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Friday, November 30, 2012

If you're not a regular reader, I need to preface the following post with a little background. Yesterday, I decided to share my blog with my friends and family on Facebook which is kind of a big deal for me. You can read yesterday's post here.

The following is a little Q and A that I intended to include with yesterday's post but later decided to turn into another post. These are questions I'm guessing many of my friends and family would like to ask me, but maybe they are too polite. Since I'm the type that just can't function with an elephant in the room, I need to address these questions, so I can move on to bigger and better blog posts about the Elf on the Shelf, the Oakland Zoo, and my husband's hair.

So, without further ado, here is a little Q and A with myself (or what I suspect are seven questions friends and family would like to ask me)--

{one}﻿

Q: Why did you decide to name your blog the "The Imperfect Catholic?"

A: Actually, my original title was "The Imperfect Catholic: My Quest for Sainthood."

I'm still not sure if I like my title or not. Maybe you can help me decide if I should keep it or change it. I definitely feel it's an accurate description of myself and the faith journey I'm on. I think the title is relatable, and it's the number one way people stumble upon my blog. I think there are a lot of Catholics out there who feel like they just can't measure up, and they are looking for answers. I guess one of the problems with my title is I don't think I'm qualified to give any answers. I just concentrate on what's in front of me. Another reason, I'm not sure about my title is I'm afraid it excludes non Catholics from being interested in my blog. I'd love to have a more inclusive title, but nothing else feels right. Any ideas?

Right now, I'm following the advice I gave students when I taught creative writing, "Just write. Don't worry about the end product. You can always go back and edit, delete, rework later. Just write." You can read a little more about why I chose the title here.

{two}﻿

Q: So, do you only blog about religious stuff?

A: No. I blog about life with the kids too. You can watch a video of Maura on the monkey bars & pictures from a recent hike here. You can read about life with Griffin here (my favorite post-- please listen to Barry while reading). You can read about Paul here.

I usually only have time to post 2x per week here. It's all I can manage with 3 small children, but I write every day. Sometimes that writing turns into a published post. Sometimes it doesn't.

Things I'd like to write about:
-- Mike
--Mike & specifically his wealth of hair. Just trust me on this one.
--memories of growing up (those stories are only fun if my friends/family read my blog-- pretty, please?)
--how parenting is like college
--circles of parenting Hell-- what Dante left out
--favorite songs-- what's best for karaoke? gangsta rap? best for girlie dance parties? I own this one.
--the Oakland Zoo-- that place is awesome but totally whack
--my freaky experience with an abortion doc after moving to SF. Trust me, it was crazy, and I'd really like to blur the lines between fact & fiction with that one because it was C-R-A-Z-Y. Maybe a short story?
--why I will probably never wear a mantilla, but why I may start kneeling to receive the Eucharist (someday)
--why I'll probably always feel okay about wearing jeans to mass (just not every week)
--signs that I would always become a Catholic blogger

I'd love it if you would leave me a comment & tell me what you'd like to hear about.

{three}﻿

Q: So, Kate, are you guys, like super religious now?

A: We're practicing Catholics. And by practicing, I mean we practice our faith every day (not just Sundays); that was a life changer for us. Does that mean we're super religious? I think that's a matter of opinion/perception.

{four}﻿

Q: So...I hear you guys use NFP. How many kids are you planning on having?

A: Seriously, only God knows. If Mike & I learned anything about trying to have kids, it's that it never goes according to plan (at least for us). We lost our first two babies through miscarriage, then couldn't get pregnant (so we started reading about NFP & charting-- I'd say we were starting our NFP journey then), then Maura, then didn't get pregnant again (even though we started trying when she was only 9 months old), then we postponed when we moved to Vegas (as we worked on our marriage-- a tough time), got pregnant very easily with Griffin, started officially using NFP 100%, then Paul, currently postponing because I'm having some medical issues and life is...well...crazy...but, yes, I think we will have more children (if we're able to). We're open to it. We'll see what happens. Stay tuned.

{five}﻿

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Q: Do you still drink?

