Three Jewels take me home

Many changes occurred in my personality after I took refuge in the Three Jewels

I used to be an introverted kid with perfect academic records but baffling with social relationships with my peers. As a result, I was excluded from popular circles and left alone. I never wanted to be a center spot, simply shunted away when someone showed their love and concern about me. I always pretended careless to conceal my deep struggle and self-abasement, but I was very anxious about emotional gains and losses in my social interactions. Very insecure, I lived in my own world lonely for a very long time, in order to escape from the people and things around me. It was difficult for me to open my heart to my parents too.

Before I graduated from college, I saw a post of volunteer recruitment at the Longquan Monastery in the campus network. This was the first time I noticed a monastery. I was curious about what work could I volunteer? What kind of life was there? So I signed up. After a few days someone called me to check my registration information and I visited the Phoenix Valley in an appointment. I was warmly welcomed into the monastery, where I was assigned to brush the tiles in the hallway with other volunteers. I worked very hard with a group of strangers. All of us were very happy working together. After finishing the work at the end of that day, we received a gift, booklets of a Shurangama mantra talisman andthe Shurangama Mantra. I put them into my backpack very carefully, which supported me through the next few years of hardship, keeping me safe and sound when I drifted from one rental to another.

However, I could not continue my visit to the monastery due to its remoteness from my rentals. But it really left me with a good impression.

I always want to seek the ultimate truth, and to understand the relationship between people, so I went to the Chinese Academy of Science to study psychology, focusing on religious psychology. At that time, I started to realize Longquan monastery can offer me the answer. So I took refuge in the Three Jewels and started to learn Understanding Life with our fellow practitioners in a Buddhist group. Bother Ge, the lecturer of the group, said that we were like a basket of potatoes with sticky mud on each, and the process of learning mixed us in the basket, with each grind, the mud fell off and the true self slowly revealed. I was very impressed by his metaphor. Later when Brother Ge was unable to continue, Brother Feng Zhixia began to lead us, and advised me to be the monitor and to expand our small group. At that time, I was scared to take the task since I had no vision for the future development of our team. When the group was struggling, Brother Feng did his utmost to support it. Later, with more members joined in, our group has been greatly improved. I felt that I was growing fast during this period too.

Some fellow practitioners suggested me joining in the foreign language group on the YY platform, Jiang Xiaoxu, the leader of the group, let me arrange the course. At first I was confused. He taught me and inspired me little by little for months. Moreover, Chen Yujian, another follower practitioner, also instructed me greatly. She was so patient that I was deeply touched and inspired by her guidance. I learned patience, tolerance and encouragement from them, these good qualities in their personalities would nourish me in my whole life.

In addition, I took part in such activities as helping poor students and offering porridge to passersby as well, which built up the strength in my faith. When I encountered difficulties at work, like new assignments that I had never done before, I just visualized them in a positive new way: how should I overcome these difficulties and turn into good experiences, by using positive attitude and concentration, not to be misled by other distractions any more.

I found that through contemplation and prayer, I was braver than ever before, I gained a lot of strength and was able to get better results. Slowly, my heart was opened up; I found trivial emotional feelings couldn't trap me anymore. The relationship between me and my parents improved a lot too.

Why do I want to share my own experience? Because my experience reveals that the Three Jewels have protected me. So I can excel from illusions and start to discover myself.

Once I was so proud and arrogant. I used to criticize others, elderly, teachers, classmates or friends or even family members. I am good-hearted in nature, yet living in my own world for a long time. It is Buddhism from Longquan Monastery and our Ven. Master Xue Cheng open the door for me to transform into a better human, or to return to the Real Me. They guided me how to perform, to care about others, to forgive others, to praise others, to help others, and pass this love to my families, colleagues, and friends. I also become a vegetarian practitioner through these years.

I want no harm to any living being. I hope I can help the people around me and to benefit all. I am not afraid to face my weaknesses anymore. I see my shortcomings, repent in front of the Buddha, and ask questions about how to improve myself. I believe with the Dharma practice, I will become better and better.

In all, I hope I can benefit others and to return the kindness of the Three Jewels to all. Although words are not enough to express my gratefulness, my heart tells me that the Three Jewels, our master and our follow practitioners are the treasures of my life.