I'd like to briefly discuss the tire cover you see in the image above. It is the finest tire cover ever made, and I periodically scout eBay and other websites searching for it, and I never find it, which makes me very sad. Someday, somewhere out there, I will find The Tire Cover.

Let's back up to the story behind the tire cover. About three years ago, in early 2015, I went to Malta, which is this unusual island smack-dab in the middle of the Mediterranean. Malta was very interesting for many reasons, but one of them was the cars: It was a right-hand-drive country very far from other right-hand-drive countries, so they sourced cars from wherever they could find them. Many cars came from Japan.

That apparently includes this Suzuki, which I photographed in Malta's ancient city of Mdina. The Suzuki is not especially unusual (particularly on Malta, as Suzuki has made an entire business out of selling small SUVs to people on islands), but the tire cover is: It's just hilarious. First off, the words "SUZUKI LIKES NATURE," are each printed in a vastly different size and font, with "LIKES" and "NATURE" in wonderfully 1990s colors. And why does Suzuki like nature? Why doesn't Suzuki love nature? And what was this even trying to accomplish? Convincing people that Suzuki is giving back to the world around us … through tire cover advertising?

I'm not especially convinced, especially considering the only apparent proof we have that Suzuki actually likes nature is this bird at the top of the tire cover. I'm not sure if it's a penguin or something else, but it's a rather amateurish drawing, and it's just the bird's head and beak. No other nature to speak of.

I find this tire cover so stupid that I'm irrationally drawn to it, and I'd love to stick it on the back of my Land Rover Defender. Unfortunately, my Defender has massive all-terrain tires, so it'd never fit, but I would find some way. Just like Suzuki has found a way to let us know their feelings on nature.

Doug DeMuro is an automotive journalist who has written for many online and magazine publications. He once owned a Nissan Cube and a Ferrari 360 Modena. At the same time.

This image is a stock photo and is not an exact representation of any vehicle offered for sale. Advertised vehicles of this model may have styling, trim levels, colors and optional equipment that differ from the stock photo.