THE EVOLUTION

Social Media, without question, has become a significant part of all of our lives, and this morning I had a think about how much it has evolved over the past eleven years, post graduating high school.

It is hard to believe that only a little over a decade ago, our way of life was invariably different to our lives now. I’m not saying that in a “I am so old now”, type of way, I mean that it doesn’t seem like a long enough timeframe, for a landscape to noticeably evolve. Though, I guess the introduction of Facebook, Twitter and Smartphones really changed the way society works. It’s changed the way we share an idea, it’s broken down barriers in regards to communication and it has revolutionised the way we all shop and comsume; social media is now a constant in all of our lives.

THE PRE-BROADBAND ERA

In the pre-broadband era, I remember opening a Myspace account whilst sitting on my friend Ceda’s CRT computer. She had had one for a while and insisted I create one, so I did and I quickly became addicted. I customised it using very, very basic HTML and I vaguely remember some teen angst band like Brand New was playing obnoxiously on my profile for a good two months at the beginning; you know, so people could see the raw and melancholy side me #IWasSoDeep.

MSN was also a huge contender around this time. We’d all jump excitedly on, directly after school, just in case anything cool had happened on the way home. We’d set song lyrics as our status’ for the whole world to see (Read: only really hoping our crush would notice this, when we constantly signed in and out trying to get their attention).

In a way, Myspace and MSN shaped our social lives for the better part of those years, however, the difference between then and now is, it was purely for communication and also, our controlled usage. We were only at liberty to use it when our parents allowed us, it wasn’t in our pocket, because you know, it was still hard enough to connect to internet on an (your families) actual computer.

In the eleven years I have been out of high school, the technology landscape has evolved so dramatically and smartphones have become a nearly ubiquitous element of teen life, making it markedly different to the social media I knew as a 17-year-old, back 2007.

Like anything, there are pros and cons. The pros allow teenagers to feel less lonely or alone, because it’s a space where they can interact with people instantly. It also gives them a voice and a way to express themselves, where they would not have been able to in the past. But the cons are, it can also lend to being an unsafe place, because of anonymity and the constant body image comparison – just to name a few.

THE SHIFT IN MEDIA CONSUMPTION

Since 2007, media consumption has shifted dramatically; where I only had to worry about surrounding peers, TV and glossy magazines, teenagers today now have access to the opinions, ideals and images of millions of people instantly. This is on top of the traditional forms they’re still consuming; adding an entire new level of societal pressure.

Through social media, there is the constant exposure to certain beauty standards and cultural ideals; making people feel dissatisfied or look at themselves through critical eyes constantly. In some way, I guess they’re victims to cultural aesthetic – which leads me to my next point.

A CULTURE OBSESSED WITH PERFECT

They now live in a world where the number of ‘likes’ seemingly correlates to popularity, which makes the need to “fit in” exist well past the school-yard. Now, in order to gain the popular vote, they’re compromising their unique identity in the form of creating the perfect images on a huge public platform known for it’s for self-objectification and comparison.

With social media playing such an integral part of our daily lives and everything being accessible from our pockets, we’ve have further become a culture obsessed with the idea of the “perfect” and in turn, vanity validation. To maintain this is physically impossible for everyone.

What sparked me putting pen to paper today (well, fingers to keys, because let’s be real, I am talking about 2018 after all), was seeing a sponsored advertisement on my Instagram Stories this morning, for an Airbrush app. It worries me that photo-editing apps reinforce the importance of body image, and that is so detrimental to anyone, at any age. It’s further creating an unhealthy perception for what is deemed “beautiful” and letting people constantly obsessing over it.

When I think about the timeline of editing, I know that Photoshop and photo manipulation software have been around since the 1980s, but the difference is, they were reserved for professionals which utilised the software on their computers for professional use. This software also didn’t have a singular use like apps do today. Enhancement apps can be used by anyone with a smartphone and it purely has one use; to look better and look like a “better” version of you for only $5.99AUD. There are so many different ones on the market; from creating abs to downsizing your head. They may have different names or uses, but the one thing they all have in common is they all perpetuate an idea of attainable, “perfect” beauty. And that is not okay.

“Now you can be sure all your portraits show only the best version of you” – A quote from the app description on iTunes.

CONCLUSION

With the landscape having changed substantially in 11 years, it is no doubt that social media will continue to change our society. It scares me that younger generations, who may I add, won’t even know a world were social media does not exist, don’t understand the fact that some people carefully select or modify images of themselves to present the best picture of themselves and their world. We really need to create further education and social media literacy surrounding apps, body dissatisfaction and body image.

