We all have heard of wellness retreats in some form or another. Especially these days where there is a retreat that includes just about every interest you might have. Overall, retreats are a time to connect with ourselves and learn and grow as individuals. But how many of us have actually taken one? You spend a lot of time thinking about it and how wonderful it would be. Yet something stops you, usually the time or the money. At least that's the reason you give yourself. The real reason is that you aren't making yourself a priority. Imagine, though, if you truly believed that you are the most valuable person/thing in your life. Time and money suddenly become less of a hinderance, reason or obstacle because you know you are worth it.

Wellness retreats reinforce you as a top priority in your life. The focus of a retreat is always on how to be, feel, and live better.

If valuing yourself above all else isn't reason enough to embark on a wellness retreat, here are 6 more reasons.

You will learn or discover something new about yourself. A retreat allows you the time and space to reconnect with the pieces of yourself that you may have forgotten.You will unplug (for a short time at least) from everything trivial that is consuming too much of your time. Not only will you discover things about yourself, you'll also explore other cultures and connect with people and nature on more intimate levels. The more knowledge you have of yourself the more you are able to build solid, healthy relationships - including the one with yourself.It helps you to find your purpose and recenter yourself. A retreat gives you the peace and quiet you need to really explore your feelings and get to the core of the changes you need to make.It's all about you - no excuses, no rationalizing, no feeling bad, no worrying about others - Your concentration is 100% on you. How often does that happen?

Your well being is the one thing you can control in your life. There is always room to learn, grow, and better yourself. So what are you waiting for embark on your wellness journey!

Christa Zamel is a certified personal lifestyle coach. Her style of coaching is not simply about talking, it's about living. It's tying verbal, spatial, and emotional threads together into one body so that inner and outer selves mirror each other.

It's very important to be aware of how you speak to yourself. You are with yourself 24/7. Your thoughts influence every one of your actions. The more positive and confident you are, the more productive and happy you will be. You can be your worst enemy and strongest motivator at the same time. Why? Because of how you speak to yourself. Last week I wrote of the7 Things You Need to Stop Saying to Yourself.Here are the 7 Things You Need to Tell Yourself instead:

Today is a great day to start "..."I'm going to be the best I can be, not what someone else wants me to beI can "..." and I will "..."Nothing is impossible as long as I tryI have to risk the pain to feel love fullyTo know the answer, I need to ask the questionIf I fail, I'll try again and I will keep trying until I succeed

Every goal and aspiration in your life needs to be supported by a positive attitude and an inner determination to succeed. Remind yourself of this daily, and always strive to speak to yourself in motivating manner. Don't just say the statements, believe them!

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Christa Zamel is a certified personal lifestyle coach. Her style of coaching is not simply about talking, it's about living. It's tying verbal, spatial, and emotional threads together into one body so that inner and outer selves mirror each other.

You want to be productive. You want to be successful. You want to excel. You want to be happy. To achieve all these things you try to engage in various activities and rituals that you feel will help you get there. But somehow something is still amiss. Are you aware of the words or phrases you use when trying to accomplish any of the above? The use of the words you use everyday impact you and your ability to succeed.

Try removing these 7 statements from your inner and outer dialogue:

I'll start tomorrow.I'm not good enough or as good as "...".I can't.It hurts too much.If I fail, I'll be embarrassed.I know the answer is/will be no.If I don't try, I won't fail.

It's a small and doable step. If you stop saying these statements in your head and aloud, you will open yourself to a more positive outlook and circumstances. Stay tuned next week for 'Things You Need To Start Saying to Yourself.'

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Christa Zamel is a certified personal lifestyle coach. Her style of coaching is not simply about talking, it's about living. It's tying verbal, spatial, and emotional threads together into one body so that inner and outer selves mirror each other.

Have you ever sat down at the end of the day and wondered where the day went or what you actually got done? We lead busy lives and some times get caught up engaging in unproductive activities that suck our precious time. But you can change that!

Here are 6 tips to planning a productive day:

Plan your day the night before - Knowing what you have to get done the next day and having a plan quiets your mind and allows for a better night's sleep. This enables you to wake up fresh and ready to take on a new day.Write it down, put in our calendar, or put it in your phone - Use the medium that is most comfortable and accessible to you. This way you'll use it.Block increments of time for all tasks - Be realistic with your time allotment. Give yourself more time rather than less to get things accomplished to avoid added stress.Prioritize - Lay out what needs to get done, then prioritize your tasks based on importance and deadlines.Be smart - Group things together on your list based on proximity and/or logical sequence to be more efficient with your time.Don't over task yourself - Trying to cram too much into a day will give you undo stress and inevitably lead to things not getting done.

Make every day a good day!

Feel free to message meif you want a personalized plan or have any questions.

Believe in yourselfSpeak to yourself positivelyTake action on things that are bothering you - Worrying isn’t a solution, taking action isLet go of the things weighing you downAsk yourself the important questions and try to answer them honestlyCome up with a plan/strategy and map it out in small, doable stepsFeel proud of yourselfVisualize the life you want and take the necessary steps to achieve itMake a list of affirmations Be grateful

We all want to believe that we are the masters of our universes. But the reality is that living life on your own terms is much harder than it may seem. Whether we are conscious of it or not, people and experiences often times dictate our thoughts and actions. We are influenced by so many things, both tangible and intangible that sometimes we end up living a life that's not ours at all. The key is to be mindful of this and take action the moment you feel your life is no longer yours.

Here are 10 tips to help you live life on your terms.

Believe in yourself - Don't get swayed by others. Everyone will have an opinion but the most important one is yours.

Heed advice but make your own decisions - Those close to you care and will offer advice and support when needed. Weigh all information and then come to your own conclusions.

Stay strong - Know that there will be those people who will put you down or try to get you to conform. Your individuality scares them. Surround yourself with people who support and motivate you.

Know yourself - The better you know yourself the easier it will be to choose how you live.

Don't be a follower - Choose your path. One that you are comfortable with and happy to walk alone.

Define your world - What do you want your world to look like? What's important to you? What type of people do you want to be surrounded by?

Practice gratitude – Appreciate what you have, the people you love, and yourself. Being grateful keeps you grounded and helps you see what’s important and what’s not.

Be mindful - Feel the moment. The more aware you are of the moment, the more clearly you will be able to see your world and determine if you are living your life or someone else’s.

Listen – Listen to your heart, your mind, your voice, and instinct. Your voice should be the strongest and loudest in your world.

Own it - It's your life. Don’t make excuses or apologize for how you live. Own it!

You get one life so to allow it to be dictated by anyone other than yourself should not even be an option.

Christa Zamel is a certified personal lifestyle coach. Her style of coaching is not simply about talking, it's about living. It's tying verbal, spatial, and emotional threads together into one body so that inner and outer selves mirror each other.

I’ve never been of the thought that a person needs to only fit into one box or category. We are all multi-faceted and made up of several layers. I, myself, am a dichotomy, which even I sometimes don’t understand. But I think that’s the beauty of life – you change and grow every day. Discovering who you are and the role you play in this life is part of the journey. You don’t have to be the same person you were yesterday or even this morning. Sometimes who you are is dependent on your mood or the situation. That doesn’t mean you are not being genuine or real. It simply means your personality is adjusting to your needs of that moment.

The trouble arises when you don’t know or accept who you are. Here are 5 tips to help you define who are:

Be selfish – Focus on yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to explore who you are and what makes you tick. By putting the focus on you, you take control. You allow yourself to think, be, and feel however you would like.Ask yourself questions and be honest with the answers (even if you don’t like them). When we get to know others, we ask questions and watch their behavior and patterns to fully understand them and determine if we want them to be in our circle. Do the same for yourself. You’re with you 24/7 so you may want to know and like yourself.Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses and accept both. Your weaknesses should not be viewed as flaws. They are part of your character. Build off of, be honest about, and use them to learn and make you stronger.

Remove the fear – It’s natural to be afraid. But when you release yourself from fear, you liberate yourself from the prison fear creates. Without fear there are no limitations. See my article 5 Ways to Conquer Fear.

Be grateful – for others, for yourself, for actions and words, for life. Be grateful we are fluid beings that have the propensity to adapt and evolve to our surroundings. Our beings are 3-dimensional so don’t live a 1-dimensional life.

It seems that in today’s world, you either have to be defined by one category (i.e. creative, analytical, perfectionist, slacker, artistic, etc) or feel lost as to who you are. We have all heard someone describe someone else as “not having any direction” or “being all over the place.” The truth of the matter is we are all complex beings who have varying strengths and weaknesses. If we aren’t given the chance to explore and try different things, we will never know what we are truly capable of.

