1. When we met at a Catholic youth group on our college campus, he was an Evangelical Protestant determined to convert all of us poor Papists. Guess who ended up converting. ;)

2. We fell in love while I was preparing to enter a convent, but I was convinced I was called to religious life and that he was a temptation, so I left him all alone for a few months while I discerned my vocation. Poor thing. :(

3. He's a choleric-melancholic and I'm a phlegmatic-sanguine--complete opposites! :) But we complement each other beautifully, and I love our differences (most days lol).

4. We're both proud of our ethnic heritages. He's Italian and I'm German-Irish. He's helped me to accept calamari, but he hasn't learned to like sauerkraut. lol He won't even let me cook it in the house because he thinks it smells so bad. He doesn't know what he's missing! ;)

5. We bought the Rite of Marriage book before our wedding so we could make sure everything was liturgically correct. :) No ad libbing for us! Our priest called Boomz a "groomzilla", because he was so insistent that the Mass was prayed RIGHT.

6. "How Beautiful" was the song I walked down the aisle to, and I wasn't supposed to start walking until the line "How beautiful the radiant bride...", but the priest kept nodding at me to start walking, so I felt all pressured and just went. Unfortunately, Boomz has his eyes shut the ENTIRE TIME I was walking, because he didn't want to see me until the right time. :(

7. I sleep with two comforters and I'm still cold at night, and he barely needs one. Just another example of how we're total opposites. :)

8. If you visit, it won't be long before one of us starts talking about the Holy Father. We're big fans of Pope Benedict XVI over here! We talk about him so much that our seminarian friend said that it's a good thing Boomz and I married each other, because we both talk about the Pope so much. I promise we're not stalkers and all of this sounds creepier than it actually is. lol

Friday, March 25, 2011

Well, my doctor's appointment went about the way I expected it would. My kidneys, liver, (I have no idea why she checked those, but I'm glad she did) and pituitary gland are fine. My FSH/LH levels are not. My FSH was 153; in the words of my doctor, "off the charts". My LH was really high, too, but I don't know the number. So, I guess I'm in "early menopause", as my doctor said, although I think the term for it nowadays is Prematu.re Ovar.ian Insufficie.ncy. Basically, I have the ovaries of an 80 year old woman inside a 22 year old body. lol Dr. L recommended me to an endocrinologist she trusts to try to figure out the WHY behind all of this, and for now I'm still going to be on estrogen and progesterone.

I'm also severely lacking Vitamin D (even though I take 1000 mg a day), so I have to take 4000 mg a day now! Getting some sun to help is out of the question for now, because it's a whopping 16 degrees here today, and the highest it's supposed to get in the next few days is 40. Yay for Ohio!

I did, however, receive some sweet, sweet vindication from all the millions of tests she took! My thyroid IS messed up! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! And so did all of you! :) My T3/R3 ratio is wrong (I can't remember the numbers), which means I have a kind of hypothyroidism (please correct me if I'm wrong, ladies, because I don't really understand all of this and I'm going off of what my doctor says). So now I have to take my temperature and my pulse 4 times a day to make sure they have a correct diagnosis so they can give me the right kind of treatment. So far, my temp has yet to reach 98; the lowest reading so far was 96.57 degrees. My pulse, however, is pretty high, which worries me. At 11:00 today my pulse was at 88 beats/minute!

Emotionally, I think I'm doing okay. I was expecting my FSH levels to be high, so I wasn't as disappointed as I could have been. Sometimes thoughts creep in my head like, "I'll never have children. Ever." but I quickly squash them and try to take one day at a time. I'm trying to trust God's will for Boomz and I, because as horrible as IF pain is, it is temporary even if I am childless my whole life. Our Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and I don't know what it is yet, but I know that it IS good. And I'm making myself cry, so I'm going to stop writing now. :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

1) I'm sorry I haven't been commenting as often as I used to. Lately I've felt like I don't have anything useful/insightful to say or people have already said it for me! :) But I'm still reading and praying for all of you!

2) Have any of you ever heard of the Ins.titute of Catho.lic Cult.ure? It's a non-profit organization that's dedicated to adult catechises (am I spelling that wrong? It looks weird to me and blogger's telling me two different things). I am totally in love with it...they have free audio programs that I listen to while I do the dishes, and I've learned SO MUCH! Here's a sampling of some audio programs they have on their website: Shadows of the Virgin: Holy Women of the Old Covenant, The Cleaving of Christendom: The Story of the Church of the Second Millennium, and Natural Law: The Image of God in the Heart of Man (couldn't help but think of you, Leila, when I read that title! lol). I'm so, so grateful for this organization! :) (No, I didn't get paid to say any of this.)

