Friday, February 02, 2007

Twenty Things You May Not Know About Me And Probably Couldn't Care Less Anyway:

It's Competition Time!! Is anyone else stuck for 'busy work' to while away their time on a work-day afternoon? Does anyone else need to look like they're typing furiously? Well, I am and I do, so here's a little quiz, with an honest to goodness prize for the winner, something like a Borders gift certificate of unspecified worth (*wow*), whatever my cunning mind thinks is appropriate in about a month's time. If and only if you are the first to correctly guess which five statements are in fact a load of bollocks, only one guess per person, form an orderly queue. Competition not open to LK, but it would be interesting to see if he knew.

1. I have had poetry published.2. I am a natural blonde, no highlights nothing.3. I break out in a rash drinking tequila.4. I briefly had a pet lamb, Willie.5. I hold grudges for years.6. I have never shoplifted.7. I have never had a filling.8. I got married at 23.9. I have loudly farted on a first date.10. I can knit but I can't crochet.11. I have a green thumb.12. I have never broken a bone.13. I have testified in court.14. I was too scared to pump my own gas for years.15. I lost my virginity at 15.16. I graduated from Cambridge.17. I have an assistant who is terrified of me.18. I have been proposed to on a first date.19. I have over 10lbs of candy in my office20. I inhale but I don't swallow.

14 comments:

Anonymous
said...

1. No green thumb2. No one is terrified of you, including your assistant3. You don't hold grudges4. You've shoplifted5. You lost your virginity at 15!?...and I'm not gonna touch the inhale/swallow thing.Chilly Chia Pet (obviously just as bored this Friday afternoon)

oh come on guys! I've got this one:1. no green thumb2. you don't hold grudges3. you have broke a bone (ouch)I can't believe chilly missed that one!4. you didn't fart on a first date - but I've heard of people doing such a thing while practicing yoga....5. 10lbs of candy in office - how could you with that fat monitoring scale!!!over and out - Redfox

1) You broke your collarbone (I KNEW that)2) You don't have a green thumb3) You've shoplifted (I'm picking this over holding grudges and I don't want to find out if you do)4) Don't have 10 lbs of candy or you've had eaten it by now.5) I'm starting to think you were older than 23 when you married LKDid I win?Chilly

Anyone who thinks that Ali doesn't hold grudges has never held her head under water in a swimming pool!

On one side of Ali's family are some ladies that you wouldn't mess with, therefore she is genetically programmed to be scary! Lance could tell you that but Ali won't let him!

At the age of 15 she thought that boys were just those people at the back of the class who messed around in very important Geography lessons.

When Lance proposed, he had a full dose of proper english flu and was so doped up with Lemsip that he didn't know his own name, the chance of ali getting anybody drunk enough to propose on a first date is very very slim!

My guesses however are:-

1. Al is scared of farmyard creatures therefore the pet lamb is wrong.

2. Shoplifting. Everybody thinks that butter wouldn't melt (just an english phrase?) but I reckon she's a tea leaf.

3. I knew from a young age that she should never take the stabilisers off her bike! How is the collar bone al?

4. lost her virginity at 15 my arse!

5. I got the good teeth of the family, there's more metal in that mouth than jaws off James Bond!

Okay different approach - Ali, confirm, are these all true?2 - natural blonde3 - get rash from Tequila8 - married at 2310 - knit not crochet (spelling?)16 - graduated Cambridge17 - assistant is terrified18 - proposed to on first dateredfox is right on - right?

OKay - so I truly DO NOT have a life.....AND I got help from Turtle Rocket...these are Bollocks6. you have shoplifted - who hasn't? 11.You do not have a green thumb..12. You have broken a bone..15. You didn't lose it at 1520. just a good guess??? :)Redfox/Turtle Rocket

So much for one guess per person, some of us are just too competitive. I still think you've shoplifted, but it didn't fit in to my very careful statistical analysis, so here we go (and this is my FINAL attempt):These are NOT true:(7) Never had a filling(11) Have a green thumb (I KNOW this from the tree in your previous apartment)(12) You've never broken a bone(15) Lost your virginity at 15 (my son is 13, I can't go there right now)(18) You were proposed to on a first date (I actually believe this is true, but I also think you had a pet Willie and couldn't decide)On my way to Borders...

eat your heart out and get ready to pay up big time! The girls are together.......Chilly and redfox signing in...we are ready to collect.Bollocks is:6 you have shoplifted7 you do have fillings11 you don't have green thumb12 you have broken a bone15 you didn't lose it at 15we are now your BFF'sXO - Chilly and Redfox:)

About Me

Neil Diamond sums it up:
SB’s fine the sun shines ‘most the time, and the feeling is laid back.
Palm trees grow and rents are low (?)
but you know I keep thinking about making my way back.
I’m North of England born and raised
but nowadays I’m lost between two shores.
SB’s fine but it ain't home
North Yorkshire’s home but it ain’t mine no more.......