Q:
I'm in the process of putting together a business plan for a
new homebased business. It's 90 percent complete, and I'm
having problems getting my wife to support my new business idea.
We've talked about the subject a number of times. She insists
she won't have any part in the business. I'm concerned with
this and the effect it may have in the future when most of my time
will be devoted to the business. What are your thoughts?

A:
Your wife could be entirely supportive of your business and still
refuse to be involved with it. Let's be entirely clear about
what it can look like to be supportive. What I interpret from your
question is you're assuming that if she refuses to work in the
business, that automatically translates to a lack of support.
That's an invalid assumption.

What your wife is doing is setting a boundary. She's saying
to you, "OK, I support you starting this business. I give you
my blessing-go for it. But don't ask me to be your partner or
your employee." Why is she saying this? I don't know.
Maybe your business doesn't interest her. Perhaps she's
afraid of being turned into your secretary, and she's afraid
she'll get stuck with all the work you don't want to
do.

Perhaps she already senses this business could take over your
lives together. Perhaps she doesn't want to work with you, so
she wants some area of her life that's just hers and not about
the business. From what you describe, I hear her saying something
more like, "I support you doing this business, but please
don't count on me to help you." That is not the
same thing as not being supportive.

Unsupportive would be, "You are not going to quit
your job and start a business. No way!" Unsupportive is,
"This business is the stupidest thing I've ever heard
of" or "You can start this business if you want to, but
you'd better never be late for dinner. You'd better not
spend any of our savings to get it going. And if you think I'm
going to put up with late working hours or your business taking
over the dining room table, you can forget about it!"

From what you've told me, she's warned you that she
won't work in the business but she is encouraging you to
do what you need to do. If that's true, be grateful for her
emotional support. As the business flourishes, she may volunteer to
help you in practical ways-or she may not. But the most important
thing is whether she continues to encourage you to do what you want
to do.

The opinions expressed in this column are those
of the author, not of Entrepreneur.com. All answers are intended to
be general in nature, without regard to specific geographical areas
or circumstances, and should only be relied upon after consulting
an appropriate expert, such as an attorney or
accountant.

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