~ This blog is about expats and rugs not drugs.

Monthly Archives: April 2009

The cause of why women join gangs, starts in early childhood. Deep inside every little girl is the root of the gang behavior – lack of inhibition and child style when it comes to picking clothes. This lack of inhibition around clothing choice and the courage, to act on this inhibition, is the necessary step, to start wearing rugs and tablecloths in adult life . Childhood is the training ground for little girl who will grow up, move to San Miguel and join a gang. .

Sadly, at some point, most young girls start to conform and lose that inate ability to dress weird. Until that point comes it is interesting to pick out potential gang members before they immature.

These little girls all have the Gift.

Given time and a good marriage or divorce settlement she will emerge one day to walk the Calles of San Miguel and let that little child style out.

This innocent looking man is the town book pusher. His backpack is jammed full of books and given a glance in his direction, you will be approached and asked if you looking for books. If you ask what kind of books, then he will open his pack and pull out a Guide Book and let you read a sample or two. Everyone knows that once you have your piece of information from a Guide Book, you are hooked. Information is addictive, as many residents of San Miguel know. They can’t stop with a single tidbit of information. They soon develop a craving to know more and more and more and tell more and more and more.

Hard core data junkies turn to Guide Gang because the information monkey is on their back. Some start impromptu tours in the Jardin.

The Mexican government is fully aware of the dangers of information addiction but are powerless, to stop those, who supply innocents with all sorts of information. At the current time information is not illegal in San Miguel. There is no Fox network here.

The woman is the window is from the Day of Dead Gang. The look on her face tells you she is addicted to information. She wants advice on the best shoestore, that gives a discount to Plastic Surgery survivors or where to eat Pozole after a nose job or what is the darkest restaurant in town to go after a facelift .

It is sad that so many residents and tourists in San Miguel get addicted so easily from just a taste of knowledge.

For months I had seen women stroll through the Jardin in a variation of this outfit, in the early morning, in packs and wearing tights.

But my eye was always drawn to the empty quiver they carried slung over their backs.

I could see neither a bow nor any arrows just the quiver.

I could find no mention of an archery range in San Miguel but these people had to be going somewhere and using up all their arrows.

But where? And why?

What was the purpose of this Gang?
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Here is a pack of them back from the archery range; each carrying an empty quiver.

See how strange are the quivers. They are rolled quivers, Maybe the arrows are wrapped .

But again the arrows are all gone and there is no bow.

It wasn’t until Valentine’s Day that I finally understood what I was seeing.

There are many Angels in San Miguel.

Stores are full of Angels.

Women talk about their Special Angel.

It was then, that I knew that these women were Love Angels or the Cupid Gang of San Miguel as they called themselves.

I then knew why I couldn’t see the Arrows.

This Gang uses invisible Love Arrows.

Now I understood, why people say Love is in the Air in San Miguel. They have been shot by the Cupid Gang

That is why there is so much LOVE in San Miguel.

This Gang, early each morning, makes sure there is always Love is in the Air.

AND there is more. This man is training to be in the Gang. It is so obvious he is an novitiate. There are no tights. Again men simply don’t get it in San Miguel. They have such trouble coming to terms with their feminine side. No doubt they will come but it might be tights that Superman or Batman would wear.

It is the Vatican of San Miguel. There are daily pilgrimages to the Biblioteca and in particular the free washrooms.

The election of new leader of the Biblioteca is anticipated all over town. The Enclave gathers in Teatro Santa Ana to begin the voting for a new President of the Biblioteca. Representative from all Good Works attend the Enclave.When a President has been elected the local Pollo Feliz announces the Election with a cloud of white smoke to signal success and black smoke for failure.

Today the Pollo Feliz announced a new President of the Biblioteca. It seems there is an election every Wednesday.

I buy my own clothes. None of my wives ever bought clothing for me and I resent finding women in the men’s clothing section doing that holding up and looking thing at every single item. Well I don’t resent them as much as the men who let their wives dress them. Come on guys buying clothes is not that difficult. Pick a color, know your size, buy 12 shirts at once and you are done.

If you fail to buy your own clothes then you become a fashion victim to your wife’s mood swings.

Here, honey, this color looks good on you and silk is so manly.

Yeah right. This man is a walking symbol of pay back. Some small event, in his married life, a while back, that he can’t remember but which she never forgot got paid back today. She sent him out looking like courtier in the court of Emperor Qin Shi Huangdi.
__________________________________________________________________ Sometimes dressing Hubby is less about payback than dressing him in what she thinks she thinks looks nice. Again men, if your wife buys you something, remember that whatever she buys is more about her than you. If you have no taste or simply don’t care then be prepared for snickers from those men in baseball caps and overshirts. If you see men look in your direction and see them punch poke each other and snicker, then you have a pretty good clue that your wife has you in something that Men Who Dress Themselves wouldn’t be caught dead in.

Many people in San Miguel can’t exist without a Woe a Day. If you don’t have art, nor good Works nor translating duties then Woes fills your day.

These Woes are distributed by the Gang of Woes. Just like like the gas vendors, and dirt vendors, and water vendors, the Gang of Woes walks the streets of San Miguel carrying their Back Pack of Woes to hand out to those who need a Woe or two.

The leader of the Gang is the Black Widow of Woes. Her task is to collect Woes for distribution to her Gang Members.

One of the most popular places to find Woes is near a church. The Black Widow stands in front of the church hoping to find a discarded Woe that she can catch and give to her Gang Members for distribution. Churches have many people who want to get rid of their Woes and here is a lady to collect them.

Once she has collected enough Woes, she will sit on a bench with a Back Pack of Woes and wait for someone to come by and ask for a Woe or Two.

What kinds of Woes does she give away.

Here is a partial list of San Miguel Woes.

Safety Woes – Safety Woes are the most common. Fear of robbery, break and enter, purse snatching and jostling are some of the common Safety Woes handed out daily.

Drug Gang Woes – This Woe needs no explanation. The Drug Lords are either here or getting closer day by day. There was a shooting in February in Celaya that turned into quite a Woe in San Miguel. From a simple Police Drug Issue it turned into a rumor that the gun toters were about to head to San Miguel to get the rich ones that live there. Big time Woe. (Okay nervous tourists, people do get shot in Mexico but I think they get shot at home too. In San Miguel all shots are with a camera)

Garbage and Litter Woes No one picks up. There is litter everywhere. Don’t they care.