Spoof news stories from Saturday 11 January 2014

We were invited in to hear Preacher Robertson talk to young couples and families.
Phil Robertson stated that he was glad to see the three young married couples there with us and that he felt like he should speak out about certain thangs that most...

Tel Aviv - He wowed the world at Nelson Mandela's televised requiem with a schizoid take on world leaders' tributes that turned out to be no more than daft random phrases like 'fried prawns, man!' and 'rocking horse'.
This weekend international si...

A newly launched non-profit organization established to advocate on behalf of animal farmers and confined animal feeding operations (CAFOs) encountered a bit of glitch in its inception: what to call itself that wouldn't immediately turn off consumers...

The Seattle woman who had a three hour orgasm and wound up in the hospital emergency room says her partner probably won't say if he helped what had happened.
"That's up to him. I don't think he did anything different. I only drank some wine as usu...

For one woman, a mind-blowing orgasm sent her to heaven, then through a lot of pain and after three hours, to the hospital emergency room in Seattle.
The lady had just had sex with her partner, but well after he climbed off, Liz was hitting new p...

After the death of former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon millions of Christians are "looking for signs" that the the new Messiah is among us and are eagerly awaiting salvation and the opportunity to say "I told you so" and to nod their heads kn...

Angry scenes at A&E tonight as a man and woman, Barry Nutsafe and Dawn Moulds are having a 'pain-off', just to see which is more painful. Being kicked in the privates or childbirth.
We have an audience including staff having fag breaks, peopl...

Special to TPN - Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey will be competing in the New York City Marathon to be held on November 2, 2014. Contrary to rumor, all lanes will be open on the Verrazano Bridge section of the course, but the center lane will b...

BROOKLYN - The Miami Heat went up north to New York City and ended up getting the "Heat" turned off as they were beaten by the Knicks of New York and the Nets of Brooklyn on back-to-back nights.
The Knicks beat the Heat 102-92 and the Nets defeate...

HOLLYWOOD - In a statement that has many people in the know asking "What?" talk show host Queen Latifah has hinted that she may be getting ready to come out of the closet and announce that she is a lesbianite.
Ty Tickler with Hollywood Innuendo wo...

So many Welsh people have left Wales to escape the rain, long place names and speed cameras that the Welsh government is having to train conscripts from Yorkshire and China. Thousands of depressing green anoraks have been imported from India and mis...

SANTA MONICA, California - Stevie Nicks the noted witchy woman singer with Fleetwood Mac recently sat down and talked with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight at a local Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner.
Nicks, who amazingly is 65, was asked about t...

NEW YORK CITY - British soccer star Chicharito flew into the Big Apple to have some photos taken for an upcoming poster.
The Manchester United player, whose real name is Javier Hernández Balcázar, was asked by Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Ga...

Freedom Industries Explores Its Freedom To Pollute The Waterways Of West Virginia
Freedom Industries, the more-important-than-humans industry conveniently located next to the major river supplying water to nine counties of a rural portion of West...

Detroit, MI Detroit was chastised by the emergency bankruptcy manager for not revealing its lottery wins. It appears that Detroit has just been going out and having a good time and not letting the bankruptcy manager know about the windfalls.
"It'...

Governor Chris Christie spent nearly two hours in Trenton on Thursday, apologizing and taking questions from reporters about the controversial closures of some toll lanes at the George Washington Bridge last September that caused huge delays in trave...