…a vibrator! Talk about overkill, but it’s a good thing it was not a bomb.

Russian bomb squad experts got an unexpected chuckle Monday when an investigation of a suspiciously ticking package revealed a vibrator.

“The building was ringed by the security forces and people were evacuated,” a spokeswoman said. “In the package, the bomb squad found a vibrator.” The sex toy had apparently been turned on “by accident.”

APRIL 19–A California Highway Patrol office was briefly evacuated earlier this month when investigators became concerned that an arrestee might have been carrying a concealed explosive device. When officers collared Steven Ferrini on a drug charge, a search of the 60-year-old suspect turned up ‘a suspicious wire, with an on/off switch’ in his pants pocket. ‘The wire was found to extend from the pant pocket to the subject’s anus,’ according to a CHP report, a copy of which you’ll find here.

Though Ferrini claimed that the wire was connected to an anal vibrator, officers became suspicious when he subsequently ‘began to explain his knowledge of explosives and bomb making.’ So they called in El Dorado County’s ‘explosive ordinance disposal’ team and, at 5:45 AM, evacuated ‘all unnecessary personnel’ from the CHP’s South Lake Tahoe office.

At about 9 AM, the bomb squad ‘rendered the device safe’ and determined it was not dangerous. The report does not indicate why more than three hours passed before the vibrator was found not to be an explosive device. ‘The vibrator was subsequently removed and placed into property,’ according to report, which does not identify the CHP employee tasked with that unfortunate evidence collection responsibility.

And in Sweden:

A suspicious package found in an apartment block in Sweden on Wednesday prompted the police to scramble a bomb disposal squad to the scene. Fortunately for the good people of Goteborg, however, they didn’t find a ticking bomb ready to unleash a wave of terror upon the city.

Instead, the device turned out to be a vibrating sex toy.

A janitor first alerted police after he found the package in a garage of an apartment building in Goteborg, Sweden’s second biggest city, police spokesman Jan Strannegård said.

The package was humming and vibrating suspiciously, so police took no chances and sent out a team of explosives experts.

After having cordoned off the area, they opened the package with bomb disposal equipment, only to find the battery-operated device inside.

‘The package was vibrating when the janitor found it, but I think it had sort of died out by the time it was disarmed,’ Strannegård said.

It was not immediately clear who had left the package in the garage. ‘We don’t really expect anybody to come asking for it,’ Strannegård added.

Here’s a top tip for those of you thinking of sending battery-operated sex toys via the Royal Mail: take out the power source before popping the package in the post, or you might enjoy a more explosive climax than anticipated.

This piece of advice comes via the BBC, which reports that Post Office staff in Hasland, Chesterfield, alerted the bomb squad after detecting a suspiciously-noisy parcel. The street was duly sealed off for an hour and a half during which the chaps disabled the offending device in a controlled explosion.

The source of the scare was subsequently found to be a vibrator, provocatively packed with a packet of chocolate buttons. A police spokesman said: “Officers had no way of knowing what was inside the package. But it gave us a giggle. They had to act on the information available and had to do what they thought was right. Thankfully, it was nothing more serious.”