Saturday, May 23, 2015

It doesn't matter if the group is a church or a gang or a sewing circle or masculinity itself, asking members to dislike, disown, or distance themselves from another group of people as a condition of "belonging" is always about control and power. I think we have to question the intentions of any group that insists on disdain toward other people as a membership requirement. It may be disguised as belonging, but real belonging doesn't necessitate disdain.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

So here we go, you and me. Because what else are we going to do? Say no? Say no to an opportunity that may be slightly out of our comfort zone? Quiet our voice because we are worried it is not perfect? I believe great people do things before they are ready.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Emotional blackmailers encourage us to take global responsibility for their complaints and unhappiness, doing all they can to reprogram the basic and necessary mechanisms of appropriate guilt into an undeserved-guilt production line where the lights continually flash guilty, guilty, guilty.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Listen, selfishly, what people need to understand is
that equality for one group of people is not just about that group, it
is about you as well. When one group of people is singled out and
treated different for who they are, who is to say
that the group you belong to won’t be next in line? History is a
testament to that fact as well. If one of us not equal, none of us is
equal.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

I am saturated in digital life and I want to return to the actual world again. I'm a human being before I am a writer; and a writer before I am a blogger, and although it's been a joy and a privilege to have helped pioneer a genuinely new form of writing, I yearn for other, older forms. I want to read again, slowly, carefully. I want to absorb a difficult book and walk around in my own thoughts with it for a while. I want to have an idea and let it slowly take shape, rather than be instantly blogged. I want to write long essays that can answer more deeply and subtly the many questions that the Dish years have presented to me. I want to write a book.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

You write and then cook something and write some more. You put your hand on your heart and feel it beating and decide if what you wrote feels true. You do it because the doing of it is the thing. The doing is the thing. The talking and worrying and thinking is not the thing. That is what I know. Writing the book is about writing the book.

Monday, May 11, 2015

When we receive a kindness from a blackmailer, it's not soon forgotten. More like an open-ended loan than a gift, it's always got payments attached -- with interest -- and we can never seem to get out of the red. The emphasis is on the blackmailer's sacrifices, made not with an open heart but with the intention of scoring points, accumulating markers that can be called in.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

I grew up in the era of the Civil Rights and Women’s
Rights Movements. I saw the power of white people marching with African
American people, and of men marching with women. When the majority
steps up and sides with the minority, great change
can happen. So, as a straight person, with great pride, I take my
responsibility seriously to stand arm-in-arm with my [LGBT] family,
friends, and fans, and the community as a whole.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Self-definition and self-determination is about the many varied decisions that we make to compose and journey toward ourselves, about the audacity and strength to proclaim, create, and evolve into who we know ourselves to be. It's okay if your personal definition is in a constant state of flux as you navigate the world.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

When I think of my own efforts to be everything to everyone -- something that women are socialized to do -- I can see how every move I make just ensnares me even more. Every effort to twist my way out of the web just leads to becoming more stuck. That's because every choice has consequences or leads to someone being disappointed.