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Saturday, 7 April 2012

BOND WITH THE BRAND

So Daniel Craig, as James Bond, is going to be swigging a beer in his next movie and not his trade-mark Martini. Heineken has already thought of it as the best thing that has happened to them since they started brewing the bubbly in 1873. I am reminded of the time when a corporate honcho sought an audience with the Pope and Pope was visibly disturbed and screamed "Noooooo". All that the corporate boss wanted the Pope to do was to change just one word in the prayer; instead of 'Give us this day our daily bread', he had suggested, "Give us this day our daily Kellogg's"

Whatever way you look at it, Martini suited the Licensed to Kill eminently especially with his bevy of beauties. Great many jokes, limericks and ditties came up about the cocktail of gin and vermouth that James Bond sipped whilst lounging on a beach with danger lurking not far from him. One of these is:

Martinis, my girl, are deceptive,
Have two at the most;
Three, you are under the table,
Four, you are under the host.

I think it was Noel Coward who said, "The best way to make Martini is to have gin in a glass and then wave it in the general direction of Italy." That's the reach of advertising; you find the ads everywhere asking you to do this, wear that, eat this, drive that and so on. You are swayed a little. However, nothing sways you with the same force as when a celebrity endorses it. When Kapil Dev told us, "Palmolive da jawab nahin" (There is nothing like (shaving with) Palmolive), a vast number of men got convinced that it would not only give them a good shave but also may help them to become cricketing all-rounders amongst the best in the world.

Opinions would be divided whether a beer drinking Bond would appear as svelte as he appears nursing a glass of Martini. After all, beer is more associated with a belly than with belles; burp more than with melody. However, chances are that beer drinking may get associated with laissez faire after Bond has sipped it and about to throw the can away and sees in the can the reflection of an attacker getting ready to attack him from behind.

Other than Bond with his Martini, the world of advertisement is nostalgic about ads about smoking. How coolly the hero used to take the last puffs of a cigarette, stub it out with his white shoes and then only turn to the pack of ruffians waiting to be thrammed by him. Ah, the promise of Marlboro country where men would be men and horses would be horses. Or the guy who would effortlessly win a sailing regatta and the first thing that he would do after that would be to puff at his Scissors, with his sexy dame on his side, and the voice over would say, "For men of action - satisfaction."

Cold drinks or soft-drinks are the hot - nay, cold favourites of the ad-makers; nothing has changed from the time a young Rekha sensuously sipped on her Gold Spot and suggestively crooned, "Taazgi ka maza lijiye, pyaas apni bujha lijiye." (Enjoy the taste of freshness; quench your thirst); and, all of us watching the a mango juice drop, in slow motion, seductively falling on Katrina Kaif's lips. "What good luck has a drop of yellow juice, as compared to us, who only watch those succulent lips from a distance", thousands of men bemoaned .

Ads on detergents too have been the kind that do everything except deter gents;
ladies' views are reserved on this since they are often shown to be
using the soaps for bringing back the whiteness in the clothes, whilst
wiping the sweat on their brows. One can think of Surf Excel, or a
numbered detergent like 501, but the ad campaign that took India by
storm was, without doubt, that of Nirma Washing Powder. It became iconic and decisively showed what ads can do to the popularity and hence, sales of products:

Other than sensuousness, and coolness, humour in ads has been a great
sell. The funnier the ad, the more people see it and like it. I remember
the time when Coca Cola was selected as "Official sponsor" of the
Cricket ODI World Cup, Pepsi came up with a highly successful,
imaginative and comical ad, "Nothing 'official' about it."

So, now that Bond has to 'Officially' drink beer, perhaps the day is not far, when Bond, like our own action hero Akshay Kumar, will do anything to 'Taste the Thunder'. Bye bye, Martini.

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Holding the Mirror

I have done a long stint in the Indian Navy that lasted for nearly thirty seven years; I rose as far as my somewhat rebellious and irreverant nature allowed me to. On retirement, the first thing that occured to me, and those around me, was that I Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (you will find an article with this title in this blog) and hadn't lost all my noodles and hence thought of my blog This 'n That.

I detest treading the beaten track. This blog offers me to air 'another way' of looking at things. The idea is not just to entertain but also to bring about a change.

