From his posh Presidio perch in misty San Francisco, former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev was yesterday warning the Kremlin against being hasty in burying the embalmed body of his hero, Soviet founder Vladimir Lenin.

Well, if he refuses to let go of the coffin, just go ahead and bury them both. That way, he can serve Lenin in the afterlife. And while we're talking about the burial ceremony, throw about 10 or so cans of spam, a pitbull, a cat you don't like, and Helen Thomas in the same hole, too.

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