Sunday, 30 August 2009

Osaze Oyakilhome angled the light of the lamp to the couch, stared at the flushed expression of his brother and the red face of the girl avoiding eye contact and knew exactly what he had interrupted. He was glad he decided to weather the storm and make his way home in the end…this should be an interesting evening.“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” he asked with a cheeky grin“I believe you are capable of introducing yourself” Esosa responded. Osaze smiled, his brother was still upset over their argument earlier today and so was he as a matter of fact, which is why he was going nowhere despite the looks Esosa threw at him.“Hi I’m Osaze. Esosa’s younger brother. I live here as well” he said in his most charming voice“J-Jennifer” the girl stuttered. He took her hand, felt the soft palms and wondered where his brother found this ajebota from. She didn’t look like she had ever known suffering. All three of them exchanged looks, the lamp casting shadows on their face making it appear they wore masks. Osaze simply hopped over and made himself comfortable. Snuggling right in and kicking his shoes off he lay facing them. Making it obvious he was staying put.“Osaze” Esosa said in a serious tone“Oh sorry broda” he replied and got up to place the shoes neatly by the door, returning back to his position and settling in with a “hmm”“Perhaps we should turn on the gen” Esosa suggested“Ah ah who are you trying to impress. Generator only comes on at weekends” Osaze said in their native tongue. Jen hid a smile“Jen is from Benin” Esosa said, annoyed that she had to hear that“Kóyò” Jen said greeting him hello“Oops” Osaze said not looking embarrassed at all“Whereabouts?” he enquired and Jen responded. “This is our sister now” he chuckled to Esosa who didn’t smile back. It appeared his brother still thought he’d be venturing out into the rain.“Vbè ore 'nì rue?” Osaze asked“Jennifer” Jen responded, hoping he wouldn’t ask for her Edo middle name so he could tease. Osaze shook his head and smiled“érhá” he asked with a determined look, asking for her father’s name. Jen, for her full name- Jen volunteered thanking the Lord for the millionth time that her father wasn’t involved in politics.Osaze looked like someone who was angry at the world, Jen was very observant and it appeared with every question he asked; however innocent- he was judging.“Ób’ókhían” he greeted her“Ù rú èsé” she repliedSo far, from his charm it appeared she had passed, but still it was a little cute to see someone looking out for Esosa. Even if he didn’t appreciate it, sitting on the reading chair sulking like a boy who had been denied a treat.She easily relaxed with Osaze, and forgot that a couple of minutes ago her bra was about to be unhooked by his brother on the very couch he now lay on.“Have you been given a tour?” he asked“I still say you got the better bed” Jen leaned in and whispered.“Oh definitely” Osaze agreed patting a cushion of the couch“If it wasn’t raining cats and dogs I’d have shown you the piece de resistance?”“Oh Esosa’s shown me the balcony” Jen said with an inviting look to Esosa to join in the conversation“Really! You are the only one to comeback alive then” Osaze teased“What can I say? My chi is strong”“You are from a good breed” Osaze mimicked a typical Benin man and Jen laughed her head off. He did a couple more and soon Jen was grabbing her stomach in stitches. Jen relaxed completely in his company and decided to leave Esosa to his own devices so he could cool down a bit.Osaze couldn’t be anymore different from his older brother. He was blessed with charm right from the onset and Jen was enjoying his company like it was originally her plan to visit him. She could now correlate the restless explorer in him with the lead character of his favourite book. They spoke about Gulliver’s at length and Osaze confessed that he always wanted to travel the world. He told her he was studying English at UNILAG because it was his dream to be an English teacher in someplace foreign. Jen asked where? Osaze said it didn’t matter but he wouldn’t remain in any one place for longer than 18 months at the most. He probed Jen for where she’d been to and Jen replied not that many places. As comfortable as she was she was not as unbecoming as to play the role of middle-class baby and rattle off the countries on her passport. So she told a white lie- stating her only destinations as England where she schooled and next door Cardiff where she once vacationed.

Esosa stared at the pair of his brother and Jen already annoyed that he had to come interrupt. He watched Jen sway as Osaze reminded her of folk songs she had not heard sung since she was a child, they laughed over stupid things and Esosa just prayed for the rain to stop so he could kick his brother out. Osaze had always been easy around people, growing up he was always defended by his older siblings and had learnt to get by on his charm, and this unfortunately had rendered him lazy. So lazy that he had yet another carryover from one of modules at University this year. Again. Esosa couldn’t understand why the boy did not apply the same work ethic to his books that he did to forming friendships with people he just met. His truancy and repeated number of skipped class lectures had gotten them into an argument just this morning, Osaze wasn’t rude; he wouldn’t dare, but he still managed to come off as flippant before leaving on an errand that he claimed would take hours. Esosa merely assumed he would spend the night with a friend sending a text to say he would be home the next day. But here he was home early, and treading on a private moment between him and Jen just to fluster him. It was moments like this that made Esosa reflect. Esosa tired of playing the role of father and brother to him, it was difficult to be stern on one hand and then ask for privacy the next so he could spend some alone time with a girl, but he promised his stepmom- Osaze’s birth mother that he would care for her son and that is what he intended to do.

