Great news, guys, they’re going to make another Pirates of the Caribbean movie probably. Oh thank goodness! After this most recent episode (which has made one billion dollars at the box office, literally, which is an astonishing fact that is very hard for someone like me to make any sense of!) I was worried that the franchise couldn’t get any more confusing, less interesting, or visibly worn out. But ho! There may be some exhaustion juice left in this old war seahorse (get it?) yet! From TheWrap:

Johnny Depp is close to signing a deal to star in a fifth “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie, an individual close to the negotiations told TheWrap. In May, producer Jerry Bruckheimer said he was working on a fifth “Pirates” script — and that he wouldn’t make the movie without Depp.

“Hopefully, if this one does well, (Depp) will want to come back and play the character again,” Bruckheimer told the L.A. Times. “But it’s going to depend on the screenplay. It always does. He’s maniacal about not wanting to disappoint his audience.”

Haha. IS HE? Is Johnny Depp maniacal about not wanting to disappoint his audience? Can we get some doctors or scientists to back that up in court, please? Make no mistake: Johnny Depp is great, no joke. He is a very talented actor, he makes really interesting decisions both with individual characters and with his career choices in general, and other complimentary things to say about it. But I’m not sure that he’s MANIACAL about not wanting to disappoint his fans. If that were the case, maybe he wouldn’t have been so quick to make Jack Sparrow a weird, mumbling homosexual in the first place? I’m glad he did! But you know what I mean?! Even Chocolat seems like a bit of a stretch for the average Johnny Depp fan. I think? Wait, now that we are on the subject, WHO IS the average Johnny Depp fan? (That is a good question. I will take my answer off the air.) ANYHOW, enough about that. We have work to do! We have to figure out what the tagline should be for the new movie!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Kiss Of The Lobster Queen

Pirates of the Caribbean: Deepest Waters Of Magic Water

Pirates of the Caribbean: Gold Coins Pajama Party

Pirates of the Caribbean: Madea’s Ocean Reunion (Black Pirates Of The Caribbean)