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18 May 2005

When did my heart get involved?

(Transferred from my old blog on 18 August 2008.)

Yesterday T* was at work, and so when he came up to the third floor (I couldn't even see his face, he was talking to someone else in a row of books), I got really excited just to see him. Then Kristen looked at me and told me that I had the funniest look on my face. She kept trying to figure it out, going on and on about how I looked pleased or something. I tried to get rid of it, but I couldn't! Every time I looked at her I thought about it again, and then I would smile as big as . . . I don't know! I kept making up excuses like I thought something someone had said was funny or that I kept thinking of that time when or that I was just happy to be there. Even now as I type this I think I'm getting that look on my face again.

Then at the meeting, T* was conducting, and I was sitting right in the front middle. He didn't look at me once. I love seeing him dressed up and in charge. Then I thought he was going home and I was disappointed, but I saw him and he was staying until 5:15. That's about all that I got to talk to him about before we were walking different ways. So that meant he would come to my counter to sign out. But he never did! I checked the sign-out sheet, and he had already signed out. He never even called me! I was so mad last night. Mad at him for not calling, mad at myself for caring, and mad for a billion other weird reasons. When did my heart get involved in this? I seriously thought I was being careful enough. I guess not. Now I'm afraid. I'm afraid that it's going to hurt a lot. Bah.

Well, I asked my mom if she would do me a favor last week. She asked what it was. I said, "Would you please get me some of those long shorts that are in style right now? They have them at Mervyns." She said, "That's not a favor, and I don't buy your clothes. You're in college." Dang. Well, yesterday, we went to the DI because I wanted to buy a tennis racket for Heidi's birthday, and we started looking at clothes, and she bought me a whole bunch! Today I'm wearing a purely Melissa outfit. I have this black and white weird-patterned dress on over my jeans and shoes with flowers on them. That was so nice of my mom. She keeps saying that when we get some time we're going to go get some of those long undershirts they have at that new store (I forgot what it's called). Good.