August 30, 2013

There are many ways for a house to show Burbed win. One is for it to be completely overpriced, and the other is for it to be an utter crapbox. Which kind do you like better? Can’t decide? Today’s house is BOTH!

Designed with “Falling Water” in mind? We guess we could say our mid-century modern shack was designed with Monticello in mind… and yet it was a suburban tract house in fact. Only ours has fewer paper cranes.

This house also reminds us of the one yesterday: way more pictures outside than in, and no bedrooms snapped at all. Wonder why not? Maybe by deferred maintenance they really mean the owners haven’t gotten out of bed since 1953.

August 27, 2013

Yesterday’s house didn’t seem to do it for our readers, or at least the readers who enjoy commenting about properties featured on our site. So today we’re going back to a tried but true perennial: the Palo Alto crapbox, with bunus WTF pricing. And no, we don’t mean that the way you think we do.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for sending in today’s house. Oh yeah, one more thing. PENDING!

Diamond in the rough! Contractor special for a property that needs cosmetic and some possible structural intervention. Price reflects condition. Many possibilities! Don’t miss this great opportunity!

Did you say possible structural intervention? Say no more! Nothing like a real challenge to whet the appetite on a Tuesday morning, because the usual shortcomings of a busy street and Elon Musk’s Hyperloop right across from it aren’t sufficient. And if you think that would scare anyone away, think again! How many other properties on 1100 square foot lots went pending in 8 days?

We were sure than lot size was a typo until we took a look at the aerial view.

This is a one-story house, 848 square feet. Looks like a similarly-sized house shares the lot. 1100 could well be correct. But, seriously, is any price too high for your own quarter of a tenth of an acre in Palo Alto?

July 16, 2013

Yes, we love Mountain View. Not only is it Close to Google, all those highly paid Googlers can duke it out for the privilege of buying excellent properties like this one. Thanks very much to Burbed reader dollarbin for this amazing find. Oops, gone! Sorry, and thank you for playing!

Central location. Fixer upper in Mountain View CA. 3/2 Needs some TLC. 7000 sq ft lot. Home can be lived in right now but eventually needs windows and roof work. See all reports. Private back yard, fireplace in family room. Garage conversion done years ago with permits making this a large living room for your family. Ice block tiles in master shower. Needs carpeting and paint.

Take it away, dollarbin!

I don’t tour many homes these days, but this one is close and my curiosity got the best of me. Photo #8 does not do justice to the unevenness of the master bedroom floor. Don’t be fooled by the Cul-de-Sac address, the bedroom windows look right out onto busy Middlefield Rd.. This one shouldn’t stay on the market, the listing agent told me they already had an all cash offer for $800K after one day of open house, and they expected more and higher bids to come.

It’s kind of funny, I came to burbed in 2011 so I only experienced the last bubble in archive form, but it seems like these Mountain View listings are exactly like the kind of WTF listings that we saw in Palo Alto back in the early days of burbed. There might be a few of these legacy crap-shacks in PA still, but I guess now they probably are just quietly sold as teardowns, whereas prices have finally risen in MV to tempt the truly unsell-able stock onto the market.

You keep using that word, unsellable. We do not think it means what you think it means.

July 11, 2013

We’ve been spending a bit of time in the flatlands, so time to check some elevated listings. Our thanks to Burbed reader Swan for telling us about this find right off Highway 17. Oops, pending! Even properties sitting around for almost a year go Pending when someone sends them in! It’s like a Real Estate Thermos. An insulated drink holder keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold. How does it know?

In this case, a correspondent sends in a tired listing… and BOOM! Again, how does it know?

IDEAL ESTATE HOME SITE WITH DIRECT ACCESS TO HWY 17 OR OFF LAUREL ROAD. INCLUDES 1,200 SQ FT GUEST HOUSE, BARN, AND A 3,000 SQ FT FALLING DOWN MANSION. THE MANSION SITE HAS ABOUT 2 FLAT ACRES, SWEEPING MOUNTAIN AND VALLEY VIEWS, CIRCULAR DRIVEWAY, PG & E, & WATER. GUEST HOUSE HAS ABOUT 2 FLAT ACRES WITH DIRECT ACCESS TO LAUREL ROAD. SELLER WILL FINACNE W/ 25% DOWN FOR 3 YEARS.

