Wednesday, 30 May 2012

There are decisions to made at my age, or maybe a realisation of what you have when comparing it to what you've had.

19,
now that was love, crazy all consuming, passionate, and nobody else understood.

In
years gone by, there’s been, she’s leaving the country, I love her (if she
hadn’t been leaving would I have felt that way), then there’s we argue all the
time, but that’s the passion (meaning we had great sex).

Then
there was, I write poetry about her, but really it was about me, and some dodgy
Cure lyrics.

There
was we get drunk together, and live life, and make this city our playground,
but looking back it was some drunk and not great sex, but some great hangovers,
that turned into orange and vodka, with spliff breakfasts.

There
was stare into each others eyes in busy night clubs, with tales of how much we
loved each other, for hours on end, once we’d stopped dancing, but that was
just drug love, and a jar of Vicks.

There
was the best mate, who ended up in my bed, and whom I dearly loved, but the
timing was always wrong, but that could have been forever.

Then
there was Euro girl, and finally the jackpot, culture, new language, new
cookery (no kebabs), travel, sun, proposals in Central Park, a ring, then fiery
arguments (in truth they were there all the time) and heartbreak, almost the
script of every sub titled film I’ve ever seen, OK not German ones.

Then
there was shy girl, beautiful and trusting. Taking to me and my lifestyle,
embracing the madness and passion that is me, whilst giving me stability, and
sanity, truly the saving of me.

But
is it all too little to late? Is the love I felt at 19 the best there is ever
gonna be, or is now with the wonderful person I’m with the real love. In truth
I don’t know, and it hurts me to try and categorise or prioritise it.

About Me

2011 will be my fortieth year on this planet, and I can’t shake the feeling that it’s way too premature! I have lived a good life, in fact too good for my own good, but there is much I have yet to do, and much I am not sure I should do. This blog will be a log of how I will attempt to make my fortieth year, my best one yet, a reflective look of what I’ve done, and what I still hope to accomplish with my life, whilst desperately trying not to sound like I’m having a mid-life crisis, but you can be the judge of that....