Greedy Goblin

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Self hating Goons

In the last year, Goons/CFC did everything to be left alone. They abandoned regions (first Period Basis, Querious and Delve; now Fountain). They attacked no one first, only retaliated. They abandoned the "we are here to destroy your game" line and picked up a rather funny roleplaying gimmick, while changing their offensive name into a game-y. They pacified most pirate organization by hiring them, convincing them to move to Ethereum Reach or DoS-ing their region with BRAVE food. There won't even be Burn Jita anymore!

If you think these are "look, carebears!" insults, you are wrong. I like peaceful industrialists who only fight to defend themselves (or to take valuable resources from the morons and slackers), and they are capable of that. I always wanted to belong such group. Yet I fight the group most like that.

So after all the above retreats, what more could the Imperium do besides changing their alliance descriptions into "let us rat in peace pretty please"? Well, accept my peace offer. Seriously. Not because of me (though they have no hope to ever pacify MoA while I pay their SRP), but because my demands were all aimed at removing the most obnoxious and unacceptable behaviors from CFC/Imperium/Goons:

No Highsec wars: highsec corps make no in-game sense. You can do any non-PvP highsec activity in a 1-man or NPC corp. People join highsec corps because they are clueless or because they want to socialize while doing solo activity. Disrupting this is just being a jerk.

CFC member pilots are not allowed to suicide gank.: suicide ganking is a necessary mechanic to keep idiots at bay and keep the hauling profession (otherwise everyone could safely autopilot everywhere in highsec). Suicide gank victims should stop being dumb. But this message is ruined if they aren't ganked by NPC corp alts or the clown show of James 315, but by the "most powerful alliance". They will say "I can't do anything if Goons are after me" instead of "maybe 10B in a triple-antitank Charon in Uedama wasn't my brightest idea".

CFC member pilots are not allowed to recruitment-scam. Recruitment scamming is the most repulsive activity in EVE as it targets those who express the most sincere form of respect: trying to be one of you. Maybe they wouldn't fit and should be rejected. But rewarding their respect by robbing them is an especially jerk move.

RvBee treaty must be officially cancelled. RvB is a genuinely good, original idea to provide instant PvP for those who don't want to orbit a structure for hours just because some space-important metagaming guys cut a deal. Corrupting this to the point where RvB pilots were orbiting Goon POCOs day after day for weeks is evil. Maybe my original idea was wrong and RvB isn't a Goon front, but some RvB leaders prostituted themselves for some space (or real) bucks somewhere along the way. It doesn't matter. You shouldn't help corrupting something good. If it corrupts itself, that's not on you.

Most CFC/Imperium/Goon players didn't take part in highsec wars, suicide ganks, recruitment scams and didn't even know of Goon highsec POCOs. Yet the Goon public image shows the minority who does. The model Goon is a badass ganker/scammer/metagamer, while the real average Goon is ratting in Deklein. It seems the Goons hate their true self (the ratter) and aspire for the badass image.

Goons, stop hating yourselves, abandon the jerk-image and you'll find the peace you need to rat!

PS: It was an ass move to kick MoA (and R-Ducks) for "being carebears". It's obviously not true (being #1 CFC killer proves that they are really good in PvP) and also, it's you who are carebears. Just offer them an apology and exclusive rights to the Mordus Angels NPC space (no Imperium goes there if they go no Imperial sov) and your ratters stop dying hilariously (I'd cancel donations if they'd reject such offer).

Update: Goons hired Break-a-wish foundation, a small merc group to harrass MoA and given them docking rights in CFC space. This will be just as successful as all the previous "hellcamps".

That puts MOA in a strange position, if the CFC offered the terms you suggested MOA would have to reject them. MOAs whole reason for being is to pvp against the cfc, if it suddenly became a peaceful mordus missioning alliance half of the people in it would leave. I imagine the cfc will offer the terms you suggest, and put moa in an untenable situation, either refuse your generous donations, or see the pvp corps that like killing the cfc walk out the door.

You should tell Goons that they have to kick Bat Country, since it is Bat Country who run Burn Jita, who run Miniluv and the highsec suicide ganking operation, who have the most otable and successful scammers in the alliance (Mr W33ds, Req etc) and so forth. Kick Bat and the nature of Goonswarm can change so that your other demands become achievable.