Q.
What is the Phoenix board? And what's with the name?
A. After the evacuation of TT, we decided to create our own forums
rather than relying on other organizations to sponsor discussion
boards. We camped out at WX while the Phoenix board was developed
by a truly extraordinary group of Buffistas. And the name? Suggested
by another extraordinary Buffista (Betsy Hanes
Perry). We're rising from the ashes and all. The Phoenix Board
opened on September 17, 2002.

Q.
Cool! How can I help support the Buffista Phoenix Board? Money,
right?
A. We would love financial support for a webhost, etc. If you would
like to contribute some of your hard-earned money to the Phoenix
Board, Jesse and Sophia Brooks are heading up the fundraising effort.
Any amount is appreciated, none too small, none too big. E-mail
donations@buffistas.org
with your name, username and email, and they will e-mail you back
with instructions about where to send a check. If you prefer to
donate by PayPal, you can direct your donation to
donations@buffistas.org.

Q.
What if I want a pair of Buffista boxer shorts? Or a bucket hat?
A. Boy, are you in luck. We have a
CafePress store full of Buffista merchandise. All items have
the Buffistas.org logo on them, and some have the slogan "Do not startle the Buffistas".

General:

Q.
Where did it all begin?
A. In the beginning there was Salon
Table Talk, and the Buffistas met one another on Salon Table Talk, and it was a free Web-posting board
provided by online magazine Salon,
and it was good. In August 2001 Table Talk moved from being free
to being a for-pay service, which was not so good. And lo, the Buffistas
were sent out into the desert, and came unto an oasis, and rested
there, and it was called WorldCrossing,
which had pictures, and it was good too. But finally the Buffistas
caught sight of the promised land, and it was called The Phoenix
Board. It was ad-free. It was Buffista-built. In short, it was perfect.
So the weary Buffistas laid down their loads and decided they would
wander no more.

Q. What's up with the American syndication schedule for Mutant Enemy
shows these days?
A. Buffy the Vampire Slayer runs five days a week on the FX network
and is in general syndication on the weekends on other channels.
You can see what episodes are playing on FX and at what times here.

Angel runs five days a week on TNT
and is in general syndication on the weekends on other channels.
You can find out what the current episodes and airtimes are
here.

For both Buffy and Angel, the weekend
syndication runs at various times of the day, as determined by the
individual television station.

Q. Where can I get Buffy, Angel and Firefly
on DVD?
A. There are lots of ways, depending on your location and your scruples.

Americans and Canadians can purchase
entire seasons of each show (well, not an entire season
of Firefly...but we shouldn't get into that here...stupid network
wouldn't know a decent show if it bit them on the...oh yeah! DVDs)
at the links below::

There are other options, but they
are both illegal and morally questionable. You can try to download
episodes using one of the multitude of Internet file-sharing schemes
or find someone on an auction site who will sell you a set. Buyer
beware. Have fun.

Q. Why does it matter where I live? What is this PAL business? I just want
the DVDs!
A. Every DVD player is given a code for the region in which it's
sold. And every DVD is formatted for one of two mutually incompatible
television systems: NTSC or PAL. The player will refuse to play
discs that are not coded for its region. And DVDs won't work if
they are the incorrect format for your TV. This means that a disc
bought in one country may not play on a player bought in another
country. Doesn't sound fair to us, either. You can find out all
about it here.

Q. James Marsters isn't English?
A. Nope. He was born in Northern California.

Q. Alexis Denisof isn't English?
A: Nope, he's an American, originally from Maryland, but he trained
at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts and worked in England
for many years. (He's one of the villains in the Sharpe
TV movies.)

Q: Oh, no, what about Anthony Stewart Head?
A. He's English, all right. And, for that reason, was resident accent/slang
coach on the Buffy set. Of course, that isn't his real accent, either.

Q. Is that at least really Giles singing?
A. Yes. Anthony Stewart Head can sing, although his air guitar skills
are in doubt. In fact, he starred for years as Frank-n-Furter in
the London stage production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
There's even an online collection of songs ASH has sung through the years.

Q. I remember a few weeks ago somebody posted a link to a good fanfic.
Do I have to swim upstream against thousands of posts to find the
link again?
A. If the system is working properly, no. Hopefully someone will
have posted the link at the Buffista Links
Page page. This page also has links to the most frequently referenced
Buffy sites online, some fan sites and all the core Buffista sites.
If you're looking for fanfiction in general, you might want to visit
Fanfiction.net
or the Buffy Fiction Archive.

Q. Can I add my own links there?
A. Yes, please do, especially if you have a personal homepage or
a personal fanfic collection.

Q. My SO/parents/roommates/cats won't watch Buffy. They sneer at
me and my tacky taste. They've finally agreed to watch Just One
Episode, in order to shut me up. Which episode do you recommend?
A. Some Buffistas recommend you start with the first season right
away. This way you don't have to explain any of the backstory.

Others suggest something from one of the middle seasons. This way you aren't constantly saying, "Oh,
that's Angel, but he later got his own show," or "Oh, Cordy and
Xander aren't dating any more."

Many Buffistas have had good results
with Season 4's "Hush" (almost no dialogue, funny mime scenes) and
"Something Blue" (Buffy and Spike become betrothed; hilarity ensues).
If you don't have DVDs from Season 4, try "Earshot", from Season
3. Season 6's musical episode "Once More with Feeling" will often
work wonders on an unbeliever, err, new viewer.