A: Every night.

{six}﻿

Q: Do you still swear and do "normal stuff"? (I think people want to know if practicing Catholics are flawed and if they have other interests or if it's all Jesus, all the time).

A: Yes, we still have the same flaws and interests that we had before going back to the church. In terms of swearing, we're kind of like Old School (the movie) over here. Maura is too old for "earmuffs," so we usually turn the radio down when our favorite rap song starts cursing, and I try to use my old "teacher swears" in front of the kids like, "Oh gosh!", "Holy crow!", or Mike's least favorite "Bananas!", which I turn into "banana hammock" when it's just the two of us which grosses him out. Get used to it Mike-- we live in San Francisco.

So, I guess our life is kind of like when you're favorite R-rated comedy is edited for television. I think that is more of a result of being parents than of being Catholic though.

{seven}﻿

Q: I noticed you post pictures of your outfit every Sunday. What's up with that?

A: I participate in a Catholic fashion link up on Sundays over at Fine Linen and Purple. You can read an article about it here. It's just something lighthearted that I like to do with my Catholic e-friends. Do you have a blog? Join the fun!

Do you have other questions? E-mail me or leave a comment. Thanks for reading!

And because you've been such a good sport, watch this video of a man interviewing his 12-year-old self. It's flippin' awesome.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Most of you already know I used to blog (& post my updates on Facebook) for all my friends & family to see. Then, I stopped. Why?

Well, I think my fictional friend, George, can explain it better than I can. Here he is expressing his fears and frustrations about his worlds colliding-- when his girlfriend and his friends interact.

And I guess that's what I felt like when I hit publish with my blog originally. My worlds started to collide. So I took a breather.

And after some time off, I decided I missed blogging, so I started again. I blogged about a lot of things-- the kids, religious stuff, culture of life stuff, silly things, etc. You get the picture. So I kept blogging & blogging, and after a while I started to miss sharing my posts. I'd write something and think, Kelly would laugh at this, or, Amy would love this one.
But, for some reason, I still couldn't hit that share button on Facebook. So, I started thinking, and thinking, like I always do. And I started thinking, maybe I'm not worried about my worlds colliding. Maybe I'm not George Costanza. Maybe I'm Holden Caulfield. Maybe I'm afraid of being called a "phony."

So, I mulled that over for a week or two, and then I remembered a paper I wrote in high school about Holden Caulfield. So, I re-read it-- my research paper on The Catcher in the Rye from 17 years ago. Half a lifetime ago. Sister Mary Catherine was my English teacher back then. Ah, the memories. Did I mention I got a 100% for content? No joke. I am so proud of my 17-year-old self.

Basically, I argued that Holden was not crazy (as so many literary critics labelled him). Instead, I described him as unique and double-minded (open minded?), "enraptured" with authenticity and sincerity. Yes, I'm really quoting my 17-year-old self. Holden kind of saw the world as black and white; he was a person of extremes. If anything or anyone contradicted, he would label them as "phony," which, according to the literary critic I cited in my paper, "indicates a contemptuous condescension toward the failure of his society to measure up to his expectations" (French). So there it is gang-- Holden's tragic flaw. His standards and expectations were impossibly high, and the world could never live up to his standards. In fact, I'd argue that Holden himself couldn't live up to his own standards. Having high standards didn't make Holden crazy; it made him sad. For real. At the end of the novel, he begrudgingly accepted that the world would never be perfect, and remained resentful. In my paper, I actually called Holden a "hater." Who knew that my slang would become a part of pop culture years later? What a trend setter, I am.

So, long story short, I realized reading my old paper that, like Holden, my own impossible standards are holding me back. I will never be perfect, nor will the world. My blog will never be perfect. Some readers will love my posts; others will hate them. That's life.

