After three years in Hong Kong, Seattleite Elizabeth Kain relocated to Beijing with her husband and five-year-old daughter. She is happy to share her fortunes and misfortunes as she immerses herself in Chinese culture, history and especially food!

Two years of joy

Last week marked two years since we adopted our daughter, Elisa. While in Seattle earlier this month, we celebrated our joy and good fortune at having her in our life with eight of the other ten families with whom we traveled to China in June, 2005. One of the families opened their home and 18 adults, our nine girls and ten siblings descended upon them for a day of good food and excellent company.

I had recently reviewed pictures from our fateful trip to Nanchang, the provincial capital of JiangXi Province, China. What a delight to see these nine girls, transformed from scared, pale, undernourished infants into happy, healthy, toddlers. The nine families who were able to attend the gathering had a great time catching up on events of the last year and genuinely enjoying each other’s company.

This was not always the case. In 2005, eleven families gathered as strangers when we were told to meet in the lobby of Nanchang’s Lakeview Hotel on June 26 at 3:00 pm to go get our babies. Jet lagged and anxious, I did not anticipate the bond that would develop among this group of people. Our coordinator, Lin, introduced herself and gave us an overview of what our two weeks in China would entail before inviting us to board two shuttle buses that would take us to the Civil Affairs Bureau where we would meet our daughters. Husbands videotaped wives and vice versa as we rode the short distance from the hotel to the government office. As a reflection of our introverted selves, Erik and I sat quietly on the bus, holding hands and exchanging nervous smiles, not knowing what to expect.

We gathered outside a nondescript building and plunged from bright sunlight into darkness as we entered and ascended a flight of stairs. The darkness was punctuated by the sounds of 11 wailing infants heard in the distance. Our babies. My eyes adjusted as we walked down a long corridor and emerged into a room filled with Chinese nannies, sitting around the exterior of the room and holding a sobbing infant under each arm. Erik and I searched the tearful, frightened faces for our daughter, but it was impossible to relate any of these tear-stained, terrified faces to the three photographs we were given 3 months earlier.

Finally, one of the orphanage workers approached us and pointed, “That is your daughter, but you are not allowed to hold her until the orphanage director officially hands her over to you.” We squatted down to look eye to eye with this wee little creature, who was not crying but rather cautiously observing the scene unfolding before her.

We were sent to an adjoining room to wait for the orphanage director to call our names and watched other couples step forward and receive their babies. The Director seemed to offer a one or two word summary to each approaching couple. We nervously chuckled as she handed over one baby to a family with these words, “She cried… a lot!” Lin looked our direction as the director called our name. We stepped forward, Erik with the video camera and I with open arms as she handed us Elisa and said, “She’s a good baby! Good baby!”

Until that day, I had never changed a diaper or prepared a bottle. While trying to feed my new baby, I learned that I had purchased the the wrong sized nipples. But of course none of this mattered. I looked at Elisa, whose eyes went from me to Erik and back again. She made a clicking sound with her tongue, which I imitated for the greatest reward, a smile. By the time we left the CAB that afternoon, we were in love.

The next two weeks were a blur of completing Chinese and then American paperwork, learning to change diapers and preparing bottles (and securing nipples that actually fit the bottles – thanks to Marika, one of the more experienced mothers). We were too excited to sleep and spent our time watching our new baby’s every move. We did not have time to get to know many of the other families and when we left Guangzhou two weeks later, I did not know when or if I would see them again.

Of course, much to my pleasure, I did see them again and in the last two years I have been grateful to this wonderful group of people with whom Erik and I share so much. People love to look at our families and tell us how lucky our babies are to have been adopted. Only we can fully understand the truth, that we are the lucky ones and adopting our girls has brought us a joy and happiness that – when we are in each other’s company – requires no explanation.