Union Autonomy
Two weeks ago the Government issued a "consultative document" on the Financing of Student
Unions which, if carried out, is bound to have
far reaching effects on the structure of ICU and
all others like it.
GOVERNMENT GREEN PAPER
The main points are as follows:—
Present Arrangements
Responsibility for approving union constitutions belongs with the university or college authorities.
The unions are supported in the following ways:
(i) accommodation and services provided by the
institution; (ii) subsidy provided by the institution: (iii) membership subscriptions from local
education authorities; (iv) profits from their own
activities, trading, social activities and investments.
Payment of Union Subscriptions
Majority of full time students receive mandatory awards, part of which is paid to the union
by the LEA.
There is considerable variation in the amount
of union subscriptions. It is estimated that the
annual expenditure on student unions is about
£3 million.
Defects in the Present System
The main defects in the present system are
as follows:
(i) Local authorities have very little control
over the level of subscription.
(ii) Since subscription increases are paid by
the local authorities the system does not encourage careful inspection of union money.
(iii) At the moment some unions spend compulsorily obtained money on activities more
suited to voluntary contribution.
(iv) Part-time students may prefer not to join
union.
Possible Courses of Action
(i) A Registrar to provide some form of control
over union operation.
(ii) Make union membership voluntary.
(iii) Make unions compete for money with
other university departments.
Proposed New System
(i) All students are automatically members
of the union of that institution without paying
any subscription but they may still use union
facilities.
(ii) Individual clubs are financed by increased
subscriptions from members.
(iii) Unions would be financed by college
authorities.
UNION MEETING
ICU's immediate reaction to this was to call
an emergency union meeting which succeeded
in filling the Great Hall. At this, a motion was
discussed condemning government interference
in union affairs and calling for a National Day
of Action eventually to be followed by a National
one-day closure of all colleges in Great Britain.
This was passed by an overwhelming majority
but not before various amendments had been
attached.
The last paragraph was amended,

making a one-day closure possible without the
support of the college authorities. Two new paragraphs were added, making a total of 10, asking
for the support of the trade unions and the
parliamentary Liberal and Labour parties. A
surprise motion, passed by a large majority
cancelled Morphy Day. The proposer suggested
that it was inconsistent for students who wanted
to show that they were responsible adults to disrupt traffic and generally behave in an anti-social
manner.
UNION FLEXIBILITY
It is interesting how inflexible the union constitution appears to be when dealing with almost
anything that crops up at a meeting. For example,
the final note on the motion. This could not
actually be voted on until someone had formally
opposed the motion. Does this suggest a positive indication of unanimous membership is impossible?
CORRECTIONS
So much for the general background but
what does it all mean? Before that, however,
the straightforward inaccuracies can be dealt
with:—
(i) The survey supported by NUS was in fact
conducted with the hope of bringing polytechnic
unions up to the level of university unions. This
has not, in fact, been published and so the
government is using it out of context.
(ii) It is claimed that neither the Government
nor the UGC has any control over union subs.
Apart from being untrue it implies that union
management is so irresponsible as to raise the
fees for no reason. In fact, people standing for
official union positions must show themselves
to be highly responsible, otherwise they just won't
get elected.
(iii) The paper says that colleges are not strict
enough in their vetting of student money. Again
untrue, as the union has to submit detailed information to get grant increases.
(iv) Students often vote money to causes unrelated to the university, e.g., political movements. This appears to have substance as it
does happen. However the money used for
these payments is that collected as profit from
union activities and it is quite justifiable, if a
majority agree, that this money may be used
for anything. In the case of Sussex, who tried
using public money for an ultra-vires payment
further legislation is unnecessary as this is already an unconstitutional Act by the union.
SOLUTION
The suggested "solution" to these problems
involves removal of compulsory subs, to unions,
giving the extra money to the student.
This
would remove a college union's ability to speak
on behalf of students of that University. Money
being allocated by the college to the union would

No. 305

make funds dependent on good relations with
the college, which is by no means certain. The
third part of the proposals involves removal of
the union subsidies to clubs and societies. This
would be immediately disastrous to those with
high overheads.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
So far, only facts have been dealt with, but
some speculation on what the Government is
thinking about might be interesting. Early this
year, JUS was involved in lengthy discussions
with HMG about the possibility of increasing
grants. Nothing was then decided; at the time of
NUS conference in April there were no proposals to discuss. Surprisingly enough (?) the
Government said what they were prepared to give
only two weeks after this, and consequently, very
little discussion occurred. In the light of this
it seems odd that these ideas on Student Unions
should be published only weeks before the next
NUS conference where they are bound to be
very fully discussed. There are various conclusions to be drawn from this. Possibly they are
trying to see how much they can effect without
producing undue criticism. Alternatively they
might be hoping for a great fuss about the idea
of voluntary membership, with NUS passing
various motions about it. They will then offer
to negotiate on the proposed system eventually
giving way to NUS demands.
Thus, we are
thereafter likely to have union subsidised clubs
and societies, but will find registration necessary.
The Registrar's powers could be so wide-ranging
that union self-government could be altered or
destroyed.
PLAN OF ACTION
ICU's reply to this is thus to totally reject
the plans and to plan a long-term campaign
against them. Yesterday there was a march of all
USK colleges to the DES to protest — I was
assured that given good weather, about 2000
from USK were expected.
Of all recent legislation this is the most likely
to affect individual students. It is not something
which will gradually occur, it is planned to make
the changes next Autumn. The most important
point to remember is that no actual division in
Parliament is necessary for all this to become
law. The proposals will be presented and unless
someone wishes to discuss it, nothing can be
done to stop them. Thus our only hope is to get
enough people in the country as a whole interested so that discussion occurs. More than
moral support is called fori

The
Impossible
takes a
little longer

And so the intrepid band of Felix reporters, including no less a personage than the editor
himself, set out to obtain, by fair means or foul,
photographs of the Miss World contestants.
A phone call to the Albert Hall gave us the
necessary information — the organisers, who
were the people to see about press tickets, could
be found at the girls' hotel in Grosvenor Square.
"They must be expecting trouble — they've
got the army guarding the door."
Leaving the American Embassy we went up to
the first floor of the hotel via the ultra-modern
lift, complete with piped music.
"Sorry dears, they've all left," was the first line
of defence, but the fearless reporters were not
to be stopped so easily. However, "Superman"
managed to persuade us that perhaps we didn't
really want those pictures after all. Downstairs
again and another phone call to the Albert Hall:
"Sorry, we can't help you."
The only course of action remaining was to
sit and wait for the girls to come out. The
camera was set up at the back door where we
caught our first glimpse of Miss Malta. (It is
only a small island, not many people); meanwhile several coaches pulled up outside the
front door. We arrived there just in time to see
it disappear round the back, but managed to get
some very good pictures of the coaches.
Back to the Albert Hall in record time (the
policeman blinked, so we didn't get caught for
speeding) to find several rows of police and
Women's Lib. demonstrators between us and
the contestants.

Page 2

FELIX

T H E
One of the problems of
writing anything about a
group as popular as the
Who is that almost everything has been said about
them already. In between
the times that the group
releases something new,
writers will scurry around
searching for some facet
of their music that has not
been brought to light. It
would be nice to say that
everything that the group
did when they appeared at
the Rainbow Theatre was
completely new and to devote a whole paragraph to
an ambitious new opera
by Pete Townsend, perhaps, or at least something
that hasn't yet been committed
to
record. Of
course this was not the
case and probably never
will be. Few groups would
dare open their show with
a song they first did seven
years ago, but the Who did
with "I Can't Explain" and
got away with it. Nothing
they did was younger than
the "Who's Next" album
and I loved it.
The Rainbow Theatre,
what used to be the Finsbury Park Astoria, is London's newest and most
ambitious rock venue. It
has been heralded as the
British successor to the
now
defunct
Fillmore
Theatres in the States, and
is the brainchild of John
Morris, who was partly responsible for the (mis)
management of the Woodstock Festival and the Fillmores.
The resident lightshow,
Joe's Lights, has moved to

W H O

England after working at
Fillmore East in New
York. The theatre is certainly ideal for presenting
groups,
holding
3,000
people, and a lot has been
spent on alterations, such
as raising the stage, to enhance the audiences enjoyment. The view from even
the cheapest seats is perfect and uninterrupted, unlike the Albert Hall where
from some seats you can't
see a thing. I hope that the
spiralling prices of top
groups do not cause the
same fate to befall the
Rainbow as happened to
the Fillmores. The only
criticism to come to light
so far is that the beer prices are astronomical, but
then you can't have everything.
What better way to open
the Rainbow could there
be than with the Who? The
group played there with
Quiver on November 4th,
5th and 6th, and all 9,000
tickets for the three concerts had sold out within
five hours.
According to reliable
sources (the group themselves) the Thursday night
concert was not particularly successful, but on Friday the Who went down a
storm. Whether they told
Saturday's audience the
same as they told us is a
matter of conjecture.
Quiver opened the show
although they were preceded by a bevy of can-can
dancing girls who received
warm applause as well as
many cries of "Get em'
off". The group had improved greatly since I last
saw them and now have a
flawless P.A. system. The
sound is quite country influenced and similarities to
the Grateful Dead are unmistakeable, particularly
during the fluent periods
of jamming featuring the
guitars of Tim Renwick
and Cal Batchelor. The
group did not get the re-

