All through high school, Laila Kazmi bore one of the most serious teenage social stigmas of the 21st century: She had a lowly flip phone.

Her friends all had smartphones, yet she could not get one until she graduated this spring. It wasn't because of a lack of desire or because of financial inability. It was because her mom said so.

And no texting, either.

"My mom's main reason for controlling the phone situation was that she believes everything is a distraction to my studies," says Laila, 17, of Hercules, who just graduated from Salesian High School in Richmond. Looking back, she begrudgingly agrees with her mother's principles. "As for apps, I feel like (not having them) did help to keep my focus on school. I see my friends spend so much time on Instagram and creating Snapchats.

Such standards may seem virtual burdens for kids and teens, but as the digital landscape expands, more parents are finding they need to set specific boundaries for kids' computer and smartphone use.

And many are doing it in writing -- actually printing out and signing hard-copy contracts with their children.

"Hard-copy documents are important," says Amy Lupold Bair, author of "Raising Digital Families for Dummies" (Wiley, $21.99), which offers downloadable sample contracts. "As parents, we plan all the time. We have documents for the baby sitter when we go out. We have a family plan in case there's a fire. Kids know rules and consequences for other important family things. This is no different."

Safety first

The rules are for safety reasons -- protecting children from predators and bullying. But a contract also helps with practical guidelines and dodging digital drama, laying out consequences when kids blow through minutes or lose an expensive phone. Experts say talking about terms and actually signing a document can help seal the deal on what's expected from whom.

Indeed, new technological issues pop up faster than those annoying banner ads on your computer screen, presenting questions no generation of parents has encountered before. While the Internet and smartphones provide vast opportunities for learning, growth and entertainment, the pitfalls are legion. Some adults are taking action. According to a survey from the Annenberg Center for the Digital Future at the University of Southern California, nearly two-thirds of parents monitor their children's Facebook visits and almost half have their passwords. Kids may hate this, but it has to be done.

"We're in uncharted territory here, technologically," Bair says. "I've been blogging about this kind of thing for five years. When I started out, my kids were still living in the world of Play-Doh and crayons and paper. They're 7 and 9 now, and it's a completely digital world once you get past the toddler stage. Now there are even apps for babies. Things have changed so quickly."

"(A contract) is a real starting point for parents to have conversations with their kids about this stuff, and summer's a great time to do it with kids out of school and getting on their devices more," says Jennifer Hanley, director of legal and policy for FOSI. "Often parents can't even keep up with some of the latest technology, so it helps to talk about their expectations -- I'll give you this tablet, but there are restrictions -- making it clear responsibilities come with it. And kids, especially the younger ones, often feel important signing a contract. It impresses upon them a sense of responsibility.

"You don't want to try to do this later, after problems start. It doesn't really work to make it up as you go."

Be advised, contract negotiations should go both ways, Hanley says, providing kids the chance to share their expectations, too -- that mom and dad aren't going to freak out and overreact if there's an issue, or that both parent and child agree to no cellphones at the dinner table. Clearly, the contract needs to be fluid as children grow and demonstrate more responsibility, experts say. It should be tailored to each family situation, each child, each age group, each technological device.

The hope is, of course, that children will honor the contract, "but teenagers can always find loopholes," Hanley adds. "At least (a contract) is a good place to start."

Nativity or naivete?

When putting together an agreement, keep it simple with some basic concepts, experts say. A printable contract at www.safekids.org notes important elements such as having kids promise not to give out personal information like addresses or phone numbers, parents' names and jobs, school names or places where the kids hang out.

Children and teens should agree that, if someone online asks to meet in person, they'll never do so without their parents' permission. People aren't always who they say they are. Kids should never give out passwords to anyone but their folks and should recognize that nothing on the Internet is private.

In addition, there are the practical issues, such as agreeing on the time of day and length of time kids can be online or use phones and whom they can call or text.

"Parents need to make decisions when a child can get his or her first phone -- what games they can play, which social media sites they can use," Bair says. "Then once a child gets a phone, what are the consequences if she breaks or loses it? Will she think it's just a way to get an upgraded device? If she's allowed to download apps, who will be paying for them?"

In Bair's own household, rules have been in place early on. For instance, the family has a Wii weekend. "We actually even spell weekend 'Wiikend,' " she says, laughing. "So the kids are only allowed to use it then. They know this is the way it is, so it precludes those conversations during the week of, 'Can we use it? Please?' "

And as her 9-year-old daughter moves toward the tween years, Bair is laying down rules for texting, such as "only being allowed to text these three friends, and Mom is able to check the messages at any time."

Of course, many parents aren't digitally inclined themselves and don't know how to access parental controls, much less keep up with what kids and teens are doing in cyberspace.

"Tech-challenged parents can learn. Still, it's more about communication (with your kids) than technical research," Bair says. "But even if you don't have a TV in the home or the latest digital devices, you can't opt out of this anymore. We crossed that threshold long ago."

Above all, know your child won't be a social pariah for the rest of his life if you don't allow him to set up a Facebook account when all of his friends do.

"When it comes to the Internet, your job as a parent is to keep your kids safe first," she says.

Online Resources:

-- www.safekids.org, which not only discusses Internet safety, but also provides information on protecting kids from traffic injuries, drownings, falls, burns, poisonings and more.

-- www.fosi.org, the Family Online Safety Institute, an international, nonprofit organization working to make the online world safer for children.