Nigerian Girl Problems…2

With so many problems to talk and rant about as a Nigerian geh, I should probably make this title a series, or else I’m going to run out of creative ones to use. I’m currently battling the flu so my bed has become my best friend, and there is only so much usefulness you can achieve when you are on your back. Bored out of my mind and lacking inspiration, I decided to check http://www.lindaikeji.blogspot.com for my daily dose of “local news” and I saw that BlackMagic, (for my non-Nigerian friends/readers: he is a Nigerian musician or something) he said something weird when he was on The Spot(that’s a show on Ebonylife TV) yesterday.

I know everyone is entitled to their opinion and everything, but I sort of lose respect for people who still think like this in 2014. Is he saying that when you can’t cook, you are not fit to be called a woman? Really? I don’t subscribe to his logic at all and I feel bad for the girls he has dated in the past. Or is dating, that’s if he is dating at all.(it wouldn’t surprise me).

If you follow me on Instagram, you already know how obsessed I am with food and the process of making it, then why am I blogging about what Black Magic said, you might wonder. Well, I like to cook, but just for me, myself and I, cooking for friends or family takes a huge piece out of me and I do it for only those I really really like, and no, boyfriends are not included. that’s why sometimes I wonder why my male friends want to leave the friendzone(there are so many advantages there), as a boyfriend you will so spend your money. But I digress:-)

I dated a guy who once expected me to cook, like he dropped diamonds at my feet every morning, that didn’t last very long as you can already tell. There was a friend of mine in college from a very wealthy home, I knew for a fact that she never went into her kitchen at home, they had two chefs(Gosh, I miss that girl), two freaking chefs and because of “love” she started to pound yam for an idiot guy she was dating, cooked for his friends and everything but what did he do for her? Exactly!

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!

She got nothing in return, if we go back to the beginning, in Genesis( the Bible one), the Creator, (I’m gonna paraphrase here) made a man and put him in the garden, gave him a job and told him all his responsibilities and stuff then he saw that the guy was such an “accomplished” creature and thought he should have company so he gave him a girl, who was supposed to be his companion and keep him company. I think I got the gist of it, now, my friend was being a companion to an “unaccomplished” creature, because he had no job, didn’t even know his place in the world yet. My point here is, as a modern Nigerian girl who still has very traditional values, I don’t see why a girl has to be responsible for catering to a “him” who isn’t “hers” legally. Am I making sense? No?

I see your point, I probably digressed again,hehehe.

Here is my own: why shouldn’t boys and girls be able to succeed in the kitchen? Something as personal as nourishing yourself shouldn’t be left to a girl, should it? Besides, it’s 2014! If she can’t cook, get over it(maybe she has enough money to hire a chef). Cooking isn’t what defines the essence of womanhood, if a guy keeps failing at getting and keeping a job, should I go ahead and label him a failure? What happens to the woman who is a CEO and her husband is an excellent home maker, what happens to that? Its not very “Nigerian” is it, well get over it, its happening, you might as well get with the program.

I’m not against the “traditional” roles of men and women in our society, I’d probably be dead before it changes(I don’t care), but don’t be a hypocrite and accept certain parts of evolution and development(Westernization, as they like to call it) then reject the others as it pleases your mood.

You kinda lose your credibility.

Personally, cooking is a very sentimental thing for me, and you can almost taste how much I care about someone in the food, if I’m not in a good mood or I don’t like you, OR I just feel you’re not worth it, I’m gonna cook, feel free to die. So, dear friends of mine who have had the rare opportunity to eat my food, you know where you stand:-) And the dudes I dated who didn’t taste it, well…you know.

I am done ranting, heading to the kitchen now to grill me some steak for dinner. Am I the only one who has a problem with what he said, or? Drop a comment, let me know what you think?

Post navigation

51 thoughts on “Nigerian Girl Problems…2”

He’s just a dumbass shikena! And no I’m not apologetic for calling him that. Sometimes, I think Nigerian guys think the sun shines out of their ass. I LOVE cooking but just like you, I enjoy doing it for the trio that’s me, myself and I. It doesn’t make me less of a woman! I’m not created to be any guy’s chef or hand maiden. To enjoy any culinary benefits from me, he’d have to put a ring on it *FULL STOP 😐. PS I paused my post ‘Things Men Say to Women’ to check this out. Will have to include this cooking issue so some guys just learn to shut up

I love 2 cook but not 4 a man especially wen ur nt my father or brother.black magic is d kind of nigerian man dt keeps a slave and nt a wife.wat happened 2 eating out or doin dishes as a man knowing dt ur wife is also a career woman and a mother who doesnt run on batteries. In all honesty a womans place is in her mans heart and as much as I lurv 2 cook I make it clear 2 the guys I date…..DON’T EXPECT ME TO COOK, that way, wen I decide to, he realizes he was certainly favored by God.

first of all , let me start by saying i absolutely love Black magic’s music . so i am sad. Now i shall rant …. I absolutely hate it when Nigerain guys (some) actually almost all , automatically assume that a girl’s role is to cook . I like to cook , i am a decent cook but i do not love cooking . Cooking does not get me super excited .

in 2014 , you would think guys will stop this silly mentality about girls having cooking skills as part of their repertoire . Infact I am angry , If you are a boy and u do not know to cook i CANNOT marry you , u have failed . I LOve food and i want someone to cook for me too.

Amyn this is your fault , I am at work but i paused to read and comment and I am very angry cos i love Black Magic.

