Samstag, Juni 26, 2010

The Capulethofer and the Montekugerl are two Teutonic families who are enemies because of an old dispute that even the courts couldn’t resolve. This feud affects the younger members of the families as well, natürlich! Complications arise when young Romeo ( Herr Gustav von Wangenheim ), Herr Montekugerl’s son, comes back home after some years of absence. He falls madly in love with Julia ( Frau Lotte Neumann ), Herr Capulethofer’s daughter. This makes the enmity between the families even worse and Frau Julia is forced into an engagement with an innocent and clumsy boy. Desperate and seeing no hope that their families will ever understand them, the lovers decide upon a terrible solution: they will end their lives with poison.

Probably those learned longhaired youngsters who have read this Herr Graf’s synopsis of this film named “Romeo Und Julia Im Schnee” ( Romeo And Julia In The Snow ), directed by Herr Ernst Lubitsch in the silent year of 1920, will know that it is not an original story by the German director but a free adaptation of the classic Shakespearian play “Romeo And Juliet”. Of course, Herr Shakespeare himself was not adverse to borrowing stories from others for his own purposes and Herr Lubitsch was no different, having done adaptations of “Carmen” from Herr Prosper Mérimée’s novel , the opera “Don César de Bazán” and Herr Oscar Wilde play “Lady Windermere’s Fan” and handling all of them in his own original style, achieving marvellous films full of wit, irony, irreverence and laced with the particular Germanic sense of humor and sarcastic gags.

For example, Her Lubistch introduces to the audience the origins of the enmity among Montekugerls and Capulethofers with a clever prologue wherein the Verona families in Herr Shakespeare original manuscript become genuine Teutonic families who live in a typical snowy German village; A sibylline and wonderful gag in this part of the film finds both families trying to bribe the judge with two similar big sausages. The sarcastic judge resolves the complicated issue by weighing both sausages in the scales of the symbol of justice and deciding in favour of the Capulethofers because their sausage is heavier.

The film continues along the same lines with both families caricatured in an hilarious way. Funny too is the masked ball sequence where Romeo fools both Julia’s father as well as her naive fiancée so he can be with his beloved. Then there is the climax where the distraught lovers decide to take their lives and repair to an apothecary to buy the poison (he actually just gives them a mixture of sugar and water). They find they don’t have any money but the sardonic apothecary just tells them, “Pay me some other time.”

“Romeo Und Julia Im Schnee” is another delicious Herr Lubitsch early silent film, remarkable and original ( with Herr Shakespeare’s permission ) and a good example of a drama being effectively turned into a comedy thanks to the artistry and genius of the director.

And now, if you'll allow me, I must temporarily take my leave because this German Count must court his own Teutonic Juliet.

Samstag, Juni 19, 2010

Deutschland is under the power of Rome; the heartless Empire, ever in need of new conquests, is merciless and its legions pillage and sack throughout the land with deep Gallic hatred. Hermann, son of the Cherusci prince Segimer, is a hostage at the service of Rome and has been given the name of “Armin.” Ultimately, he will lead an army of his countrymen and drive out the Roman tyrants.

“Die Hermannschlacht”, directed by Herr Leo König in the silent year of 1924, is a classical Teutonic silent film in its concepts and idiosyncrasies, It contains many of the elements that a genuine German count likes very much: exaggerated Teutonic myths and habits ( for example, how Germans invented euthanasia which, in those old says, consisted of throwing yourself down a hill when the end is near-a trifling matter when you know Walhalla awaits ), angry Gotts, epic nationalism and rude bearded Germans warriors wearing fur costumes with matching helmets with horns or wings ( fashionable ancient modes). The Romans may be the villains of the film but at the time of the film’s release, German audiences would be thinking about the French occupation of the Ruhr area.

It must be said that Herr König, in order to depict those ancient times in “Die Hermannschlacht”, made accordingly a film that, in artistic aspects, seems as primitive as the Cherusci tribes. Of course there are problems within the German tribes including traitors, collaboration with the enemy and divided families but any genuine Teutonic will find the film his cup of tea (well, the Germans prefer a jar of schnapps )as the story is about his ancestors and will enlighten those unfortunates who are not Teutonic. The actors playing those rude old Germans do so in a very histrionic manner and sometimes the film sees older than the Cherusci tribes…

“Die Hemannschlacht” was old fashioned even at the time when it was made, and today it seems deliciously kitsch but it’s a unique and genuine primitive Teutonic silent, ja wohl!.

And now, if you'll allow me, I must temporarily take my leave because this German Count must free one rich and fat heiress from her corset.

