HOHMAN, INDIANA- In a tragic turn of events, an elementary school student is spending his Christmas in the hospital. The child, whose name has not been released to the press, was rushed to Hohman County Hospital early Christmas morning.

Wishing to remain anonymous, his mother released a statement to news organizations explaining the circumstances of her son's injury. "He had just received an official Red Rider carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time. He ran outside to test it out and I told him to be careful.

"After a few minutes of letting my young son play unsupervised with a weapon that I believed could cause him serious injury, I didn't hear him outside. I left the turkey and looked outside to see if he was all right. But he was just laying in the snow.

"At first I thought maybe he had been hit with a falling icicle because those things are known to kill. Yet when I looked at him closely, I saw no evidence of an icicle. Just him holding his BB gun. And then I knew."

The hospital is reporting that the student will make a recovery, and that there is a good chance that he will see in his right eye again.

A stunned father spoke to reporters outside his son's ER room. "I had one when I was eight years old," he said, grief-stricken. "I never thought this would happen. A kid with one eye... that could make his life at Warren G. Harding Elementary School a veritable hell.

"I'm so ashamed."

Waking briefly from a drug-induced coma, the student remarked that it was "the worst Christmas present he has ever received, and would ever receive." He then drifted off to sleep, pinging ducks on the wing and getting off spectacular hip shots in his dreams.

Sorry this boy suffered such an injury before he could learn how to correctly use his BB gun. If there's a failing here, it's that kids do need some training and supervision until they understand just what such a weapon can do. Eye protection in the form of cool shooting glasses is a good way to reduce the risk to the most vulnerable part of the body.

I had a BB gun from a young age and put untold BBs through it before moving on to my first real firearm at 12. My parents didn't know real fear, however, until they gave me a chemistry set and I learned how to make explosives in my bedroom. Not that the chemistry set included such experiments, but it opened a door and stimulated curiosity. Then there were those experiments with an electrical force field, ball lightning generator, poison gas, acid and various less than lethal toys. Scientists don't go mad, they start out that way and move toward sanity with age. Luckily that process happened for me before I injured anyone and while I still had all my body parts and my family still had a house.

(AP) Attorneys for the family announced their intention to sue the reckless firearms industry, Daisy Industries, and the department store chain who sold what they referred to as "this instrument of death" and called for the immediate banning of the sale of all assault weapons.

A spokesman for Handgun Control, Inc. said "Haven't we seen enough death and destruction without indoctrinating our children into unrestrained violence? It's time we broke this endless cycle of shame."

Senator Charles Schumer, speaking from his estate in upstate New York, condemned this as an "annual wave of Christmas morning violence" and vowed to introduce legislation on Monday morning to completely outlaw the use of all firearms. Claiming "This is no time for half measures", he promised in a New York Times editorial that his bill will include a first-ever ban on the use of all weapons of destruction by America's military. Troops will be required to undergo psychiatric treatment and attend anti-violence sensitivity training.

Early polling by the New York Times met with "wild approval" for this legislation and the bill is expected to move swiftly through Congress as soon as legislative language can be crafted. Democratic insiders complained that additional time will be required because they have run out of additional spending projects to include in the new bill. Once this hurtle is overcome, President Obama is expected to sign the bill immediately upon passage.

Very one-sided reporting here. What is not mentioned in Michael's post -- causing one to wonder how purposeful was the omission -- is that the youth received ample warning of the dangers of this missile-projecting tool from hell. His teacher warned him after his mother conspired with her. Hell, even Santa prophetically proclaimed that he would "shoot his eye out." Sheesh. Next thing you know the gun-nuts will start blaming his blindness on ingesting Life Buoy soap.

Ok I fell for it. I should have realized nothing like this could happen in real life. I missed the part about being filed under humor. Hey, maybe I could tell the funny story of a family who's house burnt down on Christmas, or the one about the Mother and her kids who died in a car accident yesterday after doing their Christmas shopping. Yup, lots of humor on the news this time of year.

