Does Your New Year’s Resolution Work For You?

New years resolutions fail because most of the time they are not what you truly want. They are just mere traps set up by your mind. So what can you do to find the thing that actually matters to you?I started this year being sick. I was in bad, had no energy, my nose was running. I caught the cold. It happens. I could have avoided it or at least I could have done something to help myself but I didn’t notice the signs in time that it was coming.

I was making and uploading videos daily during the holidays and I have also spent my time doing housework, to prepare for my family to visit. I was in stress during this time and I didn’t notice it. I didn’t realise how much I have abandoned myself. This made me think and I decided that my new years resolution is to be more aware of how I feel myself and what condition my body is in. That is the direction I choose to go this year. It is not a goal you can measure by numbers and not a real new years resolution either. It is a direction that I decided to follow. This direction feels very honest and important to me so I follow it. Actually it attracts me like magnet the iron.

Of course it wasn’t always so easy for me to find my direction. During the years I have learned how to do it.

You know if you set a goal for your new year it will only work out if it is something you honestly want, you honestly desire (and you don’t run away from the challenges that will rise up). If it is just a goal your mind came up with but you don’t really resonate with it, then that is not your true goal. That is just a trap your mind created for you because you didn’t listen to your real inner desires.

For example, lets say you want to lose weight. You have tried it last year but you stopped after going two times to the gym. What has happened? Well you was not aligned with your own true desires. Maybe you actually didn’t want to lose weight at all! You just wanted to get slimmer because your family and friends are telling you to do it, or maybe other people are judging you because of how you look like. But if it weren’t for them you wouldn’t care about your weight. If your weight doesn’t matter to you then you will not push yourself to change it. (If you want to lose weight honestly but you still give up then there might be other problems, like you choose an activity you don’t like or you run into some negative beliefs or you lack willpower. Talk with a life coach, he/she can help you get through the obstacles.)

I have noticed that usually if I set a goal that is connected to a number that will not work out either. Because a number will not give me what I want. It will not make me more healthier, nor will it make me feel more satisfied. (My mind thinks it will though!) But instead it will make me feel stressed out and I will feel resistance to it. Why? Because as soos as I decide to do it it will turn out to be something that “must be done”. It was set as a goal that I “must reach” and it is already making me resist it. Make 10 paintings this year, make 50 videos this year. These are just numbers. No feelings or value are attached to them. Thy are not meaningful this way.

A number just don’t generate any interest or energy. A number has no value. But lets say you decide on a new years resolution like this one instead: If I get inspired I will allow myself to spend the time enjoying this inspired state and maybe I will use it to create something. You see? This sentence feels good right? You know why? Because it doesn’t limit or restrict you. It doesn’t force you to do something you don’t want to. Because who knows if three months later you still want to paint or write?

Here is an other example: I want to get better in expressing myself so that I can help other people more effectively. This is a good one (if it is your honest desire), maybe following this direction you will write a hundred articles during the year. But if you would have set up a new years resolution like “I want to write a 100 articles” you might have given up after the fourth one.

It is not a new year’s resolution you need but a direction to go towards to! A direction that will bring you closer to your own desires. A direction that might change ten times during the year as you progress. A direction that is based on your honest feelings and desires.

How to find your direction?

What I like to do to find my direction is like this: I sit down on my bed with colorful pens and papers (my journal) and I start asking myself questions (maybe I will even listen to chill out music):

What do I want right now? I want to have more energy. I want to have clear mind and I would like to enjoy having ideas and making them real. So I would like to create while enjoying the creation process. This is what I would like. Next question:

How can I do this? Well, I can practice more Qigong, and I can be more aware of myself. Whenever I notice that I don’t feel comfortable in my body or my heart rate is higher than normal then I will do something to relax myself.

Question follows question: how can I feel myself more relaxed: with more meditation, with more walking and working out. Drinking more water and realising if I do something I don’t actually want to do at that time. :)

Did you notice what I did here? I start asking myself questions. The first question – What do I want – will help you to find the direction. Your answer will lead you to more questions. Ask those questions from yourself and answer them.

Then take a look at how you feel! The closer you get to your real and honest feelings you will notice changes in yourself:

you will get calmer and more relaxed

the heavy weight on your shoulders will be lifted

you will feel energised

you might feel happiness

By asking these questions you will find out what you want or at least the direction you want to go to. This direction is so much more valuable than a new year’s resolution, because this will lead you closer to your own real desires. A direction has no time limit. The direction might change many times during the year or it might continue through the next year. A direction will attract you while a not honest new year’s reasolution might only generate resistance in you.

Find out what you truly want, what honestly is important to you! Not a superficial wish but that thing that has been calling you for a long time. A deep inner desire that generates energy as soon as you connect to it. You will feel it!

Find it and follow the direction!

Lastly, know that you can’t go wrong here. If the direction turns out to be not useful to you anymore then simply ask the question again “What do I want?” and follow it with more detailing questions.

Hi! I am Adrienn Ecsedi. On this site I share what I create be that a digital painting, a pastel artwork, a how to video about growing plants from seeds along with my knowledge about these areas. Enjoy! If you have any questions contact me.