From Germany to Jerusalem

My long road to becoming Jewish.

I was born in 1934 as a German. God decided I would not be one of the Jewish Holocaust victims; instead I belonged to the nation of murderers.

And now I am a Jew.

I was raised in a religious Christian family. I went to church, studied the Bible, and prayed to Jesus. But the undercurrent of my childhood was the Holocaust, taking place so near, yet so far away.

As a little girl, I thought that Hitler was a good man. My father had been without work and we were very poor. Then Hitler came and suddenly we had enough to eat. I did not know any Jews and there had never been a synagogue in our little town.

On my fifth birthday, World War II began. My parents said that Hitler started it, but on the streets everyone said that Poland started and we only were fighting back. I was inclined to believe the latter. How could Hitler have done something bad? After all, he had built such wonderful Autobahnen roadways.

But my parents knew that Hitler was evil. When I started kindergarten, they took me out after one week. They said that the kindergarten teacher was a Nazi and would be a bad influence on me. So my parents made an excuse that I had lice and could not go to school.

We did not have a radio at home, although we could have gotten one for free. The government gave one to every family, so they could listen to Hitler's speeches. But my parents refused to have a radio because they didn't want me to even hear his voice.

The next year I started first grade; I guess my parents couldn't keep making excuses forever. Every morning we had to stand up, raise our right arm, and sing about the Deutschland. We had to be careful not to move our raised arm, since we were "strong German children." In Germany, to be strong and fit was something good; weakness was bad. Goethe wrote: "You can win or lose. You can be the anvil or the hammer." At age 6, I decided: "I will never be an anvil!"

If Hitler came to town, I would throw flowers into his car.

We were taught to love Hitler. By law, his picture was hanging in every home. In school, we had a writing assignment: "What would you do if the Fuehrer came to town?" I wrote that I would throw flowers into his car.

My mother had worked for the mother of Franz Rosenzweig. She told me that one day they drove all the Jews through the town of Kassel. People lined the streets and threw eggs at the Jews, along with hateful shouting. My mother stood there, weeping and feeling guilty that she was a member of the crowd. And what astonished her most was that these were otherwise "nice, normal people."

Before long, Germany itself was judenrein. Late in the evening, when my parents thought I was asleep, I stood behind the door in the dark and listened. They spoke of the concentration camps and the mass slaughter of Jews. It was forbidden to speak openly about it, but everyone knew. (After the war, when people said they knew nothing about what happened, I knew it was a lie.)

Once when my mother was hanging laundry on the line, I saw how bitterly she wept. She said that Hitler was a terrible man, and that I must pray as hard as I can that we lose the war.

Toward the end of the war, we had no school for the entire year. Then one day, as the war drew to a close, we had to assemble at the school. With the Nazi intimidation no longer threatening, the teachers decided it was time to come clean: They told us that all along they'd lied about Hitler, but were forced to do it. I was disappointed and despised them.

A memory from age 11:

The teacher is giving a lesson about the biblical prophets. We hear how Jeremiah was called by God to convince the people of Israel to change their way of life. But they did not listen, and ignored the word of God. In the end, Jeremiah flees to Egypt, and the Temple, the holiest place on Earth, is destroyed.

When I hear this, tears start running down my face. I put my head on my desk, in the middle of all the schoolbooks, and sob. Everyone is looking at me. The teacher comes over, angry. "Stand up!"

I stand in front of him, frightened. He shouts at me: "Why are you weeping?!"

Now I weep even more, uncontrollably.

"Why you are crying? Tell me now!"

I don't know what to say. I myself do not understand. And then I stammer: "I feel so sad about Jeremiah and the Jews."

I sit down and continue sobbing. I don't care what they say about me. They don't understand. I myself do not understand, what makes me weep so much about a story that happened over 2,000 years ago, in a country far away, to people I don't even know.

The teacher shouts: "Rubbish," then turns and walks away.

Here I was, a Christian girl in a German school, weeping over the destruction of the Jews, while the blood of 6 million was still fresh. For some strange reason, I felt a deep connection to the Jewish people.

Israel and Eli

In my early twenties I moved to England, where I learned to speak English. I read a book about the Holocaust which left me weeping and helpless. In England, I was invited to go to Israel, as part of a group called Operation Reconciliation (Aktion Sühnezeichen). These were groups of young Germans who volunteered to work for a year in countries where the Germans had done damage. They had already planted trees in Holland on dikes destroyed by German soldiers, built a church in Norway, and built a water carrier to a village in Crete.

And now for the first time they were going to Israel. (They had tried several times before, but the Israelis did not yet want them.) They wanted me to go to a kibbutz, to work in the fields and with cattle. That was not my idea of a meaningful experience, so I declined.

After England, I lived in Rome, as I'd always dreamed of. I worked for the Papal Oriental Institute. It was there that I confronted the question: What am I going to do with my life? I didn't have an answer. After thinking it over for a few days, I decided: God will give me an answer. He's the only one who knows. Not long after I received an express letter, asking me again to join the group for Israel. I felt God leading me in that direction, so I agreed.

In 1961, I came to Kibbuz Urim in the Negev. To my great surprise I felt at home in Israel and fell in love with the country. The kibbutz was founded by Americans, and since I knew English, I started missionizing them. But their arguments were better than mine. I stopped and thought to myself, Maybe I should know my own religion better.

I went back to Germany to study Catholic Theology. I studied all the "sources" and discovered that Catholic doctrine stands on very shaky legs.

I wanted to belong to the Jewish people. I was homesick for Israel, and in my spare time I published a book about my experiences in Israel called Die Straße nach Jerusalem – the Road to Jerusalem.

When she heard that I was German, she refused to see me.

When I finished my studies, I bought a ticket to Israel. For the first five months, I learned Hebrew at an ulpan, and then began looking for some kind of social work. Yosef, the head of our ulpan, brought me to a woman who was in charge of all the social institutions in northern Israel. She came from Germany, and when she heard that I was German, she refused to even see me. I had to stay outside, while Yosef tried to convince her. "Forget it," she told him.

In the meantime, this woman sent her son, Eli, to speak with me. (It would have been impolite to leave me standing alone outside.) She had unknowingly sent my future husband. Eli and I talked and talked, for days and weeks. We felt like we'd known each other for eternity.

Eli's family on his mother's side found it hard to accept me. They originally came from Spain, from a long line of Torah scholars. One studied closely with Rabbi Shabbtai Cohen ("the Shach") and the great Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch had married into their family.

Eli and I wanted to get married, but nobody would perform the ceremony, not a rabbi nor a priest. So we went to Cyprus and had a civil ceremony. I changed to a Hebrew name, Michal. I got pregnant and started doing Jewish things. I was proud to be an Israeli mother.

We split our time between Israel and Germany. Our first son was born in Haifa, and our second son in Bavaria.

Time went on and we settled permanently in Germany. Our sons grew up. We tried to raise them Jewish. Although we were not a religious family, I lit Shabbat candles and we celebrated the Jewish holidays. But that was not enough. Outside the house, our boys were just like the Christian kids. And we gave off contradictory messages that weakened the boys' attachment to Judaism: When we needed money, I relied on my background to teach Bible topics in Christian schools, and I wrote textbooks with a non-Jewish flavor, with titles like Biblische Geschichten für Kinder (Bible Stories for Children).

In the end, our sons married Christian wives, and our grandchildren are not Jewish. My younger son said: "I don't feel Jewish at all. I feel at home in the village, where everyone is Catholic." We were very sad about this because we wanted to raise them as Jews and knew we had failed.

Websurfing and Windsurfing

One day in 2002, my husband was surfing the Internet and came across an article on Aish.com, "Dry Cleaning for the Soul" by Rabbi Shraga Simmons. The article spoke about how even though we make mistakes, there is a way to fix them, by expressing regret and resolving to improve. What concerns God, more than our particular station, is whether we've made a commitment to change and are moving in the right direction.

