Traditional, or NASty? Chris Adiletta and Scott Pinzon ponder the differences with guest correspondent Bill Crew. After Chris headlines 2016 Isilon products and features, this contrarian whacko considers whether NASA climate data predicts a coming mini-Ice Age; then we explain how synthetic DNA turns yeast into carpets. Hidden Gems: how Isilon users can deploy the cluster monitoring tool that Isilon Support Engineers use. You Asked for It: What are the order of operations for replacing a node? Cool Commands: commands to power down properly. In What’s Making Us Happy, Scott gives The Message, and Chris finds hope for the human race. (Dreamers gotta dream.)