I Do Woo; Do U?

Tag Archives: Perspective

Am observing myself in a bit of a strange space – feeling a bit out of sorts – almost like this is not my life. I know…I know…weird. After all the turmoil over the last few weeks, it’s almost like I was on overdrive and now the engine got cut.

Hmmm….The last time THAT happened, I fell off the front of the boat, was sucked under and my leg when through a propeller. Thank goodness THIS feels totally different.

It’s almost like I’m heading into a different chapter. Maybe that’s it! Maybe this feeling if because I’m closing a chapter of my life and starting a new one. There’s always a pause when that happens…right? Many of the characters stay the same but some of them have completed their role in the story and now we’re introducing new ones…maybe different scenery.

One of the things I’ve noticed as a mom is the feeling of connection…of responsibility somehow for my son. I’ve always felt this but never at the level I feel right now. This evening I walked in to ask him if he wanted our cuddle/chat, and there he was sound asleep already, with a book still open on his lap. The love and contentment was palpable – without and within.

I went back in a while later to find him still propped up. I grabbed the edge of the pillow and pulled gently, leading him over to the side so he was no longer cramped. I wanted him to be comfortable. Is this not my role as his mom? To love him. To give him solid, consistent rules to live by. To love him. To teach him cause and effect so he can make his own choices with guidelines on how to walk himself through life. To love him. To do what I can to provide him with the tools to be all that he wishes to be.

Is THIS why we are starting a new chapter in our lives? Is HE why I am here at this moment? Look out….it may not all be about me…or Walter! This could be all about Gregory and what he will learn through us on this adventure.

Hey, I’m not one of those moms who is going to say “I did it all for you!” Heck no! This move to Costa Rica is what Walter and I want. However, since (in our choice of belief) children choose their parents because of what they are here to learn, to do and to be – Gregory chose us so we can take him with us where we are heading.

The chapter ahead is unknown. The great part is we are able to use the law of least effort to allow it to unfold for us. May we all choose the path we were meant to take.

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

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The choice is TOTALLY up to you!

Noun: Person, Place or ThingVerb: Action Word

“Passenger” is a Noun NOT a Verb!

This is what Walter said to me when we were driving the other day. Hmmm…can you imagine what I was doing to elicit such a lovely phrase?

Today was a busy day filled with work and meetings but interestingly it was a space of realignment. We are now onto the next bit of the elephant – sorting and organizing to sell what we own. I observe that I work well with a time frame and a plan. These famous words come to mind.

We managed to turn our entire house upside down and put back together in minimalistic manner in 4 weeks. We sold it in 2. Now we need to do the same with everything else we own and we have 10 weeks to do it in. The race begins!

Laughter truly is the best medicine…is it not??

Throughout today this was the running theme: whether it was us helping others find laughter in the moment, others sharing moments which made us laugh or Walter helping me to laugh – it all felt so good!

I remember when I worked in a corporate environment, the more stressed I was the more I laughed. I even let my team know the amount of laughter was in direct correlation to my level of stress. So if I appeared rather jovial, it may be best to tread carefully. Somehow finding something to laugh about – well it turned the craziness around.

In thinking about this tonight…I now realize I was using the Law of Substitution. Hey, what do you know?

I just realized I do not do this with laughter anymore. Stress and laughter are not connected anymore. I laugh because it feels good to laugh. I live (for the most part) in laughter. It’s a really nice space to reside. Rest assured this does not mean it looks like a comedy routine – more like happiness bubbling up – some small, some medium, some overflowing – Loud Smiles! I look forward, since I am now cognizant of it, I will continue to increase this space until it encompasses my entire being. Allowing any less desirable spaces to implode.

Today is going to be a short DoWoo. I admit life has caught up with me and I choose to get off this lovely electronic tool, curl up with a good book, relax, reconnect with myself during my evening sit, and sleep with dreams of warm water, sand, sunshine and a hammock.

For those who have blessed us during our journey thus far – thank you! We are grateful for all the support, the encouragement, the warmth and love you have shared. May you all have laughter infused within your journey. God bless!

But before you go….would it be OK if I leave you with what was one of my truly loud smiles today – courtesy of Walter. Last night he gashed his head.

Throughout today he would bow his head and say “I’ve got my eye on you.”

The 3 of us are in the process of learning Spanish – using translation dictionaries, language books and online apps to help us. Putting together phrases or sentences we use regularly. The other day Walter showed me an app which allows you to take a picture or scan something with your smart phone and voila! Instant translation! Holy Sugar – this is so totally going to help rock our transition.

This morning Walter sends me this cartoon saying it reminds him of our son Gregory and his dog Mya.

Rather than type the verbiage into Google translate – I sent it to myself as a JPEG as the app I downloaded yesterday supposedly allows you to use pictures and it will translate for you. But then my phone converted the JPEG to winmail.dat file – which I could not open on my phone. Being the digital diva that I am…I decided to take a screen shot!

