The Question of Unrequited Love –

Can We Change Others & Their Feelings for Us?

All great poets, philosophers, and writers agree on one thing – love makes our world go around. Without love, life has no meaning. Love is what fragrance is to flower or what wings are to a bird. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the hankering after love is so strong in every human heart. We all crave to call someone our own – a person on whom we can shower all the love and affection of our heart.

However, just as much as we want to love and be loved, we must never lose recognition of the fact that we can’t change another person or their feelings for us. That being said, there really isn’t even a single human heart which hasn’t ached under the crushing pain of unrequited love. Sometimes we love someone so much that we feel we can give up even our life for them but, in return, we never receive the love and loyalty we think we deserve.

Loving Unconditionally

Pure love is always unconditional – this means that nothing is expected in return for the loved one chooses to give. Unconditional love is the very fabric of the Universe – it is the cord that binds everything in nature together. The sun gives its sunshine without expecting anything in return. The river gives us water without asking for anything. Learn from nature and open your heart to loving without conditions attached.

Besides, what can you even get from expectations? All it can ever bring you is disappointment and frustration because no matter how hard anyone tries, no one can ever fully love you exactly the way you want them to. Everyone has a different way of expressing their love so even if they do love you profoundly, their manner of conveying that love might not always be to your liking.

Also, everyone in this world is psychically wounded in one way or another. Even if they love you with all that they are capable of, it might still not be the most fulfilling experience for you.

Fulfill Your Needs from The Source Itself

If you try to find satisfaction and happiness through human relationships, you will always be disappointed. You must understand that love is inside your heart. When you are in a relationship, you simply become aware of the love that is already inside you. Even when relationships fall apart and people choose to move out of your life that love is never really gone. It is yours and always will be. This love that’s inside of you comes from the Universe. You are a glorious child of the Universe and your heart is filled with the very fabric that the Universe is made out of – unconditional love.

No matter how broken or unloved you feel at the moment, don’t ever forget that YOU are the ocean of unconditional love. Relationships only help to bring you in touch with what you already have. This love is yours and always will be yours. When you sit down quietly in meditation, you become aware of this ocean flowing inside of you. The world that you see with your open eyes is only a mirage – Truth can only be experienced with your eyes closed.

The love that you crave to drink from human hearts is, in reality, a manifestation of the creator’s infinite love. Each human heart is like a small chalice in whom the creator’s infinite love is contained. However, the human experience of love often involves a play of the ego, wherein, the purity of Divine love becomes tarnished with the shadows of human expectations and selfishness.

If you are feeling disappointed in your emotional life, then it is time to re-establish your connection with the Divine. Only the Source can truly fulfill you. Why hunger for a few chalices when the ocean itself can be yours!

Total Acceptance

Where there is love, there is acceptance. If you can’t accept someone fully for everything they are and everything they are not at this very moment, then you don’t really love them. Therefore, don’t complain about what you don’t have – instead, rejoice in the beauty of what you do have.

No two people are the same. Hence, no two people have the same way of expressing their love. Each person has a different manner and ability to love based on their own unique psychological blueprint which is created from their past experiences.

Trying to change another person will always lead to disappointment for both people. The person who feels compelled to change will feel hurt and disappointed at not being accepted for who he or she is. On the other hand, the person who wants to change their partner will encounter intense frustration as it is nearly impossible to intentionally change another person.

The Power of Love

If a change of any kind is possible, then it can only be inspired by another person. When you love someone profoundly and unconditionally, it touches something deep inside them. Only love can transform another person. They might not become exactly what you want them to be but they’ll surely start becoming the best version of themselves. Love is to the human soul what water is to a plant.

However, if you love another with any agenda – even if the agenda involves wanting to inspire a change – then your love no longer remains unconditional. It will likely not even have the same effect on them as you desire. Love is total acceptance and complete freedom. Allow the person you love to be themselves and your relationship will reach its highest potential.

Understand The Purpose of Human Relationships

The experience of human love is an instrument for our own spiritual healing. The purpose of a relationship is not merely to lead us to a ‘happily ever after.’ The experience of real love opens our wounds, revealing everything that is unhealed and broken inside of us. Most people feel overjoyed when they first fall in love but they get petrified when the real work of love begins. You have to face another person’s darkness and reveal your own darkness in order to fully experience love.

Be who you are and accept another for who they are. Human love is never perfect but it is the light that leads us to the perfection of our own Soul – a quiet and tender place where the ocean of unconditional love flows without beginning and end!

Our team includes spiritual writers and practitioners who desire to help people on their path toward spiritual growth and enlightenment. We create based on Rev. Sheri's ideas as well as questions received from our audience.

I am married to man who I truly love. We have a family. He is a broken man from childhood issues, which is coming up now because he never dealt with them. I will always love this man, but I don’t know how to stay together because he is unhappy and doing things that I don’t like. Is that my ego. Should I really break up my family? I wish I knew what guidance to follow here. When I pull cards, I get conflicting messages, which furthers my conflicted thoughts.

Hi SS, thank you for commenting. Speaking as someone who has also been broken due to childhood issues, I would say not to give up on someone you love … because they really need that love. However, it is important to also be aware of your own needs. I would suggest maybe working together to see what kinds of things make you both happy. If your husband had a difficult childhood, he may be feeling like he does not know how to be happy. For anyone going through this kind of challenge, I would strongly suggest seeing a good therapist. I have been lucky to find one that is also a Shaman, and she has helped me a great deal. Just yesterday, we talked about the exact issue you are asking about here. I found that I didn’t know what happiness was because my happiness has always made others angry or jealous, which never worked out well for me. I didn’t feel it was safe to have happiness, and I am learning to deal with that. I’m sure it can be frustrating to be the spouse of someone going through such a challenge. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and encourage your husband to do things that bring him true joy. It’s possible he may not even know what that is, but it is worth working toward finding.

I have also found that when the cards seem to conflict in their messages, it is many times because I’m just not understanding the meaning. You might have to think outside the box a little, the card/message might be a little different for you. Those communicating through the cards are limited by the cards we are using. Maybe open your heart and mind to other types of communication … music, artwork, overhearing a conversation that ends up meaning something important to you. Heaven works in many different ways.

I hope this helps. O:) Wishing you much love and Heavenly blessings! <3

I fell in love with this guy 3years ago he didn’t know that last year we communicated through text messages and sometimes phone calls we spent time together last year and In December of last year was my last time seeing him . I can’t stop thinking about him I’ve tried over and over again to focus on something else I’ve prayed and had others to pray for me I want to move one even though I love Him he doesn’t feel the same about me. Pray with me please to break the stronghold in my mind.