I was cleaning out a closet this weekend and found something I wrote just after the Fellowship came out - it was the entire LOTR plot in verse. Picture the Ents trying to figure out where the Hobbits fit in the old lists and Treebeard reciting a line or two about the nature of otters [or was it badgers?] and my verse is something like that.

I thought I'd re-post it here, for your amusement or derision- whatever you're feeling. I am no writer.... not at all. And I don't pretend to be - but this thing sprang forth whole from my forehead, as it were. I was never before, nor since, so inspired to compose something like this. With humility, I present:

Lord of the RingsTolkien thingsBilbo singsBalrog wingsHobbits walkingTrees talkingHorses balkingNazgul flyingElves decryingMoria. Khazad-dumDrums roll-endless gloomGandalf falls, "Fly you fools!"Lothlorien, the Golden WoodGimli stood firm, but goodGaladriel, the beautifulDistributes giftsUseful toolsAnduin, the River GreatBoromir sealed his fateForth Three Hunters bold and swiftPippin, Merry cause a shiftEnts marching as to warKnocking hard on Saruman's doorLegolas and Gimli seesEyes in trees! Eyes in trees!Theoden astride his horse"Forth Eorlings!" show of forceErkenbrand his horn did blowthe cock did crowWrecking nothing of Wizardryor gadgetryA simple mornOft hope is bornHurons clear the battlefieldRangers come with sword and shieldA different path is theirs to takeSpeed is needed; much at stakeRacing to Pelennor FieldNo time to yieldTo doubt or dreadEowyn slays the Witchking deadMerry helps [stands in good stead]Aragorn and Eomer meetTho' all the host of Mordor greetthem with battle cries, now dismayedAs certain victory, disarayedturns to defeat.Aragorn healsWhile Gandalf's zealEmboldens Captains of the WestForth toward the ultimate testTo Mordor's Gate they did arriveAnd there did striveWith Sauron on his shadowy throneSam and Frodo, all aloneWith Gollum capering on the brinkLittle then did Sauron thinkHis peril lies in Halfling's handWhile mortals make a final standEagles come; all is wellMelted Ring breaks Morgul SpellTo Gondor, Faramir fealty sworeThe Steward's reign is now no moreAragorn and Arwen kissHe is King; they live in blissRingbearers and Elves at Havens meetWhere parting is so bittersweetTo Elvenhome they sail awayThe time of Men begins todayHobbits return to home and bedSam arrives, "Well, I'm back!" he said.

The 60Second Lord of the Rings! That's great, Ms. B! You got it all summed - even included Erkenbrand! Brava!

"He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God." - Aeschylus

"He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God." - Aeschylus