(Closed) How would you word this invite?

So FI and I are a same-sex couple. In our state it isn’t legal to get married. We are thinking about traveling out of state on our anniversary and getting “legalled” just on paper, no rings and minimal vows (if any, if we can get away with it). Then having a celebration when we get home, aka a wedding.

I know there are a lot of feelings on getting married before your wedding and that making your wedding not a wedding and for opposite sex couples, I agree most of the time. The fact that we HAVE to go out of state to get a marriage licenses makes it impossible to invite all of our family and friends and have the wedding we would like.

Anyway, so I am thinking of ways to word an invitation. It wouldn’t be a “vow renewal” because we wouldn’t have previously exchanged vows. Do I just call it a wedding and let that be that? Does anyone have any other wording that they think of when you read my situation?

The fact that you will already be legally married doesn’t change the fact that this event will be a celebration of your marriage, and “dinner and dancing to follow” suggests that there will be a ceremony first.

Ya people “in general” get their panties in a twist about Couples that marry quietly with a JOP and then pass off a Big Celebration “Wedding” as the one and only. It is the one and only part that makes people upset…

Your case is a bit different (but yet somewhat the same). Clearly if you live in a State that hasn’t recognized Same Sex Marriage, then folks will naturally figure out that you cannot “marry there” per se.

So ya, off you go to the JOP elsewhere, and come back home to either a Vow Renewal… or a “Wedding Celebration” / Reception Party after the fact

Mr TTR & I eloped, we came home and threw a “Back Home Reception Party” as we didn’t have anything to do with a repeat of Vows etc.

Anyhow… I agree with @JulietFoxtrot: in your situation I think the phrase “Wedding Celebration” is perfect, and then you can make it whatever you want…

Be that saying your Vows to one another… or just a Party to Celebrate the Marriage.

If you decide to skip the Vows, then just eliminate the Dinner & Dancing to follow line, and you are good to go.

Ie – 8 o’clock in the evening – Chestwick Community Hall

In which case, the time will imply that there won’t be Dinner served.

Hope this helps,

NOTE – In our own case, as we ONLY held a Party, our Invites were way more casual (style etc) … and not big on the formal wording whatsoever. So similar to any other Party Invitation…. 8 PM to 1 AM – Chestwick Community Hall.

The backside included info about how to RSVP – Location Map – and even what was planned (Cocktails & Hors d’ouevres – Cake & Champagne – DJ & Dancing). Clearly a party and not a “Wedding” Ceremony.

Thank you for the helpful suggestions. This has had me stumped because our legal “wedding” will be less than a minute I suppose. The very basic bare bones minimum we have to say to sign the paper. Our actual ceremony will be one of which a “normal” wedding would consist of. We plan on have an opening reading, the letters to each other, then vows, then a part about blending our family and then rings and we’re done. It’s just tricky because if we weren’t required to go out of state to get legally married we obviously would do it all on the same day.

I like the sound of wedding celebration though. I think I can work with that.

@lovelyMsValentine: It sounds to me like you’re eloping and hosting a celebratory reception upon your return. Or a party in celebration of your recent marriage. Calling it a wedding would be both incorrect and confusing since no wedding is taking place at your party.

Thank you for the helpful suggestions. This has had me stumped because our legal “wedding” will be less than a minute I suppose. The very basic bare bones minimum we have to say to sign the paper. Our actual ceremony will be one of which a “normal” wedding would consist of. We plan on have an opening reading, the letters to each other, then vows, then a part about blending our family and then rings and we’re done. It’s just tricky because if we weren’t required to go out of state to get legally married we obviously would do it all on the same day.

I like the sound of wedding celebration though. I think I can work with that.