Striving for Success Magazinehttp://strivingforsuccessmagazine.com
Good Things Happening All AroundFri, 16 Jun 2017 18:27:36 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.8.4Are You Up for a New Kind of Challenge?http://strivingforsuccessmagazine.com/2017/06/16/are-you-up-for-a-new-kind-of-challenge/
Fri, 16 Jun 2017 18:27:36 +0000http://strivingforsuccessmagazine.com/?p=1050Changing People’s Lives, One Challenge at a Time

By: KATHY MOSEBROOK

If you stopped using Facebook a while back, tired of endless arguing and petty sniping, you weren’t alone. However, one man chose a different path.

“I was told a very long time ago that I am either part of the problem or part of the solution.”

Dennis Vasallo created The Kindness Challenge Facebook page to honor their son Dylan. Their son died tragically on August 4, 2015. The legacy of “a wonderful giving spirit” lives on in their family.

In the face of unkindness and political division on social media, he considered his son.

“In addition to the things we have established and taken part in as a family, and have been blessed by the generosity and support of our family and friends, what simple kind things could we all do for the betterment of our world, society and ultimately our souls. The thought came, what if we had a kindness challenge?”

This was to be a challenge of a different sort – “Not to raise money or funds, but to raise awareness and lift up each other and our hearts.”

The challenge is simple: Be kind daily. It could be “something as simple as holding the door for someone, giving a word of support to someone, to much larger acts of kindness.”

The Facebook group started out as an open group, but as the group went viral, people came along to bicker and complain. Deleting posts didn’t stop the problem. Instead of a wonderful tribute to their son, it was becoming a huge stress.

He really loved the group and wanted to keep it going, so he tried one more thing. He closed the group. It’s still easy to get in, but members watch to maintain a safe and stress-free space.

Clearly it’s working. Only two and a half months old, he has over 120k members with new members added daily. Clearly, he touched a nerve.

People post encouraging memes, such as you see in this article, as well as acts of kindness. The acts of kindness are beautiful to read. Yet sometimes the replies below the post show the best value of this page. People drowning in life’s challenges posted how much it meant to read the act of kindness – it gave them hope to continue.

Those who have known deep loss themselves are particularly touched in this group, like Joe Cohen.

“She asked me if the pump she was on was self-service and I turned to her and said no but just go inside and pay and I will pump. She proceeded to say she only had but five dollars. By the time she returned her tank had $25 dollars in it. Something about her told me I had to do it.

One step further, she had her precious little niece in the car who was upset that she wasn’t able to have Wendy’s. Something that I had to do… Her ear-to-ear smile was priceless when her aunt told her she was able to go to Wendy’s.

Dennis, I lost the closest person in my life going on three years. Sometimes we rely on others people’s happiness to get us past the moment of sadness…” Joe Cohen

In a world where people are happy to dump a bucket of ice-water on themselves and donate to a cause for a challenge, the Kindness Challenge doesn’t just encourage people, it’s changing lives. Here’s how it changed one person’s day.

“I went to the post office tonight, to confirm I had enough postage on a package. The man behind the counter started yelling in front of everyone, “You can’t use these stamps, they were on an envelope.” I explained that yes, they were, however they were not postmarked so I could certainly use them since I simply removed them from something I didn’t mail.

He was desperate for an argument, and refused to take the package, which normally would have caused my righteous self to engage. Instead, I said, “No problem, I’ll pay cash for whatever the package requires.”

His response? “Can you tell me how swollen my face looks?” A golf ball came to mind. He explained he had an abscess, couldn’t leave work and couldn’t get an appointment with the dentist and was in pain. It doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it sure does explain it.

I gave him some Motrin, my dentist’s name and number, and said, “Bye, Shrek.” All of us just cracked up.

We all carry so much sometimes and some of it is beyond our control. The kindness challenge is what forced me to consider my response, which we CAN control. It saved every person in that post office such negative energy.

Thank you and please know I thought of your son Dylan. Thank you for helping me bring laughter instead of fury to the moment through him.” Marion Frances Fischer

Other challenges are about donating or promoting a cause. This one is different. He wants to keep it simple. Stress and promotion free.

“This group/page is not to be used to sell anything, offer any services, promote any causes … NO MATTER HOW WORTHY.”

