Baseball music, comeback albums, and local talent buyer says goodbye.

My coworker and I met back in 2011 after he had just ended a long-term relationship, moved back home and started working for the nonprofit I was managing. We developed a connection almost immediately. After some time, I gave in to my desires that I had been harboring for so long.

It was the sweetest escape. I felt comfortable giving in to his power, and also so nervous at the same time. I went back home to my fiancé that night. I knew that I could not be with him a minute longer. I sat my fiancé down to let him know that I was leaving the relationship to pursue my independence.

I wanted to be honest and tell him that I had cheated, but the words would not come past the tip of my tongue. I was afraid that he would perceive my leaving as a statement against his adequacy as a sexual partner. That was just not the case. I cheated because of lust and infatuation, not because my fiancé couldn't please me sexually.

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Anyway, now this thing with my coworker has put immense pressure on me. What used to be fun, playful, brainy chatter is now awkward silence when we are together. I don't know how to act around him at all, and I feel the same from him. When we were both attached to other people, we could say exactly what was on our minds without fear of judgment. It's like I now feel the need to impress him with my charm and wit so much that it's debilitating.

I think I know the answer to my question; however, I have always admired your opinion. Willie D, what do you think?

Awkward Silence:

The reason there was no fear of judgment between you and your coworker when you were both attached to other people was that there was no commitment to each other. When you're not in a committed relationship, you don't have the obligation that restricts freedom of action. You can do whatever you want to do, and if the person you're seeing don't like it, so what?

The awkward silence in your relationship with your coworker could be that other than sex, you really don't have anything in common. Your relationship was built on lust, not love. Love is a force of nature; it is patient, kind and unselfish. Lust is diametrically opposite.

You seem to be in a sad spiral of avoidance. Try to figure out what it is your heart genuinely wants, and apply your actions accordingly. The results we get are determined by the energy we put out.