Meanwhile, the Press Complaints Commission hovers around the fringes of the whole mess like an ineffectual supply teacher at a playground gang-fight, politely asking the knife-wielding combatants to adhere to Queensberry rules.

But power is held locally by the Queen's commissioner in parliament, the Duke of Queensberry, credited with procuring Scotland's vote in favour of union.2011 Scotland, like England, is ruled by David Cameron – who at least has a good Scots name in his favour.