It's really going to depend on what your per person price threshold is. Wilshire Restaurant on Wilshire Blvd. along the eastern edge of Santa Monica comes to mind (especially the patio) but the cost could be an issue for a first date.

i find Bandera to be noisy regardless of the music situation, it's the acoustics in there. i've been there on nights when the jazz trio isn't there and they had a guy playing the piano...which could theoretically be nice, but his playlist wasn't exactly soothing & romantic ;)

I like Nook, in the back corner of a minimall off Santa Monica Blvd. east of Barrington. The two-tops along the wall are close enough so you interact if neighbors are seated alongside. Great food, not too expensive. Great choice -- if my date saw the strengths of Nook, we'll get along.

Nobody's mentioned the Penthouse, in the Huntley Hotel on 2nd in SM, not for food, but drinks are good and the view is killer, especially if trying to impress. If they press you to book a table, you can always just order apps, not that expensive.

Casa del mar has a pretty hotel lounge, again, not inexpensive, tho. I would also second Wilshire, nice patio.

Also, Whist at the Viceroy on Ocean is gorgeous, and I believe you can get a table on the patio for just drinks.