Samstag, Juni 12, 2010

Frau Helene Netzler ( Frau Asta Nielsen ) is the owner of the copper mine “Glückauf”, a mine that is nearly depleted and this threatens her financial situation. Fortunately the director of the copper mine, Herr Lindholm ( Herr Aruth Wartan ) has good news for Frau Helene: he has found a new copper vein that promises great supply. With this in mind, Frau Helene orders that all the shares of the copper mine, that for many days inflated the stock market, be bought up. At the same time, as a token of her gratitude, Frau Helene promotes Herr Lindholm to partner of the copper mine. Frau Helene’s new partner is interested in Frau Lina, Frau Helene’s cousin, a poor girl who lives at the mansion as a lady companion. To complicate matters, Frau Helene is also in love with Herr Lindholm.

Die Börsenkönigin” ( The Queen Of The Stock-Exchange ), directed by the unknown Herr Edmund Edel in the silent year of 1918, is a very suitable oeuvre for these days in which the world stock market and global financial crisis are much in the news. Speculators, brokers, greedy share-holders and other strange specimens did their work in the silent days as well, making a good living for themselves but leaving the commoners behind.

Our heroine, Frau Helene Netzler knows that in order to maintain her life of luxury she must keep the level of production of her cooper mine very high. The new vein gives her the opportunity to speculate in the stock-market and increase her wealth; that’s the way the bourgeoisie make a lot of money. Of course these games are only possible thanks to the efforts, sweat and hard work of their employees.This makes for some interesting social and historical themes in the film and they are brought out in an almost documentary way given that real copper mine workers appear as extras in some of the scenes ( it is not necessary to say that they didn’t receive extra wages for their extra work ) . These poor men and women worked hard in terrible and unsafe conditions in contrast to the luxury and comfort enjoyed by their masters who live in wonderful mansions surrounded by magnificent gardens and having at their command businessmen in tuxedos and top hats, reflecting in this way the contradictions of a Germany defeated in the Great War.

As the Teutonic saying goes, “Don’t mix pleasure with business”, and Frau Helene unwisely ignores this wisdom and shares her heart as well as her mine with Herr Lindholm. It will take a divine intervention to set things right and cause Frau Helene to recover her cold and Germanic senses ( essential for a Teutonic businesswoman).Frau Asta Nielsen plays properly her character in a film where business is business and the matters of the heart are simple accidents that can be put aside and forgotten easily if luxury and power are at stake. Of course in this modernen world the upper classes will likewise never be at risk as long is there are financial subterfuges and the working classes to foot the bills.

And now, if you'll allow me, I must temporarily take my leave because this German Count must convince his rich heiresses that Herr Graff is a good investment.

Dienstag, Juni 08, 2010

A cache of 75 long-lost silent films uncovered in the New Zealand Film Archive vault, including Herr John Ford's "Upstream" (1927) is being sent back to Amerika to be restored.

Well, it wouldn't have been necessary going to New Zealand in order to find those long lost silent films; you would have saved a lot of money if instead of traveling to those far away lands, had just paid this Herr Graf's enslaved servants the extra costs involved in a deep and thorough cleaning of the Schloss humid cellar. There lies storage piles of old nitrates since the last century and in there you can find anything that you can imagine. However, due to this Herr Graf's greed it seems that a lot of time will pass until these have surfaced from darkness...

Samstag, Juni 05, 2010

Herr Rollo Treadway ( Herr Buster Keaton ) is the quintessential Amerikan millionaire; he is an idle and helpless rich heir so consequently he has eccentric habits like taking long walks or diving, not to mention travelling in an adrift ocean liner called “The Navigator”, unexpectedly chartered only for him and for Frau Betsy ( Frau Kathryn McGuire ), Herr Rollo’s rich neighbour who our hero decides to marry . These two spoiled rich people will do in “The Navigator” what they know best; that is to say, nothing at all.

After morning exercise on the ship’s deck and some problems trying to get used to the empty ocean liner ( a very complicated matter to go through your daily routine without a valet) Herr Rollo und Frau Betsy will find their place in the ship ( exactly at the bottom of it ) and will familiarize themselves with the Navigator’s facilities, ( once they wear proper sailor-fashion tuxedos, natürlich! ) . They come to understand how to properly use kitchen gadgets so they can make breakfast and they learn how to use rare and complicated boat apparatus such as folding chairs and lifeboats. Just when our rich friends are finally enjoying their cruise, unexpectedly the Navigator runs aground on an island full of hungry cannibals and then our wealthy and helpless heroes are-typically-in trouble.

As you can see, mein liebers, certainly there is a lot of danger at the sea for our woeful millionaires but finally both of them will overcome their troubles and find safety. Their incredible adventures –including even some underwater scenes- can be found in “The Navigator· (1924) directed by Herr Buster Keaton und Herr Donald Crisp, a classic and funny silent film that can be considered as one of the most important silent films wherein a ship is the main character of the oeuvre ( Of course, we must not forget the battleship Potemkin and the passenger liner Titanic, natürlich!!...). After all, Herr Rollo und Frau Betsy had their own special revolution aboard and the Navigator finally and incredible was afloat!.

And now, if you'll allow me, I must temporarily take my leave because this German Count must sail the Teutonic seas.