Thanksgiving Fixin’s 14

#14

Sookie furiously knocked on the back door of Fangtasia, refusing to enter with the rest of the throng by the front door. Ginger peered out curiously and immediately shut the door as soon as she recognised the blonde at the door. The downright rude door slam only added to Sookie’s ire making the pounce on the door more insistent as she screamed, “Eric Northman! You get that pale ass of yours out here right now!”

The few stray fangbangers in the deserted parking lot hardly took notice at the display. Any other night and it would be one of them by the door begging to be taken again. Much to their despise it seemed tonight, for once, Eric Northman had listened to the pleas thrown his way.

“Sookie?” he said in confusion to the angry woman that had blatantly ignored him and his attentions for four consecutive years under the guise she wanted nothing to do with vampires. To his chagrin she seemed to make an exemption for all those residing in Bon Temps and though he now owned several properties there in a desperate attempt to be invited to the elusive annual supernatural Thanksgiving feast he had yet to receive an invite to.

Eric hardly had a chance to take in the whirlwind that was Sookie Stackhouse as she shoved him aside and strode down the hallway towards his office as she angrily tossed over her shoulder, “What took you so long? Too busy fucking another gold digger in the basement?”

“I gave that shit up years ago,” Eric growled back as he stalked behind her. “If you must know I was on throne duty.”

“Well at least somewhere some things have stayed the same,” she sighed while plopping herself on the leather sofa. Her face turned to a grimace, “Although I hope you tossed out that old couch with the chains.” He gave a brief nod to her astonishment. “When did you turn into such a pussy Eric Northman?”

“I knew I used to like you,” Pam purred as her face rounded the corner of the doorway. “What happened to you? Did you find out you weren’t pregnant and instead discovered those steel sets of balls you used to sport?”

“Did you just give birth?” Eric asked in confusion only now taking in the flat of her stomach in as he was still trying to get over the fact that Sookie seemed to be suffering from a personality transplant, though still strangely reminiscent of the women who had piqued his interest for the first time in a millennium.

“No the other me is still pregnant,” she huffed in annoyance to which she received two raised eyebrows held steady in question. “That bitch Marnie separated us during the fight in the graveyard. I’ve been stuck there ever since, until tonight.”

“Fairy Sookie,” Eric finally uttered with extreme satisfaction as he took in the noticeable difference.

“Took you long enough to notice!”

“Well I noticed,” Pam returned dryly. “Hated you from the moment you turned my maker down, at least I understood what all the fuzz was about before.”

“Thank you!” Sookie cried out exasperated. “I fucking bonded to you Eric Northman and you just went ‘meh’ when I said I still loved Bill! What is wrong with you? Where the fuck was the thousand year old warrior Viking God I fell in love with? Maybe I should shack up with Pam, at least she noticed I wasn’t myself!”

“You’re more than welcome to Tinks,” Pam returned with a lascivious wink.

“Pamela,” Eric growled out causing the vampire in question to immediately retreat as she abided by her maker’s wordless command to leave them alone. He scrutinised Sookie as she demurely sat on the sofa wondering how he had missed the shift in her personality. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” she confessed. “I got shot, Bill forced his blood down on me and I woke up in the cemetery. I thought I was a ghost until I saw stupid me flapping about having sex with any man on a headstone. I’m still trying to erase the memory of having to overhear veiny sex with Bill,” Sookie grimaced with a visible shudder. “Like I’d ever have sex with him again. Ugh.”

Eric couldn’t help but chuckle at her miserable memories which only seemed to anger her more. “You weren’t there! It was awful Eric I thought he was grunting like he was finally going to pass a bowel movement or something!” With that bit of commentary Eric fell apart with laughter as he remembered the eternal constipated set face of the Civil War vet.

“You know I always theorised he was turned mid-poop,” Eric managed to wheeze out between his hysterics. Thankfully Fairy Sookie was able to laugh along as she realised that she never would have to witness or overhear that again.

“What am I going to do Eric? Idiot Sookie has my house, my family and my friends. On top of that she rented out my vagina to any supernatural that winked at her.”

“You have me,” Eric said in comfort as he pulled her closer over the smooth leather. “She’s an idiot for not seeing the best thing that happened to her. Leaves you with the biggest prize.”

“Hmm. You make a lot of sense,” Sookie mused nuzzling into the comfort of his chest. “She doesn’t deserve you anyhow. But I still want my stuff and people back.”

“Pamela,” Eric called out knowing his progeny was listening in whether he tried to tell her to or not.

“Already on it!” she returned at a volume high enough for Sookie to overhear.

“Pam’s living on the wild side by dating a witch,” Eric answered her questioning look.

“I hate her already,” Sookie retorted with contempt of all things Wiccan that forced her to stand witness to her idiot half ineptly running her life all these years.

“She is extremely annoying,” he conceded, happy to share his prejudice of the magically inclined that ruined memories and many lives. “But useful.”

