Thursday, January 13, 2011

Insert Badly Translated Egyptian Here

His name was Zachary Emerald Atemu Powerhouse Bell, and compared to the others in the small town of Domino, he was considered a god.

No one really questioned as to where he came from, for he didn't know himself. The gorgeous, overwhelmingly perfect creation of nature had come to Domino with amnesia.

He was a gorgeous creature, as all Gary Stu's—erm, people who were always over powered were. He wore an open ended vest to reveal his perfect muscular structure and a pair of blue jeans over his hips, and a body that had zero to almost negative amounts of body fat. His face was simply perfect, boyish look with long brown hair that hung like a veil obscuring his face (Some girls who met him thought this as a sin and a virtue at the same time, it just seemed RIGHT) with blue eyes to a point where the shade of blue was almost sickening.

All the girls fawned over him almost instantly, as his gorgeous blue eyes and massive muscles were enough to cause any female within a small 100 mile radius to drop whatever they were doing to merely GAZE upon his incredible stature. He was just that amazing.

It didn't exactly help when he beat the combined forces of Kaiba, Yugi and Joey…at the SAME TIME. Using monsters they themselves had never heard of.

And he had the gall to LECTURE them, noting that all cards had a spirit one must possess to use them properly and other such nonsense.

Normally Kaiba would have told him to go screw himself but the speech itself was so life changing that he too began to listen to what he said. Joey drooled like a fanboy.

Then worst of all came…

Yugi asked for tips.

The boy pretended to be modest and said that he couldn't teach the very King of Games new tips that he all ready knew, but he figured he would have the time.

It would only grow worse.

…

He eventually grew into one of the most well-known people throughout the entire Domino region, as he had every girls phone number, was envied by all males and was now the proclaimed greatest duelist to breathe.

It was another month before he remembered who he was, but he kept it a secret: Lord knows he wouldn't want people to find out he was merely the King of some far away land, and to find out that he was the reincarnation of a Pharaoh older than Atem himself didn't help matters either.

As he dueled some unmistakable horror that only he could beat for some unknown reason or another (aside from being god powered, super powered, merely being Zach Bell helped in those situations) over the very future of the earth it was only then he realized that he would become the chosen one to wield the Millennium…something or other, gods alive.

By the end of the week the world was in his debt, all the girls were eventually his girlfriend at some point and all the men looked up to him as if he were a god. In some senses, he was.

One, however, would see through this veil of deceit…

…

He was walking through the woods, having gone through a wonderful date with the lovely Mai Valentine (whom, at this point, had completely forgotten about Joey) and recently saved the world from another evil (couldn't they leave him alone just ONCE?), merely happy to be alone for once, not surrounded by fans.

A branch snapped.

He turned around and was encountered by one of the strangest beings he'd seen (And coming from Zach, that was saying a lot).

He was about a good five foot eight inches if anything else, wearing nothing but black clothing. However, he sure didn't seem like a ninja, as his face was concealed by the Shakespearian mask of tragedy. In his hand was a sword, short and simple, and on his head was a straw hat.

Zach frowned. Who was this stranger who dared approach him, the seemingly perfect person in existence?

"And just who are-"

"Be quiet, you sickness," said the masked man, narrowing his eyes darkly behind the mask.

Zach blanched. He'd been spoken too in a snappish manner! That has never happened before! Usually people were struck silent at the mere sound of his voice. Something was odd…

"What did you call me?" Zach asked, taking a step forward.

"I called you a sickness," said the man again, his hand on the hilt of his sword, "A sickness, a disease, a mistake upon human lives that seem to dampen it all into a depressing lump of emotions." He chuckled darkly. "I think that fits you in a nutshell."

Before he knew what was going on, the man was now beside Zach. One big difference…was his sword was now pressed hard against his jugular. "I said be quiet, scum…"

"What? How did you get that close to me with a sword? My mere aura causes other swords to rust and break within five feet of me!" Zach shouted, horrified.

"I'm immune to your threats, creature,' said the swordsman. "I'm immune to your powers, unlike the other humans you've manipulated and ruined."

He brought the sword down, and jammed it into his thigh. Zach cried out and fell to the ground, clutching his leg. Sure, he wasn't spurting blood on the ground. Perfect creature as Zach was, why would he need to bother with blood?

The swordsman slammed his foot into the chest of the Gary Stu, sending him deeper into the ground. "Scum like you ruins fanfictions," he said to the creature. "A sickness that puts perfection to a new high. Perfection that should never be achieved."

"How…how can you be immune to my powers?" Zach gasped after cringing in pain.

"I can thank my friend for that," he said. "She's almost in the same business as me… She handles the Mary Sue's though." He grinned. "Your kind is my specialty."

"Shhhh…" the Swordsman hissed at his newest prey. "Calm down child… the suffering shall end soon enough." He smirked, his eyes flashing.

…

After Gary Stu's rather impressive and extremely brutal (FAR too brutal for this story even!) occurred, it was as if Domino had woken up from a bad, bad dream. Everything seemed to go back to normal soon after…

You know, despite the headless, cut open form of Zachary Emerald Atemu Powerhouse Bell currently being strung up by its own internal organs found in the woods by a couple of unsuspecting children. The poor kids would be rather scarred for life.

A note was found near the body, along with a medallion with a GS on it, with a circle and a line going through it.

"Dear good people of Domino,

I merely write this to tell you of the destruction of a great evil that would have otherwise potentially ruined you all. It's as simple as that.

Despite the fact he seemed perfect; he was flawed in every sense of the word. He is far better off dead than he ever was alive.

I have come to do you all a good deed. I did it not out of honor, out of rewards, nor out of anything else egotistical.

I did it out of a good deed. And what can I say? I like killing Gary Stu's.

Do not attempt to follow me.

Do not attempt to find me.

For I am all ready gone.

Sincerely yours…

The Gary Stu Gutter."

…

Tash stared at her friend with a rather disgusted look. "Was the evisceration really necessary?"

"Yeah Aniki…" Miri mumbled. "That was more than what I needed to see…."

"Oh please." Michael rolled his eyes as he put his sword and mask away… for the time being anyway. "You may not handle Mary Sue's the same way, but I take care of Gary Stu's differently! I nip them in the bud and keep them from spreading."

Both girls rolled their eyes, but both grinned. "We're gonna give you props for killing your first Gary Stu…but you're gonna have others. Lord knows there's a lot of stuff out there that can have a Gary Stu in it!"