This is a slave's daily account of a 24/7 BDSM relationship. If you are easily offended by sexual or kinky topics, this journal is NOT for you, please refrain from reading. Should you decide to proceed, my hope is that you thoroughly enjoy yourself and feel free to leave comments.

Biz Page

On Being A "Professional" Master/slave

We've never, ever wanted to be mistaken for any of the countless people who claim to be a Master or slave when in reality, they just pretend for money. There's potentially a fine line in other folks' perception, and I've gone to considerable effort to never cross that line. My treasure writes here because she enjoys it, she loves to get and reply to comments and she also does it because I require it. In the beginning, it was a blog, nothing more, nothing less. In the last few years, it has become not only a blog, but also a hub for all of our online activity. Some of that activity is done simply for fun, some of it is to feed some sort of narcissistic need for kudos that I still deny having, and some of it is done to try to supplement our income by sharing our real life with others who might be willing to toss a few bucks our way for a small window into our normal activities. Normal for us but mere fantasies to them, things that they can't get at home or simply things that get their blood flowing south. Like most people, we started out never showing our faces, never being specific about where we live, blah blah blah. One day, I decided that I was tired of acting like I was ashamed of Myself or My girl, just so someone I knew wouldn't find a photo that would make them all butt hurt because of their own insecurities and closed-mindedness. In a very short time, we had started making videos and posting non-anonymous pictures all over the place. Eventually, My girl started doing live cam sessions for cash and it's become a multifaceted "business". That's why we're making this page. I didn't want it on the front page of the blog because this is still her blog, and always will be, but we wanted to add a page for some of the money-making things that we do.

About two years ago, we decided to test the waters with Kindle publishing. For a nominal fee of 99 cents a month, you can get this blog automatically delivered to your Kindle. Unfortunately, this makes it less likely for My girl to get the comments that she so loves, so if you decide to go the Kindle route, please come back here later to leave that comment you were thinking about!

Lately, we've had gentlemen ask if it was possible to buy My treasure's worn stockings. If worn stockings is what you seek, then we are happy to oblige. We've charged very reasonable amounts in the past, and that won't change. Pricing will depend entirely on quantity, color, availability, your location and any other variables or requests. We get her stockings from Europe, and we only order a few times a year, so we may have limited color options at any given time. If you're interested in My girl's worn stockings, or any other requests for that matter, please email her directly at precioustreasure_md@yahoo.com. We've done custom videos and would also be happy to do custom photosets. If it turns you on, and you think we can provide it, please don't hesitate to ask.

About 2 and a half years ago, we also decided to start making videos for sale. We've had a banner on the front page, but we've never really promoted it at all. Well, I'm not really going to promote it too much here either, but if you'd like to check out our clips, you can find them here. You can also find some of them here.

My treasure has also started working as a cam girl on ImLive. There's a banner on the front for this as well, but you can also click here or on the banner below to find her over there or schedule a meeting with her.

Banners here also!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

We got a new game called Quelf and if your family plays games you should get it, it's one of the best we've gotten in a really long time. We played it for hours last night, we ended up staying out until very late, we didn't get home until almost 4am because the game was so fun. It's supposed to take an hour or so to play one game and it's really easy to learn but it took us longer to play because we didn't stick to the timer exactly. If we had it wouldn't have taken as long. M's Dad who is normally a stick in the mud for every game we play really had some good laughs too.

Today we need to clean up the house and i'm sure Master will shovel snow, we got a lot more than the "flurries" they were calling for. It really snowed here yesterday and all last night. Master ended up cleaning off the car two times and in a matter of minutes it was nearly completely covered again. Thankfully at 3:40am there aren't many cars on the roads and you can take up as much road as you need to when the plows haven't touched even the main highways and interstates. It could have been a dangerous ride home if we had come home any earlier or if the roads had been more heavily traveled.

i'm not exactly positive when but there is a (i think) labia) piercing in my future. Master will be doing the honors and He comes fully prepared. It's been planned for years and in the makings for years as well it's only now coming to fruition. The only other details i know is that there will be two rings, as of yet, i don't know if they'll both be placed on the same side or opposite, of course, that will be a surprise. my initial reaction was that of fear and the more i think about it the more i know that it will work out fine. When we had the nipples done the man said that if i could go through that i could do any piercing at all, they would be the worst. i think if i freak out, it will be harder on Master and if i am calm and pliable, molding, it will make His job easier and help the whole process go more smoothly, lol i think.

Not much else going on except that we've got a huge mess, a lot of stuff to put a way and no place to put it. So that's it for me. Have a happy Sunday.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

So my cooking is going a little better. i made home made cornbread last week and it went much better than the biscuits, i just seem to have this aversion to following a recipe to the "t". i made the cornbread with homemade chili and even the chili was my own recipe. Master has said many times that He really doesn't like chili because it's too runny. A long time ago i heard someone say they tried their chili with macaroni noodles, and it's not the first time i've tried it. So i gave it another shot.

It's an unbelievably cheap meal, i filled an entire 5qt crock pot, toppings and made the bread for about 6 dollars. The best part about it is we had left overs for another entire meal and it's always better the next day. So that was a win.

i made Snickerdoodle cookies last night for Master's Mom, also another first for me and i seriously thought i was messing them up in a big way because they weren't getting brown.... on top...! ohhh you mean they aren't supposed to get brown... on top? Derrr. Thankfully i watched them closely and saw that they bottoms were browning and took them out.

i get very little feedback from Master on my cooking or baking, unless it's inedible or very good. i have come to assume that if He doesn't say anything it's acceptable. i'm still looking for that knock your socks off recipe, until i find it, i'll keep trying lol.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Tonight is a ritual night for us. A little different this year because we're watching a game also but still a ritual. We're wrapping presents during the football game, well, i'll wrap presents, Master will write out the tags. Then after we're done we're going to watch Emmit Otters Jug Band Christmas.

Now, if you've never seen it, it's seriously not to be missed. It's one of those Christmas shows that they used to have on every year and it went by the way side. i have no idea why because it's really one of the best. It's cute, the music is great and the message is amazing.

That's my plug for this year and every other year. i'm not going to take the time to look but i wouldn't be surprised if i've said this before lol.

Master put my very first collar on my yesterday because i pulled a muscle in my neck, so i put some conditioning lotion on it this morning. The collar is old, and stiff and didn't smell very good from being accidentally worn in the shower, dried and just being worn for so many years. So the lotion really helped spruce it up and took the smell away. As i was conditioning the collar i saw how worn it was, in different areas. Some areas i could polish up and made them shine again but the majority of it is so worn that there's no way to make it look perfect again. After i took some time massaging the lotion into the leather, i realized that it's just our relationship. Sometimes it gets stale and stagnant and only needs a fresh massage to look good again. It always feels comfortable and it takes very little effort to make things fresh again.

Master is out running last minute errands before the game and i'm trying to get supper ready to go before He gets home. i hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday night.

Friday, December 18, 2009

After all these years i finally found my way toFetlife. Master entered a holiday give away and told me to do the same. So here i am pimping their site and “Sit on Kinky Santa's Lap” giveaway! There are some very cool things to win too! =)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Yesterday was Master's big once a year shopping trip with His friend, they go out of town after His friend gets off work and they don't get home til pretty late. i got a late start and finally finished my hair and got dressed well after Master left. He'd left me instructions to put the leather cuffs and locks on as soon as i got out of the shower. No sooner had i changed from the shower collar to the leather collar and set the lock and slipped my foot into my shoe the doorbell rings. Thankfully the sleeves on my sweatshirts are always too long and i was wearing a turtleneck, so i yanked the arms down and pulled the neck up and went to the door. An hour and a half later, the neighbor left. She seriously talked straight for an hour and a half lol. She said a few times something about how they never hear us and how we're very quiet, they never know that we're even around. i was thinking if they only really knew us, they must think that we're the most boring people in the world that we have no lives and no imagination.

If she only knew that i was standing four feet from her wearing leather cuffs with locks, leather collar, 1 inch nipple rings large enough to swing from, she might just change her tune. But i stand there looking like June Cleaver in my skirt and stockings and heels and let her think that we're the vintage couple i'm sure she thinks we are. Perception is our own truth, if she perceives us as being boring and old fashioned which i'm sure is the case from what she's mentioned in the past, then to her, that's the truth. So be it, could be worse.

Master came home feeling bad that He didn't get to go hog wild this year like He does every year. i write about that every year, how He goes berserk with the Christmas shopping for me every year and i'm sure in my opinion He did way too much, but for Him, He didn't get to do enough. Money is way too tight for everyone this year and even for people who have money, you hear of them cutting back. We've cut back everywhere on pretty much everyone and no matter how you look at it, it sucks.

