The Adventures of Kurt and Blaine

There's been a lot of Glee/HP crossover fics, mostly because of A Very Potter Musical. But this one . . . uh.

The Adventures of Kurt and Blaine

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Blaine never got excepted to hogwarts, Hogwarts never knew about him

Because he was American, and Hogwarts was in Britain.

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At the age of 11 he started noticing things, Good powerful and scary things. Once he accidentally broke a bullies arm. Or When somehow He manged to get to diagon alley. At diagon Alley Blaine thought to himself If he was gonna control this thing he might as well learn it too.

Despite being Muggle-raised on a different continent, he just happens to find his way to Diagon Alley.

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"Excuse me How much are these?" Blaine asked.

"2 sickles. " The Woman answered.

"I've only got Muggle money" Blaine hoped muggle was the right term he heard people talking about non magical muggles.

The woman's face soften "Its alright dear 5 pounds then"

Blaine smiled and gave her 5 pounds.

And why does an American boy have British currency? Something's fishy here.

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"Umm how do i get back to you know the Muggle World?" Blaine asked shyly.

"Well im just about to shoot off how about you give me your hand and i'll Transport you back. Where do you live?"

"Westerville ohio 167 privet drive."

"THE ANDERSONS !" the woman smiled

Blaine nodded

"I didn't know they were magical?" The woman said.

"their not but I Am "

"Blaine its me Franny from next door" The woman smiled.

Boy, does she have a hell of a long commute.

Blaine then decides to work up to telling his parents he's a wizard by first coming out to them:

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"Mom , Father. I Have something to announce something I Should of realized I was. Im Gay" Blaine stood there his mom was smiling proudly she nodded but when he turned to Henry, Henry Started choking Blaine's mom started to get up but Blaine told her to sit down and stay calm Under the table He whipped his wand out and whispered one word "crise de" Blaine saw a light coming from his wand he panicked because his mom but when blaine looked his mom was staring at Henry with fear, He sighed relief And flicked his Wand again and the light started up again It took 10 seconds for Henry to dislodge the food stuck With alittle help.

Anyone know what spell "crise de" is supposed to be? And the random capitalization is starting to get on my nerves.

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"Im pulling you out of public school, Im enrolling you in Dalton Academy up the road If your sure I dont want my son being hurt." Blaine laughed In his head at this Nobody hurts him At school because he usually Charms himself, A protective charm. But Blaine let him continue anyway he liked the sound of Dalton Academy.

You know, I'm sure I've seen a few stories where Dalton is secretly a school of magic, but I don't think that's what the author's going for here.

Blaine quickly tried to take it back but wes was flicking it around. Blaine wasn't scared of them finding out but was more scared for the school and His Wand. Wes might accidently swish it the right way and blow. He did just that by making everything float around. Also his wand might break Ive heard they sometimes snap under a strangers grip.

"no Nobody knew i was a wizard for some reason but I Pop to the wizarding world for a look around to buy stuff like more advanced spell books"

So they just let an underage Muggle (as far as anyone knows) wander around and pick up spell books? And no one thinks this is unusual?

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Franny had just appeared by the register she spotted Blaine in his Dalton uniform.

"Hey Blaine, I see you brought your friends Are they Muggles?"

Wes and David looked at eachother.

"Yeah they are their just taking their time to realise That the Harry potter novels Are Real Life adventures By Real life wizards." Blaine turned to wes and David. "Yes we use the word muggles"

"Franny Im on level 78 Spell book Expert. What spell book do i need now?"

Franny ran over to the book shelf and grabbed a level 80 to 1000.

"Thanks fran" Blaine walked over "How much?"

"7 sickles" Fran smiled Blaine dug in his pocket and Gave her 8 sickles "Keep the change" Franny smiled.

It's a wonder they don't have more HP fans randomly wandering in. Their security spells must be extremely lax if an amateur student wizard and his two Muggle friends can just pop in whenever they feel like it.

