The ones I come up with are:
- send her back (would she have to live with your dad?)
- have her move out to a small place nearby where she can still help with childcare but she won't be living with you
- help her get a job so she can become independent
- the two of you come up with household rules so that neither of you get angry

Do you think she'd be willing to go see a counselor? Honestly, she sounds like she's a little lost. She may be trying to control you in an effort to still feel needed and useful. Those are her issues to work through, but in the meantime she is hurting your relationship with her.