It’s Super Bowl week, which means Bodog has unleashed their annual cavalcade of ridiculous prop bets. There’s something here for everyone, up to and including people with a passing interest in the game itself. Let’s take a look at some of this year’s more enticing offers.

• Team to miss the first field goal in the game.

Saints EvenColts -130

The last time Matt Stover saw The Who in concert Keith Moon was playing drums.

• What color top will Kim Kardashian be wearing at the Super Bowl?
(Wager is on color of top and not on jacket if seperate [SIC] top and jacket are shown. If two or more options are combined as the primary color on top then all wagers are no action.)

Black 5/6
White 5/2
Other Color 13/10

Pretty disappointing that Bodog won’t even consider the possibility of Kardashian showing up topless. Surely that would be good for a few throwaway bets. As it stands now, I am of the John Cutter school of thought.

• How Many Times will CBS announcers fully mention Hurricane Katrina during the game?

Over 2.5 -140Under 2.5 +110

I’m banking on them referring to it simply as “Katrina.” Or possibly “The Great Cleanse of ’05,” but only if Jim Nantz gets really drunk. .

• How Many Times will CBS show Archie Manning on TV during the Game?

Over 4 -155
Under 4 +125

This line opened at 2.5, a mark that could best be described as adorably naive. It will probably inch towards five before kickoff.

• How many times will Pete Townshend do his legendary windmill move?
(Windmill move must be a full 360 degree revolution and be shown on TV to be counted for this wager.)

Over 5.5 -170
Under 5.5 +140

If every 360 degree revolution counts as an individual windmill then I figure we’re good for at least seven. Unless Pete tears his rotator cuff. Incidentally, the odds on that are set at 15/1.

• If any member of the Who smashes their guitar what does the guitar hit first?

Floor 2/7
Speaker 13/4
Microphone 4/1
Drummer 200/1Fan 200/1

See NFL, just because a band is old doesn’t mean they can’t cause serious trouble. Next year you’ll have to try a lot harder to come up with a halftime show that is truly safe from any and all controversy.

Which brings me to a prop bet of my own…

Imma let you finish, but Up With People had one of the best halftime shows of all time. OF ALL TIME!

• Who will host the halftime show at Super Bowl XLV

Taylor Swift -250
Black Eyed Peas +105
Other +1000

And of course this leads us down the road to more speculative prop bets…

Join The Discussion

What are the odds for another “wardrobe malfunction”? I have a feeling “Lil Rog” will show up.

02.01.10 at 2:48 pm

Windy City Sulker

Take the over on Townshend’s windmills – I’ve seen them twice in the past few years, he windmills almost non-stop. His hearing is so fucked his brother Simon plays most of the real guitar in the songs.

02.01.10 at 2:52 pm

Make Some NOSIE!

Is anyone else imagining Taylor Swift on her knees, without the Grammy for that photo?

They’ll cut to Archie Manning certainly after every passing touchdown probably after every lead change and certainly if Peyton is sacked, if not every big play. If he doesn’t appear on screen a dozen times before halftime, I’ll be shocked.

Can we get an O/U on number of times Favre is mentioned?

02.01.10 at 2:58 pm

Upstate Underdog

How Many Times will CBS announcers fully mention Hurricane Katrina during the game?

Over 2.5 -140
Under 2.5 +110

Bet the over.

Also, if the Black Eye Peas ever host the halftime Super Bowl show I hope the movie Black Sunday becomes a reality except with the blimp blowing up over the stadium.

02.01.10 at 3:02 pm

GhostsoftheUpcountry

I’ll say it…I think Taylor Swift has a face that would stop a clock. She looks like she’s been smacked cross-eyed. Neck down, we’ll talk; but doggy only.

02.01.10 at 3:04 pm

Monkey Business

Can we get a line on the NFL setting up a live Archie-cam and have it going in the corner of the screen? Let’s be honest; the NFL is definitely considering it.

02.01.10 at 3:17 pm

Gino Tourettsa

What’s the o/u for mentions of “the unique relationship the Saints and their fans have with city of New Orleans”?

02.01.10 at 3:18 pm

GhostsoftheUpcountry

@MB-
Better chance of there being a Cooper-Cam.

