Outsmarting Myself

Every spring for the past decade or so, I’ve turned from a normal, healthy adult into a sniffling, dripping fountain of whine in just a matter of days. Something in the air doesn’t agree with me. Last year, instead of just complaining about how crappy I felt, I finally saw an allergist. After giving me a skin test, he told me the bad news: “Trees are your enemy,” he said — which made me laugh.

For the next few months, my allergist and I worked together to find some sort of relief. Nothing really helped. Nasal rinses work for a few minutes, but they irritate my nose in the long run (and their effects are short-lived, anyhow). Various nasal sprays have provided sporadic help. Even most allergy medicines — Claritin, Zyrtec, and so on — seem to have little effect. Only Benadryl (diphenhydramine) works, but that stuff knocks me out! I’m fine taking it before bed, but not during the day.

I’ve been home from Africa for two weeks now, and have been taking Claritin as a preventative measure. Until Sunday, I thought it was working. But after running my 5k on Sunday morning, my allergies slammed me with a vengeance, reducing me to a miserable mess. Curse those trees!

The alder tree, my bitter enemy. O, how I loathe him.

Sunday night, during a break from my whining and sniffling, I remembered that maybe I’d sent myself an e-mail after my last meeting with the allergist. Sure enough.

“I’m so smart,” I told Kris.

“How’s that?” she asked.

“After my visit to the allergist last July, I wrote up an allergy plan and e-mailed it to myself. That way I wouldn’t forget.”

But you know what? I’m okay with that. My philosophy is: If you can’t be smart in the first place, then at least be smart about compensating for your dumbness. To put it another way, know thyself.

Mind Games
So much of personal-finance success — and success in other parts of life — comes from being honest about who you are, about acknowledging your weaknesses and your strengths.

I used to define myself by my flaws. That’s not a very fun way to live, though. Over the past few years, I’ve found that I’m happier — and more successful — by admitting my weaknesses, and then finding some way to work around them. In short, I’ve learned to outsmart myself.

For instance, I am by nature a spendaholic. I like to shop. This, I’m sure you’ll agree, is a weakness. I used to see this as a problem that couldn’t be controlled. I’d resigned myself to a lifetime of debt. Fortunately, though, I got smart; I developed strategies to curb my compulsive spending, such as using the 30-day rule whenever I’m tempted to buy.

Here are some of the other ways I’ve learned to deal with my lack of willpower:

I can’t have candy or cookies in the house. If junk food is there, I’ll eat it. I have no self-control. Last week, Kris bought a bag of black jelly beans, for example. I love black jelly beans. I tried not to eat them, but my willpower crumbled. They were gone in less than 24 hours. Many folks would argue that I need to learn to be around candy without feeling compelled to eat it. Maybe that’s true. For now, though, I have a better solution: I just don’t have it around. And if Kris brings it home — she has more self-control than I do — then I don’t want to know about it.

Similarly, I’ve learned to stay out of comic shops and book stores. I know that by going inside, I’m only going to find something to buy. So why bother? Unless I’m after something specific, I try to stay away from books and comics.

As I’ve mentioned many times, I’m a forgetful guy. That’s one reason Kris and I set up our laundry agreement. That’s also the reason I pay the rent on my office space for a year in advance. Yes, I know that sounds crazy. I could put the money in a high-yield savings account and earn interest instead! I don’t care. By paying a year in advance, I don’t have to worry about the monthly bill. My poor memory is also the reason I carry a notebook with me at all times. It’s my backup brain.

Every year, I fund my retirement plan and pay the estimated taxes for my business as soon as possible. Once my 2010 taxes are done, for example, my accountant will tell me how much he thinks I’ll owe for taxes in 2011. I’ll immediately make these payments (or as much as possible). I’ll also immediately fund my retirement account for the year. By doing this, I take me out of the equation, and that’s the smartest thing I can do. Plus, it’s a relief knowing that any other money that comes in for the year can be drawn as income.

These are just a few of the ways I use to outsmart myself, to circumvent my weaknesses. There are many others. I automate my finances whenever possible, for instance. And I try to do the hard things first. Why have I managed to do so well at my fitness program in the past year? Because it’s the first thing I do every day. I roll out of bed and push myself out the door before I’m fully awake. That’s what I have to do in order to make it work.

Better Not to Be Dumb
Like a lot of folks, Kris thinks these mind games are unnecessary. She thinks I shouldn’t have to outsmart myself.

