"I resent my husband." "We are growing apart." This is where you will find explanations and strategies for happiness. Relationships can be tough but there are solutions. Ann Landers is gone, but now you have Dr. Roland Trujillo.

happy couple

Pages

What Causes Depression? A Spiritual Perspective

Hello, I am a spiritual care giver. I like what Dr Peter Breggin had to say:

Despite all the emphasis of giving drugs
to depressed people, many recover from depression with time on their
own, while others receive help from a variety of sources, including
therapy, family, and religion. Depression is a loss of hope. . . . The
restoration of hope is key to overcoming depression and hope can come
from many sources. The alternative to antidepressants is all of life:
romantic love, family, friends, community, nature, and religion all help
people overcome depression. Scientific studies show that everything
from a new pet to an exercise program, as well as the passage of time,
can relieve depression." Dr. Peter BregginBefore my essay about depression from a spiritual caregiver's perspective, I want to share a couple of interesting articles I just read on the topic of chemical imbalance. I find them to be a breath of fresh air and educational too. Let's begin with a short video series that is easy to watch and understand

"Beyond Meds and anyone who’s actually paid attention to the science
for the last many years has known that the serotonin myth about
depression and how antidepressants work has no evidence to back it up
whatsoever. So when it all came out in an NPR interview I pretty much
just yawned. Yes, I’m tired and I’ve been steeped in some of this stuff
for far too long.
So, I am now realizing that for the vast majority of folks this is
shocking news. So…I will do a little round-up here for some of my
readers who may not be so familiar with this issue."

"(NaturalNews) Contemporary scientific culture has fed us the mantra that
depression is the result of a chemical imbalance for so long now that
the premise is rarely questioned by the general public."

Hope you enjoy the above free resources. Now here is my essay. It is just my opinion, but I am pleased to say that all I have learned in 23 years of research and counseling has only reinforced what I knew in my heart long ago.

We all need something to look forward to. In this respect, you can already see how spirituality is involved. Hope is a derivative of faith, hope is a form and result of of faith. We also need something to identify with - something (someone actually) who we can trust, who will be there, and who loves us. Many women cast their lot with a man, who they become entangled with, and when he fails to be the knight in shining armor, she begins to resent him. And since resentment is the negation of love (you cannot love and resent at the same time), she feels unloved. We all potentially have a ground from which we can live and move and have our being. This ground is actually the Creator, and if we find Him we can then remain in touch with Him and experience his grace and feel in His good graces by doing one very simple thing: not resenting others. Love comes from within. If it is in a good man, it is not his but comes through him. If it is in you, it is not a feeling but a quiet peace and feeling like something good is about to happen.

If it is in a woman, it comes from within in one of two ways. If she happens to have a good father or happens to be married to a really good man, a man she can respect and in whom she sees something good, a man who is patient, kind and courageous and who loves her for herself--she can feel very secure. Loving the good in the man is the same as loving God, since the good in the man that she respects and loves is not from him but coming through him through his love of God and principle.But many women do not have a father or husband like the one I just described. Most likely he is a bit weak, woman oriented, and more like a big kid than a fatherly tower of strength. But let me just say that she can also find the love of God from within, all by herself, coming from her innermost ground of being, if and this is the big if--she does not resent her husband. Or for that matter, if she does not resent her father, husband, or all men. Resentment cuts you off from God's love. You are not in His good graces or pleasing to Him when you resent other people. Resentment also includes judgment--condemning another, usually secretly, with a pre-formed negative disapproval of them. How easy it is to judge men. How it puffs a woman up in pride and makes her contemptuous of the weak and wrong men she has known. It makes her feel superior. But it also separates her from love from within.Now do you see the resentment/judgment and depression connection. The sense of inner peace and the sense that something good is about to happen, and the sense of being loved--these are all intertwined.

Here is a spiritual secret. Love is in everything God does. Love and his eternal consistency and providence are two sides of the same coin. Thus when we know (quietly sense, without knowing how we know, but we just know) that He is there and that He cares, we sense both love and hope.We humans are supposed to be creatures of love. Look at little children and you will see that they are full of love. But when we grow up, we become resentful, judgment, and hardened. These effectively cut you off from love. And without God's love, no wonder you feel empty. No wonder you feel depressed.But here is another secret. God's love is always there. His forgiveness is always there. His peace is always there.

You are there sitting in your mental basement among negative memories and unhappy thoughts. Down there in the basement, you do not feel the warmth and see the beauty of the sunlight. But it is still there. Down in your mental basement you do not sense God's love. So, if you feel empty, depressed, and without hope, just who is it that you are resenting?Your husband, your wife, your parent, yourself? or perhaps God?Yes, do not be alarmed. Most of us in our egotistical way of looking at things resent God. So don't be alarmed if you make this discovery. Just know that He does not hate you back. His love, His peace and a restoration of hope await you - just on the other side of letting go of resentment and grudges toward others. The other issue that makes it hard for people is a sense of despair (loss of hope) when the help they have been getting to relieve mental and emotional symptoms has not only not worked but has led to all manner of other symptoms, fear of continuing, fear of discontinuing, and a sense of loss of control. Loss of a sense of self sovereignty, being in the hands of others, leads to dependency, dread and despair of ever getting out of the maze and the mental fog, or free of the symptoms.When everything you have tried has betrayed you--boyfriends, drugs, organized religion, career, various brands of spirituality, education, even food. When you discover that all your lovers are betrayers, this can be a very positive discovery. You are ready to let go and let God. You have made the profound realization that there is no real love out there. A temporary helping hand, yes. A little palliative care, yes. A hug and a free meal, yes. But little more.

