PARIS: New kids in town selling a familiar refrain

SAN DIEGO ---- At least one firm answer came from the Padres' new ownership group on Wednesday.

"I just found out where the men's room is this morning,'' Ron Fowler said.

Fowler is one of the new kids in town, although he has been around the San Diego block a time or two. The others, not so much, as Kevin and Brian O'Malley and Peter and Tom Seidler ---- who also have their mitts on this $800 million purchase ---- are in varying stages of finding local digs.

But we welcome this band of tourists, as we are wont to do, and ask them to leave their money and scram.

Just kidding, guys. A grand welcome to you all, and just when can we start printing playoff tickets?

"We are going to underpromise and overperform,'' Fowler said, and is there a banner long enough to hold the gents' fresh slogan?

Egads, here comes the dog-and-pony show about the team being more involved in the community and enhancing the fan experience.

All grand ideas and all stuff we heard from John Moores and Jeff Moorad when they grabbed the wheel of this topsy-turvy franchise.

The excitement that accompanied the start of the Padres' press conference didn't remain at the end. That is no indictment of "0SF" (do we really have to type O'Malley, Seidler and Fowler every time?). It's just that we arrived expecting answers and we got backpedaling, tap dancing and an ample heaping of ambiguous.

First off, where was Peter O'Malley? With the Dodgers game starting around the same time Wednesday, did he slide out to listen to his first love?

Nope. The former Dodgers owner, and Kevin's and Brian's pops, was recuperating from minor surgery.

"He will be here soon,'' Kevin said. "And he says hello.''

We say "hi" back and figure that if Peter couldn't make it, Kevin could relay what he might have said.

"For close to 50 years, we ran a first-class baseball organization,'' Kevin said. "And we feel a great responsibility being here today to carrying on that legacy.''

The last guy through, Moorad, used to tease fans by giving the first number of the payroll. It will start with a five, he would say.

But Fowler, who is the lead voice in the OSF conglomerate, said the next payroll will start with a question mark.

"We are not going to discuss payroll with the press,'' he said "What I will say is we are on solid financial footing.''

Yippee! No more unplayable money lie for the Padres, and when could we say that last?

Speaking of which, where was Phil Mickelson?

Lefty was a hefty part of the run-up to this transaction. He was talking big and bad about being all-in, about a payroll in the $100 million range and about how cool it would be for a kid raised as a Padres fan having a parking spot in the executive lot.