With dd I was pretty uneducated and had a caesarean. I didn't know about all the ways you could try and turn a baby and my OB would only consider a c-section.
That said I still have thoughts I should just do a repeat this time. Its scary to go into something unknown. Something I know will be very painful.
At least with the c-section they give you lots of drugs and you don't feel much. And I know what to expect because I've done it before.
I have to keep telling myself that I really don't want a c-section. That I don't want to go through it again but more importantly don't want my baby to have the possible complications. I don't want to birth in a hospital.

I suppose I am simply fearing the unknown. I love the idea of homebirth but its the reprogramming of my mind from all the birth fear I've been fed. And all the ideas I have about what birth is and where it should take place.
The idea of "breaking the rules" is daunting and a little scary.

That's too bad you had a c-section, I had a homebirth the first time and it was amazing, you should do some reading on the dangers of c-section and about vbac (vaginal birth after c-section). My mw has delivered many vbac at home. If I were you I'd start interviewing some midwives and see if you find any that you like. Then you can ask them all about their experiences with vbac.

After having a vaginal birth I can't imagine having a c-section. My mw says that it is MAJOR abdominal surgery, most people don't realize the risks of it and most doctors don't tell you. For them it is the safest way to deliver because they are in control of the situation.

I can't comment on c-sections myself because I haven't had one, but all I can say is do your body and your baby a favour and look into having a vaginal birth, I'm sure you won't regret it. It's an amazing experience.

Just to enlighten you, I had 2 c-sections, but had some labor with the second one. The afterpains I experienced with the second one were just as bad as the labour pains I had had. So you won't escape pain by having a c-section, not to mention the increased risk of infection, which is also painful and the longer recovery time while trying to look after 2 children is also very painful. Yes birth may be more painful, but it is short term pain and is over soon after the baby is born. My DD#2 is 9 months old and I am still in pain some days from the c-section. i hope this gives you some perspective to help you make a decision.

I am fully aware of the dangers and discomforts of a c-section. I used to be uneducated but not anymore. I've read all the books. Have a supportive midwife for a HBAC.

I am discussing the fear surrounding birth by being put into this position of a "dangerous" vaginal delivery. For me its scary to think of having a normal labor and delivery because I've not done it before. And it seems like having a c-section is the easy way out. But perhaps that's just me and no one else has had these thoughts.

I can see why you'd be afraid. Giving birth is scary. Labor and birth is when you touch the edges of yourself, it is a place close to death, and most importantly for you, it is the unknown. I would encourage you to explore and write (if you do that) or talk extensively about these feelings. Find where they come from, what they're roots are. I'd check out the book Birthing From Within. There's another book that I can't think of right now that walks through the emotional aspects of pregnancy. I'll try to find the title.

Remember though that cesarean is dangerous to you and to your child. The risk of maternal death is much greater with major abdominal surgery. It's not the easy way out as it seems. Somehow you need to convince this part of you that wonders of that.

More importantly, you need to explore your thoughts and find out why you would want to not take that route. It's the only way you'll get beyond the fear. Your body was made to birth. It puts you in touch with yourself and your child in a wholly unique way. You can do it. It is hard, but it is a challenge I'm sure you can meet.

I have had one vaginal with epidural and too many interventions, and one c-section because the baby was supposed to be 11lbs. (he was only 8'14" just like his sister that I had vaginally.) After experiencing both of those, I want a VBAC, and I want to try to do it naturally this time. I too am more educated. I don't know how I feel about homebirth and there are no birth centers near us though. I will be looking for a midwife though.

I know it is daunting, Megan, but just think how happy and proud you will be when you have this baby vaginally! Since when are any of us eager to "go with the crowd"? I know you will be able to do it!

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I am sorry Amarasmom if I came across harshly, it was not intended that way. I guess my own pain from failing to deliver vaginally tends to seep through when I write about this. I am unsure about something you posted in your reply: you said that you are worried about having a risky vaginally birth (not exact words, sorry), but also that you have educated yourself this time, so then I must assume that you are aware that VBAC is the less risky of these birth options. Please correct me if I have misunderstood.

I completely understand your fear of the unknown, it is the greatest fear we as humans possess, but is vaginal birth really an unknown? In my opinion this is a matter of perspective. Women have been giving birth forever and I believe that the ability to birth is innate. It is a knowledge borne in our genetic design. It is a thing to trust in, just as a baby trusts in their ability to walk as they let go of mother's hand and take those first teetering steps.

I also believe though, that the right choice for you is just that, the choice that is right for you. If you do not feel safe enough to attempt a vaginal delivery, then perhaps your instincts are trying to warn you of something. Birth is instinctual by nature and sometimes our instincts tell us that we cannot do it the way it is meant to be done. Trust yourself no matter what decision you make, but don't make your decision out of fear, make it out of your trust in yourself.

Perhaps a trial of labour would be a comfortable option for you. You could have the satisfaction of attempting vaginal delivery, with the security of the "known" available if necessary.