Mostly Pleasant [Possibly Offensive] Perceptions

Gym Class. Ugh.

I also enjoyed the Otis Spunkmeyer Chocolate Chip Cookies you could get in the morning…for breakfast. If you had the pleasure of having these delectable delights in your school…you know what I’m talking about – perfectly under-cooked.

Math & I did not have a relationship at all; if there was ever a reason I should not have graduated, math is it. How I never failed a single math course is beyond me. I took my placement tests for college & ended up being placed in a math class that focused on Whole Numbers & Decimals. That’s a true story.

As much as Math and I didn’t (and still don’t) see eye to eye… there was a class that was dreaded even more – way more, actually.

Gym Class. Ugh.(That ‘Ugh’ you see there…use lots of emphasis when you read it…).

As an adult – I understand why it is important for children to learn the importance of movement, exercise & team activities. I’m not saying that the class should be veto’d or anything…

I’m sure I’m even in the minority of people who hated (I meant to use that strong word) physical education.

Gym class is one giant master plan to embarrass the living hell out of the unathletic & clumsy.

Here’s why…

Presidential Standards For Physical Fitness Tests

I never met any of the standards; I was below average for everything – Push ups, Sit ups…Don’t get me started on the damn pull up bar. It drove me bonkers that I was madeto hang from the pull up bar – even though I told them I can’t do any pull-ups.

Please….just put zero and let me get to the next embarrassing “test”. Never happened & there I hung.

If someone put a gun to my head and forced me to choose a favorite (yes, that is what it would take) – if I had to pick one; It’d be the sit & reach: Fly myself forward as fast as I can in hopes that my partner can read the line my finger was at…for a split second.

The Mile Run

It would be a large waste of my time, and yours if I explained this, there is no need. I never ran – I walked.

Queen of the 27 minute mile, right here.

Floor Hockey, Soccer, Football…

Basically any sport or activity that included things being kicked, thrown or smacked in my direction was just bad news. If someone made the questionable choice to give me said object – my goal was always the same. Get rid of it as quick as I can; no thought involved. If that means handing the football off to the opposing team because they happen to be closest – I just do what I have to do.

As long as I no longer have the thing the sport is involved around – life is good.

Dodgeball

Or, what I liked to call it… “I-Hate-My-Life-Ball”.

Am I the only one who gave eyes to the other weak girl on the opposing team? You get me out without injuring me & I’ll return the favor. Oh, my turn to enter the game again since someone caught a ball? I usually let other kids go in front of me until the teacher noticed & forced me back into the whirlwind of foam balls.

Hated it.

Rope Climb

Why? Why is this important; this should be optional.

This should only be mandatory for adults who would need to perform this for a job. Firefighter. Police Officer. Military. Body Builders.

There is not a single reason why my chubby 15 year old ass needs to attempt to climb hang from a rope in front of my class. As if hanging from the pull up bar wasn’t shameful enough…

Again, I’d always try my luck…Can you just mark me down as unable to accomplish, please?

The same answer always followed – and there I hung…again.

I tried really hard to think of some things about gym class that I didn’t hate.

All I could come up with were those little 4 wheeled scooters & the parachute; both of those were in elementary school though – before the fear of peoples opinions – so they don’t count.

Yep – I hear ya. I’m not sure about anyone else…But I do not recall ever being pushed to do better, which is kind of messed up. Now that I’m an adult & not a crabby teenager I can rationalize. If the teachers seemed to care that I did not, possibly I would have began caring?

Who knows… It’s over & we never have to go to Gym Class again. *HIGH FIVE*.

Ooo I greatly enjoyed this- don’t take that the wrong way, though! It’s just nice to know I’m not the only person who found gym class anything short of traumatic and humiliating. It’s like they’re setting you up to fail with all those hanging requirements! 😀 I remember actually being struck out with kick ball. Three attempts were clearly not sufficient for me to hit a stationary ball with my foot. Those parachute days were the best indeed!