#792 Eyebrows

Folks, I ask you: what’s not to love about these shaggy forehead caterpillars? Let’s rack them up:

1. Sweat-B-Gone. Your shiny, slippery forehead is the perfect runway for sweat to launch straight into your eyes, stinging and blinding you as you go about shoveling the driveway. Good thing your perfectly shaped eyebrows are there, staunch and hairy defenders of the eyeball, whisking away sweat and keeping you seeing.

2. Don’t look ridiculous. If you had no eyebrows, you’d sort of look like Whoopi Goldberg or the victim of a frat hazing that went too far.

3. Quiet talk. They say that 95% of all communication is non-verbal. You know, it’s less what you say, more how you say it. It’s your dress, your walk, your eyes, and the way you move your body. And if that’s true, what Body Prop comes in handier for this quiet talk than your ol’ eyebrows? Pop them up to show surprise, squint them tightly to show you ain’t happy, and maybe furrow one slightly to show you’re a bit confused. Eyebrows can help you say so much with so little.

Although we may often forget it, our eyebrows are rocking the forehead from the day we’re born to the day we die. They soldier on in the sun, sleet, wind, and rain and need to look pretty doing it. They don’t take vacations and they don’t complain.

So let’s give it up for our eyebrows, ladies and gentlemen. Let’s give it up for dry eyes. Let’s give it up for showing emotion. Let’s give it up for not looking ridiculous.