3) In cycle news, I had 7 days of fertile CM, skipped a day, and had 6 more days of fertile CM (and counting), so I have no clue what's going on. I thought maybe I was having a split peak, but this is a heck of a lot of mucus (at least for me)! lol I have a doctor's appointment tonight to discuss my blood test results, so I'll bring all of this up with her.

4) My husband told me about a conversation he had with our friend M.A. that was really encouraging to me. She was spending some time with two of our friends who are both pregnant, and she said the conversation was all about pregnancy/baby stuff. She realized then that most of us need to be more sensitive during our conversations, because what if a woman had been there that couldn't have children? :) YAY! I'm so glad SOMEONE is thinking that way! Spread the wisdom around, M.A!

Well, I had planned to write more, but I have to leave for my appointment! I'll be sure to let y'all know how it goes! :)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Today, I read the passage in the Gospel of Mark about the woman who had been hemorrhaging for twelve years, and upon reading this verse: "...and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse" (Mark 5:26) I had this deep, profound thought...

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

First, thank you all so much for your prayers! Please keep them coming! :)

I'm very, very confused about what is going on with my body. I haven't had a period since December, and I haven't been taking my estrogen/progesterone for over a month now because my body wasn't doing anything and I didn't know what to do. Now, out of the blue, I've been having fertile CM! Two days ago, I was having pain in my lower abdomen, which I ignored because I have random pains all the time. The next day, however, after seeing 10C/KL, I realized that that pain could've been from ovulating! Unfortunately, I didn't realize in time to "use" the day, and so far no CM today. :( I'm afraid I may have missed my chance.

Anyway, does this mean my body could be producing estrogen on its own? Enough to ovulate? That would be amazing...

Monday, March 14, 2011

There's a job opening in the diocese where Boomz and I want to live, and our friend has recommended Boomz for the job. It'd seriously be PERFECT for him, so if you could please pray that he gets the job, that would be wonderful! Thank you all so, so much! You are all amazing!

There's a longer post coming up later today about my cycle confusion, but I just thought I should get this up as quickly as possible! Again, thank you so much!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Boomz and I went to my NaPro doctor yesterday prepared for a fight. We were expecting to have to push Dr. L into doing more testing and being more open-minded about things. We were pleasantly surprised! :)

First of all, she told me what she thinks I have-early menopause. She said my FSH levels are super high (151 the first time I got tested and 165 the second...I checked to make sure she uses the same scale as everyone else. She does.) She said there's not a lot of research on this, so we're in "uncharted territory". She's a little confused, because my body responded to treatment for 9 months so my "uterus still works" (her words), but my FSH levels are through the roof. She mentioned adre.nal fat.igue and Wils.on's Syndrome, which made me so happy because I thought she wouldn't "believe in" those things since they're so controversial. Clo.mid was also mentioned, but I don't really remember why since I'm not cycling (sorry! It was a long day yesterday). So she's testing my FSH/LH levels again, along with my TSH, T3, T4, testosteron.e, pit.ocin, and about a million other things. The nurse had to take TEN VIALS of blood! I was freaking out so much because of the needle that I had to lay on a bed while she was taking my blood. lol Boomz was so wonderful, though! He stood behind me and held my hand and talked about the newest Char.lie Sh.een craziness to keep my mind off of the needle sticking in my vein. He also made sure I was given orange juice afterward so I wouldn't pass out. :)

I should have written this post right after we came home, because I can't remember the details of the appointment and now it doesn't make sense. lol Oh well. I'm just glad I didn't have to push Dr. L to re-test my thyroid and she's looking into the adre.nal fati.uge. Oh, she also suggested going GF and giving up dairy. Ughhhh. So after we eat all of the glut.en-filled food we have in the apartment, I'm going to make a GF meal plan. I'm nervous about this because money is tight, and I've heard GF stuff is expensive. Plus, I'm not allowed to lose any weight, and I've read going GF makes you do that sometimes.

I have mixed emotions about all of this. I'm obviously upset Dr. L thinks I'm in early menopause, but I'm happy something is being done and I still have some hope. I don't really know why, but I do. :)

Prayer buddy (and the rest of ya!), if you could please pray for guidance for my doctor, I would really appreciate it! Thank you so much!

