Local Counselling Centre Blog Archive

I have been told I will not need surgery and will have hormone injections and radiotherapy. The Doctor mentioned side effects like the menopause but I am not sure I understand what is meant. Can you clarify? When you were offered hormone therapy somebody should have explained to you the side effects to expect. Usually, a specialist nurse will go through the pros and cons of the treatment so you know what to expect. A detailed information sheet is usually given as well. If you did not have any of these then you should ask why not?

The first step in overcoming anxiety is to understand what it is and to do that we need to know a bit about the brain. In simplistic terms, the brain is made up of ‘old’ and ‘new’ parts. The ‘old brain’ part, our primitive reptilian brain and our limbic system, developed first. The systems of the old part are located towards the centre or our brains and they drive our survival responses, emotions and instincts. The ‘new brain’ system, the neocortex, is only a couple of million years old. It allows us to plan, imagine, analyse and make judgements...

Even as a mental health professional I have never fully understood why we separate mental and physical health, never mind why, as a nation, our resources are not equally distributed between the two health camps. It is well known that mental health has always been a poor second cousin to physical health, both literally in terms of allocation of NHS funds and in public awareness. I’ve lost count of how many times a client has said they would swap their ‘mental’ health condition for a broken leg, diabetes or some other ‘physical’ illness...

18 months ago, out of the blue, my friend Sam developed an acute depression. While he had no history of depression, work stress and an illness tipped him into a severe depression. Normally a gregarious person, he became withdrawn, started to isolate himself and stopped taking care of his appearance. Thankfully Sam had a good network of friends who recognised he was in difficulty and stepped in to help him get the help and support he badly needed; but not everyone is so lucky...

Sue worked in the NHS. She had worked there for many years, in a very stressful job. Sue was married with two ‘stroppy’ teenage children, as well as going through a difficult demanding time with elderly parents. Gradually, she found she wasn't coping anymore. She was going home in tears, getting angry over nothing, colleagues where avoiding her, her manager told her in a meeting that she was becoming very difficult. However, despite all this she still thought she was ok. She helped others, she didn't need help herself...

Earlier is the year we offered you the opportunity to put your questions about breast reconstruction following mastectomy to Miles Dickson, Consultant Plastic & Reconstructive Surgeon at East & North Herts NHS Trust. Miles is a Fellow Royal College of Surgeons and a Member of The British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons, and works alongside two local breast surgeons carrying out breast reconstruction surgery for women who have had undergone the trauma of treatment for breast cancer...

Originally a Christian tradition of visiting your ‘mother’ church on the fourth day of Lent, Mothering Sunday has now become synonymous with the US based tradition of honouring actual mothers of children. Like all national celebration days it elicits a range of responses, from the cynical view that this is just another marketing opportunity to part us from our hard earned cash, to the potential delight in planning a special treat for a much loved mum...

On the surface these two terms seem to be the same and, for many people, are interchangeable. For some, however, they most definitely are not the same, especially when used in day to day language. I am one of those people for whom the language surrounding these two terms is important and I hope to be able to explain my reasons why in this short piece...

You've known for some time that you don't feel as you should. Maybe friends, family and colleagues are beginning to notice a difference in you. Maybe you have been to the doctor with aches pains for which he can find no obvious cause? You know somewhere deep inside yourself that you need some help. Maybe your doctor or friends have said try counselling, maybe your boss has suggested you need it. However, where do you go, when, what will it be like, how often?

The hearts are out, romance cards are in the shops, restaurant menus are up and full of promise and the overpriced red roses are appearing in abundance………yes it is Valentines Day 2014. Though many of us “tutt” about the over commercialism of the day, for many couples this is an important day that allows them to share and affirm their special relationship by the giving of gifts and love tokens...

For most of us becoming a grandparent is a wonderful experience and one that we long for so we can share the milestones in the developing childs life. However, barely a week passes when I do not have either a grandparent or parent in my consulting room, because they are finding the relationship problematic and traumatic...

EFT is a form of Energy Psychology. It is often referred to as ‘tapping therapy’ as the process involves gently tapping on meridian energy points on the body whilst focussing on an emotional issue and repeating phrases that describe it. When working with a practitioner, the practitioner forms the phrases on behalf of the client and the client repeats them back...

In the UK 55,000 women a year are diagnosed with breast cancer. At LCC we are often approached by women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer and who are undergoing treatment. Often they are seeking psychological support and a space to consider their treatment options with a person who is outside their immediate family, and so neutral...

My background is in Hotel Management in 4 star hotels. This has meant that I have extremely high standards when it comes to cleanliness and being a people pleaser. I like to resolve problems before they arise but if they happen before I can fix them then I will go above and beyond to rectify things whatever the matter may be. I will then attempt to see what else could happen and put that right too...

It has been 12 months since I started my placement with LCC and saw my first client and it has been both an exciting and challenging part of my journey towards accreditation as a contemporary psychotherapist. Contemporary psychotherapy is a pluralistic approach to therapy that incorporates what is useful to the individual client and does not remain within a fixed modality...

The tree is down and the kids are on the way back to school, Christmas in over! We have shopped until we dropped, cooked for the masses and probably had a few tense family moments along the way. At the end of all of it we have little to show for it all but a few extra pounds around the middle, a mammoth hangover, a credit card on max and a long list of New Year resolutions, the first one being to do something about Christmas stress!

For many of us Christmas is a chaotically busy time of year that sees us juggle work and family demands, alongside trying to organise catering that would not be out of place on Master Chef; only to collapse in a haze of exhaustion the day after Boxing Day. However, please spare a thought for the older folk in our community. Did you know that almost a quarter of a million older people will spend Christmas Day alone this year? Bereavement, poor health, loss of confidence and change in family demographics will all contribute to this very sad toll...

The advent Calendar is being opened, the shops are full of tinsel and Noddy Holder is blaring from every speaker……….here we go again it is Christmas! We will all now endure supermarkets bursting with irritable shoppers stocking up as if the shops were to be closed for a week, panic about presents, arguments with relatives, and exhaustion having tried to prepare a meal that would do Nigella proud.

For me the single most important predictor for client recovery from OCD is their ability to separate OCD from themselves, to see that OCD is a condition that they are suffering with, not who they actually are. This idea is captured by London Artist, Steve Caplin’s sculpture of the OCD Bully, which featured recently on the excellent Channel 4 series, Bedlam...

Christmas can be a fun time of the year and as the office party looms, thoughts about attending can range from excitement and wanting to really get involved, to absolute dread. Perhaps because you are not a party person, but need to be seen to attend and be a team player, or maybe because of a past bad experience. All of the above can lead us to depend more on alcohol to either get us in the mood, or get us through.

I recently had the privilege of meeting two mothers who were visiting Thailand to support their daughters, who were facing a profound and life changing experience. I was deeply affected by the stories that these mothers told me. “What’s so strange about this?” you may ask. Well, both daughters were identified at birth as boys and had been brought up as such. Now they were about to undergo Sex Reassignment Surgery, which would permanently alter their physical appearance and give each the female body they so desired, in order to be true to their own gender awareness...

One of the things that came up when I was teaching on the Trauma Diploma last week was the similarity between the way people can experience traumatic memories and anxious thoughts. It is well known that traumatic memories can be experienced as flash images or movies in the mind. This is a typical feature of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. What is less well known is that for some people, anxious thoughts are seen in the mind as pictures or movies...

The belief to trump all beliefs, about people with disabilities, is that we have more important things to worry about, more important things to focus on, than being sexual. Sex is part of our culture, yet for people with disabilities, and other minority groups, sex is considered a luxury we can ill afford. So how is it that sex is so ingrained as something normal and natural in our general culture...

As I write, I am reflecting on the wonderful day I had on Friday I spent the morning teaching on a Trauma Diploma and my subject was OCD and Trauma. The first pleasure was being with a group of mental health professionals, all women in this case, who were so obviously committed to finding the best ways to support their clients. I love the way that people in my profession are so driven to keep learning new ways to help their clients...

As I write, I am reflecting on the wonderful day I had on Friday I spent the morning teaching on a Trauma Diploma and my subject was OCD and Trauma. The first pleasure was being with a group of mental health professionals, all women in this case, who were so obviously committed to finding the best ways to support their clients. I love the way that people in my profession are so driven to keep learning new ways to help their clients...

As an ex-health visitor I appreciate that breast milk is the optimum food for young babies, and where it is possible breast-feeding is desirable. However, I am truly stunned by the Government’s latest incentive i.e. the Department of Health’s project to offer financial incentive to mothers who breast-feed. Leaving aside the puerile nature of this star chart for Mothers, how will this farcical fantasy be policed?

Julie Sale, UKCP Registered Psychotherapist and Operations Director of LCC writes the first blog in a series of her work with OCD. Can you imagine ever telling anyone that every time you use a knife you get a flash image in your mind of stabbing someone with it? Can you imagine what life would be like if you feared that you would contaminate anyone you touched and cause their death or that if you touched anything you will be contaminated and die?

It is always assumed that weight loss will make people happy and give them, not only a great body, but also a fabulous relationship. The reality however is far from true as often the weight loss disturbs the balance of the relationship.

