Spanking idea for Fifty Shades merchandise

Friday 18 January 2013 12:29 BST

16 diary split 18/01

Is there nothing EL James won’t consider turning into a piece of Fifty Shades merchandise? The bondage-evangelising millionaire has already successfully trademarked the phrase “Fifty Shades” so that only she can legally license a shopping list of items including umbrellas, soaps, sex toys, drinks and — improbably — marriage guidance counselling.

The only thing missing was the kitchen sink — until James decided she wanted that too. Three months after the erotica superstar first applied to put a trademark on (almost) everything under the sun, James sent in a second application for two crucial items she’d forgotten: sexual lubricants and household or kitchen utensils and containers. Because what every home needs is a Fifty Shades salad bowl.

For some reason James’s agent, Valerie Hoskins Associates, is a little touchy on the subject. When the Londoner called to confirm that Erika Mitchell (James’s real name) was the director of the trademark applicant, Fifty Shades Ltd, a spokesman replied, “I really don’t want to say anything and, whatever you want, I don’t think it’s of any importance.”

Could it be that her agents are sensitive to accusations of hypocrisy? Hoskins herself has previously declared that “you can’t just hijack something someone else owns” — but it’s well-known that the entire Fifty Shades series began life as a piece of Twilight fan fiction.