Random Rantings and Ravings of Rudeness Riddled with Rapid Ridiculousness

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I Can See You Die a Little More Inside

(If you really don’t want to read all of this, you should skip to the last paragraph.)

Have you ever been so tired that you couldn’t even think? All day during work today I kept getting that glassy eyed look you get when you’ve been driving straight at the same speed down the interstate for an extended period of time. Productive work day huh? Actually I got a surprising amount of stuff done all things considered.

I’ve been looking into getting a new bike lately, my old one has something wrong with it’s rear derailleur. My old bike is also a road bike (the tires are about an ¼” wide). I’ve always wanteda mountain bike and I think I may finally get one. I’m looking at two brands in particular, Specialized and Fuji. The Fuji that I’m looking at is called the ‘Thriller’ and there are two Specialized bikes that I’m looking at; one is called the rockhopper and the other one slipped my mind right now. I would look it up, but I can’t get online.

There’s a big storm outside right now. There are power lines down on the main street by my house and we have no power right now. Thank God for laptops huh? The storm was amazing though, the way it came in. I was upstairs dishing up some ice cream and all of the sudden I just heard this whooshing sound. The downpour started and the wind howled. The news early this evening said that the winds would be destructive winds up to 80 mph. They pulled off the destructive part pretty well with the power lines. I won’t be surprised to see a few trees down tomorrow either.

I don’t think I’ve ever talked about religion in this blog, I usually try to steer clear of a lot of it. Not because I don’t have my own opinions and views but because I get so much of it at home with my dad being a pastor that when it comes time to talk about it anywhere else I’m all ‘religioned’ out. But when I opened our garage door to look outside at the storm the first thing that came to mind was ‘way to go God. That’s awesome.’ I know some people are scared of storms like that and even my mom was starting to get worried through some of it, but all I could think of was Romans 8:28 (off the top of my head) All things work to the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose. The worst God could do would end up turning out good in some way. Put a tree through my house, not only would it make my summer more interesting in various ways but it would somehow work out for good. Now you see why that’s my favorite Bible passage?

I know to make a blog post interesting it’s more understandable if you stick to one topic. But I’ve never been very good at that. When I write things tend to just weasel their way into my head and I can’ t just not write about them. That would drive me insane just leaving that all sit up there. There’s only a limited amount of space to be dealt out. My ideas are like tenants in the hotel of my brain. They stay for a night and then take off. (The vacant sign’s bulbs need replacement after so much use.)

My last topic that I wanted to bring up though is caring. What if you care about someone, but you don’t want to care about them? What do you do then? Go ahead, try it, think of someone you care about a lot, that’s step one. Now just try and imagine not caring about them at all anymore. Just think about not calling, not emailing, not contacting this person at all. Here’s the thing though, you can’t care. Sure, most people are strong enough that they can not keep in contact with someone for a little while, but does the care disappear? No. You still wonder how that person is doing, what they’re up to, if their life is going well for them. You still care. So what is there to do about this? Should anything be done?

What I really want to know though is, is it bad to not want to care? (Read this next one carefully). Is it good to NOT be able to NOT care? Or is that just weakness? Of course you can look at it both ways. You can come up with Pros and Cons for either side. But when it comes down to it; in the big picture, is indifference to your own feelings and emotions, to others feelings and emotions a good thing?