He doesn’t expect his page to end world hunger or bring world peace.

“Maybe it can be a tiny step towards treating each other with some love, respect and above all kindness. I challenge all of my friends to join this group, to do the daily challenge, to invite others to join and maybe truly prove that love, respect and kindness is alive.”

Are your days feeling longer and more tiring? It’s not surprising. In today’s economy, we do what we must to keep the lights on. We struggle to make time to exercise, cook quality meals, and get enough sleep.

Indeed, the American work ethic is deeply valued. Keeping busy, working late receives praise. Some of my friends tell me it’s the only way to get ahead. Do you hear that, too? Perhaps this nonstop activity actually brings poor health or burnout.

Like a blade needs regular sharpening to work most effectively, people need to be sharpened.

Conferences and trainings can keep us sharp. Yet there is something else. Something easy to dismiss. And in missing it, we work ourselves out of our best performance.

Wasted Potential

Employers are running into an interesting dilemma. Employees tend to avoid taking real breaks, eating at their desk instead. They also aren’t taking their vacation days, citing cost, too much work, and a need to save them for family emergencies.

Believe it or not, many employers believe their workers would be more productive if they took their allotted time off.

The ability to unplug is critical on multiple counts. Turns out, so is the first factor of success – the ability to play.

Necessity of Play

“Nate Johnson is a mechanic. He taught mechanics in a high school in Long Beach, and found that his students were no longer able to solve problems. And he tried to figure out why. And he came to the conclusion, quite on his own, that the students who could no longer solve problems, such as fixing cars, hadn’t worked with their hands.”

Brown goes on to say, “Now JPL, NASA and Boeing, before they will hire a research and development problem solver — even if they’re summa cum laude from Harvard or Cal Tech — if they haven’t fixed cars, haven’t done stuff with their hands early in life, played with their hands, they can’t problem-solve as well. So play is practical, and it’s very important.”

“It’s hugely important in learning and crafting the brain. So it’s not just something you do in your spare time,” according to Brown.

Some businesses understand this factor of success and create a courtyard with plants or a water feature.

Dynamic Reset

Tim Kreider, blogger at Opinionater, (https://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/30/the-busy-trap/?_r=0) says it really well. “The space and quiet that idleness provides is a necessary condition for standing back from life and seeing it whole, for making unexpected connections and waiting for the wild summer lightning strikes of inspiration — it is, paradoxically, necessary to getting any work done.”

“Unless the daily levels of practice are restricted, such that subsequent rest and nighttime sleep allow the individuals to restore their equilibrium,” Ericsson wrote, “individuals often encounter overtraining injuries and, eventually, incapacitating ‘burnout.’” (The Cambridge Handbook of Expertise and Expert Performance) http://www.skillteam.se/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Ericsson_delib_pract.pdf

Surprisingly, this applied to musicians, writers, and other high performers, in addition to athletes.

Quite a few successful CEOs take breaks to breathe deeply. They associate this third success habit with greater focus.

Vital Success Habits

Taking full advantage of all kinds of breaks offered is crucial to maintain our physical and mental health. Without them, the ability to bring our creative spark will fade. Our enjoyment will disappear with it. The appreciation of those we work for diminishes as well.

Try the following for the gift of sharper focus, renewed energy, and increased productivity:

Plan for a minimum of three quiet breaks daily. Just a couple minutes of breathing deeply, slowing our breath down, three times a day.

Disconnect in the evening as much as possible. We need a complete break from our jobs. Try to avoid thinking about it during our down time. If we can disconnect from electronics, we’ll experience even more restful results.

Plan for fun at least once a week. Fun looks different to everyone. What enjoyable activity causes us to lose track of time? If physical activity is involved, so much the better.

Plan to get away for a night – two or three are even better. Try to do this three or four times a year. Getting a change of scenery does wonders for our creativity. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Just away.

WASHINGTON, IN — A store has marked the main route between the Indiana towns of Montgomery and Washington for thirty years. For the longest time, I passed Amish Kountry Korner on my way to appointments. The name always intrigued me and I knew I had to visit.

The Mom-and-Pop charm plus a combination of tasty and practical items delighted me when I walked through the door. There was so much to see! Keeping more or less to the right, I set out to explore this unique store.

If you’ve never been here, you’ll see the large deli section and probably want to save perishables for last.

In the front room, the smell of Mary’s fresh-baked goodies and oversized sandwich bread beckon. There are even whoopee pies! I’ve never had one of these personal-sized treats, but I bet the rounded chocolate cake sandwich with creamy filling entice many a customer. It’s mighty hard to stick to a shopping list here!

They sell cobs of popcorn that cook in the microwave. I decided to send relatives a box of Amish goodies from the store and included a popcorn cob. (Update: They loved the unique gifts!)

Still More to Explore!

Looking in the room behind, there are diffusers and French-milled soap. You’ll see many attractive vintage items at affordable prices. I saw a bell, a music box, and a vintage-cut glass doorknob among them. At least they were there a few days ago. If you wait, chances are you’ll miss out.

There are shelves of alternative tried-and true-remedies – health tonics and ointments. You’ll also discover books, old and new, gracing tables and shelves, inviting you to explore the rich world of words.

Walking forward, you’ll see aprons, bulk peanuts in the shell, and a cabinet of coffees and teas. Just beyond, you’ll smell an enticing array of chocolates and non-chocolates in the candy room, begging the kid in you to explore.

Leaving the candy room, you’ll begin to complete the circle back toward the front door. A freezer case holds a variety of convenient items such as ground beef, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, berries, and Amish baked goods. Locally-crafted items like rolled butter or honey-butter, cheeses, and horseradish are fresh for your enjoyment. And for those wishing to be just a little naughty, there’s a small case with single slices of pie.

When I visited, Mary left the kitchen and we sat at one of the tables for two at the front of the store, where you can enjoy deli sandwiches and other delights while taking a break.

Who keeps things running?

Mary has plans to create a more country/vintage atmosphere. She wants to expand the book section, move the tables and chairs from the front to the back of the store, and produce more breads and pies.

If you are local to the Amish Kountry Kitchen, drop in to shop and find reasons to make this a regular stop. Take a friend and stay for lunch. Order a party tray. Buy some homemade bread. Find an excuse to pick up a dessert item (the small chocolate cake with chocolate icing is a classic). You’ll only wish you found this place earlier.

I stumbled upon the Vincennes University Art Gallery in Vincennes, Indiana after making a few wrong turns in the Humanities Building. The lights were still on, but when I pulled on the door it was locked.

The gallery director noticed my disappointment and opened the door, and standing next to him was the artist. I didn’t have much time as they were closing for the day.

I made a quick turn around the room. The walls were covered with life-size painted canvases. I had no time for analysis. I soaked in the mainly restful colors and smiling, innocent bald faces, albeit strange faces, partially obscured by vines or wallpaper.

Coordinated sculpted beings were in a grouping, highly polished, happy, and numb at the same time. As it turns out, the artist, Caleb Weintraub is a sculptor too!

I came away with a pleasant impression on this quick visit.

I had the good fortune to be able to visit again… to enjoy the gallery exhibit entitled, “I Feel No Paint II.”

This time, I looked more carefully at the main subjects and beyond. However, I was a bit disturbed this time, as I saw serpents and a few other weird things I hadn’t seen the first time.

Later I was to find out from Weintraub the backstory of his unusual art. He likes to work with the surreal, hybrid styles, digital, and traditional mediums. In these paintings and sculptures, Weintraub said he used “surreal elements and magic realism, as well as dream imagery in a viable space/world.”

He said that the only purchased objects in the sculptures were the dolls’ eyes. He added resin to these to make them shinier. He went on to explain that the surrealism used was a stream of consciousness and he included an intrusion of dreamlike elements into reality.

About the Artist

Caleb Weintraub has been drawing, painting, and sculpting for 12 years at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana. He is originally from New York, north of New York City.

Drawn to IU for its strong painting program, he figures the University’s art department brought him on as a “wildcard.” Since Weintraub arrived, the art department brought on three more wild cards: a political artist, a minimalist artist, and an expressionist painter.

Weintraub started drawing when he was very young. Growing up, Weintraub recalls quiet hours in the living room where he learned and drew from an inspirational coffee table book(s). In addition to art books at home, he sought books on art from libraries, and enjoyed going to art museums. During high school, he put artwork aside, but in college he returned to art.

