A Christian Apology to Lady Gaga

You don’t know me. I don’t know you. I don’t even know much about you, to be honest. I’ve never purchased any of your music, or watched a video on YouTube, or Liked or Followed. I read a news piece that linked to Gagavision No. 41 recently, and I was embarrassed.

So I’m writing to apologize.

I’m sure you remember: There was a man outside one of your concerts handing out “Get out of Hell free” cards and carrying a picket sign. You drove up and tried to talk to him, but he was pretty rude.

I’m a Christian, a conservative Christian who firmly believes in the fundamentals of the faith. Listening to the conversation you didn’t have with the man protesting outside your concert was, as I said, embarrassing.

It’s true that our scriptures are pretty clear about issues such as immorality, modesty, and sexuality. However, they’re also very clear on issues such as grace, humility, and love. One of my favorite verses is 1 Corinthians 13:2…

“If I … know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”

Sometimes Christians get caught up in righteousness and forget that, while the rest of the world may abuse people and freedoms to make their point, we cannot. We are nothing without love.

You said you were sorry your fans would have to see that. So am I. On behalf of Christianity – the global community of people seeking to be Christ-like – I apologize. His information may have been correct, but his manner and attitude were not. I’m sorry that you went out to meet someone who claims to represent us, and were not met with love.

I’d like to say, “It won’t happen again,” but, of course, I can’t make that promise. It’s actually quite likely, especially given your line of work and your particular – um – style, that it will happen again. And I’m sorry for that in advance.

If it does happen again, though, I wonder if you would be willing to work with us on what may seem to be a finer detail regarding vocabulary. That is this: Can we agree to not call these people Christian “Fundamentalists,” or “Radicals”?

My contention is that a “fundamentalist,” accord to Webster’s, “stresses a strict and literal adherence to a set of basic principles.” Angry protestors may be trying to strictly adhere to part of scripture, but they’re abandoning other parts – unintentionally, probably – and, thus, are not really fundamentalists.

Similarly, “radical” can mean one thing when we use it similarly to “fundamental,” and it can mean several things when we use it to express something “extreme.” Again, the angry protestors are “fundamental” or “extreme” about parts of Christian scripture, but certainly not 1 Corinthians 13.

Part of me would like to request that we don’t call them “Christian” either, but the truth is Christians need grace and second chances too. If we stripped the term “Christian” from everyone who has a lapse in decision-making, there would be none left.

That said, there’s no shortage of phrases that could be used to describe such people: Angry Conservative, UnChristian Protestor, etc. If you really want to upset them, they dislike being called “Pharisees,” whether or not it’s accurate.

I know you must be aware of how annoying it is to be misrepresented in the public eye, and that’s why I don’t feel uncomfortable asking for your cooperation in this. But if it is asking too much, that’s fine too, and my sincere apology still stands. I’ll wage my vocabulary war on other fronts. I can’t image how busy you must be anyway.

Again, sorry about the bitterness you experienced in the name of Jesus. I don’t think that’s how He would have met you.