Sinclair's dream of a flying bicycle

Sir Clive Sinclair today renewed his research programme into making his dream of a flying bicycle become reality.

Speaking from his garden shed, he said: 'This bike will save a fortune in fuel, as pedal power will make it fly, and it will make no noise, thus pleasing those Heathrow twits. It will be able to be parked just about anywhere, and will fly high enough so that cyclists won't cause accidents, when they pull out without signalling.'

This is not the first invention Sir Clive has worked on, as other ideas he has previously researched - but given up on - include an underwater snooker table, a giant electric razor for mowing lawns, and an American President with intelligence. But he has hopes that this one won't be another waste of time.

The bicycle, to be nicknamed the 'flycycle', will use its pedals to turn four propellers, and it will have retractable wings and a small tail, the 'minogue'. It will take no skill to fly it, and so 'flycycle' riders are expected to regularly fly into trees, and never use their warning bells.

'This is the future', the inventor said, 'the snag is the Americans will never buy it, as it won't use 10 gallons of petrol a mile, and kill thousands of people every year. Oh well, they'd fly them on the wrong side of the air anyway!'

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