tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074Tue, 03 Mar 2015 20:34:44 +0000societybooksrandom quarterwhatnotthe gangout and aboutgriffin inquisitionwisdomtankswritingfilmhappinessmatlock projectsbloggingwishful thinkingtelevisionsportlovetuesday topicsgriefquotes collectivemusicaggiespick tenthe weatherquirky pickingshttp://www.smartassdirect.com/noreply@blogger.com (jenn)Blogger680125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-7216516384720272552Tue, 03 Mar 2015 20:34:00 +00002015-03-03T14:34:44.696-06:00random quarterrandom quarter: the q&a edition - march<b>one. salty or sweet? </b>salty.<br /><b><br /></b><b>two. did you sleep alone last night? </b>yes.<br /><b><br /></b><b>three. what's your favorite word (right now)? </b><i>fuck</i>. always and forever.<br /><b><br /></b><b>four. who's your nemesis? </b>myself.<br /><b><br /></b><b>five. it's not a good idea to experiment with </b>people's feelings.<br /><b><br /></b><b>six. what's the last song you listened to? </b><i>new york state of mind.</i><br /><b><br /></b><b>seven. what is the last movie you rented? </b><i>the hundred foot journey.&nbsp;</i>(maybe?)<br /><b><br /></b><b>eight. what was something you wanted today but couldn't have? </b>being held by a man.<br /><b><br /></b><b>nine. where do you live? </b>conroe, texas.<br /><b><br /></b><b>ten. if you could add one hour to your day, what would you do with it? </b>sleep.<br /><b><br /></b><b>eleven. what is true? </b>i'm still in my pajamas.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twelve. what do you not want to talk about? </b>sex.<br /><b><br /></b><b>thirteen. what do you want to buy? </b>a beach vacation.<br /><b><br /></b><b>fourteen. what new activity have you tried? </b>i haven't.<br /><br /><b>fifteen. in three words describe your spirituality. </b>catholicism, astrology, mythology.<br /><b><br /></b><b>sixteen. what was the last book you read? </b><i>fangirl.</i><br /><b><br /></b><b>seventeen. the first thing i ate today was </b>club minis and coca-cola.<br /><b><br /></b><b>eighteen. jot down a news story from today. </b>netanyahu bad deal on iran.<br /><b><br /></b><b>nineteen. are you country or rock'n'roll (or hip-hop, emo, folk punk... )? </b>rock'n'roll.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty. </b>adam, blake and pharrell <b>made me laugh.</b><br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-one. who do you aspire to be like? </b>no one, lately.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-two. when was the last time you felt like you were on top of the world? </b>october third.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-three. pick a color for today. </b>gray.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-four. what inventions can you not live without? </b>music, stories, television and internet.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-five. how could today have been better? </b>more gumption. more clarity.http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/03/random-quarter-q-edition-march.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-8692848895645058690Mon, 02 Mar 2015 01:28:00 +00002015-03-01T19:39:30.473-06:00happinessthe good in my day: february<span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">the patriots beat the seahawks!!!</span></strong><strong style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: large;">sarah, yvette, caterine and tyson.&nbsp;</span><strong style="font-size: 16px;">meredith.&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: 16px;">jennifer and maureen.&nbsp;</span><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">fudrucker's.</span></strong><strong style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</strong><em><span style="font-size: x-small;">boom clap.</span></em><em style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</em><strong style="font-size: 16px;">the drive to san antonio.&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: 16px;">the riverwalk.&nbsp;</span><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">melissa.</span></strong><strong style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: large;">stephanie, becca, danny and samantha.</span><span style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</span><strong style="font-size: 16px;">kim.&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: 16px;">scot.&nbsp;</span><strong style="font-size: 16px;">dianne.&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: 16px;">melissa and scot.&nbsp;</span><strong><span style="font-size: large;">keli.</span></strong><strong style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">snickerdoodles.</span><span style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</span><strong><span style="font-size: large;">advil p.m.</span></strong><strong style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">coca-cola and hershey's milk chocolate.</span><span style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</span><strong style="font-size: 16px;">gabriel.&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">jenn, meredith, kimberly and mary.&nbsp;</span><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">mahjong.</span></strong><strong style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">bodycology pure white gardenia foaming bodywash.</span><span style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</span><strong style="font-size: 16px;">cheap trick.&nbsp;</strong><span style="font-size: 16px;">martina mcbride.&nbsp;</span><strong style="font-size: 16px;">aerosmith. </strong><span style="font-size: large;">acdc.</span><span style="font-size: 16px;">&nbsp;</span><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">grace.</span></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></strong></span><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">i love how much of the good was caused by camaraderie. that's a rare thing for me, to be able to appreciate people so well. i am so, so pleased that i could do so this month.</span></div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/03/the-good-in-my-day-february.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-7721304593975757585Wed, 25 Feb 2015 23:10:00 +00002015-02-25T17:13:42.612-06:00griffin inquisitionthe thirtieth questionthis was written a few years ago for another's blog. i'm republishing it here because the link to the original post is no longer good.<br /><br /><i>What lessons have you learned through the years?</i><br /><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Don’t play football with a bunch of boys if you’re the only girl, a pint-sized one at that. Especially when school starts in like two weeks. Especially when you’re the go-to gal on the swim team for a particular leg of a relay. You might break your collarbone. Or something. And chances are really good that you’ll be out for the whole season.</span><br /><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Run. Every day. There will come a day where you won’t be able to do this. Or want to. Relish the days you can. That high that comes afterward? That windedness? The physical exhaustion paired with that glorious tingling sensation coursing through your body? Those glutes? Those are beautiful things. You’ll miss them.</span><br /><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Speaking of muscles… When I was fourteen, I weighed seventy pounds. I had three percent body fat. Yes, three. That I was twenty pounds lighter than the norm worried my doctor and he put me on an Ensure regimen. And I ate, desperately. Burgers and pizza and pasta. Daily. To counter the three to five thousand meters I swam daily, depending on the time of year. I despised the flatness and straightness of my figure. I ogled the litheness and length, the strength of the boys on ours and the opposing teams. I studied the curvaceous and muscular figures of the girls I swam with and against. I ate. Poorly. And now, at over forty with some thirty percent body fat, I wish like hell I could say I was twenty pounds underweight. That my body was a little flatter and a lot straighter. That I could’ve, should’ve taken better care of myself.</span><br /><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Regret sucks. Do your damnedest to avoid it.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">If he matters to you—really, really matters—give the boy what he wants. Even if what he wants makes you unhappy. That unhappiness? Maybe it’ll only last a moment or two. Maybe if you don’t give him what he wants, you’ll be unhappy for a whole lot longer.&nbsp; On the flip side of that… if he’s not giving you want you want, maybe he doesn’t really matter, in which case kicking him to the curb’s a really good idea.</span><br /><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">There’s this thing called instinct. And it’s good. It generally leads you in the right direction. But don’t confuse it with temper. That’s a bad thing. It will almost always inspire you to go the wrong way. Sometimes it’s really hard to tell them apart.</span><br /><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Not every woman is destined for marriage and family. These are beautiful aspirations. Worthy. Lovely. But don’t become so obsessed with finding them that you forget to appreciate what you have. A friend told me once that she thought my disappointment with how my life has played out overshadows my witty personality and can make me appear cranky. I don’t mind the cranky. I do mind the disappointment. I mind that it casts a shadow on what makes me good. I don’t know how to shrug off that cloak. I spent my life trying to be normal when I wasn’t meant to be so.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">There are stories inside you. Don’t be afraid to tell them.</span><br /><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">And most importantly, never, NEVER get a credit card.</span>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/02/the-thirtieth-question.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-2496850453791992682Fri, 20 Feb 2015 02:51:00 +00002015-02-20T17:43:57.762-06:00tanksall i do is worryfrom the moment i wake up in the morning until i finally, finally fall asleep at night.<br /><br />i worry about the friends battling leukemia and breast cancer... or the one who had a stroke so long ago who's having to readjust again, as he's in his seventies now, to the limitations brought on by that stroke. i worry for the friends who care for these people... who love them. i worry for my parents. for my brother. for his children. for my munkle--my great uncle way up there in utah... the closet thing i've got to a grandfather... i worry he'll be leaving us soon. i worry for my friends... the ones who live so far from their families that they rarely get to see them. or the ones who work two jobs and go to school to study a subject for which they no longer care because the schooling will be over sooner and it will cost less and possibly yield a loftier paycheck in the end if they stay the course. the ones who've grown attached to a pet in a matter of days and had to put the animal down because it got sick. <br /><br />i worry that i'll disappoint my parents. that i'll be late to my hair appointment, thereby making my stylist late for every appointment after that. that i'll say something stupid or offensive or just be too loud and obnoxious. that&nbsp;i'll wreck mercy bocephus--my new-to-me car of three months or so. that i'll wreck things with this boy, who's new-to-me for a month or so. that i'll not turn all the appropriate documents over to my c.p.a. so she can calculate my taxes. that i'll just be wrong. that. i'll. just. be. wrong.<br /><br />i've a text saved in my phone. it's a list i made several years ago of the things people like about me. i updated it the other day with a text the boy had sent me: ways i make him happy so that i can keep doing those things...<br /><br />i'm pretty clumsy... with things. with people. i'm either much too careful because of it. or not careful at all.<br /><br />this morning my father asked me,&nbsp;<em>are you&nbsp;being careful with the boy?