“Mr. 3000” is only loosely based upon the controversial life of Barry
Bonds. Bernie Mac’s Stan Ross character, much like the real Bonds, is a
talented baseball player who is tolerated by the press, disliked by
teammates and respected – for his stellar statistics, at least – by the
fans. This story begins with Ross retiring after reaching his 3,000th
major league hit, which is the magic number Ross is convinced will
secure him a place in baseball’s hallowed Hall Of Fame. But 10 years
after his retirement, it’s discovered that three of his big league hits
were credited to him in error, which leaves him three successful
at-bats away from his golden goal of 3,000. And just to make darn sure
he gets all of his ducks in a row, Ross embarks on a professional
comeback in order to set the record books straight.

This comeback decision is the ultimate selfish act in a career already
characterized by consistently inconsiderate behavior. As the story
goes, Ross had originally left The Brewers midseason when he’d
supposedly reached his multi-thousand hit goal the first time around –
even though his team was still in the pennant race at the time and
could have certainly used his consistent hitting. Surprisingly, at
least by baseball standards, his old manager is still the skipper of
the team when he returns this second time a decade later. But not
surprisingly, however, this manager -- played grumpily here by Paul
Sorvino -- is none too happy to see his face again. Additionally, his
new teammates, who know his poor reputation all too well, and the
jilted and disrespected media are equally unthrilled to witness this
aging athletic encore. The team owner is about the only other person –
besides Ross himself, of course – who is salivating about this last
shot at statistical redemption, since this star athlete at least has
the chance to put a few butts in the seats to watch a last place team
finishing out its sorry season.

The humor of “Mr. 3000” kicks into its highest gear when Ross begins
training for his grand return to the big leagues. A decade of sitting
around bars, just drinking and reliving past glories, doesn’t do much
to keep a body in shape – even with a previously exemplary one, such as
Ross’s. Bernie Mac is at the top of his comedic game while making
frustrated faces at how all this exercise places such a strain on his
long dormant muscles. Even funnier, however, are the brief moments when
Mac’s character spends time with Fukuda, a transplanted Japanese
baseball player. Fukuda has learned enough English to get along in the
pros, but for whatever reason, his lessons in how to cuss American
style were somehow woefully lost in the translation. This makes for
some hilarious moments where Fukuda cusses out Ross, only to find Ross
reacting to these profanities with utter confusion rather than anger.

Ross’s old school old flame Mo is played by Angela Bassett. Mo is a
national sports reporter who has been assigned to cover Ross’s
professional second act. It is obvious that these two still have
feelings for each other, but just like almost everybody else in Ross’s
life, Mo has trouble completely forgiving the man for his past nearly
unforgivable deeds. Back in the day, Ross treated Mo much like any
other road groupie, instead of a whole person who had more than just
physically beautiful attributes to offer. At first, Mo is reluctant to
give into any animalistic sexual urges, but before too long Mo and Ross
return to the most familiar common setting for them – the bedroom. But
when Ross’s hitting prowess starts taking a long time to get back up to
snuff, and it begins to look like it’ll be a while before the
ballplayer re-reaches his 3000 hit pinnacle again, Mo must move on to
other more newsworthy sports stories. It’s a sad revelation when Ross
realizes that he’s not the only game in town anymore, both
professionally and personally.

Had this story remained harshly true to life, the producers would have
left Ross to stew in his own self-centered mistakes. But unlike, say,
“Curb Your Enthusiasm,” where Larry David is hilariously beyond
personal redemption, Mac’s character begrudgingly discovers the errors
of his past ways by film’s end. For instance, one of his muscular new
teammates -- aptly named T-Rex -- is the mirror image of the youthful
Ross. In T-Rex, Ross can see himself as a younger, more foolish man.
T-Rex is the Brewer’s biggest home run hitter, and just like the old
Ross, he only looks out for number one, without even a passing thought
about the team. Seeing the personality monster he’s inspired in T-Rex,
Ross begins to think “team first” for the first time in his grown life,
which leads him to put individual statistics second. This revelation
also gives him a chance to counsel T-Rex out of making some of the same
mistakes he’d made. There’s one pivotal moment where Ross is shown
inside his big luxury house, watching TV all alone. Baseball may have
been good to him, but because he wasn’t equally good back to baseball
or particularly nice to humanity in general, he's left by himself to
contemplate these bitter fruits of his labor.

Baseball isn’t the only area rethought here. In the end, Ross also
realizes that Mo is more than just a sexual conquest. His loneliness
causes him to become acutely aware of the companionship void in his
life. The movie ends by showing Mo and Ross as a couple, which caps the
story off with a nice touch of sweetness.

Putting all of this sweetness aside, the realities of modern day sports
are far less appetizing. For instance, this movie doesn’t even approach
the hot topic of steroid use in sports, specifically in baseball. At
the top of this list of steroid-using suspects is Barry Bonds himself.
It seems plausible that Mac’s character would also be a steroid user,
since he seemingly lived for personal success at any cost. But then
again, this film is stacked high with guest appearances by professional
baseball players and name sportscasters, folks who may not want to have
their names tarnished with such controversial subject matter.
Nevertheless, it does seem a little bit like a sin of omission not to
at least make mention of MLB steroid use. Even the most casual baseball
fan realizes that if steroids are being used by pro players, it
severely jeopardizes many of the league’s recent hitting and homerun
records.

This movie may not contain Bernie Mac’s funniest onscreen moments, but
because it gives viewers a few serious topics to ponder, it’s almost
guaranteed to make you think while you laugh.