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When Christine O’Donnell was absolutely demolished in last November’s Delaware Senatorial election by Democrat Christopher Coons, Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off feared that it had lost one of its best targets of ridicule. For those of you with short term memory loss, Christine O’Donnell was the Teapublican candidate with so much baggage that even the Queen Mary could not hold it all. She was embarrassed by Bill Maher when he released video tapes of her admitting that she “dabbled in witchcraft” and proclaimed that masturbation is a form of adultery. While appearing on Fox News‘ “The O’Reilly Factor” in 2007 she said, “American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.” She also said that “evolution is a myth” and the evidence is that “Why aren’t monkeys still evolving into humans?”. During a debate with Coons which took place at a law school, she revealed that she had no idea that the First Amendment is interpreted by the Supreme Court as requiring a separation of church and state. She also lied about having attended and/or graduated from at least three different colleges, Farleigh Dickenson University, Claremont Graduate University and even the prestigious University of Oxford. There is no questioning the fact that Christine O’Donnell is a whack-job of the first order.

While she was running for the Senate, Blast-Off was blessed with an unlimited supply of song parody material. Christine O’Donnell could go head-to-head with the Queen of Crazy, Sarah Palin on any given day. The two of them were a virtual tag-team of Tea-Bagging titillation. Throw in Sharron “2nd Amendment Remedies” Angle, and we had a trifecta of Tea Party triviality. But alas, we lost both O’Donnell and Angle when they went down in electoral defeat. Sarah Palin was our lone survivor….UNTIL NOW!

Just a week or two ago, Sharron Angle announced that she was pondering a run for the presidency in 2012. Then on Tuesday, Christine O’Donnell announced that she has formed a political action committee known as ChristinePAC and that she is seeking donations. In an email to her supporters, O’Donnell lashed out at the media and establishment Republicans by saying,

“I’m determined not to let them destroy our movement. If I stand alone, though, I’m no match for the liberal media and the political establishment. But, with us standing together to fight, they don’t have a chance! A strong ChristinePAC will enable me to counter the liberal-controlled GOP establishment in upcoming Congressional Primaries.”

Huh? Who knew the “GOP establishment” was “liberal-controlled”? Somebody better get on the phone quickly with Mitch McConnell and John Boehner (pronounced “boner”) to conirm this shocking revelation. As unexpected as those words were, it was not surprising that O’Donnell failed to directly mention the ongoing investigation by the Justice Department and the FBI concerning whether she improperly used campaign funds in past elections for personal use. Instead, the non-masurbator played the victim-card ala Sarah Palin and wrote, “You’ve probably heard about the latest smear on me.” Oh boy,she is as crazy as ever.

But that is not all. There is even more good news for Lynnrockets” Blast-Off. Christine O’Donnell is currently working on a book about the 2010 election that is scheduled to be published later this year. OH HAPPY DAY!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

When she was shellacked last November in the Delaware U.S. Senatorial election, we thought we had heard the last of Christine O’Donnell. The Sarah Palin endorsed, anti-masturbation, Bible-thumping, witchcraft-dabbling Tea-Bagger had provided so much material for this blog and so many others that her sudden exit from the political scene was mourned by all. But, as Mark Twain once said, “the rumors of [Christine O’Donnell’s] demise have been greatly exaggerated”.

CNN reports that the Justice Department and the FBI has launched a criminal investigation into O’Donnell’s possible misuse of campaign funds. A source with knowledge of the probe confirmed to CNN that an investigation has been commenced, but the FBI and Justice Department have thus far made no comment. Justice Department spokeswoman Laura Sweeney acknowledged to CNN that the U.S. Attorney’s office in Delaware had agreed to review the initial complaint filed by watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics (CREW). However, Sweeney declined to say whether federal prosecutors and FBI agents had gone beyond the initial review.

While running for the Senate in 2010, O’Donnell faced repeated questions about her finances including the alleged illegal use of her campaign donations as a personal piggy bank from which she paid her personal rent and personal travel expenses in 2009 when she was not running for any office. She attributed the rumors of impropriety to a disgruntled former campaign volunteer, David Keegan, who submitted an affidavit to CREW alleging misuse of campaign funds in a previous O’Donnell Senate bid. CREW subsequently filed complaints with the Federal Elections Commission and the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Delaware regarding O’Donnell’s finances, asking for investigations of her alleged use of campaign funds for personal expenses.

The former candidate who once felt compelled to deny she was a witch, now denies that she is a criminal and claims that any investigation is a “vendetta”. She not only blames the aforementioned Keegan for the criminal investigation, but also Vice President Joe Biden. “Given that the King of the Delaware Political Establishment just so happens to be the Vice President of the most liberal Presidential administration in U.S. history, it is no surprise that misuse and abuse of the FBI would not be off the table,” she said, while not denying the substance of any such probe. Not surprisingly, the Biden office felt no need to comment on O’Donnell’s spurious allegation.

