Reflections

31Jul

I’m curious to hear a parent’s perspective on this. As I’m winding down my final days/hours of being the nurse at COTP (if you didn’t get the news, check out the previous blog post) I have been able to gather my thoughts a bit about things. When I worked in the hospital as a nurse, the cause for each patient’s admission was almost always clearly known. They needed a new knee or they fell and broke their hip. The associated pains and discomforts were more or less expected and it was my job to follow the doctor’s orders, explain things to the patient, and help them feel as comfortable as possible. No one questioned whether I, their nurse, had caused them to fall and break their hip or cause wear and tear on their knee for the last 60 years. That would be ridiculous.

But now, and parents, I want you to tell me if this is how you feel about your own children, if a child is sick or injured, I somehow feel guilty for it, that it’s my fault they are not well. Wilson tells me all the time, “Sheila, you didn’t make them sick, you are just here to help them get better.” But am I not here to keep them well in the first place? When a volunteer tells me a child has a fever, I feel like I am being scolded because I am not doing my job. I find myself becoming defensive because I ought to be taking better care of them. Is this even a little bit normal?!

My challenge in all of this is to give everything, whether I am working as a nurse or not, to give everything into God’s hands. I could rattle off some Christian-y thoughts like “God is the great physician” or “He is sovereign,” “He will never give you more than you can handle.” But I am just trying to figure out practically, and in my own heart and mind, what it means to put my faith in Him and let go of all the rest.

2 responses to “Reflections”

I think He does give us more than we can personally handle, or at least handle well in order to turn our thoughts, prayers and dependence 100% on Him. If we think we can handle things then we tend to focus on ourselves and forget to give Him the glory and honor. No medical person can heal anything-only God can. Reflection is a good starting place to process your experiences. Listen to Wilson and your friends. Listen to your Lord.

As I reflect on this life and its great mysteries, I remember you. It seems like you have always been a deep thinker and a person with a heart of compassion. I have watched you for 16 years and God has given you the capacity to love well. When we desire to walk closely with our Lord then our heart breaks over what breaks His heart. I love The Lord because He always had time for children. You dear one are growing in the love of your Lord and are learning what the Calvary Road is all about. I still get angry when students say I love them more than their parents. We are called to love. Love is the mystery and the most powerful 4-letter word. It is because of love that Christ died for us.
The month of July was a month of great loss and a month to reflect on what it looks like to live life for Jesus. Dear Julie, you are living for The Lord. You are serving The Lord and you are being His hands and feet. When you hold those little ones, He is holding you. you are starting a new chapter in your journey. I will be celebrating with you. Hold on to Jesus as you redefine your role. Remember that He loves you. He knows your name and He has plans for you. I truly believe that your eyes have not seen, your ears have not heard and it has not entered into your heart what God has prepared for you and your precious Wilson. Hold on to Jesus and be who you were created to be. Jesus smiles when you wake up, God the Father sings a love song over you and the Holy Spirit can’t wait to walk the new adventures…go in peace dear one…go in peace…by the way moms blame themselves for everything, at least this mom does…God is letting me off the hook…I still think…that is for another time. Happy Wedding and life as a new chapter unfolds.