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Women, do you know what to look for to avoid getting dogged by your choice of soul mate?

Men, do you know how to check your own psych profile to find out if you have the tell-tale signs of a womanizer? (Hint: your ongoing behavior and deepest desires are recorded on your face.)

What we have in these two men are classic but distinctly different womanizers. A womanizer is someone who can’t stop flirting with, obsessing with, and getting in bed with women. It is not a sex addiction (although sometimes that can be a simultaneous problem). Womanizing, also known as being a selfish-callous-dick when it comes to women, is a compulsion to prove and to experience your own ability to attract the opposite sex. The womanizer has a powerful psychological need for emotional conquest. He is driven by an insatiable urge to be needed and to feel worthy by being needed.

While this problem is common to many men, what is of greater concern is the degree of the problem. Some man may have the inclination toward womanizing but have enough internal resources to override those impulses. Others will succumb; as in the case of our two subjects of discussion, Messrs. Woods and James.

Most of the information about behavior towards women is located in the lower parts of the face. But to fully understand the implications of any such evidence it has to be evaluated based on what is going on in and around the eyes.

Much of what drives this heart breaking behavior is a combination anger and self loathing, in Jesse’s case he never developed a trusting and fulfilling bond with his mother and always felt like he wasn’t good enough to satisfy or impress her.

Tiger on the other has all the marks of the “family emblem”, a guilt ridden compulsive succeeder, combined with the “peck’s bad boy” persona – slow self destructor addict.

While I am sure both of their wives would have liked to know this before they started down that road, based on the women’s readings only Ms. Bullock might have listened. Ms. Elin Woods might have had an inkling but probably would have thought she had what it took to “save” or “fix” him. Sadly she is programmed to choose fatalistic relationships. For Ms. Bullock there would have been hope had she known how to see what is so obvious to the face reader.

This is why I teach face reading to people. It is in part to arm both men and women in the battle with the unconscious mind which has the capacity to sabotage so much of what we are trying to get right. I strongly believe that everyone can develop this skill and learn to use it to improve the way one navigates through life. It is a wonderful and healing thing to see the world as it is and not how we wish it to be.

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Drew Barrymore is an extraordinary personality. Most people would agree with this. She’s lived her whole life in the media and you might think there’s little more we could learn… So what can we learn about her from a face reading?For starters we can see some of the complexity and effects of growing up in the dysfunctional remnants of a theatrical and film dynasty. We can also see the evidence of greatness traced out clearly on her cherubic countenance, which brings us to the more interesting aspects of her identity that arise in a face reading particularly when we ask, “Who was she in earlier lives?”When doing a face reading it is important to break the face into parts, as each section tells a different story about the person. It also helps to block out everything but the section you are examining.

The Right Mouth

In Drew’s right mouth which tells us about how she reacted emotionally to her environment you can see the strain of feeling insecure and uncertain of being loved at an early age. (Incidentally, being able to see this is a learnable skill, one of my goals is to teach this face reading skill to others.)The lower face is where we get all the information about a person’s childhood, relationships with parents, authority figures, etc. It is also in this early time period where psychological “scripts” develop. Scripts are repetitive emotional and behavioral patterns that emerge in response to the environment. They can dog people their whole lives or in the case of those with resilience and the opportunity to grow and heal, over time these scripts can be converted into resources. Drew has several examples of this. She actually has a number of these scripts which it seems have been almost completely converted.

For example, Drew has (had) scripts for Family Emblem (a guilt-ridden, compulsive succeeder). This script, when healed, makes the individual a super star and great contributor to society. She also struggled with Panella (perennial child) and to a smaller degree Smilin’ Jackie (a freaked-out, feeling avoider often hiding behind a grin or forced smile). As seen in the example of Drew’s life, when the Panella trait converts to a resource the person becomes a massive generator of abundance, and the Smilin’ Jackie trait leads to a highly sociable person able to matriculate in varying circles and circumstances.

