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How to Conciliate Motherhood with Feminism

Being a mother, at least a good one, is no doubt
the most difficult assignment and responsibility in life. This is because it
embraces so many facets and roles. Mothers often find themselves with a sense
of guilt and are constantly trying to find a balance or deciding if they are
making the right choices.

However, being a mother can be the most deeply
satisfying growth experience offering moments of pure joy, which are difficult
to find elsewhere. Becoming a parent involves a radical identity change for
anyone; however, a mother is probably more dramatically involved.

When you look at typical families, in most cases
the man is the breadwinner, which means that women usually have no other choice
but to reduce their working hours or leave their career in order to look after
the children and family.

Women are also responsible for the biological
aspect of carrying the child and delivering a baby, as well as the various
phases of rearing, including breast feeding, and child care. Women go through
an enormous hormone imbalance when they are expecting babies and their role
within society changes dramatically.

When a mother first sees her child her world
changes. Although she may have decided to stick to her career commitments even
after having delivered her baby, just looking at it often changes her
perspective of life radically. This cultural shock does not work for everyone
in the same way. Some women love to be mums at home, others simply cannot live
without their jobs or careers.

Unfortunately there are also cases when mums so
desperately want to stay home but cannot due to financial reasons, and they too
need to provide for the family. Whatever the reasons, being a mother is very
challenging, added to the fact that women, often fight about these issues
passionately instead of lending each other a hand.

As a woman matures in her role as mother, she
will be confronted with many realities and truths life shows her. Some of the
truths we were so convinced about initially may take on a completely new
dimension, as well as some of the values and issues we stood up for so
fervently.

A mother has to accept the fact that she is
still evolving as a person and parent and this evolution continues throughout
the years. You cannot really fix any specific ideas in life, as issues can be
very complex and we often find that black or white is often not the right
choice.

As a child grows up, new experiences are to be
had, which make being a mother all the more difficult, as she has to cope with
her childs evolution and hers too. What one can attempt to do is to step back
from your role from time to time and try to objectively assess and evaluate how
you are coping as a parent. This type of experience as a mother can be
considered as a career evolution and many women feel motherhood in itself is a
fulfilling experience, and not a gender issue.