Awesome ’70s B-Movie Posters

Like lots of other film fanatics, I’m of the belief that the 1970s was the best decade for movies. Classics like The Godfather I and II, Chinatown, Apocalypse Now, Jaws and All the President’s Men are staples on most all-time lists. As great as those and countless other films of the era are, they aren’t the real reason why the ’70s ruled.

The true test of a decade’s greatness should be measured by the strength of its bad films. And by bad, I mean B-movies, exploitation flicks and what is generally referred to as “grindhouse” cinema. The ’70s were rife with these types of titles, produced on shoe-string budgets and containing copious amounts of violence, gore, sex, nudity, awful acting, choppy editing and retread plots. In others words, they kicked ass. To such a degree that even their posters stood out. As evidenced by these awesome ’70s B-movie posters.

The Single Girls – 1974

I want to live inside this poster. A trio of lovely ladies, cleavage, Daisy Duke shorts, a walk on the beach, sexual assault and a lighthouse to boot. Plus, this oh-so clever tagline: "Half clad, all bad!" It's like stepping into my dream vacation.

Cleopatra Jones – 1973

Blacksploitation movies rarely disappoint in the poster department.I'm afraid to write anything negative lest Ms. Jones reach through my laptop screen and ring my scrawny neck until it snaps. Look at her perched atop that sweet Corvette Stingray. The afro by itself could kill you in six seconds.

Blood Freak – 1972

If you've never seen this piece of wondrous cinema, do so post-haste. It's a heapin' helpin' bowl full of win. No, your eyes aren't deceiving you, it's a man-sized turkey preparing to tear into that poor girl's neck. Only the blood of drug addicts can satisfy its thirst. Priceless.

Let's bathe in the awesomeness of this poster, shall we. Go ahead, drink it all in. The double entendres alone are enough to get the juices flowing. Funny, I don't remember the prudes at my high school dressing like these gals. Then again, there were a lot of fatties in my class, so I'll count myself lucky.

TNT Jackson – 1975

A fur coat and a sawed-off shotgun? This is one explosive honey. Like the description says, "She's a one mama massacre squad!" What's up with the dead dude on the Caddy? And what the hell is an Ebony Fist Award? Sounds made up, but I'm not saying anything to her.

Beneath the Valley… Ultra-Vixens – 1979

Good ol' Russ Meyer. To say he had a fetish for large-breasted women would be an understatement. The guy was obsessed with massive mammories, bodacious ta-tas fabulous feeders, etc., etc. But you don't need me to tell you that. Just look at the poster.

The Swarm – 1978

Geesh, the action in the poster blows away what you get in the actual movie. By a wide margin. Burning skyscraper, helicopter, men dressed in strange suits, cast of thousands, and that big, beautiful cloud of killer Mexican bees. The heights of excellence reached in this poster cannot be measured.

Big Doll House – 1971

Chicks in cage, check. Chicks firing machine guns, check. Chick warden with whip, check. Sexual innuendo, check. Whew, I need a cold shower. If it were socially acceptable to make love to a poster, I would bang this one's brains out. Oh how I miss the '70s.

The Hot Box – 1972

Mere words fail to do this work of art justice. It's a masterpiece of misogynistic mayhem. I can't take my eyes off it. I loathe the institution of marriage, but I would marry this poster in front of millions then honeymoon with it in the tropical jungles of Belize. I'm not kidding.