Like a lot of liberal Americans, I was excited when Barack Obama took office four years ago. But it's a very different world now. And Mitt Romney is a very different candidate, one with the vision and determination to cut through businesses' usual politics and finally put this country back on the path to the zombie apocalypse.
Romney is ready to make the deep rollbacks in health care, education, social services, reproductive rights, that will guarantee poverty, unemployment, overpopulation, disease, rioting, all crucial elements in creating a nightmare zombie wasteland. ...
Let's all embrace the future. Stop pretending we care about each other, and start hoarding canned goods. Because if Mitt takes office, sooner or later the zombies will come for all of us.