Gillespie: Feigning illness more effective than a positive attitude when climbing career ladder

I may be wrong and I don’t have time for this, but I think I finally understand why my career has been such a bust.

Turns out I’m using all the wrong phrases (including the ones listed above).

I recently received an e-mail from a publicist trying to drum up interest in a book by Darlene Price called Well Said: Presentations and Conversations That Get Results.

Price, who is president of a consulting firm in Atlanta, has coached more than 5,000 business people on the art of communication. And in her new book, Price explains that “if you want to maximize your success as you climb the career ladder” you should avoid using certain phrases in the workplace.

For example, Price advises you should never say things like “I can’t do that” or “That’s impossible” or “That can’t be done.”

Price says that although you might actually feel this way, these phrases are perceived by others as “pessimistic, unconstructive and even stubborn.”

She may be right. But I’ve worked long and hard to stake out a solid reputation as someone who’s consistently pessimistic, unconstructive and stubborn. And while some might view my reputation as a negative thing, I’m pretty sure it’s saved me from doing a ton of work.

Price also recommends workers avoid saying things like “I don’t have time for this right now,” because in addition to being rude, that phrase implies the other person is less important than you.

Instead, Price suggests you say, “I’m meeting a deadline at the moment. May I stop by your office this afternoon at 3 p.m.?”

I suppose that works. But I believe it’s far more effective to make gagging sounds, mutter “stomach flu!” and sprint toward an exit.

The author also suggests avoiding phrases like “He’s a jerk” or “I hate my job” or “This company stinks.” Instead, one should use tact when expressing a genuine complaint.

For example, don’t say, “Susan is lazy.” Instead say, “I’ve noticed Susan has been an hour late for work every morning this month.”

I have problems with this. First, since I’m usually late and always get to work after Susan, I never noticed she was such a lazy jerk. And I really don’t have time to discuss this with you because — uggghhaa! — I have stomach flu.

But I think Price’s most surprising bit of advice is to avoid saying “I’ll try.”

For instance, let’s suppose your boss says, “I need that proposal by 10 a.m. tomorrow,” and you say, “I’ll try to get it finished.” That answer is a big no-no, says Price, because “it presupposes possible failure.”

She’s right. I never say “I’ll try.” I say, “Are you kidding me? I can’t possibly get that done. I’ve got stomach flu. Plus, I’m never even he re by 10 a.m., so why don’t you get that lazy jerk Susan to do it.”

Career ladder? Forget it. I’ll ride the escalator to the basement, then duck out the back door.