Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters

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Some minor characters make a very brief appearance in Teen Girl Squad, often hurting one of the girls. Usually they are never seen again, but in the 10th Issue special, many of these characters made cameo appearances at The Ugly One's Sweet Someteen Birthday Bash, and in issue 15, several made appearances at the "Priggidy Prizom".

This helicopter attacked some birds with a machine gun. Surprisingly, this aircraft was the first object to be seen harming living creatures in the entire series, yet its victims did not include one of the girls.

The dinosaur punted What's Her Face across the cartoon. Just after this, she was heard to remark, "Dag, yo." She is presumed to have died upon landing. In the Tenthennial Extravaganza, it was revealed to have bloody teeth.

This boy goes out with So and So, which causes her friends to get jealous. When So and So mentions that she's totally crushing, the boy gets hit by a delivery truck (driven by Arrow'd Guy) marked "CHILDREN". He appears again, silhouetted, in an Easter egg in the email death metal.

This person is found at the thrift store that What's Her Face shopped at, where she stays behind a rack of shirts, holding a sign that reads, "1 or 2 cent each item." In the Teen Girl Squad Issue 3 DVD commentary, Strong Bad says that she is a "homeless woman."

A wave of possums, announced by a menacingly voiced "Poooosssssummmmms...!" attacked What's Her Face as she walked home from the thrift store. They got her dirty and tore her clothing, but didn't kill her. When she met up with the other girls, one possum was seen still attacking her. The possum attack apparently made What's Her Face's blood hurt.

Brett is an imaginary person whom So And So made up in first grade. He is mentioned in Teen Girl Squad Issues 4 and 10. Ignoring her friends' denial of Brett's reality, So And So interacts with "Brett" as if she could actually see and hear him. This causes the other girls to be weirded out. Brett and So And So were going to study together when their plans were ended abruptly when So and So fell in the Fighting Growlbacks Bottomless Spirit Pit.

So And So is in love with Brett, and when she thinks of him hearts appear over her head. One of them grew a face just as it was pierced with an arrow.

In the tenth episode, So And So states that she and Brett Bretterson are "Splitsville".

The Giant Brain Mech is a giant brain with lips and an eye patch. It is apparently mechanical, because Arrow'd Guy can be seen controlling the brain under a glass dome. The brain CEREBELLUM'D! Cheerleader when Quarterman suggested that she should go get some brains.

The fat bird is first seen in Issue 5, perched on the "meanwhile, ON VACATION" sign in the transition scene. Later in the cartoon, when The Ugly One gets nervous and sticks her head in the sand, the fat bird flies down and perches on her side. The bird doesn't seem to do anything after that. It just sits there with its tongue hanging out for the rest of the cartoon.

The olda boys are college boys that were at the vacation beach with Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One. One misses video games, but the other misses his mom. They combine their sayings in a way that synchronizes with the background music in an Easter egg. The spiky-haired one earned a Quote of the Week.

These are the "cool or famous" people who look at the nervous The Ugly One and then parasail with So and So. In the Tenthennial Extravaganza, Henry Rollins was revealed to be an odd red color, a reference to the music video for "Liar" (from the album Weight--Henry Rollins Band, Imago Records 1994).

This lion, who seems to be missing a leg, appears in Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One all dive into its mouth in pursuit of Decemberween presents, but What's Her Face declines on the grounds that she is vegan. For some reason the inside of the lion looks like the inside of a whale.

This happy fellow is a judge in the Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. He and the other two judges (who are both Arrow'd Guy) TWO'D The Ugly One for her cannonball into the Gift Exchange Lion's mouth. He rates Cheerleader's dive into the lion's mouth a "nose" along with the other judges. Noticeable is the fact that he can move his arms along his skinny body. His "shoulder" is not visible until he lifts up the sign. Little else is known about this person, or what the value of a "nose" is in competitive Lion's mouth jumping.

These babies are in a giant wave that crashed into What's Her Face. They are seen caving onto What's Her Face, but the actual crash is not shown. It is possible that the wave just swept past without stopping. This is further supported by the fact that after the crash, only two babies are visible clinging onto What's Her Face, while all the others are gone.

