"When I heard the offer to create more episodes of Last Man Standing, I did a fist pump so hard I threw my back out," says Allen, a manly man

Share this:

Last year, ABC canceled Tim Allen’s Last Man Standing, a toothless, boilerplate ABC sitcom that, due to Allen’s own conservatism and support of Donald Trump’s presidency, gave the “facts don’t care about your feelings” political right more reasons to hoarsely bellow into the abyss. Well, all that whining has paid off, as Fox has decided to revive the show in the wake of cancelingBrooklyn Nine-Nine, The Mick, and Last Man on Earth.

Allen and Nancy Travis have both signed on to return, as have co-stars Jonathan Adams, Amanda Fuller, Christoph Sanders and Jordan Masterson. A return date and episode count has yet to be determined.

“Last Man Standing ended too soon and the outcry from the fans has been deafening,” said Fox’s Gary Newman and Dana Walden in a statement. “We’ve wanted to put the show back together since its final taping a year ago, and Tim never gave up hope either. Thanks to its millions of devoted viewers and the irrepressible Tim Allen, we haven’t seen the last of Last Man Standing.”

ABC claimed the show’s cancellation was due to a pricey ownership structure and the costs associated with renewing Allen’s about-to-expire contract. Allen, like every other conservative, instead chose to blame them damn left-wing snowflakes. “[T]here is nothing more dangerous, especially in this climate, than a funny, likable conservative character. He is mitigated on the show by a family of women who had a difference of opinions, but [Mike Baxter] was a likable guy and a principled guy about work and ethics and all this stuff.”

Now, Allen has responded to the show’s revival with a new statement, and buckle up because this thing is a goddamned nightmare.

“Excited? Team LMS was in the sixth inning, ahead by four runs, stands were packed and then for no reason, they call off the game. It leaves you sitting in the dugout, holding a bat and puzzled. Now we get the news from Fox that it’s time to get back out on that diamond — hell yes, I’m excited! When I heard the offer to create more episodes of Last Man Standing, I did a fist pump so hard I threw my back out. It’s the fans! I could not be more grateful for the fans who wrote petitions and kept up the passion and incredible support for the show. And a fist pump, ouch, for Dana Walden and Gary Newman at Fox for not only listening to the fans, but for making the bold move to bring Last Man Standing back. I’m sure audiences will be curious to see what we look like after all these years. Oh, has it only been one year? Well, just goes to show you — a lot can happen in a year.”

(exhales)

Well, he’s right on that last point. Conservative sitcoms are back, baby. The massive success of the Roseanne revival drew huge numbers, and we’re sure that was due solely to Roseanne Barr herself being a Trump supporter and not because it’s a reboot of a wildly popular, zeitgeist-defining television show that ran for nine seasons.

We’re sure you’ll all enjoy the one where Allen grunts when his son wears a pink shirt or something.