This phase is characterised by noticeable physical, mental and social deterioration. There is total breakdown in the relationship with the family.

a. Binge

They drink continuously for days together, do not eat and do not involve themselves in any other activity. At the end of each binge, they are left in a shaken, frightened, guilty ridden condition.

b. Ethical breakdown

They start telling lies, steal or borrow in order to maintain their supply of alcohol/drugs. When they reach this stage, two things may possibly happen to them. They continue to drink or use drugs and become mentally ill or die a premature death. The only solution to this problem is stop drinking/taking drugs totally for life.

Initially, there is loss of control over the amount of alcohol/drug consumed. He is unable to reduce the quantity of intake even when he wants to. Later on, he loses control over the time, place and occasion of drinking/drug abuse. Loss of control is a clear sign of addiction.

Justifying

He feels guilty and justifies his drinking/drug taking by giving excuses like unhappy marital life tension at office or pressure from friends.

c.Grandiose behavior

He talks ‘big’ about himself, makes huge future plans and spends much more than what he can afford.

d. Abstaining for a temporary period

At this stage he would have developed number of health problems, problems at home and at the office. In order to convince himself and others that he can give up drugs only if he decides to, he abstains for some time – at times even for a month or more but after the specific period of time he gets back to excessive use all over again.

e.Changing pattern

After trying to abstain he changes the pattern of drinking/drug use. For instance, he changes drinks/drugs – from arrack to brandy, from whisky to beer, from brown sugar to Buprenorphine and so on. He shifts the place and time of drug use. But whatever changes he makes, he faces the same problems which haunted him before.

There are three main phases of addictions: - that are early phases, middle phases and chronic phases:

Early Phase.

a.Increased tolerance

This is the first warning sign of the development of addiction. The person needs more alcohol /drugs to get the same effect.

b.Black out (seen only among alcoholics)

During a blackout, the alcoholics go through many activities without being able to remember even a trace of them later on. He walks, talks, even drives a vehicle “apparently normally but has no recollection of it afterwards.

c.Preoccupation

Even when he is not using, he is preoccupied with the thoughts of how, when and where to get the next supply.

Addiction is a state which the person cannot avoid the continuous use of a particular thing. In that stage the person will be fully dependent on it.

The meaning of addiction is, it is a condition characterized by compulsive substance intake, craving and seeking for it and negative consequences associated with the substance use. As it is a chronic disorder, people who are addicted cannot control their need for alcohol or other drugs, even in the face of negative health, social or legal consequences.

Drug addiction has two components: (a) physical dependency (b) psychological dependency. Physical dependency occurs when a drug has been used habitually and the body has become accustomed to its effects. Psychological dependency occurs when a drug has been used habitually and the mind has become emotionally reliant to its effects, either to elicit pleasure or relieve pain, and does not feel capable of functioning without it. The addictive nature of drugs varies from substance to substance and individual to individual.

BYWAY TO SOBRIETY

One day an artist had gone to the shop and asked for a pencil. Before buying, he asked pencils, “Who is ready to help me for make out my artwork”. Two pencils were jumped in to the artist’s hand as they were ready to assist him. They were happy till the artist planned to start his artwork. But the day came the artist approached the pencils and said to come with him. He also had given the warning to the pencil that if they are ready to work with him, they have to suffer a lot. One of the pencils told “I am tired and I will come later; the other pencil accepted the call. The artist sharpened the led with the sharpener; the pencil lost its outer part which was painful. He completed his artwork become popular with his master piece. During the inaugural ceremony of his artwork exhibition, he kept those two pencils on his hand; one was longer and new and other was short. He shared the inspiration behind his beautiful drawings. He shown the short pencil to the audience and said, “He is the one who supports and helps me a lot. He was ready to suffer a lot for me; I used to sharpen a lot for me which helped to make it more strength always. He didn’t show any disagree for it. But the other which looks same as he was not ready to misshapen his body for it. So it looks same and out off use”.

The same question is coming to the minds of addicts, whether I am useful for the society? Of course, the addicts are human beings and they are struggling to overcome from their problems during their recovering periods.

