TIFU by texting my pregnant wife that "this isn't working"

My wife posted earlier today on LA about this. Not using my main because my FIL knows it and I'm not quite ready to tell him about this.

I went to work today and turned my phone off as usual. I had almost 30 missed texts and calls from my pregnant wife when I turned it on. Most of them were asking how I could do this. I had no clue what she was talking about. She didn't answer any of my calls back.

I got home and she was packing up to leave. I'll admit it, I cried. A lot. Had no clue what was happening or what I did. Finally, it comes out that I texted her that I wanted a divorce. She showed me the text and I immediately realize what happened.

This morning, a free standing mirror for our bedroom was delivered. I texted her "the new mirror came in! I'm going to try to put it together but I may need your help later". I had trouble putting it together and eventually gave up. I texted her, "this isn't working, and at this point I think I need to just give up". Apparently, the first text didn't go through, just the second one. So my pregnant wife panicked for a few hours while I was off thinking everything was great. She even called a divorce lawyer.

Things are fine now but she's still crying off and on. She told me we can laugh about it tomorrow.

TL;DR Accidentally told my wife that things weren't working, she almost left me.

Edit: Wow, this blew up. To address a few things that came up in the comments:

-I usually work from home unless I need to meet with clients. I don't always tell my wife when my client meetings are, because she's usually at work anyway. That's why she didn't know I was at work yesterday. I'm not allowed to have my phone on at work until my wife is 30 weeks. If my phone goes off, I could lose my job, and our health insurance.

-My wife has an anxiety disorder and had to stop taking her meds because of the pregnancy. That's why she had the reaction she did.

-My comment about my wife being forgiving was a joke. Neither of us is mad at the other. This was just a series of misunderstandings that snowballed. We're fine. I posted this so people could laugh at our misfortune. No need to psychoanalyze my wife or PM me about divorce. We are fine.

-and no, we haven't put the mirror together yet. We weren't really in a "home improvement" mood last night.

-My comment about my wife being merciful was a joke. Neither of us is mad at the other. This was just a series of misunderstandings that snowballed. We're fine. I posted this so people could laugh at our misfortune. No need to psychoanalyze my wife or PM me about divorce. We are fine.

This morning, a free standing mirror for our bedroom was delivered. I texted her "the new mirror came in! I'm going to try to put it together but I may need your help later". I had trouble putting it together and eventually gave up. I texted her, "this isn't working, and at this point I think I need to just give up". Apparently, the first text didn't go through, just the second one. So my pregnant wife panicked for a few hours while I was off thinking everything was great. She even called a divorce lawyer.

Nah Mike Schur has said the other writers wanted to mess with Jerry’s family life and he forbade it. It was the only way he could write all the other characters being mean to Jerry, his homelife had to be perfect. :)

Friends could do it, switch the text to a answer message, Chandler/Monica. She'd freak out, tell everyone one by one who listen to the message and then freak out, they'd all try and figure out what's been going wrong, Joey is like 'well, he seemed sorta upset this past week but I just figured he was sad cos his team lost', and eventually he comes home to see everyone pretending they aren't freaking out, they sit down and confront him in confusing and vague terms, leading to playing the message. He nods, and then presses the button to let the next message play, after which it's revealed that Monica finished building it in about 10 minutes that morning after he left.

Same for films, like 90% of the time in most films you're just screaming talk to that guy, girl, robot, alien, talking potato instead of making stupid assumptions and doing something stupid as a result.

The reality is in real life lots of people get the wrong end of the stick, over react and won't confirm things or talk about things before getting themselves into stupid situations as a result.

Humans suck way more at communicating than they should do. It's still way overdone in films/tv, but absolutely happens in real life.

Wow. Are you both guys? Have you looked up the term 'gas lighting'? Yes, she is very reactive. She is not *over* reacting. Just because you wouldn't react like her doesn't mean you can just say a woman is overreacting and leave. If you Do say that to female partners - I feel sorry for All of you!

Wife and I were in the grocery store. She was drinking some coffee. She handed the cup to me to finish off the last little bit. I take the coffee "You sure?".
"Yea, I'm done with it"
"Okay", proceed to finish the coffee. Wife starts crying that I finished the coffee.

Hahaha! This is great! My niece does the same thing so I have to stop and try to sort out what it is she really wants because she's so little her words haven't caught up yet to express what she's really thinking. We've had that 'but I wanted to take it off the plate myself even though I only said I wanted bacon' general scenario so many times! Love the Austin Powers angle...

This is my life with my 15month old... except most of the words I don’t understand, so much screaming, lots of pointing & reaching. She goes back and forth between “I only want to eat it if I put it in my mouth” & “I’m only gonna eat if you feed me.” Here I was thinking it’s going to be easier soon

This past week mine has cried because he wanted in his highchair, then cried because I was putting him in his highchair. He's asked to wear his sweatshirt then immediately run away shaking his head. He's asked for more food then said he was "all done". All of these happened 3-5 times and only stopped because I got tired of it.

My toddler cried the other day (not whining but like actual sad tears) bc I forgot to order his frostie from Wendy's (he gets a frostie once a week after his swim lesson, sometimes when I'm lazy, we get dinner there too). Anyway, we're still waiting on our food, haven't left yet so I console him, apologize for forgetting and go buy it. I tell them he wanted chocolate bc he always gets chocolate and no he wants vanilla this time, the lady has already started pouring it so I didn't want her to waste it. I told him I'd get it fixed and he was still sad cryng so when it was ready I just told him "oh look it is vanilla, I think they were out of chocolate anyway so that worked out, didn't it?" He literally took a bite and said "mmm that's good vanilla!" Thankfully it was dark in the car so he couldn't see the color of it lol. Toddlers are goofy critters

my toddler cried and cried and friggen crieeed because she couldn't wear two pairs of shoes at once today. there's no way for me to explain to a 2 year old that you can't put a pair of shoes in another pair of shoes that your feet are already in.

You should get her a pair of cute snow or rain boots that are meant to go over regular shoes. Or just get a pair bigger than the size she currently wears so she can try out what it's like to wear two pairs at once.

I vaguely remember doing that when I was little with my dad's work boots. But it's been over 30 years so I don't know if I'm remembering right.

Had my first cry during a 700 mile road trip cause I would not pull over and get the moon for her cause she was hungry...She settled for pancakes at IHOP. she is 16 now and I still bug her about that when we go on family road trips

This. My 3 yr old will get worked up about wanting chocolate milk. I'll start pouring chocolate milk into his cup and he will lose his crap because he "wants" apple juice. So I dump out the milk and rinse the cup. He then proceeds to lose it again because he didn't want his cup washed. We finally get past that, I then pour his apple juice and give him the (sippy) cup. He takes a drink and delivers the third, most intense tantrum due to the fact that his cup contains apple juice and not chocolate milk...

I cried because my husband put my burrito, that he lovingly cooked for me, on a plate that had a few water droplets. It made the burrito a tiny bit soggy in one spot, which made me nauseous. I bawled my eyes out.

See this I completely understand. My wife is currently pregnant and she gets moods swings but hasnt cried about much. One time I put a cold can of beer on her back for a split second and that made her cry, tho.

When my wife was pregnant, I brought home KFC for dinner one night. She pulls out mashed potatoes and gravy from the bag, starts balling and saying "You know I hate gravy! Why would you ruin my dinner?!". I reach in the bag and pull out her mashed potatoes with no gravy. Even though I had her food right, that train had already left the station and there was no turning back. She goes to the bedroom and lays in the bed to cry. She did not eat dinner. Pregnancy hormones are no joke.

Keep in mind those anecdotes are on the extreme side. All I got out of pregnancy hormones was a little extra sappy for movies and one time I cried b/c my cat wanted out go play outside but I had to take her to the vet instead.

Postpartum hormones, on the other hand, were a bitch. I didn't get pissy at anyone but I cried more in those two weeks than I had for the past decade, including the pregnancy.

Ditto! 11 weeks postpartum here, I didn’t have these crazy crying episodes over nothing. Sure I teared up at commercials and movies that normally wouldn’t have affected me but there was no crying because I wanted red Gatorade and all the store had was blue. Postpartum though, the hormone crash and sleep deprivation are bitches but I’m more mean than weepy.

I thought pregnancy hormones were bad until her postpartum depression kicked in. Holy crap! Taking care of our baby was a breeze compared to taking care of her. She would get mad or sad or angry or depressed about everything that did happen, didn’t happen, might happen, might not happen, had happened or hadn’t happened. She convinced herself that taking care of the baby was literally impossible. She would start crying because things like measuring out a bottle were too hard. She would get mad at me for helping because that implies she couldn’t do it. She would get mad at me for not helping enough because she can’t do it.

