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10. Use it as a bookmark in your copy of Winning the Lottery for Dummies.

9. Use it as a coaster for all the beers you’re drinking to forget how much you wasted on f’n lottery tickets.

8. Write a note to your boss on it apologizing for telling him to stick your job up his butt yesterday since you didn’t need it anymore because you were going to win the lottery.

7. Use it as toilet paper (though to be honest, you should have just wiped you ass with the two dollar bills you bought the ticket with since you were basically just flushing it down the toilet anyway).

6. Use it as kindling to start a fire to burn down your house so you can use the insurance money to buy more losing lottery tickets.

5. Throw it out your car window while passing a cop and receive a ticket for littering which will have only a slightly less of a chance of winning you 580 million dollars than your actual lottery ticket did.

4. Keep it in a frame in a highly visible spot in your home as a constant reminder of what a disappointment it was the same way my mother used to keep pictures of me.

3. Roll it and use it a holder for the cigarette butts you’re picking up because you can’t afford to buy your own since you blew all your cash on lottery tickets.

2. Send it to the little African kid you’re sponsoring for just 33 cents a day to show him why he’s not going to eat this week.

1. Lick it and stick it to your forehead. See if you feel like even more of an idiot than you did for wasting your money on the ticket in the first place.

A man was arrested for drunken driving after he appeared to be sleeping and police had to knock on the roof of the car to awaken him. He was taken for a blood draw and when the doctor asked if he’d been drinking, answered “I’m livin’ the dream.” The man then asked if anyone around him at the hospital “wanted to do some shots.”

October 6th City of Neenah

A woman called police to report that she could hear voices in her back yard at 3 a.m. Police responded to the area and found a 19-year-old man lying in the grass who told them he was left there by friends. The man was highly intoxicated and thought he was in Oshkosh.

October 22nd Village of Gresham

A caller told police they caught someone spitting on their mail.

October 22nd Town of Seneca

A man called police to report someone had stolen a culvert on Ridge Road.

October 24th City of Wisconsin Rapids

A woman reported to police that her neighbor was yelling at her because she was yelling at her own children. The neighbor then called and reported the first caller is always yelling and started yelling at him after he asked her to stop yelling.

October 12th City of Glendale

A 50-year-old woman was arrested for drunken driving and refusal to take a breath test after she was found “passed out” in her running car at a gas station. After failing field sobriety tests, she called one officer names and then asked another to go out with her on a date.

October 17th City of Waukesha

A woman called police to report that sometime back in August someone stole her tooth from her purse She suspected the tooth thief was her homeless sister.

October 17th City of Waukesha

Customers at a business on West Avenue were almost hit by golf balls hit by customers at another West Avenue business.

October 24th City of Portage

Police took a report of a stone buck statue that was damaged when a living buck tried mating with a nearby stone doe statue.

October 25th City of Wisconsin Rapids

A man called police to report seeing something orange floating in the water near the Riverview Expressway bridge. Responding officers discovered it was a toy.

About WAPL

105.7 WAPL, Wisconsin's Rock Station, is a 100,000 watt radio station serving Green Bay, Appleton, Oshkosh, and the surrounding communities in the Fox Valley and Northeast Wisconsin.

105.7 WAPL is also your FM home for Green Bay Packers football. Listen all season for complete Packers Radio Network game coverage from Wayne Larrivee and Larry McCarren.

The Rockin' Apple has spent over thirty years entertaining listeners through the music of artists like Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Ozzy Osbourne, Van Halen, Metallica, Pink Floyd, Motley Crue, and countless others - along with concerts, contests and the humor of the veteran morning duo of Rick and Len.

In 2008, WAPL won the prestigious Marconi Award for national Rock Station of the Year. WAPL has also been awarded Rolling Stone Magazine Reader's Choice Station five times (1990, 92, 93, 94, and 95). In 1999, the station won Radio and Records Small Market Rock Station of the Year, and in 2004 and 2006 won the Wisconsin Area Music Industry.