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millitary marriages and cheating ??

i am confused... i was reading a post about someones aunt who cheated on her husband while he was deployed... and the reactions were consistent damnation of the woman who cheated... but i have also heard on CM that men in the millitary cheat at much higher rates (i do have fam in the forces and their marriage ended with divorse as a result of his cheating --- that is the only people in the service i know personally.) so this is what i am getting, it is more offensive for a millitary wife to cheat: than a millitary man to cheat..... so is it just a double standard that is unspoken understood... and what about when the wife is the one serving ... does that change anything... so inform me...

I do think people in the military cheat more often, both the spouses and the military member. Ive seen it from both ends. When I was in the Navy people would say "when the lines single up so do I", meaning once they untie the ship they're single again. Its crazy cause most of the people i didnt even know was married until I saw them after deployment with their wife. So it definitely goes both way, its almost the norm, you hear about it and keep moving. Like someone else said, most ppl rush into marriages not even knowing each other.

I grew up a Navby brat. My parents divorced, in part, due to his cheating. My husband and I have been married 28 yrs 22 of those he was on active duty. Divorce rates are higher among high stress jobs military, police, fire and Dr's top the list. Cheating is not acceptable anywhere by anyone. It is not a double standard and it isn't just accepted. In fact a servemember that is subject to UCMJ (uniform code of military justoice) can be fined,, busted in rank and /or discharge for adultery. Is it enforced often...of course not. But neither is the law in my state that says if you walk in and see your spouse having sex with someone else you can shoot and kill them both and be justified. Not meaning to be pissy but I get tired of all the gross misconceptions about military family life.

It's sad and I do not tolerate cheating from anyone. I've had friends cheat and friend's husband's cheat and I just cant' stand it. No matter where you go people cheat, but while they're deployed some women view it as being single.

The military tens to be rather hush-hush about marital problems, but there are higher rates of divorce amongst the military. I'm sure that rates of infidelity are tied into that. Much of that is due to the stress of military life. Part of it is because too many of these men and women rush to the altar because deployment or change of duty station is imminent.

I think that what your reffering to (being more upset about the woman cheating) is when they are overseas like the wife is running around sleeping around over here and he's in a war zone. Alot of people look at it like that, like how could she do that while he's overthere putting his life on the line etc. BUT i am a military wife and I will be the first to tell you its equal i hear about just as many men doing the same thing weather theya re home or deployed. This is a high stress life, even if you have a great marriage the factors in it are stressful.

I do believe they're more vulnerable to cheat, and if I had my guess, that would be a one of the jobs where people do cheat most. Any job that involves your spouse being away for a long time, and having female co-workers, ups the chance if cheating. Hate to say it, but it's true. Yes, I'm figuring several people cheat in the military. You're more like to cheat if your put in the position to, and you're less likely if you're not.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 10:13 PM on Nov. 18, 2009

Cheating is cheating. Sometimes there are more opportunities when a spouse gets lonely bc they are not with their partner. Perhaps the military causes these opportunities to occur.