You probably heard it a million times. The phrase ‘just be yourself’ is a modern day cliche. Why then are there still so many unhappy people in the world? The fact is most people today are being moulded and compressed to meet the society’s expectation. Many are still chasing after what they think will make them happy, money, fame, accolades, success and the ideal body. It is not wrong to improve yourself or to achieve better results but the question lies with if your motive to you doing what you are currently doing is right.

People who are truly happy and satisfied with life finds their satisfaction and fulfillment from within. We as humans have a hole in our hearts that nothing in this world can fill except for the one who created this hole, God. You are never meant to go through life with only horizontal relationships without acknowledging God as your savior and to have a vertical relationship with Him.

You can have plenty of money and still be poor and unhappy. You can have the body most people would admire and still want a body somebody else have and still be unsatisfied. Don’t be on a constant treadmill of getting validation from people, the only validation you need and already have is to know how perfect you already are because you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. You are loved by God and He sees you perfect, blameless and righteous.

I dabbled into some dating materials written by dating experts on how to have a more successful dating life out of curiosity and honestly emptiness. The book taught me how the brain works and how i should take advantage of the chemistry behind the psychology of our human brains. When i use certain words and phrases it triggers a part of our brain called the reptilian brain, the point of saying these ‘magical lines’ is to cause a massive intrigue on my target. When that happens, they will do whatever it takes to satisfy that intrigue.

Sure it might work and make girls or guys go gaga over you, but wouldn’t i be trusting more in human efforts and human wisdom and understanding more than the favor of God. The fact that i am God’s beloved and highly favored means i already have that x factor about me, i naturally already am attractive, believing otherwise would mean i am not counting on God’s favor and thus putting myself at a disadvantage to other guys.

My experience with experimenting on the dating advice was really uncomfortable, instead of putting me in a position of control or power as it claims, on the contrary, it makes me feel more insecure about who i am. I start to question my own attractiveness and my worth. There was nothing wrong with me to begin with, i didn’t need people to do what i want and control their reactions, a successful dating life doesn’t mean more women or men in your life, it means that your date would eventually end up as your life partner. As for me, if a life partner wasn’t what i was looking for, why waste my time on dating?

I don’t want wasted years on being a master at dating. I want a family. As far as i am concern, 5 years from now, i want to have a family, not be a professional player having plenty of women but never settling down. God is going to bring the right girl to me and He knows the most suitable and eligible candidates out there, i rather trust in Him. There’s only one me. I don’t need whoever i go out on a date with to like me. I don’t need a secret formula, i just need to have that success with just that one girl i eventually would marry.

The book’s selling point is that you can make any man or women fall in love with you by using a secret trick. It thrives on the fact that customers would love to be an object of desire, to be chased by your dream guy or girl, to be someone people get hooked to like drugs. So the question is does all that makes me truly happy? I will again be looking for things on the outside to validate me.

When in fact i should turn to God who truly satisfies me and accepts me, in fact, i already am the object of desire by the perfect man. His name is Jesus. I am complete and He loves me just the way i am. The more i know that the more the real me can shine, the more what is authentic and what is uniquely beautiful about me i can give to this world and the more lives i will touch. God’s way are simple, but don’t let the simplicity fool you, His ways are the best.