do you let children say goodbye before putting pet down

our beloved dog's time has come. he is 13+ and is in kidney failure. it is clear that he is uncomfortable and has difficulty moving. we knew this was coming but i'm so sad that it is a reality. i know it is the right thing, that this is the time, but i am just so overcome with sadness.

we will be having our vet come to our home to put him to sleep, likely in the coming days. do we tell the kids and let them say good-bye and not be here for the actual injection? my dh thinks we shouldn't let them say good-bye but tell them after he is gone. i know they will be sad. they are ages 6 and 8.

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Mine were 6 and 9 when we went through this over the summer. We told them that she was very sick, and very old, and that we were taking her to the vet but that the situation may not be good so we need to really love and appreciate her. We paid a ton of attention to her together and then dropped them off at my mom's and went alone. When we came back we told them that she was just too old and too sick and had passed away. My oldest seemed skeptical about the timing but let it slide. I am not sure they would have understood the concept of making this choice regarding their life long friend, it was hard enough for me to be sure about it.

I'm sorry. Big hugs, it's really hard no matter what and extra hard when you have to keep it together for the kids' sake. I cried in short quiet bursts in my bathroom.

First off, I'm sorry. We lost our dog and one of our cats this (well, last) year. It really sucks.

I think you need to let them say good-bye. It's healthy for them to understand death even if it seems like it shouldn't be. Also, try to avoid the term "gone" when referring to the death of a pet. That can be confusing to children because "gone" implies a possibility of return. You go to the store and then come home, as an example.

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Married w/ two great DDs!

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. ― J. B. Cabell

If I was in this situation right now I would not only let them say goodbye but let them be there for the injection too. I was there for my dog when I was 9 and it felt like the right thing to do and still does.

We are going through this right now. Our dog is 3 and recently became paralyzed-we're not sure why, but he can't move anything but his head. He's been at the vet for the past couple of days and we'll know in the morning if he's getting any better-this morning he wasn't and his heart wasn't functioning properly, either.

Anyway. ODS is 8 and he knows what is going on. If he does have to be put down, which I imagine will be the case, he will go with us to the vet and be there with us when it happens. I think it will help him with the finality of it and he will be able to see that Ralphie doesn't hurt and that it was just like going to sleep, so that he won't worry about that later. I think he deserves a chance to say good-bye, and we wanted to prepare him so that it wouldn't be such a shock. This is a way to help a child understand death a little more, without some of the more traumatic aspects there can be.

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Because women are important and not property of men, the state, an embryo or fetus, or someone else's god. -Allouette

We had to put our cat to sleep a few weeks ago, and we did decide to tell DD7 what was happening. She knew that she was sick, but since it was not really obvious from looking at her what was going on she didn't realize the seriousness. I wanted to give her the opportunity to say goodbye, since I would not be keeping the body to cremate or bury. She was fine, but got a little tearful.:( She was worried she'd have to change all her info at school that said she had a cat.