Sunday, February 26, 2012

Santorum Makes Campaign Swing Through Seventeenth Century

Andy Borowitz used to be a humorist. It appears he's a straight journalist these days.

At the first stop of his ambitious journey, Mr. Santorum restated his reason for seeking the White House: "I am running for President today because the position of Spanish Inquisitor is no longer available."

The former Pennsylvania Senator served up red meat to his seventeenth-century supporters, telling them, "Since we all agree that contraception is a bad idea, it's time to take a harder look at electricity and soap."

Mr. Santorum, who said that in his first day in office he would repeal the Age of Enlightenment, stressed that he had home-schooled all seven of his children: "That means there are at least eight people in this country who don't understand evolution."

In a lighter moment, Sen. Santorum told his audience what he said was his favorite joke: "A Kenyan, a Muslim and a socialist walk into a bar. And then he makes everyone get an abortion."

We do it all the time Gord. I call it retroactive abortion. The reich-wingers call it the death penalty, war, permanent poverty, war on drugs, free markets (Monsanto, ADM etc), and all kinds of other shit. It either kills you quick or kills you slow(ish) but it certainly kills you just as dead as all the fetuses that seem to be the only life that matters.

Gordon

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"... That's US here at the Brain! Sittin' all alone out in the cold, thanklessly freezin' our beboops off, lookin' for a chance to lob a few at the enemy and praying for a secondary explosion, wonderin' if it's all worth it or if it will make any difference in the scheme of things ..." - Gordon