Both times I was pregnant I couldn't drink apple juice without feeling sick. I wanted apple juice constantly. I would call my husband begging for Apple juice, and he would (reasonably) ask "are you sure?" I would cry and say no, and he would bring me every other juice he could find (white grape?? white grape and pear??) and pour me tiny tasting glasses while I cried. I just wanted apple.

After I had the kids he had gallons of apple juice and cider waiting at home for me.

I’ve never been addicted to anything in my life, except when I was pregnant. All I wanted was ice. To the point that I’m the morning I would be shaking and sweating until I crunched through half a kilo of ice. I’d previously never even had it in drinks. I hated the stuff. My husband said it was like living with a beaver because I’d be crunching all day and night.
Unfortunately it was right at the time when everyone was doing the ice bucket challenge and ice was hard to come by. I was down at the local shop like a smack head, shaking and quizzing the workers about when the next ice delivery would be. It was a very trying time!

My second pregnancy, I became obsessed with the smell of rain. Specifically, the way the sidewalk smells during a hot summer rain. I only refrained from huffing the wet sidewalk because we were new to the neighborhood.

The first time my wife was pregnant, I had to make her grilled cheese and tomato soup daily. Also, she had me constantly keeping the corner store run out of the Tropicana strawberry/ kiwi juice. And she could not tolerate the smell of coffee (literally would hurl at the smell).

During the second pregnancy none of that happened but she was gestational diabetic and super emotionally volatile. She started a fight over decorating the house for Christmas that devolved into a sobbing fest where she accused me of not being on her team. I believe it had something to do with garland. After delivery she just couldn’t explain what it was: “Hormones, hon, I have no fucking clue why it was bothering me.” Was the only response she came up with. God I love her.

I was off bacon for my pregnancy. It was the only food aversion I had, the smell of it cooking made me ill. My husband and I love bacon. He gave it up right along with me, even at restaurants he wouldn’t order it even though I told him it was ok.

All I wanted to eat was lunch meat, specifically Italian sub sandwiches. Lunch meat is a no go due to risk of Listeria unless you heat it to steaming - which is disgusting. Now that my daughter is born he has eaten so many subs with me without a word of complaint!

I understand that, though. Tupperware and everything to do with it is just frustrating, from the weird white marks they get over time, to them getting easily stained by red sauce, to them magically not drying off in the dishwasher when everything else is fine.

I know someone else already said it but a couple years ago, my husband and I were so fed up with our plastic tubberware and came across some Pyrex that was on sale and we jumped on it. Then we were at Macy’s and saw a big box for like 40% off and so we snagged that too... then there were some on sale at target so we snatched those up a couple months later. Now we: have plenty of Pyrex to use for various things, lids that all fit, and no stains! And they dry easier! Just my two cents lol, it really saved us a little bit of sanity

My now ex and I had never had a real fight until she was pregnant with our son. We had a shower with a glass sliding door which had a handle on it which we would hang a towel on. While I was getting into the shower the towel must have fallen on to the floor. I proceed to get ripped a new one while still in the shower. Unfortunately, it was so ridiculous and out of character that I could not stop laughing. Needless to say that didn't help. It didn't take long and she was over it but hell hath no fury like a woman impregnated.

Tell me about it. Currently pregnant and today I bawled for like 20 minutes in my OB’s waiting room because I had to wait so long for my appointment and once I started I just couldn’t stop. Felt like a complete dumbass.

My wife cried the entire afternoon the first day she didn't have morning sickness. I had to take her to the OB to prove to her that everything was okay and you don't have 9 months of constant puking every time you eat. Hormones be crazy.

Yes... well, I've also tried other variations of things to call my ex-wife... but Satan now has a libel suit filed against me for referring to her as "Hellspawn" stating, and I quote from the legal brief:
"Look, I know it's Hell down here, but even WE wouldn't create something so evil and fucked up as her."

You know seriously, for Sex-Ed, they should insert a part of it for the boys to go through the, impact of pregnancy hormones on their partner. I see a lot of guys totally blindsided by it. I mean it sucks don't get me wrong but it probably sucks 10 times as much for them.

I cried when pregnant because the Christmas carols were Christmassy. It was a week before Christmas in a shopping mall and I was standing outside a store just bawling. Very hard to explain to the people who tried to help.

8 years ago and I was preggo with our first kid. We were on our way to a wedding to which we were quite late and still had 1.5 hrs to get there. I was craving a Spanish Cheese hotdog from our local hotdog stand. He insisted we didn’t have time, but said it kindly and damnit sometimes he would give in to my demands.

As we’re driving towards the bifurcation of
Roads with staying left meant craving gratification and veering right meant we were infact just driving to the wedding...I held my breath...but he proceeded right. I mustered with all my preggo might the most passive aggressive ”THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING” response. I was really pissed.

For the record we could have stopped because they got divorced anyways a year later. We can joke about it now. Sort of.

So 30 years from now when his oxygen bottle runs out while he's laying in bed and asks you to replace it are you going to just going to look him in the eyes and say "remember the hotdog?" and walk into the other room?

So 30 years from now when his oxygen bottle runes out while he's laying in bed and asks you to replace it are you going to just going to look him in the eyes and say "remember the hotdog?" and walk into the other room?

I cried because my dog ate a box of Cheerios and that was my only craving, even though wasn’t craving it then. Husband went out and bought me two giant boxes and made sure they were high enough that the dog couldn’t get them.

A Dairy Queen commercial got me. In a room full of young (21ish) men, I started sobbing uncontrollably about a fucking commercial. After 15 minutes of my bullshit, their awkward stares and silence at each other, and my SO trying to get me to stop hyperventilating enough to tell him what was wrong with me, I finally huffed out the words, "Yer gonna Sniffle have a Sniffle son to Sniffle play football with Sniffle too..." Back to crying the ugliest of happy cries. I was bawlin because of a three second shot of a father throwing a football to his boy. Fuckin embarrassing, I tell you what...

I cried because I was lying on the floor crying and my ears were getting wet from my tears running down the sides of my face. I have literally no clue why i was crying in the first place, but the wet ears was the reason I said when my husband laid next to me and asked me what was wrong.

My wife was 7 months pregnant and had been listening to love songs all day on Valentine's Day and had not heard from me. As I walked through the door she threw one of the CDs hard enough that it stuck in the door frame like a shuriken. It was positively terrifying. This was before cell phones were widespread and i had been out shopping for floors and bears and that kind of thing but pregnancy hormones had convinced her that I had left her AND gave her superhuman strength and ninja skills.

I once fell into a sobbing mess on the floor at six months pregnant because my father-in-law, who lives with us, ate the last of my salsa that I ate after work every single day of my pregnancy. My husband said I looked so pitiful that he didn't even resent having to go get me more right after getting home from work himself. It's been over 18 years and my father-in-law still won't touch my salsa.

Same thing happened to me. I ordered a tuna sandwich at the deli and it was taking longer than usual for them to make it. I didn’t yell or anything, just cried. The girl who gave me the sandwich felt so guilty! I went back a few minutes after I stopped crying and explained. She said, “Oh wow, I am never getting pregnant.”

My wife cried because jack in the box forgot cheese. The correct answer was not “we have cheese in the refrigerator”. They also forgot pickles. I’m sure you can guess the wrong answer on that one, too.

Also, she wanted chocolate milk. But it had to be Hershey’s syrup. I learned that one the hard way, too.

I cried because my husband wanted me to wait until we got home to start eating so we could eat together (went through a drive through), but I wanted that taco Bell so badly. The next day his dad-to-be app had the advice "don't ask a pregnant woman to wait to eat" so, I like to pretend I'm not alone.

My friend is 3 months pregnant and this week she told me and her husband that she would kill us both after we stopped for a minute to look at something while on our way to lunch. At the time I was like, “Uh, what?” but now you’ve made me feel bad haha. I’ll bring her a snack today.

If it helps explain, at the worst of my morning sickness (which lasted all day), I had limited windows where I was starving and could eat anything I wanted without puking, starving and just nauseous at the same time, and starving but anything I eat would come right back up. Eating without nausea and/or puking is just something most people take for granted.

I ugly cried because I couldn’t find my boots and then ugly cried even harder because I couldn’t bend over to put them on. I had to sit down so my husband could put them on me and zip them up.... all why crying because I felt useless lol.

