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Monday, October 23, 2006

Flyin' the filthy skies

It's not news to those of us who place themselves at the mercy of the airlines on a regular basis that air travel ain't what it used to be. Forget the indignities of airport security; we're used to those by now. (Except for the "remove shoes" part. I'll never get used to that.) And anyway, we're all willing to make sacrifices for security.

No, I'm talking about the non-security stuff that happens once you board the plane. My biggest non-security airline complaint is that people are allowed to bring food on-board. Not just chips and candy. I mean greasy-smelling fast-food junk that permeates the already stifling air in the cabin. Fortunately, I'm not prone to air sickness, but pity those poor people so inclined, forced to inhale the mingling odors of fries, meatball sandwiches, fried onions, pizza in a crowded, enclosed space! It's like traveling in 3rd Class steerage with the other immigrants in 1893.

Now that the airlines no longer feed us (even bad airline food was something), folks are left with no alternative but to bring aboard sacks of Burger King and Sbarro. But - phew! - what a stench! And it seems the stench is only part of the problem, as the New York Times revealed in "Beware of the Squish Behind the Jet Seat" . Classify it as "Stuff I Really Didn't Want to Know," and file with all those reports on hotel rooms and restaurants.

I'd bring a little Febreeze and Lysol on board with me, but that - as we know - is no longer allowed. It sets me thinking, though. Which is the bigger security risk? A few ounces of antibacterial sanitizer, or the remnants of the "squish behind the seat"?