Follow Two and a Half Men

Berta: What's this broad got that's so special?Charlie: A brain.Berta: What are you going to do with a brain?Charlie: It doesn't matter, she'll never call me.Berta: Awww! Don't talk like that. Just because she's smart and successful doesn't mean she's not damaged enough to go out with you.

Linda: Please, tell me you did not get yourself arrested just so you can see me?Charlie: Ummm! You got me.Linda: Charlie, what am I going to do with you?Charlie: Have dinner with me? Otherwise, we're looking at a crime spree here.Linda: Alright, one dinner. Now, step back.Charlie: (whispering) Yes, ma'am.Linda: How do you plead?Charlie: Guilty, your Honor.Linda: Is this your first offense?Charlie: Yes, your Honor.Linda: Alright, $500.Charlie: $500? Last time....Linda: "Last time?"Charlie: Thank you, your Honor.