Every once in a while Grey and Rudy will head down to the local Jewish bakery and buy bagels for everyone at Razzball Headquarters. Special occasions, birthdays, Earth Day, or just to let us all know we’re loved. (Note from Grey: it’s not a bakery, it’s a dumpster, and it’s not ‘buy,’ per se.) Of course there’s always that one bagel, whole wheat or multigrain (Note from Grey: those aren’t multigrains) or something equally boring, which sits untouched until all the other bagels are demolished.

I do have to admit, once you toast that circle of whole wheat dullness and lather it with excessive amounts of cream cheese (NfG: it’s not cream cheese either), it’s still pretty damn tasty. While it’s not an onion or sesame or, the Holy Grail, asiago cheese bagel, it’s still a bagel which someone will end up devouring.

For me, head to head points leagues are the whole wheat bagels of fantasy baseball. While it’s not a roto league or even a head to head categories league, it’s still a form of fantasy baseball, which can satisfy my incurable fantasy baseball addiction until the next dose arrives. So when Scott White of CBS Fantasy Sports became desperate enough to invite someone with the name “Donkey Teeth” into his industry points league mock draft, I pounced on that drug-filled wheat bagel like the starving fiend I am. (NfG: I could’ve sworn I removed all syringes from the bagels prior to bringing them back)

Here’s the points scoring system and roster positions used for this particular mock draft:

So, how’s everyone holding up without baseball every day? I don’t know what to do with myself! Yesterday I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about German Marquez for 2019. Then I sobbed into a cheddar scone until someone asked me to leave. We’ve gone over the final 2018 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. This is different than Final Fantasy rankings where you rank Final Fantasy 1 thru Final Fantasy 15. That’s hardcore nerd shizz! This is simply fantasy baseball — we’re softcore nerds like Emmanuelle is to porn. So, there’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left. You’re welcome. I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking next about 2019 rookies. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

My 2018 fantasy baseball season may be over, but my 2019 fantasy baseball season has just begun! Justin Mason of Friends with Fantasy Benefits is hosting a series of #2EarlyMocks with fantasy baseball analysts from around the web and he was kind enough to invite me to participate in one of them. For me, it’s never #2Early. Hell, I’ll do a mock draft for 2024 if anyone is willing to host one! I’ll be taking Blaze Jordan #1 overall!

Below you’ll see the first 7 rounds of the 28 round draft. I was assigned the 1st overall pick — which for round 1 (in my opinion) is pretty boring. However, from there it gets interesting — you have a long time to wait and watch a lot of baseball’s top 20 players go off the board. I’ve included each selection’s 2018 ADP ranking so you can see who has gained/lost the most value. Something to note — the number I’ve written below isn’t their actual ADP — just the rank that ADP falls among all players. For example, Christian Yelich’s ADP was actually 41.3, but that leaves him ranked as the 40th player taken off the board — hence the 40.

Emerging from your parents’ basement, blocking the sun with your hand, “Mother, did you see wash my underwear? Mother?” You shake her shoulder and her head falls off and the skull rolls into the kitchen. You casually pick up the head, “Mother, did you do my laundry I asked for back in March?” You move your mother’s jaw bones, “Yes, sonny boy. How did you do in your fantasy league?” “Thank you for asking, mother. I achieved great success. Let’s tell father.” You turn to a sack of potatoes wearing an “I’m with stupid” t-shirt and glued-on corn cob pipe. “Father, we have won our fantasy league. It was great fun. Now it’s back to spending time with the family.” And that’s how you incorporated yourself back into family life. Well, we can’t all be winners like that gent, but it is time to lick thy wounds if you lost and razz thy neighbors if you won. So, hopefully, let’s razz on, Razzers. Unless your league counts game 163, then it’s still on like Steve Wiebe playing Donkey Kong! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Welcome into a sad day here at Razzball does Draft, the final Monday of the regular season. At least we get to go out with Ace Day as Corey Kluber, Luis Severino, Stephen Strasburg, and Clayton Kershaw are all scheduled to take the mound. You don’t need me to tell you that all 4 are great plays. In light of that, let’s go deep and look past the obvious pitchers. You should also keep in mind that things may change with the playoff races and I will take no responsibility… for anything. Anyways, thanks for being here and best of luck today.

