Monday, February 14, 2011

Supernatural Shakedown: Season 6 Episode 13 OR The Itsy Bitchy Spider

Episode #13: Unforgiven.Previously on Supernatural...Death gave Sam his soul back with implicit instructions NOT to scratch at the wall. Now Sam is his old nerdy, research-y, empathetic, fine ass self again! Hooray! Sam and Dean are back to the brotherly bicker/banter they are so famously known for. And it's AWESOME! But Bobby is concerned that Sammy might revert back to his RoboSam ways. Or worse.

Now...A town in Rhode Island. One year ago.Sam is shooting. Four people? Demons? Sam is shooting four of something. And Gramps is with him. Oh no. Sam's arm gets hurt. He's bleeding. Gramps and Sam hit the road. Uh oh. It's the fuzz! Sam and Gramps get pulled over. The deputy calls them agents. What the what!? And now he wants to arrest them! But Sam just chuckles in his face. Then he starts beating the ever-lovin' crap outta the deputy! Gramps and Sam get back in the car and drive away.Glass shattering. Supernatural logo. Showtime!Present day.Sam and Dean are in yet another motel. Sam is watching TV trying to "catch up" on everything that he's missed in the last year. A Mel Gibson joke is made!Now the boys are getting a text. But from who? It's coordinates to somewhere. Sam researches it. Sexily. And, what do ya know, it's the town in Rhode Island where Sam beat up the deputy. They decide to investigate this town.It's Impala time! Sam has a flashback after seeing a sign for a restaurantNow the boys are at said restaurant. Dean heads to the "Poop Deck."While he's gone, some lady and her husband come up to Sam and call him be his agents name. Dean heads outta the bathroom and is looking at pics on the wall. He looks at one pic with interest. A picture of Sam, no doubt. Dean returns to the table with the pic.Sam is having a dirty boy flashback in which he's totally doing it with that lady that stopped by the table in the bathroom of the restaurant.! Sam tells Dean that he thinks he's been here before. Dean shows him the picture and we discover, yeah, Sam has been here before.Now we're back at the motel. Sam is in researchers mode. He finds out that five guys went mysteriously missing last year and now five woman are missing. Connection? i think so. Dean wants to hit the skids because Sam has been here before and they don't know if he left any messes. Never hunt in the same place twice. But Sam wants to stay. What if he didn't kill whatever it was kidnapping people last year? The boys try to out John-Winchester-wisdom each other.Dean finally agrees to stay and work the case. So Dean heads to the latest missing girls apartment and talks to her roommate. He finds a card with Sam's agent alias on it. Turns out one of the missing guys from last year lived in the building too.Dean asks the roommate to describe the relationship between Sam and the missing girl. She says it was loud. And athletic. Whatever that means. Sam is walking across the street. He's spotted by the deputy that he whaled on last year. This will not end well. Yep. Now the deputy is cuffing him. And Sam's in jail. He tells the deputy that he doesn't remember anything and the deputy says good luck selling that to a judge. The deputy is a huge tool.It's nighttime in Sam's jail cell. Some woman comes in. She calls Sam by his actual name. Damn Sam. What kinda trouble did you get yourself in last year?Sam has another flashback. He's in this woman's living room with her and her husband. Her husband was the town sheriff. Sam is talking to them about hunting. Wha?Back to present day. The lady is mad at Sam. Her husband vanishes and then Sam vanishes shortly after and she wants to know if "that thing" killed him. What's "that thing?" Sam tells her that he doesn't remember anything about "that thing" or what happened to her husband. She says what is this Days of our Lives, what with the sudden amnesia and all. But it's funny because Dean played on Days of our Lives back in the day. :)But she finally believes that Sam is telling the truth about not being able to remember anything. (P.S. her name in Brenna.)Sam tells her that he needs to get out of jail in order to find out what happened to her husband. So Brenna lets him out.Now we're at the cougar lady from the bar's house. She's drinking boxed wine. Her husband comes in and looks peeved but doesn't say anything to her. Uh oh her boxed wine is tapped out. (Hello!, just do as Kathy Griffin's mom would suggest- Tip it!) Cougar lady goes down to the basement for more wine. A creepy hand grabs her leg and trips her. She screams as it moves in closer.First commercial time.

