my thoughts

When it comes to love and relationship some people are controlling the relationships so much that it can be hard to recognize them for what they are. There are some romantic movies and novels that are telling us that real relationships are all about obsession and that people who are truly in love have no boundaries or separate lives. Being manipulative or controlling the relationship aren’t real and true love. There are times that we thought having an abusive relationship is the only thing that matters but you don’t feel that being manipulative and controlling is a sign of unhealthy relationship.Most cases, it’s all about control and taking away your independence or freedom. Being controlled by your partner can damage to your self-esteem, make you fearful and having doubts about entering future relationships, and leave us emotional wounds that we shouldn’t have to deal with.

But there are plenty of relationships that are more one sided. A controlling man may be overprotective and to the point of unreasonable jealously or try keep a tight power with finances and be constantly telling his partner the right way to do things without ever really listening to their ideas. Early of the relationship both of you have the power or balance each others ideas. There are turning points that you won’t believe that your partner is already controlling you. How can you know that your partner is manipulative and controlling?

Disengage you from your family and friends – They don’t like your best friend and don’t think you should hang out with her anymore or they don’t want you to chit chat around with your family. They will try to turn you against anyone that you’re used to rely on for support. Their goal is to remove you off on your support network as well as your strength so that you will be less likely to stand up against them.

Makes you feel guilty all the time – They are very skilled when it comes to this part. Your partner will let you feel the guilt whenever or whatever you are going to do with or without them. Your partner makes negative comments about your friends until you start to believe that the criticisms are true. Your partner will be a snob every time you go out with your friends, until you start not to accept their dinner invitations just to stop yourself from stress.

Criticize you a lot of times – Some partners think it’s not such a big deal that he or she doesn’t like the way they dress or speak or eat or decorate their house and that they shouldn’t take it personally. They may consistently critique your decisions at work , the way you spend money , or your interests and hobbies in a way that sounds less like criticism.If every little thing you do could use improvement in your partner’s eyes, then how are you being valued as a true equal person?

They don’t know the word TRUST – People who are deeply in love are allowed to have some privacy. And a partner who doesn’t to acknowledge this isn’t being romantic at all. Your partner doesn’t have the right to check your email or messages, or have access to any of your social media passwords, just because they say they’re scared that you might cheat, or because they will say that people who are in love don’t have secrets. It’s a violation of your privacy, hand-in-hand with the unsettling message that they have no interest in trusting you and this shouldn’t be present within your relationship.

Don’t want to hear your side – You are always interrupted in every conversations, or opinions you express have been forgotten or never been acknowledged in the first place. Perhaps the conversation is always so ruled over by your partner that you can’t remember the last time they asked you a meaningful question about how you were doing and actually listened to your answer.

Making you feel unworthy – They are making you feel less attractive than they are. Even they try comparing you to their exes and sometimes their accomplishments when it comes to work, controlling people often want you to feel thankful that you are in a relationship with them. You will be more willing to work harder and harder to keep and to satisfy them. This is the goal of someone who wants to dominate a relationship.

Not only me, it can be you but all of us can fall into a controlling relationship. Don’t feel stupid about it and don’t blame yourself for being with them. Controlling relationships sneak up on us, and we can’t see them for what they are until we’re with them and we know them truly. Always remember that if you are feeling that it’s wrong in the relationship you need to let it go and just be more positive with the next one.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

” Controllers, abusers and manipulative people don’t question themselves. They don’t ask themselves if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else.”

– Darlene Ouimet

” A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends. your dreams or dignity.”

I am a SWIFTIE and I won’t deny that I am on Taylor Swift side. This post is my opinion and my feelings about the hate posts that I can see and read on the news.I will accept any comments neither bad or good.

It started when Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift broke up. A lot of people made memes about Taylor moving on so fast with Tom Hiddleston. – So, what’s wrong with moving on too fast? A lot of people do it. If an ordinary person moving on too fast we don’t have any bad comments but well she is a celebrity and a lot of people are watching her especially her love life. We don’t really know why and when did they lost their love with each other. I know that they have a 15-month relationship and that’s really good. I am a #TayVin fan but at first I was kinda disappointed that they broke up but it’s their choice and we don’t need to judge either Taylor and Calvin. Taylor is happy with Tom Hiddleston so why can’t we just shut up and stop hatin them. We can’t control their feelings for each other.

The song ” This Is What You Came For ” was written by Taylor Swift and it was confirmed by Calvin Harris – He posted it on twitter last July 13 ( Wednesday ). The first posts was fine but why do you need to drop names on the post. I just can’t understand it. Let’s say they agreed that it should keep it as a secret but as a saying goes ” There will not be uncovered secret “. Everyone will still know about it. I know that he was upset about what is happening but he shouldn’t posted it. Think before you click, Calvin. You were with her before and I know that you were both in love and it was a real love why can’t you just talk to her and not posted it on social media.

KimYe VS. Taylor Swift – Kim Kardashian started this when Calvin Harris posted last July 13. She said that she wants to defend her husband and she is calling Taylor Swift a liar because she approved the song ” Famous ” . Last Sunday, she posted on her snapchat about the revelation of the phone call ( Kanye West – Taylor Swift convo ). Social medias was exploded with a lot of hate comments and even celebrity took sides ( #TeamKimYe and #TeamTaylor ). I was hurt about the comments that I read and it wasn’t good . Both parties explained everything about the controversy.

