Manchester United to bring in Harry Maguire - report

Good (?) news for Manchester United. After being subjected to the most gruesome central defensive pairing in modern football history, things will become potentially slightly less bad. Argentine tattoo platform Marcos Rojo has said he is ‘100% ready’ to return to first team action after his serious knee injury. He was looking less horrendous under Jose Mourinho than he had under Louis van Gaal and, let’s be realistic, an animatronic cat would be an upgrade on both Phil Jones and Chris Smalling, even if all the batteries were taken out, and the cat was on fire.