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The Mindful Self-Express

Failure and disappointment are an inevitable part of life, yet they can be challenging and difficult to deal with. Research shows that persistence and determination are just as or more important to success than natural talent. Here are 8 tools to help you get back out there and keep putting your best self forward.

From our partner not doing their share of the chores to infidelity, brutal mass murder and everything in between, there are many times in life when we are called on to forgive (or not). Consider these psychological facts before making your personal decision about forgiveness.

Are you stuck in overthinking? Anxious thoughts and worries can overwhelm you and make it even more difficult to make decisions and take action to deal with whatever problem is bothering you. Learn tools from Mindfulness and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy to take back control of your life.

Are anxiety and excessive caution getting in your way and stopping you from living a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Avoidance feeds on itself and makes you less confident, while getting started and taking action creates a positive cycle that naturally helps your anxiety go down. Learn five effective ways to get a handle on anxiety so you can move forward.

Committed relationships can survive ups and downs, but some patterns and behaviors can create more permanent damage. Infidelity is only one of the reasons relationships break up. These four negative patterns raise red flags about the state of your relationship or marriage. If you recognize your relationship here, it's time to change course.

We all want loving and successful relationships but we don't all know how to achieve them! Research shows that certain ways of being together can create the glue that holds your relationship intact for the long haul. Read about some things you can do right now to make your relationship happier and healthier.

How do we stay merry and bright this holiday season while avoiding too much disappointment, regret, and burnout. The science of Positive Psychology holds the key! Maintaining meaning, equanimity, gratitude, giving to others and savoring positive experiences can create both holiday and lasting happiness.

We all have those “blah” days, but why do they happen and what can we do about them? The latest research studies show many potential culprits, ranging from the weather and hormones to brain chemistry, negative thinking, and lifestyle. Read on to find out more.

One of the most important decisions you make in life is deciding whom to trust. Trusting the wrong person can make you vulnerable to date rape, being taken advantage of, financial losses, next morning "walks of shame," and other undesirable outcomes. So how do you protect yourself from trusting the wrong person? Understanding your brain's automatic processing can help.

The widespread panic about an ebola epidemic in the U.S. is a perfect example of what psychologists call “catastrophizing.” To catastrophize means to overestimate the probability of a negative event occurring. You may also see the event as uncontrollable and all-powerful and you may underestimate your resources to cope or your ability to obtain assistance from others.

Daily hassles are the small, day to day irritations, repeated many times, that drive us all crazy. Research shows they can be as toxic to our long-term health. Learn why this is so and what to do to protect yourself from a buildup of toxic daily stress.

We all want to feel like we’re being productive and getting things done. But many of us motivate ourselves in ineffective ways or make less than optimal choices about what we take on. Learn how to replace mindless rushing ahead and self-criticism with smarter ways to motivate yourself,

When you think about weight in "all or none" terms, have unrealistic expectations, or define your self-worth only in terms of weight, you become too hyper-focused on weight loss, creating anxiety and obsession that can derail your attempts to live healthier Don't be a victim of these eight common "weight thinking traps" and learn to replace them with healthier views.

Criticism is a universal experience but also a painful one. Being criticized may trigger fear, shame, anger and insecurity. Emotional intelligence means understanding the critic's intent, the context, and nuances of the situation so you can respond mindfully and effectively. This may mean speaking up for yourself, setting limits, compromising, or taking corrective action

We seem to have a happiness response to fair treatment and a disgust or protest response to unfairness. This brain wiring has implications for life happiness, relationship satisfaction, raising kids, and organizational leadership. This article will examine how we define fairness, how your brain processes experiences of fairness and unfairness, and how to cope with life’s

Although part of happiness is biological, there are things we can do that have been proven to increase our enjoyment of life. Some of these involve a change of mental focus, some involve cultivating relationships, while others involve learning and practicing new habits and ways of behaving.Learn about the five key happiness tricks you can't afford to miss.

