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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

Preamble

IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

Introduction

WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

Manifesto Demands

THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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August 14, 2009

God, Please Put Mike Brown On Waivers. It's An Ability Thing.

I only caught the last 10 minutes or so of Hard Knocks last night. And I wish I hadn't seen it. Watching Mike Brown sit at the front of a Georgetown classroom and act a fool confirmed all of our worst theories about how the Bengals actually are behind closed doors. I've been trying to wrap my mind around the scenario, and what I keep coming up with is that Mike Brown lives in a world of delusion. No one tells him that most of the players and ideas he brings to the team are spectactularly awful. And since no one calls him on his disabilities he just keeps on playing make believe like he did when his dad was around. Paul Brown may have done the same sort of tinkering with his team but he had decades of teaching and coaching and evaluating talent to rely on. All Mike did before he took the reins was exist as a big round flesh toned bowling ball.

This situation is so sad. Marvin had his shot at being a head coach neutered by Mikey. The first half of Carson's career is going to pass by with him only playing in one playoff game. Mike Zimmer's head is going to explode after his linebacking corp is decimated by injuries and Mike Brown tells him Brad St. Louis has good lateral quickness and a linebackin' body. And all the while two generations of football fans in Cincy are never going to know what it feels like to have confidence while rooting for their team.

Watching Mikey conduct that meeting with the coaching staff clarified any misconceptions about the lack of professionalism in the Bengals organization. The looks of disbelief on the coaches' faces when Mike was brainstormng about the tight end position was priceless. Regarding Vick...can you imagine the reaction in a conservative town like Cincinnati if Mikey HAD managed to sign Vick? Just more proof that Mikey doesn't know squat about football nor give a damn what the people in this town think.

I might be mistaken, but during the coach's party I'm pretty sure Mike Brown stuck an unopened bottle of beer in his pocket. "Saving" it for later? Or maybe planning on selling it at PBS (BIG PROFITS)? A little something to sweeten the Andre Smith deal?

How about when lippencott says i need your "special, coveted, to be guarded playbooks" and they show him when its still dark lean them up outside next to the door of i suppose one of the coaches room. Although, I guess it does'nt matter much cause no other team would want to steal what already is stale and predictable.

lets just burn that fuck at the stake... anyone down?.... im fucking tired of this shit.. i will never not love my bengals..... but for at least a year or two... can i get some fucking banwaggoning fans?, ... can i talk shit to someone else about their team before they see my bengals attire and tell me to shut the fuck up because im a bengals fan and we can only win 4.5 games a goddamn year (not to mention they were against shit teams at the end of the season).... someone please give a fuck about the people who give a fuck.....

mikey reminds me of that john dupont guy that loved being around athletes and thought of himself as being one of them, when in fact everyone else viewed him as what he really was: an insane, weird, but very wealthy man who they could only say so much to without jeopardizing their own well-being. the emperor has no clothes.