I am lost in life, help or advice?

I seriously have never felt so completely hopeless in my life. I just graduated high school this year, over the summer my boyfriend broke up with me and my family told me that I have to sell my horse so that we can afford to keep our house. That also means that I can't afford to go to the college that I really wanted to go to. I have no idea what to do with myself, I am falling really really deep into depression and it feels like all my friends have just disappeared on me. I have no idea what to do with my life. I could get a job...and I have been applying to places and trying to get a job. But jobs don't usually bring you happiness. I don't know what to do...my friends aren't there, I have no plans for the future, I have no one to love and am still really heartbroken over my last ex. What can I do? I really need help...I have been thinking a lot lately about just ending it all. I want to fix it all so badly but I don't even know where to start or how...

Most Helpful Guy

Take a deep breath... Feel the air inside your lungs? Exhale.. It means your alive.

EVERY problem you listed, only causes temporary misfortune... Maybe the people that buy your horse will treat it wonderfully; they might even stay in touch and bring her by the house for you to ride her... Afterall good karma is a great thing - feel free to ask the new owners to do so, many of the people my father sells horses to brings them by so we can put on new shoes.. My sister got out and rode one a few years ago.. So yea, it's possible. Never doubt anything, always ask until you know the answer is "no". ;)

As for the boyfriend - it truly sucks, but can you honestly and sincerely tell me that there will NEVER be another love in your life? I can gaurantee you that there will be someone better, because life is a learning experience and as we age, we learn new skills and new ways of perceiving life. Just because this guy was "the one" for then; doesn't mean he was the "one" forever.. The one you marry will hopefully be your true love, but never settle and never beat yourself up over a loss.. That's like me saying "Because my best friend died 2 years ago, I'm going to stop living .. right now".. That's stupid and selfish - you can help a ton of other people and meet a lot of great new boyfriends; all in due time.

As for friends - This is why mom and dad said: "Friends won't stick around forever".. We all have to grow up and go our own paths in life.. Some are in college, some are working harder than ever, some are at home playing video games.. But you can still see them if they answer the phone - Take the initiative and give them a call.. It may seem like a lot of work when you are so stressed out; but I can tell you from my soul that it helped me feel better, to have a friend around, when I had stuff on my plate.

Jobs - They are the worst and the best thing ever.. Without being busy, your world becomes a wreck.. But when you are so busy, all you want is freedom!.. And then when you have a job, you don't want to quit.. But when you don't have a job, you want to enjoy... What the hell is wrong with us? (Or maybe just me =P)... The only thing I can tell you is that "persistance" always pulls off better than laziness.. If two people turn in an application and only one stops by every single day to find out the progress (if they are hired or not) which do you think will be hired?.. Probably the one that was there every day :P

Plans for the future? Dig deep - do you wanna skydive? Go to college? etc.. Pick a goal and don't stop until you've accomplished it and a new goal.

As for college - Try FASFA and other grants/scholarships.. Between those you might actually get PAID to go to college (if you get enough of them).. Some scholarships you do have to pay back, so make sure they are the scholarship you are willing to accept and that you know the terms.

What Guys Said 22

First off, take suicide completely off the table. Not an option. It's not out of the ordinary for someone to ponder it while very depressed. I've been doing so quite a bit lately myself. But just imagine the pain it would cause the people that love you. That alone usually deters me. Just take it one day at a time. My advice would be to go to college. I know you said that there's no money for it but believe me there is always a way. You might not be able to go to a big expensive university but there are plenty of very affordable junior colleges. Also don't underestimate the financial aid. I didn't think I'd be able to afford it either. Turns out I get some pretty decent grants that I don't even have to pay back. Also school loans are great also. Unfortunatley you do have to pay the loans back eventually but usually with very low interest, they give you like ten years to pay them, and you usually don't have to start paying it back for like a year or two after graduation. If I was you I'd seriously look into it. There is always a way. If transportation is an issue there are also some good accredited online universities. I was in your same position at your age, I waited for 6 years before finally going back. Best thing I ever did. I hated high school but college is where it's at. It's awesome. So for real though, look into some schools. Get the college overwith. You won't regret it.