Amelia did prove useful, although Sookie had serious struggles trying to remain calm around the witch that she was sure possessed the loudest internal voice she had ever come across. She latched onto Eric for some internal peace that he was all too pleased to provide. Slowly as the night progressed her anger had waned and small touches became caresses. She moved from beside him to his lap as he whispered all sorts of flattery into her ears as he nibbled on her earlobes in between while the witch did her best to understand the spell that had separated Sookie into two, thoroughly probing Sookie for any relevant information.

“I think I figured it out,” Amelia finally concluded after conferring with her mentor in New Orleans. “Marnie didn’t do a separation spell as we initially thought but Bill must have made a deal with her to do a binding love spell through his blood.”

“Asshole.”

“It didn’t work properly because the fae part wouldn’t submit on account of the commitment she made to Eric by blood and light, therefore that part split off.”

“Bill died but his blood inside you didn’t, well the other you,” the witch explained. “On top of that all the matter of his blood had to fully disintegrate and according to Pam’s calculations in a vampire his age that would be about now.”

“Fucker couldn’t just walk into the sun like everyone else with a death wish?” Eric grumbled annoyed that Sookie could have returned to him years ago.

“Hush,” Sookie admonished kissing him softly on the lips for the first time that night if only to shut him up. Then he knew exactly who he was dealing with, this was the woman he had fallen in love with. The one who comforted him when his maker said goodbye and stood in his place. The one who had taken him in without a memory to his name, cared for him, fought for him and loved him equally in return. No wonder he had let the idiot version of her go. “Love you too,” she whispered feeling exactly what he felt through the bond that had slowly crept back to prominence throughout the night.

“So can I kill the other Sookie,” Pam asked with far too much malicious glee to be considered comfortable to anyone else in the room.

“No,” Amelia replied fiercely. “The two are connected, if one dies so does the other.”

“Well it’s a fucking miracle you’re still walking then,” Pam returned with a roll of her eyes before she settled in to pout about her missed opportunity kill that she had been meticulously planning in her head for years.

“So what do we do then?” Sookie asked.

“As far as Octavia can tell any spell with the Fae requires the sharing of light. Beyond that we don’t know much. Perhaps your great grandfather can help figure this out.”

“That free loading spaghetti thief?” the feisty fairy retorted with an impressive roll of her eyes. “He doesn’t seem very helpful in the least.”

“He’s the best shot you got,” Amelia returned as she gathered her magical items and tomes. “The spell is undone but you two are still apart.”

Sookie thanked the witch politely as she agreed with Eric that she had indeed been beneficial though she would make sure to stay well away from her and warn Pam that Amelia’s last relationship ended with her other half as a cat.

“Are you sure about this?” Eric asked concern coursing through his system and into hers.

She kissed him softly before answering, “You’re not?”

“What if…” The mere thought of having her and losing her again as she merged with her other half was too difficult for him to even admit out loud. She understood completely what words couldn’t express for him and through the bond she allowed him to feel what she felt for him, how whole she felt with him despite her missing half.

“We’re one Eric,” she whispered against his lips. “Nothing will steal that from us again.”

“I can’t lose you again Sookie,” he returned with pain in his eyes to which she softly kissed the lids. “The other Sookie moved on with some were who impregnated her.”

“Seriously Eric?” Sookie consoled as she wrapped her arms around him. “If you haven’t noticed yet I’m obviously the brains of the operations. Idiot Sookie won’t know what hit her. Besides she married that guy because she couldn’t afford a new tin roof which she would have if she ever made it to one of her damn shifts. She doesn’t love him, she has no idea how to. How else would she let you go?”

“Sure?”

“Definite,” she voiced confidently as she tapped a spot on her forehead which he then lovingly kissed. “Read her mind and everything. She’s pretty much a Renfield. But I’d like to hold off a bit, she’s the one that got us into that pregnancy so she can damn well suffer through the pain of childbirth.”

A/N : I expect this fixin’ will have a follow up fixin’ sometime soon as I’m just itching to write Fairy Sookie slapping some sense into Idiot Sookie.

The horror of veiny sex was inspired by my conversation with Sakshi Chopra so thanks for that!

My entry for Gyllene’s HEA contest, Intervention, was once meant to be a Thanksgiving Fixin’s feel free to check it out here.

I am still entertaining requests/prompts for these fixin’s. If they spark my imagination I’ll write it and credit you. So if you have something in mind or simply have an idea for the identity of the mystery man at the head of the table or something else leave it behind in the comment section below. Or simply rant about the final season… my associative brain picks up plenty of ideas from that alone 😀

I have to admit I do enjoy my little light bulb moments when I remember Eric’s observation of the two Sookie Stackhouses and how that would make the best explanation to what happened midway season four… right enough patting of own shoulder… glad to hear you’re loving this twist 😀

I was wondering what ever happen to fairy Sookie I guess this makes sense cuz Sookie started to act like a Renfield at one point … Loved how you called Naill “the spaghetti thief” like it was the only thing he cared about! fairy Sookie is smart making the other Sookie to go through childbirth alone!..Glad to see back.Take care

Are you kidding? Even Idiot Sookie isn’t that stupid! That faery made it sound as if giving birth was positively orgasmic – which I can assure you it’s not! I was one of those idiots back in the 80’s who did the “natural child birth” thing. The last thing on my mind was a big O. That’s what got me there in the first place and had me wishing he’d never had the fucking orgasm!

