Dianne Williamson: Family's idyllic life takes dramatic turn

Tuesday

Dec 5, 2017 at 3:00 AMDec 6, 2017 at 12:22 PM

Paul White, one of the nicest men I’ve had the privilege to know, fell in love with Amsterdam after visiting the city on a high school class trip.

The hockey star from Worcester Academy fantasized about someday skating up and down the winding canals in the winter, unaware that they rarely froze. It didn’t matter, though. Twenty-five years ago, he moved to Amsterdam anyway and fell in love with a flight attendant from the Netherlands named Suzanne Hers. The couple bought a pretty row house in the small, picturesque city of Haarlem and started a family. They had three sons, a windmill outside their door and a life anyone would envy.

All of it would change in an instant. On Nov. 1, Paul got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. In the dark, he took a single misstep on the steep, narrow staircase and plunged 10 feet into a wall. His oldest son heard the crash and found his father unconscious, lying in a pool of blood.

The 60-year-old Worcester native broke his neck and is paralyzed from the chest down. Four days later, just as the family was reeling from their new reality, Suzanne was diagnosed with breast cancer and had her first round of chemotherapy last week.

“Of course the situation is bad and I feel very sad about it,” Suzanne told me Monday. “But I’m surrounded by loving friends and family. Paul is struggling but he’s still positive and I’m so proud of him right now … He’s so accepting and he hasn’t complained once. I find that amazing.”

One of seven siblings born to a Worcester physician, Paul played hockey and rugby at the University of Notre Dame and graduated in 1978 with a degree in accounting. He began a lucrative career at Price Waterhouse in Boston, but quickly grew disillusioned with the corporate world and moved to Dublin for two years to help a priest from Notre Dame start a big brother/big sister program in a poor section of the city.

I knew Paul years ago through mutual friends from Newton Square and was struck by his generosity of spirit, his eagerness to embrace everyone around him and draw them in to his wide circle. That lifelong optimism has served him well since the accident, even as he endured a frightening bout of double pneumonia last month that left him gasping for breath.

“He’s a fighter and he’s so determined,” said his brother, Greg White of Boylston, who flew to the Netherlands after the accident. “I’m amazed at his spirit. He’s just happy to be alive.”

Unable to speak after being hooked to a ventilator, Paul used an alphabet board to communicate: “I am happy,” he said, blinking out the letters. “I have my family with me.”

For Suzanne, the hardest part of the ordeal was breaking the news of her cancer to her sons, ages 19, 16 and 14, who were still struggling with the shock that their strong, burly dad can no longer walk. Now an independent midwife, Suzanne was delivering a baby when her son called to break the news about his father's fall. Her career is on hold, and she's not insured for this type of event.

“We’ve always been good and steady parents for the boys,” said Suzanne. “Life seemed so stable. Then this happens and it’s like a house of cards that collapsed.”

She remembers Paul’s response when she told him about the cancer.

“We need to fight this battle and we will,” he told her. “We have to be good examples for our boys. We have to try not to worry about the things we can’t control.” He also told his wife they’ve had a “damn good life so far.”

Doctors aren’t optimistic that Paul will walk again, but it’s too soon to know. He’s still hospitalized and hopes to move soon to a rehabilitation facility. His brother, Greg, said he's convinced Paul will recover.

For now, though, the couple is focused on small victories. Paul is no longer coughing constantly and can breathe easier. He drank lemonade through a straw. The man who once dreamed of gliding over frozen waterways is in the fight of his life, but grateful for his blessings and hopeful about whatever the future holds.

“I do think things happen for a reason,” Suzanne said. “I haven’t found a reason for this one yet, but hopefully we’ll be stronger for it.”

Greg White has started a GoFundMe account for his brother that has raised more than $100,000. To donate, go to www.gofundme.com/PaulWhiteRecovery

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