Arrr! See CONTENTS for links to the 125 chapters of The Monstaville Memoirs plus introductions, conclusions, postscripts and appendices. This treasure trove also includes a collection of articles offering further insights into the themes explored in the trilogy. Namely, managing suffering and conflict (dealing with hostile people if you are nervous, sensitive or shy) and learning not to react

Monday, 31 March 2014

- Iggy Pop (on why he titled a song
‘Look Away,’ the last song on ‘Naughty Little Doggie;’ Gimme Danger: The Story of Iggy Pop by Joe Ambrose, Omnibus Press, London,
U.K., 2002, p.264).

“The light is a mighty and
invincible power that is far greater than any force human beings ever created.
Therefore, no matter what danger you find yourself in, that power can liberate
you from it.” - Archangel Michael (in a book on angels).

Buddha, of course, shone spiritual
light at the person who was having a go at him. It is powerfully negating and
transforming, making up for and also overwhelming the other person’s dark
energy so it becomes exhausted and all that remains is the light. Consequently,
the other person enters the light or leaves.

“Where there are people there are
flies, and also there are Buddhas.” - Issa.

20 September 2003.

Have this gentle, peaceful feeling
from tai chi today (during and after) and the same last night during the class.
Since I learned a few refinements to my form, I have practised more slowly,
especially today. The effect is this sweetness. And, today, I figured, the
essence of the assault and intimidation from Pigsy Monster is that I am a nervous
person and should not expect myself to be able to defend myself physically. I
shouldn’t even consider it. The essence is that I am a nervous, shy dreamer
with a reflective disposition. My wandering attention has a tendency to focus
inwardly rather than outside of myself (which is a struggle until I have
practised tai chi) living with a violent, alcoholic nutter upstairs. I am
becoming a light and darkness finds a way to test and pressure me through such
volatile, ignorant brutes. That’s how you become brighter, by illuminating the
darkness. Where you resist darkness is the area in which your light is weak and
needs to grow in strength. It can only achieve that in the dark soil where it
can put down fresh roots and rise above the ground. It has to push down before
it can ascend.

Caine (David Carradine): Master, I am
troubled. We learn to make powerful the force of our bodies, yet we are taught
to reverence all against who we may use such force.

Master
Kan (Philip Ahn): When your life is
threatened, or the innocent life of another, you will be prepared to defend them.

Caine: Being best prepared, better than
others, should I not always stand and fight?

Master
Kan: Ignore the insulting tongue; duck
the provoking blow; run from the assault of the strong.

Caine: Are these not the actions of a
coward?

Master
Kan: The wild boar runs from the tiger,
knowing that each being well armed by nature with deadly strength may kill the
other. Running, he saves his own life and that of the tiger. This is not
cowardice, it is the love of life.

-
Kung Fu (Season 1, Episode 11, ‘The
Praying Mantis Kills,’ 1973).

The dastardly crime is that Pigsy,
knowing that I practice tai chi to relax my nervous system because I am a
nervous person, is deliberately bullying someone he is sure cannot fight back,
which was always the case. I could write and tell his mother all about it! [A
package arrived for him one day and his mother’s return address was included on
the back]. So, he is no big shot. In fact, he’s just a creepy coward.

Bullies have to have some power to
use that gives them an advantage. They rely on alcohol, brute force, ignorance,
extreme violence and threats thereto. Yet, ‘we’ can use the power of will, mind
and spirit to defeat them. We can increase our awareness in order to stay safe.
Avoid dangerous places, look alert and confident, be observant and have your
wits about you.

“The crafty rabbit has three
different entrances to its lair.” Also translated, “The cunning rabbit has
three bolt-holes.” - Feng Xuan, Warring States Period (The Little Book of Chinese Proverbs. Compiled by Jonathan Clements,
p.125).

1. Find out if there is anything you
can do (internally and/or externally) to minimise your own suffering; i.e. the
three rabbit holes stratagem. One Daoist practise is as follows: don’t be
there! When the attack arrives, I’m not there because I have anticipated it and
got out of the way quickly. I have moved into a different space. We can
accomplish this mentally, not just physically.

2. If someone is not respecting you
or your space, why should you respect theirs? You don’t need to do anything
except stop being so responsible and considerate towards them. For example, I
always took my shoes off when I got home because the floor is wooden and noisy.
At the moment I can’t be bothered. I prefer to wait a while before taking them
off and I may have to go to the fridge or kitchen a few times and cause an
annoyance to them. Tough! (Although, if you have thin walls and two neighbours,
above and next door, one of whom you do not wish to upset, you need to tread
carefully!).

