the New York Post reported last Thursday that having oral sex with more than 6 partners increases the chance of getting throat cancer.

I can't fuckin' find my copy of the New York Post (which I religiously buy everyday en route to work at 6:00 am..hahahahahaha.. who knew I would ever subscribe to the Post over the Times?? hahahahahaha) I'm gonna provide you with the quote from USATODAY..

"Researchers have linked oral sex to a type of throat cancer, saying that those who engaged in the sexual act with more than six partners over the course of their lifetime were nine times more likely to develop oropharyngeal cancer"

NINE FOLD?!!!!

Tsktsktsk..

I am aghast.

It also says that oral infection of Human Papillioma Virus (the virus that CAUSES CERVICAL cancer) can cause throat cancer IRRELEVANT of tobacco and/or alcohol use. That means that you can smoke and drink all you want and still have LESS risk factors than giving someone a blowjob.

Now what is the HPV? Well, the HPV is a DNA-based virus that infects the skin and mucuous membranes.. they usually cause warts.. (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!)

hahahaha.. I can't stop laughing..

Just something to think about the next time (guys and gals) you decide to service someone.. hahahahahahahahahahaha..

Friday, May 11, 2007

There's no time for us... There's no place for us... What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us?...

Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?

Fitting words Freddie.

Bands nowadays (especially Filipino bands..sad to say) bore me to death.. I have honestly been sick to the point of inducing auditory hemmorhage just to block out those infernal sounds they coin "music".. WTF?! Sure I would "like" one or two of their songs. But as for the rest of their repertoire.. I could hardly care less if they were forgotten in the annals of music history.. never to be heard from again.

Only one band has broken this stereotype for me. Again, sad to say, it's not a Filipino band. It's actually on the other side of the world. In that little island we call Great Britain. The great and eternal Queen!

GAD!! I am suffering from major Queen-addiction these past few days!!I have honestly scoured the recesses of YouTube for their live concert videos and have watched them OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

For some reason, Queen's songs are always poignant and magical. The fantasy is always alive and there is a massive need to interpret their usually cryptic and mysterious lyrics(seriously, WTF does Scarramouoch mean?).

And the people love them. In their 1986 concert, they filled the whole Wembley Arena in London. It looked like you couldn't drop a needle in that pit of carbon entities all jumping up and down to the beat of We Will Rock You or Under Pressure.

AND THIS!! QUEEN SEEMED LIKE THE LEADER OF A FUCKIN' RELIGION!!! AND THE PEOPLE ALL IN A TRANCE!!!! (WATCH IT FUCKERS!!!)

Even though Freddie Mercury (may he rest in peace) has a massively fugly overbite, HE IS SO FUCKIN' HOT!!!

But when he wore his hair long... he kinda looked like a tranny... hahahahahahahahahaha..

And my fave song of all.. No other than the legendary Bohemian Rhapsody..It honestly makes my hair raise.. awooo!

Freddie.. wherever you are... YOU ROCK!! I loove your costumes!!! Leotards.. capes..crowns.. WOW!! GLAM ROCK FASHION!! As for Brian May though.. he looks like a mess slouching in that oversized jacket... tsk tsk.. hehehehehehe

Friday, May 4, 2007

GAD!!! I am so in love with Mr. Deutscheman!! I want to have all of his babies!! hahahaha!!

okok.. let me compose myself and recount the day that has just transpired-- which is probably the most tiring, yet sensuous one for me to date here in ze US.

Things were going well with me and Mr. Deutscheman. I was kinda dancing around their table during breakfast (hahahaha!! in a non-pole-dancer way of course!!) to the beat of Vertigo by U2.. hahaha.. and then he approached me and then we once again exchanged beguiling banter (at this point I wanted to jump him and just do the deed in front of everyone--on the long table perhaps).

I actually asked for his email address. To my dismay, he said he has no time for email so he doesn't have one (I'm not sure if I believe this) and he exclaimed how ancient he was. (ugh)

I was kinda disappointed with that. I thought "maybe he just doesn't want to give it to me." So my day started to go downhill. The negative energy radiating from me at that time spread to my environment. And as a result, I was tasked to clean the snack closet-- an impossible feat by oneself. GGGRRR. I am still reeling from that snack-closet thing.

Lunch came. He wasn't talking to me. I was pissed-off mad. I was trying to maintain my composure and smile by thinking happy thoughts.. thinking of Ugly Betty last night.. of payday later on today.. and of the weekend. This kinda confirmed to me that he just didn't want to give me his email address. FUCK.

The only exchange in between us was his "thank you (my name)."

I resolved to just brush the while thing off and just complain to my co-worker, Kelly, about it.

Kelly wasn't around. So my rants were still bottled up. I worked at the cafe for around 2 hours. Then some of the Bb.U students came up for a taste of the expensive stuff we offer there..hehehe..

Tracy, a Bb.U student who says that she lusts after a lot of people (as in a lot) although she's married, (hahahaha. She likes one of the stylists.. hahaha..) and Laura, another Bb.U student, gossiped with me. And then Mr. Deutscheman went up and bought some products. Before he left, Tracy greeted him and said "Guten Tag!" He came over and talked to them while I was standing on the sides....feeling ignored.

Then after he said goodbye to them he faced me and took my hand, and with that smile that could make me cream my pants in an instant, told me "It was so nice to meet you. Grow taller and visit me in Germany".. hahahahahahahaha!! I swear.. even if it was that cheesy and probably meant nothing, I started to melt like mush.

I said "When I go to Europe (which I will once I am able to save enough money), and I happen to drop by Stuttgart, I'll try and find you."

He said "You should!"

"Where are you working again?"