Impudent or otherwise, I have never been insousciant and I am always concerned about the betterment of community, nation and the world. I hope the visitors of this blog would be able to discern it.

Previews

Now that our Raksha Mantri (Defence Minister), Shri AK Antony, has, like all politicians before him and probably after him, shown aversion to talk to his service chiefs we need to examine why is it so. Even our bureaucrats are used to putting the uniformed personnel in their place. We have reached a situation in our country when the collective neglect, indifference and aversion of the government, administrative and police towards the armed forces has made this honourable profession one of the least attractive of all professions in India for the youth of the country. (Read more in 'Admiral and Mantri Ji' under the section 'In Lighter Vein')_____

I believe that it is not just 'we are what we think'; but, also, the universe is what we think it is. Surprised? Hogwash? We often refer to it as 'magic' or 'supernatural' what we cannot understand. Those who can let their imagination take wing can 'see' and 'hear' things better than others; something that we have called ESP (Extra Sensory Perception). So, in order to carry forward this argument, what if the saints and spiritual leaders before us had discovered that senses can get us only so far and no more; and that going beyond the senses may be the way to go. That is, the expression "are you out of your senses" may not descibe you as an idiot but as a great intellectual? (Read more in 'Being Non-Sensical May Be Far Sighted' under 'Philosophy' section)_______

Navy is a true international service; it is because most often than not it operates beyond 12 nautical miles of the coast and hence in international waters called the high seas. Our counterparts from the Army and the Air Force rarely leave the country whereas we do it on an everyday basis; in almost every sailing we leave the territorial limits of the country. (Read more in 'Foreign Jaunts' under 'Navy - Nostalgia')______

We don't have to go as far back as my grandparents times; if Valentine Day had to become popular during my dad's times, how would it have been? My dad died of an accident when he was just 56, one year younger than I am now. During his days, except for in movies, couples never publicly expressed love for each other. It would be indirectly hinted rather than 'in-your-face' proclamation. There were no Valentine Day cards or other accessories. (Read more in 'If Dad and Mom Had to Celebrate Valentine Day' in 'Life is like that')______

She loved him. He loved her. There was a thick white line between their ends of the court. The match started.

First, she held her breath, extended her arm and muttering ""Love, love, love.." went charging into his side of the court. If only she could touch him and return across the thick white line. (Read more in 'Love and Fencing' under 'Stories')______

They finally found him not in a cave in a mountain but in a huge mansion in Abbottabad, a few hundred metres away from Pak Military Academy. I was reminded of this scene in Mel Brooks' Silent Movie in which they are looking for Burt Reynold's house whilst standing in front of a huge mansion with a large sign atop the house with his name on it that even the blind would have had difficulty in missing. (Read more in 'Osama, Obama, O Mama' under Opinions)_____

South Bombay prided itself in having the finest of the theatres patronised by decent crowds; the type who would be aware as well as well mannered: Regal and Strand in Colaba, Eros at Church Gate, Metro at Dhobi Talao, New Empire, Liberty and Sterling and later New Excelsior near Flora Fountain. There was Akaashvaani near LIC Building and one could watch good repertoire of movies there devoted to a theme. (Read more in 'My Young Days of Watching Movies in South Bombay' under Music and Cinema)

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Sometimes I feel life is blaséAn alluring mirage that I chase.Sounds of fun and laughter areLike gunshotsPiercing through my heart. (Read more in 'If Only' under Poems and Limericks)

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How we admire the wisdom of those who come to us for advice! Indeed, some people are convinced that rendering advice is a fundamental right at par with such other rights as Right to Speech, Right to Religion, and Right to Property...(Read more in 'One Good Advice Deserves Another' under 'Humour')_________

Recently, when we watched the movie ‘3 Idiots’, we were entranced by the song ‘All Is Well’...(Read more in 'All Is Not Well' under 'Opinions')_________

The other day, a really dear friend came home to share the evening meal. The conversation drifted to the propensity of the senior hierarchy of the Navy to get entangled in trivial matters...(read more in 'During Our Days' under 'Navy - No One Asked Me But...')_________

No, this is not the end of radio communications; Roger is the name of our Labrador retriever. Like any retriever he is happiest when he is out...(Read more in 'Roger Out' under 'Humour')