2012 London Olympics: key questions

2012 LONDON OLYMPICS

Updated 10:19 pm, Saturday, August 11, 2012

Runners in Tuesday's 800-meter semifinals run past the Olympic flame in London.

Runners in Tuesday's 800-meter semifinals run past the Olympic flame in London.

Photo: Smiley N. Pool, Houston Chronicle

2012 London Olympics: key questions

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London --

Sum up the Olympics?

You mean it's over? How can that be? I haven't yet memorized the names of the 62 rowing disciplines or the deduction guidelines for pommel-horse dressage.

But indeed, the fat lady is gargling, warming up her tonsils for the big finale, so how can we wrap it all up?

By tradition, this is the time for grandiose pontificating by media bloviators, but frankly, after two weeks of doing that, I'm tapped out. Let's just say goodbye by trying to answer some of the big questions of the Olympics.

Did the Brits pull it off?

Yes. The degree of difficulty was absurd squared. The Olympics have become way too big, expensive, risky and humiliating for any sane city to take on.

"Let's call London," the rest of the world snickered.

Who's laughing now?

London took the advice of Babe Ruth: "Swing big, in case you hit something."

The organizers took big risks, like having Queen Elizabeth skydive out of a helicopter in her frock. What a helicopter was doing in her frock, I have no idea.

Really, quite simply, everything worked beautifully.

They kept us safe. In this crazily unstable world, at an event so vulnerable to calamity, the worst security breach was some yahoo chucking a plastic bottle at the 100-meter sprinters. He got decked by a female judoist for his troubles.

The British people couldn't have been more chipper and charming, starting with the lady volunteer who inspected the POW mug shot on my media credential and said, "Lovely!"

Sure, the British folk were hard to understand, but as Churchill once said, "We are two nations divided by a common language."

The British could wind up bankrupt because of the Games, especially after they get the gas bill for the Olympic flame, but we'll all be long gone by then. We must all remember to send London a thank-you note.

Who is the Big Hero of this Olympics?

Was it Lightning Bolt, the Baltimore Bullet, Ennis the Menace, the Flying Squirrel, King James?

All of the above and more. Really, "hero" was a box of chocolates, a different hero for everyone. You could posterize any one of dozens of magnificent performers, including the blind archer, the eight-months-pregnant rifle shooter, the 71-year-old equestrian, the 13-year-old swimmer and hoopster James Harden, who took gold in the facial-hair competition, edging British bicycle god Bradley Wiggins' sideburns.

Usain Bolt. Not since boxer Muhammad Ali charmed his way to a gold medal at the 1960 Olympics in Rome has an athlete so embraced the Olympic spotlight and graced the Games with his athletic brilliance and his joyous spirit.

Maybe it's a childish illusion that the essence of the Olympics is joy, but if so, don't tell Bolt. Not that he's even listening. He's busy kicking back with the Swedish handball team.

Were the athletes juiced?

Sigh. There's no escaping that question, and no definitive answer.

At least five gold medals were won by athletes who were previously busted for doping violations and who served suspensions.

Accusations flew, led by an American finger-pointing contingent - a prominent (but not Olympic) swim coach, the Bay Area's own Victor Conte, and Carl Lewis, who threw a wet drug blanket over Bolt's performances. Lewis actually did that four years ago, but Bolt remembered.

The truth: It's likely some medals were won by cheaters. We may never know who, so it's your guess, your call: Is the syringe half full or half empty?

The doping drama will never end. Urine samples of London medalists will be stored for testing by methods yet to be developed. So for the heroes here, while their athletic glories may fade, their pee lives forever.

Have women achieved parity?

No, they have exceeded parity. This was a breakthrough Games for women. Several Muslim nations sent female athletes for the first time. Begrudgingly, sure, but they were here.

I haven't seen a medal breakdown by gender, but it would be hard to top the USA, with golds in gymnastics, soccer, swimming, water polo, basketball, track, rowing ...

For women, this had to be a high point in Olympics history. They were faster, stronger, higher and better looking.

Despite IOC harrumphing about how the Olympics aren't about country vs. country, the Olympics are about country vs. country.

The United States won the overall medal count. In the gold-medal count, China was a close second and Great Britain a solid third.

China waxes us in pingpong, but we rule basketball. Which is more important? Well, the biggest celebrity in London outside of Bolt was Kobe Bryant, who brought so much glamour to the Games with his high-profile partying, hooping and general aura that he may be knighted.

What's it all about, Alfie?

Are the Olympics a great gathering of peace and brotherhood/sisterhood, or just a place to air our petty political and philosophical differences in a nonnuclear fashion?

Do the Games promote mutual understanding, or remind us of how much we hate one another?

Too tough to call. This time there were hurt feelings over flag mistakes, blown calls and match-tanking shuttlecock-whackers. Plenty of people went home mad and disappointed.

In that way, the Olympics are like a family reunion. But at least we keep doing it, we keep trying, because we are fam-i-ly.

We squabble, but if for two weeks the weapons of war were whitewater kayaks, there's still hope.

Was it fun?

Covering the Olympics is like using a quill pen to fend off a ferocious beast.

In the spirit of the host country, I began my trip with the Rolling Stones' "Start Me Up," I grooved at the Underground stop to the Kinks' "Waterloo Sunset," and when the plane lifts off, it'll be the Stones again - "Goin' Home."

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