Tuesday, April 19, 2011

In Dreams and in Summers there are no Impossibilities

Barely endured acquaintances, we are gathered here today in the sight of three out of four security cameras and in the face of this enslaved Mongolian staff, to join together a Fedora and a Cigarette in a gossip cloud of sexual association based on snide assumptions and outright lies, in which human beings are unfairly represented by half-assed inanimate metaphors; which is an honorable estate because at least we think they’re getting some, instituted of Slumlog on The Internet, in the time of one man’s astounding innocence for his age, signifying unto us the utterly baffling union that is betwixt the Red Room and its patrons; which shady estate Sonny adorned and beautified with his mop and bucket and red rope lights that he wrought at Overstock.com, and is commended of St. Shawndhi to be honorable among all men partaking in secret premarital hokey-pokey; and therefore is not by any to be corrupted by Beer Goggles or Oxygen Deprivation, or taken in hand without first locking the bathroom door; but reverently, discreetly, at least thinly veiled, repressed in public, retaining the awkwardness of not exactly remembering what happened last night, and in the fear of Slumlog, and duly considering the causes for which this gossip cloud was ordained.One was the procreation of horrible jokes, to be brought forth in the fear and nurture of Slumlog.It was also ordained for the mutual bar patrons, confusion and bewilderment that the one ought to have for the other, with full beer or empty; into which shady estate these two unbecoming accessories present come now to be joined.Therefore, if any other unbecoming accessory can show just cause why they may not be imaginarily joined together, let it speak now, or else hereafter hold its beer in a Thirst Aid Helmet ™.