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Monday, November 30, 2009

"They didn't mean it that way"

If one more person says that to me, I might punch them.

Do you really think that I'm that stupid that I didn't know that what they said wasn't intended to hurt my feelings? Do you think I'm looking to get upset every time someone mentions something baby related?

I can't believe that all the people in my life that I love so much, can't see how even when the intentions are innocent it still hurts like a b*tch. I understand my misfortune has nothing to do with others' fortune, but it still sucks. If someone's dog just died would you go around them and complain about how much of a pain in the ass your dog is? I think not. Most people would call you insensitive.

I don't know when it will be "my turn" so stop asking. I know that it is exciting to feel your baby move for the first time, and you should be excited, but it still makes me want to cry to hear about it. Am I not allowed to say that to a friend just to vent? I know that your baby bump isn't there just to make me feel bad, and it is more than uncomfortable to be pregnant, but I don't want to hear about it. Does that make me a bad person? I know that it isn't easy to have a baby before you are married. Should I feel bad for you even though you don't realize the miracle that you have?

I'm so sick of feeling this way. But I'm also sick of people not understanding, or trying to understand. I didn't think I'd still be upset two and a half months later, but I am, and I don't think that I should have to feel like that is wrong.

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About Me

I (Em) met M in high school anstilt married 7 years later. 4 years into our marriage we are living the crazy life of having 2 kids under 2 years old. Big Brother Ezra arrived on October 21, 2010. Little Sister Violet joined the party on November, 20, 2011.