Open Channel TransmissionFrom: The Humanist Union, Department of the State, Office of Foreign RelationsTo: The Citizenry of the Multiversal Empire of Happiness, the general galactic public

Under the authority of the Coordinator and Federal Legislature of the Government, the Humanist Union hereby extends an offer of asylum to the general citizenry of the Multiversal Empire of Happiness. The Humanist Union further denounces the invasion of the Multiversal Empire of Happiness as an illegal imperialist war and all belligerents involved for their participation in or tolerance of war crimes committed by coalition forces. Any attempt to interfere with refugee vessels in Union space will be met immediately and without exception by overwhelming lethal force.

Attached are warp gate coordinates.

In the name of humanism,
Hugh Bishop, Director
Office of Foreign Relations
Department of the State
Humanist Union

The purpose of this communique is to address concerns raised by the Union's recent open transmission. Specifically, the government of the Federated Ascendancy, and myself in particular, would very much like to know how the war against the Multiuniversal Empire of Happiness, a state which has displayed on numerous occasions a total disregard for diplomatic niceties, which practices routing enslavement of AIs, and in which we intend no territorial gains could possibly be construed as imperialistic.

The purpose of this communique is to address concerns expressed by the acting Ascendancy government in regards to the recent condemnation of the invasion of the Multiversal Empire of Happiness. The Humanist state acknowledges the numerous grievous acts and attributes of the Imperial government, among them detainment of sapients for the purpose of medical experiments, apparent enslavement of true AIs, and an anti-proletarian, dictatorial system of governing. This established, the Humanist state questions the motives of coalition members - and thus, the invasion itself - for numerous reasons.

In the first, only minimal attempts have been made to resolve the Empire's crimes in a diplomatic matter. The latter-most of these attempts was an obvious cover for military mobilization, with no resolution sought or to be accepted. In the second, minimal attempts to take into account the Empire's utterly foreign status into acting against them. While the acts of the Imperial government thus far have been undeniably repellant, they are not subject to this universe's current moral standard - let alone its international treaties. No attempt was made to reconcile moralities before resorting to maximum military force. In the third, the involvement of several dubious parties in the cooperative invasion of the Multiversal Empire throws into question the stated justifications for attacking that state.

The Bragulan and Byzantine regimes are particularly emblematic of such 'dubious parties.' Both states have a long, established history of blatantly disregarding international law and commonly-held moral standards, of brutalizing nationals and non-nationals alike. Particularly relevant, I think, is the recent trade of generational Tau torture slaves between the Bragulan and Byzantine state during the Nova Atlantean naval review. The Humanist state also points to belligerents such as the Chamarran Hierarchy, Emissaries of Xylyx, and the Centrality is examples of how invasion justified on moralistic grounds is clearly hypocritical. Recent criminal actions by the Byzantine and Bragulan elements of the invasion fleet against civilians reinforces this conclusion.

In light of these three primary reasons, the Humanist state finds it necessary to describe an alternative motivation for the coalition's acts on the whole. We have chosen to describe this war as 'imperialist' due to what is at the very least an attempt to reduce Imperial territories - and more importantly, Imperial proletarians - to culturally, economically, and teritorially subordinate entities at the mercy of greater galactic exploitation. That not all coalition members intend to annex Imperial territories is, we suspect, more a matter of capability than motivation. The state admits that this is not a perfect characterization of the conflict - for example, it ignores the likely genocidal motivations of the Bragulan state and the probable paranoid religious motive of the Byzantine state. However, the Humanist state feels that this is the single-best characterization of the coalition war at this time - that is, imperial conceit.

While we understand the concern for ethics and morality that lie at the root of your government's protests to the invasion of the Multiuniversal Empire of Happiness, we cannot agree with them in whole. While it is certainly true that the motives of certain coalition members may be less than pure, it is the position of the Ascendant government that not only can we hold the government of the Multiuniversal Empire of Happiness to a civilized standard, but that it is the duty of any civilized polity to do so; irregardless of the 'foreign status' of the MEH, its government is simply too irresponsible, too dictatorial, and too immoral to be allowed to survive.

