Sunday, June 25, 2006

"No One Becomes Depraved All At Once" - Juvenal

Steve Benen has a good article over at the Washington Monthly, where he sees three years of dirt being shoveled before the presidential elections:

"Lurking just over the horizon are liabilities for three Republicans who have topped several national, independent polls for the GOP's favorite 2008 nominee: Sen. John McCain (affair, divorce), former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (affair, divorce, affair, divorce), and former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani (divorce, affair, nasty divorce). Together, they form the most maritally challenged crop of presidential hopefuls in American political history."Of course since Hillary is widely thought to be a candidate, the neocons are drooling over what they'll dish out about the Clintons, so it looks like it'll get pretty ugly pretty quick.But what about the bloviating water-carriers-for-the-fascists who will lead the charge? After all, Limbaugh, Savage and their ilk are going to spread it far and wide in the lead up to when Diebold tells us who won the election. Wouldn't it be instructive to at least see a little of their personal life too, to get a sense of how they came to their opinions and why they support the fascists?

Rush Limbaugh, aside from his well publicized addiction to hillbilly heroin, has an interesting past. He got fired from jobs as a disc jockey in Pittsburg and Kansas City, under the aliases Rusty Sharpe and Jeff Christy. After failing to wipe his ass correctly he got out of the draft with his pilonidal cyst. From all accounts he was just a normal shlep with liberal views.

"When asked when he thought Limbaugh "went straight," Sanders replied, "What are you talking about? I mean, he's been married four times now, do people really not get why he doesn't stay married? I guarantee none of those marriages was ever consummated."

Well dog my cats. How about Michael Savage? I'm sure he won't be quiet about the Clinton sexual peccadillos.Seems Michael Alan Weiner, which is his real name, used to be a liberal tree hugger who sort of, might have, could possibly have had homosexual liaisons while swimming nude with Alan Ginsberg, although those are just speculations, mind you.

Hmmm. Well surely one time Secretary of Education, Drug Czar and all around scold William Bennet can be counted on to tell us the skinny about the candidates on all those talk shows he's on Oh that's right, he's probably off dealing with that gambling jones he has.

OK. Let's wait and see what Bill O'Reilly has to say. If he's not too awful busy stalking interns at Fox. Wait can you hear that? Sounds like he's on the phone to her right now:

"So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda kissing yor neck from behind, and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and..."

Whoa. He's already been slapped with sexual harassment for stuff like that.

How about the omnipresent and shrill Ann Coulter? Her word can be counted on as she maintains that she's an avid church - goer, although the minister at "her church" denies she ever was there. Well, at least she's opinionated and is involved in the voting process even when she commits a felony by voting illegallyNow some real mud has been thrown around about this person. I just can't believe that Ann is really a biological man named Arthur Coltrane from Georgia that went to Denmark for a sex change operation. Even though her prominent adam's apple and 5 o'clock shadow makes it seem like she's a man, I have it on good authority that that adam's apple is really only a piece of her neck bone that was displaced when her head was spinning around a little too much.

8 Comments:

I've come across several very knowledgeable people about this - in that they went through the sex change stuff with all the surgery and hormone shots. They claim that certain male characteristics will remain as tell tale signs such as profile ratio, hip to shoulder ratio, hair loss patterns. And that this particular he was a she.

I wouldn't care except for the towering hypocrisy, and that the dead-from-the-neck-crowd would have conniptions. :)