( I Have to give credit for Tom McQuaid, a very dear friend of mine for the circuit party reference.)

We are ready for the siege,

we are armed up to the teeth.

Be careful how you live and breathe,

release what’s brewing underneath.

How many times do you wanna die?

How many ways do you wanna die?

To feel safe again look over your shoulder.

Very carefully, look over your shoulder

The Royal We – SILVERSUN PICKUPS

Randy’s eyes where dark even darker than the bar at that moment. It send a cold shiver down my back and I clutched the gun tighter. His steps where quicker than mine for every step I gave back wards he seemed to give five forward before I knew it he griped my by the throat his face red in anger and slammed me against the wall. I choked then gasped at the sudden force. He loosened his grip but his eyes never left mine.

“Fucking brat!” Spit came flying to my face the way he rushed the words out. I taste blood when his fist collided with my lip.

“Fucking brat!” His hand slammed through the pace of dry wall next to my face. He sinks his head in to my neck and shoulder and wept, shake and shivers as tears and a mournful sorrow cry escaped him.

I tucked the gun into a pocket of the trench coat and embraced him into the hug. I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t even if there was the right words to say they wouldn’t be profound or take away his pain. I just held him and he cried. Yea he hit me, he choked me, so what. He was my friend and he needed me. He fell to his knees, and buried his face into my stomach still crying. I dabbed at the cut on my lip with my tong and gazed up, brought my hands around his head and pressed him hard against me. My gaze found the ceiling and I felt my own tears trail down my cheeks.

We were a family. A leather family. Me, Thor and Randy and Daile and a couple of others. Don’t get me wrong some of the guys shared lovers but Thor never shared and he would be doomed if he would take another sub while I was still under his owner ship. Now I knew, he loved me and would never take another. Family—Randy was my family and the others. Pete, Claire, Baily and little Emma. Family.

“Randy?” he looked up at me tears still hugging his face, knowing that protocol didn’t mean shit any more.

“God Kenneth I’m sorry” he stood up so fast the whiskey smell on his breath made me a little drunk. He rubbed those salty rough finger over my lip, and kissed me with that alcohol drench mouth, yea we kissed not hot fuck kiss like Thor would but Randy and Daile greeted me with a kiss. But I think this kiss just came to emphasize how sorry he was and he was a little drunk.

“I’m not angry Randy.” My eyes found his just as wet and drowning as his own.

“Thomas?”

I shook my head, “I don’t know, he left for work that morning. I—” rubbing my tears away and not able to look him in the face cause I know I’d just start crying again and to be honest I’m fucking sick of it. It’s getting annoying. “I haven’t fond him yet and I’m not hoping on it either.”

He pulls away from me, turns and steppes to the bar. Relived for the break of him I move, take of the trench coat and un-zip the hoodie. My bare skin stiffened as the cold sensation ran over me.

“There’s still t-shirts?”

He looked up at me his eyes trailed over my naked chest down and up again and focus’s on the collar.

“You still wearing that?” his stepped back to me and grips my chin in his fingers and dabbed a damp cloth against my bleeding lip. I could feel them the tears burn so close my eyes.

“We all need something to hold on to Randy, memories or a souvenir. Whether it would be to just hold on to our self or someone we lost, or our humanity—” his hand shook and dabbed the cloth a bit too hard against my lip so I opened my eyes, the pain still present in his is. The reminder what he had done and the burden he now caries. I’ve seen it be fore in people but never understood what it meant, now I do.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

He said nothing just dabbed against my lip again.

“The shirts are in the back, there should be a medium in there somewhere.” I left him there and when to the back room found the box of t-shirts the bar tenders used, well never used actuality, and scoot through the box. It smelled moldy as I pull it over my head and down my chest, it fitted a little to snug, but it’s the best I could find. Coming back in the bar, Randy’s back at the counter and there’s a bottle before him opened and glass but it’s dry and empty.