"(Salon Name that I can't understand coz it's in German)"

"I'll just look up your contacts at the Bumble network. That ok?"

"PERFECT!"

and then we shook hands and he left.

I was soooooooooooooooooooooo drugged up at that point.. hehehe..

Then I left too to deposit my check at the bank. On my way home, guess who I met at the street?

"Hopefully I see you in the future"

"I hope so"

IT'S DESTINY I TELL YOU!!!!

And oh oh oh!! Yesterday, when Aaron, one of the senior stylists, was asking me where I was from, it was Mr. Deutscheman who answered him.

"He's from the Philippines."

I love him so much. hahahahahahahahaha.

I can't stop staring at his photograph!!

I can't wait to go to Germany...for the day when I'll bend over and start screaming--"Mr. Deutscheman inseminate me!!!"

He's German.. Mid-thirties (DADDY!!!!) He's from Stuttgart.. He has gray eyes.. He has a strong jaw line.. He has a strong nose bridge.. And his ass is sooooooooooooo perky.. hahahahahaha!!

He initially caught my eye in the morning when I was preparing the class' petite dejourner. He smiled at me.. I smiled back.

The flames opf conversation did not light til they had their break at around 11 in the morning. He bit the apples that were provided to them and he made a comment how delicious they were. I said that they were freshly STOCKED(hahahahaha!) everyday. And then we exchanged beguiling banter(my sort of foreplay).

The funny thing is, when they had gone, I found myself singing mushy and cheesy songs all of a sudden. Imagining hypothetical situations, some too graphic to explicate. Then I made it a point to provide them all (with Mr. Deutscheman..that's what I'll call him..as the focal point) with a fun and delectable dejourner.. Pathetic ain't it? hehehehehe..

However, two days from now, he'll be back on a plane for Stuttgart... Sad....

That's why tomorrow and on Friday, I will dress like I've never dressed (in a non-formal event) before..

I need to take a photograph oh him.. I SHALL USE THE POWER OF THE SECRET!!!!!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

I hate ZOMBIES.. and I hate Zombie movies for showing zombies.. It is my utmost belief that the world could do without zombie movies. SERIOUSLY.. why are there zombie films out there anyway? Is it really necessary to show decaying masses of humanity eating the flesh and innards of man? Can I just say EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

SERIOUSLY!!

I hate them more because of the fact that when I happen to chance upon a movie like Resident Evil, or Dawn of the Dead, I cannot help but stay tuned and watch it. It's as if some mysterious cosmic force if pulling my will away. Like it's saying "Watch it!! So you'll have nightmares!! I command you to fuck yourself with horror movies!!!"..

So yeah, after that shit, I'd be unable to sleep at all. But I cannot stop myself from watching!!!!

But I chanced upon a movie that really piqued my interest.. not my fear, disgust and impulsive degradation of willpower.. SHAUN OF THE DEAD..

Seriously!

That movie is the shit!!! It's one of the funniest, scariest, and saddest movies I have ever seen. ALL IN ONE ONE and a HALF HOUR FILM!! WEEEEHH!!

It's basically a spoof of Dawn of the Dead.. Shaun is this loser-esque guy who fumbles his work and love life to a quagmire.. as he is trying to fix it, zombies start to appear and destroy civilization in their city. He then rescues his mum(and step-dad) and subsequently, his girlfriend(+ her friend, and stalker-ish guy friend who's gaga over her) and they head to the pub to hide..

Unfortunately.. his stepdad becomes a zombie.. so does his mum... the sad part was when he had to shoot his own mum... it was like.... probably the most painful thing a child could feel... I shed a tear for that... so did Shaun..

eventually..when it seemed like all hope was lost and none but 2 (Shaun and girlfriend) remained non-undead, the British Army came in and slaughtered the scourge.. HOOORAY FOR THE BRITS!!!

My favorite scene was when the stalker-ish friend of Shaun's girlfriend got eaten by zombies... the zombies literally tore his stomach open and feated on his innards... I was trying to upload an image but I could not copy it...aaaaawww....

sorry I've been away for such a long time. I feel like I've let down my 5 readers. AAAAWW.. you know I love you guys.. :)

anyway, what's been happening? Well, my cellphone dilemma has finally been resolved. Cingular has atoned for its sins against humanity and fixed my phone. Thank gawd! So my fingers are starting to work again after almost 3 months of being in suspended animation... I am back!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

It's really funny that now that Sanjaya is no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Mod..er.. to be the American Idol, people start saying he shouldn't have been voted off. Nice one guys. You are ALL such fuckin' hypocrites!! FUCK!! YOUR HYPOCRISY SURPASSES ANY SEMBLANCE OF SENTIENT MORALITY. GAWD!!

First off, fuckers, you bombast that he should be booted off the show coz he's got no talent. But afterwards he's now like a demagogue in your eyes. WTF?! Have backbones and stick to your statements bitches! I'm 100000000000% sure that majority of the people who now talk non-stop about how sweet and awesome Sanjaya is declared with a passion their hatred towards him when he was still in the running to be ANTM..(America's Next Top Manganganta.. hahahahahahahahahaha.. FUCK!!!)

Second, I was perusing the comments on Rickey.org a while ago.. and there were people who commented that people should ignore the Idol Gives Back shit and just donate money to their charities, are you ready for this? IN SANJAYA'S NAME!!!! WTF?! I quote from the commenters first few sentences.... "IF YOU CAN'T TRUST THEM WITH YOUR VOTES.. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU TRUST THEM WITH YOUR MONEY?" There goes the fuckin' conspiracy theory again people. SANJAYA RECEIVED THE FUCKIN' LOWEST VOTES THAT WEEK.... DEAL WITH IT!!!

