SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION.

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Wed 18 Feb 2009, 4:19 pm

Happy Thoughts of the day....

I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.

Funny.. I don't remember being absent minded.

If all is not lost.. where is it?

It is easier to get older than wiser.

The first rule of holes.. If you are in one.. stop digging.

It was all so different before everything changed.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

Living on Earth is expensive..but it does include a free trip round the sun...

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Wed 18 Feb 2009, 4:46 pm

When you are older.....

No one expects you to run into a burning building......People call at 9 PM and ask.. "Did I wake you?".....There is nothing left to learn the hard way......Things you buy now won't wear out......You can live without sex but not without glasses......You enjoy hearing about other peoples operation.....You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it......You sing along with elevator music......Your friend's secrets are safe because you can't remember them. .....Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Lady of Winter {KAN}Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert

Today's Notable Quote(s): If I would have known that I was going to live so long, I would have taken much better care of myself. - Mickey Mantle

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Thu 19 Feb 2009, 4:43 pm

UNIVERSITIES are holding open days for school students At Strathclyde University.

An honours history undergraduate was chatting to pupils interested in studying the subject.

To see what fields might interest them.. he announced..

"Ask me a question about history that you've always wondered about."

Those who have concerns about the education of school pupils.. and who fear that they simply look up stuff on Wikipedia rather than actually learn anything.. will be as saddened and shocked as the undergraduate was when a Glasgow schoolgirl piped up..

"What was Hitler's last name?"

.............................

GOOGLE is to launch a controversial new service that lets people see the exact location of their friends and family by tracking their mobile phone.

Once a user has downloaded Google Latitude.. to their mobile device they can choose whether or not they want friends to be able to locate them..using GPS and other location services.

The technology..unveiled yesterday by the Internet giants... Is a massive threat to personal privacy.

Latitude... could be a gift to stalkers.. prying employers.. jealous partners and obsessivefriends.

The dangers to a users privacy and security are as limitless as the imagination of those who would abuse this technology

Lady of Winter {KAN}Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert

The dangers to a users privacy and security are as limitless as the imagination of those who would abuse this technology

No doubt a tool that would come in handy for MyLF while he's stalking his next victim!

dam it winter,i am taking notes.so far im a cross dressing wood sprite that likes to take my clothes off and run across the pitch at big sporting occasions,and an obsessive voyeur who likes to stalk women.shit!!!..did you know me in the 80s?

Lady of Winter {KAN}Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert

The dangers to a users privacy and security are as limitless as the imagination of those who would abuse this technology

No doubt a tool that would come in handy for MyLF while he's stalking his next victim!

dam it winter,i am taking notes.so far im a cross dressing wood sprite that likes to take my clothes off and run across the pitch at big sporting occasions,and an obsessive voyeur who likes to stalk women.shit!!!..did you know me in the 80s?

MyLF,I laughed so hard reading this!! You just made my day!

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Fri 20 Feb 2009, 2:00 pm

An ex.. police officer has been jailed after being caught with one of the worst child porn collections ever recovered in the UK.

He was given an extended three-year sentence after a sheriff viewed the images and videos he had stored on his computer.

He was sacked as a police officer after he was convicted of exposing himself to a young girl.

He was jailed for one year and had a two-year extended sentence added after the court viewed a sample of the material

The screams of abused children echoed around the court as scenes of torture..rape and animal abuse on youngsters as young as three were played.

People who engage in child pornography..provide the market for an evil trade and I'm sure you will agree they should be given far stiffer sentencesthan are presently given.

Lady of Winter {KAN}Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert

Skinman,Regarding the police officer that was arrested - there is not enough battery acid in the world to torture a scumbag like him. When I hear stories like these, it makes my blood boil. Heaven help the person who ever goes on trial for something like this, and I am on the jury!

LoW

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Sat 21 Feb 2009, 7:40 pm

A lorry loaded with thousandsof copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed as it left a publishing house.

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Sun 22 Feb 2009, 10:39 pm

A CAMPAIGN has been launched urging the Duke of Sutherland to donate the proceeds from the sale of Titians Diana And Actaeon to families affected by the Highland clearances

During the clearances.. overseen by Egertons ancestor the first Duke of Sutherland..more than 3000 families were burnt out or evicted from their homes.

