When I act as if nothing has happened, I'm setting the stage for a play on words. In theory, the act of doing nothing is less an act than the stubborn refusal to stand and deliver, but not everyone is good at thinking on their feet. In practice, talk is cheap, which is just one more reason to memorize the script before the fruit flies.

When actions speak louder than words, we immediately understand that something hasn't been properly lubricated. If joints could speak, they would ask for silencing gel, or a ride to the muffler shop. If joints could sing, they wouldn't have to spend their lives gazing into the wishing well of popular culture, where everyone is a star, or will be, or was.