Saturday, August 9, 2014

The (almost) perfect marriage.

So I was once accused of over compensating in my marriage; trying to make others think it's better than it actually is. For myself, if for no one else, I need to set the record straight. I love my marriage. Trevor and I have worked hard on our marriage from day 1. We put each other first, we don't criticize unless it's constructive and in private, and we don't belittle each other or try to make the other feel bad. We look forward to the time we get to spend together, always. We have a strong, wonderful marriage because we work at it. Just because I don't share with others or here on my blog, the hard parts or our disagreements, doesn't mean I sugar coat it and try to make it seem perfect. I simply love to share happiness both on my blog and in conversations.
We're seeing a counselor right now and the other night he reminded us that we may not have a perfect marriage but we are perfect for each other. So true.
HOWEVER (and this is kind of funny), the other night Trevor was saying his personal prayer and it was taking forever. I was able to wash my face, say my own personal prayer, take some pills, and feed Carl all while he was still praying. I knew Trevor had fallen asleep on his knees, by the bed, for the umpteenth time. After I had nudged him awake for the fifth time, he finished/woke up. I said in my most sarcastic voice "so...what are you praying for, the whole world?" Maybe that's nothing to you but it was a really snarky thing for me to say. We did the rest of our nightly stuff and I thought nothing about it. But the next day he reminded me of what I had said and we had a really good laugh. Well, I had a good laugh! Seriously though, since the accident, I have some weird moods....and do and say thingsthat are slightlyout of the ordinary for me.
I'm not sure why I felt it important to share this little essay on marriage. Maybe it's for my kids to read in twenty years, or maybe next month I'll need this reminder...who knows. But I do know who I love and how much I love him.

2 comments:

I can tell you this much. Adam and I very much look up to you and Trevor, your marriage, and the way you are raising your family. Adam and I always like to remind each other "we aren't perfect, but we are working towards perfection together." Working towards perfection takes a lot of work but work that is worthwhile! Its a lifelong journey and its the best lifelong journey I could ever ask for! Thank you for being such a wonderful example of what marriage truly is about!

Old Stuff

quote

"If every husband and every wife would constantly do whatever might be possible to ensure the comfort and happiness of his or her companion, there would be very little, if any divorce. Argument would never be heard. Accusations would never be leveled. Angry explosions would not occur. Rather, love and concern would replace abuse and meanness."