The Elephant Song

This is a silly little song I wrote in March 2012 - the first song
I've ever written in fact. I came to me one day while I was contemplating
the phrase 'the elephant in the room' - I started thinking about where
else the elephant might be and what she might be doing. I composed some
verses about the elephant, then added in the other bits to make
it into a story. This was originally a poem, but later became a song.

I sang it for first time in public at Poetica,
an evening of poetry and music that used to take place every month in Bangor.
Just before I started singing a member of the audience who was rather
drunk started whistling and shouting. The host asked him to calm down
and be quiet, then I started singing. He was the elephant and my song
helped difuse the tension in the room.

The Elephant Song

There's a matter we must discuss
But I don't want to make a fuss
It's an issue we must address
But I don't want to cause any stress.

There's an elephant in the room
You've noticed, I assume
She's rather large and grey
And getting in the way.

It's so obvious to me
Oh why you can't see
We need to sort this out
And there's no need to pout!

Now the elephant's in the hall
Painting pictures on the wall
Of dragons and ships and trees
And great big bumblebees.

We must find a way
We can't let her stay
I'll go and call the zoo
To see what they can do

Now the elephant's on the stairs
Playing scrabble with the bears
Who live under chairs
And like to wear blue flares.

The zoo say they can give her
A nice place to stay
And we can go and see her
And we never have to pay.

Now the elephant's in the zoo
Making friends with the kangaroos
And delighting all the kids
By juggling dustbin lids.