Sparkfriend Opinions Needed!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I know you are all very smart and have good sense, so I need your opinion on something...

I think I mentioned on here how my car had VIN issues and has to get all straightened out? Well yesterday they called me from the dealership saying they needed me to bring the car to them right away and they would give me a loaner car. They were "out of loaners" so the guy gave me a brand new VW Passat, I mean a branddd new car with a tank of gas, so naturally I took the long way home (but I digress)...

I was at home cooking dinner (we had taco salads last night!) and I noticed the kid that lives next door was getting SO CLOSE to the Passat with his bike and he called a bunch of neighborhood kids over and they were all pretty much tossing their bikes around right next to this brand spanking new car which I am responsible for damages on at the moment. I let it go because they rode off... anyways, later my BF and I notice it is trash day so we decide to take the trash out, and take a load of stuff to goodwill, so we both have our arms full of stuff trying to get out of the door and we notice the neighbor herself is SITTING ON my BF’S CAR. Like her rear... is on... the car. Mind you - her own car was right next to it, and her stoop was right there, so if you're going to put your butt on anything make it your own property right?

My BF said he glared at her and she got off, but I still feel the urge to sort of say something. I've met almost everybody else on the street except for her, a lot of people have come up and introduced themselves, but I haven't met her.

I mean if she had been sitting on MY car, my new car, I would have been pretty pissed. As well as if her kid threw his bike on my car. And if either had happened to this super new loaner car... rage.

Do you think it is wrong if the next time I see her I NICELY introduce myself, say I notice she had a son and ask about her kids, and then maybe be like "I've never lived where so many kids play outside, that is great to see, but I'm a bit worried about my new car. It is still so new that I paranoid about every bump and ding. Could you please ask your son to keep a little more distance?"

Is that rude? Is that... I don't know? Am I overreacting? I mean the neighbor across the street came over, introduced himself, said he had two sons and if I thought they were out of line or if a ball bumped my car, let him know right away because he's a hands on parent. He also mentioned how he's often outside watching them, which maybe this lady thought she was watching her son, but she had her back turned to them while her body was on my bf's car. COME ON.

I seriously have never lived where there were so many kids playing outside. Last night a group of probably twenty 8-10 year olds (I'm not kidding) were playing an insane game of tag all up and down the street and around ALL of the cars. Maybe I'm just not used to it and that is why I'm freaking a bit, but is it normal for kids to be like all over everyone's property or are these parents not doing their job?! I also feel like my BF & I are kind of the odd people out. EVERYONE else except for our ONE neighbor are couples with kids. We’re just young, hardworking people and I wonder if everyone else is in agreement and I don’t “GET IT” because I’m a childless 20-something?

Anyways, this also is a time to mention that I didn’t get a “real” workout in yesterday. I still managed to get about 7,000 steps on my pedometer, only slightly flubbed up lunch (someone told me my crab cake and roasted red potato probably wasn’t as bad as I thought?), and made a healthy dinner. I know I shouldn’t be complaining about my lack of weight loss right now because I’m NOT giving it my all. I’m certainly not earning a loss. LIFE is just crazy at the moment. The car stuff is also causing me to miss happy hours this week, which is probably a lifesaver in disguise. It is also preventing me from doing as much around the house as I want to… but… everything in its time I suppose? The flow will hopefully start going a little more soon lol. [Side note: we found an AWESOME store last night that has an insane amount of FRESH fruits & veggies for dirt cheap! I am so excited that is super close by!]

Thanks for listening guys. Appreciate any feedback you have. I’m new to this whole suburban neighborhood thing and I don’t want to mess it up!

You should definitely go and introduce yourself and have this little "talk" you are thinking. I would skip the last sentence about the son. Be friendly and express your concern in general. If the boy does it again, then you can be more specific. At least, that is what I would have done.

I think you approach is totally justified. It has nothing to do with you not "getting it". I am a parent of 4 and I totally expect my kids to respect others property. And as far as the neighbor sitting on your car - WTH? That's totally inappropriate. Is there anyway to seperate your driveway from theirs? Arbor vitae, privacy fence, etc. Setting up boundaries is not a bad idea.

I think your approach to the neighbor situation is completely fine, it's actually what I would have suggested. As long as you are super nice, which you are by nature, you will be fine. I grew up in a neighborhood like that, with tons of kids. I do remember being on other's property, but if we were asked not to, we stayed away.

Hope your life gets a little less crazy, but keep trucking! You'll get there!! :)

I have conflicting thoughts about this. First off, you're in the right to want to protect your property. That's not in question.

I remember when I was a kid and I never ever thought of cars (my parent's or anyone else's) as things to be aware of, things that could get damaged, etc. I just wasn't aware of the adult responsibilities and concerns involving cars. I think , in general, this is true for most kids and parents don't even think about educating their kids on these issues until something happens to cause it (reactive as opposed to proactive).

I think you should somehow bring it to people's awareness but it does need to be handled correctly so people don't get a chip on their shoulder or so you aren't made to feel uncomfortable in the neighborhood you just moved into. Having lived in a big city before (Atlanta), I'd hate for you to all of a sudden notice a petty revenge scratch in your car with no recourse for compensation. You just don't know who you are dealing with (yet).

I think the way you outlined your approach should be ok. Just pay attention to tone of voice. Keep smiling and keep voice low and cadence slow so to come off as more relaxed and less uptight.

Good luck and let us know what happens! I'd be worried and feel the same way about this too, especially with the VW.

I'd introduce myself and maybe instead of saying it's your new car, just say that while your car is at the dealership you've got this loaner and you're a bit paranoid about damage. Which is the truth. Kids can be so confident that they have everything under control and then suddenly there's a baseball through a window. Not that that ever happened when I was a kid.

Unrelated, but my friend has lived on a golf course for years and he finally got a ball through his living room window last month. Windows are expensive. :)