Funny, how someone whom I really care and admire would turn out to be the person that I hated most these days. Haha, yesterday, when I was busy chatting people up on the yahoo messenger, this particular person, out of nowhere said to me

xx : salam.

me : wslam.

xx : ngah watpe?

me : xde pape. Ngah bce blog kwn.

xx : sehat?

me : em, ok je. X skt pape pun.

That’s all. Wth? I’ve haven’t heard anything from xx for like, forever, and that’s all xxgot to say to me? Well, to be exact, we haven’t seen each other for almost 3 years now. We manage to stay in touch by phones and internet, but that’s rarely the case these days. Frankly speaking, xxwould only text me when xxfeels like it. Damn it. I hate it when a person that I really care does that to me. What? Does xxthinks that I’m some sort of rag doll where you play with when you want to and toss around when you’re bored with it? Well, f*** xxfor thinking that. If you don’t want to hear from me anymore, just say it. Don’t go around messing with my feelings. Coz, honestly I’ve been trying really hard to forget ‘bout xx. When, I finally managed to do that. Here xxcomes and ruins everything. Argh! Damn.

Hm, it has been a while since I posted anything in English. Em, somehow I like to express myself in malay coz fortunately I’m a true blue malay since birth. Well, here goes nothing.

I’ve always like to write when I’m in school, but, I’ve never picture myself as a writer. Coz, apparently, my future is fixed with me being a doctor. I’ve never actually plan my whole life, I juz kept waiting for something to drop on my lap and let the course of my life take its own path. Well, in the near future I’ll be attending classes for my mbbs. And I sure am hope that I could cope with all the things that are waiting for me. Frankly speaking, I’m really glad to know that a bunch of my friends from pasum are taking mbbs in um as well. Coz, honestly, I really need them for their support. I couldn’t possibly imagine how my life would turn out during these coming years. Will I manage or not? Would I regret my decision? Am I going to be a better person? I’ve never thought about any of these before. But, as I’m sitting here alone in my room, now I wonder. Hm, let’s not talk ‘bout this anymore shall we? Cuz, I don’t want to mess with things that are still uncertain.

A man spent hours watching a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. It managed to make a small hole, but its body was too large to get through it. After a long struggle, it appeared to be exhausted and remained absolutely still. The man decided to help the butterfly and, with a pair of scissors, he cut open the cocoon, thus releasing the butterfly. However, the butterfly's body was very small and wrinkled and its wings were all crumpled. The man continued to watch, hoping that, at any moment, the butterfly would open its wings and fly away. Nothing happened; in fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its brief life dragging around its shrunken body and shrivelled wings, incapable of flight.

What the man - out of kindness and his eagerness to help - had failed to understand was that the tight cocoon and the efforts that the butterfly had to make in order to squeeze out of that tiny hole were Nature's way of training the butterfly and of strengthening its wings.