The article made Eli think and he sat there all afternoon weeping. Then I read it and immediately joined him in crying. We knew our mistake. We had ignored the Torah and had not observed the mitzvot. We did not give our children the right Jewish education. We had not done nearly enough to counteract the non-Jewish environment, and some of our actions may have even pushed them in that direction.

But the power of teshuva, the article said, is that things can be fixed. Maybe not 100 percent in this world, but at least in the spiritual realms. So we started to change our life, to create a real Jewish home. We made our kitchen kosher, we learned to pray, and our Jewish holidays became different, too. We hoped to influence our grandchildren, so that they would see an example of Jewish life and become interested.

My life changed dramatically in 2004, when we were on vacation in Italy. Eli spent hours windsurfing, which he really loved. He often said that if he would die, he would want it to be on the sea while windsurfing. I would sit on the beach and watch Eli on his small green surfboard, in the midst of the beautiful sea, where he'd close his eyes and listen to the cry of the seagulls, the playing children, and the relaxing sound of the waves.

And then, suddenly, I found Eli outstretched on his beloved surfboard, dead. I was in shock. Yes, not long before he'd had a heart attack and a cancer operation. But he overcame it. And now in one second he was gone. I was alone. How could I possibly go on? We had been best friends for 39 years!

In my suitcase I had packed a printout from Aish.com, "The 48 Ways to Wisdom." At least I thought I'd packed it. When Eli and I arrived in Italy, I discovered that I'd mistakenly taken another article, "Death and Mourning in Judaism." Eli laughed about it, and said, "At your age, you can't rely on your mind anymore!"

The wrong file turned out to be the right one.

I knew that Eli did not disappear, that his soul was still alive, even more alive than it had been on earth. But I missed Eli terribly and was angry at God for taking him away. I wanted to die, too.

Jewish in Jerusalem

After Eli died, I continued to move forward in my Judaism. I took an online course about keeping kosher, and learned many new mitzvot. I thought many times about converting, and spoke to different rabbis. But it seemed so difficult and even unnecessary. After all, I had a strong Jewish feeling and was observing so many mitzvot!

On the other hand, I felt like something was missing. Should I convert? I struggled for weeks and months, back and forth. I made so many rabbis crazy that some of them gave up on me. I talked to God all day long and shed many tears. I knew I wanted to convert, but I didn't know how it was possible. In the end I gave up and said to God: "I don't know what to do any more. Please take all the responsibility and do with me what You want."

That's when my miracle happened.

In March 2007, at age 72, I came on a visit to Israel. I arrived at my hotel in Jerusalem just in time to light the Shabbat candles. On Sunday morning I went to the Beit Din (rabbinical court) that handled conversions. I explained my entire life story, and they told me: "Come back tomorrow for an examination."

I collapsed and an ambulance rushed me to the hospital.

The next day I went and took the exam. It was many questions about Jewish philosophy and law. I must have done well, because they told me: "Come back tomorrow to appear before the Beit Din." Hearing those words, I became very frightened and got terrible pains in my stomach. I collapsed and an ambulance rushed me to the hospital.

The doctors wanted to keep me overnight for tests and observation. But no way was I going to miss my appointment with the Beit Din! I had come too far to turn back now. The doctors said it was dangerous for me to leave the hospital, and that something worse could happen. But I had reached the point where I figured it was better to be a dead Jew than to live as a non-Jew. So I signed a form and left the hospital on my own responsibility.

I took a taxi back to the hotel and I was thinking: Why is God doing this to me? I started talking to the taxi driver and told him a bit of my story. He said that he did not see any meaning in his life and he'd thought about shooting himself. I told him that even though the Jews have suffered so much, we are God's special children, bound to Him by a covenant. As I got out of the taxi, he thanked me and said that our meeting had been planned in Heaven.

The next day I went to the Beit Din. They asked me a lot of questions – about Shabbat, prayer, and my feelings about Christianity. In the end, the rabbis felt that I not only knew Judaism, but loved it. They had me stand and say that I will observe all the 613 mitzvot, and that I accept the written Torah as well as the Oral Law. Then I recited aloud, "Shema Yisrael."

The next day I went to the mikveh and was Jewish. This all touched me so deeply and I could not stop weeping. One of the women there hugged me and told me not to worry, that a lot of new converts have such an emotional reaction.

Then I chose a second Jewish name: Batya, after the Egyptian princess who raised Moses, and whose name means "daughter of God."

I flew back to Germany, utterly exhausted.

Epilogue

So now I'm back again in the Bavarian Forest, in my own home with 130 books on Judaism. I feel so loved by God and so honored to be a Jew. And even though I am here with few other Jews, I see miracles every day.

I recently had a Shabbat guest, Marek. He thinks that his mother was Jewish. He was born in a little town which is now in Ukraine. But when he and his brother were children, they were separated from their parents and ended up in Czechia. Irena, his wife, was brought up as a Communist and is an atheist. She said that she felt a special atmosphere in my house on Shabbat, and wants to bring her children to experience it, too.

From a nation of murderers, I have become a daughter of Israel.

The only real sadness left in my life is that my older son is married to a Christian woman. But he is showing an interest in Judaism. He watches my observance with very sharp eyes. He taught his children "Shema Yisrael," and they say it every evening. And I use my influence as a grandmother: When the priest teaches them to pray to Jesus, I tell them about the one and only God.

On Friday nights, my older son comes to my home and brings some challah back to his family. He has stopped using the computer on Shabbat, and tries not to drive or turn on lights. Since he and his family are not Jewish, it is impossible for him to lead a Jewish life, but he says he hopes that will change. I told him the idea from "Dry Cleaning for the Soul" that changed my life: In God's book, every step counts. When my son heard this, he smiled.

I suffer from the heartbreak of knowing that I bore Eli descendents who are not Jewish, and I pray that the Jewish part of our family does not end with me. I hope that one day, when my son has more time and the children are grown, he will convert the same as I did.

After such a long journey, I feel I have attained my inner peace. Through it all, God showed me His love, and opened the door to teshuva. After I'd lost my husband, it gave me time to think it over again and again, if I really want to be Jewish. God wanted me to be alone, to confront myself and my budding Jewish soul. Even when I tried to escape, He grabbed me and put me back on track. Then He carried me to Jerusalem and arranged my conversion. Only now do I understand that His intentions were all for my good. What a special gift He has given me.

I still have nightmares of how the Germans tried to kill God and His children. But never, never will His enemies succeed. I am living proof: From a nation of murderers, I have become a daughter of Israel. I am so glad to be home. Forever.

About the Author

Visitor Comments: 95

(88)
Isabelle Cohen Johnson,
April 11, 2013 1:57 PM

Repairing the faith

Very inspirational story, thank you for sharing it. I am too working on repairing WWII damages but as the daughter of a child of the Holocaust, who walked away from faith... It is painful but so rewarding when I hear my children reciting the Sh'ma. Chazak!

(87)
Al,
April 5, 2013 8:11 PM

Hi Michal! Such a beautiful story! Don't worry! They will convert to Judaism, if not your grandchildren, their children will! :) So everything will be alright! Judaism has been lost in my family for many decades, almost a century, and now I am willing to return, I feel it's a part of me!

(86)
Alice,
April 5, 2013 8:47 AM

Inspiring

I am an Orthodox Jew and I plan to tell your story at the shabbos table. I cried when I read it...Thank you Michal!

(85)
Maria,
April 5, 2013 5:16 AM

My love for the Jewish people

I so relate with you and the love you have for the Jewish people.I am from Bolivia and my great grandparents on my dad's side left Europe during or maybe just after the war. They were from France. I do not recall ever celebrating any Jewish traditions as a child but I remember my grandma lighting candles on Saturday and covering her head. She never explained why. We also never celebrated Christmas. My mom on the other hand was very catholic and followed all the traditions. I now am very curious as to weather I have some Jewish blood and I have always had a special love for the Jewish people and Israel.
I do pray that one glorious day God will allow me and my family travel to Israel. I also hope my dad will tell me more of our background. He faced many challenges when he was a child and also as an adult. He is atheist and hates anything that is religious so he hides a lot of things because he is trying to forget.
Thank you for sharing your story it brings me hope that may be one day I will know why my life is the way it is.
I do believe God has set a course for our lives and we might not understand it but boy does he know it. Nothing happens in our lives without a reason and a purpose.

