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I Grade A ballsed this one up. I meant to make four parcels and I didn’t read the instructions. I cut eight squares of shortcrust pastry when I was supposed to cut four big ones. I made weird, square fish pop tarts when you’re supposed to fold the corners into the middle hence the “envelope” part of the name. I did score diagonally on the pastry to give the impression I didn’t mess up. Pastry cover up.

That being said, I’m glad I did. The filling erupted out of any tiny hole.

The filing is thick parsley sauce, made from scratch. Cooked white fish is folded in and then spooned into the middle of the pastry squares. You’re supposed to decorate the pies with leftover pastry. I attempted pretty flowers and leaves on the first three. Then I gave up with that bullshit and did made a dick. (Then, the pastry split and the filling did a break for freedom just at the tip of the dick. Disgustingly realistic, like some weird freeze frame… I’m going to stop there…)

Difficulty?
Pretty easy but faffy. Pastry, sauce from scratch, fish. Ain’t no body got time for that on a weeknight. Pastry flowers and foliage? Fuck off.

Make again?
Probably would pass. There are cooler things to do with fish.

Learn anything new?
I can’t read a recipe correctly. And putting a pastry penis on a pie can end badly for everyone involved. (See below photo)

Alterations?
None to the ingredients, although I used pre-made (and ready rolled) shortcrust. Yes to the method as apparently I can’t read properly. Also, if you can find a pastry dick in the GHCC, I will give you a tenner.

Score (out of 10)
Fishy five.

This recipe can be found on page 135 of the GHCC. You can read all about the GHCC so far by clicking here.