Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I would first off like the thank everyone for all the positive feed back that I've gotten regarding Evans and his less than enthusiastic approach to preschool. I love reading from all my new commenters so I hope that y'all will keep it up. Seriously, it makes my day. And what a day it was. I spent all day with my aunt's sick infant only to be told (after I forced her to go to the doctor) that there was nothing wrong with him. I'm thrilled to hear this news but Jack.........would you like to explain to me what all the screaming going on this morning was? Did ya just decide that you hated me or something? When my aunt got home from the doctor's appointment Evans and I bolted because Evans desperately needed a nap before Buddy's birthday dinner in a fancy restaurant. Already there are so many red flags that should be going up to all mothers. (desperately needing a nap and fancy restaurant were the buzz words if you didn't catch them). Evans did sleep for about 45 minutes so Susie and I dolled him up in his fanciest longall and tossed him the car. One of the jobs that Susie was in charge of was putting on Evans shoes. She slapped those things on and tied up quickly and we were on our way. About 5 minutes into the drive I glanced over and something seemed a bit off. Way off. Like left and right shoe wrong.Umm-hmmmm, yes. These shoes are definitely on the wrong feet. No wonder this kid can't walk! I always let Susie put the shoes on and now I have no idea how many times before this has happened. Ha ha. I'm sure none but Lord we got a good laugh at it when I noticed it. Didn't seem to bother Evans.

We got to the restaurant, had a drink, chatted, feed Evans a meatball, watched Evans drive his dump truck over the meatball and then up the sleeve of Aunt Mimi. We ordered food and wine and this is really I think when things started to go downhill. As the waiter was pouring Mommy's glass of red wine Evans got a little over excited and crashed his dump truck into it, spilling wine all over the table. Blood pressure and anxiety begin a slow rise. In all fairness, I do think that he just got excited and that he didn't mean to knock it over. When I looked so shocked and turned to scold him he leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. I honestly think it scared him just as much. Mess was cleaned crisis averted. Entrees are brought out to the table and as I was about to dig into my Pasti Rigati Arrabiatta pasta the one and only dump truck whizzed past my face at the speed of light and onto the floor. This was just the beginning of the nuclear meltdown that ensued. He was obviously angry about something, who knows what but I resigned myself to eating out of a doggie bag that night. I took Evans to the car past people staring at the screaming child who will likely get a beating in the car! :) Oh my gosh, he can scream so loud. And only in situations that require immediate evacuation plans! There was no dawdling, it was cold outside and thankfully I managed to snag my coat and mom's car keys.

In the chilly car we watch a few videos of Dinosaur Train until I decided I should probably take this time out oppertunity and run over to Publix to pick Evans up some milk. As I was about to pull out my sister came running to the car and said she would come. Off to the grocery. I went in for milk and came out with FOUR bottles of wine as well. Impulse shopping? Oh well, nice wine never hurts! I should have unscrewed a bottle right then and there. We headed back to the restaurant just in time to pick up the childless diners and my doggie bag. Evans and I are going to have to come to an agreement on these temper issues. Basically the deal will ask that he stop all ridiculous behavior that his mother does not deem appropriate. Seems fair?

It was a fun night to celebrate Buddy's birthday! Evans made it up to everyone when we got home by crawling around like a maniac and kissing and hugging on whomever he stopped in front of. Mainly mama! Rage report tomorrow and stay tuned to find our Evans' favorite bed time comfort item. It's just so soft and snuggly, you will probably want to buy one for every child you know!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I have to admit, Evans looked pretty darn fabulous for school this morning. His choice of longall was stunning and I must say that he has fantastic taste in children's clothing. I let him pick out his clothes completely by himself. At the very least, he looked good. Apparently he did not act quite as good as he looked at school today. We avoided any major meltdowns this morning at drop off but I did dash out the door rather quickly and I could have missed it. I chose to picture him playing happily with other children when I left and not of him crying for me. However, when a teacher carried him out to the car this afternoon at pick-up I immediately saw that his "emergency binky" was clipped to his outfit. Oh hell. I'm pretty sure I even said it out loud in the car to myself. Here was the report from the teacher (keep in mind, his actual teacher doesn't bring him to the car so it is a message relayed from the real teacher). "Evans had a tough day and he cried a lot of the time". Oh boy. What do you even say to that?

"Sorry my child was such a pain in the butt today"? "Why was he crying, did you beat him"?"Can you tell me the exact nature as to why he was crying"?

