A French girl's musings…

A fascinating psychopath

It has happened again. I have become obsessed with a fictional character. Well, two of them really, but I identify far too much with Will Graham to find him more than incredibly interesting — I see much of myself in him so he cannot hold true fascination like Hannibal does.

It has come as no surprise to my friends that a psychopath has started haunting my dreams. Who is Nat if not the woman irresistibly attracted to the darkness? (Quoting one of them)

Hannibal is remarkable intelligence, incomparable charm and supreme elegance. He tilts his head, reclines in his chair, walks across the room…every move he makes is imbued with style, he is grace personified. For someone like me who is interested in fashion, Hannibal Lecter is a gift – I have quasi-orgasmic moments with each and every suits he wears. Even his “fights scenes”, few and far between, are choreographed to look like a particular violent type of ballet. I learnt today that Mads Mikkelsen (the actor who plays Hannibal) is a former dancer, it did not surprise me at all. Also, as a side note, his cheekbones are to die for and deserve a mini-series of their own.

Very much of the TV show Hannibal is filmed to appear as visual poetry. The Minnesota landscape shots are of the beautifully bleak sort, even the gory bits (which I’m not at all a fan of) are spectacularly done. The visuals, the soundtrack, the writing and the acting are all splendid.

Then, of course, we have the psychology – the thing that ultimately retains my attention. There is nothing new with a monster crying at the Opera but Hannibal’s incomprehensible “real” nature is underlined perfectly by his intoxicating charm and brilliant mind. His own fascination (obsession even) with Will Graham—the ultimate empath who understands how serial killers operate—does not prevent him from emotionally torturing him and taking him to the brink of madness. Simply because he can. Simply because he has finally found somebody worthy to “play with”.

The turmoil I felt when I watched Will tell Hannibal: “I didn’t know which was worst. Knowing I had done this…or knowing you had done this…to me. I wanted to trust you. I needed to trust you.” Oh, Will…I understand! While Hannibal stood there listening to this heartbreaking speech and feeling no remorse whatsoever for what he has put his “friend” through.

Last night I dreamt about Hannibal, I fear I shall forever be fascinated by monsters who cannot be changed. I may forever try to understand them even though there is no understanding to be had. I may forever be attracted to the despair, and the pain and the dark.

If you haven’t seen Hannibal yet, go watch it. The odds are you’ll enjoy it, even if you’re fortunate enough not to be an empath like I am, even if you’re not “crazy intense” like me.

It’s perfect to have someone who’s knowledgeable in the art of choreography, Once you have that down you have the attention of the viewers, Everything else after that is spice for people’s minds, perfect 🙂

I’m thrilled you like/love/obsess over it, because it’s WORTH IT. You know how some people say as a creative person you shouldn’t watch TV? Well BOLLOCKS it depends WHAT TV you watch. I recall watching The Piano when it first came out, then The Cook The Thief The Wife (OMG I love that movie and anything Peter Greenaway) and they changed me. Color me sad but how is that different to say, reading a book and having that happen? Is no TV or film worthy? Because egg-heads say so? I don’t buy it. I think ‘some’ select TV is as good as ANY book and I’m not one who thinks you cannot be an intellectual unless you throw your TV out of the window. And hell, if that were the rule then I’d embrace being a moron happily. For me, TV was a respite from ‘over thinking’ just as reading can be. There really are not that many incredible shows I can probably count them on two hands in my life time but this would be up there. (Alongside Twin Peaks of course)

Plus the thing about ‘our Mads’ is he’s an ex dancer and he MOVES so exquisitely every movement is poetry and every scene is too I love that they go so well together, I wonder if Anthony Hopkins chaffs to see him pull Hannibal even one step further? I’m truly sad as after watching the show I read all the books too! I actually thought they were incredibly well written so I’m either off my monkey or … art immitates art and is inspired by it

