I am OUTRAGED!!! Yesterday, I heard the news that a man went on a rampage at a nursing facility in Carthage, NC, killing 8 people including 7 residents and 1 nurse. When I heard that, I told my fiancee "I bet you he is an abuser." I wish I wasn't right, but I was... and sadly I wasn't surprised...

When is society going to truly understand that they can no longer claim Domestic Violence as just a "Family Issue" that should stay behind closed doors and not be talked about? When are they going to understand that abusers don't just hurt those that they love, but others as well? We hear about the extreme cases, such as this, but there are many others that don't touch the mainstream. In jails, there are many abusers that have done other crimes, and many in the jails grew up in abusive households. Abuse creates tendencies in many that can truly continue to harm society! So, when is society going to help do something about it?

Read More on the UAADV NC Blog, please, post your comments on how this makes you feel, your opinions, and share any information you may have that is relevant to this post! Maybe you had an abuser that has done something similar, has done other crimes other then the Domestic Violence committed toward you. Please, help us make Society aware that this IS a Societal Issue NOT a Family Issue!

March 24, 2009

This was written by a mother who recently won the right to keep her child safe. She fought a long, hard battle… against too many people willing to help her abuser keep the abuse alive. HER abuser is (or was?) stationed in Charleston, SC. As we celebrate her victory, please remember that there are SO MANY other victims being treated just as badly, or worse by those sworn to protect us. We will not stop. Our children deserve safety, and we are all dedicated to this. The mother’s are speaking out.. Can YOU hear them?? ~WyldeFaerie~

I was asked to share an update of my long journey in search of justice with others. Others, who like me, have been forced to learn many of life’s most terrifying lessons the hard way and by those who we entrusted our safety with.

When I first began my long journey, I never even knew that we had two different types of Senators in each state. But because the crimes committed against me, were inflicted by a member of the United States Coast Guard, I quickly learned the Multi Levels and Confusing Structure of our Government. Three years later and I am still confused. Because not only was I victimized by the man that I loved and trusted, but I also suffered by the lack of actions by his colleagues and superiors. I like to reference these individuals as. “ The boys in blue club”

I learned due to hands on experience of having dozens of doors shut again and again while I continued to hope, plead, pray and search for safety. I can’t even tell you (because it was a lot) how many times, I heard the statement from Law Enforcement and Government Officials

“How sorry they were because their Office was unable to help me, because it was outside of their Jurisdiction”…

And then this Office gave me another number of another Office to call, and Guess what,,, 9 out of 10 of these Offices told me the same damn thing. Talk about frustration, disappointment and worse of all Despair.

When I finally had enough money, I hired an Attorney. When I first met with my Divorce Attorney, she told me that the Court frowned upon parents who refused to allow the other parent contact with their child. I remember staring at her in disbelief and saying, “Why would any legal/law official force me to place my child in danger and she said because that’s just the way it goes. I went home from her office that day and cried. I remember being so confused, terrified, disgusted and not knowing what to do or which way to turn.

A few days later I had to go down to the Police Station to report threats, that I received from my ex husband. I was informed by the SGT on that my husband had just been down to the police station with an Order out of a State (FL) (note a State He DID Not LIVE IN) and that he requested that NH Police assist him in serving me with this Emergency Custody of our Daughter. The Officer informed me, that I was lucky that I held a Restraining Order against him or they would have helped him serve this order. I perceived this as they would have assisted him in ripping my everything (my child), from my arms.

I remember not believing that a Judge could never have allowed this, I remember the feeling of horror when I realized they had. I kept replying the “What if’s over and over in my head. What if they enforced this order, what if he took her, What if I didn’t have the RO Order Against him, what if, What if. For weeks I couldn’t get out of my own way. I wanted to die, but if I died, I knew that all I did was endanger my child even more.

Prior to this I had sought the help of Coast Guard Work Life members and Coast Guard Commanders and watched how their definition of confidentially, meant informing the member that a report had been placed against them and then I suffered both physically and mentally because that member took out his rage on me.

For a long time I debated on whether or not it was easier being a victim of domestic violence verse that of a being a Survivor. I never ever thought that our Court and Justice System were favorable to the Offender verse that of the Victims…. but I soon learned that most times that was the case….

I called organizations who “marketed themselves as those who help domestic violence victims”. Sadly, more than less informed me that the crimes and abusive actions I suffered from and continued to suffer from were just not “Not Bad Enough”… Well, I personally view any form of abuse, whether it be mental, physical or sexual abuse as equally as horrible and terrifying as the other.

To date the UAADV is the only one who did not display prejudice towards me and require that I be a “specialized victim of a certain form of abuse”.. Thank you UAADV for fighting equally for all victims of violence.

I went back to my Attorney with a message, I told her that I hired her to fight for what was right and that was exactly was she was going to do. I told her ‘Screw the Bandwagon Approach” because I would rather die than place my child in harm’s way. Well she did just this and guess what? It got worse, the harder I stood the harder my Ex tried to make me fall. He falsely accused me of crimes and then his boys in blue fans arrested me. Each time I wanted to give up/give in but I kept remembering that I was dead if he ever got her.

My daughter and I went into hiding, my ex found us, the court showed little and in many occasions no mercy. The Coast Guard continued to enable a Mad Man because he could drive a boat. They even failed to garnish this jack asses pay for 14 plus months until Senator Kennedy's Office kicked the crap out of them and I went public and had to let the world know all about my worst nightmares, in order to expose their Dishonorable Actions.

I am still fighting them til this day and I will continue to do so until they get their Shit Straight and realize why men went to war… “ To Protect the Women and Children at Home”…. They need to go back to their Grass Roots instead of their continuous acts to cover up their many violations of the Lautenberg Amendment and concerns with obtaining Qualified Bowsenmates, instead of Protecting Safety of Women and Children,

To tell the remainder of the 3 year story would require me to write a Novel. But what I learned was that Our Justice-Court System is in Need of Renovating. To many people turn a blind eye….I learned how important it is for Women to be familiar with the laws, acts and amendments that we have in place to protect us. And how we need to remind Congress and Our Justice System on the reason why each was put in place…

As of Friday March 13, 2009, I won the most important thing in my entire world. My ex husband terminated all of his parental rights to my daughter. It cost me every penny I had plus some. Essentially I bought her Freedom. But This Day became my Independence Day.

I finally won because he gave up his right to ever hurt me again.

The rest of issues caused because of this tragedies actions, I will deal with… And I will deal each of them. I am smarter and I am stronger now. The wrongful actions only enabled and empowered me.

Knowledge is Power.

I will fight Even Harder Because

“I Will Never Forget”

Remember

“A Mothers Love is the Fuel That Gives Us the Strength to DO the Impossible and Together We Are Unstoppable.”

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