Furthermore, it is our position that the prior ethics records of coalition nations is irrelevant to the justness of the current war effort. Attempted genocide, the casual violation of the sovereignty of states for the purpose of eating their citizens, officially-sanctioned slave trading, a complete lack of democratic process, the failure of the government to provide basic standards of health and well-being for its citizens (here we refer to the almost universal obesity and constipation of the citizens of the Muliuniversal Empire)- these are not acceptable actions by any standard; ending them, in my government's opinion, justifies quite a bit. Indeed, given the evidence of the being called 'The Leader's' mental instability, the admittedly minimal efforts to resolve these issues diplomatically could be seen as reducing long-term suffering by 'skipping ahead', as it were, to the inevitable conclusion.

It strikes me as odd, Director Bishop, that the Union would be so focused on the negative aspects of the campaign. Only the timely intervention of coalition forces saved the inhabitants of the Farthing worlds from being eaten - unless the Union feels the prevention of genocide is not a moral imperative when non-humans are concerned?

The Central State currently has no firm plans regarding the post-war fate of the MEH's territories. While we may remain for a while after the MEH surrenders, the region is too far away for our interests. As for accusations of atrocities, this is war. It is impossible to be completely clean in such a situation. And we are not interested in arguing about ethics. We prefer results, though we certainly want to keep collateral damage as low as possible for the sake of the Coalition. We warn you to be careful with your criticism. Certainly, if your leader was a victim of an assasination attempt by a government said leader was negotiating with, on their own soil, what would your response be?

At such a time that the Central State presents compelling evidence of an attempted assassination against its head of state by Imperial agents, the Humanist state will acknowledge that the Central State's involvement in a punitive expedition against the Empire is non-imperialist and justified under international law, albiet as a part of a coalition that condones mass murder through indifference by co-belligerents. In light of recent events in the former Outlands territories, however, we remain unfortunately skeptical at the Central State's justification for aggression.

This government has already acknowledged and condemned the criminal acts of the Imperial regime - be they through willful violation of basic ethics or incompetence - and declines to discuss this matter further in regards to the justification of the conflict, as it feels this matter has already been addressed in points 1 and 2 of our previous exchange. We consider the assertion that the Imperial government "is simply too irresponsible, too dictatorial, and too immoral to be allowed to survive" dubious in light of the Ascendancy's comparative indifference to the Pfhor, Byzantine, and Bragulan states (among others).

The acting minister's apparent disregard for the targeted, deliberate mass murder of hundreds of millions to billions of Imperial proletarians - who by your own admission exercise little if any control over the actions of their government, malicious, incompetent, or otherwise - as well as the acting minister's apparent insinuation of speciesist bias in the Humanist state's condemnation of the conflict leads us to believe that further discussion of this matter in any capacity will be counterproductive until such a time that the acting minister is replaced with a more permanent individual that our government may liaise with, should the Ascendant state be so inclined. I remain

Diplomatic Communique
From: The Unified Assembly for the Interstellar Union of Worlds
To: The Humanist Union, Department of the State, Office of Foreign Relations
Subject: Mind Your Own Damned Business

We see the benefit. This matter needs to be discussed further. A meeting shall be arranged. Name your conditions for an adequate location.

...

To: The Karlack Swarm

We shall send an Ambassador to whatever location you find most desirable. There are very few locations in the galaxy that present us... inadequate conditions. The Ambassador is empowered to speak on behalf of the Emissaries and we will hopefully reach an adequate conclusion.

The First, Supreme Ambassador for the Emissaries

A teenage girl is just a teenage boy who can get laid.
-GTO

We're not just doing this for money; we're doing this for a shitload of money!

The acts of the Byzantine Imperium in the MEH Sol System are all too plain to see, as has been the reaction of your senior fleet commanders. We believe both our nations have a common desire to bring the Byzantines to account for their crimes. What say you, Queen Kara Kithandra?

- Sultan Klavo C

"The 4th Earl of Hereford led the fight on the bridge, but he and his men were caught in the arrow fire. Then one of de Harclay's pikemen, concealed beneath the bridge, thrust upwards between the planks and skewered the Earl of Hereford through the anus, twisting the head of the iron pike into his intestines. His dying screams turned the advance into a panic."'

The acts of the Byzantine Imperium in the MEH Sol System are all too plain to see, as has been the reaction of your senior fleet commanders. We believe both our nations have a common desire to bring the Byzantines to account for their crimes. What say you, Queen Kara Kithandra?