If the past can be used as a tool to predict the future, how long will it be before Christine O’Donnell releases a television advertisement in which the opening line mimics those famous words uttered by disgraced Republican President Richard Nixon, “I am not a crook”?

Lynnrockets is simply glad that Christine O’Donnell is back in the news so that we can re-post one of our favorite song parodies.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

This may be the end of the line. Sad but true. This may be the final Lynnrockets post about Christine O’Donnell. The “Witchy Woman” was, without doubt, the most hilarious Teapublican crackpot to burst on the scene since Sarah Palin. Indeed, she out-Palined Sarah Palin. Her non-masturbatory brand of satan-worshiping, evolution-denying witchcraft easily trumped Palin’s copyright protected re-loaded, death-panel inspired Mama-Grizzlies. Heck, Christine O’Donnell was Sarah Palin on steroids.

Unfortunately (only for the laughs, mind you), Christine O’Donnell lost her bid for a Delaware Senate seat. She was crushed by Democrat Chris Coons and with her defeat, we were denied our daily dose of O’Donnell insanity. To lose our amusement so abruptly was as painful as a heroin addict’s anguish from going cold turkey. Oh, the humanity!

Suddenly however, there was a glimmer of hope. The rumor mill was churning and there was word that Fox News might come to the rescue. Christine O’Donnell might be given a spot on “Fox and Friends” or a regular guest host position on Glenn Beck’s comedy show or Bill O’Reilly’s tabloid news program. It all made sense. O’Donnell had previously announced that she had Sean Hannity “in her pocket”. She is clearly as dumb or dumber than the other Fox talking heads. Best of all, Sarah Palin was already on-board with Fox. it would have been a true “Mother Grizzly and Child Reunion” (Hey, there might be song parody in that one).

Alas, our hopes have been dashed. Fox News has reported that it “has no plans to hire her.” To paraphrase President Richard Nixon, “We won’t have Christine O’Donnell to kick around anymore”. Christine O’Donnell, we hardly knew ye.

Excuse me. What’s that? Hold on loyal readers, some new information is coming in through my tinfoil hat…

BREAKING NEWS: The rumors of Christine O’Donnell’s premature demise might have been exaggerated. The non-self-flagellating O’Donnell appeared on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on Wednesday and said she’s fielding plenty of job offers. She said they range from “Anything from a book deal to a reality show.” She went on to explain, “I am not necessarily interested in a reality show…I would like to do something like a watchdog-type show.”

Oh, happy day! It looks like we may have the opportunity to have a lot more fun at Christine O’Donnell’s expense after all.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Not All Of My Children” features Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska has just released a new ad which looks strikingly like a Presidential candidate’s ad. In it, she makes reference to all her wonderful “Mama Grizzlies”. Problem is, she apparently has disinherited some of her unsuccessful cubs. Christine O’Donnell, Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Sharron Angle and Linda McMahon are all conspicuously absent. Let’s watch…

THIS JUST IN: Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA) gave the most spot-on victory speech last Tuesday evening. After trouncing the Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Sean Bielat, he said this…

Go get’em Barney!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Despicable Me” stars Sarah Palin. The Queen of Quit included the following “tweet” as one of her favorites on her Twitter account: “The Blood of Jesus ATLAH World Missionary Church” in New York. The sign read: “The blood of Jesus against Obama history made 4 Nov 2008 a Taliban Muslim illegally elected president USA:Hussein.” The next time someone tells you that members of the Tea Party are not racist, vile, violent and deranged, show them Palin’s favorite “tweet”.

THIS JUST IN: It was nice to see the Democrats pick-up a few election victories after Tuesday. Patty Murray won a Washington Senate seat by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Dino Rossi; Pat Quinn won the Illinois Governor’s race by defeating far-right Republican Bill Brady; John Kitzhaber won the Oregon Governor’s race by defeating Republican Chris Dudley; Michael Bennet won a Colorado Senate seat by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Ken Buck and John Hickenlooper won the Colorado Governor’s race by defeating Sarah Palin endorsed Tea-Bagger Tom Tancredo. Dan Malloy won the Connecticut Governor’s race by defeating republican Tom Foley. Most surprising of all however, was that Jenny Oropeza won a California state senate seat by defeating Republican John Stammreich. This is startling because Ms. Oropeza passed away two weeks before the election.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Never Trust An Unnamed Source Unless It Furthers My Agenda” features Minnesota’s Teapublican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. The moon-bat crazy Bachmann was punked into believing an anonymous source quoted by an Indian newspaper that claimed that President Obama’s 10 day trip to India will cost in excess of $ 2 billion: $200 million a day, 34 diverted Navy ships, a 2,000-person presidential entourage, and 870 hotel rooms in India. To put things in perspective, the alleged daily cost of the trip would exceed the daily cost of the Afghan war. When pressed by CNN‘s Anderson Cooper to back up her numbers, Bachmann responded, “These are the numbers that are coming out in the press.” Of course she forgot to mention that the “press’ which she relied upon consisted of an unnamed Indian and the Drudge Report. The story has been denied by the Obama administration as “wildly inflated”. Michelle Bachmann is a crazy person and anyone that votes for her should be institutionalized.

