(CNN) – Heather McIver and her partner, Suzanne Lowe, have a new item at the top of their to-do list, now that North Carolina voters have approved an amendment making marriage between a man and a woman the only legally recognized relationship in the state. They need to meet with their lawyer to see what they can do to ensure their rights as a same-sex couple and mothers of two children.

"I'm really disappointed in North Carolina, because I had this idea that we were the progressive Southern state, that of all the Southern states we wouldn’t let this happen," said McIver. "As overwhelming as the loss was, it really was a reality check for me. I feel like we’ve lived up to the Southern reputation of being ignorant bigots."

With all 100 counties reporting, 61.05% of 2.1 million voters approved Amendment One, and 38.95% voted against it, according to the State Board of Elections. About 34% of registered voters went to the polls. North Carolina is now the 31st state to enact an amendment banning same-sex marriage.

McIver and her family were featured in a photo project that highlighted the commitments between same-sex partners living in North Carolina. When In America interviewed her in April, the situations she feared most, if the amendment passed, involved what rights Lowe would have if McIver were to pass away or become incapacitated.

Those are the matters they want to consult with their lawyer about on Wednesday. McIver said she's also concerned about the message the amendment sends to their children.

"I think that it sucks that both my kids have to grow up feeling like their family isn't legitimate," McIver said.

Pam Spaulding (who was also featured in the photo project) doesn't expect her daily life with her wife, Kate, to change much in the aftermath of the vote - their 2004 marriage in Canada wasn't recognized before and won't be recognized after.

But Spaulding, who used her platform as a gay rights activist and blogger to oppose Amendment One, knows that many other couples - both straight and gay - won't be as lucky. As an example, she cites people who get insurance coverage through their partners' municipal or state employment, because the lack of legal recognition for their relationship throws their eligibility into doubt.

North Carolina already has a law banning gay marriage, but supporters of the amendment say adding a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage protects the ban from being struck down in the courts. Amendment One also invalidates civil unions and domestic partnerships, regardless of whether they are same-sex or not.

The debate over Amendment One is one that threw the changing demographics of North Carolina into sharp relief.

"This state has long exhibited two parallel trends of political thought," said Ferrel Guillory, head of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill's Program on Public Life. "There's this modernist, progressive element to North Carolina, which is expressed in its major universities, in its development of the modern economy, the Research Triangle. There's this movement to modernize in North Carolina that’s been going on in the postwar era. But the overlay is a stream of cultural conservatism."

Urban counties were more likely to have a majority of votes against the amendment than rural ones. In Mecklenburg County, home to the state's largest city, Charlotte, 54% came out against the amendment. In Durham County, the vote was 69.7% against. In the three other counties housing the state's largest cities, one had a majority voting against, and in the other two, voters approved the amendment by single-digit margins.

Guillory said the issue divided the religious and black communities in the state. While conservative Christian churches and the state's Catholic bishops have been adamant voices in favor of the amendment, more mainline churches have been in staunch opposition.

Guillory said that a dividing line could also be seen among black voters, some of whom voted for the amendment on the basis of their religious belief that same-sex marriage is wrong, and others who voted against because they believe that the amendment flies in the face of biblical teachings about love and forgiveness, and could have unintended negative consequences for African-American families in which the parents are not together.

The head of North Carolina's NAACP Chapter, the Rev. William Barber, had spoken out against the amendment, and Spaulding said that his support and that of dozens of other black clergy who opposed Amendment One made a difference.

"The coalitions that were built around this battle were unprecedented in terms of working with faith communities, communities of color, in terms of educating voters about the amendment," said Spaulding, who is African-American. "There was unprecedented support on the anti-amendment side from the black community and the black faith community."

Spaulding said that the anti-amendment campaign did not have enough time to educate potential voters about the ways it could harm straight couples and people in civil unions.

