I’ve heard a number of psychologists diagnose Ms. Arias with borderline personality and a few other clinical conditions. After seeing this letter, I came up with my own diagnosis.

First, pay attention to unnaturally neat this letter is – a sign of neurosis and calculation.

Next the letters lean left and right – a sign of teetering between Physical and Emotional behavior.

The writing size is small but her loops are large – this indicates Emotional Sexuality/ Physical Suggestibility.

The y’s are loop-less and dip down into the line below them – Emotional Sexual and confusion about her sexual behavior.

The large margin on the left and small margin to the right – indicate an individual who makes space for themselves and gives little room to others (self centered).

The overall writing size seems to be small – another Emotional indicator.

The letters in each word are all close together – indicating that she keeps her true feelings close to herself.

*note – Physical = Extrovert/Emotional = Introvert

I didn’t see any lines on the paper but if there are that makes the neatness standout even more so. Compare the first sample with the second. In the first one you can see a little of her emotions and disorganization. This would be closer to who she really is than the second one which seems to be carefully thought out and written. Her writing actually looks like she does literally, unemotional and unaffected. She appears to be intelligent, she seems to really calculate what she says well before she says it… this is a planner. I didn’t spend much time focusing on the content of the letter because it really doesn’t matter. All that a person thinks shows up in unconscious ways.

Now that we’ve identified our writer as an extreme Emotional Sexual/Physical Suggestible, what the heck does that mean? That means you’re dealing with a person that will take things the wrong way mostly, internalize how they feel about and will over-react to what they’ve taken wrong. The Emotional aspect of the behavior will cause an individual to constantly internalize their feelings only to completely explode later. It really doesn’t matter the label that we give this behavior, it’s more important to be able to identify it before it’s too late.

I’m constantly debated on the idea that you can’t put people into two categories and I’m here to tell you that you can. There are differing levels of these two behaviors in us all, however we tend to lean to one side more than the other. When a person’ s levels are about the same on each side (without knowing how to keep up this balance) it’s called the “borderline behavior” syndrome

In the end, everyone of us has the capacity to do the unthinkable; our better judgment simply helps to keep us out of most trouble. The message here is to learn yourself, learn your behavior and how you respond to stress, because stress is the financier of every news organization worldwide.

after leaving the hospital and getting settled back at home, the discussion of Postpartum depression came up. She noticed that she was over reacting to minor things and this wasn’t her usual behavior… so she says.

I began to try to make sense of this phenomena by first doing a little more research. Here’s one definition of the condition:

Postpartum depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, is a type of clinical depression which can affect women, and less frequently men, typically after childbirth. Studies report prevalence rates among women from 5% to 25%, but methodological differences among the studies make the actual prevalence rate unclear. Among men, in particular new fathers, the incidence of postpartum depression has been estimated to be between 1% and 25.5%.[1] Postpartum depression occurs in women after they have carried a child. Symptoms include sadness, fatigue, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, reduced libido, crying episodes, anxiety, and irritability. Although a number of risk factors have been identified, the causes of PPD are not well understood. Many women recover with a treatment consisting of a support group or counseling.[2][3]

When I saw that the ‘cure’ for this condition was mostly counseling it all started to make a little more sense to me. After a woman has a child all of her senses become more heightened or intensified. This is an instinctual occurrence. If you believe that once upon a time there were no houses, roads bridges, iPads, internet, then the picture becomes more plain. The mother’s senses are heightened for protection of her infant, she sees, hears, feels, smells and even tastes more keenly. Well, that sounds a lot more promising to me than telling someone that they’re clinically depressed, especially when it’s true. Whatever we continually think on creates feelings and those feelings create more thoughts. So, to Keep It Simple Stupid, changing your thoughts changes your feelings.

Unfortunately, due to the lack of understanding of emotions and how they work, this blessing, in fact became labeled as depression. The depression aspect only shows up when someone can’t explain the feelings or the condition they find themselves in, just had a baby or not. I call it a blessing because once they’re understood, these heightened emotions can be put to positive use, for things like going to a botanical garden and seeing what all sorts of flowers truly smell like. Go to a new restaurant and taste new foods that you’ve never tried. Don’t feel like moving? Fine, use your heightened sense of emotion to write a song for your baby. I know all of this may sound corny but it sure beats being called depressed and drugged out of your mind on pills.

