You are a Magical Girl. There are times - a lot of times - when you wish that you weren't one.

This is not one of those times. Funnily enough, you can actually say that to your own reflection in the mirror right this moment and not laugh at the blatant, bare-faced lie you've just told yourself. You're still the same booze-swilling, painkiller-addicted ne'er-do-well with a fancy costume and an itchy trigger finger - but you feel that somehow things are turning around. Somewhat.

You probably shouldn't say that, however. You might jinx yourself.

Worse, the black-eyed monstrosity hiding in your Shield may be listening.

As far as you can tell, it's morning in Siberia. You've arrived earlier by plane, then by chinook. Somewhere along the way you've committed your very first act of larceny in this particular country - or at least, as far as you can remember - and somehow, you felt really good when you did that. Did you commit such heinous crimes for a hobby back then, or was it just the thrill of the moment, doing something so incredibly risky and yet basically being assured that you'd get away scot free while doing so?

One or the either, no one is going to suspect a whisky-reeking cunt in a Magical Girl costume like you of stealing an entire wing's worth of MiG-21's. Where would you have hidden them, under your skirt?

In any case. You're inside the rather heavily-guarded - you swore you could see some bipedal shapes as tall as an entire building, half-hidden by the snow, stomping around the perimeter - and heavily-fortified base that Kyuubey calls the Research and Development facility of the Officio Assassinorum. You're at the floor where apparently, your former partner and fellow Magical Girl Kharn pals around with the facility's own Director, which is coincidentally your arms dealer's ne'er-do-well of an older brother. You just gave him porn after calling him a basement dweller, which is technically and historically correct - and from the way he stared at you, he doesn't really have that nice of a first impression of the Officio's upcoming Warmaster. He'd said so himself, anyway.

Heh. Warmaster.

The rank is...well, it sounds nice. It rolls off the tongue very naturally, too.

And you know you'll never be able to deserve it no matter what you do.

Kharn is away at the moment, gone to stuff some dangerous cargo into the base's vault or something or other. The director - his name's, well, you've already forgotten it - is somewhere around here, with the porn you gave him. Misaka is sleeping in her quarters. You're left alone for the moment along with Midori.

You're free to look around. You have a bit of time to kill until the Glorious Bear Hunting Party is assembled for some Glorious Bear Hunting. Alcohol may be heavily involved.

Where do you go?

[]The kitchen. Get some booze, see if Midori can cook some takoyaki for Kharn.[]Look for Souji. Try to get started off the right foot, or at least make it clear that you're not as bad as him.[]Investigate Souji's and Kharn's room.[]Go to sleep. You need the rest, and it's not like you're planning to sleep tonight anyway.

>>20423596[X]Look for Souji. Try to get started off the right foot, or at least make it clear that you're not as bad as him.

We're getting groomed to be Warmaster, we need to get our people skills up to snuff, this is a good opportunity for that. We may be a whisky drinking, chain smoking, pill popping, anti-social, depressed, fuck up. But we do our job and if our job consists of diplomacy we'll work at it, we'll never be Mami-tier but we can get better.

[x]The kitchen. Get some booze, see if Midori can cook some takoyaki for Kharn.We should try discussing with Midori the Iori incident while we still have some peaceful time left. We should also discuss the full extent of her abilities, illusion and fighting, so we can start incorporating tactics with her.

This. We've been saying it for ages now, and we've touched on it briefly, but we need to nail down exactly how we can work with Midori's illusions. Hell, we can get her to show us some examples when we're bear hunting.

It's been a while since you last tried to finish off your liver, and admittedly your throat is rather dry and your hands have been a bit twitchy - but you decide to forgo the drink for now while you and your subordinate case the kitchen of this part of the R&D branch.

It's a small one and clearly meant for two (there's a dining table set for a pair at the far end of it) but it's well-stocked enough that you're sure a small group could sufficiently last for a while if a siege situation ever came up. Hell, there's even instant noodles, the kind you hurriedly sucked down just so the alcohol you'd be drowning yourself with later doesn't knock you out as fast.

You ask Midori - who's been quietly hanging behind you the entire time, seemingly miffed about something - if she can make takoyaki, and if she could, is it doable with the stuff you've found here?

She stares at you for a moment, before she lets out a tiny sigh, and then shrugs.

"...Figure I could, Sempai. She's got a takoyaki maker stashed behind the blender there, poor thing looks like it hasn't been used for a long time. There's cabbage in the crisper, pancake flour over there near the spice rack, and while I didn't see any octopus in their fridge I think squid can do in a pinch."

Good. You tell her to get to making some for Kharn, then. Not a whole lot, just a small batch to be nice. And, you privately think, to test whether or not your subordinate actually has any cooking skills.

"I'll make them for you, sempai." Midori suddenly says. "But not for her. I don't know her, and I damn well sure ain't cooking for someone I don't know."

>>20423568> You're inside the rather heavily-guarded - you swore you could see some bipedal shapes as tall as an entire building, half-hidden by the snow, stomping around the perimeter>some bipedal shapes as tall as an entire building

>>20423999It's loosely based on Madokaverse.We also have 40k, Idolmaster, Railgun stuffs in. Not sure we need more crossover.

