A young professional turned frazzled first-timer stumbling through the thrills and spills of parenthood.

Monday, 16 November 2015

Sharing the motherload

‘Oneupmumship’ is something I feared well before our little
miss came squawking into the world.Knowing how self-doubting and nigh on neurotic I can be in so many areas
of my life, I worried that suddenly becoming responsible for keeping a small
person alive while surrounded by immaculate and judgemental supermums and their
advanced, angelic babies could send me plummeting into an abyss of anxiety that
I wasn’t doing anything right.

I really needn’t have worried.Since getting to know many mothers on the
Chiltern circuit, I’ve realised that mums and their little ones come in all
shapes and sizes, no baby is an angel every day and (beyond the obvious!) there
are few rights and wrongs of parenthood as long as you are keeping your little
one relatively clean, cuddled and fed.That we are all allowed an off day or ten, and even an experienced mum
of three is capable of having the odd mini meltdown or being flummoxed by their
new, very individual baby’s foibles and phases.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that far from trying to outdo
each other with tales of our babies’ lightning fast development or ability to
sleep through the night from week one, what actually exists is a lovely,
supportive network of mums sharing advice, special moments and milestones, horror
stories and lots of tea and cake as we all muddle through motherhood and marvel
at our little ones.And we all muck in
in support of each other: I’ve been lucky enough to have someone offer to cut
up my food while I tried to eat brunch one-handed while cradling a tetchy two-month-old,
and I’ve seen others helping to dispense wipes and sympathy as someone dealt
with an off-the-scale poonami.

You soon learn too that everyone has had difficulties of
some kind - in my case, for example, if sleeping was a relatively easy nut to
crack, feeding was an impenetrable, fortified macadamia in the early days – but
sharing these struggles makes you realise that you’re not alone, you’re getting
by and, clichéd as it may seem, problems do pass in the end.

This post may be an unabashed love-in, but I wanted to relay
how much of a difference this special network has made as we all grapple with
the thrills and spills of first-time parenthood.In the words of one advert, ‘you’re doing
great’, and to paraphrase another, let’s make time for some ‘exceedingly good
cakes’ again soon!