Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Kent
Mason is an author of some modest fame. He was on his way home from a
three state book signing tour when his new car broke down on the side
of the road and he had to be rescued by Calliope Jacoby, who co-owns
a towing company with her brother. They become involved and go out of
town for a weekend, only to rush home because her home has been
vandalized. At the police station, Kent has to use the restroom

I've
long wondered why men's restrooms are set up the way they are. Women
have privacy, but we're expected to yank it out and take a whiz no
matter who's around. It's always made me nervous. There's always this
sick impulse to check the other guy's junk, but you look like a perv
if you do that. Not that I'm embarrassed about what I'm packing, far
from it. I just don't particularly like to be stared at, especially
with my fly down. Then there's the problem of where to look.

Do
I look down at myself? That looks like I'm not sure I can take a piss
without help. Do I stare at the wall? Then I look like I'm nervous or
have something to hide. In a police station, I don't want to look
furtive. I'm not gonna look at the piece of the guy next to me, so
there aren't many choices left.

I
chose to gaze at the flush valve. That's not so low that I seem
perverted and not high enough to appear furtive. Glad I was done, I
flushed, nodded politely and flashed a nervous smile as I went to the
sink. I watched the other men casually in the mirror as I soaped my
hands.

Seconds
later, I was soaked from waist to hips. Cold water sprayed me from
the faucet, spattering the mirror, counter and floor.

"What
the fuck?" My vocabulary choice was probably unfortunate due to
where I was, but I couldn't help it.

The
two cops were laughing. I was soaked and standing in a puddle, and
the two duffers were laughing at me.

"Sorry,
pal, we should've warned you," the guy on my right zipped up and
walked to the sink.

I
noticed he avoided the sink I was standing next to—dripping.

"Then
why didn't you?"

"Didn't
think about it. We all know not to use that sink. The work order's
been in for three months."

"Give
me a wrench, I'll fix it myself."

"You
a plumber?"

"I
apprenticed awhile when I was a teenager. I could fix that in five
minutes."

"Wish
we could oblige, it has to go through the city."

"Got
a towel? My girlfriend is talking to Sergeant um. . . ." I drew
a blank. "Stacy," I bumbled to a finish.

"Lanier,"
Mr. Right finished for me.

"Thanks,
yes."

"Oh,
you part of that vandalism case?"

"Yeah,
my girlfriend's property got hit."

One
of the cops handed me a roll of paper towels. I started blotting the
front of my jeans.

"I
look like I had a serious bathroom accident," I fussed. "This
is just great."

"We
could find you some dry pants, maybe," the cop on my left
suggested.

"Actually,
my bag is in the car. We were out of town when we got the call. If
you gentlemen will excuse me, I need to get my pants."

"I'll
let Stacy know where you've gone," Mr. Left said.

"Thanks."

Feeling
like an idiot, not for the first time, I wandered outside, glad that
I didn't meet anyone on my way out. Gabe and Chas were leaning
against the Jeep sharing a cigarette.

I
grabbed my pants out of the back seat and joined them. They examined
my wet crotch with a smirk.

"Someone
get too excited?" Gabe asked.

"The
sink in the men's restroom attacked me. Don't use the center one.
Gimme a hit?"

Gabe
handed me the cigarette. "Sorry we have to share, it's my last
one."

"God,
that tastes good!" I moaned with almost sexual delight as I took
another puff. "I was hoping it would taste like ass, then I
wouldn't feel so shitty about giving it up."

"It's
a Sobranie, of course it's good. I don't smoke anything else."

"I'll
pay for them, if you'll get more. I'm dying for a real smoke."

"Calliope
will have your balls in a sling if you start smoking again."

"One.
I just want one. Then I'll give it up, I swear."

"I
bet you said the same thing about sex a long time ago." Chas
smirked, nudging me.

"Hell
with that. I had one hit and couldn't wait for another."

Both
men laughed, shaking their heads.

"Find
out anything useful?"

"Yes,
don't use the middle sink. I need to go change. These pants feel
nasty and my balls are getting chilly."

"Oh,
God forbid he get frostbite on his extremities!" Gabe said
loudly enough to attract the attention of a couple police officers
who had just walked out the door.

I
recognized my bathroom pals and waved self-consciously with my dry
jeans. They laughed all the way to their cars.

"Thanks.
That helped." I punched Gabe hard on the arm. "Now they
think I'm a gay man who can't control his own plumbing."

