MLB Home Run Derby, 8 p.m., ESPN See the big boys break out their boom sticks tonight, including Evan Longoria. Too bad Big Papi won't be able to show up the Yanks in their own house.

China's Stolen Children, 9 p.m., HBO All that "one child per family" business has created a black market for children, as families often give away extra kids. Wait until all those lonely boys grow up and all the girls have been adopted by people in other countries ...

SEASON PREMIERE The Closer, 9 p.m., TNT Kyra Sedgwick is back for another season, Thank yew, TNT.

TUESDAY

MLB All-Star Game, 8 p.m., Fox Three — count 'em! — Rays made the All-Star roster this year, so it'll be worth watching (especially because it'll be the last at the House That Ruth Built). But really, we need to quit all this playoff talk; it's hubris to discuss the postseason until September.

SERIES PREMIERE The Cleaner, 10 p.m., A&E Benjamin Bratt is a reformed addict who helps other junkies kick their habits. We notice it doesn't necessarily mention drugs ...

WEDNESDAY

SEASON PREMIERE Dog the Bounty Hunter, 9 p.m., A&E Duane's back on the air, N-word free, so now we can rest assured he's a nice guy. Right?

Yankee Stadium — Baseball's Cathedral, 9 p.m., ESPN In case you haven't heard, Yankee Stadium is closing after this season. If you've ever sat in the rightfield bleachers when it was 103 out, you're not really missing it.

Fear Itself, 10 p.m., NBC Awesome! The long-awaited "wake up on New Year's Day to find the world populated by zombies" episode is finally here! We've been waiting all season!

SERIES PREMIERE Reality Bites Back, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Comedians parody reality shows in this new gamer. How many new jokes can they come up with? That's like having a show where football players pretend to be brutish monsters, or the White House pretends to be unconcerned about the middle class.