(Closed) Family saying mean things behind my back about my DW

So, technically I’m having a destination wedding. Not because it’s in vouge right now, not because i’m trying to make my life harder or because I want to be austentacious…but because 7 years ago I decided I wanted to travel and meet my extended family, aunts, uncles and cousins who still reside in central Mexico. Most of my family here is first and second generation american and most of them have never been to Mexico. I even went all alone…scared to death, and unable to speak much more than 200 words of Spanish….but it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made…I fell in love with them and vice versa. And many more members of my family here in the states have ventured along with me in the years since to also visit the family in Mexico. We’ve had nothing but wonderful experiences there…beutiful sights…friendly atmosphere, we go and then we never want to leave. So, when I met my fiancee’ naturally he traveled there with me at least 3 times during our courtship. We always talked that if we ever got married, we’d get married there. We love it there. We dont’ hesitate to walk the streets alone..even in the evenings..we’ve never seen as much as a scuffle in the 7 years I’ve been coming to and from the lovely colonial village where my family lives.

I got engaged a year and a half ago and the wedding is now 6 months away. Once we were engaged we emmediatly reserved a venue and our favorite cathedral for the wedding.

But now with all the terrible stuff in the media, people are making aweful comments to us and behind our backs. I really feel people are sometimes hurtful and even ignorant, because none of them have bothered to look at the facts and where these problems are and were they aren’t. According to my research and my family;s (in mexico) advisement, there have been no cartel activities within the entire state where my weddign is to take place, much less the city. I have tried to tell people this but they don’t listen…they are telling my mom behind my back “why is she having her wedding there, it’s just stupid and expensive”. It’s really not…we are spending less than 5k on the entire wedding, including airfair and we dont’ expect anyone to come if they can’t afford the trip.

I’m just so mad…because I paid for tihs so long ago, it’s not like I can change my plans because a few people are pissed. Most of the relatives who are pissed about it live in Texas…and I live in Seattle…so regardless If I canceled my Destination Wedding I would have my wedding in Seattle..so stupid because they’d have to fly either way.

Sorry you’re having a rough time. I’m almost 100% positive when they say it’s expensive, they mean it’s expensive for them to fly their (they are unlikely to know/care how much you are spending). Even if you don’t expect them to fly there, they may still be disappointed they can’t make it. They don’t know you’d have it in Seattle, particularly because weddings are often held in the family home town. (It also may still be cheaper to fly domestically to Seattle, I don’t know.)

ETA: You were nervous headed to Mexico your first time… Try to understand they’re similarly nervous.

I’m so sorry! People are terribly ignorant when it comes cultural awareness and differences.

I would just let it roll off of your back. You are doing this for all the right reasons and its going to be a magical time. I’m having my wedding away from my homebase/homestate and I got some crap, but ya know what, at the end of the day we are grateful for who can make it, and no pressure for those who can’t. Its about our marriage not everyones personal opinion on what would be more convenient for them;)

Totally…btw, my home town is Seattle…I just have alot of relatives in Texas. I honestly wouldn’t expect them to make it regardless of the location (mexico or Seattle) …because asking somone to fly to a wedding regardless of where it is, IS asking alot. I’m inviting everyone because I love them but I understand they probably won’t come and no hard feelings about that….the hard feelings are coming from their judgment. I wasn’t scared to travel to mexico for any other reason other than I wouldn’t know a soul there and I was just nervous about that.

@kay01: Everything that she said. Bottom line you can’t please everyone. You had to have known planning an international Destination Wedding was going to have some push back. Especially in this economy. As well intenioned and informed (because you have been there several times) as you care, I can understand people having reservations. Ignore it.

@fresitachulita: My honeymoon is planned for Mexico..after doing a TON of research I came to the conclusion that unless you are buying drugs, walking around late at night, and making yourself an obvious target, its rare that something will happen to you. Also were staying away from the border area and thats where most of the violence is located. But to outside people, mexico looks like a giant cesspool of violence and drugs where innocent people get beheaded left and right..when in reality this is simply not the case. I wouldnt expect a lot of people to understand unless they really looked into this and if they cant make it, you cant please everyone.

yea it is annoying when people say judgemental things about the decisions you make and it can be hard to not care. i think that people are thinking of themselves and not often taking other peoples perspective into consideration. i have experienced some of this with the wedding, with what i should do in xyz area of my life, including the time i eat dinner which is usually 8:30. i have heard it only gets worse when you have kids. sometimes it can be hard to not fire back, or to withold sharing info to avoid the situation altogether. you don’t need any party poopers anyhow. you two know its what you want and congrats on coming together and making your dreams a reality. you could have easily tossed the idea because of the logistics. in the end, no matter who is or isn’t there and what they think it will be perfect.

@MsNarwhal: THANK YOU..I just wish people would do their homework before making such nasty remarks. And it’s not as if I expect them to come anyway. My guestlist is actually larger than what If I would have had my wedding in my hometown of Seattle…because of how spread out my family is.

I do wish things would get better in the bad areas so that the media can stop talking about it. It is horrible the cartels killing eachother…and putting it on display so shockingly and the corruption parts of the country suffers. I just wish people would realize Mexico is a pretty big country. I’d rather walk some of those streets than the streets of Houston.