Day 234 of 365

It started out as a really happy relationship, was very smitten and it felt exciting and fun and I couldn’t see any faults. About 3 weeks in he admitted he cheated on me because it was early days and I was willing to forgive we stayed together, from then he never did a thing wrong and I believe he did really fall for me. After around 4 months things just started deteriorating, he became more secretive and aggressive and was constantly accusing me of cheating and doing things behind his back. At this point we broke up. We separated and I was speaking to someone new who treated me like a princess, he seemed really keen and silly me was being tempted by texts from my ex saying he missed me and wanted me back. I stupidly put myself in a position of getting back with him and still talking to this new boy, after time things were colliding and that boy found out and so did my boyfriend. I was devastated because I think I wanted to be with the boy but I was so confused on my feelings I went back with the one who treated me like shit. The day he found out he asked to meet me and he was questioning me, I wasn’t giving much and he slapped me, continuously if I didn’t answer him, throwing me to the ground and punching me in a public place, at this time in my life I was completely alone and literally was so isolated, we stayed together and as time went on he really got mad about everything. He took drugs and became very paranoid, on edge, impulsive and aggressive. This was all taken out on me. Many times after this I was hit and punched and thrown as well as a tone of emotional and mental abuse. I felt trapped, I pushed away everyone in my life even my mam. I was 16 and had nowhere to go or anyone to turn to, no one knew. One day it hit breaking point and he had cheated on me well over 20 times at this point and in the stir of an argument he threw me to his wall and I pushed him off me, shouting, he put me on his bed and began to strangle me, I cried my eyes out and for the first in my adult life said ‘I want my mam’. He burst into tears of regret and I walked out, after that day it took me about another month to completely remove him from my life, it had been a year at this point. I decided to be alone and safe than be alone and in a depressive, submissive and damaging relationship. From then it took me a year and a half to find my amazing partner now and to this day I have never gotten over it, I can sometimes think about it daily, he broke me and I let him do it.