Captain's log. Stardate 12345.6 point 7

The stock market: The Final Capitalistic Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Noob. It's continuing mission: To explore strange new markets... To seek out new setups, and new profits... To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before, except for a few million or so others.

After many years of enslavement to the creditorians, I finally worked off my debt at a deli colony on the grocery planet Econo 9.

I have recently taken command of my very first trading ship. The U.S.S. Noob. It's a small rickety cash ship, only equipped with a junky worn out used Dell crt monitor, a $400.00 Walmart emachine, and a cable connection. She may not be much to look at, but she performs well under pressure.

I managed to secure trading rights with a small discount broker. It does not come with the many bells and whistles of other brokers, but the trading fees are low. With only $2100.00 of my hard earned money in my account I am ready to take on my first assignment.

My $2100.00 in my account has finally been cleared for trading. I can now for the first time ever in my life actually trade on the stock market.

I have been studying the daily price patterns of many stocks. I have noticed in almost every chart, there is a morning spike in price. I have decided to take advantage of this behavior for my first trade.

Sensors have picked up a possible trading opportunity with VG. I set a course to buy 750 shares at $2.72 9:43:10. The price slipped away to $2.73 so I cancelled the order.

Once again the price looked ripe for buying at $2.72, so I set a course to buy 750 @ 9:47:17. And again the price slipped away just as if it felt like it was in my grasp, so I cancelled that order as well.

This battle was turning out to be a tougher fight than I thought. My inexperience in the battlefield was clearly showing, but I was not going to give up quite yet.

Determined to take control of the situation I placed a bid of $2.73 @ 9:47:16. Each second that passed felt like eons. The quote raged on as if it knew I was closing in on it, resisting to give itself up to me.

Then suddenly, my screen went blank as the information was refreshing. Could it be? Did my order get filled? Then a moment later the information came back. YES! The order filled at 9:48:27. I have secured 750 shares at $2.73.

The battle was half over, but there was no time to celebrate. The tide of battle could change any second. I had to move quickly.

I immediately placed an order to sell all the VG shares at $2.76 @ 9:49:18.

The high for the day so far was $2.75. My mind was contemplating what would happon if my order does get filled at $2.76. It would mean a new high. The morning is still young, so others may feel like it could only go higher from there. The volume was already over 1,200,000, clearly this was going to be a moving stock today, at least in the morning

I modified my order to $2.77 @ 9:50:05. Now it was just a waiting game. The price kept jumping between $2.74 and $2.75 for an eternity, and for a brief moment, $2.76. The battle was looking good.

I was beginning to wonder if my logic was going to prove to be correct. The new high was set, but would it reach $2.75? Was I being over confident?

Back down to $2.75. I bit a nail. Nails taste soo good under stress.

As I spit out my nail, the screen flashed...

Could this be victory? Is this what victory looks like? Did my instincts serve me well? Time and time again, I played this fantasy battle in my mind. What my first trade would be like.

But this was no fantasy, this was for real. I just risked $2,047.00 of my own money. That's $2,047.00 worth of slicing ham, filling salad bowls, and asking humans if they would like to try a sample. Damnit people! Don't ask for me to slice you fresh peppered turkey before asking me to slice you fresh ham. I need to clean the slicer after cutting that messy peppered turkey.

I snapped out of my flashback. What awaited me was a blank screen where my position used to be. IT WAS FILLED!

At 9:55:56, the 750 shares sold for $2.77. In just about 12 minutes of trading, I managed to snag a profit of $24.10. That was the most profitable 12 minutes of work in my life, and all I had to do was press buttons.

Up 1% on my very first trade. I managed to come out alive today. Beginners luck? Perhaps. But I am invigorated for the next fight. Unfortunately, I have to wait until thursday before I can battle again.

Now I am to set a course to Econo 9 for another day of slicing meats and mopping floors.

"We Are Bork, New Market Account And Ancillary Components Have Been Detected: Amount $2071.10, Ancillary Components: 1 Sliced Ham, 1 Peppered Turkey, 1 Salad Bowl, 1 Meat Slicer, 1 Trading Newbie. All Will Be Assimilated, All Will Be Assimilated, All Will Be Assimilated".

ORDERS TO BUZZED FROM STARFLEET: "For God's sake Man, trade on a Simulator before the Market Bork isolate your presence, and zero in on your assets for the kill. If not, before you know it, you'll be down to only 1 Cheese Slicer,...and you'll have to use it to cut meat as well!.....Heaven help us!

All jokes aside, couldn't you have gained that same market experience that you had today without placing your hard earned equity at risk with a Trading Simulator? Of course you could have! Make your Newbie mistakes with Sim-dollars, and when you're taking money out of the market on a regular Sim-Basis, then use your real money account. The market is a terrible and unforgiving place to experiment and play games.

Buzzed,...Secure From General Quarters, You're Now Cleared to Proceed.