Necessary Roughness, Week 13: I Get Cheeky with Managament and Disgusted in General

I want to start this week with an apology to the readers who would like to hear my take on the Monday Night Games. I read your complaints and agree with them, for I believe that it is silly to have the column in on Monday. It makes it so I can’t report on the Monday night game. The Monday games are sometimes critical and as the season goes along they get more so. Because both teams that are playing tonight have play-off hopes, the best weekend wrap-up I can hope to give you on a Monday afternoon will not be able to include an accurate report on who’s going where in the NFC. Without the outcome of Monday night’s game, “The Hunt for the Wildcard” is a murky subject at best.

But I did complain to management, and was told “no.” Far from beaten, I figured I would deliver faithfully on Monday throughout the entire GWAR tour, and then re-frame my argument based on my loyal service, and then surely I would gain clearance to do as I wish and be able to report on the ENTIRE weekend of action. After all, it wasn’t as easy keeping up with the games as you might think it would be—it usually meant having to get up early on Monday (after a show the night before) and hitting the old laptop (or sometimes the local paper or even ESPN if the bus was parked in the right place), so I could review the weekend’s action, write the story, and get it in by mid-afternoon. But that’s what I did, the whole GWAR tour, and then came back to the Monday night question. And again I was rejected! This is what I was told by the guys that run this thing: “by Tuesday all of the Sunday games have been sliced and diced endlessly in the press and I don’t think people would feel the same passion for arguing about them anymore.” What? People argue about that shit all week, and read my column all week, and put up comments all week, and it’s completely relevant right up until they kick that ball THURSDAY night… yes, Thursday night! Does that mean I shouldn’t mention the Thursday games because people have had until now to argue about it? But this is the statement that really got me …”ït doesn’t make sense to me to trade that in [the passion people feel for arguing, I guess] to wait for only 1 (sic) game to be played.”

First of all, people arguing with each other (in a timely manner) are only part of the picture. In addition to arguing, they also enjoy READING about other people talking about the game, and they will do this ALL WEEK. Hell, they will re-read stuff, all the while listening to Dan Patrick! Sports Illustrated, the biggest sports magazine in the world comes out a few days after the weekend action—do you think people read their SI coverage any less avidly, or don’t read anything until it comes out because they are worried that it might spoil it? What, does Metal Sucks think they are actually scooping someone? But I am not bitching for no reason—we have to convince the editor of this column that we are right! Please, fill the comments sections with your reasonable requests to allow me to deliver this column early Tues. I would have longer to break down the weekend action, and would produce a better article in general. I know, there might be a couple of people out there going, “I liked it better when it came out on Monday”, but you know what? Once the people read a better article, that includes the reporting on the Monday night action, I don’t think anyone will give a flying frak!

I am glad we are bringing this to a head at last as it was anything but a normal weekend around the NFL, after Kansas City Chiefs LB Javon Belcher murdered his girlfriend (shooting her several times in the process), then drove to the Chiefs’ offices, where he proceeded to thank the staff, and then blew his brains out right in front of his coach (as the cops closed in, no doubt). I think KC Coach Cornell Romeo is about the luckiest guy in the world right now at least in the fact that he is still alive (you have to wonder how close Javon was to shooting up the whole place), and the Chiefs finally won another game to go to 2-9. Big whoop.

A lot of people are going on about the “culture of violence” the NFL supposedly supports. I think it’s a lot more about the gun culture of American society. But the fact that this weekend was the fifth anniversary of the gun murder of Washington Redskin Sean Taylor, and the off-season saw the shotgun suicide of San Diego future Hall of Famer Junior Seau, makes this kind of debate unavoidable. Did repeated concussions make Javon and Junior go crazy? Did steroids make cauliflowers grow in Lyle Alzado’s brain? It certainly begs further study. But I tend to think it has a lot more to do with the easy access of guns in our society, and how matters which would normally be settled in other, less lethal ways now tend to be settled with a weapon. And don’t tell me that people who want to kill people will still kill people. You are a lot less likely to stab someone twenty times than shoot them once. Sure, if the homicide is pre-meditated, like for insurance money for instance, you are probably gonna die even if that means having a piano dropped on your head. But I personally think if there were less guns lying around (especially dealer shows where there are no background checks, or “murder malls” as some call them), there would be less killings. And it really bothered me to here the Chiefs going on about “our brother, our friend… the murderer.” This guy murdered his girlfriend, orphaned their daughter, and then shot himself in front of several people, traumatizing them for life. And isn’t that about the WORST thing you can do? But people seem more pissed off at Bob Costas than Javon Belcher, for having the balls to talk about it during last-nights halftime show of the Eagles/Cowboys game, another good game I won’t be reporting on.

That’s it. I’m done, and besides, it’s two o’çlock, and I have to have this done so even if I wanted to write more (I do), I couldn’t. I am so disgusted by this weekend’s events that I feel it would be almost disrespectful to the victims (Cassandra Perkins and her orphaned daughter) to report on any games, and there were some good ones, too! Only the healing balm of a Redskins victory could possibly move me, and will, later! Kudos to the Texans, Colts, Packers, Pats and Ravens. No kudos to the Chiefs for not dedicating the game (or how about the whole rest of the season?) to Cassandra Perkins and her child. Both were the victims of the murderer Javon Belcher, who didn’t have the guts to face the justice his heinous crimes demanded. Too bad I can’t report on tonight’s Washington Redskins/ New York Giants game besides some kind of kooky preview that I won’t do. If I could, and deliver Tuesday, I’d have a comprehensive report of the whole league and the “Hunt For the Wild Card”, which is probably the best story in the NFL. But unfortunately, the biggest story has to be Javon Belcher.

O.K. comments section. Fill that thing up with the reasons why I should be allowed to turn in my story Tuesday and be allowed to report on the whole enchilada. Perhaps we can prevail our case upon the editors… c’mon Metal Sucks, it’s Christmas time, and I work for free — give the dog a bone! It would make the column better, which is the big reason I am going on like this.

LET BROCKIE TURN HIS STORY IN ON TUESDAY SO HE CAN REPORT ON THE WHOLE SEASON, INCLUDING THE MONDAY NIGHT GAMES!