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Monday, October 1, 2012

Cutting the Apron Strings

Every parent expects that at some point, the apron strings
will be cut and their children will fly away.Yes, I know this is a mix of metaphors, but stay with me,
I’m in a confused state right now.My apron strings have not been gently cut, but ripped apart, my baby
bird grabbed out of the nest.

Despite adamantly and purposely keeping my children at home
or in the safekeeping of a relative, i.e. grandparents, aunt and uncle, my
oldest is gone for five days and in a couple of weeks, her sister will leave for
three days.They will go off with
people I’ve never met, stay somewhere sight unseen, and no-one will check
whether they brushed their teeth or ate all their breakfast.All in the name of “education”.

As part of the curriculum of her magnet program, Elle left
this morning on a bus with 100 other kids to New York City to return on
Friday.They’re tasked to learn
about American history, make a film, experience the city.I don’t know.Stuff I think they could’ve done right here in nearby
Washington DC and come home after dinner. Then Breeze will be off to outdoor
education – a 3-day exploration in camping lodges to learn about the
environment and stars and GPS systems.I don’t know why they have to stay overnight to do it.And then Girl Scout camping is coming
up; they’ve gone before, but I’ve always went with them.Now the youngest one wants to go, but I
can’t make the trip.

Snip snip snip

My frustration and anxiety is multi-fold on this whole going
away issue.There’s the general
concern of whether my child will be okay and what happens if there’s an
emergency.How the heck am I going
to get to New York City quick enough if she gets hurt or lost?I’m a little perturbed by the school
system’s assumption that parents are alright with sending their kids off into
the woods for days at a time.Sure, we could say “no”, but then your kid is the weirdo, lone kid who
didn’t go on the trip and is left back at school doing worksheets.GS camping?Where is she going to go when she gets up in the middle of
the night and wants to crawl in bed with her mommy?

There’s also a whole other aspect of this separation that
only hit me as I was packing Elle’s things.The kids have never been apart from each other for this
long, either.There have been the
occasional times that someone ended up at their grandparents and someone stayed
home, for random logistical reasons related to wanting or not wanting to go to
someone else’s activity.But gone,
like gone gone?No, they’ve been
like peas in pod since day one.

I feel a sense of powerlessness and loss of control over my
children.Their little fingers are
slipping out of my hands, and they are wandering off out of my reach.I don’t know that I actually had a
decision to make in sending them on these ventures, it just seemed a given that
they would pack their bags and go.

Leaving me here with my raggedy apron with the strings
ripped off.

Elle on her first field trip to NYC with me, when the apron strings were securely tied.