Month: February 2015

This has been a weird week because not only have I had to do stuff at work, but also when I got home I've had to do stuff. You know those times I'm talking about. When you can't go home and immediately change into you sweats and melt into the couch with the remote and … Continue reading Tricky Bitter Giftures

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I'm getting a little tired of telling my kids to get to bed. Tired of telling them to eat their ice cream for dinner and tired of telling them to shower once a month, tired of telling them to bring me the remote control over and over again. I'm tired of them making me … Continue reading Bitter Time out for Adults

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Some people I know like to build Legos. Or rebuild engines. Or fix computers. Or put together furniture. Or mend relationships. For some reason, when they do these things, they think it brings some sort of order to the universe. It doesn't. What they don't know is that it brings something evil screaming into the … Continue reading The Bitter Owner’s Manual

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Every afternoon, I leave my crazy job for a little bit and go to the break room. I grab my smart phone and turn on the big screen TV and I watch that game show called Let's Make a Deal. You know, the one where people dress up like deranged lunatics on Halloween so they … Continue reading Glutton for Punishment Giftures

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Smart phones are useful because they do like more than one thing. They actually do like 3 things. They text (with your permission, of course) they run apps, and they run the internet like a mini-boss. If you have a cool smart phone and don't depend on it to ignore people on a regular basis, you … Continue reading Clothes need to start doing more

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I don't know if you've heard of this phenomenon called Facebook, but it's what they call a Social Network where you and some people you call "friends" become even closer as friends by connecting through a computer box. Here is what happens. You go to this website http://www.facebook.com and you fill out all kinds … Continue reading Bitteraffirmations

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There was a whole lot of things going on in the world this weekend. First, trending on twitter, people were anticipating my doctor's appointment, #excusetoleavealittleearly. FYI, I didn't die, so I guess things turned out alright. Then, there was that lame game night that was planned for the evening. You will be bitter to know … Continue reading 40 Years of Late Night Shenanigan Bitterness

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Back in the old days (pre-Benzoic Era 1973) people were polite when they decided that they didn't want to something anymore. People would write a nice note to their boss apologizing that they needed a little time off of work from the mines that they worked 18 hours a day 7 days a week. … Continue reading Rage Quitting Friday Giftures

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Some people (ie me) can get bitter about anything. Day or night, cold or hot, east or west, Monday or Friday, April or August. It's a talent for some of us, and something I think a lot of people really envy. I understand your jealousy, but I don't really care. There are times of the … Continue reading February – A Bitter Person’s Dream

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I know this topic is so out of date, that the fantastically bitter people of 2007 are snarling at me, but I think this topic has not had near the attention that the bitter community deserves. (By the way, a big part of bitterness is reliving the past and all the mistakes you make. … Continue reading More than meets the Bitter Eye

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Choose something for goodness sake! Chicken or fish! I don't know...fish is so terrible and chicken is really good, perhaps I'll go with...I just don't know! Do you wanna watch a comedy or drama? Let me see, should we laugh really hard for an hour and half or sit around bored trying to decide why … Continue reading Bitter Indecisiveness

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The other night, I was asked to perform the husbandly task of moving a box of something that was placed somewhere inside to a location outside. When it comes to being useful around the house (or anywhere for that matter) I am the Wally from Dilbert fame. I stealth in and out of situations be … Continue reading Bitter Daymares

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Some of you who were born before Bill Murray's Groundhog's Day movie came out in 1993 won't recall this, but before then, Groundhog's day was not known as a day that repeats itself, but a day that was famous for a rodent. Kind of like Disneyland. Let's be honest. When's the last time the hog … Continue reading Groundhog’s bitterness