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Mother’s Day 2016

Happy Mother’s Day. To the mothers I know, and the ones I don’t, you are wonderful, ethereal creatures.

My own mum will turn seventy in October of this year; and I have never valued what she is and what she does, more than I do now that I am older. With each passing year, I try harder to push the thought of her not being here, as far away as possible. It is only now that I am older and living a life child-free, that I fully appreciate the level of sacrifice, every mother on this planet makes. For my own mother, I cannot imagine a time when she will not be at the end of a whatsapp message (a fairly recent progression) or a Skype call.

She still worries about the three of us every day, and her nights are sleepless. When a woman makes a choice to be a mother, for the most part, she makes a choice to sacrifice her life for her kids. And if she didn’t, she soon realises – that’s exactly what it is.

That instinct to nurture: Never. Goes. Away.

I don’t have that in me. I never wanted to have that in me. It’s a talent and a gift and a calling and infinitely skilful; and something I would never be good at. It’s not for everyone.

No one says it’s easy, especially now, and it’s so refreshing to hear increasingly honest accounts of motherhood. The tears, the tantrums, the exhaustion, no privacy, no down time, no me time, no mummy and daddy time, the worries – about now, and the future – the extreme highs, and devastating lows, and the lifelong commitment until the grave. No-one mentions that when they’re extolling the virtues of motherhood, and telling you what you’re missing.

I am fully aware of the rewards for all this. But, the positives and negatives come in equal measures.

I live my life happy in the knowledge that I could not juggle those successfully enough to take the risk, of ‘you’ll feel differently, when it’s yours’, not working out……

mother’s (or not) ruin

And so, even though I’m not a mother, I’m going to raise my glass of mother’s ruin to all those mothers out there, who are giving and will give their lives and souls to the kids that they adore.

You are remarkable, you are awe-inspiring, you are inspirational. And at one time or another, even though it doesn’t feel like it now; your kids (like me now), will know and appreciate just exactly what you did for them, by simply taking that decision to be their mother. And caring for them with every fibre of your being, until you depart this world…..