The official North Korean news agency KCNA has announced the development of a new drink that is loaded with all-natural "microelements" that can reproduce brain cells and halt skin aging. Added bonus: "The drink has no side-effect."

The KCNA (via AFP) also reported that the super drink "proved efficacious among workers of such industrial establishments as thermal power station and smeltery and at medical institutions." And besides helping the proletariat to work harder, faster, and more efficiently, the super drink, "with effects of both preventive and curative treatment, helps improve mental and retentive faculties by multiplying brain cells." Mental faculties are important, especially when you have a nuclear arsenal at your disposal!

And if you dread the thought of aging, fear not, because the state-owned Moranbong Carbonated Fruit Juice Joint Venture has you covered: "It also protects skin from wrinkles and black spots and prevents such geriatric diseases as cerebral hemorrhage, myocardium and brain infarction by removing acid effete matters in time." Moranbong has enticed investors from China and Germany, too. Investment opportunity!