I am terribly disgusted by the fact that most of the comments I saw on Rickey's site were all about how boring the show was.. or how stupid it was that no one was eliminated.. or how Sanjaya's non-active participation made the show boring.. the show was meant to be more than that MORONS!! you fuckin' imbeciles!! now I know why the world is suffering such moral and social degradations.. it's because of degenerates like you who have no fuckin' idea of the horrors that these people in Africa and elsewhere face.. ALL YOU WANT IS YOUR SANJAYA!!!!

THE HECK WITH THE WORLD AND HELPING END WORLD POVERTY!!! SANJAYA SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

Yesterday, after going out on what was the most beautiful day in New York that I have witnessed since I was exiled here, my mum and I had a bit of a chat.

She finally gave in to my implorations. I am no longer to be forced to live my college life out as a miserable nursing student.

HOOOORAY!!

The terms of my involuntary exile that made me convulse like a slut in heat were these:

As such that I am now in the Land of Opportunity, I must grab the said opportunity by the balls and jerk him off like there's no tomorrow... i.e. Be a nurse so that I can get money to satisfy my" obstinate lifestyle" (yep. my mom said I had an obstinate lifestyle. WTF?!).

I was going to enroll in the City University of New York's Laguardia Community College because it is sooooooooooooo fuckin' affordable/cheap that paying for it won't require them to sweat blood and sell organs in the black market.

That once I graduated with an Associate's Degree(A 2 YEAR COURSE!! GAWD!! I NEVER IMAGINED!! MY EGO SHRIVELED LIKE A USED CONDOM), I would work as a registered nurse.

All of these pieces of shit terms came about because the geriatrics in this house thought, with a passion that bordered on ordering me, that just because I am a Filipino I would not be able to rise among the ranks and would forever remian in the cesspools of the rank and file people.

WTF?!

So anyway, since I got a job and the benefits are so fuckin' awesome.. my mom has now changed her mind. And has allowed me to pursue what I really want.. which is in the field of Politics/Diplomacy/Economics..

Finally.. I was like almost going to give up on my supplications.. almost sent my application.. hahahahahahahha!!

Oh..and by the way.. this in no way diminishes my respect for nurses.. It's just that I have no desire to be one.. and so forcing me to become one makes me twitch..

Friday, April 20, 2007

Last Saturday, one of my closest friends in ze entire world, Ermalyn, celebrated her 18th birthday. Unfortunately for them, I was not in the country to grace the party with my presence. But to make up for the absence, I just sent them a video which I SHALL NOT SHOW YOU GUYS.. hahahahahahahahahaha!!

Anyway, just for the heck of it, let me show you some photographs of the event that I am so fuckin' sad that I wasn't able to go to....

Ermalyn(in orange) the PRINCE.. and Candy (in purple..as always) the PRINCESS of VALENZUELA.. land of the floods and floating fridgiders..

BARAKUDA SORONITY.. Lesbos of the world UNITE!! LONG LIVE THE QUEE...er...KI...QUUEN?!! hahahahahaha!!

I'm glad that Linnaeus is well represented here... someone is trying to return to the fold he left.... TRY HARDER.. FIND THE MISFIT GUYS!!!

**update on the SHOE saga...

I could no longer take the pain as I was "ramping" along 14th street this afternoon. So, wearing my oversized glasses, I passed by this shoe store and bought myself a pair of loafers... i have blisters on my feet.. GGGRRRRR.. FASHION!!!!!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I just got my $90-worth haircut(Dennise I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!).. and I refuse to let the weather desecrate it in any manner at all. I will wage all-out war against anyone who shall dare to mock me.

Yes ladies and gents.. I work for the Gay Church.. the hair salon. The gym is subordinate to the hair salon.. coz there are gay people out there that dont have gym-bodies.. but no self respecting gay man would EVER have BAD HAIR!!!!!!! Are you with me?! hahahaha

I've just been in it for 2 days and already, drama is afoot.. I'm not involved in it... but the gossiping makes me soooooooo happy.

And there.. they take the science of hair really personally. IT'S LIKE THEIR LIFE!! MYGAWD!! As I was cleaning out their food stuffs, I could not help but overhear their discussions on improving their technique and how they really lust for hairstyling-stardom! *HOORAH!!* PEOPLE PAY HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS (CHACHING!!) just to be able to attend a week-long seminar with Bumble&bumble. (the '.' is included in their name..hahaha!) and get serviced by the Catering staff(hihihihihihi).

The only downside is the lack of color... remember the all-black dress code?.. and the fact that my shoes are hurting my feet like CRAZY!!!! Fashionable shoes, according to Dennis(co-worker DIFFERENT from Dennise), is a luxury we have to give up in that job. My feet feel like they're about to explode and bleed to death.

--interjection--*i need a credit card.. seriously.. I was out looking for a coat a while ago and I found this fabulous Naval Peacoat.... great fit!!!!! I almost died of happiness... Checked the price.. $128.. what I have in my wallet... $120... gggggggrrrrrrr.... MONEY!!!! GIMME MONEY!!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The idiot who didn't get that should be sentenced to eternity cleaning FatBastard's toilet.

Yeah, smart dude! ME!!

I'm now an employee of Bumble&Bumble, the salon I was refering to in my "Price I Gotta Pay" post. And free haircuts and products are just some of the perks. Gawd. That sounds SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO gay.

The fundraising thing was not working. My body paid the price for standing outside all day in the moody New York weather.

So I left. Ergo, I am an office-buddy. Fuck. I thought I was an outdoors guy. gggrr. Sad though.. I love helping kids...

So to prepare for my new venture, I went shopping today to be able to comply with the dresscode. ALL BLACK. Yeah yeah. I know. I said people who wear all-black stuff are losers. But before you chastise me for it, let me just say that it is not my choice. It is a required thing.

SUE ME!

I need a credit card.

Let me itemize what I "owe" my rents...

Black chino pants(Urban Outfitters)- $48

Black military long sleeved-shirt(Urban Outfitters)- $29

Black solid polo(American Eagle)- $24.50

Black long-sleeved sweater(ExpressMen)- $20

Black long-sleeved casual buttoned shirt(H&M)- $20

I am starting to be sick of black. I NEED MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone wanna gimme money? GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!!

Oh! and a baby! While I was in the trains a while ago, there was this baby that kept saying "hat..hat..hat..hat..house..house.."

He was sooooooo cute I wanted to eat him.. hihihi..

*End of Verbal Diarrhea*

here's the paperbag that caught my attention. Boy, Abercrombie and American Eagle sure know how to tickle people's fancy. What do you say about this bag, eh? Methinks he's getting, or thinknig of getting a blowjob.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Museum of Sex: Dedicated to the exploration of the history, evolution, and cultural development of human sexuality.

It's in 233 5th Ave., New York, NY 10016

I just LURV New York.

Took this picture yesterday as I was on my way midtown. I didn't go in for 2 reasons.. ONE.. it was closed. TWO.. I don't have enough street cred yet. Let me go around first.. hihihihi.

Ok. Enough of Slutinella. Today marks the re-awakening of Le Nerd.

Let me ask you, dear readers(especially the guys), a question. When you see a man, what parts of him do you look at?

A recent study conducted by marketing researchers showed that while women just usually stare at the faces of men, men look at the face and the crotch area.

Here's a photograph with a "stare-scale" to accentuate my point.

I think the photograph speaks for itself. That's not blood you see there ladies and gentlemen. The baseball player did not cut his cock off. That is the amount of stares at his crotch that this baseball player got from men.

Now, I know why gay guys and bisexual people would look at that. (giggles) but why would straight men do that too? The study apparently encompassed all sexual orientations so gays, bis and straights all looked at BaseBall player's crotch.

Monday, April 9, 2007

i will be updating soon guys and gals. I am just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired.

For the meantime, let me titilate you with another Pedj and Kelly video. THEY ARE JUST SO FUCKIN' CUTE!!!!

and they're only 19(pedj) and 18(kelly)!! gggrrr.. I frikkin' look like a 12 year old. Why the fuck is it that Asians look soooooooooooo juvenile? I have been mistaken on the streets as a 14 year old to be totally honest.. GGGRRR... and their blog gets up to 3,000 comments a post.

Why the fuck are they straight?? wehehehehe..

SPICE GIRLS!! hahahaha!! I should've guessed that I would turn out to be non-heterosexual when I became engrossed with their music.. hahahahahahahahaha!!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

I wasn't supposed to blog today. But when I came across this awesome awesome video, I knew I had to muster all iota of mental energy I could and broadcast it to my 5 readers. LOOOOOOOL.

EUROPEAN PORN AT ITS BEST!! EuroPorn beats out AmericanPorn by 1000000%. hahaha!! Take that AmericanPornographicIndustry!! I just love Europe. It's a land of history, of beauty and of hotness!! The people are so dang hot!!!!

ESPECIALLY THE FRENCH!! I met 5 french dudes last week in the streets of New York and they were all nice! I like dropped whatever I could drop coz they were soooooooo fuckin' sexy. GAWD!! hotflash in the middle of midtown mahattan!!!!!

WATCH THIS VIDEO FOR YOUR DOSE OF EUROPORN!!!!!!

hahahahaha!!DID ANYONE REALLY FUCKIN' BELIEVE THAT I WOULD PUT REAL PORN ON MY BLOG?!!!! HELLO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! These 2 are French Blog superstars Pedj and Kelly. THEY ARE ALL THE RAVE IN THE FRENCH BLOGGING COMMUNITY. They are like the root of couple blogging in the gay community in Europe; the big brother of what many filipino-queens now drool over, tiggah and pooh. LOL. BUT... THEY'RE BOTH STRAIGHT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Their eyes reak love and sex. LOOOL!! It seeps through their pores!!!!!! AND THEY'RE STRAIGHT!! new level!! hahaha!

I was all smiles when I watched this video. GAWD!! I LOVE THE FRENCH!!!! I want to make babies with them!! And I'll call my son Luc Alistair Rinalde or if it's a girl, Marie Dominique DelaCroix. LOOOOOL!!

THEY'RE BOTH HOT... But Pedj (the brown haired one) is SOOOOO frikkin' "fuck-me-im-an-artiste"!!

If you could understand French (i could understand like....words and phrases) visit their blog at pedjkelly.skyblog.com

Friday, March 30, 2007

hello good readers! I just got home from watching Blades of Glory with my teammates. The movie ended at like 10pm and I had to walk to the train station. The streets were still very crowded though(DOI!)

well... I'm still quite iffy about my job. I love the mission and vision of the opportunity, but I do not know if I am fit for it. I wanna help the kiddies out there who need help.. but I am having quite a hard time stopping people to talk to me. Basically the charity is paying me for not doing them anything if I get less then 3 sign ups a day. I just get 1 usually. FUCK.

I stand on the streets for 7 hours and exclaim in a somewhat animated voice " Hi sir/ma'am! You got a moment to help babies?" and yet people all around seem to conspire to say "NO".

What's even more frustrating is that in my experience, asians are the most difficult to stop. They, who moved to this country, to this city, in search of a better life do not even stop and think about helping those who aren't as lucky as they are, living in a majestic city like NYC. What's worse is that most of them are really well-off. They come out of macy's or bloomingdales with a lot of paperbags and then it's like you don't exist. I FUCKING WANNA STRANGGLE THEM EVERYTIME I SEE THEM AND THEY IGNORE ME AND MY TEAMMATES.