Yes! I found out today he’s a former dancer and I wasn’t at all surprised because the way he moves slays me. I’d be pissed if I was Anthony Hopkins actually, I was just thinking THAT 2 days ago. I haven’t read the books though I’ve got them on my shelf. I’m going to have to now. But…so little time to read everything I want to read gaaaahhhh

Apparently Anthony Hopkins is a big Netflix binger and he watched Breaking Bad the entire seasons in a long binge weekend after which he said the actor was a genius and then he said he wanted to work on a Netflix show so he did Westworld which wasn’t ‘that’ good. He’s a good actor but YEAH Mads has taken the sexy outta the box 😉

On a serious note (hand over giggling mouth) I dearly miss intense. There are NO intense people where I currently live NONE and this is no joke they literally DO NOT EXIST. I had ONE friend who was, and believe it or not, she changed! She got sick and basically became a Jesus Freak who wore white polo neck tops and talked about ‘Gods will’ and whilst I understand, I was like where is your former S&M Goth Chick man? It was weird. We used to go drinking in the middle of the day FOR THE SHEER HELL OF IT (French 77 all the way) and now she’s knitting and driving under the speed limit, it’s very perplexing I felt like I was left behind and I wasn’t sure if I should feel bad for being ‘childish’ or angry that she lost her former self? Anyway she told me I thought too much, was too introspective and that reading and knowledge was overestimated and the world did not require figuring out … I couldn’t believe it. Well … so that was my only truly intense friend and now she’s probably cutting the sides off her sandwiches (tacos) whilst I’m feeling ever the freak for being (intense) in a land of non intensity. (sounds like a song by BowWowWow ha ha)

Whaaaaaatttttt? If anybody ever tells me I think too much and that reading and knowledge are overrated I’m going to show them the door immediately. Like, those people would obviously not know me at all. I know what you mean though, people change and while change is good when it’s “growing” (want to throw up as that sounds motivational) it’s weird when you change from one person to a completely different other. I’ve been told by Nick to “grow up” and I’m always like “no! WTF do you mean? Being boring and knitting and shit? That’s never going to be me!”
The last time he told me this actually was in front of Hannibal when I was disintegrating in front of the tv haha so I know where he’s coming from but…fuck I don’t want to stop feeling stuff!! I’m sorry your friend underwent such a transformation, I don’t think I could have handled it. What the fuck is life if not intense? Metro boulot dodo, non merci.

Agreed. You’re good like that, you won’t let others change you. I used to be really weak and totally let what others said, change me. I don’t think you did that as much because you have a bad-ass side to you, I thought I did but it was just my DM’s not actually me and then I got out of the clobber boot phase and went all high heels and I did whatever anyone said really because I just wanted to be liked. It took me way too long to realize that was a pathetic existence. But it happens if you have a family history of not really being liked sometimes doesn’t it? I hope you never grow up, being you suits you and I damn well know it always will. Let’s book a day when we’re 85 to go skating k? (oh and speaking of disintegrating I HEAR YOU because I’ve done that TOO MANY TIMES it’s so funny though! At least we entertain ourselves! And you know N secretly loves it!)

All that crap about not watching TV is just that: crap spouted by pseudo-intellectuals who have no idea about intellect and creativity. There aren’t many tv shows worth watching in my book but they are SOME that are equal to a good book, definitely!

Glad you think so. So many of my friends are like ‘oh I don’t watch TV anymore’ I really feel like saying oh yeah so you are too busy writing Ulysses and going to balls right? mmm I shouldn’t judge but it’s always said quite smugly when they announce they no longer watch TV like an ex-smoker and you know how I feel about that!

