CHAPTER 11

The Clairvoyant

By the end of July 1981, I had 44 OBEs and psychic experiences
were piling up. I was doing computer programming for the Minnesota
DNR. One of my co-workers was LD, an ordinary woman except for her
eyes. I couldn't look into her eyes, because they seemed to look
right through me. Somehow I got the strong impression she was
clairvoyant. I talked to JP about her and he suggested I ask her.
I didn't want to; she'd probably think I was crazy.

Everyone at work used a computer mail program, much like
modern E-mail. One day I wanted to send a message to my boss who
wasn't very prompt at reading her on-line mail. LD read her mail
often, so I sent her a message that said, "Please tell PL [my boss]
to read her mail." A couple of days later, LD sent me a message
that said "This is not a message." When I asked her to explain
herself, she complained that she never got any "good" mail. She
sent me a non-interesting message because my message to her was so
non-interesting. I got gutsy. I sent her the following reply:

FROM: BOB FRI JUL 31, 1981 9:39 a.m.

So you don't want messages like "Please tell PL to read her
mail" huh? Okay. I always like a good philosophical
discussion. I'll start it out with a *BANG*.

ARE YOU CLAIRVOYANT?

Much to my surprise and relief, I was right: she was
clairvoyant! She also had out-of-body experiences, and was even
attending a spiritualist church. Like me, she was afraid to talk
about it for fear of what others might think.

LD and I became good friends. I rarely saw her in person
because we worked different shifts, but we exchanged computer mail
for a couple of years. During that time, we agreed on a little
experiment: To establish proof during an OBE, I would try to visit
her while out of my body. When I arrived, she could see me
clairvoyantly and validate that my OBE was "real." From then on,
I started trying to reach LD during my OBEs.

Literally all of the books on out-of-body experiences claimed
that during an OBE everything was controlled by the person's
thoughts. To travel, they said, all one had to do is to think of
the person or place you wanted to visit, and you would be magically
transported there. And I fully expected my thoughts to be
all-powerful during an OBE, but I found out it wasn't that simple.
The following excerpt from my journals illustrates some of the
problems I had during OBEs, especially when trying to travel to a
specific place. It also illustrates several points about OBEs,
including clarity of consciousness and how out-of-body sight works.
The topic of consciousness is discussed in chapter 19 and out-of-
body sight is discussed in detail in chapter 18.

10/24/81 Sat - OBE #52

...I woke up at 8:00am this morning and decided to try to have
an OBE. I had no luck on my first try. I finally went back
to sleep, and I kept going in and out of sleep until 9:30am.
I was fully relaxed and in the proper state of mind when I
woke up the next time. I mildly thought about OBE, and I
noticed how relaxed my body was.

I felt a twinge of vibration, and I directed my attention
to it. It grew stronger, but it wasn't strong like my first
experience with the vibrations. It was more like the type I
used to feel when practicing at night. "Well," I thought, "I
wish I could remember what to do next, like I usually do," but
I couldn't, and already the vibrations seemed a little weaker.
Then I thought, "Well, I could arch my back, but it probably
won't work." I couldn't think of anything else, so I decided
to try it. I arched my back and threw my arms back behind my
head. I was immediately flung into my astral body.

When I reached the peak of my backward (downward) motion
I started to sway back up again. When I reached my body again
I made an effort to get away, but I got stuck to the body
instead. I was fully conscious, glued tightly to my body, and
amazed that my consciousness was so perfectly clear.
Strangely enough, I could "see" all right. I had the astral
equivalent of physical sight...I freed my astral arms, reached
behind me, and tried to push myself away from my body. As I
pushed, I felt my astral body being stretched from behind. I
felt just like a cracker stuck in a vat of very thick honey.
I felt millions of tiny streamers or ribbons attached to the
two bodies (not with my hands; I just felt them there). Well,
I gave it my best effort to get free, but I reentered my body
after about 15 seconds.

So I came to, and thought it was the end. I rationalized
that I couldn't do it again, because I was fully awake. But
my stubborn side demanded that I try it again. So I got
comfortable, and looked for the vibrations. They came
immediately, and I used the same method to get out again. I
wasn't stuck to the body this time. I sat up with no problem,
again with a good sense of sight. I looked around and
thought, "Wow. I'm really conscious. I've never been this
conscious before. Not even in waking life. Now I'm going to
do some experiments I've been meaning to do."

The first experiment that came to mind was to test how
sound worked. So I said something like, "Hello? Testing
One-two-three." Although I formed the words with my astral
lips and used my astral vocal cords, no sound came out. I
faintly heard a tiny voice in the background, but it was too
muffled to understand. Perhaps the problem was merely my
brain's interpretation of the sound.

Anyway, I looked around and noticed how things looked
different in an OBE. In the past, I often saw gray clouds
during an OBE. But now I examined my sight more closely. I
saw a few places where astral matter was just sitting in small
bunches. And as I looked around the room I noticed that
everything was normal except now I could see different types
of "glows" around everything. It was as if everything in my
room had an aura of its own which glowed a little differently
from any other thing....I also noticed that in some places
there seemed to be blots, or places where the aura was either
black or covered up by a blackness. Then I thought to myself,
"This is foolish. I am wasting my time. I should go at once
to LD's house for purposes of verifying the reality of this
experience." But then I blacked out again and once more woke
up immediately in my body.