If you're trying to convert through
Spike-lust (or even spickle-oost), "Crush" from Season 5 works.
Sure, what Spike does in the episode is pretty creepy, but there's
the Tongue Thing going on. Gaaah... excuse us. "Intervention," also
from S5, offers a nobler, gentler Spike, and the notorious Buffy-job.

If these suggestions don't help
you, we recommend finding new parents/SO/roommates. (The cats can
simply be locked in the bedroom for the duration.)

Customs and Ritual Practices:

Q. How do I register at this here Phoenix Board?
A. First, go to the registration page
(duh!). Fill out the online form with your user name and a valid
email address, and then click the "OK" Button. An email
will be sent to you with confirmation of registration and instructions
on how to activate your account.

Q. I want one of those tagline things. What do I do?
A. Well, first of all, you have to be registered
and logged in. Then, see the link on
the left-hand side of the screen that says Set
Profile? Click it. The first field at the top allows you to
enter your tagline. To preserve taglines as they are retired, you
can build a personal tagline museum in the description field section.
On the same page, you can also change your subscriptions, email
address and password. Note: After you click the OK button at the
bottom of the page, the system will update your profile and display
the following message: " Your profile has been updated as shown
below." You will not be returned to the page you were reading
when you clicked on the Set Profile
link; use the back button on your browser or the links on the
Set Profile page to return to the
main discussion area.

Q. How do I Post?
A. Only registered users can post at the Phoenix Board, so registration
is the first step. When you reach the end of a thread a comment
box will appear at the bottom of the page for you to post your message.
Type what you have to say and click the "Post Message"
button. You may edit your posts, or delete them at a later time
if required.

Q. What's with all those cool cartoon versions of the cast?
A. Those are StorTroopers. You can build your own Stor at
http://www.stor.co.uk/ . Several talented people played around
with creating Stors to represent the cast, and before we knew it,
we had a gallery.

Q. Can I use HTML to format my posts in nifty and interesting ways?
A. Sure. For example, you can change the font size and style:

<font size="+1">BIGGER TEXT</font>

BIGGER TEXT

<font size="-1">smaller text</font>

smaller text

<b>bold text</b>

bold text

<i>italicized text</i>

italicized text

<u>underlined text</u>

underlined text

<strike>struckthrough text</strike>

struckthrough text.

You can't go crazy, though. To preserve our sanity, and for inconspicious
workplace surfing, the administrators of the board have disallowed
the <img> tag. So don't bother trying to post any images,
because we won't see them.

Q. That HTML stuff sure is fiddly. I wish there was an easier way.
Actually there is -- Quick-Edit. It uses magical incantations instead
of HTML code. Not really. It looks for certain special letters at
the start of lines. The smart thing about it is that the board completely
ignores single line breaks. Try it -- if you post
Spike is
really
foamy
it will all come out as one long line. but if you post
Spike is
i really
foamy
it will also come out as one long line, but with the word "really"
in italics. The text will stay in italics until you force a line-break
in the text box by hitting the Enter key. It's kind of counter-intuitive,
but quicker, as you only have to three keystrokes instead of seven.
Some more QuickEdit characters are described below, or see our
Board how-to page for a complete list.

Q. How do I quote something I want to reply to?
Either italicize it, or place a forward facing caret > in front
of it. If you use the caret, the text will end up looking like this:
Quoted text for reply.
If you use a right-square-bracket, ] then the text will be indented
but in the regular font:
Quoted text for reply.
Like italics above, the text will be indented until you force
a line break in the text box by hitting the Enter key.

Q. How do I block the posts of another poster?
A. If for whatever reason--say your mom has found the buffistas and is telling everyone
all the embarrassing stories about you that she can think of--you've had enough of
reading a certain person's posts, and you'd like some peace, you can block their posts.
Click on the "Block" link beside a person's username to hide the content of their posts
from your weary eyes. You'll still see their name, but the post itself will be blinvisible.

If you get curious about what your mom is saying about you now, you can clink on a link in
the post, and display the text from that post only, while keeping all her other posts blocked.

When you and your mom finally make peace and you decide to start reading her posts again,
you can unblock the posts by either clicking the "Unblock" link next to the individual's
username, or you can click on "Set Profile", scroll down to the list of "Filtered Users",
and uncheck the box beside the name of the individual(s) you wish to unblock. Hit "Ok" to
save your changes to your profile page and voila, she is unblocked.

Generally, to keep things polite and humming along, we like to say that "The first rule of
blocking, is not to talk about blocking." Announcing you've filtered someone is considered
extremely rude. Accusing people of blocking you is also uncool. Just remember that
"the Buffistas are...[a] flame-free community."

Q. What do you
guys consider a spoiler?
A. Anything that hasn't been broadcast. So anything from the show
and the preview trailers is okay, anything from TV Guide or anywhere
else is a spoiler, including casting news, episode titles and plot
twists. No white fonting. Spoilers should only be posted in the
spoiler thread.

Q. Are all casting news items considered spoilers?
A. Most. When in doubt, treat them as spoilers (see previous Q&A).
Certain main cast information is allowed during the Northern Hemisphere's
summer off-season, under our Summer Casting Rules.

Major casting changes, to the Main
Cast Only, announced by the network or studio, may be discussed,
within their respective show threads
only (e.g. post Angel news in the Angel thread, not in
Bitches, not the other NAFDA threads), 4 weeks after the announcements,
or 4 weeks after the previous season finale, whichever
comes later. This allows those posters who wish to remain
free from all casting news, to safely use the show threads for
post-season discussion.

