What a jerk! I know, I just know that he cut me off in the pace line, on purpose none the less! Here I am, falling off the back of the pack … The race is over 20km in! Or is it?!?

Like you, I am an expert in regards to mind-reading. I used to walk through life ass-uming that if another person’s behavior caused me distress in any way, they must have intended to make me feel this way. Those filthy bastards!

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I was addicted to attributing my negative motives and thoughts to someone else and their behavior. Why not – their actions did sting a little bit and they kinda pissed me off. My subjective (and biased) interpretation of other folks, rather than their behavior, finally made me lose my, cool.

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Then something truly coolstarted to happen. It started with a deep breath, and then gently changing my inner dialog, slowly, patiently – I subdued the thoughts of starting a confrontation, replacing them with – “I won’t assume anything; These thoughts will pass” … “No mind-reading today, not now.”

Daily Meditation:

Tuning into myself, rather than magnifying the stress when I was beginning to get upset, needing to address the other person, eyebrows furled, sweaty fists clenched … “It’s Saturday afternoon dude, the NHL and NBA playoffs are on, the sun is up! We’ll get ‘em next time around!”

Like this:

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13 Comments on “Comfort : Zone :”

Working as a barista for 12 years I have tried very hard to cease mind-reading and stop assuming that people are out to piss me off and make my day miserable…doesn’t mean I always succeed, nor that some people aren’t simply jerks. Once you stop assuming that people always intend to be bad and mean and hurtful then your frame of reference will shift. It won’t be sunshine and flowers, but it can make dealing with the trials and problems a whole lot better.

It can be difficult at times, smiling, taking a deep breath, stray thoughts lingering in my mind … Then I’ll forget, taking notice of something cool and interesting to focus on instead. :) Stress free weekends are the best – Take care and be well this weekend!

I’m more of a fair weather NBA fan (die-hard NHL fan). Cheering for interesting story lines etc. Although, seeing that you can’t pick up something and throw it at me right now?!? Like a tire iron or a heavy book … Vamos a ir Miami Heat!
Have a beautiful weekend my friend and good luck tomorrow!!!

Not sure what the quote has to do with the rest of the post….as I like the quote and use my imagination a lot in a positive way…living many lives!

As for the post, I can relate. I’m very sensitive and did grow up with a large amount of intimidation and rejection, overt stuff, so it took much un-learning to not assume the same in interactions around me. Of course at other times, due to my naivety and innately optimistic trusting nature, there are times when I am being treated poorly or being manipulated and I don’t catch it at all :)