She's been gaining weight these past couple trimesters because: She eats so much bacon (0 points) She hasn't been working out as much (1 point) I don't know, she cries when I mention it (2 points) She has a baby growing inside her uterus (3 points)

She gets mad when: I try to slip it in bareback, HIGHFIVE! (0 points) I say I hate children (1 point) We're playing soccer and I suggest she be the goalie (2 points) I Pretend to push her down the stairs (3 points).

0  8 Points: Hooray! Baby-free is the way to be, and you don't have to worry about any babies in your future. There are a number of possible explanations for this, but you can probably attribute this blessing to the fact that you're still a virgin.

9  16 points: Here's the thing. You know how a horse and a donkey can make mules? Even though you two aren't the same species, you still may be able to make babies. The upside in all of this is that, like a mule, your child will probably be sterile. That's because you and the mother have a different number of chromosomes, so your child is going to have an odd number of Nevermind, all you need to know is that you won't have to worry about your mutant kid making mutant grandkids.