Wow. Welp. We heard rumblings of consistent infidelity, and today, a bombshell: Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with a member of his household staff, and that's why Maria Shriver decided to call it quits. The mother of this child worked for the Schwarzenegger family for TWENTY YEARS, until she retired. In January. This woman — whose name is not being published — says: "I wanted to achieve my 20 years, then I asked to retire." She received a severance payment and "left on good terms with them." Schwarzenegger took financial responsibility for the child from the start and continued to provide support. The kid was born over ten years ago, but Maria found out that the Terminator was the biological father very recently. Ahnuld tells the Los Angeles Times: "After leaving the governor's office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago. I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry." Apparently Arnold and Maria's kids basically grew up with this child — they all played together — so the lies were fairly extensive. Funny how this cigar-smoking muscle-bound manly man is basically Cowardice personified. Also, it's amazing that his didn't come out sooner - but as we learned yesterday, there may have been all kinds of tabloid blackmail and payoffs going on behind the scenes. The stuff epic mini series are made of. [TMZ, LA Times, Radar Online]

Breaking: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie went to dinner in Cannes. They ordered the house-special bouillabaisse, two different wines and a tart for dessert. Pitt did the ordering and paid in cash. You will find this simply shocking, but a source says: "They seemed very happy… They seem completely in love, still, which is so nice to see. Their energy is amazing. He held her seat out when they arrived." So… no one stormed out? No screaming matches? Does this mean that tabloids lie? [Us Magazine]Brad Pitt's latest film — The Tree Of Life, directed by Terrence Malick — was booed at Cannes. Surely Brad wept into the 1500 thread count sheets of the bed in his villa while being cradled by the most beautiful woman on earth and surrounded by laughing children. [HollywoodNews.com]

Oooh. Oh. Hi. Alexander Skarsgard and his scowl are on the June cover of GQ. Good morning. [Just Jared]

Katie Couric could be making "strategic guest appearances" on Good Morning America, pitting her against her old buddy Matt Lauer on the Today show. Direct rivalry! Two fighters in the octagon! Who will tap out? [Page Six]

"Charlie Sheen Borrows $10 Mil From Warner Bros." Wow. The highest-paid star on TV had to get a loan from work. Huh. [TMZ]

Teen Mom's Amber Portwood turned 21 last week, and by the looks of these photos, had a really good party. [The Superficial]

We should have seen this coming: Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively. Sigh. [Page Six]

Demi Lovato — who is on the road to recovering from eating disorders — posted a photograph of herself in a bikini on Facebook, with the message: "I've been working so hard to get healthy and fit.. I can't believe I'm about to do this but I'm so excited.. Here's my bikini time body!" Hopefully she also realizes it's a body made for thinking, laughing, nourishing and other stuff besides wearing a bathing suit. [X17]

What the world needs now: A Flintstones remake. Seth MacFarlane is involved. [Deadline Hollywood]

Miramax and Netflix have made a deal, so you can start streaming stuff like Pulp Fiction, Shakespeare in Love, Bad Santa and Kill Bill. [LA Times]

RIP M-Bone of Cali Swag District, whose track "Teach Me How To Dougie" is a huge hit. He was killed in a drive-by on Sunday, and it might have been due to a "Twitter war" over a girl. [TMZ, TMZ]

"I was very lonely. I would find cats in the street and take them with me. I raised a lot of cats in that period." — Before she was famous, Penelope Cruz was a crazy cat lady, our favorite kind of cat lady. [Vogue via Radar]

"Fifteen minutes before [the Oscars], the guy doing my hair goes, ‘If you can get a salad, get a salad…I said, ‘I'm getting a Philly cheesesteak.' I'm sure there's proof on a hotel bill somewhere." — Jennifer Lawrence, of Winter's Bone and the upcoming Hunger Games movie. [Pop Sugar]