FUCK YOU AND YOUR CHANEL GLASSES BITCHES!!

and filipinos are no exception to that observation. THEY ABSOLUTELY HAVE NOT STOPPED FOR ME. even if I speak in tagalog for them they will not stop. the fuck?! at least stop and listen to your kababayan spill his guts out and swallow his pride by begging people on the streets to give him your time! Gawd. this is the first time that I have felt angst against flipz in general since militants. grrrr..

Let me make a list...

ASIANS WHO STOPPED FOR ME:

Singaporean guy who's broke but still sponsored a child

England-raised Asian who already sponsors 3 children in Africa

ASIANS WHO DIDN'T STOP FOR ME:

everyone else

I hope they're happy with their Dior perfume and Berkin bags. meanwhile a child in Sri Lanka has died due to dehydration caused by diarrhea. At least they have their Dior and Berkin.

Monday, March 26, 2007

tomorrow is my first day of being part of the global labor force, and I am nervous as hell. it would be one thing if I were back in Manila. But I'm in a strange place. and as much as I feel like I belong, there's always that little tinee impish voice that rains on my parade saying I'm a pathetic fool.

haven't worked for anything in my life except creeping my grades up by being some sort of a syncophant and according to ma'am soriano, a manipulative scatterbrain. LOL. I am now thrown at a double dilemma.

may the thought of Lea Salonga playing Fantine in Les Miz, earning rave reviews by the way, guide me tomorrow. ALLEZ, LEA! ALLEZ!!

we shall see..

tomorrow... we dine in hell!..err..i mean.. I go to work! (CRAPPY WORD PLAY!! SOMEONE WILL BE PUNISHED!)

Friday, March 23, 2007

I have been hired by one of the world's most innovative fundraising agencies (clearly, with that tagline, it's bound to be nouveau and unconventional!) to scour the streets of manhattan for kind-hearted people(like myself!) who are willing to be sponsors for children suffering privation in different parts of the world!

DialogueDirect's office was so not like what I had expected. I expected it to be sterile, white, and prim. Nuh-uh! It was colorful, teeny, and artsy! I fell in love with the office the moment I saw the photographs of the fundraisers on the wall. I knew that I had to get my photo there. It would be my primary mission!

*pose* *pout* *flash*

and the pay is not that bad! $73/day fixed+merit bonuses on how many sponsors you can sign up that day. You sign up 6 and you get $100 for that day. I NEED TO BE AS ALLURING AS POSSIBLE. lol!!!

Good thing the interview was sooooooo informal and fun. No more of that "towering interviewer who's gonna eat you alive" atmosphere. Claudia, my interviewer, was very accomodating. AND SHE WAS ENGLISH!! I just love the English! They're soooo perky!

Though it was raining today, I was smiling as I walked back towards the World Trade Center, I couldn't help but dance and hop and skip on the streets coz I'm so happy. Earning good money and making a difference. Now that is a job. I was yodelling too. a lot of people were looking at me. I think they thought I was crazy. But hey! This is New York! No one sane is allowed to live here!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH.. and by the way, SPRING HAS SPRUNG!! and because of that, I debuted my spring outfit on the streets of NYC today.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

forgive me for not being able to drop by your blogs lately people. I got so much on my mind these days that I have NO time to do a major bloghop. but rest assured that I shall grace your blogs with my presence this weekend.

I feel fat. I've been eating NON-STOP these past few days and I reckon I've gained 3 pounds or something. ARGH!! If I am to gain weight, at least let me grow taller yo! My non-stop comments about it is worrying my mom saying I might start to get anorexia from my non-stop bitching about how fat I am.

that's why I'm gonna impose a strict "NO CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM" rule on myself for the next month or two.

Gotta maintain my frikkin' hotness. LOOOOOL

I got a lot to blog about the next time I write my post. So please don't stop harassing my blog with your presence. It can tolerate it. LOOOL

Sunday, March 18, 2007

First of all, let me start this post b y saying Thank You, Muchos Gracias, Merci Beaucoup and all that stuff to all the people who greeted me. To all those who didn't... GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BLOG!! lol.. kidding.

So, as it is still very cold, I am still unable to go to church and revel in my being such an edifice of moral excellence. I stayed home and watched Survivor: Fiji on CBS.com. I haven't been able to watch it since it's on at the same time as Ugly Betty is on. And I'm more into Henry than I am into Survivor. But I decided to catch up.

And it has caused an epiphany in my part. An angel, sent by the higher-ups annunciated unto me the GOOD NEWS!

Lisi of Survivor Fiji pisses me off big time!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR HER TO GET VOTED OFF!! SHE'S GOT "BITCH" WRITTEN ALL OVER HER WHALE OF A BODY!!

she pissed me off enough for me to make my very first BITCH of the WEEK post..

3

2

1

Ok.. bitch feels like she's Queen of the Tribe coz they're the majority together with her bitch-contemporary Stacy. They're both bitches but Lisi is Queen Bitch.

When one of her tribemates fell ill she blabbed with her FAT mouth "I don't wanna take care of him, I just don't. I'm not a babysitter" (ok..im just paraphrasing. But trust me when I say she delivered it in a "WORSHIP ME I'M BETTER THAN YOU" way)

Karma got bitch back by making her fall face first onto the ground coz bitch was too fat to walk off the platform at a challenge.. lol.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

I got a lot of fantasies. A LOT. Like hot, sweaty Library Sex. LOL. In the dark aisles where no one goes to read anything except for the nerds- the textbook section. LOL.

