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I just came up with an award system for things that grab my attention; be it in my everyday life or in the media. The Faded Jewel Award (FJA) will go to things I deem foolish, inappropriate, or down right dumb and the Sparkling Jewel Award (SJA) will go to anything good, wholesome, and positive. That being established, let’s move on to todays FJA…

I first heard about Whitney Houston being buring in half a mil worth of jewels; all I could do was laugh and shake my head at the absurdity of it. Then I thought, what if some dummy decides to go grave robbing and then I read this article Who’s Protecting Whitney Houston and her Jewels?! and it was like my thoughts materialised.

I swear you can’t even make up dumb ish like this because people can and will always do things that’ll leaving you looking like the RCA dog. (insert head tilt) 😕

If I’ve got $500,000 in jewels, they’re going to my daughter, family members, friends, but certainly not in the gosh darn ground even if my coffin is cement encased. In this day and age, desperate times will inspire desperate measures and nothing or no one is sacred anymore.

Well, there you have it readers, the first FJA goes to the Houston family; no disrespect intended, but you know I’m onto something with this one.

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Like many, I watched the Academy Awards. Actually, I can’t say I really “watched” it; I moreso glazed over it from time to time. I don’t really care who won what because I can’t see how it really plays any significant role in my life. Yes, I was pleased that Octavia Spencer received the award for Best Supporting Actress and that Sean Combs received his award for Best Executive Producer for no other reason than they were black. It’s a given white people are going to win, so I guess that’s why my interest is minimal. That aside, my greatest lack of interest is in who wore what. Yes, there were some beautiful dresses worn, but the average woman 1) can’t afford the likes of them, 2) doesn’t have the body to pull off some of them and 3), would have no where to wear one of them. But above and beyond that, I have a hard time taking any kind of ‘Fashion Police’ citations from some of the woman on patrol. Kelly Osbourne with her hair that looked like it was grey and dyed pinkish/purple and the woman, whom for the life of me can’t recall her name (insert, obviously I didn’t care), who looked awful in her dress; who’s hair was a mess, and she could stand to lose a 10-15lbs before she sat their critiquing. That’s tantamount to me listening to Oprah give me advise on my weight. 😕

I get that the Academy Awards is a big deal and is watched globally, but again, who cares? It’s just another event that the hype will outweigh the lasting conversation post event. Save for Cirque de Soliel, which was and always is amazing, I paid little or no attention to much else. Get all primped up is always nice, but when it ends up being fodder for the Fashion Police and the tabloids, it tends to somewhat overshadow the actual event.

I hope that Octavia Spencer can and will secure additional roles and carry on with her acting career. Shout out to Sean Combs and I hope he’ll do more things like Undefeated instead of the crap he pawns off as music. Shout out to the remaining eight; I think there’s a grand total of 10 blacks who’ve received Academy Awards in its 84 year history. It’s my hope other black actors can and will secure roles worthy of their talents being award worthy and maybe then I’ll have more interest in watching in the future.

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For years the media has vilified Bobby Brown as if he was the Anti-Christ incarnate when it came to Whitney Houston. He has been accused of being responsible for her introduction to alcohol and drugs, which ultimately led to the demise of her singing and acting careers respectively. Speaking from a very personal place, I have a very hard time believing and accepting that one can be forced into using. Why? Because I’ve had a relationship with a drug user; PCP and cocaine and alcoholics in addition to growing up in a home where both cigarettes and marijuana was smoked, and have friends who also indulged in their drug/alcohol of choice. I made a choice not to try drugs even when invited to partake under the auspice of, “it’s just a try, you won’t get addicted” or “it’s fun; go for it”. Seeing people zoned out, acting silly, or even recklessly was of no attraction to me. Maybe my constitution is stronger than the average or maybe the control issues I’ve developed over the years prevent me from wanting to take part in anything that could ultimately take control over me is why I’ve never indulged. Or maybe, I simply don’t have any desire to put myself at the risks that both drug and alcohol use can cause. Whichever the reason, it falls back to being MY choice.

In the case of Whitney and Bobby, I think Whitney was likely to have already been exposed to either drugs or alcohol; if not both before Bobby came along. Whitney was the presented to the public as the Wholesome or Good Girl with her cute and playful image, which we all ate up like a tub of movie theatre popcorn. We didn’t question whether was we were being fed was actually a true depiction of something good for us; we simply went with the hype and moved on. Yes, Whitney was full of talent and gave us a much appreciated catalogue of hits we sang with all our might’s as we danced around our bedrooms or at a club. The talented amongst us used Whitney’s songs as talent show material as we vied for titles and notoriety. Whatever our attraction to Whitney was, we never really questioned the woman behind the image. We accepted that she was a local girl who’d scored big and made an otherwise unlikeable city; Newark, NJ a likeable place. No one questioned if she was really as nice as the media painted her to be and no one really said anything disparaging about her as we’d drank the coloured drink and liked the flavour very much. For those who may have known her personally since she was a local girl to some, they may have known or seen the uncut Whitney, but still so few; if any said anything to the contrary of her public image. Well, until Bobby Brown came along…

