wonderful, terrible, and just plain strange

The wonderful: Finding a fabulous Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg in the depths of my freezer . . . (it’s getting pretty empty in there. except for a LOT of butter. does anybody have a recipe that calls for four pounds of butter and not much else?) what a phenomenal treat, since I’m sure that the Halloween pumpkins won’t be in the store until AT LEAST September . . .

The horrible, terrible, awful, embarrassing, humiliating: I came home and noticed that my lawn was much shorter, which means that someone else mowed it, since I certainly didn’t (unless I was sleep-mowing?!) Now, you may think, “wow, she’s got some really nice neighbors!” but in reality, I can’t help but interpret it as a judgment. I am the “ghetto neighbor” . . . I have the worst lawn on my entire block . . . I am trying to find a blog entry where I wrote about this, but apparently I’ve never written about it before–this is the closest I’ve gotten . . . but it’s horrible, and so humiliating, and I am going to have to hide in my house for the whole weekend now . . . I should figure out who did it and offer money to the person, but I NEVER HAVE ANY CASH. And right now, I REALLY don’t have any money–not even “non-cash”.

A friend at work had actually offered to come by and help me with yard work tonight (I know I shouldn’t have said “no” to her, but I was just toooooooo tired, as I usually am on Fridays . . . ), so when I saw that the lawn had been mowed, I was hopeful that she had done it–but I called and it wasn’t her. so back to skulking around my neighborhood . . .

And finally,

the just plain STRANGE: Inspired by my nearly empty freezer, I decided to cook up my year-old Boca Burgers, so as to get rid of those as well. I don’t even LIKE Boca Burgers, but that’s not the strange part. I was reading the instructions, and noticed that the package advised me to “cook to an internal temperature of 160 degrees” and the usual beef-esque warnings about raw/undercooked meat.

(a canadian colleague of mine was startled to see such a pronouncement on a menu, until she said, “oh, I forgot. This is the US–you sue everybody!”)

So I thought, “oh, there must be eggs in this”, but upon perusal of the ingredients, not so . . .

I don’t get it. Don’t people eat “raw” tofu? Yes, they really do. And see, I should’ve not even cooked the burgers, because uncooked tofu lowers cholesterol.

Who knows . . .

(I should probably add that I don’t even LIKE the taste of Boca Burgers. Oh wait, I said that already. I tried to cook them in spaghetti sauce, add some garlic powder, smash them up, and mix them into my spaghetti . . . but I still just do NOT like the taste . . . and now my spaghetti doesn’t even taste good.

God only knows what I’m going to do when I enter into the change of life and will need to MAKE myself eat soy . . . oh well. There’s always edamame!)