>>20424012>I doubt it would be Eva's or titans given that they are only half the size of a building>some bipedal shapes as tall as an entire buildingReading comprehension, do you have it?As tall as a building works for Eva and smaller Titans. Way too big for a dreadnought.

While we want Midori to obey us, but this probably isn't worth fighting over. Besides, it gives us a chance to speak to her about her about several things that we want to know about. Such as filling her in about the Iori situation, asking her how to spot illusions and how to resist/shatter them, and other things.

>>20424068>Would It be worth photoshopping the bullets out/in it so that it was one frame per thread?I don't get it.But I don't think one frame per thread would work. Too much near-identical images (it's already strange when there is 2-3 close frames).

>>20424156 Eldritch Library, I'd only worry about a T-Rex in a secret labroratory if it failed to have linked gatling guns for arms. That's like cloning Sharks and neglecting to install lazers on their heads. Science does not approve.

Midori just stares at you, before blinking slowly and then shaking her head. A rather wistful smile on her face as she does so. "Heh...right, right. Of course. Sorry, sempai, for a moment there I forgot who I was talking to. Should've known that I was beaten before the battle already began, and all that." She sighs, before walking past you - and you feel that the air between you has slightly changed, from her nervous cordiality to a slight chilly one. "I'll make you your takoyaki, sempai. Feel free to share them with whoever you want, I don't care." She huffs, slightly. "Not too sure why I felt like I should, either."

There's a creak of rusty hinges and pans being slightly rustled around as your personal Callidus starts the process of making takoyaki. Well, they're squid balls, now, but besides that bit in the middle they should be the same.

You're not too sure what's up with Midori, but at least she's starting on it. If she works quickly enough, it'd be a nice surprise for Kharn when she gets back from wherever she was at the moment. For some reason, you feel awfully glad about that particular prospect. You may have been an awful person and forgotten all about her, but at least you're making it up to her little by little, right?

A series of sharp, quick thudding sounds alerts you in the direction of your subordinate - and you see Midori work disturbingly expertly with a cleaver, shredding a quarter head of cabbage into nothing but coleslaw. She's got a determined look set on her face, for some reason.

Maybe people who cook are generally like that? You're not exactly sure. But Mami never looked that way when you saw her cooking for you, however. She'd be humming some sort of tune or melody, bouncing from foot to foot, smiling as she made magic with her hands.

Real magic. Not the sort from a soul gem. Actual magic, with the ingredients you can easily find in any grocery store. True magic that warmed bodies just as much as it warmed hearts.

Man. You haven't been a day away, and you miss her already.

Another sharp, loud thud - loud enough to make you slightly start - and you turn to see Midori open the can of squid with the cleaver. Lopping the top off, and pouring out the brine into the sink.

Wow. People who know how to cook are really something.

You remember that you have something to talk to her about - and you've already broached her drawing porn of you, already. No one needs another refresher about that.

>>20424211>and you feel that the air between you has slightly changed, from her nervous cordiality to a slight chilly one.She is going the jelly/scorned route.Need more soulgem licking ASAP.Or I don't know. maybe do something nice for her for a change? We always treat her as an expendable subordinate.

>>20424238We should probably try to broach the topic of Iori, assuming that isn't going to further distress Midori at this point. Find out exactly what happened at that mission and how we can get Midori and Iori on speaking terms. Another topic for discussion is Midori's specific abilities so we can start planning tactics.

Sometimes, she's just going to have to roll with the punches. We just showed a ton of understanding and tolerance with saying that we were OK with the continued publication of Miracle Midori. If this is the most awful thing that she has to do while she's in our service, then that would be a miracle in itself.

I feel as if the subject of the ongoing situation with Iori is something that we need to get out into the air before this trip ends, although we may want to see if we can ease into the subject later on.

I'd say this might be a good time to ask her about the girl who witchified at Mami's apartment. We need to know if this was caused by a negligent incubator or if there's something fishy going on.

The girls in Kyubey's office all seem to know about the Magical Girl/Witch relation. Not sure if Midori's incubator was as forthcoming with that information or not. Whatever the case, I think this line of questioning is better than bringing up Iori right now.

Hmmm. What do we actually want to achieve in regards to Iori? If she remembers Midori through the post traumatic haze of the whole thing, then the two of them should never meet. She isn't going to get over Midori's involvement, and if we try and make her we'll completely alienate her, and possibly make her an enemy

>>20424370No.But how about getting Midori to dress up as Kharn and pretend to train us, then when Kharn asks us why we weren't training with her we tell her we were, and we'll have eyewitnesses to prove it.She'll be so confused.

>>20424429The problem is that Midori is our direct subordinate and thus will usually be with us while Iori may still harbor feelings for Matsuda and try to be with her thus the two are likely to meet regardless of how much we don't want them to. Trying to get some plan together to get Iori to not flip her shit is better than just doing nothing and waiting for it to all blow up in our faces.

