A MIND COMPLETELY BITTEN BY THE SERPENT OF SEX "You may think that the Grand Tour is about politics, & culture, & art, and you would be quite right; but it is also about gambling, and drinking, and sex. Particularly sex."

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Again the crazy temptation to hang around Sunday morning and wait to see Laetitia and Zara before going home! Crazy, I need as much rest as possible, and need to pack. This is how desire works, when it is least possible that is when you want it most. When it is most exciting to actually do it. When the cost is greatest.
Yes the —– idea is a great one—for when the time comes. To go to Soho tomorrow is madness, but I would love to see Laetitia’s tits again. Save it for New Year 7th January. Sunday morning! Just Sunday night to do! I will surely be so broke when I get back from Vienna. And hope I am, as it will mean I had a great time.

Yes I spent a lot of money in Brussels, but Christ it was nice meeting Leyla, and nice seeing all those girls in the windows, and nice spending those 4 hours in Cine Paris. Leyla is the first woman I have felt any feelings for since I split up with ——, a long long time ago.

Just 15 days till Brussels! Bank looking better than I expected, and I am NOT going to spend a penny on strippers to destroy that! I am off Monday to Wednesday; what to do? Maybe tomorrow don’t even renew my oyster? No, to be honest, I cannot stay home all day; I have to at least go to —– for my 3 beers to find some oblivion, so I can knock myself out and make those days pass by faster, till Brussels can come, and then Vienna can come; the only time I come to life. tempted to try Mary on Monday?

I had double cum handjob with Manuela to start the year, then ended the year with fantastic —-s with Jackie in WSK, Adelina in Manhattan and Lucy in Fifth Avenue. Now I stand on brink of a new great paradigm shift in my life—if I can give up strippers, even if only for 3 months! I SHOULD be rich. I SHOULD be able to afford a flat of my own no problem, I cannot because of my ever growing credit card debt and it is growing not because of travelling, but because I am wasting £410 a month at the ——–.

But of course as always I cannot be down on myself too much, all that debt was incurred on pleasure, and in particular travel, so was any of that money wasted? No, it was all spent on travel. And if I had all that money back again, I would just straightaway spend it all on travel again. So it is not like I wasted all the money on some terrible investment, or on something that then got stolen and lost. I spend it doing exactly the most important thing I want to spend money on. That money brought me the most fantastic sexual experiences with Adelina in Manhattan, Fortuna blonde, Manuela in Burggasse Peep, Amanda and Jackie in WSK, Andrea and Julia, and Inna and Lucy in Fifth Avenue, Maria in Pour Platin, Riccarda, Diana, Olga & Alla in Berlin etc etc etc. The only thing is for my safety and future harder life, I have to try to rein this in now. Rein it in for a while, just so I can go again. There is no point living like a monk and owing zero pounds and just carry on living like a monk till the day you die. I have to try to indulge as much of my pleasure as I can, while still young and fit and healthy (and single). I have to put all that pleasure in my bank, so when I am old and infirm at least I can look back and think well at least I did something, at least I travelled to some amazing places, and slept with some incredible women. That is why every penny of that debt is worth it. Not a single penny is wasted or do I regret. Yes, there have been some bad trips, but you never know until you get there. You have to keep spinning the roulette wheel to enjoy those occasional massive successes that live with you forever. The successes are of so much greater value than whatever they cost me in pure money terms. Adelina, Lucy, Andrea, Amanda, etc etc etc absolutely mind-blowing experiences. The highs that you remember for all your life. Important to reach a philosophical position on debt, as much as a practical management position on it.

In January to September alone I have spent £2,242 on strippers, and that does not include all the beer I consume while doing it, all the drinks I bought for them & bar staff. STOPPING going to strip pubs for rest of year will make a massive difference. That is the turning point. THAT is only thing that will bring my credit card debt down, bring my credit card minimum payments down. Just think that £2,242 I had not spent on strippers I could have spent in Vienna and Brussels! Much better use of the money. That £234 I spent in —– last week alone could have gone on paying off my cards, and been used as spending money in Brussels and Vienna. That is the incentive. I am doing well, in August I reduced my credit card debt by £74 and in September by a further £240. Without —— I can be reducing it by almost £500 a MONTH. That is reducing my credit card debt by a THOUSAND POUNDS every two months, potentially. The prize is there, and it is attainable. The low lying fruit is there.

Decided some things in the bath. Vienna has to wait till December. If I went at end of October I would get there with nothing in the bank. So December then. And to go to Frankfurt on first night means a huge long journey Tuesday and not getting to Vienna till mid afternoon, already most of day gone. And Frankfurt is so close to Brussels I can try out Frankfurt anytime, on a day trip from Brussels anytime! Don’t know why I haven’t done it before. So yes therefore I must do the LONG journey on the Monday to Brussels and then straight to Munich. That way Tuesday I have short journey to Vienna and can be there by midday. Gives me maximum time in Vienna. Don’t care how boring or expensive Munich is, it is just a stopover for maximum convenience for Vienna.