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President Obama is currently on a week-long trip to Africa, where he will promote freedom, democracy, and economic opportunity. I guess he figured it hasn’t worked here — so try it somewhere else.

The Girl Scouts announced that their pension plan has a $347 million deficit. The Girl Scouts are $347 million in debt so in addition to teaching girls about camping it also is preparing them for careers in government.

The White House science advisor said a War on Coal is what’s needed to fight carbon pollution. Miners should rejoice. If the War on Coal goes as well as the War on Drugs, every no-smoking section in he country will make an exception for coal-powered laptops.

President Obama warned of climate change Tuesday and called for wind and solar to replace coal and oil as America’s energy sources. He needs new consultants. People voted for the president to get free health care, they’re not about to give up air conditioning.

Mexico theme park Parque EcoAlberto opened a twenty-minute attraction that takes people through a fake U.S. border crossing. It’s complete with wolves, fences, and angry shouts from U.S. border agents. It’s so lifelike. If you get all the way through it, they give you a three thousand dollar refund for your child tax credit and an EBT card for lunch.

Hillary Clinton’s image appeared on buttons, hats and shirts for sale Tuesday as her campaign got underway. Hollywood’s making a movie about her life in DC right after college. The casting directors are interviewing sacks of cash to play the role of her first love.

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This entry was posted on June 30, 2013 at 10:41 AM and is filed under humor.
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