Fitting In: Simon Sinek

Appreciation from the like-minded

I went as Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe (the version I grew up with, not the modern movie version). And it was amazing. I couldn’t walk 10 feet without someone wanting to have their picture with me. Throughout the day I heard people calling out, “Hey, Snake Eyes.” Anywhere else I would have been a dork or a misfit, but at Comic Con, dressed in head-to-toe spandex, I felt comfortable. I was with people who liked me for me, for all my idiosyncratic ways.

The experience was more powerful than just a fun day at Comic Con — this was about human nature. So often in our lives we put ourselves in uncomfortable positions because we think we have to. We go to law school or become accountants because our parents told us it would be good for us, not because we wanted to. We choose one job over another because it pays better, not because we are good fits. We offer a view of ourselves to the outside world based on what we think they want from us, not based on who we really are. We do the things that we hope will gain us acceptance all in search of that comfort, that feeling like we belong. But, ironically, all that twisting and turning actually makes us more uncomfortable.

find your niche

I used to hide my geekiness. I used to cover it up for fear that others would judge me. I wanted to fit in like anyone else, so I acted the way I thought would gain me most acceptance. But this weekend, at Comic Con, I learned a big lesson. The goal is not to bend or change ourselves so we fit the norm; the goal is to find the group in which we are the norm. No matter who we are, no matter what our values or beliefs, our tastes or proclivities, there is an entire culture or subculture out there just like us. I learned that, instead of expending energy to fit into the group, it’s better to expend energy to find the group in which you fit.