Babies and incontinence

Like the majority of the members here I recommend against deliberately trying to become incontinent, but it seems like there may be some misconceptions by some of those who claim to desire it. If the intent is to experience the feeling of being a helpless 6 month old then incontinence would likely help that. But this may not be the case if you are looking to realistically regress emotionally to an 18 month old baby.

When you think about the main difficulty parents have in potty training toddlers, the problem is not that the babies are incontinent and can't hold it. It's just the opposite. At 2 years most babies seem to have no problem at all holding it in for hours, and many of them do just that when sitting on a potty. This ability would not have just appeared overnight but would have been formed over time.

If you want to relive the sensation of being a toddler in diapers, uncontrolled wetting may not be a realistic part of that fantasy. Just off the top of my head, I would bet many 18 month old babies have pretty good control over their bladder and decide for themselves when to empty it. They may even enjoy that control to some extent, and, at the same time, they would have no qualms about deliberately wetting their diapers since that is why they are wearing them. Diaper lovers may have more in common with toddlers than they realize.

Just a thought. Is this something that is painfully self evident? ...or are there really misconceptions about this?

I agree, Drifter. Continence is a funny animal. And usually by 18 to 24 months, kids who are fully sensate, and don't tend to go if they move the wrong way because of disability, have it down. I guarantee you, kids that age are thinking, "No way! I've done it this way my whole life! If you wanted me to go potty, you should've told me that before!"

The trouble is I do tend to go when I move the wrong way, and when I know for sure I need to, I need to go, now. No, seriously, move! Get the heck up out my way!

For anyone who thinks incontinence is something to aspire to, pooping by reflex, even if you have control most of the time, sucks, and bladder spasms friggin' hurt! After the possible damage I've caused my body in order to stay clean and dry, it's damn insulting to have people actually trying to lose control of themselves.

I agree! I've often thought this, but never bought it up as I didn't think others would agree.

I've raised 4 kids, and when they start becoming mobile, you can tell that they have at least some short term control. Even a young toddler, 12 months or so, will sometimes stop what they are doing briefly as they use their diaper. At first I think it's just an uncontrolled occurrence, but as they get bigger, you'll see them make deliberate moves as they decide to let go.

If they were completely incontinent, you would think that they would just leak like a sieve as soon as any liquid built up in their tiny bladders, but you'll often see them stop what they're doing and spread their legs while looking at their nappy, as they wet themselves.

And if you have ever potty trained an older child, say 2 years plus, you will know that they can hold quite a bit when they put their mind to it.

Without trying to sound creepy, that's one of the things that fascinates me when kids wet their pants, and I'm also talking about older kids now as well.

How come you may see a big kid with a small wet spot in his/her pants, but a little kid or toddler may be wet all down the legs as well? The bigger kid should have more volume to release, yet in an accident may only wet a little. I don't mean leak a bit in the way to the toilet either, but suddenly lose control of the minor amount they're holding in their larger, more controllable bladders, while the littlies may unconsciously hold a much larger volume before they lose control.

I know it happened to me a few times as an older kid, even 10 years old. I would feel only the slightest feeling of needing to pee, not even enough to require any conscious thought to control, when suddenly I would be so involved in what I was doing that I'd wet my pants before I even realised what was happening. There wouldn't even be enough to make my legs wet, but almost without warning I would have a wet spot on my pants. But I've seen little kids stand there and release what seems like a bucketful that they must've been holding onto.

It would be interesting to find out at what age babies start to hold on, consciously or not. At a guess, I would say 6-8 months. That's about when they start becoming more aware of their surroundings, and getting distracted by stuff.

Yeah I think like us adults, toddlers can store a urine in their bladder and you won't notice it, until it becomes full that's when you get a signal to tell you it's full.

But with toddlers who wear diapers they won't think I need to go the bathroom I just go where as us adults immediately think I need to find a toilet.

So yes they're not gonna leak constantly out of their bladder but they also don't have a clue what to do other than to just go on the spot. Also they stop what they're doing because it's much easier to go standing still.

I suspect toddlers live a little bit in both worlds, being able to hold it for an extended time, and using their diaper for its intended purpose. After all, they've been in a diaper for their entire life, so the parent is trying to retrain the child and reinforce an entirely new concept, that of the toilet. That concept will be misunderstood in the beginning, rejected in the second stage, and through repetition, eventually accepted.

I think that some of the members on this site have misunderstood some of the new members when they said they wanted to in incontinent. From what I've read, and think what some of them meant was that they wanted to be able to wet their diaper while they were asleep. There is a difference. I've done it a few times and it was a wonderful experience. In each case, I was dreaming I was looking for a free toilet in a college dorm, me being a student. I hated to go in front of others, so I would be searching for a free bathroom. On those rare occasions, I finally find my bathroom with no one there and start peeing. I'd wake with a start realizing I was peeing in my diaper.

The other dream involves diapers, finding a diaper and putting it on, only to use it and wake up for real, realizing I was using my diaper.

I think that's what many of these members may want to be able to do. Yes, there are those members who want to be fully incontinent, and for the record, I'm glad I'm not incontinent. But while asleep when I deliberately haven't used my toilet before going to sleep, yes, because I still have some control over the outcome.

It definitely seems like muscle development is in place for young children by 2 at the latest. Potty training is a lot more than muscle development of course, but certainly the physical ability to not pee at any given moment is present.

I also think it's pretty complex to figure out what causes accidents past the first 18 months or so. Of course little kids eat and drink regularly and will pee when they feel uncomfortable because they don't have any reason not to before they're potty trained. But even for bigger kids and adults, the way that you take in liquids and use the bathroom can have a pretty significant short-term effect. For example, I think if you drink constantly over the course of several hours and also pee frequently, if you then try to hold it, it will be much harder and you'll be much more likely to have an "emergency" than you would if you just have a lot to drink and then hold it. And of course if you go about your day without having much to drink, you might not even get the urge to pee for a long stretch whereas drinking a glass of water every hour is for sure going to result in a full bladder no matter how strong your muscles are.

