Xander looked up as the door was knocked on. It was an odd time
of day for the mailman. Tara was napping. It was just him and
the cat. He saved and got up to answer it, staring at the people
standing there. This could not be good. "What do you
two want?" he asked.

"Is that any way to talk to your parents?" his father demanded, pushing
his way inside. His mother followed.

"Yes, it is when you guys haven't seen me in over 2 years," he said
bluntly, slamming the door. Tara would wake up at that noise.
That way he had backup beyond Miss Kitty. "So, why the visit?"

"We need to talk to you about your uncle," his mother said firmly.

"Let me guess, he got arrested again?" he said dryly, leaning against
the wall to stay out of grabbing range.

"It's not right!" his mother said, starting to get huffy. "It's
not like they were that mean before."

"That was Sunnydale. They were so corrupt the government shut
them down," Xander reminded them. "In the real world things like
DUI get noticed. You get arrested for that shit in the real world."

"The judge was extremely hard on him," his father said. "Something
about how in the past he hadn't been rightly punished. They can't
do that. We need you to stick up for him and pay his lawyer's bills."

Xander snorted. "No. I don't think so."

"You're family," his father said coldly.

"You two never treated me like I was your son. You both would've
been better off if you had sold me off into an adoption. You made
that very clear more than a few times. Beyond that, I'm not his child,
therefore I'm not responsible for any of his bills, his mistakes, or anything
else he does. If his lawyer needs paid, they'll get it from him somehow.
They always get their money somehow. They might end up selling his
house if he has one but they'll get paid." He crossed his arms over
his chest. "Besides, even if I gave you money, you'd spend it long
before his lawyer got hold of you. I'm not paying you two to drink
yourselves to death finally. I earned everything I have. You
can too."

"Family doesn't do this to each other," his father said, starting to
sneer.

"Not like you ever wanted me as your family. The last time you
talked to me it was 'go get me a beer, you ungrateful little shit'.
Since then, I've found my own way."

"You were selling things while you were a minor," his mother said, glaring
at him. "That means we're entitled to part of it."

"By California law, you would've had to put at least half of it into
a trust account for my later solvency. They did that after all those
kid actors got ripped off by their parents. Beyond that, only one
story ever needed an adult signature and I got that by going to a judge.
They can bypass that. That means I don't owe you two anything."

"We'll tell the press that you're mean and evil to your family," his
mother shouted. "That you won't support us in our old age."

"And I can easily counter it. Because reporters *investigate*,"
he said bluntly. "That means they'd find evidence of a sealed CPS
file." He smirked. "Among other things, like my school records.
Including the notes from them about how I was late to school because you
guys couldn't wake up due to the hangovers. All the times that they
saw I had forged your name on report cards because you two were both too
drunk to sign them. How you never attended a single called meeting
by any principal. And a few of them made notes as to why. That's
beyond the fact that they'll talk to others, like the lawyer who just handled
Rory's latest DUI. They'll see he has nineteen back in Sunnydale
and for some reason never spent more than a week in jail."

"That's how it's supposed to be!" his father shouted.

"He's not some star who can wiggle his way out of it. He's a normal
man, and normal men get arrested for that stuff. Even stars get arrested
for DUI, they just serve less time in jail."

Tara froze them and came out of her bedroom, petting her cat when she
stood up and stretched next to her. "Maybe we should pay them to
go away?"

"They'll come back," he told her with a small shrug. He picked
up his phone, calling his agent. "Paula, it's me." He put her
on speaker. "My parents showed up. Tara has them frozen at
the moment. They're trying to get money from me."

"Are you going to pay them off to make them go away?" she asked.
"Other authors have in the past, Xander."

"No. They're drunks and they'll come back. Even if I had
billions of dollars I wouldn't pay them off."

"Can they hear us?" she asked.

"Don't know and really don't care. They threatened to go to the
press to say I was mean to my family."

"We can counter that?"

"In Chuck's files was a thick folder on them in case they tried this."

"I think he gave me something. Let me check." Her voice
got faint and they heard a metallic sound of a filing cabinet opening.
"Yes, he did give me a thick folder titled 'in case Harris's parents show
up'." She came nearer to the phone again. The sound of ripping
and she moaned. "This is more than enough to get a restraining order."

"Which would make it public," Xander pointed out. "I just want
them to go away and never come back without having to pay their asses."

"It'll probably cause some stink," she admitted. "Some do pay
them off."

"I'm not going to pay them to go celebrate and end up dead. They'd
probably expect me to pay for their funerals and things."

"That's a good point. You sure?"

"Yeah. Even if they take it to the press. Then you can do
a restraining order."

"Gladly. Tara, go ahead and unfreeze them. Are we going
to have to deal with yours?"

"I'm only a librarian," she pointed out. "Why would mine show
up?" She unfroze them, sitting on the back of the couch.

"Who're you? His girlfriend?" his mother demanded.

"No, his roommate. I like girls, not Xander." She stared
at her. "You're being mean and upsetting him." The older woman
sneered and made to hit her but Xander shoved her into a wall. "Xander,"
Tara chided.

"I'll be damned if they're going to hit you, Tara. Not like you
can defend yourself." His father hit him in the jaw. He groaned,
holding it. "That's your only free shot. Try it again, old
man."

"Xander," Paula warned.

"He hit me first." His father tried to hit him again but Xander
hit him back. Twice. A third time, and his father was on the
ground. Xander stared down at him. "The things you learn when
your parents don't give enough of a damn to wonder where you are," he said
dryly. His father had only connected one other hit to his arm.
"I'd leave. Before I call the cops to remove you. Since you
hit me first, you can't charge me with assault either. By the way,
before you try, the NYPD is like the LA cops. They pay attention
to things and arrest you for real. Not just throw you in the city
jail for a few days."

"Boy," his father sneered, getting up. "That was the wrong thing
to do. I'll see you ruined."

"I'll have a restraining order done by the time the cops get there,
Xander," Paula said. "They're on their way."

"Thank you." He looked at Tara, who was a bit pale. "Take
the kitty into your room." She nodded, doing that. His mother
tried to stop her but she blew her out of the way with a simple floating
spell. Someone pounded on the door. Xander looked. "It's
open!" An officer opened it, hand on his gun. "Officer, these
are my misbegotten parents from booze hell. They just tried to beat
me for not giving in to their extortion demand."

"We were called about a fight."

"That was me," Paula said from the phone. "Xander's father hit
him and Xander had to defend himself, Officer."

"He hit me," his mother shouted. "My husband was protecting me."

"No, I shoved you into a wall to get you away from Tara before you hit
*her*," Xander said. "And I'll gladly do time for it." The
officer stared at him. He took off his shirt. The officer winced.
"They're long term drunks. They came to get money since I'm just
now starting to make real money from my writing."

"I've seen other cases, sir. Do you need medical attention?"

"No. I've been socked in the jaw and the arm before. He
might because I may have broken something. Be damned if I'm going
to be hit again."

The officer nodded, calling for another officer to help him. "Let
us sort this out. If the parents can please sit?"

"Sure, I can fumigate the couch later," Xander said dryly. "My
roommate's in her room with our cat."

"That's fine, sir. Your girlfriend?"

"No, I live upstairs."

"In the building?" Xander pointed at the loft. "Oh, I see.
Roommate then. Is she all right?"

"I prevented my mother from hitting her. She was a bit shaken
so I had her move the cat." He sat down at the table. Another
officer stomped in. He waved. "Morning."

"It's afternoon, sir."

"It is?" He looked at the clock. "No wonder I was hungry."
He shrugged. "Okay."

The first officer looked at him. "Sir, are you on any medications?"

"No, Officer, I'm a writer. I was involved in a new story."

"Oh! I guess that's reasonable then." He and the other officer
shared a look. "What happened in order?"

Tara came out, shutting her bedroom door. "I was woken up by Xander
slamming the front door. His parents wanted money," she said quietly.
"I came out to support him while he called his agent for helpful ideas
beyond a restraining order because they were trying to blackmail him."
His mother sneered. "Threatening to ruin his reputation if you don't
get paid is blackmail."

"It is," the second officer agreed. "The roommate?" She
nodded. "Okay. You witnessed the altercation?"

"His mother tried to hit me. Xander protected me by pushing her
into a wall so I could get out of the way."

"She's like my sister. I messed up the last mugger that tried
to get her too," Xander admitted.

"Was that on a train, sir?" the second officer asked.

Xander nodded. "Probably. No, that was the one before.
The last one was outside. He decided to run when I pulled out a huge
hunting knife in a bad impersonation." He smiled sweetly. "The
one on the train I only hit twice and he decided he was going to give up
trying to grope and pickpocket."

"I think I heard about his arrest." He looked at the parents.
"Why is he bruised?"

"He hit me," Xander said. "I told him it was his only free shot.
He tried again and I laid him out. He connected once to my three
hits. The bruise coming up on my jaw was the first and the one on
my arm the later one."

"Officers, I'm his literary agent and Xander did provide me materials
in case they showed up to do this. I have multiple copies of two
CPS reports."

"Should be three," Xander admitted.

"You're right. I have three copies each of three CPS reports.
I also have notes here from his school record that state his parents were
abusive when they showed up and didn't often show up when called to deal
with Xander's tardiness or other issues."

"Ma'am, did you hear this altercation?" the second officer asked.

"Yes, I did. Xander had called me for ideas beyond paying them
off. He didn't want to pay them off to make them go drink themselves
to death. We were talking about a restraining order when his mother
tried to hit Tara."

"All right. Can we have a copy of that information, ma'am?" the
first officer asked.

"Yes, gladly. There's multiples of each," she assured him.
"Just in case it became necessary I suppose."

