how not to pick up a girl on NJ transit

“Did you know there are rock, paper, scissor competitions all over the world?”

I snapped out of my meditative state to face the handsome stranger seated next to me on the train.

“Yea, I actually heard there’s a big vineyard in California that draws people from all over the world to compete,” I responded. I have no idea where I leaned this tidbit of information, but it seemed to come in handy.

“What do you need to win? Is it even considered a game of skill?”

So started my conversation with a Ukrainian guy on his way home to New Jersey over the Christmas break.

He asked what I was doing on this train after I told him I work in the city and live in Hoboken.

“Oh, I thought maybe you were a dancer at a nightclub.” Uhhh…

“I thought the world was going to end today! All that wind, rain…”

“Yea, it was rather eerie, looking out on the bleak nothing outside the window. So what is it you do, Pavlo?”

“Yea, I was going to say you were either Ukrainian or Japanese. I couldn’t quite guess though.”

He laughed. I counted down the minutes until he made it to his stop.

“People never just chat on the trains anymore.”

“I know. I guess we are so accustomed to staring at our phones,” I said rolling my phone between my fingers.

It was in fact a pleasant conversation though I could have done without the dancer comment. It’s a rare thing truly when a stranger warms up enough to chat up a girl on the train. I remember always wanting to have these as-seen-in-the movies kind of romantic experiences when I was single but they never materialized. That being said, this wouldn’t have done the trick regardless of whether or not I was in a relationship.

But something completely adorable happened on my way back from the bathroom at a recent Phish show which momentarily restored my faith in the opposite sex and their ability to pick up chicks.

“Quick twirl?”

“Excuse me?”

“Quick twirl,” the cute Phishhead repeated with a wink.

Blank stare. I had no idea what he was talking about and I couldn’t hear worth a damn. At what point does one begin to lose hearing? I’m beginning to worry…

Before I knew it, he had grabbed my hand and spun me in a circle, just once before he disappeared into the crowd of dancers.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you sweep a woman off of her feet.

I think the funniest part of that conversation on the train is that the answer to “what do you do?” was “I’m actually Japanese.” I didn’t realize that being Japanese was a career.

But the twirl thing…awesome.

Mrs MatchJanuary 3, 2013, 3:17 PM

Ha,I’ve had awkward conversations on the subway going to sf before. My favorite was a guy asking if he could shoot me. When I starred at him horrified he said he was a photographer. Lol! I love the twirl guy. That’s adorbs!

Hahah, awesome! And I love that he was just all, “Quick twirl?” How very to the point! (Btw, I’m hosting a giveaway over on my blog — there’s a phrase I never thought I’d utter, hahah — so please enter if you get a chance because I’d love for YOU to potentially end up being a winner!)