What is your favorite kid story?

Feeling a bit dark today. Thought that maybe if I told a story about one of my kids cracking me up years ago that might lighten my mood. Of course I
am also hoping that some of you can tell your best story as well.

So this particular story happened when my middle son was about 9 years old. My best pal had just started raising chickens and they were making eggs.
So after a visit with him I came home with a dozen. I put them in the fridge and a bit later had to go shopping.

At the time he was 9 years old so he would sort of tell on himself when he did anything "bad".

So I am at the store and my wife calls me, she was far away with her parents and couldn't take care, but told me, "I think he has done something
wrong, he called me to tell me everything was ok but dad is going to be mad."

So I go home and find him, I ask him what he has done, he takes me to the back yard. My privacy fence is just covered with egg yolk and so on. I am
immediately angry. I am sort of scolding him and asking what the hell this is for? Cussing and all that - I mean not only is it a mess but these eggs
were a present to me right?

So he finally says, "dad, I just wanted to see if I could hit a squirrel with an egg."

I reached back in my mind and realized that - well - if I was 9 - that would be reasonable. I made him help clean - and it was annoying - but really
who of us hasn't wanted to see if they could hit a squirrel with an egg?

Our family takes a vacation every year so my daughter, my wife, her mother and myself hit the car and head out.

My daughter travels very well and lives vacations but her only request is a swimming pool at our hotel. That's a reasonable request in my opinion.

One time when we were heading to our destination, (she was 8 or thereabouts) we were shooting the breeze (dont remember what the discussion was about)
and my mother in law says, "that's dirty pool"....

My sons were 11 and 6. One night we had stayed up to watch the tube. The boys had fallen asleep on the couch. I had moved to the floor in front of the
couch to finish the movie we had been watching.

During the last commercial I looked around and shook them awake and told them it was bed time. Sean, the little guy got up and headed out of the
living room and turned left to head down the hall to the bathroom and then to the bedrooms.

Kevin, the 11 year old was a bit more groggy. As I turned back to the screen, helping myself to another hand of popcorn that was sitting in a big bowl
by my side I heard a strange sound. Kevin had stood up from the couch, pulled down his PJs and was standing there peeing into the popcorn bowl. I
freeked of course. MY POPCORN. I swung out my arm and grabbed his little pp and held it until he woke up.
I got up and walked him toward the bathroom where I expected to find little Sean doing his business. He wasn't there. Instead, he had missed the turn
to the bath room and had moved to the next door and gone in. My bedroom

So there he was. Had he been in the bathroom he would have been standing directly in front of the toilet. But he was in my bedroom standing directly
in front of my chest of drawers ,that unfortunately happened to be open, and was peeing directly onto my clean clothes.

I was babysitting my Great Nephew when he was 3 or 4 years old. One day we were out in the yard and he comes over with a worm. He said, "Auntie, look
a wrom!" I was like, "Eeeew, Auntie doesn't like worms." He squishes it in half and proudly proclaims, "Look Auntie, two wroms!" I was so grossed out,
but he was happy as hell. Lol

So my son would have been around 7 or 8 and found a new friend. One instance this new friend talked my son into egging my neighbour's garage door and
only my son was blamed because the boy denied doing it. I made them clean it up. This was the red flag.

So one day the two boys were outside for a while and I didn't see them, when I checked up on them. So when my son came home I asked him what were they
doing outside, he said "nothing". Red flag! So I managed to get it out of him. They both found a newspaper and decided to crumble it up into balls and
stuff them in the exhaust pipe of all the cars parked on my street and in the boy's apartment parking lot. We had to retrace their steps and look in
the exhaust pipe of every car and remove the crumpled balls of paper.

As a kid I took it literal....a few seconds later it got very uncomfortable and smelly.
'What is smelling burned here?' (my dad asking)
"Papa my jacket is melting!!"
'WHY DO YOU NOT SAY SOMETHING??'
"but I did!"

and the other one, I remember his amused look down at me, said like "you told her to wait and that was what she did"

maybe it is not that funny because I had to translate it. I was not injured, the hole was patched up with a big Pocahontas sewing patch, the hot pipes
that had water in them already melted to top sheet of my winter jacket and started to burn the filling. That story was retold on almost every birthday
or fest that the other adult was around, at least once.

I'm the kid in this one. My father - from whom I'd been estranged for over 40 years at this point - told me this when I was almost 50.

I was maybe four years old. He was supposed to be watching me one afternoon but he was a bit of a ne'er-do-well so he wasn't paying attention. A cop
car pulls up in the driveway, driven by on officer whom my dad knew. I was in the back seat with my tricycle.

The cop had seen me pedaling the trike down the street hell bent for leather. He recognized me and stopped, asked where I was going. "I'm going to
Texas," I replied.

"What you gonna do in Texas?" he asks.

"Drink whiskey and rob banks," was my four-year-old reply.

Apparently the old man was raising me to follow his dreams .

I told my mother that story later and she said, "He''s a liar. That never happened! I never heard about it." I said, "Mama, if he was supposed to be
watching and had let me escape down the street on my tricycle, do you really think he'd have told you?"

Then there was the time we were sitting at the supper table and my kids - both well under 10 years old at the time - were talking about some
foolishness, movies or such. Wanting to get the thinking about other things, I looked out the window and said, "My, look at that beautiful sunset." My
son pipes up with, "Just like in The Lion King!"

originally posted by: incoserv
I'm the kid in this one. My father - from whom I'd been estranged for over 40 years at this point - told me this when I was almost 50.

I was maybe four years old. He was supposed to be watching me one afternoon but he was a bit of a ne'er-do-well so he wasn't paying attention. A cop
car pulls up in the driveway, driven by on officer whom my dad knew. I was in the back seat with my tricycle.

The cop had seen me pedaling the trike down the street hell bent for leather. He recognized me and stopped, asked where I was going. "I'm going to
Texas," I replied.

"What you gonna do in Texas?" he asks.

"Drink whiskey and rob banks," was my four-year-old reply.

Apparently the old man was raising me to follow his dreams .

I told my mother that story later and she said, "He''s a liar. That never happened! I never heard about it." I said, "Mama, if he was supposed to be
watching and had let me escape down the street on my tricycle, do you really think he'd have told you?"

My better half and I were discussing this recently. How much of your own childhood is real and how much is tales from adults that raised you? I mean
you never really know. If I dwell deep in my mind I only really remember back to age 10 or so with random events. Usually the events I remember are
huge, either painful, or just massive for whatever reason.

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