Thoughts from the interface of science, religion, law and culture

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

EVENTS

Dobson and Nance: God Said No

As I discussed many times prior to the election, there were a whole bunch of prayer rallies, most of them lasting 40 days, to beg God to release the country from the grip of Obama’s tyrannical reign. And yet none of them worked; Obama won anyway. James Dobson and Penny Nance say God did answer prayer, he just said no.

Dobson: Many, many, many Christians were praying and we really need to address that issue first: where was God? Because there were these ’40 Days of Prayer,’ there were several of those that took place, where people fasted and prayed for forty days asking the Lord for His intervention on Election Day. We did a program last week where my wife Shirley came in with her vice-chairman John Bornschein and told how three hundred Gideon prayer warriors came to Washington, went to every single office of the House of Representatives and the Senate and prayed for the occupant, prayed for our representatives, went to the White House, went in a vigil to the Supreme Court, which is now at great risk, and went to the Pentagon. People like that were praying all over this country and the Lord said no.

Nance: He said no.

But didn’t Jesus say that whenever two or more ask something of him, it will be done? Yep, he did. But he apparently didn’t mean it. And how was God supposed to make this happen? Was he going to go all Svengali on people and forcibly change their mind? Whatever happened to free will? Fundamentalists simply cannot grasp or admit that the things they believe about prayer are completely incoherent and inconsistent. And they eliminate the cognitive dissonance this creates by inventing post hoc rationalizations of what it all means. Like this:

Dobson: Because we lost this election does not mean that the Lord has turned His back on us. I think this is a time of judgment but those of us who are trying to serve Him and defend the things that He has taught, may yet see Him act. He said no this time but who knows what will happen in the future. Nobody knows.

Nance: Nothing is too big for God. God can use this President just like He can anyone else, and He has throughout history used people who were not believers and were not followers of the Lord or followers of the God throughout the Bible to do his work, so we will pray to that end and trust the Lord knows what He’s doing, but I’m already looking ahead to 2014.

Yes, you’ll keep praying. And it will change nothing, but no matter what the outcome you will simply invent another post hoc explanation for it. This is how the silly belief in the power of prayer is made invincible to rationality.

“Nothing is too big for God”. Geez, what a great example of how infantile religion, especially fundy religion, is at bottom. That is precicely the kind of deep theological insight I used to have when I was, like, eight.

Actually, James and Nance, I just got my Almighty-to-English translator perfectly calibrated, and here’s what His awesome answer was to you guys: “Shut the fuck up you miserable, moronic, drooling fuck-nuggets who are ruining everything you touch — kind of like a reverse King Midas who turns everything to dogshit instead of gold — and whose incessant, whiny voices give me galaxy-size migraines. Also, just fuck off and kill yourselves immediately and leave the Earth to those people who actually enjoy it and care for it.”

I think this is a time of judgment but those of us who are trying to serve Him and defend the things that He has taught, may yet see Him act.

Sounds like a threat. Translation: Hang tight. When we get back into power, we God will make liberals suffer!

… so we will pray to that end and trust the Lord knows what He’s doing…

You’re damn right you’ll trust the Lord. How dare you even think of questioning him. Now shut up get back to praying. You know the Lord needs constant ego-stroking, or else he’ll roll some terrestrial catastrophe your way, and you will quiver with fear and soil your pants when his external voice booms…

Modusoperandi, that’s the beauty of it; any old plastic gallon milk jug works. I’m not sure whether half-gallon jugs or glass bottles only work half as well or require twice as many prayers to be as effective.

I’m surprised we haven’t seen a growing chorus of “God didn’t answer our prayers because we backed a Mormon|” A lot of those kind of folks were holding their noses as they voted for Romney in the first place, so you’d think they’d now be moaning about how they should have known better.

Friends, cut your praying time! For only $99.95 plus shipping and handling, I will send any US citizen one genuine Canadian jug of milk – fully Four Litres – that’s more that Two Hundred Millilitres more than a puny US gallon.

Little things like: Mark 10:21 “sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven” or 10:25 “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God” or Luke 3:11 “Let the man with two tunics share with him who has none, and let him who has food do likewise.”

This open contempt for democracy is appalling. If the leadership of the country should come down to god’s will and not that of the people, why even have an election in the first place? Let’s just go back to tribal chieftains who are descended directly from the sun god.

And how was God supposed to make this happen? Was he going to go all Svengali on people and forcibly change their mind? Whatever happened to free will?

No you see he will “open men’s hearts.” Because The Truth is obvious to anyone who’s heart hasn’t been hardened by Satan. So what they’re really asking is for God to stop Satan from blocking our free will.

Trackbacks

[…] the Mormons the courtesy (and the respect) of communicating in a very forthright fashion. Like god said to the millions doing 40 day prayer rallies before Obama was re-elected, the OC Weekly firmly, and without equivocation, told the Mormons “no.”We’re not […]