Saturday, March 29, 2014

Severe Laathi Charge (SLC)

It seems like our students are not only appearing for the School Leaving Certificate exams but are also subjected to severe laathi charge from our cops. Every year, parents hurl stones and attack cops when they are not allowed to pass cheats to their children. Hundreds of students and even our invigilators are expelled for breaking the examination regulations.

Our students could have pulled an all-nighter revising their notes if our incompetent No Electricity Authority (NEA) had at least not stuck to their regular load shedding schedule. Every new Energy minister promises to reduce load shedding hours and get rid of our energy problems in five years. But then they last a few months and make a few millions from contractors and civil servants seeking lucrative transfers and promotions.

I think it's about time, our incompetent government scrapped the SLC exams and save us all from misery. Our parents in the rural areas won't have to get into physical altercation with the cops. The students won't have to suffer from panic attacks and resort to making cheat notes to pass the exams.

And our government can save millions of Rupees by not conducting the exams. Instead of doling out chiya kharcha to our invigilators, build toilets in schools across the country. I think it would be easier for all of us if our students take the 10+2 exams instead of getting stuck in the 'Iron Gate' syndrome. And if our political parties were smart then those caught cheating during the exams should be offered party memberships as they are thrown out of the examinations halls.

After all, our netas need to groom the young ones to take over the mantle someday and those cheating would be the most eligible candidates to screw the system for their own self-interest. And those who fail the SLC exams should not lose hope. Please try again and if you fail again then take Barista training and work for a coffee house for a year and then apply for jobs in the Middle East. The Sheikhs are hiring and a barista can make at least Rs 60,000 per month.

During our grandfathers' days, passing the SLC exam was a big thing. If you were matric pass then you were probably met the eligibility requirement to be a hakim or some government official. Today, you won't even get a decent job if you have a Masters degree.

But the system is still the same where nepotism rules and meritocracy is frowned upon. For some of us, you don't even have to pass eighth grade to run our state corporations. A few years ago, one of our comrades became the chairman of Nepal Airlines because he had enough experience building paper planes during his school days. Maybe, we should appoint a candle maker as the Ministry of Energy and a loan shark as Minister of Finance if we really want to pull this country out of the gutter.

Our cops now use tear gas and fire in the air to disperse our SLC candidates. When it comes to police brutality, none of us are spared. Nepal Police continues to practice equal discrimination and it will spare no one when it comes to severe laathi charging …be it our monks, women, students, doctors, patients or the disabled and the marginalized communities.

Meanwhile, our Home Minister attends programs everywhere, promising us better security and what not. Batman tells us that our security personnel should be loyal to the country and people. But so far our cops are only loyal to our incompetent netas and their spouses. It doesn't look good when we have to watch the spouses of high ranking security personnel using the government vehicles. It's about time, our maharanis stop using government vehicles to buy some outfits for their kids.

Batman has promised to secure our borders and wants us to believe that he won't compromise on public security. So far, only our netas are secured while we have to worry about getting mugged in our own neighborhood. And if one can bribe our cops at the border, then you can smuggle nearly everything into our country.

The funniest quote of the week once again goes to our Batman. During his bhasan natak at the APF headquarters, our Homie told our Armed Police Force wallahs that they "should not make efforts to climb up the professional ladder through improper means". Does that mean, our Home Minister will not be making any dough when he promotes our Nepal Police DIGs to AIGs soon?

Batman wants our police officers not use unfair means to advance their career. So, please don't call the Home Minister's personal aide to fix breakfast meetings. And do not bring bora full of cash to get lucrative transfers and promotion.

Why in the world do our politicians give us such bakwas guff and make fools of themselves? We all know that our political parties send their money men and women to be our ministers so that they can make enough dough for their parties and cadres. So please stop lying to us and giving us empty promises while emptying our pockets.