His story? The USS Enterprise and his crew have to cope with Spock’s half brother, a cult leader and mystic who takes away people’s pain, and is on an obsessive search to meet God on the planet of Shakaree, who Kirk eventually takes on mano-a-mano.

Let me leave you with that description for a minute, so it can properly sink in.

To be fair to Shatner, he was hamstrung by poor special effects and budget, but this was a woeful idea from the start. Say sorry Bill.

I bet if you quizzed everyone connected to The Matrix and the machines too, their answer would not have been a sweaty rave, Colonel Sanders talking in riddles, blinding then killing the hero and dollops of incomprehensible philosophy.

Never mind Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole, this was uncontrolled film-makers racing up their own arses and hoping some cool fights would take everyone along for the ride. An apology? We’re still waiting.

1. Can’t you guess?

There can be only one and without giving anything anyway, his name rhymes with Lorge Jucas. Got it?

The man who gave us Star Wars has gone out of his way to piss off everyone who watched and loved the films. Han shooting second and Jar Jar Binks are the most obvious examples of the tinkering game he seems to be playing with himself to see how much shit people will take before crying uncle.

And what’s more – he doesn’t give a fuck what you think and recently said so on The Daily Show and other interviews too. As long as the cash keeps pouring into Skywalker Ranch, everything is fine, right?

An apology from him would be solid gold to anyone who loves the universe he made, but you may as well wish for a working lightsaber or getting a lift to work in the Millennium Falcon.

And that is that – as always your thought, comments and suggestions are more than welcome.