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Friday, 13 July 2012

Help..im a submissive get me out of here!

Inspired by lil's post "I want my husband to dominate me" which is what i like about blogging you read something and it gives you thoughts/ideas.

It can be very overwhelming coming to terms with accepting that your submissive and you yearn to be dominated, sometimes you have your own ideas about how that should be, what you would like to happen, there perhaps might be a little fear that you crave what you do because well its not normal is it? not in this day and age, you might wander if its just fantasy and try to push these feelings aside, but there there arent they? there not going to go away, you will think about it as you lie in bed waiting for sleep to come, you can get up in the morning and go about your day, distract yourself that everything will be ok, its a passing phase...some people can achieve that and not act on these thoughts for others it will build up and up and eventually you have to realise them.

Then comes the difficult part, what to do with these feelings, who to tell?, will they understand? when a lot of it you dont really understand yourself so if they have questions you cant answer because you probably dont have the answers as your looking for answers as well. I imagine for most people a first port of call is the internet, type in submission and the ball starts rolling, you may have many lightbulb moments of "oh that me" "yes thats what i want" but it also can be daunting and confusing the more you search whats out there the more information that hits and you realise that your not alone, far from it...breath a sigh of relief that its ok to have these feelings.

Type in domination and that opens up a whole different perspective, might make you question if you are indeed actually submissive because your ideas of being submissive does not involve being controlled to that extent, but your not sure actually because it excites you when you read it and your curiosity drives you to discover more. A pause to rethink and take it all in, so many different variations out there you wander where you fit into it all if you do at all, you see images that turn you on and ones that horrify and make you want to go running away from it all.

You have all this information at your fingertips but what are you going to do with it? if your at this point your most likely not going to walk away you have come too far, it needs to be explored whether to find out if it is indeed just a phase or fantasty and one you need to get out of your system or its more than that....it can change your life, turn it upside down and inside out..and the journey begins.

Oh that is a question i dont think i have an answer for but (always a but lol) it depends i guess on how much importance you place on that need to be dominated but thats not really an answer....jury is still out on that one.

My current working theory is that you actually can't be a submissive (even unknown) and not end up with someone who is unwilling. That is how the biorhythms, olfactory nerves work. At least that is my current theory. No proof of course, and probably plenty of anecdotal evidence in the opposite direction.

Tori: Another very good post. I think you are right that you can't push these feelings aside. They are not going to go away. It is not a passing phase. It is part of your DNA. And, yes, the Internet helps you realize you are not alone and it is OK to have these feelings. I used to think nobody else had these feelings. But if you read the book a Billion Wicked Thoughts, you learn that whatever tickles your fancy, there are other people with the same thoughts.

And, yes, there are many different variations. But your feelings are right for you. It doesn't matter that other people have different ones. Yes, it can change your life and I think yours has been changed. You are fortunate to be finding out and exploring what works for you.

Joy struggles with exactly this dilemma all the time, tori. It is a source of much frustration for both her and I, but it is also a source of excitement, because what is more exciting that doing something you feel is naughty or forbidden?

I keep thinking we're eventually going to get past the whole issue and come to accept TTWD as our version of "normality". So far, though, not so much. We have made some progress, but it's kind of a "two steps forward, one step back" scenario.

I think it is a dilemma at times so i can understand how Joy struggles with it, i am inclined to agree with you there is that element of excitment because well we shouldnt like these things we do should we?.

Its baby steps i think and yes sometimes you feel like its not going anywhere but there is progress albeit slow progess.