bad luck

Bad luck, misfortune, unfortunate occurrences, unfavourable outcomes, whatever you call it, almost everyone has cursed it at some point. As if Fate or some random deity has suddenly tripped you and laughed, we point our frustrations outwards, to an intangible source.

Bad luck is when something is left up to chance and turns out unfortunately. What makes it worse luck is a mix of the outcome and the unlikeliness of it happening. For instance, buying a lottery ticket and not winning isn't really bad luck, since you were unlikely to win in the first place. But if you end up in that sitcom situation, where you've been buying the same numbers for the lottery for 20+ years and the one time you don't, those numbers win, that's really bad luck.

Or, to take a real-life example: if you get in a car crash through no fault of your own, that's bad luck. And if you suffer a head injury, and the machine needed to treat your injury is broken, that's pretty bad luck. But if the reason the machine is broken is that the parts it needed were being delivered, by you, before you got in an accident, that's really horrible bad luck. The worst luck seems to carry some sort of irony.

Well, if you’re leaving things up to chance and don’t want to take any unnecessary risks, just reference this handy-dandy list and you should be able to sway the universe to your favour. (That’s the point, isn’t it?)

The Cause: Perhaps the most well known form of bad luck, the evil eye is usually credited to envious glances. Some people even consider the evil eye a sort of punishment for “excessive beauty” or pride. The evil eye can be cast on people, but it is usually thought to be accidental. Because the evil eye is caused by pride or jealousy, some cultures are careful not to praise children too much, lest it attract the “hairy eyeball”. Some parents will even speak badly of their children to counteract it.

The Cure: Besides insulting everyone you love and admire, there are other measures to avoid this aura-sapping gaze:

The “Horned Hand” or “Fig Hand”.
The Mano Cornufo or “Horned Hand” involves extending the first and index fingers from a fist. The Mano Fico or “Fig hand” involves placing the thumb in between first and second fingers.

Developed in Italy, you can test whether you have the evil eye by dripping oil into water. If the oil shapes an eye, you’re cursed. Not to worry, though, just pray and chant until the oil no longer looks like an eye.

Ukraine detection method: drip wax from a candle into water. If it forms a ball at the bottom of the vessel, you’re not cursed. But if it “spits, splatters, or sticks to the side of the bowl”, you are. Cleanse with Holy Water and repeat until wax reveals you aren’t cursed.

Another not-so-pleasant cure is to have the evil-eye-caster spit into water, and have the victim drink it. Kind of adding insult to injury, isn’t it?

In Mexico, a raw egg holds the answer. By rolling an egg over the victim, or having them sleep with a raw egg under their pillow (not sure how well that would actually work), a healer can see whether they are truly cursed or not. If they can “divine” an eye in the yolk, the victim is cursed. More raw eggs are rolled until this is no longer the case and they are cured.

Chinese cure: Now this might be my favourite one. By hanging a six-sided mirror on your door, you can deflect the evil eye onto your neighbours. But, of course, they might have thought of the same thing and got their own mirror. That means you will have to resort to elaborate mirror-angling evil-eye wars! Buah ha ha!

In India, the same mirror-logic is used, except that small mirrors are embedded in clothing.

Another Indian cure is to wear heavy, black eye makeup, not only to avoid getting the evil eye, but also to avoid inadvertently giving it. (Good excuse if your parents don’t want you to wear eyeliner, too. Not that they’d fall for it, but it’s worth a try.)

Don’t believe in the evil eye. If you don’t believe that the evil eye can hurt you, it probably won’t. But if you feel like it is disturbing you, press your thumb against your forehead and envision your third eye quickly flipping. Then flick away the energy with your thumb and snap your fingers. Voila, cured.

The Cause: Friday may be your favourite day of the week, but many find it to be quite unlucky. British traditions dictated that hangings generally take place on a Friday. And the Bible says that Jesus Christ’s death, the Great Flood, and the incident at the Tower of Babel all took place on a Friday, as well as Eve’s temptation of Adam with the apple.

The Cause: A Norse myth involves 12 demi-gods being joined by a malicious thirteenth, who wrecks havoc on the party, assisting the killing of the god of joy and gladness.

Judas, the betrayer of Christ, is famously known as being the thirteenth guest to the last supper.

Witches gathered in groups of twelve in ancient Rome. The thirteenth? The Devil.

