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Issue #42, 12/9/2006

The New Spartan Warrior

By Glenn CampbellFamily Court Philosopher

In ancient Greece, economy was represented by the
citizen-soldiers of Sparta, who lived only to fight. Each of
them, it is said, owned nothing but his sword. Let us hope
for the sake of decency that he also owned a loincloth, or
at least rented one for important battles, but the point is,
those Spartan dudes were very disciplined and efficient and
didn't bother themselves with unnecessary vanities.

In the modern world, one can also be Spartan, but you need
more than just a sword. You probably also need a medical
plan and an internet connection. What you don't need is 99%
of the stuff that modern capitalist propaganda says you need.
Living up to the Spartan ideals means cutting the fat
and reducing life to its essentials.

What are the essentials? They are the things that we need
not only to survive but to remain productive in modern
society. Pain doesn't have to be part of the equation. You
can be Spartan and still be reasonably comfortable and
connected with the world. Self-deprivation is not the
primary goal. The essential elements of the Spartan way are
economy, efficiency and freedom from distraction.

Thoreau built his cabin in the woods and thought he had
things worked out. He said you need food, shelter, clothing,
heat and, of course, books. Today, we would have to expand
that list. For example, it is hard to get by in the modern
world without some form of transportation, by which you can
venture forth to the supermarket and capture your evening
meal. You also need money to pay for the meal and some sort
of economic activity to generate the money.

Even if you live on the fringes of society and cut your
needs to the bone, your society still lays some requirements
on you. You can't drop out completely without alarming your
family, and you have to pay your taxes and renew your
driver's license. Being Spartan doesn't mean you have to
lose all contact with your fellow man, just manage it
better, so it isn't always pummeling you with demands.

The Essentials

Below are the Spartan essentials as I understand them,
moving from the concrete to the more abstract. I have left
out only air to breath, a planet to live on and a place to
pee, because these things are assumed.

Obviously, you need food and water. The food
can be simple: a varied diet that meets your nutritional
needs but that doesn't make you fat. Taste need not be
ignored, but it is important to remember the true purpose of
food: to give you the energy to keep going and the building
blocks for a healthy body. Once it passes your tongue, all
food turns into tasteless mush anyway, so you might as well
fuel up with things that are both cheap and nutritious. The
New Spartan eats only when he is hungry and his body is
telling him to. Otherwise, there are better things to do
than munch on donuts.

"Water" means just that—water. You can also drink
juice, milk and soda, but when it gets to your
stomach, it's all the same mush. What matters is the total
nutritional, caloric and hydrating value, not how it got there.

Every warrior needs clothing. Nakedness can be
uncomfortably cold much of the year, and in modern society
it is forbidden anyway. If you wish, you can throw yourself
against this cultural hypocrisy, but I'm telling you that
it is far more practical to just put something on and not
cause a ruckus. Whatever you wear should be simple,
practical and low-maintenance. You don't have to be a
fashion plate. The first goal of clothing is protection from
the elements and the second is to be unobtrusive, not
presenting any image that conflicts with your chosen social
role. If someone you met in the morning is unable to recall
in the afternoon what you were wearing, then you have
dressed appropriately.

You need a safe place to sleep. Sleep, it appears,
is a physiological requirement of the body. You can wander
around the city all day long, but when night falls you have
to "be somewhere," knowing that this mysterious
unconsciousness is bound to overtake you. During sleep, you
need more warmth and greater protection from the elements
than when you are awake. You also need protection from
thieves and predators who would take advantage of you while
you are unconscious.

In prior ages, a place to sleep would be called
"shelter," which usually meant a fixed piece of enclosed
real estate for one family's exclusive use. There is no
reason that the Spartan should feel restricted by this
label. You need a "safe place to sleep"—that's all.
Thoreau points out that a coffin-size railroad box would do
the trick. I observe that a slightly larger space is
necessary, as you need to be able to turn over at night. You
need padding and warmth, but you don't have to check into the
Hilton.

During the day, you need a workspace to do whatever
it is a warrior does. The nature of this workspace depends
on what your mission is. To the ancient Spartan,
his place of business was the battlefield, but he also
needed a place to train and at least sharpen his sword between
wars. Your own workspace could be the same place you sleep,
but this isn't necessary. If your field is knowledge and you
work on a computer, than your workspace can be almost anywhere
protected from the elements.

In the modern world, you need a secure storage space,
because it is not yet possible to be entirely free of
"stuff." Everyone has possessions—at least clothing
they are not currently wearing, food they haven't eaten yet and
printed records that can't be thrown away. Again, your
storage space can be the same as your sleeping space, but it
doesn't have to be so. To the true Spartan, this space
required should be small, as he only has the sword and a
few pieces of armor to put away.

Every modern warrior who regularly interacts with other
humans must be concerned about hygiene—that is,
he needs an opportunity to bathe, clean his teeth and attend
to other personal maintenance. One shouldn't allow ones body
to become too rank, as this can become a barrier to social
relations.

Any modern warrior shouldn't go long without a
medical plan. It may be honorable to die on the field
of battle, but what if you are only wounded? You don't want
to just lie there and bleed to death when you can possibly
recover and fight again. You need Blue Cross or something.

Most warriors needs some form of transportation, at
least to get them to and from the battlefield. A horse is
okay but not terribly utilitarian nowadays. You'd be better
off feeding a motorbike or a small foreign automobile. The
subway is good but doesn't always get you where the battle
is. You need to think this one through. You want the right
equipment for the job.

A Spartan needs communication so he can coordinate
with other warriors and bone up on the latest slaughtering
skills. Ancient Greece didn't have the internet or cell
phones, but if it did, you can guarantee that every soldier
would be using them. It always helps, in any battle, to
have as much relevant information as possible.