“Randy, I know it’s hard and you probably don’t want to go back out there but,” I step behind the bar and stood closer to him. His eyes still red but no tears. “I have friends, we’re a group of six,—”

“No, I’m not letting you out there” he gripes the bottle and starts poring.

“There’s a little girl with them, she only seven. Pleas.”

He place the bottle down. “No, not during the day.” I frown as he swallows the half-full glass in one gulp.

“What do you mean?”

“We are not going out there during the day, its saver at night, your friends just have to keep alive till then.”

“OK, hang on what do you mean, and I’m not asking about my friends but about saver at night?”

He beams at me but softens his eyes. “It get quiet during the night. Those things they go some place almost into hiding when the sun sets.” I was about to ask for more detail but he kept talking.

“The second night I went out of the bar, it was like a ghost town. Not a groan or a sound, dead like eerie dead.”

I kept quite, running it through my head of course the suburbs and the city’s would be much warmer than the open grass and farm fields. I recall Baily’s words that maybe they are attracted to something, the sun? No heat. This morning it was still cold and as it got warmer that’s when they appeared. So they are drawn to heat, but why?

I could hear them walking and groaning outside the bar as we waited for night fall, hunger was present in my stomach and I kept praying the rest of the group would stay put if it was save for them there. Some where through the waiting I had dosed off into sleep. Whether it was just from my mind being tired or my body or my subconscious just wanted to shut down I didn’t know. I woke with a fire blanket around me, an arm around my shoulder and my head leaning against Randy’s chest. Empty whiskey bottle in his other hand and snoring. Gently and quietly as I could I broke away from him. It was dark in the club now so dark that I had to stand for a couple of seconds for my eyes to a just from sleep and to the light. Finally I moved and grab the trench coat and slipped it on, went to the bar, got a glass and tried to fill my hunger, drenching it with water. I’d need something to eat soon though maybe when we’re out we can check a shop for food. The sharp pierce of a flash light shone in my face.

“Sorry,” he switched of the light, still half dazed with blindness I feel for the gun.

“Randy I’m going to give this back to you but don’t you dear and I mean even try to pull that shit you pulled earlier.” I handed him the gun but didn’t let go when he gripped it. His fingers brushed against mine and he stopped pulling when he realized I wasn’t going to let go.

“You’re all I have now Randy,” Yes there was sadness in my voice “pleas don’t let me regret it.”

He sniffed but didn’t say anything and I let go of the gun.

We stepped out of the leather bar into a new silent and horrendous world. My nerves where on end as fear seemed to rattle my teeth. There was no lights, no cars and no noise except for the wind blowing papers or an empty discarded food container or cup. The smell was a different story, death and decay hung dense in the air like humidity on a hot summer’s day.

My breath quickened and my heart pounded. His hand on my neck made me jump. For two resins completely different from another. One the quick connection to unsuspected touching and the other, Thor always touched me there and only he did.

“Sorry didn’t mean to scare you,” he reaches for the same spot again but I give a step back.

“Kenneth?” he took a step to wards me and I took in a sharp breath.

“Boy, are you okay?” the familiar word and authority he held in his voice seemed to calm me for some reason.

“I’m fine just no touching the spot he touched.” Whether he understood what I meant or not he didn’t reach for my neck or me again.

He eased back in a step, my head and eyes keep going in all directions, trying to recall which way to get to where I left them. All I could remember from running for my life was a steel gate and piled up cars. My mind was hostile with my logic expecting to hear noises so familiar to the world be fore it change, for someone to talk or walk around a corner, a car to zoom past with load music or even a groan or gargle but nothing just the swish sound of the wind.

“Let’s go,”

I walked close to him, close enough that I could smell the sweat on his body and the alcohol on Randy’s breath. He seemed to know where we were going as we turned a corner the pile up of traffic came in to view.

“This is where I found you Kenneth, so you where coming from this direction.” he points with the flash light and it falls on the thing that was going to sink its teeth in to me.

“Randy?”

“Yea?”

“Thanks big guy.”

