Paul Hamm, the gymnast who won a gold medal in the Athens Olympics back in 2004, was arrested in Ohio last weekend for allegedly assaulting a cab driver. Or, if you'd prefer the Daily Newsversion of this story, he "vaulted into jail over Labor Day weekend after cops said he worked over an Ohio cabbie like his own personal pommel horse."

Hamm—now an assistant gymnastics coach at Ohio State—reportedly refused to pay a $23 cab fare on his way back from partying in downtown Columbus on Saturday morning, and then "roughed up" the driver, who called the police. When they arrived, he told them he'd had "probably eight drinks" over the course of the night:

When Upper Arlington officers arrived, they found Hamm sitting in a front yard in a "highly intoxicated" state, the report said.

Cruiser video shows Hamm resisting police and telling them to let him go. At one point he tells police, "I'm gonna kill you guys."

Hamm faces three misdemeanor accounts for assault, criminal damage, and refusing to pay for a service. The Columbus Dispatch reports that he could face "a maximum penalty of six months in jail and a $1,000 fine." None of which, I'd wager, will make it into his NBC cheese reel if he pulls off a 2012 comeback in London.