As I was walking home from the metro station a few nights ago, a man passes me in his car, and does a double-take. I don't think much of it, and continue on my way. I saw him park his car, and then he got out and ran up to me. He said I was so beautiful, so I said thanks. (Didn't know what to say/do. Nothing? Smile?)

He noticed my accent and right away starts in on the where are you from -America. Oh I was in New york several years ago for three months... blah blah blah.He says I must give him my cellphone number, we must go have a drink together.I tell him I am married.That doesn't matter, love isn't guaranteed, things can change, etc.I try to continue on my way but he grabs me and starts doing the bises..I still try to get away and he is following me.I finally say I will take his number (to try and end the conversation) but don't have a pen. He then says to put his number in my cellphone, and when I take it out he takes the phone from me and enters his number and then calls himself so that he has my number.He told me his name and that he is Italian-Spanish. In his thirties I would say. He says that I must be about 23.I tell him my husband is very jealous and protective of me.He says that any man would be with me.He keeps grabbing me and kissing me on the cheeks (but trying for the mouth) but then finally leaves, saying that he didn't even lock his car.

Yikes.The next two days, all day long, text messages and voice messages from him.A sampling (spelling and grammer reproduced as-received.) :

(and the last, after I finally sent a message telling him to stop communicating with me, that I wasn't interested)

Tempie pour toi________________Nothing since, so I am hoping it is over.If he calls again, I'll let Alain answer the phone and give him what-for. That should do the trick.

I don't think he knows where I live (though the general neighborhood), and I don't think he knows my last name. But I will be keeping my eye out for him nevertheless.

Geez 'o flip.

It just illustrates to me how much it is ingrained that one shouldn't make a scene, and not to say an outright "No, I'm not going to give you my number, get away from me." for fear/risk of 'disappointing' him, appearing 8itchy/rude/cold/stuck-up/arrogant, to the point where the man is grabbing you and pressing himself against you. Bleh

Guess I learned a few lessons:1) Don't engage in conversation;2) Don't let a man take your cellphone and enter his number;3) Make sure he doesn't follow you home; and4) Next time a man grabs you and kisses you on the street, effing scream Megan!

That's downright scary. Too bad you didn't get his license number, but at least you have his phone number, the police should be able to trace him through that. If you do nothing, you're just encouraging his outrageous behaviour.

Since I read your account with a masher, I have seen men trying to pick up women right in front of me. Two of them were in cars. One guy, on foot, approached a woman sitting at a bus stop next to me. He was very aggressive and I wondered what would have occurred if I had not been there. I've been coming to France for a long time, but I've never seen that kind of behavior.

jeez...forget your anglosaxon politeness...we are raised as women, too, to be polite and nice, and its unfortunately NOT the way to deal with random men in marseille...sad as it is you cant give them anything...Ive seen it so often with friends of mine, even with their exes, they answer a single phonecall and they end up waking up at 3 am with angry/romantic/drunken/abusive texts...

ps dont delete his number so you know its him if he tries to call and you can choose not to answer...you also might like to change your message to the automatic voicemail voice so he doesnt get a kick from hearing your voice.

also- keep his number in case you ever have problems with him again, for the police...they can find out where he lives from his number