Weintraub studied sculpture, narrative and small dioramas as an undergraduate. He loves creating big artwork. Sometimes he filled rooms with trees and other objects to observe light sources and shadows.

The sculptures are the props for his paintings he explained. He creates many sculptures from foam, plaster, and chicken wire. One time, he went to Kentucky to use a robot arm to carve into foam. This is very expensive, however.

Artists Who Impacted Weintraub

The following artists have influenced Weintraub: Hieronymus Bosch, Pieter Bruegel, Jan van Eyck. Contemporary artists he likes include Inka Essenhigh and Ruud van Empel. Some old school artists include Henri Rousseau and Rogier Van der Weyden.

But aside from painters and sculptors, Weintraub’s work is “sort of equally inspired by fashion designers, photographers, and filmmakers such as Thom Browne, Seydou Këita, and Jean-Pierre Jeunet.

When He Creates Art

He said he’s busy teaching during the day and goes home to enjoy time with his three children. Sometimes, he goes into the studio at 11 p.m. and works well into the next morning. Sacrificing sleep seems to be the only way.

Where He Displays Art

A student of Weintraub’s at IU went on to direct the art program at VU a few years ago, and he invited his former professor to display his work. It seems the roomful of compelling art at VU will be shared in many places.

Weintraub’s favorite place to display his artwork was the Peter Miller Gallery in Chicago, Illinois. His contact there was supportive and open, not levying a lot of rules and requirements. “I got spoiled by that,” Weintraub says. Unfortunately, it is defunct now.

The exhibition ended on March 17, 2017 at VU. After VU, his pieces will be displayed in Louisville, Kentucky and two places in Miami, Florida.

Have you ever awakened in the spring and realized you completely forgot about your New Year’s resolutions? I won’t bore you with statistics – we know most of us bailed on those goals by now.

Remembering forgotten New Year’s resolutions feels like a wet blanket. New chores and interests beg for our attention in the spring. The smell of freshly cut grass is becoming a weekly event. There are hikes and picnics teasing us to heal spring fever.

Where do we go from here? Forget January and welcome spring with abandon? Those were good goals, but who has time for all that now?

Turns out a fresh look could give you the best of both worlds. Look and see if you should revive those goals.

Observe What Really Happened

Often we make goals in January that can be done indoors. Eat healthier, go to the gym more, declutter, spend more wisely. If you aren’t seeing much progress, take a compassionate but honest look at what happened:

Not enough time?

Never got started?

Old habits too strong?

Unexpected curve balls?

Enthusiasm burned out?

These are stick points to expect and plan around.

Arrange Your Plate

The concept is not new: When we compare our activity versus that of highly effective people, it’s startling to consider they have the same number of hours in their day. You choose how you fill them.

It’s easy to feel like you don’t have a choice about going to work or taking care of your kids or aging parents. However, those activities reflect your values. You choose to be reliable to your family.

As busy as things feel, shifting pockets of time make room for new goals. I invite you to do this exercise:

Where exactly is your time going?

Do a time study of at least a day in 15 min increments (a week is better)

Note current obligations (don’t include new goals/habits)

Watch where your time goes (include social media, texts, and games)

Consider your physical, mental and emotional energy

Will anything change as the weather warms up? Lawn mowing and gardening might be on that list. Are there some things you are doing that don’t reflect your goals? Are you in a club that costs more time than the good it produces?

Getting rid of things stealing time and energy frees you to pursue what is most important to you. Paying attention to this next stick point is essential to making it work.

Get Realistic

Highly successful people may be able to delegate in ways we can’t. They also carefully consider how much they take on. Determining the right goals for right now is more valuable than attacking all of the great things you want to accomplish.

Getting realistic about your time lets you plan more wisely. Maybe you can’t work on each goal daily like you planned.

If your new fitness goal takes up 75% of free time available, you have 25% left to alternate between other goals. Consistent forward progress is better than no progress, yet some goals need more time.

Is reducing fitness time an option so you have more time to spend in the kitchen learning to create healthier meals? Planning time for your learning curve is valuable to set yourself up for success. Otherwise you may never get started.

