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This is a subreddit for memes that hit too close to home or are too real for subs like /r/meirl

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If any of you fucbois post mr skeltal you will not have good bones and calcium, and instead your post will be removed. Mr skeltal will not be thanked.

As he places the barrel on his lips he tastes the remnants of some smokey flavors from his last attempt. Tearfully he winks into the darkness and through his whimpers gets out a "Dude, that is money right there."

Gamori Ramsey strolled into Anteiku with his boyfriend Simonu Cowellu in tow. The relaxed warm atmosphere instantly evaporated to be replaced by a cold tense silence. Guy Fieri looked around at his friends in confusion.

Gamori Ramsay started monologuing while Simonu Cowellu fawned over his tall bodacious man. Guy Fieri knew that it was probably important but he found it difficult to pay attention while he was trying to eat. He had only just recently accepted his need to consume humans to survive, more specifically, the need to consume human fat.

Human lard was the lifeblood of the ghouls, without it they would die. Any food not containing human fat would cause them to be violently ill. So the ghouls congregated in places like Anteiku, where they could serve up human friendly food, as well as ghoul dishes. Food mixed together in a way so unnatural, so random that to an outsider it would give the impression they had just raided the dumpster of several fast food restaurants and cooked up the leftovers. Making sure to smother it in a healthy helping of human lard.

Diners, drive ins, and dives, for the most part, were fronts for large scale cannibalism.

Gamori was still talking, and his fellow ghouls were listening intently, poised as if ready to strike, while Guy Fieri focused on finishing his cannoli. Gamori fell silent, the only sounds in the Diner were Guy Fieri’s moist chewing as he frantically tried to slurp up the last of his cannoli.

Guy Fieri wasn’t sure what was happening, but everyone’s eyes were on him. Suddenly Gamori Ramsay lunged at him, and the next thing he knew he was in a dark room with a checkered floor.

Over the next weeks, Guy Fieri was forced to eat healthy, well prepared food at the ghoul’s compound. He could deal with the lettuce, but then that turned into pigs feet, or normal non fried chicken. It was horrible. Then, just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, Gamori Ramsey brought out the lamb sauce.

This was it, Guy Fieri could feel something about him changing. It was like turning into a ghoul all over again but worse. Using all of his strength, he burst out of his chains and fought Gamori.

It was an awesome, epic battle, full of slow mo, dramatic dialogue, and a bunch of censorship that covered up like half the screen. Guy Fieri was moving so fast, and with such grace that his fat was gelatinously gyrating.

But at least, Guy Fieri defeated Ramsey. Just before biting into his jugular he yelled “WHOSE THE LAMB SAUCE NOW, BITCH.”

After cannibalizing Ramsey, Guy Fieri escaped the compound and started the slow journey back to anteiku under the pale lunar moon light. But on the way there, he caught his reflection in a window. His frosted tips were gone.

“NOOOOOO!!!!” He screamed at the window. It was the window of a house, and happened to be the bedroom of the family’s youngest son, who woke up and stared in confusion at this disheveled screaming man with sad, normal looking brown hair.

The next day Touka found him, curled up in a room in Anteiku, a box clutched in his unconscious hand. His hair was crusted with something, furiously rubbed on his head. She picked up the box and saw a cartoon tiger on the front; Frosted Flakes.

I like to think that he actively knows and recognizes his style and ridiculousness for what it is, but also that he is trapped in it, because if he ever just got a normal haircut and started acting like a human being who exists outside of the 80's, he'd lose all his brand recognition and be unsellable. He actually seems like a nice dude in whatever interviews and stuff Ive seen him in.

A friend I knew in highschool tried to kill himself but he was a super anti gun guy so when he tried it he loaded the wrong kind of ammo into the gun and blew 4 of his fingers off and most of his teeth out instead. It also damaged his spine in his neck slightly so he has limited mobility in his good hand. Poor guy can't even tie a knot to hang himself. Not related just felt like sharing.

Jumpers (from surviving accounts obvs) apparently tend to regret it in midair, partly because the act of launching yourself off something is so freeing that it momentarily makes you realise the enormity of what you've done.

I mean the ammo doesn't come with the gun, if he's not a gun guy it can be easy to get the wrong kind. Certain types of shotgun ammunition (for the sake of simplicity lets call it the 'smaller ammo') works in shotguns which are capable of firing larger ammunition, but obviously not vice versa. If you buy ammunition that's too big for your gun, it might fit, but you can blow the bore/barrel completely off

Don't know what kind of gun he bought but i think he tried to force it in and the firing pin still fired. Round got lodged in the barrel halfway down amd blew up the barrel as well as the action and trigger assembly exploded removing his fingers.

But the guy presumably bought the gun to kill himself if he wasn't a gun guy. I may be making a wrong assumption here, but wouldn't he have bought the ammo and gun at the same time? That was my thought process.

It's not as easy as putting diesel in a gas engine, but realistically there are dozens of sizes that you wouldn't be able to visually differentiate with out looking at the size and knowing what you are and aren't supposed to use. Some pistols are even designed to take multiple different ammo with no modification. It's a fairly complex subject, assuming that story is true, guy probably put some hot ammo from an irregular size into a gun with a slightly too small sized barrel causing the bullet to jam during firing, in which case the explosion had to go somewhere and exploding the breach happened. In normal use that can lead to anything from minor scratches to instant death. Having the gun already in your mouth...fuck, way worse than actually killing yourself.

Lo there do I see my father; Lo there do I see my mother and my sisters and my brothers; Lo there do I see the line of my people, back to the beginning. Lo, they do call me, they bid me take my place among them, in the halls of Flavortown where the brave may live forever

+19 - If it's a "Hot Ones" interview I would recommend watching the whole episode; Sean is a great interviewer. Here's the link: I also recommend the TJ Miller and Russel Brand interviews since they're hilarious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jGzFumqed4&t=3s
"You guys we gotta problem here, my car decided to break down somewhere between Flavortown and Titty City all on Thanksgiving day, no less. Guys I'm gonna be honest with ya, if I don't drink some gravy soon I'm probably not gonna make it"

“On camera, I once said, ‘This pizza looks like a manhole cover in Flavortown.’ Willy Wonka had a chocolate stream, you know? So it’s taking these iconic food items, these iconic food moments, and giving them a home. They all live in Flavortown. It’s like one of those things in The Matrix: You can only get down with Flavortown if you believe in Flavortown. I have people walk up to me and say, ‘Hey, I’m a citizen of Flavortown.’ I have people that want to pledge to be a city council member of Flavortown or the mechanic. It doesn’t stop. What would be the airline of Flavortown? Sausage Airlines? It just doesn’t stop. I just said it, and then people heard it. Of course, there’s no Flavortown—unless you believe in it."