Next Time, At Least Bring Wine

At a Glance

It promts, "Tell people a little about yourself." Cards on the table...I have Bipolar...in spades! I also have this cat I love. An orange tabby named Richard Parker (lifted from the novel and movie "Life of Pi.") I mention him first because he loves me, and I love him with an unconditional love. He is wonderful therapy, and often knows what is going on with me before I do. I have a beautiful son, and a husband who is a minister, currently serving as a chaplain for a hospice organization. I'm into this adult coloring. I am always reading. Novels, comics, magazine articles, devotionals and the Bible. I listen to books as well. I love my Kindle Fire. I'm a caretaker for my mom. That one is a long story that will unfold here. I adore song birds and beautiful colored birds. I love zoos and aquariums. Museums, too. However, I have many physical issues holding me back now. That story will be another that unfolds. I love water. So glad I live near a river. Oceans, waterfalls, rain, and I even visited Niagara Falls, flying overhead in a helicopter. I did the latter with a dear friend who I eventually ended up losing because of a crappy manic spell, during which I was apparently a crummy person and friend. That has happened a lot. I think I'm getting better about that because I'm opening up more. I'm working on becoming more vulnerable, transparent and real. This has scared people off, but the ones who stay around, those lovlies have been solid friendships for years.
"Tell people a little about yourself" it prompts. There isn't anything little about me. Even when I was a kid, young, "little" girl, so much lurking, menacing. I think I've been Bipolar forever. I wasn't diagnosed until 2004, however. This was after a terrible manic, psychotic breakdown. In front of my husband. In front of my three year old son. In all of my life, I'll never know what that did to them.
This blog will have two authors. Hopefully three. Depressed, Hypo/Manic. And the third is the self who tries to remain stable, level and walking the line. I hope to share something that might help someone. I look forward to talking with folks, if they so wish. I want people to become educated. I've got a lot I want to do, and I'm sure this will become more and more tailored.
Thanks if you decide to join me in the this journey. Let's survive both the fear and excitement of the BP Roller Coaster.

I don’t even feel bad. Was fun. I needed to relax and hang out with just me, myself and I. Many of you know that with Bipolar, that last bit can be dangerous, but today was great.

Now, on to a new project.

Take care of yourselves and each other, guys. ✌💛🙏

NOT TODAY ~ 8.9.18

So, I have read that some people with Bipolar, Depression and other mental health issues are in practice of applying makeup, making sure hair looks nice, using lovely scents of perfume and fragrant lotions (I don’t know where guys fit into this) often times feel better throughout the day and get more done. I’ve been trying it.

I’ll keep trying and let you know long term. Take care of yourselves and others. 💛🙏✌

When Enough Is Enough ~ 8.6.18

So, in helping my teenage son work through some issues with his friends, I’ve come to realize I need to do a little cleaning house myself.

My son is very kind to his friends and enjoys going out with them, and often times, he pays for their lunch, for example. However, later, we begin to notice that he’s the only one who has done this three weeks in a row. When he texts them, they don’t respond, and he knows they are online because he sees them clear as day on social media.

Therefore, his therapist and I are working with him to be sure he’s not taken advantage of and not used. We’re helping him recognize his true friends, and he’s feeling better because he’s not wondering why his “friends” use him, why his “friends” don’t chat with him unless “they” feel like chatting, etc type matters.

So, of course, one important key in parenting (at least for this household) is my son generally doesn’t follow our advice alone just because we verbalize it, but tends to follow it more when he sees that we are doing the same. When I give him advice about a friend who only talks with him on text when the friend wants to talk, and this friend doesn’t care if my kid is wanting to chat a bit one day, and my son says to me, “Well, you allow ______ to do the same thing to you,” that’s when I know it’s time to do some heavy lifting and dump said toxic “friend.” I’ll admit that it is extremely difficult to sever ties when you think you’re talking about potential lifelong relationships – fun, laughter, shared tears, lifting one another up when the other is down – but sometimes, enough is enough.

I’m working on my, “Goodbye, You Hurt Me But I Forgive You,” letters that my therapist recommended writing, which remain with me until I burn them and let the baggage go. Some are for people long gone. Some are for people still around physically, but not emotionally and spiritually.

And it should be included, this kind of toxicity affects both mental and physical health, to be sure.

Treating Others *Feels* Grand ~ 8.5.18

I woke in severe pain today. A little more than usual. One thing I can say that is good for both my physical and emotional pain is helping others, loving on others. Today, despite my pain, I took my mom and son to see a movie. Their smiles, jokes and laughs were quite worth the added discomfort.

Anxiety Relief Tips ~ 8.3.18

“Like misdirected letters and packages at the post office, the neurons made from bipolar disorder patients also differed in how they were ‘addressed’ during development for delivery to certain areas of the brain.”