A new "first" for me....

As someone who just 4 years ago, used to weigh over 400 lbs, I have experienced a number of "Firsts"...the first time something happened or I was able to do something....This weekend it happened 4 times...so there must be something to it....People referred to me as a "JOCK"!Friday night, I was out in a club and was hit on buy a guy, obviously and bluntly looking to give someone, anyone a BJ. He comes up to me and just stated, "I've never give a serious jock a blowjob before, I'd like to start with you".....I was stunned and not because of the BJ offer, but because of the "JOCK” comment....Saturday it happened twice, in separate events. One, where I was talking with someone in a grocery store line, and they said something about, "you jocks eat differently from the rest of the world...." and then later in the evening at a birthday party for a friend, in casual conversation with some new acquaintances they started talking about exercising and nutrition, and made some comment about ..."we could all learn something if we were doing more like the jock here (referring to me)", and then again today(Sunday) I am walking to cool down after my 80 mile bike ride, and started talking with an older couple out walking and they just point blank asked, "why is a jock like you walking so slow around this trail...You should be running it!" I explained why I was walking...to cool down and stretch out, but had to ask them why they thought I was a "JOCK".....they looked at me and laughed and asked "are you kidding?"

I guess I missed when it happened…. At what point do you become a "JOCK"? Is a “JOCK” different from an “Athlete”? Are these both different from a "gym rat" and a "meat-head or muscle-head"?I always felt “JOCK” was kind of negative and “Athlete” was more positive. “JOCK” was a kind of natural, genetic gift that you didn't have to work for, where-as an “Athlete” was a product of great effort and science and practice and experience, trained to perform at an ultimate level...I am not "offended" by the 4 that referred to me as a "JOCK", I guess I am just shocked that someone could look at me now and come to that conclusion...It is truly a different perspective to hear from my observers, that I can't see or have never even contemplated being known as.Do you think of yourself as a "JOCK"? What was the first tip or signal that you got that made you start thinking of yourself as a "JOCK? I am still learning how to "recognize myself". After 45 years of being that "fat guy"....I have had some problems seeing the "new me", even in a mirror...sometimes the reflection is still that 420 pound guy, even after 3 years of health and success and some therapy...OK maybe a bit too introspective, but still, I know of other threads, but they somehow don’t get at the heart of the issue for me…..just looking for your takes…Thanks.Sporty_G

Congratulations on achieving your goals! You've made an incredible change in your life.

However, it may take a long time for you to see yourself now as you truly are because you are filtering it through many years of viewing yourself negatively. You may also have that sense that you somehow don't deserve the positive attention, which is another leftover from the past.

So, you are now a "jock" even though you don't feel like one! It sounds like each person who called you a jock was making very positive comments about your level of fitness.

Have you even seen the show, How to Look Good Naked? I saw a special about it on Oprah one day and it was very interesting. Carson has women line up in a row of women from largest to smallest. They always overestimate how large they are. He also has them strip naked and assess themselves in the mirror and on Oprah he put a giant picture of them up and had strangers critique them. It was very interesting to see how negatively these women viewed themselves.

I'm glad you asked the couple why they called you a jock. You might want to try asking more people just to see what they say. Over time you can change the negative filters you have.

Also, I think of the word "jock" as a positive term. It means someone who exercises and engages in healthy activities or plays some kind of sport. I think of jocks as being down-to-earth. In high school I thought jocks were "meat heads," jerks, and other negative stereotypes but I changed my mind as an adult.

One thing you can say to people when they compliment you is to tell them your story. People need to hear it. Also, another great thing is being able to turn down the hot guys who ignored you before!

2. Good to meet u at the bar the other week. I THINK my hip and back are okay from the contortions on the pool table (Smirks as the rest of the RJers who read this think something COMPLETELY inappropriate and off the mark :twisted

Sporty_g saidAs someone who just 4 years ago, used to weigh over 400 lbs, I have experienced a number of "Firsts"...the first time something happened or I was able to do something....This weekend it happened 4 times...so there must be something to it....People referred to me as a "JOCK"!

Congrats G, that's great. Wow, that must make you feel really good and you look great and deserve all the compliments. A job well done and worth the compliments 10 fold!

WOOT WOOT to you! I know exactly what you mean. About a year ago, friends and family would start calling me muscle man. In the past, I would have random people come up to me and say how they liked how broad my back was and what a great build I had. It's nice to hear and a great motivator to keep your head in the game. Again dude, congratulations!

Here's a cookie anyway. One for Sporty_g too. I took a bite out of it. Can't help myself.

Thanks for the cookies! Oh god! now they are sitting there tempting me! AHHH! Hurry! I need a "realjock" to eat these cookies for me...Sedative, Will you eat the rest of them for me please? I can't eat that much sugar...

Change in oneself does happen so slowly and you see it every day so you dont realize what has really happened. I can imagine that it will take a while for this it to totslly sink in as real.

I have recently noticed guys checking me out in public now...like at the grocery store. It blows my mind as well as makes me feel sooooooooo good.

In my experience, I dont see myself as muscular, but I see others as skinny. Also, since I have done it, I dont see it as remarkable.

Cas... thanks! You are so right! It is a very slow process to get there and it is strange to think that as slow as the change is physically, the mental change is even slower to take hold.... I think most people are fairly humble and not ready to belive that they are the "remarkable and exceptional case" after you have beaten a ruthless and deadly disease.....And btw.....YOU ARE MUSCULAR! And it SHOULD feel good!

I can totally relate. It's taken me ten years since I started working out that I've noticed I've been called a jock as well. Take it as a compliment, because you deserve it. I'm glad that I'm called a jock now at my age versus in high school because many of the guys that were jocks in high school when I went to my 20-year class reunion a year ago, not only no longer look the part but are no longer leading healthy active lifestyles, which is a vital part of being a jock, in my viewpoint.

It's all about making choices. Do you want that order supersized? The answer is a loud NO! Given the option, do you want to bike to work or drive that SUV?

Sporty_g saidAs someone who just 4 years ago, used to weigh over 400 lbs, I have experienced a number of "Firsts"...the first time something happened or I was able to do something....This weekend it happened 4 times...so there must be something to it....People referred to me as a "JOCK"!

Congrats G, that's great. Wow, that must make you feel really good and you look great and deserve all the compliments. A job well done and worth the compliments 10 fold!

My fellow RJ'ers.You are all very kind and I thank you all for the kudos. I appreciate all of you and look forward to the day that I get to meet any of you in person....maybe we could run or lift or bike or do something, anything, just for fun!

Thanks again.Sporty_G aka Gary

PS & btw: "StripperRocco" ...IS THAT HOT!And I didn't know ANYONE could be that flexible! I know why Rocco's hip and back would bother him from that pool table...DAMN!