</em><br /><br /><em>sure</em>, i said. <em>yes, daddy</em>.<br /><br />and always at the back of my mind today was just how clumsy i can be. <br /><br />i told the boy my father'd warned me to be careful. that i was trying really hard not to be crazy or whatever. <br /><br />and after we'd talked, i texted him: <em>don't let me mess this up. :] okay?</em><br /><em></em><br />i got this reply: <em>jenn... relax. i don't do drama and i don't do crazy. relax.</em><br /><em></em><br />i wanted to say that you're talking to a writer: i've got a&nbsp;degree in drama and crazy. instead i just said: <em>yeah.</em><br /><em></em><br />so... the list... the text he'd sent... it goes like this:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong><span style="font-size: large;">i like your honesty and your affection. i like the way you aren't afraid to tell me you miss me and think about me. i like your sense of humor and the fact that you get&nbsp;mine. i like how considerate you are, and i think you'd be there for me if i needed something.</span></strong></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">i like you, jenn, just because you are you.</span></strong></em></div><div align="left" style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />i've read that a dozen times tonight. i worry about how long it'll take for me to change his mind.﻿<br /><br />telling me to relax is like telling water to flow up instead of down. or the sun to rise in the west and set in the east. i. don't. know. how.<br /><br /><b>i worry that the very things that make him happy now... that honesty and affection and consideration... that compassion... the very things born of that worry... the only good that comes from it... will be the very things that alienate him in the end.</b></div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/02/all-i-do-is-worry.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-1281720877271448045Tue, 17 Feb 2015 04:48:00 +00002015-02-16T23:22:04.980-06:00tankswhat we see in the darkten days or so ago, i scurried through the mall snatching up things for a trip to san antonio to see the boy (we'll call him scot because his genealogical history is scot, so... aren't i clever?). i bought new shades and a new bag and new flip-flops to show off my pretty new pedicure. i was quite the girly-girl. and then i went to the gap to see about a pair of jeans.<br /><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">tangent: must check out american eagle when i have money again because two of my coworkers have introduced me to the potential awesomeness of their denim... and every pair of jeans i own disappoints... there has to be a pair somewhere that pleases.</span></div><div><br /></div><div>i wasn't in that store for very long. i tried on one pair, and i loved the wash. i loved the length. i loved the way they made my legs look. but alas... my belly and hips are much too big. so i took them off. and then i sat there staring at the figure in the mirror before me.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">and for the first time in EVER i caught myself. <i>there's a man who thinks you're pretty hot. get the hell out of here.</i></span></b></div></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>it was really nice to be able to think that way.</div><div><br /></div><div>my family's been nagging me for some time about the size and shape of my being. i've been nagging me. i've gotten really good at it. not that the nagging's inspired me to do much more than keep track of the calories i've ingested.</div><div><br /></div><div>i stopped doing that today. i stopped because it wasn't really helping. it just made me feel more like a failure. i stopped because last night while i was on the phone with scot, bemoaning (again) the fact that i'd eaten too much (again), he said: <i>this is obsessive. </i>and then he said some shit about how i shouldn't be beating myself up for it. that if i wanted to enjoy a cheeseburger, i should be able to. that he liked my body.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>this morning, before i got out of bed, i snatched my phone up and took a selfie. a REALLY bad one. i looked awful. my face looked like it belonged to the body of a three-hundred-pound chick. i was disgusted. i deleted it. got out of bed. got dressed. felt a little better (because i'd covered myself up). but all day today i've thought <i>i wish that when i look in the mirror i could see what he sees.&nbsp;</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>and when i talked to scot this evening (now he's in lubbock. yay.) i'd told him that i wanted that. asked him if he could help with me with it. he said he could.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>if only... i don't know how he'd do it, though. there's a lot of other people's voices in my head. hundreds and hundreds of'm. how'm i gonna silence them so i can hear his one?</div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/02/what-we-see-in-dark.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-4807455986382457611Sat, 07 Feb 2015 00:58:00 +00002015-02-06T18:58:23.746-06:00random quarterrandom quarter: the q&a edition - february<b>one. who do you live with: </b>my parents.<br /><br /><b>two. on a scale of one to ten, how sad are you? why? </b>two. because i went shopping.<br /><br /><b>three. outside the weather is</b>&nbsp;getting much better.<br /><br /><b>four.&nbsp;</b><b>what are you obsessively listening to? </b>simple mind's <i>alive and kicking.</i><br /><i><br /></i><b>five. are you seeking contentment or excitement? </b>both?<br /><br /><b>six. what are three things you have to buy? </b>perfume, mouthwash, gasoline.<br /><br /><b>seven. are you in love? </b>not at the moment, but...<br /><br /><b>eight. how late did you sleep? </b>eight a.m.<br /><br /><b>nine. if this day were an animal, what would it be? </b>a kitten.<br /><br /><b>ten. how did you get to work today? </b>i didn't.<br /><br /><b>eleven. what is your biggest obstacle right now? </b>a lack of willpower.<br /><br /><b>twelve. did you kiss someone today? </b>platonically? my niece. romantically? no.<br /><br /><b>thirteen. what was the last performance or concert you went to? </b><i>into the woods.</i><br /><i><br /></i><b>fourteen. if you could change something about today, what would it be? </b>would've found jeans that fit.<br /><br /><b>fifteen. what's the most expensive thing you're wearing right now? </b>my bra.<br /><br /><b>sixteen. what word did you overuse today? </b>fuck.<br /><br /><b>seventeen. what was your prevailing emotion of the day? </b>happiness.<br /><br /><b>eighteen. today you've got too much </b>fat on this body.<br /><br /><b>nineteen. what's the last dream you remember? </b>jack tattoo on my hand.<br /><br /><b>twenty. when was the last time you were sick? </b>a few weeks ago.<br /><br /><b>twenty-one. what is your resolution for tomorrow? </b>not getting a speeding ticket.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-two. what is your favorite question to ask people? </b>what's your favorite movie?<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-three. write down the cure for a broken heart. </b>booze and time.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-four. who is the craziest person in your life? </b>me.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-five. what is the most embarrassing purchase on a recent credit card statement? </b>the&nbsp;outfield downloads from itunes.http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/02/random-quarter-q-edition-february.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-8511612572285032573Fri, 06 Feb 2015 03:50:00 +00002015-02-17T10:52:23.351-06:00happinessbecause there's a boy on my brain... againso a few weeks ago, i started seeing this dude. and i, being the ever anxious girl that i am, can't quite figure out what to think of him. he's not the sort of dude for whom i usually go. but... sometimes the boy can sway me.<br /><br />like after we'd had lunch at chili's, we sat in his s.u.v talking (among other things):<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">him: <i>what are you thinking about?</i></span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">me: <i>you.</i></span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">and?</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">me.</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">and?</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">this.</span></b></i></div><i><br /></i>and like when we went to a lakeside park after dark:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">me: <i>i like this sweater.</i></span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">him: <i>me, too.</i></span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">because it's red?</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">because you're wearing it.</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;">and like the other night, on the phone:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">me: <i>what do you think my best feature is?</i></span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">him: <i>your smile. that's the g-rated version.</i></span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">what's the r-rated version?</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">your ass.</span></b></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">him: <i>don't push me away.</i></span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">me: <i>don't let me.</i></span></b></div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/02/because-theres-boy-on-my-brain-again.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-7723349944599199751Sat, 31 Jan 2015 01:41:00 +00002015-01-30T19:50:57.270-06:00happinessthe good in my day: januaryi'm cheating and doing this a day early. because i can.<br /><div><br /></div><div><strong><span style="font-size: large;">heat.</span> </strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">my room.</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><strong>blue skies.</strong> </span>corona. <strong>football.</strong> <em>how i met your mother. </em><strong><span style="font-size: large;">meredith.</span> </strong><span style="font-size: xx-small;">facebook. </span><strong>bubble baths. </strong>the patriots beat the ravens! <strong><span style="font-size: large;">the packers beat the cowboys!!!</span> </strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">the <em>star wars </em>shirts i found at journeys.</span> <strong><span style="font-size: large;">stephanie, connor and sabrina.</span> </strong>jennifer and maureen. <strong><em><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99k3u9ay1gs">american sniper</a>.</span> </em></strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">lesley.</span> <strong>chocolate cake. </strong>the patriots beat the colts. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZxR9XHS0H8"><strong><em><span style="font-size: x-large;">the normal heart</span></em></strong></a><strong><em><span style="font-size: x-large;">.</span> </em></strong><span style="font-size: large;">gabriel and alex.</span> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><strong>the library. </strong>the bookstore.</span> <strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">the pb merch card i got from work.</span> </strong><span style="font-size: large;">rob and brandon.</span> <strong>the goose's acre.</strong> chili's. <strong><span style="font-size: large;">northshore park.</span> </strong>five guys. <strong><span style="font-size: large;">baker's street.</span> </strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">becca, taylor, june and jeni. <strong>bread and butter.</strong></span></div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/01/the-good-in-my-day-january.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-2936120134388744190Sun, 25 Jan 2015 01:51:00 +00002015-01-24T20:39:43.219-06:00whatnotforeign languagethe other day mel asked me how i would define <i>friend. </i>i'd told her i wasn't a very good one, that my definition wasn't the best. she wanted me to tell her anyway.