The Survivor Game Changers preseason is officially underway. Every week day until the season premiere on March 8, Parade’s Josh Wigler will present a new story from the beaches of Fiji, as told in the Survivor contestants’ own words. Click here to start from the beginning, and click here for our table of contents and castaway photo gallery.

First, some context. This interview takes place a little bit more than two weeks after the Survivor Kaoh Rong finale. The results remain divisive. Many people are satisfied with Michele Fitzgerald’s victory, while others see runner-up Aubry Bracco as worthier of the win. Wherever you stand as a Survivor fan, it’s not a stretch to call this the most contentious outcome since Samoa. It’s died down a bit as of this story’s publication, but the Michele vs Aubry debate is still very fresh at the time of this conversation, and very much on the minds of the Game Changers cast as they prepare for the season ahead.

Naturally, it’s on Aubry’s mind, too, as she endured question after question on the topic in the weeks leading up to Fiji. Maybe she couldn’t fully speak her mind then, knowing her potential opponents may have been listening in. Then again, maybe not. With no threat of tipping anyone off, Aubry’s perspective on what happened in Kaoh Rong is pretty much what it’s been for a few months now:

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I’ve come to accept this year that many things can be true at the same time.

True to her diplomatic nature, Aubry stands somewhere in the middle. But the celebrated coloring book artist and manatee enthusiast hasn’t always been at peace with how her season ended. She certainly wasn’t at peace when her season began. Aubry’s early days in Kaoh Rong were marked by a panic attack, followed a few rounds later by an awkward flip on a former ally, then followed again and again by the ill-timed emergency exits of two crucial allies.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): My strategy now is to align with people, and then they’ll get med-evaced!

On the flip side, Aubry survived a massive numbers disadvantage at the merge, recruited and swayed a crucial swing vote or two along the way, and lived through more than a few other trials by fire, one of which was literally a trial by fire. But it still wasn’t enough to win. During the Final Tribal Council, jurors like Scot Pollard claimed that Aubry grew “weaker” as the season progressed, a notion she takes issue with.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I think it’s a little bit baloney that they didn’t see my game, since so many people flat-out told me: “You’re a threat.” I had eight votes against me. Something was going on.

Josh Wigler (Survivor press, Parade): So you don’t buy the logic?

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): You should always take responsibility for your actions in life. But I do think there was some bitterness about an intelligent female beating some of these guys. They respected me when they were in a position of power, and when they weren’t? They didn’t.

The votes would not be publicly revealed until more than a full year later, but Aubry still walked away from Final Tribal Council with an accurate read of the room: Michele won, and Aubry lost. In the subsequent days, as she returned to civilization, Aubry wrestled with revisionist history, wondering if there’s anything she could have done differently to sway the vote.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): It was agonizing. I would think about how I should have answered Cydney differently, or this person differently. Was I not nice enough to Scot? I don’t know. I went in and played that Tribal as well as I could have. Nick told me to go in confident, and I did. And then they’re telling me, “You seem afraid.” So which is it? I couldn’t please that group of people.

The ensuing weeks and months were filled with similar kinds of thoughts, flashbacks, even a fever dream or two.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): It was brutal. I would wake up when I first got home and I would be calling out for Cydney and Michele. I would be in my parents’ house and call out: “Cyd? Michele?” Yeah, you’re pretty messed up when you come out of this!

But time, much like Doctor Joe, heals all wounds. As the year went on, Aubry reflected more and more on the outcome of her season, inching closer to closure.

Josh Wigler (Survivor press, Parade): When did you start to feel okay with the result?

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): It was a slow process. Probably when the cast was announced and we weren’t holding this in anymore. When you can’t talk about it, it becomes this festering thing. Once it was out, we ripped off the Band-Aid as the season went.

For Aubry, watching the show became its own form of therapy.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): Everything I saw was true to me. That’s exactly how it occurred to me. I realize I was a bit spoiled in that I did get to tell a lot of the story. I always watch Survivor and say I wish people took more responsibility for their own actions, but for me, the biggest lesson out of all of this was the exact opposite. Sometimes it’s okay to say, “I take responsibility for my actions, but I can’t control everything. Sometimes it’s not about my actions. Other times it can actually be about other people.”

