Addison had left the trailer, a heavy feeling hovering over her. She knew the moment she and Derek shared in the trailer wouldn't be their last happy moment together. There were going to be lots of moments in which they would go out and find their love for one another again. The only problem was they would have to make time to work things out, to talk about the past, about Mark and Meredith, about why they fell apart.

It wasn't fair. Why couldn't they just know and move on? Why did they have to bring out the pain and everything that's happened? Addison knew it was something they needed to do. She knew very well without talking about those things, their marriage would fall apart again. She just wished they could fast forward through all of that and just be happy, just be Addison and Derek.

Of course, life never worked that way and they would have to battle it out, hoping and keeping faith that they would come out of it alive and stronger than ever.

She'd gotten Finn's first text message on her way to the hospital but decided against texting him back until she got to the hospital; however, by then he'd already withdrawn his first request and told her to take a rain check. Noting that she really needed to talk to him, Addison made a mental note to contact him later. The night before had been complicated and she was sure she'd led him on. Now things were different and she was going to work things out with Derek so she needed to tell him. He was a good friend and she was sure that she would need his shoulder to lean on when things got tough with Derek so she needed to be absolutely honest with him.

Her day had gone on with very little difficulty. Everything was the same as always. Patients, babies, mothers; just the same thing she dealt with on a day to day basis. Her mind however drifted to Derek quite often. They always had, but this had gotten to a point where she almost couldn't keep her mind off of it. Her mind was on Derek when she walked down the halls. It was on Derek when she wrote notes in a chart. The only time she could tear her mind away from Derek was when she was actually in surgery. She was a surgeon and her patients deserved the best. She would not let her personal life jeopardize a patient's life.

Now Addison was staring blankly down at a chart at the nurses' station, pen in hand but unmoving. All she could think about was Derek, wondering when she'd be able to see him again, when they could have a moment like they'd had that morning. She missed the sheer bliss and playfulness they'd always shared in the beginning of their relationship. The morning let her get a glimpse of that again and all she wanted was for every moment to be just like that; Addison and Derek, the way they were supposed to be. It was just a dream, but it was dream she was going to hold on to.

He watched as Addison raised to her full height and announced that she was leaving. He'd been listening to her tell him about her affair with Mark and apologize for it. He hadn't been able to talk and hadn't even realized that she was probably expecting him to respond.

What she had said had been shocking. It hadn't been what he had expected, and it hurt more than he would have ever thought. The thought of Addison with Mark Sloan was unfathomable. There was nothing he could say. Still no words could communicate what he was feeling. Words weren't invented for pain like this.

But he couldn't let Addison go. He didn't want her to leave. Even though she had hurt him and betrayed him in unimaginable ways, he didn't want her to leave. That was probably a product of their promise to rediscover their love or something. Because if this had happened days before, he would have wanted to hurt Addison, but he knew it wasn't just her fault. He had brought it on himself. He had driven her into another man's arms.

As she wiped away a few more tears from her eyes, Derek realized again that she was probably waiting for some sort of reaction. He shook his head, trying to communicate that he wanted her to stay without using any words. She was obviously reluctant and hurting as much as he was (or at least her body language and tear-stained face suggested that).

He had to get the image of Mark touching Addison out of his mind. He had to know that her body belonged to no one other than himself. He knew what he had to do, or he hoped that this was what he had to do.

Derek inhaled shakily and pushed himself to his feet, hoping this was the right thing. He reached an unsure hand out to her and took her wrist in his, pulling her closer. With as much confidence that this was the right thing to do as he could muster, Derek brought his lips to hers after whispering, "I don't want anyone else to ever do this to you, again."

To say Addison was surprised would have been the biggest understatement of the century. She was so shocked that she even forgot to close her eyes as Derek's lips pressed against hers, his tongue slipping into her mouth. Addison stood frozed for a moment, staring at him as their lips remained locked before she finally got a hold on what was happening and she began to kiss him back.

