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Book Reviews

Manslations

Decoding the Secret Language of Men

Comedian Jeff Mac rides to the rescue of frustrated women who feel that men behave and talk like visitors from another planet. With this book on “manslations”—“translations of male behavior into something that a woman can understand”—Mac offers ingenious insights on the Five Supreme Laws of Manslation, Better Gift Giving, and the Almighty Power of Manslation, and helps women understand the “secret language” of the male.

For example, consider the Manslator’s Golden Rule, which women should use to solve all dilemmas about understanding the men in their life: Whenever there is any conflict between what a man says and what he does, always, always ignore what he says. “If you can really understand this much about your man,” promises the author, “you’ll probably know even more about him than he does.” After all, men don’t always know what’s going on with themselves any better than their women do. When talking about how they think and feel, they are barely listening to themselves. Men will throw out “a load of crap in hopes that by saying it, it will be true.” But their behavior? “That doesn’t lie,” the author says. And he ought to know, as he is an expert in the field; he is a man, after all!

Further relationship analysis includes such topics as the “Do’s and Don’ts on First Dates” (e.g., go ahead and Google him before the first date; why not?), sports (“Men, like all male animals, like to beat the crap out of each other from time to time.”), romance (a total mystery to men: “We don’t really get it.”), “Control of the Television Remote Control” (‘way better than having an extra penis”), electronics (“GPS in the car means never having to ask for directions.”) and, of course, the big one: sex (“Every man who sees you is thinking, however briefly, about having sex with you.”).

The author’s brisk writing style serves well this playfully silly and yet honestly dead-on analysis of the male/female dynamic. Mac’s experience as a successful stand-up comic (and as the voice of a roll of toilet paper in TV commercials), not to mention having been involved in several less-than-perfect relationships (and one great one), gives him excellent credentials to be the self-proclaimed expert in the manslations field.

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