We'd love to find some kind of work we could do from home where Master didn't have to be away from me. Although the spells i've had aren't as frequent as they once were, i still have them, it would be nice if Master could be home. We've worked together before and would like to again but those jobs just don't even seem to exist. Maybe they do in larger cities but not around here in the middle of no-where-ville anyway.

Someone came in a dropped two tons of laundry in this house, can't be that i'm behind on my laundry again?? *ugh* i guess i better get moving on it, unless the laundry fairy is going to show up soon???

Sunday, December 13, 2009

i may not be the best cook or baker but at least i'm trying out new recipes. The only way to figure out the good ones is the fail a few times. i certainly failed at the biscuits tonight but my potato and corn chowder was pretty good. i'm also realizing that timing is seriously everything. i started peanut butter cookies and before i knew it was four hours later and i finally had dinner ready and the cookies done.

This week seems to have been a busy one. We finished all of our shopping and had a really good time doing it although we had a very late day and didn't get home until like almost 2am. The winter snow storm we were supposed to have didn't turn out to be too bad.

We're going to watch a movie and Master is waiting for me so i have to scoot.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

It's a good thing that Master's Mom watches the news or we'd be snowed in with no supplies! Not like we don't have a pantry fulla stuffs but still, no milk? ACK! So far we have "some inches" of snow, i dunno, looks like *this* much. But from what the Nat'l scare.. weather service says we're supposed to get the worst storm we've have in a bajillion years or something like that. Seriously that is how they word it and in all caps too!

Here, hot off the press, this is the actual post: IT HAS PROBABLY BEEN 20 TO 30 YEARS SINCE THE IMPACTS OF A WINTER STORM OF THIS STRENGTH HAVE BEEN SEEN IN THE AREA.

Now, that's not meant to scare anyone or make anyone drive like idiots or anything, they just want to caution people. mmhmm... riiiight. Then they wonder why all of a sudden the stores are bombarded with crazy customers and people are buying canned goods by the hundreds and milk in 50 gallon drums.

Anyway, Master and i got a couple things at the store last night and we're all set. Hopefully it won't be as bad as all that. It started last night at midnight but the worst of it is supposed to hit tonight. While it's snowing outside and looking like a winterwonderland out there, i'll work on making it look like a Christmas wonderland inside.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

We've been pretty productive i would say, i just wish it reflected on the look of things around here a bit. By the look of the house itself it's obvious that i've been pretty busy and i haven't had time to do much cleaning. Hopefully this afternoon i'll have a chance to find some sort of order, once things get out of hand it's so hard to catch up. We have made a huge dent in the DVD project though so that's good news.

It's been pretty enlightening looking through all these pictures though of how Master grew up and all the places He traveled. i always knew that He traveled and they went on a lot of vacations but i could never have imagined that they went all the places that they really did. It's actually pretty fascinating to see how much time they spent traveling. The Christmases were amazing too rooms full of presents, just awesome. i love how well documented their lives are even if the pictures aren't well organized there are just so many pictures of everything they did. His Mom didn't miss an opportunity to take a picture when she could. Master said that i haven't traveled near as much as His ex had with His family just because His parents are older and there hasn't been as much opportunity. As much as i've gotten to travel since i've been here i wouldn't dream of complaining. It's been more than i could dream of, we went to Florida two times and Master took me all over the west, not to mention two other trips south. That alone is just unbelievable to me, who could complain about that?

i think we're going to try to work on a few more pictures. i hope you're all having a nice weekend.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Too much to do and not enough time to do it in. All of a sudden it seems like everything is just piling up at once. The days are shorter it seems. Someone came along and just snatched away about 4 hours away from each day. Master and i are going to try again this year to get a couple DVD's made for His mom and dad and hopefully for His brother's family as well. The problem is that we have literally have thousands of pictures to sort through and i think yesterday we scanned over 500 pictures.

We have yet to put the tree up or any inside decorations but the outside ones are up and look nice. Tomorrow we're set to sit and scan pictures until our faces fall off. i just finished putting a casserole in the fridge for tomorrow nights supper so i barely have to leave the computer tomorrow. i'm going to get up, have my shower and really hit the pictures hard. We're just running short on time. We aren't doing too bad on presents and shopping but we always procrastinate and this is a project that just takes too long to put together.

i'm hoping that i'll be able to go help Master's mom clean at least one more time before Christmas for a little extra cash. It would help a bit as everything is tight right now. Seems like when it rains it pours. Extra stuff is all coming due at once and the battery on the van died, naturally. Anyway i might see if she needs help one more time before Christmas if i can squeeze it in myself.

i just hate the hustle and bustle because after the holiday there just seems like such a let down. i wish it lasted a bit longer i guess lol. my sister called last night with bad news, her marriage is really rocky right now and although Master says she has what she's got coming to her, i can't help but feel badly for her. i just hope good things for her and i wish she could be happy.

i hope that everyone is enjoying the holiday season. i hope i don't sound like i'm complaining. i love Christmas and everything about it. =)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Master was calling our Friday afternoon shopping pre-Christmas shopping. We basically browsed and because we started out so late, we didn't run into any trouble with crowds at all. We actually found some pretty good deals on a few things and had a nice time with absolutely no rushing around at all.

Yesterday it was really pretty outside, i think it was middle 50's outside so Master hung all the Christmas lights on the house and i put out the decorations in the lawn. Some of which have already fallen over because of the wind today. We need to stake them down better, Master didn't really have much to do with the staking down process or i'm sure they would be standing right now lol. i also need cords, they are all pretty bunched up haha. He said He would get me some so i can spread them out through the yard, i'm sure they'll look better once He's had a hand in it.

i'm sure glad we got everything done yesterday though because today it's cold and windy and nasty and it looks like it's going to be nasty from now on. Bleh. Maybe this week i'll spend time decorating inside and then helping His mom decorate her house. haha Lots of decorating for me, i guess it will depend on whatever He says we're doing this week.

i am supposed to be downstairs watching the game with Him so i can't stay on here too long or i'll hear Him hollering soon. i hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving weekend and safe traveling. Hopefully i'll get a chance this week to make a proper post.

i usually make a post every year for all the things that i am most thankful for. i am just as thankful this year for those same things as every other. i am more thankful this year than most that we're able to continue to celebrate this holiday when so many aren't. i was surrounded by family in a warm home with too much food, reminded that there are many people who weren't.

i am truly thankful for my life with Master and everything in it, the love, the trials, the rules, the tests, the confusion, the comfort, all of the "kids", the partnership, the peace, the hope, the yelling, the laughter, the sex, the passion that we have for our life together and each other, the friendship and the hysterically retarded things we do that only we think is funny that make us laugh until we cry on an almost daily basis.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

i hadn't realized until about 5 minutes ago that i haven't written all week. We're leaving to go work at His parents house today so i don't even have much time now. All i can say is that Master said last night things have been weird around here the last few days. i just worry a lot more than i should about things and as much as Master wishes i wouldn't, i can't help it. i don't have time to sit here and work it out now and His Mom's house won't clean itself.

i can tell i'm worrying more than i should, the last week i've hurt more than i have in a while, the thought of having to go clean is a bit less than appealing but it's a necessary evil. If i get that done today i can stay home tomorrow and go through the clothes that she sent home with me, haha i go over there to clean and she sends work home with me.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I'm not sure, I cry when I laugh all the time.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I used to.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Only the furry/feathery kind.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Too much, I'm sure.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS Nope.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Haha no.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Golden Grahams.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I used to be.

13. FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mint chocolate chip or Bunny tracks.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their teeth or jewelry

15. RED OR PINK? Pink

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Selfish worrying, inability to see beyond myself.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST Mom and G'ma, sister, best friend... I miss everyone because no one is near me.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Of Course

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Banana Bread

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The hum of the computer

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? The one that shows up pretty on the paper but if you go out of the lines it won't show too badly.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Grandma's soup, Mom's house on Thanksgiving, my Sister's pound cake, the kids right after their baths when they were babies. The smell when you first open your window and get that rush of pine in Northern Wisconsin and know you're there.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Today the house smells like banana bread, sounds like football and looks like fall has truly set in. my Mom would have loved it and it makes me miss her a lot. It also helps to remember her in a setting like this nearly exactly like this, when it's just turning cold outside and she's spending the day baking and cooking pretty much like i've just spent my day.

Master watched the football game earlier and has spent the remainder of the day working around the house and it just feels very fall-ish and productive around here today. Master was sick last week and when we ventured out for groceries last week we realized we hadn't left the house in eight days. We've been busy around the house the last few days since He's been better, so it hasn't seemed stuffy and all cabin feverish but it really struck us when we thought about it. Eight days at home is a long time and we didn't even realize it, i guess we're more home bodies and hermits than we realized. What's even funnier is that i fought it as it was, i really didn't want to go but i knew we needed a few things as it was when Master was sick His parent brought us milk so we were running low.