I was explaining the power of hormones to my daughter, who is hitting puberty. I told her about the time when I was pregnant with her and cried at a damn insurance commercial.

Soccer practice was over. Mom comes to pick up the next to the last kid. Realizes the one kid will be left alone. Stays with him until his ride shows up. That’s it. That’s the commercial. I cried like a damn baby because it was so nice of the mom to wait with the kid.

When I was pregnant with my twins I would cry every time I watched Price is Right. Whether happy tears because they won a car or sad tears because their big spin was unfruitful, I was a mess. That's just one example, of course. I also cried over a bowl of chips. I think I felt bad for them because they were going to be eaten.

Oh boy here we go. Wife was 7-8 months preggo and we were in Target. They had Ramen 6 packs for some unreasonable price like $2.99. She just absolutely lost it and starts screaming about how Ramen shouldn't cost more than 15-17¢ apiece and Target was the devil, and by extension all the college students who dared to buy half dollar ramen were ruining the world. We had to leave the store, it was baaaaaaaaad.

Edit: We weren't even shopping for Ramen just sort of meandering and killing time. It just set her off

I had a hissy fit in Walmart (of course it was, thankfully no one was around to see it) toward my husband bc I really wanted to spend my gift card on a sun dress to wear to the beach that we were leaving for in the morning and were at Walmart to buy the last couple things we needed for the trip. The store my gift card was for closed in less than 10 mins and we were about 5 mins away. My husband told me that while we likely could technically get there before they closed, it would he literally 1 or 2 mins before they closed and that we had just started into Walmart and needed these things.

We never fight, we don't yell/argue at each other (unless joking or something) and I was just going at it, fussing, crying, he said I even stomped my foot lol. He eventually just told me he was walking away until I calmed down and told me where he'd be. After fuming for another min or two I was fine, went to find him and he handled me like a bomb, afraid to disagree or suggest anything lol. After seeing I was back to normal, he suggested buying the dress from a store in the city we were staying at since they would open again tomorrow and I didn't even want to go once we got there because I don't really wear dresses and didnt wanna buy something I wouldn't wear ...

I went out to dinner with a pregnant friend, and we had been best friends for 5 years at this point, she started sobbing because she accidentally drank out of my non alcoholic drink and felt bad. Then she kept crying because people were looking at her crying. I love her but gosh that was a terrifying day.

I cried because we were out of milk and I was really craving alfredo noodles (pasta sides package) and I couldn’t make them. My husband thought it was hilarious and went down the street to get some. It was a complete meltdown for me though.

I cried because we were out of milk and I was really craving Alfredo noodles (pasta sides package) and I couldn’t make them. My husband thought it was hilarious and went down the street to get some. It was a complete meltdown for me though.

Oh geez.....I had a lady do this about $1 price difference in ink. She was cool one second and was sitting on the ground the next sobbing. I immediately jumped over the counter asking what was wrong! Yes, I took care of her and got her some water, a chair, and a price match to out online store for $5 cheaper 😅 terrifying to see the emotional swings.....

I cried because I really wanted a sour green apple slush from sonic. We had 2 Sonics in town & the one we regularly went to had sour stuff they put in it, my SO convinced me to go to the other sonic. They didn’t have sour stuff. I cried immediately when she told me I couldn’t get what I wanted

Seriously, if I hadn't been through it first-hand I'd advise OP to look into couples counselling, because I'd have serious questions about why his wife would go straight to that conclusion without even replying to ask him wtf he was on about. However, in this case we can blame the pregnancy.

I cried in quick check one morning bc they changed their hash browns. One employee kept the older version to the side for me but he wasn't there when I got to the counter so I explained to another employee what the other employee does for me. They weren't having it and told me that wasn't true they didn't have any old ones anymore. I walked out crying for the nice employee to stop me half way out to let me know he would make the old ones for me.

I also cried trying to get into my house once bc I had baby brain and couldn't remember which key opened the door.

I haven't had many hormone cries, but the first one was on my birthday. My husband had wanted to try this new restaurant, which I was game for, so we did. And then I proceeded to cry in the middle of the restaurant. There was exactly zero reason for this, no trigger, just...I started crying. My poor husband thought he'd done something horribly wrong by picking the restaurant on my birthday. It took a bit to convince him that no, he didn't do anything wrong, Baby's just in a mood.

I cried and got super pissed for like 3 hours with my husband this pregnancy but I still say it was super justified- he called me saying he and DD1 were at Coldstone for a treat. I jokingly said ooo bring me home some! And he said "Oh you want some? What would you like?" AND TOOK MY ORDER. An hour and change he came home- with no ice cream. He was like oh, I didn't think you were serious, plus we were out of the house for the while. YES AND I FIGURED I HAD MELTED ICE CREAM TO FREEZE AGAIN AND ENJOY, YOU TOOK MY DAMN ORDER YOU OWE ME ICE CREAM.

I angry ordered tacos for deliver for just myself, and he eventually went out and bought the damn ice cream in the largest possible size for penance but I was still mad for the rest of the night.

No kidding. When pregnant, I broke down sobbing because I got home before I realized that my Canes sauce had been left out of my meal from Raisin Canes. For those who don't know, Canes sauce is about half the reason most people go to Raisin Canes, but still not reason for a sane person to cry.

I called to let them know they had made an error as a general "please pay more attention" feedback, and I guess they caught on that I was temporarily a crazy hormonal lady, because they told me to come back, replaced my meal, and gave me gift cards.

My wife's postpartum depression once made my wife cry, get angry and start packing her things up to leave. All because I had turned on a bedside table lamp at night to get to bed. It took a lot to make her stay. I can only laugh at it now when I'm tipsy...

lol. My wife is a pretty level headed person, really tend to think thing through far more than I do. However, for each of our 5 kids when she was pregnant, damn. Having spend 40+ months of dealing with it over the years, I got good but I was a total dipshit with her in regards to those pregnancy hormones for our first one.

When Trader Joe's stopped carrying their seasonal spiced apple cider last winter, my pregnant wife had to go to another part of the store while I asked a staff member about it. Didn't trust herself not to cry. Pregnancy hormones are REAL.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I cried for 20 minutes because I didn’t know if I could stay with my husband for the rest of my life because he closed the twist tie clockwise instead of counter clockwise. I was mentally working out a custody arrangement of our unborn child over this.

Yeaaaaah idk - maybe hormones, but that seems a bit presumptuous and jump to conclusions mat... especially with the wife title ? Who knows maybe OP is a dick who she thinks would end a marriage through text ?

Speaking as a woman, those pregnancy hormones can make you straight up insane... I feel bad for her, it’s a tough time for her too. Imagine being that fragile and terrified that a single text could unravel you.

Hello all, apologies if this is confusing, I'm still very raw right now. An hour ago, I checked my phone on my lunch break and there was a text from my husband that said that we weren't working out and he had to give up on us. He hasn't answered any of my calls and texts. I told my work I had a personal emergency and went home.

I feel completely blindsided and heart broken, especially that he chose to do this over text, without even talking to me about it. We haven't had any major problems in the past. I'm 7 months pregnant with our first child. I need advice on what to do.

When I got home, all his stuff was still here so I can only assume he's intending to stay. Legally, what steps should I take? Can I take our car to my parents house or do I have to leave it here? What happens with custody if I have the baby in another state? Do I have to let him into the hospital room? What am I allowed to take with me from the house? Any advice is much appreciated, thank you all. xx

edit: I want to thank everyone who responded to my post. It was so helpful to have some clarity in that moment, though it ended up not being necessary.
I was packing the car with clothes and such for the baby and me and my husband started calling me over and over, but I didn't answer because I was so upset. He came home and saw me packing the car and he started crying and asking what he did wrong.

I kind of blew up at him because he had sent me a text saying he wanted to divorce! He told me he did not send any sort of text like that and asked to see the message. He looked at it, told me to hang on, and went to get his computer.
The text he had sent me said "This isn't working, and at this point I think I need to just give up." There was a first text that he had sent from his laptop that we discovered didn't go through. It said "The new mirror came in! I'm going to try to put it together but I may need your help later."

So as it turns out, I'm not getting divorced and I'll probably be able to laugh about it when the pregnancy hormones let me stop crying. My husband helped me unpack the car and now he's out getting me Thai food, so there's a happy ending.
Again, thank you all for your kind responses. I'm glad I didn't need them! xx

And then you have the r/relationship crowd who would go 'the fact that she jumped to the conclusion that you wanted a divorce from a single text message is probably her projecting. You should leave her immediately.'