Walter, watching me do this with a big smile on his face, asked “Newfie Screen Shot?” I admit my blond does come out of a bottle so I’ll have to embrace my Newfoundland heritage for this case – my dad always encouraged me to laugh “with” rather than “at” the joke.

After not getting yesterdays downloaded app to work on this cartoon, I downloaded the Google Translation app, printed the cartoon so I could scan it with my phone – and voila! for the most part it worked. Way cool! So for those of you who don’t speak / read Spanish:

The 4th box kept giving me different translations so I typed it online to translate. I learned that in Spanish the use of punctuation has a significant impact on the verbiage.

Without any ! at the beginning or a capital on the first word – it translated to: “will never die”. Add in the ! at the beginning OR a capital on the first word and now it translates to: “Do not ever die.” However, as soon as you add in the second ! at the end of the sentence – the full translation is now: “Do not die ever!” A few weeks ago when someone asked me which Spanish I was learning – I answered “Google Spanish”.

I realized there is even more to Spanish than I had imagined. Once we get to Costa Rica, I’m sure there will be local adjusting required. I choose to totally embrace this learning experience and look forward to where it will take us all.

Had a bit of an epiphany today. One of my siblings shared a link to the 7 stages of grief. I ran through each of the 7 with Walter and realized, other than one aspect of stage 4 (Reflection), I had either already experienced each or they did not apply. I’ve also reviewed the common Kübler Ross Grief Cycle – very similar overall.

Why grief labeled in this manner? The same way “they” say each woman experiences pregnancy and labour differently – I can only imagine we would all experience the death of a loved one differently. So having labeled grief as being something one must work through – does this actually help us to grieve or does it create a directive for our brain to focus on and encourage it to manifest itself within us?

in reviewing the stages of grief, Walter and I agreed that if someone died suddenly, unexpectedly – then we may need to work our way through the shock, pain, anger, depression… BUT what about when you know someone is “winding down” as my mom’s doctor described it? My mom was told about a year ago that her cancer was no longer in remission and shortly thereafter found out it could not be operated on and she was not strong enough to withstand the rigors of chemotherapy. This is when my grief started. This is when I started to realize my mom may not be with us for much longer.

Personally I watched my mom fight through her own stages…including denial. What I observed was very similar to what was noted for the griever. I personally had to remain true to who I was – hence I lent emotional and physical support where I could and lighthearted banter whenever I saw her. I made her laugh!

Today we had a 3 hour window between the afternoon and evening visitation sessions for my mom. During this time at home I turned to Walter and asked whether it was OK for me to not feel like I had to grieve – I felt good – I loved my mom and I will miss her…but I do not feel bad. He said he had experienced something very similar shortly after his mom’d death.

We knew they were unwell. We knew they had a limited time with us. We knew they were in pain and were relieved when they no longer had to endure the pain. We knew they would not want us to wallow – but to celebrate who they were here in this life. This must be a good type of grief.

With everything we have learned over the last few years, especially since having embraced the teachings of Mark J and the Master Key System by Charles Haanel, we know we have the ability to choose the emotions we wish to embrace and our subsequent actions.

I choose good grief!

I’ve been going to a particular hairdresser locally the last few times. However, even after I show her a picture and describe what I want, she does her own thing. I’ve attempted to help by re-explaining – showing her where it is too “poofy” for my liking but I still end up with a style different than what I ask for. This time I was determined to find an alternative hair dresser.

I went into a shop today and asked the only person working whether she could assist – I explained ‘point cut’ and ‘spiky’. She asked to see a picture so I showed her. She said she was unable to do this type of cut and suggested the owner who would be in tomorrow. I required a cut today and asked if anyone else would be able to assist. She suggested another woman would be in within a 1/2 hour – maybe she could help. I agreed to come back.

Sonal reviewed my requirements and agreed to assist. We chatted about how long she has been a hairdresser – 3 years in Canada and 5 years back home in India. I mentioned I was leaving Canada and she asked why. I explained that I wanted to embrace life and staying here with the cost of living required me to work for my life rather than enjoy my life. She agreed wholeheartedly.

Upon further conversation she admitted to having come to Canada with the idea this was a place to prosper. They had left their own business back home in India and struggled here in Canada. I asked her whether she would choose differently knowing what she knows now. She said yes; She would have stayed in India. But they sold their business and have nothing in the bank. They worked for 5 years to pay to go home and visit last year – now there are no savings.

I found this fascinating. So many people immigrate to Canada from other countries. I wonder how many feel similarly to Sonal. We have another friend who has been here for 5 years and has just purchased a motel in the US and is moving there now. He admitted to having worked hard at multiple jobs since he arrived in Canada and even though he rented, he just could not get ahead financially.

This makes me take pause and wonder what it is that puts us in this space. I’ve heard statistics quoting 95% of the population are in debt. Why?

I have some ideas. However, I’ve chosen not to include them – they are all opinions. While I do not believe the grass is greener – I do believe there are other locations which offer a different type of lifestyle which is not available here. Hence why I am embracing our decision to move to Costa Rica. At the end of our conversation, Sonal paused, looking at me with a serious expression. She stated she believed we had made the right choice to move. An incoming and outgoing perspective.

