The Grass Is Always Greener feat. Ego

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You know the saying 'the grass is always greener'? It's something that I think applies to my life a hell of a lot. I'm constantly comparing myself to others, whether I'm comparing looks, lifestyle, aspirations, blog layouts, haircuts, everything; it's just something I can't seem to help but do. But Why? Why am I never satisfied?

It's not just me either; I feel like this is something we all seem to deal with. It's like no one is ever going to feel fulfilled with their own lives. Maybe it's because we live in a era of mass media and well, a hell of a lot of pressure, but maybe we all need to start thinking differently.

Especially since I'm young, it's hard not to conform to the standards and pressures that the world wants to set on us, but there's a side of me that often just screams 'I don't care!' and I kind of really like that side.

For years and years all I cared was about what other people thought of me or whether I could match everyone else's standards, and now I just think, so what if i don't?So what if they don't like me? LIFE GOES ON. And, I'm a huge believer in everything working itself out. I mean, right now in comparison to most people my age, my life isn't your average set up. How many 18 year olds do you know that have sacked in education all together to fulfill a dream of blogging and modelling? Not many! Well, I don't anyway haha.
I never really was a huge risk taker before this, but let me tell you, it's the scariest thing I've ever decided to do. Whilst it all might seem oh so fabulous and glam to just stand in front of camera posing for shoots and blog pics all the time, there are so so so many down sides to taking such a huge risk: Number one being, I don't have any A-levels or I won't be doing a degree, which are kind of vital when it comes to jobs and all that jazz. That leaves me in a slightly scary position. What if in the future I can't get a job because of my lack of qualifications? What if experience isn't enough? What will I do? Well, I really don't know. Number two is people judge me A LOT. The amount of times I get asked 'So are you studying then?' and I tell them what I do and they say 'Oh, that's nice for you isn't it?' in a sarcastic patronizing tone, honestly drives me mad. People have no idea how much hard work it all takes (it's a lot by the way) And then, number three is that no matter how well things seem to be going for me, I will always be comparing myself to other people who aren't doing the things I'm doing or are doing what you could call 'the norm'. Yep, it can definitely be difficult.

I wish the part of me that is much more free-spirited, and doesn't care as much, could stick around 24/7, but unfortunately that doesn't happen. I seem to go through phases of 'Wow, look at me doing my own thing, making a success of myself' to phases of 'Wow, I've completely fucked my life up.' And I've never really found a happy inbetween - it's one end of the spectrum or another.

I do have to say, I think I go through more positive phases than negative, but still, I wish I could have a positive outlook and belief in myself all of the time. Yes, I am not following the normal rules that life wants us all to follow and yes, that's incredibly terrifying but it's also incredibly exciting. Imagine if it all works out, how amazing will it be? How proud will I be that I followed a different path? My OWN path. And that's why I've just got to stick through it and stop comparing myself to everyone else.

Let everyone else do their thing and you do yours. There's no point comparing myself to people who are off to Uni this year and doing a Physics degree because, that's not me. I'm a creative person and deep down I know that the 'educational path' just isn't the right way to go.

So, I'm going to try and stop focusing on what everyone else is doing and just start focusing on me and what I'm doing. That's what should be important. I want to start pouring myself fully into the things that I love and stop being so hesitant. I want what I do to be a success, just as much as say, my brother, wants a First in his degree.

Just because you're doing something different to somebody else, doesn't make it wrong.

Without creating my little space on the internet and following my own path, I wouldn't have any of the opportunities that I get to collaborate with amazing brands such as Ego! They kindly sent me a gorgeous pair of heeled sandals, which you can see pictured above, and I absolutely love them!

Ego are a great new brand I've been introduced to and I'm so so impressed by them already. The shoes I received are super lovely and they have such an amazing selection to chose from too. I chose the Whitney Rounded Heel in Nude Faux Suede and they paired perfectly with my cute new playsuit/dress! They're great for dressing up little day dresses and keeping your feet cool on blazing hot days (like it was when I photographed these images).

Definitely go and check out their site here and have a look at their instagram @egoofficial too!

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6 comments

Loved this holly! I too have been having doubts and really just freaking myself out on the path I've taken. I'm doing a creative route too and often get those patronising comments but they don't know what amazing opportunities there are. I wouldn't worry about the future too much, it looks like you're on an amazing path xx

Thank you so much Eloise! I think we just have to trust our gut. If you know that Uni is the right path then wonderful but it's also wonderful to feel like you can take your life in another direction! Things always work them selves out! xx

I loved this post! Uni isn't for me either, I applied when everyone else did just because I didn't know what to do. I since realised what I want to do in life and have bagged my dream apprenticeship in digital marketing! It's so hard to know what you want to do early in life, I've changed my mind so often since the career chats in year 10. You're doing so well with your career though, so don't forget about that! X