You start at the beginning. Make a list of all the problems you have. Actually sit down and write it out. Then pick out the ones that you might be able to do something about. Make a new list that's just those problems, and throw the old list away. If it's not a problem you can do something about, then there's no point in dwelling on it. Now pick the one problem on the list that you think would be the easiest to solve, and start doing something (anything) everyday that will bring you closer to solving that problem. When it's solved, cross it off the list and pick another problem. Rinse repeat.

Yes, it's certainly easier said than done, but that's how you get through the hard parts of life. One step at a time. When it feels like your feet weight 10,000 pounds it might seem impossible, but you have to keep pushing. Even the tiniest step forward is better than standing still and wallowing in self-pity.

When I was dealing with depression for reasons similar to your own (not knowing what to do with my life, and feeling like the future was so uncertain), I discovered that one of the things that made me feel better was finding somebody else who needed help and helping them. It kind of reminded me that I'm not the only one with problems, and no matter how bad I have it there are literally billions of people who have it worse than me and still manage to keep going.

Oh, and you might also make a list of all the things that are still good. You might have to think hard, but I guarantee you can think of plenty of things in your life that are worth appreciating.

No, you can't afford college on your own with your current education level, but that doesn't mean you can't go to the college of your choice. Explore your options through fafsa, your desired colleges grant/scholarship programs, and most DEFINITELY ask your high school counselor about finance options for undergrad work. You must make it count though, loans can add up so you need to do well in school in order to get the best job that'll help you pay your loans down quickly. If you still can't find a way to finance your school of choice, go to the lesser expensive college with the most street cred and bust your @ss off so that your daughter won't have to choose between school, her horse, or your house.

Now, have you even reached out to your friends for advice? I know they're young and empathizing with vulnerability isn't exactly a young person's strengths, but you can't say they've dissappeared if you haven't reached out to them. If you have been honest about your situation with them and they still don't care...then I'd say learn to start talking to your parents or the online blogs. Lots of people are willing to help online, and it's practically anonymous.

Finally, about your boyfriend. I'm sorry to hear he dumped ya. I just recently got dumped. But as Jay-Z says it "I got 99 problems but a b*tch ain't one". Despite the connotation of the lyric, it applies to guys and girls. I'm thinking that the boyfriend thing is heavy on your head since you led off with the subject, but look at what you're facing right now. Losing your horse or your parents home, potentially having to sacrifice your favorite college, and you feeling depressed. You got a lot more to important decisions on your plate to be caring about your hs boyfriend (who will most likely end up being nothing to you by the time your 1st semester of freshman year will be done).

So my remedy, get a job on campus (I worked at my school's gym...it was awesome. Met classmates, made money, made lifetime friends, and got great recommendation letters). Some of the best jobs are working for computer labs...those workers don't do shiz and they got paid about the same I did. Also, start looking into your finance options for school and choose the school with the most opportunities (large alumni network, connections to companies in your desired work field, sizable student organization options, good location, blah blah blah. And if you haven't already, start letting your friends know what your situation is like. Don't make it a spill session, but just touch on it. For example, just mention that it's weird not dating so and so again. Or you know u'll miss you horse but what other choice could be possible...etc.

Best of luck, MC. You gotta power through this by looking for ways to improve your life on your own not derive your happiness out of having a boyfriend or whatever else

Your question tells you about a direction you want to take, despite the "I have no plans" thought.

Take responsibility for your own future. When you say "I can't afford to go to the college that I really wanted to go to" do you mean that your parents can't afford to maintain you there?

Going to this college is a clear direction that you want to go in. Get a job, or a loan, and pay for it yourself.

> jobs don't usually bring you happiness

They can be frustrating from time to time, but you should try to find something you enjoy or can take a pride in. If they were pure fun, you probably wouldn't get paid for them, so sucking up the frustrations is part of the deal.

Your question has some self pity and cry for help stuff which is OK from time to time, but a bad lifestyle choice you should drop. Get off the mat, find out what it takes to fund the college step and go for it.

You have it harder than some people where all this is paid for by someone else, but you will value your achievements all the higher for this.