He sighed heavily then turned away.

“I was out this morning looking for one of them, hoping it would bite me and kill me then I heard you running, didn’t know it was you till I saw you fall when it jumped you.”

He turned back to me again, a hunted look on his face. Though his eyes weren’t so red anymore they still held the empty cold expression.

“Maybe it was sign.” I said.

“What, from who? God?” Randy gave a sarcastic chuckle. “You seriously want to have this discussion now?”

“No.” I grumbled.

“So where did you leave them” he starts walking forward.

“Not sure I was running, being stalked again.” He caught the humor in that one with a faint laugh. Yea I had stalkers, but now’s not the time to tell you how Thor got all jealous and it was almost the end of us, later though I will.

I kept my eyes on the right side of me because the gate was on the left side when we came running down the street. After five-minutes I recognized something that was familiar. There was a red car parked on the street in front of the gate I slammed down. Strange how small detail creeps into your mind even though you don’t register it.

“Here, shine the flash light here Randy.”

The light bounced off agents the gate and cast the gates shadow on to the warehouse. I halt my breath as I moved closer, no movement and no blood. Stepping up to the gate I could see blood against it, my eyes trail down to the floor where— fingers? Randy came closer and shone the flash light to where I was looking. I saw the spades steel part laying on the floor and the broken end not far from it.

“Can I have the flash light?” He hesitates but hands it to me. So I guide the light to the warehouse, Randy tried lifting up the gate but it didn’t move just rattled and the noise send chills over and down my spine. I shake the sensation off, just being nerves on end. I follow the light as I move it, there’s a stare case leading back up to the top’s back part of the store too a door.

“Do you know what shop this is?” I turned to him, handing him back the flash light. Randy makes frown and looks back at the warehouse, took a step back then looks up at the building.

“Think it’s the back-end of Mr. Tso shop.”

“You mean Ts’o not Tso.” I looked over to him and gave a faint smile.

“Don’t play smart with me boy, always said Thor didn’t spank you enough.” He teased back.

I laugh, actually laugh and he patted me on the back.

“Come on, if your friends were smart let’s hope they stayed in the shop.”

Following Randy further up the street and turning the corner I saw more of the dark city and my mind wandered again where they would go when night falls. Underground where it be warmer? Dose it mean then what ever has caused this that the cold would be the end of them. I sent a silent prier up to whom ever was still plug into be the superior being over us. Coming around the opposite side I started moving fester and almost walked past the shop. Randy was right by the door out stretching his hand when I stopped him.

“No,” I whispered.

His eye brows frowned joining to getter.

“You might have military experience but I have zombie experience, and trust me you don’t just rush into a shop no matter how quite this one looks.” I turned my head to the glass. I could hear Randy huff out an irritated breathe but I ignored it.

“Don’t turn on the flash light either.”

He glared at me in stare that would have any other sub squirm.

I sighed “Listen, I’m not trying to sound bossy but growing up with the books and games and movies I just like to stick to what I know and what my movie-game-novel instincts are telling me OK”

“That’s cute Kenneth, fucking cu—” he jumped when Emma pressed her face against the glass. Though I have to add I think I earned a couple of gray hairs in that instants too.

“Ken!!” She shouted.

I quickly turn to her with my finger to my lips.

“Emma get back here!” one of the two girls said. Baily saw me then and I had to smile and be fore I knew it she was running to the door, unlocked it and Kenneth met tits in his face!

“Kenneth!” she half shouted whispered and babbled through tears all while my face was still being attacked by tits!

“Ken! Ken!” Baily let go of me then and Emma ran to wards me, going down on one knee I scooped her up and hugged her to me. OK now just wait a second. I’m not this affectionate ever with random people I barely know let alone little kids, but I think I was just to over come with joy at discovering they are alive that I showed weakness in that moment.

“You’re alive?” came Claire voice, who I expected to hug me. She didn’t. Claire just stood at the door and folded her arms around her self.