Bobby Brown was talented in his own right; having made his effervescent personality known as a part of New Edition and then subsequently on his own as a singer, dancer and sometimes actor. He was charismatic, attractive; well, back then, and presented the Bad Boy image for which he later became quite famous for. When he and Whitney got together and ultimately dated is where the proverbial fork in the road took form. Whitney’s attitude and behaviour began to be the opposite of what was previously sold to us. She became the good girl gone bad and it was all Bobby’s fault. He introduced her to the dark side were tumbled downhill like mudslide. They soon became major tabloid fodder and we watched them rise and fall like a wayward roller coaster ride; hating and loving it at the same time. No one wanted to believe that their Nippy as she was known to close friends and family could have voluntarily wanted to get involved with drugs and alcohol. Why would she? She had so much talent and ability, so why would she risk that? Was what the masses were most likely thinking. Well, here’s my two cents in the bucket…She did in fact want to. She made a conscious choice to take and continue to take drugs and drink in spite its dangers. She was Whitney Houston; Queen Diva, dammit and who was going to tell her otherwise? As I said, I’ve been involved with guys who had their vices and I chose not to partake in spite of their encouragement. If that’s what they were into, that was their business, but I wasn’t getting dragged into that rabbit hole for anything. Granted the celebrity life and lifestyle is wrought with drugs and alcohol, but there are those who do not partake. I think Whitney’s pairing with Bobby made it easier and more exiting to partake and participate. I think Whitney made that choice over and over again to continue her addition regardless of the negative effects. At some point, Bobby made a choice to seek and get help in order to overcome his addictions. So, if he could do it, why couldn’t she? Why did she continue this practice even after they divorced? Yes, addiction is different for everyone and it affects each person differently, but she had so much as stake; much more than Bobby did, yet she chose not to get help.

Bobby is not an innocent in entirety, so let’s get that said, but I stand by my thoughts that he did not introduce Whitney to drugs and alcohol; they’re easily accessible; even more so when you’re a celebrity and unless he held her down and forced her, Whitney was the one putting drugs into her system. Together they enjoyed the crazy drug and alcohol ride they were on. They thrived on the crazy that became their marriage and maybe even after, but Bobby is not to blame entirely. He, too, is a victim of his own choices for the life and lifestyle he lived. I think the media’s portrayal of him as a pariah is heinous and hypocritical as they’re the same ones who took pleasure and financial gain in their unrelenting stories of Whitney as they now post her accolades. I’m sorry; you can’t have it both ways. It’s a backhanded compliment at its best to condemn and praise in the same breath. Again, it’s agreed that Whitney was talented and yes, she was plagued with her share of demons, but as I’ve now said ad nauseum; she made those choice. Was Bobby a part of it? Yes. Was he guilty of her actions? Questionable, but he’s not guilty of the things he’s being accused of. It’s easy to blame the one who already has the tainted image, because denial won’t allow them to see otherwise, but lest they forget Whitney did go on national TV and radio and admit to having a drug problem. I can’t say I recall details of her interviews and in truth, I can’t really say I care; not because I’m callous, but because I see everyday people struggle with drug addiction and have no real means to remedy by way of rehab, but we have a society full of celebrities who have the access; yet do not go to rehab.

Bobby’s attendance at Whitney’s funeral was warranted as he and Whitney had a child together and the decision for his being there should have been left to her. We all know Bobby would not have been invited had Bobbie Kristina not been of legal age, but was reluctantly allowed to attend and was then treated like a pariah during the service. A lot can and has been said about Bobby Brown and while I don’t know him personally, I doubt highly that he would have shown out as they implied he might. Why? Because he already knew the media and family were expecting that from him so why feed into the already negative image they have of him. Furthermore, I doubt he would want to embarrass his daughter and cause her any more upset than she was already dealing with.

Bobby Brown reminds me a lot of my younger brother and maybe that’s why a part of me feels it’s necessary to defend him. My brother, like Bobby is attractive, smart, and talented, but chose to get into things that weren’t in his best interest, which led to his talents being squandered and his well-being compromised. Like Bobby, my brother was ostracized and treated poorly by those around him; family and otherwise, but somehow he managed to make it through and try to hold on to whatever ounce of dignity he had left in order to make the rest of his life mean something. He won’t make excuses for his poor choices and while he wishes he could have made better life choices; understands that those were his life choices and instead of focusing on them; choses to not give others the pleasure of continuing to demean him. People are fickle, which is an egregious understatement, but we’ll ride on fickle and move on. They love you while you’re up and kick you while you’re down and not think much about it. They would rather point out your faults and flaws instead of remembering any ounce of good you’ve done. They’ll cry Christian values, but do things that are not in conformance with Christian doctrine.

