Guys & girls rights on abortions...

I think both people are equally responsible for producing a child/embryo whatever you'd like to call it. Do you think its alright for women to be able to terminate or keep the child/embryo when the guy has no choice? I think if it's both peoples responsibility both should have to be all in or against having a child? or if the guy doesn't want it and the girl should chose to have it the guy shouldn't have responsibilities? I bet its happen many of times where the girl aborts the child when the guy wanted it... let me know what you think?

Most Helpful Girl

Anonymous

I actually do find that wrong I think if 2 people make the choice to have sex and they end up pregnant The guy has JUST as much of a right as the women does. I hate that the guys don't have a choice *Im pro choice btw*

Honestly I disagree. I think that it is unfair that the guy can't carry the kid but he can walk away anytime and she can't. Plus he isn't the one who has to deal with constant sobriety, morning sickness, possible complications, crazy mood swings, giving labor, and eventually being totally messed up... down there

Guess she should have thought about that BEFORE having unprotected sex right? I mean really if you don't want to take that risk don't be stupid. PLUS women can walk away just as much as men can but women make the man pay child support when a women walks away the man normally doesn't go after them for child support

Forcing a girl to carry out a pregnancy against her will is worse than rape, hurts more than rape: rape lasts 'only' 15 minutes or so, a pregnancy 9 months, giving birth takes hours and is way more painful than any rape.

"I hate that the guys don't have a choice"

Do you hate also that the guys don't have a choice in having sex or not? That too is the girls decision.

The baby is HALF his he has JUST as much say as the girl and its so not worse then rape are you kidding me. OOOO 9months she can just then sign him over the baby and be back to life HE will always live with the fact that she TOOK his kid away from him I'm sorry which is worse? that's right the guys part. Who cares if its the womens body she shouldn't have sex unprotected if she didn't want him to have a say in this

What Girls Said 19

Okay, don't get me wrong, because I do understand this point of view, but let's talk about it. Completely ignore whether you believe abortion is right or wrong and consider for a minute that you're a woman, you're pregnant, and you do not want a baby (for whatever reason, you're too young/not mature enough to have a baby, you're not financially or emotionally stable to have a baby, you're not in a stable relationship with the person who impregnated you, whatever).

1. Pregnancy causes your body to go through a lot of changes. Weight gain (weight that might be very difficult to lose postpartum), your breasts grow (but when they go back to their original size, they skin is loose and so they're floppier), stretch marks on your stomach and breasts because of these changes, your vagina being stretched out and not returning to its natural pre-pregnancy state if you deliver vaginally, etc. Yes, these are superficial things so you might see it as selfish to think about them compared to the rights of the father, but consider this ALONG WITH the other things that I'm about to say, and also consider how this might affect your self-esteem, the way future sexual partners may view you when you're naked, your sexual pleasure (if you're "looser" after giving birth), etc.

2. You don't want the child, but you're forced to bond with it because its inside of you for 9 months. It's pretty hard to not bond with something that is alive and inside of you. This can cause a lot of emotional stress for you if you don't want to keep the baby.

3. Being pregnant can affect your life negatively. Morning sickness, heartburn/indigestion, fatigue, headaches, constipation, frequent urination, sore/swollen breasts, mood swings, swelling of your hands and feet, bloating, faintness, back pain, shortness of breath, etc. These things can affect your ability to do certain activities. You may have to leave your job in the last months of your pregnancy and may not be able to return right away after giving birth as you recover, which may cause financial burden on you as well.

4. Medical risks of pregnancy: preeclampsia (edema and increased blood pressure that can lead to headaches, dizziness, double vision, nausea, vomiting, and severe pain... which can lead to eclampsia (convulsions and coma)), pyelonephritis (kidney infection), gestational diabetes, hyperemesis gravidarum (excessive vomiting that leads to starvation, loss of water in the body, and an imbalance in bodily fluids), etc.