I asked advice there once after I had started dating a new person and was confused about how she was acting towards me. Their advice was that there was no chance of it working and I should give up immediately.

Well I mean, to be fair, we only have one side of a story told from the perspective of a person likely under a lot of personal stress. The way things are told often sound like there is abuse involved when there may not be, and things sound way worse than the sometimes actually are.

I am very active in r/relationships and regularly get lambasted for telling people to try and stick things out! I have (admittedly) a very old school belief system about marriage and the gravity of the marital vows. It makes me nearly sick to see how quickly people want to throw in the towel over the smallest perceived incident of 'disrespect'.....

Dear Reddit. My boyfriend of 6 months left a carton of milk on the counter last night and a dirty glass in the sink. It was there ALL NIGHT! It seems as if he expects me to clean up after him. Aside from that, he is a wonderful-he is the CEO of a multimillion dollar corporation, loves children, rescues homeless animals in his spare time, and is an amazing cook. What do I do?

Answer-this relationship will NEVER work out. Clearly he doesn't respect you OR your kitchen. Dump him immediately!!!

I read it just for the hilariously bad advice. If you post from a guys perspective you are completely fucked, no matter the situation. There was one today where a guy was cheated on and felt dead inside, and he met a different girl and felt alive again and was asking for advice. He was torn a new asshole and then the thread was deleted.

I was having an issue and kinda wanted to vent a couple weeks ago and ask for advice but then I read a couple relationships posts, and decided I didnt want to leave my SO over this little thing that all we had to do was talk about. So I read a couple more of those posts for laughs and resolved my issue IRL.

Or r/Justnomil. Sometimes I can't believe there are such shitty mother-in-laws out there. And then sometimes I think "she offered to do a nice thing and you misconstrued it to mean she wants to take your children away."

But the comments section always starts with "I don't normally say this, but you should go no contact. This is a hill to die on."

A lot of posts about legitimately crazy mother-in-laws. But there are also a LOT of posts that make me suspect the OP is twisting the situation and OP is in fact the crazy one. Pretty much 50-50 on that sub.

Not projecting but yeah, regardless of the hormones, the fact she went completely off the rails over that text and didn't wait to talk to him means something need addressing.
If that's enough information to start a divorce over, I don't want to know what triggers a fight.

The tifu specifically says that she tried calling and texting about 30 times, but he didn't answer. Add crazy pregnancy hormones to that and this situation is totally believable for a healthy relationship.

Yeah, I'm hoping this is sarcasm otherwise these guys are in for a bit of surprise when their SO gets pregnant; either that or their experiences have been with a wonderfully easy, hormonally at least, pregnancy.

I mean my pregnant friend asked her boyfriend for warm cake. He went up to get it and said "wait warm cake?" making sure she hadn't been actually thinking of pie or something. To which she screamed "Yes warm goddamn cake, is that a fucking problem you jackass!" now this is a girl who barely ever curses, and never gets so angry over nothing. She then broke down ugly crying because "he always second guesses me, he can never just take me seriously!" 20 minutes later, after eating her cake, she began sobbing again because "he's a good man, I don't know why I get so angry. He's gonna leave me!".

Being 7 months pregnant is no joke when it comes to those hormones. Events like the one above happened at least 4 times a day.

Yeah, this is why I send texts like "I'm leaving, can't handle this any more," rather than, "Work was rough today but I'm on my way home now." Get 'em used to ambiguous and ominous sounding messages when times are good so that if something like OP's situation comes up they'll think I'm just being my usual melodramatic self.

My wife is 6 months pregnant with our first child and if this happened I can only assume her reaction would be either 1) “Haha, very funny” or 2) track me down (or wait till we were both home) and figure out what was going on.

Even with the pregnancy hormones I feel like the reaction went from 0-60 real quick.

Well she did try to clarify, from her perspective, he was ignoring her calls and any way to contact him for hours.

At 7 months pregnant it's pretty uncool for your partner to be unreachable for that long, she could have been experiencing early labor, or preeclampsia, or seizures, or a placenta bleed. If your partner is pregnant you need to have your phone on.

Some work places dont allow you to have your phone on. One of my coworkers just got written up, and is now not allowed to even have her phone in the building. If theres an emergency, she has to be contacted through the front desk.

But she said it herself that they were having absolutely no issues. Based off of that, wouldn’t it be extremely ODD for someone to do that to their pregnant wife? He didn’t pack up any of his things. She didn’t even call his work. She straight up just left work to come home to find him when she knew he was at work.
None of it makes sense. People leave trails when they do this stuff ie. Pack up if they’re doing a text breakup.

*Many* places will give exception to possible medical situations. I've worked in management several times when we had to do that at different companies for pregnancy or illness, and SO or caretaker was the employee. Having been in the situation where my grandmother almost died when I was a teen because the medical staff weren't allowed to change her medication without my mother's approval, and did anyway, and my brother managed to contact us via cell phone (late 90s), I never would wish that on anyone.

Because people at r/legaladvice live for these kinds of posts. They don't want it to be a misunderstanding. Maybe they'll even get a juicy update post. It's their time to shine to tell a hormonal pregnant woman to lawyer up and that she can DO this.

there was a text from my husband that said that we weren't working out and he had to give up on us

Well, she kind of made it seem open and and closed in her original post - the way she worded it makes it sound like he literally texted her "We aren't working out as a couple. I'm giving up on us. I'm divorcing you." If she had included the actual text, maybe more people would have said it sounds like a misunderstanding. But no one wants to accuse someone and demand the text evidence of someone they'd never met. Easier just to give them the advice they asked for.

I just think given her original post it's totally reasonable that there are so few replies suggesting it's a misunderstanding.

No, there's a lot of _non_lawyers on /r/legaladvice, because it turns out most of the real lawyers mostly want to commiserate on what goes on there in bola, which disqualifies you from posting in LA. Most of the mods are also cops, so I'm surprised the top comment wasn't directing OP to go incriminate herself to the local DA somehow.

I havent looked at the post on there and I really hope they drove her into a frenzy (instead of providing sound, logical and caring advice) . Because her 0-100 reaction was worthy of drag racing gold medal. Seriously I would be super disturbed by both the immediate and absolute nature of her assumed context of the non-specific but ominous message and her subsequent decisions and actions. All, mind you, with never once waiting to talk to literally the only person who could clarify and elaborate on it all.

My marriage is currently in the process of dying, but when things were good, that thinking would literally have NEVER even occurred to me as a remote possibility - let alone have that thought and accept it without a doubt or consideration for a far less extreme explanation.

I'd get to the bottom of that, maybe your communication has got sloppy. It's easy to take for granted that someone knows that you love them and vice versa - and forget to actually continually and always actually express all that emotion as actions, words, compliments etc

I dont have the post because it was around when I first started really browsing reddit, and I didnt know how to save posts but I believe a teenager worked at his dads fishery or something, and decided he needed some relief so he used a squid head and came in it. He couldnt find anywhere to dispose of it, so he put it back and figured he would throw it out later or something? Then, his dad sold it to someone.

If nothing on the internet is true then that must mean that this statement is false. But if the statement is false then that means that the statement that nothing on the internet is true is indeed true which would mean that... What I'm trying to say here dude is that what you're posting is a paradox, sir.

I think it's all made up. It's ridiculous. If you get a text like that, the next thing you do is call and try to reach them, and then given that up till then there wasn't a hint of anything wrong, you wait till you talk to them FFS, you don't go calling a divorce lawyer and building a whole ridiculous house or cards about it instantly. Someone thirsty for karma.

My guess is more along the lines of when you think of a good comeback response, but after the appropriate opportunity window. OP probably received/sent some text similar to the one he claims in the post, then got the idea: "how funny would it be if someone sent just that text and it caused a huge shitstorm when misinterpreted!?" Then he figured reddit would eat it up if he could make his story believable, and he was right.

What makes me somewhat doubt this is that if the wife is really that logical, to pack all her shit and be ready to go - shouldn't she have remembered that OP is not allowed to have his phone on while at work.

You do this to learn about poeple and how they react, what people like and what people dislike, how likely they are to figure out a pattern, this helps you to learn, how to approach social scenarios, etc... So not only you take on some effort, but you do the most of the effort; after all that's the whole challenge, you are curious what people think, how people react, and it should be as real as possible.

Not only that but media companies might be interested in running these kind of experiments as well.

I mean it’s possible they’re lurkers had made accounts to post, but then again, who, while panicking and thinks their husband has left them, thinks “I know, I’ll make an account on Reddit and ask a sub about it instead of, like, calling... anyone.”

