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She sat upon her lover's lap
And smoothed his furrowed
brow.
"Darling," she said, "my life's
been fast,
But I'm on my last lap now."
April 1, 1953
AUGUSTANA
MIRROR
Augustana College, SIOUX FALLS, S. D VOL. XXXIV — NO. 24
Cold War Breaks
At much personal danger, the MIRROR photographer snapped
these pictures of the battle on the steps of Old Main and of one of
the casulties of the Civil War.
into Hot Conflict
ASPS, Storm Troops, Bass Section
Scrimmage; Wells Resigns Job
Library Battles
Against Strong
Mice Invasion
While civil war rages on the
rest of the campus, another sort
of war is in progress in the col-lege
library.
The invasion of mice has the col-lege
administration alarmed. The
thousands of rodents poured onto
the campus sometime recently
when the border guard was slack-ened.
Chief of the border patrol, Maj-or
General 'Martin Vangsness, was
questioned in his headquarters lo-cated
on the ground floor of the
gymnasium. He stated that the ro-dents
have centered their attacks
on Old Main, and seem to be gain-ing
the upper hand over the inad-equately
armed library staff. He
reported that two plans for the
eradication of the mice have been
underway for some time. The first
was the use of heat in the radia-tors
to drive them out. This plan
has met with only moderate suc-cess,
but was extremely success-ful
in driving out everyone else.
The other plan, just completed,
was the building of a "Siegfried
line" of mouse traps around the
main reading room.
Field General, Kordillia Johnson,
was interviewed just to the rear
of the front line, and stated that
although the tide of the battle
seems to be running against them
at present, hope is still seen for
triumph. Miss Johnson stated that
plans now call for the throwing
up of a barricade at the check-out
desk with hope for the throwing
back the invaders until escape to
a new library is possible.
Unless the new library is com-pleted
soon, little hope of survival
can be held out for General John-son
and her crew.
Spande Assumes
Coaching Job
Monday noon, Coach "Lefty" Ol-sen
announced the appointment of
Miss Myrtle Spande as Coach of
the wrestling team, a new pro-gram
for Augie athletes.
This will mean another step up
the ladder of tame made by Mies
Spande. Her efforts throughout
the year have resulted in appoint-ments
of high ranking honor.
Miss Spande came to Augustana
college as a bat boy last spring
and has become widely known for
her ambitious efforts. The first
appointment she received was as
cleaner of the basketball nets
when they became ridden with
cob webs.
Admirable work by Mies Spande
resulted in her appointment to
coach the pin ball team, a spot
left vacant by her new advance-ment.
It is rumored that Miss Joan
Chilson will take over that high-ly
desireable spot.
The team has already begun
workouts, with Miss Jeanine Gur-ney
and Miss Helen Kverness
showing star ranking promise.
Choir Schedules
Concert Tour of
World This Year
Sixty fortunate singers will be
missed on Augie's campus during
the next month.
Members of Augustana's a cap-pella
choir will gain world fame by
their appearances in many of the
most famous places of Europe and
Asia. The group will travel by
plane across the great Atlantic,
leaving from Sioux Falls, April
10. Most of the traveling in Europe
will be done by special train.
The first stop on the European
trip will 'be at Buckingham palace
in London, England. Queen Eliza-abeth
will entertain them at a tea
in their honor.
Since so many of the members of
the organization are of Norwegian
background their next step will
be in Norway at the Oslo univer-sity.
The choir will also give a
special concert at the Vatican in
Rome, Italy.
Other stops will be made at
Paris, France; Berlin, Germany;
Geneva, 'Switzerland; and Madrid,
Spain. Three days will be spent on
the Riviera to give the choir mem-bers
a chance to rest. One of the
highlights of the tour will be a
concert at the Kremlin in Mos-cow.
SPECIAL TO THE MIRROR
The Augustana "A" Club an-nounces
that they will be selling
records for the Augustana College
choir as soon as they come off the
presses. This task was taken over
by the "A" 'Club in order that the
music department can give more
music scholarships next year. Con-tact
Phil Bruns or Muff Gerlach
to place your order.
Board Announces
Change in Augie
The Board of Directors of Au-gustana
college announced yester-day
after a special meeting that
they had unanimously voted in
favor of the proposal made by
Reverend Knudson of Canton that
Augustana cease to be a coeduca-tional
institution.
"We feel that the experiment has
definitely not succeeded," said
Lute. E. Fisk, the President of
the Board. "It was our purpose
to try Augustana as a coeduca-tional
institution, but we feel that
continued practices of having both
sexes meet in the same room at
the same time for classes is detri-mental
to Augustana's high moral
aims."
Beginning with the fall semester
Augustana will no longer be co-educational,
but it will revert to
its original educational status.
