Today's Stichomancy for Adam Sandler

The first excerpt represents the element of Air. It speaks of mental influences and the process of thought, and is drawn from The Smalcald Articles by Dr. Martin Luther:

without the Word of God; being neither commanded nor
counseled, they are an entirely unnecessary and useless thing.
But the worst is that [they have imagined that] these relics
had to work indulgence and the forgiveness of sins [and have
revered them] as a good work and service of God, like the
Mass, etc.

Sixthly. Here belong the precious indulgences granted (but
only for money) both to the living and the dead, by which the
miserable [sacrilegious and accursed] Judas, or Pope, has sold
the merit of Christ, together with the superfluous merits of
all saints and of the entire Church, etc. All these things

The second excerpt represents the element of Fire. It speaks of emotional influences and base passions, and is drawn from The United States Constitution:

to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offenses against the United States,
except in Cases of impeachment.

He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the
Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators
present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice
and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public
Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other
Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein
otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law:
but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers,
as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law,

The third excerpt represents the element of Water. It speaks of pure spiritual influences and feelings of love, and is drawn from The $30,000 Bequest and Other Stories by Mark Twain:

to take an account of stock, and straighten it out. The Fosters
knew it, they felt it, they realized that it was imperative;
but they also knew that to do it properly and perfectly the task
must be carried to a finish without a break when once it was begun.
A ten-hours' job; and where could THEY find ten leisure hours
in a bunch? Sally was selling pins and sugar and calico all day
and every day; Aleck was cooking and washing dishes and sweeping
and making beds all day and every day, with none to help,
for the daughters were being saved up for high society. The Fosters
knew there was one way to get the ten hours, and only one.
Both were ashamed to name it; each waited for the other to do it.

The fourth excerpt represents the element of Earth. It speaks of physical influences and the impact of the unseen on the visible world, and is drawn from Lin McLean by Owen Wister:

"He goes to the penitentiary this week," said Lin. "He had no more cash
to stake his lawyer with, and the lawyer lost interest in him. So his
sister could have waited for her convict away back at Joliet, and saved
time and money. How did she act when yu' told her?"

"I've not told her."

"Not? Too kind o' not your business? Well, well! You'd ought to know
better 'n me. Only it don't seem right to let her--no, sir; it's not
right, either. Put it her brother was dead (and Miss. Fligg's husband
would like dearly to make him dead), you'd not let her come slap up
against the news unwarned. You would tell her he was sick, and start her
gently."