Tell us, Martin, please: who's going to win the Challenge Cup final? The bookies are putting down St Helens as favourites, but I think Wigan have got what it takes to win, and I think with Brett Dallas on sparkling form, they've got a matchwinner. The last couple of times the two sides have played St Helens have been favourites, but Wigan have always raised their game against Saints. My heart is always going to say Wigan, though.

What's the more exciting, union or league? I get excited about both. Obviously my old [union] club Wasps are doing quite well, I've been down to watch them a couple of times this season, and with England winning the World Cup, you know it's up with the crowds, up on the general interest. It's obviously the best it's been for a while.

Who nicknamed you 'Chariots Offiah'? I think it was the Star newspaper. [Mildly peeved] It was never any player.

So now you're doing Strictly Come Dancing. Yeah, it's ironic. On the day of the Challenge Cup final, Wigan are playing and it's two years to the day since I retired, when I played my last game for Wasps against Sale up at Hayward Road. So it's ironic that this is my debut on the dancefloor. It's a bit, er, different, to playing rugby league.

We're sure it is. How do you think Bruce Forsyth would get on as a rugby league player? Well, he's still looking in pretty good shape, for his years. He's similar to me, pretty light on his feet. But I don't know if he could quite hack the pace.

What do you think about people who say Brucey's just Jimmy Hill in tap shoes? [Laughs] Yeah, I suppose he is in a certain way. He's certainly a keen rugby watcher. I tell him I remember watching him when I was young and he tells me he remembers watching me when he was old.

OK, Martin, let's talk dance. What's your favourite dance? The bells and sticks of a Morris dance, or perhaps a Scottish country fling? [Laughs] I wouldn't have a clue, because I've not done either. I think, um, Morris dancing, because you do it outside, don't you?

And what about a dance-off between the king of the dancefloor, Michael Jackson, and the Lord of the Dance, Michael Flatley? I know he's in a bit of trouble, but it's Michael Jackson all the way for me. He's the man.

Right you are, Martin. Now, Small Talk's going biscuit shopping. What do you want us to get you? [Excited] Oh, it's a tie between chocolate Hobnobs and custard creams.

Small Talk's not wasting money on custard creams if you're just going to dismantle them, you know. Oh no. I just dunk them.

Have you tried the trick with a Kit Kat, where you suck the tea up through the fingers, like a sort of biscuity straw? [Contemptuous] Nah. I'm not a Kit Kat man.

But is it the land of slippers? [Sounding wistful] No. Well, I have got a pair in the shape of football boots. They play the Match of the Day anthem when you step on them. They were a gift.

And a thoughtful one at that. Now then, lion v tiger. Where's your money? Oh, probably the tiger. They're a bit more lithe and aggressive. If the tiger gets in trouble it can run away and then come back and have the fight another day.

That'll do for us. Kylie or Britney? Britney. Every time. Ev-ery time.

Now, Small Talk's heard a rumour you're a bit of a gaming fan. PlayStation or Xbox? [Immediately] PlayStation 2. Medal of Honour. I've got all the way through Frontline.

Gah! Small Talk's stuck on the train level. [Laughs] Ah, you need to go right through the train. Basically, as you go up, always double back. If you get a certain distance, you always have to double back and check for things you've left behind, like extra weapons and ammunition and life. So whatever you get up to, you've always got to keep going back, because you'll always have missed something. Or you can always go to www.supercheats.com.

Cunning. Sounds like Martin Offiah might be into Grand Theft Auto. Not really, I'm not the best gamer in the world, so I normally just get one game at a time, and I stick to it. I like Knock-Out Kings 2, though.

That sounds bloody. Ever knocked a man out? No. Well, maybe on the rugby field. But not intentionally.

Fair enough. See any good films recently? Oh, I saw the DVD of The Last Samurai, which I think is a great film. Even though I didn't think that Tom Cruise was the right man for that movie, it's still a great film. Much better than Kill Bill. Kill Bill was just too much - all style and violence and that was it. The Last Samurai was a great film, really spiritual.

Deep. So where are you off to now? I'm off to a dance rehearsal. I'm going to see a specialist Latin coach, but I'll be doing jive and rumba, maybe a bit of a waltz.

Flashdance? MC Hammer? Ah, no. A bit of a cut above that.

Enjoy it, Martin. Have a nice day.

Martin Offiah is one of the stars of Strictly Come Dancing, which is on BBC One and Three from this Saturday.