We get it. We should have more of our life put together. We know “at my age I was working full-time and raising a family already,” mom. And we know “at my age I had ten kids already and a house to take care of,” grandma. But guess what? It’s not the 1900s anymore, so society tells us we don’t need to be doing that right now!

Some things are just out of our control, though. I mean, we can’t help that there are too many people on this planet. We can’t help that since Social Security sucks so much, more old people are staying in the workforce. We can’t help that there are a million college degrees to chose from and no one helps us choose a practical one. We can’t help that money doesn’t grow on trees.

There are seven things that you just really shouldn’t tell (or ask) a 20-something, in general:

1.”You should find a company that offers good benefits to its employees.”

What’s wrong: First, finding ANY job would be a good start. And second, DUH, of course we need benefits; as much as the Airborne commercials claim, it won’t save you from much…like your failing vision or alcoholism.

2. “When do you think you’ll settle down?”

What’s wrong: First, “settling down” requires a place to settle down like a home, which we cannot afford. Second, why is THAT the first thing family asks us? If I knew, I’d have a ring on my finger, now wouldn’t I?

3. “You really shouldn’t drink so much.”

4. “You should start a savings account.”

What’s wrong: One, no, I actually like to play this fun game where I use up all my money to the last penny each month. Two, to open an account you need money…and to get money you need a job…and to get a job you need experience…and to get experience you need a job…

5. “Just apply everywhere! Someone has to be hiring!”

What’s wrong: First, I, along with a million other recent grads are all applying simultaneously. Second, applying everywhere isn’t exactly effective because I can’t afford to live everywhere.

6. “Do you just sit around all day?”

What’s wrong: First, you’re assuming I sit – in fact, I lay down. Second, applying for jobs is a full-time position in itself: checking all the hiring websites each day, reading about the new position, writing a cover letter to match that position, uploading your resume only to find you STILL have to manually input all the info on the application, submitting the application, and then repeating.

7. “This is the time for you to find your passions.”

Although somewhat true, what’s wrong: First, you say that but you also expect us to start working ASAP. Second, you say that but you also tell us to realistically reign in our dreams and hopes.

If anything, just don’t offer us any advice because as millennials, we know everything already and are happily ignoring the truth. Thanks, bai.

Let’s face it, we have major ups and downs in our 20s. A lot of shit happens, both good and bad. Some of it is super ugly, lots of crying and anger. Some of it is great though, with screams and jumps and smiles wider than your face. It’s all part of the game, so we just have to learn how to live it.

Yeah, sure these things can happen to 30-year-olds, too, but we’re selfish as millennials, and it’s all about us, so we go through way more, obviously (insert sassy emoji).

So is this all actually a blessing or a curse?

Let’s take it as a curse, first. Yeah it sucks.

1. We have no money – Literally. We’re actually in the negatives, with college debt and all the online shopping we do, which leads us to yelling at ourselves for being so stupid, and then to feel better we eat a lot and shop online again.

2. Our degree is useless – Very few 20-somethings have a degree that actually gets them a job. So, you know what that means? Back to school! Or settling for the worst job you could think of…retail.

3. Moving is just an emotional nightmare – We have to move from our undergrad oasis, with many of us having to move back home. Or you have to move out of an apartment and have no prospects of where to live next, that’s always fun. But the worst circumstance is when your friends moves away (ugly crying).

4. The job hunt is the absolute worst – We spend at least a year looking for a job, and then, we find one that really sucks but we’re stuck in it. We see the 1 in 100,000 of us millennials find a cool job and sulk for days because we’re obviously not cool enough.

5. We second guess everything – Should I have graduated with that degree? Should I go to graduate school? Is there a job out there for me? Will I ever move out of my parents’ house…again? Will I ever get married? Does it matter if I ever get married? How many cats is too many? Delete social media…bring it back…delete again…bring it back…

BUT, some of the things that happen to us while we’re in our 20s are blessings (maybe in disguise but hopefully are super obvious because we don’t have to patience to figure that ish out).

1. We can still start over – It’s not too late. You can start over at any age, really, even when you’re an old geezer. It’s just easier now, especially if you have the time and the motivation and have nothing tying you down. Change your career path (I did!) or change your relationship or change your underwear…that would be a good start.

2. New people, new friends – If we have to move, or if our friends move away, then we have to take that as an opportunity to meet new people because you never know who might be your new best friend. And they might even help you find a job one day.

3. We can sharpen our skills – Now that we don’t have homework or exams anymore (given you’ve graduated), we have allllll this time to do things we like. And who knows? Maybe it will lead to a job. If you have time, don’t waste it because even if your hobbies aren’t going to rake in the dough for you, at least it’s a stress reliever for you and keeps you mentally busy.

4. We can travel – Since our friends moved away to follow their dreams, we can use that as a reason to travel and visit them! What’s better than traveling to see your best friends? Plus, it could convince your folks to help pitch in. Or just travel period: take a road trip by yourself, fly somewhere new and explore. Go before you start your job and you don’t get vacation time for like two years.

5. Focus on you – Although it may seem like most 20-somethings are married or having kids, many of us are still single. And it’s a perfect opportunity to be totally and completely selfish. Even if you’re in a relationship, try to have “You Days” anyway. It’s important to focus on ourselves because we have a long time left in these bodies and with these minds. If it’s physical, spiritual, or emotional, go out and do something for you. Work on that hot bod since you don’t have the distraction of eating all the time with your SO. It sounds uber cheesy, but go find yourself because you’re mid-30s and 40s and 50s will be much better if you do.

It all depends on how you look at it, but it’s totally fine to be down about being in your 20s. This time in our lives is important, big things happen and some might be pretty ugly. But other things will be total miracles. Chalk up the bad as lessons learned and something checked off the list, and stay sarcastic…I mean hopeful…and everything will be just fine.

Graduation comes and goes, everyone is happy, everything is confetti-filled and sparkly, hugs and gifts come pouring in from family, and loads of pictures are taken. Then, it’s on to the real rat race. We go into the job search pretty optimistically; I mean, we do have a bachelor’s degree that cost us thousands of dollars, right? So, it can’t be that hard. Every employer will want us, young, educated millennial beauts.

The Job Search

Reality: Zero jobs open, nothing requires the skills you possess, and no one wants you as an intern anymore

Job Descriptions

Expectation: All with a Bachelor’s degree in (your field of interest) welcome to apply!

Reality: Master’s degree plus 3 – 5 years of experience required for a janitor position

Jobs Open to Apply

Expectation: “Great hours, all holidays off, pay is competitive, your time is valuable”

Reality: Below entry level, pay is worse than at McDonalds, and your boss is younger than you, so you are wasetfully over-qualified

Interview

Expectation: Friendly employer, who casually converses with you, keeps you at ease the whole time, and asks if you meet specific qualifications

Reality: A couple of mid-level bosses with blank stares make a psychiatric evaluation of you: what are your weaknesses, where do you see yourself in 10 years, what could you bring to a team?

Work Environment

Expectations: Fun and casual fellow millennial coworkers, who are all dressed in the latest Banana Republic styles

Reality: Your coworkers are all super aged, and they just complain about their high-school aged kids and insurance

Week Nights

Expectations: Going out with your coworkers and trying out a different fun bar every Thursday

Reality: Drive home half asleep at 6:00pm and pop your dinner in the microwave

Weekends

Expectations: Plenty of time for fun and adventures now that you don’t have schoolwork piled up like in undergrad (everyone remembers those cram-filled Sunday afternoons that involved studying and writing papers simultaneously)

Reality: Sleep….because it’s free, and you can’t afford to go on any adventures

The Actual Work

Expectations: Fun, creative projects that will change the company and propel you upward to promotion after promotion

The idea of our “best friend” has evolved as awkwardly as we have since childhood: there are many phases of best friends and many types of BFFs. Some stay with us since childhood and others we are lucky enough to pick up along the way.

We have gone from the best friend, who we played make-believe games with as toddlers.

To the BBFLs in elementary school, who we tried new sports with and pretended we were “big kids.”

To the best friends in middle school, who we mutually helped get through the inexplicable awkwardness of 6th-8th grade.

To the best friends in high school, who we acted like pure fools with and thought we could handle a lot more than we actually could.

To the sistas (or bros) in college, who we cried in front of, who knew our secrets, who tested our limits, and who struggled hard with us.

To the current besties in our post-grad life. They are a special kind of best friend. There are different life experiences to explore, different stories to tell, different problems to tackle.

Here are the types of best-friend-moments you will have in your post grad, adult-like life:

1. “Going Out” means going out the door (only slightly) to get the pizza delivery

2. “Girls Nights” are more like laying on the couch (or floor) and just complaining

3. “Shopping Days” are when you run into each other at the grocery store and can both only afford a maximum of 6 items