I believe that with understanding comes peace. If more women understood where these feelings were coming from and how to deal with them, we’d have less people diagnosed as being depressed. That is not to say that depression is not real and that people should just get over it. Depression is very real, but it can be avoided with proper education and re-labeling of some of these negative diagnostics.

So many issues and problems in our lives can be avoided by simply understanding how the mind and body works, most importantly, our own.

T. Scott

– Dehypnotize

[Disclaimer: This post in no way disputes or contradicts the instructions given by your Doctor or Therapist. Please continue to get counseling or therapy until you feel that you’ve overcome your unwanted state of mind.]

The next time you’re out on a clear night; take a look up at the stars. If you live in a rural area you know more of what the true night sky looks like than someone who lives in the city. The true night sky is amazing, almost scary when you know what you’re looking at. The ancients ordered their lives around the stars and we continue a lot of those same practices today.
I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of opposites so stars and black holes seemed to be a good analogy for the Physical (Extrovert) and Emotional (Introvert) behavior. Let’s look at some of the characteristics of both ideas.

Star/ Physical
Shines brightly/ Likes attention
Very warm and comforting/ Like to give physical attention
Emits energy/The giver or talker not good with receiving i.e. listening
Can burn you if you get too close/ Passion can be perceived as tempers or anger
Imposes its energy on everyone/ Life of the party, knows and talks to everyone

Black hole/ Emotional
Cold dark and mysterious/ Shy ‘Emo’ type likes to wear dark colors
Draws others to them/ don’t like initiating conversation, likes for the moves to be made on them
Lives off of the energy of stars/ Likes the spontaneity of the Physical, another Emotional would bore them
Blends in to the surroundings/ doesn’t like attention, dresses very conservatively
Can never truly see what’s going on inside of them/ internalizes their feelings, considered to be deep

If you subscribe to the idea that we’re made up of the same thing as the entire universe then this actually makes a little more sense. We are simply opposing elements wrapped in a human form. Opposites have been described in too many ways to count but here are a few: Good/Evil, Cain/Abel, Horus/Set, Republican/ Democrat, Black/ White, Rich/ Poor, Christian/ Muslim, science/ religion and on and on.

It’s like marriage, the more time you spend stating and defending your way or side of doing things, the longer it’s going to take to realize your own potential. You’re supposed to be with your opposite personality to develop the other side of yourself. This creates balance and synergy and more importantly opens a new realm of possibilities in your life. How much time do we spend arguing and fighting about which side is right or wrong? I can think of so many more productive ways to spend our time and I’m sure you can as well.

The irony of this is that we all embody both sides. It’s unfortunate that we limit ourselves to one side and neglect the other due to the lack of understanding it. Our true potential as mankind can never be realized until our true potential as individuals is discovered.

I have a little secret to tell you… there is no right or wrong in this matrix, only deficiencies in the way we communicate our emotions to others.

Looks like the critics were wrong about this one…too. Kandi Burruss and Marvin Sapp’s Stay Prayed Up made it to #1 on itunes Gospel charts. Hold up, the queen of reality tv sex toys has the #1 gospel song? That just can’t be!

Well obviously it can be and it is. People are so busy and quick to judge others that they don’t have time to see the error in their own ways. Most of those talking are the ones at the club Sunday morning rushing home to get a couple hours of sleep before showing up to sing in the choir in the first service. Kandi in my opinion is openly displaying what so many of us do a horrible job of concealing. We all have more than one side to our personalities, it’s the denial of this fact that burdens us with so much unnecessary stress.

Who can say to Ms. Burruss that she shouldn’t make a song about what she believes? To say so would only be stating what you believe…(smh). How long must we endure the wrath of the unlearned? How long must we be subjected to the unconscious and willfull ignorance of the majority?

I read an article the other day about a woman who was arrested for selling adult toys. I thought that to be strange so I read on. Come to find out that it wasn’t because she was selling the toys, it was because she didn’t call them novelty items. It’s apparently against the law to sell adult toys and call it that in that county (this was in TX).

Throughout history man has struggled with the concept of sex; be it about homosexuality, sex before/ during marriage, masturbation etc.. It seems that we’ve put the so-called shame of sex at the forefront of our very existence and we’re baffled by the confusion that has followed. It’s not complicated at all, either become non-human or accept the whole of you that is human. Things only become taboo when you’re told not to do them…

With the new millennium came a new attitude towards sex. It’s actually not new at all, openness in sexuality has been around for centuries. Religious teachings about sex merely ran sexual behavior underground. This has caused deviance, passive aggression, shameful and all sorts of confused behavior in our societies.

