December 29, 2003

I’m confused. What is it called?

Now he tells me! Mike posted this today. After I’d sent out more than 150 End of The Year letters calling it my Blog!
No wonder people were shaking their heads.

Well, whatever you call it,
this is a great vehicle for expressing oneself.
And, for a novice to learn more about the computer.
It can be fun and entertaining.
It can be frustrating and time consuming.

One more item on the never-ending To Do List.
Something we allow to possess us.
A diversion, which may keep us from taking the time to come home to ourselves.

December 14, 2003

I CHOSE HER. Tell of your love. Speak it often.

My mother was a good woman. A good wife & daughter .... A giving sister and a treasured friend. I can see now that she was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by responsibility and too much on her plate. She wanted much and had been disappointed.

She yelled ... she unloaded. We didn’t understand. We were children and felt the sting of her words and the lash of her anger. We didn't realize that she was tired.

We loved her and were loved in return. Blind, we didn't see it. Our mother didn’t speak of her love in words. She demonstrated it by her deeds.

Both wounded and spoiled, I had no understanding of her burden nor could I see her true nature. I admired her, but was often embarrassed. I respected her, but wanted her to be different. I wanted her to love me and didn’t realize that she already did.

I wanted her to see me, but my own vision was clouded.
I wanted her acceptance and I think she wished for my understanding.

My mother didn’t seem to know how to control the anger & the rage which boiled within her. But, maybe she exerted great strength just to hold it down. She struggled with life. She fought a good fight. And at the end, started to put down her burden and accept what was offered.

My mother was smart and talented. It seemed that she could do anything. She was informed and interested, neither bored nor boring. She tried new things, her mind always open to new ideas. She was generous and her laughter was like music. This complex woman exhibited joy as well as the darker emotions.

The Fire of Life shimmered within her, and people were drawn to the Flame. But sometimes we were burned and lived with the scars of the burning. We were formed by her moods and our lack of perception.

Only now can I recognize the love for what it was … and remember multitude examples of her loving kindness. She showed her devotion in many ways. But only now does the truth unfold before my eyes. I can look back and see the ‘happy childhood”.

I wish I had known and had been more aware.
I might have held the experience differently.

It is clearer now and I know Who to thank for restoring my sight. Thank You!

December 11, 2003

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY!

December 10, 2003

MY WISH LIST

This is what I really, really want for Christmas.
The list is kind of long.
I'm serious.

Put a note in a box telling me which one you chose.
You can wrap it up in shiny paper and pop on a bow.
I would be delighted. :-)

Here is the list in no special order:

A donation to any of the following: (I don't have to know the amount.)

1. Heifer International.
This organization helps people all around the world to become self reliant. You can help buy people animals that will bring income to families and villages. Give cows to honeybees. Or, buy a share by joining with others.

I asked, "Did you have a coin in your mouth?
"Yes."
"How did the coin get in your mouth?"
Zoe whispers, "I put it there."

I commented that her "Daddy just wants to keep her safe".
Zoe asserts, "I can take care of my self!"
I sigh. She isn't even eight!

Zoe continues, "Nana, Daddy hurt my feelings."
I asked, "What did he do?"
"He said he was going to turn me into a 'goon'.
"Oh, were you frightened?"
"Yes."
I tell her that "her Daddy won't really do that. He Can't."

She tells me again that "Daddy said he would turn me into a goon."
And reiterates, "He hurt my feelings."
I say, "Daddy shouldn't threaten you."

December 7, 2003

The Name

My favorite name for God has always been: I AM WHO AM.
Or simply, I AM.

I'm not sure when this name came into my consciousness. It might have been at the time I took a one year class at UCLA titled ‘The Bible as Literature'. We read the entire King James Version from cover to cover. The course also included the Apocrypha, the books which the compilers of this translation chose to exclude.

The professor who taught this course was fantastic. He spoke of the differences in wording between this version of the Great Book and other translations. He must have been a biblical scholar and whose class I was lucky enough to find. ...Can't remember his name. It was a long time ago.

He was one of the few teachers who seemed to even be aware that I was there. He knew my name, even though there were more than 100 students in the class.

I always sat in the front row. Not a disciplined student, this was one of the few classes in which I received an A. This professor made the subject come alive.

He made us aware of how, as the Bible was translated from one language to another, the meaning of certain words changed. Which in essence, often changed the entire idea or concept.

Around that time, I also took a year course on the 'Religions of The World' and flatly rejected the ideas presented by Eastern belief systems. The idea of rebirth or reincarnation seemed absurd to me. The idea that God was not separate from us seemed strange. This did not fit into my pre-existing parameters.

At that time, I learned there were other Sacred Scriptures. From many traditions around the world. It is only now that I can see the great truths expressed in all of them. That in reality the great Truths are expressed in as many ways as there are people.

I AM WHO AM encompasses the All. Like most raised in Western Society, I have a masculine image of God, and often refer to God as Him. But in my heart, there is the sense of Totality which encompasses the Divine Feminine.

My Spiritual Mother has told us that there has been and still is an imbalance in the world. Women around the world are still being treated as chattel. We must recognize the Feminine aspect of the Great God to restore this balance. Just as we must look at the imbalance between those who have and those who have not. We must work to toward a change.

December 5, 2003

Comments

December 4, 2003

Would it really hurt?