<br /><br />i really don't know how. i had friends when i was little. kelli and i played barbie all the time. i spent a lot of time at julie's house. i met jennifer because her mother taught pre-k, and then she and i were in all the same classes after that. there was deborah and felicia and kerry and...<br /><br />then i turned eight and everything changed. and just as i was beginning to acclimate it changed again. and again. and again. and again... i never was in a place long enough to forge a friendship with anyone. so that by the time i was in my early twenties... instead of going out, i'd go to the outback or to denny's or to ihop and write. or i'd curl up with a book.<br /><br />i had acquaintances--i'd met them because they were friends with my little brother--who were in bands. i'd go to bars and hang out with them on breaks and whatnot. but i was never needed there. i'd go so far as to say i wasn't wanted there, but i loved hearing them play, and i didn't have anything better to do, so i went, knowing that they didn't give a shit that i was there, that they'd rather i not be there.<br /><br />i graduated from college. i worked. i played on my computer. i wrote. i lurked in bars where more talented, more affable folks seemed to revel in life's goodness. eventually i got tired of being a groupie. i moved to san antonio, where i lived for five years or so. i came back home. i worked. i wrote.<br /><br />i work. i write.<br /><br />i don't socialize, unless it's with the barstaff and servers at pappadeaux's (and so often i feel that they think of me like those musicians thought of me... but the physical dimensions of the bar are quite nice--the height of the thing in relation to the barstool... that kind of thing--the aesthetics of it please me, and the bartenders know how to make a drink). i don't like doing it. i'm awful at it. it's easier, so much easier to just avoid doing it.<br /><br />a friend doesn't shut people out to save herself the embarrassment of awkward interactions. she doesn't ignore people because speaking to them is too difficult. she doesn't prefer texting to talking because she can't appreciate the chattiness of a conversation. she doesn't overcompensate by talking too much. she doesn't spend her days holed up in her room because she feels the world would be better off if she weren't in it. she's not selfish. or self-absorbed. she's not lazy. or thoughtless. or demanding. she doesn't need constant affirmation that she's not annoying. she doesn't begin every paragraph with <i>i. </i>she doesn't fill your heart with sadness and angst. she doesn't quit when a thing's too challenging. she doesn't leave a friend alone at a bar because a boy's caught her attention.<br /><br />i don't know what makes a friend good. i know what makes one bad. i know that quite well.http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/01/foreign-language.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-730362188841299219Tue, 20 Jan 2015 16:58:00 +00002015-01-21T08:08:16.078-06:00whatnotbecause i've not blogged in fifteen days... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zDuDX9wJ8-8/VL6F9CkqMHI/AAAAAAAAFu4/1tsor6U0iVY/s1600/0925-Packers-Seahawks-Goodell.jpg_standard_600x400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zDuDX9wJ8-8/VL6F9CkqMHI/AAAAAAAAFu4/1tsor6U0iVY/s1600/0925-Packers-Seahawks-Goodell.jpg_standard_600x400.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div><b><br /></b><b>one. </b>that packers game. what. the. h. e. double l. all those fucking field goals. all those calls for lacy to run left. russell wilson SUCKED for like ninety-five percent of that game. the pack HAD it. i'm so pissed.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9nZvJwnVyRo/VL6GcBwvWJI/AAAAAAAAFvA/SRDiaWKM_3U/s1600/PATRIOTS-COLTS-938x535.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9nZvJwnVyRo/VL6GcBwvWJI/AAAAAAAAFvA/SRDiaWKM_3U/s1600/PATRIOTS-COLTS-938x535.jpg" height="364" width="640" /></a></div><br /><b>two. </b>deflate-gate. PATRIOTS!!! DOING YOUR JOB DOESN'T MEAN RIGGING THE GAME, DAMMIT!!! refs! if the balls weren't standard, yall should've called it DURING THE GAME not the day after. colts! you managed to score SEVEN STINKING POINTS. yall got your asses handed to you, like i knew you would; blaming it on some sorry balls JUST MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE SORRY BALLS.<br /><br /><b>three. </b>right before i fell asleep last night, my body jolted like when phineas got his ass crushed by a toyota sienna. (a fucking minivan killed my car. i'm still pissed about that, by the way. i still look for him in the parking lot.) jolted, yall. scared the crap out of me. that's some crazy shit. i felt like i'd been broadsided.<br /><br /><b>four. </b>i'm pissed about a lot of things right now. it's easier to handle the anger caused by football games and vehicular damage (things i usually can't control) than that caused by family drama, fear and failure (things i usually can).<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1_xBnIVwcwg/VL6FC3rKrsI/AAAAAAAAFuw/t9f4ZLQv6Fs/s1600/tumblr_n6awr9vOeh1rgqcm9o1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1_xBnIVwcwg/VL6FC3rKrsI/AAAAAAAAFuw/t9f4ZLQv6Fs/s1600/tumblr_n6awr9vOeh1rgqcm9o1_500.png" height="640" width="640" /></a></div><b>five. </b><em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1684226/?ref_=nv_sr_1">the normal heart</a></em>. i know. i'm REALLY late to the party. my god. what a beautifully crafted story. what a way to take rage and make something good of it. what a spectacular acting job. i'm serious, yall. those fellas did some truly remarkable work. i'm haunted by it.http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/01/because-ive-not-blogged-in-fifteen-days.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-6559612411339241676Tue, 06 Jan 2015 03:33:00 +00002015-01-08T07:56:49.497-06:00random quarterrandom quarter: the q&a edition - january<b>one. can people change? </b>no.<br /><b><br /></b><b>two. what are you reading right now? </b><i>me before you - </i>jojo moyes.<br /><b><br /></b><b>three. the best part of today? </b>watching last sunday's packers' game.<br /><b><br /></b><b>four. what was the last restaurant you went to? </b>fielding's.<br /><b><br /></b><b>five. today was tough because </b>brother's children drove me nuts.<br /><b><br /></b><b>six. today you lost </b>patience. several times.<br /><b><br /></b><b>seven. what's your favorite accessory? </b>london blue topaz ring.<br /><b><br /></b><strong>eight. where do you want to travel next? </strong>drive up california's coast.<br /><b><br /></b><b>nine. are you a leader or a follower? </b>follower.<br /><b><br /></b><b>ten. one a scale of one to ten, how was your lunch today? </b>six.<br /><b><br /></b><b>eleven. do you owe someone some money? </b>yes. <b>does someone owe you? </b>no.<br /><br /><b>twelve. what was peaceful about today? </b>watching football.<br /><b><br /></b><b>thirteen. list three foods you ate today? </b>cake, turkey sandwich, chocolate milkshake.<br /><b><br /></b><b>fourteen. are you holding a grudge? </b>yes. <b>about? </b>my brother disrespecting my space.<br /><b><br /></b><b>fifteen. what are you looking forward to? </b>a day with no responsibilities.<br /><b><br /></b><b>sixteen. are you seeking security or adventure? </b>adventure.<br /><b><br /></b><b>seventeen. do you need a break? </b>yes. <b>from what? </b>life in general.<br /><b><br /></b><b>eighteen. today you needed more </b>rest, cooperation, cleanliness, patience, kindness.<br /><b><br /></b><b>nineteen. which art movement best describes you today? </b>abstract expressionism.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty. how do you describe home? </b>tempestuous.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-one. what was the last television show you watched? </b>nfl football - sunday, december twenty-eighth.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-two. what do you want to forget? </b>a boy.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-three. who do you want to be? </b>better.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-four. what is your mission? </b>self-sufficiency.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-five. was today typical? </b>yes. <b>why or why not? </b>it's equally good and bad.http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/01/random-quarter-q-edition-january.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-3670886330421256204Sat, 03 Jan 2015 01:35:00 +00002015-01-05T20:47:35.064-06:00booksreading recap: the fifth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YAteKhh71Vk/Uso6atULPUI/AAAAAAAAErE/VGu4GERadPw/s1600/reading.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YAteKhh71Vk/Uso6atULPUI/AAAAAAAAErE/VGu4GERadPw/s1600/reading.gif" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">the ones i've read</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>landline</b></i><br /><i><b>eleanor and park</b></i><br /><b><i>the fault in our stars</i></b><br /><i><b>the language of flowers</b></i><br /><i><b>wonder</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>one day</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>redeeming love</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>i see you everywhere</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>the perks of being a wallflower</b></i><br /><i><b>just one day</b></i><br /><i><b>where she went</b></i><br /><i><b>attachments</b></i><br /><i><b>if i stay</b></i><br /><i><b>the truth about alice</b></i><br /><strong><em>love is a mix tape</em></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>dash and lily's book of dares</b></i><br /><i><b>fangirl</b></i><br /><i><b>dr. bird's advice for sad poets</b></i><br /><strong><em>meant to be</em></strong><br /><i><b>the statistical probability of love at first sight</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>the silver linings playbook</b></i><br /><strong><em>thirteen little blue envelopes</em></strong><br /><i><b>love and other perishable items</b></i><br /><i><b>stargirl</b></i><br /><i><b>persuasion</b></i><br /><strong><em>divergent</em></strong><br /><i><b>makeovers at the beauty counter of happiness</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>fifty shades darker</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><em>fifty shades of grey</em></strong><br /><strong><em>the time of my life</em></strong><br /><strong><em>insurgent</em></strong><br /><strong><em>all there is: love stories from storycorps</em></strong><br /><strong><em>the testament</em></strong><br /><strong><em>the chance</em></strong><br /><strong><em>the wit and wisdom of mark twain</em></strong><br /><strong><em>how to love</em></strong><br /><strong><em>julie and romeo</em></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>the phantom tollbooth</b></i><br /><strong><em>allegiant</em></strong><br /><i><b>this is what happy looks like</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b>fifty shades freed</b></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">the ones i'd started</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>interpreter of maladies</i></b><br /><b><i>gone with the wind</i></b><br /><b><i>the book thief</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>the help</i></b><br /><b><i>the absolutely true diary of a part-time indian</i></b><br /><b><i>this is where i leave you</i></b><br /><b><i>a stained white radiance</i></b><br /><b><i>&nbsp;if he had been with me</i></b><br /><b><i>two kisses for maddie</i></b><br /><b><i>captivating</i></b><br /><b><i>so long insecurity</i></b><br /><b><i>me before you</i></b><br /><b><i>every day</i></b><br /><b><i>the sisters mortland</i></b><br /><b><i>gates of fire</i></b><br /><b><i>anna and the french kiss</i></b><br /><b><i>crime and punishment</i></b><br /><b><i>another piece of my heart</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>the arrivals</i></b><br /><strong><em>mennonite in a little black dress</em></strong><br /><strong><em>the noticer</em></strong><br /><strong><em>maximum achievement</em></strong><br /><strong><em>rays of the dawn</em></strong><br /><strong><em>the fountainhead</em></strong><br /><strong><em><br /></em></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">the ones i (wish i could've) took back</span></b><br /><b><span style="font-size: large;">because they bored me</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div><b><i>whiskey beach</i></b><br /><b><i>just one year</i></b><br /><b><i>how to be single</i></b><br /><b><i>looking for alaska</i></b><br /><b><i>an abundance of katherines</i></b><br /><b><i>the best of me</i></b></div><div><b><i>a casual vacancy</i></b></div><div><b><i>if you could see me now</i></b><br /><strong><em>prep</em></strong><br /><b><i>lucy sullivan getting married</i></b><br /><b><i><br /></i></b>and a bunch of others whose titles i've forgotten.