SMOKE NIGHT. The members of the Werribee Coursing Club held their second smoke night on the 29th ult. in the Mechanics' Hall. The at tendance was a large one. Mr. Jas. Browne, J.P., president of the.club, presided. - After the. usual loyal toasts had been dealt with' Mr. Ozanne, ' M.P.. proposed " The Werribee. Coursing Club," stating that he had felt highly honored at being called-upon to propole the toast. He had attended onde of their coursing gatherings and'enjoyed it.. Werribee was a sporting centre. He had beei a resident of the district for 14 years and had-taken part in some of their :cricket :and 'football' matches. ribeecoul: hold its own:.in any :br , tdils: trict. contained the: leading trap Shots, good -trotting lihorses, "and some of the fleetest greyhounds in ' the State. Werribee had many advantages over other centres-of. population in having good -roads and cheap freights. The coursing club was in a good 'financial position having within a £100 to its credit iii the...

SADRIFT ON -THE BAY. A most uncomfortable Iadventure on- the tay,; from 'whichi h, w;s fortunate' to esocapn-.with his lifo, oefell' Oharlehs- Abrnmos, a well. known \Vterrihee resillentd , on-Tues. lay night. Ahlrtme, 'who is 70 years of ige. tas blown awayl from the shore in a 14-ftr.flat bottomed boat in the evening, nnd tlrifting about withlllot padtdl all iight at 'the inrcy of tiho wind and waves,. ,h finally lraoghlt op at the Gellibrand pi!e light, where in an oxhanstcd condition hIe was rescued frolu his boat by the light keeper. Tihe episode reosnlted from the purclhase orfn now hoIlt. Ahrnmen, had the flat bottomed'fishing dinghy built at \Villiamslown, and sanilet ilown to WVorrihee with the dinghy in tow. After reaching his destina tion on Tuetldny aftleroon, Ahrames went sthore, andn hail n light meal wilth his wife, He then went to look to the moorings of his yacht, and after making everytlling shiplthaitt, proceeded to examine the new din?ghy, which he had left drawn...

SOMElTHING WHONG. The people didn't merely look at. Professor llranucfag-they stared. le knew he was absent-minded at times, and be wondered whether he had rab lel his face with boot-polish instead of cold cream after he had shaved, or whether he had forgotten to change his dresslng-gown for his frock-coat. But a kind policeman put things right. "Are you aware, sir, that you are carrying a joint of beef in your arms ?" he asked. "Goodness me," said the professor. "I knew something was wrong. My wife told me to put her Sunday hat on the bed, to place this joint in the oven, and to take the baby and dog out for a walk." "You've not pat the baby n..a4i oven, surely?"' said thodlaw?s' - "I put something in it," said the professor; "but I don't know whether it was the baby or the dog, constable." With hated breath they hurried to the house. Here, on the bed, lay the baby and the dog, but it was Just rts bad for iranefag. It was his wife's Sundav liht that was in the even.

THE McNAUGHTON... - TESTI S MONIAL. At a public meeting held on the 25thl inst. in the Werribee Shire Hall, for the- purpose of taking steps to recognise the services of ex-Cr. McNaughton. as a councillor of this shire for over 31 years, it was decided to present him with an. illustrated address and a purse of sovereigns; A large committee.was formed. Cr. Beamish, Presidenit of the Shire; presided. Mr. Hamilton Sinclair was ap pointed hon. secretary and trea surer ?f the' movement. l.The following were appointed to epllect subscriptions::. Cr. Browne and Mr. A. J. McDonald-cfor Geelong road and Metro. Farm. Cr. Shaw and Mr. A. Drysdale, Little River. Cra. MlcMurray and Johnson,: North Riding. Cr. Robinson, Truganina and L?averton. Cr.. Sexton, parish of 'ut-paw t Xrs.crnb n d-rrroup, township.

