Speed ‘Stache

When PopCap San Francisco isn’t hard at work doing the things that they are supposed to be doing, they are committed to exploring new ways to make the world a better place. And to prove it to you, we present the results of their most recent extracurricular effort:

Moustache Contest!*

*Proper gentlemen prefer the proper spelling of “moustache.”

Competitors were given two weeks – TWO WEEKS! – to grow their finest Fu Manchu, Franz Josef or A La Souvarov. (And as someone who couldn’t grow a proper lip-brow if he had six months and a thousand dollars worth of dimoxinil, I am green with whisker-envy.)

A group of the non-bristled gathered to vote on the results. There were very strict criteria by which the mustachioed were judged. And by “very strict” I mean “totally random.” A winner was eventually crowned, but first let’s have a look at a few of the runners up (as judged by me 10 minutes ago).

Best Hat – Engineer Jason

Look for Jason in an upcoming episode of Mad Men. You won’t find him, but look.

Best Sarcastic Eyebrow – Artist Jason

Also a fine example of “The Policeman’s Standard.”

Best Most Obvious Cheat – Game Designer and noted Salvador Dali impersonator Scott

Scott is available for surrealist children’s birthday parties.

Finally, the winner and Moustache Champeen – Artist Stephan

For his effort he took home (or left on his desk as an everlasting tribute to his hirsute superiority) a magnetic mustache poetry kit and what looks like a two-pack of mustache erasers, which are either erasers shaped like mustaches or a miracle invention that will actually erase your mustache. Details remain unclear.