Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror.-George
Carlin

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only time we
can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.-Dick
Gregory

Baseball is what we were, and football is what we have become.-Mary
McGrory

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see
a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?-Jim
Bouton

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only
a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are crated equal.-George
F. Will

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player.
It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.-Casey
Stengel

Cricket is baseball on Valium.-Robin Williams

Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of ten and you're a
Hall of Famer.-Denis Leary

I am convinced that God wanted me to be a baseball player. I was born to
play baseball.-Roberto Clemente

I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000
years from now when they study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz
music, and baseball.-Gerald Early

I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet
on baseball.-Pete Rose

If baseball were any slower, it'd be farming.-Roger Rittenhouse

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire
looked like.-Phyllis Diller

In the final analysis, opera is a poor substitute for baseball.-Unattributed

Let there be joy in baseball again, like in the days when Babe Ruth
chased an enemy sportswriter down the streets of Boston and ended up
getting drunk with him on the waterfront and came back the next day
munching on hotdogs and boomed home runs to the glory of God.-Jack
Kerouac

Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents
off the streets.-Yogi Berra

Monday, n. In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.-Ambrose
Bierce

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in
Italian.-George Jean Nathan

Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about
their feelings is the same as saying that women talk about their
feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.-Deborah Tannen

Studio executives are intelligent, brutally overworked men and women who
share one thing in common with baseball managers: They wake up every
morning of the world with the knowledge that sooner or later they're
going to get fired.-William Goldman

The difference between politics and baseball is that in baseball, when
you get caught stealing, you're out.-Ron Dentinger

The French don't have a baseball team. And if they did, there'd only be
a left field, and no one would be safe.-Robin Williams

The highlight of my baseball career came in Philadelphia's Connie Mack
Stadium when I saw a fan fall out of the upper deck. When he got up and
walked away, the crowd booed.-Bob Uecker

The Maker of the universe with stars a hundred thousand light-years
apart was interested, furious, and very personal about it if a small boy
played baseball on Sunday afternoon.-Sinclair Lewis

Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published
every day, like those of a baseball player.-Unattributed

Three strikes, you're out. I don't care if you hire Edward Bennett
Williams to defend you; three strikes, you're still out. Baseball is an
island of stability in an unstable world.-Bill Veeck

Watching baseball under the lights is like observing dogs indoors, at a
pedigree show. In both instances, the environment is too controlled to
suit the species.-Melvin Maddocks

You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in
the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time. (In
the book "Ball Four")-Jim Bouton