Stella suffers through the night, even the day. During the dark hours, she feels lost in a colourless world, but what happens when she finds something magical in such a place? A/N: Contest entry
for the Review Chain House.

Submitted: August 03, 2018

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Submitted: August 03, 2018

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Inner Struggles

White, that was all Stella saw, from the walls to the food that was given to her every day. Even the hair that fell around her sitting
form was the colour of snow. To her, everything was a colourless pallet. With a simple glance, the painting was picturesque, showing people the beauty, they wanted to see. Those who looked harder,
however, saw the cracks that lay hidden underneath. People try to ignore it, to see it as something more, but really, she knew better. She was one of those the world tore apart. In the darkness of
her own room, she felt caged within her own mind. As she pressed her back tightly against the headboard of her bed, her gaze drifted to her dainty hands, pale like everything else she saw. In the
silence, she wrapped her arms around her knees, rocking back and forth. Such a motion comforted her when she was unable to sleep. Outside, she was seen as weak, frail, inside, she was torn between
what was real and what was not. Nightmares, that was what they called them, yet they felt so real.

Stella struggled with another restless night. The thoughts and unwanted memories eating away at her. People talked to her in a tone that
was meant for the three-year-old, sweet and full of lies, hiding the ugly truth. She knew there was something wrong with her, yet they kept telling her it was all going to be okay. They gave her
prescription, forced her to take it, but still, she refused to sleep. They said it would help her, but she knew better. They did not care. It was all lies, lies. In a world of nothing, she had lost
hope to feel normal. She whimpered to herself. It was painful to think about, but she could not distract herself. Sinking into her bed, she lay there, staring up at the plain ceiling. Her big green
eyes held so much sadness, searching for light within the darkness. Nothing, nothing but emptiness. Her side of the world had long since fallen asleep, yet she remained alert of even the slightest
movement. A curfew put on the city kept all doors shut and locked. It was the only reason she was not out, walking in the moonlight to distract her mind. They say danger lurks at night, yet all she
could hear was an owl hoot from outside her window.

Sitting up, she contemplated leaving anyway. Surely the curfew was just an overreaction, a precaution put in place after a few got mauled
by a rabid dog. While the beast was never found, that was the rumours that had spread. The response to such an accident was insane and unorthodox, just because of a crazed animal on the loose. The
chance of it showing up exactly as she stepped outside was unlikely, to say the least. She nodded to herself, deciding she was going to take the chance anyway. The feeling of being trapped had her
on edge. Swinging her legs over the side of her bed, she stood up and sluggishly moved towards her closet. Pulling out some trousers and a plain t-shirt, she slipped them on as well as her shoes.
She then grabbed her jacket before walking out the door. Her parents told her, never leave home without one. Maybe they thought she was prone to the cold and would get sick easily, but it had
become a habit in time. Sneaking through the house, the last thing she wanted was to accidentally wake someone. Approaching the front door, she unlocked it.

Once outside, Stella could feel the brisk breeze brush against her pale skin. Wrapping her arms around her small body, her gaze surveyed
the empty streets. She began to walk, the constant silence growing eerier by the second. She expected to see something, anything, but even the birds were hidden out of sight, like they knew
something she did not. She stumbled, catching herself before she fell. She straightened up, exhaling a sigh. Before she continued on, she glanced around. A noise from somewhere caught her
attention. It broke through the silence, clear as day, voices. Frantically searching, she still saw no one. Frowning, she began walking again, this time heading towards the sounds. She rounded a
corner, freezing in her tracks. Her eyes fell upon an animal, with matted black fur, shiny like oil. Its big eyes were red, narrowed as it stalked its way forward. Baring its fangs in a snarl, the
beast was larger than any dog she had ever seen, yet it appeared to be some sort of canine. It had its attention focused on its prey. Following its gaze, she noticed a man, cornered with his back
against the wall of a building. With his arms raised, he was determined to fight. His eyes glowed a fiery orange-red.

Stella stared at the two, eyes wide in disbelief. Without a clue on what to do, she decided it was best to leave. Stepping back, she
tripped over her own feet. Falling over, she landed on her back. She whimpered in pain, slowly pushing herself to sit up. Looking over at the two, she noticed their attention was focused on her.
The man had an expression of shock, almost panic, while the beast turned to her. With no time to react, the animal charged at her. She curled over, pointlessly shielding her eyes. For a moment, she
lay there, shaking uncontrollably. Vicious snarling filled the air, yet she felt no pain. Eventually, she chanced a look, lifting her head. The wolf-like creature was on the floor, another standing
over it, baring its sharp teeth, blood dripping from them. It glanced up, over to where the man stood, then turned its head in Stella’s direction. Gradually, it began to change, its oily black fur
retreating into its body, bones cracking as it turned into something almost completely unrecognisable from its previous form

Stella stared over to where the beast once stood. In its place, was a human, a man. He straightened up, turning to her. The only thing
that remained the same, was the deep red eyes. With the back of his hand, he wiped the blood from his mouth. “Hey,” he began with a slight smile, looking down at her. He held out his hand. “Are you
alright?”

