Even while juggling several affairs and a booze problem, my Mad Men hero Don, would never have allowed these mind-bogglingly stupid ideas to leave his office, let alone make their way into the real world.

There’s been a lot of talk about these gaffes this week as United Airlines also found itself in the eye of a serious public relations disaster.

Unlike the blundering buffoons at Nivea and Pepsi, this was an unsavoury incident in which United had a customer forcibly dragged from a plane to make way for its own staff.

The flight had been overbooked and the airline was not about to let anyone stand in the way of its take off. It may not have been a premeditated marketing ploy gone awry, but United’s subsequent handling of the incident came up just as short as Pepsi’s.

The fizzy drinks giant made a mealy-mouthed apology to those offended by their idiotic ad, before eventually taking ownership and admitting a full-fledged mea culpa.

The Donald has gaffe-jockey Sean Spicer — the man who this week referred to Nazi concentration camps as “Holocaust Centres” — in charge of his public affairs.

As customers, and citizens, we surely deserve the standards set by Don Draper in Mad Men.

What we really don’t need is actual mad men.

Sean Spicer, I’m looking at you.

How can this be?

McVITIE’S have confused everyone this week by claiming the chocolate is on the bottom of their biscuits.
Most right-thinking citizens would assume that the chocolate on Digestives and Hobnobs was on the top. Not so, apparently.
According to the biccy company, the chocolate side is actually the bottom and the McVitie’s stamp on the biscuit side marks the top of the snack.
I just don’t know what to believe anymore.

A heavy price on honesty

IRELAND’S treatment of whistleblowers to date has been nothing short of appalling.

Sergeant Maurice McCabe was subjected to a hideous smear campaign when he spoke out about the quashing of penalty points within An Garda Siochana.

And this week we heard how Jonathan Sugarman, has also been treated like a pariah since he lifted the lid on alleged lending malpractice in the banking sector.

Once a high-flying bank executive, Sugarman told the Oireachtas Finance Committee that his life has been “utterly destroyed” by doing the “right thing”.

TDs on the parliamentary watchdog heard that the former Unicredit Ireland risk manager has been relying on friends to help him put food on his table, as he has been unable to work since he reported the bank in 2008 for breaching liquidity rules.

According to Sugarman, the Central Bank — the industry regulator — did nothing when he warned that the bank was operating with billions of euro less than it was legally required to have in available cash.

He resigned from Unicredit in September 2007 over “issues of integrity”, and says he has been unable to find work since — even elsewhere in institutions in Europe.

He added: “Thanks to friends I can feed myself. When I needed to go to the dentist a few weeks ago, my friends got together and paid the dentist.”

This is a man who should have been lauded for taking a principled stand. Instead he’s paying an all too-high price, while those who didn’t follow the rules got off scot-free career-wise.

And still we wonder why wrong-doing is so often brushed under the carpet in Ireland.

Live a little

LOTTO winners often annoy me — and not only because I’m very jealous.
So many of them give interviews in which they vow not to let the cash go to their head and promise to invest it wisely.
C’mon, what’s the point in being a millionaire if you’re not going to live it up a little?
Buy a yacht, quit your job in a blaze of glory, build an obnoxious gaff and maybe even hire a Kardashian for a date night. Thankfully, Galway woman Niamh O’Meara, right, who collected her €297,960 EuroMillions win this week, looks like she plans to enjoy it.
She’s already bought a new car, booked a holiday and intends to splash out on a house.
A woman after my own heart. Good on ya, Niamh!

A sexpot boiler in Gais ads

THIS is Liam, a Bord Gais engineer.

He has serviced more than 20,000 boilers over the past 18 years, and clearly has many satisfied customers.

You don’t get 6,500 cups of tea made for you unless you’re handy with a spanner.

But he’s now a viral sensation thanks to a post that appeared on the Bord Gais Facebook page this week.

The company uploaded a snap of handsome Liam looking like the seasoned boiler expert that he is — and it wasn’t long before the women of Ireland reacted.

“My boiler suddenly broke *hides hammer*,” said one, while another Bord Gais customer was furious her boiler had been serviced by someone who looked nothing like Liam.

Of course, there were also a few people who were all too quick to point out that some ladies’ behaviour was awfully sexist and would never be tolerated if Liam happened to be a woman.

Hopefully, hunky Liam sees the funny side of it all. I for one think it’s gas — or should that be gais?

Don‘t Harper on about it Vic

VICTORIA Beckham appears to have big plans for her mini-me Harper.
The fashion designer made the strange move this week to trademark her five-year-old daughter’s name.
Registering with intellectual property authorities will allow her to bring out branded products, with VB already claiming rights to “Harper Beckham” lip gloss, mascara, pencil sharpeners and bouncy castles.
I’m a big fan of Victoria but I find it odd that she and her husband seem so keen to get their brood involved in ‘Brand Beckham’.
The kids have grown up in the limelight and now it seems that they already have a career path paved for them as celebrity endorsers — should they wish to follow it.
At just five, Harper should be playing on bouncing castles, not selling them.