Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Struggles With Flexibility

I have such trouble being flexible with my schedule. Is anyone else like that? It is so frustrating to me that I can't deal better with unexpected happenings that would alter my schedule a bit. I am dissapointed in myself for not better dealing with change. This is one way my selfishness definitely rears it's face. I have a planner...I like to be organized....I like to keep things on schedule as much as possible. When something "interferes" with my plans...I get stressed. I am totally not proud of this characteristic of mine...it is something I truly struggle with.

Once...when I was pregnant with Jaxson...my mom, a couple cousins, me and my kiddos, were all going to go to the zoo that was a couple hours drive away. We had a time set that they were going to meet at my house and then we would leave....well...they were late...alot late. And it totally had me stressing and grumpy. It was definitely not one of my shining moments. Did we still get to the zoo OK?....yes! But was I grumpy for the trip TO the zoo?....yes. :(

There have been more important things that arise as well...that would put a sudden change in my schedule. I have gotten stressed and maxed about it....thus having the person who was asking the favor feel the need to alter their schedule even more so as not to "stress" me. :o( Oh my goodness....I sit in pure embarrassment! How selfish of me to impart more struggles onto someone else because of my own need to keep everything "just-just".

I truly desire to live an orderly, scheduled and well balanced life while still being able to adjust easily to changes to enable me to be a help to others. This is a HUGE thing for me...and I need to learn to be more selfless....especially in this category. Does anyone else struggle with this too? Or have you struggled with this in the past...and if so...how have you overcome it? I will definitely be (and already have been) praying about this issue...but I would love advice on how anyone else has overcome this!

It may sound so easy as to say "Well..just get over it!" and that is true....but it is seriously such a struggle for me. I can tend to sometimes be so rigid about trying to keep my life orderly so it can be more "simple" and I end up making it more difficult & then it interferes with my Christian Witness! :( I would love to hear your thoughts on this!!!! Thanks so much!

I can relate Katy... the slightest little bump in MY ORDER (tee hee) sends me into orbit. I think it has something to do with being a control freak. (Which I am, BIG TIME. I must control the universe! LOL)

I used to be a lot more stressed about time schedules and crossing everything off the list than I am now. I think having kids has helped me with that. I have come to realize that my life is not my own. I made the choice to be a Mom and have other people in my world, so I have learned to adapt to that--somewhat. I still like to be organized and have a plan, but sometimes unexpected events or time conflicts can be a blessing. The other day, my Karissa needed some extra TLC, and I had a LIST a MILE long to do. We went for a walk--just she and I. She told me, while we were walking, that I was the best Mom in the world. Unexpected--a blessing. I didn't get the list done, not even close. But I wouldn't have traded the time with Karissa for anything. I have a saying in my house that says, "ENJOY THE JOURNEY". Life is a journey--one road, detour, accident,and vacation at a time. It's great!! Have a nice, relaxed day, Katy. Julie

I can relate to this as I struggle with this from time to time as well. I feel life is so busy all the time that when a bump comes along it seems to take me that much longer just to get my basic daily duties done. I get stressed when I have to compromise anything that has to do with my kids so I become a bit selfish and just say no. It's hard for me to do but I would rather my children have mommy than a crazy frazzled lady. Does this makes sense? I do understand adjustments need to be made from time to time but I have many friends that over-extend their lives and their kids and to be honest, I see no joy in that lifestyle. I'm with you, I desire a well-balanced life, so every morning I pray for a servants heart and discernment. I'm not sure if this helps any but please know you're not alone.

Katy, I am like that too~~impatient and inflexible. If I had been in your shoes with field trip, I would have been miserable all day and perhaps made others that way as well. It's difficult because of the three of us children, I am the only one who is on time or early for everything; my mother instilled that in us, and my grown brothers have rebelled (unless it comes to work, of course).

Our house is pretty messy, because we've had guests over the last 2 days, plus the computer broke (which required some time fixing) - and I absolutely hate it!

The thing with the zoo.. I can totally relate to that. It's a Dutch thing to come 'on time or even a little early', and I'm a total Dutchie when it comes to that!

I'd rather be 30 minutes early than 5 minutes late.... Maybe that's also because I've already missed 2 airplanes due to 'someone being late' (not me!) And trying to get a new ticket while on the airport is a lonnnnnng and painful journey, especially with a baby .. *lol* ;)

I can relate too Katy...especially with timekeeping, I am always early for everything! Maybe part of it is just being a parent...we have to have things organised and we like our kids to obey, so that kinda spills over into the rest of our life. I think there is an element of control freak in every Mother!! Having said all that, I pray daily for grace towards others...I'd rather be easygoing and nice to get along with.

I am a bit the other way. I very rarely remember to diarise things and even when I do, I forget to look at my diary lol I need more planning and organisation and that is something I strive for. The only thing that bothers me is when I plan to have an unplanned day (sounds strange huh :D) and then I get a phone call from my parents or someone else wanting to come over. That stresses me and I usually don't enjoy the visit.

I keep a calendar on the wall of the things that need to get done for the week. I get 95-100% of them done because I don't have a set date and time to do them. I do them as I 'feel like it.' Sure I do them in order of priority but don't keep a strict schedule especially since I have a 5 year old and newborn to care for. I use to do as the pedi. said and feed Joseph 2 oz every 2 hours. Now I just read into his cues and feed when he's ready. Life has been so much easier since then. I'm not constantly looking at the clock thinking about when to feed him. :) Now there is one thing I am strict about doing on time..and that's Katelin's bedtime!

Oh Katy, I completely understand. From as early as I can remember, I was so organized and together ... a bit OCD in all seriousness. Though I do think a schedule is admirable and wise, I took it to the point of allowing it control my life ... and everyone living with me. At some point, I realized that it was stealing my joy and didn't allow me to just respond to the needs of others. BUT I couldn't change it. It was so frustrating.

I finally realized that I just had to give it to the Lord. And He took that burden from me. Even now, I sometimes look around and comment how I could have never let that particular incident or little mess go before. Now I can. Now I can see a pretty day that the Lord has provided, look at my agenda and say, boys, put the books away, we're having a nature day! It has made our homeschool a much happier one as well.

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He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.~Isaiah 40:11

"The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. "~ Thomas Moore

"Thank goodness I was never sent to school; it would have rubbed off some of the originality."~ Beatrix Potter

"The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career. "~ C.S. Lewis"The secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life, and in elevating them to art."~William Morris

"I have no faith in that woman who talks of grace and glory abroad, and uses no soap and water at home. Let the buttons be on the shirts, let the children's socks be mended, let the roast mutton be done to a turn, let the house be as neat as a new pin, and the home be as happy as home can be."