Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Winter caught up to me in a big way this week. I’d been doing fairly well combating the yearly seasonal depression, but I’ve lost some ground to it these last couple of days. It has helped that we’ve had a very low snow year; seeing green outside is uplifting, even when the skies are grey and the wind is stiff and bitter, but the cold has been frustrating. I have found it distressing this year to have to do things in the cold. The thought of going up to my unheated office to lift weights or ride shuts me down. I dread having to take the garbage outside. Even taking the laundry downstairs (which necessitates going out the back door) has required an internal conversation like Trinity has in Matrix.

“Get up, Trinity. Get up!”

Now the air is pregnant with a winter storm. You can feel the closeness and almost muffled nature of things that subtly but unmistakably announces the coming of snow. Perhaps, on some molecular level, I knew this was coming. Perhaps my psyche, which has managed to maintain a fragile equilibrium with the season, now realizes that it cannot maintain balance in the face of nature. Perhaps I’m just really ready for some sun, some warm and some quiet time in both.