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This blog is now all about my personal life, including updates concerning Jerry's health. For quilt and pattern related posts please visit HillbillyQuiltShop.blogspot.com

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Our New Normal

There is a new television show called "The New Normal" or something along those lines. I don't watch a lot of tv, but I've heard it advertised somewhere along the way during Jerry's football shows or something. I don't think I'd like the show, but I was thinking just now of our new normal. Certain things have become everyday life to us that would cause most to have phone in hand and dialing 911.

Particularly strokes. We have no idea how many small mini strokes Jerry has had. But we do know when he's had medium size ones. Are there such a thing as medium size strokes? I don't know...but to us..they are our new normal. Like the last couple of days, Jerry has acted a bit strange, and then, just like always when he has a stroke, he fell asleep and was WAY out of it. Hard to wake up out of it. This is not his new normal because steroids keep him from sleeping. So I knew he'd had another. Tonight I casually asked him if he'd lost more use of his arm--just part of our new normal conversation. Before bed a bit ago, Jerry stated, "You know, I feel weird. I think I had another stroke". To which I replied, "Yes, you did. Yesterday. That's why I asked you about your arm". Just a conversation in our living room before bed--our new normal.

Jerry tried to go to work for 1/2 a day last week and won't be going back until he visits the doc on Tuesday. He's using so much insulin(due to steroids) that he ran out and when we went to get more tonight the pharmacy refused. We are going to have to call the doc about that tomorrow because his blood sugar was so high it was off the meter tonight. Ya, I'm worried. He's been very diligent with it; even though it is very frustrating to keep it down with the steroids hiking it up. On a good note, it looks like the internal bleeding has stopped. He might possibly get to go on blood thinners this week!!!!

How is Jerry? He tries to do some normal things, but wears out so easily. He insisted on fixing Thanksgiving dinner, bless his heart. He's always done that and this year was not going to be different. Oh, and last weekend his mother and aunt and uncle came to town. It was a wonderful visit. I really enjoyed them, and Stephen got to see his grandmother. One more Jerry note--he has trouble typing now with his left hand and can no longer play guitar..at least for now. In time, all in time.

How am I? Oh a world of emotions. Elated to have the bleeding stop so that we can maybe get the strokes under control. Worried because I see these strokes happening. Weary because I work so many late night hours. Guilt ridden because I have so many friends I've dropped the ball on and so many people I really need to thank, and blogs that I really need to write (ahhhhs) and read. Saddened when people stop communicating, because our new normal..has just become.... normal. You know what I mean by that? Yet I am so thankful for those of you that haven't given up on me, you check in on me, some of you have gifted us Walmart cards (which we save for meds) and you understand that every spare computer moment I have is usually spent in that crazy fun Ozark Fabric shop. I have something fun going on behind the scenes with ahhhs but I am frustrated that I cannot get the time to get the ball rolling on my end. And sometimes, I just wanna be a girl and cry. Through it all, I am ever thankful for my faith in Christ. How one ever lives without Him, I'll never know.

How is Seth? Fifteen years old now! Mercy.

How is Stephen? He taken to not allowing anyone near him but me. Not even his Sissy who he usually adores. She tried to have him spend the night with her last night and spend the day with her today, but he just cried and cried for me. So, I had to go back and get him and never got a lick of work done. He seems mommy needy right now, so he gets lots of attention. I actually am attempting to get a teenage girl to watch him for a few hours a week. I really really need a break. Not sure how that is going to work, and I don't like spending the money on it; but I just am too tired to continue as I am doing, something has got to change. I just hope the stress of a sitter won't be too hard on Stephen.

So, there you have it. Our new normal. When "oh you had another stroke" is our evening conversation.
But I have my husband still with us, so I am counting my blessings!

