After all this time together, his raging, evil, twisted, latent monster surfaced and left me in total shock! Talking about it to anyone will only make my nightmare worse if he finds out, so I am venting here, anonymously. I have to have somewhere to let it out. I now know he is a narcissist, but what else? bipolar? schizoid? psychotic? schizophrenic? some other mental disorder? I hope someone can help me answer this and find a way to get me out of here!.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

A Dark Dinner for a Bully

I am having a hard time restraining from laughing at T L Ogre in the late evenings, right now. If it weren't so darned funny, it would be infuriating, but laughing is less stressful, for me anyway.

What is so stinking funny you want to know? Night, after night, after night, he has been cooking well after dark for the past week! Tonight it was getting really late when he finished cooking his dinner, which held up feeding two of the dogs, which held up my dinner.

So, why was he so extra late cooking his dinner tonight? He couldn't find the lid to the pot he was using to cook in! I had just walked into the kitchen of the old house to wash my little cooking pot and curiously saw him frantically searching through the "pile." He stopped, looked up and asked, "Have you seen the lid yet to that stainless steel pot?" Of course I had to ask which stainless steel pot because we have a lot of stainless steel pots. He sarcastically, and accusingly, clarified that it was the same pot that he couldn't find the lid to the other day. He absolutely insists that I must know where that lid is and I am just not telling him. Geez!! That was his cooking pot from before we got together, I have never used it. I have seen it sitting on the floor at the base of "the pile" (a mountain of kitchen stuff, trash, and rodent nests in the center of his old kitchen that he works from) but I had never used it. He threw a pretty good fit over not finding the lid to the pot, repeatedly insinuating that I must be hiding it, then bitterly and angrily finished up with, "Well, if I don't have it, it will take a whole lot longer for this to cook! (I don't know what 'this' was.)

I tried to find a substitute lid, but he said none of them fit. I have a multi-size lid, setting out in plain site, but that wouldn't do, either. Yes, it would have. I haven't found a pot, yet, that it didn't work on.

"T L Ogre, why weren't you prepared? Why didn't you plan ahead better? Why didn't you have everything you needed all laid out and ready ahead of time? It's dark now, mister! You're going to be cooking past your bedtime! You might have to cut your nightly, long, hot bath a little short so you don't lose sleep. Come on, now, can't you get your dinner done on time?!"

That's what I wanted to say to him, a throw of his own words back at him. I didn't dare, though. He would have instantly tossed me out in the road. He had already threatened to once, today, because, once again, I didn't answer his question exactly right, exactly the way he wanted it answered. Bullying, he gets such a power trip off of it!