Saturday, 5 November 2016

It’s so close, we here in Britain can feel
the heat from 3000miles away across a choppy Atlantic. Friction, that’s what it
is. Anything that close and so abrasive causes a lot of heat.

There is the misogynist, abuser of women,
bankrupt, litigiously incontinent, egomaniac,
and total nincompoop, ( that’s an English word for idiot.) Donald the Trump. I can’t bear to look at his face on the TV and I can’t
bear to listen to the sound of his voice.

Then there is Hillary, duplicitous, sneaky,
a rather untrustworthy type who wants a national health service and wants to
ban the carrying and ownership of guns. A pinky left wing socialist
sort.

So what if……………?

Trump WINS!! IT'S President Trump.

We have a President Trump. His own
party, the Republicans can’t believe it. Nobody wants to be a part of his
administration. He has decided to have a new series of the Apprentice whereby
candidates for high political office in his administration compete for government
roles. He is recruiting candidates from amongst the great American beer
drinkers, golfing types and bar loafers who voted for him. Wolf whistling at
women will be of high priority

As
America doesn’t own any shipping companies to deport immigrants an upsurge in the inflatable airbed industry
is underway. Airbed stock market rates have gone through the roof. Thousands
and thousands of inflatable Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse air beds are to be
seen off the East Coast and West Coast of the USA as desperate illegal
immigrants paddle for the safety of the high seas. American citizens have been
given the right to shoot on sight anybody they think are undesirable sorts.
There are summary executions in the streets right across America. A few mother
inlaws and ex wives have been mistakenly shot. This has of course preempted
Trump’s passing a bill through Congress banning all mother inlaws and ex
wives anyway.

Illegal Mexican immigrants in the USA having
been sent back across the boarder are now
working for building companies right across Mexico. They are part of a
desperate race to build a high concrete wall to keep out the undesirable Americans fleeing across their
borders from the USA in disgust at the
Presidential result. Building companies, cement factories, brickyards,
construction machinery companies, and yellow hard hat companies are flourishing. The
Mexican economy has had a gigantic boost.

President Putin has been invited to the ,"Golden Gilt House ," formerly ,"The White
House," A quick renovation to suit President Trump’s tastes was carried out soon after his election. President
Trump has announced a ,”special relationship,” once attributed to Britain, with
Russia. After all it was Russia who financed his Presidential campaign, got him
out of two bankruptcies and provided him with a
docile, servile, wife who will do anything for her man.

The BBC was seen as insulting Donald in the
run up to the election. Rumours that the British people were making fun of him
also riled the bloated red faced one, so all political ties with Britain have
been severed and the USA is now at war with its old ally. Trump is reserving a large
section of the American nuclear arsenal for the bombing and total eradication of
Britain. “Who wants those National
Health Service, free education, lefty
bastards anyway? They don’t even carry guns.”, he has been reported as saying.

Also Europe is a little concerned that
Trump wants to drop nuclear bombs on all major European cities.

Donald is suing all Hollywood and music
industry stars for not liking him.

A new bright era of world dominance , let’s
forget the Chinese, for the wonderful U. S. of A is dawning under this Donald
Trump regime.

As for Hillary Clinton, the Clintons have
been seen escaping to Britain,. They now live in a Liverpool, council house in
the suburbs of Liverpool near Paul
McCartneys childhood home. Hillary always expressed admiration for the Fab Four
in her student days. The Clintons have been made penniless after the hard
fought election and are seeking housing benefits and work seekers allowances
from Liverpool City Council.

ALTERNATIVELY:

Hillary is President. President Clinton the
second.

The first woman President of the United States,
Hillary Clinton. The world sighed a long sigh of relief after election night.
She is the normal conniving, back stabbing politician we all know and love. The
status quo will be kept. Americans might not get the jobs and rejuvenated industries
they want but they might, unless Hillary does a U turn, get a National Health
service and guns might just be banned. Which I am sure will be a good thing. Lets hope Americans get accustomed to what European countries have known for a generation. It
will be best for Hillary to act quickly on these things of course while the Gun
Lobby, the Ku Klux Klan, and the Drugs Industry have been incapacitated by the
shock of Donald’s defeat. Best to get in there before they recover their
composure.

The close relationship with Britain has
been made closer. Hillary loved the sarcasm, and the denigrating commentary of Donald
Trump by the BBC.

Relationships with Russia have soured even
further and Putin is rather upset because the Russian economy is shrinking and he
can’t finance his military ambitions of invading and nuking Europe. Donald had
promised him support.

Mexico is feeling ambivalent. There is not
going to be a wall between them and the USA but they had already decided they
hate the USA and were looking forward to keeping Americans out of their
wonderful country. They no longer have an excuse.

Donald Trump meanwhile has been spotted rowing
a converted golf buggy towing suit cases full of his and Melania’s belongings,
out to sea heading for Colombia. He is wondering if he can do
a deal with the drugs barons there. He is bankrupt again after this
Presidential campaign and he would like them to bail him out and set him up in ,"business," again. It has been discovered that Donald had mortgaged Trump Tower
for every last brick to pay for the election campaign.