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Every Breastfeeding journey is different, takes a different path, and a different amount of time. When it comes to an end it is always bittersweet. Here is the story of Megan’s Journey.

Photo by JennaAshleyPhotography

I decided I wanted to breastfeed for many different reasons, anything else wasn’t an option for me.
I unfortunately couldn’t physically breastfeed Tanner, so I did the next best thing and pumped exclusively for 4 months.
With Ariea I told myself that if I couldn’t that I wouldn’t stress about it like I did Tanner and that it was OK to take another route. Luckily she latched on like a champ just shortly after birth (by csection and I had heard it’s a bit more difficult to breastfeed after a section, whether it’s true or not I don’t know)
The ‘like a champ’ latch didn’t last very long and we were struggling. Part of me wanted to give up and just pump or formula feed but I told myself I would give it 10 days and if I was still having a hard time that I would deal with it then.
Well day 10 came and everything was back on track and fantastic.
Every moment from then on, if we started having trouble, which we did, latching problems, low supply, preferring one side to another, I just told myself “make it to day _ _” I gave myself little mile stones to meet, 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, etc.
Now, at 6 months and huge, she’s decided it’s time to wean herself and is refusing the breast and prefers bottles, and I’m okay with that.
We made it so far, a lot further than i believed we could, or I could. I had a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding and wouldn’t change anything for it brought Ariea and I closer together.
I would never have gotten this far with out the support, love, and advice from 5 super amazing women, my beautiful and best friend Rebecca, my amazing and encouraging cousin Afton, of course my own mom, my wonderful mother in law, and a long distance friend and lactation know it all, Kayleigh, but most of all though, 1 super amazing and supportive husband.
Breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful thing, but so is pumping, formula and bottle feeding.
Everyone has their own story, this is ours 💜

-Megan

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There is a Formula feeding blog called “The Fearless Formula Feeder” They posted a blog post about how they are upset that formula is not being distributed in the Philippines, and how they believe that it is unfair that the government is refusing Formula as donations. They instead ask for clean drinking water.

I searched the comments to see what others thought of this blog post that I found under-researched, and misleading. I found a comment from someone who is actually there…. Instead of me writing out what I think I think we should just read her post since it is closer to the truth than we are.

Hello… I decided to answer here because your blog posts will be more easily accessible/searchable than your FB post

First of all, thanks for the concern for our welfare… especially those of the mothers of young babies and the babies themselves. Hopefully though, you will allow us the same concern.

The fact is, despite being breastfeeding advocates, we also care for the welfare of the mixed fed and the formula fed. Our government may be vetoing the donation of formula but that never meant we will allow formula-fed babies to suffer, get sick, die just because they are formula fed. There is a system in place where formula for formula fed babies can be had during disasters, at evacuation centers. There is budget to buy milk for them as well as that fact that they can freely ask milk companies to donate the milk required in these evacuation centers (if they have money to just dole them out for free at conferences, please trust me, that they have funds enough to give them for free after natural calamities).

Another fact is that most Filipino moms, as well as other nationalities I presume, start out breastfeeding. Only around 35% are still exclusively breastfeeding after 6 months in our country but a lot are still mix-feeding. Based on experiences in relief missions, most mothers are really breastfeeding to some degree… so there is no NEED for indiscriminate formula distribution. And if the child is older than 1 year old, formula becomes even more unnecessary as the goal becomes more about getting good solids into that baby.

Of the 9 infants brought to our tent today at the Air Base where survivors are being brought… only one was formula fed. All were breastfed. And we sure had formula and feeding bottles for that baby. We had clothes for him as well. And well-meaning people who bought formula were thanked as graciously as those who only brought clothes or diapers.

Now, is it wrong for our government to turn away formula donations? I say not, because the need for such is not high on the list. And yes, please trust me, that once we get a lot of them out there… they will be used, even by those who don’t need them. Unfortunately, safe water and sterility IS always an issue in our evacuation centers (as well as stricken areas).

Is it wrong for our government to wish instead to get cash, or clothes, or maybe other baby needs? I say not. Because those ARE high on the list that we need post-calamity.

Is it wrong for us advocates to remind our friends not to give formula donations? I say not… because for the same amount of money, they could already have bought a family 1-3 days worth of food (and Filipino families tend to be bigger than most Western families, so much more mouths to feed). Can you blame us for wanting more water instead? More fruits? More rice? More cooked food? More clothes?

