Steve Jobs is taking a leave of absence due to medical issues. Let’s wish him a speedy recovery because that iPod Nano which is actually a chip that injects into your skin ain’t gonna build itself. (HuffPo)

It sounds like Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz are finally and rightfully getting sick of each others stupid, annoying asses. (WIMB)

Hey, remember the evil scumbags who named their kid Adolf Hilter? Well little Adolf and his siblings have been removed by child services. Surprise! (EvilBeet)

Mickey Rourke, your time is up. Please to be making your way back to the has-been pile now. Thank you! (QuizLaw)

Check out this amazing behind-the-scenes footage from The Shining, shot by Stanley Kubrick’s daughter Vivian. (ASWOBA)

Here’s a six-pack of movies starring unknowns. I bet you guys could name a few others? And if you say Napoleon Dynamite I’ll punch you in the throat. (PW)

I can’t even begin to understand this product. Why is this the ultimate sex underwear? Is it really that hard to pull your dick out of regular underwear? So many questions. Mildly unsafe for work. Thanks to Clee Shay! (ballbra)

I know how you guys hate Paris Hilton stories, but this is one about how she was humiliated and kicked out of a Golden Globes party, so I think it’s probably acceptable just this one time. (The Blemish)

Not that I watch or anything, but that new judge from “American Idol” sounds like a real C-U-Next Tuesday; to borrow a phrase I picked up in the comments last week. (Celebitchy)

Here are 20 celebrity lives in Flowchart Form. The one about that Mystery toolbag alone made me cough up my drink. Thanks to Figgy! (Cracked)

Awesome: Get your very own photoshop palette stickers to slap over ads with women who have been grossly over-photoshopped. It’s defacing public property and educational! (AgentBedhead)

Because you know I’m all about helping out my fellow Pajibans, is anyone out there involved with high school marching bands or know anyone who is? Also, a rare opportunity to see one of our eloquents in spandex. Do not miss! (Rusty’s Ventures)

I know, I know. Far be it from me to get emotionally manipulated by a local news human interest story. But it’s a dog and an elephant, people! And they’re best friends! I’ll just be over here in the corner now…

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.