Thursday, 10 March 2005

Still here? Why am I not surprised? Pfft! Girls! Well, International Womens Day is over so I get to complain about girls. Right, moving along.

He's Just Not That Into You because you're just so fucking annoying.

Apparently, the hottest book on the market for women right now is He's Just Not That Into You: The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys authored by the story editor of Sex and the City et al. Simply put, its a no-nonsense guide book for women about men. The book has taken the world by storm, translated into many different languages, and selling faster than a $2 prostitute. Seriously, its the next big book on love and relationships since Men are from Mars, and Women Love Penis.

Yes. That's my book. I know. Shut up.

I'll be honest. I've not yet read the book. I'm not much of a book reader. In fact, the last book I've ever read from start to finish was Sam's Teach Yourself Visual Basic in 21 Days.

But judging by the transformation of girls I know who have read the book *cough*alli_talli*cough*lc_nguyen*cough*lilyng*cough*, I think I have a pretty good idea what the book is all about.

GIRLS! Calm down! For god's sakes, us men are not supposed to be the creature that's hard to understand! That's YOUR job! But hey, I don't see them publishing a book titled A Guide to Understanding PMS do they? Why do you even need a book to understand guys?!

Think about it... a book about understanding MEN? What the fork? Men are the easiest species to understand!

Hey, we're not the species who takes 3 hours putting on make up only go to a totally pitch-black cinema! We don't have 50 uncomfortable shoes from Vincci instead of 2 comfortable ones from Nike! We don't find excuses spending RM2,000 on a Louis Vuitton handbag when we can have an X800 Radeon graphics card! (PS. Its ok Nicole baby, I still love you!) A BOOK ABOUT UNDERSTANDING MEN! What next? A book for women about how to read a map?

Still, I give them props to be able to sell a book that essentially tells you straight to your face you are not loved! And then tries to act all sweet with that You are exceptional, not the exception line.

Girls who have read He's Just Not That Into You usually describe it with "That's sooooo true!", praising it like its the most factual book since The Bible. They become enlightened because after reading the book, they understand the reasons to all their woes. Then, they suddenly transform into relationship experts for all their friends, writing a 5000 word reply at one go, repeatedly quoting "If he's into you he will BLAH, but because he's just not that into you so BLAH". Yet, somehow they still manage to become even more confused than they are BEFORE they read the book. Example (plagiarised from the comment section of www.xanga.com/alli_talli without permission. ;) Thanks Alli!):

sigh - strap yourself in girl, cos this is going to be a long reply. remember what greg said: YOU ARE EXCEPTIONAL, BUT NOT THE EXCEPTION - if he really is into you, then HE would have done all the things in his power to make you happy, not sad and to please you by now. no ifs, no buts, no i'm busy with school or work or your family is weird or any of that bullshit. when he doesn't call or be at a place when you expect him to be, if he has an answer for everything and criticises you, if he takes hours or days to reply - thats your answer. if he really is into you, he would move effing mountains! i know - it was so harsh when i read it but its true, isn't it? because if u put the situation in reverse, ANY guy that we're in love with, we'd put first - so the fact taht they're making us do all the work or jerking us around ("you call me" bullshit) shows that "they're just not that into us." its hard to walk away, especially if you're a loyal person - sometimes its like youre so strong and take three steps forward but tons of steps back. i dont think you should take what he says with a grain of salt jen ---- THIS IS THE SALT! ahaha. this is the cold hard UGLY DISGUSTING SICK DEPRAVED, SO SOO DEPRAVED truth - omg i so feel like alanis morissette right now. if he wanted to: he would have. as for being kiss deprived ... 1.5 years is long. then again, i waited like 21 years for a DECENT one (i'm excluding ones from high school and that one girlfriend I kissed... thats for another time) - and sure, like its sad when the person you SO WANTED to be kissing for a bloody long time isnt there to kiss you anymore (because he's just not that into you) and you when people tell you "youre young and there's so many more to come" - they tell you the best way to get OVER someone is to get UNDER someone else but its like aaargh - i dont want a hundred men, i just happen to want the one ... one who "is just not into me". so that's the answer, i think. not really an answer because i 've managed to confuse my own self even more but i know how you feel! ahaha. i mean, you know ridiculous it is right? to pine and PINE like some pathetic creature meanwhile they're happy and contented and settled and have TOTALLY MOVED ON? when you think about how much of *your* GORGEOUS LOOKS you're wasting (it's a different story for me, but YOU! HELOOO!), when you think about how much time and ENERGY this is taking away from you, when you think about how much this is distracting you from things that REALLY matter like school or your career - when you think about all this when he couldn't give a flying fuck - when you think about it in this light, welll, i dont know about you ,but it makes me just want to say "fuck this" i'm so over feeling like this - it'd be better (so i'm assuming, i wouldnt' know) to know that they wanted you but ... "they're just not into you". you may not be over him, but i think being OVER IT is the first step. so my dear there's just one thing to say: DONT WASTE THE PRETTY! (even if youre still hanging out with him and he performs conversational masturbation on you ... he still isnt that into you) ;)

