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Friday, 8 March 2013

It's decided - Amber's marrying a dermatologist

It's decided - Amber's marrying a dermatologist
8 March 2013

I’ve given it a fair bit of
thought, and I’ve come to the obvious conclusion – Amber is going to marry a
dermatologist.It’s decided.End of discussion.I don’t care how many hot surfer dudes she
falls in love with one day, it will be a dermatologist for sure.And this is why…..

This week I took Luke to a local
dermatologist.At fifteen, his skin is
obviously not great.In fact, it’s
pretty awful.And nowadays one certainly
can fix problems like this.If I weigh
the costs of a visit to the dermatologist, as well as the resulting medication,
as opposed to the emotional cost to his self-confidence, due to bad skin, then
I’d happily pay the dermatologist.

Or at least, that is what I
thought.Until I actually had to pay the
dermatologist.

Holy friggin moly!!!Was this guy for real???Luke and I reported to the receptionist when
we arrived and were handed two forms to complete.Form number one obviously required all of our
details - address, contact numbers, etc.All pretty straight forward.As
for form number two?That was the tricky
one.Form number two, informed me that
we had to pay for the consultation immediately.And the amount you might ask?Well, that would be R600 for a fifteen minute visit.I tried to keep my composure and managed to
drag my jaw off the ground.But only
just.I told the receptionist that I was
not aware that I had to pay in advance (I suppose I should have asked when I
made the appointment – or she should have informed me).I had mistakenly hoped that they would just
submit to medical aid.I had not one
drop of cash on me, and therefore I asked her if it would be okay if I did an
EFT, once I got home.I wasn’t going to
do a runner, I just asked for leniency until I reached home again.And then quite unsympathetically, she simply
said “no”.Just like that.And continued to stare at me
expectantly.How rude!

I quickly phoned Grant, and once
I explained my dilemma to him and he picked the phone up, after he’d dropped it
on the floor (it was the shock, you see), he told me that I could swipe his
card.Food, wasn’t so important for the
rest of the month after all.And then,
when I once more approached the receptionist, there was another patient in
front of me, also going through the same motions.And this brave lady, actually managed to ask
whether the doctor charged medical aid tariffs.And you know what that receptionist said?She said, that there was no longer such a
thing as medical aid tariffs.That they weren’t
even sure what the medical aid tariffs were.Basically , in short, the impression was that they just didn’t
care.Trivialities like excessive costs
to patients, certainly did not concern them.

Personally, I find this
shocking.It is callous and unfeeling
and completely and utterly gluttonous.Shameless in fact.I don’t
dispute that a dermatologist, or any doctor for that matter, is an educated
medical professional.An expert in his
field.But is this not rather
exorbitant?An abuse of patient’s
needs?They have us strapped over a
barrel, completely at their mercy.And
they’re milking it for sure.On the odd
occasion, I do enjoy a spot of number crunching.This guy has the potential to earn
R2 400 per hour.Working a mere 8
hour day, because he indulges in lunch, he could earn a potential R19 200
per day.Given a 20 day month, allowing
for weekends, he can pull in R384 000 a month.Not too bloody shabby if you ask me.I understand that some consultations could
cost more, depending on what he has to do.And then, quite predictably, he also sells a variety of skin care
products and treatments too.And would
you believe that he’s booked up – two months in advance!!!People are literally lining up outside his
door!

Fair enough, while some people
were partying and jolling in their youth, he was studying instead.I get it.I really do.But teachers also
study and they don’t get paid this well.Nursing staff also study, working shocking hours, sometimes under awful
conditions, and do they get these benefits?

The dermatologist guy is really,
really nice.In fact I like him a
lot.I’m just not entirely sure if I six-hundred-bucks
like him, if you know what I mean.I’m
sure Luke’s skin will soon look marvellous.He gave me a script for some medicinal magic.And would you believe it, but a follow up
consultation is required in another two months’ time.How very, very convenient.

The thing is this.He’s not saving my child’s life, and I
certainly mean no disrespect when I say this.He’s not a cardio-thoracic surgeon, fixing broken hearts.He’s not an orthopaedic surgeon, fixing
broken bones.He’s not even an
orthodontist, fixing broken teeth.He’s
a friggin SKIN DOCTOR!!!Chances are,
that apart from the odd patient with melanoma’s and the like, he spends a
sizeable portion of every day looking at teenage spots.

And just of late, I know how much
a cardio-thoracic surgeon charges for a consultation – R650.And an orthopaedic surgeon – R500.And an orthodontist – R860 (but that’s for a
whole month and we can go as often as we like in that month).So how come this guy is charging
comparatively more?Is it not
ridiculous?And just to prove a point, I
phoned my medical aid.And take a wild
stab at the recommended consultation fee?That would be a mere R303.He
should be charging less than the others, not more.

I’m really not prone to
whinging.I promise.But this did strike me as rather
abusive.But then again, I do value his
assistance and his help.And yes, in two
months’ time, we’ll probably go back.

Which brings me back to my
earlier statement as to Amber’s prospective future husband.A hot surfer dude, would bring nothing in the
bag for me.No side benefits at all.Well, apart from the obvious eye candy of
course.And let’s face it – eye candy is
nice, it just doesn’t pay the bills.Now
if Amber marries a dermatologist, the benefit scale would most certainly tip in
my favour.Not only will my daughter
gain a husband who is able to care for her rather well, financially.Chances are, he would be able to care rather
well for his darling wife’s family too.In fact, perhaps I could even squeeze him for a little holiday house of
my own.

And finances aside, I suspect I
would remain youthful looking forever more.He would fix my pigmentation chop-chop.Bags under the eyes?Consider
them gone!And he’d be able to Botox me
into wrinkle-free oblivion.I’d look
perpetually young.Simply marvellous
darling.Marvellous!

And here’s the thing.If I managed to gain some youthful good
looks, I might just be able to bag myself a hot young surfer dude of my own.

Therefore, starting on Monday, I
shall compile a list of all educational institutions providing courses in
Dermatology.Chances are Amber’s future
husband is studying there already.Probably a good idea for me to start interviewing prospective applicants
already…..

3 comments:

Touching a nerve here for me! Mind blowing! Especially when you compare what we earn per hour and our increases don't keep up with the medical aids increments either! ! My dentist charged me a R500 LEVy ( also a very matter of fact SURPRIZE!) nogal for root canal,and could not comment or care if I could claim it back from the medical aid!