When Linda emailed me and said she would understand if I wasn’t up to our telephone tea this year, so soon after my husband’s death, I realized it was one of the few things I did want to do.

I knew that George would not have approved of me skipping this special tradition with my college roommate. He was so enthusiastic when Linda and I created our California to Virginia telephone tea several years ago.

We would each set tables with our good china and prepared goodies. George always baked scones and spent endless time taking photos of me at the table.

“Look up, honey. So I can get your pretty smile.”

Although they only met once, Linda and George became instant friends. She came out to visit while I was recovering from my cancer treatment. It made me so happy that he saw all the same wonderful qualities in her that I did. He understood why we had remained friends for so long even though we ended up living on different sides of the country.

Linda and I decided on a few small changes to this year’s tea. I replaced the fancy table with a small tea tray which I brought to bed, and Linda took tea in her recliner 3,000 miles away.

In the past we often giggled and exchanged stories like we did in our dorm and later in our shared apartment in Greenwich Village. But this time, the college roomies, who had not been 18 for many decades, were both widows. Both had lost their great loves to cancer.

More Senior Moments

Linda, whose husband died many years ago, comforted me with a softness I remember being drawn to the first time we met. She used it to soothe me, freshman year, when the boy I had a crush on didn’t know I existed.

Many years later, she laughed with me when I told her I had finally found a man who not only knew I existed, but returned my crush. And, 32 years later, she cried with me, when I lost him.

No, I could not cancel our Friendship Tea.

Email Patricia Bunin at patriciabunin@sbcglobal.net. Follow her on Twitter @PatriciaBunin