Monday, June 7, 2010

A few weeks ago, there came unto this land a new username, and a new man bearing it: We know him now as Ves. His first appearance was mighty, as he used the comments of a now-forgotten post to write the most lovely, thoughtful screed about one of the most irritating traits of the xkcd fanperson; the command that Randall "get out of my head." Few other major comics' fans make such a demand of their respective comics' creators. Ves explained that this feature of the Fan is not only annoying (as we knew) but also destructive (as we maybe didn't). His comments merited a post of their own, so I am reprinting them, with some minor changes by him, here. People: it's Ves time.

============================

:carefully places soapbox, performs a few vocal exercises:

Ahem.Welcome. We all hate xkcd the comic for obvious reasons: it’s poorly drawn, badly written, and more often than not forgets to include a joke (sorry Randall, but referencing Firefly != punchline). And lordy do we love (hate) our cuddlefish- those few brave souls who leave the warm, comforting realm of the xkcd forums to try to defend the motherland from her invader. All glory to Comrade Munroe! But one section of the xkcd “phenomenon” (I just threw up a little in my mouth when I typed that) that we so loathe- which I feel lies under-addressed- is the fanboys themselves. The fanboys, and their many infuriating habits. My humble rant, which I submit to you, deals in this topic. It deals with what is to me the most utterly irritating, most emblematic symptom of xkcdfandom: the declaration of GOOMH.

GOOMH, or Get Out Of My Head, is about the closest an xkcdfanboy can get to literally kissing Randall's ass without... well, literally kissing his ass. Why? Get Out Of My Head is what you say when somebody expresses a perspective, observation, or conclusion about a person or situation that, until then, you had previously thought was only yours. It's actually (when applied properly) quite a high compliment to somebody who has an audience with which he communicates, because it accurately reflects the strength with which the author can effectively identify with his audience (and vice versa).

The problem is, of course, that the xkcdfanboys DON'T apply it properly. At least, not anymore. Maybe waaaay back when, in the days when the "My Hobby" comics were grounded in reality, and weren't just shoddily constructed deposits of mental diarrhea (for an example of that, see this comic). But now the fanboys, in their rush to suck Randall's ego's dick, have taken it too far, and stripped the declaration of all of its meaning. Nowadays, the most accurate definition of "GOOMH" as used by the typical xkcd forumite is something like this:- If given comic X touches upon, references, or pokes fun at, no matter how tangentially, something you enjoy/were thinking about within the past month/raped you as a child, Randall is in your head and you must order him to leave it.

THAT'S NOT WHAT GOOMH FUCKING MEANS. GOD DAMNIT.And so we get the childish tripe that so often peppers the landscape of the xkcd forums, of people seeing Randall envision Hell as a tetris game with a curved bottom, remembering that they played tetris on their DS two days previously, and chiming in to say "GOOMH randall lololol".

But it's not just a matter of stroking Randall's epeen, that motivates the forumites to wrongly invoke this phrase so often. No, GOOMH is a beautiful thing- it’s a gift that gives to everyone! Not only does a True Believer make Randall feel good by thinking "Hey, I have a great connection with my audience, I'm hot shit" when they whisper GOOMH into his ear, they also get to enjoy a shiver of pleasure themselves-- feeling they've ascended to a hive-mind. To use an incredibly nerdy parallel that most people may not get (because it's brought up in the novels, and AFAIK most Magic players don't read the novels), it's like the members of the Izzet guild's devotion to Niv-Mizzet. To be able to proudly proclaim "GOOMH, Randall!" is to them the equivalent of being touched by the Firemind. It's an almost orgasmic joy, that they now have a special connection to the godlike Randall that you lowly peons don't (and FUCK YOU for it!). It’s become a cult, whose initiation ritual is both a supplication to the Overlord and a personal stroke job as well. Except, again, they don't reserve it for the times when it might matter. Take, for example, this comic. It might be proper to declare "GOOMH" if the reader in question had attended a cemetery that very day and seen something similar unfold. But instead you get forumites so eager for that Near-God Experience they declare GOOMH just because they've seen people use bluetooth headsets in public before.

