Dr. Aline Zoldbrod is a well-known Boston-based licensed psychologist, individual and couples therapist, and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is the author of three commercially published books about sexuality and relationships. Her book, SexSmart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It has been translated into four languages and was recognized as one of the top three sex-help books of the year. She is an adjunct faculty member at the University of Michigan Sexual Health Certificate Program. You can find her at sexsmart.com.

Are you more inhibited sexually than you want to be? Is this inhibition hurting your ability to date or your relationship with your partner? Are you in sexual situations where you know what you would like to have done to you, but you just can’t bring yourself to ask for what you want?

Many of my patients have absorbed negative or frightening messages about their sexuality from parents or their church, so that normal sexual wishes — like the simple wish to be touched sexually or the desire to pleasure themselves — are off limits.

One of the principal ways sex therapists help their patients is by combating negative messages about sexuality. But you can free up your sexual inhibition yourself, if you prioritize transforming yourself in this way.

One good way to check in with yourself about your inhibitions is to watch a very explicit sex scene on TV or in the movies and check with yourself about how you feel while you are watching it.

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