I swear. No, really I do!
This is not news to anyone who knows me well. This should not even be news to readers of this blog (cf. No.5 of Seven Phrases I’m Known to Use in this week’s Monday Meme). Also, participants of this year’s Annual ALIA LIW Trivia Night in Brisbane would have seen me sport this lovely apparel…

That word. The one often referred to by its inital. The F word. It’s a staple in my vocabulary.

For years I’ve tried giving up swearing for Lent but I rarely make it to 10am on Ash Wednesday before I’ve uttered a string of unutterables. I’ve come to accept that, while I try to cut down on my profanity, I really am quite a little potty-mouth.

I do manage to keep things under control when I find myself in particular circumstances. I don’t swear in the church. I don’t swear in front of children. I don’t swear in front of clients. So I’m capable of restraint.

But… Am I a bad person because I swear? I often make the distinction that while I may use vulgarities, I rarely blaspheme. This observation was made to me MANY years ago by a friend of mine in the clergy. I liked his philosophy so much that I have adopted it myself.

I’m often heard to say the F word, the S word, a variety of B words and the A word but almost never the C word. I draw the line at that one.

I feel pangs of remorse any time I say “Oh my God!” I have almost completely cut out saying Jesus’ name except in prayer or when speaking about Him.

Something I have known for some time but never really think about has recently bubbled to the surface of my consciousness. We use sanitised terms and euphemism to express the vulgarities and blasphemies that we are afraid to say. Consider the etymology of the following:

These are just a few of the ones I put into the blasphemous category. These are, to me at least, just as blasphemous as if the original name had been used. (Which is one of the reasons why I could not stand to listen to Steve Irwin. Don’t even start me on that stupid Latin name of that snail!)

Then there are the non-blasphemous ones. The “minced oaths” that stem from vulgarities:

Fudge! Flip!
Sugar! Shoot!
Darn! Dash!

Just because you don’t think you’re swearing doesn’t mean you’re not…well, not in my book. For me, the link between these muted terms and their etymology is so strong that I hear the vulgar version even if you say the more socially acceptable word.

I remember the old favourite we used to say in primary school: Sugar! Honey! Iced! Tea! Which is, of course, an initialism of SHIT.

My mother used to tell me that she never swore as a child, a fact I didn’t doubt (knowing her upbringing). Then she told me that she, her sister and her cousins used to say “She! He! It! Thing!” and it reminded me of Sugar Honey Iced Tea. I broke the news to her that she had probably been swearing, albeit in muted form and totally unbeknownst to her.

It has been said by many that the use of profanity demonstrates a lack of vocabulary. I could not disagree more! With as much humility as I can muster, I would declare that I feel my vocabulary is more expansive than the average bear. My pride in my linguistic ability borders on the obsessive and arrogant. I try to keep this under control, too. (Having made such a declaration, I certainly hope I have no grammatical errors or malapropisms in this post! Oh, the ironing! LOL!)

Anyway, I think I’ve ranted enough. I could go on for days on this topic. Really, it just boils down to the fact that I swear a lot and I am not particularly apologetic about that fact. Nor do I consider this propensity for profanity any slight against my intelligence or vocabulary. So ner! :-p

See, miss a post by an hour and you can’t win. And I didn’t even have to turn my iPod on for this one. Don’t worry, Rach, I’m pouting with you. And, Fi, you can be arrogant about your vocab – after all, I’ll hazard a bet you can swear in two languages, not just one!!!

I openly admit I like the F-word. How is it one tiny work can be used to convey so much meaning, subject to the inflection and/or tone used…..and without any other words to support it to for a tangible sentence! Long live the F-bomb!

If anything, your eloquence is using so called profanities displays a knowledge of the Germanic roots of the English language, from which most of our swear words have emanated! As for myself, I swear like a sailor- in several languages :).