But she also heard and internalized valuable feedback over the course of watching the season.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): Was my game too hidden? I understand what some people are saying with that, and I’m taking that into account now. Be a little bit quiet at camp, but don’t be so cagey at Tribal. I did get feedback that I was neurotic and paranoid. My day two haunted me. I don’t want it haunting me now. Paranoia is out the window.

Final Tribal Council took place in early May 2015, and a little more than a year later, the time finally arrived for the results to be revealed at the finale. Commence the fireworks within the fan community. By that point, Aubry Bracco was long gone, having already reached her moment of zen.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I understand that Michele won that group of people, and I have respect for that. That’s why I love the game.

Josh Wigler (Survivor press, Parade): That’s a much calmer point of view than some people have right now!

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): Yeah, some people were angry for me. I feel like I’m in a better place than the people around me. Seeing my family after the show? They’re in the same stage of grief I was in a year ago. But I feel good about it.

Okay, mostly good.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): The one person who I adore from that cast that I don’t think I’m ever going to fully get the closure from is Cydney. I respect how she runs her ship, but man! I would love to know a little bit more.

Other than that, Aubry swears she’s moved on from Kaoh Rong. If true, the timing could not be better. She’s turned the page on one Survivor chapter just in time to go tip top toes against the other Game Changers. It’s helped to calm her nerves, allowing some wiggle room to savor the moment more than she did during her first season. Take, for example, Aubry’s newest friend:

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): Look at that! Humphrey the Inch Worm.

Humphrey is an unassuming Fijian worm that appears in the middle of the interview. And he’s not alone. He’s joined by several of his friends, all of them hanging overhead from a nearby tree.

In other words, Aubry is keeping an eye out for Fiji’s glow-in-the-dark worms and wonders, but not at the expense of taking her eye off the prize.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I’m always in it to win it. If you go on Survivor and you’re not there to win, I don’t know what you’re doing. I’m always here to win. But on the other side of the token, I’ve seen all 39 days now. I’ve seen everything this game can throw at you. I’ve seen three med-evacs, infections, this, that, and the other thing. In those ways, I’m freed up to have some fun while I try to win.

On paper, it’s a great place to start, entering the game with a competitive spirit and a thirst for adventure. There’s just one problem:

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): For me, [Kaoh Rong] was a year ago. For everybody else? It was two weeks ago.

In this sense, Aubry’s timing could not be worse. She’s returning to Survivor two weeks after the public revelation of her controversial loss. Many of the Game Changers believe Aubry should have won the season, and they subsequently view her with a mixture of admiration and caution. Aubry is keenly aware of the dilemma.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I’m a little bit scared that people will see me as the winner [of Kaoh Rong]. And I’ve heard my name is already being tossed around by a few people.

Josh Wigler (Survivor press, Parade): Really? What are you hearing?

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I’ve heard it through the Survivor grapevine: “Aubry is super dangerous. Watch out for Tai opening his mouth at Tribal.” To me, that reeks a little bit of “them before me.”

What’s more, Aubry’s Game Changers baggage includes three other Kaoh Rong returnees: Caleb Reynolds, Tai Trang and Debbie Wanner. Perhaps she hasn’t yet heard the words “Kaoh Rong Four,” but Aubry sees the writing on the wall all the same.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I think everyone’s associating all of the 32s together. But I do think if the four of us were able to use our voices right now, they would see that there’s a lot of independence. The four of us are such different people.

For example, Aubry and Caleb have virtually no connection, having never played a second of Survivor together outside of competing against each other in the first few challenges. With that said…

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I can see myself working with Caleb. He’s super loyal.

Then there’s Tai, Aubry’s fellow finalist. The Beauty and the Brain developed a deep bond over the course of their time together in Cambodia, but these days? Aubry senses uneasiness from Tai, that his wounds from Kaoh Rong are still somewhat fresh.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I think that personally, while we’re very close, he was very hurt by some of the things he saw on our season. He felt like I pulled the wool over his eyes, during the watching experience, which was incredibly illuminating for Tai. I think he’s going to be very wary of me. But he’s very dear to me.

