Bruce MacKenzie from The Flatlander (Davis Community Newspaper) wrote* the best piece of investment advice I’ve read. Since I’m guessing this paper doesn’t get a lot of circulation - I can’t even find a legitimate website for this newspaper - I’m reproducing it verbatim for you here. Good work, Bruce - fair play to ya!

A No-Fail Investment Plan

ONE YEAR AGO……

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares at Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have received a $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

I love it. And considering my investments from a year ago (Google, Ford, Goldman Sachs…ugh), I would have done better to have invested in the 401-Keg. Also, if I were to go the can-recycle route, I’d choose Oskar Blues or 21 Amendment. Other suggestions?

*Update: Bruce, you made me feel a fool! Turns out Mr. MacKenzie was only taking credit for “finding” the apparently ubiquitous internet “401-Keg” joke; not being in an office job at the moment I’m a little out of loop with these things. In other news, I have heard great things about this company called “Apple” that makes a very cool phone called the “iPhone”; I’ve also discovered that peanut butter goes surprisingly well with jelly.

Dude, I have 12 pair of Allen Edmonds and everyone is top notch. New, more value prcied lines do not change the old staples, still the best shoes for the money and they last 10 times as long as anything else.

so confused. is this an inslut or a compliment. i mean i have never had a virus compared to me before. plagues, sure, i mean who hasn’t?so thank you. just call me g4! i love it. this was one of my favorite posts ever, glad you enjoyed it.

Viva Garcias! I’m stoked to say i was one of the lucky ones who got to wintses the beautiful wedding, fun reception, first dance, etc….happy ann’y to you both. and, two thumbs up for producing a happy life together with two beautiful babies.

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”-unknown