On Now

I didn’t want anyone to go to Ryan’s house because I was just in so much shock that I could not even think straight. I also did not want this to get around school. No one needed to know and I hate drama more than anything. I was scared what could potentially happen. I was so uncomfortable and did not know what to do in a situation like this. If anything, I was so happy that I found out what kind of person he was early on rather than being in love with him in the future and not getting out of the relationship.

The next day at school I did not want anyone to know what happened to me. I was going to keep it to myself and I figured Ryan would do the same because why would he want people to know he beat me? Ryan and I have first hour class together so I was scared he would be in there. I felt so sick I did not even want to go to school. Right when I walked in to class, everyone (including Ryan) was looking at me with a disgusted look on their faces. It was like everyone already knew. I could only guess what Ryan told them. This was so uncomfortable for me and I just wanted to puke because I felt so disgusted.

After that class, someone came up to me and told me that Ryan had to quit lacrosse, could not drive, could not go to a university, got his cell phone taken away and was grounded all because I made nothing into something. All the people who I thought were my friends de-friended me because they thought I ruined his life on purpose. I never felt so betrayed and so hurt. I felt like I had the whole school against me and I couldn’t help to thank god every second that this was the end of my senior year and I could not wait to get out of this place. I could not even wear tank-tops or shorts to school because my bruises were so noticeable. I just wanted to go home because I knew my family would be there for me through this. Them and my two best friends Missy and Breanne were the only people who stuck by my side. They’re the only two friends I still have from high school because they stayed true to me. I cannot thank God enough for them. They helped me get through everything. When I felt so low they would be the people who would lift me up and make me feel like everything was going to be alright and something good would happen from it. I never want anyone to feel the way I felt. It was the lowest point of my life.

Todd told me he got in contact with Ryan’s parents and we were going to have a meeting at their house about what happened. I could not wait to sit Ryan down and tell him how I felt. Once I got into their house something just came over me and I could not speak or get anything out. I felt so scared. Ryan’s parents were yelling at me and defending him. I was appalled that people actually thought what happened was OK and Ryan’s mom actually wanted us to reenact what happened. I was so traumatized and so upset about what was happening. They made me believe I was over dramatizing this whole thing along with the rest of my school .

Luckily, that day one of Ryan’s best friends saw what happened. He told me he would back me up on anything because he saw what happened. I needed him to come over and tell my family what he saw and him to reassure me that I was not making something out of nothing.

In the end, this experience has made me so much stronger. I do not want anyone to go through what I did so always follow your intuition. I am so blessed to have such an amazing family. Without them, I could not get through this. I hope no one experiences what I did and I am happy to give advice to anyone who needs it.

I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go over to Ryan’s house but I couldn’t leave our home alone as it is without wondering if there would be a fight there as well. Everyone was freaking out and all I wanted to do was leave. Turns out I couldn’t go; I was surprised Todd didn’t allow it! At the time that wasn’t the only thing I was worried about. I was considering moving to Georgia to get an easy scholarship to a top college.

I really wanted to go over to Ryan’s house and “kick his ass” because you never hit a girl and especially my sister! I wish Bailey would have let Rex and I go over to Ryan’s because now he thinks he got away with what he did but karma’s going to get him back! He’s lucky that he didn’t get into trouble for abuse.

During the financial problems that we went through our family became closer because we were always at home since we didn’t have a lot of money to go places like we used to!

Rex and Dylan find out they could go to Georgia for a scholarship for baseball. I don’t want them to leave, but if it’s free, I think it’s the best choice. The problem is Dylan doesn’t have high enough grades, so it would probably only be Rex. I think that if Georgia would happen, it would have to be both of them going.

Heather and Bailey are graduating! I can’t believe it! I don’t want them to move out because it would feel like a part of our family is missing. Next year, they are going to college, and Heather is getting a scholarship for soccer at GCC, and Bailey is just going to GCC.

The night we found out about what happened with Ryan and Bailey was so chaotic and I think I experienced almost every range of emotion. I was angry of course because I had just found out that a young man had hit my daughter hard enough to cause major bruising. I was scared because my sons were ready to confront him and I didn’t want them to get hurt. I was confused because I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. As a mom, we know the usual issues that we can expect with teenagers but I was not prepared for this. I wanted to handle this situation correctly but I wasn’t sure how. Thankfully, Todd got home and settled us down. I knew we had to contact Ryan and his parents and a text or a phone call didn’t seem to justify the gravity of the situation. When Todd hung up I had a pit in my stomach still. I was anxious to arrange a face to face meeting. I wanted to make sure they knew the whole story and I wanted us all to be there so there wasn’t any “he said/she said”.

When we arrived at their house the meeting started out fine. Ryan apologized and admitted that he went to far but then somehow the direction of the conversation changed and the parents seemed to be minimizing the situation. I can understand how we as parents want to protect our kids but I was very frustrated by the way they were questioning Bailey. Bailey started to shut down because she felt like she was being accused. As a result, Ryan returned to school the next day saying that Bailey blew the whole thing out of proportion. It was hard for Bailey to even go to school because everyone seemed to side with him and she was an easy target since she didn’t want to even talk about it, let alone defend herself. Her way of coping with it was to keep it inside which is why I quickly scheduled an appointment for her with the same counselor that Todd and I went to, Dr. Lopez.

Dr. Lopez was so wonderful with Bailey. She validated Bailey’s feelings and talked through the incident with her. She explained to her that anatomically, men are stronger than women, period. It is never okay for a male to hit a female hard enough to cause bruises, let alone pin her down on the ground and shove his knee into her chest so she couldn’t move. The fear that she felt for those few minutes was real; she should have been scared. She was obviously confused because it started out playful and she couldn’t understand why a switch seemed to go off inside him; she wondered if it was her fault.

In the end, I think that Bailey has become a stronger person through this ordeal. With God, all good things come, even when it doesn’t seem possible. My prayer is that Ryan has internally taken responsibility for his actions and he has gotten some kind of help. I pray that he will use this situation as a learning experience and never put his hands on a woman or a child the way he did to Bailey. I truly wish the best for him, he is God’s child too.

If Rex decides to leave I’m not sure how things will be around here. He is my baby boy (the youngest boy in the family and youngest triplet). I knew that of course someday he would leave, but I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. My rational side says he needs to go; free college and chance to start adulthood debt free but my heart says every child is meant to be at home until 18 for a reason. I brought him into this word and I feel like I am breaking my commitment by cutting his term short. Unfortunately, sometimes in life we have to take risks but I am a self proclaimed worrier; what if this ends up being a mistake. I will pray about this and I have faith that in the end, the right choice will float.

On top of everything that has been going on, we are facing a huge milestone; our daughters are about to graduate from high school. I could probably write a book about all the feelings that I am feeling right now. Such a range of emotions; relief, joy, pride, worry(of course) and sadness. What happened to these little girls? Where has time gone? I was hopeful that when this time came I would be ready for them to leave and start their own lives but I haven’t gotten that feeling yet…,in my eyes they are still those 11 year old girls with braces learning how to be sisters; sharing their room and their dreams.

I’m not surprised that my family is already loaded up to go to Ryan’s house. My dad has always said to confront someone when there is a problem and never let anyone walk all over you. I cannot believe the outcome of the meeting with Ryan’s parents. They felt their son was at no fault. It’s very obvious Bailey hardly wanted anyone to know and wouldn’t just make up a story ( that’s not like Bailey). In my heart I know that Bailey must be in a lot of pain because she hates getting others in trouble.

Our family decides to help the neighbors move because like us they have “downsized.” We decide to help unlike our old neighbors who never helped or offered to help us move. With all of us kids we can get done something in 30 mintues that would have taken our neighbor the rest of the day (because it was just him and his wife).

For some reason my dad has been crying a lot. I think because us girls aren’t little anymore. Bay and I are will be off to college soon and graduating in the next month. As much as he jokes about us moving out I think he’d cry to see us go.