"Yup," Xander agreed. "Can you please at the very least remove
them from my house? Arrest them if possible but make them go before
I lose my temper in a way that would make Tara shop for mourning clothes?"

"Are you going to press charges?" the first officer asked.

"Yes, I am. I told them to go, I told them I wasn't paying them,
I told them how stupid threatening to go to the press to say I was mean
to my family was. I'll be damned. I'm not putting up with threats."

"Okay," the second officer said. "You do know she can charge you?"

"And I'll gladly go to jail," Xander assured him. "That's not
a problem." Paula moaned. "If she gets me for that, so be it,
Paula. At least I have a good defense. I'm not going to let
her hit Tara or anyone else while threatening me."

"Well?" the second officer asked the mother.

"She does and I'm pressing charges," Tara said bluntly, staring at her.
"Because she did try to hit me. I left someone who did that," she
finished quietly. "It won't ever happen again."

The officer looked at her. "Do you need something like medical
attention, ma'am?"

"No. Someone threatened to beat my parents for me," she assured
him, smiling slightly. "I haven't seen them since they tried to convince
me I was demonic so I'd come back to be their slave. Xander's helped
me heal a lot."

"Good for him, ma'am, and I'm happy you've gotten out of that cycle,"
the first officer said. "Well?" he asked the mother. "This
is your decision."

"He definitely won't be paying her if she does," Paula said dryly.
"I will make sure of it. There will be no payments to them in any
form."

"It's always better to not pay these sort of demands. Then people
come back," the second officer said.

"Exactly. Which is why I'm not paying them," Xander said.
He stood up. "You cane take me in and straighten it out down there
if you want. NP, guys. Really. Let me get my shirt and
shoes?"

"Sit down." The second officer looked at him. "That's a
lot of scaring."

"Not all theirs but most of it. I also worked on the local protection
patrol we had out in our former town. I got into a few brawls that
way." He smiled slightly. "Not that they ever gave a damn as
long as they had their liquor and beer." His father stood up and
lunged at him but Xander put him onto the floor, foot on his throat, staring
down at him. "Try it again," he offered, sneering slightly.
His father looked away and Xander pressed then got off him. "Get
him out of my house, please. Before you have to call an ME."
He walked into the kitchen, tossing Tara bottle of juice. "Want a
water or juice, guys?"

"No thank you, sir. Please sit at the table again."
The second officer hauled his father up, cuffing him, ignoring his swearing
and struggling.

"This isn't right!" his mother shouted, getting up. "He should
be taking care of us! We're family! You're being evil to us
on his say-so!"

"No, in the real world, people get arrested for things," Xander reminded
her. "Same as Uncle Rory got arrested for his twentieth DUI finally."
He sipped, seeing the horrified looks. "The town I grew up in was
so bad the FBI shut it down for being dirty. Apparently the judge
that he got last time decided the former ones were too light because the
most he got was a suspended license and a week in the city jail.
My family hasn't learned this isn't Sunnydale and the real world doesn't
do things like they did because they're not dirty cops."

"Clearly the ones out there had problems." The first one looked
at the mother. "What would've happened if he had killed someone?"

"It was their own fault for being there," she sneered.

"No, it's his fault for being too drunk to have sense," Xander corrected.
"He chose to drink, the same as you do. He could've gotten clean
after any of his DUI's. The state would've even paid for it.
He chose not to. The same as you and the paternal donor did."
He sipped his water. "This is your own fault, not anyone else's.
Take some responsibility for your own actions, Mother. Like having
a child, there's consequences. That's why you should've had me adopted
out." He finished his water and tossed it away.

"He's right. No one made him drink and drive. No one made
you two show up here to try to extort money or try to assault them, ma'am."
She shrieked and went after him with her nails and fist. The other
guy pulled her off him and Xander threw her against the wall again.
He wiped a hand over the scratches.

"I have a first aid kit," Xander offered quietly, going to get it for
him. He brought it downstairs, handing him some alcohol pads.
He saw the look inside and smirked. "Protection patrol med kit.
I was our field medic because our hospital killed people. A lot."

"Can you own some of that legally, sir?"

"Yes. It was all gotten with a legal prescription." He closed
it up with a smile. "I do try to stay on the legal side when I can.
Want to check my hunting knives?"

"Um, no, that's okay. Thank you for that and the bandaids, sir,"
the second officer said. "We'll get a statement once they're in the
car." He and his fellow officer walked the people down to their cars,
one of them staying to treat his injuries while the other went to take
a formal statement to charge them. His lieutenant was not going to
believe this one.

***

Xander looked up from his reading when someone cleared their throat.
He stood up with a smile. "Sorry," he apologized, putting his book
down.

"That's all right, I was running a bit late." She sat down so
everyone else could. "We are here to talk about a restraining order
that was temporarily granted?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Xander's lawyer from Paula said. "The parents in
question have made bail." She handed the report to the bailiff.
"The judge told them not to go on a news show like they had threatened
to do in their statement. We want to keep them from doing anything
else damaging."

"I saw the original complaint." She read over the orders from
the bail giving judge. She sighed. "Do we think they're going
to try again?"

"Yes," Xander said, handing the lawyer something. She opened it
and handed it to the bailiff. "I got that earlier today."

"It's not bluntly put as a threat, Mr. Harris, but I can see how they
are doing so. Your girlfriend?"

"Roommate, Your Honor. We're not together."

"That's fine." She reread it and marked it into evidence.
"Do we suspect a level of higher threat or lower threat? Do we think
they'll skip bail?"

"I don't know about skipping bail but I would guess yes. They
do live in LA and they're really bad drunks. They might be in the
bar when it's time to go to trial. They might forget all together,"
Xander told her.

"While my clients drink, they do not intend to come near their son again,"
the other lawyer complained.

Xander looked at him. "Really?" He handed over something
else. "Yesterday's letter to Tara from my mother. She didn't
know Tara existed before yesterday. I met Tara when she was a freshman
in college. At the time I was living in my parents' basement and
had no contact with them beyond them demanding money, favors, and to get
them more liquor and beer."

"Favors?" he asked grimly.

"Go get the tv out of hock and things needing fixed that they broke
and couldn't understand that plugging in would fix. At the top of
their lungs or else they'd beat me to death and raise the rent too."

"Oh." The letter was handed back to the judge.

"I think there's a reasonable precaution to keep the two parties apart,"
the judge decided. "If only because the arresting officers stated that
Mr. Harris said he was going to hurt his father more if he tried it again?"

"He's had his last free hit," Xander agreed. "I'm not a punching
bag."

"I agree with that sentiment," she assured him. "Where do you
work?"

"Home. I'm an author. Tara works at a branch of the New
York library system near our apartment."

"I see that listed on the request. Very well. I'm going
to grant this until after the trial." She wrote it out and handed
it to the bailiff for Xander. She banged her gavel. "It would
be a good idea in their criminal case if they found rehab," she told the
other lawyer.

"I've suggested it, they say it's not necessary."

"They still think that our former town's ways are real life too," Xander
warned him. "Like with my uncle's DUI."

The lawyer nodded. "I heard about that. Is there evidence
of what the former town was like?"

"An FBI report from where they shut it down."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris. Your Honor." He left.

Xander shook the lawyer's hand. "Thank you," he said quietly.

"Keep that on you, give Tara a copy to keep on her." He nodded
at that and left. She called Paula on the way out to let her know
how it had went. She worked for the publisher but this wasn't that
uncommon. She had done this before for former spouses, family,
and even a few children that wanted to suck other authors dry.

***

Xander walked in and paused. Something was very wrong. He
called the police when he spotted the blood. "I just walked into
my house, there's blood on a wall, my cat's missing, and so is my roommate."
He gave them an address. She said to stay on the line. He agreed
and cautiously looked in the various rooms. He found Miss Kitty in
his closet, cooing at her until she came out. Someone pounded and
walked in so he came down. "My place, guys. Found the cat.
Not my roommate Tara. We just got a restraining order from my parents
today," he told the officers. He nodded at the blood. "That's
not a good sign."

"You're very calm, sir."

"I've seen some bad things in my life," he said bluntly. "And
I'm going to kill them if it's my parents." They nodded and called
a crime scene unit. They made him sit at the table once they had
checked it for evidence. Xander heard the hiss and looked down.
"What?" He petted that area carefully again and winced. "I'm
sorry, Miss Kitty. I didn't mean to hurt you. Guys, they kicked
or hit her or something. She's got a sore spot on her side."

The crime scene officer came over to look at her. "That's a red
hair," she said.

"Her ex is a redhead but she's on the west coast. She wouldn't
hurt Tara either. Can I have the silver cellphone on the charger?
I need her aunt's number." They checked it for recent calls, letting
him get the number to call her from it but then they bagged it. "Aunt
Marge, it's Xander. Tara's missing. I need someone to come
get Miss Kitty to the vet because they kicked her or something. CSU
is here. There's a small smear of blood but I'm pretty sure she's
alive. I don't know but I'm controlling my temper," he assured her.

"Please. You know she'll worry more about her cat. Thank
you." He hung up and put his phone back in his pocket after turning
off the vibrate. He checked his missed calls just in case.
"Buffy called." He called her back. "Tara's missing, is Willow
out there?" He listened. "Thank you. No, just making
sure. They found a red hair on Miss Kitty. Thanks." He
hung up. "If she shows up out there, our friends will tell me," he
told the watching officer.

"You're still very calm."

"I'm at the level of volcanic temper," he admitted. "If I find
them, I'm going to fuck someone up to the point where they're going to
beg Satan for mercy." He heard a woman shrieking. "That's her
aunt," he called. She was let in. He handed over Miss Kitty.
"The sore area's here," he said with a hand over it but not resting on
it. She looked around and nodded. "Any idea?"