STIITJ EQUALt TO IT. A certain man, the size of whose family is a standing joke among his friends, lihas a story to offent any. Jokes that may he thrust at him shout his offspring. He tells of tihe census-taker who, in, the coursa of his calls, cnme to a tenement that was literally crowded with yonnRgsers. Enid he to the Indy who was hending over the washtiub : "Madam, I amt the censnu-taker. Hlow many children have you ?" "LIemme see," Bnld the wonln, straightening up and wiping her ihands on her apron. "'There's Flor ence, and Mary, andi Angelinlo and Lucy and Charlle and Boib Hnd Willie and Hornce and Jim and-" She pnausled for tIreath. "Madanrtnm," said the ccnrius-man, "if you coild jlut give me the niiiibl'tr-" "Number I" she replied, indidgnant ly. "We nin't got to numhering 'em yet; we nin't run out o' ntamu !"

.WERRIBEE lTENNIS CLUB.. i "-- 1 On Saturday last a team from the Metro. Farm played a .match agtainst. Werribee B, and after a t close co'itest proved victorious by e tliree gamnes. Werribee A journeyed b 'to - Little. River and defeated that club by a set and two gam,,s. On Salturday" next a team from Wil- C lianmstown Central Club will meet .p Werribee. The Club is indebted to lMr. W. Baker for presentintg them e with an umpire's seat, this r was a much needed want, and is a greatly. appreciatedl. ir V. Austin v was presented with a .handsome silver supper dish as a wedding gift. The following team has been se-: l Ihcted for Saturday. Mrs. Currie, 7 Misses Grigg, McDonald and Rowan, Rev. L. Cecil,. Messrs tc Baker, Calder and Walker. Emer- it gencies, Mrs. Troup, Miss S. s, Currie, Messrs Gosney and Kendall.

HUMOUR. WHAT HE DIDN'T DO. "Well, Tommy," said father, as his young hopeful returned from school, "what's the matter ? Your eyes look, very red." Little Tommy hung his head shame facedly. "Come, now, sonny, speak up I Do what father says," said his fond ma. "I have been thrashed," said Tom, "for something I didn't do." "What a shame I" exclaimed his parents in chorlls. 'FHow very unfair. What was it, old chap ?" "A sum," came the brief reply. She : "Don't you think it is easier to coax a woman than to drive her?'+ He: "Oan't say ; but I think it's a great deal safer." One of the judges in the Wild West, who was also a deacon, was about to perform a marringe ceremony in. America. "Madam," lie said, addressing the bride, "do you agree to take Mr. Z. for your wedded husband 7" And after the lady had replied' in the nafirmative tile judge, turning to the bridegroom, delivered hiLselL .A' "P'rioner at the bar, what have I.n toey Ii vnur defence ?"

WERtIB13EE COUR?I1NG ULUB. The annlal meeting of the Wer rihee coursing olub will be held in Ihe mechanics' reading room to norrow (Friday) evening at 8, o'clock. All members and intend nig members are reglnested. to atlolld Tho melnber's fee hlau biozn fixed it the smtle figlre us last year, viz., lOs. "As thu establislimnent of a tocal plumlti n i'-assnitred, the list f of members shl~ohl I,obe satnti lly inerensedl. I T'he debenttie .nro re woing off well, great interest oing;h : shown by the business people. Phis is inly na it shouldl be, as the Dtlnmpton will he time means of b:ringing hnndrodsl of visitors to the m tqwl dilrilng the seatsonl" anltl,the r good'effedeC' will be- felt- hy -ev'ery Ione sitter - dirmetly or inllHrectly:

