Thursday, April 10, 2008

Nice Guys Finish Last

I was talking to one of my friends a week ago.

He is in the midst of chasing the girl of his dreams and doing all sorts of really sweet things for her and he was extremely nice, did everything for her… would even drive to her home and pick up her mobile phone and drop it off at her office when she forgot to bring it to work one day.

That’s from SS2 all the way to the Petronas Twin Towers ok?One day out of the blue I told him“Hey I know it’s hard when you’re so into the girl, but careful to not be too nice to her ok? She might take you for granted”.

The genius went back to tell the girl that “Timothy Tiah said that I should not be too nice to you but you see I am still nice to you” (the sausageless sonofabitch used my name to score brownie points with this girl he’s chasing).

Someone needs to get him one of these.No wait.. he doesn't deserve such a long one.

Get him one of these short ones.The girl then rang me up and gave me a damn scolding and she’s not talking to me ever again. FARKING HELL DUDE.. YOU DON’T SELL OUT A BROTHER LIKE THAT!

I didn’t mean to mess things up for her but I have learned albeit the easy way that nice guys DO finish last.

Take for example a friend of mine named Charlie.

Charlie comes from a really really wealthy background. The wealth he inherited made sure that he and his children will never need to work a day in his life. To add to that, Charlie is an extremely humble and nice guy.

He drives a damn Mercedes SL55 all around KL and pretty much lives the life of a socialite. He doesn’t work much, though he does say he’s involved in some ‘side business’. Anyway, Charlie has everything going for him... except the love life part.

Maybe his physical looks affect that and I don’t know how to say this but to be as polite as possible I’m going to say that he ain’t exactly Dr. McDreamy.He’s also really really nice to girls. Nice as in he would do anything for them.

Spend all his time and money on any of them that would give him enough attention.

Problem is that because he’s so nice, pretty girls hang out with him all the time and while he doesn’t always admit it, more often that not, he’s with them because he wants to be more than friends.

And when I say more than friends, I mean like this.Now it has been pretty unfair for Charlie.

Every time he brings a new pretty girl out with his friends… the girl, whoever she is sooner or later falls for one of his friends and gets attached. When the girl gets attached, she disappears and Charlie is left to find another girl.

There was one girl that Charlie really liked that really took him for a ride.

Let’s call her Vivian.

I met Vivian for the first time about 6 months ago at DELIcious in Bangsar Village.

It was a joke!

When I saw them in the distance walking towards me, Charlie was walking in front, carrying a hell load of shopping bags like thisand a few steps behind him was Vivian walking slowly as if the world was watching.

Naturally the first thing I said to Charlie was“WAH!! WHAT THE HELL YOU BUY?!? SO MANY THINGS!”

And his reply to me was“No lah.. not mine.. I bought for Vivian”.

So there was Charlie, carrying more bags than his two hands could carry and Vivian just strolling around not even lifting anything but her LV bag.

After dinner I had a chat with Charlie on MSN. I said “DUDE…. Why are you acting like the girl's butler? I know you like her but seriously… you ain’t gonna get to do anything more than carry her bags if you act like you ain’t got no balls strapped on”.

Charlie didn’t say much. He just went “okay… okay”.

3 months after that (or 3 months ago), I learned that Vivian found someone else leaving Charlie alone. Charlie had not only been bringing her shopping, driving her around KL in his sports car like a chauffer but even taking her to all the expensive restaurants to eat expensive stuff like abalonebut in the end, he got nothing out of it. Yes nothing… no hug, no kiss, no holding hands, no handjob, no…. nothing.

This revelation made me think of another friend I have who is quite a player. Lets call him Jake.

One day I was hanging out with him at his place, doing nothing but talking cock like guys sometimes do. Suddenly his phone rang. He picked it up, looked at the number and showed it to me while shaking his phone from left to write with his thumb and his index finger.

Jake said,“Eh Tim… check this out… hot chick hot chick!”

On the screen was the name“Cheryl”.

I smiled at him but my smile disappeared in the next 3 seconds when he threw his phone back on the table and said“I’m BUSY”.

She called another two times that night, but he ignored the call eventhough he had nothing better to do.He said he’ll call her back the next morning. And he told me.“You must never be always available for the girl”.

Of course this applies only when you’re chasing a girl. If you have a girlfriend… please treat her nice. You should be done with all the games by then.

Today Charlie admits that there’s a downside for being too nice with the women he hung out with and he’s trying to change.

Good luck Charlie!

