Sunday, August 31, 2014

Ugh! We have
slugs getting into the house. We’ve never actually seen any but each morning
their slimy trails are across the living room carpet. Now that may not sound
like much of a giggle but read on…

I sprinkled
salt everywhere. It didn’t deter the determined gastropods. We laid beer traps.
Our trespassers must be tee-total. The LSO filled a gap outside where they
might have been squeezing through, though how they got in from the outside step
is a mystery. It didn’t work.

So, what do
we do in these techno-days? I turned to Google and discovered we are in huge
company. Lots of householders were looking for a way to stop these horrible
intruders but no-one had come up with a slug-stop solution.

‘You need to
find out where they are getting in,’ said a helpful post.

‘How?’ I
wondered and then discovered someone else had already asked the same thing.

The postee’s
answer made me believe he was as thick as a doorpost. Or he was having us all
on (and why did I assume it was a He?).

‘Get up when
it’s dark, go into the affected room and catch a slug,’ he said. ‘Tie a piece
of cotton around it and leave a long end then, when the slug leaves, you can
follow the trail of cotton.’

Very Hansel
and Gretel.

I told the
gift-son. ‘Oh, do it,’ he urged. ‘I’d love to see the LSO’s face (he doesn’t
actually call him that) when you wake him at two in the morning, present him
with a reel of cotton and ask him to tie it around a slug. I’d love to hear his
response. It’ll be in his best Welsh Windsor Davies It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum
voice.’

The LSO did
refuse to tie cotton around slugs. He said it would slide off them.

‘Not if you
loop it around their ears,’ I pointed out.

‘And what
bloody colour would you like me to use?’ boomed this Welsh Windsor Davies It
Ain’t Half Hot, Mum voice.

Well, what
colour would you use?

And from Sue
Blackburn –

Well, I know I was slightly harassed, things whirling around in the old
brainbox (although I am beginning to seriously feel said box is emptying
rapidly) Nevertheless, I was somewhat disconcerted to find myself trying
to switch off the electric fire with the TV remote control.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

I hope the 'dress sense' gene missed me out. This is my family circa 1900 (I think). No, it must be later. Ankles are on display.
The proud gentleman with the fine whiskers is my great-grandfather. I just about remember him when he was very old and his whiskers were nicotine stained and he paid me 3d to give him a kiss. His mahogany bureau sits in our living room.
The man on the far right - according to my Grandmother - died of a broken heart after his wife died during childbirth. The baby died too and he lived for six months after the tragedy.
I wonder who the others are.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Forget the
friends and the rubber mice. OK, the mice are lies because they weren’t real
but they aren’t the big fib.

Kids at most
schools had to write diaries. My Gran said it was because the teachers were
nosy. My mother lived in fear of me telling some home truths. Me? I just wanted
to entertain my teacher but I also knew when to censor my own work. And now we
get to the bit about the hospital and waving to the patients. That’s the
censored bit.

What really happened
was this – Colin Page told us he had seen a naked woman in one of the hospital
windows so, after school, a big group of us went to see if we could be so
lucky. I don’t think any one of us had ever seen a naked person in those days.
We didn’t that day either. Or any of the following ones but I knew that I
couldn’t give the real reason for me and my friend peering over the hospital
wall so I came up with an acceptable alternative.

Thursday, August 07, 2014

Can you be creative at more than one thing at a time? I can't. When I'm not writing I've been heard to tell the LSO that we have goats' cheese, mint and pears encased in filo pastry and served with a medley of green vegetables. Creative description. Creative cookery.
Lately I have been decorating and not a word, apart from emails and they don't count, has passed through my laptop.
My writing room is getting a new look. I couldn't decide between classy or fun but opted for fun when I saw this so suitable wallpaper. So I am being creative with décor but I will get back to writing.

About Me

An explanation. I'd like to change invisible granddaughter now but don't know how to.
I'd like to change Travels with Sid but see above.
We changed Sid, the motorhome, for Bill the Bailey motorhome and we are still travelling.
The LSO is the Long Suffering One - husband.
Little Sid is our swivelling heater which looks like a mini-Dalek.
Noelly is my little sunshine yellow Ka.
Dave is the car we are using while Noelly is being renovated.
I put up a new post every Sunday.