"That particular messaging only happened in the last week and a half, whereas the early voting started earlier than that," Spaulding said. "That was a missed opportunity. ... We didn't have time to make inroads in places that were on the fence."

soundoff(135 Responses)

Eric

I wonder what the result would have been if people in the South could have voted on cilil rights for black people 50 years ago? I mean if 51% of the population in Arkansas voted to keep black children out of Central High School or if 51% of Alabama voters wanted Rosa Parks & other African Americans to sit at the back of the bus, would that have been legal or moral? When does a majority get to vote on the Civil Rights of a minority?

Just so ya'll know anyone who dosent want to come down here now for the way we voted Good it will leave more beach cottages and mountain cabins available for us locals!! If you don't like us down here please keep your money and stay away. I would rather take the hit in toursim with my own business than put up with people trying to shove deviant behavior into my state and values that I don't want on my wife and kids.

I have lived in Wilmington all my life. I did go up north for college. I am educated and I am a christian. I used to consider myself a democrat until recently. Yesterday I was accosted at my local groccery store by two african american women who asked me if I was registered to vote . How intrusive ! When I asked them why they were doing this they said that they "heard" that african americans here in North Carolina were "confused by the voting process". I asked the to elaborate. They said that since so many blacks voted for the ammendment and for traditional values we must be "confused". I then realized that they were not from the state but seemed to be from somewhere else.Listen up folks once and for all .... Blacks in North Carolina and around the south are not confused about how we voted. My people have been political for years down here in Wilimington even before slavery and we have survived a lot. I will not be told thatI am confused about my right to vote and what I choose to vote for. We have traditional values down here even those of us that are democrats we are moderates. But soon many will leave the democratic party all together if this harrassment continues! Blacks voted the way they wanted to here and most voted to uphold traditional marrige values -ON PURPOSE!

In the government sense, marriage is a legal agreement whereas it is a religious agreement through houses of worship. I really don't get why two consenting tax paying adults cannot enter into a legal agreement. Fine if churches turn gays away, that's their thing... but it is sad that the government interferes with people's lives this much. I thought the south was tradtionally againt excessive legislation and intrusion.

As a black man in North Carolina I am totally offended at people comparing gay rights to the civil rights movement. Gays were not enslaved nor have they suffered Jim Crow STOP IT. The two are not the same. If you have a problem with the way we voted down here get OUT!

As a white woman living in North Carolina I am highly offended at the way our vote has been scrutinized. We are allowed to vote anyway we want to. It was not mean spirited. It was a vote to uphold traditional marriage plain and simple. I have black friends from my church who also voted to support traditional marriage only. North carolina is the south people here have traditional values that includes many blacks. We have strong families down here and we like it that way. I used to be a democrat and would have voted for obama now I am not so sure. Respect the votes of individual states.

Sorry folks but NC is still the south. New York has been pouring money for the last 20 years to make the state swing liberal its not working there is backlash against obama and a lot of other liberal socialist policies. The state was broke the state "bought in" on letting folks in they would never had if they had money they let folks move it to move the economy to build their cities to modernize to an extent externally they didnt give up their traditinal values.another reality that is a big secret– black women are more like to get married and stay married in the south. In the north black women die single and alone. So black women are holding on to their marriages.So this time blacks and whites in the middle class had something in common and they voted like it. North carolia is not LA its not New York it never will be dont' be fooled this is still the south. Feel free to move around the country if the state rights votes of the state are not respected.

I wanted to thank you for your tgfohhtuul coverage in regards to Penn State. I'm not surprised that Biden was so informed, his father has written and sponsored some of the most important legislation in this regard. I listened to Jimmy Williams, and his past earlier today. That took a lot of courage. Its a thankless task, and its very stressful to talk about these things, however, just hearing some responsible media coverage, that means a lot. keep up the good fight.

For those who are against gay marriage, or union, could you share with me why? I'd also like to ask the you refrain from reference to any religious writings or ideals when explaining. I was raised in a strong Christian home and was taught to love all and respect all. Each human being is given a life to live. We shouldn't have a say on how he or she chooses to select a partner. Live and let live.

why take the right of marriage away from people?
they are no diffrent, love is undefient.
& marriage is something amazing, it just bonds two souls together,
weither it be a man and man or a women and man.
its two hearts and two souls joining together,
because they love one another.