Alternatively, perhaps now isn’t the time for one or more of those New Year’s goals. Maybe other goals must take center stage right now. Putting a lot of pressure on yourself will only short-circuit your intentions. Ask yourself:

Will I be ineffective in my efforts to cover all of these simultaneously?

Will I strain to accomplish all of these at the same time?

What goals, if accomplished, make the most impact?

What goals are most needed right now?

Confidence and well-being comes with forward progress. By selecting the highest priorities, you avoid overload while gaining the courage to move something forward.

Challenge Underlying Beliefs

You have beliefs surrounding old habits. If you keep telling yourself “I don’t have time,” “I can’t help it” or “I’m not good at that sort of thing,” it’s easier to give in to excuses. You already believe you won’t succeed. This keeps unwanted habits in place.

Yet what if you make those statements a trigger? Counter the excuse with a new statement like, “I am capable of change” or “I make time for things I value.” You take an excuse and use it in a powerful way to create the desired change.

Mindset is a powerful tool to create what you want. Yet there’s another aspect you need to help you deal with unexpected curveballs.

Find the Motivation

For any (average) excuse you can throw at me, I’ve used it. Sometimes I never even manage to try.
There are people like Jon Morrow, Stephen Hawking, or Nick Vujicic who have every legitimate reason to give up. I love the way Jon Morrow dealt with his fears. He attached a worst-case scenario.

Tony Robbins, in the Robbins-Madanes training did something like this with a guy who LOVED pizza. However, after imagining the smell and look of cold, moldy pizza, he was able to accomplish a new first – turning down a slice of fresh, perfectly good pizza.

Think about your goal. Think about what you could lose if you don’t accomplish this goal. Make it as horrible as you can. Suddenly, doing whatever you don’t feel like doing sounds very possible. Your mind plays a huge part in accomplishing goals.

The last is a stick point people normally miss.

Savor the Victory

Celebrate each successful attempt. Positive motivation will get you so much farther than beating yourself up for missing the mark here or there.

Brendan Burchard, author of The Motivation Manifesto, says “A life of greater joy, power, and satisfaction awaits those who consciously design their life.

Hope That Leads to Courage

Now that you see some new possibilities, dust off those New Year’s goals.

Knowing what happened, finding where your time is going now, and being realistic about what goals are appropriate for this season lets you move forward with pleasure rather than guilt and heaviness.

Awareness of the underlying beliefs that held you back in the past, armed with worst-case scenario gives you new motivation to stick with your goals.

2017 is your year. It’s going to be different from the others because you are approaching life differently. It’s messy, yet you are finding ways to be more effective. Savor the process. Enjoy knowing that you are taking steps to becoming your best self. You are so worth it!

]]>At Least They Can’t Eat Yahttp://strivingforsuccessmagazine.com/2017/04/02/at-least-they-cant-eat-ya/
Sun, 02 Apr 2017 16:30:24 +0000http://strivingforsuccessmagazine.com/?p=1013Editor’s note: This excerpt is from one of Dr. Ray Hinish’s emails. It’s a good word we feel is worth sharing.

Over the last year or so I have started practicing something called “Mindfulness Meditation” and I would highly recommend that you too look into the benefits of mindfulness meditation.

In fact, I was just in the supermarket and saw that Time Magazine dedicated an entire issue to the benefits of this very simple technique of mindfulness.

In today’s world, it seems like the thing we need most is freedom from all of the stuff that we think we need most.

We need to go into airplane mode. Turn off the TV, shut that damn phone off, turn the computer off and just sit for a few minutes in silence.

That’s it…

Let your brain rest a couple of times a day. Just sit and breathe. When the thoughts race in, just notice them and go back to focusing on the breathing.

That’s…it.

Simple and effective. Just 5-10 minutes a day is enough to see benefits.

One final tip before I go…

One thing I always tell myself is, “They can’t eat ya.”

Stress is a very primitive response to the fear of being eaten by a predator. When we have stress in our life, our brain does not differentiate between stresses…in essence, it is fearing being eaten, which is why small things appear big.

What frequent traveler in the U.S. and internationally believes Honey Moon Coffee’s espresso is better than or equal to Italian espresso?

