Monday, August 18, 2008

We always let our kids choose what they want to eat for dinner on their actual birthday. They can choose a casual restaurant or take-out or I'll cook them a special meal. Jackson chose Taco Bell today. Wow, what a treat. I had to go to the stupid gyno for another pap because if you'll remember HERE, I now get to go every 3 months. On the way home, I stopped at Taco Bell to pick up the grand fiesta birthday dinner. I had a feeling that if I went through the drive-thru, there was no way on earth they'd get my huge order correct, so I went inside to order.

"Welcome to Taco Bell. Can I take your order?"

"Sure, I'd like 9 soft tacos..."

She cut me off with, "OK, will that be all?"

"Ummm no. I'd also like 3 crunchy tacos..."

"OK, your total...."

"I'm not done! I'd also like an order of nachos, a bean burrito, 2 steak gorditas, a chicken chalupa, 4 strawberry fruitista freezes, and 2 mango fruistas."

"OK. Is that for here or to go?"

I just stared at the girl waiting for a light to go on. She continued to look at me blankly.

"It's for here. I'm just that hungry."

My sarcasm was lost on the girl who got out a tray and started piling food on it.

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding. It's to go," I cried.

Still clueless, she said,"Oh ok," and began to fill a bag with tacos.

Then she looked up and asked me seriously, "Do you want a drink holder?"

Clearly, they hire Rhodes scholars at this Taco Bell.

"Nah, no drink holder. I'll hold 4 cups in my hands and 2 with my feet and I'll balance the bag of food on my head while I walk out to my car on my buttcheeks."

She stared at me for a full minute as if trying to gauge whether I was a joker, a circus performer, or just an escaped mental patient. Or maybe she was thinking, "Gee, I wonder if Brad will call me tonight? What color lipgloss should I wear to school tomorrow? Why does my hand smell like funnel cakes?"

I gave up and conceded, "Yes I'd like a drink holder please."

I double checked my order right then and there because there's nothing worse than getting home, realizing you're missing half your order, and having to drive back to get it. Amazingly they got it right. So I got home and took the food out to the picnic table in the backyard where I saw this display:

It's their "fort". The fort consisted of some boxes, an old mattress, a piece of plywood, some seats that are supposed to be installed in my van (when Joe gets around to it in another 5 years or so), assorted beach towels, and the umbrella from the the picnic table. No big deal until I saw the "padding" they used. They had my crib set: comforter, bumper pads, diaper stacker, mobile, curtains, and dust ruffle strewn about the garage floor and yard. What the??? I had the set packed up in a box in the garage and was trying to decide whether to sell it, give it away, or pack it up ad save it because I loved it so much. Now it was full of dirt and debris. Yay, more laundry!

And where was Joe through all of this? Sitting in the backyard, snoring away in my beach chair. Not that the kids don't do this kind of crap on my watch. I've had my share of being oblivious to their shenanigans (hee hee hee, I said "shenanigans"!) But hello? He was sleeping! Ugh.

I just had a rotten day because the kids think that pillows are to be thrown at each other, food is supposed to be plopped onto the floor, crumbs are to be spread across the table, peanut butter smeared knives are to be set on the counter, toys are to be left out over every square inch of floor, eyes are to be rolled at me, and whenever the phone rings, they're supposed to follow me around the house screaming their heads off. How many more days until school starts???

Here's my theory- Children increase the frequency of days that they drive us absolutely BONKERS right before school starts ON PURPOSE. It is so their mommies don't miss them as much when they are suddenly gone all day. Isn't that sweet of them?

I feel your pain we only have 7 more days till school starts here :) i'm so excited and as far as double checking your order i went to mcdonalds the other day and ordered 2 meals that was it both with sweet teas and fries well i got home and realized that 1 order of my fries was missing in action so i kindly went back and explained what happened and then asked them to remake the whole order i mean one of us shouldnt have to eat cold food while the other one has hot food so they did the genius i am forgot to check the order again b4 i left thinkin since they messed it up the first time they wouldnt do it the second time yeah right again no fries i gave up guess they were not meant for me that day.... sasha

This is my life but I only have three that are 7 and under. I can't imagine doubling the mess. You have to be sooo tired. I hate laundry. My couch is never empty of it as they dirty it faster than I can clean it. Forts in my house always equal, you guessed it, more laundry. I have two dogs and two cats and even with my super duper Kirby what ever hits the floor has to be cleaned. Right now I can't find my floor. My kids explode everywhere they go. You're not giving me much hope that as they get older it gets better...unless your 3 youngest are totally to blame. I have a feeling that's not the case. School started for us last Thursday and my youngest is in preschool for 3 1/2 glorious hours a day. Did I clean during that time today? NO. Should I have cleaned? YEP. I set the timer and took a nap. A nap! It was heaven and I have no guilt, today anyhow.

