Beg, Borrow, and Steal :: Four

Apparently Beck is releasing an album of new songs! Finally, after waiting since ’08, we can get some new tracks. . . wait, what?

They’re only available on sheet music? Sheet as in paper, not CD or wax? As in, it mine as well be a collection of Beck Hansen cross word puzzles? Oh, c’mon dude, to hear this, I need to be able to read music?

With that in mind, we list artists madder than mad who you need to rip off, pay cash money for, or just, you know, ask a buddy to loan it out.

Beg

There’s nothing wrong on getting an advance on your snow-shovelling money. Just go teary-eyed around town and hope the poor bastards fork over enough pre-green for these!

Captain Beefheart – Safe as Milk

Released in 1967. As in 19. Six, then seven. As in, free love hippies, glorious LSD-inspired trips, and gas for a nickel!

While some people were painting flowers on their guitars and writing poetry on burlap Don Van Vliet (aka, the Captain) was making some of the newest and sonically bizarrest music of his time. . . and ours.

Legendary arrangements, instrumentation and a voice so salty it makes my tongue hurt, Safe as Milk stands as the blueprint of true inspired wackiness. But it’s not all just show; the man can write a monster pop hit, too. Also, if you love, trivia a 20-year-old Ry Cooder makes an appearance on the record. Check out ‘Zig Zg Wanderer’, and ‘Dropout Boogie’.

Tony Jeffrey – aka, Tonetta – is a musician for the new digital age. No, not for the reasons of advanced recording techniques, but for his ability to mass-market his ass for the video hungry. Who knew a guy who tapes himself half naked in ladies dresses could make some catchy and addictive shit?

One part schitzo, two parts heavily-oiled bod, Tonetta sings about things we all enjoy: sex, drugs and looking good (check out his mask selection).

Have a listen, and I dare you not to think of Mickey Rourke rocking some beats.

Aside from the headiness of the work, Partch made all his own instruments ranging from boards, glass jugs, scrap metal, trees, and bowls. This is stuff dying to be heard. Thank me later.

Borrow

Anything by Daniel Johnson

A prolific songwriter, comic artist, and all-around American legend, Daniel isn’t so much odd as he is honest.

But still, his work would fit under true iconic auteur thinking.

Most of his stuff is great, but some of it’s too hit and miss.

Pop Levi – The Return to Form Black Magick Party

The grand pub of ’60s revivalist, with bong hits and music straight out of Syd Barrett’s coffin.

The songs hit when they need to, but me thinks he thinks about the eyeliner more than anything else.

Steal

I agree, we don’t condone shoplifting, but illegal downloading. . . .

David Lynch – Crazy Clown Time

If you’ve seen in-studio footage of Lynch, then you know he wears a cowboy hat and holds the guitar on his lap while he dolphin sings over tracks.

Perfect for the go-go dancer from hell!

He also sings about some nasty, violent, odd nether-world darkness and people screaming so loud they spit.

To boot, the singles ‘I Know’ and ‘Good Day Today’ will almost certainly induce vomit due to their greatness.

Anything by GG Allin

Pretty much the crowned king of over-the-line, who’s legendary shows induced panic, alarm, and disgust (google him, you’ll see why); to actually own something this wrong can only be right. You probably wont agree with one thing he screams but, damn if it ain’t fun to hear.