“Will you join us?” Jen asked Esosa pointing at the ludo game Osaze had unearthed. He shook his head no and waved them on with a smile“Oh come on” Jen coaxed“I’ll referee” Esosa said“It’s because he always wins” Osaze told Jen“How? It’s a game of luck”“Not when you are the brilliant Esosa its not” Osaze replied“Well not me, I’m horrible” Jen confessed“Thank God me too. Tell you what; we each get a chance to cheat twice” Osaze propositioned“It’s a done deal” Jen said and they shook hands on it.The divided up the primary colours that marked up the starting squares, Jen took blue and green which displayed the pictures of Fela and Tupac and Osaze took on red and yellow- Michael Jackson and Oliver de Coque- and they began to race their token of selected colours from start to finish by rolling the dice. It took them both ages to roll sixes and they laughed at their sad luck.“Ye evban” Osaze would occasionally tell Jen. Pointing at a square he wished her to send her token, which would place it in his path so he might overtake and win“You wish” Jen would roll her eyesThe game lasted for over thirty minutes and when Osaze attempted to cheat a third time Jen called him out on it, soliciting the designated referee for back up. Esosa merely waved them on and Jen got annoyed with his determination to pursue his sulking. When the game ended with Osaze the clear winner they hoped to roll again but the light of the electric lamp began to wane. Esosa called to his brother to bring out the spare behind the bar but Osaze confessed to not charging it.“But when I asked you…”“I know broda I’m sorry”“Typical”“Laho” Osaze apologised. Esosa grunted“Laho Esosa” the minute Jen said that she regretted it. The annoyed look that crossed Esosa’s face indicated she had taken his younger brother’s side for more than just a rechargeable lamp issue.“Khue Osaze” he said and reaching behind the table lamp for a torch light attempted to make his way up the stairs. Jen didn’t know if that was to be a joke, but she didn’t find it funny. In a voice employed by her mother when she intended to scold Jen stood up and bid Osaze goodnight while climbing up the stairs to Esosa’s bedroom.“What was that all about?” she asked “Telling me to pursue your brother”“Oh you didn’t find it funny?” Esosa said as he sat on his bed“I am waiting for you to make your point” Jen said with her hands on her waist, she was sick of his petulant behaviour. She was enjoying the kissing too, but there was nothing to do for it. Osaze lived here as well and it was pouring outside; she made the best of the situation, why can’t he?“You shouldn’t encourage him. He’s lazy and when you jump to his defence like that you give him license to act cheeky” Esosa told her“I wasn’t. I am sorry I didn’t mean to interfere” Jen apologised“Osaze is used to having things slightly easier than my siblings and I”“Isn’t that the way it should be? He’s the youngest”“Yes. You’re right” Esosa left it at that but Jen looked at him so he continued“He’s not doing well in school and I don’t understand the problem. Its not girls or drugs, those I can deal with, he’s just unserious. I don’t know how to get him to focus. Take school seriously”“He wants to travel, not school”“I am not helping with his school fees so he can go gallivanting the world”“If you stop being so stern you will see that there are other ways to reach him than scolding”“He’s a child”“He’s only two years younger than I am” Jen said“Well its different for you isn’t it”“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jen blinked“It doesn’t mean what you think it does Jen” Esosa said to pacify“Really because what I meant was stimulating him with something else; perhaps, by encouraging him to look for a job during his holidays as a flight attendant. That way he can experience travelling and earn some money as well, that should help Osaze re-focus plus it will show you support him.”Esosa looked humiliated after Jen explained“You obviously meant the fact that I had my father pay for everything when I was in Uni” Jen looked at him“I am sorry, it just came out. It was a stupid remark. It was in no way a personal attack or reflection of you. You already know I think you’re a wonderful person”Jen looked at him upset and declared“I’m going downstairs to make sure I have everything I came with, I wouldn’t want to disturb Osaze when he’s sleeping in the morning” and she turned on her heel and climbed back down; making out the shapes in the darkness with her hands, upset that she didn’t think to grab the torch off the bed before marching out. Well she couldn’t go back now could she? Osaze was putting away the board game and didn’t appear startled to see her materialise out of the darkness.“Sorry to disturb you” Jen said“No not at all. Can I help with something?” he asked looking for Esosa behind her“Just making sure I didn’t leave anything behind”As Osaze helped look around for foreign belongings Jen saw a bag of unopened plantain chips“Oh can I have some?”“You eat that? Posh girl like you”“Meaning what?” Jen laughed“Meaning I thought u only snacked on Pringles or Walkers crisps” Osaze said, there was no laughter in his voice“Ah ah why would you think that” Jen said wondering at his change in tone“You’re madam money bags now. Madam international passport” he jeered“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jen said for the second time that night“Why are you here?” Osaze stopped searching behind cushions to stare at her. Jen looked at him confused“Really you think you’re fooling me” Osaze said with a low laughJen was confused, wasn’t this boy the one she just played ludo and sang with?“All these rich girls who want to see what’s its like on the other side, abi? Squat in a one bedroom at the opposite end of town for the experience of ‘managing.’ Before running home to air-conditioned houses and housegirls and maiguards.“In what position are you to judge me like that…?” Jen felt like she was talking to a different person“Do you even like my brother?” or is he just a game to you? Something fun”“My relations to your brother involve only your brother” Jen responded“Esosa does not mate for fun. So if this is some sort of social experiment to you, then just leave now”“Where are you getting all this from?” she enquired“Oooh I know ur type all too well…sophisticated girls but lacking in substance, drive round in expensive cars and wear expensive clothes but pretend to understand the life of a common man because you spare a couple of minutes to chat. You think that makes you emphatic to their suffering?”Esosa was right Jen thought. Osaze is a child; still angry at the world for what happened to their father. Not in the noble way that Esosa was by refusing to work for the people who disappointed his family but in a selfish way. All Osaze knows is that one minute they lived on the Shell estate with a driver and the next he was being placed in public school. He feels the whole of Nigeria owes him an apology.“Your fight is not with me…” Jen began “but everyone who made you feel inferior for having less Osaze, and let me tell you now, that until you are proud of what u have achieved, u will never be content. Your brother is and he doesn’t apologise for it. That’s why I’m here, because he works hard and has the confidence of a man who built everything himself and hence has something to say.”“Yeah whatever material girl” Osaze hissed in her directionEsosa thundered down the stairs then, to check on Jen and before her very eyes Jen watched Osaze transform to his charming self, handing her phone and bidding them both a goodnight. Appears he was only nice to be respectful to his brother, he didn’t care for her, and Jen didn’t know what she had done but guess you can’t win them all. Can you.She climbed back up to Esosa and when they reached the landing he apologised again and Jen told him not to sweat it. In his bedroom he had created a makeshift sleeping area on the floor for himself and left her the bed with the covers on. He also offered one of his shirts to sleep in and handed her the torch so she could make her way to change in the bathroom. Jen returned and climbed in uttering a quiet good night, she heard Esosa turn on his side severally so she wasn’t surprised when he started talking into the darkness.“My mother died when I was young, I don’t remember how old and my father re-married shortly after. All my early memories are of íyé are Osaze’s mother. She loved me like I was her own and though she bore six more children- four girls and Osaze- she never stopped caring for me. After my father got a bad back that pushed him into early retirement, things got hard. We never knew when the pension would come or how much so we struggled to make ends meet.” Esosa took a deep breathe he wasn’t used to pouring his heart outJen kept really still lest she frighten him“My parents were adamant that Osaze try to live the way we were intended to” Esosa continued “that meant no manual labour for him, just school. Lots of it. We didn’t mind, if anything we were glad to raise the baby of the house as middle-class as we could afford. Just look what’s it’s done to him now. He’s gotten so used to everyone toiling on his behalf that he doesn’t listen to advice anymore. I will not always be there to fix everything; I just wish he would take responsibility instead of having his head in the clouds.” Esosa exhaled and continued“Jen its not that I don’t support him, I don’t want you to think that I will ever be that cold, I am only looking out for him”“I know” Jen whispered “It was not my place to tell you how to raise him”“Raising Osaze” Esosa frowned in the dark “my father would have known what to do”“I’m sure he’s proud of you”“He died shortly after I returned from Ghana. He never even got to see me move from my uncle’s couch into my own place”“I’m sure he’s proud of you” Jen said with certainty“Osaze isn’t a bad kid. He just resorts to truancy because he wants attention. You’re a tough act to follow you know. Maybe he just feels that because he can never excel academically like you did, he might as well not try. “Jen gasped “I apologise I’m doing it again aren’t I? Psycho analysing”“No please” Esosa said “It takes a woman to know these things”“Your brother loves you. He’s very protective of you” Jen said“And I of him” Esosa said with such resolve that Jen smiled into the darkness“Good night Jen”“Good night Esosa” she replied and when he fell asleep leaving only his gentle snoring for company Jen knew for certain she had fallen for him; because she had seen the sort of person he could have let himself become: bitter and resentful. She understood him more and with each layer she peeled back she liked what she discovered. Esosa the Economist. Esosa the friend. Esosa the First Son. Esosa the Lover? Jen rolled on the bed till she leaned over the edge looking at Esosa sleeping on the floor, his hands underneath his head and the steady rise and fall of his chest. She wished she could study him in better light but that would mean shining the torch in his face, Jen smiled when she realised that she would enjoy watching him sleep.

Saturday, 29 August 2009

Halima Dansabe did not claim to know a lot of things but what she did know was hard facts.She was beautiful and Kabir loved her.These are the simple certainties that Halima wore atop her head like a crown. It morphed the steps she walked, formed the words her lips uttered as she bowed her head in prayer five times a day and ultimately dictated the rest of her life. She was in her early twenties and yet to discover her shortcomings. She didn’t have any, it was that simple. Schooling abroad she had encountered other girls, mostly non-Hausa and non-Muslim, who thought it weird that she hung on to beliefs and did not “experiment”. They harboured pre-conceived notions of northern girls and would stare at her half-expecting tears and tales of how subdued her lifestyle was. She never complained. What was there to complain about? She did not know “want”- never had. Her every wish was and always had been granted. She had also never felt inferior- to whom? Her father was the richest man in Northern Nigeria- she was royalty. Eventually she grew accustomed to the looks of envy she received from such girls. The looks they pretended to coat in pity. Hating the fact that she wore her long skirts and hair scarves with a confidence their skin tight dresses couldn’t give them. Girls who claimed to be sexually liberal but fucked around hoping to find the love Halima was handed as she walked late into her Math class at age 15 angering the head boy who turned to scold her but instead smiled and introduced himself as Kabir. Girls, who claimed to be adventurous- with clothes, hairstyles and face paint- tried in vain to coax fake hair down to shoulders, like hers naturally did. Girls who pierced or tattooed certain parts to enhance their appeal, Halima only adorned herself with colourful waist beads fragrant in sandalwood that jiggled when she hurried by. Girls who tried desperately to twist their tongues into a dialect foreign to their mouths in ridiculous “fone” barely speaking one or the other, Halima voiced in Hausa, Kanuri and Arabic. Her skin was kissed by northern sun, her features blessed by her mothers Kanuri heritage, and her irises sparkled like that of a woman who was properly loved by the man of her dreams. So, yes Halima Dansabe didn’t know a lot, but she knew that the most inner desires of a woman lay in beauty and love. She was beautiful and she was loved.

Lately, one of the two things she knew stopped seeming so certain. Kabir was different. She could not place it nor could she label the feeling as woman intuition for she never chanced upon an opportunity to develop that trait. She knew Kabir, trusted him and she loved him. There was never any need to doubt him. He was romantic, charming and devoted. She loved him. It was just that lately…Some things had been missing of late from their relationship; they laughed less but kissed more. It shouldn’t seem weird for an engaged couple but she missed their conversations on Politics, Religion and Travel that lasted long into the night. On her return from Kano, he picked her up at the airport and as expected kissed her like a man possessed but there was something…Last night as she lay in his arms, she pushed the thought aside. Stop being silly she scolded herself. Afterwards they watched for the new moon, having a late dinner on his lawn as they stared at the starry sky for the glimpse of the crescent moon that would indicate the start of the Holy month. The kissing began again in earnest when she brought up his lack of interest in the wedding plans, although he had already apologised profusely for his tone with her the other day over the phone. Her brain turned to mush and her tongue forgot what it was trying to articulate. “Anga wata” she finally managed to say winning the contest by being the first to spot the silvery outline behind rain clouds. With a kiss on his cheek she left his townhouse returning to the apartment she shared with her sister Jummai in Victoria Island.That was the early hours of this morning but presently they sat on his carpet in his expanse of a living room staring at the television awaiting the first call of Maghrib that would signal the end of the working day and the end of the fast. Kabir had a far away look that Halima had seen once before. Halima had laid the rug for the Iftar meal and she stared at the food on show. Had she displeased him? There were bowls of dates and a glass of ice water to soothe his parched thirst. Two glass bowls held generous portions of fruit salad, a covered cooler housed kosai and the flask contained akamu. There was kunu and zobo in the fridge and she planned to heat up the tuwo shinkafi and kuka for later. How had all this upset him? By now they would be exchanging stories of temptation from the day. Friends and colleagues who mistakenly; or in Femi’s case knowingly; kept offering food and drink throughout the work day. There would be laughter…but instead the only sound was the drone of the TV as it displayed a large clock, ticking its way towards 7.20pm when the call to the evening prayer would be broadcast. She glanced at him once more in his sweats as he lay on his leather couch lost in thought. An awful gnawing in the pit of her stomach…now she knew something was wrong.

