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Christmas is Safe

By this point, you are no doubt familiar with the war on Christmas order of operations. Every year, like clockwork, some podunk town renames its "Christmas Parade" as a "Holiday Parade." Citizens get upset. Fox reports. America decides. Someone sells some books. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Is the war real? Maybe. But when it comes right down to it, thanks to one Humboldt town, Bill O'Reilly has no reason to seriously worry about the holiday's health. While individual battles may be lost, until the day Ferndale slides into the Pacific Ocean, it's hard to imagine a time when the Christmas season will be anything but thriving.

The Victorian Village, despite healthy competition from other North Coast communities, is the local Heavyweight Champion of Christmas cheer. Every year, throughout December, Ferndalians put enough effort into celebrating Jesus' birth -- with colored lights and singing and stuff -- to draw even the humbuggiest Humboldtians across Fernbridge.

This weekend is the culmination. On Sunday, Dec. 19, starting at 7 p.m., Ferndale hosts the Annual Christmas Lighted Tractor Parade. The sidewalks will be thick with festively-minded folk gathered to witness brightly colored farm equipment and floats travel the length of Main St. Don’t procrastinate. If you want to secure a good viewing spot, you’d better take your Christmas cheer seriously and get there early.

Hungry? For those who need just that much more holiday community, you might want to come even earlier for the Annual Old-Fashioned Chicken Dinner that takes place in the Ferndale Community Center, prior to the Tractor Parade from 4-7 p.m. A hot holiday meal consisting of savory baked chicken, fluffy mashed potatoes and gravy and more will be served for $12/$6 kids. Because you should never look at tractors covered in Christmas lights on an empty stomach.

Strike a deathblow for Christmas! For more info on Ferndale’s love of the holidays, visit www.victorianferndale.org. Fight the good fight.