Duct Tape

I was having coffee, glanced at my little table, and had a brilliant freaking thought! As you know, if you read my article, “Why” today, I was expounding the death of JonBenet. Well, I also have been watching endless episodes of “The First 48,” where homicide detectives work feverishly to develop a lead within the first forty-eight hours or their chances of solving the crime will diminish by as much as fifty percent! I noticed a common factor. The same common factor I saw in another series, “Forensic Files.” This evidence was plain in the JonBenet case. I’m surprised that our legislatures haven’t noticed it, it was there in plain sight, as I reached for my coffee it hit me. Right there on my table. DUCT TAPE! Nearly all women killed come into contact with duct tape. There is even forensics developed to analyze duct tape. When and where it was made, how sticky is is, or isn’t, and ways to lift DNA and fingerprints specifically from duct tape. I Crappith Thee NOT! Google it!

So, I don’t know the exact statistics, but I’d be willing to guess that if we could enact Duct Tape Control, we could reduce death to women by at least eighty percent! Forget gun control. Guns don’t kill people, DUCT TAPE kills people! Now, admittedly, there are some women who need duct tape, at least on their mouth, certain presidential candidates come to mind, in addition to Mothers Against The Second Amendment, but can’t you see? If a maniac cannot buy duct tape the odds of him (or her) being able to commit the crime will be greatly reduced..

Of course there will always be certain people who either have duct tape, or can get it on the black market, so that’s the more reason all duct tape should be REGISTERED! Anyone on a “No-Fly” list should be banned from ever purchasing duct tape. Just imagine all the women who’d still be with us if we’d only taken duct tape out of the hands of depraved people.

I know that some states, such as California and Colorado will most likely legalize duct tape within their borders for medical purposes, sex therapy comes to mind, and there will still be duct tape use south of the border. God knows the Cartels use a LOT of duct tape, but if we can just regulate use of it on a wide scale for law abiding citizens the murder rate will plummet! I should run for president, I really should! I’d be “Yuge!”