Board-tans/t

/t/-tan looks like a stereotypical pirate. He has black hair with a thick mustache and beard, a scar over right eye and on his left cheek (presumably from battles with the law), a loyal parrot on his shoulder that squeaks out phrases like "MOAR!", and wears a tricorn hat with a "/t/" printed on it. He also owns a cutlass, which he uses to cut down swaths of leechers.

Resides on a boat, but this boat changes depending on how efficiently it can handle the torrents.

He's a pirate, so he takes what he wants. His thievery (if it can be even called that) is nullified, however, by him not outright stealing what he wants, but by making duplicates of it for him to keep. He usually steals pornography, and he has no qualms with sharing his collection with absolutely anybody.

He likes to enter rooms via a swinging rope.

The story about his scars changes all the time, sometimes he'll say they came from fighting for MegaUpload's life, though he's only sometimes aware MEGA exists despite his intense love of it.