Sorrow and Desperation

This note is sent from Farudin Burhan, our long time friend, that is now in back in Indonesia to work on God’s mission.

In life, one must face a moment like this, a moment where everything in your life changed just because of a simple click, and because of that one click, many bad situations come to occur in your life, everything is just changed, everything that you never expected, everything just comes so sudden in your life. You will have to question yourself, why? What did I do to deserve this? Is there God? You pray and pray but there’s not even an answer, you started to question about God’s existence, you started to blame other Christians for not being able to help you or don’t want to help you, and you are starting to blame God for everything, soon you will think about leaving God behind and just go on with your life, find a job, get money, and that is the source of your life because God wasn’t there to help you.

This time I want to tell you my story, there’s a lot of changes in my life for these couple months since I left Canada. As you already know that my mom is sick, the doctor says that she isn’t able to recover anymore, she will be like this forever, in bed, half paralyzed, she’s not herself as she used to be anymore, no operation could take place because the stroke hits the specific area in the brain that could be dangerous for operation. We have to pay a lot of money every day in order to treat her, many kinds of medicines because she has heart problem, sugar problem, blood pressure problem, and also treatments such as physiotherapy, eat specific food, hire nurses to help in order to keep her breathing. It’s crucial financial difficulty right now in the family. And another thing is me, I’m graduate from theology and to tell you the truth, you won’t be able to support life if you are a pastor here except if you are well known or popular, but in my case, I’m not in that category. My dad isn’t a believer, he is one of the kind who do anything in order to support the family, so what happen when he sees me that not able to do anything to earn money to help the family? Yes, you can imagine everyday I get a sermon about life, just call it “Money is life 101” and you don’t wanna know about it and it’s useless to talk about God in the situation like this, you’re just making God as a good humor. I’m not done yet, couple days ago, my brother in law got a motorcycle accident and he had to get an operation for his knee, and exact 3 days after the accident, my mom’s sugar level was dropped drastically and she was brought into the hospital and entered the ICCU room for about 3 days until she was moved to a normal room, yes, another big expense. Another thing occuring is I am looking for a job for already 2 months by now and not getting it, I was applying for teaching in an International school but remember it’s December, the children have reading week and have a christmas holiday for one month until the end of January, who wants to hire a staff at that moment? Even though I get it, it’s still not enough to support life and my mom’s treatment.

Friends, I dunno what’s your problem is, I’m not asking for this situation, I’m not even comparing the situation from yours. But I believe that the situation could be connected to at least one of you or it’s maybe you who have these kind of situations. I understand that there’re many questions and many chances and supporting opportunities for you to say that “There is no God” or “Just forget about God” or “We don’t need God”, your situations say so, your friends and families say so, your mind even says so, but let me tell you something

Every great people of God must experience a moment like this!!! Abraham was tested between the word of God or his only son, Isaac. Jospeh has to be thrown away by his families, get into jail. David has to run away many times from Saul. Daniel has to be thrown away to the lion’s den. What kind of food and drink that you get if you’re in the whale’s belly for three days like Jonah? Sadrach, Meshach, and Abednego who were in a band together and on fire. And please don’t mention Paul, because he was made blind, throwned stones, bitten by snake, jailed, and etc. And please read Job (Ayub-Indonesian), how bout Jesus who is God and has to be born like human and crucified? And I heard a testimony from TD Jakes before, he said something like this, someone once came to him and asking for him to lay hand and give him all the anointing that TD Jakes has. So TD Jakes replies, this man is hoping and expecting something like after laying on hand, he will become a person who has the same anointing like me, he is expecting only something good and great without knowing anything about how many sorrow and desperation times that I must face to become a person like this today?

This moment is a time where God wants to shape you into a great man, have you ever prayed to God that you want to be His vessel, a vessel that He can use? God answers your prayer today, Heb 12:6 says For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.”. In today’s life, God needs a powerful vessel that He can use, a vessel that stands on His word, not depend on the situation. Do you realize that most people today depend on situation not the word of God? “Because of the situation, I’m able to stand on the word of God today” not “Because of the word of God, I am able to stand on my situation today”, many people today put the situation first, then the second is God. The bible also says, Most men will proclaim each his own goodness, But who can find a faithful man? (Prov 20:6). God is looking for a faithful person who is stand on His word, depend on His word, face all the situations based on His word, a person that put His word first!!! The bible also says, “that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet 1:7). The reason why God you into a situation like this is because He wants to shape you to be a person whose faith is more powerful than gold. Yes, gold, money, treasure, more than that is a person who stand on His word. Many people who seek God because he wants his business succeed and receives money, want to become blessed by money, or because of money, he is able to stand on the word. But not very many people who put His word first, then money or situation.

If you are the person that face the situation like this, remember that it is because God wants to choose you to become a great person, not many people have the same chances like you, don’t fail. The bible also says that “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” (1 Cor 10:13), The temptation that you face is not something that greater than you can handle, YOU CAN DO IT!!! BUT DO YOU WANT TO DO IT? You might ask question like this “Why is this happening to me?”, “Why it has to be me who experience these problems?” I am also asking that question myself, but the answer is simple: “It is because other people is not as strong as you!!!”

So keep faithful to the word of God, I’m not just saying things, I live with it now, I dunno the result or what kind of things ahead but let us pray to one another

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Rm 5:1-5)

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“The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”