Experienced the core of project management, product development as well as production and strategic planning over a 13 year period in a corporate environment

Assisted people on a personal and managerial level in creating meaningful goals and developing positive mental attitudes towards themselves and all areas of their lives.

He did this as a trained facilitator of Success Motivation International

Facilitated public and in-house corporate workshops while being part of the South African company representing the Franklin Covey Company. These workshops include The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; The 4 Roles of Leadership, First Things First. For this he went to the USA to become a certified facilitator, trained by senior members of Franklin Covey.

Master the skills of dissociation and association career success with Career Maker’s easy three step process.

A daily drama on our roads will help explain.

Imagine you are on your way to work. Can you just for a moment imagine responding with anger and attack to all the irrational and dangerous drivers? Picture the angry faces and hand signs being exchanged? You arrive at the office in a foul mood and that mood dictates your responses and contaminates the interactions you have with your colleagues, and by lunch time, you are all alone. You get home feeling like the people at work dislike and are avoiding of you.

We often fail at effective communication in everyday life when we respond to others within the context of negative events with the associated emotions and defences instead of dissociating and choosing effective means of interacting.

Andrew in (grade 1) came home complaining that Albert (in grade 7) and his friends were teasing him without stop!

Please think of a situation where someone got under your skin and dissociate using the same process as Andrew did.

I taught Andrew to put funny clothes, glasses and a funny hat with tingling bells on each of them in his mind’s eye. He then saw and heard them moving about in this funny outfit with funny sounds and imagined them speaking in funny ways, enhancing the image using the five sense of hearing, seeing, smelling, feeling and tasting. He breathed deeply and moved his fingers and toes to further relax and immersing himself in this intense enjoyable image in his minds eye.

He was already laughing about the situation.

We role played the scenario a few times and then he was let loose on his tormentors.

A few days later the older ones came home and complained that Andrew was laughing loudly when teased. They found this very disconcerting and somehow personal! The six year old were now dissociated and could easily laugh whenever he was teased.

The last step was for Andrew to up the ante and to take the game to a next level where he associated with the positive in the jokes and grew friendships lasting to this day!

I use the process all the time myself and in work team. We taught the process in all our companies as part of the new employee induction process.

When you associate or dissociate with people in a situation, remember that people intuitively use language based in their 5 senses. By being aware of the five senses and matching their sensory words with ones of your own e.g. I can see you are…/ I feel like you…/ What I hear you are saying is…, you can establish a deep level of trust and rapport through the communication of your understanding and the confirmation that what they are saying or feeling is being understood correctly.

Use these techniques responsibly – it’s powerful and so are you. So please be nice and act to expand your options.

We started off by asking:

Can you manoeuvre strategically to facilitate a desired outcome and thus expand your options for interactions in any circumstance?

The answer must be emphatically yes with the MASTERY of the right personal growth tools.

1) Write a few paragraphs about a recent pleasant experience (E.g. a holiday, party, film, day out etc.) When you’ve finished, go through it underlining words and phrases that have a sensory element (you can do the same with this NLP tip.)

2) Pay attention to the sensory words that people are using. Make notes of the sensory words you hear.

3) In a low-risk situation, listen to the words that others use then match their sensory system by using words from the same system (VAKOG).

I am of the opinion that the way I get along with my colleagues is very important for my success. What can you teach me about interpersonal skills?

You are right – this is a critical aspect of success. Effective interpersonal skills in your business life as well as your personal life are based on effective communication.

Your contribution and value-add depend in large measure upon your ability to communicate effectively with customers and team members, understanding their behavior and upon the nature of the relationship you maintain with them.

Equally important is your own self-awareness of how you respond to others and how you are perceived by your customers and team members.

This section of the book deals with the various tools and concepts that will assist you in managing Interpersonal relationships.

But first – let’s study the Mindmap.

Apply the process of Actions & Results rather than Analysis & Understanding.

Use your great personal capacity and gain in understanding of how and where you do your best work while you work; avoid focusing on analyzing yourself and once you understand you will do something. Take action and learn as you do, rather than analyzing, trying to understand and then doing.

Interpersonal skills:

7 habits of highly effective people

Growing the arena – The Johari window

Stimulus and response

Association and Dissociation

Finding common ground

Understanding DISC profiles

Feedback gap:

Stimulus and response

Responding to anger signals

Effective questioning

Productive listening

Association and dissociation

Effective interpersonal skills are based on effective communication

Chapter 5 p.1

I Ask

I am of the opinion that the way I get along with my colleagues is very important for my success. What can you teach me about interpersonal skills?

I Answer

You are right – this is a critical aspect of success. Good interpersonal skills in your business life as well as your personal life are based on effective communication.

Your contribution and value-add depend in a large measure on your ability to communicate effectively with customers and team members; understanding their behavior and respecting the nature of your relationship.

Equally important is your own self-awareness of how you respond to others and how you are perceived by your customers and team members.

I Explain

This section of the book deals with the various tools and concepts that will assist you in managing interpersonal relationships.

Apply the process of Actions & Results rather than Analysis & Understanding.

Use your great personal capacity and gain in understanding of how and where you do your best work; avoid focusing on analyzing yourself and thinking that once you understand yourself you will do something.

Take action and learn as you do, rather than analyzing, trying to understand and then doing.

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