We then have a quick retelling of the scene between Blaine and Kurt on the staircase. Thankfully, the author spares us the entire copied and pasted lyrics of "Teenage Dream."

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"I take it your having hard times at school ?" Blaine asked.

"Im the only out kid at McKinley. And the jocks they are so homophobic. you can literally smell homophobia on them." Kurts faces had a few tears in them.

"I Used to get bullied too. (Not for the same reasons) It Used to really piss me off" Blaine said honestly, Which was true because when he went to public school and he took his wand they used to snatch it off him and tease him. The amount of times he had to use mind charms was endless.

And not so much as a letter from the Ministry?

Some time later, Kurt is being bullied, and Blaine comes to his rescue:

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Kowalski charged at blaine But blaine pulled out his wand. and the jocks started laughing.

"Harry potter wannabe?" Kowalski choursed

"DONT PUSH ME!" blaine growled.

"Oh whats that gonna do to me!" Kowalski laughed

"Im serious!" Blaine said He knew the perfect spell.

Kowalski went to push him up against the wall.

"Immobulus" Blaine flicked his wrist and a light shot out hitting kowalski who was now on the floor. Blaine looked down to a frightened Kowalski.

"I told you not to push me Kowalski" Blaine said stepping over dave to kurt but the other jocks wouldnt let go.

"Let go of Kurt." blaine said clearly.

"No" Armizo said

"You want to not feel your legs too ?" Blaine said amused.

"What do you-" Armizo looked over to were the other jock rushed over and quickly rushed over. But blaine shouted over

"He wont be able to move until I undo the spell" Blaine knelt down to kurt and began untieing him.

"blaine" Kurt gasped.

"God these are tight!" Blaine growled Whipping out his wand. and pointing it to the ropes.

"Waddiwasi" the ropes untied themselves. Blaine knew kurt shouldnt of found out like this but he had to help. Blaine put his wand back and helped a shocked kurt up off the floor. Blaine then turned all 3 jocks to him pulled out his wand "Obliviate " (He doesnt completely erase them only of tonight. Kurt watched as Blaine stood up opening the door for the 3 jocks. After The jocks left Blaine closed the door and slipped his wand in his pocket.

More magic out of school. Or out of the proper school, anyway.

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Should i take you home?" Blaine suguested

"Well, finn's at pucks for 6 weeks and carole and burt are away on the honeymoon for 6 weeks so that leaves me alone in a big house it doesnt sound very appealing to me" BLaine laughed

"Well we could go to my house, I'll show you my spell books and maybe show you around diagon Alley." Kurt smirked and nodded.

Blaine held out his arm and kurt took it dissappearing from the cold dark room and reappearing in the night air outside blaines home .

Six weeks? That's a long honeymoon. Most people take two at the most.

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Blaine read the note

Blaine your father had urgent buissness be back in 3 months or more love mom . p.s is you cant find the spare key your screwed.

Blaine nodded walking in "SIR!" blaine called A man ran up to the desk he smiled recognizing blaine.

"Come for a repair?" The man stepped out from behind the desk.

"no no I Was wandering My Friend Kurt Wether you could test a few wands with him because when he was younger he walked past a light bulb and it blew i asked him what he was feeling he said angry and upset he asked me today why i Glow" the man nodded seriously "I see"

Surprise, surprise! Kurt's a secret wizard too!

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"Curious" the man said

"Whats curious?" Kurt asked

"The phoenix Who made that wand made another I Thought I recognized you , Are you A Hummel but any chance?" The man asked.

"My mom was A witch! Why didn't dad tell me, Why didn't i get into hogwarts?"

THERE. ARE. WIZARD. SCHOOLS. IN. AMERICA! Seriously, there must be at least one in the Midwest! Why would an American family send their child to a British wizard school?

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"Accio Wand" Kurt reached out and grabbed the wand holding it. "Have you seen enough to believe me yet? Or do you want to know that im on level 90 like blaine?" Blaine smirked He thought kurt looked cute annoyed.