CHRISTMAS

EDITION

The next edition of FELIX will be the Super Bumper
Christmas issue, complete with Free Gift. It will be
published on 9th December. All copy for this issue
should reach the editor by 2nd December at the latest.

ception they deserved but
this lack of appreciation,
was I suppose, predictable from an audience that
came to see The Who.
They took the stage in predictable fashion, joining
the can-can dancers, and
started off at such a fantastic pace that it seemed
impossible that they could
keep it up for two hours.
"I Can't Explain", "Substitute", "Sumertime Blues",
"My Wife", "BabaO'Riley",
"Bargain", "Behind Blue
Eyes", a sizeable chunk
from "Tommy", "Won't
Get Fooled Again" and
"My Generation" followed
each other in rapid succession: It seems incredible
that Townsend's opera,
played continually for two
years, could still bring
such an ecstatic reaction
from the audience, unless
every one of them, like me,
had not seen the group before.
As "My Generation"
drew to a close a screen
went up behind the group
and blinding spotlights
shone on the audience—
their generation I had
never thought of the group
before as an environmental one like say, Pink
Floyd, but their light show,
working in conjunction
with Joe's Lights, was
beautifully sympathetic to
the music. And if you
thought that Keith Moon
on drums was just a showman and a jester, I can
now announce that he'll
wipe the floor with your
Ginger Bakers and your
Carl Palmers any day.
Everyone knows how good
Pete Townsend is as a
guitarist so I needn't mention that; he was however
wearing a silver boiler suit
and did not smash his guitar. There's some news for
you!
As a conclusion I shall
say that the Who are definitely the best live band in
the world but something
new would have been appreciated, otherwise journalists will be losing their
jobs.

Do you want to read books
by:Ernest Hemingway
James y^ldridge
Marghanita l_aski

Alan Qrury

People Required
People are required for obtaining advertisements
for FELIX. This is a very rewarding job involving meeting and dealing with people with the chance to show
off your business acumen (or lack of it!) in a harmless
way. A must for all future graduates. All those interested
please contact J . B. Stares, Math II or Linstead 333.

Margery ^llingham
Vladimir Nabokov
George

gliot

Get them from the

Haldane Library
Level 2, Library Block
Open Mon. to Fri., 10 — 5.30

Thursday, November 18, 1971

McLOOGE Expounds!
Presuming that the rest
of this paper is crammed
with news, views and
events associated with the
Government's Green Paper
(AND SO IT SHOULD BE!)
what else has been going
on?
Diversification — Your 5
reps at the Board of Studies meeting presented the
paper "Review" of First
Degree Courses at l.C.
Unfortunately the chairman (i.e. the Rector)
seemed to want to settle
the matter before any discussion took place. "I
think we can agree that
the Academic Director
needs to be appointed as
soon as possible, however
I feel that the former recommendation passed (to
approve I.C.U. policy in
diversification as college
policy) is a matter that
can't be rushed and needs
a lot of thinking about"—
thus despite a general
complete agreement endorsement of the "spirit
and principles" of our submission
and
repeated
Union please for a decision, the Rector managed
to finish the discussion off:
"I think we can use the
minutes of the meeting as
a true record of our feelings". Thus it's back to the
old slog of trying to convince some departments in
the college that not every
one of their students wants
to be a super specialist.
Discipline — approximately four years ago the
college and union got together to start working out

a suitable college code of
discipline. On the morning
the green paper was published the Rector and I finally agreed on the last
draft. Thus now the Rector
has to submit it to the
Studies and Board of
Board of Governors for approval and I have to submit it to Union Council and
a U.G.M. I believe it's a
fair document but it's also
a very important one—thus
come to the U.G.M. (18th
November, Great Hall 1.00
p.m.) and scrutinise it
closely (copies should be
available in the Union
O.S.S. (Organisation for
Office beforehand).
Community
Action —
Social Service) and Community Action have got together within IC and by the
time you have read this,
we will have presented to
Union Council a draft of
their new constitution for
approval. They will become a major sub-committee of the Union (like External Affairs, Rag Committee) and receive finance direct from the Union. This merger fulfils 3
aims (1) To give Community Action its rightful important place within the
Union; (2) to place it on
a more reliable financial
footing; (3) to bring together the somewhat politically oriented Community Action people (who
basically believe the cause
of the ailment should be
removed (eg bad landlords etc.) and purely Soc
ial Service people (who
keep to the ailment itself.)

UNIVERSITY

A big membership drive
will probably start after
Christmas and close liaison will be maintained with
External and Academic Affairs and the Rag. If you
are interested now, contact
Damion Cummins (Union
floor rep c/o Union Office
and Met P.G.) or Brian
Harris (Geophysics P.G.).
Vacation Training—Following the meeting of this
committee, it was decided
that a detailed analysis
should be done within
College to see if the Vacation Training Office performs a function that is
wanted (a lot of people get
jobs through Depts. or
can't work for 8 or so
weeks or would rather take
manual better paid work).
Pay rates have risen well
this last year—over 55 per
cent of the jobs paid over
the Grant fare (and letters
are being sent to all those
who didn't bother to point
out this fact to them). A
lot of the work done by the
Vac. Training Board is based on very important feedback—so if you want Vac.
Training this Summer and
haven't handed back your
Employee's form, please
do so as soon as possible.
Also apply early for jobs—
there are a lot now in the
office that if not filled soon
may be withdrawn. Remember—if you think we
are not doing our job or if
you've got any suggestions—don't hesitate to
come into the Union Office
—the more the merrier.
AND LET'S SMASH THIS
GREEN PAPER!

CHALLENGE

Is I.C. E d u c a t e d ?
Drring Drring, Drring
Drring,
"Good morning, Union
Office"—
Armitage answered the
phone.
"Oh!" he ejaculated.
"Perhaps you had better
speak to someone higher
up."
"Dave, would you like to
speak to someone on the
phone?"
"No" replied the weary
NUS card stamper. "Someone from the Granada TV"
Armitage added. "Certainly!" the now not so recalcitrant secretary shouted as
she leapt for the phone.
Perhaps that isn't exactly the way things happen
when Granada Television
decided that IC had been
too long off the screen but
it is characteristic of the
way things have developed.
Last Thursday 4th November IC Union Office was
thronged with IQ's of
180+ (MENSA watch out)

all fighting for the privilege
of making IC an even more
unpopular place to come
to. A quick run through 40
University Challenge questions left no doubt in our
minds—we ought to withdraw immediately! But wily
Dave (pinball) Amos having a quick eye for an easy
profit said "No—we keep
in 'cos the Union gets a
hundred quid".
So sometime in the future Simon Albault, Paul
McCartney, Z. Kronberge,
M. Corney, P. Wardle get
a free trip to Manchester,
the home of Granada Television. It is not all hard
work either, the whole
team, besides getting all
their travel and ancillary
costs reimbursed, also get
a free booze-up and hotel
for the night.
Hope and pray you don't
meet someone like New
College, Oxford, in the first
round, otherwise goodbye
fame and fortune, IC.
The team at the moment

goes into strict training, no
sex. drink, or academic
work for the next fortnight.
Each member of the team
has been chosen for his
knowledge of a specific
subject and they are all
training accordingly. One
member of the team is
locked in Queen's Tower,
where he is studying areonautics by dropping large
lumps of masonry on passing students, another is
living in a Mooney kitchen observing flora and
fauna while another is at
Maria Assumpta watching
strange habits. The remainder of the team is
avidly watching the past
230 programmes of University Challenge somewhere in an isolated TV
studio.
What do we get out of
it??—£100 an appearance
(i.e. £100 only) and free
coach to Manchester.
Don't miss them when
they are on—see them
crush Pamper Grassgroin!

Thursday, November 18, 1971

EDITORIAL
A new leader is born and may we all rejoice!! For
the new leader was not just simply born but grew in
the style of all true leaders.
It all began with an emergency drive for economy.
Save, save and hang the cost. I speak, of course, of our
good friend Mrs. T.
Her true rise to power began, when she was appointed to lead the Department of Education and Science.
She only practised her economy drive in a small way
at first with her 'every family should keep a cow in their
back garden' campaign, and she was most unjustly
accused of penny-pinching. Shocked by these accusations, power rushed to her head and she began to
produce her master plan to save not pennies, but milIons of pounds. Indeed the whole annual higher education bill.
The plan began with a seemingly harmless step. A
practice adopted by all the more successful business
establishments which she applied to student unions.
Giving away every facility you have, was the obvious
road to success for any business and as expected
student unions went broke and passed away quite
quickly and quietly. But wait; next came the masterly
stroke. Once student unions were removed students
don't have any entertainment and they can't fight any
further legislation. It is obvious now that as they aren't
distracted from their work they can do their degree in
two years. A brilliant idea and as nobody grumbled
(how could they without a union) two year degrees
become the thing to do.
Still, all good leaders have their Waterloo. As planned the students that haven't committed suicide have
had to leave college on mental grounds and so we have
saved the cost of all the silly universities, haven't we?
Also we've made all that money from selling the buildings so what's wrong? Could Mrs. T. have forgotten
that she has also a responsibility to educate people as
well as watching her budget. Complete removal from
the Department of Education and Science is the only
reward for this woman. If every student plays his part
and does everything in his power to fight this stupid
green paper, with luck she may get it.

