Mental and Emotional Intelligence

I just had to post this picture that I saw on my LinkedIn page called “18 Things Mentally Strong People Do”. If you check out the picture, I think you’d agree with every statement that has been made with respect to what mentally strong people do. I’ve also read a book called Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. You’ll find that book very enlightening as you assess yourself and find out what level of emotional intelligence you exhibit. It’s one thing to have a high IQ – Intelligence Quotient, but it’s another to have a high EQ– Emotional Intelligence Quotient. It’s not enough to be a smart person if you lack self-control with your emotions and are a train wreck in the workplace or in your personal life. It’s important to build self-awareness of your emotions and learn to bridle your tongue especially when people attempt to offend you. In my opinion, emotional intelligence is the attribute of the strong and the wise. It is something that we all have to strive for if we want to walk about as wise people. Down below, I’ve pasted a picture that defines 18 things that mentally strong people do. Check it out and assess if you exhibit any of these traits.

From a Biblical standpoint, I think that a person with emotional intelligence has the very fruits of virtue and self-control as described in 2 Peter 1:5-8NKJV.

2 Peter 1:5-8NKJV – [ Fruitful Growth in the Faith ] But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

In the Bible, we also have people that exhibited a lack of self-control that landed them in trouble i.e. Samson. If you read the story of Samson starting from Judges 13 , 14 to 15, you will notice that Samson had an issue called LUST. He first wanted a Philistine woman that he had seen to become his wife knowing full well that the Philistines were enemies of the Jews at that time and yet he demanded of his father to get that woman because he obviously lusted after her. His doting father tried to convince him to look for a Jewish woman to become his wife, but Samson in his arrogance refused and his poor father sought out the woman that Samson lusted after. This is where I stop and say “Men, be careful with respect to the type of woman you seek out to be your wife”. If she doesn’t have the character of aPROVERBS 31woman, then she ain’t worth it. I promise you that you will live with a lifetime of pain if you seek out “crae-crae” (Crazy) women to be your wife no matter how alluring their appearance maybe. Don’t just simply look at the outward appearance of a woman, look at their HEART!

If you continue on with the story of Samson, in Judges 14, he saw a woman in Timnah who was the daughter or one of the uncircumcised Philistines and told his father to seek her out for him. After reading that part in the Bible, a part of me is like :“are you such an idiot Samson that you can’t pursue the woman yourself? Why must you be such a baby and cry to your father to do something that you a MAN can do on your own?!”. Could he be a Mama’s boy or something?…Honestly, I digress so no comment on this part of the story…I just shake my head in disbelief. His parents were unaware that this was an occasion where the Lord had wanted to move against the Philistines because at that time the Philistines had dominion over Israel. So his parents took Samson and went down to Timnah with Him. On the way there, there was a young lion that came roaring against him in Judges 14:5, however, he tore that young lion apart in verse 6 and didn’t tell his parents about it.

I get the feeling that the Lord sent this lion as a sign to warn him not to go and get that Philistine woman to be his wife but he didn’t pay attention to the obvious sign and killed the lion without telling his parents because I’m sure they would have reached the same conclusion as myself. This is where Samson practiced WILLFUL DISOBEDIENCE. The Lord was warning him, and he ignored the sign because he was determined to pursue something that he shouldn’t have sought out. This is where I stop and say men and women, do not seek out trouble because if you do, trouble will find you. I don’t think that this story is just targeted towards men, I think women need to pay attention and understand that you shouldn’t go after people that do not share the same belief system as you do otherwise you will encounter a lifetime of unnecessary and avoidable pain and disappointment. WAIT ON THE LORD and He will show you who you’re supposed to marry in due time. You need to have patience rather than be cocky like Samson and take things into your own hands and make a life-changing mistake.

Anyways, continuing on with the story, he ended up marrying the woman who later on became the subject of his demise as his Philistine wife ended up tricking him into telling her the answer to the riddle that he had posed to 30 of his companions with respect to the secret as to where Samson gets his strength from in Judges 14:14:

14 So he said to them: “Out of the eater came something to eat, And out of the strong came something sweet.”

The irony of this riddle is that the answer found in Judges 14:18 which states:

18 So the men of the city said to him on the seventh day before the sun went down:“What is sweeter than honey? And what is stronger than a lion?

alluded to the fact that Samson had eaten the carcass of the lion that he had torn apart at that time which also had honey in it and shockingly he had fed that same meat to his parents in Judges 14:9 which had defiled them:

9 He took some of it in his hands and went along, eating. When he came to his father and mother, he gave some to them, and they also ate. But he did not tell them that he had taken the honey out of the carcass of the lion.

The end result of having solved the riddle was this in Judges 14:19:

19 Then the Spirit of the Lord came upon him mightily, and he went down to Ashkelon and killed thirty of their men, took their apparel, and gave the changes of clothing to those who had explained the riddle. So his anger was aroused, and he went back up to his father’s house. 20 And Samson’s wife was given to his companion, who had been his best man.

He ended up losing his wife to his best man because he was tricked. At this point, I’m thinking to myself, how stupid must you have been Samson to get tricked like this? His lust caused him to make life-changing mistakesthat altered the course of his destiny. It’s one thing to be anointed with strength, but brute strength without application of wisdom is foolishness in my books.

He attempted to retrieve his wife from his best man by going to his father-in-law’s house in Judges 15:1-2, but his father-in-law told him that she had already been given away to his Philistine companion and tried to offer Samson his other daughter. Samson was ticked off and decided to burn up both the shocks and the standing grain, as well as the vineyards and olive groves of the Philistines in his plot of immature revenge in Judges 15:3-5. He really believed he was doing a great thing, but in my opinion, this was another trademark of his immaturity. He doesn’t think things through and just reacts all the time. Ugh!! When the Philistines found out what Samson had done, do you know what they did next? They killed the poor man and his daughter in verse 6:

6 Then the Philistines said,“Who has done this?”

And they answered, “Samson, the son-in-law of the Timnite, because he has taken his wife and given her to his companion.” So the Philistines came up and burned her and her father with fire.

The next mistake he makes is when he meets a prostitute named Delilah in Judges 16. Delilah tricks him into telling him where his strength lies as he reveals that it comes from his hair in Judges 16:17 :

that he told her all his heart, and said to her, “No razor has ever come upon my head, for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If I am shaven, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.”

If you read on the story of Samson, he eventually satisfies his destiny, but dies in a tragic way blinded by his lust, betrayed by Delilah, as he gets captured by his enemies the Philistines in Judges 16:19-30.

19 Then she lulled him to sleep on her knees, and called for a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. Then she began to torment him,[a] and his strength left him. 20 And she said, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” So he awoke from his sleep, and said, “I will go out as before, at other times, and shake myself free!” But he did not know that the Lord had departed from him.

21 Then the Philistines took him and put out his eyes, and brought him down to Gaza. They bound him with bronze fetters, and he became a grinder in the prison. 22 However, the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaven.

Samson Dies with the Philistines

23 Now the lords of the Philistines gathered together to offer a great sacrifice to Dagon their god, and to rejoice. And they said:

“Our god has delivered into our handsSamson our enemy!”

24 When the people saw him, they praised their god; for they said:

“Our god has delivered into our hands our enemy,The destroyer of our land,And the one who multiplied our dead.”

25 So it happened, when their hearts were merry, that they said, “Call for Samson, that he may perform for us.” So they called for Samson from the prison, and he performed for them. And they stationed him between the pillars. 26 Then Samson said to the lad who held him by the hand, “Let me feel the pillars which support the temple, so that I can lean on them.” 27 Now the temple was full of men and women. All the lords of the Philistines were there—about three thousand men and women on the roof watching while Samson performed.

28 Then Samson called to the Lord, saying, “O Lord God, remember me, I pray! Strengthen me, I pray, just this once, O God, that I may with one blow take vengeance on the Philistines for my two eyes!”29 And Samson took hold of the two middle pillars which supported the temple, and he braced himself against them, one on his right and the other on his left. 30 Then Samson said, “Let me die with the Philistines!” And he pushed with all his might, and the temple fell on the lords and all the people who were in it. So the dead that he killed at his death were more than he had killed in his life.

Honestly, I wouldn’t want to associate myself with anybody that was like Samson. He just brings about trouble that you don’t need in your life. He is so reactionary that he doesn’t operate by any means of wisdom. He is such an OMG kind of person! UGH! Anyways, I think you catch my drift. If you read Proverbs 31:3, it states to men as a warning: Do not give your strength to women, Nor your ways to that which destroys kings. If you think of Samson, he did the exact opposite of this verse and clearly had his life destroyed just because of it. In the same chapter of Proverbs 31, it also describes what a virtuous wife (not just a mere woman) is defined as:

The Words of King Lemuel’s Mother

Proverbs 31 The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him:

2 What, my son?And what, son of my womb?And what, son of my vows?3 Do not give your strength to women,Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.

4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel,It is not for kings to drink wine,Nor for princes intoxicating drink;5 Lest they drink and forget the law,And pervert the justice of all the afflicted.6 Give strong drink to him who is perishing,And wine to those who are bitter of heart.7 Let him drink and forget his poverty,And remember his misery no more.

8 Open your mouth for the speechless,In the cause of all who are appointed to die.[a]9 Open your mouth, judge righteously,And plead the cause of the poor and needy.

The Virtuous Wife

10 Who[b] can find a virtuous[c] wife?For her worth is far above rubies.11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;So he will have no lack of gain.12She does him good and not evilAll the days of her life.13 She seeks wool and flax,And willingly works with her hands.14 She is like the merchant ships,She brings her food from afar.15 She also rises while it is yet night,And provides food for her household,And a portion for her maidservants.16 She considers a field and buys it;From her profits she plants a vineyard.17 She girds herself with strength,And strengthens her arms.18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,And her lamp does not go out by night.19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,And her hand holds the spindle.20 She extends her hand to the poor,Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,For all her household is clothed with scarlet.22 She makes tapestry for herself;Her clothing is fine linen and purple.23 Her husband is known in the gates,When he sits among the elders of the land.24 She makes linen garments and sells them,And supplies sashes for the merchants.25Strength and honor are her clothing;She shall rejoice in time to come.26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,And on her tongue is the law of kindness.27 She watches over the ways of her household,And does not eat the bread of idleness.28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;Her husband also, and he praises her:29 “Many daughters have done well,But you excel them all.”30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,And let her own works praise her in the gates.

This is the type of woman Samson should have married, but he failed to recognize such a woman because he was too embroiled in satisfying his own lust. Men and Women reading this post, please assess your desires and make sure that your motivations and your intentions are pure with whatever it is that you seek to pursue. DO NOT BE LIKE SAMSON! Your life will resemble something like living in a personal type of hell if you do what he did. I cannot emphasize this enough. It is so important to assess the type of person you would like to marry as your mate. There are people who can either build you or destroy you. It is so important to assess a person’s character rather than get carried away with your own infatuation with them.

Remember this verse when you go about your everyday business with people you invite into your life:

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearanceor at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Always assess people by looking at their hearts.This is why it is important to build discernment. Discernment allows you to correctly judge what comes before your face and allows you to make wise decisions in particular with regards to who you open yourself up to. Pray to God and ask God to give you the wisdom and the ability to see people for who they truly are in your life so that you don’t get suckered into associating yourself with individuals that can cause you a lifetime of pain just like Samson experienced because he was so caught up in lust. Be wise and take your time to assess people and get to know them for who they truly are. You’ll avoid a lifetime of pain if you do. I pray that this post helps somebody today. God bless you everybody! 😀

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