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Handsome older man that is interested in me. The feeling is mutual. I've explained to him the things I feel comfortable doing. But before I do them, I said to myself, better ask Ann to make sure!

These are the things I would do:

Definitely deep kiss him. Maybe some mutual masterbation and would really enjoy frottage in the sense it would be two bodies rubbing together all over. Now, to me, that just sounds too good! I can do all these things plus rub our bodies all over each and not even have to give a single thought about hiv transmission? And I can do it as many times as I want? From what I have learned, no risk at all. Tell me i'm correct! This is too good to be true.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Use condoms for intercourse and avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I usually try to keep my posts short so I forgot to mention recieving a blow job. But no real need to reply on that one. No risk it seems, even if your uncircumsized.

Quick question about a post on the old website though... I've asked questions about frottage and Ann has been a great help. Feel rather apprehensive asking this because if this was a risk, it would be clearly written somewhere. I know frottage, which is rubbing genetelia to genetelia, is no risk. My question is rubbing penis against outside of anus. It's not something I want to practice, i'm more asking if like it accidentally happens.

I understand this forum is specific but I figured I would go ahead and ask anyway. This morning I noticed that on the right side of my foreskin, it was a little puffy and reddish. No pain or irritation whatsoever. No discharge or pain during urination. I have been checked for syphilis, ghon., herpes and chlam and all negative. This can't be an hiv situation for I wasn't at risk. I already notified my doctor to see what she thinks. Does that sound like any type of STD? Any opinion is appreciated. Cub

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I'm doing pretty well myself, very overwhelmed with work but it keeps me going!

I'm kind of wondering about something. It's not really a risk assessment so if I get no response, understood.

About a year and a half ago when I got all wound up about a frottage and french kissing episode, I was looking up everything I could about hiv transmission through those means. As soon as I found this site, it came to a halt because of the legitimacy of aidsmeds.com. I had found a documented case of transmission via deep kissing, but then learned that case was never proven and well refuted. My question is, I've read a couple of posts here that claimed kissing may be their form of transmission, how come such cases don't get picked up like the one documented in 1997? I guess I'm looking for some sort of comments that will dismiss such posts. Scientific fact is the only guiding light for some of us and then you get some posts that try to throw a wrench in what some of us have lead to believe. (and I don't mean throw a wrench in on purpose)

It makes me think, how did that happen, scientific fact is scientific fact!! Hiv transmission does not happen by open-mouth kissing, frottage, masturbation, body rubbing, protected sex and most forms of oral-sex. How can this be?!?

I guess the answer is NO PROOF? People can say anything they want on the internet. And, accidents do happen? Frustrating.

That's a valid point. It's just kind of scary to think that if these people had protected/safer sex, how is it possible? One of the things I have realized so far is that genital intercourse, protected or not, does seem to be involved in such cases. Makes me think in two ways: One, is that condoms might be effective, but accidents can happen. Two, we all make mistakes, and sometimes we might not remember exactly what happend. For example, yesterday I found a cut on my leg, and I simply cannot remember how I got it. You would think I would remember, but I just don't. I think that analogy may apply to certain cases.

It's probably better I stay out of other forums and stick to this one before I find another post that will get my worry wagon going again.

Quick question I'm curious about. Interesting that sometimes people you would never think have gone through hiv transmission situations.

I was speaking to a cousin of mine that has been an RN for several years. As she was telling me some of her stories, she mentioned a time that she was pulling a blood sample out from an hiv positive patient. As she was doing the process, some blood accidentally hit her eye. She has tested negative conclusively during the appropriate testing windows. My question is, what was her risk?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

On reading posts about frottage, and where some males are concerned if they rubbed too close to the vagina or how far in they have to penetrate for it to be a real risk, my question is for anal sex. How far in would a male have to penetrate in order for there to be risk since transmission must happen inside of the body?

You don't want to be putting your penis inside of either a vagina or an anus without a condom on it. Don't start dipping - you're treading on dangerous territory there. Rubbing outside is fine, inside is a no-no.

If you can't trust yourself to rub without an inward thrust, then do yourself a favour and don't tempt yourself. Get a condom on.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I didn't even have to ask that question I apologize. You would know once your inside another body or dipping. The difference between frottage and dipping is obvious. Either way thanks for your support.

I know Iíve posted a few times as of late and believe me, last thing I would want to do is disrespect this website.

Flu and cold season is here and being an educator, Iím around many students so itís easy to catch a bug. Iím going in for a flu shot as soon as I get a chance, but I also have been wanting to go in and see my doctor because I have felt fatigue, body aches and sometimes malaise for the last couple of weeks. Makes sense if itís just the season.

