NC Adoption Law Crisis

Before we start this article on NC Adoption Laws and the process of adoption, we want to make it very clear that NC Fathers is NOT a law firm and nothing about this article should be taken as legal advice. NC Fathers believes that NC Adoption Laws and Process is in great crisis for unmarried fathers, their children, and everyone in paternal families. Earlier in the year, NC citizens were up in arms over Amendment One which basically says that NC only recognizes marriage between a man and a woman and many believe that this would have detrimental affects on the many numbers of people in NC who share their lives outside marriage. However, LONG before Amendment One was even thought about, NC Adoption Law and Process was clearly centered around protections for married fathers and families at the demise of unmarried fathers and families. Obviously, in NC a woman who is pregnant can not give up a child for adoption because there is a legal father. But what about when the parents are NOT married which is the case 40% of the time in NC according to the latest census? Well, NC is very clear on this as well. Adoption Law in NC says that a woman who is pregnant outside marriage does not have to inform a potential father about the pregnancy or plans to adopt the child to adoptive parents. In fact, many adoption agencies encourage mothers NOT to identify a father since this would allow the father to legitimate the child via the courts and stop an adoption. In many US States, there is some protection for unmarried fathers by way of a registry in which a father can register himself and anyone he had sex with, and those States feel like that is enough protection for fathers since that registry is checked before an adoption can take place. But this registry is not part of NC Adoption Law. So do NC Legislators feel that children are much better suited socially, psychologically, spiritually, and emotionally going to complete strangers over a biological father? Apparently so!Posts related to NC Adoption Laws and the Process of Adoption – None at this time

The issue of NC Adoption Laws has a significant impact on putative fathers in NC in that we see an industry developing where gay and lesbian couples, and adoption agencies, will capitalize on current law that does not require a mother to divulge to a suspected father that she is pregnant and thinking about adopting out. Our organization is neutral on gay marriage, and if gay and lesbian couples want children that is perfectly acceptable. However, we think that should ONLY happen after a putative father has been notified that he has a child and can make a decision to sign off on the adoption or not. This is going to be a HUGE issue in coming years where we will essentially see millions of new gay and lesbian couples and adoption agencies pushing to have fathers neutralized so they can adopt.

NC Fathers believes that this anti-father sentiment from Legislators is extremely dangerous for men, their wives, mothers, sisters, and others who stand ready to love and care for a biological child regardless of whether a marriage existed or not. Of course, there is big money and political stature to think about when it comes to NC Adoption Law. Remember, nobody makes money if a mother who wants to adopt is forced to identify a father and the father raises the child. But with adoption, there is an entire industry of lawyers, agencies, and adoptive parents that want for an adoption to take place above anything else. When adoptions happen, lawyers get paid, agencies get paid, and the adoptive parent industry can ring a bell showing that another successful adoption has taken place. The problem with this is that children deserve to know a biological parent regardless of which gender it is. They deserve to know their family, culture, genetics, heritage, and a sense of belonging that only comes from biology.

Are we saying that NC Adoptions are dangerous? Absolutely not, in cases where BOTH biological parents want to adopt out, adoption is a beautiful thing. But to develop laws around adoption that allows for one parent to make complete decisions without so much as letting the other biological parent know what is happening is excessively dangerous and seemingly is centered around money and politics, and is very detrimental to children who will one day question where they came from.

And, NC non-custodial families who deal with an anti-father sentiment in the family courts daily will clearly identify with this article.

NC Adoption Laws versus Fathers and Families

NC Fathers is primarily an organization of non-custodial families who want to bring about reform in the NC Family Court for the presumption of equally shared parenting and more equal courts. We believe that children deserve to have near equal access to both parents and extended families as this brings about far greater resources and opportunities for NC Children than alienating the non-custodial family to get child support and the accompanying Title IV-D money the State gets from the federal government in collecting child support. Clearly, for going on six decades, there is a very real bias against non-custodial families (usually a father) in the Family Courts that often destroy fathers, step-mothers, paternal grandparents, and aunts and uncles in the process. However, more and more we are hearing from biological fathers who learned that a child he helped conceive was adopted out to strangers because a mother decided that adoption outweighed a child being raised by a biological father. And, we think that NC Adoptions agencies are salivating at the mouth to encourage mothers to not identify fathers. As stated above, NC Adoption Laws and are very anti-father, and in doing so hurt a lot of women in paternal families who would love to have the ability to raise a biological child themselves.

Earlier this week (December 2012), a national non-custodial family/Fathers Rights groups broke the story of a LEGAL married Father who had his child adopted out by the Mother while he was doing a temporary duty at a military base in South Carolina. In this case, the child has lived with the adoptive parents for going on 21 months while the Father works his way through the legal system in an attempt to re-gain custody of his child. However, what is amazing about this case is the there is evidence that Adoption Law in Utah encourages these types of behaviors and the adoptive parents had this to say on a website they put up to solicit for donations to fight for a child they knowingly gained from an illegal adoption:

“But because the child was conceived in wedlock, he can object to the adoption, forcing us to trial to terminate his parental rights”

That is right, you read that correctly. An adoptive family knows that they received a child via an illegal adoption by an agency and process that is illegal and want to terminate the parental right of a LEGAL father. And, they have received over $22,000 in donations from others who think that this is OK. In looking at NC Adoption Law, this State has identical thoughts on adoption that is absolutely anti-father.

However, we have horrifying stories of adoption problems here in NC. Greg Johns is a unmarried biological father who lives in Wilmington NC who’s former girlfriend decided to give a child up for adoption without telling Mr. Johns that she was even pregnant or was considering adoption. In this case, Mr. Johns is still in the court system fighting, but according to NC Adoption Law and past cases, it is likely his attempts to regain custody of his child will be futile.

While these are just two examples of NC Adoption Law failing a large segment of Fathers in NC, our organization believes that many many Fathers and Families have children adopted out while never even knowing about it because adoption agencies encourage mothers to stay quiet so that things can proceed.

NC Fathers is not opposed to NC Adoptions, as it is a beautiful thing when adoptive parents want to take a child into their home and love them as their own. But when there is a loving biological parent who does want his child but there are laws in place that prevent that, nothing good can come from this process. And quite frankly, why any adoptive parent would want to take a child into their home knowing that most likely one of the biological parents does not even know that this is taking place is beyond us.

Fighting NC Adoption Laws

NC Fathers believes that there is not a far stones throw from the anti-father family courts and NC Adoptions. And, this process exclusively affects fathers and their families, to include the many women in paternal families who often times find out that a grandchild, or niece/nephew was never given the chance to be loved by them. Throughout this website, we have documented the amount of money and political stature that family court professionals derive when two parents are split and fighting, and we believe the same culture exist in NC Adoption Laws. Each time an adoption occurs, lawyers make money, the adoption industry can use the statistic to further their lobbying exposure, and adoption agencies get paid. All of this at the expense of a loving relationship between a child and his/her father.

If you are a NC non-custodial family, or someone who is concerned about this process and crisis in the NC Adoption system and laws that are designed to encourage mothers to adopt their children out over the potential for a biological family having that ability, then we encourage you to join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE to let us know your experiences and thoughts on this system. We also encourage you to extensively share this article with other NC families on the many social networking sites to bring about greater awareness.

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