This Week's Leaders in Etiquette

Horror themed wedding ideas

My fiance is obsessed with horror movies and all things Halloween (to the point that he even refused to have an October wedding because it would interfere with his Halloween time LOL) I still want my classic, elegant wedding, but I would like to incorporate his love of all things horror somehow. Nothing big... just a little something that he would love. Any suggestions?

I think it depends on what the rest of the wedding decor is like. What is his favorite horror movie? I wouldn't try to fit in an over-arching horror piece. Pick something meaningful from one his favorites.

For example, some people use old books in centerpieces. Maybe one of the books on your table could be titled Necronomicon from Evil Dead. Or in Halloween there are a million pumpkins/jack o lanterns scattered in the scenery in every scene. If you are still doing a fall wedding, you could have mini pumpkins scattered throughout the decor. Maybe he loves Nightmare on Elm Street and could wear a red and green striped pocket square. If he loves Poltergeist, have the DJ say "They're here!" when announcing you.

I would go for little things that tie in to what you are already doing that no one else would notice unless they look closely.

So first of all, does HE want to include anything? You could ask him what he was thinking. Are you doing a groom's cake? You could incorporate it there, and that's usually a good way to add elements in a completely different style than the rest of the wedding. Maybe a necktie or cuff links? One of my friends gave her husband a different vest to wear for the reception, so he swapped out his "formal" one for a sports-themed one. If you're having a signature drink at the bar, that would be another option.

I agree with centerpieces or grooms cake, maybe an guest book or photo? If he has a favorite movie you could do a small movie poster with a large frame people sign around? I would keep the touches small and not full decor or theme, just hints to his/your interests.

The first thought I had was a groom's cake. That is one of the things that is nice about a groom's cake. It often represents an interest of the groom, but doesn't look odd if it doesn't "match" the wedding theme/colors/formality/etc.

I went to a beautiful, elegant wedding. The groom's cake was shaped like a big Cubs baseball cap, because that was his favorite team. It was cute and didn't look out of place at all.

Groom's cakes are also a good excuse to have a totally different cake/icing flavors from the wedding cake. Which I always approve of, lol.

I think you could easily go with 'American Southern Gothic' aesthetic for a very autumnal and dramatic look without it looking like a themed party. Think burgundy flowers, with greenery, rich jewel tone dresses, candlelight, Careful placement of dark gold embellishments with a rococo/lace feel. Things like this:

- groom's cake- black or purple calla lily boutonnieres - halloween socks and cufflinks (maybe your gift to him)- skull suspenders - they'll be covered up for portraits, but he can take off his jacket for the reception- a candelabra and dark flowers at your sweetheart table (if doing)

I mean, this is a wedding, not a Halloween party. Maybe his friends can throw him a horror themed bachelor party. But I agree to keep the wedding non-themey.

I think you could easily go with 'American Southern Gothic' aesthetic for a very autumnal and dramatic look without it looking like a themed party. Think burgundy flowers, with greenery, rich jewel tone dresses, candlelight, Careful placement of dark gold embellishments with a rococo/lace feel. Things like this:

I've always wanted a Halloween themed wedding too, but when I got to planning I wanted to keep that separate. We did a Halloween party the night before, on the 31st and our wedding was on Nov 1st. We did a groomsman "nightmare before Christmas" cake which turned out even better than the wedding cake,

I love the ideas from the other PPs suggested with the centerpieces and drinks and subtle hints.

I've always wanted a Halloween themed wedding too, but when I got to planning I wanted to keep that separate. We did a Halloween party the night before, on the 31st and our wedding was on Nov 1st. We did a groomsman "nightmare before Christmas" cake which turned out even better than the wedding cake,

I love the ideas from the other PPs suggested with the centerpieces and drinks and subtle hints.

I've always wanted a Halloween themed wedding too, but when I got to planning I wanted to keep that separate. We did a Halloween party the night before, on the 31st and our wedding was on Nov 1st. We did a groomsman "nightmare before Christmas" cake which turned out even better than the wedding cake,

I love the ideas from the other PPs suggested with the centerpieces and drinks and subtle hints.

this reminds me, though, that we HATED the bakery our venue was working with (in the contract) and we went elsewhere for the groomsman cake. I think we'll do a mini replica of it for our anniversary since we'll be having dinner with his family that day (we're doing a nice restaurant alone for lunch and dinner with the fam later that day)

I've always wanted a Halloween themed wedding too, but when I got to planning I wanted to keep that separate. We did a Halloween party the night before, on the 31st and our wedding was on Nov 1st. We did a groomsman "nightmare before Christmas" cake which turned out even better than the wedding cake,

I love the ideas from the other PPs suggested with the centerpieces and drinks and subtle hints.

this reminds me, though, that we HATED the bakery our venue was working with (in the contract) and we went elsewhere for the groomsman cake. I think we'll do a mini replica of it for our anniversary since we'll be having dinner with his family that day (we're doing a nice restaurant alone for lunch and dinner with the fam later that day)

@misskittydanger, they were just so mean (my SIL agreed) and not easy to talk to. It took forever to get a hold of someone there, every time I called I had to call back for so and so. I almost wanted to ditch them but it came with the whole wedding contract from Bear Mountain resort. The wedding cake turned out beautiful, don't get me wrong, but I actually liked the taste of the cake from the night before better.

