10 Things You Need to Know About Sex

Jacqui Olliver is a Auckland, NZ, based Psychosexual Relationship Specialist and Men’s List member who specializes in treating and healing sexual issues. This is her first piece published on The Men’s List and it is a must read! Jacqui Oliver has been solving sex problems for clients globally online via Skype for many years.

There are many common misperceptions about sex problems and what causes them, and so much conflicting advice on how to solve them! So, I’m going to clarify the 10 things you definitely need to know about sex problems. This includes bad technique as well as sexual “malfunctions” where things don’t work as they should. The following are important facts you need to know about sex:

1. Suffering from sex problems is not your fault

We are taught how to drink from a cup, eat from utensils, wash the dishes, and drive a car. There are hundreds of tasks which we are taught a step-by-step procedure for, but sex isn’t one of them.

We’re not taught a complete start to end procedure for sexual technique and quality! So how is anyone supposed to know how to correct random “malfunction” problems? Especially when there’s no knowledge to reference your current technique or problem against?

2. You are not failing as a human being!

Carrying on from the first point, you are simply missing some relevant knowledge. You know, the knowledge which provides you with an understanding of how to operate your human vehicle sexually!

When you don’t know how to make the correct focus adjustments required during sex it’s normal to accidentally give your brain the wrong signals. This is what commonly results in a sexual “malfunction”. These can include early ejaculation and loss of a hard erection in men as well as not being able to reach orgasm in both sexes.

This same problem can switch a woman’s libido off in seconds. Ladies, if you’re thinking about shopping or hoping your partner will change (his) technique you won’t be able to reach orgasm!

3. You think you are too sensitive – or not sensitive enough

I’ve treated over 2,000 clients and just about every one of them thought they were either too sensitive sexually… or not sensitive enough. The truth is that when all your attention is focused on how aroused you are feeling, you become hypersensitive. Whereas if none of your attention is focused on your own arousal then you won’t be aware of any sensation at all! This is why many men lose their erection hardness while giving their partner foreplay.

One of the most important things you need to know about sex is that where your focus goes, the energy flows. Or not. You need to take charge of giving your brain the right signals throughout sex, so it’s not confused as to what you want. This is achieved by correctly directing (and redirecting) your actions and sexual focus.

In my Sex Mastery programs, I show you the easiest and most effective way to control your sexual focus so you’re in complete control of your body and when you orgasm.

4. Sexual enhancement drugs won’t end the problem

I’ve had hundreds of male clients who used numbing drugs for premature ejaculation which then caused erectile dysfunction! And the opposite is also true, erectile dysfunction (weak erection) drugs can lead to premature ejaculation.

Sexual performance drugs can also cause some nasty side effects. This can include headaches, back pain and more serious side-effects including deafness and blindness. These last two issues are rare, but do you really want to risk you or your partner’s eyesight or hearing?

Drugs hide the symptoms without providing a lasting cure. They can also remove spontaneity and fun from your sex life.

Another important thing you need to know about sex is that hormone therapy doesn’t correct wrong sexual focus which is causing hormonal imbalances and the sex programs to misfire!

I reveal to males exactly how to get a strong erection and maintain it from start to finish. Then how to time his ejaculation so it happens exactly when he and his partner want it.

Problems achieving orgasm for women will become a thing of the past.

5. Diet and exercise won’t solve your sex problems

Perhaps the biggest myth of all is the sex, diet and exercise myth. You’ve got to take a logical approach when you suffer from sex problems. If you eat unhealthy foods, then obviously that’s going to affect your health at some stage. This will then affect your libido and sex life.

However, you can eat really healthy foods and exercise daily and still not experience improvement! This is because if you’re not giving consistently relevant signals to your brain during sex then your brain won’t respond with the correct amount of blood flow and hormones and the right muscle programs. Period.

In my Sex Mastery programs for men and women I explain exactly how to balance your sexual focus so you can increase (or decrease) your awareness of arousal as required. This will enable you to achieve your ideal result: a consistently happy and stress-free sex life.

6. Porn is the wrong education

One of my clients was a female porn star who prior to my program, was unable to achieve orgasm via intercourse. She also informed me that many male porn stars inject their penis with erection enhancing drugs and then use a numbing cream to delay ejaculation. The point of this statement is that a lot of porn is fake.