“It’s better if you’re not dumb in the first place,” she told me on Sunday. That’s true. And I’m doing my best to become smarter about my habits — financial and otherwise. Meanwhile, I’m content to play tricks on myself if that’s what it takes to succeed. Sometimes, that means sending an e-mail addressed to “Future J.D.”

Because I sent myself an e-mail after my last allergy appointment, I have a plan. I’m whining and sneezing today, but tomorrow morning I’ll be back at the allergy clinic. My doctor and I will go over the options we discussed back in July. It may still take us a while to find something that works, but I have high hopes that before long, I can triumph over my enemies, the trees.

Tell me, how do you outsmart yourself? Do you have any systems in place to circumvent your bad behavior? I’d love to hear concrete tips and examples of how others have learned to live with (and even overcome) their financial blind spots.

This is the best lesson in the world. My husband always says to himself, “I shouldn’t have to put my keys in the same place every time; I should just remember where they are.” And, of course, he doesn’t. And then he cusses and stomps around because he can’t find them.

We’ve all got to work with who we are. And create tools that recognize that.

As for your tree problem, is it true that you’re most sensitive when the trees are budding and coming back into leaf? If so, could you plan your vacation for that time so the messy part of tree season happens while you’re away?

J.D.’s response: I’m one step ahead of you, Pamela! Kris and I love our “warm vacation in February” policy, but we’ll probably move the vacation to March in future years to combat the allergy issue.

J.D.’s response: Huh. Actually, I didn’t know this. But that I fit nearly every symptom on that list just five or six years ago. I still fit most of them. I’ve just learned to cope with some of the problems, like impatience. I’ve become more mindful of them. This could be worth exploring… Thanks.

As I sit here sniffling and sneezing, I’m really wishing you had provided more details about your “allergy plan”! The same thing happens to me this time every year, I pretty much shut down for several days each Spring when things start to bloom. It’s miserable!

J.D.’s response: Bogey, my allergy plan is basically just a series of next steps, from mild (going back into the doctor is first) to extreme (surgery on my deviated septum, which won’t help with the allergies, but will let me breathe easier). No real solutions, though.

Jelly beans…mmmmm. Wifey brought some home yesterday and somehow, the bag is half empty allready. Wifey also has bad allergies and went to the allergist for years. Had bi-weekly shots for 10 years with seemingly no help. We replaced our HVAC system last year and the new one has a UV light air purifier and thick filters and she is better. Might be that or just a new system in general. She also limits her time outdoors during heavy pollen counts. Good luck.

One of the mind games I’ve used with some success is how I set my alarm clock. I’m a terrible person if I don’t get enough sleep. So setting my alarm clock to wake me up at a certain time doesn’t really help me. If I haven’t got enough sleep by the time the alarm goes off in the morning, it’s almost pointless to have the alarm sound at all. So what do I do? I set my alarm clock to go off in the evening, to remind myself to get ready for bed. I find it helps me get to sleep on time and wake up in time in the morning.

I use to get two shots a week when I was a child for being allergic to pollen,dust(Igot my own room with nothing but a bed,dresser)ragweed,trees,and just recently mold. I dont vacumn my walls like my mom use to do becausse the allergist told her too. I do use the netting pot but not everyday I take long hot showers for my asthma and I plan on being mmiserable until ater the fourth of July.

Second… I totally do the commitment devices because unless someone else’s life is literally on the line, I don’t have self control. So zero junk food or refined flour in this household. The work breakroom is my downfall these days.

I’m also all about habit formation. Maggie sent me an email that I try to keep near the top of the inbox. It says: “Dear Current Nicole, Remember to write. Love, Future Nicole.” It’s a little nudge to get my 30 min of work writing in each day.

I also have a little black scheduler. This year from Moleskin. I look at it every day because there’s no way I can keep track of all my appointments. Estimated tax payment reminders are in there too. I used to pay everything like you do in one lump sum, but now we’re in less danger of coming up short because we’ve got a nice slush fund, so I only prepay things that give me a bonus for prepayment (5% discount on daycare) or aren’t going to give enough interest to compensate for the hassle (no reason to prorate $530 for life insurance, for example.) High interest savings are so low these days that it takes a lot of money for it to matter. We even prepaid state estimated taxes this year.

Surprised you don’t use an online bill pay system. With that, you could automatically pay your office rent each month. No fuss, no muss, and you’re not handing over a year’s rent at once.

