Making Waterslides Cool Again One Loop At a Time

June 10, 2008

For a long time the Germans had a monopoly on fear, as far as the civilized world was concerned. However, for the past sixty years the country has become largely known for its liberal politics and green philosophy. Only recently has Germany begun to reclaim its right to inspiring fear in law-abiding citizens, and it has done so with a terrifying new water slide that sends you through a loop of aquafied horror.

You begin in a standing position, then drop vertically as the trap door you're standing on falls away, insuring the maximal caliber of terror. The looped section of the water slide isn't a completely vertical circuit, but canted a bit on its side. Somehow I doubt this reduces much of the bowel-loosening panic.

So, ok. The Germans brought us a couple world wars and a really long, fruitless cold one. But you know what? They also brought us one hell of a water slide, and that counts for something.