Why, though, does this piss me off so much more than all the other shit we put up with? Why is it more irritating to me than the near-constant vandalism of wikipedia, the failed attempts at memes (I'll tell you where you can stick your stupid fucking HI JOEE and HI GLASNTs, you little snotbags), the frankly disturbing fascination with self-diagnoses of asperger’s and autism, or the ever-present suckiness of the comic itself? I'll tell you why. It fucking pisses me off because it makes ALL OF THOSE PROBLEMS WORSE. It entrenches Randall even more in his misguided conclusions that he's still making a quality comic, it makes the fandom amongst forumites much more extreme by creating and perpetuating a cult status, and ensures that no matter how terrible the comics he makes, Randall can always count on one or two of his yes-men hopping on to his forums ready to pamper him by convincing him it's the greatest thing since Richard Stallman (ourfatherwhoartinheavenhallowedbehisname).

In short, I really truly honestly believe that the root, or one of the chief roots, of most of the aspects of xkcd that this community (and sane people everywhere) absolutely despise, is in the sheer unenlightened misapplied kissassery of "GOOMH".

Finis.

--------------Needless to say, Ves is wrong on one count: the closest you can get to literally kissing a person's ass without literally kissing that person's ass is to kiss that person's pants.

IN OTHER NEWS it is very old news by now but earlier today the Perry Bible Fellowship updated again! For the first time in a long time. Here's the new comic. Note also that the previous comic - the "we demand that you be funny, all the time, no matter what" comic - is missing.

all the excitement aside, I think the new one is pretty lame - you completely cannot tell what is happening in the last panel. Also, "orbit" is a terrible euphemism for sex - seriously, it means to go around something for a while without touching it. the end.

Posted by
Carl

44 comments:

Regarding the PBF comic- The last panel shows two astronauts planting the American flag on the moon. Presumably the moon has caught Earth's disease- either humanity in general, or Americans in particular. Either way, I think it's pretty funny.

It took me a while to get the most recent PBF because I thought the astronauts were tiny arms and the flag was a rose. I thought it was kind of funny to show the moon with tiny, tiny arms reaching out for a hug from Earth, but not funny enough to use as the first new PBF in a year (I think it was a year). Then I looked closer and realized that it astronauts. That was pretty funny, I thought.

Also, I doubt that the disease was Americans or even humanity in particular, it was probably life in general.

Unrelated, but I've been thinking lately - like some others who frequent this blog, I quite like Dinosaur Comics. I find that most people I know in real life don't seem to get it at all, and I'm generally at a loss to explain what's so funny about it. Since it's so easy for us to rip apart pretty much every lousy xkcd that comes our way, why doesn't somebody apply the same critical analysis to a favoured Dinosaur Comic to justify the love?

Nicely put. The 'My Hobby' comics used to be mildly entertaining, as they were often suggestions of things you could actually do to fuck with various types of assholes and pharisees, or what Maddox on his blog often referred to as the "pseudo-intellectuals." (One memorable xkcd example is to properly employ the verbal sense of effect to trip up amateur grammar nazis.) Seeing as by now, a large part of Munroe's fan-base probably consists largely in pseudo-intellectuals, he is softening the edge of his humor, and so it seems like nowadays the only group he goes after is the MSM. But we have The Daily Show for that.

The new PBF comic is merely ok. It's like a PBF version of the joke about babies being the worst STD you can get. Not a strong one to put up after a year of non-comics. Maybe he just needs to get back into the groove.

The art in the last panel hurt it a bit, too. Would have been nice to have the astronauts be a bit larger/more recognizable.

I read the PBF at school and didn't get it at first. If I'd been at home I suspect it would have been incredibly easy though. Carl how shitty is your monitor?captcha - drquity. i don't know what to say

A good example of what was a true GOOMH was Comic 245. In fact, it's probably the best example. Also note the low low number. XKCD had some pretty good moments back then. Why was this one a true GOOMH though? The comic was about a person who was walking strangely on floor tiles according to his own set of rules he made up in his head. When confronted on his strange walking, he claims he's not walking funny, and presumably the pair move on without saying anything more about this. The reason why this is the best example of GOOMH is that the experience of walking strangely, and then denying it for fear of embarrassment, is one that MUST be had alone! If you were truly afraid of embarrassment, you wouldn't speak about this to anyone else (or possibly you'd just forget about the event) making you feel like you might be the only one. When Randal then writes 245 you are shocked to discover you are not the only one who does this. That's a real GOOMH moment.

