Monday, July 28, 2008

In case you didn't hear, sweet and adorable Shia LeYumyum is in trouble with the law once again. While driving under the influence, he managed to roll his car and destroy it. While at the hospital they booked him for the DUI and now has substantial head, hands etc injuries. All I know is that he better not "mark hamil" his face up! He has such delicious potential. It is so lame to hear about the drunk driving escapades of hollywood. Why do they each think they can drive while under the influence? Somebody please tell me why they do this! It's like Hollywood has brainwashed them into thinking that drinking and driving is ok and that they are above the law and everyone else so it must be impossible to be drunk and drive.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Can i just tell you all how great it is when grandma comes to visit? Let me tell you it is pretty great! sarah is busy torturing grandma Judy with juliann on the couch sleeping in her glasses(?) and emily still asleep on the floor upstairs. so wonderful. nobody crying or begging me to play doggie with them. I am ready to take a shower-something that i don't get to until the late afternoon. Grandma keeps everything and everyone in line with no nonsense while i sit back and relax and enjoy my few days of freedom. Thank heaven for grandmas!

So we made the date, got a babysitter, and headed out to eat at the cafe in Ikea and walk around again to see if we were impressed to buy anything. While walking around we came to a room with a tv and a woman was screaming. it was the Sci-Fi channel and they were wearing christmas lights on their head in a brain experiment and what i gathered was one guy had on the lights and another guy was freaking out yelling "get out of my brain" over and over and then screaming more and the next thing you see is his head bursting open and blood is all over the glass window on the door and then it shows the evil guy with the lights looking like he is psycho (which he is) and then it cuts back to the dead guy but this time they show his BRAINS all on top of his busted open head! I couldn't believe they had this channel on in Ikea. this was a family place. I turned around and told jeremy(who was watching and laughing...i laughed too and then i was disgusted when i saw the brains) and i said " that is totally unacceptable and inappropriate. I will tell them in their little suggestion box." He, Jeremy, of course said "please let's just go we don't have much time." But i ignored his pleas and wrote them that luckily i didn't have my children with me or else they might have seen that show while walking around. and i also told them that it was keeping me from buying their products and furniture. along with the fact that everything is made in china or india except for the packaged food. So i guess you could say this was strike out number 2. Shame on Ikea.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Saturday night was the first time i set a foot in Ikea. I was shocked at how huge it was. well of course it had to be huge, they had full apartments in there all decked out in plastic and pressed wood to sell us for outrageous prices. jeremy and i were laughing all the all the people down in the check out. We couldn't imagine there big bodies on the small beds. i did witness a girl drop a soft serve yogurt from her cone right in front of the register and I was laughing so heartily. I probably shouldn't have laughed so hard. but the place was comical. i told jeremy that we should go on a date to IKEA for a couple of hours and pretend to live in every room. we did find a cute dresser but i think we will pass on the paneled wood look that has a nice sheet of white paper on top. I really didn't think that it was the MOST amazing store in the world. most of the time we couldn't find our way out and got lost to the car. and sometimes they didn't have adequate explanations in english to tell us what the heck the product was. I also told jeremy that only Swedes should work at this store. How many of you like IKEA products?

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Ok so many of you are confused as to who, exactly, is Guy Fawkes. Well there was such a man living in England from 1570-1606. He died pretty young. Well he was a member of a Roman Catholic revolutionaries opposed to the new Protestant rule. The Gunpowder Plot was a plan by these men to blow up parliment and destroy the new protestant regime. While guarding the gun powder, his plan was foiled and he was captured. He was dressed as if he was ready to flee in a moments notice. When he was brought before parliment and questioned about all the gunpowder he was defiant and replied "To blow you Scotch beggars back to your own native mountains."(I like this guy. he gots moxy!) So he was tortured by special request of King James the First(the filthy beggar) and refused to give way any names of his co-conspirators until he saw others that were captured or heard they were dead. On the 31st of January 1606 he was to be hanged, drawn and quartered but he cheated death's plan by jumping off the scaffold and breaking his own neck before the fun began.