You can start by being positive no matter what life throws at you and look forward to tomorrow, compare to what happened today and yesterday so to speak. This thing called life has its ups and downs...but you must rise through it all no matter how down you think you may be. In other words your being challenged by life by now, but its up to you to start coming back up, or simply just give up and go more down. You seem like a sweet girl, and besides your pretty young and have more to look forward to than you think. Your not alone, there's been more people before you and there will be more people after you with your situation. Believe in yourself and be yourself and within time, you will become a better and more mature person in the long run. Once again your not alone, good luck with everything there ms.

I have been exactly where you are right now. In fact I'm kind of still their. I will tell you as much as you say your thinking of ending it all just remember there is no coming back from that. If you have any chance at happyness you need to do what ever you can to not think like that. I am right there with you all my friends kind of went on there own path following high school and we never get to see each other. College even though I go I'm still clueless to what I really want to do. My best guess to you is to take the first semiester or even year off, relax and get your home life straightend out. Do it now because once you chose to start college or go to work for a short time their becomes a time where their really is no time for relaxing. You are commited to one path for the forseable future. Continue to think ahead in your life to where you want to be and not always where you are now it can be a lot less stressfull.

As for college if that's what you chose to do I think you should look into financial aid. I know just about every college has some kind of financial aid system that can help you.

Well you can take this time to find out who you are. You may not be going to the school you wanted to but you can still go to community college, there's tons of financial aid out there and if your parents are hurting for money you should get enough to pay for all of community college. Just get good grades and then get scholarships to pay to go the school you want to. Just because your down and out doesn't mean you should ever give up on your dreams. I know when I graduated from high school I went through a period of depression, so worried about how I was going to pay for it and all of that, my parents got divorced the year before and money was really scarce but with finical aid, a student loan and help from my grandparents I made it. What I do when I get depressed is listen to music, my favorite song is I'm not alright by Sanctus Real link Talking also helps, just find a friend or a relative and just talk to them about it, you could more than likely find someone on here to talk to about it but choose carefully though. Don't be afraid to cry, don't forget how to hope and just remember now isn't forever, it may be hard but it will be better. Finally don't forget to smile, surprisingly just smiling can make a big difference.

Ending it all? NO! Stop, don't do anything, everybody cares about you. See all of the comments? We care. And if that's you in the profile picture your very beautiful :)

Contact what friends you have, the ones that care. Do get a job, you need one to survive. PLUS, you will make new friends there. Pets are hard to lose, but you CAN get through it. I've been in hell the last two months because my girlfriend just wants to be friends, and went to the dance with someone else. I couldn't eat, sleep, concentrate, or do anything! You are becoming an adult and need to adapt to the real world. Go to a cheap college, I know you have high standards, but aim lower. Even a community college, you will still get a degree and get a job. Do not resort to anything harmful to feel the hole in your heart because of this situation, such as sex, drugs, and the like. Happiness doesn't come to you. YOU GO TO IT. If you ever think you are truly going to do something bad, tell someone. Start with small things. Get anti-depressants if you really need to. Start small, and then it will build up. Get the job, get money, get friends. Go to college, get a great job, find somebody and get married = joy. Happiness comes and goes. It's the joy you want. Google around careers you are interested in and pursue them. I love writing, that's my passion. No one disappeared on you. If strangers care this much about you, I'm sure you can make many great friend.s

Take a deep breath and think of everyone and everything you know of which is worth sticking around for. How can you family deal with the loss of their daughter, let alone deal with trying to keep a roof over your head?

Now, for the hard but honest advice...

Realize life never goes as planned, and sometimes you have to sacrifice in order to walk the world. You're going to have to sacrifice the school you wanted, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't go to school at all. Remember why you wanted to go to school in the first place, and find a place which will still meet your educational goals and is affordable.

The best thing for you right now, is go to college so you can keep yourself occupied and keep your mind thinking about things besides just crappy things in your life. At school you're going to meet new friends, find a new person of romantic interest, maybe even befriend some teachers, and eventually you'll discover what your purpose is in the world.

