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Shocking discovery!

Hello everyone, I am a normal 20 year old kid living with his parents. Until last week my life was normal. when suddenly i came back from home and found a person around 48-50 about the same as my dad's sitting with my parents. I saw a remarkable similarity in my appearance to his. anyways my parents asked me to go back to my room. later in the night my parents revealed to me that man is my real biological father. They said that after marriage it was found that my dad was impotent and in those days ivf wasnt much heard of. In desparation and family pressure ( my parents did not reveal the impotent fact to any of my relatives ) my father searched for a man who would reproduce with my mom for money. After a long search they found this man and i was born. He according to the arrangement never contacted me or my family. but now he needed money so he came. My parents said that they felt i should know the truth. I am too shocked even to react..i feel disgusting to be honest that i was conceived in this manner..plz advice

hmmm...sounds odd that your parents revealed this fact to you, but maybe they were afraid of being blackmailed now that he has come to ask for money. look, as you say, its a bit of a shocker, but how do things change for you? you have a set of loving parents who took this decision to bring you into their lives because they wanted you, so i really don't think that you should judge them. Take it easy- its a new facet in your adult life- you will deal with many- deal with it with patience.

hmmm...sounds odd that your parents revealed this fact to you, but maybe they were afraid of being blackmailed now that he has come to ask for money. look, as you say, its a bit of a shocker, but how do things change for you? you have a set of loving parents who took this decision to bring you into their lives because they wanted you, so i really don't think that you should judge them. Take it easy- its a new facet in your adult life- you will deal with many- deal with it with patience.

In the First place, there is no need to feel disgusted. You were not born of any deviant act. And none of us in this world have any control of how we come into it. Secondly, children who are adopted, mostly never get to know their biological parent(s). The principle of adoption recommends that the child is told.

There are several approaches. The Story of Krishna is quite popular, How he was born to Devaki but raised by Yashoda and so on. Sushmita Sen telling her daughter that she was born from the heart and not from her womb is another example.

A more primitive case of Sperm Donation is what has happened in your case and your parents have come out with the truth. They have nurtured you as a child, put up with your tantrums and sacrificed several pleasures to make you a man / lady. You should be proud of that. Many biological parents end up having too many kids to focus their attention. From your post, you seem to be the only child. That, in itself is proof of their dedication towards you. Your dad may not be able to reproduce, but he is a MAN. Move on feeling special and proud that you have such lovely parents.

Logical Guru is the internationally renowned, right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Matrimony, Religion, International Travel and the Law

Last edited by Logical_Guru; 31-01-2013 at 10:10 AM.
Reason: Assumed it was a guy. could be a girl

There are other people in this world, who need to feel disgusted for their acts.. like New Delhi rapists. You and your parents did nothing wrong. As far as society is concerned, keep it low and no one will ever know.

Dear friend, life is full of shocks like this at 20 this is your first. deal with it. Appreciate your parent's honesty that they told u truth. Maybe they were waiting for you to be mature enough & understanding. Whatever you do, in any way dont let your parents feel bad. Be the same son you ahve always been.

Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

Hello everyone, I am a normal 20 year old kid living with his parents. Until last week my life was normal. when suddenly i came back from home and found a person around 48-50 about the same as my dad's sitting with my parents. I saw a remarkable similarity in my appearance to his. anyways my parents asked me to go back to my room. later in the night my parents revealed to me that man is my real biological father. They said that after marriage it was found that my dad was impotent and in those days ivf wasnt much heard of. In desparation and family pressure ( my parents did not reveal the impotent fact to any of my relatives ) my father searched for a man who would reproduce with my mom for money. After a long search they found this man and i was born. He according to the arrangement never contacted me or my family. but now he needed money so he came. My parents said that they felt i should know the truth. I am too shocked even to react..i feel disgusting to be honest that i was conceived in this manner..plz advice

Did you just say 20-year old and Kid in the same sentence..? A 20 year old is NOT a kid, to begin with.

Second, How does it matter how you were conceived.? You're alive, right..? Be thankful to your parents for that. Before you point a finger at them, just imagine what would have happened if your mother had not given birth to you.. You would have not existed, at all.. !! You're just fine, don't complicate stuff for no reason.

G'day

AS WE GROW OLDER TOGETHER, AS WE CONTINUE TO CHANGE WITH AGE, THERE IS ONE THING THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE

It’s not about what you've done, it’s about what you are doing... It’s all about where you going, no matter where you've been.
The past has to be as irrelevant as that person who is blackmailing, the future is what you much take care of like your mom and dad did for you till date.