Thursday, 26 January 2012

Forced to a diet of elves it generates, locust-like, remarkable original symphonies of startling beauty from its leg-bows. A walking concerto. Music is so beautiful that you have to fail a wisdom test each round in order to hit it.

Pulse Giant

A network of arteries and veins moving in the form of a man, as if a giant had been flayed of all flesh leaving only the tracery of blood. Move and stills as its great heart beats. Still for one round and them moves in another. Attack it and the living blood creeps around you like tentacles and the blue veins try to gouge out your eyes and pull off your limbs. But only one each round. Arteries grasp one round, veins kill the next. Grasp and damage. On and off, on and off.

Barb Ape

An gang of Mandrills that follow you and rips the shit out of you from a distance. They will track you in the wilderness and observe you. Wis test to detect. The next time you see them they will act out in mime your latest mistake you made and make you look like a proper tit. Then they throw their shit at you. They will do this until you lose it and go after them. In which case you will be walking into a trap. They dig pits, bend branches, collect snakes, whatever seems appropriate.

Child Fly

Fat black flies with the heads of blind weeping children. Beg for you to kill them as they go after your soft tissues. In a little high-pitched fly voice, like a soft whine on the edge of your perception going 'kiiiiiillll meeeeee pleeeeease'

Sunday, 22 January 2012

'But why Bird Masks?' I hear you inevitibly cry. 'Don't Kenku already exist in D&D? Aren't the bird-demon-people-things cooler anyway? Is a man wearing a Beholder Mask better than an actual Beholder? What about the material nature of things? What about their physical presence in the imaginative space? Is this really the time or place to be playing silly conceptual games?'

Of course I understand your worries. Allow me to make three simple arguments in explanation.

Argument One

If you follow Kenku long enough, you're going to see them take a shit.

Then you will see them clean up. Eventually no matter how strange the Demon bird-men were to begin with, the irrepressible force of Gygaxian naturalism will consume them and render them quotidian.

Men who happen to be Birds, no matter how strange they begin, must eventually develop a naturalism of their own.

But human beings are already known. There is no challenge to the discovery of the bare facts. The strange internal spaces of mankind however, are still beyond our reach. The darker, invisible reaches of the human soul are as distant to us now as they were a millennia ago. As far as the deeps of the sea or the cold reaches of space.

The deeps of mankind cannot be reached because they are a shadowed space, formed in the hinterland of our reasoning selves and expanding as fast as our power to comprehend them.

Men who happen to be birds can be, and must be explained. People who obsessively wear Bird masks cannot. The reasons for the mask can change as rapidly as our questions, always remaining a short distance out of reach.

All of there are made of varous things stolen from other people. Pictures by Zak S, Stats by James Raggi and mutations by the Scrap Princess. I'm assuming if it's on someones blog or if its part of the OGL then people won't mind me posting it here. if anyone involved wants me to take anyhting down, I will.

Strange Blood

Coastal Dwellers who dream of Lost Cities

The thing with people who were born on the coast is, you never know exactly what’s gotten into the family tree. You will live a long time. You dream of alien landscapes and underground cities. When you wake up, sometimes you can do things you couldn't do before. One day you will visit those cities.

Sometimes you can sense things other people can't, you are less surprised than other races, 1 in 6 Chance. Plus, you have the Search Skill.

Lvl of spell

Spells Per Level

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

1

1

2

2

2

3

3

3

4

4

4

5

5

5

6

6

6

7

2

1

2

2

2

3

3

3

4

4

4

5

5

5

6

6

3

1

2

2

2

3

3

3

4

4

4

5

5

5

4

1

2

2

2

3

3

3

4

4

4

5

5

1

2

2

2

3

3

3

4

4

6

1

2

2

2

3

3

3

7

1

2

2

2

3

8

1

2

2

9

1

Level

XP

Hit Points

Paralyse

Poison

Breath

Device

Magic

Search

0

-

1d6

15

14

17

15

17

2 in 6

1

0

1d6

13

12

15

13

15

2 in 6

2

3000

+1d6

13

12

15

13

15

2 in 6

3

6000

+1d6

13

12

15

13

15

2 in 6

4

12000

+1d6

11

10

13

11

13

3 in 6

5

24000

+1d6

11

10

13

11

13

3 in 6

6

48000

+1d6

11

10

13

11

13

3 in 6

7

96000

+1d6

9

8

9

9

11

4 in 6

8

192000

+1d6

9

8

9

9

11

4 in 6

9

384000

+1d6

9

8

9

9

11

4 in 6

10

576000

Plus 2

7

6

7

7

9

5 in 6

11

768000

Plus 2

7

6

7

7

9

5 in 6

12

960000

Plus 2

7

6

7

7

9

5 in 6

13

1152000

Plus 2

5

4

5

5

7

6 in 6

14

1344000

Plus 2

5

4

5

5

7

6 in 6

15

1536000

Plus 2

5

4

5

5

7

6 in 6

16

1728000

Plus 2

5

4

5

5

7

6 in 6

17

192000 / Lvl

Plus 2

3

3

3

3

5

6 in 6

You are Slowly Changing. Every second level, roll on the chart below.

d12

Your Body Changes..

1

You can excrete fluffy white goop from your face openings. you may spin this disgusting but special blessing rapidly and freakishly into silk like cloth or rope. This takes 1d4 minutes and you can produce 20 feet of rope or a 10 by 10 sheet per day. You have to eat twice as much that day though or its like you ate nothing at all. If had the profession skill in weaving you could make fancier stuff if the dm could stay awake long enough to listen to your dumb idea.

2

You have no colour in your skin, eyes, hair or blood.

3

You can vomit up a collection of organs, which can move independently from your body and spy on stuff with the same senses you have. Because they have eyes and ears. The organs move at your half your normal speed, and you -6 to constitution while your organs are outside your body. They have hit points equal to you unmodified con, and if slain you take a week to grow new ones (and suffering the -6 to con the whole time). You may channel touch range spells/powers from your organs.

4

You can run around real good on all your hands and feet. +10 feet speed when you doing this.

5

You have horrible fangs like a shark that eats glass and meth. Your bite is does 1d6 damage but still counts as unarmed attack for provoking attacks of opportunity.

6

A third eye is growing in your forehead.

7

Your eye lids close vertically.

8

Back becomes scaly with tough ridges.You have massive shoulders a hunched over posture like some kinda bear. And soft white fur grows in patches over your body. This is not however fur, but a symbiotic fungus, that whispers to you secrets! +2 strength +2 wisdom

9

A snake lives n your brain, which is compressed but still with the thinking able. The snake share your thoughts and sorts your memory like a personal assistant . It can leave via your nose or mouth, and likes to spend an hour each day having a bit of a stretch and a mouse. While its inside your head you get +4 int, and +2 to all your knowledge skills. Choose a knowledge skill, the snake is an expert at that knowledge and you have to be pretend to be interested in it or the snake gets huffy and wouldn't help into bribed with mice or attention.

10

Your blood is tiny, rice grain sized ants that are rainbow coloured and do the work of your blood. They sing all the fucking time too, but you have to have your ear right near them to hear. +2 con

11

The shadow you cast acts out your hidden desires

12

You never sleep. You can't sleep. -2 to any checks involving concentration because of constant mild hallucinations. Choose a repetitive task like knitting , mediating , counting , walking in circles, muttering, etc that you spend 4 hours doing instead of sleep to get the mechanical benefits of sleep. If the player suggests masturbation as an activity, they are dull and you should put cigarettes out them, and call them stinky ash tray and jeer at them. Fucking ashtray..

I can't even remember the name of the OSR blog I stole the idea of War Chimps from. But I nicked them from somewhere. The Stats are from Raggi

War Chimp

Speaking, Intelligent Mercenary Chimps.

No-0ne knows where they came from, no-one cares. All that matters is that they are tough, reliable and cheap. War Chimps are the main mercenary class in the area. They provide a core of guards and soldiery. Chimp veterans can have trouble with Drugs, Alchohol and PTSD. They always need money, are up for adventure and bond fast with groups.

ADD +1 to Constitution Modifier

It takes 5 additional items for you to be encumbered.

Level

XP

Hit Points

Paralyze

Poison

Breath

Device

Magic

Climb

0

-

1d8

12

10

15

11

14

3 in 6

1

0

1d10

10

8

13

9

12

3 in 6

2

2200

+1d10

10

8

13

9

12

3 in 6

3

4400

+1d10

10

8

13

9

12

3 in 6

4

8800

+1d10

8

6

10

7

10

4 in 6

5

17600

+1d10

8

6

10

7

10

4 in 6

6

35200

+1d10

8

6

10

7

10

4 in 6

7

70400

+1d10

6

4

7

5

8

5 in 6

8

140800

+1d10

6

4

7

5

8

5 in 6

9

281600

+1d10

6

4

7

5

8

5 in 6

10

422400

Plus 3

4

2

4

3

6

6 in 6

11

563200

Plus 3

4

2

4

3

6

6 in 6

12

140800

/ Level

Plus 3

2

2

2

2

4

6 in 6

Of course, in real life chimps would NOT be good at carrying things long distances. Their build is all wrong, but to hell with that.