This half-digested animal is presented by The Ugly One at the very end of Decemberween Teen Girl Squad to Cheerleader, to her dismay. All of the other girls seem to be pleased at the sight of the dead animal, despite the negative aspects of decomposing carcasses.

He's a fat man who wears a singlet similar to Strong Mad's. He fell down a slide and squished Teeny Tiny Cheerleader while she was throwing a tantrum. He bears a resemblance to pro wrestler King Kong Bundy and performs the Bundy Splash, one of his signature moves.

This is the bell seen in Issue 7 in the Teeny Tiny Girl Squad's preschool. His role is similar to that of the Intercom, but specific relationship details are unknown. He bears the same name as actor and comedian Bill Bellamy.

The intercom is a feature of the Teen Girl Squad's school. As it is hanging up high in the girls' classroom, it is responsible for announcing things like the school lunch and commands. Later in the cartoon, the Intercom is seen mounted on a robot body, hosting the Battle of the Bands. It introduced the bands "Fatty's Big Chance" and the Teen Girl Squad "Kissyboots." In the Tenthennial Extravaganza, it appeared on its stand nursing a martini.

When The Ugly One does her 16-hour drum solo, she was interrupted by an evil floor tom when it FLOOR TOMMED her by biting her top half off. This was just one of three events that stopped her drum solo, as she was also STEP-MOMMED and POM-POMMED.

Mrs. So-and-so-erson is So and So's step-mom. She resembles Arrow'd Guy in lipstick and a jogging suit; it's debatable whether she is in fact the same person. As Cheerleader states, she has questionable taste, which is agreed upon by What's Her Face after observing the many jogging suits in her walk-in closet. She "STEP-MOMMED" The Ugly One by pouring ranch dressing on her during her 16-hour drum solo. When she talks, her speech balloon has three tails, with only one coming from her mouth. Supposedly, her name is Judith, as seen in Issue 11.

Fatty is the sole member of the one-man saxophone band, "Fatty's Big Chance." He played before Kissyboots in the Battle of The Bands. With his two tone suit and rousing chant of "pick it up, pick it up," Fatty is a ska machine.

The goblins enter So and So's dressing room while So and So is preparing for the Battle of the Bands. In their native tongue, they ask her for her autograph. Apparently So and So can understand them, and is happy to oblige. But before she could sign, she was TWELVE-SIDED DIED!, inexplicably by a 20-sided die. One of the goblins appears again, silhouetted, in an Easter egg in the email death metal.

At the Battle of the Bands, What's Her Face's bass guitar suddenly transforms into a shark, causing her to comment "My bass feels seaworthy". The shark then bites off the upper half of her body. "Ahhh! My most of me!" she laments.

Amazingly, the shark can also play a mean bass even without fingers. Cheerleader keeps him on to play backup and the remaining member(s) of Kissyboots finish the performance respectably. Alas, after the song ends, the shark can be heard snacking on Cheerleader.

When Mr. Pitters tries to join the Teen Girl Squad, these fiendish birds tell him that he "ain't no Teen Girl" before eating him at a fancy dinner. According to the second vulture, Mr. Pitters tastes "quite good, quite good." They may be an evolution of the vulture from Issue 2.

Port-O-John is a portable outhouse that came to life by growing eyes, a nose, a mustache, a mouth, hands and feet. A sign on his side reads "Johnny Rite There". It put on a play with So and So once Cheerleader died in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. It didn't get very good reviews, however, and he is injured--perhaps killed--by Arrow'd Guy when a spear enters his frontside after penetrating So and So.

A tiny samurai armed with a naginata who bursts twice from corn-based products: "corn and corn alone" and corn chips. Both times he does so because they are "no place for a mighty warrior." After emerging from the corn chips, he lathe'd a spinning What's Her Face in two with his naginata. He also appeared in an Easter egg for myths & legends, fighting the corn army.

This "uppaclass" trio of burly, bearded, kilted Scots were drinking a frothy brew from a keg marked "XXX" when they were interrupted by Cheerleader's flirtation. Predictably, she was rejected and caber-tossed only 23 metres away for her efforts.

