Tag: feel

Here is the next link: through the condition of contact, feelings arise – which makes sense, because, in the Buddhist view, the things we perceive through our sense organs tend to come with feelings attached, however subtle the feelings. Mindfulness involves, among other things, cultivating an awareness of your feelings that fundamentally changes your relationship to them. A donut smells good, so we approach it; a restless hunger feels bad so we try to escape it – by, say, eating a donut; social status feels good and ridicule feels bad, so we pursue and avoid, respectively. If you interact with such feelings via tanha – via the natural, reflexive thirst for the pleasant feelings and the natural, reflexive aversion to the unpleasant feelings – you will continue to be controlled by the world around you. If you observe those feelings mindfully rather than just reacting to them, you can in some measure escape the control; the causes that ordinarily shape your behaviour can be defied, and you can get closer to the unconditioned. In his foundational ‘discourse on the not-self’, the Buddha repeatedly asked whether various things we think of as parts of our self – feelings, thoughts, even our bodies – are really completely under our control. You might say that the path of progress in a serious mindfulness-meditation regimen consists largely of becoming aware of the causes impinging on you, aware of the way that things manipulate you – and aware that a key link in that manipulation lies in the space where feelings can give rise to tanha, to a craving for pleasant feelings and an aversion to unpleasant feelings. Making real progress in mindfulness meditation almost inevitably means becoming more aware of the mechanics by which your feelings, if left to their own devices, shape your perceptions, thoughts and behaviour – and becoming more aware of the things in your environment that activate those feelings in the first place.

Academics have found increasing evidence that happiness through adulthood is U-shaped – life satisfaction falls in our 20s and 30s, then hits a trough in our late 40s before increasing until our 80s. Forget the saying that life begins at 40 – it’s 50 we should be looking toward. He has written a book, The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50, which includes personal stories, the latest data and illuminating interviews with economists, psychologists and neuroscientists. “Rauch, an author and journalist, adds:”Those most likely to notice the arrow of time are the people without a lot of other change or difficulty in their life. Life satisfaction statistics for the UK in 2014-15 show happiness declining from youth through middle age, hitting a low at 50 and rising to a peak at 70. “Yet around the time I turned 40 I noticed this strange feeling of restlessness and discontent. This continued to grow as I got into my 40s to the point where I was 45 and I won the most prestigious award in magazine journalism and that gave me a great feeling of satisfaction with my life for approximately 10 days.” “All these feelings of discontent and restlessness – and even sometimes worthlessness and this feeling I’d almost wasted my life – kept coming back.” Rauch tells the Guardian: “That’s a very profound insight because what we’re talking about here is not that the conditions of your life change in some huge way, but how you feel about your life changes.” As Rauch approaches 60, he feels ever more grateful for his life.

The atmosphere at a recent event with Reni Eddo-Lodge, part of the Southbank’s WOW: Women of the World festival in London, was more like a party than a books evening. The excitement among the audience of largely young women was as striking as the amazing hair and outfits. “It’s either the beginning of a revolution, or it is going to be a fad. We just don’t know I do see in women a sense that ‘We’re done, this is it … No.’ and it gives me hope.” Although the “You” in the letter is “Ijeawele”, a Nigerian mother living in a traditional Igbo culture, Adichie is talking to young women the world over: “To get letters from women, saying ‘you make me feel stronger’ that means a lot to me,” she says. One group who didn’t seem swayed by how much they found Clinton likable was black American women, 90% of whom voted for her in the election. “There were white women who were therefore able to overlook his very blatant misogyny because he appealed to their whiteness.” “There are so many women for whom pregnancy is the thing that pushed them down, and we need to account for that. We need to have a clause in every job that a woman who gets pregnant gets her job back in exactly the same way. It’s wrong!” For her, gender is a social construction: “I don’t think I’m more inherently likely to do domestic work, or childcare … It doesn’t come pre-programmed in your vagina, right?”. She expected a degree of hostility – “Feminist is a bad word, everywhere in the world, let’s not kid ourselves, but particularly where I come from.” But she was not prepared for the furore that followed an interview on Channel 4 last year when she sparked controversy by arguing that the experiences of trans women are distinct from those of women born female, which was interpreted by some as “Creating a hierarchy” and implying that “Trans women were ‘less than’, which I was not … I don’t think that way.”

