EVENTS

Homeopathic birth control

I think this new birth control method will face the same problem they all do: the wacky abstinence-only crowd will reject it.

But then I had a brilliant idea: instead of making it with a homeopathic dilution of fetuses, I’m going to market a birth control pill made homeopathically from astronomically well-diluted penises. I’ve always wanted to be a billionaire.

I think we should use this as a test. Ask someone who believes that bullshit if they’ll use homeopathic birth control. If they say yes, then we can prove them wrong when they end up pregnant. If they say no, then they’ve admitted that homeopathy doesn’t work.

But then I had a brilliant idea: instead of making it with a homeopathic dilution of fetuses, I’m going to market a birth control pill made homeopathically from astronomically well-diluted penises. I’ve always wanted to be a billionaire.

The homeopathy crowd are so woo-soaked and credulous they would probably snap it up.

Hell, just sell them small phials of water and say that the penis is diluted to a concentration of one part penis to 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 parts water. You know, the same as most other homeopathic remedies. If they start asking questions, just mumble something about ‘water memory’. That’s bound to shut them up.

Gregory Greenwood says:
3 October 2011 at 7:58 pm
But then I had a brilliant idea: instead of making it with a homeopathic dilution of fetuses, I’m going to market a birth control pill made homeopathically from astronomically well-diluted penises. I’ve always wanted to be a billionaire.

The homeopathy crowd are so woo-soaked and credulous they would probably snap it up.

Hell, just sell them small phials of water and say that the penis is diluted to a concentration of one part penis to…

That’s it!! Use a flaccid penis, and put Viagra out of business!! We’re* fucking(ahem) rich!!!! And use a small flaccid pecker!!!!!! We’ll make quadrillions, ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa……..

a birth control pill made homeopathically from astronomically well-diluted penises

Where would you get those, though? You’d have to convince some guy to apply friction to his penis, enough to abrade a few penis skin cells for collection. But I can’t imagine a man wanting to have such a sensitive area touched that way.

The homeopathic way to become a billionaire is simpler than that. You just leave a dollar bill in your pocket next time you do the wash. Then take a few drops of the water and dilute it a few more times. The resulting solution should make you rich (by selling it to idiots while telling them it will make them rich).

a birth control pill made homeopathically from astronomically well-diluted penises

Where would you get those, though? You’d have to convince some guy to apply friction to his penis, enough to abrade a few penis skin cells for collection. But I can’t imagine a man wanting to have such a sensitive area touched that way.

Based on the homeopathic “principles” I’ve heard about, all you’d need to do is dip some guy’s junk in water, then dilute the water a bunch more times, and voila!

This looks like a hoax. I don’t think it contains any human fetus.
I had a great idea for homeopathics. Putting the “special ingredient” in water tends to short out the electrochemical potentials within the quantum nano structure dampening the effect. Why not use photons as a carrier of the medicinal effect? Reflect photons off the special ingredient (or fetus), and adsorb the photons in the water. The water will have impressed upon it the magical effects passed on by the photons. A much cleaner, and more potent homeopathic remedy!

It’s like the little pest-repeller sonic clicker I bought. In addition to plugging the damn thing in, I also have to seal all the holes in my house, and make sure there are no crumbs. Uh, if I do the last 2 things, why do I need the clicker? And yes, I waited to read the package until I was home. Dumb, I know

I recently attended a seminar on alternative techniques for gardening, Eco-construction and related topics. During one of the courses, a woman and her newborn baby came to visit. Somebody explained me that she was last year’s teacher for “natural contraception”.