Flashes of insight from the Everyman. Weekly observational posts. Part comedy, part philosophy, part temper tantrum, Lightning Bug's Butt is always good for a laugh and/or a place to send your hate mail.
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5/27/2005

Where there's smoke, there's a Marlboro

I miss the days before political correctness started persecuting smokers. I don't smoke. I never have. But I love people who do smoke, beacause they entertain me.

For example, remember when you used to see a lady filling her car with gas while she had a Marlboro dangling from her lips? And if you watched her closely, like I did, you could see the gas fumes swirl around the hot coal at the end of the cigarette. This excited me. I always rooted for ignition. It would have made for a great story to tell my friends at school.

People used to do a lot of cool things while they smoked: eat out at restaurants, go to the theater, prepare and serve food, even perform surgery. True story -- back in 1969, right after Armstrong landed on the moon and gave that "one small step" speech, he grabbed a Winston from behind his ear and sparked up right in his space suit! I guess the oxygen supply gave it a "smooth, intergalactic burn." Winston converted Armstrong's quote into an ad campaign in the early 70s. But the PC police censored this bit of NASA history out of the books.

Anyway, I hope smoking becomes popular again. Maybe I'll see a gas pumper go up in flames yet.