“Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph.”
Haile Selassie

Friday, November 4, 2011

A Diversion from Politics: Do Men and Women Have the Same Sex Drive?

I thought I would take a diversion from politics this morning. Yesterday, conservative me was in a Broad Ripple watering hole surrounded by three liberals friends. The issue came up about a survey in a magazine that could be interpreted as sending the message to young women that they were not normal if they were not engaging in promiscuous behavior. I had an ally in the argument that the survey could send the wrong message to young women.

Then, in the process of making a point, I stated that men on average had a stronger sex drive than women. You would have thought I said the world was flat. I suddenly found myself the lone voice for this position.

So I considered the long-shot possibility I was wrong and did some research on the subject. Turns out the evidence overwhelmingly backs my position. WebMD has a long article on the subject. This is how it starts out:

Birds do it, bees do it, and men do it any old time. But women will only do it if the candles are scented just right -- and their partner has done the dishes first. A stereotype, sure, but is it true? Do men really have stronger sex drives than women?

Well, yes, they do. Study after study illustrates that men's sex drives are not only stronger than women's, but much more straightforward. The sources of women's libidos, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down.

...

The lengthy article then goes on and talks about various factors and studies that support the conclusion not only that they have different sex drives, but that for women sex is much more of an emotional experience than it is for men.

As far as the sex drives, a friend of mine put it best when he said, "Who do female prostitutes service?" Men. Who do male prostitutes service?" Men. Sure there are exceptions, but those amount to a tiny fraction of such activities and those exceptions do not swallow the general rule.

In pointing out the differences in the sexes, I did not mean to excuse male promiscuity or married men having affairs. I don't buy for a second the claim some men make that they can't control their animal urges. Rather my point was that, for women, sex is much more likely to be an emotional experience than it is with men, which reasons are outlined in the WebMD article. Thus, the emotional consequences for engaging in random romps in the hay are usually more substantial for women than it is for men. For women seeking sexual partners in a night on the town, it usually isn't about raging hormones but rather about the need for a connection with another human being, often simply an emotional connection.

It's nice to hold onto the liberal fantasy that women and men are the same when it comes to sex. But medical science and everyday observation say that fantasy is not reality.

Among those with the largest number of sexual partners, females are by far the greater percentage. Female prostitutes may be serving mostly men, but the women doing the serving have many more partners than the men being served.

Since the stain of Puritanism is hard to erase, it is still contended that women typically have less sexual desire. So both the reactionary conservatives and the reactionary feminists have constructed myths of female prostitution as an outcome of male oppression and female economic hardship. Baloney. By and large female prostitutes have strong libidos and enjoy their endeavors. The oppression that most concerns prostitutes is that which prevents them from engaging in the work they take pleasure in doing.

Men Value Cuddling, Women Value Sex, Says New Research On Relationship Satisfaction

July 10, 2011

Men who reported frequently kissing or cuddling with their partners were on average three times as happy with their relationships as men who reported limited interaction. Perhaps more surprising, the study found it was sexual satisfaction that was more important to women in long-term relationships.

About Me

I have been an attorney since the Fall of 1987. I have worked in every branch of government, including a stint as a Deputy Attorney General, a clerk for a judge on the Indiana Court of Appeals, and I have worked three sessions at the Indiana State Senate.
During my time as a lawyer, I have worked not only in various government positions, but also in private practice as a trial attorney handing an assortment of mostly civil cases.
I have also been politically active and run this blog in an effort to add my voice to those calling for reform.