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The BOMB

Welcome to the BOMB.

The BlogOf the"Mother"of Bandit.

Bandit is my Hairless Chinese Crested--he's the "normal" one. I, on the other hand, am unrepentantly "pet-crazy." You know the type--the spinster who lives in the haunted house three blocks over with 72 cats...okay, so I don't have 72 cats, and my house isn't haunted--but my dogs wardrobe is better than mine! Need I say more? :~)

I've never been consistant at journaling, so the timing of my blogs will be sporadic at best. I just hope they are as entertaining to you as they are to me; however, be forewarned: Most of my blogs will be about The BaldOne. In spite of his Don King "do," I think he's just as cute as any of the Brothers B!

Now, if I can just remember not to get him wet--or feed him after midnight...

About Me

My bags are packed and I'm always ready to seek out an adventure with Bandit and Moggy in tow. Bandit is my thirteen year old Chinese Crested, who I frequently call The Bald One or The BaldOne Boy (like he was one of the Baldwin Brothers). Moggy’s full name is Pip-Moggy. He’s my two year old gansta-resuce kitty. I couldn’t decide between Pip (which are the spots on die and domino tiles) and Moggy (or Moggie when I mistakenly thought he was a she), so I combined the two. Moggy refers to the British term for "cat of unknown parentage .”
So in essence, I have an almost bald dog, and I’ve named my cat “Spot.”

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

I have a friend that keeps me in stitches. She's not a plastic surgeon or a seamstress. She just finds herself in downright hilarious situations. All the time. In fact, just about every time we get together she regales me with one of her self-depreciating stories about deer middle schoolers, drive-through banking bungles, or her infamous Home Depot Date--she didn't pick someone up at the Home Depot--her date TOOK her there! On purpose. I'm telling you, when she tells her latest tale of woe, I weep

Last night was such a time. As we talked and laughed by telephone, I howled with laughter and squirmed in my seat in an attempt to avoid wetting myself.

At one point she said to me, "Please don't tell anyone about this."

Silly girl.

And then realizing to whom she was speaking she amended her plea to, "When you write about this, please don't use my real name."

Now that I have her permission to write about the incident--I'm punch drunk with fatigue--and I have totally forgotten the story!

So, to my anonymous comedic friend (whose initials start with--no, I promised I would not identify you, so I won't), please PM me a few key phrases so I can recall your story.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

I gave up cable years ago. It's not been a big loss. Once I've seen a
show, I really don't want to revisit it nightly for the entire month—unless
it's The Princess Bride. I watched TPB at least 25 times when I was in
college, and I've probably seen it at least that many more times since then.

Because I don't have cable, I'm pretty unaware of current shows.
However, I gave gotten hooked on a few cable shows thanks to DVDs, and Friends
who tape shows they think I'll like. Most of the shows are cop shows—although I
do like Duck Dynasty and Swamp People.

My Entertainment Pushers include Mama and Two Ladies of the Church (who
happen to also be Spadettes—it's the nickname of our card playing group—although
we have branched out and embraced a couple of non-spade games).

First there’s Mama—she doesn’t have TV, let alone cable; however she
does have a gazillion DVDs. Mama is my hokey "reality" show supplier.
I’ve seen every past season of Duck
Dynasty and Swamp People.I have no clue what’s currently up with these
people, but I’m well aware of everything about their past seasons.

Second, Miss Linda, my pseudo-Mama,
feeds my Crime-Drama fix with a little Big
Bang Theory thrown in for comic relief.It started innocently enough several years ago when she introduced me to
The Closer—right around the time it
was coming to an end. Luckily, there was a fantastic spin-off that kept most of
the characters, Major Crimes.This obsession snowballed into the addition
of NCIS, Risoli and Isles, and NCIS
New Orleans.As stated, BBT is our comedic relief.

Finally, Miss Sharon is my newest dealer. She tempts my competitive
spirit with a game show. But not just any game show. She knows I'm special, so
she picked out what she calls "the perfect show for you!"She introduced it to me by saying, "I
saw this show and I instantly thought of you!You'd be perfect on it!"

Leery and apprehensive, I hesitantly asked what made her think if
me--Miss Sharon is slightly notorious for her introductions. She once
introduced a friend to her Sunday School Class by saying, "This is my
friend so-and-so, I know she looks normal--but she's really not!" The
friend in question was actually someone the others had been praying for and
Sharon was referencing her unseen medical condition.

When I asked Sharon what game show I would be perfect for, her response
was an enthusiastic, IdiotTest!

I busted out laughing. The truth about what Sharon thinks about me had
finally surfaced. After a good laugh, we settled down to watch. It's a funny
show. I am amazed at how often I, a bright educated woman am in fact, an idiot.
Or, how many times the idiot on the TV screen stumbles into the correct answer
without knowing the answer.Sadly, that
is the case more often than not. We have decided the show needs a couple of
auxiliary rules.

1). In order to retain your prize money, you must be required to
correctly defend your answer—no winning by a lucky guess.

2). Failure to successfully defend your answer will result in
forfeiture of your prize money.

3). The new name of the game show will be Two Shows and a Pause—because
it sometimes takes us watching the show twice, and pausing the screen so we can carefully
read the question and discuss our options, before we finally come up with the
winning answer.

And we always come up with the
wining answer.

No matter how long we have to review and pause… And I sometime still
contest the TV Host’s answer and rationale—but that’s because I’m always right—and
we can prove it!At the end of every
show we are the would-be winners of the
$10,000 Grand Prize!