but much harder to pull off In
real lIfe. these tWo troy hIgh
school students have a good
start

kin
THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE

Empty nEstErs

after the kIds move out,
parents have a varIety
of optIons for future
lIvIng arrangements

nEwEst addition

helpIng a chIld get
used to a neW sIblIng

GrocEry savinGs

keep a lIttle green
In your pocket WhIle
pushIng the shoppIng
cart

novEmBEr 2010

your childhood best friend?
Shea Conner
reporter
I actually had three
best friends when I
was a kid. I’m still
best friends with Jeff,
who became a father
in September. I see
ryan on occasion,
but we don’t hang
out anymore. And I
have no idea what
happened to beau.

Paul Branson
presentation editor
I had 67 good
friends in high
school. most of us
got together this
year for our 25th
alumni celebration.
It was amazing
how we all looked
a bit different but
were still the same
people.

Jennifer
Gordon | reporter
Our parents say
Julie and I met in
our church’s nursery.
22 years later, we’re
more like sisters than
best friends. Although
we never went to the
same school growing up, our families
celebrated important
holidays together.

Sylvia
Anderson
lead reporter
In childhood, my
sister was my best
friend. because of
school and jobs,
we developed
other best friends
as we got older,
but we still are
very close.
Have a story idea or photo you’d like to see in Kin?
Send it to kin@npgco.com or call (816) 271-8563.

Sylvia anderSon
A little about me:
Sylvia Anderson is Kin’s
lead reporter. She and her
husband have three children, one grandson and
a full-figured pug named
Twinkles. Although she
doesn’t like sports, she
has willingly watched more
sports games as a parent
than your average fan and
is now missing being in the
bleachers.

05 Try these tips for staying well this winter.
06 Add some flair to your family holidays with an easy-to-fold napkin decoration.
07 These performances are child’s plays.
08 You can make them any way you like.
09 Let’s salute these innovative toasters.
10 There are plenty of options for the empty-nest family.
12 Is it really a good idea for kids to develop a special bond with one person?
16 Help your child share the excitement of a new sibling.
18 Do something already.
20 Five ways to save at the grocery store.
Arm yourself AgAinsT illness | By erin WisDom

CreATe A fAn-TAileD nAPKin | By george sTAnTon

CoTerie THeATre | By Jennifer gorDon

Holy moly! sTromBoli | By DAWn forsBerg

ToAsT To BoAsT | By sHeA Conner

DoWnsize or suPersize? | By sylviA AnDerson
BesT frienDs | By TAmArA Clymer

On the cOver: Tanner Weishaar
and Amanda Clary have been best
friends for years.

|NOVEMBER2010.kin

We asked our staff the following
question: Are you still in touch with

Contents.NOvember10

Contributors

This month’s story by Tamara Clymer
about best friends immediately took me
down memory lane. It seems as though
I’ve had a best friend in about every stage
of life. The story also brings up a thoughtprovoking theory questioning whether it’s
best for kids to have best friends.
When I was a freshman in college, my
roommate was my best friend from high
school. We liked the same music, laughed
at the same jokes and even shared some of
the same clothes. (She was a good 6 inches
shorter than me, but if she wore platform
shoes, we could wear the same size.) It was
comforting to have someone I could trust
from my past to navigate the scary new
world of college. We did so much together
that someone once asked me if we had a
string attached between us. The beginning
of my sophomore year, the string broke.
My best friend decided not to go back to
school, and then my assigned roommate
didn’t show up. I can’t begin to describe
how lonely I felt. But it pushed me into going outside my comfort zone and meeting
new people, including the guy who would
later become my husband. So yes, best
friends can hold you back. Losing them
can be devastating. And in retrospect,
you should encourage children to include
a variety of people in their lives. But I
wouldn’t trade my experiences having a
best friend for anything.

03

The parenting plunge

The
choices
we make

By Betsy Lee

| November2010.kin

A little about me:
Betsy Lee is a freelance
journalist. She lives in a
perpetually messy house
with her husband, two
children and a neglected
basset hound mix. You can
e-mail her at
contactbetsylee@gmail.
com.

04

I want to go back. Back to when my grandma had her babies. Don’t
think it was easier then? It was. And I’ll tell you why. Choices.
We have too many Choices. Oh, sure. The women’s rights
movement rocked. Big time. When the dust settled women earned
the right to choose. Choose our leaders. Choose abortion.
Choose any career path. Choose to be with a woman. Choose to
have a baby — all on our own. BIG freaking choices. Then
enter the INFORMATION age. Wanna know something
— just Google it. Crude answers by the dozens. Baby doesn’t sleep?
Ferberize ’em. But that might cause brain damage. Co-sleep
then. But you might smother your baby. Breast-feed? Vaccines?
Cloth diapers? Attachment parenting? Time out? Go back to
work? Stay at home? Preschool. There are 10 in your zip
code. Ratings. Reviews. Montessori. Waldorf. Language inclusive.
Sports? Football or soccer. Baseball or swimming. Ballet or tap.
And you just gotta do Girl Scouts. Shuttle, shuttle. WAIT! Family dinner. Six p.m. sharp. Speaking of which … Food. Organic?
Value? Eco? Natural? Convenience? Antibiotic-free? Tasty? Local?
Fast? Homemade? Could he have a learning disability? Then what? What is
ADHD anyway? IS

