Will is being punished for sending me all kinds of "extras" with his bARTer Sauce trade item.

He always does this and always gets punished. He never learns. This time his punishment is that he has to "ghost write" six stories for Tim & Victoria who were kind enough to trade me six awesome items but are so busy unpacking that they don't have time to write six Sauce stories.

Victoria and Time were moving. Big time. Getting rid of lots of art and moving away. This is one of those Sauce scenarios where it just may be that someone is much more interested in having The Sauce come over and haul away the stuff that they don't want as opposed to really loving The Sauce. That's okay. Sometimes that's the only way good stuff ever gets into The Sauce. When people are freaking pressed for time.

Nik's Story that arrived with the Glitter Cats:

A friend invited me to one of the members of an industrial band called Gridlock's Birthday. He told me on his 21st birthday his friends thought it'd be fun to take him to a 25cent peep show parlor. All he had was a 5 so when he got change he had this almost uncontrollable pile of quarters cupped in his hand. So he's putting the quarters in and watching the show when some slip out and fall to the ground. The stripper stops and waves her arms in a "No! Don't do it!" fashion. When he looks down he sees the floor is caked in men's "leavings", so much so one of the quarters stood upright.

bARTer Sauce would like to add: That's a horrible story Nik. Not in the normal way that your stories are horrible -- this one is horrible in a totally new way. Congratulations!

Nik's Story that arrived with the Glitter Cat:

I have a corpse named Lucky that I make everyone pose with when they come over. He was traded to be by Kevin Klemm of Girls and Corpses magazine. He's named Lucky because he was the leprechaun corpse from the March issue. I dream of one day luring Rosalie out to California so I can add to my collection of photos called "Victims of Lucky Harms".

Rebecca's Story Submitted with Space Aliens in Ship:

There is proof they are here! This tiny baby space creature was found in the yard by my dogs. I heard them barking early one morning and went out side to investigate. We have surmised that this 15" aircraft has traveled thousand of miles to get to Seattle.......

strangely enough, there is a device for hanging this on the wall. The glitter hair and interior of the space cove suggests an alien society attracted to bright shiny objects.

Kelly hauled the "Toylet" to the May First Thursday Art Walk.

We've been trying to get together and make the trade all week because she's had it rolling around in her car. It never worked out, so she had to live with a toy-covered toilet rockin' around in the back of her art car. Poor Kelly. She did get to take "Parisite" home, so I think she'll be okay.

We all remember Lynn, correct?

Lynn, you remember everyone?

Good.

Okay, I may have tried to lead you all to beieve that I was afraid of Lynn. That she had threatened me in order to get me to trade her some Shower Art. Now, I must admit, it not completely true. Well, not all of it is true. You see, I am afraid of Lynn. For sure. No doubt. But not because she threatens me. No.