Thursday, November 14, 2013

Any preschool teacher has undoubtedly heard the comment dozens of times: “My Daddy is bigger than your Daddy.” Today, that comment may have changed a bit to something like, “My Daddy is a bigger lawyer than your Daddy and can sue your Daddy” or “My Daddy has more stocks and real estate than your Daddy”, but it’s the same basic idea.

To compensate for their being small, children often point to an adult in their lives who is bigger and more accomplished than they are. The message is, “I may be small, but I have this big guy on my side who will vouch for me and defend me”; “I may be small but I have a Daddy looking out for me who won’t allow anyone to mess with me!”

Rav Shimshon Pinkus zt’l related that one night an aspiring doctor in the middle of his residency, was told that he would be in charge of an entire ward of the hospital that night. With many patients and no other doctors on call, it was sure to be a challenge. But he was told as soon as it became too much for him there was an available phone which had a direct line to other doctors and nurses who would immediately wake up and come to his aid.

The evening began quietly, and the doctor was able to take care of everything himself. Although he was worn out he was proud of his ability to keep everything in order by himself. However, as midnight approached, there was a sudden explosion of issues, as numerous patients required immediate care simultaneously. The doctor ran through the ward with all of his strength and tried to tend to all of the issues. By the end of the night, two patients were in serious conditions due to lack of treatment, and one other was on the verge of death.

The doctor was summoned before the hospital authorities and warned that they were going to be forced to press charges against him for endangering the lives of the patients under his care. The doctor was shocked. “There was absolutely nothing more I could have done,” he countered. “I was put in an impossible situation and I pushed myself to my limit.” The director of the hospital shook his head. “You are wrong. There was something more you could have, and should have done. You were told that there was a phone line available for us. Why did you arrogantly try to do everything yourself? Why didn’t you utilize the means of assistance that were available to you? It was your naïveté and hubris that convinced you to try to go it alone. Therefore you are indeed culpable!”

Rav Pinkus noted that we are placed in a world with myriad challenges and confusion. But we are giving a phone line, an address to turn to whenever we need help – it’s the power of prayer, the Siddur, and Tehillim. If we fail to take advantage of that ability it’s our own foolishness.

My Daddy is indeed the biggest of them all. Lucky for us, we share the same Daddy!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

The light fixture hanging in our kitchen when we first moved onto 3 Landau Lane was ancient. In fact, I think it was there before Edison discovered the light bulb. The first time one of the bulbs went out I climbed up to see what how much wattage the replacement bulb would need. I quickly realized that the wattage was the least of my concerns. The bulb itself looked like a miniature alien with a helmet on top and two little prongs sticking out, poised to attack. Where was I going to find this type of bulb? After searching in vain in a few stores, I searched on line and was delighted to find that line of bulbs there. By now more of the kitchen bulbs had burnt out, and it was becoming increasingly darker in our kitchen.

I ordered a few different sizes of the strange looking bulbs. When they finally arrived I excitedly announced to my family that we would once again be able to see what we were eating for dinner. I plugged the bulbs in and turned the light on. There was a sudden spark and then the room went dark!

The only good thing was that when Hurricane Sandy knocked out our power on Monday evening, October 30, 2012, while we were in the middle of supper, we hardly noticed that we had lost power.

The moral of the story is that light fixtures will only illuminate if the correct type of bulb and wattage are inserted. Anything else and the greatest light fixture in the world will be futile.

Melachim II, Chapter 4, relates the story of the barren Shunamite woman who was promised a child by Elisha Hanavi. Indeed she had a child, but a few years later he suddenly died. When Elisha was informed about what occurred, he rushed to the child’s bedside with his assistant Gechazi.

Gechazi immediately “placed his staff upon him”, but it had no effect upon the lifeless child. Elisha then proceeded towards the child: “He lay upon the boy, placing his mouth upon his mouth, his eyes upon his eyes, and his palms upon his palms. He stretched himself out over him and warmed the flesh of the boy.”

Rav Meir Shapiro zt’l gleaned from this incident timeless insight into educating and reviving the spirit of a wayward child. Gechazi’s method, utilizing a stick and trying to force compliance, will not be effective in reviving a child’s soul.

Rather, one must utilize the approach of Elisha. Firstly, one must shut the door; close yourself out from everything else. No cell phone or other distractions. Build a connection with the child and demonstrate that you care. “Place your palms upon his palms”, take the child by the hand, hold him and show him that you care about him, “Mouth to Mouth” - Talk to the child in a way he can understand and relate to, “Eyes on Eyes” – try to view things from the child's perspective!

If one follows this approach, “The flesh of the child will become warm” the child’s spirit will be invigorated and revitalized.

A light fixture will only give off light if a compatible bulb is inserted into it. The inner light of any person, especially a child, will only shine if a compatible approach is employed.

I’m happy to say that when we redid our kitchen recently we replaced the fixture completely. And we lived happily ever after… until a door handle became loose.