We cruised around in our tiny rental car until we saw the gazebo-shaped walk-up situation (it’s next to a gas station, if that helps – Google maps location here).

The best thing – well, one of the best things – okay, first of all, I don’t really understand the apostrophe situation on this sign here. But one of the best things is how one orders chicken at Sweet T’s: you don’t order a number of pieces or a set. You order in dollar quantity, and they serve you that quantity of chicken and you pay and go on with your day. For example:

Sorry, by end of transaction, I did not mean to say that there wasn’t also this interaction:

FCE (older lady): “Wait, I ordered four dollars worth of chicken! This ain’t enough, this is like one or two dollars worth!”
C: “I only heard you say two dollars worth. I gave you three dollars change.”
FCE: “Well I wanted four dollars worth!”

Mostly wings and drumlets. Simple enough, just a lot of chicken, crispy and delicious. A little on the dry side, which was exacerbated by our paucity of hot sauce. We definitely didn’t get enough hot sauce. Be sure to ask for more hot sauce. That’s my number one piece of advice to you when it comes to Sweet T’s (I guess). There’s no implication in the dollar amount of chicken you order that you’ll get a corresponding amount of hot sauce (I think this was maybe $8 or $9 dollars worth of chicken). Okay, enough about hot sauce.

The next day, we took a little drive from the Grace Bay side of the island to Chalk Sound, this spectacular vista of intense aquamarine and sweeping breeze. Along the southern shore of the sound is a vacation property called Neptune Villas, from which you can rent a kayak for a nominal fee (worth it) and whose restaurant, Las Brisas (Google Maps), offers lunch with a view.

Grouper filet with honey lemon sauce, plus smashed plantains and chips. Fish tacos, hot and crispy, and a few spoons of sweet relish on top.

We also made a night-time trip to Da Conch Shack (Yelp): the obligatory fresh conch salad (pretty great), some fried something something (not memorable), and a slice of key lime pie (with the graham cracker crust). It was also really windy that night, and combined with the sounds of crashing waves emanating from the almost-pitch black ocean, made for an interesting backdrop to a meal.

The next day, we – not surprisingly – went in search of more food. Found a place called Smokey’s, which apparently had moved from its original place of business near the water (it used to be called Smokey’s by the Bay) to somewhere decidedly less panoramic: the dark second floor lounge of a casino. Luckily we were getting our order to go, but then again, I’ve never truly believed that the environs and its dinginess or dirtiness should always reflect poorly on the quality of the food. Many of my favorite or most interesting Chinese and Southeast Asian restaurants have been somewhat ramshackle establishments, either street food or otherwise sanitarily dubious. And that was actually less so the case here – it was an odor not of vermin but of spirit, whatever gambling losses were incurred and discussed in that dreary place, the food was no worse the wear. BBQ ribs, grilled chicken, with dirty rice and a little slaw and avocado. I ain’t mad atcha, blackjack and dominos players – noon is a good of a time as any to wager part of your monthly salary! Then, on our last day in Providenciales, we took a lazy drive to the northeastern shore along Blue Hills Road, trying to slow down the time and delay our departure. We drove past Da Conch Shack, past some quaint homes and a church or two, to Three Queens Bar and Grill (Tripadvisor) (Google Maps). When we arrived, it wasn’t quite open yet, so we wandered along the shore to kill time, watching swooping pelicans dive for fish and noisy scooters putter on by, some stopping along the roadside ahead for a haircut or a friendly conversation. When we saw some movement around Three Queens, we headed back up the road and took a seat on the patio.

We ordered a similar meal as we’d had from Smokey’s: BBQ ribs and chicken plates, with beans and rice and slaw, this time with plantains. Side note: I love plantains. I’m no expert on island food, so I don’t know how to rank any of these per se, but the food was tasty, simple and flavorful, the ribs a little chewier than the version from Smokey’s, but the chicken was much more tender. The guy eating next to us, a Provo native who worked at the utilities company, ordered an okra gumbo of some sort, not on the menu, which gave me a slight pang of regret, until I realized that I don’t like okra. But getting the white-people-menu treatment definitely left an emotional scar.

We departed Providenciales with excellent culinary memories – including one not photographed at Mr. Grouper’s Restaurant (Google Maps) where we predictably ordered grouper and were well rewarded.

First of all, there’s Grace Bay. Look at this perfect nonsense. The sharpness and clarity of that pristine water, the arc and loft of the clouds. The sand is fine, soft, forgiving, like you’re strolling along on just wrapped in a blanket of warm memories, breeze on your carefree shoulders.