29 comments:

huge *hugs* Tonya. Please don't worry about reading or catching up. Your friends will be sitting waiting for news because we love you and understand your first priority is with Jerry.Glad to hear the bleeding has stopped. Fingers crossed everything else can be sorted now. love and hugsxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooo

Oh I sure hope I didn't make you feel pressured for an update. I just wanted to know how you were. I really really really hope this doesn't stay your normal Tonya. I hope the doctors are able to get everything under control and though I know you'll probably need to be more diligent with his healthcare, I'm hoping your husband's strokes stop and that his blood sugars become within normal range. (((((HUGS)))))) I re-requested your fabric group. I can't buy, but I want to keep in touch and I know you spend your time there when you have the time to spend. xxshannon

As Pat said, don't go worrying about your blog friends. We will still be here when you need to talk. Thank you for letting us know how Jerry is going. Hopefully, things will get better day by day. Sending you hugs, Christine xxPS. If you want to cry, then go ahead. Sometimes that may just be what you need. xx

Hey go ahead and be a girl... cry. It does wonders ( I know from experience) and don't worry about not being in contact, we will all be here when you get back to the real normal. Hugs and prayers still coming your way.P.S I still have two AHHH's to catch up on so...

Gosh Tonya, I just feel exhausted reading about your day. I so hope this is the turning point for Jerry, and he is now on the road to improvement and life gets easier for you all. Please don't worry about the blog and other people I have said it before, your family are the only ones you need to worry about right now. As for the crying, go and do it, have a good sob, it will relieve the tension and you will feel better. Give Stephen a hug from his friend in France and tell him I miss his little adventures. Hugs xxxx

So what's wrong with being a girl and having a good cry sometimes? It might actually help you to feel a bit better. As for the blog and keeping in touch, I think you've got plenty on your plate at the moment, and we'll all be here when you have time to give us an update or visit us.

It sounds as though maybe Jerry's problems are coming under control and hopefully the improvement will continue, fast, so you can move on from the new normal, back to the old normal.

I'm "glad" that the bleeding has stopped, sad about the other strokes, we continue to pray for you. Don't overwork yourself, you'll end up crashing some time soon. wish I could come and hug you and help in whatever way I can

Oh girl! Someday this will all be a weird memory, and you will be back to a real normal. Just keep that in mind and keep on being strong. Cry when you have that moment alone and get it all out. You need to let it all go once in a while. HUGS!!

God holds every tear in a bottle, so go ahead. They won't be for naught. We are so thankful for you Tonya. You are a witness to devotion and being a Godly wife. You are the Proverbs 31 woman in a nutshell.

Those of us who are still with you, will not desert you. We are all here for you, no matter how quiet you get, no matter how wacky your normal becomes.

Hopefully the doc can do something for Jerry on Tuesday. His problems must be controlled!!

If I have learned one thing in the last three months here at my house, it is that I do not have to be everything for everyone and I am no longer going to try to be. The really important things get done, the rest will have to wait. In other words, I have learned to say no and there is nothing wrong with that. Prioritize and if something comes up that will not matter one little bit in a week, forget about it. I will continue to lift you and your family up to the Lord.

When my husband was sick, they put him on steroids too, but that actually made him sicker and he got better when I took him off of them. Think about it, then you can get his sugar under control too. Doctors are too fast to prescribe steroids when usually you don't really need them at all.

Dear Tonya, keep in mind that you are loved and not forgotten, even when it "feels" like it. I'm praying for rest and peace of mind for you, even amidst this time of trouble. I'm with you, how does anyone deal with the deep waters of life without the Lord? I do hope this "normal" goes away!:-}pokey

Tonya, I check my Google reader every day just to see if you have posted, and fearful of what I may find if you did post. I have not written to you in a week or so, because I don't want to bother you, but your family is still in our prayers. I am very glad you had a nice family Thanksgiving and I am hopeful Jerry's strokes will stop. Hugs to you.

Hey girl! No reply is needed, as usual...just stopping by to lend my voice to the others - as they have said, we will be here when you get to another normal. We're checking each day to see if you post, but that is because we love you, not because we want to pressure you. Write when you can, for at those times we can pray for specific needs, and lift you up to the Lord. And yes, crying does help, so go right ahead. Sometimes I even take a pillow and punch the living daylights out of it, and then cry some more. I'm so hopeful that once they can get the sugar under control, then with the bleeding stopped he can take the thinners...maybe strokes will become a memory instead of a routine occurrence. Love you so much, girl -- praying for you daily. Take care.

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I am owner of HillbillyQuiltShop.com and designer of the infamous Artistic Hexotic Hectic Hillbilly Hexagons. I can most frequently be seen in my fabric group on facebook called Ozark Fabric.I am working on a book but have found it takes a lot of time in between all the other responsibilities of life!