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WWYD? I am not happy with how my DS's teacher handle this situation *Update*

Today, everyone in my 7-year old DS's class was weighed for an experiment. My son was the heaviest boy in the class. Although he is bigger than the other children, he still falls within normal height and weight limits for a boy his age. At snack time, some of his classmates laughed at him and called him chubby. He complained to his teacher, whose only response was "I heard".

My son felt really bad about himself this evening. DH and I are going to have a talk with his teacher in the morning, because we feel that she did not handle this situaiton properly at all. There is a problem with bullying at the school, and I think that the teacher should have reprimanded the classmates who teased my DS.

If this happened to your child, what would you do?

*Update: I spoke to my son's teacher early this morning. Although she realizes that some of the children were laughing, she neglected to ask my son WHY the children were laughing. I explained that my son was upset because the other children in his class laughed at him because of his weight. I also explained that while I understand that weighing each child was a part of their class exercise, I did not think that it was appropriate to announce each child's weight in front of the class. If the information needed to be plotted on a graph, it was perfectly okay to omit the outliers for the purposes of a 2nd grade experiment. She apologized for not investigating the situation thoroughly, and spoke to the class about making innappropriate comments to each other. The students were told to remember if they have nothing nice to say, that they should say nothing at all. At school assembly held this morning, the prinicpal also addressed the subject of bullying. I am now pleased with the way that this was handled.

Thank you to all of you who answered. I know that this confession was not nearly as "juicy as some of the other posts on Mom confessions, so I appreciate your comments.

Sorry to hear that your son is going through this. I hope that everything works out well when you do approach the principal.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time that the teacher has handled an issue poorly. We've already been to the principal about her in the past. The principal gave us a satisfactory response the last time. The amazing thing about the entire situation is that DS's teacher has a son with a skin condition (he attends the same school). Students are warned about being "sensitive" to his plight, but apparently compassion should not be extended to other students as well.

Quoting countrygirlkat:

We are having a bit of a similar problem at my son's school right now. Although it isn't the same situation, it is kind of the same in that the kids will go and tell that a child hit, kicked or shoved their face in the sand and the teacher's response to them is go find somewhere else to play then. Never once does she reprimand the child who did the mean deed. We wrote an email to the teacher directly and cc'd the principal and her response was less then okay. We are now working to get a group of parents together to go to the principal because we feel a lot of parents with the same issues will have more impact then one. Do you know if she is so calous in her other responses to bad behavior in the classroom? If so maybe other parents are having similar issues.

by Anonymous 5
on May. 3, 2012 at 12:33 AM

I remember in the 6th grade, we were doing some kind of question and answer worksheet, and we had to read our answers out in class. I was already bullied by the kids in my class, and when my answer was read out loud, the teacher actually laughed at me. Which of course, the bullies loved, and I got picked on some more. I went home and cried for hours. My father was beyond pissed when I finally told him what happened. He called the school and the teacher about it, and the next day the teacher apologized to me in front of the class. So yeah I'd be upset and I think talking to the teacher is a good idea (calmly of course, you don't want to make them defensive). I think weighing the kids in class wasn't the best idea in the first place.

I would be addressing her ASAP and then if not satisfied take it to the principal. I would find this teacher solely responsible for my sons self esteem going downward and any bullying there after due to this (fat jabs) squarely on her shoulders.

Thank you. We haven't ever talked to our principal(this is my oldest son and he is only in kindergarten) so hopefully his response is good like it sounds like yours is. That is great that you have a supportive principal and I would say if you have met with them before and had a good response maybe going straight to them would work. I don't know much about this sort of thing yet though. It is all a bit overwhelming. I completely agree that you would expect somebody who has a child with a condition that may lead to bullying to be extra sensitive of it in other kids too.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry to hear that your son is going through this. I hope that everything works out well when you do approach the principal.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time that the teacher has handled an issue poorly. We've already been to the principal about her in the past. The principal gave us a satisfactory response the last time. The amazing thing about the entire situation is that DS's teacher has a son with a skin condition (he attends the same school). Students are warned about being "sensitive" to his plight, but apparently compassion should not be extended to other students as well.

Quoting countrygirlkat:

We are having a bit of a similar problem at my son's school right now. Although it isn't the same situation, it is kind of the same in that the kids will go and tell that a child hit, kicked or shoved their face in the sand and the teacher's response to them is go find somewhere else to play then. Never once does she reprimand the child who did the mean deed. We wrote an email to the teacher directly and cc'd the principal and her response was less then okay. We are now working to get a group of parents together to go to the principal because we feel a lot of parents with the same issues will have more impact then one. Do you know if she is so calous in her other responses to bad behavior in the classroom? If so maybe other parents are having similar issues.

Im sorry i didnt realize you have had problems w this teacher before. Similar problems or unrelated? Were they resolved? BTW i think you are a great mom for dealing w it now b4 your sons self esteem is damaged.

Quoting Anonymous:

We've had an issue with this teacher before, and had to involve the principal. I am not the only parent who is dissatisfied with how she handles certain issues. Fortunately, DS goes to a small private school and the administrators are very willing to work with parents, so we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Quoting Monamou:

I think speaking w the teacher is a great idea. But remember how hard her job is. No accusations or threats. Im sure shes a calm resonable lady who is willing to work w u.

I am sorry I disagree we all have been teasesa little. Everyone wants to call billy the second someone say something to their child. IMO we are raising our kids to be weak. They don't know how to stad ip up for them selfs they just come running to mommy and she fixes it. What you gonna do when he turns 30 and real life is mean to him?

Quoting Anonymous:

Being laughed at like this is not a part of growing up. Haven't you seen how bullying affects some children, even causing some of them to commit suicide?

My son was devastated by today's events. He attends a private school, and frankly, I pay far too much money to allow my son to go through being uncomfortable in school. This is going to be addressed ASAP.

Quoting Anonymous:

Leave it go it's part of growing up. This seems like it was related to the xperment give it about a week if it don't change then talk to then tracher

I think you should go to the principle. In no way shape or form would this fly with me. That "teacher" needs to get detention for that crap!

by Anonymous 6
on May. 3, 2012 at 9:46 AM

1 mom liked this

I would be in the class the next morning talking to them myself about hurting others feelings and how some kids don't have control over the way they look or how big they are. That way I KNOW the kids were talked to. And then I'd talk to the teacher and tell her if she doesn't handle a situation like that again (if one occurs again), then her and I and the principal will be having a meeting and it won't be pretty!

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