How to Minimize Back Talk

3 Simple Ways to Minimize Back Talk

As parents we dream of the days when our children will take their first steps, say their first words and become more independent. While we love to celebrate milestones with each new season of growth for your child, there are new challenges. What do you do when your child has developed a sassy or confrontational attitude towards you? All of a sudden you may find yourself longing for the days when all they did was babble and coo! As difficult as it may be to keep your temper, there are some easy steps you can take to minimize the number of conversations when you pull out the dreaded, “Because I said so!”

When your child begins to express more independence, it’s a great idea to encourage her in her pursuits. Things such as tying her own shoes or getting her own cup out of the cabinet are little ways you can give her space to be her own person. The difficulty lies when your child insists on doing tasks by themselves that you know will either take them close to two years to complete (and you’re already five minutes late!), or they are attempting to do something they know they are not allowed to do. Here are some tips to avoid unnecessary power struggles that lead to raised voices, hurt feelings and frustration.

1. Give your child opportunities throughout the day to make her own decisions.

When a child knows she has an element of control in her day, it empowers her and helps her feel comfortable and secure when expressing her opinion. As toddlers and preschoolers, children are exercising their opinions and will. Having the ability to do that at home builds up their self-confidence and gives you a chance to cheer them on!

2. Set clear rules and follow through when they are broken.

If your darling angel turns into a manipulative monster when it comes to helping her put on her jacket, now is the time to practice discipline based on house rules. Make sure your child has a clear understanding of what happens when she back talks and what action you will take with discipline. Discipline always leaves room for a teachable moment. Even if your explanation needs to be short because of a time crunch, saying something such as, “You know this is how we handle bad attitudes in this house. This is not unfair; it is necessary for you to learn why you cannot talk to mommy that way” will give your angry child a clear explanation of boundaries. When children disobey, they are looking to see where the boundaries are and how much they can push them. No child likes being disciplined but it does help to create a more secure environment where she knows what to expect based on how rules are enforced in the home.

3. Give your child your undivided attention.

Children are often desperate for the attention of their mom and dad and will act out when they are not sure if they are loved or seen by their parents. As a working parent, it can be very difficult to unplug from your phone or laptop when you come home. Try and make a conscious effort to spend uninterrupted time with your child that they will learn to anticipate. Even if it’s only 30 minutes before bedtime or while you eat dinner as a family, put your phone aside and instead connect with the world of imagination and broken crayons. Take time to intentionally enjoy your child’s company. This probably won’t happen every single night so don’t beat yourself up. The point is to take time to let your child know, “I see you, I hear you, and you matter to me.” A lot of times children are carrying around a lot of feelings that need to be expressed and a parent’s listening ear is the perfect opportunity to let it out!

It’s impossible to magically appease your unsettled child and it’s impossible to be the perfect parent. So, when you lose your temper or respond with a short, “Because I said so!”, don’t let it bury you in guilt. Every day of parenting provides new opportunities to love, lead and nurture your child into adulthood. At Kids ‘R’ Kids Learning Academies, we give space for your child to grow into her independent and unique self while also practicing healthy conflict resolution and discipline strategies. Our programs, from infant and toddlers, to preschool and before/after school care, provide engaging curriculum that gives every child the tools they need to achieve important milestones! To learn more about how Kids ‘R’ Kids can set up your child for a lifetime of success, contact a location nearest you!

Headquartered in the North Atlanta suburb of Duluth, GA, Kids ‘R’ Kids Learning Academies provide secure, nurturing, and educational environment for children ages 6 weeks – 12 years. We help children to bloom into responsible, considerate, and contributing members of society. With over 160 locations in 15 states, Kids ‘R’ Kids International is a family owned and operated organization that ranks in the top 10 nationwide for franchised early childhood education centers. Find a location near you.