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I have been doing a lot of work on myself the past year. I have been bettering myself in order to be better for my husband and children.

The other day I had to make a phone call, my husband was sitting next to me while I was on the phone. I ended up talking to a male on the phone. When I got off the phone my husband pointed out that I was a little bit flirty on the phone with my fake laugh. I never noticed how I was acting. I didn't think I was being flirty at the time but thinking about it after he pointed it out, I was. I wasn't meaning anything by it and wasn't doing it intentionally.

I know I still have a of work to do on myself to be where I want to be. I am still having trouble strengthening my boundaries though. Anyone have any suggestions on how I could go about doing so?

My only suggestion is to be aware of your voice tones. My BH has called me out and imitated my phone voice with my customers. I had no idea I was using a different tone with my male customers. He said to me which still haunts me.. "Gee I wish you talked to me like that". This was preA and all that so it was a random call out on my phone voice. Since then I have really made an effort to keep a normal voice. It takes practice when you don't know you do it until you have been called out on it.

Madhatters / mid 30s
2 year old beautiful daughter

Posts: 974 | Registered: Jul 2012

SurprisinglyOkay♀ 36684Member # 36684

Posted: 1:22 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013

MUC ^^^ post 666!!!!

I wasn't meaning anything by it and wasn't doing it intentionally.

I'm really taking a look at this right now!

I'm looking at how I come across. Just because I'm not outwardly flirting, does not mean that I'm acting appropriately.
I think it's going to take a hell of a lot of self awareness!!!

There was a thread started about boundaries a few days ago (by me).
It's called Another Boundary Thread... There might be some helpful responses there.

How about using a digital recorder to record your voice as you talk on the phone for a while? Then go back and play it back listening to your voice. We frequently have no idea how we sound or even what we are saying as we say it. Listening afterward can be a real eye opener.

If you need more details in order to understand better, I will provide.

It was a call center agent that I talked to.

I guess why do you now think it was a boundary crossing? Was personal info shared?

No personal information was shared. I just feel that I crossed a line of talking to someone on the phone. I guess I just feel like I was too friendly while talking to him.

MUC:

It was a guy from a call center.

Whenever I talk on the phone, I don't really pay attention how I talk or the tone in my voice. I honestly never realized it until my husband pointed it out to me after that call. I guess that is something I do have to pay attention to.

broevil:

Just because I'm not outwardly flirting, does not mean that I'm acting appropriately.

You are right. I never thought about it that way.

I am going to go and read your thread about boundaries.

Listeningclosely:

That sounds like it might be a good idea. That way I could analyze what is said and how it is said. Thank you for the suggestion.

Thank you everyone for your responses. It has given me something to think about and look at about myself.