It is a time of fear in the face of freedom, a time of an emptying country and swelling cities, a time for the widening of previous roads and the opening of new paths, yet a time when these paths are mined by knowing algorithms of the all-seeing eye. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection. These are the times when maps fade, old landmarks crumble and direction is lost. Forwards is backwards now, so we glance sideways at the strange lands through which we are all passing, knowing for certain only that our destination has disappeared. We are unready to meet these times, but we proceed nonetheless, adapting as we wander, reshaping the Earth with every tread. Behind us we have left the old times, the standard times, the high times. Welcome to the irregular times.

Revelation: The DNC Certified Obama as Qualified. It's a Scandal!

OK, folks, are you ready for the latest Barack Obama conspiracy theory? Take a deep breath and hold onto your seats, because here it is:

Back in 2008, the Democratic National Committee made the following declaration, with notarized signatures and everything:

Aha! You see? This is the nail in the coffin! This document clearly shows that…

… um,
… er,

… that the DNC and Democratic Party leaders declared that Barack Obama was nominated and is constitutionally eligible to be President?

NOOOOOOO, reply the Barack Obama conspiracy theorists! That’s not what it means at all! We just don’t understand!! By declaring in signed and notarized affirmations that Barack Obama IS constitutionally eligible to be President, the Democrats have fully demonstrated that Barack Obama IS NOT constitutionally eligible to be President!!! Really!!!!! No, really really!!!!!!!!!

You want to know why? Oh, this is the real cherry on top. It’s delicious. Ready? Take a deep breath. Here’s their reason:

You see, on the same day that the DNC signed and notarized an affirmation that Barack Obama was nominated as their candidate AND is constitutionally eligible for the office of President, the DNC also signed and notarized another document in addition, an affirmation that Barack Obama was nominated as their candidate:

I got a pair, too. Apparently, through them you can see that Obama is responsible for the recession and the war in Afghanistan, even though both happened before he was elected. These goggles are pretty powerful!

Perhaps none of you guys also knew that on his very first day in office, Obama gave an executive order to seal all HIS OWN personal records. No president has ever BEGAN his term by immediately covering up – of all things – his OWN IDENTITY!?!? Even without that little important tid-bit to help you, uh, properly interpret other events, one has to ask why in the world would anybody deliberately remove language regarding elgibility from the form already supplied to them, and essentially RE-DO THE WHOLE FORM, but WITHOUT that crucial last phrase?

Use your head (c’mon, you’re allowed; it’s OK; it might hurt a bit at first, but you’ll get the hang of it…)

There’s only one reason somebody would do that, isn’t there? And it’s NOT so that we’d all be provoked into arguing with each other about it for years afterwards.

Can you show me where, besides on right wing conspiracy theory sites, there’s evidence for that executive order? Other executive orders are described on the White House web site. Where is the one you’re talking about? What’s its number?

Jim Winchester is getting his presidents confused. It’s George W. Bush who issued Executive Order 13233, which allowed sitting presidents, former presidents, and the heirs of former presidents to deny the public the right to presidential documents.

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