Things That Don't Make Sense

How I Feel At The Movie Theater

UT Cactus Yearbook 1981

Even before annoying ringtones and bright-screened smart phones, movie theaters could still be a wretched placed to spend two hours of your life. There were legs behind your seat that would kick you. Chatty people who didn’t know when to shut up. Babies. What moron brings a human under three years old to a movie theater? The late arrivals squeezing past you (and late means ANYONE ARRIVING AFTER 15 MIN PRIOR TO THE MOVIE). No arm room (the fella appears to be elbowing a man in plaid). The sound of popcorn being crunched in an adjacent person’s mouth. Slurping. And fart clouds. Always fart clouds.

Published by kerbey

Post navigation

12 comments

Fart. That’s it. As soon as I saw this picture I was perplexed as to why all 3 of these people looked so pained. Well notice that the two seats directly behind the kid are empty. Well it’s obvious. The kid farted. It ran the folks behind her off and her parents? are trying their hardest not to abandon the kid and run out into the lobby.

And no telling what she ate. Good use of deductive reasoning. We went to a play of Guys and Dolls earlier this year, and a woman next to us kept burping every few seconds for TWO HOURS, what my husband referred to as “bologna burps.” My olfactory senses are not that keen, but it was enough to make the head reel.