Cory Booker Thinks He’s Fat

Booker also talked about his dramatic weight loss, telling dinner guests he “has lost 40 pounds and has 30 to go.” Booker recently spent a week living on food stamps when he said he lost a lot of weight. But Booker — who also doesn’t drink and is cutting back on caffeine — quoted Abraham Lincoln, saying, “It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.”

First of all, bringing up the notion that food stamps are a great dieting tool seems like something you would find in a very right leaning paper (I love the New York Post very much, but this is still true, and maybe not entirely accurate).

I feel like it’s important for me to reassure Cory Booker in all caps because Cory Booker is my imaginary boyfriend. Well, sometimes Cory Booker is my imaginary boyfriend. Sometimes I think he is a super villain staging elaborate stunts to trick people into thinking he is a hero so he will be elected president, and then he will take over the world. But, even if that is the case I think he should be allowed to eat donuts because he works hard.