Category: Kids and why you can’t kill them

Tuesday is the day we dedicate to all things children. We dedicate it to the thankless job of parenting these little animals that occasionally remind us of how cute they are and warm our cockles just before doing something to drive us crazy again. Maybe we shouldn’t write this part after they woke us up for the 4th morning straight before the sun had a chance to open its eyes and have a good stretch. Maybe we shouldn’t be writing this while they are still insisting on driving us crazy by practicing this systematic amnesia. You know where they apparently are behaving by doing exactly what you ask but then forgetting it less than 5 minutes later. But back to the topic of the week which is ‘It’s the thought that counts’ and gift giving to little ones need a lot of thought. Here is a list of toys that should not be given to kids under any circumstance.

Can you feel it? There are only a couple of days before Thanksgiving and you can smell the excitement in the air. We get so wrapped up in the turkey and fixings that we forget why we do this. No, CoupleDumb will not be leading you into a retelling of how the Pilgrims gave thanks because they weren’t dead. No, we aren’t going to mention that that story is a little skewed and the act of giving thanks was really that of the Native Americans. Just something else we stole from them. No, we are going to focus on our kids and how to teach them to be grateful people and not self-entitled little shits. Now pass the mashed potato!

It’s Tuesday and we’re hungry! CoupleDumb is talking about food this week. Of course after just getting off a weekend cruise where the mantra is ‘Freestyle Baby’, the food routine is a little off for us. However, as parents, we can’t maintain this. We can’t eat breakfast at 2 in the afternoon and drink a shake for dinner when you have 3 kids looking at you like Oliver Twist with a bowl saying ‘Please sir, I want some more’. But as any parent knows, kids are not eating as well as they should and the obesity level in this country for children is staggering. Today, Fat Albert would not be an anomaly but an average in some communities.

It is Tuesday at CoupleDumb when we talk about those little blessings that we call children. There is a reason why we call with category ‘kids and why you can’t kill them’ and it links directly to this week’s topic of losing your mind. If there is one thing that can drive any parent into a near homicidal rage, it is the lilting, constant, oppositional voice of their beloved little rugrat. (By the way, we said ‘near homicidal rage’. CoupleDumb does not promote homicide as body disposal is a significant stressor to the best of relationships.)

Tuesday, the day dedicated to the offspring, rugrats, ankle biters, apes and piojo pegados (attached parasites/louse- Spanish is such a lovely language!). This week we are discussing the ‘Don’ts’ in relationships and there are so many of them when it comes to kids. We know that many of the things we grew up with can hurt the little buggers. Things like don’t give kids honey and don’t dangle them from their feet and don’t shake babies and don’t feed kids Cheetos and lard. So many rules! How can we keep them all straight? Today, though, we are going to address a very important rule that is pertinent to all your relationships but particularly poignant when it comes to our children.

Good Morning Tuesday! How are you today? Did you get enough sleep? Any bad dreams? Here, at the CoupleDumb estate, sleepy time is cherished as the only time during the day where a person can concentrate for more than 30 seconds at a time. A parent does not require a manual to raise their child. However, they could definitely use an extra helping of sleep and patience. And still, everyday that goes by takes us closer to a day where our kids won’t be keeping us up or waking us up on a daily basis. That sounds like heaven for a moment and then the sting hits. Our babies are getting older.

If you have kids, want kids, have nieces and nephews or have friends who have or want kids, you have come to the right place. CoupleDumb does not sugar coat parenting in any way. We will not give you your medicine with a spoonful of sugar. You will swallow that horse pill without water and painfully digest it like the rest of us. We kid though. We love our kids and yet it is perfectly fine to say that they drive us crazy sometimes. It is perfectly natural to want to get away from them and have some alone time. But what do you do when they are attached to you? Feeding off you like parasites? Pregnancy is just another time to practice your parenting.

It’s Tuesday at CoupleDumb where we are giggling to ourselves. You see, today we are talking about having sex when you have children. The most searched keywords for the previous sentence are ‘sex’ and ‘children’ which means there are going to be some very disappointed perverts trying to find their kiddy porn and getting us instead. So indulge us as we bump up our readership by saying sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.

It’s competition Tuesday here at CoupleDumb where the winner gets all of their dreams to come true. Ha! Don’t you wish it was that easy? Instead, how about if we talk about kids, competition and the game? Yes we are being purposely obtuse. We don’t know what the game is either but we have been trying to win it all of our lives.

It’s Tuesday and we are talking shadows this week. Tuesdays are dedicated to our relationships with our children, parenting and just being a child. When we decided to discuss shadows this week, Tuesday became a very important day. Why you ask? Simply put, most of our shadows are created in childhood. Some of you are reacting to this negatively and are thinking, ‘Oh jeez, here comes the inner child crap’ or ‘why the hell would you look for a shadow?’ To these questions we say, are you comfortable living an unexamined life?