A drunk skunk, a colossal squid and a cake assault in this week's odd news.

OXFORD, Ohio – A skunk with a beer can stuck on its head had to be rescued near a fraternity house in Ohio.

Oxford police said a resident called them about the skunk's predicament on Sept. 14. Police found the animal banging around, trying to get the can off and running into shrubs.

Skunks are known for the offensive spray they can emit when threatened. But Sgt. Jon Varley says an animal control officer was able to free the skunk without getting sprayed.

The animal was then released.

Varley says police in the city about an hour's drive northwest of Cincinnati have received calls before about skunks and other wild animals. But he says this was the first one he knew of that had to be rescued from a beer can.

Police: Man causes $14,000 damage by doing doughnuts

BUTLER, Pa. – A Pennsylvania man caused $14,000 damage to several other vehicles when he took a dare to do a "doughnut" with his pickup truck in a bar parking lot, police say.

Police say Brett Whitmire's truck kicked up damaging stones as it spun in a tight circle in the parking lot of the Beer Garden in Washington Township on Aug. 18.

Butler County prosecutors tell the Butler Eagle they're willing to drop a felony criminal mischief charge if Whitmire, 35, of Butler, pays for the damage.

Whitmire was arraigned by video Sept. 16 — he's in a state prison on a parole violation. His attorney called the incident a "mistake." He says criminal mischief requires prosecutors to prove the damage was intentional, not just an accident.

Farmer: Missing bull flipped over fence by buffalo

MERCER, Pa. – A western Pennsylvania dairy farmer says a two-year-old bull that went missing for a month was likely pushed over a fence by a friend's pregnant buffalo.

Kevin Minor loaned out his 400-pound Watusi bull, "Lucky," hoping it would mate with a friend's buffalo near Mercer, about 60 miles north of Pittsburgh.

Minor now believes the buffalo angrily rebuffed the bull and knocked him over the fence. It turns out the buffalo was already pregnant and gave birth two days after Lucky arrived.

The bull was reported missing on July 14.

The Sharon Herald reported Thursday that the bull was located in some nearby woods a month later. Minor coaxed the bull back with a small group of cows that the farmer knew the bull liked.

Police: Lonely man made repeated 911 calls

HARRISON CITY, Pa. – A Pennsylvania man has been charged with making three 911 calls to report bogus emergencies simply because he was lonely and wanted paramedics to show up.

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reports that Gregory Shaffer, 52, was jailed after his arraignment Sept. 17 on charges of making false reports to authorities.

Penn Township police say Shaffer called Westmoreland County's 911 center three times over about four hours on July 30 with various false complaints. The first time, Shaffer claimed he had fallen down some stairs and injured his head and neck. Paramedics say they found him intoxicated but otherwise well and calmly waiting inside his home.

Shaffer was in the county jail and faces a preliminary hearing Sept. 23.

Leaking lime juice sends responders to cargo jet

KETCHIKAN, Alaska – A mysterious liquid leaking on a cargo jet sent emergency responders to the island that is home to the Ketchikan airport.

Turns out, a bartender with a dish towel could have handled the problem.

The Ketchikan Daily News reports the leak Sept. 16 on the Alaska Airlines 737-700 was traced to a container of lime juice that broke open during a flight from Seattle.

Airport staff took a cautious approach and called for emergency responders from the Ketchikan Fire Department to take a ferry to the airport on Gravina Island.

The leaking lime juice was diagnosed as the source at 7:30 p.m.

Ketchikan cargo was unloaded, and the jet continued to Sitka, Juneau and Anchorage.

Alligator complaint turns out to be toy

A 2-foot toy alligator was discovered by a Stearns County deputy.
(Photo:
Stearns County Sheriff’s Office
)

ROCKVILLE, MINN. – The Stearns County Sheriff's Office responded to a report of an alligator on Sept. 18 — only to discover that an American alligator had not made its way up the mighty Mississippi River — it was a plastic toy, the St. Cloud Times reported.

The caller was moving a lawn near a wetland area and saw an alligator, approximately 2 feet long, according to the report.

The responding deputy found said alligator on the grass near a creek and swamp and approached the critter, and discovered it was a toy after using his baton to check it out.

The release states: "It was safely removed."

