Big-Box Car “Willies”

We know that this happens but, to this point, we hadn’t received OR captured this kind of driver Jagoffery yet. Then, “BOOM” as startling as a 4-night-stretch-of-Pittsburgh_Pirates_victory-fireworks, we get 2 in the last 7 days!

Pictured above are some people that probably regret trading in the SUV for lower gasoline costs. SUV-Used-To-Bees! Typically we see this type of clueless-reckless-irresponsible-downright-dangerous-but-perfect-for-Jagoff-content when people are moving, and on the last load, they have no room on their friend’s pickup truck for one last mattress. So hold it on their roof at 60 mph.

But maybe we shouldn’t jump to conclusions and be so judgmental. Everyone, now and then, forgets their coffee on the car roof (or, in some cases, your Iron City). We offer 2 possible scenarios:

Possible Scenario 1:

The drivers pictured above went to IKEA where, if you’re trying to decide between purchasing a 2-bottle wall-hanging wine rack or a 25-piece dining room set, it doesn’t matter cuz everything’s the same basic kit there. The only difference between the IKEA wine rack and the IKEA 25-piece dining room set is: 4 extra pieces of plastic-coated cardboard, an extra baggie of self-locking thingies and 817 plastic connectors. Maybe these drivers were so engrossed in deciding which one to build, that they forgot to strap the kit down.

OR

Possible Scenario 2:

The drivers pictured above were walking past one of those “international house of weird stuff“ kiosks in the center of the mall. You know the ones where they try to suck you into their evil web of unnecessary conversation? “May I ask you a question?” or “Can I put some cream on your hands?” When our blog subjects were confronted by the kiosk-attendant, they panicked and darted into Sears, purchased a treadmill-clothes-hanger-device for NO GOOD REASON other than to have SOME excuse to IMMEDIATELY run in the opposite direction. In their getaway attempt, they forgot to strap their box down.

Yes? No?

Time to bring this to an end and simply say, hey, Big-Box-Car-Willies, we hope you’re not bridge or Marcellus drill builders!!! Some simple advice, before your car ends up flipping a wheelie like the Flintstone mobile with Dino in the back seat, pay the $35 dollars for delivery, Ya Jagoffs!

Thanks to Twitter Followers HondaZombie and BurghGourmand for being the Honorary Jagoff Catchers in the Greensburg and the Waterfront areas (respectively.)