Tuesday, 12 March 2013

The 5 Myths of Extreme Self Care or What Kind of Excuses can I Come up with
Today? - By Lori Smith ***------------------------------------------------------------

Eight years ago I
was a control freak perfectionist workaholic! I worked 16 hour days, every day.
One day, I found myself siting in my car in the parkade and crying. I was tired,
sooo tired!

I decided that I needed to take care of me!

It wasn't easy and it took time, but today I can say
that my life has changed 180 degrees. I make decision everyday that lead me
further down the path of self love and self care.

Often people comment on my life and ask how I did
it... but many immediately become defensive and start to list off excuses for
why they can't make these changes in their life.... do you find yourself feeling
the same way?

Myth: This makes me feel too
selfish!Truth: If you don't take care of you, who will?

It is human nature to take care of others first;
normally it is our immediate or extended families.

Ask yourself this... what would your family do if
you died of a heart attack? Who would fix them then?

They would mourn and miss you, sure! But they would
pick up their lives and move on.

* What exactly have you done for yourself
lately?* How do you take care of yourself?* How do you acknowledge
yourself?

There are many
things that you can change about your life: jobs, careers, husbands/significant
other, cities, countries, houses, cars... But does changing any or all of these
things accomplish the feeling you are looking for? And if you make changes and
do NOT change how you are taking care of yourself, does it really impact your
life?

Things might change for a while, but they return you
right back to the same space unless you decide to change yourself. Then and only
then will things flow together and begin to feel like what you are looking
for.

Myth: My Family doesn't understand
me!Truth: Do you know how to ask for what you need?

It is not that you
family doesn't understand you.... It is that you have let them walk all over
you, of course not intentionally.

Taking into consideration that we are ‘doing what
must be done' to make sure things are taken care of, what steps have you taken
to let your family know what you need? It is easy!

* Talk to your significant other and family*
Ask for what you need* Your family says sure, they would be happy to help;
that's what families do

The next important
step is put into words that feeling you are looking for. I recommend reading
this over every week or so and updating it. As you start working through the
steps you will start to see new improved visions and feelings. You will be able
to be clearer and clearer of what you are looking to feel.

* The goal I want to achieve is:* The reason
I want to achieve this goal is:* My life would change in the following
manner if I achieved my goal:* I would be happier if I achieved my goal
because:

Maybe you have a very simple goal; maybe you just
need to spend 30 minutes a day in peace and quiet.

So let's try that
discussion again.

* Call a family meeting -- just let them know
you have something you want to run past them* Ask them what for what you
need -- I would like it if for 30 minutes after I get home from work, I can
spend time alone in my office/bedroom, I just feel that I want to be able to
switch gears from work and then I can spend better quality time with you because
I am not worrying about things at the office.* Your family says sure -- well
of course they do, your family loves you, they just didn't know that you needed
the time.

There is one catch
to this though. You actually need to do it. Use your 30 minutes: meditate,
exercise, read, BUT leave work at work and truly be fully present with your
family. If they can see that nothing has changed, then they will not accept your
boundaries.

Myth: I don't have the time!Truth:
Creating organization gives you the time.

Daily habits or rituals will help you organize your
time. How much time do you spend looking for your bills at the end of the month?
How much time do you spend on Saturday on doing laundry?

Now I have made a
conscious effort to get up 30 minutes early so that I have time to myself in the
mornings. To me the effort to get up is very little compared to the enormous
benefits I get from having my day completely organized.

The point is start something... even if the only
thing you do is wake up 15 minutes early and drink your water/juice in silence
while you are writing your "To Do" list for the day.

Myth: If I can't do it correctly, I don't do
it at all!Truth: Simple changes make a big difference.

You may be a control freak or a perfectionist. You
have being doing it for as long as you can remember and you probably have no
clue about where to even begin to stop.

But you can stop and you can move on from here.

First:
BreatheSecond: Breathe againThird: Pick just one thing to change

It is not possible to change everything in one day,
one week or one year even; this is a process, a journey to create a better
you.

Let me tell you
about the actions I took to do this.

1. I hired people around me that could take on some
of my redundant tasks.

2. I started to
say no to taking on additional tasks. I would simply say that I was loaded right
now, but they could check back in 3 months or I would recommend an ‘up and
comer' who had promise.

3. Sometimes, you
just need to shut off the light and leave the office. Maybe you didn't get
something completed; it will be there tomorrow. But your wife or husband might
not be, your kids are another day older, your parents are another day older.

It starts with
just one baby step, one simple little thing, like delegating those reports.

Myth: I know ALL of this, I have tired and I
failed!Truth: Knowing is one thing, taking ACTION is totally
different.

I am not one to
dwell on the negative or the failures. You tired and failed before - that means
one less way to try it. Now is the time to try something new.

Now is the
time to take action! Success doesn't have to be complicated. It's about doing
the little things every day. Each week, focus on making one change.

Once you get it
down, focus on something else. If you improve just one thing every week, imagine
the change you'll see over the next five years.

Did you hear
yourself in some of these excuses? Did they make you feel uncomfortable? Great!
Now you have a great starting point. Now you can make the decision to take back
control and you can choose each and every day to focus on self love and self
care.