Tuesday, December 2, 2014

How to Tolerate a Person With a Negative Attitude

Many times, no matter how much we endeavour, we cannot change
things for the person who insists on being bounded by their negative attitude.
Though we may try we quickly find ourselves confounded. They will only convince
themselves; any amount of cajoling on our part may simply lock them further and
further into their stubborn pride. It will do neither of us any good.

What underlies negativity is something so profound as to equal
the person’s stubbornness. The more stubborn is the negativity, the deeper and
more profound the pain possibly being masked; worry, sorrow, loneliness, fear
etc.

We tolerate the person with a negative attitude out of empathy
and because it’s wise to do so. There’s no benefit to them or us in drawing
attention to the thing that annoys us and confuses them. There’s maybe a masked
depression. Would we make it worse by agitating their inner fury? It should not
be.

Ours is to tolerate, not simply because it’s right – it’s
respectful and dignifying – but because it’s necessary. People with a negative
attitude forego much of the personal power they would otherwise have.

But they can wear us down and anger us for their petty First
World complaints. We too need some relief valve or we become susceptible,
especially those of us who (to the negative person) are annoyingly positive.
Though, it’s not our fault that we are convinced that a life of gratitude,
grace and thankfulness is the most appropriate way of living. We have been born
that way, possibly. In any event, it’s best not to over think things here.

The strong need to stay
strong if they are to be of any value to the weak.

The positive person must protect their strength, ensuring their
peace and joy emanates from the truth of the gospel.

If there is veracity to our strength then joy and peace will
follow us and they won’t depart for long when we feel occasionally estranged to
them.

If we are in a contingent relationship with the negative person,
ours is to loan them our strength and grace as space to get through petty
complaints by seeing them as they are.

***

Negative attitudes are often underpinned by unreconciled emotion
deeper down. Our negativity won’t help them in theirs. We are best to offer
them grace – which is undeserved favour – at least to a point.

Staying positive when others are trying to infuriate us is
easier than we often think it is.