The authors address the issue of forgiveness from the experience of victims of sexual abuse who often bear it very acutely. Christianity generally holds forgiveness as a Christian duty, based on a theology that views reconciliation as the heart of salvation history. The New Testament carries a call to forgive that cannot be denied. But it is not necessarily without conditions, and we should not disregard the context of the fault or the relationship between the actors. In a strange inversion of the dynamics of forgiveness, psychology on the other hand considers the benefits of forgiveness for the one who forgives rather than for the one who is forgiven. It also knows the long paths and dead ends of forgiveness which theology cannot ignore. This calls for a theology that is more sensitive to victims and justice, and that handles the issue of forgiveness and reconciliation more cautiously. Like love, forgiveness is a gift and it cannot be forced. Forgiveness is not an obligation that should be imposed on victims, who often are the weakest ones. If the grace of God allows us to forgive where human will and power reach their limits, maybe there also is a grace to refuse forgiveness until something changes or a grace to make justice so that life abounds.