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Drinking is a social thing. I could actually respect someone if they were allergic to alcohol as I have friends that are. However, abstaining because "it is evil" shows you have no self-control. All things in moderation.

Speaking of drinking, my mom actually complained to me that I don't drunk dial her. My brother's MO is "work hard, play hard" which I find far more destructive.

have a crush (don't we all) on a couple of jubbers here and i think i developed another one along the way but i refuse to say who they are and who the new crush is. plan on carrying that info to the grave. i'll never tell.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

You acknowledged above that most of us have crushes or people that interest us here on JUB. We can all relate to the feeling, and the world isn't going to come crashing down if people learn that you find them attractive. Last time there was a crush thread, I wrote a list of people that interest/arouse me; the responses I got were people telling me how flattered they were, or that it brightened their day.

Come on, part of you wants to tell us, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it. Besides, now I'm all curious and whatnot.

You acknowledged above that most of us have crushes or people that interest us here on JUB. We can all relate to the feeling, and the world isn't going to come crashing down if people learn that you find them attractive. Last time there was a crush thread, I wrote a list of people that interest/arouse me; the responses I got were people telling me how flattered they were, or that it brightened their day.

Come on, part of you wants to tell us, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it. Besides, now I'm all curious and whatnot.

Just spill already!

Originally Posted by RazorzEdge88

It is a confession thread; thus, you are supposed to name names. XD

Anders has a good point too.

sorry, not going to happen.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

I've noticed a couple of times, you've mentioned the term "jersey bastard". What's it mean? I googled it and came up with nothing, except a reference to a rap tune, which didn't help.

it's just me being silly. i just flipped ol dirty bastard into ol jersey bastard since i live in new jersey. can't really call myself dirty even though i've been slacking with the hygenie. not really going outside the house much anyway. *shrugs* i'm kinda living bummy where i might become an old dirty bastard for real.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

there was some pressure back there, but I didn't want to ask him "is it in?" because of how awkward it would make it if it was. lol. (he's small, but it's not exactly a micro penis... don't want to make him feel self conscious since his size doesn't bother me at all)

oh man... i am laughing at something that nobody or at least no sane human being should be laughing at right now. will not say what it is though because i don't want to get myself into hot water (it's nothing on here though that's for sure). it's something extremely fucked up, tragic and sad but somehow just picturing the whole situation from what was written it's funny. i'm evil as fuck and cold as hell for finding that funny. something is wrong with me.

even looking at the situation... it's fucking stupid. the whole situation is just a huge wtf. i blame the idiots that actually set the whole thing up as well as the idiot that was dumb enough to do what they did. completely inexcusable, unacceptable, and unavoidable.

I just had a phone call from a man who I confess I find rather exciting. My friends can't see the attraction; they say he's over weight with an odd-shaped head and he owns a sloppy jalopy. But I say that's unimportant; he's massively intelligent and his brain is like a lighthouse which can see through the fog of modern-day, pop-culture trash.

We're meeting up on Tuesday to see some Araki nonsense but I'm just going for him.

surprisingly, i'm calm and cool even listening to this angry, violent, threatening music. my mood is stable right now. i don't feel like running up on anybody. i am actually feeling peaceful.

back as a teenager, i would spaz out on people randomly, giving them a really, really nasty attitude. i stood up to some guys that ditched me at the lunch line, cursed them out, called them all sorts of curse words, names in front of everybody. gave the lunch lady an attitude plenty of times. got up in some chicks face that said some shit about how she was going to smack the shit out of me and she was looking at me with that "is this guy going to really hurt me?" i spazzed out on a couple of nj transit bus workers and one time on a nycmta person where i threatened her right around christmas time saying that i would fuck her up behind the booth.

my father and me used to get ready to duke it out back when i was in high school. yeah, i had an attitude problem but he was a fucking dick though. i remember him ready to fucking punk me around for simply saying the word "damn". dude would just snatch me by both of my wrist with both hands and throw me on the couch on some bully shit. i felt like dude was out of line for trying to come at me like that especially when he suddenly decided to start being a full time father when i was a teenager. all that time when i was a kid, you chose when you wanted to hang out with my bro and me which was a handful of times and you lived with us. but as soon as i turned 14, you suddenly change your tune and act like you give a fuck? then you come at me on some bully shit telling me what to do, ready to spaz out on me or whatever. the couch thing where he would just grab me and throw me on the couch on some threatening shit, i never forgave nor will i ever forgive him for that shit. as a 16, 17 year old, your ass had no fucking business putting your goddamn hands on me thinking you're going to punk me around. even speaking about this is ruining my feeling so i'll just stop before my mood heads south.

i decided to look up this clip from my wife and kids. somehow, it made me remember that someone actually made a thread about going through the same thing early this year. i can picture their whole experience being like this.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

had a strange dream last night. one involved me riding the bus passing in the same neighborhood my grade school is on. then it went into me heading up the main ave in my town, somehow walking through a dirty field smelling like gasoline and oil pans. i climbed up some hill with my hands and feet to get to where my brother and my homeboy were at.

then things got even weirder where i was at some hall and then there was some presidential debate between barrack obama and.... malcolm x. i was like WTF. malcolm x is dead. i was like really, is the obaminator really going to duke it out with malcolm? cnn was doing extensive coverage.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

You turned up in my family house back in Scotland, and you were sitting on the upper staircase with a small cat beside you. You said that you had to take your pet cat with you on the plane all the way from America because you couldn't find anyone to take care of it at home.

Then you went off downstairs and I followed, wondering if you'd gone home because you'd suddenly disappeared. But it turns out you were helping my (dad?) (uncle?) bring in some stuff from outside. Then you came back in through the back door into the kitchen, carrying an engineer's toolbox in your hand.

And then you were helping my mother and you were carrying a large dish of food over to the table for the evening dinner, but instead you just sat on a couch with it and started eating the whole thing straight off there and then.

You turned up in my family house back in Scotland, and you were sitting on the upper staircase with a small cat beside you. You said that you had to take your pet cat with you on the plane all the way from America because you couldn't find anyone to take care of it at home.

Then you went off downstairs and I followed, wondering if you'd gone home because you'd suddenly disappeared. But it turns out you were helping my (dad?) (uncle?) bring in some stuff from outside. Then you came back in through the back door into the kitchen, carrying an engineer's toolbox in your hand.

And then you were helping my mother and you were carrying a large dish of food over to the table for the evening dinner, but instead you just sat on a couch with it and started eating the whole thing straight off there and then.

That's all I can remember. It was a very vivid dream actually.

that dream sounds funny but yet creepy.

your dream sure as hell is implying something. it makes me sound like i'm a sociopath or something like i'll take advantage of you and your family for my gain. i would never do that to you, bro.

but that dream sounds creepy.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

My confession: I got 'let go' by a guy today. Another potential relationship bites the dust. I actually feel better on some level, though, since now I no longer have to wonder what he's thinking. I will never understand why people can't just be honest.

Confession: from my 10th to my 12th year of life, I really, really wanted to be a girl. It was nothing sexual.

I'd been brought up with all the boys toys, of course. I had an archery set. When we went to family friend's house, the boy wanted to play Cowboys and Indians. I went along, but I hated it. How I much preferred sitting in the girl's room, with her play phones, her play record player, and her dolls.

I liked to pretend I had long hair, in the style of Cher of 1972. My Dad had given me a crew cut, which I despised. When no one was looking, I would put on my Mother's long-hair wig, or put a shirt over my head, and use it for my "hair".

Somewhere around my 12th year of life, I saw a 38-or so year old man at the swimming pool we frequented each week. In the style of the era, he wore short, revealing trunks. I could see an enormous bulge (although it showed mostly balls). The image of that bulge stuck in my head, coming back to haunt me for weeks and weeks.

Then one day, when I turned about 13, I sat with that image in my head, and, suddenly, I realized that I wanted to suck his dick. So began my fascination with Daddies. I wanted to trace my young tongue down his chest hair, down that treasure trail, and open up those revealing blue trunks, and take his Daddy member in my mouth, working it until it finally surrendered its sweet, sticky milk. I could have spent the rest of my life with my face buried in his Daddy bush.

My budding sexuality had just opened that long-ago day.

But you know what? I no longer wanted to be a girl. The moment I began to have sexual fantasies, I forgot all about being a girl. Maybe I grew out of it. Who knows?

I wonder what happened to that Daddy? He looked very much like John Davidson. He has probably passed on now. If not, he'd be over 70 years old....

I can totally relate to your feelings here. I desired to be a girl too. I did many of the things you mentioned too; shirt for hair, record player, etc.

It wasn't so much wanting to be a woman, but more so jealousy over their ability to be sexy/sensual. And I have to admit, I liked all the accessories on the women I listed. Men's clothing is quite bland, and boring by comparison.

During the night of election day, I went with a friend who lived downtown, we had arranged to have drinks while watching the returns and sleeping over. This would also be a celebration of my new job that I'd start the next week.

I met him on an online gay profile page, we hung out last November. We didn't keep in contact much until this September when my job was gradually ending and I had more time. I hung out with him throughout October getting to know him better, so much that we had more in common than the bar hopper impression I had of him. And yes we did all the standard sexual activities besides actual fucking.

We got very buzzed or lightly drunk from wine that the bartender (his friend) kept pouring. After that we walked around the district visiting other gay bars just to see if he knew anyone there.

Later on we were walking back to his apartment in a street mostly devoid of other pedestrians. We were by then very close side by side (compared to other times we walked) and he grabbed my hand, I felt a bit awkward by this cause I never did this before. With our fingers interlocked, we walked silently on this cool night looking forward. I wasn't afraid or concerned if people saw us, in fact I felt good when a car drove by. I let go one time but he grabbed my hand again. I don't know when we finally did let go between the second hand grab and going up the stairs.

But that was probably the most memorable part of the night for me to be honest. I don't know how it will go from here but I'm just happy to have a friend that I can have a wide range of conversation with.