“Yea I’m alive.” I let Emma down just as Pete pushed past Claire rather rough. He was walking to me with a harden expression on his face thought he was going to hug me too. So I let out my arms brought them up to embrace my best friend.

“Hay Pet—”

His fist met me straight on the side of the jaw and I stumbled back wards.

“Fucking fag what the hell where you thinking?” he jumped on me then and two more blows hit my face one above the eye and another on the lips the metallic taste of blood in my mouth was strong and I braced my self for another blow but it didn’t came.

“You ass, Kenny fuck you!” spit came flying out of his mouth as he spoke. I sat up dazed and my face felt tender when I squinted my eyes. I moved my jaw trying to ease the pain then spit out some blood.

I looked at him, Randy must have pulled him of me because he look like insect snared in a web the way Randy’s arms held him. He managed to squirm loose but turned around and hit Randy in the chest.

“And you! You must be the bitch that took him from me!” Randy simply just griped him by the throat and spoke to his face.

“Kenneth you better tell your black friend to quite down before I crack his head on the pavement.” Though the words were spoken towards me Randy’s eyes never left Pete’s face. I could somehow understand Pete’s actions, he was angry that I was alive and didn’t come to them immediately and the fag comment well I guess that’s just to get back at me for calling him black.

I stood up as Pete was let go of Randy’s grip.

“Don’t ever call me bitch!” even I could hear the warning in Randy’s tone. His angered eyes glared dark at me.

“You call this your friend? Well hell I’d hate to meet your family.” Randy turned around and stated walking off. It hurt what he said but—

“Kenneth you okay?” asked Baily. My eyes went from her to little Emma, the poor kid look frightened and confused.

“I’m fine, take Emma inside I’ll be right behind you.” I walked off after Randy, then started a past as I’d never meet up with his long strides.

“Randy wait, pleas” still some bleeding in my mouth and I could feel my lip and eye bank begin to swell.

Of course he didn’t turn a round, just kept walking. Once I reached him I griped his arm.

“Randy listen, I’m sorry.”

He spun around and in the same movement slammed me back against the wall.

I understand now why Pete said I always chose the bad ones. The two present men in my life both had had their fill of taking it out on me in the course of one day, not to mention those things trying to eat me earlier this morning.

He breathe hard into my face as his blood-shot and tiered eyes looked in to mine.

“Just let me be Kenneth, you found your friends now go join them.”

“You said you you’d hate to meet my family, well guess what you just did and news flash big guy your part of that family.” I turned my voice soft “They and you are all I have.” He swallowed hard, I could hear it but his face expression never softened. He still held me by the shoulder so I took my right hand and ran it over his . “We are all we have left, remember what I said about souvenirs?”

He looked down at the ground, I could feel his grip on my shoulder tighten and his fingers press into my skin. He let go and turned to ward the direction of the store. I just dragged behind him not really prepared to face the music that was waiting for me in side. I stepped in and at the same moment my head went up to the smell of food. Baily stepped forward.

“Hi, I’m Baily” she out stretched her hand to Randy.

He didn’t take her hand, just said “Randy,” and went to go sit on concrete steps not far from the counter. He kept his gaze away from me and the rest of the group.

After a while, I ate some of the noodles we found. It wasn’t much just, icky worms as Emma revered to them, but it was sufficient for now. Pete didn’t speak to me since me and Randy entered the shop. Wile we ate Randy kept his distance. No one offer him a bowl nor did he come get one. Dam over sensitive men and there fucking pride. So me being who I am not giving a shit about big macho egos getting in the way. I scooped up two containers full of noodles and turned to walk of to Randy.

“What are you dong” Pete’s voice sniped sharp in my ear.

I glared back at him “Taking some food for Randy and if you have an issue with that you can sort it out with me after” and I draw out the word slow to make it clear to him “I have sheared our food with the other in our group because yes Peter he is part of our group. Like it or not.”

“I thought his name was Thomas?”

