2Lips2TellU...about a toilet joke gift...'Flushable Fun'.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Well, I'm back with Flushable Fun, the toilet joke gag gift invention. It may seem odd that this particular blog page has been static for so long. This is because I was working on creating a new blog page with a more dynamic styling for Flushable Fun...only I didn't know what the heck I was doing or how to integrate it with this blog. It sure is pretty, but apparently not as popular as there is no traffic. The weird thing is that literally THOUSANDS of you have been dropping in HERE, then coming back, despite my own seeming disinterest! Thank you...I appreciate your determination to light a fire under me. Not that I haven't been busy since my last post...though, to be honest, no matter what nightmarish scenarios I may describe here, no matter how true or heartfelt, it all seems like what it is...excuses. Bottom line...I couldn't figure out how to actually sell my Flushable Fun here.

If I could have found a way to make a buck from my invention I would have surfaced from the abyss somehow. Sure, I could monetize my blog, have a bunch of ads running through here, but what I really want is to let you folks BUY the product via this blog. I don't want to rhapsodize endlessly about how funny and wonderful and exciting Flushable Fun is...I want to SELL the product! Naturally, our blog host is not going to make that easy. Nowhere do they even suggest such a possibility. For the last two years I've been trying to get a free blog to act like a website. This was a crazy thought a couple of years ago but I've been studying the social media marketing thing and have found other blogs that actually now sell their products from the blogspot! I am giddy with hope! This is the last hurdle before success is ours! I've found folks who are willing to let me in on their secret...for a price! Now, I may be slow, but I'm not an idiot. There is nothing I can't learn for free. The problem is the amount of time it takes. Time is a valuable commodity. In fact, the new blogger setup is very web-like, with better templates and landing pages and tabs and categories and picture possibilities.

As for Flushable Fun, I've had all my supplies in stock awaiting the very instant I get a method to make a sale and receive the remuneration. I've got a PayPal account, so I'm going to simply ask them what to do. There is a method of making payments via email, but that seems so, I don't know...amateurish? I want a bunch of clicky buttons for you to choose your method of payment, just like on a website. Some day, I may get that website, too.

Believe it or not, I've taken a course in web design. What a waste of time and money! The instructor chose Joomla as the platform. Beautiful to behold, but not intuitive in the least. You have to read HUNDREDS OF PAGES of how to do everything before you start, then if you make a mistake you have to initiate a support ticket and be prepared to wait for help. If I was a corporation then yes...spend the money on a professional-looking site...but for a humourous gift idea? I think NOT. Almost every other web host on the planet has simple, intuitive click-through free web designs that are remarkably similar to creating these blog pages! And the backend is easier to edit, too, like blogs. The Joomla backend is beyond complicated. They insist it is so easy a complete neophyte can manage to work the front- and backends. I believe they have forgotten what it is like to have only a spotty, incomplete knowledge of how things work in the real world. We are not all techies here...hello! Once in a while a light shines through the darkness but that is about it.

We don't really push ourselves to learn new things until we have to because there is a certain level of comfort at feeling adept with the little we do know. For an example, a few years back I was extremely adept at Corel Draw for graphic design. Then, for some reason, Corel Draw fell into disfavour...probably because a new toy came along...and I got tired of paying for upgrades to an old programme. Graphic design is nice to know, and I once received an award for a logo, but it is not something I need in my skillset unless I'm looking for a job...which I'm not. I don't have time for a job unless it is one I create for myself. I was a bookkeeper for 15 years. Stick a fork in me, I'm done with being bored!

Monday, June 2, 2008

This blog premiers an outrageously funny toilet gag called 'FLUSHABLE FUN' that will have the recipient laughing until s(he) leaks. This is a perfect gift for a divorce party, a friend who is finally ditching that loser you've never liked, or anyone who has problems with a snarly boss, the office nincompoop who got the promotion you deserved, an evil neighbour, cheating boyfriend or girlfriend, the drunk uncle who ruined the wedding reception, a fellow student who ripped off your essay idea then got a better mark than you, and many other problematic relationships. See below for details, then take the poll on the right. It would be great (for ME) if you follow the links to eBay and buy my scandalously outrageous toilet gag gift. Once I create my own webpage, you will be able to purchase 'Flushable Fun' directly ... but, for now, it's eBay. Click this link to order:

Because of the nature of this blog entry, I expect you'll see AdSense ads for toilets, plumbers, home renovation, humour, and so on. Once in a while, I'll shake things up for you and the advertisers by introducing other topics, for example: environmental issues, gardening, or home renovation. I may feature some of my handcrafted products, like: lush seduction pillows, stained glass garden stones using my original designs (I'll try to get a slideshow of these for that blog post), my hand beaded gazebo chandeliers, health and wellness ideas ... whatever strikes my fancy.

