I'll Never Let You Go

Summary:
Both Bella and Edward have lived happily together for years.
Or so they thought.
Now everything seems different.
Bella seems distant
And Edward begins to doubt if what he did was the best for Bella, for both.
Maybe this wasn't what Bella really wanted after all...
And maybe Edward staying with Bella wasn't the right choice...
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This is the story of what could have happened if Edward never left Bella.
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~NM-AU~
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[banner made by -->ME<-- ]
***--> CHAPTER SEVEN is being validated <--***
[Something Terrible is about to happen...]
Read to find out what...
***Story status: hiatus.**[10/09]

Notes:
^^Original Banner^^
DISCLAIMER: Non of these are my characters...SM not mines [sadly]...
This is my own little twist to New Moon
hope you all like it!!!
^_^

1. Chapter one

I walked towards our room, where Alice had told me I would find Bella. I was hoping to see her after my hunt. She didn't want to come along, and had told me to go ahead with Emmett and Jasper.

'Edward, Bella needs you. She seems upset about something. I'm not sure and she says she doesn't want to talk about it, but Edward I thin-’ before she finished thinking, I was already upstairs.

Slowly, I opened the door to our bedroom. Bella was sitting there, with a faceless expression. Why did she look this way? What could be bothering her?

She looked zoned out. She was surely more alert then all of us and would have noticed my presence in the room, but she didn't move. Would even acknowledge my return? Usually she would come running down the stairs, and embrace me in one of her passionate kisses or hugs; but today everything was different.

I stepped closer to her, and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. We looked out the window-not that that would help me see why she was like this- at each of the rain drops as they hit the glass. From her face, I could tell that she was still lost in her thoughts. I wish I could see what was concerning her. Maybe if she allowed me, I could be of assistance.

I sighed, and closed my eyes. This was clearly all my fault. She wasn't happy with me. This was all because of me. I truly am a monster. I knew the day would come when she would regret all of this.

One of her hands reached up to touch my cheek. I opened my eyes as she traced my features. My hand cupped her face as I looked into her eyes. Her face was the same one I remembered. Excepting her dark chocolate colored eyes, which were now a light topaz. The only thing I could see was sadness. She tried to conceal those feelings by looking away, but I knew her better than that.

What could I do to make this better for my angel? I caressed her cheek with my other hand, and pulled her closer to me, taking in her sweet scent.

"I'm glad your back," Bella said, and pulled away from my grasp to give me a kiss. "I missed you." She added when as her head rested on my chest again.

I lowered my lips to her ear and whispered. "I missed you as well. More than you can ever imagine." She smiled.

I took her to our bed--which of course she thought was unnecessary, because now that she was a vampire too, there was no need for it—which reminded me of our human past. I wouldn’t change our past for anything. I set her on my lap, and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I leaned so that both of our foreheads were touching, and looked straight into her amber eyes. The fact that when she was human, I couldn't read her thoughts slightly amused me now because, I could read them, but only when she allowed me to. It was even more difficult and a tad frustrating now.

"Love, are you alright?" I asked. Her eyes focused on mine. "Bella, Alice told me--"

"Well, what a surprise," she said, slightly annoyed, and rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Edward. You're here, and that makes everything better then fine." She hid her face in my neck.

"Bella-" I cupped her face so that she would be looking at me. "-I can tell when something is wrong. Please just tell me." I pled. I waited patiently as always for her to tell me. "You can tell me anything" I added.

"I know." she answered.

"So, will you tell me?" I asked, hating to see her like this. The way she looked at me tore me apart. I traced her features with one of my fingers. I knew this wasn't going to take away whatever was bothering her, but I wanted her to let me in; to allow me to help her. I knew she suppressed things, so I wouldn't get worried, but not telling me only made it worse.

She sighed and finally spoke, "I miss Charlie." There was so much pain and sadness in her voice. She wouldn't be like this if I had never allowed her to come with me and my family. I should have never agreed. I should have left her. Her life would have been much better if I had never let her fall in love with me. She could have lived a normal life with her father. Probably would have found someone that loved her back-though I doubt it would ever compare to the love I have for my Bella-someone less selfish than I.

"Edward," she said in her angelic voice.

Everything about her was angelic; her smile; face; eyes. Absolutely all about her was Angelic and perfect.

"Edward," I focused my eyes on hers, on every-single detail on her face. "Don't beat yourself up." Here I thought that I was the mind reader. I looked away. I didn't want her to read my eyes. I had done enough. She took both of her delicate and indestructible hands, and placed them on each side of my face, tilting it so that I would look at her, "Love, I made that choice. I wanted to come along. I wanted to be here. With you." How could she be blaming herself for this? This all could have been simply avoided by me. "I chose this life..." she trailed of for a moment, and continued, “...it's just...I-I left him without a warning-" she put her head down and in a low whisper, "--Just like Renee had done to him so many years ago. Charlie was probably devastated when he read the note I left him."

That was the day I made the worst decision in my life. I had tried to leave Bella. It was also the day that I proved everyone, even myself how, selfish I really was.

I drove to Bella’s house, and waited for her there.

“I have to do this. I have to leave her. Let her go before I put her in more danger than I already have.” I repeated over and over. What happened with James, and now with Jasper was more than enough reason to leave. I had to protect her.

When she finally arrived home, I walked to her took her bag and put it back on the seat. “Come for a walk with me,” I tried my best not to sound like I was broken. I didn’t wait for an answer; I just took her hand and led the way. We walked into the woods, which were still close to the house, and stopped a few feet off the trail. I could feel her tense. I leaned against a tree as she said, “Okay, let’s talk.”