This was the exact opposite of what she'd expected from Derek. She had expected that Derek would throw her out, tell her that he never wanted to see her again. None of her previous thoughts had led her to believe that this could happen.

Derek was kissing her, even after everything that she had just told him. He wanted no one to ever kiss her or do anything else to her again. He still wanted her. There was no way to describe the incredible relief the swept over her body. She couldn't be happier in this moment than she was right now. There was more pain to come. She knew that. But right now, for everything that was said and done, this was perfect.

Addison relaxed into his touch and closed her eyes, kissing him back and enjoying the feeling their lips brushing against one another. She brought the hand free from his grasp to the back of his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. After several moments, she finally pulled back, her lips swollen, and rested her head against his as she tried to catch her breath.

"No one ever will again," she whispered breathily, looking straight into his piercing blue eyes.

If they ever make it out of this, which it looked like they might, Addison would never give herself away again. She knew that she could only love Derek Shepherd, the only man her heart, body, and soul was for. Betraying him had been the most difficult thing to do, the most difficult thing to overcome. He was still willing to try and make this work and that was really all that they needed.

Derek enjoyed that he had taken her by surprise. She had allowed his tongue to slip into her mouth unobstructed and not even had sense enough to kiss back for moments. It proved to him that kissing her had been the right thing to do. It was the only way he could communicate what he wanted, and it worked so much better than words.

When she finally did react to the kiss, it was amazing. He wanted it it to be the most memorable kiss of their relationship. This was their reconnection. After this, no one would have claim to Addison. She would be his.

His lips curled into a smile as his eyes met hers when she finally pulled away. Their breaths were mingling in the air, and he couldn't stop his eyes from traveling down to her swollen lips. Being able to make her react like that always made Derek a little bit proud. He brought a hand up and brushed a lock of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"No one," He repeated, making sure she understood how much he actually meant it.

Slipping his hands into her hair so he had just a little more control over her, he brushed his lips against hers, "You're mine."

Addison's eyes teared up again as she saw the affection and love in his eyes. It was sad, but she couldn't remember the last time he'd looked at her like that; not this morning, not when they were eating dinner. She figured it must've been years since he actually saw her that way, since he saw her as the love of his life. Now her Derek was back again and there hadn't been a moment (with maybe the exception of their wedding day) where she'd been happier.

She massaged the back of his neck with her hand as she continued to stare into his eyes, a soft smile slowly growing across her face. "Yours," she said quietly as she leaned in closer and dropped her gaze towards his lips. "Forever."

Their lips met again, softly brushing against one another. Addison kissed him gently but she was a little reluctant. She wasn't sure about going further or how far they could actually go. Their marriage was far from being fixed completely. They'd only made one step, albeit a big step, it was just one. There were many more things they needed to face and she didn't know if they were ready to move onto something more physical.

Derek wanted nothing more than to continue kissing her. He wanted his hands to explore her body. He wanted to get lost in her, to make love to her. The last person to touch her like that had been Finn Dandridge (the thought of which made him terribly ill), and he knew that Mark Sloan had more claim lately to Addison's body than even Derek.

He wanted Addison tonight. He wanted to wash away their respective affairs and start new. He wanted her to truly be his, and he wanted to be hers. He wanted to hear Addison call his name as she reached his peak.

He just wanted to be husband and wife again.

But, as their lips met and his tongue dragged along her lower lip, he sensed reluctance from her. He didn't want to feel reluctance on her part. That wasn't the way this was supposed to be.

He pulled away slightly, dropping his hands to her waist and wrapping them around her. Of course he wouldn't force her into anything. He'd never been one to do things like that, but he wanted her. His body ached for her, and he knew that the vision of Mark with Addison would haunt him until he had the chance to make love to her. The prospect terrified him.

She let out a sigh as Derek pulled away from the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers. The way his arms wrapped around her ways, the way he called her name, the way he was breathing; it all pointed to the one thing he wanted from her. Being married for that long, Addison knew exactly what Derek was hinting at.

