Rich Archbold: Despite tragedies, Mom still stands

By almost any account, Melanie Washington should be a bitter, angry woman.

She was raped when she was a young girl. At age 10, she witnessed the murders of her mother and sister by her stepfather. She says when he turned to her, his gun jammed and she escaped with her life.

After graduating from high school, she married an abusive man who later was killed by a gang member. But that wasn't the end of tragic events in Melanie's life.

In 1995, Dee, 19, one of Melanie's three sons, was shot and killed by Donte Carothers, a gang member her son had befriended and was trying to mentor.

All of this violence sent Melanie into a downward spiral.

"I hated life," she told me. "I had been weaned on blame. Since childhood, I had experienced so much pain and suffering that the only thing I knew was to point a finger at myself."

She hit rock bottom and tried to commit suicide but failed. With the help of God and others, she started pulling herself out of the depths and did the unthinkable. She went to the prison where her son's killer was. Not only did she meet with him, she befriended him and continues to this day to correspond with him.

In 1999 she formed Mentoring: A Touch From Above, a Long Beach-based nonprofit organization to provide mentoring and other services for young people incarcerated in the California Youth Authority system and juvenile detention centers like Los Padrinos in Downey.

I recently went with Melanie on one of her visits to youths at Los Padrinos. It was an eye-opening experience.

Los Padrinos opened in 1957 as the second-oldest juvenile detention facility in Los Angeles County. Youths are housed there while awaiting court action or transfer to another probation facility such as juvenile camp or a commitment at the California Youth Authority.

Melanie likes going to Los Padrinos because she feels she can have more influence on these young people before they get into deeper trouble.

We entered a room with about 20 young men watching TV. With no fanfare, Melanie introduces herself and starts talking.

"You don't belong in this place. You're young men. You were doing it your own way, but you can do better with your lives."

She doesn't pull any punches.

"You're going to have to learn to live in the world with other people. If you don't straighten out, your next trip will be to the penitentiary," she tells them.

At this point, I sense the young men are not fully listening to Melanie. Melanie has been through this many times with other young men and, almost as if she's reading their minds, she responds: "About this time, you're probably wondering who is this crazy woman. She seems like she wants to help us, but what does she know?"

Melanie then tells them about the tragedies in her life. That gets their attention.

"You need a plan to get out of here," she says. "Do you have a plan?"

A youth raises his hand and says he wants to get into politics.

"Do you want to be president?" Melanie asks.

Young man: "Oh, no."

"Why not?" Melanie responds. "Don't let anybody hold you back. You can do anything you set your mind to if you work hard enough."

She continues: "You have to learn to forgive yourself. Get rid of your anger and bitterness. Forgive your parents. Forgive your enemies. I had to forgive the boy who killed my boy and shot his face off. I asked him why he shot my boy and he said he got tired of my son telling him to go to school. I'll never get over the loss of my son, but I had to forgive that boy. He's 32 now and he'll die in prison. You don't want that happening to you. I'm doing this for my son. God is allowing me to do that."

Melanie then tells the youths that she is writing a book, "Standing in the Midst of a Storm."

"We all go through storms, and it never ends, but we must face them," she says. She asks the youths to stand. She says she's going to ask them a question to which they should respond, "Standing."

"How are you doing?" she asks.

"Standing," the youths reply softly.

"Are you tired? You're young men. I asked you how are you doing?" Melanie says.

"STANDING!" the youths shout in loud unison.

"That's better. You did good," Melanie says to the beaming boys, proud that they have pleased this woman whose name they didn't even know one hour before.

Melanie finishes her session with a prayer and a soft, "I love you."

Will this turn their young lives around? Melanie hopes it helps.

Supporters such as attorney Skip Keesal know it will. He received the Humanitarian Award at MATFA's annual dinner last week.

"Melanie is doing something really good. I can't imagine a better mission in life, especially with all the difficulties and pain she has encountered," Keesal said.

Melanie adds: "A lot of people say there is no hope for youth these days. I want to prove them wrong."

If you want to help Melanie as a volunteer or donate to MATFA, you can call her at 562-490-2402.