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13 January 2012

2012: Other Crap to Look Forward To

Two days ago we discussed a handful of things we are looking forward to in 2012. That list was somewhat limited by its "12 Things in 2012" gimmick as well as the fact that not everything in the following year is going to be great. In fact, much of it will probably suck. In fact, much of that list will probably suck. Nevertheless, Here are a handful of other crap that may be cool in the next year:

More Movies:

Too bad your subject died this year

There are a handful of other movies coming out that have some potential for awesome. Within this very month we're anticipating Haywire and The Grey as further proof that January is getting less terrible and turning into alternate action star vehicles (read: MMA chick beats up A-Listers and Liam Neeson fights wolves). As we go further down the line there are some other franchise flicks that may take off but we're skeptical about. Yes, more skeptical than G.I. Joe: Retaliation. This includes The Hunger Games, which seem overrated and a veiled attempt at sucking more cash out of the Twilight Generation and The Hobbit, which by all means looks fine, although to be honest I don't think 2012 has the same fresh Tolkien Spirit that grabbed the nation a decade ago. I'm also concerned about the struggling production after the Ring Trilogy went so smoothly.

There are also three comedies we're looking at this year that have some potential of being awesome, although none are exactly knocking us out of the park. The first, mainstream big summer comedy is Sacha Baron Cohen's The Dictator, which they wisely say is from the makers of Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006), not Brüno (2009). It's tough that Sacha's style hasn't really hit movies in starring roles besides Borat in the way his TV career did with Da Ali G Show. Can Sacha do for Gaddafi what Charlie Chaplin did for Hitler? Who knows.

We've also got our eyes on The Five-Year Engagment, as Jason Segel's likeability grows along with Emily Blunt's hotness. Then there's this bizarre 21 Jump Street trailer that somehow looks pretty funny, which works better when seeing it in the movie theater without the judgment that it's a TV show remake. At any rate, this will be the Year of Channing. Do with that what you will.

TV Times:

Fat Guy from LOST, you will always be known as Fat Guy from LOST.

There are exactly two-shows right now that look interesting at all to come out of 2012, but there's certainly some room yet to develop a rich Fall Schedule, although obviously nothing will be as good as New Girl. Actually, it's surprising how much New Girl fails the Bechdel Test. Anyway, the mid-season replacement with the most potential towards being the kind of long-term puzzling LOST-rip-off is clearly Alcatraz, about a bunch of its inmates disappearing in the 60s and reappearing...in modern times! Ohhh, fuckin shit!

We're more excited to see Don Cheadle go nuts, Captain Planet-Style in House of Lies, which is topical as well as massively entertaining. We need another slimeball on TV. And that slimeball needs to be played by Don Cheadle cutting lose and not worrying about his prestige career for a second. Also it's got Jean-Ralphio in a starring role. Thank goodness.

Musical Modes:

As we're moving along here it's more difficult to say what exactly we're pumped up for. There are plenty of artists with some new albums coming out but it's tough to say if they will have any quality or not. Some high profile releases include new work by DMX, Outkast, Madonna, and Mumford & Sons. It may be strange that I appreciate all of those artists equally, but that's that. The most tantalizing (and named) album of the year may be Tyler the Creator's Wolf as a direct follow-up to 2011's Goblin. It's tough to say who is going to fall through the cracks though, last year gave us Adele, Foster the People and LMFAO out of no where.

That's it. Everything you need to know about 2012. Start praying against the Mayans.

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