An escape

This week has been rough. I had a bit of a mini-breakdown for no reason other than my brain hates me and depression is an asshole. I’m not sure if I can say “asshole” on the Houston Chronicle but I think that if there was ever a time when it’s journalistically appropriate to say “asshole” it’s when describing the lying bastard that is mental illness.

Usually when I’m coming out of a depressive period I’m exhausted and I just watch a lot of tv and snuggle with Hailey while Victor reminds me that everything is okay and that I’m just crazy (which I suppose he thinks is comforting – and it kind of is, if I’m being honest about it.) This time, however, I decided to go back to my pre-Hailey days and pour all that messed up angst into creating irredeemable but blissfully mind-numbing art. And last night I finished these. They’re the two on the bottom left and right in temporary clipboards so the cats won’t walk on them and leave pigment all over the house. Also, the one on the right was only 3/4 finished when Ferris Mewler drug off the colors I needed and rolled them under the refrigerator so instead I just used some black ink to finish it off and decided to name it A Work In Progress. It felt right.

26 Responses

I like! Sometimes you just have to get your hands in some art supplies to get your head straight. I love photography but there are just some days that I have to haul out the paints and collage stuff to clear my mind

I love it, and mostly because you used color. Sometimes it can be hard to literally look at the bright side of things when you’re feeling a wee bit dark inside. But it’s in there…we just have to find a way to let it out. Rock on, sister friend!

Creating art as a way to deal with the pain reminds me of Vincent and the Doctor (Doctor Who… yes I can relate damn near anything through the Doctor) It’s beautiful. I truly love it. I shall have to keep some art therapy in mind the next time I’m feeling low.

68% of your depression probably comes from the fact that you know I am here eating all the Rosa’s, and you are eating at Barney’s Bait and Tacos. 57% of your depression comes from the fact that Victor is correct, and you are indeed just crazy. 14% of your depression comes from the fact that I’m so bad at math, so I got all the extra attention in 1986.

These are beautiful Jenny, just like you! They truly let your inner beauty shine. I write poetry when I’m depressed (which I’m terrible at). But it’s still so great to have an outlet! And it is such a treasure to turn the darkness of depression into something so beautiful.

You’re absolutely right about mental illness. I have OCD, GAD, anorexia, and panic disorder. I also have some physical health issues on top of these things. I have an eidetic memory. I am also a gifted writer and currently working on writing a book series, but writing isn’t just something I’m doing as a career choice, it serves so much purpose in my life, especially those moments when I need to escape, although if I had a child as cute as Hailey, I would probably choose snuggling with her over anything.

You did an amazing job on the pictures! I guess Ferris Mewler wanted a piece of the action. *lol*

Reading this blog and so many others on this subject matter, I wonder if people with mental illness are creative by default. It seems that many writers and artists have some form of mental illness. Any thoughts on this?

I like this art Jenny! I hope you take my comment the way I mean it – but I really think this art represents how I see you – even more than the floating girl print you shared right before you did the audio of your book.

This is bright, furiously bright, full of energy and life, fragmented and torn apart, but fighting like a demented operatically soulful weasel to put the pieces back together, and make a harmonious whole.

Jenny, your art is fantastic! It is incredible that you can do this when in the throes of depression. I envy you so. I’ve always wanted to have someone guide me through art therapy. Thanks for sharing.