FLEXI SEX

In short, this is a filthy collection of hardcore flexi disc from British porn magazines. Yes, honest. It's so hard in fact we had to put a Parental Advisory sticker on it. And believe it or not, The Guardian mentioned and reviewed it in their 'things we like' section which means it must be good.

This is the short story of the recording... In the late 70s the ever inventive porn industry tried something a little different.

The idea was simple really, you buy your dirty mag, and free inside, along with the chosen lady of the month was a pull out square-cut flexi disc. A quick jerk and the disc was out, you place it on your music centre, place a coin near the centre to stop it slipping and just turn it on baby! Just imagine, ogling the sweet and filthy shots of Mary Millington and listening to her talking dirty to you at the same time. Or what could be more rude and secret than admiring the voluptuous curves of 'Juicy Lucy' and hearing her begging for your juicy cock. It was a simple and effective idea.

The flexis on this LP date between 1978 - 1982 and come from Rustler and Whitehouse. Like anything in the porn industry they were pressed until the novelty had worn off. And as porn on the new technology called video became more popular and affordable, the little flexi's appeal simple melted away.

Since then, and over the years these little delicate flexis have been consigned to the record dump, which is quite frankly where they belong. But men do collect them and for years they've provided cheap, quirky and dark interludes in cunning sets. In fact I've scanned a couple of originals for you to dribble over. A lot of older djs I have spoken too have or used to have at least one of these little babies, but they are a nightmare to play out on account of their flimsiness.

I must point out now that it was impossible to find any original masters - I even spoke to the man who recorded them who indeed confirmed that there really was no point in any kind of archive at the time. So, we have done are best at remastering - but with light grooves and thin plastic it was an uphill struggle. If we took too much of the surface noise away, not enough of the dirty talking was left in. And too little noise reduction made them unlistenable. So here you have what I can only call a happy, horny medium - two tracks have not even been remastered. So expect surface noise but it's the only way you really get to hear the dreadfulness of them all.

Putting this album together was the work of a few people who must now be spanked. Martin Green, who I think has the biggest collection of this filth, Joel the disco biscuit who found Folky Finella in Guildford and the Pee Wee for his bravery in the face of a remastering task to fuck all others.

The whole point of this recordings is really to laugh, and listen to the absurd mind of 70s British pornographers at work. For me, one of the best moments out of the many on Flexi Sex is the end of 'Tantalising Tina', where she actually starts having sex with her butch male friend, not. There's also a special Mary Millington recordings tagged onto the end of the CD. Mary has never been on CD before and this one one of the recordings that was released by Whitehouse just after she died - advertised as 'Her final Words' which of course they aren't. I wanted to put on her famous 'dildo' recording but it was impossible because she recorded it with Rod Stewart's 'If you think I'm sexy'' track loud in the background and I just couldn't get rid of it.

Derek writes: I unearthed some original flexi sex advertising. The text reads:

New Direction won't be long in coming up with its own treat on record. But in the meantime, these pictures of sensual Sally and then luscious Lucy give you some idea of what you'll find in uncensored Listen With Rustler 3 and Listen With Rustler 2. Lucy starts in LWR2 and Sally in LWR3. Look out for 'em or simply send a cheque or postal order for £1.50 to New Direction and we'll make sure Rustler sends you a copy of the one you want. But hurry-New Direction's only asked Rustler to put a limited number aside to help out naughty New Directors like yourself!

Jonny: Now the CD is available in digipack style, a first for the Trunk label. And the vinyl , well the vinyl has had an accident. It was supposed to be pressed on sexy pink vinyl. However, it has come back from the idiots who pressed it as what can only be described as a 'penis purple' in colour. It still looks great, but I may as well come clean and tell you the whole story because I think it's funny.

Now before you go any further an buy this little baby, I must warn you again that the content of this is very salacious, hardcore in fact, so don't buy it and then email me saying it's disgusting and you are offended. But rather like the stories written in jazz mags at the time, you just know none of it's true. Which makes them even worse, which is quite good really.