“She’s doing very well with it now,” pleasant Donald tells me during the Operation Smile‘s 2009 Smile Event held Thursday at NYC’s Cipriani Wall Street. “She’s very good with the baby. There are definitely moments of jealousy as I think there would be. She’s a tough little one herself. But no, she’s great. She’s having a lot of fun with it. Donnie’s doing great, getting big fast, he’s 15 lbs. already at three months. He’s going to be a monster, so we’ll see. He’s been great.”

How does Kai help?

“She actually helps with the feeding,” Vanessa tells me. “I’m breastfeeding, but sometimes I pump and put it in a bottle so she can feed.”

Donald embarrasses. “Way too much information.”

She continues, “But she loves it. She loves to sit there, she puts the pillow around, she copies me with the burp cloth and feeds the baby. Of course, you have to be there because she’s a baby herself. But she helps.”

When asked for a milestone, Ivanka’s big bro admits defeat. “This is her category. I have no idea what these things are supposed to be.”

Vanessa says, “For now, she’s stringing more than three words together, so that’s a huge milestone. She’s acting like a terrible 2-year-old, so that’s her huge milestone. So it’s ‘no,’ and it’s ‘yes.’”Donald says, “She was the sweetest child one day, and the next day, she was really pushing her boundaries. It was a very fast transition.”

Vanessa says, “She’s got a very strong personality. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

Adjusting to life as a family of four was a change.

Vanessa says, “The first few days when I came home with my son, it was definitely difficult because you have a baby at home, and now you have another newborn and you have to attend to both. With the breastfeeding and stuff, it was very difficult. But I’ve been able to manage up to this point, and as soon as you get things going and you have a routine, something will happen. I’m hoping that everything stays the way it is.”

Donald adds, “We’re looking for status quo right now. If we can maintain the way we are, we’ll be good.”

With two kids, how do they make couples time?

“Who? What? That doesn’t exist,” Donald says. “Yeah. Uh, we don’t. We try to integrate as much stuff with the children by bringing them to dinners and making them a part of it. I think frankly it’s a way to really develop a child well, too. You incorporate them as much as you can, and we do what we can once they go to sleep.”

Would they like more kids?

While Vanessa says “we would like to have 2 or 3” more, Donald counters “we’re in negotiations about that.”

When Vanessa brags that her son only wakes up once a night at three months old after she shares her daughter woke up four times a night until she was eight months old, she catches herself. ”I’m lucky. I have a good boy. I don’t want to jinx that.” Donald adds, “Don’t say that in public. It could be a mess.”

Donald Jr. and Vanessa sit down at dinner to enjoy a red beet, string bean and goat cheese salad; basket of homemade breadsticks and sliced French bread plus warm Cipriani rolls; and dinner of roast filet of beef with sauce perigourdine. Vanessa Carlton and the original winner of America’s Got Talent, Bianca Ryan, perform, and the event raises nearly $1.5 million for the cause.

Donald and Vanessa are on the board of directors for Operation Smile, which is a worldwide children’s medical charity whose network of global volunteers are dedicated to helping improve the health and lives of children and young adults. SEE MORE PHOTOS IN THE VALERIE GALLERY: