i know i should be looking for a job right now. that's constantly in the back of my mind, yet instead of working on my portfolio/looking for job/fixing my resume, i spend all my time seeking new places to go or new things to do.

it's part laziness, i know. there was a period when i was motivated to find new work
and was seriously looking for IA or UI design jobs. but now i've lost the motivation
and instead want to dedicate my time on having fun and trying new things.

i don't think it's just me. i know it's very difficult getting a job right now
because of all the competition but it doesn't seem that a lot of
people that i know who have been laid off are in a rush to find other jobs.
i mean, they do need a regular source of income but unemployment checks help and it
seems okay for now to live off of savings (if you have one) and unemployment.

i used to worry about finding another job and W had to constantly
reassure me that i'll find one even better than the one i had before and
remind me that i've done well so far and will continue to do so and that it
was just a matter of time before i found a dope job that paid big bucks.
(big bucks and little work. ah, dream job)

i have doubts as to whether i can find another job like the one i had before.
but then, i don't even know if i want one like the one before.
maybe i don't want to work for an internet company. and maybe i should consider other
jobs that are less financially rewarding
but more fulfilling? *but dammit, what i really want is a financially rewarding job that
is fulfilling!*

i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that we're are taking our time figuring
out what to do with our lives. a designer i know wants to make goat cheese. another designer i know might leave for germany. one IA i know was considering becoming a park ranger and an interface developer friend of mine is working on drawing/painting, hoping to publish a comic book.

as for my near future plans, i'm going camping with C at manresa state beach tomorrow,
and then off to mt. shasta with my family for the memorial day weekend. and then i'll be taking a ceramics class starting june 5th and C and i am going to look into camping in baja. oh and i'll definitely send that resume to ______. by today! i wouldn't mind working there.

thinking about:auditioning to be a "performance artist" at an upscale club in s.f. D is goig to call
tomorrow to find out exactly what this job calls for. i'd be down to do something like this as long as it's not degrading. i might have to be on stilts (but that's not what i meant by degrading).