A Year of Becoming

Each year I try to get a sense of what this year will bring and try to give it a theme. A word to hold onto when, maybe, things get hard. Maybe you do this to? I know lots of people have their word for the year. Last year, I felt my word was “Renewal.”

The first few weeks of January were kind of a blur. We were quickly approaching our one-year anniversary of losing our daughter and I just felt stuck in time. I revisited the intense grief that struck me in the hospital when we got confirmation we had lost her. Those days were a blur and I didn’t start coming out of the fog again till just after passing the year mark. And I began to feel this sense of becoming.

be·com·ing

the process of coming to be something or of passing into a state

This 'becoming' process has been so hard and yet so incredibly beautiful. I’m starting to wonder about life and I’m getting curious about God and his love for his people. For the first time in my life I actually think I’m becoming more like who I was created to be.

I can’t wait to see how more of this year brings forth more of my authentic self that, for so long, I let be silenced by fear, rejection, and the wrong beliefs about myself and the world.

...

becoming.

Something deep down inside of me that’s always been there.

I’m becoming more of that.

My soul is connected to my mind, body, and spirit. I’m becoming more whole and finding belonging even in my wilderness and wandering.

I am becoming.

...

And I think so much of this process has been able to truly blossom and grow because I’ve disconnected from one source that was taking more than it was giving and connected to another that is giving life and producing something I’m not yet sure of. But I know it’s something, I can feel it.

It's already been almost 2 months since our newest member, Wilde Hope, came onto the scene. She's already changed and grown so much since her birth and we're trying to soak up all these precious tiny days with her.