Bob Sanders’ fast and physical play has earned him many
nicknames including ‘Hitman’ and ‘The Eraser.’ My personal moniker for Bob
is ‘The Zombie’ or ‘The Brain-Eating Zombie.’ It’s something about the way
he plays. He’s very goal-oriented, like a zombie. Bob needs to take
out ball carriers as badly as the common zombie needs fresh brains. And
that got me thinking. . . I did some research and came to an unexpected conclusion.
Here are my top five reasons I believe Bob Sanders IS IN FACT a zombie:

5) “Bob from Iowa” sounds very much like an assumed
zombie identity. It was likely stolen from an unsuspecting farmer victim.

4) What ever happened to the Colts’ third string free
safety Jershon Williams? I’m not ruling out zombie attack.

Updated: Observant 18 to 88 reader
Sheila Ford reports that Jershon is currently playing in something
called NFL Europa, although frankly that sounds made up.

3) According to the Boston Herald, during training
camp 2006 the New England Patriots updated their play book to include
what wide receivers coach Brian Daboll referred to as “our undead appendix”:

2) This new play book has been deemed a failure because
Patriot’s receiver Reche Caldwell was clearly intimidated during the AFC
championship game. He would later attribute his poor play to “that
tackling machine Bob Sanders.” He then added, “He’s been reanimated by a
voodoo curse.”