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Saturday, January 12, 2013

Thunderball and Luciana Paluzzi: Best Bathtub Scene in Film History! "Mr. Bond James Bond"

In "Thunderball" (1965), directed by Terence Young, Fiona Volpe, played by Luciana Paluzzi, is a cold-blooded killer for SPECTRE. She successfully kills several targets, such as Count Lippe. Luciana Paluzzi plays the first of the Ian Fleming Bond spy film girls who truly is lethal, without any doubts or qualms. Everyone has their own opinion about this, but "Thunderball" is in my eyes the Bond film with the greatest collection of beautiful women.

Of course, Fiona being a cold-blooded killer doesn't stop James Bond (Sean Connery) from sleeping with her. Anyone can see how that might come about. The way she keeps saying "bondjamesbond" about as sexily as it is possible to say that (or anything) is one of the great catchphrases of the entire series.

"Oh no! It's Bond James Bond, and I have nothing to wear!"

Unfortunately, Fiona proves to be a little too persistent for her own good. In a hotly debated scene, Bond spins Volpe so that she takes a bullet from her own bodyguard, thereby sparing himself. I mean, taking a bullet for Bond James Bond was the least she could do after all he had done for her!

Fiona, thus, gained the distinction of being the first woman that Bond causes to be killed, even though he doesn't actually pull the trigger himself.

Fiona and the big bathtub scene.

Fiona is especially memorable because of a few scenes that stand out. She is a larger-than-life character, and she gets off some terrific lines.

Oh, kiss kiss love love - Fiona with her sugar daddy.

But of course. I forgot about your ego, Mr. Bond. James Bond, who only has to make love to a woman and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing. She repents and immediately returns to the side of right and virtue. But not this one.

That bike seriously is bigger than Fiona is.

Fiona Volpe: Some men just don't like to be driven.

James Bond: No, some men just don't like to be taken for a ride.

Vroom vroom! Now take it off the kickstand, sweetie

James Bond, who only has to make love to a woman and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing. She repents and then immediately returns to the side of right and virtue.

I know the other girl signed this - but so what?

The bathtub scene - where Fiona is naked and asks Bond to give her something to put on - is a true classic and one of the sexiest scenes from the entire series.

Just three girls chillin'.

As usual with publicity stills, it certainly looks as though the making of the film was even more fun than the finished film itself.

The smooth tropical breezes, the azure water, the frolicking women - really, who could ask for a better time?

Ah, what a lovely day it must have been. Girls, this is how you make an entrance.

But, in the end, it does all come down to the movie itself. And, in "Thunderball," there is one scene featuring Luciana Paluzzi that is not to be missed - and that is the bathtub scene.

Oh, scandalous. Could they have found a smaller tub?

Yes, the bathtub scene. Poor Luciana has taken a bath - and she doesn't have anything handy to wear when Bond James Bond comes in.

"Would you mind giving me something to put on?"

Ah, the eternal question. The bards rhapsodize about it, the great thinkers ponder it, the muses dance about it. What on earth is the proper answer to the question, "Would you mind giving me something to put on?"

"Here, let me help"

Bond is gallant, and does what a lady asks. He is a man of action, no time for ruminations about the celestial orbs or the number of angels that can dance on the tip of Luciana's nose. No, he cuts the proverbial Gordian knot, decisively, and obliges the fair lady!

"Bond James Bond, this really isn't what I had in mind!"

Yes, dear friends, somewhere people are happy, somewhere the children play, but here in "Thunderball," Bond James Bond has indeed provided the fair lady with the items she desires, the things that she can put on to make a grand exit from the tub.

"I think those shoes match your beautiful eyes."

Yes, James Bond is a man among men, a paragon of rectitude, and one clever son of a gun.

Get my agent on the phone, quick!

That's right, Luciana, get on the phone to your agent - your career is wide open now! All thanks to Bond James Bond!

Oh, Bond James Bond, come to bed.

Below is a clip of the famous bathtub scene, perhaps the best James Bond moment ever. Her reaction to the shoes is priceless.

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