Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Kitten impossible: A new ****** Bonkers is coming soon! (Plus a naming poll - of sorts!)

The Bonkers kitten is at the top!

I watched an interesting TV programme last night, in which the producers deprived three teenage girls of their smartphones for 48 hours to see if they would cope. The trio were using them anything from 3 to 5+ hours a day. I mention this because for the past three weeks, I have been surfing kittens on the Internet - yes, in our technologically advanced era of online dating and the like, surfing kittens is also a 'thing'! - for a good few hours a day at a guess. For nearly three years on from the demise of Charlie Bonkers, I was on a mission to find another furry companion to fill the cat-shaped hole in my life - of which, over time, I was becoming more acutely aware - however my very specific criteria were rendering the search quite tricky.

You see, owing to some upcoming travel plans, there were only two possible windows for the receipt of said kitten. Then it needed to be based within a drivable distance for the pick up and to be aged between 8-10 weeks at that point (I was reluctant to miss too much of the short uber-cuteness window!). It also needed to have been well cared for in the early weeks of life, not to have long hair (two of my friends had impressed upon me the high maintenance nature of extra fluffy cats), and not to be too expensive. For there is usually a cost involved, even when rehoming a cat from a rescue centre. And reading between the lines, the vast majority of '£0 cats' in the classified ads came with baggage - and I am not just talking about their own basket and scratching post. So some cost was actually a kind of reassurance, while too much stood out as flagrant monetising. (Unless you are talking a pedigree, who are obviously in a different price league.) Additionally I didn't want the cat to be 'too pointy' or hairless - that ruled out the admittedly rather small category of Sphynx cats! - and I wanted the kitten to be the perfect mix of outgoing and friendly, but not so exuberant as to be likely to rip the furniture to shreds. And not too highly strung or moody. Oh, and not too vocal. Not that such personality traits can necessarily be determined in advance. ;).

The late Charlie Bonkers snoozing in the sun

And most importantly of all - and arguably most shallowly of me, you could say! - I had very specific criteria in terms of the animal's markings...partly based on general aesthetics and partly on my cat owning history ie I didn't want to adopt a kitten who looked similar to one I had had in the past. This narrowed the field to tabby and white or orange/ginger and white, and that was about it! In my capacity as market researcher I would observe that about half the cats in Britain appear to be black or black and white. I already feed a black cat belonging to a friend, and in my street you are never more than six foot away from a black and white cat, most of whom I pet in passing if they will let me, so the monochrome box is well and truly ticked already. This undoubtedly made the search heaps more difficult than it would have been if my colour preferences had been more flexible.

Charlie and Miro - 1995

Now it is 20 years ago since I last rehomed a pair of kittens, and back then you would get word of a litter through friends of friends of friends, postcards in shop windows, the vet's, or ads in local papers. There have of course always been rescue centres as another route, but what has changed in the intervening time is the explosion of online ad sites such as Gumtree and Preloved and many more. I did put my name down with several rescue centres, who promised to get in touch - in the first instance to vet my house and street for their suitability, however, with one exception they didn't get back to me. This was doubtless for very good reasons ie that they were busy rescuing bags of kittens from dustbins or what have you, but it meant that I felt quite passive in the process, and there was a chance that they might never contact me - or have a kitten answering my draconian description! - in my critical window for taking one home. So I dived back into the private sector, to have more control of my options - and more choice to start with.

And in the course of my exhaustive - and exhausting! - googling of kittens I quickly realised that as with estate agent speak, there is also a kind of jargon at work here...

'Stunning! gorgeous!' - unremarkable with one rheumy eye'Last one remaining!' - as above'Looking for its forever home' - as above, with possible added behavioural difficulties
'Playful' - will bite your hand off
'Will hopefully soon be litter trained' - behavioural difficulties already apparent
'URGENT - must go asap!' - the landlord is throwing us out
'Comes with scratching post and carrying basket' - it's a complete psycho and I never want to own a cat again.
'Has been socialised around children' - the poor creature is traumatised from having fingers constantly poked in its ears.

The photographs in the ads were of very mixed quality too. The ones where the kitten was very small and distant or completely absent were of particular concern. They should perhaps have had the caption 'Stunning! Very mobile!' In other cases the kitten pictured was at the peak of its cute phase, but a closer correlation of birth and current dates revealed that it was in fact a year and a half, and proving difficult to shift.

