My Melvinite Manifesto part one - IN SEARCH OF SPACE # 75

Image - Paul Milne

“The first time we saw the
Melvins I realised a band can completely clear a room or completely change
somebody’s life” - Chris
Haikus|Sleep

Before I begin I really need
to square something away. A little thing that’s been bothering me and it is to
do with the Melvins, and influences. To my mind, Buzzo’s vocals and some
sounds, particularly on Bullhead and Lysol, come straight out of the Pink Floyd
playbook. I’m thinking Empty Spaces, from the Wall, the extended cut, from the
messy but ultimately awesome movie. Now; am I going mad here? It seems too
obvious to me that either it’s a nasty acid trip, or nobody has my massive
brain. That’s all, on with the Melvinite Manifesto.

Many times I’ve mentioned
the Melvins, but I finally feel like I’ve absorbed all their studio albums, so
I’m ready to talk about it. I’ve decided to do a little retrospective and
discuss every Melvins full-length for exactly 100 words apiece, according to my
iTunes, that’s 20 albums. The reason for this absurd challenge is that the
Melvins are a fascinating band, who have explored a wide range of ideas (just
go listen to a cut from Gluey Porch Treatments, and then one from Lysol, and
then the final track from Prick, and then a track from the Atlantic trio, and
then the opening track off the Bride Screamed Murder, and you’ll see what I
mean) and while a few people have asked me which Melvins album I think they
should buy, I thought I’d better give a little time to it on here so I can
direct everyone here in future. More than almost any other band, the Melvins
change, from moment to moment and record to record. Pick the right one and
you’ll be amazed and forever a fan, pick the wrong one and you might never spin
a Melvins record again. Trust me, you don’t want your first taste of this band
to be Prick, it’d scar you forever. But there are lots of bands that jump
between visionary and appalling from record to record (oh hey Grand Funk, when
did you come in?) but I’ve never encountered a band that has such a varied
discography, and each and every one is worth talking about.

It could be said, without
hyperbole, that the Melvins are the most important metal band of the last 20
years, beaten only by Sabbath to the ‘of all time’ moniker. You might scoff,
because nobody has heard of them outside of the tiresome metal obsessives, but
it isn’t about how many people have heard them, it’s about how many bands,
producers and reviewers have heard them. Of those (noisy) household names that
can count themselves amongst admitted Melvins fans are Tool, Soundgarden, Pig
Destroyer, Foo Fighters and oh yeah Nir-fuckin’-vana! That’s right, the
Nevermind revolution that basically was for heavy music what the Beatles were
to rock and roll, that was because Cobain heard the Melvins and loved it.

The Melvins are listed
alternatively as a doom, drone and post-punk band. That would align them with
Electric Wizard, Pre-Hex Earth and Wire respectively. Personally I’d also add
electropunk and ambient rock to that. So late Brainiac and Explosions in the
Sky too. They also incorporate
American hard rock, country and an almost insatiable post-punk-type aesthetic
to destroy and reconstruct music – lyrical themes revolve around surreality,
nonsense and randomness. With gulfs that wide, and all the space in-between in
which to play, you better bet some of this stuff gets a little weird. I think
as a blanket statement before we get down in amongst the releases, Houdini is
probably the Melvins most definitive statement where the songs are the most
normal, probably the best way to start a Melvins odyssey of your very own. I
also like the name Houdini, kinda sums up the music of Buzzo and co., they’re
not trying to trick you, but they are taking what you think you know about
metal and about music and totally taking it apart.

Right, here goes. I’ll
present it probably in two parts ‘cause otherwise it’ll be about 3000 words.
I’ll also present a few lists at the end (oh how I love lists) of my top
albums, and the albums I think you should listen to, or should direct your
friends towards, and my own personal Melvins best of – but we’ll get to that in
good time, now for album reviews, 100 words apiece, chronological order.

Gluey Porch Treatments

Despite its status as a
debut album, Gluey Porch Treatments was very much seen as keeping the Melvins’
freak flag flying. Opening with Sabbath-beater Eye Flys and getting more
ambitious from there, Gluey Porch Treatments is an audacious and ambitious
debut. Post-punk sub-sludge songs that are over by the time you’ve looked up
the lyrics in the liner notes, and they crash right up against longer, more
defined cuts showcasing the madcap lyrics and Buzzo’s skill as a soloist. If
the Melvins never got past that, it would be astonishing, but there will be so
much more ambition to come.

