Airline fury as government force them to think of new way to rip-off people

Airlines, theatres and local government have reacted with fury at the reduction of charges for using credit or debit cards. "Our whole business model is based on charging £6 for things that cost us around 20p, now we've got to start again with this one."

Ryan Air are apparently thinking of investing in a machine that grabs your ankles and shakes you upside down over a tarpaulin. Or, failing that, just sticking a 38 mm Glock in your face and shouting at you until you hand over your wallet. Either way you can't say they're not trying