Pintsize

Pintsize

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Pintsize is Marten's model 8600[1] Windows[2]AnthroPC, and was the second character introduced in the comic's first strip. He is a companion to Marten and frequently used for comic relief, throw-away gags or to add punchlines to a strip. He can often be found with Winslow. He is one of only three characters in the strip to have his own plush version.

Contents

Pintsize is mischievous[3] but loyal.[4] Most of his hijinks are sexual in nature, such as forming his own Monopoly board out of the contents of Faye's underwear drawer.[5] or trying to "comfort" Faye after her falling out with Sven.[6] It is possible that his offensive pranks are miscalculation,[7] but some are downright alarming.[8]

He has a large directory of assorted pornography on his hard drive.[9]

Despite his deviant nature, Pintsize can be kind-hearted.[11] This is perhaps the only trait he shares with Marten. It has been suggested that the companion AI broker who paired them up made a mistake.[12]

More recently Pintsize has worried that his antics are too predictable.[13]

When it is absolutely necessary to keep Pintsize under control, he can be immobilized with duct tape.

Pintsize keeps a wide variety of costumes on hand which he wears to be humorous or weird.[14][15]

Pintsize is equipped with a M31 Combat Chassis with 512 MB of RAM,[20], an optical drive,[21], USB,[22] DVI,[23] Ethernet,[24] and wireless[18] network interfaces, spectrometer in his mouth with which he tastes things[25] LASER weapon (formerly) and suction cup feet,[26] but does not have a built-in camera.[27] The spectrometer and associated holding tank were described as new features, implying that they were part of the M-31 chassis and not part of the stock one.

The spectrometer seems to be a seldom-encountered accessory. Even Momo's high-end chassis has no chemosensor[28] and AnthroPC enthusiast Marigold was confused to hear an AnthroPC describing smells.[29]

The M-31 chassis is easy to repair,[31] which is handy since he lives with Faye. It also seems to grant him a high amount of resistance to cold weather, as he was able to easily function in cold that caused Winslow's Apple chassis to lock up completely. He is however powerless against duct tape, which is occasionally used to restrain him & prevent further pranks/damages.

He is friends with Winslow, Momo and PT410X, but has not sought out any "sexual" relationships with any of them.

Pintsize has had a date with another AnthroPC named awesoemPC1998, until finding out that awesoemPC was actually a male anthroPC who was pink.[32] It is implied that they did something explicit, but it's never revealed what (it was strange enough to shock Pintsize, though).

Pintsize is configured in software as a male and seeks out female-configured AnthroPCs for cybersex.[33] He has frequently made (crude) advances to humans, always women, making him a hexasexual. To please them he has a vibration mode.[34]

Pintsize is difficult to use for media playback because he insists instead on loudly yelling the lyrics to "Crazy Train," which is (in his words) "the best song ever".[38] He considers Toto's best song to be "Hold the Line".[39] When considering forming a sovereign nation of copies of himself, he chose Björk's "Army of Me" as the national anthem.[40]

"I don't explode cats. It's way too difficult to coax them into the microwave."[67]

"Those preschoolers will remember that day for the rest of their lives."[68]

"I've stagnated. My wacky antics have become tired, predictable, PASSE. I need to take my art to the next level, but I can't find the proper muse. I will find a cold, grey beach and stand on it, staring out to sea. I will smoke a cigarette and ask the waves rhetorical questions about existence."[13]

"When talking about the human experience, it all comes back to poopin' eventually."[69]

One open and obvious question is how Pintsize got the way he is. There have been some interesting ideas about this on the forum.

One suggestion, from jwhouk, is that Pintsize was originally Marten's mom's AnthroPC.[76] This theory is debunked in the mini-arc starting from 2331

Another idea, from Blackjoker, is that Pintsize began to get interested in porn as a way of cheering up Marten but his programming ran away with itself when he discovered rich veins of bizarre things on the Internet.[77]