On Becoming a Man: Birthday Musings – It’s Reflection Time

Yes, we meet again in a bit. And, I feel old. No, I feel young. Honestly, I feel… I refuse to be confused!

Today, I hit the midpoint of the twenties and I get that feeling that I am not that young anymore. I remember birthday celebrations in the elementary school – the days of good ol’ Cabin biscuit packets and assorted sweets. The ideal was two packets, but if your parents were more financially comfortable, you had a big cake, three or even four square packets of Cabin and lots of chocolate to complement, plus Ribena or Caprisonne drinks for everyone. On rare occasions, when we had multiple celebrants, it was heaven on earth. At home, birthday parties in the neighbourhood were a delight, though sometime in Primary 6, an incident happened that made me stop attending such events. I had attended a friend’s younger sister’s birthday and we had done the usual MJ steps and all, but the celebrant’s mum made a passing comment that suggested I was probably the oldest kid at the event (of course there were some adults around), and it filtered into my ears. The shy ‘me’ who had made superb efforts to have fun could not allow it rest. Thus, began my overly bookish years in the secondary school. I decided to attend a Boys-only secondary school in order to focus on ‘the more important things’…

It’s been a long time since then – times have changed, and so have I in many respects. I am grateful to have grown beyond many of those puerile tendencies. I have learnt empathy and imbibed tolerance in large doses, giving room for other people’s imperfections. Leadership roles here and there have brought out the Sanguine who makes new acquaintances easily, yet tempered by the Mel-Phleg who can sieve from the multitude, the few candidates for deeper interactions and lasting relationships. I have learnt the value of true friendship and to never look down on any one, no matter how disadvantaged and hopeless their situations might be in the interim. I have learnt to win, even when I lose – to keep the rich lessons, relationships, skills and gifts discovered and honed even when I do not achieve an ultimate goal. I have learnt to be compliant with Zig Ziglar’s observation that you can only have everything you want by helping as many people as you can possibly help to obtain everything they want. In line with my last post, I have learnt to grab some courage! I totally agree with international bestselling author of “The Leader Who Had No Title”, Robin Sharma who says, “The things that are hardest to do are often the things that are the best to do.” I have learnt to be humble and unassuming, to fear God and trust Him in all situations – that has been a pretty difficult one as I have failed several times, allowing worry and anxiety to step in. Many times, I have felt like Simon Peter who denied Jesus Christ three times and only remembered after the cockcrow. I often imagine the Holy Spirit smiling and shaking His head, whispering, “I told you not to worry. As long as it is God-approved, it will come to pass! All izz well!” I have learnt to form independent opinions, play football, share banters and laugh out loud – beyond Facebook or Twitter. Still I am not perfect, far from it.

I remember the cliché: that the older we grow, the closer we draw to the grave. We ought to approach this reality with calmness. It should make us seek and walk in the most important reason we are here on earth. When we discover WHY we are still here on earth, a new light flashes into the pervasive darkness and confusion, and life becomes much more meaningful. Our value system is recalibrated, and the need to achieve a cause greater than ourselves becomes the driving force. Since the cause is greater than ourselves, we seek a greater power and enablement which comes from only God. The Psalmist prays that God would teach us to number our days and apply our hearts unto wisdom. In other words, we ought to take a sincere account of our lives – our moral flaws – , consider the brevity and uncertainty of life, and conduct our lives wisely. We ought to live like we would if we when, and where, and how we would die. This way, we would acquaint ourselves with God, be at peace and live with eternity in view.

As this post goes live, I head to one of the remote villages in Benue State, where I am trying to make a case for the people and get some development under way. My heart is there and I want to make my little contribution. Hopefully, I will get some people who share a similar passion to join hands soon. That’s where the parry’s at!

In concluding this episode of the bi-monthly OBM series, I leave you with this Ted talk by Rick Warren, best-selling author of “The Purpose Driven Life”. Shallom!

Gbenga Awomodu is an Editorial Assistant at Bainstone Ltd./BellaNaija.com. When he is not reading or writing, Gbenga is listening to good music or playing the piano. Follow him on Twitter: @gbengaawomodu | Gbenga’s Notebook: www.gbengaawomodu.com | Facebook Page: Gbenga Awomodu

OMG! You just hid the mid twenties?! You sound, abi na write sef, so mature. I enjoy your OBM series. It’s quite insightfull. Hmmm, mid twenties! There goes the image In haqd in mind. Happy birthday Gbenga. May the new year bring untold blessings. May your journey to Benuw be fruitful.

lovely piece Gbenga…and indeed life is a beautiful journey to be enjoyed and not endured. I especially love this point in your piece – ‘I have learnt to win, even when I lose’…and that, is one big fat secret you just shared with us. Happy birthday and May God bless you beyond measure!

Hello Gbenga, first off, happy birthday to you! I’m presently in Benue state (Otukpo) been here for almost 2 years. Very interesting piece you wrote. Would love to meet you, maybe do some highlight on the case you’re doing there, as I work with a radio station(Joy Fm).

Happy birthday bro! Nice piece and its good to know you r not as old as u think …lol you have put ur gift to good use and u av become a blessing in many ways from what i read. God bless u and keep u. thumbs up

Can I honestly just go ahead and kiss you without seeming a tad forward?

Your life lessons are my life lessons and I believe those lessons have always been out there for anyone who’s patient and intuitive enough to learn them. My birthday’s tomorrow and so I celebrate with you, March bro! Happy Birthday & may your path be always directed by God. xx

Beautiful write up and very inspiring as always. It was kind of you to end it with the powerful message from Rick Warren. I pray you experience many more beautiful years on earth and that your path shines even brighter everyday. Please, give more information about the project in Benue State, so we know how to support or get people to support.

THANK MAN,NICE READ.WE ALL NEED A DOSE OF IT ONCE IN A WHYL TO SHAKE US UP.EACH TYM I FEEL DOWN I PULL OUT MY PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE N READ IT ALL OVA AGAIN,IT HAS A WAY OF LIFTIN ME UP.THAT BOOK IS RILY STH ELSE N I RECOMMEND IT TO EVRY ONE. THANKS MAN,