When the MIRROR interviewed
Dr. Stavig, he said, "I am heartily
in favor of the position taken by
the Board of 'Education. I feel that
this move is not only in keeping
with the high moral standards of
Augustana, but that it is also a
very practical move from an econ-omic
standpoint. If we eliminate
one of the sexes then we also elim-inate
a tremendous amount of un-necessary
duplication as far as the
plumbing of our institution is con-cerned."
The Augustana Secret Police
had originally been organized to
attempt, as the late Tom Kilian
stated, "to stop the nocturnal
visits by Augustana students to
downtown places of ill-repute.
The ASPS' black armband and
bloody fist holding a knife and a
revolver have become a familiar
sight on the campus. Just before
the outbreak of hostilities between
the athletic and music department
factions, the ASPS had succeeded
to some extent in preventing fur-ther
sallies by Augies to down-town
amusement places. A car-load
of youths in a baby blue
Mercury was halted as it attempt-ed
to run an ASP blockade early
yesterday morning. Although one
of the youths was quoted as say-ing,
"Stangland's going to hear
about this," the effort came to
naught.
At present a squad of ASPS
is standing guard around the
grave of Tom Kilian, near the
Cottage. The leader of the police,
Denny Ravenberg, stated today,
"They ain't gonna dig up Tom this
time."
Council Chooses
New President
Ray Billie became president of
Student Body last night when he
received a vote of confidence from
the special session called upon the
receipt of John Knudson's regis-nation.
Knudson turned in his re-signation
Sunday noon.
Certain factors precipitated the
abdication and at various times
student riots had been preformed
in protest to Knudson's monarchy
form of government. A spirit of
nationalism, a factor overlooked
by Knudson in his quest for power,
had risen among the students and
when Knudson attempted to quell
the factions, a spirit of rebellion
rose.
A note attached to the resigna-tion
paper said, "It happened to my
predecessors, Louis XVI and Char-les
X, but I didn't think it were
gonna happen to me"
Reports received state that
Knudson has gone into,exile on an
island off the coast of Chile.
"It happens to the best of them,"
sobbed Rich Risner, "I can't be-lieve
he'd do a thing like that."
"It floors me," said Loren Lamp.
"I trusted him to the end."
The two gridiron men were dis-cussing
the mysterious resigna-tion
of Coach Lynn Wells. Wells,
pilot of the Viking team the past
two seasons, suddenly and for un-known
reasons resigned. It is be-lieved
that A choir has attempted
to hire him as choir director since
the removal of Dr. Youngdahl.
Youngdahl was asked to lc_
he was caught snooping around
Glad Heaven.
When questioned as to whether
he was bribed by the A choir,
Wells gave a short "no comment."
Later, however, he admitted it had
(Continued on page four)
Dr. Stavig Bans
Humor Magazine
In an unprecedented early morn-ing
bulletin President Stavig an-nounced
yesterday that, "Hence-forth
no copies of the so-called
Aug-ustana College Humor Maga-zine
SKOAL! will be allowed sold
on campus."
President Stavig took the action
shortly after an irate Dean Mar-tinson
phoned him, saying she "had
never read such a collection of
banality and falsehood since she
left home."
Stavig today ordered Editors
Milt Kudlacek and Art Huseboe
taken into protective custody by
the Augustana Secret Police. Kud-lacek
and Huseboe have offered
no statement to the press regard-ing
the incident.
The magazine has been a contro-versial
question since the publi-cation
was announced late in Feb-ruary.
Deputy Public Relations Direc-tor
Alma Roisum stated today aft-etr
she read the ban the she
"would urge Doctor ,Stavig to con-fiscate
all the copies as well."
On hearing the news of the ban-ning
and possible confiscation,
Mike O'Connor, head of the print-ing
company which is handling
SKOAL!, was reported as saying,
"First one from the college who
lays a hand on a copy of SKOAL!
is going to get his arm busted. I
ain't no bloody hero! All I want is
my money."
The Board of Regents have been
called into a special session to dis-cuss
the question.
The Augustana Secret Police, organized by Public Relations
Director Tom Kilian just before his death yesterday at the hands
of the athletic department Storm Troopers, tasted its first blood
today in the vicious fighting which raged before the entrance to
Old Main.
The ASPS, as the Secret Police have come to be known, repulsed
strong sorties by both Olson Storm Troopers and the entire bass
section of the A choir. Led by Deputy Public Relations Director Alma
Roisum, the ASPS rallied before the door to Old Main in what the
latest dispatches describe as, "a desperate attempt to halt A choir
attempts to take control of the Old Main and the tunnel leading to
the gym."
At the latest report the ASPS are still in control of Old Main,
although the bass section of the
A choir was able, through the
efforts of a flying squad from
the Radio choir, to force an en-trance
into the tunnel through the
Art department. Bloody fighting
is now raging deep beneath the
campus between the choir resist-ance
force and Olson's Storm
Troopers.