But something piques my fancy more than that. And it's not really physical. It's more than that...I've always wanted to be called Querida.. LOL

Which brings us to TeleNovela#2... "La Usurpadora" The Usurper in English, L'usurper in French, and Ang Mang-aagaw in Tagalog.

Gabriella Spanic (Gawd I looooooooooooove her name!) stars as both Paola and Paulina. Two sisters separated at birth. Paola (you just know by her name that she's the bitch) grows up in luxury, and Paulina in poverty. Destiny seems to reunite the two when Paola vacations with her lover at the hotel where Paulina works as a maid. She then forces Paulina to take her place as Paola Braccho so she (the true Paola) could go touring around the world with her DirtyOldMan benefactor.

All goes well in the Braccho household. Paulina, falling in love with Paola's hubby, fills the mansion with affection and warmth. But just as everything is going smoothly, Paola decides to come back.

BITCH.

here's the entrada of the telenovela. Gawd, I thought after MariMar and Maria la del Barrio(which I will feature next time) RPN would no longer have any good telenovelas. But this one really took me and my family for one heck of a ride.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I feel so wretched, but I gotta say, I'm full to the brim and am about ready to burst! I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!!

I feel like Natalie Portman in "Anywhere But Here". I feel so trapped and I need to breathe!! Spending almost every waking hour, minute and second with the people you've been with for your entire life is gonna kill you. I SWEAR TO GAWD!! I WANT TO MOVE OUT!!!!

To anyone who's willing to give me $2000, I found this apartment in Washington Heights in Manhattan. Please send it to me via post. I WILL FUCKIN' THANK YO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND BE YOUR SLAVE FOR A WEEK!!!! If you're not gonna make me do a lot of cleaning I'll be your slave for a month!!!

Monday, March 12, 2007

Do you remember the shows you watched when you were a kid? Some say Looney Tunes or Disney characters. Well, Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse are great and all, but when I was a wee little boy, we didn't have cable. So no Looney or Disney for me.

Yeah, there was Power Rangers (which I have to admit, I really, really liked) But there were other shows that made me tune in everyday. School was never going to be an obstruction. Homework could always be set aside for 30 minutes to an hour.

Spanish TV hit Manila like a fuckin' tsunami. I was really enamoured by it. It was sooooo sexy and sooooo tense that I wasn't able to stop talking about it for a loooooooong time. My mom and our household helper back then were full of me asking this and that and commenting about this and that as well.

It was so huge that even Zebulon got it. So we got our little green, ghetto friend.

So let's take a journey back, shall we?

altogether now...

Thalia fever hit the Philippines with MariMar. And my golly, it was a phenomenon! Who could forget Sergio? Angelica? Perfecta? PULGOSO THE TALKING DOG!! Who did not fall for the little, sweet, innocent girl from the beach who was abused and totured by Angelica for falling gaga over her stepson, Sergio; who suddenly turned out to be the heiress of Club Valle Encantada? See?! I still remember the details!

I was in the first grade then. And I was gaga over MariMar. I was strangely drawn to Sergio though, and I couldn't understand why. LOOOOOOOL!!

My favorite scene in the entire series was when Thalia finally got her revenge on Angelica. Do you guys remember when Angelica told MariMar to get the bracelet that Sergio gave her, from the mud using her mouth? Well, MariMar got rich, bought Angelica's hacienda, and told her that if she wants it back, she must get the deed from the pool of mud with her mouth.. GAWD!! REVENGE AT ITS FINEST!! AYLUVET!!!

Here's the video of the scene. It's in Spanish. But you can feel the hatred and the satisfaction and all the other emotions seeping through the dialogues.

I remember waking up at 4am just to watch when Thalia arrived in the Philippines. People were going crazy like it was the pope who arrived.

When the series ended, I felt like it was an end of an era. I asked God what would fill my weeknights... I felt so empty all of a sudden. LOL. Good thing RPN rode the SpanishWave like a crackwhore on crack. I'll be featuring them in the coming days.. :P

HOTTIE of the WEEK: Thalia. Wherever you are, you are still FAB!!

***

so you now know what first turned me over the other team.. LOL!

and speaking of that shit.. another 'WTF?!' conversation overheard in New York...

Very gay man: I have to go buy some Crisco -- I have a date tonight.Straight guy: I don't understand how you can not be interested in a nice set of tits and a wet vagina.Very gay man: I don't understand how you can not be interested in a big throbbing cock!Straight guy: Because I already have one.Very gay man: Let me see!Straight guy: No!

Friday, March 9, 2007

as I am typing this post, someone is getting arrested upstairs. I have no idea who, but the po-lice (read powlis) came in full force... and I opened the door!! HOORAY FOR JUSTICE!

New York is starting to fuck me. lol. CRIME CRIME CRIME!!! ayluvet!! The excitement! I mean, I don't wanna be a victim, but being a spectator.. is simply... SPECTACULAR!! lol!!

I feel so debonair all of a sudden. lol!!

Just got back from the doctor. and I'm disease free! venereal and all! lol.

there's just one more and my journey to the dark side (of the force) will be complete. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Crappy post coz I feel all drugged up. lol. they drew 6 vials of blood and I am so... light headed? hihihihihi. didn't eat luch and breakfast coz i woke up late and the appointment ended at around 3pm. but i can still type. but i can't think straight, i think. lol

To make do, here's a bit of New York wisdom for all of you. Spread the love!

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

As children, we have always thought optimistically. Our heads in the clouds, full of idealism and energy...

My Czech friend, Klimo, asked me how I was. And I told him I was frustrated, disappointed, and most of all, sad. He asked me why. I told him...