When I was 7, my hebrew teacher made me read Historias de la biblia para niños... now as I read, I find this woman is the author... Hello Michal, someone in Argentina grew up Jew, thanks in part to you...

es58,
April 5, 2013 4:24 PM

WOW!

Dear Michal,
The above letter is from just 1 of your "children/disciples" . And each
step taken by her, and the others you've
touched, is to your credit. Ashraich!

(83)
Anonymous,
April 5, 2013 12:30 AM

From Germany to Jerusalem

One of the most touching conversion stories I have ever read.It also shows how sad the situation was in Germany, victims on both sides, including children. How awful it must have been to have no power but to stand on the other side, watching the atrocities and the mass denial in your own country , while all along the author of this story had a Jewish soul. I was glad to read the happy ending and the hope for the future expressed by the author.It gave me hope too, since I am on a similar journey.

(82)
Ruth,
April 4, 2013 8:31 PM

So sad

She could have raised a Jewish family all the way. I do not understand she did not have the info about conversion all these years.

(81)
MichelleL,
April 4, 2013 1:40 PM

Inspiring

This story inspires me, as I sometimes take for granted that I was lucky enough to be born and raised Jewish. This is not the first time that a person who has converted to Judaism has inspired me to be more observant. Great story, thanks for sharing :-)

(80)
Anonymous,
April 4, 2013 1:14 PM

This is such a beautiful story

I was blessed to be born Jewish from Jewish Parents and Grandparents.. Your story is just out of this world, I am so happy you followed your dreams of being jewish. I hope your son follows you... wish I knew you better..

(79)
Dvorah,
April 4, 2013 6:22 AM

very inspiring

We lose so many Jews and finish Hitler's job by assimilation, as the daughter of survivors myself, it is important to keep that history and memory alive...it was always painful for me to be around Non Jewish Poles and Germans - I always think that their grandparents murdered my Grandparents...seeing Michal's devotion, dedication and tenacity helps relieve the pain of the past. May G-d bless you and your family and may they see the light that Judaism has to offer

(78)
Miriam,
April 4, 2013 3:11 AM

A Jewish Soul

I was born in the United States, and have always felt a very strong attachment to the Jewish way of life, learning all that I could over the years, and believing all along that I would eventually convert due to my deep spiritual attachment to the faith and honest desire to live my life as an observant Jew. It is my hope that those who were fortunate to be born Jews can be generous about accepting converts for the sincere and earnest believers that they are, without questioning their motives.

(77)
Rachel Leah,
April 4, 2013 12:50 AM

May Hashem shower her beautiful soul with endless blessings

(76)
Tsipora,
April 3, 2013 5:09 PM

What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing it with us!

I was truly touched by your life story! May you see lots of Jewish Nachas from your children and grandchildren!

(75)
Anonymous,
April 3, 2013 4:48 PM

Jewish Souls in a non-Jewish Body

When I read a story like this, especially when the person felt an attachment to the Jewish people for a young age, it is clear to me that this is a Jewish soul born in a non-Jewish body. As the child matures their soul becomes aware of its true identity and the yearning to reunite with their own people becomes stronger.

It doesn't strike me as odd at all that there are more German converts as skeptical Amit asserts ( I don't know if that is actually true). So many Jews died prematurely in the Holocaust there, so many Jewish souls, why should there not be many souls there born German who feel the pull to their own true people?

I personally know a young man born Catholic in the US who at around 12 felt he was Jewish and went to a rabbi asking how to convert. The rabbi said come back when you are 18 and we will talk. This boy returned many times, sometimes with his mother who didn't understand but didn't object, and at 18 he did begin his formal path to conversion and has lived as a Jew for about 12 years.

(74)
ralph,
April 3, 2013 4:29 PM

From Germany to Israël

I think it is wonerful story of search of one's identity.

Why to be negative against that woman and her motivations? She went through a difficult life path and

she owes our respect. Don't accuse the children for their parent's sins. In her case they were even against the Nazi regime.

(73)
Anonymous,
April 3, 2013 4:28 PM

rod from Germany to Jerusalem

This story makes uncomfortable too. Why did the couple decide to settle in Germany and not in Israel? after all the young was Israeli.What kind of home did they provide for their growing sons? so many unanswered questions. The faith aspect feels luke warm and not very convincing.

(72)
Mia Sherwood Landau,
April 3, 2013 3:44 PM

A Jewish Soul

It took me over 50 years to discover that I have a Jewish soul. The connection to Torah and Judaism for a person who has been raised as a Christian is something that is very hard for some people to understand. We all tend to form opinions based on our own life experiences, and that is normal. I know from my life experience as an American that conversion is a soul imperative, not a social, cultural or religious decision from guilt or remorse. People are discovering their soul imperatives all over the world, and it is our responsibility as Jews to respect the call to Torah worldwide. It is what we have been praying for for centuries, that God’s sovereignty will be established in our days, and now there are more of us praying, fulfilling our people's soul imperative.

(71)
Anonymous,
April 3, 2013 3:36 AM

Thank you for this wonderful article. People who are born Jewish, like myself, must learn from you what it really means to be a Jew and how lucky we are to be Gd's chosen people.

(70)
Amit,
April 3, 2013 2:25 AM

Skeptical

This story makes me feel uncomfortable. German converts almost always seem to do. Their motives are often influenced by the crimes of their parents and grand-parents. Is it a coincidence that Germany produces more converts than any other nation (in terms of percentage)? It must be difficult to be German, but is it reasonable to invert the roles? To change from being a member of the nations of murderers (yes, there were a few exception,s but on the whole people support Nazism. Hitler was democratically elected) to being a member of the victims? I am skeptical. I once read that the power of self-delusion is pretty much limitless. I am, therefore, skeptical of the alleged memory of when the writer was 11. How strong is the desire to not be stained by the crimes of one's people? How strong is the desire to affiliate oneself with the moral victors?

Jeff,
April 3, 2013 5:09 PM

Amit-I do appreciate your comments. I am married to the daughter of Holocaust survivors. The issues that these survivors brought along with them still affect their children as well as their their grandchildren. Michal represents the other side. A five year old can't be held responsible for the sins of their parents-as stated in the Torah-children will suffer from the sins of their parents! I see too many similarities in her life that pertain to the changes going on in America today. I am scared, like she was!

Anonymous,
April 4, 2013 7:22 PM

Conversion

is nearly impossible in Germany so I doubt that Germany "produces" more converts. Even so, if due to historical reasons, Germans learn about Judaism and then fall in love with it, is that so strange? Was Hitler democratically elected? 33% and a stupid Hindenburg who made Hitler chancellor as a minority coalition partner. The rest is history. I do agree that historical reasons should not be a ground for conversion, that would be very silly indeed.

Neal,
April 5, 2013 1:07 AM

Who are you to be skeptical?

Amit, on one level I can understand you skepticism, but on another level, I'd have to ask the question in the subject line. Who cares why this lovely woman decided to become Jewish? The fact is she did. It's no one's business why and no one has any right to question her motives.
What matters is that she identifies as a Jew and lives as a Jew -- which is a lot more than many people born Jewish do.
I'm too, am uncomfortable around Germans and things Germanic. But I cannot and do not blame Germans my age for what their parents and grandparents did; that's totally unfair no matter what the Torah says about the "sins of the fathers." I was raised by very honorable parents, for which I'm grateful, but if parents are not honorable, what, exactly, can their young children do about it? We must not blame people for what their parents and grandparents did. And I don't. But yet, I still have discomfort around anything German. When dealing with Germans born during or after the war, I have to tell myself repeatedly that they had nothing to do with what their parents and grandparents did. But yes, there is some dificult cognitive dissonance.
The beit din seems to have made it exceptionally easy for this woman to become officially Jewish. Kol hakovod its wisdom and rachmanut. Israel's rabbinic courts now seem to make it as difficult as possible for anyone to become Jewish --as if there were so many hundreds of millions of us that we should push people away.
If a person claims to be a Jew, lives like a Jew -- following at least some of the mitzvot peculiar to Judaism, who are we to question or be skeptical. We should be fully welcoming.

