“Whether you were forced
to resign your title as Miss America because of nude pictures or not,” said the
now CEO of the Miss America pageant, during last night’s show. “It just doesn’t
matter. Not really. Not now.”

“Thank you,” replied a
teary eyed, Vanessa Williams.

The former Miss America
queen lost her crown when nude photographs taken with another woman surfaced in
Penthouse magazine way back in 1984.

“Although they were nude
pictures published in Penthouse magazine,” continued the CEO. “Still it just doesn’t
matter. Really, it doesn’t.”

“Thank you so very much,”
said Williams, while wiping away a tear.

“I mean so what if they
were nude pictures published in Penthouse magazine with another woman,”
continued the CEO. “Or nude pictures published in Penthouse magazine with another
woman done in provocative suggestive lesbian poses. It doesn’t matter. Not then
and certainly not now.”

“I know and I thank --”
Williams was cut off before she could finish her sentence.

“Whatever, right?”
continued the CEO. “I mean what are a few naked photos published in Penthouse
magazine – then an internationally published magazine, mind you -- with another
woman done in a provocative suggestive lesbian fashion who also happened to be white...Though I’m sure race had nothing to do with
it, right?”

“No, no,” said a stunned Williams.
“Certainly not.”

The CEO paused a moment, as
if lost in thought.

“Just in case,” said the
CEO. “On behalf of the Miss America pageant, I would like to apologize for that
too.”

“For what now?” replied
Williams.

“I mean,” continued the
CEO. “Whether they were nude pictures published in Penthouse magazine with a
woman in suggestive lesbian poses who also happened to be white, during Ronald
Reagan’s conservative 'shining city on the hill' era or whatever. It just doesn’t
matter. It really, really doesn’t matter.”

Williams looked on in dumbfound silence.

“I mean they’re not even
pornographic, if you think about it really,” said the CEO.

“Oh no,” said Williams. “I
don’t like were this is going.”

“I mean we all know now
that it’s only pornography if it’s done in color, right?” said the CEO.

“I guess,” said Williams.

”I mean it’s not pornography
if it’s done in black and white, right?” said the CEO. “I mean if we only knew
that back then.”

Williams hung her head
down.

The CEO then fell silent.

Williams lifted up her
head, shocked that the CEO finally stopped talking.

“Are you done?” Williams
meekly asked the CEO.

With a forced smile on his
face, the CEO simply nodded yes.

“Really?” asked Williams in
somewhat disbelief.

However, no sooner had
Williams asked her question of the CEO did he began to speak again.

“I mean that one black and
white photo with your face pushed up against that other woman’s bush is in no
way offensive by today’s standards,” said the CEO. “Am I right audience?”

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