Portis Trivia

It's after 6 on a Friday. Go home. Stop looking at your computer. However, since the Washington Post needs a blog entry about something other than cheese to excerpt in tomorrow's paper, we present Clinton Portis Trivia. The moral of this trivia being, Portis's shoulder is not the only thing that's been a tad questionable over the years. The first person to e-mail me the correct answers to each of these questions will receive.....I don't know. Something. Leftover cheese, maybe. (Note to editors: Don't excerpt that last line; it's about cheese.)

1. Clinton Portis's status for Sunday's game is once again up in the air, but Clinton Portis says he'll be ready because he's been eating what twice a day?

a) Red Bull concentrate
b) Tea leaves
c) Gunpowder

2. After throwing a touchdown pass last season, Clinton Portis said he could throw a football how far?

a) "Out there to Eastern Motors"
b) "Up there around Mars or so"
c) "All the way back to Miami"

3. Which terms have Redskins assistants used to describe Clinton Portis?