Not right now! I’m busy doing my own thing right now and trying to advance my career. I got places to see and a person to be. There are a lot of responsibilities that come with a kid that I am just not ready for yet and I know that, which is why I’m waiting. So, these thoughts are coming from somebody who isn’t a mom and couldn’t imagine what it is like to be a parent at all.

If you’d like to hear from real Satanic parents, I recommend The Raising Hell Podcast because it is amazing. I’ve been listening to it for around a year now and I’ve loved every episode. Each of the guests Milton brings on are smart, funny, and bring amazing new insights to the world Satanic parents live in on the daily. Over the episodes I’ve come to love his kids, who he will tell stories about and will pop up from time to time because kids do what they want. The podcast has taught me a lot about parenting and Satanism, too, and what it means to be a member of the Church of Satan. His podcast is one of the reasons I decided to take the step to send in my Active Membership Application. (Thanks, guys! HS!)

WARNING: All of the views expressed in this blog are my own and I do not speak for other members of the Church of Satan, nor the Church of Satan itself!

One of the questions I’ve gotten ask as a Satanist is how I will address this issue if I have kids. First thing I say is that being a Satanist isn’t an “issue”, so it shouldn’t be approached as something negative. Since people assume “Satanism” is the equivalent of “Evil”, they use words such as “issue” because their brain is telling them that I might feel the need to hide my religion from my kids because they feel I should feel shame for being a member for the Church of Satan. I’m not. This allows the way we approach the subject of religion with a child much easier and something that shouldn’t be feared.

Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt and then my Mom holding fat me

The next thing I ask is if they would ask the same question to a Christian. The person I’m speaking to always ends up looking a little taken aback but it’s a fair question and I know the answer. It’s no. Most people assume that a Christian family will raise their children in the faith. That’s just normal and how the ideas of gods exist in the 21st century.

Then I answer their question in two parts. Will I keep Satanism secreted away from my children? No. They have a right to know something that personal about their mother. Will I raise them to be Satanists? No, because Satanists are born not made. But I will raise them to be satanic. I want them to have the confidence and self-love that comes with Satanism. There are a lot of great life lessons in Satanism and The Satanic Bible that people can use in their life even if they don’t identify as a Satanist or aren’t members of the Church of Satan. Hell, even for people who are Christian, Hindu, Islamic or any of the other ones that exist.

I won’t hide my books from my kids, but I’m also going to keep my ritual area somewhere private. That’s mostly because it is meant to be private and there’s some sharp shit involved. But if they ask me about it, I’ll answer them in a way that answers their question, but does so in a way that allows them to come to their own conclusions. I would also make sure that they are ready for the information. Kids can process information differently at different ages and maturity levels and you have to match what your telling them to where they’re at. It’s the same thing with my students. I can have the same lesson plan for my high schoolers that I do for my middle schoolers and teach it two totally different ways because they’re different age ranges.

My Grandpa being very safe with me

I’m going to love my kids no matter what and I know I’m going to screw up a lot along the way, but I hope they grow up to be good people. I want them to know they are loved and they can come to me with anything. I hope I can keep them healthy but, hell help me, kids will get sick no matter how hard you try. They’re made of germs.

I can’t wait to meet my little devils and see who they turn out to be when they grow up.

Don’t worry, it’s okay, I’m not here for sympathy. I want to, instead, just talk about it and maybe make depression seem a little less scary.

Me looking dope as shit paying RockBand

There are many reasons I could point to as to why I’m depressed, but the biggest one is biology and chemistry. My Dad suffers from depression and so does my grandma on my mom’s side. Actually, a lot of people on my mom’s side have a lot of issues. Basically, this was the way I was made and I have to live with it, which is exactly what I do. I live. I don’t mean this in the basic sense of the word such as simply breathing and eating, but I do what I enjoy and try to see life as positive– something I’m really bad at when I’m not medicated.

Oh yeah, I totally need medication. This is also, by the way, okay, because it means that you are taking the steps needed in order to focus your energy on more productive projects such as making art, furthering your career, spending more time with your family, or whatever it is you enjoy doing. If I don’t have it, I think about awful things like crashing my car into a tree on the freeway. I don’t really want to, but I think about it.

I also have anxiety. This manifests itself in the super fun way of making me sick. I finally figured out a morning/night regiment off medication that allows me to avoid getting sick usually, but it does still happen if I’m really stressed out. Basically, I wake up and just vomit for about ten minutes. It got to be so normal that I scheduled it into my routine.

Another way the anxiety and depression affects my life is through insomnia. I sometimes only get three to five hours of sleep each night, feeling exhausted all through the day, before finally waking up at night and not being able to fall asleep until three in the morning. In order to help myself fall asleep, I eat a bowl of oatmeal, have a small drink, and watch some Bob Ross. It may sound hokey, but it works for me.

