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[Review] "Dragula" Season 3, Episode 3: Drag Monsters of Rock

The Boulets are hosting a wine night in their lavish apartment, which Swanthula identifies as the new safe house this year. Turns out there’s more than just Cabernet going around at this party, as we see a blood ritual that echoed a certain phrase from Karen Kilgariff…

In the boudoir the next day, the debate over who went home rages on. Evah thinks Yovska went home, while Maddelynn thinks it was St. Lucia who bought the farm. Landon chimes in in the confessional, saying he’s not impressed with Yovska. Once the realization strikes that St. Lucia went home, Priscilla lets us know once more who she had the hots for. She then changes gears and takes Maxi to task about her, as she calls it, “Three Musketeers bullshit,” and Maxi wants none of it. Maxi is a stripper and a burlesque performer, and is also non-binary, so she feels like what she presented in last week’s burlesque challenge was completely in the parameters.

For the first time in show history, a legacy challenge is given to the contestants: Monsters of Rock! The group will be divided into two bands, and each performer will create two looks. First will be a solo metal goddess presentation, then a look that will make each band look like, well, a band. One band will consist of Evah Destruction, Dollya Black, Maxi Glamour, and Priscilla Chambers. The other will be Maddelynn Hatter, Louisianna Purchase, Hollow Eve, Landon Cider, and Yovska.

After the group breaks off into their bands, Evah lays down the law for the band she is leading. She is absolutely not fucking around. The group decides on the name SLAG for their act, though the conversation quickly shifts to pads. More specifically, Maxi’s lack thereof, which Evah points out and urges her to rethink that. Blah blah, that’s how you do drag, blah.

Maddelynn’s group settles on COVEN for a band name, and to boot, they’re adding a blood ritual gimmick to the beginning of their act. They seem to be much more on the same page than SLAG does, at least for now. When the full cast comes back to the center table to get to work the next day, Dollya’s shadiness is put on blast by Hollow Eve, who says that she and Maxi have been slighted by Dollya. Dollya fires back by calling out the outright, offstage filthiness of Hollow, citing her storage of cockroaches and even used menstrual products. Hollow stands her ground on her filthiness, and by this point, KOVEN goes to the stage to rehearse their act.

While Evah is back in the boudoir, excited that her band’s act is coming together, KOVEN’s remaining members are concerned that Maddelynn may be more of a tyrant than they originally anticipated. That in mind, Hollow does lead the blood ritual, given her experience with needle and blood play. The ritual and subsequent discussions eat into rehearsal of the performance, which concerns Hollow, but at that point, it is what it is.

Dollya calls Maddelynn to the side of the boudoir to have a heart to heart. As best as can be gathered by what is said here, Dollya broke Maddelynn’s trust in her, and this had to do with something regarding Maddelynn’s sobriety. The full nature of the incident is not revealed here, and out of respect for those involved, I won’t be digging for information unless it is brought to light in the show. In any case, Maddelynn chooses to forgive Dollya and work through the trust issues.

Before the floor show kicks off, a few of the performers talk about their intentions for the looks. Evah is looking to strike a balance between Motley Crue and Aerosmith (spoiler: she totally does). Priscilla has hair way close to Jesus, and plenty of leather to boot. Louisianna clearly heard what Alaska Thunderfuck was talk-singing about, because she’s looking for leopard print and leather to come together. Landon makes the observation that getting ready is not that different between kings and queens. There’s just as much makeup and costuming, and parts are still being put away to get the intended presentation. With the sounding of the siren, the floor show is about to begin.

This week’s winner earns a custom latex outfit from Bizarre Fetish worth $1,000. The guest judges are the legendary Henry Rollins (Black Flag, Rollins Band) and the equally legendary theater queen, Peaches Christ. The solo runway is first, and I have to ding Maddelynn and Yovska for their looks not quite reading rock goddess. I enjoy what both of them bring to the stage, but within the guidelines of the challenge, they appear to have missed the mark. What I did love was Landon’s Rob Zombie impersonation, with a redonkulous spinning, pyro-shooting guitar prop. Priscilla was also great for me, with her “KISS KILL” cape, and her Wendy’s girl meets Iggy Pop styling. That’s pretty goddamn rock and roll, if you ask me.

The stunning moment in the performance was the flub-up between Hollow and Maddelynn. Hollow had needles in her face, which Maddelynn would pull out in a stunt. Apparently, Maddelynn mistimes the pull, which caused Hollow to entirely freak out and bring the show to an ass-grinding halt. Hollow wigs the absolute fuck out backstage, and while Maddelynn does acknowledge her mistake, she also holds Hollow accountable for stopping mid-show. Personally, it is hard for me to say that one is more at fault than the other. Granted, as Hollow points out, there is now a safety risk with what are now used needles with no spares. Even then, I got the feeling that this would put both Maddelynn and Hollow in the bottom. (Before we go further, shout out to The Dirty Horror for their track “Intro to Hell - The House of Whores,” which was the song for this challenge. I’ll have to check out more here soon!)

In judgment, SLAG is praised as performing as a cohesive unit, as well as for keeping the energy going throughout the act. Evah shined as lead for the band, and showed that her performance skills are not to be questioned. As for KOVEN… Hollow takes the shit for the needle faux pas, even though in confessional, Landon thinks they should both be up for extermination. Henry Rollins opts to give a slight benefit of the doubt to KOVEN, as having five people on stage creates a challenge that a four-person act like SLAG would not have.

SLAG earns their safety as a group by being the better act, and lead singer Evah takes the overall challenge win. The band leaves the stage, and now KOVEN faces the wrath of the judges. Hollow notched major points with Henry for her eyes on the solo runway. Yovska, despite being told by both Dracmorda and Peaches that she didn’t read monster, insists that she was a monster and doesn’t understand what the judges were talking about. Landon is held up as the standout by Rollins, and Maddelynn is praised for her energy as a frontwoman. In a backhanded sort of compliment, Peaches Christ calls Louisianna’s look “good bad drag,” though it is pointed out that she has been listening to the judges’ critiques, and it’s paying dividends for her.

Landon and Louisianna are spared from the proceedings, leaving Yovska, Maddelynn, and Hollow Eve as the bottom three. For extermination, another legacy moment comes into play: the impromptu tattoo! Yovska will pick Hollow’s tattoo, Hollow will pick Maddelynn’s, and Maddelynn will pick Yovska’s. The recipient may pick the location, but not the content. Before the tattooing begins, Yovska breaks down, questioning if she really belongs among the Dragula ranks. Louisianna once again plays support/mother figure, but Yovska is having a difficult time seeing things the way Miss Purchase sees it. Hollow is ranting to whomever is in earshot about her own dropping the ball and dragging her team down with her.

The final results are as follows:

Yovska: I’m A Creep

NOTE: This was Yovska’s first tattoo

Maddelynn: I Didn’t Fuck My Brother / He Fucked Me

Hollow: I’m a Filthy Bitch

Unfortunately, Yovska is eliminated from the competition, after a brief guitar strap strangulation, followed by an unceremonious braining by a broken headstock. Live by the axe, indeed.