9. Was that a door creak? If the big kids get out of their beds I’m not going to be happy.

10. I hope he heard that door creak.

11. Quiet. It’s quiet.

12. I can’t believe I didn’t bring my phone in here.

13. Where is my phone?

14. Please don’t let me have put it in the washing machine again.

15. I really wish I had my phone.

16. Seriously, I could be playing Candy Crush.

17. This is taking forever.

18. They are only little once, right? Right?

19. I really should buy one of those sleep books.

20. I think there’s a whole book about how rocking is bad or something.

21. If I had my phone I’d buy it right now.

22. Did her eyes just open up?

23. Yup, she’s looking at me.

24. I’m not going to look back.

25. I’m a statue. I’m a statue.

26. Oh no. She’s smiling at me.

27. If I don’t smile back, will she be scarred for life?

28. Fine. One smile. “Shhhh…Go to sleep…”.

29. I’m rocking 100 times and then I’m just putting her in the crib awake.

30. But then she might cry and then we’ll start over.

31. I’m so hungry.

32. I’ve been in here forever. For an eternity.

33. I wish I had my phone then I’d know how long eternity has been.

34. I’m just going to close my eyes first and then she might do it.

35. Why is she patting my face?

36. I really hope he’s making dinner.

37. OMG stop banging pots!

38. They don’t make white noise loud enough.

39. Ugh. The cabinets, stop closing them so loudly!

40. If I wasn’t trapped in this rocker, I’d shush him.

41. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your eyes.

42. I need to remember to get that sleep training book.

43. I smell food.

44. My stomach is eating itself. I can feel it.

45. Oh YES closed eyes.

46. I wonder how long I should sit here until it’s safe.

47. I need to make the crib transfer seamless. SEAMLESS.

48. Once I get her in there, I’m crawling out of the room so she doesn’t see me.

49. Okay, I’m counting to 100 then in the crib she goes.

50. Ahhhhh. This is so relaxing.

51. I could fall asleep if I weren’t famished.

52. I don’t need a sleep book. I’m the master at rocking babies to sleep. I should write a sleep book.

53. Take THAT sleep training experts!

54. Seriously, look at me. My baby is asleep. I got this.

55. I really should put her in the crib now.

56. One more minute of snuggling.

57. Okay, I’m putting her in, escaping like a ninja and eating.

58. Success!!

This was a compilation of all the many nights I sat in a rocker rocking my four babies to sleep. My oldest is now 9 and my youngest is now 1.5 years. She doesn’t want to be rocked any more. Some days I miss it. But not that much.

25 Responses to 58 things I thought while rocking my baby to sleep

“I’m a statue. I’m a statue.” Hilarious. And so so so right on. It’s crazy, the things we do and the power those little people have over grown people.

Danellesays:

May 23, 2014 at 9:10 pm

Hilarious, this is exactly what went through my mind rocking my oldest to sleep. With my 2nd I would put her down awake usually so she’d comfort herself, sounds awesome but she made up for it by waking up a lot more during the night than her harder to put down sister did. I’m currently expecting my 3rd (all girls), maybe this time will be the charm?

Brittanysays:

May 23, 2014 at 9:17 pm

Haha reading this as I am rocking my son to sleep. I have thought all of these with both of my boys. Great post!!

Dinasays:

May 24, 2014 at 6:06 am

This is me right now!!! Except I have my phone.

Ckssays:

May 24, 2014 at 7:48 am

I think I’ve thought all of these! But I would add “OMG I have to pee!” and “Why am I so thirsty? Maybe I can send him my thoughts and he’ll creep up here very quietly and bring me a glass of water without waking up the baby. <>”

Sarasays:

May 24, 2014 at 11:43 am

#47 – love it!

Rose Leesays:

May 24, 2014 at 6:20 pm

I’m a statue I’m a statue.. Haha hilarious Had to stop reading because I was afraid my laughing would wake the baby.

Samanthasays:

May 24, 2014 at 9:54 pm

Too funny! I can relate. But rather than success, I have to start all over.

Pennysays:

May 26, 2014 at 2:49 am

haha seriously this is why Rum was invented

Uncle Dave.says:

May 26, 2014 at 7:40 am

Thanks for sharing. Maybe I’ll get a chance to try your advice with a grand-child in the next couple of years. All the Best!

Oooooh yes can totally relate haha… something you can only understand once becoming a mother. Love the line “escaping like a ninja” bwahahaha thanks for the laugh!

Danny's Mommasays:

May 27, 2014 at 10:51 am

Haha that’s exactly what I used to think too. “Don’t look at him… if I don’t look at him he’ll get bored and go to sleep.” and “Ok he hasn’t moved in 5 seconds. If I can count to 30 without him moving again, it’s safe to say he’s asleep…”

Of course there were days that he would NOT fall asleep, and I had to tell myself over and over “nothing lasts forever. Who cares about tomorrow and what I think I need to do. Who seriously cares. He will fall asleep eventually, don’t even look at what time it is. Just sit and be quiet.”

amysays:

May 27, 2014 at 1:03 pm

I definitely used to count to 100!

Nessysays:

May 27, 2014 at 1:18 pm

This is so ME! #22nd to #28th.

kdsays:

May 27, 2014 at 3:33 pm

Need to add one that says “I really have an itch. I wish I could move my arm to reach it.” It seemed like everytime my daughter fell asleep in my arms I would need to scratch my face or rub my eyes. The struggle was real!

lex milessays:

May 27, 2014 at 4:06 pm

I have to pee…when did I pee last,am I drinking enough water? …I should of peed first…OH MAN I NEED TO PEE!

Sherrie Rodericksays:

May 27, 2014 at 4:36 pm

This is so not what I thought it would be, thank you for being honest! I have Rocked 4 girls and I do miss it.

Jemsays:

May 28, 2014 at 2:23 am

You forgot…. ‘I wonder how many calories I am burning doing this rocking?’
And. ‘ if I rock for another minute I’ll have enough calorie allowance for dessert, surely!’

erinsays:

May 28, 2014 at 7:50 am

I laughed so hard I cried reading these! great list!

Tabithasays:

May 28, 2014 at 9:10 am

LOL… Hilarious. .. I can completely relate…. except I always have my phone… and its Bejeweled Blitz instead of candy crush….

Tammy Schaafsays:

May 28, 2014 at 10:02 am

It’s been 30 years ago for me, so things have changed. But I remember hoping the phone wouldn’t ring. Back then they were on the wall. Numerous times, I would walk with stealth toward the crib and then the yellow phone on the wall would ring as I had the flaps down and the baby-plane almost landed. Let the crying begin. Me and my infant son!

linda tomlinsonsays:

May 28, 2014 at 10:35 am

I am still rocking, age: 60 years. Enjoy every warm cuddly minute!

NHSsays:

May 28, 2014 at 1:22 pm

Omw! Can totally relate to ALL the above esp the counting to a hundred part- and as I get to 95, I just decide to make it 150 instead

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