First Impressions

When I walked into Honey Moon Coffee Company in West Evansville, close to the University of Evansville, I approached the bar to order. John, the experienced server, asked if I wanted milk in my tea, and if I wanted a tea or chai latte. I told him “yes.” What I received was a transparent glass cup with a lot of milky froth on top of my hot tea. Delicious. Who says tea drinkers can’t have fun!

John was a casually dressed guy, seasoned and confident. And, he was friendly. As Zac, the half owner of the store says, he teaches his employees that “people matter. Get to know them.” He also says that he tries to create a place for people to “pause and appreciate,” their Honey Moon experience.

Just like John’s warm and crisply efficient personality, the seating areas and room décor have a certain cool and comfortable factor. They were designed by Jessica Farmer, the other half owner and Zac’s fiancé. Jessica said she wanted to create a space that was “visually pleasing and calming, with clean lines. The space needed to accommodate different age groups: college students, millennials, and baby boomers. The goal was to create community space where we could enjoy watching people come together to share life, share experiences.”

I sat in a tall stool at the bar enjoying my chai latte. Looking right and left, I saw simple, succulent plants. I paused to enjoy the atmosphere before pulling out my “to-do” list. I looked around and saw modern paintings on the wall, tall tables and chairs, short tables and chairs, and a couch inset in the front window. A little something for everyone. As it turned out, two hours passed and I was feeling peckish. I asked John for a tea and a muffin. The muffin was delicious, and obviously freshly baked that day. All the plusses were adding up for me to want to return to Honey Moon.

When you go there, you can expect to have a lovely selection of coffees as well as a thoughtful selection of tea and tea lattes. I’ve found many coffee places don’t “get” tea drinkers. They offer an English Breakfast, a green tea, and maybe Chamomile. It’s disheartening and frustrating. Often, I carry my own tea bags, with decaffeinated black and some pungent flavorful fruit. Just like Ethiopian coffee drinkers like to switch to Ethiopian decaf during the day to sleep at night, black tea drinkers like to switch to black decaf tea for the same reason. Many are not in love with the lighter, off-center teas as a norm.

Behind the Scenes

I would guess that Zac is a perfectionist. He has a lofty sense of what to market and how to incubate his staff. He strives for “excellent food and drink” at Honey Moon and regular collaboration with employees.

The menu is broad enough to satisfy most patrons. You can find many all-day special breakfast items, including a Hong Kong bubble waffle. These are made with eggs from Jake’s Happy Hens in Evansville. Also available is a Greek yogurt parfait with fresh fruit and granola and vegan wraps. These entrée-style dishes and various baked goods are made on the premises.

There is a tempting assortment of ice cream I’m told. This is ordered from Artisan Bliss Ice Cream in Mount Vernon, a growing business that was established only in 2012. Zac says children seem to like the ice cream best.

Also acquired locally are roasted coffee beans. Black Lodge Coffee Roasters is a small batch coffee roastery and coffee shop located in historic New Harmony, Indiana. Zac said that Maestro Alfred Savia of the Evansville Philharmonic has enjoyed espresso from many places and many countries, but he raves about Honey Moon’s espresso. He says it is as good or better than the espresso in Italy.

The coffee shop has changed in its offerings as it has evolved. Now Zac is experimenting with making homemade bread that can be toasted well and served with exotic spreads

Family style owner-employee communication

Semi-monthly there are all-employee staff meetings. During these pot lucks, there is a good exchange of business suggestions. The employees are affirmed and help shape the workplace. Because of this, people feel invested and tend to stay.

Meet the Owners and their Romantic Beginning

Jessica Farmer & Zac Parsons, Owners

Jessica is an accountant and mother of three children.

Zac has a master’s degree in organizational psychology, and is a digital marketing consultant. He is the father of three children.

Their first kiss was under the moon. They look forward to marrying sometime this year.

Zac had been looking for space on Main Street for about a year for a coffee house. Then, in West Evansville, close to where Jessica had moved, a space that had been used for coffee shops for two decades became available. Most recently, The Coffee Cottage had occupied the space. The couple decided to take over the lease.

Spring cleaning puts me in an energetic mind. Throwing open the windows, letting in the mild sunshine, I scrub and organize and discard with a renewed vigor. It’s the time of year to wash all the quilts and throws and banish the dust from all the fixtures. Winter is gone; warm weather is on its way. Time to spruce up our homes in preparation. It seems like too much stuff accumulates during the Christmas season, and spring cleaning is a good time to address the piles.

