Thursday, December 2, 2010

WikiLeaks cables: Filthy Smirch !

A tissue of lies has appeared in the Homeward Gazette:

Badfort is a corrupt, autocratic kleptocracy centred on the leadership of Beaver Hateman in which officials, oligarchs and organised crime are bound together to create a "virtual mafia state", according to leaked secret diplomatic cables that provide a damning American assessment ofthe Badfort regime.

In his cables the US ambassador details countless examples of the theft and extortion carried out by the Badfort Crowd:

1) The farmer, Butterskin Mute, reports the theft of his largest pumpkins by Mister Hateman.2) Mister Hateman pretended that he owned Lonely Tower (belonging to Uncle) and charged the occupants excessive rents.3) Mister Hateman impersonated a school inspector and forged a permit to Sweet Tower for the children on order to appear generous at Uncle's expense.4) Mister Hateman attempted to defraud Uncle by substituting gold for gilt lead.5) Mister Hateman attempted to extort free food from Cadcoon's Store and when he was refused set the store on fire.The ambassador went on to say:"Beaver Hateman cannot be trusted - he likes to portray himself as the champion of the people, a modern day Robin Hood. But it is quite clear that his main aim is to steal from the rich (Uncle) and give to himself. His cloak of revolutionary fervour is merely a mask for criminal activity."Beaver Hateman made clear he was not amused by a US diplomat's description of him . "To be honest with you, we did not suspect that this [criticism] could be made with such arrogance, with such rudeness, and you know, so unethically," he remarked.

Lies all lies! Who are the Yanks to lecture us? After years marked by brutal totalitarianism, economic chaos and the undermining of democratic processes by American imperialism, Badfort is moving forward!

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About Me

I am the leader of the Badfort Revolutionary Front. Our aim - to depose Uncle, the Dictator of Homeward. A fat, bullying , pompous tyrant. His vast wealth will be redistributed amongst the deserving poor of Badfort.