Uri Geller detained in Luton airport after concealing a spoon in his underpants

Following reports of women concealing cutlery in their underwear to avoid forced marriage it has emerged Uri Geller has found a new use for his large spoon collection. Geller claimed he was being blackmailed into marrying his fan and he said this was the only way he could raise the alarm without tipping off his betrothed, however it soon emerged his fan died in 2007 of metallic poisoning. After several hours of questioning a dishevelled Gellar admitted he had dropped some Jelly down his underpants at a child’s birthday party earlier in the day and the spoon became lodged down there in a failed attempt at retrieval. In a desperate attempt justify his actions Geller said "I am in no way wanting to trivialise the plight of these poor women but Michael Jackson and I used to put spoons down our underpants all the time, I once bent a spoon all the way round his cock using only my thoughts and hands."