really need some help and advice.

i've just found out i'm pregnant, it wasnt planned i actually thought i had the start of diabetes which is what i went to the doctors about, i am so tired all the time, feeling really sick and light headed, i had the tests for diabetes and they came back clear which was when the doctor asked me if i could be pregnant, i said i didnt think so because i have 3 kids already and knew before i took the test that i was with them. so i dropped a urine test in yesterday and when i rang the nurse back she said it was possitive. .

the thing is im 5ft 6 and 20stone :wave_cry:. im active and dont have any health problems normally but im just frightened that my weight is gonna cause problems and that im not gonna beable to have a normal pregnancy. im also frightened of the stigma of being so big and pregnant, even when i rang the nurse for the results yesterday she said, ''do you know what you want to do?'' and i said well i need to tell my partner first and asked if i needed to make an appointment with the doctor or midwife and she told me to ''think about it over the weekend and ring to let me know on monday so she can get the ball rolling'' does this mean she thinks i'll not want to have it because of my weight?

im just so confused, i want to be happy but im just so worried, im thinking maybes if i eat really healthy through the pregnancy then i should lose some of my extra fat weight which could only help.

anyway sorry for going on but i need to get out how im feeling and see if anyone has/is in the same situation and can give me any advice/support.

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Please try not to worry. I was 17 and a half stone when I fell pregnant with my first child and I'm only 5ft 3. I only gained a few pounds during the whole pregnancy and I ate everything I wanted, so if your sensible about what you eat your weight gain could be minimal or you may even shed a few pounds. I had no problems at all during that pregnancy and gave birth to a healthy 7lb 3 oz baby girl.

I don't think the receptionist would have been talking in relation to your weight, it was probably more to do with the fact that it wasn't planned and came as a shock to you.

Good luck with whatever you decide, but don't let your weight worry you, if your healthy normally there shouldn't be any problems.

Just also wanted to add that slimming world allow you to join whilst pregnant so that could also be an option for you.

How do you feel about a 4th child? And your situation other than weight?

Is it just your weight that is your concern? What diet were you on when you fell? And do you think slimming world would help you remain positive. There is straight healthy eating of course, but I have read that slimming world is ok while pregnant and can still register losses. If this leaves you feeling that you are more empowered and maybe even lighter in 9 months once baby has arrived then it's a big thing to consider.

BUT having said that, if you don't want to diet while pregnant no one can force you, and the medical team won't expect you not to keep your baby I'm sure. ((hugs)) She will likely have meant to get you back to your GP then midwife, they'll need to find out your dates etc at some point and start your antenatal care.

Are you taking folic acid now?

I'm 37 and tried for 8 years to get this far into pregnancy, I had given up to be honest so can totally understand the shock you are feeling right now. I had no idea i'd conceived till I spotted symptoms and tested 'in case'.

Mother nature has different idea's for us sometimes - our brains just take a bit longer to catch up that's all. Have a good chat with your loved ones about how you feel, and i'm sure that will help too.

Don't forget to hang out here! lol there are a few of us now, we're getting the section active! lol

thanks for the advice and the reply, i've just been reading through the posts in this section and its helping to see that im not the only over weight person to fall pregnant and feel like this, i was told when i had my last child that if i fell pregnant again i would be sent for a c-section because i have large babies my son was 10lb 9. my partner seems happy with the news so thats a big help, i just need to get my own head round it.

That's great news that your hubby is happy - it makes all the difference. I don't think my hubby struggled with the shock as long as I did, even now 3 weeks later I still find myself in the loo (after wiping.. sorry TMI) but sat there marvelling that AF really HASN'T arrived and I really am pregnant.. I had a scan last week due to pains and all is fine, baby had heart beat etc, I keep having to remember this as reassurance that I'm not having a phantom pregnancy! lol It had honestly crossed my mind - it's been that messed up. Don't get me wrong, I'm over the moon, and can't wait for baby to arrive - I had just given up and had always said I wouldn't have kids after 35.

Hope you don't mind my rambling, just trying to show that you're not alone! ((hugs))

i dont mind you rambling at all, its great to talk to someone about it, im glad i found this section, i've done loads of googling since yesterday and its all shock/horror stories about the problems and what can go wrong so i think i'll stop doing that now, im just gonna come on here for advice and support, i feel better already. i'm just gonna think at the end of this im gonna have a lovely little baby, what better gift than that can i get, im sure that will make me think more about not putting the rubbish food into my mouth and trying to stay as healthy as i can.

This pregnacy cames a shock to me, I already have 2 girls and thought our family was complete. It took me a long time to get my head round the idea of having another, in fact at 16 weeks I had a couple of days where I thought "Am I doing the right thing" I think it's only natural to have some uncertainty when the baby isn't planned. I'm excited about the new arrival now and think these things happen for a reason, children really are a blessing.

just got through to the nurse and you guys where right she was really nice and supportive she said if i eat healthy and stay active then she thinks i'll be fine. so i have my first midwife appointment on thursday at 1pm.

i know and im chuffed the midwife i have this time is the same one who i had with my first child and this midwife actually delivered me. :O when i was a baby, so she knows our family really well. i feel so much more positive now.

aw really glad you are feeling a bit better now I was going to say your weigh will nto be a problem at all and you will prob loose a few lbs with healthy eating etc and feel great ,great about the mw how c ool is that

aw thats brill news I feel so much better when I eat the right foods ate lots off buns over the weekend and naughty stuff and felt so sluggish was awful but sometimes cant be helped when we get the pregnancy urge lol

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