And to the sausageless brother who sold me out… I hope you she buys you a ball and chain for Christmas because you really ought to have one.

ask ur friend to read the book "the game" by neil strauss. might help him out a bit. ;) having said that, takes 2 to clap lar. i know he's really nice n all but it doesnt take a genius to filter out the nice girls lor. :Pgood luck to him though. everyone deserves a chance to be loved. :)

pssst, if charlie is still available, intro him to me :p i'll be sure to give him a hug at least :D after some marathon shopping and lots of bird nest and abalone hahahgosh, i can't believe there are still such straightforward honest, no i mean stupid guys existed.. sigh, they deserve so much better

Boss, can't just blame the guy lar.. Some of the chicks out there are to blame also right? Stringing along the 'nice guy', screwing him over multiple times then leaving him high and dry with balls bluer than a frozen corpse's little toe... I say nice guys should continue being nice, it's the sistahood that needs to learn to appreciate them!

well well...as a matter of fact, getting a girl is always easier than losing them! X'P

The truth is, every girl wants an interesting guy. A guy with confidence. A guy who would stand up to you and tell you that you're wrong (not everytime la)A guy who flirts but never came close to obeying you like your house dog.

This is where the bad boys come in. They may have the bad attitude, but hey, we can't blame them..they have attitude!! Those criteria above has somewhat been fulfilled although they are not nice.

Compare with the 'nice' guys.No confidence. A Mr. Yes guy who frustrate you because he always say yes, making you feel like talking to a wall.A guy who never say anything bad or interesting other than plain flattery. A guy who sometimes whine and complain in the midst of a soon-to-be interesting date. A guy who obeys you like a lap dog. Oh gosh, you already had one at home, you think.

So who would have the advantage? I can blog non-stop for a month about it, and that would definitely boost my traffic along with that, but still, the 'nice' guys would never change. *sigh*

From: A guy who had been nicked the Flirt King but decided to go monogamous not so long ago.

"Hence, the girl I will eventually end up with need not be really pretty.

She need not be cute. She need not be hot. She need not be sexy.

The one thing she needs to be though is strong and committed.

Strong enough to give me her strength when I am down... and committed enough to sit with me through the storm."31 March 2008

After reading your entry today and being inspired from previous entries, a thought occured to me. Why are we always looking for the perfect woman and what qualities make a perfect woman to be our soul mate.hence, i would be honoured if i could start the ball rolling on what i think are qualities that woman of our generation should consider obtaining.

Qualities of a gf/wife.

1) Not dragging you shopping everyday or weekend and make you answer stupid questions (eg the red or the black look better on me? does this dress make me look fat?)2) Going shopping on her own and spending her own money to buy her own stuff whilst buying a small treat for you when she returns (PS3, Xbox WII, Iphone, a new game, FHM magazine, new sexy underwear for your eyes only)3) going to look for you by herself without you going to drive all the way to look for her and wait another 2 hours for her to get ready4) Allow you to go out with whom ever, when ever and where ever without CALLING YOU ON YOUR MOBILE 5 MINS AFTER YOU LEFT THE HOUSE ASKING WHAT TIME YOU ARE COMING BACK HOME4) like your brothers/buddies5) Make you like her god (i.e make you look good) in front of your brothers/buddies (thus generating a chain reaction of envy from your brother telling their gf that they should be more like your gf hence creating an environment of jealousy amonsgt your brothers' gf)6) Ensuring that there is always freshly cooked food for you, that your clothes are ironed/folded, house is in regimental regulation cleaniness and keeping the fridge stocked up on beer/soft drinks and chipster for your EPL/NBA/F1/Wresting matches7) Sitting quietly next to you as to not disturb you when you are watching your favourite sports show or playing computer games and fetch your beer/drink/chipster on demand8) a desireably willingness to ***relax*** you whenever,whereever and however and a desireably willingness to want to experiment new things / object / positions / method / environment to assist in your ***relaxation process***9) idolise your manhood as believes that there is the only one that will bring her to the heaven and nothing else can satisfy her ever10) Admit that she is wrong and you are RIGHT!

At the end of the day, all we can do is dream.....

*******************

as for the ladies, there is no such thing as a prefect man. it is a fable, a myth. because no matter how good/perfect we are,there is always something that should be better. too much time spend in starbuck doing nothing, too much shopping, too much gossiping too much mahjong sessions too much reading stupid female magazines and not enough time spent on cleaning, ironing, cooking and on your back.

n yes, girls that takes advantage of guys like poor charlie are bitches n deserves the worst karma on earth when they finally settle down n get married... (maybe like married a wrong husband that treat them like dirt!) I totally believe in karma man... Never do things to people that u urself wouldnt like if someone were to do that to you...

