Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy Birthday To Us

Year One

On March 16th, 2009, the second iteration of The Python Cartel was formed. It was initially made up of Golden Helmet and myself but quickly absorbed a large majority of all the pilots who were part of the first corporation in 2008. Today is the first anniversary of The Python Cartel Mark II and it quite amazing to see how much we have grown despite the ups and downs. From almost two years ago when we could barely field a fleet of properly fit T1 cruisers until today when we can barely field a fleet of properly fit T1 battleships. Some fun facts about our swell corporation:

As celebration, an operation was assembled to bring a large remote-repair battleship gang to the busy system of Tama to see if we could get into a big, fun fight with our talentless friends in Faction Warfare...

Thanatos

We assembled our gang together and began heading towards Tama:

On our way, one jump out of our destination, our scout noticed an Absolution on a station. He goaded the ship into engaging him and we all jumped in to help. Unfortunately the command ship was able to dock in structure but not before we noticed a Thanatos carrier undocking from the very same station we were engaging on. Realizing that for once we had a force capable of killing a capital ship in short order, we managed to bump him away from dock range and kill his pretty cap-ship:

Oh Noes Piraets!

Monument To A Fallen God

I yawned as we watched him explode. Capital ship kills were getting almost as old hat as T3 kills. We need to start ganking Titans instead.

Tama

After our small death-dealing delay, we entered Tama local and formed up on the usually camped Nourvukaiken gate. Several kills were had and plenty of smack was talked to the girly FW pilots in local who as usual, sat in their station and shivered at the thought of coming out for a fight where they didn't have the 5:1 ship advantage.

From Tama local:

[03:34:28] Spectre3353 > once upon a time there was a land named lowsec

[03:34:43] Spectre3353 > lowsec was a wonderful place, full of trees and chocolate and bunnies and chocolate bunnies and naked women with breasts

[03:34:53] Jaxxon Voers > yay breasts

[03:34:56] L4zor R0B0T > can I nuzzle them

[03:35:02] Spectre3353 > then one day evil people from an evil land named faction warfare descended upon the wonderful perfect land that was lowsec

[03:35:13] Spectre3353 > and turned it into a shitty blobfest full of stupid losers who flew failfit rifters fit with lasers

[03:35:17] Spectre3353 > and abaddons fit with small autocannons

[03:35:27] Spectre3353 > and the people of lowsec did say

[03:35:33] Spectre3353 > OH NOES WTF THESE FUCKERS ARE RUINING LOWSEC

[03:37:03] Spectre3353 > and the denizins of lowsec did pray to their god, spectre of the 3353rd generation

[03:37:12] Spectre3353 > SAVE US FROM THE FW LOSERS OH LORD SPECTRE!!

[03:37:14] Removal Tool > FW runs like a girl

[03:37:20] L4zor R0B0T > does that mean you got podded 3352 times

[03:37:22] Spectre3353 > and spectre did see that his people were virtuous and in need of help

[03:37:33] Spectre3353 > and that the faction warfare members were giant cocksuckers

[03:37:43] Spectre3353 > so he struck down upon faction warfare with all his might

To be fair, faction war fleets tend to be scratch affairs pulled together from whoever is around. Pilots you don't know, many of whom are in all probability idiots who failfit their ships and/or don't have the support skills to fly them properly and/or can't manage to be in the same place as the rest of the fleet at the same time.

There's no way I'd take an equal number of strangers up against something like the Python Cartel - probably drunk and almost certainly obsessing about penis instead of paying attention, but still basically competent and practiced at fleeting with each other.