Tag Archives: morning joe

Did you hear the one about how Donald Trump thinks John McCain is a L-O-S-E-R for getting captured and held as a prisoner of war that one time, in the Nam, for five and a half years? Of course you did, because we, along with the rest of the entire US of A, can’t stop talking about it.
Read more on John McCain Graciously Refuses To Tell Donald Trump To F*ck Himself In The Ear…

Donald Trump, who is so FOR REAL a serious contender for US American president in 2016, has a favorite president of his own, and it is Bill Clinton. WHAT? But we thought Trump was a super Republican, here to Make America Great Again™, after evil tyrant Democrat Barack Obama ruined it! But yes, it is true, Bill Clinton was Trump’s favorite recent president, at least until Donald Trump becomes president, and also Clinton would have been an even better president if he hadn’t met all those whores. Trump told all this to Joe “Morning Joe” Scarborough, on the “Morning Joe” program Thursday morning:
Read more on Donald Trump Says Bill Clinton Was Best, Classiest President Ever, Too Bad About Hillary’s Age…

First Lady Senator Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, Esquire, is running for president now, but not everyone is impressed. (They are all Republicans, plus, like, four Prius-driving vegans still fantasizing about drafting Elizabeth Warren.)
Read more on Carly Fiorina Thinks Hillary Clinton Is A Lightweight, Unlike Carly Fiorina…

Sen. Tom Cotton, Arkansas teabagger and the world’s foremost expert on how to win friends and influence people, appeared on “Morning Joe” to explain why he is not a traitor for writing a letter to the leaders of Iran explaining that President Obama doesn’t really have any authority, so ignore him.
Read more on Sen. Tom Cotton’s Iran Mash Note Not Working Out That Well For Him Actually…

What have we here? Oh, just another plan from two of Wonkette’s most favorite legislators, Bestest Senator Ever Elizabeth Warren and Inaugural Legislative Badass award winner Rep. Elijah Cummings, to save the middle class from the Republican plan to destroy it, with a new thing they are calling the Middle Class Prosperity Project.
Read more on Badasses Elizabeth Warren And Elijah Cummings Give Joe Scarborough A Talking-To…

Mike Huckabee, perpetual maybe-presidential candidate, wrote a book about what’s wrong with America. Everything, basically, is wrong with America — including the Obamas allowing their daughters to get their hippity-hop on to Beyonce’s whore music. But it’s not as if he wanted anyone to notice that. That anyone in the media is all, “Huh? What?” just proves his point that America is a cesspool of Indecency and Immorality and other I-words. (The Huckster is also fond of the greatest I-word in the Bible, which no Republicans ever talk about, ever, but it rhymes with dimpeachment.)
Read more on Mike Huckabee Can’t Believe Beyonce Still Hasn’t Resigned In Disgrace…

Yosemite Rick Perry, the rootinest, tootinest governor in all the land, was in NEW YORK CITY today to spend a few minutes making merry with the Zoo Crew on “Morning Joe.” The biggest surprise of the entire interview was that Joe Scarborough managed to resist flinging himself across the table to plant a sloppy, wet kiss on Yosemite Rick. The least surprising part was when Yosemite Rick let everyone know that, unlike those fancy, arugula-eatin’ Secret Service agents what guard that faggy perfesser Barack Obama, his security detail wouldn’t put up with no interlopers in the Texas governor’s mansion, no sir.
Read more on Rick Perry Is The Best Secret Service Agent, Gonna Kill You Real, REAL Dead…

Just because New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R-Bridgegate) makes Bruce Springsteen sick to his stomach because Christie stands for everything The Boss stands against is no reason why The Boss doesn’t want Christie pretending they are total besties. Take that, silly lady who thinks otherwise:
Read more on Chris Christie Will Fight Some Dumb Lady About Bruce Springsteen, Boss Of You…

Last night, Ferguson, Missouri, police arrested Wesley Lowery of the Washington Post and Ryan J. Reilly of HuffPo for assaulting a McDonald’s by charging their equipment there. Joe Scarborough, the former Republican congressman who leads off the day at liberal MSNBC by spewing balls-out sexist shit at his coanchor and laughing at equal pay, had some thoughts about that, like: why would a reporter try to cover something a police said he couldn’t cover? That’s just rude! (Police also tear-gassed a crew from Al Jazeera and then dismantled their equipment. Video here.) Joe Scarborough would like journalists to stop trying to get on TV and show the police some respect!
Read more on WaPo Reporter Arrested In Ferguson Invites Joe Scarborough To Drink A Starbucks Cup Of STFU…

We do not usually watch “Morning Joe” unless we are looking for tips as to whether to tuck our shirt collar inside our sweaters or not these days, and also too because “Morning Joe” is a monumentally stupid name. However, we will always endure a few minutes of it whenever it involves Mika Brzezinski telling Joe Scarborough to STFU because that is a thing we yell at our teevee every time we are forced to watch Joe Scarborough do anything.
Let’s set the stage for the Mika smackdown, shall we? Living breathing receding hairline Marco Rubio showed up on “This Week” on Sunday to explain that he just doesn’t believe in climate change, probably because of Jesus or that his head is too far in the sand, or perhaps just a simple little difference of opinion.
Read more on Watch Mika Brzezinski Shut Down Joe Scarborough As He Sputters About Climate Change…

This weekend Bloomberg Media decided to double down on its political coverage with a game change of an announcement: the company has hired veteran stenographers John Heilemann and Mark Halperin to launch a new website that will cover America’s political news and policy. What a relief! No one has leveraged a big name in political coverage to launch such a site in at least two or three weeks and we were starting to jones a little for something new. Will there be charts? It’s not a political website without charts. Read more on Get Ready: Another White Dude News Explainer Website Coming At Ya…

What even the fuck, “Joe” Scarborough? We thought we could count on you to be our sexy douchey conservadaddy (shut up wonkers), and it turns out you are just another emoprog #Occupy communist pansy whining about income inequality and Warren Buffett’s secretary’s tax rate. First you came to take all our guns and put them in gun jail, then you called Sean Hannity a racist vulture douche (direct quote, we think), and now THIS?
Then you look at what doesn’t make sense to I guess 95% of Americans? That the richest Americans, the richest Americans are paying 14, 15, 16% tax rates.
While the secretaries are paying twice that much. Why we don’t have a minimum tax rate of 30% is beyond me. And I say that especially because of all the billionaires and gazillionaires. If you’re not getting a paycheck across your desk, chances are good you’re figuring how to pay 16%, 17%. That is obscene. It’s wrong and Americans, 95% of Americans think that’s wrong. And then the same thing with the off shore accounts. You know? My feeling if people want to move their people offshore, they need to move offshore with their money. Seriously. If they want to shield their money from taxes and go offshore, you’re not welcome in the United States of America. Follow your damn money.
Just stop right there, you un-American pussy. No, really, stop, or that nice toddler Ben Shapiro will never be able to catch up with you on his little rubber baby legs, and put you UNDER ARREST. Read more on Uh Oh, Joe Scarborough Is A Communist Now…

We’re going to have to set up some sort of macro template to write about Chris Christie. It can include the words “bridge” and “corruption” and “investigation widens” and “Hurricane Sandy” and so on. The weekend brought news that Christie allegedly (see? no libel there!) blocked Hurricane Sandy aid to Hoboken because Mayor Dawn Zimmer wouldn’t play ball. We’ve touched upon this a couple times already but let’s face it: there is no such thing as too much coverage of the delicious ever-expanding Chris Christie scandal.
So what is it that kicked off this latest possibly career-destroying scandal? Over the weekend, Hoboken lady mayor came forward and explained how her city had gotten approximately ten dollars of Hurricane Sandy aid instead of the kazillions it needs since the city was basically drowned during the hurricane, all thanks to Christie withholding those funds unless Zimmer greenlit a pet redevelopment project.
Read more on Withholding Hurricane Sandy Aid Should Teach Hoboken Not To Take Sides With Anyone Against Chris Christie Ever Again…

Here is Andrea Mitchell recalling a little run-in that she had last spring with Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Poutine). Mitchell was on the Morning Joe gabfest yesterday, and said that Cruz appeared to be far more interested in pursuing his Presidential Destiny (as prophesized by his father), instead of making nice, being Senatorial, or passing laws:
“Ted Cruz’s strategy is that he wants to be either a presidential nominee or part of the presidential process,” Mitchell said. “He has no strategy to get along and make friends and produce legislation in the Senate.”
You would think that someone who wants to be preznit would know that Friendship is Magic, but that is apparently just not on Ted’s agenda, thank you very much, he is a busy man who has some very important grandstanding to do. Read more on Astonishing! Ted Cruz Turns Out To Be A Thin-Skinned Whiner-Boy!…

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Do you watch Morning Joe? We do not watch Morning Joe. Our mom, Commie Mom, watches Morning Joe, for the same reason she listens to Rush Limbaugh: she has dangerously low blood pressure, and without some hypertension SHE WOULD DIE. Read more on Joe Scarborough Says Sean Hannity Is A Racist Vulture Douche…

OK, the bad news is that so in order to watch Paul Krugman, you have to first endure Paul Ryan (R-Pissant) and his smarmy little mug, but don’t worry, the good news is he goes away pretty quickly!
But then — and this is more bad news — he is replaced by another idiot (Morning Joe) and Ed Rendell, who we have come not to like so much now that he is chairing the corporate-sponsored “Fix the Debt” campaign.
So anyway the video begins with Joe and whatshername asking Paul Krugman what the hell is going on in Spain. No, not as in “why is there 50% youth unemployment” but as in, “why are they buying your book over in Spain and also in Japan?” Important questions indeed.
Read more on Paul Krugman Brings Facts To Ideology Fight…