My dad was trying to help me by telling me not to worry about the competitive aspect of it, but that’s not actually my concern. I know that I am competitive, but I worked hard years ago to turn off that part of myself (for better and worse). No, my bigger concerns are more like

Will my bathing suit fall off?

Can I get my swim cap on?

Will my goggles leak?

Will I be able to see (my distance vision is crap anymore)?

Will they laugh at me because I’m such a giant dweeb? (Dweebiness is a given, and a constant. Laughing at me because of it is likely, but not inevitable.)

Will I be freezing when I climb out? (Yes. Yes, I will.)

Will the kids (mostly Rowan) freak out while I’m gone?

Will I barf?

Will I drown?

Will I not have shaved quite well enough?

Will I crash into the other swimmers and make them drown?

Will I just be terrible, making them recommend that I leave before I hurt myself or others?

What if I have to pee?

What if I come up and have boogers all over my face?

I don’t know if I can dive anymore.

Am I a dork if I don’t dive and instead just hop into the pool?

I’ll stop there, though the list goes on forever in my head.

I’m going to break with tradition and actually tag these swimming posts so that anyone who is interested in Masters Swimming can read them all in one go.

I’ll also attempt to update tonight after my class. Attempt. But I may be too busy waxing my whole body after that embarrassing incident.

2 Comments

Your swimsuit is not very likely to fall off–at least, not all the way off. Get your hair wet (in the shower) before you try to put your swimcap on. Your goggles will need to be so tight they leave an imprint (just a tiny one!)–that’s just the way it is. Don’t put them on until you are in the pool. Wet them with pool water so they don’t fog up so much, then put them on. No one will laugh at you. Unless you fall in the pool. Or your swimsuit does, however unlikely, fall all the way off. Pee before you get in the pool. Although pros just pee in the pool, without missing a stroke. True story. If you have boogers all over your face, don’t try to wipe them off with your swimsuit. Dive? Into the pool?!? No, no, no, no, no. Just hop in! And have fun!