You kids are in for a treat today. Why? From this week's New York mag, We bring to you a Video Look Book, featuring art student Chrissy Bradley. And the video is essential here, because Chrissy's inflection really completes the Paris-Euro-Cali ensemble that would otherwise look like something straight off the racks at H&M to undiscerning eyes. Chrissy lives in a "gorgeous big loft", believes that "fashion is the artifact of cultuuuuuure" and... oh, we can't do her justice.

Chrissy is an art history grad student at NYU. How can she afford a "gorgeous big loft" in Chelsea?
Her Dad owns France, California, stripes, sweaters, jeans and studied disaffection, so Chrissy's rent is like, whatever. She's kind of over it.

Chrissy says she has Jane Birkin hair. What kind of bellybutton lint does she have?
She has Janice from the Muppet Band bellybutton lint.

What, if anything, would you change about Chrissy's style?
Now that she's in the New York Gallery scene, she's going to need a look that's totally contradictory. I'm thinking "cultural redneck" and seeing her in a confederate flag sari — something more Indo-Barfkansas than Euro-Cali-foreigner.

Where'd Chrissy get that rising inflection?
From German Conceptualist Hans Haacke — dude totally lives for doing his hilarious "one time at band camp"-girl-impersonation.

Nick Authenrieth, freelance writer/part-time Lover

Chrissy is an art history grad student at NYU. How can she afford a "gorgeous big loft" in Chelsea?
Chrissy obviously has connections in show business. One needn't look any further than the sweater she borrowed from her uncle Frederick Charles "Freddy" Krueger for proof of her royal Hollywood lineage. When you're down with the "dream master," a lot of doors (specifically those of 'gorgeous big lofts') open up for you.

Chrissy says she has Jane Birkin hair. What kind of bellybutton lint does she have?
Chrissy doesn't have a bellybutton. She is a cyborg who was bio-engineered by the Russian government to be the most medicore woman the world has ever seen. Vans, huh? How nouveau ! Next time you see someone wearing a Jane Birkin wig do a wicked nose-grab on the Champs Elys es , don't worry. It's just Chrissy. However, I imagine her bellybutton lint would look something like Gene Wilder's hair if it were set on fire.

What, if anything, would you change about Chrissy's style?
Chrissy's style could use some work. I'd like to maybe see her in TRUE California meets Paris style. You know, maybe a pair of Birkenstocks and a beret. Or maybe a pair of rollerblades with just a T-shirt that says "Existentialism is life. The rest is just details."

Where'd Chrissy get that rising inflection?
Before NYU, Chrissy briefly attended The Steven Hawking School Of How To Make People Uncomfortable By Speaking. Enough said.

Gene Smilansky, extra fancy

Chrissy is an art history grad student at NYU. How can she afford a "gorgeous big loft" in Chelsea?
Chrissy was recently admitted into a trendy Chelsea co-op for the unapologetically ecumenical. She shares the group's spacious loft with an exclusive cabal of euro-cali-afro-missi-sino-sophisticat-traffic-ninjas. Chrissy is a prostitute.

Chrissy says she has Jane Birkin hair. What kind of bellybutton lint does she have?
Chrissy doesn't have bellybutton lint. She doesn't even have a bellybutton. Both were lost, tragically and prematurely, in a street theater accident too grisly for words.

What, if anything, would you change about Chrissy's style?
Less trash vampire, more Brigitte Bardot. Gawk gawk gawk.