(69)
Anonymous,
April 2, 2013 12:40 PM

I am a convert from Germany too

I am a convert from Germany too, I can relate to your story very well. I don' t know much about judaism , the laws but I also can fell Hashem's love for me and I see and hear his love for the Jewish people.

I wish there were more people like her that had such a great love for Judaism.

(65)
BUMBLE.,
June 20, 2007 6:08 AM

I just believe in Huminty & Peace.

It was a big painfull disaster I ever read & heard in the Mankind History. Some time I myself feel crying. But can,t do nothing. GOD; Care all of us. And makes us a good HUMAN. (BUMBLE)

(64)
Thomas Sebastian,
June 18, 2007 5:56 AM

You Are a Strong Woman

Dear Michal I just want to say a big thanks for sharing your wonderful life

(63)
Ben Matti,
June 17, 2007 1:51 PM

A touching story

The story is beautiful and up-to-date. It reminds me of the TV series "Winds of War" and "War and Remembrance" (Herman Wouk, starring Robert Mitchum), and the films "Hanna's War"(Golan-Globus production) and "Exodus" (starring Paul Newman). Psalm 23. Mazel tov!

(62)
Michal Batya,
June 16, 2007 6:26 PM

You are right, Monika (Unzulaessige Verallgemeinerung)

Of course everybody needs Gods help in any subject. I agree with you, that I can not say "nation of murderers" (although Christians used to say since ages, that "Jews killed Christ" what is just as wrong)But that does not make my statement right.I should have written perhaps: "Nation, where especially gruesome murderers killed 6 million Jews, although most of the murderers were Christians." It is well known, that there have been good Germans too. In Yadvashem gibt es ja sogar eine StraÃŸe der Gerechten. (author)

(61)
Jimbo Salsa,
June 15, 2007 10:45 PM

To Monika

Monika, unfortunately the stigma of the Holocaust will remain with Germany and the Germans forever. Not that we, as Jews, want to keep this wound open, but the fact is that although one cannot blame a single individual for the Holocaust, except of course, Hitler and his cronies, collectively the German nation is responsible for this hideous crime. From the films that survive of that time, it is clear that Hitler attracted thousands of people to see him, the Austrians seemed to be very happy with the Anschluss, and so on. No, Monika, telling the truth in this case is not lashon harah. What Hitler planted in Germany is still blooming today. Please keep your ideas to yourself; my family lost plenty of its members in Poland when the Germans invaded the country and killed them in concentration camps, and I think I speak for many when I tell you that we don't need people like you come teach to us what the Torah is all about. We tried to teach you people first... and we failed.

(60)
Jim Appleman,
June 15, 2007 12:48 PM

TEAR ARE IN MY eyes.

I wish that people would all be CARING like this. I was so close to convertingalso when I lived in OHIO. My Dad's BEST friend: Jewish, and atKENT State, most all of my Friends were Fabulous, and Jewish. I could go on.

(59)
Shira,
June 15, 2007 12:12 PM

I am disturbed by this story

What a disappointing story! I am surprise that this article was the editor's Pick. I feel very sorry for Eli's family to lose a son like that. This is a Jewish mother's worse nightmare. What does Aish trying to tell us by this story?

(58)
M.K. ATLEY,
June 14, 2007 9:17 AM

GREAT STORY I

I JUST BECAME JEWISH YESTERDAY / I WAS LIKE THIS LADY/ AFTER HUSBAND DIED I TO WANTED TO BE JEWISH KNOWING MY FAMILY YRS. AGO WAS JEWISH. GREAT STORY/

(57)
Anshu verma,
June 14, 2007 4:11 AM

"I was under Orders"

Agreeed with Monika that an entire Nation can not be blamed for the atrocities being done by a few.but you have to face this bitter reality that the silence of your ancestors played a big role in all those mishappenings that occured in your Nation during the Hitler era.After the war all the Ex- Nazis tried to retreat their heinous crimes by saying a single sentence " i was under orders"..why did'nt those who were not under orders came out in protest of what was going on with those innocents ?They saw everything as a mute spectator and i think it is tantamount to actual doing it.

(56)
Monika Brennan,
June 13, 2007 3:51 PM

one confused lady

May God help this lady to learn what it means to be Jewish and to be Christian.First of all,I was born in Berlin,one year after the war ended.I deeply resent her speaking of Germany as the "nation of murderers." As with every nation,the ones who make the descisions are the ones in government.If there is a dictator,naturally the people are forced into doing things they don't want to do in order to save their own lives until the dictator is out of power.I am immensely sorry that so many Jewish people had to give their lives,but please believe me everyone, it was not the wish of the entire nation.As a matter of fact,my grandmother was the housekeeper to a Jewish family in Berlin and whose daughter later on became my mothers best friend. My grandparents saved the lives of several Jewish people by hiding them, as well as my father, while in the army,saved the lives of 22 men who had been marked earlier as Jews.Neither my grandparends nor my parents wanted to be part of the Nazi group and had to suffer greatly for standing up to them.My grandparents owned a drugstore on the east side in Berlin which was constantly vandelized by the Nazis.My parents and I lived in an apartment building at Bernauerstrasse where later the wall was built. Our Jewish friends were all able to flee to Norway unharmed.My parents and I fled at night by subway to the huge transition refugee camp at Berlin Tempelhof airport.The west section of Berlin had been just across the street from us,but everything had been blocked off by a wire fence at that time where later the wall went up.We had left everything behind.The only memory of my mum's Jewish friend I have today is a little cardboard box with a set of gold earrings in it.The label on top of the box gives the Jewelry store, which the Jewish family owned,and the name of the street where it was located was "Adolf Hitler Str." When I was born in 1946,our Jewish friends had already left.Only the stories were passed on to me and the little box.I grew up a Protestant Christian only because that's what my mum had been.And so it is within Judaism,one is a Jew if the mother is a Jew.I never had any contact with any Jewish person,simply because there were never any around for me to meet.As time I made my way through several Christian denominations, I had learned a lot about the history of the Jewish people from the old Testament and how God has dealt with them in the past.You see, when I went to school,I was considered a refugee,poor and rejected by those who had never gone through hardships as I already had.But it brought me close to God,the God of Israel and my Father in Heaven.Today I don't belong to any denomination.Over the years I have learned that God deals with Israel as a nation and with the Gentiles which are the people of the nations outside of Israel,on an individual basis.As a matter of fact, we are "grafted in to the tree of Israel as the branches." God did not leave us out.It is good for all of Israel to follow the Torah and studythe Tanakh,but we don't need to convert to Judaism to be close to God or Israel ? One day last year in one of the stores,I got unexpectly into a conversation with a man who had mentioned the word "jewish" as he stood behind me.I turned around and asked him if he was Jewish when he reached out his hand to me saying that he is a Jew while at the same time I told him that I am a Christian.Instead of shopping,we talked and talked.I was delighted to have finally met a Jewish person.He was a pilot and lived in another city,but by God's providence as it turned out,my conversation with David prompted me to study all the articles on this website written by Rabbis who have great inside and bring the Torah and the Tanakh to life for me.I have gained incredible knowledge and in my heart I am as one with the people of Israel,while on the other hand I know that I will be judged according to my faith in God as a Christian Gentile.In 1966 I had married a Canadian and have helped him to know that there is an Almighty God who longs to be close to us,and although He has given us all a free will,loves it when we trust in Him to see us through this life whether it be Jew or Christian.Germany is NOT "a nation of murderers."In Judeism to say that, is LASHON HARA and a sin.

