Make ‘Em A Mellified Man

By consumerist.comJuly 27, 2006

In response to LA Chef Robert Gasby’s intention to open an Outlaw Dinner at the Omni Hotel, our beautiful Gawker blogger brothers over at Gridskipper suggested an addition to the menu: make ’em a mellified man!

Mellified Man was a manmade dish popular in ancient Arabia. According to Mary Roach, author of Stiff, men 70-80 years old, on death’s doorstep anyway, would cease to eat food, instead partaking solely of honey. Pretty soon, they would be mellified, that is, “he excretes honey (the urine and feces are entirely honey).” Soon he dies and is placed in a honey-filled coffin which is then sealed for 100 years. At the end of the 100 years, the goop is eaten up.

Of course, unless Robert Grasby’s grandpa got a premonitory flash a century ago, it’s probably more than likely that our savviest Hollywood stars like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan will have to deny themselves the pleasure of lapping up a plate of honey-soaked shit. Which is too bad: it would be nice for them to recognize the taste in the rest of our mouths.