Crazy Hair Day in… 5th grade?

If I do end up being able to fall asleep, I may end up waking up in the middle of the night due to night terrors from PTSD. Here’s the basic rundown of that: My mom and dad met and got pregnant with me so they got married, had me, and divorced. Dad had many girlfriends but never remarried. Mom didn’t either but she only had one really longterm partner. Let’s call him Greg. Greg is the father of my little brother and little sister, both half siblings, and I love them so much it hurts. Well, he mentally, physically, and emotionally abused me for 17 years. After my Dad moved back to Washington from Wyoming, Mom left Greg (not because of this, just a happy accident). My Mom and Dad, after a long few years of drama with Greg, including Greg causing my Dad to get fired, my parents got remarried. It sounds great, but it’s been strange and we are all still learning.

All in all, my life hasn’t been easy, but damn it could make a movie. I’m not sad about anything that happened in my life, nor would I change anything, and I think that may be one of the reasons I’m a Satanist. I use my hardships to create strength and knowledge. I want to change the world because of what I went through. Mental Health is really important to me because I’ve been unable to access it before and life was really hard to get through. But I did it.

My first MySpace profile picture vs Now

But look at me now! I’m a teacher and a professional lighting designer who just turned 24 years old. I am living with the love of my life and have two cats who are as dear to me as children. I have crazy hair! I have a loving family and a bed to sleep in and food to eat, should I ever get off the couch today.

I wouldn’t change a thing about my past, or anything about me, because I like who I am now, and that’s all that matters.

It’s called Always… Patsy Cline and it’s at a really cute little venue about an hour away from where I live. It’s a very country-artistic place that has live music downstairs and puts on concerts and plays in the loft of the barn the bar calls home.

A shot of the lighting

Well, I just saw something really cool: somebody crying. This might not seem AMAZING, but it is for me because I’m the lighting designer and operator, so seeing this emotions means I’m doing my job correctly.

Basically, if my lights were bad, people wouldn’t like the show or wpuld be distracted. Plus, if I’m really bad at my job, I wpils end up making the actors look weird, which would lower the quality.

Ah Friday the 13th, a date that strikes terror into the superstitious, and even those who are normally skeptical. I hear people who normally would scoff at those who avoid walking under ladders suddenly start blaming traffic on the date. So what is it about Friday the 13th that makes everybody lose their shit?

The Last Supper

Well, one of the reasons comes from the Bible. It seems that Christianity thinks that the number 13 is a bad omen since there were 13 guests at dinner and one of those guests, Judas, betrayed Jesus and getting him nailed up. The crucifixion allegedly happened on a Friday. Other major Christian events, such as Cain killing Abel and Eve getting Adam the apple, also happened on a Friday.

On Friday the 13th specifically, there have been a few atrocities that have captured the eye of the easily manipulated and irrational. In 1307, French King Philip the IV rounded up the Knights Templar, a religious and military power charged with defending the Holy Land, so that the King could access their finances.

These stories, along with their uncontrollable persistence of Christians to attempt to inject their beliefs into the lives of people who didn’t ask for it, cause the general public to go around believing that there is something evil about the date.

Other, non-religious, events that people point to as evidence are the killing of Tupac; the crash of an Italian cruise ship that killed 30 people; a bombing at Buckingham Palace; and a cyclone in Bangladesh that killed 300,000 people. These are just some of the occurrences that cause some to believe that the date is cursed.

A Statue rests at the bottom of a lake in Minnesota

Another reason people get the creeps about the date comes from pop culture and the rise of Jason Voorhees. What could be scarier than an immortal killer that busts through walls and rises from a lake to commit murder each Friday the 13th? Well, a lot, but Jason is one of the most recognizable horror icons of the age.

While I don’t think people actually believe that Jason Voorhees is going to bust through their door in the middle of the night and slash their throats, I do think they may make it a tradition to watch the movies. This is something my boyfriend and I do sometimes, if there are occasions. We are big horror fans, as you might know if you’ve checked out his blog. Actually, we are doing that tonight with a few drinks and snacks. We like drinks and snacks. I digress… all I’m saying is that people may be freaking themselves out for fun, an that’s great! Movie night!

My new books!

As a Satanist, I’m feeling extra witchy today! It may be because I recently got my new books, The Satanic Witch and The Satanic Scriptures, in the mail. I think it’s because things are just going my way today. First of all, it’s a Friday, so that’s always great. Secondly, I have a full tank of gas and a full tank of sleep. I’m also looking great, so that’s a plus, and my students were pretty great. It’s shitty weather here, but that’s okay, because it’s tourist season where I work and the wind and rain keeps them away. This is nice because these idiots think its okay to park halfway on the road to look at stupid flowers. It’s really annoying.

