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Do you believe in god?

07-31-2006, 01:01 PM

I don't really care if you do or not, just thought this story was funny enough to share, lol

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real,! then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid **** and act like an *******. So, He sent me."

Magnum |TG-18th|

We stand between chaos and order, evil and good, despair and hope - we are the Thin Blue Line, and we will never be broken.

Comment

Lol. I don't even think it's a story. It's a variation on an urban legend that's turned into a joke. Even the most scatter-brained professors aren't silly enough to say or do anything like that. And, it's not likely there are any who are stupid enough to think that would show, prove, or accomplish anything. Professors have said stupid things before, but this is really at the limits of what's believable.

I've heard different versions of the urban legend. This one has a patriotic twist at the end plus a punch line. The other versions I've heard don't but are very similar. One has an evangelical christian twist at the end - obviously designed to show how silly athiestic professors are - and doesn't seem to be aimed at humor. That plus the plain silliness of what the professor says makes me think this isn't a true story. So, there's really no point in debating about how silly the professor's act was or how logical the response is. It's a joke/urban legend; it's not true. Laugh at it if you think it's funny or don't if you think not, and move on. :p

That said, I find it somewhat amusing, even if the whole set up is absurd - probably because it is so absurd. Someone needs to come up with a more sophisticated premise to base it on.

Comment

I've heard this one a few times. I never really found it that funny, because of the context. It's the same reason I dislike "Morel Orel" on Adult Swim. I'm all for lamponing religion (or lack thereof), but I want some tasteful humor meshed in with it.

Comment

I can understand someone being insulted when thier core beliefs are questioned, but isnt it a bit uppity to really believe youre acting "on behalf" of a GOD. I mean the guy challenged god to strike him down...not one of his followers.

And also, the professor did nothing to insult marines/soldiers directly. So the guy takes indirect offense just so he can punch his teacher?

I really have to agree with sor here though. No professor i ever had would even say if they were liberal or conservative, much less take up class time to directly challenge a god......hell unless it was a ethics/sociology/religions class id want to punch the teach just for wasting my time.
"GET ON WITH THE MATH BUDDY!"

Comment

The Christian omniscient omnipotent God is never to busy doing one thing such that it would keep him from doing another. Put another way: if he has enough time to count the hairs on every person on earth, he has the time to take care of a professor AND protect American troops in Iraq.

:D

Commence the next phase, the tangential political discussion!

A policy of freedom for the individual is the only truly progressive policy. -F.A. Hayek

"$250,000 a year won't get me to Central Park West."

Comment

The Christian omniscient omnipotent God is never to busy doing one thing such that it would keep him from doing another. Put another way: if he has enough time to count the hairs on every person on earth, he has the time to take care of a professor AND protect American troops in Iraq.

:D

Commence the next phase, the tangential political discussion!

And like any good leader, God knows how to delegate.

To illustrate, I present this dramatic transcription.

"WTF? Doesn't that hippie jackass know not to tempt Me? Hmm..ok...something to smite him with...crap where's a poorly bolted concrete slab when you really need one?....oh! There's a Marine. OK no problem. PTSD One this is Big Dog over....PTSD One this is Big Dog with a hippy stomp mission over"

Marine sits bolt upright, momentarily distracted from having to choose between drawing pictures of Ronald Reagan beating Iraqi schoolchildren to death with a shovel or doodling Eminem lyrics under the latest pseudo celtic tattoo design he's been working on...