I blog, because I can write and you can read… or maybe not.

“Ponderling”

“Could you be any less supportive”, she yelled to me as I looked at her with a surprised look on my face. (First thought… Of course I could be, but that would make it so bloody obvious and we don’t want to be obvious, do we now?) Let’s face it… I had not heard a word she had said to me nor had I any interest what she was busy telling me. I tried my best to feign an interest, because I thought talking to me meant something to her and I wanted to be supportive and be a good friend… but there is only much a guy can take until boredom in its purest form sets in and gets the better of you. Thereafter… only white noise…
It is kinda embarrassing though when you are caught out or when you are expected to say something or comment in return and you have nothing to add. Nada! You can try and throw in the occasional yes, no and uh-huh during the conversation… and they may work 9 times out of 10, but sooner or later you will be required to say something more meaningful and that is when you fall flat on your face.
I remember once saying to a friend, “Oh that is nice”. In the meantime he was in the middle of telling me about an emotional incident that had happened between him and his gf. Damn… I guess I came across as an insensitive asshole but, “for God’s sake laddie, if you expect me to pay attention, lets make it tad more interesting, shall we?”
Does this make me a selfish SOB?
If I can add up the time wasted on pretending to care about something or to be with it for the sake of being supportive, I am sure I will live an extra 5 years… at least.
Hehe…. I am not good at faking it… but then again… not everything can be of equal importance to all of us. Sometimes you aren’t the person somebody has to talk to and doing the polite thing only means doing something at the expense of yourself. So drifting off kind of evens things out a little bit, don’t you think?
That said I have to learn to care about the important things, even when they aren’t necessarily mine.