Saturday, July 25, 2009

With the college football season approaching, I want to ask one simple question. Is it too much to wish that Tim Tebow suffer a career ending injury?

I'm not wishing this because I am an alumni of the University of Tennessee. Rather, it's because Tebow is such a self-promoting blowhard, with the right mix of conservative values that make sportscasters go ga-ga. He writes bible versus on his eye black patches so that we can all see what a Christian he is. He is tough and shows up every day. He talks about God constantly. In the championship game last January, play by play man Thom Brennanman went over the top, proclaiming (in a slight paraphrase since I'm not going to spend time searching for the actual quote) "If you spend 5 minutes with Tim Tebow, you will be a better person." That disgusting statement of actual love (rather than, oh I don't know, impartiality) rivals Joe Buck and Tim McCarver's decade long fellation of Derek Jeter, Dan Dierdorf proclaiming that he wished he could be Jerry Rice for one day, and Buck's own moral outrage with Randy Moss fake mooned the Green Bay Packers crowd after scoring a touchdown as the worst moments of sportscasting I have ever seen.Now, Tebow claims he is a virgin. Why should I care about this? I don't care what his sexual history is. But of course, everyone else does. He's living his faith! He's a prime example of white American manhood! He's a model for our children to follow!

Man, I can't wait for the allegations that he got someone pregnant. That's going to be awesome, on the level of Sarah Palin's daughter getting pregnant after Palin pushed abstinence-only education level of awesome.

As for rooting for the career ending injury, since Tebow has taken out a $2 million insurance policy on his own body, I don't see who loses here. Truth be told, I'm not sure I've ever loathed a college football player as much as Tebow. Maybe former Washington QB Chris Chandler, who said that losing to Oregon was the most embarrassing moment of his life. But that's about it.