Bachelor Pad: We Gotta GIF It Out!

Oh man. Bachelor Pad is off the rails, you guys. As sure Chris Harrison owns the world's largest collection of trendy-wrinkled button-downs, all semblance of logic has been lost.

Basically, all that happens is: people run around demanding allegiance and sometimes romantic love, get drunk/forget whom they promised what, start over, make new promises, then run and alert the exact wrong person about each promise.

It all makes for a truly muddled two hours. And you know how we're gonna un-muddle those two hours? We're gonna GIF it out.

Let's talk about Ed. Poor king of the buffoons Ed. He's become an increasingly depressing caricature--I mean, did we all date him? Or just Jillian? Because I legitimately feel embarrassed while watching him. Tonight in pathetic Ed displays: he was the only guy who couldn't complete the obstacle course. He just... couldn't. As if that wasn't humiliation enough, guess what happened as he stood perfectly still, waiting for instructions on what to do with himself next?

*SPLAT.*While Ed's on the bottom of the world, guess who's on top? David. David got to take three ladies to a fake prom, which was really just the normal staged concert + a punch bowl. He didn't wear any shirts that said Hoboken tonight. You're on a roll, David. Go head, get down with your bad self.

Donna panicked going into the rose ceremony, saying she really didn't want to be kicked off because she was the only one who hadn't "gotten any" in the house. Like a lurking rom-com Chad Michael Murray or Freddie Prinze Jr.--or, come to think of it, a combo of both--Nick must've heard this and gotten straight to work. Because he sat down next to the girl, put in a good twenty seconds patting her arm, and started making out with her. So awkward. Donna, why let this happen? (Nick's celebration and the cast's sign of respect are my adds to the moment, because my imagination is very good at knowing how such feats are acknowledged in the Bachelor Pad.)

You know what sucks? When you're trying on clothes and the fun montage times take a turn for the unsupportive. See: Blakely lighting up for Erica and looking like she's fighting back vomit when it's Jamie's turn.

So many questions--how can Reid be gone so soon? Why does Sarah consistently freak out about voting? Why didn't Michael and Rachel just GO to a RESTAURANT instead of chilling at Madame Tussaud's? What'd you think of last night's episode?