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Thursday, April 28, 2011

So young and innocent, still small and naive,Dreaming of a Prince Charming who’ll sweep her off her feetDrawing hearts on paper with boy’s names scribbled there,With a hope in her heart as she combs her hair,She’s growing older, I find it weird,It used to be monsters in the closet were all that she feared,Now, I find papers strewn across the floor, torn apart,They have words scribbled on them “Will you hurt my heart?”Time passes quickly, and I better embrace it,Spend more time with her, shelter her, but I’ve got to face it,She’s growing up fast, and time won’t wait,So I guess I better stop writing, lest I be too late.

It’s hard not to let my frustration show,But I don’t want anyone to know,The struggles that go on inside my head,That stream out in tears when I’m in bed,There are so many choices I could take,But I don’t want to repeat my past mistake,So I sit silent with a smile on my face,Wishing that somehow I could leave this place,I let my emotions flow sometimes,But then I bottle it up deep inside,Just like so many times before,I lock the windows and bolt the door,I pull down the shade,Because I’m afraid, No one else ever allowed inside,Not since the day he lied.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I can’t,It’s too hard,Too difficult,I can’t let him go.I want,I wish,That he could be with me,Wish he could see.How much I miss him,How much I wish,I could kiss him,Its time,To let him go,That’s what they say,But I don’t know.I’m fine,That’s what I tell them,Its okay,That’s what I say,Lies,No hellos,Only good byes,Only cons, no pros

Like hugs from behind,That smell that’s just him,The way I catch my breath,When I see him 'cross the room,His touch on my arm,The way he holds me close,His breath on my ear,Like a velvet rose.The butterflies I feel,Whenever he is near,The way that I know,I’ve got nothing to fear,The feel of his hand,Holding onto mine,Wishing I could stay here,Wish to stop the time.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

I stepped foot, for the first time in ages,Into a large studio, full of memories, past pages,Of times from before, when I used to dance,Though you couldn’t tell that of me from first glance,The walls painted purple, just like before,The ceiling, the walls, but not the floor,That is polished wood, shining and bright,With the mirrors and the bars it’s a wondrous sight,Across the room there’s a pan of chalk,I remember it well, for it helped me walk,Helped me spin gracefully and jump high in the air,Like I could fly away without a care,Maybe that’s just my imagination,Something of my mind’s own creation,But as I stood in the entrance, that feeling came back,I took off my sweater, and something slipped through a crack,I began to dance again, just like before,My body moved in graceful tilts across the floor,I felt free, a feeling of grace took over,As I spun, dipped, and maneuvered,My hair flew around me in furious flurries,My mind was far away in a place with no worries,But regretfully my mind came back, my worries returned,I pulled on my sweater, and slowly I turned,As I walked towards the door, I stopped, then slowly looked back,I smiled slightly, leaving that room with a feeling I had long since lacked.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