(55)
Tikvah Kruger,
June 13, 2007 1:18 PM

Bracha vehatzlacha

To Michal Batya,I want to wish you much bracha and hatzlacha, blessings and success.

(54)
Consuelo Endara,
June 13, 2007 8:45 AM

Thank you!!!!

Shalom,My name is Consuelo, IÂ´m an Ecuadorian 44 years old woman and I was born in a Catholic family. In fact I had been Catholic for most of my life. When I was 13 I found out about the Shoah and wanted to know more about the Jewish people. I felt so a strange strong connection that I couldnÂ´t explain it not even to myself. That connection grew up stronger as I got older. I didnÂ´t know any Jewish people until 2002 when I met by internet I great friend who was in his way to visit Peru and Ecuador. So we met in my city and we became very good friends. I told him my biggest dream was to go to Israel since I had such a great admiration for the Jewish people and he said he would love to host me there. But for me it was like an impossible dream since it was so expensive and besides that I use a wheelchair, so it was complicated for me to travel. But a lot of special things began to happen in 2005 and finally on April 25th of 2006 I arrived to Israel! My friend took me around all the country and I felt even more in love with the country than I already was, I shared with him and his family Remembrance Day and celebrated Independence day and sang along with then Hatikvah in Hebrew :) And I shared with them a Shabbat dinner. And I canÂ´t explained what I felt. It was like a click inside of me. I came back to Ecuador and continuing reading about Judaism. I hadnÂ´t felt Catholic anymore for many years but I was so confused about my feelings and that need I felt inside to get closer to Judaism. So I prayed to God just in the exact way Batya did. And the answer came. Hash-m put in my way a group to begin to study the Torah and now IÂ´m following the process to make the conversion to Judaism. I know is very difficult, I donÂ´t know when, where or how I would do it, but I pray everyday to Hash-m to lead to it. And I know if it is His will, I would find the way. So I just wanted to share all this with you because I have cried so much reading BatyaÂ´s article since I felt so identify with her feelings. I donÂ´t know the reason I feel the way I do either. ItÂ´s something that has no logic for most of people, maybe even not for me, at least for most of my life. I only know I want to live my life a Jew and follow the Torah. And make the conversion, beezrat Hash-m. So thank you so much for this beautiful story and let me know IÂ´m not alone in this quest for finding the way to go back Home.Sincerely,Consuelo

(53)
Sonia,
June 13, 2007 8:25 AM

Beautiful story!

(52)
Marc Milton_Talbot,
June 13, 2007 3:50 AM

Intelligent choice of religion.

What amazes me is that so many supposedly intelligent people cling to Christianity,with all it's fantastical claims,and thinly veiled polytheism;ie Father,Son,Holy Ghost,Virgin Mary,etc.After all,it started out as a fringe cult of Judaism,only to be given a makeover by St Paul who embued it with his own quasi Hellenistic ideas,after the original [Jewish]adherents were wiped out in the Roman holocaust and the destruction of the Temple in AD70.The difference between the two religions is that the more one delves into Judaism,the more Wisdom one finds.The exact opposite is true of Christianity,where the search for the Truth only results in discovery of historical supression and distortion of the facts,and the murder of who knows how many hundreds of thousands of "heretics" who were only thinking people seeking the Truth.[I am a Gentile,but I love reading the Rabbis'articles here.]

(51)
francisco,
June 13, 2007 1:03 AM

God inspired conversion

this is a very thouching article.i myself sometimes feel the same way.it,s really an honor to become a jew , one of the chosen people.

(50)
Yisrael Strauss,
June 12, 2007 10:48 PM

Midrash Rabbah No Proof for Basya

I must respectfully disagree with Annonymous's interpretation of the Midrash (Vayikrah Rabbah: Aleph Gimmel). That very Midrash quotes the pasuk in Divrei Hayyomim whose transliteration is clearly Bisya (with a chirik). (In fact there is a contemporary pointed version of the Midrah Rabbah that reads "Bisya".) The fact that the Midrash goes on to darshan Bisya as the equivalent of Bas-Kah is irrelevant for two reasons. First of all, midrashim often interpret words according to unpointed text (Yeish eim lemesorah). Secondly, nekudos are often fluid; thus instead of "Ben" for son we have the variation of "Bin" (e.g. Bin Nun, Bin Hakkos Haraha) so "Bis" in Bisya could be a variation of "Bas". The bottom line however is that the only occurrence in Tanach, (as I previously pointed out), which that Midrah quotes, is Bisya.

(49)
Paula,
June 12, 2007 9:27 PM

I admire you

I admire how strong and , at the same time, how sensible you were, the perfect balance to build a life like yours. You are a model for a lot of people. It's so emotional to see how your relation with G'd evolved. Try to write as much as you can, you're really helping some minds. Hugs from Argentina

(48)
vivian mishner,
June 12, 2007 8:44 PM

a very heartwarmng story!!

see above

(47)
Anonymous,
June 12, 2007 8:26 PM

amazing

i wish that i, who was brought up in a frum home, could feel as much connection to judiasm as you do. good luck with everything.

Anonymous,
April 4, 2013 7:17 AM

As an off-the-derech kid that came back again, let me remind you that it's YOUR CHOICE to feel whichever way you like, by working on your THOUGHTS (kinda like brainwashing yourself, which might not sound too nice for some audiences but it's the truth). Continue reading every encouraging thing you find here on Aish & FIGHT YOUR YETZER!

(46)
Anonymous,
June 12, 2007 11:46 AM

Different story from converts I've known.

I've known many converts who were committed to Judaism. I even know some "confused" converts, who keep converting members of their family in a piecemeal fashion more and more religious (first reform, then Conservative, then finally Orthodox).

But none of the converts I've known have encouraged non-Jews to observe the mitzvot nor to consider themselves Jews. Judaism is quite clear on that point: we neither seek nor encourage converts. A non-Jew with some Jewish ethnicity is just that: a non-Jew. To encourage them to observe Jewish mitzvot incumbent on Jews only (such as Shabbat) has no basis at all in Judaism, and in fact might be forbidden (as in the case of Shabbat, for instance).

Very interesting - and disturbing - article. I do feel very deeply for the author, who clearly is suffering a great deal. I hope that G-d grants her a measure of peace.

(45)
Tova,
June 12, 2007 10:55 AM

The Mitzvot of Noach

Hi Michal Batya, That was a beautiful and inspiring story. You are lucky that you found your place in life but should not feel badly about your children and grandchildren. They are not Jewish but that doesn't mean that they are bad people. You should teach them about the 7 laws of Noach because THAT is their obligation, not shabbos and the rest of the 613 mitzvot. If they keep the 7 laws of Noach, they are doing exactly what Hashem wants non-Jews to do. We don't try to convert people in Judaism. In fact, we try to prevent people from converting. If they are so inspired by the way you live your life, maybe they will convert on their own. It is nice that they respect your new life style - you are very lucky because many people get the opposite reaction. Good luck with everything. I'm sure your family will find their own derech, just as you have.

(44)
julie sergel,
June 12, 2007 7:24 AM

I think this is a beautiful story because it is one person's journey. Each one of us has our own journey and must follow as we beleive G-d directs. As we listen to one another we can find similiarities and differences. But, it is in the similiarities that we are united and hte differences pale. I have been drawn to Judaism for a bit over a year. To be led by G-d in such processes really increases faith. It is a most wondrous bloom! To have Jewish soul is a treasure and a responsibility.blessings to all!

(43)
Yaakov Baruch,
June 12, 2007 6:47 AM

wow amazing

Shalom Michal,it was awasome story, my story almost same like you, i was grew up as a Christian boy, but when i was found that my grandma was Dutch-Jewish, i decide back to my roots, i leave all about Christianity and learn more about Judaism from Internet, and choose my hebrew name, because i'm stay in Indonesia, the biggest moslem country in the world, after 2-3 years learn Judaism, i was build a Synagogue in my town, even Judaism its not recognize as a religion in my country, i work underground with help from Israeli friends, and American Jewish friend, now i feel 100% Jew with Chasid style i try to be a good Jew in my country

(42)
michelle,
June 11, 2007 8:32 PM

beautifule story it broght tears to my hart

(41)
SM,
June 11, 2007 2:55 PM

Good Luck To Batya !

