I work with job seekers who are “stuckees” My definition of a “stuckee” is a person who does not take action on their own behalf, especially in looking for a job.

The first or second job interview rejection shuts them down. Poor self-esteem is one of the causes of giving up.

Job seeking is a game where new or returning job seekers don’t know the rules. The rules they do know are answering ads, sending out resumes, waiting for the phone toring, etc. “Stuck” becomes comfortable and safe.

One of the cures for a “stuckee” is to have a group of people around them that are accepting of them, no matter what. Supportive people provide hope, support andcomfort.

And, how does a “stuckee” keep going in the face of many rejections? One way to understand the temporary setbacks and not staying stuck is to know that situations change. Hope, people and support come together to help the job seeker towards a fulfilling job search.

Finally, risking is something that the “stuckee” job seeker doesn’t seem to connect with in the job search. Taking a risk in approaching a potential employer can help free the “stuckee” whether the outcome is a job offer or not. The cycle of stuckness can suddenly come to a halt! And, getting a good career coach or counselor to help, can make a big difference.

I believe anyone reading this article knows or has known about job martyrs. Maybe you are one. My definition of a martyr is one who has a calling to become self sacrificial and is willing to sacrifice themselves to a purpose that is larger than themselves and not one that is making happiness come easily.

Being a job martyr is common. Many people keep a job that is either dreadful, boring or harmful to one’s inner being. (I’ve been there).

Here are my reasons people use for staying with a bad job:

1. Fear of making a change.2. Economic hardship, either real or imagined.3. Avoiding risks.4. Inner conflict about self worth.5. Lack of other goals.6. Self punishment as a personal choice in life.7. Seeing the glass as “half empty”.8. Not enough emotional support.9. Fear of not “making it”, whatever that means.10. Parent’s or others have said to grin & bear it.

I don’t think more definitions are needed for this list.

If you find yourself using one of these reasons or all of them, it’s time to take stock and understand why your are stuck. Venturing out of a false comfort zone may be needed to help you find a job you need and want. It might be the right time to find a career coach or counselor coach if “stuckness” becomes a way of life!

Not truly. Most of us want to be live happy lives and be successes in our work, but few of us take the time to define what success is, to us personally. And if we haven't defined what we want, how can we ever get it?

Now's the time to take pen or keyboard in hand and write out exactly what success means to you. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Success is doing your job well. Really well. Being good at something is a true and deep pleasure.

2. Success is working in a field you feel good about. When you go to a party and someone asks, So what do you do? pay attention to how you react. Are you quick to respond, happy to share? Or do you hesitate, or become vague, or change the subject?

3. Success is earning the amount of money that makes you happy. No less. And, weirdly, no more. Anything above enough to live on, plus some for playing and some for saving, quickly just becomes all about more stuff. It's a simple fact that more stuff does not make you happy.

5. Success is making a difference. Everyone wants to "leave a legacy." Some jobs result in a clear product you can point to and say, This is what I did. A lot do not. The key is to do whatever you do well and with love. Add to the sum total of human happiness in the world and you will be leaving a valuable legacy.

6. Success is when you can give from your abundance. You have so much time, money, energy, and love that you are able to give some away! Cool.

As you work to be successful you'll find that success is a process, not a fixed point. It's sort of a moving target. You never "get there." So it's hugely important that you enjoy the process, that it makes you happy.

Which leads to this important final point: A lot of people say that if you are successful you will be happy. But it's the other way around. If you are happy, you will be successful.

For those of you looking for new sales help in the New Year, let me offer you a tune-up for the way you hire salespeople.

Some of you have long, involved processes that include psych tests (better hope they're certified), questions about whether they were involved in sports in high school (yes, this question is still around), and the highly dubious, "Show me your W-2's" method that is supposed to show whether past performance is predictive of future success.

Forget all of that. And forget your "gut instinct," too. Salespeople are good at selling themselves, so anyone who has ever held a sales position and had any success should be able to convince you they know what they're doing. Most account managers can worm their way into a position by repeating this mantra, "I love the phone. All business starts with the phone, and if I just continue to make my calls, I'll be successful."

Of course, once they are hired, there always seems to be something that keeps them off the phone (I'm no exception, and have been guilty of it in the past, but you might consider adding this to your employment process in the hire of your next salesperson.

Ask them to write down a schedule of a normal day, their first week, the first 30 days, and the first 90 days.

Any experienced employee should know how to hit the ground running. A reliable indicator of what the employee has planned, and a good test question to see if they are detail oriented and looking forward to the job, is to ask them what they plan to do in the first 90 days.

This is just the first step. If they do a good job, you have a roadmap they have committed to if you hire them. If they give you incomplete information, you can work with them to create a timetable that looks right, practicing working together prior to actually hiring them.

In their head, you want to create the image of them working alongside you. You want to create the visual image of what it's like to work with you as a manager. If it's a bad fit, the two of you realize it quickly. And most important, it takes the focus off of the hiring process, where everyone wants to be liked, and puts it on the working process, where everybody makes money.

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About & Connect

Welcome to the Minnesota Headhunter Blog. My name is Paul DeBettignies (pronounced De-Bett-ingz). I started writing in 2005 to share thoughts and ideas I had as an IT recruiter.

Since then I expanded this site to include MN IT and Recruiter Jobs, links to Minnesota business news and promote the local tech community.

I am the Principal of Minnesota Headhunter, LLC. I am an Evangelist and Advisor who builds teams with startups and tech companies, creates recruiting strategies for Fortune 500 clients and a frequent local and national speaker and article contributor on recruiter, HR, career, networking and social media topics.