FICTION: THE STREET TRIBUNAL.

‘The idea that you would even think of such an outlandish accusation is preposterous.’

‘Oga abeg stop all that grammar, pull your Shokoto now’

Brian stares angrily at the pack of riffraff surrounding him. He is at least 6inches taller than the tallest of the lot, his impressive frame clad in just the pants of his Armani suit. Behind gold-rimmed reading glasses, his intimidating eyes glare furiously at each one of the hooligans, finally resting on their leader, who barks out again.

‘Oga I say commot your shokoto’

‘Abi make we commot am for you?’ another one of the area boys says and with a flick of his finger, he expertly removes Brian’s Rolex from his wrist.

‘Can I have that back please? And my iPhone? If you would just let me finish the call I was making…’

‘I have told you countlessly, I do not have her phone, You have searched my pockets, why on earth do I have to take off my trousers?’

One of the touts turns angrily to their leader,

‘Tiger, free us make me arrange this guy na, if you don let us sama im body since, he for don know how far.

Obviously beginning to lose his patience, Tiger says to Brian,

‘Oga, if my babe talk say you tief her phone, then you tief her phone. I just dey respect you because I see say you be big man. But if you no commot your trouser now…’

Something in the tone of his words sends a slight chill down Brian’s spine.

He slowly takes off his pants and hands it over to one of the touts who flips it over, emptying the pockets of its contents.

An American Express Platinum card, a gold coated money clip with several dollar bills, and a bunch of keys with a Mercedes Benz remote attached, all tumble out on the black tarred floor.

Standing in just his boxers, in the middle of a busy Lagos street, in the midst of a scruffy crowd, Brian’s eyes beg for compassion from the onlookers. He remembers the case of the ALUU 4 students, accused of stealing and burnt to death by a mob years ago. He breaks into a sweat. This can’t be happening.

‘Look, I am obviously not in possession of her phone. If you will just…’