Ivette (17): Divorced Parents, Dropping Out of Her Apprenticeship, Pregnant – What Now?

Ivette’s youth was marked by her parents’ fighting and their divorce. Her relationship to them is rife with conflict. In the midst of all the chaos, even her apprenticeship fails: she drops out. And then, on top of that, she gets pregnant! Everything seems to be going wrong in her life. What now?

Thanks to the support of the SAMC, Ivette is now a happy mother. (Staged photograph)

She thinks immediately of getting an abortion, but would like to talk everything through first. She finds the SAMC in the internet, and takes contact with the helpline.

A Tricky Situation

Over countless discussions, the counsellor gets to know more about Ivette’s complicated circumstances: She is 7 weeks pregnant. Her boyfriend, the baby’s father, is still in training. After the divorce, she lived with her mother, but because there was always an atmosphere of conflict, she moved in with the parents of her boyfriend, despite the opposition of both her mother and her father. Due to this, neither will support her, which weighs on her.

She would keep her baby if she could, but she sees it as an obstacle to her education and career. From both her mother and her father she is told that she is too young to have her own child, and should abort.

Total Dedication of Her Counsellor

Ivette is glad when her counsellor offers to clear up the question of whether her parents need to support her or not. The counsellor researches the question, contacts authorities and consults with a lawyer. The bottom line: Her parents are not obliged to. Ivette is devastated. The counsellor is encouraging, and offers to work together with her parents and with the parents of her boyfriend to find a solution to the question of who would support her. Ivette agrees. However, despite the best of efforts, no solution is found. Ivette becomes even more discouraged.

The counsellor, however, remains at her side and shows her how solutions can be found for the problems pertaining to her support, living situation and education, even when she becomes a mother, and what kind of help she can expect from the SAMC. For the immediate future, she is offered financial help, and because of her desperate situation, exceptionally already while she is still pregnant.

The help she experienced over the weeks of clarification and mediation served to build Ivette’s trust in the SAMC. Because of this, she accepts this assistance and decides to keep her child.

Joy and Relaxation

Once this decision is made, Ivette is immensely relieved. She tells her counsellor that she is so glad to have chosen to keep her baby. «I am really looking forward to my child», she says, adding: «Without your advice and help, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my baby.»

In addition to the financial help, Ivette receives support in the acquisition of baby equipment and in looking for a new training position.

Luckily, the relationship between Ivette and her mother begins to get better. Even the contact with her father calms down. And last but not least, a possibility of an apprenticeship opens up for the time after her maternity leave.

Ivette eventually gives birth to a healthy baby boy. «We are thrilled», the new mother writes in the birth announcement sent to her counsellor.

Ivette still has many challenges to face, but the happy mother is better equipped to cope now than in the previous months of her depression, also because she knows that she and her baby can always count on the SAMC.