Isn’t it sadder for an evacuation center to be flooded with formula and powdered milk donations… where everyone gets handed a can (this has happened many times before, we have since become stricter, and thanks to social media, it has been more easily prevented)… while most of the evacuees/survivors go by without clean drinking water? Without food? Without can openers or stoves to open and cook the canned goods and rice they are given?

Is it so wrong to have toddlers (babies past age 1) start weaning off formula feeding bottles and get started on more solid intake instead? I will admit that improperly cooked food WILL still cause illnesses but again, for the same price, a family could feed the entire family and not just the child. It would logistically be more draining for a struggling family in the long term to support formula feeding by one member of the family (when it is no longer necessary).

I have to emphasize the above because the trend in the country now is that toddlers and preschoolers NEED milk, when what they need is calcium, (as well as other vitamins, minerals)… all of which can be had from a balanced diet and eating indigenous food (we even have a folk song of sorts listing high-calcium food that is more readily available, even for poor families.)

And dare I add the sad fact that those who will be left behind in evacuation centers will be the truly marginalized ones… the ones without good education, or a network of supportive family to support them. I cannot even begin to imagine just how many those will be post-Yolanda. And these truly marginalized ones will NEVER be able to sustain formula feeding, so it is really in the best interests of the government to get them to relactate (if they were only mix feeding, as most cases are) not only to reduce costs for formula purchase for them, but also to reduce risks of badly prepared formula (we have met evacuees who dilute milk, or prepare them with rainwater gathered in pails, or even portalet water).

And yes, I understand how our government must be failing our marginalized post-calamity (or the Filipino as a people, but I digress)… but allowing for indiscriminate donation and distribution of formula and powdered milk will not make our local government units act faster on relocation, sanitation and health issues. But again, the babies will have been put at risk.

Which is why we (breastfeeding advocates) are proud and happy that our government at least has the gumption to say NO to formula donations. I hope though that it is not taken out of context and that people from other parts of the world do not necessarily assume that we are awful creatures so scared of milk company propaganda. (well, we are scared of how they can be underhanded at times, but we are not awful creatures).

We are mothers like most of you are, who see the face of our own precious little ones in the faces of other children.

We are professionals like some of you are… and educated as most of you are… we have thought this through, are aware of the facts, consider both the short and long term.

Unfortunately though, some of our people have been brainwashed into thinking that what is bought is better than what they already have or can give… and some of them have failed to compute the cost to their family of formula feeding when they could have otherwise continued breastfeeding (going back to how most start out breastfeeding anyway, and with the right information and support could have really been successful at it, barring physiological and medical impediments). We speak for them.

Again, thank you for thinking about Filipino babies and young children and their moms… now, kindly trust that we think of them too.

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So I sit here tonight, and I ask myself, why are these young mothers choosing formula? Formula which is 30$ + a can and lasts less than a week over a milk that God or mother nature gave us that is free. These young mothers, just starting out, families that have little to spare, they are sparing it all for formula.

Is it so that they may go out and party, or is it so that they may feel a little more free, for some of them maybe, but I doubt it the case for them all. I feel that lack of education and knowledge, lack of showing and teaching.

As little girls many of us are taught that babies are fed from bottles with milk that you mix. From milk that is powder, that is mixed with bottled water, another expense. The girls that pretend to give babies milk from their chest like their mothers are treated like they are doing it wrong, as their friends give baby a bottle. Baby a bottle, not a breast.

Bottles are expensive and the formula companies now have the upper hand, as baby dolls are sold with bottles, and when one brave mother came out with a baby doll that is supposed to be breastfed, she made the news as she had angered other mothers and the media and most of all the formula companies.

So as little girls we are taught, how to feed a baby. Baby comes with a bottle, you hold her like this, change her like that, and feed her with this, this bottle.

Then they reach highschool, and again they are taught, in parenting class you feed them with this, this bottle.

The science is there, the formula companies know it. If they didn’t believe it to be true, why would their advertising lines be “closest ever to mothers milk” or like Nestlé “closest formula to breastmilk” they even advertise that “breastmilk is best for your baby” yet these young mothers seem to believe that it is normal to feed baby a bottle. It’s all the same…. but it’s not.