As far as the ex goes, take this time to discover what you truly want in your ideal boyfriend. Is your ex your "ideal boyfriend?" If so take this time apart to gather your composure and learn how to be independent and a strong woman who doesn't need a man to make her happy. Once you can do that, then ask again, is your ex your "ideal man?"

If the answer is still yes and you have learned how to be an independent and strong woman, then figure out why he dumped you and is he really worth it to make changes in yourself to get him back?

And if your answer is no to "is he your ideal man?", then its time for you to take control of your love life and take your time to find the perfect boyfriend.

Remember,

you're a strong woman who can take anything thrown at her.

You're single now, but take this time to learn how to be independent without a boyfriend.

Finances are short, but adjust your school choice to still educate yourself so you can be an intelligent woman in the world.

Go to some college be it a state, community college, or trade, but keep your mind focused on other things which are better than the negative events in life right now.

And keep your eye out for new, better, friends, and possibly even the boyfriend you truly deserve.

Also, remember that your family and your current friends do need you right now, you can't take yourself away from them.

You're strong, so strong that you're not going to let the darkness of the world take you down.

You control how to act against the darkness, and ending your life is a cop out. You're better than that.

Sometimes life throws you a turd. Most people have downturns in their life; I recently went through a pretty unpleasant time myself...again. You just have to endure and try to keep things in perspective: Very few people spend their whole life with their HS sweetheart; there are lots of boys in the world, and a few of them are actually good guys. You may not be able to go to the college you want right now, but maybe you can live at home and attend a community college or something and transfer later, especially if you work PT and save some money. You might even be able to keep your horse if you do this, instead of depending on the folks.

It sounds like the confluence of events and the dissolution of your apparent plans has left you in a depressed state where you don't know what to do and just continue to sink further down. You should try to find someone you can trust to talk about this with, to help you get past it. And try to get involved in SOMETHING so you are not stuck sulking around M and D's house; I know from my own past this doesn't help matters, until you get the motivation to move forward with life. One very strong thing you have going for you is that you're young; you can always get another boyfriend, another horse, more money, but you can never buy more time.

Ending it is selfish to your family and anyone that cares about you. True jobs don't make you happy but meeting new people will. So will the money. And with money you can do things to stop thinking about being depressed. It will get better. Seriously you can't go to college or you don't want to. there are things called student loans that will allow you to go. If your friends didn't stick by your side they aren't really friends are they? So my advise get a job some student loans and make a lot more friends. It will happen

hey ending life is by no means an answer all you do is end you question by giving all your loved ones more like why, was it my fault... etc etc.. don't do that to someone you love. look life is always going to be hard that's why you just have to try harder to make it better and sooner or later it gets better I've been where you are lost in time not knowing what to do where to go everything is down.. I kept going making it better formyself. college will come you will have your heart broken many times and break the heart of others until you find you one and only. friends may be busy with a million of there oun things you have to keep in mind they may have good reason to stay away or sometimes it just hard for people to be around someone that brings them down people like to be positive. just do yourself a favor and look out for yourself before you look out for others don't sacrific your happiness for others have a stong heart and you'll find your path in life.. good luck and know people always from somewhere outthere had it hard and made it better and will continue for the rest of time its what makes life great to strive for more and better then you had before

I would say start going out and hanging out with your best friends as much as you can. Unfortunately everyone needs money.. so get a job. Bust your ass a lot as much as you can, once that money starts piling in, you will feel so good about yourself, and have that "freedom' to do what you want and get what you want. It will take some time, but you will have to sooner or later. Go out with friends in your spare time and have fun, possibly meet guys that could be better then your ex, and you will also get over him faster.

A roof and food and an education matter more right now than feeling sorry for yourself. In times like these, you need to not think of everything at once, but only think of things that you can handle. Make a plan of action then follow through with it.

Jobs usually don't bring happiness, but they can bring you money. Money can put you into school where you can make new friends and new connections. Meeting new people and learning new things both at school and at your new job will help you get over losing your ex.