SHE READY FOR A SLEEPOVER? His

knees hurt. Could be growing pains. Maybe attention-seeking. Or maybe, just maybe, he has cancer. Damn. CALL THE
DOCTOR. Blood tests, MRI or a CT? I don’t have a medical

degree, doc. You do. See a specialist? Sure, I LOVE paying co-pays
– but sometimes living without worry is worth it. Now we
need to talk to her about sex? How? When? Who?
And … sigh … where? If there is sex, should be it be in our house?
Should we offer protection? Or just hope that they aren’t stupid?
Is it even my business? What the hell happened to arranged marriages? SPRING BREAK? Are you kidding? Cabo? Or volunteer
work? Do I pay? Or let you foot the bill? College. Ivy-League?
Public? Loans? Do we mortgage our future for his education?
WHAT!? You’re getting married? OK. Love you. Gonna make us grandparents soon? Butt

out Mom and Dad. I’m an adult. I

make my own Choices.

I

Try these tips for staying well this winter

Arm yourself
against illness

stay
well

— Erin Wisdom, Kin magazine

|NOVEMBER2010.kin

Todd Weddle/Kin magazine

Hand washing is perhaps the most effective way to fight the spread of cold and flu bugs.

t’s that
time again:
Cold and
flu season
is closing in.
This is nothing
new, and neither
are the tried-and-true
tips for avoiding illness.
But Connie Bonebrake, the nursing
coordinator for the City of St. Joseph
Health Department, knows there’s no
harm in issuing a reminder.
“I know people hear the message,”
she says. “It’s just, how often do they
act upon it?”
Apparently for some, not often — at
least according to studies that show
a significant number of people fail to
wash their hands after using the restroom. This is unfortunate considering
that hand washing is the No. 1 defense
against spreading germs.
“People’s hands just continually get
germ-laden,” Ms. Bonebrake adds.
“Wash your hands, wash your hands.
... My kids say they’re going to put
that on my tombstone: ‘Wash your
hands.’”
Although not as effective as hand
washing, using hand sanitizer is also
a good precaution, as is wiping down
surfaces with sanitizing wipes. Ms.
Bonebrake notes that since the Health
Department started doing that on its
counters and office equipment, it’s experienced noticeably fewer employees
taking sick days.
She adds that just as important as
reducing your exposure to germs is
enhancing your immune system’s
ability to fight the ones it comes in
contact with. This requires getting
plenty of sleep, dressing warmly
enough to avoid becoming chilled and
eating good meals — meaning ones
that include fruits and vegetables.
“It may be harder to find them inseason,” she says. “So if you need to
buy the canned stuff, buy the canned
stuff.”
And water is a must, too — not only
because it’s good for you in general
but also because staying hydrated
helps keep the inside of the nose
moist, which in turn helps it trap
germs trying to get into the body.
And after you’ve mastered all these
tips, don’t forget to pass them on
to any young children in your
life.
“That’s a story of its own,” Ms.
Bonebrake laughs. “But they can
learn these precautions. And you
need them to, because anything
they might be incubating, I guarantee they’ll pass it on to you.”

05

How
To

Create a fan-tailed napkin
Add some flair to your family
holidays with an easy-to-fold
napkin decoration

1. cHoose yoUr nApkin

2. fold it

This type of fold will work great
for cloth or paper napkins.

Fold your napkin once lengthwise.
(The author is using paper napkins
and had to unfold it once for length.)

Back view

4. HAlf it

Fold about an inch up from the bottom. Then fold back
again in the opposite direction. Repeat until there’s about
2 to 2½ inches of napkin remaining.

Fold the napkin in half with the accordion fold to the outside.

›

3. Accordion fold

5. tUck fold

|NOVEMBER2010.kin

›

Take the remaining excess and fold a triangle
into the inside of the accordion fold. This will act
as the anchor to hold your fan upright.

06

6. UnfUrl
Illustrations and story by George Stanton
If you have a suggestion or idea on illustrating a how to, please contact George Stanton
at george.stanton@newspressnow.com.

Let the napkin unfold to create a fan shape. Place it on your
dinnerware to accent your holiday meal.

These performances are child’s plays

Coterie Theatre

day
trip

The Coterie
Theatre has
performances suited for
all members
of the family.

Kansas

City’s
Coterie Theatre knows even the
youngest audiences appreciate the allure of the
stage. Ranked one of the top
children’s theaters in the
country by Time magazine,
The Coterie produces six
Broadway-quality performances each season, three
for children age 5 and up and
three for the 13-plus crowd.
This year’s lineup includes
“The Wiz,” “Bridge to Terabithia” and, starting Nov. 1,
“Alexander and the Terrible,
Horrible, No Good, Very Bad

Day,” a musical adaptation
of the children’s book by the
same name.
The Coterie added an additional perk for families for
the 2010-2011 season: Something Fun Friday Nights.
Following each Friday night
performance, the audience
can participate in an event
where the Coterie either offers backstage tours, a meetand-greet with the cast or a
performance by a comedy
troupe.
“We’re trying to make
going to see theater more of
an experience,” says Karen
Massman VanAsdale, director of marketing and public
relations.
The Coterie’s location on
the first floor of Crown Center also offers plenty of other
activities for less thespian-inclined family members.
Tickets are $10 for kids,
seniors older than 60 and
students and $15 for adults.
On Saturdays, tickets are buy
one get one free courtesy of
Target. From Thanksgiving
to New Year’s Eve, prices go
up $2. For further ticket and
show time information, call
(816) 474-6552.
— Jennifer Gordon
Kin magazine

By Dawn ForsBerg
A little about me:
Dawn Forsberg is the
author of “Dawn’s Kitchen
Cuisine” and has won
numerous contests in
magazines such as Better Homes and Gardens,
Cook’s Country, Taste of
Home and Better Recipes
(the online affiliation of
Better Homes and Gardens). Before moving to St.
Joseph, she lived in San
Diego, Calif., where she
had her own business — “It
Dawned On Me!” — making and selling fruit salsas,
chutneys, mustards, soups,
salads and pickles. She is
also a vendor at the Pony
Express Farmer’s Market on
Wednesdays and Saturdays. She is mom to two
children, two stepchildren
and five grandchildren.

| NovemBeR2010.kin

S
08

dIrectIons

TODD WEDDLE/Kin magazine

tromboli is usually associated with Italian deli meats and cheeses rolled up in
a pizza dough and then baked. After letting it rest for a few minutes, it is cut
into slices and served with a side of pizza sauce for dipping. If you put the sauce
inside with the meats and cheeses, the dough tends not to cook correctly and can
be doughy. In this recipe, I switched out the Italian meats and cheeses for ham,
chicken and Swiss cheese, the classic Cordon Bleu combination. The topping sprinkled on
just before baking gives it an extra flavor boost and looks really attractive. If you cannot
find or don’t want to use all of the topping ingredients, use what you like or have on hand.
Using this basic technique, you can create an endless variety of strombolis. How about a
taco stromboli — cooked taco meat, grated cheese, diced jalapenos, chopped cilantro and
black beans (drained, rinsed and patted dry) — with salsa or ranch dressing served on the
side? Or maybe a bacon-cheeseburger stromboli — cooked ground beef, grated cheddar
cheese, grilled onions or diced red onions and bacon — with a ketchup-mayo-mustard
sauce for dipping? Use your imagination to come up with your own variations.

Preheat oven to 375
degrees. Sprinkle your work
surface with cornmeal. Take
the dough out of the tube
and spread it out into a
rectangle. Cut the dough
into four equal squares.
Cover each dough piece
with 2 ounces of ham and
2 ounces of chicken. Sprinkle each square with 1/4
cup of the Swiss cheese.
Starting with a corner, roll
toward the opposite corner.
Roll remaining squares
in the same fashion. In a
small bowl, mix the poppy
seeds, sesame seeds,
tarragon or basil, Parmesan cheese, garlic powder
and red pepper flakes (if
using). Brush the top of the
rolls with the olive oil and
sprinkle the herb/seed mixture evenly over the top of
each roll; gently press into
the dough. Transfer the rolls
to a 9-by-13 baking sheet
that has been sprinkled
with cornmeal. Bake in
oven for 13 to 15 minutes
or until golden brown.
Remove from oven and let
rest five minutes before
serving. Serve with a salad
or steamed vegetables for
a nice, easy dinner. Serves
four to six.

Let’s salute these innovative toasters

Toast to boast

want
that

Just about every kitchen appliance has gone through a serious makeover
in the last decade. Ovens now have steam and mist control so foods can
come out as moist or crispy as the cook desires. Dishwashers have separate drawers so pots and pans can be washed at the same time as delicate
dishes. Heck, refrigerators have HDTVs built in (somewhere in the world,
Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor is grunting in admiration).
But what about the often forgotten kitchen workhorse — the toaster?
Sure, the increase to four bread slots was a big deal back in the day, but
we’re living in the digital age. It’s time for a change!
And here it is. Each of these toasters is innovative in its own way, and all
of them look like Optimus Prime compared to the standard two-slot.
— SHEA CONNER, Kin magazine

EGG-CELLENT Are
you tired of waiting in the drivethru before your daily commute
to work? Then you might be
interested in an egg and muffin
toaster like the one created by
Chefscape. This toaster features four wide slots for bread
or muffins, round and rectangular poaching trays, an eight-egg
cooker and two meat warming trays designed for ham
or sausage. This particular
model costs $99 and can be
purchased at www.chefscape.
com. However, many egg and
muffin toasters with more basic features — like a two-egg
cooker — can be purchased
at stores such as Target and
Macy’s for as little as $35.