In the Daily Breeze today, an article written by Tom Chorneau discusses the problems our governor is facing in trying to cut the budget and maybe get it balanced. One of his team's major proposals is to borrow $15 billion dollars to bring in revenue. OK, so we will be more in debt.

Yet, even if we borrow this money, essential services such as education or other things upon which we all depend, will also have to be cut. And of course, those with the greatest need will pretty much be out of luck. But then they are just freeloaders anyway, aren’t they. By ignoring them, maybe the problems will just disappear. Right? But, for the grace of God....

Why not? What the heck, we might be paying less taxes.
Or at least, the most wealthy and privileged will be paying less taxes. Everything else will cost us more.
A young couple who is trying to buy their first home will be paying way more tax on their property than those who live in the identical house next door.

Parents will either constantly spend more time scrambling to help their local schools in fundraising attempts or pay out of pocket to get what is needed to teach their children. Or the schools will go with out.

Those who can afford it can always send their children to private school! Of course, then there is the problem of those pesky neighborhood kids who are not getting a good education and the mischief that this creates. But Of course there is an answer to that as well.

Those who can afford to do so, can move into a private gated community which provides for much of their own services. Their own parks and schools, their own paved and repaired streets, their own protection.

Yet, once and awhile, even these people will still have to venture out, for maybe a job or a trip to the airport, or to obtain some medical services that may not be available in their secure little community. And, in doing so, encounter the rest of us.

Well, maybe not. They could, of course, provide their own security detail and hope that all goes well.

This scenario may seem far fetched. But really, cutting services ends up costing us all much more then we save. This magnifies problems rather than bringing about remedies.

But that’s OK, isn’t it? We get to keep more of our earnings so we can buy more stuff that we don’t need. We can continue to waste, and pollute the environment in order to have more toys.

We can insulate ourselves. The only problem I can see with this, is that we still have to breathe the same air, we still need to have available clean water, and we may want to go somewhere else. But, who knows, maybe we will find an answer to that too.

Really folks, would it really hurt us to pay a bit more to insure the general good? There are more that 35 million people living in this Great State. Even the illegal aliens are working, and paying taxes too. …At jobs most of us wouldn’t take on a bet. We have the 5th largest economy in the world!

Isn’t it possible that those of us who could afford to do so could ante up a bit more. That is most of us. Would our kids really miss one more toy? Couldn’t we go with out one more Big Mac or VCR? Would it really change our life style that much? Would it really damage the economy to spend a bit more of our expendable income on the common good?

My bet is No! That, in that in spending a bit more in the right places, things would get better. We would end up with a better place to live and an expanded economy. We might just realized how privileged we are and think about the rest of the world.

December 3, 2003

???

December 2, 2003

Our civic duty

This evening Pete and I attended an open house held by our Congresswoman, Jane Harman. We decided that it was time.

The get-together was held in the nearby town of Wilmington. We expected that it would be a formal meeting with a question and answer period. Like us, there were many people who had never before attended one of these events. We noticed that a table was being set up with food. We didn’t realize that we were going to be fed.

The Congresswoman arrived, over an hour late, from a previous meeting that must have run long. The small room was full. Ms Harman walked in with her aides and shook some hands. Then, she gave a short speech and spoke briefly about the safety of our port and airport.

She also spoke of safety in the streets and of the importance of good educational policies. Apparently, a large local elememtary school of more that twelve hundred students, is setting new ground and doing fabulous things.

I remember that she reminded everyone to remember that most Muslims are peace loving people. I'm sure there was more, but mostly she was reassuring those in attendance that she is aware of the issues important to us. Did you know that she was being considered as a Vice Presidential nominee? I wasn't blown away.

There was no formal question and answer session. I was disappointed that it was not more of a town meeting, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. However, she remained available to speak to people individually. Pete handed her some paperwork about something he had intended to bring up. She asked for his card and said that her staff would look into it.

When she turned to me, I just introduced myself as a constituent, and said something of my concern about the new Medicare legislation. She had voted against this terrible bill and said that she regretted that they had been unable to push though much better legislation.

We were invited us all to eat the food that had been donated by a small local Mexican Restaurant, Camino de Guanajuato. The congresswoman then left with her aides to attend another meeting in El Segundo.

We met a few of the other attendees. People like us who had just decided to check it out. Some teachers with their students. Neighbors we had never met, one of which attended Narbonne High School with our boys. A few local business men were there just to network. A good mix of people, representative of the LA population. A polyglot, so to speak.

We ate dinner, and spoke with one or two more fellow citizens. People had come from all over the district. Kidn of cool. We got home just after six. The meeting was to begin at 4:00 PM

When I googled Jane Harman, I came across this neat site called I protest. When you link to his site, be sure to hit the candle. Very neat way to show links.

I am copying the quote he highlights. Here it is:

"When in despair I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won; there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall."
— Mohandas K. Gandhi

December 1, 2003

I STILL WANT A MAC!

OK. I don't care what anyone says. Macs are just easier and more user friendly than these darn PCs.
After nearly two years since starting to use this Dell,
and a costly class at CompUSA,
this is still harder.
More steps to do the same thing.
More to remember.
Even the way icons are displayed stinks.

If I wasn't a Mom, and wasn't afraid who might see this, I would be using a stronger word than "Darn"!

The good news is that it won't be that long before this computer is obsolete and I will have to get a new one. It will take some convincing not to go back to an Apple.