EMILY: Why me, Josh? We live on the same street. We used to make mud pies together when we were little kids. I taught you how to blow bubbles with chewing gum. I came to your birthdays, you came to mine. When we were eleven you let me play war with you and the other boys because you liked how I died.

(Let the five deceased improvise pre-teen kids playing war, using their fingers for guns and making shooting sounds. They run around in the dark, their flashlights sweeping the floor, looking for the enemy, the lights crisscrossing. Let them shout "bam, bam you're dead" pow, pow" and other variants).

(Eventually Emily "kills" Katie and Matt who drop dead, Michael shoots Jessie who falls dead. Michael and Emily shoot each other at the same time. Michael drops dead at once. Emily dies very dramatically with all the appropriate sounds. Beat.)

(EMILY LYING ON FLOOR)

EMILY: Hope I didn't disappoint you in the cafeteria this morning. Hope I died just right for you, Josh.

JOSH: You didn't have to fall on me and get me all bloody.

EMILY: Want to see it again? -Go on Shoot me again.

(Josh pretends to shoot her. She dies again very dramatically.)

JOSH: Love that feeling.

ACTOR 2: Love it.

ACTOR 4: Crave it.

ACTOR 5: Need it.

ACTOR 2: Gotta have a gun grip in your hand.

(Chorus echoes the word "hand.")

JOSH: Always wanted to be an Army Ranger parachuting behind enemy lines, ever since I could hold a- ACTOR 4: Cap gun.

ACTOR 5: Water gun.

ACTOR 2: Air gun.

ACTOR 4: Pop gun.

ACTOR 5: B.B. gun.

JOSH: Twelve gauge.

ACTOR 2: 22.

ACTOR 4: 38.

ACTOR 5: 45.

JOSH: A gun makes you feel alive.

(Chorus echoes "alive.")

ACTOR 2: Respect.

ACTOR 4: Watch out!

ACTOR 5: Move aside!

JOSH: Nobody can touch you.

ACTOR 2: When you have a gun-

JOSH: Nobody mocks you.

ACTOR 4: When you have a gun-

JOSH: You can take on anybody.

ACTOR 5: Anybody.

ACTOR 2: The champ wrestler.

ACTOR 4: The whole wrestling team.

ACTOR 5: The bad dudes.

ACTOR 2: Gang bangers.

JOSH: When you have a gun, people talk nice.

ACTOR 4: When you have a gun-

JOSH: People look at you like a V.I.P.

(Chorus echoes "V.I.P.")

ACTOR 5: Somebody bumps you, they say, Excuse me.

JOSH: You walk different-

ACTOR 2: When you have a gun.

JOSH: You talk different-

ACTOR 4: When you have a gun.

JOSH: You think different-

ACTOR 5: When you have a gun.

JOSH: It's so cool-

ACTOR 2: When you have a gun.

(Chorus loudly echoes "gun.")

ACTOR4: It's an A-plus.

ACTOR5: Slam dunk.

ACTOR2: Touchdown.

ACTOR4: Put down.

ACTOR5: All in one.

(Chorus echoes "one.")

JOSH: Love that military stance!

ACTOR2: You ain't got a chance-

ACTOR4: Respect!

ACTOR5: Watch out!

ACTOR 2: Move aside!

ACTOR 4: You can be whatever you wanna be-

JOSH 'Cause a gun in your hand is a Ph.D.

(Lights on Actor 1 and Actor 3 as Josh's parents, the deceased train their flashlight beams on the parents as they enter.)

(ACTOR3 AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR 3: Josh, there's no way we're buying you a rifle.

JOSH: Mom, will you listen to me?

(ACTOR1 AS JOSH'S DAD)

ACTOR 1: First you had to have a p.c., then every video game ever made, then a laptop-

JOSH: For school, dad.

(ACTOR3 AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR 3: Then a cell phone, a beeper and the newest style Nikes every three months-

(ACTOR1 AS JOSH'S DAD)

ACTOR 1: You have to have every CD you hear on the radio.

(ACTOR3 AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR 3: An expensive mountain bike you rode three times.

(ACTOR1 AS JOSH'S DAD)

ACTOR 1: A snowboard you never used, and now a rifle? Please.

JOSH: Grandpa wants to take me hunting.

(ACTOR3 AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR 3: I'm absolutely against it.

JOSH: Grandpa hunts. JOSH: Are you rejecting what your own father thinks?

(ACTOR1 AS JOSH'S FATHER)

ACTOR1: Of course not.

JOSH: Then I should have the rifle, right?

(ACTOR3 AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR 3: I wish you felt as passionate about your grades as you do about a rifle.

JOSH: You're changing the subject.