TOAST AS A CANVAS On the surface, the Pop Art Family Fun Stencil Toaster looks like any other. It
has seven heat settings and three
function settings (defrost, reheat and
cancel) and can toast frozen French
toast, bagels, English muffins, PopTarts and all flat pastry products.
But this toaster also can brand images and words (including “Luv U,”
a coffee cup, a birthday cake and
a smiley face) right onto your toast,
sandwiches and more. So next time
grandpa’s birthday rolls around, you
can make him a batch of toasted
birthday sandwiches instead of slaving over a cake. The Pop Art Family
Fun Stencil Toaster can be purchased
at Target for $29.99.

| NOVEMBER2010.kin

LOOKING THROUGH THE GLASS We’ve all burned toast from time to
time, but thanks to the brilliant minds at Inventables Concept Studio, that could
be a problem of the past. Inventables’ transparent toaster allows you to see
the bread while it is toasting so you’re never surprised if it comes out too dark.
This idea is based on a transparent heating glass technology in which copper
bars on each side carry electricity through a transparent metal oxide coating on
one side of the glass. According to the London Telegraph, European appliance
maker Magimix released a similar toaster in high-end stores earlier this year
after engineers spent 15 years perfecting the item. The sleek Magimix Vision
toaster is currently being sold exclusively by John Lewis stores in London.

ow wonderful it will be to have the
house back to just the two of us, I
used to think. When youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got three
children at home, there is always chaos and clutter. Just to have a clean bathroom to
myself and a laundry room not full to the brim
seemed like a dream come true.
But then it happened. My youngest child graduated from college and
moved away. Instead of being elated,
I cried. The house seemed so empty.
My husband and I began the debate of
whether we still needed four bedrooms. Should we sell the house and
move into something smaller?
But before anything could be decided, the kids started coming back to
visit, bringing their significant others
with them. It was wonderful, but with
all these adults around, our house
seemed smaller than ever. So instead
of downsizing, maybe we should go
bigger?
Kassie and David Newton faced a
similar situation as empty nesters
with a three-bedroom home in Wathena, Kan.
â&#x20AC;&#x153;When they left home, I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t
experience the empty nest so much
then,â&#x20AC;? Kassie recalls. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But when they
moved to Arizona, it just about ripped
my heart out. We talked about doing
a two-bedroom, but I wanted to put a
second story on so they could come
visit.â&#x20AC;?
And thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what they did â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and
then some. They also bought a building downtown that was used as a
beauty salon for many years. They
are turning it into an apartment to
provide more space for when the kids

ffKassie and David Newton and their dog,
Lewis, pose in front of their home in Wathena,
Kan. Despite being empty nesters, the Newtons
wanted to have enough room for their children
when they came to visit. Mr. Newton built the
home with a living space upstairs.
Jessica stewart/Kin magazine

visit, with the
thought that
when they no
longer can care
for the house,
they can live in
the apartment
half the year
and in a retirement community near
their children
the other half. If all goes as planned,
the whole family will be able to come
together for Christmas this year, with
eight people at the Newton home and
another four at the apartment.
The Newtons are actually the norm
for empty nesters, says Mahlona Diane Wylie with Clearview Organizing
& Design in St. Joseph.
â&#x20AC;&#x153;As long as yard work and house
maintenance is not a problem with
bigger space, most baby boomers are
tending to stay put,â&#x20AC;? she says.
But instead of leaving the extra
bedrooms to gather dust, this can
be a perfect time to create the room
you always wanted, she says. Change
bedrooms into a TV room, a private
sanctuary, a room for hobbies, crafts
or sewing or a showcase for collectibles. Make them multitask areas by
using hide-a-beds, sofas or love seats,
futons, pop-down divans or slide-out
benches with cushions for the stayover guest.
However, before you go wild with
the room makeover, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good idea
to have a discussion with your adult
child about how his or her room will
be taking on a new look, she says. Assure him or her that there will be still
be sleeping accommodations when
he or she comes home for a visit. And
have the person leaving the family

unit take what they can, selectively
picking out items to be stored until
they can be taken permanently.
â&#x20AC;&#x153;Some young people like the idea
of pawning their items to get extra
money or help with a garage sale to
help move items out,â&#x20AC;? she says.
Sadly, as much as you might want
to stay in your home, there can be
other considerations besides caring
for the house to consider, such as
finances. If downsizing is the most
realistic option, that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to
mean putting everyone up in hotel
when they visit.
â&#x20AC;&#x153;At my home we have a queen-size
sleeper sofa in the living room and
family room,â&#x20AC;? Mahlona says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We
have also used air mattresses. Those
are fairly affordable.â&#x20AC;?
The most important thing is that
when you decide to downsize, make
sure you are really ready.
â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t abruptly make the decision,â&#x20AC;?
she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Consider the pros and cons,
especially economical and daily living.â&#x20AC;?
Then when you are ready, here are
some tips from Mahlona for making
the most of your smaller nest:

â&#x20AC;˘ renting a storage unit can be a help,
but you need to keep in mind both cost
and convenience.
â&#x20AC;˘ When you are considering a new place
to live, think about how much storage
space is available.
â&#x20AC;˘ Measure new spaces before moving
furniture in or shopping for new pieces.
â&#x20AC;˘ Remember to use vertical space.
â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel you have to downsize your
furniture, too. Large pieces can look just
as good in small spaces.
â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Sylvia anderSon, Kin magazine

manda Clary and Tanner Weishaar have
been best friends for
as long as either one of them
can remember. Almost from
the moment they met in Mrs.
Boeh’s kindergarten classroom,
the two have been inseparable.
As kids they played on the
playground, rode bikes together, jumped on the trampoline and spent most of their
summers at the pool. In fact,
at times they were so close it
seemed they were able to read
each other’s minds.
“We showed up one day in
kindergarten dressed in the
same purple outfit and the
same shoes,” Amanda says. “We
didn’t even know we had the
same shoes.”
“We wore the same outfits a
lot,” Tanner says. “We had a lot
of the same stuff.”
Now as high school sophomores, their interests may have
changed, but one thing has
stayed the same. They are still
best friends.
“We do pretty much everything together,” Tanner says.
Please see Page 14

rever

Is it really a good idea for a kids to develop
special bonds with just one pal?
By Tamara Clymer WPhotographed by Todd Weddle

amanda Clary, left,
and Tanner Weishaar have
been close friends since
they were young children.

