Mystery Express

It’s a game of crime and deduction. You have to get on the Mystery Express. Board the train, Thrakbog.

Nope.

What?

I won’t. Last time, I used that form of tin of transport on my way to get here everyone around me got sick.

That was because of your smell, Thrakbog.

Oh, hm. Hehe. Alright then. I get on the train. What next?

There’s going to be a murder and you have to find out who did it.

Nothing so easy. That would be me, wouldn’t it? Who else could possibly be the murderer? I am an orc, for badness’ sake!

That’s not how this game works, sorry. There’ll be quite a few suspects. And you will move from one car to the other, talk to people and find out how the murder was done and where exactly.

What does it matter? Should I not use the opportunity and loot the body? No? I’m gonna take this bag then. Hang on? Who is that? Stop staring at me, gray human torso!

He’s the conductor, Thrakbog. Normally he would check your ticket. Don’t worry, you have one. Right now you can ask him questions, after you searched the contents of the bag. Remember, everyone’s a suspect.

Then I’ll blame the conductor, he’ll be arrested and I get the bag.

He did not do it. Find the real murderer, please. Move to another car, ask the other passengers. You have not found out anything yet.

It is not what it looks like! I didn’t do it!

Right, I will move over to the lounge car to get me a bottle bit of brandy. Oh, hang on! What the…? Erm, you know, it’s not what it looks like! I did not do it. Found him lying about, honestly.

That is Colonel MacDouglas. He was not supposed to be the murder victim. He tried to find the killer, just like you. Or just like you were supposed to do anyway. You’re doing a piss-poor job so far.

That’ll teach you. Next time make sure I get the job of the killer and then nobody has to make stupid guesses about the weapon or the reason for the crime. I would not make it difficult to find out. But in this case I have to repeat myself: I did not do it. High blood pressure? He is a bit red in the face, you have to admit.

Just get on with it, Thrakbog. Time is of the essence.

Nope, I don’t think so.

What does it matter when the crime had been committed? I mean the exact minute cannnot be so important. Sooner or later we’ll know by the stench, won’t we?

Just accept that time is one of the five elements you’ll have to deduce.

I can hardly count to five – you’re asking a lot here. Anyway, I should leave this time bit to the other surviving detectives. I’ll threaten them with my sword and make them tell me.
What about dinner?

You know, sooner or later you’ll have to name your suspect with all the details of the crime. So you better start giving it some proper thinking.

Righty-ho. I shall think that she did it. Looks like a real criminal, doesn’t she? Shifty eyes and all that.
Look, I really couldn’t care less how she did it. Let’s throw all the other detectives out of the train and raid the cars. We’ll loot their luggage and enjoy ourselves. When was the last time we’ve been travelling together?