I love that movie. My nine year old had never watched it from the beginning so we watched a bit of it last night and will watch the rest tonight during the TBS marathon. She didn't remember the movie until we got to the leg lamp arriving in the Fragile box. The little brother in the snow suit and the boy's tongue on the flagpole had her laughing hard.

You know, it's one thing to not get a joke. It's another thing to get pissy about not getting the joke. And accusing everyone of thinking true stories of people getting killed at Christmas is funny.
Looks like someone got some coal in his stocking.

A few years ago, my wife won the full size leg lamp on a KC area radio station. She thought it was great the first year. Last year when I took it out to display it in our front window, she said, "Really, do we have to have it up again?". I said, "YES WE DO! After all, it's made in Italy!"

You know, it's one thing to not get a joke. It's another thing to get pissy about not getting the joke. And accusing everyone of thinking true stories of people getting killed at Christmas is funny.
Looks like someone got some coal in his stocking.

And it's one thing to post a joke and another thing to post a tragic story as if it were a joke. Besides, what make you think the examples I posted are not from some literature and you just didn't get the joke. Who's pissy now?

Generally this kind of hoax is done on April fools day or Halloween. I'm not sure where the humor comes from in running such a hoax, and I guess that's what you and others are point out.

Sorry, but I find nothing humorous in running a hoax story about a child suffering a tragic injury on Christmas even if it's based on a movie connected to Christmas. Given the times, imagine running a hoax story about a homeless family of four living under a bridge and having only some potatoes the father says he found for their Christmas meal. Being based on Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol" those who find the "Boy Shoots Own Eye" hoax humorous should also find that humorous.

If you support such hoax stories of tragedy on Christmas just give me a negative vote. Otherwise, speak out against it as I have done.

Mac could have gotten out of this jam real easy. All he had to do was to claim he was doing an imitation of Paul Hooson.

Which is what I thought his original comment was. Seriously. Go back and read it with that in mind, and you will see how it reads just like one of Hooson's typical miss-the-point-completely-but-here's-an-interminably-long-and-boring-personal-reminiscence-about-crap-nobody-but-me-cares-about comments. I thought it was an absolutely brilliant deadpan parody. In fact, I'm disappointed that it wasn't.

So you support such hoax stories of tragedy on Christmas. Now that's disappointing.

Oh please, Mac, lighten up. It wasn't a "hoax". Nobody was trying to fool us into thinking some tragedy had actually occurred. It was obviously a satirical news story. Michael crosslinked the post at a well-known satire site, and he even filed it here under the category of "Humor". Everybody here got the movie reference except for you (and, not surprisingly, Paul Hooson) and some even added a few of their own. My point is, there were a number of obvious clues and tip-offs that the story wasn't to be taken seriously, but you somehow managed to miss them all. So don't rail at the pitcher because you whiffed on 3 slow curve balls .

You can call it a satirical news story all you want, but knowingly posting a false story is a hoax. Labeling it humor and linking to a well-known satire site doesn't change that. Check out some of these other famous hoaxes and you'll see they used the same defenses you offer up even going so far as to tell people it wasn't real. Doesn't matter, they are still known as hoaxes. No doubt the adverse public reaction to those hoaxes was due to their scaring the heck out of people. Apparently you and others found this hoax entertaining.

Your characterization of my post with Paul Hooson's shtick misses the mark in that much of my post is self-depreciating. Guess you missed that in your rush to pile on.

Yes I missed it and admitted it back in post #9, so you added nothing by making that point again. I missed it because the concept of a hoax story about a tragic injury to a child being humorous is foreign to my thinking. Obviously, I'm in the minority.

"If you support such hoax stories of tragedy on Christmas just give me a negative vote. Otherwise, speak out against it as I have done."

Now THAT is a whole lot of drama.

I saw a movie once where a tornado dropped a house on a woman and killed her. Then some truant juvenile thief stole her ruby slippers. The audience just ate it up. I bet these same people yuk it up whenever the tv news shows stories of people killed by tornadoes.
I have been morally outraged ever since.