We've been having regular movie nights and we're finally getting through some movies that we've had piling up for years. Some that we've been wanting to watch for more than two years yet never took the time to watch. i think we have more in store for us tonight.

We spent some time yesterday looking at taking a more formal step in my dress, Master wants me to go to an open bottom girdle and long line bra. At the moment what i have isn't satisfactory. We'd have to do some shopping around but i am wearing a different girdle the last two days. i think it's a lot more firm, Master isn't sure He even thinks it's much different but it's playtex and much more difficult to get on. Anyway, there may be some changes in store for me that way. Slowly but surely i'm headed in the direction He wants me to go.

Monday, November 09, 2009

my sister just e-mailed this to me, i’m sure that everyone has seen this many times, i know this isn’t the first time i’ve seen it. This time it just struck a nerve with me though. Being the person that i am, in the relationship that i’m in, i don’t see myself using these phrases, words or terms with Master. The exception of course being thank You, when i say thank You i try to be sure that it’s always sincere.

It’s interesting to me that these words have become so recognizable that it’s funny and standard practice in so many marriages in our society. A short forty years ago a woman never would have dreamed of speaking to her husband like this nor would she have wanted to, the thought just wouldn’t have crossed her mind. This just isn’t funny to me because it’s so disrespectful to think that i have the right to “dare” my husband to do anything.

What ever happened to communication? This is what this is all about really and yes, i’m taking a joke and making it much more than it is, i’m making a point. i’m not angry about this silly little e-mail, i’m only reminded that things like this are oddly the norm for people and simply hilarious to those who act like this on a daily basis. i’m making a point that people think that it’s perfectly acceptable to speak to their partner as though should He step out of line there will be consequences and repercussions for His actions. Acting as though i have a hold over them for one reason or another, should they step out of line, they’ll pay for it! No one should live like this yet it seems to me many men nearly live in fear that they’ll disappoint or step out of line with their wives and then watch out, she’ll put her foot down.

This new way of living is beyond my comprehension, since when did the new and improved woman become that of Cruella DeVille? Am i the only one who see the coincidence in the age of the and improved woman and skyrocketing divorce rate? It’s very difficult to get an accurate stat because there are so many different theories and people to listen to. One i saw as of 2007 was as high as 72% of marriages end in divorce but that was the very highest i saw. i saw another that was 50% and another that was 43%. You can do your own research and come up with pretty much any stat you want depending on who you want to listen to and where you go. my point is very clear however. Less than 10% of all marriages in 1950 ended in divorce. i will attribute it to the way we talk or don’t talk to each other.

If i ever catch myself thinking “fine” or “go ahead” about Master, then i have some SERIOUS soul searching to do.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means one-half hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint.. Just say you're welcome. (This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' -- that will bring on a 'whatever '.)

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I've got it: Another dangerous statement , meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response, refer to # 3.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Master and i planted one more tree today, if you can call it that. We actually planted a stick that promises to be a lilac tree. It's so tiny that if you step away more than a couple feet it disappears to the naked eye hahaha!! i just can't imagine how they are supposed to make it through the winter months but we're told to plant them now so that's what we did.

i've felt pretty cruddy all day and now tonight Master says He's wondering if He might be getting something. i really hope He isn't! =(

Last night we watch three movies and we just got done watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. i really liked the story but the movie was incredibly slow. The story was really creative and heartfelt. i think we're going to try to watch another movie yet tonight.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Thank You Master! i just wanted to say thanks to Master for such a nice day yesterday. He took me shopping and to dinner yesterday for my birthday. We just basically spent the day browsing and window shopping. i can spend hours at Bed Bath and Beyond. He actually doesn't even seem to mind it there much either.

Today was so amazingly nice outside that we were outside all afternoon in tee shirts. We even took pictures to make sure we had a time stamp on the pictures to show that we were outside on November 7th in just a tee shirt. We planted five trees today that Master's Mom gave us. She made a donation to some Arbor Day thing and gave us 1/5 of the trees that she got. Tomorrow we have to plant one more tree, we're going to have a forest in the back yard before long! haha! In my opinion we can't have enough trees, as windy as it is here, the more trees the better to cut down on the drafts and to add shade. i just love trees no matter what. It's a very new neighborhood so there aren't many large trees, we have a long way to go before any of these are big enough to notice haha.

We even grilled out tonight it was so beautiful outside today. i think we're going to watch another movie so i'll wrap this up.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

We're all set! The candy is out, the decorations are out and everything is lit, now i'm just waiting for the little ones to come knocking. i usually spend all day the 30th cleaning and making the house spic n span, heaven knows why, it's just my silly tradition. This year i got hit with a bug and i've been a little tired so not much cleaning. i did manage to dust and vacuum but not much else.

Tonight is one of my favorite nights of the year, i wish Master enjoyed it as much as i do. i usually holler at Him to come and look at them at least once or twice but He's not much of a "kid" guy. i just love how cute they all look! Trick or treating starts at 5:30pm here, i think that is way too early, but eh i know the parents want the tiny ones back at home before the sun sets if possible.

The neighborhood is already buzzing and i can hear scary music playing haha it's going to be fun, everyone around here really gets into it. The dogs are barking and kids are running around screaming rofl! i better scoot off here and get set. i hope we have enough candy! Be safe and have fun!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Kaya asked this question on her journal and because i said i was stumped for writing material i'm just going to answer her here instead of comment on her journal. She asks "What are your thoughts on topping from the bottom?".

i haven't been very involved in the online BDSM community for various reasons basically i'm talking about discussion boards. i think this is where people get the most exposure but there is one main reason i don't visit discussion boards is because i don't like the confrontation or debate. i enjoy hearing an opinion albeit a peacefully placed one such as in a journal or article one that isn't easily debated.

Topping from the bottom is just as hot a topic as safe words. It's the never ending question that will be debated by BDSM'ers all over till the end of time. So i'll go ahead and give one more opinion of topping from the bottom. There is no right or wrong, there never will be, period. People can debate it and continue debating it and writing books about it and researching it until their fingers fall off but in the end the only thing that matter is what works for the couple.

There is one person who has the right to tell me if i am topping from the bottom and to tell me to shut up and to put me back in my place and that's the One that owns me. If anyone thinks that it's any other way or it should be any other way, then i think they haven't lived the lifestyle. Day in and day out through ripped stockings, burnt suppers, 10 tons of rock, cat puke and Florida vacations that we never want to end, He is the only One who can tell me if i am in the wrong by the way i am speaking to Him, trying to get what i want by trying to top Him.

i'm not speaking poorly of anyone who is investigating the lifestyle or researching BDSM but what i am saying is that there are some things that i believe are absolutely impossible to explain unless you've lived it. Could a woman who has given childbirth really ever explain it? i'm sure it's something that has to be experienced, there are just some things we have to live through, raising children, being drunk, true remorse or true love. There are some things that you must live.

The only way i'll ever know the real meaning of topping from the bottom is when He tells me i am, until then it is moot. He makes the rules.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

i am in a writing slump again. Sometimes throughout the week i used to get good ideas and write them down to blog about later. That isn't happening lately either. Master and i have just been keeping busy outside and finishing up before the snow flies there isn't a ton to talk about really.

He just called me outside to help Him finish the last of the big projects for the landscaping. We're headed out the door for a couple things for dinner. It's much later than i hoped to start planning our supper but i guess if we go now we won't have to scramble for things to eat the rest of the week.

i better run so He doesn't have to wait for me. Sorry for the short post!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

We got up pretty early today to attend Master's cousin's funeral. It was 2 hours away, the burial a bit further away yet. We both got almost no sleep Friday night so neither one of us in good shape but we made it. We still need to have supper but it's been such a wonkie day that i don't have any idea what we're doing lol.

It was a beautiful drive and the trees were amazing, Master even as tired as He was took the scenic route home. We even stopped at the American Gothic House. We learned a bit and had a little tourist trip for the afternoon. The house was 5 blocks from the church and we'd actually been at that church before but i never noticed the sign before. It's quite a tourist attraction, surprisingly.

my brain is sort of mushy tonight, i didn't really sleep much after we got home either so i'm sure i'm only rambling but i know i needed to write tonight.

Master and i went and got a bunch of new movies the other night, i wonder if we'll get to watch one tonight. We got some awesome ones! =)

Oh, if you have the chance to see the movie Intimate Affairs ... you might think twice about it. Omgosh hahaha it might be one of the worst we've ever seen HAHA!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Perfect Sunday, almost. Other than almost killing ourselves installing a new garage door opener, we've had an almost picture perfect Sunday. We watched the Vikings win another football game, i have an amazing supper in the crock pot and i worked in the yard out in the lovely fall weather.

