9.17.2010

TIME for a CHANGE

TIME. CHANGE. HEALING.

Something inside is bothering me. Though can hardly explain what it is, I am 100% sure that it is EMOTIONAL STRESS. From time to time, it has been my little thingy jerk that hurt me from the inside. It triggers disbelief, false hope and endless longing. Yes! I'm talking about heartaches brought by emotional dependency.

Three things that dishearten my emotional dependency are TIME, CHANGE and HEALING. These are abstracts that create rejection, adjustment and moving on.

TIME is like a shadow from the past that is terrifying. It pushes me to decide faster, act swifter, and move further even though there are still remnants of failed relationship to ponder. It always reminds of me resentment and disappointments. I could have been better if time permitted. I could have been more valuing if TIME took its longer time. I could have been more ME.

CHANGE is a bullet that can not be stopped. If you try to stop it, you're the one who will earn the pain. Change does not give its speed. Sometimes it is in a slow pace but more often it is in rapid state. Never close your eyes or else it will just pass by. Though there are things that provide clue for the coming change, still I can not see it cause mostly it's coming from behind. It changes its colors, shapes, and size. If only I tried to ride with change, I might be stronger. I might be wiser. I might be still holding that life of comfort and assurance. Not this loneliness and loveless aches.

HEALING also disheartens me but it is a feeling of something new is coming. I might not be 100% prepared but I know it is something to look forward. Healing is like whispers from the past that gave you glimpse of failed relationship, wrong decisions, and things that I cried over spilled milk.

CHANGE and HEALING take TIME. And for sure, a stronger, wiser, and more prepared MAN is in the frontier of bigger opportunity, brighter future and well deserved love after TIME, CHANGE and HEALING take its course.

TO-DO-LIST BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS

1. Be part of any United Nations agency but at most priority is either Development Program or Environment Program2. Study abroad, either MS Environmental Engineering or MA Public Policy/Public Administration3. Write a book4. Be an Industry Lecturer5. Be a Motivational Speaker6. still thinking :)