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I can SO relate. I've been writing for over 20 years now...been published in small presses for over ten of those 20, won awards, gotten some good reviews, and I STILL haven't met the life goal I set for myself of getting published by a major publisher, of having a book out that my family and friends could actually find in a bookstore.

I've written probably 30 novels altogether and given up a huge chunk of my life to this. For me, the results have been pretty minimal.

I wonder why I do this to myself. Until I try to stop writing and discover that I can't. I just can't. I don't know if it's an obsession, a compulsion, or what, but there are always characters in my head demanding I write down their stories.

I have no goals for this week. The girls and I are on vacation. Last week I wrote words, but I'm not counting or I'll be disappointed :). This week, my big accomplishment so far has been surviving a 20% incline hike with a baby and a stroller on a trail NOT meant for strollers. Luckily there was an extra adult to carry the stroller while I carried the baby. The question is, which was heavier?

I stumbled upon your blog and decided this sounds like a kindred group. In response to the question: Why do I write? I think because it's part of my wiring. I can't sing, I'm not much of a musician, and I tend to be a little quiet in the verbal department, but self-expression must come out in some form. This is mine. :)

How many words? None this week...but I did finish a fourth draft of my 96,000 word sci-fi/romance recently. Does that count?

I finally updated my blog! And completed all revisions, line edits, and selected excerpts for Immortal Protector.

I hear you on existential angst. Sometimes I think excess life density causes this. Life gets hairy and thick, and somehow presses hard on our creativity. Like a sun collapsing on itself. Utimatily, you explode from all the pressure, but the period leading up to that is draining.

Sometimes I give up stuff, but when I'm stuck in crisis of this nature, I tend to drift from thing to thing, not able to complete any one. It's maddening. Then the guilt sets in and I second guess myself on everything.

OK--baby step I know but done! I did a 750 word article for a news magazine. Am schmoozing my way up to contributing editor so I can get away from teaching Troubled High School Students. Going on vacation so resting a little--but taking the time to reset some goals. xxoocf