Weekly Round Up – The Christmas Is Coming Edition

Time for this week’s round-up of the best of the blog posts which I’ve read over the past week. These are the posts that have moved me, taught me something, inspired me, and which I’ve wanted to share with you. Don’t forget if you have written a post which you would like readers to see, just leave a comment below.

‘Tis the week before Christmas..actually it’s even closer to Christmas than I can believe, particularly as this year I am spending it in unseasonably hot weather, and I don’t have to do anything Christmassy. The pressure is off me, but not so for everyone. So let me share some tips for dealing with holiday stress that I have found on the internet this week. Amit Sood, M.D., a Mayo Clinic physician and stress management expert has some excellent tips to help you cope in this article; while Dr Brian Stork, Lifehackerand the Huffington Postadvise on a strategy of mindfulness to see us through the holiday season.

I am grateful for those of you who took the time to put together summaries of the San Antonio Breast Cancer Conference presentations. I tried to follow along on Twitter, but with something this important, you need more detail than a 140 character tweet can provide. Both Susan and Lisa De Ferrari attended as patient advocates and have written clear summaries which I found very useful; equally helpful is this series of articles by Dr. Susan Love and blog posts by Dr. Robert Miller and Dr. Julie Gralow on the #BCSM website; also Kathy La Tour comments on survivorship on the Cure Today website. The official press releases issued by SABCS can be found on their website.

Of course while this research is welcome, if you want to really understand the impact of cancer as it is lived each day turn to patient blogs. Beth has a post detailing the effect of Aromatase Inhibitors on her body, and while the research may recommend exercise for joint pain, Beth points out the difficulty in exercising when in pain. Scorchy writes starkly and honestly of the reality of living with stage IV breast cancer and takes issue with the term chronic disease. Chris shares the heart-rending reality of cancer treatment for one patient with non Hodgkins Lymphoma. The reality of living with the lymphedema side effect of cancer is dealt with on Helensamia’s blog. Rachel Pappas writes about her experience of cancer survivorship on the Living Beyond Breast Cancer website,andLaura writes this week about chemo-brain and forgetting her chemoversary – is it a sign of progress or memory loss?

There are many different ways to tell our cancer story and while we won’t always see it the same way ourselves, we should respect each other’s right to do so. One of the most persistent divisions among us is the cancer is a blessing vs cancer is a curse divide. And just as I wrote those words, I discovered a tweet from comedian Will Farrell “There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don’t”. Oh dear, guess I am one of the first kind.

Nancy is quite emphatic that she does not, nor will she ever see it as a gift, and it’s hard not to agree with her reasons why, particularly when she writes of her mother and friends being taken by this relentlessly cruel disease. Like Nancy I don’t see any gift in losing my mother to brain cancer either or the beautiful friends I have come to know online like Rachel only to see them stolen from us too soon by cancer. And it is hard not to disagree with the Pink Underbelly when she points out that repeated adversity “chips away at pieces of your soul. It slowly yet painfully tugs at the very essence of who you are.” I’ve felt like that too. But while I don’t see cancer as a gift and I do feel ground down at times when the same disappointment of another lost pregnancy stares me in the face, I do try not to let this be my defining story, for that makes me feel like a victim of life (it’s a role I find very easy to slip into). This is not a position everyone will agree with and I am not saying this is easy. It takes a huge effort of will and I frequently rail against the lesson. I certainly don’t see the opportunity when I am in the midst of a crisis and truth be told sometimes I never find it (particularly when it comes to my pregnancy losses – nope, still haven’t found the blessing there, and don’t anyone dare tell me I am lucky to be able to travel, free to do what I want without the burden of children!) I loved Elizabeth’s take on the issue. She also believes it can be an opportunity for growth but quotes a psych student’s reaction to stress as “Oh great! Another fucking growth experience!” I laughed out loud reading this. It pretty much sums up my feeling too. And I also loved reading Dr Ann Becker-Schutte’s post on the winter solstice and her reflection on the light and dark that makes up our lives.

Philippais already working on the three words she will focus on to guide the year ahead. This is an annual tradition in the blogosphere and Philippa is one of its most faithful proponents each January. I am looking forward to seeing her final choice.

