"Cause I'll be lighting fires for you.."

~I'm there in the Light when you need me~

First of all, I appreciate everyone who has stuck with me; I know I'm a bad blogger type but then I've had alot on my plate in regards to work. Work has been phenomenal. I've learned so much and I'm definitely on the right track.. I know every single job in the warehouse and I've gained so many friends as well as gotten to know other people that I normally wouldn't of. Every weekend is filled with some new activity or hanging out with friends. In fact on friday my friend Shauna is coming over and we're going to eat bacon and watch Hetalia. Woohoo.

Also I've been questioning if I'm really a lesbian or if I'm bisexual. I've hung out with some guys that I've been sort of digging so I don't know at all. But I'm not going to label myself anymore, and I'm certainly not going to jump in. There was this one girl way back in the day however she started to scare me with the clingyness. I mean she was planning our life together and I just wasn't comfortable with that, or moving that fast. The thing is, that I've never been on my own, I've always relied on someone else and I just don't want to do that. I want companionship but it's definitely NOT important to me. Definitely not the forefront in my mind.

I miss RP and I've been sort of putting myself out there but it's nothing compared to how much I used to RP. It's not the be-all-end-all to my existance, just something enjoyable that I'd like to do every once in a while.

All in all, I have my priorities set out. I'm on an excellent path to growth and the healing process has been going well. I rarely think about what was anymore and that's an excellent thing, it's helped me to move on with my life.

Six months ago, I saw a bleak wall with nothing to show for it. But now.. I see the light and can feel it's warmth. Spring always follows winter, you know.

It's awesome to see an entry from you :) It's been a while ~I also haven't been really keeping up to date with my own journal ;/Still, it's good to hear from you, and I'm glad it seems like you're feeling better.

It's so good to hear from you again :) *hugs* I'm glad that work has been going remarkably. Yay Hetalia! :D

But I'm not going to label myself anymore, and I'm certainly not going to jump in. This is a good move on your part. Who needs labels, anyway?

All in all, I have my priorities set out. I'm on an excellent path to growth and the healing process has been going well. I rarely think about what was anymore and that's an excellent thing, it's helped me to move on with my life. I'm so glad :) I'm still growing, day by day. I still beat myself up more than I should, but I'm trying to be better about it.

Everyone is growing.. and well some things just make you stronger in the long run. Labels are no fun and I'm realizing it. There's qualities about men that I admire just as there are qualities about women that I admire too.. so I just, am sick of limiting myself.

Ahahaha, yeah.. labels are just that. Besides it's more fun to just live life on the terms of your own.. and let no one dictate to you how it's going. I'm enjoying freedom.. I feel.. ahaha, to be monotonous.. I feel free.

I've come to the realization that all 90% of attraction for me is personality. The rest. meh, fuck it. It so unimportant to me. I thought I was asexual, but I think maybe I just don't even care about the gender of a person simply because my grandparents and parents never taught me or pushed me in a certain direction as far as sexuality was concerned. Interestingly I spent my childhood as a boy, until my boobs came in, as in I dressed like boys, I wore only swim trunks, went boy a a nick name (Ash) and all of it. LOL My parents just let me do it and no one really ever told me to was wrong or weird. Then I went into a the girl phrase for a little while and then finally went into a gender neutral area. And the only reason I even dated period was because my mom handed out a my number to some dude who had a friend who might be interested me based on common interests. That person could have been any race or gender as far as I knew, but my mom assumed it was a guy friend. It ended up being a guy. There was nothing special about the expirence, honestly. I was interested in messing with a penis because I had never touched one before and all but aside from that the only difference between a dick and dildo is one is warm and the other is not and one you have to move on your own and the other one moves for you. Yeah, that was the crap going through my mind the first time I ever had sex. I was comparing this random dude's dick to my dildos and Vibs. We are still together (3 years now LOL) but it has never been like super passionate, but its comfortable and stuff and we love each other in more of a deep friendship way I guess. I've had dinner with women at places like Yardhouse with a bar in it. Some of the them were interesting and I would have dated them if I had not been in a relationship. I'm more logical about it all. They better be clean (both genders) and not taste nasty (well with guys you can at least avoid most of it. Girls, damn that would be something. I guess it better taste good or okay. XD XD I'd try just to try it as long as the person was proven STD clean. But even so I don't consider myself bi or anything. I just don't care, and think "why the fuck not?" I live in one of the most GLBT places in the United States though, so its not really an issue here. So many people are I know are messing around with both. ]

Yeah, well you know.. there are many people that I miss on livejournal and you are definitely one of them. I am sure that I have tons of people on DW to friend as well.. I am also working on the application for a Final Fantasy sorting community application.

Hopefully you do well on your finals and I'm think I'm back for at least a little while.