The Rev. Tim Schenck, rector of St. John the Evangelist in Hingham, Mass., looks for God amid domestic chaos

10 Reasons Not to Pledge

About this blog

Tim Schenck is an Episcopal priest, husband to Bryna, father to Benedict and Zachary, and \x34master\x34 to Delilah (about 50 in dog years). Since 2009 I've been the rector of the Episcopal Parish of St. John the Evangelist in Hingham, Mass. (on the
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Tim Schenck is an Episcopal priest, husband to Bryna, father to Benedict and Zachary, and \x34master\x34 to Delilah (about 50 in dog years). Since 2009 I've been the rector of the Episcopal Parish of St. John the Evangelist in Hingham, Mass. (on the South Shore of Boston). I've also served parishes in Maryland and New York. When I'm not tending to my parish, hanging out with my family, or writing, I can usually be found drinking good coffee -- not that drinking coffee and these other activities are mutually exclusive. I hope you'll visit my website at www.frtim.com to find out more about me, read some excerpts from my book \x34What Size are God's Shoes: Kids, Chaos & the Spiritual Life\x34 (Morehouse, 2008), and check out some recent sermons.

As stewardship season rolls around in churches throughout the country and people begin to squirm in their pews, I thought I’d help parishioners who don’t want to pledge with some helpful justifications. I encourage you to use these on your rector, stewardship chair, parish treasurer, or the poor sap designated to give you a follow-up phone call. With a little creativity, you too can do your part to avoid furthering the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth.

10 Reasons Not to Pledge

1. “I’m morally opposed to pledging.” This allows you to stake out the moral high ground. And, after all, shouldn’t the church live up to its name as a community of “faith” and take it on faith that there will be enough money to pay for the heating bill this winter?

2. “The disciples didn’t pledge. Why should I?” True. Plus, this statement demonstrates your expansive knowledge of Scripture. Nevermind that they gave their entire lives over to Jesus — they never actually filled out a papyrus pledge card.

3. “I don’t attend church very often.” Only Christmas and Easter. Oh, and every family baptism, wedding, and funeral. You may not be there when the church needs you but, boy, that church better be there when you need it.

4. “It can’t cost that much to run a church. Just bread, wine, and a priest, right?” Make sure to tell the priest you assume he/she took a vow of poverty upon ordination. And that if your priest actually wanted a lifestyle that included a working boiler in the rectory, he/she should have become a hedge fund manager instead.

5. “You’d just waste my money on candles. Or give it away.” Accuse the church of spending too much on frivolous things like feeding programs.

6. “I don’t trust the treasurer. He has shifty eyes.” It’s always good if you can blame others as the reason for not pledging. Some popular ones include “I don’t like the rector’s sermons” and “The senior warden avoided me at coffee hour last May.”

7. “I prefer to give my talent rather than my treasure.” Who cares if your real “talent” is avoiding contributing to the life of the community?

8. “I give when I can.” In other words, you drop two single dollar bills in the plate (rigorously folded to look like an $11 bill) on the one Sunday a month you happen to show up.