The part about doing a social service was just tongue-in-cheek, though obviously that didn't translate well! Haha.

I just generally ignore children or anyone else who is a stranger to me unless I have some reason to interact with them OR I'm in an explicitly social setting. If someone I don't know waves at me, I don't wave back. I assume they're either waving at someone else or for whatever reason they have no understanding of appropriate social behavior. To my knowledge, this has caused exactly zero pain and suffering for children and any other waving people. I don't high-five strangers either, in case anyone was wondering.

It's just pandering to the whole mothers-as-gods thing we have going on in the US.

In my opinion, if you are having a difficult pregnancy such that walking the length of a parking lot would be a strain, you should request a temporary handicapped sticker from your doctor. I am sure most doctors would be happy to provide that if you have a medical need.

The idea that walking a short distance could be harmful or a strain to a normal pregnancy is baffling. Many women remain very functional throughout their pregnancies and, if there are no complications, they are encouraged to continue low impact exercise (and a short walk is very low impact).

For those pregnant women (and for ANYONE) experiencing a temporary need to avoid physical activity, they should obtain a disabled parking sticker.

It probably depends on your reasons for being CF. If not having to be responsible for another living creature is at the top of your list, then yeah, it would be odd for you to want pets in lieu of kids.

For me, I'd like to adopt a dog in the next year or so. I don't mind the responsibility. A properly trained dog is not loud or destructive, and can be left at home for reasonable amounts of time without psychological or physical harm coming to them. Best of all, there is no social obligation to be around other people who own dogs, or to deal with other people's dogs coming to your house, or any of that crap that comes with having children.

Also, breed matters a lot when it comes to dogs. A number of terriers don't shed or have much of an odor (unless you neglect bathing them! But how would you smell if you didn't shower?), and are not prone to drooling. Also, if you're very dedicated to training, you can potty train a dog in a week or sometimes less. My mom's miniature schnauzer puppy had 2 accidents in the house before he was completely potty trained and he's 7 now and has never had an accident (except vomit but he can't help if he gets sick).

As far as them being a "time suck," couldn't you say that of anything? I mean, maybe you hate scarves and think they're dumb. I guess that 12 hours I spent crocheting a scarf was a "time suck" then, right? It's subjective. We spend our time on the things we want and enjoy.

But I actually agree with you, dogs and other pets are a responsibility. Hell, my house plants are a responsibility. I can't leave them longer than a weekend without getting someone to come water them (and hopefully tell them that they are pretty plants, yes they are). I don't mind responsibility. For me, that's not what makes me cringe at the idea of children.

tl;dr I'm CF but I have had dogs in the past and would like them in the future. That said, your reasons for not wanting dogs are entirely valid.

This is actually having a cool unexpected effect of helping me understand my boyfriend's perspective better too. We've talked about it quite a bit, but unless I ask him specific, directed questions, he's not great about volunteering personal information.

That's kind of what I was thinking too. Though in the case of adoption, I suppose a woman might be indifferent to the idea. Assuming that the responsibilities inherent in raising children were not, in themselves, objectionable to her.

As I said, I don't read everything. I didn't read that thread because I don't care about the breeder debate. Part of not policing means not patrolling.

As someone passionate about language and speech, I find the concept of hate speech interesting. Who decides what is hate speech and what is not? I feel that words only have the power that we give them.

And what I did in that post was not standing up for "what's right." I have my own ideas and opinions, but I don't presume to know better than everyone else. I'm just a wanderer like we all are. I try to share what wisdom I have, but everyone must find what's "right" on their own.

I wouldn't care, because a fetus is just a clump of cells. Just like I don't care when my body creates other stuff, a large portion of which ends up in my city's sewage system. I don't sob when my uterine lining is shed each month, because I don't care.

And I'm not the only person who thinks this way. It's best to recognize that your opinion is one of many - be careful not to project your own emotional response to abortion on the population as a whole.

It sounds like he's not just socially awkward - it sounds like he's very socially immature. If you want to be a good friend to him, you need to set boundaries. He needs to realize that he can't just get friends through you, that he has to forge his own friendships. And to do that, he has to learn to navigate social landscapes.

I have been in a very similar situation. When I started to be more firm with my friend (stopped mentioning names to her and would never tell her locations where I was because she would just show up uninvited, and limited my time with her to one-on-one interactions once or twice a week), she initially got very mopey and whiny. I think she felt entitled to social interaction.

But I kept it up, because I was tired of being ashamed of her behavior around my other friends (or even people telling me to never "bring" her again when I never even invited her in the first place!). It took about 6-8 months, but she actually made new friends! People I had never met before. She goes out occasionally with coworkers now and has become close with a neighbor of hers. And when we hang out now, it's not because I feel guilty, it's because I actually want to hang out with her.

I think my method was best for my situation, because, having known this friend for 12+ years and trying to "have a talk" with her before, I knew she would respond defensively and then brood. But if you feel open to talking honestly with your friend about these issues, that could be the best option too. Either way, it's important that you establish boundaries - for both of your sakes!

Ha. Well, honestly, I expect laughter to be audible. I think it's generally when someone has an incredibly loud laugh and they keep laughing over and over again.

It also depends on environment - if I'm at a bar, I expect it to be loud. If I'm at a nice restaurant trying to have a conversation, and I have to keep pausing in the middle of sentences to wait for some drunkard to finish their insanely loud guffaw over and over - yeah, I'm gonna start trying to kill them by shooting laser beams out of my eyes. On the other hand, if a group of people erupts into laughter once or twice, I probably won't even notice.

It's the same with the kid squeals. If it happens very occasionally, for short periods of time, I'm not going to get pissy about it. It's really only when it continuously happens that it becomes very disruptive.

Completely agree. It really doesn't matter to me whether a kid is happy or sad - it's their volume that gets me. Kids don't really seem to have any concept of volume, although, to be fair, some adults don't either. I don't understand people who can sit two feet from another person and basically just yell their entire conversation.

I'm just as annoyed when I'm at a nice restaurant and I can hear the conversation and ridiculously loud laughter from a group seated on the other side of the room as I am by children's noises. If your conversation OR your kid's noises are loud enough for someone to hear that's not directly next to you, hint hint - you're being rude and disruptive!

As a fellow apartment dweller whose balcony faces the pool, I commiserate. If it isn't the screamers, it's the ultra-tan party people with their tunes, cranking them up to ridiculous volumes.

I usually go elsewhere until it's closing time for the pool, and immediately call security if there's anyone still being noisy out there. During the summer months, I spend almost no time at home due to the pool noise. I will be moving elsewhere when my lease is up.

I don't park in these spots (I always park in the back of the lot unless it's raining, freezing, etc.), but I do think they're stupid. If it's at a baby store or something, not such a big deal. At a grocery store (I haven't seen them in Dallas, where I live now, but in grocery stores in South Florida, I saw them), this is ridiculous.

In a normal healthy pregnancy, you can walk perfectly fine. One of my good friends rode a bicycle to work up through her 7th month and kept active afterwards when her belly got too big for the bike.

If you truly need to park closer for whatever reason including a high risk or debilitating pregnancy, kindly request a temporary handicapped sticker from your physician. It's that simple.

There's no reason that extra spots need to be reserved for every lady that's knocked up. Cause there are a hundred reasons someone else might need a spot up close. Maybe they twisted their ankle and are running (limping) in to get some anti-inflammatory meds. Maybe they've got explosive diarrhea and need to run in and get some kaopectate. Maybe they've thrown out their back. Whatever. I see no reason why someone should immediately get a spot ahead of people with minor afflictions and reasons for wanting/needing a close spot just because they have a fetus in them.