Twimass video script *rough draft add comments if you think of something to add or fix*

Twivideo Script- with thanks to Cali the caltain twilighter, aimee, karina....if i fogot someone im sorry....ooh hey all the peeps in twichurch have helped....thanks yall for helping!!

Sing song (twipriest enters with the twilight book high over his head)

amazing vamps how sweet they smell. Those vamps, that sparkle and gleam! They once were alive, but now are dead. Once normal and now super hot.

Twipriest: Glory be to the Carlisle, the Edward, and the shaggy wolf. (all do sign of the cross) today is a day of reflection. Reflection over all the Cullen's have done for our lives and our daydreams. I ask that you keep in mind today all those who have not seen the light of Twilight and pray for them.

Twireader: our reading today comes from Twilight chapter ?: And then Edward said unto Bella: “Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me. The thought of you, still, white, cold....to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses....it would be unendurable. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.” the word of the vamp.

All: amen

(twipriest lifts twilight and goes to stand)

Twipriest: vamps be with you.

All: and also with you.

Twipriest: today we will be reading a section from the holy gospel of Eclipse according to the word of Bella. (do sign thingy). Jane said unto the Cullen's“'We don't make exceptions' she said. 'and we don't give 2nd chances. It's bad for our reputation. Which reminds me....' Suddenly, her eyes were on me again, and her cherubic face dimpled. 'Caius will be so pleased to hear that you're still human, Bella. Perhaps he'll decide to visit.'...'The date is set,' Alice told Jane, speaking for the first time. 'Perhaps we'll come visit you in a couple months.'...Jane's smile faded, and she shrugged indifferently, never looking at Alice. She turned to face Carlisle. “It was nice to meet you, Carlisle --- I'd thought Aro was exaggerating. Well, until we meet again....'” the word of Bella.

All: amen

Twisermon: today we are asked by the Twipope in Volterra, Italy, to reflect on the effect that Twilight and the holy mother, Stephanie have had on our lives. Without them, we would still be waiting for that letter to Hogwarts. Without them, we'd think that the Dark Knight was the best movie of 2008. Hot Topic would have nothing to sell and would have gone out of business by now. So be thankful and spend some time today with the 4 gospels.... Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. Spread the word to all non readers and may the vamps always be with you. (go back).
Now for the collection. We are collecting for the poor who cannot afford twilight... (give up random twilight stuff)
Now for the bringing of the gifts. These gifts are used in the communion celebration of Twilight. We have the apple and the coke. The symbol of the relationship of the holy couple and the symbol of the bond between the holy mother and the wolf. (bring big basket of apples and a can of coke)

Twireader: the responsorial psalm (RP) for today is “the lion fell in love with the lamb”
For all those who have not yet experience Twilight, we pray to the vamps (wpttv), RP.
For all those who denounce what they do not know or understand, wpttv, RP.
For the future actors in the upcoming films, that they may be given insight into the characters that they are playing. Wpttv, RP.
For Midnight Sun, that it may be finished and all Twifans may partake of the Edward side of things. Wpttv, RP

Twipriest: (lifts up and apple and coke) This is the fruit of the holy couple. It is the apple of our eyes. Do this in memory of Edward and Bella. This is the holy coke. It was consumed by Bella and Jacob in his garage. Do this in memory of Edward and Bella. Now all Twifans come up to partake of this special meal.
(all come up and eat an apple and drink some coke and sit down) (twipriest says: the apple of the holy couple; the coke of the holy friendship. Twifans say: amen)

song: Edward loves the little fanpires. All the fanpires of the world. Yellow, red and black and white. They are tasty in his sight. Edward loves the little fanpires, all the fanpires of the world.

Twipriest: (after a little pause) just some announcements for this week:
Twilight education after mass has been canceled due to the cold and the wet. It is rescheduled for Wednesday. There is going to be a ravioli dinner on Thursday in Forks Hall. All the proceeds go towards the Twinun convent in Phoenix. They are having a hard time making ends meet ever since the influx of homeless twilighters came after the movie release. Please come and support their mission. And finally, I would like to congratulate Prudence on her completion of her doctorate degree in Cullenism.... she will be serving as the Twipriest at Our Lady of Port Angeles. Please give her a round of applause. Now all stand. I dismiss you... may you all go in peace and love to serve the vamps.

lol hey thanks all! i was thinking of doing a Twifession too if the video goes over weill lol.... a whole missy youtube channel full of twilight themed videos..... hilarious videos.....*starts daydreaming* lol put my big imagination and ap english skills to use