Sand, fresh cow patties, a nasty hike-a-bike . . . fantastic terrain and two amazing overlooks. “Gallup Retro” was the theme for this week’s Wednesday night ride. Bob relived his youth by giving a tour of the neglected and long forgotten North Hogback trail and White Cliffs loop to Alan, Greg, Paul, Andy and Chuck. Highlights:

1.TERRAIN BILLIONAIRES: In case you missed it, a couple of months ago in Cortez Chuck gave an impassioned speech while standing atop a soap box (or was it a sag line?) about how any one of the hundreds of mesas or buttes we take for granted in Gallup would be a national park if it were located in Illinois. His oratory reached fevered pitch and then concluded with the bold statement that we were all “terrain billionaires.” Wednesday night may have proved his point.

2.THE CLIFF NOTES VERSION OF THE WHITE CLIFFS RIDE: Fishtailing over an abandoned, sandy trail. A nasty hike-a-bike with gut busting laughter echoing off the canyon walls. Ponderosa’s bursting out of a sublime, sandstone overlook. Riding in Gallup’s original single-track - still moist from a late afternoon shower. Chasing cows while snaking through the flats. Grinding up to the White Cliffs overlook to survey our realm before heading for home.

3.EVIL LURKS: The dramatic changes in Chuck’s personality from night to morning are well established and well documented. It’s time to discuss another one of his persona “triggers”: pavement. Simply put, when Chuck’s tires touch pavement – even when loaded down by his infamous 27 compartment camelback – things change. He changes from a cool, laid back dude to an evil roadie. Within seconds of reaching pavement, Chuck threw the peloton into a state of continual frenzy by throwing attacks like he was wannabe Cadell Evans.

4.UNVEILING DELAYED. As the pack approached the brutal Burke Drive hill, Bob was saved from the final gut-busting sprint by a timely – some say prearranged – call from Peter who then joined the pack to enjoy Greg’s hospitality. The unveiling of this year’s jerseys – which feature Peter’s arch nemesis, the Bread Springs loop sheep - was temporarily delayed by a mix up with the Fed Ex delivery.

A CONCLUDING QUESTION: When do you know that you are really in trouble? And by trouble were talking about perpetually taking grief from the rest of the pack. This week we’re going to throw you a curveball. We’re not “just asking”; we’ll actually answer this week’s question: You know that you are really in trouble when you “make the jersey.”