Then on Sunday I spotted a picture which caught my eye of three very new kittens curled up together. Posting an image of a kitten that new is quite high risk, as they can resemble furry slugs/stoats/sausage-shaped draught excluders, but this litter was so pretty that extreme youth was no barrier to their appeal. I booked a slot to view them on Monday, with a pale tabby particularly in mind, and the face-to-face encounter with this tiny, fragile, cheeping creature clinched the deal.

So for the next seven weeks I will be known as 'Vanessa White Tabby' in the contacts of a lady in Leicester's phone. The pictures show the kitten's mum Nala, and I also met its granny, Daisy. Oh yes...the little thing is only 8 days old but already has that reassuring 'M' for 'Musson' on her head. ;) And a bonus white tummy.

Mum Nala, working the black eyeliner!

So the next job is of course to choose a name for the new ****** Bonkers. I have a few favourite contenders, but thought I would share the (still rather long!) shortlist with readers in case you could tip me one way or another with your own leanings - or indeed think of something completely new.

Truffle - combines confectionery with a 'riffling through fur' kind of term. A friend also pointed out that it would work well 'shouted in anger'.

Shimna - a favourite river in Northern Ireland, in which I would like my ashes scattered one day.

Floozy - suggested by Tara, and makes me smile every time I say it. Could easily be shouted in anger, say if the kitten persists in having her legs in the air (scroll down...!).

Crumpet / Trollop - variants of Floozy ;)

Moth - I just like the delicate flutteriness of this one, plus there will hopefully be a future launch by Papillon called 'White Moth'.

Tilde - kitten has wiggly lines on the side of her head. Also sounds reminiscent of Tilda Swinton, who is no bad role model. Here is my rather whimsical review of Like This!

Sable - the epitome of furry luxury

Cinta - Indonesian for love, and a shortened form of the Spanish Jacinta, meaning hyacinth. It is also a variant of the Spanish for Cynthia (and the kitten looks like a bit of a madam all right!). Finally, there is a cute tiger cub in London Zoo of this name. Pronounced 'Ceenta'.

Pernod - the kitten's fur is currently the same sort of milky/cloudy colour, plus the name contains a homonym of 'purr'.

Latte - as above, and sounds like 'catty'.

What is she like?!?!

Mizzle / Wevet / Dimpse - it's a Farrow & Ball thing...;)

Marble - her markings looks a bit like one?

Shale - evokes the idea of geological striations, but with unfortunate connotations of fracking!

79 comments:

Haha - that's not unlike having a cat called 'Cat'. If I were more of a Pratchett fan I could see its straightforward appeal. ;) Ex-Mr Bonkers has come through with Marmite and Dribble, two resident cats we encountered in a B & B in York. I do feel Marmite should ideally be black, while Dribble might give it ideas. Like calling it Scratch?

Congratulations, Vanessa!And wow, what a lot of names to choose from!With dogs, the family tradition is to choose a name beginning with the letter S. With cats, I usually name them after a book I recently read or a movie I recently watched (authors, actors, character names...)xo

I know it sounds an awful lot, though I have a small subset within that that I am really drawn to. I like your family traditions, though I think to start adding books or film characters into the mix might totally tip me over the edge! Especially as I have been mostly watching back episodes of Breaking Bad. Skyler doesn't really work for me, haha. xx

ooh - so many wonderful names!! Floozy makes me smile too..And mizzle! At one point while naming Boxwalla. Mizzling was in my long list - I thought that was a cute coincidence!

NOT Allegra which is the name of a painkiller here..Actually come to think of it- That's not a bad association..:)

My favorites from this list:

1. Truffle!! - the 'ruffling' fur aspect is a huge part of the appeal2. Shimna - I always love hearing why you love this name.3. Floozy - though she may not thank you when the other kitties tease her..:-)4. Polenta - for some reason, I really like how this rolls off the tongue while I imagine addressing a cat

Thanks for your very considered response to the name suggestions, and what fun about your considering Mizzling for Boxwalla. Boxwalla itself simply can't be beat, mind. ;)

I did notice that Allegra was some kind of drug Stateside, but didn't inquire further. A kitten is soothing, I guess!

