GIVE

July 27, 2011

We are continuing our celebration of responsible this month, and I am honored to share with you some thoughts from Leigh Kramer on what it means to be responsible to your calling, even if that calling changes as time passes:

A person's calling might change over time.

When I worked as a hospice social worker, I was convinced it was what I was meant to do. Whenmy great-aunt and, subsequently, my grandmother required my organization's services, I took theunfortunate events as affirmation. My family grew to understand my work in a more intimate way. Iwas honored to shepherd them through that time, though not without personal cost.

Still, when my then-coworkers anxiously worried I would quit as a result of my mourning, I reassuredthem that this is where I was meant to be. I had no intention of quitting and was surprised by theirconcerns.

My family soldiered through back-to-back losses and life continued on. A year or so later, I wonderedif they were right. I was no longer sure that hospice was my calling. Perhaps I had been there “for sucha time as this.”

Meanwhile I pictured the rest of my life continuing on just as it was. I didn't like what I saw.

I had a choice. Take action or let life meander by.

It wasn't like I had a bad life. I didn't hate my job. I was surrounded by friends and family. Churchwas good. The White Sox weren't back to the 2005 World Series Champion glory days but they weredoing all right. Everything was fine. Yet I didn't feel fine.

Several years ago a boy, in the midst of pursuing me, told me that God was going to do great thingsthrough my life. This bold statement was not part of his wooing process- and the relationship wasultimately doomed- but it stuck with me. I've wondered in the intervening years how God would useme, whether this moment was it or something greater than I could ever ask or imagine still lies ahead.

His words might have tucked away in a corner of my mind but a few years ago, a woman I met at aconference said the same thing. I knew my calling was metamorphosing by that time. But I didn't knowwhat would come next.

How could God use me? What else might I do? Were my lifelong dreams and wishes a part of thatequation?

While I pray over my decisions, I believe that a time comes when we must use the minds God gaveus and make a choice. I was no longer content to live in this “in between” space. Working butfeeling unfulfilled. Longing for dreams that might not ever be realized. Surrounded by good thingsbut realizing it wasn't enough. And at the heart of all that, recognizing that I did not live in enoughdependence on God.

I free-fell last spring. That's not entirely accurate. Perhaps I've been free-falling this whole year. If Ihadn't dared to move to Nashville last year, I likely would not dare what I do now.

In the background since childhood has been my little hope of being an author some day. A personwho writes stories that people love to read. In the years that I've been blogging, but especially the lastcouple of years, I've found myself filled with stories again. Characters that won't leave me alone, thatbeg me to write.

And so I have been. But writing in stolen moments when I wasn't exhausted from work is no longerenough. While my choice would not be everyone's, I'm grateful I'm in a position to quit my day joband run hard after this dream of mine.

In the month leading up to my last day of work and in the few weeks that have followed, affirmationafter affirmation has followed.

I can't say that social work is no longer my calling for good. Right now it's enough that my calling is towrite and to see where it takes me.

This season also opens my life to be available for others in a way that I wasn't before. Maybe anotheropportunity lurks around the corner. Maybe not.

For now, I take this dream one step at a time. All that is required of me is to write. Whether you seemy name in print one day will not be confirmation of my calling.

My calling is confirmed with each word I put on the page.

In May 2010, Leigh Kramer intentionally uprooted her life in the Chicago suburbs by moving to Nashville in an effort to live more dependently on God. She writes about life in the South, what God has been teaching her, and her ongoing quest for the perfect fried pickle. You can follow her adventures on Twitter and her blog HopefulLeigh.

Although I've always flirted with do-gooder type ways, it wasn't until I read Jonathan Merritt's Green Like God that I made the connection between Save The Earth and Save The People Of Earth. He makes the statement that "we often fail to connect consumerism to creation's woes, but when you find one, the other is not far away" (129). Throughout the book, he shows how irresponsible views and treatments of our planet inevitably affect people, too. People who, like you and me, are image bearers of the Creator.

After I read Green Like God, I wanted to discover more about what it meant to live out socially-just living in the context of family. And yes, Julie is right. Once your eyes are opened to the effect our purchases have on the people who made those purchases possible - yeah, some freak-out and panic is going to happen. There is just so much! And I am just one person!

July 20, 2011

It doesn't happen often, but every now and again my brain fights hard against my body and refuses to go to sleep on time. The 5 o'clock wake-up call is cruel when you were still tossing and turning at 1:30 AM. That was me yesterday, stumbling through the day on just a few hours of sleep, walking through molasses to get through the day.

The upside of the no-more-naps season of parenting is that everyone sleeps at night pretty wonderfully now. Sure, sometimes one of the girls will appear at my bedside, shaken from sleep by a bad dream and needing a gentle tucking-in redux, but mostly we enjoy uninterrupted snoozing hours.

Yesterday's walk through a not enough sleep haze brought a tangible reminder of those groggy new baby days.

A few weeks ago on Twitter, someone I follow was recounting the story of visiting friends who had just brought home a newborn. This mama told of how upset she was to try to sit and visit with her friends as they allowed their five day old infant to cry it out to go to sleep.