Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Miss Varsha speaking in Bad European

Good lord.

Now I'm convinced that at a certain point of time someone secretly stole the script of Van Helsing and put it through a manic Windows (TM) macro which replaced all the Cs with Ks, all the Ws with Vs, the Vs with Fs, and all plot points with ridiculous overplayed campy trash. No ? Must be my imagination then.

I have never seen such an atrocious display of bad acting, bad ideas and bad diction in one place since the last time I saw President Dubbya on the television. I mean seriously people this movie is bad. It couldn't possibly have been any worse. Or rather It Kouldn't Possibly Haff Been Any Vorse. Well it could, if they had delected the brief oh so brief glance of nekkid Hugh Jackman.

And now for something completely different.

I was shopping at The Wedge (TM) yesterday, and decided to get some eco-friendly detergent rather than the generic dolphin baby killing stuff from the supermarket. Imagine my surprise when rather than a portly lesbian doling out foul smelling Lye from a vast cauldron, I was directed towards a very futuristic device, in which you place an empty receptacle of the kind of product you are interested in, and then all sorts of pipes and extruders examine said receptacle, determine what product you want and proceed to fill it in. And with many futuristic bells and whistles thrown in. You all just got to try it.

Going back to our theme of bad european, memo to those odious city planners who have named the new shopping block next to The Wedge Agora Market. As even a dimwitted three year old mediterranean child might inform you, Agora means market, and hence you get a wonderful place called Market Market. I suppose folks can get together, drive there on the Street Street in their Car Car and order some Bread Bread which they can buy with their Money Money.