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Going Down Memory Lane

APERTIF:“He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes.” Buddha

Old School Hip Hop For Young School Children

If you’ve ever had a kid, been around kids, or accidentally brushed past one at Target, then you understand how terrifying they can be.

Sure, some are cute with their disheveled hair and toothless grins and the way they aren’t afraid to come up to you and just start talking… oh wait, I just described homeless people. Well, I guess some of THEM are cute too.

But young kids are mostly just terrifying and for a whole host of reasons. For one, they’re ticking time-bombs to code-red, level-10, emotional meltdown derangement. Two, I’m fairly certain when they are talking to themselves in their room at night they are actually plotting our demise. Three, they use unique war-level torture techniques to make adults lose their damn minds.

Case in point, making you listen to the same Disney or cartoon theme song on repeat for hours (sometimes days) on end. Seriously, by the 27th time you have heard the Moana soundtrack, you’re ready to start confessing to crimes you never even committed.

We’ve all made mistakes in our lives – some more permeant than others.

I once replaced my parent’s bottle of Belvedere with water in hopes they wouldn’t notice (newsflash: they noticed). One time, full of tequila, I walked a mile at 2 am to serenade my crush at his house (somehow, it didn’t go quite as well as it does in the movies). Oh, and one time in college, I joined a “protect the wilderness” group which handed out pamphlets and yelled at people wearing leather. Not that I cared about the seals, mind you. That would have been far too moral. I did it because the leader of the organization was hot.

So, yeah, I’m pretty familiar with doing regrettable things. However, one thing I can say I’ve never done is get a tattoo.

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