Messages to the Living from the Dying and to those at the Door of No Return

Not everyone has the luxury of “lead time” when it comes to leaving
this life behind. Although many people have lingering illnesses or
health challenges of some kind, many are “called away” in a flash. And
age, as we well know, has nothing to do with it — so I’d suggest no
one go around thinking they’ve got all the time in the world to have
such thoughts “later” — just because they’re on the sunny side of 40,
or even 50 or 60.
First, we have to face the facts: Chances are, every single one of us
will die. It’s a good bet. And some of us will die with little or no
notice at all. How much “notice” would we need to get ready? you might
ask. Well, it all depends on what one means by “ready,” doesn’t it?
A group of friends and I were having a discussion this past week on
that very thing. But rather than get into all the things that
constitute getting “ready,” I will focus in on just one: the actual
messages we will leave behind.
The subject came up because of the recent “buzz,” if you will, over
the new book, “Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth.” If
ever there might have been important messages left behind, one would
imagine that Jesus would have left some for his apostles. Actual
personal messages, as opposed to his teachings at large. Individual
messages, addressing how they handled their “job” of being an apostle,
and how to better go forth from that day to do an even better “job,”
and how much they were loved.
To Simon Zelotes (a name that sounds like the root for the word
zealot) he could have offered these parting words: “Simon, you are a
true son of Abraham, but what a time I have had trying to make you a
son of this heavenly kingdom. I love you and so do all of your
brethren. I know that you love me, Simon, and that you also love the
kingdom, but you are still set on making this kingdom come according
to your liking. I know full well that you will eventually grasp the
spiritual nature and meaning of my gospel, and that you will do
valiant work in its proclamation, but I am distressed about what may
happen to you when I depart. I would rejoice to know that you would
not falter; I would be made happy if I could know that, after I go to
the Father, you would not cease to be my apostle, and that you would
acceptably deport yourself as an ambassador of the heavenly kingdom.”
Then Jesus might go on to tell him what he believes Simon really needs
to know: “I am not concerned with your loyalty to me and to the
kingdom, but what will you do when I go away and you at last wake up
to the realization that you have failed to grasp the meaning of my
teaching, and that you must adjust your misconceptions to the reality
of another and spiritual order of affairs in the kingdom?”
And perhaps in nearing the end of his last personal message to this
apostle, Jesus might have added, “Do not forget what I have taught you
regarding the relation of citizenship on earth to sonship in the
Father’s spiritual kingdom. Ponder well all that I have said to you
about rendering to Caesar the things which are Caesar’s and to God
that which is God’s. Dedicate your life, Simon, to showing how
acceptably mortal man may fulfill my injunction concerning the
simultaneous recognition of temporal duty to civil powers and
spiritual service in the brotherhood of the kingdom.”
And he would no doubt want to tie up any loose ends in the message
with a reminder that there will never be a conflict between the
requirements of citizenship on earth and sonship in heaven — unless,
of course, some earthly rulers presume to require of its citizens the
homage and worship which belong only to God.
One member of our discussion group shared that he had a relative that
left behind individual messages for certain friends and family members
to read after he was gone. As I recall, he said that the messages
alluded to certain things the recipients had said or done that
enhanced the deceased’s life in some way. Think about that! Finding
out how important that favor was that you did for someone 20 years
ago, or what your few words of wisdom or comfort or kindness meant,
when given at that most-needed moment way back when.
Of course people will always want to leave behind some kind of
“message” as to where the key to their lockbox is located, or what the
combination to their safe is, or even details about a secret bank
account and the like. But what about letting these people know the
place they had in your life, what you always remembered or loved about
them, and why you were their friend or cherished being their relative?
Sometimes, however, it is the living that want to pass on a message to
the dying. And while we can agree that none of us knows the exact hour
of our own passing-to-be, we can probably also agree that we know not
the hour of anyone else’s passing either. Therefore, if we have
anything we want to say to someone who is at THAT door, now is indeed
the time to say it, since we are not promised a Tomorrow.
I really like the idea of good-bye messages, one way or the other.
I’ve already started on mine for my children (being the writer that I
am, I can tell you that they’re turning out to be veeeeery long)! And
I visit a friend every day who is at THAT door and try to get in one
little part of all the things I want to say to her before she passes
through that portal of no return.
Well, while I’m in the message mode and have everyone’s attention, may
I say that I appreciate all those who read my column, all those who
personally comment to me about particular columns that move them, and
those who have any kind words for what I write in general. I may never
meet you, but I appreciate you.
Now you might want to go and consider the messages that you will write
to those you’ll leave behind; and depending on any such situation
being at hand in your own life, consider saying whatever is in your
heart today to those who may at this very moment be at the Door of No
Return. When your tomorrow comes around, and that person is no longer
there to greet the sun or look upon your face, you’ll be glad you did!
Maramis Choufani is the Managing Editor of the Las Vegas Tribune. She
writes a weekly column in this newspaper. To contact Maramis, email
her at maramis@lasvegastribune.com.

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