One key part of attracting an available partner is to work on our own personal growth, perhaps moving outside of our comfort zone to expand our sphere of interests and relationships. A second powerful skill is to work on our own issues with insecure attachment and insecurity that may inadvertently block us from finding the love we seek.

When we turn away from unpleasantness, instead of being willing to stay in the moment with it, we increase our suffering by adding resentment or frustration. My interview with, Buddhist-inspired author Toni Bernhard provides insight into the nature of human suffering and practical tools to deal with difficult life situations.

Stress is not inherently good or bad. It’s just a natural part of living in a changing, evolving universe. Researchers have found that healthy stress (or “eustress”) exists alongside unhealthy stress. If we never had to face new challenges, life would be monotonous and boring and we wouldn’t grow. So, how can we turn stress into growth-producing challenge?

When faced with frustration of important goals, you may feel angry, helpless, or inadequate. You may feel stuck—not knowing whether to persevere or give up. This article shows there are better ways of coping. When what you are doing is not working, you need to do something different and you have a couple of options.

When we feel short of time, love, or money, we may feel like we need to operate in emergency mode – penny-pinching, being guarded, or scheduling every second of our days. New theories and research about the psychology of scarcity help us understand how scarcity leads to poor decision-making and how to combat the scarcity mind traps.

With these easy to practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion tools, you will be well-equipped to ride out the ups and downs of the holidays. Read how to maintain a balanced outlook, soften and soothe painful feelings, and practice an abundant mindset.

Love is part hearts and flowers and the stuff romantic movies are made of, and part hard work and commitment. We can love many people, not only our partners, and love makes us healthier and happier. A peak experience in the moment, love can also be a lasting facet of our lives, encompassing many different relationships and experiences.

Successful people do not have boundless energy or superhuman capabilities.They have just figured out how to work smarter, rather than harder. They understand the secrets of willpower, and know how to schedule their priorities, rather than prioritize their schedules. They take time to replenish their energy & nurture relationships. Find out how you can do this too!

Do you motivate yourself with self-criticism and worry about all the bad things that will happen if you don’t get it together? While this may create that extra surge of adrenaline to meet your work deadline, get to the gym, or get your house cleaned, it comes at a cost. You get all stressed out & rebel. Read about a healthier way to get the job done & stay in balance.

The past decade's research in brain science has uncovered new knowledge about human fear and motivation, yet leaders are often unaware of this information and how to apply it. This article describes how psychological knowledge about the mechanisms of anxiety, uncertainty, and motivation can help leaders make better decisions, manage stress, and enhance employee engagement.

Stress that goes on for a long period is a triple whammy for weight—it increases our appetites, makes us hold onto the fat, and interferes with our willpower to live a healthy lifestyle. Read about the four major reasons stress leads to weight gain and learn about four great research-based coping strategies you can use to fight back.

In modern Western society, we deeply value good health, yet our pressured, hurried way of life is so out of balance with our biological needs that health damage is the inevitable result. We forget the age old wisdom that health means soundness not only of body, but of mind and spirit as well. The following quotes illustrate what health is really about - living in balance.

Research shows Mindfulness-Based interventions can help people deal with uncontrollable symptoms, decrease anxiety and depression, be more productive, Learn how they can help you focus and be productive when faced with stress and distress.

Love relationships are not all sunsets and roses, but involve a complicated dance. When your relationship gets off track, repair it using the H-E-A-L technique. By Hearing concern, Empathizing, Acting to change, & expressing Love, you let your partner know that their needs matter and that you care. This creates healing energy to restore relationship health.

About The Mindful Self-Express

"Life is not a matter of having good cards but of playing a poor hand well" Robert Louis Stephenson. This blog explores how we can manage our lives so as to make the most of the hands we've been dealt. Can we find ways to transform life stress & trauma into positive motivation? What are the ingredients of a healthy, balanced life? And how can we express our most authentic selves to contribute to a better world?