Famous Baseball Drunks: A St. Patty's Day Tribute

No one enjoys a drink more than me. I also love to shirk responsibility, so excuses are high up on the list of things I like. While I'll be staying home this evening and filling out a stack of brackets, I imagine many of you will be out using St. Patrick's Day as an excuse to get retarded drunk and do things you'll regret until at least the Fourth of July.
In your honor, here's a list of drunk baseball milestones. I've left out drunk driving incidents because they're not funny, and I think it would take up too much space on our server.

If there's been a subtext to this blog so far, it's that baseball players are kind of dumb. Throw in some sauce and you get the following sample of the alternatingly despicable, moronic, funny and sad. Much like you at work tomorrow morning.

My friend's friend is good friends with Eric Byrnes from their college days. When Byrnes was on the A's, we went out and had a lot of Jaeger. He called me a pussy because I didn't take two shots in a row, and he was wearing a sleeveless shirt. The next day, he hit for the cycle against the Giants. After that, he went something like 6 for his next 96 ABs. I blame it on not enough Jaeger.