The Truth about Online Dating

Dating is hard, and today’s technological world has only made it harder. So many of us struggle with feeling disconnected from others in a world where it seems that almost everything is shared through text messages or social media sites. Whereas we once picked up a phone to check in with a friend, now we “like” Facebook posts or comment on others Instagram photos as a means of staying in touch. Not surprisingly, most of today’s dating has gone online, as well. Many singles have given up on the idea of meeting someone face-to-face and are now hoping to find love behind a computer screen.

Dating is hard, and today’s technological world has only made it harder. So many of us struggle with feeling disconnected from others in a world where it seems that almost everything is shared through text messages or social media sites. Whereas we once picked up a phone to check in with a friend, now we “like” Facebook posts or comment on others Instagram photos as a means of staying in touch. Not surprisingly, most of today’s dating has gone online, as well. Many singles have given up on the idea of meeting someone face-to-face and are now hoping to find love behind a computer screen.

In theory, these sites may sound like a good idea: access to thousands of singles in your area all looking for love; connecting with them as easy as sending a quick message. Yet, as professional match makers we meet so many clients who have tried this method with no luck.

Misrepresentation is a common theme amongst dissatisfied online daters. Our clients tell the match makers that a large majority of profiles have exaggerations ranging in magnitude from minute to egregious. If someone is too attractive, alarm bells go off, warning a potential suitor that this profile may belong to an online scammer hoping to woo you out of money. When dealing with legitimate profiles, it’s not uncommon for singles to post unnaturally flattering or, in many cases, outdated photos that no longer represent what he or she really looks like. Not many are bold enough to question a potential date’s photos and find themselves disappointed when arriving to find their date looks less like Angelina Jolie and more like Angela Lansbury. A professional matchmaker wants you to be happy meeting the person they set you up with.

Looks aren’t the only thing in question when dating online. Recent studies have shown that nearly half of online daters fib about their job titles and/or salaries. Posting deceptive job titles and financial stats may be a warning sign of future disappointments or dishonesty. Either this person does not have a long term relationship in mind, and therefore does not fear the unveiling of their actual professional standing, or they are comfortable lying to people in hopes of getting what they want.

If you are one of the few lucky enough to stumble upon a profile created honestly and accurately, prepare yourself to sift through a plethora of generic information. And while it’s good to share common interests, there’s more to a successful relationship than a mutual love for hiking or the beach. Highly impersonalized, it’s nearly impossible to gauge who someone really is based on a 100 word “About Me” blurb shared online. There is no way of knowing whether this person shares similar goals fundamental to a successful relationship. This ambiguity leads to lengthy email chains before even agreeing to meet up for an evening. All that work and still no guarantee that this is someone with whom you could connect on a deeper level.

Conversely, online dating sites are also creating a culture of “fast food” dating. Presented with so many readily available options, daters neglect to put in the time needed to connect with another human being. They want quick and easy results, and if a potential date is not readily available, they are on to the next profile, cultivating a mindset that values quantity over quality. And while dating should be easy, it is not effortless.

Online dating may not be your solution if you are looking for a lasting relationship. Relationships require honesty, passion, shared goals and commitment. And while you may be ready for a genuine connection, it’s nearly impossible to tell if your online counterpart has what it takes or is even capable of being the person you are looking for. However, don’t let this discourage you. Murphy International is a highly selective, professional match making agency, and we work with hundreds of amazing singles who are not only ready for a relationship, but who also value the intrinsic pillars of a successful relationship. We understand that our clients are complex and unique, not mere 100 word blurbs. Our match makers get to know all of our clients personally and only connect those whom we feel have the potential for a lasting relationship. Every professional match maker will make thoughtful matches, work to help you find your unique and perfect partner.