11 August 2008

Not Remembering

Some old photographs were passed around as we worked on the beer, wine and whisky. Sometimes I think everybody still looks much like they did decades ago but we do not. We are all starting to look more and more like Willie Nelson and less and less like Sid Vicious.

There were several photos of a titty show at a big bike show in

Motherfucking, Alberta. To give you an idea of how old the photos were, all the titties were real. I have nothing against the global titties doctors install in lots of women theses days but they cannot beat the real thing.

"You remember that night at the titty show Beer?" asked Curly as he emptied yet another beer into his thick beard.

"No."

"Me neither."

Not remembering a fucking thing the next day was our specialty in those days.

"Good thing we took some fucking pictures."

"Actually there is one thing I remember after all these years."

"What's that?"

"When we rolled into Motherfucking we could not find our motel because we were too shitfaced so we just parked our bikes in a parking lot and passed out until the cops woke us up the next morning."

"Hey, I do remember that too. We passed out half a block from the cop shop. The fucking cops were asking us if we had rolled into their redneck town to meet up with the Grim Reapers at the bike show. They figured our packs were full of dope but they could not think of a good reason to search us that morning."

"Some of those pigs have got good instincts."

"When you expect the worst out of people it is surprising how often you are right on the fucking money."

"I think they were ready to roust us anyway until one of the fat fuckers spotted the portrait of Anne Murray you had painted on your tank. He scratched his head so hard after he saw that his skull started bleeding."

"Some people put their faith in the Virgin Mary. I put mine in Canada's Sweetheart."

...desire is nothing but opinion maturing for action...

About Beer

Guiding (Bertuzzi) principle - The most desirable condition of the human species is to get together at the hockey rink and have a few beers.
The injustice and violence of men in a hockey rink having a few beers produced the demand for ushers.
Ushers, as they were forced upon men having a few beers at the rink became common place, a creature of the paying hockey fan's ignorance and mistake.
Ushers were intended to suppress injustice, but they offered new occasions and temptations for the commission of it.
By concentrating the force of the community, it gives occasion to wild projects of calamity, to oppression, despotism, war and conquest - sometimes beer sales are even cut off during the third period.
By perpetuating and aggravating the inability to get drunk in public ushers foster men's injurious passions, and excites men to the practice of butt ending and high sticking, breaking necks and in some areas to throw dead seafood onto the ice.
Ushers were intended to suppress injustice, but their effect has been to embody and perpetuate it.