Thursday, February 19, 2009

Very Discouraged

This is not going to be a happy post. I was very excited to be going to visit the birthing center at Wesley Medical Center yesterday. I had talked to a nurse on the phone and what she told me was very encouraging. When I got to the hospital, it was a different story all together. I have in my mind the way I want my birth do go. I do not want very much medical intervention. I want a very natural and low key birth. I do not want an epidural or IV of any sort. I want to be free to move around as I want. I want to be able to freely hydrate myself as I feel fit. I want a whirlpool to manage my pain with. I want anyone who wants to be in the room with me there with me. I don't want to be hooked up to a bunch of machines. I have not chosen all the options half heartily. I have put a lot of thought and research into all the chooses that I make. There is no one on this earth that would care more about my unborn children than me. I think about what is best for them and myself. I am very discouraged with all the questions and unsupportive people. I am discouraged that as a society we have gotten away from what a natural process that birth is. IT IS NOT A MEDICAL PROCEDURE PEOPLE!!! It is a natural act of God! I just want to be able to have my baby the way I want to and where I want to! Those are the two things that are clashing right now. I don't want to give birth in a hospital because I can't do it the way I want to do it. I can't give birth in a birthing center, which would support my birth, because there is not one within 2 hours of where I live. I don't want to drive 2+ hours to give birth while I'm in labor. I also don't want to give birth at my house but it looks like that is going to be my only option. At least I only live 2 miles from the hospital if something does go wrong. That option is making more sense to me everyday. At least then me and everyone else will be comfortable. I don't know I'm just very discouraged right now.

2 comments:

I am sorry you were disappointed and discouraged with your visit today...I hope you are able to figure out something where your needs/wishes are met as closely as possible, but where you and baby are remain safe. I would beg you not to have a baby at home...the chance of something actually "going wrong" is quite low, but if something does go wrong the risk of you and/or baby suffering serious complications is high. Have you asked around about how your local hospital handles birth? Some hospitals are remarkably willing to compromise with you on some things as long as you and baby are safe and healthy. Be sure to choose a Certified Nurse Midwife...not just a lay midwife. CNMs are Registered Nurses who have an Advanced Practice/Master's Degree in Mifwifery. Just remember that things may not go as planned...sometimes baby has a mind of its own or your body just won't cooperate. For example, Rosalyn was determined to remain in the breech position which left no safe option but cesarean delivery. I would hate for you to feel like you somehow failed if things don't go just as planned! I am glad you are thinking ahead and weighing your options.

I'm sorry to hear you were so disappointed. What discouraged you so much? You really didn't say what about the Wesley center made you so disappointed. I hope things work out.You are right - birth is not intended to be a "medical procedure" as you say, but consider the moments just after birth... the baby may need something that a home birth could not immediately offer. Not saying that a home birth is not the way to go... just saying it's not all about just the delivery, there's a lot more to it than that! I know, Lots and lots of things to think about and consider!!! It can be quite overwhelming!!!