Katy Perry in bustier a la Betty Boop

“All I wanted out of life was a hit record and a great pair of boobs. I woke up one morning and I had both. I had finally arrived.”

Katy Perry made this statement in an interview with a magazine recently. My goals were a little different back in my mid-teens. Yes, I definitely wanted bigger breasts, to catch up with my – to me – huge nipples. Or, to be more accurate, big and puffy areolae around big nipples. Apparently, I have since learned, such ‘features’ are much sought after on modern websites, but back then I had a degree of self-consciousness.

Katy Perry and Hello Kitty outfit

Katy also mentioned her figure and this I definitely agree with. I totally wanted a figure to use as a clotheshorse for a huge variety of clothing styles. I was tall and fit but not, so far, curvy. I did see other, shorter, fuller-figure girls and would curse my tall, slim parents. Yep, if your hair’s straight, you desire curly, if you’re redhead you envy brunettes. I went through all that and it seems so childish now but, whew, it was there in all its glory then.

Katy Perry displays boobs & cleavage at the Grammies

Eventually DNA came to my rescue and I grew some hips and ‘proper’ breasts, so was able to indulge in all types of fancy dress – just like Katy explains: “On a Monday I could be a Betty Boop figure. On a Tuesday I’ll be Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. On a Wednesday I could be wearing S&M rubber.”

Of course, the wardrobe buyers, make-up artists and salaried assistants have not come my way (yet?) but it seems even Katy doesn’t need them all the time: “Most of the time I welcome attention but there are days when I need to keep a healthy distance from it. When I pop down the grocery store to buy some milk I leave all my glittery costumes at home.”

There are already two big-hitting Russians in the semi-finals at the Australian Open. Depending on the next few hours, there could be four!!

Vera Zvonareva

Yes, the world of commerce is often dominated by Russian oligarchs and their multi-national interests, the catwalks are often graced by Russian and east-European models, and the modern wealthy art buyers are often Russians. Further, some of the best music clubs, boutiques and restaurants in the world are in Moscow.

Svetlana Kuznetsova

Meanwhile, back at the tennis, Vera Zvonareva (photo 1, left) defeated Marion Bartoli of France in one quarter-final (in an easy 6-3, 6-0), and Dinara Safina overpowered comeback kid Jelena Dokic of Australia in a 3-set slugfest (6-4, 4-6, 6-4) to set up her semi-final with Zvonareva. So that’s Russia v Russia.

We then have No. 4 seed Elena Dementieva (Russia) looking likely to win over unexpected opponent Carla Suarez Navarro of Spain. So perhaps the only non-Russian hope is if Serena Williams (USA) can win against Svetlana Kuznetsova (photo 2, right). With results of 6-2, 6-2 and 7-6, 6-4 coming into the match, Kuznetsova’s form is similar to the Williams wins of 6-3, 7-5 and 6-1, 6-4. Curiously, both players won their fourth round matches when their opponents retired.

Dinara Safina muscle tone

One important feature of the modern Russian game is the addition of finesse and style to their traditional power and grit. It might not always be pretty, but it is attractive in its own Amazonian way as these modern players combine purity of skill with rugged counter-punches.

Elena Dementieva catwalk queen

Athleticism is also a key as we have seen this last fortnight, with wonderful shoulders and lean but powerful muscle (Safina, Dementieva, Sharapova) alongside the stocky power-hitters (Kuznetsova, Kleybanova).

Talking of style and tone, which we sort of were, just look at the muscle tone of Safina (photo 3, left). Yet these modern Amazons are also perfectly happy on the dance floor or even the catwalk, as you can see with Dementieve (photo 4, right) from a fashion shoot.

fantasy fashion now 'normal'

way back in 1944 at the first Golden Globe Awards, there was rather different coverage of the awards ceremony – and drastically different outfits worn by the stars :: the men have stayed fairly true to the tradition, with perhaps just a little more sparkle in some of their suits :: the women, on the other hand, have blossomed

the January 2009 Awards Ceremony for the 2008 Golden Globe Awards was a great showcase of style and talent – and that’s just the fashion designers :: many of the actresses wore figure-hugging, and definitely bust-hugging outfits that emphasised their own golden globes :: the pun is relevant as the media is hungry for glamour :: and that glamour is even more stylised and is now close to many fantasy images of yesteryear

corset-thin waists, accentuated and heaving bosoms, and glorious female cleavage now looks ‘normal’ at so many red carpet events :: and that is no complaint

just as fantasy art has inspired so many gothic metal and symphonic metal bands, as well as stage (and off-stage) clothes of most of the leading ladies, so we are seeing goth and fantasy styles appearing at many awards ceremonies :: the Golden Globes ceremony ‘featured’ many attractive women in fantasy fashion, like (from left) Beyonce, Madeline Zima (one of our favourites from Californication), Miley Cyrus (emphasising the power of 2), Blake Lively and Salma Hayek

shock, horror – Dove have announced that 8 out of 10 women have damaged hair!

does this mean Clairol and Pantene and Garnier are not as good as they say? and that maybe L’Oreal and Schwarzkopf and Vidal Sassoon et al do not care and repair in the ways they claim?

Goldman Sachs have estimated the global spend on hair-care products at around $40 billion :: so if you happen to be one of the larger brands, there’s a good chunk of our money available if you get your marketing right :: cos we’re worth it, ha ha!

so clever marketing and a couple of celeb endorsements and they are laughing all the way to the bank :: and we are crying all the way to the salon or the beauty counter :: at least L’Oreal’s Elvive will renourish our hair – sigh!

we also spend around $25 billion on skin care, $20 billion on make-up and $15 billion of perfume :: those are the critical statistics, and Dove just want an extra few percent of the market – so any of the brands will say anything to try to gain those extra few million international dollars :: 2% of $40 billion is around $80 million, so well worth Dove trying to switch our allegiances – sigh again!