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Bumpy rides are right up there in my book of horrors. When you have to sit on your problem all day long, any bumps along the way can hurt, often to the point of nausea. Sometimes I think about our great, great grandparents and find it amazing they lived as long as they did without the medications we have; riding around on horses or in covered wagons and having to perform all their own chores without the aid of machinery. Small wonder 35 years of age was considered old. Besides the physicality of those bumps in a life with chronic pain, there are other pits, ditches and potholes we need to watch out for along this path of life we’re on.

SELF-PITY is the first pothole that comes to mind. I have a relative who suffered an injury last year. I called to see how she was feeling and she said, with malice in her voice, “Well, how do you think I’m feeling?” Oh my. That was pretty much the end of that conversation. I cringed to think that was the route she chose to take. No one likes to be in pain. If you like it then you need to see a psychiatrist. Somewhere in the middle, between lunacy and acceptance, we have to find peace if we’re to live all of our days in this state of such severe physical awareness.

There is something so tragic about self-pity. It has the ability to rob us of all joy, sunshine and humor. Without these things in our life, then what is it? A life of only pain and misery is merely to exist. Self-pity can also cut us off from what we need most and that is the love and companionship of other humans. The very nature of self-pity is self-centeredness, selfishness and narcissism. There’s not much connecting to others in that state; therefore we find ourselves alone if we fall into that pit. This may sound strange, but I think our critters sense the difference, also, when we are angry, bitter and full of malice. They have a self-protective instinct toward danger and know when to flee, unlike some humans.

COMPARISON SHOPPING may work for groceries, car shopping or picking out a new home but it’s not wise when it comes to your health. We are, each of us, as different as those snowflakes we once cut out in elementary school. It’s my personal belief that it is a wonderful thing, to be different. Why do we spend so much time trying to fit in when most of us are made to stand out? To be the individual you were born to be has to be life’s greatest calling if we but answer.

Just because one individual has the same diagnosis as you do, does not mean you will or should necessarily take the same medications, live the same lifestyle or expect the same long-term prognosis. So many variables are at work in our lives. To point out only a few there is our inheritance via our DNA make-up. Our personalities that are shaped by that and also our child rearing environment, our actions and choices as we go through life exhibiting free choice and our reactions to life, also in the form of choice. Choice takes many forms such as what we eat, whether we choose to smoke or drink alcohol or large amounts of coffee or sodas. The list of differences is a long one and should not be underestimated. Comparing ourselves to others is often natural but should be resisted. You are unique. Your response to your disease is unique. Don’t let anyone, including your doctor make you feel like you are one of a “crowd” or a diagnosis. You are more than your diagnosis. You are distinctly you.

This doesn’t mean we can’t console and educate each other as long as we remember to trust our own intellect and the expertise of our physicians when it comes to our current health predicament. Sharing medicine is not exactly like sharing clothes, lipstick or boyfriends. Oh my, that was a bit of nostalgia that just popped out. It’s far more complicated than that, however, as adults with serious health problems.

LETHARGY can be an enormously damaging pit to fall into on the pain-filled road of life. To sit, to wait, to give up and to do nothing only feeds our depression. Lethargy is damaging to our forward progress. There is no standing still in this life of pain. You are either advancing or retreating. You are either choosing life or you will have death slip upon you with its slimy hand. Don’t stand for that. Fight for life. Remember a muscle that is not used is a muscle that will die. This has also been proven of brain cells. Use them, choose them or you may lose them.

Giving our bodies a “time out” is not lethargy; it’s recharging. To know the difference between the two is the road to wisdom. You have to know when to lie down, when to get up and move. All of these decisions begin in the heart and are directed by the head. We pull out of those holes in the road by sheer will, love of life and our love of ourselves and others. The tracking system you need is built into you. Just don’t forget to turn it on before you navigate through life.

Safe driving.

Last Updated:1/12/2010

Important: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not Everyday Health. See More

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