books

screenplays

Exile (full-length drama) Finalist, WriteMovies; Quarterfinalist, Fade-In.
LJ lives in a U . S. of A., with a new Three Strikes Law: first crime, rehab; second crime, prison; third crime, you’re simply kicked out – permanently exiled to a designated remote area, to fend for yourself without the benefits of society. At least he used to live in that new U. S. of A. He’s just committed his third crime.

What Happened to Tom (full-length drama) Semifinalist, Moondance.
This guy wakes up to find his body’s been hijacked and turned into a human kidney dialysis machine – for nine months.

Aiding the Enemy (short drama 15min)
When Private Ann Jones faces execution for “aiding the enemy,” she points to American weapons manufacturers who sell to whatever country is in the market.

Bang Bang (short drama 30min) Finalist, Gimme Credit; Quarter-finalist, American Gem.
When a young boy playing “Cops and Robbers” jumps out at a man passing by, the man shoots him, thinking the boy’s toy gun is real. Who’s to blame?

Foreseeable (short drama 30min)
An awful choice in a time of war. Whose choice was it really?

Two Women, Road Trip, Extraterrestrial (full-length comedy)
When an independent activist and her frustrated office temp buddy embark on a quest for a chocolate bar, they pick up a hitchhiking extraterrestrial who’s stopped on Earth to ask for directions. They help her get the information she needs – and discover it’s easier to get a gun in this country than a little scientific knowledge – and decide to go with her. To become chocolate bartenders.

Boston Legal: Bang Bang (spec script) Semifinalist,Scriptapalooza.

Balls (short mockumentary 10min)
A hilarious mockumentary about men playing with balls

Here Comes the Bride (5min)
You’ll never get married again.

Let Me Entertain You (5min)
Is it a slippery slope from screen idol to snuff film?

Take Care of Your Mom While I’m Gone (3-5min)
She’s an adult. She needs a ten-year-old to take care of her?

My Life in Danger (short drama 3-5min)
When does attempted rape warrant self-defence of deadly force?

Size Matters (3-5min)
What if women were the taller sex? Ask any short man.

I am Eve (10min)
An examination exposing the irrationality and injustice of Eve’s role in Judaeo-Christianity.

If Then (5-10 min)
The end of our lives as we know them. Can’t say we didn’t see it coming.

Crime of Passion (short drama 3-5min)
The perfect solution to crimes of “passion”

Minding Our Own Business (20 min)
A collection of skits (including “The Price is Not Quite Right,” “Singin’ in the (Acid) Rain,” “Adverse Reactions,” “The Band-Aid Solution,” and “See Jane. See Dick.”) with a not-so-subtle environmental message

The Missing Link (short comedy 3-5min)
Two women and an alien enter a bar…

Since men commit 90% of the crime, they should pay 90% of the tax that supports the judicial system. Prisons are expensive to build and maintain. As are prisoners – they don’t work while they’re in prison, so we have to support them. Then there’s the expense of the police forces and courts that get them there. We already require that they pay the bulk of car insurance premiums because they’re the worse drivers. So what’s stopping us from going further, making the system even more fair?

And since a large percentage of their crime is violent, it follows that men are responsible for far more ER visits than women (assuming no gender differences with regard to illness and other injury) (actually, since men take more risks than women, there probably is a gender difference with regard to injury) (don’t forget the driving thing), so men should pay more of the tax that supports the healthcare system.

Oh and the military. Men are the ones who thrive on aggression, they get off on the excitement of fighting. They want to join the military. They want to go to war. So let them pay for it. Let them pay the $530 billion required by the military budget.

Then there’s all the environmental stuff. All those beer cans, empty cigarette packs, fast food cartons – most of the litter along the highways was put there by men. As they continue to drive their big gas-guzzlers with the high emissions. And the companies that dump toxic waste, and clear cut forests, and dam river systems? All run by men.

We could call it the Gender Responsibility Tax – a $5,000 surtax could be levied on each and every male. Payable annually, from birth to death. By the parents, of course, until the boy reached manhood.

5 Responses to “Making Taxes Gender-Fair”

“Boys” is a bit large. I know of a subgroup that is even better suited to pay for all the crime related spendings? Black boys! Let’s have a blacktax to pay for all the prisons we’ll have to build for them sometime.