Are you equipped to descale a turbot?

Exactly. Get tooled up here

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Cash'n'Carrion It's unlikely that you'll ever be called upon to degut and scale a turbot in the server room, but it's always better to be prepared. And what if you were called upon to signal for an emergency airlift from your PC? Do you have a signal mirror and international distress signal guide? Exactly.

To prepare yourself for these and other eventualities, we suggest that you have a look at the Victorinox Survival Kit, part of a newly-expanded range of Swiss-Army style kit down at Cash'n'Carrion.

This little beauty is packed with more stuff than you can shake a cleft stick at - and certainly more than we can list here. To summarise, you get a 29-function red-handled Swiss Champ knife. Also includes sharpening stone, strike anywhere matches, signal mirror, nylon string, mechanical pencil and paper, bandages, needles and thread, safety pins, comb, Solitaire Maglite flashlight, fishing kit, distress whistle, compass/ruler/magnifying glass/thermometer and double black leather pouch that can fit on your belt. Phew.

All of this can be yours for £56.16 (£65.99 inc VAT), which is small price to pay for a state of instant survival readiness.

If, however, you're looking for something useful which you can slip into your wallet, then check out the Victorinox Swiss Card at a modest £10.20 (£11.99 inc VAT). This jelly green or jelly onyx slimline accessory packs letter opener/blade, scissors, pin, nail file/screwdriver, toothpick, ball pen and ruler, into a case just 82mm x 54mm x 5mm. There's also a Swiss Card Lite version - which includes integrated light diode - for £13.61 (£15.99 inc VAT).

All of the above are available right now at Cash'n'Carrion. Remember - your life may one day depend on having the right tool to tackle a turbot. ®