Then, if you drive to the southwest part of the island, there’s Chalk Sound, a majestic crystalline lagoon of this crazy teal color.You can go kayaking on that sweet, sweet blue. Just go rent a kayak from the little office at the Neptune Villas, a resort on the banks of the sound.

Then, circling back around to Five Cays, just east of the sound, there’s this long stretch of shallow water. This view from the tables at Bugaloo’s. The water’s not the most trustworthy here – those dudes are cleaning fish and conches. Five Cays is the fishermen’s side of the island. It’s a little humbler here, the resorts further away,

And then we were gone, lifted away from this idyllic wind and water, the distant coo of birds, seafaring wings swooping up and back and then disappearing like a heavy coin into the horizon.

The place is delicious – short lunch menu, just a handful of options, including a daily special, but Myra told me to get the braised oxtail and truffle potato purée. The red wine sauce was perfect on both the tender beef and the creamy potatoes. Simple stuff made well is always impressive, whatever country or continent.

It’s a wonderful walking city, in spite of (or perhaps because of) the snow. Everything’s actually pretty close, and worse case, you’re thirty minutes from the next thing. And there’s all this water and open sky. Reflections on ‘flections on ‘flections.

Look at this badass motherfucker. Courtesy of a gallery of old school portraits at the Fotografiska.Dropped by the Vasa Museum, where they have a reconstruction of an actual ship from a bunch of centuries ago when they made ships out of wood. Also, whoever made this particular ship fucked up real good because it sank after a few miles. By a few miles, I mean less than five miles. That’s about as good as those origami boats I used to make in third grade and put it in some sink water. But it does look like a pretty badass warship.

If it could only float.And of course, Stockholm has some cool shops. Check out this dope poster. City of champions indeed.

Filed under: Check it Out, Cities, Museums, Places, Shops]]>https://houseofhaos.com/2017/01/21/stockholm-sweetheart/feed/0haoinamericaView of Djurgarden from the Museum of Modern Art, Stockholm SwedenView of Djurgarden from Fotografiska, Stockholm SwedenStockholm, SwedenFat chef, Fotografiska, Stockholm, SwedenOrchid in Kungsholmen, Stockholm SwedenDjurgarden, Stockholm, SwedenVasa Museum, Stockholm, SwedenShipbuilding tools at Vasa Museum, Stockholm, SwedenPoster in Sodermalm, Stockholm, SwedenFika, fika, fikahttps://houseofhaos.com/2017/01/21/fika-fika-fika/
https://houseofhaos.com/2017/01/21/fika-fika-fika/#respondSat, 21 Jan 2017 23:26:37 +0000http://houseofhaos.com/?p=5634]]>Stockholm is all about dat fika, a culture of coffee and pastries that seems also to extend to a broad array of other drinks and snacks and sandwiches. Two forms of deliciousness, one liquid and one to eat. And folks take their coffee seriously, as much as they do their leisure time. There are a lot of young families in these shops during the day. So many baby strollers, and so many dads. God bless your 18-month maternity/paternity leave policies. I feel like such an American barbarian in that regard.

People with laptops and also with books. Homogeneous as all get out, but whatever. I still ride for coffeehouse culture. We visited a handful of places – Cafe String (Sodermalm), Drop Coffee (also Sodermalm), Bakverket (Bondegarten), and Snickerbacken 7 Cafe (Norrmalm).

Some breakfast pastries and coffee beans at Drop Coffee (Google Maps), also in Sodermalm. Across the street from the Sandqvist store where I got my backpack.

Mazariner (almond tartlet) and a jam shortbread cookie at Bakverket (Google Maps) in Bondegarten. The space has a more proletariat vibe, if you will, but whatever, they still put butter in the pastries, don’t they?

And later on our trip, we had ourselves a real healthy lunch at Snickerbacken 7 Cafe (Google Maps) in Norrmalm. It’s a really hip, but lovely space, and gets super busy around lunchtime, humming with meetings and mommy meet-ups and co-working and readers alike.

I remember visiting them years ago when they were just a pop-up inside of a Long Island City bagel shop in some warehouse-y stretch by the water, and there was already this rare sense of comfort and wonder about the food. Ippudo is reliable and reliably busy, Setagaya is a dive, Takashi is pure indulgence – those ramen spots have their feel and familiarity. Mu has a sense of refinement, sureness about its craft, and confidence in turning up the details and luxury in its versions of things you think you know.

Look at the beautiful uni. And ikura. And under that pile of rich umami goodness some nori rice and spicy tuna and rice. Fresh AF. And fried chicken wings stuffed with foie gras. A little decadent, delightfully crispy without being gummy or over-breaded or oily. A little dangerous to bite into because the foie gras is pretty hot. Delicious though. This deeply satisfying shoyu duck broth. So good. Interesting to have a non-chicken clear broth. The duck broth is gorgeously rich without being fatty, bright and complex, something you just want to keep sipping on a chilly day. The runny egg, creamy, just melts in your mouth.I don’t remember what this tonkotsu-looking bowl was – maybe the Mu Ramen? At that point, my mind was already a little mushy from deliciousness.

Filed under: America, Food, New York, Restaurants]]>https://houseofhaos.com/2017/01/14/mu-ramen/feed/0Houseofhaos Mu Ramen LIC New York Duck Broth ShoyuhaoinamericaHouseofhaos Mu Ramen LIC New York Uni Ikura RiceHouseofhaos Mu Ramen LIC New York Foie Gras Stuffed Chicken WingsHouseofhaos Mu Ramen LIC New York Duck Broth Shoyuhouse-of-haos-mu-ramen-lic-shoyu-duck-closeuphouse-of-haos-mu-ramen-licGramercy Tavern, Rounds 2 and 3 – Burgers, Burgers for Everybodyhttps://houseofhaos.com/2016/12/31/gramercy-tavern-rounds-2-and-3-burgers-burgers-for-everybody/
https://houseofhaos.com/2016/12/31/gramercy-tavern-rounds-2-and-3-burgers-burgers-for-everybody/#respondSat, 31 Dec 2016 23:09:00 +0000http://houseofhaos.com/?p=5145]]>The one thing that I didn’t get the first go-around in the tasting menu at Gramercy Tavern was the infamous burger, which is only available in the Tavern.

Gourmet burgers, the ultimate high-brow/low-brow question mark at so many restaurants in the city, have been having their moment for a while – and as much as I hate being a sucker for food media-driven trendspotting, when it comes to burgers, I’m still a sucker for a good one. Let’s be honest, I’ll always be a sucker for a good burger. And sometimes, even if you’re at a fine-ass restaurant, you want a burger. This is one of those burgers that won’t make you regret ordering one.

Most importantly, you can really taste the beef, the grind and the juices. The patty does not break into chunks. The bun holds its weight against the grease drip and the heft of the meat. I guess I’m not really surprised, but nevertheless it’s a damn delicious piece of culinary engineering.

Some stupid-delicious blend of beef cuts (a base of chuck, plus brisket and short rib). That’s a good mix, flavorful, still a little bloody, beefy/funky, fatty, done medium-rare.

Filed under: America, Food, New York, Restaurants]]>https://houseofhaos.com/2016/12/31/gramercy-tavern-rounds-2-and-3-burgers-burgers-for-everybody/feed/0haoinamericaoff-menu-burger-gramercy-tavern-new-yorkHouse of Haos Gramercy Tavern Burger 2 New Yorkimg_0735Gramercy Tavern, Round 1 – Lunch Tasting Menuhttps://houseofhaos.com/2016/12/30/gramercy-tavern-tasting-menu/
https://houseofhaos.com/2016/12/30/gramercy-tavern-tasting-menu/#respondFri, 30 Dec 2016 05:45:12 +0000http://houseofhaos.com/?p=5143]]>It took me several years before I finally made it to Gramercy Tavern. But I felt right at home as soon as I stepped inside with Francesca (whose sister works on the line at GT) and her friend, thanks to that gorgeous dining room. (Seriously, that restaurant is beautiful.) A lot of suits having power lunches, some Asian tourists, and the three of us scallywags sneaking away from work for this treat-yo’self-type situation.

I came ready to eat. The tasting menu, which at $65 (excluding drinks and before tax/tip), is of pretty decent value. On a broader note, a lot of fine-ass New York restaurants have really good lunch deals. More on that in later posts.

Bread. Butter. Yay.

Bread and butter to start, plus a zero-proof cocktail called the Cosmonot (pinot noir juice, grenadine, citrus).Probably a better pairing with the meats that came later, but a strong punch of tartness to kickstart the meal.

