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Mayday, Beltane and Life…

Today is Beltane… the Gaelic May Day festival and celebrations… the halfway point between spring equinox and summer solstice. So Wikipedia tells us. Not that I know that much about May Day or Beltane.

May 1st has always been associated as “Mayday Mayday”… as my husband always teased me, and us about. This date 34 years ago is when we officially began dating. He’d always joke “Mayday, Mayday” as if he was sending out a distress signal. I should have known then that life together would end up being fun and interesting with him and his sense of humour. 🙂

This is us then, on that day 34 years ago… heading off to a wedding for school friends.

Us… then 34 years ago!!

And this is us now, 4 years ago (on my birthday), both a little older, a little wiser, continuing to grow and keep it together. It’s not always been perfect, but somehow we keep ourselves and family’s ship navigating as best as we humanly can, going in the right direction hopefully.

There’s been the occasional distress signal and call for help, with some pretty rough seas to navigate, but this old ship manages to keep on sailing.

Us… 4 years ago!

We often are being guided by shining lights in our lives, from near and far. Each shining light helping us find our way and navigate through the rougher parts of life, showing us the way, and helping us get to smoother waters.

Today it feels again like another rough part of this journey together as a couple and as a family in some ways. Our daughter is gone with her dad this afternoon to meet up with an occupational therapist and hopefully come back home with a wheelchair for her to test out before she gets fitted for the real thing. Yes, our daughter is in need of a wheelchair. She will need a few wheelchairs actually to help meet some of her needs. A lighter wheelchair for when she has to be in/out of places quickly with easy set up where she can lift it out of her car with ease and put together more easily… and the other needs to be a tilt wheelchair for when she has longer visits, or trips to the store, appointments etc. where she needs to recline her body to be more horizontal because of the Dysautonomia (POTS) symptoms she experiences constantly. You can read a little about her journey here.

Its been heart-breaking to see our daughter going through so much with her health. Trying to get a grasp on it has been mind-boggling to say the least. The seas have been pretty rough around here in more ways than one, but she’s had the roughest go at this, out of all of us.

Under all these difficult, challenging and hard parts of life we have come to realize that we have no control over any of it. Often I see incredible signs of resilience, strength and determination in each of us, as much as the weaker part of me just wants to cry some days, the strengths are there too. Even at times when it feels messy and it feels like we just can’t keep it together, when we are breaking apart each taking turns it seems… that’s when the floodgates often open wide, each of us going through some pretty intense emotional and even physical stuff that shakes us at our core. There’s no perfection here, absolutely none. And I certainly don’t wish any of this stuff on anyone, ever. We are all committed to healing, and that makes me beam with pride even if it’s a bloody mess at times. Because underneath the mess transformation is happening.

I sense that we chose to come into this life together to experience many things individually, as well as together. To grow and transform. Certainly none of this we could have predicted 34 years ago, when my husband and I began dating. But here we are today.

Today I am grateful for so many things…

…for the 34 years that my husband (then boyfriend) has chosen to stand by my side and be my pillar of strength, and especially during the times that I find my life to be so overwhelming… and for all the times he’s teased me about the pretend distress calls “Mayday Mayday” he’s certainly brought a lighter and brighter side to all this seriousness… 🙂

…for the strength, determination and incredible courage and continued resilience that our daughter continues to show.up.for.c.o.n.s.t.a.n.t.l.y. even when the battle is incredibly hard because of the unbelievable life altering changes and challenges she’s faced with every single day… she’s fragile, yet she has spunk and strength that will move mountains I feel…

…for the many beautiful angels out there that continue to pray for us and hold us in their positive thoughts…

…for the continued blessings of abundance that keep flowing in for me in so many forms, all which continue to surprise me and bless me with exactly what is needed. Today was one such gift came my way again… you know who you are, thank you so much!! 🙂 I’m beginning to see that the Universe is working behind the scene with many people in many ways to help guide me on this journey, making it easier in many ways for me to do this deep inner work, so I can continue showing up every single day to do the best I can in my life…

…for those that lend a helping hand with our son, offering us respite when we need to get away for meetings, appointments or therapy (which pretty much sums up our lives these days)… and the very odd time where we might get to go out for tea or coffee, thank you…

…that I am learning to ask for help, and even accepting with greater ease. Thank you for all those who are teaching me this…

…for the many mentors, friends, and healers along the way that help support me and my family, thank you… and if you aren’t sure that I mean you, YES you. If you are reading this, it’s because you have been there for me (and/or us) in more ways than one…

…and I could go on and on. I am grateful beyond words for all of it, for each of you who help us along the way.

So today in celebration of our 34th (dating) anniversary, and Beltane… I hope to be able to do a Wish Box Charm with my husband later. I read about it in this article. Today seems like a good day to set our hearts together and connect with a few wishes for us and our family and allow today’s energy to make some of our wishes come true.

Comments

Bright Beltane wishes Suzanne. What an incredible journey you and your family have been on, and although I know you’ve all felt tested, it’s clear what strength and support and grace you bring to table.

I love the idea of a wish charm box – it’s not something I’ve heard of before but it indeed sounds like a wonderful thing to do with your beloved husband on this special day. Wishing you all the best always.Deborah Weber recently posted..Spring May Flowers

Oh Suzanne! Woven into your words and the foundation for your daughter’s strength, is so much love. Love flows through you and you in turn pour your love back out into the world. Love opens our eyes and hearts and allows us to participate in the tiny miracles that transform lives. Happy May Day my friend. You walk your path with grace and beauty and a lightness that is fortifying and inspiring. I love seeing the photos of you with your husband. What a team! xolisa recently posted..What the trees told me …

Suzanne – you words give me such inspiration to be thankful for everything in my life – I had never heard of this disease, but upon researching it – I can’t believe how many it affects. Inspiring to find the positive in any inspiration is something else you do! It is a journey, but you are making it with hope and now help. I’m glad you have learned to ask for help – it isn’t easy. I’m glad you are getting it with your son. I wish I was closer! But – I can sent prayers, thoughts, and pay more attention to this disease as well as autism –Vickie Martin Conison recently posted..APRIL READING – CLASSICS, MYSTERIES, AND A LITTLE HUMOR

My heart goes out to you and your family, Suzanne! You’ve had some incredible challenges, and you’ve shown incredible grace. Many blessings to all of you. (P.S. I just heard on the radio that funny men make the best lovers.)Janet recently posted..I Have a Dream

And then, I continued reading, and saw that you have all these hard things, and breaking points you keep passing and leaving behind and you keep not breaking. You break down, and you get real, and you cry – that is not the same. You are a pillar. You have gratitude and joy and love woven throughout your every word. You have caught me in your story and I do not want to leave.Liesl Garner | Love.Sparks.Art recently posted..Filling Small Pages with Enormous Words of Love

Oh Suzanne, I had no idea. Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your world. The fact that you and are husband are standing firmly together in the midst of all of this, speaks volumes. And the fact that you have learned to ask for help? Magical. That is such a huge step. I struggled with that one myself and have had to learn to also overcome it.Kelly L McKenzie recently posted..Returning College Kids Mayday

Suzanne,
You are an inspiration to women. Your awareness of the abundance in your life when so easily you could choose another path of thought is just amazing. We learn so much in this second half of life, don’t we? I think that realizing we have so much more to be grateful for than to feel bitter about enables us to continue on this journey and to spread that message to all. What a gift you are to the world.
Shari 🙂

To each of you who left a message… a great big thank you. 🙂 It means so much to me to have read each of your lovely words. It helps me see where we’ve been, where we are, even where we are going. We continue daily to navigate what feels like the next best step. Life has challenges, but life also brings us incredible beauty and support… often from others who’s paths cross ours, and from those who leave me their words of wisdom. Blessings to each of you!! <3