He should clearly explain why his way is right...and that should accept by others around him. Discuss and convince others...then he will be great. He could easily find out solution for a problem...that is best quality of a leader

Thursday, 22 March 2012

Making a decision was only the begining of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving in to a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.

People need not fear the unknown, if they are capable of achieving what they need and want.

When you can't go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward.

when you want something with all your heart, that is when you are closest to the soul of the world. It always a positive force.

We are afraid of loosing what we have, whether it is our life or our possessions and properties. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand.

Monday, 19 March 2012

Mind is individual. Every person has individuality. We should not pre-occupy while building or maintaining a relationship. Moreover, it should keep in mind in customer satisfaction too.
However, we should pre-occupy in technical areas.

Yes, we are talking about mind. Easy way to understand how mind is...: How colours are... There are some common colours....white..yellow..green..red..blue..black... But we make verities with combination of these common. Mind is like a cluster of many verity colours.

We can't compare a mind with other....a person with another. We can't judge a person unless we study how his mind builds up.

Everybody is right in their point of view. Arguments help to find out 'how is right'. Discussion helps to find out 'what is right'.

Eventhough, first impression is the best, we can’t judge a person at first sight.

Usually attitude refers to 'a favourable or unfavourable evaluation of something'. Evaluation could be positive or negative view or views, while that 'something' is the 'attitude object' which could be a person, place, thing or event. So, attitude is a person's feelings or reaction to an 'attitude object' at any given point of time.

'He has a major attitude!' - ( could mean arrogance or indifference)

'You should have the right attitude!' - (towards someone or something)

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Whenever we see a well dressed person, with a good attractive face, automatically this thought will come to us: what a personality he has! Why?

1. Accept Responsibility

Responsible behavior is to accept accountability. It represents maturity. Acceptance of responsibility is a reflection of our attitude and of the environment we operate in. Responsible persons do not ignore their duties. Responsibility involves thoughtful action.

2. Show Consideration

Show consideration, courtesy and politeness. Thoughtfulness shows a caring attitude.

3. Think Win – Win

Whatever may be the situation you have to think about your success.

4. Choose your Words Carefully

Words have magical powers. It can bring changes either positively or negatively. It reflects your attitude. Words can hurt feelings and destroy relationships. So think before speaking. Excessive talking does not mean communication. Talk less; say more.

5. Don’t Criticize and Complain

criticism may be positive or negative. Constructive criticism has a spirit of helpfulness rather than have a put-down. It offers solutions. Criticize the behavior not the person, because when we criticize the person, we hurt their self-esteem.

6. Smile and Be Kind

A smile costs nothing, but it creates much. It can give pleasure to others and help to reduce pain. It happens in a flash, and the memory of it may last forever. Cheerfulness flows from goodness. A smile can be fake or genuine. The key is to have a genuine one. A smiling face is always welcome. It improves your face value.

7. Positively Interpret other People’s Behavior

By starting with positive assumptions, we have a better chance of building a pleasing personality, resulting in good relationships.

8. Be a Good Listener

To have a good personality, you have to be a good listener. “An open ear is the only believable sign of an open heart”. Listening shows caring. If you show an attitude of listening, the person speaking will get motivated and will give you more ideas.

9. Be Enthusiastic

“Nothing great is ever achieved without enthusiasm”. Enthusiasm and success go hand in hand, but enthusiasm comes first. It inspires confidence, raises morale, builds loyalty and is priceless. We can feel enthusiastic by the way a person talks, walks or shakes hands. Enthusiasm is a habit that one can acquire and practice. Positive enthusiasm can change our whole life.

10. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation

Famous psychologist William James said, “One of the deepest desires of human beings is the desire to be appreciated. The feeling of being unwanted is hurtful”. Sincere appreciation is one of the greatest gifts one can give to another person. However it is easier to deal with honest rejection than insincere appreciation.

11. Accept the Mistake and Move on

When we make a mistake, accept it and move on. “When I am wrong, make me easy to change; and when I am right, make me easy to live with”. This is good philosophy to live by. We are not people who do right things every time. So whenever we make mistakes accept it and correct it. Mistakes are to be learned from. The greatest mistake a person can make is to repeat the mistake. Don’t assign blame and make excuses.