says she understands a parent’s instinct is to protect their
kids, to keep them from getting their feelings hurt, and
“We stay the night at each other’s houses a lot. We’ll spend
those feelings are normal.
two or three nights in a row and just switch homes.”
But so is the pain.
It’s the typical best-friend relationship — having that one
“I don’t think our goal should be to prevent kids from
special friend you can do everything with, who gets you
feeling or experiencing life,” the director of counseling at
and with whom you can share your secrets.
The Missouri Academy says. “It should be to guide them
According to a recent Harris Interactive study, most
through those things. We’re taking too much ownership of
American kids have that friendship — at least on some
our kids’ lives.”
level. The survey found 94 percent of Americans between 8
She says part of childhood is learning to navigate
and 24 years of age say they have at least one close friend.
the social world. When parents take that over, they’re
But it’s a fact that is also starttaking those lessons away. Without
ing to worry some educators and
them, she says, kids are left without
other child-behavior experts. They’re
the skills they need to get along as
questioning whether kids really need
adults. While the need to protect
to have a best friend. The classic
often comes from very well-meanbest-friend bond — the one where two
ing parents, it often just ends up
kids share secrets and do everything
depriving kids of the experiences
together — sends up red flags for
they need.
school officials already concerned
Kibler says kids learn a lot about
about cliques and bullying.
their world from friendships. They
“We know we can’t choose our
find out about themselves and about
children’s friends, but we can provide
their social world and how it works
opportunities where more than one
— some people are nice and some
friend is encouraged,” says Cindy
people aren’t so nice — and how you
Crouse.
handle that. Some of the lessons
The St. Joseph School District coaren’t so nice to learn, but they’re
ordinator of guidance and counseling
still important.
is worried about bullying and about
She says it is in those one-on-one
kids getting left out of the social
relationships where kids learn how
mix. She says parents should start
to have intimate friendships — being
encouraging young children not to
able to tell secrets, confide in someone
find one special friend but to interact
and trust in someone. It’s a level of
with whole groups of children. That
— CIndy Crouse,
intimacy that gets lost when all you
way, as their child grows, they will
coordinator of guidance and counseling,
have are these superficial relationhave a wide range of friends to choose
ships.
St. Joseph School District
from. She says the process will not
“It’s kind of like speed dating,”
only help your child learn good social
she says. “You get to know people
skills, it will help reduce bullying by discouraging the
superficially and then move on. You’re not really given
cliques that can develop when kids are allowed to have just
the chance to develop trusting relationships with
one special friend.
people. And even on a kid level they get that and want
She says it also will help prevent the emotional costs of
that.”
having a small social circle. As children grow, their interKibler says there are times when parents need to step in.
ests change and people move away. That’s when she says
If your child’s best friend is having a bad influence on your
it becomes even more important to have a number of good
child, or if the pair are involved in bullying or your child
friends.
is the victim of bullying behavior, you need to intervene.
“If a child relies on one best friend, it can be devastating
Otherwise she suggests you just step back and take your
when things go awry,” she says. “If he or she had a group
child’s lead.
of friends, then it is not quite as difficult to handle the
“Our job as parents is to guide, not to direct,” she says.
friend that does something to upset the other.”
Tanner’s mom, Jamie Weishaar, says she finds herself
For Crouse, the issue isn’t so much about not allowing
somewhere in the middle. The Troy, Kan., mother of three
a best friend as it is about encouraging several friends.
says she certainly understands her daughter’s need to have
She says by having a wide group of friends to choose
a best friend. She had a best friend in high school as well.
from, children learn what it takes to develop strong,
But she also tries to encourage all three of her girls to be
healthy relationships that will continue through life.
nice to everyone in their class.
Besides, she says, a person can never have too many
“Some of them don’t have any friends,” she explains.
true friends, regardless of their age.
“You don’t have to be buddy-buddy with them, but if you’re
“There’s nothing wrong in helping a child develop
nice to them that day it may make their day.”
a strong foundation of knowing he or she is well
Still, she says she’s not going to discourage her girls from
liked by his or her peers,” Crouse says. “There are
finding that special friend — as long as the relationship is
other ways to teach children how to handle life’s
healthy for everyone involved.
lessons.”
“I think it’s OK to have somebody that you can depend
But not everyone sees it that way. Dr. Jackie Kibler
on,” she says. “It’s just a balance.”
14
CONTINUED FROM Page 12

‘‘

| NOVEMBER2010.kin

If a child relies on one
best friend, it can be
devastating when things
go awry. If he or she had
a group of friends, then
it is not quite as difficult
to handle the friend that
does something to upset
the other.

