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Vandrevala Foundation

If you are depressed, feel suicidal, have exam anxiety or have a question related to mental health, you can contact Vandrevala Foundation on their 24x7 helpline number. You can talk to the experts in English, Hindi and Gujarati.

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Love your body the way it is

Unfortunately, our culture focuses on physical appearance toxically and on top of that, we are constantly bombarded with beauty-related marketing. In such a situation, maintain a healthy body image can be really hard. You never know when a mere glance in the mirror can turn into an extended mope-session and trick you into feeling awful about yourself. You not only beat yourself up but this could also waste much of your energy and time which otherwise would have been used positively. However, some positive self-talk can help to fight these body image issues and feel more confident.

1. Your body is doing things for you

Remember that our body has many more important things to do other than just looking good. Our body is doing things for us that no one else can. Each and every functional body part is vital and significant in their own function. Your eyes, your arms, legs, mouth, teeth, hair and all are doing something really important to you and which nothing else can. Rather than worrying about whether you’re pretty or not think about how your body is enabling you to lead a healthy life. Thank your body for doing so.

2. Your body deserves kindness more than anything else

Treating your body with compassion and kindness is more important than making it look beautiful. The more kindly you think of your body, the more you’ll be taking care of it. You cannot guarantee whether people will treat your body with respect or not, but you can always commit to respecting your own body.

3. You’re more than just a mirror

You need to realize that physical appearance does not matter to a great extent. Try taking a break from your social media feeds, stay away from the mirror and remind yourself of your strengths which have nothing to do with the way you look. What you do with your life is the main event, looks are just a sideshow.

4. Make the world a better place

You might feel it is unrelated but one of the best ways to avoid feeling alone and down is t turn our focus to others. Acts of kindness can improve your mood and make you feel good about yourself.

If none of these are coming to your rescue, and you’re still facing body-image issues, feel free to talk to our experts through chat or email us at expert@teentalkindia.com

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How to let go of an ideal image and its additional burden

Unconsciously we all create an ‘ideal’ image, either of our own self, of those around us or of the situations we are in. And when reality doesn’t match up to the ideal, various emotional problems creep in

A few years back, on my birthday, I sat gloomily in a corner at my surprise party. While watching my close ones enjoy, I was daydreaming about the ‘perfect’ birthday party in my head. Suddenly, the irony of it struck me! I was dreaming of a ‘perfect’ birthday party at an equally nice party!

What did this do to me? I wasn’t enjoying the party, because I had something else in mind, it was unfair to me and to those close to me.

We tend to set conditions on our emotions and states, “I’ll only be fully happy, if …….” which could range from what other people need to do (if my friends were more interesting; my parents were not so restrictive), how the situation should be (if this trip was perfect) or then comparing yourself to your unique qualities (if I looked better/ was more intelligent). These are all stories we tell ourselves, what’s the story you tell yourself? To know this, look at self-talk. What message are you giving yourself? It’s strange that we go an extra mile to be nice to others, but we talk to our own selves in the harshest ways.

Once I started recognising my story to self, I started seeing how my existence was so dependent on everything to be ‘just right’, when in reality, that’s a rare occurrence. You see the gap? I knew I needed a bridge to close up the ‘ideal’ and ‘reality’.

I designed a strategy, which I am glad to share with you. The first step is to catch yourself in the ‘ideal dreaming mode’, then you gently point that out to yourself. Now take a deep breath and bring your attention to the ‘current’ moment. This takes some practice and is not always easy; sometimes I have to do it multiple times. But I have realised, rather than scolding myself, I use a soft, gentle tone which always helps.

The day I first did it, I felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt light, I felt like I had this current moment before it passed on and then there would be another moment; I activated my ‘Being Self’. I was compassionate to myself and much more settled, I wasn’t running behind a unique idea, but had started to live life in the moment with immense awareness. As Eckhart Tolle says, “Realise that the current moment is all you have”

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Disclaimer: TeentalkIndia does not offer emergency services and is not a crisis intervention centre, if you or someone you know is experiencing acute distress or is suicidal/self harming, please contact the nearest hospital or emergency/crisis management services or helplines.