I said No: Victim Blaming in Sexual Assault/Rape

Rape and sexual assault are taboos that persist in punishing the victim rather than the attacker themselves. When being questioned about someone’s assault, a victim feels the dirtiness and distastefulness of being a victim rather than a survivor. When scavenging the internet, I learned that more people, both men and women, were being blamed for being raped as opposed to blaming the rapist for taking away someone’s dignity and scarring them for life. Think about what’s worse: Wearing a tee-shirt and jeans drinking club soda, or a mini skirt and tank-top drinking a cosmopolitan?

Obviously, most people who are ignorant to the idea of rape culture would assume that the woman wearing a mini skirt and drinking alcohol would be more likely to be raped. This is clearly a misconception, because anyone can be attacked despite who they are, what they are wearing, and what they might be drinking. Victim blaming is more common than we may think and being raped does not by any means make you a whore or a slut. One who is the victim of a completed rape becomes a survivor.

This particular blog I found states the obvious. If people focused more on blaming the monstrous attacker rather than the “shameful” victim, then we would have a clearer idea about how the victim may feel. 1 in 6 American women have been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. Sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience and should be used to connect intimately with a romantic partner, and not used as a demeaning and harmful weapon. Rape is completely about dominance and overpowering someone who may or may not be considered weak. Victims of any sort of assault have a monologue of “I shouldn’t have worn that sexy dress” or “I shouldn’t have been alone with him/her” because it is normal to feel the blame because someone took advantage of them.

However, no rapist rapes by accident. Only one person makes the choice to rape. We can do things to protect ourselves from a potential rape or sexual assault case, but the one person alone that can prevent rape is the rapist themselves. Humans have the right to go out for a walk, wear whatever they want, drink alcohol and trust the people they’re around. Bad decisions or not, rape should never occur and neither should victim shaming. Not every choice we make will be the good one, but we have the right to make certain choices without anticipating someone taking advantage and attacking us.

As someone who has been sexually assaulted – I wore a black “Avenged Sevenfold” band tee-shirt, blue Hollister skinny jeans, and sneakers and was alone with somebody I trusted. I didn’t ask for it, and neither did you.