Thursday, January 22, 2009

best outreach ever

Please Myself

Yesterday, I blogged about what I was going to wear last night in the frigid weather when I went out en femme to do outreach. I also blogged about what Erin wrote at A Dress A Day about Michelle O and dressing to please yourself.

Dressing yesterday, I tried on a four or five outfits while wearing my high boots and black pantyhose. I was not pleased with anything. So, I resigned myself to Plan A, i.e., "my black tunic sweater, leggings or tights, and booties."

I slipped on my tunic sweater while still wearing my high boots and black pantyhose and I was very pleased with the way I looked, so that is the outfit I wore forgoing the warmer leggings or tights (see the accompanying photo; click on it to get a better view).

I know the hemline was short, but I think I have the legs for it, and the tunic sweater is so warm and the boots so high that I figured I would not suffer too much.

Regarding my comfort, I was correct. Instead of the predicted 14°F, it was a "balmy" 27°F when I arrived at the university. I found a parking space less than 200 feet from the building where I was outreaching, so I did not have to walk far in the cold and it did not bother me at all.

I did receive one catty comment about the length of my skirt, but I just smiled at the commenter knowing that I was very pleased in the outfit I selected and I did not care about the opinion of the catty commenter. I dressed to please myself and not her.

My Best

Last night was my best outreach experience ever!

This Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University had ten students: nine females and one manle. My fellow outreachers were people I have outreached with in the past: a no-op male-to-female transsexual, her wife, and a post-op female-to-male transsexual.

We each spoke for about five minutes giving a brief biography of our trans lives. I presented my bio last. While the others gave theirs, I thought about what I would say.

I have presented my bio so many times in the past that I did not have much to think about, but I did make a few changes to my normal presentation. The big change as far as I was concerned was that I identified myself as a "trans-person" rather than a "plain vanilla crossdresser."

Anyway, I felt very good about myself last night. I felt good, I felt comfortable, and in my opinion, I looked good. Feeling that way, I gave the best bio I have ever given. I was very loose, not nervous at all, and my talk was smooth with a lot of expression and some humor. The students laughed at my humor and were all smiling by the time I ended.

Last night, mine was a little less boring and less clinical than the usual trans bio. When I was done, I felt even better about myself.

Next came the question and answer period.

Usually, we divide the class in half and half the class goes to another room with half the outreachers to conduct the Q&A. When half the class period is over, the outreachers switch rooms, so that the whole class has an opportunity to question all the outreachers.

Typically, I am teamed with one or more of the transsexual outreachers and the Q&A results in a few, some, or many questions that are transsexual-specific and have nothing to do with me. While the transsexual answer those questions, I sit politely, smile, and check out my manicure.

Last night was different. We divided the class into three groups and each of us did the Q&A solo. Actually, the female-to-male transsexual and I did Q&A solo, while the male-to-female transsexual and her wife did Q&A as a team.

I could not be happier with that arrangement!

In the past, I have encountered most of the questions (or variations thereof) the students asked last night. (See "my questions and answers.")

Each group wondered about my nails. ("If you only go out en femme once or twice a month, don't people notice your long French manicured nails when you are in male mode?") Pre-glued, stick-on nails was my answer.

Each group also wondered if I would live as a female full-time if I had the opportunity to do so. In the past, I would say, "definitely, yes," but lately, I have been reconsidering that answer. My answer was "maybe," but that there is something to be said about being out all day en femme, then being able to go home at the end of the day, remove all the trappings of femininity, and crash as a male. On the other hand, at Fantasia Fair, I crashed en femme at the end of each day and that was pretty good, too!

One group (all women) dwelled on subject of female fashion. They were impressed on how well I was put together, but one women commented that she never wears makeup and that she has only worn a dress once since her wedding. Another women said that she never wears dresses and does not own a pair of heels; one reason was because she found walking in heels very difficult. The thought crossed my mind that if these women represent the future of female fashion, I am going to lose interest in femulating!

I did mention my blog to the groups and how I try to post something everyday. One observant woman suggested that writing everyday about femulating provides an outlet for those times (which is most of the time) that I cannot femulate. She was so right.

I received some nice compliments last night, which just added to my enjoyment. One woman complimented my makeup, especially the was I did my eyes. Another woman said I had such beautiful feminine hands (more feminine than her own, she admitted). Still another woman complimented me on how well I walked in high heels. And finally one woman gushed that I looked absolutely fabulous and the other women in that group agreed!

I had a wonderful time last night and felt exhilarated at the end. "Good job," I though to myself.

Next time you shop take a look around at the casual clothes for women. There are plenty of knit pants and snuggly sweaters that are feminine, cute and comfy.

You may think of coming home and relaxing as a man, but for those who live as women, the possibility of relaxing as a woman, be that in the house or out grocery shopping, is very real. There is a reason women don't dress up all the time; dressing down is also comfortable and fun.

But if your trans is all about dressing up, rather than, say, expressing a range of who you are as a woman, that is easy to miss.

Emulating women who appeal to you is fun, no doubt, but being a woman, even a woman who fixes the sink and takes out the garbage as a woman, has its own rewards.

Callan --- Thank you for your comments. If I was full-time, I would buy some casual clothes. However, I am far from full-time, more like hardly ever, and if I can only get out once a month, I prefer to dress to the nines (or close to it like maybe sevens or eights).