Whitelaw Reid was the only voter who put Duke No. 1 last week. I ignored it because I'm kind. But now Whitelaw's done gone and went straight Whitelaw on us again, and I can't ignore him a second time. So welcome back to the Poll Attacks, Mr. Reid. It really has been too long.

Associated Press poll: Let's make this simple and just compare two resumes blindly.

----- Team A -----

Overall record: 24-6RPI: 6Record against the Top 50: 6-4Record against the Top 100: 14-5Wins over teams ranked in the latest AP poll: 2

----- Team B -----

Overall record: 25-6RPI: 16Record against the Top 50: 2-4Record against the Top 100: 8-5Wins over teams ranked in the latest AP poll: 0

Team A is clearly more accomplished, right? Team A has a better RPI, a better record against the top 50, a better record against the top 100 and two wins over schools ranked in the latest AP poll compared to Team B's zero wins over schools ranked in the latest AP poll. Team A is North Carolina. Team B is Arizona. And their resumes aren't even close, which is why the Tar Heels are ranked sixth and the Wildcats are ranked 16th this week.

Coaches poll: I doubted and discounted Cincinnati much of this season and applauded those who were with me. But at some point it's impossible to ignore the Bearcats' resume, and we reached that point over the past week when Cincinnati won at Marquette and then beat Georgetown. Yes, the win over Georgetown is a win over the Hoyas sans Chris Wright. But it's still a win that pushed the Bearcats to 24-7 and allowed them to finish sixth in a Big East conference that has seven members ranked in the latest coaches poll.

The problem?

Cincinnati isn't one of the seven.

Which is crazy considering the Bearcats have five top-25 RPI wins and zero losses outside of the top 35 of the RPI. Not to pick on Utah State, but the Aggies have zero top-25 RPI wins and a loss to Idaho (129th in the RPI), and they're ranked 17th in the coaches poll that doesn't rank UC at all. Again, that's crazy. And you'll see just how crazy next Sunday when the Bearcats get a better seed than Utah State in the NCAA tournament despite being ranked much lower in the coaches poll.

Alabama got zero votes in last week's Coaches poll. Then the Crimson Tide barely beat Auburn, lost to Ole Miss and ... got six points in the Coaches poll. Not sure how that happens. But it sure does make the Poll Attacks simple.

(Details of AP ballots courtesy of PollSpeak.com.) Associated Press poll: Florida is 22-6 overall, 11-3 in the SEC, ranked 14th in the AP poll, 14th in the Coaches poll and 16th in the Top 25 (and one). The Gators are 4-2 against top-25 RPI schools, 9-2 against top-50 RPI schools, 13-3 against top-100 RPI schools and in possession of a two-game lead in the SEC East.

And yet Izzy Gould from The Birmingham News left them offhis AP ballot.

But he's got Kentucky 15th and Vanderbilt 21st.

Which means he ranked two SEC East schools -- and neither of them are SEC East-leading Florida.

Coaches poll: If the NCAA tournament started today -- and it doesn't, so relax -- Alabama might sneak in as an at-large. Or it might not. The point is that it would be close, and if you're that close to missing the NCAA tournament in late February then you probably shouldn't be getting votes for a Top 25 poll ... especially when you're coming off a loss to Ole Miss.

Still, Alabama got six points in Monday's coaches poll.

And that's not even the strangest part.

The strangest part is that the Crimson Tide got zero points in last week's poll when they were 18-8 overall, 10-2 in the SEC. Then they barely beat Auburn and lost to Ole Miss, and somehow that convinced coaches to vote for them. Strange. Bottom line, Alabama shouldn't have been on anybody's ballot last week or this week, but it's impossible to omit the Crimson Tide last week and add them this week. And by impossible, I mean idiotic and inexplicable.

Pittsburgh has more wins, fewer losses, better wins and better losses than Arizona, and the Panthers have beaten five currently ranked teams while Arizona has topped zero. Still, Jerry Tipton and Myron Medcalf both have Arizona ranked No. 8 and Pittsburgh ranked No. 9. This is proof that it's possible to be a great beat writer and still slip on your Top 25 ballot every once in a while. They're wrong, but I forgive them. As for the coaches ...

Coaches poll: The Duke Blue Devils are No. 1 in the AP and coaches polls even though they have just one win over a fellow Top 25 team (North Carolina). Even though they have a loss to an unranked team (Florida State) and another by 15 points to a team (St. John's) that just broke into the rankings this week. Even though they are sixth in the RPI. And even though they are still projected as a No. 2 seed in the NCAA tournament by everybody who understands how to project such things.

