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October 5, 2011

Imperfect Prose: Imperfect Self

This year I've undergone a journey of acknowledging my fears. Fears of being unloved or rejected. Fears of not measuring up in someone else's eyes. And I've asked myself, each time I feel those frantic thoughts, why? What am I fearing?

When I sift through the trail of thoughts to the deep hidden lie I've believed; I'm able to release it through awareness. Love throws out all fear. My process has been hard. It's been painful. There are moments I want to quit asking the questions and run! But running has never got me where I want to go, only kept me circling.

It's only when I look deep within and truthfully state what it is I fear that I'm able to let go of fear and accept love. The irony is that I'm able to give love now without the ropes of fear constraining me. I don't take things as personally as much anymore. I can love for love's sake without demanding something in return. I still have a long way to go; I battle fears everyday. But I'm aware and changing.

7 comments
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Catherine: I strongly disagree. I love the picture. My wife and I took a sunset sail this summer off Key West. We took many camera shots we thought were kind of dumb, but the one I ended up loving the most was the shot of her just sitting on the deck with the water behind. When I first saw your "imperfect" photo, I had to take a second look because I thought it was my wife's photo. It was the same angle (with only part of her head in the shot), and I'm not a very good photographer. Nevertheless, it is my favorite because it is so real. I think it's perfect! Thanks for sharing it.