Browsing Category Real life stories

In every area of life positive priming is very helpful. It is particularly powerful in sports.

I’m a lucky person, in that there are many times in my work where I feel deeply fulfilled by people doing great things with tools I teach them… I was training in DC recently, when Lou came up to tell me a story of how he’d used positive priming since a previous course he’d taken with me. It was brilliantly done! Here is his story…

“My daughter Emily is a competitive figure skater. She’s very talented technically. Yet the area she struggles with is “musicality”–emotionally expressing the music and her passion during her performances. She was getting really down from getting this feedback from coaches and others. They’d tell her, “Express! Show emotion!”. But like most people, this is not an easy thing for her to do on command. She was even beginning to lose some of her enthusiasm for the sport!I thought about the positive priming I learned from you and suggested to Emily that she create an imaginary story that goes along with the moves and the music to her next performance. She was inspired! She created a story in which exciting things happened during exciting music, and sad things happened during sad music, etc. She even created an imaginary cat friend (coincidentally) named Bob to make it more emotionally engaging. When skating, now she’d play her story (“inner movie“) in her head as she skated and she then expressed the right emotions and energy authentically and in great timing.She got great feedback from her coach, and really enjoys competing again! Oh, and Emily won a medal at the next competition she was in!”

Well, dear reader, where can you use positive priming to ignite your passion and performance?

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Savoring the memory of a vacation can be as good as the vacation itself, sometimes better. There is a fascinating article describing how even anticipating a vacation can give one joy.

I met a wise young man recently that created a delightful, and (I think) scientifically sound method for helping people enjoyably savor their vacations even better–while still on them. I begged him to let me share his creation.

This graphic was created by Greg Sullivan of Sullivan Gang Graphics.

Sullivan Gang Graphics

115 S Handley St Wichita, KS 67213

Phone: 316-262-6242

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I had the distinct pleasure of seeing Ryan Estis tell this story again yesterday at dynamic NEHRA conference. The hero of this true story, Lily (#LilyEffect), demonstrates powerfully how we can create purpose that fulfills ourselves, wow customers, and create “evangelist customers” who spread the word about us.

I hope you find it as inspiring as I did! Lily’s “Artist” is lit up, and she energizes everyone around her.

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Our brains do some weird things when we are successful. It can pay to prepare for it. Especially, because we can get what I call “expertitis.”

I have a confession to make. After getting some really rough feedback about ten years ago I realized that I had come down with a bad case of expertitis. I had become successful as a change agent, and at helping people transform. This success unfortunately went to my head (which swelled a few sizes). I began to lecture people who had no interest in my advice. I was showing the first two symptoms below. No surprise, my success rate (and popularity) began to decline.

Symptoms: Expertitis is that dreaded egotistical state that shows itself in one or more of the following behaviors:

Knowledge bias: (pompous chest puffing-up) “I’m an expert in one area which of course means that I’m an expert in a bunch of areas.”

Teacher bias: (unwanted professorial air) “Of course you want my advice! Let me tell you how to do it right“

Specialist jargon: (speaking in terms no average person can understand – see the urban dictionary for more.)

Narcissistic bias: (with nose up in the air) “I’m so smart that I deserve better treatment than others.”

My solutions to priming by brain to be more realistic and helpful were simple, if not easy.

First, I posted above my desk the following quote. “Focus on learning, not knowing”.

Then, I made sure with every program that my goal was to “Add as much value as possible, rather than show my expertise.”

I’d love to hear what you do to balance yourself and prevent expertitis.

Also, I love learning about other brain geeks that use research to help us all learn how to work and live better.

I have now been home for a few days, and have thought often about finishing this last post. But each time I began, I just could not bring myself to finish it… almost as if by completing the blog post, my journey would truly be over. Here are my thoughts on the final day and re-entry into my real life.

Our last evening as a group was a celebratory dinner after our ride into St. Augustine. The excitement of the day still hummed about the room, the chatter and laughter rang through the restaurant. We had spent 60 days together, yet there was still so much to talk and laugh about. We sat at small tables and enjoyed the company. There were speeches and toasts, and laughter. And there were gifts for the dish washing crew!

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I have great news! The Kindle version of my book “Energize: Ignite Passion and Performance with User Friendly Brain Tools” will be FREE this coming Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (April 4, 5, and 6). It’s part of a cool promotion that my publisher Aloha Publishing and Amazon are doing to get Energize into more people’s hands. Check it out: http://tinyurl.com/mb2znrl

Will you help me get the word out? I would love it if you would share this and help promote my social media posts this week about this free promo. Here’s a sample of some things you can share with your social media followers, if you’re so inclined:

“My friend, @BobFaw, is the author of “Energize,” which will be FREE this weekend only. Head over to http://tinyurl.com/mb2znrl to get your free download.”

“Looking to make positive change in your life and business? Check out @BobFaw’s book, “Energize,” which is free this weekend at http://tinyurl.com/mb2znrl“

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In addition to calming the Caveman’s fears and energizing the Artist, positive change of any type also requires convincing the Thinker. This part of the brain wants to have a clear vision of how to get to your goals. If there’s too much detail, the Caveman gets bored and confused, but too little detail leaves the Thinker unconvinced. For example, when I had to change the vicious cycles of economic despair into the vital cycles of a great career, I created a few steps that I thought would lead me to my goals. I planned the first step, but I didn’t worry too much about the following steps until I was ready for them. Each person’s Thinker is different and requires a different blend of information. Experiment to find out how much planning is enough to make your Thinker confident, without planning so much that you lose motivation in the process. The Caveman part of our brain starts to rebel when plans get too complex.

Some people need lots of background information and analysis to help convince the Thinker. However, people who have stronger Artist tendencies are happier with a big picture and motivating reasons; and are impatient with too much data. When motivating others, choose your approach based on what they prefer.

There are some things that both the Caveman and the Thinker like. For example, both like it when you are clear about a specific amount to accomplish. This works whether your goal is money, job satisfaction, depth of relationship, or any other goal in life. Both of these parts of the brain also like things that are clearly beneficial to all aspects of your life. For example, when I started doing more public speaking, my Thinker enjoyed the mental stimulation and potential for bringing in more work, my Caveman enjoyed the fun I had working a crowd, and my Artist thrived on the passion I felt talking about positive change.