A question that I get asked a lot in the swinging lifestyle is about body types and beauty. Some examples:

“I’m not thin or beautiful will anyone be attracted to me?”

“I’m not a size 2 or a size 10; no one will want a fat girl.”

“What if my penis isn’t big enough?”

“I don’t look like a model”

Let me start by saying Pshhhha to all of these. If there is one thing I’ve learned after the past 5 years swinging it’s that there is someone or MANY some ones for everyone. Don’t let poor body image ruin your good time.

I am a larger girl and was once pretty nervous about getting naked in front of anyone but Mr. Scribbens. As a matter of fact our first couple, well they were downright hotties! Talk about nerves! I thought “why would he want me when he has a wife like that?” What I found out was it’s all about variety. That’s why we swing in the first place isn’t it? To experience something new and different than what we are used to? Now mind you NOT everyone is going to be compatible but I’ll save that speech for another blog.

I’ve realized that the majority of people out there swinging are looking past a few stretch marks and a fatter ass. They look at the whole package. Things like being showered and well kempt are much more important. Do you take pride in your appearance? Do you have fresh breath and a sense of humor? Can you hold a conversation? If so I’d say you have a hell of a good chance at finding swinging partners.

But lets go back to the worried about weight issue ladies. I’ve discovered a little secret. Most men don’t care and in fact most of them like a woman with a little more meat on her bones and the natural boobs that go with them, just sayin’. I can honestly tell you that my weight has not prevented me from having a good time and meeting plenty of lovers both female and male. So in the hopes that this eases the fears of some of you ladies out there I will end this blog with a quote from one of my favorite singers… Prince.

“…Honey them hips is gone
That’s alright, I clock ’em that way
Remind me of something James used to say…

“I like ’em fat”
“I like ’em proud”
“Ya gotta have a mother for me”
Now move your big ass ’round this way
So I can work on that zipper, baby
Tonight you’re a star
And I’m the big dipper… “

Recently I have taken a new lover. Which is good because I lost a lover not long ago because he reunited with his ex… blah blah blah (see previous posts from Mr. Scribbens). Now normally Mr. Scribbens must meet and approve of all potential lovers before any play time is allowed. Also, I made it a rule a few years back NEVER to get involved with anyone at work. So far I’m breaking two rules. Mr. Scribbens has been kind enough to let these two things slide… and can I just say THANK YOU MR. SCRIBBENS!

The truth is I’ve been eying Mr. X for the past year. We would occasionally pass in the break area or casually say hello from time to time but nothing serious. It wasn’t until recently went out on a break that he and I both were talking to a mutual contact and we realized we had a hobby in common, photography.

Well that’s when I moved in for the kill. Every time I saw him I’d strike up the conversation and ask when we were going to go out and take pictures. After a week, he gave me his card. Cell Number included… Jackpot! I texted and he texted back. Then he called me. I flirted a bit and dropped hints here and there all the while bringing up my love of photography. I gave him my email address and waited. He emailed that night expressing a curiosity if was interested in more than just a photography buddy. (DUH YA THINK?) I suggested we meet and see how things played out. I of course had to run it by the Mr. to get the green light.

I had the green light to proceed with caution. See how Mr. X would respond and respect my marriage. The night we met it was clear we would get along well and I decided to quit worrying and just have some fun! Lucky for me he has proven to be very private and trustworthy. We both have jobs we like and don’t want to loose them. I’m not going to stalk him like the single girls do. He can have his freedom and fun with me, the best of both worlds. It’s a win-win situation for us both!

He’s been nothing short of a gentleman. He knows my marriage situation and is cool with it. He’s no pressure. But the biggest thing for me is that he treats me with the same kindness he would if he were dating a single woman. He opens doors, orders sushi, hell he even lit candles and put on mood music and loaned me his robe. He knows that he is an escape from the day to day for me. It’s these things that make a great playmate. To me, well worth bending some rules.