We don’t have any architecture credentials, but still contend the top picture above is not a cabin. Now, which of the other two is the “guest house”? Perhaps this is why Swan thought we’d be interested. We certainly seem to have our choice of which crappy building not to live in.

With nothing better to do on a 100 degree day, I am looking for properties in need of some Burbed lovin’!

This may be a Burbed first, a 3000 square foot falling down mansion!!! Scotts Valley may not be RBA, but $699K (Pending!!!) for a guest house, barn, and falling down mansion on 9 acres – who cares where it is. Be sure to check out the ideal commute location!

Many potential uses/Estate Location/Equestrian Center = Great Trails, Preliminary Study Shows Location may be planted with as many as 130 acres of Grapes – Site is in BEST wine growing location = the Santa Cruz Appleation. Propety suppoorts several homes currently(4); several wells; Barns. Land may be subdividable; there are 9 APN’s Stunning Los Gatos Mountains property, Oaks, Redwoods, Madrone

Unlike the active (whoops, Pending!) listing, this older one can’t be bothered showing any buildings. It’s almost ten million square feet, who needs buildings? That’s 228 acres sitting on the market for 649 days, and only nine acres are in the listing above. That’s pretty good, it took only half the time to sell 1/25th the land! So if you subdivide this place into a Planned Unit Development with a bunch of 1,800 sf lots, you should be able to get one of them sold in only five months!

Good luck finding what happened to the rest of those properties so you can run some comps. At least the seller will FINACNE W/25% DOWN IN 3 YEARS. If you’re not sure what to do, just put that FINACNE in your Thermos. How does it know?

July 10, 2013

There is nothing wrong with ANY listing that price cannot fix. Remember that next time you find a place full of Burbed win and wonder just how the seller will unload it. Let’s take a look at a property that’s been on the market for so long, when it was listed Bush was still President.

Started at $860.5K ! And it comes with a teardown ( there’s a fee for that). Check out home prices in Windsor….

Okay, let’s check out home prices in Windsor. There’s only two for sale, and they’re both right around this price. For the same money you can get a livable house on not that much land (5-6000 sf). Obviously nobody cares about the house and everyone cares about having lots and lots of space. You can always drag a teardown over from the neighbor’s lot.

But seriously, 2,612 days on Redfin? Which brings us to the next question, we know Redfin is seven years old, because so is Burbed. So, do there exist listings that have been on the market longer than Redfin has been around?

July 8, 2013

We hope you enjoyed your four day weekend. Of course, Burbed went to work every day, and you can read the last few days’ articles while you’re avoiding yours. For today, we’ve got another example of East Bay Real Estate Win courtesy of Burbed reader J from Alameda.

Fixer upper on private lane. Uncooperative tenant, eviction in process, no show at this time. Write offer subject to viewing.

Here’s why J ventured Off the Island to send this one in:

It’s all about the listing copy on this one. It’s simple. Just write an offer. No worries about the uncooperative tenant.

We like this listing. None of this namby-pamby open house, offers will be presented at 3 am a week from Tuesday nonsense. You want to see this house? Tough. The realtard couldn’t get inside and neither can you. If you dare to buy it, you get to find out what “uncooperative” means.

June 24, 2013

Feeling a little stomped by the THERE IS NO HOUSING BUBBLE IN THE BAY AREA? Here’s a property for under $750K! There was a time when you could have bought this house with a $729K conforming loan, but then the government had to change the rules on us. Thanks very much to Burbed reader hOtSauCe from San Carlos for the find!

A 2BR 1BA single family residential located in a very desirable area west of Redwood City, near the border of Atherton. A diamond in the rough, this starter home has great potential and with some TLC and creativity, can transform into a charming house with picket fences and great curb appeal. Near Woodside Shopping Complex, transportation, school and other commercial establishments.

The house may need some TLC and creativity, but the picket fences are already there and are painted white for your convenience. Now just work on the curb appeal: check out that Streetview below, and did they have to feature the trash bins in two different listing photos?