FELIX

LETTERS
MORPHY DAY

Dear Sir,
Hallelujah! At last! etcetera.
Morphy Day was cancelled in all but name by the
Union Meeting on the 3th
November. Unfortunately
this was done only as a
P.R. action, we students
being told that the cancelation was in reality just
a postponement, which (in
our opinion) is a shame.
We would really like to see
the students here waking
up to their responsibilities;
not continually pursuing
such actively destructive,
pointless and futile exercises as Morphy Day.
Let's face it, Morphy
Day and its contemporaries might do more than totally alienate public opinion. It might even be a
factor in dear Maggie's decision itself. Perhaps our
favourite government now
feels that this green paper
could now drift through
the parliamentary motions
and become law, simply
because the paper doesn't
matter to the "average
man".
"Who cares?
Bloody
hooligans anyway". He
might say.
The only answer we at
I.C. could come up with for
sure is that we care. And
This issue of Felix, the newspaper of Imperial College Union,
over this particular issue
was edited by Dave Sugden, aided and abetted by Tony Upton,
Oily 'Credits' Dowson, Dave Gribble, Andrew Melvin, Colette we do. With respect, its
Robertson, Ross McBeath and Bernard Williams. Features: Stephen about time!! Students here
Amor and Katy King . . . The sports editor is Chris Potter and
have been going through a
the reviews were by John Bryan, Stephen Amor and Bob Carter
period of extreme immatur. . . Malcolm Bailey is the photographic editor assisted by Colin
McCall, Steve Heap and Stuart Campbell . . . Typing by Jane ity; it's about time we
Cornish. The advertising agents are University Press RepresentaGREW UP. That doesn't
tives, Grand Buildings, Trafalgar Square, London WC2. Felix is
mean we should all be
printed by F. Bailey & Son Ltd., Dursley, Gloucestershire, and is good boys and work, work,
published by the editor on behalf of I.C.U. Publications Board,
London SW7 2BB, (01) 589 2963, Int. 2881. Business and circula- work. What we should do
is try to lose our apathy,
tion is organised by your own John 'Emergency' Stares . . .
(Copyright Felix 1971)
try to become involved as
much as possible, try not
Films. Processing etc. at to waste our valuable nonremarkable costs. P. Ste work time. We owe it to
venson, Tizard 613.
ourselves, our college and
Garrard SP25 Mark II with our society to do and think
AT66.
Complete
with something
constructive.
Plinth and built-in pre-am- Anything.
plifier. 2—3 years old. £15
o.n.o. T. Royds, EE2.
SNOOPY' DOGS FOR
Sincerely,
Felix Small ads. are free
SALE
Ian Stock
and successful! For inserPhil Brading
tion in coming issue leave
copy in the Felix letter Sir,
racks.
I reject the implication
Lifts
offered.
Frequent published in the last edijourneys made to Mid- tion of Felicity, that I had
Fur Fabric, Washable, lands (Birmingham) and not fully considered the efsuitable gift for young South (Portsmouth). John fects of the inevitable conchildren, Chelsea mascot B. Stares, Linstead 333.
version of the City of West(10p extra for scarf), or Wanted
Garrard SP25 minster to Natural Gas, as
ornament, etc.
(preferably Mark III), or a lack of confidence in my
£2.35p
similar. John B. Stares. ability to act as a Repre20in. long, 10in. high.
Linstead 333.
Colours: Red body, white Oxford or Reading. Lifts
ears and nose. Blue body, wanted most weekends — Triumph Vitesse (see last
white ears and nose. Other Share petrol costs. L. Kay issue). Now reduced from
colours.
Nicholson, Physics 3.
£215 to £175. Allen Larsen
ALSO
Wanted. Students to help c/o Union Bar.
Ties (Assorted Colours)
in small test. 10 minutes Manchester? Ride wanted
60p work earns you 30p. Con- most weekends. G. PropKipper Ties (Assorted Col- tact M. Garneau, Electri- per CCA, 48 Princes Garours)
75p cal, Rm 1108, Int. 3152. No- dens.
All washable and lined.
thing mysterious — very Led Zeppelin. Tickets for
straightforward.
November 20th. Sell to first
Contact:
Fast Fingers? Lead Guitar- reasonable offer. Chris
Mrs. Johnson,
ist required. Must be heav- Castell, c/o ME letter
Room G.9,
ily inclined, see A. C. At- rack.
Botany Department.
kinson, EEI.
Lift to College from Swiss
(Int. Ext. 2272).
Found. Nylon Ski-Jacket Cottage most days. Alan,
for samples.
enquire at Bar (Union?).
Int. Tel. 3823.

Small
Ads

sentative of the Union, and
to implement the decisions
of the Imperial College
Union Council, at the last
meeting of which a motion
was passed calling for the
Retention and Preservation of the Gas Street
lighting in Prince Consort
Road.
I utterly reject these implications as a vile slur on
on my character and position; I consider that my
honour has been questioned, leaving me little alternative but to call you out.
Sir, I ask you to settle
this issue in the accustomed, but generally disused, fashion. I refer,
should you remain in
doubt, to the ancient
science of duelling.
Naturally I leave the
choice of venue and weapons to yourself: I hope
and trust that this whole
business will be settled
with the utmost speed.

Page 3
are unemployed or living
on starvation wages? Does
he not realise the plight of
the Old Age pensioners?
Does he not realise that
these people do not have
enough money to live on,
yet alone bank? These
people are not concerned
about the name of a bank.
I suggest, Harry, you have
our priorities wrong.
Ron Parker,
Messenger.

A LOAD OF OLD
RUBBISH
Dear Sir,
Although you must surely have been inundated
with letters on this subject,
I feel obliged, nevertheless, to express my views
on this, perhaps the most
important question of the
century. I refer of course
to the present controversy
over plastic milk bottles.
Much has been said
against these inoffensive
containers and yet they
have not retaliated in any
I remain, Sir,
way.
Have you
ever
Your obedient servant, thought about the other
side of the argument? How
Martin C. Black would you like to be a
It is with deep regret plastic milk bottle?—unthat I must inform you Mr. loved, unwanted, condemned without a fair trial. For
Black that as the slur oh some unfortunate plastic
your character, to which milk bottles there is nothyou refer, appeared in Fe- ing more we can do—they
licity, I cannot accept any have been melted down to
responsibility for it and unrecognisable lumps, but
can only suggest that you we can save others this
take the matter up with the ignominious end. Luckily
editor of Felicity.
for us these plastic bottles
I do, however, take seri- are not unreasonable. It is
ous exception to the sug- not too late to make amgestion that I am a man ends for our past undoings
who would lower myself to —they are willing to formocking the afflicted, and give and to forget. Surely
unless you, Mr. Black, it is now up to us to go out
make a public apology and meet them half-way?
within the week, I, sir, shall We cannot alter the past,
be forced to call you out I but we can assure them of
a better future, and a betD. Sugden ter tomorrow.
Dear Sir,
As a non student reader
of FELIX I must congratulate you on the new format: I think it has made
the magazine more interesting and has cut out a
lot of the political rubbish
that regularly appeared in
its contents.
But the main reason for
writing this is to reply to
the letter signed "Harry M.
Government". Does he not
realise there are thousands of people who would
be happy to deposit their
money in ANY bank? Does
he not realise thousands

Perhaps there are a few
niggling doubts left in
your mind? You wonder
perhaps where we can
store these aesthetic objects? I do not refer to the
five or six hundred plastic
milk bottles every family
will keep around their
house—Five or six hundred that give their home its
informal "lived in" appearance so greatly prized
nowadays. No. We are concerned with the millions
that we will surely possess
in a few years time. You
may rest assured that suitable places will be found
for them where they can
spend their next million or
so years undisturbed—but
not forgotten. Even now
plans are being drawn up
for
giant pyramid-like
structures made entirely of
empty plastic milk bottles.
These could be monuments to the inventors of
plastic containers.

What's
On
NOVEMBER
Thur 18
12.30 pm Room 303 Mines. I.C.
Scouts and (iuide Club "Informally Us".
Mon 22
7.30 pm Mech. Eng. Theatre A
Wellsoc "An Anatomy of Humour" Dr. S. Goodlad.
Tues 23
20.00 am—12.00, 2.00-4.00 pm
Union Concert Hall. Blood Doning Session. Sign for appointment in JCR Coiiege Block. Any
queries—contact I. Mcwalter,
Falmouth 125.
Wed 24
9.30 am-12.00, 2.00-4.00 pm.
Union Concert Hall. Blood Doning Session.
8.U0 pm Great Hall I.C. Symphony Orchestra.
Playing:—
SCHUBERT. Overture to Rosamunde.
WALTON. Viola Concerto.
TCHAIKOVSKY. Symphony No.
4.
Conductor: JAMES STOBART.
Soloist; JUDY SWAN.
Tickets 25p at door or from
members of the Orchestra.
Thur 25
9.30 am-12.00, 2.00-4.00 pm.
Union Concert Hall. Blood Doning Session.
12.30 Room 303 Mines "Caving
Film".
All Overseas Students are reminded that now is the time to
apply to the British Council for
Hospitality with English Families
during the holiday. You are warned that there is no afternoon
transport on Christmas Day and
you may like to go and stay
with a family over this period.
Apply, in person if possible, to
the Hospitality Section, British
Council, 11 Portland Place, London, W.1.

Dear Sir,
_ I must protest about
FELIX getting itself into
boring politics again. I
refer of course to your
malicious editorial slander
of our comrades the I.R.A.,
who, you unfortunately allege, were responsible for
the recent fireworks at the
Post Office Tower.
The I.R.A. are courageously struggling, along
with the working masses,
for the liberation of Ulster
and its reuniffication with
Eire, where they will be
free to spread the illegalisation of birth control and
ban the books of Ireland's
best writers.
Yours faithfully,
P. R. O'Hack
(pp Anytime O'Guinness)

L A M L E Y ' S
A

E

'
I PAPER BACKS

Much else can be done
on a smaller scale. It is up
to the people of this country to show they care.
Yours etc.,
Meigo "Thrip" Frobisher

1 EXHIBITION ROAD, S.W.7

Page 4

FELIX

Thursday, November 18, 1971

Bo's Sunday Morning
Jaunt

TOUCHSTONE
Weekends away from I.C. at which general topics of
interest are discussed
There are four Touchstone Weekends each year: two in the autumn term and
two in the spring term. They were started in 1950 by Air-Chief Marshal Sir Roderick Hill as informal weekends with a set discussional topic about the same time
as General Studies were founded. Both were founded to help to restore the
balance between arts and science in an all-science college. I think that both
Touchstone and General Studies are a very important part of this college and
they offer the chance for both Staff and students to climb out of their scienceorientated shells and gain a broader outlook on life. Both are arranged by Mr.
McDowall, who lives behind a door labelled "General Studies" on level 3, College
Block.
Touchstone weekend starts on Saturday after lunch when a coach leaves from
the Union Arch arriving at Silwood Park in time for afternoon tea. Accommodation is in dormitories in huts and is of varying degrees of comfort depending
upon one's skill in choosing a bed. After tea everyone assembles in the senior
common room in the main house. Mr. McDowall then explained the history and
aims of Touchstone, these being to give staff and students an opportunity to discuss various topics that will not necessarily concern them in their work. The
guest speaker is then invited to sit on the "Soap Box of Free Speech" to give
his talk (he usually prefers to stay in his chair). The talk lasts about one hour, after
which there is general questioning of the speaker and discussion until the bar
opens for a pre-supper drink. After the evening meal three or four groups of
about eight people are formed and sets of questions are passed around which have
been thought up to help discussion.

For the 15th year in succession, Boanerges, the
City and Guilds veteran
car,
successfully completed the London - Brighton veteran car Rally on
Sunday, November 7th,
with 4 | hours to spare.
The maximum
average
speed allowed is 20 m.p.h.
and despite various stops
due to overheating (mainly
caused by the President's
interest in the outstanding
scenery) losing the President's hat (next to a beautiful girl, by chance) and
stops for the President to
communicate with nature
(and the women along the
route) Bo managed to
average over 19 m.p.h., arriving in Brighton only 7
minutes after the earliest
permitted time.
This performance was

largely due to the many
hours of hard work by Rob
Mathews (Bo driver) and
the other members of the
Motor Club, who stripped
and rebuilt the gearbox,
overhauled the ignition
system and carried out the
many other jobs required
to bring Bo to his present
excellent running condition. We are also indebted
to the mechanical engineering workshop staff

UNION FINANCE
In most years about 85
or 90 per cent of the
Union's income is derived
from student fees, paid
automatically. This amount
in 1970-71 was £23,376.
Expenditure was about
£27,000; but the balance
was met by income from
life members, the Union
Bookshop, investment interest, etc.
How was the expenditure allocated? About 34%
of it can be grouped under
four broad headings:—
General Services and Administration
16.7%
Newspapers, duplicating
and posters, repairs and
minor replacements, in_ _
J
surances, rent of TV's,
secretarial help, sabba'Silwood Park as it was in 19^7'
tical year payments, etc.
NUS
The whole evening, with a break for a drink in the 3.5%
middle is spent discussing. Usually the groups split up
Half of the annual subaround 11 o'clock or midnight and people then disperse,
scription
(the College
many to play snooker or darts.
also contributed), stuSunday morning is left completely free and most
dent conference costs,
people go for a walk in Windsor Great Park, reassemlegal aid sub.
ling in the "Imperial Bar" at the Cannon before lunch.
Publications
After lunch everyone reassembles in the Senior Common where conclusions to each question are taken 4.5%
(Felix, Phoenix, and
separately and discussed, then the speaker sums up,
grant to USK handbook).
bringing the weekend to a close.
The first Touchstone Weekend of the year took place Grants to various Union
on 30th-31st October. The guest speaker was Sir and College organisations.
Robert Birley, K.C.M.G., M.A., F.S.A., who talked about 9.4%
(Academic Affairs, Wel"Nationalism Today". I found the weekend was cerfare, and External Aftainly the most stimulating Touchstone that I have been
fairs Committee, Silto.
wood
Park Committee,
Sir Robert started by defining nationalism, quoting
ICWA, Haldane Library,
from various sources and using the basic definition of
Exploration Board, and
nationalism as the feeling amongst a group of people
Nightline, and the Day
of a unique common heritage and possessing a country.
Nursery).
Having set up this definition of nationalism he proThe
remaining
66%
ceeded to talk about various cases of nationalism
£17,600)
was
throughout history, from 90 B.C. when Corfinium at- (about
tempted to free itself from the ties of Rome, to the pre- largely spent on the stusent day where he discussed Welsh, Scots, Quebecois, dent clubs and societies
and African nationalisms amongst others. Sir Robert —an area which receives
also talked about the special problems of places like particular attention in the
proposals.
This
Bengal and Ireland where certain minorities felt they DES
were being persecuted and said that it was his belief money is channelled in
that posterity would judge a nation by the way that it three ways: —
treated its minorities.
Clubs Committees
The next Touchstone Weekend is on 4th - 5th Decem- (£11,300).
ber on the topic:—"America and Asia — the clash of 42.4%
(The Athletics, Recreacultures". This is the centenary Touchstone and so it
tional, and Social Clubs
will be a very special one.

without whose help Bo
would have stopped working long ago.
This year's Brighton
run was one of the best in
recent years. Not only
was Bo sent off by 50-plus
pyjama-clad
Guildsmen
boomalaka-making wildly,
but there were over 70 at
the traditional Motor Club
meal to celebrate Bo's successful trip. However, we
want 100 next year, so
wake up all of you sleeping
Guildsmen
and
come
along. It's a great day out
and even if you don't like
cars there's an alcoholic
choir practice on the way
back. (I can't think of any
Guildsman who wouldn't
like that—Ed.).
For those who are interested, Bo is a 1902 James
and Browne 9-h.p. Tonneau. Built in Hammersmith, it is the elder of the
two remaining examples of
this marque. It has a horizontal twin-cylinder engine
of 2.45 litres capacity
(that's 2.45 x 1027 cubic
angstroms to you R.C.S.
men or 4.32 pints if you're
in Mines). With its alloy
crankcase and gearbox,
straight-cut gears, giving
40 m.p.h. per 1,000 r.p.m.
in top, and triple-choke
progressive carb, it's performance is not far short
of (nerve) shattering.
The present Boanerges
was bought by the college
in 1933 when the original
one, a Rover, was found to
have been built post-1904,
not in 1903 as was first
thought, and hence was
too young for the Brighton
run (though it had completed the run several
times before V.C.C. discovered
its
correct
age). The Rover had an
ignominious end when it
was pushed, minus its engine and gearbox, but
with an effigy of the
Prime Minister sat at the
steering wheel, to No. 10
Downing Street, and left
to the country.

