What is the difference between a train and a teacher?
The teacher goes, "Spit that bubble gum out!" and the train goes, "Choo, choo." (Chew, chew.)

One day, a chicken walked into a library. He said, "Book, book!" and the librarian said, "I know you want a book." So she gave the chicken a book and it walked out. In two minutes he came back, got another book and went again. This happened for two days non-stop. On the third day, the librarian followed the chicken, past the zoo, past the shops, to the park and to the pond. In the middle of the pond, on a lily pad, sat a frog. The chicken offered the book to the frog saying, "Book, book," and the frog replied, "Read it, read it!!"