From mud huts, umqomboti and straightback to penthouses, expensive weaves and moet!

YES 143

I sat there and wondered if this was the move we wanted to make from here going forward. It was risky that’s for sure because already I was not feeling it. If I supported my sister in pursuing this little girl I don’t think I would ever be happy with but if I did not it might push me further away from my sister especially now when it needed it most.

“You girls are not telling me what’s really going so I can’t advise you on it!”

My aunt said to me annoyed at my frustration and the fact that I kept pacing back and forth did not make it better either. What exactly could I say though without sounding crazy? I told her the story again and when I was done she casually said,

“19 is not a child. I am with your sister on this one. Let the courts decide! A tooth for a tooth!”

She did not even hesitate. Was I feeling sympathy for this girl whom I did not even know nor like because of the people getting retrenched at work because of me?

“But aunty she is a child!”

I protested to my aunt.

“The moment she started sleeping with married men she stopped being a child. Did you not say they moved in together even? Does that sound like a child to you?”

She asked me packing her bag. Why was everyone not seeing reason? This was not even a situation of girls mature faster than men because if it was, why did they get pregnant so damn much? That does not sound like maturity to me.

“If the two of you believe that then I am not going to chase after her then. I just feel like there will be consequences!”

I told my aunt who really was not interested in hearing me defend this girl which I was not doing by the way. I was angry about my mother’s death yes but was this the way to get satisfaction.

I had no choice but to sit down and wait for my sister to come back. My aunt kept cleaning staff and I don’t know why because we had cleaned everything already twice! It was annoying me as I was trying to think of where my sister could be.

I heard my gate open and I ran to it thinking it was her. It was Miriam. Crap I had forgotten about Miriam.

“You look disappointed were you expecting someone else?”

She asked me when my face fell.

“Yeah my sister! Hi! You been scarce!”

I told her as she walked towards me.

“I wanted to tell you the other day but I was so busy. My mother has me running around so you can imagine I have been busy!”

She explained as she hugged me.

“Why can’t you just call her and ask where she is? This way you won’t have to run to the gate every time it makes a sound!”

She teased.

“Like dwee Miriam you think I have not tried. She is angry at me for something so I think she has gone to get some air or something!”

I lied to her. Somehow telling her the whole truth did not feel like the right thing for this moment. What if she told her mother and next thing everyone knew what we suspected?

“Oh ok but fighting with your sister right now is the wrong move and I know you Lungi don’t be hard on her!”

She said walking into the house. Miriam did not need an invitation getting into my house as we grew up like sisters.

“Hello aunty o jwang?”

She said in Pedi even though she was not even Pedi.

“Ke teng o kae?”

My aunt responded to her in Tswana. You can’t say you from Joburg if you not multi lingual. Ayekho lonto!

“My mother says you should come over for tea.”

Miriam said. My aunt said she would go another day and to thank her mother. She was never going to go that’s for sure I know Miriam’s mother irritated the crap out of her. Everyone loved her yes because she was bubbly and talkative but too loud is not something most people like and she was that.

“Lungi I have to go home. Can I leave you here to wait for your sister? Please don’t leave because I don’t think she had any keys with her!”

My aunt said as soon as Miriam sat down. I got the impression that she was trying to give us space but I could be wrong.

“Yes its fine! When are you coming back?”

I asked her. It’s so weird to think in the years my mother had been alive my aunt had stayed here longer now in the few days that she had been dead. This cannot be right. Why is it when families fight the dispute can be allowed to last this long?

“During the week. My clients need me and I need to tend to other things as well!”

She told me. Somehow I got the impression that I would not be seeing her for a long time. We needed to maintain this relationship with her now that my mother was dead.

“You said that my mother told you something before she passed on, can you tell me now!”

I asked Miriam.

“Yes I can but not quite. Your sister has to be here too!”

She told me.

“Ah come on, you can tell me now. I don’t know when she will be back so tell me and I will tell her!”

I asked her nicely.

“Your mother said you would say that but also said not to trust it because you tend to want to protect your sister by not telling her anything that could hurt her so no, I will wait till tomorrow if I have to!”

I wanted to laugh but out of annoyance. My mother really knew me. Vele I would not have told her if I thought it would hurt her. I probably would have left it out.

“Ah come on Miriam you know me, of course I will tell her!”

The curiosity in me growing and why did it have to be something bad. That’s the part that got me and now I wanted to know. We waited two hours imagine where I was not even talking anymore because I was tired of begging before my sister walked back in.

“Where have you been?”

I asked her getting up angrily.

“Drop it Lungi! Miriam how are you?”

She said greeting our guest and dismissing me. She was not in the mood for games by the way she had said it.

“I am good thank you.”

She said seeing that my sister was not in a good mood.

“I can come back tomorrow if you guys would like since clearly something is in the air!”

She said outright.

