Now, I’m not entirely sure what Mr. Wright was going for — or perhaps looking for, I guess. At times his analysis seems quite pertinent, but then, without warning, you’re greeted with something likable to the pitch of an ad that’s likely sitting in your spam folder right now.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not trying to be critical. This approach certainly made for probably the most compelling feature on a Senior Bowl weigh-in I’ve ever read. It just, you know, also happened to be one of the most WTF inducing as well.

Things start off relatively innocently. Take FSU QB Christian Ponder’s “note“: Great definition with a six-pack.

Well, if it ended there, I wouldn’t be frumping this post right now. As you’ll see after the jump, things began to spiral rapidly — and progressively — out of control as Draft Countdown went through the position groups…

The Running Backs were next, but let’s just say their presentation must have done little to arouse Scott’s interest and/or ire.

Things got back on track with the Wide Receivers, though, starting with Abeline Christian’s Edmund Gates:

All caps and an explanation point? I could almost hear Scott squealing with delight from our lavish Raleigh headquarters.

Oh, and when the Draft guru wasn’t fawning over the body art of lean, long, and tone WR specimens, well, he had a tendency to be downright mean. For instance, describing Boise State’s Titus Young as “[t]hin with no definition. Goofy gait. Small chicken-like legs.“

FSU's Rodney Hudson, after reading his Senior Bowl weigh-in note

Relative to some of the Offensive Lineman, however, Titus got off easy.

Florida State’s Rodney Hudson could very well have been brought to tears by his note: Squatty with thick midsection and manboobs.

Scott wasn’t all negative, though. He actually had plenty of positive things to say about this position group, however odd.

California’s Cameron Jordan apparently had “broad shoulders with long arms,” and was “just BIG.” Incidentally, Jordan may have also won this year’s Mr. Banana Hands award, sporting the largest paws at 11 1/4″. So that’s nice.

I swear this is the first image that pops up for "Allen Bailey" in a Google image search...

In fact, Mr. Wright may have found his namesake, of sorts, when Miami’s Allen Bailey trotted out on stage: “Adonis. Incredibly long arms.”

Apparently, Purdue’s Ryan Kerriga was also quite a specimen: “Well defined and very muscular. Abs!” WTF?

Ian Williams: Maybe we could just call it a prominent seat?

The Fighting Irish’s Ian Williams elicited a somewhat more ambivalent review, but I suppose that’s not all that surprising: “Fireplug who is thick and solid with bubble butt.” A lot of “bubble butts” were on display from what I could gather.

Colin McCarthy: Awfully Unimpressive

Next up were the Linebackers, but the only one of particularly awkward note was Miami’s Colin McCarthy, who was described as “SOFT” and “[a]wfully unimpressive.”

Based on what I’d read up to this point, and McCarthy’s pic, I found such negativity from Mr. Wright rather shocking, but whatever.

Draft Countdown was back in good spirits for the Defensive Backs — or what I’m terming the “Abs-solutely Fabulous Six-Pack Spectacular”…