Dictionary.com defines change as the following:

CHANGE
verb (used with object), changed, changing.

To make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something)
different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone:To change one’s name;to change one’s opinion;To change the course of history.

Not sure if this office setup has the lumbar support I need..

What a simple, easy to understand, straight to the point definition. And yet, as simple as it is to understand, why then do we humans have so much trouble implementing change into our own lives?
I’m not talking about changing the tires on your car, or, the vacuum bag, or your little human’s diapers; although some of these things are dull, taxing, or unpleasant. I’m talking about real change. Meaningful life-altering change.

Four years ago I found myself in a terrible position. I was stuck in a dead end job with no further room for growth. I wasn’t learning any new skills or even really developing my current skill set. The monetary compensation was less than adequate, and I was oh, so very bored. I can look at that time now and easily identify these symptoms for what they were: I was stuck. I needed a career transplant.

I was trapped in this Grand Canyon-sized rut where it became easier to do nothing than to fix my situation. I had absolutely no idea how to get out of it. I was walled in and (thought) I didn’t have the tools to get myself out.

But everyone has a boiling point, don’t they? Everyone will eventually find themselves in a position where change becomes inevitable. And sometimes, all it takes to initiate that change is a little luck, a little timing, and a little pro-activity. Jamie, a co-worker of mine at the time, knew of my struggles with the daily grind and had often been a sounding board for me when I had to let off steam. Jamie turned out to be the husband of my current employer, the incomparable Jen Wright.

Taking action, finally

Combine the fact I had recently returned to high school to obtain my diploma after a 17 year hiatus (that’s a change story for another time) with an increasing difference of opinion on certain matters with some of my co-workers led to me investigate a suggested employment agency here in the city. I set up the appointment to meet with someone in a fancy downtown office; I took their online office skills test, and went for the follow up meeting on a Friday after work. I was told that they would be in touch with me and that was that.

It was the following Monday when Jamie stepped into my office and said to me. “Jenny is looking to hire an office manager, are you interested?” Boom. All of a sudden, I had a lifeline. It was like Regis had just given me an extra phone a friend and I was about to become a millionaire.

The next week when the employment agency called, I happily told them I had found what I was looking for and that their services would not be needed.

I don’t normally put a lot of stock in Karma or that kind of thing, but I can honestly tell you that I believe the only reason that the offer came my way was because I had taken the first step and had unknowingly asked the universe to give me the change I needed.

“Try the Human, it’s delicious”

The reason people have trouble with change is because, not surprisingly, it’s really hard.

It’s like jumping into a lake you’ve never swam in before.

You know that moment when you’re standing on the dock, imagining all the hideous and murderous monsters that are right now swimming just below the surface? That’s how change can feel. Scary. Scary, slimy and covered in murder-y scales.

Change is difficult for me because I like things to be consistent.

Everything in their place and all that. The big win for me was learning to realize that things were broken and out of place. It took me a long time, but I did it.

When I finally realized that I couldn’t keep doing things the way I’d been doing them, the universe responded with a giant “Well it’s about time. Here, take this happiness and meaning. Have a good day” and vaporized all the sea mutants waiting below the surface.

So yes, change is difficult. But is it essential to survival? Yes. Is it one of the keys to happiness? Probably. Have and will I continue to look for opportunities to evolve? Certainly.

We at Whole Therapy want to hear from YOU! Take a picture or write a post about your #ChangeOneThing experience. Don’t forget to use the hashtag #WholeTherapy as well.

Pat Moore is the office manager at Whole Therapy. Pat works alongside a team of dedicated professionals and is here to help ensure that your visit at Whole Therapy is as pleasant as possible. For more about Pat, click here!

Husband Jamie and I took the kids wilderness camping at Algonquin Park a few weekends ago; it was their first time, and they loved it.

Gorgeous weather as we set out. What’s not to love?

When camping, one has a singular purpose: to survive. There’s no luxury to camping in the wilderness, save for a decadent square of dark chocolate at the end of the evening, or a luxuriously dry pair of socks when your body is damp to the bone.

We pushed on, canoed until our arms and shoulders ached, carried our canoes and packs on our tired backs, found a place to rest, set up camp and made food to fuel us. We slept when it darkened. Then we woke up and did it again. In between, we swam and laughed, interacted with each other (without the distraction of electronic devices), made up stories, sang songs, and observed the wonder of nature. It was amazing.