Holy fuck, props to the top to posters for telling her not to panic. I understand the others were just working with the information they were given, but the fact that several of them immediately went to "lawyer up" rather than "this might be a misunderstanding" just shows how awful Reddit can be for life advice, even on heavily moderates subs.

It's /r/legaladvice, not /r/relationship_advice. They're not there to tell you whether or not your relationship is fucked, just what legal options you might have if you want to end it. If you're looking for life advice from /r/legaladvice, you've already made a huge mistake.

Great point. I should rephrase my comment to say I applaud those who were able to look past their profession and give OPs wife solid common-sense advice. I think a great mark of professionals is understanding when their services are/are not needed.

I went to ask Reddit on how to deal with an asshole boss. Almost all the advice was "find a new job". I deleted the post. There are options that don't involve dumping, quitting ect. You may not find them on Reddit though

I'm guessing you don't frequent /r/legaladvice? The rules discourage "practical" advice. You're free to give it out, but it has to be related to the legal advice that you've given. 99% of the time, the posters are strictly on what the legal avenues are. Even if the poster says something like "arrested for weed possession, what do". Best answer is without a doubt, "Get a lawyer."

This may be a silly question - but are you absolutely sure the text was from him? Is this behavior typical of him - to deal with serious issues with a short text? It seems very, ah, shortsighted to end a marriage via text with a child on the way. I have some younger employees who in the past have though it funny to send crazy texts from someone's phone if they leave it unattended.

My girlfriend (who I am living with) sent me a text saying "When you get home, I have to talk to you"....

All she wanted to say was the hot water wasn't working.

I tell you what, I was stressing so hard at work till I got the time to call her.

Edit.. damn my inbox bois and gurls... 30+ notifications.

Some context and details. We have been dating for 3 years at that point and living together for at least 2, so it wouldn't have been the "we need a break" chat, she is just bad at text messages. But there is an underlying feeling when you have had 6 breakups (with other girls) in the past (where she has left you) that will put you into panic mode when something like that is said.

It was an easy fix as well, the breaker was tripped so she just needed to turn it back on.

Some context and details. We have been dating for 3 years at that point and living together for at least 2, so it wouldn't have been the "we need a break" chat, she is just bad at text messages. But there is an underlying feeling when you have had 6 breakups in the past (where she has left you) that will put you into panic mode when something like that is said.

whoa there. I am going to go ahead and tell you from personal experience this is a terrible idea.

I did this once when I was in my late 20s. Just don't do this. You can easily turn "My car finally died and we have to get a new one" into one hell of a story you can't legally tell on reddit because after the settlement the lawyers suggest you never... ever mention the details to anyone ever again.

ever

Seriously. Just call them back and ask IF THEY ARE OK. Show concern for the individual -- "I just wanted to make sure you were o.k, talk to you when i get home, love you, yep, the brown eggs not the white ones, got it, not the red container of 2% but the purple one with the screw cap -- see you in half an hour"...

My ex did that once. Texted me in the morning saying 'I have to talk to you later. I've something I need to tell you.' We were doing LDR at the time. Was pretty rough getting through the day not knowing if she was dumping me or if she was pregnant or something.

When we finally talked it was just that she'd gotten a holiday approved and would be coming over sooner than anticipated. She also said that she'd realised after sending it that it was incredibly poorly worded.

Normally we could have clarified with follow ups but she was in training all day and didn't have access to her phone so it was a bit of a fluke.

On the flipside, it did make me realise that she was the one for me. When I had to consider the possibility of her being pregnant, I came to the conclusion that that would be scary as hell but that I'd be happy to have a kid with her. So, there was that.

That's a long and pretty complicated story. I suppose, given everything we went through, I wasn't the one for her. There was too much pain in our past to move behind and, well, she'd had so much pain in her life that she chose to run instead of dealing with it together. I can't really blame her, knowing what I know. Just hope she's happy and that she still is lighting up the world around her, as she did when we were together.

My ex refused to say anything over text aside from we need to talk and I used to work at a hospital for over 24 hours straight some shifts. It was sometimes something as simple as needing to talk about groceries we wanted in the house all the way to our actual breakup. Use some fucking words ya goddamn morons so we don't give ourselves heart attacks lol.

My girlfriend has been in America for a long time but wasn't born or raised here. Consequently she phrases things like this all the time. I'm numb to it now; ominous "we need to talk" texts are usually just benign shit, lol.

But it did take some very stressful getting used to.

My girlfriend has been in America for a long time but wasn't born or raised here. Consequently she phrases things like this all the time. In numb to it now; ominous "we need to talk" texts are usually just benign shit, lol.

cue freaking out, I get to her place after work and it's because she couldn't describe to me what the object was that broke (She didn't know what the bits were called), and that she needed me to fix the stupid thing.

I did that to my husband and said it was serious and wanted to talk face to face. I then I had a presentation on why we should get a puppy (we recently bought our first house and it had a fenced yard after years in apartments). We had a puppy by the weekend (acted fast, a rescue just had a litter of puppies to adopt out which doesn’t happen too often).

Why not just mention that the hot water isn't working in a text? That doesn't seem like something that needs a face to face discussion. "Hey, just letting you know our hot water isn't working" is the same number of words that she sent you

I once yelled at my husband for “leaving the oven on” ... he had literally just taken the food out like 30 seconds ago. (In my defense, I’m pretty sure he was going to forget tho. Still did not warrant my reaction!! Lol)

My ex GF yelled at me for wasting electricity when I didn't turn off 5W light bulb in room when exiting for literally 20s to fetch something from another room WHILE she was literally sitting on space heater with windows open for fresh air wearing nothing but underwear for over 3 hours.

She would tell me that I'm wasting money because I didn't turn off my laptop while doing something else WHILE she would take 2 hour shower...

I don't know where this fact came from, but I've heard it too and it's just not true. There's some concern with CFLs (florescent lighting) since they have a limited number of on/off cycles before the bulb dies. But new LED bulbs don't have this issue and they certainly draw less power when off. And the old incandescent lights are certainly best left off for any length of time because they are less than 15% efficient at generating light.

In 1980 my mum had a pregnancy craving for shrimp salad (they didn't know back then you're not really supposed to eat it). She sent her poor husband out at 9pm at night in the middle of the troubles in Ireland to find a salad. He managed to convince a chef at a restaurant who gave him one, got home and my mum cried that it wasn't enough and he should go back... pregnant ladies are nuts

It's not all shrimp salad that's dangerous, just the kind made with broth from boiling the shells. That kind of broth is really smelly, and if you eat it when pregnant the baby will come out smelling like seafood.

I’m just going to say as someone who had a baby not that long ago, it would be a good idea to keep your phone on while you’re at work, especially when it’s getting close to go time. Not only would it have saved you and your wife a lot of grief today, but if something comes up and she needs to get in touch with you urgently, it’s important for you to be reachable.

lol reminds me of when my moms work gave her a pager. She gave the number to us and said only use in an emergency. So of course every few hours she’d get a 911 page and call back to get “he hit me!” “Well she stole the tv remote!” 😂

While I understand the sentiment behind the idea it's not really true. Most of us, statistically, have not lived in a world without commercially available cell phones. And only people older than 107 have lived in a world where they didn't exist at all. I'd say that's a pretty low number (about 1% of population).

First commercial cell phones were 1983. Anyone born after 1980 isn't going to remember being in a world without cell phones.

In 2012 people born in 82 were 30 over half of the population 6 years ago never lived in a world without cell phones. That's only went up over time, not down.

Cell phones were really common by the early 2000s. We were pretty poor but I drove around a lot so I had a basic cell phone at in high school. In 01 those 1982 babies were 19 and definitely were already reliant on having a phone. Even in 05 I had to take 2 different phones on a trip to make sure I had coverage in multiple states (my phone only worked in my state) but I surely had my phone and another person's to use.

We couldn't use them for everything we do today but we had phones. My grandma who commuted a long way to work had a bag phone in the early 90s.

I say this because the idea that we just suddenly got these things isn't true. And the fact that if broke down side of the road in the middle of the night before we got them meant that we had to walk miles to the next hopefully open business or payphone doesn't make it more noble.

You say that, until you lose your job and can't support your new family. I drive for a living and I can't touch my phone while I'm at work. Sometimes people skip breaks and lunches to help and get shit done, maybe today was one of those days for him.