Once again my analytical self said no, but I was too
stubborn to give up. I repeated the method, the vibrations
came again, and I was ready for another excursion. When I got
out, I was about one foot above my body. I sat up. I knew
what I wanted to do: get to LD's house. I thought to myself,
"Hmm. There are two possible routes I could take: Through
the back door or out through my window." I heard the back
door open and shut so I directed my attention to it. My
astral vision opened up and I saw my mom coming in the house.
I also noticed the clock in the kitchen, but it was too blurry
to see the time. It was more like second-sight or clairvoyant
vision than physical sight. I thought, "I better not go
through the back door; there is too much risk of being
distracted. I better try the window." So I looked at the
window sill, then tried to go to it by pulling the image
toward me. The image of the window did come to me, but when
I looked again, I was still no closer to it. I tried to look
at it closer. At once my eyes tried to be like a "zoom-lens"
on a camera. But instead of my eyes magnifying what I saw, I
moved closer to it in a gliding motion. I only glided one
foot closer when I came to a stop. I tried to do it again,
and it worked a tiny bit. Then I was about two feet away from
the window sill.

I thought, "Enough of this moving-with-my-mind nonsense."
I got up on my knees, then stood up, preparing to step through
the window. I decided to keep my eyes open so that nothing
could go wrong. As I stepped through the glass window pane,
my consciousness dimmed considerably. At once everything
seemed strange. I was outside, but it looked so strange that
I couldn't tell where I was. I looked around and saw images,
possibly from an oncoming dream. I couldn't even tell whether
I was on the first-floor or on a second-story. I recognized
things, but everything seemed out of place. I saw toys,
furniture and other objects. I twisted around and saw that I
was outside, to the north of our kitchen, and one story up!
I became confused and eventually blacked out. I remember
thinking, "I don't want to enter a dream now." I woke up
fully conscious in my body again.

I got comfortable and tried again. I immediately got the
vibrations again as soon as I thought about them. Instead of
flinging myself backward, I just flung myself forward and sat
up in the astral body with no trouble.

I thought, "Almost every book I have on astral projection
says that you can travel to a person instantly by thinking
about them. I'm going to try it again." So I closed my eyes
and visualized LD perfectly in every detail. I just sat there
and visualized and nothing happened. I thought at first that
my visualization wasn't good enough. But I visualized her
perfectly in every detail. I opened my eyes and I was still
in bed sitting up in my astral body. I thought, "This is
getting me nowhere." I started to think about LD, hoping this
would work better than visualizing her. Still no results.
Then I blacked out for maybe half of a minute. Then I woke up
in my body again and knew it was over....

This entry shows another unsuccessful attempt at travel:

04/10/82 Sat - OBE #70

...I couldn't see my arm, so I figured that I must be out of
my body. But just to make sure, I reached my right arm down
through my bed. When my arm went through the physical bed
again, I knew I wasn't physical. I swung my legs around,
pulled away, and stood up. I tried to walk but couldn't. I
was standing about four feet from my bedroom door, with my
arms outstretched toward it. As much as I tried to get away,
I didn't move an inch. I thought, "My only hope is to think
of LD and maybe I will be transported there." I closed my
eyes and thought of LD. Nothing happened, so I visualized LD.
Again, nothing happened. I thought of her personality. No
movement. I imagined how I feel when I'm with her. Still no
movement. None of this worked at all. I felt another quick
motion, and I felt myself become physical again. I was
totally back in my body again.

A few times I could "think" myself to another location, but these
had unpredictable results:

07/10/82 Sat - OBE #79

...I closed my [astral] eyes and started thinking about LD.
I opened them again and nothing had changed. I decided to try
to visualize LD instead. I closed my eyes, and visualized LD.
"LD," I mentally called. I opened my eyes and looked around.
I was not in the same place! I didn't see LD either. I had
no idea where I was. I was so overwhelmed by the change of
scenery without any physical sensations, that I lost all
consciousness....

03/25/84 Sun - OBE #105

...I launched myself straight up in the air. I thought about
LD and in a split-second, it seemed as if my consciousness
blurred and instead of flying, I was transported somewhere at
a blinding speed. That confused me, and I thought for a
second, "No! I want to fly there." I felt LD's presence for
a second, but my confusion sent me back to my body again
instantly....

11/10/85 Sun - OBE #118

...I pulled out and up so that I was in a squatting position
near my body's right arm, about a foot up from the body. I
knew right away what I wanted to do. I had read almost all of
Robert Monroe's book, Far Journeys, so the first thing I
wanted to try was to contact my guides--a process that Monroe
calls, "Ident Inspect." The first thing I tried was saying
aloud, "Ident Inspect," but nothing happened. Then I tried
thinking, "Ident Inspect," and nothing happened. Then I heard
the friendly thoughts of another person. It was a 30 year old
man's voice, and it said, "What are you trying to do?" I
looked around, but I couldn't see anybody. I replied, "I'm
trying to contact my guides." The other voice said, "Oh. But
'Ident Inspect?'" I felt very foolish and laughed. I must
have looked pretty foolish trying to contact my guides by
saying--or thinking--the words I had read in a book.
Especially since the words were just the author's attempt at
describing an indescribable astral experience. And especially
since I was so incompetent at using my mind as transportation.
"Never mind." I said, "It's from a book I read."

Then I tried to pull myself toward the "Ident Inspect"
instead of thinking about it, but I lost all consciousness.
The next thing I knew, I came to in my body a couple of hours
later.

To people who live without bodies, we must seem like
simplistic children. When we are out of the body, we must be
willing to try new things, learn from our mistakes, and not be
afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. Above all, we should be
able to laugh at ourselves.

EXERCISE 11

Falling In a Well

As always, get into a comfortable position and close your
eyes. Relax as completely as your can, then visualize that you are
looking down a very deep well. Next, pretend you fall in, head
first. As you fall, watch the bottom of the well getting closer.
Try to imagine the sensation of falling as real as possible. Feel
the gravity pulling you toward the bottom. Get caught up in the
feeling. If this works, you may be zapped into your astral body.
If this doesn't work the first time, repeat the visualization
several times until your visualization seems almost real.