Blog about my life in general...being a former foster parent, a transracial adoptive mom, an avid gardener and a wannabe urban homesteader.

Friday, January 12, 2007

My Foster Journey.. Chapter Three: The Rollercoaster

I was on an emotional high after becoming a first time parent. I didn't even feel sleep deprived because I was excited to see her again after sleeping for a few hours. I was in love....head over heels love.

When you are a teenager and you fell in love for the first time....you thought "this is what love is like". You get a little older and had your first "real" relationship and you thought "now this is love". Later you entered into a commited marraige/life partnership/civil union/whatever and you thought "this is what true commited love is". Then you become a parent.....and you realize all the times before you never knew how deep, powerful and moving love is. You just scratched the surface at the expanse that is unconditional love.

This high begins the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with dealing with the foster care system. Like any government entity there is endless red tape, paperwork and politics. Common sense often goes out the window. The loss of control and the feeling of hopelessness is, at times, unbearable. I can only imagine how distressing it must be for the child that is living through it.

In one of my cases a child was almost put back into danger because social workers wouldn't share information between each other. One case dragged on and on because there were 4 different workers in 2 years. Those are the lows of the rollercoaster. Up and down, high and low.

Luckily it's alot like childbirth... after awhile you forget how painful it can be. So when they call again - you say yes.

And that's how I ended up being a new mom to a three month old AND another preemie newborn.