lessons learnedLessons
From Boudreaux
This
backwoods boy can teach you the important things in life. JACK
RUNNINGER, O.D.

I've
always loved "Boudreaux" stories. Not only because most of the tales of the Cajun
folk character are right funny, but also because many of them illustrate a great
lesson about life.

Lesson
#1

There are usually simple answers to the mysteries
of life.

Boudreaux and Pierre was walkin' through
the woods one day, when he says, "Whooee, Pierre, look at dat big hole! I wonder
how deep it goes." They find a rock, and trow it into da hole, listenin' to see
how long it will take to hit the bottom. They don't hear anything so dey try it
again with a bigger rock, but still don't hear it hit.

Boudreaux notices a railroad tie lying
in the bushes, picks it up, and throws it in the hole. While they are listening
for it to hit bottom, a little billy goat comes runnin' out of the bushes and jumps
into the hole.

A few minutes later their friend Thibodeaux
comes walking out of the bushes. He asks, "Has anyone seen my little billy goat?"

"You wanna hear somethin' strange?"
said Boudreaux. "A little billy goat came runnin' out of them bushes and jumped
right into dat deep hole right dere."

"That couldn't have been my billy goat,"
said Thibodeaux. "My billy goat was tied to a railroad tie back in dose bushes."

Lesson #2

You can't always tell the level of intelligence
of another person by how they talk, how they dress, or how far they've gone in school.

Boudreaux's first military assignment
was advisin' new recruits about their government issue (GI) insurance. Before long,
the captain began noticin' dat Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up for the top insurance.
This was odd, because it would cost these poor inductees nearly $30 a month extra.
So he decides to sit in on the next session to observe Boudreaux's sales pitch.

"If you have da normal GI insurance
and go to Iraq and get killed," said Boudreaux to the recruits, "da government pays
your beneficiary $6,000. If you take out de supplemental insurance, which cost you
only $30 a month, the government has to pay your beneficiary $200,000.

You can't believe everything you hear. (This adage
has become even more apropos with the advent of the Internet and e-mail, together
a veritable breeding ground for erroneous tales.)

Boudreaux been fish'n down da bayou
all day, when he seen a big snake wif a frog in his mouf. He knowed them big bass
like dem frogs, so he decided he is gonna steal it from the snake. Dat snake be
a cotton mouf water moccasin, so he had to be real careful not to get bit.

He snuk up behin' dat snake and grabbed
him roun da head. Now Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or he's gonna
bite him. But he had a plan. He takes a pint of moonshine likker out of his bib
overalls and pours some in da snake's mouf. The snake kinder rolls his eyeballs,
and lets loose of the frog. Then Boudreaux toss dat snake into da bayou.

He goes back to fishin', and a while
later he feels somepin' tappin' on his barefoot toes. He look down and dere wuz
dat water moccasin ... wit' two more frogs.

JACK RUNNINGER,
OUR CONSULTING EDITOR, LIVES IN ROME, GA. HE'S
ALSO A PAST EDITOR OF OM. CONTACT HIM AT RUNNINGERJ@COMCAST.NET