4. The pain and trauma of giving birth. Labour pains and delivering vaginally can be incredibly painful. Sometimes a c-section is required (pain after surgery, plus recovery time which prevents you from doing a lot of activities). Episiotomies or tearing from giving birth aren't that uncommon (a 4th degree laceration is one that tears through the vaginal wall, the submucosal tissues, the anal sphincter, and the rectal lining). I've also seen a woman tear the other way, all the way up to her clitoris (I'm a

nurse). And yes, there are drugs that a woman can take to help with the pain of labour/delivery, but not everyone wants to put these drugs into their bodies, and they come with their own set of risks (with epiderals and spinals, there is a risk of paralysis if a nerve is hit, or even death). Also consider hemhorroids (not as serious, but still not very nice) and hemhorraging that can happen during pregnancy, during labour/delivery, or after giving birth.

stillbirth. Even if the woman didn't want the baby, she may have still bonded with it, and delivering a dead baby can be very traumatizing. There's also the risk post-partum depression.

Some of these things are unavoidable things that a women will likely experience during pregnancy or during labour/delivery. Others are simply risks of varying degrees. I'm not saying that having a baby is a horrible thing. What I'm saying is that pregnancy can be very difficult on a woman physically and

emotionally, and this would likely be worse for a woman who does not want to have a baby and is being forced to go through all of this.

Now remember, you're thinking about this in terms of YOU going through all of this. You don't want a baby, but because the other person does, you have no choice but to go through all of this and to face these potential risks. Should someone else be able to force you to go through this and to take these risk? What's fair?

I understand there are many downsides to being pregnant. I didn't need to be told about every single downside to being pregnant. I'm not ignorant. I don't think I'm going to get anyone to see eye to eye on this. I understand it's terrible, but it's not terrible for the dad who has to work and be put on all that stress for the rest of his life? What if the dad knows he has a low sperm count and it was a random thing that she got pregnant? and he knows the chances of it happening are slim again?

If the woman chooses to abort, this likely isn't the man's only opportunity to have children. There are options such as adoption or sperm donors. Someone's desire to pass on their genes does not trump someone else's right to their own body, in my opinion.

But I realize that I didn't address this question fully. Obviously I do not think someone has the right to force someone else to have an abortion. So, should the man have to pay child support if he wants the woman to have an abortion but she

refuses? My initial concern with this is the idea that since it is the woman's choice to have an abortion or to carry the baby to term, many men who don't want to pay child support will say they wanted her to have an abortion and it was her choice not to. But for a woman who is pro-life, there is no choice. Most pro-life people believe abortion is murder---so its like saying your choice is between murder or dealing with the consequences of having a child on your own (when the pregnancy was a

That said, she does have a different choice---and that's whether she wants to raise the baby herself or to give it up for adoption. The question then becomes: If one parent wants to give the child up for adoption (and give up their rights as a parent) and the other doesn't, should they be allowed to? If the man says to the woman, "I think we should give this baby up for adoption" and then woman does not want to, then I think

I wasn't going to post, since I agree with almost everything seifishstars said. But I want to say that this is a common argument among certain "father's right's" groups who argue exactly what you argue: that men should either have a say in whether a woman has an abortion or not be liable for child support. Although at first this argument seemed meritorious, I realized that the "9 months in the womb vs. 18 years of child support" was a specious dichotomy. There is a fundamental difference between a threat to one's body, one's health, and one's life versus a threat to one's pocketbook. To put it in science terminology (god, I love analogies!): the two are not the same units of measure; it's like trying to say that 18 seconds is greater than 9 liters. This simply does not compute. Also, from a purely philosophical standpoint, any attempt to make a woman keep a child that the man wants but she does not essentially treats the female body as a human incubator, which in my opinion is rather dehumanizing to women.

That being said, I DO see merit to the argument that men should be able to have a "financial abortion"...and I am going to defer to seifishstars incredibly thoughtful and articulate explanation of how/why/under what circumstances that is appropriate.

If she is under-aged then an abortion is an understandable choice. But when a women chooses to have sex without protection she should accept the consequences. I agree that the baby is just as much his as it is hers and he should be part of the decision, but that should never be the law (that right could be abused or the women could try to abort the child them self) There shouldn't be laws for abortion, each situation should be handled separately, abortion should be done when it's absolutely necessary and both partners agree on the decision. Take some responsibility, own up to your actions.

I'm pro-choice, and I do think that the guy's opinion should matter in the choice of keeping the baby or not, but I also belive that it depends greatly on what the girl wants, because she will be the one carrying the baby for nine months. She will be the one that has the greatest changes in her diet, her activites, and schedual. If I was to get preganant now, not only would I have to change my diet and give up sports, but I would also give up time hanging with friends at games and after practices and such, while my boyfriend wouldn't. I think it defintally affects the girl more, and so more should be her choice.

