It may seem that while I'm slapping national news on the page, I suddenly have a hankering for a sloppy gangbang. But I'm really researching a question I received for my NSFW column, as I slouch in my ergonomic chair, hoping reporters walking behind me don't see what's populating the results page.

I, personally, am not interested in donning an adult diaper and soiling myself while I erotically dance for my partner. But I see your confusion.

You may think I'm swinger...

You may think I subscribe to Furry of the Month Club...

You may think I have glory holes dotting my abode....

You may think I take golden showers...

To answer your question: In my spare time, I like to party.

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Dear Christy,

On Tuesday (today) People's "Sexiest Man Alive" will be revealed. Do you have any guesses as to who it will be? Or do you care? Minds are curious.

—Loving Our Sexy Men

Delicious dudes:

I don't really care, but I like to talk, so I'll humor you.

This year is People's 30th year of the Sexiest Man Alive contest. What a milestones, pals. The very first was Mel Gibson in 1985. Then he ate a Catholic racist.

The magazine was always the source and brunt of my fodder the years as I penned my "Hollywood Headaches" column. But since I've spit out a spawn and feigned adult (society, man), I've been more into reading shampoo bottles on the toilet.

But I did once care. So I know you're not alone.

tangent

My mom-in-law has received every single People magazine in the mail since the first issue, March 4, 1974, which featured actress Mia Farrow. Thanks for making print media go, Mom2, and thanks for supporting my profession. Damn impressive.

Go hug a Colorado Daily, friends.

/tangent

And now to answer your question: It should be Husband, but maybe next year. (Get a room.)

If I were editor, I'd slap Madonna's arms on the cover as Sexiest Man Alive.

Oh. A dude. Jared Leto?

Right. A dude. I don't know, five bucks says People taps Matt Damon again. You know, "Martian" and family values and all.

If I'm right, you owe me $5. If I'm wrong, let's just get back to googling dirty starfishes and deadbeat dongs.

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The Boulder alt-country band gives its EPs names such as Death and Resurrection, and its songs bear the mark of hard truths and sin. But the punk energy behind the playing, and the sense that it's all in good fun, make it OK to dance to a song like "Death." Full Story