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Topic: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt (Read 1133869 times)

My then 17-year-old daughter travelled to Britain and France last year. She was alone for the entire time, staying in hostels in London and a rented apartment in Paris. People kept asking me "Aren't you worried?" I said "Sure, but she's going to be gone for over a month. I figure that either I can turn myself into a nervous sleepless wreck for that entire time, or I can trust that she'll be able to look after herself and call us if she needs help."

She did fine. The worst thing that happened to her is that she lost an Oyster card with seventy pounds left on it, and that could be easily replaced!

My DH was trying to explain a quiz where you have clues to try and figure out the answer to an unknown question.

Him: So it will come up and say the answer is "blank" and .....Me: Wait, when does it come up and tell you what the answer is?Him: It doesn't tell you the answer.Me: But you just said it comes up and gives you the answer.Him: No I didn't, now listen. So after you finish these clues and you get them right, it will come up and say the "answer is blank".Me: OK, so after you complete this portion of the game, it gives you the answer and then you have to figure out what the question was?Him: No, it doesn't tell you what the answer is. That's not what I said.Me: Never, mind. I give up.

Next day, he decides to try again using an example of a game he completed.Him: So I completed all of these answers. When the game came up and said the answer is "vaneeer", I knew I needed to...Me: Wait, I need to understand when does it come up and tell you the answer.Him: Why do you keep asking me that? It doesn't give you the answer.Me: You just said it came up and told you the answer was vaneer.Him: No I didn't, why are you making this so difficult?Me: Never mind.

I still don't know what he is talking about and he thinks I'm just being completely obtuse.

I think the issue the word "answer".

The quiz gives you the answer to the question, but the answer to the quiz is the question. Sort of like the game show Jeopardy - they provide the "answers" and contestants need to come up with the question, the correct question is the answer to the quiz.

So if the answer is "vaneer" the answer to the quiz might be "the dresser wasn't solid wood, but appeared to be oak, what was it?"

That's exactly what I was thinking, that it was like Jeopardy. The game told you the "answer" and then you used the answers from the first part of the game as clues to figure out the question. But apparently that's not it either.

But apparantly I am being obtuse because my DD is playing it with him now.

My DH was trying to explain a quiz where you have clues to try and figure out the answer to an unknown question.

Him: So it will come up and say the answer is "blank" and .....Me: Wait, when does it come up and tell you what the answer is?Him: It doesn't tell you the answer.Me: But you just said it comes up and gives you the answer.Him: No I didn't, now listen. So after you finish these clues and you get them right, it will come up and say the "answer is blank".Me: OK, so after you complete this portion of the game, it gives you the answer and then you have to figure out what the question was?Him: No, it doesn't tell you what the answer is. That's not what I said.Me: Never, mind. I give up.

Next day, he decides to try again using an example of a game he completed.Him: So I completed all of these answers. When the game came up and said the answer is "vaneeer", I knew I needed to...Me: Wait, I need to understand when does it come up and tell you the answer.Him: Why do you keep asking me that? It doesn't give you the answer.Me: You just said it came up and told you the answer was vaneer.Him: No I didn't, why are you making this so difficult?Me: Never mind.

I still don't know what he is talking about and he thinks I'm just being completely obtuse.

I think the issue the word "answer".

The quiz gives you the answer to the question, but the answer to the quiz is the question. Sort of like the game show Jeopardy - they provide the "answers" and contestants need to come up with the question, the correct question is the answer to the quiz.

So if the answer is "vaneer" the answer to the quiz might be "the dresser wasn't solid wood, but appeared to be oak, what was it?"

That's exactly what I was thinking, that it was like Jeopardy. The game told you the "answer" and then you used the answers from the first part of the game as clues to figure out the question. But apparently that's not it either.

But apparantly I am being obtuse because my DD is playing it with him now.

Oh good...now my brain hurts.

If you manage to figure this out, please be sure to tell us.

Logged

"Heh. Forgive our manners, little creature — that we may well kill and eat you is no excuse for rudeness."

My father-in-law is a very smart man. He did a lot of the work on his house himself, and that is good, except that it will never pass inspection for sale and MIL is constantly talking about selling that house. While they were gone over the weekend, the 32 year old hot water heater had a major catastrophe and flooded the rear wing of the house. FIL is replacing the water heater, but trying to salvage the 32 year old carpet and padding.

It makes my brain hurt because they bought decent carpet back in 1981, off-white carpet, that has lasted through many children and a grandchild. The carpet will have to be replaced before they can sell the house, but they are trying to save 2000 sq ft of carpet, which sat in water for at least two days.

