Jay-Z: “Chris Brown is a walking dead man”

Or a dead man walking. Whichever you prefer. Us Weekly learned through a source that Jay-Z, Rihanna’s mentor, was not too happy when he heard what Chris Brown did to Rihanna. “He hit the roof,” the source said. “Chris is a walking dead man. He messed with the wrong crew.” Ruh roh.

TMZ adds that luckily for Chris, he will probably not be charged for making criminal threats which is more serious than the domestic battery he’ll be hit with. They also go into more detail about what happened that night.

Here’s how it went down, according to the police report. After Chris received a text message from a woman who wrote about getting together, an argument erupted. By the way, initially, Rihanna would not tell cops what started the argument.

She did, however, tell them that during the argument, he started hitting her. According to the police report, she ordered him to drive her home and “faked a call” to someone, saying things like, “He’s dropping me off. Make sure the cops are there.”

Rihanna told cops the fake call enraged Brown. He said something to the effect of “You are really fu**ed up now. I’m going to kill you.” This statement is the basis of the criminal threats charge.

At that point, according to the report, Brown allegedly began a violent attack with his fists. At some point, Rihanna took the keys out of the ignition and threw them outside.

Rihanna ended up with eyes so swollen that she couldn’t see out of them, contusions on her face, cut lip, bloody nose and bite marks on her fingers and arms.

And if you thought Chris couldn’t possibly make things any worse, think again. He’s spoken for the first time since that night. Not through his reps, but through Facebook. He updated his page with, “You’ll begin to see her true colors. Believe it!”

Oh and you ladies will be glad to know that Chris has changed his relationship status to “single.” You know, just in case there was any ambiguity at all.