Christa Zamel is a certified personal lifestyle coach. Her style of coaching is not simply about talking, it's about living. It's tying verbal, spatial, and emotional threads together into one body so that inner and outer selves mirror each other.

Divorce is an emotional plight whether amicable or not. Individuals need to get organized and be aware of what they want and need from their divorce proceedings all while dealing with the emotional toll it takes on them and their family. Attorneys don’t have time to always hold their hand or wipe their tears or deal with their emotions. A divorce attorney’s concentration is on the legal issues of the divorce and how to best protect their client’s interests from a business perspective. But divorcing individuals need to feel heard on both their legal and non-legal issues. They need an objective person to talk through their fears about going to court, dealing with a belligerent spouse, finding a new place to live, and parenting solo. They need help managing emotions so that they can gather the information needed and articulate their own needs and expectations of the proceedings to their attorney. Addressing the non-legal issues is not what divorce attorneys are retained for but is both vital and essential to handling the proceedings efficiently and to transitioning smoothly onto the next stage of life.

Transitioning from divorce in a healthy manner involves many things. However, two key tools are 1) being able to let go emotionally of the marriage and the house and 2) reestablishing yourself positively in a new space and life.

As with most things, change is difficult and so is letting go. But the sooner you embrace change and learn to let go, the sooner you can heal, reclaim yourself and begin your new life. Here are 9 steps to help you:

Mourn the loss - It is important to allow the full range of emotions to be felt (anger, sadness, relief, joy).

Remember why you fell in love, the qualities you found admirable in your spouse and the happy memories in your home - It will help dissipate your anger and make it easier to heal and forgive.

Tell family and friends - Speaking about it makes it real and allows you to grieve.

Forgive your spouse and yourself - Forgiveness is powerful. It puts the control back in your hands.

Stop trying to hurt your spouse - It keeps you stuck and makes you forfeit control of your life.

Stop taking responsibility for your spouse and start taking responsibility for yourself - You are not responsible for what your spouse does or needs. You are responsible for what you do and you needs.

Be proactive not reactive - Participate in your divorce. Be vocal and clear. Tell your attorney what you want and need for a resolution. If possible, speak to your ex about it as well.

Set specific, short term, attainable goals with deadlines - Setting goals helps you to focus and achieve what you want. When you are surrounded by darkness, knowing there is a light to guide you makes a world of difference. Attaining the goals will build your confidence and help you move forward.

Moving is big change under any circumstance. Moving to a new home during or after a divorce can release a range of feelings from daunting to exciting. Prepare yourself emotionally by acknowledging that you will feel various emotions at different moments. And know that this okay and normal when transitioning. Your space is important as it reflects who are while impacting how you feel.(Read my article ‘Does Your Mental Space Match Your Physical Space’). The following are ways you can reestablish yourself in your new space:

Let go of the past – Remind yourself that you are starting a new chapter in your life and to do so you need a fresh, new space.

Embrace the change – Change is good. It allows for growth and new experiences to enter your life.

Focus on the positive – Stop feeling resentment about what you feel you gave up and start being grateful for the new opportunities that are coming your way.

Make the space your own – Decorate your new home to reflect you and your individual tastes. Create a sanctuary for yourself that makes you happy to come home to each day.

Make it familiar and new – It’s okay to hold on to familiar pieces that bring you joy and comfort. Just lace them with a few new things to mark a new beginning.

Don’t mark it only as a temporary space – Even if it just temporary, unpack and add touches that define it as yours. If you don’t, it will leave you feeling stuck and regretful.

Budget – Divorce is expensive. Be realistic about what you can afford. Detail and budget your expenses for the next 6 to 12 months.

Getting through a divorce can be painful. But with the right tools and support, you can maintain your personal integrity, establish and retain a sense of self, and move on to the next stage in life empowered and confident.

Christa Zamel is a certified personal lifestyle coach. Her style of coaching is not simply about talking, it's about living. It's tying verbal, spatial, and emotional threads together into one body so that inner and outer selves mirror each other.

