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Excelleeeeeeeeennt!
That's why I kept telling you in IRC to go for it, eh?:P

I liked the interactions a lot. The sudden appearance of OC's in Negimaverse takes a bit getting used to, but it was made lighter by the fact that you and Keroko had been discussing about it in detail, so I pretty much know a fair bit about Keroko Negima version ( to Keroko for the awesome shop!) and Kouya.:3

It's poignant and sweet. You can pick up a lot of implied details already just from the scene alone. This has me anticipating your and Keroko's foray into Negimaverse in full force.

I still can't read it without feeling Keroko is going to kill me though, what with the implied yuri, mood swings... I tried to capture the spirit of a genki beserker type character but...

The appearance of OCs can just be an insert fic, or mean something more sinister; This is a series that plays with time itself, so my internal CLAMP storyboarder moved in and hijacked it.

At least people will then find more reason to read the fic.

I tried my best to capture the animation style (and humor) of Ken Akamatsu in this writing, but I wonder if I managed to convey the flashbacks properly...

That scene sort of bashed everything I thought about the Toushoran (Library, but switched the last radical to Wolf. ) + putting all those hi-tech weaponry of Chao's to good use + some crack from Keroko + a wild idea that just hit me when I was writing it. I mean, where in the world did I get the Khrack that Keroko's descendent is K--

*is shot by a Toushoran Hammerhead Railgun*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Anyway, I can't really be active for longer than I thought.:/ This thesis work is taking up much of my time. Though I priritize this a lot since I want to increase my CGPA, so I need to focus on other subjects as well. The only sure time I can return here is probably not gonna come until April of next year... T____T

*sob*

;___;

*pats Aaron*

The thing is, unlike other threads on the internet, this one shall live till then. We'd have more delicious stuff for you then. Maybe we'll finally have the Cadia Trinity!

Just as long as you don't disappear permanently as An Hero did... We'll wait for the return of Hayaurion!!!

*FLEEEEZ*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Oh, and, snippet.

Spoiler for GenerationS later part. Grandis vs. Signum pt.1:

The stage is set; the two sword-wielders facing each other up in the air. Their eyes burned with overwhelming strength of will as they faced their respective opponent. The two swords, one a silver falchion and the other, a pristine white longsword, gleamed brightly in the sunlight. A long period of silence passed as the two fighters sized each other up.

Signum broke the silence, stating her title, “I am Signum. The Sword Knight of the Wolkenritter…” she readied her sword, brandishing it forward with steely poise, “And this is Laevatein.”

The black-haired stranger replied in kind, “Grandis… Lacetti.” he held his sword forward “And Gottes Rächer.” he readied his stance, a grim smile spread across his face, as if stating his name was somehow a disgrace, “I do not think I deserve the right to follow the Knights’ custom, for I am not qualified. But,” peculiar dark flames, the color like that of dried blood sprouted out of the hilt of his sword and proceeded to cover the entire expanse of his blade, “That does not mean I won’t fight you with all my power.”

“I expect nothing less, if you expect yourself to last thru this battle…” Signum replied.

[Explosion!] echoed Laevatein’s mechanical voice; shooting out a single cartridge to cover Signum’s blade with flames as well.

“Then…” A dark violet Belkan symbol appeared beneath the male, closely followed by a magenta one under Signum, “Prepare yourself,” Grandis shot forward, trailing the crimson blaze emanating from his sword, “Knight Signum!!!” a short battle cry followed.

“Hmph.” Signum lunged forward as well, her own roar of battle leaving her throat as she clashed with Grandis in their first clash of blades.

A collision of swords, several sparks scattered into the air as the two blades collided with each other. One was an ivory longsword, the other a silver falchion; two swords as beautiful as they were deadly; their gleaming edges ripping through the air in insanely quick blurs. Numerous reverberations of steel against steel resounded so quickly in succession that almost only a single metallic ring can be heard; woven together as one continuous chain by the lightning-fast attacks of both combatants.

Signum broke the dance of swords first, sidestepping an attack and jumping back to gain distance.

[Explosion!] announced Laevatein as a single cartridge loaded. [Schlangenform!] the blades separated, forming a chain-linked whip of razor-sharp bits.

“Haaahh!!!” Signum lashed out with her chain-whip, aiming directly at Grandis’ head.

“Keh-!” Grandis batted away the serrated edges of Signum’s chain-whip, only to find them snapping back at him like a viper lunging at its prey. He jumped back a few meters after blocking yet another attack and plunged the edge of his blade into the ground. “Ascend!” he shouted.

[Mauer des Gaia.]

Slashing upward, he caused a large column of earth to rise unnaturally from the ground, blocking and absorbing almost the entirety of Signum’s attack.

“What the-!” Signum managed to blurt out as Grandis jumped from behind his earthen defense and shot towards her, his once again flaming blade upfront. She quickly imbued her scabbard with magenta-colored energy as she prepared to block his incoming attack.

“Hyaaah!” Gottes Racher slammed powerfully against Laevatein’s scabbard, sending Signum flying back several meters. Despite this, a small smile curved up her lips as Laevatine’s head came bearing down on Grandis from behind. He noticed and managed to block it just in time, his ear almost being cut off if he didn’t avoid in time.

“Tche.” Grandis gritted his teeth in annoyance, loading a single cartridge, he commanded, “Gottes…”

[Schwertform!] Laevatein chains links reattached themselves to each other, once again forming the falchion.

