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Saturday, December 28, 2013

Planning Your Wedding in 2014 (and how to not make yourself crazy in the process)

Did your someone special pop the question over the holidays? Well, first off, Congratulations! This is an incredibly exciting, emotional, and potentially overwhelming time of life....but it doesn't have to be. Your engagement should be a time to celebrate your future union but so many couples become utterly obsessed with planning the perfect wedding. Don't let the planning of the future wedding overshadow the future marriage.

Here are a few wedding planning Do's and Don'ts to help alleviate some stress...

(c) Amber J Photography

Do Get Your Family Involved

If your family will be involved in the planning process, either financially or through other contributions, get them involved right away and have everyone lay out all of their expectations. Your future mother-in-law desperately wants you to have a giant four layer wedding cake but you love the idea of cookies for your wedding dessert....you'll want to know these types of expectations upfront. By communicating these expectations (and assumptions) for all parties, there will be less surprises and stress down the road. You can do this by inviting your family over for, say, brunch and discuss the planning process in a casual manner.

Don't Pick A Date

While it's cute to get married on 11-11-11, don't make yourself crazy trying to find a wedding venue that can accommodate you and your guests on your desired day. But you've dreamed of a fall wedding since you were a little girl??? No one cares...just be flexible with potential wedding dates. You will be glad you did.

(c) Amber J Photography

Do Be Realistic About The Guest List

Drafting a guest list is one of the most stressful aspects of wedding planning. While you may want to invite everyone under the sun to your wedding, your budget will most likely constrain your guest list. Ask parents and other family members to generate their guest lists and vet out the people who are most important in their lives. And while your dad may have lots of great friends retired and living it up in Florida, it is unlikely that all 30 of them are going to travel to the Hudson Valley to see you get married.

Be realistic about how many people to invite. Wedding experts say that approximately 20% of the invitees will regretfully turn down the invitation but I imagine that that number increases when many of your guests are out-of-state. Expecting 180 guests and only having 100 guests accept the invitation could lead to additional (and unnecessary) fees incurred by wedding venues and vendors.

Don't Pick Bridesmaid Dresses

If you are having a bridal party, don't stress over finding the perfect dress for all of the girls in the wedding. Let your girls do the dirty work by picking a color and general style (country cute versus city chic) and allowing them to find a dress that works well for their body and budget.

Or do what I did and tell your girls to wear black cocktail dresses. My maid-of-honor found an amazing little black dress for under $50....she looked absolutely beautiful and was able to wear the dress multiple times after my wedding. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

And it's my personal opinion that wedding photos of bridesmaids in coordinating (but not matching) dresses is way more ascetically interesting than those with perfectly matched ladies.

(c) Amber J Photography

Don't Spend All Day on Pinterest

Pinterest is an amazing resource; however, it can be completely overwhelming. Pinning every single super cute wedding idea will be an enormous time suck and will make you go crazy trying to find the perfect mason jar centerpiece. Limit the time you spend on Pinterest and your brain will thank me.

In the end, your guests will remember your special day if they have had fun...so focus on the fun and not on the color of the cocktail napkins. No one remembers those details anyway....