While doing God’s work, which was, making old beer cans into new beer cans, I was helping a co-worker, Rick operate a tension-leveler. He was shaking his head, totally pissed off, and very animated when he said the following: Rick) Can you believe this? I was just talking to X (I don’t remember who X was after […]

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While doing God’s work, which was, making old beer cans into new beer cans, I was helping a co-worker, Rick operate a tension-leveler. He was shaking his head, totally pissed off, and very animated when he said the following:

Rick) Can you believe this? I was just talking to X (I don’t remember who X was after all these years), and he didn’t know the difference between a bull and a steer!!! I can’t believe it!!! How stupid is that!!!

Me) I don’t know.

Rick) How could somebody NOT know that!!!

Me) I don’t know.

Rick) Well, you know, don’t you???

Me) I’m not sure, isn’t a steer a bull with the balls removed? (Honestly, it was only my best guess)

Rick) Yeah!!! Yeah!!! See you know!!! I can’t believe it! How could someone not know that!!! What are people going to do, if something happens??? How are they going eat???

Me) Yeah, I don’t know.

Rick) When you live in the city, you never learn this stuff!!! How can anybody survive??? I bet he doesn’t even know what the difference between a heifer and a cow!!!

Me) Well, I’m not sure that I even know that one (I didn’t even have a guess of any kind for that one)

Rick) Are you serious??? You really don’t know!!!

Me) Yeah, I really don’t know.

Rick) Serious???

Me) Yeah.

Rick) Well, all female cows are heifers until they get pregnant!!! Then they start making milk and then they are cows!!! If they stop making milk, you have to get them pregnant again!!!

Me) Oh, yeah I didn’t know that.

Rick) You really didn’t know that???

Me) No, I’m serious, no I didn’t know that.

Rick) Your kidding!!!

Me) No……No, the only thing they ever told us like that was, that there is a statistic out there that claimed that “20% of all kids have had sex with an animal in their lives. Most of the time it is farm kids!” In fact, anytime I see five of you guys standing around together, I’m pretty sure one of you has fucked an animal-that’s just the math! You are what we call a statistic.”

I was laughing my ass off and Rick was furious.

Pissed!!!

This is the history of that comment:

When we were seniors at Arvada, Chris announced to the group of us, that he had read somewhere that “20% of kids have had sex with an animal and claimed that it occurred more often with farm kids as part of their curiosity and development.” When we asked him where he was reading this, he said he read it in a magazine, he thought it was possibly in “People” or “US.” We told him, that can’t be the right number, but he was dead serious that he had read it. There’s no way either magazine is going to say that. Up until that moment, I had never given inter-species erotica much thought. I knew that this number was way too high, but it was interesting that somebody 1.) would even have sex with an animal 2.) admit to it 3.) study it 4.) publish it as a fact. Up until that time, I had never considered that anyone would have sex with an animal. From that point on, our group was calling everyone a “Statistic.” It would be like, “See that guy over there? I bet he is a statistic!”

At this point, I thought Rick was going to hemorrhage, he was so pissed! Me, very proud of my self. It was at this point when Tynr walked by and asked what was wrong with Rick. I told him and now Tyrn was laughing his ass off. Tyrn was still laughing when he entered the Electricians department. He said, “You should have heard what so an so told Rick……At that point, everybody was pissed at me because most of these electricians had come from farms as well. Tyrn came back and told me what happened. Boy was I pleased!!!!