First of all, I am really sorry you are going through this and the people you should be able to turn to (family) are being this way. It sounds like your mother is a toxic person and you would do well to put some very serious boundaries in place whenever future interactions occur. Also, I would no longer share ANY sensitive information with her regarding TTC as it just arms her with very hurtful barbs.

I do think it incredibly telling that these adults don't think anything of being under the influence while caring for your child. I also think it shows very poor judgement (on their behalf) to expose him to the type of people that illegal drugs tend to attract. You are the mother and therefore whatever ground rules you have in place need to be respected. Period.

I had to cut my mother out of my life for a few years and I still tightly control any interaction we have. She is very emotionally manipulative as well as a compulsive liar so I had to stop thinking of her as my mother and more of a person who had to be "handled." Now that I put this boundary in place it has protected my heart from her actions. If your mother wants to see her grandson then she needs to treat you with respect and also obey the rules you raise your son by.