This weekend I observed an amazing group of women who bonded, for what could be life long friendships, within only a short few days. I wonder…would a small group of men have had the same results as we did? My curiosity typically gets the best of me…I will look into further and see what I find.

We had a variety of speakers – energy healers, intuitives, motivational speakers, life coaches, digital and branding gurus (just to name a few). There were 8 sessions per day for 2 full days. Absolutely AMAZING!

Upon reflection this evening, what I found interesting were the 3 speakers who came in without having been there for the entire session…They appeared to have varying degrees of impact on the group.

1 speaker came in moments before her presentation and left immediately afterwards. While her presentation was good, and there was audience participation, the energy in the room needed to be shifted before we could continue with the next speaker – the intuitive.

Another speaker came in for a small part of the sessions, spoke, stayed for a bit afterwards and then left. This appeared to be more readily appreciated. She chatted with a few of the people in the room before and after her presentation.

The 3rd speaker, arrived just before her session but was able to have a few minutes to chat with people during the short break between presentations. Her interaction was a bit different as she knew a number of the participants from other events or on a personal / business level. At the commencement of her talk she explained her son was ill and she had stayed home to care for him – hence why she was unable to be her in person for the 2 days. She also added having watched remotely from home. This person then proceeded to weave a few points from some of the previous speakers into her presentation.

While this appeared to be the most readily accepted version of the 3 ladies I’m referencing, I cannot say whether the others participants had the same observations – these are strictly from my perspective. I am commenting based upon the energy level and shifts I felt during and after each presentation.

Had an interesting flutter of heat pass through my upper body today. Not sure what emotion exactly but recognized it was not a nice one. Based upon what was going on at the time, I did my best to identify it. Then I release it and moved on.

Allow me to share. For those following my recent posts, our house listing went live today. Now…after 25 years of being in the real estate portion of relocation , added to my mom’s 30 years transferred by osmosis…you can imagine I know a few agents.

When Walter and I decided to sell our house I had a decent sized list of people I could tap into locally. I seriously considered all our options before I even picked up the phone.

There was one particular agent who was on the “known” list. She and I had met about maybe 4 years ago and became somewhat friendly on a personal level. About 3 years ago, Walter and I had asked her to look at what we had to offer her – to see if we could help with her bottom line. She explained that she was happy with what she had and did not wish to consider changing providers. She did not even look. We brought it up in passing maybe 3 times over the course of a year but stopped asking (I don’t want to be one of ‘those’ people either). We have not connected for well over a year now – although I still receive her mailings on a monthly basis.

I share all this because I chose not to even consider contacting her about listing our home. Within a few hours of our listing going live on MLS, I received an email from this particular agent saying she was “shocked to discover” we had listed our home and did not call her. “Why?” My response was that I was shocked she needed to ask. This is where I felt the heat. I recognized I was not being my best self – I was allowing the old me (my old blue print) to respond. My body recognized it and told me off.

This evening as I sat to review my day, considering what observations from today I wanted to share…this came back to me. I totally do not understand how anyone in sales can treat another person with a “I gave at the office” type of customer attitude and then expect to remain a contender for when there is an opportunity to garner that person as a customer?

Does anyone understand this?

While we cannot ALL obtain business from everyone we do business with, it does seem reasonably fair to believe we work as professionals at all times. Unfortunately I did not see that today with this particular real estate agent.

I have chosen to surmise the Universe was taking care of my best interests and pointed me in the direction of the agent who would do the best possible job for selling my house. If he and we do other business together…well, that has not even been discussed. All I know is I trust him with my home sale transaction. All business relationships must start somewhere.

Bob Burg is famous for his quote (from the book “Endless Referrals”):

“All things being equal, people do business with, and refer business to people they know, like and trust.”

48% – so close! so close! I’m almost 1/2 way to reaching my goal. And since my lucky number is 8…well, then 4 is 1/2 of 8…did you follow all that? Just doing my happy dance again!

Met a new person today and sure enough he had just got back from – you guessed it – Costa Rica. By the time we are down there, we should have a good number of connections here and there. It’s a wonderful space to be in.

I had a day filled with observing and participating in kind gestures. A lady in the aisle beside me chose to let the person behind her go in front. I was buying de-icer salt at the hardware store and they only had one of the two 20kg bags I wanted to purchase – so they gave me two two 10kg bags for the same price as the 20kg bag. I drove into 3 parking lots and each time I found a spot reasonably close to where I was going. I made Walter is coffee this morning and allowed him to sleep in. I did the dishes before I made another mess cooking dinner. Walter finishes the floors. A scout dad drove Greg home from camp today. All in all a productive day filled with smiles and kindness.

Imagine living each day like this…observing kindness and not having opinions about them? Now, that’s an interesting switch….observing something while not having an opinion…how does one recognize seeing kindness unless you’ve labeled it as kindness = but then, is that not an opinion unto itself?

