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SWEDEN 4 ENGLAND 2

21.36 A confusing night for England, who siezed control of that match after falling behind against the run of play, and were then wholly undone by the brilliance of Zlatan and a number of howlers from an increasingly unreliable Joe Hart. Danny Welbeck continues to look better for his country than his club, Steven Gerrard probably should not play any more than 10 games for England to add to his 100 caps and Wilf Zaha wasn't on for long enough to do anything of note. All of this is an irrelevance, this night was about one man. Here he is again, in .gif form:

That'll be all from this liveblog, thanks for your company and I'll talk to you again soon.

21.32 You will be delighted to learn that he was booked for removing his shirt afterwards.

21.30 Here is the goal in its considerable glory:

21.28 Not for the first time Colchester United midfielder Marcus Bean is on the money:

21.26 ...hands down the most exciting thing to happen in an England friendly since this:

21.24 If you're not dualscreening tonight and making do with these words instead of actual moving pictures of football, I am so excited for you that you get to see that final goal for the first time at some point tonight. Here is Ibrahimovic in flight in evocative dodgy grab off the telly form:

FULL TIME

90+2 min GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Sweden 4 England 2 (Ibrahimovic) Oh. My. Goodness. That is one of the best goals I have ever seen. More absolute tosh from Joe Hart, who has had a risible game. Ill-advised charge outside of his area and a meek header away. Straight to Ibrahimovic fully 35 yards out, but surely he's not going to try and hit it on its downward flight? With an overhead kick!?! He has! And it's in! Bouncing just in front of the line, and past the despairing Cleverley. Astounding.

90 min What's the Swedish for "2-1 and you f***ed it up?" That's what the England supporters were singing at the beginning of the game, in reference to the Euro 2012 game. I don't know why I'm asking, their fans are so, so quiet. Top statting from the people of Opta:

&lt;noframe&gt;Twitter: OptaJoe - 1988 - Zlatan Ibrahimovic is the first player to score a hat-trick against England since Marco van Basten in June 1988. Treble.&lt;/noframe&gt;

87 min Sturridge wins a corner after some reasonably fancy footwork on the left. Comes to nothing, and Wilshere is booked for a body check on Zlatan.

86 min Zaha is finally on for England, replacing Sterling. Larsson coming off for Sweden. I've rather lost track of their subs situation so I'm going to say it's Tomas Brolin that's replaced him.

84 min GOAL!! Sweden 3 England 2 (Ibrahimovic) Now admittedly, I'm not a massively patriotic man. But I defy even the most ardent England fans from feeling a little bit delighted about the fact that Zlatan Ibrahimovic has just completed his hat-trick on the opening night of his new stadium. Free kick from 30 yards out, hit hard and low and right in the corner. It's not particularly well hit, Hart should have it covered, but let's not be too upset, it's only a friendly.

82 min Wonderful news, a goal kick from Isaksson manages to hit the wire suspending the screen approximately one mile above the centre circle. We have an uncontested drop ball to celebrate.

80 min Sweden seemingly in charge now. England, disjointed after a raft of quick changes, just trying to hang onto the ball and keep calm. A welcome return to the liveblogging fold for Soren Assman, who captured all of our hearts during Euro 2012 with his unique brand of excited nonsense:

Maybe that was Germany's mistake - not conceding first. Well, England maybe will also actually play on level till the end. Germany is making the same mistake again tonight, though. 0-0 vs. the Netherlands so far, and I miss the Sweden game already. At least it was an ENTERTAINING draw...

No, no idea.

78 min GOAL!! Sweden 2 England 2 (Ibrahimovic) What a finish from the excellent Swede. Svensson chips a delightful ball forward from midfield, Shawcross is caught napping and it suddenly seems very clear that he plays for Stoke City, Zlatan lets it roll down his chest with beautiful control and hammers it home on the volley. Wonderful finish. He celebrates by apologising to Gary Cahill for catching him with his arm in the aftermath of the goal.

75 min Triple sub for England. Caulker, Johnson, and Gerrard off, with Shawcross, Jenkinson and Huddlestone on. I believe six is the sub limit. England have one left. Zahazahazahazahazahazahazahazaha.

74 min Grandqvist off for Antonsson for Sweden. Sana also on, for Lustig.

71 min England pushed back some now. Can't we just get it over with and throw Wilf Zaha on? That's the way (Zaha Zaha) I like it.

68 min Steven Gerrard imagines something beautiful, a goal on the occasion of his 100th cap for his country, and it nearly comes true. Hits a first-time volley. Wide. Granqvist is booked for a poor challenge from behind on Wilshere. Protect him! Children are our future!