@CharmedPam Ahh damn That's unfortunate.We had a small issue with our DJ and no one told us until months later

oh no, what happened? come to think of it, I spent most of my time at my open bar. I would only have noticed problems with the beverages. Which there weren't any. lol

Couple family members apparently tried to request a song and were denied. When they told me, it was already too late {wedding in Aug, found out in Dec} They didn't find it a big deal, but I told them I wish I'd known to make sure their requests would get done.

@CharmedPam Ahh damn That's unfortunate.We had a small issue with our DJ and no one told us until months later

oh no, what happened? come to think of it, I spent most of my time at my open bar. I would only have noticed problems with the beverages. Which there weren't any. lol

Couple family members apparently tried to request a song and were denied. When they told me, it was already too late {wedding in Aug, found out in Dec} They didn't find it a big deal, but I told them I wish I'd known to make sure their requests would get done.

You know what? Come to think of it, I told my D.J to play "Chelsea Dagger (blackhawk theme song) at LEAST 4 times" (in my 4 hour reception. I wonder if he thought I was just kidding or if I really wasn't paying attention but I only heard it twice.......

but booo to your D.J. Was it like lack of time? or was it "play_____" "nope. have my own agenda here"?

@CharmedPam Ahh damn That's unfortunate.We had a small issue with our DJ and no one told us until months later

oh no, what happened? come to think of it, I spent most of my time at my open bar. I would only have noticed problems with the beverages. Which there weren't any. lol

Couple family members apparently tried to request a song and were denied. When they told me, it was already too late {wedding in Aug, found out in Dec} They didn't find it a big deal, but I told them I wish I'd known to make sure their requests would get done.

You know what? Come to think of it, I told my D.J to play "Chelsea Dagger (blackhawk theme song) at LEAST 4 times" (in my 4 hour reception. I wonder if he thought I was just kidding or if I really wasn't paying attention but I only heard it twice.......

but booo to your D.J. Was it like lack of time? or was it "play_____" "nope. have my own agenda here"?

Apparently he was kinda snarky. Lots of time. "Can you play___" "Talk to the bride about requests" Which was odd.

Uhm dude, I'm busy ....

Also my uncle offered to hold the door when he got there and he was like "No, I can do this myself" Guh ... attitude given so much

@CharmedPam Ahh damn That's unfortunate.We had a small issue with our DJ and no one told us until months later

oh no, what happened? come to think of it, I spent most of my time at my open bar. I would only have noticed problems with the beverages. Which there weren't any. lol

Couple family members apparently tried to request a song and were denied. When they told me, it was already too late {wedding in Aug, found out in Dec} They didn't find it a big deal, but I told them I wish I'd known to make sure their requests would get done.

You know what? Come to think of it, I told my D.J to play "Chelsea Dagger (blackhawk theme song) at LEAST 4 times" (in my 4 hour reception. I wonder if he thought I was just kidding or if I really wasn't paying attention but I only heard it twice.......

but booo to your D.J. Was it like lack of time? or was it "play_____" "nope. have my own agenda here"?

Apparently he was kinda snarky. Lots of time. "Can you play___" "Talk to the bride about requests" Which was odd.

Uhm dude, I'm busy ....

Also my uncle offered to hold the door when he got there and he was like "No, I can do this myself" Guh ... attitude given so much

Do you know what songs they were requesting?

My DJ did the same thing when a kid at my wedding requested "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie (I enthusiastically agreed it should be played and danced with the kids that requested it during the song). The DJ didn't want to play such an odd song without the ok. The DJ also did the same thing at my BFF's wedding when people were requesting things he had been specifically told NOT to play (anything by Lady Gaga and line dance songs).

@CharmedPam Ahh damn That's unfortunate.We had a small issue with our DJ and no one told us until months later

oh no, what happened? come to think of it, I spent most of my time at my open bar. I would only have noticed problems with the beverages. Which there weren't any. lol

Couple family members apparently tried to request a song and were denied. When they told me, it was already too late {wedding in Aug, found out in Dec} They didn't find it a big deal, but I told them I wish I'd known to make sure their requests would get done.

You know what? Come to think of it, I told my D.J to play "Chelsea Dagger (blackhawk theme song) at LEAST 4 times" (in my 4 hour reception. I wonder if he thought I was just kidding or if I really wasn't paying attention but I only heard it twice.......

but booo to your D.J. Was it like lack of time? or was it "play_____" "nope. have my own agenda here"?

Apparently he was kinda snarky. Lots of time. "Can you play___" "Talk to the bride about requests" Which was odd.

Uhm dude, I'm busy ....

Also my uncle offered to hold the door when he got there and he was like "No, I can do this myself" Guh ... attitude given so much

Do you know what songs they were requesting?

