The Dungeon Dozen

Monday, February 5, 2018

It's an old school Underworld setting and adventure location in the form of a 108 pg PDF, souped up with hyperlinks (including a fully clickable map), jammed to the gills with bizarre denizens, weird situations, random occurrences, and several Underworld godlings and their unsavory flocks. Game stats are for Swords & Wizardry, but for heaven's sake, its so adaptable to the OSR-type game of your preference as to be almost effortless!

Mighty Jez Gordon did the handsome layout and crafted the two-page Underworld map (see a slice of it below).

Perhaps you are so old school as to eschew the electronic books: a print edition will become available as soon as we get and approve a print proof (be assured I will mention this here on the blog).

This is just a small sample.

It's also loaded with art by myself, Stefan Poag, Chris Brandt, John Larrey, and Karl Stjernberg.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

d12
1. Constabulary of the Lord: clerics of state religion use detection magic, blunt instruments to maintain adherence to byzantine regulations, raid establishments offering forbidden bills of fare, come through windows at night to enforce sexual mores, it's horrible
2. Law enforcement province of single noble family, once-honorable lineage degraded into rabble of hoodlums, corruption/graft old and deep, arrest aristocrats in showy fashion from time to time just to send a message
3.Biggest jerks in town spend months training for annual brawl to determine who wears the badge of station, losers form posse, arbitrary justice-by-mob, beat-downs/summary executions issued as mood takes them
4. Trial by Democracy: all citizens authorized to make arrests, do so enthusiastically, entire population must participate in grueling schedule of rigidly timed weekly trials in Colosseum of Law, no one eats until docket is cleared
5. Money changers/lenders hire private armies, everybody else hires bodyguards, disputes settled by proxy fights or at gaming tables
6. Masked crime-fighter w/incredible fighting skills/selection of magic items patrols rooftops, frequently silhouetted against moon, empowered to enforce quirky personal interpretation of law
7. Children on patrol: according to city constitution, only those who haven't yet reached their majority may adjudicate disputes, operate outside of law
8. Hired monsters from nearby dungeon environment patrol streets, ensure close to 100% compliance with curfew, otherwise its a free-for-all, city council has appointed special commission to look at alternatives
9. Seer-detectives levitate in lotus position, monitor events w/clairvoyance, dispatch troops as needed from central Dome of Contemplation (the one with the giant rotating eyeball on top)
10. Highly trained justice hounds sniff out wrong-doing unerringly, bay at criminals in their lairs like treed raccoons, handler goons do the rest
11. Ancient sage hobbles around adjudicating disputes Hammurabi-like, citizens heed unquestioningly all wisdom dispensed even when completely bizarre
12. Tribunal of Idiots: cultural quirk passed down from time immemorial that everyone just accepts, tries cases by instinct alone, non-evidential hearings involve much staring into eyes to know intent, idiotic utterances interpreted by highly influential class of fool-augurs

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

d12
1. Ears aren't always pointy, but tend toward the unusual
2. Friendships and social circles lack diversity, also: tight pants
3. They smell like candy
4. Statements in conversation often twice as long as they need to be, loaded with crafty yet totally unnecessary poetic flourishes
5. You get the feeling they keep forgetting your name on purpose
6. Sometimes they're really good at archery, but they're always really good at something
7. Always orders off-menu, never picks up the tab, noticeably tipsy after first round but never gets drunker
8. A certain indefinable snootiness about their manner plus really bad avant garde hairstyles
9. Frequently laughing, big and boisterous, but never tell or seem to get jokes
10. A weird combination of physical beauty and total unsexiness
11. Never freak out no matter how much you provoke them
12. They see right through your bullshit

3. Afterlife cancelled, souls of the faithful to be kept in cosmic cold storage unit until required for next universe

4. After due consideration, human face deemed vulgar, cleric must hand-craft a mask for complete, permanent concealment of features modeled after grotesque visage of deity

5. Corruption of clergy by wizard magic (including enchanted items) now forbidden, same goes for priestly magic cast by other faiths, only church-sanctioned proprietary protection from evil, etc may be enjoyed

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Similar to the traditional glyph of warding (if arguably much more irresponsible), the glyph of monsters spell was discovered on a prehuman stele by the late sorcerer Galgolus of Ixmere and subsequently transcribed by his sole surviving apprentice (who had been out sick that day).

