Ah, right. I've never had the heart to venture out into the forums. I think I did check a thread four, five years back, but it was... Well, it was and wasn't very enlightening. If you know what I mean.

Once again, the fungus that is Autothrall only posted when he was mentioned.

Calling someone a fungus is the best insult I've heard in a while! This made me laugh my ass off. Thanks!

On topic: Like most of the people who've posted in this thread, I don't agree with the OP. Because of reviewers like hells_unicorn and autothrall (the ones I usually agree with in terms of taste) I have discovered some of my currently favorite albums or bands even. If anything, I should be grateful that they take their time to write fun and helpful reviews that sometimes steer me towards avoiding a bad purchase or discovering a great album.

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Painkiller1349 wrote:

You lose 20 kvlt points if you change your logo to something easier to read.

Smalley wrote:

If I wanted a better version of something, I certainly wouldn't want it to start smoking crack, it'd get all fucked up and gross.

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 amPosts: 2785Location: A step closer to home

Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 6:40 pm

Yes, he really is abominable. Ironically, for all the albums he (supposedly) listens to and subsequently reviews, he's quite objectively wrong about a few things pertaining to genres and metal history. His insistence on referring to bands' members by name without checking sources to make sure the members in question are connected to that specific release are also pretty deplorable.

Any true music fan has the right to review what ever album they wish. From the recording artists point of view, the best review is when a fan turns up the radio loud when your album cut comes on. When you lay down hard earned cash for an album. When you show up at our concerts and sing along with us and sweat with us. That is a review beyond words. You become the review. You become our music, our lyrics. Our reason for DOING. Love you.

Best review is not written. Best review is cranking an album up loud, laying down hard earns cash as a vote by wallet or purse, but the absolute best review is going to a concert and singing along on your favorite song and sweating and dancing. That is a review that can make a next album better.

Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

Best review is not written. Best review is cranking an album up loud, laying down hard earns cash as a vote by wallet or purse, but the absolute best review is going to a concert and singing along on your favorite song and sweating and dancing. That is a review that can make a next album better.

Yes, he really is abominable. Ironically, for all the albums he (supposedly) listens to and subsequently reviews, he's quite objectively wrong about a few things pertaining to genres and metal history. His insistence on referring to bands' members by name without checking sources to make sure the members in question are connected to that specific release are also pretty deplorable.

I decided to take a look and see if I could find factual inaccuracies in his reviews. I'm just picking these out while reading through, not really double checking them.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/T ... ConorFynes"Frontman Johan Norstrom (also the head of Discouraged Records)"I had to check on this one, but Discouraged Records doesn't mention him on their contact page, and all of the labels updates with a name on them are signed by the founder of the label. He is mentioned as a press contact for one band on the label.

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... ConorFynes" 'Embryo' is an eerie violin observation"That's not a violin, it's way outside of the pitch range of a violin - in the range of a cello, which I have heard it referred to as, but the way it is played it makes sense that it is hybrid picked (pick+fingers) on an electric guitar tuned down to C#

http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/B ... ConorFynesThis review barely says anything, but the album's title is "Vol. 4" not "Volume Four". There's also a bunch of errant capitalization. This also applied to the "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" review, though I didn't spot any blatant factual errors.

Yeah, this is pretty bad, five reviews is enough. I recall that after someone commented on him titling reviews as "band - album", he changed his format. Perhaps if he reads this he will join us on the forums and take some feedback to improve on his writing. The enthusiasm is there, and there's quantity of writing, but not much quality.

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 amPosts: 2785Location: A step closer to home

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 3:54 pm

Well there was that one time he mentioned how the band he was reviewing covered "a band" named Mussorgsky. And then he attributed the totally wrong vocalist to Lykathea Aflame's lineup on Elvenefris...

Well there was that one time he mentioned how the band he was reviewing covered "a band" named Mussorgsky. And then he attributed the totally wrong vocalist to Lykathea Aflame's lineup on Elvenefris...

Sounds like a lot of oven fodder.

DodensGrav wrote:

Those are pretty nitpicky as far as factual errors go.

That's just what I picked out browsing five reviews...While the errors themselves may not merit deletion, they're an indicator of the lack of quality, especially when half of every review is pretty much trying to recount the history of the band around that album. The validity of such a bare review is really brought into question when something as obvious as when Black Sabbath started downtuning is incorrectly attributed, it makes it seem like the writer is putting together a vague overview, rather than providing insights into each album.

Listen to the first minute of each of these songs and see what differences you notice. It's not hard to get it right.

To be fair, Iommi lost his fingertips before the first album was recorded and he's said that that was the reason he started downtuning. I don't quite blame him for getting that one wrong if he doesn't play guitar or have an ear for that kind of thing.

To be fair, Iommi lost his fingertips before the first album was recorded and he's said that that was the reason he started downtuning. I don't quite blame him for getting that one wrong if he doesn't play guitar or have an ear for that kind of thing.

Perhaps not everyone is qualified to be a good reviewer. The ability to differentiate between downtuned and standard guitars, for one, is quite essential for a quality metal reviewer. Secondly, a reviewer should be selfconscious of his ignorance. If he insists on making incorrect statements without doing as much as a google search to back up his information, there's no reason to forgive his ignorance.

The ability to differentiate between downtuned and standard guitars, for one, is quite essential for a quality metal reviewer.

Not really.

Perhaps the lack of this knowledge can be excused by non-musicians if the reviewer doesn't insist on using the terms incorrectly. In ConorFynes' case, someone unfamiliar with Black Sabbath's earlier albums might be looking for the ones that did (or did not) have downtuned guitars. A quality reviewer should at very least be able to tell whether the guitars are in standard tuning or not.

A quality reviewer should at very least be able to tell whether the guitars are in standard tuning or not.

That seems like a secondary trait to me. If they know the difference and can communicate that with others who are likewise familiar with standard tuning or whatnot, great. I don't see it as a huge loss if not.

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Ismetal wrote:

GuntherTheUndying IS THE GAY NUMBER 1, HE DOESNT LIKE TO READ THE TRUTH, SO I THINK THIS PAGE IS FOR GAYS WHO WANTS TO READ MESSAGES LIKE "I LOVE MY BAND", "THEY ARE MY LOVE"

it is not quite important for me as well. There's many kind of reviewers, I'm personnally not interested in discussing musical theory, I'd rather talk about something else, I'm not a musician myself and you don't need to be one to write a good review. To each his own.

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 amPosts: 2785Location: A step closer to home

Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 3:26 pm

I've never before seen someone as talented as NausikaDalazBlindaz is at taking an artform as emotional and atmospheric as music, and managing to describe it in the most flat, boring, and unappealing way possible.

I've never before seen someone as talented as NausikaDalazBlindaz is at taking an artform as emotional and atmospheric as music, and managing to describe it in the most flat, boring, and unappealing way possible.

Have you ever read something from ConorFynes?

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gomorro wrote:

Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

CrimsonFloyd just rubs me the wrong way. His reviews aren't as terrible as the other two but he usually barely describes the music at all beyond two or three vague adjectives and has backwards opinions on everything.

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theposaga about a Moonblood rehearsal wrote:

So good. Makes me want to break up with my girlfriend, quit my job and never move out of my parents house. Just totally destroy my life for Satan.