Gangster kid to female friend: I don't care. I ain't goin' there early. Ain't nobody care.Friend: But you have a test!Gangster kid: I'm the sexiest guy in my bio class, so I can do whatever the hell I want!

Queer friend to gangsta, enthusiastically: So, lemme ask you a question! How did you decide you wanted to go through with getting initiated and everything?Gangsta: What?Queer friend: Like, how did you decide you wanted to join?(gangsta whispers into friends ear, cautiously)Queer friend, loudly: So, that's it? You just walk up to them and say, “hey! I'd like to join the bloods”?

Guy on cell: You start dating married women, you end up meeting their husbands.

–49th & 6th

Man on cell (guiltless and disinterested): She said I cheated, duh-duh-duh-duh.

–Church St & Barclay

Overheard by: Robert J. Anderson

Female suit on cell: He cheated on me on my 30th birthday in Nantucket and I called my mom to tell her and she said, "Are you ready to give up that lifestyle? He's wealthy and he's gorgeous. I don't want to hear it." But I want someone to be über-attracted to me.

–19th & 8th

Overheard by: Sebastian White

Dude on cell: Hello? (pause) I told you never to call me on this number. (pause) Because I don't want my wife to find out that we're dating.

–6th Ave & 17th St

Psuedo-gansta to friend: Yo, I would cheat on my wife except then you gotta buy them flowers and chocolate and shit. I'd rather spend money on my wife and be happy at home.

–N Train

Girl on cell, doing laundry: Yeah…and then he says that he has a girlfriend and he doesn't cheat on her…so I said, "Really? Then what was your penis just doing in my mouth?"

Kid #1: They be profiling us, though! Did you see the way the cops came directly up to us?Kid #2: Calm down, peoples is lookin’ at us.Kid #1: That shit pisses me off though! They think we all just smoke weed and sell drugs!Kid #2: But that’s all we ever do, smoke week and sell drugs![Kids laugh, onlookers try not to].

Wannabe gangster, on opposite Up escalator, watching couple in their mid-20s kissing on Down escalator: Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.[Girl flashes a thumbs-up behind the guy’s back.]Wannabe gangster: Yo, that bitch is COOL!

Gangsta #1: You guys have any weed?White hippie: No, sorry. We have some booze coming soon, though.Gangsta #2: Booze? What the hell?Gangsta #1: Drinks, you dumbass… [To hippie] That’s cool, that’s cool.White hippie: Have a good one!