Sam is doing research at the table. Sexily. There's a noise. Sammy draws his gun. It's just Dean.He's found out that Sam has been a giant man slut.Dean is going to cougar lady's house. He tells Sam to stay put. But Sam leaves.Dean is at the cougars house. He finds out that banging Sam is the common link between the missing woman.Sam is at Brenna's house. He wants a file and thinks that she might have it. He has another flashback. Sam and Gramps are sitting in this very living room talking to Brenna and the sheriff about hunting and family.Back to present day. Brenna is back with an evidence box. Sam goes through it and finds missing persons fliers. Sam has more flashbacks. We're back to the seafood restaurant. Gramps is holding some kind of spiderwebby material. It's from our monster. They can't find this monster so they make a plan to lure the monster to them. Back to present day again. Sam asks if he can borrow the box for a couple of hours. Sam leaves Brenna's house. There's some kind of webby stuff everywhere. Multi-eyed camera shot. i think we're dealing with some kind of spider. Dean appears on the porch. Sam almost shoots him again. Dean tells him that he told him not to leave. They go back to the motel. Multi-eyed camera shot again.Commercial.

And we're back at the motel. Looks like we're dealing with an arachine. Whatever the hell an arachine is.Sam tells Dean that he's starting to remember things. Dean is worried.Sam wants to set things right because he's all soulful now. He wants Dean to back him up. Dean agrees. Sam and Dean try to piece together the clues from last year. Flashback. Sam and Gramps are discussing their plan to lure the monster out of hiding. They need a 30-something man to use as bait. Gramps is too old and Sam is too young. But Sheriff Roy is just right. So the sheriff agrees to help. The arachine is just some chick. And she's got Roy! But Sam GPSed his ass so they know where the arachine is taking him. Sam is being very cold-hearted about Roy's well being and Gramps doesn't like it. We tracked down the arachine's lair. There are a bunch of dudes in webs. We find Roy. Sam cuts him out of the web. Uh oh. There's the spider lady. She pushes Sam and he gets hurt. Gramps shoots at her but that doesn't do any good. Sam chops her head off with a big ass knife. Now she's dead. Gramps wants to take Roy to the hospital but Sam says that all the men are as good as dead. So Sam shoots all of them. Those were the four shoots we heard at the beginning of the ep. They can't just leave the bodies so Sam says to get the gasoline. Present day and Sam realizes everything that happened. And that he's responsible for Roy's death. Now we're at Brenna's house. She's asleep and wakes up. There's Roy and boy is he yucky looking. Sam calls Brenna to tell her that she is in trouble. Sam and Dean arrive at Brenna's house. The light in the shed is on. In the shed, Brenna is cowering in a corner. She asks Sam if what he did to Roy is true.Roy grabs Dean's shoulder and tosses his ass. Now he's got Sam. He wants Sam to answer Brenna's question. Commercial time again.

Roy's got the boys all webbed up.He tells them that the arachine didn't come to town to feed she came to breed. So that's why the bullet and the fire didn't kill him. The arachine had already turned him. Roy tells Sam that he was the one that texted them. That he went after all those women that Sam sexed up to try to lure Sam back to town. While Roy has been addressing Sam, Dean has been sawing through the web with a piece of glass. Dean finally breaks out and attacks Roy. They scuffle.Brenna helps de-web Sam. Sam full on lobes Roy's head off! More commercials. Including a Vampire Diaries promo. i love that their new taglines are Got Wood? and Catch VD! It's so disturbing yet so awesome!

Sam is apologizing to Brenna. She goes into her house and slams the door in his face. Not cool, Brenna. Sam gets all kicked puppy-eyed. Sam and Dean are back at the motel having a talk about the previous year. Dean is trying to be uplifting for Sam. Then Sam goes all seizure-y. Close up on Sam's eye. In his eye there's a hot as hell Sam. Literally. He's in hell. In his head. WHA?!?!

Next time on Supernatural...We remake Mannequin and Christine. Look that shizz up, kids.