PM Assures Ministers They Can Still Screw The General Public

Following his ban on Ministers having sexual relationships with staffers the Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has moved quickly to assure his Cabinet that they are still able to screw the general public.

“I have full confidence in my Ministers to show discretion and good judgement when they chose to screw the public,” said the Prime Minister. “I mean I know for a fact that Treasurer Scotty Morrison is right now working on a taxation policy that will screw thousands of low income earners. Exciting times.”

When asked whether he had discussed his new Ministerial code of conduct with the deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce, the PM replied: ” Oh you’re serious, no I did not discuss this with Barnaby well he did ask me a few questions about the policy. He wanted to know if a hand job constituted a sexual relationship to which I told him I’d take that on notice.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to meet with Minister Dutton he wants to talk about screwing refugees.”