“No nothing is wrong. Please tell us what mama wanted to tell us!”

I begged her. My sister did not back me up. She went and poured herself a glass of water and went and sat in the sitting room.

“Ok then.”

Miriam said as we joined my sister who again said nothing.

“Your mother gave me a letter which she asked me to read for you. She specifically said I must read it out loud to you so no Lungi I won’t hand it to you before I do!”

She said making a dry joke. I was not going to dispute that.

“Thank you Miriam please go ahead!”

My sister finally said as Miriam took the letter which was in a white envelope, unsealed it and read it.

“My beautiful daughters

If you are reading this it means that I am not longer here. Firstly I am sorry that I let you down and left you all alone. I do not think there is any woman in the world right now who could be more proud of her children than I am. You have superseded my expectations so much so that I am sure where ever I am right now, I am smiling. Life is short and I know we all think we have plans to make it better and be better but reality is our days are often numbered.

To my beautiful first born. You are probably sad right now and angry too. I am sorry that I died especially now when you need me most. So much has happened to you lately I would be wrong not to start there. Your marriage has fallen apart and you are blaming yourself for that! Don’t! You have done nothing wrong and it’s clear that man does not deserve you. Often as women we hold on longer than is necessary and reward useless people with our love. We are embarrassed to say that this is not for us in order to save face. You do not have to fight for a man who for one moment thinks someone else is better than you because down the line it will come back to haunt you. Walk away and you will find even better down there. I know there are times when you cry yourself to sleep and it’s ok to cry but not too long. At some point you get up and move on. You have a home here so never feel stuck there. You are angry that your sister beat him up for you, yes I know about that too and Lungi, that was not right but have no regrets on it! She was trying to protect you and from now onwards you protect each other. It’s just you and her now of which as the older sister you are the mother now. Lungi, listen to your sister, she is older and will guide you through life just as much as you will guide her.

Lungi oh Lungi! I think you took your stubbornness from me honestly I don’t know how of all the things I gave you it was that. You have grown into a remarkable woman. I know I pushed you to get married always but that was my mistake. I feared that you will fail to see the value of companionship and not have your own kids. Children are the one thing in life that will guarantee you happiness no matter how bad they can turn out. I know what life would have been like where you not around and it’s a dark place. Your career is important I know but please follow my advice and have a child even alone if you have to. 10 years down the line you will thank me for this. Right now you might speak about the expenses of a child but reality is even people in mkhukhu’s have kids yet they are all living. A husband I will not force you to have but children, mark my words it’s the biggest investment you can ever make. As for your calling. That’s a decision only you can make. I am sorry I tried to stop that. I want you to know that I love you unconditionally whether you take the call or not. It does not define who you are; you will always be my daughter. Whoever judges you for it will not harm you because it will be your decision and yours alone? I love you with my actions not just my words. I will fight for you always.

The next part I don’t know if you will ever forgive me for. When you were younger you often asked what happened to your father and then one day you stopped. I don’t know why I allowed this to happen. I was ashamed to tell you and everything you believe about him is not true. Your father is not dead, he is alive. I have not seen him in over 20 years though. I left him the day he was convicted for the rape of three girls and I never looked back. I believe I should have told you the truth about him but I always told myself that you were too young to understand. Every time I wanted to tell you I reminded myself that he was not a good man and bad men do not deserve good children but I think as you got older you deserved to know. His name was or is Lameck Sandile Mbatha. I lost contact with him and I don’t know if he ever tried to find you. Lungi, you are the curious one! I can’t tell you what to do now since I am gone but I can guarantee you this, he is not a man worth finding so Lungi all I can do is beg you not to look for him. I am sorry I never told you about him but even now it’s hard to say I would have if given a second chance.

I wrote a WILL. There is box buried in the back garden it will tell you where to find the lawyer. It’s under the flower bed. You know me I don’t trust keeping important documents in the house. I love you my girls and leaving you behind like this is the last thing I ever wanted to do. I was not a perfect mother sometimes but I hope I made you proud.

Take care my beautiful daughters.

I love you always

Mum”

We sat in silence, as tears rolled down our cheeks. The letter was dated about a month before this. Had she known she was going to die or was she just being her dramatic self?

Thank you for patience. I am proud to say that there has been development. A broadcaster has officially with signed documents and funds released ordered Missteps of a Young Wife. I can’t mention their name right now as part of the marketing reasons but it will definitely be our first thing on TV. We have done well guys and I am beside myself right now. Congratulations to my partner in crime Thozama Mqikela for this as well because Lord knows we have struggled to get to this point.

As soon as I am at liberty to say I will tell you everything as the marketing will be linked to the blog and the Facebook page as well.

God Bless Us all but above all, God Bless you for supporting us.

