents modeled "giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Ephesians 5:20)About a week ago in this season of thanksgiving I received a message from a lady who renewed the spirit of thankfulness that my parents worked with such diligence to instill in me as a child. It also reminded me of how many of those lessons that we forget, or at least take for granted as we grow older. The message read, "I enjoyed sitting with your mother and mother-in-law yesterday" (at a Christian women's meeting). "How blessed you are! They were so caring and gracious to each other!"How blessed indeed, not only that my mother and my mother-in-law are beautiful Christian women and great friends, but that my husband's family and my family have always been kind and considerate of each other. I realized that all the words in the world could never express my gratitude to our families for their love and devotion through the years.But my blessings certainly don't end there. As I glanced over at my daughter-in-law singing, "Give thanks with a grateful heart," at the Thanksgiving family night service at church, it occurred to me that her family was just as kind and gracious to my only married son as my husband's parents have been to me. She is her parents' only child, and yet they are so gracious and giving during the holidays. In the two years that she has been married to my son, we have all been able to enjoy many special times with our children.I was washing dishes the other night when I overheard a conversation between this same son and his dad. "Dad," my son said, "I was talking to some guys that I went to college with the other day. They were talking about their student loans. Dad, one was talking about paying $700 a month for 20 years to pay off that loan. Twenty years, Dad. Yeah, he went to school for a long time, but I never thought about that when you and Mom paid to send me to college. Dad, you set me up to be successful. I couldn't have what I have or be where I am today without you." In my mind, I could hear myself ask that little curly-haired towhead a question. "What do you say?" "Dane doo, Daddy." "Thank you, Dad." And thank you, too, my Heavenly Father, for reminding me once again of all the blessings in my life for which I am truly grateful.Donna Tobin Smith is pianist and Sunday school teacher at Bethel United Methodist Church in Thomasville.