A tribute to Ken Stabler, baddest man on the planet

Still covered in sweat and turf from Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum, badass Stabler leaves the field. The Raiders beat the Patriots 24-21 in the 1976 playoff opener, on a one-yard Stabler TD run.

Still covered in sweat and turf from Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum, badass Stabler leaves the field. The Raiders beat the Patriots 24-21 in the 1976 playoff opener, on a one-yard Stabler TD run.

Photo: Dave Randolph / The Chronicle

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Stabler in 1971, with markings from the Chronicle photo desk -- this was likely our only photo of Stabler for years. He was drafted in 1968, but George Blanda and Daryle Lamonica started until 1973.

Stabler in 1971, with markings from the Chronicle photo desk -- this was likely our only photo of Stabler for years. He was drafted in 1968, but George Blanda and Daryle Lamonica started until 1973.

Photo: Chronicle file

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Ken Stabler talks with fellow badass and Oakland QB/kicker George Blanda before a Dec. 22, 1973 playoff game against the Steelers. This wasn't old timer's day. Blanda, at 46, played two more years.

Ken Stabler talks with fellow badass and Oakland QB/kicker George Blanda before a Dec. 22, 1973 playoff game against the Steelers. This wasn't old timer's day. Blanda, at 46, played two more years.

Photo: UPI

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A youthful-looking Ken Stabler reads the Chronicle's Sporting Green in 1974, after a end-of-season win over Dallas. The Raiders would beat Miami, then lose to Super Bowl IX champion Pittsburgh.

A youthful-looking Ken Stabler reads the Chronicle's Sporting Green in 1974, after a end-of-season win over Dallas. The Raiders would beat Miami, then lose to Super Bowl IX champion Pittsburgh.

Photo: Associated Press

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Stabler suns himself at a Miami Beach hotel, with wife Debbie, before the 1975 Pro Bowl. Compare his body to, say, Colin Kaepernick. I'd still rather have Stabler watch my back in a bar fight. #badass

Stabler suns himself at a Miami Beach hotel, with wife Debbie, before the 1975 Pro Bowl. Compare his body to, say, Colin Kaepernick. I'd still rather have Stabler watch my back in a bar fight. #badass

Photo: UPI photo

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Ken Stabler, in a Chronicle file photo from 1973. The black marks on the photo are crop marks. The dates represent all the times the photo was used in the Sporting Green.

Ken Stabler, in a Chronicle file photo from 1973. The black marks on the photo are crop marks. The dates represent all the times the photo was used in the Sporting Green.

Photo: Chronicle file / The Chronicle

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The John Denver years: Stabler in a Prince Valiant cut signs a contract extension in early 1975, next to his coach John Madden. This would be the last time he shaved or combed his hair until 1985.

The John Denver years: Stabler in a Prince Valiant cut signs a contract extension in early 1975, next to his coach John Madden. This would be the last time he shaved or combed his hair until 1985.

Photo: Gary Fong / The Chronicle

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Arguably the two baddest men in Bay Area sports history, Stabler and Will Clark, weren't much for the weight room. He looks confused here, like he's trying to remember where he left his car keys.

Arguably the two baddest men in Bay Area sports history, Stabler and Will Clark, weren't much for the weight room. He looks confused here, like he's trying to remember where he left his car keys.

Photo: Associated Press

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Has any man in history made a turtleneck look cooler? The QB feeds his horses in late 1976, during the Raiders' Super Bowl XI run. Also known as Stabler's "Most Interesting Man in the World" phase.

Has any man in history made a turtleneck look cooler? The QB feeds his horses in late 1976, during the Raiders' Super Bowl XI run. Also known as Stabler's "Most Interesting Man in the World" phase.

Photo: Associated Press

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Stabler boards a plane at Oakland Airport in early 1977, heading off to play Super Bowl XI. Fans reach out like he's a religious figure. Was there any doubt the Raiders would bring back a title?

Stabler boards a plane at Oakland Airport in early 1977, heading off to play Super Bowl XI. Fans reach out like he's a religious figure. Was there any doubt the Raiders would bring back a title?

Photo: Susan Ehmer / The Chronicle

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Fred Biletnikoff and Stabler celebrate after the Raiders defeated the Vikings at Super Bowl XI in Pasadena. At this point his knees were like two bags of gravel. Still brought home the title ...

Fred Biletnikoff and Stabler celebrate after the Raiders defeated the Vikings at Super Bowl XI in Pasadena. At this point his knees were like two bags of gravel. Still brought home the title ...

