Kids In Restaurants: On The Man Menu With Majumdar

Kids In Restaurants: On The Man Menu With Majumdar

I don’t want to share a fine dining establishment with anyone who still believes that Santa Claus is real.

Introducing On The Man Menu With Majumdar, a new column by world-traveling food critic Simon Majumdar. Simon pulls no punches as he offers the definitive man's take on dining and drinking trends.

I can’t think of many topics that divide people more than that of kids being allowed into restaurants.

On the one extreme, you have those who believe that the words “children” and “restaurants” should never be mixed. On the other hand, you have those people, usually parents, who believe that their little treasures should go with them wherever they choose to eat. The reality, of course, is somewhere in the middle.

Little angels and little demons

I am not quite as extreme as those who would have children placed under a court order so they never left home. However, at the same time, I can think of few things that more perfectly replicate the experience of dwelling in Hades than trying to eat a meal while other people’s children bawl, scream and generally make a show of themselves.

It may well be that I am becoming increasingly curmudgeonly as I get older, but the situation appears to be getting worse. When I was a small child, my parents would often take the whole clan out for family meals and, while there was no way they were ever going to keep us totally silent, it was made very clear to us that any misbehavior on our parts would result in consequences dire enough that we kept in our seats and focused on the food in front of us.

Good parents and bad parents

Some modern parents, of course, go to great lengths to keep their children occupied while in restaurants, whipping out the crayons or even a DVD player with the latest Disney release the moment they arrive. And many have the decency to at least look embarrassed when their kids begin to shriek at decibel levels that set off the sprinklers. But for every one of those considerate parents, there seem to be at least half a dozen others who seem perfectly happy to let their offspring create mayhem with little or no consideration for the other people in the place.

After years of lost sleep, these people appear to have become immune to the wailing of their children, and sit happily munching on their meals while all around them descends into chaos. Not only that, but many of them are also under the gross misunderstanding that everyone else thinks that their little brats are as cute as they do, and that their playing hide-and-seek under neighboring tables is just too adorable for words.

I do believe that exposing children to dining out at an early age is an excellent thing. It forms an important part of their socialization process, teaching them the levels of behavior expected in a setting where they may later conduct meetings, or at the very least, have a date. However, it should also be used as an opportunity to teach them respect and consideration for others.

for the consideration of others

As with so many things, it comes down to the parents. First, they can begin with the choice of which restaurants they bring their children to dine. A casual eatery for brunch is perfectly fine, as long as they can keep everything under control. However, I don’t want to share a fine dining establishment with anyone who still believes that Santa Claus is real.

Secondly, they need to learn how to deal with a child who decides that sitting at the table during dinner is not for them, either by removing them from the restaurant until they settle down or by not bringing a likely suspect there in the first place. If they want their children to join them in an adult environment, they should make sure they conduct themselves in an adult way, at the very least, in a way that does not detract from the enjoyment of other people, who are paying hard-earned money for a night out. For those who can’t manage this, I have just one word: babysitter.

So, off the Man Menu this week are unruly kids in restaurants and the parents who allow them to be so. Back on the menu are well-behaved little cherubs, who are seen and not heard as they make their parents proud.

Off the Man Menu: bratty kids in restaurants and their irresponsible parentsOn the Man Menu: well-behaved children and their considerate parents