Novelist Claims Melania Trump Has Been F**king A Tiffany’s Security Guard For YEARS (PHOTO)

Poor Melania Trump. She didn’t ask for any of this, did she? Girlfriend just brought her pretty arse to the good ole’ USA (some say illegally) and married her a rich guy, hoping to forever live the good life, and now she’s stuck right in the middle of being the most high profile woman in the world.

This isn’t what she wanted, is it? Or is it…?

To tell you the truth, I’ve kind of felt sorry for her at times. She’s clearly in an unhappy (maybe emotionally abusive) relationship with a pathological narcissist.

No woman deserves to have to share Donald Trump’s sweaty stinky bed (sorry for the visual but if I’ve got it in my head, you should have it too, only fair!), regardless of the fact that she thinks it’s cute to pretend to eat valuable jewelry.

But I STOPPED feeling any sympathy for her once I found out that she planned to whore out the role of First Lady to sell products, as we reported in February:

“Plaintiff had the unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, as an extremely famous and well-known person…to launch a broad-based commercial brand in multiple product categories, each of which could have garnered multi-million dollar business relationships for a multi-year term during which plaintiff is one of the most photographed women in the world.”

Yes, that’s a little hard to swallow, even for a sweet and gentle bleeding heart f*cking liberal like me.

Novelist and playwrightMonica Byrne is making BOMBSHELL accusations that America’s First Not-A-Lady and Donald Trump’s Third Lady is screwing the head of security at Tiffany’s in Trump Tower. I screengrabbed her series of tweets before she gets sued and has to take them down.

And if that’s him in the pic, hubba hubba! No wonder she CAN’T STAND for her gross pasty hubby to touch her. Watch the hand-slap felt by every guy around the world who’s ever been rejected.