Since I first learned of Bill the Ninja Killer, I’ve been uneasy. Always has the silent assassin existed at the height of the pseudo-Japanese/anime food chain. But now, with a mere word, Bill and his ilk can upset the balance forever.

In order to protect this cherished order of helpless trained killers, I have compiled quick list of ways in which you can differentiate between a Ninja and a Terrorist. Spread this list far and wide, and perhaps together, we can save a Ninja:

#1:This is a towel.This is a ski mask.Nuff said.

#2:The terrorists weapons of choice are explosives. You will most likely notice them strapped to the terrorists’ chest.

The ninja’s weapon of choice is the katana. If you see him wielding one, you will most likely notice it protruding from your chest.

#3When a terrorist intends to kill you, they will send you a video of themselves. This will mostly involve a lot of screaming, some posturing, and an annoying penchant for making a shrill “LALALALALA” sound right after declaring Jihad on you.

When a ninja is going to kill you, you hear nothing until the deafening silence is broken by the whisper of your last breath leaving your body.

These are a few of the most basic ways to differentiate between the terrorist and the ninja. Feel free to add more in the comments.

Ignorance is no excuse. If you have no idea what sparked this post, start reading here.