Hesitantly, she took a hold of his hand and allowed him to help her to her feet. Her knees shook under the sudden shift of weight, so she
held onto him for support. She remained silent, her gaze drifting from his dark red eyes to the man who still stood by the wall of the nearby building. Slowly, he began to approach and when both
guys stood side by side, the one who held onto her, preventing her from falling, smiled. “My name is David,” he began and then gestured to the man beside him, “and this is Zach.

“Wha…” Stella tried to speak but struggled to comprehend what was happening. Her gaze flicked between the two, her mind reeling from what
she had seen. Staring up into the eyes of David, she noticed they faded to a normal brown, while Zach’s had remained the same. She shook her head, wondering if it was all just another nightmare. It
seemed too real though and they all usually ended the same, with her dying. That did not happen, however, for this time, she was saved. Looking at them, she began to see a little splash of colour
in the plain painting she called the world. “What are you?” she finally asked, slightly afraid to hear the answer, and yet, oddly enough, these two did not frighten her.

David hesitated in answering. He glanced over at Zach. “He’s a phoenix,” Looking back at Stella, he smiled at her expression, mouth
partly open in shock, “and I’m…” he paused, unable to continue. Something worried him like whatever he was about to say would send her running the opposite direction.

For a moment, she stared up at him, wondering what it was that made him so sceptical to tell her. “A werewolf?” she guessed. He shook his
head. “Hmm,” she pondered, “a Hellhound?” It was something she thought much too farfetched, but what else looked like that. Ever since she was little, she enjoyed the fantasy world. Now that she
was witnessing it first hand, she felt like none of it could possibly be real, a dream and nothing more.

“Actually,” David began.

“No way,” Stella whispered, her eyes wide in disbelief, “and you two are out here because?”

“Because,” Zach spoke up, “me and my brother here, came to take out a rouge Hellhound.”

“Brother?” Stella asked.

“Not by blood,” David replied, “more like a spiritual bond. We are very close friends, and have been ever since we first met.”

Stella smiled at them. These two were the real-life fantasy she wanted in her plain painting, the ones who can cover up the cracks no
matter how visible. After their meeting, they kept in touch and with their support, she would soon learn that despite the troubles and nightmares, someone was always waiting for her. While she
loved her parents, there was nothing quite like an escape from everyday struggles. They offered her this, and so much more. It was the start of something amazing, something she could never have
imagined.

so where to start with this story. it started off with a great, description of how life for her, stella, was so stripped down and colorless, something she wanted to change so badly. to experience a life with colors all around, yet she was stuck in a bland, tasteless pallet.
you could really feel her yearning to leave the world she was stuck in.

it leads into the next portion with her talking about the nightmares, things that keep her awake at night, struggling with whats real and whats not. that straying into a false reality that haunts her thoughts. that these pills they had her taking, were really just messing her mind up even more. and she knew all of this. yet without her own way of escaping completely, she was forced to take her little victories.

Then we get to her going for a stroll in the darkness of her town, well after curfew, her only real escape from her nightmares and colorless life. where she encounters two very mysterious spiritual brothers, David and Zach. one a Phoenix, the other a Hellhound, sent out after a rogue hellhound. and through this chance meeting, she met two people that would help her through her difficult, nightmarish life. a sort've escape into a reality she wanted to be a part of.

this story really speaks the truth to how mental illnesses can feel, depression, anxiety and many more that people suffer from. many spend their days locked in a prison, whether it be in their own mind, or in someone elses entirely, while still remaining in their own body. yet some out there are able to find a solace, a place of serenity in the form of another person(s) that can help them feel accepted, free and able to be themselves. a way for them to express their full color to a bland and cold painting that sits on their souls wall.

this was an excellent foray into this difficult and crazy world of mental illness and the people who suffer through it. amazing story as always Shada! :D

AuthorReply

Comment | 105 words

Sun, August 5th, 2018 8:40pm

Thank you so much :D You have no idea how much this means to me.
I am glad you liked the starting description, haha. It took me a bit to figure out the angle I was looking for, but I’m happy I decided to go with this :)
This was a wonderful, thoughtful comment, one that means the world to me.
Such illnesses can be devastating, but I guess I liked to have a happy note, especially for a sort of dark subject. Through the hard times, there is hope.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave this comment :D

