That title is for all of you metrosexual readers, and you thought I’d forget about you. My apologies to our four girl readers that I didn’t go with the title, “A’s Sign the 4th Yoenis Brother.” I know how much you love their music. So the A’s signed Yoenis Cespedes yesterday, the latest Cuban raftee. Is Cespedes Spanish for six feet? That’s gotta be a challenge to get them all in the batter’s box! Though it will make it easier to run up outfield fences like Bo Jackson and he’ll have three times the hip rotation of the average hitter. He’ll be faster, but 1) Will have three times the chance of pulling a hamstring and 2) Will have to dive headfirst or he’ll be real easy to tag out. So the A’s signed the Human Cespedes, but what can we expect from him for 2012 fantasy baseball?

Since thirty-six million dollars, the price paid for Yoenis, is three times Beane’s yearly salary (according to Hollywood), I think Yoenis gets a starting job and is given every chance to succeed. “The playing time is there — now the Yoenis is on you!” That’s Jonah Hill in the sequel because he screams puns now that he’s skinny. The speed that Yoenis shows in his Tom Emanski-produced videos is great, but I think Emanski might be putting some CGI effects on there. I’m willing to give him 12 steals, which is optimistic since he won’t know pitchers’ moves. The power is another question. Last year in Cuba, he clubbed a new Cuban record of 33 home runs (354 ABs), though right now it’s sorta been an explosion of home runs in Cuba. Castro, you juicing the balls? Last year in Cuba, Jose Abreu (check Ancestry.com for his relation to Bobby) hit 33 homers too in only 212 ABs. Yoenis’s Cuban park was also one of the easier parks to hit in, but he hit quite a few on the road (18 of 33). Now some have concluded that playing in the Cuban league can be compared to A ball. That would leave new raftees in a hole. Put another way, if you grab Yoenis in a fantasy draft too soon, you might be an a-hole.

Clay Davenport uses one part magic and two parts gumption to come up with a formula to translate Cuban stats to the majors. He has Yoenis down for 22 homers and a .245 average with 8 steals. That wasn’t considering the A’s play in another one of those -co parks that does no favors for hitters. So the best case scenario is Adam Jones and the worst case scenario is the Bay of Pigs II with Yoenis’s value serving as a torpedo. For 2012, I’ll give Yoenis the line of 65/20/80/.250/12. If you take those projections, you’ll probably know where he’s going to get ranked. If you need a hint, it’s in the top 40 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball. Not someone I would want to take a chance on in most fantasy leagues, unless he’s coming as a bargain. Also, the outfield suddenly gets real crowded in Oaktown for others. Can always give Bubb Rubb a call, I’m sure he can find trouble for one of them. I believe starting now will be The Cereal, Josh Reddick and Yoenis Cespedes. You know who can’t catch a break? The Lisper’s Nightmare, Seth Smith — Thith ith ridiculouth!

I made a sales call today to a guy and sent him an email with the details and numbers . He replied to said email. After a quick search, realized he is the sports editor of a certain NW daily. I tried to maintain professional integrity but felt obligated to ask him if he had the scoop on who’s batting leadoff for the M’s.

A’s fan websites are overjoyed by this move. Why do I not share that optimism? I don’t know… I mean ANY kind of offense added to the A’s is good, but 9 million a year? That seems like a lotta cheese for a guy who hasn’t proven that he can, you know, hit in the major leagues.

It just seems like the A’s are doing baseball backwards these days. Think about how difficult it is to hit while facing the backstop! That’s the A’s.

I am in a 10 team H2H points league. It is the fist year we are KEEPING. I can only keep 3 players. I am keeping Pujols and Kemp. Please help with my 3rd…. Matt Holliday, Phillips, Jennings or Brett Lawrie?

@Mr2Bits, Just my take but im doing a prospect draft too currently and our first round consisted of the likes of Darvish, Starling, Rendon, Cole, Hultzen etc. Yours’ll likely be the same, so I’d keep your first round pick.

Does anyone know the rookies that yahoo added to their list this year that was not on the list last year that have some kind of future in baseball assuming that the Mayan Calendar prediction does not come through

-Every year you keep a player, their contract value increases by $1 million

-Anyone drafted after round 10, that stays on your roster an entire year, can be kept for free (a means of rewarding smart drafting)

These are the 5 players i plan on keeping and their respective contracts:
Verlander ($2 mil)
King Felix ($2 mil)
Strasburg (Free) <– i took a shot on him rnd 15 and DL'ed him all year
Votto ($2 mil)
Tulo ($2 mil)

I also own Cargo who i was planning on throwing back into the draft this year….

