Hello, my name is Mike, and if you're reading this it is because you have a true fascination with spiders in sacks, or because you are already within a Sack Full of Spiders and are reading what I have written on the sack wall in crayon.

To begin with, no one knows where a Sack Full of Spiders came from.

Wait, strike that, no one knows where a Sack Full of Spiders came from, except for probably some people who have already met their death via spider related injuries. But those people are gone now.

Aside from that, a Sack Full of Spiders is more or less what you'd think it is. It's a big burlap sack, plus spiders, and it has left a history of pain, destruction, and simplistic terror in it's wake.

If you truly wish to understand, and I mean truly get inside the head of a Sack Full of Spiders, let me say this. It is unpleasant. That's probably how I'd best describe it on the whole.

For starters, the spiders of A Sack Full of Spiders, are generally not in a good mood, as they are in a sack, which is not a spider's natural habitat, and they do not care to be there. The sack itself is rather ambivalent, because as a sack it could be holding spiders or not holding spiders, and would still just be a sack as far as it's concerned. As far as storage devices go, they are a rather disinterested bunch I would say. So overall, the emotions of a Sack Full of Spiders combine anger with disinterest to reach a middle ground of unpleasantness.

Chapter 1: How'd this happen?

Teleportation: superior (rank 2)

Now a Sack Full of Spiders can't exactly stalk you, nor can it chase you down. Instead it relies on stealth tactics. More often then not, your misfortune originates not from a Sack Full of Spiders specifically, but by someone else you may know, an enemy, a rival, or perhaps just a person with a very bad sense of humor who thinks, "hey, wouldn't it be a riot if I throw Mike in a Sack Full of Spiders?"

It was not a riot for me, nor will it be for you, but before you might explain as such to this person, (Gary from the bakery) it will be too late. One minute you're trying to finish restocking the canned food sections, the next you're trapped in burlap while arachnids attack you. Such is life.

Chapter 2: The Spiders

Poison: superior (rank 2)

When asked, 95% of the people trapped in a Sack full of Spiders along with me have shown the greatest amount of fear regarding the spiders themselves. The remaining 5% had pre-existing phobias of small enclosed spaces, or perhaps of sacks specifically, and can be excluded from the data.

In addition, according to studies I think I heard once, only 15% of spiders are actually venomous, and only 3% can have a fatal effect on humans. This 3% makes up 100% of the population currently living within a Sack Full of Spiders, thereby making that earlier statistic misleading and unhelpful. Also I think I may have also made up the other people in here with me, but I can't quite be sure considering the amount of venom in my blood.

Chapter 3: The Sack

Inhibit Senses: standard (rank 1)

It's dark inside a Sack Full of Spiders, which is why I'm quite surprised you can read this at all. Just as a warning, if you attempt to navigate your way out, you will find it surprisingly difficult. It's an interesting fact that while burlap sacks still serve no purpose in medicine, fashion, or middle school education, their usefulness of being a thing people can't see out of is still unchallenged. I have no relevant or helpful advice in this chapter, I just thought that was neat.

Chapter 4: Dealing with the Terror

Emotion Control: superior (rank 2)

Whether you are more concerned with the spiders, the darkness, the inability to move, or simply the fact that all of these things combined will lead to your impending death, fear is going to be a factor. Many people can keep cool under pressure, but very few would keep cool when covered with killer arachnids.

Traditional advice would be that it is important for you to keep calm, try and stay level-headed, and come up with a plan. However my more recent theories retain that keeping calm is entirely unimportant, useless, and that if you're already in a Sack Full of Spiders, you might as well freak out while you still have the chance.

Chapter 5: Escape, and why not to bother

Binding: superior (rank 2)

Once engulfed, or tossed into the sack by some jerk, you may find it hard to run, crawl, or fly away, as you are going to be inside a sack. This is because in addition to being hard to see out of, burlap sacks are also notoriously hard to move around in. So once the top of the sack is tied, you're pretty much stuck there.

If running won't work, perhaps you can smash the spiders? Probably wrong. Smashing the spiders isn't going to be a very good strategy, as it is very dark, and your mobility will probably be hampered by the whole 'being in a sack' bit.

Other failed strategies of mine include:

-Playing dead

-Persuading the Spiders to not bite you

-Persuading the Sack to let you go

-Convincing yourself that all reality is simply a dream, and that none of this is real

-Any form of martial arts

-Eating the spiders.

-Eating the sack

-Prayer

I apologize if this doesn't seem helpful to your situation, but I tried my best, and considering the amount of toxins in my blood its surprising that I've managed to write this much without dyi