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About me

A pretty face gets old. A nice body will change. But a good woman will always b a good woman.

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About you

To all the women who say there are no good men left in the world: you obviously haven’t met the men I know, love, and adore.

Beyond that, you’re probably missing those that are standing right in front of you.

Let’s get one thing straight when we’re talking dating to find a lifelong relationship: nobody’s perfect. There is no dream man who will walk into your life, sweep you off your feet, and not have to put his baggage down first. We’re human. We come with baggage.

I think the key to any good relationship is not to judge your partner for not having their shit together—because, let’s face it, you probably don’t either.

I’d also urge you to pay attention to who you’re finding yourself attracted to. It’s not news that women tend to be attracted to bad boys, even when the words coming out of our mouths are, “It’s just so hard to find a good man.” Are they hard to find, or are you not looking for them?

Good men are out there.

They’re the ones calmly standing by during a fight, watching other men tussle like buffoons, trying to assert a dominance they don’t deserve, because dominance is earned, not won. They’re the guys who remember your favorite flavor of ice cream and what you’re allergic to. They’re the men who make sure their lady friends get home safe after one too many at the bar.

These good men are waiting in the wings. Waiting to be recognized. Waiting for the day the women they love and care for so dearly stop getting baited by the bad boys, and instead choose them for their heart and soul.

It’s not that there’s a lack of good men in the world; what we want and what we say we want are two totally different things.

So own it.

You don’t want a man who is sensitive, caring, and emotionally available, because he makes you feel too vulnerable, too seen. You’re not ready for that kind of raw, deep love.

Most people aren’t.

So many of us have been hurt in relationships, wounded by those who have claimed love for us. And we bring that fear forward into new relationships.

At least if we get involved with the stereotypical jerk-of-a-male, when our hearts get broken, we can say we saw it coming, that we knew it would come to this. Of course it would, because we chose to go after the bad boy, the dangerous one we knew would make off with our heart like a bandit.

But when we find those good men, well, we fall hard and deep. Slow, not fast. We build our lives with these men. We trust them around our kids. We bring them home to our mothers and fathers. We trust these men with our hearts, that they will treat them with pride and with care. And so when those relationships come to an end, we’re devastated. The last thing we expected was to lose someone so precious to us.

This is why we perceive there to be difficulty in finding a “good man”: because our hearts are walled up around love, because we are afraid to be loved and left, to love and to lose.

It’s not that there’s a lack of good men in the world for the taking (or the asking); it’s that we aren’t ready to embrace all the vulnerability that comes with putting ourselves out there, with being SEEN by someone who really does love and care for you—not in a surface way, but in an I-see-your-flaws-and-I-love-you-for-them kind of way.

If you’re single, dating, and looking for that “good man” you can settle down with, stop searching so hard.

Instead, soften your heart and break down your walls. Love yourself enough to let yourself be loved by the right man—not just any man, the nearest man, or the sexiest man. Good men are all around you. They’re just waiting for you to let them in, to recognize them for who they are: someone who will love you to the ends of the earth, take care of you, and sweep you off your feet, baggage and all.