Here’s St. Angie Jolie, Pax, a purple bear, Vivienne, Knox and a mutated bong full of hair grease strolling through Haneda International Airport in Tokyo today. They’re all there for the Japanese premiere of World War Z. Maddox, Shiloh and Zahara didn’t come along, because they have better things to do like defend the family iPad against thieves.

Three questions:

1. Is Brad Pitt’s crotch area droopy because his peen barfed out a huge load of grease or is that where he hides his stash?

2. Do you think St. Angie’s pants were originally used as grasshopper antenna covers, because I did not know it was possible to make pants that small for adult humans.

3. And more importantly, am I the only who’s getting the full-body puckers from looking at that giant tanned bodyguard with a pink JanSport? Everybody please move ALL the way to the left, because I need to see more of that pink backpack-carrying orange Hulk.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).