Tag: GIF-ranking

(So *that’s* what Amir’s been up to these past few years? That poor, poor man…)

You might not know this, but the UFC needs to book a fight approximately every 3.5 seconds in order to pull off hosting as many cards as it does these days. And with fighters going down to injury every 5-6 seconds, the UFC is all but forced to inflate its already bloated roster (or keep somefighters around way, way too long) with less than experienced fighters to make up the difference. Hence, Royston Wee.

In the past 12 hours, a half dozen or so fights have been booked for just these reasons. Most of them promise to be entertaining affairs. Some of them, not so much. Hence, gifs. Let’s get started.

Although not officially confirmed, it looks like we will finally see “The Korean Zombie” return to the octagon for the first time since being broken to pieces in his four round smash-up with Jose Aldo at UFC 163. According to reports, Jung will face TUF 14 alum and Swedish native Akira Corassani at Fight Night 53 on October 4th.

Corassani has also had a rough go of things lately — back in November, he scored a victory via DQ against Maximo Blanco at the TUF 18 Finale when a blitzkrieg of illegal knees rendered him unable to continue. He was then legally smashed up by Dustin Poirier in the second round of a back-and-forth, “Fight of the Night”-earning effort at the TUF Nations Finale. At the very minimum, someone is going to have something broken in this fight, which makes this ranking obvious:

Tomorrow night, the UFC returns to Georgia to deliver an action-packed evening featuring a who’s who of “Who’s that?” with Fight Night 35: Rockhold vs. Philippou. I’m kidding of course, because Fight Night 35 is at least attempting to make up for its lack of name power with a six-fight main card, and you know what they say about quantity over quality (it never fails!).

So as has become tradition with every great (or at least mediocre) fight card, it’s time to rank the Fight Night 35 main card fights according to our — and therefore, your — interest level. Let’s do this!

The only reason we ranked this fight last is due to the fact that a win won’t do much for either man other than secure their job for another fight. But don’t get us wrong, there’s plenty to watch for in this showdown between TUF alums. Cole Miller has dropped three out of his past five fights, but that didn’t stop him from calling out half the lightweight division (including “Colin Magoober”) after narrowly defeating Andy Ogle at Fight Night: Munoz vs. Machida last October. We expect him to go full heel against Sicilia, who recently saved his career and broke a two-fight skid by tearing through Godofredo Castro like a dingo through a baby at Fight Night 32. This one probably isn’t going the distance.

You know what the craziest thing about the UFC 168 pay-per-view price hike is? I’m actually going to pay it. That’s how badly I want to Anderson Silva vs. Chris Weidman II, because as amazing a troll as Chael Sonnen was, he never came close to a burning ol’ Andy as bad as Weidman just did in the above gif. There’s just something magical about those two, and the power of the gif for that matter, so we figured, “Why not combine them both into an article?”

No offense to Fabricio Camoes, but who the fuck is Fabricio Camoes and why is he fighting on the biggest main card of the year? Jim Miller may always bring it (and should finish the Brazilian inside three rounds if the bookies are to be believed), but this is a “Fight Night” main card matchup at best. Ranking:

Fight-booking articles are a dime a dozen. Throw a couple statistics here, a fighter breakdown there, and top it all off with some information about the event and you’ve got yourself a perfectly normal, haiku-length article that you could almost pass off as journalism. And then its back to huffing duster in your grandmother’s basement, desperately and fruitlessly attempting to blind yourself from the hellscape that has become your reality. But at least you don’t have to wear a tie to work! (*laughs, cries into whiskey*)

The point is, there are some matchups you can’t help but elaborate on as a fan of the sport – Woodley vs. Condit, for instance. But there are only so many ways to inform you readers that several lower-level fights have recently been booked on (under)cards you probably won’t even watch, so when all else fails, we resort to the GIF. Let’s get to the fight bookings!

Regardless of your stance on Street Fighter, we can all agree that the UFC has dropped a relatively stacked card onto our laps tonight. A six fight main card featuring the likes of Mauricio Rua, James Te Huna, Pat Barry, and crazy cat lady Julie Kedzie is a card worth delving a little deeper into, so we decided to break down each fight and rank them according to our own completely unbiased interest level. Oh yeah, and there will be gifs. Big gifs. Small gifs. Scanners gifs. Enjoy them, then make sure to swing by CagePotato at 9 p.m. EST for our liveblog from down unda’.

#6 – Clint Hester vs. Dylan Andrews

We mean no disrespect to these TUF 17 alums, who have both scored impressive KO victories in recent fights (Andrews is actually 2-0 in the UFC, with his last fight ending in a third round knockout of Papy Abedi). But simply put, one of these fights have to be ranked last, and if you think we’re placing these guys over Pat Barry or Julie Kedzie on our “Must Watch” list, you’re dead wrong, son.

In terms of pure drawing power, it makes sense that Sonnen vs. Evans would find itself as the co-main event of the evening. But when we step back and consider what a win would mean for either fighter in terms of their division, it becomes a significantly less intriguing fight to say the least. (Ed note: I know, it’s not exactly the “glass half full” mentality we were hoping to establish, but baby steps, you guys.)

Simply put, both Sonnen and Evans have done about as much as they can do at 205 lbs: they’ve fought and been dominated by Jon Jones, they’ve picked up wins over aging legends in recent bouts, and they stand about a snowball’s chance in hell of receiving another title shot. Not that every fight needs to be a “#1 contender bout” to interest us, but throw in the fact that Sonnen was already supposed to have returned to middleweight after fighting Shogun, that Evans is coming off a pair of less-than-entertaining affairs and that these guys are friends/co-hosts and you’ve got all the ingredients for a snoozer.

Oh yeah, and Sonnen has admitted that he isn’t exactly thrilled to be fighting Evans in the first place. When The American Gangster can’t even muster up the energy to throw a slightly racist death threat his opponent’s way, look out, brother. Official Ranking: