Childhood Trauma : The Effects of Bullying

Being bullied when we were young can have long-lasting adverse effects, particularly if we were sensitive and socially anxious as children.

The form that bullying takes can be both overt (blatant and obvious) or much more subtle, The subtle forms of bullying are more difficult to detect, but they include :

– betraying a trust

– excuding people

– isolating people

– making unreasonable demands

– innuendo and gossip

– manipulation

When the above techniques are used to bully others, they will also be accompanied by a deliberate attempt to control and/or exclude the person on the receiving end of the bullying. Bullying also involves victimization, humiliation and intimidation.

EFFECTS OF BULLYING :

Bullying can create social anxiety or reinforce and exacerbate existing social anxiety. Five main areas it can affect in this regard are :

1) Effects on our beliefs – eg people cannot be trusted, I am unacceptable to others, people will always exclude and reject me, I do not belong etc

2) Effects on our attention – constantly and/or obsessively checking on how people are responding to us eg are they frownig? do they look bored? do they look irritated? etc. Often, this goes hand-in-hand with imagining a person disapproves of us when there is, in fact, no objective reason to suppose this

3) Effects on our behaviours – eg excessive need for the approval of other, becoming withdrawn and ‘keeping ourselves to ourselves’, behaving according to expectations of others at the cost of our own individuality

5) Effects on our assumptions – eg living by the policy that, in social situations, ‘attack is the best form of defense’ leading to over-aggression towards others, the assumption that everyone will take advantage of us, the assumption that we must not get involved with anyone in a position of authority and influence etc

An excellent way to help to overcome social anxiety, and a method I used to aid my own recovery, is the use of self-hypnosis. I therefore provide a link (below) to a very high quality hypnotherapy website where you may learn more about hypnosis and/or purchase self-hypnosis products, not only to combat social anxiety, but for a large range of other conditions as well. Here is the link :