(This is a rough draft, unfinished at this point, and likely will be continued, if not on this page, in pages to come.)

When it comes to the wheel of well-becoming that is the process of Kheper/Xeper, it is
important that we understand the full process. There are many aspects to transformation.
Some of it is of the self-willed kind Don Webb describes quite eloquently in Xeper, The Eternal Word Of Set, in which if the
gods are involved, they are only involved as observers. Proud observers, perhaps, but only
as observers.

That is the 'good psychology' and pull yourself up by your bootstraps type of magic/heka. It
can get you quite far. But it does not represent (at least for me it does not) the full journey
of the transformational process.

(Some of you dear readers may find yourselves wildly displeased at this moment, and some
of you may be raving, YES! why hasn't she said this before?) As you might have guessed, I
never shy away from addressing, well ALMOST anything. There ARE some things that are
beyond the pale and much too private, but... Anyway, now where were we?

Ah yes, transformational process! And that poor maligned deity Osiris (aka Wesir or Ausar).
And that poor maligned deity Set (full name Setesh or Sutekh). To learn about a deity, don't
go to someone who is not a devotee of (or at least, um LIKES the deity), (for those of you
who would not ever admit to the strength of 'LIKE' that is of 'worship' strength). Yes! Horror
of horrors! I'm using the 'W' word here! (I've already lost some of you. Goodbye, if you
haven't left already.)

To those of you curious enough to proceed further to see what sorts of 'horrible' 'illogical'
'irrational' things I'm going to discuss next, Bravo! You are not afraid of an idea. You may
reject said idea, but you're willing enough to open up your mind to ponder that idea. You
ARE a true explorer.

Now where was I? (Focused entirely too much on 'what will people think', which is never a
good way to really proceed in life.)

(Deep breath.)

Avenues to explore: exploring connections between 'becoming as Osiris' and the Christian
'born again' experience. Understanding Set's role as the (so-called via Te Velde) 'daimonic
initiator'. The role of Set regarding that 'unpleasant' 'separator' hieroglyph that looks like a
'chop chop'. Yes, I never EVEN discussed this glyph in 'the book'...

More possible avenues, the singing bowls and my unhappy chakras...

The Singing Bowls and my Unhappy Chakras

That's an interesting experience, (being PERSONALLY involved, of course I find it
'interesting'). I've had so far four experiences with the singing bowls. The brass bowls come
in a variety of sizes and the practitioner has a covered wooden stick or a dowel with a
spongy thing on the end to ring them with. My chakras always respond to them, usually with
a 'Yeah, that feels good, give me MORE of that!' sensation. But last time, a couple of them
didn't have that sensation. Some of the tones felt unpleasantly jarring to both my heart chakra and throat chakra zones.

Apparently, this is not an unknown phenomenon, as the practitioners asked, 'Did any of you
feel discomfort?' One man volunteered that yes, he did, and he had the last time, too, but
that he still came back for more. I raised my hand maybe a couple of inches upwards, but
didn't want to attract attention.

A skeptical friend asked about my experience. I only answered in vague generalities,
because so many doubt the existence of the chakras. And indeed, one would, until one has
experienced these nodes of deepened 'receptivity'. There's a sense that they are both
connected with the body, and yet 'apart' from it. The uppermost one, the 'crown' chakra,
seems to touch but mostly floats above the top of the head.

Intuitively, I knew what the 'jarring' meant. I had unresolved issues involving 'heartache' and
a need to speak out. First I had to find out what the heartache was all about.
I decided to take the aid of another 'sound healing' medium, MUSIC, to guide me in my
explorative meditations. My favorite tenor guided me, and the lyrics to each of his
'Illuminations' seemed to call up a raft of feelings.

Basically, I sobbed my guts out. (Not literally, or I wouldn't be here writing this!) But through out the entire album, I meditated
and sobbed. The more I sobbed, the lighter my heart felt.

I recalled the feather of Ma'at and how it is weighed against the heart and had new
understanding of this. The mysteries of Ma'at are defined as 'balance' and 'connective justice'
and 'truth' and 'the interconnected web of life'. We are all so very interconnected. All living
beings are interconnected. We are not isolated. The young and proud might think of their
sense of 'isolation' as a keen fact. But while we are each unique beings, we are not separated
beings.

We cannot send out into the astral universe anything that does not also affect us. If we sent
out hatred, we pollute the astral air we ourselves must breathe.

This is a concept that may be unpopular in many magical circles. The nature of the 'art' of
'cursing' has a time honored history. If it was good enough for the magicians who scribed
the Papyri Graeciae Magicae back in the year 0, it must be good enough for us? Right?

Could it be that the rather extreme reaction of 'turn the other cheek' Christianity was in
response to the shananigans of these magicians, seeking work and money. They appealed to
the 'lowest common denominator'. Curse your way to fame and fortune! Get ahead in life
by making sure your competitors get behind, way, way behind!

It appeals to the ego, in a rather seductive way. We might be tempted with the idea that with
the curse, we are actually upholding Ma'at, if its target is a particularly unsavory scumbag.

Yet the venom we might transmit to that scumbag must travel through the unseen world.
Like poison emitted through the air ducts of a building, it reaches everywhere. There is no
astral gas mask that the curser can wear that keeps him isolated and safe from that poison.
It is all rather like a suicide bomber that destroys his own life to destroy that of another.

Okay, perhaps it's not that extreme. People do curse and live to tell about it. But the Ka, the
vital life force which fuels the Heka (magic) we send forth, takes a hit. The more we curse,
the harder our Ka gets hurt. Could it be that so many of our unexplained illnesses, for which
the doctors have no clue, stem from such unseen poisons?