Horn_of_plenty on 12/18/2019:
thanks happy, it's been easier lately :) i gained a couple pounds back also after the hospital :)

bearcountrygg on 12/18/2019:
Are you staying with your parents for the holidays? I saw the pics of your pumpkin muffins on FB the other day...they looked delish!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 12/18/2019:
i'm staying with them on and off....i have a lot more appointments lately with dr / therapist, and those appointments are by my parents so i'm staying with them more frequently right now.

happy-1 on 12/18/2019:
I just put stevia in my seltzer and thought of you.

today i have my psych dr appt at 7:45pm. yes, this office has great hours. I will take the train home (a different one) directly to my parent's town and my mom is picking me up. then, i'll have dinner with her and go to my appt. THEN, i'm sleeping over my parents' house and my dad is driving me to the subway tomorrow to go to work. I brought only a change of top (shirt) as i have everything else at their house and i plan to make it easy - wear the same pants tomorrow, etc..lol

Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/17/2019:
Love that you travel light!!!! Good job planning for self care with a doctor's office that is open at convenient times.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/17/2019:
I got lucky and didn't plan for this dr, but it worked out well. I think a lot of therapy places in my area are starting to switch to being open more conveniently for people who work :)

yes, traveling very, very light :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/17/2019:
i just don't care about wearing the same pants, same bra even and socks for one more day. who cares, right!? i'm at a desk all day and nobody will notice ;) and i will take a shower so i feel nice and clean of course! :)

Donkey on 12/17/2019:
I hope your appointment went well. How nice to be close to your folks' place. It's nice that you can be with family after therapy.

Tonight i have to be home, as usual, but to give someone 2 tray tables i'm selling on Facebook local. I sold the two that are in good condition for a total of $10 combined just to get someone to want them and take them out of my closet so my apt is less cluttered :) He will come by i think around 7pm to pick them up and i'll bring them downstairs :)

Ricky slept over Sunday night into this morning and that has helped me sleep so much. Usually it's the opposite with me, but, lately i feel much better around someone who cares about me.

I've felt that living with anxiety, well... and depression (my issue) is like waves in the ocean. The more coping skills and cognitive perspectives you learn, the better one is able to ride out the waves, coasting along, never fearing the next wave that life will bring, but knowing in your heart, that you have it in you to get on top of any wave, big or small, fast or slow, and ride it out.

I agree with Happy. You are smart and strong. You will prevail.

horn_of_plenty on 12/14/2019:
Thank you for thinking about this and putting it in perspective for me :) still working on this....

Donkey on 12/12/2019:
Hope you have a good day! Do you have the day off by any chance?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/12/2019:
I don't have the day off haha...but i am just going with the flow today and working on feeling more relaxed.

BearCountryGG on 12/12/2019:
Yes for feeling more relaxed.....!!! We put ourselves through so much stress sometimes that we forget to just live and find joy in some simpler things.....I'm happy to see you are leaning in that direction too.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/12/2019:
yes, i'm working on it and have a ways to go still...still feeling a little to anxious but working on it. i also think it's due to a certain medicine i'm taking and i called and left a message about that with my doctor...waiting to hear back tonight when she comes in (she starts at 6pm).

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/12/2019:
yes, i'm working on it and have a ways to go still...still feeling a little to anxious but working on it. i also think it's due to a certain medicine i'm taking and i called and left a message about that with my doctor...waiting to hear back tonight when she comes in (she starts at 6pm).

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/12/2019:
yes, i'm working on it and have a ways to go still...still feeling a little to anxious but working on it. i also think it's due to a certain medicine i'm taking and i called and left a message about that with my doctor...waiting to hear back tonight when she comes in (she starts at 6pm).

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/12/2019:
yes, i'm working on it and have a ways to go still...still feeling a little to anxious but working on it. i also think it's due to a certain medicine i'm taking and i called and left a message about that with my doctor...waiting to hear back tonight when she comes in (she starts at 6pm).

It occurred to me this morning that, if you and I are psychically linked, perhaps my anxieties are affecting you and I don't even know it!

Horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2019:
well, i do think it would be the opposite and hope i'm not affecting you <3 either way, i will be oK. i think one of the medicines i'm on isn't helping and i might have a reaction to it finally after 6 weeks (Abilify)

happy-1 on 12/11/2019:
How did you manage to only eat 150 cal of chocolate???

Horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2019:
well...i try to eat it when i want it...and having a big amount of it always at work helps. those chocolates from a coworker were harder to moderate bc they were very fresh and with pomegranate in them so it's something i don't have all the time...which can be hard to keep moderate! but that's all coworker gave me! hahahaha

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/11/2019:
maybe, but i doubt it. i should look them up.

when i had surgery and stuff, the first 2 days i hardly ate. and i was eating a little less going into this whole thing around 2 months ago. so, the few days all caught up in addition to also a fasting day for the Jewish religion...

Snack: small cake thing 100?; almonds 100, chocolate 100 (not feeling my best, so having the sugar is just a coping thing)

Dinner 600 was blueberries tomatoes and dumplings

2050 total

_________________________________________

I was anxious this morning on the train and also had a panic attack while driving yesterday on the highway and had to pull over. i'm hopeful that i'll get over these feelings by taking a breather. any suggestions you have, i'm open to them all. After being back to work a week, it seems i need to work on some things now that are coming back some unwelcome, but, i can get over them, i know...although it's frustrating to face some of the anxious thoughts again.

Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/09/2019:
It's a good thing you pulled over when you felt the need to. When i find myself getting anxious...I reassure myself that I am fine...and I notice if my shoulders are up around my ears....apparently that is my first reaction to anxiety....when I relax my shoulders and tell myself I'm fine then I do relax a bit. I hear biofeedback can help if you have access to that....check out the side affects of any meds you take. Speaking to your doctor about it is important. But know that no one is happy all of the time, over the years i have come to realize that not dwelling on things that make us nervous helps but that things will always get better...so always keep that in mind. There will be better days and times...You are a good person and you deserve to be happy and relaxed.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/09/2019:
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm struggling lately and it really helps, more than you'd guess, to read a comment from you today that relates to how i'm feeling. i know i can do this...and i cannot wait to feel even better :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/09/2019:
the smallest things from people like you are what is helps the most right now.

BearCountryGG on 12/09/2019:
I see that you had an espresso...now that would make me jittery...the only time I ordered on ( in a book store)...I had to add water to it. Funny story...my youngest son was on the road working and they ( he and his coworker) stopped at a gas station and they went in for coffee.....my son...who is ALWAYS looking for a good deal...decided he would fill his LARGE cup up with espresso instead of coffee......and apparently he was bouncing off the ceiling of the truck all day....he never did that again.....

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/09/2019:
yes, espresso was given to me and i should prob have thrown it out today :)...i will write more later, but i agree about the espresso.

happy-1 on 12/09/2019:
Caffeine, substances (cold and other meds, alcohol, pot), and refined sugar will trigger them. Travel anxiety tips will help. Driving is tough because you have to also operate a car. Sounds like what was happening to me when my neck was screwed up. These types of tips helped. https://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/my-health-story/coping-travel-anxiety/

horn_of_plenty on 12/09/2019:
Thank you !!!! I will read it now ....... thanks so much and yes it’s some travel anxiety for sure

Donkey on 12/09/2019:
I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling. Your journey out of this will not be linear. Like Bear said, life is ups and downs, but I do have faith that you will develop the coping skills that you need to keep the anxiety - when it does arise - to manageable levels. It may seem or feel unmanageable now, but this comes with time and practice.

How scary to have an attack while driving! You did the right thing by pulling over to "reset" yourself. In fact, you may find that you have days where you are pausing to "reset" yourself more often, and then you will have better days where it's not necessary. I would encourage you to trust the process and trust in yourself & your abilities.

I've read that when you're in the middle of an anxiety episode, that it's helpful to focus on a series of sensory things to "reset" yourself. So it would be something like, Find 4 things of a certain color, identify 3 things of a certain shape, identify 2 different sounds, 1 scent....

I'm thinking about looking into meditation techniques to help me during work. This might help you too. It's about stepping back, focusing on breathing, centering yourself -- kind of like what we do when we get dizzy. We stop, slow down, refocus, and then move on.

(((hugs)))

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/10/2019:
Thank you for the suggestions...i may memorize here what you wrote about the sensory objects...THANK YOU...all extremely helpful to me!!!