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Sunday, October 13, 2013

October...da da dum...THIRTHEENTH

October 13. Thirteen. It even sounds
scary. In my day job – nursing- we have many superstitions. Full
moons – bring out craziness, speaking the word 'quiet'- causes it
to be anything but, never passing up the chance to eat a snack
-because you may never get a chance to eat again.

Do I actually believe these things?

YES.

What happens when you comment on how
quiet the department is when you forget your lunch one Friday the
13th midnight shift with a full moon? Well let's see –
killer pimp, lice epidemic, three cardiac arrests and someone who
actually chewed through a restraint.

“Welcome Spring Green." Tony
wiped his face with both hands, pushing his trademark hat off kilter.
"Have we enlarged our ranks?” The entire Underground was
anxious for Mary to be delivered. The Underground had yet to log a
successful birth, but there was always hope.

“No, just us four at present. But Deb
says tomorrow will be the big day. What’s the word on burn-out?”
Dave leaned closer to the screen.

“Bad man. Let’s leave it at that.”
Tony looked around, distracted. “Keep a weather eye man. They’ll
be coming your way tonight.” Noises could now be heard off camera.
Hammering.

“We’re ready. Generator is fueled
up, windows wired, wine chilled.” Jake squeezed his face closer to
Dave, into the webcam's view.“What’s going on over there Tony?
Sounds like you guys are rebuilding already.”

“What? Oh, that’s nothing.” Tony
looked over his shoulder and then back at the camera. “Shit’s
A-okay here boss.” He leaned into the camera and smiled. Both Dave
and Jake leaned closer. There was something not quite right in the
way his pupils were dilated. His mouth twitched just barely, at the
lower lip.

“You sure things are fine?” Dave
put his hand up to the screen, as though Tony could feel his touch
and Tony placed his left palm to Dave’s in response.

“No man, its not."He looked away
from the screen for a second. "Give the newest member a kiss on
the noggin’ for me boys.” Palm still on the screen he raised a
bottle of whiskey and toasted the camera before draining the bottle
dry. “My time is up.” Tony pulled his hand away, dropped the
whiskey bottle to the ground and turned his back on the camera. The
pounding had grown louder and more frantic. In the background of the
camera’s shot a window blew out and three grey arms in tattered
clothing reached through. The leading arm snagged on the jagged glass
leaving a bit of fabric and a chunk of oozing flesh. Dave and Jake
leaned back and gasped. And then they watched as, in slow motion,
Tony lifted his arm and raised a pistol.

The blast was amplified by the
microphone clipped to his shirt. It took less than a second for the
fedora to flip backwards and cover the screen, stopping all but a
thin slip of blood from hitting the screen.

“Oh!” Debra cried out and buried
her face in her hands. Both men looked from the television to each
other in disbelief.

“Deb, can I eat? All at once, I am
starving.” Mary waddled into the kitchen, her voice loosening the
grasp death had on the others in the room. “Did I just miss
something?”

“No, nothing. Madison is having
trouble signing in. Are you okay to be down here?” Jake didn’t
move from his place in front of the screen but it was clear that his
concern had shifted across the room to his wife and unborn child.

“I’m fine. Let’s fix spaghetti.
Deb? You sure everything’s okay?” Mary placed a hand on the
counter to steady herself as she looked out the kitchen window.“Still
snowing a ... Hey!" Her shout made everyone jump. "Something
is out there."

Everyone scrambled. Jake began flipping
switches on a control panel on the interior wall of the kitchen.
Electricity hummed through the wired window frames. The system was
set to pulsate every ten seconds through windows both upstairs and
down in a random sequence. A large spot light flooded the area
outside the kitchen window. Dave grabbed the shotgun beside the door
and Deb lifted the one lying on the island. Mary remained at the
window. "Oh wait, I think it was just that stupid bush."
She turned to see her three friends freeze mid movement, glancing
warily at one another.

"That does it. I am cutting that
stupid shrubbery down first thing tomorrow." Jake deflated with
a heavy sigh.

"Not the ...shrubbery!" Mary
said in her best falsetto, English voice. When no one laughed she
gave Jake a questioning look and he crossed the kitchen in three
large steps, wrapping his wife in flannel clad arms.

"Madison had some trouble."
His voice caught in his throat. There was no mention of Tony. Too
many gone. It just wasn't done.

The room was silent save for the
alternating hum of electrons and the rapid sequence of city names
logging through the television. Each face that appeared gave a sign –
crossed fingers or hearts, peace signs, open palm to the screen –
in acknowledgment of the red light on Spring Green’s screen, the
light which indicated a possible attack.

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I'm a landlocked beach bum here on the Coast of Illinois. No...not that Coast, you know, the one with broad shoulders. The other Coast. The one with tug boats and Arches and a bunch of ancient dead guys buried in Mounds.
I am an inadvertent sailor-thanks to my husband and our 15 foot handmade wooden sloop...for which I made the sails!
I am here to promote the beach bum lifestyle, even when surrounded by corn and clay and I hope to point out the everyday weirdness that is easy to miss because once you start seeing hairnets, you will never stop seeing hairnets.

I have a palm tree necklace. It set us back a whole ten dollars, purchased on the boardwalk in Destin, Florida during the first trip ...

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