ELSEWHERE ON THE GTP NETWORK:

The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas lived up to its name after a customer nearly died after going into cardiac arrest while eating an ironically named Triple Bypass burger. The so-far unidentified man was reportedly dining on the 3-patty burger with cheese entree when he suffered a heart attack. Luckily, the man is expected to survive and will not become a Darwin Award winner.

How sick do you have to be to name a restaurant the Heart Attack Grill and serve gross heaps of greasy burgers that go by the names Triple Bypass burger (three patties & cheese) and Quadruple Bypass burger (FOUR patties & cheese)? Even worse, this place used to have a 575 pound spokesperson, Blair River, who died at the age of just 29. They actually used a horribly unhealthy person in danger of dying (who later did just that) as a result of his eating habits to advertise their products as something tourists should come and shove down their throats. That’s just basically launching a middle finger at the universe by declaring to the world that they should go right ahead and eat nasty things that are going to eventually kill them.

Perhaps sickest of all, however, is that anyone would, quite literally, buy into this twisted ‘joke’ and actually give their money to a place named the Heart Attack Grill to eat an entry called the Triple Bypass Burger. That’s just giving another middle finger to the universe and daring it to squash you. This man, who reportedly almost fulfilled the restaurant’s tagline of “Taste Worth Dying For,” is lucky to be alive.

The unidentified man, who is reportedly in his 40s, broke into a sweat and started shaking while chowing down on his massive, artery-killing burger. One of the waitresses, who DRESS LIKE NURSES, reported the diner was having trouble to the owner, Jon Basso. The owner who is nicknamed ‘DOCTOR’ Basso at first thought it was a joke. So, apparently, did some of the tourists, who were taking pictures of the man about to keel over with a heart attack over his disgusting meal. There is even a video of the Heart Attack Grill customer being wheeled out to the ambulance.

Basso later said in a press statement that “even with our own morbid sense of humor, we would never pull a stunt like that.” No, of course not. You would never pretend a customer was suffering from cardiac arrest at a restaurant called the Heart Attack Grill, where you serve entries named after emergency surgeries to save the lives people who constantly eat the kind of food served in your restaurant. A place where waitresses dress mockingly in sexy nurse uniforms, and customers over 350 pounds are allowed to EAT FOR FREE.