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6.19.2011

Up and down

Today marks one week in our new home. I've been struggling to get organized enough to get some proper photos to show you. We have little furniture to call our own, after living in furnished rentals for a year, and I've yet to find time to do a proper cleaning of the dirty floors and unwashed walls left by the previous owners.

Everything is only halfway done.

And I'm not feeling too classy about it.

I have a card table and lawn chairs in my dining nook right now. One wrong sized couch, no side tables, no lamps, no ottoman. And I lament the shelf in the living room, which is of boards and cinder blocks. Not that board and cinder block shelves don't have a simple living aesthetic, but it's only half constructed, a bit wonky, and the children keep stealing the boards to use for their own nefarious purposes.

Half dressed children, pasta for lunch again, obligations to work, derby and various public libraries neglected, most of my household still in the garage awaiting my attention. My focus is all wrong. If it wasn't my home I'd say it was a bit dodgy. As it is my home, I feel the urge to turn and run.

So my photos as of late are not quite 'show the world' type of photos, with my plastic crates and squalid rugs. They show, rather, how undone we've become.

I meant to wallow in self pity for awhile and moan about having to dig myself out, but I noticed that there are a couple of people in my household who don't seem to mind that the house looks like a 'before' picture on a particularly despicable home decorating show. The kids don't seem too upset, actually. They like actually pasta everyday for lunch. To the kids, this is all a grand adventure, though one with greebly floors and badly lit photos.

They've got a point. The house is a disaster, there is much to do, it's all not how it's supposed to be. But, really, so what?

Grow up. Or stop being a grown up and get a grip.

To my kids, muck is good. Stacks of boxes are treasure waiting to be discovered. Disorganization and randomness is exciting peril.

Nothing wrong with a bit of honest dirt, really.

Instead of waiting for the occasion when my life is a bit more picturesque, I decided instead I would go with what is happening and let the sordid now be what it is. Let the not so good show along with the good.

Lucky you.

This is more of a kind of making-do kind of blog anyway, not really a perfectly polished sort of type. Though sometimes I need to remind myself to loosen up a bit. The world will judge me no matter what I do. Might as well relax until I have a real problem.

So, here we are. All messy, all upside down, all sloppily hanging out and disorganized. I'm finding if I can let go of what should be and stop being afraid of a little work, this unraveled state can almost be fun.

18 comments:

You know, one of my absolute favorite things about your blog is that it is so honest. Who of us hasn't lived in chaos, struggled to create order and just wanted to chuck it all (and maybe the baby too)? Hang in there. Order will come in it's own way. Meanwhile, your kids are having a blast! (And you're reassuring the rest of us that normal is ok...)

I love it. I am not a fan of blogs where everything is always perfect. I like to see that the people I admire that do cool things, are still human. They like to have fun with their kids, and enjoy life. Thanks!

You are awesome lady. Your blog shows me cool and fun things to do, without making me neurotic because my life isn't picture perfect. Life is not a magazine, even a waldorf natural family living woo magazine, and I resent the people who make me feel like it should be. Messy houses are part of moving, your kids look like they are having a blast, and pasta for lunch every day never hurt anyone. Eventually it will work itself out.

Lovely to see a normal home! I tell my fella off for taking pictures with our disorganisation as background but he says "but this is how we live". I guess we all worry about striving for the perfect life but forget that to our kids the lives we lead are perfect and they are quite content. Enjoy your new home.

"The world will judge me no matter what I do. Might as well relax until I have a real problem." I just put this on a sticky note on my computer. & a few years ago, my husband bought me a mcmansion (ha! HE picked the house). Until we hired stagers so we could sell it, the only thing in the front room ever was one OLD couch & the kids' toys & it was the "showcase" room: 20x24 feet, 22 ft celings, etc. You get the picture. Get on with your bad-a$$, frugal, make-do, celebrating-life-as-it happens self! xxoo

I think you should cut yourself some slack! You've been in the house for just one week! We've been in our house for 10 months, and we're just now getting around to hanging things on the walls, finishing painting the last of the rooms, and getting the furniture arranged the way we want it. Hang in there :)

They do seem pretty content wit hthe extra space that having little furniture allows LOL! After living in the same house for so many years we have to much stuff. I just want to make a huge pile in the yard and set it on fire. So no matter what you do or have or don't have we all get that feeling of "this isn't quite right" except for the kids--they remind us that none of what we worry about is all that important as long as you have the materials to play cars or be a space ninja.

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Thanks for stopping by. I am a person, sewist, dollmaker, homeschooling mom, unconscionable reader and some other things that you probably don't need to worry about. Feel free to leave comments and book recommendations for me and to really get my attention, email me at cdbees[at]hotmail.com.

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