Flawless Farley: Lions finally dump team president

Saturday

Sep 27, 2008 at 12:01 AMSep 27, 2008 at 3:32 AM

On Wednesday, three days into their bye week, the Detroit Lions announced the firing of team president and chief executive officer Matt Millen. With that, the Lions became the first team in NFL history to register a win during their bye week.

Glen Farley

On Wednesday, three days into their bye week, the Detroit Lions announced the firing of team president and chief executive officer Matt Millen.

With that, the Lions became the first team in NFL history to register a win during their bye week.

Millen seized control of a 9-7 team in January of 2001 and (mis)managed to do the seemingly impossible by turning out seven consecutive losing seasons and compiling a record of 31-84.

Off to an 0-3 start, the prospect of an eighth straight losing season was enough to finally prompt Lions owner William Clay Ford to admit that he’d produced another Pinto when he hired Millen.

Carolina 19, Atlanta 10: A survey conducted by the Pew Research Center asked male and female couples who generally makes the decisions at home. The results? In 43 percent of couples, it’s the women who make the majority of the decisions. Couples split the decision-making in 31 percent of the cases, and in 26 percent of couples, it’s the men who call the shots. I was contacted by representatives of Pew to take part in the survey, but I told them I couldn’t until I asked my wife for permission.

Cincinnati 10, Cleveland 7: Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer currently ranks 23rd in the NFL in completion percentage, which is eight places higher than Browns QB Derek Anderson. The best toss in this game may be the referee’s pregame coin flip.

Jacksonville 28, Houston 20: Jaguars quarterback David Garrard said this week that the Jaguars will have to be on their p’s and q’s this week. Great. Just when I start to get the knack for this x’s and o’s stuff, the league changes the alphabet on me.

Denver 35, Kansas City 3: Chiefs tight end Tony Gonzalez was a true hero this offseason, rushing to the aid of 45-year-old Ken Hunter when a piece of meat got lodged in his throat while he was dining with his girlfriend at Capone’s restaurant in Huntington Beach, Calif. Gonzalez, who was having dinner with his wife, brother and baby girl at an adjacent table, administered the Heimlich maneuver to the distressed diner, preventing him from choking to death. Gonzalez would like to stop the Chiefs’ choking, but the man is merely a life-saver. He’s no miracle worker.

New Orleans 24, San Francisco 20: Three games into his career with the Saints, Randall Gay suffered a hamstring injury. I lose. I had fourth game, groin.

New York Jets 14, Arizona 10: During the course of the Jets’ loss in San Diego last Monday night, ESPN’s Ron Jaworski told us that a good NFL quarterback needed to have amnesia. If that’s the case, Brett Favre must be in the midst of a Pro Bowl season because it seems like he can’t remember the Jets’ playbook.

Green Bay 17, Tampa Bay 13: The pregame coin toss for this one should be conducted by Jason Bay.

Tennessee 23, Minnesota 17: Far be it from me to say that Brad Childress has totally mishandled his offense to this point in the season, but I get the feeling that if you suggested he needs more balance, the Vikings’ coach would get his car tires aligned.

San Diego 42, Oakland 10: One day after Raiders senior executive John Herrera verbally confronted Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News, sparking a heated verbal exchange, Oakland head coach Lance Kiffin, who had nothing to do with the incident, called the columnist to apologize. No wonder the Raiders feel they must rid themselves of Kiffin. The man has class, which has no place in the Raiders’ organization.

Buffalo 31, St. Louis 14: Some defenses have players that perform like wily veterans. The Rams’ defense has players that perform like Wile E. Coyote. They’re constantly getting blown up.

Dallas 30, Washington 16: Allow me to take this opportunity to nominate Donald Swisher Jr. for the inaugural Pacman Jones Award. Citing a press release from Pocono Mountain Regional police, the Web site CitizensVoice.com of Wilkes-Barre, Pa., reported that the 28-year-old resident of nearby Shickshanny somehow managed to get himself arrested not once, but twice, during an August day at a NASCAR race at Pocono Raceway. Following an argument with his wife, Swisher was arrested for summary charges of disorderly conduct and public drunkenness. Charged and released, he was later arrested a second time that day on misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and public drunkenness after police received another call saying he was being disorderly again.

Philadelphia 21, Chicago 10: Third-string quarterback A.J. Feeley sits atop the list of “intriguing guys with experience I’d really try to get if I were the Patriots” that Peter King posted on SI.com this past week. No thanks. In March of 2007, Feeley broke up with Heather Mitts, the U.S. women’s soccer player Zimbio tabbed the hottest athlete of the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics. The couple is reportedly back together again, but the mere fact that Feeley allowed Mitts to explore unrestricted free agency leads me to question his decision-making ability.

Pittsburgh 17, Baltimore 9 (Monday night): In the aftermath of last Sunday’s 21-10 win over the Browns, a game that saw running back Willis McGahee suffer a cut on his right eyelid and get poked in the left eye, the Ravens filed a complaint with the league office charging their opponents with eye gouging. I knew the Browns were playing like The Three Stooges. Now they’re acting like them?

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