A Parenting & Lifestyle Blog From A First Time Mum

Month: May 2017

Ok, so technically he wasn’t two months today (this post is now nine days late) but with round the clock feeds and the first lot of immunisations- with post jab fever- under our belts, along with sensory classes and lunch dates with friends I haven’t seen since I became a Mama, I’ve barely had time to catch my breath let alone write a post!

But as I sit here on the first feed of the night/morning, I’m beginning to realise I just need to make time if I can’t find it. Otherwise baby journals will go unfinished, milestone cards unfilled and the camera will be left on the shelf, when I should have grabbed it sooner to capture that unmissable moment.

It feels as if Little Ored’s development has suddenly ramped up a gear and now he’s changing by the day as opposed to weeks. This week alone, he has both sucked his thumb and laughed for the very first time, the latter filling me with such joy that I haven’t stopped smiling since.

At two months Little Ored…

Smiles ALL of the time, yet despite this it’s proving impossible to take a photo as he’s easily distracted by my phone!

Is a serious chatterbox- gurgling away non-stop during a nappy change or playtime, as if deep in conversation.

Has discovered his hands, which he either balls into a fist and either stares at or sucks at (usually until he gags)

Is bewitched by his surroundings- whether it’s the lampshade in the living room, prints in his nursery or the photo frames on the kitchen wall, he can’t stop gazing at the world around him.

Has grown SO much that he’s practically on his way into 3-6 clothing already. More importantly (and worryingly) he’s almost the size of his sleep box, which is leaving Ored and I in a bit of a dilemma as to what we do going forward!

Over the past couple of weeks it has slowly become quite obvious that there are very few photos of myself with Baby Ored. Part of this is down to Ored, because where I haven’t stopped taking photographs, he has barely started. In fact when we first got together Ored found it both amusing and somewhat infuriating that I take photos of everything (especially food). He’s much more of a live-in-the-moment kinda guy whereas I’m a capture-the-moment kinda girl.

But that aside, and as embarrassed as I am to admit, the other reason is that I’ve simply shied away from the camera. Why? Because quite frankly, I’m still not used to seeing this new, much changed, version of myself. Despite a sneaky feeling that I would become that unfortunate soul who forgoes the pregnancy glow in favour of swollen ankles, chubby cheeks and a generally more round appearance (all of which came true), pregnancy went on to change my body in ways I could never have fully anticipated.

Sure I knew that I was destined to suffer from stretch marks, but did I think they’d snake their way from my bikini line to my belly button, akin to tiger markings? Or that they’d place themselves sparsely, in small, reddish indents, on my hips? Or that they’d reach as far as my now considerably larger breasts, as if to say “there’s no such thing as a free lunch!”

Did I picture that my legs would succumb to both varicose and thread veins? Or- going back to the boobs- that my once small and perky chest would now be bigger and as a result, an unwilling slave to gravity?

Before having a child of my own I naively assumed that post-pregnancy body woes were too trivial to be given the time of day. But having walked in those shoes flats (because right now, I can’t ever imagine wearing heels again) I now know that it runs deeper than that. It is the moment where we as women realise “This is me now.”

It goes without saying that I, like other new Mamas, am beyond grateful to have been able to carry and give birth to a healthy, happy baby. Throughout my pregnancy I was left astounded at my body’s ability to adapt, grow and nurture life with an unwavering strength. But there is still a sadness in knowing that the body that accompanied me on my journey from teenager to woman, is now gone forever.

As the days roll by and I look at this beautiful, beyond perfect boy that we have created, I am- slowly, but surely- learning how to say goodbye to my old self whilst warmly welcoming the new me. It may take a little while but in the meantime I’m determined to take as many photos with Little Ored as possible, because I’d hate to miss out on capturing those moments just because there’s a little more handle to love!