Thursday, July 22, 2010

Las Aparicio Recaps eps 53-54

Therefore, don't be surprised if I'm bitchier than usual in these two recaps. But it's my blog and I can say what I want.

Just a friendly warning.

Let us commence.

Episode 53

Mariana's Loft. Night.

Julia has followed PAriana home after the eye soap incident. MEC accuses her of blowing the thing out of proportion, that she just got some soap in her eye and that Mariana shouldn't get so worked up over it. After all, it's just Armando.

¿Esta vieja es pendeja o se hace?

Sometimes I really don't know what to do with Julia, is she freaking serious?! It's not just some guey, it's Armando! Your ex boyfriend. The one you left to be with Mariana, like, less than a month ago.

What's the fuck is wrong with these people? In which universe is all of this okay and healthy for all of them? They're insane.

I can't even be snarky cause I'm kinda mad.

Anyway.

Mariana tells Julia that exact same thing, and that she's gonna drive her mad.

She's gonna drive us all mad, guey. I'm halfway there already. You are too.

The Queen of the Lala Land of rainbows, happiness and friendly exes insists that he's just that. Her EX. He's in the past, Mariana is her girl now, in the present. Can't Mariana tell the difference?

Auggghh.

Mariana is obviously no longer channeling me, if she were, she would've gone all Evil Xena on her ass and have, at least, a screaming match that ended with Julia crying.

No.

Emo admits that she feels that Armando has bad intentions with Julia and that there's something still going on between them.

Julia insists that whatever Armando wants is his problem, and that what's between them is the beginning of a good friendship.

Mariana continues pouting and throwing her childish fit, but Julia says all the right things and finally convinces Emo that she's being jealous over nothing .

They cuddle.

All in all a very sweet scene if I didn't know what was to come.

I gotta say, either Julia is a pathological liar who just lied to Mariana's face, or she really just meant everything, in which case she must be insane. Or on the verge of losing her mind to her fickleness.

Whatever the case, bad news for Mariana.

Mariana's Loft. Day.

The girls are hanging out, talking.

Julia asks Mariana about her talk with her dad, how did it go, what did they talk about? Etc. Mari tells her they talked about pretty much everything, including their (Juliana's) relationship. The Queen wants to know more. What did Mariana tell him? How they fell in love or..

Mariana: What? You're in love with me?

Plariana (Playfull+Mariana) says it in a playful way, but the question is a very valid one. I used to think that she was, but I'm not so sure someone would do the things Julia does to Mariana if they loved them. Or maybe she's not mature enough to love maturely.

Julia gives her a playful slap and goes 'no, silly, I'm not'....are they speaking the truth and hiding it in playful banter?

Anyway, someone's knocking on the door, the only time in the history of the show that the door is actually locked.

It's Armando and this is their reaction:

Just don't open the door, girls. It's just Armando, who cares if his feelings get hurt?

They don't listen to me and get up to let him in, both of them mumbling in annoyance. Mariana actually says she needs to start closing her gates because cockroaches (cucarachas) are getting in, which is where Armando's name Cuca came from.

Well, it's 15 episodes later and you still DON'T close your gates and doors, guey.

Armando continues on his quest to annoy us till the end of time...um I mean, being friends with the girls AKA winning Julia back, so he decided to drop by for a visit and bring them, yes, a pie he baked.

Ew. Please don't eat his pie, Julia, I beg you.

He tells them that he baked a pie and wants their professional opinion. When he notices them kinda roll their eyes, Cuca says that he can come later if it's a bad time.

PAriana tells him that he's already there, he might as well come in.

No, Mariana. I've said it before and I'll say it again: just because he's there, doesn't mean you have to let him in, talk to him or put up with his shit, he's your girlfriends' EX.

I swear, these people are like aliens to me.

Mariana mumbles 'cucaracha' to Julia as he comes in, and I repeat...why the hell did you let him in?

Mariana's Loft. Later that day.

The trio are in the kitchen eating the damn pie. Ew. Julia looks mighty fine with the leather jacket, I must say, and Mariana seems grossed out by Armando's pie.

Mariana: Sugar? Coooking time, guey? The point is to leave it in the oven for a while so that the contents can cook.

Well, hello again, PAriana. To be honest, the way she says it, it's funnier that it seems just reading it.

Armando says no one is born knowing all. When Julia walks away for a minute, Mariana is no longer PAriana and confronts Armando.

Mariana: What's up with you, eh?Armando: What do you mean?Mariana: Nobody buys that you're trying to get in touch with your feminine side, ok? What are you trying to do, Armando?Armando: I came here in good spirits, just so you could try out my pie, ok? You're the one who's getting all alpha male and territorial, not letting anyone near his woman. Eh? Not even those with good intentions. Mariana: (scoffs) Good intentions my ass, cabrón..Armando: Not cool, Marianita, not cool. It's clear you don't know anything about women.

