Tag: people are talking

Yesterday, our guest contributor Jenny talked about the cycle of repeating our mistakes. Her cycle involved constantly moving in and out of relationships. She used the analogy of shampoo instructions – lathering, rinsing, repeating – to describe it. Her post got me wondering, good or bad, what am I still doing at forty that I never thought I would be? I’ve mentioned a major one before – struggling with my weight – but at forty, I can’t believe I still watch and enjoy cartoons, bite my nails on occasion, am single, and sometimes care a little too much what people think.

What can’t you believe you’re still doing at forty? Is there a habit you thought you’d have broken by now, a man you thought you’d have gotten over, or something or someone you can’t believe you’re still waiting for? Share it in the comment section, on our Facebook page or tweet it at twitter.com/womenatforty. We’ll share some of your best comments in a future post!

Rachel’s graced us once again with more hilarious and real talk about being almost forty. From the pain of divorce to the pain of Brazilian bikini waxes, being almost forty has its ups and downs…

As I draw closer to being forty years old, I try to accentuate the positive in my life. Rather than lamenting the gray hairs that are close to overtaking my “natural color” (yes, I consider the stuff from the bottle that matches the hair of my youth “natural,” just go with it on this, please), I celebrate the fabulous, effortless highlights I get when I color my hair. I rejoice in the confidence that comes from knowing myself on a deep and meaningful level that could only be possible after spending more than three decades exploring the mystery that is me.

I find myself and my girlfriends delighting in our self-awareness and the fact that we are strong, independent women. We are intelligent women—wives, mothers, sisters, friends, CEOs, teachers, attorneys, consultants, accountants and myriad other impressive titles. Collectively, we have traveled the world, battled cancer, brokered million-dollar deals, molded young minds, survived the heartbreak of losing a child, weathered the devastation of divorce and the pain of a full Brazilian bikini wax.

We’ve found the strength to strike out on our own when our employers have failed to realize our worth and we’ve managed to come back from the edge when we thought we could take no more. Some of us have stared down the barrel of spinsterhood without batting an eye, knowing that our sister-girls will be there for us in our golden years and that likely, that will work out better since they will alert us to toilet paper stuck to our shoes, lipstick on our teeth and precariously perched wigs.

A few weeks ago I put out a call to women to ask “What’s your best things about being forty?” I’ve gotten some great submissions from women who have fond memories of that year of their life. Pat’s 54 now, but remembers forty very clearly. Here’s the best thing about being forty in her own words…

At forty I felt sexy without working at it. As a 54-year-old woman I have to put a lot of effort into looking sexy. I don’t care how old you get I believe women still want to be viewed as attractive and sexy. But, the ability to do so diminishes markedly in your 50’s. Sure there are women who can carry it off, but they’re instantly recognizable because they’re trying so hard to look young it becomes painfully obvious they’re older than they look.

40 was also great because the future seemed boundless! I believed the world was my oyster and I could achieve anything I desired. At 54 reality has set in. Sure I can still achieve a lot and hope to, but time itself has become a limitation. It’s a much more finite quality for me now — and my mind play often centers on mortality and what lasting accomplishments I can make.

As I look back, 40 was a magical time for me. In reality it had all the ups and downs of any other decade, but it is an in-between time — when you’re young enough to still enjoy some of the benefits of youth and old enough not to jump straight into the pitfalls. It was a sweet time!

Pat’s statement “when you’re young enough to still enjoy some of the benefits of youth and old enough not to jump straight into the pitfalls” struck a chord with me. What are your thoughts?

The answers keep coming, and I’ll keep sharing. You can check out all the responses here.

My observations so far 1) There appears to be at least a little planned nudity in our fortieth year, 2) men, of all ethnicities, seem to be some of our biggest regrets and 3) a lot of our monkeys are really heavy…

The Women at Forty Five Questions Challenge – 100 women, 5 questions, 3 words or less

We want 100 women to answer 5 questions in 3 words or less. As a woman whose nickname was the village lawyer as a child, I know how hard it is to answer any question in 3 words or less, but that’s why this is a challenge. As for getting 100 women to respond…if Three 6 Mafia can win an Oscar…

So, here are the ground rules:

Leave your responses in the comment section of this post

Copy and past the question block, and type your answers next to the questions

Include your name (screen name if you prefer to remain anonymous) and your age

Answer each question in three words or less

Any woman who’s turning forty soon (you decide what soon is) or been there-done that (no matter how long ago), can participate

And here are your five questions:

Most exciting thing you did/plan to do at forty?

Biggest regret?

The thing(s) you’re most proud of?

The monkey on your back you can’t shake?

Finish this sentence (ok, so technically it’s not a question) – If Three 6 Mafia can win an Oscar, I can…

Forward the challenge to your friends and keep up with everyone’s answers by clicking on the comment section of this post. You can also keep up with responses by clicking the five questions tag in the tag cloud located in the video box on the right side of our home page. To start us off, check out my answers here.