failure is "normal"

I really hate the saying that 'failure is not an option'. And personally I think that it is a load of crap. There are a select few individuals that live their life by and around the saying, but those are the type a, ocd, perfectionist types. For the rest of us un-type a individuals, failure should be a normal thing. Sure, no one likes to fail, hence the saying being drilled into out delicate little minds through out the twelve plus years of education, but in reality, it happens. Relationships fail, friendships fail, jobs fail, and sometimes even people and education fail you.

But it is all normal.

It's normal to feel like you failed at a relationship because of the factors that lead to incompatibility or because the other person decided to do you wrong. It's normal to feel like sometimes you are failing as a parent. It's normal to feel like you are failing at giving your hundred and ten percent to everything you do on a daily basis. It's normal to not be perfect.

I struggle with the idea of failure on a daily basis. My failure however, is not being able to devote a hundred percent to everything I do.

I struggle with the failure of feeling like I'm not spending enough time with my child doing mom/child things like playing, coloring, going outside... etc, because I have housewifely duties to attend to. I try to carve out at least one to three hours a day for mommy and me time, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. Yes, I would love to spend 24/7 with my child, teaching him, playing with him, and such, but that's not reality. Reality is laundry, dishes, floor cleaning, grocery shopping, breakfast, lunch & dinner making, and the like.

I struggle with the failure of feeling like I did nothing in a day. Every now and then, I will take a lazy day and spend it primarily with my child to remedy the above situation. But at the end of the day, when the house is a mess & dishes are piled up, I feel like I failed at being a housewife.

I struggle with failing to remember things. No, not the important things like birthdays and social security numbers... but like bill due dates and things I promise to do. Over time I've realized that if I don't write it down, I won't remember it. So... of course I have a planner, a dry erase calendar, and a purse calendar that all reflect the same dates. And still I barely remember anything. That's the definition of failure right there.

But I'm tired of struggling. So, this week, I am wishing to work on accepting failure, and finding ways to change what I'm doing that entice failure. Basically, I am going to set my goals lower. Instead of having the goal to finish all of the laundry, my goal is going to be two loads a day; cleaned, folded & put away. Instead of having the goal to spend the whole day with Lil Man, my goal is going to be to start with an hour of fully undivided attention and go from there. Another goal is going to be to include Lil Man in my daily chores... laundry, dishes, etc. He is old enough now that he is able to help with out making too much of a mess. The last goal for the week is to write down all of my bill due dates and doctor appointments for the rest of the month. On each one of my three calenders.

To recap, this weeks wishes are:

1 | Two loads of laundry a day- cleaned, folded & put away.

2 | Spend at least one hour of undivided attention with Lil Man a day.

3 | Include Lil Man in daily chores.

4 | Write down all of the important dates for the rest of the month on each calendar.

Failure is a huge part of my life right now (going through a divorce will do that). I try to remember to just take one day at a time, set small goals, focus on the good, and remembering what really matters.

Oh how I love this post...I can so relate. I think that we need to change our viewpoint though. Without failure (and really are any of those things failures?) we can not learn, we can not grow, and we can not truly savor our "successes". Thank you so much for linking up with me....and btw...you look beautiful in your pics!

I think it's important to remember that failure is something we put upon ourselves in situations like this. It's measuring yourself against a bar that you've set, and often we just set that bar way too high. Your goals seem reasonable - but still, take it easy on yourself. Your son is happy, he loves you, he knows that you love him even when you are buried under washing and dishes and cooking!! Try not to think of a near miss of a goal as a failure as a mom / housewife / person. We need to be kinder to ourselves!!

On a practical note, having him help with chores is a good idea - my kiddo *loves* 'helping' now and doesn't even realize if helping isn't a game. Everything is a game to her. She puts away all the plastic dishes (tossed in a drawer, I just don't worry about it being organized), she loves to put the wet clothes into the dryer with me and pull the dry ones out into the basket. She even likes to put socks and such into her dresser drawer. :) See what he enjoys helping with and those activities will be 'quality time' too, without even trying!