Judge Bans Too Stupid Man From Having Sex

AT the High Court the judge has banned Alan, a man with an IQ of 48 and some learning issues, from having sex. Yes, readers, the man is deemed too stupid to have sex. He must not be allowed to breed. The State owns his reproductive organs.

But he enjoys sex. He loves having sex with the man he lives with. But the 41-year old is too dumb to understand the perils of enjoyable sex. So, the judge says he must stop doing it.

A psychiatrist is called to say that is the man is given sex education classes he would become “confused”.

The man is now subject to “close supervision” by the local authority that houses him. As the judge says:

“I therefore make a declaration that at the present time Alan does not have the capacity to consent to and engage in sexual relations. In such circumstances it is agreed that the present régime for Alan’s supervision and for the prevention of future sexual activity is in his best interests.”

Only he does have the capacity to engage in sexual relations – just like all rapists, paedophiles, womanisers, adulterers and other sexual miscreants who are not banned from having sex (unless they are given conjugal rights in jail)…