Kim Kardashian Reveals the Varied Fates of Her Family's Pets

While Miley Cyrus has devoted an entire album to her late pets (aptly named—wait for it—Dead Petz), Kim Kardashian is choosing a less sentimental route, recounting the stories of her family's many early-aughts accessory dogs with LOLs...and basically not much else.

"My fam has had SO many pets over the years, from dogs to rabbits and even a peacock named Peter Pan, LOL," the haircut fakerwrote in a new post on her website Wednesday. "The funniest thing is, I'm not the biggest animal person; sure, I love cute fluffy kittens but I don't die to constantly have a pet." Which is why North, whom Kardashian says is desperate for a furry companion, must settle for a fish tank instead.

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Jun 15, 2016 at 8:36pm PDT

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Kardashian then recalls a litany of lap dogs, which, with the past-tense descriptions, reads kind of like that scene in The Incredibles where all the superheroes' photos pop up with "terminated." There's Kendall's Great Dane Blu "who literally pooped everywhere," a Chihuahua named Dolce, and her late father's three Dobermans.

She doesn't go into many specifics, but it's a comfort to know that all dogs go to heaven.