"okay i dont believe that one." franny said honestly.

Self-taught wizards are on level 90? Wait a minute, since when are there levels? Sounds like something from a game.

I don't like Glee, but I have seen AVPM. And this would actually be a hilarious crack!fic if the characters just randomly burst into songs about magic. I mean...it's a musical show, so it wouldn't even be out there for them to be singing. Actually, it seems like a pretty good fit. Too bad the author is apparently serious. :/

Your snark is weaksauce and you barely mentioned the appalling spelling and punctuation.

I figured obvious problems are obvious; no point in going over them again and again.

On to Chapter 2!

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"KURT!" carole called. Carole and Burt had come back 2 nights ago now the house was back to an annoying house.

House: "I am not annoying! Wait, why am I in this fic?"

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Blaine was downstairs in his dalton uniform just about to go when his dad stopped him.

"Blaine we had to pull you out of Dalton Academy You'll be going to attend McKinley from today so change and get moving." Henry said coldly. Blaine smiled slightly and nodded Should he feel happy ? Wait mckinley isnt that were kurt Attends ?. Blaine quickly Got changed into a short sleeved black shirt jeans and black trainer shoes. He rushed downstairs pausing at the door.

"Who's the boy?" Mercedes guessed him out. Kurt looked down and smiled blushing.

"Blaine." Mercedes smiled

"Awwww" Mercedes laughed and rubbed his shoulders.

It's hard to figure out exactly who's speaking here.

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Just then Kowalski came up to him "Hey butt boy" Kurt glanced to mercedes and told her to go she nodded and backed away.

"Leave me alone Dave " Kurt hissed.

Who is this Kowalski person? It's spelled Karofsky, idiot! Every other fanfic author gets it right!

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"Kowalski" Blaine hissed. Kurt looked around kowalski and saw Blaine in No Dalton uniform defending him should he feel happy while being up a wall by a homophobic jock ?

"let go off kurt" Blaine said.

"Oh looks like we got another butt boy here" Dave laughed letting go off kurt pushing both into the lockers and walking away.

In "No Dalton uniform"? Why not just say he was in regular clothes?

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"Well at least im not the only wizard here" Kurt whispered smiling. Blaine ran his hand through his hair and laughed. They both stood up. Kurt walked Blaine to the office were they found out they both had the same classes togther.

"I swear somebody wants us together"

The author, of course. Who can't even be subtle about it.

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the bell rang it was time for lunch. Blaine and kurt were halfway to the cafeteria there when the jocks grabbed them and locked them in a dark cupboard.

"Really!" Kurt hissed and the jocks laughter wandered away. "Muggles are so stupid." Kurt murmered taking his wand out "Alohomora"Blaine smirked when the door clicked. Kurt shoved his wand back and pushed the door open. the jocks saw Blaine and Kurt walking laughing and talking.

And still no one from the Ministry (or the US equivalent) has nabbed them for unauthorized magic use.

So they then get thrown into the dumpster, which you wouldn't think would be the setting for a romantic scene.You would be wrong.

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Blaine landed first and Kurt landed so his head was on his chest. Blaine knew he shouldnt feel Good. But this postion made him feel happy and warm it just proved one thing to blaine. He liked Kurt Hummel.

Kurt felt a simulaur thing happen to him he felt giddy inside.

"Kurt You okay?" Blaine lifted his head to see kurt smiling.

"This dumpster is the best dumpster toss ever" Kurt murmered.

"Is that so?" Blaine raised a eyebrow

"Sure, we're covered in smelly garbage, but we're together!"

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"It proves one thing blaine." Kurt sat up and looked him in the eye.

"I like you" Kurt said strongly blaines breathing hitched. "You felt that rush of electric ?" Blaine nodded smiling and moving closer to Kurt locking their lips slowly, Building the kiss carefully. Eventually they broke for air.

And Blaine said will you be my boyfriend and Kurt said yes I will be your boyfriend, and then they kissed again.

