Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Staying strong

On our way home from hiking Sunday, I got a message from my mom on my cell phone. My uncle had called her to let her know my grandmother (my mom's mom) had a stroke. I believe that my aunt was with her at the time and they went straight to the local emergency room. The local hospital couldn't do a CT scan on Sunday, so they moved her to a larger hospital about an hour from home when they were able. My grandma has been in poor health lately, she's fallen more and more and broke her arm 2 weeks ago. I don't know if the stroke could be at all related to her arm, but her health seems to be on the decline more and more. After my mom got a little more information, she called me to let me know she'd be flying out Monday morning and that she would update me as soon as she could. After I couldn't get a hold of my brother, I called my dad.
Although my parents have been divorced for some time, I knew that he would want to know and I knew that he would make me feel better. My dad is good in an emergency, he stays calm, rational, and supportive. Its funny for me, my parents are two very separate people. They live on opposite coasts and obviously have very different lives, but Siskiyou County, California remains in their shared past. My dad's brother actually works at the local hospital where they first took my grandmother. So I talked to my dad for a bit and we continued our drive home. Since then we've been sitting and waiting.
I haven't gotten an update yet this morning, although I know my mom made it to Medford, Oregon last night. I'm sure she was exhausted from 12 hours of traveling, but her plan was to go straight to the hospital. And I don't really know what to do with myself.
I want to be strong and hold it together, but inside I'm so scared and worried. I'm obviously worried about my Grandma, who has been such a strong, fighter of a woman my entire life. She's a breast cancer survivor and has lived most of her life with only one lung. She held it together after her husband died 15 years ago and managed to travel the world while she was able. There is also worry for my mom and aunt. I know they are both so upset and I wish there was more I could do. But in the end, nothing I do can change the situation, which is a hard realization. Sometimes, all you can do is try to stay strong.