Notice - I am not a carpenter. This project is like everything else that I do - MacGyvered using the cheapest materials and as little thought as possible. I am not responsible for anything that happens to anyone as a result of attempting to replicate this project.

As i've mentioned in previous works, growing weed is awesome. It's fun to do, and it allows YOU to determine the quality of the weed that you smoke. Thing is, growing weed is illegal. Many try, but few succeed. This is mostly due to the fact that it is difficult to hide living plants (especially indoors) for 3 months. Well, i'm finally ready to offer you a solution.

Some of you who either are or were in "the industry" have seen grow boxes. Hell, you might even own one. They're a great way to have a compact, self-contained garden. They are especially ideal for apartment dwellers who may not want to sacrfice an entire room for growing weed. There's only one problem though. Grow box producers don't exactly have discretion in mind. My aim is to give TAN "producers" a box that will allow you to grow one plant without arousing suspicion. This box will look and function more like a piece of furniture than anything else (until you open it, of course). I've tried to keep noise, power consumption and heat generation to a bare minimum while respecting your need for affordability (kind of). So off we go!

Let's begin with a simple list of the materials that you will need for this project.

- 1 of computer case fan, 120mm- 2 of batteries, 9V- 1 roll of electrical tape- 2 of alligator clips- about 6 square inches of metal sheeting- 2 of 2" long bushing, PVC (you must be able to fit the computer fan inside this bushing!!)- 1 can of black or cast iron grey paint, flat (NOT GLOSSY!)- any number of fliter solutions (more on this in part 2)

That's what you'll need for the box itself. If you're already asking why it has to be hardwood plywood, it's because softwood plywood tends to warp when constantly exposed to heat or moisture. Use softwood if you have to (it's a lot cheaper), but don't say I didn't warn you.

As for "sanded smooth," if you use regular-ass plywood, the end product will look fucking retarded. You want this to blend in with your home decor, so unless you live in a garage, get smooth plywood or sand regular plywood yourself.

Now for the interior, you can go two separate ways - the cheap way or the expensive way. The cheap way is how the box was intended to be built, but the expensive way will give you infinitely better results.

(Note - don't lecture me on the fucking spectrums - I just don't care. I used red-blue when I had to use flourescent, and I got some damned fine weed out of it. If you don't like it, use whatever the fuck you want. Tweak it with more blue in vegetative and more red in flowering if you can be bothered, but the difference TBH is negligable when you're dealing with only one plant.)

I'm not going to bother giving you a price estimate for this shit, because the prices will vary depending on where you live. I will tell you that the LED light bars can run you up to $800, but if you can afford it, buy them! It's worth the price for so many reasons.

So now it's time for two things. It's time to start building the fucking box, AND it's also time to laugh at my ridiculous drawings. An artist is one of the many things that I am not, but I hope that you get the jist of it.

First, you're going to need to modify two of the side panels. I usually pick the panel that you're planning to use as the door (easy access), and the opposite panel from the door. Drill a hole into the plywood "door" panel as far toward the bottom as you can get. The hole should be just large enough to accept the PVC bushing mentioned above.

Now do the same thing to the opposite panel, only make the hole near the top. Again, the hole must be large enough to place the bushing in. This will be your outtake, and the bushing/computer fan assembly will go in here.

Next, it's time to make the actual vents. See my retarded excuse for a drawing down there? It gives you the general idea. Basically, you're using a piece of the metal sheeting to create a light trap. The idea is that air can get through, but light cannot. I'm not going to detail the exact procedure - you can figure it out from the diagram. In fact, if you have a better idea for a light trap, go nuts. When you install the vents, obviously you'll want the bushing to be fluch with the exterior of the box.

For the outtake vent, simply insert the computer fan into the bushing. You'll have to modify the fan to fit (I used a die grinder). The fan (whether it was designed to or not) works fine when connected to the two 9V batteries. I just glue the fucking batteries to an inside wall and connect them to the fan with alligator clips. When the batteries die, rip 'em out and glue up new ones. Or tape them. Or make a little shelf inside for them, I don't care. Do whatever the fuck works for you.

Once you've made the vents, insert them into their respective holes. If they don't fit snugly, glue them the fuck in. The idea here is that the outtake at the top pushes hot air out, and cold air is drawn in through the vent at the bottom.

OK so you've modified the door panel and the panel opposite the door. Now you're ready to assemble the box. It's a fucking box - i'm sure you can handle making a fucking box without someone walking you through it. You have the screws and the wood. Figure it out.

The door (naturally) should go on last. Attach the hinges in such a way that they are not visible from outside of the box. You can add a magnet or whatever to keep the door closed. Again it doesn't matter what you use as long as it keeps the door closed.

