OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Underworld Agents of Mayhem

d12
1. Thrill-seeking daredevil humanoid in crash helmet sets the bar high for observing rivals w/wild rodeo-like ride on back of feral titano-swine
2. Gung the world's most muscular giant, dressed in wrestling singlet, carries variety of exercise boulders in huge net, stops any who cross his path to impress them with feats of strength, hair-trigger temper
3. Evil dwarf engineering team on union-mandated binge-drinking break, have huge section of cavern wall removed, installing duct-work, entire section of Underworld taped off as construction zone
4. Ingenious, hard-working humanoid pyromaniacs search for new and interesting targets for spectacular arson, train of bearers haul accelerants, black powder, range of colorful pyrotechnics
5. Utterly exhausted dragon in advanced state of decrepitude, scales dropping, toothless, flames diminished to parody of former potency, devoid of hoard after unfortunate string of gambling failures, looking for a suitable place to shuffle off mortal coil, followed at safe distance by variety of assassins, vengeance-takers in heated debate
6. No one has ever seen an angel looking quite this deranged, dragging a huge flaming sword, howling with grief one second, raging the next, emitting peals of mirthless laughter the one after that
7. Trolls on a bender stagger about bellowing nonsense, bellies bloated to gross immensity, mouths occluded by froth/foam, black eyes closed to slits, out of booze, politely inquire about more wine from any they meet
8. Ogre wranglers on Underworld ape hunt haul cart w/steel cage already loaded w/berserk four-armed albino chimps, offer apes for sale, insanely cruel ape training kit included
9. Wandering collection of confused/hostile beings from across time, recently freed from stony imprisonment when ancient medusa sisters senselessly murdered one another over the love of a surface man, also recently de-stoned
10. Subterranean barbarians engage in ritual brawl before mass marriage ceremony unites survivors in clan merger
11. Swarm of rabid bats on tour of Underworld, biting everything they see for no good reason, leaving confusion/misery in their wake
12. Powerful sorcerer on verge of (wildly incorrect) Darwin-like breakthrough catalogs Underworld finches via invisibility and night-vision binoculars, laden w/valuable/interesting gear, protected by ferocious bound demon, also invisible