selfishness

i was thinking about this today. or, actually, just now: selfishness is such a weird concept.

or maybe insidious is a better word for it. or subtle.

i always thought selfishness was kind of an obvious thing, like not sharing your toys or giving your little brother the smaller of two cookies and taking the bigger one for yourself. (not that i actually have a little brother, in the strictest sense, to deprive of big cookies.)

today i learned about being accidentally selfish.

have you ever not told someone or some group of people about a particular matter because you didn’t want to bother them? or, maybe, because you didn’t want them to be worried/grieved/angered/frustrated/etc. by it?

something tells me “you” is still the subject of that sentence.

okay, let’s be fair: you might have good, legitimate reasons for doing/not doing whatever it was that might have been construed as selfish. it might not even have occurred to you that the someone(s) mentioned above would deem a particular thing important and worth knowing.

however, not giving consideration to how your actions, reactions or inactions will affect others is, quite possibly, selfish.

take out the “possibly” in that last sentence.

philippians 2:3-4 puts it this way:

do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard others as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (nasb)

so what effect does what i’m doing — or not doing — have on you?

this idea is fascinating to me, and, in a way, almost funny. if it didn’t have the potential, at the same time, to be so sad.

i think i will have to have some more thinks on this thought. but in the morning, when all the little thinks will line up straight in a row for me and lend me some coherency. not at midnight.