So far, my boys have taught me that farts are apparently, hilarious. Often so funny, that when one of them farts, the other laughs so hard, he almost falls off his chair.

Star Wars is not to be mocked. Referring to my seven year old as Padawan, and having imaginary light sabre fights is cool.

Worms are trendy. Our seven year old announced loudly in the school yard that we’re getting worms. Parents nearby visibly drew back from us. His friends thought it was awesome. Let me just clarify that my son was referring to getting a worm farm, not getting infected with intestinal parasites. No one wants to have to go through the drama of buying bum chocolate Combantrin and washing every item of bedding and clothing.

No one wants to have to buy these

Snot is fascinating. Although I’m pretty sure this isn’t limited to boys. The number of times I catch my boys with a finger up a nostril, or in some cases, fingers up both nostrils… I once watched my then three year old having a good old explore of his nostrils with a finger. I asked him what he was doing – his reply: “looking for stuff”. Ok, I’ll pay that.

Clean clothes each day are optional. A t-shirt that has crusted snot around the neck line (yes, ewww!), bolognaise stains on the front and dried mud is totally ok. Even if every other item of clothing has been washed and doesn’t smell…

Construction sites are awesome. Excavators, dump trucks and diggers are the highlight of a day. I even now drive out of my way to go past construction sites, instead of avoiding them and the traffic hassles they cause. Why? Because it is guaranteed to distract both the boys long enough and make them point out each heavy vehicle to me. They forget that 10 seconds ago I was trying to enforce the “hands to yourself” rule before someone got bitten / poked / slapped, or a shower of sultanas was thrown at me from the back seat by the toddler.

Penises are likely to fall off, if not checked on many times throughout the day. Sometimes it is necessary to sit with one hand in your pants to ensure it is still there. Ok, it won’t actually fall off, but the way boys behave at times, you would think it would.

Bedrooms will smell like sweaty socks and cheese, regardless of the child’s age, whether or not they have just played a game of soccer, or had a shower. I have no idea how this is possible. All I know is that my boys’ rooms have to be aired out every single day. I’m dreading how bad their rooms will smell when they’re teenagers and the over powering smell of body sprays marketed at teen boys is introduced into the equation. We’re likely to have to install extractor fans in their rooms…

My mother-in-law had four boys, including twins. Four boys under the age of three. That woman is amazing. With her parenting experience, even she doesn’t know why boys smell. Her parenting tip though: take off your glasses. That way, you can’t see the dust or mess and you’ll stress less about tidying up!

What have you learned since becoming a parent? Are your kids crazy about construction sites too?

My last out of three is a boy. Because of him I had to learn the name of Every. Single. Car on the road. I don’t care that much about cars, but I know what they all are now.
I also learnt that boys:
* are louder and faster than my girls, who were never that quiet or still.
* think in funny (especially when they are the youngest). They are hilarious.
* stink. Teenaged boy bedrooms will curl your toes. We plan to replace carpet and fumigate the room when he leaves home. I keep reminding our son that his dad doesn’t stink anymore. He can’t help it that he’s a boy and that being stinky is just a thing teenaged boys have to go through. Roll-on deodorant for the win.
* have very delicate egos.

Hehehe! I also like to go through construction and road works now. It helps with the whole parenting thing. I threaten Reeve that his “doodle will fall off if he keeps touching it”. He doesn’t seem to give a shit though.

I reckon at 5 and under there isn’t a lot of difference between girls and boys, they are all obsessed with gross things and have no sense of decency, lol! My big girl loves going past construction sites, which is lucky seeing as we can’t really go anywhere these days without going past one, thanks to all of the land releases and road upgrades going on in our area. And the nose thing? I swear it doesn’t matter which one I look at, one of the girls always has a finger up their nose or is investigating a booger on their finger with immense interest and they delight in coming to show me! Urgh! Kids in general are just a bit feral, dontcha think?!
#teamIBOT

Haha, I’m certainly NOT telling my boys about bum chocolate as they are already waaay to obsessed with all things related to going to the toilet! It’s really interesting (and annoying) the way others react to being the Mum of all boys (we have two with number 3 on the way), I’ve already encountered a few random people in the supermarket commenting that I must be wishing for a girl when they see my two boys, I’m just waiting for their reaction when I step out with all three!

Mum of three boys here and yes I so agree with every point you’ve made! The other day I was telling them what I thought was a pretty good bedtime story. When I finished I asked “so, how was it?” They look at me disappointedly and said “well you didn’t talk about poo or pop offs like daddy does, so it wasn’t that good!” For. Real!

Ahhhh Bum Chocolate my kids actually don’t mind the flavour of it! I am blessed with one son and he really is just gorgeous! He is so incredibly loving and looks after me, he is also a pretty awesome big brother to his twin sisters. I wouldn’t be without my boy! Once upon a time I wanted 13 boys! Then I had one pregnancy and re-assessed quickly!

What a great read! I’ve got two teenage boys, and I’m just preparing you for the reality that they stink even more, still think showers are an optional extra and would wear the same shirt for a week if you didn’t say anything. But, they give the nicest hugs, empty the car when you ask, can reach that top shelf and open that pesky bottle of tomato paste when you’re stuck. Enjoy them!

Boys are a funny breed. While I was teaching, the boys always spent most of the day either with their hands down their pants or their fingers up their nose and if they were really ambidextrous, both! Your mother in law is a legend, four kids under three (regardless of their gender) must have been character building to say the least!