Five Caregiving Lessons My Border Collies Taught Me

There are five lessons about caregiving I've learned from my two border collies. As many of you know they are considered to be one of if not THE smartest dogs. That's certainly been my experience having been around many, many dogs and having had the pleasure of living in the same household with many.

Notice I don't say having "owned a dog." Officially I might be the owner. And that leads to my first lesson. You don't own a dog – they are members of your family. You love your dogs and you probably are kind to them.

Lesson one: Respecting and treating your dog right extends to the rest of your family and friends. And it's especially important when you're dealing with seniors.

But dogs are different; they're not little people. They're not children, they're dogs. They've adapted to our world in many ways. But they're not people. Even if you treat them like little people, they're not going to change their DNA. They're dogs. And they're happy being dogs. As John Steinbeck said of his dog in his masterful book "Travels with Charley," Charley likes it that way. Charley feels he is a first-rate dog and has no wish to be a second-rate human. That provides me with solace and inspiration.

Lesson two: We don’t need to be anything but who we are. Don't try to change anyone, especially those you are caring for. Respect them for who they are.

Border collies are different than most other breeds. They've been bred to herd – they're working dogs. If you've never had a chance to watch one work, try to do so. You'll never forget it. And if you've seen them work sheep or master an agility course, you'll know what I mean when I say they are about as focused and driven as anyone you've ever seen. That obsession and focus makes border collies incredible workers. And when they don't have a job or something to occupy themselves they can be destructive.

Lesson three: Be occupied. Whatever turns you on, do it. Keep busy, keep growing. Whether it's through your work or you avocation doesn't matter. Even it's just thinking. If your mind is active, creating, or involved, that's being occupied. Encourage those you are caring for to do the same. When they're occupied, everyone is better off.

My older border collie, Bailey, was pretty much "on" all the time, even when he got old. Often he wouldn't even eat a treat until he caught it like a ball. The younger one, Skye, on the other hand, decided that she can also play. But only when the work is over. Only then will she wrestle with her friend Carly. Until she clocks out, she won't pay any attention to Carly, nor to any other dog (or human). That's when she becomes what we normally think of as a dog, not as "staff." I always wished Bailey would have learned that, although he sure was a happy guy.

Lesson four: There needs to be balance in your life. It's ok to play a little. It's okay if you don't take everything so seriously all the time, especially yourself. When caregiving, take care of yourself too. When caregiving, "play" with the person you're caring for. Enjoy each other. It'll make your time together better for both of you.

When Skye is working, she notices everything. If a leaf blows she's aware of it. She uses all her senses (and hers are so much more keen than mine) to keep track of it all. No sheep can be out of place.

Lesson five: PAY ATTENTION. How many times have you followed someone to a door and that person didn't realize you were right behind and the door closed in your face. How many times have YOU unknowingly let a door close in someone's face. It's simple, really. Know what's going on around you. Know who's around, what they're doing, what their needs are. Pretend you're on the beltway going 65 MPH. Know where all the cars are that are near you and what they're up to. Anticipate what can happen so you don't become a victim, whether it's as mundane as having a door literally slam in your face or as important as a door figuratively slam in your face, leaving you having missed an opportunity. When you're caring for someone, look for the small things, not just the biggies. Listen with all your senses, not just your ears. What does the person really need? What is she really saying?

My border collies have taught me many things, probably even more than I taught them. But the key lessons are: treat others with respect; accept others for who they are; be occupied; balance your work with play; and pay attention.