Well, I've been lurking here for a month or so, and I figured its time to go ahead and introduce myself to everyone. I've been hesitant to say hello because it seems that my poly situation (yes, a triad) and my status (a unicorn, I suppose) can be a bit of a touchy situation on here. I have found great solace in reading so many of your stories and I decided to speak up at least to say thank you to so many of you that have been so open in sharing your stories, your struggles and your triumphs. Each poly story I read makes me feel less alone and I have already learned so much from so many of you!
I will call my partners Grace and Sam. About 3 months ago Sam found me on okcupid and introduced himself. He was very clear from the get-go that he and his wife were hoping to find a girlfriend and that they were looking for much more than just a sexual adventure. His first message was so sweet and thoughtful, that I kind of figured "eh, what the hell...". He sent me to Grace's page and we all emailed for a week or so before meeting.
From day one we all got pretty swept up in the NRE and the first month is a blur of very little sleep and that total chaos that a new relationship can bring. None of us has ever been in a poly relationship before, and Grace and I are somewhat (not totally!) new to being with another woman. Needless to say, we have already encountered all sort of hurdles, and joys, and unexpected mis-steps. I will be the first to say that I had no idea what I was getting myself into!
Grace and Sam have a wonderful relationship. They communicate beautifully and are so in love (after 10 years together and almost 8 of marriage!). They talked about opening their marriage for a long time and did a lot of communicating beforehand. Seeing how they treat each other after years together is SO encouraging to me.
We have encountered a lot of the problems that I am now learning are so common in this type of relationship. So far we have been able to talk through our issues and we are all committed to making this work. It is A LOT harder than I had anticipated, and I have had to push myself to become much more open and communicative.
I want very, very much to make this work. I care deeply for both of them and I can envision a future where the three of us are together. I am also realistic, and I understand the pitfalls of this situation. It is a tough one, and I battle my demons on a semi-regular basis.
So anyway, I could go on and on, but I won't (at least for now). I hope that years from now I will be here to tell other beginning triad-ers that it is possible and it can work. Only time will tell.
Thanks again to all of you that have put your heart on your sleeve in these forums...you mean a lot to us beginners!