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Friday, October 8, 2010

Friday, October 8, 2010

Since our posts here on CW invariably manage to offend someone - carrot lovers, grammar Nazis, Canadians - we've decided that *today's* commentary won't be offensive to anyone. Literally. In fact, it's going to be SO inoffensive that I'm trying not to fall asleep as I type thikjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

Huh? What? Where am I? Oh, yeah, non-offensive.

I forgot to mention that I'll be randomly choosing cakes from our archives, so there's really no telling what cakes we'll end up with. Rest assured that the commentary will be completely inoffensive, though. Promise.

Okay, here goes. Our first cake is #4,312:

"Hey-o! Are those supposed to be balloons, or, like, what?"

Huh, this inoffensive stuff is easy! Nothing to it.

Okay, next we have cake #245...

Hm. Inoffensive. Okay. "Boy, oh boy! What a fine, upstanding reputable bird that is! I salute pay respect to the baker who came up with imagined this design! That's not a peacock, is it?"

Alright, so this is kind of hard difficult. I'm sure I'll do better on the next one, though.

Cake #8,062:

[biting lip] Uh. Hang on.

[looks up e-mail]

Well, according to Stetson here, this is actually a bakery display in Colombia. [drumming fingers] Hm. Oh! I know: "Hey, was this decorated by gorillas or something?"

LTR, FTR. Your blog is beyond a doubt one of the funniest out there. It always makes me laugh and I have never been offended by anything. Today, though, you actually had me pounding on the table and howling with laughter.

Oh, this made me chuckle! As a new follower I'm deeply impressed by your self control and ninja diplomacy skills xD

I want to rearrange the pics so the badass baby is raised by the Klan cupcakes and becomes a Nazi cake decorator, then has a nervous breakdown (represented by the abstract balloons cake,) joins the Colombian militia and grows into an upstanding guerrilla who enjoys the occasional big brown (pea)cock on his days off.

Reminds me of a t-shirt I saw once - a t-shirt guaranteed to offend someone. Nuke the Gay Baby Whales for Jesus. Yep, you read it right. Not that I'm approving of it, but the inclusiveness provides a lot of humor...

Okay, useless trivia time! So the funny thing with the swastika cake is that if it really was meant to be a swastika they wrecked it... cause the way it's placed is actually the symbol for Buddhism, very peaceful and loving and not at all offensive. I guess the question is... what part of the world did that cake originate from?Which makes it more funny!Love the blog!

I am choosing to believe that the baby with the beer bottles and a gun was a groom's cake...for a 4th of July wedding..for a Scottish-American groom..I mean men are all babies, right? Oh, sorry, that was probably offensive.

Actually Margaret/Kelly/Chy, the swastika and sauvastika are both common symbols in Eastern religions in general, not just Buddhism. The swastika is pretty commonly used in association with Kuan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy and a reincarnation of the boddhisattva of compassion.

From a Nazi sympathizer POV, yeah, it would be a wreck, since the "left-facing" form is the sauvastika.

However, the symbols themselves have basically the same meaning in Eastern religions, and are swapped (left or right facing) more for balance issues than meaning issues. (Religion-dependent, of course - in Hinduism it's two different aspects of Vishnu, while in Buddhism it's a tantric representation of the universal mantra AUM, and so forth.)

I love it and the heck with those that have no sense of humor, we don't need'em! And I would like to apologize for the Canadians with no sense of haha it's usually one of our better traits. Keep up the good work!

Hey Kelly Hills! Thanks for the clarification on the swastika symbol, or whatever it is.I am kinda wondering though, if it's not supposed to be a nazi symbol, why is it in a white circle on a red background?

People who have nothing better to do with their time than get offended by a wrecked-cake blog really need to eat some sugar or something and get a leif. Yes. A leif. Eriksson, Davidsen, any of 'em, really.

Excuse me, pardon me for interrupting, I couldn't help notice that my fellow Canadians were apologising for their fellow Canadians with no sense of humour. (Please not that I have just proved myself to be Canadian by the "u" in humour.

The commentary on the turkey cake really had me cracking up. And the Klan-kakes, seriously, who would make that and think, "YEP, THAT'LL WORK." Or, since they're a wreckerator, maybe they're thinking, "Ep, that"ll wrk all in caps"

Jen, you are positively hilarious, even if someone else gets offended.

Hilarious! Sad to hear about people being offended. I think the non-offended crowd is a lot bigger than the offended crowd. And heck, it's your blog do what you want and if someone doesn't like it then they don't have to read it! I like all your posts and I even make sure my daughter gets to see some too, she loves your site! (she's 3)

As a Canadian who values good grammar and appreciates the crunch of carrots, I'm offended that you would think I would be offended :)

Not quite sure what the squiggle disk lollipop's supposed to be, but it wasn't too horrible (and was probably rather tasty) until it started leaching.

