A small spot for me to publish random thoughts that might help other writers find that tiny voice echoing feebly inside their heads.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Notable Narrative - Indian Summer Shark Attack!

Sometimes,
it isn't just dialogue or a steamy love scene that captures the
interest. This particular scene is one I wrote when I
first started Indian Summer nearly 20 years ago. I began the novel,
but couldn't capture Gabriella's voice. Discouraged, I put the
notebook in a drawer and left it. One day, I was cleaning the drawer
and found the notebook once more. I read through it, discarding most
of it as crap, but this scene, I kept. I found Gabriella's voice in
this scene and was able to begin again. This scene is almost word for
word what I originally wrote.

The
ocean felt blood warm and comforting. I hadn't realized how much my
body ached from my new activities. The tension of the last few weeks
washed from my body as the water closed over me. It buoyed me up,
letting me float gently on the waves. I closed my eyes to the bright
morning sun and rested. I didn't realize how far I drifted, for the
tide was going out. I heard a noise, a shout from the beach and
looked up. I was much further out than I intended and began to swim
slowly back in.

Before
I saw what was happening, a man dove into the water and swam rapidly
past me. It was not until then I saw the fin on the water. Shark! I
could formulate no other thoughts but the horror of that image, that
word. I had seen people attacked by sharks, their bodies torn and
bloody, bloated from the water they died in. I swam for my life as
quickly as I could. The man met the shark not far from the shore. I
scrambled out, running to my clothing. I had the ridiculous notion
that it would somehow protect me. There was a battle going on in the
waves, but I couldn't see it clearly. The man raised his knife, the
sun glittering off the blade. He brought it down on the shark again
and again with a dull, liquid thunk.
Blood was everywhere, but whether it was his or the shark's I didn't
know.

Forgetting
my clothing for the moment, I grabbed my knife. Foolishly, I dashed
back into the water as man and shark dove under! I couldn't see
either of them, just blood on the waves. A small ripple where they
went down was the only other thing visible. Suddenly, the water
beside me erupted as a huge shark leapt out of the water not five
feet from me! I screamed, frozen to the spot. I saw the knife in its
ugly, brutish head, between its eyes. It was fighting fiercely,
despite numerous stab wounds.

Clinging
to it stubbornly was a man. Sailfish! He was covered in blood,
slipping from the shark's hide. The vicious beast gave a last squirm
as the life left it. It shivered once more and died. Sailfish drew
his blade from it, racing toward me.

"Run!"
He yelled.

I
was stupefied, I couldn't make my legs work. I stood there naked and
dripping, too terrified to move.

"Run!"
He yelled again. "Gabriella, get out of the water!"

Before
he finished speaking, I saw the fins racing toward all the blood,
toward us! I turned and ran, splashing and flailing to get to shore.
He caught up with me, righting me as I fell. Impatient at my lack of
speed, he lifted me out of the water, carrying me to the sand. His
long legs covered the distance in less time than it takes to tell of
it. I stared in shock and horror as the dead shark danced crazily in
the water, the others tearing its carcass to pieces in a horrific
frenzy! A scream threatened to erupt from my throat. I opened my
mouth, but no sound came out. Gradually, the furor died down and the
sharks swam away. Nothing was left of the dead one. I sank to my
knees, retching. I had not eaten yet that morning, so it was dry
heaves. Sometimes that's worse than actually vomiting. I became aware
of strong hands helping me sit up, of the same hands dressing me like
a baby and the muscular arms around me, holding me while I cried.

All
the sorrow, anger, and fear that had built in me since the night of
my capture, came pouring out in a flood of tears. I felt so safe in
his arms. I clung to him, weeping as if my heart were broken. He held
me, rocked me, and stroked my hair, all the while speaking in low
monotones. None of it made sense to me for he spoke in his own
tongue, but the flow of the words and the tone were comforting. I
cried a long time, finally coming to a stop. He continued to hold me,
giving me his comfort.

Soon,
however, the touch changed, I felt the comforting become a caress as
a lover would touch his beloved. I don't know why, but I felt a
tingling sensation for the first time since we met. He was so strong,
virile, warm and so alive. He stopped rocking me, but continued to
hold me, turning my tear-streaked face gently to his. I gazed into
his jet black eyes, lost in their depths. His strong jaw was working,
trying to hold the emotions in. I felt his manhood pressing against
me and faltered in my resolve.

God
help me, I loved Manuel! How could I dishonor him by kissing another
man? Even as I thought this, Sailfish lowered his lips to mine and
kissed me with a passion not even Manuel had equaled. I melted into
his embrace, his lips locked with mine, his tongue probing my mouth.
I burned inside, my heart fluttering like a trapped bird. I felt
swept away as if the ocean waves had carried me off into the water
once more. Wave after hot wave coursed through my body. He touched me
all the places I knew he shouldn't, but somehow I couldn't bring
myself to stop him. I was so tired of fighting desire, sick of saying
no, weary of being proper.

I
believe I would have allowed him to continue had we not heard shouts
coming from on the mound. There was a ruckus on the river side of the
island. Reluctantly, he let go of me, turning to the lookout.
Sailfish called out to him, demanding to know what was wrong. I
couldn't understand his answer, for they spoke in their native
tongue. Sailfish all but dumped me on the sand as he rose and ran
toward the camp, shouting as he went. I gathered myself up running
after him, curious and afraid all at once.