A "plain old married couple"

Saturday

When John Naylor woke up the morning of Oct. 15, the realization set in that he was getting married.

He also realized he had forgotten to buy his partner, David Grice, a "happy anniversary" card.

"David, I'm sorry. But I did not get you an anniversary card," Naylor said. "How about we get married instead?"

"And he threw his arms around me," Naylor said this week in his Pooler home. "It wasn't until that very moment that I really felt like we were getting married. And it wasn't until that very moment that I knew this was absolutely the right decision."

Naylor and Grice did get married later that day beneath an arbor in San Diego's historic Presidio park. A pastor with the Metropolitan Community Church of San Diego officiated.

Tuesday, the couple's marriage certificates arrived in the mail.

Today, Naylor and Grice are included among an estimated 18,000 same-sex marriages that were sanctioned in California before the state's voters approved a constitutional ban on Nov. 4.

California's attorney general has said same-sex marriages performed before the election are valid, and Naylor said he isn't worried about his marriage certificate being revoked.

"It would take a lot of hearings and a lot of lawyers to do that," he said. "It's real."

Some local pastors say they have officiated at "commitment ceremonies" and "holy unions" for same-sex couples, but none can perform a wedding because Georgia does not recognize same-sex marriage.

Neither does the United Methodist Church, to which Naylor and Grice belong.

And even if the church had allowed them to hold a religious service, it wouldn't have been enough.

Throughout their 34-year relationship, Grice and Naylor said, they have lived what they consider a normal life, working for the same things that average families want.

They have largely ignored gay enclaves and social scenes, choosing instead to live and mingle in family friendly suburbs.

"That's been our life. We've lived as part of the community at large," Naylor said. "We don't fly the rainbow flag. We fly the American flag."

For God and country

The couple met through Grice's roommate while working in the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., in 1974.

"It just clicked," Naylor said.

Grice, a Vietnam veteran from Claxton, was a communications specialist in the U.S. Army. He later left the military to work for the U.S. Civil Service.

Naylor, a native of Mobile, Ala., worked as a U.S. Navy personnel officer and later as a government contractor.

They moved in together on Oct. 15, 1974, a day they marked as their anniversary through the next three decades.

Early in the relationship, Grice had wished they could be legally married. But, neither was interested in non-binding ceremonies some same-sex couples use to symbolize a life-long commitment.

"We really sort of looked at those as being something fake," Naylor said.

They also had to hide their relationship from the military.

As the years passed, the dream of marriage slipped away.

In 2005, they retired to Pooler. They bought a house in Godley Station and, as lifelong Christians, joined Asbury Memorial United Methodist Church.

Then in June, a relative jokingly suggested they go to California to get married.

"We laughed and went home and didn't think much else of it," Naylor said. "Then over the next two or three weeks, we started talking about it."

"And, one evening, I asked David, 'Well, would you want to get married?' " and he said, 'I'd like that.' "

With that, Naylor began to plan a wedding. They chose San Diego because Naylor had friends there and Grice had never visited. Naylor researched potential wedding locations, photographers, rings and attire.

Both wanted a traditional religious service with an ordained minister and three friends as witnesses.

When they returned to Savannah, the newlyweds assumed life would continue as before.

But on their first Sunday back at Asbury Memorial, they were surprised to hear the Rev. Billy Hester announce their marriage in the middle of his sermon.

"Really, it was Billy saying that that made me say, 'OK. We're going to go ahead and put the announcement in the newspaper,'" Naylor said.

As they wrote the announcement, they also wrote their rebuttals to possible anti-gay marriage backlash.

"I didn't know whether we were going to come home to find graffiti on the house or get a hate call or be in line at the grocery stores and someone make a negative remark," Naylor said.

"In reality, it's been just the opposite."

The announcement and a photo ran in the Nov. 9 issue of the Savannah Morning News, the latest of at least three same-sex marriage announcements the newspaper has printed in recent years.

The only response was phone calls of congratulations from friends, they said. A stranger even congratulated Grice when she recognized him in a supermarket, he said.

"It's been very positive," Naylor said. "It's been a powerful experience, interestingly enough, from the time we decided on this to the present. "

So far, the arrangement hasn't changed their lives.

Because neither the state nor federal government recognize them as married, each will still check the "single" box on their state and federal taxes.

Nor does the marriage give them the legal right to demand to be at each other's bedside should one be hospitalized and assets won't transfer should one of them die.

Same-sex couples still have to hire an attorney to handle all that.

What the marriage does give them, they said, is something they've dreamed of: the right to be "a plain old married couple."

"Marriage is a normal course of action for two people in love who want to make a commitment," Naylor said. "In retrospect, we couldn't have passed up the opportunity. We were denied that for so many years when we really wanted it."

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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