Monthly Archives: June 2013

“Careful, jaded
And always bracing for the fall
That’s no way to love” -Sam Tsui, “Naive” (Make It Up, 2013)

We learn and grow from our past experiences. We’re conditioned to stay away from things that hurt us, convinced that we should know better than to repeat the same “mistake”. But every time we avoid what scares us, it limits us from doing so much.

At one point in our lives, we will all be hurt by someone: a friend, a significant other, a family member, a colleague, or anyone with whom we come in contact. Does that mean we should harden ourselves for the next interaction or relationship? That’s what we do isn’t it? We take into account what’s hurt us before and we hold back from taking risks, or we enter with our guard up. Then, the next person we encounter has to pay for the previous person’s mistakes.

Every wound left behind heals, but we never rip off the band-aid even after it’s completely healed. We’re too afraid to be vulnerable and be put in the same position again. We think we have to be wiser, have the upperhand — we have to stay strong and not show any ounce of weakness. But isn’t that just as detrimental, approaching something with so much caution? And when the next encounter or relationship fails, we try and change again…

Every alteration we make to ourselves, our feelings and actions… we change ourselves. We grow further away from who we are, we look into the mirror and can barely recognize ourselves. What’s left is thick walls surrounding someone who is too scared to let them down… I don’t think that’s any way to live, it’s not fulfilling.

One of my biggest pet peeves was when my friends on Facebook would hashtag on their status or in their replies. And the only times I committed aforementioned social media faux pas, were because I was sharing my Instagram pictures on Facebook.

I thought hashtagging on Facebook was stupid because:
1. it served no purpose
2. it was not supported by the social media platform
3. it was redundant to the comment or status my friends posted
4. some people went overboard and entered a hashtag frenzy for no apparent reason

Today, I found out that Facebook supports the function now. It’s adopted the popular trend from Twitter and Instagram, and is now utilizing it. So, I can’t say that the platform does not support it, or that it serves no relevant function anymore, because it serves the same purpose as it would on Twitter and Instragram. However, it is still remains a pet peeve because it’s just not where it belongs (in my opinion anyway). I feel that hashtags belong on Twitter and Instagram, because it makes those platforms unique. By adding the feature to Facebook, it feels as though Facebook is monopolizing social media… except, with every new implementation and change on Facebook, the less I want to use it.

I remember joining Facebook my freshman year of high school. It was the new hype because it finally allowed high school students to join. It was so much more organized than MySpace, it was a new and fresh version of MySpace and I was intrigued. Everything was easily accessible and simple, but as years pass by Facebook gets more complicated, and annoying. There are ads everywhere, and clutter from apps. And now, it’s a conglomerate of all the various social media platforms. It’s not unique anymore, it’s not cool or fresh or new. It’s a hassle to navigate, especially with the timeline.

Unfortunately, it’s almost impossible to quit Facebook because everyone relies on it. Events to birthday parties, or group hangouts are coordinated on Facebook now. Instead of texting each other, people communicate via Facebook message, pictures from events are posted on Facebook and no longer emailed or shared on flickr or some other platform. No, after years, Facebook has become ingrained into my life and my everyday functions — I feel unsettled when I don’t check my Facebook account for over a week period.

I miss talking on the phone, or seeing people in person. I miss mass texts to coordinate meetups and events. I miss personal connections with other people. I miss keeping in touch through traditional means, and learning about how people are doing by talking to them… not by reading what they had to post or change of relationship status.

Maybe hashtags on Facebook will be the final push for me to turn my back on Facebook? Maybe… I hope so.

This past semester I could not, for the life of me, stay up past 4am to work on papers or projects. I would be overcome with tiredness, even after I drank coffee and snacked to keep me up. I fought losing battles, but after the third attempt, I figured I just couldn’t pull all-nighters anymore. I figured that I reached the age or point life where I need those 6-8 hours of sleep to function.

So color me surprised when I could not, for the life of me, fall asleep last night. I tried counting sheep, reading a dry article, playing a game that usually knocks me out from sheer repetitiveness. Regardless of the attempts, I failed to fall asleep. In fact, the tiredness didn’t even catch up to me until about 2:30pm today (which is when I ended up sleeping/napping until 7:30pm in time for dinner).

The irony is not lost on me. The one time I actually wanted to fall asleep because I made plans with my mom to have breakfast, I laid wide awake. And all those other failed attempts because I had assignments due soon, I could not keep my eyes open. Ah, life… why must you make no sense whatsoever?