Drew also has evidence in her face for Goodie Getter (self-destruct mode, an id skid, or taking out on one’s self the dysfunction of their surroundings). To a lesser but still impactful degree the Apple Tree (parent or authority enslaved destiny deflector) and the One and Only Heir script (living out a destiny mapped out by a parent or sometimes a circumstance). The Goodie Getter upon conversion shows up as a person able to relish and enjoy life. Apple Tree and One and Only Heir lead to successful producer (as she is a literal example) and a high achieving leader or business person.

So it is not hard to see that many of the self-defense mechanisms that Drew acquired in her developmental years have been largely healed or converted into their resource forms.

The Left Mouth

Now let’s move on to the left mouth. One of the things that is noticeable is the difference in size from left to right. The right side of her mouth is smaller. This is connected to the disappointment she experienced in her caretakers in childhood. It also gives the face reader information about difficulties she may still be enduring in parts of her life. (I won’t be going into that in this forum since it is not publicly available information and would not be fair to her).

Whole Mouth

Let’s look at her full mouth. This can be called the “resume shot,” because it gives accurate information about how others feel about the subject. The general response to Drew is overwhelmingly positive; that is because people genuinely like her. At the same time she does keep up certain guards and it takes time to really get in with her, though those who are allowed in will say it is totally worth the patience. At least this is what her reading would infer.

The Eyes

Shifting up to the eyes, which are in fact windows to the soul — it is in the depth of a person’s eyes where you can surmise the so called “age” of the soul. Drew is a clear example of a very old soul. A person who has had many past lives in human forms.

The Right Eye

Starting with the right eye which conveys a sense of them looking out at the world, or what they see…here Drew’s hope and optimism is visible. It is clear from this that she is a visionary with great creative skill. Here is where you can get a sense of her destiny and her depth as a spirit-soul.

The Left eye

The left eye is about how the individual sees themselves. It is them looking in. Drew’s left eye is a complex phenomena; as she is not fully prepared to see how deep and powerful she really is, there is a sense of trepidation. Some might look at the eye and see some sadness, and while that may be minutely there, what is more prevalent is the sense of potential overload, an “Am I really supposed to do all this?” kind of feeling. As Drew comes to grips with her inner depth and destiny she will realize that she has indeed only scratched the surface of what she is meant to do here. (Just imagine, considering all she has already accomplished in this life).

Looking into the upper half of her face, one sees the surprising influence of not one but two dream animals (shamanic archetypes) both the horse and the lion. This is rare and fascinating as it sets up a range of potential personal powers as well as conflicts which would need to be carefully navigated.

The Right side

The right side of the face is a person’s tool kit, or projected self: what they want you to see. Here you see the sweet and savvy aspects of Drew. She is telling us she is both charming and street wise.

The Left Side

On the left side, however you see the extraordinary nature of her being, the regal, queenly, matronly nature. She is here to lead and to lead with love, and it is ok with her if you are or aren’t ready for that.

Past lives and the attributes developed in them come into focus when looking into the eyes and the structure around the eye as well as the overall feel of the face. One way of describing how past lives activities shape us is in the “soul types” or more accurately, “service personas” that develop over time. Service personas emerge over the course of lifetimes of behavior that favor service to humanity. (Lifetimes that are lived out of virtue and in service to the self lead to a de-evolution of the being, generally sending them to darker and darker experiences and then to lives as animals.) As the individual strives to use the human form of life for bettering themselves, distinct personas or ways of interacting with the world develop. These are visible as archetypes expressed by the face.

Achetypes

For the higher souled members of society three or four fully developed soul types are common, and a sign of advancement. Drew has a startlingly high number, ten fully developed service personas.

They include;

Joy Child (bringer of the good news, and operative of ‘win-win’);

Trickster (disrupter for the benefit of re-orienting consciousness);

Warrior ( fiercely dedicated to getting the job done for the good of all);

Fountain of Love (unconditional agape love for all);

Wise Old Woman (heart based, soul knowing, emotional supporter);

Priestess (intuitive cosmic connection and loving guide);

Sorcerer (consciousness transmutor and heart affecter);

Empress (devoted and charismatic leader);

Discoverer (accesses new resources, ideas and directions);

and Maternal (generative nurturer and/or mentor for tomorrow)…

Wow, that is a lot. It also gives an indication that for all she has accomplished she still has not fulfilled her enormous potential.