This has been sort of a sickly week. i wasn't feeling well for a couple days, Master was under the weather one night so we haven't been doing a ton. Mostly spending time off and on working on the garage door and i've been working in the garage, cleaning and just poking around being the gopher.

Master has a cousin who is very ill and actually not really expected to make it out of the hospital. She is much older than Master so she's always seemed like an Aunt more than a cousin in my mind. It's been touch and go here for a few days and we've been just waiting for that call. His Mom is very close with her and it's going to be a very difficult loss. She's just a fantastic lady, she had her 65th birthday Friday. Too young to go, far too young, even though she's been sick for a long time.

When we got the call that she most likely wasn't going to make it we went to Master's parents house and everyone got together just to be with Master's parents. We had homemade pizza and just sort of hung out together for the night. They made it sound like she would be gone soon, but you never know. Anyway, i was glad that we could at least pull together for Master's Mom that one night. i hope that His Mom liked it, sometimes she's a little difficult to read.

Last night i made a honey bun cake from a recipe i saw on Face Book. Master isn't really a sweet eater and even He loved it and i'm not even saying that! haha He ate two pieces right away. If you decide to make this cake i would suggest one thing, double and thin the frosting. It's far too thick and there isn't near enough of it.

The whole house smells wonderful with a crock pot full of pot roast, veggies and potatoes. i sure hope it tastes as good as it smells.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

i'm sure that nearly everyone and anyone who has had a blog for more than a month is doing this today. If they aren't, they should!!!! Today is the day for you shy folks to come out of the closet so to speak. If you've never left a comment or said "hi" please do! i would love to hear from you today or any day. If you have left a comment and you're not a lurker, you're more than welcome to post a comment too!! hahahaha

This would also be a good time to ask a question, i've never done that before on my blog but it's a good time to open that up. If there's anything i haven't ever said that you might want to know about me or how we live. Go ahead and ask!! =)

Sunday, October 11, 2009

We were planning on watching football today but for some reason Master was awake all night last night. He was able to sleep one hour and when after the first few minutes of the game, He fell asleep. It was okay with me to get some more rest, i was up really late too. We didn't get home until after 2:30am from our night out.

While we ended up having a good time, it might have been the worst "kid" evening we've ever had, so bad in fact i ended up having to say something. i've never actually ever said "please make them stop" or "i can't handle anymore". Last night it was so bad both Master and i were just steps away from walking out the door. Why we don't just leave and never go back is truly a mystery, other than we enjoy our friends. i honestly can't do their beastly lack of manners justice and no one would believe it if i tried. At one point one of the girls was throwing her unwanted food on the floor, off her plate, in hopes the dog might eat it up for her. She wasn't looking where she was throwing the food however, so she was throwing the food, not only on the floor but on the chairs beside her and on coats and inside shoes that were placed on the floor along side her chair. On and on it goes until finally the screaming was out of control and when i said that i was really on overload, both of the parents said "this is nothing, this is a normal night". It did get a bit better than that because the girls heard me say it too.

The cabin season is about over and if we see them this winter it will be couples only, that is a very good thing. What a joyful thing that is... hahaha.

i'm off here to get out stuff for supper. i hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

This morning when i got up to let the dog outside, it was snowing. Snowing, on October 10th! Already? ugh. We're going over friends for dinner tonight, we were planning a fire but i can't imagine that will still happen as cold as it is.

We still have some outdoor projects to finish up before winter sets in, i imagine we'll work on getting those caught up this coming week. Things have been quiet around here really. Not a whole lot to write about these last couple weeks.

We made home made corn dogs last night, they turned out pretty well. Master was hoping for a better taste but i thought they were great for our first attempt. They were very easy too!

Here's the recipe we used:

1 quart oil for deep frying

1 cup all-purpose flour

2/3 cup yellow cornmeal

1/4 cup white sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons bacon drippings

1 egg, beaten

1 1/4 cups buttermilk

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

2 pounds hot dogs

wooden sticks

Heat oil in a deep fryer to 365 degrees F (185 degrees C).

In a large bowl, stir together the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder and salt. Stir in melted bacon drippings. Make a well in the center, and pour in the egg, buttermilk, and baking soda. Mix until everything is smooth and well blended.

Pat the hot dogs dry with paper towels so that the batter will stick. Insert wooden sticks into the ends. Dip the hot dogs in the batter one at a time, shaking off the excess. Deep fry a few at a time in the hot oil until they are as brown as you like them. Drain on paper towels or serve on paper plates.

We actually didn't bother with the bacon grease and didn't notice what seemed to be any drastic difference. Not like we just happen to have bacon grease on hand all the time hahaha.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Three years ago tonight she took her last breath. i don't dwell on it, i don't look at the calender and wait for this day to come and think about how i'm going to feel on this day. What does happen to me on this day is at some point i'm struck with an overwhelming feeling of time.

She's just simply been gone too long and every single day that goes by is an enemy. i don't want her to be gone another day, it makes me feel further and further away from the last time i talked to her and the last time i heard her laugh.

Tomorrow she'll still be gone and i'll still be here missing her, but today, i have to tell her how much i miss her. Today, she left us and today i miss my Mom.

A day late! i just wanted to say Happy Birthday Master! We had a busy day yesterday and another busy day today. This is the first chance i've had to get to my computer to post a Happy Birthday post to Him!

We went to His favorite place to eat and did a little bit of shopping, the weather wasn't great but i'm hoping He still had a really happy day anyway. Sunday we'll go to His favorite park with His family tomorrow and i hope the weather is nice, it was pretty cold today but it's supposed to be a little nicer tomorrow. We can have the shelter out there and have a really nice fire in this huge stone fireplace and keep warm that way. That's one of my favorite things about going out there, a roaring fire in the shelter and it feels a little bit like camping.

After everyone is gone, if it's not too horribly cold, Master and i will stay a little longer and sit at the fire for a while. Last year though the bats and freaky noises drove us away hahaha!!! i sort of got freaked out!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The other day my sister sent me this personality test. It's a very famous test that people have devoted their lives to studying, there are conferences and books, literature and heaven knows what else is out there about this test. i've taken tests very much like this before, just not this particular test. She sent me a link to this particular test and asked me to take it, the link she sent me was a test that you had to pay to take but i was able to find a free one. Before she even sent the email she had told me that she had figured out everyone in the family, she knew what "number" they were, with the exception of me.

She thought i was a #2, in her email to follow the phone call she said she just wasn't sure. She said "I think you're a #2, here are other famous #2: Mother Theresa, Jesus and The Fairy God Mother." Lovely, that's not much to live up to, right? So i took the test and called her back in a few minutes. Just like her i am fascinated by people, i love to know what makes people tick. my result : #2. Now, lets back up a bit shall we? Master hit the nail on the head with these tests... how skewed they can be because they are meant to encompass every single individual taking them. There are good and bad traits in every single person taking them and each description offers a negative side to each person. For the #2 while they are inherently good they are also the martyr. What slave, what servant doesn't have a tendency to play the part of the martyr?

In my eyes it's a terrible character flaw and it's also true for me. So i know that Master thinks that this test was a bunch of hooie it was also good for me to see and recognize that i have some good but there is a huge flaw in that good. At my best, i am His servant, the best slave to Him that i can be. At my worst, i'll play the part of the martyr. NOT an attractive quality for a slave. i'm really happy to see it, it's not something i didn't know, i think? i am glad i know it's there because if i can catch it, maybe i can stop it. If i'm upset and i need help, at my worst, i'll stew about it. At the height of martyrdom i'll will stew about it. Knowing about it, i can do better and talking it out, when i've always been so bad at that.

We're supposed to be on our way to a pizza birthday party but we're going to be late, we're always late for some reason or another lol. Anyway i better get this posted.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Master has been working all week on then music project on His computer. Now that His work at His Mom's house is nearly finished He felt a bit more relaxed so He spent nearly the entire week working on music. We made a huge dent but the task is huge and will take months to finish i'm sure.

It's finally starting to feel a bit like fall around here. Just a few days ago it was nearly 80 which is insane, i waited the whole summer for it to be nice enough to swim and now i'm waiting for the weather to turn just a bit for it to feel like fall. We have a lot to get done before it gets cold though, the pool to close for winter and a garage door opener to hang.

i have really felt just awful this week, some days the pain has been nearly unbearable. That's actually kind of funny, unbearable. What's unbearable? What can't we take? We can take anything that doesn't kill us i suppose and i wasn't anywhere near dying. i just hurt... a lot. There, i'll say that.

Master and i watched The Secret Life of Bees last night. i've been wanting to watch it for like.... ever! It came on HBO so He DVR'd it for me. It wasn't a movie He was particularly interested in watching which is completely atypical of Him. If i want to watch a movie, He wants to watch it with me. Last night He said He would sit through the first few minutes and if He hated it, He would get up and work on more music. He watched the whole thing. It was just awesome. When it was over He got up and said "I still don't like Queen Latifa!". Hahaha she was amazing in that movie, i gotta say and i do like her, she's been in some great movies.

