We begin this week with the story of a survey that claims that Americans are so technologically challenged that 10 percent of them think that HTML is an STD and 27 percent think that a gigabyte is a bug. Apparently there's some concern that the study's not valid, but we believe it because we used to have a friend who worked at a computer help desk, and when he'd ask callers what kind of computer they had, a distressing number of them would say, "A gray one."

Some poor guy in New York came home and found his apartment had been cleaned out. Not in a the-maid-came-by kind of way, and not in a robbers-came-by kind of way. In an every-blessed-thing-I-own-is-GONE kind of way. Turns out his landlord had hired a not-overly-picky-about-details trash removal service that had gotten the apartment number wrong and taken his stuff to the dump. There's a lesson here, but we're not sure if it's "At least OUR typos don't ruin people's lives," "Landlords are evil," or "Let's blame 'Hoarders' for this," so we're settling on the ever-popular "Thank God we no longer live in New York."

In France, a disgruntled man has been shoving feces into the money slots of ATMs in some sort of vague protest against "The System." It's a protest so disgusting that even the French newspaper's entertaining reference to "caca après caca" cannot improve it. Additionally, the question of whose poop it is goes unanswered, and we can't decide if that's comforting or not, so let's just point out that these are the people who gave the world the word "debacle" and move on.

Speaking of debacles, in India, a police department with a smooth PR department said that "a technical problem" prevented officials from acting on complaints filed with the department. In this case "technical problem" means the department lost the password for the computer system logging the complaints and was unable to access it for eight years. Eight years! It's not clear if they knew what HTML is and what gigabytes are, but this story really does lend credence to that people-are-technological-morons story, doesn't it? Eight years!

Back in the U.S., a man tried to rob a bank by handing a teller a note written on one of his mom's checks, apparently unaware that scribbling over your mom's name will not stop the FBI from cracking the case. He told officials his body was at the bank but his mind was not, which we're sure he was shocked to learn does not actually get you off the hook.