That's a minefield that I'm not sure we can navigate. Maybe having Mami back us up could get Iori to forgive Midori for her invovement in The Idolmaster mission. If Midori was involved on the job that eventually drove Yayoi to suicide, then shit is never getting fixed.

So in that case, we need to find out exactly what Midori has been involved with. And as suggested, get Mami's advice before we combine the two. And since you are right about them meeting at some point, we need to talk to Mami before we leave Siberia.

I can see it now, we land, head through the gate, Iori is waiting for us holding some Mami pancakes and cutlery... then she sees Midori and tries to kill her with a fork. The tragedy being the potentially dropped pancakes of course.

You try to ignore this strange mood that's somehow come over what should be a relatively pleasant experience of cooking something for your host - well, having YOUR subordinate cook something for your host - and you bring up the subject about Witches in an almost casual way, sticking an unlit cigarette between your lips in the process.

You like to smoke, sure, and you go through more than two packs a day or so, but even you know that it's bad form to smoke inside a kitchen, while food is being made.

Only dung-shoveling yokels do that. Dung-shoveling yokels who get dragged outside and shot.

"What about Witches, Sempai?" Midori asks after a moment, not missing a beat as she murders more cabbage. Thud-thud-thud-thud, like an expert chef on one of those shows where one of the judges grins maniacally at the camera as if the judge was about to rape the camera's children, before taking a bite out of an airborne bell pepper that comes out of fucking nowhere.

"I've fought some before, and yes, before you ask, my Incubator - or rather, ex-Incubator - made it perfectly clear that it's what we turn into if we don't take care of ourselves. So no, you don't need to break it to me..." Another thud as she plants the smile of the cleaver into the wooden chopping block, before pushing past you to get the other ingredients ready. Flour, eggs, some sort of soy sauce. The takoyaki maker being quickly washed and the plate brushed with oil. "...like I'm some sort of novice."

You segue rather neatly into the incident where you found one of them in Mami's apartment, without any sort of preamble or warning. You're sure you never stepped into a barrier, either, while you approached it. Dodging the fact that you were the one to execute her - and you take a moment to prevent yourself from bragging, as it WAS a picture-perfect shot to begin with - you give her a physical description that she should be able to form a strong mental picture with. She stops in the middle of mixing the batter as she blinks towards you.

"That's...that sounds like Asuka Yuuri, Sempai. One of the girls that joined up with the Saints a while back. She never really gelled with the other members, and I heard she disappeared a few months ago." She shakes her head. "...It's...we thought she went rogue or something, joined up wih another agency, but witching out..."

Midori audibly swallows, and continues to mix the batter, albeit a bit slowly this time. "M-man. I guess it can really happen to anyone, huh...?"

[]Ask another question.[]Reassure her that if she ever witched out, you'll do your best to make her end painless.[]Let Midori cook in peace and do something else.

>>20424500>timestop>rescue pancakes>shut Pinky up with one>order Midori not to fight back>wait for Iori to tire herself out>comment on her terrible stabbing form>>20424520I was thinking of posting that.

>>20424523>[X]Reassure her that if she ever witched out, you'll do your best to make her end painless.Then>[X]Ask another question.Try to delicately segue into the Idolmaster case. As delicately as Matsuda can at any rate. Who knows much quiet time we'll get before we meet up with Iori again, so we should use what free time we get.

>>20424523[x]Ask another question.Is she aware of any other of her former Incubator's employees going missing without explanation?Also, anyone who used ostentatious golden weapons? We had a coworker like that.

>>20424664This. And if she gets defensive, just say it would feel weird to know -our- subordinate was attracted to our employer. That could cause problems, after all, and we need Midori to keep things professional while on the clock, just like we do with anyone we work for.

You idly check your own Soul Gem as the conversation turns into what people in your industry refers to as forced retirement - i.e. that part of the story where the heroine ends up as the villain, that life lesson where if you don't look out, you become the thing you hate (and are paid to exterminate). Endearingly termed 'witching out' - it's something Magical Girls are loathe to bring up or discuss, even in private. You're not too sure you should be bringing it up either, but you have and you are.

...Nope, you're still safe. A bit of black roiling inside it, but nothing major. You quietly ask for Midori to show you her gem, and she acquiesces, a tiny bit of her nervousness around you returning as the bauble manifests into reality - and she's clean, too. You nod at this, and she returns it into its inert form, as a ring around her left ring finger.

You begin to speak after she starts to make the actual takoyaki, now, pouring spoonfuls of batter into batches of shredded cabbage placed on each dimple on the maker, turning every half-formed savory treat every so often with a pair of long chopsticks. Adding more batter as they form into their trademark spherical shapes.

You tell her that should ever the time come that she witches out, you'll make sure she passes with dignity - and as little pain as you can afford. You can only hope that she does the same for you, too, should that ever come to pass.

>>20424779>bullying Midori>she turns witch>kills Iori/Misaka/Mami before we can take her out>all our fault

I'm not saying that we have to girlbone her, but we should at LEAST be nice to our friends and tolerable to our coworkers. We're sending her mixed signals and just generally being a cunt, which is something I thought we were trying to move away from.

