This blog launches a new chapter in my life: finally leaving my teenage years, starting my final year at university, and starting a whole new road to writing.

Please take a moment to read my first post and follow my blog. I really appreciate all the support and love all of you have given me since I joined WordPress, and I hope you appreciate the time I take to maintain these blogs for your enjoyment.

But don’t worry – it’s not going anywhere, you will still be able to view all my old posts, but after tomorrow I won’t be posting anything new.

Instead, I will be posting on my new blog: Young Unknown Author which is basically the same as this blog but with a slightly different style. Goodbye are the rants and random shopping hauls. My new blog will be a place for articles, opinion pieces and updates on my life as an unknown author.

Please take a moment this week to read my new blog – I have posts for each day of the week as a special birthday treat!

I’m really proud of my new blog, and I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

‘Not long now’ is a phrase I’ve been using far too often as of late. I think it’s time to share what it is I am waiting for…

Not Long Now:

Until my birthday…

On Monday I finally turn twenty – and my 20th year brings a lot of pressure along with a new age. It will be a boring day, but an important one. Only time will tell what lies ahead for my 20th year on this planet.

Until I go back to university…

In late September I start my final year at university, just as two of my closest friends start their first. When I do go back, it’s all worrying and planning from Day 1. I have to plan module essays and write a dissertation. I have to decide where I am going to live and work for the foreseeable future. And, I have to start saving and planning a graduation holiday with my closest friends.

Until I graduate…

This time next year I will be graduating from my degree and moving on to my official adult life. I’ll be working and writing full time, paying bills without a student loan, and living somewhere new (maybe.) God knows where I will be this time next year, but I hope whatever I decide to do I will be healthy, happy and a CCCU Graduate.

That’s right – mom jeans! And no, I am not a mother. I’m two weeks away from 20 years old and I own mom jeans!

They’re comfy, light denim and they look good… seriously!

I wear them around the house, I use them for cooking, cleaning, gardening and general laying about. They match everything and everything matches them.

The problem is, I am not a mom (obvious, I know) but I mean it. Yes, I want children and a family in the future, but right now I was hoping for a little less responsibility and a little more fun. Again, I want a serious relationship, But do I really want to have to look out for another human being when I don’t want to look out for myself?

These jeans are awesome, but I think they represent a part of my future that genuinely worries me. Every day at some point or another that my future is a little more than shaky. I’ve chosen an amazing but unstable career path, I’m a loner (sometimes by choice), I’m independent, and I’m a hard to read person. How am I going to cope when I have children to look after ?(Theo and Scarlett are their theoretical names by the way).

One day, I am going to have to face the fact that I own mom jeans and that they come with issues, but right now I think I might change into leggings, grab a vodka and coke and watch Friends with my housemates.

This blog is usually a light-hearted space (even in my low moments) but I just wanted to take a minute to talk about something I never thought I’d see.

My 20th birthday.

I was so sure I’d never make it this far (age-wise) that I never really planned for it. Just like I’ve never dreamed up my ideal wedding or the prefect 21st birthday party. I never though I would leave my teens.

When you turn 13, everyone tells you that your teenage years are going to be the best of your life. Now, I know I’m still technically in them but I can say for certain that this just isn’t true for me. I had a rocky childhood and my early teen years were rebellious – at best! I had no future planned, no purpose in life and not much encouragement to reach for the stars. I didn’t even have pushy parents.

I don’t regret anything in my life – all choices lay the path to our future – but I know I didn’t make the smartest decisions, there are a lot of things I would have done differently. You can’t change the past, you can only learn from it – and that is exactly what I’ve been doing these last two years.

I (somehow) got into a good university, and am now a year away from graduation and my 21st birthday. I have wonderful friends whom I hope will be with me for many years to come, I have a good job and five (technically six) books under my belt.

13-year-old me would not believe it. She wore black skinny jeans, kohl eyeliner and dreamed of getting her lip pierced. Her poetry was delusional at best and she never thought it was any good. It’s taken me seven years of bad choices, a wobbly education and supportive people in my life to realise that we don’t have to be the person our life dictates. If I hadn’t jumped off the crazy train, I would be homeless, jobless and off my face every day.

What I am trying to say is, I am so proud of myself for making a life changing decision in a park when I was 15: I said no – not anymore. I gave up the jelly bracelets and spiky boots. I donned cute dresses and (mostly) natural hair – and no more scary make up. I stopped caring what boys thought of me and decided the only way to be happy in life was to truly be myself and strive for greater things.

I’m proud of me, and I think at some point in everyone’s lives they have a chance to choose the right path. I may wobble occasionally, but I’m still on track to being the woman I want to be.