"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible."
-T.E. Lawrence, "The Seven Pillars of Wisdom"

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

We Don't Even Care

Appreciated more by the title than the lyrics, the song 1979 has become a favorite of mine. Sung by the “lyrical genius” Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins, Billy’s voice warrants adjectives such as “annoying”, “nasally” and “whiny.” An M.I.T. graduate, Billy spoke truth about his generation when he sang the words, “That we don’t even care, as restless as we are.” Douglas Coupland also communicated the same message when he invented the term “X-Generation.” This term does not denote a “cool, hip” generation, but is simply portrays the “x” variable in a math problem—there is no identity. One thing I appreciate about non-Christians is their honesty. “I don’t care,” “I hate this,” “I hate that.” They do not try to cover up their true feelings because they know how they feel inside. Chaos and pain can riddle their soul, but they are honest about it as they scream lyrics such as, “despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.” They will not try to care if they do not care. Christians on the other hand are happy, loving people who are always smiling. We can despise going to church, but we still do it because “it is the right way.” We can be bored out of our gourd with the Bible and prayer, but our dad and mom taught us about it and we know we have to do it. Tithing is a royal pain in the butt, but we must do it because the pastor and “moral people” do it. In our Christian minds, we are so focused on battling against the two natures in ourselves that it consumes us. “We must perfect our lives and get free from this sin while living a Godly life.” The Christians who are truly honest are looked at as the freaks, the “broken” people or even “New Christians” who haven’t overcome their old sin nature, because Christianity is supposed to be happy, safe and fun. In our own battle to overcome ourselves, we have forsaken The Cross. I am not talking about the actual wooden beams, but I am talking about what happened at the cross. I find myself so entrench in my search for God that I forget where I am at. Like a person who is focused on hugging a safety float, doing everything not to let go as I am being pulled by others who are drowning. I don’t even care about those around me. For me, the excuses are many. “I have things to do,” “I already know plenty of people,” and the infamous “well, if they are truly interested, they would ask me.” I want to follow my Savior, but not to close because it might affect other people. It is in my silence to others and my lack of love for others that I have sinned. I have not viewed pornography, cussed someone out or shot someone. I have denied that I have been saved and why I needed to be saved in the first place. Instead of the alterations that I think I need in my spiritual clothing, I am in need of an entire new suit. Do you care? Have you had time to think about those around you? “I am single and lonely in need of a mate, not a ‘project,’” “I am too busy at work,” or “I am too exhausted.” Which one is your excuse? It’s funny because Jesus could have come up with the exact same excuses. “Yeah, well, Jesus was God.” This is true, but He also was fully man, never priding Himself in His deity and emptied Himself for your, our and my life. I am not a Christian because I am nice, I don’t cuss, I don’t get drunk and I read my Bible. I am a Christian because of the simple fact that God’s wrath toward me has been satisfied and He has said to me, “Follow Me.” This change can affect other people, but it is my-self that hinders the work of God in my life. Merciful Lord, be gracious to me, and Lord forgive me, for I know not what I do. This life is too short to be selfish and He is too awful to resist.