Officers Mess

Over the years I have placed some rather odd things upon this Forum,but this one might safely top them all.

Having six full cans of hairspray over from an old tree topic,and wanting to recycle the cans safely for myself and the bin men,I set to and devised a method using sellotape to activate each can and then placed them in water that acted as a filter. So each full can fizzed away depressurrising themselves. No spray on Mrs B`s plants and no dangerous fumes. This is the shady part of the garden. One would never wish to do it in a spot with full sun.

"BOOOM! "

Well i cannot think anyone else would care to do likewise anyway,but my little water idea solved my problem of not breathing it in. It also gave me great peace of mind knowing others were not endangered by my actions.

So as they go into the recyling bin I know that the young guys doing the pickup work are safe from explosion. I once saw the result of such an explosion,a bathroom was blown apart because one was left on the windowsill in full sun. It went up like a fragmentation grenade blowing out a metal window,brick walls,doors and sending part of the roof sky high.

I`ll dig a deep hole with our post digger,and tip the water out safely into it. So no fear of contamination of water course either.

"Just one of BB`s, madcap idea`s!"______ " but a safe one for all concerned", said the little button. " I`ll see you guys later." BB

Worms are kept in Mrs B`s Wormary, a multilayered rubber tower holding 10.000.000 or more. "and they all have names." ___ " They do."

I picked out a nice little spot in our evergreen garden to dig,and there were certainly no worms there, as the ground was far to compacted hard in flint stone for them to chew up a way through it. Yes, a remainder of a medieval walls footing! So upon realizing the post digger would never make so much as a dint in it ,i resorted to plan B. _______________ " no! no! not plan b ?"

i used the last of the special batch of my Beano Boy C4, to blast a hole in this sharp hard spot. Upon touching it off via electric cable, in that instant showers of sparking splintered flints shot up skywards perhaps to 10.000 feet,this was followed by a tremendous thud-like boom as the sound a split second later reached my ears,right at the exact time the stone floor where i stood rose up a foot and then sunk settling down again.A thick blue blaze of smoke spiraled up from the small 10 foot crater. Far to much to use,i guess,and upon reflection a wedge the size of a blu-tac packet certainly has re-landscaped our part of Fiddle Wood. The tubful of sugar water tipped in nicely, and trickled down the side where i stood peering over the edge into what appeared to be a smoldering hole 20 foot deep or more. The stuff evaporated safely before it ever reached the bottom. Yes safety first I always say.

Mrs B,who was on the otherside of the house scrapping off Ivy from the white walls,shot down the 23 foot ladder, and came rushing through the house and asked if i`d heard that thunder?___ "No dear,i think it was a car backfiring along the St Faiths Rd." i innocently remarked. It was then that Mrs B,realized upon looking down that the back door slab of concrete was rather short of having a garden surrounding it ,or indeed ground enough in supporting it."Gosh! that sure is some sink hole" ,i said. BB