Have you ever done that thing where you shop in the kid’s section because you know the 14 year-old t-shirt fits just right? I have a Joshua tree t-shirt that’s a 12 year-old that is perfect on me. Though I’ve put weight on lately so…

You’re smaller than I am. I may be a US 0 or 00 but that’s because US clothes are FAR larger than Fr/UK clothing. I’m basically a Fr 34 not 32 sometimes even 36 depending. People here say I’m small but that’s because they’re all taller and all broader though I have broader shoulders from having danced (and no hips so basically I’m a boy). I used to WISH to be smaller because my mom was and I felt like I was a great big lumbering thing compared to her and her tiny self and I hated my shoulders etc. I did sometimes buy kids stuff but it rode up and exposed my fish-white belly not such an ideal thing to happen. That said, if you put weight on I expect you may not fly away quite as easily but I’m sure they still tie string to your toes. It’s doubtful you will ever be more than a fairy queen my friend. (I did have a REALLY cool Blondie tshirt original from the sixties that was the size of a postage stamp and I didn’t give a fuck and smashed my boobs into it anyway loved that shirt until i tore it in half)

Hahaha I love the idea of you smashing your boobs into it! I can relate to that 😉
Ya, I’m a midget so I should bloody well be tinier than you. You look great though, those FB pics don’t lie! (In your case 😉 )

I used to be into (ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHY) wearing tops that made me look flat-chested, probably because I was dying to be Coco from FAME anyway so for years everyone thought I was flat chested or I had square boobs because I would smash them down (and wonder why they hurt afterward … dur) very different to the usual woman who wears them all hanging out the funny part being the VERY sexy red marks over my skin when I undressed, yeah I really HAD IT GOING ON ba ha ha ha – then I got into La Perla and it was OVER I was totally into the Italian thing, funny how we go through phases. I even had a moon boot phase, okay I totally need to STFU right about now ha ha ha! (photos are easy to manipulate dear one)

Remember when you said you were wearing that and I was wearing mine, what ARE WE LIKE? ha ha ha yeah there are some jean makes that are American that are really good sizes like Zara style, one in particular goes down to size 23 before my operation etc back in the smoking/drinking days I used to fit them but I couldn’t actually tuck my organs in 😉

I was nearly hyperventilating yesterday laughing at myself and what I used to find ‘cool’ and telling a friend about when I was a kid and we’d play Knock Down Ginger (Ding Dang Dodge Em, here) and they asked ‘why do you have to knock ginger down?’ and then they said did you ever do prank calls and I said yeah I used to call and say ‘is your fridge running?’ ‘well you’d better catch it then’ and all sorts of DUMB ASS IDIOCY and I was cracking up because I can’t believe I was that lame and YET it’s not THAT far away 😉 so screw growing up let’s grow into 😉

No, I haven’t seen Vikings yet, but Candice who told me about Stranger Things AND Hannibal told me about that too! Since I’ve loved all her recommendations so far, I’m pretty sure I’ll like Vikings. It’s next on my list. I’m still watching Narcos, which I’ve put on hold for Hannibal. Too little time 😉

Fantastic review of a brilliant show. I hadn’t considered the clothing in that way before, not being into fashion much, but Hannibal’s wardrobe did strike me as immaculate and calculated, just like he is.
It’s so great when you stumble across a character you can relate to so much. Makes the binging even more worthwhile!

Well, it wasn’t exactly a review as such, more like a NEED to express my current obsession 😜😂
Actually, Adam…was going to text you because I’m in the Fiction part of the course and have to write a 2000 words story. Can I send you the draft so you can look it over? It’s not ready yet because I took ages trying to decide which idea to go with (they were all crap)

There are always shows that can bring out the fangirl in me 😉
Thank you! I’ll send you the draft once it’s finished so you can tell me if it stands up. (My ideas WERE all crap) I toyed with the idea of taking a short story I’d already written and “fattening it up” because that would take care of the “good idea” bit but reading them over I realised it would be even harder doing that (because they read just right as they were) than come up with something new. I am so bad at fiction 😦

His is an extraordinary face. The cheekbones, yes! I don’t know why I’ve never tucked into the show myself. I read the books…. Your review certainly makes it even more appealing. And your other commenter regarding Vikings… Eric had recommended it to me a while back and I’ve just recently started watching it. I am sure you would like it!