The episode is still regarded as one of the most shameful in Scottish history.

the duke.. who owns 28 renaissance masterpieces which have hung in the National Gallery of Scotland in Edinburgh for 60 years.. announced he was selling Italian master Titians Diana And Actaeon to rebalance his familys assets.

The National Galleries of Scotland and the National Gallery in London announced earlier this month that they had raised enough funds to meet the 69-year-old father-oftwos Ģ50 million asking price.

the Scottish Government has pledged Ģ12.5 million of public money towards it.

It is extraordinary that he is being paid Ģ50 million after holding the nation to ransom.

The duke owes his position of wealth and privilege to the bloodthirsty antics of his ancestor.

He is already one of the richest men in the country and should give the proceeds from the sale back to the nation.

I think It's a disgrace.

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Wed 25 Feb 2009, 6:55 am

If you have a lively three-year-old child in the house right now.. pity the scientists at Manchester University.

A robot which can crawl and move and learn just like a toddler was unveiled at the university this week.

It can already play the drums.. crawl on all fours and sit up.

Now the hope is that it will be able to learn more and more about its own bodily skills.. and how to communicate and interact with the world.

Perhaps one day it might even be able to throw its toys from the pram. Or even better ...keep you on the edgeof sanity with its wants.

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Thu 26 Feb 2009, 12:18 pm

A survey by a recruitment company of the worst things said at a job interview by aspiring employees includes in its top 10...Asking..

"Do you mind if we do this outside so that I can have a fag?"

Mentioning that your CV would have been stronger..

but you didn't feel like making anything else up.

Qualifying your greatest achievement with...

"Of course I was totally hammered at the time."----------------------------------A local government committee has produced a report calling on government ministers to use "clear.. jargon-free language" in order to improve public understanding.

Brilliant!.

They spoiled it all by adding

"The committee recommends that the Scottish Government should publish.. in future.. an assessment matrix of candidate national developments against the national development criteria.--------------------------------A guy was asked by his girlfriend to name all the females he'd slept with...

his mistake was not stopping when he got to hers.

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Sun 01 Mar 2009, 6:30 am

I read with Interest yesterdaythat a GOVERNMENT adviser exposed as a cross-dressing male hooker has left his job.

The Childcare expert was due to face disciplinary action from his bosses at Glasgow University.

His sordid double life Included dressing in a denim mini.. purple stockings and wearing red lipstick.

He advertised his seedy services on an adult website and described himself as

"dirty by name..dirty by nature".

He worked as a research fellow in the university's Public Health and Health Policy Department and was based in the Faculty of Medicine.

There seems to be moreand more of this typebeing highlighted in themedia lately.....

All I can say is....

Who are these people?.

Lady of Winter {KAN}Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert

Let me for a moment share with you all my thoughts on HACKERS. Twice we've been attacked and it makes me wonder, what type of person would take precious time out of their life, to do something so idiotic. So I have come up with a psychological profile of our hacker.

1.) Dateless 20-30 year old, pimple-faced geek.2.) Lacks gainful employment3.) Lives in his mother's basement4.) Watches Happy Days reruns and knows Potsy's lines verbatim.5.) Once took his cousin on a date because his sister was unavailable. 6.) Has no life to speak up. Is aggressive on the internet, but cowers in real life when approached.7.) Is not dangerous, just about as annoying as snow on a television screen.

If you spot this loser, approach with laughter. There is no danger there.

Let me for a moment share with you all my thoughts on HACKERS. Twice we've been attacked and it makes me wonder, what type of person would take precious time out of their life, to do something so idiotic. So I have come up with a psychological profile of our hacker.

1.) Dateless 20-30 year old, pimple-faced geek.2.) Lacks gainful employment3.) Lives in his mother's basement4.) Watches Happy Days reruns and knows Potsy's lines verbatim.5.) Once took his cousin on a date because his sister was unavailable. 6.) Has no life to speak up. Is aggressive on the internet, but cowers in real life when approached.7.) Is not dangerous, just about as annoying as snow on a television screen.

If you spot this loser, approach with laughter. There is no danger there.

you tell em lady,however i like happy days and come to think of it ive taken my cousin for a date as welll... shit!!!...no hang on i havnt got a sister..pwew

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Fri 13 Mar 2009, 3:33 pm

All the organs of the body were having a meeting..

trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge".. said the brain..

"because I run all the body's systems.. so without me nothing would happen".