I was able to catch this video in YouTube and it reminded me of how I, and a billion other people felt during the celebration of the 2nd Millenium..

I had such high hopes back then. Even as a 10 year old, I already saw the blight and entropy that the world was rife with. And I thought to myself, maybe, with the fete and festivities that came along with the 2000th year of modern covilization, that maybe, the world would start to become a better place to live in. Wars and strife would end. The diaspora of many a people would finally come to a halt, equity and the end of discrimination would start to reign. I had my hopes up. Im sure a lot of young ones did too.

The fireworks and the hooplah heralded the coming of a new era of peace and prosperity... Or so we thought.

As the years went on, I forgot about that time. I forgot about how happy and anticipative I was. I became part of the mindless world machine who think of themselves, and their self-progression only.

But when i watched this video, it all came back to me. But now, it's no longer hope, but despair. Despair and forlornness as to why things are still practically the same.

Racism is still prevalent. Sexism and looksism, even ageism are still hooked like leeches on humanity. Wars are still afoot. The Middle East is still a hodgepodge of tension. Africa is still engulfed with poverty. The world powers are still somewhat indifferent to global problems that need immediate attention and intervention. And the Philippines, ang aking bayang minamahal, is still in the cesspools of the third world.

I ask now, "where has the hopeful kid gone?"

Seems like the "tomorrow in our hands" has fallen prey to insidious greed and apathy. Did our conviction and drive die along with the noise after January 1, 2000?

I guess we're all to blame, coz we still haven't made the effort to reach the pinnacle goal of Y2K...

Is it too late for me to raise my little flags, white and the rainbow, and say.. "WORLD PEACE!"?

I hope not.. for it is my opinion that everything grows from that root. World Peace isn't an end..it's the means.. prosperity springs from it, so do happiness, contentment and unity.

Or I may just be some coot who can't get his head off the clouds and back to earth.

They say hope springs eternal. But somehow, I find that my hope is thinning out, lost in the menagerie that is the world today.

You must hold on and dream of a place that is safe, peaceful and freethrough a thousand years and more, let it bea bright new world that shineswith love for humanitya world that's whole for you and me

Monday, March 5, 2007

I hate it!! New York isn't just the greatest city in the known universe (it even beat the Alien with an Afro's Zebularadarodara..LOL), it's also in the upper echelons of "YOU-BETTER-BE-RICH-OR-YOU'LL-FUCKIN'-LOOK-LIKE-A-PAUPER" cities. GGGRRR.

Listen to this: Manhattan living would cost you at least $1000, and that's the cheapest and most barren, niggardly, and banal apartment you can find on this side of the galaxy. And it's also the city with the highest car insurance and health insurance prices. Arounf $400, i think per month.

But that's not why I'm mad. I'm mad because the price of a friggin' haircut costs $90 friggin bucks!! I was accustomed to the 50php, and the occasional 300php haircuts I got in Manila. But here?.. the good salons cost a fortune. And I fuckin' hate it!!! I haven't had a haircut for 2 months, not only because of the cold, but because my wallet is fuckin' empty!!! I used it all up to eat fuckin' subway sandwiches!!!

And I can't ver well just go to a barber shop. My hair requires delicate precision. Just one false woop and it's all freakish looking. I tell you.

And now, because of my utter desperation, I've asked my mom to give me money for my haircut as her birthday gift for me. I AM SO DESPERATE!! I look like a fuckin' retard!!!!

And the hair products are killing me as well!! $20 for a small container of hair wax!!

Gawd, I so have to work. And when I do, I shant eat anything to save money!!!!!!!

I guess that's a day in the life of the rich and fabulous...MUST.REMAIN.FAB!!

To balance the increasing neuroticism of my brain, let me debut my Hottie of Ze Week. Each week, I'll feature one, may be male, may be female. Depends on who I consider a hottie.

This week, it's Santiago Cabrera who plays Isaac Mendez on Heroes.

He so has that "FUCK ME I'M AN ARTISTE" vibe that he sends to both men and women.. LOL!!

(photo c/o Rickey.org)

*give me a break, I'm depressed about my hair so I deserve to be "malandi" even just for a while.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

I so envy Jennifer Hudson. No no, not because she won an Academy Award (though that wouldn't be bad at all). I envy her coz she was so glamorous during her Oscar Night performance. Yep, dear readers, my being a FAB-HAG has struck again!

First, it has ALWAYS been a dream of mine to ascend the stage via a raising platform. I imagine it makes you feel so important and so regal. JHud must've felt like the Queen of Spain. LOL.

Second, all, my friends know this, I've always craved to sing in front of a bazillion people and enchant them with my *ahem* beautiful voice. I wanna belt out my powerful vocals and stun the world (in a good way). I then expect 10 minutes of non-stop standing-Os.

Her gown was fabulous! Makes me go back to the OLD days when I first wanted to try out a dress. Out of my system now, but I admit I went through that phase, LOL. Her ruby red gown fell on her body like a fluid curtain. LOVED IT.

Fourth, and probably the most frustrating thing, was her moves! Dammit, the girl can groove! BUT, those moves are mine!! I've been using them for 6 years(in private of course; when my ConcertQueen Syndrome starts to attack me again..LOL)! The diamond step with aerobic arm movements, The one-shoulder move she did at the beginning of the video, the hand PLANTED permanently on her waist, the hair flip(though I have short hair), and the hip movements she did on 2:26 of the video. I SHOULD SUE HER FAT, GORGEOUS ASS!!

My my. the power of a make over can do wonders!!.. She's just like Marc Jacobs. Lookie-lookie..

BEFORE:

JHud looking like a taco on Idol 3.

