“Value to you: Being a part of something amazing from its launch/inception through its international growth. As we grow, your opportunities and recognition will grow.”

TRANSLATION: Value? Who said anything about value? There is no value. Plenty of “potential.” And “international growth.” And, “as we grow:” recognition. Amazing. And don’t forget “opportunities.” But value? No, no value.

And this:

“In the beginning I won’t have the ability to pay you for your writing, however if we work well together I promise that this will become a paying gig within as short a timeframe as I can manage. I do value your time and your talent. I will also try and become a helpful resource for you for finding other paying writing jobs, as you can use me as your reference and portfolio.”

TRANSLATION: In the beginning, God created “helpful resources” like references and portfolios. Thousands of years later the minimum wage is still controversial. God certainly values your time and talent, so enjoy a piece of this delicious helpful resource while you wait. God will get back to you “within as short a time-frame as I can manage.” God out.

And this:

“Unfortunately, this is not a paid gig. I know you’re thinking that sucks and I’m aware that it does. I wrote for free for years before I got a paid gig. But I promise you will have your work put on the site if it’s up to snuff, and I will work with you to make it the best it can possibly be. Also, if and when the site becomes profitable and I do hire permanent staff I will be choosing from the pool of people who have already worked with me so this could be an opportunity.”

TRANSLATION: Unfortunately, I will work with you to make sure you don’t get paid.