Things happen and people change. Not at once. There is not a split moment that makes people change, like cracking a code.

A choice, a situation, a person, or circumstances can change people gradually overtime. People break differently. Souls are like glass. Glass can be glued back together as one, but it doesn’t necessarily look the same. People are like that. When souls break, bruise and scar, people do not act the same, they do not think nor move in the same manner. Even after they find peace and happiness, even after they become stronger and more content than before. Some however don’t.

You will see a difference in the way they talk, the way they move, and their behavior. You will notice the shield in every word they utter. Maybe this is evident through how they have become more cautious of people, and maybe it caused them to become more giving and loving. They will see the world differently, you will know if somebody, anybody, perhaps yourself has gradually been changed by circumstances or people. Humans are moving beings. There is nothing inanimate about us, nothing. Our minds expand, our emotions change and mature, our abilities increase. Even our skin, hair and bones ages. Nothing within us was created to be still, and inanimate. Even when people become deceased our bodies are going to decompose, it will adapt to the reality that you no longer are alive so it decays into nothing but bones.

SO how do you expect you, who is alive and breathing, thoughts processing and wandering, and emotions like water, to become still? To not evolve, and not adapt to your circumstances. It wouldn’t make sense. What we are changes through the different stages of our lives. Who we are changes because of what happens to us, the people we meet and even how we overcome these circumstances. You will not always remain the same, and if you do, then you are resisting change, and even that has a change in your circumstances and fate, it has consequences. Humans are creatures that need constant growth and change to know and be better, and that requires big waves to shake us into whatever we are being prepared for. The wave will not drown you, unless you fight it, it will merely push you to the shore of a new island. You will learn how to defeat the wave. Be careful though. You do not become still you not stop fighting. You do not let it overpower you and drown you.

“People say to you, ‘you’ve changed’, or something like that, well, I hope, for the sake of God that you have changed, because I don’t want to be the same person all my life. I want to be growing, I want to be expanding. I want to be changing. Because animate things change, inanimate things don’t change. Dead things don’t change. And the heart should be alive, it should be changing, it should be moving, it should be growing, its knowledge should be expanding.” – Shaykh Hamza Yusuf

it’s been a year today since i posted my first blog on here . It has been a while since I have written anything on here. It is quite odd when I think about how fast time goes. One minute time feels still and the next you wonder where it went. I am stuck between those two parallels now. I’m learning that you cannot always get into defense mode whenever life decides to slap you.

Okay..Maybe I deserved that slap, maybe that slap is steering me from taking a permanent leap into something that would otherwise leave me with more than just a headache. Who knows? My mother would always tell me growing up, that when something bad happened it meant that god was steering me away from something worse. In other worse, things could always be worse no matter how bad they are. So I guess it’s safe to say that in the midst of my stress I have learned to stay grateful. Gratitude can change your whole mindset. Trust me, it has changed mine. If I am stressing over a job, I remember just how blessed I am to have it in the first place. If I am studying too long and the pressure to attain the perfect grade is overpowering my brains ability to even function; I remember just how privileged I am to be in a that very position. The fact you even have a roof over your head and food on the table is a privilege. I would like to think it is basic human rights, but when too many people are without that right, it becomes a privilege for us.

I just wanted to take a moment to remind whoever is reading this that whatever you are going through. Take a moment. Cry if you have to, take a deep breath and exhale and maybe even scream your lungs out if that is what works for you. Whatever it is you will be okay. Think of whatever you are feeling as a passing stranger. Think of whatever you are going through as being a teacher. Like the Mean teachers in Primary school who you was convinced had it out for the world, or maybe that mean auntie that is a walking camcorder, recording all your personal affairs only to share them with the rest of your relatives. They are there for a short time, but they are only there for as long as you let them…(Except that auntie..you are kind of stuck on that one mate…sorry). Everything is a teacher. Let it teach you. If you do not learn from it I have a feeling it will return.

You need to train your mind to think in a positive light, to stay grateful. Gratitude is like a magnet for good luck. Notice how the more you become grateful, the more you become appreciative thus leading to happiness. Ultimately that is what we all want. Happiness. I know I know. Easier said than done. But what have you got to lose? No really, what have you got to lose? Nothing right? Absolutely nothing. You are down. You are not going to stay down. You feel down? you will not remain feeling that way. Time passes, emotions are not constant. Smile through the pain. Fight through the struggle.

Patience and gratitude are two ingredients that will only contribute to your life. They have gotten me through more than I could imagine. Remember every morning to be thankful for the fact you are alive, breathing and in good health. Just take a moment to appreciate this and smile. Start your day with this mind-set and I challenge you to keep it throughout the day. At the end of your day take another moment to just appreciate that you made it, you made it through whatever you was fighting against, outside trials as well as those you are battling within.

I am not telling you how to live your life, I just want you to know, that you matter more than you think you do, and things always seem worse than they are. You will be okay, just you wait and see.

‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]. (Quran; 14:7).

