Making My Husband a Priority…

Remember at the start of the new year I made some lofty goals to make 2018 great? One of the goals I set was to make my husband more of a priority and work on setting time to intentionally date my husband every week.

At the start of the year I was so inspired by the fresh start and so motivated to really remind my husband that even though we are parents now, we can still make time for each other. Well, fast forward to March and you will find this goal sitting by the wayside with everything else.

I mean don’t get me wrong I love my husband and I do want to show him how important he is to me, but oh my goodness mom life is so hard! There are so many demands on my time, cooking, cleaning, entertaining the baby, work (even though I am working from home and only a few hours a week), blogging, Instagram, etc. I feel like I barely have time for myself let alone my husband. Which then turns into wife guilt, is that a thing?

So, I have been inspired to get back on my new year’s goals and here is how I found the inspiration and hopefully the motivation too.

Have you heard of the 3 in 30 podcast? Well, Rachel (the host) did a great episode (episode 18) on speaking your partner’s love language. The person she interviews during this podcast is Celeste Davis who has a blog called Marriage Laboratory. During the podcast, Rachel and Celeste talk about 3 of the five ways Celeste challenged herself to speak her husband’s love language.

They started out by taking the love languages quiz to discover what their love languages were. Then Celeste picked a different love language to focus on each month. For example, in February she focused on the Words of Affirmation language because it was her husband’s number 1 love language. So every day in February she wrote her husband a love letter/email or text. Then the next month she focused on a different love language. You can read about her experiment here.

The key take away that I took from the 3 in 30 podcast interview with Celeste was you don’t have to wait for your husband to jump on board with you. This is something that I struggle with. If I am doing I want him to be doing too. But I started this challenge as a way for me to feel closer to him and for me to fill up his love tank.

There will be parts of the challenge where I will need my husband to also participate, physical touch and quality time are the two big ones I can think of. But I want to do this as a way of showing my husband, “see, look I do still care about you, look at these things I am doing throughout the day, week, month to show you that you are still a priority to me and I do still love you.”

I am going to take you along on this love language journey and I hope it will help you be inspired to show your partner that you do care about them. I know mom life is hard and there are a million things going on all the time in our life. But we (and by we I mostly me) I don’t want my husband to feel like he is just another thing to mark off the to-do list. I want him to feel loved, supported, and cherished, because after all, isn’t that what we all want?

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54 thoughts on “Making My Husband a Priority…”

I love this idea, and really enjoyed reading the book about the different love languages. I’ll have to look for this quiz online and (like you mentioned here) make time for my relationship and prioritize my bf. It’s been more than 6 years, and sometimes things can feel stagnant if we don’t breathe life into them, like with anything in life. Thanks for sharing this and will look for that podcast!!

I agree that we need to make our husband our priority. It’s so easy to get caught up with the daily grind that we forget to take that time. My husband and I will spend some evenings together during the week after our girls have gone to bed. That time is always much needed.

Love this and it really is so important! we have bought some of those 100 questions books to do with one another for fun after the kids are asleep just to keep it interesting. Haha! This was a great read. Thank you so much!

I love this! Can’t wait to see your journey unfold. As a wife to be I am always trying to focus on different ways I can make my fiancé a priority. We recently read the 31 creative ways books together and it was a great way to put our relationship first: http://www.31creativeways.com

This is a great post. It’s easy to “neglect” your hubby because you know he’ll always be around, but it really important and healthy to continue to love on each other, pay attention and spend that quality time. They say a happy wife equals a happy life but it goes both ways.

Love your post. It is a great idea.
We all need to invest in our relationship, give it the time and effort, nurture it. Doing things like you are planning to are so important.
Enjoy your month
Look forward to hearing how it all went. Would love if you did a recap post.

Love this! It is so easy to just push our husbands aside with all the chaos of trying to maintain the household and keep our children cared for…I am trying to make a point everyday to make my husband feel important and loved 💕

Hi Echo! Thank you for this post! I don’t feel so alone in this or abnormal. You are totally right in putting ourselves in their shoes. I have been putting this to practice over the past few weeks and it’s made a big difference! We/I am also learning how to communicate better and to say “I’m sorry.” I have also taken the love language quiz some years ago and think I might have my husband take it too! On the flipside, it is very much a two way street.

It is nice to know we aren’t alone. And I agree that it is a two way street for sure. But I also know that in times of struggle sometimes it just takes 1 of us to make the change. If we are struggling and I say you know what I’m going to work on telling my husband how much he means to me I don’t need him to be on board, but sometimes taking/making the first move really helps us out of that funk. You know?

What a great idea! Being a mom is super hard – I did surprise my husband with a movie that he wanted to see – during the week. I got his favorite take out to eat with the kids and our sitter (SIL) and then we went to an earlier showing so he could still wake up for work the next day. Date night isn’t always Friday or Saturday.

Before we got married, we went to premarital counseling. Love languages were apart of it. My parents were big on love languages growing up too. So we had a great foundation before getting married. We waited two years to have kids and that was the best thing we could have done! Now that we have kids, making each other a priority has always came easy to us!

That is so great! What a blessing. My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years. He owns his own business which has always been a huge consumer of his time. I wouldn’t change our lives, but it is definitely more of a struggle for us.

I’m not sure I can say enough about this post! I checked out the link over to marriage laboratory & they seem really awesome too! Loved the quote “marriage is that it is important but never urgent. There are no deadlines, no immediate consequences for letting your connection slip. So we forget our marriages take work and attention in order to thrive.” What a great way to explain that! Looking forward to seeing how your challenge turns out 🙂