Lesson #6: You Don’t Have to Win Every Argument, Agree to Disagree

by bye2mrwrong

It’s a truly rare and brilliant talent to be able to admit when you’re wrong, with head held high and ego intact. An argument may start with two sides, but it doesn’t necessarily have to end with one winner.

In my marriage I compromised a lot. I compromised on the things I thought didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that I was the one who always cooked, even after coming back dead tired from a long day at work; and it didn’t matter that after cooking I was also the one who always did the dishes. I never saw a need to argue about the little things, because they weren’t major or life altering. They weren’t important. I knew when to fight my battles. I knew when to compromise. I knew what was important to me. There were only a few things in life I wasn’t willing to compromise on…all the rest were insignificant. Not worth the battle, not worth my voice.

But in hind sight everything, even the little things, really do matter. Because if you give someone the impression that nothing really matters to you, that they can always get their way, that you’ll always go with the flow, THEIR flow…well you end up compromising yourself. Lesson learned: Compromising is good, but it does not mean you need to compromise your beliefs, your values, or your faith.

P.S. Yes I know I skipped Lesson # 5. But it’s nicer for Regina Brett, the author of the book “Life’s Little Detours: 50 Lessons to Find and Hold onto Happiness” if I don’t give away everything. So I’ll let you get the book if you really need to know the lessons I skip.

2 Comments to “Lesson #6: You Don’t Have to Win Every Argument, Agree to Disagree”

You have learned an impportant life lesson. Nobody respects you when you are willing to be a martyr. I cooked all the meals when I was married, I did my share of laundry, dishes and cleaning the bathroom in addition to taking care of the cars and the lawn. When both parties work there is no such thing as men’s work and women’s work. On the other hand I expected and got sex when I wanted it.
Blessings on you and yours
John