I took a deep breath. I had no idea how I was going to tell her; might as well start with the truth. “Bella, we’re leaving.”

“Why now? Another year-”

“Bella, it’s time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty and he’s claiming thirty-three now. We’d have to start over soon regardless.” This was the best I could do. I didn't want to hurt her more.

She was in deep thought, and almost whispered, “When you say we-”

She looked confused. I don’t think she understood what I was saying. I tried my best to keep my face expressionless, as I replied, “I mean my family and myself.” It took her a few minutes before she spoke again. I waited patiently, until she was ready.

“Okay, I’ll come with you.” There was nothing else I would want more in this world, but this was for her own safety.

“You can’t, Bella. Where we’re going...It’s not the right place for you.” I told her.

“Where you are is the right place for me.” She was so damn stubborn. Why can’t she just make this easier for her; for both of us?

“I’m no good for you, Bella.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re the very best part of my life.” I stayed quiet for a moment. How could she think that I was the best? I was no good for her. She could do so much better than me. If it weren’t for me, James would never have attacked, and Jasper would have never threatened her life.

Bella walked a few steps toward me and I felt myself going weaker. Just tell her to forget what you just said. Tell her you’ll stay. Having her this close made it more difficult for me to continue with the act. If she only knew what she was doing to me. I had to do this. It was for Bella’s own good. I kept telling myself these things repeatedly, but every-single particle of me was screaming, ‘don’t do this. Not to her.’

“Bella, I don’t want you to come with me.”

“You...don’t...want me?” Please Bella; don’t make this harder than it already is.

It took all the strength to next say, “No.”

She fell on her knees and started crying. I moved so I could get her up, but stopped myself. “Edward, you promised. You promised you would stay. You promised.” I couldn’t stand watching her like this. I went to take her in my arms and held her tight. “You promised Edward. You promised.” She repeated, now sobbing, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

“I know...” Trash this plan. I couldn’t live without her. I needed her in my life, like she needed me in hers. I couldn’t do this to either of us. It was too painful.

“Edward, I love you. I want to go wherever you do. I don’t think I could ever survive without you.” She whispered, sobbing in my arms.

“I too love you, but Bella don’t make this harder for us. It is for the best.”

“The best for whom? For me, Edward? Do you think that if you vanish my life is going to normal? That I’m going to forget about you, and move on with my life?!”

“Bella--” My resistance was crumbling.

“No, Edward, nothing is going to be better. Nothing is going to change what I feel for you right here,” She took my hand and placed it where her heart was. I felt the beats go faster. “Not even time. Every time you’re near me, this is what happens. My heart only beats for you, and no one else. Without you Edward Cullen, I would die. I’m going with you, and don’t tell me I can’t, because I will come along anyway.” In her deep brown eyes I could see that she wasn’t lying.

That’s when she got me. I couldn’t leave her. ‘She needs you to stay with her.’ My subconscious told me. I just nodded and hugged her tighter. If anything were to happen to her because of me, I would never forgive myself. "Bella, you’re positive you want to do this? I don't want you to do something because of me."

"Edward. I'm sure. I want to go where ever you are. Plus, my mind is made up-"

"But--"

Placing a finger over my lips, she declared, "Whatever you say or do won’t change that. It is my choice."

We ran back to the house, and Bella began to write on a piece of paper she found on top of her night stand. "Edward, help me pack please. Charlie is on his way...I don't want him to see me leave... I don't think I could handle it."

I was done packing by the time she folded her note. I carried her case downstairs, and placed it in the trunk of the Volvo. I saw her crying looking at a picture of her and Charlie.

"Bella, don't do this to yourself." Wiping her tears away she turned around and hugged me. "I'll be fine. Promise" I hugged her closer to me, and kissed her forehead. I knew how painful this was for her, but I couldn’t live without her.

Placing her note on the kitchen table we walked out. She glanced back at the house and walked slowly to the Volvo as I held the door for her.

"Bella I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so selfish."

"Edward, don't apologize. I knew what the outcome would be."

"Bella I-"

"No. Please-" she said, firmly putting her hand over my mouth. "-stop blaming yourself." How could I not? I could have just left, or tried to stop her falling for me. She wouldn't be like this right now.

I looked at her as she gazed into my eyes. They bore into mine. I leaned in, and kissed her softly, but passionately on the lips. This always seemed to relax her and put her at peace. Sadly this was all I could do for her right now; make her feel comfortable, and most of all, loved.

When our lips parted a little, I breathed, “I think we should head downstairs. The family is waiting for us." I stood up, with her in my arms, not ending our kiss. Her hands were still around my neck and her lips on mine. She manage to whisper, "Edward,"

I didn't want to brake the kiss again so I responded with a, “hmmm?"

"Let’s go downstairs. They’re waiting for us."

"Well, they can wait a little longer. It's been two days. I'm sure they'll understand," Bella gave me a peck on the lips, and replied," I know, but we shouldn’t keep them waiting."

"Fine." I was on my way out when she stopped me.

"Edward,”

"What?"

"I can walk down the stairs without tripping, and killing myself now...I'm unbreakable, you know." she teased.

I chuckled, and said, "Well, it is going to take some getting use to." She smiled as I put her down.

"Thank you." Wrapping her arms around my neck, I placed my hands around her waist and leaned for another kiss. I pulled away to take in all her beauty, and asked, "Shall we?" She gave me a breathtaking smile, took my hand, and walked down the stairs. Everyone was there; all eyes upon us.