Tag: Chael Sonnen

Chael Sonnen‘s headlining appearance at Metamoris 4 against Andre Galvao on Saturday ended pretty much how we expected: with Sonnen tapping to a far, far superior grappler.

From the opening seconds of the match — when Sonnen took Galvao to the mat with a virtually undefended single-leg takedown — Sonnen’s strategy was to remain in top position and defend whatever Galvao was throwing at him from below. Outside of a cut that Sonnen sustained near his right eye, possibly due to an early clash of heads, the American Gangster did well to keep himself out of danger for the first ten minutes of the match.

Eventually, Galvao gets tired of playing around, and sweeps his way onto Sonnen’s back (see: 13:38-14:44 in the video above). From there, Galvao is relentless in his attack on Sonnen’s neck, looking to sink a rear-naked choke despite Sonnen’s game defenses. But it’s only a matter of time before Galvao advances to checkmate, and Sonnen taps at the video’s 17:28 mark, while a pleased Anderson Silva celebrates in the crowd. Watch until the end to hear Sonnen cut the obligatory pro-wrestling style promo before exiting the building.

After the jump: The Metamoris heavyweight championship bout between Josh Barnett and Dean Lister, which Barnett won via scarf-hold choke with just ten seconds left in the match.

It should be pointed out that the NSAC’s ability to fine Sonnen for competing in a grappling competition in California is still a major point of contention. Earlier this month, Sonnen’s lawyer Ross Goodman sent NSAC chairman Francisco Aguilar a letter explaining why a jiu-jitsu competition doesn’t fall under the commission’s jurisdiction:

“The term ‘unarmed combat’ is defined in NRS 467.0107 as ‘boxing or any form of competition in which a blow is usually struck which may reasonably be expected to inflict injury. There is no dispute that the NSAC has no jurisdiction or authority to regulate, license or sanction jiu-jitsu and other forms of grappling. Moreover, jiu-jitsu does not fall within the Nevada definition of unarmed combat because it does not involve “blows” of any kind. Likewise, it would be a violation of due process to expand the interpretation of ‘fighting’ broader than the statutory definition of unarmed combat…

Last month, the Nevada State Athletic Commission smacked Chael Sonnen with a two-year suspension after he tested positive for a pharmacy’s worth of unapprovedsubstances, following two separate random drug tests back in May. As Sonnen and PED-apologist Ralek Gracie see it, that suspension shouldn’t stop the American Gangster from headlining a submission-grappling event in California this weekend. But according to the NSAC, it should stop him from competing, and they’re pretty upset about it.

Bleacher Report’s Jeremy Botter broke the news that the NSAC is attempting to prevent Sonnen from competing at Metamoris 4, scheduled for this Saturday, August 9th, in Los Angeles. As Botter wrote:

“Multiple sources confirm NAC has threatened to fine Sonnen $250,000 per failed drug test violation if he competes at Metamoris. Sonnen has hired Vegas lawyer Ross Goodman to represent him in the case…Sonnen camp’s contention is that grappling is not fighting and suspension shouldn’t cover it.”

“[W]e don’t currently test for PED’s and we are not an MMA organization. Metamoris is a grappling event with different rules and we require our own unique set of regulations for all aspects of participation.

“We are concerned about the issue of PED’s overall but we have a lot of research and work to do before accurately defining our stance. Due to the instability and controversy surrounding the regulation of PED’s we are taking our time to discover the best approach and fit for our organization.

“Lastly, for the people who understand the level of opposition Chael is facing at Metamoris 4, his use of any supplement or drug is not likely to provide any advantage whatsoever.”

Yes, I’m sure Metamoris has its best scientists working around-the-clock to determine whether steroids give an athlete a competitive advantage or not. (Spoiler alert: They do, and we figured that out decades ago.) Plus, for anybody who thinks that Sonnen’s PED-use shouldn’t matter in this case because he’s already at an enormous talent-disadvantage against Andre Galvao, allow me to blow your minds: What if Galvao is using PEDs too? Remember, Metamoris isn’t testing any of its fighters, so there’s nothing preventing the entire lineup from juicing.

Honestly, Ralek Gracie should just stop talking about this subject, because it’s only going to draw negative attention to his operation. Instead, he went on Inside MMA to further explain why steroid use isn’t such a big deal in jiu-jitsu competition. I mean, what are steroids, anyway? Does anybody really know? Here’s what he told Kenny and Bas:

(“I’d like to present the commission with exhibit A, and remind them that they are standing in the presence of greatness.” Photo via Getty.)

At this point, I’m convinced that Chael Sonnen could literally crawl through a river of shit and come out clean on the other side. His ability to put on a fancy suit and speak in slightly nuanced platitudes without the necessity of a translator has apparently cast a spell over MMA fans, fighters, promoters, and commissioners, from which they will never wake up.

