FEATURED ARTICLES ABOUT DUDE RANCH - PAGE 2

His name was Bam Bam, but to his close friends, he was simply Bam. The wiry skateboarder with closely cropped hair spewed words like "gnarly" while he gobbled handfuls of microwave popcorn. Bam Bam, whose real name is a mystery, was the teenage drummer for J.F.A. (Jodie Foster's Army), a hard-core punk rock band from Phoenix known for its own line of Hobie skateboards and for "Cokes and Snickers," a suburban ode to junk food. The year: 1984. The event: My first brush with a dude.

Seth Rogen the playboy? That's right. The "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" star is indeed on the April cover of Playboy, which hits stands Friday. And he's only the ninth guy ever to frontline the nudie mag that we, of course, read only for the articles. Not even Hugh Hefner has done it. So what does it take to land Page 1? An analysis of the other dudes in the cover boy club indicates you have to be really, really manly -- or really, really funny. Burt Reynolds, October 1979 Claim to fame: The 'stache Donald Trump, March 1990 Claim to fame: You're fired!

Winters around Chicago are far from most anglers' dreams. They are cold, and they are windy. Only a die-hard fisherman would brave the elements for the thrill of a catch. Des Plaines is an even farther cry from a fisherman's fantasies. The busy northwest suburb is better stocked with cars, housing and industry than trout and walleye. But there is a place that battles both Midwest winters and suburban living to bring a little bit of the great outdoors to the northwest suburbs.

Hey, dude, there's a new ranch open for you northwest of Denver. The Colorado, as it's called, used to be the private retreat of oil tycoon John King, but he sold it, and it opened this fall as just an ordinary resort. Not exactly ordinary. It's set on 1,400 acres, and they lie next to a million acres of Arapaho National Forest, so it's apt to be pretty peaceful. The resort has activities through the four seasons for every age group: tennis, skiing (downhill and cross-country)

The posters in the travel agency look great: $349 for a sunny weekend in Cancun, $250 for a whirlwind trip to San Francisco, $599 for a romantic rendezvous in Paris. But the price on the poster is just the beginning. Food, entertainment, tips and unplanned expenses can turn your economical getaway into a trip to the poorhouse. If that's happened to you, maybe it's time to strap on your spurs and grab your 10-gallon hat and head for a vacation where the advertised cost will be pretty close to the final one: a dude ranch.

Whether or not the fish in his stocked ponds feel pain when they are caught is debatable, but John Reding, owner of the Fisherman's Dude Ranch in Des Plaines, was smarting a little after last weekend's protest by six women from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. It seems that PETA, the national animal activists group that recently subjected us to nude pictures of Patti Davis, Ronald and Nancy Reagan's daughter, in its anti-fur ads, has lately decided that fishing is cruel, according to Debbie Leahy of Warrenville.

Leading a troop of trail riders up the mountain where Jesus preached to the multitudes, Yehuda Avni can't get the thought of a good Chicago hot dog out of his mind. Maybe it has to do with riding over hallowed ground, near the Sea of Galilee where the fisherman Peter and other disciples were recruited and the miracle of the fishes and loaves was performed. The experience dredges up images of other sanctified spots, even some not found in your standard tourist guides. "I remember Fluky's Hot Dogs used to be, maybe, 3300 west on Roosevelt Road," said Avni, 72. "I can still see the old man cradling half a dozen dogs or Polish sausages up his arm and schmeering them with relish and onions.

Western dude ranches are having a rough ride this summer, as cautious consumers rein in spending on some upscale vacations. For the first time in at least five years, these quintessentially Western getaways--where tourists can round up cattle, ride horseback along mountain trails or pluck trout from fast-running streams--aren't booked solid during the peak summer season. Business is down 10 to 15 percent, largely because of the soft economy, ranch owners say. Some are offering discounts of as much as 25 percent off their regular prices to entice tourists to hop a plane or a train and head out West.

Tucson has a variety of lodging accommodations--from dude ranches to posh resorts and just about everything in between. Some of the larger resorts offer golf and tennis packages and spa facilities. One of the country's premier fitness/health spas--Canyon Ranch--also is in Tucson. Some of the top resorts include (unless otherwise noted, all rates are daily; rates generally are reduced during summer months): Loews Ventana Canyon Resort, 7000 N. Resort Dr., Tucson, Ariz. 85715, 800-424-2929.