Thursday, 6 June 2013

Incorporating the 18 obsolete words from the article by Carmel Lobello in Death and Taxes online magazine, available at: http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/195348/18-obsolete-words-which-should-have-never-gone-out-of-style/Thou bookwright! Honest worker thou art not!No soda-squirt all day upon his feet!No curglaff wakes thee to thy morning’s draft,but gently into day sat on thy arse.Spermologer, beef-witted in thy writthat renders englishable witless phraseand jirbles tyromancy on thy page.Thou groakest at the world without true bitein pussyvan at resistentialism.A queerplunger doth labour more than thou, thou sloth in lunting slouch! Get thee a trade!Support thy snoutfair wonder-wench with squirrel,that zafty california widow whoinspires thy drivel! Get thee honest work!

GLOSSARYbeef-witted:
Having an inactive brain from eating too much beef. bookwright:
An author; a term of slight contempt.California widow:
A wife whose husband is away for any extended period. curglaff:
The shock felt when one first plunges into the cold water. englishable:
That which may be rendered into Englishgroak:
To silently watch someone eating, hoping to be invited to join them. jirble:
To pour a liquid with an unsteady hand.lunting:
Walking while smoking a pipe.pussyvan:
A flurry, temper.queerplungers:
Con-artists, scammers.resistentialism:
Seemingly spiteful behavior shown by inanimate objects.snoutfair:
A person with a handsome countenance.soda-squirt:
One who works at a soda fountain in New Mexicospermologer:
A picker-up of trivia, a gossip monger.tyromancy:
Superstition of divining by the coagulation of cheese.with
squirrel: Pregnant.wonder-wench:
A sweetheart.zafty:
A person very easily imposed upon

Friday, 12 April 2013

(on the resurgence of the song 'Ding, dong, the witch is dead' on the death of Margaret Hilda Thatcher, 1925-2013)

So those in power want to ban the song.
They feel the water lap around their boots.
This time it’s someone else. It won’t be long
Before it’s their turn knee deep in the sluice.
Ding dong, the doorbell rings. Who’s at the door?
Let’s hope it’s not those badly mannered poor
With their demands of equal this and that.
God help us, now the ship deserts the rat.
The witch is dead and tap, tap here’s the wake
With fire in their eyes to light the stake.
The crone is gone, but here’s her legacy,
A world of ‘trickle up’ economy.
The wicker woman waits upon the hill
If you won’t light the kindle then they will.