A journey of discovery

So…were nearly 2 weeks into the new year and I’ve been quite busy. I have been putting things in order and basically working out where I’m going to start with all the plans I’ve made. I must say i feel great and extremely optimistic.
I received a digital SLR camera as a gift and so i have decided to take a photography course and make my passion for photography more than a hobby. I am not going to list to you everything that i am trying to do at the moment, but i will say watch this space, as i will inform you of my progress. This year i have decided that I’m not going to put aside my fears and start doing the things that i have always wanted to do, yet never thought i would be good at.

It saddens and irritates me that some people are so stuck in their ways. It’s a new year now, and i refuse to accept the same bullshit that i took from other people last year. This is a fresh start for me in many ways, but you always have those people that seem to still want to try and weigh you down – people close to me that seem to think i never get tired.
Well, new years eve i made a lot of promises to myself. I choose not to call them resolutions this year as i never seem to stick to them, but i know that if i made promises to myself i wouldn’t break them. Amongst my many promises, was the promise that i would start thinking more about myself, and accept know less than respect from anybody. If i pay you respect then i don’t see why i should not receive the same in return. I became increasingly tired of giving certain people chance after chance-listening to excuses and lies and rubbish, only to be constantly disrespected by those close to me. So i decided NO MORE. I decided to reevaluate certain friendships and other relationships. I have taken full control of my life, and decided i am now longer doing or being to please others. And those who do not like it know what they can do. Since making this perfectly clear i have noticed a change in the attitude of those around me and also in myself. I am now not so busy worrying the state of certain matters caused by others, its like a part of me has let go and almost doesn’t really care anymore. I spent so long caring and trying to make things right and got no where, so now I’m just going to think about me. I think that’s fair enough.

The new year approaches, and i embrace it with grace – strength- determination and excitement. This year has taught me a lot about, people, life and myself.
This time last year is one i don’t care to go into to much or even remember, lets just say,it wasn’t a good time for me. But i managed to find my way out of the dark and into a beautiful light. I have learnt to believe. To believe that there is a whole new world waiting out there for me, just waiting for me to find it. I have learnt not to dwell on my appearances – how things seem are not how they really are. Not to stress over my struggles, that brighter day’s are to come. I have learnt to see the beauty in everything, and to accept whatever life chooses to bless me with. For every occurrence is a blessing. Whether it be good….. or bad, a reason lies behind, – a lesson is to be learned.
This year a lot of things have been revealed to me about people, which for a moment, took me to a sad place. But i didn’t allow it to keep me there. This year i have realised just how strong a person i am. You can throw hateful- jealous words, and you can kick me, but you will never be able to hold me down.
I’ve learnt to accept who i am, I’ve learnt to love myself. To me that is my greatest achievement this year. Saying that, to some of you, you may think – “Is that all”, but it’s personal. I’ve come a long way to get here.

For the new year i plan to fully exert myself. I’m on a mission and nothings going to get in my way. I am going to create the life that i deserve. Experience the happiness that i deserve. I am going to give my son the life he deserves and plant stable roots for his future.
I am ready to say goodbye to 2008, and i thank God for it. I am now ready for 2009.

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