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It’s Black or White

How do you put into words what God means to you? I’d be a liar if I said I talk to Him daily yet He is my closet Friend. He is the Name I call out when I am in agony and when the waters of death’s defeat try to swallow me alive, He is the drink of life that sustains me. I know I owe Him Everything and yet I have taken His unconditional love for me for granted almost daily. I can’t understand how He can mean so much to me and yet I go about my life forgetting to invite Him to supper.

I’m weak but sometimes I have a day of being good and I think, I’m not so bad and then there it is again the heart moves and I’m living flesh I’m black in white I cannot do it, but all that I require Jesus has already done for me. I wish I was a better child but I know one day I will see His Face, gladly bow before Him and feel His embrace.

His is the Name that matters to me still people don’t always see Jesus in me for at my kindest I am Self-absorbed, in all my brilliance I am a Mud-covered Mess and at my best I’m still Unfinished in Him. I’ve tried the world and been in the pigpen of my own choosing and yet I have never felt Him closer than right there in my open filth. For when I was lost in my shame He found me carried me Home and wrapped His own Son’s housecoat around me.

When I finally see Heaven there will be one name that I will declare, for Jesus loves me this I know.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. – John 14:6

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I am a women and mother who finds my serenity in the Grace of God. In my life there is no greater purpose then to Love a child. There is no higher calling then to Love one another. I have found my immovability in His Never-ending Love for me. I have found Him Faithful even to the depths of the grave.