Husband should seek help

Amy Dickinson Ask Amy

Dear Amy: Last month, I caught my husband chatting online with one of our son's friends from school, a 15-year-old girl who has a crush on our son.

My husband was pretending to be our son online. He admitted that he and the girl had been chatting for more than a year, but he said that it was harmless.

I was furious, as was our son, who does not even like this girl. I told the girl what was going on.

My husband has started seeing a counselor, and we will soon be starting joint counseling to work on issues in our marriage. He no longer goes online.

Two weeks ago, this same teenage girl asked my husband to be her adult partner for a religious activity over Christmas. It will involve them standing together at church.

The girl's father told my husband that he thought it was a great idea, but these parents know nothing about the online activities over the past year.

My husband told this family that he would participate in this, and then he told me about it the next day. I'm furious.

I asked him to discuss it with his counselor, which he did. The counselor told him that it was an opportunity for healing and that he should do it.

I have asked and begged him not to do this, but he said he already gave his word to this family. He says that I am simply trying to control him.

What do you think? -- Worried Sick

Dear Worried: This is wrong on many levels. Mind you, I am not a counselor, but I do have a shred of common sense. Your husband's behavior sounds predatory.

The fact that you and your husband have chosen to keep the girl's parents in the dark about this yearlong chatting session tells me that you both know what he did isn't exactly harmless. They should be told.

Your husband has a problem. He needs to admit what he has done, apologize and get help. Unlike what his counselor seems to think, staying away from this teenager, staying off the Internet and committing to counseling is your husband's best opportunity for "healing."