Karola, I live in South Carolina. This state as well as North Carolina are full of uneducated hillbilly idiots who are stuck in the past while the rest of the world moves into the future. I was not born in this state but since moving here a year ago I have been shocked by the fact that we live in 2012 and there is still so much Racism and Hatred for gays where I live. I may tell people that I live in South Carolina BUT NEVER will I say my children nor my self are from here!!

This vote did not hurt gays, it hurt any couple that is in a civil union or domestic partnership as now those are no longer recognized relationships....WOW people saw gay and took out their pitchforks but in the end the people have just fallen on those pitchforks. Many many years ago people thought people of different races should not marry....people fought to keep them from getting married. BUT we progressed as people and any law enacted was overturned. Violation of civil liberties. Women denied right to vote because they were women, yet eventually we got it. Segregation because they were black, again it ended because it was wrong...History will look back and see a struggle for people to be recognized like all the other struggles this country has seen. Gay marriage will happen!

A simple resolve to this nation wide. stop issueing marriage licenses, instead put in place a partnership contract. in male female since children come along, use bothe last names, of adults in the contract. let them refer to them selves as husband and wife if both life styles choose to do so. but have no more marriage licenses. after all a marriage lic is really no more then a contract in the first place, then it would only be a bit of tweeking all other legal aspects of the obsolete marriage lic as in insurences property etc. that would do away with the so called divorce, it would instead be called a desolveing of the relationship contract. simple fix and then the rest of the world can get on with the real importent issues on the table...

A disappointing step backwards in the progression of HUMAN CIVIL RIGHTS but more or less a speed bump. All the name calling and Bible quoting in these comments is laughable. It's the only way faceless, right-winged lunatics can attempt to sound educated and make an attempt to get under logical, rational people's skin.

There WILL be a day when all of this is part of our country's pathetic history of hatered and intolerance for anything outside what the Bible says is right. Until then, I will continue LOVING (in the very BIBLICAL sense) my husband and we will live in gay-harmony because NONE of your words or laws matter when it comes to real love and marriage. I dont need your imaginary God telling me what I can and can not do with my very REAL husband.

There are roughly 10 Million people in North Carolina.
There are roughly 6.5 Million people registered to vote in North Carolina.
Only 34% of 6.5 Million actually turned out yesterday = 2,200,000 votes cast.
Only 61% of 2.2 Million voted for the Amendment = 1.35 Million voted for Amendment 1.

That's closer to 1 in 10 than anything. That effectively amounts to a "special interest group".

The really REALLY screwed up part is that 66% of the registered voters abstained. And I gaurantee you, they're 20 years younger than the average of those who did participate.

This is about ignorance in many ways. Not just about bigotry, but about the lack of participation in the democratic process.

The religious zealots were fired up to get out there and deny their fellow citizens the rights that they take for granted. Most who were not affected by it were not inclined to get out and vote because it was not an issue that they felt affected them. The ones who 'were' motivated to get out and protect their rights were a minority, so of course they can't win a popular vote.

Wow maybe I can get me two wives next. Or maybe three. Then others can choose their own combination. One wife and one husband or two husbands. Heck, we can make it a free for all. Anything goes cuz we are free to pursue our happiness. Thank the Lord.

1. If you are going to evoke the bible, you need to evoke the ENTIRE bible, not just the parts that fit your cultural norm visions. In other words, you need to support a constirutional ban on SHELLFISH right now, or you're a big fat hypocrit.

2. Why do YOU care if a man wants 2 wives? Why do you care if a wife wants 2 husbands? How does that effect you in any way?

Why was something amended for a right was not legal to begin with? The hatred in this country is overwhelming. I wish people would quit quoting the Bible. The Bible says a lot of things. The religious are the biggest hyporcrites in this country. They pick and choose what they want out of the Bible to suit their needs or wants. The south is an ignorant and uneducated place.

Nice Luke. "Lets wait till the old people die off and repeal this amendment." Let's rephrase that. "Lets wait till the immoral become a majority and repeal this amendment."

