Five Things I've Learned About Myself From Playing Fallout 4

Thursday, January 21, 2016

If you didn't already know, or have guessed it from my various social media accounts, I am a gamer.

In fact, I've learned a lot about myself by playing video games. Tiny little quirks that I wasn't aware of before I started. But these little tidbits highly amuse me when I think about them and so I felt the need to share them instead of reviewing the game.

(Which I loved by the way. I'm not ready to put this game down yet. Too busy running around dominating post-apocalyptic Boston. Plus I'm an achievement hunter, so I cannot stop playing until I get all the ones I can earn.)

Five things I’ve learned about myself from playing Fallout 4

01) I am a hoarder.

I mean I knew I was a book hoarder, let’s be real here, but apparently I will pick up any garbage I come across in post-apocalyptic Boston.

Is it really my fault that my power armor breaks a lot or my settlements are so needy? All my settlers do is whine about how unhappy they are and how they need more defense. Heaven forbid I miss an attack because my over-encumbered butt is straggling along trying to reach them, loaded down by all the junk they require.

What did they do before without me there to solve their every problem? How did they even survive to reach adulthood?

2) Come at my dog….and I will end you.

I will end your family. I will end your village. I will end your crazy uncle who runs around with a nuclear bomb strapped to his arm.

Attack one my more-than-capable-but-has-a-habit-of-disappearing-on-me humanoid/robotic companions, and I’ll yell at them for their stupidity.

But if my dog whines, it’s on….

3) Saying ‘yes’ is a bad thing

I may or may not have started every single quest that exists in this game.

There have been plenty of times where I’ve completed an objective and have had no clue what the quest was for or even who gave me the quest in the first place.

And there have been more than a few incidences of me spending game hours trekking off in one direction, only to realize I was following the wrong quest marker when I arrived at my destination. Oops.

4) I have a warped sense of humor

When you add that to the wonderful glitches Bethesda is known for, well you get a girl laughing for hours at her television.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve recorded game clips I’d found hysterical and showed them to my brother, only to have him literally roll his eyes at me.

My personal favorite was when I killed Wolfgang and his corpse did a back bend with his crotch sticking in the air. He is still there, outside the diner, like a bandit deterrent. Maybe he’s not as effective as a head on a stick, but I never fail to laugh when I see him there in his convoluted position.

5) You really shouldn’t ask me for directions (in video games)

I got lost within the first 10 minutes of the game.

All I had to do was follow the location marker down the hill to the town I’d already been to. Instead I end up getting attacked by a group of raiders and their mutts, with only my pathetic looted gun to defend me. Then I crossed a contaminated river and found a pregnant runaway’s corpse in a cabin before getting attacked by bugs. Twenty minutes later, I finally found Sanctuary.

Several days of playing later, I returned to the vault. Upon emerging once again, I made a slight turn the opposite direction…towards the scenic overlook of the town.

One of the things that I've learned about myself...is I'm terrible at planning character builds. I kept putting points into what I thought was lockpicking, but really it was pickpocketing (which is totally not my forte). I mean, in general, my character is currently built around stealth, but I end up playing more like a lumbering brute without the strength and endurance to back it up. Why do I do this to myself?

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