Widow Only Wants Friends

DEAR ABBY Syndicated Columnist

May 1, 1995|DEAR ABBY

Dear Abby: I would like to give myself a 70th birthday party. I am a widow with no children, but I have many friends and a large family, and I would like to spend my birthday with them. I am planning a dinner party in the private dining room of a restaurant, and I don't want any gifts.

Is it proper to give oneself a party? How do I tell my guests not to bring gifts? - Party Giver

Dear Party: Of course you can give yourself a birthday party - it's a wonderful idea. On your invitation, add, "Your presence will be a cherished gift, and I respectfully request no other."

Dear Abby: I received an invitation from a neighbor's daughter on a Thursday evening for a church wedding two days later! The mother of the bride said the invitations had been sent a month earlier and that she had meant to deliver ours at that time, but it slipped her mind.

I had seen the bride-to-be and her mother several times in the last month, and neither of them mentioned the wedding. My husband and I did not go, neither did we send a gift. We felt that we were invited at the last minute because they wanted another gift. Do you think we were wrong? - Neighbors

Dear Neighbors: Probably not.

Dear Abby: "Fed Up in California" complained about guests who turned down dinner invitations. We have some friends who are wonderful people. They are great guests and can keep you entertained for hours. But eat at their house? Never! The place is a pigsty. Their three dogs and cat are covered with fleas. These people kill flies with a rolled-up newspaper and leave the little corpses lying wherever they fall - on countertops, tables, furniture, etc.

The bathroom has no door, and before you sit down to eat you have to clean the peanut butter and jelly smears off the chair seats.

So, maybe "Fed Up" should step back and take a good look at herself and her home. She may be in for a rude awakening. - Been There, Done That

Dear Been There: You say that these friends are "wonderful people."If you truly value their friendship, tell them why you consistently decline their dinner invitations. It would be one of the best gifts they ever received.