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in a whole new way, and see how it applies to everyday life.
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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Hard to say, "I'm sorry"

"I have considered the message"

1 Kings 5:8

I had to write an apology note the other day. I'd gotten together with some friends last week, and had a very slight disagreement with a longtime friend. I felt bad about an offhand, meant-to-be-funny comment I'd made, and I didn't want it to fester between us, since it will probably be a few months before we see each other again.

And I wanted to write a note, because an email, or a phone call, would call for an immediate response on her part. I didn't necessarily want her to feel compelled to say, "I'm sorry, too" if she wasn't thinking that. Or if she felt she had nothing to apologize for. I just wanted to take it all on me, though I'm not entirely convinced I'm the only one who should apologize, ya know?

And I pondered the wording of the card for a day or so before actually writing it. I wanted to make sure it was phrased properly.

Here's what I wanted to say:

"I'm so sorry for the comment I made the other day. It was just that I have long felt that discussions on that topic were sort of stupid --"

Nope.

"I'm really sorry for what I said the other day. I was frustrated by the idiotic conversation --"

Nope.

"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I made that comment, but if you hadn't --"

Nope.

"Sorry for what happened between us the other day. I've just always had trouble with people who --"

*sigh...*

And you know what I realized the problem is? Pride. I want explain why I said what I said, which is that I wasn't feeling well, or I was tired, or I was provoked or whatever. None of which really matters to God. My heart was in the wrong place, and my mouth followed.

The thank you note I finally wrote included nothing but an apology, and a hope that she knows that I value our friendship. Justification really only comes from Him anyway.