THIS JUST IN: The next time some Tea Partier tells you that, as a result of the Republican capture of the House of Representatives in the last election, the Health Care Reform Law will now be repealed, tell them this. Tommy Thompson, the health and human services secretary under President George W. Bush says,

“When it’s all said and done, you’re not going to be able to repeal health care because President Obama is not going to sign it. And they don’t have enough votes to override a veto, so why push a cart uphill when you know it’s not going to be able to get to the top?”

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Ouch! That’s Gonna Leave A Mark” co-stars former President George W. Bush and former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. The concensus fifth worst President in the history of our great nation has told friends that Palin is not qualified to be President. “Naming Palin makes Bush think less of McCain as a man,” a Republican official familiar with Bush’s thinking told the Daily News. “He thinks McCain ran a lousy campaign with an unqualified running mate and destroyed any chance of winning by picking Palin.” Heckuva job, McCain.

THIS JUST IN: David Letterman: “[Sarah Palin] says she wants limited government. … Does she mean fewer elected officials? Or few elected officials who will resign in the middle of their term? I think limited government will be perfect for her limited abilities.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

THE BALLAD OF SARAH PALIN

Lives in a compound up in Wassilly,
Behind a big fence so Joe can’t see
She got a taste of being “Mavericky”,
So she quit her job as Alaska’s G
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

Tea-Baggers follow her where she goes,
Starin’ at their tv’s when she’s on Fox shows
A Palin sighting sets them all aglow,
As she shakes their hands and then takes all their dough
Sarah, Sarah Palin, spreading her hate and fear!

Through Red State woods she’s a marchin’ along,
Makin’ up yarns like her “death panel” song
Her looks are frightenin’ and she smells quite strong,
She’s really just a liar with facts all wrong
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the brain-dead buccaneer!

Letterman said that she dresses like a whore,
Then she screamed so much that her throat got sore
She had money but she needed some more,
Got herself a Greyhound for her book tour
Sarah, Sarah Palin, profiteering pioneer!

She says the Lord is her guiding hand,
And dinosaurs co-existed with man
All those books that disagree should be banned,
That sciencey stuff she don’t understand
Sarah, Sarah Palin, logic she will not hear!

She believes that Congress should go to Hell,
She will send them there by castin’ a witch spell
Palin wants Washington to listen well,
To all those fabrications that she does tell
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the moonbat of the year!

When she goes home her politickin’ done,
Alaskans all will up and run
But Sarah will pick up her trusty gun,
And shoot up all her neighbors just for fun
Sarah, Sarah Palin, her rifle sight is clear!

She moved to Houston an’ Austin so,
To the southern states she just had to go
Tea-Baggers were fightin’ another foe,
And Sarah hates the immigrant Joe
Sarah, Sarah Palin, nativist without peer!

She’s not the smartest but she is dumbest,
Despite six schools could not pass a test
When it comes to being dumb she’s the best,
She should make her home in a cuckoo’s nest
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

If you're finished and you know it, clap your hands!

To all the Palinbots out there, it is time to face the ugly truth. Sarah Palin is no longer the flavor of the month. Her moment has passed. Her star has flamed out. Her influence has waned. She is quickly becoming an “also ran”. A loser.

Like so many flashes in the pan before her, Sarah Palin captured the attention of this nation for a short while. When she was chosen as John McCain’s running-mate in 2008, nobody had ever heard of her. That anonymity alone made her interesting. “Who is this person that may be second in line for the presidency?” the national media and the rest of us wondered.

The interest increased on a daily basis as more and more of her dirty little secrets were revealed. The “abstinence only” born again Christian has a pregnant unwed teen daughter? It took her 6 years at 5 mediocre colleges to earn a mere bachelor’s degree? She tried to have her brother-in-law fired from his job as an Alaskan State Trooper? She inquired about banning books at the local library? She had a witch doctor drive demons from her body? She chose her children’s names by throwing a dart at a dictionary page? (OK, we made that one up, but it fits in perfectly well with the rest). You have to admit, this was interesting stuff. Sarah Palin’s life resembled the perfect marriage between a Lifetime channel cable TV movie and an episode of the Beverly Hillbillies.

“Enquiring minds” wanted to know about every wacky detail of this crazy woman’s entertaining life. We were not disappointed. Soon we learned about “bridges to nowhere” and “thanks but no thanks”. Her disastrous nationally televised interviews gave us the hilarious gifts of “you can see Russia from Alaska”, “I’ll have’ta get back to ya on that”, and the now famous “all of ‘em any of ‘em”. She even introduced us to some new sidekicks such as the “pitbull with lipstick”, “Joe Sixpack” and her new BFF, “Joe the Plumber”.

