New Years Resolutions – 7 Reasons Why You Never Keep them and How to Fix it

WHAT? Why on earth would I write something designed to rub you the wrong way you ask? Well, it seems to work pretty well for newspapers, copywriters, bloggers and pretty much any other writer that has ever had the nerve to go against the grain.

Just look at those rag mags at your grocers checkout. If they wrote airy-fairy vanilla stuff all the time, nobody would ever throw down the buck-fiddy to buy them.

The difference here is that I’m not going for shock value, not looking to belittle you, and not trying to “dumb it down” to reach a more broad audience.

The only reason I want this post to rub you the wrong way is so you’ll DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

New Years Resolutions – Obviously this has been a hot topic for a week or so leading up to this post (it’s New Years Eve as I type this) and I’ve seen a lot of peoples opinions over resolutions. Peoples opinions seem to fall into 2-3 groups…

– New Years Resolutions suck and you’ll never keep them anyway
– They’re for winners who want to excel so get making them
– You should be creating and working on goals ALL year long rather than just at the New Year

The internet is rife with people with opinions (including this site and me!) but it’s taught me to approach peoples material in a neutral fashion and develop my own opinions and ideas regarding whatever topic I’m reading or watching…I invite you to do the same with the material I share with you.

“Well what about YOU Mike? What’s your approach on New Years Resolutions?”

Read on Grasshopper…I’ll be sharing through this post (HINT: Read it ALL…it will be worth it!

So here are the 7 reasons I believe people fail to keep/stick to their New Years resolutions…

Reason #1 – Resolution Overload:

You’ve seen these peoples lists…they look more like lifelong bucket lists. Something like this:
– Quit Smoking
– Lose 25 Pounds
– Learn to Speak Italian
– Run a marathon
– Get a new job
– Replace my wardobe
– Get out of debt
– Spend More time with Family
– Travel More
– Be Less Stressed
– Save Money
– Volunteer
– Quit Drinking

That’s clearly too much for most people to conquer in 12 months. Actually, it’s too much for 92% of the world to accomplish in a year because I’ve included the 10 most popular broken resolutions in that list.

I’m all for shooting for the stars, but here’s a twist for you…you CAN create NEW resolutions part way thru the year if you’ve conquered your January resolutions and need something new to tackle!

Reason #2 – They Have No System in Place and don’t Track Progress

If you want to do something but have no plan or system in place that will guide you to the goal, you’ll bugger it up and not make it happen.

If you handed a banana to a chap who’d never seen a banana before, would he peel it? I bet he wouldn’t. Include a sheet with clearly written instructions and he’d pull it off like a champ.

Call me a nerd if you will, but a wise mentor of mine once told me “what gets measured gets done”. I’m sure he stole it from someone else, but it’s great advice.
I’ve worked on projects from $500 to $1 Billion and I can safely say that proper planning and tracking was crucial in each of them being a success.

Reason #3 – The list is also too vague

Yep, vague goals is like shooting at a target that you can’t see. It leaves too much open to interpretation and is loosey-goosey. You might as well not shoot at all because you likely miss anyway.

This is your life, you’re in control and you should be openly willing to get really specific

Reason #4 – You’ve Got No Skin in The Game

This is a HUGE one and I’d bet is responsible for like *89.645678% of the failed resolutions out there (fabricated number. I have NO idea what the stats are)

What the hell do I mean by skin in the game? It means you’ve got nothing to lose. If you and I were to make a casual bet on the outcome of something, you’d likely haphazardly choose an outcome and wait for the result. BUT…if we bet the deed to your house, your life savings, your car and your kids, I’d imagine you’d put some thought into your choice (and if you’re willing to make a bet like that, please consult psychiatric help right away!)

***I’ll teach you how to put some skin in the game in my solutions below…

Reason #5 – You Don’t OWN the Outcome or Goal

My dear reader, please…for the love of god (or Buddha, or Allah….or whomever else you love…). PLEASE DO NOT EVER MAKE A RESOLUTION TO PLEASE SOMEONE ELSE
Yep, I said it. You cannot and will not ever reach a goal that is not designed or chosen for YOU specifically. You wont’ be excited about it and you will lose interest and drop it like it’s hot.