Hope am allowed to insult? He is very stupid. I use to listen to his songs honestly I like them, maybe I should stop. I like good food though am not go at it, lol, The Mafia thinks otherwise. I hate cooking, it’s exhausting and time consuming. If I cook, it has to be perfect and for it to be perfect you have to be really special, but sometimes I don’t just care. All this yeye boys that will not respect themselves, Amyn the Genesis story is perfect. You have hands and brains to learn how to cook. It’s very disrespect for guys to tag ladies with the WEEK (women’s employment ends in the kitchen) term. She was not born to be your chef but companion. If she decides to cook or not to cook live with it. If you are embracing westernization,go the full mile. If not be straight African, shikana. Hope I spelt that correctly? Hahaha

first in his defense he said “if you dont know how to cook you have failed as a GIRL”. For the purpose of this topic i think i think he meant girl as in a 12 yr old female child. That said…

black magic is just saying crap. he might make good music (and I think he should just stick to that) but he has no business talking about women and kitchens. Stick to what you know.
Me I dont even like cooking. I dont eat much so my stay in the kitchen is almost always short. I also will not cook for anyone thats not family, and if I have to..oh well…(i once cooked a saltless moimoi cos i was not in the mood to cook and i had to cook for people i didnt like atall!!) And as for cooking for a boyfriend..bleh! put a ring on it or hire a chef or maid.

blackmagic can go kiss a scorpion with that his yegeyege mouth for all I care.

I pity the species of males who rant about cooking. Woe betide them!! I have a flare for cooking, but wont respect any man who feels it is my duty to. Blackmagic should show the nearest transformer to him some love.

I’ll start with addressing Funbi: Dear Funbi, we can’t get married, because I hate cooking,I can’t cook & I won’t cook to save my life, so if a wife or girlfriend is expecting that as some romantic side attraction, she don jam rock!

As for Black Magic, somehow, I understand where he’s coming from, though civilization has change things considerably. Cooking comes naturally to a lady, just like for a guy, changing tyres of a car or queuing for fuel in times of fuel scarcity comes naturally to a guy.

Any lady that cares about what I eat or how I eat has to do the cooking for me, if not I’m okay with having a bottle of fanta and biscuits as b/fast, lunch & supper. That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate good food though.

Dear Okey, you see the word in capital letters in my comment abi?So before you even typed your reply sef ,there was no chance of marriage .moving on, NO!, a man cooking isnt just some “romantic side attraction” as you put it . If a girl “needs” to know how to cook ,so her wife material can be correct so should the guy .

i get you are ok with fanta and biscuit ,but you still say she “has” to do the cooking for you, so for you too, if she cant cook there is still a problem.

What does he mean by he can’t cook to save his life, he’s saying it with so much pride, thinking about it, jacob and esau in the bible had to cook for their father to bless them, why Didnt they tell their dad that it wasn’t their place yo cook but their mum’s? All these naija guys sef…..rolling my eyes

irst of,just like Funbi,I’m a blackmagic fan and it kills me 2 see and read that silly comment.I love kitchens,not just any kind of kitchen but a CLEAN and well organised kitchen because for me it makes cooking fun but to subject a woman permanently there…hmmm no way.

Amyn you know you are not a normal person so I’m not suprise with how you took it P but yet again,women should know how 2 be good homemakers(cooking,cleaning,arranging,…bedmatic skills,etc) generally controlling the home zone,however she chooses to run it,is her business and if she fails in it na she and her husband get the wahala.

lmao ” cooking maidednhead” … this Amyn is mental. But still no matter how they type the english and talk many many ( side eye @nosikenwigene) ,a lot of guys are sugar coating my dear Black MAgic’s comment.

Dear okey, its a gud ting u like ur biscuits and fanta.u see women change tyres as well as Que for fuel so a man has a place in the kitchen.what u shud u derstand is we will cook 4 mr husband(not boyfwend) wit days outta d kitchen cs we nid 2 rest too.d earlier men in dis age realise we cnt do evrythg d better,we cnt be be xpected 2 be career women and be housewives too.u niggas gotta pick one and enjoy its perks.

I come from a home where not knowing how to cook is not even an option. I cook when and if I want to. Not cuz its expected of me. Yes,everyone,guys inclusive should know how to cook. But then if you can’t,it doesn’t make you less of a person.

Kachi’s first sentence applies to me too. That was a totally senseless deduction by black magic. But then as a woman, you should be able to cook. I love cooking. Cooking makes me happy infact. Even when I don’t feel like, as soon as I start, I get really into it. But it doesn’t mean that it should be seen as my primary job. There are days I don’t feel like cooking and even if I’m married, I expect my husband to say “oh you don’t want to cook? Its fine baby lets eat out.” If I was a man I would love to marry a woman that can cook and if she cant, she will have to learn. However, that been said, not knowing how to cook doesn’t make you less of a woman. Having two chefs doesn’t mean you “shouldn’t” know how to cook. And from what you said Amyn, your friend knew how to cook,she just didn’t cook. Like i said earlier,its NOT a “JOB” especially if you are my boyfriend. *Rme* But its important.

Funbi & Madam Creative, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying a woman MUST do the cooking all the time. I’m just saying, I won’t cook for myself, let alone cooking for you. Also, if as a career woman you choose not to cook, fine, Just don’t ask me if I’ve eaten or any food-related question.

@lipglossmaffia I agree with you my dear. Dnt mind that @ejayblackmagic. I think he was too strongly worded about the issue. I didn’t cook even once for my husband for the 2years we were dating prior to marriage. we dined out in fabulous places arnd d world the whole time, I didn’t heard him complain. D niggy was trying to impress his lady nah 😀 but now we are married, I cook everyday because I enjoy seeing him lick his fingers. The fact that I didn’t go out of my way to cook for a man that had not yet made me his mrs, I guess according to blackmagic, made me a failed girl. Biko if u want the milk, you have to buy the cow.