I donít want to tell my doctor of my incident which occurred a year and a half ago because I donít know how informed my doctor is about hiv transmission. Iím sure my doctor knows the basics, but maybe not the most accurate scientific facts. My question today I can probably answer on my own but would like your expertise.

Since my incident only involved deep kissing/frottage/mutual masturbation with an hiv positive friend, is it alright to assume that there is no need in telling my doctor it happened at all? I would tell her if it was a real risk, but in my situation, itís not necessary, scientific fact is scientific fact. Am I correct?

I wanted to make sure about this because I don't want to feel like i'm hiding something from my doctor. I have felt fatigue and mild malaise for the last couple of weeks but it can be related to many things such as high stress, my over-indulgent diet and being a light sleeper. It's also flu/cold season so it can just be my body fighting off viruses. Regardless of symptoms, science tells me it's impossible that it is hiv related.

I think I already know the answer to this one, but made me think yikes.

After my dental appointment yesterday, my teeth were cleaned so my front bottom gums bled but no big deal, have great oral health, went to visit one of my favorite bar tenders I have not seen in a long time. I went up to him and gave him a bug hug. Was great to see him. I did wonder a bit, although I don't open mouth kiss him cause it's not that kind of friendship, I was wondering the risk if I would have since he is positive. I KNOW kissing is not a risk, but is this true even after a teeth cleaning where your gums bleed some. I'm sure I would have read it somewhere if it was a risk, just makes me think dang, no risk even like that?

Ever since I ran into aidsmeds.com website, I started to ignore all other websites with hiv information such as The Body. Today I checked both this website and The Body and did not like what I read on the body.

Two Questions:

On a post, a man was stating that some sex worker had rough deep kissing and was biting his lip hard. He doesn't recall any bleeding. Now, why is it that on some posts within the same year, Dr. Bob will say nonexistent for french kissing transmission and then he tells this man extremely low risk? Why doesn't he make up his mind?

Now on another post I read, just want to know the assessment of this site. A man said that while he was giving another man a bj, his penis bled a very small amount due to irritation. I understand that giving a bj is at the bottom of the risk scale, but it was what Dr. Bob said that made me think hmmm. He said having infected blood in your mouth does pose a risk. As far as semen or precum, I can understand, but why the blood? Like how would that be different from a possible amount of blood from french kissing is my main question? French kissing is no risk.

Since there is no clear evidence that HIV is transmitted through kissing, it would be easier to say that there is no risk associated to that, but that could be considered innaccurate. It is probably more accurate to say that the likelihood of transmission is "extremely low" or "negligible" because there is no evidence that transmission happens this way.

The fact that the risk of transmission through kissing is so low should hopefully indicate to you how you should proceed. Testing is not recommended, and the risk of transmission to you or your partner through kissing is not a realistic concern.

So even though most of the time french kissing risk is stated as nonexistent on The Body, I guess I can see why sometimes they will say extremely low risk just to be theoretically correct. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Why do you come here to ask us to explain illogical things someone said on another website? The reasonable thing to do would be to ask the person who said it. We're not your information clearinghouse or office gophers.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Last night, a friend suprised me with kisses on my lips due to Valentines day. I don't know my friends status but I believe I kept my mouth closed since I have two big kanker sores towards the back of my upper and lower gums. I know this is not an HIV assessment question but since my sores were far enough back in my mouth, would I have posed a risk to my friend with HSV-1 if that's what I have?

Also, just to add what I already have learned, even though I don't know my friend's status, even if we would have deep kissed, two kanker sores will still NOT pose any risk for hiv transmission. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I made a schedule mistake so I was only able to speak with an hiv counselor and assess my risk. But now I'm much more informed on the testing locations and schedules so when I'm ready to try again, I'll know where to go. Step in the right direction.

Quick question I'm wondering about...

I now know kissing, mutual masturbation and frottage are no-risk activities. Kissing is no-risk period, frottage only can become a risk if you dip, only thing I'm wondering about mutual masturbation is if you get some pre-cum or sperm on a fresh cut by accident. Like if an hiv-positive male were to ejaculate on your chest or back and you had a some sort of cut like a pimple or cut. Still safe? From what I have learned, I would assume it's still no risk since transmission happens on the OUTSIDE of the body not inside.

Opps! Made a mistake, meant that transmission happens INSIDE of the body not outside.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hope you are doing well. I'm doing pretty good here. Last night had some safer sexual activity and although my precautions were high, just wanted to double check on aidsmeds I'm in the clear.

I stayed on the safe side so I kept it to open mouth kissing, mutual masturbation and recieving felatio.