J.D.’s note: Well, I do automate as many payments as possible. But it hadn’t ever occurred to me to try to automate the office payment. I was going to write my big check for the year in just a week or two, but maybe I’ll try to find a bill payment system first.

Like you, I tend to have a weakness for sweets/junk. When I was living by myself at school, I had to have a “ban” list — anything I ate entirely within 24 hours of purchasing it went on this list. Then I just wasn’t allowed to buy it. Period. That seemed to work for me. Now that I’m living at home to finish school, that doesn’t work so well because mom buys a lot of junk — so now I try to eat only out of my own cupboard in the kitchen. I rarely even look in the others if I need food.

I use the envelope system for cash and I have one debit card for an account at a separate bank from my checking that I keep very little money in. That way, if I would like to make an online purchase, I physically have to go make a deposit. It’s not exactly the 30 day rule, but it does force me to think about whether the purchase is worth the effort.

All allergy sufferers: My wife takes 1 teaspoon of raw honey a day. She used to have to take Claritin or other allergy meds everyday, even in winter! The idea is to take raw honey from the area that you live in. My wife used to have to take allergy meds year around and now she only needs them rarely…like if we’re spending days IN a forest! You gotta try it. Make sure it’s raw honey from a local source, not pasteurized from a grocery store.

For long term stuff, I use Google Calendar. It has everything from a recurring monthly “check tire pressure and fluid levels on all cars” that happens the 3rd Saturday of every month, to a recurring “have septic tank pumped” that happens in June every 15 years (yes, really).

For short term, I’m so forgetful that I have a rule that if I have something in my hand that needs to be handled, I’m not allowed to put it down unless it’s something like right in front of my keyboard so I can’t ignore it. 2 inches to the left of the keyboard, it’s immediately forgotten.

If I have to remember to take something to work in the morning, I have to put it on top of something that I can’t leave the house without. If I have to remember to run an errand on the way to work, I have to write a note and tape it to my handlebars the night before.

J.D.’s note: Agreed. I like Google Calendar, too. I started using it regularly about a year ago, and it’s made a huge difference. I know I can slap something on there and it’ll remind me in the future. (By default, I have EVERYTHING that I list on Google Calendar send me an alarm.)

I’m the exact same way as you with candies and cookies (and cupcakes and pretty much all baked goods). I don’t buy them because if I do they’ll be gone within the day. Last time I bought a box of cookies and told myself I would space it through out the week. I ended up eating it all the same day I learned my lesson and stopped buying junk food.

Like the commenter before me, I set up google calendar reminders to hound myself about dates that are far out in the future- like my coffee order that ships every 3 months, or free magazine subscriptions I need to remember to cancel.

I also found a simple app for my Android phone called StatusNote that puts an icon in the notification bar at the top of my screen. Every time I check the time it looks like I have a text message, but then I see the reminder. I go on autopilot during my commute home and forget to run errands until I am back at my apartment, so this helps!

One of my new year goals is to work out. More specifically, 200 push ups, 300 sit-ups, and running 5 miles by the end of the year. I’ve never been good at sticking to a workout routine, so I’m tricking myself into doing it.

Luckily, my full time job has a gym at work. I have to hit rush hour every day on my way home, which is frustrating. So I bring workout clothes with me to work, and trick myself into the fact that my drive home will be easier if I stay and work out. It’s much better to drive home an hour later than when I typically go home, and this has been working for a few months now.

I also find that writing about my goals once a month on my blog helps keep me in line. I feel like I have to live up to my goals, or else I have to write about my failures. Not sure if that’s really tricking myself, but it could be considered that, I guess. Either way, it works for me.

Many organizing tips talk about prioritizing so one does the important things first. Myself when little things at work pop up I need to do and am likely to forget I do them NOW so I don’t have to expend energy remembering to do it later. Mentally I plan blocks of uninterrupted time during the week to get the “big” stuff (stuff that requires brain power) done. At that time I don’t have my email open or respond to my cell phone.

My husband is usually late to non-work events (he’s anal for work and his hobby job, reffing, but sucky at all other events), so all of the clocks in our house are set ahead 5-10 minutes. I set them differently after every time change so he doesn’t actually know if it’s 5 or 10 minutes and by the time he untricks himself, I’ve changed them again. I love the fact that we are rarely late and he seems to enjoy the tradition, lol.

