I am a HARDCORE perfectionist, which has hindered my life for over 20 years. In fact..the reason i haven't even written in this blog in SO long, along with not cooking, disliking my own business i spend hours creating, and hindering other areas of my life, relationships and physical body, are due to an unhealthy addiction of perfectionism.

It seems like a logical thing for many folk to just say "it doesn't have to be perfect" "it's great the way it is" "just DO it!" or "good enough". But...my brain has never understood this way of thinking.

Instead... I reject myself, countless times, regardless of how much support I'm given, because nothing. was EVER enough.

Perfect enough.

Pretty enough.

Creative enough.

Thin enough.

Smart enough.

After talking with a consular, and some INCREDIBLE people in my life [Hello friends IRL and from Dream Boogie!!!] I am FINALLY making the brilliantly large task of taking the steps to REALISE and microMOVE away from this fear of un-perfection and failure.

It scares me to write this; for fear has always been my security blanket...but life is not fun this way, and will not FLOURISH in the way[s] i have faith it will if i continue to wear my perfectionism [and in return FEAR] as my [pseudo super hero]cape.

A very wise women named SARK told me tonight that FEAR and EXCITEMENTcome from the same part of the body. Enjoy the exhilaration of fearful excitement!

2 comments:

This past year has been very hard for me Jen. I have some days where I don't even want to try and seeing your posts help me. I use them as backgrounds on my computer and come to your page when I need encouragement. So you may not know it but you've been a source of hope for me. Times are still pretty hard and I find it really difficult to focus on the good so I am going to take a page from your book and try to do my own Good List Daily. I think it might help change my perspective despite my circumstances.

I wrote a book!!

Hi! I'm Jenipher!

I specialize in encouraging, silly, yet honest illustrations. I love to affirm other people in ways that are raw & honest by using witty humor. Affirming people is very very important to me. My drawings are my small contribution to make the big world a better place; one smile at a time. I really do hope the messages I share inspire people to feel like they are NOT alone and help them through hard times, just like they have helped me. :D