Committees control 85 are professionally audited,
student clubs and Soci- and included in the College's annual report.
eties).
Ultra Vires payments.
Capital Equipment
Expenditure
Normally at least 10% of
8.5%
income is obtained from
The grant administered other sources than the
by the Union Finance L.E.A. fees, so it is not posCommittee which re- sible to say that any parports to Council. The ticular single item of exstock of equipment and penditure
is a direct
motor vehicles is worth charge on the fees. Microabout £16,500 and the scopic scrutiny by the
1970-71 grant (£2,300) Comptroller General might
was mainly used for re- identify one or two payplacement of worn-out ments which could be held
items.
to further political opinions
that are obviously not reConstituent College
lated to the general purUnions (£4,000).
poses of the Union; but
15%
The C&G, R C S and RSM these would be very small
Unions control another indeed.
40 student clubs and so- Increasing costs and the
cieties; and the major Union subscription.
part of their expenditure
Inflation and the growth
goes to these.
of Union activities have led
Voluntary Subscriptions.
to two increases in the rate
Membership of most of the Union subscription
clubs and societies already in the past 10 years. Each
involves payment of sub- of these was carefully and
In more recent years,
scriptions, and many of responsibly assessed by Guilds has had a Bo Belle.
these would have to be joint College/Union work- However, after last year's
very
considerably
in- ing groups; and accepted fiasco (supposedly the 1st
creased
if the
Union by the Governors. The fee Union Meeting of the year)
grants were terminated. was raised to £7 per stu- when Bo Belle was elecSubs now range from the dent this year, as an in- ted, it was decided not to
nominal (e.g. 12£p), to a terim measure: but it is subject
the
ladies of
level of 75p or £1 for sports agreed that it should go to Guilds to the ordeals of
clubs. Boat Club members £10 in October 1972 if the parading amidst jeers and
pay £2.50; and Gliding Union is to meet its gene- whistles, which tended to
members £10 (with very ral needs, provide ade- produce rosy cheeks and
substantial launching fees quate staffing for the deflated egos.
and soaring fees as well). office, and fulfil its responAs well as participating
Travel and other costs are sibility for the upkeep of
in
the Brighton run, Bo
only subsidised to a limi- furniture and furnishings in
ted extent. A number of the various premises it also takes part in many
Guilds events, including
clubs pay instructor's fees, uses.
Carnival collections, supand many are affiliated to
Hitherto the College has porting the boat crews on
national organisations or been the Union's paymastMorphy Day (what was
controlling bodies.
ter only in the sense that that about driving along
Financial Control
it has transmitted the ap- the bank towing someUnion Council, the main propriate sums from the thing?), carol singing, The
sub-committee, and the L.E.A. fees, and has ap- Lord Mayors Show and not
the
a n n u a l only British but Italian
Constituent Colleges ap- proved
prove detailed estimates at accounts. The new propo- Television.
the start of each year. The sals could change this by
We are confident that if
Union Treasurer and eight introducing, for the first
other Senior treasurers time, a conflict between the present level of sup(members of staff) aid the the financial needs of the port for Bo is maintained,
committees in budget con- Union and those of other
trol. At the end of each claimants on the College's he will go on as long as
financial year the accounts overall resources.
Guilds exists.

Thursday, November 18, 1971

FELIX

FERMENTED
' F E L I X ' looks
at B e e r a n d
Wine-making,
Longing for a drink?
Fancy a wild orgy? But
you can't afford it, can you,
not with the extortionate
bar prices (and we all
know where the profits go,
don't we folks?) and a
grant which allows for £1
pocket money per week.
Then gentle reader perhaps it is time you started
making your own booze.
Expensive? Well, beer costs
about 3p a pint and wine
about 5p a bottle; draw
your own conclusions. Or
perhaps the idea of making your own beer and
wine is repugnant because
it smacks of Women's Institutes. In fact recipes are
regularly printed in such
groovy rags as IT and
Frendz. It requires very
little initial outlay—you've
probably got most of the
necessary materials already—and the enjoyment
you get at the end is surely
justification for the time
you put into it.
The basic materials for
winemaking are as follows:
A plastic or enamel bucket
holding at least a gallon, a
glass carboy or jar holding
a gallon (with a cork and
airlock), a length of rubber
or plastic tubing (about 3
feet), various pots and
pans, and of course bottles. As for ingredients,
anything can be and is
used, ranging from the norisk tinned
grape-juice
wines with additions of citric acid, sulphur dioxide
tablets, grape tannin and
other chemicals, to concoctions consisting of leftover vegetables prepared
in traditionally repulsive
ways such as being left to
collect a thick mould. It is
true that quite palatable
wines can still be made
quite cheaply without resorting to anything doubtful.
These instructions are
for a fairly cheap wine with
out chemical embellishment and without a mould.
Methods of preparing the
extract to be fermented, or
"must" as it is called vary
with the individual recipes
but basically, for fruit and
flower wines cut up or
break 4 lb. of fruit or a
gallon of flowers and pour
on a gallon of boiling water. Leave for about 3 days
then strain and add 4 lbs.
of sugar and a teaspoonful of yeast; for vegetables slice about 5 lb. and
simmer in a gallon of water until tender, replacing
any water lost during the
boiling, then strain, add 4
lb. of sugar and, when the
must is cool, the yeast.
Yeast can be of any sort—
brewer's or baker's yeast
works quite well although

a wine yeast is obviously
preferable. The sweetened
yeasted juice is poured into the jar until it is filled.
Any surplus is kept in a
bottle for topping up the
main bulk during fermentation. The jar is stood on a
tray in a warm room and
soon fermentation starts
and froth pours over the
sides of the container into
the tray. When froth no
longer forms, the tray is
removed, the jar cleaned
and an airlock or loosely
fitting cork is fitted. When
gas bubbles are no longer
formed, the wine is treated
as follows depending on
the type of wine required.
For dry still wines place
the jar in a cool room for
fourteen days and syphon

FELIX

difficult to make except by
accident.
However carefully you
think you've made the
wine, snags do occur. The
one which bothers me
most is that wine continues to ferment after it has
been bottled even though
it looked completely dead
in the jar. There are several remedies for this; you
can bang the corks in, tie
them down and hope that
it makes a good sparkling
wine, or pour wine back in
the jar, let it ferment on
and hope you won't be
fooled again, or try sterilising the bottles in boiling
water. I haven't tried this
myself but I am assured it
works. Many home-made
wines won't clear and al-

After one y o u do anything

well

A well known secretary showing the CONSOCQUENCES
of Loadernberry wine.
off, without disturbing the
yeast deposit. The wine
can now either be bottled
and left for 6 months before sampling or alternatively it can be stored in
the jar for 6 months and
then bottled for another
6 months. The advantages
of this method are that the
wine is less likely to ferment in the bottle and
more likely to be clear
when drunk. For dry sparkling wines bottle the wine
in heavy glass (champagne) bottles, add a teaspoonful of sugar to each
bottle before corking, and
tie the corks down tightly.
For sweet, still wines, to
each gallon of fermented
wine add f lb of sugar, stir
until dissolved, reinsert the
airlock and allow to ferment once more. When
gas is no longer formed
taste the wine and if it is
not sweet add another £
lb. of sugar and referment.
This should be repeated
until the sugar remains unfermented. This shows that
the yeast is dead and more
sugar can be added if desired without the risk of
further fermentation. Sweet
sparkling wines are very

though this has no effect
on the taste, it does seem
to detract from the aristocratic
feeling
some
people get when sipping
their plonk. It can be avoided by adding a pectolytic enzyme (e.g. Pectozyme) to the must before
fermentation, which should
also ensure that fermentation is over fairly quickly,
or by adding wine finings
(e.g. CWS) after fermentation. More serious is
when the wine picks up
mould or vinegar bacteria.
This should be prevented
by an efficient airlock but
if it does happen you might
as well throw the wine
away. Then there is the
case
when everything
seems to be fine except
the wine doesn't taste
good. In that case you can
either grin and bear it or
try turning it into vermouth
by adding bitter herbs.
With a bit of luck none of
these horrors will befall
you and you will have a
wine you will be proud to
show your friends, even if
you drink it all yourself. I
should stress that wine
must take its own time and
unless you buy a grape-

extract-type wine this will
be at least nine months.
The making of beer will
probably be of more interest to students because it
only takes a month at the
most to make. The majority of home-made beer
comes from kits of various
sorts complete with instructions so it doesn't
seem necessary to repeat
them here. The equipment
required is almost the
some as that for wine-making except that a larger
bucket may be required
and that screw-topped cider bottles are much better
than corked ones. The best
of the kits is the one called "Geordie" which contains a string bag of malt
and hops which is brewed
just like the real thing,
folks, other kits miss out
the brewing part and supply malt extract which just
needs to be dissolved in
water.
There are a few points
worth making which you
probably won't find in any
instructions. If you can't
find a saucepan big enough to do the brewing in,
repeated dousing of the
malt and hops with boiling
water seems to work just
as well. The beer tends to
throw down a heavy deposit which gets into the bottles when the beer is syponed off, this can be partially offset by syphoning
off the beer twice —
once about 3 days before
add again just before bottling. There will still be
some sediment in the bottom of the bottles by the
time the beer is ready, so
when opening them decant carefully into a jug
before serving. And finally,
don't think you failed just
because the beer doesn't
taste exactly like Starbright. It's stronger for a
start.

F r e c k l e s . . . and dark brown eyes,
Wide with unasked loneliness and hurt;
Lounges, trying to smile, at the top of a twisting staircase
Which she thinks I shouldn't climb.
And she wouldn't understand if I tried, so I won't,
But I'll remember h e r . . .
Freckles.