If I removed all opinions about an act which takes place between one person and another, then I would not have the ability to label it as anything…it would just be the act taking place.

So if my objective here is to remove opinions and allow observations to rule, then all labels of actions would disappear – would they not?

What do you think?

It’s all my fault – really – LOL! At minimum I am 100% responsible. Can you imagine that? I’m taking responsibility for my thoughts and my reality. That’s what we learn in the Master Key. If everything I think about grows, and what I think about becomes real, then I control what happens to me. I create my destiny.

I love it when people say “I told you so.” because they are right! When I was one of these people, I would imagine the worst and when it happened, I would say those dreaded 4 words to whoever I told of my imaginations. What I found out though was it was all about what I thought. Somehow. Sometime. Somewhere. This was a thought which manifested itself into reality.

Walter and I have known we were moving to Costa Rica for the last 8 years. However, since we seriously put it out there, set a date, commenced what needed to be done to actually drive this forward…we meet new people daily who have been there, know people who’ve been there, know someone with a villa, a cottage, a business, who retired there, has family there….

Do you get what I’m saying?

Everything falls into place for those who do the leg work. The adage “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” ― Seneca. The legwork is what we learn within the Master Key Experience.

I remember driving downtown Toronto for business each morning and once you get onto the Gardiner Expressway Eastbound before Spadina, there was an Inglis sign which had a new quote or saying each day. I distinctly remember “Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.– Unknown

Temptation does not get me anywhere because it’s still leaning on the doorbell – which means no one has answered the door. I’m not waiting for opportunity to knock – that would be like waiting for the lottery.

I am creating my opportunity which is creating my reality.
And I must say…I’m having a blast!

Wanna join me?

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

Would you like to see things differently than what you are currently seeing? If so, please opt in below. When the scholarships for the next class are available, you will be on the list to received the details before the masses. No obligation but so so much to potentially gain if you end up being rewarded a scholarship.

Visited my mom today in the hospice. When I announced I was there she greeted me by name. We had a nice chat. I mentioned that one of my sisters was coming later and staying over.

During our chat I recognized that if I put aside my personal baggage with this sibling – and looked at her from a different perspective (maybe a bit of yesterdays outside looking in) I realized she is a good daughter. She has always been there to do and to ask and respond, to set up and organize, to include and manage. My mom is blessed to have a daughter such as this. “You certainly have a good one there.” I told my mom.

My mom has 7 of us: 5 daughters and 2 sons. I remember asking her whether she imagined all these kids. When she answered “no” I asked how then? To which she responded “My eggs were hot!” When I step back and consider what each of us brings to our relationship / our interaction with mom – I realize she is truly blessed. She has a good variety of characters to keep her entertained – we are all individuals that is for certain.

The same sister I mentioned showed up shortly thereafter and set up her laptop and her overnight bag letting mom know she was all set for the sleep over. She pointed out all the little things we could do to help mom stay more comfortable – I helped a bit. I observed that she knew a lot of what was going on with mom from her constant visits.

Just as I was leaving one of the nurses came in. We recognized each other from my previous visit. She gave me a big smile, we embraced with a heartfelt hug and words of greeting. My sister looked up (it seemed with a bit of surprise) asking if we knew each other from before. We admitted to just having met the last time I was in.

THIS is what I bring for mom. Positive enthusiastic energy filled with happiness and joy. Giving her a kiss as I left, I whispered to mom “Stay out of trouble. And if not, tell me about it later.” I heard her chuckle.

“I live this day as if it is my last.” – Og Madino

I am truly blessed to have been given a scholarship, and now introduce others so they may have a chance to obtain a scholarship, in the Master Key class. With everything we learn, I am now in a position to choose how I look at things…even my moms declining health and ultimately my own mortality.

I ask you…do you want an opportunity to look at things differently? Only you can choose to take the next step. I promise it is a ‘positive’ one – LOL! Opt in below and I will personally ensure you receive the information about the next class (Fall 2015). Then you can review the information for yourself and decide. What have you got to loose? Nada. What have you got to gain? Whatever you set your mind to!

Was chatting with a few friends this evening when a discussion arose about how children’s perceptions of their fathers (in a break up situation) can be quite different than those of the mother (the former wife). We discussed how sometimes a person may not notice something about someone until we are on the outside looking-in.

Now this is not like my observations about the Franklin Makeover in reverse. This is about the outside looking in versus the inside looking in. Stay with me here. It’s something you may recognize once I explain.

Many of us know families who have experienced a dissolution of a marriage where children are involved. While I do have an ex husband, we did not have children (unless you count the dog which I told him was a non-negotiable part of our settlement – full custody to me). I have however seen many break ups from the outside. But this is not the looking in I’m referring to here as in order to do that you must be part the equation – it is imperative to this observation.

When one divorced parent experiences less than desirable “______” (fill in the blank) from the other divorced parent, they have a variety of options on how they may communicate their feelings about their “ex” to their children. From what I can imagine (and have witnessed) parents typically choose to do their best to remain as neutral about the other parent as possible, avoiding influencing their child’s perception of their other parent OR they can choose to explain what the other parent has done (obviously from their perspective) which may result in something of a slam session depending upon what prompted the dissolution.

I’ve witnessed mostly the first option with a slight caveat – in many cases the parent holds their opinions in front of the children but when the children are not within the immediate vicinity, they voice their perspective (usually not so nice) to others who will listen.

The one parent is on the outside looking in at the other parent, no longer connected by marriage…supposedly seeing them for who they are objectively. While the child is on the inside looking in, seeing their parents from their own version of connection. This can result in a difference of opinion about the parent being viewed.

While the “in” (the other parent) may be exhibiting the exact same character traits, doing the same things they’ve always done, treating everyone the same as usual, both parties (the parent and the child) see them from a different perspective – one being in and the other being out.

So…what does this all mean? What do I observe from this interaction and review of our discussion this evening? It’s all about perspective! And our choice to choose love and who we love!

Now…even though I was not a product of a “divorce” my parents did not really get along. By the time I became old enough to be something other than a self-absorbed child (I believe this was around 8 or 9 years old) I recognized my parents were not like some of the other parents. While they were in the same house, they lived separate lives as much as possible. They did not like each other. I spent my entire life either being on my mom’s side or my dad’s side. Whoever’s side you were on would be slamming the other parent verbally. There was however, one slight reprieve. I recall having a good open line of communication with both parents at the same time for about 1 full year – I was 20 at the time. Unfortunately never to be repeated again.

When I recall this aspect of my life, I realize that I was on the inside looking in at both of my parents – recognizing each of their characters, their idiosyncrasies. Not sure who, if anyone, was on the outside in my situation.

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you. – Wayne Dyer

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

Would you like to see something different than what you are currently seeing? If so, please opt in below. When the scholarships for the next class are available, you will be on the list to received the details before the masses. No obligation. Potentially so much to gain. Allow yourself to do something positive for yourself and your future!

The choice is TOTALLY up to you!

Why do we associate feelings with inanimate objects?

Allow me to elaborate.

For those of you who may have followed our journey recently, you’ll know we are preparing to list our home and then relocate to Costa Rica. So while we are “de-cluttering” from a real estate perspective we are also divesting ourselves – we will not be bringing much with us. Every day for the last few weeks we have been working towards all of this (and then some).

Today we purchased a table and 4 chairs to replace the older oak set which took up a good portion of the eating area in the kitchen. It matched the kitchen from a marketing perspective and would take up less space. All good aspects to make sure we show off the house to it’s best.

During the drive over to pick it up I was feeling rather excited – I mentioned it to Walter – I was actually a bit giddy. As Walter assembled it, I carried the old set out to the curb, placing it at the end of the driveway (yes….it was sitting on the snow). When the new furniture was set up in it’s place, I observed the new look and suddenly realized I had been harbouring some very strong emotions towards the old set. Walter knew this in general – since up until recent I had a penchant for being vocal about my opinion (HENCE why I’m working on this character trait by blogging about not having one…why else would someone be crazy enough to commit to writing a blog post for 365 days in a row?)

But I digress…

Until this moment I had no any idea how strongly I disliked the previous set. Walter asked why?I explained it was clunky, large, heavy, worn….and it belonged to he and his (practice) wife during a previous marriage.

Now that my friends, THAT is how to give an opinion!

WOW!

I thought about this. Realizing I had attached a feeling to this table. AND then I had allowed it to simmer within me for years. Not something I thought of often but each time I did, it was apparently allowing this negative feelings to fester.

Why the heck would anyone do this to themselves?!

We attach feelings to objects.

Remember, the world without is a reflection of the world within. If we have negative feelings towards inanimate objects, what does this say about our world within? What is the correlating world without?

Bear with me now…2nd situation:

I have a decent (Walter says “in-decent”) collection of jewelry. Today I was packing it up, sorting what I may wish to keep, give away or sell and I realized there were pieces which I recalled why I purchased them, or when I wore them…attaching feelings to each – with some having a slightly higher sentimental value. Some were gifts from Walter or Gregory, and I allowed the feeling of when they presented the piece, maybe where I wore it last, the look on their faces – all of this to wash over me. Again, I attached feelings to these inanimate objects.

I’ve sat here and tried to figure out what this observation means. I’m so totally not sure. But maybe that too is for a reason. To allow me to recognize that I am unable to have all the answers immediately.

Ooooh – now that in itself is an observation – LOL!

Would love to hear back from YOU as to what YOU think – yes I’m asking for your opinion ….

WHY??

In case you missed the chaos, you can read about it here. After 6 out of the last 7 days with painters in our house, the last few weeks filled with furniture rearranged or removed; with all our artwork and personal decor taken off the walls and stored, with all our “personality” dismantled room by room, altering our home to what could be considered (for the most part) “neutral”, one of the mantras I consistently said to myself was: ‘This is no longer our home. This is someone else’s home.’

I’ve counselled transferring employees one must always remember which side of the table you are sitting on – especially when dealing with real estate.

