I feel really **** and my headache wont go away. I'm thinking of my grandma who had a stroke and fell into a coma last night, and hoping my family is holding up ok with the situation. And that it's unfair that the cheapest flight back to see her from today onwards is £1400 ($2000+), but also unsure if I want to go see her because I want to remember her as a lively, happy woman, and I don't want to feel helpless beside her wanting to talk to her but knowing that she is not.. there... when I try to hug or speak to her. At the same time it is nice to be all together with family and there in person, but I just have to figure out what feels right for me