Despite the fact that Palin’s antics entertained us throughout the presidential campaign, the fact is that a vast majority of Americans did not take her seriously. Her ticket lost in an epic landslide and it would have been best for America if she disappeared ala Dan Quayle. But such was not the case. We may have been done with Palin, but she was not done with us. In short, she refused to go away.

She found a willing loudspeaker for her hate-fueled radically conservative rhetoric at the insane asylum known as Fox News. The network’s uneducated, brainwashed audience rabidly ingested every unintelligible sentence that Palin vomited. Sarah Palin became the pied piper of the misinformed masses and she relished her status. So, in July 2009 she quit her day job as Governor of Alaska (after only having served for one half of one term), hired a ghostwriter to pen her fictitious memoir and embarked on a nationwide fee-based book signing and public speaking tour. Always in demand, Palin spoke at such prestigious events as the Liquor Wholesalers Convention, the Bowling Convention and the highly coveted Battery Back-up Sump Pump Convention. The sky was the limit.

There was one little problem, however. The national Republican leadership was not so enamored with Palin. After having just been trounced in the nationwide elections, the G.O.P. was inclined to distance itself somewhat from this eccentric curiosity in its quest to rebuild a solid constituency. The party leadership did not want to consider the possibility of Sarah Palin representing them on the Sunday morning television news programs. They moved on.

Enter the Tea Party. The misinformed masses that watch Fox News and listen to the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Ann “the Man” Coulter and Laura Ingraham began to gather their pitchforks and torches and coalesce around the idea that they could take over the Republican Party and reform it in their image of racism, violence, fear and anarchy. Sarah Palin encouraged this malleable group of uneducated nitwits with talk of “death panels”, “reloading” and the “lamstream media” It was all “us against them” and the Tea-Baggers not only took the poison, but they appointed Sarah Palin as their de-facto Queen.

She willingly accepted the title. Then, when Palin learned of the sophomoric means of communication known as “The Twitter” and “Facebook”, she began to issue edicts to her minions on a daily basis and in a crude form of semi-English that they could understand. She ordered them to support her hand-picked assortment of radically fringe yet ultimately unelectable candidates who she referred to as “Mama Grizzlies”. And her subjects followed orders.

The Palin led Tea-Baggers vaulted candidates to primary election victories over mainstream Republican candidates despite their radical (and sometimes insane) objectives such as repealing the 10th and 14th Amendments, privatizing Social Security, removing fluoride from the nation’s water supply, banning abortions for victims of rape and incest, forcing elders to pay $ 2,000.00 Medicare deductibles and “horror of horrors” banning masturbation. Sarah Palin climbed out onto a very thin limb by personally endorsing these very high profile eccentric candidates and by doing so, she put her own credibility on the line.

Palin’s credibility has now been destroyed. On election day the nation’s voters said “no” to Sharron “2nd Amendment remedies” Angle. The voters said “no” to Christine “Masturbation is Adultery” O’Donnell. The voters said “no” to Linda “Women are Sex Objects” McMahon. The voters said “no” to Carly “Worst CEO in History” Fiorina. The voters said “no” to Meg “Illegal Housekeeper” Whitman. The voters said “no” to John “Lasers in the Sky” Raese. The voters said “no” to Sean “Privatize Social Security” Bielat. The voters said “no” to Tom “Let’s Bomb Mecca” Tancredo. The voters said “no” to Ken “No Abortion For Rape Victims” Buck. The voters said “no” to Dino “Repeal Wall Street Reform” Rossi. And, it looks like the voters will say “no” to Joe “Dump Social Security” Miller. In short, Sarah Palin was “refudiated” in a big way.

Even someone over at ever-friendly Fox News has now turned against Sarah Palin. On Thursday Mort Kondracke said, “She’s a joke even within her own party. The idea that she would be the presidential nominee is unthinkable.”

The lesson learned is that Sarah Palin is widely popular among a small group of radically misinformed fanatics, but her ideas and endorsements carry very little weight with the voting population as a whole. To the mainstream American voter, Sarah Palin is nothing more than an entertaining and curiously magnetic oddity much like the sympathy inducing side-show freaks of days gone by. We like being entertained by her antics but we have no desire to participate in her stage show or to be subject to her leadership in any capacity. That is why most of us hope that she runs for president in 2012. We know that we will enjoy the benefit of being amused while simultaneously being comforted by the fact that she has no chance of damaging the country by being elected.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

It was not all bad news yesterday. The Democrats lost the House as expected but they maintained control of the Senate. Consequently, there is no chance that radically conservative bills can emerge from Congress. Furthermore, virtually all of Sarah Palin’s hand chosen Tea Party crackpots lost. The voters said “no” to Sharron “2nd Amendment remedies” Angle. The voters said “no” to Christine “Masturbation is Adultery” O’Donnell. The voters said “no” to Linda “Women are Sex Objects” McMahon. The voters said “no” to Carly “Worst CEO in History” Fiorina. The voters said “no” to Meg “Illegal Housekeeper” Whitman. The voters said “no” to John “Lasers in the Sky” Raese. The voters said “no” to Sean “Privatize Social Security” Bielat. The voters said “no” to Tom “Let’s Bomb Mecca” Tancredo. And, it looks like the voters will say “no” to Joe “Dump Social Security” Miller and Dino “Repeal Wall Street Reform” Rossi. In short, Sarah Palin was “refudiated” in a big way.

Additionally, it is now apparent that Scott “Nudist” Brown’s Tea Party fueled Senate victory in Massachusetts last January was a fluke. Unlike most every other state (with the notable exceptions of New York and California), Massachusetts elected Democrats to virtually every elective office yesterday. Indeed, the state is bluer today than it was yesterday.

Brown’s surprise election was heralded (mostly by the Boston Herald Enquirer) as the beginning of a Republican revolution in the Bay State. He emboldened the state G.O.P. to challenge incumbent Democrats for the first time in decades. Problem is, the Republicans had no credible candidates. Additionally, Brown’s victory did not serve to energize the G.O.P. as much as it served to awaken and energize the hibernating Democratic Party voters who had become complacent after so many years of success. In short, Massachusetts voters vowed that they would not be fooled again. And they were not.

In yesterday’s elections, all statewide elected offices, including a closely fought governor’s race, and the entire 10-member US House delegation remained in Democratic hands, despite a national tide that left Republicans celebrating large gains last night. The Boston Globe reports that Peter Ubertaccio, a political science professor at Stonehill College said, “I don’t know how they view this as anything but a total disaster. I just don’t know what a political party does if all indicators across the nation, across the state, all point to a Republican year and they can’t win any races.”

Perhaps longterm Congressman Barney Frank put it best in his victory speech when he said, “The campaigns run by most Republicans were beneath the dignity of a democracy, and I am delighted they were repudiated.’’

We will not know the actual results until all the votes are counted, but the consensus is that Republicans will pick up a lot of seats in today’s nationwide elections. The G.O.P. is expected to gain a majority in the House but they are likely to remain the minority in the Senate and the Democrats will continue to hold the Executive branch until at least 2012. So, despite all of the fanfare and cheerleading from conservative talk radio and Fox News, on Wednesday the Republicans will still be a minority power with no ability to advance any legislation such as the repeal of the new health care reform law or the financial regulation law.

Nevertheless, there appears to be a prevailing feeling of euphoria throughout the G.O.P. The Republican Party for the time being is one big mutual admiration society. As we speak, centrist Republicans like Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins and radical-fringe Tea-Baggers like Sharron Angle and Rand Paul are cohabiting nicely. Yet just beneath the surface of this strained love affair lurks an intra-party assassination plot. Yes, the G.O.P. leadership has already “reloaded” and has an unsuspecting target in their sights. Who is it? Who else but Sarah Palin!

In an article posted on the right-leaning Politico.com yesterday, it is postulated that

“Top Republicans in Washington and in the national GOP establishment say the 2010 campaign highlighted an urgent task that they will begin in earnest as soon as the elections are over: Stop Sarah Palin.”

The article goes on to say, “There is rising expectation among GOP elites that Palin will probably run for president in 2012 and could win the Republican nomination, a prospect many of them regard as a disaster in waiting.”

“There is a determined, focused establishment effort … to find a candidate we can coalesce around who can beat Sarah Palin,” said one prominent and longtime Washington Republican. “We believe she could get the nomination, but Barack Obama would crush her.” The top advisors for most of the 2012 G.O.P. hopefuls told Politico that the candidates — as well as many establishment figures — are fixated on the topic of defeating Palin, especially on how to keep her from running or how to deny her the nomination if she does run.

The Politico article also says,

“In the wake of the 2008 presidential campaign, there was a widespread belief among Republican strategists and 2012 aspirants that the former Alaska governor was a colorful and energizing figure but not one who projected the authority, or even necessarily held the desire, to make a serious bid for the White House. This view gained credence after Palin resigned the Alaska governorship before finishing her first term.

But nonchalance has turned to alarm among party elites in 2010, as Palin repeatedly showed her clout among a key bloc of anti-establishment conservatives. Obviously relishing her role as a powerful force in GOP primaries, Palin made risky but decisive endorsements for Senate candidates such as Joe Miller in Alaska and Christine O’Donnell in Delaware, both of whom beat establishment favorites but in the process made those states less winnable for the GOP.”

This week an ABC News/Washington Post poll showed that only 39 percent of registered voters view Palin favorably and only 27 percent believe she is qualified to be president. Additionaly, nearly a majority of conservative Republicans think she is not qualified to be president. And interviews with some activists who admire Palin suggest that though they thrill in how she rubs establishment sensibilities the wrong way, this doesn’t necessarily translate to support for her candidacy.