He wouldn't have to give as much as me. He could continue with his sports, while I would have to stop what would be the thing to take me to college. He could hang with his friends after school an practice at the skatepark, I could sit at the side and watch, yes, but I wouldn't be having fun. He would be the cool guy at school who got into my pants, while I would be the whore wo it pregnant. And whose to say he would stay with me?

I think that she should considerate his opinion, even if she was planing an abortion, most of time, they think the guys will act like playing "doll house" and a child isn't that. But I truly think that he must have the right to speak and make his opinion clear.

If the girl wants to keep it, the guy of course has to have at least some responsibilities. So I agree on that both should share responsibilities.

If the guy wants to keep it and the girl not, then that's a tough situation. The problem is, even though the guy has a right to choose too, it's in the end up the the woman whether she keeps it or not. I mean, she can't be forced, nor should she be forced...

If they're in a relationship,but one of them is not ready for a kid,she'd most likely consider his opinion,but ultimately,she's the one having to carry the baby for 9 months and give birth to it, so I believe she has the right to say no to having so many changes going on with her body.

its the woman who sacrifices her body for the baby to grow for 9 mths so yeah I think she has the right to decide if she wants to keep it or not even though I personally would never have an abortion. I feel like I can't run other peoples lives

i think the man and woman should have a 50/50 divide. even though the woman carries the child the man still created the child too.

0

0|0

0|0

Anonymous

I think it is his decision as well, but he needs to pay since he does not have the same consequences.

If he wants to keep the embryo and she does not, he needs to pay...1.) Medical bills2.) Training for birthing3.) Extra for pain and burden of carrying the embryo for almost a year.

If he wants to abort the embryo and she does not, then...keep it. There is already one person that will want to care for it. And the woman is okay with going through the hospital bills and burden and pain of childbirth. I don't know if the man has to pay child support. I think that's only divorce.

0

0|0

0|0

Anonymous

I think a lot of people are forgetting the Supreme Courts reasoning for making it mostly a womans choice. Sure, it takes two to make a baby, but as I'm sure a lot of you have noticed, most teenage dads disappear after a few years.

The issue, more so with teenage pregnancies, is that these women have an entire life ahead of them. Going to school with a baby bump is hard, dropping out of school becomes a lot easier; you're seen as deviant, a sex fiend, irresponsible, etc. Then you have to care for the baby forever, which can stop you from pursuing a career or going to a major university for college. Men, on the other hand, aren't so easily spotted unless its a small town or if he makes it obvious, he'll stay in school, he'll go for a career, he could even go to college if he wanted to. Why? Because of gender roles.

The responsibility SHOULD be with both parents, but it's not. There is NO guarantee a boy will stay by his pregnant girlfriend, but the baby is guaranteed to come out- see the problem?

And guys today do have a choice, people have mouths, people make agreements; if a guy can make a woman feel secure enough, I guarantee you 9 out of 10 times she'll keep the baby. So to an extent, he does have a choice, not a legal one, but a choice nonetheless.

Does a mans opinion matter? YES. They should absolutely have a choice.

But having a 16 year old boy stick by his 16 year old pregnant girlfriend is statistically unlikely, especially when she goes through the last few months of a pregnancy, when the child is born, and almost ALL of the dads who stuck with them during the pregnancy take off when the child is 3-6 years old.

To impose a requirement of permission from the father is an undue burden. Maybe if society changed, and all the fathers stayed with their kids, that law might change. But until teenage dads take responsibility for their actions and change that overwhelming statistic, that law isn't going anywhere.

1

1|0

0|0

Anonymous

If its 50/50 on the choice and the guy should be able to just walk away in your opnion then so should the girl. If the guy wants it and the girl doesn't then she should be able to just have it and walk away. However if its a situation where the doc tells the girl because of your body (a problem or size) You have a higher rate of big complactions that can make you very ill with having a child or even death. If that happens but the guy still wants it. No I am sorry but then it should be the girls decision. In that case its her life on the line not his. In many cases too the guy can say yes I want it then after the abortion time period has past he can say no I don't want it then the girl is stuck with having the kid and rasing it on her own.

So sorry but I am glad its the girls decision.

0

0|0

0|0

Anonymous

I had an abortion and my boyfriend didn't want it (he also didn't tell me til after). But I am really torn, guys should have a weigh in the matter. But I didn't want the child, and I don't know what would have happened if he told me that before I did it.

