True power is about modesty, empathy and advancing the welfare of others

Horrifying stories about predatory behaviour and misuse of power continue to surface, literally by the hour.

It’s an epidemic, with Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein accused of assaulting or harassing more than 50 women, and a litany of other egregious abusers of male supremacy joining his ranks.

Many industries brim with bias, hostility, harassment, lies and arrogance – apparently the universal language of the powerful with a platform and visibility.

Although the recent revelations centre around powerful men sexually targeting subordinates, when it comes to power, by and large it turns people nasty. According to Dr. Dacher Keltner, powerful people believe it’s fine for them to break the rules others should follow.

The seductions of power induce us to lose the very skills that enabled us to gain power in the first place

“The seductions of power induce us to lose the very skills that enabled us to gain power in the first place,” reports Keltner. It’s the absurdity of power and the topic of his popular book, The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence.

You start out nice, and then get mean. Some behave very, very badly. “Power, the feeling of influence of others, shuts down the empathy regions of the brain, thereby unleashing our more selfish tendencies,” quickly followed by all kinds of nasty behaviours, says Keltner, psychology professor at UC Berkeley.

Although Keltner says true power is about modesty, empathy and advancing the welfare of others, research reveals that powerful people become reckless, and take more than their fair share. “Abuses of power occur in every corner of our social life – and lead to greedy eating, swearing, rudeness, lying, sexual affairs, sexual violence, racial violence, unethical behaviour, and arrogant driving.”

Keltner has been pursuing power for years – from a research angle: “I’ve long been interested in how absurd power and privilege can make people act, and how costly such abuses are to the people with less power. I got into it in being bullied as a kid, in reading of the idiocies of the European aristocracy, in following Nixon’s demise, in feeling outraged that the wealthy eat most of the protein in the world.”

The recent scandals come as no surprise to the professor as coercive power structures loom large, including lack of women in Hollywood and as CEOs, and “structural processes guarantee unjustified power in the few, and more unethical actions.”

Power is altering and little surprises him anymore, but “sometimes I’m astonished at the absurdity/idiocy of what people do – Weinstein showing up at the door in robes, or naked, or… Sometimes I’m astonished that men with power don’t realize how dumb they sound, as when Trump said he could grab women by the pussy, and that they don’t realize their kids will hear such things.”

Finally sexual harassment is coming out of the dark: People are reacting. Women are empowered, and they have taken the upper hand in this debate about abuse/assault/sexual harassment, says Keltner. “The movement has reached critical mass, and the terms are changing. There’ll be a new and I believe enduring awareness at work and in our social lives about the lines that men so routinely cross when powerful.”

The #metoo empowerment movement is incredible, he adds, and follows the principles of reigning in the abuse of power: “Form alliances, build networks, give voice to the less powerful, give power to new moral movements, make those who’ve been treated coercively feel power in their numbers.”

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What is it with power and the sex, lies and arrogance?

Money is power, and high-powered people are more likely to take risks, according to infidelity expert Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. Those who have the most are often willing to risk the most.

“Power and risk are repetitive and addictive caused by and contributing to fluctuations in mood-stimulating chemicals called neurotransmitters in our brains,” argues Weil, calling it a biochemical craving for connection.

“The more powerful men are, the more risks they take, and the more risks they take, the more powerful they feel,” says the New York therapist at doctorbonnie.com. Short-term gains win over long-term consequences. “Getting away with it makes them feel 10-feet tall… the rush from the risk becomes all the reward they need.”

Weil says the logical part of the brain basically shuts down, leaving high potential for meting out mental or physical abuse, using manipulation with control and power to inflict devastating emotional harm on others.

Thrill-seeking, stress-busting and self-medicating quick fixes may provide an endorphin high, she adds, but ultimately “the very thing that they need to make them feel powerful is the very thing that will torpedo their public and private life.”

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Shift the power imbalance:

Give power to more women – they’re less likely to be corrupt and to dehumanize others when in power

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