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Republicans can never seem to find the perfect presidential candidate. The choice always seems to fall somewhere between a bat-shit Evangelical like Michele Bachmann and a flip-flopping stiff like Mitt Romney. Well, our crack staff has searched high and low and we think we've found the perfect candidate for the GOP. He's not afraid to stand up to Obama, he's anti-gay, he's pro-oil, he's an outdoorsman and a hunter and his approval rating is at 72%. Meet your new Republican nominee...