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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending one of my close friend's birthday party. Now as I am normally a social piranha and run the opposite direction upon hearing the words "party" and "people", I wasn't really sure what to expect. There was a disclaimer at the top on the invitation. It read "wear clothing that you can get dirty." Because my mind is always in the glutter and I have the ability to see sexual innuendos in virtually anything... My curiosity had been peaked. I wore my shirt I had made for the Harry Potter premier (stop judging me) and a pair of plain red sport shorts. The entire party itself was incredibly fun and convinced me that it is actually okay to leave your house every so often. I've made a mental note that I need to improve my ~mingling~ skills. My small talking capacity is that of a vegetable. Put me in a room full of little kids and I can talk about fluffy kittens, rainbows, and lollipops until my mouth falls off. Put me in a room full of teenagers and I immediately collapse into a puddle of lifeless goo. The best part of the party was the ending. During the last hour we were all rounded up to go outside. We were then handed plastic bags that were filled with "color" (think heavily saturated pixie stick powder). From that point on I guess you could say it was every man for themselves, which explains why it looks as if a scene kid just threw up on me. See video above. I have never taken a more colorful shower in my life.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

One of the best feelings in the world: "When you're congested as f**k and then suddenly your nostrils open up."

Never has a statement been more accurate. For the past week or so I've been terribly sick and run down. Every time I spoke I sounded like a mixture of dying farm animals and a garbage disposal. As for my looks, if I had been born thirty years earlier, been blessed with good rhythm and the ability to dance... I could have easily been an extra in Thriller. Thankfully though I have started to get better. Never underestimate the power of green tea.

During that period where I was confined to my bed... I managed to get A LOT of Pokémon time in. Before you scoff and shake your head I want to clarify that I am NOT this girl. Familiarize yourself with the meme "Idiot Nerd Girl" because that stereotype along with "Annoying Facebook Girl" are my all time pet peeves. Fortunately for me my school is full of these people, thus giving me prime opportunities to perfect my death glare.

The lack of luster is this post has been noted. I'm going to be 100% honest here when I say that I almost forgot about my previous promise. I may even put up another one this weekend to make up for this shitastic entry.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

I really contemplated starting this post out with "IT'S BEEN A WHILE", as that seems to be my go to phrase lately, but I thought that I should conjure up a bit more originality. Sorry for my "basically" month long absence. It's evident that I lack the ability to stick to commitments. I have appointed myself Queen of Procrastination/Excuse-land. In a feeble attempt to regulate steady blog posts, I've decided to systematically schedule my entries. You heard it here first folks... I hereby promise that every Wednesday I will update you with the rambling boring nonsense that is my life.

To put it simply, I love Zooey Deschanel. I know what you're thinking, "OKAY LEAH, just hop on the hipster bandwagon you little try hard asshole." Okay fair enough, but once you watch the New Girl you'll see why this claim is totally justifiable. Her character "Jess" is essentially the same as Summer (500 Days of Summer). They both retain the same style, appearance, and general personality. The only difference is that Jess is slightly more eccentric and vulnerable, whereas Summer turned out to be a massive bitch. Because I fail at the art of persuasion, this paragraph probably did nothing to convince you that Zooey Deschanel is "positively perfect in every way" and that New Girl is a show you should consider watching. Which is why you should read this. It probably also doesn't hurt that the theme song is ridiculously catchy and upon hearing it you will want to skip down your driveway and whistle. You can watch the first two episodes here, and here.

I find this picture hilarious because to me it looks like one of those cheesy school photos that you take at the beginning of each year. The picture with "Paris in the spring time", "Fall Harvest", or "Tropical Breeze" as options for the backdrop. The picture that your parents hang up on their refrigerator and then proceed to mail a copy to every one of your relatives, distant included.

These Floral Doc Martens embody the 60's era to a T. I feel like I should start wearing bell bottoms and peasant shirts, and start growing my hair down to my knees. When I wear these shoes, you can do no wrong because I love everyone. ELE.

Shameless self promotion time!!1 If you guys haven't already seen the video linking you to my new twitter account you can re-follow me, or follow me here.