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that’s my jam!

You know how there’s a song that you randomly hear and like? But you go to look for it and can’t find it?

That was Rather Be for a long time for me. But thanks to YouTube, I’m now listening to it on repeat forever and ever. It’s a problem.

This was literally me all weekend.

ALL DAMN WEEKEND!

This dumb song is everything and I can’t even explain it. Like I want to give you musical analysis, how it pulls live classical instruments over a dance beat, how the early 90’s influence is so strong (a la Crystal Waters & Black Box), how the harmonies are super super tight, how the ab libs are soft but effective.

That last swell into the final chorus???

But really, the song just embodies happiness right now. Or my version of it. As weird as it sounds, I’m strangely in a good place. Are things perfect?

But this song embodies my version of happiness and real love. Where shit can go wrong but you know just being with that one person will fix your mood immediately. It pleases me to think that I’ll be in that place at some point in my life. (Speaking it into existence, y’all!)

Either way, I’m going to be snatching your faves wigs with my karaoke rendition of this song with some patented Countess step-touch choreography.

Althea Gibson was an American tennis player and professional golfer, and the first black athlete to cross the color line of international tennis. In 1956, she became the first person of color to win a Grand Slam title (the French Open). The following year she won both Wimbledon and the U.S. Nationals (precursor of the U.S. Open), then won both again in 1958, and was voted Female Athlete of the Year by the Associated Press in both years. She won 11 Grand Slam tournaments, including six doubles titles, and was inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame and the International Women’s Sports Hall of Fame.

Come on Althea!

So if you think back to the first episode of Empire. We opened with this song.

I’ve been listening it non-stop ever since. I love her voice, I love the harmonies. SO GOOD.

Listen, I’ve always seen it for Sophia Grace. because While she’s completely aware of the camera, she’s always acted like any extroverted child to me. Not to mention that she and Rosie are super adorable.

So when this popped up on my timeline, I knew it was going to be cute.

But what I didn’t expect that I would hit a smooth two-step to it!

“IF YOU GOT A FRIEND LIKE THAT, LIKE THAT??”

Come through Sophia! My only question is where the f*** is Rosie?!?!?! Rosie was the special spice, serving you Muted Princess Adorableness. Is she not the best friend the song is about?

IS ROSIE ABOUT TO RELEASE HER DISS TRACK FEATURING THE MIGOS BECAUSE FAME GOT MISS SOPHIA????

Because that would be hilarious.

But on a serious tip, I have a deep and abiding love for child/teen-appropriate songs performed by people in that age group. I don’t think it’s impossible to make good music for the children that’s actually enjoyable. So go ahead and put this on Spotify!

Needless to say, the final weeks of 2014 were a bust in several ways. There were things to discuss, but nothing was positive and our drafts listing is filled with half-written posts. But it’s a new year and I’ve decided to dive back in as a manner of expressing myself again. So let’s talk.

What’s Yo (Relationship) Status at the Bank?Guess who happens to still be single in the most vivid way imaginable?

Over the course of the holidays, it was almost as if everything I did involved hanging with couples, listening to the drama between couples, or getting advice on how to end up in a couple. It was harsh to say the least.

Even worse, I realized that my type is still relatively elusive. While Class may try to act like my requirements for dating are obscure, they are actually not that bad. But the two requirements that are most important to me seem to be the hardest to find. Internally motivated and an interesting conversationalist seem to be rarities these days. Lacking in these areas render even the most superficially attractive specimen useless in my world.

But the largest obstacle standing in my way is my reluctance to put myself out there. For many years, it was fear of rejection that held me back. That I was too big or not attractive enough to be worth anyone’s attention. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I’m okay looking. I’m relatively funny. I’ve got some things going for me. Also, I’m Important.

Seriously though, I’ve exhausted my desire to go out. I’m tired of checking apps and dating sites. I’m just in this place where I’d rather not be bothered. That attitude doesn’t fix the situation, but it is where I’m at these days. We’ll see what changes this year.

On BlacknessThis blog isn’t even a year old and we have a full archive on Race Issues.

But it seems 2014 was the year where racists just said “Fuck It” and went hard in the paint to make America miserable unsafe for Black people. I remember back when President Obama was elected, there was a mixed feeling of elation and fear. One of the biggest lessons I’d learned was that when white people feel a loss of perceived power, they lash out. No matter what. Whether it’s getting angry and upset with harsh words and attempts to ruin the victor’s credibility or attempting to utilize the one perceived slight as an example of how hard they have it, it is going to happen. The only other reaction I’ve ever seen is the defense “I’m not racist, I hate everyone. Racist comment, racist comment, racist comment.” That’s probably the worst of all.

But to keep myself from going full-on thesis, here’s Miles Jai:

Here’s Chescaleigh:

Here’s Tre Melvin:

I’m using these as examples because I’m trying to swallow this rage and keep it trucking. But the end result is that people are pissed at the injustice. And no one cares how much it inconveniences you. Our lives are at stake. Until there is real change, there will truly be no peace.

Pettiness and Heartbreaks: Celebrity Style

“Cut that Chinese Pussy Hair off my face. Lol”

When I tell you that Sass and I cackled for hours on end over the Lispy/Fanny Pack brief separation. But something about this douchey face and the Lol sent me over the moon.

