Low Libido & More

polygamy

My spouse and I are considering becoming polygamous. However, we have seen a number of our friends try it and then watched as their marriages fell apart and they landed in divorce court. A friend of mine said that he read a study somewhere saying that most "open" marriages end in divorce in less than five years. Do you know of any such studies?

Kevin

Dear Kevin,

Because plural marriage is illegal, reliable divorce statistics about such marriages simply do not exist. There are, however, an abundance of so-called "studies" put out by various religious groups, and by polygamists themselves, that seek to defend their respective side of the issue. It is possible that your friend read a study in a publication with vested religious interests.

As I am sure you already know, by willingly inviting others into your relationship, you are asking for potential problems. However, if you both truly believe that this is the lifestyle for you, then by all means, do what you think is right. Just keep in mind that this lifestyle may lead to divorce faster than if you and your wife tried to satisfy each other's desires together. Discuss the implications of this lifestyle thoroughly with your wife before making any rash decisions.

Donald Zimmer

the waiting game

How long should a girl wait to have sex when she first starts taking the pill?

Jim

Hi Jim,

During the first week that a girl is on the pill, I recommend that you use an additional form of contraception, such as a condom. But it is not necessary for her to wait to have sex. Assuming that you are in a monogamous relationship and don't have any STDs, after the first week, you no longer have to wear a condom.

Just keep in mind that she must take the pill every day at the same time. One missed pill can increase her chances of getting pregnant.

Donald Zimmer

risky business

My partner and I are new to anal sex, we wanted to know how safe it is if the male partner ejaculates inside the female partner during anal intercourse. Are there any risks of disease or pregnancy? Both partners are STD free. I would prefer to remain anonymous. Thanks!

Dear Anonymous,

As you must know, pregnancy occurs when a man's sperm meets a woman's egg. It is therefore not possible to impregnate a woman via anal sex. But, if the sperm finds its way into the vagina, then pregnancy can occur.

The risk of disease, however, is much higher. Even if both partners are STD free, as you and your partner are, anal bacteria can cause serious vaginal infections and cystitis. It is therefore important to wash thoroughly before entering the vagina after anal intercourse.