Geez, I'd be SO tempted to comment on her Facebook status "exciting, I know! " as if it was mean as a happy status.

I think, well I hope, you just caught her at one of those overwhelmed times. Like maybe that day had been: boss gives her a hassle about something that is not her fault, FMIL announces she's taking over the DJ selection on and BTW its a guy who specializes in Polka, 4 RSVP cards came in the mail with added extra guests and the catering bill came in. And then she heard about the house stuff and flipped. Hey its possible, right?

So I say let things settle for a bit and let yourself also calm down a bit, and then address it. The reality is most people who get married have at least one of two if not both of them move right around the time of the wedding. Its actually pretty standard, she's not going to get too much sympathy. And most people have to pay a heck of a lot more then just utilities for their homes, so again, she's not going to get a lot of sympathy. And you are giving her 6 months notice - I've known people who've gotten 6 weeks notice their landlord was selling the house. Her eyes will open.

I would ignore it then. You gave them ample time AND it might not even happen in that time frame. If she keeps bemoaning about the house, then I or tell Hawk to tell them what was suggested in that PM.

Well, even if you are selling your old house, you did give them two months notice (maybe more since you can't expect your house to sell right away). Did she expect to live there rent free forever? If my tax return is big enough to cover a down payment, I'd be grateful. Being married is about being able to support yourselves (things happen, but you know what I mean). She should be thanking you for that sweet deal for how ever long she's lived there, not making public PA comments.

Yep. This. So this. I cannot believe she is being so ungrateful. The gravy train will be ending sometime within the next two to however many months it takes to find a house to buy and for your other house to sell.

As for what to do now. I vote nothing. I suspect that Mark will probably speak to her about her attitude, because it really stinks. I can kind of understand her initial reaction, but posting on Facebook is what moves it from a knee jerk reaction to a premeditated passive-aggressive attack. Not cool.

I May be a bit slow but if you sell your house couldn't they just make a downpayment and buy it from you since she seems to love living there so much?

That was my first thought as well. If I was looking to sell a property that was currently rented (even if the rent is just the cost of utilities), the first thing I'd do is ask the tennants if they would like to make an offer to buy it from me. That way, there are no Realtor commissions to pay.

I May be a bit slow but if you sell your house couldn't they just make a downpayment and buy it from you since she seems to love living there so much?

That was my first thought as well. If I was looking to sell a property that was currently rented (even if the rent is just the cost of utilities), the first thing I'd do is ask the tennants if they would like to make an offer to buy it from me. That way, there are no Realtor commissions to pay.

I May be a bit slow but if you sell your house couldn't they just make a downpayment and buy it from you since she seems to love living there so much?

That was my first thought as well. If I was looking to sell a property that was currently rented (even if the rent is just the cost of utilities), the first thing I'd do is ask the tennants if they would like to make an offer to buy it from me. That way, there are no Realtor commissions to pay.

And she wouldn't have to move.

Although given her recent behavior, I might be a little hesitant to enter into purchasing negotiations with her.

Anyway, at the current time, I would call Rein and say exactly what you feel. "Rein, I know you've got a lot going on with the wedding so maybe you didn't fully understand what we were communicating. We really are just giving you a heads up that we MIGHT sell the house AFTER your wedding. Nothing is certain and it will not happen soon." If she continues to be upset I'd be very blunt. "Honestly I think your reaction is completely out of line given the fact that you've been living rent free in our home this many months."

Exactly! Our 20 year tenants bought the house from us. Much happiness all around. We bought a $30 fsbo contract, everyone agreed to the terms, went straight to title company. No realtor commissions, no lawyers, no muss, no fuss. It was a done deal in less than a week. They didn't have to pack and move, we didn't have to do all the fancy updates an early 1970's house would need to be competitive in a soft market. Win all the way around.

As annoyed as she probably is at the thought of having to look for a new place and move, I imagine that whole "now I'm going to have to pay rent" thing is the real reason she's upset.

If we had mutual friends I would not appreciate being made to look bad. I would reply to her FB post "As Hawk said, we are only planning to look at a house, and not for two more months. Even if we did decide to put in an offer it would be several more months before we sold the house you're staying in. We wanted to give you as much notice as possible, which is why Hawk mentioned it. Worst case scenario you've got 6 months to prepare. We thought keeping you in the loop was the kind thing to do but if it stresses you out we can wait and only mention it when we're ready to list the house."

I might consider privately letting her know that I thought I was being a good friend by letting her live in my home for free and I don't appreciate being publicly called out like a jerk.