Thursday, April 17, 2014

It's Time To Put "The Slut" Back in Breakfast: Eggslut Los Angeles

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:About a month ago, I was in Los Angeles for a five day weekend to see several events at the 2014 spring Paley Fest. Since I used to live in Hollywood, I had wanted to stop at many of my favorite eateries. Because of this, I really didn't do any research on new restaurants. Because I was poor as a church mouse on a budget when I lived in Hollywood, most of my favorite eateries are very inexpensive ones.I do still subscribe to Los Angeles magazine … and perhaps that is how I first heard of Eggslut.Yes, that's not a typo. Eggslut. Egg plus slut equals Eggslut.From what I have heard, once upon a time there was a food truck called Eggslut. They served breakfast sandwiches and a dish called "The Slut." This dish became so popular (as many sluts tend to be), that the owners were able to set up a small diner-style stand at the downtown Los Angeles Grand Central Market.

When I used to live in Hollywood, I roamed the city pretty freely. However I will admit that I didn't spend a lot of time in downtown Los Angeles. Even bright and early on a weekend morning, downtown was a little more seedy than I would like to deal with on a normal basis. (And this coming from someone who lived next to an alley where the transvestite hookers would turn tricks.) There is parking at the Grand Central Market, but Lord if I could find it! I ended up at a paid parking lot down the street from the Angel's Flight funicular. As I got out of my rocking Ford Fiesta rental (Don't judge! I'm not made of money!), I handed the parking attendant some money. Three men were walking along the sidewalk. They all looked at me and one yelled out: "SHE'S SELLING DRUGS! SHE'S SELLING DRUGS!"Probably because of lack of caffeine and abundance of stupidity, I yelled back: "NOT TODAY!" The parking attendant didn't even blink. (Is it any wonder that I have two posts where I emphatically state that I am not an urban drug lord? Check them out here and here.) I walked a couple blocks over to the Grand Central Market and oohed and ahhed over the inexpensive produce. I forgot how cheap produce is at the markets in Los Angeles. I wanted to buy a bunch of ingredients and make something spectacular at my rented studio sublet, but I knew I was too lazy to actually cook while on vacation.I scanned across the stalls for Eggslut. I finally spotted it on the other side of the market. I had heard that Eggslut is very popular and can have very long lines. There were "only" about 12 people ahead of me ("waiting on the slut"), so I figured that was not too bad.

By now you may be asking yourself, "WHAT IS THE SLUT?" A very good question! Eggslut is primarily famous for two menu items - The Fairfax and The Slut. Although their egg-topped hamburger is quickly earning its own large fan base too.The Fairfax is a breakfast sandwich on a brioche bun. It is filled with soft scrambled organic eggs, fresh chives, cheddar cheese, caramelized onions and tangy Sriracha mayonnaise. The eggs are so soft and fluffy, it's like eating a spicy, oniony cloud. It is beyond delicious. I have never had eggs this soft, ever. It was like a feat of nature.Another popular breakfast sandwich is Eggslut's Bacon Egg and Cheese on a Brioche Bun (pictured below). It has an over easy egg and chipotle ketchup. Between the chipotle ketchup and the thick, hardwood smoked bacon - this is a smoky, delicious taste sensation.The brioche buns are firm enough to handle the large, packed sandwiches but light and delicate enough to give a sweet fluffy taste without overpowering. In other words, the perfect bread for this sandwich.Because I am a hedonistic glutton, I wish that Eggslut would serve a sandwich called "The Fairfax Slut" that combines the best of the Fairfax with the bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. It would be fluffy scrambled eggs, chives, bacon, cheddar cheese, caramelized onions, sriracha mayo and chipotle ketchup. And probably a coronary, but hey it would be a tasty way to go!

But the focus of this post was not supposed to be breakfast sandwiches, now was it? We were talking about sluts, right? The Eggslut's signature item "The Slut" is …

Eggslut's "The Slut"

A small glass jar that is filled with the creamiest, dreamiest, silkiest potato puree. An egg is cracked on top and is "coddled" lightly - the glass jar is put in a hot water bath to cook the egg. It's somewhat like poaching the egg but the egg itself is never in direct contact with the water. The soft-yolked coddled egg/potato puree is then served with buttered crostini. You can polk the soft egg yolk to flood the potato puree below with yolky, custardy goodness. You then spoon out the mixture, spread it on the crunchy crostini and you have slutty egg heaven. I have read some reviews that said there was too much potato puree in comparison to the amount of egg. I love potatoes in all forms, but I did agree. Not enough egg to balance out that much potato puree. I still ate it anyway! If your worst problem is that you have too much delicious potato puree, your life is still pretty spectacular. I loved "The Slut." The hot yolky goodness on the silky smooth potato puree was like slipping along satin sheets under the air conditioning on a balmy summer day. My only complaint was that the potato puree was salty and so was the crostini, so that when I ate the two together it was double salty. I'm not sure if "The Slut" is always this salty or if I just happened to have a chef that was gung ho on the seasoning that day. I'd like to go back and check it out.I love breakfast food. Sitting at a table amongst the food stands at the downtown Los Angeles Grand Central Market was tranquil and homey. I felt like the noisy world around me faded from view and it was just me, a girl and her slutty egg having a peaceful breakfast.If you are in or visiting Los Angeles, I highly recommend you get your promiscuous egg-loving nature on and visit Eggslut. Your tastebuds will be glad you did! P.S. After writing this post, I was craving eggs. I wonder why? I made a breakfast sandwich for dinner - fried soft-yolked egg, slice of Canadian bacon on a whole wheat English muffin. It was OK, but it was definitely no Eggslut. Sigh. I wonder if Eggslut delivers to Florida?