Monday, November 26, 2007

Golden Posts - Pleasing Men

MarriedKaren on Extremely Long Oral

I'm curious what others think of a technique I have used on my last bf and now my husband. They seem to love it. I enjoy it too but it's designed primarily for his pleasure.

This only works if you have an entire afternoon or evening with nothing planned. It's also best to plan ahead.

First, a couple of days prior, stop having sex. Second, talk about sex a lot and what your going to do to him at the specified day/time. Get him excited. Third, when the day arrives, have a couple adult videos available, a penis ring, any kind of vibrating device, and get comfortable in a private place in front of the TV. Start watching the videos and fooling around. Put the penis ring on him. Keep him hard but let the focus be on you. Intercourse is not allowed. Only hand play and oral. Let him bring you to orgasm...several times if you want. By this time an hour or so should have passed and he will be desperate for relief. Don't give it to him. Make him agree not to touch himself and to tell you if he feels close to cumming. For the next 2 hours you need to stimulate and then ignore him, off and on about every 5 minutes. You can suck him awhile and the go do a load of laundry. Vibrate his balls for a few minutes and then make a quick phone call. The adult videos will keep him hard even when your not in the room. I like to keep my man in a constant state of peak arousal for about 3 hours. It may sound like torture for him but both guys I've done this with have wanted to do it again. Fourth, turn off the video, and remove the penis ring.

Let him decide how he wants to cum. In my experience, they want you to see how much cum they have produced and opt for a bj. It should take about 30 seconds and will be extremely messy. I'm a good sport and let them cum anywhere they want. It kind of drips all over anyway. My husband say's he sleeps great after one of these sessions.

Andy on Hand job – How to

For a long time, the hand jobs or blowjobs I got from my girlfriend were just ok. I know that she loves me a lot, and it's not that she didn't want me to have the most amount of pleasure as possible, but I think she just didn't know better. On New Year's day, I couldn't sleep, so I wrote her a note because I was thinking about sex and all of the things I would like her to do. Yesterday, she gave me a hand job and it was incredible. Yes, I'll admit that I've had better orgasms from sex, but this was very very good.

Here's generally what I wrote for her... Just keep in mind that what works for me may not work for your guy.

I really like being kissed. This may sound weird coming from a guy, but I love it when my GF kisses my neck, ears, shoulders/collarbone, and even my nipples sometimes. If she can do this while giving me a hand job or when we're having sex, it basically multiplies the feelings and brings me that much closer to orgasm.

Watch your BF masturbate. Yesterday I showed my GF how I hold my penis and how fast I do it and the general motion, and she took a lot from it. Each guy knows what feels best, so learn from that.

Rhythm is really important. A lot of girls speed up and slow down because either their arm gets sore, or because that's what they like and so they do it their guys. Now, I don't mind a little bit of variation in rhythm, but if you vary things randomly, all it does it desensitize me. (I'm not sure about other guys.) So, if you want to change up the rhythm, do something like three fast strokes, then two slow strokes, and don't deviate from your formula. Another important thing is that when your guy is about to cum; don't stop right then or slow down. You have to keep going fast, or the whole feeling is lost.

The last thing that made a world of difference was that I got to lay back, relax, and my GF cuddled up beside me and let me feel up her breasts and bum and run my hands up and down her back. Being able to feel her skin and hold her body close to mine brought a real feeling of intimacy to the whole thing.

I know this is a long post, but hopefully it's helpful. Please post any further questions that I haven't answered.

?wiseman? on Hand jobs

As with every other sexual practice, there are a multitude of good and bad methods for giving a hand job. I have to differ with several of the posters who don't give it much weight over self masturbation.

A good hand job sends chills up my spine. Ladies, bring a bottle of oil to bed and warm up your hands. Slowly and gently stroke your partner's penis from the base over the tip. Try a slightly firmer grip on the up stroke and a light stroke on the way down. Keep in mind that the underside of the shaft is the most sensitive area. Using your thumb to lightly rub the underside of the shaft and head will drive your guy crazy. Alternate with one hand on the penis and the other gently stroking his scrotum and the area between his scrotum and the rectum as well as the insides of his thighs.

Don't forget to apply more oil as you go along. I think many women (at least some that I've been with) think that the man really wants you to speed up as he nears climax. In my opinion, the intensity of the orgasm is much greater if the stroking of the penis and scrotum continues to be slow, soft and only slightly firmer.

I think if you try it this way, and continue to ask your man what he likes and doesn't, a hand job, clitoral stimulation and best of all, mutual masturbation makes a great holiday from vaginal sex.

JMHO

BTW, This is also an incredible method when you're showering with your guy. Only substitute bath oils.