P.S. Sorry this post doesn't flow or make sense. lol It's late and I wrote whatever came into my head.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I'm really looking forward to Lent this year! I've been thinking about my Lenten resolutions since February! lol This year, I'm giving up TV and face.book. Honestly, I'm terrified that I'm going to be bored out of my mind for 40 days, because I'm THAT addicted. Hopefully Lent this year will help me become a little more detached to these things and cultivate interior silence.

Instead of watching TV and messing around on face.book, I plan on knitting and reading. I'm not going to restrict myself to spiritual reading, although I plan on doing plenty of that! I can't decide which book I'm going to start with. I have a few in mind: Story of a Soul by St. Therese (again), Divine Mercy in My Soul by St. Faustina, or The Secret Diary of Elisabeth Leseur by...Elisabeth Leseur (lol). I'm feeling most drawn to Divine Mercy in My Soul right now, so I'll probably start with that, but I'd like to read all of these books on my list during Lent. We'll see how that goes! ;)

Here are my other resolutions:

-Pray the Office of Readings everyday. It's my favorite part of the Divine Office, and I always get so much out of it, but I'm so lazy and I've gotten out of the habit of praying it.

-Pray the rosary more often. I want to say everyday, but I know I'll fall short of this. I'm not very "good" at praying the rosary. I can't ever focus or meditate, especially if I pray it by myself, and sometimes I fall asleep. lol

-Read a bit of Scripture every day. I think I'll start with the Gospel of Mark. I haven't read that one straight through for a couple years, and I'm really looking forward to it. :)

-Go to daily Mass at least once a week. I wake up with Boomz at 7, and Mass is at 8, so I really have no excuse other than laziness to NOT go. :)

I feel like the Lord is calling me to a deeper relationship with Him, and this Lent is certainly going to help. I can't wait to know and love Him more!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Tomorrow is the feast day of two of my favorite saints-St. Perpetua and St. Felicity! I've loved them (especially St. Felicity) ever since I first read the account of their martyrdom. I was even planning on taking the name Sr. Felicity Marie when I was discerning my vocation in the convent!

St. Perpetua was a noblewoman in the 3rd century, and St. Felicity was a slave (I think I've read accounts that Felicity was Perpetua's servant, but now I can't find any that say that). Both of the saints were mothers-St. Felicity gave birth while in jail!-and both were martyrs. They're so, so amazing! Please look up their story and ask for their intercession tomorrow! :)

Friday, March 4, 2011

My husband just found out that his company laid off four people. He's a new employee, so he's the next to go if things get any worse. If you could spare some time, would you mind praying for him? Thank you so much!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Yet another one of my friends is pregnant. They just got married in December. They're due in October. Sigh.

I feel like such a horrible person because I don't feel happy for them. Seriously, almost all of my friends got married this past year (two of them are getting married this year), and almost all of them are pregnant. I'm so sad and angry and I want to throw things, and the fact that I'm having those feelings over God bringing new life into the world makes me sad and angry and want to throw things.

I feel like the only time I write is when I feel like complaining. lol So I'm going to post quotes from some of my favorite saints today instead!

"Abide in peace, banish cares, take no account of all that happens, and you will serve God according to His good pleasure and rest in Him." -St. John of the Cross

"You pay God a compliment by asking great things of Him." -St. Teresa of Avila

"Suffering is a great favor. Remember that everything soon comes to an end . . . and take courage. Think of how our gain is eternal." -St. Teresa of Avila (I really, really need to remember this one!)

"I'm happier with my crucifix on my bed of pain than a queen on her throne." -St. Bernadette Soubirous, my adopted Confirmation saint (the parish I grew up in doesn't "do" Confirmation saints)

"I must die to myself continually and accept trials without complaining. I work, I suffer and I love with no other witness than his heart. Anyone who is not prepared to suffer all for the Beloved and to do his will in all things is not worthy of the sweet name of Friend, for here below, Love without suffering does not exist." -St. Bernadette :)

"Teach us to give and not to count the cost." -St. Ignatius of Loyola (I plan on having this painted on a wall when I have a house someday.)

"Always receive with equal contentment from God’s hand either consolations or sufferings, peace or distress, health or illness. Ask nothing, refuse nothing, but always be ready to do and to suffer anything that comes from His Providence." -St. Teresa Margaret Redi (Never heard of her? Please, look her up! She's an amazing Carmelite nun and mystic, and is sort of the "prototype" of St. Therese of Lisieux. She's sometimes called the "saint of the hidden life", and meditated on the hidden life of Jesus and Mary at Nazareth often. I love her!)