No Foolin’

Some funny business is afoot on the mountain this month.

What a month it’s shaping up to be for us mountain types. There’s fresh snow in the forecast, hair-brained contests, unbelievable announcements, and longer days for us to soak it all up.

So without further delay, here’s a pair of headline-grabbers for skiers to take note of. Choose wisely to avoid disappointment this weekend.

On Saturday Mount Hood Skibowl is on the lookout for some real dummies. But not just any knuckle-dragging snowboard or gaper-gapped skier will do. These dummies are ones that have been specially designed for entry into the mountain’s first ever Dummy Downhill.

The contest will feature homemade contraptions launched off a jump in the Lower Bowl built especially for this event. According to the organizers what constitutes a dummy is entirely open to interpretation: A yeti, a Lindsay Lohan-styled mannequin – whatever, so long as it can be mounted to a pair of skis or a single snowboard and weighs no more than 125 pounds, it’s a dummy. (We’ll assume that no one is actually dumb enough to include explosives, fire, glass or prickly objects on their contraptions.)

Besides creativity, points will be awarded for the dummy’s approach to the jump, the height achieved midair and whether not it sticks the landing. Judging, as you might imagine, is purely subjective.

Speaking of judgment, this is bound to make some heads turn. Timberline has just announced later this month it will commence helicopter service to the summit of Mount Hood for skiers and snowboarders.

I know what you’re thinking: That’s crazy! Crazy awesome. Why worry over schleping yourself up the icy, technical climb to the top in the dark of the night when a heated AS350B3 A-Star Helicopter—specially modified for high altitude transport—is standing by to ferry you and 3 of your buds to the summit in less than 5 minutes.

Depending on how fast you can make it back down to lodge, skiers can expect up to 5 runs per day. Plenty of time to laugh and wave to all the crusty mountaineers preparing to struggle up to the top the old fashioned way. Suckers!

According to the lodge, here’s how a typical day would break down: Flights will be limited to a small window of time each day, to allow mountaineers safe passage to the top without concern of dealing with the rotor wash the helicopter may produce. How considerate. And the cost—just $795 per person, per day. At that price you might as well book Saturday and Sunday. ?

Phone lines are already busy, but keep trying – I doubt deals like this will last past today.