“Haah!” Signum slashed upward with both sword and scabbard, breaking Grandis’ attack and scattering the flames into the surroundings.

Grandis sent another wave towards Signum and rushed after his shot. Taking the safer course of action, Signum jumped up into the air to evade the incoming crescent of lame and made a shield appear beneath her feet, using it as a springboard to lunge towards the fast-approaching Grandis. She took Leavatein’s handle with both hands and struck simultaneously with her opponent as hard as she could.

*CLANG!!!*

The following impact sent a superheated shockwave of force exploding outwards from the meeting of the two blades. Both sword-users gritted their teeth as their blades grinded mercilessly against each other, both trying to push back the other with their physical power. A low growl escapes each of their lips as each blade loads a single cartridge and sprouts the contrasting flames of the two warriors.

As quickly as the deadlock happened, it broke, turning into an enraged flurry of cuts, thrusts and slashes that sent waves of fire flying around the two combatants. Once again, the two share an insanely fast exchange of attacks that they seemed to be surrounded by a sphere of roiling flames of two distinct colors.

And once again, they broke away from each other, only to rebound back to strike almost simultaneously. This exchange repeated several more times, the two combatants appearing like two flashes of light flying around the air and colliding against each other a number of times every second.

It was a spectacular site to behold; ripples of incinerating flame explode every time the two fighters clash in the air. The ground below them already bears several scars of their duel, with several craters and burning foliage scattered around the vicinity…

Another clash… the deadly dance of steel and flames being broken for the moment by another deadlock between Signum and her opponent… They pressed their swords against the other so powerfully that sparks burst constantly from when the two edges meet. Two pairs of blue eyes of varying shade, much like the color of their flames and magic glared at each other’s intensely. Their eyes belayed no hatred, only showing underlying strength and determination; as well as newfound respect for each other as combatants.

The standstill once again broke.

*CLANG!!!*

“I expected a lot from what I’ve heard about you, Knight Signum… And lo, and behold! It seems like even the rumors doesn’t do you justice.” Grandis was grinning slightly, lending a slightly out of place hint of viciousness in his otherwise genial visage.

*CLANG!!!*

“I’d commend your abilities as well, Lacetti.” Signum replied, smiling as well. She flies back a bit, with Grandis doing the same. They both ready their poses, regaining their breath as they size up each other for renewed set of assaults they knew would come soon afterwards. “As much as I’d like to fight you longer,” Signum started, “I cannot afford to waste my time here. If you’d forgive my selfishness…”

[Explosion!]

Two cartridges shot out from Laevatein, “I’ll have to end this soon, Grandis Lacetti.” She finished, making her scabbard disappear and holding her blade with both hands. A jet of flames sprouts from the shaft of her sword and proceeds to encase Laevatein’s blade with much more powerful flames than before.

“Hmm…” the black-haired man only smiled lightly in return, “Unfortunately,” he raised his sword with both hands above his head in a high stance, “That I cannot allow. Just as you have your duty as a Knight, I have my orders as a mercenary… It’s either I delay you for as long as required. Or..."

[Explosion!]

“I defeat you…” his unnatural dark flames once again wrapped around his own blade, “Any other result… is unacceptable!”

Signum smirked, “Then,” her smile vanished from her lips, replacing her expression with focus, her eyes sharpening, “…let’s see whose result will be obtained.”

“Gladly.” He answered, his own face becoming devoid of emotions, “En Garde!”

With a simultaneous roar, they flew towards each other at top speed, once again clashing in a vicious flare of divergent flames…

Excelleeeeeeeeennt!
That's why I kept telling you in IRC to go for it, eh?:P

I liked the interactions a lot. The sudden appearance of OC's in Negimaverse takes a bit getting used to, but it was made lighter by the fact that you and Keroko had been discussing about it in detail, so I pretty much know a fair bit about Keroko Negima version ( to Keroko for the awesome shop!) and Kouya.:3

It's poignant and sweet. You can pick up a lot of implied details already just from the scene alone. This has me anticipating your and Keroko's foray into Negimaverse in full force.

Anyway, I can't really be active for longer than I thought.:/ This thesis work is taking up much of my time. Though I priritize this a lot since I want to increase my CGPA, so I need to focus on other subjects as well. The only sure time I can return here is probably not gonna come until April of next year... T____T

*sob*

;___;

Oh, and, snippet.

Spoiler for GenerationS later part. Grandis vs. Signum pt.1:

-snip-

>_>

<_<

*RUNZ!!!*

=3 =3 =3

WIN!

Signum is certainly going all out, and the same for Grandis. Though, it seems that Grandis is having advantage right now with his elemental control. I wonder what's going to happen in Part 2 ...

Anyway, some minor nitpicks:

Spoiler for Errors:

“I expect nothing less, if you expect yourself to last *thru* this battle…” Signum replied. -- through

I... have returned...
From the barren wastes of the world, I have found my path, and returned here...

...And I bring with me... something... different.
Allow the OCs to explain.

Glen: "When Kagerou-san first began the Order of Freelance Mages, he had a vision of a unit that would mix firepower and magic, creating a diversion from canon that began to snowball out of control.

Emili: "With the introduction of elements from Halo - notably the weapons, certain characters, and a great deal of the equipment - the story of the Order became less of a fantasy and more of a military, harder science-fiction tale."

Erick: "And the story known as Alpha took that a step further, by eliminatin' anything that composed the canon. It destroyed the canon, and that not only alienated a lot o' people, but also made the story nothing like its base.

