Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group

Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.

I can no longer hide

Losing so much weight so fast can be mentally challenging and tolling on our minds. I know that I have struggled big time with coping with the loss of my best friend 'food', and also with not seeing myself as the old fat Cheri. I was fat for most of my life and still see myself that way alot of times.

There are days I feel down in the dumps, days I want to cry, days I want to lay in bed and do nothing but eat and sleep. I think in alot of ways I have gotten mild depression since losing all the weight. I wish it wasn't like this. I never thought it would be. I should feel great emotinally and physically. I am hot now. I am healthy. But in all reality I want to scream and cry. It may sound crazy...but in some ways I want to self sabatoge because I am more comfortable hiding behind the fat and the person that I once was. Now, being thinner everyone can see me. I have less to hide behind the pain inside. I can no longer be the unnoticed one in the room. Now I am the center of attention (and rather than loving it, it scares me). I want to be able to hide and I no longer can....

Thanks for honestly sharing, Cheri. This isn't an easy transition. I still wear clothes that are way too big cuz I'm hiding too. I look forward to the day I feel really free from a fat mind. I still have a way to go as far as weight loss goes, but I'm not too worried about that cuz I know it'll happen. It even makes me uncomfortable that people notice that I've lost weight. &quot;Oh, you look so good!&quot; It makes me feel like I must've looked like crap before. But, if I'm honest with myself, I probably did. I feel like sabotaging myself too, but I'm not going to....I hope.
Thanks for being here with me.
Julia

Thanks for sharing this with us. I know that we all can relate with you 100%. We have all been experts at hiding in the background so that we wouldn't be seen. I always wished I had that cloak of invisibility from Harry Potter ya know? The biggest thing for me that I have problems with is when people yell to me &quot;Hey Skinny...you look great skinny&quot; Things like that. I am not skinny. I am smaller than I was, however I still have almost 70 lbs still to lose before I reach my goal so I cringe when I hear it. I tend to still want to where that cloak of invisibility because people are noticing me more now. Thanks for your honesty and you have come so far! Congratulations on your success!

Cheri, thank you for so honestly expressing how we must all face our demons eventually - those core issues that helped us get to the morbidly obese state we found ourselves in. Surgery changes us physically, but the mental change is up to us (with the support of friends, counselors, medication, faith, and whatever other healthy tools we have at our disposal). And as you express here - it's NOT an easy battle.

Know that we're with you, thinking about you, praying for you, and sending hugs your way!

Cheri, you are always so eloquent and well-spoken with your posts, and this one was no exception - it brought tears to my eyes.

I completely relate to your struggle and understand what you are saying 100%. I wish that we could see ourselves as others see us. I wish that you could see yourself as we see you. And I'm hoping that with time maybe we can all finally see a friend rather than an enemy when we look at ourselves in the mirror.

You are truly an inspiration, and I wish you so many more blessings as you continue on your journey.

I am THERE! But, I think a lot of my problem is WINTER!! I have seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.), depression and anxiety. I think that once spring finally gets here, we will all feel tons better. We are only human. Quitting smoking going on 20 years ago was easier than this maintaining the weightloss. It is so much harder than losing the weight. Isn't it. I beat myself up everyday because I put weight back on. My husband has joined the YMCA with me and after we have our daughter's wedding (a week from today) we are going to workout together. I am really excited. Hopefully it will help me get back on track. Cheer up. You look amazing.

Geez Cheri..I am so sorry you feel so bad :( You have been honest and are probably relating to a lot of people here. I haven't lost the majority of my weight yet so I don't know how I will feel when I do. I think this is a perfect example of what happens when we dont fix whats inside us. We can have as much surgery as we want but unless we do some &quot;house cleaning&quot; the same old fears come creeping back.

Remember, God doesn't give us what we can't handle. You have a great support system and you will pull through.

Cheri, I am so sorry that your feeling this way. I wish there was something I could say but since I have just had my surgery, I don't know what it feels like to lose so much weight. Just know that we are all here for you. God bless

I had such mixed feelings when reading this, I looked at your photos and you look FANTASTIC, I can see that you have come soooo far on your journey and I'm sure that the journey has not been all fun &amp; games. I am only 6 weeks out and I am just soo excited right now that I can't imagine being depressed after losing so much weight. But I can understand that maybe a lot of the feelings may have to do with working to keep from gaining that weight back, I know that is my BIGGEST fear. However, with all of your good and bad emotions, maybe talking to a Dr. will help you also, there could be a chemical imbalance that is also contributing to your moods. You lost a lot of weight in a short period of time and it could have knocked your chemicals all out of wack. That along with the day to day stress could be some of the problems. I'm not a Dr or a therapist but I really hate to see you feeling this way, because the way that we all see you is as a very beautiful person.
I wish you the best of luck.