"No. You'll get her back?"

"Oh, yeah, and she'll be telling me stop hitting them too. She
takes her to the vet on 60 something west?"

"I know the place. She's one of ours. We'll watch Miss Kitty
while you hunt, Xander."

"Let me know if you hear or find something out." She nodded and
left. Xander settled in to think.

"Sir, what reasons would anyone have to take her?" the officer asked,
sitting across from him.

"She's my roommate and I had to get this earlier," he said, passing
down her copy of the restraining order. "They wanted money and threatened
to get it one way or another. If it's related to the red hair, her
ex-girlfriend is a bit mentally bad at the moment. She cheated and
Tara left her so she's shown up a few times to get her back, even though
Willow's married now. Buffy said she thinks she's on that coast but
she'll check and tell me if she's not." He stared outside then at
him. "I doubt it's because she's a Wicca or her aunt would've heard
since her aunt runs a shop."

"For their kind?" Xander nodded. "Okay." He made notes
of that. "Will you let us handle it?"

"Hey, if I find them, I'll call you and you guys can come pull me off
them," he promised. "You guys find them first, good for you."
Willow appeared and an officer gasped. "Way to be UC, Willow."

"It wasn't me. I had tea with her earlier to apologize, Xander.
The priests made me see how bad I was," she said quietly. "He brought
me here to apologize."

"None that I've heard and I would have. I was playing kitten poker
last night," he muttered, frowning some.

"Kitten poker?" the officer asked.

"Some of the people we know play kitten poker," Xander admitted.
"I get a lot of information from them when something bad is happening around
here." He waved a hand around. "They would've told me if something
like them was coming after Tara."

"What do they do with the cats?" the officer asked.

"Eat them. No, I don't owe them anything. I'm actually pretty
decent at it," he admitted. The officer nodded, writing that down.
"It's not a habit," Xander told him. "Just now and then when I need
information for someone. One of the ladies that goes to the shop
has a daughter that ran away. They spotted her for me. Things
like that."

"Do you write true crime stuff?" the officer asked.

Xander smiled. "Sci-fi/fantasy. I'm Alexian Harris."

"Oh, okay."

"That information source goes back to when we were all younger and helping
out in a very bad town," he said quietly. "So bad the FBI had to
get into our department and gutted it."

"They didn't respond to things like a high death rate so we had a patrol
to help people make it home," Willow said, looking at him. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not ready yet," he told her.

"I get it." She backed off. He was still pissed at her.
"Could this be your parents?"

"I got the restraining order against them earlier," he said, looking
at her. "They're out on bail. I don't think it'd be her parents.
They haven't contacted her since Buffy ran them off. They were a
lot like mine only they thought girls were slaves," he told the officer,
who wrote it down.

"I can check on them," Willow promised. "I've been keeping a virtual
eye on them." She walked out and disappeared from a more hidden spot.

"How did she do that?" one CSU officer asked.

Xander shrugged. "I can't."

"Okay." She made note of it but in her private notes, not the
official ones.

Xander stared at the doorway. Something wasn't right about that.
Willow had shown up at just the right point but she was still under priestly
care. He mentally grimaced but still stared at the blood streak.
He took the notepad to write something down. "If they come after
me, this is my literary agent." He stared at the officer. "If
I disappear, make sure my laptop gets to her?" He nodded, making
that note. "It should be in the bottom desk drawer, in the safe drawer."

"The bottom drawer is missing, sir," the officer said when he looked.

"Hmm." He considered it. "I have LoJack on it. She
can get it." The officer nodded, going to call her.

"Sir, we're going to have to seal the apartment for a few days," one
CSU said. "Do you have anywhere to stay?"

"I have money, I can hit a hotel." She nodded. "My main
things are upstairs." She walked him up there, taking note of what
he was taking. He found a note and stuffed it in there when
she wasn't looking. He grabbed his other ID case, looking in it.
"I need the blue and silver things," he said, handing it to her.
"There's an ATM card missing. Tara has her own."

She nodded. "Which bank?"

"First National." He pointed at the other one. "That's my
backup of it." She took down the number on it and let him take that
then put the wallet into a bag. He looked and grabbed something else.
"That'll work." He looked at her. "I'm going to get into my
weapons case. It has mediaeval and more modern weapons for comparison
and research purposes," he said quietly. "I'll tell you if something's
missing but I would appreciate you guys not forcing the lock on it."

"If it's legal why would we?"

Xander smiled. "One was a gift from a former commando."

"Oh." He walked down there, getting into the one that was at the
base of the stairs. She gasped. "Yeah, that's ... a bit much,
sir."

"I use it when I write the hunting series, Officer. I'm going
to securely lock it so no one can get into it." He pulled out something
and tossed it into the bag. Then a second weapon. He locked
and sealed that one. He went to the other one. "My battle axe
is missing." He stared, looking around. "No, it's there," he
said with a point. "Can I put it back?" One of the CSU
checked it and let him put it back into the cabinet. He looked.
"There's a sword missing but that was upstairs." He checked.
"Tara's working kit isn't in here." He closed and locked it, making
sure no one could get into it. He went into her room, looking under
her bed. "That's usually in there." They nodded, taking it
out to dust for prints. He took the notepad to write something down.
"To compare her ex's fingerprints, talk to him," he said quietly.
"They have the files locked. Do not tell him that Tara is missing
or they'll be annoying." She nodded at that. "Mine I'm
sure you can find all over."

"We'll need a comparison sample," she said. She took his and let
him grab his bag and head out. She searched the room. It was a nice
room. Very girlish. It was clear those two weren't together.
She even had her own bathroom. She glanced in the storage area but
nothing stood out to her but some covered lumps of boxes.

***

Xander walked into the warehouse that night, going back to the kitten
poker tables. A few people spotted him and gasped. "Who has
her?" he asked calmly. "Just tell me and I don't have to get mad
at anyone but whoever it was. Them, you can hold a funeral for."

"We heard Rosenburg was out," one said timidly. "And your parents."

"Yup, on both counts. Willow showed up earlier." He looked
around. "Anyone?"

Xander nodded. "Thank you, guys. Let me know if you hear
anything, please." They nodded. "Especially since whoever did
it knocked Tara out. There was blood. They even hurt the cat."

One of the demons winced. "She'll kill them herself."

"Yup," Xander agreed. "If I don't get them first. You can
tell Raul or not. If I'm blocked, I'll release some anger since he
has vampire guards." He smirked and walked out, heading to that store.
In Chinatown's back alley no less. He walked up to the door.
The vampires gave him dirty looks. "Don't start. They kidnaped
Tara." They let him inside. Raul met him in the front of the
herb shop. "I heard you know?"

"I do."

"Which?"

"Rosenburg." He looked him over. "She wants her back."

"Is Daniel all right?"

"He's fine. She knocked him silly with a memory spell."

"I'm going to beat her ass. Where is she?"

"I called in an anonymous report so the cops could get her. That
way you can fuss instead."

"Thanks, man. Where?" He handed over a piece of paper.
"Thank you." He left, glancing at it. Well, he knew that area
of town slightly. He had hunted down there a few times. Xander
saw the officers busting in and followed subtly. Willow sent them
away magically. "That won't work on me," he said, stepping out of
the shadows.

"You're evil," she sneered.

"No I can't say as I am. Angry as hell." He stared at her.
"Let Tara go, Willow. You lost your chance with her when you cheated
on her and you're throwing Daniel away because you're being stalkery."

"You don't know anything!" she shouted.

"I walked in and caught you!" he shot back. "Not to mention she
made a tape of it and sold it." Willow gasped. "No one's told
Daniel yet." He stared at her. "Let Tara go, Willow.
This is bad magic. They'll come for you again."

"They let me go, said I was fine now," she said smugly. "The things
you learn from your parents."

"Yeah, really," he said dryly, pointing behind him. Two priests
were walking in. "Remove the spells from Tara."

"No one else can have her!" she shouted, trying to get away from them.
They were immune to magic.

"If you actually loved her, you'd want her to be happy!" Xander shot
back. "You'd want the best for her, not whatever this obsession of
yours is doing to you!"

"I'm not!"

"Bullshit! You even hurt your cat!" She growled and waved
at him. A bright light took him. The priests got her.
Tara got freed and they watched her cry and kick Willow a few times before
stomping off. They'd deal with wherever Xander was later.
They escorted the nice young woman to the local police station, where the
officers were gathering for another try. They told them that Willow
had run away and left her there so they had rescued her. That they
had dealt with Willow's addiction recently so they were watching her.
By then Tara was out of her anger and shock, just sobbing in a corner.
The priests called her aunt for her. Since Harris was now displaced
somewhere else.

***

Xander landed and blinked a few times, looking at the fence around him.
"Huh," he said, forcing his anger back down. Tara had been awake
and alive. The priests would help Tara. For right now, he needed
to help himself. Because this was not a good sign. He had no
idea where this was.

"Pretty night, Agent Harris," a guard with a dog said as he walked past
him.

Xander stared at him then smiled. Oh, yeah, it was bad.
"I take it there's another of me here?" Talk about magic going screwy
around him! This was almost cute of Willow. It gave him reinforcements
from this *Agent* Harris. The guard stiffened. "Chill, dude.
I just ran into Rosenburg having a magical crackhead moment. I'm
not dangerous."

"We've had problems with her in the past, sir. Let me get your
other self down here?"

"Sure. That's cool. Whatever your protocol is." The
guard relaxed some, calling that in. A few people came jogging his
way. "I've seen you somewhere," he told the guy in front.

"There should be some sort of flux that happens if you two touch," Mac
said. "But there's not."

"That's because I'm too far off this realm," writing Xander told him
with a smile. "Let's go talk? I'm trying to be optimistic that
the priests can handle Willow."

