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To me virginity for a guy is probably going to be towards an attractive or neutral quality to a lot of nicer girls on paper, maybe only negative for those who specifically value sexual experience and don't have the patience for a virgin...

BUT too often the inexperience is accompanied by a difficulty in knowing how to charm and confidently (not courageously, confidently wouldn't require courage) approach girls, ask them out, and really show them the best time on a date. It's a competition out there for girls who are widely desirable and my money's generally on the experienced guy to have an edge in attracting a girl and setting himself apart from the guys waiting in line and wanting a specific girl too much too soon.

So to me that's the biggest disadvantage of being a male virgin and it's not really related to the lack of sexual experience, but just the general lack of comfort around girls that typically accompanies virginity. A virgin guy will tend to have the usual sexual desire for a girl but on top of that a burning curiosity of what it's like to be with a girl in a romantic/sexual way, and that curiosity tends to have a negative effect on their ability to confidently just talk to a girl.

Experienced guys usually don't have much issues with confidence since they generally won't want a girl they haven't dated so much. It'll tend to take a bit more than some friendly exchanges here and there for them to develop feelings, and by that point the girl will often be feeling the same way. Developing all these feelings prior to that can often mess up your ability to act naturally and smoothly around a girl.

Put another way, to me a male virgin, especially one that's getting older, is like a beginner to a game that is way too ambitious and eager to win but doesn't know how to effectively score. It's a very ineffective combo unless the beginner is a total natural and knows exactly how to charm women, plays it cool, pays attention to how the game works, without that eagerness to win at any cost getting in his way.

If you're a virgin who can naturally find it in himself not to be desperate for a girlfriend and not fixate and obsess over some girl you never even dated, then that helps mitigate a great deal of the disadvantage that typically comes with virginity.

If you're a virgin, try to ask girls out sooner *before* you develop feelings for them besides the fact that they're pretty (not too strong of a feeling yet that you won't have with lots of other girls).

That might sound all backwards to you since it might seem like you want to fall in love with her character first before asking her out, but that falling in love thing with a girl often develops a lopsided interest in her. It's something virgins will tend to do very, very quickly and even though it might seem noble and your dreams of her involve caring for her a lot, it's fueled by inexperienced and ultimately some sense of underlying desperation. Girls can sniff out that underlying desperation and find that lopsided interest creepy. Experienced guys will tend to need a girl to *earn* their affections and not just hand it out freely because she's being friendly and looks good only.

You can still fall in love with her over the dating process as you get to know her better, but in [...]

[...] a dating context where she's likely to end up feeling the same way about you almost simultaneously as your feelings grow stronger for her.

That can mitigate the virgin disadvantage and give you confidence, since asking the girl out sooner before you feel that strongly for her yet will put you on a level field with guys who are experienced and need a lot more to develop strong feelings and deeply care about a girl in particular.

You can definitely break out of the whole virginity cycle, and you're still perfectly young enough to not make it so difficult.

Try to fix this part too. It sounds like you're eager to find a girl who feels the same way about you as you do about her. That suggests to me that you fall in love too easily which is again something an inexperienced person would do. An experienced guy would value a girl who makes *him* fall in love with her and really earns his love for her. That kind of quality, while it sounds picky, generally leads to a kind of behavior that attracts girls more than a guy who's just wanting to find a single girl who loves him back.

Avoid lopsided interest and avoid putting girls on a pedestal. They're your equal. They need to earn your attention just as much as you need to earn theirs. That'll put you above the rest of the guys who'll just start dreaming about the first pretty girl who smiles at them and talks to them here and there.

What Girls Said 3

I like the idea of a girl who is a virgin so, I voted attractive. I like the idea of her being mine and being her first time is a big part of that. However, experienced girls are attractive to since I like the idea of a girl knowing what she is doing.

What Guys Said 7

Everyone's going to be all nice and say it doesn't matter.. And I think in a lot of cases that's true. However when it comes to us guys especially, a lot of girls will judge you for being a virgin. Girls are attracted to guys who are desirable, they like a guy who every other girl is also into.. And therefore being a virgin, she may assume you're not very popular with women or at least not very experienced with women. However confidence is more important, if a guy's a virgin and he owns it and is proud to say it, it will help to kill and judgement she's made.