The Shirt Folding Store Manager is So and So's manager at Shirt Folding Store. She is rude and aggressive to So and So, calls her "Mark" and tells her to "get to minimum wagin'". The manager is the only character in episode 11 not drawn in black and white. Her hair and face are constructed from a magazine photo of Mary-Kate Olsen. Her right arm is also drawn much longer than her left and her hands are drawn crudely. She is injured and/or killed by an Astronaut.

The astronaut suddenly appears in Shirt Folding Store and punches out the manager, his justification being that she killed his dog. His voice is distorted by the loudspeaker system built into his suit, and he starts each sentence with "Ckhk" as he turns it on. He has a cape and can fly.

Raccoon Girl is What's Her Face's bunkmate at the camp. She is weak and emaciated, feels unloved, and needs heavy medication, lest she "go into a coma".
The overall concept of a "raccoon girl" may be derived from the fact that girls wearing heavy black eyeliner may be seen as "raccoon-like".

A customer at Shirt Folding Store. He needs a present for his wife for their anniversary, and is so fat that multiple rolls of fat hang over each other. He coughs so much that So and So thinks that the present is for his coughiversary. Eventually he coughs up a baseball stadium complete with spectators and announcer just as a double play occurs. He feels it is necessary to point out that this is not his wife.

Camp Counselor Shortshorts is trying really hard not to be thought of as a square by What's Her Face and The Ugly One by using random "youthful" quotes. He only succeeds in winning over the girls by singing a song with them. He then meets his end at the hands of a Maniac in a Speedo. He appears to be based loosely off of Richard Simmons.

The Chumbly Wumbly Bear is the subject of the song that the girls sing with the counselor. According to the song, he "came a tumblin' down", but sold neither beans nor eggs - he couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't. Instead, he "stapled it down". He also wears a necktie like Yogi Bear.

Maniac in a Speedo comes in at the end of the "Chumbly Wumbly Bear" song. As seen, he wears a paper bag to hide his face and uses a chainsaw to do his bidding. He cut The Ugly One and What's Her Face in half and did a number on Camp Counselor Shortshorts as well.

C-dogg and Naptime share a prison cell with So and So. It's not clear which inmate is which. Rubble D is apparently also in that cell or in a nearby one, but he isn't seen or heard.
One of them is in a straitjacket, and has chicken feet. The other is a bulky, roundish man.

Patchbeard is Cheerleader's first romantic interest on Valentimes Day and is the first one to give Cheerleader a card. Cheerleader also refers to him as Peter Puberty. After receiving the card, Cheerleader knocks him out with a blackjack.

These are the two boys from whom What's Her Face attempts to acquire a Valentine's Day card. They enjoy talking about band names; What's Her Face observes this and tells them she likes music, as well as cloth. One of the boys is surprised that she likes cloth, but the other thinks "she likes cloth" is a good band name. In an Easter egg, a CD cover with the name "she likes cloth" is shown, along with the top of the Band Name Boys' heads.

Mrs. Embalmo is the one lunchlady who did not give The Ugly One a card for Valentine's Day. She sports a hairnet and may have spiders living in her head, as evidenced by the spiderweb between her skull and the lunch-display glass.

The Tines Racer is a fork-shaped character who drives a "Tines Racing" car, named after the points on his head. He has a handlebar mustache and wears a scarf. He drives over So and So when she gets angry at the other girls' mispronunciation of "Valentine's".

Class Prez has a "technological romance" with Cheerleader by text messaging her from a few feet away, but is dismayed when she tells him he is "less than B". His phone model, "CRKR" (short for "Cracker"), is a play on the Motorola cellular phone KRZR. The name itself is also a play on the recent naming of cell phones after foods like the LG Chocolate and the BlackBerry. This could also explain why the phone has a bite taken out of it. He is skewered by the USB Dongle Goblin. There are unknown reasons why one of his eyes is closed.

The Wireless Wizard dislikes people misusing wireless technology, such as sending text messages from a few feet away or making unidentifiable emoticons. He appears to be attracted to What's Her Face. As he is a wizard who specializes in technology, both Science Fiction Greg and D n' D Greg respect him, even as an adversary.

