With Hugh Jackman rumored to be the frontrunner for the role of Captain Blackbeard in Pan, the gritty origin story of Peter Pan, after Javier Bardem passed it up, it’s time for Warner Bros. and director Joe Wright to cast the story’s biggest characters, the titular boy who never grows up and his eventual nemesis Captain Hook. According to a Deadline exclusive, the top choice for Captain Hook is 29-year old Garrett Hedlund, who already sometimes kind of looks like a dashing pirate actor, so it’s a pretty great fit.

All I need to do is add a foppish pirate’s hat and a shiny new hand, and VOILA!

I know, I can’t believe how awesome my Photoshop skills are either. As for Peter Pan, WB’s choices are still unknown but I’m really hoping that it’s Justin Bieber now.

That’s really sad because if you’re going for a gritty reboot the most natural thing in the world is to give him a pneumatic bolt gun for a hand and call him Captain Bolt Gun. Which would scare children more, a hook or a bolt gun? I think we have a responsibility to find out.