Scott Raab goes to the mountaintop and comes down with a prediction: The Red Sox will sweep the Christian Rockies in four games.

Scott Raab: Eh. I can't get manage to get myself worked up enough to root for the Rockies or the Sox. A bunch of Bible-thumping goyim playing in a park named to honor the worst beer ever brewed in America by crypto-Nazis, versus a club with every advantage enjoyed by the Yankees -- except for playing in a great city. Are they lovable? Sure -- but only if compared to John Kerry and Mike Dukakis.

As for the baseball itself, I actually heard Steve Phillips on ESPN say that the Rox have the offensive edge going into the Series because they have more 100-RBI guys than the Sox do. I guess Manny didn't make the cut because he only had 88 during the regular season and he's obviously not in any kind of groove these days. Still, I'm gonna disagree with the former Mets GM. The Red Sox can hit a little bit -- even Manny.

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But even if we call the offenses even -- the Rockies have a very nice lineup indeed, patient and deep, but no way did an 8-day layoff help their hitters -- the differences in pitching depth and quality aren't subtle. Boston's starters are better slot by slot, likewise the back end of their bullpen, and Josh Beckett's peers right now are on a wall in Cooperstown.

Both clubs play great defense, both run the bases well, and both dig long sunset walks on the beach, puppies, and guns. So I'm going with the Red Sox. To sweep. Five games, tops.

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Scott Raab:"Jesus, what is there to root for over there in Denver?"

Did you see what Eric did in yesterday's post? He just brought up Jesus. (Or, as we like to say in the Blue States, Jeebus.) King of Kings. The Nazarene. Manny the Carpenter. The Savior, the Redeemer, the Only-Begotten, the Prince of Peace, the Guy with More Nicknames than Babe Ruth. Him.

I gotta say, I'm not a huge fan. Don't get me wrong here: He had talent, and he made the most of it, and he was my favorite kind of player -- the kind who leaves everything out there on the field. But if you're selling the idea that God had Himself a Kid, stop right there -- because I ain't buyin'.

Look, it's not just because I'm a Jew. (Anyhow, I'm a Reconstructionist Jew, about as far from a literalist when it comes to the real Bible as you can get.) And it's not about keeping the mono in monotheism, because you can make a solid argument -- I'm not gonna buy it, either, but I can see the point in it -- that monotheism has crippled humankind, fraternity-of-manwise. It's hard for the big team to turn the crucial game-saving double-play (the saddest of all possible words: Yahweh to Jesus to Allah), if the infielders are busy loathing, torturing, and killing each other in homage to their faith's particular vision of the Commish.

Simply put, I just can't past the Jesus thing as a narrative construct. I mean, I'm cool with JC as God's son in the same vein that I'm down with Pallas Athena popping out of Zeus's brow. You want to walk in Christ's sandals down the path of menschood, be my guest; he was one hell of a guy. Home-school the kids, spread the Good News, dance with snakes: fine by me. Just don't ask me to accept your interpretation of myth as Truth, and don't tell me that hanging the image of your God from a cross -- and wearing it around your neck -- isn't idol worship. No sale.

Which brings us back to Colorado's crew, a group of guys who aren't too humble to tell you just how humble they are. CEO Charlie Monfort and manager Clint Hurdle staggered to Jesus after many years of heavy drinking, but I can't hold it against 'em, because I'm an alcoholic, too, and also because they haven't gone and FUBARed the Middle East, something reborn-Christian-ex-lushes have been known to do. And Dan O'Dowd, the GM, was quoted thus back in 2006:

"You look at some of the games we're winning. Those aren't just a coincidence. God has definitely had a hand in this."

and

"We don't just go after Christian players. That would be unfair to others. We go after players of character."

So all in all, it's probably no coincidence, either, that the Rockies feature a ton of white guys, or that Todd Helton wears a cross the size of (all together now) Don Zimmer's head, or that they lead the league in chapel attendance, or that a lot of folks in the chattering class are taking a lot of pleasure in pointing out all of the above -- in tones ranging from grievous outrage to bitter contempt to condescending mockery.

Not me. Christians clearly have no patent on self-righteousness, on bigotry, and on belittling other human beings solely on the basis of their belief-system (and by the way, if I ever again use the term "belief-system," just plant your shoe in my scrotum). I have no problem respecting the Colorado Rockies for building a championship team around a vision of 'character' as they define it. I don't even have any qualms about Dan O'Dowd thinking that he's sitting in God's hand: Dan O'Dowd has been a silly, floundering fuck of a GM for many years, and illuminating that Truth requires no faith in the divine at all.

I do, however, have a problem with LaTroy Hawkins testifying that the Rox have stayed sharp by playing intrasquad games. If playing intrasquad games meant diddly-shit, LaTroy would be Goose Gossage -- and the Nazarenettes would have a prayer against the Sox. But LaTroy isn't, and they don't, and that's a Truth you can take to those Las Vegas moneylenders.