However, you don't want to get all fat and flabby with too
much superfluous information. This is a major danger in the
modern world. (See Data Obesity and
The End of Rumination.) Like
food, you want only the information that is nutritious and
sufficient to the task. You don't want mental junk
interfering with your clarity of mind.

Sadly, the modern Spartan needs money to pay for all
of the preceding. Unless Daddy left you with a wad, you are
probably going to have to get a job or engage in some
other form of economic activity to supply your coffers. This
is unpleasant business, as you may have to do someone else's
will or support goals that you don't entirely believe in.
Nonetheless, this distasteful activity is necessary to at
least pay for your sword and loincloth.

It is easy to be seduced by the money-making game,
especially after you start becoming successful at it. Please
remember, however, what the real coin of the realm is: It is
not money, but time. There's not much point in making a
million dollars if you are almost dead by the time it
happens. One of the aims of the Spartan lifestyle is to free
yourself of unnecessary servitude to the economic system, so
that you have more of your time to use as you wish.

A warrior also needs social relations. You can live
alone on an island for a while, but sooner or later, you
have to come ashore. To achieve any meaningful goal, you
have to interact with your fellow man and/or woman. You
were born into a society, and in the long term there is no
living without it. Otherwise, you won't just be sleeping
with your sword; you'll be talking to it, caressing it and
perhaps even inviting it to cut you.

Finally, every warrior has to have a mission. In
ancient Sparta, the mission was clear: You followed orders.
In the modern world, we rarely have it so easy. How should
you best use your warrior skills? There is no simple answer.
Finding your mission is half the battle in life. You need
only know now that there has to be one; it has to push you
to your limit, and it has to be meaningful beyond your own
temporary existance.

This mission, in turn, is going to require certain essential
tools: a sword if you are fighting battles, a computer if
you are writing, and an arc if you a transporting a large
number of animals. There is no fixed spending limit when a
Spartan needs tools. It is a matter of what the tool can do
for his mission and how much it is worth in the long run.
Always, of course, he is economical, acquiring only the
essential aids and nothing more.

Marching To War

Whether or not he yet has a mission, the New Spartan should
be guided by economy—economy of body, economy of activity,
and economy of mind. He eliminates the fat wherever it can be
found. He tries to identify his own natural skills, and he
hones them. He looks for what is truly important in life,
and he distills it.

The warrior must not be waylaid by the superfluous. No
silly, frilly, girlie things for this Spartan, no sir! No
sentimental attachments. No entangling alliances. Just the
mission.

And there will be no daydreaming about silly, frilly, girlie
things either. Snap out of it!

Reader Comments

“Are you still living the spartan life (?)-- any new insight into how it's going would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!”
—Billy Ray Chen-Liu 3/9/07 (rating=2)

“Mildly entertaining, although it would be better with more on actual spartans (who would be more likely to use spears), include some better examples, and how about being a mercenary?, wouldn't that be a modern day spartan?”
— 5/5/07 (rating=3)

“too unbalanced to be a direct answer to modern life. However, the core of this idea is useful”
—an interested disciple 5/13/07 (rating=2)

“you know you could just buy either a bow, a spear a knife or a gun (or all of them its really your choice) and kill for your food...that would take down alot of what you need...although admittedly money would be good if the animals ever turn against you and hunt you down...”
—Reyn Campbell 5/15/07 (rating=3)

“most people do not know that spartan life is more than just war. it was absolute loyalty to the state- loyalty to the death. Spartans were born to serve the state, and if they were not capable of doing so, then they were left to die as babies. Spartans did not give up possessions to make their lives simpler, but because such things are of no use to Sparta. Only at age 30 were they allowed the priveledge of owning property. The point is, someone thought they knew about living life, but he doesn't. He also thought he knew about being a warrior, but he does not. The Spartans follow a code shared by the samurai, as well as many others- service. Those who serve others before themselves will have a meaningful life, and those who lay down their lives for others will be honored and remembered. That is the way of the Spartan. And by the way, Achilles was not a Spartan. He was from southeast Thessaly. If it is a Spartan hero you wish, try King Leonidas. If anyone has questions, send them to emesa28@hotmail.com.”
—Eric Mesa 5/19/07 (rating=1)

“I agree with the others -- get a picture of someone in classical Spartan panoply. And what's with the picture of Achilles on a freaking CELL PHONE? Other than that,pretty good article.”
—Spartan198 3/25/08 (rating=4)

“Its good, but no fighting. Its good for the average person”
—Excessum 4/20/08 (rating=3)

“è mitiko”
—kikka 5/17/08 (rating=5)

“Well that sucked.”
—A Spartan 6/9/08 (rating=1)

“achilles was not spartan”
— 2/20/09 (rating=0)

“Very nice :)”
—Half-god 3/21/09 (rating=4)

“wtf?”
—SmarterThanYou 4/17/09 (rating=0)

“I think you are a futuistic pussy, as a sosldier myself I know the true meaning of sacrifice and you truely do not. You need to really join something better than youself and i stress the fact better than yourself become something truley better than you! and you may know true greatness”
— 6/22/09 (rating=1)

“rah blah mufah ghala”
—meufrablablah 6/24/09 (rating=1)

“I don't know what all these other people are thinking, but this is pretty good description of what a 'spartan' lifestyle should be like; economical. It's not about actual Spartan lifestyle... fools, go pick up a dictionary.”
—halcyin 8/10/09 (rating=3)

“Don't listen to these negative haters. It's great that Spartan ideas/ideals are being 'put out there.' GOOD JOB.”
—El Todopoderoso 9/8/09 (rating=3)

“nice and good”
—al-nidzfar imdani 12/6/09 (rating=4)

“Achilles wasn't a spartan. You aren't a spartan. This is crap.”
—Annoyed Googler 6/20/10 (rating=0)