Flying, controlling the weather, and turning invisible are officially out. A new blog gives us the goods on the true superpowers of the future.

Ever thought about having gamma-ray vision? The power of in-flight flight (pictured)? An immunity to the thirteenth bullet? Well, it's time to explore the possibilities of these alternate abilities — the more useless side of superpowers, if you will. Superuseless Superpowers is paving the way through this ironic discussion, inventing talents such as psychic amnesia:

This superuseless superhero foresees the future while instantly forgetting anything he has just foreseen. Known in some circles as Untotal Recall.

The brains behind Superuseless Superpowers are an imaginative bunch. Maybe you'll never be able to move objects with your mind, but don't lose hope! You might one day be able to achieve 99% opacity.