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27 September 2008

Usual Software Problems

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soonnoticed that the new program began unexpected child processing thattook up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and nowmonitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night10.3 ,Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7. 5 , and Golfing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting torun my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,

Troubled User.....

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REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about Wife 1.0.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking thatit is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is anOPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It isalso impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 .. Itis impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed tonot allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/ ChildSupport . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving thesituation. I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear'to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE!because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before thesystem will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance .Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean andSweep 3.0 ,Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper usewill cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once thishappens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchaseadditional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary WithShort Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 andwill cause irreversible damage to the operating system!