So on the 5th of November, called Guy Fawkes Night or Bonfire night, there is much merry making with fireworks to remember the man and plot that almost destroyed parliment, possibly something that could have changed England's rule forever. This holiday is celebrated worldwide by places where there was british rule and even here in America. In utah you can go to the bonfire in Highland( i know this because of the Scottish Association and they invite me every year) and you can burn effigies. There is also a menu associated with this holiday. You can go and read more about this time in history on Wiki-Wikipedia. There is a poem and other verses about this man and that fateful night: Remember, remember the Fifth of November, The Gunpowder Treason and Plot, I know of no reason Why Gunpowder Treason Should ever be forgot. Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent To blow up King and Parli'ment. Three-score barrels of powder below To prove old England's overthrow; By God's providence he was catch'd With a dark lantern and burning match. Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring. Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

I hope you enjoyed this history lesson. I suppose we should have a test at the end of the semester. But chances are I will cheat and look it up on wiki-wikipedia too! I hope you consider this holiday as a fun opportunity to learn more about other countries and their history and celebrate too. Happy Holidays!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

With school starting next month for our little sarah and my sister-in-law buying her pattern for halloween already, i have started to pull out christmas books and started thinking about costumes. Is this crazy or will i just be really prepared and not rushing at the last minute? I love halloween but i feel this HOA will really dampen our decorating skills since they have a ton of stupid rules. we can decorate one week before the holiday and that really just does not give us the month long feel of witches, skeletons, mummies, spiders etc. and the same with christmas. what is so wrong with decorating shamelessly and tacky for a full month before and after? so with that in mind i am thinking of my costume. tell me what you think of this one.Guy Fawkes

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

WARNINGAdult Contentwait, back up. let me start from the beginning. Yesterday Jeremy had secretly planned out an amazing date that can rival an anniversary. But he did it just cuz we needed a break from our new life here and from the kiddleywinks. So we decided on a restaurant that did not live up to its "fine dining" label. It was called Pomona Mining Co. It really did use to be a mine. We were laughing at all the decorations. They really have little overhead. It is all gravel with rusted up troughs and trailers, plus you eat out of really classy pie tins for the salad bar and drink from mason jars. plus the servers wear suspenders, jeans and flannel shirts. How is this considered "Fine Dining" when everyone dresses like Po' Folks? After dinner i thought we were going home. Boy, was i wrong. wrong by a long shot! Jeremy turned right instead of left and i reminded him that he was going the wrong way but he said " it should just lead us back to the freeway". I scoffed. So we were bending around the hill and came upon a national park entrance and i was saying "great you have to turn back now, it didn't lead to a freeway." so he turned right again looking for a place to turn around or so i thought. then i saw a sign, "Puddingstone Hot Tub Resort". I started laughing and said "ewwww that sound like boils and blisters and all kinds of diseases waiting to happen." So Jeremy pulled in making like he was gonna turn around and then parked and stopped the car. I looked at him like "what is going on?" he just smiled that old devilish smile at me and i started laughing! He had reserved us a tub overlooking the lake. It was kinda ghetto but it was private and he balloons, cider and a teddy bear in the tub club house waiting for me. This was just a date. so we shimmied out of our clothes into swim suits that he had packed secretly and we slid into a very relaxing hot tub. so we were watching the sunset and it was so amazing and then all of a sudden, i had to go to the bathroom. there were no bathrooms anywhere and i was not about to trapse up to the lodge in heels and my swimsuit like some plus sized Miss America. atleast the sun had gone down and i was wracking my brain trying to think how i was gonna relieve myself. standing over the giant potted plant didn't work for me. so i spotted the ashtray. you can imagine what happened next. it took 4 full ashtrays to get the job done. After each cup i had to dump it into the plant pot. Jeremy was laughing the whole way through it!