(Diplomatic message interjection: No offense to Alli and the other girls that I have mentioned in this entry. Nothing against you all. :) I think you are all smart beautiful women, exceptional not the exception and all that kinda stuff. But I'm just a little bit annoyed but the book... just a little bit. Anyway, you can always flame me back later! heh)

All I want to say to girls who have read that book (or those who are about to read that book) is CHILL OUT! Just because we didn't make you the super-duper-number-one on our priority list doesn't mean that we don't love you. We could be sitting on our throne taking a dump before we decide to call you, because hell, shitting is more important than calling you, you know? Please don't expect us to move mountains when its difficult enough trying to decipher what "Anything-lah" means when we're ordering food for you at the restaurant and then having to put up with your black face because Anything-lah actually meant Grilled Fish instead of Chicken Pasta.

LADIES! If you want to understand men, let kennysia.com tell you in one simple line.

There's only one thing, just ONE THING that on our mind when it comes to girls. And that's the three-letter-word that starts with "S" and ends with "X".

Come on! Do you seriously think that we will stop reading just because you said
"Girls, please do not read this one. This entry is for men only."
It's like saying "Don't throw me on the briarbush!" to the fox.

I haven't read the book but I won't undermind its importance either. I admit that some girls still need to be told what to do. So if it takes a book to tell them that the guy they don't really care so much about don't really care about them either, then so be it. It sure saves the best friends from the depressing slumber parties and pints of ice cream after the break-up.

Hey...i used to read the first book titled, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", but i didn't finish reading that book though. I do not agree entirely with what was written in that book....sometimes we just have to use our senses and logics to judge a person :)

we all know that self help books are there for people who need help, and in this case, it's for all the women obsessively in love with that one man who just doesn't reciprocate. It's a niche (or a yawning crevasse) we all fall into at some point, and all the encouraging girlfriends in the world can't help us. ergo, it's a book for the love-sick. don't diss it :p having said that, you're one funny dude.

quesarah, the end of womankind? It'll make women end up with too high expectations of men! The end of mankind!

noorhidayatnoordin, please don't orgasm here at the thought of an X800. :)

kampung gal, mmmm.... slumber parties. *fantasizes* seriously though. i just find the whole concept of a book about understand men as useful as a book about how to sit on a chair. i know some ppl need the book and i know what you meant, though hearing everyone quoting it does annoy me to no end. :)

mrkiasu - HEH! when i write my first book, i'll let you know!

meigie - Me neither. I kinda stopped after learning men are like rubberbands and women are like waves. What they didn't mention is that women are not like sea waves... more like tsunami waves.

tangerine, i diss it harshly for sake of humour. So, no harm intended to people who read it... so long as they don't say You're Exceptional, Not the exception again, i'll be a happy man!

MunKit, really? does the defence department really employ men as decrypters and women as encrypters?

you fail to get the whole point of the book because a) you are a guy and will never experience the barrage of utter bullshit we as women have had to endure and b) you dont want to take time to understand the book because you see it as a personal attack on ALL men ... which it isn't, only lying cheating pricks and assholes who have an excuse for everything, string girls along at their own convenience, think it's ok to promise big things but not deliver et al, need I continue? it's not about something as trivial as "oh he didn't call me back in five minutes" ... but the bigger picture.

the book isn't as much about MEN as people think it is ... it's more about women's reactions to men who lie and play them.

so i think you should read it before you go on your "wah wah i'm being man bashed" tirade just because its cool and so rebel to go against the tide. and yes, that reply to JEN ... which appeared on MY blog has been completely cut and pasted without my permission, without any knowledge of HER situation or the things SHE'S had to endure.

look this book just wouldnt exist if there weren't assholes to inspire it, that's all i'm saying.

