Thursday, April 23, 2009

My sweet little baby girl

Tonight while I was packing goodie bags and getting things ready for Regan’s class birthday party tomorrow, it made me stop and think for a moment. My baby is going to be five years old!!! The time has just flown by. She is such an amazing, sweet, funny, talented, thoughtful, loving, dramatic, creative, and fun little girl!!! I could not even being to imagine my life with out her.

Making the decision to have another child after getting Collin’s diagnosis was hard. If you were to ask me when Collin was little when we were going to have another child I would always respond “ask me in a year.” The first several years of Collin’s life were filled with surgery after surgery and constant hospital visits. The thought of having another child was overwhelming. When Collin was three years old we finally got the diagnosis of Trichothiodystrophy. At this time we also found out that it is an autumnal recessive genetic illness. In other words Jason and I are both gene carries and there is a 25 percent chance that any child we had would also have TTD. Jason and I both knew that we would love to have more children but were scared at the thought of having to watch another child endure and go through everything that we had to watch Collin go through. Also, Collin is, and always has been very demanding physically and emotionally. I didn’t know if I could physically take care of two children with TTD.

Then it happened we put our trust in the Lord. Jason and I had both been feeling like we needed to have another child very strongly. We fasted, prayed, and talked a LOT. One evening while we were in the temple it was as if I was getting a slap in the back of the head and an overwhelming feeling of “don’t you trust me?” Jason and I both walked away that night knowing that we had received the answer to our prayers. We didn’t want to tell anyone that we were going to try to have a baby BUT we needed to tell Jason’s mother “just in case.” What do I mean by just in case? Well, with Collin my pregnancy was awful and I was on bed rest by 26 weeks. I knew that if the same thing happened with this baby I would need a TON of help with a very demanding child. We talked to Jason’s mother and she was so excited that we were at a point were we felt good about it. She was more than happy to be there to help “just in case.”

All Jason had to do was look at me and I was pregnant. Wink! We were both so excited when we got the conformation that I was in fact pregnant. We received mixed reactions from friends and family. Some were very happy and others were surprised that we would choose to have another child knowing the risk. When everyone got over the initial shock I have to say they were very supportive. My pregnancy with Regan was wonderful! It was so much different than my pregnancy with Collin. I felt such comfort and peace the entire time. I was not sick and LOVED the opportunity I had to eat, blame it on the baby, and manage to actually keep it down.Regan came later than we had expected. Now looking back I think it was one of her first selfless acts. The week that I was due to have Regan ,Collin was being honored by Jon Wooden for being the most inspirational student for our school district. I was so sad that I was going to miss it but to my surprise Regan stayed put in my tummy so that I could enjoy that night. I was HUGE, uncomfortable, and she was kicking and making her presence known the entire time but I was so thankful that I didn’t miss it.

Regan’s birth was so wonderful. Once she FINALLY decided to come into this world and join our family I was so thrilled. By this point I had tried everything to start labor and she made it very clear that she was going to come on her own terms. The delivery was so beautiful. I was able to pull her out myself and then immediately have her on my chest. This was a new and amazing experience. With Collin they rushed him away to intabate him and I didn’t ever get to see him. Jason was so excited to be able to cut her cord another first that we did not have with Collin’s delivery. The day was perfect. From the moment that she came into this world she fit perfectly into our family. She was such an amazing baby and is now such a caring big sister. She is not daunted at all by all that she is asked to do or give up because of her sweet brother.

About Me

I am the mother of two amazing children and have been married to my best friend for 12 years. I love photography and the moments that you can capture forever. We were told that our son would not live past his first birthday. My love for photographs took on an entirely new meaning when I did not think that we would have much time with our son. Almost eleven years later and our son is still with us and my appreciation for photography and capturing the good and the not so good is stronger than it has ever been.