Fighting some sort of stomach bug while on the road, my father is in the ICU for shortness of breath and fluid in the lungs. I cannot focus on work, although I have things to do. I have to get on an airplane to get home. I live 2500 miles from my parents. I cannot stop my mind from going to horrible places. I’m tired. I ache.

Why me? I can’t do this? I have never done this before? I don’t know if I can? What if I fail?

Anger

Why me!? What were they thinking!? Why does it have to be so hard!? What the fuck is wrong with theses people!?

Hate

WHY ME!?!? What have I done to deserve this!?!? Why does everything have to be so hard for me!?!? Why did you put me here!?!? You said this would be good!?!? You knew I was going to fail, didn’t you!?!? DIDN’T YOU!?!?!

Suffering

Why me…..? I’m never going to get anywhere, am I? I’m never going to be happy, am I? I’m going to be stuck here forever, aren’t I? Am I going to die like this….alone and miserable?

There is an adage that you hear from writers and writing professors that the best way to write is to just write, even so far as writing the word write X amount of times until you finally sort out the static in your head and begin to write something coherent.

Recent events have made me re-think how I communicate on the web and if I really need to participate with everyone else.

When everyone can see it, no one reads it.
When everyone cannot see it, no one reads it.
So why does any of it matter?

So I am going to write.

UPDATE: I have several draft posts from before I stopped posting that I am re-reading, editing and going to re-post. Don’t read into them too much 😉

Jeff : so ghostbusters 3 is a thing…without Murray or Ramis…or Reitman directing, as he has left the project

Bill : it’s gonna be 2 hours of akroyd yelliing about government conspiracies

Jeff : and drinking crystal skull vodka

they said the script doesn’t contain anything for Murray because he was difficult to reach

Jeff : so it was mostly penned by Akroyd and Reitman

I see potential for this project

we could get Guillermo del Torro to direct now

so the ghosts would be pretty epic, but the rest of the story would be pretty flat

or we can get Christopher Nolan to direct, reboot the series, make it dark and gritty

make them paranormal soldiers fighting the first wave of a supernatural war

Bill : oh, oh…..do Abrams now!!!

Jeff :Abrams would reboot the series where a future Peter comes back in time to try and warn the younger versions of themselves about a demon they encounter that kills the team and opens the mortal realm to the horrors of its dimension

Abrams would keep some of the comedic elements of the originals while also giving the series a more action-oriented, dramatic flavor

Bill : Joss Whedon

Jeff : Joss would set the series closest to the original, with the lighthearted humor that made the first film so successful. He would introduce at least 2 love interests into the team, and I believe one of the Ghostbusters would be female. He would also employ a plot on a far grander scale, with a supernatural enemy that actually is killing people or worse rather than representing some existential dominance scenario

The ghostbusters would also likely exist outside of societal norms, rather than the celebrity status they enjoyed in the first 2 films (though he may lead them into celebrity to introduce the issues it causes them in the next film)

Bill : i <3 you

Jeff : 😉

Bill : Speilberg!

Jeff : Speilberg would likely go with Akroyd and Murray, portraying them in their retirement. The death of Egon would reunite them after a long period of estrangement. At the funeral, a curator of a museum would beg them for help as his daughter has been posessed by an ancient artifact of some sort.

The film would take some heavy judeo-christian undertones, addressing demons and angels rather thank the odd ghosts from the first 2 films

There would still be a fair amount of laughs, with some of the corny nature of the first 2 films

Saving the girl would galvanize the two, making them realize the need for their expertise, which would result with the formation of a new team under their leadership, setting the stage for future films

*care would need to be taken to ensure that a) no fucking aliens AND b) Lucas isn’t made aware of the project until after it has finished editing

I sit here at my desk, angry at the lack of professionalism of a multi national multi billion dollar company. I wallow in my own first world self pity, laughing at it ironically the whole time.

I dream of the landscapes of Blade Runner, The Matrix, Fight Club and Mad Max and wonder when it will all come to pass. Or will it at all?

I read the news about the nihilism of modern media, the corruption of modern politics, the destruction by modern corporations, the expanse of the poor, the ineptitude and delusions of the rich and the destruction of the middle class….and I don’t do a damn thing. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer and the corporation has the same rights as a man.

I want more than what I have but I don’t want to work for it. I am the epitome of the self entitled person. I want to lead the revolution…..but I can’t forget to pay the rent and I need to pay off my credit card debt. I want to live in the wide open spaces of the mid west; I want to live in the heart of the city; I want to live on the beach with my dog who can catch a frisbee.

A pain in the ass colleague just walked up and totally killed my concentration…..

I require data to do my current job. If you do not provide me with accurate data or you do not allow me to gather the data necessary, I cannot do my job successfully.

Do not ask me to do my job without the data, as you won’t actually get what you were promised. You will in fact get garbage.

And when everything blows up in our collective faces, do not pile all the blame on me….you will be just as guilty for not providing me or allowing me to gather the data I needed to perform the job you asked me to do.