"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity."
George Bernard Shaw

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

diagnosis

I had hoped I could write this in a brief, emotionless paragraph. I managed kind of okay with the emotion but not so well with brevity because I would forget part of a sentence and get confused, find myself writing in circles, unable to copy from sources because when I look up I forget what I was just looking at. I've been trying to write this for days. After I've whittled it down you won't see the circles it. I hope.

Multiple Sclerosis: no funPartial Seizures: pretty niftyOptic Neuritis: I've lost some color vision & have blurry vision as well, which makes me uncertain about every image I post and makes photography pretty difficult.

A nurse came to my house the day before yesterday to teach me how to give myself injections so I could begin treatment with a medication called Rebif for MS. This won't cure it or undo any damage the disease has already done but it will hopefully slow the progression of it and the time between relapses. I will be giving them to myself, three times a week for the rest of my life (or till I can't give them to myself, I guess? I don't know). She said I'd feel pretty miserable for about the first three months of injections. So far I just feel tired.

So that's the diagnosis. This stuff below is from the net and the Rebif pamphlets with pictures of shiny, happy people living comfortably with their disease. Some folks with MS might get a chuckle out of that “comfortably” part.Heh. (Turns out, the "shiny, happy people" pamphlets had the most helpful information.) Darn it, now I've got that song in my head. Well, they were shiny, it was a glossy looking picture. ;-)

Multiple Sclerosisis a neurodegenerative autoimmune disease. Normally, the immune system helps fight viruses and things like bacteria. In an autoimmune disease, something causes the immune system to attack the body itself. With MS, where the body attacks itself is its own nervous system.

The nervous system is made up of nerve cells that send signals to each other. Each cell is covered with a protective coating called myelin. It acts like insulation on an electrical wire, lets these signals pass between nerve cells at high speeds. This is how nerve impulses from our body reach the brain and how the brain sends signals to muscles. Kind of like a relay system. With MS, for some reason, the immune system attacks the myelin sheaths and strips it off. This is called "demyelination." This leads to a breakdown in that signal function which leads to disability.

Multiple Sclerosis is unpredictable and incurable. It's mild in some people and severe in others. It affects no two people alike. You don't know when a relapse will occur, how long it will last, what it will consist of or the amount of damage that will take place during that time, in other words, the outcome of any given relapse.

But nowadays, we are lucky, we can give ourselves these injections and slow the process down. "Don’t worry, be happy…laa….ladadadadadada……….ladadadadadada……….ladadadada"

Try to get that song out of your head, ha!

Oh yeah, the injections and the nurse's warning...so if I don't post it would probably be I'm just feeling something wretched I'm supposed to be feeling so don't worry...be happy :-D

24 comments:

O, thank you for the update. I wish I was there so I could just hug you into next week and the next year. You remain, as always, in my thoughts and prayers and you remain, in my mind, as my dear beautiful soul. Love and hugs and kisses too.

Hopefully while those shots are delaying the MS effects, they will come up with something that will help even more. Medical science is making such huge advances now, it seems like what used to take 10 years to discover is now done in months. Bless you for sharing "all of you" with all of us.

Hi Olivia, I'm so sorry to hear about the MS. That's another I wish this world would find a cure for. So sorry for the effects and I do hope the shots will help get to some kind of normalcy. I know so many suffering the same.

Hi...You know what you have has to be one of the worst things a person can suffer with I have heard of. Life is so full of unexpected things. I wish I could take your suffering away and burden it, for you seem so sweet and kind. I want you take to care of youself, keep you chin up, (remember I am going through something similiar), Keep you heart open and KEEP CREATING YOU! :)

Dearest Bev, I have been wondering about you for so long. It never occurred to me to take a look at yoor blog. I hope you hang on there. Of all the people I have met, you are one of the most talented and lovely. I do not know what to tell you to make you feel better, but mu heart and prayers are with you. That tunnel you did draw is awesome and the sketches are as well, it is amazing what you can do even going through those treatments. I will keep coming to see how you are doing. Love and hugs, Antonio.

Antonio, it means a lot to hear from you, you have always meant so much to me. I haven't forgotten you. I'm glad you thought to look in here so you know that there has been a reason I've been unable to keep up like I would have wanted to. Many hugs to you. xox