Monday, November 30, 2009

Ingrid Bergman. That's who I want to be. Given a lasting contract to assure continual stardom through her "formative years." Absolute pure beauty, clear talent...and the tears? Well, forget about it! She made it all look so easy. But then, she did have three husbands to juggle, so you gotta know that in itself makes her a great actress!

I'm sitting here watching Crosby, Stills and Nash and Bonnie Raitt too, belt it out...you know, The Rocking Roll Hall of Fame's gathering at MSG. Last night, Bono and Sprinsteen and Mick Jagger, Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel and a host of other voices that I could listen to forever. Tonight, we've been switching back and forth between Straight, No Chaser an acapella group and the rock show. And I'm actually amazed at how well preserved their talent is after all these years. I mean, c'mon...thirty years on the road and they can still harmonize, and eek out their emotions on the stage. Then walks out one of my all time faves...Jackson Browne, the greatest storyteller of all. Controversial, yes. But man the voice and the craft! He's got it all. "When the morning light comes streamin' in...I'll get up and do it again." Well, now that's a message that sure didn't come easily to me. I was far too busy struggling for the legal tender he sings about. But now? Well, I still struggle, but I've got it. The message is always in the music. Their message endures and so do they.

So, tomorrow morning, I'll be Ingrid, Bono, Jackson, Sting and Bruce and Bonnie too. I'll be focused and true. I'll get up and do it again, because it's what I do. Writing, like music, art and acting takes time, and no matter how long it took to get me there, I'm golden.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I woke up this morning to the most hopeful news! In fact, for me it was a validation of all the years I've spent out in space during my waking hours! I am after all, a hopeless daydreamer. It's something I can't help, and perhaps I shouldn't even try.

The NY Times posted an article relating the true nature of dreams to the daily functioning of the human brain. By day, in my most alert state...my brain apparently represses my dreaming. By night, my brain warms down, and the dream state takes over. Shaking loose all those electronic impulses? I guess. Freud and Jung would be crushed. Will their theories become the stuff of fiction like my daydreams?

I remember and always come back to Stephen King's reference to how well the brain is trained to be ready to dream at the same time each night. (This pearl came in his book, On Writing, a Memoir of the Craft.) Current neuroscience is apparently pointing to this idea too. My brain's on a schedule, that's all. Makes me wonder, though...about all those wonderful kids I have in my class who are a bit disorganized and at times out there somewhere in space. In today's world, it is said that they have 'executive functioning issues.' To my crazy mind, they're probably the next brood of artists, musicians, writers, and crafts people that will fill our eyes and our ears with wonderful sounds and gorgeous imagery someday. They're the doodlers, the drifters, the beautiful dreamers too! In my perfect world? Schools will one day validate them all, allowing large expanses of time for the pure pursuit of a dream.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Simply inspirational? Well, I'm not so sure. When the darkness strikes, as it has this week, it suddenly turns the world on its end. I got home today and hit my chair instead of putting on my running shoes, as I promised myself I would. So...tomorrow, all right?! Jeesh.

I found myself ready for a nap, but fought the feeling. And now? It's 9:02 and I'm ready to put on my pjs. And tomorrow morning? My candlelight writing? Well, the darn sun starts coming up and it's got me so confused. I guess I should be grateful. But instead, I'm hatching a getaway plan. Could I live in the southern hemisphere with my cousins November to March and here in New England the rest of the year? What do they call those people? Snowbirds? I'll become a migratory old bird.

I sat in an inservice today and instead of keeping my focus, I was distracted. I couldn't help it. I'm disoriented, alright? Flocks of geese were hanging in mid-air, floating and gathering and then floating some more. There's a tree out back at school that's been half-red and half-green for two full weeks now. And that so-called last rose I posted about over a month ago? Well...that last rose lasted until this past weekend and now there are four more!

Personally, I'd be happy if it just stayed the way it was...dark in the AM with a longer day at the end. But, I guess I'll have to leave that up to the universe...and just do my part to make it through to the end! (Could we just hold off on the snow?!)

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About Me

I'm an early morning writer, and was an all day teacher (until recently!) for 32 years. I will always be 'Mom' to my three fully emancipated kids. And now, I have a beautiful Golden Retriever who follows me around all day! I wake long before dawn and spend my first waking hours in front of that blue screen out in my little gray cottage...following the many characters that inhabit this crazy brain of mine. I once had about 24 kids in tow on a daily basis, listening to my stories, and allowing me into their storied lives too. But now, they have become my most treasured memories...their writing, their laughter and all that they brought to class each day. But always and forever, I come home at night to a pretty terrific guy, who listens to all my education and writing blather...then tunes me out when he's had enough!