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What If Rock Stars Had Their Own Olympics?

In the Rock Star Olympics, celebrity smack addicts would have to escape Betty Ford, evade drug-sniffing police dogs and run through back-alley water hazards in pursuit of a syringe filled with Mr. Brownstone.

Kansas City leaders may have shuttered the brothels and torn down the stockyards that once defined the town--and the mobsters may have blown themselves up in disco bombings back in the '70s--but there are still plenty of stories to tell...

Bart Starrchild: "This is your token Caucasian announcer broadcasting live from the Funky Ghetto Mall. I'm here for the premiere of the Ghetto Science Team’s Community Christmas Parade titled 'A Missing Toe Christmas,' brought you by the Ghetto Science Team Television Network."

More by The Pitch

As an artist known for making impressively scaled signs and combining hip-hop symbols with references to Christianity — Google him and his brilliant Prayer Booths still come up first — Dylan Mortimer has always made personal art. But his latest exhibition transcends the personal for something revelatory...

Chris is a private investigator with Northland Attorneys LLC. Clients frequently hire him to tail their partners, whom they suspect of cheating. We've changed his name so he can remain covert as he follows Kansas City's skulking spouses.

Hallmark Cards broke ground on this "city within a city" on September 16, 1968. Company founder Joyce C. Hall had spent the previous decade meeting with architects, industrial designers and real-estate men. Walt Disney, a friend, had even contributed a few ideas. Hall envisioned Crown Center as a sort of monument to corporate benevolence.

Most of the attendees are male, large, and loyal to either the 12-inch original toys or the 3-3/4-inch figurines based on the cartoon characters. A slight edge goes to the cartoon fans, who tend to be younger and single, with more disposable income.