This Night Owl Blog has given so much!
It is a fun place, we don't bash and we have fun being "tedious"!
We offer advice, give love, lots of free food and an open forum which can be about anything that is important, thought provoking or just plain silly.
And sometimes we just March (some to different drummers, but all together). :)
It is not about a single person, it is about all the people on any given day blended together.....Goldie!

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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Clean Humor

by Dianne

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too..'

*****

As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing.

After mulling over my answers, she remarked,

'My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them..'

*****

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now. Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years, you'll be too old to do all those things anyway.'

******

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children..

One day, I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed. 'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, 'Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but

how do they get there in the first place?' After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, 'You don't have to make up something, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer.'

*****

Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. 'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I told him. 'I'm going to Iraq .' 'Why?' he asked. 'Don't you know there's a war going

on over there?'

*****

Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood diseases. One afternoon, he and is wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't know Newman was a famous movie star, explained, That's the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you've seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle?' Blank stares. 'Well, you've probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.' An eight-year-old girl perked up. 'How long was he missing?'

*****

... and my personal favorite ...God's Problem Now:

His wife's graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a

massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

Health officials say as many as 16 people have died from possible listeria illnesses traced to Colorado cantaloupes, the deadliest food outbreak in more than a decade.CDC reported the 72 illnesses and deaths in 18 states. Cases of listeria were reported in California, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Maryland, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Texas, Virginia, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. The most illnesses were reported in Colorado, which has seen 15 sickened. Fourteen illnesses were reported in Texas, 10 in New Mexico and eight in Oklahoma.

Hi...MICHAEL: Thanks for the warning. I have been off melons for a few weeks now. I went for my annual physical yesterday and my dr wrote down some "to do" items for me. She wrote to eat more cantaloup and bananas. Sheesh!!!!

Morning TINA: I have to agree with MICHAEL that it is time to change that avatar picture....maybe back to George or someone!

SHIRLEY: You are splatting all over the place again today. At least you are hopefully not shi.... all over the place. I noticed yesterday that you worked. I thought you just had to do that during tax season.

JODI: How is your MIL doing after that hip surgery? Hope your son is well now too. DON'T GET SICK!!! You have much to much fun ahead for you a week from today. Are you packed yet? That time came up so quick from when you made your first plans.

Well, I am off to a lunch with my niece today so thanks for comments and hope you all enjoy the jokes.

ZONA: I really got a laugh from your Walmart one yesterday. You are right....I will always think of that when entering Walmart now.

Hi, everybody! Remember when the owls were the night owls, and everybody was up and commenting late?

Oh well. Dianne, very funny! Tina, have you seen the figures on deficit spending in recent Republican versus Democrat administrations... Shirley, WHOMP, Michael, Listeria? Would that be a Lane? Also, don't forget the words of the artist we once again address as Prince: When the elevator tries to bring you down, GO CRAZY! Punch a higher floor!

This Night Owl Also Said:

About Me

This is a place where the night owls comment. After each blog you will see "comments" click and comment as you please. The night owls invite all, so no invitation needed, just join in, however we do have some standards. Owls must be: Cordial, Respectful and Welcoming. If one does not like another, or a hurtful comment was made, please take it up privately, it is not for the nest. If a comment is inappropriate it will be deleted. If your comment is not acknowledged, it is not done on purpose, be patient, as the owls see you!
So I say to you, enjoy this blog, be peaceful dear night owls, as in life peace brings happiness and of course smiles! :O)