Yes, the pack IS as heavy as it looks.

The rhythm of camping and portaging is simple, satisfying. I felt better about myself camping (dirty, calloused and aching) than usual, and I didn’t touch a phone or look into a mirror in over 72 hours.

That’s not an accident.

I was able to really feel my body on our trip. I felt the strength in my legs and back as I hefted my 65-pound pack (and added Little One’s pack to it as well, when she tired). I felt my hunger rise up as we finished setting up tents: a natural reminder to eat for fuel rather than out of habit or boredom. And I sank into sleep each night, sardined in with Middle and Oldest, I felt heavy and worked, and grateful to be lying down, and even though a thermarest is hardly a plush mattress, I slept like the dead.

If only life were so simple, I thought as we travelled – a clear purpose, a drive and need to succeed.

Reflecting on life in my journal.

But life is so many shades of camping – not quite urgent, or so much more so, not quite survival, but living “to the fullest” – whatever that means.

Everything in nature does its best to adapt. Not like humans, who try and shape the world around us to fit our own needs. In nature, even an acorn blown by mistake to the edge of a cliff will grow sideways and thrive as it reaches for the sun.

We need to learn to grow sideways.

In this way, the simplicity of the wild is so much more advanced than our technologically brilliant society; we, in the acorn’s position, would look for a better, more advantageous spot to grow, and though we may grow straighter, taller, we would miss out on that amazing view. Not to mention, we would miss finding out what we are made of.

I thought about that acorn, and survival, a lot on our trip. Obviously we were close enough to civilization that most emergencies could be easily rectified. But most of our creature comforts were taken away: no couch to laze on. No phone to surf Facebook. No coffee maker, no takeout, nothing quick. If I wanted a meal I had to work for it. If I wanted to be entertained I had to use my imagination.

Little One hams it up in the tent.

There was no passivity, no boredom. Only a deep sense of appreciation for the skills and strength I possess, my family, and all the beauty nature has to offer.

And now that we’re home, and continuing our journey here, I’m more than content with some wine, some good conversation, and a sunset. More rolling with the punches, less trying to shape the world to my whims.

I want to see the view from the side of the cliff.

About the Author: Jen Wright is an RMT and the owner of Whole Therapy. She is an avid gym-goer and loves to lift heavy stuff. She sees clients of all ages and stages, especially those who are engaged in bettering themselves. She believes that pain-free is possible. For more about Jen, click here.

Got my red belt in karate this weekend. My first coloured belt; I’m no longer the lowest on the totem pole! My gi has pizzazz now: and I’m proud fit to burst.

Celebrate!

So often, in the dojo and out in the world, I see people brushing off their achievements.

“Yeah, I just ran a 10k, but it’s not like it’s a marathon or anything.”

“I did just work for 5 years to lose that weight, but it’s no big deal; I really shouldn’t have been fat in the first place.”

“I got my red belt, but it’s just red – I have a long way to go before my black belt.”

Seriously. Can we cut out the false modesty?

Seriously. Cut it out.

Achieving things makes me happy and fulfilled. As it should. I work deliberately to get things done. I’m not the kind of person to whom things come naturally.

My fitness level? Worked my ass off (literally) to get here. I still work extremely hard; if I didn’t, I would be much weaker and flabbier. My pear-shaped body likes to be softer; I was never the skinny kid, and I never will be able to just eat whatever and not gain weight.

So I take pride in completed workouts in which I did my best.

My business? I went through a lot of change and learning to open it. Then a lot more to transition it to something I truly believed in. It’s been tough – rewarding, but really tough. Some days it stresses me out, and other days I revel in the smoothness of operations. But it’s never easy.

So I take pride in the new things I learn and the firm decisions I make.

And now, my red belt. In March, I had never done karate before. 4 months later and I’m committed to weekly (or more) classes in the dojo, and practice with Sensei Jamie outside of that. You’ll often find me brushing my teeth in shiko dachi, a wide-legged stance. I have to repeat movements about a million times before I’m even serviceable at them (choreography of any kind is not my friend). I love every minute of each comfort-zone-pushing class.