The USB Dongle Goblin is a creature with a pointed nose and USB plug shaped body that arrives to skewer Cheerleader and Class Prez after Wireless Wizard mentions him. His shape is based on the emoticon Cheerleader used in her text message to Class Prez: >KO)->

Momkins, also called Mrs. Tompkinsrobotmomerson by So and So, is Tompkins's mother. She is a robot dressed like a prospector with a deep masculine southern accent and stubble on her face. She apparently goes out prospecting to find a future ex-husband. Her character is likely a play on the term "Gold Digger", which refers to a woman who would marry for money, then divorce. On @StrongBadActual, Strong Bad says that her first ex-husband may have been a robot detective named Tech.

The Buttcrack Plumber works for a company called Buttcrack Plumbing. Cheerleader calls him Randy, but it's questionable that the two were having the same conversation. However, in the DVD commentary for Issue 13, The Brothers Chaps call him "Randy Buttcrack", meaning this could indeed be his name. Assuming that Cheerleader meant to call him, he's on Cheerleader's "B-list" of boys. He has a plunger-shaped phone (or uses a plunger as a phone).

The police officers arrive at Tompkins's house to watch the Pay-per-view show ("Camptown, Jr. [vs.] Ola Toya at Caesars...") that The Ugly One ordered. So and So overreacts to their presence, and throws herself down the garbage disposal, but What's Her Face invites them in. They resemble police officers Eddie and Lou from The Simpsons. One of them seems to be attracted to Momkins.

Actually So and So in a mech suit she wears to complete tests. Its components include a number 2 pencil, scratch paper, a healthy breakfast and comfortable clothes. Its special power is "Dixon Ticonderoga Lazer Blade Attack". So and So wore this costume in preparation for her final exam, which she believes to be a standardized test. However, it turns out to be a "ditto", which exploits her weakness of the "Hyper Turbo FillintheBlank Barrage". The Strong Badman cover's declaration that this is "The CROSSOVER no one was asking for!" indicates that Scantron comes from a different comic book, most likely Teen Girl Squad itself.

The "Revenge of the Cross Country Booster Club Bakesale" lives in What's Her Face's locker and eats her when she attempts to clean said locker out. It claims that What's Her Face "tastes like 9 minute miles".

Three senior boys who like pulling "senior pranks", which seem to consist entirely of mistreating The Ugly One. They vote her the most prettiest, ask if she wants to be the girlfriend of one of them, and pretend to offer her a ring. Quarterman dumps trash cans all over them.

Cheerleader Brian is Cheerleader's date to the prom. The other girls do not approve with her choice. Even when at the prom, he still tries to act like a cheerleader and annoys Cheerleader by waving his arms about and repeatedly referring to "prom spirit". He throws her up near a disco ball, which reflects a beam of light powerful enough to disintegrate her upper body.

The gutted sheep appears when Manolios Ugly One threatens to gut D n' D Greg "like sheep". He assures D N'D Greg that being gutted isn't so bad, but when Manolios makes good on his threat, D n' D Greg accuses him of lying.

Regular Greg has no special traits, but acts as the Growlbacks mascot at football games. He also attends AP Calculus class with D N'D Greg. He is dirty in appearance, much like the costume he wears. This may be because when D N'D Greg mistook Regular Greg for a "level 4 shambling Krenshar" attacking a "slightly attractive, slightly overweight, color guard maiden", he tackled him and began to stomp on his chest.

The Color Guard Maiden, who is described as being slightly attractive and slightly overweight, stood next to the Growlbacks Mascot at the football game. Dn'D Greg believed she was in danger, which led to him beating up Regular Greg while she looked on in satisfaction. She can be seen dancing at the Priggidy Prizom with Tompkins.

Meredith appeared in love poems as an example of "Meredithian" poetic style, where every word she spoke ended in "th." Cheerleader cannot stand the way she talks. She was killed by a spear thrown by Arrow'd Guy.

Kimberly appeared in love poems as an example of "Kimberlian" poetic style. She talks by saying -erly on the end of nearly every word. She has fangs. She was killed, along with Meredith, by a spear thrown by Arrow'd Guy.