YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Hunnies, did you watch that JAG program that was on the boob tube a few years ago? Your Mama did not, but it would appear that many folks did. We can't even begin to tell y'all what the program was about, but a quick look on the internet and we find that the critics saw fit to hand out lots of Emmy nominations,and three wins, to the program.

Two of the actors on that program, the good looking Mister David Elliot, and his wife, the good looking Nanci Chambers, are the owners of the Brentwood house we're going to discuss today. Naturally, Your Mama had never heard of either of these two, but another internet search tells us that the Canadian born Mister was included on People magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People in the World back in 1996, that he spent a couple of his early years honing his craft in Shakespeare plays, and he runs the Boston Marathon. For charity. Well isn't that nice? Your Mama believes in charity, we do, but we're not about to run around the damn block for charity, let alone run a distance that would take us across a state line.

The Elliot/Chambers house is located in a nice, non-descript section of Brentwood that sits in the morning shadow of The Getty Museum. The area is nice, it's Brentwood afterall, but seriously people, Your Mama is falling down with flabbergast and shock to learn that home prices top $3,00,000 in this lackluster part of town.

They used to say that a million bucks isn't what it's used to be. Well children, you heard it from Your Mama first, $3 million ain't what it used to be either. Lawhd children, most of the residences up in here don't even have backyard swimming pools. Which means that not only are you paying $3,000,000 for a house, but you gotta drag your flabby ass and loud children to the community swimming pool where you run the risk of contacting any number of foul diseases and where other parent-people will want to be your friend just because your children are playing in the pool together. Uhm, no. Your Mama would rather slip needles in our naughty bits than make play dates with Patty at the public pool.

Anyhoo, property records indicate that these Canadian bred television actors purchased their Brentwood house in October of 2002, which would have been towards the tail end of JAG's ten year run. Your Mama apologizes for not being able to bring you the actual sales price, but from the records we access, we're guessing they paid well under $2 million.

The house has been dressed up with a somewhat contemporary spin on traditional decor. We like the white sofas (we always like white sofas, don't we?), and the dark stained floors. We covet theGeorge Nelson bubble fixture above the dining room table, but don't think that particular size and shape was the correct choice for the room. We might have chosen this one instead. Although we are not so fond of the traditional cabinetry in the kitchen, and the pot rack upsets us considerably, we do like the large size and layout. And of course we appreciate the Viking appliances, which were a solid and expensive choice, and we particularly enjoy the nice peaked and beamed wood ceiling .

Out in the back yard, an unusually shaped spa spills into a "babbling brook" lined with stones. Sorry kids, we did not include a photo of this feature, but it sounds lovely to have a babbling brook out back, doesn't it? Generally speaking the back yard has been nicely landscaped and the tree ringed property provides excellent privacy for sunbathing in the buff.

Here's the thing with this house as far as we're concerned: It's not a bad house for a suburbanish family house, and clearly the couple have sunk some dough into renovating the kitchen and baths. None the less, for three and a quarter million clams Your Mama wants electronic security gates and a heated swimming pool. No question about it. For that amount of money we want to feel insulated and protected from the wild and dangerous streets of Brentwood, and have a recreational oasis out back.

Even still, we're quite sure some well to do mommy and daddy will soon come along, see this house and think it's purr-fection precisely because it does not have a swimming pool. No pool means not having to worry about the nanny falling asleep on the job resulting in the demise of Junior and Juniorina.

Given that the good looking Mister Elliot has landed another television job on yet another program we've never hear of or seen (Close to Home), we expect the couple and their two children will be moving to a slightly less non-descript neighborhood and into a house with security gates and a swimming pool. At least that's what Your Mama would recommend.