The musings of a girl in her 30’s who has battled obesity her entire life. She is a former “LapBander” who had it removed due to a chronic slip, but she’s now “sleeved” and ready for the rest of her life! Enjoy the inner dialogue of an otherwise successful woman who battles her weight and health for 30+ years...

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Size 16?! Me?!

I asked my mom recently what I weighed in high school, because I have no recollection of when I was last in "onederland," or - heck - even when I weighed as little as I do now. My mom said she had no idea...awesome. I guess I was secretive about my weight even then, eh? It's funny that I was that way, because I've been WAY out in the open about my weight over the last couple of years...especially since being banded. I'm proud to tell people that I started out at 338...mainly because no one ever believes that I actually weighed that much (I never looked it, to be honest...or, at least, I didn't fit the picture of what everyone has in their head of a 338 pound girl). It's somewhat bittersweet to be in the 220's now, because I can't say when I last saw this decade...and it'll continue to be that way for the rest of my journey. The smallest I had remembered being was 274 a few years ago, but obviously I'm kinda past that one now.

I did hit up Old Navy yesterday and, thanks to the clearance rack and my 30% off coupon, got three new pairs of SIZE 16 jeans for $36! Score! Of course, I didn't try them on at the store...got home and only 2 of the 3 pairs fit (weird), but I know I'll be squeezing into that third pair sometime soon!

Beyond that? I'm absolutely miserable. I can't eat at all now...which is quite the 180 from earlier this week. I just tried to eat a 100-calorie snack pack (Cheez-It Snack Mix), couldn't get it all down, and ended up PBing some of it into the toilet. Ugh. I feel kinda acid refluxy, but not really...it probably helps that I started taking Prevacid about a week ago. But, not being able to eat (or drink, for that matter), sure makes me weak. I haven't wanted to chat with Nick on the phone because I flat out don't feel well, and I've spent most of the weekend so far in and out of sleep in my bed. Ugh. I guess it's time to schedule an appointment with my doctor and see if I can get an unfill, eh? I thought my band was loosening up and all was well again in LapBand world...guess not.

I've got some grading and lesson planning to get to at some point today...guess I better go start!

Congrats on the 16s. I absolutely LOOOOOOOVE Old Navy, even though I have to order my jeans online for now. Their jeans are all cut differently so the sizes, even though they are the same number, can be very different. Get to the doctor asap so you can feel better. I guess I better get to the grading and lesson plans too. :-( Boy how I hate to see spring break leave!

Who I Am...

Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions which speak louder than words. It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time, year after year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of; the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism." - Abraham Lincoln