In this blog I hope to track my adventures in fitness, food justice, gardening and body acceptance. I will do so with a critical eye--examining how anti-fat bias, economics, class, sexism, urban (suburban and rural) development deprives us of satisfying movement, and how health is collective and personal.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Omari Hardwick on What It Means When Black Men Date Outside Their Race

From Esscence.com

The interracial dating debate always raises a level of sensitivity among Black women, especially when it comes to brothers courting women who don't look like "us." It's nothing that we can't escape, and with recent heated discussions and opinions about NFL great Terrell Owens of VH1's "The T.O. Show," sisters have plenty to say about his tastes in women and other notable Black men such as Terrence Howard, Derek Luke and Reggie Bush who have dated or married women outside of their race. ESSENCE.com caught up with TNT's "Dark Blue" hunk OmariHardwick, who shared his unadulterated views about whether love is truly color blind or if a brother shouldn't bring any woman home that can't use his mama's comb.

But on an everyday level. Every black man with a white woman on Jerry Springer or Maury ends up with the trashiest and often overweight white chick. Please note: I will concede that if a couple is on Jerry or Maury they are trading down in both directions.

3 comments:

I get what you are saying, but don't forget that the "men trading down" thing was an expectation IN GENERAL before women actually were able to have careers unless you lived in a Jane Austen novel or a Wharton novel and could be an heiress.

So, for example, George Clooney totally dated that cocktail waitress for a while and most people talked about what a luck it must have been for her to be swept up off her feet in such a gallant manner. Ethan Hawk married his children's former nanny, Ryan Shawhughes. So, its common among white men too. I think that the general power imbalances between the genders encourages this. Men "rescue" lower-status women.

I do think that if Barack Obama had married a white women, even though he's biracial, he would not have won the presidency because Barack plus Michelle make that Black Power Couple that the Black Community can look up to and that shapes the white imagination in a positive direction, imagining Black Power Couples. Also, logistically, Hillary had the black community's backing at the beginning of the primary season, and I don't think they would have jumped her ship for a man with a white wife. I do think that since Black men marry outside of their race at six times the rate of black women, it makes it much harder for professional black women to get a peer to marry (because of the combined racism, sexism). Since my family represents the opposite happening: white man, black woman (both my brother and cousin are white men married to black women), I know that this skews my perception. I think that more Black women should consider dating/marrying white men, but I know that that can be frought with racial anxiety if one were to date a white man who wasn't liberal/worked on racism issues to understand what is and is not appropriate.

Think short term and long term. Short-term goals keep you engaged on a daily basis, but long-term goals motivate you over the long haul.

Write it down. When planning your goals, write everything down and go through all the details.

Start small. It's helpful to plan a series of small goals that build on each other instead of one big, all-encompassing goal.

Pick a date. Timing is crucial, often making the difference between success and failure. Choose a definite start date and don't put that date off for anything. Be sure to account for life circumstances that might hamper your efforts, such as work or school demands or relationship problems. You may need to resolve some issues before starting.

Plan for setbacks. Setbacks are a natural part of behavior change. Everyone who successfully makes changes in his or her life has experienced setbacks. Identifying potential roadblocks and brainstorming specific strategies to overcome them can help you stay on course.

Evaluate your progress. Review your goals each week.

Reassess and adjust your goals as needed. Be willing to change your goals as you progress in your weight-loss plan.

LisaD's Goals and Progress Updates

LisaD's Goals and Progress Updates

1. Personalize: Lose 10 lbs in 7 weeks. End date 2-10-10.2. Realistic: That is 1.4 lbs per week.4. Think Short & Long Term: Short term maintain my Jump Start losses when I return to school. Will do another Jump Start in the Summer.5. Write down when planning: I track my progress at www.diettalk.com and WeightWatchers.com6. Start Small: Track all Eating. Do purposefuly exercise7. Set Start Date: 12-30-09.8. Plan for Set-Backs: I didn't chose to lose 14 lbs in 7 weeks. I gave myself "wiggle room".9 & 10 Evaluate & review Progress each week; Reassess & Adjust Weekly: : Every Wednesday I track my weight, set new goals, and measure the success of previous goals.

Thealogian: Goals and Progress Updates

Recommendations from the Mayo Clinic:

1. Personalize: Shed 50lbs by my birthday July 8, 2010.2. Realistic: That is 2lbs per week, I have successfully lost 3.3lbs per week in the past, so with systematic exercise regime, 2lbs is realistic for me.3. Progress Goals: Exercise 4-6 days per week, don't obsess on food.4. Think Short & Long Term: long-term, exercise 4-6 times per week; short term, go to gym Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week, do pilates or yoga Friday & Sunday.5. Write down when planning: I'm doing that now (and in a journal); I will also eat Greek Yogurt/granola (measured) for breakfast & Turkey Chili for lunch Mon-Thursday; crackers/2% cheese snack & raw veggies. Dinner will be lean protein with veggies & one piece of dove chocolate for dessert.6. Start Small: Pack exercise bag & prepare Breakfasts/Lunches for week Sunday night.7. Set Start Date: TODAY, Jan. 3, 2010.8. Plan for Set-Backs: I wanted to exercise this weekend, but it was too cold to walk outdoors (I tried), the treadmill is on the frtiz and the gym is closed; I couldn't do yoga or pilates because I pulled a muscle in my back, but that's mostly worked out now (thanks to my sister in law's massage knowledge and nursing skills). Despite all this, I was able to eat non-neurotically and I cleaned out the fridge and organized my bedroom, plus dusting, vaccuuming. So, set back #1 dealt with compassion for body.9. Evaluate & review Progress each week: each Sunday, I'll do a status update here, in this window.10. Reassess & Adjust Weekly: Come back to this window to check out weekly goals.

Goals Jan. 4th-10thExercise at Gym Mon-Thurs; Pilates or Yoga Friday and Sat or Sun.Eat pre-packed breakfast/lunchMeditate 5-10 minutes per day