This casting news definition includes
cast additions or departures that occur over summer hiatus only
(not midseason). Plot points related to the character's arrival
or departure are to be treated as spoilers. The Main Cast are those
characters appearing in the opening credits. Summertime discussion
of news regarding recurring and guest roles is not allowed in the
main show threads, and must be contained to a spoiler or spoilers-lite
thread.

Q. What if I can't determine if news
is allowable under Summer Casting Rules?
A. Don't post it. Ask in the applicable spoiler or spoilers-lite
thread. One of our experienced Buffista Spoiler Companions will
be glad to help you figure it out. Chances are, if it's legal
information, one of them will have already posted it in the applicable
show thread, anyhow.

Q. Do I have to use the white font for spoilers?
A. In the Spoilage Lite threads, yes. In the main hardcore spoiler
thread, no, but it's good form if there is something really really
shocking and impending. Like, for example, quotes from an early-bird
review. Also, be aware that people using text-only browsers like
Lynx don't get any juice out of the white font, so it's nice to
give them a text-only warning that there are spoilers ahead.

Q. How do you do the white font to hide spoilers?
A. Back in the old days, we had to use HTML to produce white font.
Now, here at the glorious Phoenix Board, we have a QuickEdit shortcut.
At the beginning of the line you want to display in white font,
type a lowercase "s". Then type a space, and type the spoiler information.
Everything after the "s" will be white-fonted until you start a
new paragraph.

If for some reason, you like doing
it the hard way, it goes like this: <font color="white">SPOILER
HERE</font> will come out like this: SPOILER
HERE. (Select the blank section with your mouse to see it
appear.) This makes the text white, so it blends into the background.
People who want spoilage can highlight, those who don't aren't ruined.

Q. How do I link to something outside of the Phoenix Board?
A. Just use good old-fashioned HTML.
<a href="http://www.somewhere.com/">Name of the
link goes here</a> = Name
of the link goes here

Q. How do I navigate around and between the threads?
A.Within a thread you can use the "Last", "First",
"Next", and "Previous" buttons to navigate through
the posts. The "Recent" link takes you to the page of
most recent posts in that thread.

To check subscriptions in all your
threads, you can use the "Message Center" option to check
for new messages in your subscribed threads, or you can use the
"Read New" link to check for new posts in all your threads.

If you decide that you want to look
at what someone posted several hundred posts back, but don't want
to sit at your computer all night hitting the "Previous"
button, there is an easier way. If you look at the long URL for
each page of posts, the final number in that string refers to the
number of the post you are currently viewing. If you want to return
to post 312, simply replace that last number with 312 and hit enter.
You will then be taken to the post you requested.

Q. Is it okay to go off-topic?
A. It better be, because we live for thread drift. In fact, we got
so natter-y that BHP started the first Natter
Thread. It's a place where Buffistas can chat on all and sundry
without distracting from serious Angel lustage and Faith missage
on the main threads.

Q. Y'all talk a lot! I love it, but I can't keep up! Should
I quit my job?
A. We do not recommend quitting your job in order to catch up with
the Buffistas, although we understand the impulse --- threads here
move really fast, and after even one day away, you will be faced
with hundreds of new messages. So, what can be done? Lots.

If you want to read the discussion
of a current episode, but just don't have time to read every message
that came before it, Nillytown has links to
the beginning of each episode's discussion.

If you just can't keep up in Natter, may we recommend the John H Natter Diet?
It entails reading (1) the Beep Me thread for big personal news, (2) the Sunnydale
Press thread for big community news, (3) Coffee on My Monitor for conversation
highlights, and (4) the last 50 posts in Natter.

Q. What's
with all the initials?
A. We're lazy, so we abbrieviate a lot. Perhaps our most common
use of initials is when we abbieviate the actors' names. Here's
a list of the most common ones. Other initials are explained in
subsequent answers.

AA:

Amy Acker

AB:

Amber Benson

AD:

Alexis Denisof

AH:

Alyson Hannigan

ASH:

Anthony Stewart Head

CC:

Charisma Carpenter

DB:

David Boreanez

EC:

Emma Caulfield

JAR:

J. August Richards

JM:

James Marsters

MT:

Michelle Trachtenberg

NB:

Nicholas Brendon

SMG:

Sarah Michelle Gellar

Q. TT?
A. Table Talk. The discussion forum at Salon.com.

Q. WX?
A. World Crossing. (X = Cross. Geddit?)

Q. Why do you call yourselves the Buffistas?
A. It comes from a tagline "'Do not startle the Buffistas.' --J
H-M" belonging to Stephanie A. Johnson. She explained in B.3.6452:
"Cross thread. Someone on one of my other threads (Grown Up Tantrums)
mentioned DB, and Dana and I were joking about it. One of the
uninitiated inquired as to who DB was, and J H-M said that 'it's
a Buffy thing,' and then she posted the tagline." For the record,
J H-M's full post was:

It's a Buffy thing. Just keep talking in a soothing voice
and move slowly toward the door.

Do not startle the buffistas. Q. I've been
re-reading posts about "Fool for Love" and "Darla" and noticed
copious use of the word 'retcon.' What chew talkin bout, Willis?
A. Retcon is an abbreviation for retroactive continuity. Retcon
is when writers to tie up loose ends by creating a past which
almost certainly wasn't imagined at the time the original story
was told, but which now offers a semi-rational backstory. It's
a legitimate form of writerly creativity, but is somewhat disdained
by Comic Book Guy type fans. Actually, it is a term that comes
out of comic book fandom, and it was originally applied to such
situations as Captain America not dying at the end of WWII but
actually having been frozen in a block of ice until the 1960s
so that he could show up as a contemporary Marvel Comics character.

