On Being An Appetizer

In which fans of other teams discuss how much they'd like to face the Wizards.

Raptors Fan: Washington (Injury Rattled)- should be an ideal situation for the raps, even if our guys are working their way into "playoff form" or have playoff jitters, this should be an easy win for us.

Save room for dessert, evil Raptors persons.

Raptors Fan:Raptors should have no real problems taking it to the Wizards. I've followed the victories and they all seemed complete... and the most recent one was miraculous as well.

Chris Bosh: If the playoffs began today, it'd be Raptors-Wizards in a first-round best-of-seven. Bosh smiled at the prospect.

Heat Fan: Beating Toronto for third seed just got crucial. Arenas should be out for a while: Being at home vs Washington with Caron and Gilbert out: Haywood, Jamison, Hayes, Stevenson, Daniels. Not very imposing.

Did we say the Wizards were done yesterday? That needs to be amended: The Wizards are D-O-N-E. Through. Outta there. Caron Butler breaking his hand was bad enough, but last night Washington lost Gilbert Arenas to a sprained knee against the Bobcats. Arenas had been benched for missing shootaround earlier in the day, and once he checked into the game mid-first quarter, he was on the court for maybe two minutes before he collided with Gerald Wallace and went down. The MRI is scheduled for Thursday, but early word is that Gil will be out for a while. Without him and Caron, Washington could easily get swept in the first round no matter who they play.

Jeez, Dime, who spiked your Red Bull this morning? What if the Wiz drop to seventh, but then LeBron James, Larry Hughes, Z, Donyell Marshall, Drew Gooden and Eric Snow all sprain their knees whilst dancing polkas in Cleveland's ethnic neighborhoods? Would you still feel so grumpily confident in the Wizards' demise? Why can't you look on the bright side for a minute? Luckily, DC Optimist is here to make you feel better. Read on, as DCO discusses the ins and outs of knee sprains:

The injury usually occurs when God, in a wrath unexplanatory to us regular mortals, decides it is necessary to ruin the lives of his people. Instead of say, sending a Tsumani to some third world country or lighting a poor person's house on fire, God, in his vengeful ways, decides to touch the precious knee ligaments of certain NBA players. His reasons for doing so aren't always clear, maybe it's because a certain computer-wielding fan isn't going to church enough, maybe it's because every time Jarvis Hayes decides to pull up for another uncontested brick, that fan screams God's name out in vain, followed by a [bad word], or maybe it's because God has never cared for this certain individual nor his precious favorite basketball team and has relegated to torturing the team by allowing referees to ignore travelling calls and creating Kwame Brown.

There. Feel better? Disregard the difference between a Tsunami and a Tsumani; I'm going to Wizards practice to ask some important t-shirt questions.

can you ask Arvis if he can pull a Bonzi Wells in the playoffs? If wiz win the first round because of Arvis, I'd take back most angry thoughts I've had of him. All he needs is 4 games where he actually makes a J and plays D, and then he can find long money from a bushel of GM shmucks. EG won't be that shmuck, though.

Were they really handing out tshirts to everybody last night?! I saw a few fans on-camera wearing them, but since it was only a few, and they didn't try to give ME one at the door, I figured they, like, were actual friends of Deshawn or something.

All I got was the stupid rally towel. Which, might I add, was totally defective.