[RESULTS/OPINION] WCW Monday Nitro/WWF Monday Night RAW (11/4)
WCW Monday Nitro: Live.
HOUR ONE: Hosted by Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko.
- Show pretty much starts out showing us Sting up in the cheap seats again.
They also show us The Giant and Ted DiBiase. Sitting in front of Tony
and Larry is the new WCW Ladies Championship belt, which will be awarded
to the winner (Madusa) in a tournament starting tonight. We are also told
that Eric Bischoff won't be here tonight because he's in Portland trying
to sign Roddy Piper. Sound familiar? It's the same thing the WWF just got
done doing with Bret Hart over the last six months. They show a clip of
the Piper/Hogan confrontation at Havoc.
- BRAD ARMSTRONG vs. MARCUS BAGWELL
Bagwell is cheerleadered by his partner and future opponent, Scotty Riggs.
A well fought match which pleased the crowd and completely failed to hold
my interest. Bagwell wins with a crossbody block.
- DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. ICETRAIN (w/ Teddy Long)
Holy shee-it... Nick Patrick's the referee! I'm sick of this crap. The
Outsiders are out amongst the crowd again. Another well fought, crowd
pleasing, stinkeroo of a match with basically the same ending for about
the 10th week straight. DDP covers Icetrain for a pin, but Icetrain kicks
out. DDP flies off and lands on Patrick. "Oy... my back!" Patrick says.
Icetrain powerslams DDP and covers for the pin, but Patrick is too hurt
to get down and deliver a three count in a timely fashion (acccording
to Schiavone. The count looked fine to me, as did the next one.) Icetrain
covers for another pin and again Schiavone claims the perfectly normal
pin count was too slow. Icetrain then throws Page out of the ring. Patrick
goes out to check on him. In come the Outsiders, who clubber on the 'Train
a bit. Patrick misses this. Icetrain pretty much no-sells the attack, but
then falls victim to a Diamond Cutter (the pin count looking exactly like
each of the earlier ones.) Patrick again argues with Long after the match.
- DEAN MALENKO vs. SCOTTY RIGGS
Psychosis looks on for about half a minute. Syxx of the NWO is also in the
crowd. The third straight, technically proficient yet dull as grass
match. Riggs manages to fall from the ropes to the floor. Bagwell, looking
upset because he's so boring that WCW has decided to turn him, throws
Riggs back into the ring. Malenko Oklahoma Rolls him for the pin. Bagwell
and Riggs have words. With any luck, Bagwell will have finished his turn
and started feuding with Riggs by next Labor Day.
- Clips of last week's Benoit/Guerrero match.
- CHRIS BENOIT (w/ Woman) vs. HECTOR GUERRERO
Hector? Ay carumba! Hector's actually not that bad (look back to the 80's,
not his recent ECW performance.) Again, I won't go into much detail except
to acknowledge the fact that both men wrestled well, just that the match
itself did nothing to capture my attention. They show comments from
Sullivan. The only reason this whole thing is even remotely interesting is
because a few of us know that Woman is really married to Kevin Sullivan,
which puts his move to get her into the Dungeon of Doom in a new light.
Other than that, this is old ground that didn't pay off this past summer,
except for that brief brawl in a bathroom (and even that was overrated.)
HOUR TWO: Hosted by Tony Schiavone, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Mike Tenay.
Woman interferes, pulling Hector off of Benoit in a pin attempt. Benoit
then rolls him up from behind for the win.
- They show clips of Jeff Jarrett's win over Ricky Morton last week, along
with comments from The Giant. Mike Tenay then interviews Jarrett, Mongo
and Debra McMichael, and Chris Benoit. Jarret tells of how he's admired
the Horsemen over the years. Benoit says Horsemen problems will be
handled by the Horsemen themselves. Mongo gripes about how Jarrett is
trying to muscle in on the Horsemen's action. I'd like to smack McMichael
in the face myself.
- Lee Marshall allegesdly phones in a report from St. Petersburgh, Florida.
His reports basically consist of him saying "I'm here... you're not!"
