THE COLOR BURGUNDY

Thank you, “Criminal Minds” marathon, thank you! I recently dyed my hair a lovely dark burgundy color, and I actually left the stuff on for about an hour. A miracle! Previously, I’ve been too much of a pansy to leave the dye in over the recommended amount of time. But I have super black hair and more time is needed to achieve that certain color. I think 45 minutes is my personal limit, but during the latest attempt, I sat my butt in front of the TV and watched an episode of “Criminal Minds.” Perfect amount of time.

However, I’m not used to seeing a dark shade of burgundy whenever I look in the mirror. Previously, I’ve always had to hunt for the streaks of color in my black mane. I never really minded the streaks of super dark red that almost matched my black hair, but at the same time, I wanted something noticeable — I wanted a color different from black. While I worry my at-home attempt may not look like a professional attempt, I am happy with the color burgundy. I feel pretty. And in the end, that’s what counts.

Now, I’m going to talk about “Criminal Minds.” Charlie hates the show. He rolls his eyes whenever A&E runs a “Criminal Minds” marathon and I shriek with joy. Apparently, the crime show depresses him. The horrific topics of murder and child abuse will probably depress anyone, but Charlie believes the dialogue and stereotype characters are terrible and depressing. He has a point to an extent, but I think the show is a bit better than some of the other crime procedural shows (i.e. “Castle,” “Law & Order,” etc.). While I never watch the show during its regular scheduled timeslot — no idea — I love watching the back-to-back episodes on A&E. I’m not sure why the show entertains me so much.

And I have a question. The character Penelope Garcia is the computer genius and helps narrow down suspects and whatever. Does this type of scenario really exist? The computer genius taps the keyboard for a minute or two with a few tidbits about the suspect and then BAM! Joe Smith, you’re a serial killer. We found you! Really? Does that really happen? Here’s my version of what I see on the show:

FBI AGENT #1: Garcia, we’re looking for a male in his mid-thirties to mid-forties. He’s more than likely single — widowed or divorced.

FBI AGENT #2: Most of the murders occurred in neighboring counties near City, Florida.

FBI AGENT #1: He was probably abused as a child.

GARCIA: That narrows the search to 115 men in the three counties near City, Florida.

FBI AGENT #2: The murders started in 1980 and has occurred every so year. Who has remained in the area since 1980?

GARCIA: Seven men fit the profile.

FBI AGENT #1: Any records of child abuse among the seven men?

GARCIA: Two. Joe Blahblah and Steven Whatever. But Joe Blahblah died in 1997.