I find myself listening to my ENFP friend more than she does. She's usually amazed by how well I know her and considers me a good friend because I remember what she said to me. She has many friends on facebook but she told me she would do the "monthly clean-up", which she deleted friends that she thinks are just on superficial level or has no real connection. At first I thought she was cocky for doing that, but I guess an ENFP would rather her friends who are close to them than many acquaintances.

I used to do the same thing before I stopped using facebook completely. Before facebook was as popular I used to do the same with myspace before I deleted it.

I visit Facebook like... once a month, and mostly because I keep in touch with two of my ex-teachers from high school who were very good to me and I occasionally send them messages saying hi and how things are going. Otherwise, I avoid it like the plague.

Lol..I avoided facebook like the plague for years, but I recently actually made an account. I realize that I meet a lot of great people on the net and I do wanna be able to somewhat check up on them, without having to go look for them in all corners of the net. Despite the fact that Facebook is Big Brother and Pure Evil, I would see what the fuss is all about

For me, the issue at the heart of this thread is... getting our energy from our interactions, and the need for those interactions, and the frequent disappointment that those interactions don't go far enough because you have to keep stuff hidden so as not to scare people off...

Yes. Yes.Yes. Tortoise, there are not enough Ys, Es, and Ss, in the alphabet to tell you how much I agree with you. Get out of my head!

Attn: Hoaky Sports Analogy About to Happen

I think being an ENFP can be likened to being on the elementary school playground.

I imagine a young girl that is sad and lonely because no one wants to pick her to be on their kickball team. She doesn't even really like to play kickball all that much, but she does like to feel included and she loves to be around people. So not being on the team means she's alone. Other than this, she could care less about kickball.

Then, imagine that some older, cooler kids (i.e., INFPs, other ENFPs, INFJs, and INTJs.... with even the occasional INTP, ENTP, ENTJ thrown in) come over and invite her to join them in a game of hopscotch. This is the game she's always dreamed of playing. This is the game that she was born to play with the people she was born to play with. They get her and she gets them.

Up until now, the story is all good.

But... she is so excited and has been lonely for so long and has soooo much to share that she puts all her energy into playing hopscotch and does not attend to what she normally attends to (viz., the emotional tenor of those around her.) She completely misses what she is normally so good at seeing, which is that her over-exuberance is perplexing / off putting / overwhelming to her hopscotch cohorts.

So it seems to me that the ENFP dilemma is in part a recognition that even though we ENFPs long to have deep and meaningful connections with other people, we also need to recognize that very few* can keep up with our "hit you in your face" intensity. We need to never forget this and find appropriate outlets for all of our pent up energy.

i feel like my basic dilemma is that i would love to freely interact with people but i am very self-conscious and concerned that they will not like me.

it feels like a trap. if i am too lax, then i will say things that others don't like, so i will never get close to others. if i am not lax enough, i will never get to know others, so i will never get close to others. catch-22.

i can be sort of stand-offish because of this. it's what made me think i was INFP.

as for philosophy... geez guys, sometimes, i gotta say, it's REALLY boring. i am a strong N, but sometimes the "what-if" just gets far too ridiculous. it seems pointless to me. like nihilism. pointless, ha ha...

I've never seen philosophy as "what if" stuff. I guess it depends on who you read (Marcus Aurelius doesn't really cover anything except the timeless issues with society. Siddartha never went into "what if" either) and why you read it. Philosophy answers all those questions with no real answers like "why do bad things happen to good people" etc.,