Franz: "Nanoha has no room for mindless space zombies, hulking giants in green armor, and a useless main character. So it was decided; it's time to return to our roots. By taking what worked, and removing what didn't, Kagerou-san has effectively... caused the Fate of Destruction, and the Joy of Rebirth."

Naomi: "Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha: Alpha is dead in the water; it no longer exists. Kagerou-san apologizes profusely, a thousand times over, for those who enjoyed it, and wishes that he could finish it. But he can't, not in the state it's in. It's time to fix things, to make them closer to canon, to reset his OCs and set them into the right direction."

Rena: "And so begins our story... we are the new characters. We're going to help everything be set straight. We are returning to canon, and putting our own little mix to it, just like a good Original Character should. We're going to diversify the ideas started by our predecessors, and continue that trend. We will fix the problems..."

Raye: "And create new wonders... or so we like to think. This is not only a rebirth, rebuild, recreation, or what have you. This is something new and exciting. Kagerou-san has found his spark again, what made him love to write, and now, he's going to start over. He's going to show you that he can write a good story, without diverging too strongly from canon; he's going to build us up slowly."

Aelita: "You will learn about us, and who we are. You will see a slow buildup of ideas, thoughts, rants, and feelings, creating a new vision for us, in Outer Cadia. We will unite the universe that Kagerou-san envisioned with the universe that we call Kerokanon. No longer will there be such a strong divergence. No longer will canon be smashed to pieces. It will be... extended."

Alexander: "The new Alpha - if it's even called that - will seek to unite Outer Cadia with that other thread, to give people who never come here a new outlook on us, to show us that we both can interact in such a way that they get us. We will make Keroko, Tesla, and Syn as if they were always there. We will make Kha and Fate's romance believable. We will take all of your thoughts and ideas, and we will expand on them. You, all of you, will be helping us... well, we hope."

Zirnitra: ". We are not the Order of Freelance Mages. From this point forward, the old Order is now Goose's, to do what he wants to with them, to do what he will, and make his former master proud. That's right, Goose; Kagerou-san is releasing you. He says it's time for you to make your own way in this place; time for you to do what you will. And Kagerou-san, he's going his own, bringing all with him, even you again, if you wish.

And of course, I already posted the nearly dissasterous (for Hayate) sequence of Clever Trap 2.

So you're going for the full putting-the-Aces-against-Earth-type-threars route, huh? Don't make them look too much like idiots.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kha

I did mention that Kouya is a blue-furred wolf. *coughZafiracough*

You’d probably know the other castes by now. The wolves have been battling the orks that grow underground and so far managed to prevent all of them from emerging topside. And most of all, no one knows where the Aun came from, except they somehow originated from within the Library to save the dying werewolf race.

Keep the references down though. Having the Aun as the 'leading caste' in title, but not bioligy keeps things from becoming to much of a blatant rip.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kha

Now the last problem is the Zatokigan (Means Time of Crisis in their language) equipment jackets… And the rest of the advanced weaponry that the non-Aun non-magical werewolves use to survive the rigors of underground life… I still need to make it feasible, but it’s got to do with the origins of the Aun, the books that were in the library, the Moonwell the wolves venerate and the Earth caste’s efforts to learn whatever they can from the labyrinth of knowledge they are sitting in and apply their discoveries for the greater good. And if it’s not enough, I’m already tempted to invoke Athena...

...I might be making a mistake.

Yeah. You are. If I were you I'd scrap that, the enire Zatokigan is just too much of a copy/paste from the Tau codex.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kha

>_>

...

<_<

...

*bombs*

Spoiler for Lesson 162.5 - See you in a Brighter Future -Khrack Extension!:

[I][CENTER][SIZE="4"]-snip-

I pray to the Light that I may be still alive tomorrow, for I fear that I may be painted for an Ion Cannon Breaker.

*starts running. Really, really REALLY FAST!*

.... I don't know what to say, really. Suffice to say that you're lucky that-

*trails of and looks up to the sky*

Oh... crap.

*six scarlet red beams rain down from the sky around the piece, and begin to move closer in a circular motion, when they reach the center, one giant beam slams down in the middle, obliterating everything in the area*

*climbs from under the ruble* right, as I was saying, there's a lot of stuff that does not compute.

First off, too much copy/paste! Seriously, I liked the little adition of the caste system to the Wolf clan to show their hierarchy, but the adition of the Mont'au was completely unecissary, and actually detracted from the strength you had given them earlier. I half felt like I was reading the bloody Tau codex there!

Secondly, like I said before, I'm going to shuffle things to make Caliburn Keroko's artefact, the Relic is what Chao will give her.

Now, I can't fault you for the errors in her personallity, (I need to finish her profile before I can do that) but suffice to say that there were a lot of areas that had a very OOC Keroko here (this Keroko is nowhere near as vulnerable as Nanoha Keroko).

Finally, the trigger I was talking about was Chao triggering the last remains of her memory about the TSAB. She doesn't have any memory of her Royal Belkan lineage to trigger, the discovery of that is all planned to be Mundus Magicus stuff (how, where and when are still undecided).

Semi-yuri made me though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Anyway, I can't really be active for longer than I thought.:/ This thesis work is taking up much of my time. Though I priritize this a lot since I want to increase my CGPA, so I need to focus on other subjects as well. The only sure time I can return here is probably not gonna come until April of next year... T____T

*sob*

;___;

Less IRC, more posting!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Oh, and, snippet.

