Review: Is the Satisfyer Satisfying?

What do you get the blogger who has everything?

When the Satisfyer team emailed me asking if I wanted to do a review of their toy, I’d already been retired from the reviewing game for several years.

There’s a certain point you reach as a blogger where you realize that you have more swag than you actually want or need.

So, I stopped reviewing, and I stopped getting emails, and my interest in toys completely dwindled. I leave it up to the hardened toy reviewers, the ones who always have a box waiting at their door.

Being out of the game for so long means that everything has changed. The top brands, the toy toys, the top functions. I’d never tried a toy marketed for clitoral suction before. I’d never tried an “oral sex toy” or a “sucking toy” before. Back when I was reviewing, such things didn’t really exist with any great popularity.

So here I am.

What does a toy like the Satisfyer do?

Satisfyer sent me the Satisfyer Pro 2, the Satisfyer Pro Penguin, and the Satisfyer 2. Satisfyer markets itself as a toy that will suck on your clitoris with vacuum technology to bring you to an orgasm in minutes.

Does the Satisfyer do what it says it does?

After fooling around with the whole line, I would say that the best way to describe the Satisfyer is a suction cup vibrator.

The soft molding on the head is meant to be pressed around your clitoris (or nipples, or neck, or wherever) to create gentle suction. It then pulsates gently (or less gently, depending on your choice of speed) until you tell it to stop. I found that the lightest setting was just barely noticeable and could be excellent for those who like edging (getting near climax and then backing off to increase the power of an orgasm.)

The higher settings feel more similar to your typical vibrator, and at times it can be difficult to really tell the difference. This toy is most unique at the lower settings. I did find that if you are usually sensitive to direct clitoral stimulation, this toy may be less of a problem. Applying direct pressure can often be uncomfortable if not downright painful, but the soft tip of these toys wrap around the actual head of the clitoris.

The toy is reliable, and if you are unaccustomed to clitoral-based vibrators or vibrators in general, I think this would be a good place to start. It may even be a good I’ve-never-had-an-orgasm-before toy with it’s subtle yet predictable stimulation.

How much does it cost?

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is $48.00 on Amazon, the Pro Penguin is $42.00 and the Satisfyer 2 is $28.00. These price points make any toy in this line fairly affordable for a mid-range toy budget.

Basic Specs

Pros

All three toys held very easily, but the Pro Penguin may be the best option for someone with small hands who finds larger toys to be a hassle.

The removeable heads of this non-penetrative toy are easy to clean and make cleaning your toy immediately after use a no-brainer.

Cons

Not particularly quiet.

Not a ton of information available on their website (where to buy)

Not tested for longevity

Given the cost of the toy and the general look and feel, it’s not a bad buy, and I’ll definitely be hanging on to mine. I would recommend selling out the couple extra bucks for the Satisfyer Pro 2 – it will set you up with the best of the line. The sleek design and more substantially cushioned tip at the end both appealed to me the most right out of the box, and I think it’s the star of the set.

These toys were provided at no cost by Satisfyer for review. Opinions are my own.

Looking for a new toy for yourself, or you + your partner? Let’s chat about what’s best for you and your needs! Head over to SheBop to browse Portland’s very own female friendly adult store.