I have a special interest in allergy-free recipes ... my child is allergic to so many things I've had to learn to be creative in the kitchen. Some are my own invention, some are known recipes that I have altered to be free of specific foods, herbs, spices, and sauces. I plan to sell my special recipes on eBay for $1.00 each. My child's (lengthy!) food allergy list is so common, her allergist keeps photocopies on hand for new patients.

Please feel free to leave a comment. I'd like to know what others think or feel about the things I write about, and I enjoy feedback about my creation, 'Flushable Fun'.

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'FLUSHABLE FUN' photo of installed product

Outrageously funny toilet humour gag gift I created.

'FLUSHABLE FUN' ... a really funny toilet humour gag product.

READY ... AIM ... FIRE!'FLUSHABLE FUN' ... a toilet humour product ... is self-explanatory, but here is the gist anyway. 'FLUSHABLE FUN' provides a sense of satisfaction to those with relationship problems: divorce, an evil neighbour, a cheating boyfriend/girlfriend, a crabby boss, the drunk uncle who ruined the wedding reception, the office nincompoop who got the promotion YOU deserved, the fellow student who stole your essay idea then got a better mark than you did, the meddling mother-in-law ... the list of scandalous or outrageous relationship problems can go on ... and on!

The product: 'FLUSHABLE FUN' is a re-positionable tombstone transparency that affixes to the underside of a raised toilet lid. The gravestone image can be customized with the offending party's name. Included with the gravestone image is a set of 'FLUSHABLE FLOATERS' ... small squares of special biodegradeable paper bearing the image of the 'evil one', either generic, or customized with a photo you provide via e-mail .... that float on the surface of the toilet bowl water.

The conception: 'FLUSHABLE FUN' was created in a moment I can only describe as (ahem) pure genius. A relative was going through an acrimonious divorce and told me that if the offending party were to die, he would do something inappropriate on her grave ... heheheh. I extrapolated the idea into a product that I sell on-line. A picture is worth a thousand words, so look at the pic provided.

Note: The 'Flushable Floaters' can include some fairly creative language ... your choice ... up to 25 words. 'Flushable Floaters' create less mass than similar-sized toilet tissue and will not clog septic systems ... but you can't use them AS toilet tissue ... unless you don't mind the ink residue.

Storage: In the event you buy 'Flushable Fun', the gravestone transparency can be removed and stored on waxed paper when children or others visit ... then re-affixed to the back of a raised toilet lid when they leave. It may be re-positioned many times over.

Ordering: I'm working on a website for sales with a paypal checkout feature. For the time being, 'FLUSHABLE FUN' is available by snail mail and email...by posting a comment requesting more information on pricing etc., I will contact you privately. 'Comments' regarding possible transactions will not be publicly posted here. Only general comments discussing the blog posts are made publicly available.

Pricing: You can order the cheaper generic kit which includes the tombstone transparency, a letter-transfer sheet with a rub-on tool, and a set of 6 generic 'flushable floaters' ... a REAL STEAL!

Upgrade: You may upgrade to the customized printed version. The upgrade includes the name of the offending party on the gravestone image, and the photo image of the person (provided by you via e-mail) and your choice of 'captions' printed on the (set of 12) 'flushable floaters'. Honestly ... the customized version provides a greater 'customer experience', but the generic one can be just as funny if you are happy to use the letter transfer sheets yourself and look at generic 'evil one' images floating in your toilet bowl. Whatever floats your boat. BTW ... the image on the flushable floaters is NOT me ... I'm not evil-looking enough for that job. Hint: I DO know the 'Evil One' in person. Heheh.

Under Construction: I'm working on creating other tombstone images...from ghoulish to elegant. Check back here for progress updates!

'FLUSHABLE FUN' is the perfect vicarious revenge to displace some pent-up frustration ... it is also the perfect gift for a friend who is FINALLY ditching the loser you never liked anyway. The 'FLUSHABLE FUN' gift kit, a couple of sips of 'fruit punch', the movie 'Dirty Love' (or other 'relationship' comedy), a couple more sips of punch, a trial-run of your 'gift', and that's a PARTY! You'll end up ROFLYAO. Vicarious revenge can be sweeeeet!