Oh my gosh, this was simply amazing. I loved how you captured the imagery, by putting minor details to get us a picture where poor Stella is at. I'm going to guess a mental ward. The inner dialogue of thoughts convey her as a character so well. I liked her inner turmoil by being blank as canvas and feeling no color full of life. My mind went to many places because I really want to know more about these nightmares. I wondered if she's schizophrenia, given tot hearing the voices. Even PTSD, bc I used to have nightmares as part of the disorder. You made my mind go a mile a minute when the daunting of a wild animal on the loose. Then she meets David and Zach. A phoenix and a hellhound. I wonder if they were real or is it all in her head? However, I am so thankful, thanks to those boys. It seems she's getting better, a bright painted picture she always wanted comes to life in her eyes. Even if they're fantasy or not. Sometimes, a fantasy is a ticket to reality. This was just a wonderful piece, good job!

AuthorReply

Comment | 119 words

Tue, August 7th, 2018 8:48pm

Thank you so much for reading. Originally, it started out as a mental ward sort of idea, but it strayed from that in the end. I feel maybe she's a bit of both, schizophrenia and PTSD.
I quite enjoyed writing the starting of this, trying my hardest to paint the picture I wanted. I am happy you liked it :D
Those guys are amazing :D I know them personally, having met them on Booksie, and had to include them as a symbol for what I was after when writing this, and as a way to thank them for being my friends. Sometimes, it does feel like a fantasy, when you've got such amazing friends :)
Thank you again for reading :)

This remains me of the game Rain. A beautiful game about a boy who escapes into another world to save a girl from a monster. The world is always raining, and they are invisible, and the rain will only give them ghostly features. It's like going from a normal world into a painting of fantasy. The difference between this and Rain is the story, but it's that escape into fantasy that makes them similar. I love Rain, so I gave you a good comparison there.

I see your stories are taking a more realism approach to fantasy, and that is making you explore. I like how minimal this is, especially the beginning. She is stuck in a black and white painting, where she cannot add colour, so the portrait cannot change. She is stuck in nightmares, and the painting of nightmares is always black.

Next comes the Rain moment of being in a different place. Meeting David and Zach, two pieces of fantasy that are an escape from a colourless world. This adds colour to her painting, even if it is all in her head. I believe she suffers from some illness, so painting this mythical lore allows her to create something that cannot be real, but it is a place she can go to.

This is a brilliant story. I admire the minimal approach, and your descriptions are some of the best I have seen from you. You should be proud of this.

AuthorReply

Comment | 61 words

Thu, August 9th, 2018 3:11pm

That sounds like an awesome game, and I do love the comparison :D
I enjoyed writing this, the approach I took and the ways I got across what I was after, through what I wrote.
Sometimes, we all need that fantasy, an escape of some sort.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I am very happy you liked it :)

Great work. Your main character is sympathetic, and her need to escape is compelling. I feel like you have touched on a resonating topic with the conflict of inner and outer worlds. I do think the ending seems a bit rushed. Is this "the start of something" in terms of more pieces in Stella's story? It feels more like a call to adventure than any kind of resolution. If the brothers represent "a splash of color" then when does the canvas get covered in layers of color? You clearly have talent. I think you could do better than a splash :)

Thank you for sharing your work,

H.P.

AuthorReply

Comment | 59 words

Tue, August 14th, 2018 11:59pm

Thank you for your opinion. Yeah, the ending wasn't my best. Quite often, they turn out that way, haha. I need to work on it, but since it was for a contest with a limited amount of time and a word limit, it does get challenging sometimes.
Anyway, thank you again for taking the time to read and comment :)

Truth to be told, I'm not a fan of fantasy but this story right here, there's just something that draws me to it just by the first paragraph. You're a great writer, that's for sure. The way you kept up the momentum in the story made me stick to it and finish it. The details and the imagery is also splendid and I love how you crafted the story to it's finish. With the main character having signs of depression or insomnia, and having witnessed two out-of-this-world creatures, she created herself this little world of fantasy that's not so much of a fantasy at all. I simply love this creative plot. Excellent work on this!

AuthorReply

Comment | 54 words

Sun, November 4th, 2018 6:45pm

Wow, thank you :D I'm very glad you enjoyed it even if you're not a fan of fantasy :D It's definitely a little different to what I usually write, but it was fun all the same, and I'm happy you liked the read. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment :D

I really enjoyed reading this. Your descriptions, especially at the beginning were great and really showed the struggles that Stella's going through. I loved the end and how meeting these two new friends helped her, and I liked that these two were a bit different from just people. It added a nice touch to it. Considering the shortness of these, there were a lot of different elements, but it didn't seem overloaded and instead it all added to the story. It was a great read.

AuthorReply

Comment | 23 words

Tue, December 25th, 2018 3:42pm

Thank you so much :D I’m very happy you enjoyed my story and I’m glad it didn’t seem overloaded :D