Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I looked in the rear view mirror on the way home from the bus-stop and Ladybug had tears in her eyes and a red face.What's the matter, baby?Well, I just don't want you to die.Oh, honey. You don't have to worry about that for a long, long time.But I don't want you to die ever. Even when you get old like Grandma Fern.Okay. I won't.

I lied. I will die. But it will be when she understands better. When she doesn't need me so much. I want to be honest with her. About important things like love and hate and pain. But this can wait. I don't want her to worry about me not being here. I want her to know that I'll be right next to her every time she needs me. And right around the corner waiting when she doesn't.

Her hand finds mine as we step off the curb together. Panic touches her face for a second at the park when she realizes I have moved from the bench. I'm here. I'll be here. Don't ever worry that I won't be.

Will you tell Daddy, too? To not die?Yes.I wish nobody died.Me, too, baby.

Too cute. Sophia talks about me dying all the time, as if im on my death bed. Maybe she knows something that I don't? But i ease her pain by saying, the same. "don't worry, it will be a long long time before we have to worry about that". It comes up more than less. Sensitive kids :)