We're minding our own business, reading an article on reverse mortgages for a fear-induced high, when we see this ad for Jeffrey D Horn, MD, vision specialist.

And now we feel this insane compulsion to don a white coat, walk down the street and bark "Cataracts slowing you down? GET YOUR ZOOM BACK!" at innocent spectacled passersby. If we didn't have titanic strength of will we most undoubtedly would, unbridled and uncut.

Sometimes your message just doesn't interpret the way it ought to. But maybe it's not the ad. Maybe we should just stop trolling senior citizen websites. Maybe we should stop mixing vodka in our orange juice at breakfastime. There could be a thousand contributing factors here.

In a perhaps misguided attempt to encourage people to donate organs, Fondation Greffe de Vie releases the following campaign by Leo Burnett/Paris.

We can't read the copy but according to AdCritic it says divorcing a part or two can save up to seven lives. If that doesn't make you feel more charitable, look closely at the image. "Merci" is etched into the flesh beneath the stitching. Isn't that sweet?

While we're quite sure this is tongue in cheek and an homage advertising pre-feminist glory days, we're still not quite sure what flooring materials have to do with an attractive woman. Created by Shine Advertising, the campaign supposedly "hinges on day-in-the-life moments, in which the oft-ignored flooring actually becomes the focal point of an event." It's all designed to appeal to the Mcmansion crowd who want to feel as if they're a part of an economic class of which they will never be a part. Oh yea, that's aspirational advertising. Basically the point of every ad campaign created. But what's up with the fawning females and that ridiculous copy?

Having disingenuously defecated on the campaign, this might work better as a trade campaign. After perusing through Floor Covering Installer Magazine with its ceaseless parade of dull product shot advertising, this campaign would certainly catch a glimpse from the almost entirely male demo that makes up that industry. See two other versions of the ad hereand here.

Here's one of those ads that makes you want to check your arms for track marks to make sure you aren't high on something. In this entrancing Innocent smoothie commercial, an orange introspectively ponders life after death as he prepares to become part of the product. You can see more of the refreshingly odd campaign here.

The campaign is not endorsed by Innocent but an effort by Swedish agency Peacock Advertising to pitch the account.

Oh, ick. Adfreak points us over to this ad for the River City Bagel and Bakery in Boise, Idaho. Apparently they wanted to get a little clever and tie their product to the Vagina Monologues, which is playing in the area.

We're not prudes about anatomy but the thought of quim over our next lox shmear brings us close to queasy.

There's a bunch of big cocks (no, not that kind) in UK advertising and they're all highlighted in this BBC video clip presented by British comedian Charlie Brooker. Not much else to say. Just watch. Oh, and who would you nominate for biggest cocks in US advertising?

Aside from the obvious mis-steps such as the use of IM vernacular and Flash which makes impossible the ability to link to specific content within the new site for Calvin Klein's CKin2U perfume as pointed out by Adland, does anyone else look at this visual of a guy pressing up against a girl and read CocK in 2 U? We thought not. Which is why we have the dirty mind and you don't.

UPDATE: There's an online social networking site that accompanies the campaign.

Because all great men should start as "little stand up guys," Peter Potty pushes its stand-and-flush toddler urinal for people who want to train their tiny soldiers how a real man takes the piss.

If you think the product's total genius, an on-site Oprah banner allows proud mums to nominate it as a gift. Chances are a slew of nominations will put the man-making Peter Potty into a pipeline for products Oprah can claim to love insatiably on her next special. We're really looking forward to seeing her gush about this one so do cast a vote.

There's a running Ebay sale for a Dodge Neon covered in over 1500 Pokemon cards from both the first and second generation. With a bid over $600 and seven days left running, we think the guys that did it have a decent chance of meeting their $7000 reserve, particularly if the sip and click trend keeps claiming victims.

"Just think about it," says Hypothetical Drunk Friend #1. "Can't you imagine how fucking awesome it would be to have a Pokemon car? When will we ever have this chance again?!"

Remember that weird You are Music thing Nokia did, the thing with the bodysuit guy and the rapper? To push the N800 internet tablet, Sweden's FarFar brings us more weird, somewhat off-putting work with The Internet Walk, which plays on the notion of taking the internet to places it's never been.

Sounds like a good idea in theory but we don't get this at all. And now we can't get the annoyingly lyrical "Come on" out of our heads.