JFK assassination a collective memory for American children

By Sarah LeTrent, CNN

Updated 1331 GMT (2131 HKT) March 31, 2014

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Photos:Where were you on November 22, 1963?

Where were you on November 22, 1963? – Paula Matuskey, 15 years old: "Shocked, we looked across the room at each other, in total disbelief. Even hardened football players who were in our class were visibly crying. And somehow, even that early, some of us knew that this was going to forever change our society, our expectations and our country."

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Photos:Where were you on November 22, 1963?

Where were you on November 22, 1963? – Gail Powell, 8 years old: "I do recall that I was going to the elementary school cafeteria to get lunch and I could hear a radio playing. One of the cafeteria workers was crying! I asked someone what was going on and I will never forget what I heard: 'The President has been shot.' "

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Photos:Where were you on November 22, 1963?

Where were you on November 22, 1963? – Kathi Cordsen, 11 years old: "I didn't know much about death, I never knew anyone that had died, it just wasn't a part of my life's experience. I started crying, thoughts of Caroline and John John raced in my head. I was embarrassed that I was crying so I ducked my head under my desk. I soon learned I wasn't the only one crying, even the boy in front of me was."

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Photos:Where were you on November 22, 1963?

Where were you on November 22, 1963? – Marcia Wendorf, 13 years old: "As usual, my mind was wandering when the classroom door opened and a girl popped her head in. This was unusual, the algebra teacher didn't brook any shenanigans in her classroom. We all swiveled our gaze to the girl, who said that President Kennedy had been shot."

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Photos:Where were you on November 22, 1963?

Where were you on November 22, 1963? – Natalie Montanaro, 5 years old: "My parents were not ones to share adult talk with us and so the way I heard was by the newscasters. The constant airing of the 'ask not what your country can do for you' speech did leave a lasting impression."

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Photos:Where were you on November 22, 1963?

Where were you on November 22, 1963? – Harry Pandolfino, 9 years old: "There was a sudden crackling on the school PA system, the sound of the mic being put up against a radio. And then we heard the news. We were all herded into the church to pray, then released early from school."

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Photos:Where were you on November 22, 1963?

Where were you on November 22, 1963? – Derek Farthing, third grade: "The school's janitor came to the door and in a low voice spoke to Ms. Melvin, my third grade teacher. Her hands rose to cover her face and to still her sudden-shocked voice from raising our concerns. After composing herself, she turned to us and stated, 'The President, President Kennedy, was shot and killed in Dallas, Texas.' "

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Story highlights

Many children of the '60s can recall exactly where they were on November 22, 1963

Experts call JFK's assassination a "flashbulb memory," which sticks in the collective mind

Because of TV, American families felt they knew JFK and were devastated at his loss

As the 1961 Lincoln Continental convertible rolled down Elm Street in Dealey Plaza, three shots rang out in Dallas, their echoes lodging in the memories of America's youth for years to come.

Derek L. Farthing was in third grade in Jersey City, New Jersey, when the school's janitor came to tell his teacher, Ms. Melvin, the horrific news.

"Her hands rose to cover her face and to still her ... shocked voice from raising our concerns," he told CNN iReport. "After composing herself, she turned to us and stated, 'The President, President Kennedy, was shot and killed in Dallas, Texas.'"

Amid cloudy conspiracy theories swirling around the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy on November 22, 1963, many baby boomers have a moment of clarity from that day; they remember where they were when Camelot fell.

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Photos:Photos: John F. Kennedy's funeral

Photos:Photos: John F. Kennedy's funeral

John F. Kennedy's funeral – On November 22, 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated while in a presidential motorcade in Dallas. Pictured, Kennedy's widow, Jacqueline Kennedy, children, Caroline and John, and mother, Rose Kennedy, behind, wait outside St. Matthew's Cathedral for the procession to the cemetery during his funeral on November 25.

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Photos:Photos: John F. Kennedy's funeral

John F. Kennedy's funeral – On November 22, 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated while in a presidential motorcade in Dallas. Pictured, Kennedy's widow, Jacqueline Kennedy, children, Caroline and John, and mother, Rose Kennedy, behind, wait outside St. Matthew's Cathedral for the procession to the cemetery during his funeral on November 25.

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Photos:Photos: John F. Kennedy's funeral

John F. Kennedy's funeral – Kennedy's flag-draped casket lies in state in Washington.

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Photos:Photos: John F. Kennedy's funeral

John F. Kennedy's funeral – John F. Kennedy's flag-draped casket lies in state in Washington.

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Photos:Photos: John F. Kennedy's funeral

John F. Kennedy's funeral – A horse-drawn caisson bears the body of President John F. Kennedy into Arlington National Cemetery.

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Photos:Photos: John F. Kennedy's funeral

John F. Kennedy's funeral – John F. Kennedy's widow, Jacqueline Kennedy, and brother Robert Kennedy attend his funeral at Arlington National Cemetery. See the complete gallery of photos at LIFE.com.

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Flashbulb memories, as they're called by memory experts, are vivid remembrances of significant events; a mental snapshot of the who, what, when and where -- and the emotional fallout.

These memories, according to neuroscience writer and professor W.R. Klemm, can be particularly reinforced by the images associated with them.

Kennedy was the first TV-ready president. His charismatic good looks were a deciding factor in an early debate victory over Richard Nixon, and he went on to use television to deliver unprecedented live press conferences to the American people.

"Before that dreadful day, we worried about whether we could dye our peau de soie shoes the exact same color as our party dresses, and whether we could get a nice bouffant," Marcia Wendorf told CNN iReport; she was 13 at the time.

Children who previously hadn't a care in the world now knew death firsthand.

Kathi Cordsen, who was 11 then, told iReport: "More fear came over me when Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald, because what came into my head was this was going to keep going and going until finally they kill every man -- including my dad. I was so emotional and very afraid."

CNN iReporter Gail Powell was just 8 years old when America's 35th president was assassinated on that sunny November day.

"What upset me the most was seeing my mother so upset about what happened to Kennedy," Powell told CNN. "I was young, but I understood enough that something terrible had happened and that many people were very sad."

Klemm said memory is reinforced by dramatic circumstances, "and this was certainly an emotionally charged circumstance."

For many children of the '60s, the assassination was also the first national event played out on television, its scenes repeatedly flashing onscreen over several days. Even on this day 50 years later, the images remain instantly recognizable. Klemm said this repeating retrieval of a memory only strengthens it in the brain.

These types of memories are similar to what later generations would experience after images were played on TV news of the second airplane crashing into the World Trade Center or of Columbine High School students running out of the building with their hands in the air. For some, it's even O.J. Simpson's white Ford Bronco leading a slow-speed chase on Interstate 405.

Oliker said a powerful reaction from a parent or another adult also makes a huge difference in how children encode a memory.

Then-5-year-old Natalie Montanaro remembers having to go to bed early on that day in 1963, amid the hushed whispers of her parents in the next room.

"Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." The iReporter remembers those words replayed over and over. She would later join the Peace Corps, which Kennedy established in 1961, to commit to that promise.

For many children, the events of November 22 signaled their loss of innocence most of all.

"Back in that era, prior to JFK's death, I think we lived in an idealized world, where it seemed that all things were possible, that nothing was foreclosed, and certainly that a presidential assassination was not even possible," Paula Matuskey, who was 15, told CNN's iReport. "It was an exciting time, in other words, and a pretty happy time."

Farthing echoed her sentiment: "I believe that the death of President Kennedy gave more awareness that there was more to just where I lived. I became more aware of the nation and the world."

Where were you when you learned of John F. Kennedy's assassination? Please share your experience in the comments below.