66 min England's supporters behind the goal are serenading Zlatan with a song that involves a swearword. I have replaced that swearword with the word COINS in this version:

64 min Sweden beginning to eke out some more chances, but they're mostly being wasted by Zlatan at the moment. A good point from Twitter's Loftforwords:

&lt;noframe&gt;Twitter: LoftforWords - I bet everybody connected with Arsenal is massed as one behind their sofas watching Wilshere play on this pitch.&lt;/noframe&gt;

61 min Kimmy Kallstrom is coming off for Sweden. He has not given my permission to call him "Kimmy", but that's what I called his digital dot version when he was working wonders for me as Everton manager on Football Manager 2005. Svensson is on. Double sub for England too, Cleverley and Young off for Wilshere and Sturridge.

58 min More scenes of mild uncertainty from Hart, who dallies slightly as a high ball hangs in the air eight yards from his goal. He's there first, just about, but Ranegie makes it difficult for him and he fluffs his punch. Falls for Larsson, but he shoots well over. Marketing expert Andy Holgate has this on renaming Wembley:

If the Friends arena is a marketing ploy by a Swedish bank to show what Sweden is good at then we should follow suit. It needs to be a string English company that typifies the nations spirit. That let's people know what we are good at, where our growth industry is. Welcome everyone to the Loan Sharks Arena sponsored by ..... (insert name of pay day loan company of your choice)

55 min Sterling gets himself offside in the aftermath of the corner. Here is Danny Welbeck doing a happy after scoring England's first:

..and what the hell, here's Steven Caulker scoring an international goal on his international debut in an international football match in international Sweden:

54 min Leon Osman's suddenly looking like the best attacking player of his generation. Lots of effective, close-control-tastic play in and around the box and once again it results in a corner.

53 min Osman turns smartly in the box on the left and hits a low shot towards goal. Turned round the post byu Isaksson. Ashley Young gets to take the corner this time. It's no better than Gerrard's recent effort, and easily headed away but England keep the ball.

52 min Gerrard's delivery is disappointing and headed away by Jonas Olsson. I should tell you that Martin Olsson was replaced by Safari at half time.

51 min It's Ingerland doing the majority of the Good Things in this half. They've won a corner.

48 min Leon Osman is almost on the end of team-mate Leighton Baines' cross. Welbeck also just missed out. A game of dangerous crosses, this.

46 min Second half? Go on then. First tier of seats currently looking as empty as that middle circle of hell at Wembley does just after half time.

20.19 Horribly limp start to that game, but with both teams realising that it's fun to attack from wide areas and that neither of the centre back pairings are particularly good, we had an enjoyable spate of goals and a suggestion that there will be more to come. If only they could do something about that bizarrely muted atmosphere. See you in 15.

HALF TIME

45+1 min Fancy one added minute of extra time? You've got no say in it, I'm afraid. It's going to happen whether you like it or not.

44 min Caulker does well to head away a Larsson free kick destined for the head of Ranegie.

42 min Hart flaps at it, but it's straight out for a goal kick in any case.

41 min Another decent chance, for Sweden this time, and... that's it.... I'm going caps lock for one of my favourite football clichés: WE'VE GOT A GAME ON OUR HANDS NOW. Zlatan shoots first-time from a Kacaniklic cross from the left. Behind for a corner.

38 min GOAL!! Sweden 1 England 2 (Caulker) A corker! From Steven Caulker! No, not really, it's more slightly suspect defending from Sweden and another excellent delivery. This time Steve Gerrard is the provider, hooking a free kick towards the back post from the left. Caulker is in between Lustig and Granqvist and picked up by neither. He pokes home from similarly close range to Welbeck. Big ol' air kick from Granqvist in a pathetic attempt to clear Gerrard's pass. He's having a mare.

35 min GOAL!! Sweden 1 England 1 (Welbeck) Sterling spreads it right-wards for Ash Young. He's past Larsson with ease and a change of pace and puts the ideal ball into the box. Welbeck drifts off Granqvist and into space and makes no mistake from close range. Nice goal.

32 min Joe Hart's late-year blossoming into a more tradtionally error-prone English goalkeeper continues when he fails to issue firm instructions for Cahill to get out of his way as a low Sweden cross comes into the box from the right. Cahill and Hart mix one another up and the ball falls to Ranegie who leans back horribly as he shoots and spoons it over the bar. Should have been 2-0.

30 min More productive play by Larsson on the right, and Sweden begin moving it with pace not far from the box. Eventually it drops for Ibrahimovic who smacks an optimistic shot at goal from 30 yards. Kacaniklic and Ranegie, both ahead of him, jump out of the way of the shot in a manner that suggests they've done it before. The shot, obviously, is well wide.

28 min Ranegie the latest to fall agonisingly short from a promising cross. Larsson with a familarly good delivery from the right-hand side. The big striker is inches from latching onto it.

