Life Should Mean Life, Not Adam and Steve!

I never did understand the expression “Hanging’s too good for ’em.” The way I see it, hanging’s good enough for pretty near everybody, yours truly included.

Because if we’re honest I’m sure we’ve all done at least one thing in our days that deserves the ultimate penalty.

At least under Victorian law, which is still head and shoulders above our Charter of Frights bullcrap. Like Grandma Little used to say, “May as well be hung for a sheep as a goat.” And she was at that.

Everyone knows the crime rate’s goin’ down, so it’s real smart of Mr. Harper to get extra tough on it before crime disappears altogether.

And if he hasn’t been able to put enough commonsense judges on the bench yet to see a construction boom in the depressed gallows industry, the least he can do is the absolute most permissible under the law, especially if he has to write a new law to do it.

So yes, I’m okay with lockin’ up folks for life, though throwin’ away the key seems awful wasteful. Surely they could be reused as jailhouse nicknacks to taunt the prisoners just outta their reach.

The guards have a thankless job, so whatever breaks the drudgery. Besides, if we’re gonna foot the bill for the rest of the prisoners’ natural lives we might as well have some fun with ’em.

Mr. Harper says there are some folks what shouldn’t be on our streets, and of course he’s right. I know for a fact I’d enjoy our streets a helluva lot more without most folks on ’em.

Let’s start with the murderers and terrorists, sure, but if they don’t soon move on to hobos and cyclists they’ll have squandered a golden opportunity.