Q. Why doesn't Rockford have a professional football team?
A. Because then Chicago would want one.
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Q. Where do you go in Chicago in case of a tornado?
A. Soldier Field - they never get a touchdown there.
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Breaking News: The Department of Homeland Security has issued a Bears Fans Riot Warning. This Riot will start Sunday afternoon and continue until next season. Packer Fans will be evacuated into the the safety of the end zone, as the Bear fans dont know where this location is.
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The three bears had been having some trouble recently and ended up in family court. Momma and Poppa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.

So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents.

When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said "No, I can't live with Poppa bear, he beats me terribly."

It's been determined the Vikings blow and the bears suck.
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The Chicago Bears football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Lovie Smith immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to
players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season.
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OK, my two cents. I don't care how Cutler acts in front of the media as long as he can win, which he isn't in the big games, maybe next year, I still think he has great potential and the best thing the Bears have had as a quarterback for 50 years, I couldn't stand McMahan, talk about a big jerk, wow, how people forget, don't get me started on him. I have some personal knowlege about that moron.

Anyway, my take is that the coaching staff blew the game, if they would have put Hanie in there for the number two quarterback, they may have been able to tie it up. How can you put a 37 year old quarterback in the game that can't move around against an aggressive/ blitzing defense-STUPID, Clearly, it was for a stupid reverse call on 3rd and 4, when they were marching down the field, that may have caused them the game. All is on the coaches as far as I am concerned. Yes, the packers won, certainly not by a lot. The big, powerful g.b. offense scored 14 points.

I'll be fishing on the White River in 5 days, my season is over, I can live with that. Most teams were out three weeks ago, as far as the Super Bowl,

I went back and dug this out of our Lighter Side thread from back in 2006:
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When babies are born, they have to apply to God and pay him for brains that he gets from people who have died. They have to pay God by the ounce. One day 3 babies are born at the same time and go to God to ask for brains.

Baby1 asks God for brains to be a Packer fan. God tells him that'll be $1,000 per ounce, and the baby pays God and moves to Green Bay.

Baby2 asks God for brains to be a Cowboy fan. God tells him that'll be $100,000 per ounce, and the baby pays God and moves to Texas.

Baby3 asks God for brains to be a Bears fan. God tells him that'll be $1Million per ounce. Baby3 says to God, "Why so much? The Packer baby only had to pay $1,000 and the Cowboy baby only had to pay $100,000. Why do I have to pay $1Million to be a Bear fan?"
And God says to Baby3, "do you know how many Bear fans have to die for me to collect an ounce of brains?"