Monthly Archives: June 2011

Rumours have reached this side of the Atlantic that the German Bundesbank has been printing Deutschmarks in case the much vaunted Euro falls over. Now these rumours are not new, and there are claims and counter claims about how much truth there is in them. We have no means of knowing if the presses at Giesecke & Devrient in Munich, Frankfurt, or Leipzig are running red hot in a clandestine way. Short of watching for extra deliveries of special paper and suchlike.

With the Carbon markets globally in the tank, said rumours do not come as a shock to the system, especially with the continuing economic Greek Tragedy. To be honest, it makes perfect sense as a fallback option. The only question is; will such a move (if the rumours are true) be needed? The only real way to verify would be confirmation from an inside source. Not that such an eventuality is likely.

If Greece does default; then the Euro’s demise will be almost assured. There’s been too much Eurozone borrowing and lending of money that doesn’t really exist for it to be otherwise. This will be an economic implosion of brobdingnagian repercussions. Although the only real casualty (as usual) will be the poor bloody UK, French, and German taxpayers.

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I got caught out the other day doing some voluntary work. Actually I was covering for the paid staff’s lunch, which I do as a personal favour, not because I’m asked to.

At the time I made a remark to someone in response to a rather fatuous complaint. “Don’t worry, I’ll pass that one on.” I said in cheerful tones. Honestly, I thought the guy was kidding me by making such a nonsensical remark so my initial response was to blow off his complaint as though it were of no importance. Much to my surprise he came back at me with; “You just insulted me.”
To which my conditioned reflex was; “Wasn’t meant as an insult. I’m sorry you feel that way.” My mental response was a slightly confused ‘where the hell did that one come from?’. Although by then all I saw was his retreating back. Damn! Someone had been playing victimhood poker and I’d been so involved with other thoughts I missed an opening gambit.

Upon reflection I should have trusted the evidence of my own eyes. My accuser moved like someone with poor self esteem. Hunched up shoulders, slightly dragging footsteps and wearing his defensiveness like a shield. If I was security or a copper, he would have flagged up on my ‘Up-to-no-good-ometer’ right away. He acted furtive, if you know what I mean. If asked, I would have said the adjective ‘creepy’ would not have been too far off the mark. A veteran offence seeker like that should have had my mental defences ready with all guns loaded. Fortunately they are so rare in our neck of the woods that I’ve gotten out of practice dealing with such people. Good natured joshing is more usual in our part of Canada.

Notwithstanding, when playing victimhood poker, the idea is to trump the ‘offendedness’ of your opponent by insisting that you are the hurt party. No matter what the complaint against you, you must always claim the other party is actually in the wrong. This is a great game, and if played well can reduce one player to a grovelling apology in three sentences or less, regardless of any fault.

Let me demonstrate by example. Say we have two verbal combatants, Player 1 and Player 2. The game begins when Player 1 claims that their ‘feelings’ have been hurt. The reality of the Player 1‘s claimed offendedness does not matter, as Player 2‘s game objective is to negate present and future offence seeking behaviour. To win, Player 2 at no time should neither raise his/her voice, nor give the vaguest indication of smiling. An expression of indignant ire is a distinct advantage.Player 1 opens with: “You insulted me!”Player 2 counters with: “I find that accusation rather offensive.”Player 1 is forced to fall back on: “But you insulted me!”Player 2 can now offer: “Please don’t be patronising. I find your attitude vaguely (Player 2 inserts relevant ‘ist’ here). Kindly take your prejudice elsewhere before I call (Enter relevant authority figure here).”
Now this should be a winning gambit, as all Player 2 has to do to win is to insist that Player 1 is acting out of ‘prejudice’ and committing some vague sort of ‘thought crime’. However, it cannot be stressed too strongly that at no time must Player 2 indicate anything but muted moral outrage. Mocking laughter is only permissible after Player 1 is almost (But not quite) out of earshot. Extra points can be earned, should Player 1 return, hotly demanding apology for their ‘hurt’ feelings. At this juncture Player 2 should claim to be laughing at something else that was actually funny, and demand to know why Player 1 is indulging in ‘Offence seeking behaviour’ which Player 2, in his/her turn finds ‘violently offensive’ which Player 1 should immediately apologise for. In its purest form, this game is almost like playing ‘Cheese shop‘ without the Cheese, the shop, or the Monty Python references.

The winner is the first to obtain an apology.

I missed an opportunity like that? Crikey. I must be getting out of practice.

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The longer I’m away, the more I think “Funny bunch, those Brits.” A whole slew of commentators read this piece in the Tellytubbygraph and fell to frothing at the keyboard. At first glance, you’d think the same, but as my old Dad was fond of telling me “Don’t believe all you read in the papers” . As always, the truth is a little more complex and mundane.

Wootton Bassett has been doing a sterling job of welcoming UK soldiers home who died overseas for some time, and the thought that British war dead were to be sneaked out the back door like so much garbage is utterly shameful. Yet the Failygraph piece misses one important piece of information; the dead only go through Wootton Bassett because the runway they would normally have come back to blighty via Brize Norton, has been closed since 2007, and instead have been coming via RAF Lyneham on the other side of Swindon Wiltshire. Now the runway at Brize is reopening, the repatriation flights will be going back to their previous routine.

The ‘new’ route will take the repatriated dead from Brize via Carterton, where a special memorial garden has been planned to honour the repatriated dead at the roadside. It’s worth noting that some of the comments in the article, from people who were consulted before the decision to re-route via Carterton are very telling. Although I’m sure that the rest of the Lamestream would not have done something so simple as do a little easy fact checking, rather than go for a cheap headline, now would they?

