Paul Collingwood has indeed retired. Ideally he won't get a chance to have one, last, glorious Test knock, but it would be kinda nice if he did. In the meantime, I might liberally sprinkle tonight's MBM with good memories. Anyway, cricket!

159th over: England 547-7 (Prior 90, Bresnan 21) Since the first couple of overs this morning, the level of comfort enjoyed by England's batsmen has been astonishing. They'll be coming out in slippers next

160th over: England 561-7 (Prior 95, Bresnan 31) Bresnan boshes Smith's second ball straight down the ground for a one-bounce boundary, then does it again off the last. This could be turning into the most embarrassing session of the series for Australia. There's nothing there at the moment. No passion, spirit, or apparent ability

163rd over: England 573-7 (Prior 105, Bresnan 32) Still no sign of this new ball. I'm looking forward to seeing how England's bowlers do given a last chance to have a go at the Aussies, but starting to wonder if they might not get that chance. These two could just bat out the remaining five-and-a-bit sessions, at this rate

164th over: England 584-7 (Prior 111, Bresnan 35) Australia take the new ball, and hand it to Mitchell Johnson, whose lazy half-volley is smashed away by a rapidly emboldening (is that a word) Bresnan. Prior also scoops a boundary down past third man

166th over: England 589-8 (Prior 116, Swann 0) The over is preceded by a long drinks break, with the Australian bowlers conducting a crisis meeting in the middle. When it gets going, Johnson bowls wide outside off-stump and a delighted Prior flashes hard for another boundary. That, presumably, was not the plan, though Bresnan's wicket improves matters slightly

WICKET! Prior's gone! No, hang on – it's a no ball! Again! Umpires reviewing this. It's very close ... He's out after all!
Prior c Haddin b Hilfenhaus 118 (England 609-9) A slight edge chasing after a very poor ball from Hilfenhaus, the heel of whose foot turned out after several replays to have landed maybe two millimetres behind the line

So this is England's highest-ever score in a Test in Australia. Dear me, what kind of world are we living in where the England cricket team are doing this? And they only need 267 for the highest score in any Ashes Test

WICKET! England 644 all out (Tremlett c Haddin b Hilfenhaus 12)

Tremlett tickles Hilfenhaus through to the keeper, and that's the end of a monstrous innings from England: 644 all out.
Six hundred and forty four all out. Six
hundred and forty four all out. Six hundred
and forty four all out, etc and so forth. And 418 of those for the last five wickets. Who needs flowery prose when you have numbers like that?

So here we are.

One way or the other, whether England win or Australia survive, this will probably be the last innings of the 'Can bat, can bowl, can field' tour. England should savour every moment of these five sessions, or however long it takes, because they may never experience anything as good as this again in their careers

WICKET! Australia 46-1 (Watson run out 36)

What a total shemozzle. Hughes turns Swann through mid-wicket; they take one and then Watson trots leisurely back for a second, completely oblivious to the fact that Hughes has not moved. Pietersen and Prior do the rest. What a daft way to get out, particularly because Watson was playing beautifully

WICKET! Australia 52-2 (Hughes c Prior b Bresnan 13)

Phil Hughes's excruciating innings comes to an end, although it took a very nice delivery from Bresnan to get rid of him. It bounced from a length and left him a touch as well. Hughes had to play in his danger area outside off-stump and got a thin edge to Prior, who just held on to the catch

Swann gets one to bounce nastily on Khawaja, who does extremely well to get on top of the ball and drop it short of the close fielders. He's getting an invaluable examination here, and he's handling it pretty wellPhotograph: Cameron Spencer/Getty Images

WICKET! Australia 161-5 (Hussey c Pietersen b Bresnan 12) What a gift just before the close. Hussey has cut Bresnan straight to backward point. He didn't get on top of the ball and it flew past Pietersen, who took a sharp two-handed catch above his headPhotograph: Reuters

WICKET! Australia 171-6 (Haddin c Prior b Tremlett 30) This is a snorter from Chris Tremlett. He rams in a superb straight short ball, the line so good that Brad Haddin can't get out of the way, and the ball loops up in the air off the splice, for Matt Prior to take a simple catch