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I Am Now a Full Time Caregiver for My Mom and Dad

My Dad got a bowel obstruction and also found out that he has an arthritic condition in his spine which is very painful. Now he has mobility issues. They let him out of the hospital too fast and I learned how to take care of a sick person really fast. Dad was bed bound for three plus days because of the enemas he had to have. Now I am the nurses aide, the nurse, the caretaker, the housekeeper, the chauffuer, the cook, the shopper, secretary, bill payer, etc. for them. Don't get me wrong I don't mind doing the work, but I am not well myself. Also, had to give up a part/time job which would have garnered me around $4000, but family comes first even if I have to give up a job and I did really need the extra income.

I am waiting for my brother to get here Monday and help me out. I simply can't get everything done, including the housekeeping duties. My mother expects me to do it all 24/7 plus keep the house immaculate. She is loosing it mentally though so I understand her position, as she isn't thinking straight. She is 90 years old. I love her and my Dad very much and would do anything to please them, but it will probably end up killing me. I'll end my story here for now. Thanks for listening.

Taking care of two elderly and ill people would be very hard on someone who is healthy, let alone someone with health problems of her own. Don't try to take too much on. Will your brother give you all the help that you need?
The two of you will need to make some decisions. Do your folks have the insurance, or the means to live where they can have some professional assistance? I know that it is tough, but don't ruin your own health, please!
Hugs,
Marla

Do what you can and go with the flow. If your parents can not afford professional assistance, maybe a cleaning service. That would come once a week or once every other week? that would help you in that area. I know that practicing patience is the only way to go with your Mother. Mine is also slowly losing it mentally.

I can only imagine how difficult it must be caring for both of your parents and also trying to care for your own health. Are your parents eligible for any type of medicare benefits that might help to pay for home health care nursing? As Marla mentioned, perhaps you can look into their insurance to see what is covered. You need as much help as you can get and it might be beneficial to all of you to see if your parents are eligible for some type of care.
Please do not push yourself to the point where you put your own health at risk. Remember that we are here for you whenever you need us, but do take care of yourself...please.

so sorry to hear about the medical state of your parents. They are very lucky to have you there to care for them. However, like marla and saysusie said, you need to find some help for yourself. Our parents are so very important to us, but we can't help them if we push ourselves to the point of becoming sick. I hope there are provisions for some assistance in their insurance policies.

Since I last posted, we found out that Dad has a broken bone in the lumbar region of his spine. He is going to see his heart Dr. next Tuesday and if he gives the o.k. (Dad has a pacemaker, etc.) he will have surgery to fix the broken bone. Then, will go from there and see how he does. My brother wants him and Mom in assisted living. I would rather he and Mom remain in their home and get help as needed. Only time will tell what will transpire.

I am keeping your dad in my prayers and hope that, if the surgery is done, that it goes well and that he recovers well.
Talk to your brother so that they two of you can come to a decision about your parents that is comfortable for you both. I wish you the very best