If you're not offended by the following list of things I hate
hearing on any dating profile that I always see, whether it applies
to you or not:

"I'm not your average girl" average response

"I'm different/unique/unusual" see above reasoning why this is
wrong

"I want a man to take care of me" you already have parents and I
work too hard to carry anyone with me who can't manage on their
own

"Yo homez, I'm a queen lookin' fer duh kng in dis shiz." the amount
of time it took for autocorrect to let me make that many mistakes
is only a better reason why I can't stand that kind of line. You're
an adult. You had English class for a reason. Use it. Also, you're
not a queen and I don't serve anyone shit unless it's a shot I'm
paid to pour.

If your 5 things you couldn't live without consists of more than 2
of the following:

My family,
God,
Religion,
The Bible,
Weed,
Water,
Oxygen,

Seriously, I know you need oxygen. You're not a goddamn
mermaid.

If you are a transsexuals, pre or post op, you get all my respect
for being you, but put that on your profile. No one wants a
surprise like that all of a sudden and it's setting you up for
heartbreak.

"I'm just here looking for friends/I'm already happily married"
Leave. Right now. This is a goddamn dating site. Don't be offended
when you're married on a dating site and people ask if ya wanna
cheat. What did you goddamn expect?

Absolutely NOTHING. An empty profile. OR, EVEN WORSE, you fill out
the sections with absolutely NO worthwhile information that says
you apart from literally anyone walking past my store door. Combine
that with no profile pic of yourself and you're basically nothing
to me because you portray yourself that way, as nothing.

And who started this new trend of only posting a pic of yourself
from behind so all we see if your back or the back of your head?
This is the dumbest shit I've ever seen. I get it, you don't want
us to judge you by your appearance, but all it says to me is that
you either have no confidence, don't care if anyone messages you at
all which defeats the purpose of making a profile on this site
completely, or most offensive to me is using some sultry or
evocative picture trying to show off your body when 90% of men will
focus on a woman's fave before anything. EVEN WHEN WATCHING PORN
almost all men stare at the FACE most of all without even realizing
it.