Q.
Post cereal?
A. First it was serial post -- an explanatory note made by a poster
when he or she put one post immediately after another, even though
he or she could just edit that first post. Serial post became post
serial, and then it became post cereal, and now it's grape nuts.
You can expand the oeuvre with the following official Post brand
cereals: Alpha-Bits, Cocoa Pebbles, Shredded Wheat, et al.

Q. What's the deal with BuffyNAngle4Evah!!!?
A. BuffiNAngle4Evah!!! is a parody of the sort of thing people
Not Like Us say. It's a way of saying "Yes, I am unalterably committed
to the Buffy/Angel relationship being Eternal, and yes, I am well
aware of how silly this makes me look." in a compact fashion.
It saves us all an argument. And, you know, everybody on the internet
is a bad speller.

Q. OCM? Hmm?
A. Operant Conditioning Militia. Name for the Initiative when
it was clear it had something to do with psychology professor
Walsh but before we knew it was called the Initiative.

Q. Hey, who or what is a CoW?
A. Council of Watchers. The big jerks.

Q. Who's KoB?
A. The Knights of Byzantium, another mildly fascist, patriarchial
group of knuckleheads. Key seekers. Annoying. Refugees from a Monty
Python sketch. You know, the KoB.

Q. And the KoB are led by General Forehead, I presume?
A. Yes, Mr. Big Facial Tattoo is General Forehead, formally known
as Gregor.

Q. What's the CVR?
A. CVR is short for Canadian Violence Ratings. The folks in Eastern
Canada get Buffy on Monday, a day ahead of everyone else,
and Betsy asked if they report on any really
scary episodes so she could know to cover the eyes of her little
ones. So late Monday, the nice people from the North let us know
if there are any particularly spectacular beheadings, upsetting
character deaths or frightening bumpy-headed things in the night.
These are personal opinions and are not necessarily shared by the
majority of the Canadian people, nor by the Canadian government.

Q. Hey, who or what is a DH, SO, GF, BF?
A. Dear husband, significant other, girlfriend and boyfriend, respectively.

Q. What's with the exclamation points in stuff like ShitTogether!Xander
and Mopey!Buffy?
A. According to Dana D., it's something originated in other fandoms,
especially those that have a lot of fanfic. It's used to describe
a commonly seen variety of a character; we usually apply it to a
particular trait or dimension of a character, such as Catty!Willow.

Q. Someone told me to join FFANG? F-f-what?
A. Fans For A Naked Gunn. You know you want it. (Tim, are you listening?!)

Q. NAFDA? Is that an international Buffista treaty?
A. Ummm..... No. It's the North American Free Discussion Area. We
have many posters who aren't from North America and are therefore
half a season or more behind. In order to keep them unspoiled, we
limit discussion of current episodes to specific threads. These
are the NAFDA threads. If it's not labeled as a NAFDA thread, don't
talk about current episodes in it. We also ask that you don't discuss
one show's current season in another show's topic without whitefont,
because some people are on tape delay. This means that events from
the current season of Buffy should be whitefonted in the Angel topic
and vice versa.

Q. What's foamy?
A. Well, James Marsters, for one thing.

Madrigal Costello - B.3.7325: "I thought foamy came from the end of 'Beer, Bad' when Xander asked,
'What have we all learned about beer?' and Buffy gleefully squealed,
'Foamy!' The word is used to express things that prompt that kind
of unthinking joy."

Erin Griggs - B.3.9020: "And now
for something completely different... I propose a social experiment.
Let's try to get 'foamy' into the mainstream of slang. It can be
used for sexy or hot. Start using it for sexy, non-BTVS
or Angel guys and see how soon it pops up in either 1)
any movie with Freddie Prinze, Jr., or Kristen Dunst or 2) popular
magazines. Report back."

Betsy Hanes Perry - B.3.9026: "Foamy isn't just used for sexy; it is
also used for anything one strongly
approves of. (I believe I'm not the only TTart who uses it this
way.) Raspberries are foamy."

Holly Loth - B.3.9031: "Foamy = all things of the good, with overtones of sensual (or sensuous?
I never remember). Raspberries are indeed foamy, and so is Xander
(IMHO), but, for instance, The Matrix, quality of the picture
notwithstanding, is not foamy, nor is someone we admire but wouldn't
want to see in leather pants, like, say, Ralph Nader."

Erin Griggs - B.3.9034: "And as
much as I hate to differ (and believe me, I fought a long internal
battle on this one, hating Keanu Reeves as I do) Keanu and Lawrence
Fishburne in The Matrix are, indeed, foamy. However, even
in leather, Keanu in Much Ado About Nothing is not foamy..."

Dana D. - B.3.9036: "I thought
The Matrix was pretty foamy, myself. However, The Talented
Mr. Ripley, which I saw this weekend and adored, I wouldn't
call foamy. I think foamy implies a certain... lightheartedness."

First contextual occurrence? Seems to be:

Deborah Grabien - B.2.2931: "Maybe
it's a girl thing, but watching her deck Parker not once but twice,
watching her sniff Xander (boy smells...good), watching the lovely
subtle way Joss brought it home to us that the slayer skills are
atavistic, not learned, watching all their tilted heads as they
stared down at decked-for-the-second-time Parker, the fact that
most of this season's iconic quips in our household came from that
episode (well, also from PANGS)...all in all, BEER BAD made this
cave-slayer, well...FOAMY."

