Teacher Arrested:
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," a Justice Department spokesman said.
"They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.' "

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes".

So. My cell phone's ring tone is now the Gregorian chant "Pange Lingua", which I spent too much time typing into my phone.

And if that's not bad enough, my voicemail message is now in Quenya. ...and insults the poor unwitting caller with allusions to scatological humor - they'll never know the difference!

Ha. And they thought me creating custom philosopher Soul Calibur characters to battle each other was bad. (no seriously, what better way for Plato and Aristotle to solve their differences on where the Forms lie than to duke it out in a life or death struggle with pointy weapons?)

(In other words, this school has only encouraged me. Oh dear. World, be afraid of me. Very afraid.)

[color=#ff6600][i]Workings of man crying out from the fires set aflame
By his blindness to see that the warmth of his being
Is promised for his seeing, his reaching so clearly[/i][/color]