Why Are Penises Always Funny In Movies?

After seeing “Bruno,” one of my male friends went on a 5-minute rant about how penises in movies are always played for laughs. In his opinion, the nudity law of cinema is that when a woman’s naked, it’s completely serious or titillating, but when a peen pops up on screen, it’s meant to be hilarious. He repeatedly asked the question—why?While I haven’t seen “Bruno,” I do recall “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” where the full-frontal shot of Jason Segal as he’s about to get dumped serves to make you chuckle and up the awkwardness during an otherwise poignant scene. Honestly, the only man meat scene I can think of that was supposed to be truly dramatic was when Mark Wahlberg lets it all hang out at the end of “Boogie Nights.” While it was meant to be serious, I still remember cracking up.

“A recent New York Times story on the science of desire found that women, more than men, were turned on by pictures of heterosexual sex, homosexual sex, monkey sex, naked female bodies, and naked male bodies if the fellow in question was erect. Just about the only thing they weren’t turned on by? An attractive man without a boner.”

And since showing an erect penis is a no-no in major motion pictures—that’s what gets you an X rating—it seems that filmmakers are left with but one option to portray the peen: humorously.

As funny as flaccid is, any girl with hormones must admit that there’s some sadness in knowing that the only way to view a steamy naked male at full mass is in porn. Do you think there will ever be a day when we’ll be able to see that pistol in men’s pockets? Or are we forever doomed to take after Mae West and live by the euphemism while laughing at the limp?