Fixin n.15 Loved everything about it , the interaction between Naill and Pam, Fairy Sookie finding out that Idiot Sookie is expecting Eric’s child…Wow. I really enjoyed reading these Thanksgiving fixing and thanks Hisviks for sharing them with us so sad knowing this is gonna be the last Take care

Sorry for the confusion but this isn’t the last fixin’, I was merely saying that I was expecting #14 would have one fixin’ that would be following it but is seems it will be at least a couple of connected ones, then I will get back to the stand alone fixin’s so no need for sadness they will still be here for a bit…

Fixin n.16 Hilarious! Poor Sookie ! Her eyes are blinded by the image of Naill and Pam together in the kitchen doing their stuff…can’t stop laughing! So glad these fixins are still here and we need at least another one to complete this one to get Fairy Sookie and Idiot Sookie reunited…Take care

Unfortunately my eyes are blinded too… thankfully I can type blind 😀 There will be at least one more in this mini-series but at the rate this merry band is going we’ll probably finish up with the baby as a teenager… they’re being awfully persistent, so feel free to tell me when to move on….

Not only do I want to see Fairy Sookie bitch slap Idiot Sookie but I want to be a fly on the wall when they have their mental conversation of just what, EXACTLY, she thought she was doing marrying a WERE, of all things when she was already BONDED to a vampire, why in heaven’s name she had pity veiny sex with the creeper and why she all but abandoned her life, her family and her friends for said creeper!
Oh, and are Fairy lessons forthcoming soon?

I see I need to make a secondary line for all the ‘fans’ (I really don’t know if we can call ourselves such as we were probably hate watching the majority of the time) for the bitch slapping fest… Just think of Stupid Sookie as a goldfish, her comprehension of things gets reset every thirty seconds and if someone smiles at her she follows them around like a lost puppy while she runs around in pointless circles till she accidentally kills them and moves on to the next… did she actually wear a wedding ring on the show? can’t remember that, although in my version the were is a half fairy that’s just there to prevent her from attracting the usual amount of trouble by Niall’s orders….

That certainly makes more sense than anything the HBO powers put out!
I didn’t watch the last season so I don’t know either *shrug*. It’s not like it really matters any way since she’ll just manage to mess that up like she has everything else that has been good in her life.
This mini-fixin’ should be put together as a short story and posted separately :), I’m enjoying it way too much to not want to read it again and again and again…

Well I was very satisfied to discover what went wrong and immediately set to putting it right 😀 When this ficlet is done… whenever that will be… I’ll split this mini series off and figure out some title for it and put it up as an .epub and .pdf… ‘Memoirs of a Goldfish’ is springing to mind at the moment… although that would be pretty much be as empty as Stupid Sookie’s mind….

#15 Seriously shipping Niall/Pam here… Shoe obsession is a perfectly common ground for a relationship is it not? And love the twist of the baby being Eric’s of course…

#16 My eyes hurt as do Sookie’s at the sight of Niall feeding off (literally) a naked Pam… Can’t wait for Idiot Sookie to be re-absorbed into Proper Sookie… Hopefully things go according to plan… Perhaps once the pregnancy is back in Proper Sookie’s womb the pregnancy becomes a multiple one? Isn’t that the way of the fairies (in addition to orgasmic births)?

Yes everyone was loving the N/P ship till we were confronted with it in #16… I couldn’t help but concoct that the baby was Eric’s, babies have enough mystery smells let’s not add a whiff of were shall we. Plus if the TB writers can just pull thin story lines out of the air so can I 😀 … This story is turning into a right supernatural soap opera because of it, (I am seriously restraining myself from making Lafayette Pam’s evil twin, or more evil twin) there will be a smidgen of drama before the Sookies can reunite. Like Eric once said the more she allows Fairy Sookie to speak for her the more likely she is to survive although it is a real testament to that fae/were guard of Stupid Sookie’s that she’s still walking and talking without getting killed all the time… I still have to toss in a makeover in there because Niall needs to be fabulous enough for Pam beyond a fondness of high quality footwear.

The next couple are written I think it’s heading to nine in total, if I figure out a title by tomorrow I’ll start pulling it away from the fixin’s and rearranging the pages so you can all just leave one comment per page… makes life so much simpler in the end right?

[…] many may have noticed and have been harassing me about (very kindly might I add) this little fixin’ is growing into its own right as a short story. I anticipate a few more installments and I had […]