Are You Faster Than a 5th Grader

I ran the Capitol 10K yesterday. The weather was great – cool but not windy. As I waited in my gate for the starting horn I was feeling ready. That doesn’t happen too often. Usually I get to the start line thinking of all the training I should have done to prepare and worrying too much about mostly meaningless things. But for this race I was ready.

I got off to a good start. Avoiding getting trampled by the 15,000 people around you is the hardest part of the first mile. That and the problem with the first mile being entirely uphill makes it easy to get off to a bad start. But, not today. I felt good at the start and I felt good after the first mile. This feeling continued for the rest of the race. There were hills, turns, and potholes but I managed to run consistently throughout.

So, I was feeling fairly good about my performance… until I got home. Like most runners, I check the online race results after they get posted just to see how I did. By the time I arrived back to San Antonio the results were available. I scanned the list and found my name at number 292. Not bad, I thought while patting myself on the back. Then I started looking at some of the people who beat me. Some names I recognized, most I didn’t. There were the usual suspects, mostly guys in their 20s and 30s.

Then I came across the person who finished at number 165. No way! This couldn’t be! Surely I am reading this wrong or there is a mistake in the results. THE PERSON FINISHING 127 SPOTS AHEAD OF ME IS A 10-YEAR OLD GIRL!! I checked and re-checked it. She beat me by over two minutes. What kind of elementary school kid can run a 6:20 minute/mile pace in a 10K?? Okay, this must be a fluke. I bet she is from Kenya. Nope – her name is Madison. I was torched by a 5th(?) grader named Madison!

Something must be wrong. I bet her mommy wore her bib by accident. That must be it. I scan a little higher in the list and find that an 11 year-old boy beat Madison. So, to make matters worse, I was beaten by at least two people who are not even old enough to stay home by themselves yet. I imagine they both have must have shirts that say, Eat My Dust, Old Man. This is embarrassing.

So much for feeling good about the race. Am I smarter than a fifth-grader? I think so. Am I faster? Obviously not.