Make new friends and keep the old

It’s hard to believe this photo was taken 10 years ago. This was the night of my bachelorette party, and I had flown up to Pennsylvania from Texas.

On this night, we talked for hours on end. About life, school, work, relationships, goals, and everything else under the sun. We stayed up all night chatting and laughing, not wanting our time together to end.

The girls in the photo are, and have always been, my closest friends. (There is one other person who couldn’t make it to this particular event and hence isn’t in the photo, but we made sure to skype her!)

We all met during childhood, and grew up together. Since we went to the same boarding school from grade 4-12, we spent nearly every day hanging out with each other. We played on the same sports teams, and were in the same clubs and classes. I have so many memories with these women.

Those highschool days were so carefree! I did not have a care in the world…even though at the time, I thought I did (boys!)

Although my girlfriends and I mostly went our separate ways in college, our friendships have remained firmly intact. Even though we’re almost all married and most have kids (not me though!), we keep in touch regularly, and get together at least once a year.

In my perspective, there is nothing more significant and timeless than a strong friendship. I feel really fortunate to have the very best people as my friends.

That said, I will admit that I have, at times in my life, experienced loneliness. The times that were the hardest were when I moved to a new city. I have moved several times in my adult life, and each move has been rough.

Moving is hard! Even though Joel has always been there for me, there is just something really rough about not having friends nearby. This can really dial that loneliness up a notch. And for me, moving has always required completely starting over. The prospect of starting over from absolute scratch to rebuild an entire life can feel daunting and extremely isolating.

When we moved to Connecticut back in 2014, we didn’t know a soul here. We had our jobs and each other, and that was pretty much it. Our lives consisted of adjusting to new jobs and settling into apartment life after 8 years of being homeowners. I missed our friends, our family, our house… our old life and that sense of “belonging”.

In any case, over time, we met people through work, church, and other random life things. As it goes, the more people we met, the more people we were introduced to, and continued to meet. But even still, it took a long time to feel like we had “our own” people.

Know what I mean?

As it happens, some of the acquaintances we met in the first couple years turned into real friendships which we continue to have today. It took a couple of years before we felt settled.

Anyone else feel like the first couple years after moving to a new place are the hardest?

Fast forward several years, and here we are, feeling settled and happy. I never thought I would say this, but I have actually warmed up to the idea of living here long term. Shock!

And I actually hate winter! (Joel doesn’t mind it due to his love of skiing).

One of the major things that helped us to feel settled was making friends here. We went from not knowing a single person when we first moved, to having a pretty solid network of people. They made all the difference.

It took a long time, but turns out it was worth it, because I’m happy that we have such awesome people in our lives.

Some of my favorite Connecticut memories involve the new friends that we’ve made. One recent favorite day was when we hosted our very first lobster bake. It was such a blast to have our friends over, boil lobsters, and hang out. We look forward to creating more memories like that.

Crazy how these important relationships, and lack thereof, can be so defining! Friends can make such a enormous impact on our sense of well-being and our quality of life.

We have learned the significance of true friendship from the awesome friends we have made along the way. Our old friends from childhood simply “get” us, and understand why we are the way we are. They know our strangest quirks and still love us despite them! Our new friends are right there in our current situations and can understand our daily life. They are often in the same stage of life, or can at least relate to it!

Both types of friendships (old and new) are so precious. Such a good reminder to keep investing in relationships and not take them for granted, because they are worth their weight in gold!

You are very lucky to still be close to your childhood friends! For me, I realized that most of them were not good friends for me and for the others, it is harder to keep in touch now that I have moved away. However, after 3 years in a new city, I have made new real friendships and they are so great. I completely agree with you. My best memories are with my friends (and boyfriend) in this new city and it is the reason why it feels like home here 🙂

I can totally relate to this post. I have just moved to the UK and although my brother and I are here together we said to each other that we have not met friends who are ‘our people’ like you state in your post. I have enjoyed reading your posts! Keep em up!