Second? Oo! We have a pattern. Someday
the OED can blame Tracey Forbes and Deborah Grabien.

Q. What's NGA?
A. Not Getting Any. Astonishingly, this title applies to some of
the foamiest Buffistas. Clearly, they've learned the lessons of
the Jossverse well --- sex is evil.

Q. What's an HSQ?
A. Holy Shit Quotient, a term invented by David S. Refers to the
moments when you go, "Holy shit, I can't believe they did that!"
The second season of both Buffy and Angel had
a heavy HSQ. Notable examples are Buffy sending Angel to hell and
Dru revamping Darla.

David J. Schwartz - A.3.3302: "I
don't know if I believe that Tim has a beagle. I have a beagle and
he doesn't swim. YBMV. (That's Your Beagle May Vary, in case you're
heading for the FAQ.)"
Q. BRQG? Buff Diving?
A. Funny you should ask. The Buffista Random Quote Generator (BRQG)
is a collection of the wit and wisdom of Buffistas through the years.
Well, maybe it's more like snark and snerk, but you get the idea.
Reading the BRQG is known as Buff Diving, and you can try it out
here.
Warning: quotes may be spoilery for people who haven't seen the
current episodes, but it will not be spoilery for anything that
has not aired in the US.

Q. Timelies? When?
A. "Timelies" is a multi-time-zone-friendly greeting for
our poly-time-zone community. It evolved from "Good Morning/Day/Afternoon/Evening/Night!"
into "Timely Greetings!" and eventually the simple "Timelies"
you see being used on the board today.

Q. Doblerize?
A. In Say Anything, the hero,
Lloyd Dobler, confronts a friend who is drunk and being difficult.
Dobler gets in his face and shouts "You. Must. Chill!"
So to Doblerize is to tell somebody (possibly yourself) to calm
down and step away from the ugly bag.

Q. M.E.?
A. M.E. is short for Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon's production company.
Grr, argh. The producers and writers of Buffy and Angel
are sometimes referred to as Mutant Enemies.

Q: And what do MoG and Fang Gang mean?
A: Same description, different show. MoG stands for Ministers of
Grace and refers to Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn. The term is taken
from a line in
Hamlet, "Angels and ministers of grace, defend us." (Spoken
by Hamlet when approached by the Ghost of his father, the King.)
Television Without Pity (aka TWoP) uses it in its recaps, and
we've picked it up. Fang Gang is another shorthand for Angel, Cordy
and friends. The first Fang Gang were The Three, a group of warrior
vampires sent to kill Buffy. Angel saved her, they hid in her house,
he spent the night, the rest is history, blah blah blah. When sharp-toothed
Angel got his own gang, fans adapted the name.

Q. Who is BBoC and what does she want with Spike?
A: Big Block of Concrete, aka Concrete Block... Sometime during
Season 5, an inspired Bronzer named Amy said "If they told James
Marsters that his new love interest was a cement block, he would
have chemistry with the cement block. We would all be Spike/Cement
Block shippers, and there would be a S/CB fic list, and whenever
JM looked at the block just so, we would all post things like, 'Whoa,
Cement Block looked hot tonight.'" We leapt on the phrase with glee.
"The BBoC factor" is a reference to the fact that James Marsters
can generate chemistry with anything. Even Riley.

Q. Who are Fuffy and Baith?
A. In the Season 4 episode "Who Are You?" Faith used a magic widget
to put her personality in Buffy's body, and visa versa. To keep
the switch straight, we refer to Faith's-personality-in-Buffy's-body
as Fuffy, and Buffy's-personality-in-Faith's-body as Baith.

Q. Who's the GGG?
A. The (ex-)Host of the karaoke bar Caritas. The demon that can
read your aura when you sing. You know, the Gay Green Guy,
the artist formerly known as Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan.

Q. Schmuck bait? Schmuck bait arms? What the heck are you maniacs
talking about?
A. Well, schmuck bait is a term which often appears in the shooting
scripts, defined thusly by BtVS writer Steven DeKnight, "'Schmuck
bait' is a term, I believe, used when we roll out a classic horror
gonna get'cha moment. Usually used when a trap is about to be sprung
by the Big Nasties. Our hero is the Schmuck, the trap is the bait,
hence 'Schmuck Bait.' Schmuck Bait Arms is something of a shout-out
to our patron saint, Tim Minear, who used the term in a Cordy-Skilosh
scene in "Epiphany."

Q: What's
the difference between shooting scripts and transcripts?
A: Transcripts are transcribed from what was actually broadcast.
They are written by fans and occasionally contain inaccuracies,
but Joerg is good about fixing errors brought to his attention.
As such they are the best source from which to determine canon.
Shoooting scripts are written by the actual Buffy and
Angel writers. They often contain bits of dialog or entire
scenes that were not broadcast, due to time constraints, continuity
issues, etc. Shooting scripts also contain the writers' witty stage
directions. They're steadicam-a-licious.

Q.
Who the heck is Cousin Clingon?
A. Landok of the Deathwok Clan, the Host's cousin, looks and acts
disturbingly like a Klingon warrior from Star Trek, thus
the alliterative sobriquet.

Q. Slash? That sounds kind of dangerous. Should I get out of the
way?
A. Slash is the term for same-gender romantic or sexual pairings
in fanfiction. So a Wesley/Angel, or Xander/Spike, or Buffy/Faith
relationship is slash-y, to name a few popular fanfic couples.

Q. What's a TCBITW?
A. Gudanov's daughter is the cutest baby in the world. The baby
Darla tempted Angel with in China is the second cutest baby in the
world.

Q. And UST?
A. UST stands for unresolved sexual tension.

Q. I am intrigued -- what the hellmouth is a "wildfeed"?
A. The ultimate device of pleasure for spoiler whores. People with
dishes get the broadcast satellite wild feed for Buffy
on Sunday mornings. A few of these kind people (pushers) write very
detailed descriptions of episodes on Sunday morning.

Q.
"I'm [x]ing right now, and it's fucking great!" Huh?!
A. In March of 2002 the inimitable Fayjay said (Bitches.4.1559):

See, we just illustrated the glorious affirmative process that is
online communities.

Person A: <sheepishly/shamefully> I...I kinda like to wear rubber gloves
on my head and pretend to be a chicken. Sometimes. Er. For a laugh, you know?

Person B: I do that every weekend.

Person C: I'm wearing a rubber glove on my head right now and it's
fucking great! Those non-rubber-glove-wearers (henceforth to be called NRGW) don't know what they're missing!

Person A: Yeah!

Person B: Let's set up our own forum at World Crossing.

Q.
Are y'all porn freaks or something?
A. It's not our fault. Blame Joss. Here, look at what he
says: "I have never spanked my creations. And by never I mean
seldom, and by seldom I mean porn."

Q. What is the plural of apocalypse, anyhow? Apocalypti?
Apocalypses? Apocalypotumus?
A. Many people think there isn't a right answer, others stand by
apocalypses. In any case, it's probably rather traumatic and flamey.

Q. What's up with threads from Table Talk?
Originally the structural limit of a Table Talk thread was supposed
to be about 2000 posts, but the Buffistas just kept going and going
through 4000. After new software was installed, the first thread
was archived and the second thread created. After the new software
install, Table Talk threads were able to reach 10,000 posts. Then
we were on World Crossing where there was technically no post ceiling,
but it became traditional to euthanize a thread at 10,000. Then
WX decided, for the sake of their database, that all threads needed
to be cut off at 3,000 posts, which is when we really started blowing
through threads.

Thread Title

Dates

Time Period

Posts

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer": Am I the Only "Watcher"?

May 19, 1997 to September 28, 1999

Two years, four months

4014

Buffy: The Continuation

September 23, 1999 to March 13, 2000

Seven months

10018

Buffy, the neverending story

March 13, 2000 to August 24, 2000

Six months

10021

The Slayer, The Witch and Their Wardrobes Buffy Part
4

August 24, 2000 to December 12, 2000

Five months

10173

Buffy 5x5: And by '5' we mean 'porn'.

December 12, 2000 to March 1, 2001

Four months

10114

Buffy 6: In Joss We Trust

February 28, 2001 to April 24, 2001

Eight weeks

10012

Buffy 7: Counting Down from 7-3-0

April 24, 2001 to June 20, 2001

Eight weeks

10294

Buffy 8: We Mock You With Our Monkey Pants

June 20, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Angel

September 21, 1999 to November 16, 2000

One year, two months

10010

Angel 2: "It's all about the coat."

November 15, 2000 to March 27, 2001

Five months

10069

Angel 3: "The Schmuck Bait Arms"

March 26, 2001 to July 2, 2001

Three months

10126

Angel 4: Three times and you still have your soul?
We'll go again.

July 2, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Buffy & Angel SPOILER Discussion

July 4, 2000 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Unamerican Buffista Support Thread

September 26, 2000 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

The Quotable Buffy

June 19, 1999 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

The Quotable "Angel"

October 6, 1999 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Spike's Bitch

November 16, 2000 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Buffista Bureaucracy

December 5, 2000 to August 14, 2001

Nine months

4429

Q. What's up with threads from World Crossing?
A. Originally WX was just a backup, so we duplicated thread titles
directly. Keeping with the 10,000 ceiling, Buffy 6, for example,
on WX, lasted long after it's predecessor on TT. When TT finally
committed hari-kari, and we hit 10,000 on a WX, we started new thread
numbering from where we'd been on TT. Confused? Yeah, us too.

Thread Title

Dates

Time Period

Posts

Buffy 6: In Joss We Trust

April 17, 2001 to October 30, 2001

Seven months

10024

Buffy 9: Once More, With Braiiiiiiiins

October 30, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Angel 3: The Schmuck Bait Arms

April 17, 2001 to November 19, 2001

Eight months

10017

Angel 5: I Almost Forgot To Brood

November 19, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Natter / Table Talk Status

April 3, 2001 to September 19, 2001

Six months

14060

Wouldn't you like to be a Natter 2

September 19, 2001 to November 16, 2001

Two months

10653

Natter 3: Natter Abhors a Vacuum

November 16, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Buffista Bureaucracy

April 17, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Buffistaville: Sang Sacre

October 25, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Buffy Backstory

September 24, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Unamerican Buffista Support Thread

April 17, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

The Jossverse in Other Media

June 6, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Buffy & Angel SPOILER Discussion

April 17, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

The Atlantic Canadian Monday Madness Discussion

April 17, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Spike's Bitch

April 17, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Lust Bureaucracy

July 25, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Buffyverse Fanfiction

September 19, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Literary Buffistas!