- MADUSA vs. REINA JUBUKI
Jubuki is from the Gaea Japan federation, and this is her 1st U.S.
appearance (second overall) since Antonio Inoki's World Wrestling Peace
Festival (you know... the one that about twelve wrestling promotions took
part in and eleven wrestling fans showed up to watch.) Match only lasts a
couple of minutes with Madusa winning via a belly-to-back suplex into a
bridge. Sony Onoo comes to ringside with a ladies wrestler named Zero,
whom I know nothing about. Zero will wrestle Malea Hosaka this weekend.
After she wins, she will face Madusa next week on Nitro. Is there any
doubt that Madusa will win the title (or be the first contender and
quickly beat whoever does win it?) I've complained about how poorly they
set up the Cruiserweight division. They did even less work to establish
this division.
- M. WALLSTREET vs. CHRIS JERICHO
I can't even tell you if this match was any good or not, it was so dull
(I watched it three times and still my mind is a blank.) Jericho small
packages him for the win. Tenay then does an interview nearly identical
to last week's with Nick Patrick, Alan Sharp(e?) Jericho and Teddy Long.
Jericho and Long accuse Patrick of being dirty. The lawyer accuses
Jericho's dad of being a hockey goon, then reminds us that Long was once
suspended when he was a referee. For future reference, these spots are
usually the best times to go make a sandwich (because they last longer
than a commercial break.)
- Clips of the Sting/Luger nonconfrontation last week. Sting does look
really stupid in that makeup, but the coat is nice.
- LEX LUGER vs. BOOKER T. (w/ Sister Sherri)
A rematch of the worst match from last week. Apparently Luger's ego
needed a clean win over Booker. He more or less gets one here, though
Col. Robert Parker comes to ringside long enough to distract Booker T.
Luger rolls him up from behind for the pin. Sherri gives Parker a look
like she's finally realized what a snake he is (though she'd be one to
talk, given that she'd dragged out one of her old slutty outfits to wear.
I bet that thing hadn't seen the light of day since she was Queen Sherri,
consort of the Macho King.) Again, Sting watched from high above.
- Eric Bischoff calls in to say that negotiations with Piper continue.
They then show most of the Piper/Hogan confrontation. This actaully was
about a minute of new footage (Piper's entrace to bagpipe music,) then the
same stuff they showed last week.
- Hogan and the New World Order come out. They show a lengthy, bad clip
from his upcoming film "Santa With Muscles," then he wiggles his ass
around the ring until they have the decency to fade out.
- Next week's main event: None announced.
Comments: An utterly disappointing, boring and depressing installment of
Nitro. Nothing happened! I'll again admit that there was plenty of adequate,
decent wrestling, but it was all so dull! This show looked nearly exactly
like last week's. I'm simultaneously puzzled and disgusted by the lack of
any effort to compete with RAW this week. They did nothing with the first
hour but hype the second, then the payoff during the second was little more
than a replay of the Piper clip from last week. Unbelievable!
WWF Monday Night RAW: Taped 10/17.
Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
- Recap of Steve Austin's rampage last week. Kevin Kelly is at the home of
Brian Pillman outside Cincinnatti (in Walton, KY?) Will Steve Austin show
up like he promised? Also on the show, an interview with Shawn Michaels
and Sid.
- GOLDUST (w/ Marlena) vs. THE STALKER
Both men are accompanied by their Survivor Series teammates. Dok Hendrix
interrupts the match to announce that Austin is on the phone. McMahon asks
if he's on his way to Pillman's house. He is, and has a new proverb from
the Book of Austin: "Austin 25:17... I will strike down upon his ass with
vengeance and furious anger!" Mcmahon tells him that some of Pillman's
friends are there waiting for him. Austin says he has "a six-pack of
whoop-ass riding shotgun!" Lawler says Pillman told him he'd be waiting
with a gun. Austin says Pillman doesn't have the guts.
The Stalker meanwhile is having his hands full with Goldust (Goldust at
one point kisses him.) McMahon refers to the Stalker as "Barry Windham"
roughly half of the time. Finally the temptation is too much for all the
other wrestlers at ringside and a big brawl breaks out. The ref calls it
a double DQ.
- Dok with the Survivor Series report. The Undertaker will face Mankind
again, but this time Paul Bearer will be suspended in a small steel cage.
They show clips from an arena show on the "Big Bang Boom" Tour of an
interview with Mankind, Bearer and the Executioner. The spirit of the
Undertaker is felt (*bong!*) and the small cage appears with a dummy of
Bearer hung upside down inside it.