Brandye on Blowjobs

OK, I have done my share. I always make them progressive. Start with scrotum (kissing and licking), then up the shaft (flicking and licking) and eventually take him in. If you are sucking the head and back up to the others, some intensity seems to be lost.

Once in my mouth, I keep a light suction and do things with my tongue - round and round. I try to keep pressure of my lips right around the corona with the head in my mouth And play with the shaft.

Now, a girl trick: I always keep a finger against the perineum, just behind the scrotum. This is where the orgasm starts and I can feel that first squirt coming and press my tongue against my hard palate to keep it from triggering (usually) the gag reflex. When the ejaculation begins, I keep the skin of the shaft lightly stretched and stop all other movement except to press the perineum in rhythm with the ejaculation. Maybe end up with milking if he is not overly sensitive.

Ty-guy on Sex/Blowjobs

For me, personally, one huge killer of a bj or hj is friction. I'm not sure about other guys, but the skin on the shaft of my penis is stretchy and freely mobile even when my penis is erect. When I masturbate, I never move the skin of my hand over the skin of my penis. Instead, I use the skin of my penis to massage the underlying tissue.

Girls don't seem to do that when they're using their hands - they seem to move their hand up and down over the penile skin. Not only is this minimally stimulating*, it actually hurts when done without lube. Using this method also allows more circumferential pressure to be applied to the shaft, which is always good.

If my explanation wasn't good enough, you might understand better with an example. Extend your left index finger straight out (it will be the penis in the example). Now, with the tip of your right index finger, wiggle the skin above the left finger's middle knuckle. See how you can move the skin without moving the bone underneath? Basically, you're rubbing your left finger bone with the underside of the skin on your left finger. Meanwhile, the skin of your left finger never moves in relation to the skin on your right finger.

The skin on the penis is much more mobile than that on the knuckle, and moving it up and down (rather than moving your hand up and down over it) should really reduce the friction and increase the pleasure of using your hand.

* There is one caveat to my statement that playing with the skin of the shaft is minimally stimulating. When very close to orgasm, squeezing or stretching the small mass of skin just below the head on the ventral (scrotal) side of the penis (almost like you'd squeeze or stretch an ear lobe) can put me over the top.

LilDvl on Sex/Blowjobs

Personally, I think you have to enjoy what you are doing and not send off any negative vibes to your partner. If you show him or even tell him you are enjoying pleasuring him, all the better.

What I like to do is slowly work my way down to his penis. Sucking on his nipples and kissing/licking my way down. While kissing his chest I like positioning the penis between my breasts and gently squeezing. When reaching the pelvic area, I kiss and lick everywhere BUT his penis. Licking and gently nibbling on the inner thighs. When I see that he has had enough of the teasing I gently run the tip of my tongue from the bottom of his shaft all the way to the tip. And slowly build up the intensity. I like to insert just the very tip of the head into my mouth and little by little take more of it in. At this point I like to keep the rythym soft and slow. I like to build up the pressure by tightening my lips and my hand(s) around the shaft while still keeping a slow rythym. As my hand strokes the shaft I like running my tongue over the scrotum and softly (!) sucking on his testicles. I also like to alternate between hard and slow strokes with quick and soft strokes. I also like applying pressure to the perineum with my finger or my tongue. And I always makes sure that my lips are secured tightly around my teeth.

I think some of the key things to remember (at least from my experience it might not be for all men)are:

a) saliva, saliva, saliva..it keeps the penis well lubricated

b) alternating your speed/pressure, alternating between using just your lips and tongue, to just using your hand, to using both, it keeps him guessing and makes the experience less "boring"

c) work that tongue, always keep it moving, circle the head, make figure 8's, spell out your name...just keep it moving.

d) and last but not least, Enjoy yourself!

This is just what works for me, haven't had many complaints as of yet. I could go into more detail, but I think I've detailed enough. Every guy is different, therefor they like different things, get your partner to tell you what he likes. Don't be affraid to speak up, you'll both be happier campers!

Brandye on Prostate Massage

OK, I'll try. I generally put the pressure from the outside just behind the scrotum or in front of the anus. With a well lubricated (emphasis on well lubricated), you can insert the finger a couple inches and press forward.

This should come later in foreplay. If you two are exploring, just play around with tickling and nibbling. I have had men who particularly like tongue baths of their balls and this would be the extreme rear position for "bathing." The other great spot is the base of the penis right where the scrotum begins.

If you put the finger in, move it gently and press toward the front of the body. When ejaculation begins, get in rhythm. Lots more gets squeezed out.

OK, I have a finger and I have some experience. I do not have a prostate (thank goodness, I like it the way it is!) so men can give better answers.

The book, the Joy of Sex (two volumes; now several years old) covers all sorts of interesting techniques including insertion of things into the anus and removing them as ejaculation takes place.

