How Little They Know, How Great The Cost

July 30, 1990|By Ann Landers.

Dear Ann Landers: That letter from the 16-year-old girl who was pregnant and wouldn`t talk to the school nurse because she didn`t want to stop playing basketball reminded me of something that happened when I was in college. Every word of this is true, so help me.

A 20-year-old dorm resident appeared to be putting on a lot of weight. When a friend approached her about it, she said she had been eating too many sweets and was definitely going on a diet. Finally, one of the professors told her that she certainly looked pregnant and, if she wasn`t, she must have a tumor and ought to see a doctor about it at once. The girl promised to make an appointment the next day.

That very night she went to the bathroom, locked the door, went into labor and delivered a baby on the bathroom floor.

The girl swore that she had no idea she was pregnant. When her boyfriend was notified of the birth, he nearly went into shock. Her parents, who`d seen her a few weeks before, claimed that they didn`t notice anything unusual about her except that she`d gained a few pounds.

Dear Ann Landers: The letter about the pregnant high school girl who wouldn`t talk to the school nurse hit home.

I was 15 when I got pregnant. I fainted at school and was taken to the school nurse. I had an idea that I might be pregnant, but I didn`t want to face it, so I blocked it out. The nurse called my mother, and I was so ashamed I nearly died.

This happened in 1972, and you didn`t hear much about teenage pregnancy in those days. Had I been honest with the nurse from the beginning, she probably would have helped me stay in school and graduate, pregnant or not.

I now have a 17-year-old son who was raised by my mother. It was unfair of me to put the responsibility on her. She had already raised her own family, but I was so immature and irresponsible I didn`t know what else to do.

All young girls who are sexually active should go to their mothers or the school nurse and learn about birth control, so they can stay in school and get a good education. Then they wouldn`t have two or three kids one after the other and end up on welfare, which is a dead-end street.

I`m a waitress with no benefits, no retirement, no vacation pay and no future. I can`t blame anyone but myself. Please, girls, listen to someone who`s been around the block a few times. It`s stupid to mess up your life when there are people out there who will help you. I`ll pay forever for being so dumb.

California Story

Dear California: If my arithmetic is right you are now about 33, still a young woman by today`s standards. It`s not too late to get your high school diploma and go on from there. Call any high school and ask how to go about it. Once you get your diploma, consider night classes at a community college. You`ll learn something, gain self-esteem and meet others in your age group who are trying to make something of their lives. Remember, the only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions. Get going and good luck, honey. ----------

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