The answer is in realization. When your realize wordlessly the truth about the love and help you have been getting, you can also make an even more profound and fundamental realization - something is showing you the truth that there is no love out there.

In fact it is God's wordless Truth which shines a light and in this light you soul perceives and realizes the truth. The bigger Truth, God's Light of Truth, is shining a light on something for you to see. In this Light you realize the lesser negative truth in the greater Light. So now you can breathe a sigh of relief. See the truth. Don't resent it. And don't resent others anymore. Sure, they failed to love you properly. Sure, they may have betrayed you and hurt you. But they didn't know any better. They are lost too. Someone did it to them. But if you receive what I have just written with joy, then you are blessed. A whole world of joy and possibilities is waiting to unfold just beyond letting go of resentment. The other thing that might trip you up is your current state of being lost between your ears and lost in emotions. A complementary meditation, such as we offer here, may assist you in getting disentangled from negative thoughts and emotions. Read more

Hello everyone. These are two books that I think you should have on your shelf (or on your computer, Android or Kindle).

The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage is my most popular book and it covers the basic important stuff like no other book.

Putting the Forever Back in Love is a follow up to The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage.

Putting the Forever Back in Love
has advanced strategies. If you have been married for more than 10
years and your marriage is in trouble, this is the book you will want to
read.

If you have kids and want to have some advanced insights and strategies for parenting, then Putting the Forever Back in Love is definitely going to be on your shipping list.

Now here is the good part!

Remember
that I have a long standing offer. You can get any one of my ebooks
sent to you by email as a token of my appreciation when you make a
donation of any amount.

Many people don't know that I
am a volunteer. I buy the airtime and internet time in order to be there
to help people. Soooooo, any donation (yes, even a small donation like
$2 is really appreciated by me).

Why do couples argue?
How can we put the sparkle back in our marriage?
How can we communicate better?

What is the difference between courtship and casual dating?
My wife asked me to leave.
Why are men the way we are?
What does my wife want?
Can we reconcile?
My wife cheated on me – now what?

Based
on over 20 years of counseling couples and answering questions on the
radio. Roland tackles the tough questions with humor, discernment, and
refreshing honesty. From the Garden of Eden to the 21st century, he’s
got relationships covered.

"Roland, thank you so much for your book. When I
heard that you are a pastor, I hesitated to order it because I'm not
into religion. But because I wanted to learn more about why I can't
stop resenting my husband so much, I went ahead and got the book. I'm so
glad that I did. The advice is very practical, and the book is filled
with some beautiful spirituality too. I spent over a thousand dollars to
register and fly to an out of town seminar I could have saved the
thousand and got your book instead." Suzy - San Bernardino

Putting the Forever Back in Love - Advanced Concepts in Relationship Building

This book contains advanced concepts for coping with and
resolving difficult relationship issues.

If you liked The Myths and Mysteries of Marriage you will love this book.

Been married for many years and have some issues? This is the book for you.

Based in 24 years of research
and counseling, Dr. Trujillo presents new insights and strategies for
healing relationships and resolving stress and unhappiness. Partners,
parents, couples considering marriage, and adult children of
dysfunctional families will find both practical and spiritual principles
to help them move forward to happiness.

You'll benefit from Dr. Roland's 25 years of experience. Plus his books are a good read.

You'll also be saving up to 80% off retail price.

When
you send a donation to help Roland, you are actually paying forward to
help others. Roland volunteers his time to help others and he frequently
gives materials away free to people who can't afford anything.

New

Relationships and more

Preview and purchase to download to your computer or mobile device and start reading now

Buy at Amazon in paperback or Kindle

Free Couples Compatibility Questionnaire

Take it today! Then read the Myths and Mysteries of Marriage

.

Read this advisory

Online counseling is not for you if you are under 18, if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, if this is an emergency, if you are having psychotic symptoms, if you are presently under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or if there is domestic violence or abuse. Before contacting us, Read this important information first about getting immediate help

“In a word, live together in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship, least of all a marriage, can survive. Don’t insist on your rights, don’t blame each other, don’t judge or condemn each other, don’t find fault with each other, but accept each other as you are, and forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts…”― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison

Online counseling is not for you if you are under 18, if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, if this is an emergency, if you are having psychotic symptoms, if you are presently under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or if there is domestic violence or abuse. Before contacting us, Read this important information first about getting immediate help

If you are experiencing bullying, child abuse, or domestic violence or abuse, you should seek help immediately from your local social service agency, mental health professionals, law enforcement, or child protective services. You are not alone. People are standing by to help you. Get help right away where you are. Read more

For a donation of any amount receive an eBook as a token of our appreciation