I’ve also adopted the carry-a-pocket-notebook-everywhere trick with some level of success. I do, however, run into the problem of forgetting to use the notebook. Overall, the notebook is wonderful and I’m working on being more mindful to check it periodically throughout the day. It feels like I have a ways to go before I have the system refined to my own needs though…but I’m working on it!

As for allergies, if anyone is looking for suggestions, I use a saline rinse via neti pot almost daily and that controls most of my problems. I used to have prescriptions and get 2 shots weekly for indoor/outdoor allergies but the neti pot is every bit as effective if not more so.

I do the alarm clock hack, too. I will normally wake up about 6:30am, but I like lounging in bed for 10-15 minutes to think about my day. For years I would set it early (6:15) and hit snooze, but it was too easy to hit snooze just one more time…

I just got a new clock with an alarm, but no snooze. So it goes off at 6:30am. I will still lie in bed for a bit, but since I don’t have the comfort of a snooze, I have to keep turning and looking at the clock – so I don’t get too cozy under the covers and fall back asleep. It has really helped get me out of bed and moving in the morning.

Haha, yes. I do a lot of this…for example, I used to lock my keys in my car constantly. Now I keep extra keys stashed in a lot of places, including one in my wallet. As soon as I get an appointment, I add an alarm to my outlook calendar and sometimes also double up with an alarm on my blackberry. I send myself recurring reminders to submit papers by a certain date, refill prescriptions, fill out scholarship applications, etc. I also have sticky notes and a white board and a couple of documents in my phone where I store lists of personal finance goals and professional development goals, etc. for easy reference.

I try to keep everything in the same place (phone, laptop, glasses), so I automatically know where they are without having to search. I have a system for my work badge that I do not deviate from so I don’t lose it. And I hop on the exercise bike immediately after work before I do anything else or on days when I work from home, don’t shower until after I exercise. I automate my finances as well, and pay myself first.

I ‘outsmart’ myself by avoiding rewards systems unless they’re automated. This helps me avoid “Taking advantage of this great offer!” whether that be a new credit card, store loyalty program, financing offer, or anything that requires multiple actions on my end.

Because I know I’ll forget to manually do things each month to ‘get my rewards’. Or I won’t put in the 3 hours of work every 6 months to tally up my benefits and optimize whatever the scheme is.

Knowing that I’m terrible about details, it is much easier for me to say No to more things unless it provides me an automated benefit. A credit card that offers me 1.5% cashback and automatically applies it to my bill is better for me than a credit card that gives me 1% cashback on everyday purchases and then 5% back on a category of items that rotates each month.

Six years ago, the week of my 49th birthday, I found out I had ADHD. Well, that really put a lot things in my life in perspective, from career choices, to values, love of travel, to inability to handle paper successfully. As such, I have tried to focus on what really matters, and living my life as authentically as possible.

The past two years I’ve spent a lot of time with my aging father, out of state, with some health issues. Taking this on because I’m the closest to where he lives, and mostly because it matters so much to me that these last years of his life are done well, and with respect, just as he did for me when I was a child.

1. My memory is not good for day-to-day stuff, so I have my planner with me at all times. Yes, it’s paper, but that works best for me. I also keep a small notebook with me, use cash, and track my expenses (then it goes into the computer).
2. I’m in job hunt mode right now, and have a large whiteboard in my office area, so I can see my Big Plan. As a visual person, I also do some periodic mind-mapping to get inspired or work out an idea.
3. Years ago I bought a vintage fire extinguisher. It sits right inside the front door, and holds my keys. I hear the clink of the metal, and they’re home.
4. Routines matter. Gym, sleep hygiene, getting up, car maintenance, breakfast, etc.
5. Again, as a visual learner, I have to “see” where stuff goes (and I have issues with stuff, usually paper). Streamlining options I don’t do well or like (autopay those bills!!!) makes it easier to cope. Leaves more time for fun.
6. Great book recommendation from my professional organizer: ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life, by Judith Kolberg & Kathleen Nadeau (one’s an organizer, the other a psychologist). I write ideas in it, and refer back. Love the idea of creating ‘departments’ in my home.
7. Being on time is important to me, so I’ll often use my kitchen timer to allot myself the right amount of get-ready time. I much prefer to arrive early than bluster in late. It’s the small ways of being prepared that help me stay on an even keel.
8. Writing out a grocery list, taking my clipboard with me to the store, sort-of meal planning, and being strategic about my splurges helps me cope with not binging, and staying in tune with the budget, as it’s just me in the household.
9. I journal periodically, just cleaning out the debris of clutter in head.
10. I’ve learned (sometimes painfully) to laugh at myself and continue to try and accept myself for who I am, and not be too hard on how I’m doing. Like everyone, I’m imperfect and on a learning curve called life.

one year my allergies were making me so miserable that i decided to try sleeping with a face-mask on. my mom’s bf works in construction and let me snatch a couple….i must say, while they are quite annoying, they did let me slumber in peace after the antihistamines and decongestants failed to get the job done.

