Career Opportunities For Losers and Lazy People

Guinea pig for pharmaceutical companies testing out new drugs

If you’re not afraid of the possible side effects, permanent nerve damage or even dying this job is perfect for you. It pays well and thanks to your participation you’ll be saving the life of an actual Guinea Pig.

This job is perfect for lazy people and losers. If you never learned to read and refuse to learn how to read, or learn any skills that may result in you being gainfully employed, then contact your local Fortune 500 Pharmaceutical company and let them know that you’ve given up on life, oops, we mean that you’d love to help them test new drugs that can possibly result in the saving of millions of lives. Your altruism will deeply move the drug maker. They will hire you instantly. well after you’ve signed a contract that states that they aren’t responsible for any injury you may sustain to your nervous or digestive systems, for any blindness that may result from the testing, impotence and especially if you happen to die. After that’s out the way they’ll pay for your lunch and begin to provide you with all types of prototypes of new drugs that haven’t and probably will never hit the market, or that have not or probably will never be FDA approved. But who cares about such trifling matters you are making easy money for not doing anything.