I Lash Out After Supressing of Anger

Asked by dylancroucher on 2018-05-8 with 1 answer:

From Australia: I have a long history of lashing out on people who don’t deserve it at all and now I have a partner. I am extremely concerned for her safety. I care about this person very much and the last thing I want to do is hurt her.

since the start of high school I have had anger issues due to stress. I learnt to supress it for a long amount of time but have no way to release as I have sensitive housemates.

in the past I have seriously injured teachers that pushed me over the edge. people avoid me because I’m known as the quiet angry guy. I hate my reputatoion and am desperate for a solution.

You are correct to be concerned. You have already hurt teachers and you have a reputation you’ve probably deserved but you say you hate. At 17, you have lots of life ahead of you. The time to take care of whatever is at the root of your anger is now — before you again hurt someone and end up in jail or worse.

No one pushes you over the edge. You leap off of it. No one can make you act on anger except you. Stop blaming others and accept responsibility. Something has you on a high simmer already. Once you experience a little stress, you throw your controls away and let loose.

You need help: Help to identify and deal with whatever is underlying your chronic anger and help finding other ways to deal with stress besides blowing up.

A mental health professional can help you figure out why you are stuck developmentally in this way. An anger management course or support group might be a useful supplement. Such classes/groups provide coaching and reinforcement in skills for managing stress and navigating conflict.

I also suggest that you start some kind of meditation. You are too reactive to stress. Daily meditation will bring down your baseline of reactivity so you have more time to think about how you want respond to provocations.

I wish you well. Dr. Marie

I Lash Out After Supressing of Anger

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Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Lash Out After Supressing of Anger. Psych Central.
Retrieved on January 21, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/05/11/i-lash-out-after-supressing-of-anger/

Last updated: 8 May 2018Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.