As a military officer and professional pilot, I will tell you straight up, there is no shame in breaking things down to the most easily remembered, difficult to screw up, level you can. In military aviation, we use checklists for everything. Why? Because they reduce costly and potentially fatal errors by a HUGE margin. What you are describing here is extremely similar. Don’t let pride get in the way of doing stuff right!

Ha ha, mang, I’m the same as you– I will eat whatever amount of ice cream there is in the house: if it’s 1 pint I’ll eat the pint, if it’s 1 gallon I’ll eat the gallon. If it’s a full freezer it might take me a couple of days but I am capable… So I just don’t buy it.

This makes me think about the “patience” discussion the other day, and not eating the marshmallow . If the scientists in the article Nicole posted are correct, all we really need is the ability to *stop thinking about ice cream* (or in your case, black jelly beans). It’s not about obsessing about temptation and then “resisting”– that’s the road to the sugary abyss.

Maybe we should do an experiment to purposefully *not think about the stuff* while it sits there. I mean, if it’s like a muscle that can be exercised, why not stop relying on crutches.

I’ll try to get some ice cream today– Ha! I’ll see how long it can last in the freezer.

I’m glad someone else said ADD too. I was diagnosed when I was younger (18) and my challenges are the same as yours. I told my doctor I didn’t want medication, this is just who I am.

His suggestion was to find your crutches and lean on them. Understand where you have issues and use tools to compensate. I automate all finances, direct deposit to multiple accounts, all my bills are then automatically paid out of the correct account, on time. All I have to do is clean up the small dollar amounts at the end of the month in each account, then use it as a bonus night out. I use my blackberry and online calendars for everything. I WILL forget it, if it’s not in there, not because I don’t care (common misconception), it’s just the way my mind works.

I tell everyone I work with quite seriously, if it’s not in my calendar/blackberry, it’s not going to happen. Send me an invite even if it’s a 10 min informal meeting.

Have you tried Singulair? I have had seasonal allergies my whole life and have never found anything that worked. Claritin, Zyrtec, Allegra, homeopathy, Chinese traditional medicine…all completely useless. Last year, during the worst allergy season I’ve had in years, my doctor put me on Singulair. It was a miracle drug. I felt 100% well again in just a day or two. It’s expensive, so insurance companies don’t like to give it to you. But if your allergies are still bothering you at all, and you haven’t tried Singulair, ask your doctor about it. (I realize that I probably sound like a pharma rep, but I swear I’m not. Just someone who likes being able to breathe in the springtime!)

What helped me is:
- avoid: oily, greasy foods; foods with additives, foods with lots of flour (ie, bread!).
- moved to another part of the country with much less pollution than my birthplace.
- kept on experimenting with food and herbs and procedures and see how my sinuses react, what could get me relief. (like, have you looked into a neti pot? how do you respond to steamed eucalyptus leaves? etc)

I don’t have allergies, but my husband does — two things that seem to help:
1) Raw, local honey
2) Natural cleaning products — by which I mean vinegar, baking powder and salt (and water of course).
Staying away from Clorox and all those other things have significantly reduced his allergies. The Neti Pot, although somewhat icky & bizarre, truly does help when your nose is really plugged – once or twice a day seems to help for us and really clears out the nasal passages.
He’d tried claritin and nasal sprays with all the steroids and all — these little (natural) things seemed to help a lot more, long term.
Best of luck with it, JD!
(Oh, and knowing yourself well enough to figure out what works is smart, not stupid.)

When I was in college I would pay my rent for the entire semester right up front when I got my financial aid in. That way, no matter what else happened, I knew I would have a place to live. I wasn’t great with money then, and I’m certain it saved my butt (and my parents from having to send me rent money in December and April or May).
Now, I have my bank automatically send a check for our apartment rent each month. I saw that you mentioned above looking into a bill pay plan; we belong to a small credit union, and they even offer automated bill paying. I’m almost certain your bank would too. I have also automated almost every other bill we have, other than electric and my cell phone (I want to know what those are before I pay them).
The other thing I do is label whatever extra money we are paying toward credit cards in our budget as a bill. So even if it is in our checking account for a while, it’s not showing up as available money on my budgeting spreadsheet. This helps us a LOT.

