Knowing how much he has supported Mr Cameron in the past, and how supportive he has been to the Conservative cause, this towering figure is just the man to help sweep the Conservatives to victory at the next general election.

Clearly, the prescience and perspicacity of Mr Cameron in bringing this man onto to his team shows that he is truly worthy of our admiration and support, as we all hold hands and ride off into the sunlit uplands, looking forward to a new dawn of prosperity, happiness, contentment and stability. How could anyone disagree with this wise decision?