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Picasso’s ‘Weeping Woman’ revealed as ‘unfortunate Cubism sufferer’

Art historians have revealed that the subject of Picasso’s famous painting Weeping Woman was not his mistress but a woman infected with the rare disease, Cubism.

‘The unpleasant condition manifested itself in acute angular deformities of the face and body,’ said art critic Brian Sewell. ‘In some cases victims would suffer an initial blue period before displaying anguish, terror, despair, hysteria and even death. Cubism had not been totally eradicated by 1937 and new and more virulent strains surfaced from time to time, especially among bohemian sectors of society.’

Art historians are now investigating the theory that Monet and Cézanne suffered from a condition known as Impressionism which caused blurry vision, and that René Magritte had an apple for a face.