The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.

That’s why practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.

Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.

Make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures.

Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.

Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.

When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.

Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude.

As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.

When we are stressed, it’s quite easy to develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward and break through the stress cycle.Practicing positive thinking helps to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself – It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For – Stresses and challenges don’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions – A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member’s bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don’t waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes – Have you ever told a partner “You’re ALWAYS late!” or complained to a friend “You NEVER call me!”? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’ makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts – Your thoughts can’t hold any power over you if you don’t judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don’t follow it.

6. Squash the “ANTs” – In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” Dr. Daniel Amen talks about “ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like “Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me,” or “The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!” When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin’, Touchin’ & Squeezin’ (Your Friends and Family) – You don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn’t touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity – By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person – Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination – If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It’s never productive, because it’s not rational or solution-oriented, it’s just excessive worry and stress. Try changing your physical environment – go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

It’s important to understand the signs of stress and react with a positive way of handling it such as these 10 tips. The key to busting stress is making sure that you look after YOU. As your happiness levels increase, your stress levels decrease. Have a look at your work life, your personal life and social life to see if there are any areas you can create more happiness. You might be surprised on what you find.

]]>http://zandraross.ca/kick-stress-in-the-butt/feed/0Motivation Secrets of Great Leadershttp://zandraross.ca/motivation-secrets-leaders/
http://zandraross.ca/motivation-secrets-leaders/#respondSun, 02 Dec 2018 00:29:37 +0000http://clean.dsdwebsites.com/?p=27311Great leaders know how to motivate others. Since the amount you can accomplish on your own is limited, it’s necessary to have the assistance of others. Someone that can motivate others to do their best has an incredibly valuable talent. When you can inspire others, you can accomplish much more.

Great leaders know how to motivate others. Since the amount you can accomplish on your own is limited, it’s necessary to have the assistance of others. Someone that can motivate others to do their best has an incredibly valuable talent. When you can inspire others, you can accomplish much more.

Motivate others to do their best:

Be emotionally supportive. To help others shine, removing the fear of failing or looking foolish is critical. Most people are frozen by fear and prefer to remain comfortable. When fear is greater than motivation, nothing happens. Removing fear can be just as effective as instilling additional motivation.

Provide additional support. Ask what resources are required. Does your employee require additional help or funds to get a project off the ground? Perhaps your child needs a tutor or assistance with creating a resume. Determine what resources are required for success and provide them.

Follow up regularly. Show that you care by monitoring their progress. It’s enough to ask and then listen. Asking questions will also help to keep them on track.

Be publically supportive. It’s one thing to support an employee in the privacy of your office. It’s quite another to be supportive in front of her co-workers. Parents are guilty of this, too. Avoid only supporting your children around the dinner table. Support them in public also.

Acknowledge and reward. Acknowledge progress and effort regularly. Everyone needs a little boost now and then. Ideally, give acknowledgement publically. Conversely, your disgruntlement and any discipline should be handled privately. It’s as simple as handling praise and reprimands most effectively.

Ask for ideas. You might hear a few ideas that are better than your own. It’s easier for others to get excited about their own ideas than to get excited about yours. Using ideas from your team will create a sense of purpose and involvement.

Be clear. Vagueness breeds confusion. Confusion saps enthusiasm. When the objective and the necessary steps are clear, motivation is easier to generate. Ensure that everyone is clear on their roles.

Set a good example. If it’s important to you, it will be important to your employees, spouse, or children. Don’t just tell them it’s important, but show them by your behavior. Make the objective a priority in your own life.

Create a vision. Paint a picture of the end result in the minds of those involved. The work is rarely enjoyable, but it’s the end result that matters. Keep reminding everyone of how great things will be when it’s over. The work is the path to reach that endpoint.

Deal swiftly with dissenters. It only takes one dissenting, charismatic employee to bring the whole thing crashing down. There’s often one complainer that tries to undermine the enthusiasm of everyone else. Don’t underestimate the damage this one person can do. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with them or move them out of the group.

Motivation isn’t just about adding positive motivation. It’s also about removing the obstacles. Dissenters are obstacles.

Encourage the sharing of opinions. However, once a decision has been made, expect cooperation.

Encourage others to do their best work or to follow their dreams. Motivating others is a skill that anyone can develop. You can only be as successful as your team. Avoid the belief that you can do it all alone. You can’t.

Great leaders are tasked with the responsibility of inspiring others to be overachievers. It’s a challenging task, but if you’re good at motivating others, you’ll always be one of the most important people around.

Coaching is a tool to help individuals and groups to figure out what they really want most, what they are going to do to get it and how they will know when they have got what they wanted. Coaching is about setting big goals and breaking them into smaller, doable steps.

