I’ve been knee-deep in the CONtrovery of Scientology lately, as it seems I’m mired in the False Slack of casual video games. You know, the stuff meant for middle-aged ladies like myself. I mostly like hidden-object mysteries, but I’m sort of in love with the casual mindlessness of Time-Management, Build-a-Village kind of games. Anyway, I listen to tons of videos and interviews about Scientology, and I feel like I’m almost an expert. For example, I know for a fact that I’m PTS and downstat. That means I’m sick, and someone in my life is responsible. To quote Lieutenant Harper in Plan 9 from Outer Space, “Somebody is responsible!”

This week’s content comes to us from http://www.everythingisterrible.com/, from the DJ/collage artist Defenestrator III (look for his tag on the posts there). In honor of the great work he does for the collective, or whatever you would call the folks at Everything is Terrible, I will now be posting all my podcasts in 160 kbps. I don’t think 82 megabytes is that much for most casual computing. It may put a bit of a strain on my cloud storage, but I think it’s the right thing to do. If you don’t want to download the music, please check me out on Soundcloud, at https://soundcloud.com/hellbound-allee.

Two sermons in a row! I’ll have to give you all a break from this nonsense. But since ATLAH has it on “good authority” that Oprah is the Antichrist and that Obama is the False Prophet, well, I’d better get that Important Information to you tout de suite!

It’s not Mothers’ Day, but with all the daffodils and crocuses coming up, it just might be time to drag out a Mother’s Day sermon. After all, it’s Women’s History Month, and this is, historically, what it’s like to be a woman listening to this kind of sermon every year on Mothers’ Day. Yeah, you get to hear about what an evil slut you are. I suddenly realize that it’s pretty damned easy to find something to listen to to be reminded how big of an evil slut you are, and I really didn’t need to help. But sometimes, just sometimes, we privileged few who do not have to live in that kind of environment (where you have to listen to males between the ages of 14 and 30 who were not raised by two moms), you don’t realize what kind of propaganda gets pumped into the souls of people with evil, slutty vaginas and vulvae and pudenda and that sort of thing. Makes us watch terrible television and read awful magazines, apparently. That’s beside the point. If I wanted to Destroy America, I’d….wait a minute. I DO want to Destroy America! The answer, my sistahs, is to consume, consume, consume False Slack. If only I’d have known it was so easy…

Does anyone think I need to celebrate because we have a big, round, and soft number here? I mean, should I wait until 500? That could be a long time from now.

Anti-irregardless, I hope everyone knows that this is one way to find out about what I’m doing, but there’s also Facebook, which I, uh, “do.” You can find “my facebook” at http://www.facebook.com/hellbound.alleee . Go ahead and friend me. It’s best to say, “hey I like yer podsmack” or something like that. If not that, Praise “Bob” and yer in.

This week, Francois takes over and rightly so, for this episode belongs to http://stardestroyer.net/ . The gentleman blogger describes to us how Star Wars in superior to Star Trek in every way. Now, before you send ME hate mail, let me tell you that this podcast is full of the hatemail Mr. Blogger gets. It brings out the child, the dreamer and the racist in these guys. Not that I agree about Star Wars, but I just don’t care enough. I’m a girl.

To start the New Year off right, I had to start it with fstdt.com . Fundies say the Darndest Things. This episode is all about Teh Gays, because DADT was FINALLY repealed, and the fundies are all OVER that shit. This has implications. Fundies have traditionally been pro-military: My Country: Love it or Leave It. So, maybe they’ll leave, or maybe they’ll stop supporting the military, or maybe, JUST MAYBE, they’ll start ignoring the gays? Or are they simple sports fans, supporting the team that DOESN’T acknowledge an Out player? Whatever they do, they’re screwed, and I couldn’t be happier.

On that note, I included the full addresses of the conversations, so that maybe I’ll have some of those people coming in here, complaining that I’ve misrepresented them in some way. Maybe I can ask them a few questions.

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