<br /><b><i><br /></i></b>i've decided i'm gonna keep the recap list going indefinitely.<br />right now i'm at forty-one.</div></div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/01/reading-recap-fifth.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-8962380389973259880Fri, 02 Jan 2015 04:57:00 +00002015-01-01T22:57:15.456-06:00booksfangirl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--ELNTVgZMuo/VKYlCmgINZI/AAAAAAAAFuc/TFiYv9nNn4s/s1600/16068905.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--ELNTVgZMuo/VKYlCmgINZI/AAAAAAAAFuc/TFiYv9nNn4s/s1600/16068905.jpg" height="320" width="215" /></a></div><b>why i read it: </b>because as part of the book challenge which i have undertaken, i was to select a title that was not a reread by a favorite author.<br /><b><br /></b><b>what i liked: </b><i>"he's a perfectly good boyfriend," cath would say.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"he's an end table," wren would answer.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"he's always there for me."</i><br /><i><br />"... to set magazines on."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"would you rather i dated someone like jesse? so we can both end up crying every weekend?"</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"i would rather you dated someone you'd actually like to kiss."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"i've kissed abel."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"oh, cath, stop. you're making my brain throw up."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"we've been dating for </i>three years. <i>he's my boyfriend."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"you have stronger feelings for baz and simon."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"duh, they're baz and simon, like that's even fair--i like abel. he's steady."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"you just </i>keep <i>describing an end table..." </i>(p. 35).<br /><br /><i>wren usually lost interest in a guy as soon as she'd won him over. the conversion was her favorite part. "that moment," she told cath, "when you realize that a guy's looking at you differently--that you're taking up more space in his field of vision. that moment when you know he can't see past you anymore" </i>(pp. 35-36).<br /><br /><i>"we're kids," wren said.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"not anymore. you're sophisticated young women. nobody wants to watch you unwrap gift cards" </i>(p. 160).<br /><br /><i>"i'm really good at quickly identifying the smartest girl in every class."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>cath frowned at him. "god, levi. that's so exploitive."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"how is it exploitive? i don't make them wear miniskirts. i don't call them 'baby.' i just say, 'hello, smart girl. would you like to talk to me about </i>great expectations<i>?"</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"they probably think you like them."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"i do like them" </i>(p. 172).<br /><br /><i>eventually she heard a buzz and levi walked back through the doors, holding two disposable coffee cups and balancing two boxed sandwiches on his forearms.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"turkey or ham?" he asked.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"why are you always feeding me?"</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"well, i work in food service, and my major is basically </i>grazing<i>..." </i>(p. 220).<br /><br /><i>seeing that they were scared terrified their dad. he'd go to bed and sleep for fifteen hours. he'd make an appointment with his counselor. he'd try the meds again, even if they all knew it wouldn't stick.<br /></i><br /><i>"i can't think when i'm on them," he'd told cath one night. she was sixteen, and she'd come downstairs to check the front door and found it unlocked--and then she'd inadvertently locked him out. her dad had been sitting outside on the steps and it scared her half to death when he rang the doorbell.&nbsp;</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"they slow your brain down," he said, clutching an orange bottle of pills. "they iron out all the wrinkles... maybe all the bad stuff happens in the wrinkles, but all the good stuff does, too...</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"they break your brain like a horse, so it takes all your orders. i need a brain that can break </i>away<i>, you know? i need to think</i>" (p. 224).<br /><br /><i>"i'm like him," she whispered.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"you're not," wren said.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"i am. i'm crazy like him." she was already having panic attacks. she was already hiding at parties...&nbsp;</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"you're not," wren said.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"but what if i am?"</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"decide not to be."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"that's not how it works," cath argued.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"nobody knows how it works."</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"what if i don't even see it coming?"</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>"</i>i'll<i> see it coming... if it tries to take you," wren said, "i won't let go." </i>(pp. 226-227).<br /><br /><i>"somebody else got ugg boots for christmas," reagan said, watching the dinner line empty into the dining room. "if we had whiskey, this is when we'd take a shot" </i>(p. 256).<br /><b><br /></b><b>what sucked: </b>the main character's name is cather. every time i read that, it thought <i>catheter.&nbsp;</i><br /><b><br /></b><b>having said all that: </b>this is definitely my least favorite of her books. i liked it. i did not love it. i do not want more of it.http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/01/fangirl.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-2606188559008038430Fri, 02 Jan 2015 00:33:00 +00002015-01-02T10:13:27.297-06:00happinessthe good in my day: december<strong>daddy.</strong> <span style="font-size: x-small;">sarah. <strong>mercy bocephus.</strong> iced tea.</span> <strong>pottery barn's comfort roll-arm slipcovered sofa.</strong> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">saltgrass' chicken fried steak.</span> <strong><span style="font-size: large;">jewel.</span></strong> <span style="font-size: x-large;">that the world can sometimes be so beautifully small.</span> <strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">the compliments a woman paid to my father through me.</span></strong> <span style="font-size: large;">the memory of a man.</span> <strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">that window of calm in the day, just as the sun's setting... when the world seems painless and plentiful: the dogs barking, the people laughing and loving, the daylight blushing before it pales.</span></strong> first-row parking places.<strong> cousins.</strong> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">online shopping.</span> <strong>adam.</strong> <span style="font-size: x-small;">marble slab.</span> <strong><span style="font-size: large;">the whopping sale i had at work (i've not had one of those in years).</span></strong> <span style="font-size: x-small;">the christmas card from amy. </span><strong>pappadeaux's.</strong> <span style="font-size: x-small;">the christmas card from erin.</span> <strong>shopping with dad.</strong> <span style="font-size: x-small;">the christmas card from karen.</span> <strong>lesley.</strong> kimberly. <strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">gary and kathleen.</span></strong> the shirts i found at the gap. <strong><span style="font-size: large;">the wraps i found at urban outfitters.</span></strong> fielding's. <strong><span style="font-size: large;">making the twins' christmas presents.</span></strong> <span style="font-size: large;">i took the twins the library; afterward, they wrote in the library notebooks i'd made for them what they'd checked out; it was so beautiful to sit with them while they practiced writing.</span> <strong>lindsay.</strong>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/01/the-good-in-my-day-december.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-7943089832550370186Thu, 01 Jan 2015 22:22:00 +00002015-01-01T16:28:04.709-06:00booksthe truth about alice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-EnYfBkzM1ck%2FVKXANRQQLiI%2FAAAAAAAAFuM%2FWuuNaMXziPc%2Fs1600%2F16068341.jpg&amp;container=blogger&amp;gadget=a&amp;rewriteMime=image%2F*" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EnYfBkzM1ck/VKXANRQQLiI/AAAAAAAAFuM/WuuNaMXziPc/s1600/16068341.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a><span style="text-align: left;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b style="font-weight: bold;">why i read it: </b>because in july of last year, i went to a writer's workshop presented by the author, and ever since then, i've been meaning to read her book, and when i emailed her the other day with questions about the craft and because i'd lost my notes from that workshop and needed some reminders, she took the time to compose a very kind reply.</div><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><b>what i liked: </b>kurt --&nbsp;<i>so why don't i mind living here? first, everyone leaves me alone. which is to say they ignore me. which is not as bad as it sounds. to be honest, it's really rather nice to be afforded such freedom of time and of space to read, to think, and to study, and to be left in peace. when i sit by myself in the cafeteria rereading </i>the hobbit<i>&nbsp;for the thirteenth time just because i want to, i don't look out onto the sea of faces and wish i wasn't alone. i simply acknowledge the sea exists and go back to </i>the hobbit. <i>it isn't difficult for me.</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>secondly, i haven't minded living in healy because my grandmother is a loving and caring woman who has raised me with affection and compassion.</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>lastly, alice franklin lives here.</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>alice franklin with the raspberry lips and the bad reputation and the faraway eyes </i>(pp. 34-35).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>"it's such a pleasure to teach you, to talk with you," he answered. "you have a gifted mind." he leaned back in his chair, his arms behind his head, and i could see the yellowing stains on his shirt, under his arms. if mr. becker knew they were there, he didn't seem to care. nor did he seem to care that he was almost completely bald and had pockmarks on his cheeks from bad acne, or that he had several unknowable stains on his tie.&nbsp;</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>i have a gifted mind, all right. i know enough to know that i do not want to turn out like mr. becker. and i know enough to know that to ask mr. becker about how to talk to alice would be more complicated than discussing quantum gravity </i>(p. 53).