Both of these people truly need to leave their lives off the internet, but for the first time in ages, I laughed at their antics instead of rolling my eyes. The involvement of Drake. Her tears of melancholy and faux-inspirational Instagrams from the Jhene Aiko playbook of songwriting. The phrase “Chinese Pussy Hair”. This is classic.

2014 also saw the breakup of Amber Rose & Wiz Latifah. I like Amber and Wiz is entertaining to look up so hopefully things will be good for their baby. However, this my friends:

Ugh, love this group so much. I wore my aunt’s cassette for “Of The Heart, Of the Soul, And of the Cross” out when I borrowed it back in middle/high school. They have an interesting way of speaking about life and love in a way that’s emotional and masculine if that makes sense. It’s melodic but it’s funky. It’s definitely a product of the early 90’s free-for-all music scene. I’ll leave the song’s interpretation up to you, but this song still takes me to a place of wondering who I am and what I’m doing.

Please Don’t Turn Me On – Artful Dodger

With my very public love of Craig David, I don’t think it is surprising that UK Garage music appeals to me. Artful Dodger did some production work on Craig’s first album too, but it wasn’t until much later that I took a dive into his singles. I love the softness of his production, the abundance of harmonies, and his ability to give songs a groove while downplaying the drumbeat. It’s all very lush, if that makes sense. This song makes me happy.

It’s tiem to get back into Trashy Thursday! It’s been far too long since we’ve taken a deep dive in to some music for the basics of the world. Let’s get started! As per usual, this one is Not Safe For Work so watch and listen accordingly.

1) N*ggaz Ain’t Shit – Mercedes

Monkey on the dick, monkey on the dick!

Listen, as the queen of No Limit for about 2 weeks, Mercedes went on to release bomb ass song after bomb ass song. I live for her. This song is so relentlessly catchy, fun to sing along to, and ridiculously vulgar. I LOVE IT.

If you’ve been paying any attention to me, I love female rap that essentially brags about how bomb she is. As a huge proponent of faux confidence, these songs speak to me on a fundamental level. This song is all about how wack these raggedy men are in comparison to her. And you can’t take her beat or her bang.

La Chat is a goddess. We last checked in with her in the Chickenhead video, which we all know is a classic. But here she has the starring role and you simply can not take. This is a play on “Slob on My Knob” which is another iconic bop.

“Bet he went home and kissed his bish on the mouth. EWW!”

She collaborated most with Three 6 Mafia & Project Pat, but there’s something great about a lady-rapper who is just aggressive. She’s not trying to be soft despite the vulgar nature of the song. She’s demanding sex. And while true equality between the sexes is not just turnabout, it’s refreshing to hear a woman just make a song that says “I want sex. Why am I not being pleasured yet?”

3) That’s My Juvie – Magnolia Shorty

“DEM HOES BET NOT FUCK WIT MY JU-VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

Now I don’t know how many of you are familiar with New Orleans Bounce Music, but what’s important is that you essentially don’t stop moving your ass when you hear it. It’s perfect. You might be more familiar with Homegurl which samples it. I like both, but the original will always have a special place in my heart.

It’s dumb and repetitive. And it’s perfect.

4) One Night Stand – L’il Jon & The Eastside Boys f. Oobie

“I’m seeing me on top of you, doing things that lovers do. But I don’t belong to you, what’s a girl supposed to do?”

I’m sure that I’ve mentioned Oobie on the blog. I did! This song was a trashy hoodrat anthem before “thot” ever became hot. As I mentioned, Oobie can’t even really sing. But her sweet, thin voice singing these trashy lyrics serve as a perfect counterpoint to L’il Jon’s uhhh…”rapping.”

But while this song encourages cheating as way to “respect” their relationships, but you know no one is looking. It’s only for this ONE NIGHT y’all. We won’t do it again.

The message of this song is so trashy but I fucking love this song. It’s so dumb.

“If you know how to keep a secret, you can get it FOR SURE. Just make sure you get enough, cuz you can’t get it NO MORE”

5) Phatty – CCB

“Now your girlfriend’s mad cuz I got what she never had!”

So we’ve gone to New Orleans and now it’s up to DC where gogo reigns supreme. Now my undergrad institution seemingly recruited 90% of its African-American population from this area which meant that every party gave us a gogo moment where we all beat our feet and broke a sweat.

It’s also repetitive and doesn’t require much of a singing voice, but it’s just so much fun. Like you may be annoyed at first, but if you have any slice of rhythm, you’re going to find yourself booty popping by the second chorus. I’ll have to do a post featuring some of my favorite go-go memories from my time in college. Best believe that this will show up.

So what are your thoughts? Did I miss some of your favorites? My playlist is always open. Have a great day, y’all!

You may remember the slayage that was my Turquoise Jeep mega-post. You didn’t read it? Don’t fret, click right here and get caught up!

But they’ve just released a new track so that you can get Fancy out of your head! Come through MoonRock!

Get into her Bar Wench Halloween Costume!

Get into her burly, yes somewhat homely eye candy!

Get into the flawless video editing and green screen effects!

Get into the frog with the moving lips!

But seriously, the thing about Turquoise Jeep is that underneath all of their hilarious antics and ridiculous imagery, there’s a solid understanding of rap and song construction. Wait, before you run away, listen to me. Almost every song they have is at least an earworm, if not incredibly catchy and listenable. The flows are on beat, the syncopation is works, and while there is some corny cleverness, it’s never annoying. It’s always purposeful.

MoonRock is a great addition and I look forward to her and Slick Mahony’s cover of Whatchu Like.