Anyway, that's all i've got for today. i don't have any of my fall decorations out yet and now that it's decided to start looking like fall, maybe i should get some out.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

While watching the Vikings win their game today, Master made an official declaration! Football has been declared the official sport of this family, now and forever more!!! hehe

He's been a Vikings fan forever and we used to watch NASCAR also but now all we watch is Football so.. boom. There it is. =)

We had a nice time at dinner last night, we got home, i went to bed. i really don't have much today because i got up and we watched the game. So.. ya... nuttin.

Master did tell me to blog about this though so lol here it is. i am super tired today, someone was outside in this normally sleepy neighborhood at 4am honking their horn and it set the dog off for the entire night. The rest of the night that dog was on his worst behavior barking at the wind. Master told me i should have gotten Him up, actually i'm really glad He didn't hear them. lol...

Friday, September 18, 2009

Kaya just asked a really thought provoking question on her journal and instead of just commenting on her post, i'm just flat out stealing the topic. Ya, i'm not proud =p. All i want to do is address the topic as to how it relates to me. i can't be so brazen as to think i could look beyond my own journal when it comes to something like this.

She asked basically, how are you submitting if you're never asked to do anything that isn't something you wouldn't normally do anyway. Isn't it just living your life and giving it a fancy name just cause it sounds cool?

So because she asks this i'm forced to look at my own submission and challenge myself. The easiest most discernible way to examine my life as His slave is to look at where i came from and look at the rules that i follow every day. i don't know if i've ever actually posted Master's rules for me on here but there are about 43 rules that i read every day and (try to) follow to the letter every day. i fail, i fail miserably some days but just because i have been given rules to follow that alone doesn't "make me" a submissive. The rules remind me of His will for me and His dreams for me one day, they offer reminder of His goals but the rules are small part of my submission. It's the fact that i yearn to attain those goals and continue to strive to reach those goals a little bit more every day. So many days though i feel like it's 5 steps backward and the next day it's 1 step forward.

The days i love are the days when i make 3 good steps forward and He says "good girl" at the end of the day. i think the biggest acts of submission are sometimes the smallest things. For me it's not never wearing pants again or putting on 3 inch heels every day. It's learning to stop talking back, shutting my mouth for the love of God! That's the submission that's the hardest for me. i have learned how to wear a corselette and stockings in 100 degree weather and not blink an eye, but i can't keep my fingernails painted??? What's with that?

i win and i lose but like i said the days i win are the days when HE SAYS ... "good girl". eh... submission is in you like your blood, i believe you're born with it, i know that's debatable, that is just what i believe in my heart. my submission to Master is easy in some ways because i was born to submit. =)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

i don't have all that much on my mind today really. i'm kinda tired from a party that we went to last night and staying up late to listen to music with Master. i don't even know if i've mentioned this music project Master is working on but it's enormous and He is spending so much time on it. He said that He didn't think i was giving it as much time as i should so i've really been trying to dedicate more time to it and help Him get through it faster. i would really love to be done sometime. i love listening to music but this is more than a chore than enjoyment and the task is really insurmountable. Anyway, there have been some late nights, more for Master than me though.

Tonight we're having yet another family get together. Seems like we sure have a lot of them and i don't mind, i rather like them and now that we (Master) isn't smoking it's so much easier to spend longer days with His family. It's His parents anniversary and His Dad's birthday, they are showing another outdoor movie and i hope that this movie is nothing like that last one they had. Haha omgosh that was hilarious in an embarrassing sort of way, i thought Master was going to crawl out of His skin at some parts knowing His Mom was right there!!

The day will seem short because we have to be out at His sister's house in just a few hours and we'll be out there until very late. One nice thing is that we'll be able to start the movie a little earlier with it getting dark a little earlier. Hopefully i'll be able to stay awake for the movie! hehehe!!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

It's not always what i say that sometimes seem to make things go more smoothly it's the words i choose not to say. In our day to day lives i try really hard to keep anything that might be confrontational with Master to myself, it's an unbelievable challenge to balance confrontation and sharing an opinion that i think He may want to hear. Master says that i am emotionless, last night He claimed that i addressed Him as an office manager when in fact, i couldn't for the life of me recall what i said to Him or how i said it. Now as i sit here i can't figure out what i said. The challenge of being completely obedient, following the exact rules at the exact moments and not become robotic is a conversation Master and i have had many times and it's something that i struggle with.

The claim that i'm emotionless is always hurtful though. i laugh so much with Master and my family and friends and i cry when i'm sad, i get upset or angry when things irritate me, i become frustrated... i DO have issues with letting go and breaking down walls. i have serious issues but emotionless isn't fair. i'm just throwing this out there into never never land into the world of the unknown, i'm just writing this to be writing it. At this point i think i need to start journaling with the idea that i'm writing to just get things out. The original reason i started writing. There are a lot of things that i needed to write about and then the journal became bland and a place where i wrote about a lot of nothing.

The other morning Master had just gotten up and He was getting a package together to ship and i made up a song, most times i do it to make Him laugh and this one i had practiced before He got up. i thought that if i started out the day right it would be a really good day. i waited until He was up for a few minutes, He had been up for about 10 minutes or so before i started my song. He was actually irritated this time when normally my songs are something that make His day. i wasn't really upset about it, it was just bad timing, i should have known better. The reason that i am even thinking about it is because of the comment He made last night. i forgot about the song until He mentioned that i was emotionless again last night. Emotionless people, people who have no life left in them, don't make up songs and try to enjoy life like that, as far as i would think. All i'm saying is that i know i have a long way to go in my journey to break down my walls but i do try.

Trying to live a life as a good slave, where is the line? When do we speak up and when is it considered arguing? After eight years i still haven't figured out when to shut up. Most of the time i choose to say nothing, it's safer but when i'm asked for my opinion, how far do we go?

These are things i struggle with every day and i know this post is a jumbled mess lol.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

When we were preparing for the outdoor movie i thought we would never need all the pillows and blankets Master was having me gather. hehehe i was super wrong, after sitting for six hours i think we could have used even a few more cushions!! We had an amazing time at the movies! The weather was terrific it got just chilly enough about 1/2 way through the first movie that i crawled into the back of the van where we had the bed all made up. It was so cozy in there we had like 4 layers of cushions and comforters and huge pillows HAHA! With the car stereo as the movie sound it's really amazing cause you just feel the movie all around you.

The only bad thing for Master was, there were other people there!!!! rofl!! Seriously i think sometimes Master should just not be let out in public, He just doesn't deal well with inconsiderate people and that seems to make up the better part of the population these days. There was just one night after the full moon so it was really bright out, but as soon as people started their cars to pull out almost every single person, flipped their headlights on. When we're pulling into a restaurant, Master shuts the lights off before pulling into a spot, so as not to blind the people sitting at their table while they are eating. Every once in a blue moon we'll see someone else do it, but it's very rare. It's just about thinking about someone other than yourself.

When we were driving all around the other day with His parents we had their van which has a handicap permit. Master's mom wanted Him to take a Handicap spot at a very busy restaurant. Master said there was absolutely no reason for Him to take a spot that someone else can use when He can easily drop them off and walk the distance. We'd been doing it all day, we'd been dropping them at the doors and Master and i had been walking in from the parking lots. She was very angry when she got out but Master said "i want to save those spots for someone who needs them, i'm sorry if that makes me a bad person" and i said "no, it makes You a good person".

i got off on a tangent anyway, back to the movie. i guess there isn't much more to say other than, who would have ever thought that i would be sitting at an outdoor movie or any public venue of any kind wearing a leash? He kept me in a leash all night except when He let me out to use the bathroom. i had very little wiggle room, but enough that i was able to watch the movie well enough but just enough that i knew it was there. i saw that He brought other toys, next time we talked about making some kind of shades for the curtain, just something to block headlights and provide privacy on the sides. We'd like to go one more time before they close for the year, i guess we'll see.

Master and i were talking about doing different things with my blog and He said that i would have to make it more interesting. heh.. yeah ... the thing is there are a lot of things i don't talk about on here and i can't even really say why i don't write about the more intimate things. Sometimes i get these ideas that i think .. hey i should write about "that" on my blog... my opinion of a popular view on something in the BDSM world, something that i've never really written about before and then i think, bleh everyone writes about their opinions and i don't want to be looked at as someone who looks like they have all the answers to every unanswered BDSM question. It's a really cocky self righteous thing to do, to just write my opinion of something isn't it? As if to say that THIS is what i think! i am assuming that everyone wants to know my view on every BDSM topic and i'm going to tell them! LOLOL!!!

