Uncomfortable at 35,000 Feet

December 22, 2010

Taking Uncomfort to New Altitudes Courtesy of RyanAir!

Great Scott, first time one of these actually sees use!

The perks of flying RyanAir are few and far between. This message is mostly to my American audience which, if you’re lucky, have not had the dubious opportunity to experience. Inexpensive tickets are standard at RyanAir and an unparalleled ability to hose passengers with extraneous fees are as well. Their ability to make flying uncomfortable and awkward is as figurative as it is literal; their hard plastic backed, recline’less seats are the perfect example. Comparatively, at least with a company like Southwest, the staff is generally cheery and you get complimentary nuts… as opposed to the figurative kick to them.

I now find myself at the Alghero, Sardinia airport en route to continental Europe before jetting trans-Atlantic for a merry Christmas. Flying in Santa’s sleigh at 35,000 feet, fully exposed to the elements sounds like a better alternative than kicking it cattle-class, being offered smokeless cigarettes by the live, on-board RyanAir infomercials. Alas, I’m on my way home and am psyched for the holiday with friends and family. RyanAir’s unkindly tidings can bah humbug themselves!

I write this particular post, however, to point out exhibit number 3,769 in RyanAir’s level of absurdity. I have just witnessed them measure EVERY SINGLE PASSENGER’S CARRY ON LUGGAGE. While I cry fowl just as much as the next rule abiding traveler when I see someone with a freakin’ suitcase as their carry on, these silly RyanAir personnel have the gall to check everyone yet still let every single passenger go through, despite when it takes three people to shove said luggage into the bin, and one extra generous bystander to help remove it.

Anyway, I wish you all a merry December 22nd everyone! Safe travels, joyous eating, and a happy Festivus to boot.

Sean

I had one RyanAir experience, never to be repeated again, flying between Germany and the UK. The plane arrived at a small airport terminal with plywood flooring, and as soon as the doors opened up to the tarmac everyone started running for the plane to get a seat and overhead storage space. Felt too much like traveling Greyhound in college, or maybe how cattle feel being herded onto a cattle car.

I expected the PRO’s got luxury all expenses paid 1st class treatment when flying, especially to and from official training camps. Go figure.

Tom

Ahhh yes, Ryan Air. Here’s one for you. They wanted to charge me some ridiculous amount for some stuff I was planning to hand carry on the plane, certifying that each individual item was an individual piece of luggage. So I said, OK, turned around and walked back to their check in desk where they had a big Ryan Air branded garbage can, which was being emptied by a custodian. So I ask the custodian, “hey, mind if I take a garbage bag from your stash?” And he says “but of course.” I load my stuff into the garbage bag, go back to THE SAME GUY at security who turned me away, present him with my garbage bag and a smile. He looks through the garbage bag, baffled, then says “that’s fine, have a nice flight.” The coup de grace with Ryan Air, however, has to be the trumpets celebrating “Another on-time arrival from Ryan Air!!!” If the flight didn’t make you insane, those trumpets will push you over the edge. But, hey, for 29 euros from London to Rome, what do you expect?