These coconut-waving shamans will help find the missing Malaysia Airlines plane, apparently

Breakthrough alert: Flight MH370 is 'being held in a land inhabited by elves.'

A well-known Malaysian shaman, Ibrahim Mat Zin (C) holds two coconuts as him and his assistants offer to locate the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 plane using a spiritual method and prayer at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) in Sepang on March 12, 2014. (MOHD RASFAN/AFP/Getty Images)

It's been an agonizing wait to find out what happened to Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370. Twenty-six countries and thousands of individuals have joined the search for the missing passenger jet, deploying their finest military equipment and the latest satellite technology to hunt for any sign of the vanished aircraft.

Well, someone ought to tell them: they can all go home. There's a new expert on the case — a Malaysian shaman who claims that he can help locate the world's most-searched-for plane using little more than a pair of coconuts, a magic carpet and something that looks a heck of a lot like 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat.'

Going by the title of Raja Bomoh Sedunia, or "World Shaman King," Ibrahim Mat Zin on Sunday performed an elaborate ritual at Kuala Lumpur International Airport in an apparent attempt to "break the barrier in the land of elves" that is keeping the plane trapped (oh, did we forget to mention? The plane is in the land of elves. Apparently). If that's not specific enough for you, Ibrahim also came to the helpful conclusion that "I think the plane is still in the air or has crashed into the sea."

The stunt quickly drew ridicule from Malaysian commenters and outrage from Chinese ones. The South China Morning Post even suggests that Ibrahim was acting at the invitation of the Malaysian government, though media reports from Malaysia suggest it was nothing more than publicity seeking on the shaman's part.

Either way, his tactless tactics are help that the relatives of the 239 people onboard Flight MH370 could probably do without. The investigation continues.