Is Anal Sex Safe?

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I am in a committed relationship and want to try anal sex. Is it safe? Is there anything I should be concerned about or aware of?

— Gin, Florida

Anal sex is usually safe, assuming you take some precautions. In fact, many people consider anal sex to be an exciting way to spice up a relationship — there are numerous nerve endings in that region that feel great when stimulated!

Before you get started, though, it is important to understand that the anus, unlike the vagina, has no natural lubrication. This puts you at a greater risk of tearing or pain. A lubricant is necessary for comfort, and I suggest using a condom as well. A condom will aid a feeling of smoothness and reduce the risk of an STD (for those who may not know their partner very well). Also, keep in mind that it is unsafe to follow anal sex with vaginal intercourse because of the risk of introducing bacteria. So make sure he gets a thorough cleaning before moving on!

As you've never indulged in anal sex, I recommend starting small in your initial exploration. Have him use his finger (but clip those fingernails!) before you actually engage in sex. Perhaps repeat this activity a few times, until you feel ready to graduate either to larger intimacy products or to your partner.

Also, remember that it is essential for you to be relaxed when experimenting with anal sex or your body will be more likely to respond negatively. Try sharing a hot bath or an erotic massage beforehand. Most important, listen to your body from the beginning and stop if there is any pain. If you do feel pain, practice patience and continue exploring later. If you are cautious and take your time, the experience you seek is likely to contain all the pleasure and excitement you anticipated!

Laura Berman, PhD, is a leading sex and relationship educator and therapist, popular TV and radio host, New York Times best-selling author, and assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago.

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