Dismantling the Manhood Myth: Why It’s Damaging to Define Men in Terms of Size

When Donald Trump responded to Marco Rubio’s comment about his small hands being no indication of a problem elsewhere on his body, he invoked one of the most vulgar tropes about masculinity: That the size of the male genitals reflects an individual’s power. Like a pair of juvenile frat boys, Rubio and Trump quickly turned a debate for the most powerful job in the country, perhaps the world, into an equipment-measuring contest.

More recently, sculptor Joshua Monroe used the pseudonyms “INDECLINE” and “Ginger” to place five copies of a statue of a naked Donald Trump. The title of the piece was a clear reference to the children’s story “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” in which a vain ruler is duped into walking around naked by two weavers who convince him that his new outfit can only be seen by people who are worthy to do so. Monroe named his statues “The Emperor has No Balls”; while the statue appears to be fairly realistic, if not generous, Trump’s genitals are embarrassingly small.

Whether or not Trump “deserves” this treatment is one discussion; whether or not this qualifies as art, as satire, or as a deep commentary on society in and of itself is another discussion. Those topics aside, though: What do these two incidents tell us about how our manhood continues to be tied to our “manhood”?

When they removed the statue in Union Square, New York City Parks issued a statement: “NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.” Not one, not two, but three juvenile puns about the intended thesis of the statue. Rich Smith for The Stranger writes, “People … are going nuts over the nutless statue. … I got excited.” People rushed to pose with the statue and to point and laugh.

Meanwhile, critics questioned whether we would be so tolerant of an analogous statue of Hillary Clinton. Communally, we openly laugh at the concept of Donald Trump with diminished virility. The statue as a whole was taken as body-shaming, but most of his body is accurate and presented frankly. According to the Daily Beast, the artist was quick to claim that he had “no intent to fat-shame” Trump because he’s “not a skinny guy myself [sic].”

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It would not be easy to make an analogous statue of Ms. Clinton because, in our culture, men’s bodies and women’s bodies are granted power in different ways. Female bodies are judged mainly by their ability to attract : Fat-shaming is rooted in the way that heavy bodies are not deemed attractive by current standards. While fat-shaming happens to men, it’s not nearly as widespread as it is with female victims.

Instead, male bodies are judged mainly by their ability to perform. Viagra ads play on this anxiety, as do various other ads for size enhancement products. Even articles that try to dispel the myth contain humorous comments or photos that are at best gentle taunts.

Meanwhile, cultural references to “thinking with the little head” exonerate the most reckless and juvenile behavior. For instance, in her book “Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World,” Lisa Bloom writes about President Bill Clinton, “I’ve noticed that for Democratic male politicians, the whoppers usually stem from thinking with the little head, no matter how smart the big head might be” (p.31). Further, suggestions are routinely made that guns are a proxy for that part of the male body: Men who need big guns or big trucks or big anything are overcompensating for a particularly small body part.

It is culturally damaging to the male psyche to tie so much power and significance into the magnitude and functioning of one body part. Many men have had the experience of being mocked or feeling insecure over the size of that body part, sometimes to the point of having suicidal thoughts. It’s the other side of rape culture: If a man’s worth is based on his sexual abilities, then a man can prove his worth through performance. If he can’t find a willing participant, he might well feel compelled to force the issue.

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Women routinely complain about receiving unwanted “dick pics” over social media, presumably from men who think that that’s what women are looking for: “Here it is, what I have to offer, all I have to offer, all I think you care about.” The irony, of course, is that most women don’t want these at all; they do want to get to know men for their personalities. Men have mostly built up this myth that size equates to power and value by themselves.

It is clear to me that most men aren’t happy with the myth. We approach incidents like the Trump statues with the awkward giggling of a pre-teen. I can imagine the men who drafted the NYC Parks statement chuckling like schoolboys and trying to outdo themselves on the puerile puns. We’re not comfortable with the myth of localizing power to that one item, but we feel powerless to change it.

If we’re powerless, though, who can change it?

We’re precisely the ones who can change it, and the ones who need to change it. There is no “little head”; we think with the same brain as women. There is no mystical power: It’s a body part. It serves some natural functions. That’s it. Trump’s power or worth is not tied to his size; nor is any man’s.