The other tricky part of face reading requires the consideration that all human forms are not necessarily human beings. After all, everything living entity has a soul, and that would include (if you are willing to accept the possibility) aliens, angels, demons, fairies, elves, etc, etc… If you start to look around you will see the traces of these types of past lives on a percentage of the people around.

Drew’s face shows the remnants of angelic or more accurately celestial past lives. She came into this life with a mixed bag of karma but clearly demonstrating the residual benefits of coming down from a higher plane of existence. Generally when you exist on those planes you are burning through some fabulous karma (past life credits) and most come here because they either run out of high end karma or to be of service. Drew is more of the service bound type than the bankrupt.

That’s all for now, more celebrity readings to come… what do you think of Drew’s face reading?

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Studies in the Devil You Know and the Devil You Don’t Want to Know

Barbara Boxer is the like the smart mom on the block who really cares about others but doesn’t actually trust or believe in anyone. This creates a dangerous internal duplicity that is not unlike someone who lovingly pats you on the head after you fall while muttering, “I knew you couldn’t do it”. As a politician she is a strong spokesperson for the less fortunate without actually having the strength of heart to do something for them because she doesn’t believe they deserve it or thinks they will just mess up any advantage they are given. This makes it unlikely that she will ever back any real fundamental change in society. She is not a bad person per se, she is just not a great person either.

Carly Fiorina reminds me of an alien entity that would care for her progeny until she felt they were no longer essential and then she would eat them. She is a person of affable demeanor, but most unpleasant character. It is hard to feel positive about her because she has such a dark disposition. Sadly she is one of those people who believe the end justifies the means. She is not empathically capable of understanding the full extent and implications of decisions she makes. This is a good quality in a ruthless dictator but not so good in a trusted civil servant.

Jerry Brown is like the wimpy kid who always wanted to get respect and became expert at conforming to the zeitgeist in pursuit of popularity. This is one reason he has been so successful in winning elections in the past. Unfortunately he does not have the strength, or courage to do what is needed to bring a nation-state like California back to full healthy functionality. He is like a TV show version of an expiring politician scrambling for the last hurrah that has always avoided him because he has lived a life of form over content. Like Senator Boxer he is also not a bad person, but he is certainly no civic hero.

Meg Whitman is such an off the charts negative person it is hard to know where to begin. She has many of the indicators on her face of person with antisocial personality disorder. She could be the poster child for the Nuovo School of Fascism. It is perfectly understandable why she would make an excellent CEO. Most corporations are essentially institutionalized forms of authoritarian, totalitarian states that have little interest in pluralism, egalitarianism, or rationalism; making Meg Whitman an ideal candidate to run such a state. It might not, however, be such a good idea to put her in charge of a republic that still has democratic ideals. It’s very poor thinking to assume that what makes a good C.E.O would translate into a functional civil servant. Ms. Whitman is the antithesis of what a political leader should be.

Face reading for Business

Emotions make the environment

I’d like to share with you what yoga psychology has to say about child rearing. It turns out that it is aligned with much of what western psychology has to say on the subject. The foundational idea is that the early years (0-4) are like a continued gestation period with a brain that is only ¼ developed at birth but will triple in mass by age 4. Consequently, the environment must provide the necessary emotional support to allow the child’s nervous system to develop. Everything in the environment has the potential to imprint on the child. Whatever fears, anxieties and frustrations are present in you or other members of the child’s environmental community will become part of the child’s emotional experience.

Therefore, it is not enough to just feel and display love and support to the child, you have to manage the entire emotional ecology surrounding your child.That is a very tall order and requires planning and practice. What follows is a list of issues to consider in this process.