Coaching is not counselling. The way I describe it to clients is:

“Counselling is this point in your life and back; coaching is from this point in your life, forward.”

DREAM ZONE – Coaching provides a place for you to talk about what would make the biggest improvements in your life and figure out a way to make it happen. Even if you don’t think you can do it, coaching can help you to see that you can. And, if you grew up like many of us did, the messages we received was that if you said something you wanted out loud, it wouldn’t come true (superstitious anyone?). If you don’t say it, think it, believe it, it will never come true.

STOP BEING THE VICTIM AND BECOME THE SUPERHERO – We can spend most of our lives wishing that our childhood were different so that we could be a different (better) person today. We wish that our parents were more supportive/less crazy, that we had more money, that we would have had better teachers, blah, blah, blah. We become a victim of life and everyone in it. Bad stuff happens to everyone but that the bad stuff is not who we are. The bad stuff is what gives us the drive to go after the good stuff. You deserve the good stuff. Be your own superhero.

DECIDING WHAT TO MEASURE AND MEASURING PROGRESS GETS YOU MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT – I have always hated pressure or setting goals i.e. accountability, because I like to “keep my options open”. In reality, I didn’t set goals because I didn’t want the accountability or responsibility or shame if I failed. Does this sound familiar at all? Understand this, what you focus on and measure is what you get more of. Coaching helps you to be accountable to yourself because you deserve to get what you want. Goals are the magic wand to change your life.

BREAK THE CYCLE – Do you want to do something different in your life? If not for yourself, but for your loved ones or your community members? People want change but a lot of us, we don’t know where to start. Coaching helps you to begin to make the changes you want to see in your life and the lives of those around you. The only way to break any negative cycle is to do something different than has been done before. Coaching helps you do something different.

You’ve likely heard the term “emotional intelligence,” which was first used in 1990. Emotional intelligence is commonly described as the ability to perceive, evaluate, and manage emotions in others and ourselves. Many experts consider it to be a better indicator for success than someone’s IQ. Your ability to manage yourself and others is dependent on your emotional intelligence.

Try these techniques to develop and increase your emotional intelligence:

Accept responsibility for your emotions and actions. Realize that outside influences don’t determine your emotions and behavior. You can view things from a different perspective, and choose how you’ll respond.

Work on your listening skills.If you force yourself to focus 100% on whoever you’re interacting with, you’ll be in a better position to notice and evaluate what they’re thinking and feeling.

It isn’t easy to hide one’s emotions, but you still have to pay attention. The more information you have, the better you can respond.

Develop self-awareness. We’re constantly monitoring our bank accounts and the number on the bathroom scale. Yet, few of us monitor our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Ask yourself throughout the day what you’re feeling. Is the way you’re feeling negatively affecting your choices?

Are you choosing your behaviors in an intelligent manner or allowing others to push your buttons

Learn to effectively deal with your impulses. Impulsiveness is a common cause of personal turmoil. We feel bad, so we order a pizza even after we’ve already had dinner. Or we grab a credit card and purchase something unnecessary. This type of behavior moves us further away from our objectives.

Notice when you’re behaving in a counterproductive manner and strive to make a more effective choice. Being successful and happy can be challenging enough on its own. Avoid sabotaging yourself.

Volunteer with those less fortunate. Spending time with those in need will increase your sensitivity for others.

After witnessing very obvious emotions, you’ll become more skilled at picking up on more subtle cues. You’re also likely to develop greater sensitivity for others.

Keep the focus on responding.Those with lower levels of emotional intelligence react, rather than respond. Responding requires thought and consideration. When you respond, you’re making a decision. Reacting is more like a reflex. There’s no thought involved, just the emotional response.

Have you ever regretted saying or doing something without thinking it through? How would you have handled the situation differently? What can you do to give yourself the mental space to respond more effectively in the future?

Avoid lashing out when someone hurts your feelings. Your reaction can make the situation better or worse.

Work at increasing your empathy.Those with high levels of emotional intelligence are skilled at recognizing and relating to the emotions of others. Recognizing that someone is upset will allow you to have a more effective response.

Ask yourself how you would like to be treated if you were feeling the same emotions.

You probably know someone highly skilled at managing their emotions. Their emphasis is on finding solutions. They refrain from getting angry or defensive. These individuals make intelligent decisions and can view themselves objectively.

Emotional intelligence is an important component of healthy relationships, both at home and work. Your life will be more successful if you can effectively learn how to manage the emotions of yourself and others. The ability to avoid or de-escalate interpersonal conflict is a valuable skill.