Roommate Confessions: Issue 39

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our new submission page!

My first year of college I met a girl and we began to date. Our second year of college we decided to move in together. After living with her for several months, I decided I could not take anymore of her bitchy attitude. I broke up with her and before she moved out I filled her shower curtain bar with dead shrimp. From what I heard she moved in and out of three apartments because of an unbearable odor in each of them. When she found what the source of the odor was while in the shower she freaked out, slipping in the shower and knocking out one of her front teeth. She looked like Alfred on the cover of MAD magazine.
Andrew Humerson, UC San Diego

I caught you stealing my shampoo. I hope you didn't lose too much hair when I replaced it with Nair on the last night we lived together.

Kevin McDonald, University of Washington

I worked at a restaurant with 2 other guys who were in the same fraternity but would pull shit on each other all the time. So one of them, let's call him Zack, quit and mooched some job from this girl that he hooked up with's dad. So one night as I am drinking beers with the other guy from work, let's call him "Jay", we start ripping on Zack and Jay tells me all this low-life shit Zack would do, and goes on to say he has his pass word to his facebook and school e-mail account, so we check his e-mail and laugh at how he never checks it because he has over 600 unread e-mails. Then we concoct a plan to fuck up his face book. So we log on to his profile, and create an event called "Zack's coming out party" set for the first weekend of school, and gay up his profile, like putting "sucking dick" in his interests, and put 2 dudes making out as his profile picture. We take it a step further and send a message to his exgirlfriend saying nothing more than "you are the reason". In the first 10 minutes of the defacement of his profile, people message him asking if it was real. So I had my laughs and went to school at the end of the summer, but over winter break I met up with Jay and remembered to ask him how that all turned out. Turns out people even as far awar from his hometown showed up to surprise him at his "party" at his fraternity house, and even more people from school showed up expecting some flamboyantly queer party. . . turns out his family confronted him about it as well.Jack, School Not Given

I only change my underwear twice a week, even if I poop my pants (which only happened twice). Basically, this is both an apology to my last year's roommate (when that girl saw my underwear on the floor, I told her they were yours. that's why she left. sorry, man), and an advanced apology to whoever ends up being my roommate this fall. Hopefully, he reads this, because I'd never admit this in person.Terry Morrison, NIU

My roommate freshman year had a girlfriend who would fly to Connecticut to visit him literally every other weekend. She would stay in our room for weeks at a time and leave all her clothing and bras all over my stuff. I can't count how many times I came back from class and had to wait outside because she was either screwing or changing in my room. She also happened to be a semi famous model. One day before leaving for class I opened photobooth on my mac and turned the brightness of my screen down all the way so it looked like it was off, and when I came back from class and the door was locked, I pulled my mac remote out and snapped a few pictures. Apparently Egotastic.com considered her a big enough celebrity to dedicate a whole article to her on their front page.David Williamson, Fairfield University