I think I also really like the fact that people are so on edge. They are looking all over for what might go wrong and are more susceptible to Lesser Magic. I was thinking of the part in The Satanic Bible where Anton says something about 3:00 am being The Witching Hour, not because it’s a bastardization of the holy trinity, but because most people are asleep that might make it easier to throw curses during rituals.

The next Friday the 13th that rolls around, I’ll be doing a ritual with some friends who are also Satanists. Maybe we will do it at 3:00 am just for good measure.

Well, have a good Friday, my wonderful devils, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Now, I’m not going to come at this from a personal standpoint since I don’t think that it’s important. No, I’m going to come at this from a different approach that people tend to skim over: Common sense. Yeah, I think it’s pretty common sense to legalize weed nationwide (read: worldwide) for the betterment of humanity and none of them are going to be “because it’s fun”.

Again, I do NOT speak on the behalf of the Church of Satan or CoS Members.

So, first and foremost, there are so many medical benefits for people. I’m not saying that it will clear your skin and give you a six-pack, those are different medical benefits that end up just being click bait. No, I mean that the chemicals in marijuana haven been shown to help people with chronic pain from issues such as scoliosis or arthritis; severe pain from broken bones or recent surgeries; degenerative nerve disease pain; Parkinson’s (as a muscle relaxer); period pain; anxiety; depression; PTSD; and irritable bowel syndrome. Please note that this is not everything and there hasn’t been a lot of studies performed on the benefits of weed because it’s illegal.

National Institute on Drug Abuse

I bring up the medical promises of weed because, if you’ve noticed the United States has been facing a massive opioid epidemic and people seem to be at a loss and grasping at straws for answers. Um, I have an answer. Go back in time fifty years and make marijuana legal then. Let us imagine for a moment a life where opioids were used only at the end of life and a plant replaced pain medication.

When you go into a doctor’s office for a surgery, these days you’d be prescribed something like oxicodone or hydrocodone, which come with a laundry list of possible side effects such as coughing, stomach pain, nausea, itching, cramps, sweating, dry mouth, and far more. These medications, and others like them, also come with the risk of overdose.

Dr. Deborah Penner (TBH, I don’t know what year these are from)

Now, Marijuana comes with its own side effects such as an increased heart rate; increased blood pressure; dizziness; dry mouth; increased appetite; and slower reaction times. There is a chance for overdose, technically, but a person would have to consume over 50,000 joints worth of THC These effects differ from person to person and some people would rather deal with opioids than weed, but there are options if you don’t want to feel high.

A lot of products that come from marijuana come in forms that don’t require smoking such as drinks, tinctures, pills, and food items. These things can be 100% THC, 100% CBD or a ratio of the two. THC is the chemical responsible for head-high feeling people feel when they smoke while CBD is responsible for body high and pain relief. There’s other stuff in there, but those chemicals have to do with flavors. If you take a small amount of only CBD, you’d end up feeling just pain relief and little to no body high.

Marijuana, despite what people say, has almost no addictive effect. That’s not to say that people don’t get addicted to feeling a certain way, such as people who are addicted to shopping. It comes from the ground and is highly regulated so that the product put on shelves is safer than cigarettes by far. I’m not saying it’s the answer for everybody, but it might be used in conjunction with weed in order to reduce dependency.

Photo by RedBubble.com

Another wonderful reason to legalize weed is the economic befits. There has been illegal purchasing of weed for a long time before legalization and I’m sure there will be still due to people who can’t purchase legally, but these definitely fell significantly in the states that decided to legalize. That means that a percent of the money made would be paid to the government in the form of taxes. In 2015, Colorado alone saw $66 million dollars come in from the Pot Tax, which was actually less than they had projected. A figure from the Washington State Treasurer‘s website reads that during the 2017 fiscal year, Washington State raked in just under $320,000,000 in taxes.

These taxes could be put into education or prison systems in order to increase the quality the likelihood that students graduate and prisoners stay out of jail. Speaking of jail, we also need to release nonviolent marijuana offenders from jail, especially when people like John Boehner are joining a Marijuana Firm’s Advisory Board even after stating, in so many words, that his position on weed would never change.

Just releasing these people would save the nation so much money that would otherwise being spent on convicts whose only crime was having a gram of weed on them. That’s crazy. If you crossed my street, you could get that for $6.

In the long run, legalizing weed across the nation would benefit the United States in ways most people can see pretty clearly. Those who oppose the movement are going to be swept under the run when the next generation comes into power. From there, they can watch as we create a nation where they must either adapt or stay quiet.

