Latest Taliban leader Khan Said is said to have masterminded the repression, torturing and murder of any innocent people he didn’t like the look of, especially women and schoolgirls, because his made up imaginary friend told him to.

“The Taliban has got nuttin’ to to wid taking drugs or the drugs trade” said Said, adding “The world would be glorious if the Taliban ruled it. If I die, there’s always those virgins in heaven.” as he shot another few schoolgirls in the head for fun to impress his fellow-ignorant male buddies.

Meanwhile, high in the sky, drone operatives are monitoring his every move, waiting for the command to strike.

“It’s more than just a job” said Senior Drone Operative Wayne ‘Pearly’ Gates, official ‘Blast The Bastards’ world champion “keeping the world safe from those ignorant nutters gives me a warm feeling inside.”

“I don’t know why, but every time I drone assassinate a Taliban leader, listening to ‘Then He Kissed Me’ by The Crystals helps me concentrate.”

“From what I understand, there will never be peace, so roll on the next one.” Rubs hands in anticipation as command comes through.

“I would not like to be the current or future leader of the Taliban right now” said Wayne.

Problem:
- each drone costs 16.9 million dollars.
- There are millions of potential Taliban leaders.
Can 'Merica afford to keep killing them this way? Perhaps they ought to contract out the job to China.
Have some stars for the updated piece.