But my mind blanked and I happily said "see you on Friday"! I know that kids cry all the time when dropped off at school but it is semi concerning to me that my son would cry ENOUGH that his teacher couriered the message out to me in the car. I'm even more concerned that if this continues then his teachers will grow to hate Tuesdays and Fridays when that whiny Evans Deaner comes to school. Oh my gosh, I bet they don't like him already! Can children get expelled from preschool? What if they suggest nicely that he not come back to school anymore? On the exact day that I wrote the tuition check! It's a really good thing that I already sent in the money for the Tiffany necklace teacher Christmas gifts! Evans might have to send in a Tiffany necklace of his own if he keeps this up. And I'm not loaning him the money either! :)

My poor baby. This whole school thing is stressful. I mean, I am really trying to be funny about it and truthfully I haven't lost (much) sleep over it at night but I will be nervous for his Friday report. We can't have three bad days in a row. He took a three hour nap. I guess all that crying at preschool wore him out. He did look really cute this morning and he matched Buddy's tie!In other news, I spent an embarrassing amount of time today debating which Vera Bradley pattern I wanted to pick for my new weekend luggage. The pattern that I have now I have had since high school and it is getting pretty battered. VB is horrible luggage to fly with because it gets dirty fast and the way they throw your bags around in the airport, it tears easily. So I really only use mine if I'm going on a road trip. I am getting a new large duffel bag and the Miller bag which is a GREAT carry on for long flights with children. One might have thought that I was actually fretting over a serious life changing decision. I think my blood pressure was a bit elevated. Finally, I made the decision, announced it to my mom and sister and felt immediately relieved. Then I scrolled down an inch to "add to cart" only to see the words written in red "out of stock online". Are you kidding me? Most normal people would have then been able to say to themselves, "oh well, at least I liked the other one just as much". Not me. I INSTANTLY wanted the one that was sold out. Bad. Deep breaths. Think about it Gleatie. We are talking about a bag here. Let it go. Yes, the other pattern will be just fine, thank you. Until tomorrow.........

Monday, November 28, 2011

I don't want to call my son out or anything but he has developed quite the temper as of late. He spent the weekend before last with his dad so I attributed much of it to not being on a regular schedule and hardly sleeping. We are past the point of blaming it on that now. The thing is, the funniest things make him angry. I mean I wouldn't want him to act like that in public but I've found myself chuckling several times in the past few weeks. As it turns out, we really don't need to own 3/4ths of the toys that we do. Evans is perfectly happy to roll a 2 liter bottle of diet coke around the house for hours. Until he encounters his arch nemesis, otherwise known as the threshold. I don't know what is wrong with him but if he can't roll whatever it is he is playing with over the threshold the first time, all hell breaks loose. He. cannot. handle. it. Rage ensues. I'd be lying to say that it is not mildly concerning. I have chosen the above picture because it illustrates how some of the thresholds are in my parent's house. You can't really tell by his face in this picture but he was ticked. Here are a couple of pictures that better show the emotions he was experiencing.It was at this point that I made the executive decision that his night had concluded. Time for bed. We are going to have to work on this little problem that has developed. So, I know I can't leave these pictures without commenting on Evans' mouth ornament. In true canine fashion, he doesn't go many places anymore without carrying something in his mouth. This just happens to be the top of a sippy cup. I don't know where he got it because he has certainly not ever used a cup like this. I wonder if he realizes that there is not actually a cup attached to the lid. Every time the lid fell out of his mouth he would stop whatever he was doing to pick it up and put it back in his mouth. Too funny.

Tomorrow is a school day! Woo-hoo!! Hopefully no physical ailments will plague us during the night. I need a well rested, well fed and well groomed child tomorrow who can come home with a better report from his teacher than "tired and cranky". The tuition check is in his backpack and I do not pay for reports like that. Let's be honest, I'd rather be lied to. :) Stay tuned for a full report.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I haven't ever claimed to be a very fashion forward kind of gal. I know I know, this comes as a surprise to most of you since I am normally so fashionably dressed. And I own Tory Burch shoes and all. When I was cruising around on Facebook yesterday and this picture was posted under a boutique that I "like", I had to do a double take. The caption reads "Is this not the cutest holiday outfit you have ever seen"?? I have so many things to say about this that I hardly know where to start. Maybe I should make a list and someone can help me understand it a little bit better.

1. What about this outfit makes it a holiday outfit? It appears to be devoid of any color at all that might lend itself to holiday cheer.

2. The bottom half of this outfit are shorts. The only holiday I might wear shorts for is none. This is because I do not wear shorts. But if I did, I would probably choose to wear them between the months of May and September. This IS Atlanta but it does get a bit chilly sometimes and I'd rather not show off the color of my legs in December.

3. I might have bought into the fad of shorts being popular in the winter IF they had been paired with something that remotely appeared to match the top. They could have made me believe without much effort that these shorts would be cute.....with another top. OR that this top would be cute......with something else on the bottom. I feel like if I stare at this outfit with my eyes slightly out of focus, for ten seconds, some sort of holographic creature will suddenly appear for me.

