Saundra Ross witnessed bullying firsthand as a child and now fights to protect children. (submitted photo)

Being bullied is obviously traumatic. Watching a family member break down from bullying is equally horrific.

During her childhood, Saundra Ross watched her relative regress due to the effects of bullying. She lost her appetite, her grades plummeted and she was too afraid to even go to the playground.

Ross said that watching her relative struggle left her "sad, angry...helpless."

"I decided that if this would happen again, I would not shy away from helping."

Ross, now branch manager of the North Avondale branch of the Birmingham Public Library, has lived up to that vow.

October is National
Anti-Bullying Awareness Month, and several Birmingham Public Library branches are hosting forums on how to prevent bullying. The forums, presented by the Montevallo-based David Mathews Center for Civic Life, seeks to open conversations and shed light on a serious - but often overlooked - issue.

"When I heard they were bringing the forums here, instantly I said, 'bring them to my library.'"

In my experience, the crucial tools for fighting bullies are a kind heart and open ears, two things Ross has in spades. They're characteristics Ross inherited from her elders, who came together to support her ailing relative.

"Even if the kids are in the library, I'm listening and I'll step in if something is going on. Some children don't have that parent in the household to defend them."

That's one of the issues raised in Tuesday's forum at North Avondale. Chris McCauley and Cristin Foster of the David Matthews Center joined parents and teachers and students from nearby Hayes K-8 School to engage the community to seek bullying solutions. When a parent spoke about a student who was literally vomiting in the school hallways and contemplating suicide, reality quickly set in.

"If you're a young kid, you just become consumed with fear all the time," Ross said.

The biggest takeaway from the forum was communication. Parents and teachers need to be open and students need to know their concerns will be taken seriously. Bullying goes so much deeper than banning children from Facebook or yelling at their offenders. Victims need to know that no matter how alone they feel, support is there. That goes for the bullies themselves - punishment shouldn't be the only result of their actions. We have to explore the root of their anger and correct it.

Ross is willing to be that ambassador. Her advice to victims of bullying: "Know that you're not alone. There's nothing wrong with you. You shouldn't blame yourself. Know that someone out there will listen to you."

Just stop by the North Avondale library. You're guaranteed to find a kind heart and open ears.

Edward Bowser is a
community engagement specialist for AL.com and The Birmingham News. He's always eager for conversation. If you know of an outstanding young professional who is bringing change to Birmingham, reach him on Twitter @etbowser, visit his Facebook page or email ebowser@al.com.