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Gay marriage protest: Man seeks right to marry Macbook

“A former judge advocate and combat veteran” has filed motions in two states on behalf of “other minority sexual orientation groups” to protest gay marriage.

In court documents filed in Utah and Florida, Chris Sevier of Tennessee (right) claims he has fallen in love with his porn-filled Apple computer.

“The true question presented here is whether traditional marriage is a relationship that is ‘stand alone’ and unequal to all other forms of sexual and spiritual unions,” Sevier writes.

“Chris Sevier has moved to intervene, apparently asserting he wishes to marry his computer,” Judge Robert Hinkle ruled last month. “Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit.”