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Contemplating Death in the Middle of the Night

Is this what my life means as a blogger? Being awake at 2AM with my brain on fire, getting up in the cold and dark and finding the laptop, willing my fingers to keep up with the thoughts in my head? With the cat and the laptop fighting for space on my lap?

I find myself wishing I could run to my computer all the time, because every thought could turn into something good. Ooo, I can write about that! No one’s telling me I can’t! Yikes. I don’t know if I can keep up the pace.

Anywho that’s where I’m at right now, and if I wasn’t I would’ve missed this incredible show. Since I was up I thought I’d research neighborhood schools on the PBS website. (It’s a current battle of mine: they want to ship my kids across town and I don’t want to let them!)

It was hard to miss this headline on the main page: “The Suicide Tourist.” What the!? So I clicked, and despite the fact that it was the middle of the night and I was more than toast, I was immediately sucked into this unbelievable story.

The show was about a man diagnosed with ALS who had no chance of recovery. He wanted to end his life with dignity before he became a burden on his family.

I watched and re-watched until the sky brightened and Dave came down to make coffee. And then I got up and hugged him. A lot.