Sound selfish? Personal Development bro…PERSONAL. The Hero Theory is about become the best version of YOURSELF. It’s not about becoming the best version of what someone else wants you to be. (Ladies, I know you’re not a “bro”…it’s just a fun word to use Grrrrrllll…..)

Reason #6 – You Don’t Have a Support System

The going IS going to get tough and you’re going to want to quit. When that time comes, most people WILL quit. IF you’ve been paying attention, 92% will quit.
See, most resolutions are willpower based to some degree and will power is as scarce as good manners and proper grammar (oh yes I did!). It’s tough enough to have high willpower in the moment let alone for 12 months!

There must be some way to help prop you up when you fall. It’s not a sign of weakness…it’s a sign of being human.

Reason #7 – The Resolutions aren’t Tied to Date

If you make a resolution like “lose weight”…you won’t. This goal falls victim to three of the reasons above…actually it hits ALL of them!
How much weight do you want to lose? When do you want to lose it by? What will you do to lose that weight? When you get a few days/weeks/months in and the weight loss stalls, how will you stay motivated to continue? What is at stake if you DON’T lose the weight.

To the personal development fans and specialists out there, this may look a lot like the S.M.A.R.T. goal setting system and yes clever one, you’re on the right track. I add a few tweaks to it as to me, it’s too tied to the corporate world and most of us could give a damn about the corporate world compared to our personal lives…

I mean, we have photos of palm trees and beaches on our desks, but you don’t see many people on their Caribbean vacation with a photos of their cubicle on a chain around their necks do you?

(I really need to find a way to shorten that and make it a book title…that’s best seller material right there!)

SOLUTION TIME – How to Achieve ALL of Your New Years Resolutions

Let’s list the reasons for failure so neither of us has to scroll back up (if you made it this far, you’re a rockstar and I love you. Yes, for real.)

Reason #1 – Resolution OverloadReason #2 – They Have No System in Place and don’t Track ProgressReason #3 – The list is also too vagueReason #4 – You’ve Got No Skin in The GameReason #5 – You Don’t OWN the Outcome or GoalReason #6 – You Don’t Have a Support SystemReason #7 – The Resolutions aren’t Tied to Date

Before we dig into the solution that will greatly increase your chances of success, let’s agree to drop the word “resolution”. It just feels like punishment to me. “I resolve to lose 15 pounds.” To me that feels like whatever I did in the previous 12 months wasn’t good enough. Ok, mabye it WASN’T but dwelling on the past sucks. Call ’em what you want…I’ma call them New Years Plans.

Solution #1 – Create a List You Can Handle

It’s totally cool if your list is ONE thing. Wanna lose 40 pounds? That could be life changing for you. Tacking on 10 more things to conquer could be the reason you don’t succeed at goal #1.
If you’re an adult who works a job or owns a business, has a significant other (or wants to have one) and generally has a life to life, adding on 12 new things won’t be fun for anyone.

Pick 2-6 goals max to start out with. Add more only when you’ve achieved the first set (or admitted defeat and realize it was a stupid goal anyway 😉
*6 Goals is for pros…folks that generally DO rock their resolutions.

Solution #2 – Have a Clear Plan and a Tracking System
Say you want to lose 40 pounds this year. Have you ever lost weight before? Do you know your body well enough to know what to do to cause weight loss or how fast you can lose it?
You can still set this goal if you don’t know these things but it would be wise to seek advice and assistance with a trainer that has helped people get this type of result.

It’s safe and realistic to lose .5 to 2 lbs per week, so don’t set a goal to lose 40 lbs in a month or two.

Track progress – We’ll stick with 40 lbs weight loss. Going with the .5 to 2lbs guideline, it’s realistic to lose the 40 lbs in 20 to 80 weeks. If you weigh in weekly and the weight isn’t coming off, you’ll know it’s time to check your nutrition and exercise plan. Don’t track and you’ll crash and burn.

Solution #3 – Get Specific
Vague goals are guessing and like throwing poop against the wall. Some might stick but…ok, let’s leave that alone.

