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Dave White

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If you were born anytime before the advent of, say, Crystal Pepsi, then you may remember a time when Schweppes Bitter Lemon was widely available and people actually drank it. Around since 1957, it was never incredibly popular in this country--if y...

Unless you're Elisabeth Hasselbeck--The View's resident Republican published a gluten-free "survival guide" in May--the gluten-free vegan pancake is not something you will want to try at home. Amateurs are less likely to wind up with pancakes than...

There’s a joke about attending the opening of an envelope in all this. But in my defense, it was a sturdy matte-black envelope embossed with Prada’s logo. And it was addressed directly to me — apparently straight from Miuccia her...

I’m protesting against Proposition 8 — after the fact — with thousands of other people because: 1. We lost, and I hate everyone now. Especially you good people who voted for Prop. 8. You’re all jerks. Burn in Hell. 2. Queer...

I like the Bismarck the best. That’s the doughnut with the red-flavored jelly on the inside, powdered sugar on the outside. It’s the messiest, most impolite doughnut you can eat. And that’s the doughnut my friends bought and impa...

We were going to find that stretch of Malibu that David Geffen once tried to declare off limits to the public. I wanted that to be my first beach experience in Los Angeles. But I ended up at El Matador instead, with a dozen gays, my first time at ...