Journey to Marriage 4 - Good Riddance?

Monday, September 5, 2016

Guys, first of all, I want to say thank you all for your comments. I respond to every single one of them. I'm thinking I should make this series twice a week. It is coming on so slowly. If I continue at this rate, I would still be writing the preliminary part when I am getting married later this year.

From the day after we met for the first time, and the tribal sentiments vapourised from my mind, something set into my mind. Even though I had no feelings whatsoever for him, there was something else present.

CURIOSITY

I have never been curious about anyone in my life as I became curious about this guy. I wanted to know who he was, what he does, etc. Maybe my curiosity was fuelled because Berry never told me anything. I was blind before the meetup, and after the meetup, I was still blind.

The next day, my pastor’s wife, who is very close to me, asked how the date went. I said it was just there. She began to ask questions about the guy, and I couldn’t answer a single one. All I knew was his first name and phone number. She then asked when I was going to call him, I said “Never!” I began to protest. I can’t call a guy o. abeg, I don’t want anyone to think I am desperate. She asked me to call him since he had called the previous night… at least, to show myself friendly.

After church, I begged Berry to give me details about him. She finally gave me his surname, age, occupation, and church. She said that was all she could give me, and I should go and relate with him myself to know him better. She was being mean strict, and wasn’t going to fuel my laziness. She also asked me to call. Once again, I protested.

I chatted my sister up, and asked the strangest question… even to me.

You see… from the chats, I was so convinced that I would get married this year, even though I did not know the person. I was telling every single person I met. I was so sure. You see how my sister looked when I said I would meet, court, and marry in a year? I don’t blame her. Two weeks before then, I would have done the same.

In the chat, I referred to him as igbo, but in reality, I wouldn’t find out his tribe or the complications around it until much later. I only deduced Igbo from the surname Berry gave me. And forget the age thing. I wasn't 35 yet, as pointed out. Heck, I wasn't even 30 yet. We just feel parents begin to relax their rules when their kids get older, and we didn't want that to be my case.

Anyway, when curiosity got the best of me, I told Berry I was going to send him a whatsapp message instead to ask how his Sunday went (Berry’s idea). I still felt a call would make me seem too desperate.

So I chatted this guy up on Sunday evening. There was nothing fantastic about it. A bit of random politeness here and there, with like 5 to 15 minutes break in between some lines. He obviously wasn’t glued to his phone like I was. If he was, he wasn’t showing it. (Problem number 1).

Late into the night, the chat was going well, he asked about my routine, and said we would continue the next day, since we needed to go to bed.

I was sad, but the next day was just going to be 7 hours away

…or so I thought.

The next day, I expected to wake up to his chat…

Nothing… (problem number 2)

All through the morning… nothing

Afternoon… nothing

Night… nothing

By this time, my CURIOSITY had gone into overdrive. It was a mixture of annoyance and curiosity. I mean, how would someone say they would do something, and not even do it. Why say you would chat me up, and then act like I don’t exist? Am I supposed to be chasing him? God forbid. Do you know how many guys are on my case

Puhleaaasseee… don’t even tell me something might have wrong with him. This guy was very alright. At least, he was active on whatsapp most of the day.Yes… I monitored him on whatsapp. Please, don’t look at me like that, you would do the same to, lol.

Day 2
Morning… nothing

Afternoon… nothing

By this time, my mind was playing tricks on me. Had I appeared too desperate? What did I say wrong? Was the spirit of rejection all over me?

Who does he even think he is? Doesn’t he know I am the daughter of a king? How can he not keep to his words? I better get rid of this guy from my mind. He reminds me of Yemi, who is just a heartbreaker.

Night… nothing

Day 3
Morning… nothing

Afternoon…

I didn’t even wait for afternoon

I went to my whatsapp, went to my call log…

DELETE DELETE DELETE

What nonsense. This guy is bad news. I need to protect my heart. I don’t deal with guys without integrity.

Good riddance to bad rubbish!

What do you guys think? Was I too rash in my actions? What would you have done in my case? Initiated another chat, even though you were the one who initiated the previous chat?

30 comments

Ah AH now. Suspense!! You should totally make it twice a week oh. To be honest, I could be rash or not rash. Just depends. I could have deleted it or sent another message especially as I can be paranoid and thinking 'what if something happened to him'. Lol. SO I'll have been like 'Hey, no word from you. Just checking that you're not kidnapped'. Lol!

ha! impatience!!!!!! It's like you were being over expectant oh! I'm sure the guy too wouldn't want to come off as being too desperate which to me is a huge turn-off. So i don't blame him for taking his sweet time, lol! It's funny how parents tend to relax their rules when you get older.

LOL! But I'm reading this and I can see myself; holding onto the phone waiting for a message. Oh well, I guess thats changing though. This was a great read...please make it twice a week. Just like Annette said I'm here like: oh the juice! :)

I am soooo in support of a twice weekly post!! Every day would even be better!I would probably be a bit like Kachee if I liked the guy - my body shakes too much to just sit still.. LolYou did well though... (including the monitoring part) - I would certainly have done that! HahahaPS Hope he is reading this as well..

Thanks so much for this.. I am entertained, encouraged, enlightened and everything in between! xxxx

Hmmm! I think your rashness was not totally out of place. I think that you reacted that way because you were starting to like him a bit. And you over thought things a bit. If you weren't intrigued you wouldn't have cared if he called or replied your message or not or wondered why he didn't .He probably would have called and you will be like " who are you again" lol.

As much as i enjoy reading about your journey every Monday, i am definitely in support of more frequent posting as your schedule allows of course (see, that was me being nice to help butter you up for more posts lol. a week is too long to be on pins and needles)

I am laughing out loud at your dilemma of refusing to call him yet you were asking Berry for some info on him. :D :D This is the situation our society and culture put the female folk in. We can't even chat up a guy without appearing desperate yet we are expected to be friendly at the same time. O di egwu really!

Wait, wait, wait ... you deleted all his numbers because of that one stretch of no communication??? hahaha Was that how into him you were already? What I would do? I will not go to the extent of deleting his numbers but I would see him as unserious, even a liar. At least his "tomorrow" should have been tomorrow. I will not initiate another chat o. I believe in being pursued by the man. Yes, I love that aspect of our culture. And when he eventually chats me up, I will keep him hanging for twice the amount of time he kept me hanging. LOL

HahahahahahahaThis is so me! I surely would have monitored his availability online too! I may have deleted chat log too, cos I wouldn't want to see that will silently fuming at been forgotten. You know curiosity come a certain likeness...that's what had started happening. Pls three times a week Oh. Thanks so much for sharing this beautiful story.

Lol @ is the spirit of rejection all over me?? Hahahahhaha. Nne I've monitored a guy like that before, I did exactly what you did... DELETE and have peace since he won't talk to me.. *I cannot come and go and be looking desperate* lolBut what is yours is yours... delete or no delete. LolI enjoyed reading this!

Lool, I like Berry's rules and how she didn't reveal too much.I love how confident you were in your faith to say that God had prepared both of you for each other.I'm amazed at how you kept on pronouncing you were going to get married even though you weren't sure.I wonder why he didn't chat you up, I might have sent a sarcastic message.