suffocating

I don't know what to do anymore, for the pass 3 weeks i've been so depressed. Two weeks ago i found out at 11 weeks i would miscarry again for the second time. And ever since that day i just seem to give up on life. All i could think about as the nurse was talking to me was, "what's the best way to end my life." Than a few days later i quit my job as a 1st assistance manager at a restaurant. Due to all the stress i was going through for the past years or so. I worked so hard and give so much of my time into the job, and the money i was getting paid wasn't fair and the way the company treated their employee is wrong on soooo many levels. So i finally got the balls to let go, but the thing is i didnt have a job ready to go to. I've been looking and everything but so far not much is coming through. I dont have a relationship with my parents, they kinda give up on me years ago. My big sister i feel like is always judging me in everyway. Thinking she knows whats best for me, so i when it comes to talking about my feeling with her its a heck no. My big brother understand me a little bit more. I can talk to him but his been so busy, that i havent got the chance to talk to him. And my husband im trying to keep myself together and put on this brave face when inside im suffercating because i dont want to worry him in anyway. He work so hard for us and i love him for that, I know things will wok out but im just wondering when???

I don't know what to do anymore, for the pass 3 weeks i've been so depressed. Two weeks ago i found out at 11 weeks i would miscarry again for the second time. And ever since that day i just seem to give up on life. All i could think about as the nurse was talking to me was, "what's the best way to end my life." Than a few days later i quit my job as a 1st assistance manager at a restaurant. Due to all the stress i was going through for the past years or so. I worked so hard and give so much of my time into the job, and the money i was getting paid wasn't fair and the way the company treated their employee is wrong on soooo many levels. So i finally got the balls to let go, but the thing is i didnt have a job ready to go to. I've been looking and everything but so far not much is coming through. I dont have a relationship with my parents, they kinda give up on me years ago. My big sister i feel like is always judging me in everyway. Thinking she knows whats best for me, so i when it comes to talking about my feeling with her its a heck no. My big brother understand me a little bit more. I can talk to him but his been so busy, that i havent got the chance to talk to him. And my husband im trying to keep myself together and put on this brave face when inside im suffercating because i dont want to worry him in anyway. He work so hard for us and i love him for that, I know things will wok out but im just wondering when???

I'm sorry to hear about your babies. That's something I hope I never experience. You guys are so strong willed that you can keep going on. I know that ending your life seems like the easy thing to do, but it isn't the answer. You don't want to hurt your husband who sound like he is doing everything to help out the situation. I think you done the right thing by leaving since the food service, or most importantly, serving people can be very stressful, and you don't need that. I know that you don't want to worry your husband, but you need to realize that he is your husband and should want to hear what you have to say because you don't want to keep anything building up into depression inside. I just signed up today, but feel free to message me if you do need to talk until you can get it in you to talk with your husband. Remember, you guys got married, so always tell each other your problems.