Monday, November 26, 2007

Marc Dann Extends a Helping Hand to Those Who Use a Helping Hand

Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann certainly had something to be thankful for this year on Turkey Day – his ability to recover from repeated embarrassments. Last week, Dann shocked and offended Christians everywhere -- or at least ones with political ambitions -- after a newspaper reporter uncovered an internal e-mail he sent comparing a negative editorial to the pain suffered by Christ during the crucifixion.
Yet while the savior will probably forgive Dann for that slight indiscretion, JC might have a hard time looking past the most recent press release Dann sent out, encouraging people to, as Carl Monday would say, reach out and have sex with themselves. And on Jesus’ birthday, no less.
The Youngstown Vindicator reported Sunday that Dann recently issued a press release filled with tips for holiday shoppers. Included in the release was the number for a supposed consumer help center. But the number was to a phone-sex line, where you can pay 69 cents a minute to speak with desperate housewives, horny college coeds and, for an extra fee, the US Senator of your choice. One of Dann’s staffers had accidentally entered one digit incorrectly. Whoops! Sources say the mistake was discovered when a 48-year-old mother of four called the line to ask for instructions on which stuffing would best moisten her bird. -- Jared Klaus