You don’t ever have to act again

Even though the sound quality was sh-t, and I don’t blame him for that, and even though his vocals weren’t the best they’ve ever been, what Justin Timberlake threw down last night was, well, as my friend Michelle wrote to me halfway during his performance, “This medley helps explain his ego problem. I’d have one too”.

There are those who don’t think JT deserves the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award…yet. JT might agree with that, unless you think he was humble-fronting and that very well may be the case. But in those almost-20 minutes he spent on stage, you could also see it as a message of sorts to the artists in the audience watching him work: will you be able to deliver like this in 10 years?

You don’t ever have to act again, JT. WHY can’t this be enough? Because, frankly, he will never achieve on film what he did last night at the VMAs. EVER.

Did you hear what JT said just before the other members of ‘N SYNC joined him?

“You asked for it. You asked for it.”

Sh-t, if only he could be so accommodating with the acting. We are asking you to STOP ACTING. Hear this.

And what of ‘N SYNC? Borrowed the Beyonce trap door move, didn’t he? Except at least Michelle and Kelly had the honour of being dropped down into the dungeon at the Super Bowl, a much grander occasion. And Beysus made sure those hatches worked properly so her bandmates could be discarded efficiently. How sad were you for JC Chasez, wailing a final “babbyyyyyy”, before getting sent into the gutter? Poor Joey Fatone’s escape route was busted and he had to jump down someone else’s. Now would you rather be invited, even with a broke down trap door, or not be included at all…?

Where was Mrs Timberlake? She was tweeting about it. But I didn’t see her, nor have I heard any mention of her. Don’t tell me she was on a job either. Because HAHAHAHAHAHA and also, there is no way that she wouldn’t have wanted to Taylor Swift her way through his set, only even more uncoordinated.

It comes down to this:

JT already had to give ‘N SYNC a 15% cut of his air time. He wasn’t letting anyone else get in, not even his wife. It’s enough that I married you, isn’t it?

PS. Viacom is such a bitch about their footage, this is the only clip I could find and I don’t have time to sift through all the fakes. It’s a reverse angle but at least it works.