I can remember wanting to die since I was eight years
old.In fact, at no point in my
entire life up until just a little over a year ago, can I recall when I had ever
experienced what it was like to truly want to live.

Although I loved God as a little girl, almost everyone
in my entire family had battled severe drug-addiction and mental disorders.I believe I got the worst of them all …

Almost two years ago, God used a man named Reid who has
been living in the Texas penitentiary as long as I have been alive -- to shine
the light of Jesus on me.This man
only knew about me through my Aunt who talked to him about me constantly and has
never met me.And I would not even
be thinking about him today, if not for the miraculous …

One night, I had overdosed so severely that I felt my
life leaving me. My heart was racing out of my chest, and I began to black out.All of a sudden, I could hear a group of people whom I had never met,
praying for me, and could feel them laying hands on me.

Immediately I came to, and my heart was beating
normally, and I could breathe again.The next morning, out of the blue, I felt like calling my Aunt in Texas,
whom I had not contacted in an extremely long time.For some odd reason, I felt like I needed to ask her about Reid, her
husband in prison.I most assuredly
was NOT going to tell her about the incident the night prier, because I wouldn’t
want her to know about it.

But - the very first thing that came out of my mouth was
to tell her about everything I had experienced that night.

After I told her, she responded, “Bonnie, did you know
that just yesterday, Reid and all his prayer partners in prison were lifting you
up together to God.”I started
crying.It became clear to me
immediately who these people were that had interceded on my behalf that night …
me being a complete stranger to them.

That’s when I recalled something I had heard my Aunt say
about Reid a long time before.She
told me one day, “Bonnie, Reid may be behind bars, but he is very much a FREE
man.”

I remember asking myself, “HOW is this man FREE when he
has been behind bars as LONG as I’ve been ALIVE?!”(At that time about 33 years).“And WHY is it that I have been in the FREE world my whole life, but have
spent my entire life behind BARS?”

This question made me start to think.

Just a few months later I had been looking at myself in
the mirror.But instead of seeing
the outside reflection of “Bonnie”, I could see the INSIDE reflection of
“Bonnie”.I could NOT pass a mirror
in the house without seeing myself for what I really was.And I wanted to PUKE and break all of the mirrors!I cried out loud to God while hating myself for what I had become.“Oh my GOD!Is
THAT what I look like?!!”

At that moment, a thought was quickened to my mind.At the time, I didn’t even realize that it was actually God who brought
this forth to me.I remembered this
bogus resume that I had written some time before, while I had been extremely
high on amphetamines.I had titled
the resume: “Go-getter”.I spoke to
God, and said, “Hey God!Remember
that resume that I had written a while back?The girl I portrayed myself as on that resume actually cared about other
people more than herself, was self-motivated, inspired, creative, pleasant to be
around, and a leader.And she was a
GO-GETTER.I am NOTHING like that
girl, Lord.And who WOULDN’T hire
someone like her? She would have been an asset to any company, not a liability.God, can you make me HER?Is it POSSIBLE?”

Not long after that, I still had quite a few “pressing”
problems.I had been tormented by
the stronghold of major drug addiction for many years.I had lived as a prisoner inside my own mind for so many years that no
matter HOW many rehabs I attended or HOW long I stayed “dry”, the “stronghold”
was always still there.

Well … eventually, I began to sink into a new level of
low and complete despair, even for me. So I made a passionate and desperate plea
to God in the privacy of my own room.I told Him that if I had to get THAT low, to get THAT much lower, I was
going to commit suicide.And THIS
time, I would succeed.I could not
take living that way any longer.

I screamed at God with my fist drawn, “There is NO rehab
strong enough for me and there is NO rehab long enough!And I am NOT willing to go
back!”I even went so far as to
give God an ultimatum.And this was
on a Tuesday, mind you.I
challenged Him.“You have until
Friday to deliver me and to tell me what my purpose is on earth.Otherwise, I am exiting stage left, and You can NOT hold me against my
will any longer!”

