And suddenly I move up into a new age category on most surveys. I actually can now get the Senior discount at some fine dining establishments like Dennys and Ihop – heh. My body won’t stop reminding me the number of times I have circled the sun thanks to gravity either.

Happy birthday to me!

I won’t lie, there is a feeling of ambivalence yet at the same time the usual optimism because it is my birthday and I am fifty five…and very much alive! Inspired by photographer Justin Hackworth, I decided to attempt a new photo project which includes a little bit of personal navel gazing – 55 self portraits to represent me at 55. Justin is right, this can be a challenge. But in that challenge I see me as I turn 55 – and, if you will indulge me, so do you.

It’s a whole different lens you look through the older you get. ~ Andre Agassi

You know, before we got a diagnosis that explained it all and more, and before we began the daily injections of human growth hormones.

Well if you can recall those good times then you just might understand one of the reasons why I love this moment captured yesterday.

You know, besides the obvious fact that I adore these three people so much. This would be 15 year old Uncle Daniel, all five feet of him, standing next to his nieces; Hazel, turning 9 in 4 months and 5 years old Fallon. And although we are all very well aware that his nieces will likely pass him in height soon enough, because Hazel is currently the tallest student in her third grade, we all are very pleased with this moment.

I also have mad love for this shot because all three of them are getting along standing together and smiling. Given that this is Daniel, Hazel and Fallon, that might be an even bigger deal.

Beyond my circus life, I’m not so sure about this year. 2016 was awfully harsh and stormy and blustery and a little bit dark…with even darker dark looming up ahead. But under The Big Top, 2016 was a pretty good year and a good time with a lot of love, light, laughter and hope.

Can’t lie. November I am so glad to see you gone. Sure, we had some moments; but all in all, November you were much too harsh.

Sigh!

Every time someone suggests that I just need to get over it and accept that that man and the ilk he has surrounded himself with will be leading our country I will gladly pull up their timeline over the last EIGHT YEARS on social media. Twenty-three days later and it just feels all the more frightening to imagine that this is really real.

Twenty-three really is lovely!

So is five.

Still November, you were mostly awful. I will say goodbye choosing to focus on the brief moments of good rather than all the gray haired times that you have wrought.