finally got the keys to our new home. im so happy. wife is happy to but her Autism suffering with the change. lots of anxiety and panic setting in. we have a few weeks to complete the move so im looking for advice and ideas on how i can help reduce anxiety and help her feel more settled.

so far ive got;

Lists! i got a little note book just for the move so she can list and record window measurements and colours for the walls etc.

Getting her excited about decorating with me. we've chosen colours together and we've planned to paint together and have music playing. (shes built a decorating playlist.

A relaxation box. Because we will have bathtub in the new flat her mum gave her a bit of money so we went shopping and chose some new bubble bath, a new sponge, new shampoo and conditioner and i encouraged her to choose a scented candle she liked so that she can have a "Pamper Bubble bath"

The one piece of advice that I got given years ago and which I've followed with every move since is to have a separate box packed with kettle, tea bags/coffee, milk, mugs and biscuits. Then make sure its the last thing you take out of the old house and the first thing you take into the new one !

Plus I found it essential to label each box with it's contents and which room it is to go into. Makes it much easier for anyone who is helping you with the move, especially if you also label the door if each room - I.e. bedroom / sitting room etc. Saves them having to keep asking you !

And don't try and unpack/arrange everything in one go - take your time; moving house is tiring work.

we didnt "decide to move" our private rented flat is £1250 a month and we were struggling to afford it. been bidding on the council system for nearly 13 years, (between my wife and i. my wife 12 years and me 6) A few weeks ago we found that our private rented flat has a large rat infestation and with our baby in the house we finally got offered a council place. we have used our savings to buy new carpets (as there were none in the new flat and the council wont let us move in without them as its 2nd floor.) we've also had to buy an oven, washing machine, and all new clothes for our daughter as rats got into her drawers.

Its hardly been a choice. We simply don't have enough money left to pay for a removal company. I don't appreciate the tone of your response bowlingbun. You act like i brought this on myself. I let my wife choose a colour for the new bathroom from the sale bin in a hardware store and she paid £3 for the whole tin. i let her do that because with Autism any change is horrible so to be told you have rats, the rent increase, the loss of her support animal, the death of her grandfather, i thought asking for a few pounds for a tin of paint to make her feel a little tiny bit in control was hardly a hardship.

If you have nothing better to do that question "why" we are moving instead of offering advice i kindly ask that you dont bother replying in the future.

Your situation sounds appalling and.you sound very stressed by it. £1250 a month for a place with rats! This country really has gone to the dogs. And the council insisting on carpets but not providing them. I'm shaking my head in dismay as I write. I'm sure BB (as we call her) didn't mean to offend you but she clearly hit some sensitivities. She does tend to ask factual questions in order to give relevant practical information but I can understand that this can seem insensitive when you're not used to her. You clearly have very good reasons to be moving.

I am sorry to hear about your recent losses. They take their toll too. I hope your new home marks a turning point and things start ti improve for you.

Would you like to tell us more about your situation? Don't feel obliged if hou really only wanted advice on moving but you're very welcome to get more involved. We all try to be supportive in our own way but sometimes we get it wrong unintentionally. Don't forget moving house is meant to be one of the most stressful things you can do but it will be over soon and the stress should ease off at least a little.

Sorry. When I wrote this I thought you were a new member. Please ignore the bits that probably sound patronizing to you. They were intended for someone not used to the forum.

Hi David,
Until your last post you hadn't told us anything about your dire housing situation.
My question was designed to find out more, in a few words (as at the time I didn't have access to a keyboard, just my phone) and maybe find some solutions for you.
If you Google "help with removal costs" you will find various options available, the council might help, you might even be able to get a loan which you can repay in instalments.

"Why did you decide to move? Not much point in planning colour schemes if you are unable to pay for the move"

there is no way i can read that as anything other than rude and judgemental.

I should not have to explain every in and out of my life. At the end of the day my question was about how i can best prepare an autistic individual for a change as big as having a new home and having to pack all of their safety items into boxes.

our council offered no grants/loans/financial assistance at all.

We now have to move next tuesday and have this weekend to pack up a whole flat and downsize to something smaller, whilst trying to manage my wifes autism and cope with a one year old who is going mental at the packing and screams non stop (also she is teething and has an ear infection)

Plus my wife i undergoing testing as her heart rate now rests at above 80 and her finger and feet are almost always blue. but of course the drs have a waiting list for weeks. managed to get her in for a bloodtest the other day after fighting for it only for them not to be able to get any blood out of her arms. my wife was in tears and is now bruised up and down. they wont have her back for any more tests for 3 weeks as they have no appointments. her legs are weak most days and her joints all hurt. i dont know how we are going to walk home everyday now as the new flat is a 3.5 mile round trip to town and i dont drive. (she cant use buses or taxis)