Your favourites are amongst my own top choices. I nearly posted a picture of the Shimna river but if you google it - also using the search term 'Hermitage' - you will get a view of my most nostalgic spot - a little turret-y lodge overlooking the river that I used to play in as a kid - we had a caravan in this area you see - Tollymore Forest Park.

I'll google that..The first time I heard of it was when you proposed the name on Natalie's blog for a contest (I voted for it, I think..:). It is such a beautiful association. We just have to figure out if it suits the kitteh!

Well, well - I must be instinctively consistent, as I had quite forgotten having mentioned the word Shimna before in the blogosphere. It is a most atmospheric place, certainly. I also like Shiva, but that is a male deity, I gather.

I thought Bronte was one of those names - like Dakota and Cameron - that girls might have these days? It wasn't a particular fave though. Unfortunately a friend of mine has bad associations with the name Emily, so will have to give that one a miss. ;)

Ah - yes - I can see that regarding Bronte. Yes - then Emily is out. I have that problem with Viola. Like the name. a lot. but not a certain person with that name..:). But maybe your kitty will help erase the association!

Sorry you have issues with Viola, hehe. I must say I am also not quite sure where the emphasis comes - whether on the first or second syllable. I think the first, and the second for the musical instrument of that name. ;)

Oh! Naming is the best part! I like to say the potential names aloud. You will be saying the chosen one quite a lot, and in my opinion it should be short and fun to say. I love the word Halcyon, and once made the terrible mistake of choosing it as the name for a sweet labrador retriever. Even the shortened "Halcy" was clumsy as can be!

From your list, I love these the most, in no particular order:

Shimna, because it's so special to you and because "Shimmy" is a cute nickname if she ends up with pole-dancing tendencies.

Tilde, because it would make an adorable name, relates to her markings, and is a nod to your writing prowess.

Cinta, because it's really fun to say and is flower/perfume related.

Viola, because it's flower-related, old-fashioned, and a beautiful word.

I love your detailed run down of your favoured names! And what a funny story about Halcyon. Saying the name aloud is key, as well as checking that it matches the kitten's general appearance when she is a bit older. Some of the names I like a lot may turn out to be too 'heavy' in the end, for example. ;)

Oh, and as well as Tilde, I did jokingly toy with a few other grammatical terms. Something like 'caesura' or 'diaeresis' would fall into the Halcyon category of impracticality, no question. Comma was perhaps the only contender. Certainly not colon!

I'm very happy that you have found HER. Now, please promise me, whatever you do, not to name her poubelle, that's just nasty!I like 'normal' human names for cats, Tilde/Tilda/Prudence are lovely. Mael throws a Margaux/Margot in the ring and I'll fly the German flag with Lotti/Lotte. But I think you'll have to see her when she's a bit older to make a decision, may be even wait until she lived with you for a few days. We changed Russell's name three times in the first 2 days before we settled for it.

Ah yes, I remember that you like normal names - like Gaia Fishler, indeed, with her enormous cat tribe. I used to feed a cat called Prudence belonging to a neighbour - she was very loving and occasionally draped herself across my shoulders (I have a photo somewhere) - which may be why I lit upon that name, possibly shortened to Prue. Margaux is nice, and sounds exotic, like those Hemingway girls with the eyebrows. Lottie was bubbling under this list, as was Polly.

And you are absolutely right that I may need to take time before committing to a name. Interesting to learn that Russell's took a while to 'bed in'.

An actor here had a dog called the Danish equivalent to 'Kitty' ;-) On that note I find Sable really sweet.I love Salome for those ancestral reasons, Pernod (Purrnod is great too, but more of a male name) Latte!!! (you as a good German speaker? Don't go there)The kitten is purrfect, and her mother is just the most beautiful little feline. Congrats!

Killing??! Haha - I seem to remember a dark Scandiwegian thriller of that name...;)

Sable is nice, though I worry about the connotations of claws. Or maybe I am getting muddled with the sabre-toothed tiger, haha. Hold on, it's a kind of weasel! Still, they can be a bit scratchy, and we don't want to encourage that kind of behaviour at all.

