Lauri’s Take on The Wedding

Dan and I have been meaning to write more about our wedding, but things have been a little chaotic since we have been back. Dan is working a lot this summer and I am keeping the kids entertained while they are home. Casper has half a post written for the blog, but just hasn’t been able to pin daddy down to finish it. So, in the meantime I thought I would share a little myself.

Those of you who are regular readers know that I have been married before and that the girls are not Dan’s biological kids. What you probably don’t know is that when I married their dad we eloped. It was a lovely ceremony at a B&B in Eureka Springs and I never regretted that decision, but this time I wanted more of a “real” wedding. If it were up to Dan we would have just gone to town hall and done it with no bells and whistles, but he knew it was important to me to have our families involved so he let me do a small, but slightly more traditional, wedding.

The initial plan was a Halloween wedding here in town and about 50-60 guests, but we changed all of that because I had been considering going back to school in the fall. We reduced the guest list to pretty much only immediate family and found a lovely venue in Branson. Nothing local did all the planning for you and I didn’t want to have to get too involved in it since we had such short time. Well, as you know, that didn’t work out. The place just didn’t feel comfortable about Casper and we were not pleased with them at all. I managed to throw together a wedding in less than a week. Didn’t think it could be done, but I guess I am magic!

It was chaotic up until the moment of the ceremony, but it all came together beautifully. Our loved ones were all there and even my bestie (we have been friends since we were 12) and her boys were able to make it out. Dan was so handsome in his suit and Casper looked pretty good too (of course!). We will have photos to share soon and will have a whole post of just amazing pics.

Our church’s associate minister, Tari Carbaugh, is an amazing woman and we asked her to perform the ceremony. She was only recently officially ordained so we were her first wedding. This woman is so filled with love and joy that you can’t help but adore her. I could not have wished for a better person to do the deed. (Just a side note that we also love our head minister and would have been very happy to have him perform it, but Tari has connected with us on a personal level outside of church as well so it made it even more special. Kevin Tully, we LOVE you. He is so smart, well spoken, funny, and caring. I truly enjoy his sermons and am getting a chance to know him personally lately as well. Okay…)

You may have noticed from our blog that Dan and I are not traditional people. We attend a United Methodist church now, but have switched around over the years and were raised in different Christian traditions. We also honor many ancient traditions in our daily lives that we feel put us closer to the Universe as a whole and also blend with the teachings of Christ. Not going to get into a religious post, don’t worry. We usually don’t talk a lot about politics or religion here since it just gets messy, but this applies to our wedding so wanted to say that much at least. Luckily this mix of ideas is embraced by our minister and she was very helpful in putting together a ceremony for us. She gave us a book that goes through all the parts of a ceremony and specifies which ones are optional and which are required to be a legally binding ceremony. I picked a few items from this book, but mainly used it as an outline. I found other resources from literature and online. We did a hand-fasting which I had to find online as well. Tari helped me tweak it a little so that things flowed well and it came out so beautiful. Many of our guests came up to her afterward and complimented it. She was quick to give me all the credit, but she did help a lot.

I really love how it all came out (it even made Dan tear up and then that made me tear up) so I want to share it with all of you if you are interested.

There will also be a post soon from Casper and photos.

Thanks for your patience,
Lauri

Processional, “I Will” by The Beatles.

We have come together – families and friends – to witness Dan and Lauri as they exchange their vows of marriage. We share with them their delight in finding love with each other, and support their decision to be together from now until the end of time. As this couple enters into marriage, they do so with thought and reverence. They give thanks for the past, which brought them to this place, and look forward with hope to what the future will bring.

(PRAYER)

Loving and Beloved God\From the beginning you have made us to liveIn partnership with one another.We pray for the presence of your Spirit with these two personsFill their hearts with sincerity and truthAs they enter this solemn covenantAmen

(READING)

1 Corinthians 13 reads…

I may speak in the tongues of men, even angels; but if I lack love, I have become merely a blaring brass or a cymbal clanging. I may have the gift of prophecy, I may fathom all mysteries, know all things, have all faith- enough to move mountains; but if I lack love, I am nothing. I may give away everything that I own, I may even hand over my body to be burned; but if I lack love, I gain nothing.Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful, not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not gloat over other people’s sins but takes its delight in the truth. Love always bears up, always trusts, always hopes, and always endures. Love never ends… But for now, three things last; trust, hope, love; and the greatest of these is love.

This marriage is a symbol of Lauri and Dan’s commitment to that love.

(CHARGE)

Lauri and Dan your marriage is intended to join you for life and I ask you now to join hands.

