There are people who have money and people who are rich.-- Coco Gabrielle Chanel

Wednesday, October 16, 1996

Life is not fair

"That’s not fair” is a favorite expression of young children. “She got a bigger cookie. It’s not fair.” “He got a purple balloon and I got a red one. It’s not fair.” I suppose in our attempt to teach our children the concepts of equity and justice, we give them the impression that life is, or should be, fair.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Life is not fair. And furthermore, we wouldn’t really want it to be. If it was, then we’d all be exactly the same. Just think how boring that would be. Everyone would have the same kind of car, the same kind of house, the same education, the same income, the same personality, the same physique, the same everything. Who would want that?

Life is not fair because life is what we make of it, and we all choose to live it differently. What is a priority for some, means nothing to others. Life could not possibly be fair unless we all conspired to make it so, and why would we want to do that? The excitement, the challenge, the variety, the essence of life comes precisely from the fact that it is not fair. Some people are born with all the advantages, and others come into life with almost nothing going for them. Is that fair? No. Does it make life worth living? Absolutely.

You have some advantages that others don’t have. And others have advantages that you don’t have. That’s just the way it is. We each have our own burdens and our own joys, from both of which we can learn and grow. When we accept the fact that life is not fair, then we begin to make it great.