02.01.10 at 3:22 pm

TurleyGirlie

Look, I’m from New Orleans and even I’m getting tired of the Katrina and how much we love our team, even though they suck. Every game has to have it’s storyline, though…

/Jeebus, I’m excited. Possible tickets to and transportation to and from the Super Bowl are being discussed with my boss…AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!

02.01.10 at 3:22 pm

2010 Draft: "Cutlerfucker, meet McClusterfucker"

Is Caruso putting on a pair of shades OVER his other pair of shades?

02.01.10 at 3:23 pm

Dr. Steve Brule

I agree with Ghosts completely on her face. Her mom must’ve fucked a hammerhead shark, because that’s the only way her eyes could be that far apart.

02.01.10 at 3:23 pm

Charlie Sweatpants

A sufficiently crafty and well placed CBS employee could made a killing on some of these. Can I wager on what quarter that helmet rash will appear on Peyton’s forehead?

02.01.10 at 3:27 pm

twoeightnine

If KK was really smart (I know, I know) she’d place a shitload of money on white and wear a white shirt. Of course this being KK she’d do that and then wear a green shirt.

02.01.10 at 3:36 pm

Animal Mother

The best prop bet will be how much time left in regulation before Eli breaks out a sniper rifle and attempts to pick off Pey-Peys melon after hearing non-stop:

Peyton is so awesome!
Eli, take off that Saints jersey, you father didn’t wear #9!
Peyton is the greatest QB in NFL history!
Eli, why can’t you be more like Peyton!
Archie tell the story again of how Eli was unplanned!
Eli stop throwing your sippy cup, sit up straight and stop pouting, your brother Peyton is playing in ANOTHER Super Bowl!

02.01.10 at 3:39 pm

Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson

How about the odds on Pete Townsend or Roger Daltry breaking a hip? Or making it through the set without having to drink some more Ensure?

Seriously, fuck you boomers. The Who were washed up thirty years ago.

(sadly, they’ll still put on a better show than pretty much any other “artist” or “band” out there today. Our other option is seeing a Nickleback halftime show, so….)

02.01.10 at 3:40 pm

Gob Bluth's Awkward Segway

Best Super Bowl commercial:

Go Daddy +17,000,000,000

Just when the threat of Danica Patrick stripping subsides enough to let me sleep at night, here comes the 2010 version. Fuck.

02.01.10 at 3:42 pm

Biggus Rickus

Oh good, a couple of that-pretty-girl-isn’t-actually-pretty comments.

02.01.10 at 3:44 pm

Sweet Lou

Over/under on any mention of Favre:
5 times

Tebow:
3 times

02.01.10 at 3:47 pm

Upstate Underdog

Who can ever forget the 1997 halftime show featuring The Blues Brothers Bash with Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman and Jim Belushi as The Blues Bros. and ZZ Top and James Brown. Yes, this actually happened.

02.01.10 at 3:50 pm

Fat Polamalu is my idol

“Our other option is seeing a Nickleback halftime show, so….)”

Don’t you threaten me!

02.01.10 at 4:02 pm

WendellX

I think your reasoning is flawed on the Katrina wager. They can’t call it just Katrina because nothing in the National Football League may be abbreviated. You may still win the bet, however, if the broadcasters refer to Hurricane Katarina or Hurricane Corina often enough.

02.01.10 at 4:03 pm

Dr. Taint

That photo must be at a strange angle because Kim Kardashian’s hand reminds me of Chris Elliot in Scary Movie 2.

02.01.10 at 4:13 pm

jackin'4beats

Over/Under on the “How I Met Your Mother” commercials?

I’d safely say that there will be at least 7 of these commercials as well as 7-8 CSI, Mentalist, blahblah, bullshit shows that middle America likes.

They ain’t The Who of ’68-’75, but I saw Roger, Pete et al fairly recently (10/26/08) in Philly. My sons, ages 15 & 17, went with me & thought they were excellent as well. I don’t think these old geezers wil embarass themselves with this show. If its not going well, I wouldn’t put it past Townshend to say “Fuck It” & walk off stage (they’ve done it before). I’d consider odds on Daltrey slipping in a “Who the fuck are you” during the show. I saw (& met) a solo Daltrey in AC 11/09 & he still a bit of a hell-raiser. They’re in their 60’s but still have an element of danger about them.

