I knew a guy whose pet rabbit passed away over the weekend while he was out of town. Now, I assumed it passed from being kept outside without a proper nest box over a cold January weekend.

Boy, did he set me straight.

It. Was. SATANISTS! His evidence? "The rabbit's eyes...they were gone," he said to me like Dr. Drake Ramoray breaking the news to a terminal patient.

Yes. A coven of local devil worshipers (apparently plentiful in our small Oregon town) snuck onto his property, bloodlessly slaughtered the rabbit inside it's cage, cut out its eyes (again, bloodlessly) and then left on their Satanic business leaving the rest of his property undisturbed.

And he explained this with such oddly calm conviction. Like...there could not possibly be any other explanation. Satanists ate his bunny's eyes. And the calm, matter-of-fact way he said it was so off putting. As if murderous Satanists are are a normal occurrence in his life but nothing to get too worked up about.

And when I suggested that maybe the eyes, being a soft jelly-y organ, would be the first to shrivel or be eaten by parasites and only appeared to be "gone" ugh, he gave me a look of such pity as he slowly shook his head at my ignorance.

Omnis_evil_twin:I knew a guy whose pet rabbit passed away over the weekend while he was out of town. Now, I assumed it passed from being kept outside without a proper nest box over a cold January weekend.

Boy, did he set me straight.

It. Was. SATANISTS! His evidence? "The rabbit's eyes...they were gone," he said to me like Dr. Drake Ramoray breaking the news to a terminal patient.

Yes. A coven of local devil worshipers (apparently plentiful in our small Oregon town) snuck onto his property, bloodlessly slaughtered the rabbit inside it's cage, cut out its eyes (again, bloodlessly) and then left on their Satanic business leaving the rest of his property undisturbed.

And he explained this with such oddly calm conviction. Like...there could not possibly be any other explanation. Satanists ate his bunny's eyes. And the calm, matter-of-fact way he said it was so off putting. As if murderous Satanists are are a normal occurrence in his life but nothing to get too worked up about.

And when I suggested that maybe the eyes, being a soft jelly-y organ, would be the first to shrivel or be eaten by parasites and only appeared to be "gone" ugh, he gave me a look of such pity as he slowly shook his head at my ignorance.

/Cool story, sis.

When i was kid my step-father took my sister's rabbit cage out of the house and put it outside next to an aluminum shed on a very hot day during a Texas summer. The reflected heat and no shade killed the rabbit in about 2hrs. He wasn't the sharpest tac in the drawer.