Troy’s been gone for a long, long time, but Troilus still loves Cressida. Well, though they haven’t dated for seven years, not since that strange and confounding year known as 2008, they were seen on Sunday night, post-V. A.s, doing that thing that only celebrities can do: canoodling. A move they must teach you at celebrity school—Fametown University, they call it—because no non-famous person knows how to canoodle. But Selena and Nick were definitely doing it, at Republic Records’s MTV Video Music Awards after-party at some joint in West Hollywood.

I didn't feel that I should go out of my way to be nice because I liked being nice. There are some women who want the nice guy because they understand that nice means good and not nice means bad. They aren't very open, keeping mostly to themselves – that's mysterious.

She'd met her husband through it and assured me I'd be an absolute stud online, as I'm charming and normal, as opposed to most of the men on mainstream dating sites."Online dating is great for people like you, Willard – it's like we've finally invented a pair of tight jeans for being funny, or a push-up bra for being intelligent," she said.