Don't blame it on her short skirt, too much alcohol or sexy dancing. A woman is never "asking for it" if she is sexually assaulted or raped — and the same is true for men.

That's the message that Sally Rappaport, a Wesleyan sophomore, set out to spread last spring when she gathered fellow students and made a video of them dancing — each with their own personal style — to Lauryn Hill's "Doo Wop" with the words, "Not Asking For It" at the bottom of the screen.

"I wanted to address the issue of victim blaming," Rappaport said. "I realized this is an issue that so many have to deal with and they are not supported at all. … Something would happen to an individual and, of course, it's not their fault, but they would blame themselves and other people would say: This probably happened to you because you were doing X, Y or Z."

A few months later, and students at Connecticut College, Vassar, the Claremont Colleges, Columbia University and other colleges have followed her lead and made their own videos that are going viral, all part of "Project Not Asking For It."

"I'm thrilled with how it's spread," Rappaport said. "That was definitely the intent," and part of why she wanted to create a visual piece that was "easily accessible" as well as "compelling."

Wesleyan sophomore Sally Rappaport

STEPHEN DUNN, Hartford Courant

Wesleyan sophomore Sally Rappaport has produced an anti sexual assault video that features dancing students "not asking for it." The video has gone viral and prompted students on other campuses to produce their own.

Wesleyan sophomore Sally Rappaport has produced an anti sexual assault video that features dancing students "not asking for it." The video has gone viral and prompted students on other campuses to produce their own. (STEPHEN DUNN, Hartford Courant)

Concern about sexual assault — preventing it and how to provide help to those who have been raped or assaulted — has swept college campuses in the past year with a wave of federal complaints and lawsuits filed by students.

At Wesleyan, two high-profile lawsuits were filed against the school in recent years, alleging rapes at fraternity houses. Last spring, Wesleyan's student government called on the administration to force fraternities to go coed or give up their houses as a way to reduce sexual assault.

It was in that climate — amid heated discussion about the future of Wesleyan's fraternities — that Rappaport, who was a freshman last spring, decided that she wanted to embark on a project that didn't single out "a certain group," but rather addressed a problem that she sees as pervasive.

The effort was aimed at not only preventing sexual assault and raising awareness about it, Rappaport said, but as a support for victims, "people who are living with it, falling asleep thinking maybe it was my fault."

Student Activism Important

Alysha Warren, Wesleyan's sexual violence resource coordinator and a therapist, said the video has been "absolutely a positive discussion point for the campus. It really brings attention to stereotypes, forces conversations about who we find culpable. Often, we focus on the survivor as opposed to the actions of the perpetrator."

Darcie Folsom, director of sexual violence, prevention and advocacy at Connecticut College, where students made a similar video, said it has helped raise awareness and "the more awareness we can raise, the better."

She said the "activism of students" in the fight against sexual assault "is imperative" because students listen much more closely to their peers. "I think the culture has changed and no longer are people being silent about it," Folsom said. "Students are finding more and more ways to bring national attention to this cause."

Colby Bruno, senior legal counsel with the Victim Rights Law Center in Boston, said that she is seeing "grass-roots efforts like this pop up all over the country" and that they are "hugely important, no matter what the medium."

"The more students can be outspoken about their experiences, the more their colleges are held accountable for the policies and practices that they implement on campus," Bruno said. "The video is a terrific idea and one that can spread widely over a short period of time — that's the type of messages that we continue to need to progress in this movement."

Videos Vary, Message The Same

The videos vary somewhat from school to school, but each drums home the message of "not asking for it," with young women and men dancing in styles that range from sensual to goofy to gyrating.

Rappaport said she wanted to use dancing because it is "a central part of parties, in close quarters, a lot of bodies touch each other. ... I think it's a big part of college culture … and it's a source of a lot of these issues, even though it shouldn't be."

The written copy for the videos sticks closely to the "not asking for it" theme with some, like the Claremont Colleges' video, expanding on it with lines that say: "My booty poppin' is not asking for it," 'My reputation is not asking for it," and 'My intoxication is not asking for it."

At Connecticut College, Sophie Furman, a sophomore who made a video last spring, said she hasn't been sexually assaulted, but she's definitely "dealt with street harassment every day … not in college, but I'm from Brooklyn, New York, so walking the streets there, you can't leave the house without someone [cat]-calling…"

"The point is that people can dress sexy and people can dress in whatever makes them comfortable," Furman said.

Sarah Treaster, also a Connecticut College student who worked with Furman, said that if women are feeling sexual or want to "look risqué," it should not be considered "consent."

"You should be allowed to do that without others thinking you are asking for sexual advances," Treaster said.

Battling Victim Blaming

Too often, Treaster said, the social norm is for people to talk about the victim, not the perpetrator.

"I've probably heard my own parents: 'What was she wearing? Was she drinking?' Everyone in the society is so used to rape culture and to victim blaming."

Michael Pryde, another Connecticut College student who worked on the video, said he has seen situations through the years in which guys have misinterpreted a girl's signals. "The teenager's world is full of lots of mixed signals," he said.

But he thinks the videos and other educational efforts on campuses are opening up dialogue, so there is a much greater understanding of misguided assumptions and of what "consenting" to sex or other interactions means.

Rappaport said she is pleased to see people taking the video's message to heart. She's hoping to make another video focusing on "cat-calling," and how it can be "objectifying and alienating."

She is also from New York City where, she said, it's happened to her frequently. She's found herself at times thinking, "This is probably my fault," and then stopping herself. "No, it's not my fault. It's 100 degrees in August and I'm wearing shorts and it's not my fault."