And it never fails that when all this happens and u fill less than a piece of crap that everyone wants to ask you" how you doing today?" And of course I throw this same ole same ole at them and they could care less either.

_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

I know what it is like to have 'a few little words' rip the rug out from under you. You aren't back at the beginning but it feels that way. I am really sorry this person hurt you so deeply.

I know you are probably not in a place to hear this stuff but I'm just going to remind you anyway (We ALL need reminding sometimes)

"they are ready to forgive you as long as it is on their own terms and conditions."A: You have already been forgiven by the One who's approval is of the MOST importance. As Christian surviors we need to remind ourselves that God's forgiveness and acceptance is worth so much more than any human's.

"So why should I expect to me special now ??" A: Because you have the Holy spirit in you - "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" Cor 5:17

When stuff like this happens we just have to get back to the word - so God can remind us of the truth that He loves us, accepts us as his son and has forgiven us of all the stuff we have done. If God has forgiven our sin then who are we to hold onto it. The price/debt has been paid so now all we need to do is say thankyou and move on. (I am still working on this too and I know it IS NOT easy. Sorry if this sounds simplistic and harsh but I believe it is the truth) We have worth because of who we are in Him.

To me you're not nothing - you have been a such a positive influence in my life that words can't explain.

Farmer, thanks bud. Thanks for the thoughts and words. This too shall pass I reckon. It just , well I don't know. No sense in a pity party for me. I know when we are attacked it is strong and hard to try and throw us out of the graces. It just hits so hard and fast like somebody hits you with a ball bat right in the gut. Tour words mean more than you know.

_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

After a hard couple of days battling some depression and feeling or worthlessness I feel better today. Well I am not depressed anyway. It is weird how some of the smallest things can set it into motion. Wish they made a magic pill for this kinda stuff. Oh well. Thanks for the inspiration Farmer. You are a good bloke and your words were very much needed. It is already tomorrow where you are at... Ha. That still blows my mind.

Well we all struggle and we all improve I reckon. That is part of the journey thru this recovery. I am a 4 wheel drive with a 6 inch lift kit that is ready for all the ruts and bumps. In the end I think it will make me a better person. Just like a lot of our squabbles and issues in these threads. It opens our eyes to different points of views. I am grateful for this site and people.

Edited by Country (09/30/1208:49 PM)

_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

I think that we are in control of our own recovery. I really think that a Positive mental attitude can go a long way in recovery. We can also choose to stay in a repeating cycle. I think that sometimes we get caught up in a self pity party an that causes us to regress. I mean it is only normal after what we have been thru and we rarely get sympathy from others. But I think it is so important for us to see this when it starts to occur and get positive instead. This mind trauma we suffered has to release its grip and some point. We must make it or it never will. Best in healing fellas. Roll Tide

_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

So I go for my first real EMDR session Friday at noon. I am nervousness but optimistic about it. She said she would start me off with something not so traumatic and then over the next sessions get into my past. I am going all in though because I really think this is going to be for the best. I will post later on how it goes in case anyone else may be interested in it. Best wishes fellas

_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

_________________________
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

Hey Country,I have been reading your posts and different thoughts. I can relate to a lot of what you are experiencing with God, your wife and what matters most and having to deal with mind and body trauma. I am on a long journey now to dealing with my mind and body traumas and making sense of it. Yet still trying to cope with having a good relationship with God and my wife.On one of your posts you mentioned you were thinking of me and me telling my small group about my CSA. Not sure if I followed up on that and for that I am truly sorry. But to let you know, everyone was very attentative and accepting me. It was good to have 3 of my male friends in the group who I have personally disclosed my story to as added support. But after telling the group, I feel like things are getting easier for me to discuss the CSA topic with almost anyone. And my hopes are that not only just this group of friends, but a larger audience might hear my story sometime in the future to gain awareness. I will just trust in the Lord to make that happen and that I recognize the opportunity to do so.Thanks for being so open to revealing your thoughts.

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