12. Discuss, but Don’t Argue

An argument is one thing we will never win. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it. Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. You win an argument, but lose a good job, customer, friend or relative. At the time of an argument we try to strengthen our points. Arguments result from inflated ego. A healthy discussion can throw light on the way.

13. Don’t Gossip

Gossiping and lying are closely related. A gossip listens in haste (hurry) and repeats at leisure. A gossip is more concerned about what he overhears than what he hears. Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves nothing unsaid. Gossip has no respect for justice. Remember, “Small people talk about other people, mediocre people talk about things, and great people talk about ideas”. You should aware, if you are a person who likes gossiping, that you are creating hate in the minds of people.

14. Turn your Promises into Commitments

A promise is a statement of intent. A commitment is a promise that is going to be kept no matter what. Commitment comes out of character and leads to conviction. Commitments say “I am predictable in the unpredictable future”.

15. Be Grateful but do not Expect Gratitude

Gratitude is a feeling. It improves our personality and builds character. It develops out of humility. It is a feeling of thankfulness towards others. It is conveyed through our attitude towards others and is reflected in our behavior.

16. Be Dependable and Practice Loyalty

Ability is important but dependability is crucial. If you know someone with all the ability in the world but if he is not dependable, do you want him as part of your team? No, not at all. “An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness”.

17. Avoid Bearing Grudges

Don’t be a garbage collector. When a person refuses to forgive, he is locking the doors that some day he might need to open. When we hold grudges and harbor resentment, who are we hurting the most? Ourselves.

18. Practice Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity

Honesty inspires openness, reliability and frankness. It shows respect for one’s self and others. Honesty is in being, not in appearing to be. Honesty requires firmness and commitment. Be truthful to self and that will bring you sincerity. Before taking any action think about the same, and beware of half truths or misinterpretations of truths. It is possible to achieve the goals by having a sincere desire in mind. Said Thomas Carlyle, “Make your self an honest man and then you may be sure there is one rascal less in the world”.

19. Practice Humility

Confidence without humility is arrogance. Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness. Humility does not mean self-demeaning behavior that would amount to belittling oneself. Sincere humility attracts but false humility detracts.

20. Be Understanding and Caring

In relationships we all make mistakes and sometimes we are insensitive to the needs of others, especially those very close to us. All this leads to disappointment and resentment. The answer to handling disappointment understands.

21. Practice Courtesy on a Daily Basis

Courtesy is nothing more than consideration for others. A courteous person, who is not very sharp, will go further in life than a discourteous but a sharp person.

22. Develop a Sense of Humor

A sense of humor makes a person likable and attractive. Learn to laugh at yourself because it is the safest humor. Laughing at yourself gives you the energy to bounce back.

23. Don’t be Sarcastic and Put Others Down

Negative humor may include sarcasm, put-downs and hurtful remarks. When someone blushes with embarrassment; when someone carries away an ache; when something sacred is made to appear common; when someone’s weakness provides the laughter; when profanity is required to make it funny; when a child is brought to tears or when everyone can’t join in the laughter - it is a poor joke. To a sadist everything is funny, so long as it is happening to someone else. Humor can be valuable or dangerous, depending on whether you are laughing with someone or at someone.

24. To Have a Friend, Be a Friend

Friendship takes sacrifice. Building friendships and relationships takes sacrifice, loyalty and maturity. Sacrifice takes going out of one’s way and never happens by the way. Selfishness destroys friendships.

25. Show Empathy

The wrong we do to others and what we suffer are weighted differently. Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of a positive personality. People with empathy ask themselves this question: “How would I feel if someone treated me that way?”

BE A BETTER PERSON

Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and wrong. Because some time in our lives we would have been all of these ourselves.

Successful persons develop pleasing and magnetic personalities. It helps in getting friendly co-operation from others. A pleasing personality is easy to recognize but hard to define. It is apparent in the way a person walks and talks, his tone of voice, the warmth in his behavior and his definitive level of confidence. A pleasing personality is a combination of a person’s attitude, behavior and expressions.