Frequently Asked Questions From Five Years of Sex Blogging

I’m amazed to say that this blog is five years old today. If my blog were my child, it’d be telling simple stories in full sentences, singing and dancing, and doing somersaults. If my blog were my spouse, we’d be exchanging wood-related gifts this year (I like to think I’d buy it a NobEssence dildo and it’d buy me a wooden bathtub caddy so I could journal in the bath). But my blog is a blog, so instead of doing any of those things, I’m gonna answer some of the most common questions I’ve been asked about sex blogging in the past five years. It’s been a wild journey…

The Lelo Ida repeatedly made me scream in pain and utterly distressed my then-partner. After finishing my review, I triumphantly threw the toy on my bedroom floor and didn’t pick it up for months afterward, because every time I looked at it, I was filled with such disdain that I didn’t even want to lift it to a less degrading position. Also, there was the time a glass egg got stuck in my vagina…

What’s your favorite toy?

For years, that title belonged to the Eroscillator; then it shifted to the Eleven; now the Double Trouble is firmly my favorite. When I ask partners who know me well to fuck me with a toy, they don’t even have to ask which one to grab. When I travel, I leave my Dub Trubz at home because I’m scared to death of an airline losing it, and sometimes I even make arrangements to borrow sex blogger friends’ Double Troubles at my destination. I’ve been asked, more than once, about the DT, “Why don’t you marry it?!” Our love is a deep, sweet, and enduring one.

What made you want to start a sex blog?

When I graduated high school, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had interests and talents in a lot of disparate fields – music, theatre, writing, sex ed, audio production – but none of them particularly called to me as my Career. So I took a year off to gather my thoughts before committing to a post-secondary program. During that year, I applied to lots of jobs, one of which was a sales associate position at my local feminist sex shop Good For Her. They didn’t hire me, but in the process of applying, I did some research to beef up my sex toy knowledge and stumbled upon sex toy review blogs like Epiphora’s and Lilly’s. I thought, “Hey, I could do that!” and thus Girly Juice was born. Later that year, I decided to go back to school for journalism, my passion for writing having been reignited.

How do you make money from your blog?

Lots of different ways! Sometimes companies pay me to write sponsored posts about their product or business; sometimes they pay to advertise in my sidebar or on my social media; and I also make commissions when readers buy products through my affiliate links. (Want more info about any of these income streams? My policies page‘ll give you the lowdown.) This blog has also led to other opportunities for me, like writing assignments and speaking gigs, which bring in some money.

What do your parents think of what you do?

They are totally, 100% fine with it. Which is fortunate, since I currently live with them and it would be awkward to have to make up excuses for all the boxes of sex toys I receive in the mail! Neither of them read my blog regularly (in fact, I don’t think my dad has ever even seen it), but they both completely approve of my work and are proud I’m doing well at something I feel passionate about.

So are you only on this [date/online dating platform] to gather fodder for your blog?

People ask me this on Tinder or OkCupid sometimes and it always throws me for a loop, because, hey, sex bloggers are people too; we have social and sexual needs, like most other people! While I do often write about my romantic and sexual experiences, I don’t seek out those experiences just to have something to write about. I seek them out for the joy and adventure they add to my life, same as anyone else.

How many sex toys do you own?

Depending on how broad or narrow your definition of a “sex toy” is (e.g. does sex furniture count? Do impact-play pervertables count? Do leather restraints count?), the number is currently somewhere between 150 and 200. The full list is here, although I’d guess I’ve given/traded away about a quarter of that stuff, so my toybox list is longer than the actual contents of my collection.

Do you need vibrators to have an orgasm?

Nope. About 6% of the orgasms I’ve had so far in 2017 have been achieved with fingers only. And I do occasionally come from partners’ mouths or hands. But I find I achieve orgasms more easily, quickly, and consistently when a vibrator is involved, so I use them most of the time. Not doing so would feel to me like stubbornly refusing to wear glasses because they’re “not natural,” even though they improve my quality of life.

Don’t your partners feel emasculated if you use toys with them?

In all my life as a vibrator-lovin’ slut, I’ve only had partners raise objections to my vibrator usage twice, ever – and in both cases, it was more a logistical issue than an inadequacy issue (less “Your vibe makes me feel replaced” and more “Your vibe feels weird on my dick” or “Your vibe is getting in the way”). Truth be told, I don’t tend to bang the type of person who would take issue with a vibrator, and whenever anyone does, it kills my attraction to them pretty quick. Good partners just want to give you pleasure in any way they can. All my favorite partners have understood intuitively that sex toys are a tool they can use to make me feel good, not an external force that takes over their job.

(FYI: a survey of college-age men, cited in the book Becoming Cliterate by Dr. Laurie Mintz, found that ninety-five percent of respondents either had incorporated a vibrator into sex with a female partner or would be interested in doing so. This stat is in line with my own experiences of using vibrators with male partners.)

How did you become so confident in your sexuality?

I’m surprised by how often I get asked this! I’m pretty open about the fact that I’m not always confident about my sexuality: I have a lot of sexual anxieties, I sometimes struggle with kink-shaming myself, and I’m still shaking off culturally-induced guilt about “not deserving” pleasure or orgasms. But when I have made strides toward sexual confidence, it’s usually been because of the influence of my many sex-positive friends and mentors. Surrounding yourself with people who hold the attitudes you wish you held is an enormously powerful thing to do.

Have you ever tried the Sybian?

Yup. I didn’t like it. Too buzzy and broad for my tastes. Here are some pictures of me eating pizza while sitting astride Epiphora’s Sybian.

So you just get sent whatever sex toys you want, for free?

Not really. Sometimes I request certain toys I want and companies send them, but more often, companies offer me a toy that needs reviewing and I can either accept it or decline. There have been many times when I’ve desperately wanted a toy and had to buy it myself because no shops/companies needed that particular toy reviewed or were willing to send it to a reviewer.

So do you just masturbate all the time?

I masturbate about 5-6 times a week, on average. (Gosh, it’s very satisfying that I have an orgasm spreadsheet now so I can actually calculate stats like this!) Most of those are “leisure wanks” rather than “work wanks,” because I can’t always be arsed to risk ruining my orgasm with some random toy I have to test. But I do try to test toys I’m reviewing at least 5 times before writing my review, so I’ll be able to paint an accurate picture of the toy.

Do you ever get sick of sex toys?

I work at a sex shop part-time in addition to running this blog, so you would think that I would… but nope, still love ’em! Sometimes I get tired of answering the same questions over and over again, fielding the same old misconceptions, and advocating for my right to be treated with respect as a Woman Who Does Sexy Things Online, but the work and the toys themselves don’t get old for me.

How long do you think you’ll keep writing your blog for?

I’m five years in and don’t feel remotely like I’m running out of steam – I still have new blog post ideas practically every day, and am still rabidly curious about sex, kink, and relationships. I’ll stop writing this blog when it stops feeling fun, but I can’t imagine why that would ever happen.

Thanks for sticking with me all these years, babes! I love you and I’m so happy I get to write for you.

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Congrats on 5 years! I’ve loved seeing you change a bit in your writing, but loved even more moving from the ambigous-blue-tank-topped-torso to KATE. So thrilled that you’re secure and happy with this blog 5 years in; I wasn’t in the same position at my 5-year mark and it was a bit distressing. I would be genuinely sad to see you go, too.