Breastmilk is prevention, it’s proven, babies fed with breastmilk are sick less often, less likely to catch colds, or flues, or other illnesses. Diabetes prevention, children who are breastfed are less likely to to have childhood diabetes. So why are we not doing anything to prevent these mothers from turning a blind eye, why are we not educating… Should we not be excited, here is a way to save tax dollars, here is a way to save the government welfare money that they would hand out to young mothers who could not finish high school, got pregnant and need to buy baby formula.

So here is what I propose…. Start in schools…

We need to start in the young schools, and continue to highschool, teaching about breastmilk, and breasts for that matter. Educating the boys, because it’s easier to breastfeed with your partners support, and which young man doesnt dream of an Einstein quarterback for a son. More importantly educating the young ladies, why wouldn’t they want to save that money 30$ a week at least for shoes, and shopping and cute outfits for baby? Why wouldn’t they want to save 500 calories a day on average for chocolates or cake, or something sweet, instead of going to a gym to get rid of baby weight that just won’t seem to come off because of formula in a bottle. What woman today is not scared of breast cancer, let us tell them that their chances of getting it are 5% less likely if they breastfeed. We need to show them celebrity role models, who we know they love, P!nk She breastfeeds, and Julie Bowen too. Kourtney Kardashian, and beautiful model Miranda Kerr.

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And I don’t mean just sitting in public breastfeeding because none of us should ever be ashamed or embarrassed of doing such an amazing thing for our child.

I now look back and laugh so hard at the times I thought I was going to die because my son enjoyed showing my boob off to the world.

My first story happened when my second was less than a month old, With a toddler and a newborn I was always tired. I had my toddler down for a nap and thought it would be a good idea for me to lay down in bed and feed the baby. We had both fallen asleep when there was a knock at the door. It took me a few seconds to jump up realize I had fallen asleep and run to the door. I accepted and signed for a parcel not even phased by the dirty look he was giving me. After he left I went back to the room and saw in the mirror that my boob was hanging right out.

My second story was due to my son’s love for showing off my boob.
My son at this point was a few months old and was easily distracted from eating. We went to a restaurant for dinner with my mom. We had a male waiter who seemed very nice. While he had come to take our order I was trying to feed my son, I am very pro feeding where ever I felt like it without a cover. My waiter was staring at me while taking my order, but continued when he asked my brother what his order was. I looked down to find my son staring at him while he stared at my breast. I laughed it off. But boy if I was a first time mom I think I would have turned tomato red instead of just a darker pink colour.

What are your breastfeeding boobers? I mean Bloopers.

-Kayleigh May

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That is what Kristen Laface was told when she was nursing at the Howard Armstrong pool in Hanmer, while sitting on the deck.
The Sudbury mom was told to go to the change room. The problem in this situation is the lack of education that the staff at the Howard Armstrong pool, All the way up to the management. The manager of the Howard Armstrong pool told her that they had no policy regarding breastfeeding and were referring to the policy of wearing a top in the pool. Well yes a woman must wear a shirt in the pool. However when breastfeeding Kristen did cover up in courtesy of the other swimmers with a towel. The manager then went on to tell Kristen that they were working on a policy banning breastfeeding at the pool. REALLY!!!

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In Ontario, by law you are allowed to feed your baby anywhere. This includes restaurants, parks, shopping centers or your in-laws home. “According to the Ontario Human Rights Commission policy, no one should prevent a mother from breastfeeding her child, ask her to cover up or move her to another area.”

You can breastfeed discreetly, or breastfeed out in the open without any covers. It is up to you and your baby. What makes you feel comfortable.

A woman also has the right to pump while at work. She is to be given a private comfortable area where she may express milk for her baby.

Know your rights and educate yourself.

What to do if someone Comments?
Pass them a blanket to put over their head.

“What can I do if someone asks me to stop breastfeeding in public?
1. Do what you need to do so that you can breastfeed your child comfortably.
2. Talk to the owner, manager, or the individual who asked you to stop breastfeeding. Tell the person:
• It is your right to breastfeed in public.
• You will make a complaint to the Ontario Human Rights Commission if you are asked again to leave, move or cover up.”

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It is important for a partner to support his wife during breastfeeding. How can Dad help?

Sit next to your partner while feeding, rub babies head, or moms shoulders. Help her get as comfortable as she can. Encourage mom to stay in the room, many times mom will feel uncomfortable when breastfeeding for the first few times in public. It can be frustrating to have to leave the room and listen to conversation from afar and not get to participate.