If you take out the wacky improv comedy context, what you end up with are just incredibly insightful rules for amazing conversations.

Without further ado, here are three ways that you will never run out of things to say to girls using improv comedy techniques.

Rule of Improv Comedy #1 – Adopt the mindset of “Yes, AND…”

In response to someone else’s suggestion, thought, or topic, always say “Yes, AND…” to move to their topic and add something to it, to keep the conversation flowing.

It means that you are collaborating with the person that you’re talking with. This preserves a flow, keeps them interested in the conversation at hand, and makes interactions as smooth as butter.

Instead of throwing your conversation partner off and telling that person that you want to talk about something else, you carry that person deeper into the topic of their choice by talking about it and adding to it.

This highlights your intelligence, but it also highlights your emotional engagement.

An added bonus is that you make your conversation partner feel extremely heard and validated, and that just makes them enjoy talking to you even more.

There are no right or wrong answers, only answers that lead to flow and those that do not.

Your agenda and shared goal is simply to create an environment where you can get the other person to trust you and make them feel that you are a friend. “Yes, AND…” makes people feel heard, validated, and that you are willing to go with them wherever they lead.

A great conversation has a million different directions, and you must be open to all of them.

Rule of Improv Comedy #2 – Ask specific questions

Don’t force others to answer broad questions because it puts a conversational burden on them and interrupts banter; use specific questions instead.

If you’re trying to get a great conversation going, questions, especially open-ended ones, can lead to minefields.

When you ask open-ended questions like, “What do you like to do for fun?” this has a tremendous impact on the free flow of the conversation.

The recipient of the question ends up having to do a lot of work. Answering an open-ended question like that takes a lot of mental work. The more open-ended the question, the more work is involved. This has a net effect of forcing your conversation partner to stop whatever they’re doing just to come up with a reply.

How do you really answer that question of what you do for fun, anyway? Uh… I like to go running sometimes and watch movies.

No one really has an answer to that in their pocket.

A better example would be “Have you seen any good movies lately” or “Have you seen the latest Toy Story?”

Worst of all, when you ask open-ended questions, you put the burden of keeping the conversation going on your partner.

Instead of feeling that they are equal partners in keeping the conversation going and contributing to a flow of easy information, they feel overburdened. They feel that the conversation has become imbalanced. Eventually, it becomes more of a chore rather something enjoyable.

Very specific questions are easier to answer because they often only require one piece of information. This is good news because when people are prompted to supply this piece of information, the person asking can then contribute to follow up on that question or with a statement.

Another advantage of specific questions is they allow you to direct a conversation depending on the specific answers given.

It’s as simple as this – statements make interaction and conversation easy for people to engage in because they don’t require massive amounts of thinking, and create a great conversational flow.

One of the most powerful techniques you can adopt from improv comedy is HPM.

HPM is like a mental template you can use in the best and worst of situations. It’s a concept that can apply to any topic, anytime… and best of all, it does not matter how intelligent or creative both you and the people you are speaking with are.

HPM stands for history, philosophy and metaphor.

These are multiple angles that you can take with any kind of conversation to add renewed life to a conversation. You can address the history, philosophy, or metaphor of almost anything that was just said.

The best part about each component of HPM is that they are universal, and are incredibly fertile grounds for conversation. Everyone has an HPM on just about every topic, and just by saying it loud you galvanize others to bring up their own HPM.

The history angle is when you talk about what your conversation partner said in a personal way and relate it back to something that happened to you – your personal history.

“Last time I was on a rollercoaster, I lost my $500 sunglasses!”

By philosophy, I am not talking about an abstract theoretical argument about what life is.

I am talking about personal philosophy, beliefs, and opinions. The philosophy angle is where you demonstrate how you feel about something, for better or worse. The stronger you feel about something, the more this engenders additional conversation.

“Oh my God, I absolutely hate rollercoasters. I can’t stand them, they are so terrifying.”

When you throw out a metaphor, you communicate with the person you are talking to that you are both emotionally and intellectually engaged.

It also just makes you appear witty and clever to link unrelated elements together like metaphors usually do.

“Rollercoasters are like charities, I donate so many things because I lose something every time I ride one!”

This communicates to the person that you are a deep thinker and it also communicates to the person that what they said resonated with you enough for you to draw these connections.

When you use HPM correctly, you will never run out of things to say, ever.

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Nice tips. Helping the conversation flow by agreeing to what the person said and building on top of that topic makes it easy to connect with others and shows you are listening. Asking more specific questions can make it easier for people to answer. As time goes on, I would start asking deeper questions when the person feels more comfortable to get more emotional investment to connect with them more. I’ve definitely used the HPM method before without calling it that. Cool way to give an easy-to-remember description for conversational tactics!

Nice tips, I plan on using the HPM quite handily now. The “Yes and…” is something I don’t think I’ve used before. BTW Tripp, I have this situation where I asked a girl out, she dorms in college but I don’t attend that college. I asked her out and the day was on a day she wanted to watch her schools bball game, and she said she will let me know. That phrase is def not good, anyways I didn’t think to just switch the date to saturday aka tomorrow on the spot, and I’m trying to do so by texting her. Any suggestions?

Ask her where she’s never been before and take her there. Or ask her what she’s never done before that she’s always wanted to, and take her to do that. Get creative and be spontaneous. Girls love that.

It depends on the situation. But mainly you want to text her things that she finds interesting, things you have in common and what you want to talk to her about.

Sam

Hey I got rejected by her very long before n I still love her I don’t understand what to do?And how to talk to her?

Briar

So there’s this girl. Had a crush on her for 3 years and this year finally became good enough friends with her to ask her out. I got rejected… I played it cool and we continued to be great friends but now she has a crush on me and I’m not sure how to seal the deal and not mess anything up. Any advice?

Talk to her on the way in or on the way out of class. That makes it easier because you’re both on the same path going somewhere. And watch my video on this with the same title.

Marshal Iftee

Well, I can talk or flirt with a girl but my that ain’t my problem. My problem is the girl whom is my crush unfortunately she is the GF of my friend. I can’t even go and talk to her as he and others will take it otherwise and we aren’t in the same school I met her in a coaching, she never talks often so the problem is a bit confusing and DIFFERENT.

Dude, she’s your friend’s girlfriend. How would you like it if you had a girlfriend and one of your friends was asking somebody what he can do to get with her? smh Leave your friend’s girlfriend alone and find a girl that deserves a great guy like you.

Basit Khan

Is about 1year ago. there is a girl i know her she lives in my society. we talk on facebook we get a good conversation but one`s she asked (you love me) i said (there is lots of differences between your and my status. (she is too rich) i said i just like you. after then she remove me from facebook friend.. i seriously love her man. help me please…

Watch my videos and listen to my podcast. It’s clear that you haven’t done this yet so get started and stay with it. Get the education you need to know better.

Triz

About 8 months ago this girl came over to hang out with her friend and my roommates. At the end of the day everything was perfect and we got it on. Things were great for about a month and then we had started getting into arguments because she kept going to the bar without me. The arguments got worse and we broke up. We were together for about 6 months and I still love her and want her back. It’s been a couple months now and she just wants to be friends but I cannot handle that. What do I do to fix this?

Start by fixing your issues with being co-dependent then apologize to her and see if she’ll take you back and if she does, then don’t let it happen again. If she doesn’t, then at least you know what the main problem is. A girl wanting to go somewhere without you is not a good reason to get upset.