I’ve come to the conclusion that anything subscribing to a one-way street aka thinking positive thoughts only, is like a diet…and how hard are diets to maintain?

Very difficult.

Most of us would need electroshock therapy to get rid of every negative thought we have and who wants to do that? I sure don’t.

What is far more appealing and a lifestyle rather than battling oneself to the positive end of the rainbow is the word: acceptance.

Acceptance that we’re all crazy, weird, may get angry at inconsideration, which may lead us to think psychotic thoughts about random acts of violence to people in other cars or those who cut in long lines; basically whatever gets under our skin.

We can laugh at some of our more ridiculous imaginings and wonder what the world would think if they knew what bizarre things lurked in our minds underneath our calm facade.

Sometimes we hide our thoughts, because we’re embarrassed. “Aren’t you over that yet?” is what we may hear if we divulge our sad thoughts about a broken heart months afterwards. Perhaps, we still can’t get past some other event, which we’re afraid to even admit to ourselves hurts a lot, which then results in stifling our emotions.

At that point, someone may suggest thinking positive thoughts and that repeating positive affirmations will do the trick, but they can make a person feel even crappier! “You can’t put perfume on a pig or put a tablecloth on s**t, expecting either to smell better.”

Human beings are a complexity of parts, some we favor more than others, but all in all, accepting these pieces and parts makes us feel whole.

We are whole, not just made of thoughts. We’re also not able to sustain an unnatural state of positive thoughts only. Now, it’s not to say that things can’t be peaceful inside, on the contrary, our inner world can be very peaceful, and that comes from allowing.

Allowing all thoughts to come and go as they please, no attachment necessary. Just let them walk in and walk out. The trouble for our inner world comes when we hold a thought that makes us feel bad, we have now personalized the thought.

When we own the thought, we develop a belief about it and the world. Usually it fits with what we believe about our reality .

I’m human; when I get frustrated, angry, sad or whatever the emotion, thoughts accompany that feeling. The difference I find is when I allow my thoughts to be whatever they are, the ones I want to gravitate toward, are the ones, which bring me back to my peaceful and creative state.

The more junk I’ve cleared from my inner wardrobe, the more space I have to not personalize or hold on to what makes me feel worse.

What can someone do to have peace, who struggles on the road to some sort of perfection of having only positive thoughts?

1. Allow.

Just allow the thoughts to come, watch them, acknowledge them; we don’t have to fight against them or try to lasso them in. Don’t control—let the thoughts waft in and float by naturally, no ownership.

2. Feel your feelings.

Sometimes when we shove our feelings down or fight them, repressing them, we’re subjected to even weirder thoughts and emotional sludge that makes us feel stuck in a dark space. We don’t have to own our feelings either; allow them to be whatever they are, acknowledge them too. It’s okay, because all of this allowing of thoughts and feelings creates space.

3. Non-Personalization.

Our thoughts don’t have have to mean anything at all, period. Especially in the context of who we are and what we do. When we think thoughts about others in their relation to us, we can start to personalize their actions, words and imagined thoughts in their heads. There’s no reason to do it, because it offers no control and can lead us to feeling bad.

4. Focus on your peace and creativity.

Meaning, when we have thoughts that float in and out, we don’t have to focus on their content,especially if we can’t detach from some troubling ones. We can shift our focus inwards toward compassion and kindness for ourselves. Our perception shifts making space for peace to be creative. Creativity lends itself to thoughts shifting on their own to passion, feeling engaged and okay in our skin.

About Tracy Crossley

Tracy Crossley is a hyphenate: female, writer, curiosity quencher, artist, poet, gardener of real gardens and existential ones, clairvoyant, and momma to grown ups. She is an executive mentor as her main gig. She is currently speaking, writing and mentoring people on empowerment in leadership and relationships. If you want to learn more about her, please check out website, facebook page, blog and on twitter, she always follows back. If you really want to get some quality time with her, email her at Tracy AT tracycrossley dot com or her free weekly 10 minute audios.