The company that bottles the water for Bling says its water is sold under about 90 brand names in the U.S.—including one that prices its bottles at $2.49 each, available at Cracker Barrel Old Country Store locations.

Bling's founder, Kevin Boyd, doesn't dispute that his company's water comes from the Tennessee bottler but says the "couture" packaging justifies its price, especially with its hand-applied crystals and customizable designs. "I'm not just selling a water," he says, "but a lifestyle."

Kevin Boyd's other company, Bling Bottom Footwear, makes shoes with Swarovski crystal-studded soles. This asshole wants you to drink Cracker Jack water from a crystal chalice, while scraping dog poop from the crystal soles of your shoes. He is either the most brilliant performance artist of our time, or Donald Trump's ultimate nemesis. [BlingH2O, SmartMoney, PRLog]