Reading Between the Lines:
Getting straight answers from the White House is never
easy. Presidents are notorious for saying one thing but
meaning another. So, after George W. Bushs March 6
press conference on Iraq, we asked a team of psychics to
tell us what he -- and some of the reporters -- were
really thinking.

President Bush: Good evening. Im
pleased to take your questions tonight. Translation: I beg of you, no math
questions.

Bush: We are determined to confront
threats wherever they arise. Translation: Except in North Korea.
Their government has missiles that can hit our West Coast,
but hey, California didnt vote for me anyway.

Reporter: Mr. President, how would you
answer your critics who say that they think this is
somehow personal ... [that] your fixation with
Saddam Hussein is making the world a more dangerous place?Translation: By critics,
I mean me. But I cant admit
that or I wont appear to be objective.

Bush: I believe Saddam Hussein is a threat
to the American people. And Ive got good evidence
to believe that. Translation: Were pretty sure he
has a voodoo doll that looks like a map of the United
States and that he is willing to stick pins into it.

Bush (after being asked whether hell
seek a U.N. resolution on Iraq even if he might not have
enough votes): No matter what the whip count is, were
calling for the vote. Translation: Im not worried
about getting enough votes. You saw what I did in Florida.

Bush: Great Britain, Spain and the United
States have introduced a new resolution stating that Iraq
has failed to meet the requirements of Resolution 1441.Translation (with apologies to the Beatles):
You say you want a resolution, well you know, we dont
listen to the world. You tell me that its
intervention, well you know, we dont listen to the
world. But if you go protesting war like Martin Sheen, Ill
order our jets to blow you to smithereens.

Bush: We will be changing the regime of
Iraq for the good of the Iraqi people. Translation: We will be changing the
regime of Iraq so American SUV drivers dont have to
take out second mortgages to afford a tank of gas.

Bush: We will give [humanitarian workers
and U.N. inspectors] a chance to leave Iraq [before we
launch our attack]. We dont want anybody in harms
way who shouldnt be in harms way. The
journalists who are there should leave. Translation: Except Dan Rather.