A path that leads to releasing what impedes…

Can’t conceal my blood tinged tears: Suicide Prevention Month

In addition to Sickle Cell Awareness, September is also Suicide Awareness Month and today is the beginning of Suicide Prevention Week.

Suicide is not a topic most want to discuss. It makes us uncomfortable. It brings up so many conflicting thoughts: anger, shame, blame, frustration, guilt, hurt, sadness just to name a few. All of those emotions are valid.

Suicide starts with a thought. Things would be easier if I wasn’t here. Whether we want to admit it or not, most if not all of us have had this thought, most of us shake it off and keep going. It’s a momentary frustration with life as we navigate our struggles.

Damn, if I just didn’t exist, if I killed myself now, I would not have to deal with all of this nonsense. *sigh* whatever, let me get back to…

But for some of us those thoughts, seeded in despair, begin to take root. They bury themselves within our psyche giving birth to fantasies of relief. Relief from pain, disappointment, loneliness, regret, turmoil, hopelessness. At some point the comfort at the thought of ceasing begins to outweigh our fear of letting go.

Often this projection is noticeable if we pay attention. The person who once complained, fussed, vented…stops. They begin to withdraw. They stop seeking help. The thoughts inside their head become louder than any flippant “words of advice”.

Be strong. So many people have it worse than you. You’re blessed. All you do is complain. I hear you, it’s even worse for me!

Giving in sounds much more doable than just “being strong” so they do. They let the ideations become a plan. And with the formulation of a plan comes relief.

This will be over soon. This is actually better, no one cares anyway. I can stop being a downer on everyone. Yeah this is the right choice. Everyone will be better off.

NO THEY WON’T

This is where we step in. Where we take time to truly see past our own frustrations and take notice, truly SEE those we love. Encouraging words. A smile. A hug. A touch. All are grounders reconnecting them to the fact that they are worthy, loved, needed, and wanted.

Those who are hurting often bleed through their eyes. The pain leaking out when they dare to look you in the face. Unfortunately most don’t see what’s right in front of them because our vision is often blurred by our own tinged tears.
It is possible to see past our own suffering and be a lifeline for one another.