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How to sell against others (HAHA)

Want to get a whopping $20,000 worth of work for a mere $10,000? This free report explains the ‘lucky’ 13 ways that truly shrewd consumers pay rock-bottom prices for home improvement projects. We accumulated these strategies from numerous construction experts at local TV stations. Naysayers will tell you these tactics will result in heartbreak, misery, sleepless nights and possibly even a divorce. Nonsense, never believe cynics anyway. Besides, this is your hard-earned money, not theirs, you get to choose whom you believe. If your discerning enough to follow these maneuvers, you’ll put quite a tidy sum of cash in your pockets, and who couldn’t use free money?

1. Do not hire a ‘so-called’ licensed contractor in states where they are required to be licensed. Likewise, never hire a member of some -so-called’ professional Contractors Association, like the NTRCA )North Texas Roofing Contractors Association) for example! These shmucks pay annual licensing fees/dues and they always try justifying passing these dues onto us, their customers. Why should you have to pay for such nonsense?

2. Make sure the contractor does not have insurance! Everyone knows insurance overpriced and they’ll just be passing on the cost to you. It is obvious that contractor’s insurance should be paid by the contractor as a cost of doing business. Besides, if he truly knows what he is doing, why would he buy over-priced insurance anyway? If he damages your home or injures your family or someone else, you can always sue him – duh!

3. Be willing to accept ‘so-called’ piecemeal workmanship. This is critical to save yourself a ton of cash! You will more than likely move in a few years anyway, so, paying for so-called ‘top-notch-workmanship’ is nothing short of foolish. When you sell your house, obviously strongly discourage potential buyers from hiring a pesky home inspector. These bothersome inspectors might find your minor flaws and code violations. Strategy: When you are selling your house, have a keg of beer at your open house and offer prospective buyers several cups free brew prior to them viewing your home – who doesn’t love a belly full of free beer? Generally speaking, a beer buzz will cause them to overlook these minor inconveniences.

4. Secret strategy: You can save boat loads of cash by using your insurance company’s preferred contractors. Who says that no one will bite the hand that feeds them – utter hogwash. They’re as likely to be loyal to you, the consumer, as the insurance company that feeds them hundreds and hundreds of jobs a year. If a ‘so-called professional’ contractor finds any what they call omitted damage, or ‘so-called’ reasonable method of repair, they’re just trying to soak your insurance company, who has your best interests at heart.

5. You simply must trust your insurance carrier to have your best interests at heart. The burden of having to negotiate with your insurance company, to make them pay what some ‘professional’ contractor states they owe – who has the time and wherewithal? All those extra trade line-items on their estimate (compared to your new friend’s [your adjuster’s] estimate) just means more time out of your very busy schedule – you’ve got The Voice TV show to watch. Moreover, if the IRS would only do my taxes for me (like my adjuster scopes my damages), I’d save all that extra money I had to spend at H&R Block as well.

6. Lettered trucks and uniformed staff spell one thing, professionalism! Yup and this is a very expensive word for the discerning consumer. This ‘so-called’ professionalism means they will be charging you even more of your hard-earned money. Why should you care how the people are dressed and what they drive, so long as they can make it to the job on most days? Their station wagons are a perfectly acceptable mode of transportation without any fancy lettering that is nothing more than advertising their company anyway. Why would any astute consumer pay for such frivolities?

7. Whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of hiring a ‘so-called professional’. Be shrewd and hire a jack-of-all-trades. Generally, their rates are less than a licensed, ‘professional’ contractor’s. If they (the Handy Man) is not skilled in any particular ‘trade’, no problem, simply buy him a ‘how-to-book’ from Home Depot or Lowes and direct him how to do the work while he is doing the work – problem solved!

8. Buy the materials yourself and avoid the contractor charging you all that silly, extra cash for just for picking them up or having them delivered. When you fail to buy enough building materials, don’t let your contractor complain about having to get additional materials on his own time. Do not allow him to waste valuable time inspecting each individual building material product for flaws – everyone knows that ‘time is money.’ Besides, everyone knows that minor defects can be hidden with lots of paint and caulking. Bigger flaws can generally be hidden with tarps or by hanging pictures over them.

9. Don’t waste your valuable time asking for silly references. No one can trust a stranger over the phone. Contractors that perform ‘so-called top-notch-workmanship’ that supposedly meets other consumer’s expectations feel that they can charge more of your hard-earned money for their work. Everyone knows that no contractor will ever meet your expectations anyway. You should not be forced to pay for a contractor with a so-called ‘good work history’ or reputation. 10. Look for contractors that move around a lot. Contractors who work in one town only become sedentary. Do not embarrass the contractor’s salesman by asking where they live and especially don’t ask to see their driver’s license to prove it. You’ll be running off your best-priced contractors who are desperate enough to charge less because they need the work. Here today and gone tomorrow means you’re actually saving top-dollar today. Truly shrewd homeowners focus on the here and now.

11. If Any Contractor ever tries to tell you that they must follow senseless OSHA mandated rules, the building code and the idiotic manufacturers specifications, quickly run them off your property on a rail. I guarantee you that they are just trying to justify their price gouging. This is nothing but one big conspiracy to separate you from your hard-earned cash. Everyone knows it’s just a way for the town to soak you under the pretense of assuring that the work is being done to ‘so-called’ industry standards. Do you really want to pay all that extra money for permit costs and the extra time it takes to pull permits – what a waste of time? Just make the contractor promise to do a good job, and make sure he is not crossing his fingers. Have the crew work on weekends to save you money – everyone knows those pesky code enforcement officers don’t work on the weekends. If you happen to get caught without a permit, simply refuse to pay any fines and claim that you are renting the house. They are way too busy to verify this anyway.

12. Workers comp insurance is for sissies that get hurt on the job because they aren’t paying attention. This type of insurance can cost as much as 20% of your labor bill. It is outrageous that this gets passed on to us, the consumer! It is obvious that it’s much cheaper to simply drag some ‘so-called’ injured worker somewhere else and claim the ‘so-called’ accident happened there. Don't let the contractor scare you about the-is ‘so-called injured’ worker going after your homeowner’s insurance or suing you personally. Yes, it’s likely true, but you can always claim that worker was never on your property anyway – who are they going to believe, you or some blue-collar worker?

13. By all means, never, ever agree to pay your outlandish deductible. It’s already been subtracted off your estimate anyway – look and you’ll see we’re right. Besides, most contractors will eat your deductible if you are shrewd enough to apply sufficient pressure to them – desperate people do desperate things. Any contractor not willing to do you this little favor for you is not worth your valuable time. Don’t be frightened by ‘so-called professional contractors’ into believing that their eating or rebating your deductible is against the law. Besides, even it is, you can always ask them for a yard sign allowance, even though that’s almost certainly against the law as well. So many ludicrous laws now days anyway; mums the word. You’ll likely not be caught or much less arrested for breaking this ridiculous, anti-consumer law anyway.