Real Talk : Break Ups Suck! How to deal with one?

“Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?” Unknown

I have coffee with my friend and shake my head, unable to squeak out a sound over the lump in my throat…. what had I had i given up, had I made a mistake, was I thinking straight? These are the questions you ask over and over, sounding like a broken record. You well up while crossing the street, while waiting in a line, in the car at the lights, the silly love song on the radio reminds me of him, or when that simple memory floats by you that just seems like yesterday.

Together for not the longest period but to you it always feels like a lifetime, doesnt it! The experiences we had experienced together felt like we lived 100 years together…But for some reason relationships end; everyone knows that. But the tough part is actually dealing with suffering, accepting, letting go, moving fwd,and processing a hell of a lot of other feelings all at the same time.

Think what we must remember is that

What you have yet to learn, life will always find a way to teach you.
What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.
Sometimes we have to sacrifice the things we like to experience new things or better things.

But how do I best deal with a BREAK-UP???

Step #1 – Have a pitty party!
Let yourself be sad. This is ok!!!
But only for 1 weekend, or if it were in a long one, maybe an extended, long weekend (4 days max)… There are some break ups that we need more time to deal with and we need a good old cry, or to eat the entire humungous tub of coyo icecream or the biggest block of chocolate we can find.
Allow yourself to obsess over every single little silly detail and remember all the amazing things you had. Your mind needs to do this as part of your healing process. But after this short lived, little party for 1, you must pick yourself back up again, and start back on that journey called YOUR LIFE.

Step #2 – So……..No more sad stuff ok!
No more sappy movies or emo music on repeat, singing it at the top of your lungs in the lounge room. (Yes that means no more delta goodrem, adele or beyonce or taylor swift) No body benefits from overdoing the sadness, swimming in your own pool of tears! Time to crack the upbeat tunes and fun movies! Take control of the situation.. allow yourself 10mins sad time a day if you must, know that this is the only time.

Try doing a cleanse – where you promise yourself that you wont contact him in anyway, nor stalk his profile daily. It will help you realise you can be on your own, and stand up strong and at this time he will be realising how much he hates not hearing from you.

Step#3 – Spend time counting those sheep
Chances are you haven’t really been sleeping very well since you broke up. But as when you are sick, REST is so important. Get yourself some Epsom Bath Salts, some beautiful candles, sleepy-time tea or just do some meditation, listen to peaceful calming music, download the glen harold sleep ap this does absolute wonders for you and can help put you to sleep.

Your puffy red eyes will not look any better with big black bags under them from having no sleep! No sleep doesnt help you get through the days any easier. Sleep will help give your head have a rest and allow some clarity to your overthinking crazy mind.

Step #4 – Time to get busy!
Now is the time to create the best version of you that ever existed! Make those huge leaps towards promotions at work, get that dream body or follow those crazy dreams you have always talked about. Work on you, becoming super successful! Or why not try something new!
Always wanted to become a yoga teacher, then do it!
Take dance lessons, sing, volunteer for a charity, give blood… Do stuff that makes you feel good.
Hang out with those who make you giggle and smile.
Remember to lean on your friends and family, theyre the ones who love you the most and will always bet there to help make you feel good!

Step #5 Look and feel Your Best!
Right thats it – no more time for questioning anything, feeling worthless or not good enough -Time to show that body some love! Treat it like the beautiful temple it is – Anyways don’t they say the best revenge is to look your absolute best! More importantly the mind works and feels better when you eat better and stop being a lazy bum. No continuous amount of junk food is going to make you feel any better,
So get off the couch and get in the gym!
Go for a Run, Sweat it out!
Treat yourself to a massage, get your hair done, go shopping!
Start feeling and looking healthy, happy and fabulous again!

If you are interested in getting yourself into a better place, healthier and fitter body jump over and look at the packages I have, do a cleanse or do a 12 week full lifestyle program.

Comment below – I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW HOW YOU HAVE DEALT WITH BREAKUPS IN THE PAST?