Kabir sank to his plush dark purple carpet feeling more like a stranger than the man of the house. He caught her stare and made his muscles relax enough to smile; rubbing his belly and hoping that she would take his silence for hunger.“Mai ka damun ka?” she asked with a concerned look.“Nothing.” Kabir said “nothing is wrong”“Kariya ne” Halima stated“I am not lying” Kabir said slowly“Kariya” she repeated. Kabir sighed she seemed ready for a fight. He reached out and stroked her face to soothe her. “Ba komai” he said with a strained smile. She turned into his touch and smiled into his palm and in that instant Kabir felt cheap. He felt his lips form the words before his brain had time to give permission.“I’m not happy” he said.

Halima’s head jerked up. Kabir looked at her for a long time after that. So this is it he thought. He convinced himself that he could love her; he had done it for 8 years happily. After Jen became someone he did not understand, he told himself that Halima would always remain the same: beautiful and uncomplicated. She knew that he meant the best for her, even if he sometimes phrased it as a command rather than a suggestion, she would base his feelings for her in how he treated her and not how polite he was to people who weren’t involved in their relationship. She knew him. Explanations weren’t necessary because she understood his moods. Without raising her voice she made her point clear, not having to resort to name-calling, she would never jump out of the car in the middle of traffic. She was not Jen. Kabir sighed; that exactly was the problem: she was not Jen. Halima latched on to his fingers; she was still staring at him waiting for him to continue.“D” she called him by his pet name “Abinchi ne?”“No it’s not the food” Kabir assured her“Then what?” she reverted to EnglishKabir wanted to tell her that he did not want to be loved by her anymore. That he wished she wasn’t such a good person, that she didn’t look at him like her entire happiness rested on his shoulders. He wanted to tell her that he really honestly tried to get things back to the way they used to be. He swore he would make up for his infidelity and devote himself to her. So he kissed her every opportunity he had, became more involved in the wedding and was willing to marry her to make her happy because she deserved to be happy. He wanted to tell her that he told himself that his life would be directed by her dreams. Then he couldn’t think of what they were, all he came up with was her unwavering support for his. His aspirations and his goals, and he realised that he’d been a bad boyfriend because he couldn’t remember the last independent decision he allowed her to make. He didn’t remember if she was capable of a decision that didn’t involve him anymore. He wanted to tell her that in the dark of the night he realised that everything Jen said about him was true. He realised that he wasn’t the perfect catch he thought he was. He wanted to say that before this moment he was going to love her Halima like she deserved, but with the fast weakening his resolve he forgot to play the part of doting boyfriend, his body was adjusting to the first day of Ramadan, his stomach contracted and his throat sore from thirst and he forgot he was on a stage performing. Kabir wanted to say all this but he didn’t know how he would start.Halima was still staring at him and Kabir could only voice “you know how I feel about you. How I’ve always felt”“Yes” she whispered but Kabir couldn’t go on. He tried to get the words straight but everything he thought of sounded wrong. His wordsmith abilities escaped him and he was dumbfounded.“Why don’t your eyes sparkle anymore?” Halima asked“What?” Kabir stared at her“Your eyes, the gold in them is gone”“Err…” Kabir couldn’t speak, alas for all his acting, Halima wasn’t convinced“What took it away?”“Nothing”“Who took it away?” Halima’s voice shook. Kabir ran his fingers through her thick hair. Her scarf hung around her shoulders and her hair dark as ink fell in light waves to her shoulders. She was so beautiful and she loved him. What was he doing?“Ba ke bane” he said close to her mouth“I didn’t ask if I caused it. I asked who did” Halima replied sternly. Kabir didn’t answer. He met her gaze and it was friendship that made him speak, because she was his best friend and he wanted to be honest with her. A flurry of words came tumbling out and he didn’t pay attention to the fact that the series of events weren’t properly arranged or the fact that they didn’t make much sense, he just kept talking. Halima’s face went through a variety of expressions and Kabir lost count to how many times her eyes filled and spilled over. He hoped his disjointed words conveyed the fact that he loved her but he was no longer in love with her, he hoped the words expressed how much better than him she could do.They didn’t hear the call to prayer even with the surround sound so when Halima used shaky hands to raise a glass of water to her lips, Kabir did the same. They ate in silence, Kabir had no more to say and Halima had grown tired of asking “why?”There was tension but they ate because they had too. They did not pick off each others plate for “ladah” they simply chewed and swallowed, tasting nothing.“Barka da shan ruwa” Kabir greeted her on breaking her fast. She did not answer, he got up to take the dishes away and Halima continued to stare at the space between them. It was over.

Halima jumped up when he returned from the kitchen, he looked at her afraid of what she might do. Before him, Halima knelt down and begged him to love her. She had never knelt before anyone but her pride was broken and she needed him to know that she would beg, steal and serve for this love. Kabir pleaded with her to rise, but she couldn’t, her heart kept her there. “Tell me what to do” “Teach me how to better love you” she recited over and over again hopping between English and Hausa till her voice went hoarse. She wasn’t in denial, she could fix this…it had to work. It just had to. An hour later Kabir grew tired of trying to force Halima to her feet so instead sank to the floor and listened to her weep. Why does he keep hurting the people he loves? As exhaustion washed over her, Halima began to sway and Kabir caught her in time before she slumped to the floor. She had not eaten enough since she broke her fast and Kabir laid her on the couch as she slept. He did not know what to do; he also knew that when she awoke his face would be the last she’d want to see. He called Jummai to his house and on her arrival, he helped load Halima into her car; replying her every enquiry with “Your sister will tell you”. As he closed the passenger door of her BMW quietly, Jummai hugged him in the familiar manner whispering “Sai anjima” Kabir bid her farewell knowing that would be the last time she would ever speak to him that kindly.The next morning Kabir was bombarded with insults from the Dansabe sisters: Jummai, Samira and youngest sibling Aisha. They called to speak to him and on realisation that he meant the break-up told him about himself. It appeared everybody thought he was a jerk, but Kabir knew it was early days yet. The family was yet to be informed; it was then that it would really hit the fan. By Monday, Kabir ached to see Halima, the friend in him wanted to console her, make sure she was alright but he knew he couldn’t dare approach within at least 50 yards of the house without fear of death. He planned his entry like an assassination, bribing the security guard at the entry gate, to alert him to Jummai’s departure. On reaching the apartment door later that night he opened the door with the spare key Halima had made for him a year ago and let himself in. The room was dark and unventilated and Kabir called her name silently, Halima appeared from under the covers on the couch and involuntarily smiled at him- remnants from couple dom- before adjusting to a scowl. He squatted besides her staring into her red swollen eyes and asked how she was. Had she eaten? What could he do? To each she replied what do you want? Why are you here if you don’t love me? Kabir told her she was his rock and not marrying her did not mean he no longer cared. She told him that his platonic love confused her, told him to get out and screamed until he did. Kabir returned the next day, and the next till Halima went from denying the break-up to hating him. She spewed words at him, the kind he had never seen. Every misdemeanour from their relationship was hacked and brought to light in the stillness of her apartment. Kabir hunched in a corner and said nothing. He deserved it and was not leaving till he had fully explained the situation to her, she needed to know and until she was strong enough to ask the question he would take her stabs.It was in the second week of Ramadan that his mother called crying down the phone. Did he know what he had done to the family? She sobbed to him. All the years of familial relations down the drain. Old classmates, mutual friends and everybody else and their uncle called and visited to know if he was insane. To each enquiry of Halima’s misgivings Kabir replied “she is perfect. I just don’t love her the way I used to”. The two families back north pointed fingers and called names, ties were severed and allegiance retracted. Such a messy affair, after so long it was hard to remember what belonged to whom, drawing boundaries, building up walls and forever erasing traces of the Tijani-Dansabe association. It was civilised anarchy between their households and Kabir would have sold his soul to shoulder the blame alone. Halima hid from the brunt of shame in her flat, she had stopped going to work and spent her days fasting and praying. Praying to heal. Kabir did not end his visits and she was tired of trying to break him. Even with the added advantage of knowing where to hit, reminding him of his every falter and failure. He merely stared at her and apologised, told her how wonderful she was and how lucky he had been to have her for the time he did. He stuck the knife in himself mentioning short comings she had never seen in him and asking how she had put up with it. The arrogance and self-assurance in him was gone and Halima saw that the boy she fell in love with was no more. As he sat with hunched shoulders on the chair after a particular gruelling round of “I hate you” from her, Halima got tired.“I am not going to make this easy for you” she stated. He didn’t look up.“Coming here every evening and letting me tear into you will not make me forgive you” Still he said nothing.“What do you want from me Kabir?” she asked “you will not be here if you didn’t want something”. Kabir still kept silent.“Answer me” she ordered.“I want you to get better” he whispered“Better. BETTER” she shrieked. “I am not sick Kabir. You dumped me.” Does this- she pointed to the rumpled up tissues that littered the base of her couch- “look like medicine to you”“No.” Kabir did not need to follow her gaze to see what she was referring to. At one point she had a nose bleed and her blood stained handkerchief was clutched in her palm.“I love you and if hurting me makes you feel better…”“You are no longer allowed to say those words to me. Ever” Halima warned. Kabir conceded and apologised“When did you stop loving me?” she asked. Kabir looked up and saw the determination in her eyes. She had detached herself from the situation. She was gone past denial and through the anger, she had accepted it and now she could ask.“Four months ago. It was a Thursday” Kabir replied truthfully,“You know this for certain”“It was the day I met Jennifer” Kabir said“Jennifer?” Halima asked. She was sure he mentioned the name last Friday but she couldn’t recall the events that led to the loss of her marriage. “Tell me” she commanded and he did. Everything. Every single detail was explained, his every whereabouts’ accounted for and Halima cried into more tissues over the course of the three hour confession.“And you love this Jennifer more than me” Halima slurred over the name causing the fire in his eyes to blaze for the first time in weeks; that was her reply. Kabir’s unconscious jump to the girl’s defence was Halima’s reply. Halima was silent for a while as she gathered her thoughts, then a bitter laugh sounded. Kabir looked at her like she was crazy“Are you with her now?”“No”“Does she want to be with you?”“No”“Then why tell me? Why not return to me and spare me this humiliation and pain”“I tried to but even on my best pretence you could tell something was wrong. I couldn’t carry it on forever”. They both fell silent again then Halima asked him to leave.

That night as she sat on her praying mat for taraweeh- a long recital of the Qur’an- she had an epiphany. Her eyes adjusted and she felt her heart stilled for a moment. Why was she here? In Lagos? Halima couldn’t recall ever wanting to venture south. Surely there must have been a reason… Oh she remembered…for him. That’s why she was here, for Love, because that’s what you did when you loved someone, you made sacrifices. She left behind her life. She left behind attending functions with her mother, lunching with her friends, tending to her fathers estate and debating politics with her uncles so he could apply for a job and embark on a new chapter. So she applied for employment in the same establishment and told herself she would love it.She hadnt fallen in love with Lagos

She hated the crowds and the noise. Daily commute bombarded with sticky humidity. She missed the easy appreciative pace of the north, not this rush that was always abounding in Lagos especially the claustrophobic feel. She longed for the arid plains of her home, the acres of land that stretched out with cattle grazing on the soil. The cattle herders wore floppy hats and chewed on long blades of grass. Mallams speaking in her native tongue as they bid her good day, the call to prayers from Gidan Makama mosque echoed around the town. She longed for fresh fura bought from Fulani milk maids, danwake and proper masa and suya not the oily tough version sold over here. She missed the make-shift shops that sold woven baskets along with kuturn yaji, barkono, tonka and other kayan miya. She missed the open celebration of Eid, the horse men in Sallah Durbar festival. She missed gossiping with her cousins under shaded mango trees their palms darkened with henna and fingers sticky from Hwanke dipped in honey or smothered in Man shanu. She missed Kano.When Kabir returned the next evening her sister gleefully told him Halima had left, that she was presently handing in her resignation at Holloway. Kabir raced to the office but missed her; Halima had left without warning and as suddenly as he had broken off their engagement. He was in no moral position to feel hurt but he did, he would have liked a chance to say goodbye. Ramadan ended five days later.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

I am supposed to be working on my dissertation but I thought I'd do a bit of blogging as I have been putting it off for ages. I was in Yankee for my cousin's wedding, (which was amazing by the way) and I started comparing Jand to Yanks. I decided to make a list of pros and cons. I have been to Yanks several times but never taken the time to compare it to my beloved J.D.(Jand aka U.K)

Yanks is like arsenal, most people either love it passionately or hate it completely. There are a few people like me who are still on the fence about it. People like my dad and bro absoloutely HATE it. It is surprising because they both love money and capitalism and the U.S is the king of both. It is a land of rags to riches, where hardwork pays off in multi-million dollar cheques. Innovation and ingenuity are encouraged from as early as possible, which is why alot of the great inventions of the past decade-the ipod, iphone, microsoft, medical breakthroughs etc have come from there.

But for every good that America boasts of, there is an equally stupid thing. And lets face it, America is the land of stupidity as well.!!

So here a list of the things I love about the U.S

1)Food- I know you guys will not be surprised that this is number 1 on my list. Chai they have good food there. Every type of cuisine, flavour, texure you can imagine. There is so much variety that you can go a whole year without eating the same thing twice. In my two weeks, I had chinese, mexican, southern, cuban, thai and excellent Nigerian food as well. If have a sweet tooth you'll be spoilt for choice. I had the best ice-cream I have ever had at this place called Cold Stone Creamery. That ice-cream did things to me that I did not know food could!

I also went to IHOP which officially has the best pancakes and omlettes in the world!!

The best part is that it is CHEAP! and comes in huge quantities. This combination is why Americans are overweight.

2)The People- When you live in jand for a long time you get used to being as courteous as is barely necessary. British people are polite and thats it. Anything extra and you are on a long p!!When my friend came over from the states, I had to keep cautioning her to stop talking to strangers. We would go to a resturant and she would strike up a convo with the waiter, in the mall she would say hi to random people and indulge in convo with random dudes in a club. I was like HABA ds girl you talk too much oh, just say hi and lets go oh, before they come and carry us go!

But this is genuinely how americans are. They are soo friendly. At first I was like chai these people talk too much oh, just bag my stuff and let me go, watin concern you where I come from!! But after a while, you start to enjoy it. They ask how your day is, random people compliment you, they always go out of their way to help a stranger, and they actually seem to enjoy it. It is very refreshing. So many times, I ended up buying more stuff than I needed because the staff are just so damn helpful!! They all have that air-hostess spirit(if you are not flying british airways, cause those ones dont know how to smile).

3)Pride-Americans LOVE america!! Gosh it is unreal!!! You'll see people with american flags on their homes, cars, keyrings etc. Since it is essentially a country of immigrants, everyone has the right to claim it as home. A Mexican, Cuban, Indian or Black American all have the same sense of self-worth. I mean a Black man who is the son of an immigrant can be the president. An immigrant like Arnold Swarchenegger can be an actor and them become the governor! A talk-show host can rise to become one of the richest and most powerful woman in the world.

In jand, if you are not British, you will never be under any illusion that you are home. Even those that are British do not send that much. All they do is whine, moan and bitch about every little thing-the weather, Gordon Brown, David Beckhamp, the credit crunch, council tax, delays on the tube, the weather, bills, immigrants, queues.............Chai British people can complain!! The majority, i.e working class do not seem to have that national pride and charisma that Americans have, unless they are abroad or complaining about immigrants running down thier country!!

How many British kids today know the history of thier great nation. Or how good thier politics and democracy is. How many of them appreciate how strong thier economy is in light of its size and population. If you look at other European countries like France, Germany, Italy or eastern European countries like Russia, they all have that sense of pride that Americans have and Britons lack so vhemently. Even Nigerians, as much as we have problems, have a certain pride that can never be taken from us. The poorest Nigerian will still feel more important than a man from Togo or Benin etc because haba una no even speak English abeg!!LOL

4)Hardwork-Its funny because there is a perception that Americans are LAZY, and all they do is grow fat, have children and dance in rap videos. On the contrary, I think everyday middle-class Americans are so bloody hardworking. They work INSANE hours, crazy shifts, 2-3 jobs, hardly get any holidays and get taxed like mad. My friends in uni take crazy amount of modules, while working and playing sports etc for scholarships. And they still come out with mad gpa's. For example to do law, you have to do a pre-law degree for 3 years or so and then the law degree while doing other pointless minors like psychology all of which you have to pass. Na Wa oh!

People are always on their grind, everyone has a side hustle-music, writing, sports etc. People are so multi-dimensional. Which is why a surgeon like Khalid Hussein could also be an award winning author. The sports starts act, the actors' sing, the singers' model, and the models write and the writers' trade!!! Its insane!

I think this is because of the capitalistic nature of Americans. Too much is never enough. Everyone always wants more, bigger, better, shinier. This could be a good or a bad thing depending on your stance on capitalism.

In jand, no one is bothered to be doing two things at once. If you are a doctor, you stick to that. Everyone aims to have a 4 bedroom house, 2 cars, a dog, 1.5 kids and enough to go on holiday twice a year. Personally, I like this lifestlye. I am not about all that fast money fast car sturvs. It is the reason why someone like Star scotch or Mike Tyson who were worth millions of dollars can be declared bankrupt. But on the other hand, it is only in the U.S that people like them can come from nothing can be worth millions. In Jand, there are few rags to riches stories. Wealth is usually passed down from generation to generation or by winning the lottery. Hardwork pays off too but not in multi-million dollar cheques!

So thats my list. I will write the things I do not like about the States in my next post.Enjoy and feel free to tell me what you guys like/dislike about both!!xoxo

Monday, 24 August 2009

I LOVE X-FACTOR!!! I love music, I am in love with Simon, I love "reality" t.v and the combination of all three is irresistable. I am so glad it is back on t.v. I have seen hundreds of auditions but I saw the BEST AUDITION I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!! it was PERFECT! Even if he doesnt win, this guy is talented, and I am already a fan.

and ofcourse theres ALWAYS a Nigerian that feels d need to disgrace us, more than usual, in this case Eguono Okiti was that person!! Oh and she just had to do Mariah Carey's Without You. This song has been raped in so many positions by so many people, I can never enjoy it again.

It started with this lady in Bulgarian idol, that remixed it to "ken Lee"LMAO

I just loveeee reality t.v auditions. The Naija ones are just as good. There are a couple of really talented people like this babe called Tamara below:

But more importantly i lovee these West African Idon audtions. Every time I'm having a bad day and I need to laugh, i just watch these clips. I swear they get funnier each time. LOOL!

And there is this babe in South African Idol that looks sane but is possessed!!

Mr Lonley LMAOO

The funniest thing is they seem shocked when they are told they cannot sing. Thank God for truthful friends.LOOL

ATTENTION:Greetings from the office of the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI), Washington D.C. This email exchange is an investigative exercise carried out by the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) routinely to check email traffic on the internet.

Our Home Office has been prompted to write you an email regarding the presence of unsolicited emails traced to your email account which was reported to our agency from Google search and has been filed for record purposes.

