The animal inside of us

The following is a true experience. All times are relative and have been gathered with the help of my cell phone and what my fiance told me. Please read with an open mind.

August 13, 2011
1:00 am to 3:00 am PST
Bakersfield, CA 93301

It was about 1:00 am when I felt the now easily recognizable changes: my skin felt hotter to the touch, but I was cool and comfortable; my teeth would stay clenched, if I unclenched it felt awkward; my hands were stuck in a perpetual tensed, "clawed" position. I was on the phone with my fiance at the time.

At about 1:45 am I felt bursting with energy. The muscles in my arms, legs, and back were tensing then releasing; I felt like my body was strong and agile. It was about this time my senses kicked in. My cat was under my bed hissing and yowling, wouldn't let me near her. My nose started to feel clogged and congested. My hearing was heightened. And my sight seemed improved slightly, I depend upon glasses but was able to remove them. My vision still was blurry and not perfect, however, just seemed like glasses weren't tolerable.

At about 2:00 am I told my fiance that I needed to go and that something strange was happening. She told me to call her when I figured it out. I promptly threw my shorts, shirt, and flip-flops on. I headed out the door with my father sleeping on the couch, he never heard me leave. I walked about half a block sniffing the air, my face was twitching in and out of a snarl. My nose had felt cleared up a little when I stepped outside.

When I had walked about half a block, I got scent of something. I ran. And I ran. Six blocks I ran to the park, following my nose . I would stumble, but never fall, while I ran; my fingers would push me back up. Almost like I was running on all fours. I remember thinking that the city was suffocating me, I wanted nothing to do with people. Took a lot not to go off on any of the people I ran by. I had ran by a couple on the porch, and I swear I smelled the lust they had for each other while they were kissing. My nose was the most acute sense available to me. I had left my glasses, so was unable to see much further than 4 or 5 feet (better than the usual 2 or 3, which was nice). My feet felt hard and tough, like I could run across broken glass and only feel it a little. My ears were filled with everything; I heard cars, I heard my heart racing, I heard rustling in the bushes, I swore I heard people whispering about 15 feet while I ran by. It seemed I could hear everything.

The park was the most amazing experience. I saw what I can only explain as shimmers around the plants. Some were more visible than others. Out of instinct, I assume, I went up to the nearest tree with a clear "shimmer" and buried my nose in it. I sniffed and snuffled the tree; reached up on my tip toes and crouched down. I went to a patch of dirt with this same strong "shimmer" and repeated the sniffing and snuffling. I discovered that the stronger the shimmer, the more easily I could smell whatever was on it. Some smelled like animal urine, others very earthy and rich. Some reeked of alcohol or even human urine. I'll hazard a guess that I was there minutes, and that the run took 10.

At the end of the 30 minutes, I felt exhausted and near fainting. My throat was on fire, I could hardly breath or even walk. I stumbled and dragged my feet the rest of the way home while on the phone with my fiance. When I got home I promptly passed out. It was about 3:00 am.

That is an entry from my personal journal written the next day on August 14. I write in my personal journal to tell of my own spiritual journeys and encounters. I do not believe I'm a lycanthrope, but a therianthrope. I strongly believe we all have "Spirit Animals" which is an animal we most connect with. Most find it to be a wolf, I find it to be a bear. For the longest time I thought it was a canine, but alas I found I was ursine. My very stature resembles more of a bear than a wolf. I have a slouch in my back, which is still very clear even when I stand straight. I prefer to slowly walk, but do so very loudly. My eyesight is the worst of my senses, like a bear. My sense of smell, amazing. Ever since that experience, I've also found my more animalistic tendencies surfacing. My fiance scratches me like you would a large furry animal, and she even refers to me as "Hugabear" or "Silly bear". She also sees the ursine nature in me. My very playing is very bear-like in nature.

My point is, the moon is a very powerful force. Very commanding, very persuasive. And not just to the wolves. To all humans and their more animal-like nature. Be it a fishy nature, or a bird. A wolf, or a bear. A cat, or a bug.