I have learned to ignore someone’s
deliberate attempts to disturb me using aggravating noises. I don’t allow
myself to react in thought because they may sense the effect psychically and
think they’re on to something. I remain invisible to them. They are unable to
sense where I am or where my head is at. I don’t give them a chance to sense
weaknesses whether real or imagined. If they make such noises I become quieter
both physically and even in thought. If they persist and I find myself giving
them any attention whatsoever then I usually go and do something in another
part of the flat, or go out into the garden to practice tai chi. The same
applies to negative words intended to press my buttons and play on any
insecurities. I respond in the opposite way to which they want. It is using a
naturally rebellious instinct.

Charles
Morse (Anthony
Hopkins): “”Why is the rabbit unafraid?”

Styles (L.Q. Jones): “Because he’s smarter
than the panther.”

- The Edge (directed by Lee Tamahori, 1997. This is a great film
about courage, survival and personal transformation, about facing our fears
(the bear that must be slain) and about having the wisdom and fortitude to show
compassion for those who seek to harm you).

Monday,
February 26, 2007.
Why the Smoking Rabbit...

“For any of you who have seen The Edge with Anthony Hopkins and
remember the scene with the oar, you already know. For those who haven't or
don't remember, the oar had the Cree Indian symbolism of the predatory panther
on one side and on the other of a pipe-smoking rabbit. And why is the rabbit
smoking a pipe? He is unafraid because he knows he is smarter than the panther.

During
the course of the movie, we see how the rabbit (Anthony Hopkins) is smarter. He
reads and is curious about what he sees...Nothing needs to relate to anything
at the moment - that will come together as time rolls along. He reads what he
needs to know to prepare himself for any possible changes that may be coming
about. He reads to know what he needs to do to provide food, shelter, clothing,
trust, integrity, leadership, compassion for all those around not just
himself... and to be humble about it all. He seeks to bring out the best of
everyone - even when one of them threatens his own life...

p.111. When Confucius went to Shang
and Chou, people made trouble for him. And now, at Ch’en and Ts’ai people have
surrounded him: ‘Anyone who kills him will be pardoned; anyone who takes him
prisoner will not be interfered with. Yet he keeps on playing and singing.’

(Confucius
went without properly cooked food for a week and his face grew thin from
fatigue).

Tzu-Lu
told Confucius, ‘I guess you could say that we are all blocked now because the
local people have barricaded us in here.’

Confucius
said, ‘What are you saying! When a person breaks through to Tao, it is called
‘breaking through.’ When he is blocked from Tao, it is called ‘being blocked.’

‘I choose the ways of benevolence
and righteousness; unfortunately, we are in the midst of trouble because of the
disorder and confusion in the world. But we do not need to find ourselves
‘blocked’ because of that.

By
cultivation of the inner being, Tao is attained; with Tao, when danger comes
there is no loss of virtue. It is the coldness of the frost and the snow of
winter which reveal the luxuriance of the pine and fir trees. I regard it as a
blessing to be in this situation.’ Then he went back to his playing and
singing.

The
ancients who attained Tao were equally happy in times of success and failure,
because their happiness had nothing to do with good or bad fortune.

Thus, it should be the same with me.
Pigsy and my job are temporary obstructions to my relationship with the world,
to my external freedom. But that should not hamper my inner freedom or block my
relationship to my own Self, to the Tao. Externally, I am enduring these forms
of incarceration both at home and out in the world. But, internally, I should
continue through this winter to express my joy and enjoy my creativity. I
should continue to do the things that inspire me, including writing my book.
The bitter cold snow of harsh external influences brings out the beauty of the
pines of my unchanging spirit, my eternal Self. It demonstrates that my spirit
survives the cold winter without it being affected by external forces. The
pines and firs of my Being show no signs of withering or faltering under the
snow of external strife. They are strong and enduring. My spirit is
indestructible and, by ignoring the external assaults and enjoying my inner
strife, no harm comes to me. I simply struggle a bit externally and compensate
by expressing my creative nature and applying my attention to the joy of my
spirit. I shelter myself from those who wish me harm and by not paying them
heed, not fearing, resenting or reacting to them, they never reach me. I remain
where I am, simply celebrating the spirit within me.