The conversation of sexual satisfaction is rarely addressed in long term relationships. One partner may feel inadequate when given suggestions on how to please the other. In most cases someone ends up unsatisfied, fakes it or ends up cheating. This is all due to the inability to communicate our most intimate feelings about our most intimate moments.

Kandi Burruss of Xscape and Reality TV show Atlanta Housewives has launched Bedroom Kandi an adult toys store and Kandi Koated Nights, an accompanying talk show to address open communication in the bedroom. I commend her for her professional approach to such a taboo subject. She’s an Emotional Suggestible/ Physical Sexual by the way; a lady in the streets and …

It’s ok to want sex to feel good and it’s ok to communicate to your partner when it doesn’t. So, how do you tell your partner that things could be better without hurting their feelings? Speak their language! Are they Physical or Emotional? Are they visual or kinesthetic? These things matter because one partner will be into fantasy while the other could be more into physical stimulation. Why not communicate about what you like in their language and allow them to do the same for the purpose of both people achieving satisfactory results.

The common misconception about sex is that everyone likes to do it the same way. With just a little patience, you might find a whole new world to explore with each other if you’d only begin to have those forbidden conversations. Sex in your relationship is not evil or shameful or bad, irresponsible sex is.

Take time and get to know what the other person’s likes or dislike may be or get into each other before getting into each other. Everything that we experience is realized through the mind so why not start there and finish with the body?

In the end, our lives are ultimately what we make of them and we only have a short time to realize the benefits of making them what we truly wanted. So, what are you waiting for?

My postings about handwriting are not to turn anyone into an overnight graphologist…rather they are to bring attention to the amount of control our subconscious minds have over our everyday lives. Your handwriting will change over time and sometimes by the day, it’s all based on our current state. It’s important to understand how the subconscious mind operates, to proactively live your life as opposed to reacting to it. Too often we find ourselves in the midst of a situation asking,”How did I get here?” and “How do I get out of this one?”

Our subconscious minds run, arguably, around 90% of our daily operations. For example, have you ever been driving to a routine destination and once you get there you don’t remember the trip, or pass an exit while deep in thought about an issue? You were on auto-pilot, your subconscious was driving while you were off in wonderland. So how do we train our subconscious to aid in making our lives better? The same way we trained it to make our lives what they are now…repitition. Where we operate in our lives now is a direct result of what we’ve trained our minds to accept as ‘normal’. So, we are actually succesful in what we’ve conditioned and trained ourselves to be. So, if you’ve ever tried changing something about yourself but found that it just didn’t work, consider that 10% of your mind is fighting with the 90%…who do you think is going to win?

What does all of this have to do with handwriting? Our handwriting is merely a manifestation of our feelings on paper. It ultimately doesn’t matter what is written, you can tell how a person really feels by how they write. Because our handwriting is controlled by our subconscious we can consciously change our handwriting to affect changes in our behavior…I swear by this! No, it doesn’t happen overnight…it has to be exercised repeatedly. Each time you consciously remind yourself of why you’re writing differently it’s suggesting to your subconscious that it has to change… until it becomes automatic!

Here are some tips for change: (By the way Physical in my writings means extrovert and Emotional means introvert)

I would like to be more out going and extroverted (Want to be more of a Physical) : If your writing is small and leans to the left or straight up and down, write larger and lean your words more to the right. If your writing already fits this pattern, exaggerate it even more always keeping in mind why you’re doing it.

I would like to be less dramatic and take the time to think before I speak (Want to become more of an Emotional): Your writing is probably huge! Make a point to write smaller and sign your name smaller as well. Keeping in mind why you’re doing it each time.

I would like to feel more optimistic: When you write, slant all of your sentences upward…keeping in mind each time, why you’re doing it.

I am horrible with time management: Make sure that your margins on each side of the page are equally spaced…keeping in mind why you’re doing it each time.

I know there will be detractors to this concept as there were the last time, but I encourage you to try this if for no other reason…you’ve been trying everything else, why not try something different to get different results!

So, let me say that of course, of course, of course…this doesn’t solve all of your life’s problems, it may not even work for some people. Again my point here is to bring awareness to how we are reactive to life as opposed to proactive and this is what causes many of our life’s issues. You will encounter a lot less stress in your life approaching from this angle. It’s not that issues will not come to you…I promise they will but, isn’t driving a lot easier …now that you know how to drive?