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Hawaii Five-0 Review: Mommie Dearest and The Headless Horseman

"Popilikia (Misfortune)" was a Hawaii Five-0 Halloween extravaganza in disguise. We had representation from old movies starring Faye Dunaway, a nod to Ichabod Crane, a wacky fortune teller and McGarrett playing the football player without costume performing not one, but two epic tackles.

Did Bai Ling play the worst fortune killer of all time or what? Everyone knows the Death card doesn't represent physical death and even if it did (hello!), nobody would go to one who whispered the equivalent of "seven days...." in your ear! I'll give her some credit, at least she was talking about the wrong customer, and the girlfriend read into it what she wanted anyway. She was touched by Billy's death.

The poor polo player did have a serious misfortune, though, didn't he? Danny calling him the Headless Horseman was perfect for the month of October and production was damned happy with their CGI because we got to see that head sliced off again and again and again. How very Final Destination of them!

Once we discovered who was actually intended to be murdered, I immediately suspected Jake's dad. It seemed like a long time to wait for a second go at your own kid, but if Jere Burns isn't playing a bad guy, he's extremely funny. He didn't seem so funny to me. Then his wife exploded, and I hesitated. She was kind of hot. Perhaps she was a mistake?

Nope. I was standing by my man. With the reveal of his wife and Billy having an illicit affair, I knew I was going to come home with the trophy. The timing of his son's kidnapper's release from prison was ideal. Seriously, could I possibly be a worse detective?

I wondered why Jake didn't just kill his father instead of taking out his friend and step mother. Sure, she was the trigger to the reason he lost his finger and was traumatized for life, but his dad made the decision. I was wrong that Burns was playing the criminal, but he played a weak man and a poor father.

He should have given the money for his son's release as soon as it was demanded. Somehow, after everything he went through, it seemed the only thing Jake wanted all those years later was the love of his father. Some people should never be parents.

Christine Lahti as Steve's mom was such an inspired choice. They play off each other so perfectly and she's the one person he can't get the better of. I should have known she was moving in for something other than old home week, but I want her to be McGarrett's mommy. With exchanges like this, who wouldn't?

Steve: What is this? What are these bags? You're staying? Doris: Yeah, is that okay with you? Steve: Mom! | permalink

Doris wasn't so convincing when it came to Wo Fat. I wonder how long it will take Steve to crack the second most important case of his life, after the murder of his father. Steve didn't believe her sham story about the safe house and wildly shot bullets. She was too good to let that happen and everyone knew it.

What was on the film in the little safe? Did it go back to Steve's childhood? How was it that nobody noticed the strange sound in the floor? Most importantly, why was there only a single roll of film inside a special case inside a safe, seemingly exactly in the middle, still standing? Silly television shows. As she lifted it out of the floor, it was almost as if it was important to keep it upright. Then we found out it was film.

You know what? I don't care. Hawaii Five-0 remains one of the most entertaining CBS procedurals running and watching it every week is a joy. The wit, the banter, the twists and turns never get old. Share your theories in the comments and be back here in two weeks when Jim Garner reviews the real Halloween episode!