You Have to Read This Incredibly Mean, Typo-Filled In-Flight Magazine Profile of Drew Barrymore

I have never been one for in-flight magazines. Why do we need them? Just bring your own book or magazine! I might take the complimentary magazine out to look at the overpriced food they want to sell you on the plane, or to do the crossword, but that’s about it.

Suddenly, I regret that decision, because of a tweet by writer Adam Baron, which has convinced me I’ve been missing comic gold for all these years. His tweet contains several pictures of the EgyptAir in-flight magazine and its epic, shockingly insulting, hilariously typo-laden profile of Drew Barrymore.

It’s pretty tough to read the images because they’re so small, but here’s some of the lede in all its WTF glory (I didn’t correct the typos either):

Despite being unstable in her relationships most of her life, despite the several unsuccessful marriages and despite the busy life of stardom that dominated her life for several years; the beautiful American Hollywood actress Drew Barrymore has recently decided to temporary take an unlimited vacation to play her most crucial role as a mother ... It is known that Barrymore has had almost 17 relationships, engagements and marriages; psychologists believe that her behavior is only natural since she lacked the male role model in her life after her parents’ divorce when she was only 9 years old. Ever since that time, she has been subconsciously seeking attention and care from a male figure; but unfortunately things do not always go as planned and she has not yet succeeded in any relationship for various reasons.

Damn. Remind me never to piss off the folks at EgyptAir Magazine. They do not mess around.

HuffPost reached out to Barrymore’s publicist, who gave them a statement that “the actress ‘did not participate’ in the interview and that her team is ‘working with the airline PR team.’” But EgyptAir stood by their story in a tweet, calling it a “professional magazine interview” conducted by a member of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

I read the whole thing, and laughed out loud the entire way through. It’s just so mean for something about poor, charming Drew Barrymore! Do me a favor: If you fly EgyptAir this month, and you see a hard copy of this, grab it for me. I want to keep this and teach it in classes on the art of the celebrity interview.