The truth is that those people -
Pigsy, the other neighbours and people at work - all rely on weakening my
spirit. They wish to crush and destroy me but cannot achieve that unless they
can break me down. Actually, what happens is that they apply some pressure with
negativity and observe my response. If they get a reaction - even in thought,
even if they can get my attention - then they can take things a step further.
They cannot afford to act too forcefully all at once without provocation, for
then they will look bad and it will be known that they are destructive. They
rely on me reacting so that they can point the finger at me and declare that I
am the demonic one! They try to push my buttons. If they can drive me mad, they
might get me to act stupidly and aggressively, and then they can pounce on me
and feel self-righteous about it, justified in attacking me to protect
themselves.

“Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.” -
Michael Pritchard.

They only need a slight reaction to
feel threatened and justified in attacking me. And, as Pigsy has shown, they
can simply make it up! If button-pressing doesn’t work, they can accuse me of
something - anything - and see if I will react to that threat, that threat of
violence in retaliation for something I’m accused of which they’ve simply made
up! They can’t bear to have me around as I remind them of the Light and of
their own spiritual immaturity. Rather than celebrate the spirit they sense in
me and take an interest in their own spiritual development, they fear it
because they fear the struggle of their own growth through discipline and
suffering to self-mastery. When you do not react to their fear and petty
provocations, you demonstrate the power and beauty of love, of the gentle,
impersonal warmth of the spirit, which is one’s perfect Nature.

“And
on my cigarettes there would be a picture of a spider. And I always used to
identify with a spider...You know, you know real when you see real. That’s the
part of me that they hate. Because they don’t like me when they see the real,
because they don’t like the real to be seen. Because most people like to hide
the real, because the real is always what gets hurt. The real is what we don’t
understand. The real is, you know, the real is what we push under the baby. You
know, we put it over by the baby and leave it, you know. The real is difficult.
The real is, it says this: ‘Surrender! Give it up! Every bit of it! I want it
all!’” - Charles Manson (Dr. Michal Ben Horin interview, 1992).

The only way to deal with such
people is to be quiet, patient and gentle externally and to shine the light of
the spirit to them from within. That way, their temporal negative energy
exhausts itself and peters out. If you don’t feed it, it never gathers into a
truly destructive force. It’s just weak and harmless. Accept and ignore the
weak and harmless levels of negative energy so you can ensure that the strong
and powerful creative spirit within you remains a force to be reckoned with. If
you react, and feed the negativity in others, your own strength of spiritual
light is diminished and their negative power increases because you have fed it.

F.E.A.R.

I
agree with Tarrie B (of My Ruin) that love and fear are a strong polarity.

“We’re
either coming from love or were coming from fear. My observation is that most
people, most of the time, and myself more than I would like to acknowledge, are
coming from fear.” – Neale Donald Walsch (discussing ‘The Emotion of Fear,’
from a YouTube video posted by themanifestation, 28 August 2007).

“Every
time I think that my joy is obtainable, or that I’m sourced with my joy, that
my joy comes from some place outside of myself, I get into fear.” – Neale
Donald Walsch (discussing ‘The Emotion of Fear,’ from a YouTube video posted by
themanifestation, 28 August 2007).

“Someone
once said to me that there’s a great acronym for fear: ‘Feeling Excited And
Ready.’ I love that. I had a great teacher say to me one time years ago, ‘Call
your fears ‘adventure.’ What a great thought…whatever you’re afraid of right
now, realise a couple of things: 1. It’s not real. You’re making it all up. 2.
If the thing you’re afraid would happen actually did happen you and I would
still be here tomorrow. It really would make no difference at all. 3. If you
can call your fear’s adventure, you’ll bring in an energy that will heal the
fear – the energy of excitement, the energy of being inspired by life itself.
Because life, you see, is a process that informs life about life through the
process of life itself. If you live. Your life filled with inspiration and
excitement, soon there’s nothing to be afraid of and it becomes the great joy
it was always intended to be. That’s how I see it. That’s what my conversations
with God told me about fear. I could be wrong of course about all of this…but I
don’t think so.” – Neale Donald Walsch (discussing ‘The Emotion of Fear,’ from
a YouTube video posted by themanifestation, 28 August 2007).

“So, fear of the unknown is impossible. And, really
what fear is, is fear is letting go of the known, letting go of your comfort
zone [the repeated thoughts]. Because, the truth of the matter is,
repeatlessness every moment is fresh and new. Now, the acronym I use for fear -
it used to be False Evidence Appearing Real, that’s what people use. That’s not
true. It’s Fantasised Events Appearing Real.” - Joe Marshalla PhD (‘The Mechanics of Mind Control,’ a lecture recorded
live at Brave New Books, Austin Texas, 9 October 2008. Source: Google Video).

