Pro General Comments: Okay, Matt, usual good feel, usual smooth voice, usual good work. I'm getting used to hearing that from you these days.I think it might be a mistake to entitle this song, "Gone To Stay". You only mention that phrase once in your lyric, and nothing else refers to it. I think the name of your song is "Goodbye".Secondly, you seem to be saying the same thing, conveying the same sentiment in all three verses, and you do that by using a LOT of clichs. For example, "to carry on"? PLEASE. Not unless you're discussing baggage and an aircraft. It's so overused, it's meaningless.None of them would be effective even if they were standing alone, but in groups like this, they get kinda wearying. What makes it that way is you are TELLING the listener how you feel, not SHOWING them. After a while, the casual listener says, "What do *I* care?"Give them images. A lamp to sell in your garage sale. A half-packed suitcase lying on the bed. A pile of wet tissues in the wastebasket next to the door. A UHaul truck parked out front with its ramp down. A fresh "For Sale" sign on the front lawn. Boxes sitting just inside an open garage door. You could almost make this into a powerful song by making a LIST of images like that, images that say, "Goodbye".Images involve the listener in a much more visceral way than expository prose (telling people how you feel).Another thing to keep in mind is the song form I mentioned in my review of "Sometimes You Just Don't See It Coming". Verse, CHORUS, Verse, CHORUS, Bridge, CHORUS?I believe your CHORUS is just the word "Goodbye" (the way you do it here, that is), and that is COOL. It is a fresh take on the word, full of emotion. I'd leave that alone.But the verses need to be shoved back into the recycle bin. Re-write them with IMAGERY. Make me SEE stuff that pertains to "goodbye". Verse 2 cannot be a repetition of verse 1.Remember, you only have to write TWO verses.Then you come up with a simple two line bridge. Something that ties the whole thing together.THEN do the last four "Goodbyes" just like you have them here and fade out...Brings you in at about three minutes. The way you have it here it's north of 4 minutes 35 seconds. That length used to fly back in the 70's and 80's, but this is a new millennium. Three minutes and the attention span of the casual listener begins to wander. You want to be out before that happens, leaving them wanting MORE, you dig?And don't let that pedal steel player too far out of your sight. Sucker's GOOD, and them that are are hard to find.Proud of ya, son. You're doing REALLY good work here.

Pro General Comments: Okay, Matt, usual good feel, usual smooth voice, usual good work. I'm getting used to hearing that from you these days.I think it might be a mistake to entitle this song, "Gone To Stay". You only mention that phrase once in your lyric, and nothing else refers to it. I think the name of your song is "Goodbye".Secondly, you seem to be saying the same thing, conveying the same sentiment in all three verses, and you do that by using a LOT of clichs. For example, "to carry on"? PLEASE. Not unless you're discussing baggage and an aircraft. It's so overused, it's meaningless.None of them would be effective even if they were standing alone, but in groups like this, they get kinda wearying. What makes it that way is you are TELLING the listener how you feel, not SHOWING them. After a while, the casual listener says, "What do *I* care?"Give them images. A lamp to sell in your garage sale. A half-packed suitcase lying on the bed. A pile of wet tissues in the wastebasket next to the door. A UHaul truck parked out front with its ramp down. A fresh "For Sale" sign on the front lawn. Boxes sitting just inside an open garage door. You could almost make this into a powerful song by making a LIST of images like that, images that say, "Goodbye".Images involve the listener in a much more visceral way than expository prose (telling people how you feel).Another thing to keep in mind is the song form I mentioned in my review of "Sometimes You Just Don't See It Coming". Verse, CHORUS, Verse, CHORUS, Bridge, CHORUS?I believe your CHORUS is just the word "Goodbye" (the way you do it here, that is), and that is COOL. It is a fresh take on the word, full of emotion. I'd leave that alone.But the verses need to be shoved back into the recycle bin. Re-write them with IMAGERY. Make me SEE stuff that pertains to "goodbye". Verse 2 cannot be a repetition of verse 1.Remember, you only have to write TWO verses.Then you come up with a simple two line bridge. Something that ties the whole thing together.THEN do the last four "Goodbyes" just like you have them here and fade out...Brings you in at about three minutes. The way you have it here it's north of 4 minutes 35 seconds. That length used to fly back in the 70's and 80's, but this is a new millennium. Three minutes and the attention span of the casual listener begins to wander. You want to be out before that happens, leaving them wanting MORE, you dig?And don't let that pedal steel player too far out of your sight. Sucker's GOOD, and them that are are hard to find.Proud of ya, son. You're doing REALLY good work here.

