Finch from American Pie’s one-night-stand had to be removed by the SWAT team

Never underestimate the amount of strange poontang even the most unflattering of movie roles will get you in LA. As Jason Biggs once told a friend of mine, “bro, I’ve gotten a lot of pussy from American Pie. …Like, a LOT of pussy.” (True story). But there’s a fine line between capitalizing on your stardom and, say, having a crazy person throw her pube shavings at you. A lesson Eddie Kaye Thomas, best known as Paul “Shitbrick” Finch from American Pie, learned recently when a woman TMZ describes as a one-night stand barricaded herself in his house and had to be taken out by flash-bang grenades. What do you think here, Stifler’s mom joke or Natasha Lyonne joke?

Los Angeles police on Wednesday evening fired flash bang grenades and tear gas into the home of “American Pie” actor Eddie Kaye Thomas after a woman barricaded herself inside the dwelling and allegedly refused repeated commands to leave, authorities said.
The woman, allegedly armed with a knife, was taken into custody after SWAT officers surrounded the Hollywood Hills home about 6:30 p.m., the Los Angeles Poliice Department said. Thomas was not at the home at the time.
The unidentified woman spent the night at the home, Neiman said. In the morning, when she was asked to leave, she refused and pulled a knife, and also destroyed property at the residence, authorities said. [LATimes]

You’ll have a hard time convincing your friends she was cute when they needed a SWAT team, grenades, and tear gas to take her down. “Dude, did you sleep with King Kong?” Anyway, you’re probably wondering where one finds a fine lady such as this. The answer? Mel’s Diner, apparently.

But here’s the best part — according to law enforcement sources Eddie met the chick the night before at Mel’s Diner, and brought her back to his place.
Typical one night stand, we’re guessing … until Wednesday afternoon when Eddie says they got into an argument, and she pulled the knife.
During the standoff, we’re told the woman smashed up a phone, a guitar … and generally trashed Eddie’s house before cops smoked her out. [TMZ]

“Typical” one-night stand except for the part where they met at a diner. I wonder what she was so mad about? Maybe he just ran out of syrup. I can understand how she feels, I hate that fake corn syrup bullsh*t too. It’s 100% maple for me or else somebody’s getting cut.

It’s not just any American Pie movie… it’s from the original, which is a classic, albeit now way over-copied teen sex comedy. The Sequels are shit, and absolutely unnecessary, but the original is pretty damn funny still. Anyway – they explain it right in the dialog of the movie.

I’m not onboard with American Pie being a classic. The premises are that a bunch of guys wait until the end of senior year to make getting laid a priority, fingering a girl is like fingering dessert and Chris Klein quits being a lacrosse bro to invent Glee.

One time a guy at a grocery store told me to kiss his grits. I gave him the head-cocked-sideways-quizzically look and he said, “I fucking hate cops.” I don’t know why he would say that. I’m not a cop. I was however beating him with a night stick.

This is why, if you’re a “celebrity,” you should have a neutral safe house that you can bring one night stands to and walk away from at any moment, should that evening’s arm-candy turn out to be a total psycho

“and generally trashed Eddie’s house…” It was totally worth it for the great story Eddie will be able to tell.
“Dudes, I am SO hot in bed that this one chick refused to leave. Had to get the SWAT team to drag her away, she wanted more of the Ed-ster’s lovin’!”