Concerned mom wants to pay for son’s deflowering

Worried that her son’s sex life (or lack thereof) is the only thing standing in the way of him being a popular guy in college, one Philly mom with no regard for personal boundaries offered on Craigslist to pay a girl to take his virginity before he ships off to Harvard.

Because losing your virginity magically transforms you from awkward band geek to John Mayer-esque libertine. Just like that.

“I want to find a cute young girl to date him and turn him from high school nerd to cool college kid,” writes the concerned parent, apparently unaware of the website’s rules against soliciting prostitution and evidently without pausing to question whether her son’s even into the opposite sex. “He’s very handsome and extremely fit, he’s on the varsity cross country team so I’d say there’s almost zero body fat on him.”

Zero body fat? Awesome. That makes up for the ostensible family dysfunction and total lack of confidence.

Concerned Mom promises to buy four concert tickets (two for pretend girlfriend and a pal, two for shy boy and a buddy) to manufacture a “chance meeting” for the would-be summer flingers. The girl (preferably 19, since over 20 is too scary for shy boy) will then seduce him and do the deed, the first of many teachable moments in various “sex positions” over the course of the summer.

Just don’t fall in love, let him go gently and (somehow skipping the heartbreak of a first breakup) leave him with enough swagger to pick up on other girls, cautions the posting, which was flagged for removal.

If this mom’s for real, then she’s batty for obvious reasons. It’s possible, though, that this could also be some creeper on the Internet trying to lure a couple young girls to a concert to arrange a serendipitous encounter of his own.

A mother with a total disregard for personal boundaries takes to Craigslist. (Image via Shuttershock)