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Please check my motivation letter for a PhD position

Hi everyone,

I am a new member of UsingEnglish.com. This forum is amazing and solves lots of problem!!! So I am writing because I need a revision of part of my cover letter for a Phd position in a scientific field... For me it's really really important and writing in English is not as easy as it was when I finished high school (I achieved the CAE 5 years ago...)!
So could you please help me with my cover letter??? Is the content ok??? Do you think there's something missing?

Here it is:

I am writing to express my great interest in applying for the PhD training program on [bla bla].

I studied biological sciences, from 2005-2008, at the University of [bla bla], where I obtained a bachelor's degree. Even if I was also interested in molecular biology and genetics, I have always been fascinated by the natural world. Therefore I decided to continue my studies and in two years I achieved a master’s degree in marine biology. I was really passionate about most of the subjects I have studied and I finished both my degrees with flying colors. Now I am really motivated in continuing my interest in scientific field and for this reason I expect that the PhD position will contribute enormously to my future research-career plans.
During my five years studies at the University, I was able to combine studies with work. I started being more independent at 14, when I decided to go to a boarding school. That was certainly the first experience that taught me how to cope with life and to be responsible of my actions. The five years I spent in the boarding school have made me more mature and taught me how to get along with people.
My first work experience was at the Aquarium of [bla bla]. At the beginning, I did a training period as part of my student’s studies, afterwards I obtained a project work because during my training period I proved myself capable, efficient and avid learner. I acquired work abilities in [bla bla]
Over the course of the following years, I worked in a biology laboratory where I became acquainted with biometric measurements of bivalves and data processing. I also had the possibility to work as a didactic operator in the Natural Marine Reserve of [bla bla] and thanks to this experience I have improved my social and organizational skills. Working with guys of all ages and with different backgrounds is not easy at all, but being able to teach them something that thrills you gives a lot of satisfaction!
During my master degree’s studies I had the possibility to do my thesis on bioacoustics and I became very interested in it. My research work is briefly described in my statement of research interests, which you can find hereunder. Thanks to this, in August 2010 I attended the Second International Conference on the Effects of Noise on Aquatic Life, where I had the possibility to present the following research poster “[bla bla]”, of which I am co-author and it aimed to illustrate the results of our ongoing research. This exciting experience has strengthened my conviction to become a researcher.

Re: Please check my motivation letter for a PhD position

I am writing to express my great interest in applying for the PhD training program on [bla bla].

I studied biological sciences, from 2005-2008, at the University of [bla bla], where I obtained a bachelor's degree. Though I was mainly interested in molecular biology and genetics, I have always been fascinated by the natural world. Therefore I decided to continue my studies and in two years I achieved a master’s degree in marine biology. I was really passionate about most of the subjects I have studied and I finished both my degrees with flying colors. Now I am really motivated to continue my interest in the scientific field and for this reason I expect that the PhD position will contribute enormously to my future research-career plans.

During my five years of study at the University, I was able to combine studies with work. I started to be more independent at 14, when I decided to go to a boarding school. That was certainly the first experience that taught me how to cope with life and to be responsible for my actions. The five years I spent in the boarding school made me more mature and taught me how to get along with people.

My first work experience was at the aquarium of [bla bla]. At the beginning, I did a training period as part of my studies; afterwards I obtained some project work because during my training period I had proved myself a capable, efficient and avid learner. I acquired skills in [bla bla]

Over the course of the following years, I worked in a biology laboratory where I became acquainted with biometric measurements of bivalves and data processing. I also had the opportunity to work as a didactic operator in the Natural Marine Reserve of [bla bla] and thanks to this experience I have improved my social and organizational skills. Working with people of all ages and with different backgrounds is not easy at all, but being able to teach them something that thrills you gives a lot of satisfaction!

During my master degree’s studies I had the opportunity to do my thesis on bioacoustics and I became very interested in it. My research work is briefly described in my statement of research interests, which you can find hereunder. Thanks to this, in August 2010 I attended the Second International Conference on the Effects of Noise on Aquatic Life, where I was able to present the following research poster “[bla bla]”, of which I am co-author and it aimed to illustrate the results of our ongoing research. This exciting experience has strengthened my determination to become a researcher.