And no, i don’t have any problem with the half naked chic in the picture. She’s kinda cute actually. Anyways, it’s what she’s holding that i have a major problem with. That tiny piece of evil that they call “Yakult”. Why do i have a problem with it you ask? – well, cause the quantity of the drink is “SO MUCH”, i can barely finish it all by myself. Can you sense the sarcasm?. I drank 5 yakult in less than 30 minutes and i’m still thristy.

I mean seriously, if they start selling in a even smaller size packaging .. i’m gonna literally pull out my arm hair and drink it down with water just to show you how crazy i am. Ive had problem with this small size Yakult for a longgggg time now. It’s barely even enough for like 1 cup. You know what’s even more sad?. Try doing this at home, go get a cup and fill it up with ice and then pour your Yakult into it, seriously, i don’t know about you but i remember once i literally got depressed looking at the half filled cup. Think i took less than 10 secs to finish it and all i was left with was a bunch of ice that tasted like Yakult. It’s sad people. It’s really sad. Even more so than the picture of a random chinese dude below.

Look at him, don’t you just wanna slap his fa…c.. i mean, slap some… i mean, cheer him..u.. oh screw it. don’t you just wanna slap some happiness into him or better yet, throw a cup of Yakult on his face! – no wait! you cant! because the quantity of the freaking Yakult is not even freakin’ enough to drink yet alone to throw onto someone’s face. Jesus.

So here’s what i propose. Since i’m a very lazy guy.. I wish and hope that someone out there would put an end to this madness and start a petition or something to change the size of the Yakult packaging because people need Yakult, dammit. Lots of it. Just about several months ago, i found out it has some goodie bacteria whatever something good bla bla bla in it and apparently its good for our body cause it could whatever somehow bla bla bla flush something that nobody cares about bla bla bla out of our body.

With that said, i hope this changes really soon. So the world can be a better place again. No worries though, i’ll definitely support the saviour (whoever that is) by standing in the side lines and cheering him/her on.

So, to thank you, oh saviour of mankind, I’ve decided to upload a picture of me which you can download, print it out and keep it close to you cause when the going get’s tough and im sure it will, you can look at my picture and get that strength back again to push forward and topple the evil regime that’s dictating the Yakult company right now.

It’s quiet in here, it was as if time itself has decided to stop for abit. Alone at home, i am right now, right here and it’s been a long time since mom actually stayed or been at home and i guess ive gotten used to being and living alone.

I’ve got her routine all imprinted in my head and the timing that she leaves and comes back home all figured out and carefully foreseen so i could jail myself in my room which would in-return limit the contact that i have with her. It’s not that i hate her or anything, its just.. well. we just function that way. Not so much on the communication but that silent bond will always be there. For she was the one, who chose the role of a mother, to be my mother, in the absence of my biological mother who readily gave me up and disappeared.

I don’t blame her though for not being home. There was a point of time i hated coming back home. It was when dad died. I know she’s still isn’t okay. i’m watching her downfall as we speak. Her downfall is sealed for she has already accepted the person she is now. Bitter and slowly losing grip on what she use to have.

Death is always around but why does it seem like its too much for one to take when it actually happens. Is it because he was the only father figure that i had? – is that why it tears me apart even till today? (besides being fond of him). I anticipated for the worse to come weeks before he passed away, knowing that ill be strong but when it happened, i was weak and defenseless. i was merely a child who foolishly underestimated the power of someone disappearing before you and becoming nothing more than just a memory.

So do i still remember how his voice sounds like? – Yes, i do. In fact, if i stayed extremely silent and block all thats in my mind right now. i can still remember how his laughter would sound like.

Perhaps, its the regrets that i have on how i acted towards him at certain times back then that kills me inside when i think about him. I was terribly immature and a walking timebomb back then. Destructive, i was – because i knew from a early age that i wasnt normal like the other kids around me. High sense of awareness began at an early age.

“Oh that boy is smart” – they would say and i would smile politely thanking them for the compliment with that boyish unsure smile while my mind starts wondering if it was indeed a curse instead, knowing what i shouldnt at that age for it did made me feel.. “funny”.. inside.

1, 2, 3.. no wait. 1, 2. yea. 2. that’s the amount of people left in my world whom are family. 2. im only 24 years of age and i have only 2 people left?. Great. Mom doesnt look good these days too. If, god forbid, “it” happens .. i’m left with 1 and that would be my sis. I wonder what kinda changes i would go through then.

