I can't believe I'm posting here after all these years. So many memories of asking for technological assistance, discussing new content, and laughing at posts by Diiz and Tofubot. I guess it's kinda' late to say this, but I'm Malumultimus from Midgardsormr. I was a Red Mage and later Scholar who complained a lot and found myself at the center of a lot of drama and bitterly taking jabs at people who didn't always deserve it. I also helped a lot of newbies, but word of that doesn't get around often. I played from 2004-2009, was real life friends with Giovani, Jowwa and Nelberri, and my uncle was Tumbetombe/Deziel.

I guess I'm posting this because memories fade. I always used to say, losing my memories was my worst fear, but I never took a lot of pictures or kept a diary...and now I'm getting older and I can't remember people who used to mean a lot to me. So, at least now, if ever, I wanted to post this.

I used to take a lot of breaks. I'd play for 6 months, then quit for 6 months...it wasn't a big deal to me. I'm slow and lazy due to medical problems, and my conception of time is poor. So when I stopped playing in 2009, I didn't really think it was the end. However, in January 2010, I found myself unable to return to the game due to money issues. And honestly, at first I was relieved...this game was so addicting and so many of my friends had left already...and in 13,000 hours of play time, I had accomplished so little and left a number of bad impressions...I thought, it was for the best. So Midgar died, Abyssea changed FFXI into an entirely new game, Adoulin was released, and the finale of it all with Rhapsodies finally showing us the Far East, even if just a little bit.

While the game changed so much, I played other games for 3 years or so and it didn't feel that long...but then I finally got off my *** and got a job. That was almost 4 years ago and it feels like 4 months. So when I finally worked up the energy to dig my PS2 out and try reactivating my account, it was Valentine's Day, 2016. 6 years and 8 months since I quit...surely everyone still plays? Lol...I didn't really think that. But I didn't expect a server of 300 silent people of whom only six I recognize, and the two from my friend's list being bought accounts.

It shouldn't have, but it hit me hard. I should probably type this NOT on my phone, but I want to just get it over with. For the past couple weeks, I've been trying to solo to 99 and at least do two or three things I always regretted not doing. And every night, I search the server by letter in hopes of finding a familiar lost soul like myself, but to no avail. My PS2 struggles and crashes over and over again, but I just want to be here when the PS2/360 servers shut down...I loved this game too much to just disappear again. I dunno...I guess I always just thought I could boot it up and come back like no time had passed. I'm such an idiot. I'm not going to lie...I breakdown four or five times a day just thinking about how real and...gone...it all really is. Crying like a loser won't bring it all back...I wish it would. I'd give the last 7 years of my life for just one day like old times.

One day where DarmWearsPinkUndies pearls are given to everybody...I'll never forget, "Afrothunder! Vrtra will tremble at your name," and, "Don't think of them as the Binfens, but the BinFRIENDS!" I actually "dated" Cbinfeng. "Wo ai ni," I was told to say.

One day going 0/34 on an NM, wiping on my orb, having all my stuff stolen from me, and my HDD melting. One day where it takes me 27 seconds to zone. One day where PuroCP, Assani and Shatter all break. One day where I turn down some new End-game LS called VitalStatistics because they wouldn't take my static, and then getting kicked from Chance and my static staying with them.

One day where Compton makes another LS just to scam people. I'd join it, even. One day where Diamondkitty thinks a Haidate is a hat. One day of spamming /kneel to get good drops from HNMs.

One day where Snowflake and Tsoravan disappear before my eyes, and I never find out what happened to them. One day listening to Chronis talk about his problems. One day of Pcsweetheart sitting in Lower Jeuno, with Northstar cheering on Draxyle in the background.

One day of turning people into Red Mages. One day of Converting and dying in the Dunes. One day of throwing both my Morion and Phantom Tathlums. One day of farming for Phalanx, until Matsi just gives me the gold and then my static is more impressed by Gio's Haubergeon... One day of arguing with Mercy and Tatiana about how Red Mage should be played...and then SE agreeing with them.

One day of Akillies and Eisely breaking my heart. One day of MTing a lewd tell. One day of hanging out with a GM, watching JPs hold Behemoth. One day of history lessons from Grunion. One day of singing Spice Girls in shout. One day of coming to Limbus as SCH/SAM.