Without details of his job or anything, and with all due respect having to turn the phone off completely with a pregnant wife is strange and overbearing for a job. It makes sense because you drive, and if are on your phone you could lose your life and take others. I dont know what he does but it sounds like one of those bs corporation rules but i could be wrong. If OP mentioned his job i mustve missed it.

The office would have a land line in situations like this. It's not like OP would be unreachable for an emergency. Cell phones have become a major distraction. I could easily see a company implementing a no cell phone policy.

So my work is trying to clamp down on cell phones. I like to bring up the time that my co worker did have his cell phone off. His sister got into a major car accident and his family called the manager to let him know. His manager took 2 hours to inform him and by the time he got to the hospital his sister had died.

But it's way more convenient just calling the person directly. I understand a rule that you can't use your phone on the job, but having it completely off the whole time is kind of ridiculous, especially when you have a pregnant spouse to worry about.

As someone who is the only person allowed to handle money at my work site 4 days out of 5 worked in the week (or as is the case this week, 5/6), lunch more often than not is a quick bite between people every so often around the middle of the day somewhere.

Eh I worked in investment banking and I was able to use my phone all day long... had access to tons of accounts and personal details. There was no policy against it, but you did sign like 500 papers and get a background check and such.

Previous workplace, and no we had nothing to do with credit cards in my division, transactions were related to tax withholding and refunds and other related documentation, though for tax auditing we had full access to basically everything, but as I mentioned it was an investment bank, they didn't really do much in cards (cards through them were contracted through visa)

The callcenter I used to work at did stuff for Citibank upstairs. Poor cunts working in that place couldn't even have a note pad. Everything had to be on the PC and phones got stashed in a locker outside the floor.

I work in low-mid security clearance and my dad works high security clearance, both of us are allowed phones. I would imagine phones being outright banned for government security reasons are pretty rare though my experience is anecdotal

I work in the DoD. If you manage to get cell reception in the non secured part of the building you can have your phone. But you want to go into the vault? Leave your phone outside. The vault is half the building....

My father has small company and he doesn't allow phones or any kind of distraction when working with machines (CNC Routers, milling machines, surface grinders, lathes and so on). Workers can use their phones when on break but never when working. If there is emergency people just call directly to company office and ask for someone.

Your wife knows you're not allowed to use your phone during the workday, right? I'm surprised she wouldn't at least wait til you were off to call, knowing that you wouldn't be able to answer before that. I guess that's pregnant brain at work though

I just want to repeat what others said about giving her the number of the reception, manager, secretary or anyone like that. There must be a land-line phone somewhere. Otherwise, what if she were to go into labor super early, or something else goes wrong, and she has to suffer alone until the end of your work day?

You not having your phone on doesn't warrant the complete misunderstanding to the point of contacting a divorce lawyer. Her overreaction isn't your fault... esp if she knows you are at work.

I'd suspect your wife is either having some irrational emotional swings from the pregnancy hormones or she has legitimate reason to think that a text like that would be serious. I hope you guys are able to talk about things and clear the air.

Who gives a shit what work says? What is he worst they can do to you if they find out your phone is on? They fire you from an obviously shitty job? Then you can collect unemployment till you find a new job, one that treats you like a human.

Keep your phone on, if anyone says anything tell them to mind their own damn business. Honestly I have found that following the rules of work actually does nothing to get you a head. I have been the good employee before, but it never amounts to anything.

Honestly I have found just being personable if more beneficial than following rules or even doing your job. Seriously just hang out with the other employees, break the rules in front of them and don’t even make it a big deal, act like it is part of your job and nobody will bat an eye.

Nah, that's a reasonable policy, you'd be surprised how often people are caught smuggling in phones to sell to inmates for a decent profit. This would just make this for of behavior easier. Why is this bad? They can control crime even from their cell, including hits on staff they don't like if they wanted to, a big no no, sir.

Nothing in OP's post suggests it's a shitty job with horrible pay, for all we know it could be a great job with a decent supervisor (such as my job) . My Job doesn't allow phones either, but saying fuck you, I do what I want would seriously tie my supervisors hands and them being as understanding as they could literally do nothing but watch me possibly get fired because of that kind of thinking. Violations in work places that have policies like that in place for legal reasons and not because they just want to should be taken seriously and not harbored with the attitude you displayed.

Depending on his line of work, it could make things difficult down the line if he has that kind of violation on his record, especially one that breaches a legal policy. And who wants that happening anytime soon 7 months in a pregnancy considering how much more stressful it could potentially make the situation he's in(having a new kid really stresses a mariage)? I certainly wouldn't.

If they don’t care about his actual life they don’t care about him. Therefore it is a shitty job.

Your life is more important than your job, if your employer doesn’t understand that then they are trash and should be treated as such. Your job is a piece of shit as well, it doesn’t matter what the job is, they need to respect your life. You only live once, and jobs are totally meaningless.

They only context he gave about work not allowing a phone is "Work won't let me have my phone on until she's at 30 weeks". No other explanation is given, nothing indicates they they don't care about his life, that his job is shitty, or what policy doesn't allow him to have a phone until then. So no, I disagree with you unbacked statement. As I said before, if its a legal policy, it would make sense as to why.

Generally, employers are understanding when someone has a pregnant spouse. My surgeons would hand us their phones when their wives were in their final weeks of pregnancy so if they went into labor and called, we could answer the phone and let them know they had to go (teaching veterinary hospital, so someone was available to take over).

I was sent urgently to labor and delivery for monitoring from a routine prenatal appt. Being able to get in touch with my husband so I didn’t have to be alone was a nice thing.

One time I was driving my pregnant wife, who had a craving for chicken nuggets, around. We got said nuggets and I recalled an earlier conversation when we talked about them being made out of a chicken thrown in a blender beak and all, and asked “how are your beak nuggets?”

She threw them at me, screamed at me, then wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the three hour trip.

Why? They taste the same. I mean, it's not like you don't already know that they're the best quality. People ask me things like, "Do you know what you're eating right now?" The answer is an obvious yes, and that's why I eat it. A random statement doesn't magically change the food.

This is actually incorrect. A huge factor in taste is a person's expectation. Merely telling someone else that you like something can have a larger impact on that person's future perception of that food than you would expect.

Back when my wife and I were first dating, I was able to jump on to Google Voice's beta testing. I was real excited about the voicemail transcription.

She went to a routine Dr appt and called when she was done. I let it go to vm. The transcription came in quickly, "I'm dying. Call me"

I freaked out and called her immediately. Within those few seconds, dozens of thoughts about what it could be and how we were going to handle it raced through my head. She answered the phone and acted like nothing was wrong. I kept pressing her to tell me what happened.

This is true. But to address the first comment (and all the other comments of this nature), my wife is a very logical person. She thought she was being abandoned because I didn't answer any of her texts or calls afterward. Her first instinct is always to put everything in order when chaos happens, so in a weird way, this was her coping mechanism. It's just what she does.

Not really logical to assume you would do that though, unless there is underlying trust issues. Not trying to be a downer but I would be upset if my wife thought I would just abandon her like that, it would make me question her trust in me, which is something I personally place a lot of value on. Really sorry if this is coming across as condescending, I just thought I'd mention it since it's actually a good opportunity to have a discussion surrounding trust in the relationship and laugh about it at the same time ...

My wife is pregnant with our second child right now, I know the difference between being emotional and having massive trust issues. Being emotional can help many insecurities to surface/be enhanced, doesn't mean that it shouldn't be taken seriously.

Yeah...I would be concerned if I sent a message to my partner like that and they were so ready to bail. If I was on the the receiving end, and that panicked, I would have called a bloody Uber to get to hubby’s workplace to speak to him, first. Communication solves many a problem. Unless he dropped the D word, I wouldn’t think it was 100% divorce time until I heard it direct from him.

I know this comment is 9 hours old now, but the wife had actually made a post on legaladvice looking for answers. There were several people who chimes in with the whole “lawyer up” routine, so she was probably just going with the advice in addition to whatever she would normally do as well.

As woman who has been pregnant I can say pregnancy hormones are a hell of a drug. Also if I was blindsided by divorce after deciding to have a child with them, I wouldn't want them in there either. Child birth is very difficult and very emotional. If I was just hurt by someone I would not want them in the room while I was at literally the most vulnerable time I could ever be in in my life.

Yeah, it'd be one thing if this had been a long time coming or something. But to hear your husband wants a divorce while you're 7 months pregnant with his child and everything has been going great; that has to just be soul crushing. I wouldn't want that asshole anywhere near me either, I mean at that point my child would be born into a room full of hatred if he were there. Plus, some places only let one person in the room, I would want that one person to be someone I trusted and loved, not someone who didn't want me and I felt betrayed by; so at that point I'd want my mother.