Alli! Of course, having not read the book I know I have as much effect as a pistol loaded with chewing gum. Who am I to argue with someone who have read the book right?

Anyway, like what I wrote to smoking_tangerine, I dissed the book for the sake of humour and like you said "because its cool and rebel to go against the tide". Please take it with a grain of salt. Me not raging war against the female population!

The whole inspiration behind this 'outburst' is just that I find the whole 'book about understanding men' concept too hard to believe that's all. Now if they were to call it a 'book about understanding assholes' that would be a different story! Then again that wouldn't sell as much since that would imply their readers have such bad tastes to fall for assholes. Which coincidentally and unfortunately, *cough* is a fact.

"Then again that wouldn't sell as much since that would imply their readers have such bad tastes to fall for assholes. Which coincidentally and unfortunately, *cough* is a fact."

Yes. I HAD absolutely horrible taste in guys. They were witty, charismatic, smooth-talking and exciting. But bad. And very ok with the fact that they were letting me down.

But after reading the book and listening to my friends, I realised ... I am wasting my time with a jerk and should be with someone better. And just between you, me and the lamp-post, i AM. he's not a jerk. he's not an asshole. he in fact, is the OPPOSITE of every guy i've known and he really is that into me. Sometimes you just need it in black and white - it gives you the impetus to just say 'fuck it' and realise that you could do so much better, as everyone tells you.

You said: "They become enlightened because after reading the book, they understand the reasons to all their woes. Then, they suddenly transform into relationship experts for all their friends, writing a 5000 word reply at one go, repeatedly quoting "If he's into you he will BLAH, but because he's just not that into you so BLAH". Yet, somehow they still manage to become even more confused than they are BEFORE they read the book."

I neve said I was a relationship expert. If I was, I'd certainly have the commonsense to not let myself get fucked over by a prick in the first place - don't you think? So please, i implore you, dont patronise me.

i have not read this book and so i cannot say it is uber effective for me. but the advice i've been given based on it has served me well, and believe it or not, i didn't realize some of the delusions i was building until someone somewhere quoted me something from it.

however, i am too skeptical a person to believe that self-help books are written for the sole purpose of helping only. anything with a price tag attached to it cannot be 100% good, therefore the book will have its flaws and naturally, contain fictionally 'pleasing' content to appease our wounded souls and help us see light - whether it be sunlight or artificial light bulbs.

how one takes it is up to tht person, and ideas should be taken diplomatically whichever side they choose or oppose. look at it this way, if the other person's wrong - he/she will pay for it eventually as it is inevitably habitual for us to do as we think.

your opinions on your own blog are fine - i respect that and ask you'd respect mine. when you cut and pasted my reply to a what has now become, very close friend, it got personal. no offence taken, it happens.

er..i happen to have blogged about this book,and yes,i have read it.
if you'd taken 1 hour of your time to read it,i think you'd understand what the writers are trying to say.we're not flipping out when you don't call us after 5 minutes.(hell,i don't answer my phone half the time,so i'd be one to talk)
there are some guys out there(i sincerely hope for your girlfriends sake you are not one of them) who are such fuckwits that even YOU(yes Y-O-U)would want to shoot because they're just such major assholes.
yes.so alli is right,when she says that somewhere out there,there must be some assholes who inspired this.

Relax relax, I know I unabatedly bashed many ppl's favourite book in this entry. If anyone is still upset over this entry, please, just calm down. Its just a mindless rant, not an attempt to defame people, not an attempt to attack someone personally or what not.

Besides, I have not read the book, why would anyone think that I am against the book? All I'm saying, as mentioned time and time again, is that its a book about understanding men - and I find that odd, so I ranted. That's it. I'm not saying the book is bad, I'm not saying the book is wrong. I believed I followed proper referencing procedures by including the source for the pieces I quoted. In fact I'm sure a few more ppl will be reading this book as a result of this post.

Above all that... you know what? I agreed 100% with what you and alli said. There needs to be a self-help book for girls who are done wrong by men, and HJNTIY is exactly that. (Actually its co-written by a man as well) In fact, if I can locate the book in a Kuching library I might even read it for fun.