I got offered Roy Halladay ($2 millon) for Strasburg (Free) and Cargo who really doesnt matter much because I couldn't keep him anyway.

It'd be pretty tough to beat a team with Halladay, Verlander, Felix, Tulo, and Votto which would leave me right at the $10 million dollar cap.

Should I pull the trigger and let go of Strasburg who would be free for this year and only $1 million next year? I am very curious to hear your thoughts on this.

– just read the “Three Nights In August” book about Tony LaRussa – it’s freakin’ incredible. Highly recommend if you haven’t read it. never thought i’d be so interested in a regular season series that happened 9 years ago between two teams i don’t like.

@Grey, it’s seriously incredible. really gives great insight into the manager’s millions of split-second decisions during the game, as well as gives some great backstories of other players/managers. and he pulls no punches – calls out JD Drew for being lazy, etc. it’s by the guy who wrote the “friday night lights” book.

some people interpreted it as a “response book” to moneyball, about how old school baseball men play the game as opposed to new school stat-freaks (like us), but i just see it as an insightful book by a passionate, lifelong baseball fan who had unprecedented access to the cardinals clubhouse. let me know what you think of it if you get a chance to check it out!

@Random Collmenter, Oh, it’s by Buzz Bissinger? I’ve never read anything by him. Like the show created from his book, though I doubt that had much to do with the book. Interesting that a manager makes that many decisions, when it seems like they’re not doing much but scratching themselves.

@Random Collmenter, My dad read that a few years back, and he gave it high praise. I’ll have to see if he still has it.

And I’m only basing this off of your comment claiming some viewed this as a response to Moneyball, but it’s funny that it would be seen as a response now considering Tony relied so heavily on matchup data (though unsuccessfully or because we watched Tony go through the early stages of dementia) this October.

So, it took longer than the 7 days that were advertised, but Lou Ferrigno just called my friend and gave him a motivational pep talk. He said it was incomprehensible, which makes both of us think it was actually Ferrigno. One of my other friends (a longtime razzball reader) is having a kid as we speak and he is getting a congratulations on the baby call from Mr. Belding.

@anon, HA! That’s awesome! Too bad you can’t say anything to your friend prior to the call but he should ask Mr. Belding what’s the deal with Dimples. It’s a karaoke bar that he goes to in Hollywood literally 5 nights a week.

This entire deal is just entirely weird. That is an awful lot of luchini Billy Beane tossed at him. Color me a sucker but I’m going to make an assumption that Billy Beane has some sense of what he’s doing still…despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary. Drafting Yoenis all over for the fun of it.

Grey, thanks for all the great prep work for 2012. Got a general question and then a couple specific ones. Specific-ish anyway. You’ll see.

General: do you have some insight / are you going to do a post on keeper-league rankings and draft strategy? Our 6×6, 14t roto league rebooted this offseason, so we’re starting from scratch. Just looking for some draft strategy help, esp about balancing youngsters vs oldsters.

Thus, specific-ish: how much higher do you bump young guys (eg: Strasburg, Heyward, Darvish, Ackley, etc)?

And specific-er: Would you put guys like Hosmer and Lawrie late in Rd 2 (again, 14-team league), above an older pitcher like Adverb? Do you bump F-Her above Adverb?

Don’t really know why I’m even writing this because I’m pretty sure I know what u and your mustache are going to answer but what the hell I need someone to just give a boot in the right direction. I’m in a 16 man, 5 keeper man league. My five are Hosmer, McCutchen, Beltre, Price and Felix. Another person in the league offered me Ellsbury for Price straight up. Before you move on to the next question thinking this confused guy is dumb as shizz, let me do a little explaining on why I’m debating this. I don’t trust Ellsbury one bit not sure if it’s cause he is injury prone or if it’s cause without 20 bombs he’s just another Brett Gardner. If u could just let me know what to do and maybe a little explaination on why you think it would be the right move. P.S. Huge fan Gery and this website was key in me winning this league last year. Keep it up cause their ain’t anyone better.