Submitted photo

| NOVEMBER2010.kin

Tanner
Weishaar,
then 8 years
old, left, and
Amanda Clary,
7 at the time,
in August
2002.

15

| NOVEMBER2010.kin
16

todd weddle/Kin magazine illustration

New arrival
T

here are no guarantees on how
your child will take to a new sibling, but there are things you can
do to prepare them. For many families,
starting during the pregnancy is key.
From the very beginning, your child
should be on the list of people you share
the exciting news with. Remember to
keep the entire experience positive — no
matter how bad the morning sickness
gets or how many pounds you add on.
“We tried to include (our son) in everything we did,” says Peggy Monicker.
The St. Joseph woman says she and
her husband, David, would take their 8year-old son, Jacob, with them to many
of the doctor’s appointments — at least
the ones that didn’t involve intrusive
exams.
“He was probably more in awe when
we heard the heartbeat for the first time
than we were,” David says. “It’s a really
neat experience to share together.”
Here are a few ideas to include your
child in the excitement of a new arrival:

Help your child share the
excitement of a new sibling

• Talk about baby names and nursery
themes together.
• Let him or her decorate your growing
belly with body paints. It doesn’t have to be
elaborate and isn’t that messy.
• Encourage your child to talk to the new
baby. Nurturing conversations early between
them is a good thing.
• Take him or her with you on shopping
trips for clothing and accessories for the
new baby. Even let your child pick out an
outfit or two.
Once the baby arrives, parents need
to remember while they’re doting on
the new baby not to forget about other
children. Feelings of resentment can
occur when attention is shifted and not
shared.
In all the excitement and emotion, it’s
easy to get distracted and put most of
your focus on the new baby, says Lauren
Joslin of St. Joseph.

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“I’ve done it before without even
thinking,” says the mother of three.
“But it’s so important to not forget
about them.”
And there are still plenty of things
to incorporate into the care of the baby
that can include your child.

• Depending on his or her age, have
your child help with diaper changes, feeding and even bath times. If your child is
pretty young, simply asking him or her to
get the bottle, bib or diaper can be a big
help.
• Let your child push the stroller sometimes and even ask for help entertaining
the baby if you need to step out of the
room. Anything that makes your child feel
important too.
• When meeting new people, step aside
and allow your child to introduce the family
and the new baby.
— Jennifer Hall, Kin magazine

Expert Medical Care...

You
WeWCare
e Carefor
for
You

Expert

Whether in the doctor’s office, hospital or nursing
home, if you need a physician, we’ll be there.

your doctor...the one you know and trust. That’s what our patients get at
Platte Medical Clinic. If you’re in a hospital or a nursing home where
we are on staff, you see one of our physicians. We don’t use hospitalists
or other
doctors toCare...
see our patients,
a common
practice in
health care.Expert
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Medical
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Medical
Care...
We offer evening appointments three times a week and Saturday hours.
We see all ages from infants to seniors. We care for you...where you are.

St. Joe Corn Maze.
Come get lost Saturdays
and Sundays through Oct. 31 from 11
a.m. to 6 p.m. Advanced and beginner
mazes, hay rides and other activities.
$10 ages 13 and above, $8 ages 5
to 12. Children 4 and under admitted
free. 5521 N.E. Riverside Road. www.
stjoecornmaze.com.

18

10I24

Hoots and Howls.
Ride pedal tractors, enjoy hay rides, participate in Kid Zoo Art,
navigate through the rope maze, explore
the New Haunted Woods of the Valley,
and much more. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Kansas City Zoo. www.kansascityzoo.org.

10I25

Halloween program.
Scary stories, games
and crafts for brave 7- to 12-year-olds at
the Downtown branch of the St. Joseph
Public Library. 7 p.m. 232-7729.

10I27

Stone Lion Puppet
Show. Both kids and
parents will enjoy this fun, kid-friendly
show. Kids will have a great time with
other kids their age while watching live
entertainment. 10 a.m., Tomahawk Ridge
Community Center, Overland Park, Kan.
Free. www.opkansas.org,
(913) 895-6390.

Boo at the Zoo!
Bring the whole
family to trick-or-treat at the Kansas
City Zoo. It’s a safe, family-friendly
way to enjoy Halloween. Children of
all ages are welcome in their cos-

tumes. 9 :30 a.m. to 6 p.m. Oct. 30 and
31, with a costume parade around the
zoo from 1 to 3 p.m. both days. Activities are included with regular admission.
www.kansascityzoo.org.

11I13

Remington Nature
Center Second
Anniversary. Adult admission will be
reduced to $2 all day to celebrate the
Nature Center’s second anniversary and
to thank all patrons. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
www.stjoenaturecenter.info, 271-5499.

11I13

Second Saturday
Story Time. Come and
join in the Nature Center’s celebrations
of its second anniversary, complete with
a party, cake and pinata! 2 p.m. www.
stjoenaturecenter.info, 271-5499.

of contentment and the yearning
for achievement. 8 p.m., Carlsen
Center of Performing Arts at Johnson
County Community College. $25$35. www.jccc.edu/TheSeries,
(913) 469-4445.

good
stuff 10I20

Get a ‘sitter and
try out these
activities

10I20

Michael Bolton in
concert. Come see the
winner of two Grammys and six American
Music Awards and the seller of more than
52 million albums and singles worldwide.
7:30 p.m., Carlsen Center of Performing Arts at Johnson County Community
College. $50-$130. www.jccc.edu/
TheSeries, (913) 469-4445.