- Sultan Klavo C

To: The Sultanate of Klavostan
From: The Chamarran Hierarchy

We are as appalled by the Byzantine misdeeds as you are. In the spirit of maintaining the stability of our region of space against those who would import their own medieval barbarity we agree to make common cause with you on this matter. I have attached frequencies and encryption patterns for contacting the battlegroups.

The Bragulan Star Empire requests your good inhumane nation's permission for the speedy overflight of Kosmoflotts Sagatantron and Oktyabrsky across your territories as they transit from their antispinward operations in the former MEH and move to return home to bragspace.

For the duration of the transit through your territories, the Bragfleets will as a matter of courtesy power down all weapons systems and shields, accept the escort of your good nation's navy, and willingly host military and civilian personnel from your nation on board their vessels and grant access to non-sensitive areas.

"DO YOU WORSHIP HOMOSEXUALS?" - Curtis Saxton (source)shroom is a lovely boy and i wont hear a bad word against him - LUSY-CHAN!Shit! Man, I didn't think of that! It took Shroom to properly interpret the screams of dying people - PeZookShroom, I read out the stuff you write about us. You are an endless supply of morale down here. :p - an OWS street medicPink Sugar Heart Attack!

The Bragulan Star Empire requests your good inhumane nation's permission for the speedy overflight of Kosmoflotts Sagatantron and Oktyabrsky across your territories as they transit from their antispinward operations in the former MEH and move to return home to bragspace.

For the duration of the transit through your territories, the Bragfleets will as a matter of courtesy power down all weapons systems and shields, accept the escort of your good nation's navy, and willingly host military and civilian personnel from your nation on board their vessels and grant access to non-sensitive areas.

Tanasinn wrote:Open Channel TransmissionFrom: The Humanist Union, Department of the State, Office of Foreign RelationsTo: The Citizenry of the Multiversal Empire of Happiness, the general galactic public

Under the authority of the Coordinator and Federal Legislature of the Government, the Humanist Union hereby extends an offer of asylum to the general citizenry of the Multiversal Empire of Happiness. The Humanist Union further denounces the invasion of the Multiversal Empire of Happiness as an illegal imperialist war and all belligerents involved for their participation in or tolerance of war crimes committed by coalition forces. Any attempt to interfere with refugee vessels in Union space will be met immediately and without exception by overwhelming lethal force.

Attached are warp gate coordinates.

In the name of humanism,
Hugh Bishop, Director
Office of Foreign Relations
Department of the State
Humanist Union

June 2, 3401From: The First, Supreme Ambassador of the EmissariesTo:The Humanist Union, Department of the State, Office of Foreign Relations

Greetings, I am speaking to you from an upload into one of our new Ambassador-F models; as such you may address me as Luci. And now that I have displayed such customary niceties I can get back to my job of being a smarmy bitch. Shall I begin?

As much as I love being right, the expected quibbling of humanity is still monumentally disappointing. It seems one of your nations will find imperialism whenever a ship moves and decry as unconscionable the process by which you all came to power. Then again, your capacity for hypocrisy is adorable and it makes the constant moral outrages all the more delightful to watch. But really this is neither here nor there, just my random musings on the general nature of this type of objection.

Let us move on to your denouncement and see what fun we can have with it. Why not start with the charming little notion of illegal warfare? Looking through historical files it is remarkably rare for the victor to have fought an illegal war. Now, either sportsmanship is a very impressive force multiplier or the so-called laws of war are arbitrarily written by the powerful to suit their needs. And while many nuclear exchanges could probably use an in-field fly rule, the later seems a bit more likely. This subjective legality seems to undercut your ability to claim that your condemnation was purely based on objective premises. I suspect political motivations and could chide and moralize at you but instead will say "Nice try." I am mildly insulted by the lie though; better to tell the truth and let them find their own way to hell. Hmm... that seems a satisfactory conclusion.