As we close out this season I find this to be the biggest test of all. When I arrive home from a meeting I find the family in my truck and not sure what is going on, the whole thing seems to have everyone upset. As I find out what has happened, it is clear I need to calm the situation so I can find out what exactly happened.

Once everyone fills me in and I have a chance to digest it all, Laura and I decide we need to get a meeting set up with Ryan’s parents.

Laura, Bailey and I go to meet with Ryan’s parents and I can’t say that I was overly surprised; Ryan’s dad treated the whole situation as no big deal. Ryan had not done anything wrong, and he was actually interrogating Bailey, in no way trying to help the situation but to belittle her and make her feel ashamed.

Later in the episode our neighbors lose their house to foreclosure and it brings up those old emotions of embarrassment and shame, that I could not provide for my family. As I see the family moving out I wanted to make sure that they felt that they had someone to lean on, when we lost our house no one would help us nor would they discuss it with us because, I am sure they thought it was taboo and something they should not talk about. I can remember feeling so helpless, ashamed and alone.

What I think about moving to Georgia, I think it would be cool. I would miss my family a ton but it would be worth it with the scholarship. I feel like this move can make many changes for Rex and I. I think it is sad when people have to move because of foreclosure but if you stay strong as a family then you will make it through. I would be devastated if Rex and I were separated, I wouldn’t want to play baseball ever again and I wouldn’t have my best friend.

Bailey comes to Levi and I to tell us how cruel everyone at school is being to her! I just don’t get people. Bailey didn’t even want to tell anyone because she didn’t want people to be the way they are being to her right now. Regardless, I think we all know that some people just need to learn for themselves. She finally just came to the point where she didn’t care if people didn’t believe her, because she and Kyle knew what truly happened that day.

Senior pictures are mandatory before you graduate. It is something to look back on in the future and announcements are usually sent out with your picture on them. I never really knew how expensive they were until I looked online. I also do not want to have my parents worry about paying for them because they cost so much money and I know we cannot afford that!

Ryan is a very manipulative person… I did not want to listen to what people said about him because he made me believe he cared about me and was a good kid. He made me feel special and I felt comfortable very fast and liked the feeling he gave me. He also was the most attractive and athletic kid I have dated and was well known around my school. He also is raised from a very well off family and drives a BMW.

When Ryan asked me out I felt so special and so happy that he was finally all mine. When all of my other boyfriends have asked me out, I wasn’t as excited as Ryan made me. On the other hand, for some reason, something did not feel right. My family was not that excited for me and I know Rex did not like Ryan to start off with. Todd also gave him a really hard time when he was around and it made me angry. My mom would keep repeating to me how I should be careful that he doesn’t break my heart and I was just so caught up in Ryan that I ignored everything everyone said. Even though I was so happy, I could not help being stressed about how no one in my family really cared for him and how all of my close friends did not like how I was getting myself involved with him.

When my Aunt Debbie showed up to take my pictures I was so excited!! She has always been amazing at taking pictures and I felt comfortable around her rather than some random photographer. I was so excited to see her! The pictures turned out so good and she did better than I imagined. I was so satisfied with the end result. She is such a blessing to me and a wonderful lady.

When my mom kept on questioning me what was wrong, I did not want to answer. I didn’t even want to talk. Earlier in the episode, when my Aunt Debbie asked what the bruises were on my arm I was hiding something. Ryan gave me them. I thought it was all a joke at first and when he would hit me he was just messing around because he would laugh sometimes but others there would be no smile on his face. I did not know if this kind of stuff was normal because he had times when he would treat me so well. I did not understand. All I know is something did not feel right but I didn’t know if I was over-dramatizing the situation. No boy has ever hit me like that. I did not want to believe Ryan was abusive and I wanted to change him. I didn’t want my family to confront him because I was just in shock of what happened earlier and I could not keep my head on straight. Looking back, I would have called the cops and put him in jail. It is NEVER acceptable to hit a girl in any situation. Now that I know I was not exaggerating the whole thing, I would have most definitely done something about it. I am so glad I had my family there for me and I am so blessed to have people that care about me that much in my life. I was so happy I did not have to go through that alone.