Do you think Grace and Millie really believed that they were protecting their children, or were they merely justifying their own predilections?

Created: 04/30/12

Replies: 3

Posted Apr. 30, 2012
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admin

Join Date: 10/11/10

Posts: 369

Expert

Do you think Grace and Millie really believed that they were protecting their children, or were they merely justifying their own predilections?

Grace and Millie have diametrically opposite reactions to losing their husbands, and both think they are trying to protect their children. Do you think they really believed that or were they merely justifying their own predilections? What effect does Grace’s behavior have on her daughter Amy? What does Millie’s have on her son Jack?

Posted May. 10, 2012
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kathrynk

Join Date: 05/21/11

Posts: 40

RE: Do you think Grace and Millie really believed that they were protecting their children, or were they merely justifying their own predilections?

I've been thinking about this question. My sense is they did what they knew how to do. Without going back into the text to see if I had "read it right" -- my reaction as I read was -- how sad. And it seemed to me neither woman saw what was happening to their own child. For what ever reason, protection or self justification, they did what they did. For me, there is that feeling I get sometimes while watching my adult children-- if I knew then what I know now -- would I have done it differently? Maybe -- I guess good books make us ponder some of these issues. What do you think?

Posted May. 10, 2012
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michelleh

Join Date: 05/10/12

Posts: 4

RE: Do you think Grace and Millie really believed that they were protecting their children, or were they merely justifying their own predilections?

I tend to agree with Kathryn K. I think we all do what we know how to do, especially in extreme circumstances. Emotion and instinct override logic in those kinds of situations. It's great to ponder these issues, but we are all predisposed to certain kinds of behaviors, actions and reactions. The death of a parent is going to affect a child in a negative way. The grief of the surviving parent is going to affect a child in a negative way. Every parent wants to shield her child from that kind of sorrow. Unfortunately, whatever a parent's reaction might be, nothing can truly "protect" a child in that situation.

I think it's interesting that the author chose to show two such extreme methods of dealing with grief and loss.

Posted May. 16, 2012
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kathrynk

Join Date: 05/21/11

Posts: 40

RE: Do you think Grace and Millie really believed that they were protecting their children, or were they merely justifying their own predilections?

michellleh -- I found that interesting as well. Perhaps she felt it was necessary to get the reader's attention. Their responses certainly reflected their own feelings of grief and loss. And she also showed us the effect onthe children -- which gave the it all more of an impact. If we haven't experienced that kind of loss ourselves can we guide a child through loss in a healthy way. There are programs today that help children work through grief issues. We have come a long way in that regard - thankfully.