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The crap thing about being Kevin Bacon, it turns out, is that sometimes you find yourself six degrees from the wrong kind of guy. Such as, for instance, Bernie Madoff. We'd heard that along with Hollywood boldfacers Jeffrey Katzenberg and Steven Spielberg, Bacon and his wife, Kyra Sedgwick, lost money in Madoff's devastating $50 billion Ponzi scheme, and Bacon's rep, Allen Eichorn, confirmed it for us. "Unfortunately, your report is true," he wrote. He wouldn't elaborate on whether, as we'd heard, they'd lost everything except for their checking accounts and the land they own. "I can confirm that they had investments with Mr. Madoff — no further specifics or comment beyond that," he said, adding: "Please, let's not speculate or rely on hearsay."

But we can't help but speculate! Just think about it: Footloose money: gone. Wild Things residuals: gone. The Singles stash: obliterated. If there's anyone in Hollywood who didn't deserve this, it's Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick. Those two have worked. It sincerely pains us. At least they have The Closer to fall back on.