Toad licking - Ever been tempted? DON'T: read this magisterial blog piece on the dangers of Toadlicking first!. But for a really fun time, look for this hilarious documentary at your local independant video store: "Cane Toads: An Unnatural History": "When the Australian sugarcane crop was attacked by beetles, someone decided to import cane toads to combat the pests. But somebody didn't do their homework: beetles can fly, but cane toads can't. What can cane toads do? Reproduce, big time..." [I'll graciously leave the post on Australian plagues - of rabbits, toads, and so on - for somebody else. Then, of course, there's Kudzu and Killer Bees...]posted by troutfishing (38 comments total)

Jesus can't people just learn to buy their shit from a dealer or something? Are druggies really this cheap that they have to go around harassing wildlife for a fix?posted by PenDevil at 8:43 AM on December 5, 2002

I'd say they need a lesson in website design. It hurts my eyes to keep bumping into underlined words.posted by squidman at 8:48 AM on December 5, 2002

I licked a slug once. Immediately upon contact, an odd, slimy substance took over the surface of my tongue and numbed it almost completely. It took forever to go away, water and Coke having almost no effect. It was a teenaged dare, and I won't ever do it again. It didn't even get me high. It was just gross.posted by maniactown at 9:01 AM on December 5, 2002

Just stick with DMT kids. Best. Shit. Ever.posted by i_cola at 9:23 AM on December 5, 2002

DMT. Sounds great but availability is limited. Where you find ... DMT??posted by Mondo at 9:28 AM on December 5, 2002

Damn, i cola, the banana recipe is more of a pain in the ass than trying to smoke peanut skins. (no, i've never tried either).posted by Ufez Jones at 9:33 AM on December 5, 2002

Just don't think of the grandeur of the toad while you are giving in to the siren call of onanism!posted by Kafkaesque at 9:40 AM on December 5, 2002

Meet me by the payphone at Freemont & Howard...

Ufez: Pain in the ass?!? Yer s'posed to eat the inside of the banana ;-)posted by i_cola at 9:53 AM on December 5, 2002

...I just thought I'd lighten up un the political posts for a bit....but the video really is funny - as you can tell if you follow my "Cane Toads" link and see the cover of the video: a little girl of about 4, grinning widely, holding a Cane Toad about the size and shape of a basketball.....posted by troutfishing at 10:03 AM on December 5, 2002

no sir, never been tempted to lick toad.posted by quonsar at 10:06 AM on December 5, 2002

Also, the link above reports that 5-MEO-DMT is effective when ingested. I could be wrong (IANA neuropharmacologist), but IIRC DMT and near relatives will be broken down by monoamine oxidase before they reach the brain when ingested. Consequently, for oral administration to be effective, some type of monoamine oxidase inhibitor must also be present. There are a lot of potential physical dangers here, so if anyone is interested in this stuff, do your homework. Google food: "monoamine oxidase inhibitors" (throw in some stuff about wine and cheese or about SSRIs.), "Banisteriopsis caapi", "ayahuasca", "beta-carbolines".

Troutfishing- ever see that Simpsons?posted by jeb at 10:11 AM on December 5, 2002

they used to show the cane toad movie at my highschool every year during "arts week" - not sure why exactly, but it's a real classic. i'm gonna have to pick up that DVD.posted by soplerfo at 10:33 AM on December 5, 2002

Because they're so flipping big, cane toads generate huge quantities of bufotoxins, enough to kill dogs and (in Australia) venomous snakes that bite them. (Those deadly snakes that Steve-o freehandles on Crocodile Hunter? They try to eat these toads and they die.)

They're native to Mexico, Central and South America; the northernmost limit of their natural range is the southern tip of Texas. They've been introduced in a number of places, including Florida and Hawaii (as well as the previously mentioned Australia, where they are a serious problem) where folks got it into heads that they'd make good pest control agents. Instead they show up on people's back porches, eating from the dog's food dish, and poison the indigenous frog-and-toad eaters.

They show up in pet stores occasionally and, being toads (i.e., a rather rugged terrestrial frog that's pretty hard to kill through incompetence), are okay as a terrarium animal -- and when you're dealing with an introduced species that's one way of dealing with them. But, um, wash your hands after you handle them. Apart from not licking them, but that's kind of obvious.

Compared with other toads, which go for a few dollars each, Colorado River toads are surprisingly expensive on live-animal dealer price lists, for some inexplicable reason.posted by mcwetboy at 10:38 AM on December 5, 2002

Troutfishing- ever see that Simpsons?

my first thought on seeing this post was that it was a rerun last night.posted by mdn at 10:40 AM on December 5, 2002

jeb, mdn - yeah I did see that Simpsons, but not last night. I happened on the Cane Toad blog because of the post today on that big, ugly, vacant (and likely to collapse) 100+ hotel in North Korea: linked to same blog site, and I poked around, found the toadlicking piece and thought "Oh yeah.....those toads.....Metafilter!"