So You Became a Monster...
d6
1. Mouth transmutes into that of great white shark, eyes become lifeless, like a doll's eyes, singular urge: bite everyone to death
2. Outer husk splits, sloughs off, human-shaped jelly of remarkable speed leaps upon nearest living target for suffocation/digestion, caustic bile spews from mouth hole in constant fountain
3. Grow to 17' tall, commensurate strength, involuntary huge beaming/crazy smile, emit nonstop terrible giggling, pick up those nearby, chew on heads
4. Skin becomes nearly impervious blue chitin, tongue grows into spring-loaded spear supplied w/ lethal venom by huge unsightly glands in neck
5. Nervous system leaps from body (which crumples into lifeless heap), dances around wildly, delivers potent dose of electricity on contact, able to extend self indefinitely in many directions at once
6. Muscles instantly swell to absurd proportions, head shrinks down to tiny nub, beats the hell out of all and sundry while screaming threats/obscenities in high pitched version of original voice

Notes: In each case the former PC viciously attacks all within range, monstrous condition permanent until reversed by a successful dispel magic

Friday, June 23, 2017

By policy, the Emperor Lich spews forth falsehoods at every opportunity

d12
1. The emperor's policy quadrupling anti-monster spending the only thing that keeps borderlands from falling to the forces of chaos (f)
2. The jolly wizard's tower under construction just beyond the end of the ancient road is a good place to shelter on your way to the dungeon (f)
3. Local adventuring gear purveyor carries items of word-class craftsmanship, prices considered competitive empire-wide (f)
4. Iron rations deemed excellent for long term consumption by Imperial Ministry of Comestibles (f)
5. Local sword smith is so damn good even his most humble wares equivalent to magic weapons, each tested on genuine, semi-impervious demon skin (f)
6. Don't be fooled by dungeon sorcerer: he's always shirtless, sometimes pantsless, overdeveloped thews lumpy & veiny, crisscrossed with scars, misty with sweat, square-cut black mane, carries a two-handed sword that is actually a wand (f)
7. The bandit lord is a fiercely independent free spirit and friend to the common man, not at all in the thrall of obscure Underworld godling (f)
8. The old gods are stone dead now, their temples to be raised, church coffers forfeit, thanks to heroic intervention by new official state deity (f)
9. All the seers, mystics, shamans, priests, soothsayers, mediums, psychics had the same dream last night: terrifying visions of nightmare future society shared by human, elf, orc, halfling, goblin, giant, dragon and dwarf in peace and equality (f)
10. Huge shipment of potions from overseas alchemists consortium due any day now on under-protected ship travelling incognito (f)
11. Subterranean humanoid psychics tampered with local adventurers' guild elections, newly installed puppet guild overlord immediately tightens rules and regulations governing Underworld Exploration License-holders (f)
12. The nearby dungeon is ideally suited for fledgling adventurers just setting out to make their fortunes (f)

Saturday, June 17, 2017

"If we ever hope to destroy our enemies utterly, we mustunite as a people. The ban on political assassinations, though unpopular in certain quarters, can only help in our progress towards a more civil discourse in city-state government"- Supreme Overlord Kurobulon II

d12
1. Exchange student program with Science Fungoids off to difficult start, Cathedral of Inquiry quarantined after explosive fungal bloom, intelligentsia 90% wiped out, sudden vacuum in academia creates opportunity for sophists, charlatans, crackpots
2. Rich vampires in town with load of treasure for an unknown purpose, lodging with aristocrats, heavy security presence, surface human trafficking assures populace of relative safety from random attack
3. Contact lost with sister city near the Reverse Waterfall, under siege by blind antler men offended by some unknown transgression, sages, interpreters struggle to figure out what the hell is going on
4. New status symbol: re-educated stone boys on sale for exorbitant fees from sorcerer's firm, so far they remain cheerful and obedient, crafts guild cannot keep up with fancy palanquin orders, moribund anthracite coal (stone boy chow) market spikes
5. Lava festival at public Flow Park in full swing despite unexplained boom in fire lizard population, safety assured by city government, attendance encouraged, freelance explorers needed to probe dormant tubes
6. Dignitaries in town representing The Other Subterranean Humanoids pretend to bargain in good faith, peace process facilitated by impartial interlocutors chosen from popular chaos cults with vested interest in ongoing conflict
7. Franchise temple of the Mindless God sacked by adventurer scum from the surface world, all passes revoked, visiting surface folk detained for interrogation, travel ban enacted, citizens advised to submit to mental probe on demand from cult officials
8. Newly tamed giant pill bugs comprise city waste management program, rumor has it rogue bugs tunneled throughout city (breaching private residences, vaults, tombs), uptick in missing humanoid cases
9. City-wide megadance scheduled for next week, streets/neighborhoods organize routine with one another, rehearsals underway at all hours, Supreme Overlord to observe entire population in synchronized action from vantage point atop winged platform, foreigners in town encouraged to participate, but must shell out gold on ludicrous outfits
10. Food trend sweeps city from the upper class on down: rare cave mollusks imported from Steam Vents, served on the half-shell, mild hallucinogenic properties provoke unwanted enlightenment in soldier classes, government cracks down but many rich folks are already addicted
11. Burning of the dead once again mandatory after swarm of undead emerged from popular bottomless pit burial site, new taxes levied to finance ambitious pit cap project
12. Time-honored practice of political assassination outlawed following ascension of charismatic sorcerer to Supreme Overlord station, rival assassins guilds unite in protest, threaten to assassinate indiscriminately until tradition restored, bureaucrats bemoan this softening of the culture while laying off food tasters, doubles, anti-assassination specialists

Monday, June 12, 2017

The subterranean humanoids, burned by generations of rule by an increasingly insane super-rich aristocracy, decide to give democracy a whirl.

Supreme Overlord Election Results
d12
1. The most physically attractive candidate wins by keeping mouth shut, relying on pure sex appeal
2. Witch with strong maternal instincts convinces populace of need for guidance from an authority beyond the petty concerns of clan and faction, proposes defense updates including impenetrable dome of darkness, will bolster fecundity with new emphasis on loosening sexual mores, swinging bacchanals
3. Huge lump of alien fungus capable of speech and convincing mimicry of intelligence, bio-logarithms generate semi-impenetrable yet competent-sounding pronouncements, responses, voters approve of extreme outsider status
4. The General runs on a platform of prejudice, hostility, aggression, greed, immediate war with neighbors to bolster short term economic concerns, will put languid, decadent population back to work or on the march
5. Wizard from the surface world offers favorable trade agreement with human empires, import novel goods, foodstuffs, slaves, favorable export deal for Underspirits, wicked Underworld arms, highly addictive , ultimately lethal smokable fungi crop
6. Blowhard with 18 Charisma runs on pure bullshit, intimidation, rages against false intellectual tyranny of the smarty-pants class, knows how to handle aristocrats, private army: ostensibly bodyguards but straight up goons poised for Night of the Long Knives-style action
7. High priest of the Worm Sultan makes a hell of an impression with live endorsement appearance by the godling itself
8. The Master Inquisitor of Nul the Mindless God sways the vote with demonstrations of the blessings of mindlessness, economic boon of massive construction contracts paid for entirely by cult monies (fabulous temple to be installed in center of subterranean city following demolition of temples to rival gods)
9. Zealot of obscure godling of the downtrodden fans flames of class resentment, within hours of election mass decapitation of the rich begins, very loosely organized redistribution of wealth follows
10. Traditionalist candidate promises a return to hard-ass asceticism/ultra-violence of the good old days, "a cuirass and sword for every child", each morning begun by marching up and down the square
11. Familiar old aristocrat wins by a landslide of "better the devil we know" sentiment
12. Roll twice more: popular vote goes to first result, electoral college goes to second, both sides immediately activate assassins and attempt simultaneous purge

The Opposition Reacts
d6
1-2. Multiple assassins activated to be followed by bloody purge
2. Factions left out in the cold engineer immediate civil disobedience to be followed by bloody rioting
3. Public smear campaign, dirt dredged up (or made up) and spilled all over the public square, legal case made for impeachment
5. Temporary shocked paralysis, impotent hand-wringing
6. Consumed by in-fighting, recriminations, murderous self-destruction inevitable

