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Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 25/4/16

It’s time for another Kpopalypse roundup – let’s take a look at some new releases!

U-KISS

AOA ft. Takanori Nishikawa – Give Me The Love

Sorry that I held back on this one but I needed to find some audio for the radio show that was of playable quality and didn’t have car noises in it every 2 seconds before I could play it, and with Japanese releases that’s always a longer process. No great loss to wait an extra week if you ask me as the song isn’t really anything that great.

Up10tion – Attention

This song I held back last week too and it didn’t really make an impression on me either but seriously this has to be the year’s best choreography so far.

Lovelyz – Destiny

I’m not sure where people are getting “j-pop influences” from – the strings, circle of fifths progression and hook are all straight out of 1970s disco-pop-lite, but then I guess most k-pop fans’ music listening doesn’t even go there.

Twice – Cheer Up

Twice have a second mediocre stab at reworking Shannon Williams’ great “Why Why“, right down to the reggae-lite bridge this time. The light and shade in the arrangement is welcome but overall it’s just a bit messy and clearly not working out for them, maybe something different is in order next time (just not a Fender Rhodes-driven ballad kthx).

Seventeen – Pretty U

This one’s nothing awful or anything but so unremarkable that even Seventeen’s own fans are unimpressed by it.

Lee Hi – My Star

Aiming for a “Lion Heart“/”Sugar Sugar” style retro thing here, but they try to make Lee Hi carry it on her blues-bends alone instead of writing a proper song.

VIXX – Dynamite

VIXX’s songwriters have a half-assed crack at the type of thing that SHINee has been doing lately.

Berry Good – Angel

Actually this is really good and I’m now going to pretend that all their shit songs between “Love Letter” and this one didn’t happen. Dunno about those vocal breakdowns near the end though.

Sugardonut – Imagine, Close Your Eyes

Not really into the dull Coldplay/Mumford & Sons-ish verses, but they’re just a build up to an incredibly kick-ass chorus and keyboard riff. Also the dancing duo are fantastic, they’re like a k-pop version of that great “idgaf” industrial dance couple.

Jambinai – They Keep Silence

Korea are generally hopeless at rock, with almost everything sounding like a watered-down, pussified, wimpy weak knock-off of similar western artists custom-made for a generation of softies. Jambinai are the exception. Hold onto your fucking genitals before you click play on this one, you Fender Rhodes ballad-liking pussies.

BONUS SONGS

Eunji – Hopefully Sky

I didn’t forget this song, I just didn’t play it last week because it’s fucking shit and I wasn’t going to play it this week either. Grating harmonica all throughout is the diarrhoea-icing on a terrifying shit-cake.

Choyoung – Our Thing

God that piano sounds like crap, like a $200 entry-level weighted-keyboard student piano synth being played through a practice amp. Some better production wouldn’t have hurt.

MBLAQ – Say Love

Typical sleepy restaurant ballad, nothing to see here.

Vibe ft. Gummy – 1 Year (365 Days)

And again. Move along, everyone.

Louie (Geeks) ft. Yook Sung Jae (BTOB) – On The Four-Lane Road

All I got from this video is that there’s too many cars in Korea, and there’s also too many songs like this.

RESULTS OF THE TWITTER COMPETITION

Actually there were at least eight (probably even more than that), but here’s the four I was looking for:

Hobby – Love Fool

Ken ft. U-Prime, Skolor, ONDO – Fine

Awful Fender Rhodes turds aren’t just for the pop end of the spectrum, Korean rappers also use it to make their beats soft and boring.

Melo & Eden – No One Like You

Even trap is not exempt! The only reason why every single Kpopalypse roundup since the series begun doesn’t have a Rhodes song is just because I tend to skip over most of them because I assume nobody gives a shit. Nobody won the competition because with such a high density of this crap coming out each and every week in Korea winning such a competition is impossible, there are too many options – which was of course the whole point of having such a competition, to point this out.

EVEEN MORE BONUS FENDER RHODES GARBAGE

Bizzy ft. Bumzu – All I Need

The Rhodes takes a while to appear here. This song quotes Notorious B.I.G’s “Hypnotise“, which does it no favours because it only reminds the listener how much better that song is than this one. “Hypnotise” isn’t just better but it doesn’t have any Rhodes, not a coincidence.

Defconn – No More Pain

The keyboard that starts this one off is actually a different type, but once the beat kicks in the Rhodes starts gradually working its way in, like a subway molester moving their hand up your leg.

Goofy – Old Song

A better keyboard choice and less singy-songy chorus bullshit and this song (and hundreds of others just like it) might’ve even turned out okay. Fuck rappers who go “smooth”.

Oh and there’s Rhodes in that Seventeen song too, although you have to listen close to hear it. That’s EIGHT Rhodes comebacks just in this post! If you love the sound of the Rhodes it’s your lucky week, for everyone else let’s hope this sound falls out of fashion soon!

Aw yiss Jambinai!! Song’s been out on spotify for a while, just waiting for the rest of the album. Gonna see em in the Hague and Amsterdam soon. They’re the same night as Sunn 0))) in the Melkweg. You just got me more hyped!!!

i initially described vixx’s song as shinee taking a giant neon shit all over vixx while everyone else was verbally fellating it, and it’s nice to know i’m not alone in that opinion. praise be kpopalypse.

i do feel that Dynamite lack something, but I have no vocabulary nor knowledge to point out what is in need. Can you explain a little bit “VIXX’s songwriters have a half-assed crack at the type of thing that SHINee has been doing lately”?

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A blog created by me so I can write about k-pop related stuff. Some content is related to the k-pop radio show that I host, but most of it is just random shit that I felt like writing. All of it is primarily for my own personal amusement, although if you like it too, that’s fantastic and I love you. Warning: certain posts might occasionally be considered offensive, so if you are an easily offended fucking cunt maybe go read something else instead, thanks. – KPOPALYPSE