It’s NOT just a red belt! It’s the culmination of my hard work so far. 🙂

Little triumphs can make the difference between a fulfilled life and an unfulfilled one. If I work hard, I celebrate. I don’t need to win a gold medal in the Olympics to be proud of myself.

It’s not, contrary to popular opinion, arrogant or overconfident to celebrate your achievements, rather it’s a necessary component of living a happy life.

Did you exercise today? Pat yourself on the back. Did you check any items off your to-do list? High five! Notice I didn’t ask you if you’ve hit your goal weight or completed your to-do list; those are bigger celebrations. The little ones count too, though, and should be recognized.

Whether it’s a belt in karate, getting my shopping done, eating well today, or something else, I’m going to continue to live deliberately, working towards and celebrating the milestones, whether they are big or small.

Life’s too short: celebrate every bit of this journey.

About the Author: Jen Wright is an RMT and the owner of Whole Therapy. She is an avid gym-goer and loves to lift heavy stuff. She sees clients of all ages and stages, especially those who are engaged in bettering themselves. She believes that pain-free is possible. For more about Jen, click here.

In April I had the opportunity to speak at a Women’s Business Network breakfast, and I spoke about a topic that I deem extremely important. Read on to find out how to start listening to the language of your body.

Listening to the language your body speaks enables you to give it what it needs. When you respect your body’s needs, you can nourish it in the right ways, and be healthier, more functional, and overall happier with life.

Too often we ignore the little signals our bodies give us. Headache? Just pop a pill. Tired? Just one more hour on the computer. Stiff? Ignore the discomfort, it’ll eventually go away, right?

Nope. The body has the amazing ability to speak to you louder and louder until you get the message. Eventually, it will make you pay attention, even if it has to shut you down with extreme pain or limitation.When learning to listen, it’s vital that we deem ourselves important enough. If we don’t, we’ll never understand our body’s language because that would mean we’d have to listen! Many people get by on “good enough” but is that really okay? Would “good enough” be an adequate health status for our children? Our significant others? No way! Would you drive a vehicle every day that was only “good enough?” Probably not.

And yet we “drive” our bodies around in that state all too often. You are important. Make sure you know that. Because “good enough” within our own selves does not lead to greatness in our family lives, our relationships, or our businesses.

So how do I know what my body has to say? Here are the steps to follow:

Tune In.

What is your body saying? Start simple. How is your temperature right now? I ask my clients this before every massage, and it tunes them in right away. Too warm? Sweaty? Chilly under a vent? Just perfect? Take a second and tune in to what your body feels about temperature.

Then, move on to discomfort. Start from your head and work down to your toes. Are you uncomfortable anywhere? Are you extra aware of one side of your neck versus the other? Are you sitting in a way that’s making your back hurt? Are your knees creaky? Discomfort and pain are often ignored because we feel we don’t have the time for them. However, to paraphrase an oft-used quote, Those who think they have no time to deal with discomfort will sooner or later have to find time to deal with injury.

Once you have tuned in to your body’s sensations like cold/hot, hunger/satisfaction, or discomfort/pain, you’re on the right track. Sensations are important because they connect you to what your body needs right now.

Honest assessments to get to the root of the issue.

Assess. Why am I feeling this way? It’s important that you assess without judging too much (it’s hard, I know). Judging can lead to runaway emotions and turn small problems into big ones.

For example: The sensation of being too hot can lead to annoyance – I hate having these hot flashes! Stupid body! Instead of judging, ASSESS: do you notice that they happen more often when you’re stressed? More often in the morning? Can you see a pattern? If you can, you’re closer to understanding your body’s language, and it can help with your emotional response.

The sensation of pain or discomfort can lead to anxiety – what’s wrong with me? Is this serious? Is it just a headache or something worse? Instead of judging, ASSESS: Why is my head hurting? Am I dehydrated? Have I been staring at this screen too long? Did I sleep funny? Asking simple questions can sometimes reassure you when it comes to pain.

“Action always beats intention”

Take Action: Now that you’ve discerned what your body is trying to tell you (or you’re on track), you need to take action. It’s important not to tell your body to “shut up.” Eventually, your body will make you listen, even if it has to shut you down in the process.

If you don’t know what action to take, that’s okay. Asking for help is perfectly fine. My colleagues and I help people learn to interpret their body’s language every day. It’s a process of trial and error. But you have to take some action, or nothing will happen at all.