When you are a buyer you are typically shrewd, you do your research, you pick apart anything which may not be to your liking in order to negotiate the value downwards. However, when you are on the opposite side of the table to the buyer, it is more typical for you as the seller to point out all the things which you found beneficial about your home, draw attention to those aspects which may have been time consuming to create, or financially dear to install or update, seeing everything through the eyes of an owner, all with the intent to negotiate the value upwards.

When I stopped and really listened to myself, the experience I had gained, through almost a 1/2 a century of my mom’s real estate career and my own in relocation, I realized I had almost fallen into the same trap which most homeowners do.

In what I can only estimate to be a good portion, if not the majority, of real estate transactions the seller usually does themselves a disservice. Why? Because the seller has let their personal perspective and taste get in the way of being objective and real about the product they now wish to sell.

AND that my friends is the key word here…”product”. It is no longer my home. It is a house. As a seller I now need to remove my personal feelings and adjust to what the market wants.

Imagine…a homeowner who steps back and chooses to review their property through the eyes of a buyer. If a seller can see this, truly see what their local buyers are looking for, they can then adjust their product to suit the majority of the potential buyers thereby increasing the value of their house.

When I looked around my house today and thought “If we weren’t moving to Costa Rica, I would want to stay in this house”, I realized we were on our way to offering a product which may appeal to a maximum number of buyer. It had almost nothing of our “personality” but I could see myself living here.

I will wrap it up with the analogy Walter used – in neutralizing the decor, removing our personality, we have created a blank canvas which is inviting, allowing the buyer to be able to “picture” themselves living here.

I had a new mantra today. “I love my chaos!” Getting a house ready to list is a unique experience unto itself.

Today I realized that I have never sold a house using a Realtor. Now the interesting part is that I have helped hundreds, if not close to a thousand people, buy and sell houses all over North America but I’ve never done this with my house while using a “professional”. It’s almost like an Obstetrician who has never had a child of their own. When (assuming we are talking about a female doctor) they get pregnant themselves…everything can be perceived differently.

For someone who once led a group of relocation real estate counselors in various locations around North America…this is a new experience – always a good thing even if it does involve some chaos (I’ll circle back to that shortly). I’ve only owned 2 homes. The first I purchased in my late 20s with my mom as our real estate agent. When I sold that house I did it privately as by that point I had 5 years of real estate counselling under my belt and figured I knew enough. Ha!!

Then I purchased this house from my brother – privately – and my brother purchased our mom’s house – privately – and she built (I got to help with the architectural design changes!). By then my mom was mostly retired from real estate but between us we got all the paperwork done the way it needed to be be done.

So…now we’re selling and we’ve selected this very experienced team who are well versed in the area, know what the market is currently doing and have counselled us accordingly. I’m doing my utmost to be a reasonable person and avoid being one of ‘those’ people. You know the type…they are experienced in the field so think they know everything and don’t really listen using their experience because now it’s THEIR house we’re talking about and…well, they become an agents worst nightmare.

So…everything they’ve told us is advice I am fully aware of (and most of it I’ve given)…but now I need to TAKE it! In the words I chose to share with our son – I need to suck it up!

Hence the CHAOS!

I’m not complaining in any way nor am I implying the team told us we had to do any of these things. They did however explain (again logic and totally understood factors based upon my experience) that if we wish to maximize the market appeal, and therefore increase the value of our home, there were things we could do.

We knew we needed to “declutter” (one of those fun real estate buzz words which means get rid of all your personal crap). BUT removing 50% of the furniture in the house was a bit unexpected. I get it though. Their phrase “less is more” is true. You do NOT need to have a piece of furniture on every wall. Unfortunately we did!

We knew we may need to “neutralize” the decor (again another buzz word for paint rooms something which does not stand out – allowing most people to like what you have). HOWEVER I did not anticipate painting the entire house. Totally our choice as there were a few rooms we had originally agreed did not need to be painted but they did warn us that they may stick out – which they did. So to coin another phrase “in for a penny, in for a pound”. It makes the entire house fresh, bright and neutral and will maximize buyer appeal.

We now have a crawl space full of furniture and stuff; mostly not sorted as timing is now and sorting to move with only a small amount of stuff takes time. We have some of our rooms starting to take shape but it’s still a bit upside down and 2 more rooms to paint before we can start finalizing the furniture placement. My office was my kitchen table today…which on the positive side allowed for a change of scenery and first dibs on the banana bread when it came out of the oven. There is ALWAYS a positive side!

This would be the Law of Substitution.

The Law of Substitution is just one of the aspects covered in the

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

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Was unable to stop as it was un-plowed, slippery, snowy roads on a down slope.

It had the same verbiage as this message.

One of the things we’ve learn in the Master Key is that everything around you is there for a reason. We create what we think about. What I was thinking about was WINTER!

