The pleasure of being inside April and regret that she wanted him to rape her was a disaster of love. She didnt care but he did.

"Oh, Gardner! Ow! Stop!".

His heavy breathing crashed into his mind, as he pictures April as Ashley. Seeing the sex faces of her beautiful face, while smiling.
"Stop! Stop! It hurts! No, get off me!".

Once Gardner came April said" Wow. That was great". She cuddled uo close to him. He felt horrible. Ashamed. Even though she wanted it his soul was devastated. Eaten alive by his own monster. By his own flaw. All his sex clogging up his mind has made him think-April isnt Ashley. Dave isnt Ashley. Making love to them isnt like making love to her. Because with her, its a unique connection. I can feel everything my body responds to when im with her. Seeing every inch of my house....In the bedroom reminds me of her scent. Her cute laugh and soft pitched giggling. The way her eyes change colors when she kisses me, how she holds me from behind my waist. Our conversations and intimate texting. All the times we would leave town to escape our troubles, when family didnt accept us. Runaway from the words that would swivel from our ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends. I hope hose days never left us. All the times i've cried into her arms and shes cried into mine. Its a never ending solution.