Pro General Comments: Okay, Matt, there is much that is cool about this song.I like the hook "Sometimes you just don't see it coming". I like the way it gets laid in there at the top of the chorus, and that there is serious melodic differences between chorus and verse, so that the chorus "soars", if you will.I truly admire your melodic feel, and the way your chord structure is emotive harmony for that melody.Let's go to the lyrics.I'm none too crazy about the opening lines. Don't think they grab the casual listener.Next lyrical speed bump was "I hold it in as long as I am able". It may not be necessary to have a rhyme line here, as you have the second and the fourth lines already rhyming. "I hold it in as long as I can," sounds a little more like natural conversation, which is better, I think.The chorus?Well, the melody of the first two lines is impeccable, as usual, in your stuff.The words of the second line are weak. "Never thought I'd see the day," is a clich. It's sitting in the second line of the chorus where it almost HAS to be powerful. Something like, "Like a train wreck in the night, It came roaring through the tunnel, before I ever saw the light".You use that, I'm a co-writer. And I wouldn't mind that on this song.But, seriously, I hope you see what I mean. The lines, "When home to you I would be runningTo hear you say your going away."? I can't imagine those lines flying with any publisher. No power. Not something someone would say to their estranged lover while trying to hash things out.If not an image, a strong metaphor. Something someone would be saying in conversation. Something that plays off "sometimes you just don't see it coming."Consider this, Matt.Completely remove what you have here as the first verse. The "Another ordinary dayThe sun came up the sky is blue, There's something that you need to sayAnd you seem to think somehow I knew."The more I look at it, the less it works. The SECOND four lines is a POWERFUL way to start this song. The listener is almost sitting down at the kitchen table with you, and it's all you need to get you to the chorus.The second verse is the "A long time ago you called me baby" passage. Then you need to rewrite the bridge. "Time carry's on, And I'll get along, Believing that you're gone"? Very blah. Doesn't convey any information or move the song along.My advice is to take the last verse and worm it around so it becomes your bridge. The first two lines, "It's hard to think of moving on now, But moving on is what I'll do," convey the right sentiment to wrap up the song in a tight little bow. After that, you go straight into a chorus.That makes your song form:Verse --- CHORUS --- Verse ---CHORUS --- Bridge --- ChorusWhich happens to be about the MOST effective song form for climbing the charts in the history OF the charts. 70% of top ten hits in the history of our art has been this form or a slight variation thereof. I hardily recommend you consider it.It also would cut the time of your song down to a little less than three minutes, which is optimum for radio airplay.Matt, I don't get many true talents coming through my critique service. You have it going on. PLEASE stay with it.

Pro General Comments: Okay, Matt, there is much that is cool about this song.I like the hook "Sometimes you just don't see it coming". I like the way it gets laid in there at the top of the chorus, and that there is serious melodic differences between chorus and verse, so that the chorus "soars", if you will.I truly admire your melodic feel, and the way your chord structure is emotive harmony for that melody.Let's go to the lyrics.I'm none too crazy about the opening lines. Don't think they grab the casual listener.Next lyrical speed bump was "I hold it in as long as I am able". It may not be necessary to have a rhyme line here, as you have the second and the fourth lines already rhyming. "I hold it in as long as I can," sounds a little more like natural conversation, which is better, I think.The chorus?Well, the melody of the first two lines is impeccable, as usual, in your stuff.The words of the second line are weak. "Never thought I'd see the day," is a clich. It's sitting in the second line of the chorus where it almost HAS to be powerful. Something like, "Like a train wreck in the night, It came roaring through the tunnel, before I ever saw the light".You use that, I'm a co-writer. And I wouldn't mind that on this song.But, seriously, I hope you see what I mean. The lines, "When home to you I would be runningTo hear you say your going away."? I can't imagine those lines flying with any publisher. No power. Not something someone would say to their estranged lover while trying to hash things out.If not an image, a strong metaphor. Something someone would be saying in conversation. Something that plays off "sometimes you just don't see it coming."Consider this, Matt.Completely remove what you have here as the first verse. The "Another ordinary dayThe sun came up the sky is blue, There's something that you need to sayAnd you seem to think somehow I knew."The more I look at it, the less it works. The SECOND four lines is a POWERFUL way to start this song. The listener is almost sitting down at the kitchen table with you, and it's all you need to get you to the chorus.The second verse is the "A long time ago you called me baby" passage. Then you need to rewrite the bridge. "Time carry's on, And I'll get along, Believing that you're gone"? Very blah. Doesn't convey any information or move the song along.My advice is to take the last verse and worm it around so it becomes your bridge. The first two lines, "It's hard to think of moving on now, But moving on is what I'll do," convey the right sentiment to wrap up the song in a tight little bow. After that, you go straight into a chorus.That makes your song form:Verse --- CHORUS --- Verse ---CHORUS --- Bridge --- ChorusWhich happens to be about the MOST effective song form for climbing the charts in the history OF the charts. 70% of top ten hits in the history of our art has been this form or a slight variation thereof. I hardily recommend you consider it.It also would cut the time of your song down to a little less than three minutes, which is optimum for radio airplay.Matt, I don't get many true talents coming through my critique service. You have it going on. PLEASE stay with it.