Scruffy Marc Jacobs with uber hot boytoy, Jason Preston

AFTER:

JHud out-boobs Beyonce

Marc Jacobs oooh-lala after he broke up with Preston. Look at those pecs!

Friday, March 2, 2007

Let me just say that the network's editing to make the "housemates"(how I abhore that term already) look so civic minded and appear so charitable makes me sick to my stomach. THE HYPOCRISY!! I would have bought it had ABS-CBN not converted each and every one of the "gomerals" into commercial artists. My God! Talk about profit first!! At least choose those that have talents!

The likes of Cass acting???? Next please!

Let me say this, each and every time I saw Kim Chiu on TV (and on the trailers and previews of FDH) I got so pissed off I would send Group Messages to my friends proclaiming my extreme annoyance and dislike towards her. She hardly seems real to me! She has the word FAKE tattooed all over her face.. FAKE FAKE FAKE!!

And don't get me started on Gerald! (You always have one expression.. ALWAYS.. the "Who me?" expression)

It's a good thing Nene didn't abandon her integrity by being part of this artistic travesty(I think). As for Keanna.. well, she can't act. But her area doesn't require acting that much. It just requires her to be who she is.. a bit of naivete.. and a whole lot of boobs..

Big Brother here in the States and in other parts of the world still carry out community works. But they don't spin it out like it's what the housemates (fug!) have wanted to do all their lives. As a matter of fact, I would respect one who would do bad stuff on TV as opposed to someone who's goody-goody.. That's real. I mean, I wouldn't support an EVIL guy.. but I wouldn't support a saint as well....

I like sinners.. NOT KILLERS..MORE SO MOTHER THERESA WANNABES!

And not to mention... Big Brother in other countries (like the Czech Republic..LOL) have a LOT of hotties.. hahahahaha!!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I'm sick and tired of seeing everyone wear tshirt and jeans all the time. Whether it be sunny day, to a rainy day, to a cloudy day, IT'S ALWAYS FREAKIN' TSHIRT AND JEANS. Time to add stuff to the wardrobe peeps. Make yourselves stand out. If you still find that tshirt and jeans is your thing, then at least add variety to your wardrobe by occasionally changing it up. The male fashion scene is SOOOOOOO boring. Consistency is the refuge of the unimaginative.

MEN, here are the spring/summer pieces that could add life to your usually BANAL ang MISERLY wardrobe and enhance your entire look and image. Spring/Summer collections jive well with tropical weather. So there's no excuse for not excogitating these...

If one of you, dear male readers, even just one, heeds these suggestions, I will consider it as a personal triumph. CONVERSION!!

Allelujia!! (Angelic chorus starts to sing)

3..

2..

1.. HERE WE GO....

Look: Casual

The quintessential casual look for spring/summer.The essential thing to have is the cardigan. Use it with slim shorts, kicks sans undershirt.

Look: Military-esque

For those who want to look tougher. Wear a military jacket with slim shorts and kicks. Shirt optional.

CAPS. CAPS. CAPS. as long as they're vintage caps they're ok..

Look: Jogger

I have rarely seen a shirtless jogger in the Philippines, save for 4 people jogging around the UP AcadOval.

Monday, February 26, 2007

I have finally found the person who's worthy enough for me to emulate. Her values and my ambitions seem to mesh SOOOO well. None other than Maria Antonia Josefa Johanna von Habsburg-Lothringen known more popularly as Marie Antoinette.

Ok, let me pre-empt what you're thinking. She's a woman. So? I didn't say I wanted to have a vagina did I? (LOL) I'm perfectly happy with what I have. (LOL LOL!)

Before you crucify me for such a primadonna post, let me say that that's not the summation of what I admire in her.

She started out kind, charitable, shy, and interested in the peculiarities+trivialities of the Royal Court in Versailles. She was specially loved by the people and she loved them back.(SO ME!! PEOPLE LOVE ME!! hahahahahaha!!) But as time went on, due to the pressures of the court, and her husband's REFUSAL TO ADHERE TO HIS 'MATRIMONIAL DUTIES', she started to fool around lose control of her self. She would, reportedly, sneak out and meet with her lovers in, of all places, the Opera!!

AND, Parisians suspected, and gossiped in a rather graphic way (via pamphlet) that she was having frivolous anal sex with her brother-in-law. And in the vulgar pamphlet known as "Le Godmiché Royal " or "The Royal Dildo", she was drawn fondling herself. FABULOUS!!! hahahahahaha!!

(if there is any married man or a committed man reading this post, do yourself a favor and fill up your wives/ partners. YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T!)

It is said that she would often spread her legs for everyone to see her bijoux.. LOL!!..

So we have a story of nice, innocent, charitable and gentle turned to powerful, extravagant, promiscuous, and bitchy, lost in the decadence of the white wigs and powder.

Again.. ROLE MODEL!!

Plus, her execution (though factually the reasons for which were baseless and exaggerated by the Bourgeoisie) was forever etched as a spectacular death. The same way I want to leave this world, In a BLAZE OF GLORY!!

And because I am so fascinated with her, I decided (long ago, like, 4 months ago) that for my 21st birthday, the attire would be 18th Century French Court. Hahahahahaha!!

Would you like to receive an invitation?.. hahaha..

okok.. you've reached this far so let me say that Marie Antoinette was known and chronicled to be intrepid, loving, and extremely loyal. (again, ROLE MODEL. ü )

Be a Wise Consumer. Read the Warnings!

This blog is about nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. If you were looking for something with consistency, you've reached the wrong end of the spectrum. BACK UP and LEAVE NOW!

But if you were looking for a place where your neurons will die and your cranium and cerebral cortex will bleed to death, then do continue your perusal. Just don't charge me for your hospital or therapist bills. I aint gonna pay.

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