Derek didn't seem to be uncertain of what he wanted in the slightest. Reading him, she knew he really wanted this and she really hadn't expected that he would want it this soon. Everything was taking a turn she never guessed would have happened, not this early. Telling him about the extent of her infidelity, she had imagined, would have been much more difficult to get over, but Derek seemed to be able to forgive her for that, a lot easier than she could forgive herself. All he wanted was to have her for himself.

Complaining about it was the last thing on her mind, but she just wasn't sure. She wanted this, definitely, but was just afraid; afraid of moving too fast, afraid of just messing this up. The last time either of them had sex was not with each other. If they were to make love, they needed to be really ready for this.

Addison could see that Derek was. This was something he wanted and was ready to leap for. He was the love of her life and if he leapt, so would she.

Keeping her eyes fixed on his to make sure he didn't have any second thoughts about this, her hands went to the bottom of his shirt, slowly pulling it up and over his head.

Derek raised his hands and allowed her to slip his shirt from over his head. As soon as she had tossed the offending garment aside, he brought his hands to her cheeks and pressed their lips together in a tender kiss. His lips opening hers and his tongue slipping inside just slightly. It wasn't nearly as foreful as his desire.

He could see that she needed proof that this was what he wanted. She seemed so reluctant, and he knew it was because of his pain. In twelve years he had never seen Addison reluctant. He pulled back from the kiss and pressed a series of quick kisses to her lips.

When he pulled away from the kisses, he was breathing heavier and wanted her more than he had in their entire time together (at least more than he had since their honeymoon), but he wouldn't push her. He wouldn't force her.

"I need you to be mine again, Addie," He told her softly, fingering the top button on her blouse but not undoing it, "I need this to be what I'm fighting for."

He brushed his lips across hers and slid them to the spot below her ear, his tongue darting out to touch it softly, knowing it would elicit the reaction he wanted. "You... are my wife."

As Derek's tongue gently went out to meet the spot below her ear, Addison immediately started breathing heavier and she let out a soft moan, tilting her head slightly and leaning in to get closer to him. Her desire to be with him increased as he continued and she knew that she needed this just as much as he did.

She couldn't remember when they had wanted or needed to be with each other this much. Sure, there were nights when needed to get things out of their system, from a rough day at work to just dealing with life, sex had been a way to relieve them of their frustrations. It was therapeutic. It became something they did just because they were married. It'd been a while since they actually made love to show just how much they loved each other.

This wasn't going to be something they did just for the heck of it. This had no other underlying reason. This was just them getting back to being Addison and Derek again.

"I'm your wife," Addison said softly, a few tears slipping from her eyes as she wrapped and arm around him and kneaded the muscles of his back, "And I am yours."

She pulled him closer and brought her other hand up between their bodies to the top of her blouse, unbuttoning it as her hand made its descent.

Derek smiled as he heard Addison make those promises to him. That was what he wanted to hear. He saw the tears drip from her eyes and barely even had to worry if they were tears of joy or sadness. Without asking questions, he brought his lips forward and kissed away the moisture.

He pulled back slightly, his eyes meeting hers. All he saw was love, radiating from her, and he hoped he was conveying the same thing because he loved her. He wanted this more than anything because Derek loved Addison. It was perfect. Mark and Meredith could no longer be factors in their relationship (or at least no longer the elephant in the room that no one mentions) because they would have both moved past it. They would be each other's again.

His hands were still wrapped around her waist and he dropped one to the waistband of her skirt, slipping underneath the fabric slightly and teasing her skin softly with his fingers. He took the other hand and pushed hers aside so he could unbutton her blouse. His lips leaned forward, capturing hers softly.

Addison moaned softly into his mouth and smiled slightly against his lips. Her body shuddered as she felt his finger tips dip underneath the waistband of her skirt, shivers going up her spine. She followed suit, running her hands down his abdomen, hooking her fingers in the waistband of his pants, moving them along the fabric teasingly.

