Wednesday, November 24, 2010

growing up

I have had such an amazing life so far. I had the childhood everyone dreams of. I got all the toys I wanted, went on lots of fun trips, and had friends and family who always wanted to play with me. I always had nice clothes and a great group of friends I could rely on. I even had the boyfriend that everyone was jealous of and everyone wanted a relationship like we had. Life was all a big party.

Me and my amazing mom

Mom: You have given me the world. If there is ever something I want, you always make sure I have it and I'm satisfied. You give up so much to make sure I'm happy and have a good life and I can never thank you enough. I know you may not realize it, but I look up to you so much and I hope I can be as incredible of a mom to my kids as you've been to me. You're the best! I love you!

My best friends: Krista, me, Isabel, Kimi, Lauren, and Nicole

Kris: You have really been there for me through a lot of tough times even with all the crap that's gone down with us. You know more about me than most people and I seriously trust you with my life. I know you can do anything if you put your mind to it! Good luck at Pepperdine next semester babe, you're gonna rock it!! I love you!

Iz: You're my hero. You have so much power and you speak your mind and I really admire that about you. If I could even be half the woman I know you're capable of being, I would be leading a great life. Thanks for putting up with me all the time. You help me more than you know! I love you!

Kim: Wow. What memories we've had together. I wish we could go relive all of our amazing times at dance, Disneyland, and all of our random adventures. I know you're going to be way successful with whatever path you decide to take and I can't wait to see you do it! I love you!

Laur: We're going on 14 years now and look at how amazing they've been! Sure, we've had our rough times, but even still, you've always been there for me and had my back. You are one of the most loyal people I know and have a lot of potential. Never give up, even when the road gets rocky, cause that is what makes you stronger! I love you!

Nik: I think you probably know some of the most random things about me. You and Iz both. Haha and that is what makes our friendship so fun! I'm sorry I'm not around more, but as you know, I'm always here for you!! Thanks for always being there to pick me up when I have a rough day and always dealing with my crap! I love you!

My closest friends from my graduating class

My very best friend Marissa and I

Wow. Words cannot express how much I admire you. Seriously, like if I could be one person, it would be you. You have such an amazing personality and I love everything about you. I don't know that many other people could deal with the two of us the way we do with each other. Haha these two months without you have been SO hard. If it weren't for that quick visit in October, I don't know what I would've done! We will always be best friends. Nothing will ever change that! Thanks for always having my back and helping me with my everyday problems. I look up to you more than you can even imagine. Follow you dreams babe. You're gonna soar! :) I love you!

My best friends: Berlin, Grace and I

Berlin: KIRBSS :) We always have each others' backs even when everyone else seems to have turned theirs. That is a quality of a true friend. I've loved all of our nights where we go on drives and talk about our lives and our boys. Hahaha you're an amazing girl! I love you!

Grace: I have no words. We have gone through SO much together. Nutcracker (49), trek, DC.. The list could go on and on. Seriously, like you are one of the most incredible people I've ever met. If I could be exactly like you, I would. You have so much potential and I know you are going to grow into the most amazing person and take over the world. Thanks for being there for me when I needed someone to cry to and always sharing everything with me! :) I love you!

My best friends: Ashley, me, and Annie

Ash: Best friends for LIFE! I can't believe we've stayed so close, literally, since you were born. I will never forget how great of times we had when we were little girls and how the good times just keep on coming! You can do anything you put your mind to and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!! I can't wait for more memories to be made! I love you!

Annie: BIRDMAN! Pahahah I really don't know what I'd do without you. We've had way too many amazing memories to even count. I love everything about you and you are an astonishing young woman and I can't wait to see where life takes you! Dream big babe!! I love you!

My best friend Emma and I

Em: I know you've had your fair share of rough patches lately, but never let that bring you down. I will always be here waiting to pick you up and make everything better! You have been there for me through EVERYTHING and seriously babe, I don't know what I would do without you!! You are so amazing and you mean the world to me! I love you!

My best friends: Caitlin, me, and Sally

Cate: Naaaaan! You have seen me through a lot more than most people have. I can't thank you enough for helping me get through all the rough times. If you hadn't been there, I probably wouldn't be the girl I am today. You are by far the most loyal person I've ever met and it's so nice knowing you will always have my back! Can't wait for all the memories to come, Sis! :) I love you!

