The Bucs defense didn’t look ready for primetime on Thursday night against New England. To put it mildly.

Heck, they weren’t even ready for Patriots quarterback Tom Brady to snap the ball usually.

“[Adrian] Clayborn came to me and was like, ‘Oh my god, it was so fast!’ I said, ‘I know! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!’ It was a reality check, we needed that,” defensive tackle Gerald McCoy said via Greg. A. Bedard of the Boston Globe.

“Man, I’m telling you man, they came out, they’d turn around huddle, snap, oh, ‘There’s the Mike, Go!’ I was like, ‘Dang! Um, Mr. Brady, can we line up?’ He didn’t care. He was like, ‘You’re not going to line up.”’ McCoy said. “When we turned around one time I checked back around and my hand was going to the grass and they were like, ‘Hut!’ And I said, ‘Noooooooooooo!’”

The Patriots played at a very quick tempo, and the Bucs couldn’t recognize how to match up quickly. McCoy thinks it’s exactly what the team needed after getting a “false sense of security last week.”

“[Linebacker Mason Foster? He needed to see Tom Brady. He didn’t see to see Calabaloo from last week, whatever the dude’s name was. I’m sorry if you can hear this. I don’t know who you were, I’m sorry. It’s nothing personal,” McCoy said.

“Tyler Palko?” a reporter asked.

“Falko, yeah, the replacement. He needed to see Tom Brady,” McCoy responded.

To repeat: Do not draft Calabaloo in your fantasy league. He is not a real person. Do not draft Tyler Palko either. Or Falko.

Reaper16

08-19-2011, 08:26 AM

Mr. Rosenthal has a bright future ahead of him at The Atchison Times.

Zeke

08-19-2011, 08:27 AM

ROFL

Hydrae

08-19-2011, 08:38 AM

Calabaloo, I hope that sticks with him until he no longer sticks to this team.

Sofa King

08-19-2011, 08:42 AM

LMAO Palko gets all the chicks.

http://i.fanpix.net/images/orig/j/q/jqjmklby93qtlkyq.jpg

Chiefnj2

08-19-2011, 08:47 AM

"False sense of security" from playing against KC. Good job Haley.

Shag

08-19-2011, 09:14 AM

"False sense of security" from playing against KC's 2nd and 3rd stringers. Good job Haley.

It has just come to my attention that this is a real article based on a real interview with real quotes. I actually thought that you wrote this up as a humor piece. I'm blown away.

This paragraph:
“Man, I’m telling you man, they came out, they’d turn around huddle, snap, oh, ‘There’s the Mike, Go!’ I was like, ‘Dang! Um, Mr. Brady, can we line up?’ He didn’t care. He was like, ‘You’re not going to line up.”’ McCoy said. “When we turned around one time I checked back around and my hand was going to the grass and they were like, ‘Hut!’ And I said, ‘Noooooooooooo!’”
is one of the greatest paragraphs in the history of sports journalism.