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Monday, October 31, 2011

Just when you think that you have gotten a jump on Monday….something
like this happens…

I spent most of Sunday being lazy.Lazy is an understatement.I would actually go as far as to say that I
spent Sunday channeling my inner sloth self.It was heavenly.

But Monday morning came around and in order to be a productive
member of society, I had to get some stuff done…and in a hurry.

So when the alarm went off at a little after 5am, I
jumped up and got a start to my day.

I was keeping a mental checklist of all the tasks that I had
accomplished by 6am and was feeling pretty good about myself.

Showered

Got the
boys showered and dressed

Made
lunches for all three of us

Unloaded
the dishwasher

Loaded
the dishwasher

Clothes in
the washer and dryer

Fed dog

Three
bags packed for school and work

Phew….yeah me!That is a lot to get done on a Monday morning (small pat on back!)

The boys get picked up for school and I headed out to
work.Still feeling like I was ready to
do a bit of Monday butt kicking.

I am halfway to work when in one small quick moment,
Monday came to me and smacked me in the face..hard.

I looked down to notice that along with my work shirt and
shoes….I was still in my flannel jammy pants.

WTH?How did I do
that???

Then I remembered that while I was getting dressed this
morning, I had to stop and go help Cooper get ready….and just went on with my
morning and never looked to see what I was wearing. I just sipped my shoes on that were by the door,
grabbed my coat and ran out.

I know that it is Halloween and if I were in an office
that lets us dress up, I would have just kept on my way to work in the jammy
pants and called it a costume, but I don’t, so I had to head back home to change.
UGH.

So what did I learn this morning?Always respect Monday…as she has the power to
be evil!

*Nope, no photos.For one, I was super late at that point and two,
when this was happening, I had to intention of telling the world how dense I am….but
after thinking about it, I thought it might make you laugh*

Friday, October 21, 2011

When the Thriller video came out in 1986, I was 6 and the
video scared the hell out of me. Don’t get me wrong, I would watch it over and
over again, but it still freaked me out.

I hated the part where MJ turns into the zombie and is doing
the Thriller dance along with all the other zombies.I hated that evil Vincent Price laugh.HATED IT.
**and I had an MJ poster on my wall. He was with ET...so in my mind, that is how he should look!**

But at the time I was a hard core MJ fan, so I sat and I
watched it…and watched it and watched it.

Jump ahead a few short years, yeah…who am I kidding…jump
ahead about 29 years to last night.Since
I am going to be spending my upcoming Sat morning trying to learn the Thriller
dance (no, I do not know it, so shut up!) I thought that I would pull up the
video on YouTube and watch it with the boys.

I thought that they would love it.

I thought they would think it was cool.

I thought they might be a bit scared.

The video ends, and I asked them what they thought.

Cooper goes first, “That was kinda of stupid and so not
scary at all, mom.”

Kellen follows that up with, “You really think that you
are going to be able to do that dance?Like with other people at the same time?You can’t really dance.You sure
you don’t want to just watch your friends do it?”

DUDE!I get no love
in my house!

And yes, that statement from Kellen was followed by me
trying to make him do the dance with me.

He asked if he could go to his room and read.

That’s cool…..he does not know it yet, but this weekend he
is learning the Thriller dance with me…and maybe The Dougie

Ok, I get that my kids are growing up and at 8 and 7 they
are able to figure out a few things on their own, but I was not ready for him
to snatch Christmas joy away from me.IN
THIS CASE YOU LIE!You tell them that
the mall Santa is not “THE” real Santa, but just a minion for the hard working
guy who lives up at the Pole.You LIE
and you tell them that he is real and that if they are not good, you will call
him and rat their little asses out to the Big Guy.

This is my right as a parent…all parents, really, to keep
the twinkle in their eyes just as long as we can while at the same time forcing
them to act like the well behaved children that Santa wants them to be.

The ex has taken that from me…revenge will follow.Just not sure yet as to how…anyway….

I was discussing this with a co-worker this morning and
when her kids got to be a bit older; her ex started leaving gifts not from
Santa, but from stars that her daughter was into at the moment.

“Merry Christmas! From The Backstreet Boys”WOW…what
kid would not love that???

This is what I am going to do this year…

The gifts are all going to be from Mario, Yoshi….Donkey Kong….you
get the idea.

So while on Christmas Eve, little ones around the world
will be leaving cookies and milk out for Santa and Rudolph…..my clan will be
leaving out gold coins, mushrooms and bananas.

HA…ex husband….how do you like them apples…or bananas as
the case may be?!?!

PS…Um….ex….you spilled the beans on Santa, but are still
buying into the Tooth Fairy thing….we might need to talk about what mythical characters
we are sticking with and which ones we are hanging a pink slip to…just saying.

Monday, October 3, 2011

I know that I am not good at trying new things with
people that I do not know.

What I don’t know is why I signed up to participate in
the Hybrid Adventure Games and why I actually DID the race.

Would this be a good time to admit that I spent the whole
week wishing for a twisted ankle or explosive diarrhea? Pretty
much anything that would make it so that I would not have to actually go and do
the race.

Ugh. No.Such.Luck.

Saturday morning found me injury free and up at 5am
playing loud old school Jay Z in the hopes that I would get pumped up enough to
want to kick this races ass.And to be
able to proudly sport my 80’s workout gear (hey, if I am going to do something
that scares the hell out of me, it is going to be in a costume!)

I was ready!I can
do this!

And then we got to Ski Bowl and I saw the start of the race…the
start of the race that went straight up the mountain. CRAP.CRRRAAAAAPPPPPP!2.5 miles.ALL UP HILL.

ALL

UP

HILL

UGH.

I started out at a slow run, but along with a large
majority of the people around me, ended up walking most of it.With being lazy and the elevation…I thought
for sure that I was going to die.Or at
least I wanted to, but I did not.I
stuck with it and made it all the way to the top.I would have enjoyed the beautiful view at
the top, but the feeling of wanting to vomit was a bit too strong.And I had to turn my ass back around and go
down the hill.

Yes, I did slip while trying to make it down.And no, you are not shocked, I can tell.

With the small slip, I tweeked my knee, so my plan of
running back down the hill was not a great one.My knee hurt like hell, so I would run a bit and walk some.For a while I was all alone on the trail and
thought for sure that I was the last one to complete the race…BUT I WAS NOT!THERE WERE SLOWER PEOPLE THEN ME!!!

After that came running through tires, hurdles, hurdles
with barbwire, having to slide down a hill in a jacked up slip and slide thing
(yay for being near death and wet!), obstacle course, tractor tire toss, keg
toss and archery.

I did not finish everything, but that was not 100% my
fault.THE LINES FOR EACH EVENT WERE
CRAZY!I stood in line for an hour for
the tractor tire toss (all the while having to chat with people that I don’t
know-AHHH!) and then is started to rain and get COLD!So after a really crappy tractor toss (or
move rather as we all know I am not tossing a tire) I found Elle and her car
key and ran to the car to put on dry clothes.

And there was no way I was getting back into another hour
long line after that!!

Today is Monday and I am still sore, but I am so happy
that I did it.I will mark that off of
my ‘to do’ list and see what new adventures that I can add.

About Me

Hmmmm...what to say? There is a lot that I could say, but I will just keep it short. Mom of two great boys. Divorced, but still thinking that true love it out in the world. I spend my days in a cube trying to look like I am doing something productive. I seem to fall alot. A LOT! Kinda a goof ball. Make killer deviled eggs. Host a dang good party. Loves gin and tonics and hambugers. Hmmmm...I am sure that there is more, but I said I would keep it short!