So, friends, if you've never been here before (or if you haven't been here in a long time), welcome (back) to my blog. I am so happy to have you here. If you're one of the Catholic e-friends I've made along the way, thank you. I hope I don't lose you here. And if you're one of the people who have continued reading since the beginning (on the sly), thank you for giving me time to figure out what this blog is (I'm getting there; it's still evolving), and thank you for your discretion.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Thanksgiving was grand. But Friday, we didn't do much. Mike worked a half day in the morning, and by the time he got home, the boys were already napping. He took Maura to the park where she amazed him with her mad, monkey bar skills. That girl takes after Mommo.

And when the boys woke up, we just kind of hung out. Then, Mike had the genius idea to take a short hike up the hill behind our neighborhood, but it was getting kind of dark and a little chilly. I had my doubts, but the hike was beautiful-- just one of those perfect nights. I'll let the pictures I took speak for themselves.

I'm not sure if I love these photos because they came out well or if it's because I love the people in the photos or if it's because I have such a fond memory of this night. Whatever the true answer, it was one of those nights when the ordinary became just a little extraordinary. Love those moments.

Old workwear. Ugh. We all have it, and I will readily admit that I have no idea how to wear it now that I'm no longer teaching.

Looking to the side to avoid the dreaded glasses glare.

These black pants are actually really nice. They are part of the only suit I own that I bought from Banana Republic about 6-7 years ago. So why don't I wear these pants more often? The suit they are from is my job interview/winter funeral suit, which means every time I wear these pants, I think, these are the pants I wore to the interview for that job I didn't get, or I think, these are the pants we buried Aunt Martha in.

Additionally, I have no idea how to wear black work trousers without looking like I'm going to work, which is why I left my shirt untucked (but now I see that it just looks sloppy). I have Googled "what to wear with black trousers" and the only decent post I found was this one from Ain't No Mom Jeans.I need more ideas, so leave me suggestions.

The shirt I'm wearing is pretty awesome though, and I'm sad it doesn't look awesome here. It's a light grey flannel shirt from J.Crew that I bought a few years ago. It's one of their "perfect shirts." I love, love, love this shirt. It looks great with yoga pants & ballet flats. It looks great with jeans. It's warm but thin, and it's perfect for layering. I usually pair it with a red scarf for a pop color, but I chose to wear my former workwear/bridesmaid pearls in lieu of the red scarf because I wore a red jacket instead.

Sadly, now that I see myself photographed in this red jacket, black trousers, and glasses, I'm positive that I look eerily similar to Sarah Palin.

Yup.

So since my outfit was a fail, let's look at a better one. Here's what my daughter wore today.

Friday, November 23, 2012

I'm linking up with the always entertaining Grace Patton today for What I Wore to Thanksgiving Dinner.

So, did you have a good Turkey Day? Did you? Did you?

Ours was fun. For the first time in 5 years, we celebrated with family-- yes!

In case you don't know, my husband has one of those fun corporate jobs that requires us to move every few years which means we're always in the process of making new friends (& then leaving them) & are never near family. But... with our latest move to the San Francisco area, we found ourselves close to my cousin! Yes!

So, my cousin & his girlfriend came over for dinner which meant our house was 4/7ths redheads (or 57% redhead, for those of you who prefer percentages) which is both awesome and a statistical anomaly. Why didn't I take a photo of all of us in our redheaded glory? I don't know. I guess I was too busy stuffing my face with the Pioneer Woman's mashed potatoes & drinking too much wine.

Our guests were most gracious. They didn't mind putting together the kids' dinosaur puzzle a million times, nor were they bothered by Griffin's announcement of "DOODY!" (or is it spelled "DOOTY!") during dinner. Or Griffin lovingly using my shirt as a tissue after dinner (TO THEIR HORROR, "What are you wiping on your mommy's shirt?!?!"). Nor were they offended by Grif feeding the delicious Ghiradelli chocolates they brought for dessert to our dog. And my cousin didn't seem phased at all by Maura using him as a human jungle gym. Good times.

Because they were such good sports, we treated them to a special viewing of Elmo's Potty Time before we put the kids to bed. I am sure we scarred them for life, or at the very least, convinced them never to have children.

So, let's get the What I Wore party started--

Here I am with my daughter in matching outfits. Yes, I know matching outfits are lame, but I love them. & Maura thinks they are fun. So, who cares?

