Why doesn’t he/she/it text me back? I mean, it’s been like two minutes since I hit send.

Sound familiar? We of a certain (clears throat) age, are often less tech savvy than our three-year-old grandchildren so please, show us some mercy. Reply back as soon asour texts comes through. We don’t consider that your phone isn’t attached to your hip or that you might have been at the movies, or that, gads, the battery was dead and you didn’t even read the text until an hour after it was sent.

We think you no longer love us. We see you rolling your eyes, mouthing “her again.”

And why did you let you battery go dead in the first place? What if something happens to you? Suppose you fall and break a hip—oh, sorry, you at your youthful age don’t worry about things like that—we of a (clears throat) age, do. That’s why I take my phone to the bathroom. Fully charged. You think I’m checking Facebook. In reality, it sits on the counter, just in case. It could happen. Don’t laugh. Look what happened to Elvis. Oh, I forgot, that was before your time.

You may not remember this, but there was a time we, of a certain age, left home without phones. If we had a flat tire on the road we did what any reasonable person would do—we walked to the nearest payphone and called Daddy. Now, these days, since my daddy is in heaven (probably shaking his head that I still don’t know how to change a flat tire) and God invented cell phones to use in emergencies, I never leave home without it. And it’s fully charged. I’ll postpone my run to the grocery store a half-mile away if my phone isn’t charged. Never know what might happen.

But then again, I’m not sure who I’d call if I did have a flat tire, break a hip, or fall off the roof of the house (just saying, it could happen). Because people under forty don’t answer their phones or reply to texts in a timely manner to suit anyone over 40 and my friends over 40 don’t know how to change a tire, either.

So yes, this life-saving device can, and often does cause additional anxiety. If you’re over 40.