So back to the drawing board, writing about our very basic, if you will, D/s lifestyle. It can be very exciting at times but for the most part it's not a story book life, it's just life as we know it and as we live it, day to day. Then again you never know i might just venture into the unknown, if Master says that He wants more from me... i've lived bottled up for a long time. This might just be a good way to spill the beans. A few beans at a time.... eeeeep!

Friday, September 04, 2009

This week we worked a bit over at Master's parents house trying to finish up the remodel work and i did some cleaning. Today we went shopping with Master's parents to try to see about some corner trim and i'm hoping we found some that might be the perfect thing. We'll see how it fits once Master gets a piece cut.

Tomorrow night we're going to an outdoor movie triple feature so we're preparing for the night and getting the van cleaned out. i worked getting some blankets washed up, we cleaned out the van and i used the shop vac in the very back. We're going to load the whole back end with every pillow and blanket we can find cause we're going to be back there for hours and hours hahaha. We also went to the store tonight and got tons of horrid snacks LOL. Master went NUTS at the "movie candy" section. There was actually a section of the candy isle called "movie candy" and He went crazy. He bought candy i didn't even know existed. If we even eat a 1/4 of what we bought we'll be sick for a week i swear. Master said this was only the second major thing we've done for the summer and the summer is basically over so we can stand to spend a little bit of money on this night. Actually we spent very little anyway but still it was all junk food lol. Who knows if we'll even be able to stay awake for that many movies hehehe.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

It seemed like i didn't stop running from the second i got up yesterday until i went to bed last night. i did my house work here before we left to go to Master's parents and then i worked there for His mom until around 9pm. i still had stuff to do when we got home from His parents house and i think i finally got to sit down around 10:30 or 11pm. Those long days take a toll on me but i don't feel too bad today. i know i still have a lot to do today and it's another really nice day today, hopefully we'll be able to get outside stuff done.

Master has been working in such cramped spaces in such odd positions that He really messed up His back. Once He was up and working yesterday it wasn't too bad but it was super bad yesterday morning. It will just take time to heal i'm sure.

We are having M's parents for a cookout tonight, the food is prepared for the most part, i marinated chicken breasts in Italian dressing last night and i'm going to make a blueberry dessert pizza. i found a recipe on line that couldn't be any easier if they did it for you. It sounds pretty good, i hope it is! When M's mom gets here we're going to put some green beans together for a casserole and i have potatoes to bake. About the easiest supper i could think of!! =)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

It's absolutely amazing outside today. It was really pretty out last Saturday too, i hope we get to spend some time outside today. i am just disappointed at how cold it's already getting, it seems like we've already seen the warmest of summer and we were barely able to even touch the pool. i think we are going to Master's parents house again today to work, in a little while though. i have a lot of chores and stuff i need to do here. i have laundry that i need to get done today before we leave to go to Master's parents house.

We've had so much rain that we haven't had a chance to get the back yard cut and it's super long hopefully we'll have a chance to get out there and work in the yard this weekend. We are supposed to have Master's parents over for a cook out tomorrow night i'm just hoping that it will be nice out tomorrow, like it is today.

Not much else is really going on, now that Master is almost done with the construction part of His parents bathroom, i'll be working to clean the house from all the dust. Every single inch of their house is covered in dust it will take a long time to get their house clean again from all the work they did. i didn't make much progress this week with the cleaning i was only there a couple days i think, i don't even really remember. Most nights i just remember laying on the couch, this was a pretty rough week for me pain wise. i'm sure next week will be better.

i am going to get moving on my laundry and try to get something accomplished before we have to leave.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The last few days for Master and i have been like one misunderstanding after another it seems. Master doesn't do well when i don't understand Him. He isn't known for His patience and the angrier He gets the more flustered i get so the less i understand. Honestly He thinks that i am upsetting Him on purpose when i could look at Him and not have any idea what i have done wrong. Sometimes i wish i had these life events on video so i could go back and watch the whole thing again and see where i went wrong. Life is just a blur to me so much of the time i feel like one of those spinning tops and Master is the Man with the string and i am trying desperately not to fall off of the surface that He's put me on, all the while continuing the spin at an acceptable pace so as not to topple over and stop spinning altogether. Wind me up too tight and i spin out of control, lolol.

This last week i worked at His Mom's house for a couple days in a row and that is hard on me, mentally and physically. i stood for 6 hours the first day and never sat down for even 30 seconds to even use the rest room and my legs paid for it later and i realized i was standing in 3 inch heels. The heels weren't the issue, it was the fact that i should have given myself short breaks to rest. The next day i stood for the same amount of time but in lower heels and i did give myself breaks but because my legs were tired from the day before it was sort of in vane.

We are going to a going away picnic today for one of Masters cousins today and i just looked at the time, i better scoot off of here before we're incredibly late for the meal. It's shaping up to be a wonderful day weather wise for the party. i hope you all have a lovely Sunday!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The other night Master and i were getting caught up on America's Got Talent. We watched several episodes at one setting it may have been like 5 hours of the show. One of the guest performers was a band called lmfao.... First off, i'm not even sure why the network allows them to announce their name, seeing that it's an abbreviation for what everyone believes to be the foulest word in the English language. Master and i were .. speechless? angry? mortified? There just aren't enough words to describe how horrible these people are and then to be given an opportunity to play what might be one of the largest venues in the world right now... wow, just wow. Not only was their attempt at music a complete bust but the way they presented themselves was just disgusting. They looked like they were going to school on that one day during Homecoming week when everyone dressed as ridiculously as possible hoping to outdo one another.

For me it wasn't so much at how they looked though it was the fact that they seemed to have absolutely no musical ability whatsoever. i didn't hear anything from any of them that could be construed as talent yet here they were on the largest talent show on earth posing as what might be considered a model?

If you're looking for fairness in the world, that's not the place to look. How that group of folks got tossed into the limelight is not only unfair it's a train wreck.

i just stepped outside and it's absolutely gorgeous outside today. i hope we get to spend some time outside today and enjoy the weather, it's rained almost all week. Maybe we'll find something at the store to grill out, who knows i'll have to ask the Boss!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

There were many different sessions this weekend but last night was the most intense of them all. We sat out on the swing after dinner for several hours and talked. Master did most of the talking, i did the majority of the listening. He did the feeling, the demonstrating, using His property to show me just what He wants from me and what He will get, sooner rather than later. He was very gentle, never raised His voice, not once, never put a rough hand to me, never any physical pressure. He just showed me that He'll get me to where He wants me through love and Dominance, period.

This weekend has been a work in progress for me. Master has spent the weekend working with me on my openness to my own femininity. While i have grown used to dressing the way He has wanted me to for a few years now i am not where He wants me to be completely, mind, body and soul. Master doesn't only want me to look like a lady or act like a lady, He wants me to think, breath and respond to Him in every manner like a feminine lady and be aroused by all the things that arouse Him. This weekend has been fairly intense, nearly a workshop, working on responding to Him, the way He wants me to respond to Him.

In some ways, it's been difficult, nearly too intense at times and i have wanted to ask Him for a break, in some ways i have felt like the most blessed, lucky slave in the world. He has pushed my limits and become frustrated and impatient, He has also (i think) been happy with some of the results. As always like every other facet of our relationship, this is a work in progress but this weekend will never be forgotten and i now have a huge jump start toward attaining this goal. i no longer look at this seemingly insurmountable task with the same dim outlook. i know that i can do this, with Master plugging along beside me.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

i found an article in the Reader's Digest the other night about "today's woman". i'm using the term lightly here because it's very subjective. This article and the book they are referring to certainly doesn't reflect any of my own feelings toward marriage. The book is called The Superior Wife Syndrome: Why women do everything so well and why - for the sake of our marriages- We've got to stop.

Basically the book states that men see that after having children husbands surrender all aspects of family concerns and duties to the wife and the husband becomes oblivious to everything around him. The woman is powerless to kick him into gear, so she has to do everything to keep the house running. She has created a monster by being so efficient, basically. So, who's fault is it? In a relationship like Master and i have, it's my position to do my chores and indoor tasks but if He were to one day tell me that i were to take care of every single thing around the house, would we fall into this position? Never say Never, but i would have to say i seriously doubt it. He in His dominance still runs the house and everything in and around it.

Master and i have had countless talks about how it's too bad that more people can't live this life, even if it's not M/s or D/s, just some type of clearly defined role where there is no mistaking who is in charge, there is no arguing, there is no question of how things will end up. When it's a healthy make up, there can be discussion or there can just be clearly defined rules. A woman shouldn't have to beg her mate to become part of the relationship, he should be fully invested of his own accord, if he knew he was the ruler of the roost, no matter what, if he knew he was the final say, there is just no question in my mind he'd be all in. It's just so sad when i see a woman pleading with her husband to back her up when disciplining the children, if he knew that he wouldn't be over ruled by the woman, i'm sure he would all in with those kids from day one. That's a guess but i bet it's a good one.

