“Para kang parol sa aking bubong.” What does it mean? Read Ade & RJ’s review of Merry Christmas Na by 1:43 so we can understand.

It’s no secret that however wonderful the internet may be, 90% of the things in it are crap. This crap that comprises a huge part of the internet ranges from the mediocre to horrible. In fact, anyone who’s spent more than three hours on it will be desensitized from shitty stuff for life. However, every now and then, something comes out that is so absolutely stupid and bad that it loops back to being hilarious. We feel a bit of our soul dying as we enjoy watching the worst humanity has to offer, but we can’t just stop.

This video, by Filipino boy band 1:43, is one of those things.

Joining me in this review, where we analyze the video and reflect its implication in OPM’s future, is Comicgasm co-editor and, well, owner (he just lets me write shit for free), RJ.

RJ: Dude, 90% of the internet is porn. Why aren’t we talking about porn? We should talk about porn. Oh yeah, before we start embarrassing ourselves, I would like to say that I was FORCED into doing this! :E Why would you even do this, Ade? WHY? D:

Ade: A few hours ago I caught myself humming the chorus of that song as I was walking home. And I was bobbing my head to it. I didn’t want to be the only one with that horrible song in my head, so I looked for someone to share the pain with, RJ. And you’re a funny writer.

RJ: You’re just taking advantage of my kind-hearted demeanor. And maybe this is your way of taking revenge for all those times I sent you pics of hot women with penises.

Ade: I know that k-pop is really huge right now. I mean, I see it everywhere, I hear it everywhere, and apparently there were concerts filled to the brim with hot hormonal women throwing their panties away at a moment’s notice. I believe that it’s because the singers are, well, hot. They’re probably talented, but their music is mostly mediocre, the lyrics are unintelligible (YOU MEAN I HAVE TO LEARN A WHOLE NEW LANGUAGE?), and there’s really nothing appealing about the songs. But throw in the Wondergirls…

Ade: … and I find myself watching that accursed “Nobody” video on loop for hours on end.

RJ: I never really cared about k-pop until very recently. Mostly because of one video that has 5 petite korean girls shaking their butts every 30 seconds. And, after getting their discography; I never really got into the other songs until I saw the other videos, coz they’re all shaking and dancing and being HOT and all. The music is like an added bonus. Just like all pop music, except in Korean. And with hot Korean girls. Dancing. Yeah.

Ade: So, I believe the reason k-pop has a following in these parts is that artists themselves sell. Not, you know, the music. The reason I’m writing that long-ass discourse is because I’m really trying hard to find a way to sugarcoat the fact that 1:43’s song sucks. But I can’t, so I’m just saying it. It fucking sucks.

I thought cold December nights again ang gift ni Santa para sa akin

RJ: Dammit, I thought we were gonna talk about k-pop and and Korean chicks in general? D:

Ade: No, we’re here to talk about a bunch of guys wearing their pants so tight they have cameltoes.

RJ: Yes, Ade. I needed to see that. D:

Ade: So, what do you think of the lyrics? They’re so fucking profound. I mean, lines like “Para kang parol sa aking bubong,” make absolutely no sense, yet they burn themselves in your mind and you go crazy trying to understand what the hell that means. I seriously can’t figure out if the broken taglish was done on purpose to sound like it was written by a Korean who only had Google Translate at his disposal or if it was indeed written by a Korean who had only Google Translate at his disposal.

My heart so very happy umaga hanggang gabi

RJ: DUDE, one of them is named Yuki. YUKI. How gay is that? And GOLD? Really? Did they really choose their stage names? What if those are their real names? Anjo, Kim, Yuki (LOL) and Gold! And together, they are.. ONE FOUR THREE! Oh god, why are we doing this again?

Ade: … man, that picture above is exactly how my face looked like when I read their names. Here’s a question: is the video out of sync with the audio or are they just really sucky at lipsyncing? I don’t think it’s technical, because if you mute it and remove 1:43 and focus on the hot girls, the video’s actually well-made. Well, anything is going to end up well-made if you take 1:43 out of the picture, but I doubt the lipsync snafu’s a post-prod error.

RJ: Nah, they’re just trying too hard to smile while lipsynching. WAIT, THE SONG HAS LYRICS?

Ade: Wait, have you noticed the dancing? I’m not a fan of Rain, but I think he’s a great dancer. Heck, he faced off against Colbert in a dance-off and that makes him awesome in my book. 1:43, on the other hand, aren’t even trying. I’ve seen epileptics pull off better moves while in the middle of a seizure.

