After I got saved, I couldn’t find any visible changes in me. The chains of the heart were still there. Though I was glad to know & acknowledge Christ as my Savior, I somehow missed receiving that freedom from the bondage of sin. Everyone talks of a victorious Christian life, but I found the new life in Christ an add-on and a burden to my old. So as I read the New Testament – from the Gospels, the Acts of the Apostles, the Letters of Paul to Revelation, I found myself in place of cool and easy Christian life that didn’t demand much from me at all. All I had to do was to be good, to avoid drinking and lying, be regular to church, read my bible and attend prayer meetings. The scripture would speak about my brethren’s sin and, I would be glad that it never questioned my own.

One day as I turned to read the Gospel according to John for the fifth time in my life, I stumbled upon the first verse “In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God and the Word was God”. In anger I shouted at God, “Come on! At least be real to 21st century engineering graduate and tell me what that was all about!” I shut the bible, went on for days without opening the it. During that time, I got conjunctivitis that became so severe that it blurred the vision of both my eyes & the doctors said that it would be difficult to regain my eyesight. All my hopes came crashing down at the thought of not being able to see again. At that time, I couldn’t go to no one other than God. As I, with that blurred vision, tried to read the gospel according to John again, the first verse came alive to me. ”Oh, its about Christ; but why does it say about The Beginning? Why is Jesus called ”the Word”? “Or If Jesus is God He should exist before The Beginning!!” Question after questions came with verses, but through the Great I am’s, through the different healings, through the miracles, through the unique claims with which Jesus talked about Himself, I came to understand that the person who called me to Life is not a distant reality but an indwelling God. This God is utterly Holy and He dwells in my heart, a heart that needs a cleansing (John 14:23).

So, it was a journey of not seeing much of Christ and then seeing Him again, I surrendered the most hidden part of my heart. Slowly, my secret sins came crashing out of heart. It was a surgical removal of deep roots that crawled took over my mind and heart. Through this, God was teaching me a great principle in life. More of Jesus, less of this world, and less of this world means less ways to pollute the dwelling place of God.

What began in that year, continues today. As I run the race to Eternal shore, the temptations to fall are still powerful but now Jesus Christ has taken over my heart to be His place of abode.

“More of YouThis life I hold so closeOh, God I let it goI refuse to gain the world and lose my soulSo take it all I abandon everything I am You can have itThe only thing I need isMore of You”

A testimony by Nikil Jacob, a redeemed thinker and an ardent bible learner. He devotes most of his time in the youth ministry, making Jesus relevant to this day and age!