When public hanging were common, there were thirteen stairs before the noose. Traditionally there were also thirteen loops in a noose.

12 is known as a complete number by numerologists. (12 months in a year, 12 signs of the zodiac, 12 gods of Olympus, 12 labours of Hercules, 12 tribes of Israel, and 12 apostles of Jesus.) One more than complete can’t be good luck.

The Cause: Obviously, when combining the above two bad luck causes, you end up with even more misfortune. To top is off, the Knights Templar were caught on a Friday the thirteenth, in 1306. King Phillip of France arrested and tortured them on this day.

The Cure: Again, caution is key. If you can’t avoid it, at least try and load up on good luck to even it out.

Red and white flowers

The Cause: Especially when planning a wedding or bouquet for a hospital, avoid the combination of red and white flowers. They bring bad luck and symbolize blood and bandages, which probably isn’t what you’re going for. Oh, and it also might bring death.

The Cure: Oh, for Fate’s sake, people. Don’t do it! Avoid it! Like I said.

Black cats (crossing your path)

The Cause: The belief that black cats are bad luck probably began during the Black Plague. Black cats, which could slip around unseen in the night, were thought of as agents of the devil. Some cats were even hung after being put on trial for being witches. Black cats were systematically killed all across England to ward off the curses of the devil. (Ironically, this helped the Black Plague, since cats no longer threatened the rats carrying the fleas, which in turn carried the plague.) Having a black cat cross your path means the devil’s gaze is on you.

The Goddess Bast in ancient Egypt was a black cat. When Christians were trying to do away with other religions, they preached that these cats were demons that needed to be destroyed. Of course, the sweet old ladies taking care of the cats were killed, too. What? They were witches! ...

Spilling salt

The Cause: Salt was once very expensive. Spilling it, of course, was a very bad thing. It is also said that Judas spilled his salt at the Last Supper.

Spilling the salt and pepper at the same time is doubly unlucky. (Spilling pepper is supposed to mean you will have an argument with a friend.) Maybe there’s a good reason your mother told you to keep your elbows off the table!

The Cure: None known. Avoidance is the only answer. (And good luck charms, of course.)

Breaking a mirror (brings 7 years bad luck)

The Cause:

There are two theories for why breaking a mirror brings 7 years bad luck. One is that the gods communicate through mirrors, and if it breaks, the gods don’t want you to see the bad luck in your future!

The other theory is that breaking a mirror, in effect, shatters the soul. The soul is so hurt by this, that it demands 7 years bad luck in payment. The first makers of glass mirrors, the Romans, believed that life was renewed every 7 years, like being born again. This was why after 7 years, you’re off the hook.

Miscellaneous bad luck (alphabetical for your convenience):

Brooms

When moving to a new house, don’t bring your old broom, or it’s bad luck. Buy a new one. (Cheapskate.)

Don’t hit people with brooms, it makes them lazy... but you probably shouldn’t be doing that anyways.

Leaning a broom against a bed will cause the evil spirits in the broom to cast a spell on the bed and the person who sleeps there may die. (Don’t ask why evil spirits would want to possess a broom. They just do.)

Butterflies

Oh, but don’t think you should kill them, either. Bad luck will haunt you for an entire year if you do. (You just can’t win!)

Cats

(Yes, yes, black cats. It’s already been mentioned. But also...) If a cat washes its face by rubbing its paws over its entire head, rain will follow.

A cat sitting with its back to the fire is a bad sign. It means frost is coming.

If a cat on a ship is unusually playful, a storm will follow.

If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times, stop killing things! If you kill a cat, your cattle will die. (... You could have cattle. You don’t know.)

If a cat leaps over a corpse and then leaps at you, you’ll go blind. So tidy up those corpses lying around the house, cat-owners! Oh, or the corpse will turn into a vampire. In either case, the cure is... kill the cat? Hm... looks like murder is sometimes the answer.

If you leave a cat alone with a baby, the cat will smell the milk on the baby’s breath and SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF IT. So, uh... don’t do it.

Cutlery

If you cross your knives, accidentally or on purpose, an argument will follow.

Ink

Ladybugs (the death of)

Because ladybugs are generally good luck and bring wealth, killing them brings bad luck. Simple enough. You shouldn’t go around killing things ‘cause they’re smaller than you anyways. Remember the sparrows?

Left foot

Don’t step over a threshold with your left foot. Footmen were originally hired just to prevent it, that’s how unlucky it is.