an almost daily updated ramblings of a "Not really Sane, Not Really Sorry" Wisconsin Entertainer

HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN:

HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN - city of big bottoms and small minds.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day! Love The One you're With

Happy Valentine's Day to all of those who are lucky enough to have someone to love. All too often we take our partners for granted and then on Valentine's Day, we go all out.

I am not excluding myself from that group although I do try to show Kim how special she really is through little things like foot rubs at bed time and occasionally flowers and a card for no apparent reason.

In about 40 minutes or so, I need to get started on preparing our Valentine's dinner. I got the cheescake made yesterday and chilled it overnight in the refrigerator. It is a thing of beauty. I fooled with the recipe this time, doubling the ingredients so that the bottom layer is 32 ounces of Kraft cream cheese whipped together with six large eggs and a tablespoon of vanilla, then poured into a graham cracker crust lined large spring form pan and baked at 400 degrees for 25 minutes.

It is then allowed to cool for an hour before I whip 32 ounces of sour cream with a cup of sugar and this time (instead of vanilla), a tablespoon of almond extract. This is spooned over the lower layer, then leveled out with a spatula and baked an additional 20 minutes at 475 degrees.

It weighs a ton!

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From e mails received:

From Kim --

A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."*********************************************

Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color than the other members. One of her students suggested that he was adopted.A little girl said, "I know all about adoption, I was adopted.."

"What does it mean to be adopted?", asked another child.

"It means", said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!"*********************************************On my way home one day, I stopped to watch a Little League base ball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was.

"We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile.

"Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged."

"Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face...

"Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet."********************************************************

Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott.Jamie was trying out for a part in the school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen.On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. "Guess what, Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me..... "I've been chosen to clap and cheer."*********************************************

God's Wife

An eye witness account from New York City , on a cold day in December, some years ago: A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold.A lady approached the young boy and said, "My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!""I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,"was the boy's reply.The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, "No doubt, you will be more comfortable now."As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her. "Are you God's wife?"

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From Matt Capell --

The teacher gave her fifth grade class anassignment: Have your parents tell you a story with a moral at the end.The next day the kids came back and 1 by 1 began to tell their stories.

"Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. She was a pilotin Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemyterritory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survivalknife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then herparachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.

She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets,killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the lastIraqi with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moraldid your daddy tell you from this horrible story?"

"Stay the hell away from Aunt Carol when she's drinking."

Happy Hour In Texas

A cowboy is driving down a back road in Texas . A sign in front of a restaurant reads:

HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL Lobster Tail and Beer

'Lord almighty' he says to himself,my three favorite things!!'

Referring to the above "lobtster tail and beer" reminds me of two. There's a guy swimming just out from a sign that says:

Mu aunt bea once had to go to the U of Minnesota for a grade transcript. She parked right under a sign that said: NO PARKING 24 HOURS.

She was surprised to find a ticket on here wind shield when she returned to her car. She took the ticket in to the campus police and wanted to know why they gave her a ticket -- she was, after all, only there for an hour!

Thoughts to Ponder

* Men have 2 emotions: hungry, horny. If you see a gleam in his eye . . make him a sandwich.

* Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day. teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe even years.

* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

* Take a lesson from the weather; it pays no attention to criticism.

* In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal.

* Life is like a jar of jalepeno peppers: what you do today may burn your ass tomorrow.

And finally . . .

* Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

Heckler Smack-down:

I was working a club in Mount Prospect, Illinois, and had just finished singing "The Vasectomy Song". As the applause subsided, a black man seated right in front of the stage said: "Hey, man . . . do you want to see my scars?"

"Well," I replied, "we wouldn't want to spoil the Black Myth, now would we?"

my favorite person

This week, my favorite person is Kurt Weber, a former student, and always a close friend.

Today's Quote:

Therapy is expensive . . .

Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap.

You choose.

Teabaggers in Action

Words of Wisdom

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.