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Streaker High on PCP Begs Cops to Tase Him, Cops Oblige

Pop quiz: When buck naked and high on PCP and confronting cops pointing Tasers at you, do you A) comply with their commands, no matter how incomprehensible their wolfish orders sound to your hypersensitive ears, or B) RUN? Trick question: Instead, follow the amazing example set by a man wearing only sneakers in Newburgh last night. What you want to do is advance on the cops until they fire at will, thereby amplifying your PCP high with 50,000 heart-pounding volts of pure electricity. Then repeat as needed until you get that "click."

Police say they came upon an unidentified naked man running in the middle of the street around 11:30 last night. They pulled him over and ordered him to lie down, but the man refused. And when he saw one of the officers unholster his Taser, the streaker allegedly shouted, "Give it to me.'' So they did, but you know how it is with addicts; always needing more. He reportedly jumped back up after the first Tasing and charged toward them, yanking the Taser darts from his abdomen like a superpower mutant (or a guy on PCP).

According to the cops, it took four Taser "deployments" before they could subdue the guy, who reportedly had wounds to his forehead and right shoulder prior to the arrest. He was taken to St. Luke’s Cornwall hospital for treatment, where it was determined that he was high on PCP and Tasers.