Finishing off Croatia can help to heal my wounds, insists John Terry

For the past two years John Terry has been haunted by images of the rainswept football pitches which have contributed to the greatest disappointments in his career with club and country.

Terry has had to live with the misery of slipping as he went to strike the decisive penalty in Moscow that would have won Chelsea the Champions League last year, as well as memories of watching from the stands as Croatia demolished England at Wembley to deny them a place at Euro 2008.

All he has wanted to do ever since is atone for the missed spotkick for his club and his enforced absence for his country.

The 28-year-old's personal quest for redemption at international level is set to come first, with victory for England against Croatia tonight enough to secure a place at the World Cup finals next year.

Many players had good reason to feel guilty for the 3-2 loss to Slaven Bilic's side in November 2007 and Terry includes himself as one of them - even though a back injury meant he didn't even play.

There were no pictures of the England captain in floods of tears that night, unlike when he was captured in a state of despair while still wearing his Chelsea shirt after the final whistle in Moscow.

Yet the blow inflicted by Bilic's men on England on that wet and miserable night at Wembley inflicted a much deeper wound which he has struggled to cope with ever since.

He said: "It would be very important for me, personally and collectively, to lead us to a World Cup. It has been a painful wait, a long couple of years, actually.

"I've had downs in my career, like the Champions League, but not qualifying for Euro 2008 with England is by far the worst for me.

"That has been burning away in my stomach for a very long time. I take things home with me. It will never leave me. I wake up in the middle of the night, still thinking about that stuff.

"When you're captain of the national team, you carry the weight of everyone on your shoulders. I took it very personally that we didn't qualify.

"I was there in the stands against Croatia. It was probably worse sitting there knowing I couldn't do anything about it.

"I'd just come back from a knee operation and had missed out by about a week. But I wasn't ready or fit to play. There was this thought, should I give it a go anyway, but you can't go out there at 50 per cent at this level.

"When the World Cup group was first announced and the fixtures came out, everyone looked at this fixture as the key one.

"No one knew the position we'd be in but we're holding all the aces right now in the group. It's now down to us to finish it off tonight and we have a great chance to do that."

It didn't help that while he was able to concentrate on his summer holidays 15 months ago, many of his Chelsea team-mates were with their nations' teams fighting it out in Austria and Switzerland.

It was a tournament remembered for the quality of play of Spain, the eventual winners, not that Terry gave himself a chance to notice.

He added: "I phoned the Chelsea lads, everyone who was involved. I was in touch with Michael Ballack throughout and wished him well.

"But I only watched about 10 minutes of one game while I was away, I couldn't bear to watch it. I was just kicking myself. The feeling that I should be there, we should be there, England should be there. I couldn't bear it.

"We've got that in the back of our minds to use as inspiration."

Coach Fabio Capello has certainly been keen to stress the future rather than the past in the build-up to this clash with Croatia. Revenge is not on his agenda and some would argue it has anyway already been achieved - with the 4-1 drubbing handed out to their rivals in Zagreb 12 months ago.

Victory tonight will prompt wild celebrations, yet for Terry he expects them to be confined more to the stands rather than among the men in white shirts because he sees it as just the beginning of achieving their goals.

He explained: "It's not a chance for us to celebrate but a chance for us to be happy about how far we've come.

"There was a big celebration on the pitch when we drew with Turkey away to qualify for Euro 2004 but it'll be relief more than anything if we manage to qualify tonight.

"If we do the fans are going to be in great spirits, however for us it's about what happens next. Look at our squad on paper. We have some of the best players in the world playing in the biggest competitions and we should be qualifying, simple as that."

However, Terry still feels the home fans have a massive part to play in making sure they do erase the bad memories Croatia caused once and for all.

He concluded: "It is really important that the crowd get us off to a good start. It was very hostile when we were over in Zagreb and our supporters can play a key role too, getting behind us like they always are."

Capello is expected to make only one change from the eleven that started against Slovenia on Saturday, with Aaron Lennon starting on the right wing in place of Shaun Wright-Phillips.