Buzzkill New App Promises To Keep Teens From Sexting

The UK’s Education Secretary Micheal Gove has attached his name to an app called Love Book that will discourage sexting by giving young lovers the ability to send each other recording of classic love poetry instead of sexting, which The Telegraph defines as “the practice of sending sexually explicit images or messages from smartphones.” This is a brilliant initiative, because teens were likely sending nudie pics, suggestive ellipses, and winky faces to each other only because they didn’t know that poetry was an available option.

Gove says that the app “will allow children to make sense of their own feelings in a way that is more graceful, expressive and beautiful [than sexting],” which is probably true. It’s also probably true that exactly no teens will ever choose to send poetry to their paramours (unless they wrote it themselves on Xanga).

Youths just can’t keep their phones in their pockets anymore, and it’s a damn shame. While I’m anti-minors sending sexually explicit messages to each other and I am staunchly pro-poetry, this seems like the most ass backwards way to go about handling the situation. Maybe more comprehensive sex ed with a focus on open communication would be the ticket. But then again, then people would have to openly and honestly discuss sex with THE CHILDREN and that would be icky, so it’s better to hand them some poetry and say “this is as good as a picture of boobs.”

On a personal note, if anyone wants to send me poetry (written by a professional poet) and call it a sext, I’m totally on board.