Oh c’mon Ghost and Doc, you two would pee your pants if a pretty girl like her even looked at you.

02.01.10 at 5:19 pm

jackin'4beats

I also want us all to appreciate the perfect curvature that is the ass of Kim Kardashian. I know she’s a no-talent trick, but she’s got a body that could stop traffic ala Salma Hayek in Desperado. And for that…we should all take a moment to reflect and appreciate the ass.

Thank you.

02.01.10 at 5:28 pm

Peter King's Latte

Can we get back to making fun of the fat humps? They are so cute when they get riled up.

SB Half-Time Show Lock:
I’ll drunkenly make overdose jokes about Keith Moon and John Entwistle, then sex offender jokes about Pete Townshend. Few will get them and those who do will think I’m an asshole. And you can take that to the bank.

02.01.10 at 5:53 pm

Biggus Rickus

@Ghosts,

Hey, if you want to read like the Jason Alexander character from “Shallow Hal,” have a ball.

02.01.10 at 6:01 pm

Charlie Sweatpants

@ Peter King’s Latte

Absolutely. One of the claims to fame of Indianapolis is that something like seven interstates converge in it. It’s the most in the country and I’ve actually heard people cite this as a point of pride. I-70 goes for like 2,000 miles through about a dozen states, you don’t see anyone else bragging about it.

Indiana: Crossroads of America because six ways to get out wasn’t enough.

02.01.10 at 6:23 pm

Peter King's Latte

@ Charlie

What’s the deal with the shrimp cocktail bet? Sending some shrimp to New Orleans? Really? Oh wait, the sauce is spicy? Right behind seafood, I’d say say New Orleans has spicy pretty well covered. I’d love to hear Ray Nagin’s response to this wager.

Ray Nagin: So let me get this straight, you’re sending me spicy shrimp cocktail if we win? Ok, I’ll send you our chain restaurants and our white people if you win.

02.01.10 at 6:41 pm

GhostsoftheUpcountry

@Biggus-
Dude, I just said I found her to be unattractive. I didn’t wish her dead or say she couldn’t sing. Relax.

And, LaFavre’s, my wife is 100 times hotter than Taylor Swift…and no she doesn’t read KSK.

02.01.10 at 7:03 pm

Seventy-Five

@ Peter King’s Latte-

Are you sure he didn’t say that?

02.01.10 at 7:22 pm

Bacon and cheez whiz

Over/under on hurricanes consumed by Tom Benson during the first half: 6.5

02.01.10 at 7:27 pm

LaFarve's Next Drink

Ghost – I think your wife is hot too. In fact, that’s just what I told her at breakfast last week.

02.01.10 at 7:46 pm

Dr. Steve Brule

Wow, miss a little, miss a lot.

02.01.10 at 7:51 pm

Dr. Steve Brule

And for the record LaFavre, I have no standards. I merely have preferences.

02.01.10 at 8:32 pm

Drave

All I really want is more pics of the New Orleans sideboob chick. Can she please, PLEASE attend the SUper Bowl?

02.01.10 at 8:32 pm

Peter King's Latte

@ 75

I wouldn’t put it past C. Ray saying something like that. Hell that’s winning for losing right there in his book. Of course he wouldn’t send the white women unless Ballard upped the ante.

Of course the reply would not shockingly go like this:

Ballard: Well I see your white people and chain restaurants and raise you one meal from our favorite non-chain establishment, Yats.

I remember listening to the Who’s supposed last concert when I was in high school. In 1982.

02.01.10 at 9:58 pm

Ed Reed's Orphan Glove

“people of earth we bring you rock n’ roll”

02.01.10 at 11:05 pm

dudebro

After clicking on that Yats link, I now know that there is a Massachusetts Avenue in Indianapolis. That makes three Massachusetts Avenues in the US. One is in Boston and another is in DC, both of which obviously make a lot more sense than Indy. Even their street names are unoriginal.

02.01.10 at 11:41 pm

StuScottBooyahs

Tired memes

You take that back

02.02.10 at 1:46 pm

NavyChief04

What’s the over/under for halftime on-field trampling?

\Cincinnati’d

02.03.10 at 3:06 am

David R.

I’m imagining it.

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