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The Unipiper Tells How He’s Spending His Quarantine

"I also joined TikTok out of curiosity and then got banned for nudity."

Stars—they're just like us. Especially right now, insofar as they are also confined to their homes, waiting for this whole coronavirus thing to sort itself out. In this new feature, we check in with prominent Portlanders to ask: How are you holding up?

Number of kids at home: A 2-year-old

What have you been eating? To keep us from getting burned out on any one option, our approach has been to keep it fresh and utilize all available resources. This includes cooking from home, subscriptions to multiple meal-kit delivery services, and supporting curbside pickup and delivery from local restaurants whenever possible. Current favorites include Mad Greek Deli, Nong's and Mi Mero Mole. I've also been trying to convince my wife to give Boober Eats a try.

What have you been watching, listening to or playing? The only show I'm currently staying up to date with is Star Trek: Picard. But what I have found the time for now is getting caught up on my incredibly long backlog of video games, including Doom (2016), Kentucky Route Zero and Control. I recently picked up the Unsolved Mysteries soundtrack on vinyl and it's a perfect mood setter.

Have you picked up a new hobby or resumed an old one? I've been using my newfound time to take to the streets and spread some unipiping joy to Portalnd's neighborhoods—dressed in a hazmat suit and maintaining appropriate social distancing, of course. I also joined TikTok out of curiosity and then got banned for nudity by posting a video of myself in bathing trunks.

What's the weirdest thing you've done so far? On the day we got snow, I dressed up in a tauntaun costume, put on an N95 face mask, rode around the neighborhood on my unicycle and shoveled snow. So nothing out of the ordinary, really.

What do you miss most about the outside world? I'm very saddened by all of the events that have been forced to cancel, from concerts to VHS swap meets to the Retro Gaming Expo to this year's Rose Festival.

What's your secret to staying sane? Looking ahead to the true silver lining of this quarantine: creativity. Portland's famous food cart boom was born in part as a response to being confined by a blizzard, and I just know we'll see something equally compelling come from this.

What's the first thing you're doing when this is all over? Getting a haircut and a beer at the Horse Brass, just not at the same time.

A native Southern Californian, Arts & Culture Editor Matthew Singer ruined Portland by coming here in 2008. He is an advocate for the canonization of the Fishbone and Oingo Boingo discographies, believes pro-wrestling is a serious art form and roots for the Lakers. Unfortunately, he doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon.