Thursday, February 23, 2012

Yup, you guessed it! Time for another series post, lovelies! This time, we are going to discuss...wait for it.. Open Relationships.

Uncomfortable subject for some, yes I know. However, I have done it before, so I am finding myself wondering...

WHY THE HELL DID IT SUDDENLY BECOME A DEAL BREAKER?

Then.. a light bulb went on.

Yup,lessies, I suddenly realized in a flash...

It doesn't need to be a deal breaker anymore.

There is no reason for it. Back in the day, after trying this, I had OMFG TERRIBLE SELF ESTEEM because the relationship did not work out. I figured it was that old green- eyed monster rearing its ugly head.

But then, I realized it wasn't that at all. It was that I, and my primary partner at the time, were not mature enough to follow the rules. That was a long time ago, though, and things are different now. I am all grown up and confident and know what I want and that jazz. So, dykes, I present to you...

Shannon's Rules for the Successful Open Relationship!

1) NO MEN.

There are many valid reasons for this, but, since we are dykes, chances are this would be a non issue anyway.

2)No Kissing On The Mouth

This is an easy way to make sure that the most intimate of expressions of affection is reserved just for the two of us. (after all, we gotta keep something that is just ours, right?)

3) ALWAYS USE PROTECTION!

This one is a no brainer, especially with the potential to fuck around with that many people.

4) No Repeating Tricks

We get to have each one once, but that's it. Too much potential for feelings to develop otherwise.

5) No sharing our toys!

Those remain between us. If you want to use toys with tricks, get some that we don't use together. While we are at it, no friends, relatives, or anyone we know..AWKWARD!!!

Well, that's about it, dykes! We CAN have healthy, loving open relationships if we just set down the guidelines first. In fact some of the most loving relationships I know of are open. Could it be that...wait for it..

MONOGAMY IS NEW.

Yup, you heard me right, dykes. Society tells us now that marriages and relationships are supposed to be monogamous, but it wasn't always that way. Here are just a few definitions of "marriage" that have been true over the years:

So, with all these different definitions over the course of history, why the hell should we stick to one? Sounds to me like the same shit the 'phobes say. I, for one, refuse to follow their rules. I've made my own, and hey, exploration is fun! So, whataya think, lesbos? Open or monogamous? I can go either way, myself, now, and what a freeing realization that is. Opens up a whole other world of dating (pun intended).

Saturday, February 18, 2012

But sometimes you gotta do it. Yup, you heard me right, lessies. Shannon is single again.

It wasn't easy to do, and originally it was just an *ahem* break, if you will, but the way it turned out, it seemed that there were too many of my aforementioned dealbreakers that this person embodied that were never going to go away.

And, of course, there was also the meddling ex

who had my now ex girl's Facebook login information and used said information to cruise my page, pump me for information, and basically became

as such people usually do in these situations. And I was just supposed to be OMFG TOTALLY OK WITH THIS. I also have reason to believe she had access to financial information as well. I am far from an OMFG SUPER DUPER CONTROLLING AND DEMANDING girlfriend, but I do have standards about respect and what I find to be acceptable in relationships, and too much of that was violated in this situation to really go on. Was it difficult? Of course. Was it for the best? Without a doubt. So, freethinking, childless lesbians, hit me up. Shannon is on the market again.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Alrighty, 'mosexuals, the title says it all. Y'all know I'm out and proud, have been for sixteen years, and wouldn't have it any other way, no matter what hardships I might have endured, because as we all know

However, something we never really discuss is the fact that there are many different kinds of closets. One can be out in one aspect of her life, and closeted in another. Now, let's discuss the different kinds of closets, shall we?

First, we have the INTERNET CLOSET.

You know what I'm talking about, dykes. It's that person that is supposedly out and proud, but insists that if anything gay makes it into that facebook timeline or twitter feed, their life is simply OMFG FUCKING OVER! She can tell all kinds of folks she's gay, just not those people.

The second closet is a common one,and pretty understandable: The

WORK CLOSET

Now, considering the fact that you can still be fired for being gay in twenty- nine states and in thirty- four for being transgender, this one gets a pass. We are not all fortunate enough to work for LGBT friendly employers, and it is honestly often more trouble than it's worth to come out at work.

This next closet annoys me to no end. The dreaded

FAMILY CLOSET

This one annoys me because it affects so many people. You are hiding a part of yourself from the people who love you the most, and hey, let's face it- they raised you. They probably already know anyway. And, furthermore, like anyone else, if the bitches don't take it well, that is their problem, not yours. You have your Rainbow Family to support you.

After all, where do you think the term "family" for the LGBT community came from? Because we are your family when your blood relatives won't be.

Last, but certainly not least, my lovelies, we have what I like to refer to as the

BACK HOME CLOSET

This is an all too familiar story for many queer identified people. You know the drill, lessies. You go off to college or move to a big city and are totally out in your life there, but, the problem is, nobody from where you came from knows a thing about your new gay life. You continue to hide it, when you go back for say, the dreaded

All of a sudden, you go back in time, to being that scared little girl you always were, who hid the deepest, truest part of herself. But why? Why do you care what these people think? You have a new life now. The fact that you still hide who you are from them means you most certainly do care, and that's a damn shame.

The point is, lovely lesbos, a closet is a closet is a closet, no matter to what degree, or it comes in. You cannot claim the title of OUT when you aren't. End of story. So, in short,

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Hey Hey! Well it's been almost two weeks since the last post. That is because gasp! for OMFG THE FIRST TIME EVER I was asked to collaborate with another queer blogger. dykeroadbaby, the proprietor of Dyke Road: The Online Lesbian Journal, asked me to collaborate with her on a coming out post. So, in essence, I wanted to give that a chance to get some hits before we moved on to another post.

At any rate, 'mos, OH MY! What a lot we have to post about this week. It has been one awesome week for Queer Equality!

Perhaps the best part of this was the recording of one of the most moving Marriage Equality Senate Floor speeches from gasp! a GOP lawmaker who has a queer daughter. Get out your tissues for this one, 'mos. You'll need them.

So, it's been a great time to be queer this week, even beyond our usual radness. However, as always, haters gonna hate.

The first order of hatred comes from an asinine group of irrational mothers calling themselves ONE MILLION MOMS(though in actuality there are only about 40,000 of them) that decided to hate on JCPenney's decision to hire the adorable Ellen Degeneres

because she is gay. Now, this group is a fringe arm of the anti gay terrorist hate group American Family Association, which is, of course, nothing but a bunch of hateful religious zealots. They demanded that JCPenney gasp! fire Ellen. I refuse to link to such a hateful website on this blog, but I DO give you the video of Ellen's awesome response.

As always, she is simply brilliant! And the icing on the cake is that JCPenney stood behind her, showing that even large corporations no longer cave to blatant bigotry in the name of a few extra dollars. Show JCPenney they made the right decision, and that we are on the right side, and that we support them, and Ellen, by joining One Million Ellen Degeneres Fans Supporting JCPenney if you have a facebook account. Perhaps the most shocking defense of all comes from none other than the Fox News Opinion pundit, Mr. Bill O'Reilly.

Most shocking, but I guess everyone has their days, so a kudos to him for this one. Thanks, Bill-O.

And ahh, last but not least, we have the tale of one Roland Martin

sending homophobic tweets during the Super Bowl. However, he too, got his comeuppance, as CNN suspended him indefinitely, citing the tweets as "regrettable."

So, all in all dykes, it's been quite a week in Queer Land! Looks like its Queers 4, 'phobes nil! Special congratulations to the folks in the states with advancements in Marriage Equality progress, and may we all join you soon!

WHEW! What a post! We might be getting a little political from now on out dykes, because, as you all well know, I am all about the cause. Promise we will still have massive amounts of fun, though! Till next time...