We believe you are a victim of a scam heist which has been traced to West Africa and we are already in communication with the Western Union agents in both United States and United Kingdom where money exchanged hands and have currently made some arrests in West Africa .

Your name has been drafted for compensation and you are to receive the sum of $65,000.00 as compensation funds .Under the United States Customary law ,you have been mandated to submit all necessary documents as proof that there was an on-going transaction before such compensation is paid out.

We apologize for any inconveniences and embarrassment you must have encountered in the past and expect you to apply for an Electronic Security Transfer Account [ESTA CODE ACCOUNT].

In order to apply for your ESTA CODE ACCOUNT, you are required to contact Agent Anderson through the FBI Mailbox on 1 [206] 666 5138.

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

So I have been hyped about seeing this movie since I saw the preview below on Bella Naija.

The synopsis of the movie: “In what seems like a perfect life, three beautiful women who are pushing thirty make bold attempts to change their lives even when destiny plays its joke on them. With a marriage that seems almost doomed from the beginning, to an affair with an unlikely candidate and the endless pursuit of love, three friends will learn the harsh lessons of life, the challenges of marriage, the fatality of falling in love and the rewards of having a good laugh in the mist of sorrow."

I saw this movie and was blown away. It is 9/10 by African standards. It revolves around 3 friends and thier love-lives in modern day Ghana. It stars Jackie Appiah, Lydia Forson, Naa Ashorkor Mensah-Doku, Chris Attoh, Adjetey Annang, Nana Kwame Osei-Sarpong and KSM. It adds to an increasing genre of African Romantic comedy, not melo-dramatic over-the-top romance that saturates Nollywood.

The picture quality, sound, and editing are on point, and the three main xters are excellent in thier roles. There are several points about this movie that are notable:

1) It has ALOT of sex scenes. By African standards this an 18! There is no nudity or anything, but there are enough sexual talk and inferences keep your mind blown. The movie is basically about SEX SEX AND MORE SEX! LOL But it is done in a classy way I think. It is no more vulgar than the way normal people converse, it is just the first movie I have seen that portrays this, so it gets bonus points. It helps that men are all HOT, but Chris Attoh, who stars as the main guy is just sex on legs!!! OMG he tall, dark and STUNNING....but I digress...

2)The scenery is amazing. Its all plush gardens, enormous buildings, beautifully decorated homes, clubs, bars resturants and pools. For a second I was like is this the Ghana I visited? I definately have to go back and look for these posh places!lol

3)The soundtrack is on point. I was so hooked that I went to download one of the songs called "Obi do wa a do ni bi"(love the one that loves you back) and I have been singing in Fante ever since!

The only problem is that certain storylines are a blit cliche, and the main xter is outshined by the other ladies. Their stories are more intruiging and Lydia Forson who plays Dede(the wayward friend, yes there is always one, and we all have one) does an excellent job! It also tends to dragg onnnnnn, a bit and I got inpatient after a while.

Regardless, it is a must-watch for rom-com lovers, so grap your popcorn and enjoy!You can watch the movie HERE or HERE!

I came across this excellent article through Sugerbelly on Next (where I hope to write for some day) about the concept of women changing their names after marriage. It is apparently not a Nigerian culture at all, rather a Christain one, that like alot of other things, has now become part of our mordern day culture. The questions of ownership, control and chauvanistic egos arise once we start looking in depth at the institution of marriage in Nigeria as it an inherently one sided affair.Personally, I have never given the matter any thought until I read the article. I guess I assumed I would change my name once I got married or get a hypen with my maiden and married name, but I have never seen that as meaning I am any less my own person, or loosing my original identity by adopting his. Afterall, my current surname is my father's which my mother adopted, and my father's mother adopted as well. So any concept of ownership are lost because, although I am claiming not to belong to my husband by changing my name, I am still claiming to belong to my father thereby loosing any feminist points.Women like Angelina Jolie and Jenifer Aniston, both married to Brad Pitt, but never adopted his name have brought this issue further into the light, but to be fair, hollywood has alot of issues that mean they have unique considerations that do not apply to us mere mortals!At the same time, great women have been recognised on their own merit regardless of adopting thier husbands' name. A good example is Winnie Mandela. Although she is the ex-wife of Mandela, she never changed her name after the divorce and is still respected based on her own achievements. I guess at the end of the day, it is left to the dynamics of the couple in question. If a woman feels the need to keep her surname, then I salute her for that. Normally I am feminist, but on this issue I do not really see it as proving any points.

Saturday, 15 August 2009

Hey bville, So your girl LC got a chance to have a sit down session with one of naijas hottest media personalities. Some of you might remember him from the days of Cool f.m’s yello countdown or as the host of Big Brother Nigeria. Olisa Adibua is a multitalented radio/television anchor as well as a director of hip record label Storm Records(which is home to artists like Neato C, Sasha and recently signed Sauce Kid). With the launch of the hip radio station The beat 99.9 fm which aims to rival competitors Cool fm targeting the younger demographic audience, your girl decided to have a little sit down session with the boss himself to ask a few questions. This was how it went down.

LC: Hello,thanks for granting my interviewOA: No worries I don’t usually do interviews ,but its all good.

LC: OK!!! so lets get to know you a bit more.OA: cool.

LC: So who is Olisa:OA: I’m JUST an average guy trying to get by.

LC: No..now..more like a brief history to the Olisa movement.?OA: Im involved in electronic media

LC: Could you tell us about what you did to get to where you are today? Like the stages you went through?OA: Actually im not very good about talking about myself, ask me about what I do

LC: Fair enough,What made you get into radio?OA: Well I felt there was a challenge I had not faced, Most people start off from radio to television but I did mine the other way round, I started off from theatre then I went to television then radio as I wanted to become a fully rounded entertainer.

LC: So how far back was this?OA : I started right after I came back to Nigeria, right about 1989 there abouts.

LC: Where were you living prior?OA: I was living in England.

LC: Could you tell us about the beat fm?OA: The beat fm is a brand new station ,we started on the 1st of may 09. Targeting youths … the hip people from age 14 up wards. You can be young at heart and still love the beat. And im saying this not cause I work here but I mean we have a combination of everything, you get a bit of hip hop, garage a bit of grim, bashment, reggae, soul a bit of rock and of cause Nigerian music. In fact quote me on this. “This is the first time a station has put Nigerian music on high priority” and on heavy rotation, im talking about a 24 hour cycle.

LC: So are you a stakeholder in the beat fm?OA: Yes I am., I am a stakeholder and fully involved

LC: What are the major challenges, the station faces entering the market?

OA: Challenges have being all sorts, mainly technical because most of the technology and equipments we are using has never being used in Nigeria before, Like our software. I mean with hi tech material comes hi tech problems. Biggest challenge has being the power sauce; I mean we are operating with the generator for 24 hours, So you can imagine what we spend in terms of diesel and also maintenance of the generator. So yeah its not easy.

LC: You guys have some smart alternative revenue drivers in the form of the beat mobile. Can you tell us a bit more about it?OA: We are everywhere, we are on face book, we are on twitter we also have a website with online streaming. I mean what we are starting is a movement. Its not just a radio station. We are gonna have so many events so many gigs . It’s a shame we are only in Lagos rite now but we are gonna take it everywhere. We haven’t even launched properly yet.

LC: So how long have you being on radioOA: I have being on radio full time since 1998 but I have been in media for over 20 years

LC: Cool so If you could re-count your most liberating moments on air so far, what would they be?OA: Wow, there have being so many great moments. I can’t really think it’s hard. I think everyday you have moments where its that interaction between you and the listeners. That instant karma you get, the joy when someone calls in or sends a txt,when a listener comes in to collect their prize, when you play a particular song and people are feeling it. That’s the joy.LC: I totally get you, the number of times I have had OMG moments on the drive to work courtsey of your station. Ok so correct me if I’m wrong but we hear you are one of the founders of Storm records, Could you tell us more about your dealings at Storm?

OA: Storm is my other life,we founded Storm 1989 or there about .We actually registered it as a company in 1991 it was registered as Storm productions so Storm records is part of it, the holding company is Storm 360 we do all sorts we do events, we do television production, album realises. So yes I am a founding director and current director of Storm records, but its not just Storm records. Storm records is what people see out there because of the artists we produce. People like Neoto C ,Sasha. I mean this year coming up we are coming with so much fire we are gonna need to call the fire brigade to cool our office down. We are cooking so much.

LC: What are your comments on Darey living Storm RecordsOA: Darey is a friend we are like family,he joined us back in Cool Fm , I have known him since way back I’m friends with his mum I worked with his father back when I was with NTA back in 1988.

LC: You worked with NTA?OA: Yeah I worked “with” not for; I was on contract as an independent producer, going back to Darey. Darey is a very talented guy, he felt he didn’t need Storm and he could do things on his own and We wish him the best of luck . I am glad to see he is doing good things. A lot of artist announce that they are living Storm and a lot come back through the back door when they see that the grass aint so green on the other side. They underestimate the leverage we have and the power of our push.

LC: Now we know its all still in the brew, but could you give us any inside scoop on what to expect from storm anytime soon?OA: Neato C, Tosan Martins,Sasha , Sauce Kid all releasing albums. Gt the Guitar man

LC: Oh yeah heard you guys signed Gt up?OA: Yeah the long awaited album will be out, we have spent four years cooking it..its a killer album.

