Friday, February 13, 2009

WTF?!

Happy Friday, Happy Friday, Happy Friday! I just got back from the eye doctor and boy, are my arms tired. Wait, is that not the joke? Okay, never mind. Got some new contacts in, some free solution, a salad from Pret a Manger, Doug arrives tonight, I feel great, and we're ready to rock and roll. Nevermind the housing woes, work stress, or zit on my forehead, b/c it's FRIDAY!!! I'm anxiously counting down the minutes before I can go home--so much to do. In the mean time, though, here is a special Friday edition of WTF!?

WTFSalmaHayek?!

We all know SalmaHayek has big boobies, that much is obvious. And we also all know that her boobies are extra big because of the baby she just had. But there was a video posted this week of Salma doing her part to save the world and feeding a malnourished child in Sierra Leone. If you want to check out the horrifying video, you can do so here. Now, I'm so glad to know that you're lactating Salma, that's awesome. And good for you for saving the world, but seriously people, WTF?! What pregnant ladies actually do that?! Ai. WTF.

Wtf, Octo-Mom?!

By now everyone and their retarted step-child has heard about Octo-mom and her eight babies. But these pictures....oh these pictures. It's totally worse than Kate Gosselin's pictures when she was pregnant and had that HORRIBLE hair cut (actually, when does Kate NOT have a horrible haircut?). Her belly looks like a human head....:::shudder::: WTFOcto-mom, wtf.

WTF Joaquin Phoenix?!

Joaquin Phoenix is normally an attractive man. But the less I can look at the current installment of his face, the better. I've seen homeless people look better than him. I mean, what about the guy that Zack and Screech saved on the special Christmas episode of Saved By the Bell? Totally looked better that Joaquin. Remember when Zack put a twenty in the phone? Zack: "Merry Christmas." Homeless Frank: "Thanks to you son, it will be." Then he falls in love with with Homeless Frank's daughter, Homeless Laura. Oh man, that's some good stuff. Anyway, yeah, Joaquin Phoenix is crazy.

WTF Mandy Moore?

So apparently Mandy Moore and singer Ryan Adams (not to be confused with Bryan Adams) are engaged. Um...Mandy? Honey? Sweetie? You have seen him, right? I mean, I'm not saying I'm the best looking guy out there but Ryan Adams? REALLY? And I think that Mandy Moore is a hot little piece of meat so it confuses me why she'd date down. And not only date down, but marry down! Fail, Mandy. Major WTF fail.

W.T.F WTF?!?!?!

No, that's not the kid's little brother---it's his SON!!!!!! And no, that lady isn't his mom, it's his GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!! The boy is 13, the girl is 15. They thought that having a baby would be fun, so they did it. At 13?!?!? I didn't even know your stuff could work like that at 13?!?! That's just so not right, so many shades of wrong I can't even begin to think about it. Homegirl done be lookin' rough too, just as a side note. Anyway, mazeltov. Good luck to ya cause you're going to need it! Condoms people, condoms. Wtf.

WTF Hilarious: Part 1, Angela

Who saw The Office last night? HILARIOUS. Angela bought a new cat ($7,000!!! As Creed would say "I can get you a kid for that much") and set up a video so she could watch it while at work.

While Oscar and Kevin were watching her, she started to GROOM THE CAT. As in LICKING THE CAT with her tongue. Now, I love my cats, but that's just crazy.

And hilarious.

Later at work she coughed up a hairball. You should have seen me--I was dying.

They also gave Kelly Kapur a birthday party and as her present, gave her the option of watching one hour of tv while at work, or taking a one hour nap. As nice as it would be to watch tv at work....well....I already do that. So I'd pick a nap too!!!

WTF Hilarious Part 2: Liz LEEEMON!!

Omg, Liz was on a date with the super hot Jon Hamm, when she left to use the restroom. He opened a window in the kitchen and the bathroom door swung open to reveal this:

I was DYING. He was like "we just went from date 1, to 20" and she said "no! I would NEVER let you see that!" So funny.

Also, Jack was late for his Valentine's Day reservations with SalmaHayek b/c she made him go to church. During the Our Father, his phone rang and it was his assistant. This is what he said:

"Our Jonathan, who art in the office, hallowed be my reservation. If you are able, hold my table at Plunder as we well not be there by seven. Have them delay our heavenly desert and forgive us our lateness, as we forgive those who cause lateness against us."

Again, I was dying. A great night of comedy all around.

Well, WTF, I now find myself in the mid-afternoon. Talk about a late blog post! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go make a call to British Ben. :) I'll be posting the Gay Truth Booth later this afternoon so look forward to that--no lisp this time!!!

7 comments:

Joachin was on Letterman a night or two ago and Dave was so disgusted with him that he didn't hold back at the insults. I thought Joachin was gonna slug Dave. Interesting and repulsive at the same time.

when I saw the title of your blog I knew before seeing it that there would be a picture of Joaquin on there. WTF? Is right. I think (I hope) that he's doing some sort of social experiment.

I haven't breast fed in almost a year, but seeing that beautiful video with Salma breast feeding was enough to almost make me start lactating again. Seriously. I would totally be a wet nurse if I could. I think that would be the greatest job in the world.

Great Post, as per usual. Have a great weekend. Say hi to Doug for me!(Sorry I deleted the comment just before this because it did something really strange when I posted it.)

About Me

I was born in the wagon of a traveling show. My mama used to dance for the pennies they'd throw. I'm miss American dream since I was seventeen. I'm Mrs. Lifesytle's of the rich and famous. I'm Mrs. oh my God that Britney's shameless...oh wait...no I'm not. I'm just me. Brian B.