New Edinburgh Cricket Club Ottawa News story

1. "Why don't you throw him a piano, see if he can play that."
2. "Those are the only balls you've touched all day." - to a batsman adjusting his box.
3. "Feel free to use the bat"
4. "You're like a donut - all edges, no middle"
5. "Give your team some curry, they need the runs"
6. "I left work early for this?"
7. "You've got hands like a digital watch"
8. "I'm a talent scout for shit cricketers. Congratulations, you're in"