The jocks come after them again, and they pull the same locked-room stunt, which the boys get out of easily. They then Apparate (I guess;) to Blaine's house.

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But When they appeared on the street everything went cold. like all the happiness was torn out of you.

"Dementors" Kurt whispered.

"Wands" Blaine pulled his wand out as he was saying this kurt already had his. A cloaked Black Floating Creature came towards kurt and Blaine.

"Kurt listern i know we havnet practiced but we need to make a double patronoum" Blaine's voice sounded on the edge as more cloaked figures came out of the sky and straight for them.

Kurt swallowed and nodded. Kurt and blaine separated taking a few steps away facing each other.

"Expecto Patronum" They both said light was erupting from their wands Kurt and Blaine took a step to each other to make their charms connect once they were touching Kurt and Blaine thought of happy times between them The light and power was now flowing strongly they opened their eyes smiling, They turned to the Creatures and quickly dealt with them. Franny was watching from the window Smiling. Once they were sure the Dementors were totally gone they put their wands down and embraced each other in a hug.

Never mind that it took Harry months of practice to produce a decent Patronus. These two can do it together, on the first try!

Then we have Blaine's dad being homophobic, the way he's frequently (and unfairly, in my opinion) in fanfics.

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"which school does the fag go to?" Henry asked causally.

"HENRY!" blaines mom defended "im sure he's lovely."

Kurt thanked the lord blaines mom was a loving person he breathed in and stepped out from behind Blaine. "Im kurt Hummel I go to Mckinley"

Blaines mom looked towards henry with a look of Shock and embarrassment. Blaine's Dad Looked like he didn't expect Kurt to look the way he did he imaged Rainbows and unicorns.

He "imaged" them? I read this sentence three times, trying to make sense of it, and I just now noticed this.

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The Rest of the Night Flew by and it was time for Kurt to go After a thousand goodbye's Kurt dissappeared only to re-appear 2 minutes later asking for Blaine's help.

Sneek peek: Kurt needs Blaine's help but what happens in the process? do both familes find out?

Find out what? That they're together? Or that they're wizards? And no explanation of what the Dementors were doing in front of Blaine's house.

This writing style makes me want to headdesk so hard my forehead smashes through the wood. My nephew writes better than this, and he's six. How old is this author?

*goes to check profile -- no age but holy shit*

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WILL PEOPLE STOP COMMENTING NEGATIVE THINGS IM NOT DOING FANFICTION FOR EXPERT REASONS I DOING IT FOR FUN!

Warning. I do not care about bad punaction i Joined this site to write stories not to be put down by negative comments

Of course. "Dun liek dun REEEEEED!" The lazy author's excuse for abusing the English language.

On to Chapter 3, which is titled "Mr Potter the new teacher." Oh, boy.

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ANNOUNCEMENT: I am not on Fanfiction for Perfection! im in it because I love writing Stories All i care about is that you get the main story line. I am not majoring in English Literature, My Grades are Average Okay so bear with me!

All I care about is that you can write better than a fourth-grader.

When last we left our young wizards, Kurt had just left Blaine's house. He comes back, though, in a hurry:

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"Kurt what?" Blaine asked As kurt was giving back his wand. Kurt just turned Blaine towards the house and pointed at the 2 black clothed men torturing His family. Blaine turned to Kurt questioningly. Kurt sensed that Blaine needed to know what he'd been up too.

"After I left and came back I saw these men Then I Heard a scream and came to get you, you wasnt awake so I clicked the front door open. Evaporating would make too much noise." Kurt turned to see Blaine's reaction.

Evaporating? O.o

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They both watched and listerned, From were they were sitting they could hear and see everything that was going on inside the house. Carole and Burt Were Bleeding and tied up. Finn was on the floor unconscious, Bleeding heavily. One of the men Turned revealing that they had a gun and the other had two knives. The one with the knives slapped Carole around the face, Kurt and Blaine both gasped when they saw the mark on the man's arm. A Snake.

Dun dun duuuuun!

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"No, no no" Kurt stuttered "Are they Death-" Blaine just swallowed and nodded.

Except why would Death Eaters have Muggle weapons? They'd just use their wands, wouldn't they?

Why am I still expecting this story to make sense?

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It appears that the two men changed their wands to look like muggle weapons.

Ah, I see. But why?

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"Listern Blaine I need to tell you something" Kurt said quietly. Blaine turned to face Kurt Nodding to continue.

"I'm a Parcel Mouth

Now I have this image of Kurt carrying packages in his mouth like a St. Bernard. Honestly, author, really?

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"Blaine we need to-" Blaine knew what he was going to say.

"I know Kurt, I know But how Are We going to Duel with them If they are Who we think they am."

Me am confused.

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They reached the house And saw the fears were met Carole and Burt were scared. Very Scared. Sitting by a Large Snake. Their gazes though, Stopped at Finn their was snake bites on his arms. The snake was on the alert for more danger which showed That Finn had panicked, Rather then stay still like carole and burt where doing. Burt and Carole were to scared to realize Kurt and Blaine were watching through the window.

Malvoy and Wormtail They ARE death eaters we need to get in there NOW" Blaine hissed. Kurt responded by walking inside, Blaine quickly followed after him Malvoy and Wormtail Turned sharply.

"Whats going on...?" Burt asked suspiciously.

"We could ask the same " Blaine replied. Malvoy turned and laughed.

"Another bunch of Muggles"

Kurt gritted his teeth. Blaine rubbed his arm soothingly.

"Oh your GAY Muggles..." Wormtail laughed.

So, what, they have a gaydar spell now? Revealo Gaius?

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"Your homophobic Death eaters" Blaine replied back. Wormtail and Malvoy looked at each other Confused.

"Yeah, but our homophobic Death Eaters could beat up your gay Muggles!"

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"Summon the snakes to attack" Malvoy said. Wormtail flicked his wand and the snakes slid in.

"Kurt..." Blaine said. Kurt looked at him.

"Dont worry." Kurt assured. The snake came towards Finn Don't Attack Finn Kurt said to the snake (i couldnt write the snake language) Blaine winked at Kurt as he got his wand out. Kurt smiled back. Don't Kill Or we will kill you The snake ignored kurt so Kurt turned to Blaine And nodded once. Blaine raised his wand "Evanesco" Kurt watched as the snake Burned away. Lucius Approached Blaine with his wand raised which made Kurt alarmed.

So . . . what just happened?

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"The dark lo-" Kurt stopped him "Voldemort" Lucius swallowed "Yes Well With Voldemort dead. We have nothing to do and we like the feeling we get when we pick on Muggles because their weak-" Lucius stopped talking Kurt Wand poked harder into his neck.

So they were bored and said, "Let's go beat up some Muggles just because we can?" Lamest villain motivation ever.

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"You and your friend Can Go From My House And Never TORTURE my Family Again or we will hunt you down and kill you before you can say Quittich." Lucius Nodded he grabbed Wormtail and Evaporated. Kurt and Blaine looked over at Finn who was still unconscious Next to Carole and Burt. Which were also tied up.

That's it? They just go, just like that? Let me guess, you can't write fight scenes.

Anyway, when they're finished healing the family, they tell the truth about wizards:

Well, why wouldn't he? If your high school classmate was still playing with his toy wand . . .

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"Kurt, Blaine Wait." Mr potter got up. Kurt and Blaine turned.

"Why are the calling me a wizard?" Kurt noticed how his fringe was swept across his left side of his forehead.

"Because they know who you are." Blaine said simply. Kurt saw he was going to protest so he went into his bag and got out the deathly hallows Book and passed it. Mr potter's expressions were Hilarious. Kurt simply laughed and walked away. After Kurt and Blaine left. Mr potter promised himself that he would keep a eye on them.

So he . . . doesn't know that there are books about his life? How? What rock has he been living under for the past decade?