Walter and I have always said we are not winter people. When I was chatted with one of the other guest at the resort this morning, she commented “I’m not a winter person. But what can we do, we live in Canada?” My answer…move to Costa Rica! Just because we were born somewhere does not mean that is the extent of where we need to reside. However, I’ve also known people who have never left their town, their province/state, let alone considered moving out of their country. But…as “they” say….different strokes for different folks.

You may be wondering what possessed me to go away – UP NORTH – when I am not a winter person? While originally this came about for totally other reasons, I’m not understanding it was so I could recognize and appreciate what we have before it becomes what we had. Over the years many people, when they hear where we planned to move, would respond by saying “You’ll miss the seasons.” or “You’ll miss winter.” The last one we would typically reply that if we ever did miss winter, all we would need to do is open the freezer and stick our head in to remember it.

I must admit after all the brutal cold and ucky weather so far this season, this weekend was to remind me how beautiful winter can be. It snowed Friday to now – almost non-stop. The kind which comes down gently – consistently – making everything white. Trees are covered in little fluffs of snow. Fields are rolling hills of white. Whoever coined the phrase “a winter wonderland” must have been away at a place similar to where I was, on a weekend such as this.

Have decided before THIS winter is over, Walter, Gregory and I will get away for the weekend to enjoy some of what this lovely country offers us. We do appreciate what we have. However, we are also completely OK with “it” becoming what we had. We can always visit snow when the mood moves us to.

What about you?
Are you a winter person? If not, how would YOU feel about living in a place without it?

Started my day sleeping in – no alarm. Woke up at 7am. HEAVEN!!! When I went to breakfast a new server, Jessica, approached me and immediately said she understood I was not going to be speaking and that she was sad…she likes chatting! Allison, the server from last night must have passed along my intent. I pointed, she served. I was getting into the rhythm of my personal silence.

Realized I did not bring my swim suit and expected to partake of the hot tub today. I braved the snow filled roads and found the closest Walmart. When I went to try on the suit there was no one at the fitting room desk and only 1 room had an open door. I went in. Realized I wanted something else to try on. Left the room in my socks – closing the door behind me with my coat, shoes and purse. Returning less than a minute later I found the door locked. I’m in the middle of Walmart, no associate anywhere in sight and I’m in my socks!

There was a bell on the desk!!! I rang it. Someone came. I pointed at the door – she explained I would need to go into one of the other stalls. Talk or no talk? I compromised and wrote a note. She replied with understanding and opened the door. When I left, and handed over the ones I was not interested in, I nodded my thanks. She briefly looked up and then lowered her eyes, saying Welcome. I saw her a few minutes later, looking for the rack to hang the suits back up. I waved and pointed at the location. She nodded and smiled.

Interesting…the more interaction I had with her – without my speaking – she gradually adjusted to my mode of communication.

I returned to the resort. Walked around and enjoyed the snow. Watched people play on the ice. Shot a round of pool. Ate lunch. Painting on canvas back in my room for a few hours and then decided to have that hot tub. Mimed swimming and a large square to the front desk – Bonnie who checked me in and knew of my intended silence. As she grabbed the towels, she said “Come on, ask for them, I know you can do it.” smiling the whole time. When I walked past the office window she caught my eye, I stuck out my tongue. She laughed loudly.

I’m getting into the hot tub when I realize I need to turn on the bubbles. I go over to the switch and push the red button. The alarm sounds. I pushed the wrong button. Augh! Instructions say to pick up the phone and the alarm will go off. Talk or no talk? I go to the front door in my suit with towel. No one is coming. I pick up the phone. Nothing happens to the alarm. I press zero. The front desk answers.

I then spent the next hour contemplating whether my ‘silence’ was over or whether I would just continue on. I considered all sorts of responses to both sides. I waited for a sign. Nada. I eventually decided to be finished for this stint.

Upon arrival into the dining room, Jessica approached and I explained to her that I was busted. She laughed at my folly. Jessica then shared her observations. Something I may not have been told had I not interacted verbally with her this evening. She had honoured my silence, speaking minimally with me.

Jessica explained serving with me being silent was a very interesting exercise. She found that she had to be more observant – more attentive – and in doing so realized that she spends a good portion just listening rather than watching. She felt this had made her better at her job and felt all the staff should go through this. I received my sign (or at least what I have decided it my sign – LOL).

Will do this again but next time it will not include being in a space which may require outside interaction. It’s not quite the same as full on silence (giving and receiving) but it was good nonetheless. Blessings are everywhere. One just has to be observant.

Have and am experiencing two totally different types of family situations regarding funeral planning at this time. Walter’s mom passed 10 days ago and my mom is now in hospice and is not anticipated to be with us for long. Walter’s mom planned all her funeral choices almost 30 years ago whereas my mom did not. This has resulted in her children now making a number of these decisions for her.

I have to admit I’ve struggled with this the past few weeks. I know I am of a different bent than my siblings on a number of philosophies. In this case I am of the opinion (sorry this may just be one of those areas I cannot just observe) it is up to the individual to choose how they wish their send off to be managed. The caveat being, that if someone dies unexpectedly, some decisions may have to be made without their input. However, if they are still aware and able to converse, why would we not ask them their opinion?

