Dear Harlan: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We’ve been living together for a while now, and he has changed. At first he was affectionate and clingy, now he hardly wants to spend any time with me. He says I smother him when I barely even give him attention. Our roommates have noticed he has been cold with me. He won’t talk to me. He just shuts down on me. I don’t know what to do anymore.

— Barely Living Together

Dear Barely Living Together: Your boyfriend says you smother him. You say you don’t. I say you’re not listening. For some reason, you don’t want to hear what he’s telling you. He might be done talking to you because when he tells you how he feels, you want him to feel and say something else. That can be frustrating. Do yourself a favor and pick up the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. The book is eye-opening. It’s all about understanding how to connect with your partner in his language and helping him understand yours.

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