Secret Government Robots

The Comics

Secret Government Robots is an ongoing webcomic in a comic-book format that started in November 2010. Written by Patrick D Ryall, there are many art styles employed to tell the story: the main one is drawn by PDR, the pixellated one is drawn by Marq, and there’s a handful that are experiments in MS Paint. The comic currently updates sporadically, when time can be found, but will be entering its big wrap-up phase soon.

Jump to a story:

You can also read about the origins of the strip during its first hundred or so pages by browsing through the SecGov tag. It’s got some interesting tidbits, but it’s also in reverse chronological order. If you’re not familiar with it yet, start at the beginning!

The Story

Secret Government Robots is a story about the robots who work for the Secret Government (AKA SecGov). Here’s what you need to know: The Secret Government is a shadowy organization based out of SecGov City, hidden in a vast North American forest, that seeks to control society from behind the scenes. SecGov is not the only Secret Faction bent on world domination but vie for control against the likes of the zealous Cult of the Hypercolony, the bizarre Alliance of Unsettling Oddities, the corrupt Murderboss Johnson Crew, the ruthless Children of Yeren Heng, the ancient powerful Beekeepers, and others. Though SecGov, financed by the mega-conglomorate Technolocorp, has discovered alien technology that has allowed them to create a populace of robots to hold their own, the Factions remain in a state of perpetual conflict. Recently however, SecGov has discovered Transuniversal Space, a realm beyond reality which may give them the advantages they need to finally rule the world.

The Characters

There are a lot of robots in the Secret Government. Here are some you may want to know:

Ezekiel Purple = As a nervous young SecGov Army cadet, Zeke was sent on a mission to Transuniversal Space. There a powerful entity tried to feast on Zeke’s mind, but died in the process. As a result Zeke seems to be manifesting the creature’s vast array of eerie powers (such as flying, teleportation, and powerful stabby tendrils) and has also apparently developed a craving for devouring the minds of his enemies. Naturally, everyone is creeped out by this, but they can’t deny that he’s effective in battle. Zeke has single-handedly helped the SecGov Army win several wars and show no sign of stopping.

Gladys Blue = Another SecGov Army cadet who was sent to Transuniversal Space, all Gladys got was a new arm after the other was destroyed. A self-described coward, Gladys nonetheless shows natural talent for fighting and a strong distrust of SecGov. Currently employed as a bodyguard for Senator Brown—a generally easy job—Gladys has secretly been meeting with Jason Effing Dante, one of the world’s most talented assassins and a sworn enemy of the Secret Government. Dante knows truths that SecGov won’t tell its robots, but won’t reveal them unless Gladys helps him in bringing SecGov down. Now the cowardly warrior has to choose between the possibility of being caught and killed for treason, or having to go through with a plan to kill the Secret President.

Mr. Secret Vice-President = The Secret President of SecGov is kept hidden from view at all time. As such, the Secret Vice-President is in charge of most of the day-to-day business in SecGov City. While he passes as much of that burden off to the Secret Prime Minister and the Secret Governor General as he possibly can, Mr. Secret Vice President still, occasionally has to actually make a decision or do some diplomacy. If it weren’t for his assistant Ephraim Green, the excitable Secret VP would likely have had a breakdown long ago. He’s among the happiest about the recent boost to the SecGov Army’s ability because it allows SecGov to conquer the other Factions, which is easier than sustaining relations.

The Department Heads = The Secret Government is split up into various departments, the heads of which are pretty important. Here’s some who have been significant:

Percival Red: Head of the War Department, Percy runs the SecGov Army. He’s an old robot who has lived through a lot of wars and grows more tired every day, but does his duty well.

Humphrey Green: Head of the Finance Department, Humphrey is in charge of making sure nobody in SecGov City is wasting precious resources. As a reward for doing such hard work, Humphrey makes big money.

Cyril Blue: Head of the Health Department, Cyril is a long-suffering ball of impotent rage who tries so hard to make do with a meager budget and only gets anger and depression to show for it.

Eleanor Grey: Head of the Defense Department, Eleanor is in charge of detecting and preventing threats to SecGov City. Eleanor does everything with an air of secrecy.