I fantasize about men in women’s underwear

I am a hetero female, but one of my biggest fantasies is for a guy to dress up in women’s underwear. Not full-blown drag, just a teddy, fishnets, and some heels. He doesn’t even have to act like a woman. I just want him to parade around a bit, and just for me. I’ve had the ovaries to bring this up only twice to men I’ve been with. My first boyfriend was game, but I was so insecure with my sexuality at the time that I let it go. My second boyfriend found it degrading and wouldn’t do it. I think there are two things holding me back: (1) I’ve never even heard of this fantasy, and that makes me feel like a creep. Is there a name for it? (2) I know the first time I will giggle with joy and I’m afraid that will be a big buzzkill if my hypothetical future boyfriend thinks I’m laughing at him.

> Lingerie Without A Man

1. There isn’t a name for this fantasy, LWAM, so let’s come up with one. How about “Frank-N-Furter-Ing”, for Dr. Frank-N-Furter, a noted research scientist who also enjoyed dressing straight boys up in fishnets, teddies, and heels.

Your fantasy probably lacks a name because it isn’t that odd or a whole lot to ask. And this fantasy makes you more sexually and romantically marketable than you seem to realize, LWAM. The world is full of men who aren’t gay, aren’t into drag, and aren’t into full-blown cross-dressing but who are turned on by the idea of wearing the girlfriend’s panties and/or a little lingerie. A lot of these men are with women who barely tolerate their kinks. The single ones, on the other hand, are out there looking for a girlfriend who is turned on by the thought of a guy in panties, a teddy, fishnets, and heels. Post a few explicit personal ads on online dating sites—kinkster and normster—and I promise you’ll be flooded with responses from guys who want to put on a show for you.

2. It is permissible to giggle during sex. If you’re worried that your partner might think you’re laughing at him, qualify your giggles in advance. Explain that you’re prone to joyous laughter when you’re turned on and you might get a little giddy during his performance. Emphasize that your giggles are evidence of arousal, not disgust or contempt. Then prove it by fucking the shit out of him.

3. Have you checked out www.xdress.com? Think of it as your own personal porn stash before you find a boyfriend, and your favourite online shopping destination after.

I am a heterosexual female. My husband hates condoms. When we started being exclusive and monogamous, we were both fully screened for STDs and I went on the pill. That was four years ago. Since then, I have been through eight different versions of the pill. My current one gives me a two-week period, I have gained about 25 pounds in two months, and I am more moody. My doctor just prescribed me a new pill that will likely increase my weight and make me even moodier, but it should decrease the length of the period. I am sick of this! I think my husband should suck it up and wear a condom.

He is completely resistant. It is ironic that the pill protects me from pregnancy if I have sex, but we’re having less sex due to the weight gain, bloating, bleeding, no sex drive, and other side effects. My doctor does not think other options for birth control (e.g., an intrauterine device) will be a good fit for me. Should I continue on the pill or tell my husband that if he wants sex, he has to share responsibility in avoiding pregnancy?

> Tired Of Pills

Shared responsibility.

And you can keep having sex without pills, condoms, or pregnancies. There’s oral (his and hers), anal (ditto), and mutual masturbation (underrated). But if it’s vaginal intercourse he wants, then he’ll have to get used to condoms. Some women can’t take hormonal birth control, and your husband is married to one.

I was watching a porno featuring a hot gay threesome. Two tops double-penetrated a bottom. The odd part: the tops shared a single condom! I’m wondering how safe this might be. It certainly doesn’t seem safe.

> Dubious In Phoenix

It was safe for the bottom—provided that overtaxed condom didn’t burst (here’s hoping they were using a more spacious, more durable female condom)—but it wasn’t safe for the tops. Jamming two dicks into a single condom could result in dick-to-dick transmission of a number of sexually transmitted infections: herpes, HPV, chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, et cetera.

I am a 25-year-old straight woman. I recently started seeing a man. The first time I slept with him, he told me that he was interested in a relationship, and I told him that I wanted to keep things purely casual. Over the next month and a half of talking to him, hanging out, and having sex, I started to really like him. I was thinking about changing my mind and taking the relationship to the next level.

The last time I saw him was a week ago. He came over, we had sex, and then he mentioned he had met someone else. As he was beginning to elaborate, I told him to leave.

My anger comes from his timing. If he had told me this before we had sex, Dan, I would have been able to have a constructive conversation about this. The problem now, if I’m being completely honest with myself, is that I really like him and I don’t want to stop seeing him.

A couple of questions: do I reach out to him again? Did I overreact?

> Left In The Lurch

I can understand why you were upset. You had already taken things to the “next level” in your heart—you were thinking of this guy as your boyfriend—you just hadn’t gotten around to informing him about the upgrade. And you assumed that when you did get around to letting him know, he would be delighted. Because he was the one who wanted a relationship at the beginning, right?

Unfortunately, LITL, he took you at your word when you said you weren’t interested in a relationship. Keeping things “purely casual” with you meant he was free to pursue a relationship with someone else.

