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Sunday, April 15, 2012

I just want to take a moment to thank everyone for reading my blog! I have gotten so many friendly and supportive comments! Thank you all so much! It really means a lot to me. It reminds me that I am not alone in this and that maybe, just maybe, I am helping someone else to realize the same thing.

Monday, April 9, 2012

It is so very frustrating because I have no idea how in the world I actually need helped.

My feelings as of right now consist mostly of feeling ashamed, embarrassed, and confused.

I guess I have been confused all along, but now I think I am ready to start to confront my confusion and try to bring it to a halt.

I want to begin by saying that lately I have been hanging out with a guy. We both like each other. He keeps telling me that he doesn't want a relationship. I know that I am not being treated right. He takes advantage of my personality and my love. He makes no time for me and only texts or calls when he wants to make out. (Which I have finally been able to do since the abuse. Yay!) I know in my heart that it is wrong for me to let him treat me this way. I deserve to be treated like the princess that I am!

This whole situation makes my head spin. I am confused about how I am supposed to feel about this and how it relates to my relationship with my mom and the abuse. I am just so confused.

I also feel so ashamed about all of this. I feel as though I should know better than to get myself in a situation like this.

I just wish that someone could help me. I asked my best friend for advice but she shot back at me what I always tell her when she asks for advice. "When you ask for advice you already know the answer you want to hear. You will keep asking for advice until you get your answer."

I need to learn how to sort out my feelings. I need to keep my feelings associated with the abuse away from the rest of my everyday life. That seems to work best for me right now.

Until I can figure some of this out, I am going to have to continue feeling confused, ashamed, and embarrassed.