"Priests?" Xander asked.

"I handed her to Black Morgan, he's of the White Order."

"Ooooh," Xander said, shivering. "That's nearly evil."

"She was upsetting Tara."

"This I wanna hear," he decided. "C'mon, let's hit the infirmary
to make sure you're all right."

"Sure." He walked off with him, the others walking around them.
"So, we do what?"

"We're basically the investigative arm of the government for demon or
human on demon crimes," Xander told him. "Though I do get a lot of
weapons cases."

"Cool. Tara and I are in New York right now. I just defeated
the evil, begging parents. They weren't amused that the real world
didn't work like Sunnydale. Uncle Rory got put away for DUI finally."

"Wonderful. So, did your Sunnydale fall in?"

"No."

"Did you guys face the First Evil after Buffy died and got resurrected?"

"She hasn't died since tenth grade," he said calmly. Damn, he
was hearing the future he didn't want to hear.

"Here she died facing Glory."

"Glory was in New York looking for the Key. We faced her down
and blew her ass up."

"Okay," DCIS Xander said. "We faced her in Sunnydale."

"Our Sunnydale got shut down by some guys in the FBI after I turned
in some cults with high weapons I wanted to pet."

"Cool!" He grinned at himself. "Which agents?"

"Um... LA...Epps? I think? There was an Agent Edgerton there
who tried to stalk us around on patrol. I talked a lot with Colby
Granger and David...what's his name. I can't remember."

"We work with Epps and his team as local liaisons out in LA," DCIS Xander
said with a grin. "It's cool that we do have some intersecting times."

"We lived in LA for a while but Tara graduated and the new literary
agent wanted us in New York so we were closer. We lost my first one
for being bi and open about it. Then my editor got eaten by a larger
company so he got moved to New York too." He looked back at Taylor.
"You're an officer, right?"

"Head of the Manhattan felony lab."

"That's probably where I saw you. Dealing with one of my exes."

"Don't tell us you're still dating deadly things," Mac moaned.

"Well, not right now. In the past I have." He beamed at
himself. "Why? Did you marry the cheating whore Anya?"

"She cheated on you?" DCIS Xander asked.

"With Willow. Which was when Tara and I decided they needed to
be helped. We cast redeeming wishes through the wish demons that
showed up. Willow to get married and have a family that she adored.
Anya to find faith and charity." He smiled a huge grin. "She's
very happy."

Mac Taylor cackled, leaning on the guy next to him. "Oh, that's
so evil!" he said.

"She deserved it," he said with a smile and a shrug. "Especially
since I walked in on them."

"That's cool. Hey, I know you," he told Daniel. "People
freaked when I bought a cabin next to your friend and former boss.
They ended up having to tell him about the Initiative stuff. I handed
an NID/IOA plant to a poker buddy for tentacle jewelry duty when they bothered
both of us. One of your docs fixed my rib really nicely."

"Sure," Daniel agreed, shaking his hand. "I can see Jack freaking
out if you moved next to him and he didn't know about demons." He
compared them. "I think you're probably a few years younger than
our Xander."

"Possibly. I left Sunnydale when the FBI shut it down for being
so corrupt. Now we're hunting in New York when we have to.
Tara and me."

"That's fine," Daniel assured him with a smile. "Was I okay?"

"Max did offer her husband to you for some info on demons and something
about Ancients and things." He shrugged. "I don't know how
you reacted. I was stoned on the painkiller for my broken rib.
Doctor Lam was *really* nice, Carter was kinda scary as a pushy, disbelieving
blonde lady, and Mitchell tried really hard to be nice and decent to me."

"Good." He smiled. "Let's make sure you're okay from your
trip," he ordered.

"Sure, I get that problem. I could have spatial radiation or something."

"Wow, it took me forever to learn about that," local Xander said.

"I needed it for a book and had Chuck explain it to me. He had
a BS in physics but liked the agent lifestyle better. More girls."

"That I can definitely see," his other self sighed, nodding. "I
need a new girl."

"Um, the one to east. It was only seven trees. Only took
me two days."

"With a broken rib?" he demanded. Xander nodded. "Ow."
He rubbed his last broken one.

"It's fully healed now. Doctor Lam put it back into place and
took care of it when she spotted the internal bleeding. She was there
to see why I had sucked up so much energy and to make sure it wouldn't
make anyone else glow."

"That sounds like her," he decided. "Okay. Chase?"

"I'm not picking up anything wrong but I want to run a full body CT
to make sure. That would pick up any strange energy output."

"She let it come out in some sort of goop bath like they did machines."

"I know what you're talking about," Daniel admitted. "That may
be how Willow sent you here instead of away. Let me look that up
in case." He left.

Xander shrugged. "You up for that?"

"Sure." He got up and took off his two concealing necklaces, letting
himself hold those. Chase had him strip down in the CT room and lay
on the bed. It didn't take that long. When he got out, he was
taken back to the local Xander's apartment for the night. They could
talk in the morning.

The sad thing was his muses were humming at the interesting goings on
but he didn't feel the desire to write. They knew he was in danger.

***

Daniel watched the new Xander watch them. He didn't seem to be
too bothered but his Xander was deeper than most people expected.
He sat down next to him at the picnic table. "Watching us?"

"I'm thinking I could be a top ten on the best sellers list if I could
make this idea into a story," he admitted, looking at him. "But I
might get busted."

"You're in a whole other world," he pointed out. "I doubt your
people would disagree with it."

"Riley's boss might."

"We're nothing like them."

"Yeah but they're having hunting squads."

"Ah. We're still a few years ahead of you on that. They
got moved to Homeland in ours and most of the ones we've asked about."

"Eww."

"Basically, yes." He smiled. "Some of them might exist in
your world, the same as I do."

"I know. I'd have to change appearances and things."

He nodded. "Probably. If you do it that way, it might work.
I know the you here is a hit on YouTube for various arrests."

Xander smiled. "I'm just meant to be a star."

"Of course you are." He smirked back. "So, how did you like
the mountain?"

"I saw the infirmary and the elevators."

"I figured they hadn't given you a guided tour. Ours might've
tried to sneak off."

"They assured me they weren't like Finn's people. The blonde lady,
Carter, was a bit of a stick up the ass sort. Totally disbelieved
magic even when it was right in front of her. Cam didn't yell at
Tara when she slammed him into the ceiling because he was checking on me
when she showed up to do the same thing."

"Cam can be laid back sometimes." He smiled. "Sam.... she
probably won't believe magic unless she can get it to work for herself.
Here, she was a slayer activated over the age of aging out thanks to something
Willow did to help Buffy."

"We have more than two?"

"The First Evil situation meant that they had to activate all of the
potentials. Later on, Willow gave the older ones that had aged out
a chance to take it up." He smirked. "We train them here since
the old Council got blown up. You're actually the head of the council
since Giles is coming back from a brain sucking demon."

"Eww. I'm in charge?" He smirked and nodded. "None
of the others exist?"

"A few. Wesley and you rebuilt it since Rupert was in a magical
coma."

"Did he bitch when he woke up?"

"Many times but the girls sided with you and Wesley. Wesley handles
the current roster of where everyone is and patrol schedules. You
handle the daily life things and have hired a lot of help for the girls.
The base takes advantage of it too."

"I'm guessing you guys would need it."

"Of ten. We back up the girls for apocalypses."

"Wow. You guys do federal crimes?"

"Yes. Mostly. Some places don't have local offices so we
handle theirs too."

"Huh."

"The you here was very instrumental to the forming of this agency, Xander.
He's done a lot more work than most everyone else seems to do, including
maintenance work at the start, and helped the agents here build into a
cohesive team."

"I'm majorly impressed with myself."

Daniel smiled. "You should talk to him. I know the others
aren't really bothered as long as the books don't come here." He
got up. "I'll talk to Sam Carter, see if she wants to give herself
some information." He left to go up to the lab. "Guys, the
other Xander ran into us," he told them. It was only Abby, Rodney,
Sam, and Radek in the main lab.

"How?" Abby asked, smiling at him.

"He bought the cabin next to Jack's fishing cabin." Sam cackled
at that, shaking her head. "Apparently there was some mutual freaking
out and the us there got told about the Initiative. He said the you
there still had the rod up your hind end and didn't believe in magic even
when it was right in front of you but Cam had been decent and friendly
to him. Hadn't even yelled at Tara when she pinned him to a ceiling
when she found him checking on Xander."

"How far behind us are they?" she asked.

"Probably pretty far. He never mentioned meeting Teal'c but he
did mention meeting Thor. Apparently Thor let him vent during that
wood chopping with the broken rib thing."

"Huh."

"Doctor Lam was there."

"So, a few years back," she decided. "Okay. I might be able
to give her some ideas of where to look so she quits freaking out.
I know I did a few times." She shook her head quickly. "Atlantis?"

"I didn't ask."

"If that Xander is anything like ours, he's got an informational line
to the Mountain," Abby pointed out dryly. "You said Xander knew who
you were when you showed up, Danny."

"He did. Greeted me by name and he had been on a case when I came
in."

"I did," he agreed, letting her kiss him and giving a smirk back.
"Naughty. We're in the lab."

"At least we're not doing DNA work so we don't have to worry about weeding
out your spit," Sam teased with an evil smirk of her own.

Abby pinched her. "Be nicer! He's my Rodney."

"We all know that," Sam assured her. Radek muttered something
about gagging on the sugar flowing from them, making Daniel laugh.
She smirked, heading out to find that Xander. He spotted her and
stiffened some. "Relax. I did since that time in my life.
Do we have another project out of the mountain?"

"I heard something about a flying one. The demons all hoped you
guys had a way back. They kept saying you guys were heroically stupid.
Especially since the Ancients hadn't liked demons and created slayers because
of it." She gaped. He shrugged. "At least in ours."

