My boyfriend Dan and I got together after being friends for a year, during my second and his third year of university. When Dan finished university he was left with a choice; go back home to London or stay with me in my parents’ house in Canterbury. Thankfully he stayed with me meaning that we didn’t have to have a long distance relationship. (I know London to Canterbury isn’t that far but it would have been difficult for us to see each other as often as we would have liked).

Dan and I were only supposed to live with my parents for a few months until Dan had found a job and saved some money for a flat but despite Dan having a 2:1 degree its been hard for him to find a job, sadly that’s the world we live in at the moment. So a few months has turned into just under a year. These are the problems I have come face to face with while living with my parents and my boyfriend.

Arguments

This could be seen as a positive but when you live with your parents it’s hard to have an argument as after it’s done you are met with worried looks from your mum and her whispering “is everything alright?”. I’m lucky that Dan and I don’t argue that much anyway but being unable to vent sometimes leads to emotions being bottled up.

It’s also hard to have arguments with your parents when you live with your boyfriend, I have a rather rocky relationship with my parents at times but when I feel they have done something which is upsetting I can’t talk to them about it as I don’t want to put Dan in an awkward position.

Privacy

When living with both your parents and your boyfriend privacy comes in short supply, especially when you have a mum who thinks it’s fine to barge into your room announced. So it makes it hard if we just want to be alone with each other.

Sex

It has to be mentioned but this also means having sex is rather difficult, the walls in our house are paper thin so you can hear everything so it means you can’t have a loud, sweaty sex session for fear of your parents hearing. I would die of my embarrassment if my dad heard anything and I’m pretty sure if he did he would chase Dan out of the house with a broom.

But as soppy as it may sound I am more than happy to put up with any disadvantages that living with my parents may bring as it means being able to stay with my boyfriend. It can be hard living with your parents and your boyfriend but here are my tips how to make this living arrangement easier.

1. Let things slide- if you let every little thing your parents or your partner do annoy you, you’ll just make yourself miserable.

2. Put up boundaries- don’t let your parents come into your room without knocking, let them know that you want to have time alone.

3. Go out- have one night week where you go out of the house and do something fun like going to the cinema and so on.

4. Have a night away from your partner- once a month or so have a night or day where you just spend it with your friends.

5. Talk about things sensibly- If your parents or your partner does something that upsets you don’t make it into a screaming argument. Talk about what they did that upset you and ask them not to do it again. Chances are they didn’t even realise they had upset you.

I hope this post helped anyone who has a similar living arrangement to me. Please let me know what you thought or if you have any tips with a comment.

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2 comments:

I love this so much, although Paul doesn't live with us he spends around 90% of the time at mine and I am sure will move in at some point whilst we save up. The disadvantages are rubbish but knowing we aren't wasting money renting till we can afford our own house outweighs those. xxxLyndseywww.labeau.co.uk