7 Ways Not to Get a Drink From a Bartender with Skylar Gardell-Gross

Skylar. Photo: Gig Shack

Just from being on the scene, we know how heavy it can get to be the one of two or three people in charge when dealing with a seasonal influx of folks that believe in on-demand boozing. With the summer coming to an end, we hit up Skylar Gardell-Gross — lead bartender and cat-apparel-aficionado over at Gig Shack — and asked him to lay down the law and give us some tips on things to avoid when thirsty at the bar with money in hand.

NOTE: The following came to us in the heat of the moment—as Labor Day Weekend and all its crowded glory struck the bar.

Asking why you can’t get a mojito after I told you I have no mint.

I’m not a phone charger. Charge it at home, it’s not my problem.

Don’t tell me how to make your drink because you’re a bartender. If you were that good, you would have your own bar. If you ask me to make you a drink, let me make it.

Yelling, “Yo bro let me get a drink!” when you don’t know my name, or me at all.

Stop ordering dumb drinks. It’s not the 60’s—nobody drinks Negronis or Rusty Nails anymore, and a greyhound is actually a vodka grapefruit. Order what you want, don’t just spit out fancy names. And don’t get your kids virgin margaritas. It’s lime juice and soda—get a sprite.

If I’m busy, tough shit. I’ll help you as soon as I can. But don’t be mad if I serve myself first.

Yes, all I wear is cat shirts and I don’t have time for you to take a pic of my shirt I’m at work. Unless it quiet, then… sure.