I am a survivor. Thats what those of us with Traumatic Brain Injuries call ourselves. Because I often can't remember yesterday this journal serves as my memory. I have decided to share my life to help others understand this disability. You can E mail me at bobcarver2@yahoo.com. Your comments are always welcome. Tell your friends about my blog if you find it interesting

Friday, November 13, 2009

I am Blessed beyond measure.

This morning's sunrise

11/13/09 Friday Friday the thirteenth, the day my youngest son was born. He’s not my son by blood but because I had the privilege of raising him since he was about three or four years old. I got to talk to him a couple of days ago. I think it’s been a year or two since we had a conversation other than my dropping an email or message on the internet. It was good to talk but always a little strained when I do. That’s because of the distance between us. Not the physical distance but the one created through my divorce from his mom eight years ago. I talked to her a few minutes as well and that too was uncomfortable. But that’s to be expected all things considered. She helped fill in some of the many blanks I have in my memory but they weren’t necessarily good blanks to be filled in that they aren’t good memories.

However, the truth, no matter how unpleasant, is a good thing to know. Barb told of just how lunatic I had become in those closing months before the accident, telling of how I had been carrying an axe and baseball bat talking about hearing sounds and being paranoid. I let her know that the doctors discovered I had had a stroke during this time and showed Cherie the MRI that revealed it. Coupled with depression and drug use I was beyond left field by then. Oh, how far I had fallen. What a long way it was from running the two companies I had built from scratch that had employed 127 people one year to later being homeless wandering lost.

The car wreck truly saved me life. What an irony and scriptural metaphor that is. I was pronounced dead at the scene and am still listed as a fatality by the state of Oklahoma but in being brought back to life was given a chance at a new life. With the brain damage I was kind of “born again”, having to learn how to walk and talk and then learn how to function and get along with people. That part is an ongoing process you know, learning how to get along. In the Bible it speaks of how we must die to our old lives in order to be born again to a new one. My new life is so much better than what I had before. It’s peaceful and quiet, more or less, but mostly it’s with Cherie, my first and only love. Talking with Barb helped me appreciate that even more.

So today is a new day, as every day is. There was a wonderful sunrise that I had to get up and take pictures of. Love to share these with you just as I love to share what God has and is doing in our life. Work to do so enough chit chat. Click to enlarge.

11:30 – Time for a break. I’ve been cleaning up the back yard in preparation for eventually leveling it out and planting Bermuda grass. Shouldn’t plant it till mid spring according to what I read so will work to get it ready for then. It will be nice to eventually have a real lawn instead of weeds and blown in sand. There are lots of rocks and other things that have accumulated back there over the three or four years we have lived here. I worked till my pain level told me to take a break, as I usually do. I can tell time by it for the pain medication begins to wear off about 11:00. One of the things we look forward to with the inheritance from my father is that I will be able to hire someone to help me do so many things that need doing. It will be a night to day difference around here with just that little bit of help. There is so much to do and so much potential for this place that just a little extra help will work wonders. I so look forward to next year regarding this farm, especially after not doing much of anything this year. I’m really disappointed with myself regarding that. Seems like I just sat on my ass and didn’t accomplish anything. Can’t let that happen again.

I fixed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and took a pain pill. The dogs are all passed out on the floor here in the office with me. It’s peaceful. Trixie had another tick on her. We can’t seem to get rid of them but they don’t seem to be on any of the other dogs. I don’t understand that. We gave them all the frontline treatment at the same time so maybe I somehow missed her.

Today I’ll pick up the disc Eric downloaded for me so hopefully that will allow me to get my laptop up and running again. One of the investments we plan on making is a new one for me and with the inheritance I might go ahead and get a Mac. But in the meantime I’ve got the pc and it’s got everything on it so getting it running is vital.

Perhaps we will be able to afford to build a henhouse and start raising chickens. That will be another big step forward toward our goals of building this farm into a profitable enterprise. Good eggs and meat from organic farm raised chickens are a delicacy that are healthy and beyond what you can get at the grocery store. But that will require a lot of education and work to accomplish. Plus we’ll have to figure out what to do about the dogs. I can assume that Gretchen will see them as a meal, having been a stray, and Ben too.

Then there’s Rascal and Trixie to worry about. Rascal spends his days chasing all the birds around and is fixated on them. He’ll sit below the power lines barking at the sparrows and dove sitting on them above. When the fly he scurries after them. The barn swallows play with him on purpose, flying slowly near the ground just in front of him to get him going. Then they go into a tree and laugh, teasing him incessantly. If he stops barking I’ve watched them fly down at him just to get him going again.

So the chickens could be a problem and we will have to keep them locked away or something. I plan on using the chickens to help prepare garden areas so will have to build something called a chicken tractor. It’s basically a rolling cage that allows you to confine the chickens to specific areas and then move them easily to another. They will scratch up the dirt well, eat bugs and weeds, and of course provide some “natural” fertilizer in the process. If we get some guinea hens that will be even better. Chickens will tear up a garden area and destroy good plants along with weeds. But guinea hens will go through a garden area and eat the bugs but leave the plants alone. So they are a natural, non poisonous, pesticide so to speak, and can be a powerful tool when it comes to growing organically. Plus I can make money selling them so that’s good business. After all a farm is a business and making a profit is important.

It’s 12:23 now. The pain meds are working and it’s time to get back out there. I lost a big part of yesterday work wise. I kept out trying to work but didn’t accomplish a lot. Today I’m doing well so don’t want to waste time writing when I can do other things.

1 comment:

Bob, I've found that if you wait to turn the chickens into your garden area, after the seeds have grown into established plants, the chickens don't bother the plants. They eat the bugs, plus giving them grain or such in their coop at night as you put them up, normally gives them a full stomach to where they don't eat the plants. They seem to like the bugs more. I've never had a problem.