If you value your liver or just have somewhere to be on Thursday (Friday if watching via the 'Net), read no further....

The rules are simple. Watch the CBS Show "Criminal Minds" and take a drink every time they pull some bs, unsubstantiated horsesnot out of their backside. You'll be blasted before the second commercial break.

Now, this does NOT include the "Ghost in the Machine" they call Penelope Garcia...a likable enough character, but GOOD GRIEF. How many episodes end with her saying, essentially, "the bad guy, aka UNSUB, is at {$address} (and yes, she'd appreciate that notation), GO GET 'IM!"

Ouch.

Okay, if you really think you are hard core...or Irish, drink any time someone refers to her as "Baby Girl" or otherwise executes "inside banter" like this is a real job occupied by real people. Hey...I can say that with a straight face...I've been to my share of infant and child autopsies, so SCREW YOU, MARK GORDON.

Look, I've been to bars and had people give up trying to drink shot-to-shot of 151 Bacardi against me, and the CM Drinking Game has me begging for mercy. I cannot play it beyond the First Act.

Definitely take a drink every time somebody finds some rare substance, puzzling clue or whatever, and Spencer knows everything about it. Yes, the guy is a genius with a photographic memory, but come on.

If you value your liver or just have somewhere to be on Thursday (Friday if watching via the 'Net), read no further....The rules are simple. Watch the CBS Show "Criminal Minds" and take a drink every time they pull some bs, unsubstantiated horsesnot out of their backside. You'll be blasted before the second commercial break.

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Hey...I can say that with a straight face...I've been to my share of infant and child autopsies

OMG, are you serious, Ulthar? That must have been awful.

Logged

Questions fell but no one stopped to listenThat eternity was just a dawn awayAnd the rest was sure to comeLeaves, caught in winter's ice

Yes, that is true; that was a big part of a former job. I shouldn't have mentioned it in this post, though. Call it a "slip."

My point was that this show is just an insult to the way crimes like this are solved. Yes, I know it's TV and such...I get it. But this one is SO FAR beyond anything even remotely believable, even though I am more than willing to suspend disbelief pretty darn far for the sake of entertainment, it's just nonsense.

It really has boiled down to them pulling conclusions out of thin air (ie, NOT profiling any real evidence) and Garcia just magically pulling the solution up on her computer every...single...week.

We've talked about the drinking game quite a bit and finally tried it out just for fun. I had to give up.

Garcia just magically pulling the solution up on her computer every...single...week.

Pretty much always comes down to that, doesn't it?

Hotchner: Garcia, pull up everybody who's signed out a library book in the past 30 days.Garcia: There's two thousand.Rossi: How many live in a three-block radius?Garcia: ninety-seven.Morgan: And drive a green car.Garcia: Fifteen.Spencer: The unsub would probably also have a history of littering.Garcia: Look at that. Just one.(picture of bad guy appears on the screen)

Wow, I could write for that show.

Still, I don't find Criminal Minds as goofy as CSI. Aside from Garcia being able to instantly access and cross-reference information from practically everywhere at once, the technology is not quite as ridiculous.