Episode 6 is here! And once again the writers are forced to dedicate an entire
episode in an attempt to convince the viewers that Sam and Brooke really hate
each other’s guts. Let’s see if they have managed to succeed this time.

Present

The scene opens with Sam and Brooke sitting next to each other on two chairs.
They are both covered in brown foodstuffs.
A chocolate body paint experiment gone horribly wrong, perhaps?
Inquisitive minds need to know.
But alas, judging from the fact that the entire school cafeteria is a mess, this
had been the result of a Food Fight. And, naturally, Sam and Brooke are the
culprits behind this fight since they hate each other so much, remember? Anyway,
Sam and Brooke bitch about each other to an unseen third person. They are both
saying how much the other influences them and how the other is changing her into
a different person and all that.
Harsh language and no mistake.
But it seems there can be no scene where Sam and Brooke do not look at each
other somewhat longingly. And yes, these two bitter foes, who cannot stand each
other’s presence and can only be satisfied when their person source of evil has
died a horribly slow death, look at each other and are about to kiss when they
suddenly remember that they aren’t alone in the room.

Last Monday - 7:29 AM

We are in the house of Sam and Jane. Sam knows that Jane and Mike have had sex
on the kitchen floor there last Friday. She tries to lure Jane out into the open
and confess that she indeed had sex with Mike. Jane, however, avoids the issue,
saying that nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Sam then drops a few
not-so-subtle hints that she knows, then leaves. Jane looks worried.

The Palace. Brooke wants to know where Mike has been that Friday. Mike admits
that he has spent the night with Jane. Brooke then goes onto a rant about Truth
and Honesty and that the absence of these two were important in causing her
eating disorder. Mike then promises that he is going to be honest and that there
will be no further sneaking around.

Yo, Still Monday - 9:04 AM

In Biology class, Miss Glass announces a Midterm Test. Nothing much else happens
here, but I thought I should mention it since this test is sort of what this
episode is all about.

During a break, Harrison walks around on the school grounds with a golf bag.
Josh and Sugar Daddy (who would probably have been holding hands if it weren’t
for the fact that the viewers are still supposed to think that Josh is with
Brooke) walk up to Harrison and ask him what the deal is with the golf stuff.
Harrison tells them that it helps him relax and study better. Josh and SD leave
and Sam walks up to Harrison. Harrison tells Sam how much he hates those popular
jocks.
We now see Brooke and Nicole, walking arm in arm, laughing loud.
Sam tells Harrison that she knows the feeling, except that she doesn’t sound
angry but more sort of sad. We can but wonder why.
Anyway, Sam walks up to Brooke and Nicole. Nicole, obviously, starts glaring at
Sam. Brooke, however, doesn’t want to look Sam in the eyes. Scared that Nicole
might notice something, maybe? Unfortunately, Sam did not walk up to them to do
the most logical thing and kiss Brooke. Instead it appears that Mike had forgot
and piece of clothing when he spent the night with Jane, so she hands it to
Brooke, implying that their parents had sex. Brooke is not upset about this. She
and Mike are all about Honesty. Only the Truth rules in the Palace. Mike is
Honest with Brooke and Brooke is always Honest to everyone. Brooke, of course,
knew what was going on, because Mike was Honest enough to tell her. And so on
and so forth.
Anyway, before the girls part ways, Sam can’t help but insult Brooke mildly and
then feels guilty about it.

In the school library, Brooke is trying to study, but Sam’s implication about
parental sex is ringing in her head. It is clear that Brooke did not know what
was going on. So, in short, Brooke is a hypocritical liar.
At another table in the library Nicole, Mary Cherry and Popita are complaining
about the test because they will miss the Charlie’s Angels marathon in order to
study. Now, I don’t know a lot about popularity, but nowadays teens never, never,
EVER talk about Charlie’s Angels. And if they do, it’s about the movie and not
about the TV-show. Anyway, the girls decide that they can’t live without staring
in awe at Farah Fawcett, so they decide to steal the answers from Miss Glass.
Their theft succeeds, by the way.

Tuesday, Bio-Test Eve - 12:35 PM

In the Novak, Brooke is busy stressing out. Mary Cherry, Popita and Nicole show
up and are worried about her. Nicole reveals that she has stolen the test
answers and says that Brooke can have a look in order to calm her down.
Sam emerges from one of the stalls, makes it clear to the blondes and the
African-American that she overheard the conversation, and leaves.