Spoiler for GenerationS later part. Grandis vs. Signum pt.1:

-snip-

>_>

<_<

*RUNZ!!!*

You know, these two should get along just fine after Grandis gets Befriended. They're quite a lot alike, yet each with their own particular traits.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kagerou

I... have returned...
From the barren wastes of the world, I have found my path, and returned here...

...And I bring with me... something... different.
Allow the OCs to explain.

Spoiler for snip:

Glen: "When Kagerou-san first began the Order of Freelance Mages, he had a vision of a unit that would mix firepower and magic, creating a diversion from canon that began to snowball out of control.

Emili: "With the introduction of elements from Halo - notably the weapons, certain characters, and a great deal of the equipment - the story of the Order became less of a fantasy and more of a military, harder science-fiction tale."

Erick: "And the story known as Alpha took that a step further, by eliminatin' anything that composed the canon. It destroyed the canon, and that not only alienated a lot o' people, but also made the story nothing like its base.

Franz: "Nanoha has no room for mindless space zombies, hulking giants in green armor, and a useless main character. So it was decided; it's time to return to our roots. By taking what worked, and removing what didn't, Kagerou-san has effectively... caused the Fate of Destruction, and the Joy of Rebirth."

Naomi: "Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha: Alpha is dead in the water; it no longer exists. Kagerou-san apologizes profusely, a thousand times over, for those who enjoyed it, and wishes that he could finish it. But he can't, not in the state it's in. It's time to fix things, to make them closer to canon, to reset his OCs and set them into the right direction."

Rena: "And so begins our story... we are the new characters. We're going to help everything be set straight. We are returning to canon, and putting our own little mix to it, just like a good Original Character should. We're going to diversify the ideas started by our predecessors, and continue that trend. We will fix the problems..."

Raye: "And create new wonders... or so we like to think. This is not only a rebirth, rebuild, recreation, or what have you. This is something new and exciting. Kagerou-san has found his spark again, what made him love to write, and now, he's going to start over. He's going to show you that he can write a good story, without diverging too strongly from canon; he's going to build us up slowly."

Aelita: "You will learn about us, and who we are. You will see a slow buildup of ideas, thoughts, rants, and feelings, creating a new vision for us, in Outer Cadia. We will unite the universe that Kagerou-san envisioned with the universe that we call Kerokanon. No longer will there be such a strong divergence. No longer will canon be smashed to pieces. It will be... extended."

Alexander: "The new Alpha - if it's even called that - will seek to unite Outer Cadia with that other thread, to give people who never come here a new outlook on us, to show us that we both can interact in such a way that they get us. We will make Keroko, Tesla, and Syn as if they were always there. We will make Kha and Fate's romance believable. We will take all of your thoughts and ideas, and we will expand on them. You, all of you, will be helping us... well, we hope."

Zirnitra: ". We are not the Order of Freelance Mages. From this point forward, the old Order is now Goose's, to do what he wants to with them, to do what he will, and make his former master proud. That's right, Goose; Kagerou-san is releasing you. He says it's time for you to make your own way in this place; time for you to do what you will. And Kagerou-san, he's going his own, bringing all with him, even you again, if you wish.

We are The Black Order. And we invite you to help tell our story."

I can understand perfectly well where you're coming from. Sometimes you write stories with a perfect intention in mind, yet somewhere along the way you realize that what you are writing isn't what you really want to write. Writing becomes harder and harder, untill in the end its actually better to just call it quits and start something different.

I enjoyed Alpha, and I eagerly await what you are planning to write next.

And you think spending an entire day telling yourself you are GOING to fail would help push Crushing Blows off the table. But noooooooo I still got flattened by Impending Doom.

Yeah like PG said at least I know why it failed. Proper characterization will have to wait; but Chao and Aun combined into one tempting package, and like Kha, its too tempting to drop.

After all, I like turning traditional viewpoints on its head, and tribal werewolves were the first step, then came the realization that Chao had the weapons I wanted... And after what the wolves came up against as a result of the Tree getting drained for that powerful spell, it was all according to her plan.

Except the bit where they sent the best cadre under Shas'O'Remyr's command, along with Raika, Anna and other Aunshu masters, to the surface to support Kouya.

And so now I've been trying to go back to pre-Aun basics and I still end up back here.

I literally had a Khrack explosion, and had to write something, so I was expecting failure anyway.

Now this is my problem: I can't seem to let go of the contact between the Wolves and Chao. It's Belka all over again!

... please, please tell me this is just a scary dream, and we are not going to insert a show that ad me banging my head against a wall as a kid into the Nanohaverse. >_<
Yeah, I never liked Captain Planet.

See what I had posted up before hand. Rest assured that insert's are not my style so you'll never see the exact characters in Nanoha, but instead the underlying concepts under things.

Although it's likely that you'll never hear of them ever again

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Oh, and, snippet.

>_>

<_<

*RUNZ!!!*

-Comments-
You've introduced the swords in the opening lines, but then describe them again just after your youtube insert. You could probably kill one of those lines since you've just repeated yourself within half a page worth of text.

Anyway, I can't really be active for longer than I thought.:/ This thesis work is taking up much of my time. Though I prioritize this a lot since I want to increase my CGPA, so I need to focus on other subjects as well. The only sure time I can return here is probably not gonna come until April of next year... T____T

*sob*

;___;

Ganbatte!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron008R

Oh, and, snippet.

Spoiler for GenerationS later part. Grandis vs. Signum pt.1:

*snip*

>_>

<_<

*RUNZ!!!*

MORE!!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyral

he... hehehehe hahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
*head exprodez*

Aaron!! xD

The germa/belka word for explosion is Explosion!!