Whilst I don’t think the culture of sharing images on Instagram, “selfies” or our lives online need to change, I do however think societies perception of beauty standards and perfection does. We need to move towards a culture that doesn’t over edit or adhere to standards that make us obsess over aesthetics. We need to move towards a culture where men and women aren’t defined by their bodies. Because until then we are giving legs to apps like these.

“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” ~ Francois Gautier

Last week I felt so off, and for the first time in a long while, I cried.

All I could think about was having to get up the next morning and force myself through another day. I snoozed my alarm too many times to count and I just lay in bed. I’m not one to wallow in self-pity and it generally takes me a lot to cry, so I forced myself to put on a smile and pretend to be happy. I went to my morning meetings and forced myself to act like everything was moving in the right direction.

In that tear filled moment I felt paralyzed, stuck, frozen and just not Ally. And while I think it’s important to let yourself have bad days, I also think it’s important to look inward and amend your “problems”. Cue: profound Instagram quotes about being in control of your own destiny. Cringe-worthy statements aside, it’s indubitable.

I know when I am off course because it begins the same way each time. Firstly I begin to have trouble sleeping, then I begin overthinking and my stress and anxiety levels heighten. This in turn leads to uncertainty in my career, my creativity becomes dormant and I start questioning the direction of my life as a whole. It happens every so often, but lately, a little more regularly than normal.

I suppose you could say over the last 8 months I have been trying to find myself, but the cliché-ridden nature of those words makes me cringe, so I prefer to say “working my s**t out.”. But even those words make me cringe, because then insinuate I don’t have my shit together; and I would like to think for the most part, I do. Over the past 8 months I have tried different things; read books, listened to inspirational talks, reached out to mentors, engaged in social situations and thrown myself into work. I did these things and hoped that all of these combine would lead me to that much anticipated eureka moment. But sometimes doing too much, just leaves you even more confused and clouded.

Over the weekend I had a huge moment of clarity and I began to think that I need to bring it back to basics and write it all down. Write down goals for everything in life. I no longer want to search for this magic moment where I feel like I am on the right course, I just want to work towards things that make me feel fulfilled, and trust they will lead me to where I need to go.

On Monday I wrote everything down that was troubling me, even if it was uncomfortable. And I didn’t settle for meaningless answers because I was only lying to myself if I wrote anything that was factual. The common denominator that I saw was that my values had shifted and I needed to get them back on track; because they are the very essence of who we are as individuals. And they really help guide us, so without solid values we often feel off-course and like we’re tangled within a proverbial spiderweb of problems.

This all may be irrelevant to you, but if it’s not, the first step is to write down what’s troubling you. Be raw. Be completely honest. Secondly, get an idea of what you want to do. Select one of the areas you are lacking in direction. Brainstorm some possible directions. Write them down. All of it. Then consider each one and narrow the field down to just a few of the best and most appropriate possibilities. Then thirdly write down some kickass goals. Big, small, get ‘em all down, because without a goal, how do you pick a direction, choose a road, or plot a course to get “there”?

And if after writing all of this down, you’re still finding it tough, look at changing a couple of these things, they will definitely help you find the right direction in life and help you work your s**t out.

Today marks a huge bloody milestone – it is the 8 year anniversary of me writing a blog.

The BIG 8. Not quite double digits yet, but a milestone nonethe-bloody-less.

My god the landscape for digital has changed in that time. Within these 8 years I have tried out lots of permutations, but I keep coming back to my blog. There is the ongoing battle between Blogging vs Instagram and the public vs private nature of these communications. It’s been interesting to see the landscape change from website, to the shift of people starting to post *everything* everywhere.

I now think that impermanence, like anonymity, has an important role to play in this ecosystem. Instagram won’t be around forever. There has to be a shift; and it’s exciting to see the tools develop that allow different forms of communication. When people ask if I think social media is dead, I say, “It’s not dead, nor will it die”. And it won’t. I’ve read blogs from 1994. You do the math. The tech will change, the devices will change, but people will still share photos and stories and experiences with one another.

So how did it all begin? On April 7th 2010, I registered a blogpost domain. I began publishing articles on The Unknown Pleasures. They were nothing special for you to read, but it is very personal to me. At 20, it was liberating that I could publish all on my own, and get lots of interesting people talking. I guess at that time, starting a blog felt like I’d launched my own (basically designed) magazine.

