Hi. My name is Clark and this is my blog. My intent is to entertain and I'd like this to be more than "Clark And What Pisses Him Off" (although there will definitely be some of that) so I'll be posting some short humorous fiction as well. I hope you like it.
WARNING: Sometimes I will cuss. And I will also embellish facts (ie: lie) in the interest of making things funnier than they really are. Just so you know.

Monday, November 03, 2014

Much ado about 2

I've never smoked pot. Does the fact that I referred to it as 'pot' prove it? Because I don't even know what the officially sanctioned slang term is. Is it 'pot'? Maybe 'grass' or 'weed'? Don't answer that because I don't care.
On Tuesday, I'll have to vote yay or nay on Florida's Amendment Two, which is summarized as such:

"The Florida Right to Medical Marijuana Initiative, Amendment 2 is on the November 4, 2014 ballot in the state of Florida as an initiated constitutional amendment. The measure, upon voter approval, would legalize medical marijuana. Specifically, the measure would guarantee the following:

That medical use of marijuana by a qualifying patient or personal caregiver is not subject to criminal or civil liability or sanctions under state law.

That a licensed physician is not subject to criminal or civil liability or sanctions for issuing medical marijuana to a person diagnosed with a "debilitating medical condition" under state law.

That registered medical marijuana treatment centers are not subject to criminal or civil liability or sanctions under state law.

The measure defines a "debilitating medical condition" as cancer, multiple sclerosis, glaucoma, hepatitis C, HIV, AIDS, ALS, Crohn's disease, Parkinson's disease "or other conditions for which a physician believes that the medical use of marijuana would likely outweigh the potential health risks for a patient."
The Florida Department of Health would be responsible for regulating medical marijuana. The department would issue and regulate patient identification cards and personal caregiver identification cards, develop procedures related to medical marijuana treatment centers and institute regulations defining reasonable amounts of marijuana for medical use. The department would be required to protect the confidentiality of all patients.
The constitutional amendment contains six limitations on how the amendment's language can be construed:

The amendment does not “affect laws relating to non-medical use, possession, production or sale of marijuana.”

The amendment does not authorize “the use of medical marijuana by anyone other than a qualifying patient.”

The amendment does not allow for the “operation of a motor vehicle, boat, or aircraft while under the influence of marijuana.”

The amendment does not require accommodations for medical marijuana use “in any place of education or employment, or of smoking medical marijuana in any \public place.”

The amendment does not require “any health insurance provider or any government agency or authority to reimburse any person for expenses related to the medical use of marijuana.”

The amendment does not require “the violation of federal law or purports to give immunity under federal law.”

Supporters of Amendment 2 say the measure will help people with debilitating medical conditions. Opponents, on the other hand, argue the amendment is “de facto legalization" of marijuana.
For a referred amendment to win in Florida, it must win a supermajority vote of 60 percent of those voting on the question, according to Section 5 of Article XI. This change was made via Amendment 3 in 2006." - Ballotpedia.org

It all sounds pretty reasonable. A plant exists that can be processed and used to ease the suffering of people in pain. I'm pretty sure I can vote for that with a clear conscience. But every time I feel that way, the marijuana proponents start talking...

"It's better than booze or tobacco. In fact, it's actually good for you. It cures cancer and all other diseases. Plus you can use it to make rope and paper. Just think of all the jobs that will be created. Legalizing it would save the entire US economy!"

Shut up, stoners. Shut up. Shut your stupid mouths. You and your unbridled enthusiasm for your stupid hobby. Fuck you and James Franco and Seth Rogan and your terrible movies that can only be appreciated by people who are stoned and giggling like lunatics every time somebody mentions "munchies" or the number "420" is referenced, regardless of context. You don't care about making rope or paper and you don't give a shit about sick people. You're desensitized to mom and dad giving you a hard time about the non-addictive habit you started in junior high school and now that you're 35 or older, you just don't want to get in trouble for it and you see this issue as your golden ticket. Save it or at least admit the truth.
Seriously, I hate those people. And it's not even an insult to call them stupid. They like being stupid. They strive for it. Their fondest memories are of the times when the stupidest things happen. These are people who are happiest when they can use the phrase "fucked up" to describe themselves. Who else does that? We don't look at somebody who works hard and takes care of their family and say, "wow, she is profoundly fucked up!" We don't walk into a barber shop and say, "go ahead and fuck up how my head looks." We don't sit back after a satisfying meal, pat our stomachs and say, "Mm-mm! Now that was fucked up!" Stoners, though, are all about getting fucked up and being fucked up to the extent that it's basically all they talk about.
Let me be clear; I'm not talking about everybody who smokes marijuana. Hell, at this point, it's such a mainstream thing that by sheer popularity, it probably should just be legal across the board. In which case, who gives a damn? As long as you're not hurting other people, I believe you have the right to do your thing. No, I'm talking about the in-your-face evangelical types, with their t-shirts and bumper stickers, who are as disingenuous and dishonest as their fear-mongering opponents (by the way, I don't believe a word of their nonsense either). Those people should go smoke themselves.

I guess the bottom line is that I so strongly dislike those people that I really don't want to do anything that makes them happy. That means I'm probably going to vote Yes but I don't feel entirely great about it. I have a feeling that sentiment is going to pop up in a lot of elections over the next couple of years.

CBS Tampa's Most Valuable Blogger Award 2011 Winner

Who's this guy?

Originally from Benton Harbor, Michigan, I have lived in the Tampa Bay area for over 20 years now. I am a published writer with numerous internet columns, magazine articles and a documentary film credit. I've also done professional announcing and acting. I like to make fun of stupid people in positions of authority when they do stupid things. While that implies that I think I'm somehow superior to them, nothing could be further from the truth.