I was overwhelmed by love and inspiration when I read Catherine’s latest blog. Catherine is a truly remarkable young woman. I know the words courage and grace are overused these days, but honestly I can’t think of words that describe her more – except perhaps beautiful and loving and loyal. She has been a shining light in the blogosphere this past year. Despite the crap that has landed on her, the crushing disappointments she has faced, she wrote and published her book, continued to blog and to leave encouraging comments on our blogs. She is a huge inspiration to me and just knowing there are people like her in the world makes it instantly a better place.

Finally this week Audrey shares a beautiful and timely reminder to enjoy the precious things in life – sentiments echoed by Fionain words I just had to share with you as the perfect way to end this week’s round-up:

If it’s not bought by now, it won’t be.

It’s not wrapped, I may get round to it.

None of that is the important stuff.

It’s all about the caring and sharing (could I get a job as a card cliché writer?), the being together, making time, having fun, making memories.

Thank you for including my blog in your weekly round up… Lymphedema is a little understood side effect of cancer treatments which impacts on the quality of peoples lives and daily activities.. Wishing you a very Happy Christmas and New Year 🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄

Marie, no worries and I’m glad you didn’t take my leaving the link as lèse majesté on my part. Because of your kindness in linking to my blog from time to time, some folks here found my blog and became regulars. I wanted to make sure that the “thank you” got around. Have a wonderful Christmas. Victoria

Marie, it’s always a thrill and an honor to be included in the Round-Up, and I’m so grateful that you take the time to bring us all together. I’m looking forward to all this great reading material! Lots of love to you. xo

Thanks for the round-up, Marie and for including my “gift post”. I also want to thank you today for the support you have shown me and so many others all year long. You’re a real gem. Wishing you a peaceful holiday. Much love. Nancy

Wow Marie. What a fantastic round up. I am honored that I am included. I am sorry about all of the lost pregnancies. Having been at the case studies at SABCS I was encouraged that one of the cases had to do with a women who needed treatment but her priority at this point is to become pregnant. Much of the panel agreed based on her specific case that she could wait for treatment and first concentrate on getting pregnant. I hope that oncologists all over the world start to recognize the importance of fertility for women who want to become pregnant and have breast cancer and care enough to do all they can to recognize the importance of this. Of course each case is unique. Meanwhile, I wish you a joyful holiday from the other side of the world! Thank you so much for your incredible support to so many of us! Hugs and xoxo – Susan

Thank you Susan for sharing your perspective on this emotive issue after the conference. It is good to hear that news. Lovely also to have you blogging again. wishing you and your gorgeous Mom a happy christmas xx

Thank you for this round up, getting to my reading now! I posted a heartwrenching but so freeing post on Saturday, Ongoing Thriving Acceptance. I’d be so honored if you checked out my blog at http://www.jlbf4.wordpress.com.

Justine, thank you for taking the time to leave a link to your heartfelt blog here. I have just read it and found it very moving and resonant. It is so hard at this time of year to face another Christmas without our longed for babies, and your decision to still take part in the child-like wonder of Christmas is inspiring.

Wish you a joy-filled Christmas of sunny days and trips to the beach 😉 Thank you for this holiday round up, and for your words. They mean very much to me.

What you said about this not being the defining story, I feel much the same. The stories we tell ourselves are important, as you have shared before, and for me it has made all the difference this past year.

This is such a thought-provoking Round Up Marie. You really probe some of the difficult aspects in your discussion, and highlight how contradictory this whole experience is, and how it differs for each of us. Beneath the surface is a web of complexity and we all have our own takes. It is so important to respect how others deal with this, while we might not agree or have the same approach ourselves. Very wise words.

Hi Marie. A happy, heathly peaceful Christmas to you. Thank you a great round up. I love reading what everyone writes and it never ceases to amaze my that no matter where we are in the world, cancer treats us the same, badly. We all have similar worries, concerns . . . All the blogs give me lots to think about and dare I say a good laugh sometimes. Thank you all

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". . .and the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, no matter how long, but only by a spiritual journey, a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling and JOYFUL, by which we arrive at the ground at our own feet, and learn to be at home."
Wendell Berry