I just walked of not bothering to explain who Randy is. I really didn’t have the energy for his immaturity right now.

“Hey here’s something to eat,” he took the bowl of noodles from me and start digging in with his fingers but let go as the warm food burnt them, then licked at them. It was kind of cute.

I slumped down be fore him against the wall and kept quite while he ate. So I begun to assess our situation. We need supplies mainly food and water. Emma needs some better clothes, well all of us do for the approaching winter and we at least need to get some first aid supplies.

It’s strange for as long as I could remember I always had a plan and a back up plan but now, that I had other people to include in the plan it made things different and exhausting to ponder on which could only mean my mind was tiered. Can’t blame the poor organ with all the shit it had to proses and with all the head banging to-day.

“Thank you.” Randy’s voice sounded as drained as my mind felt. I turn to him and frowned.

“You um—” I reached for his lip and swiped the piece of noodle with my finger “Had something on your face.”

I didn’t see his expression as I scraped the piece of noodle on the edge of the plastic bucket. Lucky there was a gas burner where we cooked the noodles on and used the containers as bowls. Emma had much fun eating with her fingers. I looked over to her asleep on Baily’s lap, Baily sitting against the wall her head resting and eyes closed maybe she was a sleep I didn’t know.

“You should get some rest, I will take watch” Randy stood up but I caught his wrist and he looked down at me.

“You sleep, you need it more than me.” He didn’t argue, maybe he was way more tired then what I thought he was and maybe the alcohol was taking its toll on him. I went to go sit on the counter waiting for the sun to rise thinking to my self we should barricade the shop some how but not able to pull the energy to do so.

Time went slow as I watched trough that window wile Randy and one of the girls having snoring contest. That’s when my spine creaked to the nose of some one dragging their feet over tar, a straggler, one of them yet it was almost as if something was wrong with it. OK-OK yes there’s everything wrong with it with the flesh and intestines hanging out and its one arm missing but it was more the way it moved. Like a drug addict going through with drawl symptoms. It was disoriented, its head kept going in all directions but shaking like it had a nerve defect. The hand and fingers as well, kept twitching. Its walk was slow dragging its feet and it held it posture in a humped back manner, almost like it’s ducking, shoulders drawn in and neck and head drawn down. It was cold out there and even in the shop. When it finally had moved past the shop I got off the counter and quietly went to the door peeking through the glass to see if there was others. I opened the door making extra sure to make as little nose as possible. It was still unaware of me even when I stepped on paper cup lid, the plastic making a crack nose, it didn’t turn its head or spun around. I saw a metal pipe laying a couple of feet a head of me. It looked like someone broke the thing because it had sharp end where the break must have occurred. Picking it up the end scraped against the tart and I immediately pulled it up. The nose amplified through the silence and the thing must have registered it but it didn’t it just kept going. I took a deep breath and walked up to it. Making sure my distance is far enough to reach it with the end of the pipe I poke it. And it turned to that side than looked in to the darkness. I poked it on the other side and it made the same action I poked it again on the neck then lower back on the back of the leg but not once did it turn around to face its poker.

“Yo ugly” I called to it. Then it did turn round but even though it looked right at me it looked like it didn’t register me standing there. The eyes where milk-white and I could see orange growths in it.

“Your blind? “ I poked it again and it twitched to where it felt the poke come from. I stepped around circled it and poked it from the back again it turned and did the same in the direction it felt the poke.

As I circled it again to my first position I tried something different, if it felt the poke I wonders if it would feel pain. So I dabbed the sharp point into its shoulder the metal perched through a bit too easy with the little force I placed in it. Though it gargled softly it didn’t pay much attention as something should when you have steel pipe stabbed in to you. It sounded like it got pissed though making huffing noses like a dog do when they pant, almost similar tobrachycephalic dogs. It was just down right weird and a bit hilarious to be honest. Up until someone placed there hand on my shoulder

“What the fuck,” Baily whispered. “Kenneth are you completely insane?”

