Re: The Bad Mood Thread

They're perfect. Who knew the barrios of Seattle could pop out tamales as good as the ones in East Los. I had a cheese and jalapeno one with huervos rancheros this morning. I have to walk away and eat again. My brother in law just pulled a brisket out of the smoker.

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

Tom & John: thanks. My nana's actually out of the woods, for now at least. They were wrong about the gall stones being gangrenous; what the X-rays picked up was an abscess. She'd been on blood thinners so they gave her some plasma all day Sunday and scheduled her for surgery yesterday. She made it through okay but I'm not sure when she'll be returning home at this point.

Originally Posted by Yablonowitz

If you're diagnosed as bi-polar, I don't think you should ever NOT be on medication. It's like having high blood pressure and not taking any pills for it. Don't do that. Just an opinion from someone with an aunt who had bipolar.

That's what my psychologist, psychiatrist, case worker, and now my girlfriend have all said. The thing is, there have been several behaviors of mine that have improved since I've gotten off medication that were prominent problems when I was taking something. For instance, I don't self-medicate with drugs or alcohol like I did for a few years. Part of that is also a financial consideration (scoring coke or ecstasy or drinking 2-3 bottles of vodka every week gets expensive) but if I was really in the clutches of substance addiction, I wouldn't care about the financial cost. And actually there were periods when I'd drink or do drugs to counteract the sort of emotional numbness that the medication gave me. Secondly, I started self-mutilating around '95 or '96 and now haven't done so since December '06. The worst scars I gave myself were during periods when I was on medication, and so to not have that cross my mind anymore, at a time when I'm not on meds, is something I'm fairly happy about.
This isn't to say that I wouldn't benefit from being on Abilify or something along those lines, just that medications aren't the end-all solution for someone with bipolar disorder and I feel I've been successful in my time off medication demonstrating that my life can actually flourish without it.

Originally Posted by Larry Farnsworth

"I assume you guys aren't familiar with all of the shit on this lineup but if you listened to shit radio stations you would be."

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

Originally Posted by Somewhat Damaged

Tom & John: thanks. My nana's actually out of the woods, for now at least. They were wrong about the gall stones being gangrenous; what the X-rays picked up was an abscess. She'd been on blood thinners so they gave her some plasma all day Sunday and scheduled her for surgery yesterday. She made it through okay but I'm not sure when she'll be returning home at this point.

That's what my psychologist, psychiatrist, case worker, and now my girlfriend have all said. The thing is, there have been several behaviors of mine that have improved since I've gotten off medication that were prominent problems when I was taking something. For instance, I don't self-medicate with drugs or alcohol like I did for a few years. Part of that is also a financial consideration (scoring coke or ecstasy or drinking 2-3 bottles of vodka every week gets expensive) but if I was really in the clutches of substance addiction, I wouldn't care about the financial cost. And actually there were periods when I'd drink or do drugs to counteract the sort of emotional numbness that the medication gave me. Secondly, I started self-mutilating around '95 or '96 and now haven't done so since December '06. The worst scars I gave myself were during periods when I was on medication, and so to not have that cross my mind anymore, at a time when I'm not on meds, is something I'm fairly happy about.
This isn't to say that I wouldn't benefit from being on Abilify or something along those lines, just that medications aren't the end-all solution for someone with bipolar disorder and I feel I've been successful in my time off medication demonstrating that my life can actually flourish without it.

You know YOU the best and I really have no position offering advice. Seems like you're doing the best you can. Have you tried different kinds of meds for bi-polar, I've just always thought it was a biological condition that is nearly impossible to manage without assistance? Anyway, I hope you feel better today. Merry Christmas.

Originally Posted by ByTheWay,

If anyone raped or molested my wife or child i'd off them myself so I guess it doesn't matter. If you don't feel those type of emotions in that situation then that is you and in my opinion makes you a twisted person from a twisted state (UTAH) if that is where your from!

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

*bump*
So if any of you read my last post, here is the results of the 'my drunk dad is forcing me so spend Christmas with him and buy gifts' story.

