Teach children to voice their feelings and be goal-orientated

If you had taught your child good behaviour, it is not your fault if they do not turn out the way you expected.

Children from the same parents are different people. They deal with pressure differently. You may treat them the same, but it depends on their character how they implement what you have taught them.

Proverbs 22:6 says to train the child on the right path and when they are older, they will not leave it.

We hope that if you have taught them right, they will know where the right path is and they will return to it.

We must teach our children boundaries and must give them the tools to determine what is right and what is wrong. They must be taught that every action has a consequence.

If you have to choose between two decisions, each decision has positives and negatives.

Choice is difficult, because you have to take responsibility for your choice. You may, for example, decide to not follow the academic route and explore your talent. You may not later regret your choice, but you may wonder what would have happened if you had chosen differently.

The challenge we are facing is that we become friends to our children and struggle to discipline them. Disciplining a child and showing what is the correct way does not mean you do not like a child. We must teach our children values when they are still young.

We value what we love and assign importance to. You will always find time for what you love. If you hate going to funerals, you will always find reasons not to attend. If you hate going to church, you will always pass up the opportunity to go to church for something else you like.

People who enjoy exercising, for example, will do that notwithstanding anything – they will find time.

We must teach young children to know how they are feeling and to voice it. They must be able to say I disagree, I will not, it hurts, stop that, it’s wrong, it is bad, I am sad, I am happy, I am scared, I am angry. This will help them to stand firm in their convictions. Now our children are afraid to tell us and others how they feel and what they do not like. They would rather please others, because they are afraid of conflict.

We take decisions for our children. We do not want them to make mistakes. How are they going to learn?

We must teach responsibility, setting limits and delaying gratification early so that they can be goal-oriented.) Express welcomes anyone to contribute to the weekly column. There is no payment for writers. Send your opinion piece (not exceeding 500 words in Sotho or English) via email to boipelo.mere@­volksblad.com.

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