Dognabbit

Time to mow the lawn. Oops, ran out of gas. Luckily I always leave a little in the bottom of a can, so I could complete my task.

Gas cans nowadays are very tricky. I tried several at Home Depot. One has to twist a thing in the right direction, then pull back and keep holding the can and contraption in a firm grip until enough gas has been dispensed.

Ladies and gentlemen who make rules and regulations:

I know what gasoline is.
I have sofar been able to go through life without gas cans exploding in my hands.
I find it much more convenient to open the can, use a little funnel and dispense said fuel than using the Micky Mouse contraception you have approved. If you think you are doing the multitudes a favor, please be advised that I do not think so. Kindly un-force your demands for manufacturers to make things that pretend to be better – and that we are then forced to buy. The truth is that my gas can may only be a small example of how things are all over – but I must say that things all over have gotten less fun and more complicated because of stupid ideas becoming laws. Everybody gets stupid ideas, some of us even try them out, and some even turn out to be good ideas. That’s life, and stupid ideas come and go. The trouble is that when stupid ideas come from the government, they become law and wether they work or not they don’t go away.

Electric lightbulbs from China. That was a great idea for while. Now we know better, but still have to use those unsafe things. You made it illegal to manufacture a 60 watt bulb? Now I see I can get an old-fashioned bulb rated for 58 Watts. Brilliant!

Obama just went to give money to the farmers up north fighting the dry season. They need water, but cannot get it because a fish will cancel it’s campaign contributions. Instead they’ll print more money and pass it around. Try some blue-cheese dressing on those hundred-dollar bills, it still won’t be food.

Dear people working in government: Your job is to serve the needs of the people? Have we asked for safety-funnels on gas cans? Have sufficient tax-payers in the Valley asked for a new roundabout as a matter of great urgency – right at the time California is running in the red? Why are there cameras everywhere? That must have cost a pretty penny? What are all those yellow emergency phones every half-mile along the highways still doing here? That was another great idea until everybody (including the homeless) got cellphones. Are those yellow boxes still maintained? They even have braille keyboards, solar panels – heck those things can’t be cheap. Great idea, very compassionate idea. While I’m at it: The vista-point on the 154 towards the bridge where I notice the sign says “Vista point”? The vista is not there. Trees now grow where the view used to be. Folks have to get out of the car, which is a nice idea, then walk a fair jaunt to come to a lookout. What the heck? There are four million trees everywhere around, and we can’t cut a few of them back so all people can see the view? Is there some rule that we can’t cut trees?

If I may summize: Dear people working in government: Please ask what I need before trying to serve me. I know what gasoline is. If I fall off a ladder it is not because you failed to warn me where steps are. I have climbed trees, scaled mountains, navigated rivers and crossed many streets without being hit, so I don’t feel the need to stand on some street corner at 3 in the morning waiting for a light. Kindly do not instruct me unless I ask you, or if it looks like I’m hurting others. It took me a long time to disassemble that gas-can spicket so I can use it. Please don’t protect me and I do not believe you need to protect others from me either.

There are too many laws. Period.
You can keep them if you like them.
I view them as ideas.
Often dumb ones.