A doctor walks into an exam room and finds his patient seated on the exam table, dressed in a gown, with a banana in his left ear, a carrot stuck like a pencil behind his right ear, and applesauce smeared all over his face. The patient has a distressed expression. "Doctor, can you tell what is wrong with me?" he asks anxiously.

"Sir, it's very simple," answers the doctor. "You are not eating properly."

I've been Boo'd... right off the stage!

Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!

"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

Three brothers in Ireland used to frequent a local pub. Then one moved to America and another to Australia. The lone brother left still went to the pub, but now he ordered three beers, taking a sip from each in turn. The patrons watched him go through this ritual for some time before one of them asked why. "One's for my brother in America, one for my brother in Australia and one for me," he replied.

After this explanation, the fellow didn't show up at the pub for a month. Then he appeared again and ordered two beers. He drank from one, then the other. One of the patrons went over and extended his condolences for the man's bereavement. "What bereavement?" the chap asked.

"Well, the loss of one of your brothers," the patron said.

"My brothers are alive," the fellow corrected. He held up one glass. "This is for my brother in America." He held up the other. "This is for my brother in Australia. And I quit drinking."

If each pet we love takes a part of our heart and replaces it with a part of theirs, my heart is a very strange collection of pieces, but I wouldn't have it any other way

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go, and then do it. --Ann Landers

A little girl was an only child, and her daddy was at war. One day she approached her mother and said that she would like a little sibling. Her mother said that would be nice, but they would have to wait until her daddy got home. To which the little girl replied "We could surprise him!"

If each pet we love takes a part of our heart and replaces it with a part of theirs, my heart is a very strange collection of pieces, but I wouldn't have it any other way

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go, and then do it. --Ann Landers

Polar Vortex Songs

I saw these on Twitter (#polarvortexsongs) and I can't stop laughing! Apparently this topic was suggested by Jimmy Fallon. You take a song and change the words slightly to make it fit the winter theme. So if you see me walking down the street, giggling helplessly to myself, you'll know I'm thinking about these and trying to stay warm!

A few examples ... Brrr'd lines (Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke)
Negative 867-5309
Can You Feel Your Face Tonight
Don't Go Taking My Scarf
Wake Me Up Before You Snowplow
We Didn't Salt the Sidewalk (We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel)
It's Too Cold for That (No Igloo) [I Can't Go for That / No Can Do - Hall and Oates]
All You Need Is Glove
Hey, I just met you / And this is crazy / My ears are numb now / So thaw me maybe
Baby, It's $*&$ Cold Outside

I've been Boo'd... right off the stage!

Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!

"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas