My weeny merguez, resting flaccidly on couscous, franked the inoffensiveness form, while another, fatter nine quid banger, "the Beaujolaise" – an amalgam of pork, mushroom, onion and bacon – seemed less a sausage than a loose coalition struggling to coexist amicably under the one skin.

As I sit nervously wondering how things will pan out down Ealing way I am still riven with disappointment that “Mock The Week” which started so well has now drooped flaccidly into bashing the Conservatives and the Monarchy in lieu of a” Muvver in Law “.

Bush-apologists responded rather flaccidly to both of these memes (probably because refuting two tracks simultaneously doesn't make for good soundbytes), arguing that there would be time for apportioning blame later.