"Huh. I never considered that." She nodded. "What
did my hair look like?"

"Kinda shorter than you're wearing it now, but a bit more wind blown."

"Leather jacket?"

"BDU's. T-shirt. Boots."

She nodded, pulling out her ID card. "About that length?"
He looked and nodded, smiling at her. "I had a broomstick up my butt
then," she agreed, cracking him up. "I'll give you something to help
the me there calm down." She left, going back to the lab. "Atlantis
is in the first or maybe early second year," she said as she walked in.
Rodney moaned and shuddered. "I looked like my ID card so that's
five years old."

Abby beamed at her. "Good idea, Sam."

"Oh, and he said in their world, Ancients made slayers." Rodney
stiffened, staring at her. "That they knew about demons."

"Huh," Abby said, getting into the database copy they had on base.
She did a search for the word 'demon' and didn't come up with anything.
Rodney took over, doing a faster search for another few terms. Something
did come up. "They knew about the scythe."

"It says the Ancients examined it and wondered about the power in it,
but did not interfere." He and Sam shared a look and she took over
searching for that information. Rodney settled in to write himself
a long letter. He also encouraged him to find the Abby in his world.
Since he was so blindingly happy with her, his other self should find some
of that.

***

Xander looked at his other self that night. "Do you think the
others would mind if I wrote this in my world?"

"No. I asked." He smirked. "Don't include us?"

"I'll make us a quiet corner worker chugging away at cases and weapons."

"That's cool." He ate a bite and got up to go into the office,
coming back with a removable hard drive. "Tony said to make sure
you get him right. He's a very good playboy who can't find anyone
out here. So is Eric." That Xander beamed, going to put it
into his jacket pocket. "Do you think there's all these people there?"

"Probably at least most of them. I'll change enough things that
no one's recognizable."

"They'd like that."

"I'm only worried about Finn's people."

"No, Riley's crap but they won't mind. It's nowhere near them."

"They warned me not to let anything of Sunnydale or them show up.
They're trying to figure out if my hunting series is based on real hunters."

"Like the Winchesters?"

"Who?"

"Um, the training team for the slayers is a father and two sons who
have hunted demons for years."

"I have a set of twin brothers and one female hunter being badasses
and handling things. If we can get me inside the apartment I'll give
you my promo copies."

"That'd be cool."

"I gave Buffy the emo vampires stories. My first agent wanted
me to write more like them because they were selling. She cackled
*so* hard. Woke the neighbors up cackling. Then I gave them
to Cordy to make her cackle and pick on Angel." He beamed.

The local Xander snickered. "I would've done the same thing.
How is your Buffy?"

"In LA. It was nice she apologized for the last apocalypse and
the things that happened afterward. I'll go back for major things,"
he said at the look he got. "Willow's gone too far."

"Here too. She's in the jail."

"Maybe I should take a letter from this one to mine. It might
help her." Xander nodded at that. "You think she would?"

"I think she'd be horrified that you sicced the White Order on her,"
he admitted. "You do know that they're probably beating the evil
out of her?"

"Yeah, and I also know that she's threatened Tara; I was rescuing her
from a kidnaping of Tara this time, and she had even sunk to hurting the
cat."

"That wish was kinda strong."

"It let her pick someone who'd make her happy if she let herself be.
Even before the wish she tried to make them forget I existed and take over
my apartment. All sorts of neat things like that."

"Hmmm. How do you solve a problem like Willow?" he quipped dryly.

"I'm all for them beating her ass. Even if they are going S&M
on her, as long as they make her see that her magic addiction is the problem."

"I'm sure she will," he agreed quietly. "Here, Willow's hurt the
base and me repeatedly." They shared a look. "I'll be writing
one to her if she doesn't. I never want you to have to play 'what
if' with the universe." He stuffed his mouth.

Xander shuddered. "I'm sorry."

"So am I but I'm mostly healed. Now and then heavy magic makes
my arm ache where it was nearly destroyed during it." He gave him
a weak smile. "It's only part of who we are. Beyond that we're
fascinating, wonderful, slightly intelligent, handy with weapons, and very
good lovers. Even if you are living UC in New York."

"Being undercover as a normal isn't so bad. The cops in LA that
used to shadow me on dates sent the file to the cops in New York.
I've helped a few times through another writer that I kinda look up to.
Then the apocalypse happened. So I think they respect me more, I
hope. I think they do though. They think I'm kinda creepy and
odd."

"Nope. Not right now. Anya and I made another try after
she got re-demoned after she died in Sunnydale's last apocalypse, but she'd
have to die again because they couldn't take her powers from her.
We play now and then. Everyone complains of course. Apparently
she's loud." Xander snickered at that. "She is."

"Yeah, she was." He shook his head, stuffing it again. "No
one else?" he asked once he had swallowed. The twinkie and frito
pie was *great*. He needed this recipe.

"A few that I was liking but they ended up not being able to handle
it. I'll find one sometime. You? You're living with Tara?"

"I had them give her a very girlish, pretty, delicate bathroom for her
pleasure. I have the bigger one upstairs. She ignores it when
I bring home dates and I take her to events so she can meet nicer girls
and I can threaten anyone who might hurt her. Like a proper brother."

"Good! She could've used it." He smiled. Someone knocked
and they looked over. "Who is it?" he called.

"Fargo."

"Come in." He came in and looked at them before handing over a
stack of envelopes. "Thanks, Fargo. Me, this is Fargo, he used
to be the assistant to the head of a super classified DoD company.
Now he works in the lab and proofreads."

"Hi, Fargo." He shook his hand. "Delivery duty?"

"Please." He smiled. "So you write?"

"Yup, and I'm an undercover hunter. Usually I'm chained to my
keyboard until Tara nags me to eat and stuff."

"Ours works way too hard but not that hard yet." He smirked at
his Xander. "You're eating twinkies and fritos?"

Xander got him some and they sat down to talk about DCIS. Since
Fargo was so new, their Xander could tell him stories about the early days
of the base. Including before Tony got there. Things were much
more insane back then.

***

Dawn finally got there that weekend. She stared at the second
Xander. "No apocalypse?"

"Willow," their Xander told her.

"Ah." She nodded. "Bitch." She looked him over.
"What's new from here?"

"The bag, the hard drive I was using, and the letters."

She shielded the bag and added something to it so the hard drive wouldn't
erase. "Okay, let's see if I can do this. Where do you want
to appear?" He shrugged. "No preferences?"

"I'm not sure if our apartment has been unsealed by the crime scene
guys after Willow kidnaped Tara. How about the park? Or maybe
the store....." He considered it. "Do you need pictures?"

"Yup."

He sighed and thought, picturing the shop. Then he switched and
got a picture of the cabin off Daniel's PDA. He had pictures on it.
"That's his buddy's cabin. I have my cards so I can fly home."

She looked at it. "Is it exactly the same?" He nodded.
"Perfectly?"

"I think one cushion was blue checked instead of red."

"Okay." She tested his magical signature. "How did they
weed the hellmouth energy out of you?"

"Something Doctor Lam did. I was asleep."

"Decent," she decided. "We might need that." She opened
the picture, finding the one out of many that matched his energy signature.
She found traces of him there so she knew it was the right one. She
opened up the portal. "There you go. Hold the bag against your
chest. It's shielded but there's some wind between." She beamed
at him. "Beat her for us too."

"I will." He shook hands and walked through. He nodded and
waved once he was over there. She closed the portal.

"How in the hell?" Jack demanded from the porch. It wasn't every
day even he saw a shiny mirror looking hole open up in midair in his yard.

"Willow sent me to another dimension. I have letters for some
of your people from the ones there of them."

"Huh?" he asked.

"The guy with the glasses? Your buddy?"

"Daniel, yeah, why?"

"He was running their agency that investigated demon crimes."

Jack shook his head quickly. "Huh?" Xander sat down on the
porch steps and pulled out letters, letting him pluck out a few others.
"I know them. I can have them delivered."

"They're from themselves there." He beamed. "They
were pretty cool for being agents and stuff. Oh! Sam said to
add a note onto yours earlier today. She said to tell you to read
McKay's after he does because there's some info in there on the ZPM thingy?
No idea what it means but she did mention spores and a shield and losing
someone named Carson?"

"I can do that," he decided. "Why come back here?"

"She needed a picture and that Daniel had one."

"That makes more sense. Anything else you brought?"

"A hard drive? They said I could write about DCIS. Apparently
they're slightly insane from being federal agents investigating demon crimes.
They all complained about the me there's multiple loud, mean girlfriends."

"Sure, I can understand why." The portal opened and a new bag
got tossed across then another bigger one. "Thanks," he called, waving.
The Daniel on that side smirked and waved. "Fucking nutsoid,"
he muttered, going to get it. "Kid, this one's yours," he said, handing
it over. He looked at the other one. Messages from the ones
there to the ones here at Stargate and a few other places. "I don't
think they'd believe that," he decided.

"You never know. Should I deliver those?"

"No, most of these go to my people."

"You sure?"

"Yup. Head home, kid."

"Okay. Can I get a cab?"

"Not all the way out here. I'll drop you in town on my way to
deliver these." The boy beamed. Really, the kid wasn't a bad
neighbor. A bit bouncy and happy when he was in a good mood.
Protective. Didn't party too loudly. He'd almost miss the kid.
He drove them into town, dropping him at the bus station. "Take the
bus to Denver and catch a flight. That's the easiest way."

"I can do that. Thank you." He waved and walked inside,
calling home. "Hi. I'm back." He listened to her babble
and squeal at Paula. "Guess. But I did get to see the other
Xander and all his buddies. I'm in Colorado Springs and I'll be back
by tonight?" He beamed. "Taking a bus to Denver to get a flight
to New York. Sure. I can do that." He hung up.
"I need a bus to Las Vegas. Apparently my agent wants me there."

