Legal news: ASBO’s to be scrapped.

The Home Office announced today that the Anti-Social Behaviour Order is to be replaced with a new punishment, the ‘not a nice chap, y’know.’
A spokesman said ‘for some time now, oiks and hooligans have been using ASBO’s as a badge of honour amongst their friends, even boasting about them on social media. So this new punishment should put a stop to that.’
The head of the Police Federation, Sir Mark Yorkard, said ‘this is good news. We all know that gang-bangers, thugs and other n’er-do-wells are very sensitive about suggestions of effeminacy, so we’re especially pleased that we can take a photo of the offender wearing a pink t-shirt bearing the slogan ‘I’M A NANCY BOY’ and make him use it as his profile picture on facebook.
Paul Summerscale, 15, a not-nice chap from Peterlee, County Durham, convicted of being Northern in public, is the first recipient of the new punishment. When asked to comment, his response was in an imitation Jamaican patois, and utterly incomprehensible, but a translator suggested that he’d said “please don’t make me wear this in prison.”