Fly Derrie-Air — the world’s first carbon-neutral luxury airline

Derrie-Air, with its slogan, “Pack Less. Weigh Less. Pay Less,” will charge passengers on the basis of their weight plus their luggage. The airline says it will plant trees for every pound of carbon emitted by its planes, and makes this promise of customer service:

Every passenger will be treated like royalty. Every seat will be first class. There will simply be too many extras and treats on our flights to list here, but highlights will include: gorgeous air hosts and hostesses, golden-age Rat Pack films, top-shelf vodka Martinis, on-demand video blackjack, spacious private washrooms outfitted with porcelain fixtures and gilded faucets, gourmet snacks, on-board masseuses, loofah scrubs and, of course, digital cable!

In case that outrageous commitment didn’t give it away, Derrie-Air is a joke.