“The Menace” is a 9-4 product fighting out of Ontario, Canada who has collected all 9 of those wins by way of KO or TKO inside the first two rounds. He often trains with the likes of Mark Hominick and Sam Stout, because there can only be so many MMA gyms in that tundra known as Canada, am I right or am I right? *High fives self*

A little known fact about Clements: he is the man responsible for retiring UFC vet Jonathan Goulet back at Rinside MMA-Payback in November of 2010, the video of which is after the jump.

There is a Russian proverb that roughly goes, “He that is afraid of bad luck will never know good.” And it is a rare bit of good sense from our Russki comrades; we should not live in fear of things beyond our control like luck, but rather have the confidence in ourselves to believe that our hard work will eventually pay off, be it in fame, fortune, or fiine women. But for every bit of good luck we have, some poor sap out there has a much, much worse day because of it. Like the Mortal Kombat tournaments, these gentlemen’s misfortunes are necessary to maintain the order between realms, so it is to these brave souls that we pay tribute.

We’re talking about those guys who just happened to be on the losing side of a future champion’s debut, or got crushed before they could even get their footing. We’re talking about guys who put their hearts and souls into a sport for years, only to have their debut in the sport’s highest promotion be overshadowed by someone that was just on another level.

So, without further ado, here are the six unluckiest sons of bitches that the UFC has ever seen.

How it went down: Let us start with the most recent. Before entering the octagon, Alex Soto was 6-0-1 over local to mid-level competition. Mcdonald, on the other hand, was a 13-1 fighter out of California that had split a pair of contests with former WEC featherweight champion Cole Escovedo, and had scored wins over legitimate UFC competition in Edwin Figueroa and Chris Cariaso. On paper, it was going to be a tough debut for Mr. Soto. In the flesh, it was actually much, much tougher.

Fresh off his upset Submission of the Night victory over Melvin Guillard at UFC 136, Joe Lauzon was quick to respond when called out by former WEC lightweight champion Anthony Pettis, who scored a decision victory over Jeremy Stephens at the same event. Well it looks like “Showtime” will be getting his wish, as the two have been booked to lock horns at UFC 144, in what could easily be a Fight of the Night match-up. Prior to their 136 victories, Lauzon scored a quick and nasty kimura victory over Kurt Warburton at UFC Live 4 whereas Pettis was wrestlefucked into oblivion by Clay Guida at the TUF 13 Finale in June. This is the point where I’d normally say that a victory here would rocket either man near the top of the lightweight ladder, but considering that the division is currently more crowded than a So-Cal Quinceanera, let’s just say that a victory here will keep either man…from losing.

Dana White’s video blogs, though sporadic, have taken an increasingly interesting turn in that they are now largely made up of post-fight footage from UFC events rather than the day-to-day extravagance that is “The Baldfather’s” life. As with his UFC 136 vlog, Dana gives us a brief introduction and wishes us a happy Halloween before throwing us behind the scenes of UFC 136 to witness the agony of defeat firsthand.

Particularly tough to watch is that of Melvin Guillard, who, after having his lightweight title aspirations choked out of him by Joe Lauzon, completely loses his shit backstage, throwing a chair across the room before breaking down on his hands and knees as the doctor’s try to attend to him. Even Joe Warren had to look away.

Of the 11 bouts hosted at UFC 136, eight went to the judges — which made the other three seem even more special by comparison. In case you missed ‘em on Saturday, take a look back at the two dramatic submissions and one classic knockout from “Edgar vs. Maynard III.”

Just a friendly reminder that we will have the live stream of today’s UFC 136 weigh-ins from Houston, Texas starting at 5:00 pm ET.

There’s a pretty good chance that at least one fighter is getting shoved during the festivities. Unfortunately we likely won’t hear from Stann or Sonnen since Joe Rogan typically only interviews the main event participants, so we’l have to settle for listening to Maynard say that Frankie has his belt and to Edgar say he’s sick of fighting Gray.

In the early days of The Ultimate Fighter, simply spraying water on a sleeping person was considered a brilliant prank. But after 14 seasons, the bar has been steadily raised for in-house trickery, to the point where even the coaches are now gleefully stripping cars of their tires. We thought we’d pay tribute to the TUF prank tradition by running down the most infamous pranks of the show’s history. Enjoy, and let us know if we’ve left out any of your favorites…

See, this is what I’m talking about. Any moron can piss on a bed — but it takes a man to spend all afternoon painting walls pink and arranging stuffed animals in vaguely sexual poses. The best moment is at the very end, when Rashad Evans comes to the realization that the pacifier he’d been sucking on had definitely been up Tiki’s ass at some point.

Want to make some real money this weekend? Then come over to my place on Saturday afternoon and be prepared to clean some toilets. Want to make some hypothetical, for-entertainment-purposes-only money this weekend? Then check out the latest UFC 136 betting lines (via BestFightOdds) and read our gambling advice after the jump.

Heavy.com’s Megan Olivi caught up with Dana White following the UFC 136 press conference today and picked the UFC president’s brain about a few hot topics that have been swirling around MMA blogs and messageboards as of late.

White gave some insight into how he expects the UFC’s first dual event to go down, logistically, and shared his thoughts on what title implications certain bouts from UFC 136 might have including Stann versus Sonnen and Lauzon versus Guillard. He also mentioned that the future of Strikeforce could be determined this week as Showtime will likely announce whether or not it intends to re-up with the now Zuffa-owned promotion.