Houston burger joint tells patrons to pull up pants or don't come in

I don't know about you, but I like my shoulders to be the same temperature as the rest of my arms.

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Overdone cutouts

You want to keep your dress to cutout ratio at about 5:1.

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The mullet dress

I thought we discussed this in 2012. Maybe reverse therapy will work. Wear a mullet dress every day. Every. Single. Day.

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Chambray

It's not that there's anything WRONG with chambray. It's just that there's nothing RIGHT about it either. Unless you need some new shop rags.

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Peplum

If you're going to wear peplum, at least make it useful and hide a fanny pack under it.

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High-waisted cutoff shorts

It looks like Huggies. On a grown woman.

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Scary boot-shoes

If your shoes are going over your knee, they are no longer shoes. Why not have them go all the way up, and they can be pants, too? And don't forget the new cold-kneecaps trend, not to be combined with the cold-shoulder.

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Hats made of fake animals

You are not a rabbit, a magic bear or a 5-year-old girl.

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One-shoulder shirts

This trend died already and was reborn. Don't let it stick around long enough to become a 2014 retro look in 2044.

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Festival fashion

Let's take a moment to imagine what would happen if a music festival occurred and no one wore flower headbands, knee socks or bathing suits? Would the entire festival world just explode?

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Sheer disturbances

Large expanses of see-through fabric are best left for the living room curtains.

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Crop tops

Can they put peplum on the crop top and maybe some cold-shoulder cutouts? It might help this retro trend.

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Pixie cuts

Attention: We have officially reached our celebrity pixie cut quota for the next three years. For celebs looking to make a hair statement, may I suggest the rattail or the bowl cut.

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Jumpsuits

Does anyone actually enjoy wearing a jumpsuit? And is it that hard to pick a top and a bottom that match each other?

There's no ambiguity about trouser protocol at one west Houston hamburger restaurant.