Many people say I am a strong guy. People always thought I would have strong and tough heart inside. They said, “Kau takpe Sar. Hati kering.” Some made me as their inspiration, source of strength. But, sincerely, I did not know which part of me would have been their inspiration. I always thought that I am the weakest guy in the world. Just standing far behind those who are always thousand miles ahead, in front of me.

On the day I went to Madam Rita’s office, receiving my exam result, my heart was a bit shocked with those grades printed on the result sheet. I never thought to have D grade for Biology, and even U grade (Unclassified) for one of the 6 Units for Biology. At once, I felt like my parents call were overwhelming me. It was like what I should tell my mother and my father for that underperformer grades. It was the only moment that I could not think rationally. But still, I could bear a smile on my face, since my closest friends were enveloped by sadness and tears. What should I say to you guys? You did achieved a better result than I am, why would you still crying and feeling bad? It is me who should be crying on the floor with grief. You guys still can pursue your study for medicine surely, but do am I?

I’m still alive and barely breathing. There’s no wise words can stop the bleeding.
:Breakeven-The Script

People would say, there must be reasons why one thing happens. Right? Yeah. I always believe in that quote. And He won’t give problems to us if we could not bear with them. People would say, just be patient. Just put your trust in Him, and my day will come. But when is my day? When is that day for me? Hmm. Still, I believe in Him.

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need.
:Fix You-Coldplay

Since that day (the day I received my result), my phone was flooded with messages, as well as my FB comments. Thank you for those who were concerned about me. But still, as I posted on my status a few weeks ago, it was not the courage that one’s needs when he got a problem, but a solution which could help him out from the problem overwhelmed. People said, courage could drive ones to fight and stand up to face the obstacle. But still, where is the solution? When there is no instant solution, thousand comfy words still did not work. A sorry is just a sorry.

For now, I am being sick to wait one after another my medicine application being rejected while people are updating their status, news and goodbye wishes to Malaysians. Yeah, I admit that was my biggest mistake in my life to take A-Level exam just for too granted. All I knew the exam should be like hell easy and now I am suffering watching my friends, one after another, going to leave for overseas to pursue Medicine. Good luck to you guys! Be a good doctor, a progressive and intellectual Muslim okay?

It is still too early to announce. But half of my mind and soul says, I will divert my course from Medicine to Biomedical Science, if my applications for Medicine receive negative answers from the universities. As my passion says, I want to be a Forensic Pathologist (specialist one) and will be one of it, InsyaAllah. Let us all pray for our success, okay?

Exam result only kills the opportunity, but not the passion.

Last wishes. To my guardian, be strong wherever you are, okay? Allah has destined us at two different places, but our destination is same, right? His Jannah. To my brothers, keep your heads high and do never afraid of challenges coming. I pray for your success, fiddunya wal akhirah. All the best all of you!