Volume Two

Surviving 9 Innings in 9 Easy Steps

by Gabrielle Augustine

Do you think you have what it takes to be a girl on an otherwise all-boys baseball team? It’s all about managing a balance between being tough and not losing all your femininity. If you can complete these nine simple steps, you have a pretty good chance of stepping up to the plate.

Know the Rules

There aren’t as many nuances to America’s pastime as there are to football, but baseball still comes with its own set of regulations. There are definitely some bizarre ones. “Drop third strike” gives the batter a chance to try and get on first base after striking out. “Balking” occurs when the pitcher stops in the middle of the pitch.

Sporting Background Required

It’s always helpful to have athletic ability. Also have a favorite team and/or player. Having those opinions shows true interest in the sport – you’re not just in it for the boys.

Sweating is Good for the Soul

Be prepared to become dirty, sweaty, and even bruised after a practice or game. After all, that’s what a shower is for! Don’t even try to be a clean freak while on the field – it’s hopeless. Besides, dealing with dirt shows that you aren’t a girlie-girl.

Girls Don’t Cry

Easier said than done – its hurts to get hit by a pitch. But no matter what, don’t curl up into the fetal position – act as though you can’t feel a thing. If anything, be angry! You went up to the plate to take swings – not to get an easy walk.

No Make-up Allowed

Who wants sweat lines from their mascara and eyeliner anyway? Unless the team’s name is “Raccoon,” you don’t want to look like one. Besides the practical reasons, make-up can give you a more delicate and feminine appearance – something you don’t want when you’re staring guys down on the field – you’re not there to flirt.

Breaking Nails is Never Fun

No fake tips or paint allowed. You will automatically become more cautious and dainty about the possibility of chipping or breaking a nail. Keep your nails to a practical short length. If by chance something does happen, make sure not to use that stereotyped phrase.

Never a Bad Hair Day

Not too long, not too short. Sensible ponytails ensure that no annoying hair gets in your face. But if it’s too short, and you don’t have the curves, you could easily be mistaken to be a very pretty guy.

Ditch the Dating

Perhaps this is the biggest ‘no’ on record. It is out of the question to date anyone from your team. No matter how cute that shortstop is, treat him like a brother. Otherwise, if it doesn’t work, things could get awkward really fast – and not just for you and him, but for the rest of the team too.

Pitching isn’t just for Boys (Suggested, not Mandatory)

There’s nothing more rewarding than seeing the surprise in a boy’s eyes when you, a girl, strike him out. Whether it’s your knee-buckling curveball or that he couldn’t catch up to your fastball, he’s certainly going to remember you.

Learn from my mistakes and remember the most important rule of playing baseball – have fun!