Scovell and Spurling, THIE CORNER, F 0' £80ýRAY, Have landed a lovely stock 'of NEW SPRING GOODS. SPRING:--SUITINGS from? 42s. Slw-PB' =BOXERS. : ? .. FASHION SHIRTS in 20 different styles. SWEATERS to button close at neck. S. TENNIS SHIRTS for warm weather. TIES, SOCKS, BRACES, and everything a man wants to wear at T"?E RIGHT PRICE. 1,500 Ties at 9d., worth 1s. and is 6d., to prove we are' TH?-E TIE3 ]:KIrNNG=S. The Racecourse Hotel. WERRIBEE. I IRST-OLASS-Accomodation for Travellers and Visitors at this Old established Hotel, which is replete with every convenience, and the many facilities offered therein for the comfort of the General Public will be duly appreciated. The choiceet and best brands of Wines, Ales and Spirits are kept atthis litablishment. 4,. FISHING AND SHOOTING. BUGGIES AND HORSES ON HIRE M. A. DIXON, Proprietress. LEADS THE WAY FOR Quality, Purity and Germination. Horticultural Sundries : Our Great Speciality---LUCR. : WALL'S HOTEL, (NEAR RAILWAY STATION) Spy ......

MAULTRICGE GtRAU'S UIJA-1. SMATIC COMPANY. . .The people of 'Werribee and surrounding-'district are having ai 'treat. The .'Maurice Gerald. Compahy, who seldom play in small towns, are amongst us.. On Saturday evening last Mr. Gerald -:produced Con, the Shaughraun to a full house. Long before 8 o'clock vehicles fromnall quarters were seen,. not minding the dust, wending' their way to the Mechanics' Hall to see Conn~---and they were not disappointed. No finer perform ance has over been seen in Wer ribee. Maurice is a host in him self-and kept:the audience in a. simmer of amusement from. his first entrance To-morrow even ing, Friday, February 7th, Mr. Gerald' and .his company will produce Bland Holt's great play, . Alone in London"'

THE Wlrribee Sbire Battnr.: WERRIIBEE, THURSDAY, FEBr 6; 0 "The Banner" will be published on Wednesday next instead of on Thursday. Advertisers please l note. d .We. are reluctantly compelled to hold over some reports. St Joseph's Convent, Werribee, c ,will be blessed and opened about four o'clock, on Sunday afternoon n not the intention to. issue invita tions, but the public: will lbe welcomed.. .The Werribee .farmers'- picnic committee have arranged for: a Punch and Judy shpiv at Morn ington on Thursday next, the date of the annual outing' This new departure from. the' usual lpro- I gramme will be hailed with:.ple: sure by the rising generation.. " Alone in London." The rates are not coming in as quickly as they should do: If ratepayeis paid up when they, received their notices there would be no overdraft. Clearing sale season -is in. Run your eye over our advertising columns and make a note of the date. . The annual meeting of sub scribers to the Metropolitan Farm, Mechanics' Ins...

GENERAL BUSINESS. - Or. Beamish moved, .that tenders be called tor clearing continuation of Edgar's read, Seconded by Or. Shaw. Or Johnson moved, that tenders be called for three small woraks at Wattle Park. Secondqd by Or Moeurray. The motion was lost. On ,the motion of Ci. Bayley. seconded by Or. Canny, ,that the Health Officer's op?iion'i ' be ob tained on the advisability.of poison ing" rats and burniing their car cases. Cr. Johnson moved, seconded by Cr. Volant, that nioticei' be posted waring people from. cuttiig down trees on Cobblodick's reserve. Or -Beainish moved, fthat, one councillor from each riding COrs Canphy McMurray, _Trop and Browne waitt upon thie Otairman of the.Matropolitan B ard of Works re Approaching the= GoQid' ment to ask for a granti wards heiTFrun road. .

THi BE~TTFR WAY,, The bedtime hour was at hand, but after the usual preparations for the night Violet hesitated, over her pray era After a moment's silence she said : "Mummy, dear, arc our prayers answered 7" "Why, yes, dear," replied manims. "But what a question, dear." "I asked because, if they are, why do you smack me,? Why don't you pray for me to be a good girl ? It would be much nicer," 1860.

NO COMPARISON. Rector : "Those pigs of yours are in n fine condition, Hodge." Hodge : "Yes, utir, they be. Ah sor, if we was all on is on'y an fit to die as them are, we'd do." She : "The Rev. Dr. Dreary is some. thing of a faith' healer, you knowr. I am thinking of at-tending his church. for my rheumatism." He : "I can recommend him for ina somniln."