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Once a dragon gets an idea in its head, the notion will see fruition even if it takes a thousand years.
Even if it has to seek out and employ wretched human adventurers.

d12
1. Got a sudden taste for pork and its going to take a lot, like all of it in the realm delivered quickly no matter the cost, when sated see subtable below
2. Needs a change of pace from all the hoarding, looking to hire temporary treasure guardians (subject to extreme vetting by freelance sorcerers), will depart to unexplored territories with human cartographers, scribes, away team housed in dragon-portable trailer
3. Not in it for the money anymore: ego-stroking and fawning veneration, that's what really matters, seeks silver-tongued devils for several full time positions
4. Would feel much better knowing world-famous Anti-dragon Relic, heirloom of royal family, was safely locked away or better yet tossed into a volcano
5. Wants a gigantic castle designed with dragon accessibility in mind for once and a fabulous view, close to urban center, never mind the cost, that's what giant piles of gold are for
6. Lusts after fashion-forward cape and bejeweled harness by the hippest designer in the big city
7. After severe withering following conflict with now-deceased magic-user, must have prosthetic forefoot, preferably mecha, of the finest craftsmanship and up to rigorous aesthetic standard, already hoarding raw materials
8. Fascinated by dolphins as romanticized by visiting sage, envisions forging bonds of brotherhood in common fight against wretched humans, must book temporary lodgings seaside (by proxy)
9. Hoard overload must be reduced if it is going to fit into the fashionable new off-grid tiny lair, will trade gold for gems, low-end magical trinkets & large collection of weird taxidermy for sale
10. In order to traverse the cold vacuum of space, a little-known draconic biological imperative that only afflicts the truly ancient, requires carefully designed space helmet or custom ensorcellment to that effect
11. Needs something to break out of lingering miserable mood, that thing is a heroic dose of sea serpent venom which dragons metabolize like alcohol
12. Yearns for restoration of lost youth, assembling interdisciplinary team, needs ancient stela from lost city, pages from volume in the Forbidden Library, rare ingredients available only deep beneath the Mountains of Mourning, liquefied lich or vampire

The Dragon's Next Craving
d6
1. The stinkiest cheeses in the land
2. Steak and kidney pie, writ large
3. BBQ potentates, like so many chicken wings
4. Pickled dudes
5. Sweagledactyl (like turducken, but swan/eagle/pterosaur)
6. Back to straight up virgins

Thursday, June 8, 2017

d12
1. An artsy bunch: when not engaged in standard mayhem they stay busy crafting hideous decorative objects in all media from any available materials, some produce skillful depictions of skulls, implements of war, terrifying monsters that clutter every wall and horizontal surface, others extemporize hateful lyrics to relentlessly unpleasant newly improvised tunes
2. Practice daily ritual bath in vat filled with tiny filth-eating insects, renders humanoids fresh and clean, feels funky
3. Money composed of gold caltrops, silver axe heads, copper projectile points, IOUs written in blood, secured by suicide pledge
4. By ancient treaty, each city ruled by council of elders from neighboring city that hates their guts
5. When indebted, they say thank you by murdering someone you hate
6. Coming of age ritual involves getting lost in the wilderness for 1d6+2 years, if caught before this time elapses: summary execution
7. Potentate recently ordered use of perishable Underfruit as legal tender to bolster short term spending
8. Excellent, highly productive builders but saddled with aesthetic sensibilities of honeybees, its all endless stacks of hexagonal cells
9. It takes a village to ensure that all the children are properly pre-traumatized to prepare for hardass martial lifestyle
10. Casual eugenics program starting to pay off, population down but healthy, muscular, just-brainy-enough, and thirsty for conquest
11. Just short of death sentence: conscription into Literary Corps, forced to learn to read for lifetime of hellish scholarship
12. Mores hammer home the point: life sucks, death will be awesome, but no one is allowed to die until they perform 12 services to the state

Monday, November 7, 2016

We've added several intriguing stretch goals into the mix, most notably for readers of this blog a special art-free preview edition of The Dungeon Dozen 2, a collection of all the tables published here since the release of the first book (just under 200 tables).