New to Draft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Why do I keep hearing in my head Deniece Williams? “Let’s hear it for the boy! Let’s give that ball a hand!” Am I the only one hearing that? Recently, Jameson Taillon mentioned that he always smells the ball before playing catch. What is with guys smelling balls? Don’t pretend I’m the only one! Is that a carryover from our gorilla days? I’m like John Scopes with a monocle! Speaking of evolution, I was recently thinking about how we’ve managed to stand upright, but thousands of years and we’re not using our feet as hands yet? Like you wouldn’t take three hands and hop on one leg all day, please. Any hoo! Jameson Taillon threw a gem yesterday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.24. I’m going to like him in 2019, as I’ve liked him for the last few years, but I can’t say I’m as excited about his 8 .4 K/0, 2.2 BB/9 and 3.56 xFIP as I wish I were. His fastball velocity of 95 MPH should be producing a tad more. I think there’s a 10 K/9 in there somewhere, but since he’s basically repeated his previous year’s stats, it’s hard to expect that much more in 2019. Still, have to give the ball a hand! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

As we get into September with the expanded rosters, I do feel there are some pieces of advice that I can offer — stuff that may not be entirely obvious, or things that may be obvious but are worth being reminded of once again. Let’s take a look at some general strategy, along with some specific picks for your FanDuel tournament today.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to theDFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through usbefore jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

The Fantasy Master Lothario himself, Grey Albright, graces the Ditka dudes with his presence on this week’s episode of Ditka, Sausage and Fantasy Sports! All hopped up on “rose green tea”, Grey captivates Donkey Teeth and B_Don with his recollection of the founding of Razzball as well as his extensive courtship of the Ditka, Sausage Pod.

Albright dodges questions about allegations of sperm donations tendered to Madonna before detailing every aspect of his quest for a second consecutive NL Tout Wars championship. Then find out some players Grey expects might be over or under valued for 2019 fantasy baseball and learn what insight he’s taken away from the 2018 fantasy baseball season.

All this, plus an epic game of Denard Span or Ben Revere, and details regarding Albright’s secret relationship with Streamonator can be had just by clicking play below!

Oakland A’s rookie outfielder slash speed demon slash rocket arm slash hot shot Ramon Laureano hit two home runs Friday night including his first career lead off bomb to which even Ricky Henderson nodded in approval. He became the first A’s player with two multi-home run games in his first 30 games and the rook upped his slash to .309/.387/568 with five bombs, 13 RBI, and let us not forget, a perfect 4-for-4 in steals chances. Yes, hashtag SAGNOF. That’s why we’re talking about him for 2018. Ramon lead off for just the second time in his young MLB career (he doubled twice leading off Wednesday) but considering such positive results, it’s likely he’ll see a lot more time there throughout the remainder of the season. Laureano held an .895 OPS with 13 homers and 11 steals in 63 games at AAA before his call up and has done nothing but excel since he got here. Everybody loves this guy! Is it because he delivered a game winner in his MLB debut? Is it because he has the potential to be a real life 5-tool player? Or is it because he plays defense like a gold glover and has an absolute cannon of an arm that would make Tom Brady blush. Sweet sassy molassy! I’m sorry I have to watch that again. And you’re sure I don’t get fantasy points for that? If, like most people, you’ve already moved on to fantasy football and are sad about your Leveons or your McKinnons, try to remember Ramon Laureano for your 2019 sleeper radar. But if you are still with us, and you need some speed and runs and average in the stretch run, go grab yourself a bowl of Ramon while he’s hot!

I’ve been on the wrong side of Jon Gray ($16,800) all season long it seems like. I drafted him in season long leagues, only to suffer through his miserable first half and drop him once he was sent to the minors. Next, he was picked up by another team only to see him go on a run that was ace-like. Besides his most recent hiccup in LAA, Gray has given up more than 3 ER just once since his return. Tonight, he gets the hapless Padres in Petco, which is a dream matchup for any pitcher, nevermind one with the strikeout upside of Gray. To make things even more juicy, the Padres are second in the league in team strikeouts, just one strikeout behind the White Sox. Gray should be a staple of GPP lineups tonight and I could even see using him in cash.

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!