Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Goddess Fixation?

I have no idea whether anybody will actually buy this one. It's a bit out there. My test audience of four gave three guffaws and one "Huh?" But I see this as half the fun of blogging: You get to subject a large number of unsuspecting people to the freakish ideas spinning around in your head. Come closer, my pretties. Closer. Closer.

Maybe it also reveals something about me that this is the third design featuring an object of worship.*

I have a knitting Buddha sketch kicking around, but don't hold your breath waiting for the "Mohammed Knits" mug. I don't need that kind of trouble.

Anyway, about Venus. She's only on a bag and a simple t-shirt right now, but if you'd like to buy her on another style of shirt or whatever, speak up. We aim to please.

What I Said

What I said to the sleazy guy was, "I'm not knitting for charity this week."

Here I am, picturing you, taking up only one seat, and the majority of a table for two in a bustling coffe shop that's adorned with bright colored lighting and curved molding everywhere.

You: Concentrating on your lace pattern repeat.

Dork: Standing over your table, hunch-shoulder, glasses slipping down on his oily nose, he says, "Maybe you could knit me a jockstrap?", followed by a true snortle.

Alternative OneYou: Barely looking up from your complex knitting, "I'm not knitting for charity this week", while dismissing him by turning slightly in your seat toward the towering, square-jawed blond in the corner.

Alternative TwoYou: Looking up, clearly annoyed and exhaling audibly, "I'm not knitting for charity this week," and then staring him down till he walks away with his proverbial tail between his legs.

Alternative ThreeYou: Looking flummoxed and trying to decide on if you're horny enough to engage this geek in any conversation whatsoever, you stammer, "I'm not knitting for charity this week." He chortles, hoping this is an invitation to spar verbally, and later orally, and in disgust at both yourself and him, you get up and leave the remnants of your soy chai latte on the table.

Couldn't we have gotten at least a FEW more details about the encounter with the idiot?

I like the design. Of course, I've recently finished up the Greek/Roman section of one of my art history classes and I'm thinking much more about it's history than any person ever should. I've decided to keep all of that to myself, though, after making comments about the design on a dixie cup at a meeting at work today & how it was similar to motifs from Mesopotamian and Mycenean cultures. Um...yeah.

So what, V de M uses her pits to hold the needles? This is the best so far. If John Lennon could make fun of cripples, why not you?

I actually knew a woman who had one arm amputated above the elbow. That's how she knit, with a needle in the pit. And she knit better and faster than anyone I've ever met. I'd pit her against the Tiny Diva any day.

I go for Alternative #1. I can see you doing that more than the other two.

I really, really like the new design! I must have one, but I'll have to think about what I'd like it on. Maybe a hoodie, so the design is on the back and I don't have anyone staring at the boobs on my boobs, as it were.

Just so you know, I'm proudly wearing my 'new yoga' ringer T at work today and feeling extremely fun and cute (since I realized this morning I had a long sleeve T in the same salmon colour as the trim to layer underneath so I'm actually stylish which doesn't happen very often) and I added a kicky new haircut to the mix this afternoon and it's all good. And it's thanks to You!

Coming out of lurkdom to say I laughed out loud at the Venus picture - I, for one, think it's hysterical. 'course, I can't be buying no tees cuz my belly is rapidly expanding...but I can admire it from afar!

oh veeeeeeeeeenuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus (sorry bad bobby darrin impression there (that was bobby darin, wasn't it?)). i like. i cackled so loudly the boys came out looking for the wicked witch of the west.

Rats. Ignore last comment. Found the Venus sweatshirt. Ordered one of her and one of Kali, instead. Did NOT notice (but my 8-year-old pointed out) that one has no arms and one has eight. "What's with the arms, Mom?"

I've been enchanted with your blog for some time. Your unique ability to communicate feelings that so often mirror my own is uncanny, and I very much appreciate reading your posts (and wishing I could retain a mere speck of your whit).

I also love your drawings, but Venus spurred me to at long-last comment. Outstanding! I must have it in some form. I have been a knitter for at least 50 yrs. but you’re quickly catching up to me in technical expertise as well. Sorry I couldn’t make Rheinbeck to see the sweater and to meet you. Perhaps someday.

If someone is a true knitter they will always find a way to knit... arms or no arms. I remember watching a documentary years ago about a woman who had no arms but was still able to raise her son without any help. It was amazing just what she could do with her feet from washing her baby to changing a nappy to driving a column change car. It's no wonder my mother calls physically challenged people handi-capable.

Well, we can't all be Dorothy. I always like to strive to George S. Kaufman but always fall short. That's the thing with heroes.Of course this makes me wish you'd come to visit DC and sit in on our own Algonquin Knitting Circle. You would be oh so at home.I'd missed your blog all these weeks.

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