Recent Letters (blogs)

Wait for it….yep you guessed it, this is one of those – “boy bye” episodes!!! Grab some hot chocolate and relax! Why is it sometimes so difficult to walk away from things, people, relationships that are bad for us mentally, physically and emotionally? I still ask myself this question, why didn’t I just leave, was it really that hard! Surely, I should have just said “boy bye”? Right, well I didn’t! Not until a few major life changing hiccups! Ever been in that situation, and it’s just NOT WORKING. Whichever way you turn, whichever way you spin it, however you pray, however you think, , whoever you talk about it…

I walked out into the main foyer area with my 8 week old in my arms and before I even had a chance to fix my eyes on where I wanted to go (which was usually heading straight for the door), she came running towards me. “Ohhhh my gosh girl, when did you have a baby?” (1st question and she didn’t even ask if the baby was mine, obviously she knew. “Girl when did you have a baby?” (2nd Questions, this should tell you, me and this lady are not friends like that) “When did you get married, I didn’t know” (3rd question As my mother would say, “BUSY BODY”

I wish I took friendship more seriously. I wish I held dear the art of friendship and sisterhood One minute I had a variety of ‘friends’, – the sisterfriends, the bestie, the ‘I’m having a party do you want to come friend’, gist friend, career friends, church friends, cousin & family friends, the ‘I went to school with friends’ and the list goes on SUDDENLY, I found myself in a situation and I was on my own I hadn’t really made friendship an intentional part of my life, it was sort of just always there SUDDENLY, I found myself unable to go out, unable to RSVP ‘yes’ to invitations, unable…

What are your reference points, your standards? Do you have deal breakers? Are they good, do they make sense, what are they based on? How is it that you’re in a relationship and you don’t have objectives, a reference point or standards and values? I’m not talking about celebrity relationship goals, as it is evident that you don’t need to be sane or functional to be in a relationship. Who’s reference of love are you using? If you have objectives, a reference point and a standard, then you won’t have to always run around looking for answers / solutions to issues that are not new under the sun. Yes every…

Yes flowers are nice and the positive connotation they give, but THEY DO NOT EQUATE TO YOUR VALUE Love isn’t a thing you buy It doesn’t matter how many bags and shoes he buys you, if he doesn’t sacrificially love you, put your needs before his and want the best for you even if it means ending the relationship, then it’s not the right kind of love. A poor father’s daughter still knows her father loves her whether he buys her a pencil or a Gucci prom dress. Yes, love is an action displayed, but it’s more than that. I remember when I would eagerly await my birthday, Valentine’s Day,…

Marriage is something you become, remember the word – 2 become 1 – it’s actually not a joke!!! As a culture, we seem to have ensured marriage is on our bucket-list, our things to do before I’m 30, 40 list and that I believe has created a world of problems. Although, it has created an enormous amount of jobs in the events, services and catering sectors! We’ve even added ‘getting married’ to the next stage of life as if it were like a class you graduate into. Marriage isn’t something you graduate into or graduate from. It’s the one ‘course’ in which you’re forever learning. Going from grace to grace, strength to strength…

We all know that most days are hard, just trying to get out of bed, get yourself ready or maybe your kid(s). Maybe you look after an older parent or maybe you work nights and still have to get up early Regardless of why, some days are just really hard The struggle as they say is real On this particular day, I remember waking up and I had had enough I had no money, no food in the fridge (there was bread and onions), I had an 18 month old and my finances were in a mess. I was an emotional wreck and a certain ‘wolf’ I was involved with…

I made sure to only open one eye first, to check out my surroundings, for fear of it all being a dream! Where was I? Clearly all of the last 12 months of planning couldn’t have been a dream. Maybe I should just close back my eye and sleep so that I could continue enjoying the dream. Before I could think of my next move, the morning shouts occurred, but this time they were different. Usually there would be shouts of, “mummy, is it morning or still night”, “mummy my tummy hurts”, “mummy I’m hungry, mummy wake up we’ve got the school trip” etc. However, today’s words were different, “mummy…

Surely this cannot be God A 21st century Joseph? No way, not in 2014 and not in London. I remember I had just left the petrol station and the tears just rolled out. I was done. Like totally done. I was fed up of the crying, I was fed up of the shame and the multitude of problems. Everyone said they understood, but they didn’t. I might as well have been carrying a sign across my forehead that said, ‘battered and broken do not approach’. I started wailing in the car as I turned left out of the petrol station. I wasn’t crying. I was wailing. Shouting! Hitting my hands…

I picked up the phone again, it was my 10th call that morning, and with a frog like feeling in my throat I said, “hello, I heard you do wedding decorations?” “Yes we do”, the lady replied. Thank goodness I had finally managed to find someone who did wedding decorations. I could finally tick off another ‘to do’ item off my list. I had literally gotten to the point that the whole wedding planning affair was a tick box exercise. I really wasn’t interested in anything to do with wedding planning. As the lady on the phone began to question me and get some insight into our wedding plans, I…

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