On Was Brought

I remember when I was in middle school (really dating myself here), every girl in class was obsessed with this movie. And because I was unpopular and slightly bitter, I wrote it off. God. Cheerleaders? How can you make a movie about cheerleaders anything but vapid and obnoxious? What's this movie even about? Getting boyfriends on the football team? Who needs another movie pandering to young teenaged girls about girly crap?

Turns out this movie's actually about artistic integrity, how to cultivate true leadership qualities, and becoming an independent adult who faces problems head on.

What?

Yeah, this movie has its share of girly situations, but what it NEVER does is pander. Instead it gives our main characters credibility by giving their issues weight and gravity. Their hard work is recognized, their struggles are relatable, and they are never talked down to by the writers or the audience. It sounds so easy, but it's very difficult to pull off, especially in 2000 with a movie about high-school girls.

So yeah, I'm glad I never saw this movie when I was younger. Because now, along with good film sense and years of experience, I can drink alcohol. And thank God I was never a cheerleader.

"Is There a Drink for, like, Totally Obnoxious?"

We've covered a fair amount of movie musicals here on For Your Inebriation, and there's a reason for that. In the mid-2000's, the genre went through a bit of a renaissance. Due to the success of movies such as Moulin Rouge and Chicago, the industry suddenly realized that there was still a market for a big, flashy, highly-choreographed movie where we get to see our favorite movie stars sing (or try to). So dozens of musicals on Broadway were adapted to the big screen, with honestly mixed results. For every Chicago, there was a Rent.

One of the more successful adaptations was the movie we're drinking to this week: Hairspray. Based on a musical which was based off a movie, it's a beautiful example of the fun, pop schlock that came out around that time. Its bright colors, catchy songs, and inspirational quotes left teenagers and adults alike dancing in the aisles. Also, this movie brought us John Travolta in drag, and that is just the gift that keeps on giving.

But is there any substance under all this style? Did this movie deserve to be the smash hit it was? Welcome to the 60's. It's time to get your drink on.

"I Feel Like Louise Bourgeois is Orgasming Somewhere."

Well, it's November. Halloween has come and gone, but the memories and the hangovers still remain. Maybe you stuffed your face with candy, or maybe you drowned your sorrows in liquor. Or maybe you didn't do a thing because Halloween was on a Thursday this year and dammit, you had work in the morning. What, does everyone expect you to forsake your good health for some cheap thrills and a costume contest or two? You're a busy guy.

Not to worry, friend, because that's what holiday weekends are for (or any weekend, really). And there are few better ways to celebrate Halloween than by watching The Nightmare Before Christmas. A beautiful labor of love, this stop-motion classic was beloved by many creepy children who grew up in the 90's. With its catchy songs, its breathtaking animation and its unique take on Halloween AND Christmas, it earns its title as a holiday staple.

Perhaps you don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe you've never seen this movie, but wondered what the fuss was about. If you haven't, it's about time you've begun.

"It's Literally a Romp Plus Lyncanthropy."

Happy almost Halloween, everyone! It's that time of year, where people like to indulge in pumpkin spice lattes, apple picking, and watching spooooky movies. So we decided to give you a couple of spoooky drinking games to try on for size.

Or at least that was the idea, but then this 80's classic caught our eye. "Teen Wolf" has received a resurgance in popularity since the television adaptation, which is now in its third season, hit the airwaves. I can't speak for the quality of the TV show; I've never seen it (I know, for shame), but I'm not sure it can top this cult hit. This movie taught us that you should always stay true to yourself, because people will accept you...as long as you're good at organized sports. And if you get turned down constantly by the pretty popular girl, don't worry! Your childhood friend is there as a back-up. And make sure to avoid dangerous stunts unless you have the strength that only the full moon can bring you.

Yeah. This is a weird one. How did it slip past my radar for this long?

Yes. This is the Good One.

This movie was made in 1971.

I know, right? We could barely believe it ourselves. It doesn't feel like a 70's movie. I'm sure if you sat down and analyzed it stylistically, you could tie it into the 70's very nicely. The psychadelic style, the pacing, the portrayal of children and family. I believe it. But something about this movie makes it feel much...

The argument continued for a minute or so, when it dawned on me exactly what was happening.

"Guys," I said. "We're watching a timeless movie."

Willy Wonka has survived its era, and continues to be present in young people's minds as a movie worth watching. But what exactly elevates the film from quirky kids movie to family classic? We investigated the movie with plenty of booze in tow, because as Mr. Wonka is quick to remind us, "candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."

Happy Summer!

Those of you who were paying attention at the end of the last review might recall that I was going to make a drinking game for "Memento" next.

Turns out that after the soul-crushing horror that was "Passion of the Christ," not too many people were into that particular idea. And I realize that today is the first day of summer. So for the next four weeks, to celebrate the new season, we'll be taking a look at some of our favorite movies and television shows that have to do with travel and adventure! Because there's no better way to celebrate summer than packing into a car and going wherever the road takes you, whether you're setting out on a quest or just rolling around.

Memento's day will come. And that day will be sweet. But will it be as sweet as a delicious burger from White Castle?

Gets Better Every Time

I don't have to explain this movie to you guys, right? You all know it? Presumably you like it? Good.

For the 1% of the population that has never seen this movie, you're missing out on a great time. I'm convinced my parents were sitting on this one for years until they thought I could appreciate it, because they were THAT excited when I watched it with them for the first time. Most of us had seen the movie on television somewhere, or at a friend's house, or with family.

Weirdly enough, most of us had never seen the movie all the way through. "You forget the whole first half hour of this movie, because you never see the first half hour of this movie," claimed Flux. Meanwhile, Paul had never seen the iconic final scene that's been parodied in media ever since it first hit theaters. So I encourage you all to watch "Ferris Bueller" all the way through.

And while you're at it, play this stellar drinking game. Just make sure you give yourself a day off afterward.

Coming Soon to Netflix

GUYS. It's almost May 26th. Arrested Development Season 4 is almost within your grasp. AREN'T YOU EXCITED???

What's that? You never watched this show?

Well, you have plenty of time to catch up. With only three seasons, the last of which is technically a half season, up on Netflix, you have no reason to dawdle. This show is genius, in a way that few shows have managed to emulate. The jokes come so quickly, the twists come so out of nowhere, the humor is SO absurd. The ties the show holds to reality, while slim, are tight, which keeps it from flying completely off the rails. It anticipates jokes made at its expense before they happen. As the Fuzzy Masked Man says, "There's just nothing to make fun of."

There's no guarantee that my rules will work for season 4. But I'm sure as hell going to have fun seeing for myself.