Sunday, April 14, 2013

'If you enjoy singing Amazing Grace, you might be a terrorist'

As Americans head out to church this Sunday morning, here's something to think about. After the Department of Defense and Department of Homeland Security's bungled report suggesting that Catholicism and evangelical Christians might be terrorists, Doug Giles at Townhall.com came up with a handy you-might-be-a-redneck kind of list for Christians. Try the following using your best Jeff Foxworthy voice:

· If you enjoy singing How Great Thou Art and Amazing Grace – you might be a terrorist.
· If you say “bless their heart” after you hear that someone did something really, really stupid – you might be a terrorist.
· If you believe Jeremiah was a prophet and not a bullfrog – you might be a terrorist.
· If you feel obligated to say you’ll pray for someone after you’ve gossiped about them – you might be a terrorist.
· If you watched The Bible on the History Channel and thought it was badass – you might be a terrorist.
· If you believe it’s wrong and ungodly to hijack airplanes and jam
them into skyscrapers full of innocent people – then you might be a
terrorist.
· If you think Billy Graham has been a great gift to our nation – you might be a terrorist.
· If you celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter – you might be a terrorist.
· If you made the day you got saved your birthday on your Facebook
page verses the day you actually popped out of your mama’s bottom – you
might be a terrorist.
· If you give money towards the preaching of the gospel and to works of charity – you might be a terrorist.
· If you love your neighbor as yourself – you might be a terrorist.
· If you recognize, appreciate and wish to pass on to the next generation America’s godly heritage – you might be a terrorist.
· If you like the Declaration of Independence, our Constitution and the Bill of Rights – you might be terrorist.
· If you have Jesus Take the Wheel on your iPod – you might be a terrorist.