JD, have you considered asking your office landlord for a discount for paying a year in advance? As it stands you are probably a dream tenant (landlords LOVE getting money early, especially if they don’t have to offer a discount!), but you could probably retain that status even with a modest discount. Plus, the return on that “investment” is much greater than the amount of discount you get. A 15% upfront discount is equivalent to a 31% compounding return over one year!

J.D.’s note: If GRS comments had a “like” button, I’d use it on this one. Great suggestion. I suspect my rent is going to go up in April, anyhow. I’ll see if I can’t convince him to keep the previous rate if I pay the entire year in advance.

I think those scientists would suggest not thinking about the ice cream by not having it around in the first place. It is very difficult to not think about purple elephants without a crutch in place (like putting a napkin over the marshmallow).

My mind is increasingly sieve-like. I blame menopause; my sister calls it “mental pause.” Oh, I get things done all right. Just not all at once. I’ll leave the room and come back later to find two or three half-completed tasks. Maddening.
I also lose track of time easily, particularly when I’m online. The problem is that sitting too long is not good for my aging joints. I set the stove timer for an hour before I sit down to work. The ring is incredibly obnoxious and impossible to ignore, so I must get up to shut it off — which reminds me to do some stretches and/or to walk a short distance (e.g., to put mail in the mailbox across the street) before sitting back down.
I have also taken to setting my cell-phone alarm to ring as a reminder for a specific activity or event, e.g., “When the phone buzzes at 3 p.m. it’s time to start getting ready to take the bus to that appointment.”
And notes to myself festoon MANY flat surfaces, from the desk to the kitchen counter to the bathroom mirror. It’s one way to use up junk mail: Cut it into squares and write on the blank sides.
All very low-tech mind games. That’s just how I roll. Now, if only I could remember where it is I wanted to roll TO…

I have a really hard time waking up even with an alarm-I’ll incorporate the beeping sound into my dream and just keep on sleeping happily. So my trick is to put the alarm right next to the shower so not only does it wake me up I actually have to walk down the hall to turn it off and then BAM! I’m already at the shower….

I have the same problems with allergies beginning in March. For my deviated septum I use BreatheRight strips at night. Other than that I use nasal lavage and Nasalcrom spray in the nostrils to try and block the histamine response.

JD — this loops back to your article on focus. Everything you are working on this year pertains to health and fitness, right? so this is one way of working towards your goal. Stay on track! And away from jelly beans!

As far as allergies go, I’ve had better luck with my naturopath than my allopathic physician. One needs to boost the immune system in general, so it can handle allergens. In the meantime, try eye flushes and nasal flushes (a neti pot is great for this); that can alleviate symptoms tremendously. Quercetin is known for being good for allergies; you can get a supplement, or eat lots of citrus fruits (especially the pith) and onions are a good source as well.

As for idiot-proofing my life (what I call it), I have to write down reminders AS SOON AS A THOUGHT OCCURS TO ME. I end up with envelopes scatter here there and everywhere, but I see them constantly, and work at amalgamating them.

If I’m away from home, I’ll call home and leave a message to myself on the answering machine, knowing that if I don’t, I’ll never remember what I needed to when I get home.

Before I go to bed, I’ll often sketch out a “to do” list, sequencing my day from first thing in the morning. I’m self-employed, so my schedule varies hugely, and without those notes, I often risk forgetting important appointments or tasks, or double-booking myself.

@Mimi – Oh I agree. Even though it was lightly snowing when I went to bed, I didn’t expect to see so much when I woke up. I thought we were finally going to get temps above 0.

I’m actually preparing myself for an “experiment” in April. I’m really good at doing things I put on my calendar (I use iCal). But, time that isn’t scheduled is so easy to waste. So, for April, I’m thinking about scheduling in my free time by assigning specific time slots to things like “read blogs” or “edit blog posts” and “read news sites.” Also, I want to go back to assigning exercise time on the calendar in hopes to help myself become more efficient. I have lots of stuff I need to get done, and I’m having trouble getting it done – because I spend too much time writing lists and not acting. Anyway, I’m interested in how this will turn out.