Immediately, I took a giant leap of faith and cried out
to the Lord in complete desperation.“If you say Your Word cannot lie, and that you died for these things
years ago, then all I should have todo is tell You that I do not want it anymore, and it should be gone
yesterday!So guess what?I DON’T WANT
IT!!!

And my face streaming with tears … I lifted my addiction
up to Him in the spirit and ALLOWED Him take it off of me. I knew at that very
instant that the stronghold had been shattered!

Still … I had the problem of “mental” disorders.The truth was that I had been so severely afflicted with demonic spirits
that NO anti-psychotic pill in the entire history of medicine has ever been
invented that could have cured me from it.I remember it had gotten so bad that I went from being termed “bi-polar”
to “borderline personality” to “schizophrenic” to “multiple personalities”.It had reached to the severity that I could be talking with someone and I
would ask them what their name was, and they would reply, “Bonnie, don’t you
remember me at all?I’m “so and
so”, I talked to you for three solid hours just a couple days ago.You don’t remember?”

The truth was scary.NO, I did NOT remember.It
was as if “Bonnie” hadn’t been present at all.

I even thought that perhaps I had blasphemed the Holy
Ghost because I would literally run from praise and worship music if I heard it
playing anywhere.It would make me
cringe.In fact, I remember saying
one day, “Those ****** Christians!
I HATE them!”

I refused to even leave the house anymore, because I
knew something was wrong with me, and I knew for a fact that if I was to be
around anyone for any length of time at all, they would know it to.This is when I made another passionate plea to God. “What do I do, Lord?!Get this spirit of suicide and depression OFF of me!

And this is what He told me to do…“Praise Me!Because the devil can NOT stand in the praises of God!”But it was not just a quick “praise God.” I had to praise God for almost two DAYS solid!Just when I would begin to feel it lift, I would start crying, and sink
again.

I told my mom, “I’m not going to make it!”She said to me, “Make it through ONE more night, and God is going to lift
it off of you in the morning.”

I cried myself to sleep, but I chose to trust my mother,
that she had heard the voice of God.And the next morning when I awoke, the very first song I put on was the
song “Our God” by Chris Tomlin.This was the song I had hated to listen to the most.
But when I put it on and sang the very
first verse, the spirit of suicide and depression completely vanished.I knew that they were gone, because I could hear my OWN thoughts, and I
could hear GOD!And I
KNEW … that I was going to be okay.I KNEW at that moment that I
would not be waking up again with suicidal thoughts, depression, thoughts of
murder, or any such thing!GOD IS
PHENOMINAL!

I said to God, “There is NO way to repay You, Lord.But I would like to try!
WHAT can I do for YOU?”And, He
told me … I am doing it NOW.In fact, He did not stop speaking to me for three days!

What God took away from me, He replaced with something
better!

All the chains that had held me captive for so long have
been shattered!And the prison
doors flew open, and I was set free!PRAISE THE LORD!!And you
know what?I LOVE being free!!!That is what my SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST did for me!!And He CAN and WILL do it for YOU if you will ALLOW him to.JESUS is the ONLY one strong enough!!

May God’s face shine upon any
darkness in your life, and may He reveal Himself in great and mighty ways to you
that you have never deemed possible, as you begin to seek Him with ALL of your
heart!HE is worth it, and so are
YOU, because HE SAID SO!

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Dear Reader - are you at peace with God? If not, you can
be. Do you know what awaits you when you die? You can have the assurance
from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain. Either
Jesus Christ died for your sins, or He didn't (He
did!). Are you prepared to stand before God on the
Judgment Day and tell
Him that you didn't need
the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and
get in right-standing with God? We plead with you...please don't make such a
tragic mistake.

To get to know God, to be at
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God right now ... please click hereto help you understand the importance of being reconciled to God.
What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will
spend eternity, precious one. Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most
important decision you'll ever make in this life, because in Christ, it is
impossible to put a value on the worth of your soul in light of eternity.

We truly thank each of you who forward
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