As Ms. Widdows notes, the beauty ideal is so pervasive that it is internalized in many women, who are haunted by idealized visions of their own bodies – fantasies of how they might look after undergoing extreme diets or cosmetic procedures. “I Feel Pretty” places the blame on women. Part of the conditioning of the “Patriarchal ideal” is to make women feel empowered by it on their “Own terms.” That way, every time you critique an unspoken requirement of women, you’re also forced to frown upon something women have chosen for themselves. As it happens, the only black women in “I Feel Pretty” – the SoulCycle employee Sasheer Zamata and the beauty executive Naomi Campbell – are representatives of the hot-girl faction. Vaulting a few women of color to the top gives the beauty standard a progressive sheen that helps inure it from criticism. All the women representing standard-issue beauty in the movie – including Ms. Ratajkowski, Ms. Campbell and Michelle Williams – are incredibly thin. What struck me was how many of the women hailed as “Strong female characters” are nevertheless required to hew to the same physical requirements as the eye candy – beautiful, young and small. What’s more, these women are meant to be naïve to their own looks, like the heroine of “Brooklyn”: “Open-faced pretty without knowing it.” These descriptors poke at another lie in “I Feel Pretty”: that all regular women need to succeed is a healthy dose of confidence.

In late 2011, I moved back to Los Angeles after a yearlong exile in Seattle. So we will never get back toTo the old schoolTo the old grounds, it’s all about the newfoundWe are the newborn, the world knew all about usWe are the future and we’re here to stay We’ve come a long way since that dayAnd we will never look back at the faded silhouetteWe’ve come a long way since that dayAnd we will never look back, look back at the faded silhouette. Our jiltedness at not getting the adulthood we’d been promised as kids – reliable employment, the outside chance of one day owning a house – had retreated to lick its wounds and come back as a voracious, bottomless need for everything shiny and stupid and expensive we could get our hands on, even if we had to scam our way to it. “We will never look back at the faded silhouette” feels more than a little bit sinister now, as a generational statement. Like every apocalyptic radio pop song of that era, asking us to live like tomorrow will never come, there was an overwhelming need for the music of the era to freeze time, both to stave off adulthood, but also to deny every feeling of doubt and sadness and confusion that had come before, to will it away in order to start our lifestyle brands or build our Twitter following. I had managed to convince myself in 2011 that I could still get what I wanted, but in reality I had a very small reservoir left, constantly one disaster away from moving back home again. Perhaps the music of Avicii – who convinced a wave of jaded music critics that Vegas-oriented dance music could be kind of great after all – is the sound of selling out. If I’m at a wedding, or a barbeque, and “Levels,” comes on, I will dutifully stand for my generation’s anthem, and think back to the time when it felt like we could dance our way out of anything unpleasant.

Your attitude often reflects your inner resistance to reality. No matter how hard it is to admit, there are things in your life that aren’t meant to stay. Design YOUR journey every step of the way! The life you create from doing something that moves you is far better than the attitude you get from sitting around wishing you were doing it. Let’s use diet and exercise as an example First, you become unhealthy because eating healthy food and exercising feels uncomfortable, so you opt for comfort food and mindless TV watching instead. But then, being unhealthy is also uncomfortable, so you seek to distract yourself from the reality of your unhealthy body by eating more unhealthy food and watching more unhealthy entertainment and going to the mall to shop for things you don’t really want or need. Your attitude has been bruised by inconsiderate people. Your attitude is often submissive and waits for validation from others. Breathe out let go, and just live right now in the moment with a self-validating, self-loving attitude. Which attitude issue mentioned above often gets the best of you? Who would you be, and what else might you see, if you shifted your attitude in that area of your life?

