I hear an awful lot of talk about forgiveness in my job. Since I work with many people who’ve been wounded, both physically and emotionally, this topic often arises. And there is some disagreement regarding whether it’s best to forgive those that do us harm. I think I’m going to buck the system here a bit. Let me say that I don’t think it’s always necessary or even a good idea to forgive those that have wronged us. I see this dilemma especially when discussing life-altering issues like child sexual abuse. I often hear women agonize over the dilemma of forgiving their offender. In my opinion, there are some things that are unforgivable in this life and this happens to be one of them.

I know that a lot of current theory suggests that forgiveness is a necessary step to moving forward in life. I simply don’t agree! Some wrongdoings are just so unthinkable that finding forgiveness is an impossible task. Does that mean these people can’t move on? I think not! Those who choose not to forgive do move on and still find a way to put it in the past. I’ve seen this done successfully many times in my professional life. If you are struggling to forgive someone for some unspeakable act, stop agonizing over trying to do something that your heart won’t allow. Instead, focus on what you can do to move on. Peace of mind and happiness can be found without heart-felt forgiveness.