"That's fine, sir." He selected that and it came up. "There's
one bus change in Denver."

"That's cool." He paid with his card and went to the bookstore
and candy shop next door. He avoided getting his own books.
They were on prominent sale. "Marked down already?" he pouted.
"Huh."

"He's a very popular author but he's got something new coming out,"
the saleslady said with a smile. "Do you like his stuff, sir?"

"Actually, I am him," he admitted with a smile. "And yeah, there's
something in the hunting series coming out next, then Tral's next part
after that. That'll be in three months and then at the end of five
months for the Tral one."

She gaped. "You're taking a bus?"

"To Las Vegas. I had to take one to Denver anyway." He shrugged.
"It works for me. I can get stuff done while I'm on there.
Then I'll head home." He grinned.

She shivered. "That's very interesting. Not many authors
are that humble. They want their own planes and things."

"No, writers don't make as much as rock stars unless you're in the top
five best seller's list. Or get groupies," he admitted. She
laughed. "Really. Otherwise I might have some."

She patted him on the arm. "You're cute but much too young for
me." He winked back and she walked off giggling. "Need something
to read?"

"Please? Graphic novel or good fantasy book?" She pointed
at the section, letting him denude it for the trip. He paid and got
something for the ride to eat and drink, then went to wait. It wasn't
too long. He did get something done.

***

Jack looked at the people he gathered. "I just had another Harris
run in. Apparently someone named Willow sent him to another realm
where we're not quite the same. We sent ourselves letters."

"What are we doing instead?" Daniel asked.

"You're running a federal agency that investigates demon crimes."
He handed over his very thick letter. Then the second one.
He handed out the others, keeping his own. "I was told by the Carter
there that we need to know some of the non-personal stuff in McKay's letter
to help Atlantis."

Carter looked at him. "Maybe we should open it first?"

"Let him email back everything that's not personal. I don't
want to know what he told himself about girlfriends or anything.
Since I saw the one there with his arm around a woman's shoulders, I'm
guessing he has one."

"He was touching a woman?" she asked. "In public?"

"Yeah. Pigtails, goth clothes.... He looked amused too."

She shuddered. "That poor woman!" She opened hers.
It had a lot of information on things that she didn't want to think about.
"She told me how to prove magic was real and in the theoretical ranges
of string physics. What's a slayer?" She looked up.

Daniel looked at his. "I included what they found there about
the Ori, Ancients and their demon connections from the Atlantis database,
and a few other things. Then I get a personal letter." He read
it, snickering. "It starts out with 'if you're near Xander and he's
dating, beware of the noise." It went over what had happened.
"They got me right after Cam got here. When they took Vala we went
on hiatus. The president reassigned me then to run the agency of
cowboy agents and insane people who helped save the world even more often
than we did. Interesting." He kept reading.

Cam read his and snorted. "Mine says that the me there thinks
you're insane for still being there but it's nice that they put us under
you instead of the IOA."

"Mine mentions that. It's not addictive and it works well enough
to cover up broken ribs," Daniel said. "When are we doing the mail
run to Atlantis?"

"Tomorrow is when we send information packets over," Jack said.
"Midway can send these through." They all nodded at that. It'd
take too long by ship. It might be important to save someone's life
up there.

***

John walked down to take the bag. "Mail?"

"Yes, sir, from a cross-dimensional trip. I was told to tell you
that the people there wrote those to you, they're a bit ahead temporally.
Also to tell Dr. McKay to send back any non-personal information in his
since they think it has information on ZPMs and things." He went
back through the stargate and shut it down.

John nodded, walking off to pass those out. Everyone was always
happy on mail day. "McKay, cross dimensional mail." Rodney's
head popped up from behind a machine. "The you there wrote this.
It has personal and scientific information. The main base said to
share anything science related so they didn't have to see the personal
stuff. Radek, you have one too." He handed the rest of
the thick stack out, keeping his for last. He settled in his office
to read the thick letter. It was amusing and amazing, but it did
give him some information they needed.

McKay came stomping in. "This is insane!"

"Why? Is the you there dating?"

"Yes! Some goth lab goddess!" John just smirked. "Radek's
agreed!"

"So look her up, see if you're good together in this world." He
shrugged. "I'm sure she's worthy of you if the you there is anything
like the last version of you we saw."

"Well, of course she would be," he admitted. "But still, a *goth*
girl?"

"So?" He shrugged. "Are you unhappy for him?"

"No. The letter said she even gave up sleeping in a coffin
to be with me." He sniffed. "I'm quite strange there.
We deal with demons much more often."

"I'm learning that." He smirked. "I did get some information
we can use."

"I got how they're doing ZPM's." John sat up, staring at him.
"But it's based in magic being able to open a spot of void."

"I want to know it before you send it." McKay handed it over.
"I'll skip over the personal stuff."

"I doubt I'll track her down on this world."

"You might see if she's single. You two might work well together."

"I don't think so. He respected her because of all the work she
did in their world in their agency. Here she might still be at NCIS."

"So? She's still her. She's probably just as smart and plucky."

"Maybe." He took the letter back. "Let me send this to the
main base." He walked off to think and email that back there.

John smirked. His letter had something on Abby and Rodney too.
It sounded nearly diabetic to watch but it might be good for him.

***

Xander walked into the hotel in Las Vegas, smiling at the woman pacing.
"It didn't take the bus that long," he complained.

Paula spun to look at him. "Where were you for the last two weeks?"

"It was only a week there. Huh." He smirked. "I had
a trip thanks to Willow."

"Oh crap."

"She still with the priests?"

"They got her straightened out and brought her husband in to help them.
They're much stronger and he said to say thank you for helping her instead
of taking her out." She moved closer. "You're all right?"

"My counterpart had a good hand with cooking. The base was wonderful
too."

"Base?"

He nodded, smirking at her. "Room?"

"Room? Oh, yeah." She handed him the keys. They went
up there and he carefully dropped the bags. "What the hell happened?"
she demanded.

"Willow sent me to another version of me in another dimension."

"Oh, god," she moaned, sitting down.

"It's cool and I have a *huge* idea." She gave him a hopeful look.
"It was kinda cool. They were on a base. They investigated
demon crimes." She smirked at that. "They had the *whole* base,
plus science department, plus jail. Weapons cases. Everything
I could drool over. I have to change descriptions to protect the
versions here."

She wiped her mouth to make sure she wasn't drooling. "Can you
do that?"

"Yeah. I might need some help with the agency stuff."

"I'm sure we can get you some." She stood up. "You're okay?"

"He took me to a small amusement park. I got to talk to a bunch
of the slayers, who all cooed at me and hit on me. I met some hunters
and they liked my version. If I had appeared at home I would've given
them my promo copies."

"Tara said something about doing that." She shook her head.
"I didn't understand what she said. She did say that she's fine now."
Xander smiled at that. "She wants you back soon."

"As soon as you don't need me here. I called but it was busy for
two hours."

She smiled. "She's found a new friend."

"Cool. Is she nice?"

"Very."

Xander called, sitting down at the desk. "I tried to call earlier."
She squealed in his ear. "I'm okay. She sent me to another
dimension's version of me." He beamed. "Yup, it was cool.
I'm okay. Are you okay?" She babbled at him and he smiled.
"Of course you're allowed to have your girlfriend over. I'm not that
sort of guy, Tara. If you two want me to, I'll hide or go write on
the front stairs or something. You know that. Nothing's....
you don't have memories from back in LA to the new city...." He sighed.
"She can't undo it?"
He listened. Then he sighed. "What does she need to undo
it? Because you know I'll do what I can."

He listened. "We have that, Tara. Tara, hellmouth," he pointed
out dryly. "They grow there by the beach." He rolled
his eyes. "I'll call LA. They can kiss my ass. It was
necessary. She... I'm not going to argue, Tara. It's not worth
it to argue about Willow." He smiled. "True. Okay, I
can do that. What else?" He listened. "You had some of
that in your case. Ask the CSI guys if you can have it back?"
He nodded. "Okay. Did they open the weapons? I thought
so. Thanks."

He hung up and called LA. "Wesley, me. Don't even start.
Really? You mean like the blood smear on the wall from her?"
He smirked. "Exactly. Because she was stalking her, Wesley.
If this was a normal stalking I would've helped her get a restraining order.
Especially since she messed with everyone's memories." He smirked
at the wall. "Exactly and I'm not going to let *anyone* hurt Tara.
She's been hurt enough by all that shit." He nodded.

"Exactly. No, to undo the spell, we need Mohra demon blood and
a few of the crystals that grow in the caves by the beach. Yeah,
the blue/green ones. They said they needed a fully ripened and loaded
one. I can go back and get one," he offered dryly. "Thank you.
Yeah, I'm back. No, she sent me to another realm." He looked
at the letter in front of him.

"Actually, I have one from the her there to the her here. The
one there was in jail for magic abuse." Wesley shuddered. "Yeah,
so I'm in Las Vegas for a bit. Paula said so. Agent, Wesley.
You knew this last week." Wesley muttered and checked himself.
Then he started to swear. "Yup. Want the letter? Please
do." He hung up. Wesley appeared a few minutes later.
"Willow grammed?"

"Yes." He took the letter to look at. "This is sad."

"When did she get you guys?"

"Afterward. She admitted it. She said they allowed it."

"No they wouldn't. Which means they're going to hunt her down
probably. They are associated with the roaming hunters," he said
at Wesley's glare. "Technically, I just wanted the priest in New
York that dealt with that stuff, not one of them specifically."