T H E

C L O T H

Immersed in sludgy gravy the "Coq au vin" arrived
And joined the cluttered cutlery
And all the token imagery
Arrayed upon the cloth
Soup plates now devoid, unseen, are hastily removed
And bare space eagerly awaits
Pure white enamel dinner plates
That fit upon the cloth
Unknown exotic veg, yes, readily paraded
But dark grey potatoes are placed
Far away that they should not waste
The talents of the cloth.
At last with winey finery the main course was served
The dinner plates were now all fulfilled
Their complacent purity killed
Sacrificed to the cloth.
'Midst undue haste starched creases have been blemished
By drops of gravy I mislaid;
Strange to say fulfilment made
Sacrilege of the cloth.

QNO
15 J U L Y
PUBLICATION
F R O M
S P H E R E
B O O K S

i

SPHERE

Page 6

Thursday, November 18, 1971

FELIX

ALBUMS

IN

B R O W N

A N D

V E L V E T

" W hit e Light-White Heat"
Velvet Underground (Re-release) M G M
What is so good about this group? Groups that it is
definitely " i n " to like come and go. Led Zeppelin, The
Doors Traffic, and even Soft Machine have been and
gone from the elite. But some groups stay. The Band,
Grateful Dead, Velvet Underground. In a recent review
this album was described as "probably the greatest electric rock album ever made". I listened, and half agreed.
Then an angry letter was sent to the paper in which the
review appeared pointing out that the review of the
album when it first came out dismissed it as repetitious
and pretentious, and I half agreed again. Some of it is
repetitious, certainly. "Here She Comes Now" is a bad
track, built on very limited musical ideas. But the other
tracks are repetitive only when repetition increases an
effect, and are never pretentious, unless songs about the
squalor of heroin-shooting can have any pretentions. The
Beatles, The Byrds and Country Joe could extol the
virtues of LSD, the Stones sang about pills and what
group worth its salt didn't mention cannabis in one context or another? Only the Velvet could sing lyrics like
"I'm searching for my mainline, I couldn't get it sideways, just like Sister Ray said".
"The Gift" is a narrative of how a man posts himself
to his girl because he can't afford the train fare; she
and her friend can't open the parcel so her friend sticks
a blade right through it. It's like a horror film you've
seen before and know it has a grisly ending, but each
time you see it again you hope everything will turn out
right in the end. This track, "Sister Ray" and "I Heard
Her Call My Name" which sounds through headphones
like having your teeth drilled, probably do qualify as the
foremost "horror rock" songs ever made. Music for
nightmares, bad trips, withdrawal symptoms. Horribly
good, certainly, but not the best. After all, The Who's
"Tommy", Pink Floyd's "Ummagumma" and Soft
Machine's "Third" were still to come. But we learn by
our mistakes and that is what makes "White Light/White
Heat" so important.

"Galactic Zoo Dossier"
Brown is back! Arthur
has had a lot of trouble
over the last three years
getting a group together,
with the various ex-members of his groups, among
them members of such illustrious ensembles
as
Atomic Rooster and Emerson Lake and Palmer complaining that he was impos-

—

I t w a K a Trice

T3trt

^-2*-

Before I start my reviews, I'd like to 'plug' a film that
Filmsoc is showing on the 19th November: the film is
'PRAISE MARX AND PASS THE AMMUNITION' which
is described as a look at "the business to end all business—Revolution". The film is directed by Maurice
Hatton with John Thaw as Dom, and is well-worth seeing.
Back to the film reviews proper. At last I managed
to see 'PRIVATE ROAD' and I would strongly recommend that you should get to see it. It is like "Bronco
Bullfrog' about young people in London but has moved
away from the East End to a more middle class area. The
film is about Peter Morissey (Bruce Robinson), an
aspiring, young writer and Ann Halpern (Susan Penhaligon) a middle class secretary, who meet; they try
to get away from her family first by living together in a
flat and then by going to the West Coast of Scotland
to write his novel; they go back to London where his
novel is rejected and Ann discovers that she is pregnant and she retreats back to her parents where she
has an abortion. It might seem to someone who has
not seen the film to be a rather trite story, but behind
this is the director Barney Platts-Mills. Barney PlattsMills is a director who makes films about the young and
undecided; Peter comes out of the film as being a very
unsure person. At the end of the film he gives the impression that he will eventually marry Ann and become
part of the 'gin cultured' middle class and his friend
Steve, the non-conformist will continue to go his own
way. It's very hard to talk about this film is isolation from
'Bronco Bullfrog' as this film has so many common
themes with 'Bronco Bullfrog'. And I'd prefer to talk
about Barney Platts-Mills' films as a whole when I
review 'Bronco Bullfrog' in February (or thereabouts).

Arthur Brown's Kingdom Come—Polydor
album is built as a sort of
concept, all the songs running into one another, and
represents
possibly
a
journey through space, or
an acid trip. Or perhaps
the demented ravings of a
man regarded by many as
being completely insane.
Insane?
Perhaps,
but
Brown's must be the insanity of a Rasputin rather
than that of a Don Quixote.
The lyrics don't detract
from the reputation a bit;
an3 aircraft ftrnctttnthey're frequently hysterical,
occasionally poignant
-pvTVb. fuel. uu"e±toa
System,..^...
and often hilarious, particularly
"Brains"
and
"Night of the Pigs'. While
occasionally good music
is sacrificed to make way
for
"weird", gimmicky
noises and effects, the
songs are in the main excellently constructed and
the instrumental contribution by the group as a
whole is not just a backing
for Brown.
Listen for
SiesT-loam AWhATiajs, Ambrose's,
vrtreak e n e m y , a~g#x\ -<Wm HHae f u e l Andy Dalby's guitar on
"Sunrise"
and
Julian
Brown's dipping, swelling
synthesizer on "Simple
Man".
Apart from the aforesaid comparisons to the
Crazy World, this band has
no debts. Don't listen to it
because Arthur Brown's
name is on the cover —
listen because Kingdom
Come made it. But listen to
it. Now excuse me while I
bury a hatchet in my head.
Yahoing!

sible to work with. The
current group has been together for nearly a year
now and with this album
under their belts look like
staying that way. The album should come as a
delight to those who liked
the God of Hellfire back in
1968. Similarities with the
original Crazy World are

Say —^Mt
XV&» slivrrt-nfl,

FILMS: ' Private Road' and
Days and Nights in the Forest

inevitable, of course, the
percussion keyboard style
of Mike Harris being particularly like that of Vincent
Crane.
Bnt don't think that this
group is a copy, The Act
(featuring among other
things Arthur being crucifield) and most of the
songs have changed. The

Satyajit Ray's film 'DAYS AND NIGHTS IN THE FOREST' (Paris Pullman) was the first Indian film I've ever
seen and I didn't know what to expect. I half expected
a film with a very rigid structure like a Japanese film,
but what I found was a very easy going film, telling of
four men who go into the country from Calcutta for a
week and what happens there, it's a kind of back to
nature journey which has quite humorous consequences. Ray's technique produces a fairly even paced
film which does drag a little but there is always something to attract your attention.
In the next edition of FELIX I'll review some films for
Christmas; including Frank Zappa's film '200 MOTELS'.
Also between now and 1st December sees the London
Film Festival and I shall take a look at Monte Hellman's
'Two-Line Blacktop' with James Taylor and Dennis
Wilson and Stuart Rosenberg's 'WUSA' with Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. Plus any other good films
I manage to see.

BOOK R E V I E W :
"ALTERNATIVE LONDON"
This is one (probably the) best guide book to London
now available. Straight types should not be troubled
about the book's lack of applicability to them, since it's
not really so "alternative" as the name implies. It includes advice about the perennial accommodation,
tenant and landlord, drugs, and of course sex, hang-ups,
with which you may or may not be familiar. Its availability on the street (from part-time pushers) when you
may be able to haggle for a reduction on 30p, or even
in the famous high street bookshop which refuses to
stock Oz, Private Eye or FELIX. Or make 15p per copy
by selling it yourself.

