"Take it to your grave"

I attended a crusade last night and the World International Evangelist spoke and made a statement :- this woman had a love child with her elder but her husband does not know, she came to the pastor for advise on what to do. Should she tell her husband? or take it to her grave? She wanted the pastor to tell the husband but he refused and stated that she take it to her grave.

Spilling the beans would serve no purpose. If asked ... she should not lie about it. But bringing it up only brings un-necessary heart ache that can serve no useful purpose. She cheated. She needs to confess to God ... not man.

He wouldn't need any "closure" if he was not told about it. This way much grief would be saved. I don't see any reason to tell him if she does not feel a need to. She can be right with God if she confesses and repents to God.

If you want HER to suffer ... you are causing her husband to suffer at the same time. No need for anyone to suffer at this point.

Both sides make much sense. Good points. If I was married, and that happened, I could only imagine how some ppl who knew and I didn't would probably look at me as if I was some fool. Not that I care for what others think, I don't.. but things do have a way of coming around and surfacing. Tough tough question... I could settle for either or, on these positions for the good points brought up.

My mom would always say to be better behave myself because she would always find out if i did any thing foolish. Scared me to death growing up, always conscious that she would find out and many times she did - even caught me in the very act at times.

The devil gets us hooked or trap in a sin and then he exposed us to embarrass us. things have a way of coming out when we least expect or in a way we least expect. She must be in pain holding on to this secret, as women we know how emotional we are, it would slowly be killing us on the inside that we would have to tell someone. Exposing this right now would only cause pain and heartache to all involved, no matter her reason for having that outside relationship, its not justified, they is no reason for having an affair.

I am not qualified to answer your question because I do not know the whole story but would like to share a story...

DOCTOR, THAT PATIENT STINKS!” THE nurse complained to a busy Los Angeles radiation oncologist. She had been preparing the patient for treatment. “His hygiene is terrible,” she said. “I’ve been trying to clean him up, but there’s still a scabby plaque on his scalp that won’t come off.”

“OK,” the doctor replied. “I’ll give it a try.”

The patient had come in with festering sores, and much of his scalp was covered with a crust of dried pus, blood, and hair. The doctor worked on the area for a while, then gave up. “I’m putting you on antibiotics for a week,” he told the man. “Then we’ll figure out what we need to do.”

At the next visit, the doctor scrubbed the area using swabs and solutions. Eventually one corner began to loosen, revealing pus. But something didn’t seem right. The pus was moving!
“Aagh!” the doctor yelled, recoiling. The pus was full of maggots.

The doctor later commented that the patient took the news rather calmly. His wife was similarly unflappable, responding, “Oh, yeah. He likes to nap in our outdoor hammock. I told him I’d seen flies crawling on his head.”

Spiritual Hygiene
This disturbing true story carries an interesting spiritual parallel. The patient didn’t seem to care about the maggots because he was accustomed to living in filth. The maggots were there because the flies were there; the flies were there because the filth drew them and they were undisturbed; the filth was there because the man didn’t wash.

And why didn’t the man wash? Who knows? But daily hygiene would have made a world of difference.

Long ago God gave the prophet Jeremiah an invitation for Israel to return to a daily relationship with Him, as a repentant adulterous woman might return to her forgiving husband. “Return, faithless people,” He pled. “I will cure you of backsliding” (Jer. 3:22). Jeremiah grieved with the heart of God because Israel had fallen in love with the easy lure and filth of idols, rather than staying true to a loving, pure God.

Members of God’s chosen community had also become cavalier about the dishonesty in their lives. “If you can find but one person who deals honestly and seeks the truth, I will forgive this city,” God told Jeremiah in discussing Jerusalem (5:1). Apparently no one with integrity could be found in the city. Everything had become corrupted—full of maggots, so to speak.

“And my people love it this way,” God exclaimed to Jeremiah in disbelief (verse 31).

They had become so accustomed to the filth in their minds that they didn’t care.

But there was still time to clean up, to repent. “O Jerusalem,” Jeremiah begged, “wash the evil from your heart and be saved. How long will you harbor wicked thoughts?” (verse 14). Repenting and turning their thoughts toward the things of God would have given Israel health and immunity against the attacks of those intent on destroying them. It was not a difficult formula to follow.

The only way to turn one’s thoughts away from evil, he discovered, was to consciously turn them over to the searching gaze of God. “Search me, O God, and know my heart,” he pled, “test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Ps. 139:23, 24).

God continued sending messages to His people through the prophet Isaiah regarding the importance of pure thoughts. “Let the wicked forsake their way, and the unrighteous their thoughts,” He admonished. “Let them return to the Lord, that he may have mercy on them” (Isa. 55:7, NRSV). It was the same formula: repentance, plus the abandonment of evil thoughts, leads to a path that honors God.

We all struggle with the hygiene of thought in some area, perhaps in ways much different. The apostle Paul asked: “For what human being knows what is truly human except the human spirit that is within?” (1 Cor. 2:11, NRSV). If we are honest, each of us knows deep down that we’ve had thoughts in at least one of the categories of evils Jesus mentioned. And our minds don’t naturally purify themselves as we age. We all need David’s, Isaiah’s, and Jeremiah’s advice: “Repent. Turn from your wicked thoughts.”

Practical Strategies

So what are some practical ways to tend to our spiritual hygiene?

1. Repent. Give yourself completely to God. This is the first step. Doing it once is easy. Doing it again and again, moment by moment, day by day is the basis of building a relationship with God, rather than simply signing a contract and forgetting about it.

2. Cultivate a willing mind toward God. Be open to His leading; practice ways of bringing your mind back to Him during the day. This could mean using visual clues as reminders to think of God (such as when stopped at a red light, or when passing a church); pausing at habitual times to pray silently; or consciously watching for people who need your help. Be creative.

3. Wash daily. Just as the patient in the story needed to wash daily, we need to repent daily and reconnect with God. It’s called devotional time. Set it up. Keep your appointment.

4. Cultivate humility. We are all humbled by the stupid things we do, the ugly actions we dread admitting. Being humbled is not the same as cultivating humility, however. Cultivating humility means being willing to change when shown that we need to change, ensuring that dirt can’t build up again.

5. Avoid the dirt. Just as we avoid muddy puddles when wearing our best shoes, it’s wise to avoid evil thoughts when we’re well aware where they lurk. Collect some interesting, character-building topics to think about when tempted to return to thoughts that take you away from a righteous walk with God. As Paul suggested, “Set your minds on things that are above” (Col. 3:2, NRSV).

6. Ask for help. The man with the maggots could have gotten someone to help him stay clean. Our theoretical “Kelly” could seek some help from a friend or counselor in dealing with her critical and unforgiving spirit. The path of spiritual and mental purity is easier when traveled in the company of fellow pilgrims.

7. Check in with the guidelines. The apostle Paul offered these principles for guiding us in the things we think, say, or do: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8).