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The misery of failure

That’s a sober and glum title don’t you think? One were I’m wallowing in self-pity and self-absorption. A friend said to me once that it’s alright being misery and feeling sorry for yourself for a little time, like a couple of days, but after that you need to ‘snap out of it’. Well that’s alright, It’s just a standard whinge I’m doing here, and don’t worry, I’ll be ‘snapping right out of it’ afterwards. The object of my misery? The failure of my plan to ditch my epilepsy medication.

In one of my last posts, I described how happy I was not to be using my epilepsy drugs any more. But, unfortunately this was not the way that the ‘cookie crumbled’ if you know what I mean. In May I went to Exeter for the weekend with some friends and had a massive seizure in the middle of Exeter. That was at lunchtime on Saturday. I woke up the next day at, 24 hours after I went down. When I was fully awake again a consultant came to see me, a very professional and articulate woman. After examining me she asked me why I had stopped my medication. My answer was very simple;

“Because they make me feel terrible” I said to her.

“Well, I can’t do anything about the symptoms” she replied “but I can do something about your seizures with this medication, please take it Mark.”

That was it, it was the only thing she said. So, I carried her instructions to the hilt I’ve done this because so direct and professional was her approach that I could not see any other way to go but that way. I now know that I have to take these tablets, because that’s the way it is. I know that’s a complete U-turn from what I said in my other post about my epilepsy drugs and I accept that, yes I’m taking one for the team here, I’m stuck with these drugs for the rest of my life and it’s something that has to be done. So, like many people before me all I can do is that

PS, I know that is taken a long time for me to post this, this happened in May its nearly September and I’m very sorry about that, but if like me you have had a stroke you know that procrastination is the buzz word here and eventually I will post something about it, see what I mean. See your next time, take care, Mark.

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One thought on “The misery of failure”

Hi Mark, a very powerful piece which explains your dilemma. Obviously in life we all make choices. One choice over another is not failure but weighing up the pros and cons. Each of us are different and will choose different paths. Who knows what medical science offers on the future. We all live for today if we have sense.