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Random Retro Anecdotes

I broke out some old systems, cracked open some Retro Gamer magazines, and got sucked into a few divagating Retronauts podcast (also known as "The Talking Over Each Other With Random Musical Interludes" podcast). During this brief descent into retro madness, I recalled all the random stories I associated with the games I'd played, had, or wished I owned.

I'd love to hear about how you guys discovered games or systems, became fanboys/girls of a particular series, game or console (maker), had a game stolen from you at school, or wasted heaps of your allowance on shitty-heap titles and had to make the best of it.

Here are a few of mine (these are brief, poorly written, and not necessarily awesome. I'm tired and sick of typing. Leave me alone. I'll have more later):

• Remember the first cutscene in Ninja Gaiden where Ryo is shot, and then a screen pops up announcing the beginning of Stage 2? For an entire decade I didn't know that the cutscene continues after that screen. I always pressed start beforehand thinking the cutscene was over.

• I had no idea there was music in the original Half Life. I played it with a friend, and I guess he turned the volume off. It's way creepier that way.

• The version of the original Playstation I bought featured updated piracy protection, which inadvertently glitched-up the pack-in demo disc. Because I was poor as fuck, I didn't have any money to buy a game, and I didn't know anyone else at the time with a PS I could borrow games from. I had no way to test whether the glitch was limited to the demo or if there was something wrong with the system. I took it back to EB and explained my problem. The manager did this: He tested another demo disc in my system. Then he tested my demo disc in another system. He never tested my demo disc in my system, so he couldn't replicated the exact problem I had. He proceeded to call me an idiot for wasting his time, and then scolded my mom for letting her moron kid play around with this expensive piece of machinery. I would work for that same EB years later, and learned he was fired for gross incompetence and probably stealing tons of merchandise. I discovered the glitch's provenance months later in a magazine.

• The only reason I bought an SNES over a Genesis is because of the sound chip. I'm not even kidding.

I'm sure I can add more later but the one right off of the top of my head:

My parents bought me Wild Arms for PSOne shortly after it came out and when I got home I immediately played it. Two hours in, there is a death in the game then a funeral scene happens and the credits role. I had no idea what had just happened, thinking maybe I made a mistake and the character wasn't suppose to die. Come to find out, it was just part of the story (with the odd mixture of running the credits at the same time).

When I was growing up my parents didn't have much money, so they bought me little throughout the year, but they went all out for Christmas. I could usually snag a system if it wasn't too much money then. Around when I was 14 or 15 I really wanted a Sega CD, but it was well over $200 still and out of the question for a Christmas present, so I never even mentioned it to my parents.

I have a bud that I grew up with whose mom lived here and dad lived in the mountains, and I went with him to visit his dad for a weekend and found out that a friend of his had a Sega CD he didn't really play with anymore. He wanted to sell for $30, a ridiculous price. My only source of income was mowing lawns, so being November or so I had no cash to buy it. This drove me insane. Being close to Christmas, I dropped a strong hint to my bud that he might want to mention something to my parents that this might make a great Christmas present.

A few weeks later, probably about two weeks before Christmas, my parents went out on Saturday to their bowling league. I knew they wouldn't be back for about 3 or 4 hours at least, and they took my Dad's car, so I thought I would be sneaky and check the trunk of my Mom's car.

What did I find? Paydirt! A Sega CD model 2! And a pile of games from our local independent store that had been marking many of their older used games on clearance. I don't remember all of the games, but I'm pretty sure there was Terminator CD, Final Fight CD, and Wing Commander in there, all used but complete. The Sega CD had no box to speak of, so I pulled everything out, set it up, and spent a glorious night playing all of these fantastic games. When it hit about 10 o'clock, I unplugged everything and put it back in the trunk of the car. Since everything was used, they had no way of knowing I had played everything.

My mom used to teach elementary school. I used to have to go to work with her for reasons I can't recall. There was an Atari 2600 in one of the rooms. I remember playing Jaws (maybe? it was some fucking shark game) and ET. It made me so not interested in video games. Even then I knew they were shit.

Much later I got an NES with mother fucking Zelda. Blew my mind.

Also, I still have a stand alone Pong game thing. Haters gonna hate.

Originally Posted by Brisco Bold

• Remember the first cutscene in Ninja Gaiden where Ryo is shot, and then a screen pops up announcing the beginning of Stage 2? For an entire decade I didn't know that the cutscene continues after that screen. I always pressed start beforehand thinking the cutscene was over.

I made a VHS tape of all the cutscenes from the first 3 games. I am positive I still have it somewhere.

I ended up buying a PS1 after watching my friend's little brother play FFVII and summon one of the titan materia guys (the one where a giant dude rips up a huge chunk of the ground and throws it). I was floored by how cool it was and then he mentioned he was going to eventually get this summon called Knights of The Round. The way he described it (he'd never seen it) sounded so awesome that I knew I just had to see it no matter what. Despite playing FFVII for several hundred hours over the years, I've never once actually seen the summon. Not in game, not on someone else's game, not even on Youtube. That feels shitty!

I ended up buying a PS1 after watching my friend's little brother play FFVII and summon one of the titan materia guys (the one where a giant dude rips up a huge chunk of the ground and throws it). I was floored by how cool it was and then he mentioned he was going to eventually get this summon called Knights of The Round. The way he described it (he'd never seen it) sounded so awesome that I knew I just had to see it no matter what. Despite playing FFVII for several hundred hours over the years, I've never once actually seen the summon. Not in game, not on someone else's game, not even on Youtube. That feels shitty!

I've seen it so many times (Emerald Weapon) that I can remember every fucking second of it.

Back when it was newish, I had borrowed it from someone and played through it. I wasn't great at games at the time, but I could always get to the World Circuit and maybe make it to the second Don Flamenco or Mr. Sandman or something. A little bit older, and I could beat Super Macho Man, but could never even dream of taking out Tyson. I thought it was impossible, but there was that one guy who was the son of the dude that owned the local game shop, and HE could beat Tyson. I saw him do it once, my mind was blown.

Fast forward to just a few years ago. I'm much better at gaming, Famiclones had started to become popular and I grabbed one and bought a copy of Punch Out from Funcoland. I will have my revenge. A few years later, I finally took the motherfucker down. That was the greatest feeling of accomplishment I've ever felt in gaming. It took me what, almost 20 years?

I can pretty much kick his ass at will now, but only on real hardware, I can't seem to beat him on emulation. I'm not sure if it's the emulation, or the controller, or what.