Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

It is official. I am now a single guy once again. The long courtship and romance is over. It is finished. Finito. Kaput. There is no going back. I can’t as it was truly too painful for me. Family tried to warn me to end the relationship a long time ago. They didn’t like to see me on bad days crying and all curled up on the couch in pain. I knew I was hurting, but I was in love.

It was an unhealthy relationship from the beginning. All of my friends saw what I couldn’t. It is true what they say, “Love is blind.” I gave it my all and it didn’t work out, or maybe I should take the blame and say I didn’t work out. I didn’t, really I didn’t work out. I know I should have because as a typical guy the way to my heart was through my stomach. I gained 15 pounds in this relationship.

I thought it would work out. We had a friendship since I was a little boy. I think my parents introduced us, but it’s not their fault it didn’t work out. They introduced us many years ago, but it was me that pursued the relationship throughout all of these years. I should have regrets, but I don’t. I don’t have regrets that I wasn’t 100% loyal either. I admit I cheated several times. I think all guys do. You are away on a business trip, you see something new and you want it. But I always went back to the relationship because not only was it my first love, it honestly was my soul mate.

For every reason, there is a season, and this relationship has ended.

So, Goodbye McDonald’s, I will always love you (especially the McRib), but the doctors will no longer allow me to see you. They say I have gastroparesis.

Just wondering random WordPress accounts, I read this and thought ‘What kind of freak would post something this personal online?’ When I got to the last paragraph, I could only thank you for doing so. Did you have your rebound yet?

When the McRib first came out years ago, I was away on business and…starving after a long trip…raced to the town’s McDonald’s and promptly ate several. I can’t recall the exact number, but I was so excited to try them and so darn hungry I couldn’t help but ordering…several. They were wonderful…however…the resulting “issues” after throwing down…several…led to a quick annulment of my brief marriage to the McRib. A one-night fling.