8/29/2016

Signing Death Warrants Is a Tricky Business

I took Peggy out to a nice pub for dinner. After some chitchat she reached into her purse, pulled out a folded paper, and handed it to me. I unfolded it and it was two signatures.

"Which do you like better?" she asked.

They were both her name and they both looked alike. I told her I liked the one on the right more and she took the paper and put it away.

After a drink and some food she handed me the paper again and asked me which one I liked more. I told her, "I already told you I liked the one on the right."

She said, "I know, but after a drink I want to see if that's changed."

After we spoke for a little longer she took out the paper and showed the server. He said he liked the one on the left better.

Peggy was really upset at that and told me, "I have to decide by tomorrow and an even number of people like each one!"

"How many people did you ask?"

"Two."

I said, "They both look the same. Why does it matter?"

She said, "Lives are at stake. That's all I can say."

She said it with utmost seriousness. It was all too weird for me so after we called it a night I never asked her out again. But I did email her a day or two later just because I was so curious. I asked her if she had ended up picking the right one.

She's either an author getting ready for her first book signing or that was an alias name she was using and she was trying to perfect the signature.What grown adult doesn't have a writing style?I think the only lives at stake were her creepy doll collection...

Ah, this is like when I go on a date and ask a woman to tell me which one of my socks are better. Some people say that they are the same because they're both part of the same pair, but only the awakened know that two socks can never be exactly the same. One is always better. Lives are at stake.

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