His daddy and I got the best present ever this year. Malakai Frank Williams was born on Christmas Eve, at 3:14 am! He weighed 9 lbs 13 oz and 22.5" long. And he's perfect.

I'm sorry I haven't posted for days... we just got out of the hospital yesterday, and we've been settling in and trying to get some rest since then. I went in to the hospital on Saturday to get induced. By Sunday morning, I was on Pitosin and dilated to 4 cm. I was in a lot of pain by then and asked for an epidural, which was by far the most painful part of the birthing process for me. He hit a nerve in my spine and it felt like I was being electrocuted/stabbed on the whole right side of my body for at least a minute straight. The worst pain I've EVER felt! I screamed profanities and cried uncontrollably and, even though they had already broken my water earlier, what seemed like a gallon more poured out all over the floor. Unfortunately Frank had stayed in the room and was totally traumatized. D: The epidural ended up not working... and I refused to get another after that experience, so I just handled the pain.

By 10 pm on Sunday, I was still 4 cm - 12 hours later!!! My family had been there all day and no one had slept all Saturday night, so I told them all to go home and I'd call them once something happened. My Mom and Frank stayed at the hospital with me. A couple hours later, I was in the worst pain ever. It wasn't contraction pain, either, but it became incredibly intense during each contraction. It was this overwhelming pressure that would overcome me at the peak of each contraction. I thought, for SURE, that the pain meant I was dilating and I'd be able to push soon. I begged the doctor to check me but she kept saying she wanted to wait. I was crying with every contraction for hours. She checked me at 2 am, and I was still 4 cm, and I felt like he was trying to force his way out of me! They decided to do a c section immediately. I was so scared, overwhelmed and frustrated that after 30 hours of labor I was getting a c section... but I'm so glad they didn't wait any longer to get him out and I didn't have to endure any more pain!

My doctor thought Kai would be 5-6 lbs, because my tummy measured really small. She was wrong!!! He's almost 10 lbs and totally healthy, adorable and happy. When they pulled him out the doctors all said "You would have NEVER pushed him out!" "Look at all of that hair!" "He's huuuge!" and I was just so drugged and exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open. Frank was in the room and watched them cut me open even though I kept telling him not to. He almost fainted. They did a really great job, though. I was never in pain, and my stomach looks better now than it did before I was pregnant! Lol, seriously. It's super flat and the only evidence of a c-section is a 5" or so strip of tape. I'm shocked, I thought having a c-section would be nightmarish but I already forget that it ever happened and I'm walking around and doing stuff easily. And all of it was soooo worth my little guy! It's true that the happiness completely cancels out the pain.

Kai is the most amazing baby we could ever ask for. He's so peaceful, happy and curious about the world. I might be jinxing myself, but he barely ever cries and has seamlessly transitioned into our lives. He totally completes our family & has made me and his Dad so much closer it's unbelievable! Probably a hundred people have come to meet him, and he hasn't cried for one of them, and makes perfect eye contact & hilarious faces. I really think he looks like a lighter version of Frank but a lot of people say he has some of my features. I can't wait to watch him grow up and spend every day with my beautiful son!!! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.<333333

"Dogs are our link to paradise. They do not know jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing wasn't boring, it was peace."

Bodhi is the opposite of ignorance, the insight into reality which destroys mental afflictions and brings peace.