3 Effective Ways to Get Good at Saying No

There are many ways to put assertiveness into practice, specific tools and techniques can be very powerful in helping you gain confidence and happier more secure relationships. You can find a number of these methods in the book How Kind People Get Tough, along with ​case studies and the online free companion course

In the meantime, I’m going to share with you 3 tips from the book.

These tips are about Mastering the Art of Saying No – something that we all struggle with!

Stop telling yourself that you can’t say no

If you keep telling yourself something it reinforces the belief that it must be true. Next time you catch yourself saying, or thinking

I’m not good at saying No, do the following:

Don’t try to push that thought away because resisting it will only make it stronger. Instead, notice the thought and follow it up with something like

“I haven’t been good at saying ‘No’, but I’m learning how to get better at it now”

How Kind People Get Tough is based on more than 25 years helping clients gain confidence, ​ happier relationships and more fulfilling lives.

Including case studies, tools, tips and techniques on being truly assertive, in ​ kind and effective ways.​

PLUS Free Online Companion Courseto help you put the tools, tips and techniques into practice.

Learn to Shut up!

Sometimes communication is simply about handing someone a message. Full stop. They may come back with an opposing point of view - but letting go of the need to engage in conversation about it is very powerful indeed. If you’re clear in your mind about what you want to say, you only really need to say it once, possibly twice.

If you keep saying the same thing over and over, the other person just hears nagging and white noise. So just say what you need to say, and then shut up!

Transferable No’s

If you find it difficult to say No to a specific person, or in specific situations, start a practice of saying No to smaller things.

I’m not suggesting you stubbornly say ‘No’ to every little request but consider those times when you automatically say ‘Yes’ where you could say ‘No’.

Practice your small ‘No’s and your subconscious will get used to the idea that saying ‘No’ is an ok and normal thing to do.

It will also prepare others for the more challenging ‘No’s’

These are simple tips but start practicing them now, and you’ll see a big difference in your confidence, your relationships, your success – all of your life!

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Hi Marlene,
This was really good info for today. LJ

Counselling and Therapy Online and Algarve

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2020-01-18T10:19:11+00:00

Hi Marlene, This was really good info for today. LJ

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Marléne - I look forward to receiving your email each week - it has been a great help JD

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2020-01-18T10:05:49+00:00

Marléne - I look forward to receiving your email each week - it has been a great help JD

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Hi Marléne, I love these inspirational emails and want to thank you LA

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2020-01-18T10:16:18+00:00

Hi Marléne, I love these inspirational emails and want to thank you LA

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I don't quite know how you do it but you always seem to pop up in my inbox when needed.

Counselling and Therapy Online and Algarve

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2020-01-18T10:10:55+00:00

I don't quite know how you do it but you always seem to pop up in my inbox when needed.

Again, thank you for your mailouts. You were quite pivotal in helping me to recognize the 'rescue' habit that I...

Counselling and Therapy Online and Algarve

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2019-08-28T08:19:14+01:00

Again, thank you for your mailouts. You were quite pivotal in helping me to recognize the 'rescue' habit that I had frequently been engaging in. I'm sure this e-mail will help many of your subscribers. D.R

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This week's email definitely brought up memories of our discussions and I appreciated the reminder. AA

Counselling and Therapy Online and Algarve

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2019-08-28T08:19:55+01:00

This week's email definitely brought up memories of our discussions and I appreciated the reminder. AA