(ACTOR1 AS JOSH'S DAD)

ACTOR1: You've got a high I.Q. Your B's and C's could be all A's.

JOSH: Will you get off my back about my I.Q.?

(AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR3: We might feel differently if you were living up to your full potential.

JOSH: Okay, you get me the rifle and I'll bring home all A's on my next report card. Deal?

(AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR3: We'll talk about a rifle when we see all A's.

JOSH: You don't even trust me.

(AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR3: Josh, you know that's not true.

JOSH: If you trust me, then get me the rifle now.

(AS JOSH'S DAD)

ACTOR1: When you get all A's, we'll discuss it.

JOSH: Hunting season will be over before grades come out. Then I have to wait a whole year!

(AS JOSH'S DAD)

ACTOR 1: You have to learn patience.

JOSH: Hunting teaches patience. Grandpa said. But what's he know? He's only your father. All I want is to spend some time with grandpa and hear his stories about when he grew up. Learn some responsibility. Learn respect for firearms. How is all that bad?

(AS JOSH'S DAD)

ACTOR1: It's not bad, Josh. It's just that we're not comfortable with guns.

JOSH: If I wanted to, I could get a gun in school for fifty bucks.

(AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR3: How?

JOSH: Easy. I know a kid who stole a gun from his father. But I wouldn't buy it because that would be wrong. Is this what I get for being honest?

(AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR 3: Maybe his honesty deserves the rifle for a reward.

(AS JOSH'S DAD)

ACTOR1: Maybe you shouldn't cave in every time Josh throws a tantrum.

(AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR 3: What about the electric guitar you got him when he threw himself on the floor?

(AS JOSH'S DAD)

ACTOR 1: At least that showed an interest in music.

(AS JOSH'S MOM)

ACTOR 3: Yeah, and now it's collecting dust in the closet.

(Actors 1 and 3 walk off arguing.)

JOSH: Divide and conquer, Works every time. So don't blame me. Blame my folks, okay? They didn't have to buy me a rifle.

JOSH: Look at it this way: you got yourselves a cozy little place, and you can't beat the rent.

MICHAEL: It's not fair.

KATIE: Not fair.

MATT: Not fair at all.

JESSIE: That we're under the earth-

EMILY: And you don't even care.

JOSH: Know what's not fair? Some dude jumped me before I had a chance to reload. I could've dropped a lot more bodies and made history.

MICHAEL: We demand an honest answer, Josh. Why? Why'd you kill us?

(The deceased stand in a circle and push Josh around like a ball.)

JOSH: It was fun.

KATIE: You don't have the proper frame of mind.

MATT: We'll be all over you.

JESSIE: Up one side.

EMILY: Down the other.

MICHAEL: In your face.

KATIE: Under your skin.

MATT: Till you tell us why.

JESSIE: Why?

EMILY: Why'd you kill us?

JOSH: Lay off me.

MICHAEL: We're gonna open you up.

KATIE: Dissect you like a frog.

MATT: Pluck out your heart.

JESSIE: Just for a start.

MICHAEL: Till you tell us why.

EMILY: Why?

MICHAEL: Why me?

KATIE: Why anybody?

MATT: Why?

JESSIE: Why?

EMILY: Why'd you kill us?

JOSH: 'Cause there was nothing good on TV.

MICHAEL: We'll do whatever it takes tonight.

KATIE: Whatever it takes.

MATT: To crack you open.

JESSIE: Till then you'll live in hell.

EMILY: Without love.

MICHAEL: Without decency.

KATIE: Without comfort.

MATT: A kid in a cage.

JESSIE: In a zoo of misfits.

EMILY: Even until your release.

MICHAEL: When you're a

JESSIE: stooped-Broken-

EMILY: Bitter, old man.

KATIE: Full of scars.

MATT: Scars on body and mind.

JESSIE: Friendless.

MICHAEL: Hopeless.

KATIE: Mindless.

MATT: Soul-less.

(LAUGHING)

JOSH: Some lawyer will get me off.

MICHAEL: If you survive.

JOSH: Survive what?

DRUMMER (AS CON)

DRUMMER: Yo, bad boy.

JOSH: You talking to me?

JOSH: My name's Josh. What's yours?

DRUMMER (AS CON)

DRUMMER: You the new dude that offed seven people?

JOSH: If that dude didn't jump me I had enough ammo on me to take out a hundred more. I'd've made history.

DRUMMER: Tomorr' we gonna see just how bad you are.

JOSH: What do you mean?

DRUMMER: You'll see what we mean, bad boy.

(Josh to himself)

JOSH: Whoa.

MICHAEL: Feel your cell start to shrink?

KATIE: Feel the walls closing in?

