Mamma Mia

What a scary session. My first time as a chairperson, and although people have been very polite, I don’t think I did that well. I know I didn’t, because a very cross woman from the audience roared up to me afterwards with a complaint. ‘I couldn’t hear a word you said,’ she roared. ‘You have no right to be a chair if you don’t know how to use a microphone. I’m going to complain, and so are lots of other people.’ Horrors. My friend in the audience had been trying to warn me, pointing repeatedly at her ear and shaking her head, but did I take any notice? No, because I know my friend is more or less deaf, so I just went on, leaning backwards, swaying about, miles from the microphone. But the others seemed to have got the hang of it. Cosmo Landesman spoke loudly and clearly, William Sutcliffe and Olivia Lichtenstien spoke fluently in a fascinating way, and who knows whether I spoke at all? Perhaps I did, perhaps I didn’t. ‘You were very good,’ said the more supportive persons, but they would, wouldn’t they? They’re not going to say ‘You’re a complete drek and spoke in a whisper.’ Then we did the podcast with Jason Solomons, who spoke fabulously and so did everyone else, but did I? I shall never know, because I daren’t listen to the podcast.

Michele Hanson

Posted by Michele Hanson. Michele Hanson is the author of Age of Dissent , about growing old, Treasure and What Treasure Did Next, all originally published as columns in The Guardian.