August 24, 2001 to Present

Ongoing

TBD

Q. Why do you have so many threads?
A. Because we need them. Step off! Oh, okay, fine. Actually, for
each show there is a main thread, a quotable thread, and numerous
past threads archived in the TT or WX attic for passing 10,000 posts.
There's a spoiler thread for those ahead of everyone, and an Unamerican
thread for those behind everyone. There's "Jossverse in Other
Media" to discuss Buffy books, musics and comics. There's
"Buffista Bureaucracy" to take care of administratrivia,
a Natter thread for guilt-free thread drift, a "Buffy Backstory"
to discuss old episodes of Buffy rebroadcast in syndication
and a lust thread for Spike because that takes up a lot of space.
And sometimes we need other threads for special projects, like planning
a F2F or producing Buffista merchandise. You gotta problem with
that?

Q:
I'd like to find this really cool post someone made about Glory
being lame a few months ago. Do I have to look through all those
threads?
A: Maybe, maybe not. The Buffistas have their very own search engine,
but it only searches Table Talk posts up through Buffy 6. Go to
http://www.ofthegood.net
for details on how to sign up for a password and use the engine.
And remember to thank Tom Kr for his work on it. If you can't find
what you're looking for there, you might try
Nillyland.
And if that doesn't help, ask. Chances are, someone will remember
what you're talking about and know where to find it.

Q. So can I read older threads in the Television Attic at Table
Talk or in the Archives folder on World Crossing?
A. Yes. OR you can download (this is much easier BTW) zipped whole
threads from DX Machina's most wondrous thread
archive. Threadsucked by DX and company for your reading and
researching pleasure.

Q. I'm interested in seeing what the Buffistas said about a particular
episode. Any ideas?
A. Check out Nillytown,
the thread devoted to just that topic.

Traditional Costumes:

Q. Is it true there's symbolism associated with leather pants?
A. Yes. Please print out and laminate the following wallet-sized
guide for future reference.

Leather Pants Reference
Canonical - Version 1.1
By Liese S.

Black Leather Pants

Evil

Pleather Pants

Plevil (TM Holli)

Brown Leather Pants

Almost Eviltude

Pink Leather Pants

Dracula Thrall

Green Leather Pants

Seduction

Purple Leather Pants

F*ck Me, Please

Red Leather Pants

Moral Ambiguity

Q. Hey, exactly which "everyone" was the GGG speaking
of when he said, "I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say,
if all you're going to do is switch back to brood mode we'd rather
have you evil. Then, at least, leather pants."?
A. The "everyone" that's the TT Buffistas. We rule!
TIM: Oh, and "leather pants,"
yes -- shout out to TT. Q. Any other
symbolic garments or accessories I should know about?
A. When they are being bad-ass, Angel represents with the Swooping
Garments of Righteousness and Buffy sports the Stern Ponytail of
Righteous Indignation. Also, wearing tweed means you're English.

Q. Does Gunn have a traditional costume?
A. Yes. Clothes! I mean, really. If you too oppose this constant
state of shirtedness, please consider a generous donation to your
local chapter of FFANG.

Famous Citizens:

Q. Is that really
Tim Minear?
A. Damn right it is.

Q. Did you know it's My-near, not Min-ear?
A. Nope, we didn't. But now we do. Thanks.

Q. Is jengod really a goddess?
A. We like to think so. She was the mistress of the original Buffista
web pages on Geocities, the impetus behind our multiple redundancies,
has divine knowledge of the industry, and is incredibly quick with
a shooting script quote. And have you seen her
interview with Andy Hallett? If she's a goddess, though, she's
the lovely, modest and benevolent type, not a bimbo Hellgoddess.

Q. How does Nilly manage to find just about any quote, post or article
within minutes?
A. We aren't sure. Nilly protests that she has to be so organised
on paper because she is otherwise so disorganised. We can only boggle
at her prodigious photographic memory. After every new episode,
Nilly is kind enough to gather links to the beginning of the discussion,
so she's got her own thread, Nillytown.

Q. Is there any earthly explanation for Betsy?
A. No. We think it has something to do with good fairies.

Q. ita? ITA!? Where the hell are you, ita?
A. Shh. Calm down! Jeez. ITA is 'I totally agree.' ita, at whom
you should not shout, is this unspeakably cool chick who likes knives
and built the Phoenix Board by willpower alone. She is a 'charming
Jamaican/Canadian/British thang' and we all want her and want to
be her.

Q. Why is Hellish so bloodthirsty?
A. We're not entirely sure, but if you mentally block out his knee-jerk
proclamations that "Faith/Tara/Dawn must die!!!" he's had some interesting
things to say.

Q. Mejia?
A. A shot-by-shot summary of a teaser, promo, or "Previously on..."
Named in honor of Jeff Mejia, who generally posts these the day
after airing, and who once Mejia'd the entire five-season, 192-shot
"Previously on..." from "The Gift." Looking for a specific Mejia?
Check out Mejiaville.

Q. meara?
A. A meara (so called after the meara, because of her habit
of mearaing, and in recognition of some of her prodigious mearas
of yore, and hopefully the rest of this explanation will allow you
to map all that back onto English) is a catch-up post containing
multiple responses to previous posts. So, for instance, if you come
back to the Natter thread to find 300 posts have been made in your
absence, you go through them all and have responses to six of them,
and you put them all into the same post - that post's a meara. And
an accomplishment, which is why they deserve their own brand name.

Q. Shriftweb? Seems like I see that domain a lot. What's the deal?
A. Shriftweb is the domain of our very own Shrift. She hosts the
BRQG, a BTVS
fic archive, as well as other cool stuff that she might tell
you about if you ask really nicely. Basically, she rocks, and spends
more time creating stuff that we love than is probably good for
her.

Q. Who are Manservant Hecubus and Knut the Difficult?
A. Dana started it. We have quite a few David-type people and Dana
noted this on the thread, and proceeded to rename the offending
Davids. David Schwartz became Knut the Difficult, David S. became
Manservant Hecubus. Hilarity ensued.

