The 9 Craziest Things About Russia

The hosts of the 2014 Olympics love cat plays and sex dolls.

Russia might be doing a pretty terrible job of hosting the Olympics so far (and they haven't even started yet), but there are plenty of other things that make Russia pretty awesome.

1. The Moscow Cats Theater. There is a theater in Moscow that only uses cats to put on shows. Welcome to the internet IRL.

strong>2. They celebrate New Year's twice a year. Not only do they celebrate on Jan. 1, but they've got the Old New Year on Jan. 14 (it's the new year of their Russian Orthadox calendar). Double the drinking. Double the resolutions. Double the regrets.

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3. They have a word for getting drunk for days. It's "zapoi." You're welcome, because you now have a way to tell everyone what you did during those four (and a half) years of college.

4. They have a sex doll boat race. You read that right. Every year, hundreds of participants race along the Vuoska River, buoyed by inflatable sex dolls.

5. They have a cult that worships Gadget Hackwrench from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers. Do you remember Rescue Rangers from your childhood? Well so does this group of dudes that started a cult. They worship Gadgether as a divine being. I don't know how to feel about this.

6. They have a sex day. On Sept. 12, couples are encouraged to take a half day to have sex. Anyone who has a baby 9 months later gets special prizes. Seriously. Russia is all about afternoon delight.

7. They share the subway with feral dogs. Moscow has a huge population of feral dogs. They've learned how to accurately use the subway to get where they want to go. Every subway car is a dog party.

8. They banned emo music. Sorry Fall Out Boy, but this is a good thing. Emo is illegal in their country, because apparently a bunch of whiny middle school kids are dangerous.