Michelle Teheux: Leave digital technology out of my bathroom

Wednesday

Jan 18, 2012 at 12:01 AMJan 18, 2012 at 6:16 PM

I’m just not comfortable with the decadence of a digital shower. Actually, I had no idea such a thing existed until just a moment ago, but apparently one can now install a system that remembers just how hot you prefer your shower, and will reproduce that exact experience for you every time.

Michelle Teheux

I’m just not comfortable with the decadence of a digital shower.

Actually, I had no idea such a thing existed until just a moment ago, but apparently one can now install a system that remembers just how hot you prefer your shower, and will reproduce that exact experience for you every time.

You can also start your shower from bed, using a remote, so that the shower is hot when you step in.

I never found the act of turning on water by hand to be especially taxing. I never found hitting my preferred temperature to be very difficult, either.

And I can honestly say I never once have yearned for a remote control for my shower. Um, I’m right there. Also, I can’t lose the faucet. I would probably lose a remote, rendering the whole system useless.

Actually, if anything I’ve gone backward in time. We installed a salvaged claw-foot bathtub in our upstairs bath. (The downstairs already had one.) We set it up so you can take a regular shower, though it’s true that you will have to actually turn on both the hot and cold water by turning real knobs, not by pushing buttons, so that might turn off anyone who is used to being pampered digitally.

Contemplating any sort of over-the-top indulgence gives me the same feeling I get when I watch “Downton Abbey” on PBS, and see the servants helping the aristocrats bathe and dress — it’s all just a little too decadent for my tastes.

Part of this might be my aversion to superfluous technology. On the rare occasions when I actually want to watch TV (like on Sunday nights when “Downton Abbey” is on) I push the actual button on the TV. I tried using the remote a few times years ago, found it irritating, and abandoned it.

Of course, I suppose wanting to live like an aristocrat is part of what some people find appealing about this sort of shower. You might not have a servant drawing your bath for you, but you almost do, if you have a remote in your hand. And the remote won’t gossip about you, either.

Digital shower systems strike me as the sort of thing that are on the market for people who have more money than they can easily spend in the course of a normal life, yet don’t want live-in servants.

The idea of living a simple life may not appeal to everyone, but doesn’t it make sense to incorporate technology only where it actually enhances your life?

That noise I just heard was a chorus of “NO!”s. I think I’m solidly in the minority here.

That’s why my microwave, stove, car, refrigerator, phone, washing machine — even my new Crock Pot — are all needlessly souped up with technology I don’t want and don’t need and would prefer to do without. The rest of the world wants all these digital doodads, and the pool of people like me who prefer our stuff to have fewer features to confuse and annoy us are too small to make it worth marketing to us.

I already know that if I want to halt the march of progress in my house, I should install a wood-fired stove. If I were home all day to tend it, I probably would. I suppose I could also wash my clothes with a tub and scrub board, and so forth. But like everyone else, I do need a little technology to get through my household chores faster when I come home after work.

I accept that, but the threshold of the bathroom doorway is right where I draw the line. I absolutely refuse to allow digital technology to creep into the otherwise low-tech sanctuary of the bathroom.

I’d sooner have a ladies maid helping me into a corset than have a remote-controlled anything in my bathroom.