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dating advice

Ok we get it. You like the Lakers. You bleed purple and gold. You know every players on the Lakers AND the opposing team’s stats. WE GET IT. We like sports too and some of us actually know the rules and may be fans as well. But for the first date, the last thing I want is for you to scream out of the top of your lungs and your eyes glued to the 55″ over the bartender.

Think about it. This is our first date and all we talk about is sexy athletes sweating their lights out panting all night long. See the picture? You shouldn’t remind us of who you are not. It’s the first date, eyes on us. This should automatically cross out movies also. If I want to watch a movie by myself, I would Redbox a movie. I want to get to know you and whats in that noggin to see if this is worth pursuing and if this online dating membership is worth renewing or not. Here are some tips from a lady to guys on what you should do on a first date.

1) Be assertive. Ladies hate it when you constantly ask “what do you want to do?”. Show some assertiveness. By now, you should know enough about us to know what we like. If you are not naturally assertive, do some homework to show you made an effort in researching a place we both can enjoy.

2) Get off your phone! Microsoft’s recent commercial on their Windows Mobile is spot on. You know, the one where there is a hot woman in lingerie but the guy has his eyes fixated on his phone? Seriously, which do you want to turn off? Us or your phone? You choose.

3) Set the length of the date. Prior to the date, tell us when you will send us home. There is no need to drag the date longer than it needs to. Setting how long the date will be will allow us to dress appropriately. Don’t surprise us by taking us to your favorite go cart joint.

4) Chill. Trust me, we don’t bite (at least most of us don’t). We’re in for the same thing. We both want to see if we are compatible. I don’t want to take 3 dates or more to get you to relax. Don’t feel pressured to be your best. Just be yourself.

5) Plan on how to end the date. Don’t plan on kissing us good bye before meeting us. Go with the flow. If we want a good night kiss, we’ll let you know. Don’t pressure us for the 2nd date or when to call us. Let us digest the date and we’ll go from there.

It wasn’t long ago when online dating was designated for desperate singles looking for a date. Times have changed. Similar to online shopping it has become a convenience and another channel to bring people together. Almost everyone knows one or more couples who met up through online dating sites. In a research by Lee Byron, roughly 3 million people go on first date each day worldwide! I wonder how many of those are from online dating? I put together the top 10 reasons why you should try online dating.

1) You get to decide who you want to start a conversation with – You no longer have to deal with friends introducing you to people whom you have never met before or know how they look. Through online dating, you can choose to initiate contact, respond or simply ignore requests. No more awkward, “I don’t think this will work out” text messages.

2) Enlarge your pool – Biggest difference in shopping online vs. shopping at a brick and mortar store is the selection. The same goes with online dating. Depending on which online date site, you can search amongst thousands of profiles expanding your reach.

3) Take the initiative – Initiate the change in your life! Admit it, you don’t want to die single or wait until you are on a walker to give in and try out online dating. Take the initiative to do something about it! Stop waiting.

4) Know the person before you meet – How many times have you read a self description / interest before meeting someone at a bar. Probably none. Online date sites typically will have information regarding the person’s vital interests. It could be their religion, if they want children, political views, interests, and much much more.

5) Search on your spare time – You don’t have to bother setting up appointments to meet your person. You can hop online to review profiles in whatever spare time you have. Review profiles during your lunch break, before you go to bed, or on the train.

6) Shortcut your preference to target dating sites – websites such as jdate.com, sugardaddy.com, amor.com, singleparentclick.com focuses on a particular group. You can cut to the chase by joining these like-minded or type services.You can avoid awkward moments where you reveal to your date for the night that you were previously married or that you have kids, or that you need to be with a Jew. Some of these target sites our for specific audience.

7) You know they are looking – Admit it. More than once you meet someone who you thought was hot only to find out about their beautiful spouse. You don’t have to worry about that with online dating. They are all looking.

8) Your network of friends just don’t cut it – After a while the same group of friends is well.. the same group of friends. You know everyone within your niche and is pretty sure that it won’t work out.

9) Your profile is all yours – You are responsible in building your profile. You decide which picture to put up, put into words your descriptions the way you like it. The key is to be honest and I highly discourage you from being deceiving (*cough cough* weight / age)

10) Last but not least, a fresh start – Through online dating, you can start fresh. Did you just get off of a bad breakup? Move into a new town? Want to change of scenery? Online dating is the best route.

You watch the clock on Friday afternoon. An hour before you get off work and you look at your day planner for the weekend. Nothing. You should have expected this weeks back when you started to notice the invites began to dwindle. Most of your friends are already hitched and just weren’t interested in having you over as their 3rd wheel. You on the other hand loath every time you see their Facebook updates of their escape trips.

This isn’t what you imagined.

Here you are, at the top of your career- educated and intelligent. Beautiful. Your friends joked that it would be hard to meet people after college. Today, it sounds more like a prediction that sadly found itself. It was then when you found out from so-and-so that your friend got engaged.

“What?! Impossible!”, you thought. How can that person get hitched before you!

Word began spreading that they met through an online dating website. You almost had a heart attack. You thought online dating websites were for losers, the un-date-ables, the ones who need a full makeover.

It was a bit after your friend’s wedding that you realized how happy they really were. What if they didn’t go online? Would they have met? No one really talked about how they met but how happy they were. It wasn’t that long ago when people would frown upon shopping online. Could this be the same? It might be. . it just might be.