“No,” I didn’t turn to her even though the thing seemed harmless now I wasn’t going to stretch the chance, it was still dangerous. The thought did cross my mind to kill it and take it back and open it up just to see what was going on inside the body.

“It’s not attacking us?”

“Um you mentioned something and then Randy said something so I saw this one walking past and wanted to see something.”

“Something like what” she asked “and what’s up with your boyfriend?”

“Wow woman!” I turned to her, “Randy and I are well just friends and he is not my boyfriend.”

“Grwag!”

“You see even brain-dead understands that much.” I turned back to it.

“So you gone kill it?”

“Why don’t you kill it?” I asked taking a step back as brain-dead gave a step forward.

“No… No way in hell.” She moved be hind me.

“Its easy just get it in the head OK.” I pushed the steel pipe into her hands even though she said she wouldn’t do it she still gripped the pipe.

So I stepped away “Think of it Baily,” I made sure my voice sound bitter at that moment “Think of what it stole from you, make it pay for what it did. You mentioned your dad, yea it killed your dad now time for—”

OK so she didn’t stab it but smacked it right in the face hard, that blood drizzled down in the center of its face. Brain-dead, slung and swayed for a couple of seconds still twitching and panting.

Baily slammed it again swinging up, connecting with its jaw then brought the pipe down hitting it against the head. Each hit send Brian-dead’s face in the direction. The third hit was so hard it just toppled back wards falling over on its back. It lie there softly panting. Guilt flood my body in vengeance. Brain-dead was a human once with feeling and family and here I’m teaching Baily to face it off like it’s just another thing.

I griped her shoulder and took the pipe from her. She sniffed and wiped some moister from under her eyes.

“I’m sorry, this wasn’t necessary.” I kept my voice low because I knew what I did was inhuman. To forcing her to face her own resolve when she wasn’t ready for it. She kept quite as we walked back to the store upon reaching the door I stopped, jogged back to brain-dead and brought the sharp part down between his eyes, again the way the metal just pierced into his skin and skull like it was butter puzzled me. Stepping back into the shop I told Baily to get a carrier bag and full it up with noodles and what ever she can find for food.

I went to Pete and pestered him in the leg “Rise and shine, we need to get moving.”

He was up so fast out of his sleep that I think he was sleep taking in his actions.

“Where are they? I don’t see any of them are we under attack?”

I reached for his shoulder and stilled him bearing a smile on my face “No, buddy we just have to get out of the city before they return.”

His gaze immediately dropped down. “Sorry about the whole face and lip man.” Still holding on to his shoulders I pressed my fingers hard into them and he looked up.

“Peter its cool I get it, you were mad and angry and relived just hit something ells next time OK?”

He nodded and I let go.

“What are you all dong?” the scratchy roughness of his voice reminded me of Thor for a slight second.

I turned to him, “We are getting out of here before they wake up its saver on the farm lands we have a car and—”

“No fucking way Kenneth when we move and if we move, it will be at night and when I say so!”

Pete pushed past me than and stride up to Randy and I mean like stride with pride but I think it was more anger then anything else. He stopped and looked up at the big man his lips drew thin and then,

“Kenneth is plan guy,” he poked Randy in the chest hard with his index finger.

“I am action Guy.” he poked him again.

“That’s how we roll,” another poke.

“That’s how we survive.” the last poke. Pete’s hand and body was shaking.

Randy stood dead still almost like a small kid getting scowled by his mother, he looked to me for explanation.

“What ever Pete said.”

Man talk about a mouse standing up to a lion. Those two are gone be fire works to watch going of at each other.

So I walked up to Randy and pulled him on the arm, “Come with me big guy.”

“Now listen,” I said and he breath down at me, the man really needed a bath. “We need supplies ok, we need food and cloths for the winter, this shop is a death trap theirs nothing for us to use to barricade it against them and theirs no time for us to go snooping around looking for a safe haven.” He tried to interject but I held up my hand “Don’t even mention the bar because I don’t want to take little Emma there, if there’s something in there you want to retrieve, fine, we can come back for it. The farm fields are safe and empty,” I paused for a minuet “I’m asking you to trust me Randy, pleas.” Standing there explaining it to him was just wasting time it be easier if he just saw it for him self.

