10.15.2009

Wasn't really no reason to delete the account, just allowed some shit to force me to press that delete account button. So when folks heard about me closing the account, it was met with criticism and come back because we'll miss you replies. (read: yeah right)

So I decided to take a page from the homie Jamil by way of Nas and just destroy and rebuild.

10.13.2009

1. the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations. 2. faithful adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause, etc. 3. an example or instance of faithfulness, adherence, or the like: a man with fierce loyalties.

Who are you loyal to? Those that show loyalty towards you? Or are you selective with whom that is given to?

Throughout life, it seems as if that our loyalties can be tested in so many ways. Like if a person shows that they can be shady in some ways, would you still have their back when the chips are down? Or what if you were in a bind, would those so called friends still be the same ones that hold you down in a bind?

My problem is that I hold too many loyalties. Like it could be times that I needed some help but the ones that "said they would help" were nowhere to be found. But if they needed something, I would be right there.

I guess I should limited my loyalites those that deserve it. It's really a select few and they know who they are.

10.10.2009

For the past couple of weeks, I've gone through a what some would say a down phase. What I can say is that, things are somewhat better but that light at the end of the tunnel is far away. Some days I just want to break down and just scream to release this built up tension but I can't bring myself to do it. Then the person that I need to talk to is being distant, so there lies another issue.

People offer their ears to listen, but right now I can't discuss what's going on. I will eventually and I just have to brace myself to endure what comes of it. I don't regret the things that I've done, because they were meant to happen. Hey that's the way life goes.

Some people will look at me and say nice things about my character. I'm modest about it because I just find myself to average. If I could right those wrongs, then maybe things would be different. *exhales* I want to say more but I can't.. Well the person that this is directed towards knows how I feel.

"So I ain't mad, don't blame y'all, I blame mePut a wall in my path, I'm just gonna knock it down or go through itBefore you try to knock that down, go through itTry it and go do it, the folk in my world won't look at you so stupid" - Joe Budden

10.04.2009

I really thought that the worst was over, but I got hit with something else. Not that it was bad but I should have just left the subject alone.

"The decision made will affect one of us."

Saturday.. I hung out with my best friend. Now I use that term lightly because she's one of the few that will give it to me straight no chaser. Sometimes I need to hear the truth and it hurts but I have to bear it.

So in the middle of typing this, this tweet made me smile:

Don't be afraid to use your ammunition, that lady should of, would have, could have, saved herself. Rule number 4 - Double Tap - Columbus

So I checked this movie out yesterday. It was stupid but in a funny way, so yeah I will have this on DVD.. Also the Bill Murray cameo was hilarious.

10.01.2009

I'm on the outside knockingHoping that you'll hear me callingAnd that you'll allow your heart to stop blockingI'm working extra hard or not trying hard enoughOne minute you give me access, then the next I'm restrictedPast pains cause your emotions to remain toughLate night those dreams starts to play and I drift off into spaceHoping that I get a chance to hold you closeWaking up greeting you with morning kisses on your faceTossing and turning in my imaginary visionYour arms reaching out and I'm coming for your embraceAs I reach you, the dream stops and you disappearNo replays - just thoughts of what I want to beBut reality is staring at me saying she isn't going nowhere

9.26.2009

So a few days ago at the taping of VH1's Hip Hop Honors, KRS-One said that while there is no hip hop without Def Jam, they are the same ones that destroyed it.

Wait..what?

Now as I watched the clip, I understand where Kris was coming from. But you can't put the blame of one label's success for the impending demise as well. Def Jam has been around as long as I've been around. You think about the early days w/ LL Cool J, T La Rock, The Beastie Boys. Then the 90's w/ Jay-Z, DMX, Foxy Brown and later on w/ Ludacris and other acts.

Now if other labels that were around wanted to get that same success that Def Jam did, then they should have did what they had to do in order to get that money. Def Jam knew the rules to the game, so they ran with it. And although most of the marquee, they're still a top notch label.

But fans aren't looking for lyrical skill, they want that simple music. Turn on the radio and what do you hear? Soulja Boy, Gucci Mane (Still don't know why he's being forced down our throats), Lil Wayne, Drake, etc. And every label or genre of hip hop has it's due time. Right now, the bubble gum rap is on the clock.

Mi perfil

So who is this person?
- Derek
-10,220+ days old
- Tends to have a kind heart towards other. But can show a different side if taken advantage of.
- Listens to music
- Reads books
- Daydreams when boredom approaches
- Wants to be a best selling author someday
- Doesn't care if you don't like him or not
- Really isn't impressed with the flashy things
- Intentionally ignores others.