Originally Posted by dogboy

I suspect toddlers live a little bit in both worlds, being able to hold it for an extended time, and using their diaper for its intended purpose. After all, they've been in a diaper for their entire life, so the parent is trying to retrain the child and reinforce an entirely new concept, that of the toilet. That concept will be misunderstood in the beginning, rejected in the second stage, and through repetition, eventually accepted.

I think that some of the members on this site have misunderstood some of the new members when they said they wanted to in incontinent. From what I've read, and think what some of them meant was that they wanted to be able to wet their diaper while they were asleep. There is a difference. I've done it a few times and it was a wonderful experience. In each case, I was dreaming I was looking for a free toilet in a college dorm, me being a student. I hated to go in front of others, so I would be searching for a free bathroom. On those rare occasions, I finally find my bathroom with no one there and start peeing. I'd wake with a start realizing I was peeing in my diaper.

The other dream involves diapers, finding a diaper and putting it on, only to use it and wake up for real, realizing I was using my diaper.

I think that's what many of these members may want to be able to do. Yes, there are those members who want to be fully incontinent, and for the record, I'm glad I'm not incontinent. But while asleep when I deliberately haven't used my toilet before going to sleep, yes, because I still have some control over the outcome.

I think this is right. I doubt most members want to be truly incontinent. The ideal, which I've daydreamed about myself, is some kind of on-off switch for both day and night. The idea that if one is diapered, whether awake or asleep, accidents might happen but if one needs to be an adult then nothing will go wrong is the ideal, I think. It's not really possible though and making oneself actually incontinent is definitely self harm and very bad.

I doubt most members want to be truly incontinent. The ideal, which I've daydreamed about myself, is some kind of on-off switch for both day and night. The idea that if one is diapered, whether awake or asleep, accidents might happen ...

I definitely can identify with that daydream. It's this "accident" desire that I am now questioning, specifically daytime "accidents". Nighttime incontinence is a more complicated matter.

It seems the ideal for many ABs is to have, or pretend to have, daytime accidents, which makes their fantasy of needing to wear diapers more realistic. But if you are looking for a realistic toddler experience, deliberately wetting your diapers may actually be more in line with how toddlers operate. Once they achieve practical bladder control, sometime between 1 and 2 years of age, they willingly follow the rule. The rule is - Don't pee if you don't have a diaper on. This is a very sensible rule because it fits with their experience and because peeing without a diaper on leaves a puddle or a wet spot, and nobody wants that. It's a very easy rule to follow because they are in diapers most of the time anyway, and they can easily avoid peeing during those times when they don't have a diaper on. It's around this time that adults become confused and try to reverse the rule.

The bottom line is, if you want to enjoy a realistic toddler fantasy then wet your diapers on purpose just like they do.

How come you may see a big kid with a small wet spot in his/her pants, but a little kid or toddler may be wet all down the legs as well? The bigger kid should have more volume to release, yet in an accident may only wet a little. I don't mean leak a bit in the way to the toilet either, but suddenly lose control of the minor amount they're holding in their larger, more controllable bladders, while the littlies may unconsciously hold a much larger volume before they lose control.

I know it happened to me a few times as an older kid, even 10 years old. I would feel only the slightest feeling of needing to pee, not even enough to require any conscious thought to control, when suddenly I would be so involved in what I was doing that I'd wet my pants before I even realised what was happening. There wouldn't even be enough to make my legs wet, but almost without warning I would have a wet spot on my pants. But I've seen little kids stand there and release what seems like a bucketful that they must've been holding onto.

My memories support your observations. Donít know when it changed, but I have a couple early memories of losing the battle and standing in place as my bladder emptied in my pants. Once I started I couldnít stop. Be it physical or mental, as the years passed I developed the ability to stop midstream. Coincidentally, control of BMís was much the same for me.

It definitely seems like muscle development is in place for young children by 2 at the latest. Potty training is a lot more than muscle development of course, but certainly the physical ability to not pee at any given moment is present.

I also think it's pretty complex to figure out what causes accidents past the first 18 months or so. Of course little kids eat and drink regularly and will pee when they feel uncomfortable because they don't have any reason not to before they're potty trained. But even for bigger kids and adults, the way that you take in liquids and use the bathroom can have a pretty significant short-term effect. For example, I think if you drink constantly over the course of several hours and also pee frequently, if you then try to hold it, it will be much harder and you'll be much more likely to have an "emergency" than you would if you just have a lot to drink and then hold it. And of course if you go about your day without having much to drink, you might not even get the urge to pee for a long stretch whereas drinking a glass of water every hour is for sure going to result in a full bladder no matter how strong your muscles are.

I think this is right. I doubt most members want to be truly incontinent. The ideal, which I've daydreamed about myself, is some kind of on-off switch for both day and night. The idea that if one is diapered, whether awake or asleep, accidents might happen but if one needs to be an adult then nothing will go wrong is the ideal, I think. It's not really possible though and making oneself actually incontinent is definitely self harm and very bad.

I have to say that this is an awesome thread. I thought it was going to be another one about making yourself incontinent, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I regress to quite a young age, but the thought that I would have some control and deliberately use my diaper is a really interesting one. When I regress I need diapers, bottles, hugs, pacifiers, onesies etc, but maybe I am more true to life than I thought.

I also like the idea of an on/off switch when diapered or not, but am definitely on the side of keeping my continence when not diapered thank you very much...