If you had to eat one thing for breakfast for the rest of your life, what would it be? For me, though I love love love oats of any shape or form with ALL THE TOPPINGS, and I love sweet green smoothies because they’re the bomb, my answer would have to be… blueberry muffins. Juicy, sweet blueberries suspended in fluffy, light morsels of tender cakey clouds. All things perfect. Seriously, if I could eat blueberry muffins everyday for breakfast, I would be happy. Just bam. They’re awesome. Problem is, the only good blueberry muffin is an unhealthy one – right? NOOO! Not so. The perfect blueberry muffin should be like a cloud of light, fluffy awesomeness. And sparkling sugar on top is a must. And you shouldn’t even be able to tell the difference between the healthy one in your hand and the ones in bakery under the glass like edible diamonds. We’re so gonna rock this.

So, I’ve never been much into chocolate. I mean, don’t get me wrong/freak out — I’ve always liked chocolate a lot. Obviously. But not until recently have I been like “OMG. CHOCOLATE.” Seriously, what is that? Imbalanced hormones? Too much hemp protein? You think I’m kidding but I’m not. I need more herbal tea and BROWNIES. And seriously, if you’re anything like me (and the rest of the human race) when you want brownies, you want them like, now. Hence the reason why so many people will reach for a box of Betty Crocker and those handy ever-present unhealthy add-ins. (Except for water — that’s not unhealthy. Yet.) But pleeeease don’t. Betty Crocker is owned by Monsanto — in case you didn’t know — and you can make your own healthy brownies for far less guilt. See? Everything’s going to be okay. And we’re going to use up some of that leftover almond pulp from your last batch of homemade almond milk, so yay. Win win win. (If you’re an almond milk drinker and you don’t already make your own almond milk, YOU MUST. Okay? Just.. don’t go buy that stuff in the carton. At least not without looking at the ingredients. Can I scare you?)

Do you seriously know how long I have been procrastinating on this blog post? I mean SERIOUSLY? You would think that someone who sits at her dining room table cutting tiny diamond shapes out of strips of wax paper would have a little bit more to say than this, but… she doesn’t, to be quite honest. At least we can talk about cake. But first we’ll talk about stencils, because you’re probably feeling a little confused after that last sentence. See all the pretty stuff going on with this cake? Do they make stencils for that kind of thing? Because I made some myself. Oh well too late move on.

Now that is one loaded post title. Sorry guys, this isn’t even a legit recipe I know I’m freaking you out. But not really. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, can someone say “I can’t believe it’s already 2015?” Crazay stuff, people. It’s weirding me out. But let’s not dally. Let’s celebrate! It’s been a fantastic year for me (full of life’s ups and downs and stellar moments) and I hope that the same goes for you. Congratulations on all that you’ve done and all that you’re about to tackle in this coming new year. Mwah! Here’s a list of the most popular recipes of Needs Salt! Thank you all so much for your incredible support, you make my life. Seriously. Like, you actually do. You’re so awesome.

You know that moment when you’re completely snowed in and you need to make something because it would just be a sin to not turn on the oven but whaaat do I maaake because we don’t have any food! And now we can’t go to the store. So yay. OR OR OR, it’s even worse when it’s 7:30 at night and somehow you were petitioned to make dinner and there’s just nothing to eat. Ever. Or you’re just completely sucked dry of any and all inspiration at the moment and Pinterest is most certainly NOT helping and you just… let’s face it — you kind of just wanna break something. These are real feelings, people. Real things that happen to this real person. Now let’s just ignore how many times I used the word “just” in that last paragraph. Let’s talk about pie.

DECEMBER IS HERE. And the misery* has returned. (Those two events are connected.) Seriously though, why does.. it… just… You know something? I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT TIME AND WEATHER. Whyyyy do I do this? Do I seriously have nothing else to say to you guys? Man, that’s pretty sad. Because I think of stuff — I really do. But then when it comes time to actually sit down and write a blog post, I’m like… “So. Cold out.” It’s dumbbb. I’m dumb. Wait. What were we talking about? Oh yeah. How I just feel awkward bringing up the idea of making smoothies when you’re all chugging your peppermint mochas and Christmas cookies and stuff? (probably not chugging Christmas cookies… okay sorry. that sounded weird.) But let’s pretend that this isn’t out of place. After all, this is the time of year when most people tend to catch a bug here and there. And as everyone knows, there’s nothing quite a like a head cold to totally cheer you up on Christmas morning. Also, nobody will want to eat your cookies. What a travesty. So what you gotta do? STAY HEALTHY, yo.

You know those days when you wake up and you’re absolutely, irrevocably, 100% determined to make ALL THE THINGS? And nothing can or will stop you. Kind of like on Thanksgiving, but not. Because this is just a random Wednesday morning and you have IDEAS. All of a sudden, you’re flooded with all this recipe inspiration. Stuff that maybe you’ve been subconsciously saving up all week, just to torture yourself. I mean when you think about it, thrusting yourself elbow-deep in pie crust, failed hummus and experimental cupcakes could definitely be perceived as a brutal form of self-harm.