Pro General Comments: First you should know that I do like your song but the instrumental introduction has the bass player playing the wrong notes at this exact meter point 0:03-0:04 which for the listener is a very bad negative point at the beginning of any song. It's more like what a live recording does without any editing control of the final song demo recording. Remember any recording IS your calling card as a songwriter. This is why a good engineer / producer / professional musician would hear these things like bad played notes, timing, or other balance points as I did and correct them for the songwriter or record label before it ever leaves the studio. The back ground musical arrangement and execution in this "The Guys of Las Vegas" demo production (as it is now) is very distracting to the song even as a demo. In my opinion the wrong person did the production & the instrument arrangement on this demo for your song and not good for any songwriter / artist. It would be like putting your beautiful child in, torn and tattered, dirty clothing to send them to their first day at school or on their first prom dance. It would be better as a songwriter to have your "The Guys In Las Vegas" sent to professional demo service. There are some really good ones online at a very reasonable cost. Do this please in the future BEFORE sending "The Guys of Las Vegas" to anyone who is a professional in the music recording business. A demo is still a release or potential recording release for the general public if it's uploaded anywhere online. This is essential to produce demos or recordings well and today it is the best to do for the music & lyrics even with a demo production in my opinion. Good thing is that your song "the Guys in Las Vegas" does have a haunting melody which sticks with the listener. That in itself helps take the first steps towards publishing, marketing, and sales of any song which should be the goal of being a professional songwriter. I listened to this song a few times and that is why I suggest with some good polishing in a demo it would be much better for your craft as a songwriter. It also would be better for any of your original songs to be posted ONLY polished this way online. Remember we all know NOTHING lasts forever but in the music recording business to be known for better than bad demonstrations of your songwriting (music & lyrics) I believe will help you accomplish your goals of which for each of us are achievable.

Quote From Pro: "The Guys of Las Vegas" has a haunting medium tempo melody but as the demo it is it does need some polishing. When that is done it could be a great gem for any listener as we as songwriters need to dress our recordings up a bit as if they were to be seen at the finest events, dressed up with a good and applicable instrumental balances too. At the least we as songwriters need to do the best demos we can afford therefore, I suggest your song "TGLV" now be sent to a professional demo service like many songwriters here on Broadjam have done. In my opinion you might do this before you start posting a lot of your songs even as demo's on your BJ Page in the future or replace them with the polished demos. That way in truth when the professional music or film industry starts searching for your work or when you send your product into the companies looking to license your songs, it will be acceptable rather than rejected. Potential is really there for your song certainly that you submitted to me once you take those suggested steps. Finally, let me thank you for sharing "The Guys in Las Vegas" lyrics & music. There is a message in this song we as listeners can relate to and I look forward to reviewing more of your work in the near future. Thank you.

Pro General Comments: First you should know that I do like your song but the instrumental introduction has the bass player playing the wrong notes at this exact meter point 0:03-0:04 which for the listener is a very bad negative point at the beginning of any song. It's more like what a live recording does without any editing control of the final song demo recording. Remember any recording IS your calling card as a songwriter. This is why a good engineer / producer / professional musician would hear these things like bad played notes, timing, or other balance points as I did and correct them for the songwriter or record label before it ever leaves the studio. The back ground musical arrangement and execution in this "The Guys of Las Vegas" demo production (as it is now) is very distracting to the song even as a demo. In my opinion the wrong person did the production & the instrument arrangement on this demo for your song and not good for any songwriter / artist. It would be like putting your beautiful child in, torn and tattered, dirty clothing to send them to their first day at school or on their first prom dance. It would be better as a songwriter to have your "The Guys In Las Vegas" sent to professional demo service. There are some really good ones online at a very reasonable cost. Do this please in the future BEFORE sending "The Guys of Las Vegas" to anyone who is a professional in the music recording business. A demo is still a release or potential recording release for the general public if it's uploaded anywhere online. This is essential to produce demos or recordings well and today it is the best to do for the music & lyrics even with a demo production in my opinion. Good thing is that your song "the Guys in Las Vegas" does have a haunting melody which sticks with the listener. That in itself helps take the first steps towards publishing, marketing, and sales of any song which should be the goal of being a professional songwriter. I listened to this song a few times and that is why I suggest with some good polishing in a demo it would be much better for your craft as a songwriter. It also would be better for any of your original songs to be posted ONLY polished this way online. Remember we all know NOTHING lasts forever but in the music recording business to be known for better than bad demonstrations of your songwriting (music & lyrics) I believe will help you accomplish your goals of which for each of us are achievable.

