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Netflix Wants Me Back

Earlier this summer, I broke up with Netflix. Since then, Netflix fooled around, hooked up with a burner or two, caught some VD, gained 100 pounds, then realized they need me back. I’m doing just fine.

In a moment of weakness, Netflix put on some Air Supply, lit a cigarette, and wrote me this email asking for me back.

Netflix could have told me they changed. That they’d stopped their whoring and price increases. They were too proud to admit their mistakes. They didn’t inform me of any added content to justify the price increases. So I’ll keep my money and they can continue to fix their falling stock.