Gingerbread’s lively online community is a supportive place to chat with other single mums and dads, share your experiences, tips and suggestions, find out what’s happening for single parent families in your local area and make new friends.

Gingerbread’s forum exists as a place for single parents to meet online. A single parent is the mother or father (sometimes the step-parent, foster parent or grandparent) who is the main carer for a child. By registering for this forum you are declaring that you are a single parent and have agreed to our forum terms and conditions. Gingerbread forums are one of the ways for Gingerbread members to meet and support each other. People who are no longer single parents and want to stay in touch are welcome to join Friends of Gingerbread.

Having problems accessing the forums? Just let us know and we’ll do our best to sort them out as quickly as possible.

How it works here

The forums are a great place to have a chat and share your experiences and opinions. We’ve compiled a list of common questions to help you get the most out of being a forum member.

How are the forums moderated?

Our forums are checked regularly by a small team of moderators whose role it is to ensure everyone keeps to the rules so the forums remain a safe a supportive place for single parents.

Please remember, the forums are open 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year and it is simply not possible to check each and every post. All forums users are expected know the forums rules and be familiar with our netiquette guidance.

Any forums users who are found to be breaching the forums rules may, without warning, have their post/s partially or completely removed; their forum account deactivated and membership of Gingerbread withdrawn.

Any forums users in severe emotional distress, or seeking help for an urgent issue, are strongly recommended to go to our If You Need Help Urgently section on this page, where you can find a list of organisations offering immediate support.

Can I report posts?

Yes. Our forums users are generally very friendly and supportive, but if you come across a post that you think breaks the rules, or a post that concerns you, you can let us know by reporting it (at the bottom of each post, to the right of the reply button, is a report button).

Only the Gingerbread team and our moderators will know you have reported it. We will look into all reported posts as soon as we possibly can, usually within 24-48 hours, but it may take longer during busy times and outside office hours (Monday – Friday 9am – 5pm), so please be patient.

Yes, we’ve got a few rules to help the forums run smoothly and make sure that everyone feels comfortable getting involved. We’ve also written a ‘netiquette’ guide, which you’ll find below, to help you find the best ways to get involved.

We’re really happy for the conversation to flow freely and easily on the forums, but there are some things which we simply won’t tolerate:

• Racism
• Sexism
• Homophobia
• Bullying
• Harassment of other members
• Personal attacks on other members
• Extreme swearing
• Acting in a continuously disruptive manner which upsets other members
• Spamming – posts about products you want to sell, or things that simply aren’t relevant, copies of chain letters or links to potentially damaging .exe files (executable files).
• Requests or advertisements for participants from the media/radio/TV
• For your own safety, we also recommend that you don’t post personal contact details such as email addresses and phone numbers, and be careful about posting other personal information (such as the names of your children, where you live etc). If you’ve made a friend on the forums you can always use the private messaging function to contact them.

Following ‘net etiquette’ can help you to make friends online and can help you get your views and opinions across without offending someone accidentally. Here are a few hints and tips.

PLEASE DON’T SHOUT

Using capital letters is just like shouting, which can sometimes seem rude and inappropriate.

Do as you would be done by

It’s easy to become a keyboard warrior, taking on the latest internet crusade but please remember there’s a person at the other end whose feelings you could seriously hurt. If you feel upset or angry at something that has been written then take a break before replying. If you’re not sure what someone is getting at – try reading it again and if really unsure – ask them to clarify what they mean. We’re a diverse group of people, we all have different ways of expressing ourselves and our differing views and experiences. Let’s celebrate that!

It’s a private message for a reason

If someone sends you a private message – please respect that privacy. It’s frowned on by the moderators to post these on the public forum and your fellow community members probably won’t appreciate it either.

Don’t feed the trolls

Sometimes people insist on stirring up trouble and the worst thing you can do is respond to it. If someone says something that you think goes against our terms and conditions then please report it to a moderator.

Smileys are ok by us

Smileys (emoticons) and acronyms can help you to let people know how you’re feeling. But a personal attack is never acceptable, whether you use smileys or not.

Everyone was new once

Be patient with people who are new. The moderators should be able to guide people who are posting inappropriately, but getting stroppy with new people helps no one. A friendly face (or emoticon ;) ) is what everyone needs when they’re first dipping their toe in.

Keeping our community safe

We want Gingerbread to be a friendly and welcoming place that supports its members. We have moderators in place to make sure it stays this way and to guide members to do the right thing. However, if someone repeatedly goes against our guidelines then they will be banned permanently. We only do this as a last resort but we do this to protect everyone else.

Most importantly

Have fun! We hope our community will provide the support and friends that you are looking for. We’re always open to suggestions for improvements and if you’re interested in moderating, you can drop an email to the membership team to be considered if a place becomes available.

Can I talk to another member privately on the forums?