During lunch time, the brunettes all tell each other how much they failed at
studying yesterday. Sam shows up and tells them that the blondes are going to
cheat. She then goes on to say that their results will suffer because of the
cheating. Fortunately, Emory Dick, who, for some reason, sits with the rest of
the gang, has a plan. He has fake doctor’s excuses, guaranteed to get you out of
any test for just $150.
Sam leaves the table and walks past the popular table, where she sizes up her
adversaries. The popular girls (minus Brooke) all glare at Sam. Brooke,
obviously, does not. Then the cheerleaders start whispering amongst each other
in order to deal with this new development. Brooke snaps at them, but
fortunately doesn’t go into another rant about Truth and Honesty.

Since this episode is about Brooke and Sam, Mr Grant has been allowed to make
another appearance. Sam tells Mr Grant about the overheard conversation in the
Novak, but Mr Grant thinks that Sam needs more solid proof. Sam decided to go
and get it.

Brooke goes home and into the kitchen. Moments later Jane shows up dressed
solely in one of Mike’s shirts. Then Mike appears in a similar state of undress.
Understandably, Brooke’s higher brain functions shut down as Mike and Jane try
to come with some excuse and apologise at the same time. Brooke, once again,
starts ranting about the value of Truth and Honesty and makes hints that if this
keeps up, she might forget new habits. Like eating.

Wednesday - It’s Morning

Not much happens here. It’s just a few scenes about how the Dead Teens Walking
are having to make the test. Sam notices that Mary Cherry, Popita and Nicole are
all finished rather quickly. She tries to point this fact out to Miss Glass, who
doesn’t pay attention.

Thursday, Judgement Day

The test results are in. All the blondes did great, all the brunettes did not.
Sam congratulates Brooke on her test results. Brooke then insults Sam about
hers.
I’m really starting to dislike Brooke in this ep. Not as much as Harrison,
obviously, but still.

Anyway, Sam thinks that Brooke and the rest of the cheerleaders cheated on the
test. She enlists Harrison to find out more inside information by playing caddie
for Josh and Sugar Daddy. Harrison agrees.

Josh and Sugar Daddy play golf, thanking Harrison for the
‘golf-is-relaxing-tip’. Anyway, as they play golf, Josh reveals that he got an A
on the test. HUH? An A? How the Hell did he do that? All the previous episodes
clearly indicated that he’s just a little bit brighter than Forest Gump and now
he got an A? Anyway, Sugar Daddy reveals that he got a B and that he cheated to
get it. He says he got the answers from Nicole. Josh is mad at SD for cheating,
then wants to know if Brooke cheated as well. Harrison is smiling with sinister
glee since he got it all on tape.

Friday, Word, T.G.I.F

Sam walks up to Harrison and asks him for the tape. Harrison refuses to give it
to Sam, saying that Josh and SD didn’t say anything about the test. Sam doesn’t
believe him. Harrison then snaps at her and leaves to hang out with SD. Sam sees
this, breaks into Harrison locker and gets the tape.

Josh walks up to Brooke and asks her if she cheated. Brooke freaks, saying that,
although Mike is not Honest, she is. Then she starts to freak some more,
hyperventilates and passes out.

Another Manic Monday

Sam walks up to Mr Grant, saying that she’s got the article and the proof to
back it up. Mary Cherry overhears this.

Over at the unpopular table, Sam brags a little about her article, saying that
the cheaters will be revealed and that, as a result, the grading scale will be
readjusted which will give them and the rest of the non-cheaters fairly decent
results.
Harrison, Josh and Sugar Daddy enter, talking to each other. Sam walks up to
them. She wants Harrison’s permission to print the article. Harrison ignores
Sam, however, since he’s busy hanging out with his new friends.
Sam, pissed off, storms off and gives Mr Grant permission to print the article.

In the Novak, Sam tells Brooke about the article. After a few more insults
Brooke suddenly begs Sam not to print the thing. Sam agrees not to print the
article if Brooke admits that she’s a hypocritical liar. Brooke, doing her first
Honest thing in the entire episode, admits that she’s a hypocritical liar.
Brooke sits down, then breaks down. In a stream of tears she confesses that she
took the answers out of Nicole’s locker and cheated. Seeing Brooke like this
touches a soft spot in Sam and she hears Brooke out. Brooke opens up completely
to her most hated enemy, pouring her heart out about everything that’s currently
wrong in her life. Sam is obviously moved by this, then asks Brooke why she’s
telling all of this. Brooke then says that Sam is the only person in the entire
world who understands her and who knows what she’s going through. In short,
Brooke needs Sam.
Sam, realising this, promises that she won’t print the article. Brooke then says
that Sam should print the article, because crime has to be punished after all.
Sam then says that Brooke’s suffered enough already and that she won’t print the
article.
I don’t think I have to tell you how much this scene was filled with both sexual
tension and honest love.

Sam races towards the guy who prints the Zapruder Reporter. True to her word,
she asks if she can remove her article. Unfortunately, she’s too late. That
idiot Mr Grant decided that the cheating story was very important and had to be
printed immediately, without the usual delay.
Sam both despairs and is wrecked with guilt as she realises that she has just
messed up big-time.

