Taib and Najib Fighting For their lives

I thought blogging was difficult, and personally with the present comedian politics of Sarawak, with a Prime Minister spending 6 days in Sarawak, as if his life depended on it (methinks it is true), and it brought back a smile with the following comment by Iskandar Dzulkarmain. Thanks for the satire Dzul, I wish I could write like you.

Taib, why are you so apologetic?

Written by Iskandar Dzulkarnain, Malaysia Chronicle

Come on, Taib you are the Chief Minister of Sarawak, a VVIP and you do not answer to no one. So, why are you embarrassing yourself, telling Sarawakians in such crucial trying times that you intend to leave? Sarawak needs you more than ever. Don’t believe the Opposition lies. At least half of Sarawak wants you stay. The election results will show that your presence is very welcome in your own home state.

Why must you go? Who says Sarawakians don’t want you around?. Why do you keep on believing the Opposition lies? If you do believe them, then it couldn’t be a lie, could it?

Why is Najib so apologetic to Sarawakians on your behalf? Why is he telling Sarawakians that you have a succession plan? Don’t you want to stay on and rule the state till Kingdom come? He has no right to speak on your behalf. It makes us all feel jittery of the future. If you intend to go, then it makes no sense for Sarawakians to keep BN in power!

Can’t you see the illogical reasoning? If you are gone, who will fend for us? Who will give us our bread and butter? You have always been there for us. You stuck with us through thick and thin. And the Sarawak we see today was lovingly carved by your diligent hands.

Please do not let Najib pressure you. For all we know, you would probably outlive him politically. Does he know something you don’t? And why is he meddling in the affairs of state? Please stay on and help us fight the Colonizers from the West. You may not know it but many Sarawakians want you around, and this will translate into votes very soon. Those that vote against you have succumbed to the poison that Muhyiddin spoke about.

If you wanted to leave, you would have done so long before, way back in 1995. Thank God, you did not forsake us, and the sacrifices you made for the people of Sarawak will echo to the ends of the … er … Mulu Caves.

People keep on asking: “if you really intended to leave, why are you still contesting?” Please ignore these undeserving folks. They are like little children clamouring for attention.

Please don’t believe them, please don’t feel bad, and please don’t feel guilty for overstaying. Sarawak is in your hands, and you can decide who comes and goes in your beloved state. Believe me; no one really wants you to go. You have been around for so long, that people have got used to you. Whether, you did anything for us in the last 30 years is beside the point.

Your mumblings about getting the different races to unite at the confluence or something sounds very confusing. And yes, we do talk about you in the coffee-shops and longhouses, and sometimes you are the butt of jokes. But you must be proud, that at least your fame has led to wagging tongues. Topics range from corruption to nepotism, but it really doesn’t mean a thing as it is just coffee-shop talk.

We know Sarawak is a big state to govern, and even harder to develop so we really can’t blame you for our failures. At least one of us made it. You were the lucky one, with your shrewd business acumen, juggling between your duties as head of state and your vast business empire, while taking enough time of to be a loving family man. I wish more Sarawakians were like you.

We love the way you socked it to Najib, telling him off, how stupid it was to stamp serial numbers on those bibles. You single-handedly solved the Bible issue by just one phone call, and managed to get the PM to sing to your tune. A heroic deed indeed, as someone commented that you held the election in April, so that you could get your hands on those bibles before it got further desecrated, and had it returned to the rightful Sarawak Christians.

By the way, could you also get the AG to drop its appeal on the Allah Controversy as well? Christians here really find it harrowingly to mutter ALLAH’s name under their breath each time they say their prayers! Some even say they feel guilty about it! Sincerely, the Christians would love you if you can help them. Never mind PERKASA.

When the news broke out that you have officially announced your succession plan and your intention to retire from Politics, it came as a great shock especially to … all of us. That you have groomed a successor for the last 20 years, how noble and far- sighted of you. It is a pity you would not name him yet. That we can respect, because with the winds of change currently blowing, your successor may never be able to attain your glory to sit in the Chief Minister’s seat. So for now, better to keep his name secret.

But we would dearly love to know who your successor is, as you so lovingly speak of him, saying that he is not only acceptable to the people but also to BN as well. And to know that he will also be a team player is comforting.

We respect your decision that a disorderly succession does anger the people, but don’t you think 20 years to groom a successor is a long time? It may take lesser time to cycle on a bicycle to the moon and back than to wait 20 years, of course depending on how fit you are. Is it your son? Is it Alfred Jabu or George Chan? Or maybe Awang Tengah? The suspense is killing us.

However, it comes as a surprise that you have delegated some of your powers to certain ministers a couple of years ago. That the PBB leaders chosen by you to contest were not only team players, but strong winnable candidates as well is a feat. So Pakatan Rakyat, better watch out!

We understood your reluctance to leave after SUPP lost terribly in the last state elections, and your insistence to fill the gap by grooming stronger leadership to replace your once admirable administration.

After all that has been said, I am still totally confused whether you are leaving or not. Or when are you leaving? Why can’t you just get to the point and tell us a firm date?

Sarawakians will be relieved once we know. At least we can prepare our departure speeches to bid you a warm farewell and bon voyage. I am not young anymore, and I dread that I may not live long enough to see your departure. And I do not want to be gone, while you are still lurking around. Am I still talking sense?

Why, pray would I want to ask you such an odd question? Well, the fate of Barisan Nasional in Sarawak lies in your presence. Your presence may discourage many Sarawakians to come out to vote. Many are simply bored to vote the same old party. A cross on the Opposition logo sounds very tempting, and it would trigger an adrenaline rush just to be able to do something different. Do I still sound coherent?

But, please don’t go. We may miss you more than we can bear. Once you are gone, how can we ever find you again? As you know Sarawakians are not well off, and we cannot embark on long sea voyages to look for you … er … just in case we miss you. And if we do find you in the end, would you accept us as a Sarawakian compatriot? Will you extend a roof over our heads and give us shelter? Or will you continue to ignore us?

Dear Readers……If you have read thus far…you must know that I have just overdosed on my drug medication and can hardly keep my eyes open. IF readers do find any sanity in this article, you must be more insane than me.

“Please don’t go. Don’t go Away. I am begging you to stay “– the last lyrics of the song before I collapsed in deep slumber….zzzzzz