I just had a very similiar thing happen to me at McD's this weekend and I think I must have had the cousin to the stupid girl serving you serving me. I tried to make a joke when she asked if I wanted that to stay or go and she just got the tray ready I told her before she could start piling on stuff. What an idiot!!!

Meanwhile, you had me laughing so hard I was crying with your remark about walking out on your buttchecks! Oh my poor diaphram I was already sore from sneezing so much this weekend and I couldn't stop laughing!!

Girl, I feel you on the phone issue. Mine are already back in school (we go year round here, 9 weeks on, 3 weeks off). But whilst on the phone today, 5YO son follows me around, ever so gently tapping me on the shoulder, over and over and over and over... you get the idea... good times, huh? :)

A friend of mine also ran into Einstein's niece at Taco Bell. He asked for a large Pepsi Cola. She looked at him condescendingly and said "we don't have Pepsi Cola, we just have Pepsi".

Not that Taco Bell is any better or worse than any other fast food restaurant where teenagers are expected to stand on their feet for hours while dealing with money and customers and managers for minimum wage.

hahahaha - classic Dawn.'Why does my hand smell like funnel cakes?'I think I'm caught up on reading your posts for the summer. I don't know if I'll ever catch up on the comments. I thought I'd start here as there were '0' so far :)

I feel your pain about Taco Bell. Although I've been to the Taco Bell around the corner from me often enough to have formed relationships with the folks who work there. Some of them have told me stories about the customers that come in. The most vivid is the customer, an adult, who threw chalupas at the person behind the counter because the chalupas had tomatoes on them, something the customer had asked to be left off.

Granted they may not be the best and the brightest, but the people who work at Taco Bell are certainly doing a job that I could last at half a day, tops. Or until the first person threw food at me. Whichever came first.

I too encountered a waitress who had to have been separated at birth from her twin that you ran into. We went to a local family restuarant and I ordered chicken nuggets and fries asking for an extra plate so that my 2 toddlers can share. The waitress looks at me and says do you just want one extra plate I said NO I want a plate for each fry. She looked at me then began writing on her receipt I said NO just one extra plate Then she says you want a side order of fries. I said NO the nuggets come with the fries. Then she brings one drink at a time which took like forever for all of us to get our drinks She never did get silverware I went and got that myself along with my husband's coffee. When we were all done and were about ready to leave my husband looks at me as if to ask with his EYES should we leave a tip and I told him that if money was left on the table he would never hear the end of it. and he needed to remember that I sleep with him. We left with NO tip for the moronic girl.

Oh I had to add this one that just came to my feeble mind. A couple years ago we stopped at our local Burger King via the drive thru. I placed my order and was given the total of like 2 something. I said to the kid that cant be right. He responds Ma'am that's the total once again I told him that it had to be more than that and he replies I dont make the prices ma'am So I figure ok I tried so I handed him a 20.00 and his gives me my change and I asked for a receipt he hands me the receipt and TADA my total was MORE he must have been dyslexic because the total he gave me was the actual total backwards.

OK, is it wrong that when I read that you have to go to the OB/Gyn every three months, I was jealous that you get that much time to yourself? It's a sad commentary on the life of a stay-at-home mom! I had one of those days today, too, and I was relieved to hear that yours was just as bad.

P.S. My husband and Joe sound like two peas in a pod! Wouldn't trade him, but I could kill him sometimes.

AMEN SISTER!!! My hubby is a teacher... So for me this means 3 kids go back to school and soooo does my hubby! I will be all alone with my doggy to do what I please!! AHHHHHH I love a quiet house. Ahhhhh I love the husle and busle of a busy school!!! Yippppeeee it is almost here.

OH and I am so glad I got your order right. You had me so confused with the no drink holder. LOL!!! DAH!!!

Ha ha ha, classic forting escapades! My kids drag out all their bedding and set it up under the trampoline in our backyard, go and do something else, and then at bedtime want me to go get their stuff for them! Drives me nuts. My kids are probably sick of hearing me chant "two more weeks, two more weeks" as I pump my fist in the air, I am so excited about school! There is a reason summer vacation isn't more than 2 months, there might be concern for children's safety and mother's remaining sanity! Jana

This was so funny! I can so relate on the daddy sleeping while kids make messes. I don't how many times I have been so excited to get out by myself only to come home to utter mayhem and a dishreveled home. I don't know why I expect to have my husband basically replace me if I leave. It almost makes me never want to leave. (only almost....)

OMG! Bahama Breeze! I love that place! They shut the only location in Louisville, KY down so now the closest one is about two hours away. I am sooooo not happy about it. Their plantain nachos....oh and don't even get me started on their banana foster dessert....ok....I need some sweets now.

Too funny! Around here the geniuses all work at Wendy's. I don't think I've ever encountered such an impressive staff (now hear my sarcasm). Wish I could remember all those witty comebacks, though . . .

