Herring Jokes

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A Russian and a Jew (long joke)

On a train to Moscow, a Jew and a Russian army captain were sharing a compartment, the Russian was little bigot and have stereotype towards Jews, so he asked the Jew, "Hey Jew how come you all are so smart" The Jew was eating herring so he kept quite and didn't reply, so the Russian keep on asking h...

I once heard a joke about a Red Herring.

Maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime.

What do you call it when you have a fish on the line but it gets away?

Herring Loss.

Alternatively:

Q: Why was it so difficult for the old man to reel in his fish?

A: He was hard of herring.

Q: How can fish just ignore you completely?

A: They just tuna you out.

Q: Why is Timmy afraid to go ou...

Ben has one dog. Jake has two fish. How many fish are there?

Three. Ben’s dog was just a red herring

A father takes his son on a fishing trip

On their tiny boat, Little Tommy realises that that the floor is covered in a mess of different nets. He looks up to dad and asks, "Dad, why do we need so many kinds of nets?"

Dad smiles gently and looks into his young son's eyes.

"Back in my day, when I went fishing with my own dad we...

"What is the fastest thing you know?"

"What is the fastest thing you know?" the interviewer asked to 4 candidates.

Dave, the American, replied,"A THOUGHT”. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the inter...

TIL that Swedish Fish are actually shaped like Sweden, not fish.

Yeah, it turns out the fish part is a red herring.

The detective said, "Something's fishy about this evidence..."

Turned out to be a red herring.

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Classic Rocky and Bullwinkle pun

On a December trip to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, Ferdinand Feghoot was summoned to the local college, Wossamotta U. by Inspector Fenwick, the Chief of Police.

There he was confronted with an appalling scene. Bullwinkle, the town's leading citizen, had been smashed flatter than a kippered her...

I assassinated my friend...

I gave Miguel a cigar and lit the end. When it began to fizzle, he looked at me, puzzled.

"What brand of cigar does this?" he asked.

I answered, "Red Herring, of course."

And his chair exploded.

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Alan Finkelkraut goes to Israel to die...

Alan Finkelkraut, an upstanding member of the Teaneck Jewish community, upon his retirement at the age of 70 from the family furniture business decides that finally the time had come for him to make the move that he couldn't have before - to move to Israel where he can end his days.