Thursday, February 14, 2013

My Night in Bed with Jodi

I woke up in bed with Jodi.
First, I looked at my hands and there was no blood.
There was no blood on Jodi, either.
She didn’t seem surprised to discover me in the room.
I assumed a guard was at the door, but I wasn’t sure of that.
I thought I would put her at ease.
“I wanted to kill because of my lover’s betrayal once.”
Jodi looked up at me with those eyes which were a combination of boredom and chicanery.
“Go on.”
She was interested. It was a start.
I never wanted to hurt her.
I preferred to kill him.
I thought about it for several days.
I saw myself driving up to his parking lot, just as he was planning to get into his car.
I would have him in my sights.
I could hear the bones in his legs crunching, as my car pinned his body against his car.
He was screaming in pain, but managed to stay on his feet.
I put the car in reverse and was focused on his face as the car shifted back into drive.
He was pleading now.
His left hand outstretched, beseeching me to stop. But I had no desire to stop now.
Had he been willing to stop before he drove me to this moment?
And then I killed him.
Jodi had grabbed my hand.
“Were you prosecuted for your crime?”
I smiled and wondered if we would have sex now.
Would the guard allow us this magic moment?
“Who said it was a crime?”
Suddenly, she got up from the bed and walked to the window.
“I am being prosecuted for my crime. I am not saying it was a crime, but the State is trying me for murder and get this, if I am convicted, they will put me for death.”
I looked up to her, but I said nothing.
“My crime was nothing worse than yours. I did what I had to do to teach someone that what he did to me was wrong and for what he did, he would pay the ultimate penalty.”
She paused and it looked to me as if she might begin to cry.
Finally, she spoke.
“Just, like you did.”
I couldn’t do it.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that my plan, my retaliation took place only in my mind and I never acted on it.
What good would have it done?
She was in a different place.