One last Harry Potter post: Ten lessons.

This was going to be a laughfest about how crazy the scaryfans are, but instead it turned into an open letter to them. Note: nobody is allowed to complain to me about how I'm talking about HP too much. This is my journal, bitches. Complain in your own about what I write in mine if you must.Dear Bugfuck Insane Fans,What is wrong with you?

I have no answer to the above question. However, I do have several lessons for you.

1) You are not J.K. Rowling.2) You are not better than J.K. Rowling. Not that she's the greatest author ever, but no. You can't write her own characters better than she can.3) J.K. Rowling was not deliberately insulting your personal pet pairing.4) "Ships" are not actual boats. Stop calling yourself "the crew of the H.M.S whatever."5) Harry/Hermione is not going to happen in canon and it never was. There's nothing wrong with liking it, but stop claiming that it was/is/must be/should have been canon. Ron/Hermione has been obvious for some time now. If you were honestly convinced that JKR was planning to put Harry with Hermione from the start, you need to reread the books, this time with your actual glasses on.6) You can still write all the non-canon romance you want! At least until caltan takes over the world. None of the canon relationships are going to embody themselves, storm up to your fanfic, and burn it all down.7) Snape, regardless of his actual morality, is Dumbledore's man to the end. If you honestly think all that was going on in chapter two (and indeed at the end of the book) was what you saw on the surface, again, put your glasses back on before you go back to reading.8) Hermione has never been the epitome of Nerd Perfection. You can argue that her character is skewed in this one, but you can't argue that it came completely out of left field. She's always been kind of insecure and driven, not to mention a little spiteful when under pressure. This is okay. Flaws are good. Aren't you complaining about Ginny not having any?9) We see the books through Harry's eyes. Harry is a notoriously unreliable narrator. Therefore, sometimes we're going to get the wrong impression not because JKR is a low-class hack (she's a high-class hack!), but because her hero can be a bitch sometimes.10) Blaise Zabini has been canonically confirmed as hot. Also as black. These facts are not mutually exclusive.