Ozma

Ozma is where the Melvins
begin to expand their repertoire; looking at the tracklist, one would
reasonably expect this to be a post-punk offering from the mighty Melvins, but
in fact what they present us with are 17 sonic slabs in a doom/stoner frame.
Few longer than three minutes. The application of post-punk ideals to doom metal
asks – do we need ten minute doom songs? The Melvins answer: hell no. The songs
on this album take what Torche do without all of the pop-doom dilution. Ragged
around the edges certainly, but the beginning of the Melvins soul train.

Bullhead

Three is the magic number,
as much of a cliché as that is. Bullhead is the Melvins condensing their sound
into a listener-friendly relatively ‘normal’ album. Easily categorised – pure
sludge. For me the best of the first three albums. Here we get layered vocals,
great harmonies, professional songwriting. A recurring thing in the Melvins
music is what can unflatteringly be called nonsense, and it isn’t always clear
if they’re laughing with me, or atme. Here it’s all business, and I don’t
want every Melvins record to be this distilled and sharpened, but once in a
while sure is nice.

Lysol

This era of Melvins requires
a column to itself. What happened to these guys that they wrote three of my top
20 albums in the space of a coupla years? Not content with apotheosising the
sludge punk of bands like Flipper; the Melvins set about inventing drone metal,
‘cause it wasn’t gonna invent itself! This is the Melvins coming of age; until
now they’d been honing to a fine edge all those ideas in their melting pot of
influences, but this was something wholly new. Lysol would be a spiffing
Melvins cherry-pop for those of a drone/doom persuasion.

Houdini

Probably the go-to Melvins
album, Houdini is the closest they have made to a ‘commercial’ album. The first
of the reliable Atlantic Trio, where songwriting, production and vision are the
most consistently good and easy to grasp. This is the album that probably takes
the fewest listens to work out if you love or hate it. You still get your fix
of the Melvins’ more experimental side with finisher Spread Eagle Beagle. For
me though it just doesn’t have any moments that compare to the songs on
Bullhead and Lysol. The album you initially get into and then leave behind.

Prick

Initially released to
exploit the massive and rabid fanbase to help pay for the Stoner Witch
sessions, because of a label dispute, the Melvins couldn’t use their own name
and had to write it backwards. The presence of Prick in the context of the
Melvins discography is more interesting than any of the sounds. It serves as a
perfect mad experimental antidote to the solid as-close-to-mainstream rock they
were putting out with Atlantic. Delightfully oddball in a pure Melvins sense
for those in the mood, schizophrenically awful for those not. Do not make this
your first taste of the Melvins.

S

toner Witch

The best of the Atlantic
trio and a great starting point in all things Melvin. The one most infiltrated
by the Melvins trademark weirdness, including production credits for the Magic
Eight Ball – spiritual guidance and Scott Humphrey – door squeaking &
pencil sharpening. Audially always pushing the boundaries as well as decibelly
pushing the red line; Stoner Witch showcases the Melvins up to this point, from
riff to shining riff, the band’s punk sensibilities against Merzbow-inflected
shoegaze. Being at once enjoyably listenable and containing some of their most
prized riffs (Sweet Willy Rollbar) as well as the ear-punishing Magic Pig
Detective.

Stag

The final member of the
Atlantic trio and probably the least of them. Talk of the Melvins ‘exploring
the possibilities of the studio’ was largely bullshit, because the result is a
Melvins album overloaded with unnecessary minutiae to the point where the
grunge sludge punk is almost totally obscured by half-arsed ‘progressive’
numbers and crisp, soulless over-production which drowns the raw oddness. Buzzo
doesn’t even sound like Buzzo, and when that happens you know you’re in serious
trouble. Accessible though, but it’ll just give you a false impression of their
weirdness, so overall one of the Melvins most skippable albums.

Honky

From the band that brought
you Lysol, and the label that gave you Prick. Honky serves as a raucous two
finger salute to the commercial music-making the Melvins just abandoned. In the
context of their discography it’s the album that most closely resembles them as
a band in the music industry. Any time you reckon you’ve got them pegged is
when you realise you ain’t got a clue. A collection of ambient experimental
pieces interspersed with noise rock. A weird addition, but multiple listens
multiply the enjoyment manyfold. Easily one of my top picks, but for the
seasoned Melvinite only.

Well that’s it. I better get
my ass workin’ on the second half or they’ll have released more god-damned
by-the-Jesus albums by the time I have the fucker written. There is a new
Melvins EP out on Scion A/V records for free so you better all go take it by
the horns and enjoy that boyo.

I always enjoy a challenge. Writing this blog, for example, is quite a challenge because unlike Steve I have practically no experience doing...

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