It's a good thing your mother or father wasn't gay or you wouldn't be here to make absurd statements like that. Better yet, lets just assume that being gay is the "right" way to be. The earth would then be devoid of ALL human life in less than 70 years. Now tell me, how is it there is nothing wrong with that? Get a grip people – you want civil unions or whatever you want to call it fine. Leave the term marriage alone. It's between a man and a woman – a union capable of procreating. The last thing I want is for someone to ask me if I'm married and the next question be "to a man or woman?"

Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
... 9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says:
9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.

Another great thing about democracy: draconian and unjust laws are usually repealed when the greater population decides to do so. (See prohibition. See women's suffrage. See universal suffrage. See segregation.) You support legal alcohol sales, right? Well, if your grandparents did too, good thing they didn't love it or LEAVE it.

Islam is an Abrahamic religeon, just like Judaism and Christianity. They all claim the same roots, and they all more or less subscribe to the same old testament traditions. The biggest differences between the three are cultural differences.

This is not America. Very disappointing decision, regardless what 'state' it occurs in. Marriage is a unifying partnership and does not have to be based on man-woman bond. I am a straight man, mid-30's with gay friends and relatives all whom love, are loved by others and I love them as well. Having just visited the beautiful state of North Carolina last month, I have a gut feeling I will NEVER GO BACK unless such a decision is brought down. This is an extreme measure which people ought to get a grip with reality. In some respects, this is segregation and separation. Besides, whatever happened to separation of church & state? Bible belt fanatics do not need to ruin life for others. This IMO is religious-based bias and judgement, not justified law.

Since when is America the world's sponsor for Deviant behavior? No, this is America, and if you don't like it, PLEASE leave...too many of your mindset, aka Obama supporters, have took this country to the edge of ruin; morally, racially, economically and financially...crawl back under the rock from which you slithered.

Granger, I consider myself a moderate. I am an undecided voter at this point, regarding a general election. I have to ask you to elaborate on what you mean when you say that "Obama supporters [have] brought this country to racial ruin." What exactly do you mean? I presume you're talking about events that have happened from 2008-2012...? What exactly do you mean by "racial ruin"?

FYI granger, I happen to live and work in the county [mind you, Republican-centric] where the degradation and demise of the U.S. sub-prime mortgage collapse began and helped push our worlds economies into a tail-spin. So, yeah, go all ye' Republicans. Frankly, this is not a partisan decision. The amendment to law is based on morals and the morale of few. Granted, IMO the few have spoken louder than the masses. To some this is a victory, yet to many more this decision may be considered a humanitarian failure.

Aside from the fact that your comment is completely ignorant due to the content of the message.... No one has took anything... maybe they have taken it somewhere... Does your church offer adult education classes? You may want to consider TAKING some.

I own an enchilada shop with my wife (a woman) and we have two beautiful young children. However, thanks Bubba. You and your state may secede from the rest of the nation now that our nations leader has spoken. If you're not behind him or national or human rights progress, then fine. This has nothing to do with political party affiliation.

The only bright spot to this horrible vote is that in another decade or two, votes like this will no longer happen. Older people make up the majority of the actual voting block and unfortunately, they are mostly socially conservatve. As they die off, these kind of insults to civil liberties will end. This is why you see an increasing number of libertarian republicans. There are many young people that agree with fiscal conservatism but far fewer that agree with the social conservatism. The far right christian coalitions better enjoy their last few victories because in the near future, they are going to fare far worse than this. Hopefully it will happen more quickly than a decade or two but we will have to see.

Sorry but you are wrong. In my area, most of the liberals who were actively against this were middle aged or older. I am young, most of my friends are young. We are all college educated and we voted for this Amendment.

sadly is not about the age, is about the inquisition like mentality they still have based on their religious beliefs... amazing, how Americans criticize Muslim countries for being religious "extremist" and they do the same with their own Christian ideas... so much for the so called land of the free... what a joke

Thank you for being a stereotypical bigot (definition: one who makes a blanketed, overgeneralized comment about a group or region) just like the people in my state who voted for the amendment.
31 states have passed such an amendment. That leaves 19 to choose from, I guess.
Not everyone in NC is the way you think we are – you are being exactly as ignorant as those supporting the new amendment.

Actually, you raise an interesting point concerning incest. The whole argument concerning gay marriage is allowing consenting adults to marry who they wish. You are a bigot if you do not support a mother and daughter wanting to marry each other or people who consent to polygamy. Bigots!

It's not the left who lost, it was America. Once again the conservatives keep people stupid, intolerant and hateful using any method available. If you can't see that then you're not any American I want to have as a neighbor

Yes, the Left lost this because, as was admitted in the article, the people supporting gay rights didn't get their act together and educate the voters in enough time. With less than 40% of registered voters in the state voting, the get-out-the-vote effort was, apparently, nonexistant.

This is democracy, folks, and the system worked. If you take it for granted and don't vote or get others to vote as well, your cause is more likely to fail. That seems to be what happened here.

I am tired of people like the ladies in this article and people on here acting like NC has done a bad thing and "I'm ashamed to be from NC". Well, i am not. I love it here and I love that the majority has spoken. If you love it here and you're gay, fine stay. If you want to be married so bad then go elsewhere. Glad there are at least 60% that value marriage as it has always been.

This has nothing to do with civil rights. Gays can do everything everyone else can. Marriage is between a man and a woman and has been since the start of time. Changing that is a perversion of history and of nature. If gays want to marry they can, it just wont be recognized by the state. Government acknowledges marriage and promotes it with tax breaks because the family is the basic unit of the state. Children are best off when raised by a loving father and mother. If this ideal is not always reached it is still worthwhile for government to promote it. Framing this as a denial of rights is simply disingenuous and wrong.

Sabi ni East Timor President Jose Ramos Horta (in one of the forums in AdDU), the Filipinos are the most braililnt, enterprising and resourceful individuals. Kahit nga daw sa building ng United Nations, may mga Filipino secretaries na may sideline na RTW at kung anu-ano.

FYI: Civil rights protect individuals' freedom from unwarranted infringement and ensure one's ability to participate in the civil and political life of the state without discrimination or repression. This vote was a violation of a minority group of US citizens' civil rights.

There are plenty of 2 parent – man woman households that can't raise a child for squat and many supporting gay parents that can. If all it took as a man and a women then child services wouldn't be so busy now would it.

Are you the child of gay parents? If not, then you can't speak to their experience. I can and there is no confusion at all. Children are a lot smarter and more tolerant than most of the people on this forum (you included).

Yes, traditional Biblical marriage, between a man and a woman and a woman and another woman and a bought 12 year old slave girl and some concubines, and your best soldier's wife and 700 other tribute brides...As God intended.

It seems to me that you are saying that all divorced and remarried people should not be given tax privileges nor should their marriage be recognized either. Only marriages recognized should be those first time stay together people according to the Bible. I would agree with that, the dangers to most marriage is the right to divorce. You are way off base. What does it matter to anyone who marries people. It is ridiculous to discuss animals, pediphiles, incest, etc. We have laws against that. Two consenting adults should have the same privilege as you do. I am an older, married for 55 years to the same person, yet I do not mind who marries who if they are old enough to decide.

"the ways it could harm straight couples and people in civil unions". Time will tell. We have all this speculation of things that could occur that did not occur in the other 30 states that already have such an amendment.

First thing conservatives do is to proclaim their patriotic and everyone else isn't. How unpatriotic is that! Using patriotism is a losers argument. Only scoundrels and politicians, I mean Republicans, can do that.

Then I guess the north should have left the south alone when it wanted to continue practicing slavery. I mean, after all, a majority of the voting people (remember slaves aren't people) thought that slavery is morally right so why did the north butt in. For that matter why aren't the southern states still segregated since it was obvious a majority of the residents of those states opposed integration. Your argument that the majority gets to vote away liberties of another simply falls apart.

