Why I Bought Myself a Diamond Ring — Kunnecke

The woman paying for her green smoothie flashed a discreet sparkle. Vintage, maybe 1920s. The mom behind me sported a huge solitaire. Too much for my taste, but impressive. The hipster working the cash register had three sweet, tiny stones.

Good grief, I was obsessed! Everywhere I went, I couldn’t stop checking out other women’s left hands. Emerald cuts, halos, bezels — oh, how I craved a rock on my finger!

But not because I wanted to be engaged. Oh no.

I’d been married in my early twenties and had vowed never to repeat that particular mistake again. I was as single as a human could possibly be, a happy solo mom, and hadn’t been on so much as a date in five years.

I didn’t want a fiancé — just the jewelry!

I was a little embarrassed by the intensity of this desire. It felt so decadent. And frivolous. And like maybe I wasn’t a good feminist. Surely I should invest that money instead, or sock it away in my Roth IRA, or tuck it away for a rainy day. If I wanted to spend it just for joy, I should do something virtuous, like a yoga retreat, or at least something educational, like a trip to Europe.

Why did I need a societally approved status symbol to prove my own worth?

I found myself thinking a lot about rings, and their potent symbolism. They can signify royalty, fidelity, and loyalty. They can mean love or bondage. They can mean wealth or slavery. I was conflicted about rings.

I decided to buy a ring as a symbol of the truth that I don’t need to wait around for a lover to bring me what I want. I can create that for myself. It was hugely empowering to buy myself a beautiful vintage sparkler for my own left ring finger.

It might seem silly or materialistic to some people, but to me it is an ever-present reminder to rethink my own value. I don’t have to listen to the many crummy, culturally ingrained messages to women about what it means to wear, or not wear, a sparkly bit of the earth on that particular part of the body. I can reject the misogynistic notion that a woman is a prize to be won or a piece of property to be purchased.

I discovered a part of me had been waiting for permission not just to wear a ring, but to do all kinds of things I wanted. The ring now reminds me every day that I am free to create whatever I want in my own life, on my own terms.

It quietly flashes there on my finger, a potent symbol of my own ability to create a life that is beautiful — even gorgeous — all on my own.

It has become a talisman of sorts, and I believe it’s one of the best investments I’ve ever made.

A talisman doesn’t have to be a ring, of course. It can be any piece of jewelry, or a tattoo, or a piece of clothing — anything that tangibly reminds you of a powerful truth. My ring helped me make visible my own power and freedom. That’s priceless.

Anna Kunnecke helps soulful, high-achieving women take back their power in their lives, relationships, and careers so they can be bigger and braver than they ever thought they'd need to be. Her clients are bighearted and successful but they secretly yearn for more magic, more peace, and more grit. Find out which five key phrases you can incorporate into your language right now to help you be more powerful, more gracious, AND get the respect you deserve — your free cheat sheet is HERE.