4. I sort of lost steam somewhere between points 2 and 3 so I'll call it quits on that subject. Give me a couple years, 15 more pounds lost and a tanning bed and I'll probably come around. For now, I don't think you will catch me wearing this anytime in the near future.

I don't have else much to report. Deaner has been in town since Friday night and he has had Evans with him so not too many funny stories to report. The Thanksgiving Day Feast went okay. By okay, I mean that when Evans' teacher brought him out to the car she reported that he was very tired and a little on the cranky side. I'd say that is not a glowing report from preschool. Oh well. You win some you lose some and now he has a week to recuperate! My brother flies into town this afternoon and we are all heading to the lake house tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Something about this year doesn't really feel like the holidays are starting but I am going to try and be more upbeat from here on out. Let's see how that works out for me!

Tomorrow, at 8:30am, I am dropping Evans off at school. His back pack is ready, his outfit is laid out and his shoes are by the back door. Come hell or high water he will be attending his Thanksgiving Day Feast. I cannot have his attendance record move to 1 for 4. Plus, I have to send in this fruit platter, a tuition check, a check for teacher's gifts, kleenex and wipes. I just have a couple things to say about this fruit platter. Can anyone tell me when fruit became so outrageously priced? I bought already sliced cantaloupe, pineapple, watermelon and grapes. This came in the form of 3 plastic containers and one plastic bag. It was $47.58.....I almost had a heart attack. But what could I do since I had to produce a sliced fruit platter in less than 12 hours. It is a good thing that Evans does not like fresh fruit (well, he likes to chew it up, get the juice out of it and then spit out the remains) but after this, I'm not likely to buy it for him! I kept telling myself while in the store that I was paying for the convenience of having someone else cut it for me. I was actually okay with this because I didn't want to do anything less than stand at a counter and cut up fruit. When I got home and started to move it to a serving platter, it became glaringly clear that the pieces were way to big for children to eat. Last thing I want to do is choke a child with my donation to lunch. So I stood at the counter and I cut up the fruit........again. You better believe Evans' calling card is taped to the top so he gets credit. He may have a poor attendance record but his mother does not skimp on fruit.

Tonight I heard Fido bumping around in the other room as we were finishing up dinner. There isn't a ton that he can get into at my parents house so I wasn't very concerned. When I glanced into the next room here is what I saw.The giant wet spot on his shirt? I heard him laughing out loud while eating his dinner in his highchair. I thought he was laughing at the second most awful show on earth, The Wild Kratts. Instead he was filling his mouth up with apple juice from his sippy cup and letting it dribble down his chin. I don't think he was swallowing any of it. No big deal. The tupperware container he is carrying around in his mouth? This is a pretty normal occurrence since he can get into the tupperware cabinet AND he thinks he is a dog. Only he got this one out of the dishwasher. Before the dishes were washed.

My alarm clock is set for EARLY tomorrow morning. Plenty of time to get up, shower, dress, wake up my child, dress him, feed him, load all his accoutrements and checks into the car and be dropped off at school on time. Going to school is exhausting. Thank goodness next week is Thanksgiving Break!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Weird things happen to me. I have sort of come to expect it and I find myself laughing at myself more and more often instead of becoming highly irritated like I used to be inclined to do. So, as I was driving home last night at dusk in a driving rain storm, I really should have expected what happened to me. Last time it rained in Atlanta it was very clear that I needed new windshield wipers and I needed them immediately. In a somewhat rare fashion, I actually went and bought new ones and had my dad put them on my car. Normally it would have taken at least a few more rain storms and perhaps a fender bender to have spurred this action but I guess I’m trying to be a little more responsible these days. As I was driving along down Wieuca Road my mind started wandering to my new windshield wipers and how great they were. I was questioning in my head if I had ever actually installed (I know it should hardly be referred to as an installation) wipers on my own car before or if I had always had someone else do it for me. Since I could not remember how a wiper would actually be put on a car, I concluded that I had, in fact, never put one on myself. Oh well, who cares? Why does it matter if I don’t know how to put a wiper blade on my car? I’ll never need to know how to do that. Or maybe I will.

At the exact second that I came to grips with this lack of knowledge/skill the windshield wiper flew off my windshield. Of course it did. In fact, it seems only appropriate that this is what would happen. It just about sums up the way things have been going for me lately. Only the wiper didn’t entirely fly off my car, rather, it was dangling by a wire that caused it to scrap and screech across my windshield making a highly unpleasant sound and creating the realization that I was not going to be able to continue home until something was done about this.

