If you're anything like me, you are losing your God-loving mind right now. We are painfully close to the Pretty Little Liars Big A Reveal and things are already crazy. Mona isn't dead? The girls are in a giant dollhouse surrounded by concrete? A wants them to go to prom with each other's boyfriends? Caleb might maybe be getting arrested? Andrew is creepy AF? (Wait, that was easy. We knew that was coming.) And I'm pretty sure Ezra stubbed his toe pretty hard when he realized it was going to be pretty freaking hard to find his missing convict girlfriend. Of course, if you're finding yourself without a way to watch Pretty Little Liars live, we have you covered. Here's everything that went down in what is arguably the creepiest PLL episode in the history of time.

Before we all freak out... right into our pants, Aria-in-a-prison-van-style, let's all take a breather. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Y'all know that once we get the reveal, it's going to open a world of mental and emotional hurt. Pretty Little Liars doesn't give answers without leaving us in a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth and asking a million other questions.

Here's what we learned Tuesday night:

Mona Is Alive, Bitches

Yes, really.

She's Also Pretending to Be Ali

But it's pretty clear she's just playing A's game.

Caleb, Ezra, & Toby Are Trying To Find The Girls

Good point, Ezra.

But The Police Think Caleb Did It

Because, duh, there can only be one hacker in Rosewood. Good thinking, Officer Oblivious.

Meanwhile, Spencer Had A Dream

And solved the Charles DiLaurentis anagram that we've all known for a while. Way to catch up, Spence.

And A Had The Liars Planning Their Own Prom

From the year Ian took Melissa Hastings. OK...

But Mona Got A Gas Mask For Being A's Favorite

Ummmmm what does that mean for the Liars???

So They Had Their Prom, And It Was Weird AF

Do you want to know what it's like to attend prom with a gaggle of mannequins in freaky masks? Yeah, me neither.

Spencer Realized Charles Is A (Finally)

So she and the girls call him out. But Charles is like, hell no. So he blows out the lights.

Spencer Also Finds A Home Video Where Mrs. DiLaurentis Is Playing With Twins

Obviously, Charles is Jason's twin. See? We always knew this show had one.