FAQ

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Kpopalypse Fashion Class - school uniforms

It's coming up to Seoul Fashion Week yet again, so that's a good
excuse as any other for another episode of Kpopalypse Fashion Class!

We all know how fashion articles on other k-pop sites usually go - inaneboringlight-on-contentlist-postclickbaitbullshit.
Instead, why not experience a fashion article that has actual
information in it and experience what many other k-pop websites could
potentially be like if they stopped catering to 12-year old fuckwads?
Also as a bonus, you can either perv on the pictures of hot k-pop girls,
or learn how to look like a hot k-pop girl worth perving on by others!
Could this post be any more perfect? Read on and find out!
School uniforms, as covered previously in my writing, is classic "white-coater"
territory. To naive prudish types the school uniform might symbolise
diligence, hard work and obedience, whereas to in-the-know perverts it's
a goldmine of fap. No need to take my word for it - it's well known
that the school girl uniform is the most common dress-up fetish, and better essays than mine have spoken at length about the reasons why.

Is
the school uniform fetish a bad thing? No, of course not - all you
politically-correct cuntholes clamping down on any human activity that
is fun and interesting in the name of your own moral showboating would
do well to remember that many women like fetish-wear and in fact find it
empowering. Studies have in fact shown that:

females
consume fetish fashions because doing so allows them to experience more
positive self evaluations, and that over time these positive
evaluations result in sexual empowerment in the form of increased
control over sensual experience and sexual self presentation

So
since school uniform fap-wear is clearly an empowering force for good,
Kpopalypse is now going to show women how they can "take the power back"
by looking hot, with k-pop examples!

School uniform fetishism
comes from the Catholic schoolgirl tradition and is based on the idea
that girls are forced to act prim and proper, thus enabling their
repressed sluttiness underneath the surface. Therefore keeping styles
conservative enough to evoke this sexually oppressive tradition is a
must. The first important point is to select appropriate colours.

IU's
schoolgirl combo looks good but doesn't tap its full potential due to
the gaudy pink stripe down the middle. There's no way you can get away
with shit like that in the super-strict school settings that schoolgirl
uniform fetishism is based upon, and as a result the fourth wall of fap
is broken.

Apink's
Naeun doesn't get it right either. I don't recall "carrot-encrusted
puke" as an official school uniform colour in any school in my immediate
vicinity. The less unusual and more traditional the colours picked,
the better.

This
leads into our next point, which is "girlishness quota". That pink
thing in the front of this Wonder Girls line-up is not acceptable school
attire (although the clothes behind all meet required standards) - you
would get stabbed in the throat by sexy iljin bully girls for wearing
something like that at my old school, which isn't as appealing a death
as it sounds. Not only is the colour wrong but there's no reason to
play up the girlishness - school uniforms are based upon tough manly
military dress as they were designed to have a similar disciplinary effect
on the psyches of young ratbaggish students. Prissy pink dress-style
uniforms on girls therefore may look objectively appealing but don't cut
the mustard for schoolgirl fap purposes.

T-ara
has always been a group squarely aimed at helping men fap (hence all
the hate they get from fangirls) and T-ara's Soyeon gets the girlishness
quota right here, pushing the femininity to about the maximum allowable
limit before the schoolgirl concept breaks. Your mileage may vary - as
a general rule, broad-shouldered girls or girls with less boobs can amp
up the girlish accessorising further than those with slimmer or bustier
figures while retaining the schoolgirl effect. Another example from
the same photoshoot illustrates this:

T-ara's
Hyomin already looks very girly right from the outset so she can get
away with less fancy girly accoutrements while keeping the schoolgirl
image intact. As a seasoned clothes-designer
Hyomin knows this so her accessorising here is more minimal and
designed to "masculinise" her image and drag her back into the
schoolgirl fap zone. Put Soyeon's flower tie and hair accessory on
Hyomin instead and suddenly she's not looking like a schoolgirl anymore.

T-ara
don't always get it right though, and this leads us to our third aspect
of schoolgirl fetish which is dress length. Boram's dress here is
obviously deliberately retro and designed to take the listener back to
the days before Korea discovered democracy and fap, and with that dress
length Boram looks more like my mum than ever in this picture. My
mother even owned an identical leather school briefcase back in her
school days, which just goes to show how accurately they nailed the
historic look in this photoshoot, but when people think of schoolgirls
in a fetish sense they definitely don't mean this look.

However
it's also possible to go too far in the other direction. As the
schoolgirl look has been co-opted by the sex industry, having too short a
skirt will make you look more like a hooker, shown in the above photo
which is less of a school uniform dress, and more of a belt with
frills. Of course looking like a whore is not necessarily a bad thing
because whores are excellent, but it also means that you're not
technically looking like a schoolgirl anymore and thus the reservoir of
sex appeal and fap value that schoolgirl-fetish can tap into is somewhat
harder to access despite the extra flesh being shown.