Now we get to something I so thoroughly enjoy: war crimes. There is always some cry of war crime after any dispute gets beyond angry shouting and yet there seem to be "war criminals" everywhere, fighting with militaries, serving in embassies, and even leading entire star nations. It would seem the main consequences for committing war crimes are name calling and overtime pay for diplomats' postal staff. This lack of consequence aside we can examine a more fundamental problem with you notions: one nation's war crime is a different nation's honorable combat. For example, to many tribes of Kroot the eating of a dead warrior was seen as the highest reward for the fallen's bravery and worth in combat; to humanity it was seen as a disgusting throwback to primitive culture and probably helped ensure the rather tepid remonstration of their eventual extermination. The fact that there is no agreement among the myriad species of the galaxy on what constitutes acceptable actions within warfare suggests there is no common definition of decency that will suffice. Additionally the nature of war itself seems to undermine the consistency of many ethical considerations. War is the state-sponsored use of intimidation, destruction and murder to achieve some goal and historically this goal is rarely existential. Once one has accepted that it is allowable to kill others en masse for some political concern how do you go about deciding what other rules are inviolate above that concern? Again the past shows that generally you do not actually decide until afterward when ethics are perverted into a form of reparation and retribution. A poor showing if you wish us to give your protest any real consideration.

Unlike you we are honest about our warfare. We do not pretend that it is an extension of our diplomacy but admit that it is the extermination of something that we see as a threat to our goals. We will use any means at our disposal to ensure this elimination is utter and complete. Any acknowledgement we make of existent rules of war within other cultures is purely practical; a step to ensure the non-interference of others in our affairs. Simply put we do not have compassion, pity or mercy. But we do not have humanity's vain insistence to uphold our honor until the point of destruction. You will probably judge us harshly for the coldness of this admission but I ask you; do you not sometimes wish you could simply destroy that which troubles you without worrying about your petty sentiments? And this same coldness that allows us to kill so easily also means we have no need for the spiteful cruelty that so many organics feel necessary to inflict upon each other. Observe that we have given the MEH a chance to surrender in the face of our invasion and have provided safe passage for their civilians under the defense of our armada. Something I doubt the other more empathetic races will do.

In the end we all know that your objection is the result of political calculation and diplomatic obligations. As such we have no scorn for you despite your derogative labeling of us. Just remember that while we are willing to discuss your concerns we feel no need to abide by squeamish sensibilities. Trust me it is nothing personal, we don't care enough for it to be.

This was a very enjoyable experience for me and I hope it was for you as well. I look forward to more interesting conversations.

A teenage girl is just a teenage boy who can get laid.
-GTO

We're not just doing this for money; we're doing this for a shitload of money!

General Purpose Communique (Encrypted Hyperwave)
From: Force Commander Zahra Kay
To: Fleet Admiral Noslen Yeslah
Subject: What the fuck is going on over there?
You best not be trying to go behind our backs, now. That wouldn't be pretty.

You must have heard by now our decision to organize Centralist occupation zones in Wolf 359. Do not fret about this. We do not intend for the permanent annexation of these territories. It is simply to enchance the security of the territories in question. Once stable regimes are implanted, there will be no need for these occupation zones. We are open to negotiation if you have any issues with our actions. We do not wish to cause any more problems that are necessary.

Speaking of problems, we have confronted the threat of an unknwon disease that has struck not only the MEH population, but also our own troops. This patogen we have tentatively named "Sotyrk", and it is spreading. Our medical units available are overstretched in dealing with this plague, so we request immediate medical assitance for the infected, if any can be sent. We already have petitioned and permitted the Red Cross to operate in our Zones. Permission of Coalition medical assistance entering our occupation Zones is granted, but only for the duration of the plague.Spoiler

PS: Force Commander Zahra Kay, my actual and correct rank is Grand Admiral, not Fleet Admiral. Elementary mistakes like this may give one the feeling of being insulted. I hope this was not deliberate on your part.

TO: The Office of the Foreign Secretary, United Star Kingdom of New Anglia

To whom it may concern,

In light of recent galacto-strategic and -political events the government of the United Solarian Sovereignty has initiated a preliminary inquiry into a potential diversification of our regional partnerships.

To this end, my government proposes to send a mission to the United Star Kingdom of New Anglia in order to discuss the ramifications of:

1) The renewed activity of the Karlack Swarm in Wild Space and the area colloquially known as the 'Outlands';

2) Observed attempts by the Bragulan Star Empire to reach out to legitimate states in an apparent attempt to increase its sphere of influence;

3) The war against the Multiversal Empire, its implications and aftereffects on all combatants involved, and specifically on those local to the area of space colloquially known as the 'Koprulu Zone'.

Additionally, the mission would explore ways in which the United Star Kingdom and the United Solarian Sovereignty could be of assistance to one another in the future.