NO ONE is without fault or flaw and we can and will fall short, but let’s stop pointing fingers and placing blame and own what and whom we are. Whitney Houston was a talented and vibrant woman and she was also a woman with demons and issues to battle; accept it and move on. Bobby Brown was talented and he, too, was also a victim of his demons and issues, but at least he chose to try and mitigate his issues; give him that. Let’s understand and accept that he’s hurting too. He loved Whitney and they shared 14 years and a daughter together. Whether we approve of their marriage or circumstances is not for us to call. Allow Bobby some well-deserved peace. People need to stop disparaging him and allow him to grieve and live his life. No one considers how they would feel if they were in the position he’s in, so maybe that’s needs to be considered. My brother did things that kept us estranged for over a decade and I can’t get that time back and it pains me deeply, but it was necessary in spite of said pain. It was with great trepidation on my part that when we reacquainted, but now that it’s done, I’m happier for it. I don’t through is past in his face as he knows what he’s done and there’s nothing that can undo it. Forgiveness was given and accepted and we live and love for what we have for as long as we have it left to us. If I can do that and he’s my brother; maybe we should consider doing that for someone who’s 1) not our family and 2) not someone who we’re even affected by. The time we invest in the lives of celebrities could be better served in the lives of ourselves and loved ones as those are the ones we’re truly indebted to and affected by.

For this Lent, how about we give up being voyeurs into the lives of others and instead be participators and investors in ours and our own – Just a thought!
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I remember love, but not the traditional love. I remember love; real love; the love from the Most High. That is the love that created me, comforted me, surrounded me, and sustained me when the love from man tried to ruin or hurt me. This is the love I remember. This is the love I treasure. And this is the love that will last forever.

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I’m sure I’m sure in the minority with women when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I do NOT think it’s a holiday; nor do I think it’s a day that requires anymore attention than another other day of the year. I frown upon the single women who pout and whine about not having someone special in their lives on or for Valentine’s Day. Why? Because you DON’T need to have a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s Day if it means that much to you. You can treat yourself to something special or nice and celebrate that love you have for self instead of wanting or expecting someone to do it for you. If you’re close to your family, spend quality time with them and celebrate the familial love you share. You can rally your like single girlfriends and celebrate each other. Or, you can simply suck it up and keep it moving sweetie.

Yea, I sound mean and what of it? Contrary to what some may think, I DO have a man and by choice, we do not celebrate Valentine’s Day. I do not want flowers, a special dinner, or some other “token of his love or affection”. If he loves me, then he should love me and show me on a “Just Beacause” day and or everyday of of the year. Love is not something that should be more special on one day or another; it’s something that needs celebrating ALL YEAR ROUND.

Another thing that pisses me off about Valentine’s Day are these damn expectations and ultimatums that women give men. “If he doesn’t get me anything, I’m gonna…” (fill in the blanks as I’m sure you’ve heard plenty or issued some yourself). I want to know how many women are putting the expected time and energy into their man that they want him to put into them? I’m sure the numbers fare far in the deficit for him.

I was speaking with a co-worker and also my man about “Steak and Blowjob Day”, which would be the male equivalent of Valentine’s Day. Never heard of it? Well, I hadn’t either, but until recently, but I found myself extremely tickled by it. So, the thought is men should have a day where they get steak and a blowjob from their wife or girlfriend. Providing she’s not already cooking steaks or taking her man out for one and giving him BJs, I bet there’d be a significant decline in the demands made by women for Valentine’s Day. I’m so in support of this day, that I think it should be petitioned and established. Or course I know it wouldn’t work, but the sheer thought of it makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.

February 14th, is another day on the calendar, but to those of you who get all mushy over it; enjoy. And Love is an ACTION verb, so make sure you’re doing something to actually earn it. I’m just saying.

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Why do people text you during working hours and then seem a little peeved when your reply is delayed?

Why do people feel the need to call your landline; if you have one and then you’re cell; leave messages on both and then when you call back, they say, “I was just calling to say hi and/or check touch base”.

Why do people feel the need to talk really loud on their cell phones and then look at YOU all crazy when you look at them while shaking your head?

Why do people threaten to quit or say, “Then fire me”, when in an argument with their manager knowing they don’t have another gig to fall back on?

If one prefaces a comment with “no offense but…” does it make their inquiry/comment any less offensive?

Why do people get upset when a person comments to Facebook or Blog post when they were the ones who opened the door for rebuttal anyway?

Why do some people feel one should justify why they have a tattoo or piercing?

Why is it some find it easier to believe a stereotype instead of find out the facts for themselves?

Why can’t people understand that not all things are for public consumption?