Diary

We sympathise with Lord West of Spithead, for the task of being Gordon's oracle on counter-terrorism is difficult, and it doesn't make him popular. This week, as the minister - formerly First Sea Lord - warned of terrorist plots in gestation, the result was not general gratitude but a bruising from the Tories. Maybe the pressure is starting to show. On Monday, questioned about detention periods abroad, he said, rather petulantly one might think: "I did not intend to go into that in detail. I get into enough trouble as it is - but I assure you that you are bloody lucky to live in this country. I also never cease to be amazed how people who despise and hate our country and who are here illegally fight tooth and nail to avoid being sent to any other jurisdiction. I try to send them to all sorts of others, but they do not want to go to any of them." Perhaps the problem is how he frames the offer. As a politician, he makes a good sailor.

• After another payout by Express Newspapers for untruths surrounding the Madeleine McCann case - £550,000 to her parents in March, £375,000 to others yesterday - one wonders how the issue is affecting readers. But a peek at the Daily Star news forum shows they are thinking about various things. "Is it time for hardcore porn to be banned?" is one topic, and though Richard Desmond is too busy to get involved, there is Adam, who argues that "hardcore porn is the best kind of porn ever," and then repeats the word "porn" 530 times for emphasis. Des and his crew bring something to this island life. There must be a vaccine.

• So our Olympians were paraded in London yesterday - rather belatedly, one might think - and different people reacted in different ways. The Australians seemed glum, having been beaten by Team GB, but the scenes will have been better received in France, where Jean-Pierre Jouyet, the French secretary of state for European affairs, has apparently suggested that all Europe's medals in 2012 be represented as one grand, world-beating total. Carla could write the anthem for the winners. Magnifique.

• As the presidential candidates battle on, another headache for Lyndon LaRouche, the American former convict who leads the shadowy Schiller Institute and who has had eight notably unsuccessful tilts at becoming president. The electorate never seems to think much of him, and neither do campaigners who continue to link the organisation to the death in 2003 of Jeremiah Duggan. The London student went to a LaRouche event unaware that his host has been condemned by leading Jewish organisations as an anti-semite. After six days in this fine company and in circumstances that have never been fully explained, Jeremiah was found dead after being struck by two fast-moving vehicles in Wiesbaden. There was a fairly shoddy inquiry by the German authorities, a UK inquest that ruled out suicide and a lot of fuss from campaigners, and then things went relatively quiet, which was much to Schiller's liking. But today in Germany, former disciples, experts and politicians from Britain, the US, France and from Germany itself meet to brainstorm about the group's activities. Simon Hughes, Lib Dem president, will be among them. Perhaps Lyndon will swing by. He'd be very, very welcome.

• With Tottenham Hotspur at the foot of the Premier League, their worst start to a season since 1912, it is time to consult the new edition of Tottenham Hotspur, Player By Player, published by Know The Score Books. "Spurs haven't quite reached Glory Glory Hallelujah territory yet, but at least they are on the march again, with a place among the Premier League elite firmly in their sights, it tells us. "As to the club's future, it looks brighter than for many a long year." The writer is Ivan Ponting, long a successful writer of football books. Now a Mystic Mogg for sport.

• Finally it has vodka, peach schnapps, orange and cranberry juice; delicious with ice and a wedge of lime. But if the libidinous expats of Dubai find they have no appetite for the cocktail known as Sex on the Beach, who can blame them? Tea anyone? Coffee?