Porn also tends to focus on the technique of hard and fast, and constantly changing positions. A woman just gets into the rhythm of a position and her partner wants to change position. If she doesn’t know how to balance her sexual focus, she will lose her place on the arousal scale and have to start from scratch. This becomes extremely frustrating and disappointing when it happens several times during intercourse and she is unable to reach an orgasm.

When a woman knows how to move through the gears with the right order and the right timing, regardless of her partner’s technique, it will be easy to reach orgasm. This is what I can teach her in my Sex Mastery: Enjoyable Sex and Orgasms program.

7. Having sex with different partners won’t help you solve your sex problems

Many male clients I have treated for erection and ejaculation problems told me they previously went to massage parlours and hookers to try and fix their problem, so they didn’t disappoint their partner. This, or having an affair is not an ideal way to deal with a sex problem.

While a partner may contribute to a sexual dysfunction due to their lack of interest, they are generally not the ongoing cause of it. The cause of most sexual dysfunctions is giving your brain conflicting signals. This happens when you don’t know how to focus your attention correctly.

So, seeking sex with a different partner in the hope of solving your problem is like driving a car with a punctured tire. You’re still not going to get anywhere. It’s also likely to compound your feelings of lowered self-worth and diminishing self-esteem, especially if your partner finds out.

8. Your partner isn’t ok with this situation

We all want to feel fulfilled emotionally as well as sexually. Sexual dysfunction prevents us from achieving both. If your partner has lost interest and delays having sex with you, it’s an indication they may not be happy with your problem or your overall technique… or they are experiencing their own challenges and think they might disappoint you.

Hence, the avoidance of sex.

Most partners secretly hope that their partner will take action to solve their sex problems so they can both feel fulfilled. The unique technique I share in my Sex Mastery programs for men and women will help keep both partners engaged and fulfilled during sex, as well as solving any sexual “malfunction” issues.

I inform males how to get hard in seconds, instantly regain an erection if lost and control ejaculation so it’s timed with his partner’s final orgasm. If you’re a woman I inform how to get turned on, stay turned on, and orgasm whenever you want to. This includes how to orgasm during intercourse without touching your clitoris.

9. Procrastination is your worst enemy

When you suffer from sex problems it can consume your thoughts and affect many other facets of your life and relationship. It also causes a great deal of anxiety and stress. If you or your partner have a sex problem, deal with the sex problem and you will no longer have all the related tension in your relationship.

In my programs I show you the #1 technique for reducing emotional stress, emotional reactions and emotional overwhelm. The Emotional Reset Technique enables you to take charge of your thoughts, emotions and actions so you can unlock your happiness as well as achieve a happy and satisfying sex life and relationship.

10. Your sex problem probably won’t go away by itself

Without the knowledge your brain needs, any improvement tends to be random, inconsistent and nearly impossible to replicate. You can try to reproduce what you did EXACTLY and still not get your ideal result because you don’t know what it was that you were actually doing right!

Hint: it’s not your sexual position or how you hold your tongue.

According to the many satisfied clients I have treated, the ability to relax and enjoy a normal sex life is worth the world.

What do you need to know about sex?

As a male, you need to know how to give your brain consistent and relevant signals during sexual activity to have total control over your erection hardness and the timing of when you ejaculate. Age becomes irrelevant when you know how to balance your sexual focus correctly.

As a woman, knowing how to balance your sexual focus enables you to achieve squirting orgasms and pulsing orgasms on demand during foreplay, masturbation and intercourse and with no external touching required. By applying my Inner Vaginal Flush Technique you can self-lubricate your inner vaginal walls so that horrible inner vaginal dryness (which feels like being rubbed internally with sand paper) never causes any problems for you and your partner before, during and after menopause.

Male or female, I show you exactly how to give your brain the right signals throughout sexual activity. Step-by-step how to take charge of your brain and body so you achieve a consistently fun and satisfying sex life. These things are easy with the correct knowledge and technique as explained in my programs. I’m totally confident my advanced knowledge on this subject will set you up sexually for life.

Psychosexual Relationship Specialist at End the Problem, Jacqui Olliver has helped thousands of men, women and couples restore emotional and sexual satisfaction in their relationships to create a happier life. Click here to check out her programs or to book a complimentary strategy session for real answers to solve the real problems.