Ever since Lance Armstrong decided to retire from Tour de France competition, nobody in America has cared much about the biggest event in cycling, with the exception of Tom Danielson and Christian Vande Velde, but 17th and 19th place ain’t going to cut it, fellas. However, this weekend gave us a few crashes to tickle our appetites for destruction.
Yesterday, a crash in the race’s 9th stage seemingly ended the career of Alexandre Vinokourov, above, who was famously banned after testing positive for PEDs at the 2007 Tour de France. He retired shortly after that ban, but then decided in 2009 that he didn’t want his career to end that way. Instead, it has apparently ended with a broken femur. But that’s arguably better than Jurgen Van Den Broeck of Belgium, as he was also involved in yesterday’s crash and is currently in the ICU with a shattered shoulder, collapsed lung and three broken ribs.

“Jurgen needs to stay two or three more days in intensive care,” team doctor Els Lemmens told Belgian television. “We have to make sure that his breathing problems don’t get any worse. We were worried about his abdominal pain because we feared a ruptured spleen or liver but that has turned out not to be the case. Everything is under control now.” (Via Cycling News)

Meanwhile, Spain’s Juan Antonio Flecha was sideswiped by a TV car during yesterday’s stage, causing him to collide with Dutch racer Johnny Hoogerland (new favorite name – Ed.), who in turn crashed into a barbed wire fence and suffered a series of lacerations.
Images after the jump, might be a little unsafe for the easily squeamish.

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Despite his injuries, Van Den Broeck actually got back on his bike and tried to continue before collapsing again from the pain.
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Van Den Broeck’s teammate Frederik Williams was also involved in the crash and was unable to continue.
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That’s Juan Antonio Flecha being taken out by the black car, with Hoogerland flying into the barbed wire fence right behind him. I’m guessing the driver was texting. The Jonas Brothers will be upset.
Despite crashing into a barbed wire fence and suffering a series of cuts, Hoogerland still managed to become the new leader of the King of the Mountains competition and wear the polka dot jersey. Metal.
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This actually has nothing to do with an accident, but this is the leg of cyclist Georgie Hincapie, who was Lance Armstrong’s wing man for all 7 of his Tour de France victories. This is apparently what your leg looks like after riding for 15 years. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m having some spaghetti.
(Via Cycling News/Reddit/Buzzfeed)

Meanwhile the NFL talks are bogged down over the players’ demand that an entire hospital of doctors be called onto the field to examine their every boo-boo, and that play not be allowed to resume until their mommies have read them Goodnight Moon and kissed them on the forehead.