Exprozion... *shakes head in amusement*

>_>

Did Aaron just break Kyral with a single word?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

.... Aaron.... do you know what your snippet has spawned?!

Sigandis, that's what! Knights of the Swords, their wills clashing, a dance of hearts and blades, on the battlefield of love!

And you think spending an entire day telling yourself you are GOING to fail would help push Crushing Blows off the table. But noooooooo I still got flattened by Impending Doom.

Yeah like PG said at least I know why it failed. Proper characterization will have to wait; but Chao and Aun combined into one tempting package, and like Kha, its too tempting to drop.

After all, I like turning traditional viewpoints on its head, and tribal werewolves were the first step, then came the realization that Chao had the weapons I wanted... And after what the wolves came up against as a result of the Tree getting drained for that powerful spell, it was all according to her plan.

Except the bit where they sent the best cadre under Shas'O'Remyr's command, along with Raika, Anna and other Aunshu masters, to the surface to support Kouya.

And so now I've been trying to go back to pre-Aun basics and I still end up back here.

I literally had a Khrack explosion, and had to write something, so I was expecting failure anyway.

Now this is my problem: I can't seem to let go of the contact between the Wolves and Chao. It's Belka all over again!

You're going to have to drop it, Kha. Remember, the Wolf clan is shamanistic, they don't need Tau technology from Chao, and certainly not a Mont'au. Instead, try to think back to outlands, to the Mag'har, that's a far more acurate image for the Wolves. The Wolves and Tau don't mix, obviously, so scrap it and go back to something that does fit.

Don't stuff too much into them, if you have new ideas, create new factions and characters for them, but don't stuff all ideas into one of them.

Warning: following spoiler box is made of randomness. Feel free to ignore it if irks you.

Spoiler for random:

"Have you ever felt this before? The knowledge of inevitable dread that haunts you from the pit of your soul that something awful is about to happen?"

"This flame that once burned bright and fierce. Slowly burning itself away to extend its life. Is it pitiful? Or is it being foolish?"

"I no longer know. What was once clear to me, I do not understand now. Tell me what is true and what is false now."

"The magnificent siren that now lies cast in stone, buried in loss and fear. What shall become of her frost and flame? Shall they lie forgotten now that God has forsaken her?"

"The girl who never knew herself. Before she is ready to take her first step, providence stands as a cage to her cursed fate. The door of death opens wide from there. "

"Bitter from trust, the black hand sunders all before him,"

"The mortal and the god who wears the same mask. One's story has ended. The other is fated to carry his song for eternity."

"Sisters not of blood fall from the heavens. One sleeps in the earth while the other walks wearing a wraith's cloak. The armored King carries the broken heart. The sunlight that once shone brightly withers in the blizzard's grace."

"The remainder of an angel refuses to mend itself. The sorrowed knight takes his page to the ends of the world to look for her."

"Guardian Star of the Night can no longer shine the way. Mother Light of the Night becomes one with the Night once again. The false dawn is celebrated as the Night fades."

"The never-born laugh rises high as the cards scatter. The Kings bows before the Joker as he juggles fiery torches."

"Holding his pen high, the Storyteller continues his writing without a worry. Naught a tear is shed nor a smile is traced as the paintings of Life are brought before him. He has seen everything in existence yet he grasps for the riddle of tomorrow."

Hit by the sudden urge to write yet unable to direct it towards something meaningful, I have to resort to venting my frustration in simple words and posting it here. Though I hope it retains the slightest of value for being half-baked riddles of one thousand and one story ideas that has long been clogged in my mind that was released in this binge.

..though I have to say it feels great getting this out of my system through this selfish rant.

Intro:
They walk in the daylight and stalk in the shadows. They are assassins and soldiers, thieves and merchants. They strike from within and without. The mind is their weapon, their body is their tool. Considered by some to be the highest form of human evolution, they are number one in their fields.

To some, they are vigilantes hiding under a banner. To others, they are the scalpel cutting out the infection. They are nothing more, in their own eyes, than people sent to do their mission: protection, infiltration, assassination... all of these is easy to do in their eyes. It's… living that's the problem.

They are front line soldiers and home front operatives. And these are their chronicles. These are their faces; these are their stories.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce to you, the Black Order.

There are only twenty three people in this secretive division of loosely-knit TSAB operatives. Hailing from an Administered World held close to home yet half a dimension away, the soldiers of the Order are dedicated to the cause and to the advancement of the Time-Space Administration Bureau. Led by the eccentric Erick von Long and his assistants, Captains Glen Schattenman and Emili Nailo and the Lieutenants Franz and Naomi Jaeger, the Order goes upon a self-imposed crusade against the enemies of the TSAB. Never resting, never tiring, these genetically altered soldiers walk the thin red line between saving the TSAB... or destroying it.

The twenty-three men and women are divided into 3 divisions, depending on the leader. The "face" of the Order is called Porewit Division, and consists of the remaining "old timers" of the Order; the passing of the first generation, who founded the Order over fifty years ago. This division keeps up with the other two, passes along orders, and maintains a leash on the boundary between good and evil that the Order treads. The second division is the Jarilo division; these are the makers and breakers of war in the Order, special super-soldiers that enter battle alongside their Bureau allies and inspire confidence, increase morale, bolster numbers and forces, only to fade away sooner or later. Of the 3 divisions, Jarilo is the one that sees the most action.