So the top of both polls are silly.

But what bothers me most is Pittsburgh at No. 6 in the coaches poll.

I don't care if you rank by body of work or quality of play, there's no way to conclude that five teams deserve to be ranked ahead of Jamie Dixon's Panthers. As I told you earlier, Pitt is 24-3 with five wins over teams also ranked in the coaches poll -- specifically No. 5 Texas, No. 11 Georgetown, No. 14 Villanova, No. 15 Connecticut and No. 20 Syracuse. For the purposes of comparison, No. 1 Duke (25-2) has one win over a team also ranked in the coaches poll. No. 2 Kansas (25-2) has two. No. 3 Ohio State (25-2) has two. No. 4 San Diego State (27-1) has zero. No. 5 Texas (23-4) has five.

In the loss column, obviously, Ohio State is best. The Buckeyes' only two losses are at No. 8 Purdue and at No. 12 Wisconsin. They're the lone team with at least six wins over top-50 RPI schools and zero losses to schools unranked in the latest coaches poll, which is why I put Ohio State No. 1 in the Top 25 (and one). For the purposes of comparison, No. 1 Duke has lost to one currently unranked team (again, Florida State), No. 2 Kansas has lost to one currently unranked team (Kansas State), No. 4 San Diego State has lost to zero currently unranked teams and No. 5 Texas has lost to two currently unranked teams (Southern California and Nebraska).

Got all that?

Good.

Here's what it means: Texas might have comparable wins to Pittsburgh, but the Longhorns have worse losses (not to mention a loss to Pittsburgh). And Duke, Kansas and San Diego State might have better (and by better, I mean fewer) losses than Pittsburgh, but the Blue Devils, Jayhawks and Aztecs can't touch Pitt in terms of quality wins. Ohio State? Yes, OSU is rock-solid; that's why I have OSU No. 1. But it's difficult to justify having anybody besides Ohio State ahead of the Panthers, and it's impossible to justify having a total of five schools ahead of Pittsburgh.

That said, know this: Pitt would without question be a No. 1 seed if the NCAA tournament started today

So take solace in that, Pitt fans.

The selection committee is smarter than the men who vote in the coaches poll, I assure you.

Associated Press poll: I could tell you why the top of the poll is wrong, why the middle of the poll is wrong and why all sorts of other things are wrong, too. But the reality is that college basketball is a mess this season. Only a handful of teams are reliable, and it's reasonable to disagree on much of this stuff. So I decided to do something slightly different this week. I'm not going to debate anybody's order. I'm only going to highlight an insane omission from one ballot that is totally indefensible.

It's Louisville.

The Cards were left off Gary Laney's ballot despite A) a 19-6 record featuring wins over the teams he has ranked 14th (Connecticut) and 20th (Syracuse), B) the fact that Louisville is all alone in fourth in the Big East standings, and C) a 4-4 record against Top 25 RPI teams. Now that might not sound like much, I know. But it's worth noting that there are just 11 teams in the country with a Top 25 RPI and at least a .500 record against Top 25 RPI schools, and Louisville is one of those 11. That's partly why I ranked the Cards 14th in the Top 25 (and one), and it's among the many reasons why no logical voter should have Louisville unranked.

And yet Gary Laney from The Advocate has Louisville unranked.

He went with Alabama and Coastal Carolina instead.

Alabama is 8-8 against the Top 200 of the RPI. But Gary Laney has the Crimson Tide ranked 23rd and thus ahead of Louisville, which is 12-6 against the Top 200. Coastal Carolina? Well, the Chanticleers have only played two Top 100 RPI teams -- Georgetown and College of Charleston. They lost 81-60 to Georgetown and 83-67 to College of Charleston, meaning they're 0-2 against the Top 100 with a pair of losses by an average of 18.5 points. But Gary Laney has Coastal Carolina ranked 24th and thus ahead of Louisville, which is 9-5 against the Top 100.

I dare you to try to make sense of any of that.

Coaches poll: I started the Poll Attacks by explaining how and why I'm not going to debate order. So I'll stay true to my word and just make two points about schools that got votes that shouldn't be getting votes.

Utah State is 24th in the coaches poll.

