The yummy-mummy lobby are throwing their prams at the toys this morning, with Mumsnet campaigning to turn our democracy into an online coffee morning. 40,000 keyboard warriors have signed a petition demanding a ban on PMQs, aka the only bit of Commons action that anyone actually watches. Tory MPs are grumbling and smell a lefty stich up. “I’m proud to be on the side of Winston Churchill,” says Tory heckler Alec Shelbrooke, “rather than with those who want to take the passion out of politics.” The Tories know exactly who this over-feminisation of politics will help: “PMQs is about proof of leadership, that’s why so many people watch it. Bercow is rescuing Miliband everytime he interrupts.”Presumably if the politicians don’t do as they’re told by the mums, they will be sent to bed with no tea.

Ed Miliband achieved the impossible today. He finished his J’Accuse an even more diminished leader than when he began.

Weak, weak, weak! The Tories chanted. “I’ll tell you what’s weak,” Ed said weakly, “it’s failing to stand up for the right thing.”

Cameron’s definition of weak was more detailed: “Attacking Rupert Murdoch, posing with a copy of the Sun and then apologising for it! That’s weak!”

And then, of course, Alastair Campbell, Jo Moore and Damian McBride.

Ed’s lead-line, his headline, his top line was: “You brought a criminal into Downing Street.”

It’s not a bad line, in fact. It’s nasty. It resonates at a childhood level of right and wrong. And it’s sinister.

But then, but then . . . Criminals in Downing Street.

Ed himself has an adviser publicly accused of Class A drug use. His predecessors, as Cameron pointed out, have a variety of real victims to their account. From David Kelly to the Paddington rail crash survivors to Conservative MPs to half a million Iraqis…

“Jake Berry, absent” cried the Speaker as the Tory MP for Rossendale and Darwen, whose name was on the Order Paper for PMQs, failed to appear when called to ask his question. Cue Labour whips piling in and living to regret it about three minutes later:

@labourwhips thanks for your message of support. Just waiting with my wife in hospital as you recovers from general anaesthetic. #helpful

You can see the very moment that Ed realised he lost today’s potentially game changing moment in the House. A confident Cameron, armed with the Leveson report quotes, got his apology out early, before Ed could call for it. Just look at his face in reaction to the PM’s gag about Ed standing up to Murdoch, posing with the Sun and ultimately weakly apologising. Video to follow…

In a voice created by God to call for the impeachment of a former prime minister, Peter Tapsell called for the impeachment of Tony Blair. To bring the wretch to account for misleading the House of Commons.

Many Labour MPs want to impeach Ed Miliband for misleading the Labour party. Or, as now, for failing to lead it at all.

Today he stood up to the despatch box with a luxurious choice of Conservative crimes and misdemeanours to go on. Passport mayhem, euro-uselessness, cabinet carnage, dying children (there must be some somewhere).