A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly open the door to the freezer, the parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,

Couple was on their honeymoon and got a parrot as a gift, every time they would get to it the bird would jump up and down and get excited making all kinds of rude comments. After 2 days of this the couple walked over and told the parrot 'one more word out of you and you will get stuffed', then pulled the cover over the cage.
Not a sound did the bird make for 3 days, as they were packing to leave the suitcases were pretty full and they could not get the last one closed, husband says to wife 'you get on top and we'll try it that way', 'nope', 'I'll get on top and we'll see if that works' 'nope, thats not working either', 'honey, lets both get on top and try that'.......

with that the parrot rips off the cover of the cage and says 'stuffed or not stuffed, this I gotta see'...

Couple was on their honeymoon and got a parrot as a gift, every time they would get to it the bird would jump up and down and get excited making all kinds of rude comments. After 2 days of this the couple walked over and told the parrot 'one more word out of you and you will get stuffed', then pulled the cover over the cage.
Not a sound did the bird make for 3 days, as they were packing to leave the suitcases were pretty full and they could not get the last one closed, husband says to wife 'you get on top and we'll try it that way', 'nope', 'I'll get on top and we'll see if that works' 'nope, thats not working either', 'honey, lets both get on top and try that'.......

with that the parrot rips off the cover of the cage and says 'stuffed or not stuffed, this I gotta see'...

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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."