The Chronicle of the Black Order, however, revolves around the third and final division of mages. They are called the Maroflins Division, and are easily the most dangerous division of the Order. This entire division was created from before the members were born, fine tuned to their unique gifts as they matured, and would become one of the Order's, if not the Bureau's, most threatening division. Their talents are as unique as their personalities, and any one member could be protecting a Bureau official, while another plans the assassination of a rogue agent. These five boys and girls - for indeed, that's all they are - are built and bred for their missions, and know nothing outside of it. And for these five, the chronicle of the Order begins, and ends, with them.

Cast:
Though normally led by Captain Schattenman, the old man usually leaves the leading to Zirnitra Ackerson, the young commanding officer of Maroflins when his superior isn't around. Like the others, he is built for his duty, but he has something they do not; where most of the others take orders, Zirnitra has the ability to give them, and question the orders of his superiors. He is meticulous and precise in his work, and when the five are gathered for a mission of importance, they follow his orders.

His second in command is Rena Ackerson, his sister. Though they lead together, Zirnitra did not choose her because she was family; rather, he chose her as his protector and XO; no more, no less. Although she cannot find it in herself to question orders from superiors, Rena has incredible empathy; her empathy is so attuned to those in her unit that she can feel what the others are, even when they themselves are not aware of it. Coupled with her ability to heal people with magic, and she becomes the lifeline of the division when they are together.

The other members are no less important:

- Alexander Nagant is a skilled manipulator and con artist, able to lie to someone without breaking a sweat or missing a beat, and is able to keep a straight face, even when killing someone; this has earned him the honorary title of "Psycho" from the other members of Maroflins, a name which he loves yet scorns.

- Aelita Spiro, an ace pilot and tracker. Not only able to fly almost anything smaller than a capital ship, but Aelita has mastery over flight of herself too. Her keen senses allow her to track people across miles, and her forensics skills are also highly advanced.

- Raye Shinalt, the unofficial "glass cannon" of the Maroflins division. Though her skills compared to the others are weak in many areas, she has high mana efficiency, and can use most types of Midchildan-school spells. She styles herself on providing maximum coverage and extreme-range sniping, and relies on her device to track enemies for her while she casts spells.

Height: 5’ 11”Weight: 170Build: Very lightEyes: BlueHair: BrownOther Features: Very handsome, Zirnitra’s eyes have a “piercing” quality that sticks out. He has several earrings and a necklace with a red gem, presumably his Device, considering its ability to speak and process mana.

Voice Actor: Mamoru Miyano

TSAB Profile:ERROR! No profile exists for Ackerson, Ezekiel. Please try a different name or Military ID number.

Personality:
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Ezekiel (“I prefer Zirnitra, if you would kindly…”), as the leader of the Maroflins Division, has a very powerful authority air about him. When he gives orders to the others, they tend to listen without question, as their loyalty drives kicks into gear and they do exactly as told. Zirnitra is a proud leader, and though he doesn’t show it, cares deeply for the lives of the others in his unit, and is constantly checking up on their status. As the leader, Zirnitra isn’t afraid to question the orders of those above him, to ensure that whatever order he sends his men and women on, they’ll return safely, as they’ll have all the details. He leaves no stone unturned, an utmost perfectionist when on-duty, and will stop at nothing short of allowing his own people to die to complete the mission.

When off-duty, Zirnitra is much more relaxed, though through genetic engineering and years of training, he is on a state of constant alert, and can go back into action at the drop of a needle. He is quite the kind individual, very personable and friendly. He never discusses his occupation or mission with anyone, only those in his unit; not even those he would trust with his life, would be allow them to know of the Black Order. Such is his loyalty to his unit. Furthermore, he believes, if anyone else were to learn about them, it might cause chaos.

Abilities:
As a soldier trained from birth, Zirnitra has been taught a number of combat-oriented skills. First and foremost, he has great knowledge in several martial arts; he isn’t master level by far, but he is definitely more than effectively trained in them to kill with his bare hands. He also utilizes throwing knives very well, and has access to a myriad of various assassination tools and techniques. His Barrier Jacket also comes equipped with glider fins and spell cards in case a situation arises where Zirnitra needs a spell he cannot cast.

In the area of magic, Zirnitra’s unique talent is his illusion magic. He is one of the few illusionists able to directly affect the mind of his enemy.

Spoiler for Spell List:

Spell List:Yama, the Death Dealer: Zirnitra’s Intelligent Device only has one form; that of a red gem on his necklace. Its only use is to constantly process mana and to provide as a magical set of eyes and ears to him.

Attack Spells:
Type-1 Melee Attack, Mana Strike: Zirnitra focuses his mana into a weapon, concentrated in or on his hands. Usually it’s nothing more than an aura of gray energy around them, amplifying his attack power, though in other cases he might create a longer weapon to deal with other situations. He cannot make ranged weapons with this spell, as the mana has to be connected to its point of origin.
(Damage: C-A [Depending on mana concentrated]; Speed: A [Requires casting triangle only on initial charge]; Range: F-E [Melee]; Mana Drain: C-A [The mana drain depends on the damage and “sharpness” of the spell.])

