BREAKING: Jets trying to win hearts and minds because they can’t win on field. Acquire Tebow

Unusually quiet in recent weeks, the New York Jets shattered the calm Wednesday by completing a trade for polarizing quarterback Tim Tebow. The Jets sent two picks — a fourth-rounder and sixth-rounder in 2012 — to the Denver Broncos in exchange for a seventh-round selection.

The Jets are winning the headlines again this offseason. That’s what they do best. Can’t win on the field. Now trying to call to a higher power. Trying to get Jesus on their side. That’s all well and good for when you play teams like Miami or Buffalo, but it’s been proven that Belichick owns Tebow. 45-10. Fucking Jets just doing whatever they can to stay relevant in the back pages. What a joke. Sorry Tebow, but you’re dead to me. Good luck digging wells in Polynesia or whatever this offseason. Dynasty Reign.