COUPLES

Polly has received advanced training in couples therapy from Ellyn Bader, Ph.D. and Pete Pearson, Ph.D., (In Quest of the Mythical Mate), as well as Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., Francine Beauvoir, Ph.D. and Bruce Crapuchettes, Ph.D. She has been helping couples deepen and enrich their relationships for 30 years. Using a structured dialogic process, couples are moved from conflict and reactivity to intentionality. Polly coaches couples in restoring or deepening wholeness and connection by assisting them in creating a conscious marriage/committed relationship. As a coach, her alliance is with the relationship rather than with either individual and she holds the vision of what is possible in the relationship.

The therapy process begins with an assessment of the couples developmental stage and style of communication and moves to establishing mutual goals. Polly then skillfully guides and coaches the couple through various processes to meet their goals. A primary focus is on the creation of a safe relational space in which to do the work of connection, and couples learn that the reciprocal creation of safety is done with intentional dialogue. Each begins to view the other as separate and worthy of having their uniqueness honored and accepted within the relational context. This process is termed differentiation: a transcendence of the ego to accept the reality of the other. Sessions are one hour in length and almost always include homework. The more couples practice between sessions, the sooner the relationship will begin to realize improvement.

"For one human being to love another human being: That is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person - it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become a world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great demanding claim on him, something that chooses him and calls him to vast distances."