an almost daily updated ramblings of a "Not really Sane, Not Really Sorry" Wisconsin Entertainer

HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN:

HELLO FROM EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN - city of big bottoms and small minds.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

FAVRE COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM JACKIE ROBINSON

This morning, as I watched an HBO Sports special on the history of the Brooklyn Dodgers (my favorite team when I was a kid) while discussing the illustrious career of Jackie Robinson, the narrator talked about Robinson's relationship with owners Branch Rickey and Walter O'Malley. Rickey eventually was bought out by O'Malley and when Robinson reached the ripe old age of thirty eight, O'Maley traded him to - of all teams - cross town rivals The New York Giants.

But Jackie Robinson, always a class act, refused to report to the New York Giants but instead retired and took a job with the coffee company Chock Full O' Nuts.

I couldn't help think of the present situation with Brent - er - Brett Favre - who is, after announcing retirement so as not to "hurt" the New York Jets, once again doing his LOOK AT ME routine which has brought on "Favre Watch" on the NFL channel.

I will always look back upon and respect Favre's great career with Green Bay but his antics of the past two years show him to be a classless hillbilly who only looks out for number one.

It is still not to late for him to save his legacy in Wisconsin - but if he chooses to come back as a Minnesota Viking, I will be wishing him all the worst.

Come on, Brett, show a little class and be a man of your word. Two false retirements? Pathetic.

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What Kids Know About the Ocean......

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island . If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne , age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like EmilyRichardson . She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.(Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men, a woman and some pots and comes back with crabs. ( Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers at night. (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my wily small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast.. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was makingdinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good timeto tell her mother what she wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for mybirthday." Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. Shehad gotten into trouble at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if shethought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, ofcourse, thought she did. Carol's mother , being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect on her behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God and tellhim why she deserved a bike for her birthday. Little Carol stomped up the steps to her room and sat down to write God a letter. LETTER 1: Dear God: I have been a very good girl this year and I would like a bikefor my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Carol

Carol knew this wasn't true. She had not been a very good girlthis year, so she tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2: Dear God: This is your friend Carol. I have been a pretty good girl this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you, Carol

Carol knew this wasn't true either. She tore up the letter and started again.

LETTER 3:

Dear God: I know I haven't been a good girl this year. I am very sorry.I will be a good girl if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.. Thank you, Carol

Carol knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going toget her a bike. By now, she was very upset. She went downstairs and toldher mother she wanted to go to church. Carol's mother thought her planhad worked because Carol looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner," her mother said. Carol walked down the street to the church and up to thealtar..

She looked around to see if anyone was there. She picked up a statue ofthe Virgin Mary, slipped it under her jacket and ran out of the church,down the street, into her house, and up to her room. She shut the doorand sat down and wrote her letter to God.

LETTER 4: I GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

1 comment:

Nothing wrong with multiple retirements. Forrest Gregg "retired' something like 6 yrs in a row, coming back each time. Don Hutson retired several times as well, coming back each time. The last time, he came back on the day of the 1st game, missing all of training camp. Good for them. And good for Favre if he comes back w/ the Vikes and beats GB twice. Will make for a great story.

Thoughts to Ponder

* Men have 2 emotions: hungry, horny. If you see a gleam in his eye . . make him a sandwich.

* Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day. teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe even years.

* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

* Take a lesson from the weather; it pays no attention to criticism.

* In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal.

* Life is like a jar of jalepeno peppers: what you do today may burn your ass tomorrow.

And finally . . .

* Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

Heckler Smack-down:

I was working a club in Mount Prospect, Illinois, and had just finished singing "The Vasectomy Song". As the applause subsided, a black man seated right in front of the stage said: "Hey, man . . . do you want to see my scars?"

"Well," I replied, "we wouldn't want to spoil the Black Myth, now would we?"

my favorite person

This week, my favorite person is Kurt Weber, a former student, and always a close friend.

Today's Quote:

Therapy is expensive . . .

Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap.

You choose.

Teabaggers in Action

Words of Wisdom

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.