Purge, organize, donate; let go of the things that aren’t helping you on your way. Clearing out the clutter helps me clear out my mind. Once the piles are gone, cleaning is easier and will probably happen more often. With that out of the way, there’s time for the pursuit of other important work or of equally important hobbies. Do you see how it all begins with an intentional spring cleaning?

About a week ago the season of Lent began; a fast observed by Christians in the forty days leading up to Easter. It’s a time of reflection, discipline, and renewal, when we look inward to recommit our hearts to God. Perhaps it’s no coincidence that Lent occurs in the spring: it is a spring-cleaning of the heart and mind. Whether you observe Lent or not, the season offers a perfect opportunity for refocusing our lives. It’s a good time to put everything in order; to purge the habits that aren’t helping us achieve our goals.

With or without a Lent discipline, you can spend a few minutes meditating on what needs to go. What habits are keeping you stuck? Commit to working on them; the year will only get busier from here with the coming of weddings, graduations, and summer holidays. Reinvest yourself in those New Years’ resolutions. Have any of them fallen away from lack of proper planning? Building new habits can be tricky. It almost always means we have to choose to say “no” to something we’re used to in order to say “yes” to the habits we want to create. Exercising every morning means saying “no” to sleeping in. Beginning to eat healthy foods means saying “no” to some of your old favorites. The person you want to be is well within your control because it’s your choice when to say “yes” or “no.”

It’s difficult to find discipline, but the journey is rewarding and energizing. Rise from the torpor of winter and welcome the activity and optimism of spring. Happy March!

]]>Rue Royale: Remedies Aheadhttp://strivingforsuccessmagazine.com/2017/03/06/rue-royale-remedies-ahead/
Mon, 06 Mar 2017 16:48:29 +0000http://strivingforsuccessmagazine.com/?p=958Editor’s Note: Do you like to learn about new music? How about older new music? Erin Maley began writing insightful blog posts about independent musicians in 2013. You can see them at Common Folk Music, but we’ll be posting them here as well. We’ll also be encouraging Erin to do follow-ups on these artists’ more recent works. Thanks, Erin!

When I first heard the music of indie band Rue Royale back in 2007, they’d just released their first EP, The Search For Where To Go, which wasn’t an album you could dismiss in a hurry. Their profound lyrics and spare acoustic sound were a perfect stage for displaying the unusually striking compatibility of their voices and harmonies.

In August, I interviewed Rue Royale’s husband-wife team, Brookln and Ruth Dekker, in anticipation of their September release, third album Remedies Ahead, recorded with the financial help of Kickstarter and a legion of followers.

Rue Royale – Remedies Ahead

When the thin white parcel containing our handmade CD dropped through the postbox onto the doormat a few weeks ago, we were just about to leave for a week’s holiday. In spite of the packing and sorting and excited children and all manner of other craziness going on, I immediately put on Remedies Ahead. And again, and again: through icing two huge chocolate fudge cakes, ticking jobs off my to-do list, and making dinner for yet more people.

Remedies Ahead is just the sort of album that you want to keep listening to over and over. The melodies are entrancing, with a hint of American West Coast trance-folk-pop finesse. Beguiling harmonies possess just the right blend of lyrical loveliness and musical perfection. Rue Royale have matured beautifully; their earlier unadorned sound is gone, but the gorgeous simplicity of gentle beats and harmonies remains, augmented by co-producer Paul Pilot’s electronic influences. This is a musically strong collection of contradictorily fragile songs, exploring themes of change and dark days in relationships and life, ultimately ending with an upbeat forward-facing decisiveness.

