Sunday

A Polite Reminder...

Hi MPP! I am a huge follower of ISYN, as is a group of nanny friends I have. There are about 12 of us that have been working in close by wealthy neighborhoods, our youngest of the group is 21 with her first nanny job, our oldest is 54 and a career nanny. We have been going out together Friday nights to a wine and dessert bar in our area for about a year now, just having fun with people who we relate so well to.

Anyway, we all read ISYN, have read years and years back if we get bored and there aren't any new submissions, I think it's safe to say we've read a least 3/4 of the entire ISYN blog from the beginning to current. I want to tell you that I think your blog is wonderful (we all do) and a really great tool. BUT none of us have EVER wanted to post P&O, bad sighting, good sightings, or anything. This has to do with your followers, most of the people that reply to P&O, good sightings, ect.. are hateful in their reply. Maybe 1/3 actually give decent advice, the rest just use it to their advantage to either brag about a situation similar that they handled, scorn to OP without giving any kind of helpful advice, and basically just act like an ass. Some of the posters deserve that, I recently read one where the soon to be step mom wanted to fire the beloved nanny. That situation deserves the posters to be jerky, but for the ones like the new mom who was creeped out by nanny showing up at the park all the time, calling all the time and such, she CLEARLY wanted to get advice! She didn't say that she was going to fire the nanny definitely or anything, she just wanted advice from more experienced people on how to handle it. She got so much unnecessary and unhelpful comments from posters.

I use those two as examples only because I just was browsing around and read them, most of them are like that (with the OP wanting advice and just getting jerky responses) anyway I just wanted to let you know that if a group of 12 nannies would never post on the site (regardless of how much we love it being there as a resource)... how many other people follow you but won't partake in the blog because of unkind and extremely rude posters? It's one thing to be blunt, but be mean and rude to someone just looking for a little guidance or just wanting to do their part by keeping an eye on good/bad nannies, is a little bit ridiculous. Have a wonderful day!!

23 comments:

Equally Sick Of The Mean Girls
said...

I absolutely agree! I'm a career nanny who has followed this site for a few years now, daily, without fail (multiple times a day if I must be honest, as much as my husband complains haha)... and only recently did I start commenting on other people's threads... There is definitely a group of "mean girls" here, and they need to realize that this forum isn't JUST FOR THEM, and that by chasing away other nannies, they lose the benefit of another opinion (not that I think they want it or anything....) I'm not asking for Kumbaya and hugging, but people could be a bit more tactful in their delivery...

I pretty much ignore the mean girls. That seems to be the best policy online and in real life. Some of the people who post just seem really unprofessional, so their opinions don't matter to me. Some people go online just to tear others down, that is going to happen on any blog. Just ignore them and don't respond to their negativity.

I love the fact that I never see racist or homophobic comments on here. That makes it worth dealing with a few mean girls.

Sounds like you have a great group of nannies! I am sorry to hear that some of the people here have scared you away. I really hope you will all post some of your stories, and forget about the mean girls. Sticks and stones...you know.

Don't let the possibility that someone might be mean stop you from posting. The internet fosters crummy behavior in some people. You have the choice of avoiding interaction with everyone or of just ignoring those you consider to be jerks.

I hope you'll all start to post - I happen to enjoy a lively discussion, and the more opinions there are, the livelier things can be.

How sad that you and your fellow Nanny friends are too scared to post based on other's being mean to you.

Go ahead and post. Do not be intimidated by the cowards on here who have nothing better to do with their time than bash the OPs. We would love to hear your stories and would love to advise you if you have any Nanny issues. Chances are, we are all going through the same thing as well.

I think it is best to just ignore the haters. Let them continue drinking their "Haterade" and focus on the helpful and informative responses. Please don't let a few bad apples spoil it for everyone else.

It's not just ISYN, the Internet in general is full of cowards who are mean and nasty online but wouldn't dream of saying those things in "real life". Just ignore them, pipe in with your positive and helpful comments, and don't feed into any of their drama. You shouldn't be afraid to post, I'm sure a lot of readers would appreciate what you or anyone has to say.

Oh my, I bet I know who you're talking about, and some of them are not nannies neither moms... just saying...But I do agree that some people online act as if they were the wisest, intelligent people you could run into, talking a bunch of crap and it turns out they would never even dream of saying crap like that in your face.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this! I was skeptical and nervous to post on here for that same reason. One day I finally just decides to post something and what do you know? It turned into a 40-something comment thread having NOTHING useful to say about my original post. Some girls/women on here really have nothing better to do than find something wrong with everyone but themselves on here. I hope they are getting the hint.

Call me weird, but I sometimes like it when things get off topic. Not all the time, but sometimes it makes the original post more interesting.

For example, one question was about if it was standard to ask a Nanny not to wear make-up to work? Well, people started talking about why women even wear make-up in the first place and the thread got some very interesting perspectives.

Hey everyone, OP here, thanks for all the positive support! I do want to clarify one thing, none of us are 'scared' to post. It's all anonymous after all, so there is no fear in posting. It's just the pure annoyance of having 25 out of 40 comments in a thread be negative and absolutely of no help. We, luckily, have a group of us to help and bounce ideas off of. A lot of nannies don't have that. If someone leaves a bad sighting post they are almost guaranteed to be criticized for having too much detail, not enough, watching too long, not watching long enough, over reacting, not reacting, etc. think how many bad sightings have probably been ignored by followers of this sight for the simple fact of they don't want to deal with 25+ comments of how they 'sighted' the wrong way. And can you blame them? If you aren't helping, then you're part of the problem. I just wish some of the people on this site would either learn how to phrase their criticism so they delver it in a helpful and effective way, or unplugged their keyboard and let the people that actually want to be helpful take control.

Arbonne, I completely agree. When the topic changes and other issues arise, it can be fun to get other opinions and debate about different issues. If I was to post that my charge doesn't like his burger and the thread somehow ended up with people listing statistics of the number of meat products consumed in America, or the health benifits/risks of being a vegetarian, then by all means go off on all the tangens possible. I'm just not okay with a person replying to a post and bringing nothing but negativity into the conversation. Again all, thank you so much it's nice to know how you all handle the immaturity of some on this website!

people get mean when an opinion other than the most popular one is expressed. Ignorance and naivety do play a huge role in that. I've been abused on this site for years. But you can't be afraid of people. You can either ignore them or stick up for yourself. Either way, they can't climb through the computer and get you. If you have an opinion and you feel that you want to express it go ahead. The world is full of different opinions. If everyone thought the same thing it would be a very boring place.

Thank you for your support, Phoenix! As I stated earlier, being afraid isn't the issue. Just not wanting to deal with all the negativity is where the idea and simply declining to post derived from. I believe that regardless if how varied opinions may be, if you are completely on one side of the spectrum with someone else on the other, you can ALWAYS express your opinion in a polite way.

I really do hope that you begin to add comments. A fresh set of ideas is always welcome, in my opinion. If you feel that you have something that would seriously help the poster or have gone through something similar and would like to share the outcome that would be great.

A few people don't like it that I come to this site because I don't have a nanny, nor am I a biological mother because I can't have children. I think being a step-mom counts as raising a child. But whatever. Anyway the point is that even though i may not be able to give my thoughts as a personal view nanny wise. i hope that i can help people in other ways. I know business and i know how most employers think of people they hire to be in their homes. I've been around children my entire life and I do know how to raise them. So just because you think that you don't want to have anyone retaliate against you for your comments. Take into consideration that your opinion may help the OP. Who is the only one who can decide which opinion they like best. the more people we get on here commenting the better it is for the OP. That is what I think though

I really hope you will post on ISYN. The fact that there are so many negative posts makes me appreciate even more the real posts from real nannies exchanging stories or asking advice.

I love the premise of ISYN, and I have greatly enjoyed the benefits. So many times I have had a problem and someone on here is going through the exact same thing. I just skip over the nasty comments and thoroughly enjoy the constructive ones. The nannies who behave like professionals are not going to tear you down.

"I love the fact that I never see racist or homophobic comments on here. That makes it worth dealing with a few mean girls."

I totally agree. I get furious over homophobia, racism, anti-semitism, prejudice of any kind. However, when girls get all catty and start insulting people just for fun, I don't listen. They are clearly getting some sort of thrill from trying to tear people down, and it just makes me pity them. Their opinions cease to have any meaning for me.

the reason there are no racial, homophobic comments is because MPP deletes them. She is very diligent in that manner to keep the blog clean but some things should just not be said. I haven't read even half the nasty comments made to me because they were deleted before I got the chance

What other advice would you give to someone who is being paid less than minimum wage, under the table, with a laundry list of duties, not getting any PTO, and sometimes being verbally abused by the MB or DB? A lot of these situations boil down to the OP needing to find a new job. Nobody deserves to be stuck in some of these miserable "jobs". I think some of the posters know deep down inside that they need to quit, but come here for affirmation.

MPP, I want to thank you again because I have never ever seen a homophobic comment on this site. It is wonderful to not have to deal with homophobia here. I also love this site, I have never found so much great nanny advice!

EVERYWHERE on the internet has a set of trolls. It's impossible to weed out. I don't no why you would be intimidated, they're just blank faces behind a computer and so are you. So who cares what they have to say. It's never going to end as long as the user's have the ability to choose ''annoymous'' before they type. Your whole batch of nannies are WAY to sensitive that not even one of you's will post. And for what? To give the negative people the satisfaction of knowing that there tatics are working and they are making people feel bad to the point that they are nervous to post a sighting or opinion. It takes a village and if the trolls can hide and hate then the others can show themselfs and debate and opinionate (lol sounds like i'm Rhyming now)

If you've ever posted anything and got bashed for it and and are feeling down, don't, you did nothing wrong, it's not you it's the insecure people who nitpick and bash to try and get others to feel down to they can feel better about there lonely bitter selfs.

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