~ A blog about the bible and life

Monthly Archives: January 2012

Today, I went to Starbucks for my customary Iced-Chai. I know it’s banal, but going to Starbucks is one of the highlights of my week…it makes me feel special. I know it sounds weird…but before you judge me, let me explain;

I am a creature of habit…and as such, I usually shop at the same stores, eat at the same restaurants, and go to the same coffee shops every time. When I visit my regular spots, I tend to follow a routine, I order the same things over and over again…I never get tired of them (my husband will probably attribute this to my stubborn nature, but I would like a second oppinion).

Starbucks is a prime example of my routine-following ways; I order the same drink every time, Iced-Chai…always. No exception – not ever. I have been going to the same Starbucks for two years now. Nowadays, the baristas know me by name, and they don’t even ask me for my order anymore, they know what I am going to drink…and when they see me walking towards the counter, they start preparing my drink, they greet me with a smile, take the money, and hand me my Iced-Venti Tazo Chai Tea Latte.

I particularly enjoy this routine, it makes my life easier, comfortable and as we all know: “sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, and they are always glad you came”…sorry, I couldn’t help the Cheers reference. (For all my friends who are either too young, or who weren’t raised by the T.V; Cheers is an 80s SITCOM … and the quote is from the theme song of the show).

My problem with Change (I don’t mean coins)Anyway, as a routine-loving person, I tend to dislike change; once I get used to something, I never want to get un-used to it. At this point I would like to clarify something; I am not a hoarder, or a person who prefers stagnation over progress…I am all for changing things for the better, this is not the change I dislike. The change I dislike is the one that involves replacing that which is predictable, with the unpredictable. I think I am not alone in this, a lot of people -whether it is consciously or unconsciously- dislike and even avoid this kind of change.

When Change leaves a VoidWhy do so many people -myself included- find this kind of change intimidating? Based on experience and observations, it seems to me that the reason why this change is especially intimidating is because it leaves a void behind. When we are used to something/or even someone (the way I am used to my routine, or some people are used to a person or a habit in their lives) it means that we like the place that it /(s)he holds in our lives…it/(s)he fills a need, it/(s)he fills a space, that otherwise would be empty…void.

I think this is true even for people who claim to love change…in a way, their love for change is a constant in their lives…this constant change means that they are always facing the thrill of the unknown…and this fills their life with anticipation and excitement…in absence of this constant change, there would be a void, there would be emptiness…and most of us tend to avoid that facing that void (no pun intended).

Why we need to rethink our void-avoidanceAccording to the online dictionary, the word “void” can be defined in various ways, for example; “containing no matter”, “empty”, “completely lacking”, “useless”, “unfilled”, and “not occupied”. I have more or less kept the order of appearance of all the definitions in order to make a point. When we think of void, we first tend to think of words such as emptiness, uselessness, and lacking…and those words carry negative connotations for us…they evoke a sense of loss and helplessness.

However, a void is not always negative; if we look at it as the state of being “not-occupied”, the notion of void suddenly seems to have the potential of something positive…and indeed it does.

The potential of a void

I remember a conversation at a dinner party with some friends a while ago, we were asking each other “hard questions”…and one of my friends was asked the following question: “If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?” My friend answered the following: “If I could change something about myself, I would have stopped pursuing some things in my life sooner rather than later”.

This answer steered the conversation in a very interesting direction, we talked about how sometimes we fail to let go of something in our lives…and in the process of holding on, we probably miss out on other opportunities, wasting time, energy, and resources. We avoid necessary changes, just because we do not want to face “not having something”to fill the space. Basically, the fear of letting go, the fear of change, is the fear of having a void in our life. We think that having a void in our life equals that we will be “lacking” something…This understanding prevents us from creating a place (un-occuping the space) for something that might ultimately be better for us. Had we embraced the void, had we un-occupied the space, we would’ve created a place for that which was better for us sooner, rather than later.

Buds’n’Roses

Another example of how voids are viewed from a negative perspective is the notion of “ending”. An ending is a change that leaves a void, or emptiness. Nothing comes after the end, right?

Dr. Henry Cloud wrote a book titled “Necessary Endings“, in it he talks about the notion of pruning…of how roses need to be pruned, because they produce more buds that they can sustain…thus, if a gardener wants his roses to blossom, some buds need to be pruned in order for other buds to blossom. In our lives, we face similar decisions, we need to face some changes that leave voids…however those voids are not negative, they are necessary because those voids create the conditions for other aspects of our life to blossom.

Facing Christian faith seems sometimes like facing a Void

In many ways, faith is like a void. Not the negative, one-sided notion of void…but the real notion of void.

From what I have come to understand, a void has two aspects;

1) The absence of that which should ordinarily fill a space, and

2) the potential for what could take its place.

In Hebrews 11:1, the bible defines faith as “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”.

Faith calls us to create a place for something that is not there yet…it calls us to hope, to embrace the potential of what is to come through Jesus. If we have a wrong understanding of what faith is, we will avoid it…like we try to avoid the voids in life…however, if we could re-examine our notion of faith, taking a closer look, and seeking a better understanding, perhaps we wouldn’t avoid it, and we could even embrace it.

Today I went to Starbucks for my customary Iced-Chai. For the last month, there has been a little tree with pink flowers to celebrate Chinese New Year…today they took it down, this reminded me of the changes we face, the voids we fear, the endings we avoid, pruning and faith.

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