I know people are blaming Cameron, and don’t get me wrong, I still think he’s a patronising git, but on this occasion apart from mishandling the news like a bunch of 6 year olds writing their first essay, he and his government are not to blame. Even though there is no blame to be apportioned.

It took me about ten minutes to fact check this story. What a pity Hitchens in the Fail and Vicki somebody in the Tellytubbygraph couldn’t do the same. Clucking bell.

Update: Sent the text to our man on the spot, Witteringsfromwitney, who said that the good folk of Carterton had wanted to do a Wootton Bassett, and there had been quite a local spat about it. I’d like to point out there were issues about market days, narrow roads and the risk of loaded Hearses ‘grounding’ on specific routes, UK B and C class roads being what they are. All this was sorted out well before the headlines. So the ‘cheap headline’ accusation still holds good.

The further thought occurs, that newspaper reporters and columnists expect to get paid for shoddy work like that? Sheesh.

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Something beyond Mt Unpronounceable seems to be throwing up a column of steam. Katla, or the East side of the Eyfjallajokull vent system?

It’s hard to tell. The Katla webcam is down, so no way of telling unless someone with their feet on the ground can report directly. Perhaps Jon Frimann will be able to keep us posted. Tremor plots for the area (See HVO and GOD) showed a small uptick in activity earlier today, BC time.

Just got back from work, and I’m on evening shifts all weekend. Will try to keep up.

Update: Steam plume seems to have gone, and tremor activity has dipped.

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I often wander through the comment sections of the Tellytubbygraph just to see what the denizens are up to, and occasionally dropping my own world weary words into a comment. My favourites have to be Delingpoles blog, and Christopher Bookers articles because of the fruitloops they attract. A mere handful of commenters wage their own little war of words which I take the odd pot shot in just for fun.

One of the things I’ve been made aware of is the use of people actually being paid to troll opinions on said blogs. Well I’m wondering if all those paid trolls are aware that what they are doing may be illegal. Yes, that’s right, against the law and all that jazz. Now I wasn’t aware of this little point of law, but it appears that the paying of people to post opinions, or commission false reviews etc, known as ‘Astroturfing’ is actually illegal.

I almost fell of my chair laughing.

Oh, and my kids Uni exam results are in; decent 2:1’s for both, which is a vindication of everything we’ve helped them out with. All ahead smirk factor 12. Engage!

This is before the cops and courts have really got into their stride. It’s real community in action stuff. Neighbourhood clean ups are being organised. All via Facebook and Twitter.

Now I’m not normally a fan of Facebook, but on this occasion the applause goes to the people who love the place they live in enough to do this. Many cyber pats on virtual backs are due.

In some ways it’s not surprising. ‘Social Media’ is huge over this side of the continent, and people actively use it. However, I think this is one of those ‘only in Canada’ moments. There’s a freshness of thought and positive attitude over here that makes it all possible. I can’t see this sort of thing gaining much ground in the it’s-someone-else’s-bovver-mate-nuffin-to-do-wiv-me UK. Although I’d love to be proven wrong on that score.

Not that I’m even slightly tempted to think of going back you understand.

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I have to say this. When the riots hit after the Canucks Bruins game the other night, my virtual heart had sunk into it’s dinky little cyber boots. My first thought; had leaving the UK to find a new and better future for me and mine been a hopeless quest? Had we just worked so hard to get here just to find the same old same old?

However, the local press and media today is full of stories where ordinary people stood up to the rioters, and are even actively helping to track the guilty down. Vancouverites demonstrated ownership of their own streets against hostile elements with messages of peace written on boarded store fronts, and handing videos of whack jobs smashing store windows to the Police to do what the cops should with said malefactors. There’s currently a big name and shame thing on Facebook where pictures of the offending low lifes have been posted.

Now I’m sure some tricksy defence lawyer might try to argue that this coverage makes a fair trial impossible, but I’m inclined to say that anyone trying to cop a ‘not guilty’ plea in the face of overwhelming evidence like that should serve double penalty anyway. I just hope the local judges and cops see it that way.

Today my rose tinted specs are sitting firmly across my face, and all I can say to the folks who stood up for their neighbourhoods in Vancouver against the vandals is; guys, you rock! You own your streets. God bless you.

I can only wish that if ever in the same situation I’d have the guts to do what you did. Thank you.

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Well there go my rose coloured glasses. The Vancouver Canucks got trounced at home, on their own ice, by the Boston Bruins 4-0. What happens? Well, this. What a bunch of sore losers.

Next time the Canucks get into the playoffs for the Stanley cup, I hope Vancouver doesn’t bother with any facilities for Hockey fans on the taxpayer dollar. Especially if this is how the ‘fans’ repay such largesse.

I thought the violence was supposed to be kept on the ice. Looks like I was wrong.

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Of late I’ve been delving into the works of Paine, Plutarch, Cicero and others in order to fill the gaps in my very patchy education. A friend and fellow whiskey snob pointed me in the direction of Jacob Burckhardt, a 19th Century Swiss Historian who came up with the following gem;

“the state incurs debts for politics, war, and other higher causes and ‘progress’. . . . The assumption is that the future will honor this relationship in perpetuity. The state has learned from the merchants and industrialists how to exploit credit; it defies the nation ever to let it go into bankruptcy. Alongside all swindlers the state now stands there as swindler-in-chief.”

Expatriate expostulations from Canada; a.k.a. A Sarcastic man abroad

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