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Sexting

How to talk to children about the risks of sexting - and what you can do to protect them

It may feel awkward, but it's important to explain to children the risks of sexting, how to stay safe and remind them that they can talk to you if something ever makes them feel scared or uncomfortable.

What is sexting?

Sexting is when someone shares sexual, naked or semi-naked images or videos of themselves or others, or sends sexually explicit messages.

They can be sent using mobiles, tablets, smartphones, laptops - any device that allows you to share media and messages.

Sexting may also be called:

trading nudes

dirties

pic for pic.

What the law says

Sexting can be seen as harmless, but creating or sharing explicit images of a child is illegal, even if the person doing it is a child. A young person is breaking the law if they:

take an explicit photo or video of themselves or a friend

share an explicit image or video of a child, even if it’s shared between children of the same age

possess, download or store an explicit image or video of a child, even if the child gave their permission for it to be created.

However, as of January 2016 in England and Wales, if a young person is found creating or sharing images, the police can choose to record that a crime has been committed but that taking formal action isn't in the public interest.

Crimes recorded this way are unlikely to appear on future records or checks, unless the young person has been involved in other similar activities which may indicate that they're a risk. Find out more about legislation on child abuse images.

Why do young people sext?

There are many reasons why a young person may want to send a naked or semi-naked picture, video or message to someone else.

joining in because they think that ‘everyone is doing it’

boosting their self-esteem

flirting with others and testing their sexual identity

exploring their sexual feelings

to get attention and connect with new people on social media

they may find it difficult to say no if somebody asks them for an explicit image, especially if the person asking is persistent

What are the risks of sexting?

It's easy to send a photo or message but the sender has no control about how it's passed on.

When images are stored or shared online they become public. Some people may think that images and videos only last a few seconds on social media and then they're deleted, but they can still be saved or copied by others. This means that photos or videos which a young person may have shared privately could still be end up being shared between adults they don't know.

Sexting: advice for professionals

How to talk to your child about sexting

Every child is different, so your approach should be based on their character and your relationship with them. You could:

outline your expectations and explain the rules of having a mobile, tablet or smartphone

ask them what they feel is acceptable to send to people, if they’d be happy for you or a stranger or other children to see certain photos. If the answer is 'no', explain that the image, video or message is probably not appropriate to send

make sure they're comfortable saying no, that they know their body is private and being asked to share explicit images is inappropriate

explain to them about the importance of trust and consent in a healthy relationship. Tell them that it’s not ok for someone to make them feel uncomfortable, to pressure them into doing things that they don’t want to do, or to show them things that they’re unhappy about. Let them know that they can speak to you if this ever happens

tell them what can happen when things go wrong. Don't accuse them of sexting, but do explain the dangers and legal issues

you may find it easier to use real-life examples, such as television programmes or news stories, to help you explain the risks

ask them if they’d want something private shown to the world. Talk about the Granny rule - would you want your Granny to see the image you’re sharing?

talk about whether a person who asks for an image from you might also be asking other people for images

if children are sending images to people they trust, they may not think there's much risk involved. Use examples of when friends or partners have had a falling-out and what might happen to the images if this happens.

Ask them to get in touch with Childline. Together, Childline and the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) will try to get the image removed. Alternatively you can make a report direct to the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) on their behalf.

Childline is a confidential service, but to make a report on a child’s behalf to the IWF they’ll need to confirm who the child is and their date of birth

Childline have made this process easier by joining up with YOTI, an app that safely uses a young person's ID to confirm who they are. Children will need to download YOTI and then use it to take a picture of either a passport or a provisional driving license. Childline provides instructions on how to do this. YOTI will not store images of the ID

you’ll also need to provide a link to the image. But don't keep a copy of the image for evidence after you've sent the link as it’s illegal to share or store child abuse images.

if the image was sent by another young person you may want to help your child to speak to the sender in order to stop future messages. If your child agrees, you could also help them to block the sender on social media

look at Net Aware for information and advice about this or contact our O2 and NSPCC online safety helpline on 0800 800 5002

if the image was sent by an adult, contact CEOP, the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre, as this may be part of the grooming process.

Set up parental controls

The most important way to keep your child safe is to discuss the dangers of sexting and to be supportive if problems do occur.

You can also set up parental controls with your internet service provider or on your child's phone to stop them from accessing harmful content.

"I’ve just found out my daughter has been sent some nude selfies on this instant messaging app. She had been speaking to these people and they started sending her inappropriate images and asked her to send them things."
NSPCC helpline caller

Get an explicit image removed

You could:

report the image to the site hosting it. Net Aware gives information about reporting to social media providers

inform CEOP of the incident, if you believe the child is at risk of abuse

contact the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) or ask the child to get in touch with Childline. Together, Childline and the IWF will try to get the image removed.

Childline is a confidential service, but to make a report on a child’s behalf to the IWF we need to confirm who the child is and their date of birth. To confirm their identity young people can email Childline with a copy of their passport. This information will not be passed on without the child’s permission.

Make sure your child is supported

Remind your child they can contact Childline at any time if they want to talk to someone about how they’re feeling, our trained counsellors can give free non-judgmental advice and support.

If your child agrees, you should inform their school. Schools can keep an eye on the situation and help stop images or videos being circulated. They can also offer support to any other children that've been affected. They may have a counselling service which children can self-refer to.

If you’re concerned that your child needs more support or if you’re worried they’re behaving in a sexually inappropriate way, you can also speak to your GP or you may have community based services available to you.

Remember you can contact the NSPCC helpline 24 hours a day to speak with a counsellor if you're worried about a child or need further advice on keeping children safe.

Who else can help?

CEOP’s Thinkuknow give advice for parents, as well as children and young people of different ages, on staying safe online. Thinkuknow have created short videos to help parents understand why children ‘sext’, how to talk to them about it and what to do if their child is affected.

The UK Safer Internet Centregives advice and resources for parents and professionals on online safety. Their website has links to games and quizzes for primary and secondary aged children that encourages them to be safe online.

Read the research behind this page

Find out more about what young people have told us about sexting in research from the SPIRTO Project.

More support and advice

Grooming

Children and young people can be groomed online or in the real world, by a stranger or by someone they know - a family member, friend or professional.