As republicans, we like SUVs and other big cars. The taller the ceiling, the airier the cabin, the better. And we hate seat belts. And having a guy in a suit to do the driving for us? Perfect.

Hey, while we're driving our imaginary perfect car, let's also say that it also cuts off funding to terrorists. No, nothing magical, all that takes is fuel efficiency. Because if they couldn't sell oil, the world's billion or so muslims would have the GDP of Finland (Pop. less than 10 million). Without oil being bought, terrorists wouldn't be able to afford bombs. Or food.

With oil out of the equation, the world don't have to appease or invade them. The world will leave them to drown in their own excreta, just how they want it.

A chauffeured vehicle that's longer than a limo and roomier than a hummer, and deadlier to terrorism than an Abrams tank....What a fantasy, right?

Except this vehicle does exist. It's called the bus.

So you'd think as patriotic republicans we'd all take the bus everywhere. Well, we used to.

Then, at the dawn of America's Dark Age, a woman named Rosa Parks got elitist ideas above her station, and arrogantly decided to invite herself to the front of the bus. With a bit of help from divisive, troublemaking community activists, next thing you know, we have desegregated buses. Why?

Because as a multiculturalist she thought that if Real Americans got used to breathing urban crack-breath and sitting on skank-stained seats, we would learn to love those people.

So their theory is that if you want two cats to become friends, you put them in a bag together.

See, I like my next door-nieghbor just fine. He does weird things like mow his grass down almost to the bedrock, and his dog craps all over the yard, but that's okay because we had a nice high fence between us. If you took down the fence, we might not be friendly for so long. And if he moved in with me, well, maybe we might have some interesting conversations, his wife might teach my wife new recipes or introduce us to new music we haven't heard....But it won't be long until he's overstayed his welcome. And then we aren't friends any more.

This is what you do with when you meet multiculturalist: ask to move in with him. "After all, you believe that the path to peace is to cram different people together and make them have to share stuff, right? So we'll be the best of friends, right?"

However, Rosa Parks had no understanding of human nature - instead of desegregating buses, by allowing blacks to sit up front, she SUPERSEGREGATED buses, because now no white people ride on them at all. Not in the front, not in the back, and thanks to affirmative action, not in the driver's seat.

Some say that was her plan all along. The blacks didn't want to mix to bring blacks into the American mainstream, but to drag the American mainstream down to their level. This is why forced integration of schools was first on their agenda: exactly like the militant homosexuals are doing today, they started by recruiting impressionable and nieve children into their lifestyle.

After all, we'd like to have our own whites-only carpooling clubs, but of course you know how they'd howl about that. There is no freedom of association in the our multicoloured utopia. How perfect that today the Rosa Parks bus is in the Henry Ford museum: you can have any seat-mate you like, as long as it's black.

So, since we're forced out of buses to avoid AIDS, and forced out of carpooling to avoid charges of racism, meaning we have no choice but to drive hummers. To fuel them we have to buy oil from Saudi Arabia and other muslim countries, knowing that the money we pay at the pump will eventually be used by terrorists to buy bombs. They don't get funded by camel meat exports. They get funded by the legacy of Rosa Parks.

Brother, your story is as shocking as it is true. I've never sat down and thought about it in this way before, and now that you mention it, this is news that every Republican should be aware of. I will make sure to bring it up at each and every men's meeting that I attend.

Instead of constantly yammering about "electric" vehicles that get 10 miles per charge (and take 24 hours to charge back up), we need to get politicians in office who have the will and the conviction to change this backwards-thinking "political correctness" that is sinking us. Vote Republican 2012!

Brave and patriotic words Brother Jeb. You clearly layout how the civil rights movement FORCED Americans into the car culture in the late 1960s and enabled the rise of Islamic Terrorism. Sure President Obama may have been born in the United States, worship God in a Christian church by as a beneficiary of the civil rights Islamo Fascist alliance Obama is a secret Muslim, even if he doesn't know it.

