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Week of May 20, 2016

Steph Curry breaks hearts. Not just the guy who’s trying to defend Curry, or even a team with 2 of the 5 best players in the NBA. He breaks an organization’s heart, and all of their fans’ hearts, and any fan of any other team in the NBA. When he goes off like he did in Wednesday’s third quarter, he makes it really hard for anyone rooting against the Warriors to believe they have a chance over the course of a series. There’s a metaphysical element to it, a collective expectation that every shot he takes – no matter how insane – is going in. That’s why he’s the most valuable player in the NBA.

While LeBron, Durant, Westbrook can dominate, they don’t disprove your faith. You say things like, “LeBron got it going”, or “Durant couldn’t miss”, both of which imply that the great “it” won’t sustain, that the beginning of the next game signifies a fresh start, and LeBron will have to get “it” going again. There are gaps for faith (or perhaps delusion) in our opposition of other superstars, but not with Curry. The next shot is going in, whether it’s the next possession, the next game, the next year. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. While I don’t have a stat for the impact of the metaphysical on the outcome of actual events, I believe it to be completely and utterly at work. Patrick Redford’s story on game 2 crystallizes this point:

“In purely basketball terms, a seven-point deficit quickly ballooning into a 20-point one makes coming back significantly harder. But don’t discount the psychological damage Curry’s bombarding tendencies come with. It has to be incredibly demoralizing to set up an entire defensive scheme to limit the damage one 6-foot-3 dude can cause, only to watch him set fire to it all in two minutes. Curry seems like he frustrates and discourages those who he blazes through, and that has to have an effect on team chemistry and belief. How do you keep fighting back against someone who scores so quickly and persistently?”

I guess it should also be noted that it doesn’t hurt to have a the perfect cast of role players and all-stars around Curry. – PAL

TOB: Tip of the cap to Phil, who just crushed that one. As he mentions, it doesn’t hurt that he has a great supporting cast. But Curry is, as they say, the straw that stirs the drink. During that third quarter on Wednesday, I texted Phil: “When the Warriors are rolling like this, there’s nothing better in sports.” It’s the most entertaining thing going, and we are all #blessed for being able to see it.

Kings’ and Sixers’ Official Twitter Trade Jokes; Both Funny

This requires some quick background: In 2015, the Kings and Sixers made a trade. As part of that trade, the Sixers had the option of swapping draft position with the Kings in 2016. On Tuesday, the NBA Draft Lottery was held. The 76ers won the #1 pick. The Kings got the #8 pick. Shortly after the results were announced, this from the Kings’ official twitter account:

PAL: My lady has a favorite new joke: Whenever I call she answers with, “New phone who dis?” She laughs and laughs. Every time. It’s gone from random, to funny, to a little tired, to really funny. Seriously, try this the next time a loved one calls. It’s so satisfying.

Jed York: Poor Little Rich Boy

I loathe Jed York, so I love this story. Tim Kawakami is a longtime writer for the San Jose Mercury-News. A few years back, before Jed ripped the 49ers from San Francisco and moved them to strip-mall-haven Santa Clara, Kawakami tweeted that, if the 49ers finished Levi’s Stadium in time to open the 2014 football season there, he would buy Jed York lunch. It was likely a throw-away joke. Writers say stuff like that often. But the 49ers did open 2014 at Levi’s, and Jed cashed in the bet, even though it wasn’t really a bet because Jed did not have anything on the line to Kawakami. And where does Jed have Kawakami take him for a meal? Chipotle? Subway? Quizno’s? Some other perfectly Santa Clara lunch spot? No. Oh, no. Not Jed. In fact, he doesn’t make it lunch at all. They go to friggin French Laundry in Yountville, at $700 per person. Is Jed magnanimous? Nope. In fact, he sticks Kawakami, a sportswriter, with the bill. And he also makes Kawakami pay for Jed’s wife, for a total bill of $2,100. Kawakami told the story this week on a podcast and said:

“If I thought Jed was sticking it to me, I’d almost be okay with it. I don’t even think he knew. I don’t think he knew what $2,100 means to a sportswriter who didn’t inherit a billion-dollar team.”

My first thought was, “Well, there must be another side to this story. Surely, there must.” But then Jed York released the following statement:

“The bet took place two years ago and Tim has never shared his concerns about the dinner with me,” York said. “I am happy to speak with Tim one-on-one so we can all move forward.”

Nope. ifThis rich a-hole just decided to make Kawakami pay $2,100 because that is what rich a-holes do. Note that Kawakami also made the bet to Matt Barrows, another writer who covers the 49ers. Barrows was also present at that dinner. Barrows paid for himself. Jed, you are the worst. -TOB

For the past 11 years Bud Grant, 89, has a garage sale on his birthday. His garage sale is sort of a big deal. Thousands show up, and there are strict rules:

The garage sale begins at exactly 5PM on Wednesday, signified by a coach’s whistle

No haggling

An extra $20 will get you an autograph on what you purchased

Bud Grant is all Minnesota (U of M grad, lived there for decades), and he also coached the Minnesota Vikings for 17 years (1967-83, 1985), took the team to 4 Super Bowls (0-4), and was enshrined into the NFL Hall of Fame in 1994. He lives in a regular, rambler style home in Minneapolis and holds the garage sale because, well, that’s what normal people do. He sells old shit to help out his family and fund his retirement. What was for sale this year? “Got some canoes this year,” Grant says. “And paddles, and all sorts of fishing equipment. You want fishing lures? We got fishing lures!”

But – hey – leave your negotiation tactics in the minivan. “There will be no discounts. Almost none, anyway. ‘The prices are as marked,’ he said. ‘I don’t discount. I tell people, If you don’t want to pay the marked price, you must not want it very much.”’

Also, TOB – Bud’s a pretty great name for a little boy. Just saying. – PAL

TOB: Hell, my neighborhood had an organized neighborhood-wide yard sale last weekend. You should have come by! There may not have been a Hall of Fame coach, but there are a lot of people who have lived here for decades and undoubtedly have some cool stuff.