Amp Up That Lip Hair With a Mustache Transplant

Today marks the end of Movember, which sucks. Come tomorrow, our upper lip bushes will no longer be a symbol of our manliness, but rather a suggestion we're one of those creepy dudes who hangs in the dark corner of the strip club in jorts and a leather jacket.

If you're one of those unlucky dudes who struggles to grow a decent flavor saver like Scott Spiezio's t sucks even more, because Movember has probably left you looking like a pre-pubescent middle schooler. If that's the case, we have awesome news! Mustache transplants are now a thing that exists for some reason!

Over in the Middle East, substantial 'staches are traditional symbols of wisdom and high status. It's like the equivalent of greasing your hair back and wearing a stupid pocket square in America, except mustache growers look way creepier. It turns out tons of guys struggle in the whisker department, so they're turning to mustache transplants to amp up this whiskers.

The procedure costs around $7,000, and you'd probably have to travel to France or the Middle East to get it done. If it means we"ll have bushier upper lips and bear a striking resemblance to Tom Selleck circa 'Magnum, P.I.,' sign us up. We also hear women are particularly fond of the conquistador look, so there's that. Where'd we hear that? Not important.