Did I mention it was pouring rain? I managed to make it to my brother’s old orthodontist’s office parking lot and accepted the fact that I was not going to come out of the situation dry. I have to admit that as soon as this happened I found it pretty comical. I mean, who does this kind of stuff happen to besides me? I couldn’t make it up if I tried. The only part that slightly irritated me was that I could not figure out how to reattach the wiper and there were about 8 men watching me out of their office windows. I didn’t expect anyone to come out and help me and get wet themselves but at least don’t get out of your desk chair and gawk. To make matters worse, I cannot actually reach the wipers on my Jeep. I have to stand on the inside of the car door and hover over the windshield. And I had to keep switching sides so I could examine the wiper that was attached correctly. Sigh.

I feel pretty confident now that I could have easily installed the wiper, had I had the little cardboard piece that came inside the wiper box that showed picture by picture instructions. In the dark, in the rain, not as easy. I managed to rig it on there somehow although it is clearly not right as the wiper will not sit flush against my windshield. I was nervous the rest of the way home that this would happen again so I only “wiped” when I really really could not see anymore. Thankfully I wasn’t far from home. I’m hoping that my dad will take a look at them tonight. Or maybe I should just get on the internet myself and figure out once and for all that I DO know how to put wiper blades on a car. At the very least it will put that doubt to rest and I’ll know in the future.

Evans is still feeling out of sorts. For a child that never whines and it not clingy to me at all he sure has the ability to turn it on quickly. When I went to bed last night my back was aching from toting him around all day on my hip. We picked right back up this morning where we left off last night. I’m hoping the mystery illness and fever break soon because I want my good baby back! And this has nothing to do with him being sick but I would just like to inform Evans that socks are not free, they do not grow on trees and that I am a LITTLE annoyed that he feels the need to take them off constantly and leave them everywhere and anywhere. I found 11 socks behind his crib yesterday so there is no telling how many are no longer with us. Happy Hump Day.

*The picture above is from this past weekend. I just don't like posting without a picture. Yes, that is oreo on Evans' nose and yes, those are his real teeth.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

After Evans’ first day of school last week we were pretty disappointed to find out that Friday was a teacher workday so there was no school. We eagerly anticipated Tuesday’s arrival so that we could actually have our two full days at school. Evans had a cold all last week, which he has never had before, but it really didn’t slow down his dog like crawling and barking and I didn’t think much of it. I just had to wipe his nose a lot. Then came the cough. You know, the kind that is likely to drive you insane and everyone else around you too? Well Evans’ wasn’t that bad and was really almost non-existent during the day but he managed to get going good enough each night to throw up all over his bed. This never happened in the evening hours before I went to bed nor in the early hours in which I awake. Vomiting is apparently an art that is best saved for the hours of 3:00am-4:30am. When I am truly at my best functioning level for stripping down my child, his crib (including the really easy to wash bumper), blankets, etc. You name it, we’ve barfed on it. The whole time I was thinking “we better feel better by Tuesday so we can go to school". The barfing stopped late last week and I just knew we were on the mend. Then Evans practically slept all weekend. Definitely a treat but I knew this was a sign that he didn’t feel 100%. Yesterday he kept feeling warm to me and by the time he got up from his nap he felt downright hot. The whiny-ness was at a new level that I have never experienced before. He was feeling much better by last night and I was crossing my fingers (I mean, how serious can the school be about being fever free for 24 WHOLE HOURS?). Just in case, I packed a lunch and had his backpack ready. At 7:30 this morning I crept downstairs to wake up my precious little boy who I just knew was going to jump up and down and request to go to school (in the form of some dog barking of course). It was a no go from the second I saw him. Poor thing was flushed with the glassy eyes etc. Our new thermometer (did know those things cost $50?) informed me that he had a 101.7 temperature (in case I did not know how to read numbers, it also flashes red). Do y’all think the school would have noticed if I brought him anyways? ☺ So we are 1 for 3 on this school deal.

In the meantime, I have received the enrollment fee bill, the tuition bill, an art supply bill (wth?), and a promise for the next tuition bill come December 1st. I’ve been asked to send in a platter of sliced fruit for the Thanksgiving feast on Friday and I have been informed by the room mother that I need to send her a check for the teacher’s Christmas gift’s from the class. Oh, did I forget to mention what they were? Since Evans is in the “Butterflies” class, the kids are giving the TWO teachers each a butterfly necklace from Tiffany. That’s Tiffany, the one with the blue/green boxes. The same place where I think I only own two necklaces from myself.

