The 10 sure signs you're playing for the Mets

Flushing, New York -- It's hard enough being a Mets fan, putting up with a Scrooge of an owner and a stooge of a general manager. Imagine playing for this talentless team. Put yourself in their bargain store spikes and consider the 10 top indications that you belong to one of the most clueless ball clubs the major leagues have ever known.

1. Forget Gatorade. Start getting used to the taste of Crocodile Tears.

2. You have to convince management that a "Bernie Madoff Bobble Head Night" isn't such a hot idea.

3. It suddenly dawns on you why they call it Flushing.

4. They rename Citi Field YOUR MESSAGE HERE STADIUM.

5. The team's farm system switches over from player development to organic lettuce.

6. Instead of signs, your catcher uses second hand smoke signals.

7. The pitching coach keeps confusing Altoids with steroids. As a result, the bullpen wins "The Freshest Breath In Baseball Award."

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