15 things us New Hampshirites have to explain to out-of-towners

1. There is precisely 1 degree of separation between you, any New Hampshirite, and Adam Sandler.

Ask anyone from New Hampshire and they’ll likely tell you they know/have met/have a brother who plays on Adam Sandler’s nephew’s baseball team. It’s rare to meet anyone who doesn’t have at a relationship with the guy, even if weirdly remote. Our love isn’t one-sided either — the SNL alum and Happy Madison Productions creator is one of our own and regularly returns to cast locals in his films and host events.

2. We put maple syrup on everything. EVERYTHING.

Maple syrup is the nectar of the gods and this is a fact that New Hampshirites know innately. Scrambled eggs? Throw some syrup on there. Bacon? Pour on that syrup. When it comes to breakfast foods, we’re not eating it if there isn’t any maple syrup.

3. ‘Wicked’ can mean anything you want it to.

‘Wicked’ can be an adjective, noun or verb, so throw it out there however you like. Just be warned that once you get in the habit, it’s wicked hard to quit.

4. We don’t all love outdoor sports.

Do we have an ideal setting for nearly every sport under the sun? Yeah. Are all of us inclined to run a marathon or hike a bunch of mountains? Definitely not.

5. No, we aren’t all rednecks.

It’s amazing how many people think New Hampshire is a sprawling land filled with nothing but farmland. We have cities. I repeat: we have cities. Though we do have our fair share of farms, we also have mega malls, busy downtown areas and chain restaurants just like the rest of you.

6. We’re sorry you have to pay sales tax, because we don’t.

We’re looking at you Massachusetts and New York. We know why you come to New Hampshire to shop and we aren’t blaming you.

7. Peanut butter and Fluff sandwiches are a staple food item.

Fuff is the saving grace of every child who doesn’t like jelly and for this reason: Fluffernutters reign supreme. For the poor souls who don’t know what I’m talking about, a Fluffernutter, aka peanut butter and Fluff sandwich, is an absolute staple in the diet of every NH kid. How can you go wrong with PB and spreadable marshmallow creme? You can’t.

8. ‘Manchvegas’ and ‘Trashua’ are terms of endearment only to be used by locals.

As a born and raised resident of Nashua, let me instill in you that it’s only okay for other Nashuans to refer to the city as ‘Trashua.’ Likewise, those in Manchester would prefer you not throw around their nickname if you aren’t one of them.

9. We are mildly obsessed with vanity plates.

Statistically speaking New Hampshire has the second highest concentration of vanity plates, second only to Virginia. Like a bio on Twitter or profile picture on Facebook, your vanity plate says a lot about you.

10. A Masshole is the worst kind of driver to ever exist.

If you’re from Massachusetts and you’re driving in New Hampshire, you’re 100 percent the most hated person on the road. Here in NH we stop for pedestrians, we don’t run red lights (that often), we try not to cut each other off and we use our directionals! Imagine that.

11. No one who lives here calls it The Shire.

Too many out-of-town wisecrackers like to refer to us as The Shire. We are New Hampshire, NH, or the Granite State if you really must call us something else. Do many of us read Tolkien? Yes. Do any of us refer to our state as the fictional Middle-earth made known to all by Lord of the Rings? No, so you shouldn’t either.

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12. Patriots, Bruins, and Red Sox are the law of the land.

New Hampshire might not have our very own sports teams, but the fan loyalty radiating from the trifecta of the Pats, Bruins and Sox would make you think otherwise. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t have at least some vague allegiance, even those who “don’t like” sports.

13. We live our motto.

New Hampshire arguably has the most badass motto of any state and we are truly invested in the whole “Live free or die” thing we’ve got going on. Though talking on the cellphone while driving was just outlawed in July, don’t worry–we still don’t require that motorists wear helmets or seat belts.

14. We may have the smallest US coastline, but we are damn proud of it.

Eighteen miles might not seem like much to someone from Florida or California, but as the fifth smallest state in the country, we’ll take it.

15. There is more to us than leaf peeping and the primaries.

We are insanely proud of the fact that we are the first in the nation when it comes to primaries and that the counting of little ol’Dixville Notch’s 12 ballots close out the polls every election. The fact that we have some of the world’s most gorgeous foliage also isn’t lost on us. Trust me; we love cruising along the Kancamagus in fall and taking in the vibrant hues as much as the next person. Just keep in mind we are much, much more than important voters with some wicked beautiful trees.

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