i really think the op needs to determine if this is intended to really be a gift. when i give gifts, i don't really care what the person does after said gift exchanges hands. but that is just me...shrugs...

i really think the op needs to determine if this is intended to really be a gift. when i give gifts, i don't really care what the person does after said gift exchanges hands. but that is just me...shrugs...

i agree, but i learned with my family i have to tailor my gifts to their needs. for instance, i have one family member who if i found out needed a computer, I could sent them the money for the computer and they'd they'd take the money, pick out what they want and take everything from there. i have others that i have to buy the computer myself and send it to them. or else if i just sent the money i'd hear that they decided to "treat themselves" and get their hair done. love them the same. just had to learn how to handle them.

i don't know...i guess i view gifts and "help" a little differently. if i am trying to help someone achieve a goal, then i probably would feel more vested in what they do with said help. i could care less what a person decides to do with an actual gift, however. i don't worry about whether a person i give a wedding gift ever uses it or turns around and sells it later. i gave my mothers best friends daughter my old car (i had an cash offer on it for $3000), i haven't thought about that car not one bit since the title change....not one bit.

maybe its the price/size of this particular possible gift that is causing all the apprehension...

honestly...this sounds like a situation where you have to stop the enabling. I have some family members who will literally suck me dry of all I have if I let them. They think because of the relationship, they can do this FOREVER. And if I let them...they will, without a doubt, absolutely ruin me, and have nothing to say about it. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Your situation sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Avoid it now and may be called some names, or cry later.

You cannot post new topics in this forumYou cannot reply to topics in this forumYou cannot delete your posts in this forumYou cannot edit your posts in this forumYou cannot create polls in this forumYou cannot vote in polls in this forum