Tuesday, August 12, 2014

SELF HELP - HOW TO FEEL GOOD

Here is an article from my SELF HELP archives on HOW TO FEEL GOODI first wrote this around 30 years ago, but I feel it may still be relevant.

HOW TO FEEL GOOD

Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Let me begin with a quote from the inimitable stoic philosopher EPICTETUS:

Some things are under our control, others are not

Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle:

Some things are within our control, and some things are not

It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can control and what you cannot control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible

…Epictetus

THOUGHTS and FEELINGSThoughts play a very important role in your life, whereas your feelings can make or break you and also affect the lives of others around you.

We often let our attitudes or feelings hold sway over our lives, rather than let our thoughts govern our lives.

You let your feelings drive your thoughts, not realizing that thoughts drive actions, and actions produce results, and results in turn produce more feelings, causing a vicious circle which may ultimately lead to loss of self-control.

Feelings are not totally controllable, as many times feelings are produced by external circumstances beyond your control, and if negative feelings are allowed to drive your thoughts and actions, then undesirable results may emanate.

These undesirable results in turn produce further not-so-good feelings, and the vicious cycle continues.

This is true for any unpleasant or negative feelings, like anger, envy, worry, disgust or hatred, which tend to drive our thoughts and actions, and quickly take charge of our lives.

An analysis of other options indicates that both actions and results are not suitable alternative drivers since they also are not totally controllable and will not always be pleasing.

The best solution is to establish ‘thought’ as the driver is because it is controllable and we can get good results.

Yes, your thoughts are in your control because you can choose what to want to think about.

Moreover there is a matter of choice.

It is very much in our control to think good and interesting thoughts.

The happiest person is he or she who thinks the most interesting and good thoughts.

The human mind cannot totally prevent poor quality thoughts from arising, but it can choose whether or not to dwell on them.

The mind moves from dwelling on poor quality thoughts by selecting alternative beneficial or pleasant thoughts to focus on.

Choosing to be driven by thoughts and then controlling those thoughts allows the best possible results.

Positive thoughts lead to good performance (the right actions), which yields desirable results, which in turn produces good feelings.

Good feelings are conducive to better thoughts and progressively this positively re-enforcing cycle facilitates a high degree of self-control and an overall feeling of happiness.

When good thoughts are combined with good potential the results can be remarkable.

Thus, the very basis of self-control is refusing to allow our feelings to control our responses and dwelling instead on good, pleasant, joy-producing positive thoughts.

1. These are my personal views. Please use your own due diligence because they may or may not work for you.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

About Me

A creative person with a zest for
life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated
at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School
Pune, Vikram has published two books:COCKTAILa collection of fiction short stories about relationships
(2011) andAPPETITE FOR A STROLLa
book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel, writing short fiction and compiling his memoirs. An avid
blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative
non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, books, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories, self help and art of living essays in magazines and journals and published a number of professional research papers and reviews and edited in-house magazines and journals for many years, before the advent
of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to
creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse -
his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative
thoughts.