When you say "I have no one to love and am still really heartbroken over my last ex" you are no doubt saying what is true and how you feel. But in the scheme of things, that self pity doesn't really do much. Whenever you are overwhelmed, thinking about the load placed on you only worsens the pain. If you grit your teeth, believe in yourself, and drive through the weight, you'll find yourself in a position where you have a manageable load and are able to enjoy life.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don't even think of ending it all ... your a perfect beautiful girl ... good things will come to you eventually ... in my opinion college isn't everything ... everyone has to work for a living ... just as long as you graduated school doors will be open for you ... hang in there ... everybodys friends dissapear evetually and you'll make new ones .. if most of your depression is from losing your boyfriend then get another better one that will make you happy for the rest of your life

hope I'm not sounding like a creeper but you can talk to me if you want

Get a job working for a college full time. They usually offer free classes to those employees. Personally I would hold off because I didn't know what I wanted to do when I got out of high school either. I figure that by 24 you should have more of a clue.

I have always said that you should follow your passion. You get paid for doing something you love and it doesn't feel like work at all.

What Girls Said 13

Start looking at universities with rolling enrollment with in-state tuition. What degree are you going for? What's your GPA? Have you filled out your FAFSA? Look at some state universities in less than perfect locations.

As a former student of University of Alaska Anchorage, it's a well-priced university with a growing number of degree programs and it is always looking for out-of-state transfers. You can talk with staff members beforehand to see what your scholarship/financial aid options are. I'm sure the same could be said for numerous smaller state universities.

They don't have the bragging rights the large names do, but they also don't have the price-tag and you're walking out with that diploma either way.

Also, the smaller universities tend to have more employed student: parents, working students, people vying for promotion, etc. That means their class schedules are made to fit numerous calenders, not just the general dedicated student.

Start looking to become financially independent as much as possible. If a house is hinged on the sale of one animal, your parents are in a very precarious place. I know the feed and lodging of a horse is expensive, but the sooner you can take care of yourself, the less you have to worry and the less your parents have to consider.

You need to learn to plan past derailments. Life knocks you on your ass all the time. The trick is to learn to stand up, dust yourself of, and just do SOMETHING. You may end up finding yourself in a place you never imagined, happier than you've ever been.

to fix it you need to see or hear about something worse, here are some ideas:

you can turn on TV and listen to the news, look at what happens in most countries children are killed, people are dying from starvation, houses are putted into the ground...

or you can go to any hospital and look at the kids, women, and men who are ill and then you will see how lucky you are because you are healthy, and all of them are fighting for the life that you wana end..

or just wake up in the morning and think; here is a new day let's see what we can do about it...

life is great, and what makes it awesome that we have the power to change our destiny and start over every time we come into a dead end...

and think that things you have stated nothing was yours actually all was given by your family, so try to make a life from a scratch and this time the things that you will gain will be yours, and one day you will be able to tell you children and why not grandchildren how their grandmother didn't give up because she was tough and started every thing from a zero :)

you'll be OK. just keep having hope that things will turn out, that you will meet a cool new friend. That you will find your passion and your life's purpose. That you will find a good job, make new friends at your job. That you are a great person, with great things to offer the world. Don't take life's gift and do it away. Some people are sick and have no legs or are with cancer, or with no food. They are still living you will be OK. If you want, you can turn to God and pray every single day. Read the bible and realize that Jesus loves you and he will always give you strength. you're young. you still have a great big future ahead for you. Try applying for financial aid and go to a nice college. Try to get a nice job that you might like. Try to go to clubs, or look around the community for things to do!

Calm down,relax,take a breather,seems like you've had a lot you've kept inside without sharing it with anybody.

First off,suicide is not the answer,it will not fix problems,won't bring friends back,won't give you your horses back nor will it get you over your ex.

You have to evaluate all of these problems one by one.

School.I won't ask you to tell me what school you want to go to,BUT my suggestion is,research how many hours it would take for you to be able to transfer to the college you want to go to.Enroll in a community college,get the minimum hours(or maximum whatever haha),apply for grants,financial aid etc,and transfer to the college you want to go to.

While you're in community college,save up money for what you may need to pay for.

Friends.Sometimes we don't realize this,but,WE are actually the ones who push our friends away and...at the end of the day,it becomes evident.Have you tried contacting them and initiating things?Or is it a situation where you just...kind of go your own ways?Sometimes you have to put in a little more effort,but if it gets to the point of where you're "fighting" for a friendship,then I say give up.Shouldn't have to fight for a friendship.

