An aha! moment for difficult child

As I said in the morning thread difficult child spent 4 days with a buddy and his family. Not only did I get a lovely comment about difficult child from the mother, it seems difficult child grew up a bit.
This young man is a very anxious young man and difficult child befriended him when he first went to school. He is a little less independent than difficult child but really high anxiety.

Today when difficult child was taking out the trash, I thanked him for doing it with out a hassle. It's really a help. He said "I had a glimpse of what my life would be if I don't make a choice to grow up". I didn't really know what he meant. He said if he didn't grow up he would live a life like his buddy. "What would that be, difficult child?" I ask. He said, " buddy is immature, impulsive and obnoxious. He doesn't take any advice and he can't live on his own. It's the way I would be if I don't grow up" He quickly added "I will always be a kid at heart." Heck, I'll take it.

I was pretty blown away by his reflective thought process. Could it be that another light bulb turned on? Did we go one step further on difficult child's life journey? I try not to blow simple situations out of proportion. He hasn't really done anything different but like all of us warrior mom's, my heart leaped in hope that things will change and improve for him.

I think seeing things in others that they suddenly realize are there in themselves really is a huge step. I think that is one of the really big parts of why Cory has been changing. He sees others who are doing stupid things that he did and he now thinks how dumb they are for doing it.

I think this is the part of being a parent like us that is phenominal. We are lucky enough to fully appreciate a moment like this through the eyes of parents who can truly appreciate the value and worth of your sons' comment! Thanks for sharing the aha moment. You've come a long way baby! Thats BOTH of you babies....

Thanks all. I know you appreciate his insight.
It is a sign of a warrior mom to hear that comment and know how important it is. I absolutely appreciate hearing it.
I sure hope it's not pride on my part. I think I was humbled pretty early on but it did give me that surge of hope. Doesn't that recharge our batteries and want us to put the energy into some productive use?
Now it's up to him to make a plan to achieve small goals. Developmental delay and emotional delay doesn't mean it doesn't ever happen. Right?
It used to be 18 was the magic number when there wasn't anymore progress expected. Fortunately, that was quite a few years ago.

We have been in a holding pattern improvement wise for quite a while. Maybe he is ready to make a leap because he sees in another what his alternative is.

Good insight on the part of difficult child. I don't know if it indicates he's ready for a leap, but that self-awareness is a good first step. And it doesn't sound like pride on your part; it sounds like hope. It sounds like a warrior mom.

Fran, he just gave you the perfect 'do to get' real life scenario. You can always remind him of how he felt after returning from that trip. If he is anything like my difficult child, he will need the reminders - LOL!

I am happy for him to not only see it and be able to verbalize it - but NOT want the same for himself! WOW! Way To Go difficult child!!!!

good news. Perhaps, for your difficult child, seeing what he doesn't want (or don't want to be) is a bigger lesson than seeing what he wants (or what they want to be). Formulating a plan to get where they want to be could be overwhelming. But formulating a plan on what they don't want to be may be an easier thing to wrap their heads around.

Amazes me how difficult children can see things so clearly in another child but usually not in themselves. It is fabulous that difficult child is able to see the connection to his own life and how his good choices have affected him. WOW!