Key Points

Steps

Part 1

Before Sex

1

Relax and be positive. Premature ejaculation is as much a physical issue as a mental one. Try not to create a self-fulfilling prophecy by labeling yourself as sexually incompetent in any way. Approaching sex with confidence, self respect, and a positive attitude rather than fear and self-doubt can make all the difference for both you and your partner.

2

"Practice" with yourself. Masturbation is perfectly healthy and natural, and doing it regularly can help you build up your stamina, prevent premature ejaculation,[1] and even relieve stress and anxiety. Plus, the more time you spend with yourself, the more familiar you will become with your body so that you can more easily recognize when you get too excited. That way, during sex, you can know when to slow down or change positions before it's too late.

3

Find a regular sexual partner if possible. Men tend to get particularly worked up during their first time with a new woman, especially if this woman is somebody he has been lusting after for a long time. Realize that sometimes it really isn't you, but rather, how attracted to and excited you are about being in bed with her. And that's perfectly ok.

Being in a monogamous relationship is a great way to improve your performance in bed, and the more time you spend with one person, the more comfortable and confident you will feel during sex.

4

Wear a condom. Lots of men complain that condoms decrease pleasure and sensitivity during sex, but if you're trying to last longer in bed, that might be just what you need. And, of course, there's the added bonus of preventing against unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

5

Cut down on alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. Using these substances in excess may interfere with your ability to control ejaculation.[2]

6

Use a topical medication. Desensitizing sprays and creams have been used for years to help men last longer but the side effects of sensation loss and partner transference have prevented them from widespread use. There is a new class of topical sprays with absorption technology that enables a mild anesthetic to penetrate the outer layer of penile skin to the nerves below that control ejaculation, providing superior control and good sensation for the man and generally unnoticeable transfer to the woman. There are several products available in the U.S. at the moment.

These are not available in all pharmacies. Search online for "penis spray" to find places to order online.

Part 2

During Sex

1

Don't skip foreplay. Studies have shown that couples that indulge in foreplay report having sex for longer than those who don't.[3] Instead of getting right down to business, take some time to cuddle, kiss, touch one another, and so on. The more time you spend on foreplay, the longer you'll be in bed together.

If you get too excited during foreplay, stop her from doing whatever she's doing and focus all of your attention on her instead.

2

Change positions often. This can shift your attention. Plus, exploring different sexual positions can make sex more exciting and ensure that both partners are satisfied.

Also, don't be afraid to stop having sex temporarily to focus on her.

3

Try to distract yourself. If you find yourself getting too excited during sex, try to distract yourself from how turned on you are by thinking about something completely unrelated to the situation, like work or school. Temporarily diverting your attention can help you relax and slow down.

Whatever you think of, make sure that it's something that doesn't turn you on sexually in any way.

4

Take slow, deep breaths. Many men find that breathing slowly and deeply during sex can help them last longer. This can be attributed to the fact that breathing helps us relax. Try to breathe deep into your belly. Feel it expanding as you inhale. It may also help to hold your breath for two or three seconds before exhaling, slowly. This holding can have a calming, centering effect.

5

Let her be in control. The person who is in control is usually the one experiencing most of the pleasure; letting her be in control can help decrease some of the sensitivity you feel.

Make your environment more intimate by using candles and romantic music. Foreplay can also make sex seem more intimate. Before you start having sex, kiss and caress your partner to get him/her into the mood. After sex, cuddle for a while.

This article is mostly focused on men. What about women who want to increase their stamina?

wikiHow Contributor

Many women feel hypersensitive after an orgasm, and dislike further stimulation. This usually lasts between a few seconds and a few minutes, during which time you can try a non-vaginal sexual activity. If it's an anxiety issue and not a physical one, you may be too focused on orgasms. Many women enjoy continued sex after an orgasm, without trying to have a second one.

If he scrapes or tears his foreskin, you may not have used enough lubrication. Stop having sex until he heals completely. If it looks inflamed or seriously torn, he should visit a doctor promptly. Also make sure it's not a yeast infection, which can make the penis red and irritated.

Reducing it to a number of minutes is a mistake. Find out what she likes through conversation and by trying out different approaches. This will make her more satisfied and you less anxious, which in turn will reduce the chance of premature ejaculation.

Naturally partners moan during sexual activity, but they're moans of pleasure, not of pain. If your partner is in pain - and it's not one of their first times having sex - it would be advisable for them to see a doctor.

Most of these "medications" are scams that show up in popup ads. There are a few legitimate options (in addition to the desensitization sprays mentioned in this article), but they can have unpleasant side effects. Visit a doctor to learn more about them, and about alternate, side-effect-free methods that focus on anxiety. (And seriously, don't click the popup ads.)

Now that I'm in my 60's, I've started to experience premature ejaculation. How can I last longer?

wikiHow Contributor

Premature ejaculation is linked to anxiety about sexual performance. This anxiety can return in middle age and later as erections become more difficult to maintain. Try to relax and remember that all men experience this change, and it does not stop you from having great sexual experiences. Try to spend more time on playful foreplay to reduce anxiety.

If this question (or a similar one) is answered twice in this section, please click here to let us know.

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sex positions to make him last longer

Tips

Take a warm bath before sex.

Try to keep sex at a relatively slow pace, at least in the beginning. Control your tempo if you can, and remember that sex isn't a race.

Try to prevent tension building in your penile base area. Your brain recognises this tension and commands a release in the form of ejaculation. The more relaxed you are, the more pleasure you will feel and the longer you will last.

Always be comfortable and let her touch you. Also get excited and try to be yourself.

Have fun. If you have fun and a bit of a giggle sometimes it can be amazing, maybe offer cuppa and chocolate after too.

Have sexual looks at her/him.

These tips won't help with erectile dysfunction, the inability to achieve or sustain an erection.[4] If you think you may have ED, talk to your doctor to find a treatment option that's right for you.