Get a diary and write in it daily.you would be so surprised at how much it really helps.

I've never been in as tough of a situation as you are in, but I've been very depressed. What I learned is that everything revolves around how you choose to view your situation. Will you look at what can go right for you or will you only think about what's gone wrong. You have to change how you think at a very basic level...and it takes practice to make your first thought a positive one rather than a negative one, but keep at it...keep reinforcing positive thinking! I was at a very low point and thought about suicide a lot, but I've gotten much better now and I think about all the great things I would have missed if I would have ended it. (I was Torn Up! over my ex but now I've met an even better guy!...I've had good times with new friends...I've seen beautiful sunsets and my cousin's new baby)

...and a lot of the times what kept me from doing anything was that suicide can be selfish...think about how your mother/whoever loves you would feel...how much harder would you have made their life! you'd be transferring your pain onto those who love you.

If you can afford it...and even if you can't...I think you should look into depression medicine...it greatly helped me!

...Just keep telling yourself you're a warrior...you're a champion and you're not going to let anything beat you down.

Maybe you can apply for need based scholarships. ...think about what you genuinely care about in this world...and pursue it...make a plan...force yourself to be active. a stagnant mind is bad when you're depressed. Exercise regularly...it releases happy chemicals in your brain...and there's the side effect of looking hotter and being more confident in yourself!

I just graduated also, its hard but friends disappear, they have all gone their separate ways and don't have as much time anymore...i have the same problem with friends right now, its a transition of life though, I'm sorry about your boyfriend, but he isn't right for you for some reason, you may not see it now but someday you will look back and realize it, there are a lot of amazing guys out there and you are the perfect age to just go have fun, try enroling in community college for now and get your general education, those classes are all the same as the ones you would take at a big university then save up or get loans or grants and transfer to the school you want. Google FAFSA and fill out an application, I was granted $6,000 for school. Just tell yourself everything will be OK and maybe try praying, there are always going to be hard parts of life but if you stick it out and keep your head up your hard work will pay off, if you need someone to talk to you can message me :) I hope this helps

Just like everyone here, I know what you're going through. I'm lost myself and have had some many trials and hardships lately. But the truth is, life can get really tough. Really really tough. But these are the times in your life that will shape who you become. If you give up without a fight and just succumb to the sadness, you will never grow from this and you will never make things better. But if you hold your head high and get through the storm, think positive and let life take its course while trying to be the best person you can be then you will see good changes come your way. When you feel like everything's falling apart, and you're at rock bottom, that's when you're in the position to change everything for the better. The quote "It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything." fits well with your situation. I really hope you strive from this situation, because you seem like a beautiful and smart girl who is capable of great things. Good luck.

You're not alone. I'm basically in the same boat, girl. Don't end it because I'm sure there are people who care. I think you're better off finding new friends, helping your family cope and when you get a job, yeah its stressful, but it keeps your mind busy. I work 55 hours a week now and I tell you, I don't think about the people I lost as much as I did without a job. |: stay safe, and I'm not going to tell you to be happy, or get over it all, but in time, there will be something that comes along. you're really pretty, beautiful. You'll find love, and friends, and your family will always be there. If you end it now, you'll never know what's to come.

Alot of people have been in your shoes, believe me. Getting a job should help. That will introduce you to new friends and maybe a guy. Apply for student loans and with your money status you will probably get free money. School will also bring new heights to your social life. Getting a hobby or playing sports on a team will also help you with the pain. Take it day to day, from the sounds of it, it can only get better. Be strong and best is to come... good luck and best of wishes.

i work at a barn and have my own horses too. I havnt been here because I was being kept in a hospital because of depression. I know how you feel, and I'm so so sorry. I'm only (almost) 16, but you can email me if you want someone to talk to. we didn't have any money either and that's why I work where I do. hang in there k.

Hello..you don't have to be depressed..some other people don't go to university directly..they have to have a partime job and save and then go to school...come to think of those people who can't afford to buy food for all meals..smile!