Well today is the day. Prince William, who is named after a county in Virginia, is marrying Kate Middleton in London. Ms. Middleton is not named after a county in Virginia.

One more long day of the media here in the states telling me how excited I am and “getting me ready for the big event”. Tomorrow we’ll have post game analysis by people who are somehow qualified to break all the action down for us and then, mercifully, we can begin to stop hearing about these people.

Let me be clear. I am certain these are two fine people who love one another. I’ve no issue with them marrying or that some people are intensely interested in how they go about becoming married. I am just sick of being informed that I am interested.

So here’s my plan. I am boycotting the wedding. I am pretty sure the happy couple will not be upset by that. My interest is simply to document my indifference because, well, I’m made that way.

Today is a day off from work for me. Throughout the day, I will be posting updates on my activities, none of which will be wedding related. I’ll pop on from time to time, update what is going on in the non-wedding world and answer your comments whenever I have a wi-fi connection or I’m home. I invite you all to participate. Stop by throughout the day to let me know what you’re doing instead of watching people get married.

Wedding fans, feel free to stop by and let those of us who aren’t playing know you’re having fun over there with whatever it is you’re doing. Watching the wedding isn’t my cup of tea. I don’t even like tea, but I certainly understand that you do. Come on over during commercials and time outs.

And Now, The Boycott

4 a.m.: The earliest coverage of the wedding that I am aware of starts at 4 am. I won’t be awake to catch it, so I’m setting this post to go up at that time so you all will know I’m still asleep.

Some of you are very visual people. I don’t know how to take a picture of myself sleeping and get it in the post. The best I can do is tell you that I am likely on my side, or maybe my back. I use two pillows and I keep the blanket up high over my shoulders.Unless something has gone horribly wrong, it is still dark where I am. I’ll be up around seven or so.

OK, there’s your first update on the progress of my boycott. I’ll update as events occur.

7:30 – Good morning! I am awake, refreshed and ready to begin consciously boycotting the wedding. ESPN is on. No mention of the wedding, but my Carolina Panthers have drafted Cam Newton at quarterback. I’m not sure that’s the best move. We’ve got someone at that position that is, at worst, serviceable. We’ve got no one at so many other positions. Hopefully I’m wrong

Yeah, 7:30. Sleeping in late. I wonder if that is sleeping in late to me because I’m getting older or because I get up at 4:30 on workdays? Time for some breakfast. Cap’n Crunch is on the menu this morning.

Happy to see I’ve got comments coming in already, I’ll look at them before cereal.

8:30 – Had some Cap’n Crunch on the back porch. Got a couple texts from my buddy Steve up in New York.

Sometimes I like being the only one at home in the neighborhood. It’s really quiet out here. Shower time. No video of shower time, as impressive as that would be…

9:45 – Errand time. Going to drop off an old computer desk that I’m getting rid of and maybe swing by the optician to get my glasses adjusted. Pretty sure I can remain wedding free there.

In other weird news, I went to get some socks out of my dresser. There was a $5 bill in my underwear drawer. What? Why? I scare me.

11:15 – So I get to the mall to go to Lens Crafters. I’m walking into the mall and this guy walks out. He is the clone of the prince that is not getting married. He even has the same hair.

I think people who look that much like other people don’t have good friends. If I looked like Prince Not Getting Married my friends would tell me I should probably cut my hair or something so that wouldnt be a problem.

I’m hungry. I’m going to go find a restaurant without a tv.

1:50 –

When I didn’t want to eat something when I was a kid my mother used to say “there are kids in China who would love that.” I don’t know why China was where all those kids lived. Be that as it may, I think there are people at the reception who would love some gumbo. I’ll bet you $5 they wont get any – the $5 I found in my underwear drawer.

I make a hell of a roux. Roux is the soul of good gumbo. I got the chance about a year ago to meet Bill Wharton, The Sauce Boss, who is a tremendous blues guitarist, showman, advocate for the homeless and the god of gumbo. I talked to him after a show and he helped me out with my gumbo recipe and especially with making my roux.

If you ever get a chance to see Bill play in your area, by all means do. Go see him, hear some great blues, have a bowl of the gumbo he makes during his show and bring a donation for his Planet Gumbo charity to help the homeless. He is a hell of a nice guy to meet. You’re not going to meet him at the royal wedding.Go see the show.