Type-1 Ranged Attack, Stun Blast: Like Sonic Flash, but instead of the flash and sound effect, the explosion does minor damage directly to any nearby opponent’s nervous system, stunning them briefly, depending on how close they are to the explosion (anywhere from 1 to 5 seconds).
(Damage: E; Speed: AA; Range: D; Mana Drain: D)

Phantom Assault: An illusion is thrust into an opponent’s mind of several copies of Zirnitra attacking the target all at once. If the target fails to disbelieve the illusion as reality, then the mind is damaged temporarily. If the target has a Linker Core, it forces the core to try and restore the mind, draining mana.
(Damage: C (Mental); Speed: B; Range: C; Mana Drain: C)

Sensory Overload: Zirnitra touches the back of the target’s neck, causing the target to be stricken deaf and blind temporarily (the duration is much longer than that of Sonic Flash). Does no real damage otherwise.
(Damage: N/A; Speed: A; Range: F-E; Mana Drain: C)

Solipsism: The target believes that everything around them is an illusion, causing them to become helpless as it tries to disbelieve the “illusions” around them. For a lot of fun, Zirnitra casts this spell twice.
(Damage: N/A (Mental); Speed: C; Range: C; Mana Drain: A)

Nightmare: Anyone who has line of sight to Zirnitra sees their worst fear come true. If they fail to disbelieve, they die.
(Damage: Fatal or N/A; Speed: D; Range: B/Line-of-Sight; Mana Drain: AAA)

Barrier Jacket: Zirnitra’s Barrier Jacket is designed for only the most basic of defenses, and instead focuses on maximum mobility. It’s second form, Heavy Combat Barrier Jacket, is virtually the opposite, and adds several layers of armored plating on vital areas for defense.
(Defense: D/A; Mobility: AAA/C; Drain: D/A)

Spoiler for Barrier Jacket:

Illusion Spells:Black Cloak: Zirnitra’s cloaking spell; functions like Tea’s Optic Hide but has more efficient mana use, depending on how much light is in the area.
(Effect: Cloak; Speed: A; Mana Drain: D-A (Depends on light))

Swarm: The target suddenly feels like thousands of bugs are on them, causing them to be shaken, so long as they’re afraid of thousands of bugs on them.
(Effect: Stun; Speed: B; Drain: C)

Misleading Image: Simultaneously, Zirnitra cloaks and is replaced with an image of himself he can control. He can do this spell extremely fast, but its drain is higher than most of his spells.
(Effect: Copy; Speed: AAA; Drain: A)

Blink: Zirnitra rapidly disappears and reappears in a flash of grey light. If Zirnitra attacks upon coming out of the Blink, the effect is known as a Blink Strike.
(Effect: Warp; Speed: AA; Mana Drain: B)

TSAB Profile:ERROR! No profile exists for Ackerson, Rena. Please try a different name or Military ID number.

Personality:
- Alignment: Chaotic Good
Rena is Zirnitra’s sister, and compared to his powerful personality, displays the tone of a kind young girl, always ready to do the right thing. Since the Order’s nature taught her loyalty to the TSAB rather than to law, she does what’s best for everyone. Her affinity to healing magic has left her with a deep compassion for people, one that she shares with Aelita, and causes her to butt heads with Raye, who shows a disregard for those around her. During battle, she tends to stay back and operate as the healer of the group, mending wounds with her magic, and only engaging in combat when attacked.

Abilities:
Like Zirnitra, Rena was trained by birth to be a perfect soldier; or rather, in her case, a medic. She is a master Field Medic, able to do anything in the middle of an operation that doesn’t require the heavy equipment of a full-fledged hospital. She carries with her also various utility equipment to help out the others.

As noted, Rena’s magic affinity is for healing magic, and she has access to a wide variety of spells in that school. She also has access to a wide variety of utility spells.
In some situations, Rena has been known to reverse healing spells to force them to cause damage.

Spoiler for Spell List:

Spell List:Apollo, the Life Bringer: Rena’s Intelligent Device is a silver quarterstaff-sized object capped with a white orb on top.

Type-2 Ranged Attack, Force Shot: Rena fires off anywhere from one to six magical bolts of energy, directed at one target. These bolts work similar to semi-active homing missiles, meaning that they are guided toward their target so long as Rena has the orb of Apollo pointed at it.
(Damage: B; Speed: B+; Range: C; Mana Drain: C)

Type-4 Ranged Attack, Force Beam: Rena’s charges magical energy, centered on the tip of Apollo, and fires it. This spell does high damage and has a fast charge rate for a bombardment-type spell, but it can’t hit more than one target.
(Damage: A; Speed: C; Range: B; Mana Drain: B)

Slay Living: By reversing the mana that allows for healing, Rena can instead suck away the life force of someone, which can kill if they do not resist it strongly enough.
(Damage: Fatal or E; Speed: B; Range: F; Mana Drain: A)

Defensive Spells:
Type-2 Field Defense, Healing Field: A field pops up, surrounding Rena and any nearby allies. Although a standard field on its own, this spell enhances the effect of healing spells done within the barrier.
(Defense: B; Speed: A; Mana Drain: C)

Type-3 Shield Defense, Feedback Shield: Rena summons a circular shield for defense. If the shield is hit by a spell with any sort of magic within it, the shield absorbs up to 40% of the magical energy and uses it to replenish Rena’s own magic pool.
(Defense: A; Speed: A; Mana Drain: B)

Barrier Jacket: Rena’s Barrier Jacket achieves a balance of Mobility and Defense while minimizing mana drain. Like Zirnitra’s, it’s developed for low visibility, resembling a black kunoichi’s outfit from feudal Japan days and coming with a black mask that covers all but her eyes. Her barrier jacket comes with an extra long scarf that trails behind her.
(Defense: B; Mobility: B; Mana Drain: C)

