In a matter of what seems like six months? What the hell happened? Was there some kind of bomb dropped on Ralph’s house that I don’t know about that rendered him homeless for the last four-of-six months, and in that time, he grew this heinous crapbag of a beard and grew his hair out to what I like to call “creepy-chic,” and then, on top of all of that, demolished all of his normally-on-point clothing choices and put him in mountain climbing campwear? I just don’t know, and I’m all sorts of concerned that Ralph is becoming one of those guys who stop giving a f-ck what they look like as they get older. And now, don’t get me wrong, there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that. I can tell you that I will, as I get older, give a f-ck less and less what I look like, but then, I’m not nearly as beautiful and interesting-looking as Ralph Fiennes, and nor will I ever be. It’s not OK for Ralph to give up on looking hot, because he’s way, way too good at it. I just don’t even know.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’d still hit it, but it’d have to be how like some crazy people are about pubic hair (AKA all grossed-the-f-ck out) and that beard would have to be gone or I wouldn’t even be able to look at him, much less touch him in an intimate kind of way. Yeesh.

Last, do you guys remember that story that circulated a few years back about how Ralph got freaky in an airplane with some random? Because I always thought that story was the hottest. The. hottest. Here’s a refresher:

The Qantas stewardess who claimed she rejected an amorous Ralph Fiennes on a flight to India has admitted having sex with him in an aircraft lavatory. Lisa Robertson told friends she was a big fan of the British actor and found herself luring him to the cubicle. But they apparently shared more than a 15-minute fling at 35,000ft.

Miss Robertson claims they went on to share a passionate night in a Mumbai hotel – at the star’s invitation. The Australian stewardess has told friends she recognised Fiennes, 44, as he soon as he settled into his business class seat, 2K, for the nine-hour flight from Darwin.

“I’ve always fancied him and to see him on my flight was a real thrill,” she told them. Later she allowed him to break aircraft rules by sitting beside her on the crew jump seat, which is used during their break. After chatting together, there was, she has admitted, a lot of ‘body language’ between them and even the odd kiss or two. She gave him her phone number. Finally she decided to take matters into her own hands. “I just stood up, reached down for his hand and told him to follow me,” she told friends. “We went into the toilet and locked the door and off came much of our clothes.”

She said they then had passionate and apparently unprotected sex.

Other crew members, more than a little suspicious, waited outside the door and later reported her to airline bosses.
Miss Robertson, 38, told friends she was so overwhelmed with the moment that she did not care who was listening, what they saw or what they assumed had been going on.

Yeah, I don’t know the relevancy of this story, either, but it happened back in 2007 (or at least, we heard about it back in 2007), and I just never forgot about it.

Yesterday, while showing you the answers that Ralph Fiennes gave for the Proust Questionnaire, I asked if any of you would ever be interested in hearing more about this dude. As of this moment, three of you said yes! And that’s good enough for me, friends. That’s more than good enough.

See, Ralph did this interview with Details and I thought, like I did with the Proust questionnaire, that he seemed really intriguing and kind of dark. Check it out:

On going from theatre to film: Film was something that happened if you were lucky—it seemed so far away. When I first filmed things, they were always slightly awkward. I remember going up for this film and people came into the drama school and looked at faces. When you went in for theater auditions, people would look at you acting—could you do it?

On his “rock star behavior” after Schindler’s List: I think that what you call “rock-star behavior,” lots of people have indulged in. It doesn’t mean that you’ve let everything go to your head. You’re under pressure, you play, and it gets noticed and written about. When I read about quote-unquote “rock-star behavior” now, I think I was in the beginner’s category.

On Maid in Mahattan: People would say, “When are you going to play something lighthearted? You always play dark, serious types or bad guys.” Then Maid in Manhattan came along. I enjoyed making it and have huge respect for J.Lo, who was, I think, terribly good in it. But that sort of light comic thing is probably not my strength.

On playing the villian: I don’t feel I’m playing villains all the time. I feel I’ve also played some very benign people. Voldemort in Harry Potter is kind of the high-profile villain. Of course the guy in Schindler’s List is a bad guy. No way around that one.

On that time that he made a small child cry while dressed as Voldemort: I wasn’t trying to scare him, but he saw me—I didn’t look like the Voldemort on the screen, but the child cried. The little boy in me was happy to have scared someone. Not in a serious way—of course not.

On having kids: Not at the moment, anyway. I haven’t made any firm decisions. But I can’t say right now that I have a huge parental urge.