She sat upon her lover's lap
And smoothed his furrowed
brow.
"Darling," she said, "my life's
been fast,
But I'm on my last lap now."
April 1, 1953
AUGUSTANA
MIRROR
Augustana College, SIOUX FALLS, S. D VOL. XXXIV — NO. 24
Cold War Breaks
At much personal danger, the MIRROR photographer snapped
these pictures of the battle on the steps of Old Main and of one of
the casulties of the Civil War.
into Hot Conflict
ASPS, Storm Troops, Bass Section
Scrimmage; Wells Resigns Job
Library Battles
Against Strong
Mice Invasion
While civil war rages on the
rest of the campus, another sort
of war is in progress in the col-lege
library.
The invasion of mice has the col-lege
administration alarmed. The
thousands of rodents poured onto
the campus sometime recently
when the border guard was slack-ened.
Chief of the border patrol, Maj-or
General 'Martin Vangsness, was
questioned in his headquarters lo-cated
on the ground floor of the
gymnasium. He stated that the ro-dents
have centered their attacks
on Old Main, and seem to be gain-ing
the upper hand over the inad-equately
armed library staff. He
reported that two plans for the
eradication of the mice have been
underway for some time. The first
was the use of heat in the radia-tors
to drive them out. This plan
has met with only moderate suc-cess,
but was extremely success-ful
in driving out everyone else.
The other plan, just completed,
was the building of a "Siegfried
line" of mouse traps around the
main reading room.
Field General, Kordillia Johnson,
was interviewed just to the rear
of the front line, and stated that
although the tide of the battle
seems to be running against them
at present, hope is still seen for
triumph. Miss Johnson stated that
plans now call for the throwing
up of a barricade at the check-out
desk with hope for the throwing
back the invaders until escape to
a new library is possible.
Unless the new library is com-pleted
soon, little hope of survival
can be held out for General John-son
and her crew.
Spande Assumes
Coaching Job
Monday noon, Coach "Lefty" Ol-sen
announced the appointment of
Miss Myrtle Spande as Coach of
the wrestling team, a new pro-gram
for Augie athletes.
This will mean another step up
the ladder of tame made by Mies
Spande. Her efforts throughout
the year have resulted in appoint-ments
of high ranking honor.
Miss Spande came to Augustana
college as a bat boy last spring
and has become widely known for
her ambitious efforts. The first
appointment she received was as
cleaner of the basketball nets
when they became ridden with
cob webs.
Admirable work by Mies Spande
resulted in her appointment to
coach the pin ball team, a spot
left vacant by her new advance-ment.
It is rumored that Miss Joan
Chilson will take over that high-ly
desireable spot.
The team has already begun
workouts, with Miss Jeanine Gur-ney
and Miss Helen Kverness
showing star ranking promise.
Choir Schedules
Concert Tour of
World This Year
Sixty fortunate singers will be
missed on Augie's campus during
the next month.
Members of Augustana's a cap-pella
choir will gain world fame by
their appearances in many of the
most famous places of Europe and
Asia. The group will travel by
plane across the great Atlantic,
leaving from Sioux Falls, April
10. Most of the traveling in Europe
will be done by special train.
The first stop on the European
trip will 'be at Buckingham palace
in London, England. Queen Eliza-abeth
will entertain them at a tea
in their honor.
Since so many of the members of
the organization are of Norwegian
background their next step will
be in Norway at the Oslo univer-sity.
The choir will also give a
special concert at the Vatican in
Rome, Italy.
Other stops will be made at
Paris, France; Berlin, Germany;
Geneva, 'Switzerland; and Madrid,
Spain. Three days will be spent on
the Riviera to give the choir mem-bers
a chance to rest. One of the
highlights of the tour will be a
concert at the Kremlin in Mos-cow.
SPECIAL TO THE MIRROR
The Augustana "A" Club an-nounces
that they will be selling
records for the Augustana College
choir as soon as they come off the
presses. This task was taken over
by the "A" 'Club in order that the
music department can give more
music scholarships next year. Con-tact
Phil Bruns or Muff Gerlach
to place your order.
Board Announces
Change in Augie
The Board of Directors of Au-gustana
college announced yester-day
after a special meeting that
they had unanimously voted in
favor of the proposal made by
Reverend Knudson of Canton that
Augustana cease to be a coeduca-tional
institution.
"We feel that the experiment has
definitely not succeeded," said
Lute. E. Fisk, the President of
the Board. "It was our purpose
to try Augustana as a coeduca-tional
institution, but we feel that
continued practices of having both
sexes meet in the same room at
the same time for classes is detri-mental
to Augustana's high moral
aims."
Beginning with the fall semester
Augustana will no longer be co-educational,
but it will revert to
its original educational status.