You're eventually going to have to make another hole for cables, but this need not be done right now. Once you've set up the inside, you'll have a better idea of where the hole would be most suitable.

Now that the framework for the project is assembled, you can modify it to fit with your room decor. I painted one with that "Make It Stucco!" black spraypaint. It gives it that textured feel, and the color matched my end table set. Once I finished it, I oriented it so that the unmodified panel faced into the room with the two vent panels to one the sides. Then I draped a cloth over it (make sure it doesn't block the outtake!) and put a vase on top. To the untrained visitor, it looked like a vase stand.

In the next part, i'll go through two important steps - laying out the interior, and controlling the outtake to remove tell-tale odours. As soon as I get my wife to make the drawings, that is.

- 1 of computer case fan, 120mm - 2 of batteries, 9V - 1 roll of electrical tape - 2 of alligator clips - about 6 square inches of metal sheeting - 2 of 2" long bushing, PVC (you must be able to fit the computer fan inside this bushing!!) - 1 can of black or cast iron grey paint, flat (NOT GLOSSY!) - any number of fliter solutions (more on this in part 2)

Not a bad plan if you plan on folding your plants over, also switching to led is a great idea. Never really looked into those bulbs. Typical setup ive seen is a box that size just used for growing from seed then put into a bigger setup for changing the cycles. Hydro is awesome and easy. Only seen halides used for lighting really which tends to get hot so you need the extra height or you'll burn your leaves.

Not a bad plan if you plan on folding your plants over, also switching to led is a great idea. Never really looked into those bulbs. Typical setup ive seen is a box that size just used for growing from seed then put into a bigger setup for changing the cycles. Hydro is awesome and easy. Only seen halides used for lighting really which tends to get hot so you need the extra height or you'll burn your leaves.

i liked the blog, still think a decent size fridge is much better though, no need to explain whirring fan noise or trailing wires, also if your electronically competent you can keep the temp inside at exactly 30c, unfortunately if your busted you get done for the crop and then done for modifying a fridge which is quite a serious charge

i liked the blog, still think a decent size fridge is much better though, no need to explain whirring fan noise or trailing wires, also if your electronically competent you can keep the temp inside at exactly 30c, unfortunately if your busted you get done for the crop and then done for modifying a fridge which is quite a serious charge

"Not a bad plan if you plan on folding your plants over, also switching to led is a great idea. Never really looked into those bulbs."

More on the weed later, but yeah, you can train them so they fold over or just keep it small. like "Sea Of Green" small.

LEDs man. I wish I had them back in the day. heat output is almost nil, and energy consumption is reduced to non-retarded levels. The price could still stand to come down a bit (even HID lights are cheaper ffs).

"Typical setup ive seen is a box that size just used for growing from seed then put into a bigger setup for changing the cycles."

I had a clone in mind for this. But you did remind me that my list of equipment is incomplete - I didn't mention a timer. You need a timer.

"Only seen halides used for lighting really which tends to get hot so you need the extra height or you'll burn your leaves."

Ah, you haven't been introduced to the wonderful fully-enclosed reflector (with vent). I mentioned it on ShoutWire in an ed, but i'll recap it here eventually. Even so, using a halide in this box would be a fire hazard (ditto for HPS).

"also if your electronically competent you can keep the temp inside at exactly 30c"

If you bring your temperature down (no greater than 25C), your plants will grow faster. grow tends to slow to a crawl much higher than 28C.

Still, a fridge IS a good setup for the other reasons that you mentioned (easy climate control, etc). Provided that the fridge is in the garage or something.

"Not a bad plan if you plan on folding your plants over, also switching to led is a great idea. Never really looked into those bulbs."

More on the weed later, but yeah, you can train them so they fold over or just keep it small. like "Sea Of Green" small.

LEDs man. I wish I had them back in the day. heat output is almost nil, and energy consumption is reduced to non-retarded levels. The price could still stand to come down a bit (even HID lights are cheaper ffs).

"Typical setup ive seen is a box that size just used for growing from seed then put into a bigger setup for changing the cycles."

I had a clone in mind for this. But you did remind me that my list of equipment is incomplete - I didn't mention a timer. You need a timer.

"Only seen halides used for lighting really which tends to get hot so you need the extra height or you'll burn your leaves."

Ah, you haven't been introduced to the wonderful fully-enclosed reflector (with vent). I mentioned it on ShoutWire in an ed, but i'll recap it here eventually. Even so, using a halide in this box would be a fire hazard (ditto for HPS).

"also if your electronically competent you can keep the temp inside at exactly 30c"

If you bring your temperature down (no greater than 25C), your plants will grow faster. grow tends to slow to a crawl much higher than 28C.

Still, a fridge IS a good setup for the other reasons that you mentioned (easy climate control, etc). Provided that the fridge is in the garage or something.