"Hello, 911? This weird-ass Chevy Cobalt is following me. I don't know who it is, but the dude keeps pulling alongside and asking if he can 'view' my 'street.' Is that slang for something dirty? Am I being assaulted?"

Google, if you're out there, we have a small request: We want to drive one of these things. Give us the keys to an underpowered fleetbox with a tumor on its roof and let us keep it for a day or two. Some of us live in the Bay Area; we could pick the car up at the home office. Please?

We like people. We like cameras. We promise not to stalk anyone. Much.