Here I am in one of my aprons. I am a big fan of aprons. And I highly suggest you buy one if you haven't already. This one is from Target, but you can find even cuter ones on sites like Shabby Apple or etsy. I am obsessed, and yes, before you ask, Maura and I have matching aprons too. Don't hate.

Here's Mike in his man apron-- mapron? He's getting ready to cut the cheese. Yes, I just went there.

I told him to make a funny face, and this is what he went with. I don't know.

And here's our signature family dish (required at every Thanksgiving). Curried Cauliflower. It smells kind of icky & looks neon, but we loooove it. And the best part was when my cousin saw that I made it, he said, "This dish reminds me of your mom," and then helped himself to one two three helpings of the cheesy, creamy, curry deliciousness of curried cauliflower. It's an acquired taste, but we love it.

Here's the post Thanksgiving text I sent my cousin this morning. Do you think he'll ever hang out with us again? Fingers crossed.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Leave me a comment, so we can be e-friends. Chances are our brood will be moving to a city near you!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Last night, I met a girlfriend that I went to high school and college with in San Francisco for a quick tour of The Beat Museum, a visit to City Lights, and some Italian seafood in North Shore. What can I say? I had a slight obsession with Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassidy (be still my 16-year-old heart) in high school, and I was grateful that my friend was willing to indulge my teenage self with a trip to some San Francisco literary hot spots. We were both English majors, so books & booze was how we did girls' night. Lots o' fun.

And before you call me hipster, here's proof that I'm not the only Catholic who thought berets and sunglasses were cool...

I love this poster.﻿

Moving on.

Needless to say, I was dragging this morning when I got up, bright and early, for 8 o'clock mass. So, I put on a quick, comfy outfit.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Paul will turn one-year-old this week, and I recently realized how little I've pushed him. It's been grand.

I was giving him his bottle (yes, still a bottle), and a grandmother (surprisingly) at a church playgroup asked me if Paul could feed himself/hold his own bottle. I almost shot her a look (stink eye to be more accurate). Couldn't she see how comfy & content this monstrous baby was snuggled in my arms? Couldn't she see I was glowing? But I restrained myself and calmly responded, "He could probably hold his bottle if I needed him to, but I really enjoy feeding him. He's my baby, you know?"

The grandma then told me all about how her daughter insisted that she give her grandson (who she watches) a sippy cup from as early as 6 months, and then she admitted that she found it a bit silly-- a little baby struggling to use a cup so early. When she said that, I knew we had some common ground. I smiled & told her that both Maura & Griffin had given up their bottles by the time they were 10-11 months old. Then I smiled and said, "I haven't even tried giving Paul a cup yet." And added, "I think all of those "rules" for parenting & milestones are just guidelines anyway..." knowing I had no intention of introducing a cup anytime soon. The snuggling is that great. Call me selfish; the cup can wait.

A friend of mine on Facebook posted this status about her daughter approaching one year too--

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Our kids are one month apart.

Reading her status made me think of how much I've enjoyed having Paul as part if our brood as well. The big kids (ages 2 & 5) have a blast with him. Griffin likes to gently wrestle with Paul; it's odd how Griffin understands he has to be gentle with his baby brother without my telling him. They are best buds.

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And Maura? Forget it-- she is everyone's favorite! She can make Paul laugh so hard-- big belly giggle laughs by just looking at him, but then again she makes us all laugh. And she doesn't care if Paul pulls her hair or drools on her while I take their photo...

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And all of this has me thinking about something my husband & I have discussed quite a bit-- the third baby is the first baby we really enjoyed because we weren't worried. With the first baby, we worried about pretty much everything-- the perfect temperature in her room, breast verses bottle, introducing solids exactly the way the baby books told us to, transitioning from bottle to cup before she turned a year. It was exhausting. And with the second baby, I worried about dividing my time. How could I possibly attend to everyone's needs when splitting my time between two kids? The horror. But, with the birth of sweet baby Paul, we were all finally free-- free of unrealistic expections, free of perfection, free to make mistakes, and free to enjoy each day as it came.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

I'm joining in on the fun with the ladies at Fine Linen and Purple for their weekly link-up, What I Wore Sunday.

