Easy

Sunday, September 30th, 2007

Via New York Daily News, via Trying To Grok, via Wizbang, via Rick, we learn of a truthy article about Barack Obama — or more precisely, about his campaign. It’s fascinating because it mentions what everybody knows, and nobody else says out loud. And in case you missed it, spells it out for you in the parting shot at the end.

Looking for a date for Friday night? Want someone to read thepoliticker.com with and talk to about Eliot Spitzer’s fiscal policy late into the night?

Like-minded city singles are looking to tonight’s Barack Obama rally as more than just a politically charged soiree: It’ll be a raging pickup scene.
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Even the invite for the event reads like a singles bash:

“Hope hits the Big Apple! Join us at Jay-Z’s 4-0/40 Club on Thursday as we ride the winds of change from the hottest rally in New York. Move to the music, socialize with friends, and let your voice be heard as we celebrate with audacity.”
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One ardent Obama supporter (who declined to give his name because he works in politics) says he’ll attend both the rally and the after-party, and he doesn’t expect to be going home alone.

He’s confident for a reason.

“Let’s face it: Leftie girls are easy,” he says.

Ah…now, let’s be fair. It’s not so much about the donk girls being easy — although, it would be dishonest or foolish to dismiss that supposition out-of-hand. But as any experienced straight fella knows, and you don’t repeat this often in a co-ed environment: Methods work. Females of all political persuasions hate this, but truth doesn’t often deplore what the ladies deplore, much as they’d like it to. Methods work, guys who use methods are far “luckier” than guys who do not, and that nonsense about “eyes met from across the room, and we just clicked in a magic moment,” etc., has just about as much basis in reality as your average unicorn. When a lady says this, what she’s saying is that her paramour managed to think circles around her, to “fool” her if you will. Usually, with little or no actual deceipt, since when it works that well it means the damsel gave her tacit endorsement.

Simply put, the single fella has to have an angle.

Angles are arranged into families, just as species are arranged into phyla.

And the upshot is — this has been true since ancient times — there is no aphrodesiac more powerful than the “you and me against the world” thing. It ties in with just about everything on a maiden’s mind when she’s looking for a suitor. She’s programmed by the forces of evolution, or by God, or both, to make the world work the way she wants to work, through her uterus. She gets a vote, just one vote, on how the next generation is to molded and shaped, based on how she will splice her genes.

And so the appeal of a prospective suitor is equivalent to the appeal of the opportunity he brings. No opportunity is more appealing than the fleeting one, so the message is simple: We belong together, because you and I “get” a simple concept the rest of the world is too stupid to figure out. I’m the Adam to your Eve.

What is particularly embarrassing about this particular snippet to Obama The Walks-On-Water candidate, is that this superficial, utterly non-politics-related forum is going to work better with his events than with those aligned with any other candidate. Personally, I’ve done exactly this with the political movements on the other side of the aisle, many times. With mixed success.

It’s a little more complicated with rallies and candidates on the “right” side. The reasons why, are things I don’t wish to inspect closely here; they should be self-evident. If you don’t really care about re-shaping the world as much as you pretend to, and you just want something easy, the left side is the path of least resistance.

And you’re certainly not going to head down to a Hillary rally. I mean who knows, things might actually work out over a long term. What guy wants to spend half a century washing dishes by hand? Edwards is out, too. He’s a rich tort lawyer who has produced nothing, pretending to do battle on behalf of hard-working poor people, against rich people just like him. You have to be pretty stupid to fall for something like that, and when a woman is that stupid, she gets boring pretty quick. Hillary out, Edwards out. That leaves Obama.

As an added bonus, I would have to imagine the ladies there have been pre-selected for you. “You and I get it, nobody else does, let’s start changing what we both want changed without discussing what we’re going to change it to” — that’s Obama’s campaign theme right there. Anybody smart enough to see that one coming, isn’t going to be at an Obama bash.

It would have to be like some magical fishing trip, in which the fish jump into your boat. And somehow gut and clean themselves.

