Shocked by outrage in Devyani's case, US to involve Pakistan next time it humiliates India

Washington, DC. After the unprecedented outrage against US for meting out humiliating treatment to Devyani Khobragade, India’s deputy consulate general in New York, US has decided to involve Pakistan in all the future humiliations it intends to carry out against India.

US feels instead of outraging, India should thank US for helping it locate its spine.

The decision was taken after US administration confessed that the reactions from India caught them totally unaware and they were ill prepared for it.

“We were misled by Pakistan,” said state department spokesperson Marie Harf, “The Pakistanis told us that at worst we should expect a man called Manmohan Singh uttering strong condemnation followed by a Theek Hai, and a self proclaimed judge called Arnab handpicking a random white guy from streets of India and thrashing him.”

Sources say that US was confident of tackling all kind of “strong steps” from India because it didn’t play Cricket. Sources further reveal that the US administration had bought earplugs to defend themselves against Arnab and other strong condemnation, but they didn’t expect snub to their delegation visiting India or security barricades being removed outside their consulate in New Delhi.

An angry US first thought to penalize Pakistan for giving wrong information, but later settled for a close cooperation with them, as has been their policy with Pakistan.

“We must give credit where it is due. Pakistan is expert at handling India,” Harf explained, “Absolutely nothing that Pak does, be it beheading their soldiers, bombing their cities, sponsoring cross border terrorism, etc. seems to provoke India one bit. That’s as peaceful as it can get. Guess that’s what they mean by Aman ki Asha; we need the same with India.”

Pakistan too is excited about the development and has prepared a provisional list of arms and ammunition that could be required by it to carry out such activities on behalf of US. They have already submitted an invoice running in billions of US dollars.

“Since US is a friend and an ally, we would be charging very nominally for sharing our expertise with them,” Jail Abbas Jilani, Pak’s ambassador to US told Faking News.

Meanwhile, these events have left China totally confused. They are wondering if they were wasting their time and resources by carrying out incursions, which failed to attract India’s attention.