10. Have a night of mutual masturbation

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An ideal alternative to intercourse is to have a night where you and you lover take turns manually pleasing yourselves. Sometimes, you just want it the way you want it! Get out some lube and candles and apply some to each other, then prop yourselves up on pillows so that you won’t miss the show! Lie close to each other and kiss each other often, especially the neck, breast and belly areas so that you have body-to-body contact and you can really see.

Each person has spots on their genitals that are more sensitive than others, so watch where she starts touching herself as one side of the clitoris or the clitoral shaft may have more pleasure zones than the other. You may like your balls touched or pulled, or your perineum stroked, and she needs to see that too. Watching your partner as they use their own hands is a great teaching tool as you both get turned on by the visual display.

Hot pillow talk to encourage each other is magical! You might even want to place your hand softly over hers as she touches herself to learn the right pressure. Offer to “lend a hand” if she requests it. Internal stimulation at the same time may help her over the edge to bliss! Hold each other tightly as you come to bind you together in intimacy.