New Canaan celebrates the family dinner

A New Canaan family enjoyed the family dinner event at the YMCA last September — called “Family Day” — sponsored by both the Y and New Canaan Youth Services Department. The next event to promote families eating together is next Tuesday, Feb. 12, at Gates restaurant, which is offering a family-friendly menu that night.

There’s no denying that families can be fragmented by virtue of kids’ busy sports schedules, arts or other afterschool activities, spouses who travel extensively for business, teens who work into the dinner hour. Sitting down for a meal with every family member present can often be the exception, rather than the rule.

The YMCA and the New Canaan Youth Services Department are determined — and hope — to try and change that situation here by drawing attention to the positives of family dinners and by hosting and coordinating family meal events in town.

For the past three years, traditionally on the fourth Monday in September, both the Y and the Youth Services Department have partnered to host a “Family Day” — a free family dinner at the Y, inspired in part by a national movement of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA) that informs parents that “the engagement fostered during frequent family dinners is an effective tool to help keep America’s kids substance free,” Tony Phillips, coordinator of Youth and Family Services, said.

According to CASA’s past surveys, it has consistently found a relationship between children having frequent dinners with their parents and a decreased risk of their using drugs, drinking or smoking, and that parental engagement fostered around the dinner table is one of the most potent tools to help parents raise healthy, drug-free children.

“Simply put: frequent family dinners make a big difference,” according to CASA’s website.

In 2001, CASA sought to create an annual, national day of celebration, called “Family Day: A Day to Eat Dinner with Your Children,” as a reminder to parents of the importance of family dinners.

“Family Dinner Night is one of my favorite nights at the Y,” Davie Cedela, youth and family director, said. “It’s so important for families to spend time together and it’s great seeing so many of our community’s families come together on this night for dinner and fun together.”

In 2010, at the first family dinner event the Y hosted, there were 75 people. In 2011, 115 people participated and in 2012, there were more than 150 people — moms, dads and their kids — in attendance.

“This past year we switched it up a bit,” Cedela said. “Nationally, the event is held on a Monday night, but we wanted to attract more people, more families, and especially more working fathers, so we had it on a Friday night. It made it much easier for families by holding it at the end of the week.”

Following dinner, activities are offered for families to participate in, including Bouncing Bears, archery, plus family swim, and more.

“Encouraging families to eat together and spend more time with each other is in line with the 40 Developmental Assets presented by the Search Institute,” Phillips said.

According to the institute, families that eat together generally eat more nutritiously, have teens that are less likely to be involved in risky behavior, have children with better language skills and academic scores, have a lower obesity rate, teach children to enjoy a variety of foods, and generally have better relationships with each other and their community.

“The magic that happens at family dinners isn’t the food on the table, but the conversations and family engagement around the table,” according to CASA. “Family dinners are the perfect opportunity when teens can talk to their parents and parents can listen and learn.”

Creating more opportunities to eat ‘en famille’

Due to the success of the annual September family dinner event, both Cedala and Phillips want to get the community involved in expanding the family dinner initiative from once a year, to several times.

“How can we carry this through the remainder of the year?” Phillips said. “Davie and I have been talking with people over the past six months — some of the groups, organizations and businesses in town — to partner with.”

Next week they will have the first of what they hope will be many special family dinner events involving a restaurant in town; Gates is kicking it off.

On three consecutive Tuesdays in February, beginning Tuesday, Feb. 12, the Y and the Youth Services Department are partnering with Billy Auer, owner of Gates, when the restaurant will be offering a family-friendly and healthy meal for $14, with any child’s meal (for kids under age 12), for $5. The full menu is also available. The other dates family-friendly dinners at the restaurant are Tuesdays, Feb. 19 and 26. Interested parties should make reservations.

“We hope there are more restaurants that would be interested in partnering,” Phillips said.

Phillips said that it isn’t just his department and the YMCA that recognize the importance of the family dinner and are trying to draw attention to it.

The First Presbyterian Church hosts a “Family Night” every Wednesday, culminating in dinner at the end of the night.

“They are not affiliated with our effort, but I have no doubt we stand for many of the same things,” Phillips said, adding that there are a few other area churches who “probably follow suit.” He also mentioned that the Outback Teen Center featured a family dinner as part of its annual open house for middle school families last fall.

“This past September, the Darien Y followed our template and created their first ‘Family Dinner Night’ and had approximately 150 attendees,” Phillips said. “Their effort was promoted through a colleague of mine who liked what we were doing here in New Canaan and presented it to someone in Darien on their Youth Asset Team.”

Another YMCA family event

Cedala said that in late March, the Y is hoping to have a another family dinner, similar to the one held in September.

“We have six teens who are members of our Teen Leadership Club helping to plan the event,” she said. “It’s not just eating dinner, but it’s also about family activities.”

Sponsors or partners for the 2012-13 family dinner events so far include: Youth Services, Town of New Canaan; Health and Human Services Commission, Town of New Canaan; YMCA of New Canaan; Outback Teen Center; Walter Stewart’s Market; Gates Restaurant; Grace Community Church; Police Benevolent Association; Powerhouse Theatre, and New Canaan Cares.

“According to CASA’s statistics, fewer than three family gatherings a week is less positive for what kids could go on to do,” Phillips, the father of two, said. “It would be great to have seven get-togethers, meals, whatever, but even I struggle to do that some weeks with my own family, depending upon my schedule. However, it would be terrific if this initiative can increase more New Canaan families’ time together, especially around the dinner table.”