I noticed a few ladies wearing purple over the last few weeks which reminded me I had this purple wrap dress.

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I bought it last year for sweet baby Paul's baptism. We've been referring to him as The Instigator lately though; his behavior at mass last week secured the title.

At the time that I purchased this dress, I loved that it was a wrap dress too-- perfect for nursing & my adjusting postpartum body. However, I've haven't been wearing it a lot lately because of the wrap design.

(still available online in black & purple, or black in Women's tall, which is what I ordered. I'm 5' 10", so I love that BR carries tall dresses. Wait for a sale-- you should be able to get it at least 30% off or more if you buy an off season color.)

white cami-- my dresser

brown tights-- Target

brown boots-- my closet

silver & brown stone necklace-- handmade by Navajo Indians from when we lived in Nevada.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Is it Friday already? Really? Wow. I have been neglecting my blog lately, and I apologize. The kids are really keeping me busy, and I've been struggling with keeping the house clean. I promise to try my best to blog for 30 minutes per day. That way I should have a few new posts each week. Pinky swear.

--2--

So many awesome things have happened lately! I'm very happy to announce (as someone who just moved a few months ago) that I'm starting to make some new friends here. Yay! And...wait for it...they are Catholic! Not a requirement, but definitely a bonus.

So, do you want to know where I met these new super cool friends? I'll give you one guess...

THE CRY ROOM.

Yes, the cry room.

Griffin was acting up a little more than usual in the main church, so I told my husband I'd take him to the cry room before he could disturb anyone else. My husband decided to come with me with the rest of our brood. When we got to the cry room, there was one other family with three little kids-- ages 1, 2, & 3. And let's just say as hard as we tried to keep those kids reverent, the cry room was rockin'. Before we knew it, all six kids were dancing to Alleluia, kind of like this (except younger, of course)...

Catholic Awesomeness.﻿

--3--

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The fun continued...

When it was time for communion, we went into the main part of the church and approached the altar. The parents of the other family received communion without incident, and so did I until I tried to leave. Mike was holding baby Paul behind me, and Paul yanked my hair so hard (Jerry Springer style) that even the Deacon ministering communion had to compose himself because he could not stop laughing.

It went something like this...

And then the deacon was like...

--4--

Last, Sunday I participated in my first What I Wore Sunday post, and I really enjoyed it. I was really nervous about joining in on the fun because I don't know much about fashion, and I was shocked when I received a lot of compliments on my orange blazer. Thank you. It is a favorite of mine, and I have to tell you a secret. I bought it 4 years ago. Shhhh...don't tell anyone. Now, I'm learning to "shop my closet" to find more outfits using the other ladies' outfits as inspiration. You should get in on the fun if you haven't already. Check out Fine Linen and Purple every Sunday for more details on the link up.﻿

--5--

Speaking of fashion, can you ladies suggest some good blogs to read for outfit inspiration (especially for stay at home moms)? I read a few, but I'd love some more links to check out. Also, what's in for watches these days? I've been wanting to buy a nice one for years, but I can never find one I like. I was thinking gold because my mom has always worn a gold watch. It seems classic and ladylike, but I'm open to other style suggestions. Holler at me. ﻿

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--6--

Have you seen this video yet? I can't stop watching it. I especially love the woman on the right who is so full of love, life, and admiration for JP2 that she is acting like she's at a Beatles concert. I also love the baby crawling part. LOVE.

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--7--

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I mentioned that we moved a few months ago from the desert of Las Vegas to the humidity of the East Bay, and my hair hates me. I can't style it at all. It just keeps getting kinky because of the humidity, and the wind...don't get me started on the wind.

So I was psyched when my Anthropologie catalogue came (do you hate it when people spell catalog as catalogue? Me too. That's why I spelled it that way. Just so I could tell everyone who spells catalog as catalogue to please stop spelling it that way. Thanks.), and I saw that messy hair is in style.