10I21

Third Thursday
Wine Tasting. Presented by Hy-Vee Wine & Spirits. Great
wine, great snacks, great art and great
conversation. This month’s tasting
will feature Sara Sullivan with Cellar
Selections of Major Brands Distributing. Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art.
5:30 to 7:30 p.m., $10 per person.
232-9750.

10I21

2010 Holiday Mart.
An upscale shopping
extravaganza that has become a fall tradition over the last two decades. Holiday
Mart features more than 200 specialty
retailers and attracts more than 22,000
shoppers. Runs through Oct. 24 at the
Overland Park Convention Center. $10
admission, or $20 for a multi-day pass.
www.jlkc.org.

The Capitol Steps.
Political staffers turned
musical satirists dig into the headlines to
spoof the scandals and screw-ups of our
elected officials. 8 p.m., Carlsen Center
of Performing Arts at Johnson County
Community College. $35-$100. www.
jccc.edu/TheSeries, (913) 469-4445.

10I22

Wonderscope
Children’s Museum
of Kansas City annual fundraiser.
Wonderscope invites adults to enjoy a
“Wonderful Night Out,” including a silent
auction of chandeliers designed and
commissioned by local artists. The venue, Terrace on Grand’s rooftop deck, will
give guests a beautiful view of downtown
Kansas City. www.wonderscope.org.

Sugarplum Festival.
The Sugarplum Festival
is an annual event that
kicks off the holiday season
for residents of St. Joseph
and the surrounding areas.
This fundraiser for the Albre
Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art
features an exciting shopping
experience, a holiday lunch
cafe, a special preview night,
a wine tasting and more. This
year’s Sugarplum Festival will
be held Nov. 11 to 13 at the
Albrecht-Kemper Museum.
233-7003.

10I25

11I18
11

10I23

East Hills Library
presents author
Marcia Schwartz. 6:30 to 7:30 p.m.,
East Hills Library. Schwartz will discuss
her book “Ghosts of the Missouri River:
Tales of Ghosts that Hang Out Here All
Along the Big Muddy.” 236-2136.

10I29

Quixotic Fusion
— Lux Esalare. Raw
artistry bonds with unpredictable aerial
maneuvers, ballet and modern dance,
original live music and high-fashion
design. Lux Esalare is the story of one
man’s decision between a simple life

Pints for Penguins. Join
the Kansas City Zoo for a beer
tasting at Pints for Penguins. Sample
beers from Boulevard Brewery and enjoy
tasty appetizers as you raise money to
bring penguins to the zoo. Also, enjoy live
entertainment and more. $25 for Friends
of the Zoo members, $35 for nonmembers. Online registration recommended
www.kansascityzoo.org.

19

| NOVEMBER2010.kin

money
views

20
photos.com

Five ways to save at the grocery store

Full cupboard,
empty wallet?
Well, you’re not alone. We all
wish we didn’t have to worry
about brand selection, prices and
Uncle Sam from time to time. We
would all have the super-whitening toothpaste and the best
detergent. We’d also have four-ply
toilet paper, fresh exotic juices and
gourmet meals every day.
Yet times are hard these days,
and it’s important to save money
in every way possible. An easy way
to save money is to simply watch
your spending at the store. These
five tips can not only help you save
hundreds of dollars but also can
allow you to cruise through those
store aisles with money in your
wallet.

Tip 1

Have a budgeT and sTick
To iT
By knowing how much you plan
to spend ahead of time, you will
stop yourself from overspending
and buying more than you truly
need. Try going to the store with
just cash in your pocket. Use only
that cash to spend on your items
and nothing else. Having a budget
can help you be more focused on
your spending and can get you out
of the store a lot quicker.
“The worst thing to do is to have
no plan at all,” says Patrick McMurry, professor of economics at
Missouri Western State University.

“Only buy the
items you want to
buy.”

Tip 2

use a
calculaTor

Calculate what
your total cost is
before getting in
the checkout line.
Pull out your cell phone or a calculator and add up the prices of your
items. By adding 7.47 percent (the
estimated sales tax in St. Joseph) to
the total of your items, you can get
a better idea of what tax is going to
be on your grocery bill. This way
you will be prepared when checking out.

Tip 3

use THose coupons
Coupons are everywhere! They
are in the Sunday paper, on previous receipts and probably all over
your fridge. Some stores have tabloids and coupon books that you
can pick up as you enter. Browse
online to see if you could print out
some electronic coupons.
“Use coupons, but use them
wisely,” McMurry says. “If you
buy items you normally wouldn’t
buy just because you have a
coupon, then you’re not saving
anything.”

Tip 4

prepare and don’T
wander
Before going into the store, write
a shopping list of everything you
want to buy. While shopping in
the store, go only to the aisles that
have the things you want to buy.
Wanderers beware: By browsing every aisle, you will be more
tempted to purchase something

you didn’t intend to buy, which
could pressure your budget. You
may be thinking that wandering
the store will allow you to see
more good deals. However, when
you see these good deals, you
might not want to pass them up.