MY FEELINGS:

This controversy is too much and massive and it can’t be control. Just like I said earlier I am still with Taylor Swift. I haven’t met her personally and never been in her concert but I still support her. Let’s say that she lied about the approving of the song but that it’s not the point why she is upset about it. On the phone call, Kanye never mentioned about ” I made that bitch famous ” and of course as a woman you don’t want someone will call you that kind of name. There are times that word is an expression but still it isn’t appropriate word. There are cuts on the video clips that we didn’t know. It’s not fully that whole conversations itself. Kim Kardashian is defending her husband but there’s a question about it : Why do they need to record the conversation? It supposed to be between the artists. Both of them are good when writing down lyrics but the words are explicit. If he is truly a friend why do you need to say ” Bitch ” . Let’s say Kanye will call Kim that what will be her reaction? Is she okay with it? If you are a real friend you don’t need to dragged other down.

Other people commented and posted ” The Snake ” emoji and make fun of Taylor Swift. Even made the #TaylorSwiftisoverparty and they are so happy about it and it will bury her career and her now. A lot of people supported ” CYBER BULLYING ” but isn’t this one of the cyber bullying situation. And also medias make it worst. More and more news that they are posting on any sites and mostly negative about it. I know that not mostly all that commented are Kanye and Kim West fans but they just hate Taylor Swift because they think she is Fake. All of us have Flaws even celebrities , famous people etc., We are not born perfect well, others think they are but it’s not.

Why can’t we just stop hating and spread love. I know that not all of you who will read it will agree but still it is true. I know that you won’t agree that it is Cyber Bullying because you are just expressing yourself but can you try to re-read your comments and think if it is nice or bad. I am not against expressing oneself but you need to think bad side and good side of it. If I will be hated or loved with what I posted in here I don’t care I just want to weigh everything and express what I feel about this controversy. I am hurt, I am upset with it. I know that I can’t please everyone. Always remember there are two sides in every story and you have to clever on which is which needs to be heard and accepted.

TO FELLOW SWIFTIES:

I know that a lot of you guys are upset about Taylor Swift lying to us but as a true swiftie we still need to be with her not physically but emotionally. The comments that you are reading against her is trying to manipulate you. Before judging her you need to read everything either bad or good news. You met her, you like her songs and even you are with her on her concerts but why suddenly change your mind and turn back against her. She isn’t perfect. She is always misjudged and make fun because she always play the victim but can’t you really see the REAL her. I am too upset with it but I am trying to understand why she did it. I just hope that you will be more broad minded and think more positive in her. She has her flaws and she isn’t perfect. If you won’t support her why are still liking her songs? Why you still have the Taylor Swift’s stuffs? I just hope that you will support her no matter what.

TO TAYLOR SWIFT:

Be strong! A lot of fans and your family and friends are always there for you. I know you are a smart woman and I know you can make it through this. I know a lot of people will dragged you down but don’t mind them. Think more of it on a positive way. People are judging you that you Fake but for me you are REAL and GENUINE. I won’t and don’t regret supporting you because I know that I’m on the right side. I know that this controversy will fade. You don’t need to explain anything and everything to others because it’s a choice. One post is enough no need to add up. I am hurt and while writing this makes me cry because I do know what you are feeling this time. Stay calm and be more positive. Focus on the brighter side and don’t be stress about it. Just like Selena Gomez song ” Kill Em With Kindness ” and I love you, Taylor ❤ ❤ ❤

I love reading blogs since then and I decided to do my own blog. Few years ago, one of my friends is a blogger and she writes about beauty and fashion since I am into it she asked me to write about my make up inspirations and nail arts. I was excited to do it but the bad thing is I gave up writing and blogging about it. I was thinking that maybe blogging is not for me because I got disappointed and I am lazy to write. Last year, I spotted my friend writing on her blog. She said that her blog is more like a journal. I mentioned that I was blogging before but I gave up my blog. She convinced me to write again but I asked her to give me ideas for my blogs. Since she knew that I am in a long distance relationship she said I try to write about it. I agreed with her and I look for a blog sites so I can maintain it. She said to try on WordPress and Blogspot but I chose WordPress and I didn’t regret my decision. Next step was the name for my blog. I tried to make at least so I can choose one . It was pinaymeetsbriton, nigelanddeelovestory and fromuktophilippineswithlove. I chose the last one because I really do feel that it fits on my blog. I started my blog last April 2015 and I introduced what my blog is about and I was happy because there are people that read and followed me. I never thought that I will be part of LDRBN. I was invited by Diana and at first I am afraid to be part of the community because I don’t consider myself a good writer and blogger. The first post that I wrote in LDRBN is in PRE-LDR prompt. I was happy because others liked it and I started chatting with some of the members and honestly, I am shy when I talk to them ( until now I think .. hahaha 😛 ) they are nice people and fun to talk to. So until now I am still here blogging about my LDR and I tried to write more on my blog and more categories on it,too.

★★★★★★★★★★

HAPPINESS IN WRITING and BLOGGING :

Being part of the LDRBN helped me a lot with my writing and blogging skills because I challenged myself to write, post , inspire and share my stories to others. I gain friends around the world and they are super nice to me ( LDRBN family and WordPress Pipz ). Just like I said I am not a good writer. I have a lot of grammar lapses especially with my sentences. But because of writing and posting on my blog I am beginning to be more conscious with my sentences and posts. I started gaining followers and almost all have the same in LDR or writing poetry. I am happy to get to know some people and ask about their relationship and stories. If I have random thoughts on my mind I tried to blog about it and it gives me idea what to write on my blog. Sharing experiences and stories can help others if they have the same feelings and experiences. These are the things that make me inspire more to write on my blog.