"I know I heard it" Kurt got on his knee's kneeling on the floor. Listerning. It was a Poisonous snake. No wonder Dave put us in this room. Kurt recognized it, IT was Dave's Snake he brought to Pet week. It went straight for Blaine.

Kill him i'll kill you Kurt warned. Mr Potter Heard Kurt and decided to see for himself, Mr Potter opened the door to see What he's been hearing.

Why.. Oh its you Kurt Hummel... We meet again young wizard. Friends with a muggle i see well he looks good enough to kill.

He's a Wizard too! And we both know the spell so would you Stop trying to attack us. The snake retreated to the corner. Kurt breathed out. Blaine tapped his shoulder. "Mr Potter's in here" Kurt turned his head to Mr Potter.

"So Kurt, Blaine your both Wizards And Kurt your a Parcel Mouth am I Correct?" Mr potter knelt down on the floor in front of them. They both nodded.

"If your not at Hogwarts how did you learn?" Harry wondered.

"We taught ourselves." They said in unison.

"But isn't that illegal? If you're not registered wizards, you can't be practicing magic."

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"Wow" Mr Potter Sighed "Well if your family ever want to come to mine and Ginny's Home That we share with Hermione and Ron Your welcome to Just Come in."

"Wow you are really Harry Potter." Kurt smiled. Harry grinned "Yup you have a magically famous teacher."

The thought never crosses his mind that this guy could be having him on. On, no! Wizards never lie!

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Sneak peek : Meeting Ron Hermione, And Ginny

Who all live in the same house. God, that must be awkward. Not to mention crowded. Are the kids in this too? Or is the author all "THE EPILOGUE DOESN'T EXIST!"

I would say this story can't get any worse, but I said that last chapter, and look what happened. Dear God, haven't we been punished enough? Please make it stop!

Shit... When I wrote my Sue-Fic for Harry Potter I at least tried to explain why an American was bumbling around and blowing up Hogwarts.

The same thing happens in reverse to me when my Sues need to be in an otherwise American-only environment. Lucikly, most of my fandoms don't have a problem with inserting people with NRP accents into all-American casts...not even Criminal Minds with that English FBI girlfriend of Hotch's.

On a different, note, I think we got a genuine angry/butthurt author appearance. Is this enough reason for a cautious yay?

Just an FYI: the author has shown up in a thread she made. I'm just pointing this out because with a thread title like "imformation," I figured it was a spambot and I'm probably not the only one. Quoting the message here

AmyB96 wrote:

I'm the writer of Adventures of kurt and blaine . I Don't mind talking about my story it's just I read the comments and they were quite nasty. I have problems with spelling that are quite personal And if it makes your brain hurt Don't read it nobody is forcing you too. SuperAwesomeISeeKlainebows

No, sorry. Didn't save it. I wasn't planning to snark anymore anyway, after she showed up. That would have been rubbing it in her face.

ETA: I just did a search. I think she's deleted her whole account. I can't remember if she had any other stories or not. If she did, it wasn't many. But I'm betting she'll be back at some point, under another name.

No, sorry. Didn't save it. I wasn't planning to snark anymore anyway, after she showed up. That would have been rubbing it in her face.

ETA: I just did a search. I think she's deleted her whole account. I can't remember if she had any other stories or not. If she did, it wasn't many. But I'm betting she'll be back at some point, under another name.

True, I suppose. You still could have passed it around as a word doc for our, uh, amusement. Oh well. I almost feel bad for her being that she deleted her account, but she'll get over it and probably come back under another name, as you said. All things considered, this was tame as far as this board goes...

I Haven't deleted my account, Iv'e only deleted the story I re-read it and I really messed it up so I decided to focus on my others, My sister is better at English so shes acting as my Beta reader now.

I Haven't deleted my account, Iv'e only deleted the story I re-read it and I really messed it up so I decided to focus on my others, My sister is better at English so shes acting as my Beta reader now.

Good for you for getting a beta reader. Keep working on your writing, that's the only way you'll improve. Good luck!