Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Last Saturday Night I Went To CL's Halloween Bash

And here's what happened. Sorta. I'm not going to tell you everything about Saturday night... mostly because I hardly remember Saturday night. But I do remember the beginning. I picked up Grace from the hotel.

Boom chicka bow

She's all hot and stuff. But she wouldn't take me to her hotel room. Something about having to pay first. Whatever! Fuckin tease. So then I took her around town, tired her ass out, then it was back to my place. I was all "Grace, do you like the view?"

boom chicka bow

And she was all "Why yes I do, mind if I get naked in your living room?" AND THEN SHE DID! But it was just to change into her halloween costume. FUCKING TEASE! hehe

Whoa, then Larry showed up and he was all, "Mind if I get naked in your apartment?"

Boom chicka bow

Then he got into a MAIDS OUTFIT! It was SOOOO friggin sweet.

Except...

He wouldn't do the dishes! Fuckin tease.

I almost threw them both out the window. Except Grace distracted me by pulling out a camera and saying, "You're a tiger! You're a tiger!" I then had to pose. Because that's what you do when someone calls you a tiger while pointing a camera at you. You pose. It's just the rules people.

Anyway, pissed at the teases I told everyone it was time to get the hell out of my place and go to Cindys. There was booze there and so I figured, logically, sluts.

SLUTS!

YES!

I love sluts. They're so... slutty.

From there my memory gets a little hazy. I remember I had a beer, then another, then a shot, then J, alcoholic by all accounts, made me a drink and tried to drink trash. Seriously the boy tried to drink trash, I was like, "what the fuck are you doing J? There's trash in there!" and he was all "oh, it's s'alright".

Uh huh. Ok. dude. trash.

Then he got all pissy when I tried to remove it. Like he WANTED that trash in there! He's all (grabbing his drink) "looky here... I... lIkE that StuFF".

Whatever.

I threw his drink out. I have serious problems with watching people drink trash. He was pissed and wandered off weaving through the crowd. Which was kinda funny.

J and his brother DJ were dressed up like the Beastie Boys cops. So DJ kept trying to frisk me. I'm just lucky I got away before he came up with the line, "Is that a gun in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?". Hehe. If I was a cop I would say that to people ALL THE TIME!

I might also pistol whip them.

So I go to drink the drink J just made me and almost fall over from the smell.

"Hey T. Smell this."

T's walking by and I just SHOVE the glass up to his face. (I might be buzzing already)

"What the fuck is that?"

"J made it"

He shoves it away, "Yeah. I don't need to taste that. If J made that it's going to fuck you up".

But... you know how when you're already buzzed you'll drink just about anything? I mean, J almost just drank from a cup filled with TRASH. Ok. I'm trying to justify this and it's not working. As near as I can figure J made me a drink that was ten percent non alcoholic and 90 percent something that kicked my ass. From there I go a little blank.

Ok. I may have also had some jello shots.

That just came back to me now. But in my defense I'd NEVER had jello shots before! It was required of me!

So here is some of what I remember I may have told Grace she had, ahem, AWESOME BOOBS!

holy shit.

hmm. fuck... my memory's really gone!

I told Lar that I loved his makeup job. Oh, didn't I tell you? Boy was wearing Blue eyeshadow and lipstick on his teeth.

Damn, ok, I'm missing a large gap of time here.

Next thing I remember finding J in bushes about to pass out. Which pissed me off! because because I wanted to pass out too. Seriously the room was spinning and I was trying not to let on to that little fact. Serious circles dude.

Then, something something and now I'm inside and found CL passing out! Which totally pissed me off! Hey! I wanted to go to bed too motherfucker! So I tucked her into bed and read her a storybook. After she fell asleep I may have thought about molesting her... but her husband walked in so no can do.

DAMN HIM!!! hehe

Walked back out and realized, hmm, where the fuck is my camera? DJ helped me look for it, but also PUSHED me down! So we both fell all over the place! Then he's all, "OH LOOK AT YOU ALL DRUNK!" Which was so not fair. Fucker MADE me fall! Damn him.

Then I basically wandered around, NOT falling, because DJ made me fall, not liquor, until I ended up with a room at Cindy's.

Apparently if you wander around drunk in a school girl outfit someone finally offers to take you to bed.

Who knew? hehe

So here's a pic of me and Grace from that night. She's so hot. And I'm so sober.