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4 Reasons Bobby Jindal Has No Chance of Being President

June 24, 2015by terrance

4 Reasons Bobby Jindal Has No Chance of Being President

Two years ago Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal urged the GOP to “stop being the stupid party.” Jindal went on to become the primary leader of “the stupid party.” Now, he’s running to be leader of the free world.

What happened? Here are 4 things you need to know about Bobby Jindal to answer that question.

Jindal will always be known for giving one of the worse State of the Union responses ever.

Back when his star was still rising, and he was made out to be the GOP’s answer to Obama (because he was “brown”), Jindal was tapped to give the GOP response to the 2008 State of the Union address. It was abysmal, even by the usual low expectations for these rebuttals. Where Obama was engaging, Jindal was boring. Were Obama’s delivery soared, Jindal’s was scripted. Where Obama was inspiring, Jindal was anything but.

But one bad speech isn’t enough to tank political aspirations. It took more than that to do in any chance Jindal had of becoming president.

Instead of persuading the GOP to “stop being the stupid party,” Jindal became the candidate of “the stupid party.”

Republicans were gathered at a retreat in Charlotte, North Carolina, to regroup after Democrats retained the White House and gained seats in Congress in the 2012 elections. Jindal’s star still shone brightly enough that Republicans not only listened, but applauded when Jindal accused the party of “looking backwards,” of being obsessed with “identity politics,” and demanded that the GOP “stop insulting the intelligence of voters,”

Jindal aimed some of his barbs at conservative candidates whose outlandish comments on topics like contraception, rape, abortion, and the Second Amendment torpedoed their campaigns and reflected poorly on the Republican party. “We had a number of Republicans damage the brand this year with offensive and bizarre comments,” Jindal said. The clear implication was that the GOP couldn’t afford to run any more candidates who made “offensive and bizarre comments.”

So, what happened? Jindal became one of those candidates who made “offensive and bizarre comments.”

Following a speech at the South Carolina Freedom Summit, Jindal blamed President Obama for racial unrest in places like Ferguson and Baltimore, where police officers have killed unarmed black men. “We’re not just talking about Baltimore or some of the incidents recently, but I’ve said I think for quite some time the president continues to divide us,” Jindal told reporters after his speech.

Why would Jindal do a 180º turn, to march in lockstep with “the stupid party?”

Whatever else he may be, as an ivy-league educated Rhodes Scholar with an Oxford degree, Jindal is an intelligent man. He probably realized that the crowded GOP field is his only chance at grabbing the nomination. Instead of winning a majority, all he needs to do is win a plurality against a record number of opponents. And since he can hardly run on his record in Louisiana (I’ll get to that shortly) flinging at much red meat as possible is Jindal’s best hope of appealing to the basest of the GOP base — the people who come out to vote in primaries and caucuses.

Jindal has cast his lot with the theocratic wing of the GOP.

Forget about not being “the stupid party.” At some point, Jindal must have realized that that his best shot in the primaries was to cast his lot with the farthest right of the GOP’s religious-right base.

Jindal has a terrible record as governor of Louisiana, and only has conservative ideology to blame.

If Rob Reiner made a movie about Bobby Jindal’s term as governor of Louisiana, he might call it “When Bobby Met Grover.” It wouldn’t be a romantic comedy either. For some, it might be a horror movie.

It happens to the best of us. Things are going great, and then you meet someone. It looks like the beginning of a beautiful relationship, but it’s really your first step into oblivion. Your friends turn their backs in disgust, as you end up broke, and stuck in a toxic relationship you can’t get out of.

Jindal decided not to run in 2012, but once Norquist’s endorsement roused his presidential ambitions, Jindal would do just about anything to remain in Norquist’s good graces — including sticking to Norquist’s ridiculously rigid notions of what counts as a tax increase. Thus Jindal insisted that the legislature balance the budget without anything resembling a tax increase. Playing by Norquist’s rules, that means almost anything that increases revenue is off the table.

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Oh, come on. Christian Bale has a point. If Moses were around today — “hearing voices” and acting out — he’d probably be diagnosable as schizophrenic. After all, when people “hear voices” today, they end up as mental health patients, not prophets.