One day where Gio goes afk and then drives to my house to talk about what crazy **** just happened. One day catching up with Pivnic. One day of being prude to Soulmoon and Faelyn. One day of being yelled at by Fowlynn and Manwe. One day laughing my *** off with Vasquez and Diabolic. Why are Tarus so gross? One day finding out most Ogs are cool. One day of forming an LS of 20 people to camp Stroper Chyme, argue with Capcom and hit on Babys. One day of Coldlionfish camping Amemet.

One day where a stranger takes me to the Gusgen Mines and tells me its lore. One day where Sondevil and Ryarianna prevent me from leaving the Diorama. One day of Falconcc getting revenge for that Relic lot...maybe? Or triong Carby Mitts and trading Elvaan/Hume racist jokes. Whichever he prefers. One day where Gabera kills everyone, nods at me and lets me live...even after all these years, I'm still not that cool.

One day listening to Rewbix talk.

One day of farming subjob items. One day of Promyvions. One day of farming testimonies. One day of mining Ifrit's Cauldron; selling my ore to Palrim. One day of level 1 races to Jeuno. One day of signing a subligar for someone you care about. One day of Taru dancing, Tofubot macros, misusing the auto-translator, and JP ONRY fuidama orz wwwww

One day of Assaults with Aska and Kali, or Dyarmus and Nebulafish. One day of Nyzul Isle with Dag. One day accidentally breaking Myrnim's LS. One day of claiming Simurgh from Jameson and Theconquerer. One day of trioing Serket and afking to make the gil sellers think it hasn't popped yet. One day of camping Roc with Strike and Tetsuo: "Not up it yet!" One day of taking Mother Globe from a group that's wiping, because they have Dalmaticas and I don't...

One day browsing forums. One day of GM Dave. One day of Vrtra's MySpace page. One day watching Meeting Again. One day reading Meeting Again Redux.

One day where Kamugi tells me to go kill myself and Ogwillow calls me a nobody. One day where Biglos and Jagg try to MPK me and I embarrass myself trying to insult Fynd and Nichael even though they were nothing but nice to me. One day where everyone's being used by Tanzel. One day where Justanotherface tells everyone I hate him, when I never did. I'd accept it all...

...but one day isn't enough. 5 years weren't enough. I'm editing this post to fix all the typos you'd expect at 2AM typing on your phone through teary eyes, but I'm not adding more stuff. I could. I could spend weeks talking on and on...Biglos's bazaar comment, how everyone used to put their food in their search comment, getting killed/slept on a Chocobo in Yuhtunga, "Go win the big game for me," every nickname like Bagodicks or Mighty Misses or Malumoptimusprimeorsomething...but I'm not here to chronicle a person, server or game. The beginning of the game asks you not to forget your friends, your family, your school or your work; I'm here to ask you not to forget us.

The World Serpent is a symbol of rebirth; immortality. I've thought about FFXI every day for the past 12 years, whether I played or not. This is why I was hit so hard...because FFXI hasn't changed one bit in my memories. SE will kick me off my PS2 at the end of the month, but nothing will change. Midgardsormr and FFXI will never die as long as you remember them. And so I try, to forgive and ask for forgiveness; and in spite of all the names without faces and faces without names, gaps in time and loss of space, maybe with a post like this, to remember.

I'm glad that I’m not the only one who wanders back to this forum on occasion.

What a wonderful read, and I think so many from our long deceased server (long live Forum=48) would echo many of your sentiments. I’ve found myself in the same boat, every 6-12 months I’ll resub for a little while, enjoy the nostalgia, and go back to whatever I was doing before. Inevitably the itch returns, and I come back, well.... after the 8-10 hour update. :p

I really should gather all of my screenshots spread across difference hard drives and put one album together.

Whenever I think back to my time in XI, (or forward, as I resubbed on Tuesday and spent the last two evenings levelling classes from 25-35 in Delkfutt’s tower.) I think of a certain quote from another Final Fantasy title: “My best memories are here. Wakka, Captain of the Aurochs.” and find that it sums up how I feel about the time I logged into XI very well. I’ve spent no small amount of time between 2007 and now in other MMOs: WoW, EVE, SWTOR, FFXIV and while each of them are wonderful titles in their own way, I don’t think that any other game will captivate me as this one did.

We also had, without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest forum community as far as I’m concerned. Frankly I might have enjoyed our forums as much, sometimes more, than in the game itself. **** I just spent the last hour scrolling through the Midgard forums, and there’s no shortage of nostalgic gold in there.