Photo: AP File 1977

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Stabler looking very uncomfortable, with Fran Tarkenton and Epstein from "Welcome Back Kotter" on the "Donny and Marie Show." Not endorsing this. It's like putting giant novelty glasses on Secretariat.

Stabler looking very uncomfortable, with Fran Tarkenton and Epstein from "Welcome Back Kotter" on the "Donny and Marie Show." Not endorsing this. It's like putting giant novelty glasses on Secretariat.

Photo: Associated Press / The Chronicle

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Stabler, looking more like Jesus than ever at Raiders Family Day in Santa Rosa. I'm hoping that Stabler signed this guy's autograph: ''Lose the bucket hat and ugly tank top. -Ken Stabler #12''

Stabler, looking more like Jesus than ever at Raiders Family Day in Santa Rosa. I'm hoping that Stabler signed this guy's autograph: ''Lose the bucket hat and ugly tank top. -Ken Stabler #12''

Photo: Stephanie Maze / The Chronicle

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Ken Stabler's Chronicle file photo from 1978.

Ken Stabler's Chronicle file photo from 1978.

Photo: Chronicle file / The Chronicle

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Let's give the Raiders offensive line and fullback Mark van Eeghen credit for some solid pocket protection here. Stabler goes back for a pass in 1977 against the Buffalo Bills.

Let's give the Raiders offensive line and fullback Mark van Eeghen credit for some solid pocket protection here. Stabler goes back for a pass in 1977 against the Buffalo Bills.

Photo: Terry Schmitt / The Chronicle

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Spoke too soon. Stabler after one too many trips to the turf. Can't tell if this lineman is helping Stabler up, or if Stabler is trying to pull him to the ground so he can kick his ass.

Spoke too soon. Stabler after one too many trips to the turf. Can't tell if this lineman is helping Stabler up, or if Stabler is trying to pull him to the ground so he can kick his ass.

Photo: Terry Schmitt / The Chronicle

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''Sorry Ken, there appears to be no cartilage left in either knee ...'' Stabler watches after another knee injury against the Bills. Someone should have at least brought him a cigarette.

''Sorry Ken, there appears to be no cartilage left in either knee ...'' Stabler watches after another knee injury against the Bills. Someone should have at least brought him a cigarette.

Photo: Terry Schmitt / The Chronicle

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Ken Stabler owns this shepherd's jacket outside his Alabama bar Lefty's in early 1979. The photo was taken during his controversy surrounding the false arrest of Sacramento Bee writer Bob Padecky.

Ken Stabler owns this shepherd's jacket outside his Alabama bar Lefty's in early 1979. The photo was taken during his controversy surrounding the false arrest of Sacramento Bee writer Bob Padecky.

Photo: UPI photo

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''You've got to know when to hold 'em/Know when to fold 'em ...'' After one of many holdouts/threats to leave, Stabler was traded to to the Houston Oilers (coached by Bum Phillips) for Dan Pastorini.

''You've got to know when to hold 'em/Know when to fold 'em ...'' After one of many holdouts/threats to leave, Stabler was traded to to the Houston Oilers (coached by Bum Phillips) for Dan Pastorini.

Photo: UPI photo

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Ken Stabler's Chronicle file photo from 1980, shortly after he was traded to the Oilers.

Ken Stabler's Chronicle file photo from 1980, shortly after he was traded to the Oilers.

Photo: Chronicle file / The Chronicle

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Stabler, looking like King Theoden from "Lord of the Rings" during his final year with the New Orleans Saints, where he spent two seasons. The quarterback retired at age 38.

Stabler, looking like King Theoden from "Lord of the Rings" during his final year with the New Orleans Saints, where he spent two seasons. The quarterback retired at age 38.

Photo: Associated Press

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Two years after retirement and revealing his shorn face for the first time in 10 years, Raiders quarterback Ken Stabler signs his book "Snake" at Stacey's Bookstore on Market Street.

Two years after retirement and revealing his shorn face for the first time in 10 years, Raiders quarterback Ken Stabler signs his book "Snake" at Stacey's Bookstore on Market Street.

Photo: Michael Maloney / The Chronicle

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Ken Stabler at his Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame induction in 2000.

Ken Stabler at his Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame induction in 2000.

Photo: Carlos Avila Gonzalez / The Chronicle

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One more of Stabler stumbling off the field with after scoring the game-winning rushing touchdown during his Super Bowl XI run. See the looks on his teammates' faces? They respect their leader.

