In the Funkiverse, camera tripods were never invented. Harry sits for the obligatory passport photo, and Harriet finally gets to open that frog mouth of hers. If you asked me to imagine what a “drug overlord” looks like, I wouldn’t immediately picture a white-haired, unshaven, scowling septuagenarian, but the syndicate probably thought “another photo of you that looks a little less like a child molester” was a bit too edgy.

Uh yeah, he looks like the nation’s number one Coumadin smuggler all right. “First you get the anti-coagulants, then you get the money, then you get the pow-ahhh”. Once again the boring minutia of daily American life is a source of high comedy for MoTab, I truly hope he hasn’t applied for a library card recently or anything.

I used to take passport photos or Walgreens. I’d never say anything like this. If the picture looked crappy, I’d take another, without saying a word. The nice thing about digital is that you can actually take several pictures and then let the customer pick the one they want. If it’s too much effort for you to shave for a passport picture when you’ve been given a trip to Europe, you’re a horrible person, especially since you shave every time you go to hang out at a high school where you don’t work anymore. Also, you have to take off your glasses for the photo. If you’re going to bitch about getting a passport application, put a little bit of effort into it.

I suspect that the Creators Syndicate, or whatever they call themselves, said, “Oh, hi Tom Batiuk! Got your strip–LOVE IT, by the way–but could you change ‘paedophile’ or, your alternate ‘semen devourer’ to something just a bit more compatico? Maybe ‘drug kingpin’ might work while we work this out. Thank you so much! Love the shoes!”

I don’t know. The drug overlord thing came soooo out of left field for me, that I actually found it amusing. Just the idea that these bored Walgreens employees think Dinkle looks like some kind of just captured mafioso.

And the writing conference plot in Crankshaft has been funny in a ‘I’ve-been-to-these-writing-conferences-and-oh-GOD-are-they-depressing-and eveyone-is-shilling-and-shilling-constantly” kind of way.

So I am going to unashamedly admit I found both strips funny enough today. And then I am going to immediately seek counseling.