LC: You also anchor the television talent scout show NAIJASINGS, which is like another POP IDOL. How did you get involved with that?OA: Naija sings is not trying to be like Idols , I mean when we get to the final fourteen we’ll be doing different nights with Nigerian music and international music we wanna merge what is happening in the contemporary scene with our own indigenous material. We wanna bring the old music and mingle it with the new. As well as expose our musical culture I mean our heritage is so rich we have kinda forgotten it and we need to bring it back.

LC: How did you get involved with hosting the show and how do you see television production in Nigeria at present and in the near future.OA: I mean I have done some projects with Mnet before, I had co-hosted the show with a lovelly girl called michelle, But this time Storm was involved in the creative process. Storm and a company called Nevermachine were part of the creative process. And we are part of the production process (that is Storm 360). I didn’t really want to host it to be perfectly honest, but the problem was the programme needed a host with a musical knowledge that is beyond average in order to educate people properly. So it was after holding auditions and not finding someone to articulate this that I had to step in and do it. I am not saying I am the best presenter in Nigeria but that it’s a very specialised show.

LC: There has being a massive debate on the depth of lyrical contents of the records from the modern Nigerian artists brought on by journalist Ruben A’s article “A nations identity crisis”,not sure if you heard about it ,could you comment on this debate.OA: Ruben is a very intelligent man but I think he bit a little more than he could chew, I think the problem was the article was generalised way too much. Cause I mean there are a lot of young people doing great things. In any generation of music there will always be throw away songs. Not every song is gonna deep and meaningful and have a message it could just be a happy sing along song from Chris Okotie back in the day. Not every song Onyeka sang was deep and meaningful not every song Fela sang was deep as well Fela could sing a lot of throw away songs back in the day that just made you feel good. So you can’t just be too hard on the younger guys. Even in the States you get throw away songs that don’t mean anything. So I think it was just a bit too harsh.

LC: Where do you see the Nigerian music industry presently or in the future?OA: The present is good…but what I’d want to see is where artist get their right cut from album sales, they currently make the bulk of their money from performances. We need to attack the piracy issue and I’m glad to see we have a good man at the NCC at the moment, I want to see when Neato C will sell a million copies and get the benefit of selling those copies as opposed to just earning money from performance. We are starting a movement. I want to hear a white kid in Arkansas singing to Neoto C . I mean I was at the airport in Nairobi and they were playing P-square through the public speakers, You go out to a bar in J’bourg and its Nigerian music. We wanna take Nigerian music international. Then Next stop for Storm would be Movies

LC: Oh you mean like Nollywood?OA: Na better than Nollywood ,we’ll be using celluloid cameras.

LC: Finally to wrap up, could you offer any advice to any up and coming media personalities and artists?OA:Lets try put it simply. Don’t follow the Money,follow the dream.

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Mr Incredible RevealedHey bville, just thought I'd share a question and answer session with Mc extraodinaire of the moment Mr Incredible aka MI . This session was brought to you courtesy of the drive time show with Gbemi on the Beat99.9 fm.

Q: What was the last book you read?MI: The Bible, I read it cause I needed to mark reference for some lines I'm about to drop.

Q: What movies have you watched more than five times.MI: That would have to be Love Actually,Notting Hill..Well im a bit of a rom com fan . oh and Jayz’s performance at Glastonbury.

Q: What did you last steal..as in what item have you stolen of recent.MI: That would have to be my mums jewelry….yes I'm shamed face…actually stole it for a girlfriend..cant mention her name just incase she is listening

Q: Have you ever been heartbroken?MI: Yes I have been. I think it was back in 2000 or there-about

Q: So tell us,are you in a relationship at the moment?MI: No im not.

Q: What about you and KelMI: Shout out to Kel my baby mama....jokes im joking but na we never dated.

Q: If you could date any woman in naija who would it be?MI: That would be Rita Dominic..and no jokes men I think she is Hot!!

Q: What did you first buy after you had your big break?MI: That would be a car

Q: What model was it…oh what would be your dream car?MI: Ha..that is an X6 a BMW X6

Q: Where would you love to travel to that you have not been to already?MI: I would like to have one of those hoidays where you rent a bicycle and go backpacking around,like in Italy for a year or something like that.

Q: What would be your dream collaboration both nationally and internationally?MI: Nationally I think Asa…and Dbanj but yeah im friends with Dbanj so that might just happen soon..im actually friends with a couple of them guys 2face,Banky W..actually myself and Banky W workout together

Q Ohhh can I come watch.....MI: LOOL, ..Then internationally ..I would like to work with my man Kanye men….

Q: Boxers or Briefs?MI : Boxers

Q: Cats or Dogs?MI: Dogs I’m actually about to get a bulldog.

Q: Whats you favourite food?MI: Pounded yam and eforiro soup..men my top three meal would be pounded yam with draw soup and pounded yam with another soup.

Q:What is your favourite colour?MI: The point at which blue and green met.

Q: Who are your best friends?MI: JC Cell and Ice prince

Q: Who is your role model?MI: That would be my Father.

Q: Do you think you are a role model?MI: By default yes I think to a certain extent and I must add its intimidating.

Q: Could you share any crazy groupie stories?MI: Yeah there was one chic,I can actually mention her name Ada, and she was trying to show off how much of a party girl she was by drinking a lot and she ended up fallin asleep in her own vomit…Oh and if there is an ada standing next to you saying she is not the one..then she probably is…

Q: How old are you,or should we say how young are you?MI: Well lets just say im older than 25 but younger than 28

Q: So whats your spec in women?MI: For me its all about having a great mind and a great behind..thats our ability to hold a deep conversation.

Q:Have you got any bad habits that you would rather not have.MI: That would probably be biting my nails.

Q: Are you right or left handed?MI: Right handed

Q: Do you have any body parts that you are insecure about?MI: Well I guess I already know Im not a fine boy ..so im really not sure.

Q: If you could have any super powers what would they be?MI: I'cd be invincible

Q: Have you ever dated anyone taller than you?MI: Yeah I have ,she was actually taller and older than me…she was about 6inches taller and 4 years older .

Q: What is your favourite female body part?MI: Well I want to own an Aston Martin one day and I really like astronauts..you get my drift.. lol…(errrrr.....ok)

All in all Mr incredible came off as a very pleasant guy and really down to earth and funny…ok ok maybe this is my own groupie story….We'll keep trying to get our own personal interview so we can ask him all the questions you naijadaydreamer followers want to ask him… Check out his new song “God bless you” which he said was written about himself and how he feels when he is constantly on the road and he finally gets back home to family and friends ..and cough cough..Her…...

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Heyy blogsville,I know I havn't posted any write-up in a long time. I just never have time to sit down in one-spot. I have been crazy busy, but I have so much ramdon thoughts to write about.

The title is based on this post by Linda Ikeji, one of my fave bloggers, and it definately moved me. She was brutally honest and genuine, and I admire her so much more now. I usually found her blog more like a magazine, and less like a blog, but this post erases that perception. I have been having the same problem with my posts. Because my blog is not anonymous, and has put me in trouble several times(yes I have gotten calls from random people about my posts), it means I am more and more careful about what I write. I have been avoiding putting any personal stuff on it, and focused on writing articles, kinda like Linda's blog. But like she said, there is not point having a blog and not being able to express yourself, so I will try to hold back as little as possible now. Here goes nothing::

I am worried. I am at cross roads in my life, and I am not sure what to do. Majority of the big decisions in my life have been taken in conjuction with my parents. Thankfully, they have never directed me wronglly, and I have no regrets. But it has gotten to the stage where they always ask me what I want, and the truth is that I do not know. I have a rough idea but I do not know for sure. I am constantly second guessing myself and in doubt, and it is a shit feeling. I am worried about:

My dissertation- It is proving difficult and elusive. As usual, I left it to the last minute, so I have 2weeks to write on a topic that I have barely researched on because I was working most of the summer in London. I am just hoping for a pass right now.

Getting a job- This is my biggest worry. I am even scared of completing my dissertation because then I have to figure out what to do next. Right now I am hoping to get a job here and work till next year June before I go to law school. But there is the option of going back home and starting my NYSC. This is not something I want to do right now, but the prospects of getting a satisfying job are very very slim, especially in law. Legal jobs are so hard to get, it is unbelievable. The truth is that I am not really interested in working a random 9-5 job just to get by, as I know it is only a matter of time before I get bored and want to jump out of the office window. I am restless and constantly need a challenge to stay sane. If only I could get paid to blog all day........dreams.......The other option is to do the LPC and become a qualified lawyer here, I am not really interested in doing that, as I do not see the point if I am not going to stay here in the long-run. Besides, it is mostly property, equity and public law which I hated during my undergrad, and I dont want to go through that again. I think I want to work for now.I hate cross-roads. I have never been in a position where I do not know what I am doing next, and it is a shit feeling.

Homelessness-I get kicked out of my apartment in 2 weeks, to co-incide with the end of uni, and I am homeless. I might have no choice but to live my relatives, and that is definately a last resort. Because I do not know where I might get a job, I do not want to get another flat here, and be stuck with a 6months tenancy that I do not need. I love having my own space so this sucks.

Relationships-This year has been so dramatic in the love department. Too many guys have come and gone, and I have again come to my conclusion that Nigerian guys are mostly useless, lol. Miss L.C always says it is not about quantity but about quality, and the quality around is so low, its almost non-existent. I have met so many guys that are so full of shit that it is part of thier DNA! But at the same time, I have met several special guys that have given me alot of love(and troubles). I am worried that I am losing my faith in the male species, and losing the belief of finding the one. I am worried that I will never find someone I can be in love with long enough to get committed to, or worse still get married. Which leads to my other problem: I get bored so easily. I find it exciting when I meet someone new, and I am getting to know them, feeling infatuated, and then ............I get bored. It is a pattern with me, that few guys have been able to break. I am worried that a time will come when I will find someone great but will eventually get bored!

