New meaning to cutting down the nets

Two urology institutes – one in Austin and another in Oregon – are offering the craziest fucking marketing ploy in the history of mankind. They are promoting discounted vasectomies (NOTE: I don’t think I’ve ever had to write the plural of vasectomy before) during March Madness because, as the article so eloquently states, “a vasectomy requires a few days of rest, so what better time to get vasectomy than March Madness, when you have a good excuse to sit on the couch?”

As a bonus, one doctor at the office in Austin goes by the name Richard Chopp. I shit you not. A doctor giving vasectomies is named Dick Chopp.

Now, I’m not going to make any gross jokes about vasectomies, because I’m too mature for that. OK, actually thats not true, I’m definitely immature enough for those kinds of jokes, but thats not the point. The point is, if you’re a guy who’s been considering snipping your shit, I would just think you’d want to do it on your time, not just because of some promotion that will conveniently allow you to watch the Gonzaga game. I’m too ignorant to know the details, and frankly I really don’t want to look them up, but it seems like a vasectomy isn’t exactly like getting your hair cut.

VERDICT:
i tried so hard to think of a dick vitale joke for this, but i just couldn’t do it. something about how vital your dick is or a dick’s vital signs or something like that….its so close. fuck it, i tried