The Final Fantasy series has lost a lot of its brand integrity over the last few years, hasn’t it? Maybe most of us just grew out of the target demographic and don’t find Philosophy 101 styled anime soap operas all that appealing anymore. Square Enix has nothing to worry about though, since there will always be an audience out there just frothing at the mouth for the next installment so they can start writing their fanfictions starring their Original Characters (do not steal). Smug anime nerds and Final Fantasy fans go hand-in-hand, so let’s take a look at the Final Fantasy Forums and see what they’re up to.

“If a society where dating your, brother/sister even cousins were ok, would you?” If you have siblings or any amount of self worth whatsoever, you probably said, “Hell naw, son. Why would you even ask dat shit?” That’s because the good folks over at MyAnimeList once pondered such a question. Let’s take a look at their answers.

The OP to get us started.

I want to email this to all his family members.

KissXSis is an anime where high school aged twins try to seduce their step-brother. Also, it’s ffffffffffffffffuckanime

Why bother learning how to talk to girls when grandma is just as good?

Meet Eric Draven, or thedarkericdraven as he is known through most other websites. Eric Draven has taken his online handle from the main character of The Crow, and believes he is a reincarnated Chinese half-giant kobold warrior that had magic powers, a magic sword, and a “willing slave” that was reincarnated as one of his classmates named Stephanie. Unfortunately, he seems to have wiped his tumblr, so I could only grab parts from the cached version. He mainly used this tumblr to talk about how being “otherkin” was just like being transgendered, and obsessed over the idea of regaining his magical kobold powers. He also kept hope that his classmate, Stephanie, would regain her “previous life’s” memories and submit to him as a slave again.

Pedophilia on!

Thanks

Heh, see any other pedophiles around here?

Most of this information was produced when he was an active member of the TVTropes community. His frequent admissions to being an open pedophile and delusions of being a kobold finally led to his banning, especially after his defense of pedophilia-laden anime works like Kodomo no Jikan. He was given an offer to return to TVTropes under a different user name, but instead chose to join a TVTropes off-shoot site called It Just Bugs Me. It’s on these forums where he revealed he believes anime exists in its own dimension, like Toon Land in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? This delusion is also why he would frequently refer to himself as a hero and talked about personalities like they were fictional character traits.

Pedophilia, a character trait.

Guys, just forget that I'm a pedophile! Geeze!

Fuck this guy

Life is a JRPG

TVTropes: Pedophile Haven

I apologize for not being able to grab more of his past life fantasies. He holds onto the belief that he was a half-giant kobold magic swordsman that fought in the Second Sino-Japanese War. He claims he fought against the Japanese in support of the aristocracy, despite the fact that the legitimate Qing dynasty head at the time was literally a puppet ruler installed by the Japanese during the war. He seems pretty open about these delusions, so once they show up again I’ll be sure to grab them for a follow up! In the mean time, I’ll leave you in awe with a picture of the man himself.

It is a tale. Told by a pedophile, full of potatoes and violent threats, signifying nothing.

Welcome to the end of the Colonel McBadass saga. If you’ve been keeping up with his articles and the rambling comments he’s been vomiting out on this very website, you’ve probably noticed the delusional tough guy persona he puts on. His terrible views on statutory rape laws cultivated a lot of hate, but it was after he started threatening violence and sexual assault on a teenage girl that YouTube user shinkaito called him out on one of his endless fight challenges. Colonel McSanders tried to save face and agreed to this anime honor duel, making a response video (incorrectly calling him “masukaito”) and told him to meet up at a middle school for their showdown.

Shinkaito, wisely knowing this guy should not be anywhere near a middle school ever, set up an alternate location at a park. The potato took him up on this new location, giving various video responses where he claimed he was “training” for the fight and going to totally destroy shinkaito. Luckily for us, shinkaito had the consideration to bring a video camera and show what happened when the fateful time finally arrived. Let’s take a look at this exciting fight footage! Make sure you turn on annotations.

He never showed up. As you can see from his comment, he doesn’t even try to rationalize his hiding out by saying the whole affair was stupid in the first place. It’s the perfect event to close on this great potato adventure, and this video basically sums up his personality better than anything else could. Let’s take a short trip down memory lane to cap this off:

Potato and Juliet

Not everyone can wuss out from a fight and still try to act tough

Gonna need protein to buff up! *eats 20 buckets of KFC*

Clearly the superior being here

Hahaha, just kidding. A guy like this will probably have plenty of opportunities to humiliate himself some more, so keep posted.

Pedophile apologist, Colonel McBadass, decided to close all of his previous YouTube accounts after being called out on his statutory rape laws video. I’m kind of surprised he folded so quickly, considering how long he tried to play internet tough guy. Luckily for us, he decided he couldn’t just sit back and let people tell him it’s wrong to want to have sex with 13-year-olds. Here are some gems from his newaccounts:

The potato man in these videos went by the name of Colonel McBadass on TVTropes. Despite TVTropes being infamous for being a haven to anime obsessed pedophile apologists, he was banned when he ranted at a 15 year old girl when she said she felt creeped out by adult men hitting on her. After being called out on his behavior by someone going by Roland Jones on a different forum, he decided to post up a video to show the whole world his greasy opinions on statutory rape laws.

UPDATE: The greasy sperglord made his videos private, so here’s a summary!

UPDATE 2: Statutory rape video is back up!

FAST AND HARD!!

You think this is something? Give me a full minute, and a gaggle of schoolgirls(Japanese, preferably.) and see how many asses I can whup! In a good way, of course.

Cane Video: Fat guy in super puffy vest flails some old man cane for thirty seconds while screaming, “I’M LIKE THE FUCKING FLASH WITH THIS SHIT!”

Statutory Rape Laws: Fat, sweaty man squeezes his face directly against his webcam. He then spends about five minutes talking about how statutory rape laws are unfair and break up innocent relationships because you aren’t a child anymore when you turn thirteen years old.

Here it is. Probably the worst thing produced by the cumulative efforts of humanity: A video of pedophile and sexual deviant Thaddeus McMichael having sex with an anime pillow that depicts what I can only assume is his imaginary anime waifu Kotonoha Katsura.

It goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway just to be sure) that this video is INCREDIBLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK and features full nudity and utterly creepy and disturbing behavior from Thad. Your eyes might be physically unscathed, but your psyche and soul will be damaged, possibly beyond repair. I apologize for this, but we do what we must here at The Anime Reality.

Also of note is his biographical quote on the Tumblr blog:

I love mai waifu Kotonoha and young underaged white girls.
An asian is fine too.

What do you do when a man is caught with child porn? Why, make tribute videos celebrating his life and accomplishments, of course!

As far as I can tell, these are sincere tributes to Thaddeus McMichael, who, in case you have the worst memory on the planet, was caught with hundreds of images and video of child pornography. Granted, I didn’t check for tribute genuineness very thoroughly. Just so you know, these three tribute videos use a lot of the same images of Thad, from the fleeting moments I watched each of them. I’m especially fond of the second video’s choice of the sappy song from CON AIR, starring Nicolas Cage. What a classic.