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.
These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
And lastly, these are the hands that, even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving the you same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

Hand in Hand you enter marriage, hand in hand you step out in faith. The hand you freely give to each other, is both the strongest and the most tender part of your body. In the years ahead you will need both strength and tenderness. Be firm in your commitment. Don’t let your grip become weak. And yet, be flexible as you go through change. Don’t let your hold become intolerable. Strength and tenderness, firm commitment and flexibility, of such is a marriage made, hand in hand.

(DECLARATION OF INTENT)

Dan, will you have Lauri to be your wife

And will you love her faithfully as long as you both shall live?

*I will*

Lauri, will you have Dan to be your husband

And will you love him faithfully as long as you both shall live?

*I will*

(VOWS)

The Creator loved us, and made us to love others. Our lives find completion only as we love and are loved in return. Together, we can become what we could never be separately. Marriage is of God.

Dan and Lauri, having spoken your intent to be joined in marriage, I ask you to please join hands and state your vows to one another.

*Dan,
I take you to be my husband from this time onward
To join with you and to share all that is to come
To give and to receive
To speak and to listen
To inspire and to respond
And in all our life together
To be loyal to you with my whole being
As long as we both shall live.*

*Lauri,
I take you to be my wife from this time onward
To join with you and to share all that is to come
To give and to receive
To speak and to listen
To inspire and to respond
And in all our life together
To be loyal to you with my whole being
As long as we both shall live.*

(BLESSING OF RINGS)

From the earliest times, the circle has been a symbol of completeness, a symbol of committed love. An unbroken and never ending circle symbolizing a commitment of love that is also never ending. As often as either of you looks at this symbol, I hope that you will be reminded of the commitment to love each other, which you make today.

(EXCHANGE OF RINGS)

Dan, please place the ring on Lauri’s finger and repeat after me:

*I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness*

Lauri, please place the ring on Dan’s finger and repeat after me:

*I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness*

These two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle. Wherever they go, they will always return to one another in their togetherness. These two find in each other the love for which all men and women yearn. They promise to grow in understanding and in compassion. These rings, on their fingers, symbolize the love in their hearts.

(HANDFASTING)

Author, Simone Signoret, wrote, “Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.”

Dan and Lauri have chosen to conclude their ceremony with a traditional hand fasting ceremony. This is a symbolic binding of the hands that inspired the modern terms “Bonds of Holy Matrimony”, taking a bride’s “hand in marriage,” and “Tying the knot.” Throughout history in many different ways and in many different parts of the world, the hands of the bride and groom were bound as a sign of their commitment to one another. This is a vivid reminder that in true Christian marriage our lives are merged, even as we remain individuals. This is a symbolic prayer that God will enhance your own personhood and bless your uniqueness as individuals: but that He will also make of your hands ONE hand…of your hearts ONE heart…and of your lives ONE life.

Dan and Lauri, I bid you to take each other’s right hand and look into each other’s eyes.Will you honor and respect one another,and seek to never break that honor?

*We will*

[the first cord is draped over the couples’ hands]

And so the first binding is made.

Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?

*We will*

[Second cord is draped over the hands]

And so the binding is made

Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?

*We will*

[third cord is draped over the couples’ hands]

And so the binding is made.

Will you share each other’s laughter, and look for the brightness in lifeand the positive in each other?

*We will.*

[forth cord is draped over the couples’ hands]

And so the binding is made.

[Tie cords together]

Lauri and Dan, as your hands are bound together now,so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust.Above you are the stars and below you is the earth.Like the stars, your love should be a constant source of light,and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow.

(BLESSING)

Apache Blessing

Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness,
for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons,
but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the
journey ahead and through all the years,
May happiness be your companion and
your days together be good and long upon the earth.

(DISMISSAL)

Lauri and Dan, you have expressed your love to one another through the commitment and promises you have just made. It is with these in mind that I pronounce you husband and wife.You have kissed a thousand times, maybe more.But today the feeling is new.No longer simply partners and best friends, you have become husband and wife and can now seal the agreement with a kiss.Today, your kiss is a promise.

You may kiss the bride.

(INTRODUCTION)

May your joys be as bright as the morning, your years of happiness as numerous as the stars in the heavens, and your troubles but shadows that fade in the sunlight of love.

Lauri, that was absolutely beautiful! Congratulations to you and Dan and thanks so much for sharing your beautiful wedding with us! I loved the Apache Blessing and the Handfasting! I am not familiar with either of those and it is so beautiful and meaningful! I look forward to all your pictures as well! Many blessings to you and Dan and may your marriage be filled with much health, happiness and joy!