Chilling Tales

The city of London seems to be filled with haunted houses, but perhaps the most infamous of them all was number 50 Berkley Square, an address that all of London knew to stay out of… lest they face the nameless horror within.

Movie Reviews

Though I don’t like war movies, Dunkirk is an incredible example of the genre. It shows that heroes don’t necessarily wear uniforms and that bravery comes in all shapes. It shows that not everything ends happily with heroes skipping off into the sunset when war is involved and that heart is the greatest weapon a human can have.

It’s not remarkable and it’s not terrible, it’s in that nondescript gray area inbetween which, to me, is worse than being bad. Almost twenty years after it was shat into theaters, people still talk about how bad Batman and Robin was or how bad Lost in Space was, but at least they’re remembered. In twenty years, no one will remember Valerian short of an occasional airing on FXX or SyFy… it will be resigned to the obscurity of the forgotten which is a terrible fate for what should have been art.

Television Reviews

Daniel Salazar is alive and he’s probably a little pissed off that everyone left him at the Mexican mansion and just assumed he was dead. Well, you know what happens if you make an assumption, you make an ass out of you and umption because NO ONE makes an ass out of Daniel Goddamn Salazar! That’s right, Daniel Goddamn Salazar, the man who can walk out of a burning building and through the desert in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and through Mordor for good measure. You don’t mess with this guy. He will jack you up.