Wait, one more: I annihilated Mark Osborne. Yes, that sounds about right.

The lopsided score was made worse when Osborne refused to even submit a pick for the finals. This decision could best be compared to a bloodied boxer refusing to answer the bell for the final round, choosing instead to remain slumped and beaten in his corner.

And, like any respectful opponent in that situation, I charged across the ring and kept wailing on him anyways. As the only expert in the entire challenge to successfully nail the final round pick of Pens in seven, I turned an all-but-certain DGB victory into an epic blowout that small children will learn about in school for years to come.

The good news for Osborne: After seeing how he responded to adversity by rolling over and blatantly quitting, the Ottawa Senators have named him assistant captain.

In all seriousness, Osborne competed valiantly and managed to keep the score fairly close right up until the moment that the contest actually started. And he should feel nothing but pride in his performance.

After all, there can be no shame in losing to somebody who is clearly far smarter than you are.

10 comments:

I received some tough news this week. A lawyer informed me that I am being sued for 48 years of back child support.You see, as we learned over the past few months, I am Mark Osborne's daddy.GOLD!!Congrats DGB

DGB- Just FYI, there's something funny going on with the "All Heart" video on youtube. There's a new copy up with about 20k views, can't find the 900k view one anywhere. Seeing as half of LeafNation is waiting for your breakdown post, maybe you should secure a copy of it somehow?