I've read your file, Graduated high school at 11, top in your class at Harvard, holds doctorates or honorary doctorates from every ivy league university, semester abroad at Cambridge, head of your class at the Sonic Fighting Academy, nine tours of duty in Vietnam, six in Iraq, deployed in Nicaragua, Green Beret, Marine, Navy SEAL, stormed the beach at Normandy, practically invented counter-terrorism ops, Silver Star, Purple Heart, Congressional Medal of Freedom, winner of three AVN awards, Olympic alternate in archery, water polo, Badminton, BMX and Freestyle skiing, TIME man of the year in 1982, 1990 and 2002, finalist on Iron Chef season 3.

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