The evening
had turned a painful 'flop'! She'd waved her hands in all variety of
dance 'mudras' to display the rock sized adornment on her finger, with mention
of "Tiffany" at every drop of a sentence, the applause and envy she'd
dreamed of had been rudely upstaged by Silky Sood’s new silver-mauve
acquisition glinting brazenly in the drive. She couldn't pronounce 'Lamborghini'
but had that stopped her from tom-tomming reference to the cussed object? The
Dudlani's evening had turned murkily sour! Paul the driver summed up the
evening –"Aapan-log much jolly! Ek Sunday mutton curry, ek Sunday chicken
curry, ek Sunday fish curry, ek Sunday 'aeig'-curry, phir salary- day and
'fiqar-not' ka bottle! Kamti paisa, kamti tension!"

Even what you
eat society tells you! If the desert has to be red velvet or Macaroons flown in
from Sprunglii from then so be it! Even if your face turns pink without the aid
of blush-on.

This little scene is a reflection of the times
that are. And of the aspirational, amorphous section of Mumbai life, called
"Society".

So
what’s the philosophy of our times? It is well recognized that this same
‘society’ bow’s well to the well-endowed! Never mind how the ‘well-endowed’ Mr.
Money-bags acquired the stuff. His last summer holiday could have been at the
most ‘prestigious’ Tihar Jail, but so long as he’s got the props he’s welcomed
with open arms. And this society is the self-appointed code setter of ‘where
you will live; what you should wear; how you should live; where you must
holiday; what sport you should play; how equipped you are with salon cars,
yachts, watches, international brands, what you should do and more importantly
what you must not do.

I'm wondering,
with the recently announced Bharat Ratna for Atalbihariji, they overlooked the
spectacular achievements of one Mr. Yadav of U.P? His stupendous talents in
conjuring up hundreds of thousands of crores (gasp!!) as a govt. engineer
baffles. Mumbai society too lives the mantra. You got it you flaunt it.
You aint got it you still flaunt it's appurtenances as though you've got it.
You can’t make it then fake it, mortgage, beg, borrow or import container
loads of fakes from China. Your red blood cell count is directly proportionate
to your neighbor's green complexion! And you are nobly doing
your bit of national level economic social service. Banks, institutions and
related bodies pay their dazzling salaries to staff on your overdrafts, loans
and mortgages!

I'm wondering
about those times of when Bombay boasted a cosmopolitan, cultural, more
genteel, achievement oriented elite. The kinds that read books than the carats
on a diamond alone, and attended theater, that spent the afternoon
at Jehangir art gallery. A breed soon to be relegated to dinosaur era.
Time was, they could patronizingly deride Delhi and its emphasis on crass
ostentatious, nouveau riche culture. I so clearly recall a Bombayite, telling a
Deli-ite who had built an outrageous, tasteless, monument of a house -
"all that is lacking in your house Mr Bubbar, is wall-papering it with
thousand rupee notes!” Today the description could be swapped to fit Mumbai
more aptly.

Madam
Dudlani, Silky Sood and their ilk convey to their dedicated followers what to wear,
where to gather, where to live, if you have to be considered an adequate being
to belong to that amorphous, gigantic amoeba called 'Society' whose
aspirants go to any lengths to strut the stuff on the ‘internaat’ because
they couldn't make it to Page three in their morning papers! Hours
spent strategically posing to impress and convey the image of plenitude
and being branded at any cost-labels, and such, from wearables and even luggage
and it’s the international companies that are laughing all the way to the bank!
Even to the nuances! Absurdly 'mwah-mwa-ing away to glory!

There
is an exclusive ladies lunch for twenty. As a society ‘doyen’ enters- derriere
following faithfully- a veiled scrutiny of appraisal awaits the coiffure,
dress, shoes (Choo’s?), the logo on the handbag- oh yes! The handbag. If five
years ago LV was the monogrammed de rigueur, then today most have
come with versions of Hermes’ Birkin. The line-up of
different colors of the Hermes Birkin is like bandmasters in a
line-up with their ‘badge’ of acceptance. You have to have one. And all else
‘society’ dictates. But then after all that have you ‘arrived’?

That my
dear is only the beginning. There are limited editions, collectors series, high
end acquisition, cars, yachts, penthouses, holiday homes in the Mont Blanc,
private jets……….the stakes just get higher. And you cannot even pronounce
Champs-Élysées nor Saint-Germain-des-Prés. but you claim they are your weekend
getaway from Mumbai?. You can pine for the moon -and even get it- but Silky
Sood has already lassoed Mars !

A friend while catching a single malt with me at the
bar once confided, vexed “My wife is happiest getting me all dressed up in
branded wear and labels, from head to toe -parading me around- I quite feel
like a monkey.”

Though men like to think that this society thing is a women
driven affair, not so. Men too sum up social worth, with their own parameters -
the whiskey they serve, cigar sources, watches and pens and of course the
stable of cars or horses, the properties and the homes. They’re equally
happy to qualify into society’s ‘snob set,’ and equally insecure about losing
their footing there, because ‘Society’ can quite nonchalantly drop you when the
bank balance dips!

It’s increasingly a society that marks education, all
accomplishment, even art by its money returns! I'm wondering, the Mr. Yadav,
until recently a mere government engineer, much in the news will soon be the
toast of the ‘elite’ drawing rooms of Mumbai lauded for his most spectacular
achievement,?

What’s the New Year going to bring?

Have we lost
the ability to live life for the special moments, joie de vivre, and laughter
for the sake of it?

Are we allowing society to lead us by the nose?

Where it will! If allowed. They will meekly follow
what Madam Dudlani or Silky Sood establish unsaid iron rules? Is it really so
important to try and fit in to this something that is so elusive and never
fully achieved?

It is said that the USSR broke down although the
entire population was assured the basics of food clothing and shelter.
Presumably this was not utopia!! People felt suffocated at the lack of freedom
of choice. At the end of the day, one does get a thought that the way of the
vagabond as he whistles on his own path does sometimes bring joy.

Little, 4 year old Goldie won a cup in the sack-race
at school. The celebration is at the "Wasabi" never mind that the
night's hero surreptitiously slides the raw fishy sashimi slices under table
covers and gags over the sea weed, while Papa, with a triumphant smirk pretends
loudly, to be outraged at the excessiveness of the six figure bill.

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ABOUT NISHA JAMVWAL

Nisha is a Columnist & Luxury Brand Consultant who consults with ZOYA by TATA, and other luxury brands . She has conslulted with Diago, Carlsberg, Swarovski, and done branding events for Natures Basket, Lancome & other International brands.

Columnist & Writer - Nisha is a columnist with newspapers & magazines & on the advisory board of Good Homes. English Literature & Art education translated into two books on Traditional Indian Craft & preserving ancient traditions of Craft.