Freakie-Deakies Need Love, Too

We've been making drinking games for over a year now, but we've managed to skirt around a major nostalgia bank: old Disney movies.

Believe me, this was done on pure accident. After all, what better way to mix childhood and adulthood pleasures than by playing a drinking game to movies made by the most popular animation studio of all time? Especially now, since they seem to be heading towards another renaissance? Disney's past three animated films ("Tangled", "Wreck-it-Ralph" and newly crowned Oscar winner "Frozen") have all showcased the new life being breathed into the studio and let us know that Disney's back to writing good stories and taking chances again.

Today we're looking at the studio's fourth effort, "Dumbo", a movie made with extrodinary creativity and care. A masterwork of animation, composition and storytelling. A hotbed of racism and upholder of negative stereotypes.

"Is There a Drink for, like, Totally Obnoxious?"

We've covered a fair amount of movie musicals here on For Your Inebriation, and there's a reason for that. In the mid-2000's, the genre went through a bit of a renaissance. Due to the success of movies such as Moulin Rouge and Chicago, the industry suddenly realized that there was still a market for a big, flashy, highly-choreographed movie where we get to see our favorite movie stars sing (or try to). So dozens of musicals on Broadway were adapted to the big screen, with honestly mixed results. For every Chicago, there was a Rent.

One of the more successful adaptations was the movie we're drinking to this week: Hairspray. Based on a musical which was based off a movie, it's a beautiful example of the fun, pop schlock that came out around that time. Its bright colors, catchy songs, and inspirational quotes left teenagers and adults alike dancing in the aisles. Also, this movie brought us John Travolta in drag, and that is just the gift that keeps on giving.

But is there any substance under all this style? Did this movie deserve to be the smash hit it was? Welcome to the 60's. It's time to get your drink on.

"I Feel Like Louise Bourgeois is Orgasming Somewhere."

Well, it's November. Halloween has come and gone, but the memories and the hangovers still remain. Maybe you stuffed your face with candy, or maybe you drowned your sorrows in liquor. Or maybe you didn't do a thing because Halloween was on a Thursday this year and dammit, you had work in the morning. What, does everyone expect you to forsake your good health for some cheap thrills and a costume contest or two? You're a busy guy.

Not to worry, friend, because that's what holiday weekends are for (or any weekend, really). And there are few better ways to celebrate Halloween than by watching The Nightmare Before Christmas. A beautiful labor of love, this stop-motion classic was beloved by many creepy children who grew up in the 90's. With its catchy songs, its breathtaking animation and its unique take on Halloween AND Christmas, it earns its title as a holiday staple.

Perhaps you don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe you've never seen this movie, but wondered what the fuss was about. If you haven't, it's about time you've begun.

This Game will Curl Your Hair

There are currently two movie versions of the hit Broadway musical “Annie”, with a third in production starring Quvhenzhane Wallis as the title character. I totally want to play this game with the upcoming remake, but some attention should be paid to the very first (and what looks to be the very worst) adaptation. Made in 1982, this “Annie” is the very definition of cheeseball. At least, that’s what you come away remembering. With several songs that were made just for the movie, some hamtastic performances by children and adults alike, and a fuzzy understanding of what translates well from stage to screen, this movie manages to split critics right down the middle in terms of its merit. However, upon watching it again, we rediscovered some pretty dark storytelling elements, as well as some incredibly dated conventions, and we can proudly say…we’re still pretty split. Some aspects of this movie are marvelous. Some make you want to gouge your eyes out. It’s your standard three star movie. What this movie does have plenty of is heart, and some serious effort went into its creation. A lot of it does NOT pay off. That’s where the alcohol comes in. At least you know that you’ve got a great drinking buddy in Ms. Hannigan.

Yes. This is the Good One.

This movie was made in 1971.

I know, right? We could barely believe it ourselves. It doesn't feel like a 70's movie. I'm sure if you sat down and analyzed it stylistically, you could tie it into the 70's very nicely. The psychadelic style, the pacing, the portrayal of children and family. I believe it. But something about this movie makes it feel much...

The argument continued for a minute or so, when it dawned on me exactly what was happening.

"Guys," I said. "We're watching a timeless movie."

Willy Wonka has survived its era, and continues to be present in young people's minds as a movie worth watching. But what exactly elevates the film from quirky kids movie to family classic? We investigated the movie with plenty of booze in tow, because as Mr. Wonka is quick to remind us, "candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."

"Jesus!" "No, Moses!"

Chances are you have something to celebrate this week! This Sunday is Easter Sunday, and Passover has been observed during the past few days. These major holidays should be spent with family, observing your faith, and pigging out on Cadbury eggs and matzah. You know, the finer things in life.

But you know a little part of you wants to sneak away after all the festivities, get some ceremonial wine and call your besties to indulge in a little blasphemous activity. We won't judge you. That's the Lord's job. We're just here to provide structure to your shenanigans, and make sure your drunken escapades are clean and wholesome. And what's more clean and wholesome than the Old Testament?

"Does Anybody Here Have a Gun? Will You Shoot Me?"

We all loved Rent once. In high school, when we were first learning about musical theater, we were all drawn to its strong emotional undercurrents, its modern themes, its "screw you" attitude towards establishment and its support of Bohemian culture and anarchy. When we're all older, we thought, when we all become artists, we'll be just like them.

We did grow up. We grew up in a very different time. And we realized, not only are the ideals of Jonathan Larson's musical slightly suspect, not only are his characters straddling the line between three-dimensional and cardboard, but the feature length film based on his work sucks donkey balls. Now that we're working as hard as we can to put food on our table AND make art that we believe in, we can look objectively at this piece, see beyond the idealistic fog and examine the portrayal of "La Vie Boheme" that we fell in love with.

"Do You Know the Way to the Great Valley?"

There's one scene that all of you remember from this movie: Littlefoot's mother dies after fending off a gigantic Tyrannosaurus Rex during an earthquake. It's one of the saddest animated movie deaths of all time, and it's not even Disney produced.

Did you know there's a PLOT? And really cool characters? And deep spiritual undertones?

I remembered the first fifteen minutes of this movie, the ending, and not much else. What gives? Speaking for our merry band, it's not that we forgot the details of this movie. We repressed them.

"Oh, We're in Trouble..."

I made this game way too difficult.

It had to happen at some point, and I'm kind of glad it happened with this movie. The Goonies is loud, it's raucous, it's constantly moving, it's everything a good adventure should be. That being said, we got drunker than One-Eyed Willy on the day he christened his ship.

I'm actually recommending that you NOT play this game with the rules we used. It's too difficult, you probably won't be concious by the time you're finished, and you definitely won't remember the movie.