Today, magician David Blainedropped by City Hall to visit with Mayor Rob Ford, because Twitter has to run on something—and the combination of magicians, illusions, sleights of hand, and Rob Ford in that situation has the potential to power a whole lot of quips, caustic comments, and despairing observations.

As far as we can tell, David Blaine does not yet have his own action figure. Which is unfortunate, because if one did happen to exist, we’d all be able to reenact today’s Blaine-Ford meeting using little plastic men. Rob Ford, you see, now has his own action figure. For only $300, you can get your hands on small, menacing plastic mayor: if nothing else, he’d be company for your bobblehead.

It’s our humble and informed opinion that the best Valentines are often small, furry ones, and that the best and most fulfilling relationships often involve unpleasant-smelling food, purring, and feline imperiousness: so this Valentine’s weekend, why not welcome a new cat into your life and home? Toronto Cat Rescue will be holding adopt-a-thons, and $90 will get you a fixed, vaccinated cat, six weeks of pet insurance, and a City of Toronto cat license valid for one year.

And a warm, purring cat might help compensate for the fact that winter is not yet over, and the Great Lakes have turned to ice. That last part is an exaggeration, yes, but not an outrageous one: ice cover now stretches across 88 per cent of the Great Lakes’ surface—the last time these bodies of water were icier was back in 1994.