Long story short...er. My dad called me drunk and balling his eyes out on Christmas like a true asshole. He had called on the 22 or so to say he had changed his mind and didn't want to get me or my brother Christmas presents. That's ok, now I don't have to get him any. Good, because I have no money left. He then said he still wanted to get together though.. so I asked him to come over on Christmas eve and I’d make him dinner. The next day I called to confirm. He didn’t even remember talking to me the night before and said he couldn’t make it. He was clearly drunk already (presumably self loathing because no on had made plans with him for christmas yet, even though I had). Then on Christmas day he called and cried about how no one called him or did anything for him on Christmas. I had to remind him that not only did I call, I invited him over for dinner and he didn’t remember… and that I also called the day before and he told me he didn’t remember me inviting him and there fore, was too drunk already to make it (even though I had already gone and spent my last dollars on food to make his drunk ass). Apparently he didn’t remember that either. He spent about an hour crying like a school girl about how no one loves him. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and told him it was his own fault. He always tries to guilt me like it’s my fault. Saying I never call… when I do. But he never remembers! I had enough! I kind of lost it on him and then said I had to go.
When I got home from my mom’s on Christmas day, I called him back again, assuming he’d be over himself and we’d have a real conversation. Nope. More crying. Non stop crying. My 47 year old dad balling his eyes out. So 2 -3 hours of my Christmas was spent hiding in a bedroom trying to calm my dad down like you would a baby, as he told me he wanted to kill himself because no one loved him. He told me about how he calls suicide hotlines and once they sent an ambulance. Yes, this is what your daughter wants to talk about Christmas day. I reminded him that it was his own fault and he was the only one who could fix it. I told him if he didn’t get help our relationship was over. Maybe I'm being selfish but I've fucking HAD ENOUGH!
He’s been going to AA since but he’s done that before so I don’t have much hope. He calls everyday now, over and over till I answer… to tell me he’s not drinking. I’m happy, of course, that he isn’t… but you don’t win trust back in 5 days after being drunk and ignorant for more than 5 years. I keep talking to him because I know if I don’t he’ll just drink again. Hell, he specifically told me that. Yeah, that's nice to hear. "Hey, daughter, if you stop returing my calls I'm going to start drinking again because I have no one" That’s a lot of unfair pressure if you ask me. I’m his daughter. Plus, do you know how shitty I feel everytime he says he has no one and no one loves him when I try so fucking hard to show that I do? What, do I not count? I'm just the sucker who will listen but really you don't even care about me and wish I were someone else?
On top of that... Um, he’s supposed to support and take care of me. Not that I shouldn’t do the same for him… but he’s never done it for me, and I’m getting a little tired of the guilt trip.
Here’s hoping he sticks to it, gets his own life, and lets me be a regular daughter who meets him for dinner every couple months or so. I’ve got my own life to live too you know…

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

Wow, that's really rough, Melanie. I'm sorry to hear what a douche of a father you've been stuck with. I think your reactions to him have been pretty fair. Don't take offense but do you feel that perhaps you'd be better off emotionally if he were to kill himself? Even with him not drinking, he's still holding you hostage by threatening to resume drinking if you "abandon" him, and that's just as selfish as him getting drunk and guilt tripping you for things that he was actually responsible for himself. I think the best thing for him would be to enter a group home or go into rehab because what's happening now is that you're his case worker, not his daughter, and you're right, that shouldn't be your role.

You're a better child than I am. I would probably not have spent all that time on the phone with either of my parents on Christmas if they were behaving like your dad. I'm fortunate that the person in my family who resembles your father is one of my uncles and I see him very rarely, which is more often than I wish it was. Before reading what you've posted in the past couple weeks, I could only imagine what kind of psychological toll that must've taken on his kids. Now I don't have to imagine. Take care of yourself.

Originally Posted by Larry Farnsworth

"I assume you guys aren't familiar with all of the shit on this lineup but if you listened to shit radio stations you would be."

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

I'm just sitting here on my laptop trying SO HARD to keep from looking up. They're right across from me so when I raise my eyes..ew. Not to mention all the noise. smack smack. it sounds like they're eating peanut butter.

Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven

Devin - how does it feel to know that there are still more women in the world that would fuck me at this very moment than would fuck you?

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

so now i am in a bad mood ... i posted a thread for stef maybe making 1k posts .. he is at 999 and the next post to that thread would be 1k ... i thought that was cool and i owe him a favor for the hat yada yada .... so pf or someone deletes my thread .... i try to follow the board rules and even get yelled sometimes when i try too hard ... plus i just found out "someone" is going to iraq in a couple of months ... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... ron****

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

Originally Posted by canexplain

so now i am in a bad mood ... i posted a thread for stef maybe making 1k posts .. he is at 999 and the next post to that thread would be 1k ... i thought that was cool and i owe him a favor for the hat yada yada .... so pf or someone deletes my thread .... i try to follow the board rules and even get yelled sometimes when i try too hard ... plus i just found out "someone" is going to iraq in a couple of months ... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... ron****

Well, I feel much better now knowing it wasn't a hallucination in seeing your post! Christ, before I could get my "hooray's" posted, the damn thing was gone!

"Who is this doing this synthetic type of Alpha Beta psychedelic funkin'?"CHEMICAL BROTHERS

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

Re: The Bad Mood Thread

Originally Posted by canexplain

so now i am in a bad mood ... i posted a thread for stef maybe making 1k posts .. he is at 999 and the next post to that thread would be 1k ... i thought that was cool and i owe him a favor for the hat yada yada .... so pf or someone deletes my thread .... i try to follow the board rules and even get yelled sometimes when i try too hard ... plus i just found out "someone" is going to iraq in a couple of months ... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... ron****

I don't think you should take the thread deletion personally, ronald.

Originally Posted by ByTheWay,

If anyone raped or molested my wife or child i'd off them myself so I guess it doesn't matter. If you don't feel those type of emotions in that situation then that is you and in my opinion makes you a twisted person from a twisted state (UTAH) if that is where your from!