Grandparents helping out with day care not only lifts a financial burden for parents, it also offers other benefits — including forging closer family ties.

Ruth Thompson rthompson@wickedlocal.com @scituateruth

Grandparents helping out with day care not only lifts a financial burden for parents, it also offers other benefits — including forging closer family ties.

Patty Silva of Plymouth, and Jennifer Fields of Marshfield are two local grandmothers who have been helping to care for their grandchildren since shortly after they were born.

In Silva’s case, she has not only provided day care, but often ‘nightcare’ as well.

“It was hard for them sometimes to get someone to watch Isabella because they both work in the restaurant business and can work odd hours,” Silva said of her daughter and son-in-law.

Silva, who works second shift at a Plymouth hotel, would often leave her home early in the morning and drive to the Cape to care for Isabella, now 3, while the child’s parents worked the first shift. Once they returned home, she would drive back to Plymouth to work her own shift.

“It was rough but I love her, so I did it,” Silva said. “That’s what love does.”

Silva said she is more than happy to help her daughter and son-in-law, a young couple starting out.

“Of course I don’t charge them anything, but it’s more than that. I get the chance to spend all this time with my granddaughter.”

On her days off, Silva said she was able to stay with Isabella longer, and sometime would spend the night. There would also be times when she would relieve a babysitter that would be hired to fill in the gaps.

As Isabella got older, she would often spend time at her grandmother’s home in Plymouth.

“I enjoy doing this so much,” Silva said.

Fields feels “very fortunate” that she has been able to watch her two granddaughters, Kayleigh, 4, and Kelsey, 2.

“I take care of them Mondays through Thursdays, about 11 hours a day,” she said.

The girls live in Plymouth, and Fields, who lives in Marshfield said she normally goes to their house, as there is so much more for them to do there.

“Now my older granddaughter is in preschool two days a week, morning classes, so my son will drop her off in the morning and I’ll pick her up at school at noon,” she said. “There are a lot of grandparents who are doing that, and I see a lot of my son’s friends who are now parents there as well.”

Fields’ son and daughter-in-law both work full time.

She said helping them out financially was the primary reason for her to care for the girls.

“I said I would be glad to watch them because I knew day care was so expensive,” she said. “It really worked out. I had been working full-time and then the company closed and I was looking for a part-time job, and then they announced they were expecting. So the timing was perfect. I am just lucky that I was in the position I was in to be able to do it.”

However, like Silva, Fields said she has gained so much more than just the knowledge she’s helping the family out.

“There is such a bond with them,” Fields said. “They are such a big part of my life. It can be tiring at times, but I really enjoy it.”

Silva said it helps in saving money, but she thinks, “The real important thing is having that grandchild-grandparent connection.”

“That is something that will stay with them forever.”

When her two sons were growing up Fields said they were close to both sides of grandparents.

“I definitely think it’s important for children to have a relationship with their grandparents,” she said. “I know there are people who can’t be with their grandchildren often, for location reasons and such, which is why I feel so fortunate to be able to do this.”

Both Silva and Fields said the happiness they get from spending this time with their grandchildren is immeasurable.

Silva, who said she spent a lot of time with her grandparents in Duxbury when she was a child, said having a grandparent help care for a child strengthens the family bond and also gives the parents a certain peace of mind.

“I think parents feel safer having a grandparent watch their child rather than having a stranger or sending them to day care,” Silva said. “I think there’s just a better level of trust because they know their child’s needs are met immediately. That’s important, because if you’re worried about what’s happening with your child, you can’t focus on work.”

She also said grandparents can offer a certain love and nurturing, in the absence of a parent, that isn’t always found in a day care situation.

Fields agreed, saying parents feel a certain measure of ease knowing their parents or in-laws are watching their children.

“They can go to work and not have to be worrying about the care their children are receiving, or if there is something going on,” she said.

It also helps a lot to have grandma – or grandpa – there for those times when a child is sick.

“And the kids don’t get upset when the parents leave them to go to work,” she said.

Silva said being with Isabella offers her a sense of calm and comfort as well.

“She heals my heart, she really does,” she said. “There’s a love for a grandchild that I can’t explain. It’s a whole different kind of love than what you feel for your children, who you love, of course, but with a grandchild it’s just different. I can’t imagine not having had this time with Isabella.”

Fields said the experience has been “wonderful.”

“Sometimes when it’s really cold out and I’m tired and I’m getting up really early I think, ‘what am I doing?’ But then when I get there and the kids are at the top of the stairs and they’re going ‘grandma, grandma’ and I get this greeting and these little faces smiling at me, I know why I’m here.”

Never miss a story

Choose the plan that's right for you.
Digital access or digital and print delivery.