Dawn, I can totally relate to this story. I'm the oldest of 5 kids and we often went to Taco Bell as a "treat" (it is cheap-ish after all). I hope you really said those things to the chick, because I've always wanted to, but never had the courage!! It never ceases to amaze me how oblivious people can be!! I've been asked "for here or to go" for food for both me and my husband (when I've clearly ordered two sets of food) and have had bad thoughts about the chick - now, maybe, I'll have the courage to blurt out what I'm thinking! Thanks for the laughs! - Daisee579

I totally feel your pain on places messing up on take out orders... that happens to me ALL THE TIME!!!For kids...school starts here tomorrow. Although now I have my 18 month old God daughter through the day...

CONGRATULATIONS! You have won the Mrs Nespy’s Frugal World Bronze Medal for August 18th. Go to http://mrsnespy.googlepages.com/grabyourmedalhere to get the code to post your medal if you’d like. Thanks for the great writing!

I'm just excited for you that Taco Bell got it right...they rarely do where we live!

Yeah. Those fast food employees sure are stupid!!!111oneone!! They should definitely be able to read people's minds. LAWL!!!!11

So, I got annoyed. Why? Because I worked at fast food. The customers are generally stupid NOT the employees. That girl asked if you wanted it for here or to go... why was that so bothersome to you? You see, she was probably used to one parent coming up to order while the OTHER parent stayed at the table with the children. She had NO way to know that you wanted it to go. So she did her job and asked you. You were sarcastic and instead of calling you on it, she did her job by being your punching bag.

Now that I got my frustration out about that. I really do enjoy your blog.

I love it when there's a sign at the drive thru that tells the customer to "check your order before leaving the window" and the person staffing the window smiles at you while you're checking it and tells you to "move on so I can take care of the next customer."

Never, EVER, make sarcastic comments if you think the person waiting on you will have an opportunity to spit in your food or beverage! As they say, "__it happens."

Ahh...Remember back in the beginning of summer you were looking forward to the kids being home? LOL! Me too. Mine started back last week and I missed them the first few days. This week has been incredibly quite and nice. I still have one at home but she is a sweetie when her brothers are not around.

Tadow, Take a deep cleansing breath. Feel better? Now lighten up! I didn't call all fast food workers stupid. But when I'm the only person in the entire restaurant and have just ordered enough food for a small army, asking me if it's for here or to go is little stupid, don't you think?Yes, I poke fun at people and things on my blog, but I don't do it in a mean way. Heck, I make fun of myself more than anyone else. Sooo, take another breath and relax.PS - what's up with all the ONEs(1)s?

I hate hate hate when the fast food checker interrupts me in the middle of my order. It especially annoys me when I place my hubbie's standard order for a "whopper, no tomato, extra mayo. then i need.." "would you like cheese on that?" *thinking* um. no. if i wanted cheese, i'd have said cheese. actually saying, "No thank you. I also need.." "is that all for you?" "NO! i also need blah blah blah and blah and..." "did you want cheese on that?" NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo. Grr.

Hoo boy....I work fast food, have done so for years. I have worked with some real winners and some real losers (yes, they may have been the same person, cloned). Some people just aren't cut out to work in a job like that. A lot of people see fast food as a starting place for entering the job market. Once in a while, we get a newbie who is a real gem, who learns quickly and is fun to work with. Then, to bring us crashing back to reality, we get one or three who can't find their butt(s) with both hands and a flashlight. Of course, I do have to bring in the customer who recitestheirwholeorderonewordrightaftertheother, so the employee can't get a word in edgewise, then gets upset because we have to ask what size they want, if they would like an upgrade, what flavor, and on and on. I have fun with customers, because if they get sarcastic, I throw it back at them and we all get a good laugh. Of course, then there is the employee who is 76 years old and refuses to retire, and she isn't the bright light bulb she used to be....

I think I'm the only Mommy on the planet who is dreading back-to-school. My school-age kid hates school with a fiery passion. Back to school means nagging her to do her homework, prying her lazy bum out of bed every morning, listening to the constant whining, making lunches, etc. Plus, when she's home, she helps me with the 2 year old, and lets me have naps (I'm pregnant, so naps are Good Things).

Ok I've never posted before even though I do read your blog daily - it always makes me laugh! But your description of walking out of Taco Bell on your buttcheeks was priceless! I started to laugh out loud, then had to explain to my husband why...so it may partly be due to the fact that its past midnight, I've been up since 5am, I worked a 12 hour shift today and then came home to my other job (mommy), but by the time I finished telling him about your post I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face and he could barely understand what I was saying! You are too funny!! Thanks for the laugh :)

Six more days. I can make it six more days. I wonder if I can remember how to read without being interrupted every other word..

We went to the school open houses today (three different schools now) only to discover that all three of our children's teachers are new to the district and were spending Open House Day at mandatory New Teacher Training. Yeah, that would have been good information to have before we left...