Slap him, Mariana! Slap him!

She doesn't, she just let's him walk away. It's appalling how disrespected Mariana's house is time after time again, and she doesn't do anything, which pisses me off a lot and makes me sound more violent than I am....in reality I'm harmless! Really!

Mariana's Loft. Night.

Mariana and Julia are in their PJs, ready for bed. Do you live there already, Julia?

Emo is pacing around her room while MEC is reading a magazine on the bed. Cuca's words obviously got to Mariana.

Julia asks her what's up.

To sum it up, Mariana recognizes she's been all insecure and territorial with Julia, but she just needs to be reassured by Julia that she belongs to her. Emo needs to hear her say the words.

Miss pathological liar/crazy, fickle person tells her, and I quote:

"I am yours and no one else's"

Remember those words, dear readers....remember those words.

Mariana's face lights up like a Christmas tree and she goes like, 'really? really?' and starts kissing Julia, the two of them squealing and looking all in love.

Don't believe it, gueys, the writers are just fucking with our heads.

Oh , and their kissing still kinda sucks, but they do get better eventually.

And tonight I leave you with....

....Bruno, the hippie! Because he's a lucky bastard for getting Ileana! And I couldn't find anything more interesting today!

Enjoy.

Episode 54

Mariana's Loft. Day.

Julia is there again. I'm thinking she might be sneak moving in, cause I haven't seen her in Aparicio Central for a few eps.

I enjoy her booty as she goes over to the fridge.

Nice.

But then bad things start happening. She takes out the damn pie, and starts having Assmando sex flashbacks.

Yes, Miss 'i love you and only you, Mariana and I'm totally yours' is having fantasies about the EX who was so very, very much in her past.

See what I meant, dear readers? They were fucking with our heads in the previous episode. Marianita's head too.

Disturbed, but certainly not more disturbed than I am, Julia throws the pie away.

Mariana comes in searching for food and acting like a dork, she's soo hungry!

Julia tells her she'll cook her something nutritious and delicious.

And I gotta call bullshit on this. When Julia was with Armando and she had fantasies or close encounters with Mariana, she went straight to bed with him to reassure herself that she was straight and wanted to be with him and we had to endure his buttcrack. Why doesn't Julia do the same now? Come on! It's been a long time, I wanna see more topless Juliana sex, gueys.Alma's Atelier. Day.

Alma is giving her class. Armando is there. She mentions that jealousy sometimes works as an aphrodisiac for some couples. He looks over at Valeria and you just know he's gonna ask her out to make MEC jealous and more confused.

Later on, Ileana, Bruno and Assmando are talking. She accuses Cuca of only going there to check women out. He tells her that he's going there to learn how to win Julia back.

We know. Unfortunately, dealing with MEC, you don't have to try too hard.

Ileana approves. Screw you, dude, regardless of what a hot bod you have.

Armando spots Valeria and goes over to talk to her.

Mariana's Loft. Day.

Julia and Mariana are rehearsing for something, a casting, maybe?

The phone rings, but they're busy, so they let the machine answer.

It's Cuca, inviting them over to a double date with him and Valeria at his place. If they help with the food, he'll provide good wine (where does he get the money?).

To continue proving to me that they're crazy and change personalities every five minutes, Mariana says they should go, didn't they say they wanted to be friends?, she says.

What the hell, dude? Don't you hate him?

I give up.

Julia doesn't want to go, I'm guessing since she's in love/lust with him again, she's jealous. The official version? She thinks it's inappropriate.

It is, but you're totally jealous.

The 'woman with the bangs who should be Mariana, but just can't be because this is so unlike her', says they're going and that's it.

What? God, these people.

Why do I watch this show again?

Armando's Cave. Night.

The three schmucks are hanging out.

Yes, they are.

Julia is cooking dinner, Armando is manhandling the wine and Mariana looking like she wants to go home already (you back, my dear?). They talk about Armando's date, the classes he's talking and about how he wants to be cultivated, refined, new man. Like a lesbian, but better.

His words, not mine.

The girls make fun of him, but he brushes it off and goes to turn on the music.

Mariana is annoyed and tells Julia she wants to go home. Apparently they switched personalities on the way because now Julia wants to stay and show the world what a stable couple they are.

huh? and huh?

First huh? Weren't you the one that wanted to go, Mariana? How did you expect it would be? Fun?

Second huh? Who is doubting your stability as a couple, Julia?

Sigh.

These guys are giving me a headache.

Valeria arrives and Armando introduces them around. Julia barely spares a glance her way because she is NOT, in ANY way, jealous.

Later that night, as we hear Nana talking about possessiveness during the voice over, we see Armando getting cozy with Valeria. He's trying, and succeeding, to make Julia jealous. MEC tries to show off with Mariana too, but she will have none of it.

And tonight I leave you with........

........Claudio's hairy chest! Because I don't understand how Meche continues rubbing her skin against THAT!