If, while practicing, frustration creeps in, remember that’s normal. We all want instant gratification: I want my body to just be good! I want there to be no pain or discomfort!

Well I want my business to make a million dollars this year, and I want my kids to pick up their clothes without me asking a million times… but it doesn’t just happen!

You have to learn how to ask if you want results. Learning to speak back to your body is as important as listening to it speak to you. We’re not going to live healthy into our eighties by eating crappy food and being sedentary. When we eat crappy food, we’re telling our bodies “Here, this is your fuel.” When we exercise, we’re telling our bodies, “Get used to this; adapt; be stronger.” By comparison, if you tell your body, “this computer posture is normal” eight hours a day, your body will adapt to that!

Remember that you are speaking to your body as much as it is speaking to you. You can get help learning to listen to your body’s language, but for the most part, it just takes practice and perseverance, and an intuition that I know we all have (we are women after all!).

To recap: In order to be better at listening to the language of your body, first, TUNE IN to the physical sensations and the emotions that your body is presenting to you. Tune in often. Scan your body often.

Second, ASSESS why your body is speaking to you. Why am I feeling this way? If you can’t figure it out, ask for help.

And third, TAKE ACTION when your body speaks to you. Take action in a timely manner, and use intuition as your guide.

Remember: even though it might not always feel like it, your body is great. It’s great. And it’s talking to you. Make sure you listen.

Jen Wright is an RMT and the owner of Whole Therapy. She is an avid gym-goer and loves to lift heavy stuff. She sees clients of all ages and stages, especially those who are engaged in bettering themselves. She believes that pain-free is possible. For more about Jen, click here.

I’m watching Jessica Kanstrup run a bootcamp class. At first glance, the 26 year-old is an intimidating figure, even at 5’4”; she paces slowly back and forth across the studio stage in her black tights and red GoodLife Fitness shirt, stopwatch in hand, brow knitted, watching her crew of ladies sweat it out in their circuit. It’s clear from the stern expression on her face that no one is going to slack off under her watch. Then suddenly, she looks down at the stopwatch, clicks it, and shouts a command: all of her ladies come to a relieved stop and stare at her with expectant expressions.

Jess’ face breaks into a huge grin and her hands fly into the air in victory. The rest of her crew does the same; the class is over. They’ve done it! The exhausted and relieved expressions on all of their faces say it all: they are both ecstatic to be done and delighted they came. Jess congratulates each lady in turn as they leave the studio. It’s evident she is someone who loves her job and cares about her clients.

“Having a trainer is so important for success,” she says as we sit for the interview, “It’s definitely been important for me [training for this fitness competition]. My first show, Chris [a male colleague] trained me, then I trained myself for the second one, and this time I wanted a female perspective. We correspond every week, and I see her once a month so she can measure me and take my body fat, and take a look at me to see how my body is coming along. It’s been great so far.”

I believe her. Training for a fitness competition is definitely hard work, but this beautiful blonde hardbody seems to have it all together. What’s her secret?

“Not a lot of cardio!” She laughs. Jess is weeks away from her third fitness competition. Last summer, she competed for the first time in SAF (Serious About Fitness), as well as in Physique Canada. She took home first place in both shows, blowing her competition out of the water with her balanced physique and elegant stage presence.

“It was the most exciting day of my life,” she says, “I discovered my passion for competing and pushing myself to the limits to be the best I can be. I competed again in the SAF Elite Pro Championship last October, and also placed first again with Physique Canada and became a Tier 1 Pro. It’s been a whirlwind.”

A whirlwind to say the least, but Jess is used to a lot of activity. “Growing up,” she says, “I was always an active kid that loved to be outside and moving around. I never played any specific sports, [but] I took acting classes and loved to sing and dance and be in front of the camera.”

Jess is definitely great in front of the camera. From her pictures, it seems as though she was born to be in the spotlight. Is it hard for her to stay grounded in such a vain industry? “It’s hard sometimes. It crossed my mind, getting implants, but it was more just a thought. I compete naturally in an industry full of enhancement – drugs and plastic surgery – and while that’s fine for those competitors, I realized it’s not my style. So I enter natural competitions so I can compete on more of a level playing field.”

