Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fix on the brain.

You know that when people have no money, even the buying of cheap toilet role becomes a breaking the bank saga.

I to can feel the lonely pound coin burning a tennis ball sized hole in my pocket as I contemplate where to stick this last weighty piece of gold.

"Ummm...Some drum sticks."

Now I don't mean waiting until the clock passes into a new day and then popping down the fruit humps to claim the left over chicken drummers that Mr Kebabies is about to throw out for the foxes.

Nope I mean those chewy sweets.

Yep my last pound and I would spend it on a chewy lolly.

Bare with me I'll explain.

I've just spent the weekend with my family and after a very relaxing couple of days I was left to ponder on the goings on of the weekend. Now myself and my sister have always had a very strong and loving relationship. And therefore anyone who comes into contact with her is welcome into the family with welcome arms.

She is now married and this has given me an amazing new set of friends. It occurred to me though that when I was younger I always used to feel older and more responsible for her than today where i definitely find myself feeling more child like.

I live with friends and at present have no young lady in toe, therefore my responsibilities are largely non existent.

I enjoy being the younger brother, I enjoy the role of clownish side show and I enjoy the chewy drum stick!

It's to bad we have to grow up though isn't it.

We were talking about sideways steps in life and getting on through life. And I guess this is what made me think on this years future.

We need to take some very definite steps. I know we have a lot of work coming up, and I'd like to carry it all out with energy and decisive planning, organizing, leading and controlling.

We could be top of our game, people should be saying "Wow there is a new company around and they are really bloody good."

Ideas are great and the gimmicks and clever ideas on a shoe string come as part of that. But you can't have these with out solid foundations.

Friday, February 08, 2008

"I don't want to play!!"

The words uttered by a class of young people scared stiff of looking stupid before the rest of their ideological group.

"What do you want to do then?"

"Nothing, we normally sit here and talk."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing! And stop asking me questions."

"Umm...ok! I'll continue with the rest of you who do want to have a laugh, and learn something."

"I want to learn something!"

"No, you just said you want to talk!"

"Na! I want to...."

"Go on...."

"Well just...laugh!"

"Listen give me a chance, give me twnty minutes of your time and if we get no where, we'll talk about why we haven't acheieved anything."

"Ok then."

"Great, right lets all pretend we are cats and mice. No, not like real ones! Tom and Jerry style! Ok!"

To be honest I didn't expect them to go for the T+J style of playing a game. But I was surprised.

It's shocked me today how close to the burden and harsh reality of life some children are.

One young lad began to openly shed water from his eyes as later we looked at a simple focuss line. Just the simple pressure of a room of class mates (whom openly throw thoughtless words of discouragement) looking at him doing nothing but taking part was to much for him. (He recovered and a massive part of my heart opened there and then.)

The staff at my new job are great. Very giving people. Trained teachers with an air of friendly authority. How can I possibly help?

I found the answer today after one young lad said to me "I don't want to play!!" As I observed the group, seemingly so wrapped up in the mighty 'cussing' war, It dawned on me that things are very different to when I was at school. We wanted to play all the time. Today if you can get through a lesson without ritual arguments you are doing well.

I guess i'm beginning to see more of what you need to be a teacher. I might be wrong but it almost appears that the giving that one affords for the youth of today, (our future) is wrapped in protection. Like a parent who protects a 10 year old from 18 certificated films.

Why do you have to fear standing in front of the group. Why do you have to 'cuss' and lash out as if it's the most natural thing in life.

There is fun to be had.

Well, I'm not going to bring out the bubble wrap. The gloves are off! What can I do to help?

Care!!

As the group relaxed and realised that i'm not as crazy as my 5"6 stocky frame suggests, they began to trust. Only once they could see I was not there to make them look stupid would they enter into the session.

I'll use this as a starting point. Names I must get to know their names!! Identity is going to be important!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Working in a right angle.

Have you ever had those moments in life when everything is rolling along quite nice! You seem to know where everything is going and you are happy with your knowledge.

Bang! You do a John Wright workshop, and your brain crumples like a screwed up piece of paper, in the hand of Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Politician!?) Hehehe! "I'll be back!!!" "Kohagan give zees people aierrrrrrrr!!!"

Now i'm in a new world as my brain jumps, bounces and appears to be laughing from within it's own basket/pin ball machine.

Add to this the fact that i'm now on a night shift at an adult video making studio, yep a night watchman in porn palace, and maybe you can begin to see my silly, yet soon (and hopefully forever) embodied situation.

I thank you mr Wright, my two friends John and J and all the other Wright school graduates of 'Metaphor' and 'Play and the Pleasure Principle!'

I now have the terrible/delightful problem of dealing with my new, tainted with bright adolecent colours and unfolding brain.

Oh well looks like it might be a warm February! And an annoying one for those around me who don't know what game i'm playing.

My clown of Edinburgh 2002 has been recalled just in time. Isn't it funny how some times things happen all in sink. Wow! I'm now in my new job working with a year 7 class at Sedgehill school. I hope they are ready to roll.

You see!!! It's inprinted some new and amazing prospects already. I get to laugh all day with several different set of students. Playing games, awesome!

Friday, February 01, 2008

I noticed that there were less birds.

January is over, another January under the belt. Many of my friends share a view that January as a month is the worst.

I'm not sure why?

We have been busy since October getting ready for a larger scale holocaust memorial performance, and although we weren't completely satisfied with the end result, on the grander scale of things it went very well. This took place in later January and although this took up all our attention, it's not the reason I think Jan should be hailed as miserable month. Nor miserable's opposite..erm pleasurable?

What do you intend to get out of the year? When are you going to take a break? Who are you going to meet? I've been asking myself these questions throughout January.

I'm not of the assumption that all of these questions fit into one evening, and cease at mid-night. "When then, we all set off into a new year, forcing ourselves into forward thinking, and running into the narrow minded streets, walls both sides." ZW

I like looking over walls. I'm not bloody spiderman. Although when i was a child i often thought different.

January has meant that i get a chance to think about the year whilst actively living in it and looking around. That in turn has given me a chance to remember stuff i'd forgotten from last year.

The beer mats with the word 'easy' written on them that gave me and two like minded friends a very pleasurable evening. In which we enlisted there help to show interested passers by how we were feeling.

The fact that when we emerged out of the channel tunnel I noticed having had not much sleep that there were less birds flying in the sky. I wondered if this was synonimus with the rest of France.

Alls i'm saying is don't put yourself under unneccasary pressure. Don't build the brick wall tunnel on new years eve. Have fun.