I wish Charlie all the best in his love life... and yeah, ur sausageless friend really no sausage la..

sigh.sometimes gals who r too nice also no guys want.if any of you had watch the bausch & lomb commercial series which was aired recently on ntv7,about the same kinda story lar.girl prefer the jerk and left the nice guy.well,at least i'm not one of those kinda gals.i'm committed to a real nice guy now.boss stewie,pity u lar.

I'm always looking for nice girls la.. And I think I'm just like Charlie, minus the SL55 and crapload of wealth la..

Anyway, I've been through 2 nice but not lasting relationship, makes me sort of don't wanna jump into any more relationships hastily now. Better find someone who will truly appreciate you than getting someone for the sake of getting someone.

no matter how nice a person is, there ought to be boundaries in order for one to respect charlie. if he thinks that buying her things helps his esteem, that's a very passive response. hey! it's not about not being available for the girl always :s funny la how come guys wanna jual mahal just for the sake of it. just know when to say no. that's it laaa. test the girl if that's what it takes to know her better.

It would almost be amusing if it wasn't so tragic. Nice guy meets girl, nice guy likes girl, nice guy gets really close and comfortable with girl but girl's response is she is very comfortable with nice guy, in fact never feels so comfy around a guy before but she never thought of that possiblity at all. When we are looking at a lifetime of togetherness, wouldn't the most comfortable person you are with be your perfect choice? I know mine is.

Here's a true story of a good guy vs a bad boy for the affection of the same girl.

A nice guy (NG) and a bad boy (BB) were fighting for the affection of this sweet young thing (SYT). Despite knowing that he has a rival, NG was determined to win fair and square, to know that he wins her heart because she really choose him for the way he makes her feels. BB told SYT the same thing, that he doesn't care who she choose as long as she is happy. Let's see how true his words are. When SYT's birthday approached, both guys naturally wanted to celebrate the special day with her. NG knows that BB would surely asked to her on her birthday. To make thing less complicated, he asked to see her on the eve of her birthday on a Saturday. BB has a company annual dinner to attend but that doesn't stop him from trying to sabotage that dinner. He gathered all his and her mutual ex-colleagues and tried to arrange a gathering on that very day. Fortunately, SYT kept her promise and joined NG for dinner that night but she has to rushed off to meet the rest later that night, cutting the dinner short and depriving NG of the chance he planned to used to confess his feeling. The colleagues undoubtfully are aware that BB is aftering SYT so it doesn't make sense that they would make plan for that night when it was inconvenient for BB to turn up. The only logical explanation is that BB made those arrangement. BB asked SYT alot about her days and is well aware of her everyday activities. SYT also constantly tell people how NG loves watching movies and how he wrote reviews on them later. BB reaction? Took her out to every summer movies that comes out that month so NG will not have a chance to ask her out. He went to the extreme of trying to watch a midnight movie, totally neglecting SYT's need for rest. Fortunately, she did not give in to his request. Despite knowing this, NG did not took the opportunity to avenge the previous sabotage. As he sees it, she agreed to watch that movie with BB so he will leave that as it is. After all, She already agreed to watch Harry Potter with NG, which is all that matter because he knows SYT is awaiting that movie. Of course, when BB found out, he went all out to press her to watch with him instead. Even though she turned him down, he went ahead and get that ticket anyway, claiming that it was a friend who got him those tickets (what bulls!). SYT has no choice but to give in, much to NG disappointment. In the end, NG not only lost that battle but also the war. Because he was always thinking for SYT, he never attempt to sabotage BB and always gives in when BB sabotaged him. NG never found out if the affection SYT showed earlier toward him is anything more than friendshipp. Nor did he has the opportunity to further develop his relationship with SYT. But what really add insult to injury is that he knows that he knows BB isn't honest but there is nothing he can do about it.Despite his claim, BB does not care as much for SYT's happiness as he does for his own as apparently, his top priority is SYT ended up choosing him. I know this reply is not directly relevant to the above post but when the subject of nice guy finish last comes out, I can't help but rant a little.

alamak. charlie bumps into player girl la. those that con your money and gives you nothing. knows that YOU are not the type yet go ahead with it.remedy1. diu its not that i ask you to spend on me2. eh i din say ill give commmitment3. ID NEVER SAY ILL EVEN LIKE YOUsee?

charlie is rich and thats the defect. i don think he have a chance to know decent girls. try driving in a saga and all..since his looks and money dont work..the last resort is act poor and find the real princess that'l accept whoever he is. MY FRIEND DID THIS HE FREAKING DID!and he scores. anywayGOOD LUCK CHUCK! hope u find a jessica alba type of girl soon!

Well...Nice guys won't be necessary the last. Guys like Charlie deserved girl better than Vivian. I like you post though...saying that "If you have a girlfriend… please treat her nice." This is so true.