Month: August 2012

So, yeah, apparently people can communicate with their butt. This robot butt has two purposes: One is to demonstrate the innovative use of robotics and technology along with it’s purpose, and the other is to raise the argument as to what perceptions will be manifested in the minds of those who communicate with it. Whatever that means.

If you are in a relationship or previously thought you were in love and are now questioning it, chances are you’re not. If you’re questioning it and you have someone in mind, you probably are. However, you can only be sure when you are confident and say, “Yeah, I’m in love.” with a big derping grin on your face. Don’t question love, just feel it.

That awkward moment when your allergies make your voice sound like a diseased pig.

Anyway, I decided that I’m not going to get myself caught up in any after school activities until I get myself on track with my homework, so I took a break from cross country. No, I didn’t quit, because if I get caught up on homework I still want to do it.

When I told Mr. Lelinski that I couldn’t do it, he took it better than I thought he would. I explained to him how I had a choice of either getting my homework done and getting a bad night’s sleep, or not doing my homework and having energy for the next day. He said that it was a very responsible decision on my part and that he’ll talk to me more after school on Tuesday. I just have to make sure he keeps the discussion short because I have to go to a friends swim meet at 4:30. I can’t miss that. I miss my Sexy Candy Panda.

For the past week, some time after school, everyone would have this huge discussion about how there’s nothing they can do for my living situation. How I desperately need a mom at this point in my life and I don’t have one.

For some reason I think that’s why God put my dad and Cindy together because she’s like the mom I never had. And Jamie’s like the sister I never grew up with. It’s awesome.

Now I just need transportation to get to Cindy’s house when I need to. Jason takes both bikes all the time and can drive his car over there. I’m left behind all the time. It’s degrading.

Oh, one other thing, I think I’m going to cover my wall with post-its or something. Like when I feel a certain way and some lyrics describe it, I’ll write it on a post it and stick it on my wall.

So I start high school tomorrow and I am not ready for it at all. I need clothes, stuff for Cross Country, I barely know where my classes are or how to read my schedule. I’m not used to getting up and I’m not organized either.

I guess this is what summer does to you.

The worst part is I don’t even have any classes with my boyfriend. Happy 2-month anniversary, by the way. :)

Anywhore, today I went to my family reunion for the first time in my life. Now that my brother can drive, we don’t have to make our mom, who always finds an excuse not to go, drive us.

Speaking of her, she nor Karl are here, and it’s 9 o’clock. She didn’t leave a note or call us to tell us where she was going. Why the fuck do we have to babysit her like this? She needs to take care of us. It’s her job as a mother. I’m only 14 years old, I still need my parents to be the responsible ones. Especially at this point in my life…

Today’s my birthday! Someone seriously had to remind me of that this morning. That’s not normal.

It’s awesome to wake up and see that this blog has finally achieved 5,000 views and that a total of 19 people have followed my blog received a free unicorn. I hope your unicorns have arrived without a problem and if there are any oddities about the creature, there are no send-backs. You’re stuck with it. Take care of it or leave it to die in your basement, I couldn’t care less. They were free to the both of us.

Hopefully my dad won’t pick up a cigarette today or any other day for the rest of his life. It’s his present to me.

This morning, on the ride home from my dad’s house, I was completely overwhelmed with thoughts. No, really. Like if you were to turn on 100 TV’s, three on channels with white noise, 6 with that annoying storm warning thing, and the rest with various other TV channels, that would be my brain.

All the time.

But this morning it was like, twice that. I wanted to share my thoughts and organize them, but I couldn’t. Fuckin’ ADD.

So maybe I should just start writing down my thoughts…. Here it goes…

Wow. I can’t believe I can’t remember my thoughts from this morning. Oh yeah, why the fuck does my brother hate me so much? We have to stick together… I guess he’s thinking about himself. He leaves me at my mom’s and takes his car and both bikes so him and his girlfriend can ride, my grandmas never home because she’s fucking 70 years old and still works, so I’m stuck here. Somewhere along the line I feel like I screwed up. Somewhere in my life I did something awful to my brother for him to just leave me out of everything. He’s a dick about all sorts of stuff and I can’t even have a decent conversation with him. My dad told me to stand up, then told me to hug him. Meanwhile Jason ‘s still sitting there looking at me, waiting, and I’m thinking, Bro, stand up. I’m not your bitch, show some respect. Now my dad thinks I hate my brother, when in reality, I have no problem hugging him or talking to him. He’s the one who hates ME.

And how do people expect me to be happy with myself if they are constantly comparing me to a woman who I despise? Seriously.The comments like “Stop being like your mother.” and “You’re just as bad as your mom at doing things.” hurts. It’s unimaginably offensive. It’s like questioning my intelligence. I’m not some piece of shit, lying, dumb fuck.

And I hate how Karl doesn’t give a single fuck about school. At graduation, even though I didn’t participate, I still wanted to say goodbye to my friends. Instead he yells at me, drags me out of the gym, and forces me to go home. What. The. Fuck. And then the next day at school Skonecki asks me if my mom yelled at me for not participating. I said no, but what I really wanted to say was HELL FUCKING YEAH. Everyone yelled at me for that and it was my BROTHER who had to say, “No, I’m not going to yell at her for that, she’s heard it enough. She get’s it.” My BROTHER. That guy who doesn’t give a shit about me had to say that. And then when we went to the orientation at Reagan, I wanted to find my classes and talk to the Cross Country coach before we left. So I waited in the hall for my mom for 15 minutes after everyone left, when Karl sends me a text “We’re outside, hurry up.” Dude. this is important. Graduation was important. What the fuck is your problem.

Right now my brain is exploding because every sentence up there branches off to another thought. My brain is a huge tree of what the fuck ever.