On domestic life: I’m not very good at being domesticated. I’ve tried. The domestic life I find claustrophobic—the rituals and habits and patterns. I’m the eldest of six, and we’re all close in age, and that probably informs my reluctance to go there again. . . . This is a rather personal area. I don’t really want to be explaining the way I live.

On that time he was caught having sex with a flight attendant in a bathroom on a plane: I’m not going to comment on that. I’ve never commented on that.

On possibly being knighted: I don’t know if actors should be Sirred up. I don’t know. . . . I’m leaving you with an ambivalent silence.

Well? What do you think? Are we having some Ralph love around here or what?

Personally, I would love to learn more about Ralph Fiennes. I enjoy so many of his movies – Red Dragon, Chumscrubber, The Prince of Egypt, and of course all the Harry Potter movies – and he does seem like a super interesting dude. Not necessarily a great dude, but an interesting one nonetheless.

If you’re with me in your intrigue, today is our lucky day, because Ralph just did the Proust questionnaire! Are you as excited as I am? Then let’s get started!

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Swimming naked in the sea.

What is your greatest fear?
Being eaten by a shark.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
T. E. Lawrence.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Being too controlling and a bit obsessive-compulsive.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
The above.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Eating out.

What is your favorite journey?
From the dressing room to the stage and back again.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
That I can’t disappear more often.

I also do so love smart British thrillers. They’re generally done far better than American crime thrillers, which have an amazing excess of explosions, vulgarity, and obvious plot twists. I mean, if anyone knows class, it’s Voldemort, you know.

Additionally, Bill Nighy is in this movie, and if that doesn’t convince you that it’s probably a good idea to check it out, then you’re probably dead to me anyway.

Ralph Fiennes (oh so hot), who plays Lord Voldemort in the Harry Potter movies, did a recent interview with Newsweek in which he defended his evil counterpart’s motives and talked about what goes on beneath Voldemort’s slit-nostriled facade.

Voldemort on Voldemort’s evilness:

“He’s a demonic spirit. He’s a satanic force.”

When Voldemort felt like Voldemort for the first time, even when Voldemort wasn’t sure that Voldemort wanted to play the role OF Voldemort:

“As it turned out, I very much had a part in the way he looked. I found little physicalities in the role, and something always happened when I put those long, flowing robes on. That’s when I felt Voldemort.”

On Voldemort’s … dentures:

“I don’t have the wand, but I did keep the very convincing dentures they made for me. They’re in a jar in my study.”

On his loneliness:

“As for his loneliness, I do understand it. I don’t think he’s ever had a love life. He doesn’t know what love is; it’s a language he doesn’t understand.”

On the evil that lurks in the hearts of those who play Voldemort:

“Sometimes kids would come to the set, and I could see them looking at me anxiously. I once walked past the young child of a script supervisor, and he burst into tears. I felt very good about myself.”

Wow. You know, I know he’s bad and stuff, but at the end of the day? I’d totally do Lord Voldemort. As long as he didn’t talk all that much: that raspy, high-pitched voice of his kind of turns me off.

Deathly Hallows is so, so close, you guys. In a week’s time, you can mosey on down to your local movie theatre, crowd in to a dark room with a number of other nerds, and have such a magical experience. You can laugh during the Seven Potters bit, you can cry during, well, nearly every other part, and you can curse the world when the movie ends halfway through the story. Wondrous times are sure to be had by all.

The world premiere of the movie happened yesterday in London, and the cast celebrated this glorious occasion by being beautiful. Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint look fresh to death in their suits, and I can’t get over how amazing Emma Watson looks, even though it really shouldn’t be a shock at this point. If you check out the gallery, you can see Helena Bonham Carter looking like her crazy self, Ralph Fiennes showing remnants of Lord Voldemort and therefore making me feel a little weird for finding him attractive, more shots of Emma looking fierce as hell, and J.K. Rowling herself. You can also play a little game called Spot The Inappropriately Placed Death Eater!

Just in case Britney Spears had any surviving remnant of trust for the people she allows into her life, Isaac Cohen sits down with News of the World for a tell-all just weeks after their split. [Dirty Laundry]

The JT video for “What Goes Around Comes Around,” co-starring Scarlett Johansson, has hit the Internet. I’d comment on it, but after I’d watched for a minute or two, I was in too much pain to continue. I’d feel bad passing judgment without viewing the remaining seven freakin’ minutes. [POTP]

Someone leaked a topless photo of Jen Aniston from the set of The Break-Up. Hooray boobies! [The Blemish]