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To truly know ourselves we must also admit that we do not truly know ourselves. We are constantly growing, evolving and changing. It is not always easy to stay in touch with who we are. I have highlighted 4 things that taught me about myself as a person.

Spend time with yourself.

“You need to know things the others don’t know. It’s what no one knows about you that allows you to know yourself.”- Don DeLillo, point omega

Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert spending time alone is vital. One thing i have learned all these years is that, the more I am more in synch with myself and the universe, the more I started to appreciate my inner being. When you know yourself you are aware of your being, your strengths and weaknesses, what makes you happy and what doesn’t. This is significant because when you have this power nobody can tell you who you are. You are not in doubt, you will know that you have a power of knowledge about yourself. You will get affected less by others negativity and even opinions. Ultimately you will know what you are capable of and even if you don’t, your instinct will guide you in life. Spending time alone has encouraged me to give myself a timeout to listen to my own thoughts and learn about my needs and wants. You start to not get drowned out by distractions and you learn to know your inner voice. Time alone will encourage you to not lose yourself in this chaotic world, and not get overwhelmed by emotions and thoughts you hadn’t given yourself the time to deal with.

Don’t try to create an identity, just build yours.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” – Oscar Wilde

In this world it is a fundamental importance to build a solid identity and you do not have to do that by conforming to a small label already created for you or conformed by millions of others. You do not need to change yourself to fit more into a crammed category to belong. You need to just be. Not become original or different. Just be yourself and you have already achieved that. You don’t have to prove to everybody that you meet, you are an original.

If i could be able to count with my hands the amount of times i heard. “I’m different.” I’m pretty sure i would have more hands than an octopus arms multiplied by ten. Come on guys! That in itself screams Cliche. I would hate to say we are getting too predictable as human beings but…(sips tea). This is why we see comparisons rising, we have this fanatical competition going on inside our heads stemming from our lack of identity and not feeling strong in whom we are. Your uniqueness is not taught regardless of what the media is showing you. You just need to build on who you already are as a person and progress towards greatness without a mask. show the world exactly who you are, and as you are.

Challenge yourself

“I don’t run away from a challenge because I am afraid. Instead, I run towards it because the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your foot” – Nadia Comaneci

I only started to know myself better when I started to finally challenge myself. It is not always an easy thing pushing through our comfort zones. Someone once told me that being comfortable means you are not growing. When I was eighteen I had made the decision to not go away for university because of my bad anxiety. I just feared the unknown and shivered at the thought of moving away towards the unfamiliar. i settled for a course that i felt emotionally obligated to study. The truth is, the decisions we decide to not make has just as many consequences as the ones we do make, if not more.

Later that year i had finally decided to change my course and applied for a university as far away from where i lived as possible to challenge myself. Things worked out and i had just recently moved back home after my graduation. I have experienced three years of trials and tribulations along with the most amazing experiences Ever. I met so many different and anazing people. I sometimes wonder if I hadn’t taken that leap of faith, and dropped out of my first course and university where i would be now. maybe i would have graduated with a degree I didn’t even want, and never gained the sense of independence i have now. I would most likely be a different person now. If i hadn’t had those experiences. Who knows? Maybe my anxiety would have continued to keep me chained.

Challenges are there to remind us that we are both human but also that the unknown is never as scary as you believe. Fear is dangerous. It is what forces people to stop evolving, to avoid to live. We are human beings, our minds are supposed to expand, our characters are created to be tested, and it reminds us of our ability and strength when we forget. I would urge anyone to push through the unknown and fear, to challenge ourselves in life.

I have started to challenge myself everyday doing something which will force me out of my comfort zone. When I feel scared to do something, i do it regardless, and i promise you that it is rarely as scary as it seems. These challenges in life teaches you a lot more about yourself than you can imagine. It tests your limits and your learn about your abilities. There is nothing better than being told you cannot do something and you find out that you can….actually wait! CORRECTION. There is nothing better in life than achieving something YOU told YOURSELF that you couldn’t achieve.

Find an Inner peace

“Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Where does your inner peace stem from? Most of us like to find a way that helps us to find that inner peace. For some it is meditating, for others it is finding that harmony through a greater strength. For me personally it is God. I find the moments of praying the most meaningful in my life. I would most definitely have gone insane if i didn’t have god’s guidance. Whenever i think something is unreachable, like a goal, happiness or relief from stress and depression, i say in sha Allah (If god wills). This reminds me that nothing is more powerful than god. What is meant for me will come. This world itself and people have no power over me, which is a relief because many people do not wish others happiness. I know god wants the best for me, and loves me, and is more merciful than human beings. It always feels good knowing these desperate circumstances are not there to punish me, but to test and challenge me. As mentioned above challenges do not have to be something that only brings us pain. They are not always a bad thing.

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear..(Qur’an, 2:286)

This verse alone has taught me patience, trust, love and persistence in a way nothing and nobody else has ever taught me. So you can only imagine the medication the Quran is as a whole, for my life. Some read the bible, some meditate. I hope whatever it is, you find your peace as well.