Essays on Life, Liberty and the Art of Depression

Easy ways to lose weight…until you read the fine print

So, I thought I’d repost this ’cause actually it sounds kinda easy, but then again…

1. Fidget
James Levine, MD, of the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, has spent a decade studying the role that everyday movement, His discovery: People who tap their feet, prefer standing to sitting, and generally move around a lot burn up to 350 more calories a day than those who sit still. That adds up to nearly 37 pounds a year! Lara’s Note: might work, unless you work in cube city and then be prepared to be kicked under the table and out the door.

2. Keep most meals under 400 calories
Study after study recommends spacing out your meals at regular intervals and keeping them all about the same size. Eating meals at regular intervals has been linked to greater calorie burning after eating, better response to insulin, and lower fasting blood cholesterol levels. When you eat regular meals throughout the day, you’re less likely to become ravenous and overeat. Lara’s Note: Um like DUH. if you keep 3 meals to under 400 calories, than you’re at a 1200 calorie day–optimal to lose weight. Really easy, until you add the mashed potatoes, glass of wine, a slice of cake. This is the whole crux of the matter. If I could keep all meals under 400 calories, now I wouldn’t be reading this article, would I (or you for that matter)

3. Take yourself off cruise control
Increase the intensity of your everyday tasks, from vacuuming to walking the dog, recommends Douglas Brooks, an exercise physiologist and personal trainer in Northern California. “Turn on some music, add in some vigorous bursts, and enjoy the movement,” he says. Lara’s note: Ok, I will try to enjoy the vacuuming more.

4. Drink 8 glasses of water per day
Water is not just a thirst quencher–it may speed the body’s metabolism. Researchers in Germany found that drinking two 8-ounce glasses of cold water increased their subjects’ metabolic rate by 30%, and the effect persisted for 90 minutes. One-third of the boost came from the body’s efforts to warm the water, but the rest was due to the work the body did to absorb it. “When drinking water, no calories are ingested but calories are used, unlike when drinking sodas, where additional calories are ingested and possibly stored,” explains the lead researcher, Michael Boschmann, MD, of University Medicine Berlin. Lara’s note: Been there done that. Been to bathroom double time. Burnt more calories walking to the bathroom. Annoyed the piss out of office mates ’cause I used up the toilet paper. Woke up 3 times a night to pee. Husband pissed off. (Ooops, I don’t have a husband). Woke up irritated and annoyed because of all the peeing. Pissed off Bella. But very healthy kidneys.

5. Step it up–and down
Climbing stairs is a great leg strengthener, because you’re lifting your body weight against gravity. In addition to taking the stairs at every opportunity, try stepping up and down on the curb while you’re waiting for the bus or filling your gas tank, says Brooks. Lara’s Note: Unless you live in an apartment building in Manhattan with elevator. On 19th floor. Hmmm. I guess that would work.

6. Use grocery bags as dumbbells
Letting someone else load your groceries or carry your suitcase is an opportunity missed for strengthening and calorie burning, says certified coach Beth Rothenberg, who teaches a class for fitness professionals at UCLA. “Carry your groceries, balanced with a bag in each hand, even if you have to make several trips,” she says. “And pack two smaller suitcases instead of one big one, so you can carry them yourself.” Lara’s note: Unless you order in all the time. This could be a hard one.

7. Eat 4 g of fiber at every meal
A high-fiber diet can lower your caloric intake without making you feel deprived. In a Tufts University study, women who ate 13 g of fiber or less per day were five times as likely to be overweight as those who ate more fiber. Experts see a number of mechanisms through which fiber promotes weight loss: It may slow down eating because it requires more chewing, speed the passage of food through the digestive tract, and boost satiety hormones. To get 25 g of fiber a day, make sure you eat six meals or snacks, each of which contains about 4 g of fiber. For to-go snacks, buy fruit; it’s handier than vegetables, so it’s an easy way to up your fiber intake. One large apple has just as much fiber (5 g) as a cup of raw broccoli. Lara’s Note: See bathroom basics discussed in “drink 8 glasses of water”.

Sorry folks, it may sound easy…but it’s not. Otherwise, there’d be no Weight Watchers, no Jenny Craig and no Nutri-Systems. And basically, we’d all fit into our jeans. But then again, who knows?