“Drop the
fear. The fear was taken up by you in your childhood, unconsciously. Now
consciously drop it and be mature. Then the life can be a light which goes on
deepening as you go on growing.” – Osho.

Sunday, 30 March 2014

“Still, it is hard for a pure and
thoughtful man to live in a state of rapture at the spectacle afforded to him
by his fellow-creatures; above all it is hard, when such a man is placed as
Marcus Aurelius was placed, and has had the meanness and perversity of his
fellow-creatures thrust, in no common measure, upon his notice - has had time
after time, to experience how ‘within ten days thou wilt seem like a god to
those whom thou art now a beast and an ape.’”

Pigsy can be compared to a volatile
child running wild, a social leper (you have to keep away from) and a
psycho-monster! There is little good there (this isn’t ‘Mr. Benn brings out the
saint in hard man Smasher’!). That’s why he’s close to his mother: she reminds
him of being loved for who is, his faults overlooked perhaps, as it was in the
beginning, in childhood. So he can deny his faults. She loves him as she did
when he was a child, so it frees him of his alcoholism and the monster he has
become. He probably separates the two for his own convenience, shows only a
good side, albeit a lie, to his mother and uses that persona in his job and
when he needs people to trust him. It helps him to get by. Perhaps he just
always ends up on his own and needs her because she is always there for him.

He is trying to engage, to interact
with me, to get my attention because he wants to compete and demonstrate his
power, like a child. An adult would pay little attention to a child doing this
because the child is small and can do no real damage. You can observe and guide
it, tell it off, tell it to stop, remove its toys. If it had a gun though it
would be a different story. It is hard to reason with a child but it is not as
conscious as you so you can display power and it may back down, concede without
knowing why, just that the natural order of things is for adults to have more
power and authority. The child doesn’t want to get into trouble. It won’t use
the gun. Yet, it enjoys the power, if you believe it has power. But, also, it
could get carried away, intoxicated by glory and power and lose self-control.
And, BANG! It would regret the action but it would be too late. Pigsy is like a
child with a dangerous adult body as a weapon and also alcohol and knives,
bottles, etc. He can also cause physical damage and he is like a child with a
gun. If you don’t call his bluff, catch him out, he will use the threat to control you and run riot as
his childish, undisciplined nature wants. He lacks discipline like a child and
is disciplined only when he feels fear and when boundaries are clearly
presented to him. Then he’s just a baby.

So, what of a spiritual child? Is
that a threat to a spiritual adult? A monster and an angel together. The
monster attacks and the angel does nothing. The monster destroys all that is
material and physical. The angel doesn’t care. Alas, I am no angel! No saint
even. I need to hang on to my physical life and possessions, to protect my
work, etc. I am in a physical body and therefore vulnerable, and my mind is
vulnerable too through my body and senses, but not psychically. That is where
my strength lies. Pigsy makes noises to remind me he’s there and is a threat
and that I should fear him (so he can impress his girlfriend by showing what
power he has).

"I heard an Angel singing
when the day was springing,
‘Mercy, Pity, Peace
Is the world's release.’
- William Blake.

19 September 2003. 00.54 a.m.

After Pigsy coughing loudly when he
arrived home with his girlfriend (imitating my cough as he does regularly!) and
the girls next door laughing loudly so late, I concluded: I will HAVE to move.
I will have to discard my possessions, live without a garden, leave London perhaps and stop
writing my books (no space) etc.

The fact that Pigsy hasn’t moved out
shows that he is a bully. He’s looking for a reason to lose his temper because
he enjoys the release of his pent up anger, his inner fury. It gives him and
his girlfriend a thrill. So he winds me up to try and get a reaction so I am
humiliated. But I don’t play ball. I’m no fun!

‘Oh, I have an alcohol problem,’
etc. Domestic violence: men want to take their crap out on someone else,
someone who is unable to defend themselves. Then they go all innocent and soft
to persuade the other person of their genuine remorse and innocence, etc. they
then forget it all. It goes out the window. The monster tries to justify his
behaviour by ignoring his own failings and expanding on yours, twisting them in
any way possible to make you look bad - just full of bullshit, lies. [1]

“Any excuse will serve a tyrant.” - Aesop.