“You don’t get to stop one prohibited drug and start using five prohibited drugs,” said the Assistant AG of the Nevada State Athletic Commission, “You’ve gotten to be kidding me that you’re sticking a needle in you with EPO and HGH and didn’t know it was prohibited.”

Surely, a swift punishment was just moments away.

LOL NOPE. Despite facing a potential lifetime ban from MMA and fines totaling upwards of $250,000, the NSAC opted to slap Sonnen with a (completely meaningless now that he’s retired) two year suspension and a fine totaling 0.00 dollars. Then they offered him a f*cking job. Ahh, sweet justice!

UFC on FOX analysts Kenny Florian, Daniel Cormier and host Karyn Bryant welcome former UFC welterweight contender Chris Lytle to the analyst desk as he makes his debut at the UFC FIGHT NIGHT WEIGH-IN on Tuesday, July 15 and works the PREFIGHT and POSTFIGHT coverage on FOX Sports 1 as well. Jon Anik and Brian Stann call the fights on FOX Sports 1 live from the Revel Casino Hotel in Atlantic City, while Victor Dávila and Fabricio Werdum call the action for FOX Deportes.

Schadenfreude is the German word for taking pleasure from the misfortune of others, and aside from scheisseporn it’s pretty much the best word to come out of Germany untranslated. The German fußball team gave us some textbook definition schadenfreude action when they crushed Brazil 7-1 in the World Cup earlier this week, and everyone on the internet delighted in watching the host nation weep like little bitches during the meltdown.

Evil pleasure aside, there’s something fascinating about seeing another human wallowing in sadness. And outside of a choking team’s arena or third world country, I’d argue there’s no better place to stare sadness in the face than at a UFC post-fight press conference.

While most of the defeated fighters on a card get to skip the conference and ruminate on their losses in private, the loser of the main event is expected to show up and answer sharp questions from our crack MMA media like “How do you feel right now?” and “What is next now that you’ve failed?”

The look on their faces as they struggle to answer will hit you right in the feels. Or trigger dat schadenfreude if you’re a dick. Since I am definitely a dick, allow me to be your sadness sommelier on this tour through the saddest sadfaces at UFC post-fight press conferences…

Following Sonnen’s positive test, the Nevada State Athletic Commission released an amended complaint against the former UFC fighter, which lists the potential punishments that are in store for him: a fine of up to $250,000, the suspension of his license, expenses related to the complaint, and the requirement that he provide a clean drug test upon his next licensing application, which will probably never happen because he’s retired, but still, 250 large, good lord. At least he can afford it, considering he was previously “the highest paid fighter in the business.” [citation needed, obviously]

We here at CagePotato.com aren’t the types to say “We told you so,” which is convenient, because we couldn’t even gather enough interest in BJ Penn vs. Frankie Edgar III to mock it beforehand. The fight ended predictably; Penn continued to be no match for Edgar, and “The Prodigy” hinted at yet another retirement from MMA after it was over. Given the trilogy’s one-sided nature and predictable ending, we’re tempted to call it the most pointless trilogy in our sport’s history. But doing so would do the following trilogies a grave injustice:

Bryan Robinson vs. Andrew Reinard

A quick glance at the record of every ironman in MMA will reveal multiple victories over fighters who can best be described as “victims” and “warm bodies.” Reinard is Exhibit A: You can watch his entire three-fight career in only forty-eight seconds.
[Author Note: Robinson vs. Reinard is a stand-in for every pointless trilogy that other MMA ironmen have been involved in. Coincidentally, Robinson himself accounts for seven (?!?) of Travis Fulton's career victories.]

Four chefs, three courses, only one chance to win! The challenge: Create an unforgettable meal from the mystery items hidden in these baskets before time. runs. out. Our distinguished panel of chefs will critique their work, and one by one, they must face the dreaded chopping block. Who will win the $10,000 prize, and who will be…Chopped?

Four MMA fighters-turned chefs think they have what it takes to win. Lets meet them. First up, Tito Ortiz…

[*Cue a montage of Ortiz hitting truck tires with a sledgehammer, pointing to business documents that clearly have nothing written on them*]

Tito Ortiz: “My name’s Ito Tortiz. I mean, Tito Ortiz. For years, people have been doubting my ability to compete at the highest level of reality show cooking competitions. But I’m here to prove them all wrong today and show that ‘The People’s Champ’, like no other, cooks like no other.”

Tim Sylvia: (*while eating jelly doughnut*) “I’m a real outside the box thinker when it comes to preparing meals. Just the other day, I filled an old oil barrel with ham hocks and melted cheese. It was a fantastic mid-afternoon snack.”