Tuesday, Bloody Tuesday

Remember last time when Sam wanted to fight injustice and right a wrong?
Exactly, everybody got mad at her. And today is no different. Popita, Nicole and
Mary Cherry are all shooting daggers at Sam and the rest of the population isn’t
very happy with her either.

Josh and Sugar Daddy confront Harrison, wanting to know where Sam got that
information. Josh and Harrison then start fighting. The physical kind, not the
verbal kind. Sam steps in and breaks the two apart. Now either Sam is really
strong or Josh and Harrison are complete sissies. Possibly both.
Anyway, Josh and SD leave. God has apparently decided to answer my prayers,
because Harrison never wants to talk to Sam again.
YES!!!!

Brooke is in the Novak, an emotional wreck and almost to far gone for
professional therapy. Nicole enters and tries to console Brooke to the best of
her abilities. Brooke confesses that she cheated on the test and says that Sam
has used her to get the information for her article.
We all know this isn’t true, but the fact that Brooke seems to believe this
might put a strain on their relationship.

In Biology class, Sam seems desperate in her attempts to apologise to Brooke.
Brooke however, has just experienced an emotional shut-down and insults Sam.
Miss Glass moves in with a copy of the Zapruder Reporter in her hand. She knows
that there was one, possibly more, blonde cheerleader cheater. She says that, if
nobody comes forward, everybody gets an F. She then lays the pressure on Brooke.
Brooke is busy collapsing and falling apart. Sam sits next to her, helpless and
despairing.
Brooke is about to confess when, in a moment of integrity, Nicole steps forward
and admits that she cheated. On Glass’ question if there were any other cheaters
Mary Cherry is suspiciously quick to say that there aren’t any. Nicole picks up
on this.

Principal Cecilia Hall is mad at Nicole. Nicole is unmoved by this, saying that
it’s no big deal that she cheated since, after all, everybody in the entire
world cheats in one way or the other. Principal Hall understands this and
forbids Nicole to cheerlead during next week’s Homecoming game.

During lunch break, Nicole is giving Popita and Mary Cherry the silent
treatment. Popita tries her very best to apologise. She even offers Nicole an
opportunity to insult her looks, outfit, whatever. Mary Cherry, the Good
Christian Texan, also feels sorry for Nicole, then says that she deserved it
because Cheaters Never Win.

Meanwhile, Sam tries to get Harrison to talk to her. I can’t see why, but then,
I think Harrison’s a bastard after all. Fortunately, Harrison is still not
willing to talk to Sam, but he is willing to fight with her. The ‘arguments’
Harrison uses are preposterous, untrue and make no sense whatsoever. In an
attempt to shut him up, Lily throws a bun at Harrison. Harrison responds by
throwing a bun at Sam. Sam then reaches for a cupcake and throws it at Harrison.
She hits Brooke.
Sam hides her face in her hands, feeling guilty and very sorry. Brooke decides
to act like a total bitch, insults Sam and smears ketchup all over her. Sam then
throws either cola or chocolate milk in Brooke’s face.
Emory Dick declares an official Food Fight, then hides under the table.
So, everyone throws food at each other and have great fun. Brooke and Sam are
actually laughing, but even through all the silliness Sam still knows that
Brooke’s balancing on the edge of a cliff, so she takes this opportunity to feed
Brooke as much as she can.

Present

So, having now told the story, Principal Hall, Mike and Jane understand how the
food fight came into being. They now probably also know about all the cheaters.
Anyway, while Sam and Brooke are busy drowning in each other’s eyes, Mike and
Jane admit that they are partially guilty in all of this and are going to do
something about it.

At the Palace, Mike and Jane talk. Sam and Brooke are sitting next to each,
opposite of their parents. Their arms are folded across their chests because
that looks more impressive. Otherwise they’d probably be holding hands. Jane and
Mike express a fond hope that Brooke and Sam can be friends.
Sam and Brooke, sworn enemies to the end, band together.
“Sam, side with here. That is never going to happen. Tell them.”
“Brooke’s right. We have a firm commitment.”
But alas, the parentals are actually listening, so Sam has to add:
“To disliking each other.”
Then Mike and Jane decide to spring the news that next week the McPhersons are
going to move in with the McQueens.
As the screen starts to fade to black, Sam and Brooke look at each. What is it
that is written on their faces? Fear? Despair? Hope? Love? All of the above?

Tune in next week when Sam moves in with Brooke. Will everything go smoothly?
Will the Homecoming game continue without any of the cheerleaders? And what
about the musical? It was the same day as the game, after all.
Find out all this and more, next week.