Category Archives: Power Rankings

Great week of sports we just had guys. Chelsea FC doing the unthinkable, plenty of upsets in the charity tournament for the brain-destroying spring-centric disease, March Madness, and lot’s of hockey.

1. Semyon Varlamov

Lights out. That’s the best way to describe the play of Ninja Spider. 41 saves on St. Patricks Day at MSG? Unbelievable. I was at that game and holy wow, some of those saves were mind bottling. Kid’s gotta whole lotta glove.

2. Walking Dead/East Bound and Down

I’ve been behind on the Walking Dead, pretty much since the end of the first half of the second season (ouch my head) when Rick shot that zombie kid. But apparently this second half has been balls and people are dying and zombies are eating brains and people are finding out clues about this whole infection. I don’t know, it’s just things started to get a little ridiculous, with plot holes (HOW DID SHANE AND THAT FAT GUY GET INTO THE SCHOOL!?!? DON’T GIVE ME A GOD DAMN JUMP CUT!) and the black guy is still called “T-Bone.” Then people go off and say “But no, this last episode, SAMURAI WIELDING ZOMBIE ASSASSIN!” Oh and here I was all worried that the series was getting too incredulous. Also, isn’t everyone a zombie assassin during the zombie apocalypse? I digress

What isn’t ridiculous is this season of East Bound and Down. From having hands down the best cold opens in television to the break through performance of Stevie Jankowski, this show is really having a strong final season. I hated seeing Shane go, but the reveal of a twin brother was classic stuff. I just really hope we get some Andy Daly back before series end. Also, Lily Tomlin is perfect for Kenny Powers mom.

While the big guy got royally screwed in my opinion by the Indianapolis Colts, he’s got to stay positive and remember that he’s the prettiest girl at the ball and every guy there wants to sleep with him. Especially Jake Roberts. Peyton hasn’t made a decision as to where he wants to play football next but the biggest attractions would be Miami, Arizona, Washington or Seattle. I think it’ll be a go for Miami (that sound you just heard was TimmyP’s dick exploding) but with this guy you never know. I know money rules all but I think Peyton Manning wants to win, and Miami may not be the best place for that. I just can’t wait till next year when Andrew Luck is throwing passes out of bounds as the Colts stumble towards another lottery pick. Hope you guys enjoyed the top while you were up there.

2. Playoff Hockey

OOOOOHHHH BAAAAAABY. Things are really heating up in the Western Conference as 5 teams struggle for ultimately the last 2 spots (+ the Pacific Division winner). The Dallas Stars have become seemingly unbeatable, the San Jose Sharks are trolling everybody right now, Phoenix is still a hockey team and the LA Kings are doing there best to not make the playoffs. But the real story is the Colorado Avalanche. Arguably the winners of the trade deadline (Steve Downie and Jamie McGinn have instantly made impacts whereas TJ Galiardi is riding pine in San Jose, Winnick is basically invisible as well and Kyle Quincey plays hockey in Detroit) the Avs are clicking right now, winners of 5 of their past 7 and if it wasn’t for all those fucking teams winning ahead of them they’d be in the second season for sure. March is essentially a month of playoff hockey for all the teams I mentioned above. So if you’ve got the Center Ice Package or you stop by NBC Sports by accident and any of these teams are playing you may want to check it out.