Wednesday, October 8, 2014

It's that time of year. Dark mornings. Rain. Cold. I'm finding I REALLY don't want to get up in the morning. This can be a tough time of year for those battling with depression because it's just darker and more miserable. Around us, the world starts to look and feel like those feelings we remember and want to avoid. Like a conspiracy to get it all under our skin once more.

Well I'm not playing. Not now.

But man, I'm sleepy. Who do I speak to about not having to get up in the morning? Is there a department that handles this stuff? I form I need to fill out? Just leave me in my bed with the phone and the pizza place on speed dial. Actually no. I don't want to speak to anyone. I'll order food online. Yes, that sounds better.

And then I'll do much sleeping and all will be good, right? Right?

As the mornings and evenings get darker, I hope your mood doesn't match them. Not always easy, I know. But I'm hoping for good things for everyone who stops by here. By the way, a few people have emailed me over the last while looking for help and advice and that's really good. I can't offer much beyond my experiences and some kind words but it feels good that, even when close to dormant, this little blog can help people. Some day I might think about writing a little beginner's guide to depression...

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Thursday, July 31, 2014

This conflict is not new. It was a trigger for me 15 years or more ago. It was bullshit then and it's bullshit now. What used to rub me up the wrong way in a big way was that one side got to be all warmongery and shouty and anyone who didn't want war was expected to debate rationally. Well it's time we peace-loving goody not-into-the-whole-killing-kids-thing people got a bit shouty because the other side long lost the right to justify their bullshit.

On a whole other note, I only just noticed there were comments I had left unpublished. Sorry about that all! Hope you're doing well. I miss you guys - I just so very rarely post now.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

(The full image wouldn't post here in any legible way - it's a long one!)

I have made suggested here before that maybe, just maybe,
depression is in part our own body's (or mind's) rejection of our
situation. Poisoned by our environment, by systems which are alien to
every cell in our body, by ideas and conflicts that we're told keep
our world running and yet create a black pit inside us that grows and
grows. We depressed masses are not sociopaths. As much as we try
consciously to accept the world as humanity has shaped it, our bodies
cannot fully accept it.

I don't know if this is true for you. I do know that the one thing
that cannot be taken for granted about depression is it being the
same for everyone.

And so while my own depression is currently dormant, I can't help
but look around for its causes. The world as it is. And I find myself
wondering: what have we accepted? What have we let happen?

What world have we given to today's youth?

Speaking of which, where are they? Where are you passionate
youngsters? Are you there lurking behind the troll face memes and
Pokemon gifs? The old visible youth presence seems to be gone. Are
there youth subcultures any more?

Online connection is wonderful and it's not like the world was
better when I was young (it wasn't) but the unfortunate side effect is that you
have become marginalised. The world has shafted you and nobody knows
if you give a shit because the Internet is so damn vast that it's all just white noise if it's even slightly outside our own personal 'net sphere. It's too easy to ignore. It all holds such promise and gives us access to so much and all that is cool but, in the process, it is like we shipped kids off to a ghetto we never have to visit.

Speaking for my generation, I apologise for the world we gave you.
If you're reading this and you're young, please consider the message
in the image linked above. Feel free to share it, spread it anywhere, ignore it or do anything you like with it (no credit or link
required). Make yourself known. Get together. Not just online where you can
be ignored. Where you can be seen. Don't allow yourselves to be
marginalised. Don't let the world stomp all over you.