Josh Wigler (Survivor press, Parade): Are you prepared to vote against Tai, if it comes down to it?

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): It’s hard for me to think about that. It’s really hard to think about having to vote out Tai. But I think he knows he’s playing this game and he might have to do it to me, and I might have to do it to him. But it would be horrible. I would be in shiva after.

Finally, the fourth corner of the Kaoh Rong Four, Debbie, one of Aubry’s closest allies during their season… right until Aubry ditched Debbie two votes into the merge. It’s a complicated relationship, to put it mildly, and Aubry can already smell the gunpowder in the air.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I don’t want to armchair, but I think the experience was super hard for her. The way she went out? I would probably be hurt, too.

Josh Wigler (Survivor press, Parade): Do you think she’s still nursing a grudge?

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): Even if she says she’s not, I think she probably is, because she stood up at that Final Tribal saying it was all good between us, congratulations… but I’m not voting for you.

For her part, Aubry says she holds nothing against Debbie, or anyone else from her season for that matter.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): I’m an open book right now. I’m open to anything. I hold no grudges. Other people might. But I’m not holding any grudges. This is a new group of people. The dynamics are very interesting. There are a lot of alpha men and socially smart women. There are a lot of people with things to prove and things to undo that they did right the first time around — social threats, physical threats, the people who are somewhere in between, and even some wildcards.

She distills the field down to one instantly quotable hot take…

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): It’s a potpourri of Survivor threats, and they all smell like trouble.

…which is exactly why she can’t afford to dwell on Kaoh Rong any longer.

Aubry Bracco (Kaoh Rong): In my ideal world, it would not have been two weeks ago that the finale happened. And there wouldn’t be four 32s on this season. However, that’s the thing about Survivor. If I learned anything, you can’t control anything. You have to take the opportunity as it is.

Read on for what the others think about Aubry.

(Robert Voets/CBS)

Malcolm Freberg (Philippines, Caramoan): Lady Cochran!

Sarah Lacina (Cagayan): This is going to sound weird, but I feel like we’re twin sisters, to the point where we have the same hair color and we act the same way. But I look a lot more physical than she does, and she looks a lot smarter than I do. But I feel like we’re going to complement each other very well. If she’s on board with it, she may be my power couple.

Jeff Varner (Australian Outback, Cambodia): Aubry and I are like kindred souls in a way. When she brought coloring books and crayons? That’s what I take with me. I knew immediately that she and I were going to gel.

Sierra Dawn Thomas (Worlds Apart): I love Aubry. I loved her on her season. I obviously don’t know her outside the game. But she’s smart. She reminds me a lot of Shirin, just being super intelligent as far as the game works. I think I’ll get along with her really well.

Ciera Eastin (Blood vs Water, Cambodia): I really like Aubry because of how analytical she seems to be. She reminds me a bit of Stephen Fishbach in that sense. She’s cautious and smart. I think we’ll get along and work well together. I think we would complement each other as far as opposites go.

Malcolm Freberg (Philippines, Caramoan): I’m a nerd at heart. There’s an easy connection there. Having an immediate friendship on day one can work very well. I just want to have a conversation with her. Here’s the problem: I’m not genuinely interested in a lot of these people, but I’m genuinely interested in Aubry.

Andrea Boehlke (Redemption Island, Caramoan): I love Aubry. She should have won her season. I would have voted for Aubry.

JT Thomas (Tocantins, Heroes vs Villains): Aubry should have won. She’s good. I could work with Aubry. Aubry is someone I could really talk to and work with straight up.

Zeke Smith (Millennials vs Gen X): I love Aubry. I would like to go deep into this game with Aubry. I think it’s a travesty that she didn’t win. I think it’s the same as Parvati not winning Heroes vs Villains.

Malcolm Freberg (Philippines, Caramoan): I read some of the post-game interviews she did and I still can’t believe she lost.

Jeff Probst (Executive Producer and Host): I think Aubry spoke to so many people because we watched this woman cry in the shelter and admit that she was overwhelmed and that she’s from the city and she doesn’t know from the jungle, but she survived somehow. She got her wits about her. She did not give up on herself. She started this amazing run to the finish and arguably was the audience favorite to win. Had the audience had the vote, I think Aubry would have won and Michele loses.

