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A dream.

Last night I dreamt I was talking to some people, and they were nodding and responding appropriately. I realized later I was talking to them in Chinese, and they weren’t Chinese speakers, but they said it was obvious what I was saying and no big deal.

This has happened to me in real life; I had an extended conversation with someone in Spanish who wasn’t really a Spanish speaker… a Venezuelan friend uncomfortably it out to me.

Later (not today) I’m going to write a post about “language hijackers;” who they are, why they don’t usually bother me, and what I do if they do start to bother me.

A rule.

I’ve been saying for a long time that I’m going to write a post about sample sentences, how to write them properly, and why it’s important. Today is not the day I’m going to write that post. But just in case I forget, I want to include this rule:

Sample sentences are supposed to help you understand the target vocab/text/language; they are not supposed to confuse you more. New rule: every time you have to look up grammar or vocab from a sample sentence that’s above your level, you get to kick the textbook author in the face.

A sunset.

Rather than grinding out the vocab and grammar today, I took a delicious nap. Then I drove to Seaside to eat pho, and when I got there, it was closed. Brutal. But it was also sunset, so I went to the beach and watched the sun set over Monterey Bay, before heading back to grind out the vocab and grammar.

The workload in my classes, it’s too much. We are told to study over twenty new words a day, and we have no idea which ones are important and which ones we’ll never see again. We could totally handle this quantity of content if there was more practice and less analysis. There’s not.

On the other hand, I feel like I’ve been placed at exactly the right level, and I like everybody, and I like the class. That has NOT always been the case over my career as a serial summer-intensive student. Count em: this is the SEVENTH summer language intensive that I’ve taken, and so far this is the one that I feel the best about.

Vocab is below; I’ll review it in the morning.

暑假 shǔjià summer break

疑问 yíwèn question, interrogation, doubt.

属于 shǔyú classified as, belong to

实践 shí jiàn practice, put into practice, fulfill

接触 jiēchù to touch, connect, access, be in touch with

维护 wéihù to defend, safeguard, uphold, maintain

考 kǎo beat, hit, take a test

类 lèi kind, type, class, category, like

吸引 xīyǐn to attract

不远千里 bùyuǎn qiānlǐ make light/go to the trouble of traveling long distance

Like this:

When it comes to talking about American national politics, you might want to back off. We are way touchier than we let on, and as a culture we do not casually discuss our politics with… you. We barely discuss it with each other.

To be clear, yes, I do have political conversations with other Americans, and since I have always had close friends who were conservative, we do talk about the hard stuff. But you have to know that 1) these are close friends, not just people I met at a meetup, and 2) these conversations are private; no one is there to overhear.In America sincere two-way discourse just does not happen in public anymore. And sometimes, even in private conversations with close friends that agree, someone gets too aggressive, and the topic gets changed.

So anyway, this summer somewhere in Asia, I don’t remember exactly who; someone… asked me, “Do you think Obama is going to be re-elected?”

I said “Yes.”

“Really?” she asked, “but he hasn’t done anything…”

So I thought about the end of the Iraq war (despite fierce opposition), and the end of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (despite fierce, erratic opposition), health care reform (despite people losing their minds) and all the other things listed here; but instead of engaging her, I did what my first instinct as an American told me to do, which is end that damn conversation.

Mind you, she is not an American so she might actually have provided stimulating discourse that might have done me some good, but… no. She might have been just making small talk, as political small talk is acceptable and polite all over the world; she might have been trying to be nice. However…

Talking politics (and religion) is not polite conversation among Americans, and you may ask “why?” but there is no why; this is our culture, and that’s the way it is whether you understand it or not, whether you like it or not. Americans get clubbed all the time with the “hey, that’s our culture” argument, and guess what, we have a culture too, and in our culture, politics is not polite conversation.

On top of that, I feel ZERO need to try to persuade someone who doesn’t even vote in the US. So forget it. End of conversation.

Four years ago, my coworkers back in China were discussing the finer points of American politics at the lunch counter… correction: the non-American coworkers were discussing it (clumsily); the Americans were either silent or, like me, had already bugged the hell out of that conversation. Anyway, after that discussion was over, one of them came to me, presumably speaking for the group, saying “We think we all should be allowed to vote, because the American presidential election effects all of us.”

She looked at me and fully expected me to engage. For my part, I drained all expression from my body until I felt as lifeless as a faculty administrator. And I said, “if you want to vote in the American election, you can apply for citizenship in the United States of America.”

I think she could already tell that I was ending the conversation there, but she started a reluctant answer anyway, something like “Yah, well I don’t want to have to….” I’m not sure how her sentence ended, because I had physically left the room by that point.