OMG, I just googled the German meanings of Latte. I may be a German speaker, but not that kind of German. I don't want to have a blog called 'Bonkers about Perfume' without the 'k'....;)

She is gorgeous and so is her momma! My vote goes to either Mizzle or Moth but I agree, you should probably live with her a bit first. As for saying them aloud, I tend to call my cats so many nicknames that are completely unrelated to their real names that I wouldn't worry about it if it doesn't shorten well. I also really like Allegra. It's actually the name of an antihistamine in the U.S. but I've always thought of a rather posh, ash blonde beauty first, then remembered its pharmaceutical connotations.Lucky for you to have this much time to think about it. You probably won't end up with two cats named after small towns in Southern Missouri, which is what happens when my husband picks the names. I really thought he was joking when we passed the exit sign and he said "those would be great names for cats".

Thanks for dropping by! Interested to get your take on the naming exercise with votes for Mizzle and Moth - I do think I can whittle the list a bit between now and then, but the final choice has to be roadtested on the actual kitten. ;)

An antihistamine, okay, haha. I must say Allegra is also a willowy, posh blonde in my imagination, of which the kitten may turn out to be the feline equivalent. ;)

And now I absolutely need to know what those towns were called in Southern Missouri...! I may have to get my Rand McNally atlas out right now and see if I can second guess your husband's snap choices. ;)

Aurora and Ozark? I had a sock monkey shipped from Ozark - well, if it was that Ozark...And there is an Aurora in Illinois of course. I also liked the sound of Tuscumbia, but that was a bit further north. Oh boy, rich pickings indeed!

Ha! No secret about their names, I just didn't want to babble away about my cuties. I doubt you would guess, we're talking very small towns They are named Doolittle and Newburg. Doolittle turned out to be female (she's a ginger so we assumed otherwise) but by the time she was tame enough for us to check, the name had stuck. Newburg is a handsome, somewhat oriental looking tuxedo boy. The other two girls are named Amelia (Pond because she's a scrawny, adventurous ginger) and Haineko.

Hi again, babble away for me, haha. Doolittle and Newburg are also great names! Tuxedo boy I have learnt in my googling is a black and white with particular markings? You have four cats? I had to google Amelia Pond (shame on me) and Haineko. Very original choices, I must say. Amelia is also nice as a regular girl's name.

We have four sixteen-week old rescue kittens, which is the trouble equivalent of about 16 monkeys. They are getting their secondary teeth right now and are super grouchy and chewing everything. One will go to live with a cousin soon, but the plan is to keep the other three, yikes!

I like Mizzle and Wevet because of Farrow & Ball. (Wish F&B were more available this side of the pond.) But I'm not sure how well they roll off the tongue when calling out. I very much like Cinta for it's meaning. Once you have the kitten at home, I am sure you will know what to name her. Hope she brings you love and joy.

I feel just the same about Mizzle and Wevet - they may be lacking on the 'sayability' front. ;) I am sure it will be easier to find a name with an actual kitten before me. Thanks for the good wishes - I am very much looking forward to this new chapter.

She is very beautiful, V! I'm so happy for you!I really like Polenta since I adore the ingeniously named Couscous. Quinoa might be another grainy option. ;)If I had a male cat, I'd go for Cecil or Cyrus - love these names. My late cat's full name was Ottilie Rudolfine Gottfrieda and she absolutely lived up to it. ;)Non-native speaker here, but isn't Floozy a quite derogatory term?I'm sure you'll choose the right name once you live with her.

Thanks so much! Couscous is ingeniously named, so by that token Polenta is technically derivative on my part. But pretty, with a Spanish lilt to it. Quinoa did cross my mind, but could be dicey on the pronounciation front and maybe a 'bit too Waitrose' if you know what I mean. Though I have a packet of interesting mixed grains in the cupboard. ;) Basmati might be rather nice, actually. Bulgar is too leaden.

I just thought of Prune and Harissa, haha!

Your late cat's name was magnificent - comparable to Baroness Chipolata von Currywurst, if I may say so. ;)

Floozy means tart or loose woman, yes, but it is a jocular term with dippy and sweet overtones.

Oh, she's *lovely*. (and so is her mum.) Congratulations on finding the new member of your family.

And such great names. I am a big believer in starting with a short list and trying them with the cat in question to see which is the best fit for who they are. And which ones they might listen to. (I originally thought Herschel should be called Kumo--Japanese for cloud, and spider--but she was having none of it. She does, however, get called many things, as does Mymble.)

