The greatest love story of all of our lives has officially BEEN MURDERED. By a baby.

Maybe.

Today, everyone you know is FREAKING THE F--K OUT because of a report claiming that Eva Mendes, female biologically inclined to bear children and actress who starred in Hitch, has been impregnated by Ryan Gosling, your imaginary boyfriend. And the real victim in all this?

While the miracle of birth is beautiful, what was more beautiful was when Ryan Gosling dated Rachel McAdams? They made out in the rain. They made out onstage at MTV award shows. He kept picking her up. She sat on his lap at cute Canadian cafes. They told each other that if you are a bird, I'm a bird. And then they broke up. (We may be mixing up real life and The Notebook, who cares?)

And even though Rachel McAdams, ethereal goddess who radiates beauty and light and MTV Movie Awards Breakthrough Female 2004, and Ryan Gosling, hot person, have shown no signs of rekindling their epic love since they split in 2007, the Internet is pissed that Eva Mendes and the (unconfirmed) fetus that is (possibly, maybe, allegedly) growing inside her would officially mean an end for McGosling. They are PIIIIIIIIIIIIISED.

Ryan Gosling is having a child and it's not with Rachel McAdams. *sets everything on fire*