Tuesday, October 07, 2008

RAID!!!

My buddy, Corin came back from Iraq a few weeks ago for his midtour leave. While he was here, we took him out for some sushi. Afterwards, we drove to my parents' house where he told my dad stories about some of the battles that he was involved in while in Iraq.

I decided to take him out for some drinks. Zelda stayed home because she was tired. We got in the car and started driving. I asked him where he wanted to go.

Corin: "I have $300 in singles. Where do you think I want to go?"

Me: "Tittie bar it is."

We went to the Houston Penthouse Club. When I go to these places, I just go to hang out with friends, drink a beer or two, and look at the nice "scenery". I don't like to get lap dances or flirt with the strippers. It's just not my thing. Corin, having served several months in Iraq and not being able to see gorgeous American women, had a lot of fun. We sat back, ordered a couple of beers and watched. Corin, takes out $40 in singles and sets it on the table. In no time, a few girls came by. They took him into a corner for a lap dance. Another girl came up to me and asked me if I wanted anything. I told her I was there to drive my buddy home, but thanks for asking. Another girl just came over to me, sat on my lap, and started talking. Again, I told her I was just there as a driver for my friend. She asked if I wanted a lap dance. I told her no thanks but to make sure she does give Corin a lap dance as soon as he was done with the last one.

She asked me, "What? Are you gay?"

I responded, "Do you want me to be gay?"

She lifted up my hand and looked at my wedding ring. I said, "Yes, I'm married." She responded, "You are such a good person." I answered, "Thanks," as I gave her a few dollars from Corin's stash on the table.

Corin eventually disappeared for several hours. Apparently, he took out some more money and got into the VIP champagne room. He had a lot of fun.

A few days later, we found out that the club was raided the following night. Whew! That was a close one.

About Me

I'm a crack-ho lazy mom who vacillates between feelings of inadequacy and delusions of grandeur. I am not bothered by kid snot, garlic breath or Bob Dylan's voice. But pinch me with your toes and I will probably kill you.