MATT: Compressing your thoughts?

JESSIE: Cramming your brain?

EMILY: Driving you insane?

MICHAEL: You'll wish you were dead every so often.

KATIE: Your six by eight will be your coffin.

MATT: Nobody will hear.

JESSIE: When you scream and cry.

EMILY: Why? Why? Why'd you kill us?

JOSH: You can't hurt me, you're all dead.

MICHAEL: We need some answers, Josh.

KATIE: We want some answers tonight, Josh.

MATT: We want the truth.

JESSIE: The whole truth.

EMILY: And nothing but the truth.

JOSH: As the cop said, I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say can be held against me in a court of law.

(Quick drum rhythm, the deceased up-end the box converting it to a judge's bench by opening the lid so that it's up vertically. Actor 2 stands behind box and bangs the gavel. [Because the courtroom scene is just a fantasy, it should be played speeded up, without pause, so that Josh's nightmare trial is over in a matter of seconds.])

ACTOR 1: Josh was a good student, a popular student, a good son. There's only one explanation-temporary insanity.

(ACTOR4 AS PROSECUTOR)

ACTOR4: I call witnesses for the prosecution!

(ACTOR3 AS WITNESS)

ACTOR 3: Josh pulled the wings off a butterfly when he was five and he plagiarized on a paper for English class.

(ACTOR2 AS JUDGE)

ACTOR 2: The court will now hear closing statements.

(ACTOR4 AS PROSECUTOR)

ACTOR 4: As I see it, you the jury have a very difficult choice between the electric chair and lethal injection.

(ACTOR1 AS PUBLIC DEFENDER)

ACTOR 1: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, he's just a child.

KATIE: I urge you to put Josh in a psychiatric ward.

JOSH: I'm not psycho just because my parents forced me to see a shrink. I knew what I was doing!

(ACTOR2 AS JUDGE)

ACTOR 2: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a verdict?

EMILY: We have Your Honor, Life imprisonment without possibility.

JOSH: Possibility of what?

(ACTOR5 AS FOREWOMAN)

ACTOR 5: Without possibility of anything good.

(Beat. Lights fade. Remain.) Chorus exits. Deceased and Josh

MICHAEL: You'll never achieve your dreams.

MICHAEL: Never skydive.

MATT: Never scuba off Australia.

JESSIE: Never explore the caldera of a volcano.

KATIE: Never fly a helicopter.

MATT: Never be a sportscaster.

JESSIE: Never ski again.

MICHAEL: Never body surf.

JESSIE Never meet people on the internet.

EMILY Never know what you could've been-

MICHAEL: Done-

JESSIE: Seen-

KATIE: Had-

MATT: Known-

JESSIE: Loved in your lifetime.

MICHAEL: Now you'll never know all the happiness that was yours.

EMILY: But you'll wonder.

MATT: And the wonderment will eat you alive.

KATIE: Eat you for breakfast.

JESSIE: Eat you for lunch.

EMILY: Eat you for dinner.

KATIE: While all your dreams mock you-

MICHAEL: Mock you-

MATT: Mock you-

EMILY: Mock you through the bars.

(The box is restored to a bed. Josh lies down to sleep on the blanket.)

JOSH: Who cares? The whole thing will be off my record when I'm eighteen anyway. Maybe I'll be out of here when I'm twenty-one. You're all just a bad dream.

EMILY: Sometimes bad dreams come true.

(The deceased wrap Josh in the blanket, pick him up, making the box a coffin. They drop him in, close the lid. We hear Josh kicking and screaming inside. They turn the box on its side, open the lid. Josh tumbles out screaming and thrashing around. He begins to look at the deceased with new respect.)

MICHAEL: That's how it is under the earth.

KATIE: In the dark.

MATT: Alone.

JESSIE: In silence.

EMILY: We really need some answers, Josh.

JOSH: Answers to what?

MICHAEL: What were you thinking?

KATIE: What was in your heart?

MATT: Why'd you smile when you killed us?

JOSH: I'm just a friendly guy.

JESSIE: Didn't you feel badly?

EMILY: Did you think of the buck when you shot me?

(Josh is astonished they know about his hunting experience. The tone changes, Josh is feeling vulnerable that they know his mind.)

JOSH: The buck I killed last weekend. Man, it was so cool. What's yours on?

KATIE: How to dump somebody.

JOSH: How's it go?

KATIE: Say for example your boyfriend says he's gonna meet you at the mall and take you to a movie but instead he goes hunting.

JOSH: C'mon, Katie We could go out this coming weekend.

(Enter Josh.)

KATIE: I don't think we should see each other anymore.

JOSH: Can't you give me another chance?

KATIE: I like somebody else now.