I also think that it's a good example of what made XKCD so popular. Back in the day, Randal really did just write about things that happened in his life. I don't find it hard to believe that 245 was a true event. It was one of those little tidbits of life that you don't share with everyone, so when someone else writes about it, you feel a connection. Now, rather than writing comics about little life events that he has actually had, he writes about little life events that he IMAGINES happening, or that he IMAGINES would be funny. Probably because no one has enough of those cute little moments to write 3 comics a week on.

Rinnon: Yeah, that's GOOMH. A cute little "Hey that thing I did that I thought was so idiosyncratic, turns out it's a common thing!"

Now the word's been bastardised into...well, what Ves said.

New PBF? I laughed. I thought it was going to be a straightforward obvious joke when I first glanced at the three panels so the fact that I had to give it a think made me laugh. (Maybe because I didn't try to figure out "what is that depicted on the moon?" but "what could it in theory be?", so the way I approached it required class PBF figuring-it-out, but I can get if you just tried to identify the image it'd be not so funny :\).

PBF comic: IMHO, it was kind of lame. "Ha ha, celestial bodies are sentient and they think of humans as undesirable residents" has been done so many times [insert your own clever analogy/metaphor here]

@Ves Frankly, with XKCD always talking about the Geek and other comics always talking about people, I think that any comic that just leaves humans beside and makes jokes about the billions of other things in this world, it will better. I think that is one of the major successes of Dinosaur Comics. People are tired of people

one reason I like dinosaur comics is that ryan north always comes up with clever ways to have natural sounding conversations and scenes within the incredibly difficult confines of the same six panels every day. The fact that it is the same six panels makes it much, much harder to write, and, when done well, much more enjoyable to read.

I liked the latest PBF. His ability to draw means he can make a wordless final panel instead of having to rely on stilted dialog to set up a punchline, like in XKCD. It was better than the "catchphrase" comic, at least.

I also immediately saw that the guy was an astronaut. Maybe you guys need your eyes checked.

The only complaint I have is that the moon has orbited earth since before humans existed (and in fact it has been speculated that life itself would not exist without the formation of tidal pools). But then again, planets can't talk, so I guess it's a bit silly to nitpick.

I'll take from where you left and make a silly connection here: you know how Randall is writing about moments he imagines he had, and that he imagines would be funny? Well, Randall is living life like if it was Family Guy. You just have to add a panel saying "This is more [adjective] than that time when [absurd situation that might or might not relate to whatever happened right then]" before any strip. I know someone did it for that Inspector Gadget comic.

What with a new blog post up, I'm not sure if anyone will see this, but it seems like you're judging the entire fora based off of the Individual Comics Threads forum. People on the rest of the fora kinda...don't like those people. Joee and glansts aren't really elevated either.

You know you've made it on the internets when you get your own fantrolls. I'm just so lucky that mine is as awesome as you, Petroc. You're the best a guy could hope for, you know that?You're stunningly articulate- even when you can't come up with anything to dispute my statement, the creativity and eloquence with which you state your displeasure of me is simply breathtaking. I'm so much of an idiot that I'm a baby-anal-fucker? My god man, that's prose that would make Chaucer jealous!Aside from your linguistic prowess, you are amazingly intelligent. Only a true idiot-- or, as you so artfully might say, a baby-anal-fucker-- would challenge someone to make them look like a complete dumbass with the employment of a single link! Fortunately, you're far too smart an individual to fall into that trap, which means I'm forced to dissect a competently made argument instead of just throwinglinksatyouThanks for the laughs, man.

@anon 10:21: I think it's pretty well understood this (and most of the issues people take with xkcdites in general) is aimed specifically at the individual comics thread posters. I mean, if people were going around blabbering "GOOMH Randall" anywhere else, that'd be really disturbing.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

Frequently Asked Questions

Divided into two convenient categories, based on whether you think this website

Rob's Rants

When he's not flipping a shit over prescriptivist and descriptivist uses of language, xkcdsucks' very own Rob likes writing long blocks of text about specific subjects. Here are some of his excellent refutations of common responses to this site. Think of them as a sort of in-depth FAQ, for people inclined to disagree with this site.