Monday, July 4, 2011

Sat down at church on Sunday, opened up my bulletin and found this.... I laughed out loud (don't worry, it's pretty loud at beginning of the service at The Rock, so no one heard me laughing). "Make some new friends this summer!"?! Seriously God? You are SOOO hilarious!

Anyone who knows me, will be shocked at this next part.... I signed up! How could I not?!!! Of course, I regret it and hope no one calls me. I don't want to go and have supper with five other people I don't know. But for some reason, I was compelled by a force greater than myself.

I have to admit that after my previous lengthy post about how I have no friends, I have had to examine the opposite issue... and think about what kind of friend I have been. I go back and forth in my mind....

At times I think that, after all I have gone through, I really wish that someone would have fought for me. Where did all these friends go so easily? No fight? No insistence on my presence? Was I that easy to let go? Am I missed?

Other times, I think maybe it was ME who didn't fight.

Other times, I think, "But I wasn't (and still am not) in any condition to fight... true friends would know that".

Other times....

I know I have spent alot of time wrapped up in "Brenda" and therefore, haven't been so available for others.

Either way... perhaps God has some kind of plans for me this summer as I "make some new friends" in the Supper Club. If so, I pray that I will focus on BEING a friend and not just filling holes in my own heart.

P.S. Tomorrow I am going to be with my dad while he has a pretty serious (and necessary) heart surgery. Please (whoever may be reading this!) pray for him. The surgery is Wednesday morning. And if you are reading, dad... LOVE YOU! Can't wait to see you!