Life of a Pagan, a wife, a poet, and an activits on the Spiral Path.

Continued search

So, I’ve spent the morning trying to find a job. Seems that’s all I ever do, try to find a job or try to accomplish things online (like my slideshows or the article that I’m still working on). It’s stressful – more so than actually working! I just need something to help us raise the money to get out of this city, and I worry that’s part of the problem. That, and now not having a car so I can get back and forth to work unless I can find a job in/around South Shore so Josh can pick me up and drop me off. I’m hoping to get a job working in Jackson Outer Harbor (just across Lake Shore from where Josh is), but they don’t even know if they’re going to be able to hire someone to fill the open position. It’s like beating my head against a brick wall, sometimes.

And as for my article…I keep seeming to repeat myself over and over. I have something to say, something I wish someone had taken the time to tell me when Josh and I began our journey. That it’ll all be okay, if for no other reason than we believe that we can. Before, people would tell me that I am condemning my husband by his beliefs, and it would break my heart that he might think that, too. Even when he told me it wasn’t true. Maybe if there had been more voices from the other side, more voices of support, maybe I wouldn’t have doubted my husband’s word. Because, let me tell you, my doubt caused us more trouble than our different beliefs ever actually have. And I want to now be able to offer that voice of support. And yet, those words just don’t want to come out right. Am I just pushing too hard? Would I still be trying so hard if I had a job? Blah.

I want to help people, especially people who find themselves in the same boat that I am in. If you’re one of those people, living in a relationship that you’ve always been taught shouldn’t work, then listen to me. If you and your significant other have decided that you can make a life together, then you can! No matter what trials you face, what dissenters you face, remember that you both believe you can make it work. And since your relationship is only between the two of you, then you can make it work. Period. Because while those others may be people who matter to you – your family or friends – remember that when you build a family with your SO, that is your new family. While it would be better if your family and friends accept you, it matters most that you are together and that you care for the family you create between you. And, in the end, if your friends and family truly love you, they will make their peace with the situation or they are the ones forfeiting a relationship with you.

See how easy that was to say? Why doesn’t it go on the paper like that when I try to write it for a greater audience? *le sigh* Well, at least I know that I can say it. Well, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I’m going to try again. Writing and searching, searching and writing. At least until I go pick Josh up from work. Then our weekend starts. ^__^ I’ll post again, but I won’t work. Because my husband is rather demanding of my time and attention. ^__^