Comments

Thanks very much for your comments, chaps. Will take up most of your suggestions, Ray, and ta for them, although maybe not the Barga verse. I think I'm looking for a certain awkwardness of rhythm at times. Yes, John, it's been a while.

Enjoyed the poem a lot, Greg.Nice portrait. Too many full stops for my liking, prefer more of a flow.
First verse is good, 3rd verse is very good, except I don't think you need "In bombing". I really like the gouge like a bandage.

Walled, hilltop village of his childhood:

as another war came, he returned to Barga.

Those 2 lines are begging to be swapped around! I know you'd need a rhyme for Barga.Father?

I wonder if canvasses could be singular? Helps the rhythm, I think.
In the last verse I don't think you need "just" before painted roofs.