Every year I try to make it to the Garden as many times as I can to watch the Celtics play. Basketball, more so than any other sport in my opinion, is so much fun to watch in person. To be able to see first hand just how much bigger, stronger and faster these players are than us “normals” is the only way I think you can truly appreciate what happens night in and night out in the NBA.
My only problem with going to Celtics games, and maybe I’m the only one here, is the loud, obnoxious, drunk, “husky” women that always sit around me. It seems like every time I’m lucky enough to get tickets I have to deal with some duo (they’re usually in pairs or small concentrated groups) screaming and yelling in my ear about a sport/team that they don’t have a ******* clue about.
Here are some of the quotes I had to deal with last night, and before you go thinking that I’m an asshole I want you to know that these girls were so awful that a real american hero pelted them with a hot dog while screaming “Down in front!!”
(When reading these quotes make sure to do it in the worst drunk girl voice you can imagine, and then multiply it by 10)
“Newsflash! Kevin Durant is like really good soooo maybe you should guard him?
Newsflash, your voice makes me weigh just how badly I really need my ears.
“B. Bass is my boy!”
No, no he’s not. Please don’t call him that…
“Come on, Paulie!!”
In his entire career I’ve never heard Paul Pierce called Paulie.
******* you, Perk!! Haha Perk…” (Looks to her friend and smiles like a Troll that just came across an unaccompanied small child)
Get it, guys?! Perk(c), like the painkiller! How do they come up with this stuff?
“Rondo like never drives I don’t get it. It’s so easy for him to score every time, why doesn’t he just do that?”
Kill me now, please.
(After the hot dog was thrown at her because she was standing and screaming at the top of her lungs at a moment in the game that didn’t warrant standing or yelling of any kind) “Who threw that?! Probably some dick, but I don’t care. I’ll stand and you can all go **** your faces.”
At her state of inebriation, and unprecedented ********, that’s actually a pretty hilarious line, but she was being serious so it loses a lot of its luster.
On and on these two slam pigs went until one of them fell asleep in her seat. The other carried on as best she could, but it just wasn’t the same without her partner in crime. That didn’t stop her from booing at the top of her lungs during every Thunder foul shot, something that’s fine to do when you’re around the basket that’s being shot on or the rest of the people in your section are participating. Not ok when they are shooting on the other side of the arena and everyone in your row already wants to throw you over the railing.
You will be happy to know that her friend did wake up in time for the end of the game and for their inevitable diner crippling eating binge that would no doubt commence as soon as the game was over.
I have a lot of questions for these two: What did you pre game on that made you so annoying? Are you always like this? Do you think people like you/your actions? Has anyone ever laughed WITH you and not AT you? Does the chinese delivery man know you on a nickname basis?
But the questions I’d really love to ask them the most would just be, why?
I’m not saying that you need to be a guy, or even know a lot about whatever sport you’re watching, to cheer loud and proud. But when it’s clear that your entire section hates you, and you’re all fans of the same team, then it’s pretty clear that you’re in the wrong.
You don’t even have to be original, there was a guy a few rows behind me who simply kept telling Kevin Durant that he sucked at the top of his lungs. It was always well timed, and he didn’t over due it so I eventually found myself waiting and trying to time his next verbal assault.
Throughout all this yelling and hot dog throwing there was an actual game going on. A game that may have been a little closer than it should have been, but whenever you can beat the reigning Western Conference champs there’s no reason to split hairs. I noticed a lot of things while working on my self control, but first and foremost I’d like to talk about Jeff Green.
* Welcome to the party, Jeff! It was great to see you finally attack the basket with confidence. For the first time since KG told everyone he advised you to start playing like an asshole, you actually did. Even pounding your chest and staring out in to the crowd after finishing a layup and getting the foul call. Going 6-11 from the field is great, but it was the 5-5 from the foul line that was more important to me. Keep attacking the basket and good things will continue to happen. Also, if you want to crash the boards a little more you won’t hear any complaints from me. Last night was still nice to see and I hope it’s just the beginning.
* Kevin Garnett going for 18 points and 9 rebounds against the size and youth that the Thunder have is impressive. However, his +9 for the 32 minutes he was on the court is even better. Makes me think about this article and laugh.
* Jared Sullinger continues to get better. His 14 minutes last night were exactly what the Celtics need from him. Lots of energy, using up his fouls, scoring when the opportunity presents itself, but most importantly using his size and width to plug the middle. Between Sullinger and Wilcox, the Celtics have the pieces down low to keep the second unit athletic and not lose rebounds and defense down low.
* Kevin Durant is amazing to watch in person. Russell Westbrook is too, but half the time he looks out of control. Durant is constantly in control of his body and its truly a special thing to witness. To watch a 6’11 player move with, and without, the ball like a two guard is a once in a generation kind of thing.
* Serge Ibaka hitting that 16-18 footer with regularity spells big problems for the West.
* I hope that Celtics fans realize how special Paul Pierce has been throughout his career. I never thought he would last thing long at this level. At this point in his career, Pierce’s entire game is about getting an inch or two of space to get off a shot. He’s got confidence in his three point game, to go along with the mid range game that he has made his bread and butter of the years. His game is such that he could stick around for a few more years before we start to see any real drop off. As long as Pierce is on this team the Celtics can compete with the contenders. Same goes for Rajon Rondo, obviously, but Pierce’s importance will be heightened until Jeff Green proves that he can be an elite defender and score consistently against the leagues best wingmen. Two things we have come to expect from Paul Pierce on a nightly basis.

You'll
also
receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web.
Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

Company Info

Help

What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.