Television

I can’t figure out this TV. “I am a Computer Science major!” I yell at it, as if this will make it bow down to my authority. This is not my fault. This TV hasn’t beaten me. This camel technology is old and outdated and the remote has too many buttons and works on a delay.

“Do you see what you’ve reduced me to?!” I demand of it. “Now I’m just pressing ALL the buttons! WHY DON’T YOU WORK?!”

“Try the other remote, Leila.” My sister says in a strained voice that is really saying, “just give me the remote.”

I find myself saying “I’m a Computer Science major” a lot as a sort of stand in for, “but I should be able to do this.” But it’s backfired. It’s become less of a call for technology to bow before my knowledge and authority, and more of someone’s grandmother saying, “I just wanted to take some computer courses at the community college so I could understand what you kids are talking about, but it hasn’t helped at all!”