Hyuna
demonstrates about the right minimum length here, however the frills
underneath are unfortunate - it's better to have a clear sense of where
the skirt starts and ends, because guys are dumb and easily confused,
especially when fapping.

Davichi's
Minkyung shows a superior styling of the same skirt length, and
demonstrates why she is hated by all crazy fangirls everywhere. Note
that Hyuna and Minkyung are rocking lots of curve which brings us to our
next area of interest, upper-body styling.

Nobody
in Apink is really that well-endowed but they certainly are using the
school uniform to good effect here, which is exactly what I'd expect
from k-pop's reigning queens of the white-coater concept.
Snugly-fitting white shirts can make just about anybody look busty, and
the black ties just add to the effect by providing contrast.

School
uniforms also provide the opportunity for layering which is also a
proven volume enhancer, although if you layer the same way that
everybody else does, you may not be able to compete with bustier
competition. The above photoshoot's angles have been carefully planned
so Sunny doesn't dominate, but in the real world you won't have this
advantage.

Diversification
is the solution. You don't want someone you've got your eye on to
preference somebody else just because of a simple boobs A-B comparison
test. If you want to make it harder for them to marginalise you,
utilise unique layering that maximises your assets. Things to keep in
mind:

More lines is better than less. As discussed previously
on Kpopalypse Fashion Class, a straight line accentuates whatever curve
it's up against. Note how the Apink girls above who come off as
bustiest are the ones with more trim on their clothing.

Unless you're playing with an advantage, don't unbutton the shirt. It may seem paradoxical, but the higher the neckline, the more bustiness is generated.
T-ara keep the clothing tight around their necks in the above picture
and the result is enhanced volume. Only undo buttons if you're already
ahead of the pack and are able to rock some significant cleavage.

Not
enough lines can look plain, but too much detail can also be
confusing. After School demonstrate a wide variety of styles here, some
that work and some that do not. You can actually tell who is styled
poorly here by their facial expressions.

The
final aspect is what to put on feet, and the answer is not to leave
them bare but utilise dark and high socks or stockings. This will give
your thighs maximum contrast against your shins/feet and your skirt and
bring each element forward. Consider the options modelled by Girl's Day
above to be the bare minimum for enhanced leg hotness.

Brown
Eyed Girls demonstrate the ideal situation - socks or stockings that
cut off just above the knee. This gives the same effect as stockings
and suspenders but nobody would wear stockings and suspenders to school
unless they were a mega whore, and while dressing like a whore is
excellent and strongly encouraged by Kpopalypse, it's also qualitatively
different to dressing like a schoolgirl, and if we're going for a
schoolgirl look it's importnat not to break the fourth wall of fap.
Note how the horizontal lines give extra width to their legs.

A few final points for advanced players:

Crayon
Pop's iconic tracksuit/school uniform combo is only recommended for
skilled practitioners of school uniform fap enhancement with enough
confidence/underworld connections to get away with this sort of thing
and still look cool, or at least silence any naysayers.

Male
drag can also look very hot but is a highly advanced field perhaps
worthy of a Kpopalypse Fashion Class article all its own one day. In
the meantime, only the bravest cao ni mas with the least amount of fucks
given should apply - certainly a task ideally suited to Sulli from
f(x).

Oh
and this uniform here that Yoona is wearing is a sailor-style Japanese
school uniform. These are creepy and look ugly like hessian sacks and
are only fapped to by basement-dwelling otaku and creepy old guys who
are even creepier and older than me. Do not wear under any
circumstances.

That's it for another post! Hopefully you found a sexist
asshole talking down to you for an entire blog post and telling you how
to dress when it's none of his fucking business to be sufficiently
entertaining, but if not, at least remember this post's informative
content when all the shithouse Seoul Fashion Week clickbait articles
from other sites come out! Kpopalypse will return with more bullshit
nobody cares about soon!

Lovelyz have had lots of different uniforms, they always showed lots of leg though, which is important. it's like, you know they're always wearing safety shorts, but as long as the idea is there, it's enough. helpful for quick buttplug access, too

to be fair to Gfriend, I think their concept was more like tennis outfits/PE clothes. to be unfair to Gfriend there's something creepy about them in general

as we're talking about new girl groups, Cube are coming out with a group called CLC that are doing the school uniform thinghttp://hype.my/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Cube-Entertainment-CLC-Rumoured-Members.pngthey lose points for having that one member who looks like her face has melted, though

Just to clarify, this isn't supposed to be a "who wore it best" or a "let's rate idols" thread, just a thread giving examples of ways to wear school uniforms, and ways not to. I could have easily used Lovelyz or Year 7 Class 1 or whoever.

Goddammit Qri and Minkyung. I'd sniff their butt hole if they came to me with those uniforms.Anyway here I was sitting and believing that nurse uniform was the number 1 uniform fetish. As it turns out, it's merely my opinion. Oh well, brb downloading nurse themed JAV.