As we all know when one's soul leaves the body they go to Heaven where an endless Beer Volcano erupts and stripper factories as far as the eye can see. But what of those who have not followed FSM truly and have disobeyed thy noodly master. Sooooooo? Is there a devil or form of hell? Hmmmm? I pledge my soul to thee

The Gospel According to Ken
"And thus his noodly appendage reached from the heavens and from it sprung the mountain, trees, and a midgit. And let it be known that spelling of midgit his how his lord and master created it. And for a time it was good..."

It's quite simple, you get to go to the same heaven with the beer volcano and the stripper factory. You just start out farther away from the aforementioned delights, and you have to walk a little to get to them, and work up a nice thirst....

Isn't the FSM nice...?

Laughing in the rain.
Dancing in the desert sand,
Somersaults through life.

I don't think we know what FSM does with people who insist on being punished, though. I'm sure there are a lot of people who would be extremely disappointed not to burn forever. I don't understand them, but there's a lot I don't understand about people.

fusiontortellini wrote:I don't think we know what FSM does with people who insist on being punished, though. I'm sure there are a lot of people who would be extremely disappointed not to burn forever. I don't understand them, but there's a lot I don't understand about people.

If someone really needs punishment, THEY get to wash dishes in the Bottomless Dish Pit.. it's hot and dark and your undies are always soaked in dishwater. I'll make sure to burn the hell out of a few pans a night just to keep them scrubbing extra hard. We'll still send 'em down a pint at the end of the shift though.

The stripper factory creates what they desire, so their strippers will probably have clothes, until they loosen up a bit. Remember, much of their morality and perception of sin is based on trying to follow the rules for getting into Heaven... once they're there, it'll be a little easier for them to adopt the Flimsy Moral Standards.

After consuming much Guinness Stout one night, I had a vison revealed to me by his Noodlyness....

FSM Hell is EXACTLY like FSM Heaven --- except the beer volcano only issues forth stale keg beer, and the stripper factory only issues out a likeness of Janet Reno....

It's too horrible to contemplate..........

...

Biker

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