God, If i build any more brick walls than what i already have in my heart .. those bricks would turn into steel for sure. If you asked, i would say i’m okay because i have other choice but to be okay. There isn’t any turning back to this. This is what it is for me. There really isn’t any turning back to this. This is what i was suppose to go through. I guess i would have been alot worse if no one gave me a chance the minute i took my first breath. Then again, sometimes i question if i should have even taken that first breath in the first place.

Waking up in cold sweat at 2:45am in the morning can have its frustrating yet worned out effect on you. Especially when you dream about being in tragic situations with close ones right there in the comfort of your own home. Ahh, i’ve been here before, just a week ago or so if i remember correctly, but that unholy catastrophe of a Tsunami that i visioned weren’t as negatively breathtaking compared to what i’m about to tell you right now – The 2nd unfaithful nightmare, The Thunderous Tornados.

So there i was and I believe i was heading to work. Armed with extreme certainty, i boarded the train (that had the inside look – no – the exact replica of a bus) yet there i was, puzzled and confused about a strange encounter earlier on with a woman who said nothing about who she “really” was, while ignorantly taking the identity of someone i’m dating right now in reality. As we were walking towards the train station, i began analysing her when she was talking to me. “This strange overjoyed woman that was happy to see me is shorter, looked nothing like “her” yet she was acting like as if she was her! — What’s going on here, where is “honey” and who are you?!”. At this point, overwhelmed with confusion, i lost all the comfort that she showered me with when we first met. I needed an answer to these questions in my head. “I am ‘her’, she says, with a strange smile and begins continuing talking about her day. Thinking about it now, i cant seem to remember why i didnt pursue the matter any further, i took her obvious lie as an answer to my questions, walked with her, dropped her off at her place and left her as i headed my way towards the train station.

Sitting at the back of the train, i knew something was wrong. I had to know for sure if that was indeed “honey”. I called her phone and she picked up, sounding as if she just woke up and as i was talking to her, we quickly established that the woman i met was indeed a stranger, a creepy one who had a mild psychological control over me. “Honey, are you there? – hello?, honey? honey!, hello?! ho.n..”. The conversation went dead. What i saw outside of my window, those crippling few minutes brought paralysing fear over my body and crying in my surrounding. A mother who held her baby whom continously started vomiting making a pool of filth in an instant in the next seat, paid no attention to her unusual sick child because just like everyone else, we were watching the destruction that was taking place in the outside world of our train. Three tonados circling around like a giant black of evil while red lightning struck on the ground far more worse than any deady thunderstorm i’ve seen or heard of. It was as if the wrath of Zues himself was at play here. Fire and flames danced all around the what was known a place of living where people resided as the black tonados kept tearing anything and everything in its path. Birds were falling from the sky like fireballs, some were still breathing as they were on fire while others died in an instant from the lightning strikes and then there were those who were burning right before me. Their bones were turning into ashes. At that point, anguish would be an understatement of what i saw on their faces. You just simply know, no one survived out there.

That visioned quickly brought me to the next one where we were on the ground, safe from the disaster. Everyone was shaken by what they have just seen. The train employee instructed us to sit tight here. Just our luck, the train that we were in broke down. We were given instructions to wait here for the next one thats on its way. So we began sitting under a sheltered building. In a row they sat. Mothers holding their children tightly. Men, women, children all sat and waited while a few were crying in fear. Me?, i stood there walking back and forth trying to comprehend what just happened. “Hey, i’m Paul”. he said. A man who was sitting on the floor looking up at me. “Oh, I’m Rudy”, firmly shaking his hand while the words ‘i’m not gonna die here today’ was running through my mind like a marquee. I could see it on his face. That man has lost all hope, he was ready to die if the situation presented itself to him. Perhaps maybe he just found out he lost someone dear to him? – maybe i did too. Honey stopped talking to me right in the middle of our conversation. Just right before i could tell her what was going on outside and maybe even warn her. Maybe something happened to her. What about my family? — Mom, sis and my two little nephews. Where are they now?.

“Alright!”, i said. “Listen everybody, whatever happens. we’ll get through this. I am not gonna die here today, we are not gonna die here today. Just calm down if you can, don’t panic so you can think clearly and solve problems in a quick-danger situations. We’re gonna be o — FUCK, MOVE! THERE’S A CAR COMING!. FUCK, MOVE NOW!”.

