"Fox News Alert, dog trapped on ice. Osama Bin Laden suspected of placing dog on ice, and snickering like something out of loony toons. Authorities are prepared to shoot down the dog before it crashes into the Pentagon. Disney expected to make a movie out of it. War in Iran to be justified by "Dog on Ice" incident. America forgets Poland."

Oh noes. That poor dog could DIE, when three thousand members of OUR OWN SPECIES just did because of a bunch of *ssh*l*es who hate us. Of course, the second one matters not, because a POOR DOG COULD DIE. Not that I'm hating on the dog or anything, but really... it's not that important.

We have some MAJOR BREAKING NEWS out of Kearny, New Jersey, it doesn't actually look important--but wait the TERROR LEVEL IS STILL HIGH! That's important! Hide in your fallout-shelter-class McMansions behind your American flags and VOTE FOR BUSH! God Bless America, from all of us at StateRunPropag--I mean, Fox News.