"I should be in charge"... said the blood..

"because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away".

"I should be in charge".. said the stomach"..

because I process food and give all of you energy".

"I should be in charge".. said the legs..

"because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge".. said the eyes..

"because I allow the body to see where it goes".

"I should be in charge".. said the rectum..

"Because I'm responsible for waste removal"..

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him.. so in a huff.. he shut down tight.

Within a few days.. the brain had a terrible headache..

the stomach was bloated..

the legs got wobbly..

the eyes got watery..

and the blood was toxic.

They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of this story?...

The one in charge is usually an asshole!!.

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Fri 13 Mar 2009, 4:11 pm

Is spelling Important.....

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy..

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are..

the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn

mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef.. but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?...

and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Sat 14 Mar 2009, 4:19 pm

A Mata Hari gang which has been robbing elderly men after luring them with the promise of sexual favours is being hunted by detectives.

The gang of women have been preying on men in pubs before going home with them and stealing cash and goods.

The women.. believed to be in their 20s and 30s.. have been befriending vulnerable men.. mainly pensioners.. who have been out drinking in pubs in the city centre.....

must remember to go back to their place............A Scots pessimist is a man who feels badly when he feels good for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better.

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Mon 16 Mar 2009, 8:38 am

When was the last time a person held a door open for you?...

When was the last time you were given a seat on the bus?...

Please and thank you seem to be words of the past.

people out there do not seem to have the time to practice basic manners....

Alas I think this is dying with our generation...

Is this the last to have manners?...

Manners are not dead but the are certainly in decline...

Our Culture is evolving and whilst there are some well mannered souls still out there they are vastly outnumbered by the (me first) culture.

Oh..well that's the wayof things I suppose...

And if you don't likewhat I've just said..you can lump It..O'k..

Lady of Winter {KAN}Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert

I agree Skinman, that manners have gone out the window. Even at a restaurant, the servers act as if they are doing you a favor and never say, "Thank you" or "Have a nice day." I mean, how hard is that?

What a simple thing to do and perhaps make someone's day. We are a rude society. And do not get me started on the lack of manners and total disrespect for elders! If I ever spoke to an elder the way I hear some kids speaking today, my mother or father would make me eat my teeth! Especially my mother (who by the way could turn a slipper into a boomerang! and knock out all 4 girls with one throw).

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Fri 20 Mar 2009, 5:15 pm

A good living christian received a letter from his local church suggesting that members be more generous in their donations.

He thought they could have put it better when he read..

"We must ask our members for additional contributions.. so up yours."............... two sheriffs who realised they both faced court appearances for speeding..

so they arranged to appear before each other.

The first sheriff pled guilty and was admonished by his peer.

However.. when the second sheriff pled guilty..

he was fined Ģ120 and had three points added to his licence.

"But you were admonished".. said the angry sheriff.

"I know".. said his colleague..

"but this was the second case of excessive speeding heard today..

and I am determined to stamp it out".......................Government ministers are planning to record details of all our e-mails.. phone calls.. and the websites we visit..

The proposal.. also to record all data associated with social networking applications (such as Facebook.. Myspace.. and Bebo) in the proposed central database.

The government wants a permanent record of all our random chatter and the messages we exchange with friends and family.

Ministers seem hell-bent on putting an end to free social interaction.

You are being Watchedby big brother....

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Sun 22 Mar 2009, 9:14 am

I read with a heavy heart to-day about The plight of the parents of a seriously ill baby.

Doctors will stop treating their son today after they lost their final bid to overturn a ruling giving hospital staff the power to allow him to die.

Two Court of Appeal judges refused them permission to challenge a ruling which gave the hospital treating the nine-month-old boy.. the right to stop medical treatment keeping him alive.

The parents said they understood that their baby's treatment would now be withdrawn today and said..

"We plan to enjoy what little time we have left with our son".

The little boy has a rare metabolic disorder and has suffered brain damage and major respiratory failure.

His parents said...

only one other child with their son's condition had been identified by modern medicine and added.."We are all in unknown territory".......

What a horrible predicament..... for all concerned.

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Subject: Re: SKINMAN'S SPEAK UP! SECTION. Tue 24 Mar 2009, 6:52 am

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the prof. picked up his chair.. plopped it on his desk.. and wrote on the board..

"Using everything we have learned this term.. prove that this chair does not exist".