absurdities

There’s a new kind of label hitting the fashion scene and we ‘re not not talking about Chanel, Prada or Burberry. We’re talking about a line that’s designed especially for guinea pigs, called Guinea Pig Fashion (how original). Apparently designing outfits for pets is nothing new and there is even a university offering a certificate program in pet fashion. One thing the market has been missing though, is clothing designed for guinea pigs, which Tokyo-based designer, Maki Yamada has managed to corner. She has produced a line that includes clothing and accessories for the little rodents. With everything from hats to hair extensions to costumes she has your guinea pig’s wardrobe covered. Now all we need is a guinea pig stylist to set the stage, Rachel Zoe you interested?

These days you can find just about anything in a Hello Kitty-fied version. The icon even has its own Twitter with more that 150,000 followers, #kittyoverload. From guns, to airlines to condoms the list goes on, and now another item may soon be added to that list, aka breast implants! While the Hello Kitty breast implants don’t exist yet, a whole lot of talk is going around that Sanrio may be looking to develop a way for women to get their breasts shaped like Hello Kitty. Don’t worry the image above is actually of Hello Kitty soap bars but who knows what Hello Kitty absurdity will be developed next. Stay tuned.

May the best dildo win! Vegas has a new game to bet on which involves four battery-operated vibrators racing against each other. It is played with up to eight people in a 1.5mph race to the finish line. The sex toys are placed on a piece of paper and propel themselves forward. The first sex toy race was run by Fun Factory’s CEO, Frederic Walme and its creating quite a buzz (or vibration). If you don’t believe us just watch the video below. Gentlemen, start your vibrators!

There’s an app for everything these days, including app-controlled vibrating underwear. Yup, with this new technology you can arouse your lover down under with just a click of a button. The app is called “Fundawear” and was recently launched by Durex. The idea behind it is that you put on special underwear and you are able to ‘buzz’ each other in naughty places using the app. Check out the video below to see just how the ‘sexy’ technology works with your iphone. Talking dirty might have to change a little with all this technology – iTouch me baby!

It’s time to make your routine pooping experience extra special and sparkly with these Gold Pills. Coated in gold and filled with 24K gold leaf, these capsules retail for $425 and will literally make you poop gold. Once they work through your system, voila! You will have struck gold (in the toilet).

The pills are part of the INDULGENCE range from CITIZEN:Citizen and designed in collaboration with Tobias Wong and Ju$t Another Rich Kid. They are an ode to society’s obsession with fame, luxury and commodities and quite frankly we are still in shock that they are on the market. After stumbling across these little capsules we can definitely confirm s*#t just got a little weird (and gold).

Ah, bacon–who can get enough of it? Apparently, not the folks at J&Ds because they invented a new way to add it to your morning routine.

Behold, J&D’s Bacon Shaving Cream. Yes, it’s bacon-scented shaving cream and yes it’s a real thing that sells for $15 a jar. Now if you’re wondering if it actually smells like bacon, it does. I wouldn’t be surprised if you got bitten by a dog on your way to work after using it.

Get the vodka ready! Lindsay Lohan’s new movie, Liz & Dick, premiered Sunday night and it felt more like a really long SNL skit than a dramatic biopic. Everyone’s favorite redhead-on-the-rocks tried her best to play screen icon Elizabeth Taylor, but it didn’t work out so well. Let’s just say, she did a better job driving her Ferrari on the Pacific Coast Highway–and we all know how that turned out–than she did acting in this film.

So in honor of Lilo’s latest #fail, we created an awesomely fun Liz & Dick drinking game. Set your DVR (cause you know Lifetime is bound to replay it), shake up a batch of martinis (Liz’s drink of choice), and print out these Liz & Dick Drinking Game rules. Yes, you’ll probably get as blacked out drunk as Lindsay on a Tuesday at the Chateau Marmont, but that’s all part of the fun!

Liz & Dick Drinking Game Rules

Drink whenever:

1. Anyone wears fur.

2. Lilo’s accent goes faux British.

3. Richard Burton’s character gets drunk.

4. Liz and/or Dick are drinking.

5. There’s a marriage or divorce.

6. Lilo’s drawn on mole shows more emotion than her.

7. Glass is broken.

8. Someone throws something at a wall.

9. You see alcohol or a bar cart.

10. Someone buys jewelry.. or talks about jewelry.

11. You think Lilo looks better playing a 40-year-old than she does in real life.

12. You catch yourself thinking of at least 10 better actresses to play Liz Taylor.

13. Someone collapses.

14. You like an outfit.

15. Someone mentions alcohol, drugs, or fornication.

16. Someone talks about how old or fat Liz and/or Dick are.

17. You think you could have played Liz Taylor better than Linday Lohan.