Jupiter Ascending [2015] ★½

Don’t let Oscar season convince you that this isn’t a disappointing start of the year for movies. Have you seen “Mortdecai” and “Taken 3”? And wait till you get a load of “Jupiter Ascending”, the new mess by The Wachowski siblings. Smirky acting, clumsy writing and clueless direction. What happened you guys? The Wachowskis wanted to make a big budget science fiction movie that their faithful fans would embrace without hesitation. And “Jupiter Ascending” , reportedly budgeted at $175 million with a mix of live-action and computer effects, is the hyperkinetic result. In terms of coherence, the movie is a mess, a relentlessly adrenalized story about a young woman named Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), who was born as her mother immigrated from Russia to the United States. Now she lives with her extended family in Chicago, where she works as a maid. But it is quickly revealed that Jupiter is actually the reincarnated matriarch of a family of wealthy intergalactic aliens. Still with me? Good, cause a lot of stuff happen from that moment on and I’m getting a headache just thinking about it. I mean even die-hard fans of the siblings will find it hard to sit through this punishing 125 minutes as the Wachowskis throw their cotton-candy dreams all over the big screen. Before you jump off the ride, let this be said: The Wachowskis are meticulous with every technical detail. Their images are so beautiful to look at. But where’s the personal connection? As in “The Matrix”, the Wachowskis create an alternate world with style and vision. But this time the machines win. “Jupiter Ascending” feels untouched by human hands.