I don’t even know why I’m doing a post on this since it just feels obvious. There are many different reasons why I’m pro-choice, both personal and religious, that I can find, but I’m only going to go over five of them on this post.

WARNING: ALL OPINIONS ARE MINE

I do not speak on the behalf of the Church of Satan or its other Members

Presenting…

Lauren’s Reasons Why…

Number One: It’s not your life.

Let’s say that you got a really bad haircut one day. Even though you brought a picture with you and explained in great detail exactly how you wanted the cut to look, it just isn’t good and it makes you look like a 40-year-old soccer mom. Well, upon seeing your awful haircut, you would want to fix it somehow and when you asked the hairdresser she refuses, and then if you try to go somewhere else, they also refuse, saying that “hairdressers don’t make mistakes, they just give us what we need, not what we want”.

Like this

This would make me so mad. It’s my hair! This is my biggest issue with the “Pro-Life” movement because they feel as if they have dominion over things that have absolutely nothing to do with them. Also, why do you care? Get out of my life.

Number 2: It’s My Choice

There was a time, many years ago, that I was pregnant and was considering an abortion. It was the saddest choice of my life, because there are things I want in my life. I want a career and to be able to do what I want. Do I want a family one day? Well, yeah, but not right now because I want to be able to get up and take a road trip with Dylan at 4 am if I wanted to. Some people think that I may be selfish, and yeah, I am, for both me and for my baby. I wouldn’t have been able to raise that baby correctly at age 20 when I was going to WWU, working two retail jobs, as well as starting my theatre career. I had plans and I was busy.

And I struggled for days on what to do. It’s not an easy choice. I didn’t sleep, my studies suffered and my designs came second. I ended up taking a few days off of work because I was struggling with my inner self so much. In the end, it didn’t matter because the universe decided for me. As with most first-time pregnancies, I miscarried. I was a weird mixture of happy and sad, but now, when I see where I am, I’m very happy.

Reason 3: I’m Pro-Life

WHAT!?! But this is a direct contradiction to the title of this blog! No, it’s not. I am Pro-Life in the sense that Christians pretend to me. I value all life, not just babies who have yet to be born, which includes the pregnant person in this situation, as well as adults and the elderly. Here’s what I’ve noticed: A person wants to have sex, but Pro-Life people say they can’t have access to free birth control so they get pregnant and can’t afford a baby or doesn’t want a baby, so she tries to access an abortion but it’s either to expensive, too far away, or illegal. Then she has the baby she never wanted and is forced into poverty, out of school, and into two jobs just to support a child. When she tries to sign up for family help through the government, she is told that she shouldn’t have kids she can’t afford.

Maybe she tries to get an illegal abortion and then both she and the baby dies. Maybe she does have access to a free or reduced-price abortion, but while she is in there, a lunatic comes in and bombs the place or shoots everybody?

This is not Pro-Life. This is Pro-Statis-Quo. I am Pro-Life in the sense that I feel that anybody alive should have full control over their life. This means that I believe in Gun Control because I’m sick of seeing children gunned down in schools. This means I am all about Universal Health Care because people would see their quality of life improve exponentially if they didn’t have to glue their body back together to save money instead of going and getting stitches.

Reason 4: I Live on Earth

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are a lot of people on this planet. In fact, I would say that there are too many people on the planet and we are using up the lasts of our dwindling resources. I, myself, having lived on this planet for the last 24 years, enjoy the Earth. I enjoy the mountains and the forests; I enjoy streams and birds; I enjoy breathing.

Dylan and I on Mount Baker

As humans are born, they need resources. We are consuming far faster than we could ever hope the Earth to provide and we are strangling our home. Lets imagine birth control methods and women’s health care, including abortions, are available and affordable all over the world. Nice, isn’t it? I imagine a lot of women in power since they were able to do what they want instead of having to care for a child she became pregnant with after a rape; I imagine smarter children and happier teachers due to the fact that they have fewer children to take care of and more resources for those they have; I imagine saving the planet.

Reason 5: I’m A Satanist

Yeah, of course I’m Pro-Choice as a Satanist. People who are members of the Church of Satan come from all over the political spectrum and I’m sure there are many, many pro-life Satanists. I don’t know any, but I’m sure they’re out there. But, I feel as if one thing we can all agree on is choice. Everybody should have a choice to do what they want and it’s not up to anybody else to decide what happens in another person’s life.

Even if I were to hate abortions and think that they were murder, which I don’t, I would still be Pro-Choice because I don’t have the right to tell people what to do with their bodies. In the end, everybody on this planet is here on Earth, trying their best to be happy, and people who spend their time being worried about other people’s lives are wasting their own.