Back in 2010, when Daniel Radcliffe put on the sorting hat and it said "Maker's Mark," he admitted to the press that he had been drunk during the filming of much of the later Harry Potter movies and decided to teetotal for awhile. Unfortunately, not anymore: last night he was thrown out of New York's Beauty Bar—okay, "he was soon encouraged by management to grab a cab," but that's "thrown out" in politespeak—after doing Jaegerbombs and getting into a fight with the DJ after requesting a Dusty Springfield song. The main question is whether he requested "Preacher Man," "I Only Want To Be With You," or "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me." My money's on "Preacher Man." He seems like a Pulp Fiction fanboy.

I feel for him. Thing is, sometimes drinking is the one of the only things that make you temporarily feel like a Gryffindor instead of a Muggle. ://// [Page Six]

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It should come as a surprise to absolutely nobody that "Tom [Cruise] runs his household staff with absolute military precision," according to a source who's presumably well acquainted with Cruise's Bel Air mansion. Apparently the workers aren't allowed to leave their designated "zones" of duty under any circumstances. There is also a math-and-ethics hiring test that sounds harder (and weirder) than the GMAT: "The test took an entire afternoon and included questions such as 'if you saw a car stuck on the train tracks with people inside, and a train approaching, what would you do?'" TWIRL MY MUSTACHE AND CACKLE, OBVIOUSLY. No but seriously, awesome that only the most smart, ethical people can clean Jack Reacher's toilet. [Radar Online]

Katy Perry and John Mayer appeared on the red carpet together as a couple for the first time at A Christmas Story: The Musical in New York. They took a bunch of awkward pictures with a Santa and a bunch of the pint-sized castmembers. Perry looks fine; Mayer looks stoned like James Franco hosting the Oscars. May the The Notebook-style notebook that they read to each other as a loving elderly couple be stained with Cheeto dust fingerprints and pizza grease. [Daily Mail]

TMZ bills this scuffle between Miley Cyrus's fiancee Liam Hemsworth and some other dude at a bar as a "street fight," but it's actually just a shitty low-quality video of the guy hanging onto Hemsworth's leg like a child scared to walk into the first day of kindergarten. (Except drunker.) Click through for video. [TMZ]

The menacing contents of Lindsay Lohan's storage locker are about to be auctioned off. [TMZ]

A member of Sarah Jessica Parker's "posse" was caught shoplifting frames at an Oslo, Norway airport, but look, I'm sure Samantha actually thought they were free spectacle shaped dildos and it was all just a hilarious, raunchy misunderstanding. [NYDN]