"No, it was a good call. She needed their help. She still
does. Daniel is helping her though. I'll let him know."
He looked him over. "Are you all right?"

"Not bad. The me in that other dimension is a federal agent in
the agency that handles demon crimes."

"Interesting." He looked up. "I'm ready." She brought
him back. He walked her over to Daniel. "She has other memory
spells to cure."

"They know roaming hunters, Daniel." Willow moaned. He held
up the letter. "From the you in the realm that you sent Xander to."
She gave him a horrified look. He read it, nodding at what it contained.
"The you there was so bad, you played with Xander so hard it nearly destroyed
him and the world." He looked at her. "You're in jail for nearly
killing the slayers by calling a very high demon."

"I can't be." She took it to read, choking up on what it said.
"No!"

"You have to reform yourself, Willow," Daniel said quietly. "We
don't have a jail here. All we have here is a burning pile of wood
and a hunter." She started to cry. He wanted to hold her but
she was at fault. He patted her on the back. "Remove all the
spells." She muttered and let it go, crushing something in her hand.
He gave her a hug. "You'll reform so when they check on you they
know that. It's for emergencies and apocalypses."

"It is," she agreed, looking at him. "I'm sorry."

"We'll heal and move on from here. I'll help. Even if I
do have to divert your attention," he said, making her blush. He
kissed her on the cheek. "Now, make sure the spells are all off everyone,
Willow. All but Angel's." She nodded, taking him with
her.

Wesley smiled at the watching Angel and Gunn. "It seems it was
a good trip in more ways than one."

"Hopefully," Gunn agreed. "I'm not getting between her and a hunter."

"Me either but we can tell them that she's given it up," Angel decided.
"As long as she has." He walked off to make that known. She
had finally been broken. Even though she couldn't sit from the last
one it had been this that had forced her to finally see it.

***

Xander looked at the man who was there to talk to him. "Graham,
I'm going to piss you guys off."

"Why?" he complained, sitting down. They were back in New York
and Xander had picked a nice place for lunch. "Will I need antacids?"

"I got a good idea when Willow sent me away from saving Tara."

"I heard."

"They finally got through to her," he admitted. "But while visiting
with the other me there....."

"And their world didn't end?"

"They had nine of us or so there for a major apocalypse."

"That poor world." He moaned, shaking his head.

"They also had all the slayers activated," he said quietly. "Because
the First Evil destroyed the Council and they had to so she was defeated."
He handed over something. "From Faith in that world, who was out
and being the big sister to all them. On the apocalypses they've
seen. Make sure Angel gets that."

"Of course." He looked at it then at him. "What else happened?"

"DCIS."

"Defense Contractors Investigative Services? Or whatever that
is?"

"Demon Criminal Investigative Services."

Graham stared at him. "Um...." Xander held up a key drive.
"What's this?"

"Their first case that I got given."

"Am I there?"

"Nope. Homeland. All you guys are in Homeland."

"I'd hate that." He took the key drive and smiled at the waitress
handing him a plate. "Thank you." She handed Xander his and
walked off with a wink for Xander. "Thanks for ordering, Harris."

"Welcome." He smiled. "Nowhere near you guys' things.
Though I did see the guys from the cabin there."

"I don't want to know because that'll get me sanctioned," he said bluntly.

"That's fine. I carried letters from the them there to the
ones here."

"That's good of you."

"They were ahead."

"Oh." He nodded, opening the note to read it over. "Oh,
crap," he said. "LA?"

"Might be able to be stopped, no clue," he admitted. He shrugged.
"Let me know."

"I will." He dug into his salad. It was calming on his stomach.
"Before you print anything...."

"I'm only halfway through."

"Thank you, Harris. And for the warning." He finished up
and put down for the tip, heading back to the office to tell his boss that.
He ran the case file on the way. That dimension must be so screwed
up. Xander Harris as a federal agent? They were doomed!
His boss looked up when he got back there a few hours later. "We
have foretelling of doom, in multiple keys, and Harris got sent by Rosenburg
to another realm where he's an agent." His boss took a swig of Pepto.
He let him see the case file. "His new book is being based there."

His boss read through it. "I feel sorry for their world that they
need this." He looked up. "He's warning us?"

"Yup."

"Thank you." He looked at the note. "That's... really bad."

"They have *all* the potential slayers activated."

"Oh, hell!" he said, looking at him.

"We're in Homeland though." He smirked.

"I'd kill you all," he promised. "Put you out of your misery."
Graham laughed. "All right. We need to work on this Black Thorn
group now."

"He wanted to make sure we shared with Summers and them."

"Do so." Graham ran off a copy. "This file?"

"Fair warning in his case. He's halfway done."

"I feel very sorry for their world."

"He did say some of the guys at the cabin thing were there. He's
probably going to change identities."

"Good!" He stared at him. "Well, it can't be any worse.
With his hunting series it might be very popular."

"It could be," Graham agreed. "It doesn't really touch on ours."

"Even better. I won't stop him making a living with this.
If it touches on us or the current teams and he can be roasted."

"Yes, sir." He saluted and left to send those notes to Wesley
in LA.

His boss had some more pepto before telling the others who would need
to know. Their world was so screwed up. He hoped they didn't
run here when Harris destroyed their world.

***

Xander bounced into the mall, finding the young woman he needed. His
spies, namely Paula, had said she'd be here today shopping for a new book
opening party. He found her and her grandmother. "Alexis."

"Xander," she said, smiling at him. "Is Paula being mean and making
you shop?" she asked.

"Not quite. I'm looking for you."

"Who are you, young man?" the older woman asked.

He grinned. "Hi, Alexian Harris. Your son helps me some
and I want to hire your daughter to help me with the newest series."

"I can't proofread."

"I have one of those I pay. I need someone to look over the 'agency'
and that sort of thing. I know *nothing* about corporate structure
inside the government. Or outside the government really."

She considered it. "You're crossing into Dad's area?" He
held up a key drive. "What sort of paycheck are we talking?"

"Shopping trip for each book? Say.... a grand?"

"Five," she countered with a smirk. "I can do that much shoe shopping."

"Buffy could too. Two and you get credit?"

"I could stand two." Her father walked over. "Dad, he's
bribing me to help him with a new book."

"For?" he asked with a smirk. "Bribery already?"

"It's an agency."

"You're doing something like Clancy?"

"Not quite." He beamed. "It's explained in there so you
could look over her shoulder if you want. Do you think two grand
of shopping is good?"

"I think she'll run you ragged, kid." He took the keydrive.
"Let me help her look it over tonight and I'll let her decide."

"Thanks." He hugged all three and bounced off to have some pretzels.

"Eat something to soak up that sugar," he called after him, making his
mother laugh. He looked at his daughter. "I'll help."

"Thanks, Dad. I could use the shopping trip."

"I know you could." He patted her on the back, putting the drive
into his pocket. He had no idea what the kid was going for this time
but he had nearly looked unholy in his glee. That was probably a
bad sign. That or his daughter might go evil by taking the kid shopping.
She might get more clothes that gave boys *ideas*.

***

Castle walked up to Xander the next day, staring at him. "Where
did you get that screwed up idea?"

"That's where Willow sent me." He beamed. "I was very fun."

"You mean you...."

"Yup." He beamed.

"Was I there?"

"Not on the base and I didn't have the time to go book shopping to see.
Sorry."

"No, that's good!" he assured him, sitting down at the table.
"I like that thought better. Before my brain explodes. You
made Alexis have her first character crush."

"Cool! Which one?"

"One of the lead former detectives."

"Andre, the nice playboy from the other federal agency, or Dante, the
former one from up here?"

"Dante, and he sounded familiar." Xander looked at him.
"You need to tweak those more, kid."

"I'm putting a disclaimer in the front that I do sometimes base physical
characteristics on people but they are not really meant to be them."

"You still need to tweak them more. Eye color, hair color."

"In his case, I've used his blue eyed icy stare a few times."

"I noticed that. Lighten his hair. A lot. Make him
a redhead."

"I might be able to do that. I'll probably give Donnie a list
of characteristics for each so he can make sure. Does this mean I
owe you a shopping trip too?"

"No, I'll let you take Alexis and my mother."

"Will she be giving me that scowling look again?"

"Probably not. She knows I think you're like a mentoree, kid."
He leaned back, looking at him. "Change some height and dressing
styles too. I recognized a few others from working over the last
few years."

"Does that mean I should tone down the love interests?"

"No, I saw that file. Let the lead guy, Andre, have all the loud
ones. He'd probably appreciate it." A man in a dark brown suit
and a white shirt walked over. "Let me guess, Homeland?" he asked.

"Close. NSA. Mr. Harris, may I make a request?"

"Depends on what it is," he said calmly. "Because we all know
I'm not that fond of some people's ideas."

"Nothing like that, sir. I was sent to ask you to please quit
giving people headaches."

"Who did he give one to?" Castle asked.

"Graham Miller."

"I haven't seen him in weeks," Xander said dryly. "How did I give
him a headache this time?"

"We had someone checking on your newest story to make sure that it wasn't
going to infringe on anything classified. By the way, I would change
that director a bit more, sir."

"I've already been told that about the others," he sighed. "You
hacked my computer to read the new book? Are you guys *really* that
bored?"

"No, sir, not your computer."

Castle glared at him. "You have mine bugged?"

"You do have contacts that could become compromising."

"Not like I use them that way." He sipped his coffee. "Other
than the descriptions, did you guys like the new book?"

"I found it quite amusing. How did you come by this idea, sir?"
he asked Xander.

"Rosenburg."

"Oh. When you were missing/supposedly at the vacation cabin?"
Xander nodded. "That's fine then, sir. Just change those so
they won't recognize themselves. Even with that warning in front.
Thank you and we'll wait to read the rest when it comes out." He
left.

