Sunday, June 17, 2012

Every Dog Has His Day....

Even at 17, I knew what kind of father you would be someday. Somewhere in the murk of all of my flaws, I have always had great instincts. After 28 years of sharing this journey together, I have more admiration and love for you than I ever have. In your eyes and arms is the beautiful dichotomy of kindness and strength, where I have learned safety, trust, and what it means to be in the trenches with someone for better or worse. Yours, are the only eyes, who have seen me for all I am and love me, without question, in spite of it. I am prettier... taller... smarter... and more worthy than I have ever allowed myself to believe.

These days, when you reach for my hand, I can feel our hard-earned, and sometimes difficult history between us, and I feel comfort, and triumph and such gratitude that we are fighters...and believers. We make a great team. Raising kids is not for the weak. When life brought us a challenge, and I was afraid, I always knew I could climb onto your back and you'd carry me through it. When you were unsure, I would just grab your hand, take the lead, and let your feet follow the tracks I made ahead of you, until we reached the answers.

Sometimes, when I stop to think of the probability that someday, the world will know a You Without Me or a Me Without You - I crumble under the weight of that cosmic reality. There is nobody in the world I would have entrusted my children with, but you. You are every bit the father I knew you'd be.