>>20424845She could also decide that other people liking us gets in the way of us loving her, and only her, like we should. And then absolutely ruin all our friendships by pretending to be us and undermining everyone we care about, while telling us that it's not our fault and the others just don't trusts us as much as they should; as much as SHE does, because she loves us, and don't we love her too? Of course we love her, she's the only one left who even talks to us, and that's love, right? Even if everyone else abandons us, she never will, right? So we have to love her. WE HAVE TO LOVE HER OR ELSE!

>>20424887It's not that hard. We just tease her instead of being all "Hey Midori that porn you made of us was pretty good, I want to see more of it, oh by the way I'm going to go show affection to other girls and ignore you now, what's wrong are you upset are you frustrated but why? Now go make the other girl we supposedly don't even know some delicious food so we can give it to her as a present."

She looks at you in mid-takoyaki-flip, eyes wide, cheeks faintly crimsoning. And it's then that she turns back to her creations, which are starting to smell like actual food.

"A-as if you had to ask, sempai. Of course I will. Or rather, I'll try my best." Midori gives you a wan smile. "I'm not too sure if I can do something like that, myself, but I won't let you die alone, Matsuda-sempai."

You nod at this, the mood clearing up somewhat. That's good.

It's then that you ask her another question.

Did she really sleep with Iori? It's what you saw during her illusion, after all. Add to that, did she help in Yayoi getting raped, too?

You see the question jar Midori physically, making her flinch hard enough that she nearly drops the cooking chopsticks in her hands - and when she turns to look at you, you know that you've done something wrong. Even you can't miss something like that.

She turns back towards the takoyaki maker, silently, and continues to flip the now-roasting spheres of dough, cabbage and squid. Her movements quicker, but more robotic. You frown at this, and you make to ask the question again - and it's then that you get nine takoyaki, placed neatly in a bowl and drizzled rather professionally with hot sauce, thrust into your hands by the rims.

"I...I only helped. I never did anything with your precious idol, Matsuda-sempai." Midori's voice is brittle and cold, like the snow outside. "The worst I ever got was to cuddle with her in my underwear. I made you see that so you wouldn't get any ideas about getting close while I made her sleep. Coincidentally, she was the one who thought that scenario up, so your pure idol isn't as pure as you think."

She is our principle. She remains our principle. This may cause issues if she wants to murder our new, immediate subordinate, since it's going to be necessary for BOTH of you to spend a lot of time in our presence once we get back from Siberia.

"She's our employer, and nothing more. -Possibly- a friend, though it's not like she's ever going to actually understand what the whole Magical Girl thing is like. And you completely misunderstood why I was asking."

Guys, chill, this is standard for us. Now we get to show how much we've improved, by clarifying and not letting this get worse than it has to. This was never going to be a pleasant conversation, but we can make it bearable if we try really hard.

You frown at this. Where did she get the notion--? You open your mouth to object, to protest about your subordinate suddenly being so smart and astute that she's torn out the words out of your mouth even before you considered saying them.

"And no, I did not help in getting Takatsuki Yayoi raped. I don't know how they managed to pull that off, but I was only brought in when they heard that you were being brought in." There's a metal snap as she switches the takoyaki maker off, and she washes her hands again. "There. You have your takoyaki, sempai, and your answers. May I be excused, now?"

She doesn't wait for your reply as she pushes past you. "Good. I'll be in my room if you need me, and I'm sure you won't, not with Black Eyes Titty Monster eager to reconnect with you, sempai." She storms off in a huff, leaving you with a bowl of freshly-made takoyaki in your hands.

You flinch as you hear a door being slammed, and Souji shouting about not slamming the doors.

WE FOLLOW HER! WE FOLLOW AND WE explain calmly and carefully that she misunderstood what we were asking for, reinforce the fact that our intentions towards Kharn are just apologizing for forgetting our own Sempai, and that the time she accompanied us to Iori's place was to remind Iori she's just our employer and nothing more.

>>20425075Call Kharn. Tell her there's a present for her in the kitchen.Then go after Midori, and GET AUTHORITATIVE.If we let this shit get any further out of hand it could affect our work, and that can only lead to lots of people dying horribly.

We are improving. However, we must continue to be true to our character. We should try to fix this, but in a direct way.

Go to her door, knock 5 times, since it's our favourite number. If no answer, we knock the door down. We then explain that as our subordinate, if we're going to be interacting with our principal at all we need to know the full situation. And as a friend, we wanted to know what had happened. She may not like the question, but she almost enabled some pretty despicable things, so she can shut up and deal with it.

Now, even we can tell she is distressed, so unless she has anything else to add, that is the last we will speak of the whole incident.

Then add a sorry for making her upset. Because we're classy like that.

God help us if being a Warmaster means constantly dealing with overly hormonal teenage girls.We should explain to Midori that Iori was just an employer and that if we are to work with her we needed to clear up the Idolmaster case. As for Kharn, she just a friend and taken so don't be so jealous.

