Nothing Sparks Joy In Todd Barry

Todd read Marie Kondo’s book on decluttering and organization and realized that he finds joy in absolutely nothing.

TranscriptCONAN: IT'S BEEN A LITTLE WHILE SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU.
I USED TO SEE YOU ALL THE TIME BACK IN THE NEW YORK DAYS.
BACK IN THE DAY YOU WERE IN A STUDIO APARTMENT.
IS THAT STILL YOUR SITUATION?
TODD: YEAH, WHY NOT?
I'M ONLY 53.
WHY NOT HAVE JUST THE ONE ROOM?
[LAUGHTER]
IT'S HARD BECAUSE I'M KIND OF A CLUTTER KIND OF GUY AND I ACTUALLY HIRED A PROFESSIONAL HOME ORGANIZER.
SHE WAS TOUGH, TOO.
SHE WANTED ME TO THROW STUFF OUT.
I WAS LIKE NICE TRY.
THAT'S NOT ORGANIZING.
THAT'S THROWING STUFF OUT.
HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ORGANIZING AND THROWING STUFF OUT.
I NEVER PAID SOMEONE $400 TO HELP ME THROW STUFF OUT.
I KNOW WHAT A GARBAGE CAN LOOKS LIKE BUT I SAW HOME ORGANIZER ON TV MAKE THIS SUGGESTION.
TAKE ALL THE CLOTHES IN YOUR CLOSET, LINE THEM UP IN THE SAME DIRECTION.
WHEN YOU TAKE SOMETHING OUT TO USE IT, PUT IT IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION AND AT THE END OF A YEAR, ONLY DO WHAT'S IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
ANYONE WHO CAN FOLLOW THROUGH ON THAT SYSTEM IS ALREADY THE WORLD'S MOST ORGANIZED PERSON.
IT'S NOT LIKE A GUY WHO'S KNEE-DEEP IN HAMSTER SKELETONS.
LIKE ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU WHAT I DID --
[LAUGHTER]
BUT THERE'S THAT BOOK ON HOME ORGANIZING.
IT'S LIKE THE LIFE-CHANGING ART OF TIDYING UP, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
WRITTEN BY A JAPANESE MOMENT.
HER MAIN PHILOSOPHY IS YOU TAKE EVERYTHING YOU OWN, LOOK AT IT AND SAY DOES THIS BRING ME JOY?
IN IF THE ANSWER IS NO, YOU GET RID OF IT.
BASED ON THAT, I'LL BE BURNING MY APARTMENT.
[APPLAUSE]
CONAN: YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOURSELF TOO.
YOU DON'T GIVE YOURSELF JOY.