4:35 – You know, I have no idea what has happened in the world today. I know that whatever media exposure I have will be laced with wedding, so I have not watched TV or looked at news websites. This has been kind of cleansing. The boycott is a good thing. I’m relaxed. I havent heard any political foolishness, I don’t know what the highest grossing movie of the weekend is supposed to be. I don’t know the weather forecast. I don’t miss any of those things.

7:30 – Damn, I can cook. Got out for a walk, and have had a wedding free day.

Folding some laundry. I’m starting to really be behind this royal thing. Ignoring them makes me productive.

8:30 – Unbelievable. It is still on. They’re replaying it. Make it stop – please!

9;40 – Watching Fringe. I don’t watch this show enough to know what the heck is going on. People getting hit by lightning, some guy escaping a hospital in Massachusetts and taking a cab to New York. I’m shopping on line for music. A lot of commercials. Apparently there has been a wedding, film at eleven.

10:07 – Cardinals 3, Braves 3 – bottom of the ninth.

10:45 – time to get some sleep. Boycotts are tiring business

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75 Comments on “Boycotting The Royal Wedding – The Live Blog”

I’m impressed by your sleeping routine, Oma. I will pop in from time to time to check on your progress.

I would be smoking reefers or popping pills by now to take the edge off if I were that kind of Pie. As it is, I’m going in stone cold sober to the ceremony itself on TV, with the sound turned down to avoid the sycophantic commentary. I also wish the couple well, but the nonsense surrounding it and the assumption that the ‘whole country’ is excited, does not impress me one bit. If we don’t have the predicted downpour here in Blighty, I’ll be out on my skates later…

I’m boycotting the wedding by visiting June B Stewart (a slight change of plans from visiting the BF, but there’s always Vegas in June). We ar going to watch the shuttle launch from June’s lanai later.

No, the coverage began way earlier than 4 am. My habit at night, when I can’t sleep, is to turn on the radio. At 1 am, BBC was wetting its pants over the crowds gathering along the parade route. I nearly switched the station to country music. Instead, I cursed aloud and turned it off. I will visit you throughout the day, Oma, because I need to be reminded that something else is going on in the world besides a wedding. If I need escapism, I’ll surf porn. NOT.

Boycotting most television clears being “interested” in buying things, too. It keeps me free from being “interested” in celebrities (people mention names at work — I don’t recognize them).

It also keeps me from being interested in junk foods (normally, I’d be keen but I find that I *do* go get a shroom n swiss Arby’s only because I SAW it).

If everything were done like that 1 hour Lost thing I saw. They took the entire season (1st) of it and removed all the BS, then shoved it into approximately 44 minutes (hour-long show, minus commercials). It was fine. I’d have watched it if all the seasons were an hour long…maybe.

Oma to the rescue! I was just wondering with all of the media covering the wedding who was going to NOT cover it for us. I’ll be checking in during the day for up-to-the-minute coverage of the non-coverage. Thanks for providing this important public service.

I boycotted the wedding by sleeping through it and refusing to have any wedding-related dreams. I guess the wedding itself is over now, but I’ll be boycotting the rest of the day’s wedding-related coverage by going to work. Fun times.

I caught a glimpse this morning, just enough to satisfy my curiosity, but the TV is now off. I’m planning on staying far away from the madness — maybe mowing the lawn. Can’t hear much about the wedding there!

I have joined the boycott by changing the shoelaces on my sneakers……I don’t remember…is it left over right or the other way? Later I intend to blow my nose and then paint my whitewalls black. If the wedding and fanfare is still going on I will bleach my shorts without removing them and hang from my clothesline until this afternoon.

I have joined the boycott by changing the shoelaces on my sneakers……I don’t remember…is it left over right or the other way? Later I intend to blow my nose and then paint my whitewalls black. If the wedding and fanfare is still going on I will bleach my shorts without removing them and hang from my clothesline until this afternoon.

Hey!! Why is this printed twice? Am I special? Since I’m here again, I want to say that bleaching your underwear without removing them is not something you should try at home. Do it at work during lunch and stay seated at your desk in case the boss drops in. You may impress him and get a promotion… Just be sure to stand up when he walks in to your office.

Here’s my nonwedding update: I spent $50 to not fill my gas tank this morning. In other nowedding news, I shaved 2 minutes off my run this morning even with Luke trying to mark every damn bush we passed. Now THAT’S exciting stuff. I’ll check back later.

I’m sorry Oma. I’m Canadian, so it’s not legal for me to boycott the wedding, lest I be considered traitorous. Having said that, I’m sick, so leaving my bed this morning wasn’t exactly an option. Not wanting to commit mutiny against my most beloved monarchy though, I did PVR the whole event. When I’m feeling up to it, I’ll fast forward to the commercials.

I hate when the media tries to tell me what I should be interested in. I kept hoping that one reporter or tv commentator would just say, “Yeah, it’s nice, but can we talk about something else now?” Would it be the end of the world if a news person DIDN’T show interest in this wedding? I just don’t get it.

Love Cap’n Crunch but it’s so sharp it scratches the inside of my mouth. You are tougher than I, sir.

At 3:30am, Facebook Friends and I gathered to watched every single moment of the coverage while drinking tea and eating scones or left over Easter Candy. Its Friday, 1:30pm and the comments are well over 700 on my page on just one thread–there are many.
We have given the men and royal nay-sayers hives–talked hats, shoes, bling, and Royal babies and caused one Royal curmudgeon to “Poof” his sarcastic FB status and head off to the hills to golf.
As my good friend, and chief advisor Dr. Seuss says, ” I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells”.

I do think the Royal party should have asked you very nicely to send some gumbo. They missed out.

Thank you, I get that some people are digging it and I dont have a problem with it. It just bugs the hell out of me to have things hyped like this was. I’m glad you’re enjoying it KB…I’m betting you and your friends will be hitting the hay early tonight!

I think you need to send some Gumbo over asap. Or wait ’til they visits the states, then shove your way to the front of the crowd and present it to them.

Cap’n Crunch. Mmmmmmm… sounds so yummy. I don’t think I can get it here, unless I try Selfridges Food Hall. They have a section for American foods – all the healthy stuff like sweets (candy), super sweet drinks and peanut butter. Cap’n Crunch has to be there.

The rain stayed away and the sun was shining, so I had a little skate around Greenwich park this afternoon and very good it was too (the experience, not my skating ability!). I’ve been very impressed by the rundown of how you spent your day. Can I just say that Bill Wharton will now be one of my new favourite musicians. A man who can play guitar in a chef’s hat gets my vote (unlike Donald Trump).

Thanks for recommending my blog. It may not be for everyone, but for those who like it, I hope I will never disappoint.

I wanted to boycott it too, but when I turned on the morning news ABC was confused and thought the wedding was the news. I switched to NBC and they too were covering only the wedding. I’m too destitute to afford satellite and all those fancy channels like CNN, MSNBC, et. al. but maybe they too were showing only the wedding. Only your inauguration as Most Exalted High Pez Potentate deserves that sort of coverage….

I woke up at 4:30 but then again, that’s when my alarm goes off M-F. I turned on the TV at 7 am (AFTER the ceremony) but couldn’t find the weather because the wedding was on EVERY DAMN CHANNEL. I was ill-dressed for Friday’s weather, thank you very much.

Return from work Friday night. Watch entire 7-hour wedding spectacle in 30 minutes thanks to the ability to fast forward. I ate a pint ice cream to dull my senses. I’m lactose intolerant. Between wearing the wrong outfit and downing dairy, it was a rough day. Not at all royal.

Sorry I missed this, Oma. I was otherwise preoccupied last week with work. ANYway, I live in Prince William County, VA. No sightings here, though.

And can I have your gumbo recipe, PLEEAAASE?!?! I had homemade gumbo for the first time last Christmas, and I am craving it and wanting to make it myself. Unfortunately, I missed the roux being made, but it was darker than the roux I make for my gravy. WANT! 🙂

Of course – I’ll email it to you, please just shoot me a note to remind me and I’ll send it to you.

The roux is really the important part. You can really follow about any recipe but you’ve got to get the roux right. I quadruple the roux portion of the recipe and find that is a good quantity that allows me to cook it long enough to get good results but not burn it. You want to get it the color of an old penny. If it starts to get dry, add a little oil.

When I make a 4x batch of roux, i let it cool and freeze half for the next time I cook. It works really well.