In order to establish a sustained dialogue about gender, sexuality, and gender identity on campus, Deerfield has instituted gender symposiums—a series of discussions, movie screenings, and lectures. The first symposium, on September 22, focused on “just-right dating.”

Future symposiums will feature Melissa Dickey and her story as a female writer; Nicole Lopez and her work with LGBTQ youth; a conversation about consent through an active theater presentation by Ms. Adaire Robinson and Ms. Anna Gonzales; a talk on dating at Deerfield in the digital age; a senior-only discussion in the spring about topics directly related to the transition to college; and screenings of three movies, including Miss Representation, The Mask You Live In, and The Hunting Ground.

Credit: Claire Zhang

Mrs. Caroline Savage, Associate Director of Admission and facilitator of the first symposium, hopes that “the gender symposiums… will give students a little more perspective on what their schoolmates and classmates go through.” Mrs. Savage explained that she wants all students to have an understanding of the societal expectations placed on a gender identity other than their own, and wants to “create some empathy” with this effort.

Assistant Head for Student Life Ms. Amie Creagh explained that she sees the purpose of gender symposiums as twofold: She sees them as “proactive because gender, sexuality, and gender identity are timely topics for adolescents,” and she hopes to make those topics feel “more familiar and less scary” for students.
The other intention, she explained, is reactive, as last spring, an anonymous letter was posted around campus on May 31 that criticized Deerfield’s handling of girls and liberal faculty who stand up to patriarchal norms. The letter included statements that girls were “being punished for standing up to objectification” and that liberal faculty members were “being silenced and fired for advocating for gender equality.”

Ms. Creagh felt that because of this letter and other factors, “it was clear that we have some work to do.” She emphasized that “we are going to lean into it very deliberately and take on that work.” She hopes students feel that the administration is “equipping them with info, skills, and mindsets that allow them to engage with all of these issues responsibly and thoughtfully,” and that students know their “school understands that [these] are important issues to grapple with.”

Ms. Creagh explained that other factors in addition to the anonymous letter led her to think about gender on campus this summer, including a discipline case last spring and the fact that others seemed confused when she made “subtle language adjustments,” such as using the term “ninth-graders” instead of “freshmen.” She also felt that “some cis-girls on campus had concerns that they weren’t getting the same experience as the cis-boy experience, and that didn’t feel right,” so she “took it as [her] charge to make it a priority.”

Mrs. Savage decided to focus her symposium on healthy relationships and dating because she’s heard many people encourage “dating on your terms” at past girls’ meetings. She feels this is “a great thing to say,” but she questioned whether anyone—particularly girls on campus— actually understands what “their terms are,” since “what’s right for [one person] might not be what’s right for someone else.”
Mrs. Savage hopes that students took two main things away from her symposium: she wants students “to reflect on their own feelings and how they are feeling in a relationship,” and consider forethought, because “every relationship has goals, even at the very beginning,” and it’s important “to know your boundaries, to set your boundaries, to keep your boundaries, [and] be self-possessed in a relationship.”

Ms. Creagh hopes students take away from the first symposium the understanding that “dating is really exciting, but you should have a plan that aligns with your own terms in a relationship.” She wants students to have “an awareness of the ingredients that make up a healthy relationship,” and wants everyone to “have set terms for [themselves] about what will be healthy for the relationship and what will not be.”

Mia Silberstein ’20 attended the first gender symposium and was pleasantly “surprised by the lack of heteronormativity.” She enjoyed how Mrs. Savage “made it clear that the meeting was inclusive to all people of any sexuality,” and she “thought [Mrs. Savage] handled the uncomfortable topics really gracefully while still being honest and keeping some humor there.”

Ms. Creagh stressed that through these gender symposiums, she’d love to see the community progress to a place where there are “healthy, thoughtful practices” about these issues. She hopes to both be “reactive and thoughtful” about what she considers to be such a timely issue on campus.

Related

3 thoughts on “Promoting Student Dialogue About Gender”

I cannot believe that this school has devolved down to this point. Students have become as delicate as snowflakes who completelty fall apart and melt at the mere utterence of anything they deem inappropriate. Well guess what, the world is a rough place. If you do not have the self-confidence, self-esteem, and intelligence to deal with your personal problems then you are in serious trouble. People don’t care what your sexual orientation or identity is. They only care if you were honest, trustworthy, and hard-working. They only care if you have confidence in yourself and your abilities. Good God, what happened to this school. Deerfield made a huge mistake by going co-educational. That one decision brought in a myriad of social problems that would never have been an issue had it been left an all boys school. It has neutered the school. Frank Boyden realized this He realize that boys needed a place to not only develop academically but morally and socially without the distractions of gender. So that boys could be boys. It’ll helped boys to develop into men with guidance and mentorship. It created a comradiere that could not be matched anywhere else. You did not need icons like Captain Deerfield or anything else because the Deerfield Spirit was ingrained in every student. The mere privilege of attending created it’s own sense of accomplishment and school spirit. I my opinion, a separate single gender school should be built for girls. If the need is there. That would be a step in the right direction.

As a member of the class of 1969 — the first to graduate after Mr. Boyden’s retirement — I find it dispiriting to see how the focus at Deerfield has turned to issues of relatively trivial importance. Why on earth would one pay princely sums to an institution that would delude my son or daughter into thinking that these issues are germane to their development in the real world? Best of luck to the current crop of students.

As a parent of a current student, I can assure you that Deerfield’s focus on rigorous academics, competitive sports and inspiring co-curriculars remains the same. Deerfield’s mission to “encourage each student to develop an inquisitive and creative mind, sound body, and strong moral character” is present in everything they do. I’m not sure why a single article in the school newspaper would lead you to generalize that the school’s “focus” has turned to issues of trivial importance. Quite the opposite, in fact. Deerfield continues to do well what it has always done well. But the school also understands that it must grow and change with the times. These issues are very much germane to what these students will encounter at college and in the real world. I don’t know of a single competitive college campus where issues of gender and sexuality aren’t ever-present. These are topics that students in the 21st century must tackle, and Deerfield is doing its job by adding these topics to those that it already takes on. Providing symposium to allow students to explore issues of gender and sexuality doesn’t take away from Deerfield’s rich liberal arts curriculum. In fact, every single top boarding school in the country recognizes that these topics are of huge importance in the 21st century. I recognize that you’re coming at this from the perspective of someone who graduated in 1969, but please remember that this is *not* 1969 anymore, and our teenagers will be fledged into a very different world.