July 6, 2009 cont’d

So here I sit, in an ambulance, the love of my life near death in the back, his brother beside him, stabbed 6 times in the upper chest, arms, and shoulder. Tim’s wounds were mostly superficial. Simply broke through enough to bleed, though pretty heavily at times. Nothing a few stitches and a prescription won’t fix. Josh, on the other hand, had been bleeding so badly we couldn’t remove the towel long enough to survey the damage. We finally reach the hospital, after what seemed like the longest ambulance ride ever. They take us in through, not the AMBULANCE BAY, but a back contruction entrance??? What the BLUE FUCK is going on here? Once inside, my question is answered. The ER hallways, ALL of them, are lined with patients on stretchers, down both sides in some cases. We are led around a corner, Josh’s stretcher parked against the wall, vitals given to a cute little blonde nurse, (who mere moments later nearly gets the SHIT knocked out of her), and we are left to wait. WHAT??? My man is bleeding to death, passing out from blood loss, and you tell me to WAIT??? So, I wait. And I talk to him, lightly pat his face, squeeze his hand, ANYTHING to keep him awake, keep him WITH ME. I’m failing. He’s trying to speak, but so weak no words will form. Then out again. The EMTs had put a blood pressure cuff on his upper arm to slow the bleeding, but its not succeeding. I look up, and see blondie coming my way. “Where is the doctor?” I ask. “He’s with other patients. We have people dying here.” Oh what it took to refrain from knocking the blonde off that bitch. “Yeah? Well in case you haven’t noticed STUPID, my husband is one of them.” She looked down, saw all the blood, and how ghostly pale his face was, and took off, i HOPED to get a doctor. I hear a familiar voice, and look up to see Tim just down the hall. He is still at least upright, but as big as he is, its obvious his strength is fading. His wounds weren’t nearly as severe, but with 6 of them, he had lost a significant amount of blood himself. He mouthed the words “Take care of my baby brother.” I simply nod. He knows I would die for this man if necessary. At that moment, his girlfriend arrives, and I turn back to Josh. Still fading. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT DOCTOR??? GOD I HATE THIS HOSPITAL!!! As badly as I wanted to shout this to the world, I refrained. But only out of respect for the other patients. FINALLY I see a dr headed our way. “Here he comes angel, just hang on.” The VERY second he saw the injury, and realized the gravity of the situation, he immediately called for Josh to be put into a room. Well now. THAT’S more like it. Into the room we go. He removes the towel, and bandages added in the ambulance, and for the first time, I see the cut. It is HUGE!!!! I falter for a heartbeat. NO, I must be strong. I take hold of myself, and look at the doc. He’s a very nice man. We’ve seen him before. I was truly glad to see him. He’s one of the few halfway competent ones here. He looks at me as if to ask “Wanna leave now?” I shake my head no, and he reaches up and releases the valve on the bp cuff. Before it even began hissing air, blood spurted straight up. With every heartbeat. You could count them. I watched. 1. 2. 3. Then I said “Got the idea yet doc? He can’t spare too many more of those…” He tightened the cuff back, and began examining the cut. LOTS of internal damage. Muscles, tendons, veins, nerves, everything cut. To the bone. As he is dressing the wound with fresh bandages, there is a knock on the door. I have to tear my hand from Josh’s grip to answer. His mother. And their landlord. And only two people at a time allowed. By this time I desperately need a smoke, so as much as I hate it, I kiss him firmly on the lips, tell him how much I love him, and ask him to please still be here when I come back. I then leave the room, hug Tim on my way by, he’s STILL waiting for a dr, and go outside. Once out there, I see Joey and Pugsly. Thank God. Familiar faces. And ones who smoke. Didn’t take the time to grab mine, needless to say. They both grab me and hug me, and ask how he is. I just shrug. I wish I had something positive to tell them, but “Fading” was all I had. After giving them a few seconds to let it sink in, I ask if either of them know who has my kids. I hadn’t forgotten them, but knew the family was on high alert, therefore they were safe. Joey tells me they are with Heather and the kids, and their dad is on his way to pick them up. Ok. Great. I can breathe on that one. Just then, a sheriff’s deputy walks up, and asks if I am Mr. Booth’s wife. “Yes sir.” “I need to ask you a few questions about what happened.” I refrain once again from removing ones head from their shoulders, and simply say, “You already know what happened!! Why aren’t you out there finding the fucker?” I then toss my smoke and walk away. On my way back in the door I see Josh’s mom. “Lorraine is with him, but he wants you. I was on my way to get you.” It takes one look at the nurse behind the desk, and I’m buzzed back. She knows better than to envoke the Wrath of Kim. Yeah. They know us all here. I run down the hallway to Josh’s room, and as I open the door, I hear “…gonna have to send him to Charlotte. Too much damage. We can’t fix this.” “So why the hell are we still here?” I ask. Within ten minutes, I am once again in the front seat of an ambulance. Even after all my bitching and begging, the assholes wouldn’t let me ride in the back. This time the sirens are off, and for the next hour or so, we rode in silence, but for the sound of my voice telling him i love him, he will be ok, and the constant sound of the bp cuff being pumped, keeping the love of my life alive….