Whispery vocals immediately pull the listener in as the album begins with “Changed My Grip”, an originally folky song that Rue Royale have played live for a while but now recorded with new sounds. Other stand-outs on the album are first single “Set Out To Discover”, short and sweet love song “Carving Up Islands”, and the lyrically fascinating “Tiny Parcels”: “What if I could gather all the souls in the world, Leave them wrapped like tiny parcels outside your door, Would you let me see the inside of your house…”

One of my favourite tracks is “Pull Me Like a String”, with its gripping refrain “You pull me like a string, you pull me right in two, you put me out to the darkness and pull me back to you, You pull me like a string, you pull me right in two, You cause me to go blind yet I still look for you” describing a figurative dance of emotions that is echoed in the swing of the music and the relentless beat. Another is “Brought Up Somewhere Else”, with its sense of geographical displacement: “Ancient are these rolling hills, Aged brought up somewhere else”. I could personally identify with this one, having lived in the UK now for thirteen years as an expat American, similar to Brookln. I also liked the rhythmic catchiness of honest anthem “Try As They Might”, with it’s memorably repeated line “Try as they might, they cannot get me down”.

“Dark Cloud Canopies”, “Almost Ghostly”, and “Shouldn’t Have Closed My Eyes” are melancholic explorations of feelings and relationships. “Settle In Settle Down” considers the uncertainty within decisions we have to make as we walk towards the future: “I know it well the feeling, that we’re both circling around, I know the roads that we’re found on are often paved with doubt”.

“Every Little Step” is Remedies Ahead‘s perfect ending: “Working on getting my mind around this road ahead, Can’t go back can’t go backwards”. This determination to push on in spite of the darkness is what characterises this ultimately positive album.

As your mind goes, so goes your life. An old quote demonstrates this power:

Plant a thought and reap a word; plant a word and reap an action; plant an action and reap a habit; plant a habit and reap a character; plant a character and reap a destiny.

— Bishop Beckwaith

How does that affect your health? Caldwell B. Esselstyn, Jr., MD at Cleveland Clinic is credited for saying, “Genetics loads the gun, lifestyle pulls the trigger.”2

We know if we often sit in front of a television all evening, munching on junk, we are going to reap an unpleasant destiny of extra weight and feeling run down.

Begins in the Mind

The mindset that leads to munching in front of the tv is where it all starts.

I’m tired, I’ve worked hard all day. I deserve a break.

I’m still hungry.

I’m bored.

I’m lonely.

It doesn’t matter what I do, I can’t lose weight.

We Justify Our Excuse

If we begin with a mindset like we just described, it’s easier to do something we know isn’t in our best interest. We can even find reasons to support our choice.

I’m big-boned.

I need the stress relief I get when I munch.

There’s a study saying the chromium in chocolate is healthy.

Cheat days are healthy.

There’s nothing else to do.

Habit is Stronger

Let’s get real with ourselves for a moment, shall we? We aren’t fooled by our excuses. However, we do have a way of tricking ourselves into being okay with it – just this once. Never mind that we did the same thing yesterday. “I know, but just one more time.” Eventually, we give up on the pretense and indulge because we feel powerless to change. The habit is painful to change.

But you are worth more than that. You deserve better quality of life. Brute force change won’t last for long. A habit is a powerful thing after all. However, if you disturb the root of the habit, if you shift the excuse into the lie column where it belongs, you start to gain momentum.

What You Need to Know to Succeed

Do you really want to succeed? That can be a tough question to answer honestly. I hope you do. Here are three things you’ll need to know to reach your goal.

Know Which Voice is in Charge

Jonathan Roche, fitness expert, calls it our voice.3, 4 When our negative voice is making excuses, our actions follow if the voice is left unchallenged. However, when our positive voice is in charge, we act in ways that are in agreement with our best interests.

Roche encourages us to throw the rear-view mirror out the window when our negative voice wants to chastise us for failing the night before. So what about last night!? Can’t change it now. What I can do something about is my choice right NOW.

One of the things he says (ok yells) to us during our workouts is, “I believe in you more than you believe in yourself!”

Know Your Influences

There are two aspects of voice to be aware of – our own and others’. We can hear external negative voices if we are hanging out with the wrong people:

People who encourage us to act against our best interests (encouraging us to pig out on ice-cream because it was a rough day) in the name of being supportive.

People who are outright negative and unsupportive of our efforts to live a healthier lifestyle.

We are often our own worst critics and shouldn’t be allowed to speak to ourselves the way to do at times.

Know What Got You Here

I say this to you: you deserve to feel your best. Your health is everything. Without it, life can be limited and unpleasant. Health is worth protecting like the most valuable possession you have. If you aren’t feeling your best, ask yourself what thoughts led you to your current result. Then you can develop a plan for long-lasting improvement.