JOSH: Who?

KATIE: What's it matter?

JOSH: Just tell me who.

KATIE: Doesn't matter.

JOSH: Matters to me.

KATIE: Believe it or not there are some people who don't take me for granted.

(Enter Michael.)

MICHAEL: Sorry I'm late.

JOSH: Him? It's him?

MICHAEL: Hey, Josh.

JOSH: I thought we're friends?

MICHAEL: We are.

JOSH: Some friend who sneaks around with my girl.

KATIE: I'm not yours.

MICHAEL: Nobody's sneaking around, Josh.

KATIE: Can we just go please?

(Josh pushes Michael who pushes him back and knocks Josh to the ground. HUGE LAUGH FROM THE RUMORS. Exit Katie and Michael hand in hand. Lights on Josh. Voices in the dark. Constant rhythm from the drum under all rumors.)

ACTOR 5 (AS COP) Alright, I want everyone to stand by his or her locker.

JOSH: This your locker? Yes, officer.

ACTOR 5 (AS COP) you know anything about the words on the blackboard?

JOSH: No, officer.

ACTOR 5 (AS COP): You sure?

JOSH: Positive.

ACTOR 5 (AS COP): You see anybody go in or come out of the classroom?

JOSH: No.

ACTOR 5 (AS COP): Where were you when the words were written on the blackboard?

JOSH: I'd have to know when the words were written, wouldn't I, officer?

ACTOR 5 (AS COP): Let us know if you hear anything.

(Lights on Josh laughing, Voices in the dark Drum rhythm under rumors.)

ACTOR 1/RUMOR: The principal's calling an assembly.

ACTOR 2/RUMOR: What for?

ACTOR 3/RUMOR: Maybe they found out who did it.

ACTOR 5/RUMOR: That's what I heard.

ACTOR 1/RUMOR: Don't know-but he's gonna be hauled up on stage in front of the whole school and suspended on the spot. (Laughing)

JOSH: Gotta find him first.

ACTOR 2/RUMOR: They should take away all the guns.

(Lines begin overlapping again.)

ACTOR 3/RUMOR: Ever hear of the Constitution and the right to bear arms?

ACTOR 4/RUMOR: How are we supposed to get an education dodging bullets?

ACTOR 5/RUMOR: It's all a hoax. Ever hear of Paducah?

ACTOR 2/RUMOR: What about Jonesboro and Springfield? It could happen anywhere.

ACTOR 4/RUMOR: There's a killer in every school.

ACTOR 5/RUMOR: Teachers should carry guns.

ACTOR 1/RUMOR: Yeah, and we should all wear bulletproof vests.

(Josh stands amid the actors 1-4 and the deceased who make idle chatter like kids gathering in the auditorium. Deceased shine flashlight on Principal as she enters. New drum rhythm at entrance, then drum out.)

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL) (Repeat): Alright people, let's settle down...

ACTOR 1/RUMOR: You're sweating, Josh. It's hot in here, okay?

(Flashlights out.)

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): Someone in this auditorium wrote some very threatening words on the blackboard.

ACTOR 3/RUMOR: Perhaps the blackboard phantom wrote those words in jest, perhaps in anger. Whatever the case...

ACTOR 2: Blackboard phantom!

JOSH: Love that!

JOSH

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL)...If the guilty party surrenders in my office sometime today, the punishment will be minimal...

ACTOR 3: Maybe she knows it's you, Josh.

JOSH: If she knew it was me, she wouldn't say it like that.

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): But if we discover who he or she is...The punishment will be severe. If you know who the blackboard phantom is and don't tell us, you will be just as guilty.

JOSH: Anybody wanna laugh in my face? That's what I thought. There's a potential killer on the loose! Wonder who he or she is?

(Chorus goes silent)

(Josh turns to find the school principal in his face.)

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): Can I speak with you in my office, Josh? Come in. Have a seat.

JOSH: Thanks.

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): Anything you want to say to me?

JOSH: Not really.

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): You sure?

JOSH: Oh, yeah. Great hair.

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): Anything else?

JOSH: Well, yes, there is something.

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): Good. What's that?

JOSH: We all really hope you catch that nut who wrote on the blackboard.

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): You do?

JOSH: We'll all feel better knowing we're safe.

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): We know for a fact that you're the blackboard phantom, Josh.

(Josh laughs)

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): You want to confess?

JOSH: I was in gym class.

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): The instructor said you took a very long bathroom break.

JOSH: You can't prove a thing.

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): We have a snitch.

JOSH: Who?

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): You.

JOSH: What?

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): We compared the writing on the blackboard to your last essay in English class. It's a perfect match.

JOSH: Katie, right? Wasn't it Katie?