FORGET-ME-NOT LANE
"Our whole lives are an extrapolation of our infancy"
observes Frank in Peter Nicholls' semi-autobiographical
nostalgic, time-leaping play 'Forget-Me-Not-Lane'
(Apollo Theatre). This statement just about sums up
the play's message—the child is the father of the man,
no generation is really much different from its predecessor. Frank is the author-figure, and the bulk of the
play is a series of flashbacks into his past as he stands
aside and comments on the action. We see him tolerating his affably tyrannical father ("Don't drink, don't
smoke and don't put propositions at the end of sentences") attempting to court his girl, and doing his bit
in War-time concerts. He grows up and gradually moves
away from his friends, his parents and, to avoid repeating his father's matrimonial mistake, eventually his wife,
all the time wryly regretting lost love and opportunity.
All of which would be rather dour were it not for
Nicholl's superb comic talent. The play free-wheels in
and out of it's six-door set, jumping backwards and
forwards in time, laced with wild humour and gently
funny 'Joe Egg' type soliloquoy. Anton Rodgers plays
the chatty Frank with an easy charm, even advising
the audience on the location of the Theatre bars; while
Michel Bates plays his Dad with just the right tension.
Typical of the play's humour is Frank's explanation to
the audience "For those of you smoking hash and
wearing beads and your grandmother's curtains, us
doing our bit was not the same as you doing your
thing". It really is a very god play, though judging from
the number in the audience it may not run for much
longer.
On the other hand 'Showboat' (Adelphi Theate) will
probably run for years. This revival of the classic
Jerome Kern and Oscar Hammerstein musical enjoys
huge and varied sets, sumptuous costumes, hordes of
excellent singers and dancers, very acceptable music
and one or two very notable individual performances
with Derek Royle and Miguel Godreau particularly sticking in the mind as Captain Andy and the lead dancer
respectively.
Unfortunately the show seems to lack almost all plot;
what there is seems only to exist for song-hanging.
Presumably this did not worry the original 1930's audiences, but now, after the strong dramatic lines of
'West Side Story', 'Oliver!' and 'Man of La Mancha',
the mixture is really too weak. The very middle-aged
audience applauded rapturously throughout the show
('so nice after all this modern stuff) but the matter
is of little consequence. If any.
Bob Carter.

Thursday, November 18, 1971

FELIX

SPORTS FELIX
On a cold but pleasant
afternoon in November it
was said that some IC students went down to Putney
to watch a boat race or
two, and now even three.
Morphy Day proved to be

different in general aspects
this year—the absence of
the towpath battle, the innovation of a third race
and the christening of the
new boat by Lady Penny.
The innovation of the
year must have been the
race between the "ruggereights". After practising
only in the tank, three
crews of non-oarsmen performed creditably in their
first outing. Over the halfmile course there was an
excellent strugggle between Mines and Guilds.

I st

X V

However the good, constant rowing of Mines overcame the good start of
Guilds to win by three
lengths, R.C.S. ploughed
home a gallant third! (The
idea of this race was to en-

courage maximum use of
our facilities anywhere and
create more interest in
constituent college contests?).
In the Lowry Race there
was probably the best race
for first place. Guilds and
R.C.S. were in strong contention for the whole race
and only in the final 400
metres did Guilds manage
to draw away and win by
one length. The hardworking Mines crew was
left in the wake of this tremendous struggle between

S h o w

Yet again another literary masterpiece from your
roving reporter giving you,
the general public, all the
information as to how the
first rugby team are progressing. The team has
been going through an indifferent phase in the season having lost 4 of the
last 6 matches. These
were: Rosslyn Park Stags
(8-13), UC (8-12), Bedford
Wanderers (3—14) and
Twickenham (13-17); the
other two were victories
against Ealing Tech. (14—
3), L.S.E. (12—9). Some
of the matches are described in detail below
(how boring—Sec).
Against Bedford Wanderers on Saturday, 6th November, after a riotous (?)
bonfire night at Harlington,
l.C. 1st XV turned in a
superb performance to
hold the second team of
possibly the best club in
the Midlands to a 3—14
defeat. I.C. were under intense pressure for most of
the game, since the Bedford attack dominated all
the possession by their
sheer physical size. However, l.C. defended their
line superbly well after suffering the setback of an
early try by the Bedford
three-quarters. After somebody cocked up a penalty
kick in front of the posts
(I wonder who??) Bedford
went further ahead with a
breakaway try. So the halftime score was 8-0 in Bed-

Mixed

ford's favour. I.C., in the
second half, were playing
in the wind and slope and
although went 14 points
down early on, came back
into the game more and
more as time went by,
coming very close to scoring
(especially McDonough, after a wonderful 30yard touchline run, only to
be caught by the cover a
few yards short) on several occasions. However,
Bedford held out and James kicked a penalty goal
right on time to bring the
score to 3—14.
Team: J . Hughes; J . McDonough; B. Baines; D.
Osborne; P. Loftus; A.
James (Capt.); C. Flanagan; M. Sugrue; H. Michael; C. Wrigley; C. Humphries; R. Matthews; A. Tebbett; I. Partridge; T. Morris.
On Sunday, 7th November IC played Twickenham
in the second round of the
Middlesex knockout cup
and were defeated by 17-13.
Electing to play in strong
wind in the first half IC
were soon in the lead with
a penalty from James. IC
increased their lead to 9
points when Hughes made
an entry (?) into the line
to send McDonough over
in the corner—the try being converted by (what's
his name?). IC thus turned
round and faced the stiff
breeze and found themselves level when Twickenham scored a penalty and

Guilds and R.C.S.
In the Morphy Race the
suggestion that the conditions favoured the powerful Guilds crew proved to
be correct. From the start
the Guilds left the Mines
and R.C.S. boats in an exciting and excellent race
for second place. Through
Putney Bridge there was
nothing to choose between
these two crews with
Guilds well ahead. At the
Boathouse the Guilds won
by
three lengths and
R.C.S. had managed to
creep ahead by a third of
a length from the Mines.
Under the expert guidance of the Umpire Tom
Sutton, the races were
started smoothly and without incident — even the
rugger-eights. The three
events provided the constituent college contingents with some exciting
and excellent races—congratulations to all crews,
especially
the
ruggereights.
In the gathering gloom
of the evening Lady Penny
christened the new shell
cox four in the traditional
manner. May the Boat
Club thank both the Rector
and Lady Penny for attending Morphy Day.

Progress
a converted try. Twickenham went further into the
lead after a scrummage
when their scrum half
picked up to score. 13—9
down, lC came back
strongly with much vocal
support from the soccer
fans (?) of the student
houses and were rewarded
with a try right on time
when from a short penalty
Tebbett took the ball on
the burst to hand on to
James who scored near
the post. He did however,
manage to b - - - r up the
kick and so the game went
to extra time with Twickenham scoring first to clinch
the game.
Team: with-held for security reasons, but known
to consist of 15 players.
Final bit of bullshit coming up. This Wednesday
(or last Wednesday, depending on when you read
this), anyway 10th November, IC played LSE and
were victorious by 12—9.
LSE won the toss and decided to play into the wind.
IC had to defend for the
first few minutes but they
soon came back into the
game. IC opened the scoring when from a misdirected relieving kick from the
LSE defence the ball went
to full back J . Hughes who
dropped a 40 yard goal,
much to the embarrassment of someone who
shall remain nameless. After a period of heavy pressure IC went further ahead

Page 7

HOCKEY
Saturday, 30th October.
On Saturday IC trekked
out to Shenley for their
match against UC. Unfortunately both teams were
one player short, which
never marred an exciting
and hard game. Both teams
elected to be one toward
less, and consequently the
remaining attack became
even more determined. IC
began a little shakily, being
lucky not to have conceded a goal in the first
minute, but soon rallied
despite UC actually scoring early in the second
half. The equaliser came
soon afterwards and the
match seemed destined
for a 1-1 draw. However in
the last minute of the
match with one IC player
almost passing-out (?!)
from a severe clout with a
hockey stick UC forced
the ball into the net and so
took the game to 2-1. However the result could have
easily been reversed and
on the whole IC put up a
very creditable performance.
when Pilkington picked up
a kick from James to send
McDonough over in the
corner (again!). This try
was superbly converted
from the touchline by
(you've all guessed wrongly;) P. Earl making a guest
appearance for the first
team. So IC turned round
with a 9 point lead. This
was eventually whittled
down by LSE who drew
level, although in fact the
IC team had been doing
most of the attacking in
the second half. It was left
to the magical boot of Earl
to give IC a deserved victory.
Team: J . Hughes; J . McDonough; P. Pilkington; D.
Osborne; P. Lofts; A.
James (capt.); C. Flanagan; M. Sugrue; P. Earl;
C. Wrigley; C. Humphries;
R. Matthews; I. Rhys; I.
Partridge; A. Tebbett.
LATE FLASH
Hew Michael, celebrated
Captain of Vice of IC Rugby Club wants it made
known that he actually
scored another try, against
Ealing Tech. some time
ago. This must be some
sort of record since he also scored against Avery
Hill to make a grand total
of two for the season so
far. Well done Hew!!
KIBBUTZ
What's it all about. Stay with
us for a month or more as a
working visitor and discover
for yourself. Scheme for the
young 18-30. Apply now for
details to the Kibbutz representative, 4-12 Regent Street,
London SW1. Please enclose
fair size s.a.e. 01-930 5151 X333.

