Friday, December 18, 2015

1579 Planting Trump

1579 Planting Trump

Here’s a scary bunch of thoughts. What if Trump is a plant, someone who’s been working undercover -- maybe knowingly, maybe not -- for the Democratic party. Somebody who’s so outrageous he couldn’t get elected sheriff of Mayberry let alone President of the United States. Someone who is a fount of such preposterousness that it would be unthinkable that his candidacy would go anywhere.

And what would happen if by some fluke he won the Republican nomination and then the election?

When pigs fly. No, impossible. Nah. Can’t happen.

“Can’t” is a word of such strength and finality that it’s rarely challenged and rarely defeated except in the world of self improvement books and other fairytales.

Oh, and in politics, the art of self enrichment polished with a thin layer of lip service to public benefit. And -- only when necessary -- a small token of actual public benefit.

We Americans are generally first to circulate a conspiracy theory. It’s surprising that this one hasn’t yet come to life. Backroom Democrats fearful of losing to someone crazy, put forth a Republican who can out- crazy them all. And there are few you could accuse of out- crazying people like Rubio, Cruz, and those walking self- parodies, Jeb! Bush, Ben Carson, Rand Paul and Carly Fiorina.

Enter Donald Trump.

If there’s one thing we love more than conspiracy theories it’s bad boys, or at least people who play bad boys on TV and in the movies. Real bad boys are not as welcome in our hearts as the fakes.

Michael Corleone is more to our taste than Martin Shkreli or Jihad John. And who is more fictional than Donald Trump?

And why is he resonating with so many people? Is it because he says what they think? Is it because he makes us feel good about our inner violence, something left over from the early days of homo sapiens?

Probably not. We like violence as long as it doesn’t touch us directly.

We like punks from Queens who shoot their mouths off. Who better than Trump to get that vote.

So ask yourself this: If I want a second coming of the Clinton years, if I’m “Ready for Hillary,” how can I make sure she wins?

A two pronged attack.

Prong One: destroy the in- party opposition. That’s underway as the Sanders campaign faces charges of pilfering her data.

Prong Two: Find a credible crazy to run as a Republican.

Is that what’s happening? To help you make up your mind, two quotes:

“Nothing this evil can be accidental.” -- Novelist and right wing darling Ayn Rand.

“When you see a great Machiavellian plot (unfolding in America) it’s an accident.” -- Corporate miracle worker Frank Stanton.

Shrapnel:

--Michigan is a mess. The legislature is trying to fix it by repealing laws it thinks are no longer valid. Among them: swearing in the presence of women and forbidding “endurance contests” like charity runs and walkathons.