A Blog About Solving Common Relationship Dilemmas

A successful husband pays attention to what his wife is saying and finds ways to remember what she tells him.

Wives frequently complain that their spouse does not listen to them because they often forget what wives are certain that they told them. Men are not good at multi-tasking so they may really be doing or thinking something else when the conversation occurs.

Guys, when your wife wants to tell you something, pay attention to her. Either stop what you are doing (thinking about) or ask her to talk about it at another and more convenient time.

2. A successful husband talks with his spouse about what is going on in his life each day.

Women genuinely want to learn about what goes on in their spouse’s life each day so that they can feel connected and part of their daily life. John Gottman calls this “part of filling in the Love Map” … knowing your spouse’s life. Talk to your partner. Tell her what happened in your day. It is also important to be curious and attentive when she talks about her day

A successful husband learns how to be part of a conversation that feels or sounds like a disagreement or conflict.

Many people have problems with disagreements. Men often have the toughest time. When faced with a complaint by their partner, they will often freeze up, their heart will start pounding and then comes a fight or a flight. Women are not completely blameless in this pattern; however, men, learn to calm yourself and talk through differences.

A successful husband finds out his spouse’s love language and speaks to her in that way.

We all have different ways of feeling loved. It is natural to think that your partner wants the same ways of being loved that you do; and yet, that is not always the case. Learn what feels loving to her and find ways to show her in her love language.

A successful husband is grateful for the good things about his spouse and find ways to acknowledge them.

Looking at the positives are important for any time in your life. Thinking and talking about what is good brings about good feelings, positive intentions and works much quicker and faster than criticism and complaints.

A successful husband respects their spouse’s intelligence and ability to make decisions. Successful husbands treat their marriage and relationship as a partnership.

Most spouses want to be treated as an equal and respected for their ideas and opinions, even if they are not in line with what you think should be done. Collaborate and coordinate. Honor her dreams.

A successful husband pulls his share of the weight in household and child care tasks. Successful husbands remember that it is their home and these are their children just as much as they belong to their spouse.

So often I hear husband’s talk about how much help that they are around the house. Changing that thinking and talking to working together rather than “helping”. Take ownership with the home and children in all ways. If everyone does their 60%, life will only be easier and no one will keep score.

What would you add to the characteristics of a successful husband? Brag about yourself or your partner and share your experiences.

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About Us

We are two marriage and family therapists, married to each other and living in Louisville, Kentucky. We provide online as well as in person counseling for personal and relationship problems. Contact us and let us help you with your situation at CouplesCounselingofLouisville.com and Counseling Relationships Online.com.