Saturday, January 16, 2016

Are You Kidding Me?

Yes!

A new nurse listened while the doctor was yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"
The new nurse asked another nurse, "Why is he doing that?"
The other nurse replied, "Oh, he just likes to call the shots around here.”

Patient: Doctor I have a sore throat, I ache, and have a fever.
Doctor: Sounds like some kind of virus.
Patient: Everyone in the office has it.
Doctor: Well then, maybe it’s a staff infection.

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar?
They each got six months.

A man is telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me $4000, but it’s state of the art. It's perfect." "Really?" answers the neighbor. "What kind is it?" “12:30."
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At a traffic court, the judge asked the motorist: Tell me, why did you park your car here?
The man said: “Well, there was a sign that said “fine for parking.”

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And finally, here's an old one, that I still like...

If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware? I dunno, Alaska.