Cook Spook

Well, that’s Nigella Lawson up there.

I’m sitting here watching AFC, watching Vivien Tan cooking on the rooftop of some Singapore skyscraper, and began to wonder why can’t Malaysia cook up a cooking program like this, or like Nigella’s. With the exception of Chef Wan, there isn’t anything worth watching. Every single ‘celebrity’ chef will be addressing the audience with the formality of a minister.

Don’t talk about camera angles, la. I doubt that they use MCP. Probably just a single camera and the cameraman’s somewhere in the cafetaria outside having coffee. Sometimes you have a chef cooking something, and they will put an actor or actress as a co-host of the show. And while the chef speaks in that formal tone as per above, you get this bimbo co-host parroting every single word because he/she hasn’t got as much as a rat’s ass-sized idea of what’s happening. Well, I cannot blame them since a squid would probably have a higher IQ than they.

Recently, Wifey pointed out to me that for the month of Ramadhan, they have a religious teacher as a co-host on one of RTM1’s cooking program. And while this chef is busy trying to explain to the audience about the process of cooking a meal, you have this ustaz giving lectures on morality and religion. What cow-shit-for-brain producer came out with that concept? Such a turn-off, that. Imagine this:

Go eat the bleeding kulit bawang, you plonk! Why can’t this plonk of an ustaz do more research on the ingredients and find some religious connotation to the word “onion” or something.

Seriously, you watch a Singapore production, you know that they have positioned the program for worldwide distribution, while the ones produced in Malaysia will have to rely heavily on sponsors for airtime.

In the meantime, I shall enjoy watching some mamak cook something in a dirty kitchen in the back lane. More entertainment there.