What about a story of a homeless family of four living under a bridge and having only some potatoes the father says he found on the street for their Christmas meal. Would you think that was funny? Guess most people posting here think it's funny when they realize it's a hoax based on Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol". Sorry, but I don't think it's funny and said so. If THAT is a whole lot of drama in your eyes then it says more about you then me.

You can call it a satirical news story all you want, but knowingly posting a false story is a hoax.

Actually, it's not. It's satire, as has been explained to you. Unlike someone who is trying to hoax you, you weren't intended to actually believe it. You were expected to get the movie reference and laugh at it. I did. Everyone else did, too, other than you and Hooson.

What about a story of a homeless family of four living under a bridge and having only some potatoes the father says he found on the street for their Christmas meal. Would you think that was funny?

If I heard that, I'd most likely think it was f'n hilarious. Then again, I've read Dickens, so I would have gotten the intended reference.

Actually, it's not. It's satire, as has been explained to you. Unlike someone who is trying to hoax you, you weren't intended to actually believe it. You were expected to get the movie reference and laugh at it. I did. Everyone else did, too, other than you and Hooson.

Actually, it is a hoax and I explained it to you and provided links to other hoaxes to back up my claim. Orson Welles expected listeners to get the reference to the book War of the Worlds, but that didn't make it satire, nor did the warnings before, during and after the broadcast. It's a hoax as is the story at the top of this thread.

If I heard that, I'd most likely think it was f'n hilarious. Then again, I've read Dickens, so I would have gotten the intended reference.

At a fireworks show some years ago an older man suffered a heart attack and as the crowd gathered around some kids started making fun of the guy by mimicking his collapse. Obviously, they weren't very compassionate and while such behavior is somewhat understandable from the young, you have to wonder about their upbringing. People finding humor in a hoax about the suffering of others reminds me of those kids. I know one of those kids, now a man, and he hangs is head in shame when that event is brought up. Maybe you'll grow up too.

Actually, it is a hoax and I explained it to you and provided links to other hoaxes to back up my claim

Here's the difference: Welles' "WoW" broadcast fooled a lot of people into thinking it was real, and Welles even admitted it was a Halloween prank comparable to ringing doorbells and running away. Here, the only one who was fooled into thinking this incident was real was you. Oh, and Hooson.

People finding humor in a hoax about the suffering of others reminds me of those kids. I know one of those kids, now a man, and he hangs is head in shame when that event is brought up. Maybe you'll grow up too.

No, we're not finding humor in the sufferings of others. That's not what we're laughing at. The satirical "news" story is not funny because some kid got shot in the eye with a BB gun. No, it's funny because it takes fictitious people and events and turns them into a fake news story. We're laughing because we KNOW it's fake.

And if you were familiar with the movie at all, you'd know that the boy never actually gets shot in the eye with a BB gun, never has to go to the hospital, and, in fact, is perfectly healthy at the end of the movie.

I think sarahconnor2 had it right; you missed the joke and got pissy about it and are now falsely accusing everyone who did get it with being heartless bastards who laugh at human suffering. What utter bullshit. So, I'm done with this. Have at it. You're going all in on stupid, and I won't stand in your way.

Wow, Mac Lorry, your comments are funnier than the original post. You need to look up the words "hoax" and "satire". By your logic, The Onion is a cruel hoaxster site passing off fake news stories as truth for jerks to laugh at.

Btw, even your analogy to A Christmas Carol is faulty. It wasn't a comedy. Like with like. Try this: "So if you read a story about a couple of guys getting their heads bitten off by a rabbit before another guy blows it up with a hand grenade, you'd think that was funny? You're sick."