If anyone cares to research it, I remember a news story of at least one guy in North America busted for Toadlicking. The court trial must have been a hoot:

(Judge) "So, Mr. X, you committed the illegal act of licking an hallucinogenic toad to become high?"
(Defendant) "Well not exactly, You Honour - I scraped some of the toxic residue from the skin of the Toad and smoked it."
(Judge, to court recorder) "Strike that last reply, and indicate that Mr. X indicated an affirmative to my first question"
(Judge) "Keep it simple Mr. X - You licked the Toad."

(Defendant) "But that's not really accurate!"
(Judge) "One more word out of you on that, Mr. X, and I'll throw in Contempt of Court charges on top of your Toad Licking."posted by troutfishing at 11:08 AM on December 5, 2002

Or ...

(Judge) "So, Mr. X, you committed the illegal act of licking an hallucinogenic toad to become high?"

(Defendant) "No sir. I was licking the toad for ... um ... other reasons."posted by risenc at 11:25 AM on December 5, 2002

that must've ruled. Where is thesmokinggun when you really need them?posted by jeb at 11:55 AM on December 5, 2002

hrm - i'd always heard that licking Dendrobates pumilio, the Strawberry Poinon Dart frog was another way of getting high - it's aparently one of the milder poison dart frogs out there. Don't go licking any golden frogs (from the genus Phyllobates) - that'll kill ya!posted by jearbear at 12:15 PM on December 5, 2002

even better than cane toads: an unnatural history is the homage natural history of the chicken, featuring "miracle mike," the headless wonder chicken, and valerie, the chicken who rufused to go into the light.posted by steef at 12:25 PM on December 5, 2002

jearbear: I hadn't heard that about D. pumilio, which is one of the more popular pet poison-arrow frogs; my frog-keeping friends have clearly been holding out on me. But I'm told that the poison in dendrobatid (poison arrow) frogs is related to their diet in the wild; as a result, captured frogs gradually lose their toxicity, and captive-bred frogs, which is increasingly what's available, aren't the least bit toxic. Too bad for the pumilio-suckers.

steef: You do realize that you've just activated the WonderchickensignalTM?posted by mcwetboy at 12:53 PM on December 5, 2002

Ah the cane toad. As a young lad in north Queensland, many a boring night was enlivened by hitting them with hockey sticks or cricket bats. They come right apart if you do it right. Never smoked their skin, but I know a few people who used to douse them in flammable liquid and set them alight.posted by skinsuit at 3:38 PM on December 5, 2002

Well, once the various golf associations finish banning Callaway's ERC II drivers, I can suggest an excellent use for them. As mentioned above, cane toads are excellent for use as a mini impact bag for swing drills (hard to putt, though). They feel awful and frighten the crap out of you if you step on them in the dark, by the way.

Another popular local sport can be seen after rain on the local roads, when the evil toads seem to gravitate towards the bitumen at night.

I have heard that a particularly cruel way to deal with them is to dose their backs with salt, but that is too nasty even for me.

Has there ever been a case when an introduced species has done what it was supposed to, without the side-effects being worse than the intended effects?posted by dg at 5:01 PM on December 5, 2002

dg - NO!...er, um...well, I'm actually totally ignorant on that, but no just seems rightposted by troutfishing at 9:30 PM on December 5, 2002

(Judge) "So, Mr. X, you committed the illegal act of licking an hallucinogenic toad to become high - or was it for other reasons?"
(Defendant) "What do you mean, Your Honour, - I just scraped some of the toxic residue from the skin of the Toad and smoked it."
(Judge, to court recorder) "Strike that last reply, and indicate that Mr. X indicated an affirmative to my first question"
(Judge to Defendant) "Keep it simple Mr. X - You licked the Toad. What your reasons actually were..your kind disturbs me, Mr. X"

(Defendant) ("but...")

(Judge) "One more word out of you on that, Mr. X, and I'll throw in bestiality and perversion charges on top of your Toad Licking."posted by troutfishing at 9:36 PM on December 5, 2002

follow my "Cane Toads" link and see the cover of the video: a little girl of about 4, grinning widely, holding a Cane Toad about the size and shape of a basketball.....

God, I love that little girl. I especially love it when she dresses her pet toad in little doll frocks and says 'Sometimes I call him Greenie. And sometimes I call him Reddie. And sometimes I call him Cane-Almost-Toad. And sometimes, I call him Dairy Queen.'posted by hot soup girl at 3:27 AM on December 6, 2002

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