Spoof news stories from Friday 19 October 2012

A rogue member of the secret service has shed some light on the widely held belief that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are an item.
Ron 'Butch' Brown a twelve year veteran told reporters yesterday: 'Hell yeah they are'
He then gleefully recalled t...

MIAMI, OH--Replete with its multiple posters of Michael Jordan and Spud Webb, Super Nintendo, GoldStar TV and vinyl copy of Dr. Dre's The Chronic, Miami University sophomore Nick Mostey indisputably has the coolest dorm room on campus were it the yea...

Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander has reportedly suffered a mildly harassing comment on his official Facebook profile. The offending remark was in response to an article the Senator posted which warned against the dangers of the looming fiscal cliff.

GUATEMALA CITY - The tiny Central American country of Guatemala has just issued an international press release stating that after several years of research, planning, and development they now have a nuclear weapon.
A spokesperson for the Guatemala...

The times they are a changing especially amongst the female fraternity because now it seems that S & M toys are even more popular than dildos, vibrators and other ancient titilators!
The modern woman is buying whips, butt plugs, handcuffs, lea...

Tiny Irish rock knob-head Bono, 3' 4", has sensationally reformed Girls Aloud he said today, from his castle in Switzerland.
The U2 frontman has taken full responsibility for the girl bands reformation, telling reporters that he should now be offi...

Manchester has been voted England's "sexiest" city in a poll conducted by someone with way too much time on their hands. Back and to the Lefts hometown of Hull didn't even make the top twenty, which is a shame. Syphilis first cases in England were di...

As a man who is in the process of becoming a woman, I get asked quite a lot of questions. In a bid to help every M2F person out there, I'll give you the answers to all your questions in this easily digestible guide.
Whatever the question, the answer is: "Mind your own bloody business."
There, that wasn't too hard, was it?
The above sentiment is the one you really need, but some people jus...

David Cameron has suspended civil servants in the Department of Energy for misleading him about energy.
After talking to civil servants Cameron thought he was told that the Government was going to put forward legislation to force energy companies...

The leader of the BNP, Nick Griffin, has finally revealed his compassionate side by claiming a refusal to engage in sexual acts with the opposite sex is a discrimination too far, after he put the address of a gay couple who won a landmark court rulin...

The Celtics had a tradition last season of having only one person wear a specially colored sneakers. It is usually Paul Pierce or Rajon Rondo, and last season they wore a bright green sneaker.
The idea seemed limited. Perhaps it was in a rotation...

Sky Sources (Mustard & Ketchup) believe that football officials have confirmed that they will be launching an inquiry into Stuart Pearce's red card and touch-line ban.
Pearce reacted to alleged racist abuse from home fans by kicking a football...

NEVADA STATE PENETENTARY (ABSNN) - O. J. Simpson is offering to sell the knife that was used to slay his wife, Nicole, and her friend Ron Goldman, for the sum of $5 million. Guards at NSP immediately tossed his cell but found nothing other than a ba...

Led Zeppelin was first formed in 1968, 44 years ago. The band has just released their latest album which is titled Just Blimpin' Along.
The album title was thought up by Jimmy Page. Just Blimpin' Along was recorded on the Vinyl Record Recording Label at the prestigious San Andreas Fault Recording Studios located in Tarzana, California.
The band's lead singer Robert Plant, 64, said that all...

NEW YORK CITY - Jets coach Rex Ryan stated that the Jets will be without two of their running backs when they pull into Foxborough, Massachusetts to take on the New England Patriots.
He was asked by Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily a...

Freshmen U.S. Senator Marco Rubio has reportedly suffered a mildly harassing comment on his official Facebook profile. The offending remark was in response to an article the Senator posted which claimed, "Rubio slams Obama, Biden on economy."
The...

REDONDO BEACH - Britney Spears was having the Fee Fi Fo Fum Foo Foo Platter at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Diner when she noticed iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli sitting a few tables away.
The X-Factor judge, who knows that Miss Vermicelli...

A local man has threatened to respond to what he described as "the ultimate insult" by performing in a You Tube skit - impersonating his own brother. And making him look a right 'twat'.
Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome and pioneering satir...

Who's faster than a speeding bullet heading nowhere? Who's able to sink like a stone in a pond?
If you know someone like that, then Boston sports teams want your services. Boston's once glorious franchises are desperately looking for the right pe...

OSHKOSH, Wisconsin - Paul Ryan has just received some devastating political news.
It appears that his grandmother Mayshack Ophelia Woodpeckler, 93, has written him a letter telling him that she has decided that she is going to vote for President O...