Found this on the Star Wars Galaxies Forum. I take absolutely no credit for this whatsoever. I just thought it was funny, and wanted to share it with you guys.

The original ending to "The Empire Strikes Back.'
A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old...

Luke: No...

Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up...

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine...

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!

This key is to your kingdom, this key is to your heart...
Neither one a doorway, but both of them a part...

my alternate ending (the part where they are all on the ship in the end, when lando leaves with the falcon)......:

The ship keeps going as the millenium falcon coasts off of the docking bay. all of a sudden lando screams "you filthy pieces of crap! DIE DIE DIE!" and fires all of his missiles into the docking bay, hitting all the other ships and the combined explosion destroyed part of the ship. As it began to drift, Darth Vader and his star destroyer appear out of hyperspace and he says "thank you calrissian for the coordinates....we will take it from here. but you wont be around long enough to see our victory!" with that, his tie fighter targets the falcons ****pit and shoots several laser blasts through the one weak spot in the falcons defenses, destroying the ****pit and blowing up the ship, killing Calrissian. Then, with the combined force of the star destroyer's missiles and turbolasers, and all the firepower of the ties, they destroyed the frigate, killing Luke, Leia, and all other personnel. the star destroyer jumped into hyperspace, leaving the space dust of the frigate floating in the void.....

Lol.....im sorry, i had to kill off all of them.....they get way too lucky all the time, and i wanted to show what it would be like if they werent so lucky all the time...