Sure, we'd all like to have a sturdy, permanent guillotine in the home. We'd all like to have a high-qualty piece of craftsmanship that we can pass on to our children. But if you're just getting started--such as moving in to your first apartment--then you also need to save money. That's where the Søkkømb comes in. It's a flat pack, ready-to-assemble execution engine that makes a tasteful contribution to any home decor. Here's how the manufacturer describes it:

Are you full of energy? Have you lots of things to do and too little time to do them? Are you increasingly annoyed by all those criminals, immigrants and petty people who should just be got rid of? Your dynamic, active rhythm demands quick, summary justice and you are the person to do it. Too bad you just don’t have the time.

You are the person we thought aboutwhen we designed Søkkømb, an easily-assembled guillotine for the whole family. A practical solution, quick and clean, ideal for all your security needs. By assembling Søkkømb in the comfort of your own living room, you can relax safe in the knowledge that the punishment will fit the crime. So you can finally be your own boss in your own house.

Søkkømb is made from the best solid pine and comes equipped with a sturdy blade in stainless steel. It is light and versatile and is guaranteed effective for up to 100 executions a day.

Several will be available in European IKEA stores in the future. But if you really want one now, you can bid on one that's up for auction with Paddle8 (warning: flashing images).