You know that old saying, “Nothing says ‘take me now, Valentine.’ like flowers fashioned out of pork products.”? Well, it’s true. And I def. won the wife of the year award today. Today I made bacon roses, my friends. And you can too!

Here’s how you do it!

All you gotta do is poke some holes in the bottom of a foil pan or muffin tin, then place it in a baking dish. Next, roll up some bacon like this, using the fatty side as the top of the pork-bud. Secure with toothpicks, and pop em in a 350 degree oven for about an hour. While you are waiting, make eggs benedict. My husband’s fave food is eggs benedict, so I’ve tried to perfect it over the years… use some thinly sliced and fried honey ham and it will be so delish. Make sure to use America’s Test Kitchen’s hollandaise recipe. (I’ll post it later.) It is the tastiest and it’s sooper easy too :) After the delicate fleurs are done baking, transfer them to a paper towel-lined plate, remove the toothpicks, and let em cool a bit. Then dissect a fake bunch of roses. You can reserve the petals for a sooooper classy romantic evening. Ew. Fill a vase with some rocks or glass pebbles and stand the naked rose bush up in it. Place the salty blooms on the stems, and serve! (How many times have you read THAT last sentence before?) Happy Valentine’s Day!!!! Hollandaise Sauce (America’s Test Kitchen): 3 large egg yolks 1 TBsp fresh lemon juice 16 TBsp (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and still warm Hot water 1/8 tsp. cayenne Blend egg yolks and lemon juice in blender till frothy – 10 seconds +/-. With blender running, slowly drizzle in HALF of the butter until mixture is quite thick. Blend 2 tsp. of hot water. Continuing to blend, add remaining butter, about a minute. Blend additional water until sauce coats the back of a spoon. Stir in cayenne, salt and pepper.