Called and sent

I’m just back from working a Cursillo weekend — held in a retreat house on what is truly holy ground. As I participated in the closing mass yesterday, my thoughts wandered once again to Susan’s Ascension posting. At the conclusion of a weekend, the participants are sent forth to carry what they have learned during the weekend. A weekend is often like getting to the mountain top and wanting to stay there looking up. What a wonderful coincidence that our diocese, like almost all in the United States, celebrated the Ascension on Sunday.

My weekend was fruitful despite being a bit tiring. When I made the weekend as a pilgrim about 10 years ago, I was in a not so good place in my life. I could barely hear what I was being told. I was pretty much miserable. So, once again, on Thursday night I listened to the call to know myself (for about the 6th time), and I started a new cycle in this spiral that I am walking. 10 years ago, I didn’t have a clue where to start – I was essentially scared by my own shadow. Now, I look at myself, and my life and realize that there are still things that don’t make any sense, situations and issues that seem to resolve to conflicting solutions. Where I have grown is that somehow, it’s just uncomfortable now instead of terrifying. It seems the spiral will continue to cycle, but at least it’s a spiral instead of just a circle that never grows closer.

And so – yes, I look up to try to see where Jesus has gone before I turn to walk and look for him in the people I meet, work with, live with and sometimes love, day after day.