The moment couldn't be any more perfect. Their love and desire filled the room, resonating from their very beings. With this they were going to start over again. It was a blank slate and belonged to each other and no one else. It didn't matter that she had once been with Mark and it didn't matter that Derek had been with Meredith. What mattered was that they were here now, starting over and fighting to survive.

She removed her fingers from the waistband of his pants once Derek had finished unbuttoning her blouse so she could shrug it off. Reaching behind her with one hand, she unclasped her bra, breaking their kiss and pulling away from him. Addison stood before him, slowly letting the lacy material slide off her arms, revealing herself to Derek little by little. She caught his eyes with her gaze for a moment and she just looked at him, conveying that this, her body, was his and only his.

Derek swallowed heavily as he watched Addison reveal herself to him, an intense look in her eyes. This was amazing. They were connected; they were just Derek and Addison. Right now, nothing else mattered, just their love and desire for each other.

For the first time in months, Derek's mind was solely on Addison. The rest of the world had truly disappeared. There wasn't a Meredith or a Mark. They weren't having any troubles. They were just in love.

He took one step forward, closing the distance between himself and Addison. His hands were extended, and he placed them on her hips pulling her completely against his body. With a small smile, his lips found hers in a kiss, his tonge immediately seeking entrance in her mouth.

Her lips parted and allowed his tongue to slip into her mouth. Her arms snaked around him and she let her fingers softly graze the skin at the small of his back. The feeling of her breasts pressed up against his chest sent tingles all over her body, her skin heating up.

Tearing her lips away from his, Addison kissed down his neck, brushing her lips against his throat as she continued her descent. She moved her body down, placing kisses on his chest, his abdomen, and along the waistband of his pants.

Addison wanted this to be absolutely special. Tonight things had to be taken slowly as every move conveyed just how much they cared for one another. She loved Derek and tonight was the night to show him that she really was his forever, that she would never give herself away again.

She kissed her way up again, her hands seeking the drawstrings of his lounge pants to pull them down.

As soon as Addison had made her way back to her full height, he sought her lips again. As his tongue massaged hers, he shifted his hips backward so she could slip his lounge pants down and stepped out of them when they were far enough down his legs.

Derek brought one hand up to her breast, cupping it slightly as he ran his thumb over the nipple. He was intent on exploring her body, every inch. It was time to reclaim what was rightfully his, and this was the only way. One hand still on her breast, the other undid the clasp and zipper on the side of her skirt.

He pulled back slightly, wanting to see her as he did this before finding her earlobe with his teeth, "I love you, Addie."

Addison let out a moan when Derek's teeth made contact with her earlobe. Her hand went up to run her finger nails down his arm as the other cupped his hardening member, rubbing it slowly through his boxers, happy to get the reaction she wanted.

"I love you, Derek," she said breathily, her voice low and filled with desire. Addison was ready to give him anything, to give up anything to be with him. He was the only one she imagined sharing her future with and she wouldn't want to have it any other way.

Mark could never measure up to Derek and neither could Finn. Derek was the only love of her life and the only she wanted. He was the only one who was supposed to have her and she promised herself that that's what it will be. She would be his forever and always, completely.

Derek moaned as Addison's skilled hand made contact with his hardness. He dropped his head to her shoulder momentarily so he could regain his bearings and adjust to the sensation.

He lifted his head and brought his mouth to hers, nipping slightly at her bottom lip. As he continued to tease her lips, Derek took pulled her hand away from his boxers and intwined their fingers. He brought their connected hands to his lips, pulling away from her so he could press a kiss to her knuckle.

This kissing and slow undressing was all good and well. It was his reclaiming of her body, their reconnection. He was ready to take this further, to fully connect with her, and that wasn't going to happen standing in the middle of the trailer.

Their hands still connected, he slowly lead her back to the bed, crawling atop the covers and leaning against the propped pillows waiting for her to join him.