Receive the latest archive updates in your inbox

The former presidential candidate has enlisted a vast parade of surrogates to write tragic fund-raising emails on her behalf.

Anyone who made the mistake of trying to "participate in democracy" by giving money to a presidential candidate last year knows that their punishment for this grievous sin is to be bombarded with pointless wheedling money-grubbing emails forever.

It's bad enough when the appeals come from Barack Obama trying to hawk mugs and fleeces so that he can raise some extra scratch for his fancy inaugural. What a horribly tacky and tone-deaf thing, to spend a lot of money on such fancy bells and whistles as restroom facilities and security for an expected crowd of over 1 million! If Obama was a true patriot who cared about the economy, he'd have told all those people to stay home.

Probably the weirdest offender in the fundraising email category is our Secretary of State-designate Hillary Clinton. Remember this woman? Ran for president, started losing, loaned her campaign more extravagant sums of money the losinger things got, eventually ended up millions of dollars in the hole? As recently as last week, she was still trying to recoup some of those lost funds, and had enlisted such blameless victims as Jill Biden and her own mother, Dorothy Rodham, in her campaign to harass America to death.

Here's a portion of the email that Jill Biden wrote a week and a half ago, presumably at gunpoint:

We’re just 11 days away from the start of an important journey that will move our country in a new direction.

Team Obama

But as we all prepare for that journey, we can’t forget our commitment to help Hillary Clinton retire her campaign debt. [...] Will you help us honor our promise and support our friend Hillary Clinton by making a donation of $100 or more today?

And this, from Hillary's own poor beleaguered mother on Friday:

Now I have to ask you -- for the very last time -- to give her your help. This is our last chance to help Hillary pay down the debt from her history-making campaign.

I know how much it would mean to her to have your help this one last time. Please take this opportunity to show Hillary your support by making a contribution today.

Ugh. It is just sad when an 89-year-old woman is conscripted into sending pleading emails on behalf of a multi-millionaire, ex-senator, ex-first lady who can't be bothered to do her own fundraising because she is busy pursuing yet another job that will guarantee her lucrative speaking fees and fantastical personal wealth in her retirement.

With any luck, this flood of emails from all quarters will abate at least temporarily. Tomorrow a new president will be sworn in and we can take an ever-so-brief breather before the 2012 presidential campaign commences, in March.