It was too late. Flew right in where we were. Half of the people got hit by the car. Innocent children whose lives never even began yet died painfully together with their mothers in a worse death scenario possible ever. The loud thud of human meeting steel was nothing compared to watching tonadoes forming around us. Paul, fully aware of whats going around him, still sat there. I guess he has accepted his death. It was only a matter of minutes before his life ends. “I’m not gonna die here today, I’m NOT gonna die here today”. With that in mind, i looked around me to get out of this place. Tonadoes all around me except straight ahead. I ran, as fast as i could into the open realizing that its all over if a lightning starts striking or if the tonadoes catches up to me. I kept running and running, i felt my leg being pulled back by the wind. I dare not turn. If i was going to die that very moment, the last thing i want imprinted in my mind is staring at that black death of wind in my face before it all ends. Somehow i pulled away from that slight force and kept running ahead and all i saw was a man doing the same and suddenly i felt the worse was over. I felt safe for i knew that the tonadoes have already passed this area. I turned back and i saw destruction at its play. All those lives aren’t going to stand a chance at all and thats when it hit me. “I survived, I’m alive”.

Like i said, waking in a cold sweat isn’t fun nor are nightmares for that matter. Twice in a week, already. This definitely isn’t fun. I’m curious though, how can a baby vomit that much like that of man. It seemed like an unholy sign. who was that woman?. Was she trying to save me? – is that why she pretended to be someone i’m dating at the moment. The grip that she had on me was unusually strong. I never walked away from her even though i knew she wasn’t who she claims to be. My mind could have been fighting that “grip”, maybe perhaps thats why i was having confused thoughts and questioned her in the end. It was as if, i was under a spell. Who was she? – come to think of it now, maybe i would have died like the rest of my close ones if i wasn’t with her earlier before the incident. Maybe.

Yea, Maybe. Me, having lost faith in god, could she be one? .. a god? – perhaps trying to remind me that ive not been forsaken. Trying to instill that faith in me that i had many years ago that doesn’t exist anymore right now. Then again, if thats what it is, this wouldn’t be the first time i had a nightmare being saved by a god. As a kid, i did have a dream whereby i got saved by Mother Mary from demons that were chasing me and even though she was talking to me, i couldn’t hear her or read her lips to make out what she was saying.

Whatever it was, I’m not ready to have a 3rd nightmare regarding natural disasters anytime soon.

On Tuesday Night:
Alwyn accidently send a romantic text message that was meant for his girlfriend to me instead.

– 3 days later, 2.24pm –

Alwyn: Hey what time are you working today, early right?Rudy: Ya, 5. You?Alwyn: Lol..Rudy: what time are you working?Alwyn: not as early as you??Rudy: this is lame. haha.Alwyn: and i bet you didnt sleep. Working at 6 la…Rudy: haha i did i did. crap la, going to work so early. sigh.Alwyn: Thought you were working at 6. Wanted to ask you for dinner.Rudy: aw arent you sweet. ive been thinking about the message you sent me that day. you’re right baby. nothing will break us apart and no, cant do dinner today. haha.Alwyn: I knew you would haunt me with that joke sooner or later!Rudy: i know. that’s the best part of our friendship. you do something dumb and i make fun of it. we function well that way.

Rudy says:
haha
okay im just gonna attempt to talk “black”
right now
in our conversation
okay starting from now

Laura says:
hopefully i’ll be able to follow

Rudy says:
yo nigger, you best be followin’ cause the river dont shine. ya kno what im sayin’
dawg
river no shine baby
yo you dig?
holla back yo. yo you goin silent on me dawg?
now why you lik that
yo why you like that

Laura says:
i phail at being a “black” chic

Rudy says:
right

Laura says:
but you can carry on

Rudy says:
imma gonna let you in on a secret

Laura says:
i’ll just talk normally
oooo gossip

Rudy says:
cause you and me
we click
oh we click good
so yea
listen good baby
causse imma only gonna say it once
like once
yo those black chics all talking black and all
it aint hot baby

Laura says:
but they are black chics they have to talk that way
its in their bloood

Rudy says:
yo u took out words right from ma mouth. yo
baaaaby, right from my MOUTH!
from the cavity and shit, yall’
yo its like
you used a ma’fuckin dental floss yo
you floss that nigger out of me
ya hear

Dammit, so now i have to put extra effort just to learn something and annoy her with it and piss her off too. Sigh, damn. It’s not gonna be fun anymore. Well, in any case, if you’re lost – here’s what happened yesterday.