In Monticello, N.Y., a man facing a felony DWI charge showed up for his court hearing an hour and a half late, drunk, and carrying an open can of Busch beer in one hand and a bag full of unopened beer cans in the other. He was promptly thrown in jail. -- Times Herald-Record (Middletown, N.Y.)

And he hasn't forgotten about that homework incident, either

In Mason, Ohio, when asked by police officers why he was found barking and hissing at the police dog they'd left in their squad car while they investigated a car crash, 25-year-old Ryan James Stephens said "the dog started it." -- The Associated Press

Is that shrimp in your pants, or are you just happy sashimi?

A Pennsylvania man faces robbery and assault charges after he allegedly stuffed a bag of frozen shrimp down his pants and attacked a grocery store security guard who tried to stop him. -- The Associated Press

Poultry in motion – in their pants!

In Peterborough, Ontario, a man stuffed four packages of chicken down his pants and walked out of a No Frills grocery store. He was arrested. Meanwhile, at a Valu Market in Louisville, Ky., Steven P. Malone was seen stuffing four pounds of chicken down the front of his shorts. Police said he was walking down the aisle with his shorts falling down past his knees. He faces theft and public intoxication charges. -- Toronto Sun, WLKY

OK, can we all just agree to stop hiding stolen items in our pants?

Oklahoma police say a shoplifter stuffed a chainsaw down his pants and tried to sneak out of the Ross Seed Co. in Chickasha. Anthony Black, 21, was arrested after employees chased him from the store. One of the workers said he thought Black was "crippled" because of the bulge in his pants and the way he was moving. -- KFOR (Oklahoma City)