Michigan woman holds off thief, then gives birth

FLINT, Mich. – A woman gave birth after she and her family captured a purse snatcher in a grocery store parking lot, police say.

The woman was putting groceries in her car Sept. 16 on the city's east side when an unarmed man grabbed her purse, the Flint Police Department says. Police say she ran after him, and he pushed her down.

The Flint Journal reports two bystanders stopped the man and retrieved the woman's purse. The man tried to keep running but the woman's family held him until police arrived.

They arrested Mark Newton, 30. He was arraigned on one count of unarmed robbery and ordered held on $8,000 bond.

Police say she delivered her baby later that day.

Man apologizes for drug-filled football toss

JACKSON, Mich. – A Michigan man is apologizing for trying to throw a football loaded with drugs and cellphones into a state prison yard.

Christen D. Moore, 22, on Sept. 17 called the June attempt "a thoughtless and immature decision." The Jackson Citizen Patriot reports the man's comments came during his sentencing hearing, where he got 17 to 60 months on two counts of furnishing contraband to a prisoner.

Jackson County Circuit Judge Susan Beebe says Moore, who was on probation at the time for home invasion, knows "all about the type of havoc this type of contraband can have on the prison system."

Investigators say the throw at G. Robert Cotton Correctional Facility fell short, with the football landing between two fences. Police say the ball contained marijuana, suspected heroin and three cellphones.

The country singer included a song, "Portland, Maine," on his latest album, "Sundown Heaven Town," which came out Sept. 16.

It's a breakup song in which McGraw laments that his love has left for Portland. During the chorus, he repeats the phrase "Portland, Maine: I don't know where that is" and adds "I don't want to know."

Jessica Grondin, spokeswoman for the city, joked that the person who broke his heart "made a good choice in coming to Portland." She says the mayor will give him a tour, if he can find his way to Maine's largest city.

Jeter corn maze set to open as his career wraps up

A corn maze honors New York Yankees’ Derek Jeter at a South Brunswick, N.J., farm.
(Photo:
SEASONED MEDIA/AP
)

SOUTH BRUNSWICK, N.J. – As Derek Jeter plays his final regular-season homestand with the Yankees, a New Jersey farm is preparing to welcome guests to a 5-acre corn maze carved in his honor.

The VonThun Farm in South Brunswick opened its Jeter corn maze on Sept. 20. The farm is 55 miles south of Yankee Stadium.

"Thanks Captain Clutch" is carved into the maze, along with a baseball with Jeter's No. 2 on it. Cindy VonThun, whose husband's family owns the farm, says the maze will be open through Halloween, Oct. 31.

VonThun says the original idea was to do a design this year with a tractor carrying pumpkins, but The Maize Company in Utah, which is contracted by the farm to build its annual maze, came up with the idea to honor Jeter.

California nudist camp accused of stealing water

LOS GATOS, Calif. – Officials in Northern California are accusing a nudist resort of stealing water during the state's historic drought.

The San Jose Mercury News reports that rangers with the Midpeninsula Open Space District descended on Lupin Lodge near Los Gatos on Sept. 11, saying the clothing-optional resort was illegally taking water from a nearby upstream waterfall.

The resort's owners say they are entitled to use the waterfall, which they need to keep their water tank full in case of a fire and to top off their pool for skinny-dipping and as a backup water source for a fire.

No arrests were made or citations issued Thursday, but rangers dismantled a hose leading from the resort to the waterfall.

The resort is on California's official drought-watch list as one of five communities forced to haul in weekly truckloads of water.

Hearses to parade through Hell (Mich.)

HELL, Mich. – Dozens of Michigan hearse enthusiasts will show off their casket-carrying cars during a parade through Hell.

The procession Sept. 20 is part of the 13th annual Hellfest celebration in the hamlet 45 miles west of Detroit. It follows an all-hearse car show.

The Hell-based car club called Just Hearse 'N Around is hoping to reclaim a Guinness World Records mark it set in 2011 when 51 vehicles made the parade. A 107-strong hearse contingent in the Netherlands shattered that record a year later.

Just Hearse 'N Around co-founder Frank Hendeen told the Livingston County Daily Press & Argus, of Howell, that some funeral homes will take part.

But the retired police officer says, "most won't, because they think we're a bunch of — well, we are weird people."

