I'm a 34-year-old man in a six-year relationship with a 32-year-old woman. At the start of our relationship, she disclosed that she had never had an orgasm. With time, I've come to realise that she has a low sex drive, something which she acknowledges but doesn't seem to want to do anything about. I have looked into primary anorgasmia and its solutions, but the likelihood of sex therapy is slim (it is nearly impossible to get her to talk about this). I'm getting to the end of my tether.

Many anorgasmic women have never explored their own bodies and don't really know how they work. Some simply appear to have low desire, or even withdraw from sex all together. Your partner may have made a genuine choice to remain anorgasmic; however, if you approach her with a generous spirit, she may feel empowered. Try exploring the erogenous zones of her body, asking for feedback about what feels best. Suggest that she simply enjoys the sensations, without any pressure to orgasm. Pay special attention to her clitoris, and you may jointly make vital discoveries. If you are up for some advanced sexual exploration, tantric techniques that accentuate female pleasure may be particularly helpful. But frame your renewed interest in helping facilitate her pleasure in a way that is non-threatening and does not increase her anxiety.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.