If critters come on our TV while Mayo the Bodacious Bichon is on duty, you would think the Huns were at the gate.

He is off like a heat-seeking missile, straight for the TV, leaping up and down like a maniac.

Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark. Rrrrrr. BarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkAnd he will not stop until he has scared the TV animals away.

The GM Finance thinks this is “so cute”.

Absolutely.

Unless you are trying to watch a David Attenborough special.

Because it’s hard to concentrate when Mayo stands bolt upright in front of the TV, feet pushed aggressively against the cabinet, as he emits an almost inaudible growl.
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Then, for the next 60 minutes, less commercial breaks, he barks and snarls and leaps savagely at any critter on TV.

Even lobsters.

LOBSTERS for crying out loud.

And it is not random, deranged barking.

He knows what he is doing.

Case in point.

Last week our top current affairs show did a piece on how three farm kids were dealing with New Zealand’s drought.

Mayo and I were happily watching this innocuous story, lazily ensconced in our recliner.

Then the farm kids were joined by their pet goat.

At which point Mayo went berserk.

OMG!

Far crazier than when David Attenborough had brought lions and elephants and giraffes and black rhinos into our living room.

No, Mayo was absolutely certain this was the Demon Goat from Hell who must at all costs be defeated.

So he barked and barked and barked until, thank the Lord, the cameraman would do tight shots of the dried up land.

But even then, Mayo would stand ramrod straight, staring into the TV, like a marine with his finger on the trigger.

Because he knew, if those farm kids were still in our living room, the Demon Goat from Hell was lurking nearby.

And no damn Demon Goat was going to get us.

Not on his watch!

The bark-jump-watch-bark-jump-watch antics lasted at least five minutes – until the GM Finance had laughed and laughed and laughed,
and I had developed a headache.

Here is the interesting bit.

When one or two of the kids would be on the screen, Mayo would stand down.