I can’t help but wonder what he was about to say when you told him to get out. He met someone else, which wasn’t a violation of your rules. Did that mean things were over between you two (which would make the timing of the last fuck an insult)? Or was he willing to pass on this other girl if you were ready for a relationship (which would make tossing him out before he could elaborate a mistake)? You probably should’ve heard him out.

Go ahead and reach out. Let him know that you were thinking about taking things to the next level—ughers to that phrase—before he told you about the other girl. You were starting to fall for him, you hoped he felt the same, and you were disappointed. But since he was only doing what you asked—keeping it casual—you can’t fault him for keeping his options open, looking around, dating other girls, et cetera. And you can’t fault him for failing to read your mind.

Close by telling him that you’d be open to dating—a real, noncasual relationship—if things don’t work out with this other girl.

Pat Crowe

Satinpants

Oct 20, 2012 at 1:25am

I am totally straight and married and love to wear ladies undies!! If my wife says put stuff on I'll do it in a second!! I'm sure you'll find someone who loves it, there are more of us around than you think!! Count how many people are on your bus on the way to work. At least one of those guys will be wearing pantys or tights & stockings!!

harrihere

Oct 26, 2012 at 10:03pm

I'd love to wear lingerie for you. I'm straight and enjoy all kinds of ladies lingerie. I've read many stories online and he you want you're boyfriend to wear something for you, you need to be patient and work up to it. if you can't find guidance online, send me a message

Meggie

Nov 4, 2012 at 7:45pm

men have no idea what they are missing out on by not wearing panties. I personally do not like the styles and fabric for men's underwear. I don't like the way men's underwear fit either. I love wearing my panties and don't care what closed minded people think.[/QUOTE]

I appreciate your comments about men's underwear. I need to be frank and maybe this is the best way to do it. At first I thought I was ill by wanting to wear women's panties. I have from time to time since I was about 10. I never told anyone. In the recent past I found myself desiring to wear panties and bras. I lOved how they felt abd I lOved how they made me feel so sexy. I am heyerosexul and am married. I have found that more and more I wear panties and bras with the hope of some firm of discovery. For example, I am a road bicyclist. I wear by nature in the sport very tight fitting jerseys and shorts. Women in their outfits like mine look so sexy. Looking at the bodies and watching their breasts as they ride is exhilarating. I decided one day as I was passing Victoria's Secret to go in and talk to a sales rep. She was lovely and gave me confidence to ask her if she would helP me pick out some panties and bras for me with breast forms. She did not even blink. I was both surprised and relieved. She stayed with me about and hour and was gentle and sweet. She helped adjust the bras when I came out from the dressing room. And showed me how to place the small breast firms in. She treated me like a girl. I was thrilled. She asked if I was ready to go public. I stared at her and nervous. She went on to explain. If I was strong enough to risk asking her for help I should be strong enough not ti care what people may think. I smiled at her and asked her to chose which panties and what bra to wear out of there. She picked Avery cute ruffled thong in soft pink and a matching bra (36A). I flashed in front of her by opening the dressing room door momentarily. When I came out dressed with men's clothing on the outside but with prominent breasts showing, she smiled and affirmed I looked very nice and not to worry. I paid for the items (worth the money) and walked out nervously. I walked through the mall hoping for looks. By in large it was unusual as I got very few looks. I did pass some high school girls and they did see my breast outline and giggled. One man noticed. But no real unusual reactions. So I decided to up the experience. The next day I put on my bra and enhancements and slid on my jersey (no panties, no way you should ride a bike with shorts and panties. To hard on the male members) and rode off. I looked at my breast. I already have nice shaped little boobies. I looked great and felt sexy. I went to several gas stop and shops and walked in to get water or a snack and stopped and talked to several women. I know they could see my feminine features. But no reaction to the negative. One even kept starring. Another asked me how old I was and that I looked very fit. She even placed her hand on my chest briefly as she walked away. Now I know she had to have figured it all out. But I left unsettled. What was I looking for. So tomorrow I plan to be even more open. I have a pair of size B enhancements and will go into public with them.I love wearing panties and bras only. I did see some warm stockings that have spandex and cotton in then I may wear thus winter to the gym to stay warm. But other than that I don't wish to wear wardrobes or makeup. I prefer to remain a guy who loves women's panties and bras. I feel so good in them and for right now I look sexy in them.Thanks for listening. My posted nickname is just that a nickname.

Panty lover

koko

Nov 19, 2012 at 8:20pm

Regular mens underwear is a major turn of. Nothing sexy about it. Plain ugly. So I decided to star to wear the nice smooth silky ladies panties. Love it. Feels great on my skin. And looks sexy as well.

We used a different term to describe all that post–9-11 fucking: terror-sex, which New York magazine defined as “urgent, unguarded, end-of-the-world coitus inspired by that day’s sudden jolt of uncertainty and fear”.