Sal: Ah how I admire you. You are such a strong young woman and I've always been drawn to you! Ever since the first time we met, I knew we were going to be way good friends, and look where we are now! I trust you with my life and when something happens, good or bad, I am always so excited to tell you about it! You're the best and I can't thank you enough for everything!! I love you!

My amazing love Mckay and I

Babe, you're the most amazing guy I've ever met. Thank you so much for all the amazing times and for being my best friend throughout those 14 months. I can never repay you for everything you did for me! Stay true to yourself and I know you will accomplish unbelievable things! I hope one day you find the most perfect girl in the world and that you guys live a long, happy life together! She'll be a lucky one and you deserve the world, so don't settle! I love you!

My amazing love McKay and I

But this year has really made me grow up. Starting college was basically like starting my life over, especially with joining DG. I've met so many amazing people and I have a completely different group of best friends than I did before. I rarely even see my high school friends these days. I do entirely different things than I did before, and we have gone our separate ways. I am moving out of my parents house which will mean adjusting to being on my own. People truly believe in me because I've taken the next step by going to college and putting all that I have into achieving something and going far in life. If someone had told me last year where I would be today, not a chance would I believe them. I've done a complete 180 and most of the things in my life have changed.

Now, not to say I don't love it. Because I do. I still have an amazing life and I am beyond fortunate. But I no longer take these things for granted. I realize what I have and what it takes to get the things I want. I even contribute to make sure I can have these things. When I was little, everyone always told me life would go by fast. They told me I would probably never see my best friends from high school after graduation. I never believed them. I was always looking way too far into the future. But now I wish I would've taken those moments in and made them last as long as I could.

"Remember when getting high meant on a swing? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst thing you could get from boys was cooties and the worst thing you could get from girls was a cold? When mom was your only hero and dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth? When your worst enemies were your siblings? When race issues were about who ran the fastest? When the only drug you knew was cough medicine? When wearing a skirt meant you were a princess, not a slut? When the only thing you smoked was the tires on your bike? When the only thing that would hurt you was skinned knees? When war was just a card game? When the only thing that could be broken was your toys? When drama was just a class? When goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? When we couldn’t wait to grow up? Yeah, those were the days."

When I was little, I would've given anything to grow up. Now, I would give anything to be a young, naive girl again; to have never experienced heartbreak, to still think a stork dropped your baby sister off on the porch, to still believe in Santa and the Easter bunny. Everything was easy and if you messed up, it didn't matter. If you make a mistake now, it comes back to bite you. And it keeps biting. You actually have to do something about it to make it right and fix it. Now, being in a sorority, everyone says these four years go by so fast and are the best years of your life. I'm going to try my hardest to live every day to the fullest and not let a moment pass me by. I want to be able to enjoy the best time of my life and not look back and wish there was something I had or hadn't done. I am going to take every opportunity that I get and make it count. I'm going to spend as much time as I can with my friends and family and I'm going to fall in love. I'm going to do these things because the people I meet in college are the ones who will be there for the rest of my life. I will make sure I keep in contact with old friends and not let those relationships die. I'm going to do this because they have been there for me for the past six years through thick and thin. They know me better than I know myself. I will make sure the new friends I've made have the same opportunities as my old friends did to grow close with me and learn every little detail about me. I will spend more time with my family, because they'll be gone sooner than I expect. Things can change at any time and I don't want to have any regrets. I will be better at making sure the people I hold dearest to me know how much I love them. I will remember the little things, because life is made up of lots of fast moments and when it all comes down to it, it's those little things and happy memories that truly count. THOSE are the things you should remember. Not the fights you got in, or the people who made you mad. Because each moment you spend being angry is a minute of your life you could've spent being happy that you can never get back.

If I had my life to live over again,

I would try to make more mistakes next time.

I would relax. I would limber up.

I would be sillier than I have been this time.

I would be less hygienic. I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers,

And watch more sunsets.

I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would have more actual troubles and less imaginary ones.

But I have had my moments.

And if I had them to do again, I would have more of them.

Fast moments, one after another.

Instead of living so many years…

So many years ahead of each day.

If I had it to do over again,

Next time I would start barefooted earlier in the spring.

And stay that way later in the fall.

I would play hookie much more.

I wouldn’t make such good grades, except by accident.

I would have more headaches,

And drink more tomato juice.

I would go to more dances.

I would ride more merry-go-rounds.

And I would pick more daisies.

These are my goals. This is what I am going to do to strive to be better and enjoy life more, and I hope to be an example to everyone around me so they do the same. ΔΓ ♥ ⚓