Do you like beards? I like beards. But I know plenty of women who don’t. Most adult men I know don’t have beards. Which is weird, when you think about it. Because beards are a biological signal. A signal that says, “I am a sexually mature male, ready for mating. I have excellent genes and will impregnate you with fine children. Mate with me ladies.” They are the human equivalent of peacocks’ tails.

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I know we shouldn’t get exercised about subheadings, which are generally not written by the author (and certainly not by the scientists). But, I give you: “Tightening one’s belt in a recession is usually considered prudent, but women may be advised to do the opposite after a study found that in tough times stressed men turn to larger ladies for comfort.” Oh no, we thought we were supposed to be thin, but now we might have made ourselves too thin for boys to like us! Let us cry hopelessly into our pillows ladies.