This is an amazing story, I wish her much luck! I guess she is staying in Germany in hopes that her grandchildren convert to Judaisim. But a time will probaly come when she should move out of Germany to Israel or some other Jewish community, that will help her with her own yiddishkeit.

SM

(40)
Cheryl,
June 11, 2007 2:34 PM

I just converted...

Thanks so much for sharing this story with me...i'm crying, joyfully! Thanks! I've been studing Judaism for over 8 years, and finally felt "ready" to finish my conversion. This Shabbatt I get to light the candles and pray as a Jew!! I can't wait! Peace and Love, Marium

(39)
Anonymous,
June 11, 2007 2:12 PM

Welcome Home Sister! Torah Source for the name "Basya"

The name Basya is found in the Medrash Vayikra 1:1. Because Bitya (her given name) took Moshe from the Nile and treated him like a son, G-d rewarded her by considering her a righteous daughter of His, and called her "Basya" lit. "daughter of G-d." This is the source for many Jews naming their daughters Basya. From Charedi in the USA

(38)
Anonymous,
June 11, 2007 1:16 PM

Encouraging to convert

I was very deeply touched about this article and dream about converting to judaism. What a marvellous role model Michal Batya Evenari is! Thank you! I plan to travel again to Israel and learn more about the jewish life!

(37)
":Leila,
June 11, 2007 10:27 AM

Kol Hakavod

Yours life story is very inspiring.May Hashem bless you.

(36)
Laura,
June 11, 2007 9:27 AM

Your Faith Journey Is An Amazing One...

Your faith journey is an amazing one, from the time you were little, til now...it has only grown deeper. It takes a lot of courage and strength to let it continue to grow stronger. G-d is happy and proud of you!

(35)
Shmuel,
June 11, 2007 8:55 AM

Amazing story!

What a wonderful article. And as she says from the aish.com article on Dry Cleaning for the Soul: "Every step counts" and if that is so in G-d's eyes, how much more so we should be in awe and rejoice in every step that is taken! Ms. Evenari, you are very special - if only we can take your story to heart and take our own "steps" to reaching our potential! Thank you.

(34)
Myriam,
June 11, 2007 8:51 AM

NOT SIMILAR IN WORD, BUT IN SPIRIT!

I am a convert as well. This story touched me. I thank the author for sharing her intimate feelings. FEEDBACK ABOUT COMMENTS; I am taken aback by some of the negative comments made. True that the children are not Jewish. Do you know that I have had Jews who have converted to Christianity proselytize me. Met them on corners in big cities holding Watchtower Magazines, WOW! We do not know what makes people turn away. But I do know that God works on the hearts of man/woman if soft. I pray that this will be the case with Michal's children. It is important that we as Jews offer support and encouragement instead of criticisim, but for some of us this is our way. These are trying times let us remember the lessons of the past and hold on to God and each other

(33)
r,
June 11, 2007 8:40 AM

tragedy of lost souls

Judaism does not seek nor even encourage converts. But does MOURN when a son marries a non=Jewish woman and he and all his descendants are LOST TO JUDAISM. Think of Eli's mother, who didnt even want to meet with the German volunteer for social work, but in the end lost her son to that same person!!!!The whole story is very strange, esp since not only did she originally try to missionize during her 1st vountary stint on a kibbbutz; then she continued to write & teach for the non-and-anti-Jewish system; and now even after she has finally converted, she's gone back to a town without Jews??? There was recently a story here in Israel of a different giyoress, tzniusdig etc, that was so mixed up that she tried to convince the local rebbetzin, no less, to believe in J -- when confronted, she claimed that at her conversion she said she wanted to undertake mitzvos, but she was never asked if she had stopped believing in J!!!!!!As you can see, one of your writers, who is planning to come to jerusalem to celebrate the batmitzva of his NONJEWISHdaughter, found endorsement for his family setup from your article.this is esp dangerous not only for aiding & abetting the perpetuation of his own misguided lifestyle, but perhaps enhancing their confusion so that the daughter might "strongly identify" with Judaism, & marry a Jew who might not even suspect that she's not really Jewish!!!! Wha do you think you accomplished with promoting such confusion with this article???????????

(32)
Yisrael Strauss,
June 11, 2007 7:50 AM

Egyptian princess's name was "Bitya"

The article said ...Batya, after the Egyptian princess who raised Moses, and whose name means "daughter of G-d."Please note that although nowadays Batya is the popular name given, the only occurrence in Tanach of this princess's name is "Bitya".

(31)
Sonia,
June 11, 2007 7:40 AM

Not impressed - children and grandchildren not Jewish

At age 72 the most productive years are over. Meanwhile, a son of Israel moves to Germany, the language he hears all the time is German, and most importantly his sons and grandchildren instead of Jews - become Germans!

Crying? Yes. For the family of Eli he left in Israel without their son.

(30)
Sonia,
June 11, 2007 7:40 AM

Not impressed - children and grandchildren not Jewish

Upon reading the response comments, I understand the value in the author's story serving as an important inspiration to others. Perhaps that is the greater Mitzvah.

(29)
raye,
June 11, 2007 7:11 AM

"A Rose by any other name"

Michal Batya was fortunate to have had parents who were not hypnotized by Hitler. I think the reason that some of the writers are not convinced by Michal's story is that they themselves are not convinced that Torah is the way to go. Also, it might shock some people when I say that here in Israel I have come across Jewish Nazis who are in the professions.

(28)
Susan Rubinstein,
June 11, 2007 6:46 AM

It is harder for a man to convert, yet I know one who was discouraged by a reform rabbi and is now going to convert by orthodox rabbi

My boyfriend told me he has wanted to be jewish since he was alittle boy forced to go to Catholic School. When he studied what he referred to as the "old testament" he realized that the new testament was man made and not the truth. He is now going to go to a Conversion Center in NJ and become jewish. His mother is Italian, father Irish, both devout catholics, but he always felt not connected and couldn't pray to Jesus or Mary as his fellow catholics did. He keeps kosher now and wants to wear a yalmulke everyday. I have refused his marriage proposal but he is still wanting to convert. He is telling me to be more observant now, and I believe this man was born with a jewish soul as well.

(27)
Masha,
June 11, 2007 6:12 AM

Kassel

A very moving story, my Grandfather was born in Kassel and came with his parents to South Africa in early 1900's. Who knows perhaps our grandparents knew each other, you never what influences people have on you in life. Today our family is frum, we have bli ayin hora more than five frum grandchildren and I thank G-d my great granparents left Germany when they did. We will celebrate our son's wedding in Jerusalem on Rosh Chodesh

(26)
Anonymous,
June 11, 2007 3:11 AM

More common than one might think?

Fascinating story, but I wonder how many similar ones are out there? My wife is gentile, although she was never enthusiastic about any Christian stuff. I've noticed how she enjoys the Jewish traditions we practice in our home. We're far from Orthodox, but my wife gets exposed to plenty. Slowly she has grown closer to Judaism. In 2 years we're going on a family trip to Israel for our older daughter's bat-mitzvah. I'll be curious to see how my wife responds. To tell the truth, I wouldn't be surprised if, out of the blue, she said she wanted to convert (I've never asked her to convert, but from the start she agreed to my condition that our kids be raised Jewish). I like the fact that Judaism doesn't prosyletize, but many people come to us anyway. I feel fortunate to be Jewish, despite the centuries of suffering throughout our history.

(25)
Yoshe Revelle,
June 11, 2007 2:21 AM

(: Todah Rabah (much thanks)

I am in the process of converting. I shed many tears in reading this story, tears of recognition. Many thanks to you for your courage Michal. :)

(24)
adele shapiro,
June 11, 2007 2:20 AM

totally unconvincing

why did they not see to it that their children were brought up in a jewish home - too late ! I have no sympathy !why go back to Germany ???? I will never understand that !

(23)
don muntean,
June 11, 2007 2:18 AM

Wonderful and inspiring...

This article has inspired me to press on with my own desires for conversion.

It is heartening to see such determination!

May God Bless Batya and may her prayers be answered - her efforts shall not end with her - her devotion 'shall' continue in her son and beyond!

(22)
Sandra Hepner,
June 11, 2007 12:28 AM

Wonderful, and sad, and hopeful...

How we all go through trials. some more than othersa... I think it is wonderful that Batyas son is showing some interest in Judaism... and Batya... you are just wonderful in your journey of the soul...and your commitment...

(21)
Anonymous,
June 10, 2007 11:18 PM

I am not a Jew nor of any religion. Still, when I am priveleged to hear prayers in Hebrew, every hair stands on end, I feel electric and touched in a way that I can't explain. Thanks for your story-this path is calling me,slowly but surely. Shalom

(20)
Beth,
June 10, 2007 7:23 PM

So touching and beautiful.

I was so moved by your story, I got goosebumps. It was beautiful. Often when I read about things or experience them, I get angry and feel a certain amount of guilt. You were able to channel that feeling and do something meaningful, spiritual, and constructive. Thank you for sharing your story.

(19)
thea Friedman,
June 10, 2007 6:19 PM

Is this the Year that it is fashionable to be a Jew ?

AS a Holocust survivor and being about the same age ( born 1932 ) I read this article with much deprevation .Why did they return to Germany? Her children were not raised in the Jewish faith. regardles as Orthodox , Reform or Conservative . Her husband's background leaves me to wonder how he felt about her going back to teach catholism , and write Christian childrens Bible Stories ? Too extreme for my taste. A little bit too late to finally become a pious jew.

(18)
will,
June 10, 2007 6:11 PM

Germans who have converted to Judaism after the Shoah

My cousin who is a holocaust survivor met and married a wonderful German man who converted to Judaism on his own at the age of 13 after the holocaust. I wonder how many young people in germany did the same at that time? Whether Jewish souls of the murdered Jews entered these people or they were acting out of Tshuvah for the deeds of the older generation, I wonder how often this happened. If anyone knows of people in this category, please contact me. I would like to contact them.

Will

(17)
Beth,
June 10, 2007 4:01 PM

your story needs to be retold repeatedly

Thank you for sharing your story. I cried, it touched me so very deeply. Your story is one that everyone, Jewish or ger, can benefit and learn from. Your story shows how involved in our life HaShem is, with those that reach out to Him searching for truth. You are a genuine and beautiful person. Thank you again, for sharing your story.

(16)
Carole (Chana) Binder,
June 10, 2007 2:56 PM

Conversion

I was born Jewish in Boston, MA in 1938. My Husband Henry was born Christian (Methodist) in Hungary in 1934. When he was 12 years old he and his parents, his brother and two sisters were made to leave their meager home due to Communism. His father was nearly beaten to death by SS Troopers because he would not divulge the names of the Jewish families in their town. The whole family was put in a cattle car with 27 other people for a month.They were ultimately sent to the American sector in Germany just before they were going to be sent to a concentration camp. When he was 15 the whole family was sponsored by his father's brother to come to the United States.His father is now acknowledged as a Righteous Gentile in our Holocaust Center. Henry, after wanting to be Jewish for many, many years is starting classes in September. I apologize that this is so chopped up but, like you, his story is very long and extremely involved but again, like you, he is a true Jewish soul. I have printed your article for him to read. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

(15)
STANLEY N. SCHWARTZ,
June 10, 2007 2:31 PM

EXCELLENT ARTICLE - SEND MORE

(14)
sharon,
June 10, 2007 2:12 PM

wow

This article has moved me to tears. Your life journey to Judaism is one the most inspiring things I have ever read. Kol hakavod to you, and welcome to my people.

(13)
Chaim Arnstein,
June 10, 2007 2:12 PM

An Amazing, Touching Story

Hashem should grant you, Batya, real Jewish nachas, and that yours and yours husbands should give be all shomrei Torah u'Mitzvos. Your efforts and your tears are not for naught.

(12)
Yitz Greenman,
June 10, 2007 2:06 PM

VERY MOVING

this is a most unique story of a woman who did not give up in her search for meaning. i find it very inspiring. i am sure that she'd be a great speaker. thank you for sharing your story with us.

(11)
Anonymous,
June 10, 2007 1:13 PM

Mishpacha Article

In one of the latest Mishpacha Magazines was an article about another German convert who lives by now in Jerusalem and apart from that the article mentioned that most German Converts live in Israel. Being a part of this group I have to say, that it is not easy to be part of the Israeli society that often rejects "us" and that it is even more difficult to admit the convert-status so openly. Congrats on your speedy guir and good luck with the kids.

(10)
Dena,
June 10, 2007 1:01 PM

Very Moving

Thank you for a very moving article.

(9)
Anonymous,
June 10, 2007 11:48 AM

The Children Are the Future

Thank you for this wonderfully inspiring article. I am in the process of converting to Judaism in Jerusalem and I begin each day asking Ha_shem to give me the strength and courage I will need to climb this metaphorical mountain (the mountain that my soul needs to climb in order to grow and learn everything it needs to know). I know the Torah is in my heart and I feel that my soul is with the Jewish people, but the process of getting there is really not easy for me. I am away from my family and friends and always have this feeling of not quite being at the top of the mountain yet. I climb and I climb, but I can't quite reach the top, to see the view and see what all the other Jewish people see. I hope and I pray that Ha_shem will continue to give me the strength and the courage to keep climbing...but after reading your article I am reminded that this is not just for me, but for my future children. It is for their future little souls that deserve to be born already at the top of the mountain, where they may truly appreciate a rainbow and the smell of flowers as they say brochas to show their appreciation to Ha_shem. Thank you.

(8)
heide,
June 10, 2007 11:41 AM

michael batya

After coming back from Israel my life changed, I was a believer in jesus and also an evangelist. My husband is a non practice christian and I truly believe my soul was searching for G-ds truth. My parents where Germans and I was born in 1943 in Linz Austria.After a long search i came to the conlusion that there is only one G-d not three and not three in one. There where times when I would do my research till 2:00 -3:00 am in the morning on my computer and search scriptures in Our Holy Book.Cried out to Hashem than I only wanted to know his truth and serve him. I became Jewish on the 26 Adar II 5763 my Hebrew name is Na-omi Mir-yam bat Avraham v'Sarah I love my Judaism and i'm SO GREATFUL TO HASHEM THAT MY EYES WHERE OPENED TO HIS TRUTH. My Rabbi said I most had a jewish soul which was on Mount Sinai when we received the Torah, I believe this.Also my Husband respect my believe and is very supportive of my faith.

(7)
Rae Stevens,
June 10, 2007 11:16 AM

I TOO DISCOVERED MY JEWISH SOUL AT AGE 60

My mother died at my birth. My father had a previous wife and two other daughters already. I was adopted and grew up agnostic. I had read the beginnings of the Christian Bible and did not have a desire to read any more. I searched for a Priest upon a young friends unfortunate demise for comfort, he could not offer me any solace. I married a violent person, had a daughter, got divorced. I put myself through college and then my daughter. One of my college mentors suggested I take my daughter to religious services of some kind. I told this friend I could not find one I could accept! At the age of 55 I met the first Jew I had ever seen. He was my doctor. He never acknowledged he was from Israel or that he was a Jew. But it was obvious to me he was and I watched over a period of two or three years his total behaviour. I could tell he had been raised with intelligence, care, concern, self-confidence and humility. I could see his innocence since I had been raised as a "heathen" or "pagan", with no values or goals. I started reading about Judaism. It was at first beautiful, then it became confusing, Ultra Orthadox, Reform, everything in between? I announced to several friends what a beautiful joy I had discovered, everything about it was so good! To my dismay, I as informed that Christianity was the real thing and that Jews could not be trusted or depended upon! I knew they were wrong. I have now finished reading the Tanack and found it to be a real page turner! I loved it all, even so much that I could not really comprehend or understand. I knew I could depend on it. My favorite writings are those of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. It is all so wise, down to earth, and honest, there are many times when the Jews are not well represented, but the story is told, for the truth is there in the telling. I do not know if I hope to attend Synagogue soon, but the important thing is that I now know what I know! I have had much stress and distress in my life and after a few days of saying Shema Yisrael and the Traveler's Prayer I almost immediately started feeling much better, more relaxed and able to appreciate my blessings rather than those things that had cursed me. It has given me new life! This I could not find from any other source. I felt the Traveler's Prayer was so appropriate for me, because my life, like that of many, has been spent wandering and traveling and being hurt. Now I know love mercy and kindness and experience love for the first time for Hashem! I love Israel!

