I’ve never put any stock into horoscopes and star signs. Born in the early 1980s, I always figured myself beyond all that New Age mumbo jumbo, if that’s even what it is. Until, of course, the internet’s hysteria over possible sign changes hit me.

I was fairly distraught. Am I actually a Gemini? That doesn’t make any sense. I’m moody, I’m loyal, I’m mothering…all ‘signs’ point to Cancer. I don’t want to be a Gemini. And I wasn’t alone. Hundreds of people I know railed in opposition to this new finding. No one wanted a new sign, and no one wanted to be the new one, Ophiuchus. Isn’t that a transformer, anyway? Ophiuchus Prime?

It turns out, regardless of what kind of lip service people pay the Zodiac, we are somewhat attached to our sign. Even if we say that we define ourselves, it is apparently too easy to use a few adjectives here and there given to us from above. It becomes a part of us, regardless of how well it fits. We take what we like and leave the rest, and do what we can to make the definition of our sign fit us. We may say it’s unimportant, but does anyone not know what their sign is?

If you are wondering and haven’t seen this yet, here are the “new” signs.

But don’t panic. As is more and more frequently the case, a slow news day combined with lightning-fast social media held to no accountability and bored internet-goers, means that an article originally reported by NBC on a debate that’s been raging for years now (nothing new about it) from the viewpoint of one (that’s right, one) astrologer, has been lended the legitimacy of the news media as more and more outlets and aggrigators pick up the story, eventually leaving the NBC reference in the dust, and forgetting the name (and number) of the astrologer whose theory this was originally about. So to the average viewer, it looks as if this week we collectively decided to change everybody’s star sign.

Not true. Will we someday have to change our sign, and, therefore, our definition of the traits we have spent years honing? Maybe. But that day really needn’t be today.

Still, either way, I’m pleased to announce that my babies will be Leos with or without the new sign.