Right time for marriage

“Yes, it’s time to get married now” is not just a statement with some meaning. It is a statement that brings massive change in lives, especially in the lives of girls. The society has this stereotypical image of a girl’s life wherein the women should be married in her 20s, make kids in her 30s, serve the house, her family and her children in her 40s and the rest follow. These “steps in the girl-boy rule book” make the thought of getting married a nightmare to a number of girls.

The intentions with which this statement is made and can be made by are as follows:

Nagging relatives whom you’ve never met bringing in marriage proposals for their sons, brothers and even uncles, etc.

Other family members getting tensed about your increasing modernity and education.

Your younger sister wanting you to leave the house so that she can finally have the room to herself.

The society suddenly caring way too much for you and your growing age, your lifestyle and your views on living life single and happily.

Your partner which may or may not make you happy.

Your inner self.

So, how do you know whom to listen and when?

When it comes to marriage, hear everybody but listen to yourself. It is not the society or your relatives or your parents who are going to spend their lives with another person. It is YOU. Not all girls dream of a Prince charming in a white horse or a hero that fights off all villains only for you. Some girls want to be the superheroes of their own love stories, superheroes that are pampered from time to time. (like it or not, girls love all the pampering when it comes from a special person.) When you get your Prince charming or your love story which you’d love to be a superhero in, you’ll know it. Quietly whisper to yourself then, “yes, it’s time to get married.”

Marriage is a big decision:

Marriage brings in a huge and drastic change in your lifestyle, your environment and demands a similar change in your habits. Your priorities change, you have two families now, your job might want to be changed and you can’t go clubbing all night. (in most marriage situations). If it’s only you and your partner, kudos, you can live the same life you loved. (with minor changes). Factors like these make marriage a big decision, give people cold feet and make some of them regret it. And it breaks the heart and disrupts the mind to regret a decision as such. Marriages turn out to be successful with time, patience and honesty.

Marriage is a feeling:

It is not a necessity. It is not just a responsibility. It cannot be a compulsion. It is a feeling. Marriage is a feeling that gets induced in you with time. You cannot force it or fake it. For instance, over the years you might have realized that your bittersweet relationship with your partner is perfect and is something you always wanted. You might want to take this relationship to a whole new level and name it. That is when marriage comes out of feeling. And when this happens, all you feel is excitement.

On the other hand, you might have had multiple partners over the years but nobody managed to make it to the core of your heart. This made you realize that the best relationship you can ever have is to yourself. Here, marriage is not a feeling and should not be a necessity or a compulsion. When you still choose to marry, you might face hard times (MIGHT).

An ideal example is when you and your family are satisfied with your life now and when it can be understood that you are independent in all respects, marriage becomes a sweet compulsion. You may or may not be happy or satisfied with the marriage.

On the same page:

It feels good and positive when the wife and the husband are on the same page in a marriage. Love is necessary but equality is equally necessary. Respect is something that every woman seeks when she makes the statement, “yes, it’s time to get married.” This doesn’t mean that you have to let down your husband to get your part of respect. Equality means EQUALITY.

But, what about independence and freedom?

There is a thing about women who are in their 40s or 50s and are single and care zero about what the world has to say them. They live independently, free and wild and enjoy to their heart’s content. This doesn’t imply that married women do not enjoy or live freely.

There exist two categories of women. First, the ones who may or may not find joy in saying “yes, it’s time to get married” and second, the ones who simply do not choose to say “yes, it’s time to get married”. The latter category is absolutely normal and there is no crime in them declaring that they do not want to get married. No law says that a woman is bound to get married (except the girl-boy rulebook).

Consider only yourself when it comes to marriage. Say “yes, it’s time to get married” or let that sentence never come out of you. It is better if the former one comes out of joy and as a feeling.

Marriage is not a full – stop:

It is not. There can be commas or colons and even exclamation marks but no full stop. Do not try to put one. Also, let there be no question marks. Make sure you clear all the question marks beforehand.

Dearest girls, you do not have to freak out or gross-out when a topic pertaining to marriage pops in. Just like mentioned above, it is a feeling and when you do what you feel, you do it right and you enjoy it.

Also, it’s okay if you can never understand the science behind feeling this feeling. Be proud and brave enough to live the life you want to.

Lastly, to all girls, married or not, let that crown not slip.

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