One more of Stabler stumbling off the field with after scoring the game-winning rushing touchdown during his Super Bowl XI run. See the looks on his teammates' faces? They respect their leader.

Photo: Dave Randolph / The Chronicle

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A tribute to Ken Stabler, baddest man on the planet

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Growing up as a 49ers fan, I’ve had few complaints. I was born in 1970, and suffered very little as a fan before the team won its first of five Super Bowls. We had tough guys and smart coaches, arguably the best signal caller of all time, and running backs and receivers who were a blast to watch. Our lean times have never seemed totally hopeless, and just when the Eddie DeBartolo years started to feel like a distant memory, his nephew took over as owner and displayed some of the same qualities.

But I’ve still always looked at the team across the bay with a little bit of envy. Because they had Kenny Stabler.

Stabler was a good quarterback and fun to watch, but he represented something more. He was everything great about the latter half of the 1970s, with none of the crappy stuff from that era. Stabler was like a Burt Reynolds movie, Willie Nelson song and Bounty paper towel ad, wrapped into one grizzly hard-living package.

I like the way David Martin summed it up, when I posted a photo of Stabler with Bum Phillips earlier this week on Twitter:

Look in the photos I’ve assembled from the Chronicle photo morgue (above), and you’ll see a man who is aging in dog years. He started his NFL career as a 23-year-old who looked 19, and ended as a 38-year-old who looked 70. And yet he kept on slinging. Ken Stabler doubled down on life. And that’s why this 49ers fan is paying tribute.

* I love Stabler’s look in the above photo. He couldn’t appear more uncomfortable if he was strapped to an electric chair.

* I’m trying to think who could play Ken Stabler in a 2013 movie. There’s literally no one. Charlie Hunnam? Way too wussy. Ryan Gosling? Way, way too wussy. Heath Ledger might have been able to pull it off. Maybe Viggo Mortensen if he trained by smoking two packs a day. Who am I missing?

* My favorite quote from Stabler, printed in Sports Illustrated in 1979, when the quarterback was feuding with the media and Raiders owner Al Davis. This sums up the credo of the American male in the 1970s:

“It was just that (the media) were questioning my life-style. Hell, my life-style hasn’t changed in 20 years. It was all right when we won the Super Bowl, but then we lost some games, and all of a sudden I’m a fat drunk, out of shape, overweight and all that.

“To be perfectly honest, I’m not going to change, because I don’t know any other way. I’m going to live the way I want to live. I don’t think it distracts me from doing what I want to do during the season. People say, ‘You can’t do those things as you get older.’ Well, if I can’t, and it hurts my game, I’ll get out. But I’m not going to let football control my entire life. I play and I work as hard as I can, and in the off-season I do the things I like to do. That’s not going to change.”

* Stabler was a Saint, not a (lowercase) saint. But the above quote aside, Ken Stabler has done a lot of charity work since his retirement, and by all accounts I’ve seen was a good father who adores his three daughters and grandchildren. The story of sports writer Bob Padecky’s mysterious arrest — covered here in Sports Illustrated — still makes me wonder. But I like to think he was a good guy. I’m sure Raiders fans will let me know in the comments.

* I normally like stat geeks, but not when you’re discussing whether Ken Stabler should be in the Hall of Fame. True, he threw 28 more interceptions than touchdowns in his career. Only his 1974 and 1976 years would be benificial to anyone’s fantasy team. But the numbers that matter to me are the 96-49-1 record, the Super Bowl win, and the seven playoff wins — including three playoff comebacks.

Society is more conscious now about the ramifications of living life like a gambler, which is why we won’t see many more Ken Stablers. It’s probably better that I live in a world where guys eat kale and do yoga. It will increase my chances of living to 100. I’m sure Stabler has paid for some of the hard living and all of the gutty play on the field — it’s a shock to me that he continues to walk at age 67.

So why would a 49ers fan be drawn to Ken Stabler? It follows the same psychology of a good girl being attracted to the bad boy with the cool car. I liked Stabler for the same reason I liked San Francisco running back Paul Hofer. The West Coast offense of the 1980s was about precision and reliability and the future. We had plenty of winners, but not a lot of gamblers.

The Snake was a fleeting product of his time. And that makes me appreciate him even more.

PETER HARTLAUB is the pop culture critic at the San Francisco Chronicle and founder/editor of The Big Event. He takes requests. Contact him at phartlaub@sfchronicle.com. Follow him on Twitter @peterhartlaub. Follow The Big Event on Facebook.