A panda walks into a bar and gobbles some beer nuts. Then he pulls out a gun, fires it in the air, and heads for the door. “Hey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, “I’m a panda. Google me!” Sure enough,the bartender googles "panda": “A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white coloring. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why, such a long face?.”

This cowboy walks into a bar and orders a beer. His hat is made of brown wrapping paper, his shirt and vest are made of waxed paper, and his chaps, pants, and boots are made of tissue paper. Pretty soon they arrest him for rustling.

So there was this dyslexic guy who walked into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under one arm. The man says, “Beer, please, and one for the road.”