The girlfriend watched the UAAP game yesterday, and we decided to have a nice dinner after the game while everyone around us was going batshit crazy because of the celebratory mood (or for Lasallians, gloomy mood) in the air. So off I went, and HOLY MOTHER OF PICKLES IT WAS RAINING HARD.

Not pictured: Ade getting soaked

Also, I forgot my umbrella.

So I was drenched when I got to the bus station, right? No, wait, I didn’t get to the bus station just yet. Because there was a flood blocking me and the bus station. I mean, come on, floods in Ortigas? What’s next, a golf club with a dick on it? No, wait. Anyway. I had three choices: brave the floodwater, and climb a wall to a dry spot, or cling to a fence and basically climb my way to a dry spot. By the way, the fence had live electrical wires from a nearby electric post all over it.

Totally safe.

Since I’m an idiot with no sense of self-preservation whatsoever, it was fairly easy to make a choice. Thankfully, I got to the bus station alive. Soaked to the bone, but alive. Although I think if I was burnt to a crisp in the middle of the rain it’ll make a funnier blog entry.

Anyway, I got on the bus, where it was packed and shit, but I actually managed to get a seat. I was thinking “AHA! GREAT VICTORY!” and was settling down to rest when this woman suddenly stood next to me and screamed out shit like “No, seriously, men should give out their seats to women in crowded buses!” and started hitting me with her bag. Painfully. I know, I know I embellish my entries, but I swear I am stating gospel truth here. There are like 20 men in the bus and she decides to pick on the most tired-looking, wettest bastard. Now, I don’t have qualms giving up my seat to women on the bus, but I don’t give up my seat to women who look about my age, DEMAND that I give up my seat, and especially not to those women who start beating me up with their bags. I had an almost primal rage to cuntpunch her. (Note: while she was fairly hot, “rape” did not come up once in my thoughts that night. That’s how pissed off I was.) Come on, she was doing that for an hour and called me “Billy”. What the fuck right?

Google Image Search result for “Billy”. Nope, looks nothing like me.

Anyway, the bus arrived at Cubao and I made sure somebody else aside from her got my seat when I got off. Heh. Ah, I was gonna have dinner with the girlfriend and the rest of the evening will be perfect.

Well, that was until the waiter told me “Sir, try this steak out, it’s big enough for fat people like you!”