NOManiacsMeet Jacob Dorsey. Last Christmas, he was angry that Utah was allowing gay marriages to take place. He sent out a Tweet...

(via Bilerico)

Nice flag, tho! Man, what a Patriot!

And the first thing on his mind on Christmas morn! Awww...

NOManiacs...9 months later, even after it was deleted, NOManiacs received a notice from Facebook that the screencap of the Tweet was removed. We wondered why. Turns out, this 19-year-old Mormon kid halted his studies at BYU-Idaho in order to run for Wisconsin State Assembly in Janesville.

Made sense — he wanted that screencap removed. So we reposted it.

We sent it to the Janesville press, various media outlets. The people have a right to know who and what they are voting (for).

But I thought UTAH was your "favorite state!" Jacob, you two-timer, you!

Is that you, Scott Walker? Oh, hai!

NOManiacsWithin a week, Jacob Dorsey has “apologized” to the press in a statement. He claims he “promptly deleted it” which is untrue. He deleted the gay slur DAYS after and only after getting unwanted attention for it.

Bilerico"I regret using unacceptable and hurtful language on social media last year and sincerely apologize for doing so," Dorsey said in a statement to The Gazette.

"I recognized the inappropriateness of the tweet shortly after sending it and promptly deleted it. I am a staunch supporter of traditional marriage, but the language I used is not in keeping with my character, family values and Christian upbringing, and I fully acknowledge that."

Would you like to know what was in keeping with Jake's character, values, and upbringing? So glad you asked...

"But, but, I was just a whittle kid back then!"

NOManiacsNow he’s getting support from an anti-gay Facebook group. He even went as far as to personally thank them.

Jake Dorsey, to the fine folks at Heterosexual Awareness Month, via FacebookWe are on the right side of history. It may not be the popular side, but when you look at it from an eternal perspective, it's the right side.

Poor Jake doesn't yet know how unfortunately true that statement rings! The "right" side isn't necessarily the "right" side! Oh, out of the mouths of babes!

Welp, after that second heaping of his not-at-all-distant past caught up with his little campaign, Jakey figured out he's better off staying out of the harsh glare of the spotlight and maybe making a little dough behind the scenes instead with Anti-Gay, Inc.

Either that, or go back to the comfy confines of that most outrageous BYU-Idaho school! (Remember the Fight Against "The Great War"? What a riot that was!)

You can bet we haven't heard the last of this kid. A Caiden Cowger in the making, for sure!

In the meantime, the rock-ribbed Rock County Republicans are shocked to find such sentiments from their nominee. SHOCKED, I say! Now they want their $500 donation to the kid back.

Republican Party of Rock County"His comments have no place in our political discourse. The party was unaware of his comments when he announced his candidacy in May and when it provided a financial contribution to his campaign. The party has withdrawn all support for Mr. Dorsey and has requested a return of the financial contribution."

Sorry, GOPhers. Jake's gonna need that pocket change for pizza money.

Oh, and to put gas in his SWEEEEET little guzzler. What a purty car!

Oh, c'mon Jakey! Hit me up on Craigslist... the AUTOS section, silly! I'd slap some Turtle Wax on that baby every now and then!

These super conservatives know what they are supposed to be by their peers, but can take a while to know what they want and be scared of what they might do to them if they came out. Thus, yes, I think closeting happens a lot.

What's a poor bigot to do these days? If you're dumb enough to post this sort of garbage, you get your ass handed to you on a platter; if you don't post, all eight people who support you are going to get discouraged and look for someone even dumber. It's a real quandary!

tazzari saidWhat's a poor bigot to do these days? If you're dumb enough to post this sort of garbage, you get your ass handed to you on a platter; if you don't post, all eight people who support you are going to get discouraged and look for someone even dumber. It's a real quandary!

TRUTH! That's probably how Janesville wound up with him in the first place.

Who in the world comments like Jakey did and then, in the space of two years, decide, "You know what? I'm dropping out of school, wrapping myself up in a flag, and throwing my hat in the ring for elective office!"

And what on Earth does any recent college dropout have to say that convinces the electorate to nominate him/her?

Self-destructive alcohol/drug induced bender that will last, off and on, for 5 years, then inevitable "hookups" with men while proclaiming he's straight. Within a decade he'll be posting here or on other forums and have a boyfriend as cunty as him AND as gay-faced as him.

That "Tomorrow Belongs To Me" reference, literally, made me bust out laughing. I had to say "Sorry" to the weird looks around me.