Here's how it went down:

Dana D. - B.3.650: David Rothschild
(we have entirely too many Davids around here, between Smay, Schwartz,
and Rothschild. I demand that two of you rename yourselves to
Lucien and Joshua), I *loved* that movie. Bloody brilliant stuff.
[The movie in question was Being John Malkovich.]

David J. Schwartz - B.3.661: Lucien?
Joshua? No. I prefer to be called by my viking sobriquet, Knut
Hoarfrost.

Susan O - B.3.672: So who is Joshua
and who is Lucien? And can we all join in a chorus of "These are
the Daves I Know" from the Kids in the Hall?

Dana D. - B.3.673: Well, David
Schwartz insisted on being difficult, so now he's Knut.

Valarie Cook - B.3.689: (De-lurking)
so David Swartz is now going to be known as Knut the Difficult?

Dana D. - B.3.690: I like it.
So it is written, so shall it be.

David S. - B.3.692: Well, I'm
damn sure not going to be Lucien. If David Schwartz gets to be
Knut the Difficult, then I want to be Manservant Hecubus.

Character Worship & Other Religions:

Q. Why is Willow so well-liked?
A. There are several theories. One is that many Buffistas identify
with Willow's social awkwardness and shyness, especially in the
high school years. Another is that Willow's near-genius aptitude
for all things is representative of the high median intelligence
of the self-effacing Buffistas. And then there are those of us who
just want to make sweet love to her while Barry White plays in the
background.

Q. Um, excuse me, it's Season 6. Where the hell does Giles think
he's going?!?
A. Anthony Stewart Head has long expressed his desire to live full-time
with his significant other and two daughters in England. As of Season
6 he is no longer a regular on Buffy but is expected to return
now and again as a special guest star, and may get his own show
on BBC, called The Watcher.

Q. Sometimes I'm lost and confused about things like Angel's hair
and why this season's arc is so upsetting. When I need help, where
should I turn?
A. First, child, ask yourself, "what Buffy would do?"
Then, take some time to commune with our God. Many communicants
find comfort in prayer. Try this one.

And as I walk through the Valley
of the Shadow of Gossip,
I will fear no Spoiler; for Joss is with me;
His wit and fierce emotion shall comfort me;
He gives me great TV in the presence of wrestling and Big Brother;
He anoints my Tuesdays with Willow and Wesley,
my laughter and tears overflow;
Surely Joss will sustain me all the days of my TV watching
And I will follow his career forever. Amen. (By the right reverend Eli Harvey.)
Or, you could repeat this soothing phrase over and over:

"There is no God but Joss, and Minear is his prophet."
Q. Exactly whom do I bribe/blackmail/kill around here for a decent tape
recording of Buffy? I mean, exactly how hard can this possibly be?!
A. Hey, hey, slow down. Appease the gods before you do something
as risky as program a VCR to tape Buffy. Expression your devotion,
show your respect --- pray, my child. Always turn to prayer in times
of trouble and doubt.

Caroma's VCR Prayer
Attention all religious people, established or not, pagan or
Wiccan or Bible Belt or Jewish or Bead Jiggler (like me): Please
pray to the VCR gods tonight for all of us who are Unavoidably
Unable To Be Home. May the cable systems all remember. May the
tapes be fresh and have plenty of space. May our power not brown
out and reset the VCR clocks. May kids and SOs and stray kittens
not wander by and reset the apparatii. May our UPN affiliates
not fold, spindle, or mutilate the show with weird crawls, ads
for other inane shows, sports, or teasers for the Ten o'clock
News. May we all come home to Buffy, just Buffy and purest Buffy,
from Previously to the previews. Amen.
Q. You're a cult, aren't you?
A. Why, yes, yes we are. We have weird cultish names. We use a vocabulary
incomprehensible to non-members. We consider ourselves smarter,
funnier, and wiser than non-initiates. We are focused on a living
leader towards whom members display excessively zealous, unquestioning
commitment.

Q. Don't you people have lives?
A. Life is what happens between new episodes of Buffy.

Q. How many Buffistas does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
[PersephoneMoon - TT.QB.1768]
A. Seven. One to screw it in and six to debate whether full spectrum
light bulbs would give vamps a rash. [Jon B - TT.QB.1769]
A. Plus one more to set up a poll on which kind of light bulb to
use. [David J. Schwartz - TT.QB.1770]
A. No. One to set up a poll to decide on a title for the "Would
Full-Spectrum Light Bulbs Give Vampires a Rash In The Jossverse"
Table Talk thread. [Jon B - TT.QB.1771]
A. And another to set up the threads, "The Lantern, the Torch, and
their Lampshades," "Bulbista Bureaucracy," and "Torchiere&Halojen4EVAH!"
[DXMachina - TT.QB.1772]
A. Twenty-one. One to set up a poll on what to title the light bulb-changing
ceremony. Two to research which high-efficiency light bulb will
encourage more people to de-lurk. Three to blame Anya, Tara and/or
Dawn for letting the light bulb burn out in the first place. Four
to sob that Joyce will never again change a light bulb. Five to
rhapsodize about how hot Spike would look changing the light bulb.
And six to complain about how the new light bulb isn't as exciting
as the light bulbs from the earlier seasons. [David J. Schwartz
- TT.QB.1773]

Q. So how do I suggest additions to this FAQ?
A. Visit the
Buffista Bureaucracy thread and post your serious or snarky
question and answer.