When you tell me to go out in the dark,I’m trusting you,When you say to hold your hand and jump,I’m believing in you,When you tell me everything’s gonna be okay,You better be right,When I’m upset and can’t seem to cope,I want you to hold me tight,When I’m happy and full of life and laughter,I want you to laugh with me,When I fall silent and look at your lips,I want you to kiss me,When you’re sad and need a hug,I hope you tell me,When life gets tough and you feel alone,Please trust me,When you want to be with someone,I hope you come to me,When you want to love someone,Love me.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I’m crying, although I don’t know exactly why,What is it that has made me cry?Betrayal, I was stabbed in the back,She was a friend with a dreadful loss of tact.Tears in my eyes and anger in my fists,It is true that I am thoroughly pissed.Why am I in the wrong? What does she know?Was she the one he tore a part, has she sunk so low?Am I the one who’s the jerk, the farce, the liar?The one who should be under fire?Does she know how he treated me?The way I felt…does she actually see?Why can’t I explain it, why is it so hard?Doesn’t she see I’ll be forever scarred?I know she’s been hurt, and she’s hurting still,But why am I the one who has to chill?She’s attacking me with venom in her words,Accusations that seem to me to be absurd.I just want to swerve, move out of the way,Smooth it over, so there’s no more to say.But that’s not possible, no not at all,It’s gone on too long, there’s no time to stall.I did like him, I almost loved him,I thought that I knew him, but the truth is grim.He’s not who he says, nor who he plays,He’s an actor who throws lies in scattered arrays.She may not know this nor ever believe it,But he was and is a jerk, even if she can’t perceive it.I’m sorry to say it, but I can’t conceal it,He was mean and cruel and I have to reveal it.I wish I could go back to before when I didn’t know,When I was innocent with a heavenly glow,But I guess I wouldn’t be who I am now,So I depart, with an extravagant bow.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I breathe deeply, taking it in,The smell of the salt, the feel of the wind,The sky a pale blue, with wisps of a cloud,The sound of the ocean, comforting and loud,As I sit in the sand, I dig my toes deep,So comforting and warm, I could almost fall asleep.The sun’s shining bright, high in the sky,As I wait for a sailboat to catch my eye,There’s a sailor there, tall and refined,With deep tanned skin and eyes so kind,He sails through the wind on a brand new schooner,A smile on his face full of mischief and wonder,Across the way, riding a wave, a bright yacht sails majestically,Its captain stands tall, with eyes bright, standing next to his beautiful wife,Sail boats of every size pass through the water with a graceful glide,All different colors and kinds, how, I say, will I ever decide?The wind continues to rush over my arms, over my face, like a magic charm,As I sit laid back on the comfortable beach, my mind wanders far out of reach,Across the waters deep and blue, far away from the hurt and nearer to the new,The sun shines bright and there’s a smell of salt in the air,I reach up to fly, the wind rushing through my hair,Then suddenly I’m back, laying in the sand, but you’re sitting there, holding my hand,With a smile on your face and laughter in your eyes, you pick me up with a yellBounding towards the ocean, I scream in delight as the water washes over us,And with that my mind cleared all the faraway places, concentrating on now,I remember the reason, why I love you so much, and when I smile, I know you can tell.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Every day we are apart,I feel a little tear in my heart,It grows each day,But still I pray,That once again we’ll be together,That we’ll be that way forever,Be bonded for life and all eternity,And never more have that insecurity,That makes me look each night into the sky,Counting the shooting stars that pass me by,Waiting for my wish to come true,That someday I’ll be with you.

Motions, visions, sounds, smells,All come clashing down in an overwhelming title wave,Everything seems blurred, unreal, almost like a dream,Emotions flowing, struggle to stay in control, unable to save.Memories flash across my mind, your face, your voice, you,The things you say, the way you say it, how you were with me,Inseparable, or so it seems, you and me, never again,

It was awkward and strange,Seeing you there,It’s been awhile since we talked,I tried not to stare.I avoided eye contact,And looking your way,I hope I wasn’t rude,I had nothing to say.The silence was strained,Tension in the air,Wishing I hadn’t said no,Wishing I didn’t have to care.I hate emotions,So stupid and thoughtless,Why not get rid of them,They do nothing for us.They create drama,And play with your mind,Why don’t we dump them,And leave them behind.They can sit there alone,In a depressing hole,Bottled up and alone,Deep within my soul.People say it’s unhealthy,Not good to do,But I’ll do it anyway,So I won’t feel pain seeing you.Alas, it’s not possible,It’s still awkward and strange,Even if it's for the better,

Every time I see your face, Every time I hear your voice, I wanna hold you close, Wanna take back my choice. But I know I can’t, Even if I wanted to, I have to keep my word,I have to follow through. Why did I do that to you?Why would I do it to me?Why is God saying no?Or am I not listening?Wish I could be unconfused, Wish I could know what to do, I wish for many things, But all I really want is you. You. All I really want is you.

I’ll talk to you, I’ll even listen, I’ll give you what you want, Or what you think you need. I’ll be there for you when you cry, When your eyes glisten. But I’ll keep you pinned down, I’ll never let you fly. You’ll be my comforter, For when time passes by. When I need you most, Until the day you die., You're my prisoner, You'll always be with me, You can't seem to escape, As far as you can see.

It’s so hard to imagine you ever getting mad,
You sit there so peaceful, so tranquil, and silent.
Your face perfection, no emotion is shown,
Like a manikin, immobile, not prone to be violent.
Every once in a while I catch a glimpse of something,
But soon as I see it, in a flash, it’s gone, vanished from sight.
Your face confuses me, a mixture of serious and happy
So delicate, and fragile, so puzzling…maybe it was just the light.
But, looking back, carefully, I see you staring straight at me,
I quick look away, not wanting to seem rude or intrusive, as if I don't belong,
Looking back once more, my eyes meet yours, so sad…so lonely…so alone,
The emotions, so clear, staring into your eyes, no breath in my lungs, how could I be so wrong?