She is in integrity with financial agreements and understands the art of giving and receiving

She is connected with a strong, supportive, powerful network.

She cares for people, the planet and humankind.

Her body is high energy.

She knows how to take care of her body and nurtures herself.

She eats well and healthy.

She has a personal spiritual practice.

She is very free, open and adventurous.

She asks for what she wants and often gets it.

She has high impact on those who know her.

She knows how to be leader and inspire others.

She respects sacredness and is deeply connected spiritually.

See what happens?

The list of shadows and list of lights match!

Depending on what you focus on, you can look at the shadows or you can look at the lights.

In couples with lots of shadows and lots of lights, there is often lots of juice and energy!

There is substance and friction to work with.

Some shadows can become lights and some lights can become shadows.

For instance if I say that she is a explosive, that can be both light and shadow.

The emotional intensity can be something you crave for or something you resent.

A light like "She is safe and secure" can be boring in a long term relationship.

If she doesn't take risks and is non adventurous, you might get stacked.

So, safety might be a shadow.

All the shadows I mention in the first list can be seen as challenges and lights!

This means that you can perceive them as good things because they force you to improve and evolve!

So, light or shadow is a perspective you can choose.

Eventually they become just non dual qualities.

Right now, I feel that the distinction light/shadow is useful because that's the way they are often reflected in you or in society.

Spying will be a shadow for 95% of people.

A small fraction of people might be able to enjoy that specific challenge and not resent it.

In the examples I give you in this article, you see that light and shadows are really like the yin and yang Taoist symbol.

There is an access to light in every shadow and an access to shadow in every light.

Sometimes, the shadows are not that obvious and not that explosive.

They might appear in the form of boredom, predictability or energy gap.

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An interesting game to play is to make a list of your own lights and shadows.

If you are in a relationship and are ready for VITAL TRUTH, that's a game that you can play too.

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With the shadow cocktail like what I describe earlier, you might be able to master some of these aspects and be more challenged by others.

For instance you might not care about your girlfriend gossiping about you, or having some emotional explosion or attacking you or even cheating on you.

But you might be totally disarmed when you see her sad and depressed.

You might be ok with her lying to you or abusing your friends but freak out when she disconnects in a moment of weakness.

It takes some deep skills and understanding to master a shadow cocktail.

Calling it a cocktail somehow makes it fun and juicy!

I like that!

You might get it almost right one day and then fail miserably because she hits you with another shadow that you didn't see coming.

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What's fascinating as well is that you might get used to some shadows that triggered you in the beginning.

For instance you might be used to her lies or denial and find them almost cute.

You might hear her say that her ex wanted to see her when you know it's her who is seeking him.

Or she might tell you they shared a couple kisses when in fact they had sex.

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Changing or educating someone can be really tough because shadows might keep on coming in other forms.

If she's always been the shadow type, shadow energies have become her landscape and it is hard for her to shift that.

You might tackle one pattern.

For instance if she tends to lie a lot, she might stop lying to you.

But then another pattern might emerge which is way worse than the first one.

She might shift from just telling soft lies to entering in highly manipulative tactics.

Why is that?

Because shadows are first formless energies!

The patterns you see appearing are the reflection of the energy behind them.

The visible expressions of these shadows are only the visible tip of a much vaster reality.

If you tackle the pattern you tackle the symptom not the deep cause.

If you really want to tackle shadow roots, you must go deeper and focus on energies, values, deep intentions rather than surface actions and surface patterns.

Shifting deep values means activating intentions like:

"I decide to be at peace and harmony with any lover I have from now on"

"I am committed to evolve and change what no longer works"

"I open myself to be transparent and true"

"I am committed to clear communication"

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That's it for now!

Guess what?

I feel we are just getting started!

There is way more!

Enjoy!

About Unknown

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