What defines a hoax is its intent to deceive. You'll see that's exactly what we have at the top of this thread. The first paragraph and the first sentence of the second paragraph set up what follows as a hoax. It doesn't matter if what follows is satirical, fantasy, or science fiction, the story is a hoax. That's what we see in the 1938 Orson Welles War of the Worlds hoax, and in the 1991 government of Finland voiding the one hundred Finnish Markka hoax, and in the 1991 Kozloduy Nuclear Power Plant accident hoax. The act of representing a false story as if it were real is what makes it a hoax.

So now we have this new hoax genre in which some fictional tragic event associated with Christmas is posted as a news story on Christmas. Yes that caught me off guard, but what's really surprising is that so many think a hoax about a tragic injury to a child is Is appropriate on Christmas.

I think sarahconnor2 had it right; you missed the joke and got pissy about it and are now falsely accusing everyone who did get it with being heartless bastards who laugh at human suffering. What utter bullshit. So, I'm done with this. Have at it. You're going all in on stupid, and I won't stand in your way.

Like sarahconnor2 there's no deep thinking in your comments. I admitted to being fooled back in post #9, long before sarahconnor2 or you showed up to pile on. What I'm pissy about is turning Christmas into another April Fools day. As for you, you did admit back in post #34 you would find the story about a fictional homeless family "f'n hilarious" and that tells a lot about you.

Wow, Mac Lorry, your comments are funnier than the original post. You need to look up the words "hoax" and "satire". By your logic, The Onion is a cruel hoaxster site passing off fake news stories as truth for jerks to laugh at.

I did look it up and if you do you'll find that this story is a hoax. That fact that the Onion regularly runs hoaxes doesn't change the facts. If you take an Onion story and put it on ABC News as if it were real it would be a hoax. By your logic nothing can be a hoax because The Onion runs them all the time and claims they are satirical. If you want to see real satire watch South Park or SNL.

Btw, even your analogy to A Christmas Carol is faulty. It wasn't a comedy.

It doesn't have to be a comedy to be a hoax. War Of The Worlds wasn't a comedy, but when presented as real it became a hoax. The part you and others don't get is that the content is irrelevant, it's the intent to pass it off as real that makes it a hoax.

Try this: "So if you read a story about a couple of guys getting their heads bitten off by a rabbit before another guy blows it up with a hand grenade, you'd think that was funny? You're sick."

The content can be funny in its own right such as two crooks being bested by a kid who's home alone, but tell me this, what did you find funny about a kid suffering an eye injury? Does being self-inflicted make it funny or is it funny because adults warned the kid beforehand? Parents tell their kids to drive safely, so I guess you find it funny when they drive off the road and wrap their car around a tree. Apparently that's what passes for Christmas spirit nowadays.

HCI today announced that this case demonstrates how easily a lever action BB gun can be converted to a fully auto "juvenile death machine". The childs Gang Affiliation was not released, due to fear of "red wagon snowball drive-bys".

This is the first time I went to this site so I was unfamiliar with the context of the post. Didn't notice that it was filed under 'Humor', didn't know about the movie "A Christmas Story", but I thought at the end, This can't be real, especially after reading "After a few minutes of letting my young son play unsupervised with a weapon that I believed could cause him serious injury". This line was funny in a South Park/The Onion kind of way. Also, the final sentence pretty much reveals the satire.

Hey, I'd be embarrassed too if I fell for that. It seems to me that most of those who responded to your initial reaction were just ribbing you but not too hard maybe since they recognized your compassion. I also thought, "Stop digging" was good advice and well intentioned.

Those who war against Christmas use hoaxes to make it into another April Fool's day. I'm sure Atheists are pleased to see so much support from mostly conservative commenters. You know who you are and it gives new meaning to All Fools day.

Look at all the sock puppets on this thread who want to ignore the larger issue and just pile on me, but who are afraid to use their regular moniker. That's because they know they have no case on the larger issue.

The Mac person seems to follow the news a bit more than movies so I just wanted to let this person know. According to experts the Earth will be destroyed when the Mayan calendar ends in the year 2012! But don't worry, our government has built giant spaceships in an attempt to save as many people as they can. LOL