Social Question

What does it mean to be whole?

This is a companion question to this. Wholeness seems to be a psychological term about a more complete way of being human, or of being psychologically healthy enough to participate in a healthy relationship.

What does it feel like? How do you know when you are whole? Do you go in and out of it? What happens to change your sense of wholeness? What does wholeness mean?

To me, wholeness means feeling the connection between the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of my being. There may be things I lack, but feeling how everything fits and flows together makes me feel whole.

you defined well enough in the second sentence. hey, though, @wundayatta, analyzing and pondering doesn’t help, beyond a certain point. beyond that point doing those things get into an exercise in procrastination.

I would like to say that rather than you have here degrees rather than absolutes. so, relatively integrated rather than somewhat integrated.

anyway, like I said, @wundayatta, I think you have a good grasp on this if you can define it.

I will just pop ‘round your other thread with my idea of how to help with self-integration.

I am not sure that “being whole” is a goal one arrives at. One might find wholeness for a time. Because with new changes in our lives, like jobs, careers, kids growing up, major age milestones our equilibrium is shifted. Then we begin the whole process of re balancing to our new circumstances. Losing a leg could cause are prior identity to be shattered until we once again accept our lives with one leg. In terms of relationships I used to be a rampant co-dependant. I seem to have swung in the opposite direction. But I certainly don’t need a “partner” to feel whole. I have had in the past delightful friends that have contributed to my wholeness. I think that wholeness could be linked in some way to balance. Spiritual time (of whatever your belief system is) family time, a time for work, a time for rest. A time for fun. I am very content being alone. Perhaps too much so. Although I am finding enjoyment in other people again. For me at this point to be whole would be to seek out that, which makes me authentic. I have given up to much of what I love to do, in order to survive.

To me it means being centered… to know who you are and to be comfortable with it. In my own life, it seems to come more often with age and experience, although there is certainly no reason “being whole” can’t be experienced by the very young. Being centered means there is a core of unalterable mentation ( including experiences, values, beliefs, personal image, etc. ) to which you can return time after time, rather like “home port” in a storm.

I wouldn’t use that term, because there is no opposite, such as half or unfinished, but I believe you might mean without yearning. I got over that when I got over the sudden loss of my first husband. I was a zombie for nearly a year, with only my baby to keep me sane, and gradually I came back, but without any expectations. I made my happy pledge, and that works for me.

To be whole is someone who can give oneself endlessly, and when taken for granted or abused or betrayed by others there is something about them that doesn’t give up and keeps on going and love people just the same. Someone full of energy and life who can fullfill oneself without the help of others. A starfish, no matter how many times you cut off their legs…it grows back on.