(6)
Anonymous,
June 10, 2007 10:25 AM

Best Wishes!

May your sincerity be the catalyst for your descendants to follow in your footsteps!

(5)
Gary Maynor,
June 10, 2007 10:08 AM

I WAS DEEPLY MOVED...

As one who has Jewish parents but was raised in a Christian home, your story gave me encouragement to think more into converting also. Blessings .May HASHEM guide you and yours always.

Ayelet,
March 25, 2012 5:34 PM

no need to convert. You're as Jewish as can be if your mother was Jewish.

(4)
Bernadette Schaepdryver,
June 10, 2007 9:30 AM

Yes, a very moving story. So full of hope for all those who could find themselves living in a simular situation.

After reading this most beautiful story, a very courageous endeavor, I myself wanted to take the very first flight to Eretz Yisrael if I could. But of course, I still have to settle with the reality of the day in that such a decision is something that you can't take overnight, as it's something very expensive, even for just only one week. Anyhow, the hope never faints, and that's what's most important, knowing that one day perhaps, if G-d willing.

Only, I wonder what could maybe be my greatest fear as I have never flown in an airplane. Well, they say in such circumstances: Don't think, but just do, and normally everything will end up just fine. Of course, it's easier said than done. And a prophet at hand would be nice too.

Well, I never could have guessed that something worldly would be a greater problem than keeping myself closely to G-d, and study Torah. For most others, it's the other way around sadly enough.

(3)
Anonymous,
June 10, 2007 7:57 AM

The young don't always know what they are doing.

I was deeply moved by your story. I am the child of survivors, and feel that you are a true Jewish soul, who stood at Sinai with us. One of my relatives married a woman who is Catholic. I feel that neither of them fully understood the implications of what their mixed-religion marriage means. They are expecting their first child, who will not be considered Jewish except perhaps in the Reformed Jewish community. I hope and pray that she converts to Judaism, and that he strengthens his understanding and commitment to Judaism and that their children will be Jewish, too. You have shown that living a Jewish life speaks louder than words, as a good example for your relatives to follow. The feeling of a Jewish home on Shabbat and the holidays has a profound influence on people. One sets a good example by not gossiping, not speaking badly of others, by speaking well of others, by giving charity, by helping the sick, by moral behavior in dating and marriage, by singing the Jewish songs, by these and other ways one shows what a torah and saintly way of life means to those who need guidance to a meaningful life.

I know a lady whose first husband was Jewish, but the marriage did not work. Her second husband was not Jewish, but her children were more grown and already Jewish. After 25 years of marriage, her second husband converted to Judaism. He had always been supportive of his wife's Judaism, and was involved in a positive way with her Jewish activies and observances. I think this can give others hope that conversion to Judaism can happen, especially if the Jewish person leads by holy example, as you are doing. I pray that your children and grandchildren convert to Judaism soon. Blessings to you for your courage and honesty.

(2)
Bebe,
June 10, 2007 6:47 AM

Thank you

This is so beautiful; it brought tears to my eyes and truly touched me deeply.

(1)
Anonymous,
June 10, 2007 6:41 AM

Welcome Sister

Michal, I am the daughter of Holocaust survivers. I am happy to call you my holy Jewish sister. There is always a chance the you will have Jewish descendents. Take care.

I just got married and have an important question: Can we eat rice on Passover? My wife grew up eating it, and I did not. Is this just a matter of family tradition?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chametz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chametz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. Chametz is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Hence the category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chametz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

Products of kitniyot often appear like chametz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chametz). Also, chametz grains may become inadvertently mixed together with kitniyot. Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot were prohibited.

In Jewish law, there is one important distinction between chametz and kitniyot. During Passover, it is forbidden to even have chametz in one's possession (hence the custom of "selling chametz"). Whereas it is permitted to own kitniyot during Passover and even to use it - not for eating - but for things like baby powder which contains cornstarch. Similarly, someone who is sick is allowed to take medicine containing kitniyot.

What about derivatives of kitniyot - e.g. corn oil, peanut oil, etc? This is a difference of opinion. Many will use kitniyot-based oils on Passover, while others are strict and only use olive or walnut oil.

Finally, there is one product called "quinoa" (pronounced "ken-wah" or "kin-o-ah") that is permitted on Passover even for Ashkenazim. Although it resembles a grain, it is technically a grass, and was never included in the prohibition against kitniyot. It is prepared like rice and has a very high protein content. (It's excellent in "cholent" stew!) In the United States and elsewhere, mainstream kosher supervision agencies certify it "Kosher for Passover" -- look for the label.

Interestingly, the Sefardi Jewish community does not have a prohibition against kitniyot. This creates the strange situation, for example, where one family could be eating rice on Passover - when their neighbors will not. So am I going to guess here that you are Ashkenazi and your wife is Sefardi. Am I right?

Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Moses ben Nachman (1194-1270), known as Nachmanides, and by the acronym of his name, Ramban. Born in Spain, he was a physician by trade, but was best-known for authoring brilliant commentaries on the Bible, Talmud, and philosophy. In 1263, King James of Spain authorized a disputation (religious debate) between Nachmanides and a Jewish convert to Christianity, Pablo Christiani. Nachmanides reluctantly agreed to take part, only after being assured by the king that he would have full freedom of expression. Nachmanides won the debate, which earned the king's respect and a prize of 300 gold coins. But this incensed the Church: Nachmanides was charged with blasphemy and he was forced to flee Spain. So at age 72, Nachmanides moved to Jerusalem. He was struck by the desolation in the Holy City -- there were so few Jews that he could not even find a minyan to pray. Nachmanides immediately set about rebuilding the Jewish community. The Ramban Synagogue stands today in Jerusalem's Old City, a living testimony to his efforts.

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

It is the nature of a person to be influenced by his fellows and comrades (Rambam, Hil. De'os 6:1).

We can never escape the influence of our environment. Our life-style impacts upon us and, as if by osmosis, penetrates our skin and becomes part of us.

Our environment today is thoroughly computerized. Computer intelligence is no longer a science-fiction fantasy, but an everyday occurrence. Some computers can even carry out complete interviews. The computer asks questions, receives answers, interprets these answers, and uses its newly acquired information to ask new questions.

Still, while computers may be able to think, they cannot feel. The uniqueness of human beings is therefore no longer in their intellect, but in their emotions.

We must be extremely careful not to allow ourselves to become human computers that are devoid of feelings. Our culture is in danger of losing this essential aspect of humanity, remaining only with intellect. Because we communicate so much with unfeeling computers, we are in danger of becoming disconnected from our own feelings and oblivious to the feelings of others.

As we check in at our jobs, and the computer on our desk greets us with, "Good morning, Mr. Smith. Today is Wednesday, and here is the agenda for today," let us remember that this machine may indeed be brilliant, but it cannot laugh or cry. It cannot be happy if we succeed, or sad if we fail.

Today I shall...

try to remain a human being in every way - by keeping in touch with my own feelings and being sensitive to the feelings of others.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...