Thank You

Mike

Good Morning Mike

please keep me Anon

i am in a 3 year relationship with this great guy, he has a daughter from a previous relationship unfortunately the mother passed on 8 years ago when the daughter was 2.
from the time we started dating i took that daughter as my own and everything was fine and rosy.
everything changed this year as my daughter”s grandmother started interfering in ways that i could never have imagined ..
1stly she started by demanding a car from my boyfriend saying it is for taking the child to see her mothers grave.
second demand was for him to renovate her house
3rd demand was for him to take her son to a private school
4rd demand was for him to give her money for groceries
the list is endless actually , ofcos her demands were not entertained because well they made no sense .
seeing that Mr guy is not doing all this things , she started turning my daughter against me , using her to lie to the father about me mistreating her. she has fed her so much that it has become impossible to live with this child.
she would ask for ridiculous things and when i say No she would behave like the world has turned against her .if she is with me for the weekend she would call 1000 times asking if she has eaten , have i cooked if not she would say she must report to her father
by luck my bf knows what type of the person she is and he always tries to descipline her but things are getting worse .
just last night , she sent a msg to him saying my Son ( 13) is sexually harassing her grandchild and in the voicenote you could hear her reminding her what to add.
i am tired now Mike i couldnt even sleep last night , i mean it was fine when she was attacking me because i could handle her and i knew it was because she thought i was blocking her gold mine but now she is attacking my son
what kind of a woman does that ?????
a part of me wants not to believe a person can be so devious she is so convincing in this things that I myself started questioning/ doubting my own son
Bf insists its all her stunts apparently she has done far more worse in his previous relationships.

Halala Mike no Thozama! May this just be the beginning of bigger better things to come. I wish you all the success in your endeavours. You’ve kept us glued to our phone and computer screens through reading and now we are likely to be glued to our television screens- YAY! does happy dance 💖💗💓

As for the lady going through the most may you find the relevant advice.

Well done Mike we never really appreciate your effort and it’s been years since you were with us. You deserve it and more you are one of a kind. May God bless you with many more… I am so proud of you guys

Congratulations bhuti Mike! May this venture be the beginning of many more
You guys should involve social workers to deal with this granny because she’s creating a negative relationship between father and child everything that she’s feeding the child will manifest when she’s an adult and granny will no longer be there. Imagine a 10 year old lying about all kinds of things. If she grows up believing it’s acceptable to lie about people and lie about sexual harassment from just 10 y/o, imagine when she’s older?

Congrats bhut Mike….woow , a break through FINALLY, a well deserved break through futhi….Congrats to you and Might Thozama ,lol!! Super duper psyched about these news 🙂 🙂

Haibo…uMagogo wenza njani na ngoku???? We will be crying and saying women are this and men are this….and yet the very people who are supposed to shaping us , guiding us are the ones feeding us rubbish and exposing us to such …..yeeerrr I don’t even have the right for it!! Good grief man , this woman is evil!! Uyandi caphukisa ….

But ke , Im with MissBeamza anonymous, you must get the social workers involved here! She cant be mentally destroying a child like this, for her own selfish gain ( for any reason for that matter)

I think over and above getting a social worker involved, you guys should try living with the child full time in order for her to be away from the negative influence of her grandmother, if she has a phone block her grans calls and texts without her knowledge to ensure that she’s not influencing this child. Having a child grow apart from their parents irrespective of how good or bad the grandparents are often has a negative impact on the childs relationship with their parents, i believe it is best to have your children under your roof where you can teach them morals, values and foster a better relationship with them.

We raised a kid the mum was always whispering rubbish to his ears
Today he is unemployable as she made him drop out of school
No one can live with him as he refuses to do any chores
Irresponsible with money as she taught him that his grant money is only for di kota
Untrustworthy as he lies like a sailor
All this whilst she was “living the life”of a non parent
Till today she does not take responsiblity of the damage she caused
I hope granny reads our letters
She is starting something that she wont finish.

Yey u go mike so happy for u!!! And can’t wait for missteps on tv! Yoh dis insert was a baggage is even feel heavy after reading it especially da letter. Aw bandla cn sumone tell me wer Jackzorro is mara it’s bin a while without seeing his comments

firstly i would say, go and foster this child so you are her legal guardian. then she permanently resides with you and your partner. in the meantime report the evil grandmother, because shes not helping u build a home. i would also like to encourage you to speak to your son, now would be appropriate to speak about the birds and the bees. because should this young girl and her grandmother go to the police your son might end up in trouble. i would also suggest family therapy for the four of you.

suggesting that you speak to him about the birds and the bees, is for u to be able to gage his knowledge of sex. also encouraging him to tell u about what he knows and what his curiosities are will enable u to ask if there ever was any kind of sexual contact between the two of them. communication will help build trust between u and your son. it also wouldn’t hurt to have the same talk with this young girl about what it is they are accusing, what she thinks it means and how he sexually harassed her