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God Loves Foreskins

God LOVES foreskins! Especially bloody foreskins. In this story, God is royally pissed at Moses and meets him on the way to the Inn where he tries to kill him.

Yes, God "tries" to kill Moses which seems rather odd given that God is supposed to be pretty powerful and, presumably, if he wants somebody dead, he doesn't have to try. Here, I imagine Yoda saying, "Do or do not. There is no try."

Anyhow, Zipporah doesn't want Moses killed, so she has a clever plan as outlined in Exodus 4 verses 24 to 26, here shown in the King James Version of the Bible.

24 And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the Lord met him, and sought to kill him.

25 Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me.

26 So he let him go: then she said, A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision.

The lesson is clear ladies. If you want God to do anything for you, and I mean anything, cut off the tip of your son's penis, then throw it at God's feet when he's out walking by the Inn. Then, name your price. God is a pushover when it comes to bloody foreskins.﻿

Comments

Creationists make it sound like a ‘theory’ is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.