By JEFF BROWN

​Welcome to the epicenter of my work on human nature.

I've taken the long way around to get here, with no formal training in psychology, and only a basic understanding of human anatomy and physiology. What I'm about to share with you has come from an extensive deductive process over many years and thousands of observations of women and men...

A QUICK BACKSTORY

My high school years were spent as a lonely dorky dreamer, longing for the girls I was too afraid to approach, and relying on prayer and karma and fate to help me along...

​It didn't quite work out.

​After my first massive rejection and ensuing depression at the age of 22, I began a six month physical transformation, gaining 40 pounds of muscle from working out every day and taking Accutane to clear up my severe acne. I tried different hair styles, and actually attempted to create a better wardrobe, which admittedly from the photo below still needed some refining...

And you know what? Sure enough, I began to attract the attention of the type of girls I'd always dreamed of.

​Several months later, my first "relationship," which made it all of two months, started out fast and furious, with shared feelings, great expectations, and seeing each other every day. I was sweet and affectionate and wanted to be around her all the time, and it was great for a while, but that somehow blew up in my face. She said I was "smothering" her and promptly dumped me!

Well shit. I thought it was all about being attractive, so why couldn't I maintain her interest?

It was then recommended by a wise friend from work that I try being a jerk for a while and see if that worked. So that's just what I did, and I couldn't believe how well it worked! I was suddenly dating multiple hot girls at a time! It was like they couldn't get enough of me. I had no idea why it worked, but heck, I was having fun (and sex) with beautiful women.

But after my first Fiance left me 3.5 years later, I was yet again perplexed about what made women feel in love. Being a jerk had gotten me much, much further along, but something was still missing. I could still sense her interest slowly fading away over time.

After hundreds of hours of online searches, and many more reflecting on how my romantic interactions had played out, there was only one individual who's advice actually matched what had happened with my relationships, not what was supposed to happen.

His name is Doc Love, and he's a dating coach for men.

I devoured his content over several years and put it to good use, winning the heart of the most desirable waitress where I worked.

We had next to zero in common, yet we still made it 1.5 years on my knowledge of chemistry and attraction alone.

Fast forward to today. I've been with the same hot, sexy, wonderful woman for 10 years. We're extremely compatible, have 3 beautiful little girls, and feel just as in love or more than we did at the beginning of our relationship.

BUT, "WHY?"

We humans are curious by nature, and I'm about as curious as we come. So after continual confirmation over the past 15 years of highly successful interactions with women, I found myself wondering about the deeper "why" we do what we do with love.

Specifically,

1. Why do people never fall back in love?

It seems a bit strange that people don't at least occasionally fall back in love. Sure, most people pretty much stick with the same mentality throughout life, known as a "fixed" mindset.

But what about the growth minded people? They can't fall back in love later on down the road? If so, where are they?

2. Why do women respond so consistently favorably to a man being indifferent and aloof once a connection has been established?

Doc Love pioneered the concept of "challenge," which was a key piece to my understanding why women choose to stay with one man over another. But again, why? It seems completely backwards to what should happen with attraction.

For the first question, I arrived at the concept of survival. What if women didn't get back together with men once their interest level got low enough because a sort of genetic switch turned off deep down inside them?

If certain non-physical male strengths were neglected enough, that switch turned off as a primitive fail safe to keep them alive, because staying with a weak organism would be too risky.

Hmmm.

This is probably starting to sound pretty weird to you at this point, so let me mention that what takes place deep inside a woman's mind is subconscious- she doesn't know it's happening. There's a disconnect.

For the second question regarding challenge, I continued down the survival path of thought.

Say you have a crude biological organism, stripped away of all logic and reason, and that organism relies solely on feelings to keep it alive. What does it respond to?

Strength and weakness.

Strengths, or aspects good for survival, are measured by the sensation of pleasure- attraction and sex for example. Aspects detrimental to survival are met with the sensation of pain- think burning your hand on a hot stove.

So wouldn't it make sense that a primitive organism wanting to mate, without logic or reason, would respond to strength, and repel weakness?

If you had no logic or reason, and a potential mate pulled away from you, how would that register?

I say strength.

​SAY HELLO TO YOUR LITTLE LIZARD BRAIN FRIEND

It's been scientifically proven that humans have a primitive section of life sustaining processes inside the brain stem known as the "reptilian brain." Yes, I know it's not flattering to think of ourselves as lizards, but the fact is nearly all vertebrates have very similar brain anatomy and function. So if lizards offend you, imagine monkeys or something more cuddly like koala bears.
​We're all just animals, we just happen to be the most advanced on earth with our fancy opposable thumbs and highly tuned Neo cortex.

​Regardless of whether you're a man or woman, your primitive foundation is setting the tone for your wants and desires. Feelings compel action. Logic and reason manage those actions. Feelings are not logical.

A woman's attraction to a man is measured in what's known as "interest level." Interest level can move up or down depending on a man's non-physical strength qualities, which are Ambition, Composure, Confidence, Charisma, Challenge, Status, and Self-Esteem. The more a man exhibits these qualities, the more a woman's interest level goes up. The more a man lacks these qualities, the more her interest level goes down.

Physical attraction is much less important to women than it is to men. Women are attracted to how men make them feel and the physical is just the tip of the iceberg. Yes, there has to be some degree of physical attraction, and physical attraction is somewhat relative.

At the most basic level, men are searching for sex, and women security, but that doesn't mean men don't enjoy security and women sex. Just because we have foundational urges doesn't mean we can't live fulfilling lives together with all the higher aspects of human morals, friendship, and compatibility. ​

​THE TAKEAWAY

Our reptilian brain is still doing what it does best, giving us humans what it feels is the best chance to survive! It doesn’t know we’re up in outer space. It doesn’t know how far we’ve come technologically, culturally, politically, economically…It. Is. Not. Logical.

It's a chemical process that produces feelings of pleasure, comfort, and longing when it detects enough strength, and displeasure, disgust, and avoidance when it detects a lack of strength.