I pose this question to all of my hard working women out there who still have to come home and be a wife and mother. While watching Mary Mary’s new reality television show on WeTV Thursday night, the topic came up about younger sister Tina’s weight and style upkeep. She had put on a bit of weight, but aside from that, even her husband made a comment about her looks when just doing things around the house. She is a world famous gospel singer, mother of four and yet still has to look cute while doing chores and running errands? Is this a realistic request from her husband and others?

Personally, I am not married with children, but I know I am exhausted after a hard day at work. When I do have to do things around my home or run errands, looking cute is the farthest thing from my mind. A pair of sweat pants, hair in a pony tail and some chap stick is good enough for what I have to do. When Tina’s husband suggested she put on a pair of jeans and top while doing things around the house instead of sweats, she asked him if she should spend her time cooking and making sure her family is fed or looking nice for him while she does her wifely duties.

Yes, I do believe as a woman you need to keep yourself together and keep your man enticed with how you look, but I don’t think it should be done every day. Tina didn’t look horrible, she had on a black sweat suit and had her hair up while cooking for her large family. When at home you should be able to relax and step away from the cute outfits and make-up for a while. The best part about being home with your family is being able to let loose and not worry about any form of judgment. Some days you may feel like putting on a cute little outfit while you spend time with the family and other days you may not.

It is hard being a woman and I felt for Tina because everyone had something to say about how she looked. I am all for the physical health aspect, but when it comes to the cute outfits while at home…I don’t know about that one.

I think it was a legit request, he was not saying he wanted to look “MaryMary” fly all the time at home he was just saying. Sometimes can you set it up and put on some jeans. (SN: i don’t think jeans are conformable however if jeans in stead of sweat will make up happy do it ONCE IN A WHILE ). I must say I love the way she reacted fist going ham then he was like ill try a little something…. Balance is key…. GO #TINA&ERICA

Bri

I think her husband was being unfair. If she is neat, why does she have to be done up? Any woman will tell you that sweats are much more comfortable than jeans. I didn’t see the show but if she looks neat then her husband needs to fall back. Chasing behind four kids is no small feat no matter the attire. By the way, some men appreciate the way a thick sister looks in sweats.

Buttons

First of all, and this is just my personal belief, I would not have more than 2 to 3 children married or not, and 3 is pushing it. If I’m not mistaken, her sister has 5. Men are too fickle and while they enjoy the act of sex and impregnating, the end result of having multiple children are not always as appealing. A woman, and her body, endures a great deal of stress while pregnant and sometimes men are not very understanding of that. It may sound crazy, but Tina and her sister act like their “husband happy.” Definition: so excited to be married that you will surrender your entire self to your mate trying to please. Now, she delivered four children and she is obviously a very busy women, and he put the expectation on her to look a certain way??? Women need to learn how to set boundaries and even when their married. Children and family are beautiful and rewarding, but having multiple children is not always as pleasant as it seems. Men are are just not that reliable.

Morgan

I don’t know why anyone would do it for a man. You should do your best to look your best all the time for yourself!!!!! I think the worst thing you can do for your husband is to ignore your own needs and not take care of yourself. You can’t do anything for anyone else if you aren’t doing it for yourself.

I know for me, in the first few years of my marriage, I really let myself go. Who cares what my husband thought about it, my self-esteem was horrible. So much of our confidence as women is feeling good about ourselves and feeling that we are at our best. And when we let that go, everything goes to hell.

I think everything should be appropriate for the occasion. There are plenty of cute outfits you can wear while you vacuum.

The first thing all of us need to do is to address our own needs and take care of ourselves… do your best and be your best all the time.. whatever that means for you. He’ll love you way more for that, because you can definitely still look unattractive with a full face of makeup and a teddy if you don’t feel good on the inside.

Best Guest

Morgan, you’re an idiot. Have fun vacuuming in Your Louboutins.

Morgan

That’s so fun. He just bought me a pair.

http://selfra.blogspot.com dantresomi

As a married man of almost 12 years, the biggest fear I have is that my wife will lose herself in her position as a mother and wife. I want her to have her own identity and be her (@AfroMartha). I love my wife in all her sizes over the years. I married the woman in the inside. don’t get me wrong my wife is physically beautiful and I see myself continuing to have sex when we are 80.

So if i love her, how she looks shouldn’t matter especially at this point (almost 12 years and four children later). Don’t get me wrong, she is not the type to run out in sweats and a do rag, but if she did, I wouldn’t care.