Floozy is a fabulous name. It also makes me think about the Woozy, from the Oz books. Which is a Very Good Thing--one who is most convinced of their own terror inducing nature, but it actually a slighty daft sweetheart.

I also very much like the name Tilde--with Tilly for soft days, and Matilda for high days and holidays.

Calling a cat Prudence somehow seems asking for trouble--setting her up to be the sort of cat that flings herself off high shelves. Crumpet is a fat ginger in my head. seems like a grey cat, or one with a slightly complainy-sounding meow. Salome is very grand and/or slinky.

In the absence of Cleo the poppet (who was reserved when I inquired), I am pleased with how the luck of the google turned out.

Applying the shortlist to the empirical cat is definitely the way to go. I am just having fun whittling - and expanding! - the list. I love Mymble - reminds me of the Mumbles and mimsy. And bimble!

The Woozy is a neat variant on Floozy. I note that it also has the requisite number of legs.

Tilde is quietly growing on me too, and its other versions. Prudence could be shooting myself in the foot, I see that, and Crumpet and Salome may be too 'big' in the end. Though I think the kitten could do slinky - or shimmy indeed.

Hurrah! A vote for the Baroness name. Polenta is a type of food everywhere I think, but Lady Jane Grey has a cat called Couscous so I thought confectionery, food and beverages generally might be fair game! ;)

OOOo that little kitten is just soo gorgeous. May i say that in the photo it looks as if she has a third eye at the side of her face... like a big Egyptian Ankh or is it Horus?? (unsure). Anyway it makes little kitty look very 'Mystic' (could that be a name choice?) ... that leads me on to Van Morrison's song 'Into the Mystic'. with Van Morrison being from Northern Ireland (just like myself).... the other choice would be 'Shimna'. But that's only me.... I could go on about cats but you would be here all day. Pats x

I think you may be spot on about that third eye lark - horus maybe, having googled them both? She does look mystical as a result - will be interesting to see how that changes as she grows. A Van Morrison song would be a good inspiration, as I am from Belfast myself! And we both like Shimna for local reasons. Happy to talk about cats all day too. ;) You might have missed this post about my visit to the home town from 2012. Van the Man even gets a name check, hehe.

Just read your blog post about Belfast Vanessa! I love the city. Did you ever drink in Laverys? If so you may have bumped into me at some stage. :-) Do keep posting pics of little fluffy unnamed one and keep us up to date. Happy Days! Pats :-)

It's bad form to vote for your own idea but I would be very happy if you named her Marble (adorable and fitting!). Otherwise Sable or the beautiful Cinta. I think you should follow family tradition and keep Salome for her middle name. Polenta is hilarious!Not keen on Shimna because as pretty as it is, I think the association with your final resting place is not nearly cheery enough :)

Congrats for finding a kitten! I'll vote for Marble or Mizzle, the M name seems quite fitting. :) Not quite sure about Cinta... As it is, it also means tape -as in bias tape or cassette tape - in Spanish and gives me a strangling image... Maybe it's just me. Talking about Spanish, can I add Miel (honey) or Malva (mauve) to your name list?? I'm sure you'll choose right name for your kitten soon. x

Mizzle, yes, Mizzle! It's a great name. Plus the 'le' sound at the end of the word reminds me of my beloved long gone Puddle. He was the ugliest kitten in the litter (massive head) who grew up to be the most handsome apricot coloured cat that you ever saw.

Puddle is a very sweet name, though by analogy with Hazel's concerns about Mizzle and Floozy, and my own about 'Dribble', it could give the kitten the wrong idea, hehe. I would love to see a picture of Puddle though some time - he sounds beautiful.

Not Mizzle. Too close to drizzle and pizzle, fizzle (out) and twizzle - none of them bouyant words. Floozie is rather close to Florrie (dimin of my/my mother's name) so I would feel vaguely referenced. And it's rhymes are oozy and choosy - neither of which are qualities you want in a cat.

Somehow, I cannot get my comment published. Another try.I should be all for Polenta (when having a Couscous at home already), but in fact my favorites are Shimna, Moth and Crumpet.V, I have to say, you have pretty complex criteria for finding a cat - I'm happy I did it the other way round (I was found by a cat, and he wasn't fussy...)

Sorry for your technical problems - always wise to copy your comment first as a precaution.

