Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

sure, you think this is a random scrap of creativity that I accidentally left at the bottom of my post, but NOOOOOOO... that would be too boring. What I meant to say was "you're covered by... by chili, because just like a hot dog, everything is better with chili on it... like a musical blow job. Sure its discgusting and gets all in Nicky's hair and in the car and such, but it just tastes so darn good. Nicky is a hard working girl and she deserves a snack... so what I meant to say was "covered by chili"... yeah, that's it

Now when I start making love to my woman
I don´t stop until I know she´s sas-ified
And I can always tell when she gets sas-ified
´Cause when she gets sas-fied she start calling my name
She´d say: ´Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter
Clarence Carter, ooooh shit, Clarence Carter´
The other night I was strokin´ my woman
And it got so good to her, you know what she told me
Let me tell you what she told me, she said:
´Stroke it Clarence Carter, but don´t stroke so fast
If my stuff ain´t tight enough, you can stick it up my...´ WOO!

This device takes on a whole new aspect when you consider that the woman might be pregnant. Do you really want your baby to be born wailing "AAAOOOOWWW! I FEEL GOOD!" (No double entendre intended, but feel free to find one if you like.)

"Honey, you're NAKED!"
"Well look at that! So I am!"
*1.7 seconds of foreplay later*
"Stop...did you hear something?"
"No."
"Okay."
"Stop! There it is again!"
"Oh, you must mean my singing condom!"
"Cool!"
"Check it out, it changes according to our rhythm."
"Very cool! But, I this is the melody honey. It's a slow part.... Honey! It's a slow part!...Ooh wait, why did it stop? That's my favorite part of the song!"
"Uh...sorry."