"They
don't," Gabe replied. "They just think you're a useless
twit."

"Thanks
that makes me feel so much better."

"Anytime."

Sometimes
Gabe is annoying. I didn't want to go back into the police station
with wet pants, so I clamored into the back of my rental and changed
my jeans. He and Chas kept up a running commentary about my antics,
laughing the entire time. At least I didn't have to change my
underwear. I can only imagine what the comments would have been like
then.

"Have
you finally caged the rampant beast?" Gabe asked when I got out.

"Caged
but still rampant." I grabbed a handful of my crotch for
emphasis.

"Is
he really that well blessed?" Chas looked curious, but not
hungry.

"It's
a thing of beauty," Gabe said with a serious frown. "Were I
that blessed, I'd share it as often as possible."

"Could
we not!" I raised my voice more than I should have.
Several of the police officers coming out the door looked around at
me.

Lowering
my voice, I continued. "Could we not have this conversation
right now, please? I don't particularly feel comfortable with it. Not
exactly comfy with the fact you've seen me naked," I said
quietly to Gabe.

"It's
okay, honey. I've seen lots of naked men." He put on his best
simper, winking at me.

I
wanted to hit him, but maybe in front of the police station wasn't
the best place for that impulse, so I didn't. Instead, I threw my
pants in the back seat of my car and went back in the station.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Ralan
and Daphne finally meet and are immediately attracted. So much so,
they give in to their passions without thinking. Ralan realizes, too
late, that being with her could compromise his case, but he finds it
hard to care. He also realizes he must tell his Captain, Jeff Givens,
what's happened.

Givens and Ralan went to the
Captain's office. One of the office assistants brought in coffee and
a platter of bagels, donuts and pastries. Ralan thanked her, Givens
more or less ignored her, though he nodded slightly in her direction
as she served him.

"So, who do you think
these schmucks are?"

"No idea. I'm not even
sure who all the players are, Jeff."

"Then we need to find
out asap. I can't have my best agent looking over his shoulder."

"I always look over my
shoulder." He sipped his coffee and took a cherry danish.

"I meant more than
usual. Being paranoid's kept you alive a long time. You sure no one
followed you to Ian's?"

"No. I watched for a
tail, but that means nothing. I didn't hide my plans, Jeff. What
puzzles me is how they knew I was back."

"Maybe they didn't.
Maybe they were breaking in for some other reason."

"Armed for bear? Not a
casual break in. They were after me. Maybe Daphne too."

"Why would they think
she was there?"

Ralan sipped his coffee,
refusing to answer.

"Tell me." Jeff
Givens wasn't a man to back away from confrontation. He dogged a bone
better than anyone, including Ralan.

Closing his eyes, Ralan
nodded. Givens didn't speak for a long time. Ralan could hear him
breathing. He could almost hear the older man thinking.

"Ralan, did I ever tell
you about the time I had a beautiful personal assistant I was
protecting? Her boss was up to his ass in some crazy scheme and she
made the mistake of doing her job and told him about some
irregularities she'd found."

"I was about your age,
and they gave me this. My first witness protection as lead. We were
stuck in a cabin deep in the woods. Just us two. Had some guys
running patrols, but it was just us for over a week. We were bored
and scared as hell we were gonna die. . . . I took that girl to bed.
Damn near ruined my career."

"What saved you?"

"I had a boss who'd
been in the same situation and made the same mistake." He
paused, eyes on his desk. Glancing up at Ralan, he folded his hands
in front of him. "Can you promise me this is the only time this
will happen?"

Ralan looked away, unable to
lie to his boss. "I'd love to tell you that, Jeff. I'm not sure
I believe it."

"Good, cause I wouldn't
either. If you'd given me a guarantee, I'd of pulled you off so damn
fast your nuts would spin."

"You could still do
that."

"I'm reserving that
right," Givens replied. "This goes no further."

"Romy knows."

"Who's he gonna
tell? Me? If I pull you off, I have to give a reason. Do you think I
want to answer questions like that? Do you?"

"No, sir."

"Damn Skippy, no. Keep
it in your pants, Agent Hendrix. Get a hobby. Needlepoint is
relaxing."

"Yes, sir." He
stood, knowing he'd been dismissed. "Thank you, sir."

"Kid,
we all make mistakes. If I canned every agent who had an inconvenient
itch, I wouldn't have a team."

Friday, July 17, 2015

I did great at the beginning of the week, but as of Wednesday, sort of lost momentum. It's been very hot and I haven't been feeling all that well. Though it is cooler in my office with the furniture change (I moved my tower out of the corner) it still gets very hot back here. I don't feel quite so bad about myself if I get some stretching in.

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/15/15:

I
did a lot better today. I really blew the last week to hell, so I
started with more enthusiasm.

Duration Song
and Artist Time

3:13 How
You Like Me Now – The Heavy 11:32 AM

2:48 Breaking
Down the Borders – Miracle of Sound 12:11 PM

3:56 Deep
Inside – Incubus 1:36

2:47 Smiling
Face – James Taylor 5:24

6:14 Most
People Never Hear Real Music – Zach Deputy 7:50

3:00 White
Rabbit – Grace Potter 9:02

3:28 Highway
to Hell – AC/DC 10:19

3:55 Jordan
– Buckethead 11:25

20:00 Stretch 1:00
– 1:20 AM

48:01

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/16/15:

Duration Song
and Artist Time

5:14 Coal
Wars – Joshua James 12:48 PM

4:00 Give
Up – Claws 1:48

4:52 Cult
of Personality – Living Color 3:17

3:07 Jungle
– Jamie Commons 8:13

17:03

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/17/15:

Had
writing group today and it was wicked hot. I was scared to look at my
phone to check the temperature, but it was hard to breathe. Getting
in the car was brutal. I had to stop at the store on the way home,
and even though I wasn't inside long, the car had heated up again. I
came home, ate a late lunch and felt like death.

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/18/15:

Duration Song
and Artist Time

4:16 Shame
– Dear Hunter 11:00 AM

5:54 Criminal
– The Revivalists 12:49 PM

5:04 Harvest
Moon – Neil Young 2:10

20:00 Stretched 10:22

35:04

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/19/15:

Duration Song
and Artist Time

5:04 Sing,
Sing, Sing with a Swing – Benny Goodman 10:59 AM

7:00 Lazy
– Joe Bonamassa 12:26 PM

20:00 Stretched 3:56-4:16

32:04

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/20/2015:

According
to today's notes, I wasn't feeling well. Had another sinus infection
strike and that always takes it out of me.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Set for Love (not yet
published) takes place in a city of my own imagination, somewhere up
north. Bern Cortland is a South Mississippi boy in the harsh, frozen
wastelands of the big city. He's taken a job as the technical
director at an up and coming theatre there. Bern's had an on again/
off again relationship with one of the actresses in the show. The
night before, they had a great time—until Paige got angry and threw
him out. Today, she ripped into him when he was helping the director
run lines. To calm down, he decides to go jogging in the park, only
to get jumped by a mugger. One of the cops thinks Bern is the mugger
and doesn't pay attention until his partner spots the fact that Bern
is bleeding. At the hospital, Bern hits
on the nurse, Norah, and talks to his buddy Colt, who is there to
pick him up

"Girlfriend trouble?"
Norah asked as she moved around the cubicle. "Cutie, I need you
to leave for a few. Got to take out the IV."

Colt nodded and left.

"So?"

"Might say that. One
left me for a chick. Next one just plain left me and the third—hadn't
even got as far as girlfriend exactly."

"But you did fu—her."

"Yeah. Not my best
moment. Lemme ask you something though. Don't take this wrong, but I
need a woman's opinion."

"And I'm handy?"
She giggled as she started to peel off tape.

"That and I don't know
you."

"Or want to fu—me?"

"Did I say that?"

She laughed harder. "Go
ahead and ask."

"Okay, so there's this
woman who totally hates me for some reason. And last night she was
drinking heavily at a party, so I took her home. She lives across the
hall."

"Okay. . . ."

"So, she was grabbing
all over me, I mean everywhere—then she kisses me and starts taking
off my pants. I tried to tell her no—"

"Not real forcefully, I
bet."

He gave her a patient look.
"I'm single. . . and she had her hands on my junk."

"Got it. And?"

"So I did her on the
kitchen table. Pants around the ankles, skirt around her hips. . . .
Mutually satisfying experience."

"You sure about that?"

"She was very
enthusiastic and bit the shit outta me." He showed her the
bruise.

"Sounds like. And?"

"Then she freezes up on
me, throws me out and today she ripped me a new asshole in front of
everyone we work with."

"Okay—so what's your
question?"

"What the hell did I do
wrong?"

"Honestly? You didn't
do anything wrong, sweetie. You behaved in the anticipated, desired
fashion and she feels like a slut."

"So how's it my fault?"

She patted his hand,
touching his cheek. "Because you're the man, honey. You did
exactly what she wanted and now she's going to make you pay. There's
no logic to it, she's a woman. But for what it's worth—if you'd
done the same to me—we wouldn't be having this conversation. You'd
be doing it again." She smiled, kissing his cheek. Tossing her
hair, she walked out.

Bern's laugh followed her
down the hall. Colt came in, watching the departing nurse.

"What'd you do to that
girl? She looked ready to tackle the world."

"Told her about me and
Paige last night and asked her what I did wrong."

"What'd she say?"

"I didn't do nothin'
wrong, I did everything right and I'm still fucked. But she told me
had I done the same with her, we'd be partyin' Where was she when my
life sucked? What am I saying? It still sucks balls."

Norah came back in with his
release papers. She went over care instructions and showed him where
to sign. On his copy of it, she'd written her phone number under her
signature.

"In case you need my
opinion on anything else," she said with a sly wink.

"I do," he replied
before she left the room. "What's protocol on kissing your
nurse?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Why,
Mr. Cortland, that would be unprofessional. So call me when I'm off
duty."

"I'll do that," he
said, folding the papers and putting them in his pocket.

Colt steadied him as he
walked outside. Clay was there to pick them up.

"What do you do to
these women?" Colt asked. "I mean, I've had my share of
women, but damn! These girls come at you like a hurricane, milk you
dry and run. You a one man baby daddy?"

"I hope not! I dunno. I
smile and I'm polite. Not like I go outta my way to hit on anybody."

"Except the nurse."

"Well, she was
steamin'! But she hit on me first. I swear."

"So, what happened with
you and Paige?" Clay asked.

"Rather not talk about
it."

"You told Nurse Norah!"
Clay complained.

"Yeah, and she don't
work with Paige. Wouldn't be polite to tell."

"But you were inside
her?" Clay asked, expectantly.

Bern gave him a bland look
and closed his eyes.

"She totally hates you,
dude. She's so pissed, she can hardly see straight. And Brent—whoa!"

"Hope I still have a
job."

"No worries. You're
cool. Boss man knows talent and he knows I'll only take the job under
protest. But he'll take someone less talented if it means less drama.
You need to get this shit with Paige settled. He won't tolerate much
more."

Honestly
not sure what was up with today. I'm really not sure why there is
such a big gap in time. I had a doctor's appointment, but that didn't
take up the entire day. Really not sure. As you'll see, I did some of
my dancing after midnight. As before, if I dance before I sleep, it
counts on that day, regardless of the time. I see that I did two
songs in a row, that's because I like them both so much and they are
back to back on my playlist.

Duration Song
and Artist Time

3:51 Fuck
You – Cee Lo Green 11:04 AM

4:30 Uptown
Funk – Bruno Mars 12:00 PM

3:51 It's
All Over – Dan Skinner 12:oo AM

5:54 Criminal
– Revivalists 12:18

17:36

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/10/15:

Well,
I didn't dance today. I had writing group from 12:30 – 2:00 and had
a few errands. After being in the heat and sunshine, I don't usually
feel much like doing anything but eating a late lunch and collapsing.

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/11/15:

Duration Song
and Artist Time

2:35 Little
Sadie – Crooked Still 11:58 AM

23:00 Stretched 2:47
– 3:10 PM

4:55 #9
– Moon Hooch 9:00

30:30

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/12/15:

Duration Song
and Artist Time

5:05 Keep
Going – Revivalists 11:19 AM

20:00 Stretched 3:20-3:40
PM

25:05

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/13/15:

I
didn't feel much like doing anything today. Not entirely sure why. I
have a very terse note to myself saying I didn't feel like it,
nothing more. I need to work on my notations, obviously I
can't be trusted to remember.

Duration Song
and Artist Time

3:14 Rumble
and Sway – Jamie N Commons 11:35 PM

3:14

Below
are the songs I danced to 6/14/15:

Today,
I actually got out and went to a barbecue with my neighbor. A lovely
lady from the writing group invited us to it and we decided to go. It
was a lot of fun and got us both out of the house, which we badly
needed.