It's bad for body to have loved, lost

The lingering stress of losing a spouse to death or divorce can increase your risk of chronic illness, including heart disease, diabetes and cancer, new research suggests.

The lingering stress of losing a spouse to death or divorce can increase your risk of chronic illness, including heart disease, diabetes and cancer, new research suggests.

Divorced and widowed men and women have a 20 percent higher risk of chronic disease than married people, according to the study that surveyed about 8,600 people, 51 to 61 years old.

"That event really destroys financial assets, and it destroys health assets in the same way," said Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago and a study co-author.

This follows research at other institutions, including Ohio State University, that suggests that marital stress can weaken your immune system as well.

The lesson? Stay married and don't fight. (Good luck: About half of marriages in Ohio end in divorce.)

People enter adulthood at a certain level of health, and tying the knot can increase those health benefits, according to research. But once a traumatic event such as divorce or death of a spouse occurs, healthful habits often go by the wayside and depression -- and stress -- set in.

Researchers agree people tend to rebound from the mental anguish over a divorce or loss of a spouse, but it's the lasting stress that has gone unstudied until now.

"If you've been under stress for a long time, there's a lot of wear and tear on the cardiovascular system, for example, but it won't turn into disease for a while," said Waite, adding that financial worries or concern for child-care arrangements are a few things that could lead to lasting stress.

Bette Haines, who leads a divorce support group at the Grove City Church of the Nazarene, said the stress never goes away, especially if contact with a former spouse is required because of a custody agreement.

"Every time you deal with that ex, you have that same stress level unless you have a relationship where you're the best of friends, and that's something I rarely see," she said.

But don't think a wedding ring is cancer's kryptonite.

"I don't think you can draw a conclusion that if you're in a bad marriage, you should stay in it in order to be healthy," said Kristi Williams, a sociologist at Ohio State who studies the effects of mental health on physical well-being.

A second trip down the aisle also won't wipe away years of stress or bad health habits, the new research shows. Damage from a divorce lingers. People who remarried still have 12 percent higher risk of chronic disease.

"It looks like remarriage repairs some of the damage or gets you back on the healthy trajectory, but you don't start off at the same place," Waite said.

Dr. William Malarkey, an internal medicine specialist at Ohio State who studies stress and health, agrees.

"If you live with someone for 30 years, you're never going to forget it," he said. "That new relationship can help fill up some of that void, but probably not completely."

Building new relationships is still an important part of recovery.

"The key here is not to become a recluse," Malarkey said. "Sitting and just ruminating about bad things doesn't help.

"The best way to get out of that funk is to develop other significant relationships."

tmagaw@dispatch.com

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