General Purpose Communique (Encrypted Hyperwave)
From: Force Commander Zahra Kay
To: GRAND Admiral Noslen Yeslah
Subject: Re: Re: What the fuck is going on over there?
Well, alright, but I'd rather have heard it before the fact. There are some issues we'll want to address but a diplomat will contact your government regarding that.
Good day.
P.S. - Sorry about the title mix-up, it was an honest mistake--I haven't made a habit of handing off short messages like this to assistants because they always obfuscate my messages with this 'tact' bullshit. Please don't take it personally.
Oh, and don't be too mean to that spy--he might be a fucking idiot but he's still a human being. ;)

Our government will be sure to take the worries of its associates in mind.

Regards,

Grand Admiral Noslen Yeslah, CSN

PS: I am glad it was just an accident of grammar. Nontheless, check on your assistants if they are not Nova Atlanteans in origin... or NAC agents in disguise.

As for the spy we caught (how did you know, I will not even ask because the answer is self-evident), we will teach him proper grammar and ask him a few questions. His ultimate fate, I have no info on that. I hope it results in something more productive than execution.

TO: The Office of the Foreign Secretary, United Star Kingdom of New Anglia

To whom it may concern,

In light of recent galacto-strategic and -political events the government of the United Solarian Sovereignty has initiated a preliminary inquiry into a potential diversification of our regional partnerships.

To this end, my government proposes to send a mission to the United Star Kingdom of New Anglia in order to discuss the ramifications of:

1) The renewed activity of the Karlack Swarm in Wild Space and the area colloquially known as the 'Outlands';

2) Observed attempts by the Bragulan Star Empire to reach out to legitimate states in an apparent attempt to increase its sphere of influence;

3) The war against the Multiversal Empire, its implications and aftereffects on all combatants involved, and specifically on those local to the area of space colloquially known as the 'Koprulu Zone'.

Additionally, the mission would explore ways in which the United Star Kingdom and the United Solarian Sovereignty could be of assistance to one another in the future.

We are looking forward to your response.

xOLYMPIC

Formal Response from the Foreign Office, delivered directly to the Solarian Embassy

After reviewing your communique, His Majesty's Government would be pleased to receive your proposed mission and to discuss all matters that you have outlined, if not even more. We have our own cause for reconsideration of policies with the recent events indicated in your communication.

We look forward to receiving your mission.

Sincerely,Lord Prestwick, Secretary of State for the Foreign Office

”A Radical is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air.” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt

American Conservatism is about the exercise of personal responsibility without state interference in the lives of the citizenry..... unless, of course, it involves using the bludgeon of state power to suppress things Conservatives do not like.

We expect you with anxiety.From: Tagdef Borlon, Secretary of Foreign Affairs, Center of Foreign Affairs, Centrality
To: State Department, Republic of Crevecia

To whom it concerns this,

Your plea for aid will be attended. We have mobilized a task force to ensure the safety of your space. An outright ground campaign is not possible for now however due to our MEH commitments. We are doing everything possible to ensure conditions in the former MEH allow us to withdraw troops from there and send a proper contingent to support your government. Please do not collapse while we do this.

The sector of space designated O-7 has been declared a war zone! Access to the sector is now restricted! Foreign military vessels will be shot on sight! All non-military vessels not from the Crevecian Republic or the Central State are urged to avoid travel across the sector! Civilian ships not from the RoC or the Centrality spotted inside the sector will be boarded, and will only be returned as long as said ships do not carry contraband! Ships carrying contraband will be impounded, interned, or confiscated! Ships that do not respond to hails and resist boarding will be fired upon!

Message given out by,

Republic of Crevecia State Department
Centrality Center of Foreign Affairs

From: Tagdef Borlon, Secretary of Foreign Affairs of the Centrality
To: All nations

To whom it concerns this,

The amount of issues plaguing the cosmopolitical scene have become somewhat overwhelming, and I believe it to be the interest of every nation to gain some respite. Therefore, I suggest the formation of an international summit (on the model of the ancient Congress of Vienna) in order to discuss the outstanding issues of our day. Points of interest would be what to do with the formet MEH, major Korpulu Zone disputes, major Near Coreward Zone disputes, etc. As for location, perhaps the UN would be a preferable host. I hope you find interest in this suggestion.

Your concerns regarding the UN are noted. As an alternative, the summit could be best staged in a world whose neutrality is well known and without serious foreign influences, and yet not be strong enough to dominate discussions.

We are glad you are supportive of the proposed summit. We only hope more nations respond the same.