Give yourself a gift – the gift of permission …

“Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.” – Joy Page

As I write this, it is just a few days before Christmas and we, as a country and society, continue to reel over the tragedy in Newtown, CT that will be forever in our minds. Many say it is hard to be in the spirit of the season given what has happened and I must admit on many occasions I do feel the same. But – we must go on and be examples to those angels and adults who are no longer with us – and to their families.

I thought I would share a blog and article I wrote sometime ago which is one of the cornerstones of my practice – giving yourself a gift – the gift of permission to succeed. I hope you enjoy and find the motivation to give yourself the ultimate gift that can define your success for the rest of your life!

Happy holidays in whatever manner you celebrate. Be safe and rested and ready to make 2013 roar!

Please also remember the souls we have lost and the survivors, first-responders, teachers and community of Newtown.

All too often we meet people who have ability, smarts, experience and talent – but they just don’t seem to be able to move forward in their career, or life. They are stuck – stuck for one most important reason – they have failed to give themselves permission to achieve, to do something for themselves, to make a difference in their life. So they remain stuck, but so full of potential.

Sometimes it is just accepting – or giving yourself permission – to be imperfect. That imperfect trait should not hold you back, and it can if you let it. Stop sweating the fact that there are many different things you wish were different about your life — rather focus on what you have to offer and let the other “noise” go.

Perhaps it may seem to be selfish to do for yourself. Perhaps there are other needs that appear to be more pressing. Perhaps it is peer or family pressure. Where ever is, – let it loose, and give yourself permission to be what you want to be and do what you want to do, and celebrate every goal on your way. Once you accept this, your whole outlook will change, obstacles will become opportunities, problems will become just new challenges. To be cliché – you will view the glass as half-full, not half-empty.

With this new found attitude , set your goals and plan, and celebrate along the way:

• Change Your Mindset – Don’t think “oh well, just another interview ..” , rather think “… great, another opportunity to meet someone, learn and impress”. Think “… wow – so many more opportunities” versus“… oh no, more resumes to send and jobs to apply to”. Rather than dread going to a networking opportunity, change your mind to welcoming the opportunity as you may be able to help someone else!

• Celebrate Every Goal – Small and Large – Live in the moment and celebrate when you have achieved a goal, no matter what it is. It could be just finishing your To-Do list earlier in the day – go out and do something fun and reward yourself. It could be nailing an interview on your calendar or closing a sales — or getting through and connecting with someone you have been chasing – celebrate; reward yourself.

• Compliment Yourself – If you look in the mirror and like what you see, give yourself a compliment — a real boost. If you do good for someone, compliment yourself. It is okay to say “Damn … I am good!”

• Commit – to Yourself & Those Around You - Commit to not falling back into the trap of self-denial. It won’t be roses every day, and there will be setbacks. This is when resilience becomes so important. Being resilient will give you the drive to overcome setbacks that may occur along the way. The definition of resilient from Merriam-Webster is telling: re-sil-ent: adverb; capable of withstanding shock without deformation or rupture; tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.

Giving yourself the gift of permission will make for a memorable holiday season – for years to come. My best to you at this festive time of the year — and thank you for reading this. – Dan