Micromanaging Mom

by mathinaz

Here’s another unsolicited hint to parents: If you don’t want your child to grow up to be a neurotic, stressed-out mess, do not be a neurotic, stressed-out mess about everything they do. Do not become a neurotic mess about the fact that your child is neurotic. Do not stress about whether your child is too stressed. Just chill out. Please.

Your child is 11 years old. It is okay if she misses a homework assignment here and there. It is okay if she gets a B+ on a report card. It is okay if she earns a bad test grade. She is learning and growing and making mistakes, and that’s exactly what she should be doing right now. So back off.

Do not call her teacher regularly to micromanage her progress making friends. Do not call her teacher every time she might have done something wrong on her homework assignment. Do not ask for detailed analysis of her lower-than-normal test scores. Do not go far, far, far out of your way to fix her minor mistakes. And definitely don’t do all of that, and then call her teacher to worry about how stressed your daughter gets about everything.

Let her make mistakes. Let her fail. Let her break a couple of rules. Let her realize which consequences she is willing to handle and which ones she isn’t. Let her fight, let her cry, let her tell some people off. Let her be really, deeply annoying and really, hilariously awkward. Let her spend time lonely and let her spend time with people that aren’t like her. She needs it, you need it, we all need it. So please, just let her figure it out.

Also, I absolutely promise you that colleges will not look at her sixth-grade transcripts. I swear no one will ever even ask for an unofficial copy.