My other trick in the past has been creating a spreadsheet and printing it out, so that I get to cross off a day every time I complete the given activity. Being able to visually see my progress helped motivate me to continue and not give up. Of course, once you reach the end… you need another project/goal or everything just falls apart.

Oh no, no way, they did the exercises where the kids are taught things like imagining a frame around the marshmallow.

I quote it here:But Mischel has found a shortcut. When he and his colleagues taught children a simple set of mental tricks—such as pretending that the candy is only a picture, surrounded by an imaginary frame—he dramatically improved their self-control. The kids who hadn’t been able to wait sixty seconds could now wait fifteen minutes. “All I’ve done is given them some tips from their mental user manual,” Mischel says. “Once you realize that will power is just a matter of learning how to control your attention and thoughts, you can really begin to increase it.”

In real life you can’t always avoid stressors and you can’t make all temptations magically disappear– it’s better to have a solid coping mechanism, and if it’s one you can exercise, then why not give it a good work-out?

Of course this doesn’t work if you just try to “resist”, but it works if you exercise metacognition. “Out of mind, out of mind.” Ha ha.

Not sure if you read my reply to your post in that thread (it’s one of the last ones so you might not have seen it) but I practiced this method while on traffic– I can’t make the traffic go away, I can’t make the idiots hang up and drive, I can’t do my errands without driving, but I can think about something other than my frustrations.

Anyway, I’m getting a can of Colbert’s AmeriCone Dream and see how long I can make that sucker last.

This reminds me of when I was younger, and first took off for a long country drive in my mini. The car was low to the ground, and I was new to night driving- I found myself mentally cursing every car that left it’s high beam on, blinding me with their lights. When I started mentally thanking everyone when they did drop their lights, I found the trip far more bearable. Since then, I’ve used this concept constantly, and it makes my life so much more liveable.

JD, I am really forgetful and I write all sort of notes to self on postit. I think it’s a perfectly valid strategy to compensate for my forgetfulness. I also write on my palm sometime.

Here is one last example.
One morning, I was waiting for the train and heard a story about xtranormal on NPR and I though to myself wow, that is cool. I know I would forget about this by the time I get to work so I called my work number and left a cryptic message saying – “extranormal.”
So I was able to remind myself and made a short funny video.

Allergy — I’ve found Dr. Weil nasal spray exceedingly gentle and effective at preventing my used-to-be twice a year sinus infections. Also, see if there is a good NLP practitioner in your area. The “NLP Allergy Cure” (Google it) can be highly effective.

My tips —

When I get a treat (chewy Atomic Fireballs for me) I immediately throw half of it in the trash at the store, knowing that I won’t limit myself to a reasonable portion.

Paper file only things legally required or with lasting value. For other papers that might be useful someday maybe, file by stacking in a milk crate. When the crate fills up, empty bottom of all but last twelve months.

Move all record-keeping to Gmail, G2 phone, and LastPass.

Move all bill paying to automated accounts as far as possible. (Couldn’t you do that with office rent?) Do all other bill paying online.

All my life my friends and family have made fun of me because I can’t get out of bed until the very last minute. I’ve realized this is because once my alarm goes off, I actually begin to dream that I am up and getting ready. So what I have started to do is to get everything ready the night before… shower, set out my uniform, pack my gym bag, make my lunch, and set any extra things right by the door. In the morning I wake up at 8:20, get dressed, brush my teeth, grab my stuff, and I’m out the door by 8:30. I haven’t been late once yet! It sounds lazy that I can’t get up more than 10 minutes before I have to leave… but I’ve accepted that that’s just me.

I’m also lazy about cooking, so 1 or 2 nights a week I’ll spend an hour or two listening to music while I chop all the veggies and fruits I’ll want to use as ingredients for the week. Then when it’s time to make dinner, I just have to mix everything together and heat!

@43 Yes, you’re right. You should use that if you were, say, working at an ice cream shop. Or if it’s your spouse’s ice cream. The Kleenex example is in there too (I think…), so in the specific case it seems like not buying the ice cream, or hiding it behind some frozen broccoli would be somewhat more efficient in the standard situation. There’s a whole lot of good techniques they talked about in that article.

The Americone dream, sadly, gets a bit soggy if you leave it partly eaten for too long.

My husband tends to lose the key to our mail box. So we attached it to the end of a piece of telephone cord, and plugged it in an empty jack high on the wall in the kitchen. Now it is easily accessible, and easy to find.

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