Mexicans Now Taking George W. Bush’s Blackberries

First they came for our jobs. Then they came for our jobs again. They came for our jobs several times after this. But now the Mexicans are coming for our White House BlackBerries. At a meeting of Canadian, Mexican and U.S. officials this week, a Mexican aide “pocketed” several BlackBerries belonging to the U.S. delegation. Two questions: (1) How did this aide illegally get into the country in the first place? (2) Why didn’t we elect Mitt Romney to stop this illegal behavior?

The theft has become so incendiary that the White House is bringing in the Tuff Guys to comment on the ongoing investigation.

ENTER PERINO, GON SMASH SOME HEADS:

“There was an incident in New Orleans at the leaders’ summit… where an individual from the Mexican delegation, or a staff member, was involved in these Blackberries — the disappearance of a couple of Blackberries,” said Dana Perino, the BlackBerry-toting White House press secretary. “I don’t know how many it was. The matter is under investigation by law enforcement officials and they haven’t decided yet what exactly happened, but they’re working on it.”

Perino’s Berry was not among the purloined wireless cache.

Fox News, of course, is all over this Mexican act of belligerence towards America and her Freedom BlackBerries:

Fox News is identifying the suspect as a Mexian press attaché, caught on camera by the Secret Service pocketing several BlackBerries left on tables by people entering a meeting room.The offical was “responsible for handling logistics and guiding the Mexican media around at the conference,” Fox reports. “He took six or seven of the handheld devices from a table outside a special room in the hotel where the Mexican delegation was meeting with President Bush.”

Beverly Hills surgeon explains at home fix for crepey skin around the arms, legs, and stomach.

The United States has scheduled a nuclear attack on Mexico for 6 o’clock this evening, Mexican Time. The Mexican president has declared a state of emergency, and Mexico’s people have found refuge in the United States, several decades ago.

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.