That's silly for all of the same reasons I told you it was silly two weeks ago. The only thing of note that's happened since then is that the Aggies lost to an Idaho team that has a 14-11 record against a terrible schedule. In other words, Utah State shouldn't have been ranked two weeks ago, and its body of work has only gotten worse. Meantime, the coaches are still giving Minnesota four points in their poll, which is silly for all of the same reasons I told you it was silly last week. The only thing of note that's happened since then is that the Gophers have taken a home loss to a collapsing Illinois team. In other words, Minnesota shouldn't have been getting votes last week, and its body of work has, like Utah State's, only gotten worse.

Associated Press poll: There is nothing I hate worse than realizing one person did something dumb and then discovering the one person who did it is somebody I like. My heart sinks. But, as I've explained before, the Poll Attacks are loyal to nobody. So welcome back, Dave Jones, and I'd love to hear why you left Wisconsin off your ballot.

The Badgers are 17-5 and perfect at home. Their five losses have come by an average of just five points, they've lost by double-digits to nobody, and only one of the losses (at Penn State) is to a school that hasn't been ranked at some point this season. In other words, Bo Ryan's team has a rock-solid resume (that features a win over the Purdue team you ranked 16th) and is playing so well that KenPom.com actually has them projected to beat No. 1 Ohio State this weekend at the Kohl Center, which is why there's no way to justify not having the Badgers in the top 15, which is why they're 13th in the AP poll and 14th in the Coaches poll. So do me a favor, Dave. Get rid of Utah State or Cincinnati and add the Badgers next week (regardless of how they do against Ohio State). You do that and I can get back to focusing on dumb people I either don't know or don't like. Or both.

Coaches poll: I'll be the first to admit that ranking teams is tough these days when you get outside the top 20. Around there, we're all picking between average teams with average bodies of work. So I'm hesitant to clown the bottom of either poll. But ... Minnesota at No. 25?

Look, I used to love the Gophers, too.

Interesting roster. Great coach. Slashers, shooters, an explosive big. I watched them in November and saw lots of reasons to be excited. But I've also watched them in February, and I'm less excited about this team now because of what it's been doing lately. I ranked West Virginia, Marquette and UCLA, so Minnesota's seven losses aren't the problem for me, obviously. The problem is that they've beaten just one NCAA tournament team (Purdue) since Nov. 21 and lost three straight games (including a game to Indiana). Also: They have no real point guard.

Devoe Joseph transferred.

Al Nolen go hurt.

That means Minnesota is basically operating without two of its top three guards, and it shows.

Again, the Gophers have dropped three straight.

Why they haven't also dropped from the coaches poll is a mystery to me.

You want to know why more than half of the AP voters have Duke outside of the top five?

Because that's where the Blue Devils belong.

You want to know why one AP voter has Duke inside of the top two?

Because ... I have no idea.

But I appreciate Ron Morris doing it because it makes for an easy Poll Attacks.

Associated Press poll: Where would you rank a team that's A) suffered two losses to currently unranked teams, B) beaten zero currently ranked teams, C) gone 2-2 against four unranked teams in true road games, and D) been without its best player since early December?

Granted, this is better than last week, when Ron was the lone AP voter who had Duke ahead of Ohio State. But it's still wrong because the Blue Devils' resume wasn't worthy of a No. 2 ranking last week, and it sure isn't worthy of No. 2 ranking after Sunday's blowout loss at St. Johns. To prove this, let's compare the bodies of work of the school Ron has No. 2 (Duke) and the school I have No. 2 (Pittsburgh).

----- Duke -----

Record: 19-2Wins over currently ranked teams: 0Losses to currently unranked teams: 2 (Florida State, St. John's)Losses to currently ranked teams: 0

Now allow me to recap: Pitt has at least four wins better than any win Duke possesses, and Pitt has only one loss to a currently unranked team whereas Duke has two. So the Panthers have more wins than Duke, better wins than Duke and two losses that aren't as bad as Duke's two losses. And yet Ron has Duke No. 2 and Pittsburgh No. 4. I bet you a briefcase full of Charlie Sheen's coke that he couldn't possibly defend that order with anything of substance.

Coaches poll: We might find out in March that Utah State is the next Butler or George Mason or whatever, at which point this version of the Poll Attacks will look stupid. But for now the coaches ranking the Aggies 21st is what looks stupid.

What's it based on?

A bunch of bad victories?