Nevertheless, Politico contends that “The establishment-vs.-activists narrative is hardly novel in presidential primaries. What’s different this time is that the anti-establishment candidate — Palin — would enter with unmatched celebrity and media advantages, at a time when the establishment is weaker than it’s been in many years.” And, “The gathering presidential campaigns-in-waiting anticipate what amounts to two competing GOP primaries: one to win the backing of the party’s establishment, another to represent the tea party crowd. In past elections, voters of Iowa and New Hampshire have been resistant to highly partisan candidates, and GOP presidential nominees have historically gone to establishment-backed candidates over insurgents. Then again, that has also been true of GOP Senate primaries — which decidedly was not the case this past year.”

Politico goes on to describe that “Few, if any, Republican officials want to challenge Palin’s credentials in public, but most speak dismissively and condescendingly about her in private. They think she would kill Republican chances with independents and conservative Democrats frustrated with Obama’s expansive agenda. Many of these establishment figures argue in not-for-attribution comments that Palin’s nomination would ensure President Barack Obama’s reelection, as the deficiencies that marked her 2008 debut as a vice presidential nominee — an intensely polarizing political style and often halting and superficial answers when pressed on policy — have shown little sign of abating in the past two years.”

Isn’t it fun watching Republicans feed on their young?

Now Let’s get out there and Vote for the Democratic Party!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

HER TALK

(sung to the Dave Edmunds song “Girls Talk”)

There are some things she can’t cover up with lipstick and powder
Everything she says is just the same but the volume gets louder
Hope she comes no closer, hope she comes no nearer
My opinion of her can’t get any clearer
Oh, I don’t wanna hear her talk
Palin has flights of imagination inspired by her talk
But she won’t say the words I want to hear
“I promise everyone I’ll run for Prez next year”
Next year

Oh, wow!

Her talk is so very damn loud
Her talk simply shouldn’t be allowed
She talks about Sixpack Joe
Don’t you think that I know by now?

That the words that come from Sarah’s lips
Prove that she’s medicated
Sarah Palin is the type of girl
That needs to be sedated
“Death panels” and murder,
Her lies never-ending
Lately I have heard she is Beck’s fibbing friend

Her talk is so very damn loud
Her talk simply shouldn’t be allowed
Her talk resembles a mean snarl
Her talk is just a planned show
For the “Party of No”
Oh wow1

Why won’t she say the words I wanna hear?
“I promise everyone I’ll run for Prez next year”
Please, dear

There are some things she can’t cover up with lipstick and powder
Everything she says is just the same but the volume gets louder
But I don’t suppose her words could be much clearer
If you don’t obey, then you better fear her
Her talk
Emanating from this cow
Her talk.

With all the recent talk about the two whack-job “Mama-Grizzlies”, Christine “Witchy Woman” O’Donnell and Sharron “Obtuse” Angle, many people have forgotten that Sarah Palin also endorsed the moonbat-crazy “Papa-Grizzly”, Rand Paul. This guy however, is just as unhinged and radically right-wing as the aforementioned female Teapublicans.

You might recall that Paul is the guy that appeared on national television and stated that he believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially discriminate. He also said that he disagrees with the prohibition against such racial discrimination as delineated in the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution. Paul was so surprised by the near-universal condemnation of his position, that the following week he became the first politician in history to abruptly cancel his scheduled appearance on the Sunday morning Meet The Press television program. Yet, his endorsement of racial discrimination is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Rand Paul’s radical beliefs and contradictory statements.

Rand Paul also wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Problem is, the US Constitution says, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” Additionally, Paul has said that Medicaid is a form of “intergenerational warfare”. What he has not admitted to however is that 50% of his medical practice’s income is in the form of Medicare and Medicaid payments. Furthermore, Paul has declared that elderly, fixed-income Medicare recipients should be subjected to a $ 2,000.00 deductible before receiving benefits. He now denies that he has ever advocated such a position, but his Democratic opponent in the Kentucky Senate race, Jack Conway has exposed Paul’s dishonesty in this recent ad.

Rand Paul also has a questionable personal life history. Although he professes to be a devout christian, while a student at Baylor University, Paul belonged to a secret society known as the NoZe Brotherhood. The group’s work often had a specifically anti-Christian tone, as it made fun of the Baptist college’s faith-based orientation and called the Holy Bible “a hoax”. Also while at Baylor, Rand Paul allegedly kidnapped a fellow student, tried to force her to take bong hits, and demanded that she participate in a bizarre ritual involving his God, which he referred to as “Aqua Buddha.”

Crazy stuff, but Rand Paul has also been deceptive as an adult. On June 14, 2010 the Louisville Courier-Journal reported that Paul, who described himself as a “board-certified” ophthalmologist, was not actively certified by the American Board of Ophthalmology. Paul is currently certified by the National Board of Ophthalmology, but that is merely a rival organization founded by Paul himself in 1999 with Paul as president and his wife as vice-president. The National Board of Ophthalmology’s mailing address is a UPS Store in Bowling Green, Kentucky; the organization lacks a website and is not recognized by the American Board of Medical Specialties (ABMS).