Brandye on Anal Play 4 Men

OK, first clinically. All the muscles of the genital area can participate in an orgasm. In both genders the rectal sphincters are the strongest ones there and if they are involved, the orgasm is stronger. The way to get them involved is to massage them.

I do not like anal intercourse and do not do it. I love having my my anus rubbed, rimmed and, even, penetrated with a finger or - wow - tongue. My male partners seem to like similar things.

The male orgasm can first be felt, by us girls, right behind the balls where the scrotum has a ridge running up towards the anus. This is a very sensiteve area and playing with it or kissing it can get things going real quickly. Pressing at the same time, and the same rhythm, as he ejaculates will intensify his orgasm.

With this play going on, slipping onto or into his anus is a simple matter. See the reaction you get and then decide.

I love to be rimmed - tongue around the anus until I come. I have had male partners who can come this way - at least early in the evening.

Brandye on Orgasm Wearing Condom

OK. I'll accept what you say but am jaded by too often hearing lame reasons for not using a condom.

1. Put some lube inside the condom before you roll it on. One reason condoms reduce sensitivity to the man is that they reduce rubbing against the vaginal wall. The lube in the condom allows a little sliding that makes up for this.

2. Do try female condoms. They are wide enough that the penis slides within them and addresses the same issue of rubbing against the vaginal walls. Lube inside these, too.

Studies generally report, in actual use, both male and female condoms are about 85% effective. That is if 100 women used them PROPELY for a year, fifteen would become pregnant. Not bad odds but only you can decide if that is acceptable. Using spermicidal lubricant in the vagina AND in the condom will reduce this to fewer than five pregnancies. I recommend spermicide with condoms.

There have been a few studies on AIDS transmission with an interesting side finding. After sex, a few sperm are more often found in the vagina using a female condom than a regular (or male) condom. With spermicide, this should be no problem. The explanation is that with the wide mouth of the female condom, the sperm drain out and swim around the edge more easily.

The female condom looks funny and takes a brief bit of practice but men generally find them more realistic feeling - if not looking. They are expensive. The pamphlet with them makes it clear that they are single use and I will not recommend against that. A few of my patients do wash them (rinse with warm water and put them in a soak of 1:3 vinegar to water). At a bit over £1 each, not a bad idea. Look at the Reality website for a more complete discussion.

Skyclad on Oral Sex

Hey Sarduchi, my man goes absolutely wild when I hum while he's in my mouth. He even has favorite songs for me to hum. Have your girl take you as far into her mouth as she is comfortable with and then start humming (growling works too) so the vibrations are more intense. Try humming while you're going down on her too. I don't know about anyone else, but that *totally* works for me!

Anyways, I used to be really really bad at giving head when I first started doing it. I mean it seriously looked like *he* was the one doing the proverbial counting of the ceiling tiles and wondering if eggshell would be a much better color for the walls. He was such a good trooper though and I love him for it. But anyhow, the way I finally learned how to give good head is by watching him masturbate from up close. It helped me figure out exactly how he likes to be touched and what his personal preferences are as far as speed and such goes. With that knowledge, I was better able to know which parts to lick when and how. But if your girl isn't into watching you stroke yourself (and she's missing out if she's not), you could also try the follow-the-leader approach. What you do is to get your girl into position for her to give you some oral loving, then you take her finger into your mouth while she's there and have her do the same thing to your penis that you're doing to her finger. That way you can pretty much orchestrate your own blow job. You will probably want to talk to her about the idea at least a little beforehand so that she doesn't just think you have a new finger fetish though.

Now that you people have this stuff in my head, I think I'll go wake my man up in his favorite way. C-ya!

Atomic on Jacking off Your Partner

Good topic Vette!! Here's something I tried and had my boyfriend begging for more....I dunno if it was just me being me or if it just made sense at the time, but we were fooling around on his bed one morning (why is it I always feel so randy in the mornings?!!! ) but somehow I had him in my hand and I asked him to close his eyes and lie back. What I did then was dip my fingers into my own juice and I used that to give him an awesomely realistic experience!! He loved it because it was hotter than saliva and it was better lubrication and longer-lasting....it drove him wild wondering what it was and he came in a matter of minutes.....when I told him what it was he was ready for some more!!! Also a great technique is to use a string of fake pearls wrapped around his penis. They are cold and hot as they roll around and over, and they have the exact same feeling as a foreskin for the circumcised guys. Another great one is to take a piece of velvet and rub that over him, not only is it an unusually delicious feeling, but as it rubs against the ridge, it actually feels like a hundred and one little fingers carressing every inch of that sensitice spot. Another one is a piece of silk or chiffon around the penis (it also works WONDERFULLY on a woman...) and then licking "through" the material. It gives an AWESOME feeling of wetness but softness and is a guaranteed hit!!!