When the MIRROR interviewed
Dr. Stavig, he said, "I am heartily
in favor of the position taken by
the Board of 'Education. I feel that
this move is not only in keeping
with the high moral standards of
Augustana, but that it is also a
very practical move from an econ-omic
standpoint. If we eliminate
one of the sexes then we also elim-inate
a tremendous amount of un-necessary
duplication as far as the
plumbing of our institution is con-cerned."
The Augustana Secret Police
had originally been organized to
attempt, as the late Tom Kilian
stated, "to stop the nocturnal
visits by Augustana students to
downtown places of ill-repute.
The ASPS' black armband and
bloody fist holding a knife and a
revolver have become a familiar
sight on the campus. Just before
the outbreak of hostilities between
the athletic and music department
factions, the ASPS had succeeded
to some extent in preventing fur-ther
sallies by Augies to down-town
amusement places. A car-load
of youths in a baby blue
Mercury was halted as it attempt-ed
to run an ASP blockade early
yesterday morning. Although one
of the youths was quoted as say-ing,
"Stangland's going to hear
about this," the effort came to
naught.
At present a squad of ASPS
is standing guard around the
grave of Tom Kilian, near the
Cottage. The leader of the police,
Denny Ravenberg, stated today,
"They ain't gonna dig up Tom this
time."
Council Chooses
New President
Ray Billie became president of
Student Body last night when he
received a vote of confidence from
the special session called upon the
receipt of John Knudson's regis-nation.
Knudson turned in his re-signation
Sunday noon.
Certain factors precipitated the
abdication and at various times
student riots had been preformed
in protest to Knudson's monarchy
form of government. A spirit of
nationalism, a factor overlooked
by Knudson in his quest for power,
had risen among the students and
when Knudson attempted to quell
the factions, a spirit of rebellion
rose.
A note attached to the resigna-tion
paper said, "It happened to my
predecessors, Louis XVI and Char-les
X, but I didn't think it were
gonna happen to me"
Reports received state that
Knudson has gone into,exile on an
island off the coast of Chile.
"It happens to the best of them,"
sobbed Rich Risner, "I can't be-lieve
he'd do a thing like that."
"It floors me," said Loren Lamp.
"I trusted him to the end."
The two gridiron men were dis-cussing
the mysterious resigna-tion
of Coach Lynn Wells. Wells,
pilot of the Viking team the past
two seasons, suddenly and for un-known
reasons resigned. It is be-lieved
that A choir has attempted
to hire him as choir director since
the removal of Dr. Youngdahl.
Youngdahl was asked to lc_
he was caught snooping around
Glad Heaven.
When questioned as to whether
he was bribed by the A choir,
Wells gave a short "no comment."
Later, however, he admitted it had
(Continued on page four)
Dr. Stavig Bans
Humor Magazine
In an unprecedented early morn-ing
bulletin President Stavig an-nounced
yesterday that, "Hence-forth
no copies of the so-called
Aug-ustana College Humor Maga-zine
SKOAL! will be allowed sold
on campus."
President Stavig took the action
shortly after an irate Dean Mar-tinson
phoned him, saying she "had
never read such a collection of
banality and falsehood since she
left home."
Stavig today ordered Editors
Milt Kudlacek and Art Huseboe
taken into protective custody by
the Augustana Secret Police. Kud-lacek
and Huseboe have offered
no statement to the press regard-ing
the incident.
The magazine has been a contro-versial
question since the publi-cation
was announced late in Feb-ruary.
Deputy Public Relations Direc-tor
Alma Roisum stated today aft-etr
she read the ban the she
"would urge Doctor ,Stavig to con-fiscate
all the copies as well."
On hearing the news of the ban-ning
and possible confiscation,
Mike O'Connor, head of the print-ing
company which is handling
SKOAL!, was reported as saying,
"First one from the college who
lays a hand on a copy of SKOAL!
is going to get his arm busted. I
ain't no bloody hero! All I want is
my money."
The Board of Regents have been
called into a special session to dis-cuss
the question.
The Augustana Secret Police, organized by Public Relations
Director Tom Kilian just before his death yesterday at the hands
of the athletic department Storm Troopers, tasted its first blood
today in the vicious fighting which raged before the entrance to
Old Main.
The ASPS, as the Secret Police have come to be known, repulsed
strong sorties by both Olson Storm Troopers and the entire bass
section of the A choir. Led by Deputy Public Relations Director Alma
Roisum, the ASPS rallied before the door to Old Main in what the
latest dispatches describe as, "a desperate attempt to halt A choir
attempts to take control of the Old Main and the tunnel leading to
the gym."
At the latest report the ASPS are still in control of Old Main,
although the bass section of the
A choir was able, through the
efforts of a flying squad from
the Radio choir, to force an en-trance
into the tunnel through the
Art department. Bloody fighting
is now raging deep beneath the
campus between the choir resist-ance
force and Olson's Storm
Troopers.