Become effective

What is the reason for one person achieving above-average results and the other not? Though on the surface, both are doing the same thing? The reason is simply a difference in the way a person thinks, which Simon Sinek – a New York corporate consultant – taught me. Let us use a baker as an example to understand this principal more easily.

Communication is generally considered to be self-explanatory: I say something and my dialog partner understands what I meant to say. That would be nice, but it’s not the way it goes. If it did, there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings. And everyone would have a similar reaction to the same facts.

Talking about others is currently a trend. There has probably always been a lot of talk about others who aren’t present. However, never have so many of these statements been recorded and documented. Social media is full of them. Why are others so important that people constantly have to declare their opinions about them? Does everyone do it or are some people particularly affected?

Its amazing how quickly lying has become socially acceptable. Top managers who have brought their companies to the edge of the abyss are seriously saying that they had no idea while unabashedly pocketing their bonuses. Angry citizens are making up news and posting it on social media where it is shared so often that some people consider it to be the truth. And politicians have developed undreamt-of creativity when it comes to designing the truth. The incredible thing about it: In most cases, people don’t get enraged about it, they simply accept it. Maybe because they just don’t know what else to do.

Good arguments have fallen on hard times. Because for many nowadays, emotions rule. Countable, tangible facts are discounted. Now, feelings in and of themselves are not bad. And rigorous rationality alone is rarely a sound guide. Except that there are feelings and there are feelings. Positive ones. And those that are downright negative. Aggressiveness, for example. Or rage. Anyone in a state of rage is permanently in defense mode, constantly defending his views. He even has to defend himself if he is not being attacked at all. And since the best defense is a good offense, he launches these attacks himself. Not the best basis for productive conversations or discussions.

When exactly did nuances start disappearing in discussions? This occurred to me the other day as I was once again moderating a type of dispute that has become so typical nowadays. There was opinion A. And totally contrary to that was opinion B. With nothing in between. Anyone who was for opinion A was perforce against opinion B. And vice versa. You could also say: If you do not share my opinion, you are my enemy. This is the route more and more discussions are taking today. But that’s not how life works.