Look I'm sick and just took medicine now I'm off to drive heavy machinery

1 It is easier to be forgiven, then to ask permission. (ask any man)
2 People who live in glass houses should change clothes in the basement.
3 People who pass wind in church sit in their own pew.
4 Baseball is all wrong a man with four balls cannot walk.
5 Men who walk through airport turnstile sideways are going to Bangkok
6 A man who eats many prunes will get a good run for his money.

And a lame joke

A little girl was burying something in the back yard The neighbor came over and asked her, "what are you doing little girl" The little girl looked up and said with a sad look . "I'm burying my dead parakeet" "Oh that so sad said the neighbor, but why such a big hole for a small bird" . "oh said the little girl that cause its inside your cat"

Thanks kids I'm here all week I'm sick and going home . Leaving the safety of the hollow mountain.