I thought I was getting a cold sore on my tongue but think it was more of a scold from hot food. Either way, from what I have learned, open mouth kissing is NO RISK even if you have a cold sore or some abrasion in your mouth. (I saw no blood from his mouth) Mutual masturbation is also no risk as far as hiv transmission. He would masturbate himself and then me so I'm sure his precum was on my penis. That should be ok since that's all part of MM right?. He performed felatio on me for less than five minutes. Again, no risk if you recieve. And that was it.

I feel safe doing these activities. As far as what I have learned, I stayed in the no risk area correct? I already know the rules pretty good, just that this was a new incident and just wanted to double check with the experts.

You should know by now how this virus works. Unprotected sex is your only concern as I dont take you as one who would share a needle.

Please do re-read the lessons so you dont have to come here everytime you make out and masturbate with someone. It will be better for you in the long run.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Yes, I guess I do know how the virus works at this point, on an inteligence level anyway. I really haven't posted in a while and at this point, unless it will be some sort of intercourse question while using a condom, I'm done with any sort of questions regarding no risk situations. Thanks again aidsmeds.com. for all of your reassurance.

Is there really any correlation with high viral load/high triglycerides? It's not a suprise that I have high triglycerides since I've had high cholesterol off and on since college, and was diagnosed with fatty liver a few years ago, but I guess it makes me think oh great, I have high triglycerides. Somebody please tell me it means nothing as far as hiv transmission. (I wasn't looking up hiv symptoms, I was looking up high triglycerides to improve my levels and ran into that information.)

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Kind of anxious at the moment. Had to do a routine TB skin test for work. I don't know yet, might just be some skin bruising, but the result may be positive. I did have a light cough last year that lingered for a long time and wondered if it was TB. Now i'm scared that if I do test positive I might have hiv because the lessons says you should check if you have hiv if you have TB. Trying to keep logical here and am referring back to my no risk incident couple of years ago. Still, this is scary.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Understood and I appreciate the response Ann. Anxiety makes you easily forget that no matter what kind of symptoms or infections you may get, it's not going to change non-hiv transmission risks to possible risks. I apologize for re-posting, meant no disrepect and will appreciate the guidlines about re-posting over no risk situations.

I wasn't sure if it was best to just reply to my old message or post a new question. Either way, hope it's ok.

I was discussing hiv with a lesbian friend who is concerned about her girlfriend having multiple lesbian partners. From what I have learned, there really isn't anything she can perform sexually to be infected with hiv from her friend. I know that other STD's are possible but as far as cunnilingus, mutual masturbation, deep kissing and the use of strap-ons, none of these pose risks. The only part I was not able to respond to was when she asked, what if she is on her period, or that some fluids began to flow even before your period begins. I explained that I have not read such a situation and told her I would look it up. I would appreciate a general response on why transmission does not occur to the performing partner of cunnilingus. Does this change or not change even if a female is going through cycles?

The main sexual risk is unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse - all others are theoretical at best. the reason why lesbians have the lowest incidence of hiv in the world is because they generally do not engage in penile intercourse.

Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection. It's purely theoretical that a woman on her period would be any more likely to transmit the virus during cunnilingus. HOWEVER, please tell your friend to refrain from going down on women with their period - not because of hiv - but because of other, much more robust blood borne pathogens that might be present like hepatitis. Far more people in the world have hep than hiv.

Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect.

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from glands located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Usually if a student asks about HIV, I for the most part can give a researched, backed up answer that I've learn from this site.

Still, I couldn't really give the best risk level when asked about licking somebody's fresh blood. Students are being educated that it's a risk. I wanted to say that theoretically it probably is, but wanted to say that out of all documented cases, I don't think it ranks as the highest as far as transmission cases go. May I get your opinion on what would be the best answer to give besides just don't do it? Thank you. Cub

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Frankly, I would be more worried about hepatitis transmission when licking blood. But seriously? People ask you about licking blood? ~sigh~ People are strange.

Of course you should tell them not to do it. While I doubt very much that they could lick enough blood for it to be a risk for hiv infection (and other factors would have to be involved like poor oral health), there are other blood-borne viruses that are much more likely to be transmitted, should they be present.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you for responding Ann and apologies for starting a new thread. I have not posted in a while and forgot I had to do so.

Yes, middle school students do tend to ask the strangest questions at times and more right now since they are learning about STD's in science class this month. Thank you for your information, information understood.

One last thing, I quickly looked at some of my old responses and questions. I have to say that I'm a bit embarrassed for being so obsessive in the past about HIV infection. I must apologize. Still, thanks for being there with accurate information.