Former home of Ranting and Raving, Charlotte-based writer Regan White has taken a turn as a recovering journalist. Continue to follow the antics, anecdotes, sarcasm and sentimentalism here.

May 17, 2010

Take that, Merita

A week or two ago I was driving to work and found a Merita bread truck in front of me. It's back door taunted me. It was painted with the slogan, "We bake while you sleep!" (Or something of that nature.) The "you" was underlined, italicized and bold - as if one text function wasn't enough to express disgust. It was so accusatory. Like Merita was pointing a big, doughy finger at lazy me.

Sure the slogan might've worked back in the day when people stayed up to bake things like rolls, muffins, bread and biscuits. But today no one - in America at least - is going to take that kind of sass. Of course I was sleeping and not baking that loaf of bread. That's what you're around for, Merita. Don't give me those dirty looks or the guilt trip. I never ASKED you to bake that bread in the first place! I'll sleep as much as I like. And I'll have my bread buttered as well, thank you very much.