Tom needs a challenge and he's only 44So, here is my "Mission: Impossible" plan:He defended Marines in "A Few Good Men"Why not fight with them in Afghanistan?

Tom's star is waning, he has nothing to loseThis should be the prevailing psychologyIf he gets hurt, his films will be worth moreA boon to his beloved Scientology.

His agents and lawyers and managersMay malign me for being uncouthBut they're blinded by his fading fameAnd just can't handle the truth.

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Tony Peyser provides daily poems and weekly cartoons for BuzzFlash and also writes the new BuzzFlash column, "Blue State Jukebox." He was a daily cartoonist for the L.A. Times from 1994 to 1997. You can contact Tony via email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
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