Disney Renaissance Movies: Number Nine

None of the Native Americans know about lip stick… except for the princess and her friend…

Story
Greedy, white people come to Virginia to get some gold, they almost fight Pocahontas and her tribes, and then they leave. Wow… what was Disney thinking when they wrote this up? I’m going to go ahead and say they probably weren’t.

Storytelling
It’s better than the story at least… but that’s really not saying all too much. The dialogue is pretty stiff, and while the animation does soar frequently, it feels really empty without the desperately needed character development. I recommend getting your dosage of Pocahontas by watching Colors of the Wind and maybe Just Around the River Bend on YouTube instead. It’ll bring back those nostalgic feelings while allowing you to save a lot of your time on more worthwhile things.

Characters
The main characters are Zzz…sure, I liked the animals…Zzz…yeah, yeah, they should have removed all the other side-characters…Zzz…and what was up with that tree…Zzz…

Bringing it all together
Who honestly bought the romance?

Message
You all know what it is and, man, is it generic.

Conclusion
Pocahontas isn’t bad because it is historically inaccurate, insensitive to the Native Americans, took the criticisms that The Lion King should have received, or otherwise. Pocahontas is bad because it is an uneventful kid’s movie. Hercules will have the exact opposite problem in terms of its storytelling, but at least it will suit its younger audiences. Slumped comfortably in bed, I considered turning my tablet off and returning to it in the morning when I had more energy. It is that boring.