Monday, August 31, 2009

Single and Moved

Well here it is.

My new life.

I moved basically everything yesterday with my parents and two of my friends helped. Thank god, because T didn't want to take any of the furniture, so I had to take everything except the TV and a small dresser. So the truck that we rented wasn't quite big enough but we managed to fit almost everything in the truck and our cars.

What a disaster... Now I have to go back there and clean tonight so I can potentially get my money back from the landlord, who is in hate mode for me now because I didn't give her that much notice in the move. Sorry lady, it was unexpected -- I wasn't totally planning to move!

I dont ever want to say "i know" and i dont ever want to hear "ull be okay" again ..... or "i know, but ull be okay" LOL sara.

Crazy.... T came back yesterday when we were moving my stuff. So awkward. I gave him my letter, hopefully he reads it. That would be nice. I mean, if he wants to call me and talk sometime soon, I am all for it. I do not want him cut out of my life forever... i still love him so much. It's just right now we would never work. There is too much stuff against us that shit just keeps getting fucked up and maybe this is for the best. Who knows... I dont. Im just going day by day and seeing what happens next. No clue.

I haven't lived at home in 7 years and I haven't been single for more than like a month in more than 4 years. Holy crap..........

I really didnt want to move home. I looked at different homes in the area, specifically Ryan Homes, and really ended up liking them a lot. Now I am in need of a roommate.

If only I could pick and move far away instead of moving back home with my parents. I would find a new home start fresh and work at creating the best life possible for me. During some of the worst points of this break up I'd pretend house hunt and imagine a new life. My favorite homes were always from Ryan Homes. They have homes for sale in warm sunny places, how couldn't I be happy starting a new life where it's always sunny? Hopefully buying a home is along the next steps in my life instead of renting.

29 comments:

I don't want to sound like a Pollyanna here, but I really think that this next phase of your life is going to be great! I know that you're feeling bummed and blue, but I think that big changes can lead to big discovery about yourself (at least that's been my experience). You're a smart, talented person, and I know that you'll come through this as an even better person than you are now!

I haven't been single since I was 17 so I have no clue what to tell you. All I can say is that I am glad you made the best decision for yourself, and you will figure things out day by day. PS. your AMAZING!!

Here's what I've discovered (not to be that annoying person that assumes every life lesson they learn applies to everyone else) but... it takes a lot more work to be single sometimes than to be with someone. It's a strange thing to be alone with yourself and be ok with it. But, my advice to you on how to be single? It's pretty simple really... BE SINGLE. Make the decision to just hang with yourself for a bit and be open to what you discover. I mean hell... I've rescued a dog, written a lot more than I did before, and have all around been a lot more productive... I've tried to see more friends and tried to work on me for a while. A lot easier said than done, but still, it feels pretty worth it in the end... I'm thinking of you (really!) and hoping that this next season of things will be a graceful one for you.

I think being single means you can drink as much wine as you want whenever you want and not shave your legs if you don't want to! And maybe it means going on dates and having someone else pay for your dinner from time to time as well! You don't have to please anyone but yourself right now. Good luck!

girly, I think you'll do just fine. I mean all I can suggest is not jumping into a new one so quick and just have fun. Take your own quality time, hang out with friends, occupy yourself with interesting activities and have fun as much as possible. Prioritize yourself right now :)

I think sometimes it's not that we *forget* who we are when we're in a relationship, it's that we never figured it out the first time. When a relationship ends, it is an opportunity to discover ourselves. So many women don't take this opportunity...they let it pass by and quickly find someone new. I dated a lot when J and I broke up, but it was for self-discovery only...not to find a relationship (the MOST a guy got was two dates...then on to another).

I discovered so much about who I am, what I want, what I need, what I can compromise and what I would *never* compromise. I set some rock solid boundaries and my life changed forever.

We ended up getting back together, but he had a totally different woman on his hands...this time, it was one who loved herself so he could love her back.

I think the most you can do is take it day by day. Life's a lot different than you expected it to be, so take full advantage of being single, having a few extra bucks in your pocket (because you'll be without rent) and try to enjoy it. That's likely not easy to think about, especially after a breakup, but having fun is the best cure.

Well crap. I had a whole comment typed out & then I accidentally closed the window before I published it. =P

I won't even try to recreate. Just know that there will be good day & bad days and however you feel, just let yourself feel it. There's no right or wrong way to "learn" to be single. I hadn't been single since I was 17 (two six-year relationships). Come to find out, it was kinda nice to do what I wanted, figure out what I liked, cater to my own needs without considering someone else in every little thing. But that doesn't make this process any easier or more fun. Just be kind to yourself. =)

I know when you have a break-up everyone tells you the same things and you get sick of hearing them, so I'll just say I think you're going to do great! You definitely are entitled to your happiness. It's you time :)

Not to be a downer, but if you admit that it sucks first, it'll help you wrench all of that bad emotion out until you get it out of your system. Seriously, vent if you need to -- us readers aren't going anywhere.

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"Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don't be sorry." -jack kerouac

About Me:

I am a mommy to be (in June!), a newly married army wife, and a 5th grade English teacher in New York City. I am learning everyday about my new life and trying to share the best (and worst) of my experiences along the way. Enjoy!