Blacksburg's Least Reliable News Source

05/01/2010

Huckleberry Trail Shout-a-bouts

Local
Huckleberry Trail enthusiasts bumped, jostled and cursed each other this week
as they navigated the controversial new roundabouts.

The Town of
Blacksburg installed roundabouts at various mileposts in an effort to calm the
bikers, joggers, and walkers who pass each other on the heavily used
narrow exercise trail.

While
traffic has slowed, the whining has increased:

“I was
rear-ended by one of those young mother-jogger types pushing a monster
stroller,” whined retiree and avid walker Stan Barksdale of Blacksburg. “She was going
way to fast around the circle. We got into it. And her snooty toddler even gave
me the baby finger!"

“I’m totally
disgusted with the whole project,” whined cyclist and Tech grad student, Wendy Toot, a noontime
trailblazer. “I have set mileage to complete each day on my lunch break, and
these roundabouts are slowing me to a snail’s pace.”

“On your
left, dammit!” shouted numerous enthusiasts caught in a maelstrom at the Kraft
Drive/Trail instersection roundabout. All seemed to think they were in the right about being on the
left first…or something like that.

Even a grazing cow watching the shout-a-bouts from the bordering Virginia Tech dairy
field had an opinion:

“We tried
those things in the milk barn. It was udder confusion,” she quipped.