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I need a miracle every day

That’s what Jerry Yang said after winning the World Series of Poker and taking down the $8.25 million top prize.

Yeah, that’s some miracle.

Not to say winning the World Series of Poker isn’t impressive, it is – I can play for two hours before I go all-in hoping I’ll leave all-out. But impressive and miraculous are two different things. One is explainable, the other isn’t.

Mr. Yang’s story is not miraculous. He’s a professional psychologist in the U.S. who grew up poor in third-world Laos. Against strong odds, he took advantage of an opportunity, worked hard and has made a comfortable life for himself. Against strong odds, he also won an enormous amount of money gambling. Mr. Yang is thoroughly impressive. He might even be blessed. But if you asked me which of his accomplishments was more miraculous – “an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs” – winning a month-long Texas Hold ‘Em tournament would not be it.

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I’m not sure what this means. Sometimes the Eternal Word Television Network, a Catholic programing channel, is what’s on my television in the morning. Not really a big deal. Except I’m almost certain I fall asleep watching Comedy Central. So, instead of waking up at 5 a.m. to a racy “Girls Gone Wild” info-mercial, it’s the soothing voice of “Mother Angelica.” A message? A miracle? Can’t say. But it’s funny that the difference between smut and saint is just a few channels apart. Such is life. Someone, or something, must be looking out for me.

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Are you having a bad day? Do you also have a boring name? I discovered a way to cheer myself up that may work for you, too. It’s a secret rappers learned long ago – give yourself a really cool-sounding name like “50 Cent,” “Busta Rhymes,” or “Rah Digga.” I came up with a few for myself: “RealEstate” (cuz I buy and sell fools like property), “MC Klean Sheets” (cuz I got no record and my moms makes my bed) and “TP Roll” (cuz I might look soft but I got a hard core).

It’ll obviously take a miracle for me to ever be a successful hip hop artist (we know the reality, don’t ruin the fantasy). But if it were all in the name, I’d be at the top of the charts.