I keep my hubby's photo right above my work headset charger. So when the phone rings and I reach for my headset, I see his photo and I smile. (They say you are supposed to smile before you answer every call!) And after I have taken an order from a person who barely speaks English, or from a scientist who is very crabby, or an irritated person who did not get their order or it was wrong, who have called without their account number, don't know their billing zip code or the numbers to the parts they are calling to order, or who think they are the only customer you have to wait on all day, or who will not stay on the line long enough for you to get the right information to insure that they get the right things exactly where they want them delivered, then I place my headset back in the charger...where I see my hubby's photo...and I smile. The more phone calls I get, the more I see his photo and the more I smile. Who says you can't enjoy what you do? It's all about perspective. I know that what I do everyday helps him-although it may be boring, frustrating and at times just down right maddening...and I smile.

He is the last thing that I see before i say "Thank you for calling Restek Domestic Customer Service, my name is Cyndi, how may I help you?" (Actually we do such a long introduction because we have remote headsets and sometimes when our phone rings we are visiting a friend, at the copier, in the kitchen heating up lunch or getting some ice in our cup, or standing right outside the door getting some much deserved vitamin D, and we don't even know that our phone is ringing until we hear the little beeping noise in our headset that is hanging around our neck.) On those occasions I answer in that sweet, SLOW, Southern style while I hoof it back to my desk so that I don't forget their account number or the order number they are calling about. As i slide into my desk chair, flipping through up to four screens of information, hoping that they won't ask a question I can't answer, I don't see my hubby's photo, but as soon as the call is over, there he is, waiting for me to hang up my phone...and I smile.

Several times during the day he texts me little sweet nothings...and I smile. And on a really good day, he picks me up for lunch...and then I really smile!

I am still in anniversary mode I guess. It's not that it was such a big event or anything to anyone but us, but my husband did put on dress clothes to go out to dinner which he rarely does. (Outback Steak House does not require dressy clothes! LOL) I can't tell you the number of times people have commented on the relationship that my husband and I have when we are out to dinner. It's as if it is somehow abnormal which I think is a shame because really, being affectionate and obviously enjoying one another should be normal in a marriage. It is very troubling that when people see a couple in love being "normal" that they think it is abnormal.

One thing that has kept our marriage alive is that we don't wait until May 15th to celebrate our relationship. We find time weekly to steal away somewhere just to spend an hour or two alone with each other. It may be out to dinner, to the shooting range, to Barnes and Noble for cheesecake, or just to the McDonald's parking lot where we gobble down a hot fudge sundae. Our kids have not understood at times, but we have always tried to make sure that they know that our marriage is important to us and that we must maintain it. (And quite honestly it's necessary to survive parenthood and have something left when the all consuming part of parenting is done!) Over the years, I've seen this knowledge bring a certain amount of stability to their lives because it has helped us to stay stable, connected and on the same page.

Love is always worth celebrating. There is so little of it in the world. Take time to celebrate!

Thursday marked 32 years of marriage for my husband and I. To most people, this is a long time. To us it seems that we've been together forever because we are so familiar with each other and yet, it's really hard to believe that we have loved each other exclusively for the past 36 years. My husband is my world. At work I am teased (and I believe secretly envied) because I only have eyes for one man. I think he is the most handsome man in the world and I don't even think about "reading the menu" as they say.

When we go out to dinner, we may be in a public place, but that all seems to fade away as we sit at the table playing with each other's hands and getting lost in discussion and lots and lots of laughter. Invariably the wait staff will comment on how happy we are and how unusual, refreshing and wonderful that is. When we tell them how long we have been married, they are usually pleasantly surprised and curious. And then we are asked "the question." "What is the secret to your marriage success?" Through the years we have answered that question many ways but this year, for us, it all just came down to one word-selflessness.

Our waitress was quite taken aback and speechless when we said "selflessness." She really didn't know what to say. Finally she said, "that's really not what I expected to hear." We went on to explain that when you are selfless, your main concern is the other and while you are busy caring for and sacrificing for them, they are doing the same for you. There are no unrealistic expectations in the relationship and that causes both parties to be happy. "That makes sense" she said. "I never thought about it that way. Thank you!"

You know, Christ was selfless. He permanently laid down parts of His glory that He will never again pick up to come and dwell in human flesh. He was totally under the direction of God, never doing anything unless instructed to first by His Father. Many times he said that he did not come to be served, but to serve. Because he was perfection in human flesh, he had to be the happiest person to ever live. Scripture is clear that anyone who obeys the Lord is happy and blessed. After setting the example of how man can live, He then rose from the dead so that we could do the same. This is the key to not only a happy marriage, but a happy and blessed life. It just makes sense that a person who lives as Christ did would be happy in every area of life, including marriage.

So really, happiness and success in anything in life starts with the individual learning to be selfless before God and anyone else they are in relationship with. Sounds too simple? Not really, although the actual walking out of this is not always easy. Buffeting flesh is not always easy. Dying to our culture's "you're the most important person in your life" philosophy is not easy. We have to swim upstream. Dying on a cross was not easy either but Christ did it because He was selfless and totally devoted to the plan of God and his love for lost humanity.

Thirty-one years ago today, in a small candle lit church, I married my best friend. Since that day life has handed us many joys that have caused us to rejoice, many sorrows that have caused the deepest grief, and many storms that seem to have had our total annihilation as their only mission. As we clasped hands for the first time as husband and wife and walked happily into our future, we could not have known all that lay ahead, but one thing has remained constant through all the highs, the lows, the joys, the pain, the uncertainties and the triumphs—we have never let go of each other’s hands. Considering all that has transpired these past 31 years I truly believe that the Lord has given me the greatest blessing that one can have in this life-true love.