12 Signs You’re A High-Conflict Personality (And The Problem Is YOU, Not Him

People who have high conflict personalities actively go out of their way to bully, browbeat, and pick fights with others, often because it makes them feel better about themselves.

The truth is that there’s a chance that you may be a high conflict personality, and that you might need to look into professional help in order to have normal relationships. If you notice any of these signs, you may want to think about how you’re living life and the impact that your love of conflict could be leaving on friends, family, and lovers.

1. You pick fights with people for no good reason.

Stop doing this. No one wants to be around people who pick fights with them. If you know you’re doing this, then you already probably have a suspicion that you might have a high conflict personality. Just saying, this should be confirmation for you.

2. If you were honest about yourself, your love of getting in a fight isn’t about actually getting anything good — it’s about winning over another person.

This is really what it boils down to for a lot of people who have this personality issue. There are plenty of healthier, kinder ways to feel the thrill of winning. Have you tried racing? Boxing? You can win without alienating people.

3. Your friendships seem to be short-lived.

The problem with being a high conflict person is that your friendships suffer because your friends will eventually be worried about your wrath. The end result is that, after a fight or ten, people end up distancing themselves from you.

4. You have a major queen bee streak in you.

If you are a high conflict personality who is socially adept, you might end up turning into a real-life Regina George. In these cases, you may have a stranglehold on your friends, but you definitely don’t have real friends. After all, real friends don’t fear one another, use each other, or feel like they can’t be real with one another.