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">elaine -- <i>then my mom will take all our special weight watchers food and use a black sharpie to label it with point values and store it on one shelf in the fridge and one shelf in the cabinet, and if she's feeling totally nuts, she might even put a post-it note on the shelves that says, "mom's and elaine's special food--don't touch!" which is totally stupid seeing as how the only person who lives in the house is my dad and he wouldn't touch our special food even if it meant the healy tigers were guaranteed a winning football season for the rest of his natural life </i>(p. 59).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>what sucked: </b>it's two hundred pages, but it sometimes feels as though reading it takes as long as a book twice its length.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>having said all that: </b>it makes me SO glad i was not one of the popular kids growing up. one of the girls with whom i'd gone to elementary and junior high school... a few years ago, when discussing a particular back-to-school swimming party (that had sucked so much for me that i'd left early, walked back home and gone to my room to cry), she'd said that her friends (because she was popular) had made fun of her because her bathing suit sagged in the butt. i remembered being annoyed with her for comparing them mocking her textiles to them mocking my person... her pain seemed so insignificant next to mine. i'm a little ashamed, now, to admit that i felt that way. i know high school sucks for everybody. but i've a better appreciation for that now because of this book. and i'm so glad i was more like kurt (but not nearly as good as he... i was too embarrassed to sit alone in the cafeteria) back then than kelsie or elaine or anybody else in healy, texas. it's not a bad read. best thing i can say about it is the author does a pretty good job of making each of her characters have unique voices.</div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/01/the-truth-about-alice.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-539071756231055009Tue, 30 Dec 2014 05:39:00 +00002014-12-30T19:33:14.868-06:00writingyou should know the lingo<span style="font-family: inherit;">sometimes i think my characters are better than they are.</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />like today. today i sat at pappadeaux's bar, reading the last chapters of a book (i wasn't supposed to start reading for two more days... but i was babysitting two five-year-olds today, yall... BY MYSELF. ALL DAMNED DAY. TWO of them. have you any idea how much of a pain in the ass it is to watch TWO five-year-olds in a crowded mall? can you tell me why the hell any business in the business of photographing children would believe putting that business in a mall on the second floor between macy's children's store and the food court was a fine idea? i desperately needed some me time, okay? and the best kind of me time involves me reading about people without having to talk to any of them... if i get sick of their shit, i can snap that book shut).</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />reading today did two things... okay, fine, three things. ONE.) the similarities between the main characters of this particular novel and those of my seventeen- ... shit. eighteen-year-old story (GOD. DAMN. i suck.) were kind of crushing to my already crushed ego (like, hey, jenn, you WERE on to something here, but... this other lady managed to get up off her ass and get her story told and sold). TWO.) i feel like an abject (wretched, miserable, hopeless, pathetic, pitiful, pitiable, piteous, sorry, woeful, lamentable, appalling, atrocious, awful, contemptible, base, low, vile, worthless, degraded, despicable, ignominious, mean, unworthy, ignoble) failure.&nbsp;and THREE (but this didn't come until the very end of those chapters): screw that. I LIKE MY CHARACTERS.</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />i do. i love them. they are my children. my never-had-to-change-their-diapers-or-march-them-through-a-crowded-mall-or-hear-them-whine-when-told-they-couldn't-bring-their-darth-vader-lego-with-them-so-it-could-be-lost-whilst-running-errands children.</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />and then i got home and pulled up some blog posts involving those fictional beings i've created... and felt (again) that they're not as badassed as i think they are.</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />also... this happened today:</span><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">conversation in a bar:</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">me (because i've come across a word foreign to me and have asked one of my favored bartenders for help): <i>you're hipper than me. you should know the lingo.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">lesley: <i>i'm not hip.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">me: <i>you're hipper than me.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">lesley: <i>aren't YOU the writer? YOU'RE supposed to know the lingo.&nbsp;</i></span></div><div style="background-color: white; line-height: 15.4559993743896px; margin-bottom: 6px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><div style="background-color: white; display: inline; line-height: 15.4559993743896px; margin-top: 6px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: normal;">that's just it, though. i don't know the lingo. these people who live inside my head... i hear them speak. i feel their frustrations. i can recognize their likes and dislikes without realizing that i knew them (if that makes any sense... i don't know how else to explain it. let's just say i spent years trying to figure out what the hell kind of car august drives, that everything i thought of felt wrong. and then i found it). i've not dated any man for more than twelve months. i've no idea how to be with one. and yet i'm writing this story about these four girls and their boys. it's NOT about them being with the boys. it's about the girls ACCEPTING adulthood, part of which is choosing to be with those boys.&nbsp;</span></div></div><div><div style="background-color: white; display: inline; line-height: 15.4559993743896px; margin-top: 6px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: normal;"><br /></span></div></div><div><div style="background-color: white; display: inline; line-height: 15.4559993743896px; margin-top: 6px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: normal;">the only thing i know about boys for sure is that too few of them know how to kiss a gal.</span></div></div><div><div style="background-color: white; display: inline; line-height: 15.4559993743896px; margin-top: 6px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: normal;"><br /></span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">that tentative shit sucks. and when i say tentative, i do not mean sweet. sweet is sweet. tentative is for sissies. don't lean down and dip your tongue in her mouth like you're dipping your big toe in a potentially frigid pool of water. jump in. cannonball!</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">i'm just saying... you're laying (lying? i can NEVER remember! GAH!) on the couch, your head in his lap, watching the patriots beat up on anybody and everybody (except for maybe the packers, because i do like them, too)... that's football-watching time. that's not let's-test-the-waters time.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">you're walking from bar a to bar b with your friends when BAM! you're not walking anymore because your guy's decided that THAT moment (and you can't remember what the hell you'd said to prompt him to pick that particular moment, nor can you recall the snatch and grab, really... there's walking and then there's, well... the siege for lack of a better word. because it IS a siege of sorts), right there in the middle of the street, passersby be damned... that moment's when the kissing must be done. and for a second you don't think of anything at all because his arms are tight around you and yours are tight around him and your mouths are meshed... and this, this is how it should be done. mindless, blissful... and your guy's not afraid to jump in.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">i've known three guys who know how it should be. three. that's pretty sad. the only thing i know is that i don't want my fictional guys to be the type to test the waters. i don't want their stories to be that way. but yall, writing that? that's a whole other thing.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">and i think that ultimately, that's what my story lacks. it tests the waters. i don't know how to make it do any differently.</span></div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/12/you-should-know-lingo.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-5958913363569753271Tue, 16 Dec 2014 03:28:00 +00002014-12-16T11:29:26.747-06:00tanksthe most horrible time of the yearten days to christmas.<br /><br />once upon a time, on christmas morning, there were seven people in our house: my parents, my brothers, a sister-in-law and a close friend of the family, a man my parents have treated like a son and i have treated like a brother. seven people.<br /><br />and then there was six because one of my brothers left us.<br /><br />then there was eight because the other brother had twins.<br /><br />this christmas there will be only four in our house: a fact that feels horribly, horribly wrong.<br /><br />i'm not feeling very spirited this year. maybe that's because this fall pretty much sucked, and i'm still mentally hungover from the suckage. maybe it's because my small town isn't small anymore, and the crowds at the mall and on the roads... the me-first! and the hurry-up! and the general selfishness i see in every direction... i don't know. i just... my heart's not in it at all this year. save for my mother's gift, i did my christmas shopping online. i never do that. i wasn't even gonna send out christmas cards. and i used to love doing that.<br /><br />i don't even have great reasons to be bummed right now. i know women who are facing their first christmases without their husbands or their mothers. that's a hell i don't want to imagine.<br /><br />so today, instead of doing something practical and good like cleaning my room or doing laundry or helping my mother or taking my new used car, mercy bocephus, to the dealership to have the brakes checked, as i'd intended, i decided to go online to <a href="http://anysoldier.com/">anysoldier.com</a>&nbsp;and get an address for one of our guys overseas who maybe doesn't get much mail. the way it works is you send a letter directed to a soldier who then gets that letter to one of his soldiers who hasn't been shown the love.<br /><br />the monday after i totaled phineas, i'd gone to starbucks for a breakfast sandwich and some iced tea. i ate the sandwich on the way to the mall (i needed to stop by work to see if i could pawn shifts off so i could take care of the car business and get some giant, plastic shopping bags to empty out phinny). i hadn't touched the tea yet. i didn't park close because i was in a cadillac suv (this is what the rental company put me in... i'd told them i wanted something with two doors, and they gave me that... it drove well, but it was HUGE); i was scared i couldn't park it without hitting something. so i crossed the lot, cut across a grassy patch and promptly fell on my ass, spilling my tea everywhere. i was quite pissed off and in pain. i went to work, managed to clear my schedule 'til the weekend. and then i went to another starbucks and got them to replace my tea free of charge (which was really nice... i hadn't expected them to do that). i was feeling so hateful in that moment that i insisted on buying the order for the next woman in line. she didn't want me to. i almost started crying right there. i'd told her what had happened (the five second version, because i really didn't want to talk), that i was feeling so hateful... that i needed to do something good to counter that. so she let me. more, she hugged me. she was really sweet.<br /><br />i don't feel hateful right now. i feel alone and joyless. maybe i'm not the best person to write these boys. but i don't like thinking they feel alone and joyless. no one should have to feel that way.<br /><br />so i wrote one a nice letter and put it in the mail. it cost forty-nine cents. i felt so good for doing that that i went and bought christmas cards to send to some more soldiers. and yeah, they'll probably get them late. and i won't know what to say. but something like <i>merry christmas! happy new year! stay safe. come home. your life matters. what you do matters. thank you </i>seems good enough, yeah?http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/12/the-most-horrible-time-of-year.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-2838637499421086189Sun, 14 Dec 2014 01:22:00 +00002014-12-13T19:33:26.642-06:00random quarterrandom quarter: the q&a edition - december<b>one. on a scale of one to ten, how happy are you? </b>four.<br /><b><br /></b><b>two. do you want to know how it ends? </b>not really.<br /><b><br /></b><b>three. who do you miss? </b>my older brother.<br /><b><br /></b><b>four. what is your most recent act of generosity? </b>salvation army's angel tree gifts.<br /><b><br /></b><b>five. where do you find joy? </b>little things and the twins.<br /><b><br /></b><b>six. what's on your wish list? </b>better lives for the twins.<br /><b><br /></b><b>seven. what is your biggest regret? </b>not loving my brother better.<br /><b><br /></b><b>eight. why are you impressive? </b>generosity, compassion, intelligence, talent, resilience.<br /><b><br /></b><b>nine. moderation or excess? </b>moderation.<br /><b><br /></b><b>ten. what do you find irresistible? </b>pretty eyes, tattooes, strength, kindness.<br /><b><br /></b><b>eleven. if you had to move to a new city, where would you move? </b>don't know. somewhere near water.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twelve. what do you like to talk about? </b>fiction, film and football.<br /><b><br /></b><b>thirteen. what's your favorite cereal? </b>honeycomb/cap'n crunch/corn pops.<br /><b><br /></b><b>fourteen. write down five words that describe today. </b>heartbreaking morning... better... then best.<br /><b><br /></b><b>fifteen. on a scale of one to ten, how spontaneous were you today? </b>two.<br /><b><br /></b><b>sixteen. when was the last time you felt at peace? </b>for a second... yesterday.<br /><b><br /></b><b>seventeen. snuggle down or go out and play? </b>snuggle down.<br /><b><br /></b><b>eighteen. what details from today would you like to remember? </b>fortune parking, pleasant workday and evening.<br /><b><br /></b><b>nineteen. today you gained </b>another pound, i'm sure.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty. how ambitious do you feel today? </b>not at all so.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-one. what surprised you today? </b>getting a&nbsp;first-row parking space.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-two. if you could change one thing about today, what would it be? </b>i'd find the right words.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-three. where do you see yourself next year? </b>the same place.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-four. what is your dream vacation? </b>a beach, booze and books.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-five. list what you've eaten for the past week. </b>ice cream, steak, vegetables, junk.http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/12/random-quarter-q-edition-december.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-6110332908290093551Sat, 06 Dec 2014 00:51:00 +00002015-01-01T23:04:14.193-06:00bookswinter reading challenge<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JeYZxXFEtbA/VIJwkl21RhI/AAAAAAAAFto/WcnyKVUpSaM/s1600/10369733_10152246845848375_3458462223841298920_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JeYZxXFEtbA/VIJwkl21RhI/AAAAAAAAFto/WcnyKVUpSaM/s1600/10369733_10152246845848375_3458462223841298920_n.jpg" height="434" width="640" /></a></div><br />another reading challenge... this one's brought to you by my friend, erin. this's my third attempt with one of these this year. for the last two, i managed to only read two books apiece. i'm hoping to do better. erin's set up a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/BookChallengeByErin/">facebook group</a> for the challenge. feel free to join!<br /><b><br /></b><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>five points: any book with two hundred or more pages.</b> <i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/868436.Rays_of_the_Dawn?from_search=true">rays of the dawn</a> </i>by thurman fleet.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>ten points: one with <i>a, an </i>or <i>the </i>in the title. </b><i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/choiceawards/best-nonfiction-books-2014">the opposite of loneliness</a> </i>by marina keegan.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>ten points: any with a two-word title.</b> <i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/893735.Grown_Up_Girlfriends?from_search=true">grown-up girlfriends</a></i> by erin smalley.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>fifteen points: any animal in title. </b><i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/196613.Skinny_Bitch?from_search=true">skinny bitch</a></i> by rory freedman.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>twenty points: any whose title begins with the same letter as your name.</b><br /><i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51738.Just_Listen?from_search=true">just listen</a></i> by sarah dessen.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>twenty points: any set in europe.</b><br /><i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2728527-the-guernsey-literary-and-potato-peel-pie-society?ac=1">the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society</a></i> by mary ann shaffer.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>twenty-five points: any of <a href="http://apps.npr.org/best-books-2014/#/_">npr's recommended titles for this year</a>.</b><br /><i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20820994-i-ll-give-you-the-sun?from_search=true">i'll give you the sun</a> </i>by jandy nelson.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>thirty points: any title not-yet-read by your favorite author.</b> <a href="http://www.smartassdirect.com/2015/01/fangirl.html"><i>fangirl</i>&nbsp;</a>by rainbow rowell.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>thirty points: any by a comedian or comedic actor.</b> <i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6713071-last-words?from_search=true">last words</a></i> by george carlin.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>thirty-five points: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/692.Best_Science_Books_Non_Fiction_Only">any nonfiction work that deals with science or discovery</a>.</b><br /><i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13839.The_Botany_of_Desire?from_search=true">the botany of desire</a> </i>by michael pollan.</div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/12/erins-book-challenge.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-4168916326890310189Mon, 01 Dec 2014 16:33:00 +00002014-12-01T10:33:41.513-06:00bloggingfour fun facts... because i'm fond of lists<strong>four nicknames:</strong><br />one. prunella.<br />two. spanky.<br />three. fruitcake.<br />four. wub.<br /><br /><strong>four occupations: </strong><br />one. scanning technician.<br />two. bookseller.<br />three. editorial assistant.<br />four. gift registry specialist.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>four favored&nbsp;films: </strong><br /><strong></strong>one. <em>star wars: episode v - the empire strikes back.</em><br />two. <em>star trek </em>(2009).<br />three. <em>serenity.</em><br />four. <em>steel magnolias.</em><br /><br /><strong>four&nbsp;favored novels</strong><strong>: </strong><br />one. <em>harry potter and the halfblood prince.</em><br />two. <em>eleanor and park.</em><br />three. <em>the language of flowers.</em><br />four. <em>the fault in our stars.<strong></strong></em><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>f</strong><strong>our residences: </strong><br />one. conroe, texas.<br />two. san antonio, texas.<br />three. hawkins, texas.<br />four. houston, texas.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>four places i've vacationed: </strong><br />one. london, england.<br />two. munich, germany.<br />three. barcelona, spain.<br />four.<strong></strong>hay-on-wye, wales.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>four places i’d rather be right now: </strong><br />one. monterey, california.<br />two. rhosilli bay, swansea, wales.<br />three. natadola, fiji.<br />four. the baths, virgin gorda, british virgin islands.<br /><br /><strong>four things&nbsp;i don’t eat: </strong><br />one. oysters.<br />two. escargot.<br />three. caviar.<br />four. mushrooms.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>four of my favorite foods: </strong><br /><strong></strong>one. knorr's butter noodles.<br />two. mom's chicken noodle soup.<br />three. chicken spaghetti.<br />four. cheeseburgers.<br /><br /><strong>four favored television shows: </strong><br />one. sunday night football.<br />two.&nbsp;monday night football.<br />three. thursday night football.<br />four. whatever game's on saturday night.<br />(i'm anti-television at the moment, save for films and football)<br /><strong> </strong><br /><strong>four things i look forward to this year: </strong><br />one. the end of the holiday shopping season.<br />two. days i don't have to work.<br />three. having my own vehicle again (once i've figured out how i'm going to pay for it).<br />four. a quiet house.<br /><strong>&nbsp;</strong><br /><strong>four things i’m always saying:</strong><br />one. <em>my head hurts.</em><br />two. <em>i'm tired.</em><br />three. <em>you know what i mean?</em><br />four. <em>does that make sense?</em><br /><br />i did this post because <a href="http://texerin-in-sydneyland.blogspot.com.au/2014/12/list-17-four-fun-facts.html">erin</a> did it. erin did it because <a href="http://rainstormsandlovenotes.com/2014/11/four-facts.html">ashley</a> did it. ashley did it because... and so on and so forth...http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/12/four-fun-facts-because-im-fond-of-lists.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-3189600925124340688Mon, 01 Dec 2014 15:18:00 +00002014-12-01T09:23:07.473-06:00happinessthe good in my day: novembermy parents.<span style="font-size: x-large;"> <strong>the patriots beat the broncos!!!</strong> </span><em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dP5lJnJHXg">st. vincent</a>.</em> <strong><span style="font-size: xx-small;">more editing... but i only cut out a couple dozen pages. so eighty percent of my story is pretty damned awesome and ten percent's pretty okay (at least, i think so).</span></strong> stephanie. <strong><span style="font-size: xx-small;">forgiveness.</span></strong> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">chatting with the soldier boy.</span> <strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">the aggies beat auburn!!!</span></strong> <span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/03/chicken-spaghetti-one-my-mama-makes.html">chicken spaghetti</a>.</span> <strong>chatting with the folks at deaux's.</strong> shopping with mom. <strong>shopping for mom (clothes for the wonder twins).</strong> melissa. <strong>nick and nihar.</strong> <em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Salz7uGp72c">the theory of everything</a>.</em> <strong><a href="http://www.jcpenney.com/tops/st-john-s-bay-long-sleeve-boatneck-cable-sweater/prod.jump?ppId=pp5004710312&amp;N=4294964228&amp;pageSize=72&amp;searchTerm=st+johns+bay&amp;topDim=Product+Type&amp;topDimvalue=sweaters&amp;dimCombo=Product+Type%7C&amp;dimComboVal=sweaters%7C&amp;currentDim=Product+Type&amp;currentDimVal=sweaters&amp;catId=SearchResults&amp;_dyncharset=UTF-8&amp;colorizedImg=DP1024201420393623C.tif">st. john's bay's long-sleeved, boatneck cable knit sweaters</a> (so comfy!).</strong> <span style="font-size: large;">pottery barn kids' flannel star wars sheet set.