Two Wheels. One Dark Lord.

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Yeah whatever humpday post

Billy Penn is a fat quaker bastard. For real. Fuck him. Philly now pegged at one hundred seasons and zero championships. Since 1983.

Shoot me.

At least I’m not using the seat belt to hold the beer while my kid crawls around in the foot well of my car. No, I’m a class act. I leave ’em home with Mom and ride my bike to get beer.

Actually, that isn’t entirely true. Sometimes I pick up beer when I get the groceries on Sunday.

But I can say I’m not wasting my time trying to run across the tops of a bunch of portable shitboxs.

From: Skippy
Subject: Running of the Urinals
This one’s right up the DC alley. Apparently, this is as big or bigger than the horserace where it takes place (The Preakness). Found this while clicking through SI’s Hot Clicks today and had to pass it on. I’m sure there’s plenty more of this on You Tube. Enjoy.

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be running across the tops of any porta-potties like that. But I’m damn sure I’d be throwing cans like a mother fucker.

Bring it down like rain.

Now, if you want to carry beer, do it like my girl Lopo. She’s 100% class.

Friday, I just decided to run a bunch of errands. I hooked up the BOB and went to it. First to grab dog food. Then to the store. I paid off some co-workers with beer as thanks for working my shifts this week. I found that I can carry 2 twenty-four packs of PBR and 1 twenty-four pack of Ranier in the BOB without any problem. The Surly stayed stiff and didn’t really flex much. Surly. What a great name.

More in the “good time video” category to follow. This one is 100% nuts. Someone has a lot of time on their hands: Spray paint the walls.

This man gets it, has got it, might even share it if you ask ’em nice:

I’ve likened riding a bike to a psychedelic experience, lactic acid and calcium leaks instead of strict 9, because your senses sharpen and you take in so much more of your surroundings. The most mundane route by car becomes a hyper-sensory experience on a bike. You have cars to negotiate, sewer drains to watch for (if the grates run parallel to your route, watch out!), gravel and glass, not to mention pedestrians or unleashed dogs. The most gratifying part of the experience is how the most frustrating and stressful part of the day becomes a release.

…All of these experiences, I submit, are superior to whatever effects you may get from drug use. Read the rest here: americancrackpot.blogspot.com

Four police officers who were caught on video beating three suspects in a drug-related triple shooting will be fired, Police Commissioner Charles H. Ramsey said Monday.

Three other officers have been suspended, Commissioner Ramsey said at a news conference, and one officer has been demoted.

The disciplinary action follows a two-week investigation of the May 5 beating, filmed by a television news helicopter, in which the three men were dragged from their car and then kicked and punched by as many as 15 officers in the Hunting Park section of North Philadelphia.

…D. Scott Perrine, a lawyer for one of the men, Pete Hopkins, 19, said the disciplinary action “falls far short” of the appropriate response, which he said should be criminal charges of aggravated assault for the officers involved.

“The only reason these people are not in handcuffs is because they are police officers,” Mr. Perrine said. “They behaved like a pack of wild animals.” Read the rest: nytimes.com

It’ll make you crazy if you let it. Kinda like this next one:

From: Graeme
Subject: You couldn’t make this s**t up……
Don’t know if you’ve followed this story about the Formula One chief, but it keeps getting better…….and not even Le Carre could come up with this twist…….timesonline.co.uk

Following it, no. But I heard about it all right. You gotta love it when a 67 year old man has both the means and the stamina to get tied up and beat down by five hookers.

About big jonny

The man, the legend. The guy who started it all back in the Year of Our Lord Beer, 2000, with a couple of pages worth of idiotic ranting hardcoded on some random porn site that would host anything you uploaded, a book called HTML for Dummies (which was completely appropriate), a bad attitude (which hasn’t much changed), and a Dell desktop running Win95 with 64 mgs of ram and a six gig hard drive. Those were the days. Then he went to law school. Go figure.
Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

…man, this post is bookended by stories of cycling sadness, so i’m gonna frickin’ air it out a bit…

…that means that despite a pinch (& only a pinch) of empathy for jonny cuz of his downtrodden philly teams, i’m loving seeing the flyers crying their way around 18 holes instead of ‘flyin’ on the ice…never have, never will & simply can’t dig the team that gooned up hockey back in the days of ‘hammer’ schultz & clarke-y…FORE !!!, motherfuckers…

…re: the running of the urinals…hey, if they ban horse racing as inhumane treatment of animals, that dude will be the first pro in a exciting new sport…

…lopo: one surly beer drinkin’ chick…

…“i’ve likened riding a bike to a psychedelic experience…absolutely no doubt, dude…it’s always been a ‘windowpane’ to my soul…ride to live…live to ride…

…not to be ‘insensitive’ but the philly cops thought they were the fucking hockey team…& they lost too…

…& beauty of beauties…i been following F-1 since i was 8 years old & max mosley, well whoa, that is a statement !!!…it’s not that he was getting the ‘ground & pound’ by five brit hookers…a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do…it’s not the ‘veddy’ british class of sipping tea naked w/ his dom’s at the end of activities…
…but the fact that the dominatrixes (plural spelling ?) wore nazi regalia while the ‘victims’ wore prison striped outfits ALONG w/ the fact that max’s old man, the beknighted sir oswald mosley was the leader of the wartime “british fascist party” seriously sez something about how the british “rear” their children…

One reaps what one sows. Sometimes, even if you sow badly. Mosely, seeds didn’t fall far from the tree. Silly goof ball thinks he can rationalize this away like he did his father’s life of fascism. Truly proving the theory, ‘Some people’s kids!’