The story line everyone wanted to discuss before Game 2 was pregame handshake routines. Or at least, that's what I wanted to discuss. The Cavaliers, you see, have a pregame greeting ritual more choreographed than a Karl Rove-directed ballet. Virtually every player has a specific handshake he bestows on his teammates, leading to dozens of intricate interactions, one after another, a neatly planned procession of palm.

So I asked two simple questions: Where did this ceremony come from, and what does it all mean?

"You probably want to ask somebody else that," Eric Snow said coyly.

"That's between us, man," Ira Newble said.

"You've got to ask the king of those," Scot Pollard said.

No, not that king. The king of handshakes is none other than Damon Jones. So, Mr. Jones, where did this ceremony come from, and what does it all mean?

"No handshake questions," he said. "I can't tell you anything about the handshakes, I'd have to kill you. I do a handshake with each individual guy, and that's sacred. The meaning of the handshakes will not be disclosed in your newspaper."

Jones would say nothing more than that each handshake is based on specific personality traits, but as with all secretive organizations, some leaks inevitably sprang. Jones's handshake with Daniel Gibson involves two hand slaps and a "turn-the-faucet" motion; "turn it on," Gibson explained. With Anderson Varejao, hand slaps and a shimmy with arms extended. With Pollard, hand slaps and two strums of an air guitar, paying homage to Pollard's musical leanings. And with LeBron James, Jones performs an elaborate "Matrix"-like dance.

"How about this, I'm gonna give you an exclusive," Jones said to two reporters an hour before Game 2. "I'm changing it today."

Sure enough, during the endless pregame pause, the king of handshakes and The King of basketball met and slapped hands. Jones swung with a roundhouse left; James ducked. Then came a roundhouse right; LeBron dodged again. Then they hugged.

"It's like dating a woman who hates you so much she will never break up with you, even if you burn down the house every single autumn." ~ Chuck Klosterman on Browns fans relationship with the Browns