Covered Dish Suppers

After a rousing sermon on the evils of drunkenness and vice, nothing is more satisfying than gorging at an old-fashioned fundamentalist covered dish supper. (Covered dish suppers are not to be confused with the liberal “pot luck dinner” since luck has no place the fundamentalist vocabulary.)

A drop of alcohol that sneaks across ones lips (unless concealed in mouthwash and immediately spewed back out) may cause irreparable damage to one’s testimony and spiritual life but thank goodness there’s no rule against devouring four pieces of fried chicken, two helpings of mashed potatoes, three spoonfuls of that green marshmallow stuff, half a tray of deviled eggs, and a piece of pecan pie.

I used to travel with a singing group in college (not a fundy Christian college BTW) and we used to bet on how many dishes of scalloped potatoes would be at the dinner after church. One time, that’s ALL there was. About 8 dishes of SPwH.

Aw, come on, how can you possibly dis potlucks (or whatever you want to call them)?!?!?
Where else can a single guy get home cooking?
BTW, there is a big difference between a preacher who might have a big belly, and some 4-sheets-to-the-wind drunk driver!

Good sin categorizing Joe! Fundy’s are great at that. Sure, if someone is driving drunk he is able to do more harm to others and that makes his actions dangerous and sinful. However, gluttony, well, that’s just what people do…..

Fundies make such a stink about the consumption of alcohol, but hardly ever do you hear a word about gluttony! A great percentage of preachers, preacher’s wives, and church members (as well as many other Americans) are severely overweight, yet no one touches the topic of the health risks involved. If I remember correctly, the body is the temple of God. I don’t think God would stuff his temple full of double cheeseburgers every day. But, of course, there are loopholes in every Biblical message, as long as the pastor is OK with it.

One more commment: I attended PCC for a semester back in ’08 (yes, I’m ashamed to admit it). While there, I took a Bible class, and the teacher of that class admitted that the wine Jesus drank at parties was most likely alcoholic. BUT, he continued to state that Christians should not consume alcohol. When students began to raise their hands for questions about that topic, he quickly stomped out the fire and told him that the topic was not up for discussion.

My church calls it “potluck” or “covered dish supper.” I personally always say potluck because it’s easy and short. I know people say that if you believe in luck you don’t believe in God, but I still say “potluck.”

Good grief, smittykins. Do the folks not use the words “high” because of pot; “pot” (when referring to a cooking vessel) because it might refer to marijuana; “whine” because someone might confuse it with “wine”?

Now that we’re on the subject, they shouldn’t use “dish” either because it might refer to a sexy woman. That lends whole new meaning to their preferred phrase, doesn’t it?

I know I’m not the first person to notice this, but there are certain dishes that are invariably featured at Church Potlucks, as if gid himself had decreed it to be so. Of course they’re usually pretty delicious, sometimes Fundies do get it right, yum.
You will always find:
FRIED CHICKEN. That is written in stone. 😎
Ham, pineapple optional.
Baked beans (with or without bacon).
Green beans, as is or in a casserole.
Mac-n-cheese, homemade of course.
Mashed sweet potatoes.
Red rice.
Boiled red potatoes.
Something made with Cream Of Mushroom soup. (It HAS to be Cream Of Mushroom soup, using cream of chicken or celery is heresy punishable by stoning.) 👿
Some kind of pasta salad.
Ambrosia.
If you’re really lucky, someone will have made some kind of shrimp & rice hotdish, but it will always be empty by the time you reach it. 🙄
Potato chips, hurried grabbed by some lazy bachelor.
Rolls and margarine.
Cornbread (NEVER with sugar!) 👿
Banana pudding.
At least two different pies.
Something gooey with chocolate.
Brownies.
Lots and lots and LOTS of Sweet Ice Tea, and a small amount of unsweet.