Journal of Pirate Lingo*

A lot has been happening, both good and bad, but I don't feel up to writing right now and am not even sure what I can write. However, I must tell you about a incredible thing I saw yesterday. It is called 826 Valencia, and it is located at 826 Valencia.

826 Valencia is a small, beautifully furnished building where you can buy pirate supplies. There are many lists on the walls related to various aspects of being a pirate, such as SIGNS OF SCURVY ("#9: YOU ARE CRANKY #10: NO-ONE LIKES YOU") and PROHIBITED ("#8: FIRE #9: BEAR-BAITING ONBOARD (ON LAND OK) #10: BOOK-LARNING"). There are also dioramas. Many events are planned, such as free haircuts and hair bartering. There is a pufferfish named Karl. This place is hilariously real. It filled me with joy. I would highly recommend going to see it if you live in/near San Francisco.