It is always assumed that weight loss will make people happy and give them, not only a great body, but also a fabulous relationship. The reality however is far from true as often the weight loss disturbs the balance of the relationship.

Today I have been ruminating that in life we all deal with events that happen to us differently, and it is not always the events that shape us, but our individual responses to them. Yesterday, I went to visit my friend Sheila. Six weeks ago on a bright sunny day, her only child Laura was killed outright in a car crash. She was 27 and had her life in front of her. Laura was also my daughter Annie’s best friend from childhood. I was aware that I had subconsciously been putting this visit off for some days...

October 2013: October is the month dedicated to raising awareness of the most common cancer in women and the second leading cause of cancer deaths globally – Breast Cancer. One aspect of the disease rarely discussed is its impact on the intimate relationships of those it affects with research revealing women with Breast cancer experience lower levels of sexual satisfaction and more difficulty maintaining their sexual life...

Exciting new evidence has revealed more proof that lifestyle can influence the course of cancer and help with many of the side effects of treatments: Exercise - People who exercise regularly have a lower risk of developing cancer. After a diagnosis >30 minutes, 3-4 hours a week reduces fatigue, improves mood, psychological well being and body composition. Other trials have linked exercise with a reduce rate of progression and risk of relapse after radical treatments have completed.

Our bodies and minds are profoundly inter-related. Neuroscience research tells us that our thoughts are governed by our emotions, which are, in turn, grounded in our bodies. If we can learn to explore the emotional content of our physical symptoms, even understand their purpose perhaps, we are more likely to be able to self-manage them. Our emotional distress, such as when we are fearful, anxious or depressed often disconnects us from others. We are told that these feelings mean we are unwell in our mental health, in our minds.

This year during Men’s Health Week we are looking at prostate cancer. At LCC we are often consulted by men who have been diagnosed with prostate cancer and who are concerned. Many worry about the effect this will have, not only on their health, but also on their relationship and sex life. In the UK, about 1 in 8 men (13 per cent) will get prostate cancer at some point in their lives. The risk increases with age, with the majority of men affected being over 50 and the average age of diagnosis being 70-74 years.

Today my lovely friend Chris dropped in unexpectedly and I was shocked to see how drawn and upset she looked. Over a cup of tea the tears began to “trip her” as she explained how bereft she was feeling about her daughter leaving for her first term at University. “I feel so selfish as she is full of beans and so happy and has worked so hard to get into the course she dreamt of”. So is my friend a selfish Mother? No of course she is not, but she is a Mum who is coming to terms with life changes and the so-called “Empty Nest Syndrome”.

When I was asked to reflect upon training sex and relationship therapists over many years I cast my mind back to my own training. In my working life I have journeyed from being an art therapist, to social worker, to joint investigation trainer (police/social services) to psychotherapist and group therapist and then arrived at St. George’s Hospital for an interview to become a sex & relationship psychotherapist. I had many years’ experience of running women’s groups, single sex and mixed survivor groups and working in the field of sexual abuse and molestation.

Since March 2014 same sex marriage has been lawful in the UK and it would appear that civil ceremonies are more likely than religious ceremonies. Although the arguments against same sex relationships within the church are lessening, there is still strong opinion against this. The Office for National Statistics has advised that in England and Wales, between March 29th and June 30th 2014, there were 1409 same sex marriages, of which 796 (or 56%) were female couples.

Divorce is a very difficult and painful experience for the couple involved, but for the children of the couple the experience can be overwhelming and hard to understand. Children need the support and love of both parents to give them the best chance of a secure and stable up bringing; so as the adults involved in this situation, you need to be strong and put your hurt feeling with each other to one side to enable you to be supportive of your children and re-configure your family life. Your children need both of you and regular contact.

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” This was stated by Mother Theresa when reflecting on her work with the destitute. Perhaps we might reflect on this ourselves in the light of information that has emerged recently about loneliness in Britain, particularly amongst older men. New research predicts that the number of men aged 65 or more living by themselves in England will rise by 65% sparking concerns for the prospect of a lonely old age for a generation of pensioners.

Losing a relationship can be a very traumatic experience, even if you are the partner who calls time on the relationship. Often the longer you have been together the more difficult this can be, as greater attachment bonds have formed...

As I wave my adult son (27) off to start his new career, following his return to our home to complete 3 years of postgraduate study, I am aware of a sense of great sadness and loss, mixed with utter relief and joy that this stage has ended. With ever increasing house prices and frozen mortgage provision more children are now seeking to return home, with recent statistics revealing that over 3 million over 50’s still have grown up children living at home...