My friends, I don’t vote in your elections. If you’re serious about wanting the right to vote in ours, you may begin with the naturalization form and then continue by paying some taxes. I was trying to not be offended by the whole situation, but of course I was.

Even more offensive was the time my boss, an English man, was joking happily with everyone at the lunch counter, making some cracks about the incompetence of the liberals or whatever, and I happened to walk by. “JP,” he said, “can I buy your vote?”

I don’t think he fully understood what an offensive question this is to an American citizen. If there’s a price at which I will sell my birthright, you cannot afford it.

“YES.” I said angrily. “Give me your money. Let’s see it.” There was a hard look on my face as I walked away, and that’s the last I heard about American politics from that worthless pile of runny monkey shit. I went to Tumwater High School, shitbird.

Yesterday was eventful: I straightened out my frequent flyer miles in person, passed a motorcycle accident scene, and my laptop died. If this had happened in Taipei, I’d be blogging the crap out of it. Here in Seattle, I’m kind of bored of it.

Today: go to the gym, pull some weeds, clean up around here. Now: read some Chinese over some coffee and a blueberrry muffin.

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I awarded my annual Cities-that-I’ve-Been-To Awards last night at a gala celebration. Nobody actually showed up, but I looked damn good in my tuxedo, and I could speechify as long as I wanted without fear of the orchestra cutting me off.

Most Convenient Convenience Stores: 7-11, Taipei. I can buy water, top off my metro card, pay my cell phone account, buy spicy peanuts and malatang, toilet paper, free wifi… and sit in the window and watch people go by, if I want to.

Best Massage: Yide Massage, Shanghai. They’re trying to up-sell you to the oil foot massage now, but go with the traditional Chinese foot massage. Taipei foot massage comes close to their anatomical knowledge, but they’re much more interested in finding where it hurts… and if it doesn’t hurt, in hurting you until it hurts… although I was starting to learn to appreciate that…

Snappiest Peanuts: Shanghai. Whether I buy them fresh from Carrefour or in oily packages from the convenience store, I have never anywhere experienced that level of snappiness.

Most Civilized Commuters: Taipei Metro. They stand right/walk left on escalators. They let people get off the train before they themselves get on. They stand in orderly lines as they wait for the train. They help old people and give up their seats to folks who need it. They AREN’T. MESSY. It’s funny, I know a few people who distrust this level of civilized cooperation; more than one person I know has called it “robotic.” To those people I say, go ahead, cut in line, make a mess, be as barbaric as you want to be; Taipeinese people are not forced to behave that way by rules; it’s just that they have no desire to be barbaric like you.

Worst Internet: Shanghai. The Chinese government battles the hurtful perception that they are fearful and backward by being fearful and backward.

Worst Coffee: New York City. Not even a contest. I have never seen so many people roasting their own beans as in Taipei.

Best Vietnamese Food: Seattle. No contest.

Most Pathetically Car-Dependent: Seattle. Manila at least has jeepnies and a couple of trains. Public transit in Seattle is dreadful. Some people go out of their way to tell me that it’s good enough and to suck it up; these people are sorely ignorant. Sorely. F-ing. Ignorant. If you walk out your front door in Seattle, it could take you hours to get somewhere in Seattle without a car; in cities all over the world you can get around without checking a schedule. Yes, I know people who are car-less in Seattle; they do not have the freedom that car-less people have in big cities like New York, Shanghai; or similar-sized cities like Boston or Washignton DC, or smaller cities like… haha pick any city in Western Europe.

Worst Mexican Food: TIE; Taipei, New York City. Mexican food in Taiwan never failed to make me sad. The same was true for New York City, and YES I’VE BEEN TO QUEENS. I know plenty of white people and recent arrivals who say the same about Seattle, but I know where to find it all here.

Biggest American Junk Food Culture: Manila. I saw zero evidence of healthy food in Manila. There’s American junk food on every corner, and Filipino versions to fill in the gaps. I heard rumors that some of my nieces like to eat salad; I hope it’s true. There is a lot of junky Chinese food in China and Taiwan, but at least some of that is made from vegetables. I know that there are many American readers who will want to bash America for exporting that garbage, but there’s something else going on… Filipinos are hungrier than other people, and let’s face it; American chain restaurants are so damn easy to franchise…

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I’ve had quite a “final week” in Taipei, and today is my last full day. I made a point to hang out with the Adventure Club and do a bunch of tourist things before I go, but I’ve kept today simple: catch up on blogging, try a new café. I will start packing tonight.

Tomorrow there will be some morning laundry, a trip to Yummy Mountain, cleaning, and a leisurely trip to the airport.

I’m a little alarmed by how far behind I am on blogging. I have had an outstanding time in Taipei, and lately every day has been an adventure. When I have a few extra minutes, I’ll try to get to these stories: