Blue as the Sky

23 June 2004

This is a very old post that was automatically imported from LiveJournal. I have done my best to fix up the formatting, but some issues may remain. Comments have not been preserved.

Well, it’s been a week and a half since I left Southampton, and things are going… oddly. I’ve spent a lot of time at Adam’s (watching the England games and playing IIDX) and Dom’s (playing FFX-2 and Grandia 2, plus chatting about random stuff). Also visited Andy’s house once for more IIDX fun, which was awesome.

Last night was Dom’s birthday, so him, Adam and I went to Wetherspoons in the evening. After a couple of pints of Old Rosie (<3 cider) though, I felt extremely drunk… my vision was kind of messing up, which felt really bad. I guess I’m even more weak than I used to be. Hopefully I managed not to spoil the evening for the others. Some of their conversations managed, predictably, to break me ;;_;; I wonder, though… if it’s a bad thing that I react that way. Acting like that is definitely a part of me, but sometimes I can’t help feeling that it’s a bad thing. But if I didn’t have that, what would there be of me?

I feel, sometimes, as if there’s a way I can go forwards and a way I can go back, but no way of staying with everything as it is now.

In other news, Stellvia is an awesome anime series. But I’m not sure if it’s just because of my own emotions at the moment that I really love it. I’m guessing Stellvia’s love story isn’t anything special, but it seems to be meaning an awful lot to me.

I think I may be coming to understand what love might feel like (guess I’m kinda’ late, huh? Only starting to realise things like that at 19 years old…). I’m not, of course, properly falling in love with someone – but I get the feeling that it’s now actually possible for me to do so, if it wasn’t before…

Heh, I guess my rambling doesn’t make much sense. But then, neither does the inside of my head nor the inside of my heart at the moment…