Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks."To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln."I linked the number of MPs to the number of votes. If you'd done a real Science degree you'd understand sticking to the point." ~ daftbeaker.

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it. The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and asks, "hey, how do you drive this thing?"

"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.-- Philip K DickOK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.-- Dr. JoyEnglish isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."

A woman walks into a bar. She says to the barman "Give me an entendre. In fact, make it a double." So the barman gives her one.

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks."To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln."I linked the number of MPs to the number of votes. If you'd done a real Science degree you'd understand sticking to the point." ~ daftbeaker.

A catholic priest, a baptist preacher, and a rabbi are all chaplains at a small, Midwest college. They get together every Friday to talk shop and drink coffee, and at one of these meetings one of them comes up with the idea that it's easy to preach to students. No, the real challenge would be to convert a bear.

So they decide to go out that weekend to find a bear to convert, and then meet back up next Friday to report. The next Friday, the catholic priest goes first. He's got a black eye, arm's in a sling. He says "Well I went a walking in the forest, and came about a brown bear. I started teaching the catechism to him, but that bear would 'ave none of that. He attacked me, and tossed me about, until a vial of me holy water came loose and splashed him. Well, then he became as gentle as a lamb. He's going to take his first communion next week."

The baptist preacher goes next. He's got two broken legs, broken arm, neck's in a brace, and he's in a wheelchair. He says "Well I didn't do any of that namby-pamby papist crap! I marched straight into dem woods, found myself a bear, and started preachin' the word of the LORD at that bear. But that bear, he ain't havin' none of it! He attacks me, and we 'rassle up one hill, and 'rassle down another, 'til we get to a stream and I dunk his head in, and baptize him in the name of the LORD! That calmed him right down. We're goin' around campus to convert heathens next week."

Last is the rabbi. He's in a full body cast, IV drip, surrounded by medical equipment. He says very weakly, "On second thought, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to start with the circumcision..."

"How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.'" - Carl Sagan

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincaré

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it. The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it. The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it. The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it. The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.