EDITORIAL
The proposed Government's reforms on Student
Unions, will, if they are
implemented,
certainly
curtail the present freedom that students have in
the financing of their activities The threat is that
students in future will have
no control on the amount
of money that the College
(i.e. the Government) gives for student use and
there is also the possibility
that students will no longer have any say in how it
is spent.
With respect to sports
clubs within IC, a grant is
received from the general
Union funds which is ably
managed by the Athletics
clubs committees and externally audited. This is
then divided amongst individual clubs to subsidise
equipment, stationery and
entertainment of visitors.
In the proposals there is
no provision for any such
grant aid; in fact they
specifically state that clubs
finances must be found
totally from the membership or fund raising events
which will mean that the
cost of sports to the individual student will rise
quite dramatically.
Those clubs with expensive equipment may even
have to cease their activities whilst even the popular and co-called "cheap"
sports will find membership hard to come by when
we can visualise the clubs
being composed of only a
hard core of enthusiasts.
The student who plays his

sport mainly for enjoyment
will not be able to afford
the increased subscription
and consequently the cost
will be even higher for
those who can pay. Clubs
will also not be able to
plan in advance because
they will be unsure, year
by year, exactly what this
total budget will be.
It is the policy of A C C
to make sporting facilities
easily available to all students and it would be a
disaster if the present system in Universities which
allow students to be introduced to new sports, many
of which they would be
unable to take advantage
of outside college, would
fall apart completely; the
student would only be able
to do as little as he can
afford.
The Union, at its EGM,
was almost unanimous in
condemning these proposals and has supported the
London College's march
on Wednesday, 17th November, and it was hoped
that all sports fixtures
could be cancelled so that
all members of the teams
could attend.
For notice of further action that is to be taken,
then the Union meetings
should be attended when
the latest information on
the situation will be made
available.
OBITUARY
Mr. W. Beauford, Chairman of ACC, has recently
become engaged.

1st CLASS 1st XI
We are now over half
As well as the fixture
way through the Autumn programme, the IC team
Term and IC soccer teams will also have their sights
continue to beat the best. set on the first round
Both the first and second proper of the ULU cups on
Xl's are still unbeaten.
Saturday, 4th December.
It has been said many Training for this has starttimes before that to have ed in earnest this week,
a successful first team a but at present training sesclub must have a strong sions are somewhat undersecond team, this certain- subscribed, and I cannot
ly applies at IC, and our emphasise enough that
second team is good and training is essential to a
skilful as many other Col- good Cup run, as well as
lege first teams, and most success in the league comof the present second team petitions. However, it is
have at some time played not enough just to be fit
for the first and equip and training sessions also
themselves extremely well. provide the opportunity for
In fact, last Wednesday •teams to get together more
Bill Pyke made his debut frequently, to build a good
for the first XI and scored team and club spirit. With
a hat-trick in a 4—1 win this in view, we would like
over UC—a fine perform- to see every team member
ance. With potential of this at training on Tuesday and
lunch-times,
calibre lurking in an ex- Thursday
ceptional 2nd XI, the first meeting in the Union gym
XI players have to put at 12.30.
everything into their game
to secure their place, and
with a more difficult fix1st XI: N . Bakewell; M .
ture programme in the sec- McGrath; R. Kill; C. Willond half of this term, the
1st XI will have to pull out cock (capt.); M. Pearson;
all the stops to maintain N. Fryer; I. Rogers; B.
their good start to the sea- Smith; B. Pyke; J . Kelly; B.
son.
Milne.

Thursday, November 18, 1971

FELIX

Page 8

THE C & G TRIP
IX*
fMoorgate

The time, 9 o'clock on a dismal Saturday morning;
the place, Guild's Union office, this was the start of
C and G's, nay IC's contribution to this year's Lord
Mayor's Show.
SIDE S H O W
At the start it looked like we were about to experience
a monumental disaster as the rain gradually set in. Glum
faces told all that needed to be known but everyone
soon cheered up as the enjoyable pastime of waking
up the Union officials was discovered. Jowitt was particularly troublesome and two phone-calls had to be
made just to make sure he was still awake. By the time
this had finished more distractions were made available by the steady increase in outlandishly dressed
people. However, the event of all this was the attempt
to give away lunch tickets. Originally the Vice-President
tried to do this by calling names out but complications
set in as he explained that the groups that people's
names were called in indicated the float that they were
on. This might have been alright if the name of the
float had been mentioned at the same time but predictably nothing so obvious occurred.

'

changing foreign currency into sterling. Attention was
soon diverted from this when the amplifier was turned
on on the C and G float. With this blasting out large
amounts of noise vaguely resembling pop music almost
nothing else could be heard—especially City who had
only a rather feeble public address system. C and G,
with a theme of 'Students Today—Engineers Tomorrow',
actually had about six of its female members on the
float, giving the misleading impression that this is the
actual ratio of male to female in the college. Little did
the crowds know that this is about the total actually in
the place!
About this time concern was expressed that the public might not know who we were, as a 'Boomalaka'
was thought necessary, and so at 11.20 there was the
first of many, assisted by the amplifying system. Someone pointed out that all the lamp-posts had the C and G
coat of arms printed on them. Well, it's quite true, they
:|j|f
. .

RE m m

WHAT ABOUT THE WORKERS?
The first thing we noticed at the start was the large
number of multi-coloured floats crowded into the side
street. Floats about Banks, Insurance, were at the front
covering subjects from 'the spirit and adventure which
characterize the insurance business (??) to Banks, a

'- '• ' S i l l ,

O P E N AIR S H O W
After the show someone had the great idea of taking
everyone back to South Kensington on the float. So we
found ourselves sailing down Oxford Street with the
music full on and generally distracting the shoppers.
This was about as much fun as the actual parade with
quite a bit of money being collected from passing cars
and pedestrians. An experience not to be missed is
public reaction to a 'Boomalaka' outside Selfridges!
All in all this is a great tradition worth perpetuating if
only for the fun public and students alike get from it.
(Many thanks to Brian Darling, John McCullough,
Rob Armitage and a happy chain of coincidences which
led to this article).

News in B r i e f

•!

service to the people'. In the former was a representation of the 'Golden Hind' with a number of people
dressed in Elizabethan costume C and G students, were
the 'Bank managers' and people at work and play' in
the latter. The Metropolitan Water Board float had their
own pop group. Sundry unusual electric cars followed
this with the theme of clean students dressed in white
and blue costumes were driving them and generally
making the point. Surprisingly enough they too were
from C and G and by that time I was beginning to wonder if there was anyone else there! However this illusion didn't last long as the next float happened to be
City University who had produced a large cash register
to symbolise the part played by the City of London in

Lunch was a totally disorganised affair, with practically anyone being able to get in just as well, otherwise
half of the people involved would have starved. None of
the 'invisible men' who did most of the collecting had
received lunch tickets.
Victoria Embankment was the most exhilarating part
of the day, coming out at just the right time. Since it is
a dual carriageway Bo found no difficulty at all in finding us and various U-turns found her right behind us.
Again an apologetic Mr. Jowitt found himself listening
to the police!

did, but unfortunately most people think of these as the
City of London's. With the show about to start it was
suddenly realised that the Vice-President, responsible
for organising (?) everything, had not turned up and
some interesting comments were made! However, he
was eventually vindicated when found to be organising
the collection. This raises another point as to how
C and G happened to be the only College licensed to
collect for charity during the show.
At last, the actual journey had started. Most of the
pavement along the whole official path was packed ten
deep, which is an incredible number of people.
S O M E HIGHLIGHTS
The Lord Mayor on being pressed to contribute to
the Rag Charities, said 'I'm sorry but I've no loose
change'. Bo, of course, had to make an attempt to catch
up with the C and G float. However, after a few yards at
30 mph the police stepped in (?!!) and some cautionary words spoken into the driver's ear robbed CrimSoc
of yet another member. Attempts by City to dampen the
spirits of C and G with a couple of water pistols, failed
miserably.

MISPRINT—AN APOLOGY
Readers may have been
puzzled by an article entitled "IN THE MUCK
HEAP" in the last FELIX.
They may have wondered
who or what dogs would
be encouraged to "deface". Of course, this was
a printing error, and should
have read "defecate". The
meaning of the piece
would also have been
clearer had the title not
been changed from "IN
THE SHIT" by a nameless
intermediary between author and reader.
Lunchtime O'Boobs.
A GOOD BANK TO HAVE
BEHIND YOU
Further to last week's
mention
about
bank
charges, you may be lucky
enough to receive a letter
similar to that Midland sent
to one of our scouts, which
read "we do not propose
to charge your a c c o u n t . . .
in view of your family's
connection with the Bank
for many years." We hope
to bring a comparative
look at bank charges in
the next issue.
IMPERIAL NOBELLED
Dennis Gabor, Emeritus
Professor at I.C., is to be

congratulated on his recent windfall of £36,000,
not to mention the Nobel
Prize for physics. FELIX
is glad to refer readers to
a previous issue of I.C.
News for the full write-up.
GUYANA, NOT GHANA
BWANA
We apologise for implicating Carl Seaford in
recent allegations about a
Ghana passport. The country concerned, as Carl was
anxious to stress, is in fact
Guyana. Anyway, its still
not British!
OPENING TIME
Regardless of promises
to the contrary, Southside
Shop is extremely tardy in
opening. You should not
rely on purchasing breakfast provisions if you intend to get to a 9.30 lecture.
Lunchtime O'Breakfast.
CONGRATULATIONS
Tony
Kirkham,
last
year's deputy president,
has finally got his MSc. All
the bodies on Felix would
like to send their heartiest
congratulations to Tony
and all those involved in
bringing about this 8th
wonder—we didn't fink it
were possible.