And what led her to a career in fitness in the first place? “I come from a family with a history of alcoholism and drug addiction; my family has suffered a lot of loss and tragedy. As I grew up, I realized I never wanted to end up down that path, like my two half-sisters who I have lost.

“In grade 11 I discovered weight lifting and fell in love with fitness. I realized I wanted to help others discover this love for fitness and decided to pursue a career as a personal trainer. I attended Algonquin College in the Fitness and Health Promotion program and then started working at GoodLife when I was 18.”

With such a demanding schedule (she works 7am to 7pm at the gym, plus works out five days a week), how does Jess
find time to unwind? “Wellness for me is taking time for myself to rest; I’ve been doing yoga once a week, and I always try and get enough sleep. In this sport, recovery is almost more important than the workout. It’s a little extreme, so you need to make sure you balance the hard stuff with enough rest. The team at Whole Therapy have helped me as well; I see [Jen] for massages as often as I can.”

In light of her success thus far on stage, I wondered if modelling was in Jess’ future career plans. “I’m not sure if I could or would make modeling my entire career. Right now it’s something I do on the side that compliments my training. In the future I’d love to do more of it, and get into coaching other competitors as well.”

Look for Jessica Kanstrup at next weekend’s SAF and Physique Canada shows, taking place Friday and Saturday, June 12 and 13 at the Canadian Museum of History. Get tickets to the show here.

Know someone who would be great in the Wellness Spotlight? Send us an email! info.wholetherapy@gmail.com

Jen Wright is an RMT and the owner of Whole Therapy. She is an avid gym-goer and loves to lift heavy stuff. She sees clients of all ages and stages, especially those who are engaged in bettering themselves. She believes that pain-free is possible. For more about Jen, click here.

I’m on a mission to “create space” in my head. That was part of my homework when I had my nutritional consult with Karen, and I’ve been searching for it ever since.

Meditation is the obvious choice for opening the mind, but meditation, it should be said, is like stabbing myself in the eye with a fork is not really my thing. I can’t picture myself sitting cross-legged doing nothing but contemplating for any length of time. Actually, thinking about it now makes me laugh – my three year-old, Molly, would be like, “Cool! Mum’s a jungle gym!” in about five seconds. Plus my mind wanders incessantly, and my inner monologue would no doubt have a field day: Why are you doing this? This is boring. This is stupid. You have an itchy leg. What’s that noise outside? I wonder if that laundry’s done. What is Molly up to? Is she colouring on the wall again… and so on.

So no meditation. But space is still the objective. Running helps, but I need something more.

A few weeks ago, our family joined a local dojo. Husband Jamie has studied martial arts since he was six years old, and his old Sensei practices nearby. He thought it would be a good experience for all of us to join together. So off we went.

I was nervous at first. Even with all of my fitness experience, I have never delved into the world of martial arts. It was an entirely unexplored arena for me; a thought that both terrified and excited me.

My first few classes, I followed along tentatively as we punched, kicked, and learned the white-belt katas. My choreography skills and spatial perception are crap, let’s just get that out of the way. It’s a wonder I can tie my shoes in the morning. Thank goodness I don’t operate heavy machinery for a living.

Sweat, eyebrows scrunched up in concentration, more sweat, repeat this move, repeat that move. And again. And again.

Soon, I realize, I’m starting to get it. I’m moving in the right direction! I can high block and low block and even kick a bit without falling over. It isn’t pretty yet… but I’m realizing that it won’t be unless I repeat those movements thousands of times over.

I watch Sensei Jamie in his black-belted magnificence, doing the same movements as I am, yet with an assured confidence, and an air of absolute mastery around him. He has practiced these moves for thirty years. I’ve been practicing them for thirty minutes.

Still, I see what is possible, watching him. The katas are beautiful, thirteen ways to artfully kick your opponent to the curb. When I practice, I see each movement as it comes, and I struggle to remember how to execute the next one. When Sensei Jamie practices, I see no struggle behind his eyes: just a space in his mind that is both peaceful and full of warriorship.

I want to get to that place.

And so I go to class. I practice at home. I’m dreaming about karate, and my body is learning and adapting to new movements and mindsets. I never would have dreamed I would love it so much in such a short time, but I do.

As the journey continues, I for once am not focussed on the end result. I don’t really care to get a higher belt, or more recognition, or really ever lay a hand on an enemy for real. I’m focussed on getting to that place of serenity that repetition brings; that bubble of nothingness that I’m on the edge of grasping. I’m almost there.