Let’s hope that sober Kentuckians take a long look at Rand Paul and ask themselves if this is the type of person that they want representing them in the U.S. Senate. if they do, the answer will be a resounding, “NO”. Do the right thing Kentuckians, vote for Democrat Jack Conway on Tuesday!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today;s topical song parody.

It has been less than two months since Sarah Palin endorsed Teapublican Christine O’Donnell for Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat. On September 8th, the “Queen of Quit” retweeted a tweet from conservative radio host Tammy Bruce to her over 200,000 alleged followers. The tweet said, “@ChristineOD is great, her election must [be] a major focus for us all.” Palin then officially broke the news by calling her Fox News “BFF” Sean Hannity. Hannity then quickly sent out a Twiiter tweet which said, “Thanks @SarahPalinUSA for the last minute call in. Endorsement of Christine O’Donnell was an exclusive. Said she hadn’t told Christine yet.” Immediately thereafter, O’Donnell tweeted, “Just got Gov. Palin’s endorsement! Thank you for your prayers!” Yikes, what a frightening love triangle comprised of Palin, conservative talk radio and O’Donnell.

But, a funny thing happened on the way to a joint Palin/O’Donnell campaign appearance. O’Donnell was exposed as an unqualified fool. The whole nation became aware of her “dabbling in witchcraft”, “satanic alter” picnics, masturbation ban, evolution denying, tax evasion, college degree mystery, campaign donation games and finally, her complete misunderstanding of the United States Constitution. Nevertheless, Sarah Palin is a stalwart, loyal and dedicated supporter of her “Mama Grizzlies”. So, what did she do to rehabilitate O’Donnell’s image? Nothing. She quietly faded from the scene and thus far has avoided any attempted joint public appearance.

Our advice to Christine O’Donnell? Don’t hold your breath. There are only 3 days left before the election and Sarah Palin has hitched her caboose to the “Tea Party Express Traveling Kool-Aid Show and Freak Emporium”, which will purposely steer well clear of the Blue Hen State. Palin has made it absolutely clear that O’Donnell is persona non grata (btw, for you G.O.P. readers, persona non grata means “an unwelcome person”).

This is not surprising. Sarah Palin changes her allegiances as often as she changes her Naughty Monkey heels. When is the last time you heard her mention Meg Stapleton, Ivy Frye, Kris Perry, Kristan Cole or even Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman for that matter? Palin is fickle and loves front-runners and unfortunately for O’Donnell, the flavor of the day is Joe “computer tampering” Miller and Sharron “2nd Amendment remedies” Angle. Don’t believe it, Christine? Then try contacting Sarah by telephone and see if she will “get back to ya on that”!

Face it, Christine. You are on your own till Tuesday when you become a footnote in history. Here is a little advice until then. You might consider resisting the urge to don your lady-bug costume, get blasted and go on a manhunt this pre-election Halloween. You already carry enough baggage.

A Halloween to remember.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to this Halloween inspired parody.

I watched Bill Maher the other night
O’Donnell was so uptight
She said Charles Darwin was out of tune,
And his evolution theory was so untrue
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

(masturbation break with oohs and ahhhs)

She can’t seem to keep a lover,
Let me tell ya brother, she’s been sleeping in the Devil’s bed.
And there’s some rumors going round,
Polls are headed down
November will be the right time
To strike this witch dead

What with the media’s breathless coverage of her every tweet, Fox News’ willingness to utilize her as a guest host on nearly all of its fictionalized prime time programs and her conservative following’s near pious devotion, one would think that Sarah Palin would be the darling of the leaderless Republican Party. Such is not the case. In fact, the G.O.P. is beginning to realize that the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska may be the catalyst for the marginalization of “The Party of Lincoln”. In short, Sarah Palin may cause the demise of the Republicans.

Just two short years ago almost nobody had ever heard of Sarah Palin. The G.O.P. was led by such familiar names as Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, a resurgent Newt Gingrich and the actor Fred Thompson. Then the unexpected happened. Somehow the centrist John McCain won the Republican Presidential nomination. McCain however, was trailing Democrat Barack Obama by such a wide margin that he was forced to do something drastic in order to draw some attention to his campaign. Much like the literary Dr. Frankenstein, McCain was compelled to create some life from scratch. He stitched together some uber-right-wing conservatism, some female DNA, some down-home colloquialisms, a beehive hairdo and some rimless glasses. His handmade creation was Sarah Palin.

Much like Dr. Frankentein’s monster however, the McCain creation also suffered from some fatal flaws. They both had a damaged brain. Each became stronger and more identifiable than its creator. Both wreaked havoc on society and in the end, the Frankenstein monster and Sarah Palin each turned against their respective creators.

