Sex Week: A Guide to Loving a Geek

Star Wars, Firefly, Halo, Buffy, Preacher, Alien, Battlestar Galactica — these are all staples in my life, all of which have seeped into my movie/TV viewing schedule, my everyday conversations, and even my apartment decor. Being in a relationship with a geek has expanded my artistic tastes and allowed me to be a part of a larger community, but, most importantly, it has provided me with the chance to connect with someone who holds these and other areas of fandom near and dear to his heart. For the throngs of men and women who may be longing for similar relationship bliss this Valentine’s Day, I submit to you the following suggestions for finding love with a geek (or coming to terms with your geek-tastic significant other).

The most important step to a successful relationship with a fanboy or fangirl is to realize that your partner is, was, and forever shall be… a geek. Far too many women (and men) who follow the Sex and the City model of believing that you can change your partner on a molecular level are sorely mistaken; a person who can name Isaac Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics will not be trading in his Philip K. Dick novels for tickets to Confessions of a Shopaholic any time soon. Before giving your nerdy lover the boot, learn to compromise. There are undoubtably a few quirky interests of yours that give your significant other pause, so take time to focus on each other’s likes. You’ll be surprised how much appreciation you will receive from your honey when you ask if you could watch an episode of Clone Wars together. And, who knows; you may enjoy it! (Don’t be afraid to ask questions as you venture into this need geek territory. Your sweetie will think it’s adorable that you are taking an interest, and s/he will feel super cool to impress you with his or her geek knowledge.)

The next step requires a bit of incentive on your part. If you have allowed yourself to accept your better half’s geek cred, the time has come for you to be proactive. Let’s say that you have integrated a bit of give and take into your relationship; one night you play a few rounds of World of Warcraft, and the next you spend doing The New York Times crossword puzzle together. It is important that you find your own peace with geekdom. Without the help of your Valentine, find a new graphic novel, video game, RPG, TV series, podcast, or movie to try. Your selection should be something that piques your interest, as this about no one but you. By no means must you become a born-again geek, but it will be an exciting leap for you to find a new medium to enjoy, and it will also be something that you can share with your honey (who will without a doubt be impressed).

By this time, if you have opened your mind to understanding your partner’s interests, I have a feeling that a number of results have occurred: 1) you have witnessed how happy it makes your cutie to see you take an active interest in him or her; 2) in light of this happiness, you have in turn received the same consideration with your hobbies; and, 3) there may even be a few new movies, TV series, graphic novels, or other geek goodies that have discovered and can share with your lover. The real key to finding love with a geek is simply being open and communicative with one another. If you love The Hunger Games and s/he loves MC Front-a-Lot, encourage the other to try it with the hopes that you can love it together. There is nothing better than being able to share a common interest with someone you love.

Founded in 2004, CC2K offers geeks of all stripe an array of portals into pop-culture fandom. Aficionados of movies, TV, books, music, comics and video games all have a home at CC2K, which publishes reviews and in-depth essays about all kinds of media. We attract more than 5 million page views annually.