The Defective Inspector ventures into the world of industry with his latest Case File, AdVenture Capitalist...
Evil. Yes, that’s a rather harsh first word for my report but you know what? Well deserved! This time sucking succubus has taken so much from me and asked for so little. I do not comprehend why I started playing this game and frustratingly I cannot stop, why? Because I THINK I am enjoying myself, let me explain…

I discovered this game like many do, I am sitting in my chair writing about the medical downfalls of western society while sipping on a mug of hot chocolate and then BAM! It happened, ‘Friend X is playing AdVenture Capitalist’. That is weird, I’ve never seen anyone play this game before, hell I’ve never even heard of it. Despite that fact… There it is, being played right now. “Ah well” I tell myself, “I’ll check it out another time, there is important writing to be done”. So I go back to my typing, sip my hot chocolate and maybe a watch an episode of Dr Who on iPlayer, I am enjoying Capaldi fly around like a Scottish Arkham patient and then BAM! There it is again! ‘Friend X is playing AdVenture Capitalist’. By this point I decide to look the game up, it is causing too much curiosity for me to focus on the flounce of the physician and so steps must be taken even if it’s to add it to my ‘Wish list’, biggest mistake ever.

I always thought I needed more swag...

You see AdVenture Capitalist is free to play, there is no multiplayer interaction worth acknowledging and the entire premise works under the old Cookie Clicker games, an era where mouse abuse was Diablo 2 legendary. The game is gentle however, it cradles you, guides you to your first click. It seems you goal is to make money, hence the name Ad-‘Venture Capitalist’. You start with a humble lemonade stand which allows you to earn a few dollars, you upgrade your lemonade stand to 2, 3, 4 and soon. Income increases, clicks produce more money, upgrades possible and increase in price. Again like it’s cookie counterpart you can get auto-clicking tools called ‘Managers’ and the helpful guiding moustachioed man is glad to tell you about it. So it begins, your lemonade stands become newspaper rounds, which turns into car washes, which becomes pizza delivery. Want to know how quickly this escalates? Between my oil refineries on Earth I also have a werewolf colony on the Moon I also found time to somewhat export men from Mars. The game is ridiculous but strangely satisfying. It seems the game preys on the helpless folk like myself who feel a certain satisfaction from attaining a new level, the problem is there is no glass ceiling. The numbers keep growing and growing, I have reached numbers I never knew existed and frankly it’s starting to scare me.

I can't even PRONOUNCE these numbers

The game doesn’t seem to have an end, or if there is one I have yet to touch it with my own hands. Currently Steam informed me I have played 37 hours on this game of mine, 37 hours. That’s almost 2 full days on what is basically an ol’ fashion cookie clicker. However AdVenture Capitalist does have one edge, it is witty and remarkably clever.

I loaded the ol’ cookie clicker in the background while writing this, just to remind myself. In this you get auto-clickers and grandmother’s to make cookies, a cookie farm /factory and so on. This is so much more expansive and amazing. You get managers (auto clickers) but the managers have names which relate to the role. I almost pooped myself with happiness when the manager of the carwash was a parody of Walter White and the lemonade stand manager was based on the Portal 2 joke of exploding lemons. Just look below to see my top 5 favourites

The reference to a poorly received 1996 action/horror/comedy/sci-fi movie is my favourite...

This is just the beginning, there are puns and jokes not just scattered throughout the game, they are blunderbuss-ed. By that they are absolutely everywhere, each step I take to progress what is becoming an interplanetary trade empire is rewarded with Dad Jokes, I love it. I shouldn’t and I know I shouldn’t, but I do.

To take this game EVEN FURTHER you can restart, from scratch, to receive ‘Angel Investors’ who act as percentage based boosters to your economy. They too can also be exchanged (more precisely worded as SACRIFICED) to improve your company more and more. Here you can detect a fine balance between ruthless business person and comedic pun-ery. Despite literally selling your soul for money it doesn’t seem to faze you, as the more money you make the more investors will appear. The cycle is an endless stream of profits and religious god offerings to the great monopoly man in the sky. Want to know what is worse? I’m starting to enjoy it…

I am not precisely sure why I love this game, on paper it sounds rather dull and lifeless. No storyline, little animations and comedy which is on par with Uncle Bernie’s wedding speech. It really points down to a combination of looped music which is strangely catchy, a swamp of puns to which no man has charted, unlimited amount of divine winged creatures to throw into the financial fire pit and… Money. Fake, non-existing money. Technically I could take this game to the next stage and purchase the expected in house currency which costs REAL money but I don’t think I will yet, this game has claimed enough of my life as it is. However those who have the cash and the care, feel free, I am not sure I would blame you.

To sum up I will use my first word. This game is unashamedly simple and despite that it seems to garner attention, amusement and interest by doing such simple things. I truly enjoy this game despite the fact it is well and truly… Evil.