Guy Talk: What He’s Actually Saying

Whether you’ve been talking to a guy for two weeks, or have been happily together for twenty years, one of the most common struggles in any relationship is communication. As men, we’ve developed a reputation for ourselves—and perhaps rightfully so. It’s not that we’re uncommunicative. It’s just that, sometimes, we aren’t the best at articulating ourselves. And often, we like to assume that a simple yes or no, or cryptic text message solves the problem (it doesn’t). Ladies, no need to freak out. We’re not that hard to understand. To help, below we’ll decode some of our common sayings (AKA guy talk).

What he’s saying: “I’m sorry.”

What he’s actually saying: “I’m sick of arguing, can we have make-up sex now?”

Commonly heard after a fight or argument, men often use this seemingly honest statement to cover up what we really mean. Yeah, we’re probably sorry, but we’re also ready to go.

What he’s saying: “I’m good.”

What he’s actually saying: “I like the things the way they are right this second and I’m literally not looking to add or change anything.”

When we say we’re good, it’s best to believe us. Sure, it’s a pithy reply. But it’s an honest one.

What he’s saying: “I promise.”

What he’s actually saying: “I kind of promise.”

If we consistently promise to do things and don’t show up or call, use your best judgment and put stock in our actions. Not all men are the same. And when real men make promises, we follow through with them.

What he’s saying: “You’re not fat.”

What he’s actually saying: “Seriously, you’re not fat.”

Commonly uttered when you’re naked, we generally mean it. You’re seriously not fat. And you going on and on about body issues is getting tedious.

What he’s saying: “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”

What he’s actually saying:” I’m not interested in a relationship with you.”

If we’re afraid of committing, it’s probably not circumstantial. It’s probably you. However, if you’d like to become friends with benefits, let us know!

What he’s saying: “I’ll call you.”

What he’s actually saying: “I won’t call you…but I don’t know how to say it nicely.”

Usually heard at the end of a date, this phrase is our go-to when we don’t know what else to say. What we really mean is that we don’t ever want to see you again, but we’re not sure how to put it bluntly.

What he’s saying: “She’s just a friend.”

What he’s actually saying: “I’d like her to be more than a friend but I also don’t want to cheat on you.”

Oh baby you, you got what I need. And I swear she’s just a friend…

What he’s saying: “You look better without makeup.”

What he’s actually saying: “Hurry up, I’m damn hungry.”

Commonly heard before a dinner date, he’s probably being honest. However, he’s also hangry and could care less what you put on your face.

What he’s saying: “It’s a boys night.”

What he’s actually saying: “I just need a night to drink beers and talk about stuff that bores the hell out of you.”

Seriously, the game is on and I’m in the mood to pound beers and get in touch with my primal side. I may look at other girls, but I’m not going to cheat.

What he’s saying: “I’m busy.”

What he’s actually saying: “I have plenty of time…I’d just rather not spend it with you.”

Unfortunately, we’ve decided to not put you on the list of important things to make time for. There are 24 hours in a day—there’s no way we’re busy every single one of them.

What he’s saying: “Let’s try something different.”

What he’s actually saying: “I’m starting to get bored.”

We mean it. Let’s try something new, whether it’s in the bedroom or in the kitchen. Keeping things fresh and exciting isn’t too much to ask, is it?