In Utero

According to the Vedic Model the time in utero is primarily stressful. The quarters are cramped and even frightening. Increasingly Western science is proving that the experience in utero can have a lasting impact on the baby. The first order of importance is the mother’s emotions.

The more balanced her nervous system the better. Getting stuck in either a stimulated state (angry, frustrated, nervous, anxious, fearful, keyed up…) or a depressed (parasympathetic) state (sad, lonely, depressed, fatigued…) can create an in utero environment that inhibits healthy development of the foetus. The more time the mother spends in a stable, content mood the better.

Learning to manage emotions is key to this process. It is important that emotional management be honest and not based on any type of repression as that will result in a disruptive influence on the child. Repressed emotions leak or spill out in an unhealthy manner and the baby feels what the mother feels, whether she is willing acknowledge it or not. You can’t lie to an embryo.

The next most important factor is diet. The goal is to share a diet in the mode of goodness (Sanskrit – sattvic). A sattvic diet is plant-based with limited amounts of refined simple carbs (white flour, white rice, white sugar.) The ideal is to consume whole foods, complex carbs (whole grains, legumes, vegetables certain fruits), health fats (avocado, nuts, flax..). This type of balance of complex carbs and fats will provide sufficient protein. Eating regularly (smaller amounts more often is better as it prevents hunger or over eating related mood swings.) Additionally, it is important to pay attention to the emotional state in which food is prepared and ingested. Be sure to check with a holistic-prenatal nutritionist for additional advice specific to your needs.

The next element to control for is the mother’s voice. Reading out loud or speaking out loud to the gestating baby is very valuable. While the sounds the mother hears are important to the extent that they influence the mother’s mood they do not directly impact the baby. What the mother speaks (or sings) on the other hand is the most perceptible sound the embryo will experience. So skip the headphones attached to the belly and instead pick a book and read out loud. As for choosing Dr. Seuss versus Shakespeare or Rumi, it is not going to matter to the baby as much as the mood it puts the mother in. So choose subject matter (or songs) that provides a positive effect on your mood. (Mantra chanting is an excellent pastime for mother and womb inhabitant),

0-2 years

Attunement is the emotional dance of reciprocation. This is all about being emotionally available without bringing your own needs or expectations to the process. Your child must feel that you are always emotionally present on their terms. If they are happy, then you are present with matching joy. If they are aloof or distracted you are patient. If they are grumpy or colicky you are present without demands or frustration, simply demonstrating support. This is very challenging, as it requires you to be emotionally engaged without being drawn into the child’s moods.

1 -3 years

In the early years, it is important to not admonish them with anger. Nonetheless, correction is crucial because it is for their benefit. Consequently, it should be done with emotions ranging from aloof-detachment to loving-engagement, but not with anger, fear or frustration. This is another reason emotional management is such an important skill for parents. The trick is to understand that emotions are both spontaneous and mechanical. In other words, if the anger and frustration you feel is spontaneous you can’t always stop it before it erupts. You can, however, choose to experience the frustration internally and display a different more constructive emotion externally.

This is a little like rubbing your belly and patting your head. It is hard at first but with practice you can learn to take responsibility for your frustration and anger by feeling it and acknowledging its presence in your body and then choosing to smile inwardly into the challenge. Then you can decide to experience and express a more productive emotion for the benefit of the child. I repeat my warning from earlier, this must not be just an act of repression. You must be honest with yourself about the frustration you feel, and that is not easy. It is a practice that requires courage. But in practicing the courage needed to feel difficult emotions on the inside, you model an important virtue for your child.

1-18 years

Do not feed them dead animals. Science is clear humans do not require meat to flourish. Omnivores are not carnivores. We can eat meat if we have to but we are not meant to. Children who are never given meat will not develop physiological dependencies on it. One of the great gifts of modern culture is that we don’t need to eat meat any more. It is a healthier, environmentally sound, humane choice. Additionally, it instills a greater degree of empathy and virtue in those who do not choose to participate in snuffing out a life for their own sense gratification. The path to finding deep happiness is difficult when we are bringing unhappiness to other sentient beings.

