Well, first things first: the doctor said that she believes we can "fix" the esophagus issue with e three-month treatment of Nexium...but she will get back to me.

That said, she ordered me to reduce the stress. To be honest, I have started doing that already whenever the subject first came up. I have been working hard to get out of work at a reasonable time--sometimes that, in of itself, is stressful! Must say that leaving work "on time" has reduced stress in another way: there is a lot less traffic out there if I leave around the time I am supposed to leave. And I do feel different this past week.

That said, I haven't picked up a fly rod. But that does not mean I haven't found things to do to relax. I just spent the whole day on Saturday, Sunday evening, and last evening making a bed for my daughter to use in her first college apartment. Woodworking, like fishing, has been put on the back burner for way too long. This was the first time in I don't know how long that I put aside all the time necessary to design and build a project from beginning to end and it was, in a word, wonderful. I don't know if it is the designing or the building the project that I like or if it is something as silly as I like the feel of wood and the smell of sawdust.

I was in the garage, all by myself, except when I got to a point that I needed an extra hand. The help was provided and the help immediately left once the task was done.

But that was okay. I decided that I really like being by myself. Maybe that is why I enjoy fishing...alone. That was why I had a good time the past few days. Seemed like the only time anybody came down was to see the progress and tell me that it was time to eat or time to take a break any maybe go to bed because the power tools were keeping others awake.

(oops! )

I have to honestly say that I feel a whole lot better now. And once we have moved my kids back into their college apartments, I am going to make sure that I get out on the water more. If woodworking felt this good, then fly fishing is going to feel even better.

I really am jealous of many of you in this forum. You are able to go fishing more than I can ever hope--until I retire or something. Plus many of you live closer to streams than I do.

Sorry for the rambling. It has been a while since I have really looked at anything in here or even sat on the Internet for a period of time. That is probably a good thing!

__________________“Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.” –Henry David Thoreau“Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.” –Groucho Marx

I want to thank you for having the courage to share your life with us/me. Frankly it makes me wish I had done so back when I was struggling the most with stress, angxiety, and depression. Its almost a daily struggle for me, but much better then it used to be. Your sharing is very encouraging.

One thing that helps me greatly is getting out on the water as often as possible. Though, I have carpal tunne that has gotten to the point that it has prevented me from fishing for a couple weeks. Thank goodness I started physical therapy yesterday. I'm hoping to do some striper fishing this Saturday.

__________________-Tom WilsonAttention New Fly Fishers and those just wanting to improve- Join a Fly Fishing Club. They have classes on every aspect of fly fishing for beginners to advanced for free or cheaper than offered elsewhere. Some offer mentor programs. You will make friends with other fly fishers. Clubs often have outings in which members pay special group rates for guides or to fish prime private access areas.

Sounds like things are heading in the right general direction, Ray. Glad you are heeding the wake up call.
I got one a few months ago, and spent a little time in the hospital. It was an eye opener.
Sometimes things are not real to us, or to the people close to us, if we don't articulate them somehow. Just stating the problem and desired "treatment" out loud, or putting that in writing can open up a clearer direction to follow.
Stay the course. The trail gets easier as you go along !

Thanks for all the support, guys. The report came back from the doctor in the mail today and it isn't all that bad. The old gut isn't perfect but it is not as bad as feared. That said, the doctor who performed the procedure told me that he agrees with my primary care doctor. He said if I don't start to handle the stress better, it won't be as good next time...

I have been doing what they told me and doing things that I like to do and keeping work and other pains of life at an arm's distance. Fishing has not been one of the things I have done, as of yet, but I did take this past weekend and built a bed for my daughter to bring to college. I haven't taken two whole days out to do woodworking in literally forever. It was incredible. And the bed even turned out pretty good!

Today, I got myself all wrapped up in my underwear at at work and left 30 minutes after I have been and I felt it. That was good. I think it is working.

I really need to finish the bed this weekend, so no fishing, but soon...soon. I know there will be a lot more time once the two kids go back to school. And I have a bunch of vacation days left....cant wait.

I think I may be reaching the age where a guy starts thinking about his life and if what and who he was and is really matters or mattered. I believe this happens more in men than women, but I could be wrong. I think I spent so much time trying to make sure my family had what they needed and I got into a rut.

I talk to my kids, especially my son, and I see so much of me in them....me when I was young. I was going to make a difference. I was going to change things. I was going to fix things. I was going to do things right.

Then life happened.

I didn't totally sell out but I didn't do everything I said I was going to do. Well, I did very little of the grandiose things I thought I would. And now I hear him saying the same sorts of things. I don't want to burst his bubble, if you know what I mean. I hope he does a better job than me.

But now I am in retrospection, so I should actually be glad I had this little episode; otherwise, I would never have taken the time. Funny how things that start out poorly end up being a really good thing.

__________________“Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.” –Henry David Thoreau“Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.” –Groucho Marx

In retrospect, you may not have done the specific grandiose things you wanted to. But you have done grandiose things you don't realize you did.
Look at your son, carrying some of your dreams into the future. Kids going to college ? That's pretty grandiose from where I sit. What kind of a man builds a bed for his daughter ? A damn good man. Sounds like you are developing a generation of your family that will have values and a work ethic, and and an apprecation for what hard work provides.
You busted your hump for years, and for what ?
Just look around you. Pretty grandiose legacy. Take the time to enjoy it.