Cloris Leachman claims to have won an Oscar (probably for that silent movie about the guy who can’t figure out why the water won’t come out of his garden hose), so I guess that makes this movie related. In the video after the jump, she demonstrates the best part of any Comedy Central Roast, confused-looking old people saying really dirty things. Opening line: "I didn’t come here to roast Bob Saget. I came here to F John Stamos." Funny, but she’s leaving the door wide open for a "Clitoris Leachman" joke.

Bob Saget (More like Bob FAG-et! Feel free to use that one.) has had quite the career. He’s gone from mediocre comedian to wholesome TV star to comedian who makes mediocre jokes about being a wholesome TV star. Somehow he’s convinced everyone that he’s really dirty. No grown man should act that embarrassed about saying the F word. But then, I may be a poor judge, the only things that offend me are speech impediments and The Disney Channel.

Aside from Jeff Ross, Greg Giraldo and whenever Patton Oswalt appears, these roasts have become such a joke that Carlos Mencia tries to steal them.

08.07.08 at 10:40 am

Burnsy

Andy Dick usually does these roasts. Andy Dick, ladies and gentlemen. Andy Dick’s about as credible a comedy source as Courtney Love is anti-drugs. Lisa Lampanelli’s here. Lisa Lampanelli’s had more black dick than a urinal at Popeye’s. I see Bea Arthur is here tonight. Bea Arthur’s dick is so big, Lisa Lampanelli tried to paint it black and fuck it.

08.07.08 at 10:42 am

Stone Soup

This is the same joke Leachman used in 1952, they just substituted John Stamos for Sammy Davis, Jr.

08.07.08 at 10:43 am

jokerswild

The problem with roasts nowadays is . . . WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE FUCKING PEOPLE ON STAGE TALKING BAD ABOUT SOMEBODY I REALLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT?!?!?!

08.07.08 at 10:43 am

Stinky Peet

Jeff Ross is an American treasure. Thank God he never tried to collect royalties for every time I’ve said "I wouldn’t fuck her with Bea Arthur’s dick."Cloris Leachman is actually pretty funny in that clip. Nothing could ever be worse than when they wrote a bunch of jokes for Farrah Fawcett at the Bill Shatner roast, I’ve seen eulogies for dead babies that were funnier than that.

08.07.08 at 10:43 am

Donkey Hodey

Bob Saget may not be dirty enough for you, but he tells a mean Aristocrats joke.

08.07.08 at 10:43 am

GenePoolParty

Clitoris Bleachman will remove that stubborn pink stain.

08.07.08 at 10:45 am

jokerswild

I may be an endangered species around here but I really . . . REALLY . . . fuckin hate The Aristocrats joke.

08.07.08 at 10:46 am

Pauly Dangerously

What ever happen to actually burning people alive? I hope that makes a comeback in ’09.

08.07.08 at 10:48 am

Donkey Hodey

Erswi, the problem is that there are so few comedians who can tell it well.

08.07.08 at 10:49 am

Lester Hayes Mayes

You haven’t starfucked until you’ve gotten the patented Leacharound.

08.07.08 at 10:50 am

jokerswild

I actually sat and watched the movie that one guy made about it, I didn’t laugh once through the entire hour and a half.

08.07.08 at 10:51 am

ChinoMoreno

They use Clorox Breachman at the chinese laundry.

08.07.08 at 10:52 am

Observer

If I was Dane Cook…..I would fucking love Bob Saget.

08.07.08 at 10:52 am

Vince

Meh. His Aristocrats is not as good as George Carlin, the South Park guys, the mime, Wendy Liebman, Gilbert Gottfried…

08.07.08 at 10:55 am

affleckwasthebomb

Now I’m no comedy genius or any thing but I struggle to even classify the Aristocrats as a joke. it’s fun to try and shock people sure but it just feels like a bit of one upmanship. And to be honest in this day and age and I guess especially among filmdrunkards, it’s really difficult to shock people. I’m with Jokes on this one. I’m not a huge fan of the joke.

08.07.08 at 10:55 am

Donkey Hodey

The mime was a nice touch; that was pretty fucking funny.Erswi, which one of you is pregnant again?

08.07.08 at 11:00 am

Stinky Peet

I actually sat and watched the movie that one guy made about it, I didn’t laugh once through the entire hour and a half.I liked that movie, but I will say that there were more lame versions shown than entertaining ones.erswi, your other problem might be that you hang around here too much. I’ve read some stuff here that makes the average telling of The Aristocrats sound like a plot summary for The Backyardigans.

08.07.08 at 11:00 am

Lester Hayes Mayes

Watching that movie was the comedy equivalent of wine tasting for me: A pointless and self-inflating exercise in the subjective. Except there is no cleansing of the palate when hearing the same joke over and over again, separated only by marginal permutations.

08.07.08 at 11:00 am

Pauly Dangerously

I’d appreciate the Aristocrats joke more if it was based on a true story.

08.07.08 at 11:01 am

Burnsy

Tommy Lee’s here tonight. I’m not saying Tommy Lee has a big dick, but Florida called and it wants its statehood back. Carrot Top’s joined us this evening, but only because they said they’d need someone to prop Courtney Love up later. I’m not saying Abe Vigoda is old. But if you sliced him open and counted the rings, you’d see Saturn.

08.07.08 at 11:05 am

Observer

Some of the comedians featured in "The Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget" on Sunday went too far with crude references to Saget’s former "Full House" co-stars Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, the actor and comedian told the New York Post. "Anybody who talks about my TV kids — that upsets me the most," Saget told the newspaper. "I am very protective. I love them very, very much." John Stamos, who played Uncle Jesse on the popular series, was the emcee for the event and took the first jab at the 22-year-olds. "The whole time Bob and I were doing ‘Full House,’ he was also hosting ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos,’" he said. "His entire job consisted of saying ‘Take a look at this,’ which is what he used to say to Mary-Kate in her dressing room." Gilbert Gottfried, who suggested in his act that Saget seduced the girls with chocolate milkshakes, told the Post he didn’t care if the Olsens were offended by some of the comments. "If you are an Olsen girl, you deserve it. They’re going to just have to go home and cry in their billions of dollars," he said. The roast will air Aug. 17 on Comedy Central.