Pretty much. Though Mami is more of a mother figure than a love interest. I could see Chiaki trying, but it wouldn't get anywhere. We've already settled into our role as her enforcer quite nicely, and we don't even have the warmaster's cap.

>>20425181She's a young, confused girl and she's smitten as hell, God help her. I'm not saying let every girl in a frilly outfit walk all over us, but try to keep it in perspective. Plus, she is dealing with us.

True. It's only fairly recently our multiple personalities have learned to speak to one another civilly. Even if we do have not one, not two, but THREE trains in our head with us. And that is terrible.

At whatever point we apologize to Midori, we should mention that this is exactly what we warned her of when we said she should get the Full Murderface Experience before falling for us; we're horribly socially inept, we say the wrong thing and fail to pick up on anything short of an outright statement of facts, and we, to be entirely blunt as we always are, feel like we're a worthless prospect for a relationship ANYWAY. If that's going to cause problems like this one for her, and she can't handle it maturely, then she probably wouldn't be happy with us no matter what else happens.

>>20425205Why exactly is Midori so infatuated with Matsuda?The doujins were apparently a coincidence, Midori just need a dark magical girl for a character and Murderface happened to fit that description. She doesn't really know Matsuda at all besides some rumors so as far as I can tell she's just a fangirl.

The Iori scew-up is still pretty fresh in our minds. Maybe this time we should be more proactive.

[x]Find her, bang on the door. Whether or not she opens up, explain that we're not into Iori or Kharn like that, and that we weren't asking to offend her but to make sure we had all the facts in regards to our principle and the situation we nearly botched before, as well as a better idea of what Midori can do. And that maybe we didn't go about it in the most intelligent way. Apologize, thanks for the snacks, and then leave her to stew on it.

>>20425236>Why exactly is Midori so infatuated with Matsuda?>she's just a fangirl.You answered your own question.She is a teen fangirl. You can't get more crazy infatuated than that. It's all based on our reputation, the idea of ourself she built in her head and of course her doujin amplified the whole thing.

>>20425236I think she's cast us into the abrasive-but-ultimately-in-love-with-her role like that in her doujins, and we didn't help by giving her a stay of execution when most others would've killed her, telling her 'maybe later' when she wanted to confess, and so on.

The difference is that Iori was being a brat just because she thought we were sleeping around when she had some kind of claim to her or something.

Midori's being a brat because we're making her fucking cook for someone she's afraid of/doesn't like and treating her like a ladyservant, and then turned around and accused her of not only helping a team of rapists(which she loathed), but of actively sleeping with Iori under disguise, which is rape in itself.

Every time I read "The murderface experience" I think of it as being a cheap fair ground ride where you get sprayed with booze and cigarette smoke while waxwork teen lesbians declare their love for you.

>>20425295Not really. She did work with rapists after all so its only logical to assume that she did that already before we kneecapped her.

It seems that the only one who actually forgot that she was okay with assisting someone in childrape is Midori herself. Yes, I am aware that its not nice to bring that in the open, but this is how things stand.

You place the bowl of takoyaki down on the kitchen countertop, and you spear one of the doughy savory treats with a fork - a small puff of steam escaping from the piping-hot ball of cabbage and squid. You pop it into your mouth before it disintegrates on the fork's prongs, and you wince slightly as the overt spiciness - and the temperature - of the takoyaki stings your tongue. You chew after a few moments, and swallow carefully.

It's...it's certainly not Mami's cooking. But it's decent. Certainly better than the ones you've had from stands and stalls and such. Actually, if you didn't judge everything by the benchmark that is Mami's cooking, you'd say it was good.

There's a clank of metal as Kharn steps into the kitchen, a puzzled expression on her face.

"Murderface, did something happen? Your subordinate nearly crashed into me earlier while I was on my way back. She apologized, but it was clear her heart was not into it. And--" It's then that she stops, and sniffs the air. "What is that divine smell--ah!" Her red-pinned midnight eyes swivel towards the bowl of takoyaki in front of you, and she takes in the rest of the kitchen - including the now-cooling takoyaki maker. "You...you made takoyaki for me, Murderface? After I have so selfishly insinuated that you should?"

>>20425386[X]Let her eat. Go to Midori and apologize.Mention our subordinate made them after we asked her and that maybe she should et to know her so that she sees that they have more in common than she believes.

>>20425427I believe It like taking animals home.At first, It's cute and adorable but then you have to feed It, pay It your attention and sometimes take It outside and nobody in the house wants to do that.I mean, I we are to take care of the Greenie, let's show her that she's our valuable asset

Meant to post this earlier but I was interrupted by some pressing phonecalls. It was just going to be a crappy doodle, but then there were a few days of no thread so I spent the time coloring it, so now it's a crappy doodle in glorious technicolor.

Can we at least apologise in an assertive and forceful manner? Seeing as we weren't subtle, but the questions had to be asked since she wasn't going to broach the subject and we NEEDED to know. Now, whether she likes it or not, she's our subordinate. If she still wants to be our friend, well, that's up to her, but at least we now know that we -want- to be hers.

Some speculation about the whole bit about "copies" of Homura and all that junk.

Pinky already mentioned that she thought that Chiaki was one of the copies, but was now unsure by some of the actions we did. Could it be possible that there are other not-Homuras running around in the world?

Fabiola mentioned that the Head Maid at Lovelace's place looked almost exactly like Chiaki when she dressed up as a maid. There was also some mention of suspicious business going on with her when we last visited the Lovelace mansion. Kharn also seems to share many visual similarities with Chiaki (and a reverence bordering on obsession for certain types of foods), although that could be attributed to Murderface taking after her mentor/trainer.

I wonder if it's possible that there are many incarnations of Homura running around in the universe, taking on different aspects of Homura's personality. Or if they are a result of Faust's attempts to recreate her with an incomplete understanding of Homura's psyche.

I am really starting to loathe you people, its the same shit with Iori all over again and instead of doing something useful like prodding Kharn about our past you people want to go and tearjerk over MidoriXChiaki.

Its like you can fucking see every time /a/-uguu~-crowd comes over to shit on our carpet.

>>20425546Can't speak for the rest of them, but I'm aiming for just being a professional and defusing relationship drama. Midori being all pissy and jealous is just going to cause problems later on, best to deal with it while we can.And we're already scheduled for a Kharn flashback.

Not the same. Iori I was against apologizing to. Midori, well, she's in a better position to mess things up than Iori. It's pre-emptive damage control. No need to start getting all uppity just because some people don't agree with you.

"...Delicious. This is...this is just like how I imagined them to be, back at Mitakihara! Ah!" You hear Kharn exult softly as she rests one brutally-clawed hand against her cheek, sunless eyes closed as she savors the taste. It's then that you stop and do a double-take as you see the beginnings of tears welling up at the corner of her eyes.

Wow. You know Midori was good, but not THAT good.

You pat Kharn on the back and leave her to it, mentioning off-handedly that it was your subordinate, Hanegawa Midori, who made those savory treats she was now enjoying with gusto. A sniff and a gulp, and Kharn reopens her eyes, nodding as she spears another one with her fork.

"I-is that so? T-then I suppose you have not changed, much, Murderface," Kharn laughs, sounding more like a giggle than anything. "You have always been horrible with the culinary arts. Only you could set cereal on fire while putting milk into the bowl."

You're...that's not good news at all. You tell her to enjoy her snack while you make certain that your subordinate doesn't do anything foolish.

"Alright. good luck, but, ah, if she is distressed, just wait until later, when we are hunting bears." Kharn grins at you. "The surest way to mend a friendship is to kill large things together."

That makes...an astoundingly high amount of sense, so you say that you'll remember that, as you leave the kitchen and make your way back to the quarters.

This, pretty much. We deal with this now, decisively, we continue to have a loyal and incredibly useful resource. Fuck it up? We have yet another hanger on and even more drama. Kharn will keep, so short of tragic bear mauling death robbing us of answers, Midori is the only time sensitive option.

>>20425568Except: We didn`t abuse her. We asked her some questions that should have gotten answers even before the fucking flight.

I do really believe that there is a point reached where Chiaki would say "Fuck them and fuck this shit!" because we had to deal first with Iori being Jelly, then with Pinky and now even with fucking Midori and all that in just a couple of days.

So no, fuck her. Let her calm down and maybe she will realize herself that acting like a brat annoys us greatly.

[x]Let her eat, go find wherever Midori's holed up and continue the aforementioned mission to give her a non-sappy but non-bitchy explaination about how nobody is our waifu and we just wanted to get all the details so we'd be able to better preform our duties, and kind of effed up. Sorry and thanks for the grub. Then let her be.

>>20425621Actually we have pretty much walked all over her, just about gave her a heart attack with the manga thing, used her as a pack animal and got her to cook food for a friend of ours that she dislikes.

That's a pretty big list of things that are pretty dickish on their own but one on top of the other? That's just way past reasonable.

"Please also be telling her of my compliments! But hot sauce should be much hotter!" Kharn calls after you, making you furrow your brow. Was she serious? Midori was already using habanero sauce, for crying out loud.

You come to a stop in front of Midori's quarters. The door is locked, of course, and you could hear her crying inside, slightly muffled. That's...well. At least she's still there, and you can talk to her. She doesn't have a way to escape or block you out.

You take off your glasses for a moment to pinch the bridge of your nose. Is this how it's going to be, really? Is this what a Warmaster deals with? Because you'll tell Kyuubey right now that he can fuck off with the rank, whatever it entails. You're not cut out for this, and you have no ambition of pretending to be. You are not Mami Tomoe.

Still, Midori's...well, your very first subordinate, and people did seem impressed that you were handling someone rather competently for the first time. Maybe the situation can be rectified, at least.

You bang on her door a couple of times. Getting nothing but a weak 'Go away, sempai' as a response.

>>20425684"No. I need to... talk. And I swear, if you make me actually say 'apologize', I will lock you in the Cold Room with Misaka and a plate of broccoli."

