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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Passive-Aggressive Rabbit Hole

I'd like to write a book called THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE RABBIT HOLE AND OTHER THINGS TO TRY TO AVOID FALLING DOWN INTO ...

I would like to tell you that there are certain passive aggressive genius conversational manhandling chilly types ... I cannot name names, but seriously we all know the passive aggressive geniuses who can lead an otherwise wide-eyed type (the kind who, like me, was raised in a loud house where people said what they meant, more or less, and fussed loudly, fumed, flipped each other the bird, and then said, "Okay, talk to you tomorrow," gave a hug and called it Thanksgiving) and oh, how easily these wide-eyed types can be led down what seems to be lovely little conversational rabbit hole.

A person like me might be thinking, "What nice chit chat!" and "Why isn't my family more like this>" and "Isn't this civilized when people can eat without throwing silverware!" BUT THEN ...

You start to hear a whine -- distant -- and it gets louder. And you're in this rabbit hole of a conversation thinking -- my, is this a winding rabbit hole or what? You might think, "Wait, where is this rabbit hole leading?"

And the whine gets louder. It turns into a high-pitched zinging, whirring, churning sound ...

And you remember this sound -- from a sawmill in your childhood ...

And you realize that at the end of this otherwise lovely -- albeit winding -- rabbit hole conversation ... there is JUST SUCH A SAW. A loud whirring, gnashing sawmill saw.

And your bunny tail is headed for it.

It is a moment like this when my life flashes before my eyes ... and I think back fondly on my own family ... how we threw our dinner rolls and forks to show our disapproval, how we poured our drinks over each other's heads to punctuate our disagreements, the times we flipped each other the bird. Oh, the clarity! Oh, the sincerity!