I am happy to announce that I am back from disability. Most of you know I was out because I had a baby, though I didn't specifically state this as I know the feeling of seeing everyone around you pregnant and having babies after you lost yours. It's a feeling that you wish you didn't feel, you know that you should be happy for them but you're really not. It's ok, I've been there.

I have all the requests that were made since Ive been out and will be writting names again. Feel free to send new requests as well. Although again I remind you there may be a little bit of a wait since so many requests were made while I was out and also add a newborn and a toddler to the mix and I just don't have a ton of time everyday. So thank you for your patience while I get to your requests.

As a side note I'd thought I'd share something I found interesting. So most of us know what a rainbow baby is. If not check out this post. So I always thought that it was only the first baby born after the loss of a child that was considered a rainbow baby. I had mine just a few weeks after my angel turned one. Then last month I had another child and I thought that they should have a special name or term too. They are just as special and precious and the mother is just as scared and nervous that something may happen. So when they are born healthy it's such a relief that this deserves to be acknowledged as well. Well I posted about this on my facebook page and another babylost mama reached out to me saying that she considered them all to be rainbow babies. The pain or storm may not be as recent but there are always lingering clouds. I found this to be so very true. I am fortunate enough to have two very special rainbow babies.

I have to tell you, rainbow babies give so much hope. And help us to move forward, to keep going. I know that it was because of my first rainbow baby that I am still here. There is no replacing the baby(ies) that have been lost.... I could go on to have 10 children but I will always be missing my dear Genesis. Holding my new daughter and gazing into her eyes I could only wonder if her big sister would have looked like her or made the same baby sounds. Having rainbow babies does help the pain but it's always there, I don't have to tell you that. And yes, I consider myself so blessed to have two healthy children. I have a history of Anencephaly (which mostly affects girls, and that's what Genesis had) and Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy (that only affects boys), both which are fatal, and so every pregnancy I am just terrified. I was also told when pregnant with my second rainbow baby there was an indicator of Down Syndrome. I was going to keep and love my baby no matter what, but this news was just another thing to add to my list of worries and anxieties. I refused to get an amnio and risk her life, so I wouldn't know till she was born if she was healthy or not. Thankfully she was. But I just wanted to share a little of my personal story of all the challenges and scares and worries I had to go through. You're not the only ones.

I get emails all the time telling me that they are so happy to hear of another rainbow baby making it safely into their mothers arms and that it gives them such hope. I'd like to pass on that hope to you all. Weather you already have a rainbow baby or babies, weather you are ttc for a rainbow baby, waiting to ttc for a rainbow baby or even if you are not ready for one... I send you all hope of better days ahead.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Most of the requests I get are from mothers but this service is open to all, yes fathers too. So this post is for you.

Though this Father's Day may not be as you planned, and though you may not have a child to hold or perhaps you have children but are missing one or more, you ARE a father. You were a father the moment that baby was concieved, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Today we recognize all the father figures in our lives. Dads, step dads, adoptive dads, foster dads, babylost dads, single moms and anyone else that has stepped up to the plate to be that person for you. Thank you for all that you do, but mostly thanks for being you.

About Me

In my journey in life I have had many roles. Single woman. Then married. Then forced to be a single mom and then a single mom by choice. And now Im back to being married. I'm am a mama of 4 beautiful children. 3 I hold in my arms one I hold in my heart. 2007 was the year my life changed when my first daughter was stillborn. Little did I know my world as I knew it would never be the same.