Greater New Orleans

A Christmas wish list that makes for great outdoors presents

OK, Santa, my wife and editor have just cleared me to leave the annual list, narrowly voting that I've passed the "not naughty" label and scraped enough of the "nice" bar to make a few requests.

So, all I want for Christmas is ...

The nation to finally accept its responsibilities and begin paying for the stabilization of Louisiana's dying coast. I know, Santa, you must be wondering why I continue to top my list with this request, even though it's never been granted. Here's the reason: Unless we get big help within the next five years or so, future generations will only be able to read about the great Mississippi Delta ecosystem -- and many of the communities that existed there. This isn't just about huntin' and fishin'.

More ducks and a longer season. Sure, this season has been great so far, but I just can't help myself.

A shotgun that doesn't miss.

Hardhead catfish turning vegan. I'd like to ask for the total elimination of this species but am afraid of the ecosystem consequences. At least this way they won't be eating my 35-cents-each live shrimp.

An anchor that sheds clay.

A congressional delegation as concerned about our environment as they are about the oil and gas industry.

A constitutional amendment limiting what anyone (including a candidate) or group can spend on any campaign so fish, wildlife and outdoors folks have a chance to be heard and represented. Through November, oil and gas spent $110 million this year, utilities $75 million and real estate $50 million. Lobbyists say they don't buy votes, only access. OK, but with now-unlimited spending, how much access will be left over for the rest of us?

Tarpon in City Park's lagoons.

Elk in Biloxi Wildlife Management Area.

The wind and sun at my back on every cast and every duck hunt.

A foot bridge to The Dam at Bayou la Loutre so bank anglers can join the action.

Tuna in Lake Pontchartrain.

Ducks that fly mainly after 10 a.m.

An end to attacks on wetlands protections under the Clean Water Act. This year the House GOP -- including Louisiana's contingent -- repeatedly tried to block restoration of even some of the protections removed from isolated and intermittent wetlands by Supreme Court decisions in 2002 and 2006. Some 20 million acres of wetlands critical to fish and wildlife -- including the heart of waterfowl breeding grounds in the prairie pothole region -- remain open to draining and development. If this isn't fixed when the next drought arrives, as it surely will, duck populations will plummet.

Redfish that are always hungry.

Deer that are noisy, near-sighted and have sinus conditions.

Teal the size of geese. Just wondering if they'll still be so fast, and tender.

A single boat that can slice through a Gulf chop at 55 mph to reach the tuna, but still be light enough and short enough to pole through the duck ponds for sight-casting to redfish.

Blue water that reaches the delta, even when the river remains high enough to pour a new layer of sediment over what we have left.

Death to all gnats, or at least a Star Wars-type "shield" to keep them away on these terrible winter days when the temperature warms to 75 and the wind dies.

A public that really gets engaged in our coastal tragedy. Because most residents never travel to the other side of the levees, they remain unaware of just how dire our situation has become. Even after Hurricane Katrina dumped water in their homes and killed more than 1,400 of their neighbors, wetlands protections and restoration usually come in second when competing with other issues.

Sportsmen's Savings Time (SST). Yes, this is another annual, Santa. But it makes sense: In October, we push sunrise back four hours. That lets hunters and anglers sleep-in until about 8. Life would be so much better for everyone.

A dog that lives as long as humans.

More and bigger specks on every trip.

A Louisiana mountain range so I can go wilderness backpacking/fishing without leaving the state.