ALL of this being said, I really am happy to write the checks and send in the food and pitch in for the teacher’s gifts. I might not be as thrilled with the art supply fee but what are you going to do? I’m pretty sure that Evans will love school, if we ever get the chance to go again, so it will be completely worth it. Perhaps I'll even get some exquisite art pieces out of the deal. Now we just need to concentrate on getting better by Friday. We already have our outfit picked out a little bit early. It’s our last shot, because you know, school is closed all next week for the Thanksgiving holidays!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Is there anything in the world that I hate more than getting the oil changed in my car? I’m pretty sure that there is not. I mean, perhaps it is preferable to having the flu but sometimes I’m not sure. My perform service light has been on the past couple of weeks and getting the oil changed has been on my list of things to do. While I was driving on Friday I kept hearing a funny noise in my car. I would turn my radio off and listen closely but then it would stop. I finally deduced that the noise was only occurring when I was moving but that it would stop when I was stopped at a light or stop sign. I resolved then that I would get my car serviced on Saturday morning. The whole way home I was praying that this noise wasn’t going to be something that would cost me an arm and a leg. And then the leaf that was stuck in my windshield wiper blew out from where it was stuck and the noise went away. Problem solved. Unfortunately I still needed the oil changed.

I got up on Saturday morning and went to the Express Oil Change by my parent’s house for a $29.99 oil change and fluid check. I left $229 lighter in the wallet. How is it that by tapping some fluid on a white piece of paper, these people manage to scare the crap out of me? Honestly, it could just be colored water they are tapping and claiming came out of my car. How would I know? It’s something about making me feel like if I don’t do what they suggest, my car will spontaneously combust the second I drive it off their property. I suppose that this is what they hope to achieve and it seems to work. This sort of thing never happened to me when I had an Acura and had it serviced at the actual dealership. Sigh. I could have had a new pair of Tory Burch shoes for the cost of my transmission flush and coolant something or other so thanks for taking that money off my hands.

In other news, Evans still thinks that he is a dog. We went to the park last week with our friends and Evans carried a large stick around in his mouth. He also ate a handful of dirt but I’m pretty sure not even real dogs do that. He barks, he does really big yawns with his tongue stuck out and crawls with his head swinging from side to side. At this point, I believe that he is choosing not to walk because he would rather run around on all fours. I guess there could be worse things in life than having a canine son. Happy Monday….

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I. Hate. The. City. of. Atlanta. And not just because I did something stupid like park facing the wrong way on a residential street with zero traffic. I understand the extremely dangerous situation that I was creating by doing this and profoundly regret my reckless disregard for the law. In a city where murder, armed robbery and assault happen on, say, a minutely basis, I really feel guilty for being such a menace to society and not doing my part to make this a safer place to live. I'd like to personally thank Officer Small (I'm not lying) for not only showing me the error of my ways but for really taking the time to explain what I had done wrong. You went above and beyond the call of duty by not only marking the Improper Parking box but also including a "Violation Description" as well as some personally added thoughts about the situation my car was creating.I'm not denying my wrongdoing (though truth be told I do this all the time on residential streets and I'm not sure I knew it was illegal) but I have a massive problem with the way that my blood pressure just spiked while trying to "give away" my hard earned money (I was babysitting) to an incompetent government. It is simply inexcusable that it took me 34 minutes to give away $25. In THREE separate phone calls.

I'm assuming that the front of this parking ticket pretty clearly shows that it was issued by the City of Atlanta Municipal Court. In the shot below I'd like to illustrate how the City of Atlanta leads one to believe that paying parkings tickets is as easy as one two three.Those who get these parking rewards appear to have the option of paying by phone, by mail or on the internet. How convenient! The City politely requests that those rewarded pay with in 14 days. I grudging signed onto the website about day 6 and was told that my ticket had not been entered into the system. Same as on days 8, 10, 13 and 16. How am I supposed to pay a ticket that is not entered in the system. Ohhhhh, you expect me to CALL you and beg to pay for it.

My 3 Phone Calls in Summary:

Call #1: Placed call, waited through 8 minutes of phone prompts before I was disconnected.

Call #2: Placed call, waited through 13 minutes of phone prompts before finally being transferred to customer service (I use this term very loosely). Lady answers the phone.....

Lady: "Hella"Me: "Hi, I'm trying to pay for a parking ticket I got weeks ago but has never been entered into your system for some reason" (because you are stupid). Lady: "Citation number please"I give it to herLady: "That ticket is not in the system"Me: "I am very aware of that"Lady: "Look at the top of your parking ticket. Does is say City of Atlanta Municipal Court"?Me: "Yes"Lady: "Does it tell you to call 404-XXX-XXXX"?Me: "YES"!Lady: "That's not the right number". Me: "You have got to be kidding me"Lady: "MA'AM I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU. THE NUMBER YOU WANT IS 404-XXX-XXXX"!!

Click.

Thanks for that. Personally I think I'm the one that should be shouting at you.

