I don’t understand this video, but I know I love it. It is just a perfect blend of creepy, insane, and weird, and not just because in features everyone, or at least my, favorite Teen Mom, Farrah Abraham, in a bikini, showing off a body that I have defended as being awesome to a lot of haters out there…a body that I have fallen in love with thanks to her squirt filled sex tape. A Squirt filled sex scene I watch over and over again …

I managed to read Jesus Martinez’s 189,873,901 “sales pitch” for the hideous Teen Whore’s sex tape, not in one sitting though. It took me several hours because I had to stop several times to relieve the nausea it gave me. Unlike, Jesus, I won’t lie to you. I have seen the entire Farrah Abraham’s sex video. I suffered through every excruciating minute of it. It’s the porn video equivalent of a sloppy shit. This video is like a turd heated in a microwave for 60 minutes. Think what that would stink like and you’ll understand how much this video reeks. Watching it won’t want to make you fap, it’ll make you want to reverse a day’s worth of digestion. So, in other words, if you’re looking for “porn”, you won’t find it here. But if you’re looking for a pile of shit, you’ve hit the mother lode. It’s too bad Drunken Stepfather has sunken to the depths of trying to con you, lie to you, cheat you into buying the video. The prices of street whore must have gone up in Canada for Jesus to need Vivid’s shill money this desperately. Poor guy.