Rape!

SNL cast member Michael Che fucked himself in the online reputation ass by mocking the ‘Catcalling’ video circling the Internet like so many burning bras. The hidden camera video (below) depicts what life is like for reasonably attractive women in reasonably form fitting wear walking up and down the sexist streets of New York. A near constant barrage of ‘Hey, honey, I got your Empire State building right here’. The hood rat, the vagrant, the random shady dude, they’re all creating a gauntlet of audible torment for the fairer sex. Michael Che tried to make a funny on Twitter about the scourge of catcalling and put himself on the ignition switch for feminist blogger blast off.

Here’s what I know. If you’re really fat or really short or have a disability or deformity, or merely just tits, you can create a hidden camera video where you walk around New York and random people will belittle you. As Welcome Ambassador to New York, Taylor Swift ought to address this shit. Even though we can’t change crude human behavior, especially in rough densely populated urban environments, we can make speeches condoning it and pretend something was done. That’s called politics.

There are two things you can count on from feminist bloggers covering a story of female harassment. First, they too have suffered such indecencies. One columnist wrote that she has suffered nasty comments and catcalling every day of her four years living in New York (solution: Kansas now has the Internet). Second, everything is tantamount to rape in the rape culture where raping rapists rape the living rape out of women with their raping eyes, their raping words, and their raping thoughts. Not to belittle catcalling, it’s the obnoxious sport of losers, but it’s not rape. Rapists are those relatively small number of guys who need to be shot in the head or locked up for life to be raped by other rapists. Catcallers need to be punched in the nose. I wish Hammurabi were still alive, he could explain this better.

I’ve never catcalled a woman in my life. I’ve known from the start I’m in that rather large category of guys who has to make a little effort to get women. The idea of leading with my inner asshole never seemed to fit that strategy. I’m sure it sucks for women that some percentage of men are socially retarded douchebags, but most aren’t. Rape culture labeling is just as bad as catcalling. Save the inciting words for when they really count. What do you mean there’s no room left in the 4:00 spin class? Rape!