The only thing that this book does is reinforce my choice in life. i am so glad i chose the path that i did, honestly i really walked into it blindly for the most part, i thought it sounded "fun". Little did i know it would be one of the best things i would do for myself. =)

Sunday, August 09, 2009

We had a really nice weekend. Saturday we went to a family pic nic and Master went night fishing, i just sat at the computer while He was gone and spent my evening that way. He got home really super late and i was already in bed. Today i went swimming and had a friend and her daughter and a friend over. It was so hot outside that the pool water was very warm and finally got to enjoy the water.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Step 2:Always take care of your hair. Not a strand should be out of place.

Step 3:If you are not well-endowed in your torso area, use bra inserts, augmenters, or the chicshaper. Large bosoms featured prominently in Levin's original story.

Step 4:If you are not thin, wear a girdle.

Step 5:Wear tight, but conservatively-cut clothing to show off your assets. (Remember to wear an apron during housework)

Step 6:Look in the mirror. Imagine yourself as a girl in a television commercial; you should look flawless, at all times. The picture of the Stepford Wife is the picture of a person who is healthy and takes good care of herself.

Step 7:Clean clean clean! Everything needs to be spotless. Even if it takes a dozen repeated rubs, scrubs, and buff in the same spot. Clean and clean some more, in every corner of the house.

Step 8:Cook.

Step 9:Shop at the supermarket. Push your cart slowly. All items need to be placed in your shopping cart neatly, methodically, and in an orderly fashion.

Step 10:Practice gracious and polite behavior even when you are alone. Eat with the silverware in place even when you eat alone. Etiquette and proper manners begin at home, when no one is looking.

Step 11:Never raise your voice.

Step 12:Always say "please" and "thank you" for the smallest things, in public and private.

Step 13:Always apologize for the smallest things, in public and private.

Step 14:Do not possess any strong opinions on any subject, unless you are expressing enthusiasm for cleaning products or food ingredients and recipes.

Step 15:Your man is No.1. He is the kingpin in your life. You answer first to him, then to your son, and then other men (and only when you are spoken to).

Step 16:Don't read, because who has time when you have this much housework to do and so many men to attend to?

The last one is funny, don't read? i also like the one about only expressing an opinion about food ingredients and recipes hehe. This reminds me a little bit of the Good Housekeeping guidelines. Master sent this to me in an email and i thought i would share it. Some of them are pretty neat and interesting!

Sunday, August 02, 2009

i nearly forgot to make this post, i meant to take a couple minutes earlier this evening and it completely slipped my mind. We had a wonderful weekend with Master Dark and His desyre. We spent most of the time just chatting. Saturday the weather cleared up enough to spend some time in the pool and we had a lovely supper and a great time at the bon fire.

i think that everything went perfectly and i can't wait until they come back. i just couldn't be more excited to think that i finally have a real life friend in the lifestyle that knows us and truly knows me. This is a really exciting time in our life. Her Master is new to the lifestyle and i think He is going to be an incredible Master to her as they grow together. We're really excited for them.

Master and her Master worked on rules Saturday night. It was fun for me to listen mostly and be a part of the beginning of their life together. We're going to really make an effort to get together often. i wish we were closer but it's not too bad.

Friday, July 31, 2009

We've had a busy week this week getting ready for company, we're really excited to spend the weekend with Master Dark and His desyre. They'll be here late tonight and we'll have the weekend to spend with them.

i really hope we have nice weather this weekend. We've finally gotten the pool cleaned and now i think it's too cold to swim in lol. It's incredible how cold it's been this summer! i don't mind it just for the temperature itself but for swimming it's just not warm enough to heat up the pool.

i really have a whole lot of nothing to say today, we're just spending the day getting ready for our company. i am really looking forward to seeing them!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Last week was a busy week for us with Master's brother in town. We spent a lot of time with them at Master's sister's house and one day we all went to play miniature golf. This weekend we got a weekend off from the cabin and next weekend we won't be going either. Master was actually planning on going down there and taking something to grill Himself but when He buzzed His buddy, He was already eating. Oddly though, He knew that Master was planning on coming down to grill and they had talked about it. Master said something like "you never eat this early" and all he said was "yeah well, tonight's different". Nothing else, no apology for not calling Master to let Him know that plans might have changed or to let us know, for all he knew we might have gone out to buy something and prepared something to take down there to grill. Master never said another word on the walkie and neither did he. Master stayed home all night and we had supper together and we chatted on line with friends.

i just feel awful when someone is mean to Master, i don't know if Master felt as bad about it as i did but what a rotten thing for him to do. i don't care how much fun he is to be around or how funny he might be occasionally, no one is worth putting up with stuff like that and it's happening all too often. Friendships are supposed to be fruitful and enpowering, these relationships are damaging. True that we don't have anyone else local to hang out with but it would be healthier for us to search for other people to hang out with than spend any more time with them.

Last night we went through Master's rules for me again, i have a love/hate relationship with those rules. i like to go through them with Master but it's always a reminder of the work i need. i read them every day and the full list every Monday. When we go through them together it's an eye opener though of the real work i need.

We have quite a bit to do this coming week and i would like to get some stuff done today, i guess i'll have to see what's on Master's mind for today. i better sign off here if i want to get anything done!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

When my Mom died i was given a bunch of her clothes because i was the closest to her size but still i was a bit bigger than her. We took the best of her clothes, most of them still with tags, others barely worn to the local resale shop and see if they might sell, after i had another look through them. For whatever reason, those clothes stayed in the trunk of the car for ages and i mean ages. Until finally one day Master said enough was enough and we had to bring them inside and we'd go through them together. Neither of us realized the timing. Since her death, i had taken off a significant amount of weight and as i was trying on all these clothes, surprisingly, they fit perfectly. i had expected to toss them all into a pile to take to the resale shop but item after item was fitting really well. So Master allowed me to keep most everything.

There was one brand new sweater that i remember my Mom buying, she was excited about it, but she never had a chance to wear it and it still had the tags on it. It has become my favorite sweater. When our kitty got sick i was trying to give her some medicine, she scratched me and now it has a hole, right in the front and it's basically ruined. How stupid is it that i'm so sad about this sweater being ruined? i looked on e-bay this morning to see if there just might be another one on there like it but she bought it so long ago there's no way i'll find this sweater again. It wouldn't be the same anyway.

i think i have to be grateful that i was able to wear it for that long and enjoy it for as long as i was. Had we taken the clothing to the resale shop right away or had i tried the clothes on right away, i wouldn't have been able to wear anything. As it was, by waiting as long as we did, i had lost enough weight to wear almost everything. =)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Yesterday afternoon M's Mom called and said that they were on their way over so M's Brother could see the deck and pool. M's brother hasn't ever seen the finished project as he lives in Virginia. So that got us motivated to work outside a bit and as soon as i'm done with a few chores inside i would like to head back out for a while.

M tossed the football around a bit with His brother and nephew for a bit then everyone decided that pizza sounded better than watching M's Mom and i weed! hmph!

When we got home we spent part of the evening chatting with the couple that Master helped get together. We have a really fun time when we're chatting with them. She even made a blog last night, i'll have to ask if it's alright for me to link her blog on here. If so, i'll do it on my next post. Her Master gave her a beautiful name and M found that URL was available!

Well, i'm off to weed, bleh, it's seriously an evil job. Have a happy Sunday!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

This seems like it's been the longest week. Master worked on His Mom's shower remodeling job and i went with Him for two days to help her clean. Master's brother and family were expected to be here Friday morning sometime from Virginia so there was a real rush to get that shower done at least enough to use. i ended up with a slight touch of the flu or something so i stayed home Thursday while Master went to finish up as much as He can until the plaster work is finished. Only a few hours after Master finished up the shower His brother and family rolled into town lol. Just in time haha.

Last night we went to Master's Mom's for a cook out and a bon-fire. We had a nice time but pretty much everyone was very tired, i was still a little worn out from whatever it was that i had so i was glad to get home as well. We're all amazed at how cold it was last night, we were totally bundled up and sitting close to the fire in the middle of July, craziness! It's still cold today and it doesn't look like it's going to warm up any time soon, some summer we're having. bleh

i hope it warms up though we're having company in a couple weeks and we'd like to at least use the pool a little this summer! Speaking of the pool, i think Master said we're working on it again today... i better scoot!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

We're going to Master's Mom's house in a little while, i get to "help" with construction... ha.ha. That should be funny. Especially considering Master's mood today. Lets just say it's less than jovial. It started out with a reminder phone call to pay a "not yet over-due" bill. i don't even know why they make those calls, i am fairly sure it's just to make people like Master extremely mad, and it works every single time. Master gets overly angry though.

