SpankOut Day promotes discipline alternatives

Tuesday

Apr 29, 2008 at 12:01 AMApr 29, 2008 at 10:46 AM

In 23 countries, it is illegal for a parent to hit a child. In the United States, and more specifically in Massachusetts, there is no law that stops a parent from spanking their child, but some child protection agencies consider it a form of “corporal punishment” and want the disciplinary practice banned.

Deborah Allard

In 23 countries, it is illegal for a parent to hit a child. In the United States, and more specifically in Massachusetts, there is no law that stops a parent from spanking their child, but some child protection agencies consider it a form of “corporal punishment” and want the disciplinary practice banned.

The 10th anniversary of SpankOut Day USA will be observed Wednesday as a time to educate the public and promote effective, non-violent discipline alternatives to hitting.

To spank or not to spank is “such a touchy topic,” said Melissa Kachapis, a clinician at the Family Service Association in Fall River. Kachapis works with parents to find effective ways to discipline their children.

Kachapis said there are better ways to deal with a child’s bad behavior than resorting to physical discipline, whether that is with a whip, a belt or a hand.

“We see how that has affected children,” Kachapis said. “Emotionally, children suffer from physical abuse.”

SpankOut Day was initiated by the End Physical Punishment of Children program of the Center for Effective Discipline, a nonprofit organization.

Though the practice of hitting children has been banned in Massachusetts schools since 1971, the Center for Effective Discipline would like to ban corporal punishment of children in the home, too.

Though Kachapis does not condone hitting a child, she said she doesn’t necessarily believe that spanking should be banned, and could in some cases exacerbate an already bad situation between a parent and child.

She said she hears kids use the phrase: “Hit me again and I’ll call DSS.”
“As adults, we should look for other ways,” Kachapis said.

Parents can give children a "timeout" to calm themselves, and the parent might also consider giving themselves a timeout. Kachapis said it sometimes works to leave the room and ignore the negative behavior for a little while to gain a new perspective.
She said using physical violence is really only a way for the parent to express their own anger. “It doesn’t make anything better,” Kachapis said.

She suggested that parents increase their positive actions with their kids and use praise for good behavior.

Parents can also try to take something away from a child who is misbehaving. No video games for the day, or sending them to bed a half hour earlier can be effective, Kachapis said.

According to the Center for Effective Discipline, the parental practice of hitting children is declining in the United States.

Kachapis said she finds that to be true, too.

“I think people are still using it, but they’re less likely,” Kachapis said.

More and more parents are disciplining in other ways, by talking to their children, and offering choices and consequences for negative behaviors.

The Center for Effective Discipline claims that physical punishment tells a child that violence is OK and that it is acceptable to hit a person who is smaller and weaker.
This behavior can lead to fear, anger, and resentment, and can actually worsen the child’s behavior. Even more dangerous, hitting a child can border on child abuse. It is easy to hit too hard and cause bruises, broken bones, welts and nerve damage, according to the Center for Effective Discipline.

The center maintains that children have the same right as all other human beings to be free from physical harm.

The observance of SpankOut Day USA is modeled after the Great American Smokeout.

“Not all smokers die of lung cancer, and not all children who are hit for discipline are physically abused; however, both practices are harmful and need to be eliminated,” said Nadine Block, chairwoman of SpankOut Day USA.

For more information about using effective discipline, log-on to www.stophitting.org.