COMMENTS:

TO REACH THE COMMENTS SECTION, JUST CLICK ON THE TITLE OF EACH POST!

Friday, November 10, 2017

"You'll Saw Your Head Off...!"

Hillary: "Imagine if he was using a silencer!"

Christmas came early this year for connoisseurs of hilariously stupid journalistic malfeasance. Specifically when USA Today, an alleged newspaper, sought to educate its readers about the weapon used in the horrific mass-killings in a small Texas church.

That's about as serious a topic as you can get, so you'd think that serious journalism would be something of a goal for USA Today. But how wrong you'd be!

To add to their audience's fear of guns and those who wield them (like the hero NRA instructor who used his own AR-15 to end the carnage), the paper released an infographic video on their Twitter feed described as "a look at the gun used in the Texas church shooting." They then showed the basic gun, then started adding on possible modifications to make in more insanely terrifying, like a bump stock, laser sight, extra large magazine, and...a chainsaw bayonet.

Yep, this is actually what USA Today thinks people should start worrying about

Before you even ask, no - there's no such thing as a commercially available "chainsaw bayonet," although there are a few good old boys on Youtube who've rigged up dummy (literally) models so they can play "hold my beer" while charging, shooting, and eviscerating enemy pumpkins.

But USA Today would have you believe that ignorant, bible-thumping deplorables can just waltz into Walmart and toss a chainsaw bayonet in the cart along with their Pabst Blue Ribbon, turkey jerky, and environmentally-unfriendly disposable diapers.

Diapers which might actually be better used by the gullible USA Today readers who wet themselves when just thinking about this hybrid killing machine...and perhaps also by the USA Today journalists and editors who chose to indulge in infantile gun fantasies rather than bothering to research actual facts.

33 comments:

That is pretty funny. Saw a bit on it the other day. All I can say is who ever thought of this has never used a chain saw. Those suckers are weighty, there is no hollow in any I have ever seen for a barrel of a rifle. They are very compact machines that will eat your lunch and other body parts in a heart beat. Yea, that is definitely fake news.

USA today has such a poor opinion of us they were way more shocked that we could read than the fact there is no such thing as a chainsaw bayonet (of which I have several in my collection - favorite being the old McCullough 2 man chainsaw bayonet)

hey, you leave my Pabts alone! It goes great with my rotgut whiskey. And the only acc. on my AR is a badass tach light. Yeah, it gives away my position, but two things. I can aquire my target and determine that it's not my wife or neighbor.

That this murderous insane person was courtmartialed after being caught coming into his AF Base with weapons to kill his superior officers, gets only a Dishonorable discharge?Sent to a mental institution and escapes, but no APB no follow up?Incompetance? Really?

Alice in Wonderland, down the Deep State Rabbit hole....FYI, CYA, there is a "legal/political/propaganda" civil war within the Feral Gov, for now.....

EARLY REVIEW: This must be an example of "strong arm tactics". Could save a lot of AR ammo but the range is very short. Refueling is slow and OMG it makes a mess. I don't think we will see many pink models from the factory; only after use in screamer movies. Lab apron included. Just in time for deer season & Christmas.

USA Today is the print equivalent of CNN. If it weren't dropped at the door of every business traveler's hotel room it's circulation numbers would be negative.

@ GenEarly- This particular instance of military "justice" seems to have a lot in common with the Bergdahl case. I'm afraid the corruption and rot of the previous administration goes past the DOJ, FBI, CIA, IRS all the way into our military. God help us.

You think the chainsaw attachment is bad-ass? Well, just wait until you see my sledge hammer attachment. Then after that I might make a bulldozer attachment for crowd control. Remember the guy who modified his bulldozer and wrecked the town? Just wait until I have one on the end of my AR15. I might even make a moonshine still attachment. I think USA-Last-Tuesday opened up a whole new industry. Employment will soar. Millions will work again. Yay.

About 250 years ago one of the Founding Father’s wrote something about the pres destroying our Republic. Looks like he was right. How many people will actually believe this? Probably moe than I care to imagine. The Fourth Estate has abdicated its resonsibility to the American people. The reporters (?), editors (?) and others in the media really don’t care about facts. They just want to say and write things to muddy the waters, imagining that they are the experts on everything. The MSM and their lemmings soon sound the death knell of our country. I pray for my children and grandchildren.

I want one of those chainsaw bayonets! I'm still looking to purchase one of those "shoulder things that go up," though. Where can I find a "shoulder thing that goes up?" Maybe Carolyn McCarthy knows where to purchase a "shoulder thing"?

@Fred CiampiThat bulldozer attachment for crowd control is a stroke of genius! You should do one of those startup funding things and go into production. Heckfire, everyone I know would want at least a pair and a spare.

More "fake news" from the "serious" journalistic community. Seriously, are the Russians in control of USA Today too?

Because if they are, they're going a great job of sewing cynicism and discontent across the land just like they're accused of doing on social media. Because the less credible and serious the supposed "mainstream media" gets, the more credible the misinformation spread by outside actors appears. So, good job Russians!

Another possibility: The grossly ignorant minions who edit at USA Today, being just self-aware enough to admit to themselves that they know nothing about guns, (much less the Second Amendment) reached out to an "expert" to guide them on the issue. Then they got trolled. (Good work Troll!)

But most likely this is actually just the continuing downward spiral of Progressive hysteria combined with gross ignorance on the part of the inhabitants of USA Today's newsroom. For years now, I've been mocking many Progressives I know who's child-like analysis and unhingededness suggest that they're getting most of their "news" from late-night talk shows. But now it appears that they may be no worse off than Progressives who get their news from the New York Times and USA Today.

Personally I can't think of too many things that would be more of a hindrance on the end of one of my rifles, but just knowing that it unhinges Progressives makes me want one before Diane Fienstein introduces a law to ban them.

How dare USA today steal my invention! I patented this in 1967 while in the jungles of Vietnam....pat#18762309875....USA today readers; just Google this.disabled digger WV on YouTube shows one in action being used on a tiger!..WILLYO.

Holy moley! I don't claim to be a genius or anything, but damn! Are there really human beings who are stupid or gullible enough to believe that strapping a chainsaw to the end of a rifle actually makes it more deadly? "Here, Bubba. hang this 20 pound Poo-Lan from the end of your barrel and see if you can shoot that there deer. If'n you miss, you can always run at it and saw that sucker up!"

I'm guessing that the gayrod, mom pants wearing sissies who came up with this have never even seen a rifle or a chainsaw in person, much less actually held either item in their marijuana stained fingers.

Gotta go now... it's time to duct tape a Ronco Veg-o-Matic to my airsoft pistol and terrorize some hippies.

@Rod and @Fred Ciampi -- Yeah Russian dashcams are pretty entertaining.It makes me wonder, though -- do they de-ice their roads with motor oil, or are all their tires bald? And just how cheap *is* vodka there?

We checked into a hotel in Dallas Wednesday night. We received the keys and were then told that the last fresh, hot chocolate chip cookie had left not 5 minutes before. DAMMIT! In a twisted way of consolation, he pushed a USA Today at me. I said "oh no, are you telling me that you're out of toilet paper too?" As long as I can embarrass my wife, I'm very much OK.

I can't believe the credulity of the people at USA Turday who even suggested that the chainsaw option was feasible for the mass-murdering public. Hell, here in Northern Arizona I went in to our local gun store and got the "buy one, get one free" "Assault Rifle-15" with optional M1A1 Abrams with on-board ICBM's, (and no background checks since I said I DIDN'T vote for Juan McCain!), plus I had a 10% off coupon from the First Amendment protected magazine "Whack Jobs and Drooling Moron Psychopaths"!MAN do I love living in a country that has a Bill of Rights instead of a bill of lefts!

1) I like the shorty bayonet that attaches to a Glock pistol - sort of a hi-cap rendition of the Elgin Cutlass Pistol.2) When I participated in the American V-Twin oriented social millieu I saw plenty of marijuana-stained fingers on people who were anything but sissies. And they had seen plenty of guns. Yes, I know you were talking about the Lamestream Media, but please don't conflate the averqage dope-smoking Hog Ridin' Fool with those babosos. _revjen45

Legalities, Threats, and Fine Print

DISCLAIMER

The thoughts and opinions expressed in the cartoons and commentary section represent the personal opinions of the author, which are subject to change over time, and which are reasonably eccentric even on good days. These opinions are intended to be entertaining, stimulating, and occasionally challenging but are in no way intended to do harm. Stilton's Place should not be considered a reliable news source, but instead as an advocacy entertainment outlet much like MSNBC, CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, and the New York Times.

Opinions expressed in the Comments section are the sole responsibility of the people who post those comments, and Stilton's Place accepts no responsibility for the content of those comments. Additionally, by submitting comments you enthusiastically agree to subject your opinions to peer review and remarks, which means people may call you awful names or question if everyone in your family tree was human.Furthermore, you agree to indemnify and hold harmless the owners of this website, its staff, and its subsidiaries. By submitting e-mails and comments to this site you agree to the above policy. The owners of this website also reserve the right to reveal your identity (or any other related information collected on this service) in the event of a formal complaint or legal action arising from any situation caused by your use of this forum.

FAIR USE NOTICE: This site may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not been pre-authorized by the copyright owner. Such material is made available to advance understanding of political, economic, scientific, social, art, media, and cultural issues. The 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material that may exist on this site is provided for under U.S. Copyright Law. In accordance with U.S. Code Title 17, Section 107, material on this site is distributed without profit to persons interested in such information for research and educational purposes. If you want to use any copyrighted material that may exist on this site for purposes that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. If you feel that any of the images used on this site infringe on YOUR rights, please contact us via the e-mail posted on this page and we will happily comply with your request and remove them. All original photos and montages posted on this site are owned by me and marked to distinguish. Cartoons and graphics created by Stilton Jarlsberg may be freely reposted for non-profit use without additional permission, but must contain the full header, author's name, and copyright information. Material from this site may not be collected, printed, or sold in any form without specific permission from the author - who may be, for all you know, a bloodsucking parasitic lawyer just aching to file a lawsuit, take your life savings, and leave you scrambling from one wretched hiding place to the next, croaking only the word "gollum."

Individuals, entities, or groups legally affiliated with any governmental organization, investigative body, or the Internal Revenue Service agree that accessing this site constitutes a review of the political beliefs of the author, and subsequent actions, investigations, or audits of the author constitute a deliberate and premeditated attack on the author's first amendment rights, the damages for which will make the angels cry.

Stilton's Place is based in, and subject to the laws of, the United States. We are neither cognizant of nor responsible for the laws in any other countries, districts, emirates, theocracies, principalities, directorates, or dictatorships. Additionally, the cartoons and commentary are published in English, and we accept no responsibility for words or opinions which may appear differently or have offensive meanings in other languages or alleged cultures.