My DJ did the same thing when a kid at my wedding requested "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie (I enthusiastically agreed it should be played and danced with the kids that requested it during the song). The DJ didn't want to play such an odd song without the ok. The DJ also did the same thing at my BFF's wedding when people were requesting things he had been specifically told NOT to play (anything by Lady Gaga and line dance songs).

Apparently he was kinda snarky. Lots of time. "Can you play___" "Talk to the bride about requests" Which was odd.

Uhm dude, I'm busy ....

Also my uncle offered to hold the door when he got there and he was like "No, I can do this myself" Guh ... attitude given so much

You're right. That is weird! Not life shattering, but if your guests want to dance to certain songs, they should have that opportunity.

We sorted this out with our DJ ahead of time. We gave him a must-play list and a no-play list, and overall discussed the genres we liked and didn't like and the type of event we were going for. He specifically asked us what we thought about people making song requests--we told him if it fit with what we had discussed he could play a request, but if it didn't he could turn them down flat.

I'm wondering when it became a thing to include your favorite things/hobbies/interests in your wedding decor? It just seems so odd to me. It's one thing to have the overall vibe of the wedding match the couple--like, a couple who NEVER gets dressed up would have a more casual wedding and a couple who's often going to fancy dinners and loves to get dressed up would have something more formal, etc. But at what point in history did it become commonplace for weddings planning to be like "I'm really into the Harry Potter books right now, let's have a Harry Potter wedding"?

I'm wondering when it became a thing to include your favorite things/hobbies/interests in your wedding decor? It just seems so odd to me. It's one thing to have the overall vibe of the wedding match the couple--like, a couple who NEVER gets dressed up would have a more casual wedding and a couple who's often going to fancy dinners and loves to get dressed up would have something more formal, etc. But at what point in history did it become commonplace for weddings planning to be like "I'm really into the Harry Potter books right now, let's have a Harry Potter wedding"?

He hasn't been very interested in the planning of little details like decor (as most men aren't) so i thought that by incorporating something that interests him, it might get him a little more excited about the wedding planning process.

I'm not sure why it seems to bother you how other people choose to decorate for their weddings... Nobody is forcing you to do these things if it doesn't interest you. To each their own, right?

I think you could easily go with 'American Southern Gothic' aesthetic for a very autumnal and dramatic look without it looking like a themed party. Think burgundy flowers, with greenery, rich jewel tone dresses, candlelight, Careful placement of dark gold embellishments with a rococo/lace feel. Things like this:

These pictures are really pretty! But he's more into the whole "slasher movie" type of horror. I don't want my whole wedding to be focused on it though. I was thinking maybe one or 2 minute details that our guests may not even notice, but he would. A family member suggested that when we are introduced as husband and wife during the reception, we have the Michael Myers song play. It's really just a beat without words, so most people probably wouldn't even recognize it as being from the Halloween movies.

So first of all, does HE want to include anything? You could ask him what he was thinking. Are you doing a groom's cake? You could incorporate it there, and that's usually a good way to add elements in a completely different style than the rest of the wedding. Maybe a necktie or cuff links? One of my friends gave her husband a different vest to wear for the reception, so he swapped out his "formal" one for a sports-themed one. If you're having a signature drink at the bar, that would be another option.

I wouldn't go all-out horror, but small subtle nods would be cute.

He's done the whole "i dont care about decorations i just want to marry you" thing that most men do lol. I more-so wanted to just have a little surprise for him. We don't plan on doing a grooms cake because neither of us are huge cake eaters so it would likely be a waste.

I do agree though about not going all-out horror. Not my cup of tea lol I just wanted to humor him a bit with a subtle nod as you suggested.

So first of all, does HE want to include anything? You could ask him what he was thinking. Are you doing a groom's cake? You could incorporate it there, and that's usually a good way to add elements in a completely different style than the rest of the wedding. Maybe a necktie or cuff links? One of my friends gave her husband a different vest to wear for the reception, so he swapped out his "formal" one for a sports-themed one. If you're having a signature drink at the bar, that would be another option.

I wouldn't go all-out horror, but small subtle nods would be cute.

He's done the whole "i dont care about decorations i just want to marry you" thing that most men do lol. I more-so wanted to just have a little surprise for him. We don't plan on doing a grooms cake because neither of us are huge cake eaters so it would likely be a waste.

I do agree though about not going all-out horror. Not my cup of tea lol I just wanted to humor him a bit with a subtle nod as you suggested.

Please kindly stop with this gender stereotyping. A lot of men DO care. Mine did. He helped me plan the centerpieces and we made them together.

But if he honestly and truly does not care, why do you even want to include this in your decor?

Please kindly stop with this gender stereotyping. A lot of men DO care. Mine did. He helped me plan the centerpieces and we made them together.

But if he honestly and truly does not care, why do you even want to include this in your decor?

Oh good grief. It was a joke. I want to include it because I love him and think it would be a nice thing that will make him smile. If you don't have any helpful input, why bother replying? Unless you only want to argue?