Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Buddy Rose: YOU GOT SERVED (By Diabeetus)

A wrestler by the name of Buddy Rose died yesterday. I don't know much about the guy except for the clip above which I remember seeing on Saturday Night's Main Event when I was a tiny fat child. According to the internet, Rose was probably 56 and he probably died by the cruel hand of Diabeetus. Thoughts AND prayers to Buddy Rose, some fat guy jobber from the WWF who will be remembered more fondly by old creepo touchers who actually watch wrestling from back before VCR's were invented. Stay Black Mr. Rose. You will live in my memories for at least the next 4 minutes.

Over on DVDVR everyone is so sad he died, I guess much like Benoit, no matter how scummy of a person you are, if you had good bumps, you are a saint. Maybe the two are teaming up right now in heaven as the Wifebeaters?

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6-3-94 Manifesto

In the days of ancient Rome men tried to best each other physically by imposing their will on one other. Sometimes this lead to the death of one of the competitors. Sometimes it lead to a friendship or brotherhood bond being formed. More often than not it ended with the two dudes fucking the shit out of each other. Faggotry and wrestling have long had a mutually parasitic relationship. Where faggotry is afoot wrestling cannot be far behind. Where there is wrestling you can rest assured that faggotry is nearby, jerking off furiously. This is the way it has always been and the way it shall always be. Though men have tried to change this dynamic throughout the ages they have all failed. Spandex, pyrotechnics, midgets, fake tits and sports entertainment cannot mask the overwhelming scent of gay that always accompanies wrestling. You can always be certain of these three things: The sun always rises in the morning, politicians always lie and wrestling will always be gay as fuck. We are merely observers; scribes charged with the duty of recording, analyzing and mocking this faggotry. These are our words.