Holidays at Heartbreak Hotel; How To Get Over Her by @sir_castiq.

If you’ve been following me on twitter, you’ve probably learnt I’m single again. So much for faith.

Why is it that we so desperately search for “The One”? Hollywood has so conditioned us whether we like

it or not to the idea of that one perfect girl. One solitary chance at happiness which if you miss, you are

doomed to die unloved and alone. I’ve had quite a number of breakups. Each has been quite painful because

for some silly reason, I am unable to develop the thick shell most guys use to block Cupid’s attacks. I think

it is curiosity. I love people, especially girls. They fascinate me and so when I meet a pretty one(Ugly girls

have way too much personality for me. I want to be entertained, not read War and Peace), I want

to know all about her. She talks, She smiles, I listen, I nod, I fall.

Being single over the holidays hits your harder than at other times of the year. While everyone is either going

on dates or spending hours glued to phones, tablets, and laptops, skyping, chatting, DM’ing, and even snapchatting

with their boos, you are suddenly the one no one wants to hang out with because you are so grumpy.

Anyway, I’m here with advice on how to survive a break up this holiday season.

1) Do not call. Your brain will make it seem like it’s the mature thing to do. I mean you should take the high road

right? Wrong, You’re addicted to her voice and are just calling for a fix. Whether it’s just checking up, or calling

to as a question, You are a druggie and that phone is your hypodermic needle. Put it down and man up. You’ll be better

for it.

2) Do something. I can’t recall how many hours I’ve spent in the dark pining over lost loves. One day you’re a regular

fun, life of the party kind of guy, the next you wear your hoodie up and listen to Nickleback. Break ups can be hard.

Do something useful. Learn a skill. That way you distract yourself from wanting to call every five minutes and the skills

you learn make you a better person.

3) Go out. What you need most at this point in time is perspective. It’s easy to sit at home thinking wistfully about

your one true love. It’s much harder to do that when a double dee figured, Russian-Nigerian acrobat is flirting with you.

Granted the chances of meeting such a girl are slim but your ex is not actually God’s Masterpiece. She may seem so now

but wait until you see what’s in the back of the shop.

4) Be Positive. It’s easy to fixate on all the things that are going wrong right now but to do that is the start of the

long slide into depression and trust me you do not want to go there. Studies have shown that our current emotional state

affects which memories come easiest to us. Why when everything’s going good you can’t remember that time all you had to drink was garri and when you are sad, last week’s fun events stay out of your mind. Your mind is a sneaky bastard. He

plays trick on you and you need to watch him.

5) Get Laid. This one is for guys only. In relationships, guys suffer from one-itis. The belief in “the One”. Getting laid

resets your brain’s boo gland. This way you can see that though your ex was a great gal She is by no means the only one

in the world. Do try to be truthful to the rebound though. It’s ungentlemanly to have her hoping for a relationship.

The sex here must be taken like a pill. Only to clear your head that is all.

6) Do not sleep with the Ex. You’ve been doing ok. Everyday getting better. One day at a time. Then you run into her in the street and all the pain and longing hits you. It’s so easy to let things take their course. Stop it. Smile. Say ‘Hi’

and keep walking. There’ll be time for talking later when you feel better.

I tweet @sir_castiq. You can hook me up with your cute female friends on twitter.