Settling Down-I am worried about the thought of having to commit to one person for the rest of my life. The thought of forever and ever daunts me like crazy. I was at my cousins wedding in New York a week ago, and everyone kept praying for my own time to come, and it was all so funny to me. At least I have the excuse of school now, once I start working, the calls from my mum, aunts and relatives will start piling in, like they have for all my older cousins and it worries me. The worst part is that those same cousins that went through the whole thing and were complaining are the ones giving me the same lecture about settling down. This also brings me to my next worry

Flirting- I am a flirt. It is a problem I have had since the day I discovered boys. Also I find it challenging when a guy I am flirting with does not respond. I take it as a personal affront and do not take rejection very well. This is a very deadly combination. I have yet to find a guy who I like enough to make stop me flirting with other guys. Therefore I am worried that if I do settle down, I will have to stop flirting, and I do not know how. And no, I am not a slag!LOL

Health- I am worried about my health. Lately, I have been very well, but I am worried it will not last. Most importantly, I am worried that I when I move back to Nigeria, I will not have access to the medicines and healthcare I have here. Coupled with the threat of Malaria and other tropical diseases, I am worried I will cannot cope there anymore.

Writing- I am worried that I am not a good writer. Because I love writing and reading so much, I constantly compare myself to other amatuer writers such as S.B and my fear that I do not measure up seem to be getting greater. I was recently asked to write for a Nespaper in london, and I have not been able to submit anything because like I said earlier I have a fear of rejection(is there a dictionary word for that fear lol)

Failure-And finally, I have a fear of failure. Because I am drifer and dreamer, I have never had one direction/focus. I love/enjoy so many things that I have always had a fear of being a jack of all trades. I never stick at one thing long enough to be great at it. I am always average.The best example is sports. I have done fencing, badmington, table tennis, yoga, pilates and lately swimming. But I never go for more than 10 classes in any of them before I get bored and give up!LOL I am worried that this will be a life pattern. I guess I can console myslef becauseI have never quit school. I just hope I dont give up on this blog someday!

Monday, 10 August 2009

The grey Peugeot pulled up the pattern imprinted driveway and Jen hopped out of the backseat with a wave goodbye at Mr and Mrs John. Turning 360 degrees, Jen surveyed her surroundings; they say you can tell a lot about a person from their home so maybe this centre hall plan brick house with double porches could tell her about“You are all mine now” Esosa interrupted her thoughts with an evil laugh.Jen suppressed a laugh and continued to study her whereabouts.

The rectangular planned building with the symmetrically placed window openings and centred entrance seemed to rise from the curved driveway. The door was plain wood illuminated by sidelights and the windows were likewise without ornamentation, having only a sill of wood in the same tone around the edges. The only decorative elements were at the cornice on the roof where the bricks were set at an angle in a corbelled effect.

“Jennifer come here” Esosa said speaking slowly and gesturing into the house.

“Your roof is very pointed” Jen said not moving an inch

“Into the house Jen” Esosa repeated

“No dog barking. I thought you'd have a dog”

Esosa marched down and placing his hands on both her shoulders dragged her into his home. “Shouldn’t you have brought me flowers?” he enquired taking her sweater and placing it at the back of the only sofa in the room.

“Wow u used bricks for your dwelling inside as well” Jen continued to look round“You know what happened to the pigs who built theirs out of hay and straw” Esosa said with a knowing look. Jen smiled and pretended to huff and puff.The red stone tiles laid on the floor stretched out from the welcome mat at the door and down the hall, marking out the entire living area. On one side of the hallway a large corner dark blue sofa that looked comfortable enough to sit at least six dominated the area facing the large TV squarely. Jen found that surprising as she didn’t think Esosa watched a lot of television. Adjacent to the television was a reclining reading chair with foot stool and two dark wood bookshelves which bore heavy hardcopies of titles ranging from Dumas's Three Musketeers to Soyinka’s The Interpreters. Ah now this is what she expected to see. Jen ran her fingers along the titles counting the ones she'd heard of: Ngũgĩ wa Thiong'o, Shakespeare, Mazuri, Achebe, Chinodya, Defoe, Fitzgerald, Amadi, Bronte, Dickens, Twain, Wilde…Jen’s finger stalled at Austen raising an eyebrow, Esosa calmly placed his copy of Pride & Prejudice underneath a copy of Rich Dad, Poor Dad

“You did not see that” he said softly.

Jen carried on shaking her head; as she continued to roam, her finger had gathered no dust all through its travels. Esosa read everything from politics- Social Statistics by Spencer & White’s Utopia- to sociology- Understanding Classical Sociology by Marx.

“Where is your Harry Potter?” Jen said half-jokingly

“Upstairs with the rest of my books” Esosa responded seriously

“The rest of them…?” Jen looked at the books on display

“The books I have already read and enjoyed are the ones you see here. These ones on the top shelf are those I am yet to read.”

Jen looked through the titles on the top shelf, The Thing Around Your Neck, Book Thief and Time Traveler’s Wife.Jen understood that, Esosa was a man who surrounded himself with memories and things that mattered to him. She already knew that the flowery blue material on the lamp shade on the side-table was sewn by his step-mother, probably the light blue covers for the throw pillows scattered on his sofa as well.

“So if you enjoy it then you place it here, to be read again later but if you don’t…?” she asked

“I donate it to the library”

Jen gave all titles another quick glance, “you only have the tragedies of Shakespeare.”“He writes much better about the sad stuff”“That's disturbing Esosa”

Jen said“A redeeming factor” Jen picked up the copy of Gulliver’s Travels from atop a cushion. The pages were dog-eared and the cover worn. It had obviously been read a 1001 times.

“So you want to meet the Lilliputians” she asked with a sweet smile. Esosa looked confused for a while then he followed Jen's gaze

“No that’s for my brother Osaze. I swear he’s read it 20 times”

Seeing as Esosa didn’t exaggerate Jen believed him. She was also interested to meet the person whose favourite book involved meeting tiny people.

“Where is your brother? Is he here?”

“Want to see the rest of the house?” Esosa jumped up agilely ignoring her question.On the opposite side of the hallway was the wet bar and stairs which led upstairs. The wide distressed mirror reflected the wine and whiskey glasses that hung in wooden rafters above a clear table top. The air conditioner hoisted was on the wall beside it. The table top was cool to touch and transparent, Jen walked over and looked through to see drinks sitting on ice. Esosa reached in and grabbed her Maltina taking the top off in the inbuilt bottle-opener at the bottom. He offered a straw but she refused. Jen could see him doing this most nights after work proceeding to his reading chair and switching on the lamp to immerse himself in a book.Jen followed Esosa down the hall; the first door was a pantry lit by an exposed bulb. It was narrow as a broom cupboard and as tall as she was; but it housed tubers of yam and sacks of potato and rice. Clear nylons displayed egusi seeds and beans, stored with pepper to preserve the freshness. The final door was the kitchen; long room which had wooden drawers and a wide white porcelain sink. Behind the gas hob was exposed brick work adding character to the room. The net door at the other end led out into the backyard and Jen could see Esosa’s AYGO parked safely.Doubling back Esosa led Jen up the wooden staircase to reveal yet another long hallway with doors at opposite ends. Esosa pointed down the right as his room and towards his left as the bedroom. Looks like Osaze slept on the couch.

Jen walked in the direction of his bedroom with Esosa muttering “I don't know what you are hoping to find”.

He switched on the low ceiling lights as she walked through the door and the twisted iron wrought headboard gave the Queen sized bed an impressive stance. It was centred as the focus point and covered in sky blue sheets with four fluffy pillows. The built in glass sliding wardrobes also doubled as a mirror but she was sure Esosa put it in merely to reflect the light coming from his window. It had no curtains but merely two shutters, one for shade and ventilation and the other for complete black-out. Jen looked at his view of the commercial street, the street lamps shone on cyber cafes, bars and coffee joints. Down the street she could see the bus depot as well.

“I can see your whole day in my head” Jen said from the window

“Good.” Esosa said “Let’s hear it”

“You get up pretty early, stretch by the foot of the bed here” Jen pointed to the right side of the bed “kneel and pray here…”

“Pray?” Esosa asked.

In response Jen pointed to the Bible that poked out from under his pillows.

“Walk down the hall to brush your teeth, telling your brother to get up while leaning on the banister.”

“So far so good” Esosa encouraged

“Get dressed while Osaze makes breakfast and drop him off at the bus depot. You probably pick him up too on your way back from work, and then afterwards he watches TV while you read by your lamp. You each take turns getting the drinks”

“Wow sounds pretty boring”

“Sounds stable” Jen reassured

“Ok Madam detective, dinner” Esosa called from the doorway with an amused smile.He led her further down the hall and through a narrow archway, which Jen hadn’t seen as they climbed the stairs, and into an open flat space. Esosa stepped out first. It hung by the side of the house as a sort of extension to the building. Jen gave Esosa a look“Its safe” he reassured. Jen didn’t move from the archway“See” Esosa demonstrated by jumping up and down on the concrete floor, supported by steel beams. Jen summoned up the courage and walked onto it.The balcony was a large space- almost as large as the whole lounge downstairs. Tall metal railings ran along the edges, doubling as a protective barrier and a seating area. The space was bare apart from a circular wooden table and two chairs. The white tablecloth that was draped across the table lifted in the wind and two dark blue coolers rested heavily to stop it soaring away. It was much cooler out here and Jen wished she held on to her sweater.