Monroe cannot be directly blamed for using the myth to make a point: Painters and sculptors are limited by their medium, and routinely exploit cultural beliefs in service of their personal message. Like Trump and his xenophobia, Monroe is a product of his culture. Don’t blame the messenger, blame the society for creating a myth that would allow for such a visceral and unambiguous message.

Dismantling and rewriting the myth is not a trivial matter. It’s embedded in our language: “virile” comes from the Latin word for “man” (“vir”) and even the word “manhood” has become slang for the single body part. But if men are to evolve beyond the current juvenilia, it is necessary to attack the myth.

Let’s work together to make sure that messages like these are no longer meaningful.

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About Paul Hartzer

Paul Hartzer is a high school mathematics teacher and is former Lead Editor (Education) at The Good Men Project. His work with urban students of color pushes him to address his own privilege and biases. Paul loves language and strives to treat it with respect. He lives with his wife and his son and maintains a site of his interests, Curious Cheetah. You can also find him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus.

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The myth GMP does not deal with is the myths of men. Gay men are GOOD MEN. In many ways…many that het good men are not. Gay men are physically strong, smart, wise, sexy (which is why (?) most of the men I ‘had’ in gay sex baths were straight. Gay men play sports VERY well…they just have had to hide because of the rampant homophobia in the arena. Gay men are great parents and couples. Much research shows that children thrive in same sex families. Gay men are more sensitive, more emotionally available…which is why many woman choose gay… Read more »

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3 years ago

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Tom Redd

Wonder what low class democratic would do this statue…and if one was done of Hillary the world would go bezerk…keep up the Trump abuse…it will cost the liberals

Was the exclamation point on the “all girl” ghost-busters movie, no? The finale assault on all things male was the bad guy getting it the crotch?

…and we wonder then ask why guys today are so insensitive to “other” (meaning women). Reap what you sow.

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3 years ago

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Chimpala

So the reason males are insensitive to women is because of dick jokes. Which men almost certainly originated, and definitely perpetuate. It’s women’s fault. Got it.

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3 years ago

Gold Member

Per Anon

Hi Chimpala,
Actually, DJ is mentioning one of the double standards that exist in the extremely active narrative around misogyny perpetrated by neo-masculinity.

To re-iterate what DJ has mentioned, we wonder why we have such a problem with our men being insensitive to the world, namely our women, when we openly celebrate the constant re-inforcing of toxic masculinity (by purporting that a man is judged by the size of a certain body part) on the one hand, and with the same hand celebrate the constant attack of said body part namely via pop-culture.

“Reap what you sow”, was not an attack on women. I don’t blame women for any of this. it was a slap in the head for society as a whole..

The rabbit hole goes way deeper than what we’ve both touched on, but yes, in brief, exactly right.

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3 years ago

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Chimpala

Trump invited exactly such a work by boasting about his size and prowess. His insecure, literal psyche has been answered very appropriately with this satiric statue.

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3 years ago

Gold Member

Per Anon

Hi Chimpala, What is being raised here is not whether or not Trump deserves to be ridiculed, that much is clear – we can all spend hours writing about what he deserves/doesn’t deserve. The very troubling underlying issue here is that we have firstly associated a certain male body part with an attack by implying having a small ‘manhood’ is bad. And secondly by doing so re-iterating to men that the size of said body part is directly attributable to your identity as a man. We are very effectively reinforcing toxic masculinity standards with this ‘appropriate’ answer, as you have… Read more »

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3 years ago

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Paul Hartzer

Precisely what Per Anon says. There are numerous other topics that these statues raise, two of which I explicitly list in the article (whether Trump deserves it, and whether it’s “art”).

I am opposed to the Death Penalty across the board not because I don’t think there are people who deserve it, but because our actions, including our reactions, are our responsibility. Someone can “deserve” negative treatment, but it still speaks poorly of me if I deliver it.

Exactly. That’s why the responses I saw from people who supported that statue were quite stunning. People that I know wouldn’t dare stand for treating a woman this way no matter what she said or did turning 180 and trying their hardest to justify this. People are basically saying, “NO ONE deserves to have their body insulted and attacked.” in one breath and then in the next saying “Well you see Trump totally did X and Y to deserve being insulted with that statue.”. Defenders are trying really hard to latch onto what Trump has said to justify it banking… Read more »