Filed Jokes

Funny Jokes

A man in Tarritville, Connecticut, filed for divorce because his wife left him a note on the refrigerator that read: "I have gone to the bridge club. There'll be a recipe for your dinner at 7 o'clock on Channel 2.A man in Hazard, Kentucky, divorced his wife because she "beat him whenever he removed onions from his hamburger without asking for permission."A deaf man in Bennettsville, South Carolina, filed for divorce because his wife "was always nagging him in sign language."A woman in Canon City, Colorado, divorced her husband because he forced her to "duck under the dashboard whenever they drove past his ex girlfriend's house."A woman in Hardwick, Georgia, divorced her husband on the grounds that he "stayed home too much and was much too affectionate."

BREAKING NEWS: BUSH SEEKS TO ENJOIN SANTA FROM CHECKING LIST TWICELack of Standards DecriedAustin, TX (Dec. 13)-Attorneys for President-Elect George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.The suit filed in Federal District Court in Austin, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification.""There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It's totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, more...

Bush legal team sues Santa ClausBy S. Artist ReutersAUSTIN, TX (Dec. 4) - Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted, without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification.""There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It's totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, checking, and re-checking more...

Some people divorce for good reasons, some for bad. Then there are people who divorce for these reasons:A man from Conneticut filed for divorce because his wife left him a note on the refrigerator that read "I won't be home when you return from work. Have gone to the bridge club. There'll be a recipe for your dinner at seven o'clock on Channel 2."A housewife filed for divorce on the grounds that her husband was having an affair. The woman became suspicious when every time the phone rang, her myna bird spouted things like "Divorce," "I love you" and "Be patient."

Toyota Motor Corp. said it has reached a settlement in a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by a female employeeThe Toyota Motor North America Inc. employee had sought $190 million in damages when she filed the suit in May against her former boss, Hideaki Otaka. The parties agreed to the settlement when it became apparent that Mr. Otaka was indeed not a "black belt at bukakke" nor was he a certified "Federal Boobie Inspector."Toyota Motor Company has also decided to drop their countersuit seeking damages for "Ribel."