Tag Archives: despair

Oftentimes there is so much I would like to share but I then remember that everything that wants to be said doesn’t need to be said…at least not right now. Not everybody will understand where you’re coming from and will likely draw their own conclusions. But that’s to be expected, right? We don’t all share the same experiences. How one would choose to handle a situation they have never encountered is totally different from the individual that is actually in the situation chooses to handle it. One is speculative and the other is relative.

The majority of the blogs I have written were while I was in the midst of one of the most disappointing times in my life. I couldn’t understand how I was able to write from a place of pain that was a place of healing for someone else. I could not understand how God was going to cause all these ingredients of disappointment, heartbreak, heartache, rejection, loneliness, despair, hopelessness, resentment, bitterness, self-righteousness, turmoil, shame, lack of wisdom, disobedience, helplessness, selfishness, desperation, unloving, blame, victimization, and pain…ALL work together for the good! That’s why He’s God and I’m not! Most people say, “I just want to be happy!” I feel you! As you may know by now, happiness is the result of something happening that charges your emotions and you wish the moment would last forever. Again, I feel you! One day I had an “Ah Ha!” moment and I said out loud “I want to live a fulfilling life!” Simply meaning, no matter what is going on in my life it is fulfilled because 1) my hope is in Jesus, 2) this too shall pass, 3) live in the moment, 4) take nothing for granted but be GRATEFUL for it all, and 5) forgive offenses quickly and let go. Does that sound too unrealistic? Easier said than done? Do I think this way every single day? Certainly not, but moments like this gently reminds me that I am not in control. Release…

Some of you will be able to relate while others may find it surprising, obnoxious, or cumbersome but that’s the beauty of each of us having our OWN life’s story! I sometimes still deal with the afterthoughts of “What will people think?” “What will people say?” “How accepting would people be?” People…people…people…will be…people! You will always have “the Naysayers, the Oooh-Childs, and the Ummm…umm…ummm…No she didn’t!” that really are your cheerleaders! They’re the ones that will help share your story! So don’t count it all a lost!

God still has the final say in my life’s story…after all, He’s the Author and Finisher of my faith. You, too, have a “Pit to Palace” story and if you don’t (as my granddad used to say) “keep living”! I’m a bit hard on myself at times because I think about precious time I’ve wasted and the grand mantra of, “If I knew then what I know now…!” I dare not compare my story to others because I may not have survived what most have gone through but I respect it! I can minister to the married because I’ve been there. I can minister to the divorced because I’ve been there. I can minister to the forgotten, left behind, disregarded, heartbroken, rejected, taken for granted, misused, abused, neglected, and broken because I’ve been there. I can minister to the hopeful, the survivor, the fighter because I’ve been there. I can minister to the dream chaser, the intercessor, the faithful, the faithless, the undeserving, the one that stands alone because I’ve been there. I can minister to the poor decision maker, the flesh, the wise and unwise, the one who’s afraid, the sinner and the saint, the backslider, the joyful, the humble, the proud…because I’ve been there. I can minister to the homeless, the unvalued, the hungry, the one who has plenty and the one who doesn’t have enough because I’ve been there.

Although I’m able to encourage you from all those places and then some it’s because I need you to know you’re not alone! I don’t have all the answers or solutions but I know One who does and can heal you just by the bare mention of His Name, Jesus! Being able to minister to you from my story is not about me but an opportunity to share Jesus Christ. Not to preach at you or to you but to SHARE His Light in your dark place. I make no apologies and totally unashamed but drenched in humility…