Regardless of if she lets us in or not, just keep explaining ourselves. Full Murderface Experience reiteration, let her know Iori is just an employer and Kharn is just our Sempai, and that Midori herself is a friend - and she got that far much faster than anyone else we know, let alone anyone we've met first in a hostile combat situation. That alone should be proof enough that we like her.

Can we at least apologise in an assertive and forceful manner? Seeing as we weren't subtle, but the questions had to be asked since she wasn't going to broach the subject and we NEEDED to know. Now, whether she likes it or not, she's our subordinate. If she still wants to be our friend, well, that's up to her, but at least we now know that we -want- to be hers.

No. No affection for playing god with us. If we do that, she will walk all over us; instead, we should exert calm and assertive energy and take charge. Otherwise every magical girl-god-witch that comes our way will walk all over us and dominate our life and household.

>>20425684Seems to be a good gist of it. We absolutely needed to know, but we are not gooding at speak and very bad at social interaction. Did not want to offend. That's probably going to be a large part of the Matsuda/Murderface experience.

Also, make sure she knows Iori is an idol. Not our waifu in any sense.

"Look. Listen. I'm no good at this. First off, I told you it wasn't going to be easy working with me. The Chiaki Murderface Matsuda experience, remember? Second off, I don't have romantic designs on ANYONE, so don't accuse me of that waifu crap. I have accomplices and principals and not much more than that."

*Breath*

"Third off.. I'm sorry. I was only asking about the other stuff so I'd have a clearer picture of what happened with that mission, how everyone was involved. Where I fucked up, maybe. And it turns out where I fucked up was how I asked you about it."

"Also, sorry about using you as a maid. Now I'm going to go see if there's some Kong in this god-forsaken base."

Frankly, you’re apt to say whatever’s on your mind at the time. You’ve never been certain what is, or is not, acceptable to say. You simply know that, sometimes you have questions you need answers to, and you’ll chase them down until you’re satisfied with what you get. And in doing so, you’ve left plenty of trodden emotions and wounded senses of pride in your wake, you’re sure of it.

Probably broken plenty of hearts along the way, too.

However, the fact remains – Irori is simply a principle, and trying to be her friend, let alone anything else, would only place her into further danger. Kharn, supposedly, is an old acquaintance, one whom your spotty memory has let slip from your mind.

And as for Midori… You view her as a subordinate, as a co-worker, and you wouldn’t mind having another friend ‘in the business’ as it were. You did try to warn her about expecting anything resembling tact or grace from us. Our culinary skills – well, last time we attempted to make anything, it set the whole kitchen on fire.

You mention the Takoyaki was very good, by the by, and Black Eyes Titty Monster Sempai will probably thank you in person later. Also, bear killing is totally an option at some point….

You bang at her door a few more times, asking her to open the door. You threaten that you'll kick it down if she doesn't - although, to be fair, you probably wouldn't. Not that you can't do it physically, you've kicked a few doors down in your time - just that this is your former partner's place of residence, and you're not one to flagrantly overstep your privileges as a guest by engaging in some wanton property damage.

You let out a sigh and sit down on the floor, leaning with your back against the doorway. Wishing that you could smoke right now - or drink right now, at that. But no, you need to be sober for what you're about to say.

You gather your thoughts for a few moments. Seriously, you've had it up to here with this sort of bullshit, but if you have to do it, you may as well do it right the first time, so it doesn't happen again.

You talk to Midori from beyond her doorway. You tell her to listen and listen good, because you are not going to repeat yourself.

You begin to talk about how you needed to know about how she worked her mission with Iori. Sure you could have asked in a much more delicate manner, but has she forgotten who you are? Is there anything delicate about you? You're not direct and blunt because you want to be an asshole - you just wanted answers to very important questions.

Awwww. I was looking forward to apologising to Kharn about her door. Besides, she liked Murderface. We could get away with it. Though it wouldn't help the rumors about us and Midori any if it got out we knocked down a door to see her.

Questions that involve your job, you explain. Which, she should already know by now, is something that you take seriously. Very, very seriously. If she was hurt by that, well, you'll apologize for being tactless. But you are not going to apologize for doing your job.

Another thing you'll apologize for, however, is asking her to make takoyaki for Kharn. You just wanted to do something nice for someone who obviously has been a big part of your life - and someone who you apparently simply forgot about. You also mention how Kharn enjoyed her food, and how she'd like more. Just a bit hotter with the sauce, next time. And yes, the Black Eyed Titty Monster will be thanking her personally.

You wait for a response. There is none, and you let out a sigh as you pull yourself up from your seat.

You tell Midori that you hope that this won't be an issue towards the both of you working together efficiently. She asked you to trust her, after all - the same courtesy should be offered. You may mess up in similar manners, but it's not like you're eating babies or something. In any case, she should probably get some sleep. You'll wake her up when it's time to kill some bears.

You make to leave when you hear Midori's door unlocking, and slowly pulling open.

>>20426087No, best-case scenario would be "I understand and will take a more rational approach to assessing our relationship compatibility, and also not hold it against you if things don't or can't work out".

But yours is the most likely we'll get. Stupid characters being all 3-dimensional and shit.

