On the small European island of Kuchen sits Rosenstolz Academy, a boarding school for young noblemen where certain students are singled out as the elite Strahl candidates. Currently, the prime choices are Orpherus and Ludwig, two powerful young men with very different ideals. However, as battling political factions threaten to tear apart their school and the country, Orpherus and Ludwig must set aside their differences and work together with a little help from their friends to save what is dear to each of them.

The best word to describe Meine Liebe is “baroque.” Everything is very dark and gloomy, with a muted color palette of mostly browns, melodramatic music, and a plot that is overdramatic in the worst way. It’s the opposite of most dating sim anime, except for the veritable harem of beautiful boys. And despite its very opposite approach, it manages to be just as dull as its male-oriented counterpart.

On the surface, everything is gorgeous, as well it should be, since Kaori Yuki, best known stateside for Angel Sanctuary, designed the characters. The Academy is amply populated with bishounen of every variety for fangirls to drool over, and a student body that allows girls to pick and choose their favorite “type.” It’s a bit jarring when some of the characters so strongly resemble others in Kaori’s previous works, but her artwork is always a welcome treat for the eyes. The animation is quite nice as well, but it’s rarely displayed, since the characters spend so much time sitting and talking about what should be done, rather than actually doing.

With the best artwork in the business, it makes sense that the studio would also get the best vocals, and with a cast including such masters as Seki Tomokazu and Koyasu Takehito, they certainly didn’t settle for anything less. Too bad the characters are so flat and dull that even top vocal talent can’t imbue them with greater depth. The creators were probably looking to write stoic yet multilayered characters, considering the copious amount of time spent on dialogue and backstory. Instead, they came out with pokerfaced pretty boys with soap opera pasts.

Watching Meine Liebe is an experience akin to opening a beautifully wrapped gift and finding a large, smelly turd. It has exactly one thing going for it: pretty boys. Those that value such things, regardless of plot and character, might enjoy it. For those that put more weight on more substantial aspects, or simply don’t care for bishounen, I recommend you overlook this one.