All I'm trying to say is that I find the concept behind "A Book About Understanding Men" silly at first thought, because many people believe women are more difficult to understand. So I poked fun about it, and I poked fun about the reactions of girls who have read it (which I seriously hope you have the sense of humour to laugh it off) and that's it. If people can't take a satirical post like that, then honestly I have no idea what else to do.

lolz. actually, kenny, i find the response to this post a lot funnier than the actual post itself. people do tend to take things a tad seriously, especially since if it's a topic they really are 'involved' in. people do glance through the humor, you know? at any rate, it was a very interesting opinion on something you haven't read, or at least one on a topic that is equally as interesting but quite cryptic which it shouldn't have been.

Guys who promised to call, are always the irresponsible one... if you are not sure, just don't say it for God sake.
Why is it SO pleasurable to say those three words "I'll call you"?????
Is it much better instead of using "try" or "maybe"?? Not giving that damn FIRM answer as "I Will" that give people false hope and the waiting game is "Punishing Morose Sickening" (PMS)

You guys just getting yourselves into damn shit situation if the girls start complaining blah blah blah .....So you are what you eat, you get "Poor Men Suffering" (PMS) because of what you said/promised.

I agreed with you self-help book is of no help. Men or women are so emotionally unpredictable.
There is no CURE.

Girls take three hours to dress up to go to a dark cinema...because the guy that's taking her there will be looking at her for the duration of the car ride, buying tix, popcorn etc...
Ditto for the shoes!
As for the self-help book...I suppose it's just meant to be that guy don't understand girls and vice versa....nuff sed. :p

Girls take three hours to dress up to go to a dark cinema...because the guy that's taking her there will be looking at her for the duration of the car ride, buying tix, popcorn etc...
Ditto for the shoes!
As for the self-help book...I suppose it's just meant to be that guy don't understand girls and vice versa....nuff sed. :p

Honestly, I read this book (I was bored in a friend's house and that book was lying around in front of me, so... -_-;)

And.

The book was apparently written in the view of a male colleague who works with the sex and the city people.

In other words, it was not based on women's point of view, it was actually based on men's opinion.

How credible it is in another story. However, there are SOME (not all, fortunately) women out there who just don't know when to let go and I MET THESE WOMEN. They keep confiding to me, 'Hey, will he call?' and it had already more than 2 weeks since it happened (Worst, 1 month). Telling them to give up is like talking to the wall. Shitty annoying I tell you.

Some women are damn hard to understand sampai you just don't know why they refuse to give up on some not important at all stuff, you know?

This book is seriously meant for those type of women. I recommended it to some heart broken girls who still PRAY that their ex still love them (and they broke up for more than a year).

it was out in Oprah the other day... a month ago i think. Oprah was interviewing the author n a few ppl showed up and ask the author whether their boyfriend are into them or not... well.. i think the points that he's saying it's just his opinions.. not FACTS!! as if like he was trying his best to tell the girls that their boyfriends are not into them certain situation...

The point is, it's not about if some guy calls you after a date.It'S not about some girl being in love with her ex after having not spoken to him for a year. It's not about good men. It's about guys who manipulate, these guys have narcassistic personalities, they won't ever be with you they just want to know you're there for them, with no regard to how much it's hurting you. Let's clear this up, it's not about men in general, it's about the arseholes and the misplaced trust some women have in them. It's about the tolerance some women have for utter tripe. It's telling them to stop wasting their lives. I think that is a good thing, do we really want broken women mopping about the place and arseholes carrying on the way they do? I THINK NOT.

haha..if i were to buy tat book...it'l be js for 'oic' or 'oh..like tat ha?' purpose...c'mon if a guy dun call...i'l js grab my wii stick n shake to rhythm or speed my bike along the lanes in Kuching and 'cuci mata' in Spring..~pheweet..
It ain't my call. Ther's tons of stuff to do...besides fussin over a call or wat...indulging in the mind of men..sometimes u just can't put these two together~action with thoughts...haha (*i'm the odd one)

haha..if i were to buy tat book...it'l be js for 'oic' or 'oh..like tat ha?' purpose...c'mon if a guy dun call...i'l js grab my wii stick n shake to rhythm or speed my bike along the lanes in Kuching and 'cuci mata' in Spring..~pheweet..
It ain't my call. Ther's tons of stuff to do...besides fussin over a call or wat...indulging in the mind of men..sometimes u just can't put these two together~action with thoughts...haha (*i'm the odd one)

Sounds like an interesting book, as a girl but waaay too depressing for me to read anytime soon. It sucks when the guy you like isn't that into you and ugly dudes who are oh-so-wrong would move mountains for you... But it's nice to be adored I guess. :)