A random blog by an aspiring author who delves into the fantasy that all things can be solved by the perfect cookie and a pair of handknit socks.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Twue Love!

This past week I have had a couple of reminders about my favorite movie. This is not a cinematic masterpiece. It doesn't have an astounding (or even surprising) plot. It has no major wonderful special effects. The dialogue is cheesy, the costumes impractical and the cast was virtually a bunch of nobodies or half-knowns. However, if I were stuck on that proverbial deserted island with only one movie to watch (no one has told me yet how I would play it) it would be Princess Bride. Yep. The movie with fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles... (Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to stay awake.)

This past week Peter Falk died. He was the grandfather who tells the story to his grandson, stuck at home sick. And yesterday on TeeFury Fezzik was the subject of their daily shirt. (Buy it so the artist won't hurt.) (If you don't check out TeeFury on a daily basis you should because they only release a single design each day for one day only and then it's gone. The topics range from Firefly, Star Trek, Star Wars, Doctor Who, TMNT, LOTR, POTC, Harry Potter, Buffy, comics, basically anything that strikes a fancy with current or nostalgic pop culture - today it's Calvin Ball.) And from that (I'm assuming) there was a flurry of tweets on Twitter quoting Princess Bride. It also didn't help that the question of the week last week was "If you had a million dollars what would you buy?" and someone wrote down "Andre the Giant's left hand." (Don't ask. I don't know.)

So if this movie isn't a cinematic masterpiece, what is it that makes it my favorite movie? Simple. It's brilliant. It has fantastic witty and quotable dialogue that can be used in so many different situations. I can't think of another single movie that has so many quotable lines than Princess Bride. Off to the store to do a little swim suit shopping? The line that chases you out is "Have fun storming the castle." To which you are then obligated to call back, "Do you think it will work?" It will take a miracle. As you wish is the exact same in our family as I love you. And I have learned over the years to never end a sentence with "I mean it" because one of my children will respond with "Anyone want a peanut?" Even when I am angry and about to explode. In a hurry to leave for something and the others in your party are not fast enough for you? Out comes the fake Spanish accent and "You donna suppose you could speed things up?" That guarantees the response, "If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do." When the oldest teen sleeps in until afternoon they are usually greeted with "You've been mostly dead all day."

I love the score for this movie. There are lots of Dun-dun-dun-duh's that are so reminiscent of old westerns. It's climatic when there is fighting and swoony when it is romantic. And there is kissing (They're kissing again. Do we have to read the kissing parts?) A movie with kissing can't be all that bad and because the kissing is generally made fun of in this movie even a seven-year old boy can watch it without being grossed out.

There is much to be learned from this movie as well. For instance if someone is all dead then the only thing you can do is go through their pockets and look for lost change. There is nothing better than true love (except for a nice MLT where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomatoes are ripe). Life is pain (, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something). There are no R.O.U.S.'s in the Fire Swamp (Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist. THUMP! And there always has to be a thump after I don't think they exist otherwise it isn't funny). Mawwiage is a bwessed awwaingement. (Do not try to quote the Impressive Clergyman unless you can do it correctly.) And always remember: never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Thunk!

Need a new insult? Princess Bride has got some good ones including: you wart-hogged faced baffoon, miserable vomitous mass, unemployed in Greenland (I mean really, that would be so horrible!) and my favorite "Humperdink! Humperdink! Humperdink!"

If you have never seen it, I pray you, get a copy. Invite some of your most silly (or better yet serious) friends over and eat chocolate (it makes it go down easier) and drink a bottle of brandy. Learn the lines. Quote the lines. And above all live for True Love! It's inconceivable that someone wouldn't.