Friday, February 29, 2008

Vancouver <3 Trevor Linden

by Jes

Normally, a low-key fourth-line player with just seven points in 46 games wouldn't be all that popular with the fans. Trevor Linden, however, is no mere mortal in the eyes of many Vancouver Canucks fans and the citizens of Vansterdam.

Even with his waning and declining hockey skills, and after the whole NHLPA corruption scandal, the people of Vancouver still hold Trevor Linden is seriously high regard.

Linden for Mayor? Linden ranked 6th, ahead of Roberto Luongo, Chuck Norris, and actual mayoral candidate Peter Ladner. Imagine how high Linden would rank if he actually chose to run.

Unsung Hero - I wouldn't normally think of Linden as a unsung hero, but he ranks #2, ahead of even David Suzuki (who is becoming more of a corporate shill every day) and the person who taped the airport Taser incident.

Surprisingly, Linden ranked just 5th on the "Local Personality You'd Like to Invite to Dinner". Perhaps those cliched post-game interviews have sullied his reputation?

#1 was Michael Buble, the overrated lounge singer who seems to sell way more CDs than he should. Tell me, again, why people prefer his watered-down cover versions to the real thing?

Linden finished 2nd in the local personality people would want to date, and the only male in the top section. I know my own girlfriend finds Linden quite sexay, so it's no surprise Linden finished way ahead of the likes of the Sedinbots and Markus Naslund.

Despite his popularity with the girls, Linden finished just 2nd to Roberto Luongo as top Canucks player. Then again, it's amazing people would vote him #2 when he's like their 15th best player.

You've indirectly illustrated why the Canucks always have and always will blow. Management and fans revere a guy who never was all that good and peaked at least 10 years ago when Mike Keenan shipped him out.

Maybe he's the nicest guy on the planet. Who cares. He should have been playing rec hockey years ago.

But he was the neo-Canadian star of that fluke '94 Cup run so he's now revered as a God. Discerning fans would have recognized Pavel Bure for the once-in-a-lifetime talent that he was and put him on a pedestal instead of hounding him out of town.

They will eventually hound Robert Luongo out of town for not singlehandedly winning a Cup. Then 10 years from now they'll devote entire afternoon radio broadcasts to reminiscing about the "good old days" when the Canucks had the league's best goalie between the pipes.

Vancouver. Home of inept management and differentially challenged fans.

Despite his popularity with the girls, Linden finished just 2nd to Roberto Luongo as top Canucks player. Then again, it's amazing people would vote him #2 when he's like their 15th best player. Maybe they allowed even Eklund to vote?