Pigsy felt inferior, an outsider,
with me there all healthy and sane and stuff. He took offence at my
comparatively puritanical judgements, my reaction to people winding me up, etc.
his intimidation is designed to break up the established, harmonious energy of
me and my flat, to make me more nervous and unstable, to crack. He is trying
instinctively to make cracks in the energy I have downstairs. That’s why he may
give up. He cannot be happy there because I remind him he’s an unhappy, sad old
fuck-up. He can’t take it. Hence, he could only have a chat once he got on a
sober wavelength and could feel some sense of dignity albeit based on lies. So,
if the stronger pink energy remains, it will piss him off (psychically).
Especially if he stays at his flat regularly. He’s going to feel it. So will
his girlfriend.

You need to
be a Superman, as in Nietzsche’s philosophy. You need to be greater than all of
these problems in life, be bigger and more powerful than them. And view Pigsy
as an ant or wasp or something. Just an insect that stings a little. No true
damage. No serious harm.You have to be
a god, effortlessly dealing with everything in your life, not worrying, not
being afraid, working internally to increase your consciousness, your energy,
mind and expression. Be a light which people respect and recognise. They can
see that you are not affected by much in this world because you are more than a
human-animal.

“Troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing.“ - Lady Holland.

This thing
with Pig monster and the nasties next door is an energy thing: it is about
keeping the energy here stable and harmonious so nothing kicks off. They need
volatile energy to work with destructively. You have to compensate for his
negative energy - manage your mutual space. Reign. You may even be safer here
like this because you can control the energy. You know where he is, where he’s
going to try things. So, it’s just here and you can create the energy here as
you live here. If it was in a bar or at work or something, you couldn’t control
the atmosphere or create the energy there totally.

Pigsy wants to feel big, to prove
he’s a big man by making you feel small. He feels like a big shot and can
impress his girlfriend by intimidating, poking fun at you, winding you up. If
he can get your attention, then he can engage with you, pull you into his sick
games, create a psychic tie, a union in which he can pour his negative emotions
and lose his temper. He needs your input as one person’s psychic energy. And intent
is not sufficient to create a light in which the conscious mind is pretty much
overridden and all the anger and bad stuff in the deep unconscious is released.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles...by the ears, by the heels,
or any other way you can manage it." –
Mark Twain.

His power stands in relation to your
fear. If you have power and not fear, he may then feel fear. That’s why he has
to play psychological games. Perhaps he’s doing it because he enjoys the power
of being possessed but needs negative input from you to make it hard for him to
draw on deeper, darker reserves of power within and beyond him (negative
forces). He has no power here so he’s using whatever means he knows to try to
take power from me and establish and claim his territory in the whole house.
That’s what he’s doing - like a dog. Perhaps he feels humiliated and powerless
if he is not in control, if he is not feared. Unless he feels he has power over
me he feels that he is not the powerful man he wants to be and whom his
girlfriend can admire. So he avoids coming here. Or, perhaps it’s just the fact
that I do not react and don’t play his dirty games.

Caine
(David Carradine):
You wish me to go?

(Someone frightened of the fact that
Caine stands up for himself instead of just accepting what the bullies do): I
wish you never had come.

Caine: A man cannot live his whole life
in fear.

(Same man): What have you to fear?
You're a Shaolin priest. If I had your strength...

ALight
Packets which contain advanced information which is sometimes difficult to
decipher are being downloaded to those who have begun the process of unifying
the Sacred Mind and the Sacred Heart. In time, this will become a normal
process; however, for the time being, you must allow yourselves time to turn
inward and contemplate what is being given to you so that you can transform the
knowledge into wisdom and integrate that which rings true to you. You must then
put your newly‑found wisdom into action which will gradually enhance your Light
quotient and will add a new vibrational pattern to your Soul Song. Ask yourself
this question before your sleep time: What have I contributed this day to the
human/earthly storehouse of wisdom and loving energy? Living in a state of
harmlessness in the NOW moment is your goal. Remember, with greater gifts comes
greater responsibility.

As you become more proficient as
cocreators on the earthly plane, you must constantly monitor your energy
patterns and seek to upgrade them. You must strive for sustained harmony and
refined godly expression. You must liberate the power of the Sacred Fire within
which has lain dormant for many thousands of years. You must learn to direct
and focus your energy into the areas of your life you wish to change. By
establishing and constantly upgrading your Creator Wheel of Life, you are
planting the seeds of focussed change and you are supplying the Sacred Fire of
Creation needed to manifest what you have envisioned. When you can do this
proficiently, your personal world will become a wonderland, and you will become
a beacon of Light for all to see.@

‘Reactivity indicates the need for self-forgiveness’
byJeshua (channelled
through Jayem, The Way of Mastery, ‘The Power of Forgiveness,’ Lesson 3, Heartfelt Publishing, VA.,
U.S., 1997,p.35, www.wayofmastery.com).

“Rest
assured, you will continue to project upon others what remains unhealed and
unforgiven within yourself. Each time you react to another, you are being given
a sign that there is some kind of energy that has been presented to your
awareness that you have not forgiven within yourself. If someone is critical
and you react every time they are critical, rest assured, you have not healed
that part of your own being - that part of your own experience of being
critical of others.

Whether
it is occurring now, or whether it seems to be a pattern that you have interrupted
and no longer do, you have still not forgiven yourself for having identified
with that energy.

Use
your ordinary experience in each day to observe what pushes your buttons. We
will give you a very simple technique for doing so. If you will stay with it,
it will reveal to you the energies that are in need of your forgiveness.

The
technique is quite simple. As you go through your day, observe when you feel
as though you are in contraction. Are the muscles of the body tight? Is
the breath very shallow? Does your voice become faster or louder when you speak
about some energy in someone else. That is a sign that you need to do healing
within yourself. When you recognise that these kinds of signs are
going on - in other words, life has presented you with an opportunity to
be disturbed - that is a sign that there is something that requires healing.
Therefore, count it a blessing if you feel disturbed.”

“When a
thing is funny search it for a hidden truth.” – George Bernard Shaw.

Footnote

1. Eckhart Tolle suggests that the ‘pain
body’ is responsible for alcoholism and violence in men and that it is this
which commits the violence. I’m not sure if he means density in the emotional
body which is blocked by negative emotions associated with painful experiences
and which need to be released.

Saturday, 22 March 2014

“Humans fear what they don’t
understand and they hate what they fear.”

(Wes Craven’s documentary, Vampire in Brooklyn, 1995).

People may wonder if I would avenge
myself. The answer is ‘no, never.I
leave that to God.’ In other words, ‘justice’ is a karmic process and a human
being can never take responsibility for another’s lessons. They will come in
good time, even if the person must wait several lifetimes to grow in sufficient
strength to take on the heavier stuff.

Bullying:

Low self-esteem results in a fight
and competition to prove that you are better than others.

‘I’m going to take my anger out on
you’ (because I can, because you’re a victim and won’t do anything about it).

‘You kiss your mother with that
mouth?’ (The ideal thing to say to Mr. Pigsy-Misses-Mummy – if ever you fancy
getting beaten up!).

“When
another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within
himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he
needs help. That's the message he is sending.” - Thich Nhat Hanh.

The tiger gets very possessive and
aggressive over its catch - its food. It growls to warn you off by instinct,
regardless of whether you’re a threat or not.

Animals: the male may not desire
females in the absence of competition. Too complacent. But when competition
exists, the male attacks and sends it off, then mates with the female. Psycho
Pig!

‘Love Your Enemies’ by
William S. Burroughs.

Love your enemies.

It isn’t easy to love an enemy. This
goes against your most basic survival instinct, but it can be done and turned
to an advantage.

Let the love squirt out of you like
a fire hose of molasses. Give him the kiss of life. Stick your tongue down his
throat and taste what he has been eating and bless his digestion. Ooze down
into his intestines and help him along with his food.

Let him know you revere his rectum
as part of an ineffable hose. Make him understand that you stand and lick it
off his genitals as part of the Master Plan.

Life in all its rich variety, do not
falter. Let your love enter into him and penetrate him with a divine lubricant.
Makes KY and Lanolin feel like sandpaper. It’s the most muscologinous, the
slimiest, ooziest lubricant that ever was or shall be.

Amen.

The Little Book of Confidence
by Susan Jeffers
(Rider, London, U.K., 1999).

p.139. Remember the bright side.
Train yourself to stop complaining and look for the blessings and beauty that
surrounds you every moment of every day, despite what is happening in any particular
situation in your life.

p.140. Affirm the abundance.
Whenever you feel scarcity and fear - about money, resources, beauty, love or
anything else - repeat this affirmation: ‘My life is rich and full. I am
focussing on all the beauty within and around me.’

‘Thirty spokes hath the wheel’ but
the hub is all-important [Daodejing].
If you project your will (in tune with your Higher Self) all else will fall
into place. If you focus on the different areas of life, you will get lost in
them. Drive your car at the wheel and sail your ship at the helm, otherwise the
ride will be very rocky and dangerous. Be centred.

Everything is clear and simple. Stay
centred in positive statements about each area of your life.

[First on the list] Pigsy: No
problem - he is moving out. I’m dealing with him.

Pisgy: You’re a bully. You pick on
someone you know can’t fight back and pretend they are aggressive. You make up
stories to give yourself an excuse to bully them and justify yourself. You want
to feel big and strong because you have an inferiority complex and you do it
through perpetual lies and physical intimidation. Drinking helps relax you and
make you feel good and that everything is alright, that you’re powerful so you
never work on yourself to make any changes and grow. The toxins in your body
from the alcohol add further tension and frustration, increasing your paranoia
and making you feel angry. You have a lot of anger inside and alcohol releases
it. You take it out on others and want to see them behaving angrily and
aggressively to justify your fears and insecurities. So you can pretend they
are the aggressors - or, ‘it takes two to tango’ - and your own violent
behaviour is a justified response to attack. And, if they don’t react and get
angry and aggressive with you, you make it all up anyway. It’s in your head and
you then try to make them believe it.

Every time Pigsy comes here, it
ruins the day, puts me on edge and disturbs my peace of mind. It’s unsettling
and unhealthy.

Bullying vulnerable people who can’t
fight back.

Stare people down. Show them you’re
not scared. (Advice for stand-up comics, because if you are nervous and they
overpower you the effect is lost).

"It is
all over school that a seventy-six-years-old woman [Adrian’s grandma, after
learning that he is being tormented by local bully Barry Kent] frightened Barry
Kent and his dad into giving back my menaces money [she assures Adrian that
Barry won't be bothering him again]." – Sue Townsend (The Growing Pains of
Adrian Mole, Methuen, London, U.K., 1984).

Retrospective
inserts.

Derailed (directed by Mackle Håfström,
2005).

Charles Schine (Clive Owen) is set
up by a vicious murderer from France and his girlfriend who extort $20,000 from
him followed by $100,000 which is all the money he and his wife had saved up to
aid their daughter’s illness. When Schine realises that Lucinda Harris
(Jennifer Aniston) is not who she claims to be, he goes after them when they
pull the same trick on another hapless victim in the same hotel. LaRoche
(Vincent Cassel) survives the bullet he took but his girlfriend dies from hers.
Schine is then charged with embezzlement for ‘borrowing’ $10,000 of his company
funds in order to pay someone to scare LaRoche (whom the latter subsequently
shoots). As a former teacher, Schine’s community service is spent in a prison
classroom and reads about the whole ordeal in an exercise book that has been
handed in. The story ends with a statement that he is going to the laundry
room...where he finds LaRoche who tells him he is going to fuck his life up
completely. He forces him up against a wall:

Philippe
LaRoche: You got
put in the wrong fucking prison!

Charles
Schine: LaRoche...I
chose this prison.

Charles Schine then stabs LaRoche in
the stomach with a knife, killing him.

‘To live by the sword is to die by
the sword.’ This is not the way of eternal life. Emulate the Sun to overcome
strife.

“When I went to school there used to
be a bully. He took my goldfish. You understand me? In third grade, he took my
goldfish. He took my motherfucking goldfish. I had it in a plastic bag. He
looked at me and laughed and he stepped on the motherfucker. Yeah he did! I
kept having to see this [guy] for three or four weeks…my home boys, between
us…they whipped his ass and then I seen him again a week later and I whipped
his ass.” – Snoop Dogg (in an interview with DJ Whoo Kid. I think he said that
the adult thug mentality is similar: if you keep going with the testosterone,
aggression turns into acts of violence.

p.214. Unless you are a dictator of
a well-armed country with the military in your pocket or just a plain thug, it
is always wiser not to vent your frustrations through hostile, aggressive or
violent behaviour towards others. You can, of course, use your anger as part of
a strategy to protect human life (yours or someone you’re protecting) in the
face of imminent physical attack - when not sufficiently trained in the art of
self-defence to fight without anger...We all make mistakes. It’s an inevitable
part of the ride down the great thoroughfare, but it’s obviously something you
would wish, as a warrior, to keep to a minimum - especially in connection with
the inappropriate expression of rage, if only to save valuable time spent in
subsequent damage limitation exercises, custodial sentences or hospital.

p.216. ...that person is actually
doing the very best they can according to their current stage of personal
evolution and that there is no need for you to take the effects of that
personally. Once remembered, start saying, ‘I love you, I love you, I love
you!’

[Cut to grannies film, which opens with a pan across Bolton]

Voice of
reporter: [Voice
over] This is a frightened city. Over these streets, over these houses, hangs a
pall of fear. An ugly kind of violence is rife, stalking the town. [Film of old ladies beating up two young men]
Yes, gangs of old ladies attacking fit, defenceless young men.

First Young Man: [Voice over] Well they just come up
to you and push you, like, you know, shove you off the pavement. There's
usually about four or five of them.

Second Young Man (Terry Jones):Yeah, sometimes there’s three or four of them. It’s not even safe
to go out down to the shops anymore.

[Film of grannies harassing an attractive
girl]

Reporter: [Voice over] Grannies are no
respecter of race, creed or sex. Theirs is a harsh, ruthless world, a tough
world, a world in which the surgical stocking is king. But, what are they in it
for, these senile delinquents, these layabouts in lace?

First Granny:[Voice over] Ah, the violence.

Second
Granny: [Voice over] The prestige mainly.

Third Granny: The free gifts.

Fourth Granny: Putting the knee in the groin.

One of the grannies: We like pulling the heads off
sheep.

One of the grannies: And teacakes!

All: Yeah!

Policeman: We have a lot of trouble with these
grannies. Pension day's the worst. As soon as they get it they blow the lot on
milk, tea, sugar, a tin of meat for the cat.

Reporter (Eric Idle): The whole crux of the
problem, er, lies in the basic dissatisfaction, of these senile delinquents,
with the world as they find it. They begin to question the values of their
society. They see their sons and daughters growing up to become accountants,
solicitors, sociologists even, and they begin to wonder, ‘Is it all worth it?
Is it all...[Disappears down a manhole
in the pavement] aaarggh!

[Shot of two grannies replacing manhole cover
and then bashing passersby with their handbags as they flee]

Reporter: [Voice over] Another prime target
for vandalism is telephone boxes. [Film of three grannies hauling a red
telephone box off] But, mostly, they just live for kicks. [Film of three
grannies riding off on motorbikes with ‘Hell’s Grannies’ on the back of their
coats]

Reporter: [Voice over] But there are other
kinds of violence abroad. Other gangs, equally vicious, equally determined,
such as the baby snatchers.

[Film of five men in baby outfits carrying
off a young man from outside a shop. Cut to distraught wife]

Wife (Rita Davies): Well, I left him
outside for a few moments while I got some brillopads. When I came back he was
gone. He was only forty-eight.

[Cut to
vicar walking across a street]

Reporter [Voice
over] And also, vicious gangs of ‘keep left’ signs.

[Two ‘keep
left’ pillar signs attack the vicar]

Colonel (Graham Chapman): Right, stop that.
It’s silly. Very silly indeed. It started off as a nice little idea about old
ladies attacking young men but now it’s gotten silly. His hair’s too long for a
vicar too. And you can tell those are not proper ‘keep left’ signs. [Turning
round] Clear off the lot of you! [To the camera] You, come with me.

Important topic

Did you know that this is the 12th and lowest universe in our multiverse and that it is founded on the energies of fear and suffering which were not resolved in the 11th?

Karma & Emotions

This e-book explores the opportunity for releasing deep emotional blockages from the past that crisis presents and the notion that this process of self-healing is an essential aspect of spiritual ascension (click the picture for more info & free pdf download)

What is, is; how we react is up to us!

"Life is 10 percent of what you make it and 90 percent of how you take it." - Irving Berlin.

☠

Visit my website: Antraeus.com

About Me

Born on 25 November 1965 and currently living in Yorkshire, England. I write songs and books and have a website that serves as a platform for my work as well as being an Ascension resource. The Treasure Chest displays all chapters of The Monstaville Memoirs trilogy as well as further insights from various sources relating to the themes of these books. The Powerlessness of Now reveals the many ways in which we have given our power away to the Establishment through its web of control.

“Someone asked, ‘Why is there suffering?’ [Meher] Baba gave this succinct reply: ‘Suffering is essential for the elimination of the ego, just as it was necessary for you to scrub and scrub in order to wash the stain from my coat.’" - Unkown.

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“Strong souls aren't just born. They are built by forging through the most challenging perils in life and still having the ability to shine.“ – Anon.

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"Pain is inevitable...but misery is optional. We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy." – Tim Hansel.

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I mean no copyright infringement by the posting of pictures, videos, etc. on this website. I do not in any way claim the rights of ownership to any of them. They totally remain the property of their respective owners. I have posted them purely for entertainment purposes. All written content, unless otherwise noted as being quotes or articles by other people, has been written and copyrighted by me. You are welcome to share any of my own work providing you include my name as the author, the title of the excerpt, if any, and preferably my website address as well (www.antraeus.com). Thanks

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”- Joseph Campbell.