North Korean President to open restaurant in Scotland

Scottish people have some of the strongest stomachs in the world – but even they may struggle with a restaurant from cheese-obsessed North Korean lardball Kim Jong-Un.

The waddling dictator has already opened branches of the Pyongyang restaurant in China and Holland – with some serving delicacies such as dog-meat soup and a bottled aphrodisiac allegedly made from bears.

Next to that lot, deep fried Mars bars and a national dish made from sheep’s bowels sounds positively delicious.

Kim is alleged to be eyeing up Scotland because of his love of whisky – which is so popular in his communist dictatorship it’s sometimes used instead of money.

The podgy autocrat also admires Alex Salmond’s attempt to break free of English control last year.

While that is something that Scots might be able to get on board with, it’s debatable whether they’ll share Kim’s taste in food, with Western Pyongyang outlets serving ‘delicacies’ such as pine nut gruel.