Get an Ocean, You Two

A pair of rescued elephant seals got a taste of freedom — and each other — when the Pacific Marine Mammal Center sent them back into the wild last Saturday. With well-wishers cheering, the pups shared a kiss before being shooed into the ocean.

ever the cynic, my mother immediately pointed out that, probably no more than five seconds after they were sent into the ocean, a few sharks probably were seen bounding from the ocean with smiles on their faces and food stuck in their teeth.

They’re still pups, tho’, right? The guys don’t get that blumphy nose thing until they get to be big guys, right? So you can’t tell if they are both guys, both girls, or one of each. I going to think that they are one of each, and they had a li’l smooch before headin’ out. I always want a li’l smooch before headin’ out, don’t you?

Your cynical mother is probably thinking of a fake news story which made the rounds in 1998. The story referred to a couple of seals rehabilitated after the Exxon Valdez spill in Alaska. The story claimed it took $80,000 to rehab each of the seals, after which they were released and immediately devoured by sharks. As I said, the story was false. Check Snopes:http://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/fakenews.asp

The kind of people who make such hateful comments nearly always are motivated by childish fear. Fear of sharks, sure, but more than that: fear of failure and resentment of others’ successes. If she can believe the seals were killed, then it means their rehab efforts failed, and she is validated in her fear of not taking similarly expensive risks in her own life.

Tell her to pull her head out of the ground and get some professional help.

All it is, is that the skit happened the year /possibly the summer (?) during which the novel “Jaws” and then the original film “Jaws” were brand-new and highly shocking/ gory for the times.
So when SNL decided to get silly with it, they made the shark into an urban, NYC con-artist type who was inside the high-rises, knocking on apt doors of single women. If they didn’t open their door when he said “Land Shark”, he proceeded to claim that he had candy for them, or maybe a telegram, and tried multiple ruses, so that they would forget about the shark and want to open the door. At which point, “GOBBLE” , the LandShark devoured them!!!!