Doctors evil, explains Hunt

DOCTORS only do it because they like cutting people up or making them take their clothes off, health secretary Jeremy Hunt has claimed.

As the dispute over junior doctors’ contracts continued, Hunt argued that only perverts and psychopaths would enjoy being doctors.

He said: “Making people take their trousers off would get you arrested if you did it outside a hospital, but these sick individuals have somehow convinced everyone they should get paid for it.

“Operations are incredibly revolting, there’s no way a normal sane person could do one because it’s too nasty. Who on earth would enjoy cutting open actual human beings and fiddling around with all the slimy stuff inside?

“As for prostate exams, they’re just doing that so they can secretly film it and make a YouTube compilation video of people’s funny expressions.”

Hunt added that unless further strike action was called off the police would investigate any doctor who went beyond the bounds of “proper medicine” such as giving out cough syrup and lollipops.