Fundamentalist Rag

Folks, you know I was born again
So let me hear you say Amen
We give thanks before every meal
We don’t neck in an automobile
Here’s the church, here’s the steeple
We don’t want no worldly people

We flee from sin especially lust,
Don’t buy insurance. In God we trust.
We take our burdens to the Lord in prayer
Await the Rapture when we’d fly in the air
You folks don’t know what you missed
Not being fundamentalist

On the Lord’s Day we don’t mow the lawn
Don’t turn the TV on
We get our thrills from Revelations
Thinking about the Tribulation
We are not Episcopalian
That is entirely alien

We don’t drink liquor or come near it
The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit
Don’t go to movies or to dances
Don’t go to parties, why take chances?
Bad things happen to folks who do
For example just look at you.....

We held off until we could marry
Hoped to be a missionary
Aimed to be a good disciple
We believed in the Scofield Bible
For Lutherans we had no use
They were much too loose

We were S-A-V-E-D
We took the Bible literally
Add up the numbers and you behold
The Earth is 6000 years old
If you believe in evolution, well,
I guess you’ll have to go to hell.

Rock of Ages, how great thou art
Grab a hymnal, sing your part
Let us turn toNumber 33
Nearer My God To Thee
Then we’ll sing Amazing Grace
You sing tenor, I’ll take the bass

We fled from lust, avoided sin, and also I used to be born again but now I’m Episcopaliant I am still mammalian

I used to be born again but now I’m Episcopalian
We play Bach but we’re not bacchanalian

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).