10 Rotten Moments From the Matrix Sequels

A stylish mix of action, philosophy and cutting-edge special effects, 1999’s The Matrix represents the rare feat of a Hollywood movie getting everything right. But while the original film dazzled the eye and sparked imagination, the follow-ups, TheMatrix Reloaded and TheMatrix Revolutions, generated colossal disappointment by delivering wasted opportunities, forgettable characters and lifeless action sequences.

This Friday, September 2nd, at 8P, IFC is airing The Matrix Revolutions (36% on Rotten Tomatoes!) as part of our “too rotten to miss” movies. (The less rotten installment The Matrix Reloaded kicks things off at 5P.) Why are the Matrix sequels so “rotten”? These moments could be part of the problem…

1. Every moment spent in Zion

Detractors of Reloaded and Revolutions are quick to point to the infamous Rave Scene as the de facto reason why the sequels are sub par. But we’ll do you one further: Every scene in Zion is a drag. On paper, a subterranean stronghold of humanity’s last survivors pitted against the surface-level machines sounds like a pretty darn interesting place. It isn’t. It’s drab and charmless, filled with dull characters, and yes, that Rave Scene is interminable.

2. Neo the Almighty

The original film ended with a perfect bow: After seeing the Matrix for what it is, Neo vows to save humanity and takes flight, effectively making him as powerful and invincible as Superman. From there, where can you go? Apparently, watching this invulnerable character battle foes who have no hope in defeating him — unless he’s in flesh-and-blood form in Zion, and we all know how fun that is. That leaves the only interesting setting in the franchise (the actual Matrix) as a place without peril for Neo. So to keep viewers invested, the risk has to fall on mortal characters who aren’t The One, and even that’s taken away when…

3. Neo resurrects Trinity with the greatest of ease

As if becoming a bulletproof superhero wasn’t enough, Neo swoops in and saves Trinity’s life like an all-powerful deity. What was first foreshadowed as a free fall to certain doom, Trinity’s double-Glock header out of a high rise is revealed to be all in the day’s work for Neo. He casually sweeps a bullet out of her heart, restarts it like a defibrillating Miyagi, and they embrace as if nothing had happened. And in terms of risk or consequence, truly nothing did.

4. The Burly Brawl: CGI Gets Lapped

In 1999, The Matrix set the bar for how innovative CGI could be and how well it could supplement, rather than supplant, a story. And in the four years between then and Reloaded, movies like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter expanded on those principles and left the bar higher than the sequels could clear. In a post-Gollum 2003, Reloaded’s special effects packed less of a punch, didn’t heighten what was already visually possible, and certainly couldn’t drive or substantiate the plot. So a fight between Neo and a hundred Agent Smiths meant absolutely zilch if it’s shoddy in both drama and technical specs.

5. Diabolical laughter and cake orgasms

The first Matrix had its lighthearted moments (the Wile E. Coyote fall and “I know kung fu” come to mind), but they fit tonally and didn’t verge into “goofy” territory. (We’ll do our best to forget the “Kansas is going bye-bye” line.) Then came the sequels. Between Hugo Weaving’s over-the-top villain (“Me, me, me.” “Me, too.”), Commander Lock’s Rambo scream and cake orgasms, the sequels were silly in all the wrong ways.

6. Muddied philosophies

Whereas the original movie deftly moved between different schools of thought and theology, the sequels threw a bunch of unconnected and uncoordinated philosophies together like a toppled rack of CliffsNotes. Causality gets an awkward demonstration by the Merovingian (the aforementioned cake orgasm), the Architect stumbles through Buddhist reincarnation without substance, and Revolutions practically foregoes all philosophical subtext (save martyrdom) in favor of a live-action Mechwarrior game. Speaking of which…

7. Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots

It all comes down to this. This is what the whole franchise was leading up to: The battle for Zion and the future of humanity. And for the grandest set piece in the entire trilogy, giant mechs shooting at whirring sentinels isn’t enough to generate a shred of interest, concern, or suspense. In the real-world, real-stakes counterpart to the Neo vs. Smithland Fight, the Wachowskis sacrificed story for spectacle and intimacy for scope, leaving the audience unfazed when Lock is killed and a teen opens a gate.

8. Trinity dies in an afterthought

Even in the first Matrix, the Neo-Trinity romance never does feel right. But the relationship completely falls flat in the second and third movies by failing to justify itself at all in terms of character and chemistry. And that’s no better illustrated than the dry and halfhearted send-off Trinity is given midway through Revolutions. Without a meaningful sense of loss, there’s more emotional resonance when the Keymaker is killed.

9. The Final Fight

Increase the Burly Brawl by thousands and yet somehow reduce the feeling of conflict, and you have the recipe for the final battle between Neo and Agent Smith(s). Hundreds of millions of dollars and countless man hours were devoted to spinning wheels before reaching an inevitable conclusion — one which could’ve happened at any point for equally arbitrary reasons. Neo is defeated and absorbed because that’s the only way Smith can be defeated. Why? Doesn’t matter. Now watch this slow-motion punch!

10. The Wachowskis can’t match our imaginations

At the very moment a sequel to the first Matrix was greenlit, our collective imagination ran wild. From multi-leveled Matrixes to time paradoxes to a complete upending of reality, fan theories pushed the boundaries of The Matrix universe to endless possibilities. Too bad the Wachowskis chose lackluster paths on the way to a wholly unsatisfying finishing line. The first movie told us to free our minds. If only the creators behind Reloaded and Revolutions took their own advice.

Videos

Make The Holidays ’80s Again

Enjoy the holiday cheer Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

Posted by Ben Cochran on November 30thPhoto Credit: Everett Collection

Whatever happened to the kind of crazy-yet-cozy holiday specials that blanketed the early winter airwaves of the 1980s? Unceremoniously killed by infectious ’90s jadedness? Slow fade out at the hands of early-onset millennial ennui? Whatever the reason, nixing the tradition was a huge mistake.

A huge mistake that we’re about to fix.

Announcing IFC’s Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special, starring Tony Hale. It’s a celeb-studded extravaganza in the glorious tradition of yesteryear featuring Bridget Everett, Jo Firestone, Nick Thune, Jen Kirkman, house band The Dap-Kings, and many more. And it’s at Joe’s Pub, everyone’s favorite home away from home in the Big Apple.

The yuletide cheer explodes Wednesday December 21 at 10P. But if you were born after 1989 and have no idea what void this spectacular special is going to fill, sample from this vintage selection of holiday hits:

Andy Williams and The NBC Kids Search For Santa

The quintessential holiday special. Get snuggly and turn off your brain. You won’t need it.

A Muppet Family Christmas

The Fraggles. The Muppets. The Sesame Street gang. Fate. The Jim Henson multiverse merges in this warm and fuzzy Holiday gathering.

Julie Andrews: The Sound Of Christmas

To this day a foolproof antidote to holiday cynicism. It’s cheesy, but a good cheese. In this case an Alpine Gruyère.

Star Wars Holiday Special

Okay, busted. This one was released in 1978. Still totally ’80s though. And yes that’s Bea Arthur.

Pee Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special

Pass the eggnog, and make sure it’s loaded. This special is everything you’d expect it to be and much, much more.

Joe’s Pub Presents: A Holiday Special premieres Wednesday December 21 at 10P on IFC.

A Guide to Coping with the End of Comedy Bang! Bang!

After five seasons and 110 halved-hour episodes, Scott Aukerman’s hipster comedy opus, Comedy Bang! Bang!, has come to an end. Fridays at 11 and 11:30P will never be the same. We know it can be hard for fans to adjust after the series finale of their favorite TV show. That’s why we’ve prepared this step-by-step guide to managing your grief.

Step One: Cry it out

It’s just natural. We’re sad too.

Step Two: Read the CB!B! IMDB Trivia Page

The show is over and it feels like you’ve lost a friend. But how well did you really know this friend? Head over to Comedy Bang! Bang!’s IMDB page to find out some things you may not have known…like that it’s “based on a Civil War battle of the same name” or that “Reggie Watts was actually born with the name Theodore Leopold The Third.”

Step Three: Listen to the podcast

One fascinating piece of CB!B! trivia that you might not learn from IMDB is that there’s a podcast that shares the same name as the TV show. It’s even hosted by Scott Aukerman! It’s not exactly like watching the TV show on a Friday night, but that’s only because each episode is released Monday morning. If you close your eyes, the podcast is just like watching the show with your eyes closed!

Step Four: Watch brand new CB!B! clips?!

The best way to cope with the end of Comedy Bang! Bang! is to completely ignore that it’s over — because it’s not. In an unprecedented move, IFC is opening up the bonus CB!B! content vault. There are four brand new, never-before-seen sketches featuring Scott Aukerman, Kid Cudi, and “Weird Al” Yankovic ready for you to view on the IFC App. There’s also one right here, below this paragraph! Watch all four b-b-bonus clips and feel better.

Binge the entire final season, plus exclusive sketches, right now on the IFC app.

Videos

The Four-Day Sweatsgiving Weekend On IFC

This long holiday weekend is your time to gobble gobble gobble and give heartfelt thanks—thanks for the comfort and forgiveness of sweatpants. Because when it comes right down to it, there’s nothing more wholesome and American than stuffing yourself stupid and spending endless hours in front of the TV in your softest of softests.

So get the sweats, grab the remote and join IFC for four perfect days of entertainment.

It all starts with a 24-hour T-day marathon of Rocky Horror Picture Show, then continues Friday with an all-day binge of Stan Against Evil.

By Saturday, the couch will have molded to your shape. Which is good, because you’ll be nestled in for back-to-back Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.

Finally, come Sunday it’s time to put the sweat back in your sweatpants with The Shining, The Exorcist, The Chronicles of Riddick, Terminator 2, and Blade: Trinity. They totally count as cardio.

As if you need more convincing, here’s Martha Wash and the IFC&C Music Factory to hammer the point home.