Ciera Eastin (Blood vs Water, Cambodia): I would have voted for Michele. She played the perfect game that she needed to play. People can say Aubry called the shots, but Michele wasn’t an Aubry. Michele was a Beauty. She played her role exactly how she needed to play. She won challenges when she needed to win them. I don’t like when people downplay people’s games. If they can own it and know why they’re there? She did it.

Caleb Reynolds (Kaoh Rong): Michele was my friend. She got there. But as far as the game, and how I saw it, and how it was edited to the people? It looked like Aubry was more of a strategic mind behind being where she was. Again, it all comes down to the end of the game. You can do whatever you want, but if you cannot convince the jury that you’re the winner, that’s where you fell short. So I give Michele the kudos for that. That’s the final touch up. If you can’t do that and you deserve it, then you’re deserving but you’re not getting it.

Jeff Probst (Executive Producer and Host): You can make the argument that Aubry got her elixir. She got her reward. The million dollars would have been great, but bigger than the million dollars is that Aubry walked away going: “Oh my god, I actually did it. I just proved something to myself and to any other woman like me who thinks they can’t do it. Actually? You can!”

Michaela Bradshaw (Millennials vs Gen X): Aubry won’t look at anyone.

Ozzy Lusth (Cook Islands 1, Micronesia, South Pacific): Aubry doesn’t make eye contact with anybody. She’s super closed down and really in her own world, not trying to ruffle feathers or be this or that. She’s just sort of in her own thing. I try to smile and make eye contact, but she’s one person I haven’t made any sort of connection with.

Jeff Varner (Australian Outback, Cambodia): She’s coloring on one side of the room and I’m coloring on the other side of the room, but she won’t make eye contact with me. She won’t give me anything out here. I tried to fist bump her on the pathway the other day and it was just awkward. Maybe she’s really laying low. I expect her to be my buddy, but I don’t really know.

Andrea Boehlke (Redemption Island, Caramoan): You have to be careful with Aubry. She lost to Michele. She’s going to want to bring goats to the final three. I think I can work with Aubry to a point, but she’s going to bring people to the final three that she doesn’t think will get any votes.

Sandra Diaz-Twine (Pearl Islands, Heroes vs Villains): She has to be one of the first ones to go. I thought she won last season, and because of how she played that game last season? She has to go home. Remember, we got to get rid of these Kaoh Rong people. At least two of them have to go. Ideally Aubry or Tai.

Tai Trang (Kaoh Rong): A week before we came out here, we talked, and said we would see how it goes. No promises.

Josh Wigler (Survivor press, Parade): And you’re good with that?

Tai Trang (Kaoh Rong): I’m completely good with that. Now, sitting here, I think she would be a really good person to work with. I know her. She knows me. I’m extending my energy out.

Sandra Diaz-Twine (Pearl Islands, Heroes vs Villains): If we have to approach Debbie and say it’s either you or Aubry and it’s time to turn the tables on her and send her ass packing, I don’t think Debbie would have an issue with that.

Debbie Wanner (Kaoh Rong): Everybody knows that Aubry and I had a deal not to vote each other out. Everybody knows that I kept my word and never wrote her name down, and she broke her word and blindsided me by going to the person who I went to, and that wasn’t good enough for her, so she f–ks me twice by then going to that person behind my back and having them vote me out. Everybody knows there’s bad blood between me and Aubry. And that’s cool.

Josh Wigler (Survivor press, Parade): Oh, wow.

Debbie Wanner (Kaoh Rong): Me and Aubry will pretend by the way that we’re going to play nice. But we both know we’re pretending. It’s a contest of who will get to who first, between me and her. She knows it, and I know it.

Josh Wigler is a writer, editor and podcaster who has been published by MTV News, New York Magazine, The Hollywood Reporter, Comic Book Resources and more. He is the co-author ofThe Evolution of Strategy: 30 Seasons of Survivor, an audiobook chronicling the reality TV show’s transformation, and one of the hosts of Post Show Recaps, a podcast about film and television. Follow Josh on Twitter @roundhoward.