Category: Lifestlye

This year I can easily say I went through the most changes compared to any other year so far.

[Quick reminder: I moved to Israel alone at the end of 2014 and have lived here since]

In January I started taking my blog a little more seriously, after stopping for a year or two because blogging from the boarding school was almost impossible & I was extremely restricted & could never land any opportunities being there.

In April I wrote my final exams & pushed for the last few (awful) months of 12th grade. In the middle of that, me & my best friend Eden Sisson went on a super spontaneous 3 day trip to Eilat (our vlog is on my YouTube channel) & it was for sure the most unpredictable but amazing trips I’ve taken.

prom (pink) & graduation (black)

I’m really proud of myself for getting through those 3 years in boarding school, it wasn’t easy.. and anyone who experienced it with me can agree. I met my best friends for life there, I could never have it any other way.. so like I always say, everything happens for a reason.

This is where everything changed.

“You never know what you have until it’s gone” is the realest statement & I’m pretty sure everyone has had their moment where this applied to them.

“You talk too much, love too much, feel too much. And I don’t know what to do with your muchness.”

“Just love me,” she whispered. “Ï’ll always be too much. I know I talk too much but most of the times I’m talking about you. I know I love too much but that’s the only way I know how to love. I also know I feel too much but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because in my muchness is my soul and when I love, I love with all my soul. So love me with everything you have. Love me and my muchness even if it’s too much for you.”

This is an excerpt from a book I’m currently reading, A Book I’ll Never Write by Devon Eaton. I always remind myself to start reading again like I used to, & this book was a perfect choice because I can only read something that captivates me & freezes time for a while.

A Book I’ll Never Write is a combination of intense poetry written over a the years by someone who was clearly deeply & unconditionally in love. I feel that this book is something everyone should take time to read, it restores a little faith in our generation of technology.

I love this excerpt specifically because I strongly believe that indulging in your feelings & expressing every single one is what ultimately makes each one of us unique & different. Personally I love it when I am deep in my feelings, whether its love or anger or sadness because sometimes its the only thing that reminds me that I’m human & alive. Sometimes we get so lost in work or studying that we forget how to feel, & its upsetting because the ability to feel is what separates humans from the other beings.

Have you ever been so present in the moment that you feel like you’ve stopped at the peak of a roller coaster about to plunge of the edge, but you’re halted there for a split second?

Euphoria, maybe.

It’s something I live for. I cannot go more than a week or two without feeling lost & losing my sense of reality, because of the current situation I’m in. Being in a boarding school is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, but it also restricts me to such an extent that I forget who I am & often find myself feeling numb & angry because I tend to distance myself from the certain things that make me who I am.

Reminding you to stay true to yourself & embrace every moment in which you lose yourself in your feelings, & appreciate that you.re lucky enough to experience such moments.

Be someone who feels too much or loves too much, the world needs more people like that.

Thank you for reading, & please keep on doing so as I have a LOT to say.

One reason could be that in today’s day & age the word beauty simply means ‘perfection’.

This idea of perfection is perceived by unrealistic expectations of unhealthy weights, photo shopped bodies, fame, money & luxurious life styles. Perfection doesn’t exist. It’s not real. What looks so ‘perfect’ on the outside is almost always flawed on the inside. These days, nothing is what it seems.

In my opinion, a majority of the people that make up today’s society assume that because someone does not look like a person is “supposed” to, does not have legs that never end or perfect skin, then they are considered ugly, or there is no need to pay them any attention. There is so much more to a person than what they show. There is a personality, character, love, and beauty. But they will never be given a chance by society because they don’t “fit” society’s idea of normal.

A camera cannot capture the authentic beauty that lies deep within someone’s personality.

It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Two people who are utterly & unconditionally in love with one another. It all looks so easy. Finding that perfect someone, being in a relationship & having that someone to hold you when you cry, kiss when you feel like it or laugh with until your stomach hurts. You look at other people’s relationships and think, they look so happy together, & it seems like nothing would ever come between them.

However, what seems so perfect on the outside is hardly ever as perfect & beautiful on the inside.

When you take the time to get to know someone, really well, you start to see that it isn’t all about their appearance, flowers or chocolates on your 1 month anniversary. It becomes about how you compromise to make each other happy, the small sacrifices you make, going the extra length to show someone you really care, or surprising them at the most unexpected times just to make them smile.

Months pass, even a year or two, and you fall deeper & deeper in love. You know more about that person than you do about anyone else. You know how to make them smile, you know their deepest secret & their most embarrassing story. Trust grows. Love deepens. It all feels like a dream.

Lets go back in time a little. The Opal used to be a symbol of hope to the Ancient Romans, and it is now associated with purity, hope, innocence & faith. The Tourmaline, being a more recent discovery, doesn’t have an interesting background, myths or legends.. but it is known as the ‘Peace Stone’, believing to eliminate anger, fear & jealousy. It is also believed to enhance the creativity of whoever wears it.

I haven’t always been so interested in whose birthday means what, and who gets which stone, but since I dived a little deeper, I discovered that birth stones, birth flowers and so on actually tell a lot about someone’s personality or character. It also goes way back to ancient times and to the ways that people lived their lives based on these gemstones and what they say about a person.

So the main reason I chose to represent myself with the names of October’s birthstones, is because I can relate to the characteristics of the stones and I can see how they are linked to my personality and the way I was brought up. I was always an innocent child, and I always stayed faithful to what I believed in, and the people that loved me. I can also say that I am a strong believer in keeping the peace between the people that are important to me and the people that surround me. These are some examples of similarities I’ve found in myself and with my gemstones.

So take a few minutes of your time to do some research on the gemstones associated with your birth month, and you might just find out things that you never knew about your personality.

Aaaand now you know the meaning behind the strange name of my blog.

Thank you so much for reading, and please keep on doing so as I have a LOT to say.