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HAPPY MAN
A teacher -in a Liverpool school
., wag trying to find from a tiny child
the name of his father. He seemed
(quite unable to think of it, so to
help him she asked:
"What do you call him?"
"I call him father," was the reply.
"Well, what does your mother call
him?"
The response was eloquent of the
manners of the neighborhood.
"She doesn't call him anything
she likes him."
ABSTEMIOUS
"I'm not eating very much of late."
"What's the matter, old man? Lost
4 your appetit.e?"
"No; my credit." Boston Tran
script. o o
HE WON'T DO
"Is Smithson an intelligent, well
informed man?"
"Unusually so. As a juror he is
JJjilways rejected by the attorneys on
both sides!"
-SO I VLL HOT
TOUCH OENV J
TOUCH ON JIMMY
Some time ago a wild young animal
named Jimmy, was promoted from
the third grade in a public school to
the fourth. The teacher in the fourth
grade was young and timid, and,
knowing Jimmy's reputation, there
came a great fear in her gentle little
heart. With Jimmy's old teacher,
however, it was different
"If you have any trouble with him,"
said the third-grade teacher to the
fourth, "just send him downstairs to
me. Til fix his feet for him."
A week went by and one day Jimmy
appeared at the third-grade teacher's
door. Little schoolmarm got right on
the job. Without any preliminaries
Jimmy was yanked into the room,
laid across her knee and beautifully
fanned.
"Now, then, Master Jimmy," said
the teacher, releasing the youngster,
"what have you to say for yourself?"
"Please, Miss Mary," was the start
ling rejoinder of Jimmy, "Miss Mag
gie wants to know if you won't please
lend her your penknife."
-O o
A POOR JOB
"I am inclined to tnink," said a
man, "that our friend, Mr. Grafton
Grabb, was created on the Sabbath."
"For what reason?"
"We are told that an honest man
is the noblest work of the Creator,
and also that on the seventh day the
Creator rested." -N. Y. World.
TIPPING HIM OFF
The ferret-eyed little man stepped
across the street car aisle, and whis
pered into the ear of the tall chap in
a gray suit:
"You'd better wipe that bit of egg
off your chin. The income tax man
is just two seats in front of you."
CLINCHED IT
"They say, dear, that people who
live together get in time to look ex-,
actly alike."
"Then you may consider my. re-
IfusalfinaUr . i
.ah, titit.