Man at Texas Chick-fil-A pays $1,000 to treat diners

ABILENE, Texas – A generous customer paid $1,000 to pick up the tab for diners in dozens of vehicles at the drive-thru lanes of a West Texas fast-food restaurant.

KTXS-TV reports the man was in a white truck at a Chick-fil-A in Abilene on the evening of Sept. 15 when he handed over the cash.s

The man in the drive-through lane told employees he wanted to pay for everyone behind him for as long as the cash lasted. He told workers that his name is John, he just wanted to make everyone's Monday better and he handed over $100 bills — 10 of them.

The franchise owner, Brian LaCroix, says the cash was enough to pay for drive-through food for people in 88 vehicles over about an hour.

The donor's identity remains unknown.

Man wanted for 2010 robbery arrested at Frisbee tourney

EUGENE, Ore. – A man wanted for an armed bank robbery in New York eluded authorities for four years until they caught up with him while he played at an ultimate Frisbee tournament in Oregon.

The Ulster County sheriff's office in New York says the man formerly of Woodstock, New York, was indicted in late 2010 on charges of robbing a Bank of America there. Marryshow is also accused of stealing a car and setting a barn on fire as a diversion.

The U.S. Marshals Service and local police got a tip that he was living in Eugene. Police say Marryshow didn't try to flee. He was being held in the Lane County Jail, pending extradition.

Boa constrictor captured after escaping Idaho cage

Appleton residents could keep snakes up to 6-feet long as pets, under a new proposal from an alderman.(Photo: NAMPA (IDAHO) POLICE DEPARTMENT/AP)

NAMPA, Idaho – A 9-foot Columbian boa constrictor named Trinity that escaped its southwest Idaho cage was found after two days on the loose.

Trinity didn't appear to have traveled far after being spotted Sept. 14 in the garage that holds the snake's cage.

Jittery neighbors with small pets and children went on alert after the owner reported to Nampa police the day before that the snake disappeared Sept. 12 and hadn't eaten for three weeks.

The owner says he plans to buy a better cage.

The snake's capture comes after a venomous cobra raised concerns earlier this month when it got loose and roamed a California neighborhood for days before being caught.

Billy Jones had to sit on a pillow to see out the windshield Sept. 16, but she took off with flight instructor Kurt Schneider by her side and landed some 30 minutes later at Flagler County Airport.

The Daytona Beach News-Journal reports the flight wasn't out of the ordinary for the 5-foot-tall Jones. For her 80th birthday, she went skydiving. When she turned 85, she flew a glider.

Jones has been taking flying lessons with Schneider for months "just for the fun of flying."

She has also snorkeled with seals in the Galapagos Islands and gone on safari in Africa. Plus, she always takes the stairs to her third-floor apartment.

Seattle police respond to report of cake assault

SEATTLE – Officers responding to an assault report at a north Seattle restaurant quickly got the facts: A man walked into a KFC, hurled a store-brand cake at employees, then walked out.

Seattle police say no workers were hit by the dessert, and the suspect description was vague.

Ah, but the cake! Officer Nic Abts-Olsen wrote in his report that employees were able to provide this vivid description of the assault weapon: "The cake was described as a lemon cake, yellow in color and circular and costs exactly $5.19."

Workers shared another concern they first voiced to dispatchers: "They can no longer sell the cake."

Missing driver says he woke up in field of donkeys

ROSWELL, N.M. – A driver who went missing after a one-car rollover in New Mexico says he later woke up in a field of donkeys.

KOAT-TV reports New Mexico State Police say the driver called 911 seven hours after investigators failed to find any victims from the crash in Roswell late Sept. 13.

The driver, whose name has not been released, told 911 dispatchers that he was lost and found himself surrounded by the animals. Authorities say the man claims he and a passenger were drinking the night before but didn't remember what happened next.

Police say the driver had injuries to a shoulder and his hands and the passenger had back injuries.

The driver was issued multiple citations, but the charges haven't been released.

Police: Drunk prowler stole only couple's candy

ALTOONA, Pa. A central Pennsylvania couple saw a man urinating with his pants down around his ankles moments before he broke into their home and grabbed a handful of Chick-O-Sticks from their candy bowl, police say.

The Altoona Mirror reports the couple first saw Munoz as the husband was leaving to drive his wife to work.

When the husband returned 20 minutes later, he found an open window and a shoeprint on a bucket beneath the window.

The husband reported only candy was stolen. Police say Munoz had a Chick-O-Stick wrapper in his pockets — along with two small bags of cocaine.

Officials beg pastor, strip club owner to end feud

COSHOCTON, Ohio – Officials are pleading for a pastor and an Ohio strip club owner to stop weekly protesting of each other's establishments over a years-long feud.

The Coshocton Tribune reports that the letter to New Beginnings Ministries Pastor Bill Dunfee and strip club owner Thomas George was signed by the city law director, the county prosecutor and the sheriff.

Dunfee and men from the Warsaw church have protested outside the Foxhole North strip club in New Castle. The business has responded with Sunday morning protests outside the church, including a recent one by topless dancers.

The letter says the feud is straining local law enforcement and hurting the community but acknowledges they can't legally be stopped from protesting.

Each man has made allegations against the other, but authorities haven't prosecuted those cases.

Chinese city creates cellphone sidewalk lane

BEIJING – Taking a cue from an American TV program, the Chinese city of Chongqing has created a smartphone sidewalk lane, offering a path for those too engrossed in messaging and tweeting to watch where they're going.

But the property manager says it's intended to be ironic — to remind people that it's dangerous to surf while walking the street.

"There are lots of elderly people and children in our street, and walking with your cellphone may cause unnecessary collisions here," said Nong Cheng, the marketing official with Meixin Group, which manages the area in the city's entertainment zone.

Meixin has marked a 165-foot stretch of pavement with two lanes: one that prohibits cellphone use next to one that allows pedestrians to use them — at their "own risk."

Nong said the idea came from a similar stretch of pavement in Washington, D.C., created by National Geographic Television in July as part of a behavior experiment.

She said that pedestrians were not taking the new lanes seriously, but that many were snapping pictures of the signs and sidewalk.

"Those using their cellphones of course have not heeded the markings on the pavement," she said. "They don't notice them."

Colossal squid an Internet hit

Capt. John Bennett shows a colossal squid he and his crew caught on their boat in December in Antarctica’s remote Ross Sea.(Photo: San Aspring crew of Sanford fishing company/AP)

WELLINGTON, New Zealand – It was a calm morning in Antarctica's remote Ross Sea, during the season when the sun never sets, when Capt. John Bennett and his crew hauled up a creature with tentacles like fire hoses and eyes like dinner plates from a mile below the surface.

A colossal squid: 770 pounds, as long as a minibus and one of the sea's most elusive species. It had been frozen for eight months until Sept. 16, when scientists in New Zealand got a long-anticipated chance to thaw the animal and inspect it — once they used a forklift to maneuver it into a tank.

The squid is a female, and its eight arms are each well over 3.3 feet long. Its two tentacles would have been perhaps double that length if they had not been damaged.

Kat Bolstad, a squid scientist from the Auckland University of Technology who was leading a team examining the creature, described it as "very big, very beautiful."

"This is essentially an intact specimen, which is almost an unparalleled opportunity for us to examine," she said. "This is a spectacular opportunity."

Many people worldwide agreed: 142,000 people from 180 nations watched streaming footage of the squid examination on the Internet.

Colossal squid sometimes inhabit the world of fiction and imagination, but have rarely been seen in daylight. Remarkably, Bennett and his crew on the San Aspiring toothfish boat have caught two of them. Their first, hauled in seven years ago, is on display in New Zealand's national museum, Te Papa.

Bennett said there was so much excitement about his previous catch, he thought he had better save the latest one for research.

"It was partly alive, it was still hanging onto the fish," Bennett recalls. "Just a big bulk in the water. They're huge, and the mantle's all filled with water. It's quite an awesome sight."

Susan Waugh, a senior curator at Te Papa, said scientists hope to find out more about where the creature fits in the food chain, how much genetic variation there is among different squid types, and basic facts about how the colossal squid lives and dies.

She said scientists plan to further assess the condition of the squid before determining whether to preserve it for public display.

Bolstad said it's possible that ancient sightings of the species gave rise to tales of the kraken, or giant sea-monster squid. She said sperm whales often eat colossal squid and are known to play with their food, and sailors may have mistaken that for epic battles.

"On the other hand, we don't really know what the grog rations were like at that time at sea, either," she said. "So it may be that we've got a bit of a fisherman's story going on there, too."