Jen Wright is an RMT and the owner of Whole Therapy. She is an avid gym-goer and loves to lift heavy stuff. She sees clients of all ages and stages, especially those who are engaged in bettering themselves. She believes that pain-free is possible. For more about Jen, click here.

Last night, I laced up my new sneakers and went for my first run of the season. Here’s a snippet of my inner monologue:

Oh wow. Amazing. These shoes feel so comfy; I can’t wait to tackle this run!

Ugh. Definitely not moving as well as I did the last time I ran. It’s ok. Keep on trucking. It’ll improve.

Ok I have a cramp. It’s probably time to take a br- what? It’s only been 3 minutes? Gah…

The cramp is gone but I can feel my belly shaking. This is both motivating and extremely depressing. Go away, flab! Go away! I’ll bet my butt is jiggling too…

Oh I love running. It’s been 12 minutes and I’m starting to settle in. I’m getting that good running feeling! I can still feel that cramp. Shut up, head, enjoy this. Oh I love running!

…and on it went for 30 minutes until I was a sweaty, happy, smiling mess.

Although it may not seem like it from my inner monologue, running has been my mental health savior these past few years. I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember, and when I discovered running, I opened the door to a remedy that could never be found in a pill bottle.

As a kid and teenager I was a total running failure. I would be the one walking around the track as the others sprinted effortlessly. I would hide behind the portables on track and field day. I avoided team sports and gym. I wasn’t built to be a runner: at 5’ tall and 25 lbs overweight, I was stocky, pear-shaped, and completely unsuited to the activity.

Fast-forward a few years. I’m about to turn 21, living on my own for the first time, in a sucky relationship, and have a new job as a Personal Trainer. I’m still overweight (although strong and generally healthy), and I’m feeling self-conscious about being unable to run in my current position as a health role-model.

I decided to train for a sprint triathlon.

While the odds were against me, I toiled and sweated and inner-monologued myself to the edge over three months of intense training. I learned that running was a place to sort out my problems. I learned about my body’s language, and began to appreciate how my body worked for me when I fed it running fuel and stretched after my runs.

I lost weight. The months leading up to that initial triathlon saw me drop 10 % body fat. I no longer felt like a fat Personal Trainer. I felt like a good, healthy role model for my clients.

My first triathlon. I did it!

Fast forward another few years. Running has given rise to peace from anxiety attacks, quality time for self-reflection, and accomplishment from achievements. I started with 5k and progressed to half marathons. I got my Mum involved in running, too (she now puts me to shame and runs at least two full marathons a year).

I use running to both escape and connect. When I had a miscarriage a few years ago, running helped me get through it. Running has allowed me to evolve as a businesswoman and make better, more solid decisions for my team.

I will lace up my sneakers again tomorrow, and venture out again. Eventually, I know that my inner monologue will quiet down and let me enjoy a peaceful silence in my mind.

Until then, I’m embracing the journey.

Jen Wright is an RMT and the owner of Whole Therapy. She is an avid gym-goer and loves to lift heavy stuff. She sees clients of all ages and stages, especially those who are engaged in bettering themselves. She believes that pain-free is possible. For more about Jen, click here.

I’m healing this week, from a bit of a wounded pride. I have tried and failed to do at least 4 fitness shows. I did succeeded once, but in hindsight, I feel like I might have only succeeded at the hands of Trainer Jamie, who basically pulled me along and made decisions for me. This time, with only me at the helm, I failed.

Or did I?

At the beginning of this fitness journey, I told the world my plans to keep me accountable and on an even keel. And it worked, to some extent: It helped to know there were people cheering me on. But in the end, my decision to stop all of this made me feel both empowered and lost. Was it the right thing to do?

Right or wrong, this humble-pie eating experience has taught me a few things:

Failing is really, really, normal. Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10, 000 ways that won’t work.” My track record is one win for five “losses”, so I suppose I’m doing alright. The wins in life are remarkable; failure is easy to come by. If we just press on knowing that failure is inevitable, I feel like success might come faster.