Interested to get your favourite names - Moth is a favourite of mine. And you are quite right that I have pretty complex criteria for finding a cat. Frankly, I have complex criteria for finding most things, hehe. You were fortunate to have been found by Couscous, I must say. ;)

I really like the name Shimna. Other suggested names like Cinta or Lotti/Lotte (or Lotta?) are names that would be easy to call out, too. Crumpet and Moth both lack the qualities I would expect in a cat's name. But I would guess they sound different to you! To me those two names would not fit an independent cat.

Polenta? Just don't go there. You do not want a fat and lazy cat, do you?

She does look very sweet and you are lucky to have found a cat without emotional baggage. Hopefully she will not use the curtains for climbing either.

Thanks for chiming in with your thoughts! You may have a point about Polenta connoting a cat who enjoys its food, hehe.

I hope the cat has no emotional baggage when I collect her. Technically she still has six weeks left in which to acquire some, but I am confident that she is in good hands in terms of her own mum, and owner.

Vanessa, I'm so happy that you found the kitten to fit your complex criteria. Congratulations! I can't wait to see a lot of pictures of her in years to come.

My favorite names from your list are Truffle and Marble: I know, it's not too inventive but I like the connection between how the cat looks and his/her name and your kitten looks exactly like a marble ball or truffle salt :)

My criteria were complex, weren't they? I know you are quite analytical in your approach to many things, but probably not as much as me when it comes to your cat-acquiring MO. ;)

I like Truffle a LOT - it may be my top contender. Marble is also nice. We shall see how her fur turns out in a few weeks' time. I have an open invitation to pop in anytime before the 8 weeks are up, but it is quite a way, so am not sure I will manage it.

True... I secretly wished for a lap cat but when we went to look for a cat I had just 2 requirements: 1) it had to be a male cat and 2) it had to be a 12-18 months old cat (I'm one of the few strange people who loves cats but doesn't really like kittens).With Rusty I got my wish and 1 of two requirements. But I must admit that 3-4 months-old kitten wasn't as bad as I was afraid it would be :)

Interesting to hear what your wishes and requirements were for Rusty. He may have been a tad young, but he has more than made up for it in model looks and being a natural on the 'catwalk', aka your dining room table etc. ;)

Congratulations on your kitten. Very sweet looking (aren't they all at that age).I'm in favour of Tilde -- a suitable name for a writer's cat. I also like that it gives you the options of Tilly/Matilda.

By the way, a perfume blogger posting about kittens and cats *is* a proper perfume post.

I like Taffeta! I had actually been toying with a few fabric-inspired names, eg Corduroy, Serge and Velvet. Organza was a bit of a mouthful but Taffeta's good. Like Tiffin! Okay, now we are getting back to food, hehe.

I always say "Corduroy" in the manner of Wally Batty in Last of the Summer Wine, elongating the "r" sounds to the max, in the Yorkshire/old Hovis ad style: Champion!

Now that you've reflected on "Taffeta", I was perhaps subliminally influenced by the Taffy possibilities of the kitty's toffee/caramel fur ... funny how the brain supplies ideas without conscious processing.

Hi Vanessa,I absolutely love "Baroness von Currywurst“ (without the Chipolata part), I will probably steal this name for anything I have to put a name on it future times!!!Mitzah is a really nice name for a cat in my opinion. (And "Alaska Winter“ for a dog…).Greetings from BerlinAnka

Hahaha, am glad you love the Baroness - I will PM you about that one. ;) Mitzah is rather a clever choice of yours, because of its perfume and leopard skin connotations, neatly combined in one elegant woman! (I had to google all of that, obviously.)

What an enchanting Mum cat! Yours will probably end up being just as lovely. I find that cat names seem not to matter as in our household there are nicknames and akas. Miss Charcoal is also La Belle Charbonne, and Jersey Girl, so whatever you choose may end up transmogrified by time and affection.

Random Musings Of A Born-Again Perfume Anorak - An Aldehydic Blend Of Passion And Irreverence!

Bonkers about Perfume

About me

I am an independent market researcher, specialising in industrial product sectors, who was struck down in early 2008 by 'sudden onset perfume mania'. 18 months later I took up blogging as a family-friendly outlet for the oddball ramblings prompted by this newfound interest in fragrance - and by my travels generally.