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How to escape the dreaded friend-zone in one easy step (a poem)

Posted on August 13, 2017

The friend-zone doesn’t exist, you stupid fedora-wearing twat.

An Explanation:

It came to a surprise that people (i.e. men) in their thirties still believe in the friend-zone. I’ve accepted that self-proclaimed “nice guys” and incels embrace the mythical friend-zone, but it’s disheartening that people I know are secret fedora wearers.* I’m no stranger when it comes to falling for someone who has no interest in me. I’m no stranger of having someone fall for me when I have no interest in them. Unrequited love is a real thing, after all. And it might run rampant among several guys. The problem arises when you start making up fictitious reasons why you’re not a candidate for her heart. The dreaded friend-zone lies only within the fact that you placed her in an unwarranted and unwelcome “relationship zone.” You think that being nice and proper automatically means you’re deserving a chance, but that is neither nice or proper. People are attracted to who they’re attracted to—thing is, this person just isn’t into you. And while that may change, it’s unlikely. Stop throwing yourself at every girl only to bitch when the results aren’t in your favor. Because obsession isn’t romance. It doesn’t even come close to passion.

*I own two fedoras; however, it’s been at over a decade since I wore them. It was a weird phase I was going through in college. We don’t have to go into it.