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Slaughterhouse Barney: A Journey into Insanity
by
Jim the Ponyguy

I have you now, Barney

The my little pony fandom is no stranger to freaks. Hell, I have come across plenty of them inside and outside of the fandom, both on the internet and in real life. The world is chock full of them, and the internet -especially the dark corner of the internet we call home- is their watering hole.

On the internet, there is no way to tell if the person on the other end of my screen, with its tangle of cables and radiation waves that connect us, is sane, or even a person at all. There is no escaping the freak nation.

My point is that My Little Pony attracts some really odd people. This Barney fag for instance is just one in the sea of freaks.
Last Friday, an anonymous poster on the image board /mlp/ posted a thinly veiled threat against the creators of Barney for allegedly ruining his life and tormenting his soul with countless visages of The Purple Dinosaur.

Allegedly, the poster was a victim to an enhanced learning program at an undisclosed Catholic school in Canada where the teachers would play them an onslaught of Barney over and over again. In some twisted recreation of clockwork orange, our brave anon was forced to undergo hours of cruel indoctrination into the educational institution.

Strapped against his will with leather bands taught against his wrists, "Barneyfag" was a prisoner in the metaphorical jail cell we call high school. The endless barrage of children's programming found its way into every facet of this poor anons life; from music to festivals, Barney is there, always watching Anon.

In an essay linked to me, I found that this anon was enrolled in a program geared specifically towards severely disabled students. The classes where this anon endured such barbarous methods weren't even typical classes at all.

Barneyfag loved to talk about Pink Floyd in his essay. To me, it seemed like he is in love with the band, and music in general. His writings included dozens of references to bands and allusions to songs. He even considered himself to be similar to the protagonist from 'The Wall.'

His life revolved around Pink Floyd, especially 'The Wall,' where the characters decent into madness parallels Barneyfags own lunacy. Barneyfag even goes so far as to recommend 'The Wall' as a substitute for special-ed entertainment based on its educational merit. Except there is one issue with it though. Barneyfag actually HATES Pink Floyd. Not because of bad taste, but because of its association with Barney.

Back in high school, Barneyfag was exposed to some Pink Floyd around the same time as the purple dinosaur invaded his mind. This mild association drove Barneyfag mad, and it caused him to totally disregard Pink Floyd. Absolute disdain was the only emotion he could hold for many bands infected with The Purple Dinosaur. Anyone walking down the street with anything that might as well reference bands such as The Beatles, Rush, or Pink Floyd made Barneyfag very upset.

Now that all of Barneyfags favorite things were consumed by The Purple Dinosaur, he had no where left to go. The Purple Dinosaur took all of his favorite shows, music, and even his classmates. The only thing left to do was to fight back. And so Barney fag wrote a strongly worded (and poorly prosed) letter (linked above) to his institutions administration detailing why Barney was evil and should not be shown to children.

People associated with Barney started appearing at conventions he went to, on staff in shows he watched, and even on the roof of his house watching him sleep. Barney was everywhere. Hallucinations of the conspiracy against him shrouded his waking mind. Everything was Barney now. The only way for him to travel through life was with The Purple Dinosaur. Barneyfag was literally frozen in 'Barney.'

This goes to show where this anon comes from. Background is important when trying to dissect the mind of a freak. You need to understand where he comes from: Who is he and why does he acts the way he acts? What makes him tick? Find out his major malfunction and you can figure out his credo via process of elimination. Cut out what he cant do and you figure out what he does do.

For instance, Barneyfag cant stop thinking about The Purple Dinosaur. Barneyfag cant like things that have any association with The Purple Dinosaur. Barney cant function. What can barney do? Well he can act like a fucking lunatic, that's what.

So, from what I gather (as a licensed practitioner of 'Google Docs'), this Anon is suffering from a bout of paranoia and obsession. His condition is severe. No longer, or rather ever, can he maintain nominal functionality due to The Purple Dinosaur. His obsession and paranoia leads him to behave erratically, think drastically, and grasp at straws to try and understand why Barney wont leave him alone.

So this leads us up to the juicy stuff. The stuff that actually has real life consequences.

About a week ago, the alleged anon posted a photo of one of the Barney staff members houses on 4chan's /mlp/. Outlined in the post were reasons why he thought there was a Barney conspiracy against him.He is convinced that Barney is after him, and that's why he is going "after them."

This anon physically went to one of the creators houses and took a picture of it. Because of his obsession with Barney, this anon actually got up out of his probable basement, found where the producer lives, and posted intent to harm someone online.

This is someone part of OUR fandom. Someone you or I may have shared a stream with. Hell, we might even have him on our skype for all we know. If he wasn't obsessed about Barney, he might even be our friend.

Thing is, ANYONE can be this freak, and before you know it, he can be on YOUR doorstep at any moment calling for YOUR head because you haunt his dreams. I am frightened that there are people like this lurking the very websites we visit, just waiting for their next delusion to take them to our front lawns.

If you want to help and stop 'Barneyfag,' here's some info. Otherwise I'm going keep ranting about you freaks and cry in my shower because there's some guy in my closet singing "I love you, you love me."

He is actually right. In his insanity he was able to see through their disguise and indoctrination. Albeit it is not Barney. They are the lizard people and they are after you because you know the truth! Run anon! Hide yourself before they catch you and put you in a cell. They will force you to watch Barney until you've learned to embrace Barney, until you've been completely reprogrammed to see the world the way they want you to, until you are like the rest of us!... I love you... *sob* You love me... *sob* We're a happy fam-familyyyyyyy..... *breaks down in tears*