"The nerve of them," Castle complained.

Xander patted him on the arm. "I probably know more highly classified
people than you do."

"Probably," he admitted. He smirked at him. "I think that
was a good review though. It was so good it gave a spook a headache
from thinking we might have to do that?"

Xander beamed. "I could like that one. I'll change those
later and make sure Donnie has a character list."

"That might be handy, kid. This is looking good." Xander
beamed. "Maybe you'll even get those groupies this time."

"I do need to find a new one to date." He sipped his soda while
his mentor laughed. "Do you think Paula's going to be happy with
it?"

"I think so. I like it so far." He smirked at him.
"Ask her for more help whenever you want, kid." He stood up.
"She's a teenage girl, she likes to shop," he warned.

Xander smirked. "I know. I was surrounded by them for the
longest time. That's why I don't shop." Castle walked off giggling
at that. Xander finished his soda and went home to work on those
problems then finish that story. Donnie would freak out. He
hadn't gotten anything in months.

***

Xander looked in Paula's office. "You're going to hate me."

"Why am I going to hate you, Xander?" she asked, looking up from the
book she was working on. "Did you quit writing again?
Are you getting sued? Are you parents back?"

"No to all three of those. Donnie is cursing me."

"Why?"

"He said he's got another overloading author."

"So you have something new?"

"Yes. It even gave some agents headaches when they hacked Castle's
home computer and read the first few chapters I had him looking at for
government stuff."

"Why?" she asked.

"Remember what I told you in Vegas?"

"You got one done?"

"Three." He beamed and handed it over with a paper on top.
"I got advised that I was too close to their real lives here. I had
to change things so I made a list for easier catching of mistakes in things
like hair and eye color."

She blinked at the thick books then at him. "Is that a case of
paper?"

"Kinda almost?" he guessed. "But Donnie said he's really busy
with a first time author who's needing more hand-holding than I did."
He shrugged. "So you get the first look again."

"Thanks. I think." She flipped past the disclaimer and 'thanks'
statement on the first page. "We start with an assassination?"
She looked up and he nodded. "Quit biting your lip, you'll scar and
evil girls will want to kiss it and make it better."

"I could use a new evil girl. Merry, are you single?" he called.

"No, Mr. Harris, I'm not single. Sorry. I have to kill my
boyfriend tonight," she called. "After I bury him in the park I might
take you up on it though."

"Cool. I need a new girlfriend." He beamed at his agent.

"Don't make me hire again," she muttered, shaking her head and getting
back into the story. It was engrossing. "You know I don't usually
fully read things, right?" she asked, looking up. Great, he was gone.
"Did he do his impersonation of Batman again?" she called to her assistant.

"He said if this went really popular, you'd make him shop some more
so he's hiding from you," Merry called. "He said that you fully reading
it meant he'd have to shop again."

"Uh-huh." She went back to it, ignoring the other book she needed
to finish proofreading. She finally had to put it aside, she had
a meeting with her boss. She carried in the first one to go over
again. She was falling behind. Her boss finally got done with
his last one and came out to find her working. "Sir," she said, looking
up at him with a smile.

"Is that one any good?"

"Mostly good. It could use some more editing for finesse."
She stood up to follow him into the office. "She's already established
with us but she was having relationship troubles when she wrote this one.
The heroine keeps wanting to grab a bat to deal with her new ex."

"That's fine. What about the Harris account? We haven't
gotten anything new from him?"

"He just dropped three off earlier, sir, and the first one was so engrossing
I forgot I needed to do some finer point editing on this one." She
put it aside. "We also have a few years worth from him already."

"Is it all publishable?"

"Yes, sir. His editor usually gets it before it's submitted so
he can tell him if it's reasonable and saleable."

"Interesting. Does that cost him a lot?"

"He keeps one on contract. I got these new ones first because
he's hand-holding a new writer according to Mr. Harris."

"Wonderful. Will the others be as highly rated as his were?
I know fantasy authors hardly ever make the top ten."

"His hunting series' first one made it to twenty. He'd only had
three books out before then and only two were from us. The others
went to a small company. That was before we signed him."

"I looked over that. It was unusual for another agent to come
to us but I can see why he did since all he had access to were smaller
companies." He looked at her. "How good are the newest ones?"

"I don't read fantasy and I was eighty pages in before I realized I
was reading it instead of proofreading it."

"Huh. So, if we give him time he'll be up there with Castle?"

"The hunting series, yes. The other series, again they're fantasy
and not going to get that high up."

"I can agree with that. He does make us a profit."

"Sir, he makes us a tremendous profit and a few of the fantasy and science
fiction authors have checked into us taking them when they need new contracts,"
she told him. "They like how he's treated and how we helped him when he
was unsure of things."

"Good. That's very good. Business is slowing down as you
know."

"I do know that, sir, and his books are suitable for e-books.
We do release them at the same time."

"Good." He considered her. "Do you have too much work to
do?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "Why do you think I do?"

"Harris is prolific and even with an editor you have to hand hold him."

"Not really, sir."

"You sent him to a personal shopper?"

"He wears *horrible* print shirts and he showed up to an interview with
one on and jeans." He grimaced at that. "They were nicely clean,
pressed, all that, but he went for comfort. I arranged for a personal
shopper and his former girlfriend to bully him into Tommy Bahama and a
good suit."

He smiled. "Still some ugly shirts."

"She didn't let him get those. Professional shorts, camp shirts,
a few with prints but none of the loud ones. One good suit for things
like award dinners. He paid for that. All we paid for was her
airfare out of the slush fund for makeovers."

"Excellent." He considered it. "What if I brought in a new
agent and moved two of your nineteen clients to them?"

"Which ones?"

"Would Harris move?"

"No. He likes me enough to nag about my blood pressure."

"Interesting."

"I yelled at him for it and he got blocked."

"Very interesting. Going after another author?"

"No, sir, because he dates evil girls. Killers, psychos, that
sort." He grimaced. "We don't know what draws them but the
homicide department locally knows to check on who he's dating. They
have the file from his dates in LA. Speaking of, I'm hoping my assistant
was just joking when she said she'd go out with him after she killed and
buried her present boyfriend."

"I'd hope so. It did save the company having you take six weeks
to hire the last one though."

"Is that an issue? Mr. Harris has a new hunting series book coming
out and I'm setting up appearances and promotion for him."

"No, it's not an issue more than usual," he assured her with a smile.
"I have a trainee agent that's being moved up from the assistants."

"I have Hervette and Kinsey or Palompona that I can duet with him to
make sure that there's not any problems before he takes them over."

"That's not a bad idea. Three is a good start until he can sign
others of his own." She smiled at that. "Are they mass producing?"

"Kinsey is more historical mysteries. Hervette is political.
Palompona is comedy and wants to be the next Dennis Miller."

"Okay, that sounds like they're good sellers?"

"Mostly middle of the road for their categories. They also do
write in other genres under other names to make extra money. Mostly
in romances. That would give him a good stack to start with and learn
how to deal with the multi-group things that happen due to the dual names."

"Good. Does Harris?"

"Sir, he put out seven saleable books in the last year," she told him.
"Please don't. He has to have someone to remind him to eat because
he's one of those muse-driven writers."

"Ah, one of those," he sighed. "I have met others. It's
tragic when they're stuck."

"He was angry when he got stuck last time. Fourteen trees chopped
for firewood, two cabins fixed up, all with a broken rib, and then Tara
got him to write the anger into a new hunting novel."

He smiled. "Is it any good?"

"Fairly dark in content but people are going to eat it up. It
has under-themes of people being addicted to their skills and the ones
addicted to the thrill of the hunt. It's like a very dark PSA in
some ways but it's got a good story above it."

"Excellent. Castle's?"

"He's submitted, it's in editing. I do not edit his myself due
to our past relationship."

"That's responsible of you," he promised. "I'll set up a meeting
between us and the new agent tomorrow?"

"I have a signing with Hervette tomorrow afternoon," she admitted.

"Then we'll do it in the morning. Say ten?" She checked
her phone, shaking her head. "Meeting?"

"Publishing staff's schedule of output meeting all morning, sir.
The next day is free until two, then I have meeting with the editors on
the newest Castle book and two others." She looked at him.

"That'll work for me," he said after checking his own. "I'll get
him up here. You bring up their backlog and their files." She
smiled and nodded. "Let me know how good his is."

"I can get you the first one if you want, sir." He shrugged so
she went to get it, letting him read the first few pages.

He looked up thirty minutes later then looked at the page count.
"You're right, he can suck you in." He handed it back with a cleared
throat. "Are his other ones that good?"

"The hunting series, the half elf one, and the this one. The others
are normal, entertaining books."

"That's very good for us. Encourage him in those series."

"I have. The one outside contract he has is for a limited, already
completed series. The other one I haven't seen a new one on but there's
four left in it to go."

"Wonderful. How many did he give you of this one?"

"Three books."

"How long is he writing each day?"

"It depends on the day. Some days he has hundred page days, some
days he sits and watches daytime tv with his roommate's cat."

"Is he sane?"

"Most of the time. Now and then he has too much sugar and scares
the crap out of people."

He burst out laughing. "That's a good warning. Let
me know when those start going out."

"I'm thinking this first one, maybe Christmas."

"That's a good time for book sales." He smiled. "You look
tired. Take the rest of the afternoon off, Paula."

"Thank you, sir." She picked up both manuscripts and went back
to her office. She'd take them home and read them on the couch instead
of in the office. "Merry, I'm taking the afternoon off on orders.
I'll be at home soon." She grabbed one last thing and left, putting
the books into her carry bag. Maybe she'd treat herself to some wine
at the same time. She deserved it to get through the dryer book.
Xander's would be a treat later.