Let me second that. I so hoped this wouldn't pass. It sets us back so much as a state. This country was founded on freedom OF and FROM religion. The founding fathers had seen what happened in Europe when religion was the basis for political decisions. They set this country with the hopes that America wouldn't make those mistakes. From time to time in our history, those of one religion or another have tried to force their ideas on others, all the while clothing themselves in biblical righteousness. It may some time, but this will be repealed.

I am so sick of Gay people trying to make people who don't agree with Gay marriage feel bad. If we all did what we wanted to do without laws and structure what kind country would we have? Most Americans are not against Gay people they feel you can do what you want in the privacy of your home. In fact most people would not know a person was Gay unless they are told. Most Gay people know in there inner conscious that the gay lifestyle is perverted that is why they look for acceptance.

there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay and being who you are. I have friends who are gay and they are among the kindest people I know, much kinder than those who claim to be Christians while doing the non-Christian things...

Dear Willie,
As a Gay American, honestly I do not need nor want your acceptance as an American or a human being for that matter. What I want is you to stay out of my life and what I chose to do with. The Declaration of Independence says all men are created equal with certain unalienable rights, those being life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Why does my pursuit of happines, marrying the one I love, have to be curtailed becuase your small, uneducated mind that really wants to be involved in my home, life and liberty. Think about the history of our country and what it stands for before you try to create it in your image.

This IS a religious issue. The Bible says "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." Therefore, every relationship with love as the foundation has God in it. Nobody has the right to stand in the face of that. "What God has joined let no man separate" God also gave us freedom of choice and expression. Nobody has the right to stand in the face of that either. I'm a middle aged straight man who has been married nearly 25 yrs. I also live in NC and have all my life, and I voted against this travesty of civil rights. What galls me most is that it doesn't just ban gay marriage, but also civil unions and domestic partnerships. Children are going to suffer from this. The intent of this amendment isn't to protect marriage, but to punish and segregate. Disgusting.

Its is really sad that a WHOLE state full of so called religious people continue to refuse rights to one segment of the population. I am SURE that most voted because of their belief in the bible, but the fact is they only select ONE part of the bible to uphold and anything to do with themselves being sinners are just ignored. "To hell with the rest of the people, I got mine!" is the motto of these backwards small afraid people. I don't really care what they believe but they seem to want to force their beliefs on everyone else. What small, ignorant

I'm not from North Carolina, nor have I read the amendment. But I see lots of hate here for people (the ones who voted in favor of the amendment).....and the voter turnout was low. So if it is such a bad amendment, an the majority was against it, why didn't they simply exercise their right to vote, rather than excercise their equal right to gripe after the fact? Voting works, griping solves nothing.

Hurray for the great state of North Carolina!! No one wants to take away anyone's rights, but marriage is between a man and a woman! Whenever gay marriage is voted on it is voted down. People intrinsically know that marriage is between a man and a woman despite the best efforts of some unscrupulous people to frame this as taking away someones rights.

Not all people are christians and do not have the same beliefs! Does that concern you at all or do you want to force your beliefs on all of the rest of us? If that is the case, then I will force my beliefs on you whether you agree or not! Fair?

Dream15x, you are right. God does have love for everyone. Everyone keeps controdicting about Gods love and the bible, but if they read Leviticus, they'll see that God's word says the act is unclean, but as Christians/Catholics you still need to love all.

DreamX, new testament or old testament. New testament is christian and old testament is jewish. Massive difference. Jesus was the game changer. Christianity started based on the teachings of christ and the new testament. No where did he mention gay as a sin or even an abomination. He said celebrate diversity and love one another. If you continue to state the old testament as part of your christianity values, you are mixing your religions. I find most people are rather dumb about the bible and that is really is two books and two religions.

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What defines you? Maybe it’s the shade of your skin, the place you grew up, the accent in your words, the make up of your family, the gender you were born with, the intimate relationships you chose to have or your generation? As the American identity changes we will be there to report it. In America is a venue for creative and timely sharing of news that explores who we are. Reach us at inamerica@cnn.com.