Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Well, the semester ends in 14 days. And I love this fact. And I hate it.

Lets start with the reason I hate it, because thats the reason I don't want to dwell on for to long, there are other reasons for this blog post. I HATE HATE HATE that the semester is ending, because with the end of the semester, comes the deployment :( Jeff and I have to say our dreaded "goodbye for now" the day before I take my final. Talk about crappy timing right!? Nothing like being emotional drained from saying goodbye to the love of your life, and then having to go take a stupid final! CRAP!

Anyways, enough of the sad..Time to start focusing on the good! Otherwise the next year is going to be a really dark and depressing time. So here are the reasons I LOVE that the semester is ending!

1) it sucked. really really bad.2) I get 2 weeks with NO SCHOOL and NO WORK!3) I plan on working hard on Jeff's military scrapbook and Cain's baby scrapbook :)4) I want to read 2 books. (Not sure which 2 yet)5) I get to see a friend in Illinois who I haven't seen since my wedding (almost a year)6) I get to see a friend who I haven't seen for a couple months!7) most importantly, I get to spend everyday with my sweet little baby without having to take him to the babysitter or worry about schoolwork. We get to just spend quality time together :)

Needless to say, my break before fall semester starts, is going to be just the distraction ( i hope) from the fact that my family will be missing a very important member!

Friday, July 23, 2010

I'm trying to get better at blogging, and by doing that, I am going to participate in something I've seen a lot of the fellow Milspouses do on their blogs...so here we go!

1. Besides the horizontal mambo, what do you miss most when your spouse is deployed?

Well, I haven't had a deployment yet...that happens in 16 days :( But when he was at BCT and AIT I missed EVERYTHING. I missed our late night talks while laying in bed, I miss being silly with him, I missed the fact he ALWAYS knows how to calm me down when I'm stressed, and I most certainly missed his hugs..

2. What do you miss least?

Well, since there wasn't anything that I really didn't miss..I'll pick something lame. I didn't miss him nagging me about squeezing the toothpaste in the middle ;)

3. You only get three crayons to finish your picture...which three do you choose and why?

I choose ORANGE, LIME GREEN and YELLOW. I love everything vibrant and bold.

4. If you could have your own fragrance, what would it be called?

This is tough... I think I would want something like "Free"...I'm all about being a free spirit..

5. If the shoes make the man (or woman), what do your shoes say about you right now?

I'm not wearing shoes, which I think goes with the whole "free spirit" thing..and it says that its to freaking hotttttttt to wear shoes!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Well, sorry it has been so long since I blogged...Hopefully you all aren't losing interest in my blog..I promise to do better! There just isn't much new here these days right now...in about 3 weeks that will change..

Little mister is growing like a weed- I can't believe that on Friday he will be 1 month old already! that just blows my mind!! Its amazing how much you adapt and life changes when you become a mom. I now do a lot more things one handed since little mister is a snuggler. Even taking a trip to the grocery store is a new experience...everything is different, but not in a bad way. He is starting to "coo" quite a bit now, and I just love it. He is so curious and is always bright eyed and looking around, taking in everything he sees. I think he's going to be an adventurous boy when he's older....

Otherwise not much is new, just working towards the end of the semester...I take my final the day after Jeff leaves...talk about emotional stress overload! This semester has been especially hard for many reasons. 1) its summer and they always move QUICKLY! 2) I had a baby in the middle of the semester 3) The material is way more challenging 4) the staff hasn't been the best 5) I'm not emotionally 100% like I should be!

I'm still working on coming to terms with how I'm going to do all this while Jeff is gone, but he has reassured me multiple times it will all be ok..He is just so sweet <3

I guess the only other remotely new thing is that I have everything all set, and I go back to work right after Labor Day..That gives me and the little one about 4 weeks to get settled and adjust to not having Jeff around before I add even more to our lives and head back to work! I definitely miss my co-workers, but I remember how stressful work can get..and I don't miss that part! But it will be another thing to keep me busy and distracted while my honey is gone!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Friday, July 9, 2010

One Month.Thats all the time left until Jeff leaves for his deployment. And its consuming me. All I can think about is how I want to spend every second of every day with him, but thats impossible when he is working 6:30-5 Tuesday through Friday, and I am spending my weekends at clinicals from 7-3:30. I feel like I'm wasting all this time that I should be spending with him and with Cain.

Its been really hard for me to handle actually. I sit and think about all the hours in the next month that I'm spending away from my husband. And then I try and take the positive spin and think about how worth it all of this will be a year from now. A Year from now when Jeff will be home from deployment, I will be done with nursing school, and our life can finally "begin".

But in the meantime, I'm consumed with trying to wrap my brain around "How am I going to do this!?" I am not 100% dependent on Jeff, but I do rely on him a lot. Simple things that he takes care of around the house make all the difference, and when he walks in the door and smiles at me, or hugs me, or when we are holding hands and he'll just squeeze my hand for no reason at all...I rely on those things. And I won't get those things while he is gone. And I don't know how I'll manage without them. For crying out loud, I could barely handle the 17 weeks he was away for BCT and AIT...but 52 weeks?! Seriously? I may just lose my sanity.

I suppose I'll probably spend more of my time writing down my feelings, documenting this experience. I'll write him everyday, and sleep with my phone by my head again, on the loudest ring possible. I finally just got used to putting my phone away at night, because he is here, and now I will have to go back to that constant state of anxiety and paranoia about missing any message or phone call from him. *sigh* oh the life of an army wife.

I know, that at the end of this year, I will be a much stronger person, and my relationships strength will have increased immensely, but knowing that doesn't always make the struggles easier. I also know that Heavenly Father wouldn't deal me more than I can handle, so I just need to continue to put my faith in knowing that I CAN DO THIS--or else He wouldn't have dealt me this experience.

"Sometimes you have to be away from the people you love. This doesnt make you love them less, sometimes it makes you love them more"

Friday, July 2, 2010

AH! I have seriously slacked in the blogging world!!! I have so many blogs to catch up and read! I have missed you all! AND HELLO HELLO to my new followers :)

Where should I start?! Motherhood...wonderful! My precious little man is just so wonderful! I can't even describe it :) I'm very grateful for this little blessing in my life. And I have truely enjoyed watching Jeff interact with his son..I can tell you, there is no greater feeling than sitting on the couch next to Jeff admiring our son :) I'm going to really miss that while Jeff is deployed :/

Between diaper changes, feedings, burpings and being a "housewife" I'm still working hard at my nursing classes! I went to clinicals less than 72 hours after delivering! WHOA! Talk about pure exhaustion at the end of that weekend...I've been tired before, but that was a WHOLE NEW LEVEL!!! I'm really enjoying what I'm learning right now (coincidently its been the unit about care of a pregnant woman and newborn!) and I love learning new skills at the hospital each weekend for clinicals!

This weekend we are off to St Louis to see all the family and have little man's baby blessing!! Hoping its a smooth weekend and that everybody can get along!

About Me

I'm Jen. I am 22 years old, married, a new mother, and working my way through nursing school. I can't wait to be done with school and be in the "real world"...if there is such a thing. My husband is in the National Guard, so technically I'm considered an "army wife" although I don't think of myself as one.. He is serving his first deployment--and it hasn't been easy. There are definetly good days and there are BAD days! I can't wait for him to come home to me and our child!