A spicy tuna tartar with heirloom tomatoes.Sweet corn and corn mousse with cherry tomatoes.A crudo with mussels, salmon roe, and cucumber broth.Light and fresh to start, alternating notes of spice, sugar, and salt.

Arctic char with corn, popcorn, and plum.This was probably my favorite dish of the meal, if not for the whimsy then for the tender fish paired in a beautiful way with that sliver of plum.This the second time I’ve been pleasantly surprised by fish and fruit (the other time: tuna and strawberry, courtesy of Arzak).

Ricotta gnocchi with beans and sugar snap peas, the ricotta melting away to a burst of springtime flavors (although it was late summer at this point).Sorry, snap peas will forever make me think spring.

Followed by a Gramercy take on ramen – eggy noodles with toasted crumbs and clams, like a Tokyo-bound linguine vongole.I’m a big fan of crunch in pasta, especially with that clam juice.

For dessert, a trifecta of red – rice pudding with raspberry and sorbet, strawberry tart with black sesame brittle, and dark cherry cheesecake.Those strawberries were superbly sweet, and by far my favorite part of the desserts.It was nearly impossible to move at this point, so the acidity of the sorbets was helpful as a lubricant to get the rest of our food into our bellies.

We rolled ourselves oompa-loompa style out the door and back up Madison Avenue to the office for a long nap.

We sat at a communal table for six people, sharing the same tasting menu, some with wine pairings and myself with the juice pairing. Initially, I didn’t know we’d signed up for the communal dinner, but it turned out to be one of my favorite meal experiences – not just in an asterisk’d way (like, favorite meal in a foreign country or something) – but one of my favorite meals. It was a four-hour marathon, paved with luxurious bites and flavors, blessed with laughter and stories, that showcased the magic connectivity of what good food and drink can conjure at a dinner table of strangers.

We started with some amuse-bouches. Not all of these I remember, but the bone marrow dish had a really nice clean finish. And I’m always about that head-on shrimp.

Oaxen Krog also served up some luxurious bread – some brioche knobs, some fresh butter, and this warm black bread, savory, sea-salt crunch, syrupy sweet. Basically cake with butter at mid-meal. It was cool to share the meal with Swedes who had grown up eating variants of these dishes, obviously more homey versions, to see them wax nostalgic about their childhood food memories and the long-ago places and times that these flavors recalled. I just love that stuff. Food with stories, with soul.

The rest of the meal was well-paced, pulsed with moments where you pause and go “hmmm, alright, I’ve never tasted that before,” moments where you nod wide-eyed at your table-mates, moments where you’re just chewing to yourself and trying to savor that last moment of fat and salt, and moments where you’re talking to your dining partners with a mouthful of food and drink.

The langoustine was dope, buttery, balanced by the smokey crunch of buckwheat. I loved the veal tartare topped with roe (great combination, Swedes), and the deep umami of the chicken stock emulsion was masterful. The quail was tender, nicely rendered. Also, first time eating reindeer, and having it raw with red cabbage broth, sunchokes, and blackberries was a delicious gateway to mainlining reindeer blood or whatever the next phase of this relationship is supposed to be. The desserts were both interesting flavor profiles, a blend of herbaceous and citrus and earthy, nothing overly sweet. Arctic berries. That’s the only place I get my berries from now. You crazy Nordics.

We were in Stockholm in mid-winter to visit Antony, an Australian friend from my year abroad in Paris who found a career in foreign service and who was now assigned to the consulate in Stockholm. Stockholm, and Scandinavia in general, was a first for me, so we’d lucked out having a second bedroom in a lovely, light-filled apartment in Kungsholmen as a home base for a few days.

A few of our meals brought us Oaxen, a restaurant on the quiet south side of Djurgarden, past the Vasa and ABBA museums (yes, it’s a thing). Oaxen is split into two parts, the more casual Oaxen Slip and the two-Michelin-starred Oaxen Krog. We ate at both, and had a swell time at both.

This post is just for Oaxen Slip, where we shared a meal with two friends who live in Stockholm. The fried mushroom, meaty and savory, was delicious. Whoever thought to butter-fry the rye bread is a genius – it inverted the experience of that dish. There’s a giant boat suspended over your head, which lends both a surreal quality to your dining experience, but also connects you to the idea of Sweden so far as I have any idea of Sweden, a country and a culture long on seafaring and seafood, on craft and simplicity. None of these dishes felt overthought or overworked – each dish was three or four things done well and in earnest.