Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Welcome to the newest feature here at Punny Money. It’s called “Search And Ye Shall Receive,” and it’s sort of like a Q&A or Letters section where readers send in their burning questions and I put them out with watery answers. But in “Search And Ye Shall Receive,” I’ll be taking “questions” that I find in my traffic referral logs. These logs indicate some of the searches that people perform on Google, Yahoo, Ask.com and other search engines that turned up Punny Money as a result. Those people followed the result link here, and hopefully they found the information they wanted.

Sometimes, however, I’m not entirely convinced that Punny Money gave them the answer for which they were looking. That’s why I’ll be delving into my search referral logs on occasion to find your “questions” and see if I can answer them a little better.

Today’s featured search referral is “wallet in front pocket” and was performed on Ask.com. That query likely led them to my wallet post where I mentioned I carry my wallet in my front pocket. Perhaps somebody was wondering why people might carry their wallets in their front pockets. If so, here are my reasons for being a front-pocket wallet carrier:

My butt thanks me. If you normally keep your wallet in a rear pocket, then you probably either sit on it, rest your back against it, or keep taking it out when you’re in a seat. A wallet in the front pocket means an end to all of these.

Harder to steal. Pickpockets call the back pocket the “sucker pocket” for a very good reason: it’s extremely simple to pilfer your posterior pocket. Keep your wallet in your front pocket and thieves will likely never go after it.

It looks better. Women have a hard time checking out my butt with a big, bulky object sticking out of it. Don’t worry, ladies–my rear is all clear for your leers.

Or maybe someone’s just trying to pickpocket me. If that’s the case, I also have a pirahna in that pocket, so don’t get any ideas.