"That's the second time you've made me cry in eight hours, Matsuda-sempai," Midori murmurs, her eyes red and swollen from the crying. "But...g-geh, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I..." She sniffs as she glances back at the inside of her room, then back to you.

"I ran off to cool down, a-and when I stepped inside, I just realized how...how much of an idiot I was, back there. Storming out on you like some sorta..." she shakes her head.

"I should've known you were just trying to do your job like everyone expects you to, Sempai. It's what I'd ask if I was in your place." Midori lets out a sigh. "Y-yeah, you could have worded it different, but it's important. It was about something important. Lives-at-stake important. I should've known better than to act like that." She hangs her head down. "I'm sorry, sempai. I...I guess I'm still not used to the full Murderface experience in person." She manages to work up a sad, tired smile. A smile nonetheless. "I mean, when you hear about it from someone else, it's cool and all, but when it's happening to you..."

"...it is as pleasant as being in a house on fire." Kharn finishes as she comes from around the corner, bowl of rapidly-decreasing takoyaki in one flesh-metal hand, the other holding her fork like a surgical instrument. "Midori, Murderface here is...how we say...impaired in certain social aspects. Do not begrudge her of such an impairment. She does not mean to be abrasive, it is just who she is, and we should not force her to change for our benefit. Rather, we should allow her to change for herself." She pops another takoyaki into her mouth, quick as a snake, chewing and swallowing in three seconds flat. "My compliments, again. You are a master."

Midori seems to color at this, and looks downward, still unable to face Kharn. "I-it's...it's just takoyaki..."

"When you are in Siberia, many miles away from home, you stop saying the word 'just' as a descriptor of objects you enjoyed. Trust me, these are magnificent." Kharn gives Midori a warm, full smile. "You must teach me how to make them, at the soonest possible time."

Your subordinate blinks at this, blushing, and turns to you desperately for advice. Or was it permission?

Either way, you nod at this...surprising, but otherwise not that unpleasant turn of events. At the very least, it didn't turn out like the fiasco you left back home, which you're not exactly looking forward to trying to resolve.

"Ah, very well then!" Kharn exults and suddenly pulls Midori out of her room, one skeletal-fingered hand around your subordinate's wrist. "Come, you must teach me everything! Murderface, I will borrow her for a while, yes? Also, go and take a nap of your own, you look like you are someone who died and forgot to lay down!"

...Really, maybe you should. You tell her that you'll consider it, just as she pulls Midori to the kitchen, probably to trade recipes or something.

You are much too sober for this shit.

You step into the room that Midori had just been forcefully vacated from, kicking off your shoes and throwing off your sweater - and it's then that you let yourself fall face first into the soft, quilted mattress. Closing your eyes as you do so.

...It smells like Midori, which is not all that bad. You could smell a hint of...peppermint in her scent, somehow.

>>20426289Really, the reason I suggested the hug is because, for one the head-pat is Misaka's thing, and for another Midori's less a 'litttle sister' and more a 'colleague who just managed to end her first majorly negative Full Murderface Experience with actual agreeable mutual apologies'. And she managed to resolve it WITH an apology to us faster than even Mami did.

I am looking forward to next time.I like our new coat and boots as seen in the OP.Kharn is awesome.Hopefully Midori should be a bit more stable now.And enough feelings for now, we need to get back to action.

>Sleeping in Midori's bed.Really Matsuda, really? You couldn't take the 30 seconds to go to your own room?Midori's going to getting all sorts of awkward mixed signals... Or she'll just take the opportunity to sleep with her sempai.

The flight to SIberia was... uneventful. My thoughts occupied me most of the time, and the auto-pilot took care of most of the flying.

My phone beeps. I check it, awaiting the orders of QB.

“Fly them back when they are done. I will tell you when. Until then, wait on them. Coats are in the back. As is the new Warmaster’s belongings. You are free to do whatever you like.”

It was as he said. A paid holiday. In Siberia. An easy enough job, anyway. Perhaps I really should look into bear hunting. It being an area specialty and all.

I pick up the coats, the Warmaster’s belongings and head out to the cold.

I smirk as I exit the plane. A job well-done. I’m dressed properly and the new Warmaster, apparently, is unhurt. Or in need of a toilet. Someone must have packed them dinner. Or they bought them at the airport. Though they need not have worried. Private jets usually cater their own food and it usually is a lot better than normal airline food. Then again, I’m used to eating MREs.

I stroll up to my charges and hand them their items. And make the necessary small talk. So far, so good.

I hear the whine of a helicopter. Their ride, I presume. I wish them well and inform them of my lodgings. And if there was anything else at hand. The helicopter was loud, but I thought I heard something.

“No, that’s not all. I have something from you, from Tomoe Mami.”

I’m struck with confusion. Why would the Warmaster want to give me something. This throws me off my guard long enough to-

Ow. Something drives into my gut with a force I did not expect. I’m stunned, angry and mildly relieved I decided to have breakfast in town.

Was it my flying? The plane not to her liking? Or was it something else? The Warmaster did say it was from some-