So summer is finally here and hopefully the good weather will continue.With that comes more opportunities to go outside.I welcome the warm weather, even if it does rain. Unhampered by the snow, I can go out to restaurants, decks, parks etc provided it’s not too soggy! But the social isolation feeling still lingers. In the colder months I feel the isolation more.It’s not just the difficulty of getting through the snow but also the fact that it’s difficult, and dangerous, to carry a wheelchair up and down icy, snowy stairs/steps.

Social isolation is a major issue for the disabled community.It can lead to depression and loneliness.On one of the forums I belong to a woman commented on how little they can see friends since her husband became a high level quadriplegic and needed a power chair.They’ve lost friendships not because people don’t like them anymore but just for the fact they cannot get into their friends’ homes.And so, people do not invite them over anymore.In turn, the couple doesn’t feel like taking the step to invite them over to their place, or the expensive choice of always going out to eat as that lonely depression is exacerbated by seeing friends.I understand this 100%.There are friends’ apartments/homes that I have never seen, nor will I probably ever see.And so there is this constant palpitation of loneliness in my everyday life.It’s another example of how my environment can be so disabling. School has been a great equalizer as with my fraternity we are always doing things together but man what about just showing up to a friend’s house just to say hi?Or late night fun watching movies.

Lack of access to friends’ homes doesn’t just affect the person with a disability, but their social circle as well.Some friends of mine were looking for apartments and were hard pressed to find one that I could visit easily.Should they feel like terrible people because they couldn’t find a place that their friend in a wheelchair could get into?One of my dearest friends is pregnant and her apartment is up some very steep flight of stairs.I often worry how I will be able to see her baby and feel a tinge of jealousy that others can come into her home so freely to see her, and I cannot.Now I will probably end up crawling up those stairs myself to see little Seedling (it’s my nickname for the baby) but I honestly shouldn’t have to pull Rambo-like moves in order to see my friends.

Even just writing this article I can feel the depression and sadness inside.Everyday it’s something, another silent message stating I am worthless.And that message can eat away at you.It’s something of a very hard, bitter pill that I learned to swallow with ease growing up every time I went to school and heard my friends retell their adventures at so-and-so’s house reinforced that lonely feeling.I couldn’t be in on the fun, because I couldn’t get into that friend’s house anyway.It makes people with disabilities feel like they are a burden and inconvenience to their loved ones even if the loved ones do not mind helping.It’s the lack of being able to come and go and do for yourself, to be included.It’s a disconcerting feeling to feel an outsider amongst those you are so very close to.The freedom to come and go as one pleases was something that I craved like a thirsty man craves for water; I still do not have that freedom, not 100%.

Such a simple thing, when you look at it.Being invited to a friend’s home and sharing memories and food and getting that human interaction is good for the soul.So good that it is celebrated in cultures all over the world for thousands of years, most likely more.Still today, it is seen as a snub when someone doesn’t invite you to the party and yet, the world feels it’s ok to snub a whole group of people by building in a manner which does not allow them to participate in social home gatherings even if they wanted to.

The majority of the readers may know what it’s like to be uninvited and then hear about the party later or to hear of people talk about a coming up event and going “Oh!Who should we invite?” and as they list everyone they know, except you.Now take that hurt and each time you see stairs to a house/apartment entrance, or any accessibility violation and multiply by two.Then you may come close to how that feels to someone with a disability.But it’s not like we’re all just big gaping wounds crying about our lives all the time, especially not me.A weird coping mechanism happens when you have to ignore parts of your environment.Dr. Rhoda Olkin, a distinguished professor at the California School of Professional Psychology and Executive Director of the Institute on Disability and Health Psychologyand who also has polio,spoke about this in an interview.

The article partly explains the funk I’ve been in since I began writing this.Before I came to Rochester I really had close to zero social interaction outside of my family.I was trapped not only by lack of accessibility laws, but also due to not being able to get into others’ homes and not being able to do my own personal care. I didn’t have friends to speak of.I spent a lot of time, as I mentioned, reading.It’s made me very socially awkward with tinges of social anxiety sometimes bordering on panic/anxiety attacks, for huge social events.But with the interactions of friends after coming here, and just because of life in general, I have acquired the skill of ignoring the parts of my environment that are aggravating and hurtful.I have had to develop the mental toughness that has empowered me to climb up stairs to visit people, to get up and face my reality with no reservations or anger. This is what my life is; I will make the best of it.And I have been grateful to have an army of friends who are willing to help me live life to the fullest and share in life’s joys and sorrows.So, over time, I just don’t dwell on the hard things.I adapt, be as flexible as I can and just go on with life. This is not something I was taught to do but what’s the alternative? Being depressed all the time? Hating myself?Sadly, many, especially in the world of SCI, are plagued by depression and self-loathing. People blame themselves, are angry, depressed.Sadly, for a time, I was once one of them.

What I am really talking about here is not just social isolation.Social isolation is one result of what I’d like to call the Trifecta of BS that many people with disabilities have to deal with: Social Security/Healthcare, Transportation and Housing (or should I call it the Quadrilateral of Aggravation?).The two easiest to solve are transportation and housing. But lets focus on the housing. Over the years some design ideas have come about to help solve this issue: universal design and “visitability” aka Inclusive Home Design are just two examples. I am sure you’re asking what those are, and luckily, we need not look further than our own backdoor to our friends at the University at Buffalo for the answers to these questions.

UB has a nationally renowned Center for Inclusive Design and Environmental Accessand you can visit their page on visitabilityto find out more about their projects. They describe visitability as “an affordable, sustainable and inclusive design approach for integrating basic accessibility features into all newly built homes and housing … based on the conviction that inclusion of basic architectural access features in all new homes is a civil and human right and improves livability for all.” The handy booklet which outlines the guidelines is broken down into three conditions: one zero-step entrance at the front, side or rear of the home; 32in wide clearances at doorways and hallways with at least 36 inches of clear width; and, at least an accessible half bath on the main floor.We can say that visitability is a subset of universal design.Universal design is all about the broader view in making products and environments easy to use for ALL people.It does have some standards that include flexibility in use, low physical effort and simple and intuitive designs.You can read some of the standards hereand here in pdf format and you can visit UB’s Center for Inclusive Design and Environmental Access main pageto read more on what they are doing as well as NC State University’s Center for Universal Design.

These ideas of building homes isn’t just about the person with a disability, but about the family unit as a whole. if we build according to these guidelines, then elderly relatives can visit with ease, or if we reach that stage of life, we can stay in our homes and not worry about having to sell it and go into a nursing home because our own home is no longer safe/the cost of renovating is too high. And, god forbid, we acquire a debilitating illness, or suffer an injury if the home is built with universal design and visitablity in mind, that is one huge stress a family does not have to think about: how am (I, they) going to get around in the house? How much will it cost to renovate? It’s funny how we plan for retirement, for kids, but our homes are not built in a manner that is forward thinking in how we will change over time.

Lastly, I would be remiss in not referring you to the site of the woman (and now the group) that spear-headed this movement all the way back to the mid 80s Concrete Change.Eleanor Smith asked a simple question of “If every new bus can have a lift, then why can’t every new house have a zero step entrance?” The group has been making strides all over the world. What about legislation? The Inclusive Home Design Act was proposed but according to govtrack it never became law. I personally would like to see this expanded to requiring apartments with two or more stories to have an elevator. I’ve seen some inconsistencies, some buildings having them, while others do not.And this goes to, again, choice.What if the only available units are upstairs? I’m reminded of one of childhood friend’s old apartment in Canandaigua, if I recall correctly.Awesome wide doors and a bathroom I could easily get into, as well as a leveled entrance to the building.But his apartment was upstairs.We left at around 2am and were giggly and he fell on the stairs as he carried me down.I still feel guilty bout this.So, hopefully, one day, we can live in a society where everyone can come and go as they please, visit friends without hesitation or trepidation, nor worry that their friends may get hurt because they were helping to carry them up flights of stairs.Until then, I’ll relish the summer heat, and get outside as much as I can and enjoy the company of those I love so dearly until Old Man Winter ushers me inside once again.