Harvest gold carpeting, circa mid-1960's. By the 1980's, it had worn spots and some stains that steam cleaners were helpless against. My mother insisted that the carpeting was still good because they bought the best, and it was expensive carpeting. The brain-hurting part: she put a large piece of scrap shag carpeting on top to protect the old carpeting.

After my mother passed away in the 1990's, I kept the old carpeting just long enough to protect the hardwood floor while the kitchen was remodeled. It did make a good drop cloth when the dining and living rooms were repainted.

That reminds me of when my mother moved from Liverpool to London in the 50's. When she went back home to visit for a while, she went out with her friends and got home around 1:00 a.m. There was her mother at the doorway, utterly furious, saying "WHAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS?" Mum said "You have no idea what I get up in London, Mum. Face it, I've grown up."

I hurt my own brain by doing this. I know it's ridiculous, but I worry about people getting home when they've left my company, even though I realise that they spend the rest of their time travelling around without my knowledge or concern.

Stupid brain!

My mother is exactly the same. If I've visited my parents, I will always call to let her know once I've arrived safely back home. She knows perfectly well that it is irrational. She says she thinks it is because she knows for sure that one of us is on the road *right then that minute* coupled with a little bit of 'they were visiting me so their safety my responsibility'.

But she was always very good at letting us do stuff despite being worried. (I travelled to France by myself when I was 17, to stay with a pen pal. I remember my parents being encouraging and supportive. I must have been about 25 when the trip came up in conversation and my mum mentioned that she hadn't slept for 2 nights when I went because she was so anxious about me out there travelling through foreign places all alone..

I'm like that too. I have a hard time sleeping unless I know that my traveling loved ones are home safe or got to their destination safely. When I admitted to a friend that I was waiting to hear from her to let her know she'd gotten home safely, she said "Aww, my mom used to do that even when I was your age and living on my own!" So now she texts me whenever she's arrived to a destination or home.

Logged

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

My father-in-law is a very smart man. He did a lot of the work on his house himself, and that is good, except that it will never pass inspection for sale and MIL is constantly talking about selling that house. While they were gone over the weekend, the 32 year old hot water heater had a major catastrophe and flooded the rear wing of the house. FIL is replacing the water heater, but trying to salvage the 32 year old carpet and padding.

It makes my brain hurt because they bought decent carpet back in 1981, off-white carpet, that has lasted through many children and a grandchild. The carpet will have to be replaced before they can sell the house, but they are trying to save 2000 sq ft of carpet, which sat in water for at least two days.

Harvest gold carpeting, circa mid-1960's. By the 1980's, it had worn spots and some stains that steam cleaners were helpless against. My mother insisted that the carpeting was still good because they bought the best, and it was expensive carpeting. The brain-hurting part: she put a large piece of scrap shag carpeting on top to protect the old carpeting.

After my mother passed away in the 1990's, I kept the old carpeting just long enough to protect the hardwood floor while the kitchen was remodeled. It did make a good drop cloth when the dining and living rooms were repainted.

My friend finally convinced his parents to replace the old-fashioned, worn brown shag carpeting in their livingroom, as well as the 70's wallpaper and curtains. He went to their house for the big "surprise reveal" to find the room looking exactly the same. Yup, they replaced everything...with the exact same stuff. I didn't even know you could still find brown shag carpeting.

My father-in-law is a very smart man. He did a lot of the work on his house himself, and that is good, except that it will never pass inspection for sale and MIL is constantly talking about selling that house. While they were gone over the weekend, the 32 year old hot water heater had a major catastrophe and flooded the rear wing of the house. FIL is replacing the water heater, but trying to salvage the 32 year old carpet and padding.

It makes my brain hurt because they bought decent carpet back in 1981, off-white carpet, that has lasted through many children and a grandchild. The carpet will have to be replaced before they can sell the house, but they are trying to save 2000 sq ft of carpet, which sat in water for at least two days.

Harvest gold carpeting, circa mid-1960's. By the 1980's, it had worn spots and some stains that steam cleaners were helpless against. My mother insisted that the carpeting was still good because they bought the best, and it was expensive carpeting. The brain-hurting part: she put a large piece of scrap shag carpeting on top to protect the old carpeting.

After my mother passed away in the 1990's, I kept the old carpeting just long enough to protect the hardwood floor while the kitchen was remodeled. It did make a good drop cloth when the dining and living rooms were repainted.

MIL is a furniture hound. There can be no wall space without a piece of furniture in front of it. However, we are such slobs that all furniture (even particleboard) must have a sheet or some fabric draped over it to "protect" it. It is only MIL and FIL living there. I haven't been over in a month. DH has only been over a few times, when they needed his help! And the carpet? They had renters in DH's room when he was in the Army and living in Germany until after DS was born. I am not certain that the carpet was pristine in 2004 when we stayed with them for a few months.

