“And their coming down the home stretch, almost to the finish line. It’s the muse in the lead and still going strong with the characters on her heels. Bringing up the rear is Exhausted Author still typing away like a mad woman! Will Exhausted Author’s coffee keep her going long enough to at least cross the finish line or will she collapse on the track and need to be put down? Stay tuned we’ll come back to the race after this commercial break!”

*cue horrible commercial music and some vapid actor to peddle a product you don’t need, will never use, and can’t really afford anyway*