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Saturday, December 24, 2011

Well, I was certainly surprised, disappointed, occasionally impressed but certainly not blase about the results of Billboard's annual wrap-up of the dance/club charts for the year 2011.

It was Katy Perry who held the #1 spot on the Dance/ Club Play list with "E.T." Did you say, "Really?" That's what I said! Katy was also in the #6 spot, singing about girls gone wild ("Last Friday Night"), which I'm sure was a fave at sorority parties everywhere but not something I'd care to hear at a club particularly. The best song from the Teenage Dream album is "Firework," in my opinion, charting on the Club Play list at 19. This derivative but infectious ditty surprisingly was not mashed up with Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors," with which it shares a common theme, the way Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" was mashed with Madonna's "Express Yourself," with which it shares a melodic structure.

A little incidental trivia: Did you know Katy is the great-niece of director Frank Perry, the director of "Mommie Dearest?" (Perhaps we should start playing Six Degrees of Mommie Dearest.)

Second place sees Rihanna all settled in with the "whips and chains" of "S&M," a little bracing coming from a victim of date violence. Exploit much and possibly not a well woman at large here, though very pretty when her face isn't battered by Chris Brown.

Kylie nicely sits atop both the tenth and eleventh spots. The big surprise here is that "Put Your Hands Up" is the 11th spot and "Better Than Today" is one entry up at #10.

Cher's back on the annual Billboard dance hits list with "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me." Dance remixes (notably by Almighty) lifted this one upward on Billboard from the soundtrack of Burlesque. Always a good year when Cher charts for the dance floor.

The shocker on this chart is the fact that Lady Gaga's biggest hit on it is #23, and that's the anthemic "Born This Way," which I thought received endless club play earlier this year. So, excuse me here, but "E.T." phoning home at #1 and "Born This Way" at 23? Doesn't add up! I'd love to see a breakdown of gay club play vs straight club play because results might be quite different, I think. God, I miss the old DMA (Dance Music Authority) magazine!

But Gaga has four hits on the 2011 top 50 whereas Perry has three. Our Lady of Gaga also charts at 37 with "The Edge of Glory;" 41 with "Judas" and 45 with "You & I."

On the Dance/Electronic Albums chart, however, Gaga rules. Born This Way is #1 on that list and The Fame album is #3.

The Fame Monster is #8, while The Remix -- just recently released -- is #9. Ranking four out of the top 10? A simply dazzling feat for any artist.

Ultimately, on the Dance/Club Artists chart, Billboard has Miss Perry in the numero uno spot and La Gaga at numero dos.

Other gay-favorite divas who charted are: Jennifer Lopez with "On the Floor," "I'm Into You" and "Papi" (numbers 15, 16 and 18, respectively); Wynter Gordon's "Til Death" made #20; ageless wonder Yoko Ono came in at nos. 21 and 28 with "Move On Fast" and "Talking to the Universe," respectively. Erika Jayne is in the 22nd spot with "One Hot Pleasure" as the always divine Kritine W charts a respectable 23 with this year's "Fade." Gloria Estefan's "Wepa" is #38, which is nice considering it was released in the fall and tallied alot of play in a relatively short period. The ubiquitous Betty White and Luciana got their "I'm Still Hot" hot enough to be this year's number 48 dance/club hit. You got it goin' on, Perfect Betty!

But it's our Britney who's kind of bottom-heavy on the Dance/Club list this year.

Though "Til the World Ends" did a smashing #17 on this year's round-up, Britney holds the numbers 34 and 39 places down with "Hold It Against Me" followed with "I Wanna Go."

For any of the above-mentioned full chart listings, go to Billboard.com.