another craptastic day

so i’m still sick. i ended up staying in bed for most of yesterday. i just couldnt muster up the energy to do anything around the house. so i cuddled up with nitro and went to sleep. i thought by this morning i might be feeling a little bit better. but no, i feel so much worse. my nose is completed blocked up and i am finding it hard to breathe. and that is really triggering to me. the one thing i hate is not having enough air. it triggers so many bad memories of things like near drownings as a child, especially during the ritual abuse when i thought i was going to die. i’m hot too and thats not helping. i hate being too hot or too cold. i dont have a thermometer but if i did i think i have a temperature. i’ve taken some medicine, a lemsip already this morning. i have to go out today, i have a meeting at the basement club, its a meeting of the editorial committee to talk about the creative writing booklet we’re creating. not sure what happening with that, whether we actually are going ahead with it or not, todays meeting will probably tell a lot. so i plan on staying in the basement club for a couple of hours, then i have to go see dr. barry. allie wants to talk to dr. barry, i said we’ll see. mostly its just a check in appointment with dr. barry. i need to ask her to refer me again to the weekend team this weekend. my sister phoned yesterday evening, she had made lasagna and she asked me if i wanted some, so i jumped at that because it means i dont have to cook anything. so mom is coming over with my sister later this afternoon and they will drop it off and mom is going to clean the yard and do a couple other things around the house while she’s here. i probably wont be here but she has a key so she’ll be able to get in. i just want this headcold to go away. i’m ready to not be sick any more.