Our mouths. Our hearts.

I’m going to write about something difficult because it has been heavy on my heart. It is not a new thought. I expect you already know this, but I want to encourage you as a friend to hold to what you know.

I don’t remember exactly which Bible Study, conversation, or where exactly the realization came from, but I do remember the life experience of a friend’s tongue.

You know the situation – the one where a group of women are together and talking. Someone brings up a prayer request…the ultimate disguise for gossip. It made me uncomfortable to hear a “request” by someone not involved in a situation for about someone else. I knew both women involved – the person talking and one being talked about. I also knew how wrongly the one talking portrayed the circumstance because she didn’t have all the facts. I also knew the one being talked about would have been mortified to know she was the topic in the form of a “prayer request”. In fact, knowing the whole situation, I knew she was quite resolved in God’s plan and not struggling in the circumstance. I knew the whole of the circumstance because I had been told directly, in confidence. It made me sick to my stomach. I hated the feeling of knowing. Of wondering what I should do. In time I resented my resulting struggle with lack of respect for the talker. It was like the rust below the more you peel, the more damage done. It is only by God’s sanding that we can be truly refinished.

You know the situation – the one where a group of women are together and talking. Someone brings up a prayer request…the ultimate disguise for gossip. It made me uncomfortable to hear a “request” by someone not involved in a situation for about someone else. I knew both women involved – the person talking and one being talked about. I also knew how wrongly the one talking portrayed the circumstance because she didn’t have all the facts. I also knew the one being talked about would have been mortified to know she was the topic in the form of a “prayer request”. In fact, knowing the whole situation, I knew she was quite resolved in God’s plan and not struggling in the circumstance. I knew the whole of the circumstance because I had been told directly, in confidence. It made me sick to my stomach. I hated the feeling of knowing. Of wondering what I should do. In time I resented my resulting struggle with lack of respect for the talker. It was like the rust below the more you peel, the more damage done. It is only by God’s sanding that we can be truly refinished.

Our mouths and hearts can get us into so much trouble – and so quickly!

As a result of that life experience, I have lived by the rule of “If it’s not my business/news to share {or I can’t do something about it} then I don’t need to talk about it.” I feel strongly – if it isn’t about myself directly….it.is.not.my.business.

For the most part, I have found this to be a relieving way to live. I don’t wonder if I should say something, I just don’t. If it’s something that won’t leave my mind, I pray about it, turn it over to Him. If I really believe something needs to be said, I go to the person it involves and ask them. It may be considered a simplistic way of thinking, but it works well for me.

I was reminded of this strong belief this last week when one of my children was on the bum end of someone talking about them. The person speaking didn’t mean harm. It just wasn’t their business or news to be sharing. I was faced with explaining this to my child without painting the other person in a bad light. It was hard. I always find it interesting how when emotion is involved how quickly you can be “back” in the moment of memories.

I find these life lessons the hardest ones to teach my children through. I’m so glad we have a Heavenly Father to turn to and rely on. Only by the Grace of God can I hope to be a good example.

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