If Opinion Polls Decided Everything...

When Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace claimed that "judicial activism" was to blame for the Golden State's (re-)legalization of gay marriage, lawyer Ted Olson — who successfully argued the case in court — provided a basic civics lesson: "That's why we have judges... to make sure that when we vote for something, we're not depriving minorities of their constitutional rights." He then asked Wallace, "Would you like Fox's right to free press put up to a vote?"

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Wallace admitted that "after your appearance today, I don't understand how you ever lost a case in the Supreme Court." But what if America didn't really have a judicial system? Under a direct democracy where the voters would make every decision, the Left would get its way some of the time, the Right would get its way some of the time — and everyone would probably be miserable.

The Founding Fathers abhorred such a system: James Madison worried that overzealous mobs would "sacrifice the weaker party," and Alexander Hamilton proclaimed that "democracies in which the people themselves deliberated never possessed one good feature of government" because "[t]heir very character was tyranny." Let's gaze into an alternate universe where the wigged old men had felt differently while drafting the Constitution...

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1. Marijuana Would Be Legal (Kinda)

According to an ABC News/Washington Post poll, 81 percent of Americans support legalizing marijuana for medical purposes. So if you suffer from terrible headaches — like, the kind impervious to two or even three Advils — you'd be in luck under direct democracy. Back in reality, however, don't hold your breath. The Supreme Court ruled in 2005 that federal law supersedes state law on the issue. And even though the Obama Justice Department initially signaled that it would tolerate medicinal use, the DEA is still arresting people. (Ironically, Washington, D.C. — not being a state — is the only place in the country where patients can legally smoke.) If you're a recreational user, however, populist rule won't change your paranoid life: 54 percent of Americans oppose marijuana for the sake of fun. And for some people, that's a headache.

2. Gay People Couldn't Marry — but Would Have More Rights

Same-sex marriage is steadily gaining acceptance, especially with younger voters, but Gallup found that 53 percent of Americans continue to oppose it. Strangely, this does not signify widespread homophobia; a majority approve of civil unions, and a whopping 70 percent support allowing gays in the military. The latter will most likely happen when the Pentagon finishes its review of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"; Congress gave its permission for an overturn, as long as the military agrees, and Obama has promised support. The marriage issue could very well go before the Supreme Court within the next couple years. For the time being, it's a tossup as to whether gay Americans would fare better under direct democracy; it depends on whether they'd prefer commitment to their partners or the armed forces.

3. Creationism Would Be Taught in Public Schools

The separation of church and state, one of our founding principles, isn't particularly popular with an electorate that largely doubts the tenets of Darwinism. Seriously: between 64 percent (Pew) and 76 percent (Gallup) of Americans support teaching "intelligent design" alongside evolution. And 38 percent would chuck evolution altogether. However, back in 1968 the Supreme Court ruled that evolution has a place in the classroom, and that creationism cannot receive equal time. This would probably change under President Sarah Palin, a world-class biologist who recommends: "Teach both. You know, don't be afraid of education. Healthy debate is so important, and it's so valuable in our schools. I am a proponent of teaching both."

4. Abortion Would Be Illegal (Most of the Time)

As of last year, more Americans defined themselves as "pro-life" than pro-choice, reversing a decades-long consensus. However, the definitions of each are somewhat blurry: 57 percent would allow abortion in some circumstances — presumably sexual assault, incest and medical necessity — while only 18 percent would ban the procedure outright. Only 21 percent believe that it should be legal in all cases, as Roe v. Wade permits, which has made abortion the central issue in Supreme Court nominations since then — and it's why we have no idea what nominees actually believe until they're confirmed. You're free to have opinions now, Elena.

5. We'd Leave Afghanistan Right Now

A mere 41 percent of Americans consider Afghanistan winnable, and a plurality would rather just end it than attempt to emerge victorious, according to Rasmussen. ABC News and the Washington Post found that 52 percent believe the war is "not worth it." But with 30,000 more troops on the way — and both major political parties backing the campaign, never mind whatever Michael Steele thinks — the American people won't get their way anytime soon. (Then again, we got our way in the first place. Be careful what you wish for — especially when you're angry.)

6. There'd Be Fewer Immigrants

A federal judge blocked the most controversial provisions of Arizona's immigration law, but the voters would've decided otherwise: 57 percent of Americans supported the law and the same number want a similar one in their states, even though the majority admit that Hispanic citizens will probably get harassed. Furthermore, 78 percent believe the government could do more to keep illegal immigrants out of the country. However, the masses will not get satisfaction anytime soon; too many judges believe in equal protection, and too many politicians — including the occasional Republican such as Meg Whitman — believe in courting the Hispanic vote, which would be futile if those voters are accidentally deported.

7. Taxes Would Go Down — Unless You're Rich

Sixty percent of Americans have no problem raising taxes on people who earn $250,000 or more per year (and 70 percent want to raise taxes on those who earn $1 million or more), according to Quinnipiac University pollsters — just as Obama pledged during his campaign. However, the vast majority do not wish higher taxes on themselves. Whether this proves that we're all Welfare-Loving Commies or Real American Tea Partiers is up for debate, but it does prove that a direct democracy would be all over the ideological spectrum. Power to the people? Depends on the issue.