Found In The West

by thoughtsonthedead

A terrifying moment earlier in the evening, Enthusiasts: informed of a new post on Lost Live Dead, this one about Philadelphia and its crucial but overlooked role in the Dead’s success, I sprinted (in an internet sense: I actually moved a finger slightly) to the site only to find it temporarily down!

Gratefully, it has been restored and we can all enjoy it; I have not read it for fear of becoming obsessed with Philadelphia before getting the Japan thing fully out of my system. I can now share with you Similarities Between Japan And Philadelphia:

You can get Japanese food in both places.

There are movie theaters.

Most people sleep at night, but some people do not because of work or other reasons.

There is rain.

Other times, it is bright and clear.

They take sports seriously.

Ninjas are feared.

A touch of psychopathy and a deep loathing of their neighbors.

If you get hit by a car hard enough, you will die.

Although, you probably got hit intentionally if it was Philly.

You angered one of them, I don’t know, why’d you go to Philly if you didn’t want to be hit by a car?

Doodies are made in both places, but in very different ways; the Japanese are beating us in the Toilet Race.

Plus the iToilet weighs and analyzes your leavings and tells you just how healthy and special you are: every yuppie asshole in the country would buy one, especially when they hear that it syncs to your phone and fitness tracker, and is a WiFi hotspot.