</span> <strong>the folks at lenny's sub shop on research forest drive. </strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">the nineteenth of november was a pretty good day; my head was clear, and i didn't feel hateful.</span> <strong><span style="font-size: large;">veronica.</span></strong> friday's interview. <strong>dianne.</strong> pete's piano bar. <strong><span style="font-size: large;">kim.</span></strong> metallica. <strong>hallmark's <em>the christmas ornament</em>. </strong><span style="font-size: large;">thanksgiving dinner with the twins.</span> <strong><span style="font-size: xx-small;">black friday wasn't unbearable.</span> </strong>the couple of hours of quiet i got before work saturday. <strong>a good night's sleep.</strong>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/12/the-good-in-my-day-november.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-2538740259431866925Mon, 01 Dec 2014 04:22:00 +00002014-11-30T22:22:55.518-06:00filmthe fall film challenge: my list recap<b>one. any action/adventure flick.</b> <i>x-men: days of future past</i>. this one was pretty nifty. not the best of the x-men films, but certainly not the worst. loved quicksilver's character. loved jennifer lawrence as mystique. and i really like james mcavoy as professor x. but it was sometimes hard to follow, and i feel like some of the storyline was constructed just so the crew could show off their impressive skills at creating special effects.<br /><br /><b>two. any shot in budapest, hungary.</b> <i>a good day to die hard</i>. UGH. this film franchise needs to die. i loathed this film in the beginning. way too much of the same shit--same car chases, same chaos, same demolition... same story, really... just set in a different country. it got a little better as the film progressed, but... UGH.<br /><br /><b>three. any awarded an oscar for best cinematography. </b><i>who's afraid of virginia woolf? </i>richard burton. elizabeth taylor. god, they were beautiful to watch on the screen. not just because of their physiques... their presence was incredible. but i didn't love this movie. i know i should. i didn't like the other couple. you're not supposed to like either one, really, but... i felt sorry for burton's and taylor's characters. the other ones irritated me. and it felt long overall. maybe it was supposed to do so. i can't quite put my finger on it. i would've been okay if i'd never seen this film. i really don't know how to explain it.<br /><br /><b>four. any drama/biography/documentary.</b> <i>the judge</i>. i love robert downey, jr. i love him in this film. and robert duvall is amazing here. &nbsp;it's a good story, well-scripted and well-portrayed.<br /><br /><b>five. any awarded an oscar for best film editing. </b><i>argo</i>. i loathe ben affleck. but here, he did good. and this story... it's definitely worth watching.<br /><br /><b>six. any science-fiction/fantasy flick.</b>&nbsp;<i>brave. </i>haven't watched it. this was not an original choice.<br /><br />i think originally i'd planned to watch <i>hereafter, </i>which i did attempt to see. i watched it for maybe half an hour. but there was a scene that was too difficult for me to see, so i turned it off.<br /><br /><b>seven. any starring an actress whose last name begins with the letter g.</b><i>meet me in st. louis</i> (judy garland). i'd meant to watch this for the holiday category. i did not like it, but i LOVE the trolley song. and judy garland's voice... it's so lovely.<br /><br />originally, for this category, i'd selected <i>dallas buyer's club </i>starring jennifer garner. i watched about thirty minutes of it, but i could not stand matthew mcconaughey's character (and i know... i wasn't supposed to like him); i just could not muster any semblance of compassion for that man. i know it's something i should see. i'm aware of how important his life was, of the impact of his efforts. but i could not bring myself to finish it.<br /><br /><b>eight. any set during any holiday.</b> <i>in bruges</i>. haven't watched it. this film replaced <i>meet me in st. louis.</i><br /><i><br /></i><b>nine. any from internet movie database's top flicks list. </b><i>american history x</i>. haven't watched it.<br /><br /><b>ten. any starring an actor whose last name begins with the letter j. </b><i>lincoln </i>(tommy lee jones). i fell asleep so many times during this movie.<br /><br /><b>eleven. any starring an actress whose last name begins with the letter k. </b><i>unhook the stars</i> (moira kelly). usually i love gena rowlands. usually i love moira kelly. usually i love marisa tomei. this film is one of those rare exceptions. don't bother with it.<br /><br /><b>twelve. any shot in london, england. </b><i>sherlock holmes: a game of shadows</i>. so much of this film went over my head, just like the first one. but i enjoyed watching it.<br /><br /><b>thirteen. any awarded an oscar for best original score.</b> <i>the way we were</i>. wow. robert redford was a damned fine looking man back in the day. good god. but i could never believe that his character would go for barbra streisand's character. no way, no how.<br /><br /><b>fourteen. any adapted from any novel.</b> <i>this is where i leave you</i>. i liked this movie a lot, though there's a scene here and there that i wish hadn't been included.<br /><br /><b>fifteen. any awarded an oscar for best original screenplay.</b><i>butch cassidy and the sundance kid</i>. SO boring. SO, SO boring.<br /><br /><b>sixteen. any awarded an oscar for best picture. </b><i>driving miss daisy</i>. this movie beat out <i>dead poet's society </i>for best picture. that is a horrible, HORRIBLE crime. <br /><br /><b>seventeen. any featured on american movie classic's fifty great movie quote's list</b>. <i>national lampoon's animal house</i>. watched thirty minutes of it or so. was not amused. of those i'd begun but not yet finished, this is the only one i feel inclined to see to the end, which i will do... at some point.<br /><br /><b>eighteen. any romance or comedy.</b> <i>st. vincent</i>. LOVED the acting. bill murray is fantastic here. and i actually liked melissa mccarthy, which has never happened. but the story? meh. not so much.<br /><br />originally, i'd planned to watch <i>airplane!</i><br /><br /><b>nineteen. any sports flick. </b><i>when the game stands tall</i>. this had the potential to be a BADASS film. what an amazing story. and yes, there were definitely scenes that i found gripping. but overall, too much of the story was told with too many of the usual cliches. there are so many better sports films out there.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T-IHhFKUp0Y/VHvr6IraZAI/AAAAAAAAFtY/U3uZxL7yXBo/s1600/Lincoln-Lawyer5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T-IHhFKUp0Y/VHvr6IraZAI/AAAAAAAAFtY/U3uZxL7yXBo/s1600/Lincoln-Lawyer5.jpg" height="416" width="640" /></a></div><br /><b>twenty. any thriller or mystery.</b> <i>lincoln lawyer</i>. of the film's i've seen for this challenge, i liked this one the best. i am NOT a matthew mcconaughey fan, but here, he's impressive.<br /><br /><b>twenty-one. any starring an actor whose last name begins with the letter u. </b><i>the newton boys </i>(skeet ulrich). boring. don't bother.<br /><br /><b>twenty-two. any shot in a country you've never visited. </b><i>rush</i> (austria). niki lauda's story is wondrous, and daniel bruhl did a beautiful job portraying that man.<br /><br /><b>twenty-three. any shot in wilmington, north carolina.</b> <i>twenty-eight days</i>. i watched maybe forty-five minutes of this one, but had to turn it off. too difficult for me to see.<br /><br /><b>twenty-four. any western or war film. </b><i>fury</i>. UGH. such a waste of time and money.<br /><br /><b>twenty-five. any from american film institute's greatest american movies of all time. </b><i>a streetcar named desire. </i>this one's like <i>who's afraid of virginia woolf? </i>i'm glad i watched it, i guess. marlon brando and vivien leigh... but i would've been okay not watching it, too.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><b>final tally: </b>twenty of twenty-five films viewed.</div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/11/the-fall-film-challenge-my-list-recap.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-7620044658614580642Thu, 27 Nov 2014 04:17:00 +00002015-01-19T20:43:53.657-06:00bloggingliebster love<a href="http://texerin-in-sydneyland.blogspot.com.au/">erin</a> gave me a liebster, which was so sweet of her to do, and i am grateful. thank you, ma'am.<br /><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>one. what is your favorite memory from this year? </b>this bit from <i><a href="http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/06/the-good-in-my-day-june.html">the good in my day: june</a>.</i><br /><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 2px; line-height: 16.9400005340576px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></strong><strong style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 2px; line-height: 16.9400005340576px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">the compliment a server paid me; i don't remember the words, but they were incredibly kind observations of my character, and i almost cried because the beauty of that kindness was so welcome in that moment.</span></strong><br /><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>two. what's the best meal you've ever had? </b>dining out? the stuffed flounder at the aquarium. dining at home? <a href="http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/03/chicken-spaghetti-one-my-mama-makes.html">chicken spaghetti</a>.<br /><br /></div><div></div><div><b>three. if you could travel anywhere for one day, where would you go? </b>monterey bay, california.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>four. what is your favorite color? </b>green.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>five. what is one item on your christmas list? </b>it's the same thing every year: a good man and the courage to appreciate him. but a good man probably wouldn't want to be considered an item, so... james avery's <a href="http://www.jamesavery.com/product/Jewelry/Rings/Small-Rose-Ring/pc/2176/c/0/sc/2185/157135.uts">small rose ring</a>.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>six. what was your favorite childhood television show? </b><i>strawberry shortcake</i>.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>seven. would you rather be hot or cold? why? </b>cold. cause i can put more clothes on.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>eight. backstreet boys or n'sync? </b>n'sync.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>nine. do you wear socks to bed? </b>only in cases of extreme cold (and i realize a southeast texan's definition of extreme cold could be construed by many as mild at best).&nbsp;</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>ten. how often do you blog throughout the week? </b>well this month, prior to this post, i'd only blogged thrice. last november, i'd blogged every other day. i shoot for every three or four days.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>eleven. what is your favorite film? </b><i>dedication.</i></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>twelve. what is your favorite holiday? </b>the day football season starts.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>thirteen. if you could spend a week alone anywhere in the world, where would you go? </b>some place with a beach... like <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=beach+fiji&amp;espv=2&amp;source=lnms&amp;tbm=isch&amp;sa=X&amp;ei=C5Z2VM_1L4aJsQSWmoCwDQ&amp;ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&amp;biw=1150&amp;bih=559">fiji</a>.&nbsp;</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>fourteen. which would you choose: the house, the car or the wardrobe of your dreams? </b>the house.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>fifteen. do you blog more often in the day or at night? </b>at night, i guess.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>sixteen. coffee or tea? </b>tea.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>seventeen. if forced to only use one social networking site, which of these three do you choose: facebook, instagram, twitter? </b>facebook.