The Scientific Guide on How to Attract a Woman

Science can explain everything, right? Right! It can even offer cold, hard facts on how to up your chances of turning heads in every situation. Sit back, relax, and let us give you a refresher on everything you wished you learned in Biology class.

Instead, be straightforward. About 65% of women said the direct approach would do it for them. A simple “Hi, I’ve never been here before, what’s good on the menu?” should be sufficient. Instead of desperate, you’ll seem relaxed and confident, like James Bond. Women totally dig relaxed and confident. And James Bond.

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2. Let your freak flag fly.

Boring is bad. Science says so. Everyone says so. Developmental molecular biologist John Medina discovered that we don’t exactly pay attention to boring things. We like our lives to revolve around the interesting and engaging, which is basically anything we can eat, fuck, or have feelings about. When you stick to the vapid social script of small talk, you can hear the thud of your chances hitting the ground, if you listen closely. Talking about the weather instead of sharing something genuine about yourself makes you magically morph into a generic, emotionally unavailable, humdrum fuckboy right before her very eyes. So go ahead, talk about how you practice speaking in foreign accents for absolutely no reason. It’s kinda weird, and weird is attractive.

3. Watch your (body) language.

Our brains are always a step ahead of our conscious awareness, so we tend to give off unattractive body language cues without realizing it. That’s why you should pay attention to what your limbs are doing, because women pick up on that stuff real fast. Psychologists have found that it takes between 1.5 to 4 minutes to decide if you have the hots for someone or not. That's barely enough time for you to say hello and introduce yourself.

Facial hair is badass. Women think heavy stubble is hot AF because it’s like nonverbally saying you’re a strong, masculine, man. In more science-y terms, women are biologically wired to find some beard action sexually appealing because it indicates healthy androgen levels, which translates to good sexual function. But to clarify, chops, a full beard, or a creepy pornstache are not attractive. Stick to a nice five o’clock shadow.

5. Buy her dinner.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not just men who are tempted with food. The way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. Even if you’re just looking to get in her pants, don’t skip the dinner date. We are truly blessed with dollar pizza.

This is a mating custom that predates dinosaurs because it speaks to women on an evolutionary level. Taking a lady out to dinner, or “courtship feeding,” as it’s called in the science world, shows women that you're able to bring home the bacon and can support your future family. This is all on a subconscious level though, so don’t worry about her starting a Pinterest wedding board after the first dinner date.

6. Don’t be too eager.

Unless it's 2am and last call at the bar, don't throw yourself at her five minutes after meeting. She probably won't be too into that. Guy or gal, it's embedded in the human psyche that being too available is unattractive. It not only comes across as desperate (desperate is annoying), but also destroys the thrill of pursuing someone. Not just men, but all humans love a good chase. Showing interest but playing it cool and being like, “whatever,” may seem counterintuitive, but it'll definitely keep her interested.

7. Pay attention to your scent

Don’t pick that week old shirt off the ground, give it a sniff, shrug your shoulders and throw it on. Even if you think it smells okay, don’t do it. Put it in the hamper where it belongs if you’re thinking of getting close with a lady. Females are a lot more sensitive to B.O. than men, so something that smells borderline okay to you might be a putrid slap in the face for her. So wear freshly washed clothes, maybe spritz on a light mist of cologne, and please don’t forget the deodorant.

8. Wear more red.

You’ve heard everywhere that red is a symbol of love, sex, and desire, and for good reason—it's the most valuable color in your closet. Across the animal kingdom, red indicates dominance, so it seems to trigger something biologically engrained in women. Men clad in red are perceived as more powerful and higher-status, which is one of the most important things a woman pays attention to when choosing a mate.

There you have it, gentlemen. The scientific way to get a woman's attention. Or laid. We're not judging.