Yes, you can send them a private message – like an email which only they will read. While it can be nice to chat on a more personal level sometimes, we don’t advise that you send private messages to other forum members until you’ve had a chance to get to know each other a bit in the forums. It can feel a bit intimidating to be contacted by a stranger, so if you’d like to talk to someone directly, post a message for them in the forums and ask if it would be ok to send them a private message. Read more about private messaging in this handy guide from one of our forum moderators.

Where to go for advice

The forums provide friendship and an informal place to “talk it over” with other single parents. Our members chat about all kinds of things in the forums – ranging from serious issues to holidays and fun activities with the kids. We know it can be a great help to hear from others who’ve been through similar experiences. However, not everyone’s situation is the same and information is changing rapidly so it’s always best to ask an expert for advice on the bigger stuff – such as separation, benefits, employment and housing.

Some situations require you to take urgent action for example if you are being made homeless, are experiencing domestic violence or are worried about the safety of a child. To help you get to the right people quickly, we’ve compiled a list of organisations that are the best people to help you in these situations. Go to If You Need Help Urgently.

If you’re feeling very low and are worried you might harm yourself or someone else, you should call 999 or go to your local Accident and Emergency department.

Gingerbread

The Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline is staffed by trained advisers who can help you understand the options open to you. The advisors can give you advice and information about:

• All welfare benefits and tax credits
• Housing options when you become a single parent
• Child maintenance
• Working and studying
• Family issues such as separation and contact
• Finding and paying for childcare
• The first steps to take in coping with debt
• Where to get legal advice if you need it
• Other organisations that can help you.

Want to talk to an adviser but would rather do it online? Join our regular online advice sessions, each on a different topic relevant to single parent families, and get your questions answered directly.

Gingerbread has a series of factsheets to give you expert advice and practical information on a range of topics. These include benefits, money, family law, housing and the wellbeing of you and your family. Each factsheet also contains a list of useful organisations.

You can read the factsheets online or request them from our helpline.

For help finding information about your circumstances quickly, our step-by-step guides to life’s big changes mean that guidance on a wide range of topics is just a click away. Each package also has a tailored email advice programme. Simply choose the areas that are of interest to you, fill in your email address and you’ll receive a series of messages full of relevant information, straight to your inbox.

If you’re a dad bringing up children on your own, our single dads pages offer advice and information tailored to your circumstances. The pages cover separation, bereavement, work, study, childcare, benefits and tax credits, arrangements for family life and parenting and the law. You can also read stories from other single dads or join the single dads forum thread to share your experiences.

Other useful organisations

If you plan to contact these organisations by phone you may like to know if you will be charged for the call.
• 0808 numbers are free from UK landlines and most mobiles
• 0800 numbers are free from landlines but mobile providers may charge for the call
• All other numbers may incur a charge - numbers starting 03 are charged at local rates.

Advice and information services

The following services can either advice single parents directly or signpost you to the most appropriate organisation. You can also find a wealth of information in our advice and information section.

Legal Advice

While the forums are a great place to share experiences, talk through what’s going on in your family’s life and get another person’s perspective on things, there are certain situations where expert help is needed and quickly. In this section you can find details of organisation that have experience in giving you the specific help you need.

All of these organisations listed here provide their services for free in the first instance.

Calls to a helpline with an 0808 number are free from UK landlines and most mobiles.

Calls to helplines with an 0800 number are free from UK landlines but may not be free from mobiles.

All other numbers will incur a charge unless the number range is included in your phone package.

If the way you are feeling is so overwhelming that you fear you may harm yourself or another person, call 999 and ask for help or go to your nearest accident and emergency department. The organisations below can help you in times of distress. Also see our factsheet for details of other useful organisatons.

When life is difficult it can be tempting to turn to drugs and alcohol as a way of coping. Relying on drugs and alcohol will rarely help you or your family in the long term. If you find that you need to use drugs or alcohol these to get through the day you should contact one of the organisation below for help.

Becoming a single parent through bereavement presents particular challenges and you may feel you and your child/ren need extra support at this time. Cruse Bereavement Care
0844 477 9400www.cruse.org.uk
Bereavement counselling and support for both children and adults.

Winstons Wish
08452 03 04 05www.winstonswish.org.uk
Support for children, young people and their families following the death of a parent or sibling.

If you feel that being a parent is getting on top of you would like some parenting support, you have problems with your child’s schooling or your family is involved with social services the following organisations can help you. You may also find our factsheet on Support for your child in difficult situations helpful.

Advisory Centre for Education (ACE)
0300 0115 142www.ace-ed.org.uk
For advice on exclusion from school, bullying, special educational needs and disability issues. Family Rights Group
0808 801 0366www.frg.org.uk
Provides advice and support for parents whose children are involved with children services.

Resolution
01689 820 272 www.resolution.org.uk
Provides contact details of solicitors in the UK for anyone involved in family law proceedings.

Law Centres Federationwww.lawcentres.org.uk
For details of Law Centres where you can obtain legal advice.Rights of Women
0207 251 6577www.rightsofwomen.org.uk
Provides a confidential legal advice service to women on a range of issues. They specialise in family law, criminal law eg rape and domestic violence and immigration and asylum law.