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When to throw in the towel??

My baby boy is 5 1/2 months old and has only gained 10 ounces in 3 1/2 months. He went from the 50% in weight to not being on the charts anymore. He has been on prevacid and zantac for almost three weeks. His wet and poopy diapers are ok, but not great. His wet diapers were really bad before his 4 month check up. My period returned around 4 1/2 months. Almost every nursing is a struggle with him fighting me. We cosleep, I wear him, he's with me all the time and I feed whenever he wants. I take Fenugreek 3 times a day, eat oatmeal for breakfast. We have seen a Pediatric GI and will have a follow up next Tuesday, but I don't know if I can do it anymore. I hate not knowing if he's hungry, tired or in pain. I'm not even sure if we were to start supplementing with formula how we would go about it? How much do you give after each feeding? I pump about 3 ounces every night but I'm not sure what to even do with that. He refuses solids. What do you do when your baby is no longer the happy healthy baby he used to be? How do you know?

Re: When to throw in the towel??

mama That sounds really frustrating! What does his pedi say about the slow gain?
A few things that struck me in your post... 1. If his diapers a good that's a good thing!
2. He's not LOSING weight!
3. Three ounces is a full feeding! That's three hours worth of food for some babies
But I also completely understand why you are alarmed. 10 ounces in 3 1/2 months is definitely not what we mamas hope for and might be signaling a problem. I have a few questions. Is he being weighed on the same scale and with no clothes or diaper? Is he a happy baby? And with regard to your supply, you said your fertility returned, any chance you are pregnant? What IS his diaper output?

I'm Colleen
Mama to
Silas born May 2009 ~ Nursed 18 mos, weaned during pregnancy, unweaned at 24 months, still nursing when he feels like it
Lola born March 2011 ~ The Mary Lou Retton of toddler nursing
Married to Brandon
Using cloth on both bums

Re: When to throw in the towel??

He has been labeled "failure to thrive" I'm pretty sure at a 3 month check up he was 12lbs 12oz and at his 4 month check up he was 12lbs 3oz. His last 3 check ups he has been weighed on the same scale naked. His last weight check was 12lbs 12 oz. But then at the GI he was 12lbs 9oz (different scale) He is NOT a happy baby, he was perfect for the first 3 months, sleeping great at night, pleasant during the day. Definitely not pregnant. He's cloth diapered and most days one poopy diaper and wet diapers maybe 4. I'm sure I could change him more and they would be a bit wet but not really wet.

Re: When to throw in the towel??

Oh mama What advice is the doctor giving you? How many times a day does he eat? If you are going to supplement with bottles do you think you can add some pumping sessions? Something that was helpful for us when my son was little and not nursing enough was to dream feed him. While he was sleeping I'd gently nudge his mouth open with my breast and he'd eat while he slept.

I'm Colleen
Mama to
Silas born May 2009 ~ Nursed 18 mos, weaned during pregnancy, unweaned at 24 months, still nursing when he feels like it
Lola born March 2011 ~ The Mary Lou Retton of toddler nursing
Married to Brandon
Using cloth on both bums

Re: When to throw in the towel??

I still give formula, but to get started I did the little 2oz bottles of premade similac 4 times a day after nursing. After my boy started gaining we stopped giving him bottles except for 1 and evening, usually 4-6 ozs. I tried cutting it out when everything was going good but he stopped gaining.

I feel your pain momma, don't give up. Hugs!

Mommy to Eddie (2/22/11)

We started at 4.9lbs and now are at 16.5lbs! With lots of love, breast feeding and a little help from formula he's catching up fast!

Re: When to throw in the towel??

After his 4 month check up they wanted me to follow each feeding with Neosure, but he refused. After that we had a really good week, wet diapers, good bm and great feedings, then it went bad again and they started him on the Zantac and the Prevacid (previously he was on just one of those) and referred us to the GI doctor. The GI doctor suggested to follow each feeding with my ebm, but that is all gone now. They did some blood work this past Tuesday and on Thursday I had one of his poopy diapers checked for blood, negative. We go back in a week and a half to the GI for an ultrasound and to meet with a nutritionist. I have tried to dream nurse him and he usually wakes up crying. He does not nurse to sleep or comfort nurse. I'm scared that if I start the formula that there will be no going back.

Re: When to throw in the towel??

So he wouldn't take the Neosure, but he will take a bottle of expressed milk?

How often are you able to pump? Are you able to get any milk if you pump after nursing? 3 ounces is a feeding, so you've got one supplemental feeding covered right there.

I hope the nutritionist will be helpful. I'd also suggest looking for a board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) if you haven't already met with one. An IBCLC should be able to help you figure out the best way to supplement and still keep nursing, if that's what you want to do. Breastfeeding doesn't have to be all or nothing. It may be that as you're able to deal with the problems he's having, nursing will get easier.

Re: When to throw in the towel??

My DD had weight gain issues due to bad latch. My LC has me start supplements. I used a SNS to feed my DD at the breast with the supplement, then pump and at the next feeding use the EBM I got and some formula depending on how much I was able to pump.

I was as upset as you are.

Once her weight gain was ok, I started to wean her off the supplement and was able to get her off all the supplements except the before bed feeding, which I just accepted. I also got off the pump and just gave her 2 oz of formula after bfing each night. She's now 22 lbs at 12 months and just dropped the formula at night in the last few weeks.

It was a lot of work, but very worth it because she got to bf this long, and bfing is so much more than nutrition.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it is so hard when your LO is not happy. You're doing a great job mama! Take a look at this http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/decrease-formula.html to help with the weaning if you do go the supplements route. Kellymom is full of good info, click around.

Mirkka

Mama to DD born September 7, 2010, and DS born October 28, 2012 and Wife to DH July 5, 2008

Re: When to throw in the towel??

Mama, I am sorry. What a difficult and stressful situation you must be in. Just wanted to say that I know someone whose baby had such dpsevere reflux that he was on the verge of being labeled FTT. It took a long, long time for them to find the right balance with reflux meeds. The baby is a year now, and while he was a little peanut for a long, long time he now has some beautiful chub on him. And he is otherwise healthy and happy and developing just as he should. I know that's just an anecdote, but at least it's a hopeful one...

Re: When to throw in the towel??

Thank you all for your support. I really appreciate it. After nursing my twins for almost 2 1/2 years I thought this one would be a breeze, especially with the first 3 months going sooo well. I did supplement my girls but was really hoping to just nurse this one (the little bugger). I am going to continue to pump at night and start to feed it to him the following day. I guess as long as his wet diapers don't get any worse we will keep going the way we are and hope that tomorrow will be better. Do you suggest to just give him all the ebm at one time or space it out through the day? Like I wonder if I give it to him before bed, will he sleep longer and then not eat as much or sooner after that? kwim? or do an ounce after 3 or 4 feedings?