By the bathroom door Prole1 is putting the finishing touches to a space ship. Prole2 is busy with a pile of small pieces.

Me: Nice space ship.

Prole1: Thanks, it has a laser here, and a big gun here, these are it’s engines and it has sensors here and here and here so no one can sneak up in it.

Me: Wow, looks good.

Prole1: Yep, and here is where the pilot sits.

Me: Nice.

Prole2: I made this mobile.

He pronounces ‘mobile’ as one might pronounce ‘Bat-mobile’.
He is holding an improbable number of wheels joined together.

Me: It’s a good…thing.

Prole2: Look it goes ZOOMING FAST in this way and that way and that way and all ways.

Me: I…

Prole2: And it has a gun and a thing and the driver is here and he has a jetpack and a gun.

Me: Well…

Prole2: We made bases, I have all the bad guys and stuff and he has all the good guys.

Me: Right…where is your base?

Prole2: It’s here, it’s CAPTAIN SKULL’s base, these are the guns and all the droids look out from here and they can shoot. They have these mobiles and the helicopter is a spaceship and the space pirates can go ZOOMING FAST at the good guys when they attack.

Prole1: My base is here, it’s where the Jedi live, you can see the weapons we have and I have some droids too. They can get around on these speeders and my spaceship can land here.

Me: A lot of guns.

Prole1: Yes, we have a lot of guns because the bad guys have a lot of guns. That’s Master Yoda’s control deck.

Prole2: They have a lot of guns.

Me: Yes. A lot of droids.

Prole1: Yes, a lot of droids. They are all looking after the bases.

There is something odd though and I decide to probe deeper.

Me: Ummm…where are all the guys?

Prole1: What?

Me: Where are all the good guys and bad guys? I can see the droids, where are Captain Skull and the pirates and Yoda and all the Jedi?

Prole2 lifts up a card board box. Under it is a pile of lego figures.

Proel2: They are in here.

Me: Are they fighting?

Prole2: No, that’s the kitchen, Captain Skull is making biscuits and the guys are all helping him to cook.

I have been worried about it for a while, the first three films in the series can be quite close to the bone.

Pressure and bargaining, bargaining and pressure. Yes to the Star Wars series, no to Harry Potter, X-Men and any Avengers linked film. Not yet.

The first three films are the worst, for the most part they are fairly harmless romps through space, as long as you ignore the mild bondage and rubber wear the female protagonist seems most comfortable in during “romantic” scenes and the fact that one of the characters, “Annie”, gets dismembered and set on fire whilst still alive.

“Annie” then becomes Darth Vader, for those of you who don’t know, and in a remarkably improbable series of events and plot points (in which all characters behave as if they have no intelligent thought between them) we lurch into the much cuddlier final three films.

After the film Prole1 wanted more detail.

Prole1: So, in Star Wars the Galactic Senate is what?

Me: What?

Prole1: What is the Galactic Senate?

Me: It’s that place with all those round floaty things with people standing in them and talking. Where the Evil Emperor comes from.

Prole1: Yes I know that but why are they doing all that talking?

Me: Well, it’s the Government of the Galaxy.

Prole1: Muh?

Me: Ok, if our house was a planet, and there was a Galactic Senate one of us would have to go there to discuss what our planet thought should happen in the Galaxy. They would go to the senate and be a Senator.

Prole1: Would you go? No, you are in charge here. One of us would go.

Me: Yes, one of you would be a Senator and go. We would vote for it.

Prole1: I would go.

Me: Well, it’s a democracy so we would vote.

Prole1: You can’t vote because you are in charge and that’s not a democracy. He can’t vote because he is on the toilet.

Me: He has been up there a while.

Prole1: So when I got there I could get a floaty thing and tell the other planets what we thought?

Me: Yes.

Prole1: Like in Parliament?

Me: Ummm, yes, just like Parliament I suppose.

Prole1: So I’d be like a …what are they?

Me: Politician? MP?

Prole1: MP! MP! We learned about them at school. There are lots of them in a big house.

Me: That’s right, they all talk….

Prole1: And there is the one, the one they all voted for who is in charge?

Me: The Prime Minister, our Prime Minister at the moment is David Cameron.

Prole1: Prime Minister. Yes. Prime Minister…..

Short pause whilst Prole1 jams his fingers in his ears, screws up his face and looks at the light bulb.

The light shade is split where I tried to hit Prole2 with the beanbag earlier and caught it with the up swing.
He is a slippery one but I got him in the end.