Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Just Imagine . . .

Have you ever noticed that in these contemporary, relatively “gay-friendly” times, it’s rarely gay men who are open and at peace with their sexuality that are busted for “public lewdness,” but, more often than not, those who are self-hating and closeted?

Now what message should we take from this observation, I wonder?

Case in point: In a recent police sting in New York State, aimed at men who cruise for gay sex, all twenty arrested were actually married men – with the exception of the one who was a Catholic priest.

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BEDFORD – A sting aimed at men who cruise a rest area off Interstate 684 for gay sex resulted in charges against 20 men in the past month, including a Catholic priest and a registered sex offender.

Most of the men were charged with either loitering or trespass violations or both. One was charged with forcible touching, a misdemeanor. Four were charged with exposing themselves and two with public lewdness, all violations. The 20 suspects are due in Bedford Town Court on Thursday.

Among those arrested was the Rev. Gary Mead, a Catholic priest from Millwood assigned to St. Gregory Barbarigo parish in Garnerville. Police said he fondled an undercover officer and was charged with forcible touching.

Mead, 44, was previously assigned to St. Mary’s Church in Wappingers Falls and, in the late 1990s, was parochial vicar at Holy Family parish in New Rochelle. A message left yesterday with the Archdiocese of New York was not immediately returned.

With the exception of Mead, all of those charged are married, police said.

The sting, which also netted a local Rotary Club president and a 72-year-old man, was prompted by a complaint from a man who stopped to use the rest area with his 10-year-old son, said Capt. Robert Meyer, state police commander in Westchester County.

One result of this “wounding,” continues Stevenson, is an attraction to “impersonal forms of sexual relating.” This problem, he insists, could and should be addressed by the Church as a social justice issue.

Stevenson goes on to envision the following:

Just imagine how different things might be if, for example, Catholic parishes and schools affirmed the goodness and lovability of people in their homosexuality. Not just religion and parochial education, but laws, public schools, and popular culture could all evolve – or perhaps continue to evolve, since in some respects they already have – in ways that would heal the wound of feeling unlovable and open the lives of homosexual people to more personal forms of relating. And given the naturalness, goodness, and lovability of homosexuality, it is the right of gay people to expect justice.

Michael, Just to be fair, over the years I have worked with, and had several people who worked for me, who happened to be out with their sexuality - they talked about it openly. Not all were in relationships either, yet they loved the "tea room sex".

These men were definitely not closeted - they just liked the novelty of public, slam, bam, thank you man, sex. I suspected the fascination had a great deal to do with voyeurism/exhibitionism - which plays a role in sexual addiction.

Although, as you say - it is interesting how many otherwise 'respectable' men take advatage of the opportunity. Accessibility and convenience also seems to play a role, over and above shame. Heterosexuals like 'dirty, secret sex' too, which is one reason why prostitution has always been popular.

I established The Wild Reed in 2006 as a sign of solidarity with all who are dedicated to living lives of integrity – though, in particular, with gay people seeking to be true to both the gift of their sexuality and their Catholic faith. The Wild Reed's original by-line read, "Thoughts and reflections from a progressive, gay, Catholic perspective." As you can see, it reads differently now. This is because my journey has, in many ways, taken me beyond, or perhaps better still, deeper into the realities that the words "progressive," "gay," and "Catholic" seek to describe.

Even though reeds can symbolize frailty, they may also represent the strength found in flexibility. Popular wisdom says that the green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm. Tall green reeds are associated with water, fertility, abundance, wealth, and rebirth. The sound of a reed pipe is often considered the voice of a soul pining for God or a lost love.

On September 24, 2012,Michael BaylyofCatholics for Marriage Equality MNwas interviewed by Suzanne Linton of Our World Today about same-sex relationships and why Catholics can vote 'no' on the proposed Minnesota anti-marriage equality amendment.

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