Central Florida scored on the first and last plays of the game, a 95-yard kickoff return and a 100-yard interception return, and that pretty much summed up the X-and-O portion of the program at the Superdome.

Everything in between was enough of a blur that, honestly, it might be best to not bother trying to remember. With no mercy rule in play, the kicking continued ad nauseam, the game's expiration serving as its most humane element for the Green Wave on Senior Day.

"They knocked us around pretty good," Coach Bob Toledo said.

Knocked 'em around, knocked 'em down, knocked 'em out, picked 'em up and did it all over again.

"I never expected this kind of performance," Toledo said.

I'm not sure what he expected, but what he got was an offering for which a bucket of silver paint would've been useless. There was no lining to paint after Central Florida took it, Tulane's will and just about anything else inside the Superdome that it wanted, short of the field turf.

The Knights' 47-point victory was hard on the eyes, ears and digestive system. Ten seconds in, Tulane trailed 7-0. Ten seconds in, the theme had been established. There wasn't going to be an upset, or a near upset, or a time Saturday when it seemed Tulane was a play away from making Central Florida sweat.

No description could be too raw, and the fact that it could have been worse -- that the Knights seemed to misplace a chunk of "want" after taking a 38-0 lead with 11:49 left in the first half -- only drilled home the point that the Wave seemed miscast being on the same field at the same time as Central Florida on Saturday.

"We tried to compete, but we played against a very good football team," Toledo said.

"They are the best team in Conference USA."

The Knights (8-3, 6-1 in C-USA) looked the part, forcing four turnovers (two interceptions and two fumbles) and gashing Tulane with 459 yards of offense and 349 yards on returns (71 on punts, 178 on kickoffs and 100 on interceptions).

Tulane (4-7, 2-5) more closely resembled a team that couldn't always get out of its own way, and too often couldn't get in Central Florida's way. And sometimes when it did, it didn't make the tackle, so being in position was of no benefit.

Central Florida led 7-0 before the first hot dog could be eaten, 14-0 before it could be washed down, 17-0 before reality sunk in that the game was in progress, 24-0 before anyone was alert enough to be angry and 31-0 before there was time to declare the proceedings a "damn shame."

And that was just the first quarter.

The Knights added their fifth, and final, touchdown of the first half just 3:11 into the second quarter.

Asked whether it was a complete game, Central Florida coach George O'Leary said, "Well, you know, it was."

Yeah. We know.

It was complete and overwhelming, in an avalanche kind of way. It was the crack over the head that didn't stop until the knocker was called off.

"We got into a hole and it felt like quicksand," quarterback Kevin Moore said. "The harder we fought the worse it got. It is always a privilege to play college football, but (Saturday) was a tough one."

Tough for everybody -- the players who participated, the coaches who coached, and almost anyone hoping to describe exactly what happened.

Not that we don't care. Just that sometimes, silence is the best answer, because it's the only answer.

John DeShazier can be reached at jdeshazier@timespicayune.com or 504.826.3410.