Change

It often feels as though I’m surrounded by amazing people who want to change in some way. We strive to lose weight, become fitter, have a better house, get a better job, learn more, do more, in order to become a ‘better’ person in some way. I’m no different.

I’ve been using a new journal alongside my usual one during this 100 day challenge. It’s the 5 Second Journal by Mel Robins. Each day includes a short challenge which I love. The idea being that it gives you the chance to step outside your comfort zone to help build your self-confidence.

One of this weeks daily challenges was to write “I am enough, just as I am” on paper and display it where I could see it all day. As a result, this thought has been niggling away at me all week. If this statement is true, then why am I striving to change?

But am I?

Fundamentally, no I’m not. My core values are intact, I’m simply trying to find a way to become more true to myself, more of the person I know I am and can be.

The change I want to make with this 100 day challenge is in my attitude towards prioritising my creative life. I feel as though my life is racing away at a thousand miles an hour and that my limited time on this earth is far too important to spend it procrastinating. I have something that I want to share with others, that I positively need to share. It burns away at me day and night. It niggles at me constantly whenever I’m busy with other activities.

I dream of quitting work and spending every day embodying my love for Concordia’s World and sharing it with the world. So why haven’t I been finding a way to do exactly that? Why haven’t I been burning the midnight oil to move that bit closer to my dream life?

These are the questions that have been bothering me this week as I’ve pottered away progressing my Phoenix.

My Phoenix. Why a Phoenix? Perhaps its fate, synchronicity, serendipity? I’ve no idea why I felt the burning need to create a Phoenix. As yet I’ve not included one in my story, so this is a new character in my imaginary world.

One thing that does strike me however, is that a Phoenix is a very suitable metaphor for the transformation that I want to achieve. The Phoenix has long been symbolic of change and new beginnings. So perhaps it’s creation will be the start of more productive, creative life?

Do you want to change in some way? Have you done anything about it? I’d love to know if you’ve found any useful methods?

Until next week lovely followers.

Mary-Ann xx

This weeks progress:

I worked out how I will be creating the feathers for my Phoenix

I created his talons and modelled his beak from clay (new skills learned in thread wrapping the wire and using oven baked clay)

I painted and fixed his beak in place

I figured out how the armature should work, created it and after much frustration, installed it in his body (I’d do this differently another time)

I also made his leg pantaloons, but I’ll be remaking these as I didn’t make his legs fat enough.