The Palin thing was alive, ALIVE! This 21st century mindless monster quit her job and stumbled out of the wilds of Alaska on her way to the Lower 48. Unable to master the written word, the pathetic creature hired a ghostwriter to pen her fictitious memoir. Unable to master the spoken word, Palin turned to Twitter and Facebook as her means of communication. Unable to appear human on television, she was forced to appear repeatedly on Fox News. The thing that became known as PALIN sowed fear into the hearts of all uneducated conservatives with her horrific tales of “death panels”, the godless land of Russia that she could see by means of her super-human vision and of her arch enemy, the would-be monster slayer, author Joe McGinniss.

Unlike the Frankenstein monster however, the Palin thing began to amass a large and adoring following. Sure, these devotees were comprised of racist, white, uneducated homophobes from the lowest rung of the food chain, but beggars can’t be choosers. The Palin thing’s fan base became known as the Tea Party (presumably because it is believed that something was slipped into their tea). These Tea-Baggers are a mindless lot that confusingly wants no government control over their government controlled Medicare and Social Security benefits. They hate the Obama administration because of his fictitious tax increases despite the fact that over 95% of them have actually benefited from the President’s middle class tax cuts. These Tea-Baggers have crowned the Palin thing as their de facto queen.

The Palin thing’s Tea Party royalty status is the biggest problem for the creature’s former party. Before John McCain’s monster was created, the whacko Tea-Baggers were all firmly entrenched members of the Republican Party. They voted in lockstep for every Republican they could find thereby ensuring at least some electoral success for the party. The creation of the Palin thing has changed all of that. The Tea-Baggers are now actively seeking candidates from within their own super-radical ranks. These Tea Party candidates are so out of the mainstream that they oppose meaningful portions of the Civil Rights Act (Rand Paul). They hope to privatize Social Security (Rand Paul, Sharron Angle), criminalize the consumption of alcohol (Sharron Angle), deregulate the oil industry (despite the Gulf oil spill) (Rand Paul), abolish the Dept. of Education (too many to name here), ban maturbation (Christine O’Donnell) and even remove fluoride from the nation’s water supply (Sharron Angle). This is crazy stuff that will draw votes away from Republicans in favor of unelectable radicals and the Palin thing adds to the chaos by endorsing these candidates.

Remember, it was only last November when we witnessed the damage inflicted on the Republican Party by the Palin monster. As you will recall, New York’s 23rd Congressional District seat had been held by the Republicans since the Civil War. In the most recent election the G.O.P. nominee was the popular and relatively centrist Dede Scozzafava. The Democratic Party candidate was the virtually unknown Bill Owens. The Palin thing and her minions in the Tea Party however, felt that Scozzafava was too liberal so they endorsed the conservative radical nut-job Doug Hoffman. Result? Scozzafava (R) dropped out of the race and Owens (D) easily defeated Hoffman (TB’er) and the Democrats captured a seat that they had not held for over a century. Damage done.

The Republican Party now justifiably fears that the Palin thing and her Tea-Bagger followers may cost the G.O.P. victories (and ensure Democratic victories) in any number of races in which the Tea Party fields a candidate. Consequently, it may be just the right time for the Republican faithful to pick up their pitchforks and burning torches and head to Castle Palin while shouting the mantra, “Palin Must Be Destroyed”.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to this Halloween inspired parody.

WITCH GIRL III

(sung to the Hall & Oates song “Rich Girl”)

You’re a witch girl, up in A-las-ka
And it’s getting worse for you every day
You can perform like a Playboy Bunny
You can perform like a Playboy Bunny
You’re a stitch girl? Cuz you’re quite bizarre
So we really wish you would go away
Pray, Honey that we don’t send you too far
Send you too far

And don’t you know, don’t you know
That it’s wrong to preach politics of hate
You’re so far gone, so far gone
Lil’ Miss Caribou you belong in a zoo
Todd should be in there too

‘Cause

You’re a witch girl and you’re no big star
And mascara won’t help you hide your age
You can go on wearing rimless glasses
You can go on wearing rimless glasses
There’s a hitch girl, you’re a has-been now
And the voters have all left and turned the page
The pitbull is a pig with lipstick now
Now say “Bow Wow”

Not too bright, a bit insane
It’s so sleazy, to damn others just because they complain
Those little fools and their ethics rules
They just get in your way and impede your payday
They will rue the day, oh…

You’re a witch girl, and you’ve gone too far
But that defense fund should help to pay your way
You can rely on that SarahPAC money
You can rely on that SarahPAC money
You’ll be a rich girl with a brand new car
And then you’ll move your family far away
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Save money but it won’t get you too far
Get you too far

And you say

You can rely on the SarahPAC money
You can rely on the SarahPAC money
You’re a rich girl, a witch girl
Oh, you’re a rich bitch girl yeah
Say money but it won’t get you too far
Oh, get ya too far