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In the world we live in today we all have encountered hurt and pain as well as experienced betrayal and disappointment. However, the key to living a successful life full of healing, wholeness and prosperity is learning to release and let go!

Number one, we must learn to release people who have hurt or disappointed us all while not forgetting to release ourselves in the process. To release someone can also be viewed as forgiving them and releasing what they did to you. Too many are bound today by people who are either a.) no longer among the living or b.) have moved on with their lives. One of the greatest tragedies is to allow the issues of life to put you on pause and keep you from living the purpose filled life you were predestined to live.

We must also learn to love ourselves while we are in the process of becoming who we were originally created to be. Refuse to allow your current dilemmas, setbacks or addictions to cause you to love yourself even less. Know that God chose you before the foundation of this world and He never expected you to be fully qualified for He has that portion covered.

Remember this: God doesn’t call the qualified but He qualifies the called!

Number two, we must learn to let go of the people who hurt us. This includes family members and friends as well as teachers, coworkers, church family; etc. Whatever they did is not worth holding on to and by harboring the offense or un-forgiveness you will end up with a sick soul.

I want to encourage you through this acronym of G.R.O.W.T.H:

G- rab ahold of God’s vision for your life. Vision comes from God not man. No matter how many prophetic lines you stand in, or $100 lines you are manipulated into, vision can not be bought, but only birthed through prayer and communion with God.

R- come into the REALIZATION that you are enough and God chose you! Release feelings of unworthiness knowing that you are joint heir of Christ and you are forgiven and you are worthy of being the child of THE KING!

O-pen your heart and let God and people in. Trust God to protect you from perpetrators. Sure, guard your heart but do not gate it. When we gate our hearts nothing can come in and nothing can go out. Life is all about relationships. Aren’t you tired of appearing connected when you really are disconnected? Relationships and friendships take work but God is all about them both. Refuse to allow the pain of your past to cause you to trust again. Not everyone is out to hurt you.

W-in others over with love! We must get back to sharing the love of God on a consistent basis. We don’t have to beat people over the head with our Bibles but we love them back to Christ. It is by loving kindness that we are drawn unto Him.

T- ell the devil NO! When he wants you to use your pain as an excuse to disconnect and become isolated; tell him NO! It’s a set up and a trap to get you alone so he can attack you! Solitude is when you are in a place with God but isolation is when you are all alone. Choose to enter a place of solitude but be careful not to shut down and shut others out due to pride or fear of being hurt because that enables the adversary to have an upper hand on you. For where two or more are gathered in the name of Jesus, He shall be in the midst! We are not designed to make it in this world alone. We were created to need one another!

H- elp and build- Life is all about helping others along this journey called life. Extend grace to others that was once extended to you. This is how Women of Standard was birthed out of my desire to be encouraged and in helping others God was helping me. It was in operating in what I now know was purpose that caused my healing process to begin. Choose to help others and build them up where you may even have been torn down.

Know that healing is essential for G.R.O.W.T.H.!

Check out my live training/teaching on this subject matter and be sure to subscribe to my You Tube channel to be notified whenever I release new videos!

How to Develop a Positive Self Image: Steps to Rebuilding After You’ve Been Torn Down

In order to operate successfully as a BOSS one must possess a positive self image. How we think of and view ourselves is usually embedded into us via our childhood. Whether it was your father who validated you, or failed to do so; your mother who protected you,or failed to do so; a teacher who saw the best in you and encouraged you to dig deeper; or failed to do so; etc. Each of these interactions helped shape our mentality (how we view ourselves) as well as our individuality (what sets us a part from others)

Perhaps you were like me in which you had teachers who doubted you and declared over your life that you would never be anything. Or maybe you had family members who doubted you or counted you out because of your issues. Or loved ones you violated you instead of protecting you. Been there? I have too.

But the great news is it’s never too late to overcome even our deepest childhood hurts and lingering wounds.

I want to ask you the following questions and I want you to be honest with yourself:

1. How do you view yourself? -Do you see yourself through the lenses of others and your past or the lenses of God’s word in regards to your future?

2. What do you say about you? – When you fail at a particular task or activity do you then label yourself as a failure?

3. How do you care for YOU? – Do you care for your temple by monitoring what you eat, watch and who you surround yourself with?

Repeat this after me and fill in the blank:

– I forgive _________ for doing ___________ to me. – Now is the time to release those who have held you captive due to you not releasing them wholeheartedly.

– I forgive myself for ___________________.- We all make mistakes and now is the time to forgive yourself and stop holding yourself hostage due to previous mistakes.

-I give myself permission to __________________. – Greatness is within you! It simply needs to be UNLOCKED, UNLEASHED & ACTIVATED! Guess what? You have the keys! Utilize them!

– I will passionately pursue my dream of becoming a __________________. -Life is full of possibilities and endless opportunities make a decision today to get out of your own way and passionately pursue purpose.

After you have went through the above self-coaching activity I’d like to leave you with a few things:

Steps to Develop a Positive Self Image:

1. Refuse to accept what was spoken over you. – You are NOT who they say you are but who God says you are! Embrace it and accept it as your reality.

2. Renounce all negative words- Detox your mind and spirit of every negative emotion. Journal it out if you have to; as long as you release it.

3. Declare Gods truth over your life despite your reality – God’s word is the final authority for your life.

4. Recondition your mind- Do this by reading books that will restore your spirit. Start with the Word of God and then inspirational books that provide strategies to restore your self esteem and increase your confidence. Your true identity is found in Christ, not in the opinions of others.

5. Develop a healthy attitude about yourself which will be a contributing factor to how u view and relate to others.- How you feel about yourself is a reflection of how you treat others. Remember this.

6. Be strategic & intentional about WHO you spend your time with.- Who speaks over you has access to your soul. Soul= mind will and emotions. What we hear effects how we feel and how we feel influence what we do and say.

Doing the above will make you confident in your call, clarify your identity and teach you the necessity of celebrating others.

For more on deep soul searching, confidence building and positive self-image building activities click here to learn about: Defining the Pearl: Carla’s Signature Coaching Program that has helped hundreds of women worldwide: https://carlacannon.com/coaching-program/. Sign up today & receive (1) additional (30) minute one on one coaching session!