BAMBI KOHLER: This cloud strictly for napping

“I said, hey! You! Get off of my cloud Hey! You! Get off of my cloud.”

The defiant Rolling Stones lyrics were written as a reaction to their sudden popularity after the success of “Satisfaction.” The song deals with their aversion to people’s expectations of them.

I totally get what you are putting out, Mick Jagger. That’s exactly how I feel about my naps.

The Stones’ vices were much more rock and roll. Sex, booze and drugs. But I’m pretty sure they did a lot of napping, which is why they are still rocking while others their age are … well, dead.

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I don’t live a rock star life. I don’t spend my weekends on sexcapades with Channing Tatum. I don’t have groupies who look like Patrick Demspey with the wit of Seth McFarlane. I don’t wreck hotel rooms and leave a layer of cocaine on the bathroom counter.

So get off of my cloud. Except you, Channing Tatum. You can stay.

Still, in our type-A, got-to-be-constantly-on-the-go society, naps are considered either a luxury or a sign of laziness.

I could say I need to take a nap due to medical issues that zap my energy, but I enjoy the act of napping too much.

Unlike grandparents and antisocial uncles, I can’t fall asleep in sitting in front of the television or during the middle of family gatherings.

I need my mattress with its memory foam topper. I need my Temperpedic pillow and my body pillow. I need the temperature to not exceed 74 degrees. A good blanket is imperative. And in the winter I need a dehumidifier.

See. I’m much more AARP than AC/DC.

As a baby, I was nearly impossible to put to sleep at night and forced my parents to wear out the carpet walking me around the bedroom. I never napped as a child because, my mother claimed, I was afraid I would miss something. In high school, I woke up at 6:30 a.m. and due to extracurricular activities and sports I would not go to bed until 11:30 p.m. Sure, I slept in on weekends, but during the week I was never so tired that I needed a late afternoon siesta.

First I experimented with napping junior year in college. I commuted to La Salle, so when I returned home from classes, I would take a nap before heading to my part-time job. I was ready for round two of my day, which also consisted of going out at night with my newly 21-year-old friends.

“Why have I been fighting this?” I thought when I woke up rejuvenated.

Sure, I get teased for my napping habit.

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead” or “There are so many things you could be doing” — the nap-naysayers comment.

The most successful and brilliant minds have taken a mid-day snooze.

Some famous nappers include Leonardo da Vinci and Napoleon.

“Hey, da Vinci, don’t you think you could accomplish more if you didn’t nap?” friends would ask. (Not historically proven. However, if The Times Herald wants to fund a trip for Italy for me to research it I would be happy to oblige.)

I hope he would have responded, “How many Mona Lisas have you painted?”

John Rockefeller napped every afternoon in his office.

Thomas Edison was embarrassed about his napping habit. I guess he felt he didn’t contribute enough to society.

President John F. Kennedy ate his lunch in bed and then settled in for a nap. Among the many other things he did in bed.

Some consider a nap no more than 20 minutes to a half hour. That’s where the so-called “napping experts” lose me. Napping for that amount of time is like ordering a bottle of water at the Capital Grille and nothing else. It’s like going to the Rolling Stones concert and leaving after the opening act. You don’t get the full effect of its glory.

“Do you do it every day?” I’m asked about my naps like they just found a hidden stash of illegal sustenance.

“No,” I answer honestly. I just don’t have the time to do it every day.

I don’t understand the outrage. I’m not leaving work early to slip in a late afternoon siesta. I’m not peacefully snoozing while babies scream in their cribs or children beg me to help them with their homework.

What’s the problem? Get off of my cloud.

Katie Bambi-Kohler is a Norristown native and a current resident of King of Prussia. Visit her blog at www.cheesesteakprincess.blogspot.com. Follow her on Twitter @chzstkprincess.