Heart broken cat owner

by Tom Buckingham
(Calgary, Alberta, Canada)

My little kitten

I have a 15 week old kitten who is the most amazing cat I or my wife have ever owned and he was so playful with both of us up until a couple of weeks ago when he all of a sudden for no reason decided that he wants to play with my wife and wants nothing to do with me. When my wife leaves for work he would play with me just like he would with her and all of a sudden he started disappearing when the wife leaves only to reappear when she gets home and he used to sleep up on the bed right next to me all night and that changed too at the same time. He's so sneaky about it too, acting like he wants to play with me when she is here and then ignoring me when she leaves the house. He runs out of the room when I walk into it and runs and hides. He is starting to give me a complex. He acts like he’s my buddy when its feeding time, rubbing up against my leg and purring and then as soon as he’s done eating I'm the enemy again. Can you give me an explanation for this?, is this normal or should I switch to birds? they seem to love me. I would be eternally grateful for any advice you can give me. Thanks in advance. Tom.

Dear TomI am sorry to say that i did have a big smile on my face when i read your question. Why? Because i know cats and have seen their behaviours for many years and I have to say that your cat has nothing against you what so ever. Two things are happening here. First of all your kitten is growing up and every day and week by week and month by month he will go through many different changes of behaviour and likes and dislikes and routines. Secondly your perception of what is going on is simply one of our human traits, we take things personally and this simply is not true when you are talking about our relationship with our pets.

I have two 2 year old brothers cats who I can honestly say have gone through so many different changes in the last 2 years I have lost count. One week they love to play with us, next no way. Then they will sit on our laps , next no way. One cat may make me his favourite for a few months, next he’s all over by boyfriend. Then it all changes again.

As you can see it is just like having a teenager in the home, they are discovering new things all the time, they are going through physical changes too.

At 15 weeks your male kitten will be changing dramatically regarding his hormones etc. My two cats were neutered at 4 months, so your male cat is coming up to this time too. Expect many changes and don’t take it personally. You wait things will all change again ina few weeks time.