What The Hell Is This Crap?

I want to ask "Why do a Dark Shadows movie if it isn't a Dark Shadows movie, but just some kind of goofy parody which can be done under any name?"

But that's a dumb question. The name itself is why they're bothering with this non-remake remake of a barely-remembered soap opera.

I saw The Killer Elite, the new one. It was an odd thing-- it was a completely different story. In fact, it wasn't even based on the book The Killer Elite, but an entirely different book, "The Feathermen," about shadowy British ex-commando types who did crimes and stuff.

Why was it called The Killer Elite? I'm not 100% sure but I believe they just made this movie, figuring it would be called The Feathermen, then they heard the title "The Killer Elite" was available, so they bought it, and slapped it on a completely unrelated movie.

(The new Killer Elite, or really, "The Feathermen," wasn't half-bad. Odd. Different. I liked that it wasn't exactly like every other movie. Beyond that, it was so-so.)

They did that with the oddly titled, multiply-coloned "Bad Lieutenant 2: Port of Call: New Orleans." Apparently that was just a completely free-standing film with no connection to Bad Lieutenant, but they bought the title and slapped it on to it.

(A fake sequel to a movie hardly anyone remembers.)

So, here's a vampire comedy. It's called Dark Shadows, for no good reason.