Phone Call #3: Place call. Enter another laboriously long stream of phone prompts. Enter citation, what do you know, it was in the system. Do you want to pay for your ticket? Yes. Enter credit card number, expiration date, security code, hair color, eye color, weight and mother's name. Was asked if I want to accept this charge on my credit card or decline it. Seriously? Accept. Thank you for paying your parking fine with the City of Atlanta. You have been charged $27.50 to your Visa card. This includes a $2.50 CONVENIENCE FEE for paying over the phone. Goodbye.

I will never get those 34 minutes of my life back but I am thinking of suing the City for the overages that will most likely be on my cell phone bill this month. Where is the cork screw?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that by last night I was starting to get really nervous about dropping Evans off at school this morning. I don't think I slept AT ALL last night but that may or may not have had to do with Evans. I packed his back pack and lunch last night so that we would be ready to go first thing. I did have a slight tiff with LL Bean but that is all sorted out now. I ordered this back pack for E and I have never had an issue with the quality of anything I have ordered from there. This monogram was the shoddiest I have ever actually paid money for. You can't really tell in the photo but the letters are uneven and the stitching was already picked. I don't think so. There is already a new one on the way and I told them I wasn't returning this one until I had the new one in my hands. We have to go to school after all! I have to admit that I almost fell over dead from shock when I dialed the customer service number and A HUMAN ANSWERED. That is enough customer service to warrant returning time and time again. Even if their monograms are awful.

I had to wake Evans up this morning at 7:15 because he is the slowest eater on the planet and I was worried he wouldn't have time to finish his breakfast if I didn't give him plenty of time. Of course I was right and depending on how hungry he is at school maybe next time he will eat a little bit faster. We had to take some first day of school pictures (which all turned out really terrible because I look old and haggard and Evans wouldn't look at the camera) and then we were out the door.I don't know why I look like such a hunchback in the above picture but I need to work on that apparently.School starts at 8:30am and I was worried about the traffic AND knew I was going to walk Evans in for his first day so we left the house at 7:56am. And got to school at 8:10. A bit on the early side considering the school was dark and the parking lot was empty. I didn't look too eager did I? When school did "open" the director met us at our classroom and introduced E to his teachers. I was very nervous at this point that Evans was going to start wailing because he was going to realize I was leaving him. I mean, he depends on me, right? I'm pretty much the most important person in his life, right? When his teacher took him out of my arms that kid never even turned around and looked at me again. Not a glance back, not a wave, nothing. So I snuck out the door happy that there was no scene. After that I got an email from the director telling me that Evans was having a great time AND the room mother emailed me to tell me that her twins were playing with Evans when she left them this morning.

Carpool went smoothly this afternoon and the teacher putting E in the car reported that he had a great day! He didn't even seem all that excited to be coming home with me. He was asleep before I even put him in his crib and I'm hoping for a long nap. I know he would really be looking forward to Friday (as would I) except I just found out that it is a teacher work day. WTH? Didn't I pay for that day of school? Oh wow, I'm turning into my parents......

Monday, November 7, 2011

I can hardly remember all the way back to 14 months ago when Evans was this small. Seems hard to believe that we brought him home from the hospital and it was only a little over a year ago. This is a picture of him on the day we came home from the hospital. Shortly before the accidental overdose. At least that is what I like to think of it as (especially since it wasn't nearly as serious as an actual overdose!). On the way home the the hospital Deaner and I stopped at the commissary to pick up some formula since it was clear at that point I would not be breastfeeding. I couldn't get out of the car and Deaner was sent inside to pick out formula before making our way home. When we got home Deaner fixed E a bottle with his new formula and we were both relieved and excited when he gobbled it down with no problem. No problem until he promptly projectile vomited it all over me 5 seconds later. If this happened to be today by an infant I probably wouldn't think anything of it but as new parents we were frantic. What could have POSSIBLY caused this throw up?! Deaner got very quiet as he read the back of the formula can and realized that we had in fact, just fed our infant concentrated formula. We can laugh about the accidental overdose now since it wasn't serious and Evans did fine as soon as we actually watered down his formula like we were supposed to.

Fast forward to present day. Evans has had a cough for the past couple of days and while he is not coughing a lot, it doesn't sound good when he does. I called the pediatrician's office on Friday like any good mother would and talked to the nurse about it. She said that I could give him half a teaspoon of children's benedryl at night to help with the coughing. She made sure to explain that children's benedryl wasn't on the shelf right now at any drug store so I would have to buy generic brand. No problem. Friday night I ran into Publix before we went out to dinner. Searching searching searching for the children's benedryl to no avail on the medicine aisle. I resorted to asking the pharmacist if I was blind and just couldn't find it or was there really not any there. She informed me that I needed to look on the aisle with children's products like diapers and wipes ect and she told me that the box was pink and white. I found it immediately but when I read the back it very clearly said not to give it to children under the age of 4. Back up to the pharmacy to ask AGAIN only to be assured that if my pediatrician said 1/2 a teaspoon that it was fine. I bought the medicine and left.

