I had the chance once and it worked out great until that person moved. I have no sex in my marriage but we still have a family and I act like everything is fine to make them happy but I am not myself with them. I had a friend that we use to talk about our problems and we used each other to vent our frustrations. At one point we were curious about what it would feel like to kiss. That was as exciting as being in Highschool and kissing someone for the first time. Than we decided to try more and we were able to be ourselves with each other and even experiment with new things that our spouces were not interested in. Actually our spouces were not interested in anything. I had not gotten or given oral sex since I have been married and it is one of my favorite things to do. My friend was my outlet for doing things and I was hers. We were able to be friends after and we knew it was what it was. We had no intensions of breaking up each others marriages and we both went home happy and less stressed. Once I lost that outlet when she moved there were times the stress became an affect on my family and we would even argue about our nonexistent sex life. I don’t ever like to push anyone into doing anything so I just don’t do anything anymore and it is a major source of stress.

What would I want out of an affair, a friend that knows the limits and someone we can both be there for physically and mentally. I can say I love my friends so if that is the type of love that comes out of it than fine but I also can have love for more than one person in my life. I just make sure I come home and my family responsibilities come first. No skipping something for my wife and kid to go have sex with a friend.

Well other than that short time that was a perfect situation I have not found another person to fill that void. Maybe someday.

I want whatever comes my way...lot looking for love though. A friend, a lover, companionship, a fling...whatever may come. But, I don't have expectations, I don't want to set myself up for disappointment.

I pretty much someone I can have sex with and maybe hangout with in the meantime, i dunno if affair is the right word for what I'm looking for though my wife actually suggested I "go get some" since we are 1600 miles away and she has a gf there lol.

What do I want in a sexual relationship, I want to be able to please the woman I'm with, repeatdly, it may sound cheesy but nothing gets me off like getting a woman off, that state of uncontrolled bliss that the right touch can bring. Well that's what I live for.

For me it would definately be friendship and love. Couldn't have an affair if I didn't love someone. Just don't see the point. I certainly don't need an affair for sex, hubby keeps me well satisfied in that department for which I am very grateful. It would be a case of friendship first that led to love that led to sex.

I want and am looking for a friend first. Someone I look forward to seeing as little as it may be. I want someone in a similar situation, someone who just wants some time away from reality. Sex? Yes that is part of it but not everything.

I had never really given it a thought until I actually started having an affair. At first I wanted sex because I really wasn't getting any from my husband, and I also wanted to get back at him for being a jerk. Then I wanted to be friends with the guy and now I'm hopelessly in love with him. I guess it's different for everybody, though. Most of the guys I've talked to have said they're in it for the sex only.

Well one of the things I miss most in my marriage is intimacy - not sexual intimacy, but touching and passionate kisses, hugging and really feeling the warmth of another person against me, kissing passionately, and being kissed back the same way. In my book that takes friendship first.

The other thing that would be nice would be having someone with whom I'd have the freedom to be completely open and honest without the fear of what she'd think or what the repercussions would be. I have to filter myself too much at home. I've learned over time that sometimes blunt honesty isn't in my best interest. Sometimes it's best to hold my tongue, or not tell my spouse everything because if I do, there will be hell to pay or I'll never, ever live it down. I know it's not the best thing in the world to do, but in the long run, it makes things easier. However, to have someone out there with whom I can talk about anything, and share my deepest desires (in bed and outside of it) would be fantastic, a confidant, a friend, a lover.

The other thing that would be nice would be having someone with whom I'd have the freedom to be completely open and honest without the fear of what she'd think or what the repercussions would be. I have to filter myself too much at home. I've learned over time that sometimes blunt honesty isn't in my best interest. Sometimes it's best to hold my tongue, or not tell my spouse everything because if I do, there will be hell to pay or I'll never, ever live it down. I know it's not the best thing in the world to do, but in the long run, it makes things easier. However, to have someone out there with whom I can talk about anything, and share my deepest desires (in bed and outside of it) would be fantastic, a confidant, a friend, a lover.

I'm in the same boat. There are things I can't say to my husband because I don't think he would get where they are coming from.

I want laughter, fun. I want to be surprised, and stimulated (in conversation). I want to flirt, and have someone flirt back.

I want the same as Torin. I am a flirt and need that flirty, sexy eye contact, that smile. The passion and desire that I am missing. I want the feeling you get when you are dating, that seems to disappear when you eat that damn wedding cake. It is not just about sex, but the connection you feel with that special someone. I want to please and be pleased.