Tuesday, September 3, 2013

CTL article

I took a chance a few months ago when I saw @CollegeTownLife advertising for freelance writers on Twitter. I responded to their plea for articles and sent one in. I never heard back. So, I am not good enough. Yet. I wrote about the epedimic of campus preachers that ignites when springtime starts.

What you can find at an on-campus crazy preacher gathering

Springtime is in the air. With its
gentle breezes comes the smell of free snow cones, the sweat of students tanning
studying for finals on the lawn, and the harsh rants of a Bible-thumping
preacher ignoring all rules of the bike lane. Chances are, Brother Jed or
Pastor Micah has made an appearance on your campus already and you’ve been
privy to the three typical scenes provided for your study-break pleasure.

1.The focus on sex: For a religious activist, the
guy is excessively focused on sexual sin. Bedazzled with anti-homo pins and “no
porn!” buttons, he shouts at the ladies with shorter shorts, reminding them
that they “aren’t in hell just yet, but you’ll probably wanna pack those booty
shorts for when you arrive!” and reprimands close couples, not for nauseating PDA, but for terribly shocking premarital hand-holding.

2.The “good guy” devil’s advocate: A small crowd
of gawking students gathers and one of them calmly asks thought-provoking
questions like “does loving God come before you stop sinning or do you stop
sinning and then love God?” Instead of recognizing your peer’s question,
Brother Jed continues to yell about the perils of masturbation.

3.The attention-whore demonstrator: Noticing that civilized
questions don’t rattle Pastor Micah, this students grabs their friend and
starts a frantic tongue-swapping or risque dancing, which ignites a fury in the Bible-beater that
causes his Amish top hat to shake.

Surprisingly, Brother Jed fails to
encourage you to stay in school and be a productive member of society, which is
what the world really needs. I suggest new picket signs, maybe proclaiming, “Go
get it on, just leave time for studying!”

I don't know the exact reasons CTL didn't choose to publish my article attempt. It was rough, but I was open to revision. And I still am, for all of my future public writing endeavors. Another one is coming up (soon I hope!) and A Very Lucky Girl can't wait to share it with you!