As you lather up with Irish Spring and venture forth this evening, remember ye golden rule of cultural beer-sales-driven holidays: ONLY MEXICAN BARS AT ST PAT’S, ONLY IRISH PUBS AT CINCO DE MAYO. You know this. Repeat it to yourself eighty times before you walk out that door this evening. Once for each snake St. Patrick smote with a stick his first thirty metres.

Now then! On to the evening bar guide. Brief but effective. Look for the drunk, blurry leprechaun giving you the finger seal of approval for your best chance at a normal place to take the bite off another work week:

also, we’re hitting a place in the valley as tom bergins is now out of the plan. Springbok (south african) sports bar and grille on victory bl 1/2 west of woodley ave on the south end of the van nuys 3 par golf course.

I went to McMurphy’s in Pasadena once on St. Patty’s day and refused to pay their outrageous cover (what was it now….$20??). And that got you nothing…no cup, no drink specials, NOTHING. Just the honor of spending your hard earned green on some green beer. Um not thanks. And good luck with the running a business thing and making money. Top o’ the Morning to you arseholes.