Quote From Pro: "The Guys of Las Vegas" has a haunting medium tempo melody but as the demo it is it does need some polishing. When that is done it could be a great gem for any listener as we as songwriters need to dress our recordings up a bit as if they were to be seen at the finest events, dressed up with a good and applicable instrumental balances too. At the least we as songwriters need to do the best demos we can afford therefore, I suggest your song "TGLV" now be sent to a professional demo service like many songwriters here on Broadjam have done. In my opinion you might do this before you start posting a lot of your songs even as demo's on your BJ Page in the future or replace them with the polished demos. That way in truth when the professional music or film industry starts searching for your work or when you send your product into the companies looking to license your songs, it will be acceptable rather than rejected. Potential is really there for your song certainly that you submitted to me once you take those suggested steps. Finally, let me thank you for sharing "The Guys in Las Vegas" lyrics & music. There is a message in this song we as listeners can relate to and I look forward to reviewing more of your work in the near future. Thank you.

Pro General Comments: "I Believe" is an elegant and moving composition and has always been one of my favorite hymns. The melody and lyric are memories I have carried close to my hear nearly all my life. I loved singing it as a child and hearing it sung in church from the time I was very, very young. I loved it when Elvis recorded it (with his direct and emotive delivery) Your voice sounds calming and the timbre evokes the right emotions in me. I am vey impressed that you would be bold enough to tackle such a well known song and carry it off in such a professional manner. The backing vocals never shade the lead but only enhance the listener's experience. I love the guitar figure that carries the instrumental track. The sparseness of the track really makes this arrangement work...the intimacy and the tenderness of your voice match the lyric perfectly. In my humble opinion, you should have this mastered and released to CCM radio. It's a timeless message that everyone should hear. My only critique would be the reverb on the vocal...it is not my favorite. Otherwise, I am very impressed with this wonderful performance. I'm not sure what else I can say about this performance. Please keep up the great work and feel free to submit more material to me at any time!!! Thank you for submitting and allowing me to listen and respond.

Quote From Pro: This is a very impressive cover of a classic and timeless hymn.

Pro General Comments: "I Believe" is an elegant and moving composition and has always been one of my favorite hymns. The melody and lyric are memories I have carried close to my hear nearly all my life. I loved singing it as a child and hearing it sung in church from the time I was very, very young. I loved it when Elvis recorded it (with his direct and emotive delivery) Your voice sounds calming and the timbre evokes the right emotions in me. I am vey impressed that you would be bold enough to tackle such a well known song and carry it off in such a professional manner. The backing vocals never shade the lead but only enhance the listener's experience. I love the guitar figure that carries the instrumental track. The sparseness of the track really makes this arrangement work...the intimacy and the tenderness of your voice match the lyric perfectly. In my humble opinion, you should have this mastered and released to CCM radio. It's a timeless message that everyone should hear. My only critique would be the reverb on the vocal...it is not my favorite. Otherwise, I am very impressed with this wonderful performance. I'm not sure what else I can say about this performance. Please keep up the great work and feel free to submit more material to me at any time!!! Thank you for submitting and allowing me to listen and respond.

Quote From Pro: This is a very impressive cover of a classic and timeless hymn.

Pro General Comments: This is an exceptional country song. The lyric is as strong as gas and really evokes deep emotion in the listener. The vocal reminds me of the late, great John Denver and his great song writing and vocal delivery. I am very impressed with the vocalist and the instrumentalists (it sounds like a very professional demo). This is definitely ready to be pitched to major artists in the country genre. The melody in the chorus is easy to sing and very memorable (in my professional opinion, those two elements are essential in a hit song's chorus.) I will find myself humming this melody all day long today. Let me also mention the bridge...it ties the story together in a very neat bow and does what a chorus should do...be the morale of the story. If you are not getting this song in front of music industry professionals, you certainly should be. It sounds like a hit song to this reviewer. Thanks for allowing me to hear this!

Quote From Pro: "Sometimes You Just Don't See It Coming" is a hit song waiting to be discovered. It has timeless appeal and should be in Country Radio right now!!!

Pro General Comments: This is an exceptional country song. The lyric is as strong as gas and really evokes deep emotion in the listener. The vocal reminds me of the late, great John Denver and his great song writing and vocal delivery. I am very impressed with the vocalist and the instrumentalists (it sounds like a very professional demo). This is definitely ready to be pitched to major artists in the country genre. The melody in the chorus is easy to sing and very memorable (in my professional opinion, those two elements are essential in a hit song's chorus.) I will find myself humming this melody all day long today. Let me also mention the bridge...it ties the story together in a very neat bow and does what a chorus should do...be the morale of the story. If you are not getting this song in front of music industry professionals, you certainly should be. It sounds like a hit song to this reviewer. Thanks for allowing me to hear this!

Quote From Pro: "Sometimes You Just Don't See It Coming" is a hit song waiting to be discovered. It has timeless appeal and should be in Country Radio right now!!!