October 21, 2003

I'm pissed off, frankly at my parents. I've work a while, mainly because I have been thinking about new positions I would rather be in, other than computers. I love technology, I love the internet, I just don't know if I really want to work at builting it or creating software. Although I do rather enjoy working on my web site Everything and some tribbles, and have created some interesting other websites like Reynolds Rap and Martin Sargent is a God (I don't really think he's a god, it's something I thought would be neat to make); but that's all I like about it. I don't want to create software to make it easier; my theory is that there is software already out there all I have to do is find it. I don't want to built computer chips or computers for other people; that's why we have Intel and Dell people. I admit it I'm not an Intel or Dell person; is that so wrong. I wouldn't my selling it; in fact you can never have to many ways to make personal computers available to the public.

Anyways before I lost track of my subject I'll tell you why I'm pissed off. I woke up this morning about 9:30a (Yeah, I know it was late but that's another story), I planned to actually go apply for some positions for selling electronics and a position for selling toys at 'Toys'R'Us' It's has electronics. Anyways I was all set to go when my mother tells me about a doctor's appointment. Me being a nice child (I refer to myself as a child only because she gave birth to me), decided it would be wise to take her instead of her actually driving herself (her eye-sight is really bad and she refuses to wear her glasses). So I would prospone my actual job applying until after her appointment.
Around 1pm, we head on out and about half way there she announces it is an appointment for a pychologist that my father made for me. I'm liked shocked, I almost turned the car around right there. But I went ahead and humored my parents. The whole hours we spent trying to figure out why I was there. I kept saying stupid things like well maybe I'm depressed Well, you know what I'm NOT DEPRESSED!!!I'M JUST PISSED OFF NOW!!!! What else would you be if your parents made a surprise appointment for you and not telling until the last minute? I told the doctor, my father thinks I'm depressed because he is always depressed. Also I kept repeating the phase 'I don't know' I know it is annoying; but my mind went blank. Told the doctor about my website and my blog; so if he reads this I might have another visit. (Ha Ha) I told him it was a collection of all my other pages and some other weird stuff. The one advice I did get from him which I'll most likely do Wednesday, because I'm meeting with several interviewees, is voluteer at a local care shelter which that would at least get me away from my parents and out of the house and let me focus on something other than them nagging and bitching all the time. "Get a job here! Get a job there!" AAAAAAHHH!! If you want to email me fine. I'm at jtmax28(at)hotmail.com. I've got to get off, but I felt I had to vent. And you know what I feel better now.

October 13, 2003

If you couldn’t figure out by the title I am left-handed. I feel I live in a right-handed world. I cannot stand the fact that when most inventions come out they are automatically made for the right-hander. It like that everywhere, and no one seems to care.

My grandmother was originally born a left-hander, but her teachers forced her to use her right hand. I can remember on several occasions when I was just learning
to write, my teacher was right-handed, that she often had trouble showing me how to write correctly; I don’t really remember her forcing me to use my right hand
but I do remember I never had the best penmanship because it felt like she just didn’t know how to teach lefties how to write. For the longest time I think my
parents were confused, because I can remember them getting me a lot of scissors for right-handers. I admit it; I’m left-handed. When I first got my first computer with a mouse. The programming was automatically set-up for the mouse to be used with the right hand. I did move the mouse to the left side of my computer and try to use the mouse with my left hand, but my desktop setting of
my computer and with nearly all programs did not have an option for left-handers to switch the buttons I often found it to challenging to fight the system. So I decided to use the mouse with my right hand. When Microsoft finally came out with the option of switching the buttons for lefties and I got a bigger desk; I found that relearning to use the mouse with my mouse quite a challenge, so I
just stick with keep on using the mouse with my right hand.

Usually when I’m surfing the Internet I’ll use both my mouse and a combination of keyboard shortcuts. It makes me appear faster than I really am. In fact
that’s the biggest complaint if I’m showing someone a site; they always tell me to slow down. I can type with just my left hand and use the mouse with my right
at the same time. In fact that’s how I answer email and write onto several of the message-boards I go to.

I have found a website that actually list bunch of celebrities and historical figures that are and were left-handed. Some great lefties are Drew Carey and Jim Carrey, Colin Mochrie and Leo Laporte The list is long, and it is nice to know there are people just like me who live in a right-handed world. The Official Left Hander Site for more information about lefties.

October 07, 2003

Isn't it funny how people think of each other. I've been online for over 12 years now and the most common question still when I go into chat rooms or message boards is that age old acronym 'asl' (age/sex/location). I keep telling everyone what the hell does it matter. I'm never going to meet them. It doesn't matter if I'm a boy or girl; if I'm from Arkansas or Australia. It doesn't matter if I'm black, white, yellow, or a green little alien. It's the internet; it doesn't matter what I look like as long as I have ideas and have fun.

I sometimes go into Yahoo! Games playing Yahoo! Towers (it's a multiplayer tetris-like game), I am totally into it. I love playing in partners because it means I'm not the only one that sucks. Sometimes I'll find a high ranking player so maybe I can win, but it's not always the case especially if their score is like 5000 and mine's still at 1000. So mostly I'll just partner with some average player and it's great, if I'm totally into the game I don't care that I suck because I'm having fun which it great with me; and in between rounds I'll can have quick conversations till the next round. Most in between conversations is like:
"Hey, u come here often?"
"yeah i luv dis game."
"really?"
"Oh, next game starting"
Some people will come in and ask for photos. Where I live or some crap like that. I tell them view my profile everything that I want you to know about me is there. Hey, you can view my profile, too. Yeah, I know it's a picture of my dog, but he's so pretty I love showing him off.

Anyways, while playing Yahoo Towers, I partnered up with someone with an average score, and we were getting are ass kicked. But hey I was enjoying the time playing. (Hey, even if I get my ass kicked in a game, if I'm having fun it doesn't matter). In one of the rounds we were chatting with my partner, telling them I sucked and everything; when this rude person comes in starts calling my partner names and basically saying a bunch of racist things about the person I was partnered with. This pisses me off and about . . . well everyone in the room. We all decided if this person is going to play we'll just force him to lose every round, and it was working. Well, until my partner had to leave for work. We of course kept slamming the person that first made the remarks. (Hey, we were venting our anger in a non-violent way.) After my partner left, they messaged me and thanked me for sticking up for them; which I thought was a little weird. But I just thought the dude was a jerk for making some accusations that he had no right to make. And it made me realize more it doesn't matter what you look like on the internet; Because you can be a 13 year old Korean girl and still kick the butt of a 52 year old white boy in chess. You can also have the best idea come from someone you would normally hate if you met them. So it doesn't matter what we look like. It doesn't matter if our ideas are dumb sounding out loud, because they might be genius online. Just as long as you have fun, you will probably learn a little more about yourself if you stop asking who everyone else is, and just voice your ideas on message boards, chat rooms, and websites.

Well, that's my opinion anyways; so criticize me if you must; but it won't really change how I feel. :)