clammy mass

Mayan Apocalypse Countdown: just 6 days left until the 13th b’ak’tun ends, initiating the Mayan Apocalypse on December 21st. Tick, tock.

Recent announcements by the reknowned archaeological scientists of North Korea discussed their discovery of the lair of a legendary unicorn high in the mountains. They needn’t have looked in such out of the way places, and instead visited Steinway Street here in Astoria. Unicorns abound.

- photo by Mitch Waxman

“Bing was not here” adjoins the wry graffiti, a response to an advertising campaign promoting a search engine. Such frivolity matters little to me, as preparation for the Mayan Doomsday is all consuming. The bunker, hidden deep below Astoria, has been activated. Your humble narrator is busy filling the vast pools of water and herding livestock into my subterranean grotto. Also, the still suits (modeled after the freemen models from dune) should be arriving from Amazon on Monday. The sleeper has awoken.