Tuesday, February 7, 2012

It was not hardly surprising that Maryamul Azra Bacho had butterflies in her tummy and going through the motion was not extraordinary by any standard.

It was her wedding day.

But hat made the beautiful 18-year-old different and even more nervous was the fact that she was going to meet her husband-to-be in the flesh for the first time.

“We have never met each other, we never dated and we do not know of each other until the day we went through the marriage ritual. That was when I saw him for the first time,” said Maryamul, looking lovingly at her dashingly handsome husband, Mohd Abqari Jafar, 21, yesterday.

It was an arranged marriage for the young couple.

“I am pleased and I accept him as he is. He is my parents’ choice and I believe that they have made the best choice for me and I will take this as my fate,” said Maryamul from Sandakan.

The couple tied the knot on January 24.

“I did feel a little bit awkward initially but I calmed myself down and proceeded with the wedding,” she said when met at the mass wedding reception organised jointly by the Sabah Obedient Wives Club and Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd and TVRSA at Sembulan here.

Maryamul said it was her duty, as the eldest child of three siblings, to obey her parents’ wish as to set good examples for the younger ones.

“When they told me that I was to be wedded, I did not refuse. As a child, I should not be rude to my parents. I am proud to make my parents happy … that is why I accepted what they have planned for me, so I have no problem marrying someone I have never met before. I believe they chose him because he is a good man who will be able to protect and guide me in life faithfully and religiously,” said the blushing bride.

Mohd Abqari, a businessman from Putatan, too felt the awkwardness of communicating with Maryamul for the first time, but after a while, as he learns more about his wife, he knows that they will get along well as a married couple.

“It has been almost two weeks for us living under the same roof. Since we have never met before, it will take some time to get close to one another, but we will try to make the marriage work. I believe having our parents’ blessings will help us to lead a happy life together as husband and wife,” he said.

And, if, along the way, were they to find any hiccup between them, they will simply learn to accept and make compromises, as all ups and downs are simply part of being married. Both Mohd Abqari and Maryamul were among nine celebrant couples at the mass wedding reception.

It was their first marriage for most couples, except for Mohd Amirul Muttaqin Afendi, 22, who took the hands of Zahidah Muhasim, 21, in marriage, as his second wife.

Mohd Amirul Muttaqin Afendi & Zahidah Muhasin

Sarawakian Mohd Amirul was slightly lucky as he had a glimpse of his future bride, Zahidah Muhasin, a 21-year-old lass from Ranau, from photographs sent to him.

“She was my parents’ choice. They showed me pictures of her and we met only once, which was two weeks before we underwent the marriage ceremony at the Sabah Islamic Religious Council’s office here on Feb 3,” he said.

Asked of his first wife’s thoughts about him marrying another, Mohd Amirul replied, “She accepts polygamy. In fact, we will all be living in the same house after this.”

Mohd Amirul married his first wife who is from Perak in 2010.

He disclosed that his parents had arranged for the marriage in November last year and as he learned more about his new bride, Mohd Amirul became more eager and looked forward to the big day.

“While people may think that polygamy is hard, I will work to make my wives happy,” he said.

Carrying on with the family business of selling the famous ‘Kek Lapis Sarawak’, Mohd Amirul said he would be fair to both wives and would not neglect either one.

His parents are attached to Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd, a company which founded the Obedient Wives Club. The family moved from Sarawak to Sabah five years ago.

“Honestly, I do not know how the wedding planning came along, for all I knew was that they had found a bride for me and I obeyed their wish. I accept the marriage with open arms.

“I have no intention of refusing this arranged marriage as I believe something good may come out of it. Luckily, my first wife is a very understanding person and allows me to marry another woman,” he said. As for Zahidah, a kindergarten teacher, she is all ready for what the future holds for her.

“Although I went through an arranged marriage, I believe we will fall in love with each other after getting hitched as there is no restriction to the feelings and we have made it legal in the eyes of the religion.

“Being in a polygamous marriage will not affect me or my life. Although I have to share my husband with another woman, it is alright because I have faith in him and he will play his role as a husband and carry out his responsibilities fairly,” said Zahidah, graciously looking at her husband with a happy smile.

The young couple expressed agreement that polygamy is not wrong but contended that it needs greater understanding between all those involved to ensure the marriage to work.

Zahidah is one good example as she described the beauty of living under one roof with her husband’s first wife.

“Polygamy is not bad, for as long as it is done the right way. One will have to be sincerely truthful to her partner before he takes another wife. The husband, himself, must also accept the fact that he has to be fair and if he has the means to do it, why not?

“As for me, to know each other’s character is something that I look forward to. It is all about accepting one other, not just our beauty, but also our flaws. I have no regret with my decision,” she said.

The OWC teaches women to be submissive to their husband’s needs and promotes polygamy to refrain men from committing adultery.

“I am thankful to the club for teaching me the true value of being married and my role as a wife,” said Zahidah who underwent OWC’s training sessions for newlyweds recently.