Thursday, August 16, 2012

At the end of any relationship we're left with two questions, though we get so stuck on one that we often forget the other. 1. Why did it not work? 2. What did I learn (about myself, my needs, my boundaries etc...)?

Once upon a time I fell in love with a woman. So much so that I asked her to marry me. Despite things my friends, family & sober self would call "red flags" I pursued her & her heart anyways. Love is blind.
Through good times & bad I was faithful, open & vulnerable. At least to the fullest extent in which I was capable at the time.
Fast forward to now. Happy, healthy, loving my life, pursuing my dreams and single.
So what did I learn?
I learned about what I'm willing to accept and what I'm never willing to tolerate.
I learned that I'm pretty complex in a simple way and that sometimes my simple ways aren't so to those outside my Elk.
I learned what is important to me in showing me 'Love' and one of those things is my partners ability to articulate the same. I learned that I enjoy eating grilled cheese sandwiches in little chairs that are waaaay to small for me. I've also learned that sometimes walking away is the only option we have - even when we do still care.
And most I've learned that Phil Collins/The Supreme's were right and that "You Can't Hurry Love."
Honestly, you can't. "No, You just have to wait," I mean "Love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take."
Movies fool us. Love is not like the movies. Thankfully cause most don't last past 2 hours.
I also learned falling in love is the easiest part cause new love is exciting and fresh and takes little work ('cept when we wooorking, youknowwhatI'msayin'?!) but love, Real Love (sing it Mary) takes time. Even though I really Love her, Real love you just can't hurry.
With wide open eyes and a wide open heart that's what I've been blessed to learn.
We'll see how long that lasts...
Bless,
Mark

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