The Rochester's Young Professionals blog is the place to look for the latest updates on the young professionals scene in Rochester, from career advice to networking events.

Contributors

Kate McGowan is a former Rochester television news reporter now working in the non-profit sector for the nation’s leading children’s charity, Make-A-Wish. She is passionate about inspiring young professionals to use their talents in becoming more actively involved in their communities. Follow her on Twitter at @KateMcGowan

Toni Lynn Arena: I am a digital media specialist by day and a fitness loving, animal activist by night. When I'm not working on self-improvement inside and out, I work with other philanthropists to build awareness within the young professional community and help make a difference.

Andrea Raethka earned a bachelor's in History, Sociology and Women's Studies from the College of Brockport. She is a mother of three young children and is always up for exploring new places for kiddie play dates. She enjoys good food, local shopping and keeping up to date on news, politics and public school issues. Find Andrea on Twitter: @Mango1531.

Ashley Dewey is an internet marketing blogger from Victor who shares thoughts about life and pets.

Audrey Burns is a reader, writer and full-time nostalgist who writes about cultural and social issues in Rochester.

Cynthia Pacia shares thoughts about giving and living in the Rochester area.

Eastman Young Professionals share the latest happenings at George Eastman House.

Habitat for Humanity Young Professionals share life and non-profit experiences, and their journey within Rochester’s changing landscape.

Jason Schwingle is a native of Rochester. He shares his thoughts and ideas on bringing young professionals back to Rochester and to downtown.

Jenna Kempie is the Social Media Chair for the Rochester Young Professionals, and is contributing posts on RYP activities and other helpful insights for young professionals in the community. Jenna enjoys getting out and exploring the area, and talking to people about their Rochester experiences, print and technology - on and offline. Follow Jenna on Twitter: @JennaKempie

Jennifer Galvez Caton is an active arts volunteer who shares her passion and perspective on theater, film, dance and music with young professionals in the Rochester area.

Jerome Nathaniel is a 2011 graduate of the University of Rochester, where he was an executive editor for the Campus Times and a service fellow with the Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence. Now, the Brooklyn native has returned to Rochester as an Americorp Vista at Foodlink, where he's serving as a hunger advocate.

Kayleigh Nutting is a non-profit professional that came to Rochester for college and never left. She is a graduate student and works full time planning special events and fundraising. Follow her as she writes about kicking back, giving back and appreciating the Flower City.

Kristine Caronna, a young professional blogger from Greece, shares her thoughts and updates.

Leah Shearer is a young professional and two-time cancer survivor from Rochester. She shares her unique perspective on all things - the serious, the silly and everything in between.

Luticha Doucette is a student researcher, activist and humanist who sees the world from a seated position. She chronicles life as a disable person seeking a PhD. position in biophysics at Yale or John Hopkins universities, and beyond.

Maria Thomas is the chair of RocCity Coalition, who is passionate about education and the needs of city youth. She writes about various opportunities for young professionals to get involved in the community.

Olga Podzorov is an agent with Nothnagle Realtors. She is a community activist and passionate philanthropist who is committed to working with young professionals. She covers a variety of real estate issues.

Ruth Harper-Rhode, a St. Bonaventure University graduate, does public relations for a local nonprofit. She moved to Rochester from a small city in 2011 and lived on Park Ave before moving to Penfield, where she currently resides.

Terra Keller sends updates from the staff at Foodlink, a popular regional food bank.

Stefanie Schwingle is a Rochester native and has worked at Wegmans Corporation for the past 10 years, but her interests lie in entrepreneurship and communication and her passions include urban living, photography, and cooking. Stefanie lives downtown with her husband and loves everyday life in the city.

Taren Greenidge earned her B.A. in Economics and Political Science, cum laude, in 2007 from Spelman College and her J.D. from Duke University School of Law in 2010. She is an associate at Littler Mendelson, P.C, a U.S.-based international law firm exclusively devoted to representing management in every aspect of labor and employment law. Taren is the president of the Black Young Professionals of Rochester, an auxiliary of the Urban League of Rochester, N.Y., Inc., which targets individuals ages 21 through 40 to foster growth and professional development, to empower members to achieve success and to strive to improve the community.