Pages

Blog Stats

Alex Dolin, stress management coach

family

A study released by the JAMA ( Journal of the American Medical Association) “followed nearly 45,000 people ages 45 and up who had heart disease or a high risk of developing the condition. Those who lived alone, the study found, were more likely to die from heart attacks, strokes, or other heart complications over a four-year period than people living with family or friends, or in some other communal arrangement.” If being lonely does not kill you, it can also make you depressed according to the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health study.

The science is strong that having social activity and support in life is extremely valuable to the human soul. Having positive and loving people in life helps one bounce back after a difficult season in life. Having someone to talk to or vent about struggles can be literally life-saving.

Social Activity Ideas

Having positive social supports in lifeis vital. For some it can be easy to get lost in work, personal hobbies or even recreation time. Some people prefer to be alone and do these activities by themselves. Although, many studies are showing the importance of having positive social supports in life. There is always going to be more work that needs to get done. The workaholics need to learn to set boundaries and limits, to be able to create time that is primarily focused on being social. The introvert needs to maintain a balanced lifestyle which includes other people in their life.
Some suggestions for adding more social elements in life could include:

Dating your spouse

Using all of your vacation time

Finding Positive friends

Have friends outside of work

Find a mentor/accountable partner, life coach or counselor.

Get involved in hobbies/activities that force more social interactions.

Whether you are a family of two adults, have children, or even if you are single and relate to a family from a distance, it is important that you evaluate the enjoyment level in your relationships. While spontaneous fun is a wonderful experience of grace, most of us need to be intentional about making space for experiences of fun. Having fun with others socially is a healthy medicine!A healthy exercise for any family configuration would be to set aside some time to brainstorm together a variety of fun experiences in which you might participate together as a family in the near future. Be creative even in this brainstorming experience. Depending on your family, you might want to order a pizza, pop some popcorn, or go to an ice cream parlor and order some sundaes as the setting for this family idea generating experience.

Setting up your family calendar is the next step. It is easy for the creativity and excitement of the brainstorming to fall into the background if you don‘t identify at least a couple of dates that you can set aside to begin to experience those fun ideas you just shared. If you have mature enough children, it might be helpful to give them to an important role or responsibility in pulling off the experience. Even if it is not a significant task, in your eyes, it will make them feel even more a part of the process! For example, if you are planning a game night with the family, maybe allow the children to be the ones that got to organize the games and plan the evening. If you are going to a movie, allow the children to choose the movie. Set the date in stone. Stepping outside the seriousness of our lives and sharing in laughter and pleasure can be a good glue for family bonds.Often times hard working individuals, because their work, draw out their “other-directed” and serious-side and they forget how to play. Remembering how to play is an important trait to develop and it is a good witness to your spouse and family. Couples, whether they have children or not, need to be intentional about finding couple time when they can play together.When your life is very demanding and the children need a lot of attention, it is easy to neglect the time for other priorities, like work. Sometimes we can even hide behind our busyness and avoid dealing with issue that if faced immediately can be easily resolved. In addition, even if everything is going along well, couples need to have some fun and some private time together on a regular basis.I recommend that couples have a regularly scheduled date night.

You might get season tickets to a theater, sports event, or concert series. If you know it is on your calendar and you have paid for it, there is a better chance that you will set aside the time. Sharing a meal away from family and obligations can be an important time to focus on each other. Of course nice restaurants can be special but picnics or grabbing a Subway sandwich can be an less expensive and often just as fun. You could add to the spice of the event by deciding that at different times one of you would plan the evening for the other and make it a surprise.We talked a lot about the importance of family time today, but now it is time to execute a plan. In today’s exercises, you formulated some ideas for family fun time, now within two weeks, you should not only commit to an action, but actually DO it. Make your family important, spend quality time with them and let them know how you love them. Make it a priority. (Accountability to the established goals).