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Pre-Bar Exam: Good Odds

There are so many will they/won’t they news stories to argue over this week, it’s like you don’t even need a casino in Massachusetts, because you could place your bets on the bottle bill, Scotland’s independence vote, the governor’s race and you could start a pool for how many more oopsies Joe Biden will make by Sunday. No idea what any of that means? That’s OK! We’ll give you the rundown before you crawl out from your rock and hit the bars this weekend … but you have to decide on the odds yourself.

Joe Biden put his foot in his mouththree times in 24 hours, managing to suggest we’ll deploy ground troops to Iraq, and pissing off both Jews and Asians. It’s campaign season and he’s a busy man, but even for Biden, this many gaffes has got to be a new record.

President Barack Obama’s plan to train and equip Syrian rebels made the House go topsy-turvy on Wednesday, with Republicans supporting the president more than his own party, and Nancy Pelosi looking downright hawkish. It’s like a bizarro version of 2003 all over again. No one could have predicted that spread!

Four New Englanders have received MacArthur “genius” grants, including cartoonist Alison Bechdel. This should surprise no one familiar with the region’s intellectual heft and bulging big brains, but it’s a good reminder to hedge your bets at the bar tonight by saying, “I’m not a certified genius or anything, but …” You never know who will be sitting next to you at the bar.

The state ballot will include an environmentalism-supported expansion of the state’s recycling policy, which would add a five-cent deposit to water, juice, and soda bottles. The opposition campaign has funded a one-minute television spot that argues, “if you don’t return your used containers to the store — politicians get to keep your money.” And while this does conjure an interesting image of Senate President Therese Murray rifling through your recycling bins, bottle bill advocates say it’s not entirely accurate—unreturned deposits would bolster the state’s general fund and help balance the annual budget. Fun new drinking game: As a group, try to get your potential bottle deposit refund to $1. At the end of the night, gather as many empties as you can, and announce “I’ll be taking these. Because I love … [hiccup] the environment!”

Another local boy doing us proud (sarcasm): 26-year-old homeless “Joe,” who got kicked out of his mother’s home in Boston and onto the streets of New York, has a morning Four Loco habit, makes $150 a day panhandling, and freshens up by having sex with lots of women. Or as he so charmingly puts it, “It’s not like I forgot how to get pussy just because I fucking became homeless.” Because ladies really love it when you address them by their genitalia, we recommend that anyone who thinks this video is glorious address a group of women as “Hey, pussies!” and see how that goes.

While many have called out Davis since a video of her refusing to issue a marriage license to Rowan County residents David Moore and David Ermold went viral in July, relationship columnist and gay activist Dan Savage went a step further on MSNBC Tuesday night, saying that “this is about someone hypocritcally looking to cash in”. He added: “And she is a hypocrite.” More

I’m in my mid-twenties, and I’ve been working as a substitute teacher for the last couple years (I joined Teach for America right out of college). I know some of the girls in classes I teach have crushes on me — high schoolers aren’t very subtle — but I brush it off, because I’m not an idiot. Last week, however, I got a disturbing email from a girl in the English class I subbed for. Pictures were attached. You get the gist. What do I do about this situation? I obviously haven’t responded, but I’m afraid she might go Lifetime-movie on me.More

One of the most exciting offseasons in NBA history had its watershed moment on Wednesday, a 12-hour standoff between the Dallas Mavericks and Los Angeles Clippers over free agent center DeAndre Jordan.

Ridiculous doesn’t even begin to capture all that transpired, from the storm of emojis to the storming and barricading of Jordan’s house by a cavalcade of Clippers. More

On July 7, 2005, London residents flooded the sidewalks after a coordinated suicide bomb attack on the city’s public transportation during rush hour claimed the lives of 52 people and injured more than 700.

My friend has a dog, and she’s always been kind of half-assed about caring for it. I’ll see her out at a party or a barbeque all day long, so I know the dog is home alone, and sometimes she goes out right after she finishes a shift (she’s a waitress, so that might be pretty late), without even going home to feed the dog or let it out. The other day, though, I went over to her house and realized things have crossed a line. There were piles of dog feces in a couple of corners, and the entryway rug was soaked in urine when we walked in. She laughed it off and called the dog naughty, then cleaned up the poop and basically ignored it. I’m worried about the puppy, and about my friend; what kind of person does that to an animal? Should I call animal control on her?More

My parents agreed to help my sister and I with college. I went to a state school and saved them a bunch of money. My sister went to a private liberal arts school that cost three times as much. Now she’s dropping out, and she’s convinced my parents to give her the equivalent of her last year of tuition as a “nest egg,” since they “would have spent that money on her anyway.” I think that’s completely unfair, and I resent my sister for manipulating my parents and them for giving in. How can I get over those feelings? I always play by the rules, and I feel like I’m being punished for it.

-THE GOOD SON

There’s a reason parents love falling back on that phrase, “You think this isn’t fair? Well life isn’t fair.” It’s because they’re right.

If you want to tally up what your parents have done for you versus your sister in dollars and cents, you’re right, they’re being “unfair” to you. But the other side of this coin is that you’re clearly more capable of navigating the world on your own than your sister is.

Just look at the facts: You chose college responsibly, while she went somewhere expensive though she clearly didn’t value that. You finished your education and are moving on to the next phase of life, she’s dropping out. You clearly have your shit together in ways she doesn’t yet, but also in ways she may never achieve.

In a cosmic way, your sister might be the one who got the short end of the stick; maybe because of her wiring, or maybe because your parents indulged her, she’s not nearly as capable and successful as you are.

If anything, that’s not something you should resent her for, it’s something you should feel lucky about.

Try seeing this problem not in the light of money, but in the light of your parents loving their children no matter what. Your sister needs help right now, and they’re in a position to provide it. They’re choosing to do so because they don’t want her to wind up in a bad place.

You don’t need their help right now, and I’d wager anything they’re extremely proud of you for that.

If you really can’t get over the money, why not go to your parents with a “responsible child” proposal: Ask if you can use a similar “gifted” sum towards a down payment (now or in the future) or further education. If they say no, tell them how you feel: You’d like to be rewarded for your good choices, and instead it feels like your sister is being rewarded for bad ones.

Or, better yet, stop focusing on the dollar amounts your parents can give you, and try to pay closer attention to the sort of support that really matters, the kind that made you the “good son” in the first place.