People plan for their demise all the time – they choose life insurance, they make a will and update it, they sign a non-resuscitate order (if that is their position) and some even complete a donor card which may be attached to their drivers license. So, why is it some have not consider what they want done for their send off?

I’ve already explained to Walter most of my wishes…and have even recently mentioned to Gregory that I wish to be cremated and then buried under a tree so as it grows, it may carry a piece of me with it. He suggested I consider a tree which flowers in the spring time so not only will the tree grow but it will also be full of beauty. Love this idea!

So…I wonder, is it supposed to be up to the living to plan their own send off or should it be put to the remaining living to decide for the deceased, hoping to properly fulfill the wishes of their loved one? Or it could be that the funeral is for the living…so allow the remaining living to choose.

I don’t believe there is a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer here. It may be simply that any answer will depend on each individual situation. I observe that while I prefer to have structure and guidelines I’m sure my mom’s situation will evolve as it is meant to. And as the answers unfold, I pray I am able to represent my mom in a manner that she would want.

This blog is meant to elicit conversation – especially in instances where I am doing my best to remain within my DoWoo philosophy. So please, I ask of you, share your perspective for this case. I am appreciative of any mastermind thoughts on the situation. Gracias!

Was speaking to a colleague today about our journey – in that we have less than 145 days until we are to be living in Costa Rica. She commented that we had “balls” to make such a change and so many people would like to do what we are doing but so few actually do.

Why is that?

Why are people not following their bliss? Living their dreams? Taking giant risks which will allow for an equal or greater return?

I’ve always thought it was because they just didn’t have the gumption or the financial wherewithal to do so. While this may be the case, I’ve learned something even more profound – and sad at the same time – many people do not have a dream to set their sites on.

Interestingly in typing what I just did…I recalled our “Loud Smiles” main landing page…so I flipped over and read what I wrote over 8 years ago:

Our Parents taught us the basics of life and structure of family dynamics.Schooltaught us to learn, apply, memorize and reiterate to obtain graduating grades.Higher Education expanded our knowledge, the goal to provide a “career”.Workprovided compensation for our time, in exchange for vacation and benefits.

BUT

Who taught us to dream?How to envisionwhat we really want out of life?To questionwhat we plan to offer life in return?How to make our dreams a reality?How to ensure our kids have the chance to dream?

This was prior to The Master Key class which expanded my thinking. Before I understood the true power of our mind. Prior to recognizing my world without (my external reality) is a direct reflection of my world within (my internal reality).

I originally wrote this landing page with the intent to inspire others to think outside of their ‘proverbial’ box, keep an open mind so they too could reach their dreams – ultimately leading them to our network marketing concept. Upon reflection this evening I realize I may have wrote this for a different vehicle – the Master Key Experience. I just did not know it at the time but it is possible the Universe conspired to provide me an opportunity to experience what I needed in order to fulfill my words – providing me with the tools to understand so I could then reach out to others, allowing them to benefit from this knowledge.

How far back do the connections and re-directions go which created what we now have in front of us – whatever we imagined fulfilled? Was it when I was 9 and wished upon the first star at night asking for happiness? Was it when I was 14 and started to consider what I wanted to do for a living…and all I could think of was that it did not matter,as long as I was happy? Today, I am of a similar bent, and it’s still all about being happy.

The choice is TOTALLY up to you!

It’s not about who is the fairest or the strongest or the smartest or the most beautiful…what it is, is it’s all about recognition.

We are asked to read the words to ourselves each evening – The Guy/Gal in the Glass. We are tasked with recognizing that who we see in the mirror is the only person we need concern ourselves with.

“She’s the one to please, never mind all the rest, for she’s with you clear up to the end, and you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test if the gal in the glass is your friend.”Dale Wimbrow 1934

Numerous people have explained that what we see is a reflection of who we are: The world without if a reflection of the world within – Charles Haanel. Others unknown but repeatedly heard such as ‘you are what you eat‘; ‘you attract what you are‘; ‘the people in your life are there to show you what you need to learn.’

This week a friend commented they had done something BIG! Initially they had felt exhilarated, excited, happy. Now they were feeling anxious, worried and stressed. I remember learning we get to choose what label we attach to an emotion. I recalled our son when he was 3 years old, staring down from the neighbours tree house – about 25 feet up – and saying his tummy was feeling funny. Consider the long term effects on our little man of how I guide him…I chose to explain that feeling was called excitement.

I offered to share a story with the friend…of two people getting on a roller coaster…both of them having that niggly feeling in their tummies but one chooses to label it anxiety and the other excitement. We have a choice.

During my observation reflection this evening, I realize this past week I have been feeling what I considered to be anxiousness about our upcoming journey to Costa Rica. I pushed through the feeling knowing that I am living my dream rather than standing on the side lines. But pushing through a feeling is not embracing it for what it is meant to show you.

Having shared the story to aid another I was mean to recognize this about my own feelings. And all I need to do is label them the way I decide to…