Killer gets a fate worse than prison – CHURCH!

AMERICA is a dangerous place filled with guns and cholesterol, but this time, they’ve gone too far. A seventeen year old kid has been found guilty of manslaughter, which isn’t unusual. So is he getting sent to prison? NO! Far, far worse than that!

HE IS BEING SENT TO CHURCH!

Tyler Alred was drink-driving and crashed his vehicle, which happened to kill his friend who was say in the passenger seat. Pretty grim stuff. An accident, the guilt, the bereavement and sentencing would be enough to crush the spirit of any human.

He’ll also be expected to finish high school and welding school, as well as submitting himself for regular alcohol, drug and nicotine tests, as well as taking part in a Victim Impact Panel programme. However, America is taking punishment too far by saying that Alred must turn up to church for the next decade.

A DECADE!

As anyone who has been in a church will know, each second lasts a lifetime, so sending him to church is like a gazillion life sentences or something. And what makes it a thousand times worse, churches are where all the sexual deviants hang around in their cassocks, thereby turning this ordinary, accidental killer, into a raging pervert!

AND god doesn’t exist! Alred may as well be forced to stand in the ball pit of a jumbo McDonald’s while asking Ronald for forgiveness.