I got to bring short swords (not sharpened) to class for a book report in my youth. I also had a bully who used to shove me into lockers. That day, i managed to see him coming up the hallwith blood in his eye, so i held my bag between me and him. He ended up with stiches, and everyone, including the teachers who saw it, said it was entirly his fault. He never shoved me again. These kids just figured out the rule "don't trust someone you pick on."

So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

AngryDragon:"Students also told 23ABC that they were notified of a new policy at the school Friday stating that no outside food is allowed to be brought to the school "

Jesus farking tapdancing Christ....

'Here, Billy. Eat this poison ivy I found growing in the quad. Its from here in the school, so it's not outside food. IT's cool, I'm not allergic, and if God loves you, you won't be allergic either. Just eat it!"

/Billy will likely have trouble once the urushiol oil hits the anus//actually his throat will probably close up first...

In fairness to the school, tfa says it was claimed that the girl herself told them she had put pubic hair and bodily fluids in the cupcakes. Whether she did or not, in today's climate the school had to fully pursue it.

The real victim here is the French class that had to cancel its planned ethnic food day, any similar educational events that might have been held in the future, groups wanting to have bake sales, and the overall social cohesiveness of the school now that friends can't bring in birthday cakes or treats for classmates.

We're getting ever closer to all having to walk around in personal protective bubbles and signing waivers before talking to anyone.

twomutts:So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

twomutts:So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

/that's some fine reporting there, Lou...

I still don't get something here... How were they destroyed to the point they couldn't be tested? Did they flush the cupcakes down the toilet? Did they load them up into a rocket and fire them into the sun? Did they jam them into a sink's garbage disposal? Were they loaded into the Large Hadron Collider and smashed to atomic bits? or were they put into a small bag, tied off and thrown into the dumpster, forever ending the chance or performing a test?

I think, basically, what happened, is that picked-upon girl made nice looking cupcakes for her tormentors, handed them out, and instead of sugar and yummy things, put in soy sauce and BBQ sauce. Great gag! And then rumour spread that the precious bodily fluids were inside. Maybe she even started said rumour.

Police talked to her and determined that they weren't, she was just pranking.

nowaymanblue:twomutts: So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

/that's some fine reporting there, Lou...

So the confusion wasn't entirely because I haven't had my coffee yet.

Yeah. I'm about halfway through the first cup and I wondered the same thing.

Satanus Maximus:twomutts: So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

/that's some fine reporting there, Lou...

I still don't get something here... How were they destroyed to the point they couldn't be tested? Did they flush the cupcakes down the toilet? Did they load them up into a rocket and fire them into the sun? Did they jam them into a sink's garbage disposal? Were they loaded into the Large Hadron Collider and smashed to atomic bits? or were they put into a small bag, tied off and thrown into the dumpster, forever ending the chance or performing a test?

Someone should go to jail for tampering with evidence.

It would cost a lot to "test" the cupcakes for all the things she claimed were in them. I suspect even basic PCR for human DNA would cost a few hundred (and be consistently positive anyway unless the cupcakes were baked by robots in in a cleanroom). So I'm not sure what the police did to them?

If that was true, a person would obviously have at least a partial cupcake, and would surely have kept it for the police.Since no such thing was found, I hope they arrested the person who made the bogus police call.

redheededstepchild:I got to bring short swords (not sharpened) to class for a book report in my youth. I also had a bully who used to shove me into lockers. That day, i managed to see him coming up the hallwith blood in his eye, so i held my bag between me and him. He ended up with stiches, and everyone, including the teachers who saw it, said it was entirly his fault. He never shoved me again. These kids just figured out the rule "don't trust someone you pick on."

These days, you would have been expelled and possibly arrested. Zero tolerance, you know.

twomutts:So let me get this straight... A student distributed a bunch of semen laced cupcakes to her enemies at school, but they weren't REALLY semen laced. We know this because the police tested the cupcakes, despite the fact that all of the evidence was destroyed before then could test the cakes. Did I understand that correctly?

/that's some fine reporting there, Lou...

And somehow bringing in the health board was discussed. Were they thinking of taking her restaurant license?

/at least she didn't make herself one poisoned cupcake while they were enjoying theirs.

Three different people writing different parts of the article without reading each others' sections (particularly the one that wrote the headline without reading the story), and no editor to check the final product? Still a pretty poor result, but more understandable.