Testing ... Testing ... Babies

Written by Isikins on March 5th 2009

A summation of the new age: An age that will make Aldous Huxley mad with super rage ... and testing the nifty image bay on for the articles.

I made quite the discovery this week, and by discovery I actually mean that I had woken up to a Fox 40 Sacramento news report about making babies. No, not the actual act itself ... heh, as if I needed any advice from the morning news on how to make babies for long periods of time, heh, and ... like please a woman, and stuff ... heh ...Heh. I suppose it was worth waking up at 4:50 in the morning, realizing that a group of beautiful women are trying to talk to me, and not ignoring me like they usually do, and think that I'm weird, and all that awesome stuff. Nothing like crazy beautiful women to wake you up in the morning and tell you about the world that you aren't exactly interested in.

What did strike my interests, though, was the question posed for that morning. The question was "What is your opinion on custom made babies?" Something similar to that. Before actually answering the question, it's time for an update on the actual custom making baby guild all by itself ... and I encourage whatever facts are skewed here to promptly be corrected in our nice little comment section. So, without further ado, it appears that we have now reached a point in our technological advances that scientists can now make babies with attributes that you, the parent, would like. Lucky for you, it doesn't involve cheating on your fat husband, even though everyone knows you are just dying for an excuse. The report claimed that scientists have found a way to manipulate stem cells in order to give a baby specific attributes like boy, girl, green eyes, blue eyes, or purse lips, or dimples, and cute ears, things like that. There has been a sort of uproar (uproar in the sense of a small 'bop' from an unheard colony spec strategically left on a coliflouer) throughout the United States about playing God, and leaving such decisions up to whatever random acts of genome activity may occur during a pregnancy.

First and foremost, if I have my facts straight, I want to know what you think. See, I would like to think that my silly blog serves a couple of purposes. A. To score a cheap laugh all the time, and B. To make people think about the laugh they so long for through cheap practices. If I'm not getting one across, I can always go for the other, and fiercely apologize to Rawrb when the other isn't option A. I am just that kind of person, and it's not like I'm reporting anything electrifying. Trust me, I'd love to write an article on how the prophecies in Final Fantasy X have become terrifyingly true, and an enormous entity that looks to be the spawn of a blue whale and Godzilla has been inhabited by the superantichrist and now wreaks havoc upon the land as punishment for our use of the forbidden machina. Like I said, I want to know what you think, and all points of views are welcome. Is it good? Is it too much power? Is it a power that is progressively pointless? Is it a power we can harness just because we can? Should a mixbreed sea-bound behemoth spawn from the murks of the sultry abyss and wreak distruction upon the unsilenced masses?

Second, my thoughts ... I think it's dumb. We're not talking dumb in the 'ha ha, listen to that idiot fart through the microphone at Bell Park in San Francisco during a baseball game' sense, I mean dumb as in ... a practice that serves no other purpose than to simply exist and take up space. I don't have any ethical or moral stances against playing with our beloved stem cells, and I think that stem cells can be put to some very good use, but that is a whole other conversation not suited for good old pluh.com. When I heard that Doctors want to use stem cells for custom made babies, a little piece of me died. There is a difference between progress, and wasting time, and to me this just seems like another side trek of pointless exploration and research that could be used on several other things. I understand the validity of knowing WHY we have blue eyes and WHY we are the sex that we are, but I don't understand why we feel the need to go play with it. In short, I don't believe that there is anything ethically wrong with manipulating the stem cells, I just think that our scientists could be using their very, very expensive resources in order to solve a plethora of problems that have nothing to do with how we're gonna pop out.

It's like walking through the Museum of Natural History and wanting to climb into the skeletal belly of a dead mammoth just to see what it's like to be trapped in a reanimated mammoth roaming the streets, terrorizing the children. It'd be like unleashing colonies upon colonies of wasps in Federal Hall just to see everyone get scared of something other than our downward spiraling economy ... and also to take pictures. Pointless practices of self-indulgence is really what it's all about here. It's not like they're trying to use them for the greater good of humanity, they're just playing around with it as though they were creating the scar tissue that a human being will have to live with in the next 100 hours of gameplay ... from Fallout 3. I suppose there could be some valid argument in understanding that your son or daughter is going to end up being a sociopathic serial killer and, as long as they're fuckin' everyone else up, they might as well have a mug shot that does them justice ... and everyone knows that love is stronger than justice. Haaaaaa ...

So, in all, I think it is a very, very pointless endeavor that really doesn't make much more sense than acting out irrationally on a public forum, or writing an article about stem cell manipulation on a blogosphere that talks about what sex would sound like if it were a musical genre. Honestly, I don't even know why it would make the news. Here is how I would envision the news of that day if, God forbid, I ever became a news anchor:

Attractive Female News Anchor: Well, looking at the weather in other parts of the country, it appears that the sun is shining in Seattle. The Story: Who pissed off Anubis, and why? But first, let's toss the inserted generic, subject shifting toss-over term to Isikins for an odd story.

Me: Thank you very much Unannounced Modelesque Co-Anchor - There have been reports about scientists now finding new ways to custom make your baby, and some how completely forgetting that we still have no known cure for AIDS or Cancer.

In all honesty, I took a sort of Journalism class in High School and I discovered that the medium wasn't for me. I actually enjoy making things up, and telling jokes about the things I make up all by myself.

But I want to know what you think of this seemingly ripped-off plot scenario first found in Aldous Huxley's 'Brave New World,' written before anyone would ever find out that technological American Progress would come to a near standstill after the secret war with the Legion of Doom.

Also ... what dost thou thinks of thine baby picture?

Rating

Category

Comment

Rating

Progression

Perhaps in the sense of discovery ... but now we have discovered it. Moving on?

2

Dumbness Level

Quite dumb in that it really holds no bearing to any scientific progress.

3

Laugh Level

Depends on how you look at ... those ... pseudo-intellectuals.

5

Boredom Fix-ness

An absolute must. BORING!

4

Creativity

I'll give them a 4 on creativity ... but why? We've been creating babies for so many years!