Tayo’y mangagsiawit ng magagandang himig coz you and I we’re pag-ibig

RJ: Rain dancing? Check this out! He even wears a Saiyan armor from Dragon Ball Z! Here, have a GIF.

Ade: Anyway, my point is, if you’re going to be in a fucking boy band, you need to dance. Heck, even Steps had better coordination than these guys. Don’t tell us that they’re just a singing group, because you don’t make a “singing group” USE FUCKING AUTOTUNE FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING SONG.

RJ: Maybe if they had made a slightly decent song instead of an incomprehensible, taglish gibberish of a song, the music video could have been less-horrible! And I’m not sure if they know that they’re using “pacute’” choreography stolen from similar to FEMALE k-pop groups.

Ade: Anyway, if this is going to start a trend in local music similar to the way Lito Camo made double-meaning novelty songs a mainstream thing for half a decade, we’re fucked.

RJ: Remember when local TV stations tried to ride on the k-pop wave by making local versions? P-pop? I’m not sure who’s behind it all, but somewhere out there..someone is laughing. At us. They gets to troll an entire country (and some internet communities) and potentially get rich(er) at the same time? GENIUS!

Para kang parol sa aking bubong

Ade: All you need to do is to find a bunch of oriental-looking kids who don’t mind losing their dignity, write a crappy song aping k-pop, complete with the broken grammar, and you’re set for life! I suddenly miss The Sexbomb Dancers for some reason.

RJ: Yeah, I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Ade. I don’t even know why we’re doing this in the first place! I could be watching KARA shake their bums right now, but you made me watch this stupid video! :E

Sarap ng monita la-Christmas bonita angel ka sinta

Ade: If you wake up tomorrow humming that song, then my work here is done.

RJ: God dammit, Ade! From now on, I won’t specify if the pics I send you are real girls or not anymore! :E

76 Comments

sasa

It's hard to accept that there are people who will do everything to earn even it could create a not-so-good/shitty result. Dress like Koreans, act, dance and sing like them, I'm not a fan of K-Pop but I can accept them more than Pinoy imitating them.

It's hard to accept that there are people who will do everything to earn even it could create a not-so-good/shitty result. Dress like Koreans, act, dance and sing like them, I'm not a fan of K-Pop but I can accept them more than Pinoy imitating them.
This blog has been posted last year pa, and I hope that I will never ever hear any songs from you 143. Stands for I HATE YOU? HAHAHA
My recent post Upgraded version

Kay

Been to their FB fan page. Apparently they are JUST a singing group hence the distinction between OPM pop and Ppop. The former, possibly, containing Ppop aspirants who failed the dancing requirements. Their administrator said they didn't dance and that we would find out why soon. My first thought was,"because they can't?" 😐

Ethan

What I mean is, people could say anything they want to say.

But they do not realize they are not really part of something but they just wanna be in it, like GATECRASHERS, LIKE ENTERING A PARTY WITHOUT CONSENT. That's the worst idea the HUMAN KIND had been invented to do. Cause they want food, or they just want to throw the party down.

Ethan

Well so much, ppop gets lame. But not so bad after all. Trying to be TAGLISH is trying to be HANGENG. Funny but why do you not always find to see that they are just the same. Mas masarap lang ang tunog koreano coz its imported. I remember my SOCIOLOGY class when my professor says that FILIPINOS are XENOCENTRICS. I remember my FILIPINO class when my professor says that KOREANS are mabaho.

The same way as DITCH IN THE OTHERS GARDEN OR DITCH YOUR OWN IF THE OTHERS GARDEN IS AS CLEAN AS GREEN.

Abby

Jessica

Dude, WHAT THE HELL?!

I feel raped and abandoned in an uninhabited place because of this video. I trusted you when you said "i figured you'd like this sort of thing", and to my horror! The video… THE F*CKIN' VIDEO IS UNBEARABLE! My sister locked herself up in her room and told me never to come near her again when I showed this to her.

WTF is this shit?! And the worst part is, since this is a seasonal song, this will do a McArthur every gudamn Christmas season, year after year! Suddenly, Pasko Na Sinta Ko just became a little bit tolerable.

sdfasd

I wanted to watch it just so I'll know where the hate is coming from but after reading the comments, I'm thankful I didn't hit the play button too early. Haha.

Seriously, I wonder why girls are going gaga over k-pop boybands! I even have a guy friend posting shoutouts about it. Well, maybe he's gay. And for a Filipino group to try to be like them is just so freakin' annoying.