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Friday, December 21, 2007

Charity Bid's A Winner

Hurrah! The ECR/Bignews Margate axis has won the flying doctor's charity eBay auction to get our very own banner tugged around the island. Well, er, it wasn't that difficult as we were the only people to bid. What a load of skinflints you Thanetians are!

More news closer to the day (Christmas Eve), but we're hoping the banner will read MERRY XMAS FROM THANET BLOGGERS, and that the proceeds will go to the NSPCC. Tony and I are going half each on the £150, but one or two of my readers offered to chuck in the odd fiver, so I'll make my contribution the full ton. Hopefully, if Tony does the same, we'll have raised 200 nicker for a good cause.

And as it's Christmas, I suppose I ought to thank the Doc for contributing his time, plane, fuel and er oh gawd I think I'm going to throw up.

Update: As Tony is over the weight limit (85kg) for the passenger seat, and I'm a purely fictional persona, Dr Moores has asked us if he could auction the spare seat off for more charity wonga via local radio. Which is a nice idea, so listen out for that.

8 comments:

So we'd have to listen to KMFM's exciting repetoir of twelve Christmas songs for the next few days? I don't think so.As I said, I would be interested in that, and care not whether I have to ride pillion or side-saddle. But having to listen to KMFM, around Christmas, is asking too much!Now that he's a Thanet councillor, couldn't I just bung him a monkey?

So let's get this right, Dickie old boy; having moaned all year about red and white oozalum birds around Thanet and more recently at a group of tree-huggers being naive enough to be sponsored by the airline concerned, YOU have sponsored Biggles' Plane to go round and round in circles!!!!Lay off the Festive plonk, old chap, its clearly producing some erratic Christmas good will and all that.

Actually it's more cunning than that - the jumbo clearly can't land or take off whilst there's a little plane towing a long piece of engine-tangling vinyl footling about. The trick is to keep the little plane circling Manston 24hours a day... Much quieter, and God knows how many hours it would have to fly to cause as much environmental mischiefe as one minute's worth of Oasis flight.

I think I'm just about being consistent, anon, 6:09, as I've only ever argued for proper regulation of the airport and cancellation of the ruinous and heavily polluting Oasis 747 training flights. I would certainly never accept charity directly from Manston unless and until they begin having some regard for their neighbours.

Although I agree that something must have gone horribly wrong somewhere, as the Doc is now leaving comments. I promise to lay off the booze and buck my ideas up in the New Year!

As for exhibiting your thong in the doctor's cockpit, Lucy, it seems he is now taking offers on his hotmail, so seal your bid and get it in!

Damn It looks like I will have give the full ton, I have informed MR Puss that if I give much more to charity not only won't he be seeing any turkey for christmas this year but his favourate treat of a tin of tuna will also off limits.

On closer inspection of my bank account, I don't appear to have any monkeys at all. I'd imaging a tenner would be enough to beat off the competition, and if it comes to a tie-break, well, I'm sure that my 'beating off' tactics would work there, too.

Humph I remember the days when I used to raffle off targets for Bomber Command, if I hadn't got my ticket books messed up after a good night in the mess the Dresden bombing would never have happened. Put me down for twelve guineas for incendaries on those ghastly Turner Centre folk, with a crate of mild if he actually manages to hit it. Tally Ho!

Overheard in Thanet

Is your hot chocolate gluten free?Man at kioskJust wait til I get hold of yer, yer cunt. Yer fuckin' door won't save yer!Man on phone in streetThere were dead bodies everywhere at my fuckin' birfday do. No, seriously, my missus had to give one bloke CPR!Man on phone in streetYer can't smoke in a petrol station can yer? Fuck it, I'm gonna light up anyway. If I blow meself up I'm gonna charge you compensation!Woman to staff member at petrol stationWhat happened to all those Socialist Workers eh? They joined the bloody Labour Party, that's what!Man to woman in WaitroseSo I grabbed the fuckin' potato peeler and stabbed the cunt.Man sitting outside barTwitter? That's the bit between a bird's twat and her shitter, isn't it?Man on trainYou know the medicine they give us was invented by the Germans in WW2 for their troops, so they could be shot?Man on streetYeah, well, he's a fucking bald headed cunt.Man at Margate football matchYou better choose your sweets, inch yer! I'm not a bleedin' psychic, inn I?Woman to small childI like haring but I don't like it when the dog just bites into it an' it fuckin' screams and then you 'ave to go an' chop it.Man in restaurantI'm a registered businessman!Man on phone in streetI luv 'im, even though 'e raped me an' bit me. 'Cos 'e respecks me.Woman talking to man in streetChild to baboon in animal park: 'Ello!Mother: Don't talk, MatthewChild: Why?Mother: 'Cos it's an animal.

If you come on and start having a go at Margate, it immediately puts everyone's shackles up.

Man talking about the warm-up act at the Alexei Sayle gig at the Theatre Royal, Margate'We are not expecting widespread flooding; however precautions have been deployed and we are doing our upmost to ensure all areas are secure and protected.'Thanet Council press release

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Richard's Thanisaurus

Bignews Margaten. a fatuous blog that pays lip service to 'freedom of speech' but shits its britches at the first sign of trouble. Contributor: anonymous.

Much of the reason we experience noise on landing over Ramsgate is because training flights are precisely that. Half the time the pilots get too low and have to put their engines on... They are training and get it wrong! - Local pilot

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The Thanet Daily is a humour/satire/local gossip blog based on the Isle of Thanet in Kent. Opinions expressed on this site may not be suitable for minors, wilting flowers, or duffers. The content, opinions and comments contained in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of its author(s), fictional or otherwise. The Thanet Daily accepts no responsibility legal or otherwise for their accuracy of content. The Thanet Daily is not responsible for the content of external internet sites. Actually, if truth be told, the whole thing is a crock of shit.