Cold Open — When Hillary Clinton lost the election, Kate McKinnon came out as Hillary and performed Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” Six months later, the entire corrupt Trump Administration (along with special guest, ScarJo as Ivanka) comes out and performs the same song. It’s kind of amazing how malleable this song is. Same lyrics, same notes. And yet, it’s an entirely different song when it’s about corrupt fascists praying that they hang on to their jobs in the face of criminal indictments and impeachment instead of a woman mourning her loss and the potential loss of American idealism. (Watch Here) (Score: 7.5 out of 10)

The Rock Monologue — The Rock comes out and confirms that yes, he is running for President, and he’s already selected his running mate, Tom Hanks, who also joins him on stage. They delightfully riff the only way two of the most likable men in America can. I would totally vote for this ticket (jokingly, but not really). (Score: 7 out of 10)

Fidget Spinner Jewelry — I swear to God, I’d never heard of a fidget-spinner until earlier this week when Petr wrote “What the f**k is a fidget spinner?” I said to Petr after he wrote it that I bet I’ll end up seeing it everywhere now, and sure enough: Here’s a commercial for a diamond-encrusted gold fidget-spinner for that significant other who is always bored. (Watch Here) (Score: 5 out of 10)

Wrestlemania Promo — Two wrestlers (The Rock and Bobby Moynihan, in his last SNL (*sad face*)) tape a WWF promo where they’re smack talking each other, but Johnson’s smack talk is weirdly, hilarious specific and personal. This recurring sketch is actually funnier than it sounds. (Score: 8 out of 10)

Rap Track — Big Kriss’ (Kenan Thompson) rap song gets out of hand because there are too many damn people on the track (basically the entire cast, plus a very special guest star, which I won’t ruin for you, because it’s the best thing about this short). (Score: 6 out of 10)

Scorpio Steve — A superhero (Johnson) arrives to save the day, but the women can’t get over how amazing the design of his superhero suit is. It is a well-made suit. “Being a superhero is a skill, but designing is a talent.” Amusing, because The Rock can apparently sell any sketch. He is a ridiculously charming man. (Watch Here) (Score: 6 out of 10)

Xentrex Commercial — Johnson plays a construction worker hitting up his doctor for an erectile dysfunction medication that is terrible for your body. Great sketch for the side effects, alone. “My bones are cold ….and I can read minds! Hail Satan!” The Rock is killing it tonight. (Score: 8 out of 10)

Weekend Update — Vanessa Bayer’s gibberish-speaking meteorologist is back, and maybe The Rock has just put me in a good mood, but it’s much funnier tonight than two weeks ago (the fact that Bayer is leaving gives it a little more oomph). Jost and Che have a lot of energy, and a ton of Trump material, and yet, the jokes themselves aren’t particularly good. I do like the new name they’ve given Trump, though: “President For-Now Donald Trump.” Bobby Moynihan also makes one last appearance as Drunk Uncle for old time’s sake. (Score: 6.5 out of 10)

Murder by Number — Two classic actors attempt to perform a dramatic scene but Bayer’s actress character can’t stop farting, which shouldn’t be as funny as it is, but good lord, it is AMAZING. I literally laughed until I cried. Stupid fart jokes. Low blow, SNL! Low blow! I hate fart jokes, and yet, this as the funniest sketch in a night full of funny sketches. That’s the power of The Rock. That’s why he should never run for President, because he would win and Dwayne Johnson should not be President of the United States. (Score: 9 out of 10)

Mad Scientist Conference — A series of villains get up to introduce their evil weapons, but Dwayne Johnson’s weapon wins blows them all away: A solar-rechargeable robot that molests children. Even the other evil scientists are profoundly disturbed. This is in incredibly poor taste, but it’s the Rock, so it works because it’s the last thing we expect from him … at least until the sketch weirdly morphs into a White Castle promo. (Score: 6.5 out of 10)

Bartender Wingman — The one miss of the night sees Beck Bennet play a wing-man who keeps asking for threesomes. Pbbbbbt. (Watch Here) (Score: 3 out of 10)

Millwood High School Class of 2017 — Strike that, make that two misses, and this one reeks of Kyle Mooney. This sketch blows. (Watch Here) (Score: 2 out of 10)