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Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Poetry Hallway - An Ode To Richard III - Croyland Otter

Hot on the literary
heels of our new resident poet’s introductory verse, ‘A Love Affair With
Brown’, arrives this poetic epic, ‘An Ode To Richard III’. Shortly after the
shocking discovery of the former King Of England in a popular Leicester dogging
spot, The House Of York decided upon commissioning the then Poet Laureate to
produce a fitting poem, the intention being that the late King would be
immortalised in verse-like fashion. However, the House Of York is not what it
once was, and its entitlements do not include making demands of the Poet
Laureate as if he or she were some subordinate pup. As such, they have had to
cast their net slightly wider, thus capturing the attention of England’s wealth
of local poets.

Croyland’s second
poem to feature at the nicely-carpeted Poetry Hallway is his tribute to the
fallen king, to whom he refers as "a true Majesty”. In the accompanying
letter, he went on to say, "… King Richard 111 [sic] could teach [the
current Monarchy] a thing or two about how to run things.” We can only presume
that Croyland is either thinking of another king or has scant regard for human
life.

Alas, Croyland’s
entry was rejected, firstly on the grounds that he broke part 5c of the
competition rules, that “no one should make reference to Richard III’s alleged
involvement in the disappearance of his nephews”, and secondly because the
competition moderators didn’t think it was any good. Moderator Langley Ibsen
summed up the House of York’s feelings: “We’re sorry to disqualify your entry
so close to the finals, but we’re really confused as to how your poem, An Ode To Richard III, made it through
the initial selection. It’s really not what we’re looking for.”