Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Felix and Miriam: The New Hot Skiing Couple?

A Boston Blickbild Exclusive

The European tabloids and gossip columns are buzzing with the news about German Alpine skiing star Felix Neureuther and German biathlete Miriam (Miri) Goessner revealing their relationship. Since so many others have already reported this news, we would normally avoid this story like we would a pack of rabid pit bulls. But the others have not asked this fundamental question...should Felix and Miri replace Austrians Benjamin Raich and Marlies Schild as skiing's power couple? Our intrepid research team found two experts on sports and love who were willing to talk with our intrepid reporter as long as we did not reveal their true identities. Sarah is a psychology professor at an American university and David is a sports psychologist who works with a European curling team. Let's find out what they have to say.

BB: Benni and Marlies have regained their position as skiing's power couple after Aksel Lund Svindal and Julia Mancuso broke up last summer. Do you think that Felix and Miri should replace Benni and Marlies as the hot power couple of skiing?

David: I think so. Benni and Marlies have shown that their love is long-lasting, even when Aksel and Julia took the spotlight. But the fans get tired of the same people being together all the time and look for someone new and fresh. Felix and Miri are a new couple and are therefore more exciting than one that has been together for what seems like an eternity.

Sarah: Definitely not! Felix and Miriam should stick to their own kind!

BB: Sarah, I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. Felix and Miri are both German. In fact, they are from the same city. They both compete in sports that require skis.

Sarah: He is an Alpine skier and she is a biathlete.

David: That is true. But they are both professional athletes and accept the demands of their sports. They both understand that training and fitness are important and can support each other.

BB: Right. Fellow athletes know about training and the need to be apart from each other because of competition schedules. Even if Felix and Miri were both Alpine skiers, they would be away from each other for a good part of the season.

Sarah: That is true. But Benni and Marlies are both in the same sport. Their fans love them because they are with their own kind and not with someone from another sport.BB: So when Aksel and Julia were the hot power couple, it didn't matter that Aksel was Norwegian and Julia was American?Sarah: That's right. The important thing is that they were athletes competing in the same sport.BB: I see. David, what do you think?David: Sarah is correct that it didn't matter about Aksel and Julia being from different countries. Their relationship bloomed as people were getting tired of Benni and Marlies. People want to see exciting romance, not people who act like an old married couple. Felix and Miri are two good-looking athletes who can get the fans excited about romance again.BB: When Aksel and Julia were together, there were a lot of broken hearts. Women wanted to be with Aksel and men with Julia. Are hearts breaking all over Germany because Felix and Miri are together?David: Yes. Felix seems to have a sizable following of both women and gay men, even though he is definitely straight. Miri also has a lot of male followers. But their true fans want to see them happy, so they will be in favor of their relationship.BB: Let's imagine for a moment that a female Alpine skier is gay and the partner of another female Alpine skier. Would it be possible for them to be a power couple that could replace Benni and Marlies?Sarah: Yes. That is something new and different, yet the two women would be with their own kind.David: I agree with Sarah about a gay or lesbian Alpine skiing couple being a refreshing change from a straight couple. If the right people were involved, there could be a gay Alpine power couple.BB: Sarah, a gay Alpine skiing or biathlon couple is okay, but a couple where one person is an Alpine skier and the other is a biathlete is not?Sarah: That's right. First a romance starts off between two athletes that use skis, like a biathlete and a ski jumper. But once you allow mixed couples like that to become the "in thing," then it heads us down a slippery slope. The next thing you know, an Alpine skier will want to be with his cow!BB: I'm a bit confused here. How does an Alpine skier having a relationship with a biathlete lead to someone wanting to date his farm animals?Sarah: It doesn't go right from someone dating a person in a similar sport to dating his cow or sheep. First it begins by two people in slightly different sports dating each other. When that is considered acceptable, then next thing you know, the Alpine skier is in a relationship with someone who plays golf or does curling. It's a shorter step than you think from a different sport to a cow or chicken.David: Hey, wait a minute. What do you have against curling? It's a great winter sport.Sarah: Curling is shuffleboard on ice. It's not a real sport!David: Oh yeah! You try standing on ice and wielding a broom!Sarah: It's also very boring. A match takes forever.David: Curling takes a lot of skill and balance. It's not a sport for wimps. But I bet you would be an ace at curling since I can tell that you are good with a broom. You probably even have a pointy black hat to go with your broom.BB: Time out! Let's get back on track. We are supposed to be talking about whether or not Felix and Miri should be the ski world's new power couple, not the merits of curling. David: Are you saying that you don't like curling either?BB: No. I have watched my share of curling because it's the only thing that Eurosport shows in the winter. David: I would never have consented to this interview if I knew you were so biased against curling!BB: Curling is a fine game. Now can we talk about Felix and Miri?Sarah: You like curling?!? I didn't realize that I was being interviewed by one of those European socialist reporters. You are as liberal as everyone else in the media. May you be struck dead by a lightning bolt!BB: I am not biased, liberal, or conservative. I am part of the most intrepid team of journalists in the business. David: Curling is not just a game, it is an Olympic sport. I take that back. It's the greatest Olympic sport ever. It has the grace of ice skating, the strength of weightlifting, and the excitement of Alpine skiing.BB: Speaking of Alpine skiing, can we get back to Felix and Miri?Sarah: David, you have the world's lowest boredom threshold.BB: Well, it looks like we'll never know if Felix and Miri will replace Benni and Marlies as the ski world's new power couple because we are out of time. And that concludes another Boston Blickbild exclusive interview.
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