My World and the Real World

Function spec for Boiling Milk

Apparently boiling milk is a complicated process with technical challenges. I realized this 30 minutes back after my botched attempt to manage the entire lifecycle of drinking milk.

I’m a Software dude with several years of experience under my belt, with sufficient knowledge of SDLC (jargon time, hopefully recruiters have a eye here) . But when I tried to manage this process, there were challenges, failures and timely help from senior managers a.k.a Dad.

Lessons Learnt:

1) Never do this at your home.

2) Gas stoves are no longer simple machines.

3) Always have experts around you during initial attempts.

Before I go into my early morning antics, the reader should know that I don’t enter the Kitchen perimeter unless really required. The kitchen has been declared as a restricted area by Mom. But today was exception, it is well known that gamers become very hungry after a hard night’s gaming on xbox 360 with friends. We were playing Left4Dead 2, an awesome game when played in cooperative mode.

So here I was very hungry, after playing all night and after exhausting the household supply of cream biscuits, I was still very hungry (as usual). Luckily it was after 5:30AM, milk would be delivered. Aha a source!

My part everyday

Everyday my milk related process would be to walk in a trance into the kitchen (i’m known to be very tired in the morning), pick up my porcelain mug, add 2 spoons of sugar, 1 spoon of Bournvita, add milk and re-heat the milk for 30 seconds in the microwave. By the way using the microwave to re-heat cold milk was my very own idea (Beat this mom..hah!). Done.

The Lifecycle

For my friends and other city dwellers, the entire process of getting milk to your mouth is a little more complicated. Simplified for the readers here

1) Milk packets are dropped@5:30 in the box kept outside the front door.

2) Milk Packets are transported to the kitchen limits. Poured into the the appropriate vessels. Note that you are allowed to use only pre-designated vessels (approved by mom) for boiling. Otherwise the milk will “break”.

3)Place it any one of the four burners of the stove and switch on. After approx 2 minutes, milk starts boil, the stove will be switched off at exact moment before spillage happens. Not a moment sooner or later. It has to be very precise.

4) The milk is allowed to cool down and now various residents of the household can make merry. We use with cereal, as tea, as plain milk and of course me with my Bournvita .

First Mistake

Was thinking that this was simple. Thats where I was deceived, although it looks simple, lot of care, attention and patience are required. Things which I fortunately lack. Unfortunately everyone was still sleeping at this time. So I rose to the occasion to become the man of the house (but men of the house don’t belong in the kitchen)

More mistakes

Based on the above 4-step process, the only thing that went right, was me transporting the packets to the kitchen. For starters, I chose the wrong vessels. Fortunately, dad just woke up and gave me the right ones. Unfortunately for him he had more faith in me then I did in myself.

So just when the milk was boiling and rising to the brim on burner #4, I was well prepared to shut off the burner, and at the exact moment I turned the knob in the wrong direction and also realized that it was supposed to be burner #3.

Action: So wrong knob in the wrong direction.

Result: Spillage!!!!!!

Luckily dad was overseeing the process and intervened to switch of the right burner in the right way. Otherwise the disaster would have turned into a catastrophe. I dutifully handed over the clean-up operation to him and left the scene of disaster with my cup of Bournvita.

I think I will stick to what i’m good at – making fun of myself on this blog. Hopefully you will have an amusing (and spillage free) Saturday morning. Good Night (Morning to you).