He looked away his teeth seemed to clinch— God dammit the man was almost like Thor.

“Fine for now but one fuck up kid, and I’m taking over.” H stopped of mumbling something about allowing children to decide for him. I didn’t pay it much attention. Once we were ready, sunlight had begun to show and I knew our time was slipping fast.

“Randy I need you to lead us on the quickest route to Thor’s work from there we will run for the car for now though lets reserve energy but keep a steady fast-moving past OK.”

“This way then.”

We followed him as the dark of the night quickly retracted for the rise of the sun. He couldn’t have known and maybe I should have put the pieces together and figured it out from all the information I’ve learned, since I discovered they were attracted to heat. We moved up two streets turned a couple of corners and be fore we know it we walked our self into the nest. The smell should have warned us but no here we where facing them again. All of them.

Huddled to gather, swaying from side to side, honest, ever been to a circuit party? Every one drain from their energy. The drug settling in, the alcohol taking effect looking like Zombies just standing in one spot not really dancing to the sound of the music but your dancing. Circuit party Zombies or zombie circuit part? You get the idea, just this one was very different form an actual circuit part. The first one groaned and pushed slowly forward, followed by the second then more, like a heard of sheep they fell into the same past of walking and swaying to wards us. Why didn’t we move? Because I think the horror of our situation stuck us to the ground. My mind was screaming at me move, move but my feet didn’t want to listen. It came then unsuspectingly as it creep up on to us the light grew brighter and in seconds the sun shone directly on the era we fond our self’s in.

We still didn’t move because of what happened then in front of us. Slowly there jerking motions speed up and stopped, it was like they took on a howl new state of awareness. Think of it as booting your computer slowly it goes on then after you’re logged in, its starts to run its back ground programs. Once those are up and running your ready to go. It was like that though some took longer to reboot they still rebooted. The groans grew to gargles the dragging steps turned to steps then pasting then roars and then … they ran? No though they did run but we paid no attention because little Emma screamed. And it wasn’t scream from fright or terror it was a scream from pain. Baily screamed then from terror and as I turned my head and I saw it tore flesh out of little Emma’s arm. I didn’t know what to do at that point. I just closed my eyes and shouted.

“Let here go and run!”

OK, hang on now remember my whole explanation after I saw plumber-guy bite cop girl? What would you have me do? Save her and keep her as one of those things? I wished that it was me that was bitten into and also thankful that it was not.

A gun shot went of and the one that had bitten Emma fell to the ground. I moved at that moment if they, the rest of the group wanted to stick around and be eaten while trying some how to help Emma so be it. But strangely they followed. As we ran my own words came back to hunt me.

Switching of your humanity is a lot harder than what it sounds. One had to be broken before that can happen. Your hope striped away and part of your mind, your soul tormented in imaginable ways. Fuck what they say of hell burning Emma’s screams was enough torture, it scared me so deep that I felt it with each scream she made. Each time one of those things bit in to her, tore bone and muscle or tore a limp from her, it tore in to my soul. It would haunt me everyday till I die. Now when her screams stopped I fully understood what burden Randy carried. I, Pete, Claire and Baily could understand it. Because in my eyes it was murder even though I told them to leave her and run it was still murder.

We ran and I could hear the rest of the group breathing hard be hind me. The street stated looking familiar, we passed the building again that Thor’s offices where in, but I barely registered it. Though I did register that it was colder here. My running slowed down and I stopped and turned around seeing none of those things was following us.

“FUCK!” Claire screamed trough tears and I cringed at her cry. Because I had the same words ready to go from my own lips.

