Perhaps your household works without a structure. Go you. The rest of us mortals need to figure out how this thing works. This is a spot for talking about how we create the structure of our various domestic arrangements.

Jigsaw has been active, not recently, but more recently than she has been here, on punishmentbook.net which used to be the sister site of this forum... That indicates to me that she was ok at least then (that was 6 months ago now). I suppose, like the rest of us, she had reasons she couldn't be here.

'I had made the mistake of powering up my consciousness without having the appropriate scaffolding in place'

I log on quite often and there is rarely anything new. But I like reading the old stuff. Funny this thread was started by me when things felt very dire. T and I now firmly ensconced together in 24/7... He sold his flat, left his job to finish his novel and we have settled into a pattern of ordinary life, with D/s in the background of everything. It feels natural now, not so tortured. I continue to think about the deeper meaning of it all, what the desire for ttwd opens up in us, and it's very good to be with someone who has the same bent. Ha, ha.....

Yes, I feel a bit like my old self again. We will see how it develops. Even at her most open to dd, my wife did not crave it, and could always do without it, though at different points she did see the benefits and, while she might deny it, it did turn her on some. But I think she is ready to lose a few pounds, and dd is a big help with that for sure.

I'm glad some of that is happening for you, too. I had to smile at your statement about her having trouble admitting to being turned on by it. I understand the feeling well. As long as she's willing for whatever reason, I hope you both enjoy.

Her head is not in the same place as when she was getting spanked more and I think that has a lot to do with it. When she was in her late thirties and early forties, and she was trying to get pregnant, through when the kids were small, she was in a nesting phase, and somewhat more open to submissive eroticism and spanking, for both pleasure and discipline. The hormone changes play a role, I am sure. Now with the kids older, the administrative role larger in scheduling things, and the change of life starting, her reaction to being spanked is not what it was.