I strongly believe it's only the girls choice for reasons the other guys and girls already expressed.

And honestly, it's public news that birth control only reduces chance of pregnancy, but there's always a slight chance, so if absolutley can't deal abort a child or keep it, don't have sex.

If you get pregnant unwanted, as a woman you can't win wether you abort or not. (I don't know out of a mens persepective, but effects on you guy of either choice are certainley not that big)

I can certainley see your point legally it's hard to realise, even if you would believe it's a two party decision. Think about. She wants it, he doesn't if they both equal right to decide there's never gonna be a decision. Same thing the other way around

1

1|0

0|0

What Guys Said 10

I think if the guy wants to take a crap through his urethra, then he can have a say what happens. I see what you mean though, when the it's the guy's kid and he has no say it does seem a bit unfair. Though it also seems drastically unfair that a lady would have to go through a pregnancy just because a guy, that could leave her at any given time, decided she should. Though to start with I don't agree with a large amount of the applications of abortions, so that's a whole other debate to get in to.

Well think about it dude, the guy isn't the one getting his vagina stretched to the size of a football. Also abortions aren't birth control, it's a major medical procedure that has a permanent damaging effect on the woman

Yes, in theory both people should have a part in any decision, but usually the woman makes the decision without consulting the guy. I agree, this doesn't seem quite fair, although in practice it's the woman who will have to raise the child most of the time.

I think you're insane to think it's a both party decision. It's a woman's choice, bro, at it's most liberative glance. Who carries the child for 9 forkin' months? The woman. Let it be her choice. If she wants to abort the bastard, then that's her right. You don't like it? Then go crying to Congress like a sissy for this is one avenue women should contain as theirs. We own the battlefield, so give them this much.

Why the name calling? Insane, sissy, bastard? You lose a lot of possible credibility when you use the language, you would think someone who is 32 would know this, and not be told this by someone 11 years younger.

You're the guy that goes into a department store cussing out the clerk because your shoes didn't fit right, like it's their fault. I deal with you guys all day at work, it's funny and sad, if you guys knew what you looked like.

that's funny, 903...your "definition" of maturity is delusional, thus it's a sign of your immaturity. And you're "pro-abortion". Your stupidity just keeps stacking up. You know what true maturity is? Perception. You lack it due to your limited experience and age. You can't put yourself in a woman's shoes and see things from her perspective. And that's what this is all about.

That's because killing a child in the womb is the same as killing a child out of the womb.

The arguments that people always give come down to "i don't want the baby" When I was 4 I got a baby brother. I didn't want him. Did I have the right to kill him? Of course not. Why do you apply the same logic to the unborn?

The rule that decides whether something is alive is that they must have all the functions of life, Namely

1. responsiveness

2. adaptability

3. growth

4. reproduction

5. movement

6. metabolism

7. absorption

8. respiration

9. excretion

The unborn meet all these. They also have human parents. Which means they will not become a different species. Thus they are a living human. Killing a living human without just cause is murder. MURDER IS EVIL.

Who do you think was the most evil person ever. Most people will say Hitler because he began a terrible genocide.

What is Genocide? The systematic (millions killed every year using basic and universal procedures) elimination (they have little chance of survival) of an undesired (I don't want the baby) defenseless (they cannot make their own choice or fight back) specific people group (the unborn)

Suppose a Mother had a baby and decided after he was 5 that she didn't want him anymore. Under Abortion Logic she should be allowed to.

There is always another option for any mother. Adoption is the best one if you can't take care of them.

Also other than rape, YOU made the choice to have sex. That was the mistake. Before you have sex always make sure you are ready for the consequences. I personally don't advocate Pre-martial sex

Here are a list of famous people who were adopted instead of aborted: Some more important than others But all made their mark on some part of the world

Regardless of your opinions on abortion or the one-ness of the fetus with the female body, no one can deny that the female is the carrier and the final say is hers in the end. That's just my two cents.

I think a man should have the right to divorce himself of all responsibilities/rights with the child if he does not want the child. It is flat out wrong to force him to make child support payments for 18yrs for a child he did not want.

Are you carrying a child inside you for 9 months? I'd say it's more of the woman's decision, because although both people had an "equal" participation in the production, the man doesn't play any role afterward as far as caring for the child until birth.