Sunday, February 19, 2012

Last Thursday, I had the privilege of attending a private screening of BOX OF SALVATION. It is a documentary about Cheryl Nasso who overcame anorexia to become one of the top female Crossfit athletes in the world.

I've been doing Crossfit on and off for over a year. Cheryl is one of the trainers at my "box". She is an incredible athlete, a wonderful trainer and just an all-round good person.

With all the shit going on in my life and the world lately, I found watching this film about one woman's personal journey from the bottom of the abyss to the top of the world, very inspiring.

8th Avenue Studios is trying to get to some film festivals by raising money on Kickstarter. I recently had someone do something very nice for me and I promised to pay it forward. I did, thanks to some Etsy sales, by becoming a backer for Box of Salvation and by donating some money to a guide dog in training who's name is Nitebyrd. Take a look at the trailer to get an idea of who Cheryl is. Thanks!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Saturday night Mulder and me were at
the Jeff Dunham Controlled Chaos show in Sunrise. My daughter and
son-in-law gave us the tickets for Christmas. If you don't know who
Jeff Dunham is, watch this ~

He is absolutely astonishing and
hilarious. Just take a moment to think about a ventriloquist that
can fill a 21,600 seat arena. FUCK! The show was so damn funny that I
was seriously afraid I'd pee myself. The man is genius. Probably more
than a wee bit weird but who gives a fuck? I don't have to live with
him.

About an hour into the show, I get a
text alert from CBS radio notifying me that Whitney Houston has died.
I felt momentary, and I mean MOMENTARY, sadness for the loss of
talent and for her child. The news in no way put a damper on my
enjoyment of Mr. Dunham & Co. I didn't give Whitney Houston
another thought until we got back to the hotel and turned on the TV.

OHMYFUCKINGGODS!!! You would think that
President Obama or Justin Bieber had been assassinated! Every damn
channel had solemn talking heads, extolling the virtues and
wonderment that was Whitney Houston. It was as bad as when Michael
Jackson died.

Whitney Houston was a singer. She had a
terrific voice. She had fame, money, talent, a beautiful child,
loving family and she chose to toss it all away with both hands for
the “stress relief” drugs can bring. She did not cure cancer. She
did not find a solution to global warming. She did not come up with a
solution for peace in the Middle East. She never even tried to do any
of these things. She was a singer. Period.

I'll probably get some shit for posting
the above picture. The person I stole it from on Facebook surely
has. I'll also get shit for writing my feelings but I can take it.
Listen, I fought with Bank of America for 3+ years and previously
delivered a 10 pound baby vaginally – I'm tough as fucking nails.
So bring it on.
Like the picture says, our society is messed up. Why didn't David Hickman get the same kind of publicity that Whitney got? David Hickman and 4,473 other U.S. citizens were REAL heroes.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Bank of America has given us a trial modification on our mortgage. We are to pay a reduced amount for three months and a lump sum into our escrow account. After three months, HOPEFULLY, we will be given a permanent modification. We won't get any freebees, all overdue fees are tacked onto the end of the loan but at least it will give us some breathing room until the economy turns around. IF the economy turns around.

I really appreciate all your good wishes, thoughts and prayers. I don't think I could have gotten through all this the last few years without y'all.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Nothing is unbreakable. Given enough stress and/or pressure, diamonds and even Lonsdaleite will shatter. The pieces cannot be put back together to create the whole ever again. There is nothing in nature so strong that it will survive endless adverse conditions. Mountains crumble, giant trees die and topple, mighty rivers cease to exist and mere people can and will fall to pieces.

On Tuesday, February 7, 2012, Satan (Bank of America) and a lesser demon (my lawyer) will determine if my family and I will be homeless or if we will keep our home.

After three years of anguish while a well intentioned business failed and another four years of being lost in the maze of financial ruin, bank torture and uncertainty, I am on the edge of the final fall into the abyss.

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About me

This is a blog by a woman in her 50's who is finally on the crooked path to find who she truly is.
Married at 19 and divorced at 53. I am going to unearth the artist, the cynic, the free spirit that has been long buried. Or die trying.
I've left Bethlehem
and I feel free...
I've left the girl I was supposed to be
and some day I'll be born.
~Paula Cole