Then i told Him about the ants again and He got so furious at me that He walked out of the den and threw something, His soda i think. He's mad because i obsess about ants in the house. i've been trying all summer to keep the ants out of the house with cleaning and vinegar and a few ant traps. For the most part it's been working, they aren't on the counters and they aren't nearly as bad as they have been in years past. Our neighbor ended up having to get an exterminator. There is no way to avoid them, we live in sand, in this area, everyone gets ants, that's just the way it is, but the last couple years they've been pretty bad and no matter how hard i try i can't get rid of them alone. i get them down to just about nothing and then they pop up again. So i go weeks without mentioning them and once i mention them again, He completely goes off the handle. i just can't handle knowing they are around and i go on for a couple days and as much as i try not to say anything, today i had some on my shoes and feet. When i told Him about it... i had really wished i hadn't. *sigh* i know that if i'm diligent with them, i'll get rid of them. They hate vinegar, sadly, so does Master and these are in the den, the place that He spends most of His time when He's home, so this one is going to be a tough one to balance.

Anyway, i better get scooting off here so i can get ready to go. Master is taking a short nap before we leave, hopefully when He wakes up He'll be in a little bit better mood.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Just one of those weeks where it seems like everything is going wrong or just bleh. The weather seems like it's never going to warm up, we can't seem to get the pool to cooperate at all, no matter how much time and money we spend on it! We've spent what seems like a ton of money and we have spent a ton of time on that stupid thing and it seems to be a theme around these parts, no one has clear water this year. U G H!

Master was getting ready to leave Wednesday morning to work at His Mom's house, i was planning on working on the pool all day, i ran out to flip the switch on the pump and -nothing-. Again, nothing. The seal was broken, getting water into the pump, throwing the breaker. Blah blah blah... the pool pump was broken. Master had been saying for the last couple weeks it was dying and it's only 2 years old, just barely 2 years old! One good thing happened, great thing actually, we took it to get it fixed yesterday and it was fixed in one afternoon for about 1/3 of the cost we expected! YaY!

One exciting thing has taken place in the last few weeks and it's pretty much all cause of Master. He hooked up with an old friend on facebook, a gal that He and His ex used to spend time with her and her then husband. He also hooked up with a buddy that He used to work with also on facebook. Master introduced them on line and she just moved from Nebraska to live with him in Iowa! When Master first found her she was so very sad, super lonely and Master's buddy had broken up with his girlfriend, they were both seriously miserable. She was naturally pretty scared but it really seems to be going well, she is wearing a new collar but in general they are taking the D/s aspect very slowly. She has lived the lifestyle for a long time but he is new to it and Master is being the best mentor He knows how. i just can't believe what a miracle it seems to be that they were both so miserable just a few months ago to how happy they both are today. Master couldn't be happier, i think He feels like cupid! <3 They'll be here in a couple weeks for the weekend, we're really excited to see them together!

Sunday, July 05, 2009

i hope everyone had a good 4th, it seems like this weekend has been a little longer because most everyone had Friday off. We went to Master's Sister's house on Friday night for a cook out and to our friend's cabin later that night. We were tempted not to go to the cabin at all for the 4th and we should have gone with that gut feeling. Every time we go down there things get worse. This time the rain drove us all inside the cramped cabin with the poorly behaved children and that's never a good thing. i think sooner or later we're going to have to come to terms with the fact that we just can't spend time with them or limit our time drastically when the kids are around. This particular time it took nearly 15 minutes and quite a bit of screaming to get one child out of Master's chair so the adults could all sit together around the table. She refused to get up, making it impossible for Master and i to squeeze in and sit around the table. It was quite the scene and it was literally no less than a 15 minute ordeal and so very uncomfortable. Just another example of terrible parenting and horrible behavior, i wanted sooooo badly to say Master "Well should we just go? There's no were to sit" But it would have just caused a scene. The whole time they are screaming at this child to get up out of the chair because until she does, we can't sit and she's refusing to move. Oh and you might think the kid is like 4 or 5 years old, no, she's 14.

Yesterday we went back to Master's sister's house for fireworks and we were supposed to have a bonfire but it poured all day it just stopped raining in time for the ground to be dry enough to sit outside but not really dry enough for wood to be dry for a fire. They had TONS of fireworks, they set them off for like 2 hours or more. i like it when they are more private like that you don't have to deal with the crowds, the only bad thing for me is the noise, by the end i was really hurting but it went away fairly quickly.

Today is more 4th stuff, we're having supper at Master's Mom's then i think we're about all 4th'd out lol. Today is the first sunny day we've had in ages!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

i've been thinking on and off about Kaya made "Master or Dad?" and it's made me think more along the lines of the rules that Master has set for me and why i really do well with rules. The more the better actually. i think i crave a rules in my life now because i didn't really have them when i was growing up and isn't that pretty much a common thread amoung us? A lot of us look to fullfill something in our adult life that which was missing in our childhood. How we go about it however is what is left up to us.

Those of us in this lifestyle seem to have gone about fullfilling that gap or need fairly agressively i would tend to reason. i think that a Mother giving her children a lot of rules to follow or being fairly strict with her children might compensate for what she herself missed in her own childhood. We see that kind of behavior every day, people living vicariously through their children every day. It's become the norm and nearly the expected, the soccer Mom screaming in the stands perhaps because she didn't have the chance to play herself or she misses the time when she was able to play. The one who is intensely into her childs music lessons because she wasn't given the chance to take the lessons that she desperately wanted. We all know the stories.

What i love about this lifestyle is that every situation is unique to us and who we are and what we need. Master knows how i tick and that i needed those rules in order to operate well. It took a long time for us to figure it out and we're still figuring things out. Sometimes i think that i'm here with Master because i needed to serve Him way more than He needed or wanted a slave. i'm sure that i could have existed in a vanilla relationship but i really don't think i could have thrived. Perhaps He would argue that point all i know is that i am where i should be.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

It's a pretty day outside today. Master got home from night fishing about 5am and neither one of us feel all that energetic. We usually grill out on Sunday night but i'm not sure if we're going to do that or not. my head has been throbbing all day so i'm not all that ambitious and Master is most likely pretty tired as He got up pretty early for as late as He got home.

All we've done for the last 20 minutes is ask each other what we want to do today and neither one has any ideas lol.

It's going to be one of those days hehehe.

Have a good Sunday! i hope everyone else is more productive than we are!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Master is out night fishing for a while and it just got done pouring down rain. Who knows how long He'll be gone, the weather reports are sketchy all over the place. No one says the same thing twice. i never know how long they'll stay out sometimes they stay out till 3am and sometimes it's 10pm and Master calls and says that they are taking the boat out already lol.

This last week was really busy with therapy and doctor appointments. All we did was run and between that we tried to clean the pool. It was super hot all week too but at least we both got a lot of good sun! Next week it's supposed to cool off quite a bit. i hope so at least so it's not quite so bad for the 4th.

Last night we had Master's Mom and Dad over for sort of a spontaneous cook out and bon fire. We had a really nice supper and a nice time at the fire. They stayed until after mid night. By the time they left Master and i were both really tired. We'd been on the go all day and just about collapsed. The heat just gets to a lot after a while and we never really came inside all day from working on the pool and working in the yard. Then as soon as we were done with the yard His parents got here. So we never got a break from the heat.

Tomorrow i don't think we have too much planned unless Master has plans that i've forgotten about, which is entirely likely.

i am going to log off here and find some sappy movie to watch, He is always more than happy to indulge me more often than not He even enjoys watching the "chick flicks" that so many men just hate. Tonight i think i'll find something that i know He isn't fond of at all that way He doesn't have to sit through the torture hehehe. All i know is that i do not want to run into a whole bunch of memorial or tribute videos while He isn't home. i couldn't handle watching anthing about Michael's life or tragic death alone. Not that i'm not totally bummed or saddened about Farrah or Ed Mc Mahon, i am, but i don't want to do the whole Michael thing alone.

We haven't watched anything about Michael on the news or TV, we're aware that the videos are available and He clicked on them briefly but didn't allow them to play in full. When we became aware that they were about to show footage of something that was far too personal and truly an invasion of one man's private life and death, we clicked off. It's just too disrespectful.

i don't care what people thought of him as a person or as a man, as an entertainer, the man gave his life to entertain the masses and he suffered for it. As an entertainer and a musician i believe he was and will always be a star.

Where To Find Us

To see all of my pictures, go to Master's Flickr and ask to be a friend. Tell Him who you are and that His treasure sent you! (Please have your age or something in your profile stating that you're an adult.)

Our Online Presence

To see all of my pictures, go to Master's Flickr and ask to be a friend. Tell Him who you are and that His treasure sent you! (Please have your age or something in your profile stating that you're an adult.)