Dude #1: There has to be a way to flirt with a busy bartender that doesn't piss her off.Dude #2: We just need to find out where all the cute bartenders hang out when they're not working and get jobs bartending there.

NYU professor: I hate to break it to you, but there are ugly strippers. Go to Jersey City. There are ugly strippers.

–Waverly & Mercer

Guy to friend: I didn't say I wanted white strippers, I said I wanted girls with big booties, big boobies and beautiful eyes…

–Q Train

Sorostitute at nearby table: I was like, 'the strip-o-gram is a one time thing.'

–Junior's, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Flaming teenage gay boy: So she calls me and says, "my stripper friend's boyfriend is lost in Queens." And I'm like, "What?! One, why are you hanging out with a 21-year-old stripper, and two, why was he in Queens?