hallelujah!

There’s a new report, put out by scientists, that tells me I ought to drink more red wine in order to prevent falls in older age.

Wait a second, doesn’t drinking more lead to falling down more? Proof of this can be found here and here.

It also states that you can get the same motor coordination benefits from blueberries, but really, wine or blueberries, which are you gonna choose?

I’ll just ignore the fact that it says that you’d need to drink a bottle of wine to get the same benefits as a handful of berries. Although, let’s be truthful here, I’m a lot more fun after a bottle of wine than a handful of blueberries! [Fun to laugh hysterically at when my drunk ass falls down…providing benefits to those witness to said fall and not to me, thus proving this scientific study wrong.]

However, since they’re scientists and all, I will take their advice anyway and drink more red wine. I need all the help I can get to improve my motor coordination.