Now, here is where things become slightly unclear. Has anyone else ever been the victim of buying shampoo and conditioner in the store, only to get home and realize that one of the bottles has actually MORPHED while in your shopping bags and you actually have bought two shampoos or two conditioners? This used to happen to me all the time before I started buying my shampoo and conditioner by the liter. Anyways, when it came time for bed and I was getting ready to give Evans a dose of Benedryl I was reading the back directions just incase. My attention caught on the warning that you should not consume this medication with any alcoholic beverages. Hmmmm, I thought, why would they write that on the back of a CHILDREN'S medication? Like a child would be boozing it up (I don't make it a habit of letting Evans drink, I do have standards). Then I looked at the label and realized that no where on it could I find were it indicated that this was a children's medication. I called upstairs to my mom to throw me down the box that it came in. Sure enough, it was plain old adult benedryl. WHA??? I stood in the grocery store for 15 minutes inspecting this medicine and I asked the pharmacist about it not once, but TWICE. I even picked it up from the baby product's aisle. I was so annoyed. There is only one explanation and that is that the children's benedryl that I picked up and paid for, clearly morphed while I was in the car on the way home into adult benedryl. Humph. Cue a trip to Walgreen's by Buddy who did manage to buy a non-morphing children's benedryl for Evans.

This weekend was pretty busy for us. I had a wedding to go to on Saturday afternoon but had to be home Saturday night because Buddy and Susie had a night wedding. Got to watch the Alabama v LSU game and was very pleased by the outcome. Sunday morning we met Uncle Andy (who Evans can say his name now pretty clearly!) and Aunt Mimi for breakfast at Waffle House. Evans is on a diet and chose to eat lightly with bacon, sausage, cheese grits, cheese hashbrowns and waffle with syrup.Looking at this picture now, I am less stunned about what Evans is eating than I am about how I let him go into public wearing a Colonel Reb sweatshirt after the horrific show that Ole Miss put on against Kentucky on Saturday. Pathetic. Really? Kentucky? Call me fair weathered but I've had it with the Rebels and it might be time to hang up the sweatshirt until they are a bit more worthy. Sunday afternoon I managed to sneak away to get a pedicure and Evans and Buddy sent me this picture while I was relaxing.It's a good thing I am not an uptight mother. That is for sure. Not only is Evans dressed in an outfit of solid navy blue which makes it look like he is wearing a unitard but he is also BUNGEE CORDED into the wagon. Not exactly what I had in mind when I mentioned I wanted to get him a radio flyer. :)

Tomorrow is a big day for us so y'all will have to stay tuned to hear all about how the first day of school goes! I am hoping that E's pack back and lunch box will arrive in the mail today so that he can look EXTRA smart as he heads off to practice his shapes, counting, directional adjectives and saying "please" and "thank-you". If his teacher mentions anything about a lack of ability I've already decided to respond with "What? That is weird, he can normally do ALL those things when we are at home"! I think it will be a good day and I will be sure to take pictures. Happy Monday!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

I know that Evans and Dylan the dog have become fast friends over the past few days but I am starting to worry about Evans. I've noticed that the two of them are starting to resemble each other, especially in their fur/hair coloring, but now Evans is starting to really act like a dog. Last night we were sitting in the den watching TV and I could hear Evans rustling around in the front foyer. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw him crawl by with something brown sticking out of his mouth. I called out for Evans to come here and from around the corner at the speed of light he came crawling, with a Nestle Crunch bar in his mouth, which he proceeded to drop at Buddy's feet. Of course he was praised IMMENSELY by Buddy for his new Dylan like trick and this morning while I was getting dressed in my bedroom, I was delivered a Three Muskateers bar to my feet. I managed to catch him in action a couple minutes later.I didn't have time to get my camera out this afternoon when I rounded the corner and saw him carrying a crystal candle stick in his mouth. I'm thinking that it is going to do Evans some good to start school next week and make some actual human friends. Dylan is having a little bit too much dog like influence over him lately. It is probably for the best that his new school did not require an actual "interview" with him.

On a different note, can anyone confirm or deny that it is actually bad for children to sit this close to the television? Not that this is Evans.....just a kid that looks a little bit like him.Is it Friday yet?