My headlong enthusiasm for the blogging in those early days lead me to a number of like-mind gals; we inexorably encouraged each other and became a little community and it gave me the courage to keep on producing fresh new posts and follow other creative pursuits. Five years ago I re-branded from The Unknown Pleasures to Substance, after a creative incubation period post moving back to New South Wales. Like anything creative, it’s an ebb and flow process and I quickly realised, I wanted to start writing about things beyond myself. Something more valuable for people to read. Something with substance. So; we converted the blogspot.com to .com – well to a .cc and then substance was, uh, digitally born.

In the past 8 years of trial-and-error, experiments, and growth, there’s been a helluva lot of learning.

When I first started blogging I wanted everything right now. I wanted to be better at photography, better at writing, better at growing an audience, better sharing opinions. And I wanted it all right now. But what I have learned, especially over the last year, when the digital landscape has changed so drastically with Instagram etc, is, it’s really an accumulation of hundreds of small steps that matters. Nothing has to happen right this very minute. As long as you’re taking small steps every day and you’re keeping your (passionate) snowball rolling down the hill and gaining momentum, then growth will inevitably happen.

I have also learned the quickest way to slip into comparison spiral is to spend all your energy focused on what everyone else is doing, what people look like and what they’re working on. As hard as it is at the beginning, try not to be influenced by those around you. Create your own lane. Then rock your lane. Because when you do, that’s when you beginning creating your best work. Maybe not everyone will get it or even like it, but that’s so fine. The good thing is, lots of people will and those are your people. And they’re legendary.

I have also learned that goal-chasing has a way of stealing the joy so right beneath you. I’m not talking long term goals, I am talking about chasing outcomes, numbers, followers, pageviews – all those big, fat shiny goals that you obsess over at the beginning, because you think they make all the difference and mean your work is good enough. Instead of being focused on the above, focus on today, focus on creating something you’re proud of.

Like I always say, I’m SO glad that you stopped by. And I hope you continue to grow with me. I hope to talk to more of you. To discuss more. And in an age of “influence”, I really don’t want to influence you to buy a product or anything on a superficial, surface level. I want to deeply influence people about the importance of having a passion and how to use it and make a living out of it, and the importance to be comfortable and confident in your true colours.

After 8 years, I just want to thank you. Thank you for being here, for being part of this community. Whether you’ve been here for 8 years or 8 days, I appreciate you.

Thank you to my friends and family who have also supported me and helped me along the way. You all know who you are.

And also; Happy Birthday Substance; At times you have felt like the longest journey,but in honesty, it has gone by in the blink of an eye. You are one of the best choices I’ve ever made.

Like any significant day within our calendar year, a specific day dedicated to a niche or a charity offers us time to reflect, and while I do think a lot of these days are hyped and we should extend our recognition beyond the day itself, I think today serves as a reminder to be proud of all the strong, courageous and independent women I know. It also serves as a reminder to extend this beyond today. We should be celebrating women; Every. Single. Day.

The women who embrace their strengths and their corresponding weaknesses.

The women who recognise we don’t all have to be strong and beautiful just because society tells us that “all women are strong”. Remember you don’t need to be re-molded, misshaped, or edited. You don’t need to blend in.

The women who wake up every day and unapologetically chase down their dreams. Even when it seems like their swimming against the current. I know the feeling. Go and chase those dreams. Believe in yourself.

The women who are proud of who they are, comfortable in their own skin, despite everything.

The women who let themselves feel sad on the days they feel sad.

The women who don’t let life get in the way of her dreams. Or let a “bad experience” shape her.

The women to have faced adversity and risen above and come out stronger.

The women who do what makes them happy.

The women who are fearless.

Also; know that you can be smart, soft, funny, unafraid, hard, irreverent, playful and ambitious all at the same time.

I recently read a quote; Grow Through What You Go Through. I hadn’t in the digital sea of vacuous Instagram quotes, come by this before. For some reason, this quote really resonated with me and afterwards I spent a lot of time in deep reflection and introspection. It generally takes a lot for an 800×800 quote to catch my eye on the infinite scroll, but I am glad I had a “moment of truth” – you know where one or several things turn out to be exactly what you needed to hear / read at the exact right time?

What I have learned this year is, that change can be innately intimidating. My theory is though; you could approach it by wallowing and let the hurt feed on you. Or you can look at it as an opportunity to learn, to improve, and to grow. That’s the thing, change and growth go hand-in-hand. I’ve thought this all along, but the deep reflection this quote allowed me to have, solidified this.

On paper, my life has looked a bit off balanced lately, but after reflecting on what and where my life is at the moment, I am happy. I feel in my heart that I was supposed to make the changes I have made. They are leading me somewhere I know deep down I want to be. I have had to learn to trust my decisions and that the discomfort I have felt was only going to be temporary.

So when you feel yourself slipping, choose to consciously respond to that little voice in your head and remember to grow through what you go through, because you will create a breakthrough – I promise.

This profound breakthrough could happen in so many areas of your life. What you should know is, each stage of growth begins with risk – but all the best things do. I truly think there is no better way to discover something about yourself. Breakthrough mean growth and growth means things like — discovering a new passion, making new friends, making a bold career move, discovering insight into who you are or the internal strength that’s been there all along, but didn’t realise you had. It’s been there screaming out to you that it, in fact, exists.

In closing; remember we cannot drive out darkness with darkness—only light can do that. You are capable of more than you know.

I have been writing this blog for four years now and prior to that I had another blog called The Unknown Pleasures. The running theme of Substance and The Unknown Pleasures is Joy Division. When I changed, it was a new chapter in my life and I felt like keeping a consistent theme throughout made sense. Because it has been four years, I thought I would share a few things about myself that you may not know already!

Annnnd go!

30 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

I grew up in several different places from the age of 1-17. From the age of 1-8 I lived on the Far South Coast of New South Wales, Australia. Then I moved to the Central West between the ages of 9-15. When I was 15 my parents moved back to the Far South Coast and I did my final school years there.

I lived in Cooma, New South Wales with my Mum for six months while the rest of my family was on the South Coast.

I moved out of home at 16 and lived with my best friend and her parents for year 12

I love vintage and antique shopping.

I have been in TV commercials, a music video and walked numerous fashion weeks. But I really didn’t enjoy modeling. I found going to castings and go-sees weren’t constructive and it took it’s toll on my self confidence. It taught me a lot about the industry and it lead to me working in the fashion industry. I learned that I wanted to write and work on projects.

I don’t like wearing things that are popular. If a trend takes off, I won’t wear it again. Cue: Birkenstocks, Fishnets, Superstars et al.

I hate being told I can not do something because I am female. It only makes me want to do it more.

I am really competitive with sports, board games and basically anything. I grew up doing a lot of sport / athletics so I think my competitive nature stemmed from that. I love a challenge. I also love watching tennis, swimming and surfing.

I can not pick up a new skill or action without wanting to be good at it – which is a good thing, but also a bad thing as well. For Example: I learned to wake board last year and I was getting so frustrated (I get super mad at myself) for not being able to do it instantly. I made my friends Chris, Chuck, Amy and Anthea keep circling until I managed to do it consistently!!

I am one of four children and I am the youngest. I have two sisters and a brother. My brother treated me like a boy all through my childhood. Anything he did, I did as well, so I think that’s why I am not a super girlie girl.

I find it easier to express / articulate myself through writing than speaking

My favourite genre of film is: Horror and 80s/90s rom-com

I chipped one of my back teeth on a vodka cruiser bottle when I was 15 and I can still feel the rough part of it.

I am 5’10” aka 177cms

I prefer reading books in first person, than third person

I got braces. Twice. Well, the second time round was Invisalign. That’s right I am one of those people who don’t learn and mess their perfectly straight teeth up. I got my Invisalign off a year ago and I have definitely learned my lesson.

When we younger my Brother and Sister Bec, would name all our belly buttons. Mine’s name to this day is Cumber Don. My brother’s is Oscar and my sister’s is Yoda.

My childhood dog died in my arms when I was 16

I am terrible at all video games, but great at board games

I am super laid back, but I used to have a pretty terrible temper. I can be quite fiery.

The next destination on my must-visit list is Japan

When I laugh my nostrils flare uncontrollably and all my friends find it hilarious. I am the only person I know this happens to!

I fall asleep within an hour of a long haul flight. I can fall asleep almost everywhere.

On my Dad’s side I am Danish and Irish. On my Mum’s side I am English.

I want to start telling other people’s stories instead of just having my blog as my own thing. I want to start a new project soon.

I nearly died two years ago when I was washed off rocks by a freak wave.

I can appear quite shy when I first meet people, but very quickly warm up