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Men can win at marriage. You can win, too. Start with a goal in mind. Winning at marriage doesn't mean winning an argument. You don't win by morphing your woman into a Stepford wife. And she doesn't win by you being morphed into Alan Alda. You win at marriage when you win your wife's heart.

Think about when you dated your wife. It was the easiest thing in the world to focus on her happiness. She made your every dream come true; and you lived to please her. If you're like most couples, though, the glow began to dim sometime after the walk down the aisle. It became harder for you to focus on each other's needs. Conflicts intruded on your bliss. Always hopeful, you wait and wait for the glow to return. And when that moment comes, you'll once again meet each other's needs. There's only one flaw in that plan: the glow won't return on its own. It's up to you to bring it back.

Let me repeat: It's up to you to bring it back. Don't buy the lore that men can't be good at relationship building skills. If you want to improve your marriage, then you have to use your fix-it skills to do it. Because once your wife knows she is the focus of your life, she'll return your love and build a better relationship by your side. Then the embers will heat up again.

I've traveled over the country telling men how they can find happiness in their marriages. Here's a summary of the eight ways to win your wife's heart.forever.