My father-in-law is a very smart man. He did a lot of the work on his house himself, and that is good, except that it will never pass inspection for sale and MIL is constantly talking about selling that house. While they were gone over the weekend, the 32 year old hot water heater had a major catastrophe and flooded the rear wing of the house. FIL is replacing the water heater, but trying to salvage the 32 year old carpet and padding.

It makes my brain hurt because they bought decent carpet back in 1981, off-white carpet, that has lasted through many children and a grandchild. The carpet will have to be replaced before they can sell the house, but they are trying to save 2000 sq ft of carpet, which sat in water for at least two days.

Harvest gold carpeting, circa mid-1960's. By the 1980's, it had worn spots and some stains that steam cleaners were helpless against. My mother insisted that the carpeting was still good because they bought the best, and it was expensive carpeting. The brain-hurting part: she put a large piece of scrap shag carpeting on top to protect the old carpeting.

After my mother passed away in the 1990's, I kept the old carpeting just long enough to protect the hardwood floor while the kitchen was remodeled. It did make a good drop cloth when the dining and living rooms were repainted.

My friend finally convinced his parents to replace the old-fashioned, worn brown shag carpeting in their livingroom, as well as the 70's wallpaper and curtains. He went to their house for the big "surprise reveal" to find the room looking exactly the same. Yup, they replaced everything...with the exact same stuff. I didn't even know you could still find brown shag carpeting.

Shag carpeting was shown in high-end home shows last year around here. I was aghast.

This topic is bumming me out, because I would love to replace our worn-out carpet, but right now we can't afford it - doing our entire house would cost roughly $20,000. Sigh.

Topic - and also related to carpet - my in-laws replaced their carpet about 15 years ago when all of their grandchildren were babies or toddlers, and they chose WHITE. Not even off-white, but pure snowy white. When my husband said "Um, you either have a lot of faith in kids' abilities to not be messy, or you don't mind", MIL said airily "Oh, you and your siblings will just have to keep an eye on your kids and make sure they don't mess it up." Riiiight.

(For the record, we always did keep an eye on our kids, but no-one's perfect. My in-laws' home was an absolute nightmare to visit with small children - not only because of the white carpet, but because of the small breakable figurines everywhere and the unprotected power outlets. And they wondered why we didn't visit more often.)

Friend: "I think if you want to be a lawyer you have to get used to appearing in court."

I work for the government (don't worry, I'm here to help ) and we have attorneys who provide legal services for our branch. The one we have now is a really nice guy. He has always worked in public service. He's about my age (mid-50s) and he said he hopes he has one case go to court before he retires. He would like to appear in court at least once in his career as an attorney.

Logged

"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Friend: "I think if you want to be a lawyer you have to get used to appearing in court."

I work for the government (don't worry, I'm here to help ) and we have attorneys who provide legal services for our branch. The one we have now is a really nice guy. He has always worked in public service. He's about my age (mid-50s) and he said he hopes he has one case go to court before he retires. He would like to appear in court at least once in his career as an attorney.

Even a "litigation" attorney won't necessarily appear in court that much, depending on what kind of law they practice. I remember when I was a baby prosecutor -- I'd been there just a few months and tried 20-something jury trials at least. One day while I was doing docket, they were setting up for a civil jury trial. One of the attorneys had been a lawyer for over 20 years, and he was sweating bullets because it was his first jury trial!

A place I worked was entirely about litigation - yet most of the lawyers had only been in a trial a few times over their entire career. A lot of litigation is just motion practice now. You might appear before a judge, but the who examination that you see on tv is not something everyone gets or has to do even if you are interested in litigation.

MIL is a furniture hound. There can be no wall space without a piece of furniture in front of it. However, we are such slobs that all furniture (even particleboard) must have a sheet or some fabric draped over it to "protect" it.

Hahahahaha! I loved this. It reminded me of my mother's sister, my aunt, who always seemed so glamorous to me. Mary had been a stewardess (this was in the days of bright and glowing sexism) with American Airlines, then had married an older man and had three children. We would occasionally go and visit them. The house was nicer than ours and the living room particularly pretty. The way it stayed that way was because she covered everything plastic. Lampshades, sofas, chairs. Maybe Joan Crawford was an idol? (They did most of their socializing in the kitchen/family room, I believe.) The room was "for company." I remember asking my mom after one visit, "So what are we? Chopped liver?" Mom, if I remember correctly, kind of shrugged. She wasn't indifferent to my question, but probably uncertain how to answer it.