Iron Mountain ski jump

Monday, May 9, 2016

END TIME SOUL WORK

I’m at that awkward age.
But isn’t every age an awkward one? This is the one where you feel fine, except
for the usual old-age stuff, but know you’ll die before long, anyway, just
because you’re so old.

As one of my docs used to
say, “Old age is itself a risk factor.” I really resent that, but it’s true.

Which means I need to
prepare for life’s end. In one way, of course, we are always doing that prep,
just by trying to live good lives. That, however, can be an excuse for not
doing some other things, some inward things, that necessary soul-work as we
approach the end of the soul’s earthly journey.

It has occurred to me that
I have too often used my writing and preaching—my outreach—to avoid my
in-reach, the necessary preparation for the end of life. Well, maybe that’s not
quite it. Perhaps I’m not using it to avoid soul-work, but it’s just
getting in the way of the soul-work. Either way, I need to change my focus.

There’s nothing wrong with
me. I’m not aware that I am at death’s door. I might live another 15 years,
although 5 or 10 is more likely. The problem is, at a certain age, it could be
15 years, or it could be 15 minutes. So I need to spend my time doing in-reach.

Some folks might be able
to do both in-reach and outreach, but I am not one of them. I have to do one or
the other. If I do any reaching out at all [writing, speaking, preaching], I
forget about inward learning, the learning and experiencing that allows one to
say “Yes” when the question comes, “Is it well with your soul?”

The creative process can be a way of in-reach. Sometimes I don’t
know what I believe until I have written it. That has often served me well.
Now, though, I need to learn in more inwardly meditative ways.

If I am thinking, “Is this
clear enough that someone else can understand it?” or “Is this worth the effort
of someone else to understand it?” I do not ask well enough, “Do I understand it?”

I listen to others to get
guidance for my inward journey, mostly by reading, but I listen in other ways,
too. Often I am gifted with some phrase or thought that I think is worth
sharing, so I’ll continue to post most days in Christ In Winter, usually some
quote that I find helpful as I do soul work. Occasionally I’ll even tell one of
my little stories that reflects on faith in our winter years. I still value
having you with me on the journey. It’s just that most of the time I need to
“walk this lonesome valley by myself.”

JRMcF

johnrobertmcfarland@gmail.com

My youthful ambition was
to be a journalist, and write a column for a newspaper. So I think of this blog
as an online column. I started it several years ago, when we followed the
grandchildren to the “place of winter,” Iron Mountain, in Michigan’s Upper
Peninsula [The UP]. I put that in the sub-title, ”Reflections on Faith from
a Place of Winter for the Years of Winter, where life is defined by winter
even in the summer!” [This phrase is explained in the post for March 20, 2014.]
We no longer live in “the place of winter.” The grandchildren grew up, so in May,
2015 we moved “home,” to Bloomington, IN, where we met and married. It’s not a
“place of winter,” but we are still in winter years of the life cycle, so I
continue to work at understanding what it means to be a follower of Christ in
winter…