If you grew up in a place where even the richest people were still middle-class, you have undoubtedly encountered a certain kind of young, drunken male who enjoyed torturing cats. Cats, regardless of their gender, always represent femininity. (And dogs, regardless of gender, always represent masculinity.) As such, the kind of male who displayed this propensity was inevitably a closeted misogynist who (perhaps unknowingly) longed to kill actual women. There is a relationship between hating cats and hating women; I can't prove this, but I know it's true.

The reason I bring this up is that my editor just gave me a copy of Cat Fights Unleashed, a DVD from the makers of similar documentaries like Ghetto Fights 3 and Bar Brawls Uncensored. Cat Fights Unleashed is a collection of (primarily African-American) women beating the shit out of each other on bootleg video. And what I found myself dwelling upon while watching this DVD is the origin of the term "cat fight" (and why it is exclusively used for describing skirmishes between females). I think I have figured out why this is. Men sometimes claim they like watching women fight for sexual reasons, but I suspect they are lying; I think certain men enjoy watching women fight for the same reason they enjoyed torturing felines as teenagers (which is why we refer to physically violent females as "cats"). These men have mentally interchanged them. So if you know someone who owns a copy of Cat Fights Unleashed and you can't figure out why, here is the explanation: He is unconsciously hoping to see footage of a woman being murdered.

Chuck Klosterman is the author of many fine books, including Chuck Klosterman IV which is available at your local bookstore or online, at BarnesAndNoble.com.