Chris Trew

The NBA’s Supersonics are heading out of Seattle and into Oklahoma City (boooo). Since the team owners are sweet enough guys to leave the name “Supersonics” behind, Oklahoma City gets to have a naming contest for their team (yay!). The four finalists were recently revealed by ESPN and they are (drum roll, please): Barons, Thunder, Thunderbirds, and Outlaws.

Austin, I know, I thought the same exact thing. We’re the Outlaws. Sure, there are two Giants (San Francisco and New York), two Kings (Los Angeles and Sacramento), two Panthers (Carolina and Florida), as well as two Rangers (Texas and New York). But of those teams, only the Kings are anywhere near each other on a map (384 miles between LA and Sacramento) and we’re not going to count them because they’re in the same state. That officially makes the Outlaws the worst possible choice for Oklahoma City, as a mere 388 miles separate OKC and ATX.

Are you ready for the mind games to get even deeper? Hold on to something squishy with one hand and keep scrolling down with the other.

Last week the Austin Ice Bats told me via email that they will no longer be playing at Chaparral Ice and that they’re “currently looking for an acceptable location in the Austin area” for next season. Not bad, I thought. Chaparral Ice was a nice venue, but the relationship between building and sports franchise never really caught on. I get the feeling nobody ever drove by and thought to themselves, “that’s my home for hockey.”

The real bad news was dropped in the next paragraph. The organization “will investigate relocating the team outside of this area if needed.”

Let’s face it, America: I eat a lot of breakfast tacos. I eat them almost every day, because if I don’t I’m afraid something terrible might happen to me. After all, nothing terrible has happened to me since I started eating them, right? Right.

As far as your calendar is concerned, summer is officially over. Step outside, however, and your body is telling you otherwise. It wants to eat snow-balls, it wants to not-study, and it wants to go to Disney World with your fam-ily. You can’t afford to do any of those things, we know, but if you have $3, you can make some room in your day to head back to Barton Springs where the diving board has been re-installed!

Most athletes use an alias when checking into a hotel while on the road, regardless of their star status. Houston Astros pitcher Wandy Rodriguez, however, didn’t while the ’Stros were in Chicago battling the Cubs last weekend, and it resulted in an early morning crank phone call.

Looks like another dog’s day afternoon, huh? I guess I’ll sit next to this windowsill and stare out the window all night (because the concert I’ve been planning on attending got canceled last minute)?!!

photo / ColdTowne Theater Look Cookie, the first troupe formed from the ColdTowne Conservatory, debuts last April.

See how happy everyone looks up there? Everyone in the picture above is either making shit up on the spot and having a blast doing so or sitting in a crowd watching people make shit up on the spot and having a blast doing so.

Emo’s just announced that indie/emo/pop/rock/omg legends Jimmy Eat World will play a special club show on July 30. Hold on to your credit cards though, kiddies — tickets don’t go on sale until June 16th.

Looking at the win-loss column, it’s been a long season for the Austin Wranglers. Luckily for you, sports fan, arena football remains mostly exciting no matter how lopsided the score is. So don’t let the weak 4-9 last place record keep you from treating a few of your friends to the last arena football game Austin will see until 2008.

Yeah, the book was released about a month ago and the book-signing party hoopla is all finished, but some of us have other things to do besides sitting around reading books all day. So forgive me for getting to Owen’s collection of short stories a little later than most. Surely I’m not the only one, though, and that’s what I’m here to share with you, loyal reader.

The last time Melissa Cathcart and Jay Olson performed improv comedy in Austin, things were quite different. The Chicago-based comedy duo is returning to Austin to perform a homecoming show Saturday, June 2, at the ColdTowne Theater.