Has OP heard of biodiesel?
Clearly not.
Rosa Parks for your information sat in the middle and was told to move to the back by a racist bus driver.
You racist idiots can't differentiate between an African American and a Muslim.
You'll all burn in hell because you don't love your neighbour, no matter who they are.
And you don't have to drive Hummers which use so much oil, buy a piffleing fuel efficient car for the love of Pete.
:jesus: didn't die for us to hate and be racist to one another.

Has OP heard of biodiesel?
Clearly not.
Rosa Parks for your information sat in the middle and was told to move to the back by a racist bus driver.
You racist idiots can't differentiate between an African American and a Muslim.
You'll all burn in hell because you don't love your neighbour, no matter who they are.
And you don't have to drive Hummers which use so much oil, buy a piffleing fuel efficient car for the love of Pete.
:jesus: didn't die for us to hate and be racist to one another.

Dear anime-weirdo,

The bus driver wasn't racist...he was reminding the negress of the LAW. Since she probably couldn't read, he was actually doing her a favor.

If Rosa had sat in the back of the bus where she belonged, she would not of gotten into trouble. Simple.
Because of her behavior, may other nigras died when they too, decided to get all uppity. Many got fired from good paying jobs in the service industy only to find solace as heroin addicts and jazz musicians. Look at how many unemployd nigras there are today, literally littering the streets. When I was a boy, every single nigra had a job working for decent people. Prisons were not filled with the crazed nigra animals.
All because of Rosa. Utterly shameful.

I wish I had grown up when most of you did, being not quite 32 years old I witnessed unruly negroes who thought they were above the law. Instead of being good servants they ran wild and got away with everying, meanwhile complaining they didn't have any rights. If the teacher punished them in any way, racism was screamed. I wish I seen [SIC] an end in site, [SIC] but unfortunately don't. It's just a shame that these loyal servants turned to bums!

Brother, with all due respect, your spelling and grammar aren't much better than a Negro's. How can you expect the darker races to better themselves if you won't set a good example for them?

They had to wait until it was too late, with torrential blizzards a pretty little dusting of snow crippling the entire transportation system, as existing infrastructure became paralysed.

This week’s weather fiasco in Atlanta, which stranded thousands of commuters on glassy-slick roads and gridlocked the entire metro region for the better part of 24 hours...

It's not a weather fiasco, it's a desegregation fiasco. The author eventually gets to the truth, but he has to exhaust all alternatives first, starting with a tangent on the Southern Republican love of small governments:

“Atlanta” is actually a 10-county metropolitan region which is home to more than 4 million people and 68 separate municipalities.

Everybody knows the smaller the government, the better it is. I mean, I've never heard of any corruption scandals in my local administration (whoever they are) nor heard any complaints about how they run whatever my local municipality is called. No news is good news. I like having government so flawless I don't need to bother with scrutiny or insisting on accountability, or having to keep up with who is in charge, if anyone.

Finally, to the point:

Exhibit A here is the failure in 2012 of a massive $7.2 billion transportation initiative, which would have paid for sorely needed regional highway improvements and funneled $600 million into the Atlanta Beltline, an innovative proposal to link neighborhoods in the city by light rail, using 22 miles of abandoned cargo lines left over from Atlanta’s heyday as a railroad hub. To which the voters of the metropolitan Atlanta area said: Hell, no. Here is a region that even without freak snowstorms is choking on its own traffic, which has built its reputation on being a transportation hub, which is looking at a future when gas will never be less than $3 a gallon again, and all voters could think about was how much they hated government and paying taxes….

I was a kid when then-Mayor Ivan Allen Jr. proposed a rapid rail system to link Atlanta to its surrounding suburbs, and I distinctly remember the joke circulating among white people back then, the one that said that MARTA (the Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority) actually stood for “Moving Africans Rapidly Through Atlanta.” Plain and simple, it was white folks’ fear of black folks that explained the failure of a sales-tax hike to fund rapid rail in three of the then five counties making up the metro Atlanta area.

Got that? Public transit is being held back by free-range blacks, who frighten away the passengers, and potential public transit supporters. If public transit was whites-only, every corner of Atlanta would have access to Japanese-style bullet trains (there's no blacks in Japan) and this traffic FUBAR (Fornicated Beyond All Recognition) would never have happened.

Building whites-only infrastructure will take time, so I have some short term solutions to traffic-jams: ban homosexuals and single women from driving. I guess single women could carpool, as long as people with her are chaperones. Married women should be limited to grocery shopping, give them a 50 mile limit (I'm not being lenient, I'm just calculating for the fact that some of the suburbs really sprawl there).

Rosa Parks for your information sat in the middle and was told to move to the back by a racist bus driver.

So you blame the driver. Because he happened to be on one particular bus, and had the gall to actually do the job he was being paid for.

Typical - lefties say they're rational problem-solvers who want to improve the system, but in reality they're nothing but preachy busybodies who just want to spew hateful slurs at human beings.

In all of history, when has human behavior ever been improved by incessant scolding, nagging, preaching, chiding, slur-chucking, and the rewarding of step-by-step improvements with MORE scolding, nagging, preaching, chiding, and slur-chucking?

Time for you to drop your immoral, sin-sick, hell-bound ways, come to church and hear the word of the :lord-fancy:.

So you blame the driver. Because he happened to be on one particular bus, and had the gall to actually do the job he was being paid for.

Talking to conservative Mayors from around the country as I do, one of the big problems we all have is keeping the races separate. When they mingel, mixed-race dating gets started. While this dating, often followed by marriage, happens mostly among young people, it's not alway limited to them.

We train municiple employees, like the bus driver that ordered Parks to move, and hope they succeed. When it doesn't work out, public bus service has to be terminated. That is what happened in Atlanta

I was recently able to travel in a German hi-speed rail train, clipping along at excess of over 300 kilometers an hour from Frankfurt to Cologne. It was a very smooth ride, much smoother than any airplane I've ever been on.

How smooth will it be when it's filled with blacks breakdancing, and stomping on their mugging victims?

It was also much quieter than any plane I've ever been on, and of course there were more bathrooms than any plane I'd ever been on.

It won't be quiet with their blasting rap and mariachi music, and of course the bathrooms will be filled with crack smokers.

Instead of being served that really tacky tasting airline food, I was able to go to the dining cart and pick out from a full menu of tasty dishes. During the ride I was able to use my cell phone as well as wireless internet, and of course there could be no luggage lost, because I was able to keep a hold of my luggage, not just a carry on. Then let me state the obvious there was no pre-flight check in, no pat downs, no scanners. When you buy your ticket, you don't even have to go to a ticket counter, you can buy it from a vending machine.

The blacks will vandalize said machine, and seeing as (thanks to video games) we now need pat-downs to go to kindergarten, I'm sure we'll have all that here. Europeans are just reckless with their security, that's all.

If you miss your train it is never a problem, because there will be another train usually within the hour.

Not when your affirmative-action hired driver decides to take a siesta.

Watching the German countryside whisk by at a speed of over 300 kilometers an hour was breathtaking, as well as beautiful.

Wow, look at all the KFCs...

Stewards came by with a cart at regular intervals filled with refreshments,

Let me guess, KFC?

for those who did not want to get up and stretch their legs and go for a bit of a walk. Oh by the way did I mention they had more toilets than any flight I've ever been on.

You do seem to have an obsession with that, I've noticed. Cruising grounds, I guess.

The seating was comfortable in first class as well as coach. I've traveled both. The seats reclined. They had footrests....It should also be said that main German railway stations as is the case throughout the European Union usually connect to subways and other local transportation networks directly.

So, unlike airports who are in the boondocks, trains take you right downtown. Which is exactly where the black people are. No thanks, I'll stick to my private jet in the boondocks.

Please call your member of Congress and please tell them to get on track with hi-speed rail. It's a green technology, as quick as air on many routes, it creates GREEN JOBS that can't be outsourced

Great, hire more uppity American workers....There's a reason we keep outsourcing jobs, it's because we're sick of having to deal with you lazy 47 percenters. It's YOUR fault we can't have this:

CHINA HAS NO BLACK PEOPLE! Of course China can get away with building high speed-train systems. Of course they can ignore all the excuses about low population density - they're planning TWO to go through Mongolia all the way to Europe: