Phiya Kushi's Blog: Musings on life and macrobiotics

Friday, December 25, 2009 (Christmas 2009)

Okay, I have to admit that I have been remiss in my promise to blog every day. It started from the time I took a trip to New Jersey a couple of weeks ago. Since then I have not found the time or inspiration to write anything and I didn’t want to populate my blog with excuses of not writing. This exercise has made me appreciate the dedication and commitment of the wonderful Sharlene Rough (see: http://www.macrobioticsandme.com/living-the-macro-life-my-blog/2009/day-22-23/) whose blog originally inspired me to write in mine every day. Well, it turns out that I can’t do it. While she continues blogging everyday, essentially keeping a food journal, I have been way too arrogant by trying to write overly dramatic entries that emotionally expose me in the hopes of feeding my over-inflated ego. The problem is that, for me, writing such entries takes much more than one day. It’s a stark realization of who I am: an overly optimistic boor of a man with delusions of grandeur who dreams and promises too much and delivers too little. So I have a choice here which is to either recommit to blogging everyday no matter what meaningless drivel comes out, or to restate my commitment to be more inline with what has been happening these past couple of weeks. The advantages of the former choice is that it forces me to maintain a daily routine – something that I am not very good at doing. The latter choice gets me off the hook and allows me the freedom and flexibility to be – well – to be me. The choice is more or less obvious – I will write when I please and whenever inspiration strikes me. Meanwhile, I have nothing but the utmost respect for Sharlene and her dedication.

While I may not have been able to keep up with my writing, I have continued to keep my commitment to abstain from alcohol. I have been to several meetings and have heard a number of incredible and humbling stories. I am developing a greater understanding of what is spirituality and how to achieve inner peace and how it relates to macrobiotics and the greater goal of creating of a peaceful world. One conclusion that I will share is that peace, goodwill and happiness can never forced upon by one person to another. This not only includes any type of force from political, religious teaching or social system of justice but also over-bearing parenting and dysfunctional interpersonal relationships. Spiritual awakening and true inner happiness can only arise from a foundation of sustained self-acquired social and personal freedom. It can only be acquired by one’s own volition and continued effort. Yet, real freedom cannot be fully appreciated and, therefore, sought after and attained until one experiences and suffers a certain level of unwanted oppression, be it forced upon them by others, self-imposed or by the natural decay of life itself. There is much more about this to write but I will save it for another day! Happy holidays!

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I also am happy with your decision to write when the mood hits you, because what you do write is always so powerful. We cannot force anything on anyone, yet neither can we live oblivious of others – we do impact, we may never know how – sometimes it may not even be what we intend. Life is strange indeed.

Your sincerity about your feelings touches me. To me it is an example for the leaders. There is many time I don´t believe anymore in the superiority of the leaders (or maybe in over-inflated egoes, as you say). I just reverence those who are able to be close to people, to humility and to honesty as life is a path to constant inner-growing that never ever ends.
Thanks for sharing.