Argument | Is eggnog better than fruitcake?

Dec. 16, 2010

Written by

The Courier-Journal

All year we look forward to holiday treats -- pumpkin pie and sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving or gingerbread cookies at Christmas.
But one holiday tradition we could all do without is the mass-produced fruitcake. Dense, sweet and inedible, fruitcake makes a better punch line than festive dessert.
On the other hand, if you have even a dram of Christmas spirit, you've been waiting all year for a sip of eggnog, that concoction of cream, eggs, nutmeg and bourbon.

There's simply no escaping eggnog. Even if it's not particularly to your taste, it's everywhere at this time of year. And turning down a glass of your host's homemade nog isn't a very good way to get things started at your holiday parties.

There may even be a slight uptick in eggnog production in recent years, a side-effect of the converging trends of culinary snobbery and the elevation of humble comfort foods.

Whatever the reason, you're almost certain to be offered a glass of spicy, sweet nog at some point in the next couple of weeks. And if done right, eggnog is one of the unalloyed pleasures of holiday drinking.

But, just as good -- and maybe better! -- is the completely dairy-free option. Last weekend I was offered a choice between straight-up nog and the soymilk version.
Not typically an admirer of soymilk products -- and even less inclined to try a low-fat version of a beloved menu item -- I was pleasantly surprised. The soynog was just as flavorful as your average nog, but put a much smaller dent in the caloric balance sheet. With this innovation, there's no excuse for avoiding the quintessential holiday drink this year.

But steer clear of that fruitcake. Unless your German aunt made you a stollen from scratch, stick with the gingerbread men.

By Tamara Ikenberg
Who is a fruitcake

Who doesn't love stumbling around with alcohol and cream swishing around in their tummy? Who doesn't love feeling full to bursting before they've even crunched into their first Christmas cookie or savored their first slice of holiday ham? Who doesn't love gaining 50 pounds simply by drinking cup after cup of gooey, heavy, dense holiday cheer?

I don't. No eggnog for me. And please, no soy eggnog. That sounds even grosser.

I would rather get fat on solid food … especially fruitcake. Festive, lovely fruitcake …

I love everything about fruitcake. I love the density of the actual cake. And then there's the delectable, jewel-toned fruit, which is healthy and delicious. I love the sweet, glorious gelatinous decadence.
I love you bright, sweet candied cherry, and you, too, neon yellow candied pineapple. I also love you, green squishy fruitlike chunk I can't quite identify. You are all special and tasty in your own way. Don't let anybody tell you you're not.
Yes, the much reviled baked good; punch line of many a Christmas joke, is my favorite holiday indulgence. I'm into pre-packaged fruitcake, especially Entenmann's. When it shows up at the grocery store, I get a warm, spicy fruitcakey feeling.
I don't have much experience with homemade fruitcake, being a Jew and all. I also don't have much experience with eggnog. But I definitely have had a few cups in my day, and the milky-alcohol combo makes no sense to me in nog form. I love White Russians, so I don't know why I am such a nog nemesis.

I totally click with fruitcake. When I was a girl, my mom, another fruitcake lover, and I would eat slices of it with tea while watching "Cheers." What a treat! Fruitcake is fantastic, yet often maligned and misunderstood. I identify with fruitcake. I feel no emotional connection to eggnog.

I feel bad at holiday parties when poor fruitcake is ignored. It is my duty and my pleasure to make fruitcake feel wanted. You think it's gross? I'm fine with that. More fruitcake for me!