Phew! My friend Lisa Flinn and I just turned in a manuscript to Abingdon Press for a book of children’s programs: crafts,song, stories, games, explanations, snacks, prayers. I’m beat, but not too beat to write up one more craft, a craft just for you! PAPER PLATE MENOPAUSE LADY!

Those old time paper plates with the fluted edges aren’t very good for serving food, but they’re great for crafts. Google paper plate crafts + imagesto see paper plates turned into everything but a workable kitchen sink. So before I give myself a break from fluted paper plates, I have a craft for you. She’s easy. She’s fun. AND she will help you express your moods kindly and gently, so family and friends will have fair warning..

Color your face when you are happy and the hormones are rolling you merrily along.

Color your face when the winds of the Great Pause are turning that smile upside down.

No need to add age spots or wrinkles, but do color or glue/tape/staple on some hair.

Add a hanger so you can wear Paper Plate Menopause Lady around your neck.

Simply flip her to the mood that suits you at the moment. If you like, say this poem to all you meet, by way of explanation:

PS. If you’re on the younger side, consider making a Paper Plate Menopause Lady or a Paper Plate Pregnancy Lady. You’ll have to write your own poem, though.

Around the Year in Children’s Churchwill be out in about six months. I’ll send an update when the book is available. Although it’s written for Children’s Church (creative programing for young kids while adults are attending the worship service),the ideas also work well for Sunday school or preschools.

The Great Big Bad Hormones of PMS or Menopause sure can rattle a girl. And of course sometimes life itself adds to the clatter.

I read once that when things are so crazy you feel like a Mexican Jumping Bean,to try some slow motion. Pretend you’re a turtle or a sloth. (Well actually, the pretending part is my idea.)

SLOWLY put the dress back on the hanger. The mug in the dishwasher. The cell phone in the charger. Think of the nun at the abbey gate in The Sound ofMusic: “Slowly, Sister, slowly.”

S….. L….. O….. W….. L…..Y

Doing a chore or even part of one in slow motion is hard, almost painful. It goes against the core of our efficient adult selves. But in those slow moments, even if they only last a few seconds, you feel life differently.

You remember the excellent dinner you enjoyed while wearing the dress. Smile about the silly mug your boss gave you in December. Relive the last phone call you received: some super cool news from your son.

Rattles don’t calm babies. They set them laughing, wiggling, and kicking, but have you ever tried to rush a baby or a toddler? Can’t really be done. They must know something we know-it-all grownups don’t.

Feel the calm of slow motion the next time you’re stressed. And in that instant, hear the rattle of your life silence itself, even if just for one slow, peaceful moment.

Photo: Since I have a grandchild on the way, I have rattles on my mind–the good kind. I don’t think I’ll let the baby play with this antique celuloid model. That rattle will remain on a high shelf, but if Baby wants brand new rattles, Grandma will take them off the toy store shelf faster than you can say “Do-re-mi.”