The Forgotten Writer

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Being a Writer in a Relationship (For Writers)

Before we begin, I want to apologize for the lack of updates. Like I said before, I’m trying to focus on finishing my stories before the year ends. I’m thinking of recycling my old blog posts like other bloggers do. That way, new readers can find my old content. ^^

In the meantime, I’ll keep trying to update at least 1-2 times a week.

Onto today’s topic!

Today we’re going to talk about…

That’s right, relationships!

So yesterday, the man I’m with made a comment about how he missed the “old me.” To further explain, the old me was a lazy bum who didn’t do anything but go to work, play RPGS, and watch TV. Once I decided I seriously wanted to be a writer, everything changed for me. I was involved in writing communities, reading and writing all the time. And when I mean all the time, I mean all the time.

My focus was on improving my craft and not letting anything stop me from being a writer. What used to be me playing video games, was now me reading books on writing. At that time, I finally felt like a part of myself was becoming who I should have been – a writer. My happiness increased (and slightly decreased from writing stress) because I felt I was a part of something. I was growing into a writer, and my world was expanded beyond the boring reality I lived in.

However, with my newfound realization, it took a toll on my relationship. Instead of being readily available to hang out with, I was busy with chapters. When the work day was finally over, I needed to go online to check my stats and read other people’s stories. Needless to say, my relationship took a hit.

We fought for a while, and I was told I was obsessed with writing. To be fair, I was. I wanted to be a good writer, to learn everything I could about the craft. When you are building yourself up, it takes time, but you can’t ignore the people in your life.

After thinking about it, I decided I needed to work on time management. While I would love to write and read as much as I could, I can’t.

Here are some tips on how I balanced being in a relationship and being a writer:

Set aside time– There is only so many hours in the day to spend time with loved ones, so try to work around those hours. For me, the guy I’m with doesn’t wake up until 10:00 am or 11:00 am on the weekends, so I work early.

Explain to them your passion – After we had fought, I explained to him and my family why writing was so important to me. I even used explains of famous people like Steve Jobs and J. K. Rowling. If you want to build yourself as a writer, you need time to write. Once I was able to provide examples and show how strong my desire was, they understood.

Don’t get angry– If your loved ones ever get mad, and say you spend too much time writing, don’t get angry with them. Listen to their concerns and come up with an action plan. For example, for my guy and me, we both agreed that past 5:00 pm, I wouldn’t write. However, that does depend on what we’re doing that day. If he wants to go out, then I don’t write.

Again, I don’t want to make this post too long, but I hope this tips will help you in your relationships :3 If you ever feel overwhelmed, try not to. Other writers have done it before us and have been successful. We just have to find that balance with our own lives.

Being married well over three decades, we learned long ago to not only set time aside, but to make those times special. We also share all meals together in the dining room, even take-out…with no electronic devices of any kind allowed.

The mister is just as passionate about all things tech-related as I am about writing, so I listen to him rave about the next new gadget the same as he listens to me rant about the voices in my head! LOL!

It isn’t easy. It’s also super tricky. I try to find some time out of every day to devote strictly to my family. Sometimes I have to multi-task as there are never enough hours in the day but you are right, it is important to have time with your family. ^_^

I have a very hard time balancing. I am afraid writing and so many other creations is my relationship. Aside from rocks and minerals, music and my sweet tooth, writing gets the rest of me, for now. I love this piece and your talent for making us all feel like we are a part of more than we think we are, at times.

I’ve been in a relationship for 15 years now and I think an important part is getting your partner involved in the process and having clear communication. Let them know about what you’re doing and how you do things and so on. I started my epic fantasy series with my then-boyfriend in our teens, brainstorming the worldbuilding aspects and so on–he even wrote a little bit in the world. I’ve always made it clear that writing was very important to me. Now that we’re adults, after spending four years in an engineering career, I’ve decided to scale back and pursue writing more seriously, and he’s been very supportive. We talk about my marketing strategies and plot points and so on, and he started reading the books and has become my biggest fan.

For me, i do a lot of my writing in the morning. I let my baby son run wild and my wife gets to sleep in 😉 I also write late at night when my wife is on pinterest and Instagram, and the baby is asleep. 🙂

Writing is a disease – it can consume every part of your being and leave little room for anything else. I love this post because so often we writers can forget the impact we have on loved ones – who probably think we love our computers more than them! There are just not enough hours in the day!

I can totally relate as blogging is new to me…. I have been blogging only for about two months now and I am trying to learn a lot about how to do it well. Plus, I am loving it so I know I am spending too much time doing this right now…. but I feel after I learn more maybe I wont be doing it so much? maybe? I have started my memoir a couple years back and have not worked on that at all for a while. I need to get back to writing that as well. As far as relationships go…. I am a single mom and have a part time job. My youngest daughter is 16 and is busy out and about in activities and working and when she is home she is on her phone…. so I figure if that is what she wants to do then being on the computer then is a great time for me. I still have so much to learn. Thanks for you post. I enjoyed reading it.

It’s really hard, especially if you’re dating someone who doesn’t like to read!! But I like to think love always prevails. Making time for one another as well as time for personal passions/projects is vital.

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