Finally found a RE I clicked with....

I need some advice.. I have been riding the secondary infertility roller coaster for about 3 yrs... We had lots of complicating factors.. Controlling my PCOS, death of my father in law, hubby was in and out of hospital last summer, a miscarriage that happened from an unmedicated and monitored cyvle, my hubby finally agreeing to another SA.... And finally realizing maybe wifey knew best and he should have taking the vitamins that helped us conceive our first child.. anyhow my first re experience resolidified my belief that RE are selling a cash business to desperate women and men. I was so turned off my his short answers and obsession with buying a three month plan because I am 38 and hubby is 45... Yesterday, I had a real appt lasting 1 1/2 hrs and the doc understanding our journey a little better... Now we are at a cross road.. Do we do IVF after we said we would never spend that kind of money having a child when we already have one or do we continue to leave it up to God and nature... Anybody out there have any advice??? For some reason, I always feared IVF... Maybe because during med school, I wanted to be a RE and witnessed so many couples roller coaster rides and losses... Sorry for the rant!!!

I need some advice.. I have been riding the secondary infertility roller coaster for about 3 yrs... We had lots of complicating factors.. Controlling my PCOS, death of my father in law, hubby was in and out of hospital last summer, a miscarriage that happened from an unmedicated and monitored cyvle, my hubby finally agreeing to another SA.... And finally realizing maybe wifey knew best and he should have taking the vitamins that helped us conceive our first child.. anyhow my first re experience resolidified my belief that RE are selling a cash business to desperate women and men. I was so turned off my his short answers and obsession with buying a three month plan because I am 38 and hubby is 45... Yesterday, I had a real appt lasting 1 1/2 hrs and the doc understanding our journey a little better... Now we are at a cross road.. Do we do IVF after we said we would never spend that kind of money having a child when we already have one or do we continue to leave it up to God and nature... Anybody out there have any advice??? For some reason, I always feared IVF... Maybe because during med school, I wanted to be a RE and witnessed so many couples roller coaster rides and losses... Sorry for the rant!!!

Oh gosh honey. I wish I had some advice. I am torn on ivf as well. I don't believe I will get pregnant without ivf but I have to go through steps to get there or my ins won't pick it up. I'm at injections right now, well if AF would ever show. I'm late, no sign of the witch and bfn. Wish I knew what was going on in there. I know what you mean about having the right dr makes all the difference. Absolutely love my re and trust him. That's so important. I have so many reasons I'm terrified of ivf. The ethical issues, no guarantee it will even work, ad your right the extreme ups and downs. I just don't know if I can take it all! I just lost my stepfather. My dad was just diagnosed with cancer. I think I may just need a brake but I'm afraid to. Do you ever feel like that? Like if I take a break maybe that would have been the month it worked! Ugh! Just wanted to say I understand and I'm here for you! Sorry we are going through all this. I wish it was easy for us like it seems to be for all the undeserving people out there. We just have to keep our faith that it will happen one day. Again sorry! Hugs!!!!

Oh gosh honey. I wish I had some advice. I am torn on ivf as well. I don't believe I will get pregnant without ivf but I have to go through steps to get there or my ins won't pick it up. I'm at injections right now, well if AF would ever show. I'm late, no sign of the witch and bfn. Wish I knew what was going on in there. I know what you mean about having the right dr makes all the difference. Absolutely love my re and trust him. That's so important. I have so many reasons I'm terrified of ivf. The ethical issues, no guarantee it will even work, ad your right the extreme ups and downs. I just don't know if I can take it all! I just lost my stepfather. My dad was just diagnosed with cancer. I think I may just need a brake but I'm afraid to. Do you ever feel like that? Like if I take a break maybe that would have been the month it worked! Ugh! Just wanted to say I understand and I'm here for you! Sorry we are going through all this. I wish it was easy for us like it seems to be for all the undeserving people out there. We just have to keep our faith that it will happen one day. Again sorry! Hugs!!!!

Go with your heart. My dh and I have been in the game 6 yrs and have gone through a whirlwind of miscarriages and hubby issues (dialysis, kidney transplant, lots of hospital visits.). I never wanted to be this age (37) and be without a child. Bottom line, we want a family and it's just not going to happen the ol' fashion way. I once believed that it was up to God, but I remember being told that God helps those who help themselves. I wasn't going to sit around and try without finding out why it wasn't happening. I made the initiative to find a doctor who could get to the root of my issues as I was told it was unexplained. We both took our time figuring out if IVF was right for us andvwe kept coming back to the fact we wanted a family and weren't getting any younger. The money was never an issue when our desires outweighed the cost. Yes, it's an emotional rollercoaster and I only pray that God gives me the stenghth to handle whatever results come our way. We are two days away from our first ET. It may not happen on the first try, but with my faith we will be parents one way or another.

I cant really give much insight other than sharing my story and telling you to go with your heart. If your desire is to have more than one child, then you need to find out how to make it happen. Good luck on your journey!

Go with your heart. My dh and I have been in the game 6 yrs and have gone through a whirlwind of miscarriages and hubby issues (dialysis, kidney transplant, lots of hospital visits.). I never wanted to be this age (37) and be without a child. Bottom line, we want a family and it's just not going to happen the ol' fashion way. I once believed that it was up to God, but I remember being told that God helps those who help themselves. I wasn't going to sit around and try without finding out why it wasn't happening. I made the initiative to find a doctor who could get to the root of my issues as I was told it was unexplained. We both took our time figuring out if IVF was right for us andvwe kept coming back to the fact we wanted a family and weren't getting any younger. The money was never an issue when our desires outweighed the cost. Yes, it's an emotional rollercoaster and I only pray that God gives me the stenghth to handle whatever results come our way. We are two days away from our first ET. It may not happen on the first try, but with my faith we will be parents one way or another.

I cant really give much insight other than sharing my story and telling you to go with your heart. If your desire is to have more than one child, then you need to find out how to make it happen. Good luck on your journey!

For me, I try to take the path of least regret. So five or ten years down the road, if you don't end up having a second child, would you more regret spending the money on a failed IVF or not even trying IVF?

For me, I try to take the path of least regret. So five or ten years down the road, if you don't end up having a second child, would you more regret spending the money on a failed IVF or not even trying IVF?

Ladies, thank you so much for your input. Not sure what I will do but hoping with time, we can make the best decision. I admire all the IVF ladies so much.. The financial, physical , and emotional stress must be so so tough.

Ladies, thank you so much for your input. Not sure what I will do but hoping with time, we can make the best decision. I admire all the IVF ladies so much.. The financial, physical , and emotional stress must be so so tough.

I agree, the path of least regret. My friend is going through the same thing. They already have one and don't know if they should do ivf or buy a house. Such an easier decision when you don't have any kids, but no aspect of infertility is easy. We are pregnant with our second. The first took us three rounds and so much heartache. Trying for number two, we got lucky the first time. No guarantees. I am glad you found an re you like. That is worth it's weight in gold. I will tell you what I told my friend. Keep going forward until you just don't want to anymore. Just take it one step at a time. You can get off this roller coaster whenever you want.

I agree, the path of least regret. My friend is going through the same thing. They already have one and don't know if they should do ivf or buy a house. Such an easier decision when you don't have any kids, but no aspect of infertility is easy. We are pregnant with our second. The first took us three rounds and so much heartache. Trying for number two, we got lucky the first time. No guarantees. I am glad you found an re you like. That is worth it's weight in gold. I will tell you what I told my friend. Keep going forward until you just don't want to anymore. Just take it one step at a time. You can get off this roller coaster whenever you want.

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