Widely regarded as the most incompetent Secretary of State for Defence since the Duke of York, Geoff Hoon has passed away following a long and painful period of illness due to injuries received in a tragic fisting accident.

Hoon was thrown out of the family home because his family hated him, and decided that his personal qualities were eminently suited to the legal profession. However, even the lawyers hated him so he decided to set his sights lower and become a politician.

A consummate brown-noser and toady, he was appointed Secretary of State for Defence due to his ability to do as he was told. It did not take long before the Armed Forces bestowed upon him the cheeky soubriquet "That C**t Hoon".