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): Do you want to make it easy and confess?

JOSH: Why confess when I didn't do anything?

ACTOR 5 (AS PRINCIPAL): It's tragic when a gifted young man throws away an education-for what? A childish prank. You know about our zero tolerance policy of violence or even the threat of violence. I have no choice but to expel you for the rest of the year.

JOSH: Because of some stupid words on the blackboard I have to repeat the grade?

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): Don't you want to get to the bottom of your problems?

JOSH: I have nothing to say to you.

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): Why not?

JOSH: If I told you then I would have something to say, wouldn't I? Duh.

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): I've talked to some people at your school.

JOSH: Talked to who?

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): Your football coach praised your team spirit. Despite your need to be the class clown, your teachers say you're very bright and pleasant. You have had amazing grades in the past. There's a rumor that you're a big hit with the girls.

JOSH: I broke a few hearts.

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): With all of that going for you, why did you make a threat on the blackboard?

JOSH: Why'd the chicken cross the road?

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST: I give up.

JOSH: To prove it wasn't chicken.

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

JOSH: Don't know? It died.

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree?

JOSH: Don't know. It died. It died

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): Peer pressure

JOSH: Ha, ha, ha.

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): Why did you write on the blackboard, Josh?

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): The great hunter's gotta repeat the grade.

(All laugh.)

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): Josh, I'd really like to run some medical tests to see if we can relieve your pain with medication. You'll have to stay overnight in the hospital.

JOSH: The Looney bin? You know how much face I'll lose with kids at school when they find out I'm a nut case? My life sucks.

(All laugh.)

ACTOR 4 (AS PSYCHOTHERAPIST): Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

JOSH: Because I shot it dead!

(Lights off Actor 4.)

JOSH: Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

(Voices laugh mockingly)

JOSH: Wish somebody would put me out of my misery!

(After a moment of absolute silence-)

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Boom.

JOSH: Who's there?

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Boom.

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): No more pain...

JOSH: Who said that?

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): You.

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Your life is over, Josh.

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Over.

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK: Over.

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Over.

JOSH: Who's there?

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): You.

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): You.

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): You.

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Do it in the living room for your parents to see.

(Drum returns softly.)

JOSH: What do you mean?

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Leave your brains on the wall.

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Make 'em feel bad.

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): The rifle's locked in the closet.

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Break the lock.

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Boom.

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): No more pain.

JOSH: That's dumb.

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Josh the joke will be a year behind all his friends.

(Voices laugh mockingly.))

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): While everybody's having fun in the sun, Josh is reading gobble-de-gook in a book!

(Voices laugh mockingly.)

JOSH: Shut up! Stop it!

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Only you can make them stop, Josh.

JOSH: How?

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): You know.

JOSH: What do you mean?

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Boom.

JOSH: Whoa. ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK) One bullet would quiet them forever.

(Voices laugh mockingly. Drum returns.)

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): You'd end your pain and stop the voices in your head.

JOSH: I don't want to be thinking this!

(Voices laugh mockingly.)

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Show 'em who you are. The whole school would stand in awe of you. You'd be a legend for years to come.

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Kill the voices, Josh.

JOSH: Does it hurt?

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Bullet in the head? You'll never feel a thing.

JOSH: I'm scared.

(Voices laugh mockingly.)

JOSH: How do I do this?

(Drum out.)

MICHAEL: Make your face a mask.

KATIE: A mask that hides your face.

MATT: A face that hides the pain.

JESSIE: A pain that eats your heart.

EMILY: A heart nobody knows.

JOSH: Here goes...But suppose I botch it?

(Voices laugh mockingly.)

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): You'll be a joke.

ACTOR 1 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Hear about Josh? Tried to off himself but he blew it!

(Voices laugh mockingly.)

ACTOR 3 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Now he's a pathetic wannabe forever!

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Josh the joke!

(Voices laugh mockingly.)

JOSH: I can't do this! I'll be Josh the joke forever!

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Then you have to stop the voices another way, Josh.

JOSH: How?

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Two boxes of bullets should do it. It's almost lunchtime.

JOSH: Whoa...They'll all be in the cafeteria now.

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Imagine their faces when the hunter walks in. They see you in cameo holding your rifle. Instant respect. Judgment day.

JOSH: Like the movie.

ACTOR 1 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Paducah.

ACTOR 3 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Jonesboro.

ACTOR 5 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Springfield.

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Take 'em with you.

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): With you.

ACTOR 5 (VOICE IN THE DARK): With you.

JOSH: Whoa. Nobody could top that.

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): You don't hear the voices laughing anymore, do you, Josh?

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD, VOICE IN DARK): Josh? You home?

(Drum returns. Voices laugh mockingly in a rising crescendo with the drum.)

JOSH: Who's that?

ACTOR 2 (AS JOSH'S DAD, VOICE IN DARK): Josh? You home?

ACTOR 1 (VOICE IN THE DARK): They'll take you to the Looney bin!

(Lights on Actor 1 as Josh's dad.)

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD): Josh, the doctor called me at work and asked your mother and I to drive you to the hospital...How'd you get the rifle?

ACTOR 2 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Don't chicken out now!

ACTOR 4 (VOICE IN THE DARK): Unless you wanna be Josh the joke.

ACTOR 1 (AS JOSH'S DAD): Put that down!

(Actor 1 advances. He turns back to the audience the drum rises to a crescendo.)

DECEASED AND CHORUS: DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!

(Lights out on Actor 1. and stands still.)

JOSH: What did I do?

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM, VOICE IN DARK): Josh? What was that noise?

JOSH: Mom?

(Lights on Actor 3 as Josh's mom.)

ACTOR 3 (AS JOSH'S MOM): Josh, what have you done?

MICHAEL: Make your face a mask.

KATIE: A mask that hides your face.

MATT: A face that hides the pain.

(Actor 3 as Josh's mom kneels and gestures to the body we can't see.)

JESSIE: A pain that eats your heart.

EMILY: A heart nobody knows.

JOSH: I love you, mom.

(Josh flicks the flashlight twice.)

DECEASED AND CHORUS: DEAD! DEAD!

(Actor 3 turns her back to the audience. All lights off. Josh holds the flashlight under his chin as he speaks to the turned backs of his parents.)

JOSH: Mom?

(A female voice in the dark starts to hum and then sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" under the monologue)

JOSH: Dad? You made me do this. I wanted to kill you but I didn't want you dead. How else could I tell you what's on my mind without you interrupting? Mom? How are you singing now if you're dead? Stop it. You used to sing that to me when I couldn't sleep. Stop it, please? Don't I have enough pain? Isn't it hard enough being nobody? Isn't it tough enough that everybody looks at me like I'm a broken trashbag? Where do I fit in? Where can I go and not have anybody on my back? At school the teachers are giving this test and that paper and don't do this and don't do that. Then I come home and you always find something that I didn't do and I'm never good enough. I guess I'm just sick of you being disappointed in me all the time. Remember when you taught me the outfielder's glove, dad, and I caught a high-fly in the Little League championship game and you carried me off the field? Why can't it be like that? Why's it so easy to talk to you now? Anyway, thanks for listening.

(Chorus exits. The five deceased enter one by one, now each wearing white; Matt in a white dress shirt, Katie in a white blouse, Jessie in a white t-shirt, Michael in a white sweatshirt and white baseball cap turned backwards, Emily in a white sweatshirt. Matt enters first, carries a bottle of catsup, sits, pours some on some imaginary fries, begins to eat, then starts on some homework. Katie enters, sits next to Matt and asks to borrow a homework assignment, Matt agrees, but asks her to wait till he finishes the problem he's working on. Michael enters asking Katie to go with him to get some food; Jessie rushes in to tell Matt she's been accepted to college. Emily stops by to tell Katie she'll be late, etc. Improvise casual dialogue but don't allow anything to affect plot or character. As the dialogue builds to a crescendo, Matt, desperately trying to concentrate on his homework, finally raises his voice and asks them to be quiet so he can do his work. Silence, then together everyone continues at the same volume and pace. Matt slumps in defeat.)

(Lights up on Josh only, in a military stance. Silence.)

(Beat. Katie takes her flashlight, turns it on under her chin.)

KATIE: Why me? You liked me.

JOSH: You snitched on me.

KATIE: Why do you have to shoot me through the heart?

(Michael squeezes catsup into Katie's hand. She smears it on her heart.)

JOSH: Where do you think you shot me? Why do you pretend I'm not there? My parents don't see me. Kids in school don't see me. You don't see me. I'm invisible sometimes.

(Michael steps forward, flashlight under chin.)

MICHAEL: Why me? I had a football scholarship.

JOSH: You were everything I wanted to be.

(Jessie squeezes catsup into Michael's hand. on his hat, on the side of his head.)

MICHAEL: Why do you have to shoot me through the head?

JOSH: You should have figured that when you pushed me.

(Jessie steps forward, flashlight under her chin.)

JESSIE: Why me? I don't even know you.

(Matt squeezes catsup into her hand)

JESSIE: I never even spoke to you. Why me? What right do you have to take all the life I could've lived?

(She slaps it slaps catsup on her abdomen)

JESSIE: Feel like a man when you shot me in the stomach?

(Matt and Emily squeeze catsup in their own hands during Jessie's line.)

JOSH: You have no idea what it's like to be somebody one day, and nobody the next.

(Matt steps forward, flashlight under his chin.)

MATT: Why me? I had my whole life before me.

JOSH: So did I.

MATT (Matt squeezes catsup on his shirt collar): How'd it feel to shoot me through the neck?

JOSH: Don't know.

(Emily steps forward, flashlight under her chin.)

EMILY: All my life I've been taught to forgive. That forgiveness is for the forgiver. But I just can't. Not until I know what's really in your heart. I need to know, Josh. Why me? (Slaps it on her chest) Why me?

JOSH: If you know all my thoughts, why don't you know that? EMILY: We want to hear you say it to yourself...Why, Josh?

MICHAEL: Why her?

KATIE: Why him?

MATT: Why them?

JESSIE: Why me?

EMILY: Why anybody, Josh?

JOSH Sometimes I hate being alive, but I'm afraid to be dead.

KATIE: Know what I hate about being dead? You can't call up and order a pizza.

(Deceased gather around the box casually.)

MICHAEL: Pepperoni.

JESSIE: Extra cheese.

EMILY: Garlic.

ALL: Hold the anchovies!

MICHAEL: Cheeseburgers.

KATIE: With bacon.

MATT: And fries.

JESSIE: Drenched in ranch dressing.

EMILY: Triple chocolate milkshakes.

MATT: Chocolate chip cookies.

KATIE: With milk.

MATT: Cold milk.

JESSIE: So many things to miss.

EMILY: You could never name them all.

ALL: Never.

(With background music. The tone is sad joy-sad that it's gone, joyful in remembrance. Sometimes they are oblivious of Josh; other times they direct the lines at him. At the director's discretion, cut one or two of the following sections (5 or 10 lines) and let the Actors improvise. Let each actor personalize things they now have that they miss. Let each line begin with, "I miss-". Let none of it interfere with plot, character or tone.)

MICHAEL: I miss cruising, windows down, radio up.

KATIE: I miss lying on my bed in the dark falling asleep to a CD.

MATT: I miss getting shot down by girls.

JESSIE: I miss when a guy gets that look in his eye! And you know he's gonna ask you out!

EMILY: And then he says, Can I borrow your math book?

(These lines begin to overlap.)

MICHAEL: I miss when she answers before you even finish asking-

JESSIE: I'd love to!

MATT: I miss when you go in for the kiss and then it happens and it's much, much better than you dreamed it would be.

KATIE: I miss bowling.

EMILY: I miss seeing Jody when she has that look on her face that she's got another stupid joke to tell me.

MICHAEL: I miss mom's rock-hard brownies.

KATIE: I miss my dog when I come home from school.

MATT: I miss how my dog jumps all over me and barks for a treat.

JESSIE: I miss caffeine.

EMILY: I miss when you take a new pair of jeans in the dressing room and put them on and they fit perfect.

MICHAEL: I miss cheese puffs.

KATIE: I miss soda fizz tickling my nose.

MICHAEL: I miss loving someone.

(Emily gets everyone's attention. They listen.)

JESSIE: I miss fixing my hair in the morning.

EMILY: I miss going to the mailbox and getting a letter that I didn't expect.

MATT: A hand written letter.

(Katie moves DC. The others follow one by one on their lines. This is addressed to the audience.)

KATIE: I miss jumping into a cool pool on a hot day.

MATT: I miss sneezing.

JESSIE: I miss sleeping.

EMILY: I miss good times in Louisiana.

MICHAEL: I miss rollerblading.

KATIE: I miss when you start the school year and you open a book for the first time and the spine cracks.

MATT: I miss going into the cafeteria and deciding who I want to sit with.

JESSIE: I miss laughing so hard I start to cry.

EMILY: I miss waterskiing in Georgia.

MICHAEL: I miss being home alone with a microwave bag of popcorn and the remote in my hand channel surfing.

KATIE: I miss giving my dog a bath and she shakes and gives me a shower.

MATT: I miss mom's cooking.

JESSIE: I miss mom's cooking wafting through the house and trying to guess what it is.

EMILY: I miss picking a college.

MICHAEL: I miss talking with friends on the phone after midnight.

KATIE: I miss going in a grocery store and being able to buy anything I want.

MATT: I miss hanging out.

JESSIE: I miss the end of a race when I'm out of breath and I feel so good about myself.

EMILY: I miss screaming at the football games.

MICHAEL: I miss the end of the day school bell, the feeling in the air when you can go home.

(Katie crosses to a new position to look at Josh. The others follow on their lines.)

KATIE: I miss my bed.

MATT: I miss singing in the shower.

JESSIE: I miss getting into a fight with my brother and acting like nothing happened five minutes later.

EMILY: I miss making mom laugh so hard she can't hardly breathe.

MICHAEL: I miss watching the sky go from light to dark.

KATIE: And dark to light.

JOSH: I never thought I was taking away all that!

(Music fades out. Josh interrupts.)

MICHAEL: Never? What do you know about never? I'll never do all I wanted to do.

ALL: Never!

MATT: I miss, even at my age, not being able to sleep on Christmas Eve.

JESSIE: I miss learning new songs on the piano.

EMILY (TO DECEASED): I miss singing to the radio in front of the mirror.

KATIE AND MICHAEL (JOINING IN): And pretending I'm in concert.

SRO! I miss Sunday brunch.

(DECEASED, XC, LINES OVERLAP)

JESSIE: I miss Krispy Kreme donuts.

EMILY: I miss opening a door on a winter's day and feeling the cool rush of cold air on my face.

MATT: I miss hitting on girls.

KATIE: I miss jumping on the trampoline with six people at a time.

MATT: I miss swimming in the fountain at midnight.

MICHAEL: I miss people watching.

EMILY: I miss the look in my brother's eye just before he pulls his newest wrestling move on me.

ALL: Never.

KATIE: I'll never achieve my dreams.

ALL: Never.

MATT: I'll never see all I wanted to see.

ALL: Never.

JESSIE: I'll never know all I wanted to know.

ALL: Never.

EMILY: Not ever.

(At the director's discretion, cut one or two of the following sections (5 or 10 lines) and let the actors improvise. Let the actors personalize those things they never had. Let each line begin with, "I'll never-". Let none of it interfere with plot, character, or tone.) (Music continues. Characters listen respectfully to each other.)

KATIE: I'll never be an aunt.

MICHAEL: I'll never know what it is to live on my own and be independent.

MATT: I'll never have the chance to be a better person.

JESSIE: I'll never go to college and have a double major.

EMILY: I'll never find the right person to spend my life with.

MICHAEL: And make a marriage work.

(Josh, on the outside, moves in, hoping for an invitation. They ignore him.)

JOSH: I miss-

(They drown him out.)

KATIE: And give love.

MATT: And get love.

JESSIE: I'll never meet a beautiful, intelligent, caring fraternity boy who will look at me and see perfection.

EMILY: I'll never be married in a white dress and have a huge wedding.

MICHAEL: I'll never make new friends.

KATIE: I'll never be a psychologist.

MATT: I'll never play catch with my son.

JESSIE: I'll never have long talks at a candle lit table in the corner of a little restaurant.

EMILY: I'll never be nineteen the way I always dreamed about.

MICHAEL: I'll never know what it is to come home from work and open the door and all my kids run to me and pull me down on the floor and smother me with hugs and kisses.

KATIE: I'll never find out if the psychic was right-will I get what I want or sell used cars?

MATT: I'll never know what it is to own my own car.

(Moving DC, One by one to the audience. the rest join him.)

JESSIE: I'll never have my beautiful frat boy hold my hand in the delivery room of the maternity ward telling me to push, push, push while I tell him to shut up.

EMILY: I'll never own a red convertible.

KATIE: I'll never fly a plane.

MATT: Or sail a boat.

MICHAEL: Or see the Dead Sea.

JESSIE: I'll never have three children who look just like my frat boy so that when I kiss them I'm kissing him.

KATIE: I'll never see my limits.

MATT: Or really know myself.

KATIE I'll never learn all mom's recipes.

MATT: I'll never have a chance to make dad proud of me.

JESSIE: I'll never cry at my children's graduation.

EMILY: I'll never see Paris.

(One by one, each turn on their own lines, turning to Josh.)

MICHAEL: Or Tokyo.

EMILY: Or learn to fly fish.

MICHAEL: Or get washboard abs.

JESSIE: I'll never have an epitaph that reads "Beloved mother, grandmother, and wife. Died at 17."

JOSH: What do you want from me? I can't bring you back to life! If I could, I would! Don't you see that? It's over! It's over!

JOSH: I didn't know it would be forever. I thought it was "bang bang you're dead" again. I thought I could just hit the reset button and start over. Why can't I have another chance? When I killed you I killed all my possibilities, too.

(Matt drops)

(Jessie drops)

(Michael drops)

(Katie drops dead)

JOSH: (cont'd) I'll never have anything to look forward to. Never.

(One by one the deceased rise dream-like and begin to exit slowly turning out their lights.)

JOSH: Is this the rest of my life?

(Josh goes to his knees, devastated)

JOSH: Oh God.

(Emily turns out her light on Josh. END Darkness.)

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