I've known this guy for what seems like forever. I'm 16 years old, though this might seem young I think that heartache seeks no age. I've liked him since I was eleven and still do up to this day. Whether he feels the same way or not is left unknown.

my story starts here

He was my neighbour for 10 years before we started talking & then one summer he came over and since then we've been talking. Time past and we told each other that we liked one another, if only things could go back to then where innocence prevailed and life was less complicated, if only.

We talked everyday till school reopened and I was so preoccupied with work that I hardly use to go outside. Thus out of ignorance and immaturity this guy thought I stopped liking him. Time passed and both he and I stopped talking. Until one day I mustered up the courage and wrote him a letter telling him how I felt, we always stop talking and then continue after time.

Some years past and then in my 15th year he and I grew closer again talking more often and sharing family secrets. All this time he had a girlfriend and to me she meant nothing because I thought what they had could never come close to what we shared. He eventually broke up with her and told me that he wanted to take our friendship to a next level (inside I was screaming because for so long all I ever wanted to hear him say were those words that he liked me) but as the saying goes actions speak louder than words. The answer I gave was to the extent that I wanted to be his girlfriend but I didn't blatantly say so. One week later I got one of my friends to call him and lead him on and he bought it. I was so humiliated and my insecurities kicked in. I don't know why exactly I let my friend continue with it but I did and she told him one day she knew me. He was shocked and avoided me for some time but when I finally came face to face with him I said nothing and acted as if I was okay with what happened. Since that incident things have been pretty unpredictable between he and I, I just keep letting him play with my emotions. I've made out with him several times knowing that he had girlfriends but he always says otherwise. I seriously think that I have been emotionally scared by this guy maybe through faults of my own. But for the first time in my life
I've decided to take a stand and stop degrading myself after coming to the realisation that I am better than that person I was portraying and that I deserve better and don't need to share no guy with other girls.

I've liked him since I was eleven and I still do and probably always will but I took a stand and realised that I needed to draw the line between friendship and my emotions and have become a wiser and better person out of my experiences with him.