Friday, May 15, 2009

Some Live for the Bill Some Die for the BillDear World,

How is everyone doing? First, shout out to Aek the blogger of "The Masks We Wear" for being a loyal reader. Thanks for all of your feedback. So stop by and tell him Anonymous from Picture Perfect sent you there.

So to keep it straight forward this post is about money, and the role it plays in my life. My Dad came from nothing, I was born into NOTHING. My Dad used to sleep with a mag light under his pillow just in case someone broke in through our window bars. The thing about window bars is that if there was a fire, there really would be no way out if the doors were blocked off. So it makes me really angry when people pass judgements about me because I have money. But thats not the point I'm trying to make right now, maybe another time?

As we all know, the American economy is at an all time low. Unemployment rate is at about 10%, the highest its ever been. But keep in mind, unemployment rate does not include people not actively seeking work for 2 weeks and institutionalized people, so it's probably a lot higher if we included these people. Although it hasn't been made explicit by my parents I can tell that something is wrong, financially that is. My Dad has an amazing fleet of cars, including a Mercedes S class, a Bentley Convertible, a Bentley Arnage, and a Range Rover for the mom. We probably spend more money on cars, then we do on our own home, however our house is also pretty extravagant. We have gate guards, guest rooms, offices, and even a library. But this economy has been taking its toll on our family. The Mercedes was recently sold, which I find very strange, my Dad loves his cars more then he loves his own children. I can finally park in the garage, which is also strange. Furniture is beginning to disappear, our house is becoming emptier and emptier.

My mom recently went to the bank to withdraw some of her jewelry, for no good reason at all. The only time she ever goes to the bank to retrieve her jewelry is when she has some formal event to attend or to sell it. And because she had no special event to attend, I'm assuming she pawned some of her jewelry. I don't think we're poor, I just think my parents are preparing because they know something is happening. And many people who ask me about how I feel about the situation, I can tell you that I can careless. Well of course I care a little because its kind of nerve racking not knowing how much more furniture will disappear, how many more cars will go away, etc. I am nervous because I don't know how extensive this can get. But I know first hand that money can't buy you happiness. Wasn't that made obvious by my friend, who lived in the same opulence as me, who committed suicide? Money is an added bonus to a life that is already fulfilling. I know first hand, that money can buy friends, can buy cars, can by beauty but all of these things have something in common, its all fake. Money can't buy you anything real. Money tricks people into believing that they have it made, when really the only reason why the old man is married to a hot leggy big breasted women is because she wants his cash. Money will let you believe what you want to believe.

Even if the money suddenly disappeared tomorrow, I would still be perfectly content with my life. My family gets along, we have food on the table, we'll always have a home, etc if anything it would bring us closer together. The reason why I want to be a lawyer is because I want to be an advocate for gay rights and or minority rights. Money may be an added bonus. People have this false impression that I have no problems because I have money. Well guess what guys, my money sits in the bank and collects dust. It does absolutely nothing to make my situation better. When I have to live my life in secrecy hiding the one thing that makes me who I am, I can't just run to the store to buy an extra large box of "acceptance." I can't buy foam to fill the emptiness that I feel sometimes because the world tells me that its wrong. I can't use money to save my best friend from his suicide. I can't buy sobriety to all my friends we have lost control of their lives from drugs and alcohol. So to all you people who say I have no problems because I have money.....FUCK YOU.

5 comments:

my own belief is that too much financial freedom and comfort is a curse, the same as not having enough. My parents are very judgemental and presumptive about the success I have achieved in life, and it causes me great pain ... I appreciate your sensitivity and anger at the way the outside world sees your position - everyone has problems, big and small and we are never in position to judge anyone other than ourselves - as always I love your writing

I can relate to this post, albeit to a much lesser extent. I was born into relatively little, but my parents worked so hard to get us where we are now. We're by no means "rich," but definitely somewhere between middle and upper-middle class.

Not once have I really considered money to be a major factor in regards to things that truly matter. I agree with you that money is just an added bonus, and that it cannot bring true happiness.

However, I think money is good for one thing: creating opportunities. It can carve open a door where there wasn't one, but a door is meaningless unless one also puts forth the effort to walk through and make the most of it.