What sounds better to you? 1) Lose Weight or 2) I will lose 40 lbs, by May 17th, 2015 by eating lean proteins, vegetables and fruits and exercising with resistance training and cardio on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays

HINT: It’s #2

Solution #4 – Get Some Skin in the game
What are the repercussions if you miss your goal(s)? For most, it’s nothing except for a little shame which isn’t enough for most.

There’s a great website called http://stickk.com where you can publicly state your goals and put your money where you mouth is.
They even have it set up where you can have your money go to a charity that you don’t like or support. The money is also paid up front so you can’t waffle on it and not pay.

As my Aussie mates wold say, I think it’s brill.

Not motivated by losing your money? Set something else up. Some will argue with me that loss is not a great motivator. Fine whiney pants, go the other way and do rewards.

TRY THIS: Looking to lose weight? Walk into a clothing shop that carries duds you love. Get fitted. Tell the salesperson you are on a mission to blast fat and tell them how much.
Ask them to help you select $500, $1000 (or whatever amount you want to invest) in beautiful new clothes. Ask them to take your money but hang onto the clothes or order them for you when you come back and then get your ass to work.

You may have to get creative here but the key is you DO NOT want to leave the store with the clothes. If you fail to lose the weight, you could puss out and just donate the clothes. If the store still has them you”ll have to go back to the store and say “I failed to lose the weight and need to get my money back”. That will feel like crap and you’ll work hard to avoid it (unless you love to giveaway money).

*Make sure you either have the money to do this or can save it up by the time you do it. DO NOT use a credit card or go into debt.
**Make sure the store is cool with this and will not stiff you and keep your money. Them making you buy big clothes after you fail is still fine cause hey…you still need to be dressed
***If you’ve got the guts to try this…MAKE SURE you let me know and I’ll feature you on an episode of The Hero Theory.

Solution #5 – Own the Outcome or Goal
Pretty straight forward here. Are you doing this for YOU or at least for some reason that you support?

Weight loss is a big one. That’s one goal that MUST be for you.

Sure others can benefit from you achieving goals. Quitting smoking would be an AWESOME thing to do to treat your family better (cause it looks stupid, is terrible for everyone, wastes money, has NO benefit….don’t get me going!) but that still starts with you. You’ve got to want to quit and being able to breathe properly, taste your food and not hack and die are all good reasons.

Benefit #6 – You Don’t Have a Support System
Friends, family, pastor, mastermind members, band mates, team mates – Doesn’t matter…it will help A LOT if you have running mates backing you, cheering you on and keeping you accountable. StickK works really well here too but you can also have people join a Facebook group, use an online app like http://Lifetick.com or a custom solution BUT…there must be an honest way of reporting and following up back and forth.

Solution #7 – Tie The Resolutions to a Date
I could have tied this into the “be specific” part cause having no date just seems…un-specific. 🙂

Reminds me of a joke about the time a group of folks with A.D.H.D. were rallying for their rights…went something like…

“What do we want?” A cure for ADHD!
“When do we want it?” Squirrel!

Come on…

ANYWAY…no offence to those with ADHD…I don’t mean to be insensitive but let’s face it…2323 words into a blog post, they were gone LONG ago right? Phew…tough room!

Gotta be tied to a date. I wanna pay off my debt. Shitty goal.

I will pay off the $4,500 debt to my brother by July 31st, 2015 by making bi-weekly payments of $321.43 <– You’re a beast and you’re gonna ROCK this year!

That’s how it’s done kids. This stuff is easy-peasy lemon squeezy.
In future posts, providing anyone is brave enough to have read all of this one, I’ll share my 2015 Success Plan and also, how I’m doing with it as the year progresses so you can point and laugh or cheer me on!

Either way, I thank you very much for reading, listening to the podcast, subscribing and otherwise sharing in the Hero’s Journey with me.
I hope you had an amazing 2014, shared holidays with people you love and achieve every single one of your goals in 2015.

A former lost soul oblivious to opportunity, lifestyle design hacker Mike Murphy will help YOU unlock your mindset and blow up your business, fine tune your body and design your ultimate fulfilling lifestyle so you can become your own hero.

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