There’s something about Nathan Fillion’s voice that makes me want to drink scotch in front of a fireplace. While the show is a nice addition to the police procedural lineup, I would gladly listen to it with my eyes closed just for the pleasure of that voice. It’s right up there with Tommy Lee Jones and “Hello my name is Johnny Cash.”

I realize girlfriend may be batshitcrazy, but she looks really HOT in the Circus video. Hopefully she can continue being diet-Madonna for a few years before returning to her White-Trash life of eating deep fried mayonnaise balls, drinking RedBull & Vodka, and letting her kids wander into traffic.

You’d think after 10 years in this city I would have learned better than to do the following:

Get on the subway in the morning without first swilling something caffeinated. (Mornings without coffee are likely to end in bloodshed, either when I fall off my high heels and skin my knee or when I finally loose my shit and bludgeon newspaper guy for whacking me in the face with the Metro for the 8th time)

Sit next to a bitchadolescent girl intent on rocking her Sidekick; since it is guaranteed to get you an offended sigh and a migraine-inducing eye roll if you jostle her arm. (If I’ve had a bad day at the office I am prone to do this on purpose so that I can channel Brenda Walsh after getting grounded by her parents for sneaking out to have sex with Dylan. *sigh* eyeroll. bitchface. THE TRIFECTA)

Forget your buffer (aka book, iPod, Gorilla mask, etc) . (Sometimes the only thing that can prevent me from starting a fucking riot at rush-hour is the fact that Jad Abumrad is talking to Jonah Lehrer in my ear about Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring)

If you DO forget your buffer (aka book, iPod, Gorilla mask, etc) DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT!(this may lead to the following)

If for whatever reason you get sucked into a conversation with a stranger who is intent of sharing their life story with you get off immediately at the next stop and switch cars BECAUSE when the old dude starts crying on your shoulder about his recent divorce while reeking like a distillery IT WILL BE AWKWARD. (true story)

Love makes you do crazy things. For instance, you can be a single girl whose idea of dessert is the cheese plate and a 4th glass of red wine and then one day you meet a RedSox lovin’ guy who turns your world upside down with a request for carrotcake cupcakes for his birthday. In your family cupcakes were always chocolate with homemade buttercream frosting . . . and birthdays were marked with pumpkin pie or cheesecake . . . but hey this is love, right?

And then there comes a day when he makes you laugh so hard that you snort Orange Crush all over the inside of his car (windshield, dashboard, seats, etc.) and you realize that you love him enough to forego your preconceived notions about birthday dessert forever. And you learn to make these:

In a large bowl, beat together eggs, oil, white sugar, brown sugar and 2 teaspoons vanilla. Mix in flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon. Stir in applesauce. Stir in carrots. Fold in walnuts and/or raisins if that’s your thing. Pour into cupcake liners. Bake in the preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of cupcake comes out clean. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely.

CREAM CHEESE FROSTING INGREDIENTS:

3/4 pound cream cheese, at room temperature

1/2 pound unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1 pound confectioners’ sugar

Cream together ingredients. Smear on tops of cupcakes. Feel free to use colored gel icing to draw carrots on top if you’re feeling extra cheesy. These cupcakes taste best slightly stale and cold with a tall glass of milk.