Cheri - thank you so much for sharing. I am still a few months away from surgery but am already worried about this. I quit smoking over a year ago and now I'm going to have the surgery to save myself a lifetime of crippling back pain. But my mind keeps playing tricks on me, and I find myself wondering what I'm going to have left to hang on to when the fat is gone. It definitely keeps me &quot;safe&quot; even though it has been the bane of my existence since I was a child. I'm glad to have this group to see that I'm not alone and these feelings are normal. I am sure that we can all walk through the emotional trauma of major life changes one day at a time.

Hi Cheri, I am so inspired by you. I have been battling depression and anxiety my whole life. It got really bad after my first son was born with a heart defect and I started having traumatic panic attacks. I have since started taking an antidepressant (effexor) and it has really helped me in my ability to cope with things that are emotionally overwhelming. Maybe you could talk to your doctor and let him know that you feel emotionally overwhelmed and if you are open to trying medication it may really help you out like it did me. The hardest part was trying to get the guts to explain everything to a doctor, but they are there to help. I am so thankfull. I believe my weight issues were related to the fact I didn't want to take care of myself, after WLS you are forced into constant caring for yourself. Depression gets in the way of doing that, so seek some help, its ok.

Cheri, You are brave to be so honest and share your feelings with others. That says a lot about the good person that you are. Perhaps you should forget about the image of who you think you should be. You are working on your problems and that is the most that you can do. Good luck with your struggle and thank you for your post.
Bonnie

Cheri, I felt the same way. I still do. I definitely appreciate your honesty, because alot of what I heard before surgery was not complete honesty. I was depressed for at least the first month post op. I mourned the loss of food as my friend, and solace. I never thought I would feel that way. It was really bad! It still creeps up every now and then. I think that gb patients should have some type of counseling post op to deal with these issues. They are real. I look in the mirror and see the new me! HOT! LOL but there are other underlying issues that probably both you and I (and other post op patients) need to deal with. Counseling is probably the best option. I will keep you in my prayers. Pray for me too.

Cheri,
I feel for you...Depression sucks. I have had it for years.And can't live without my meds... But i do agree that your chemicals may be off due to the shock to your body.
Also, You have been through so much..You had surgery, lost a ton of weight, planned a wedding, got married...honeymooned...WOW. From what I can see is you have... &quot;Pos event let down&quot;. I get this when I am all reved up for the holiday's...or a major event and then its over...BAM...depression. I am definatly no doctor...but this happens to me...Its kinda like post pardom.. only its post WLS...
I would definatly talk to your doctor though
Gracie

From reading your posts I think you are an amazing person..... I actually feel like I know you. I was telling my husband about your amazing transformation and that I hope that I look as good as you at the end of my road. That said, you are a counselor, and you know that insecurity doesn't come from body image, it is mental and it stems from other issues. If talking it out isn't working and if you are wanting to cry all the time, sweetie, you know that it has to be biological not psychological. This process is a very long one both physically and mentally, and there should be more &quot;mental safeguards&quot; in place post op. Everytime I learn something new from another person on here, I am amazed that my doctor didn't tell me about it! This is YOUR life, and you are in control of your feelings. You are the only one who can decide how you feel, and if you aren't happy internally, it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, (even if it is AMAZING). If you ever need to talk I am here for you. I will keep you in my thoughts as you travel down this difficult road (I read the post about your father, and I am truly sorry for you!). Keep your chin up sweetie!

I truely understand. I feel that I had depression all along but feeding my pain kept it at bay and now I can't do that. I too felt invisable when I was fat unless I was being singled out and being picked on. People treat you differently when you loose weight. I go to a local convience store evryday for coffee and since looseing weight I have had my coffee paid for me and I have had strangers talk to me and hold the door open I just get treated very different. When I see my body naked I still see a fat person because of all my sagging skin. I understand and empathize with you. I am thinking about seeing a therapist to help work out these issues.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.