"When I found the one I love, I held him and would not let him go" (Song of Solomon 3:4). My name is Kristy Dykes, and I write Christian love stories for Barbour Publishing...perhaps because I live with a hero husband. At this site, I cover marriage, romance, and Christian fiction. These book titles make me smile--and offer great truths: Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy and Sometimes I Let Him Sleep, Love Extravagantly, Every Marriage Is A Fixer-Upper, Red-Hot Monogamy.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

DREAMS, PAIN, LOSS

Milton, here for Kristy:

My thoughts today will be brief. Famous last words from preachers. Right?

This journey since November has been many, many faceted. There have so many angles to view this story.

At the beginning I couldn't understand how or why Kristy could be robbed of her dreams, our dreams. We saw many dreams comes true. We built houses and churches and raised two beautiful daughters. We traveled the country and spoke in large and small churches. She wrote and we wrote together. By His grace, we led people to the Lord and nurtured them and discipled them. We helped plant over 100 new churches and mentored young preachers and writers, and dreamed of much. much more.

That was the problem. What happened to those dreams yet before us? Was Kristy robbed? Were we robbed? The short answer that God gave me is what dream could be better than heaven and all its glory? I yield to Him. The dream issue was resolved quicken than I imagined.

Second, it was harder than I can express to watch your beloved suffer. God covered her with a cloud of peace and slid a chair of strength under her, but the physical pain was real, hard, intense and long. Now the pain is gone. She is well. Jesus is The Healer. She is OK.

But the third issue is still more difficult for me. There is loss. I sorrow over her loss. It is real. It is heavy. It grows. She should be here. I should be able to talk to her, to touch her, to love her.

I know the Scriptures....we sorrow not as those who have no hope....There is hope but please listen. We sorrow. I said we sorrow. We sorrow. Mourning, sorrow, lamenting, weeping, and grief are all part of the Bible too. Lamentations is a Book of the Bible all by itself.

My favorite life verse is Romans 15:13 "Now the God of hope fill you...." I know there is hope. I know there is a tomorrow.

In time, God will heal, but now the hole is large, deep, and wide. That is how we loved. That is why there is loss.

***

Plymouth is in North Carolina. I am in Manteo. I walked up the beach from where I am staying to Andy's house yesterday and could see it at a distance.

My friends, Ron and Judy, and I took a day trip by ferry to Okracoke.

Today I am going to fly on a bi-plane over Kitty Hawk. Are the Wright brothers still around?

For two days I have been free of Twinkies.

There is hope.

Preachers don't tell the truth about length or time of anything. Will they go to heaven?

Thank you. I am an AG pastor's wife who has followed this blog for months now. I can't tell you how your transparency has ministered to me. My life verse is the same, but we can say out loud, there is sorrow.

Even though I have only met you and Kristy once (I sat by you at an AWSA luncheon a few years ago) I have followed Kristy's blog since she was diagnosed last November. My husband Johnny has stage 4 cancer and our 39 year old daugter was killed by a drunk driver 6 years ago on Thanksgiving night so we know suffering too and can emphathize with everything you and Kristy have suffered and with what you are suffering now. God gave me Romans 15:13 after Shari's death and it has sustained me because the power doesn't come from me but from the Holy Spirit. Another chapter that is precious to me is James 1. The Lord woke me up on the morning of Shari's death and drove me to the book of James. I pondered over that last verse in James 1 that morning and wondered what does this verse have for me. The verse says, "Pure religion and undefiled is this; to take care of the widows and orphans in their distress." I thought to myself what an odd verse but that very night my precious son-in-law became a widower and my 3 granddaughters became orphans to finish their growing up without their mama. Their dad has been a saint but girls still need their mama. These are some things I have learned:1. Writing is therapeutic. I have done my best writing since Shari died. I had written 2 books in 2001 and have written 8 since then. I believe the reason is that when we have no strength, the Holy Spirit is free to use our hands, body and brain and say what He wants to say.2. Time is the only thing that heals. Talking about Kristy is healing. We still talk about Shari all the time and the sweetness of her will always remain in our hearts.I've gone on too long but please know that I am praying for you and that I prayed for all of you the entire time Kristy was still alive.

I believe these writings will become a book and I'm praying that God will show you exactly how to put it all together. It will be a help and blessing to so many who are going through something like this.

Lastly, I am thrilled you are "drying out" from the twinkies and have gone 2 days "twinkie free" since I am the National Director of First Place 4 Health and know from personal experience that Twinkies won't cure what is ailing you right now. Get back to running and take good care of yourself; God isn't finished with you!

God bless you,Carole Lewis

"I would have despaired if I had not believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13

I understand your pain of loss, Milton. It's like losing a limb. You two were one. Now one half of YOU is gone. Where there were two, the is only one. I can understand teh traeling, too. A home once filled with singing and laughter and loving is now silent and empty.

I pray as you work through your grief, eventually the sweet memories will produce laughter instead of longing, smiles instead of silence and hope instead of hurt.

Hey Milton, Regarding your comments about being alert to when someone needs a kind word (the cup and book), I think by writing in this blog regularly you are being alert in a different way and delivering those words to people you never will know. But I'm glad you met those kind people at lunch; the thought of you sitting by yourself in that place that had Kristy written all over it would be more than I could stand. Let us know how you make out in the biplane. We love Ocracoke; it's our favorite Outer Banks spot (Manteo and Wanchese are close). Enjoy that seafood!Love and prayers from forever a Tarheel, Kathy

As you take time to grieve and remember Krsity, know that your friends are praying for you. We are remembering you tonight, asking God to comfort you and renew your strength. Thank you for sharing so honestly with us.Carrie in NJ

. . . and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore ‘comfort one another with these words.1 THESSALONIANS 4: 16-18

The above-captioned verse is my favorite because it comforted me when I lost my mom and baby sister. I hope you will find comfort in it, too.

You'll see her again! Look forward to it! I sorrowed and grieved and still do. Tears spring forth like a fountain when certain memories cross my mind. But, then I remember this verse.

Milton, your words really touched me. I remember when my husband lost his father, who was about Kristy's age when he passed away. I remember thinking how I wished it was already next year, so some of the sorrow and grief would be behind us. But that couldn't happen. Instead, I discovered that God walked with us through the sorrow and grief, strengthening us in ways we couldn't imagine. You will be OK, but it will take time.

Our prayers are with you.

It's wonderful that in the midst of your sorrow you have such a rich sense of humor. It's contagious.

About Me

“Pizzazz! Enthusiasm! High energy! Those are a few of the words that describe Kristy Dykes. From the moment she steps up to the platform, she captivates your attention. As both a writer and a speaker, Kristy is moving and motivating. She will touch your heart with love and laughter.”-- FLORENCE LITTAUER. A former newspaper columnist, Kristy Dykes is an award-winning author of 10 Christian fiction titles as well as over 600 articles in many publications including two New York Times subsidiaries. Her titles have been on the Christian bestsellers list and Top 20 List at christianbook.com, and have won many awards including Second Place in the 2007 Barclay Gold, Third Place in the 2007 Inspirational Readers Choice Contest, and Third Place in the ACFW 2006 Book of the Year Contest (novella category). Kristy writes a column for the ezine of the inspirational chapter of Romance Writers of America, has taught at many conferences and two colleges, and speaks for women's and writers' events.
Living a kaleidoscopic life as a pastor’s wife, she jokes that she has 1.2 million acts of kindness in circulation instead of 1.2 million books. And she loves every minute of it!

A RECENT AWARD

Kristy won Second Place in the 2007 Barclay Gold for her novella "Angel Food" in the 4-in-1 collection Kiss the (Cook) Bride. She won Third Place for the same title in the 2007 Inspirational Readers Choice Contest, awarded by FHL, the inspirational chapter of Romance Writers of America. Kristy also won Third Place in the 2006 Book of the Year Contest, awarded by American Christian Fiction Writers, for her novella "Reunited" in the 4-in-1 collection Wedded Bliss?.

KRISTY'S PUBLISHED WORKS

The Heart of the Matter

Kiss the Bride

Wedded Bliss?

Room At the Inn

Holiday At the Inn

The Tender Heart

Church in the Wildwood

Sweet Liberty

American Dream

KRISTY'S UPCOMING RELEASE

Florida Weddings (Spring '08)

KRISTY'S LATEST BOOKS

1) The Heart of the Matter, a novel, is now available at christianbook.com. "Can Luke overcome his vain prejudice? Can Jeris allow her tender heart to trust again? Will they let God show them the heart of the matter?" (1 Samuel 16:7) 2) Kiss the Bride, a 4-in-1 novella collection, is also available. Coauthors: Kristy Dykes, Aisha Ford, Vickie McDonough, Carrie Turansky. Plot: Four restaurant owners discover a dash of hope, a dollop of longing, and a plateful of faith are the recipe for romance.