But if we can take a moment to inspect Obama’s political prospects and veer away from the dating scene for just a few paragraphs: This is why a lot of people don’t take him seriously. America, as a country, has a rich history and there is a core theme running throughout that history. In our culture, we do things the easy way for as long as we can…until it can be ascertained the easy way is going to be less rewarding than the hard way. And then, to our credit, we do things the hard way.

It is the shining jewel to the American crown. It is our schtick, you might say. We love our Starbuck’s foo-foo drinks and our big comfy air-conditioned cars and our water and dry-cleaning delivery services — but when you can get something over the long term by doing something tough, that you can’t get by doing it easy, we’re the first to see it and we are the most consistent in acting on it.

The countries all over the rest of the world cluck their tongues and call us stupid and talk about how much they resent us, and we just keep plugging away. What they don’t understand about us, after all, they’re never going to learn.

These single fellas showing up at the Obama rallies who just want to get their wickers wet, it seems to me, are emblematic of the Obama campaign as a whole. They want to do things the easy way, and are therefore “ardent supporters” of a campaign that is all about doing things the easy way. Ooh, we got a candidate who is the “real deal” and is articulate and well-spoken. Let’s get him elected and then figure out what he’s actually going to do.

So Obama, as a political phenomenon as well as a social one — means this: The destination is arbitrary, the ease of the journey is what truly matters.

This is as un-American as un-American can possibly be. It is antithetical to everything in our legacy that is significant and good. But I don’t say that to pass judgment on it, I’m just pointing out something about the very nature of the Obama campaign that dooms it’s chances and limits it’s life-expectancy. The plant is seriously mismatched from the surrounding soil. Obama has a commanding presence and can deliver empty platitudes just as well as anybody else, and is running for exactly the right office — in the wrong country. He’s a short-circuit, a traversing of the path-of-least-resistance, campaigning within a society that isn’t terribly wild about such things.

To recap: Yeah, we do like “easy,” as much as, maybe even more than, any other country on the globe. But we like to get things even more — be they easy or hard. We want to be assured we’re going to get everything the easy way, that we’d get if we did things the hard way. All Americans insist on this. Even our liberals insist on it. They just can’t see as far down the road as normal people can. The moment will come when Obama has to make those assurances, and that’s when his candidacy will end.

But in the meantime, I hope those horny guys get lucky. That’s about all they’re getting.

Well, speaking as an ex-moonbat with a good 20 years or so of true-blue Lefty experience…I can vouch for the fact that Leftie girls ARE easy(ier). At least that was my experience. Back in the day. And it doesn’t look like things have changed all that much.

As for Obama? My objection is singular: What, exactly, qualifies him to be president? One unremarkable term in the Senate? His Illinois political “career?” What? Say again: “What?”

I can vouch for this too…won’t name names, but I consider it a point of pride that the mattress continued to be pounded after I opened my right-wing, reckless mouth.

As to what Obama’s qualifications are, I’ve been able to learn personally about two. 1) He’s “the real deal” (Google hits at this time, 135,000 give or take). I’ve asked many an Obamamaniac what exactly this means. Nobody’s provided anything yet, substantial or otherwise. Not once. 2) A question I consider to be rhetorical: “Is America ready for a black President?” I say it is rhetorical because I’ve yet to see any of the questioners actually pursue this question, in any way. They seem to be inviting people around them to rush slobberingly forward and yell, “Oh, most definitely, yes!” Since nothing is actually being stated without an obligatory question mark afterward, it’s your call whether this qualifies as to what you’re looking for.

I don’t know of anything else. In the last several months I’ve seen Obama actually take some positions on issues, something which previously had been out of character for him. None of his fans have even gone so far as to assert they’ve been mournfully or painstakingly waiting for someone to come along and take such a position. I’m left with the conclusion that his real qualification for the presidency is that he’s a nice guy, and people don’t expect him to do anything out-of-line with their personal preferences once he gets in. That worked great last time we tried it, *cough* Jimmy Carter *cough*.