What really sucks is that your pregnant wife has no way to reach you while you’re at work. Is it not allowed at your job, or not in a place you can use one? I know it can be weird that most of us don’t have an office number anymore. I didn’t even know how to call the office at my last 3 jobs.

I guess you could turn your phone off or leave it in a locker, but imagine being fired because your phone was in your pocket all day. Is this a strict policy enforced by upper management, or can the local manager say, "No problem, just don't let it happen again"?

PCI regulations are no joke. They're there to keep people at call centers, banks, payment processors, loan centers, etc. from stealing your credit information, employment info, family history and many other things and using them to commit credit theft and identity fraud. Even if you don't have Mal intent your phones microphone or camera could be used by malware to collect that info.

There are definitely other sectors that have strict restrictions (someone else mentioned psych assessments for example) but PCI is one of the strictest out there.

It's not even just being fired. If your phone picked up a customer's name or address, you personally can be heavily fined.

My friend worked at a call center for 2 years or so. He said every time there was an Amber Alert while at work at least 2-5 people out of about 100 would get fired immediately for pulling out their phones

Yea you can record (audio/picture) sensitive and personal information and potentially leak it to the world or misuse it . Or imagine being a surgeon or imagine being in the military , there’s a few situations where its not allowed during certain times

I do psych assessments and if your phone goes off during then it ruins the whole assessment, and it can have severe consequences depending on the purpose of assessment. I think security is usually the biggest issue with phones though.

If my husband did that the relief and anxiety remnants would require him to be the big spoon for like 12 hours.

(He once left me a voicemail that said “something big happened call me back” and then IMMEDIATELY had a huge rush of customers for like three hours. I called him, I called his mom, I called his best friend. I stopped short of calling his job but I fucking should have. The big thing was that he got a promotion. He has learned.)

Your wife is forgiving? What do you need forgiving for? You sent a perfectly innocent and normal set of texts and she overreacted to a ridiculous degree. Now sure, she had pregnancy hormones so she has that excuse. But I can't see what you'd need forgiving for!

Reminds me of the time I texted my partner a long and heartfelt message on Valentine's Day morning, and was met with radio silence. For hours. I spent the whole day so worried and sad. Finally in the evening I was like "so.... why did you not reply....?" and it turned out he had, hours earlier, but I hadn't received it. 🤷‍♀️

Don't take it personally. I'll probably be downvoted just for pointing out the shadiness.

There are crazy people, and then there are stupid people who believe everything on the internet is true. And then there are bitter assholes like us who think we are smarter and more rational and above this shit but ultimately still on reddit looking for drama.

It would be difficult for her behavior for me to not send up some red flags for the future of our relationship regardless of hormones. My wife never behaved this irrationally when she was pregnant. Hopefully it’s just a blip and their relationship is standing on a firmer foundation, but I’d expect a reaction like this to happen again sooner or later in the future.

she’s pregnant, hormonal, and scared. he texted her that and then turned his phone off, so for all she knows, he texted her and then intentionally ignored every call and text from her so he wouldn’t have to deal with her. it’s not like she didn’t try to contact him at all. in her eyes, after so many attempts at contact, she probably thought that was his final send off to her. i can’t say i wouldn’t be thinking the same in those circumstances honestly

But why on earth would he decide to break off a relationship involving houses, cars and a baby with a brief text, then just think he can "not deal with her" by not returning her calls? That makes no sense. He would have all sorts of things to sort out that night. It's a totally irrational conclusion, but an understandable one with pregnancy hormones.

Currently pregnant. A few weeks ago I spent the entire day crying about all the bad things in the world (a friend miscarrying, a stray cat dying, school shootings, etc.). These were all legitimate things to cry about, but I'm not someone who cries normally, and I really couldn't stop crying. The hormones can make you behave very differently.

Seems to be a first-world thing. This kind of stuffed wouldn't fly where my family's from. Like... maybe internally, but you'd be put in your place for an outburst, so it just didn't happen. ...Or... die, not because of murder, but because food didn't come easy, so you'd starve if you refused a meal.

Well yeah that is true, ops wife might have slight crazy tendency and the hormones could have just amplified that, but I've seen and heard some perfectly normal people do crazy shit while pregnant so I'm not going to assume he stuck his dick in crazy without him confirming.

Pregnant women. The blood doesn't travel in a straight line from privates to brain anymore, it has to go through a baby first and sometimes it takes a while to get up there and form a rational thought. That's just science.

I think packing my bags, calling a divorce lawyer and moving out over a dozen missed calls and a text is insane. This is someone you agreed to marry spend your life with, vowed your life with.

Why am I being made out to be the asshole for not giving up on a relationship after 8 hours?

If they wanted me to move out after they got home and said why and explained it, I would, then I would try talking to them again to see if things can be fixed, marriage councillor, finding out whatever is the issue.

All I'm saying is seems like there's some issues but was made clear pregnant chicks are insane and I wasn't aware of how insane. So I'm in the wrong here..

Take out the pregnancy, if you think this is normal and agreed with her choices, don't get married, I can promise you it will end in a divorce.

I have Verizon and live slightly out towards the country on a road that is notorious for bad cable/cell signal because the equipment is so out of date. But I literally have to get up and walk to the other side of my house to get a decent cell reception if someone calls me. "Can you hear me now? Good".

Just a disclaimer, but please take my comment with a grain of salt. I've never experienced what it's like to go through a pregnancy with someone else so I'm ignorant in regards to the situation's emotional wiring.

Having said that, maybe take a quick moment to sit down with your wife to talk about both of your feelings? It seems like she jumped to the conclusion that you were absolutely going to leave her very quickly, and I'm thinking that perhaps there could be some emotional insecurity on her side regarding your feelings towards her?
I'm sure everything is o.k., but it's never a bad idea to open up a channel of a communication with your loved one after a big emotional scare like that. I'd just simply do a quick check to see if everything is ok.

Generally a good idea, I'd say she's probably not actually insecure but pregnancy hormones make women do some really, really nutty things. And getting a text like that while pregnant is a literal nightmare; I mean think of getting that "we need to talk" text, just 1000x worse. That being said, I'd still talk to her about it.

If I got a text like this from my wife I would assume it had nothing to do with our relationship, as what kind of loser would say that via text to their spouse? Heck, who would say that in a text to anyone they were in a committed monogamous relationship with of 6 months or more?

You should pray it was the pregnancy hormones, because otherwise you probably have some issues to work out still.

Yeah, you really want to hope it was hormones. If a non-pregnant person leaped to conclusions like that, it would be quite a worry. Either the relationship would already by quite shaky, or they're one of those paranoid people who assumes the worst about everything

My wife posted earlier today on LA about this. Not using my main because my FIL knows it and I'm not quite ready to tell him about this.

I went to work today and turned my phone off as usual. I had almost 30 missed texts and calls from my pregnant wife when I turned it on. Most of them were asking how I could do this. I had no clue what she was talking about. She didn't answer any of my calls back.

I got home and she was packing up to leave. I'll admit it, I cried. A lot. Had no clue what was happening or what I did. Finally, it comes out that I texted her that I wanted a divorce. She showed me the text and I immediately realize what happened.

This morning, a free standing mirror for our bedroom was delivered. I texted her "the new mirror came in! I'm going to try to put it together but I may need your help later". I had trouble putting it together and eventually gave up. I texted her, "this isn't working, and at this point I think I need to just give up". Apparently, the first text didn't go through, just the second one. So my pregnant wife panicked for a few hours while I was off thinking everything was great. She even called a divorce lawyer.

Things are fine now but she's still crying off and on. She told me we can laugh about it tomorrow.

TL;DR Accidentally told my wife that things weren't working, she almost left me.

A few years ago at the launch of TF2 I joined a casual group of players and one of them asked for my cell phone number for texts regarding matches and whatnot. I added them to my contacts and at the time I was putting in complete information fields so there were no shorthand nicknames or anything. A short time later my cell phone fell out of my pocket at my parents place and I didn't notice and walked our dog back home. This was the era of small flip phones.

While I walked home, (roughly 15-20 minutes) my friend had texted and when he got no response started calling. My sister picked up my phone and saw the caller ID and refused to answer the call, the screen simply showed: Sugar. My sister immediately ran to my mom to rat me out apparently who then called my wife so that when I opened the front door there was my lovely wife holding a cup of iced tea for me. As I sipped she looked me in the eye and simply asked "So who's Sugar?" My mind a blank, I didn't know who Sugar was so I said as much.