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>eighteen. bath or shower? </b>bath.&nbsp;</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>nineteen. do you favor concerts, musicals, plays or art exhibits? </b>concerts.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>twenty. cats or dogs? </b>definitely dogs.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>twenty-one. do you favor reality shows, dramas, comedies or documentaries? </b>romantic comedies.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>twenty-two. do you dance, sing or play a musical instrument? </b>i sing.</div><div><br /></div><div>eleven bloggers: <i><a href="http://www.afisherswife.com/">a fisher's wife</a>, <a href="http://www.afterapriltheblog.com/">after april</a>, <a href="http://rebekaheliz.com/">rebekah elizabeth</a>, <a href="http://allthebiscuitsingeorgia.blogspot.com/">all the biscuits in georgia</a>, <a href="http://www.theumbels.com/">all you need is love</a>, <a href="http://www.avocadogroveblog.com/">avocado grove</a>, <a href="http://www.eatdrinkandbelauren.com/">eat drink and be lauren</a>, <a href="http://allieseverydayadventures.blogspot.com/">everyday adventures</a>, <a href="http://karmoose.blogspot.com/">following the compass</a>, <a href="http://www.housewifeblogger.com/">housewife blogger</a>&nbsp;</i>and<i>&nbsp;</i><a href="http://julesoutloud.blogspot.com/" style="font-style: italic;">jules out loud</a><i>. </i>should yall feel inclined to participate, choose eleven of those questions for yourselves to answer.</div></div>http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/11/a-liebster-and-liquidiation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-7704481762742087688Tue, 25 Nov 2014 01:33:00 +00002014-11-27T17:11:39.161-06:00random quarterrandom quarter: the q&a edition - novemberthere's a five-year journal called <em>q&amp;a: three hundred sixty-five questions - five years - one thousand, eight hundred twenty-five answers. </em>i found it at barnes &amp; nobles and anthropologie. it's good for road trips. it's good for these rq posts i do. this one's gonna be a little different. instead of me rambling about some subject of my choosing, i'm picking twenty-five of november's questions from this here book and anwering them with five words or less. <br /><br /><strong>one. what was something you couldn't do today? </strong>have lunch with the twins.<br /><br /><strong>two. what's your biggest expense right now? </strong>transportation.<br /><br /><strong>three. when did you last hold a baby? </strong>i don't remember.<br /><br /><strong>four. what time did you go to bed last night? </strong>nine.<br /><br /><strong>five. what are you bored talking about? </strong>sex.<br /><br /><strong>six. is there anything missing in your life? </strong>yes.<br /><br /><strong>seven. what song could be your self-portrait? </strong>indigo girls' <em>closer to fine.</em><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>eight. what do you need to vent about? </strong>family.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>nine. waking up was </strong>pleasant.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>ten. what are you obsessed with right now? </strong>fixing things potentially irreparable.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">UPDATED TUESDAY: phineas, my beloved vehicle, is in fact dead.<br />i'm quite certain i've wrecked things with someone i would've liked to at least call friend.<br />thankfully, i saw this in a college friend's facebook feed:<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GfjhbuS2roI/VHVD_wggJ-I/AAAAAAAAFsI/YBmBqbQ6LE0/s1600/10372141_850892978294793_5522165626547096309_n.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GfjhbuS2roI/VHVD_wggJ-I/AAAAAAAAFsI/YBmBqbQ6LE0/s1600/10372141_850892978294793_5522165626547096309_n.png" height="640" width="640" /></a></div><br />lately i feel a lot like pigpen. and seeing this made me think of the charlie browns in my life.<br /><br /></div><strong>eleven. which friend(s) did you last speak to? </strong>veronica.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>twelve. what is your dream job of the day? </strong>something in communications.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>thirteen. when was the last time you checked an online social network? </strong>fifteen minutes ago.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>fourteen. what do you have to get done? </strong>my room's a disaster zone.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>fifteen. what are your favorite shoes? </strong>brown docs.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>sixteen. what are you trying to do? </strong>i don't know.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>seventeen. what is your favorite brunch food? </strong>sausage, egg and cheese sandwich<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>eighteen. who have you recently deleted from your contacts/address book? </strong>i don't know.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>nineteen. how much water did you drink today? </strong>none.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>twenty. what three words describe your family? </strong>smart, odd, loving.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>twenty-one. who inspires you? </strong>currently? no one.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>twenty-two. what was the last risk you took? </strong>submitting a manuscript.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>twenty-three. what five words describe your mood? </strong>sad, shameful, frustrated, disgusted and perturbed.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>twenty-four. today you almost </strong>had lunch with the twins.<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>twenty-five. did you leave work on time? </strong>no.http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/11/random-quarter-q-edition-november.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468074.post-9011223747085938678Thu, 13 Nov 2014 23:15:00 +00002014-11-20T10:08:35.714-06:00random quarterrandom quarter<strong>one.&nbsp;</strong>my friend melissa and i attempted to watch <em>gone girl </em>tuesday. we sat&nbsp;in that theater&nbsp;for maybe twenty minutes of the show. then we walked out.<br /><b><br /></b><b>two. </b>froot loops are better than fruity pebbles.<br /><b><br /></b><b>three. </b>my first dog, a black lab, was named buckwheat.<br /><b><br /></b><strong>four.&nbsp;</strong>if given the opportunity to take a trip to anywhere i want with as many or as few people as i'd like for as long as i'd like and money is no object, i would go by myself and fly to alaska and hawaii and then i would take a nationwide roadtrip for however long it takes me to see what i want to see.<br /><b><br /></b><strong>five. </strong>i'm still descending, though the fall isn't as speedy and straight as it had been. <br /><br /><div align="right">UPDATED FRIDAY: actually i spoke too soon. apparently there's a whole other chute into hell that i was supposed to find. though this one isn't quite as vertical as the last, it's slick.<b></b></div><b><br /></b><strong>six. </strong>if a genie were to grant me three wishes i would wish for... here is where the road diverges... if i'm descending, then i would wish for love and health for my younger brother, love and health for his children, and sudden death for me (the less violent, the better)... if i am well, i would wish for love, literary representation and publication. (either way... it's selfish.)<br /><b><br /></b><strong>seven. </strong>i believe in ghosts... that it's&nbsp;entirely possible for a spirit to linger and to haunt.<br /><b><br /></b><strong>eight. </strong>i am not a huge fan of steak, but if i must eat it, i would prefer it be cooked medium well.<br /><b><br /></b><strong>nine. </strong>if i am out with my friends at a bar, i like chocolatey drinks and lately i favor a variation of a mudslide. i'm not too much a fan of the blended version... just put the liquor (an ounce of tito's vodka, an ounce of kahlua, an ounce of bailey's) and a little milk in a rocks glass,&nbsp;and i'm good. if the bartenders can't be accommodating, i'd probably get a vodka (tito's again... it's from texas, yall) tonic.<br /><b><br /></b><strong>ten. </strong>two insurance companies have determined phineas is totaled, but the dealership is saying he can be fixed, so... more waiting. i just want my car back. i can't afford a new one, and i'm kind of in love with that one. i hadn't realized a person could be in love with&nbsp;a car. and yes, i'm aware of how ridiculous that sounds.<br /><b><br /></b><strong>eleven. </strong>i don't much care for dancing.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twelve. </b>i don't much care for jalapenos, BUT there's a cheesy bread that's got those in it that i love.<br /><b><br /></b><b>thirteen. </b>my biggest achievement is existing when i'd rather be extinguished.<br /><b><br /></b><b>fourteen. </b>if i could go back in time and change something i would hold my older brother tight instead of giving him the pathetic excuse of a one-armed hug he got the last time he reached out to hug me.<br /><b><br /></b><b>fifteen. </b>i am not hungry at all and yet i can't stop munching on the stupid bag of nacho cheese doritos to my left and sipping on what is probably my fifth soda for the day (dr. pepper! yum!).<br /><b><br /></b><b>sixteen. </b>i want a new job. the other day i went to a staffing agency for assistance and was told they could not help me. when i went to a former manager and asked if i could come work for her, she was oh so reluctant. i suppose i should keep the job i have, yeah? at least i have one.<br /><b><br /></b><b>seventeen. </b>i count on my father. i wish i didn't do that quite so much as i do.<br /><b><br /></b><b>eighteen. </b>the other day i used the word <i>pervasive&nbsp;</i>correctly in a sentence; i had to ask my mother just to be sure. on the same day i had to look up the spelling for the word <i>rapport</i>; i'd been helping a friend with her resume and had forgotten how to spell it, so i googled repoire (spelled just like that). my friend suggested that maybe if i couldn't spell the word that perhaps we shouldn't use it in her resume. but i figured out how to spell it.&nbsp;<i>affect&nbsp;</i>and&nbsp;<i>effect&nbsp;</i>confuse the snot out me on a regular basis. i just thought i'd mention this in case yall were thinking i'm some linguistic genius. i'm not.<br /><b><br /></b><b>nineteen. </b>the last person in my missed calls is geico's insurance adjuster calling me about phineas.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty. </b>i am very bad about overstuffing myself and overindulging. if it's good, more's better, right?<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-one. </b>my biggest expense right now is going to be phineas' repairs. he's really messed up, yall. really messed up. so those following distances they preach about in driver's education and defensive driving... those really are crucial things.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-two. </b>the texas longhorns' football program should remain as is (pathetic) forever.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-three. </b>my dad is my hero.<br /><b><br /></b><b>twenty-four. </b>at the moment, i am stuck on needtobreathe's <i>something beautiful.</i><br /><i><br /></i><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><i>hey, now. this is my desire</i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>consume me like a fire</i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>cause i just want</i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>something beautiful</i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>to touch me</i></div><b><br /></b><b>twenty-five. </b>i don't really have a victory dance. if something goes well and i'm that excited about it, i throw my fisted hands up and lock my elbows so that my arms are straight like goal posts on a football field.http://www.smartassdirect.com/2014/11/random-quarter.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (jenn)1