ARC: Adopting Grace
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- from clothing to friends to how to spend time and out into ever widening circles of choice. Sometimes this process felt natural and at other times it was heart wrenching. I quickly learned that the whether or not to wear a jacket discussion is small potatoes compared to some of the stuff coming down the road. My children are gifts and individual souls that do not belong to me. I am entrusted with their care and teaching for a season, but it is healthy and right for them to head toward a life of making their own choices and decisions. This eventually included what to consume, lifestyle decisions, faith expression, political views, relationships, and the list goes on and on and on. They dream dreams and pursue paths. Some align with my wishes as a mom, and some don’t. One critical distinction that I had to learn as a parent is that my children are not an extension of me. Each one of them will make their own mistakes, forge their own pathways, and discover joy in their own places. It is my job to be a coach, teacher, and encourager along the way, but I must untangle my own ego and expectations from their journey. We are separate individuals. It is painful to watch my children struggle, suffer, or seemingly veer off course. During such times, my desire is to respond in love and with genuine heart and head attunement. Yet I am so easily gripped with fear. Throughout motherhood, this fear has shown up in the form of a low rumbling anxiety as well as wake up in the night, paralyzing terror. Neither one proved helpful. 151