Tuesday, June 7, 2016

It Takes a Village... Appendix I

or
Let the Mothertrumper Burn

The Republican primary was a real clustertrump this year. The Republican candidates were unable to ward off the demon spawn's scathing insults. Insults such as, Lyin' Ted, Li'l Marco and Low Energy Jeb. The Republicans found themselves defenseless against such cunning, and one by one they dropped out until only the demon spawn remained.

Many were concerned Hillary Clinton would suffer the same fate as the Republicans. However, there was no need to worry because Hillary isn't a moron. Hillary Clinton unleashed some trumping awesome Amazon Warrior shit on the demon spawn this week. She gave a speech that left the demon spawn all kinds of trumped up. In a brilliant move worthy of the first woman President, she replaced the word fuck with trump. While speaking of Trump's ongoing fraud case with Trump University, Clinton shortened it to Trump U. Then, to my delight, she said this: "That doesn’t sound appropriate, does it. I am going to use that more. Because if he gets anywhere near the White House, you know what he is going to do. He is going to Trump U.”

Hillary Clinton is the first future first woman President of the United States to make cursing way more fun. Here are more highlights from her Trump-annihilating speech the way I heard them in my mind.

1.

He has a lot of ideas of who to blame, but no trumping clue what to do.

2.

We are not a country who cowers behind walls. That's what sniveling little trumptards do.

3.

He says climate change is a hoax invented by the Chinese. That's some trumped up bullshit.

4.

He doesn't have to listen to our generals because he has quote, 'a very good brain.' Do we really want him trumping around with ISIS?

5.

Donald Trump doesn't know the first thing about Iran or their nuclear program. Ask him and it will become abso-trumping-lutely clear.

6.

He picks fights with our friends because he doesn't give a flying trump about pissing off our allies.

7.

Making Trump President would be an historic mistake and total mind-trump.

Hillary concluded by telling Donald Trump to go trump himself. He's a trumping weak ass mothertrumper and he needs to trump off because he's trumping up America. There's no trumping way he'll ever be President and Hillary has enough trumping work to do when she becomes the first woman President of the United States without having to trumping clean up his clustertrump.