First, you have to carefully broach the topic of love with a potential mate as the encounter could turn deadly. Here's where NeatoShop artist Matt Wiley's cheeky Klingon Valentines come in handy.

The Valentine's Day Card features Klingon-worthy aphorisms, including "Love is a battlefield / And We will love victoriously," "You stole my heart / I would have given you mine. I have two" and "The empire doesn't seem as mighty without you / Will you fight by my side?"

With these Klingon Valentine's Day Cards in hand, pretty soon, you'll be ducking heavy objects.

Ready for the next step? As the romantic Worf once said, be prepared to duck a lot: