The Ultimate in Lazy

I'm trying to decide which is the more worthless invention; the Octodog or the bread crust cutter. So far, I'm leaning toward the cutter.

If you bought one of these crust cutters or have ever even thought it would be a good idea to use one, you have failed at living skills and need to turn in your merit badge for basic survival. In return, you will get your merit badge in "being really fucking lazy." It's called a knife, you can probably find it in your kitchen drawer.

Comments

Yeah, i think this almost rivaling the premixed peanut butter and jelly in a tube. Eventually we'll have robot servants who just shovel the pure lard into our toothless sagging maws. They'll then rub our throats and tell it's all going to be okay.

Hey, don't knock the cutter. I bet it comes in really handy for toothless one-armed people who can't both hold the sandwich and operate the knife at the same time, but are somehow able to spread PB & J without a problem...

Nope, I got nothing. Anybody who purchases one of those should be sterilized so the "waste of skin" gene doesn't get passed on.

How about the pasta cooking tube? It's an As Seen on TV thing where you put the uncooked pasta in and add boiling water and it cooks the pasta? If I'm going to go to all the trouble of boiling the water, I may as well just throw the pasta in the pot and cook it. Oh, to anyone who owns one, watch out, the strainer at the top doesn't fit tighhtly enough and then your pasta gets dumped in the sink...

I've never seen the Octodog before this and I have to admit, I'm a little creeped out by it. Maybe I've been watching too much Buffy the Vampire Slayer but that "dog" looks like a real brain-sucker to me!

Well, I have a fundamental issue with cutting crusts off. I swear, just eat the stupid crust.

And cutting a sandwich into triangles is boring. I think I learned the alphabet because my mom cut my toast into a different letter every morning. She should get some award for managing to cut toast into an "S".

Neil, spoken like a man who has never had a three-year-old pitch a fit because the crusts were on the bread.

Hell, I was babysitting my friend's kids and one had a screaming fit because--and this is a quote--"Mommy always gives me more crackers than that."

I was trying to give him less because he kept putting off his snack because he wanted to wait for Mommy to come home. My choice: Let the kid get himself into tantrum zone, or give him more goldfish and have a happy child for the rest of the afternoon.

I gave him a handful more of crackers.

Some fights aren't worth fighting.

Speaking of fighting, welcome back, Michele. Took you longer than I thought it would.

I further the above who asked 'why cut off the crusts?' Unless you have some well-baked bread for kids with few teeth, there's no reason I can fathom.

I think its Smuckers who sells these crustless PB&J pockets. Take em out of the freezer, 15 secs of microwave and the kids have lunch. The only even lazier than that is to buy PB&J sandwiches at a 7-11.