You can imagine how pleasant the much faster drive with my wife back to my parents place to pick up my phone was. I took my phone, my sisters absolutely disappointed, my mom ready to murder me on the lawn. I opened the phone and saw a few missed texts, a call, and a voice mail. I laughed as soon as I read the texts about TF2, then confidently dialed my voicemail on speakerphone so everyone could hear it without checking it first. All they heard were the dulcet tones of a man calling me inappropriate names and asking why I wasn't joining up for a TF2 match. That was the last time my family worried about me cheating on my spouse, my wife was so relieved that my own family would turn on me in a heartbeat if I were cheating she rarely worries about me sneaking around as the punishment from her would never match what my mom would do.

So... without actually having a chance to even kind of know what was happening and talking to each other, your relationship almost fell apart? In 8 hours? Just like that, it was almost over? Just got a text, jumped to conclusions and a divorce lawyer was called? Hets are so fucking wild dude

Dude, if your wife immediately assumed you were breaking it off without trying to confirm it with you, you have some MAJOR communication issues in your relationship. It wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to a marriage counselor/couples therapist to help you two get back on the right track.

It may be the pregnancy hormones, but those were some serious mental gymnastics if you have a rock solid relationship. Is she having a lot of anxiety surrounding the baby? Is there something from your or her past that gives her pause?

Something just strikes me about the way she responded and I think you two may want to talk about it before the baby comes and your mutual stress gets cranked to a million. Don't worry about your in-laws, what matters is that your wife knows that you love her and you aren't going anywhere.

I'm sorry, but your wife doesn't seem all that bright. I mean divorce over a misunderstood text? Contacted a divorce lawyer? I hope that lawyer advised her to not jump to any rash conclusions and get clarification when you got home.

My pregnant(at the time) wife wanted some candy so we went to the store. We spent 45 minutes, yes 45 whole minutes not exaggerated, walking up and down the candy aisle. She cried at least 4 times, asked me to leave just to turn around at the entrance twice, and asked me to carry her out to the car when we finally left. She didn't buy anything.... I ended up going back to the store an hour later and bought just about every combination of candy I could find just to make her feel better, all that did was make her mad at me.

Well of course you cried, that had to be pretty emotionally devastating watching your wife pack up to leave you. Once it all blows over though, and she can laugh about it, you should see about writing it up as a potential episode for whatever sitcom is today's equivalent of Three's Company.

I find it weird that your pregnant wife’s first thought is “he want a divorce?” From a random no context text. I understand she tried to call 30 times but she knew you where at work. To me this sound like she is either insecure or there are problems with the marriage.

I have 3 kids and ill tell you there still is something not right about her reaction...so she is that willing to leave and call a lawyer without speaking to you directly beforehand? Who bases life decisions on text messages? IDK dude seems like there are underlying issues for her to make that leap...

Dont want to ruin the fun or antoine, but this kind of reaction from the wife doesnt usually happen before a lot of fear or anxiety gets built up in the first place. The misunderstanding may be real, but the trust still looks fragile to me

You've got a pregnant wife and you turned your phone off?
I left my phone on do not disturb one evening, while my wife was pregnant and we were house hunting. I pulled out my phone to about 12 missed calls and texts and panicked. Turned out the real estate agent heard back about a house, there was another biddee, so we had to move fast. That was two years ago and i still compulsively check my phone.

Bro she was calling a divorce lawyer without anykind of clarification being delivered. What if you get into a situation where you are 100% innocent but because of the situation you can't adequately explain yourself. What will she do then? I know what happened really isn't a big deal and was likely a result of hormonal fluctuation and this may be me, but that wouldn't sit right with me at all. Maybe its because I've never been married, and never had to deal with a pregnant SO for a lengthy period of time, but this whole situation sounds like there may be more to it than a simple misunderstanding.

That would worry the hell outta me if she called a divorce lawyer that quickly without even talking to you. This may have been a misunderstanding, but you may want to consider talking to someone together.

I think it's a bit much for anyones significant other to flip out that quickly over a text, so much so to even call a divorce lawyer without having a face to face conversation with you. Weird how she was so ready for you to leave her.

Ah, hormones. When my husband and I were going through IVF, I was hopped up on a cocktail of hormones and ended up so mad at my husband I threw a brush at the wall so hard it left a dent. I think he was breathing weird or saying something stupid.

I saw your post on r/legaladvice and I was so glad everything worked out. Other than tree law posts we don’t get a lot of happy endings over there.

Your wife has issues if that was seriously her response to the whole thing, even if she has pregnancy brain. That type of shit isn’t normal. My buddy is in a similar relationship and they are currently trying to comceive, it scares the shit out of me.

Something similar happened to my parents! One day my mom was out walking our dog Dusty when she suddenly became light headed. She texted my dad "I feel faint, please come pick me up at [location]" followed up with "I'm walking Dusty". He only got the second message and replied "Have fun!".

She’s pregnant, hormonal, scared, and vulnerable. She has more than just her to think about now with the baby coming. Of course she panicked. Would it have been better to wait and talk about it? Yes. Was she thinking logically at the time? Probably not. If this is all the evidence you have to get a divorce, it’s weak.

Im sure you have a good reason, and im sure its been said, but if you have a pregnant wife, i would try to find a way to keep your phone on or somehow be reachable. Idk if this is your first kid or you have experience but anything can happen at any time that maybe wont be as humorous as todays situation.

Wow, hey, you maybe want to think about this, she started to pack for ONE message? I understand she feel insicure and fragile because of her pregnancy but is a bit extreme , perhaps you and her should take some time to talk about it....

Wow was there underlying tension already in your marriage? Man i hope you held her tight after that.

I remember one time my ex and i were on the train, her home being a few stops before mine. She asked me a question and i was so out of it that i just stared off into space. Her stop came up so she stood to get off. Normally id give her a kiss or a hug but feeling like i did i figured itd be okay to just keep zoning, esp since we’d been together for so long. Anyway i get home and feel really uneasy... i always trust my intuition so i called an uber and rushed back to her place. I opened the door to find her bawling her eyes out to her roommate telling her that she thinks its over and that i was giving up based on how distant i was to her. The exact opposite was true! Man i was so glad i listened to my gut.

We did end up separating on very good terms a year later, but yes i understand how terrifying those little misunderstandings can be.

I'm kind of concerned if the relationship is really that strong all going to work out in the long term considering she freaked out and thought you were being serious over one message where you didn't even directly say it was to do with your marriage

Just shows how solid some couples are haha, being ready for divorce and calling a lawyer mere moments after receiving a text like that from the person you're waiting a baby with without even asking "why" or something...

I would SO much love to see you two laugh about this tomorrow!
Sure, right now it's still a shock, but if you two truly love each other (and judging by the individual reactions you absolutely do!!!) there won't be much that can top this FU and it will always give you a reason to laugh together!

That's a rather extreme reaction to a very ambiguous text message followed by someone "turning their phone off as usual" at work.

She actually started packing up and called a divorce lawyer without waiting until you finish work to switch your phone back on? Wow.

I see people claiming pregnancy hormones and I get that to a certain extent as my wife became a little eccentric both times but this is on a different level and suggests something a little deeper. Surely there has to be an issue of security in the relationship to address once the dust has settled because this is extreme.

She actually called a divorce lawyer without waiting until you finish work and switch your phone back on? Wow.

Fucking hell, all this for a text? Calling a divorce lawyer, writing an essay on reddit. Damn. She couldn’t even wait to ask you why or what you meant... . A normal reaction would be a more surprised one and be like ‘wtf?’

Came home from work after a twelve hour day. Sat down next to pregnant wife on couch. She pulled my feet onto her lap, took off my shoes and started smelling my socks, the ones that had been in leather shoes for 12 hours! I burst out laughing, she quickly followed.

The timeline here is murky. You text her while you’re at home putting a mirror up in the bedroom then suddenly are at work with your phone off. Not saying it’s impossible, but there’s quite a few gaps here...

Something similar happened to a friend of mine, although in his case autocorrect was to blame. He texted his partner and tried to write "It's time to par-tay." Autocorrect changed it to "It's time to part ways." Awkward conversation ensued.

If that kind of psychotic, irrational, and impulsive behavior is a sign of things to come; I’d say you should just let that nut-job go right ahead and file those divorce papers to save you the trouble and headache of having to put up with that psycho. Given this test, It seems more like you just dodged a bullet. Run away fast! I actually fear for your life if you chose to stay with this wack-job. Get out while you can!