in the future where we're all social justice-y Cribb can ride down the street to pick up some raw milk from Coles on a motorised esky while smoking meth, firing an RPG into the air, and carrying the case of British-import Stella he's polygamously (and privately) married alongside a genderfluid Zambian businessperson and a coke-snorting 18-year-old cyborg girl.

Last time we won a test in Sri Lanka - wasn't it a close first innings before Fleming and McMillan put on a huge partnership? McCullum and Franklin this time.... same left-right combination, similar names, and the "F" tall and left handed, the "Mc" shorter and more aggressive. History repeating.