Failing is really, really subjective.“A failure,” says B.F. Skinner, “is not always a mistake. It may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.” Ah, there is my perspective: I did the best I could do, and I didn’t make the stage, but that doesn’t mean I failed. In the eyes of others, I won: I whipped my body into excellent shape. I had dedication. I still want to stay in great shape and have dedication. True failure here would be to throw in the towel, stop exercising, and eat a vat of ice cream. Not happening.

Failing serves a higher purpose. I’m not religious, nor am I superstitious. But things happen for a reason, and maybe in the depths of our despair we are too short-sighted to see what those reasons are. “The season for failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of success.” – Paramahansa Yogananda. We can learn a whole lot from a failure. Once I started to dig myself out of my pity-hole, I saw that I had indeed been on the wrong track. For me, sowing the seeds of success looks like developing better long-term eating habits and practicing self-love and self-acceptance. Maybe the universe has bigger plans for me on this path.

So let me see how this sounds: I didn’t fail. I won.

I have this body that is so awesome. It works. My body lifts heavy weights. It massages people. It made a really amazing little person whom I love to bits. My body does all of these things for me every day, and what did I do for it? I fed it boring food and berated it for not being perfect enough.

If I soften the light I’ve shone on myself, I might notice that I’m human, just like the rest of the world. I look fine. And why, honestly, do I care so much? Maybe I should focus on the inside stuff more. Maybe a little external disconnect would do my soul some good.

The journey continues.

Jen Wright is an RMT and the owner of Whole Therapy. She is an avid gym-goer and loves to lift heavy stuff. She sees clients of all ages and stages, especially those who are engaged in bettering themselves. She believes that pain-free is possible. For more about Jen, click here.

This diet thing isn’t working. It’s making me miserable, in fact. Not in the overt, I’m-so-hungry-shoot-me-now way that it did last time. This time it’s a slow and subtle road to miserable. I’m munchy, not hungry, all the time. I don’t feel like my body is crazily burning fuel like before. It sucks.

In some ways I have more discipline than last time: when there are sweets and treats around, I seldom want any and can avoid them without having Trainer Jamie talk me off the ledge. In others, I feel like I have so much less: breakfasting with the kids when there are pancakes or sausages or even fruit salad on the table makes me feel achy and empty that I can’t partake.

Part of me processes this information and thinks, Get a grip. You can still hang out with the kids without eating sausages. But the other part of me wonders, Well what are you doing this for, anyway?

And that part of me, the questioning side, got my attention this weekend.

What am I doing this show for? I don’t know. It started out as a way to push us all forward. Ana needed a driving force. Bailey wanted a new journey. I needed to focus and train hard. But we are doing all of that. And I realize that the only part of this I’m dreading is the initial goal I set for myself of getting on stage.

Weird how that happens…

Getting on stage and doing a fitness show means that I’m focussed on the end result. I have tried to focus on the steps of the journey, but it’s legitimately stressing me out. Do I simply not have what it takes anymore?

This weekend I decided to eat “whatever I wanted” within the calorie count that I was given. I still aimed for the proper proteins, carbs, and fats, but I allowed myself to have yogurt, bread, popcorn with butter, and even a glass of wine. I made sure I stuck with the right calories, and had tons of veggies and lean proteins and water as well.

And do you know what happened? Nothing. The world didn’t end. I wasn’t bloated, or hungry, or stressed out, or hating myself. Amazing.

I had a great weekend with the kids and Husband Jamie, and I had no guilty feelings about show prep or anything. I realized that I really, really like raw oats with yogurt and almonds. I had forgotten! I was also able to sit down with the family and eat what they ate; a very liberating and relaxing experience.

Oats, yogurt and fruit. Amazing.

The tranquility in my mind was the best part, however. I had given myself permission to eat “whatever,” and it was as if a huge weight was lifted; I realized that I had been really stressed without even knowing it. Probably part of the reason my diet “wasn’t working”.

The strangest part was that giving myself permission to eat made the foods I shouldn’t eat less appealing, not more. I didn’t want a huge piece of cake. Or ten sandwiches. Or chocolate. I just wanted to eat what I wanted to eat, and paying attention to my body while eating what I wanted led to eating when hungry, stopping when satisfied, and greater satisfaction overall.

So what now? I’m not sure. Without a stage to step on, new goals should be hashed out. New plans laid. I don’t operate well without a formula, and I know I need to make sure I keep tracking my food so that I don’t go overboard.

