Thursday, June 8, 2017

Theater Whore: Wonder Woman

Wonder
Woman 5/10

I
decided to watch Wonder Woman despite saying I wouldn't. If you've
read my movie reviews this is not something new. I tend to shit on
movies and end up watching them. This movie has such a simple premise
that it makes no sense to say there will be spoilers. It also has a
lot of actors that I won't bother naming because there are a lot of
“that guy from that film” character actors in this. The story is
pretty much Wonder Woman, aka Princess Diana, played by Gal Gadot
leaves Themyscira after a plane carrying Trevor Rogers played by
Chris Pine lands there. She saves his ass and then leaves with him to
see the world and kill ze Germans.

This
all takes place during World War 1 but before all that the movie
begins with an armored truck from Wayne Enterprises shows up and
delivers a case to Diana. This took place in Batman V Superman. Its a
photo of her time during the war which means this entire movie is a
flashback. Kinda sucks because since we know her ass is okay well
into the 2000's we know she is not going to die so that removes any
sense of danger. That also mean I really have to care about these
characters which I didn't. Not really. Like I said, the supporting
characters were just soldiers that I knew from other movies and
Amazons that were tough women of different ethnicities that were
killed by bullets. I was pissed about that by the way. But not Wonder
Woman! She is bullet proof.

Sometimes.

I also
have to point out that the little girl, not the teen version, of
Wonder Woman was horrible. I have a thing about bad child actors and
this little girl was just terrible! I was like “Just wave to the
camera!” I know it sounds like I hated this movie but I didn't. It
is not a terrible film. Its just not as good as I was hoping and I
had close to zero hope for this. Wonder Woman is my favorite female
comic book character (click here, here, and here to check out
Wonder Woman stuff I've made) and I just want an awesome film version
of her or at least a TV show. Is this better than Batman V Superman
or Man Of Steel (which gets worse for me after reviewing)? Yeah. But
that isn't difficult. A coffee fueled shit is better than those. But
this turned into those films at the end. It was such a confusing mass
of chaos. The villains were comic book villains in the worst way.
Every scene with them was like some movie I would never want to
watch.

I'm
not looking forward to a sequel or any of the other films connected
with this one since its just been a weird convoluted mess from the
start. Gadot is fine as Wonder Woman. Pine is...Pine as Trevor. There
was just nothing that stood out about this and nothing that made me
hate it. Mostly meh about the whole thing really.