13th December 2015

A lot of British gamers will remember the superb Digitiser magazine which ran on Teletext on Channel 4 between 1993 and 2003.

What a lot of people perhaps aren’t aware of is the behind the scenes turmoil that went on between its writer, Paul Rose (aka Mr Biffo), and the management of Teletext Ltd. The latter were worried that the strange characters, surreal humour and irreverent language-me-do didn’t really fit in on a text-based information service (owned by the Daily Mail!) which was probably better known for holiday adverts and trivia quizzes.

Last year Mr Biffo resurrected Digitiser in the form of a new website, and over the past few days he has been telling the story of his time at Teletext, how Digitiser got off the ground, the battles with management, its decline and the final, triumphant end. Part One of the story is here.

If you were never a fan of the Man’s Daddy and his jokes, you can still take one thing away from the tale. In the epilogue to the story, Biffo tells the story of a Q&A session he held at a recent gaming convention:-

I got asked by an audience member what I considered to be the meaning of life.

I’m sure he was looking for a funny answer – “Shoes filled with prawns and dentist poo!” I could’ve said to uproarious laughter – but I could only think of something sincere.

Wincing at my own profound earnestness, I told him that the most important thing in life is to be with people who let you be you. Whether it’s your other half, a best friend, colleagues, your parents, your children, or simply yourself… you deserve to be celebrated – not pressured to conform to the ideals of others. For the most part, I’ve got that today, in spades; an amazing partner, great kids, good mates – and people I’ve mostly never met who support my writing. I’m blessed.

It’s too easy to fall into roles, or relationships, or jobs, where your unique you-ness is suppressed, or not valued. It doesn’t matter if you’re crap at DIY, or hate football, or you’re messy, or scruffy, or clumsy, or have a weird sense of humour, or like video games – find places in life where all of that is appreciated. Or, at least, not beaten down. Don’t compromise on this.

17th December 2015

Rail franchising! Does any topic get people more excited? In pubs and saloons up and down the country, people are clustered around tables, excitedly discussing Invitations to Tender, Passenger Service Requirements and non-compliant bids!

No? Just me, then.

The government yesterday announced that the Northern franchise had been won by Arriva (owned by German state railway operator Deutsche Bahn). They had beaten out Abellio (owned by Dutch state railway operator Nederlandse Spoorwegen) and Govia (70% owned by French state railway operator SNCF). Remember, state ownership of railways is bad, unless it’s a foreign state.

Arriva have a long shopping list of improvements, and it’s long overdue. The north’s rail services have suffered ever since the boneheaded decision by the Department for Transport, back in 2004 under Labour, to let the Northern franchise on a “zero-growth” basis. In other words, the civil servants assumed there would be little or no growth in passengers and revenue, so no additional rolling stock or services were planned.

In fact, it seems that the DfT at the time wanted to perpetuate the “managed decline” of the railway. A report was even commissioned to look for possible cost savings, and speculation mounted that lines or stations could be closed. Much to the disappointment, I’m sure, of some DfT mandarins, the report concluded that the franchise was efficiently run, and even closing the famed “limited service” routes like Ellesmere Port to Helsby (four trains a day), Stockport to Staybridge (one train a week) and Chester to Runcorn (eight trains a year) would save almost no money.

Contrary to expectations, passenger numbers have boomed over the past decade, and the service has struggled to cope. Northern has been forced to beg, borrow and steal whatever trains it can find. A load of Sprinter trains were blagged from London Midland, and pressed into service still adorned with Network West Midlands logos. More recently, some electric trains were procured from Thameslink (and this time, at least, overhauled and repainted) for the newly-electrified routes from Liverpool to Manchester and Blackpool Preston.

It’s still very common, however, to find commuters crammed into too-short trains, many of which are essentially the same as those which worked these lines back in the 1980s and 1990s under British Rail. Worst of all are the “Pacers”, Leyland National bus bodies bolted onto a 4-wheeled chassis, which have all the comfort and ambience of a shopping trolley. It’s clear that things needed to change, and the Government franchise documents made it clear that maintaining the status quo was not an option.

We are promised 281 new carriages and new routes connecting destinations were previously a change of train was needed. It remains to be seen whether this will come to pass as advertised. Arriva’s previous form on railway operations is… ahem, varied. It ranges from the good (Chiltern Railways) to the bad (CrossCountry) to the very, very ugly (the original Arriva Trains Northern).

The press release on Wednesday was full of optimism. Is there bad news buried that we have yet to find? Will there be fare increases or staff cuts? Will this be a bold new start for the Northern Powerhouse (ugh) or will we be knocking on Serco’s door, begging for our Pacers back? Time will tell.

21st December 2015

When my friend Andrew suggested a trip to Dublin, I leapt at the chance. I’ve jetted off to Estonia, Norway and Germany, but our neighbouring isle had remained off-limits. It was high time I put that right.

Of course, Andrew had an ulterior motive. He’s a planespotter — sorry… “aviation enthusiast”, so when Aer Lingus launched a new Dublin to Liverpool service on 23 October, he had to be on the first flight. A day in Dublin was an added bonus.

Yes, I’m writing about my trip two months after it actually happened. I’VE BEEN BUSY LEAVE ME ALONE. One side effect is that I’ve forgotten some of the details, so you’ll have to make do with some overall impressions.

30th December 2015

It might have been an omen. On Monday afternoon I tried to log in to put the finishing touches to this post, only to find my blog was inaccessible due to a database snafu at my web hosting provider. The site was restored by this morning, but for 36 hours I was worried that twelve years of blogging had gone down the swanee. (Backups? What are they?)

I started this blog back in March 2003. In that pre-Twitter world, all the cool kids had blogs. I wanted to be a cool kid, so I bought myself some hosting, installed Movable Type (remember that?) and off I went.

Back then, things were rather uncertain for me. I was lonely and rather bitter about the way things were going for me. The one thing I had was my words, and the one outlet for my feelings and opinions was this web site. Through it I found my voice, albeit one that was shaky and unsure at times. I made friends and shared experiences, both good and bad.