Also:

When I was a kid we had an E.T. (as in E.T.: The Extraterrestrial) plush figure — yes, I still cry whenever I see that movie. E.T., though sweet and charming in the film, is not exactly cuddly, and that scene where he dies in the lab? Terrifying! My kid sister was justifiably scared of the stuffed animal (I think my dad bought it on a trip to the Universal Studios theme park), and rather than throw the toy away, my parents relegated it to an inaccessible top shelf in the closet … from which E.T. peered at us with unblinking glass eyes as my sister and I tried to fall asleep in our shared bedroom. Twenty-five years later, E.T. still haunts my sister — she won’t watch the movie.

What my sister and I needed was this ninja stuffed-animal assassin cat, who can wipe out a target in the blink of an eye. Don’t believe us? Just check out this video — now you see the stuffed raccoon, and now you don’t! Assassin cat operates swiftly and efficiently, taking down the stuffed animal before it can even react.

Got a terrifying stuffed animal you need taken care of? It’s time to call up this kitty.