I Got Dibs On The Failing Hockey Team!

In case you haven’t noticed, things are going great over in Glendale with the PhoenixNHL [insert your name here] Coyotes. (Seriously, what do I have to do to get you into an NHL franchise today? This shit is priced to move.) Many of these trials and tribulations have already been summarized on this fine forum. The latest news, however, is perhaps the most ridiculous to come out of Glendale yet.

If you thought the team couldn’t play hockey worth shit, well, you are correct. But, would you have guessed that they can’t even figure out who owns the team? Over the past 24 hours a pissing contest has been waged in the press over who controls the Yotes.

Ed: "Sorry about that whole 'not telling you about the Coyotes defaulting on their lease'-thing.

I got to admit, if I didn’t know already, I would have wagered that the dispute centered over who WASN’T responsible or in control of such a colossal failure. Instead, we have been subjected to the equivalent of the Titanic crew jockeying for the role of captain post-iceberg. Here is a sampling, starring Glendale City Manager Ed Beasley and Coyotes president Doug Moss.

Ed: “The NHL is in charge of the team right now. We have assurances from the NHL the money will be paid. . . . We are sitting down with the NHL and working confidentially with them, and the city expects to be paid in full.”

Doug: “We are not reporting to the league. We report to (owner) Jerry Moyes. I’m dealing with things in my area, the business side, and Donnie (General Manager Don Maloney) is dealing with the hockey side. It’s business as usual. He’s preparing for the draft. I’m preparing for next year on marketing and sales.”

I do marketing and sales, god dammit! I deal with the god damn customers so the coaches and players don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

My question is, why do the Coyotes’ brass even care enough to pretend it won’t happen? Pride? Denial? It is clearly a forgone conclusion once the Coyotes default on the NHL’s loan (assuming they haven’t already). Come on, we all know how good they are at paying their bills. Personally, I hope it happens sooner rather than later. I am excited to see what a company that was recently led into the ground by Gary Bettman can do with this franchise. I just hope that when the NHL takes over it makes the Coyotes switch to a generic jersey and national anthem, a la the “Unified Team” in the 1992 Winter Olympics.

I have so many fond memories of growing up in "Unified Team." I always dreamed of bring home a gold medal to "Unified Team."