Having lain dormant for decades, a terrible creature is about to awaken and threaten the peace of Tokyo city once more. Mutated to an extraordinary size by vast quantities of lager and gin and possessing unfathomable destructive power, Genghis Kong has already been sighted within the Tokyo Bay area. This is his story...

Friday, 12 September 2008

Genghis Kong vs. Japanese TV Game Shows

I saw a strange game show on Japanese TV last night.Now, before I go any further, I know exactly what you are all thinking:

Naked women competing to see who can pluck the most fish out of a swimming pool filled with jelly using only their genitals; or

Naked men competing to see who can be shot in face with the most fish without falling from a greasy pole into a swimming pool filled with fish jelly

or something along those lines, but what I saw last night was in fact far more surreal, albeit in a more subtle way. The game show I saw featured contestants (I couldn't tell whether they were celebrities or not) trying to correctly identify different varieties of coal.

Coal.

Yes, coal. And then afterwards, they had to guess which was the most acidic of these coals. So, it turns out that we have all been grossly misinformed about Japanese TV game shows - they're not hyper-violent, erotic or wacky.

They're coal.

But I'll keep watching late night game shows, and I'll let you know if anything better comes up.

Genghis Kong is in Japan!

That's right folks: I'm finally here. Indeed, I've been here for over 2 days and I can honestly say that it's a fantastic country full of wonderful people. Honestly. I take back everything I ever said against the glorious nation of Japan and it's occupants. Everyword. Except that they're crazy, messed-up peoplewho I will never understand and who will never understand me. And they've got funny teeth too (apart from the hot ones).

But, sadly, this update is being cut short; I am about to go out to Shibuya for drinking and who knows what else. Photos and a "hilarious" 80s pop music reference will hopefully follow shortly (tomorrow maybe)