Surviving Domestic Violence--I Survived You Can Too!

Domestic violence is running rampant all over the world. Right here in the USA alone, tragic stories bloody the headlines every day. Many people ask why a woman would stay with a man who beats her? People often believe the myth that a woman who is beaten must like it or she’d leave. Read More

I was one of those women. Fear was the biggest reason I didn’t leave. That, along with the fact that he promised he would get help and change. He cried with real tears in his eyes. I believed him. But the alcohol he drank, made him even meaner. Anytime he drank, I’d end up black and blue. And so the cycle of domestic violence continued, until he almost killed me, and I barely escaped with my life. Read My Story

Sadly, things haven’t changed much. The FBI released a report saying that every 9 seconds a woman is physically abused by her husband. The report also states that women today stay with their abusers because of feelings of guilt, insecurity, fear for their children’s safety, as well as emotional and financial dependence. Read Article

The cycle of abuse will continue until you make the decision to stop it. Leaving, in most cases, is the only way out. After Singing Star, Rhianna, was attacked by Chris Brown in 2009, Oprah dedicated a one hour program to domestic violence. During the show, Rhianna’s message was, “If you go back with a man who hits you, it’s because you don’t think you’re worthy of being with a man who won’t. I’ve said it before, ‘Love doesn’t hurt, and if a man hits you once, he will hit you again.’” Read Article

This is so true of the abuse cycle. But how can women trust a judicial system that has failed countless women? Joe Biden wrote the Violence Against Women Act in 1994, which did some great things; helped prosecute abusers, gave aid to women for housing, and enabled a hot line for them to call in emergencies. However, Biden knows they must offer more and laws must get firmer when dealing with perpetrators. Or women like Sarah Rosio, a 24 year old Wisconsin woman, who was fatally stabbed because she couldn’t get a protection order, will continue to lose their lives. Read Article

Another case I read about, involves a young woman who was strangled to death in 2010. And the Wisconsin man who killed her, unbelievably was only placed on probation. In 2011 after this same man committed another violent act, they finally put him in prison. Read Article

What about the World Championship Boxer, Floyd Mayweather Jr., who stalked and threatened his ex-girlfriend and kids? He only got a six months sentence, but was released after just two months so he could continue his fighting career! Some people get a slap on their hand, because of their position or status, basically telling them it’s okay to do it again.Read Article

Then we hear about former Queen of the Stone Age bassist, Nick Oliveri. Although he had seven felony counts against him, including drugs and domestic violence, he made a deal with prosecutors, dropping six felonies and a 15-year prison sentence to basically community service. Read Article

Then we see things like supposed “mercy” killings. An Ohio man shot and killed his wife, who he claims was suffering in the hospital critical care unit. Read Article

Sadly, history keeps repeating over and over again.

A furious state attorney recently was angered that a prosecuting attorney let Melvin Perkins, a domestic assault perpetrator, slip through the system without being charged. Now two years later, this same man who had abused several women, is back in court, this time for stabbing his ex-girlfriend to death. Read Article

Children are even involved many times, and caught right in the middle of a terrible domestic war. One woman, holding her infant, was beaten and pushed down a flight of stairs. (Read Article) When kids are involved, they often repeat the violence they grew up in. One teen is spending 12 years in prison for a horrific act of domestic violence against a young woman.Read Article

Kids in violent homes usually abuse or make a vow to stop the abuse. A 14 year old Michigan boy is being called a hero, after wrestling a gun out of his drunken father’s hands, to protect his mother from being shot. Statistics tell us that most young boys and teens who murder, kill the man that has been abusing their mother. No child or teen should have to be faced with such a tragedy. Read Article

Yet, as indicated previously, most kids, like their parents, are afraid to seek help. Although many victims of domestic violence will never contact a police officer or other victim help agency, the number one place they will turn is to their health care provider. Due to increased stress and tension in the home, many women are battling physical conditions like asthma, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Read Article

Even though this article featured the loopholes in the system, there is still a great deal of help available for those who need it. Our Abuse Bites program offers educational workshops to help victims of abuse cross over to becoming survivors. I was a victim once myself, but now I’m a survivor. I’m remarried, (just celebrated my 19th Anniversary) I’m happy, healthy and have three beautiful, amazing grown kids, and three awesome dogs that we use for pet therapy. More Info

I’ve also listed several resources and related articles below to help women and children get the information they need to get safe and start a new life—abuse free!