JACK’s 5th Show: Vanilla Ice ‘Collaborates & Listens’

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There are few feats that are as epic and awesome as what we pulled off at JACK’s 5th Show. [lastfm]Vanilla Ice[/lastfm]’s career is full circle, once again cool as ice. So cool in fact that his 15-minute set was the one thing that I knew I needed to be apart of.

There are few things I want in life: the gift of flight, the ability to kill vampires and to watch Rob Van Winkle aka. [lastfm]Vanilla Ice[/lastfm] perform “Ice Ice Baby” and “Ninja Rap.” After this weekend I can scratch one off my list. I can also scratch off my list, getting iced by Vanilla Ice. Top that baby!

It was a strategic maneuver. I needed to catch Vanilla Ice after he got off stage but before he decided to chill out. Really, it came down to putting human decency aside and storming the castle like I was Mario and Vanilla Ice was the Princess. However, once I got in there, there was only one thing to do and that was get iced by Vanilla Ice.

The path to righteousness is paved with plenty of disgusting bottles of Smirnoff Ice. A drink so vile that Smirnoff had to come up with a drinking game that they could market to people like me with a strong constitution and a penchant for war games. The rules are simple. Using guerrilla warfare tactics, you hide a Smirnoff Ice on your person and bestow it on your victim. If your victim has an ice on them, the ice block you and you drink two ices. It is a terrible feat, but if pulled off, it is the moment of a champion.

The girls of digital were desperately trying to get close enough to Vanilla Ice to ice him and somehow we did. Maybe it was the drinks we’d been partaking in, but it seemed a lot easier than I thought it would be. Things are hazy cause it all went so fast. We asked for a fan photo and I took out my Smirnoff Ice from my hiding place and handed it to Vanilla Ice when I heard, “YOU’VE BEEN ICE BLOCKED!”

Some people dispute that there was actually another ice involved. I can’t say. I was busy dropping down to one knee where I shot gunned my Smirnoff Ice while Vanilla Ice held my hand like the true gentleman he is. I dunno if you’re aware of this, but getting iced is not only humiliating, but takes a toll on your spirit. After shotgunning that drink I was down for the count. People tell me that Vanilla Ice hugged me, but I dunno. I don’t remember, I guess I’ll just have to take their word for it.

Check out the photos of Vanilla Ice performing with his female posse on stage: