Thursday, 25 September 2008

Cremation: Became the favoured option more than 40 years ago; now seven out of 10 corpses are disposed of at crematoria. But complaints over CO2 emissions and the mercury in dental fillings, as well as the huge amounts of energy needed, have raised serious questions.Lift and deepen: As justice minister last year, Harriet Harman allowed the deepening of 100-year-old graves to make room for up to three more coffins.burial standing up: The Ministry of Justice's investigation of the burial crisis also saw the potential for corpses to be interred vertically to maximise plot space.aeration: A number of cemeteries are planning to drive poles into older graves to allow more air in and speed decomposition. Plots could then be reused more quickly.promession: Local authorities are investigating a "freeze-drying" procedure, where bodies are dipped in liquid nitrogen and vibrated for 60 seconds until they shatter into powder.resomation: The early leader in the new generation of "human disposal" options. The body is placed in a resomator, and submerged in water and alkali at 150C. In three hours, it turns to liquid and soft calcium dust.

I wouldn't mind being stuffed and mounted (and no, that wasn't a pick up line). A few extra features like deer antlers, or being attached centaur like to a horse's body wouldn't go astray. Anything to help carry on the hoax. Maybe they can have a dime slot, and when you put in a coin I play the banjo, which would be really cool seeing as I can't play it now.