When “royal baby” jokes started clogging the Internet last month, Las Vegas headliner Wendy Liebman wrote the best joke of them all. She said Prince George “weighed 8½ pounds, which is like $10.”

Liebman is back at The Orleans on Friday and Saturday to perform with “Top Gear” comedian Adam Ferrara.

She is a very funny and efficient comedian. Here are one-liners she told me on the phone:

“I lost 2 pounds this summer, mostly bone loss.”

“I can’t have children, according to my lease.”

“I live right near where Robert Blake shot his wife. I think it’s called Studio City, because they shoot a lot of TV shows here and Robert Blake’s wife.”

Liebman has news. She is writing a “big production musical” about comedians performing in Vegas. She isn’t ready to disclose secret details to me “or whoever else is listening from the NSA.”

Liebman has more cachet than other comedians to get a musical on Broadway. She influenced Sarah Silverman and other comics.

And she is writing the Las Vegas musical with her husband, Jeff Sherman, who produced TV shows “Boy Meets World” and “Au Pair.” (Sherman’s father and uncle scored the classic Disney musicals “Mary Poppins,” “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,” “Charlotte’s Web” and “Winnie the Pooh.”)

Liebman said she gets along great with her husband — despite her joke that her grandmother always told her, “Don’t marry for money, divorce for money.”

I asked if she has any hobbies.

“Watching the Food Network. Does that count?”

No, it doesn’t, I said. Then I quoted the great comedian Jim Jefferies, who says it is obvious that men have hobbies based on their magazines (Popular Mechanics), and it’s obvious women don’t have hobbies based on their magazines (People).

Liebman fired back.

“That’s because we’re doing your (expletive) laundry. We don’t have time for a hobby. We’re cleaning up after you. That’s why we don’t have a hobby.”

I told her my girlfriend cooks for me.

“Did you say ‘girlfriend’ or ‘maid’?” Liebman joked.

Ha, genius.

VEGAS ON TV TONIGHT

On AMC’s new reality show “Owner’s Manual” (10:30 p.m.), the hosts race dune buggies off-road with people from Vegas’ Zero One Odyssey Racing.

PARTRIDGE IN A CELL BLOCK

New York cops busted “Partridge Family” heartthrob David Cassidy, 63, after midnight Tuesday and charged him with DWI just a day after he sang in the Las Vegas Convention Center for Magic Market Week. In the 1990s, Cassidy starred in the super-terrible MGM show “EFX.”

SIGHTINGS

Talib Kweli on Monday partied at the all-nude Palomino strip club, which saw record turnout during Magic Market Week. Today’s sightings are pretty much all Magic-fashion related.

Pharrell Williams promoted his clothing line Tuesday at Caesars club Pure, where he sang his hits “Blurred Lines” and “Happy,” but he did not sing his incredibly repetitive Daft Punk smash “Get Lucky.” Instead, the DJ spun it.

Hip-hop star Nas walked an entourage into MGM’s Hakkasan restaurant on Tuesday to dine on cod with Champagne, then they partied at Hakkasan nightclub, where Nas performed and promoted a fashion line.

Rapper Tyga took friends and business associates of his clothing line to dine on filets and pastas at N9NE steakhouse at the Palms on Tuesday. On Monday, Tyga’s entourage saw Jabbawockeez’s “Prism” show at Luxor.

Juicy J rapped Tuesday in The Cosmopolitan’s Marquee nightclub for a Magic event.

@WilliamShatner: “So there is a very limited number of Shatner branded motorcycle being built. And I’m going to look towards fans to plan the route from Chicago to Los Angeles — the only caveat is the route has to go through Las Vegas.”

Doug Elfman’s column appears on Page 3A in the main section on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He also writes for Neon on Fridays. Email him at delfman@reviewjournal.com.