An Idiot's Guide to...The Dark Knight Rises

- Final film in The Dark Knight Trilogy following on from It Shouldn't Happen to a Batman, and Batman: East of Java.

- To bulk up for his role as the villainous Bane, actor Tom Hardy spent hours every day bench pressing former X-factor finalists. Starting off with Eoughan Quigg and slowly progressing to the full Waller.

- The moustache Gary Oldman sports throughout the Dark Knight Trilogy in his role as Commissioner Gordon is the first non-ironic 'tache to appear on film in twenty-five years and will be given its own spin-off.

- Widely expected to become the highest grossing film of all time with an estimated box office gross of 2.8 billion dollars. Enough money to buy everyone in the world a hamster, but not a cage to keep it in.

- David Cameron calls Nick Clegg 'Robin' and he has to laugh every time. He has to.

- More work hours will be lost this week to discussing who is the best Batman than anything else apart from people wondering if that person they really fancied when they were both sixth formers has gotten fat too, and the contemplation of suicide.

- Director Christopher Nolan dislikes using computer-generated imagery in his films. Accordingly everything seen on screen is real apart from the graphics used to recreate the late Sir Michael Caine.

- The film is set in Gotham City, a rotting megalopolis run as a kleptocracy by morally bankrupt physical freaks. Ninety-five percent of Londoners polled said that they would move there in a heartbeat.

- As dictated by editorial, in a naked bid for relevance and a higher Google listing, every Guardian column for the next two weeks will both reference and feature a picture of the anti-capitalist riot scene which was filmed on location in Wall St.

- When your wife says that Catwoman as played by the beautiful Anne Hathaway wearing fetish gear is too thin to be really attractive, agree with her. It's easier.

- The franchise will be rebooted in 2016 with Jaden Smith starring as Batman and James Corden as The Riddler.