Aunt Jemima, who Ain't Yo Momma, is a noted abolitionist, feminist,and religious figure. According to the 2020 census, over 15,000 people claim themselves to be Jemima's Witnesses, not to be confused with gangstas. Aunt Jemima needs witnesses because she is black, which means she MUST be Monique John. She has recently been engaged to Uncle Ben. Several people in the Himalayas see Aunt Jamaima as a demi-god.

Born in 1776, she fled north to escape slavery, initially taking refuge in a maple forest in Soviet Canuckistan. There she was to discover the sap which was to serve as the base for the first maple syrup products.

Unfortunately, this discovery proved to be useless until crêpes were invented 11 years later by former Canadian prime minister Jean Poutine. Jean Poutine had terrible diarrhea, so now they are outlawed in Canada.

Aunt Jemima is also rumored to have been Bill Clinton's mistress, while Mr. Clinton was in the office. It is also rumored that Jemima and Bill Clinton have an illegitimate child, who may go by the name Kanye West.

It is also a proven fact that Aunt Jemima had an affair with Hillary Clinton after Bill's presidency . When Hillary is not on the campaign trail, she and Jemima spend weekends in Vermont with their 6 adopted children, Flapjack, Flapjean, Flapgeorge, Flapthomas, Flapperz, and Flapmaybelle, also known as the little darklings.

To make Aunt Jemina, one must go back in time, find both of Aunt Jemina's parents, and persuade them to make love to each other. Fried Chicken and Grape Soda may be of assisstance.

The original Jemima prototype, after a rampage of terror, was finally taken down by the Terminator in the year 2036 when he managed to sneak behind it while it read it's favorite novel "Chemical Magics For African Hair". It's outer rubber skin was removed and the "Off" switch was finally switched, ending the saga of Jemima's reign, which was caused in the first place by a large amount of dried maple syrup powder sucked into-side of the Jemima's circuitry through nasal inhalation.

Aunt Jemima The Fourth AKA The latest perfected model of Jemimas [not available for public purchase] is set to play the lead in the motion picture, Big Worm co-starring Rue McClanahan and Johnny Depp. With a new orchestral score by Tay Zonday.

Until 2008 Aunt Jemima went by the alias Dorothy Dodson. She pretended to be an English teacher at Butler Sr. High School, however she was secretly dealing crack to fund the Black Panthers.