Most Glorious Apology of Our Time: Chris Brown's 'Fallaciloquences'

After Chris Brown called Raz B a "butplugged" "homothug," Raz's brother Ricky Romance threatened Chris with murder. Now Ricky's burying the hatchet, and his Jabberwock-like apology—featuring words like "fallaciloquences," "eclaircise," and "humgruffin"—is a work of art.

Ricky Romance is more famous for his feuds than he is for actual music, and for good reason. He's great at feuding. A feud savant. I have put the best terms from this open letter to Chris Brown in bold, so that Sarah Palin will have an easier time when she copies and pastes them into her next speech:

I would like to extend my most sincere apologies to the elderly and youth of our nation for my sudden acrasial message of violence towards other individuals of unimportance."

I must eclaircise any misunderstandings that I am a Man of irrational aggression and behavior.

In no way am I attempting to justify my actions towards persons of high immaturity levels and hypocritical methods of "becoming a better person," I was wrong.

At the moment I was infuriated. Please let my actions be as a lesson as what not to do. You must vastate yourself to aggression and search for other solutions before reacting.

Threatening closet coward human beings only leads their tearful plea for restraining orders, desperate cries for help from "affiliating gang bangers", and countless whiney excuses -I.E. "she hit me first!!" to the media and courts, which could possibly result unwanted circumstances.

As for the once semi high powered homosexual perverts, molesters and child rapists of the Industry, I vaticinate justice will be brought to you on Judgment Day.

I leave this to God though. Please except my apology, obviously knowing the message can always be heard if ears are around . Thank you.

- Ricky Romance

In case you were wondering, here's the "misunderstanding" Ricky is apologizing for: A video in which he addresses Chris Brown and threatens to "put a pistol in your mouth," "treat you like a little bitch," and accuses him of having sex with Omarion.