In addition, we’re now developing a new component to show them our upcoming features. This is where we’ll display mockups of new features and ask users whether they would like this new feature.

We want feedback from users regarding planned features so we don’t waste time creating something they don’t want.

It’s not about guessing what users want.

It’s about effective listening.

Now that I’ve shared some examples applied to business, I’d like to explain in detail the importance of effective listening and how we can improve it both in real life and our businesses.

What is effective listening?

Effective listening means you’ve fully absorbed what the speaker has said and made them feel understood.

In a study that analyzed the listening skills of hundreds of businessmen and students, the results were disappointing.

Immediately after “listening,” participants only remembered about 50% of what they had heard.

Half a year later, it dropped to 25%.

Often when we hear someone speak, we’re mostly focusing on how to respond when they’re finished. According a Farnham Street article,

“Listening is difficult because it involves suppressing your ego long enough to consider what is being said before you respond.”

So how do we suppress our egos and go from just hearing to active listening? Let’s start with what not to do.

What to avoid when listening

Don’t overuse of the word “I.” Author Tom Shachtman wrote, “The most frequently used written word in the language is ‘the,’ but the most frequently spoken word…is ‘I.’” Keep the focus on the person speaking and don’t shift it onto yourself.

Don’t interrupt. Put your ego aside and don’t assume you know what a person is going to say. Interrupting sends the message, “My words are more accurate or interesting than yours.” As lyrics by The Dynamos state, “The sound of our voices keep us from listening … We never intend to hear what each other say.”

Don’t multitask. As psychiatrist M. Scott Peck explains, “You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” If you’re speaking in person, make eye contact. If you’re chatting or interviewing users online, focus on your response — not something happening in the room.

Don’t be silent. Conversations are meant to go both directions. When the person has finished speaking, it’s natural to respond. You might say “It sounds like…” or “I’ve noticed that…”

How to be an effective listener

Do ask questions. Asking questions shows you understood what a person said as well as that you care to learn more. Try sentences like “Do you mean…?” or “Really?”

Do be empathetic. Try to understand how a person feels about what they are telling you. Ask them questions about their emotions. Sometimes, people just want their feelings acknowledged. Make a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing. Remember it’s about their emotions — not yours.

Do stay on topic. We’ve all had conversations where we desperately want to talk about something, but are disappointed when the conversation goes another direction. If you accidentally lead a conversation away from the speaker’s intended topic, help to steer it back on track.

Do make suggestions. This is a tricky one. Harvard analyzed data of participants in a program created to help managers improve their coaching skills. They discovered that those ranked as the most effective listeners tended to make suggestions. Just make sure you’ve checked all the other boxes before trying this one.

Moving Forward

The truth is, we all could improve our listening skills especially when it comes to properly using feedback to improve our product.

Our hearing has evolved to ignore most sounds, unless something seems dangerous. If we tried to hear everything in our surrounding environment, we would be hopelessly overwhelmed.

We need to train ourselves to focus our attention on people talking to us. We’re constantly looking at ways to gain feedback as well as give our users easy means to seek it as well.

But it’s difficult.

We need to ask questions, be empathetic, and give suggestions.

Most importantly, we need to focus our attention completely on another person, even if what they are saying is difficult to hear.

In summary, using Author Dean Jackson’s words:

“Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.”

Aytekin Tank is the Founder and CEO of JotForm. A developer by trade but a storyteller by heart, he writes about his journey as an entrepreneur and shares advice for other startups. He loves to hear from JotForm users. You can reach Aytekin from AytekinTank@JotForm.com