Wednesday, February 3, 2010

All is well

I knew that today was going to be challenging when I woke up with my heart pounding because in my dreams, I was in a house located next to the ocean , and huge waves were coming towards the house. I rushed to close all the windows to prevent the water to come in but still, I could see it sipping in from under the doors, and flooding the whole house. Yes, you guessed it! My emotions have been running pretty high lately, and instead of eating my emotions, I have chosen to remain calm, and start to feel them because those wounds need healing, and it is time to stop stuffing myself, and start to heal those sacred wounds so they can allow more space for the new stories to come.

While on my way to work, I could see the fog in between the hills, and I couldn't help but think about how important is to be able to live in that Neptunian energy where we do not see or know where we are going, but we trust Spiritis guiding us in the right direction. Goddess will not put something in our path that we can not handle, and even those things that do not make sense today, may fit in the puzzle of life later on. I know it is hard to release the need to know what is going to happen next, what will life put in our ways, but at the same time, if we are to know everything that will happen to us, then life would be meaningless and boring. It is important for us to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that no matter what, we need to release the attachment to the outcomes we expect from situations and just let ourselves go with the flow, just let Goddess take us to where we are supposed to do, and to where we are supposed to be.

For the past couple of months, since I changed jobs, I've been feeling like Innana in her journey to the underworld because little by little, I am getting stripped from all the things that supported me before such as my confidence and experience until I am totally naked and there is nothing else to take away. Every day, I am challenged to do more and faced with projects I've never seen before and I have almost no instruction to the point that I get home and I feel that I am not good enough, that I can not do anything right, and that I make mistake after mistake. My self esteem is taking a toll and I am starting to wonder whether I made the right choices in the past. But then I remember, Goddess will not put anything in my path that I can not handle, and even this situation, as bad as it is making me feel, it is helping me grow and evolve. I just have to remember that She is guiding me, and in the end, all is well.