“This is why the roof top is so pointed” Esosa said pulling out a chair. As she sat, Esosa said “Oh the drinks. Please wait here” He rushed through the archway and Jen heard his feet on the stairs. Standing up she walked to the edge to better examine the view from all sides and saw a large plot of land with an uncompleted building and a kiln. Neighbours she thought, it’s a shame that Esosa won't have this 360 view for long but on the upside this terrace provided an even greater view of the commercial district. Jen people watched as Lagosians bought suya and grooved to the music drifting out of the joint.

“Be careful” Esosa warned as he returned with two bottles of red wine and her sweater. Sometimes Jen thought he was telepathic. Jen tugged on her sweater and sat back down as he once again pulled out her chair and laid the drinks carefully on the table.

“You have a great view. I’m jealous” Jen sulked

“Thank you” Esosa smiled “You enjoy people watching more than I do anyway”. He lifted the covers and the aroma of jollof rice wafted into the air. Handing Jen the serving spoon, he also gestured to the smaller cooler revealing thickly cut pieces of meat in a sauce garnished with farm vegetables. The carrots, peas, runner beans, red and green peppers looked so good that Jen’s tummy rumbled like it had not been fed just an hour ago. She dove in and served herself while Esosa poured the wine into their glasses. The pitcher of water that stood on the table beside the coolers was ignored and with each breeze the ice cubes and lemon pieces swirled lonely in the water. As usual the conversation came light and easy, Jen praised his food and he begged her to admit that he was a better cook than she was. They laughed a lot and after scraping her plate- no need to front- Jen and Esosa sat on a red woven mat close to the edge of the balcony to spy on unsuspecting Lagosians. Giggling like naughty teenagers they formulated stories for everyone that passed by: secret chocoholic, in love with the girl next door, planning a nuclear attack on Switzerland, hates cheese, loves cookies…They laughed so loudly that a tipsy bald man looked up at the roof and in his drunken haze invited them both to his mansion. “No thank you” they chorused as the man danced to D’banj singing the lyrics of Fall in Love to Jennifer. She sang back to him as Esosa negotiated a price on her head, they got all the way to ₦6000 when the first drops of rain started to fall.

The lightning in the distance streaked powerfully across the sky, indicating they won't be able to weather the storm and hurriedly they got up rolling the mat and packing up empty coolers and plates downstairs. True to Lagos, the downpour got heavy quickly as the heavens blessed the land with a month of rain at once. Esosa insisted Jen remain downstairs while he brought down the table and chairs. Jen stubbornly climbed up halfway before deciding she didn’t want a lecture and veered off into the bathroom.

Turning on the light she gazed around the room. The bathroom was a good size and the bathroom fixtures gleamed. The white linear pedestal basin, back to wall WC and overhead sliding mirror unit shone as the illuminated mirror brought her face into sharp focus.Jen thought she would look like crap...for lack of a better word; she had not touched up her make-up since she first put it on this morning, her sweater was two sizes larger than she was and she was sure she smelt like the traffic she was stuck in on her way home. It didn’t matter to Jen; she was coming to see Esosa after all so there was no need for fuss; another difference between tonight and her date with Kabir where she had spent hours preening. Also, despite being as quick as they could retreating from the balcony as nature took Jen still got partly drenched in the rain, so it was a complete shock when the reflection in the mirror was almost beautiful in its messiness. Her hair was damp and had turned partly wavy in its wetness, the curls bounced off her cheeks- which shone- and the strands dripped water on the tiled floor. The now soggy sweater clung to her breasts in a way Jen had never seen it do before and her lips kissed by the first rain for months looked wet and inviting. Her long ago applied rosy lip balm had sprung to life once again and Jen ran her tongue over her lower lip, causing something or the shadow of something to stir in her belly. Jen didn’t want to admit it but since the Kabir incident she had stopped viewing herself as anything but someone who worked at Holloway Grove. Yes, she got dressed but lost her self-confidence, she certainly no longer thought of herself as pretty…till now...Staring at her reflection in the bathroom in Esosa's house she felt absolutely gorgeous even with her mascara not exactly in place. Maybe it’s because its Esosa's mirror a little voice said.Jen pushed it aside when she heard his voice at the door “You can’t hide in there forever”“Yes I can” Jen replied opening the door and smiling. Esosa pulled her out gently “Seriously with the rate this rain is going the electricity will give out soon. I want you where I can see you”“I want you where I can see you” Jen repeated in a bad imitation of his voice. He nudged her playfully as they walked downstairs turning on the light. Jen sat on one end of the sofa comfortably as he switched on the reading lamp in the room casting the shelves in spotlight; Jen and Esosa exchanged a look as the rain begins to thunder heavily on the roof- really heavily.

“What time did you planning on leaving because this looks like it might go on for a while? First rain of the season” Esosa said. Jen looks at her watch- 10.00pm- she should be leaving around now to be honest but as the thunder boomed loudly Jen didn’t see how that was going to be possible. Esosa lay on the opposite end of the sofa looking happily at her. He looked smug.

Jen calls her mom and manages through the sketchy reception to make out her warnings to stay put.“They are saying it will flood” her mom yells down the receiver“This country is never prepared for anything” her dad complains. Jen assumed she must be on speaker phone.“I am just saying I might make it home late” Jen enunciated her words“No please stay where you are. If the rain stops fine but if it doesn’t we’ll just see you in the morning” her mom said and her dad agreed. Jen hangs up and meets Esosa’s look“Okay, your parents are very liberal” he said

“My mom thinks I’m over at Meg’s” Jen answered not meeting his gaze“So you lied” Esosa said slowly

“Yes” Jen answered softly

“Interesting”

Jen throws a pillow at him, he throws it back at her, so she fires two at once, he dodges them both like a pro and pulls her foot sliding her across the couch. Screaming Jen grabs onto the arm rest with her fingernails and springboards on his abs, aiming she lunges the last throw pillow in her arsenal square into his face. Esosa takes the hit and grabbing onto her bare feet slides her even further down, laughing Jen bumps into him and Esosa tickles her till she’s out of breath. Gasping Jen takes stock of her position, her legs were pinned down with his knee and his right hand imprisoned both her palms. They were both wet and panting; Esosa’s eyes locked on her mouth and Jen thought right about now would be a good time to move away, so she did.Esosa let her go immediately perhaps sensing her hesitation, as soon as she was released Jen started to think that maybe being in bondage would be great. Her body enjoyed the uncomfortable position it had been twisted in. She locked eyes with him not saying a word and Esosa fastened her knees in the position it had previously been in, Jen made no noises as with a gentle jerk Esosa brought her to him, his knees around her back. Jen did not uncross her arms or stop frowning; they were playing a game now; Esosa uncrossed her arms and laid her palms on his chest one after the other. Bringing his head to hers, he laid his fore-head on her hair, breathing in the scent of rain. Stylishly giving her time to refuse, Jen did not move- this was a night of possibilities right?

Give us your best shot Oyakilhome.Esosa as if hearing her thoughts bit her lower lip, Jen sighed. This was different, she thought he would be gentle but he was manhandling her instead. It felt good Jen craved the friction; his lips abused hers and continued to lay havoc as her forgotten hormones awoke with a jolt.As his mouth became rough on hers and her breathing quickened the lights went out with a pop!

Shouts of NEPA from passersby were yelled up and down the avenue and in his living room was darkness so thick that Jen could barely make out his features although her lips were still pressed to his and his nose was against her cheek .This should be awkward she thought and waited for her palms to get sweaty as she became self-conscious but instead a giggle escaped her lips, Jen tried to stall it but it grew more frantic and a second later Esosa chuckled alongside. They laughed in the darkness at the sheer silliness of the situation and Jen’s shoulders rose and fell with laughter till she felt his mouth against hers once more; she gasped his tongue slid in. Jen marvelled at the yoga dance they got into. Her brain was not completely shut off but her body had a mind of its own and it curved into his chest with her arms interlocking around his neck. Jen could hear his heart thudding away at rapid speed as if begging to be set free, his calloused palms slid under her sweater, under her shirt and up her back, her skin bucked at his touch and Jen kissed more furiously tasting wine and spices on his tongue. Now it was his turn to be surprised and her lips felt beginnings of a smile tug the corners of his mouth. It became heated, the rain poured even harder around the house, the wind rushing in from the only slightly ajar window but the lounge suddenly became very steamy. They were going to be here awhile, there was no rush and take their time ripping each other apart with enraging desire. If it would go farther than kissing and groping on the sofa Jen wasn’t sure. Maybe they weren’t ready, but for now Jen pushed herself harder against Esosa almost moulding herself to him, his lips taking from her as his hands cautiously crept up her flat stomach towards her bra.......

“Why is it so dark in here?” a voice from the doorway. Jen and Esosa bump heads as they are surprised by the interruption. They lay still for a second, panting and trying to get a bearing on their surroundings. Jen quietly untangles herself from Esosa and hurriedly readjusts her attire, patting her hair into place. Esosa takes deep breaths to calm himself down.

“My God it’s pouring outside” a voice came from directly behind them just as the front door shut and the emergency electric lamp was switched on bringing the face into focus.Osaze was home.