26 min Atmosphere is plain weird inside the ground. Deafening silence. England are on the attack, and Cleverley nearly scores! Johnson fires a shot-cum-cross-cum-shot-cum-cross-cum-laude. Cleverley, almost on the six yard line, can't make telling contact. Goal kick.

22 min Sweden have unsurprisingly perked up after their run-of-play-mocking opening goal. Maurice Simpson does not understand:

Am surprise they played two verses as few English players seem to know the FIRST verse judging by their silence when it is played... Even on Remembrance Day most of the public in attendance locally didnt sing it despite the order of service printing both verses but then we did sing the Marseillaise first!!

20 min GOAL!! Sweden 1 England 0 (Ibrahimovic) Johnson and Sterling contrive to giove the ball away. Ranegie spreads it to the left for Martin Olsson, who's made a decent overlapping run. He picks out Zlatan in the middle, but his first-time shot is blocked by Caulker. A large stroke of luck as the ball falls extremely kindly for him immediately, and with Cahill grounded Zlatan has very little trouble poking it past Hart.

19 min I think some of the Sweden fans are booing their own team already, after a tame and lame opening 20 minutes. Here's Zlatan behaving like the wonderful man that he is during the warm-up:

16 min Oof, Cahill goes close to opening the scoring. Gerrard fires in a free kick from the left and Chelsea and England's new and more likable John Terry is a ruler's length away from getting a telling toe on the end of it. Isaksson was stranded.

14 min Genoa's Andreas Granqvist gives away an extremely cheap corner. It's headed clear by Olsson (J), but England keep the ball, eventually playing it back to Joe Hart.

12 min England doing all right here. Sweden muted like their supporters. Sterling looks the best outlet down the right-hand side. I reckon he's got the beating of comparatively old man, Blackburn Rovers' 24-year-old Martin Olsson at left back.

11 min Someone's let the England brass band in. That is a terrible, terrible mistake.

8 min Leon Osman with his first ever senior international shot. Low to Isaksson's right, but easily saved.

7 min Very quiet indeed in the Gary Numan Are "Friends" Electric arena. Possibly because it's an ugly, uneventful game so far.

3 min Hart flattens Cahill as a high ball causes worries in the England box. Sterling is kicked in the stomach by an over-enthusiastic Olsson wide on the right. I have the distinct feeling that our brave boys are going to lose tonight, and lose badly.

1 min Here comes a football match. Sweden have the honour of kicking off the first game at their new national stadium. Marvellous. Brilliant. Lovely. Nice. Don't worry, Andy Townsend says he thinks this is a "proper game". It's certainly not a Roxette concert, which was the first event to be held in this arena.

19.24 Heh heh heh! The English national anthem has carried on to its rarely-heard second verse. No-one knows the words, obviously. Steven Gerrard looked dead confused.

19.22 Here come the teams. We're now going to have about 400 minutes of presentations and platitudes before kick-off.

19.20 Time for the first pertinent statistical tweet of the evening from our friends at Opta:

...more number fun with Paul Kelso:

..and some less exciting news from Henry Winter:

19.16 Steven Gerrard has given himself a 7/10 for his England career in a pre-match interview with ITV's Gabriel Clarke. That's a bit generous in my eyes. Plus I disagree with the concept of anything being 7/10. I'm great fun at parties.

18.25 Here's Peter Larvan, who's first out of the blocks that sit under the banner which reads "WEMBLEY - WOT U RENAME IT?"

I'm assuming the "thom.gibbs event space with large area of grass in middle " will not be accepted , so how about " The Queen Elizabeth II Arena "

I can't tell if I'm being lampooned or not. Too long being called rude words by internet strangers will make you paranoid.

18.00 Evening liveblog fans.

When picking international friendly opponents there are a number of important things to consider:

• Money • Marketability • Other commercial concerns • Dodgy backroom deals which involve matches being exchanged for votes in support of one of the nations in question hosting a tournament • Money • How angry it will make Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger • Kit-clashing issues • Political sensitivities • Money • How worthwhile it will be as a footballing exercise • And of course... Money.

Tonight's game against Sweden, England's joint 8th-most frequent opponent (if you exclude the home nations and believe this rock-solid source*), serves a number of these purposes but does not seem an obvious cash cow for our poor beleaguered FA.

For one thing it's in Sweden, but that can be overlooked when you learn that England have been invited to the opening night of Stockholm's new Friends Arena, which replaces the old Rasunda, which is a bit sad because LOOK AT IT:

Still, these chirpy young buddies seem pretty thrilled about securing the naming rights to its replacement:

Team news and more build-up than the construction of a new stadium to follow.

In the mean time here's some choice excitement from around the Telegraph Sport website this evening: