Inquiring Minds Want to Know: Gym-Bag Edition

“Wow. She must REALLY be out of ideas to write a post about her gym bag. I’m concerned. Maybe the stay-at-home momness is finally getting to her mental capabilities. And she said she used to be cool…

Yes, I can read minds.

However, as I hit the treadmill yesterday, I took stock and started chuckling. And so, in addition to my fabulous running mix, here’s the rest of Mama’s gym necessities.

1.“Best Dad Ever” Tervis tumbler. I keep waiting for someone to raise an eyebrow. For the record, “Best Mom” was dirty from my last gym excursion.

2. One pair of wireless, Bluetooth headphones because I’ve awkwardly caught the headphone wire and sent my phone flying too many times.

3. One pair of regular headphones in case something good is playing on the treadmill’s TV. Also in the “off chance” I forgot to charge my wireless headphones. Can you imagine trying to exercise WITHOUT watching TV? Honestly.

4. Clean (baby) diaper (because the lovely childcare workers won’t change a freakin’ diaper, and Olivia loves to drop one right as I’m in the sweatiest part of my workout.)

5. Wipes (see above)

6. Bag of crackers (for when I get called to the kid area. They also won’t feed your kid anything, and I like to ply my children with food to stifle any emotional negativity.) Also, potentially for me, as I hide away in the locker room for an extra few minutes of “free” childcare to play on my phone.

7. A dish towel I stole from the instructor of my first cycling class. I was seeing black when I finished my first (and only!) cycling class, so she ran out for a bag of ice wrapped with this red, polka-dotted towel. I nicked it because I was too embarrassed to give a sweaty towel to some perky gym employee. I also have a “May the Force be With You” towel to celebrate my rising level of nerdiness.

8. Shower stuff. I sometimes get brave and try for the post-workout shower, but I normally get called halfway through and have to sprint to comfort my hysterical child with wet hair and no make up.

There you have it. Yet another sneak peek into my endlessly fascinating life. I try to remain an enigma to you people, I truly do, but I just can’t help myself.

(I’ll try to be more academically enlightening in forthcoming posts. *wink face*)