The Kirkus Prize is one of the richest literary awards in the world, with a prize of $50,000 bestowed annually to authors of fiction, nonfiction and young readers’ literature. It was created to celebrate the 81 years of discerning, thoughtful criticism Kirkus Reviews has contributed to both the publishing industry and readers at large. Books that earned the Kirkus Star with publication dates between November 1, 2015, and October 31, 2016 (see FAQ for exceptions), are automatically nominated for the 2016 Kirkus Prize, and the winners will be selected on November 3, 2016, by an esteemed panel composed of nationally respected writers and highly regarded booksellers, librarians and Kirkus critics.

KIRKUS REVIEW

A debut memoir that recalls the writer’s struggles to succeed and find
happiness despite the obstacles—familial, social, legal, and personal—that
stood in her way.

Crosby grew up in the postwar Bronx facing a verbally and physically abusive
mother, a family that made her a scapegoat, and a society that expected her to
conceal her talents rather than threaten male egos. Head-turningly beautiful, a
superior student, an accomplished pianist and swimmer, and pious, Crosby had
dreamed of becoming a nun—a dream that she hid from her family because she knew
they would mock her. Instead, she earned a degree in chemistry from Fordham
University at a time when she had to get her diploma through the School of
Education because women weren’t allowed to get degrees through the science
department. Crosby’s job opportunities were limited by sexism, but she worked
as a research assistant, earned a master’s in philosophy, became a forensic
criminalist, and taught chemistry at Santa Monica College in California. Along
the way, she married and later split up with her husband; she had two children,
three abortions, and a miscarriage. She details her battles with addiction and
her recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous; money, health, and legal worries; family
tensions; and relationship troubles in this memoir. The title reflects Crosby’s
anguish about wanting to be “good” in the way she was taught but also wanting
to follow her heart. She ends with a firm statement of her intention with this
memoir: “to honor lives lost long ago, to uphold the freedom that is essential
to all moral choices, and to claim the right to my own life at last.” Younger
readers may find it difficult to believe the number of impediments that women
faced before feminism’s gains, but Crosby delivers convincing and blood
pressure–raising descriptions of the injustices she encountered. She lays out
her own contradictions with rueful honesty, such as not using birth control
despite engaging in an active sex life or trying “to fix the whole world when I
could barely pay my rent.” The book can become tedious, though, in detailing
minutiae. Readers may feel compassion but also fatigue by the end given the
author’s long memory for slights and her forays into triviality. Still, the
story sparkles with compelling details (Crosby dated Buzz Aldrin for a time)
and remains undeniably sympathetic.

A bracing vindication of the rights of women through one remarkable
woman’s postwar story.

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