Contributing writer Chris "Potable" Krovatin is the author of two young adult novels, Heavy Metal & You and Venomous. He is currently working on multiple new writing projects, as well as new material with his New York metal band Flaming Tusk. Many people call Chris an alcoholic. He prefers the term “mixologist.” Join him as he makes a series of potables inspired on songs and albums by his favorite extreme-metal bands and serves them to his unwitting friends.

Plenty of modern-day kultists laugh at black metal’s corpsepaint-and-leather imagery, but no one fucks with Immortal. While many black-metal bands were shying away from the Kiss-like origins of the scene, Immortal were owning it. And as if it weren’t enough that they’re grimacing badger-faced night warriors who worship a raven-headed deity in a mountainous wasteland they made up—the music, man. Songs like “Damned In Black,” “Tyrants,” and the inimitable “Blashyrkh (Mighty Ravendark)” stripped away the genre’s newfound love of goth symphonics, returning it to the shred-heavy thrashiness that made Venom and Celtic Frost the legends they are.

My Immortal drink had to reflect the band—abrasive, swift, awesome, but still straightforward and simple. I also wanted to use ingredients from the band’s native Norway. A boiler maker-esque shot-drop would do. For the beer, I decided to use Norwegian Bøkkol, or Bock beer, a heavy brew meant to be sipped and savored, not pounded. For the shot, I decided to do a half-and-half of Jäger—hail Satan—and Linie Aquavit. Linie is fascinating—to obtain its nutty, biting flavor, the liquid has to be transported by ship over the equator twice (the word ‘linie’ means ‘line’). It is, I imagine, a beverage oft enjoyed between frozen raids on the mountains of Blashyrkh.

Fail! The flavor of Jäger-diluted Linie and full-bodied beer is a sudden assault on the senses that results in gagging and stomach trouble (See photo). More so, all of these ingredients are far better served on their own or chasing another than as an epic single gulp. Only consume if you’re preparing for the most ferocious battles in the north.

If you or your dirtbag friends can come up with metal-themed cocktails, send your recipes to krovatinc@gmail.com. Remember, though, these should be metal-themed and original, not the usual headbanger fare like Blacktooth Grins and Butt Burners. Use your imagination, and get slaughtered!