Whenever we have a bad experience or we own up to having a weakness people immediately jump on the band wagon and tell us to work with our weaknesses. "Focus on them until you have overcome them and then you can move on".

But we only have a limited period on this earth. And what is more, I don't know how long that will be. So why oh why should I spend so much time focussing on my weaknesses?

What is it about my weaknesses that they should demand so much of my time? Surely the point is that they are called weaknesses because I am weak in this area. This is the area that saps my strength, so why should I give them more time.

I know the theory goes that I should give them more time and then they will become strengths.

But does it really work like that?

Just because I know the origin of this weakness does it mean that it is now a strength?

Just because I can now say, Ah so that behaviour comes from the time when I was"" Does that really help me?

It appears to me that it is still a weakness but now I have a reason ".or perhaps in the modern world something better" I have someone to blame.

It is his fault. She did it to me. But what's the point. It's still not a strength.

It's still sapping my energy.

Richard Restak, in his book Poe's Heart and the Mountain Climber, says the more you focus on your weaknesses, the more your body feels fear. The more uncomfortable you feel.

So why put yourself through so much pain?

In his experiments he has found that the best way to overcome a weakness is to change your thoughts. To think of something that makes you feel good.

In my experience, if I focus on what I'm good at and concentrate on these thoughts and skills I get stronger and stronger.

Let me give you an example.

I am not good at small talk. In fact I hate it.

But I am good at seeing connections between people and information which others do not see. Now what should I do? Should I concentrate on my small talk skills and develop them into strengths? Or, should I concentrate on my strength which will enable me to coach people better.

I choose to concentrate on my strengths.

Go on just try it.

Whenever you have a bad experience. Whenever you feel you are giving in to a weakness.

Stop. Reappraise.

Focus on something good. Something you love. Focus on what you are really good at.

WE promise it works.

The point is, if you focus on your strengths and what gives you a great feeling, you will reduce the stress on your body and perform a whole lot better.

Keep doing what's good for you what is right for you and you must progress.

Keep listening to your heart.

Keep focussed on what you know is good for you.

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water: focus on your strengths.