- Back to the Pillman home.Pillman tells Kevin Kelly that he knows Austin
better than anyone else, that he knows what his fears are. "Steve Austin
is a dead man walking... because when 'Austin 3:16' meets 'Pillman nine
millimeter Glock' [pulls out gun and cocks it] I'm going to blast his ass
straight to HELL!!!" Bedlam ensues as Pillman shiftily looks about for a
target and someone off camera yells "Austin's here!" Cut to commercial.
Upon return from the break, we're treated to another Karate Fighters
match. Sid beats Marlena. Anyway...
Steve Austin is beset upon by two big guys, friends of Pillman. Maybe
they should have had the gun, because Austin brutalizes them. He beats
one with a garbage can, then throws him into the garage door. The other
he dunks into a kiddie pool. One gets his head slammed in a car door.
The other Austin nails with a red wagon (now that had to hurt!) Austin
then seeks entrance into the house, going off around the corner and out
of view.
- THE SULTAN (w/ The Iron Shiek and Mr. Bob Backlund) vs. THE PUG
Who cares!? Go back to Pillman's, dammit! The Sultan wins quickly with the
Camel Clutch.
Back to Pillman's, where he awaits with his 9mm. Everyone begins to yell
when we hear glass break. The camera swings about to show Austin smashing
the window of a side door, then reaching in to unlock it. In he charges.
Pillman takes aim with his pistol and... and... the satellite feed cuts
out! F#@K! Several seconds of dead air follow, then another commercial.
- Jim Ross interviews Sid and Shawn. Shawn says he accepts Sid's explanation
that his elbow byump last week was accidental. But things get a bit
heated, the podium gets knocked over, and the two get nose to nose. Out
comes Jim Cornette and his army. Corny feels Vader should still get the
title shot at Survivor Series. A brawl breaks out. Shawn corners the
British Bulldog, while Sid handles Vader. This leaves Owen Hart free to
nail Sid from behind with a chair. Shawn gets the chair and chases
everyone off. By the time Sid gets turned around, he sees Shawn with the
chair and thinks it was he that nailed him. The ring fills with officials
out to prevent a fight.
- Clips of what happened earlier at Pillman's. They are working to contact
someone at the site and see if anyone was hurt.
- "WILDMAN" MARC MERO (w/ Sable) vs. RAZOR RAMON
Jim Ross comes out to sit in during the match. McMahon contacts Kerwin
Silfies over the phone at the Pillman home. Kerwin is out in the satellite
truck and says that all the power is out to them and the Pillman home.
There may have been shots (which he desribes as "explosions,") and no one
has come out of the house yet. Jim Ross blames McMahon for allowing all
this to happen. McMahon angrily replies "now wait a minute... don't give
me any of that crap... don't get smart... don't get wise." Ross maintains
that it's still all McMahon's fault. Lawler plays the voice of reason and
tries to get everyone to focus on the match.
Mr. Perfect and Hunter Hearst Helmsly come out to watch the match. Helmsly
eventually interferes by pushing Mero off the ropes. Ramon then delivers
the Razor's Edge for the upset win.
Kerwin Silfies is reached a second time and says the authorities have not
yet arrived. There is then some kind of commotion and he is gone. They
again show a bit of what happened earlier, then cut back to a live feed
at the home. Pillman is being restrained by three of his friends. Kevin
Kelly says that no one is hurt, that Austin saw the gun then left. "He's
back!" Someone yells and the group jumps to tackle Austin. "I'll shoot
the sonovabitch!" Yells Pillman. "The sonavabitch will get what he
deserves! He's f#@king with the wrong guy!" The show fades out on a shot
of Pillman's wife on the couch crying.
- Next week's main event: Sid/Shawn vs. Owen/Bulldog.
Comments: Jeezus, what a hot friggin' RAW! I marked out so bad that I
actually considered the possibility that Pillman would be crazy enough to
whip off a few shots.
Bottom line: I had a damn hard time flipping to Nitro during the first hour.
The level of excitement over RAW obviously adds to my disappointment over how
flat Nitro was. It's as if they didn't even try.
This week's winner: RAW.
JRP