1. To be a person who has a prediliction for cheese, eats snails, Likes the bottoms of large, leather clad, German gentlemen (Yes I know it all happened sixty odd years ago, but it's still fun to take the piss out of them!). And responds to danger with a gravity defying upswing of the arms that is so rapid, that small avian flu laden creatures have been propelled across the English (that's ENGLISH, not 'le sodding Mange') Channel by their actions.
2. To be a fully integrated member of the European Economic Community, or whatever the Frogs and Krauts are calling it these days.
3. To be bufoniform,from Bedford and work for a French Bank.

Man in Park: "Is that a cheese eating surrender monkey over there doing aerobics?"
Second Man: "No, I think that's just a Bedford collaborater copying them!"