San Bernardino, the absolute cuisine capital of planet Earth, the birthplace of the largest restaurant of all time and currently home to many of Southern California’s finest restaurants, has been ranked by the real estate website movoto.com as the No. 1 worst restaurant city in America.

Oh, dear. Somebody at movoto.com needs a little hand holding. Somebody at movoto.com needs to get their mouth out here right away for a proper restaurant meal.

In fact, I’ll buy. The check is on me!

You want Italian? We’ll go to Tony’s on Highland Avenue, which has been serving up the best pizza around since 1948, or Two Guys, also on Highland Avenue, or Alfredo’s on Base Line. If we can get in. That place is always crowded.

Word of mouth. Dude.

Mexican? Again, we’re the best. I’ll take the movoto person to the Mexico Restaurant on Highland Avenue, or Lucy’s on Sierra Way, or Mitla Cafe on Mt. Vernon Avenue, one of the oldest restaurants in the Southland, serving up family-style Mexican food since 1937.

French? Nobody does it better than Le Rendezvous, at the top of Sierra Way. I swear, the food is so good, you come out of there speaking with a French accent!

Thai? Goodness, we have the best. Shall we go to Thai Place on Kendall Avenue, or Jack Pot on Waterman Avenue?

Or? Or?

There are too many to remember. Readers, let me know your favorite restaurants, of all kinds, and I’ll write a another column on this subject.

A taste of India? Head straight to India’s Clay Oven on Hospitality Lane.

Oh, yeah, Hospitality Lane. That’s a whole long street crowded with good restaurants.

You like diner food? So do I. And in San Bernardino we don’t have to settle for chains. We have Hannah’s and Pepper Steak, both on Highland Avenue, and Alice’s just off the 215 Freeway near Inland Center.

Sunday brunch? I’m going to take the movoto people to the Castaway on Little Mountain and watch them eat their words — not to mention the best Sunday brunch cuisine this side of the beach cities. At half the price!

Frankly, San Bernardino could coast forever, cuisine-wise, on the fact that it is ground zero for the American fast-food revolution. McDonald’s and every other similar venue of importance either started here or drew inspiration here.

Richard and Maurice (Mac) McDonald, opened the world’s first McDonald’s restaurant in 1940 on the southwest corner of 14th and D streets. San Bernardino High School classmates Glen Bell and Neal Baker, motivated by the McDonald brothers, founded fast-food empires of their own. Bell created the Taco Tia, Taco Bell and Der Wienerschnitzel chains. Baker established the Baker’s chain.

Founders of other fast-food chains such as KFC, Wendy’s and Carl’s Jr. received tutelage from the McDonald brothers.

More recently, Albert Okura has become the city’s new fast-food king with his growing empire of Juan Pollo restaurants. He also is founder of the Original McDonald’s Museum, located on the site of the historic first McDonald’s restaurant.

Memo to movoto: More Earthlings eat San Bernardino cuisine, every day, than any other restaurant cuisine on Earth.