“Uh,I’mfucked”,saidCentral StatequarterbackJasonUtah. The22 yearold hasalwaysbelievedthat he would, someday, playin the NFL. But asthedraft concludedwithout hisnamebeingcalled,Utah began to realizethat he had completely blown a free college education and has absolutelyno applicableskillsorknowledge ofanything, really,other thandrinking, nailingfreshmancheerleadersandplayingfootball. He and his permanently disappointed father began combing the internet for public schools hiring PE teachers.