Is the turkey/peacock shedding springles, or are it's droppings multicoloured? If so, no wonder it's eyes are so huge in shock!!

So, guerillas like cake too. Not sure if the term "viva" applies with that kind of weaponry. Unless those soldiers are soldiers of cupid and they shoot love bullets???

Beautifully done cake, but if the wedding came after a drunken conception of a baby, shouldn't that be a shotgun, not a handgun? (At least the decorator didn't have the baby drinking from *those* bottles... alcohol's a teratogen, and the brain isn't fully developed until around about age 4)

And for those pondering the swastika, I think the colouring of the cake (red & black) belies the possibility that it has anything to do with the original (and peaceful) meaning of the symbol. Perhaps the decorator was trying to undermine the message... or else the cake is just further evidence of the ignorance of bigots.

If the cupcakes were photographed at Hallowe'en, they're just cute ghosts. If it's the same bakery that did the swastika, then they're not that innocent (cue soundtrack)

LOL!!!!! WAY too funny! How great to end the week on such a high note! Keep it up, Jen (and John!).

BTW, I'm surprised that the bakers actually made the swastika cake. There is a bakery near where I grew up who refused to make a cake with Hitler on it... check out the article... "Poor kids" is all I have to say.

Awww, go on, be offensive, please! People have to have SOMETHING to complain about! I mean, if you go all correct and careful, you'll be depriving someone of an opportunity to indulge his/her only talent!

Besides, a Wrecked Cake is already offensive, so you're starting in a hole.

ok, so while I don't get the whole concept of the drunk baby cake, I am totally digging that little gun! the details are superb! if they could blow that up into like a 8" by 8" size or so, I would love that on my birthday cake in a couple weeks! would absolutely make my day!

#1 I know, those are nerve cells. The red ones are the most active. Although that doesn't explain what is going on in the upper left area, where something seems to have been spilled... Eww.

#2 The Bevis Bakery strikes again.

#3 So Colombia is a land of flaming hills, giant soldiers and palm trees covered in snow? What the wreck?

#4 The wreck is the concept. As much fun as it is to [poke gentle fun] at wreckerators -- er, I mean, decorators -- sometimes the blame, er, error in judgment lies elsewhere. Newspeak is a very difficult language to master.

#5 The reversal was probably intentional. It gets the reference across without itself being a problem. Clever.

#6 To paraphrase Freud, sometimes a ghost is just a ghost.

I'm afraid, though, that today's post may be seen as patronizing by the easily-offended community. It isn't enough to treat everyone exactly the same -- we must treat everyone exactly the same in a way that makes them feel special. I hope that didn't make sense...

Kelly -- according to the documentary I was watching on DVD the other night, the Nazis were not consistent on their swastika-orientation. I've seen photos of Nazi tanks with this version painted on them.

I think you should have Satire Cake Day and see how each country could try to top the Colombia "gorilla" cake. Oh, I forgot, they are almost all good saatires, but I mean really putting out that "nationalism" This was one of the best posts - still LOL. And I LOVED the turkey cake. It's just like the turkey pictures of my childhood. I want one. Norine

too freakin funny....people are crazy....I look forward to looking at these...I figure if you don't know what you are doing yet you do it anyway for people to see, then it deserves to be laughed at....

Jen, I know you've read this a thousand times already I'm sure, but don't change, don't stress the 3 people that decided they didn't want to laugh daily anymore, their loss. I mean, really, 3 people compared to the hundreds-NO-THOUSANDS who read your blog. You have a disclaimer, if they can't read it, then.. they...are..em.. illiterate? yea. That's it.

KEEP EM COMING!

P.S: Is it just me or did anyone else look at the columbia cake and go "What? That flame thing coming out from between the guys legs?" and didn't blink at the fact it's a Guerrilla cake?

WV: Cente - I cente chair flying when I was off-ended laughing at your post!Miss Mina

How can you post Mel Brooks themed wrecks without offending someone? The Nazi flag would have been the perfect cake for the cast party for The Producers, and the ghosts cup cakes make me think of that scene in Blazing Saddles where Sheriff Bart and the Waco Kid infiltrate Hedley Lamar's recruitment line.

I was once in the tech crew for a community theatre production of The Sound Of Music at the local Jewish Center. Come intermission, all the smokers of the cast rushed outside for a cigarette. Nothing like seeing hoardes of nuns and nazis catching a smoke outside the Jewish center.

The Swastika cake is ok, as long as the buyers got what they wanted. It's actually done pretty well. In fact, except for the first two cakes, all the other ones are rather fine. Sure, the cakes' themes might seem in poor taste, but that's not the baker's fault.

This was an hilarious post, that had me in stitches after a long, hard (oops, sorry), day. I am amazed that it seems not to have occurred to anyone other than me that the picture of the swastika cake was merely posted backwards?

Keep up the fun and games, guys!Even the comments are uplifting oops, sorry again. I especially like the one about the "swastiks-orientation" Too cute!

On the swastika, in that orientation (fits in a square, not a diamond) it is the symbol Hitler TOOK the swastika from -- the Chinese symbol for power. He ruined it, but that symbol was absolutely harmless and benign before he did. It remains innocuous in Chinese ancient cultural themes but probably doesn't belong on a cake because of misinterpretation.

@Jeff-- nuns and nazis outside a JCC? love the mental image. Thanks for the guffaw.

@NAS -- now that's a brilliant ordering of the cakes for a conventional CW story line (ie if Jen wasn't trying to not offend they hypersensitive readers out there who've probably already left).

Love how on this blog, so many people know about the origins of the swastika, can tell it wasn't oriented correctly on the cake, and can launch into a debate about whether that was an error or not-- all without a single questionable hint of an opinion (ditto for the ghost/KKK cupcakes, which I suspect are meringues-- best comment there is about the cupcakes being chocolate)

I had to laugh at the KKK cakes. The shops have started stocking Christmas decorations, and I saw som white porcelain Santa Clauses with hats, sans bobbles, that stood straight up. First time I've ever seen Klansmorons in Australia :D

@Shadow and all the sauvastika people - it's a swavastepcot.

@Daisy - does she make KupKake Kakes?

@Jen and John - you guys are awesome, brilliant, funny, and people who are that easily offended have no business being on teh interwebs in the first place. They probably get their knickers in a knot at the bad spelling on icanhascheezburger. They'll probably be terribly upset at my use of the word "knickers." Try not to let them get to you, so many of us love you.

I find this post highly insulting to heritage turkey breeders. Anyone can see that cake #245 is clearly not a peafowl, but an adolescent broad-breasted bronze tom. As if the public does not already have disastrous misconceptions about these fascinating creatures, now we must contend with ignorance of the cake and icing variety. Shame on you and your tasty, tasty propaganda.

The pedant in me says that there is a difference between ghost cakes and KKK cakes: ghosties have a cute little curl on their quiff. At least, according to Ghostbusters they do...

She (yes, the pedant is a she) also says to Andy at 3.16pm: Did the lack of a "u" html tag prevent you from putting in the underline? Or were you going for the even more minimalist version, the "single full stop"?

Hopefully she's out of my system now. Thankyou for another hilarious post!

Oh my goodness.. I cannot stop laughing..though I am wondering who the heck orders a swastika cake???? Oh don't answer.. I am too afraid to know.. even wreckerators wreck offensive things this is good to know..

I was actually asked once to put a swastika on a cake! I worked at a hotel and the head chef was Swiss. He wanted a cake for Hitler's birthday. I am not making this up. (He claimed it was for a joke). I refused so my boss had to do it. She said how could I be offended, since I wasn't Jewish? Wish I'd complained to HR.

I was reading this while watching Carlos Mencia who, as I'm sure you are well aware, is an equal opportunity offender. He picks at EVERYONE! So... I vote you go back to your normal commentary and if people can't handle it, they can quit reading. I love you! Keep it up.

The last one is clearly kids dressing up for Halloween as ghosts.And the one before that has the counterclockwise version (sewastika) not the offensive (to non-East-Indians) swastika. So both are blatantly inoffensive.Harmod Jorgensson

The baby is Baby New Year. I didn't read all the comments so I don't know if anyone figured that one out. In Texas, at least, people shoot off their guns at midnight on Jan 1st, and I assume the empty beer bottles are a nod to the hangover most folks have on the New Years Day. I'm a cake decorator (most fun job ever!), so I spend a lot of time trying to decifer weird ideas, symbols wanted, and terrible sketches from customers. I think the Swastika was reversed as a protest that will undoubtably go right over the customer's head.

Not surprisingly, the swastika cake was made by an ignorant decorator... it is drawn backwards (the arms should face right). I only know this from having to do a lengthy paper on use of symbols during wartime efforts and a quick wikipedia check.

Perhaps cake #1 is for a fertility lab tech...after all...it does look like a festive take on little swimmers under a microscope. It should read...Happy Birthday...good job getting so many women pregnant!

And with the "turkey" cake...All I saw at first was the huge knockers on that bird...it was only after looking at the caption that I realized it was standing at attention...and those were a more southern set of twins :-)

wv: aphose...At first sight I thought it was a peacock...but it turned out to be a phose.

Cake number one is surely a neurological mapping cake, designed to encourage someone revising for HumBio 3A, and as such should be encouraged. (I refer you to "It's Too Late To Apoptize" and other smash bio-hits for further clarity...)

The "swastika" is actually the indian symbol for rolling waters. With the border on the cake I'm thinking maybe that was what they wanted and didn't intend to have a Nazi celebration. Just my $.02 worth.

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