The pregnant woman is from Guinea-Bissau and has only been living in Germany for the past nine months. Germany has obviously become a country of immigration – and one that is changing rapidly. At the time when Sarrazin was promoting his theories about Muslim immigrants’ fondness for procreation, only 40,000 new asylum-seekers were entering Germany each year. German Interior Minister Horst Seehofer of the conservative Christian Social Union, the Bavarian sister party to Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union, reacted to that sentiment with his recent remarks that Islam doesn’t belong to Germany. Of course, the sentence in and of itself is nonsense: Around 4.7 million Muslims call Germany home. Why? Because saying “Islam doesn’t belong to Germany” is a way of expressing discomfort with the ways in which the country is changing. Germany is fond of such symbolic debates, which ultimately ony serve to determine which side people fall on rather than actually addressing the real issues at hand. There are constant debates over whether to ban the burqa, even though very few women actually wear them in Germany.

One of the most basic facts about time is that, even though we insist on measuring it as if it were an objective unit, it doesn’t, in all conditions, feel as if it were moving at the same pace. Time moves more or less slowly according to the vagaries of the human mind: it may fly or it may drag. Life, whatever the dieticians may urge, it seems like the priority should not be to add raw increments of time but to ensure that whatever years remain feel. The aim should be to densify time rather than to try to extract one or two more years from the fickle grip of Death. Why then does time have such different speeds, moving at certain points bewilderingly fast, at others with intricate moderation? The clue is to be found childhood. Childhood ends up feeling so long because it is the cauldron of novelty; because its most ordinary days are packed with extraordinary discoveries and sensations: these can be as apparently minor yet as significant as the first time we explore the zip on a cardigan or hold our nose under water, the first time we look at the sun through the cotton of a beach towel or dig our fingers into the putty holding a window in its frame. We don’t need to make art in order to learn the most valuable lesson of artists, which is about noticing properly, living with our eyes open – and thereby, along the way, savouring time. ‘What if life were given back to me – what infinity! I’d turn a whole minute into an age’ Faced with losing his life, the poor wretch recognises that every minute could be turned into aeons of time, with sufficient imagination and appreciation.

With a scarcity mindset, you believe that everything is limited. Here’s the thing: In so many ways, financial freedom depends on casting aside this scarcity mentality and embracing an abundance mindset instead. Financial well-being is fundamentally tied to positive expectations of the future. Let’s look at three ways the scarcity mindset can manifest itself – and how to embrace abundance instead. Jealousy and Spite. For some, the scarcity mindset manifests as jealousy and spite. For others, the scarcity mindset manifests as fear of the future. With our flavor of the scarcity mindset, we’re so skeptical about tomorrow that we enjoy too much today. A scarcity mindset leads to self-defeating behavior. To finish, let’s look at a technique anyone can use to move from scarcity to abundance: To get what you want, give what you want.

This post isn’t me giving you career advice really-it’s a framework that I think can help you make career decisions that actually reflect who you are, what you want, and what our rapidly changing career landscape looks like today. The particulars of your career also often play a big role in determining where you live, how flexible your life is, the kinds of things you’re able to do in your free time, and sometimes even in who you end up marrying. On top of your career being the way you spend much of your time and the means of support for the rest of your time, your career triples as your primary mode of impact-making. In the cook-chef post, I designed a simple framework for how a chef makes major career choices. The overlapping area contains your good career path choices-good arrows to draw on your Career Map. For a career option to qualify for your Reality Box, your potential in that career area has to measure up to the objective difficulty of achieving success in that area. If you can figure out how to get a reasonably accurate picture of the real career landscape out there, you have a massive edge over everyone else, most of whom will be using conventional wisdom as their instruction booklet. Eric Barker’s blog is full of actual data that can help with career choices, like this post on what makes a career fulfilling or this one on the importance of mentors.