IM PLAYIN Agar.io – A Mindless Pass Time

We’re all used to games in which we embark on an epic quest and don the mantle of a hero, but what about those games in which we don the mantle of our very own favorite Internet meme or pop-culture figure?

Agar.io allows you to do just that, though not in the way you might expect. By naming yourself a certain way, you may roam around the grid-like map as a circle, or “cell,” bearing the portrait of Doge, Hitler, or even Sonic the Hedgehog (known as “Sanik”). You may be asking, “Alright, so what?” Well, once you see the enormous Russian flag bearing down on all the other poor, unsuspecting cells, you’ll realize that Agar.io isn’t a game you should play expecting not to have at least a little chuckle.

As a proud cell named for whatever you have in mind, your goal is to absorb all the other cells, which you do simply by moving across them. The ultimate goal is to absorb so many cells and become so massive that you take your place on the top-ten leaderboard for the server; if you aren’t into cutthroat competition and survival, however, then just play for the laughs.

One of my personal favorite circumstances is when you’ve come up with something so clever that people begin kamikaze bombing you to make you more powerful, supporting your image with hopes that they can bring you to the #1 position. I’ve been given such praise with the names “Spirit Bomb” (my cell was blue in color) and “Tumor”.

Of course, Agar.io isn’t without its frustrations. There’s nothing worse than discovering for the first time that the spiny green cells spread throughout the map can be launched toward you by other players; and suddenly, you’re nothing more than a mass of tinier cells that every other player is proceeding to converge upon to take your hard-earned lead.

A fun tactic I found, and one certainly not to end up on the other side of, was to feed people first as a gesture of friendship and then split myself in half, propelling toward them and giving them no chance for escape, having cornered them as they went in for my deceptively sweet cookie treat. Make sure that your name fits your actions for bonus points.

Overall, I’d say Agar.io is great for both those who enjoy competition and those who need something to do while on the toilet. It’s great for laughs and even greater for the chance to say that your obscure pop culture reference can indeed be appreciated somewhere, but be advised that you should watch the clock as you play, careful not to sink too much time into this game that you should probably be investing elsewhere.