Honestly, bro, you're way too tense about the action itself. You worry too much about getting hit.

That ain't fear, now. It's worry. You don't want to take a shot, and it's interfering with your every movement. It all flows from comfort. You're new, so you aren't going to be comfortable for awhile, but what you CAN do is focus on something each sparring session. You also look like you are trying REALLY hard to keep from delivering a hard shot. Just work.

Have a goal, have some tricks you are determined to try, have a primary note for yourself(I'm going to use my jab more today), and go do it.

Going out a sparring light with nebulous intentions and no trust for your technique serves nothing.

Trust me, intention and sparring with some purpose actually helps you loosen up. I've been fighting 30 years, and I look robotic, stiff, and unimaginative when I'm bull****ting in a no danger spar.

Next, stop caring about D. Defense at the young level is going to be as much about feeling and experience as about actively executing techniques. Defense is 80% muscle memory and awareness. Practice that by simply executing your plan and punching. If you are being schooled, you'll get out of the way of what you can, and be fine.

Next, fight, man. You're working hard, give yourself the joyful memories an the stories of battle.

Keep at it, bud! Keep us posted.

Jack Dempseys book championship fighting says to teach guys offense first...because if you teach defense first you tend to create a timid fighter.. he basically suggests its better to show a guy the stance and all that...teach the punches..let him spar some and get a feel for it, than teach the defense (of course that means he is going to get hit allot for some sparring sessions..but thats old school tough **** i guess).

i personally wouldnt put a fighter in to spar before he has learned at least some basic catches and parries, having said that..i think the idea of focusing on offense first is correct.