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We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant.How important is it to write a good online dating first email?The answer to that may seem obvious, but just in case it isn’t let me say: writing a great first message in online dating is critical to success or failure in your dating life.

Her inbox is most likely littered with boring messages like yours unless you do something about it. Think beyond your comfort zone be intriguing, coax her into letting you in and reacting to your first email.It is also worth noting that most often discuss this from the point of view of a man contacting a woman, since that was my experience, but my hope is that the thoughts here are helpful to anyone.This discussion is primarily for sites such as where you write the online dating first message yourself (see more on how works if you’re not familiar with what I’m referring to).The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this… Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.It’s a joke and, as we all know, people like people who make them laugh. I can fix your computer, landscape your backyard and probably even hotwire your car, but, for some reason, Ti Vo programming seems to elude me as well. Playing it safe is fine, but if an attractive person has dozens, if not hundreds, of options, you need to shake things up a little bit to break through the clutter. Interesting piece, which I’ll have to parse at length when I have the time…but it leads me to throw out a theory I’ve been kicking around.