The Aggies have played two legitimate basketball teams (BYU and Georgetown) and lost both games by an average of 11.5 points. Beyond that, they haven't done much of note. All 20 of their wins are against teams ranked outside of the Top 100 of the latest RPI, meaning Utah State is 0-2 against the Top 100 and 20-0 against teams outside of the Top 100. Congratulations, I guess. But where I'm from, that's not good enough. You want to be ranked, beat somebody. Because beating a bunch of nobodies doesn't do much for me. Again, if Utah State proves me wrong in March, I'll apologize. But for now the Aggies are just a team stacking wins against weak competition after losing their only two games against good competition.

Associated Press poll: Duke might be America's best team, might win the national title, might finish the season ranked No. 1. Who the hell knows? But voting the Blue Devils No. 1 right now is just as silly as voting anybody but the Blue Devils No. 1 in the preseason, because there's nothing tangible to back up such a vote. For the millionth time, the games have to matter. And by any measuring stick the only team that can be voted No. 1 right now is Ohio State ... unless you just love San Diego State. Honestly, I would not ridicule anybody for ranking SDSU No. 1 because the Aztecs are obviously good and possibly great, and there's no stain on their resume to hold against them. Want to hold their schedule against them? Fine. I'm OK with that, too. That's why I have the Aztecs fourth, because they do lack quality wins. But any defense of SDSU can start with, "Yeah, but nobody has beaten them," and that's an obviously difficult thing to counter. So I guess what I'm saying is that you can do whatever you want with San Diego State, and you'll hear nothing from me. Rank them first or fourth or eighth. I'm cool with it.

But what I'm not cool with is Duke at No. 1.

How can that be justified?

The Blue Devils do have a stain on their resume, specifically that 66-61 loss at Florida State.

Beyond that, Ohio State has better wins than Duke.

Seriously, take a look:

Number of Duke wins vs. currently ranked teams: 1

Number of Ohio State wins vs. currently ranked teams: 4

Duke's only win over a currently ranked team is a home win over No. 25 Michigan State. Meantime, OSU has wins over No. 16 Minnesota (home), No. 20 Illinois (away), No. 22 Florida State (away) and No. 24 Florida (away). So by AP standards, OSU has four wins -- three of which came on the road -- better than any of Duke's wins, and one of those wins is a 58-44 win over the Florida State team that beat Duke. So to recap: OSU is 20-0 with four wins over currently ranked teams while Duke is 18-1 with one win over a currently ranked team. And OSU easily handled the team that beat Duke. And OSU (this is probably worth noting, too) didn't lose its best player to a toe injury last month.

Knowing all that, how could anybody rank Duke ahead of Ohio State?

Answer: I have no idea.

But I'd love for you to email Ron Morris from The State newspaper in South Carolina and ask him.

Loved LaceDarius Dunn. Loved Quincy Acy. Loved Perry Jones. Loved the potential. But then the season began and Baylor started taking bad losses, and the Bears haven't done anything to offset them to date, which is why I can't comprehend -- neither can ESPN's Eamonn Brennan, by the way -- how some coach is still voting the Bears on his Top 25 ballot. The Bears are 13-5 with four losses to teams currently unranked in the coaches poll (Gonzaga, Iowa State, Washington State and Florida State) and one loss to a currently ranked team (Kansas). And their best win is a home win over unranked Oklahoma State. So while there might come a day when Baylor again deserves to be on a Top 25 ballot (I still like the potential of the roster), that day is most certainly not to day. So shame on the coach who voted Baylor 25th ... unless, of course, the guilty party is Baylor coach Scott Drew.

PITTSBURGH -- First things first: I'm sick as hell. Been coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose for three days straight, and it's awful. A normal person would've been to the doctor twice by now. But I'm an idiot. So I keep popping over-the-counter pills and assuming I'll be better in a few hours. But it's just not happening. I'm miserable, and I tell you all that not to invite sympathy. (Seriously, why would you feel sorry for me? I've got good insurance. I could go to the doctor if I wanted, but, like I said, I'm an idiot.) I'm just trying to explain that after waking up early Monday and doing some work, I popped two more pills and grabbed a quick nap. (Can you overdose on Theraflu?) When I woke, at least 10 people had emailed or Tweeted Jon Wilner's ballot my direction, which means his ballot is more ridiculous than five star dishes and different exotic fishes.

