10/26/2016

"I have a story for you," the millennial told me. I was all ears. This millennial, a young man, call him "Colin" because that's the first name I thought of, was tall and built like a bouncer at a high-end strip club. "Okay, this just happened at the gym.

"I was finished working out when I heard these two old white guys talking," he said. I interrupted him to ask him how old, since, you know, these days "older" is seeming less and less relative to me. "They were in their 70s."

"Good. That's old," I said.

"And they were talking about the election, about how much they wanted Donald Trump to win. They were saying that Hillary is such a bitch and fuck her and all that kind of shit. So I asked them, 'What are you gonna think if Hillary wins?' One of them said, 'Are you voting for that bitch?' I said, 'No, I'm going for Gary Johnson.'"

This is true. Colin had told me before that he was shitting his vote away on...sorry, supporting the Libertarian. That doesn't detract from the rest of the story.

He continued, "One old guy said, 'I'd watch out if Hillary wins. There are a lot of us who are going to do anything we can to stop her.' The other one is like 'I've got guns and I'll blow shit up if I have to.'"

Colin paused before asking, "Isn't that fucked up?"

I thought for a moment, remembering all the threats that have happened so far, all the right-wing groups that have threatened violence. I recalled just today that federal law enforcement was worried that Trump's poll watchers and assorted fucknuts and yahoos will try to cause trouble.

So I responded, "Oh, fuck those guys. They're not gonna do shit. They're gonna go online and rant for a bit and then jack off to the first big black dick porn they can find. Almost every single one of these worms is just crawling back underground, pissed off that their time in the sun is over. And the rest? If they ever get off a shot, they'll be crushed so fast by the cops and the feds that their ancestors will shit themselves."

Our fear of these pricks is exactly what they feed on. Like virtually all the best terrorists, the threat is more important than the action.