Stop thinking of your memory as an accurate readout of what happened in the conflict – using memory this way is a sure way to get you more stuck (see my articles here and here and here for reasons why). Short of a recording of the conflict conversation you remember, the “truth” and “what really happened” are unknowable – your truth is the narrative your mind created from the experience.

Instead, use your memories of the conflict to create a different future. That’s where the power is. That’s where the relief is.