Martyrdom: Rena’s healing spell when she is nearly out of mana. Rena touches a target and takes their injuries upon herself, healing them but damaging her.
(Healing: D-AAA; Speed: AA; Mana Drain: E; Extra effect: Life drain on caster)

Paralysis Heal: Rena can remove any paralysis from the target short of permanent or lasting damage. The reverse is Paralyzing Touch.
(Healing: Paralyze; Speed: A; Mana Drain: C)

Regeneration: Rena imbues a target with healing magic, allowing them to recover from injuries constantly, though not at a battle-ready rate. She uses this spell when in between fights.
(Healing: B (Healing over Time); Speed: A; Mana Drain: D)

Restoration: A wave of magic touches a target, healing them of any crippling injuries that the basic Heal spell can recover. This spell can be reversed into Destruction.
(Healing: A (Non-standard heal); Speed: B; Mana Drain: B)

Remedy: Rena can remove several ailments with this spell, including but not limited to: Temporary blindness/deafness, disease, nausea, and poison. This spell can be reversed into Give Ailment.
(Healing: B (Non-standard); Speed: C; Mana Drain: B)

Resurrection: By focusing her magical energy into a corpse, Rena can bring a target back to life, suffice if they haven’t been dead for too long (depending on the condition of the body, “too long” can be anywhere from seconds to hours).
(Healing: S (Rez); Speed: D; Mana Drain: AAA)

Dispel: Rena can counteract any persistent magic spells for a limited time, such as flight or charge spells.
(Effect: Delay; Speed: C; Mana Drain: D-A (Duration))

Binding Grip: Standard binding spell, with the caveat that Rena has to make a fist with one of her hands to keep the spell in effect.
(Effect: Bind; Speed: B; Mana Drain: C)

Blindsight: Rena can cast this spell on her or a nearby target, granting them the ability to see without their eyes.
(Effect: Sight; Speed: A; Mana Drain: D)

Spoiler for The History of the Ackersons:

History:
Like many children in the Black Order, Zirnitra and Rena weren’t born; they were created, conceived, in a test tube on their homeworld. Scientists reached in and manipulated DNA, seeking to create the perfect soldier from birth. As their embryos matured into an infant form, they slowly began to inject chemicals and drugs into their systems, strengthening their muscles and hardening their bones. When they were finally “born”, they were two out of 400 children, and like these 400, they was placed into a family unit, and from infancy to age 6 Zirnitra and Rena were raised mostly as normal children; unlike many children created in the program, their family truly cared about them, and did not give them the brainwashing narcotics that the government wanted them to give to their children. As a result, when the two were six years of age and forcefully removed from their family, they didn’t go along quietly, and their family was to be punished for their disloyalty to the government. Due to the siblings’ nature, they waited until the kids were out of sight before they killed the “parents”.

Zirnitra was a rebel during his formative years in an unnamed training facility on the far side of this world’s moon. The brainwashing narcotics – the ones meant to induce total loyalty – had a diminished effect on Zirnitra , considering that he had not been given the drug as he was supposed to have gotten. Originally, they were to dispose of the failed subject, but his intuitiveness outweighed the loyalty factor, and the government decided that they would have to make him loyal slowly, over time. On the other hand, the drugs had a powerful effect on Rena, and at one point they had left her catatonic for several months; only Zirnitra’s repeated interventions prevented Rena from being killed.

As Zirnitra and the rest of the now 392 children of the program lived in this facility, they were exposed to harsh living conditions meant to strengthen them both physically and mentally, as well as given chemical and drug injections meant to further the same. The drugs were powerful and terrible, and by the time Zirnitra and Rena were 9, there were mere 120 children left in the program. As the children’s individual personalities developed, they began to be separated off from each other and given hard courses in magic, as well as received certain mana injections that would further the development of their Linker Cores beyond that of the average mage. This highly dangerous process killed many more, and by the time they were 12, there were merely 30 children left. The intense physical, mental, and magical training had created 30 perfect soldiers, and fourteen of these children were placed into the world’s elite unit, the Black Order, while the remaining children were made to protect the homeworld from threat.

Within the Black Order, the children were further trained in physical and magical arts, but at a much relaxed pace. The Order’s leader, Erick von Long, sought to actually raise these children rather than use them as tools, and for the next several years of their lives, the children of the Black Order would slowly become more human, at the cost of the development they could have had. At 13, Zirnitra would start to be sent on missions, and it was here that Zirnitra’s unique talents, those of stealth and illusion, would become useful.

Zirnitra had no problem the first time he killed someone in the name of the TSAB; at least, not outwardly. Within, he was conflicted, even moreso than those in his Maroflins Division, who had all been taught to feel by Erick. Without the brainwashing, Zirnitra was decidedly more human than the others, and taking a life was hard for him, very hard. But as a leader, he was taught to hold it in and deal with it at a later time, although thanks to Rena he could more easily deal with his problems. While he was out on missions, Rena would stay back and keep him linked to her, and their “synchronization” became so powerful over the course of time that they became inseparable, not just because of “blood” bonds but because of their gifts.

Throughout the history of their lives, Rena and Zirnitra have had multiple points of contact with the three Aces – Nanoha Takamchi, Fate Harlown, and Hayate Yagami – but rarely did they directly associate with them. In several cases, the two siblings would act as distant bodyguards for the group in their earlier years, although these had become increasingly uncommon during the Riot Force 6 time period. Only in several cases in the following years, will the two suddenly have closer contact to them, than ever before.