2-5 years

Don’t reward them emotionally for what they produce; reward them for simply being. Let them feel important because they exist, not because they must do something to earn your love.

5-10 years

After the age of five they should learn self-discipline and pranayama. Self discipline is based on learning to do what the body and mind do not want to do. This is a great art to teach. It cannot proceed too slowly as the principle will not be learned, or too fast as the child might be harmed. Rewards have to be used lightly because the real benefit of self-discipline is in having it for its own sake rather than as a result of external rewards and outcomes. This helps teach the important principle of being focused on their actions rather than their outcomes.

Pranayama provides the ability to manage their emotional experience of life. They must learn and become experienced at controlling their own nervous system. This technique alone will improve the quality of their lives. In order to teach them pranayama you must first be experienced and proficient at it. This is not difficult but it does require practice. Your personal practice can be a simple as controlled counted breath.

Allow them to make mistakes in an environment you manage. Create opportunities for them to create and fail. Learn to apply the principle of controlled chaos in allowing them to learn the decision making process. You do this by giving them chances to make choices and allowing them to experience the consequences.

Teaching kids to be simultaneously present and detached

They are not the roles that culture and society impose upon them. The question and the goal is how do you get them from identifying too deeply with these roles? How do you teach them that all the world is a stage and we are just players? And, how do you teach this without risking that they become sociopaths? One clue is that the difference between the sociopath and the enlightened being is intention. This brings the focus to the development of character and virtuous intentions. The additional challenge here is how to develop real character without simply superimposing a superficial notion upon those kids smart enough to simply mimic it for the sake of getting rewarded?

For them to be secure in who they are they have to be ok with the insecurity of not knowing who they are because that is the human condition. Anything else is just reinforcement of the ego, which is the source of prolonged suffering. So focus on the development of virtue and character.

Father’s role

The father’s role should not be overlooked in all this. If the mother provides more nurturing and support than the father, their identity and gender awareness may be impaired. It is just as important that the father practice attunement, emotional management, and the ability to be lovingly present without expectations.

Catch-22

So here’s the catch – if you consider the full range of your responsibilities and the magnitude of what can go wrong in the raising of your kid you can reasonably expect to be overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. At the very least the weight of your responsibility will be stressful. Persistent parental stress has been shown to be a predictor of developmental disruption for children. So the more you worry about raising your child the more you put her or him at risk. What to do?

Embrace the impossibility of life…life is not a game you win; it is an event you experience, either positively or negatively. Life becomes more positive when you emphasize experiencing life over understanding life and self-forgetting over self-love. The key to being an experiencer of life and an in the moment self-forgetter is in your willingness to embrace and appreciate the mystery, the paradox, and the impossibility of life.

Consider the paradox that children represent: for all the joy and hope associated with the birth of your child you have simultaneously condemned a human being to pain, disease, and a non-commutable death sentence. These are the inevitable realities of human life. Do you reflect on these facts? Have you enshrined these truths along with the dreams and well wishes you have for your child? Can you allow the good will you have for your child to coexist with the reality that despite your best efforts you cannot control the way your child will turn out?

You might choose to ignore the negative side of raising a child but that would be unwise. Resisting or ignoring the darker aspects requires a type of emotional repression. You would have to be unwilling to be present and to experience reality. This impoverishes you as a human and leads to unconscious stress; a stress that will impact your child’s development. The challenging and all-important solution is to choose to live in the impossible paradoxes created by life. You can if you wish choose to feel everything. This gives you tolerance and resilience. This gives you the ability to be present. This allows life to flow around you in all its mystery and variance. It doesn’t make the unpleasant or difficult moments of life disappear but it makes you a stronger more balanced person and you will be modeling this to your child.

So you must live with the catch-22; raising a child is stressful and stress must be minimized when raising a child. The more you learn to enjoy and have a positive emotional experience of the challenges of raising a kid the better the environment you will create for them.