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Evans wishes that his big news was that I bought him his very own iphone but I don't see that happening for at least a few more months. At least not until he has his own email address and blog. I have been thinking for a couple months now that it might be nice for Evans to go to "school" for a couple mornings a week just so that he could be around other kids his age. I have been having several issues logistically and y'all would have no idea what it is like to get a 14 MONTH old into a program in Atlanta but it all sort of fell into place this week. I went and toured a school on Monday that one of our friends attends and I really liked it. There was an opening for him to start next week two days a week so Evans would like to announce that he is starting school on Tuesday! I've been feeling really good about my decision (ask me again after I write the tuition check) and while I will miss Evans while he is at school, I think he will really enjoy it.

Then I got an email from the room mother. With next week's curriculum attached.

--In the first week of November, we will start working on the Thanksgiving Theme. --The shape of the month is square and the color of the month is brown. --We will talk about different food groups and each child will create their own food plate. --We will work on developing vocabulary that focuses on directionality -- in, up, down, under -- by stacking up blocks. --We will also work with puzzles, and review counting during circle time. --We will play Pilgrims dress-up and engage in the "Mirror, Mirror" activity to develop sense of sight. --Lots of focus will be on improving coordination skills and fine motor skills during art projects. --We will continue to review saying "Please" and "Thank You" during our literacy activities..

And now I am just plain panicked. Let us remember that we are talking about Evans here. I love him more than anything on earth but let's be honest, he doesn't walk, he doesn't make much sense when he talks and he sure as heck doesn't know how to count or identify shapes. This could get interesting. He could probably dress him up as a Pilgrim if you helped him into his costume.

I might be apprehensive but I am at least positive that he will look great for the first day of school. I'm a little concerned about the "art projects" with his wardrobe but I'll get over it. He will be starting school on Tuesday with this new LL Bean backpack......And this super cute Very Hungry Caterpillar lunch box from Pottery Barn Kids.Of course both will have his name monogrammed on it. I can't wait to take his first day of school pictures and maybe he will surprise me with his knowledge. He did climb out of his highchair after all.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I have to say that I was originally skeptical of my mom's suggestion that Evans be a lion for Halloween. I mean, a lion? Sort of dull if you asked me. Until I saw the costume and knew that it would be perfect for E. I was very concerned up until the point that we actually put the costume on that there was no way in hell that he was going to keep that head on the whole time (or at all). He greatly surprised me and besides a few choking incidents (they were isolated) on the lion's mane, he seemed to really like his costume. We met up with an old friend of mine and her husband and little boy Jack in their neighborhood for a Halloween parade, Varsity hot dogs and general chaos. I stopped by and picked up my aunt Jennifer and the twins because Jennifer's sister-in-law lives in the neighborhood as well and we wanted to take all the kids to the parade. All I have to say about that is that we should have started about an hour before we actually did. Coordinating so many children takes a lot more time than you normally plan for. We made it, we walked and everyone was happy!Ok, well we had a rough start and Evans was a little bit like the cowardly lion but he toughened up as the parade progressed. I think he might have been a little apprehensive about his friend Jack's unwieldy fire extinguisher which in all fairness, did almost poke his father's eye out later in the evening.Here are the Underwoods and what could have maybe been considered a weapon to some.And sweet Molly and Jack Farmer. Their pumpkin hats were a little large and we only let them slip over their faces a few times and never for very long at a time!Meredith and I grew up together in Ansley Park being born only 11 days apart and spent many a Halloweens together. It was really fun watching our sons celebrate their first Halloween (together) and pulling them around in the Cadillac of Radio Flyers. Maybe by next year Evans will even be able to walk (he will be well over 2 by then) but I am thinking that we MUST have a wagon like this asap.Meredith and Andrew are new to the neighborhood and I'm not exactly on top of my game right now so we joked that next year we know what to expect and that we will be much better prepared with plenty of props! I'm having visions of a very intricately decorated Radio Flyer and a stocked rolling cooler. I will have to try hard to top this costume next year....but I have a very good idea of what I am going to make him and it might be based on the costume I made myself a few (many) years ago.What do y'all think? I will have to think about whether I will allow him to drink a beer too. Evans was exhausted after inhaling his hot dog as if I hadn't fed him all day long and we hit the road so that Buddy and Susie could see our little lion.The evening ended much as it began......And Evans was asleep before his head hit the pillow. Cannot wait for next year. Are you ready Underwoods and Farmers?

My last picture doesn't have to do with Halloween but deserves mention. Evans and I ran by the Farmer's this morning to download the pictures from Jennifer's SLR camera that I used last night. I put Evans into his cousin Thomas' highchair to watch Dinosaur Train and have a snack (yes, he is wearing his pajamas but it was COLD and early and he likes them!) while I downloaded my pictures. I was sitting no more than 3 feet from him in an armchair. When I looked up from my computer about ten seconds later I was sort of shocked.Note to self. Utilize the chair buckle. While I think that Evans can't do many things, he is clearly screwing with me.