en-usJournal Posts by MamatoNandBJournal Posts by MamatoNandBhttp://www.cafemom.com/journals/user/MamatoNandB
30http://static-01.cafemomstatic.com/images/logo_rss.gif14448Journal Posts by MamatoNandBhttp://www.cafemom.com/journals/user/MamatoNandB
I am that is. In one of the groups I've been in for over a year and loved. I don't know why I was deleted. I can't even speak to the owner to find out. I'm blocked. I'm not mentioning any places if you know me at all you know I'm pretty much active only in that group.. or was. I don't know why I got booted out.. I miss it though :( Let me add.. I don't care WHY it happened if it was an accident, no biggie :) The idea of it being purposeful does make me sad though! I hope I am wrong!

Carah

]]>http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1288078/M_I_A
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1288078/M_I_AFri, 07 Nov 2008 22:20:13 ESTI am so saddened and sickened by the Prop 8 crap around here! In my neighborhood they're pushing passing it hard! I BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD BE WITH WHOEVER YOU LOVE.. PERIOD! I have seen all kinds of couples in love and the ones who give me the most hope were gay. I don't *do* politics but I also don't believe this is a matter of politics... it's a matter of basic RIGHTS. Ok if you know me you know I don't spout any debate crap but I had to vent! :) ]]>http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1274640/I_don_t_care_who_you_love
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1274640/I_don_t_care_who_you_loveWed, 29 Oct 2008 19:04:08 EDTBraedan now has teeth on the bottom AND top. He keeps coming up to me and surprise attack biting me!! Grrr lol! The look on his face is so funny! I don't want him becoming a public menace though! He comes up and puts his mouth on my arm and either *kisses* and says MWAH!! Or bites.. so I never know which it will be! He is so cute about it though.. but I DO have teeth marks in my arm! :( The redirection works a little bit and when I make the MWAH noise he usually kisses instead... so we're workin on it! ]]>http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1153029/No_biting_lol
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1153029/No_biting_lolSun, 10 Aug 2008 15:01:02 EDTYa know by pretty much all standards I live a *pretty conventional* minus the married to my ex still lol.. life. I however have friends of all walks of life. I feel most comfortable with my friends who are gay and transgendered. Not something that a lot of my online friends would guess. I don't live their lifestyle but they are the best friends I have. I guess maybe they're more tolerant? I was so proud when my son at 2 understood that my friends Mary and Alex love each other and that's ok.. not only ok but great :) I just want my kids to understand that I'm proud of whatever they choose to do as long as it comes from love and light. I *know* my traditional Christian teachings generally say a man and a woman is what's supposed to be. My heart tells me love in any form is beautiful.]]>http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1103341/Unconventional
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1103341/UnconventionalSun, 13 Jul 2008 12:17:35 EDTif you believe 'Yes, I love my God. He is my fountain of Life and My Savior. He Keeps me going day and night. Without Him, I am no one. But with Him, I can do everything. Christ is my strength'.

I believe this whole heartedly.. I also believe that I needed this message today :) The reason I didn't forward it is because I don't feel it's my place to make someone who isn't interested have this in their inbox. I am glad it was in mine though :D!

]]>http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1103332/_Blessings
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1103332/_BlessingsSun, 13 Jul 2008 12:11:48 EDTToday was GREAT! I got to spread some CafeMom love... and it made ME feel probably better than it did those I gave it too :) I am so happy to have found a little niche here. ESPECIALLY IK! I love you girls. I may not be rich with money...

but I am rich in my life.

While James is (hopefully) temporarily disabled the church is helping with our rent and some food. The rest of us have our health. My meds are working to keep me even keeled and less depressed. I am so happy right now. For once I"M NOT SCARED TO ACCEPT IT! It will only go away IF I LET IT. Noah's ADHD meds are working well. I have a family who thinks I am their queen. I should accept that as an honor rather than a chore. I spent a wonderful day with my kids outside in the park... Thank you God for my blessings :)

Oh, and how could I forget... I'm free of any type of drug :) That's something that's new. My outlook is that I now see that not only was I numbing the bad, I lost the good along the way. I'm letting it in :)

I am happy when James rubs my arm .. it makes me feel content, safe, and loved.. it makes me feel like if I could purr, I would.

I am happy when my boys show me their love in their own special individual ways.

When Braedan scrunches his face up and smiles just because I looked at him, when Noah hugs me and hold on for dear life at bedtime.. when he loves something I bought for him just because it was something I knew he would find special.

I am happy that I spent tonight with wonderful, kind ladies at the church and that I was able to make a teeny dent in the project that they were doing for others.

I'm happy that I threw out the book that I was reading... it made me feel depressed.

They didn't have you where I come fromNever knew the best was yet to comeLife began when I saw your faceAnd I hear your laugh like a serenade

How long do you want to be lovedIs forever enough, is forever enoughHow long do you want to be lovedIs forever enoughCause I'm never, never giving you up

I slip in bed when you're asleepTo hold you close and feel your breath on meTomorrow there'll be so much to doSo tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be lovedIs forever enough, is forever enoughHow long do you want to be lovedIs forever enoughCause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled worldIn search of all things beautifulYou can close your eyes when you're miles awayAnd hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be lovedIs forever enough, is forever enoughHow long do you want to be lovedIs forever enoughCause I'm never, never giving you up

How long do you want to be lovedIs forever enough, is forever enoughHow long do you want to be lovedIs forever enoughCause I'm never, never giving you upIs forever enoughCause I'm never, never giving you up

Ok a little background first James and I ( fiancee) have been together almost 3 years. We have had our ups and downs, mostly ups. He has been helping me raise Noah as his own since Noah was 3. He is now almost 6 and James is his "dad." He is also Braedan's bio daddy. He has shown me real love, undying love, and the way that I feel I want love to be. Lately this hasn't been so true.

James had an accident at work November 13th. He hurt his back shoveling ice at work ( he's a seafood manager and it was for his fresh fish table.) It was about 150lbs. He twisted just so and he tore muscles and knocked disks out of place. So far he's been hospitalized twice for a total of 5 weeks and had I believe 5 procedures. He is completely disabled. He cannot walk alone without a walker. He can't go more than a few feet without a wheelchair. He freakin pees in a bottle. Workman's comp is trying to deny this claim so on top of everything else.. we're broke. We have a court case as well on top of all this. Thank GOD for his church. Without them we'd be homeless. They are paying our rent for as long as he's out of work. They also help with food. I feel for the people who don't have family or churches that this happens to. Even with disability it is nearly impossible to live on wha]]>

http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/882781/This_is_how_my_life_is_going
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/882781/This_is_how_my_life_is_goingMon, 31 Mar 2008 02:25:06 EDTSo I suck at journaling.. sorry :) I just wanted to say I've had a wonderful time getting to know those of you I've gotten to know. Anyone who I haven't personally spoken to much I'd love to get to know you :) I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and will have a great upcoming week!!

Carah

]]>http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/466000/OK
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/466000/OKMon, 01 Oct 2007 16:56:21 EDTWell I found out last week I'll be having a repeat C section. I'm fine with that :) It means I get my little guy sooner than expected. I find out on the 9th when that will be. Braedan will be here soon! I'm scared because I'm not ready and I'm not totally getting hit with the knowledge he'll be here soon! I guess maybe because he's my second it's not as real? Arrghhh I'm anxious, excited, and confusing myself because I don't know why I feel this way. Ahh anyway I'll let everyone know how it goes next week :)