Wednesday, January 18, 2012

From The Department Of Douche

“Yes sir, how can I help you?” me welcoming a somewhat grumpy faced customer holding a brown paper sack at the counter. “I would like to return some items” the snippy reply. This is rarely and issue but when it is, it is. We tend to look at wine as if it were a food item so once it leaves our shop we cannot determine how it’s been stored or cared for, therefore we cannot, in good conscience resell that item. Not to mention it is not really our fault that you bought too much wine or didn’t like something you picked. If the wine is flawed we have no problems whatsoever giving you an exchange, those things happen and we don’t even think twice about making it right, (plus we go right back to where we got it and have it made right for us too) but over purchases, well that’s not really our problem so we don’t accept returns for that.

As the scrunched face gentleman, whom I can’t say I’ve ever seen before, begins pulling tissue paper wrapped bottles from his bag I explain our store policy to which I get the, “Oh no you di-int’!” face and a very exaggerated flipping about of the receipts in his hand. This goes on for a few seconds before I hear, “Oh don’t mind me. I’m just trying to see where on your receipt it says that” to which I respond, “You know, that’s a very good point, we should have that on the receipt and I will talk to the owners about that” now the “gentleman” is really looking pissy at me and says, “Yes, why don’t you run off and talk to them about that now. It doesn’t say that anywhere on here does it?” receipt being waved in my getting-redder-and-pissy-my-own-self face. I’m doing my best to smooth things over, not piss this cat off any further, take his rather shitty condescension but still tow the company line, that’s when I look down at the 7 items he brought in for return just as this slips past his sneered lips…

“I’m a regular customer here! I come in once a year and buy 6 bottles of Moscato for gifts!”

On the counter:

Two bottles of Capetta Moscato di’Asti ($8.89 each)

Five Christmas wine bottle bags…in fucking January….

Gave the guy is thirty-eight dollars back, with a big grin and another explanation of our store policy. Just wasn’t worth it and last thing we ever want is to piss off a “regular” customer but….fuck, how about coming in not looking for a fight and not treating people like they are trying to screw you over?! You bought too many bottles and are now returning holiday themed items long past when we have any chance to sell them at anything but 50% off, if anyone is getting hosed here it’s us. Had the guy come in, explained that he over bought, the gift recipients didn’t drink, or even simply said that he could really use that $38.00 in a civil tone instead of walking in with a chip on his shoulder things would have been far more pleasant…for both of us and I wouldn’t be sitting here on my lunch break feeling the need to get that jackass’s garbage off MY chest.

see... the problem is that you care too much. You definitely did the right thing. If you care, you will be taken advantage of... but if you don't, then you are dead inside. You guys do things the right way, a way that I wish more people would understand and mimic.

It's better to be passionate and frustrated, than to be placid and void of personality.

I run into people like that occasionally. I love it when I hear "I come here all the time" and "I want to speak to the owner" especially when I can say "no you don't come here all the time, because I am here all the time and I don't recognize you, and you are speaking to the owner, and if you really did come here all the time you would know that."

I have actually only got this attitude from people who received our wine as a gift, or bought it in a mixed auction lot, and want cash. I send them packing with a cheery "tell all your friends!" Because I don't want their friend's business, either.

On the other hand, every single customer - retail or wholesale - who contacts us to say they had a problem with a bottle - even to say they did not enjoy the bottle - gets an exchange or credit, no questions asked. So long as they hold the attitude.

Boy do I understand the need to get that kind of thing off your chest.

Valerie,Ugh. The guy came in really a really shitty vibe all over him, just makes me think he was in fact aware of our policy and was ready to toss his little stink about to get his way. Loathe people like that.

edgar,You are so very sweet and thanks for backing me up. We do in fact care and I really don't want anyone to leave pissed off, clearly as I did break the store policy to shut his ass up and please him...as much as anything could. Kinda hate that I let him get to me but I honestly don't understand that kind of behavior...be nice dickwad!

John,You know, I have taken things back because people don't like the wine they purchased although that rarely happens. I think most people know that you are rolling the dice when you opt to try something different. I was once with a coworker in a restaurant and after eating her appetizer, or most of it, she tried to send it back saying she didn't really like it. Nearly died and almost smacked the shit out of her. I knew you would get it sweetheart.

V,We used to have one guy that bought nothing but high-end white Burgundy and nine times out of ten he would return them, with about a glass and a half gone, saying that the wine was flawed. Gawd did he piss me off....

I'm a big fan of the 'catch more flies with honey' philosophy. It's my little way of making the world a better place. And you are a nice lady for refunding, but yeah, I wouldn't have wanted the hassle either... especially since he's a 'regular' customer. What a dick.

webb,Right?! If you come in and buy 6 bottles every year just hold on to the holiday bags until next year and you won't have to purchase more. The whole thing is, had he been the least bit nice I would have taken this very differently but dude, what a tool.

Sara,Total dick and the best part, the Moscato he buys, it's one we are very aggressive with pricing on....which means we make almost NO money on it. (Grumble) He was awfully pompous for someone buying cheap sweet wine and making a $38 return, think that was what just pushed me over the edge. Be human and treat me like one and we are going to be just fine.