Student Life

Dear Ellie...

This week, Ellie helps a student who’s worried about leaving her friends and going to a university far away from home.

by
Ellie Back

First Published:

08 Nov 2016

Dear Ellie,

I’m from London and all my friends are staying local for uni. I went to an open day for a university in Leeds and absolutely loved it but I don’t know if I can apply knowing everyone will be at home having fun without me. I’m worried I’ll be left out. Should I look for something closer to home?’

Firstly, congratulations on finding a university you really like! For many students, choosing the right university can be a bit of a stab in the dark, and many end up applying for places they feel lukewarm towards. However, I understand your excitement about Leeds has been tainted by what you think it may mean for your friendships.

It’s understandable that the idea of all your home friends hanging out without you is an unpleasant thought, and likely inducing some FOMO. Most people face some tough choices when it comes to applying to university, and it seems that yours has been made tougher because you feel the odd one out.

Be reassured that going to university offers you an almost unparalleled opportunity to make new friends, often life-long relationships with people you’ll get super close to, while living and studying together. And moving away from home definitely doesn’t mean the end of your current friendships, especially in an age of WhatsApp and Skype. Have a look here for more thoughts on this.

It’s true that deciding on a university involves weighing up a number of different factors, location being one of the most important. If being close to home, and to your friends, is an important priority, then by all means do consider this seriously before making your decision. If, however, as is clear from your letter, you are hugely tempted by Leeds, you may find that this issue isn’t as big as it seems.

Especially if there’s no alternative university you’d be just as happy at closer to home, it would be a massive shame to not apply to your preferred uni based on what other people are doing. In hindsight, I suspect you’d regret this decision to limit yourself in this respect.

There’s something to be said for not following the crowd in this situation, and to have your own adventures. Any real friends will support this decision, and be there for you both at home and afar.

If you have university worries or questions you’d like Ellie to answer, email agonyaunt@hotcourses.com. We’ll never reveal your name in the column so your identity will be kept confidential. Questions may be edited for clarity or word count.