June 14, 2013

We love featuring all kinds of Bay Area Real Estate win: the bad listing photos, the atrocious listing copy, the ridiculous pricing, the uncorrectable defects better known as location fail, the horrendous décor choices, or any other example of Realty WTF that our readers send us.

Today’s entry will start your weekend off well. While Game of Thrones just finished its third season on HBO, you can play the game on the Peninsula! Thanks very much to Burbed reader waiting_for_the_fall for this fantastic installment!

Complete fixer in great Daly City neighborhood. City approved remodel plans in place to create legal 3 bedroom 2 bath. Large corner lot close to transportation and shopping. Detached garage and private, low maintenance yard. Lots of sweat equity in this home ready for the handy buyer!

First let’s have a good look around, especially that low maintenance yard.

What does waiting_for_the_fall have to say about this charming cottage?

I got another one for you. This one is a real stinker.

Check out the steps up to both toilets. I’ve heard of toilets called thrones before, but this is taking it a bit too far. The listing history is like a roller coster. How can anyone think this crapshack (with toilet thrones!) is worth 489k?!?

If anyone buys this house at the listed price, they are mentally insane.

If everyone is high on bubbly, that’s not mental insanity. That’s a day in the Bay Area that ends with “-y”! Y for Yes We Are!

June 8, 2013

It’s the weekend! That means Open House Time! It also means we need to come up with some filler article, because everyone’s too busy planning on visiting Open Houses to spend all day commenting on Burbed.

While you visit homes and plan by how much you’ll overbid, here’s a honey for you to handle. It’s just a short drive out of the Bay Area… and out of Northern California… and out of the LA Basin… and out of the Southland. On the other hand, you literally could pay for this house with money you find under your couch cushions with the E-Z Seller Financing!

Want a secluded cabin on 5 acres next to open desert? This is the one! Has electric in street. The old cabin needs some work but hey it has got 4 walls up, just missing the room. Also on land is out house in pretty good condition. Old stove/bbq thing that is cool and looks like it could be used, inside cabin are old antique stove and sink. Seller will finance this jewel with 20% down @ 7 % interest all due 5 years. From Amboy Road go north on Meriwether Road all the way to the end then take a left on Lori Lisa Road and there is the cabin on the right side.

Jewel indeed, and all you need is $1,800! Look at all you get, in addition to this awesome listing copy!

But wait! There’s more!

Operators – we mean the seller – is, um, are standing by! As is today’s Weekend Open Thread! Let us know how deserted the Open Houses were you saw today!

May 30, 2013

Wow, we must have been more upset about that ZipRealty schools report than we thought! Threehousesin a row in the East Bay! Don’t worry, everything is back to normal now with this winner of a wigwam in Mountain View, on the best street in the whole city. It isn’t in the newly named* neighborhood of CloGo (Close to Google), but you can’t have everything. Thanks very much to Burbed reader dollarbin for smacking us upside the head. Um, we mean thanks for sending in a place that can pretend it’s in the Real Bay Area on a good day.

OZZING WITH OLD WORLD CHARM! AN OPPORTUNITY BUY A HALF-WAY REMODELED HM ON A STREET LINED BY SOME OF DONWTOWNS MOST CHARMING PROPERTIES! LG LOT W/ REAR ALLEY ACCESS, GORGEOUS BATHS WITH HIGH-END MATERIALS, HANDCRAFTED FRONT DOOR AND INTERIOR TRIM WORK, BIG KIT WAITING YOUR SPECIAL TOUCHES, HIGH CEILINGS, PARTIAL BASEMENT, MOVE RIGHT IN OR EXPAND TO THE SIDE AND/OR TO THE REAR! POTENTIAL GALORE! WOW

No wonder this place hasn’t cracked a million dollars, it’s a HALF-WAY REMODELED HM. We think they misspelled HMMM?

Also wondering what kind of BIG KIT awaits YOUR SPECIAL TOUCHES. Most KITS like to be scratched under the chin. Maybe this one is waiting for the floor to choose just one color.

Disclaimer

The posts on this weblog are provided "AS IS" with no warranties, and confer no rights. The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and only represent the view of Burbed.com's editor. Comments are the views of commenters, not Burbed. If companies, properties, etc are mentioned on this blog, you should assume that I have a financial stake in them. Trust no one.