There are periods in your life when you can lose sight of who you are as an individual entity apart from your friends, family, spouse, or children. So much time is spent focusing on others needs and ambitions that you lose sight of what you really want and who you are. You’re more than a parent, a son or daughter, an executive, or a caregiver. You’re a dreamer, a planner, an inventor, an artist, a creator, or whatever else brings passion into your life.

As I have written previously in my article 7 Ways to Master Life Transitions, life is a series of transitions and a natural part of our lives. That’s not to say that these transitional periods aren’t difficult. They are. But they also provide us with enlightenment and second chances at happiness. The questions “who am I” and “what makes me happy”come up frequently during this period.

In a world where the focus has become instant gratification, we have forgotten that ultimate happiness is a journey. It takes time, effort, and cultivation. I'm not saying that you necessarily have to plan your happiness. You do, however, have to actively participate in creating it. Understand that there may be occasional pitfalls and that's ok. If you want to feel happiness, you need to know who are and what makes you happy and then dive head first into it.

Step 1 - Know Who Are

Take the time to reconnect with yourself. Discover what/who makes you smile and buckle over with laughter. Focus on getting to know yourself and what makes you tick as you would with a potential partner or you did with a your current partner. After all you are the most important person in your life so go ahead and fall in love with you.

Step 2 – Know What Makes You Happy

Now this can be tricky for some people. I’ve had many clients ask me “but what if I don’t know what makes me happy, then what do I do?” Do what I like to call sampling the buffet. Try an array of different activities both solo and with other people – take a class (cooking, dance, art, photography, etc), go for a run or a hike or another type of physical activity, start a journal, volunteer, garden, redesign your home, meditate. You get the idea. There are so many things/experiences out there waiting for you. Take time for yourself – sample the buffet – and see what you like. It may surprise you to find the things that make you truly happy.

Step 3 - Create That Happiness

Once you discover what makes you happy work it into your life, preferably and if possible on a daily basis. Don't fall into the trap of only concentrating on a single thing or the extreme of too many things. Remember what each sample felt like and don't limit yourself. Be the force behind your happiness.

At the core, true happiness comes from the inside. The more you know yourself and accept yourself the happier you'll be.

Christa Zamel is a certified personal lifestyle coach. Her style of coaching is not simply about talking, it's about living. It's tying verbal, spatial, and emotional threads together into one body so that inner and outer selves mirror each other.

Transitions are a natural part of life. Some are marked internally as we change and grow, while others are marked externally as episodes in our lives. Some of which include marriage, divorce, a birth, a passing, a career change, or a move. Whatever the transition may be, your coping skills determine the ease or difficulty of how you enter into the next stage of your life. The 2 common denominators in all transitions are you and change. If you are scared of change, chances are your transition won’t be easy on you. But they are ways to manage your fears and transition smoothly.

Here are 7 ways to master life transitions:

Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions associated with the transition, from anxious and depressed to happy and excited.View it as a new chapter not the end of the story. Life is a work in progress, and as such you can keep writing new episodes.Think positive, think opportunity – now is the time to explore new possibilities. With every transition comes time to focus or re-focus on yourself and what you want from your life. So try the thing/s you’ve been itching to do but haven’t had the chance yet.Keep momentum by having a plan and putting it to action. If you wait to long you might get stuck. Be proactive. Outline what you want to happen and take steps (no matter how small) to achieve it.Value the importance of and use a support system. You don’t have to do it alone. Lean on friends, family, a coach, or your community. Engage with them. It will ease the apprehension of the transition.Set realistic expectations and timelines. Give yourself time to cope with the transition and give yourself goals to achieve beyond the transition.Realize and accept that the transition is the “in between” stage, not the “forever” stage. There will be a period when it’s hard and overwhelming. That’s when you breathe deep and remind yourself that you are transitioning to something better.

Life transitions can be emotional, spiritual, physical, or all three. They aren’t something that can be avoided. So it’s better to embrace them in a positive and proactive way. Trust yourself enough to allow yourself to grow and evolve through the process.

Every day I change. Every minute I grow. Every second I learn. I am never the same but am always me.

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Are you afraid of change?Is it hard for you to transition from one stage of life to the next?Do you need help transitioning or starting a new chapter in your life?

Christa Zamel is a certified personal lifestyle coach. Her style of coaching is not simply about talking, it's about living. It's tying verbal, spatial, and emotional threads together into one body so that inner and outer selves mirror each other.