Yesterday was Lady Gaga's 26th birthday. She celebrated by perspiring a lot with her closest friends. No, she didn't host a marathon dance party inside a space ship rocketing to Mars, filled with aliens, exotic animals, and men with extremely sculpted torsos. Instead she and her friends got wild and crazy by riding on stationary bikes.

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That's right. She held a "private spin class party" at SoulCycle in West Hollywood. A mysterious source reveals a good time was had by all: "Her friends filled the studio, and they had a blast." And Gaga got into the groove by making a special music selection: "She requested [Bruce Springsteen's] 'Thunder Road' because it's one of her favorite songs." Cool, cool. Then her mother cooked her dinner and they ate together as a family. But, listen, it might have been a chill birthday, but one of her "pals" really doesn't want you to worry that Gaga was disappointed: "She's been ridiculously busy, and has been working herself very, very hard. But everyone had the most amazing time [yesterday]!" Still, I bet a low-key party with Lady Gaga is probably about ten times more exciting than a super crazy party with anyone else. [Us]

Lindsay Lohan is finally a free woman. An elated LiLo worked her new face into a smile as judge Stephanie Sautner ended her nearly two years of constant court supervision today. Saunter gave Lindsay some parting advice, "You need to live your life in a more mature way, stop the nightclubbing and focus on your work." And Lindsay expressed her gratitude: "I just want to say thank you for being fair. It's really opened a lot of doors for me." So where does the 25-year-old go from here? Well, she's been cleared to film in Canada after all, so presumably she'll throw herself into her role as Liz Taylor, and after that well, we'll just have to see, won't we? [Yahoo!, TMZ]

Speaking of reformed train wrecks, Elton John has given a pretty frank assessment of where he'd be now if he hadn't gotten sober: "I could have so easily ended up like Whitney Houston. It's a miracle I didn't. Because I'm sure I did as much cocaine as she ever did." Obviously John is glad he ended up on another, cleaner path: "I would not be the person I am today [if I hadn't]. I wouldn't have [my son] Zachary, [my husband] David [Furnish]. I wouldn't have anything. I'd probably be dead." Well, I think I can speak for all of us (except possibly his bitter enemy Madonna) when I say we're very glad things ended up so well for him. [E!]

For those of you who long for the days when Katie Couric eased you into the day as your morning show anchor, you'll be excited to hear that she's going to guest host ABC's Good Morning America all next week. She's filling in for Robin Roberts, and she'll be going head-to-head against her former co-anchor Matt Lauer and the rest of the Today Show crew. Perhaps they can arrange a kind of Sharks vs. Jets street battle in Times Square to determine once and for all who owns the morning. [AP]

It's the moment we've all been waiting for: Julia Roberts has given her opinion on Botox, and she's not a fan. She says,

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I tried the Botox one time and was permanently surprised for a couple months, and it was not a cute look for me. My feeling is, I have three children who should know what emotion I'm feeling at the exact moment I'm feeling it. Like, that is critical.

Watching for a subtle shift in your mother's face is definitely the best way to tell if it's time to high-tail it out of the room, so Botox might actually be an effective parenting aid since your kid would never be able to read you—but then they'd probably also need therapy for four decades or so. Either way, Julia may not like it, but she doesn't care what you do with your face: "If you want your chin on your forehead I'm not one to [judge]. If that's going to bring you joy, I'm all for it." Yesss. Bring on the chinheads, people! [Digital Spy]

You guys, Us is urging us to get much more worked up about the news that Michelle Williams and Jason Segel are now an item. Apparently we're not taking this as seriously as Michelle and Jason are. Says a source, "They're much more serious than everybody thinks . . . They're really happy!" Oh my God, well, we were all pretty happy to hear they'd hit it off, but it looks like we're going to have to turn our level of excitement up to a 10, which means we have to scream-shriek at all times when discussing their romance!!! (I'm exhausted already.) [Us]

Need something to stare at for the next four hours, why not take in everything Snooki has going on in this "official" engagement photo she posted on Twitter, along with the words "My FIANCÉ!!!" [Radar]

Hold onto your hats, teens from the late 90s, it looks like 98 Degrees is going to reunite for a tour this summer. You'd better start feverishly praying now that Nick Lachey, Drew Lachey, Jeff Timmons, and Justin Jeffre are coming to a city near you—and maybe if you're really lucky Vanessa Lachey and her baby bump will tag along too. [E!]

Charlie Sheen was on the Today Show this morning and addressed the long national nightmare that was his epic meltdown. (Remember that? WINNING! Uhhh.) He basically laughed it off and said his behavior was "cringeable," but that "looking like a real insane wordsmith was fine." Oh, is that how you looked? Anyway, he's back working but he says he does still have a drink now and then, despite that being pretty much a terrible idea for any recovering addict. It's anyone's guess whether he can stay out of the "cringeable" zone for the long haul. [Radar]

Ryan Seacrest had to have a little surgery to remove some scar tissue on a tendon in his elbow, but he is doing fine, resting comfortably, and remains as pretty as ever, no doubt. [E!]

Here is the first picture of a not-pregnant Hillary Duff that we've seen in what seems like a decade. [Us]

Wilmer Valderrama and Minka Kelly may or may not be on a trip to Australia together. They also may or may not be dating. And you may or may not care. [E!]

It's been announced that newly pregnant Tori Spelling is going to have a new reality competition show on TLC. It's called Craft Wars, and I'll give you seventeen guesses what it's about. (Answer: Crafters in battlezzzzzzz.) Does the world really need another "Wars" show? Does Tori Spelling really need another project, especially another television show? I'll stop there before I accidentally ask if Tori Spelling really needs another baby. [HuffPo]

Down a bottle of vodka with excitement, because Kate Flannery, aka Meredith on The Office, is going to have her own standup series called StandUp In Stilletos for TV Guide Network. [HuffPo]

Did you ever watch that show Raising Sextuplets? Regrettably I did, so I can say that I am legitimately happy to report that Jenny Masche, the mother of said sextuplets, has married her boyfriend Levi McClendon. Let's hope he's a lot better for her than the father of her children was. [People]

James Van Der Beek and his wife Kimberly have revealed the name of their new baby son. Despite my attempts to convince them (aka mentioning it once in Dirt Bag) that they should name the child Dawson Creek Van Der Beek, they decided to go with Joshua instead. [E!]