Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Quote of the Day

"My name is James, I work in video activism and journalism. I've been approached by CNN for an interview where I know what their angle is: they want to portray me and my friends as crazies, as non-journalists, as unprofessional and likely as homophobes, racists or bigots of some sort… Instead, I've decided to have a little fun. Instead of giving her a serious interview, I'm going to punk CNN. Abbie has been trying to seduce me to use me, in order to spin a lie about me. So, I'm going to seduce her, on camera, to use her for a video. This bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who comes on at five will get a taste of her own medicine, she'll get seduced on camera and you'll get to see the awkwardness and the aftermath. Please sit back and enjoy the show."

-- Breitbart buttboy and perennial captain of the Failboat James O'Keefe, in a script he'd planned to read on camera after he "punk'd" CNN reporter Abbie Boudreau by inviting her onto a boat and attempting to seduce her with champagne and sex toys

Needless to say, like every other scam James has pulled, this one, while relatively amusing on paper, ended in disaster. Really, you need to read this from start to finish to believe it.

26 comments:

First off, Abbie's story of working her way up isn't novel or new. I did the one-man-band thing too. Before the semi-recent influx of courtesy hires and cable eye candy, most of us did. That was how you made it in news. When news was still news, that is.

But that said, I've never met Abbie, and I don't watch CNN much anymore so I can't speak to her as woman or as a journalist. Where this story runs afoul for me is the plan to give James O'Keefe more airtime and attention in the first place. I don't blame her because this was undoubtedly the brainchild of some brain-dead higher up chasing Fox, but at some point, it's got to stop.

Just like the dumbass threatening to burn the Koran down in Florida, O'Keefe is only as relevant as networks like CNN allow him to be. Don't give him an outlet, and he won't matter. He barely did in the first place. In fact, if journalists had really researched the ACORN tapes, maybe those phony, highly edited fabrications wouldn't have ever seen the light of day.

I say we stop covering the crazy and see what happens. Let's aim high and start with Sarah Palin.

Bill Maher got lots of shit from his fans by having Andrew Breitbart on last week. Not only did Maher have him on, but he introduced Breitbart as a "journalist". So anyone who doesn't normally follow politics and just got their free-trial of HBO came away thinking that Breitbart is a legitimate conservative journalist. (He was pretty quiet and rarely got challenged by Maher when he did spew out his usually garbage.) I mention this, since there'd be no O'Keefe without Breitbart.

I like Maher a lot, toastie -- but it's true that his willingness to openly embrace people like Coulter and Breitbart without calling out their bullshit has always confused me. I get that he appreciates them as "entertainers," and that's fine, but then don't allow them to get away with pretending they're anything but.

With folk like Breitbart and Coulter, Maher doesn't have to call them out on their BS. They present themselves as the uber-douches that they are.

On the recent "Real Time," Breitbart was regurgitating the same old global warming denying s*it that has much of wealthy surburbia buying into as they drive their fat asses to soccer matches in their gas-guzzling SUVs and minivans (yes a*swipes, minivans are on a car chasis and they guzzle in addition to making you fat-s*its look like the dorks that you all are).

Breitbart looked like an ignorant a-hole as Seth McFarlane and Carl Sagan's wife threw undeniable facts at the jackass.

Indeed Breitbart is like millions of other ignoramouses on this planet, but the problem here is that Breitbart has an audience that keeps on expanding.

Anybody else get the idea that O'Keefe read "The Game" and thought he could actually pull this seduction off? I can't help but think part of him thought that through his brilliant planning and natural sexual magnetism, he was going to bed that reporter.

And, of course, if he didn't "close the deal," which the enfeebled rational part of his brain probably told him, he could claim it was all an elaborate prank. ("Yeah, she shot me down because I was...being funny and making a point...about, um, seduction in the, um, media...yeah...")

At least he still has a boat, a collection of dildos and lube, and some time freed up by the interview's cancellation.

That is the most retarded thing I ever heard of. And I mean "retarded" in every sense of the word. It sounds like the kind of plan a person with sever brain damage would come up with. The utter and complete disregard of Ms. Boudreau is just....enraging. It wasn't just her professionalism they were questioning; they were challenging her very status as a rational, cognizant, self-aware human being.

I almost choked on the bile coming up in my throat from that stupidity.

But you want to know the part that got me? The straw that broke the camel's back?

"c. avoid Marvin Gaye as too cliche"

That fucking fucktard came up with this "brilliant" plan of his (a plan more at home in a sad 80s TV movie trying to rip off John Hughes that even Jon Cryer would spit upon), and he figured Marvin "Thank Me For Getting Yo' Ass Conceived" Gaye was TOO GODDAMN CLICHE FOR IT?!?!!!

MARVIN GAYE HAS TEN TIMES THE CHARISMA YOU COULD BARELY MUSTER, YOU LITTLE DORK, AND HE'S DEAD!!!!

That's right! A 30+ year old corpse has a better chance seducing a woman than you ever will with a rohypnol head start, you fucking cuntnugget!

"c. avoid Marvin Gaye as respect him and his work too much to involve him in this or any of my asinine attempts at attention whoring, and also because I don't want him to claw out from his grave, hunt me down, and dick-slap me to death using his desiccated (and yet still larger and more functional than mine) phallus"

I confess that jerks like O'Keefe have always confused me even more than they disgust or outrage me. Even having access to a 13-page document outlining "what he was thinking" does not really help me comprehend what the fuck he was thinking. It's like he's so accustomed to pretending that anything that makes him uncomfortable is a) the other person's fault and b) somehow the reflection of some imaginary political injustice that it just made sense to him to a) think of seducing Boudreau as a way to punish her for something and b) imagine that he was punishing her for some political bias, when clearly what upsets him is she's a competent, intelligent woman with a real job and real recognition even though she's pretty.

My prediction: Sometime around June 2012 he'll end up in rehab after a suicide attempt.

Gotta give the boy & Brietbart some major props. From their perspective they are kicking serious ass. They did a great job of kneecapping Acorn, cutting off their funds and stopping them from getting any more "poor" voters on the rolls. They were major players taking out Van Jones and Sherrod the Ag Lady. (At least she was able to push back a little.)

They have been convicted of trespassing in a Senator's office, now planning on kidnapping a reporter and have been repeatedly exposed for recklessly editing tapes. Will media play the next big thing that these crooked lying propagandists come up with? I am willing to bet they will. The fellows keep finding scary black people for Drudge and Fox to scream about. Then Fox and the Washington Time’s scream the mainstream media is afraid to tell the "truth". And then Obama will immediately fire and cut funding as he can not be seen coddling to black folks.

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