Mayonnaise Remains Lord of American Sandwich Condiments By Huge Margin

I will never understand mayonnaise--its urine scent, its clotted consistency, its taste of eggs one day away from rotting. Give me sour cream, crema fresca, must-o-musire, anything cooling and tart, anything but mayo.

Of course, like most of my views and tastes, my opinions are in the American minority. Mayonnaise remains ruler of the American condiment universe, and a recent survey proves this depressing fact.

Something called Technomic's MenuMonitor recently polled thousands of sandwiches on American menus, according to Nations Restaurant News, and found mayo on an amazing 20.1 percent of them. That's right: Mayo appears in one of five sandwiches in the United States. Ew.

Mustard came in a distant second at 9.4 percent, while "honey" (both the actual bee kind and flavor modifying other condiments) snuck in at third. Most surprising result? "Caesar" flavor beat aioli by a full percentage point, meaning the Italian-created, Mexican-born salad is more popular in American sandwiches than ketchup. And the Reconquista continues.

Gustavo Arellano is the editor of OC Weekly, author of the syndicated column "¡Ask a Mexican!", and Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America. He started at the paper with an angry, fake letter to the editor and went from there—only in Anacrime!