Tip 5

sHop alone
Sometimes our friends and loved
ones tend to distract us. Kids can’t
live without their favorite cereal,
and spouses want a certain dinner
cooked when they see their favorite foods.
“Never take your kids when
shopping,” McMurry says. “It’s
always, ‘I want, I want, I want.’”
So, instead of taking your kids,
spouse or even friends along, try
shopping alone. This way, you are
able to stick to your budget and
won’t feel obligated to spend more
than you truly need.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics
estimates that about 12.5 percent
of the average family’s spending
goes toward food. With an average
income of $40,000 to $50,000 a year,
that price is close to $6,000. Lowering this percentage is the key to
saving hundreds of dollars.
“There are several things you
can do,” McMurry says. “When
shopping, look down at the bottom
shelf. All the expensive brands
are at eye level. Look at the cost
by ounce and the serving size.
Some foods lower in trans fats
have a lower serving size. Don’t
get hooked by that. Stay away from
processed dinners, as you are paying for prior preparation.”
Monitor your spending, plan
and don’t be afraid to try cheaper
brands or use alternatives. Use
these tips wisely and always remember to save, save, save.

| NOVEMBER2010.kin

H

ave you ever seen people wandering
around the grocery store, picking
up everything they see and mindlessly throwing items in their cart? Do you
ever think, “I wish I could be just like that
person and never worry about a cost in the
world?”

— Eboni LacEy, Kin magazine

21

Been there, done that

A series
of tests

By steve Booher

| November2010.kin

A little about me:
As a parent and stepparent, Steve Booher
has tried to keep his
sense of humor while
helping to raise five
kids. He doesn’t claim to
be the best parent out
there, but he says he’s
not the worst, either.

22

I’m sure the kid didn’t mean to cut me off on Frederick Avenue.
He was probably in a hurry to get on with his shallow, meaningless 20-something life and needed my lane to accomplish that.
I probably should have politely tapped my brakes and made room
for him. Instead I followed him to a nearby convenience store parking lot and yelled at him for being a road hog. Hey, that’s the risk
you take when you run into me and I’ve just given up cigarettes.
Yeah, I quit smoking.
That’s my excuse for
yelling at the other driver.
It’s a scientific fact that
nicotine withdrawal
makes quitters cranky
and short-tempered. So,
for the past couple of
months, I’ve yelled at
innocent people, acted
rude to those who didn’t
deserve it and have been
horrible to be around.
The best thing is that
instead of being hurt or
angry, people actually feel
sorry for me.
It’s great.
Giving up the smokes
is not an easy thing. But
it’s not the most difficult
thing, either. Earlier
this year, I’d had some
success losing weight
with hypnotherapy, so
I decided to try to quit
smoking the same way. I
downloaded a $5 app for
my iPhone called “Quit
Smoking Now,” plugged
in my earbuds every night
and listened to the hypnotherapy tracks before I
fell asleep.
I haven’t smoked for
more than two months.
During that time, I
discovered that giving
up cigarettes isn’t the
daily torture I thought
it would be. You don’t
have continual cravings
that drive you crazy.
You don’t drive around
at night and cruise past

gas stations and grocery
stores, knowing that they
sell Camels and Winstons
inside.
Instead, it’s more like
a series of tests that you
have to pass.
Can you not smoke in a
bar when you’re having a
beer with friends?
Can you resist the urge
to have that really satisfying smoke after you’ve
eaten a delicious supper?
Can you drive down the
highway and not light up?
When your co-workers are heading outside
to smoke, can you stay at
your desk? Or, accompany
them but not smoke?
My biggest quit-smoking test was golf. My
brother-in-law, Kevin,
and I sucked down a
pack of cigarettes each
round. We’d light up on
every tee box and some
greens. I figured after a
few holes I’d be desperate for a smoke. This,
I knew, would be my
ultimate test.
I failed. Then I passed.
About 10 holes into
the round, I finally gave
into the cravings and
bummed a smoke from
Kevin. While waiting
my turn, I took three
long drags from a Marlboro Light 100. Perhaps
I should have chosen
something less harsh

because when it was my
turn, I was so dizzy I
could hardly stand up, let
alone hit a small object
with a metal club.
I whiffed. Twice.
Disgusted, I dropped the
Marlboro and stomped it
out.
I haven’t had a puff
since.
Just so you know, I
haven’t declared victory
over tobacco just yet. I
smoked for 25 years and it
was more than just cigarettes. I smoked cigars. I
puffed on a pipe. I dipped
Skoal. I chewed Levi Garrett and Red Man. I liked
tobacco in all forms.
And I don’t think that
you can do something for
that long then quit for a
couple of months and say
it’s all behind you. Maybe
I will always be tempted.
Maybe five years from
now, I will have this overwhelming urge to light up
again. But I’ve done well
this far and that’s a good
sign.
And as for my ill
temper, well, that should
pass soon. I figure another nine or 10 months
of crankiness and I’ll be
right as rain.
In the meantime, don’t
cut me off while I’m driving on Frederick, man. I
will not be responsible for
what happens.