Jill Soloway Loves the Real Housewives, Fights the Patriarchy

"Is it wrong for me to say I love all the women on The Real Housewives?" No, no it is not.

The last thing I expected to talk to Jill Soloway, creator of the critically acclaimed Transparent (which, by the way, is streaming for free today on Amazon), about was TheReal Housewives. But at ELLE's Women in TV event last week, that's just what the Golden Globe winner wanted to get into. That and, you know, continuing to fight the patriarchy.

When she accepted her Golden Globe, Maggie Gyllenhaal said, "What I think is new is the wealth of roles for actual women in television and in film. That's what I think is revolutionary—and evolutionary." Who are the women, besides yourself, who are creating those roles? Whom do you admire?

I love Lena Dunham. Can't get enough of her. I love Pamela Adlon on Louie. I dunno, is it wrong for me to say I love all the women on The Real Housewives? They really release their vulnerability. They're attempting to act but their truth comes through.

Is it wrong for me to say I love all the women on 'The Real Housewives'?

Do you have a favorite?

I mean I'm thinking a lot about Teresa Giudice right now. She's in jail! Let's just take a moment for her.

If you could send her a message right now, what would it be?

Oh, gosh. If I could speak to Teresa right now, well, I would probably fly there just to slowly touch my finger to her finger on the glass. So the first thing I'd say is, "May I come visit?" I mean, she made a mistake a lot of people make: She got involved with a guy who was a little crazy. I blame Joe, that's what I'd say. Teresa, I blame joe.

Back to Transparent (though we could keep talking Housewives...), what's your most vivid memory from filming?

The big fight between Gabby and Jeffrey Tambor, that was a real thing. They were going for it, they lost their shit. Everyone applauded after like it was the theater. It was really cool. The whole thing felt like a ride. I didn't feel like I was a director so much as I felt like I was watching these real relationships unfold and trying to record them. It took on a life of its own.

What's up next for you?

I want to do something with the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival. It's sort of like the lesbian Woodstock and they don't allow trans women. So we might try to get into the festival.

What's the scariest thing you've done in your career?

The scariest thing is having continued to believe in myself in the face of rejection. I got rejected a bunch. Less than three years ago I was trying to get into the directing lab and the scriptwriting lab at Sundance, got rejected from both, hated myself, believed that I sucked. And I made my film anyway.

How do you find the strength to continue following rejection like that?

I'm often looking at the structure of having grown up in a patriarchal society so I try to pretend that I have the kind of insistence on being heard the way I think a lot of men actually do. I think some women go into the world thinking they need to have a voice, to do something that matters, and all men are raised to think that they need to do something that matters. They have to. They're men.

I try to pretend that I have the kind of insistence on being heard the way I think a lot of men actually do.

I'm always just trying to remind myself that the self-hating messages—like I'll wake up in the middle of the night (not anymore but I used to) and be like, don't do this, don't make the film, the scene's not ready, you're doing the thing, you're making a mistake—those are those little middle of the night messages that I'm now recognizing that women have a lot more than men. So when I have them, I just now assign them to what it means to grow up in a patriarchal culture, to be otherized by your culture. In the same way I try to make the world safe for trans people, I'm also trying to make the world feel like women should be at home in it. And it's happening so much right now; look around at all the ways that women are banding together to speak out. I feel the sisterhood of all these other women, we're all together.

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