Sunday, April 10, 2011

My Facebook "Fans" make me laugh!

Wow. A few weeks ago I suggested that my FACEBOOK FANS share their favorite status updates on my FAN PAGE. I had no idea that you were such a crazy lot of overachievers. It warms my heart to know that anybody reads my rambling blog, much less wants to contribute. This blog post is for you.

Nob Ody:
____ My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible...
____ How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what someone said?
____ Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
____ asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?"
____ used to play sports. Then I realized I can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything.
____ Facebook should change it from 'friends' to 'people I've made eye contact with."
____ Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great you are would probably get old.
____ When I was little I used to close the fridge door really slowly just to see when the light went out.
____ refuses to jump on the "I hate Mondays" bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally.

Alberto Ceballos
‎____ "Kidnapping" is such a strong word, i prefer to say "surprise adoption."
____ wishes my mouth had a backspace key.
____ sometimes i wish i could delete other people's Facebook Status updates.

Melissa Grenewalt:
____ People point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

Gagan Adiwal:
____ A scientist and his friend walk into a bar and he says "I'll have a cup of H2O." His friend says "I'll have a cup of H2O too" then he dies.

Jenna Sokolich
____ thinks that Lady Gaga just puts glue on herself and rolls around in random items.

Leilani Christi:
____ Dilemma: do I wash the dishes, or attempt to eat cornflakes from a cup with a knife?
____ wishes love was like volleyball; all you do is call 'MINE!' and everyone else backs off...

Jenni More:
____ Kids are like farts--you can only tolerate your own.
____ Being an adult means going to the grocery store, paying a ton of money and still having nothing to eat.
____ is not mean, I'm provoked.

Jackie Vargas:
____ Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I'm wide awake. Not sure who won.
____ Dear Week, I’m so over you. I’m leaving you for your best friend, Weekend. Don’t try to find us for at least two days. Love (not really), Me.

Sheila Murphy
____ Lady Gaga shows up covered in meat to the Vmas, then in an egg to the Grammys--- couple more red carpets and she will be a Denny's grand slam!

Michael O'Donnell:
____ With all these allergy meds I've taken, I could pass out at any given ti