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Friday, November 08, 2013

Jay Leno: "New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was re-elected by a huge margin. He gave a great speech last night. He said he learned a lot in the last four years – for example, that lap-band surgery doesn't always work."Conan O'Brien : "The new mayor of New York City is a progressive Democrat with an African-American wife who used to be a lesbian. Or as Fox News reported, the apocalypse is upon us."RICH vs. POORConan O’Brian: "The new mayor is married to a woman who used to be a lesbian. His campaign slogan: 'If I turned her around, imagine what I can do for New York City!'""New Jersey re-elected Governor Chris Christie. Or as Christie put it, 'I came back for seconds.'"Craig Ferguson: "In New Jersey, they re-elected Chris Christie by a HUGE margin. Is there any other way?"Jay Leno: "There's now growing concern in Iran about the health of 74-year-old Ayatollah Khamenei, the country's supreme leader. He has a chronic illness. You think healthcare is bad in this country, try seeing a doctor under Ayatollah-Care. See how that works."Jon Stewart: "So, yes, the president was somewhat dishonest about the promise of his healthcare program, but here's the weird part, his opponents have been lying like motherf*ckers about its effects."