But in the meantime, I’m going to enjoy my breakfast. It’s going to be a good day.

Jen Wright is an RMT and the owner of Whole Therapy. She is an avid gym-goer and loves to lift heavy stuff. She sees clients of all ages and stages, especially those who are engaged in bettering themselves. She believes that pain-free is possible. For more about Jen, click here.

As a Holistic Nutritionist, Personal Trainer, And Yoga instructor, I am both fascinated and flattered that many of my clients will come forward believing I have all the answers. They believe within a couple appointments, their lives will be turned around. Learn a few tricks, pop a few supplements, and all their problems will be gone.

Unfortunately, this is not the case. Too often people are giving their power away and expecting to be able to undo years’ worth of poor choices once they invest in a few appointments with a healthcare practitioner or trainer.

It’s true, lasting change takes time; it’s hard work. If it wasn’t, we’d all have done it by now. It has taken me years to adopt a healthy lifestyle involving whole foods, regular exercise, restorative practices, and to develop intuition to know how to apply each of these and when. If there was a quicker route, I would have taken it myself. There are several more factors involved than simply the food we eat or the amount of exercise we do. When someone wants to make a significant change in their health and well being, there are many things to consider:

Do you have support?
It’s an inspiring thing to witness someone strive to make a difference in their life. They start packing a lunch for work, getting up extra early for that workout, or having the energy to climb the stairs instead of taking the elevator, and they start to radiate health. Although new, healthful habits should be commended by others, too often they are criticized. Being called a “health nut” nowadays almost feels like ridicule. You are coerced into sharing a pizza, or put down for not wanting to participate in a pub crawl in order to make it to the gym the next day. Unfortunately, people like to see people fail. But why? Likely, it’s because yourhealth habits make their own unhealthy ones all that more apparent. As you feel better, they feel worse. Be prepared for this!

It will be a challenge to stick to the plan to reach your goals when you don’t have supportive company. It may take a tough conversation on your part to communicate how their comments are affecting your progress or even separation from those who cannot be happy for your success.

” Honestly guys! I’m really okay with this broccoli instead”

Are you willing to say no?

Life will consistently test you as you try to walk a different path. Temptation will arise without question. Cake at an office party, buttered popcorn at the movies, cocktails at a friend’s gathering. Can you say no? Does saying no leave you feeling deprived or empowered? Can you continue to say no? For change to occur, consistency is key. Turning down one treat only to say yes to the next one does not serve you, either. Saying “no thanks” often enough slowly lets people know these indulgences aren’t for you. Acceptance will come. It’s like offering a vegetarian a steak every time you see them. They are never going to accept, so after a while, people stop asking. Say no, to be able to say yes to yourself.

Do you really want it?

Why do you want to make a change? Is your health at risk? Are your jeans too tight? Do you feel uncomfortable in your skin? Do you have digestion issues? Whatever your reason, are you willing to give it 100% effort to reach your goal? To feel better, are you willing to say no? Are you prepared for the reactions, both positive and negative from others? Will you stick to it no matter what life throws at you? If you answer no to any of these, ask yourself if you truly want it.

Change is tough, it takes hard work and dedication. Is it worth it? Without a doubt! You will have to reorganize your schedule, make the time to follow through with the plan and stick it out no matter what. You may miss out on a few social activities once in a while. You may not get to taste the 3 layer chocolate cake at your friend’s birthday or miss out on a few beers and chicken wings at the football game but it’s worth it! Being called a rabbit for having salad with protein as opposed to pasta with cream sauce? Worth it! All of this will be worth it when you feel the best you ever have. When your confidence is through the roof and your health is impeccable. When your skin is glowing, people will ask, “How did you do it?” Your answer, as you sip on your green smoothie will be, “Hard work. Plain and simple.” So be ready for the challenge, otherwise question if you truly want it. There is no other way.

Karen Yaworsky is a registered holistic nutritionist with Whole Therapy in addition to being a certified personal trainer and yogi. Karen believes that the wholeheartedly that taking care of your body through diet and exercise is the key to a happy, successful and rewarding life. More about Karen here

At Whole Therapy, we believe that two heads are better than one. Our team works together to help people: It’s simple.
Because one therapy is not always the one for everyone. We know that every body is different, and everyone has different goals, preferences, and timelines when it comes to their health and their bodies.