Those cheekbones! 😍 I’ve been praised for mine many times in my life, but now I’ve been dethroned and I don’t mind handing my crown over, he deserves it!
It really wasn’t a review, Meg…more like an expression of my current obsession 😜 but I think you’d like it.
I’m going to watch Vikings next. Eric told Candice as well who then told me but I haven’t started yet. I love how all those recommendations do the rounds on WP 😜

Lol! Christopher, a pal of mine, is the Costume Designer of this show.
What can I ask him for you when I see him again?
Lol! At least you are obsessed with a fictional character who is portrayed by a real human being.
I’m obsessed with a fictional character from a vid game. FCOL… he’s a cartoon!

Omg, I take it he’s responsible for all the gorgeous things Mads wear? *heart skips a beat*
I’m intrigued now because I have an enduring crush on Solid snake (the white hair version) from Metal Gear Solid. Who’s yours????

OMG!! I have a huge crush on white haired Snake ( with the eye patch)
I’ve got to stop falling for video game characters!
However, the fire beneath my lust is Mr. Akyama, from the game “Yakuza”
I had it so bad, I wrote a book. The book is quite adult, but I believe it’s intriguing, well written & more than an R rated entity.
Of course, it’s hard to find people who are interested in reading something erotic + Chick Lit, so only 5 people have read it.
I sent it to a publisher who was keen on it. They had it for almost 6 months before they rejected it. I still haven’t recovered.
My writing blog, Queen’s end, was started to promote the book, However, since the rejection I have become shy.

I envy Christopher no end! Lol
And yes!! With the eye patch! Oh, you have exquisite taste 😉
You don’t have to stop “anything” – keep being yourself 🙂
I’m sorry your manuscript got rejected 😦 but it shouldn’t keep you from trying!!

This has been in the back of my mind for a bit, although as some illiterate was praising it, I didn’t think it would be that good. Now I take it all back as you have couched it in glowing terms and I am really looking forward to giving it a look now, cheers!

It really is exceedingly good. Visual poetry, as I said. Everything about it is splendid: the writing! Sometimes I pause it to write down what somebody has just said (notes for future inspiration maybe, I don’t know) Do give it a go and I want to hear what you think when you start watching 🙂

I love that you compared this show to poetry and ballet. That is exactly what this series was. Pure art in motion. Many many people just did not get it, so it got cancelled. I enjoyed every freakin second of the show…every aspect. Everything from the creepy music and dreary artful camera shots. Mads made Hannibal lovable and scary as hell at the same time. I was sad to see this one end.

I know I mentioned it on FaceBook, but Mads was also in Valhalla Rising. This was another very artful and poetic movie; even though he did not speak at all. If you ever watch it, shoot me a text and let me know what you think.

Matt, you said it ALL! I agree with every single word of yours here. It WAS art, pure and simple in every way. I will look up that movie, definitely. And, did you hear that they want to pick up the show? They have to wait till July 2017 because the rights are with Amazon but they want to carry on. Plus, there are a lot of people out there who are campaigning to get it back on air—I so hope it happens!

I definitely know the feeling of being obsessed with a ficitonal character. The goblin king from The Hollow Kingdom by Clare B. Dunkle. Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind. Lowell from iZombie.
Some characters are just… so awesome 😀

THIS SHOW. It’s one of the most beautifully shot television shows I’ve ever seen. Bryan Fuller knocked it out of the park with this one. I’m forever going to be bitter that NBC cancelled the show. I’ve rewatched the series 3 times. It still hurts me emotionally EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

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I'm French and I like to write. I'm opinionated, a real bookworm, obsessed with words, interested in Fashion & Style. I don't follow the crowd and I'm drawn towards *unique* people who have things to say. Intelligence is sexy and brains really do it for me.
I'm also a qualified journalist, in possession of the NCTJ diploma from the National Council for the Training of Journalists in the UK.