Randy was out of breath arching with his hands on his knees desperately to pull in air. Pete was holding his hands to his head cussing and muttering through tears to himself. Baily was silent, I think she took it the hardest since she was holding Emma. But none of us could blame her, it was all of us. All of us was guilty, all of us played a part in her death, we should have been more aware.

Something moved and caught my eye. A little boy moving to wards me, then others started to appear advancing slowly to wards us. A woman out of no where screamed and it draw the others attention to the things slowly approaching us. It wasn’t many of the, maybe six including the little boy. The woman came out of a building shouting.

“Hey, Hey, hello I’m alive please help me.” She had blood on her blouse and was missing a shoe, I caught myself thinking what the fuck, loose the fucking shoe. She ran past two of those things and –dam sorry. one jumped her and bit into her shoulder, blood pooled out as she screamed. I slumped and crashed to my knees for some reason as I watched it happen, as all five of us watched another human being killed.

And right there in the middle of that street it came to me it all came to me. I crying in the middle of this chaos where the woman was being torn limed from limb (and funny she almost looked like Emma, ironic wouldn’t it be if this woman was Emma’s mother?), the little boy was still advancing to wards me with his stomach and intestines hanging out, half of his calve was missing. I heard Pete’s voice scream my name but couldn’t responded.

You see at that realization, I stopped. I stopped being Kenneth, bad ass-oh-its-a-zombie-apocalypse-so-cool, Steel. I stopped being that guy and crumbled in to a ball and shivered.

It was though, sort lived as something tore through out me. It came from the deepest and darkest shadows of my soul and it was cold. It came and thank God/Buda/Mary/ or who ever, it did. For I would not be here if it didn’t.

I snapped up, literally snapped up my head like an animal and I saw the new world through very different cold and dark eyes. I became a monster, most likely worse than those things around us, why worse. Why do I say that because I had a conscience and I perfectly clear knew what I was doing?

The little boy still approached me and I pushed my legs to stand turned and in the same instants just dabbed the broken metal pipe in to his skull. I didn’t fringe or close my eyes there was no remorse, no last thought as I ripped it from his skull there was only emptiness in side me. They where still biting in to the woman.

“He—lpe” she still tried to say and then went silent when I brought the metal pace through the soft part of her chin and straight up in to her brain .

”Kenneth! Kenneth! What the fuck! What are you doing?” Baily screams hysterical, tears running down her face when I turned to her. The shock and horror in her eyes didn’t even fade me even though it was more bone chilling then the eyes she use to look at those things.

“I’m surviving!” I snap and then just walked past her.

Baily’s sobs followed be hind me and I heard Claire whispering to her. Pete’s own face was pale and I knew he was as freaked out as all the other where the way his Adams apple swallowed. One of the things came running around a corner arms swing willed at it sides, fresh blood dripping, Randy aimed the gun but I had already brought up the pipe and when it speed to wards me in one clean strike I impaled it into its cranium so fast and hard that blood oozed out.

“Kenneth?” the soft voice of Randy came from behind me.

I turned, my voice equal to the cold and emptiness in my heart.

“This is it, this is life now get it in your fucking heads!”

“You kill or you get killed got it!” I could feel the plus of my heart and adrenalin pumping while the vein pulsate on the right side of my head and I asked you this now would it be inhuman to say that I felt alive inside yet dead?

I started pasting past them two gunshots went of and then the rest of the groups was running be hind me I saw the car the doors still opened as we left it though the boot was open and some of our supply’s where scatter across the road I dint care I wasn’t angry that some other survivor had rummage through it. Pete ran past me and got in the driver side but I snapped at him.

“Let Randy drive!”

He didn’t hesitate to the sound of my tone he just scooted over to the passenger side as I got in to the back Claire and Baily along with me I sat in the middle with Claire to my left and Baily to my right Randy got in and stated the car he let out a heavy breath

“Where to plan man?”

“I don’t know you diced” I closed my eyes at that point and fold over bring my head between my legs and I cried silently but it felt like the hardest cry I’ve ever cried in my entire life.