The Panthers are clearly good but ranked no higher than third on 64 of 65 AP ballots because they're 17-1 with a blowout loss to a six-loss Tennessee team, and because Ohio State, Kansas, Syracuse and SDSU all entered Monday undefeated.

To me (and to 64 of the 65 AP voters), this is easy: Pitt can't be No. 1 this week.

Just can't.

Not when perfect teams with quality bodies of work remain.

I ranked Ohio State No. 1 because the Buckeyes are perfect and they pass the eye test. Simply put, I think they're the nation's best team, and there's nothing on their resume (like, for instance, a loss to Tennessee) to suggest otherwise. But if you're really into the "quailty wins" gauge -- and you don't watch basketball at all, and you hate Jared Sullinger -- I can understand why you might not like OSU because the Buckeyes only have one win over a team also ranked in this week's poll (though I could point out that OSU has a dominating win over the Florida team that beat the Tennessee team that owns a dominating win over the Pittsburgh team that Jon Wilner has No. 1, but I don't like those kind of funny things so let's not worry with it).

So Jon doesn't like OSU because the Buckeyes lack quality wins.

I get it.

But then how could he possibly explain Syracuse?

Jon has the Orange all the way down at No. 6 despite the fact that the Orange are 18-0 with three wins over teams also ranked in this week's poll, meaning they pretty much match Pitt in terms of quality of wins but do so without the drag of a loss to Tennessee. So if nothing else, Syracuse has to be ahead of Pittsburgh, and, no, it doesn't matter what happens Monday night at the Petersen Events Center. What happens on a Monday night should have no bearing on rankings released Monday afternoon. That's common sense. So I don't have the slightest idea how Jon could come to the conclusion that Pittsburgh should be ranked No. 1 and Syracuse should be ranked No. 6, but what's even more baffling is Duke at No. 2.

Did Jon miss last week's loss at Florida State?

That counts, right?

I mean, you can't just ignore it and keep Duke ahead of every undefeated team, can you?

Anyway, that's the top of Jon's ballot.

The bottom is similarly silly.

But I'll let you decide if I'm right or wrong in that assessment.

Let's play Team A vs. Team B.

(You know you LOVE Team A vs. Team B!)

Team A is 14-4 with two losses to unranked teams and three wins over ranked teams. Team B is 14-4 with four losses to unranked teams and one win over a ranked team. Also: Team A and Team B have both played Georgia. Team A beat Georgia by six. Team B lost to Georgia by nine.

So, I ask, which team deserves the higher ranking?

Team A, right?

It's not even close, is it?

Team A has three times as many wins over ranked teams and two fewer losses to unranked teams.

Team A is Notre Dame, by the way.

Team B is Colorado.

Jon has Colorado 16th.

He has Notre Dame unranked.

And with that, I'm done with Jon (for this week, at least).

It's time to move on to my man Whitelaw Reid, a recurring character in the Poll Attacks. The good news is that he finally ranked Texas A&M (all it took was a 16-1 record with wins over Missouri and Washington). The bad news is that he only has Texas A&M at No. 22 -- otherwise known as 11 spots lower than he has Missouri (15-3 with a loss to A&M) and seven spots lower than he has Washington (13-4 wtih a loss to A&M).

Also ahead of Texas A&M on Whitelaw's ballot: Baylor.

Baylor is 13-4 with four losses to unranked teams and zero wins over ranked teams.

But Whitelaw has the Bears 19th.

He must like green.

Or something.

Coaches poll: I spent a good portion of last week's Poll Attacks explaining why Memphis cannot appear on anybody's ballot. Since then the Tigers have lost to SMU and had their second-leading scorer suspended, and yet there's still one coach voting Memphis 25th on his ballot.

Who's the coach?

I couldn't begin to guess.

But if said coach is reading, let me make this simple: The Tigers are 13-4. They've been routed by both ranked teams they've played (Kansas and Georgetown), blownout by the one bipolar team they've played (Tennessee) and beaten by one of the many bad teams they've played (SMU). Their best win is over a Miami team that's mediocre at best. Meantime, two of the three relevant veterans that were supposed to be on this roster heading into the season aren't current members of the team, and one of the McDonald's All-Americans fought a teammate, threatened another and is now at Ole Miss.

Got all that?

Good.

Now vote accordingly.

(It should be noted that Memphis did actually look better in Saturday's win over Marshall, which might suggest Memphis is better off without its second-leading scorer who was suspended last week. But that's another blog for another day. Rght now I've got another nap to take.)