Collins And Maconie’s Hit Parade

ROUNDTABLE REINVENTED for the Smoking Jackets-era NME generation, with the titular deadpan-lyric-quoting-favouring duo presiding over ruminations on the week’s new releases from ‘Guset Critics’ like Caitlin Moran and John Harris, with weekly rants from David Quantick, most of them thinly-disguised torrents of abuse towards Paul Weller. Succeeded by virtue of featuring amusing and outspoken opinions of people who actually had some experience of discussing music for the entertainment of others, most infamously massed rubbishing of Blur’s Country House and Oasis’ Roll With It, the latter described by Quantick as “arty and clever in the same way some bricklayers building a birdtable out of bricks is arty and clever”.

I once completely confused Caitlin Moran by referring to her Roy Hay out of Culture Club joke, as debuted on C&MsHP, in online conversation. If I’d followed it by repeating verbatim her anecdote about seeing Van Morrison on a fold-up bike she’d probably have called the police.

I have a vivid memory of one edition of the Hit Parade ending with Maconie announcing he was hosting Mark Radcliffe’s show (which was on next), and asking Collins whether he wanted to join him. Cue a bit of business involving the pair “walking” from the Hit Parade studio into Radcliffe’s studio, i.e. from London to Manchester and from being on tape to broadcasting live.

I loved that show and have especially fond memories of the Quantick’s World segment. He did slag off Paul Weller but I most remember him slagging off Morrissey because I was and am the kind of Morrissey fan who will defend my hero to the hilt and felt much confusion of loyalties at the time because DQ was clearly so right about everything pop music but so wrong about the artist I loved.