The saga of Cherry McSweetbottom – Vol 2

Last week I wrote about an appalling piece of sensationalist journalism by England’s Daily “Hate” Mail. They claimed that they had created a fake profile of a 14-year-old girl and had been approached “within 90 seconds” by a middle aged man intent on performing sex acts.

To test this out myself I created the lovely Cherry McSweetbottom, a 14-year-old ballet dancer from a posh suburb in Birmingham who votes Tory (or will do in 2014 at any rate).

Well, I’m proud to say that after only two weeks of making friends with the dodgiest people on Facebook and hanging out on pages called “I love sex”, Cherry seems to have finally hooked her first bona fide kiddy fiddler. A few other men approached her, but as soon as she confirmed her age all of them backed off.

But finally on the 17th Cherry got a message from what looks to be a proper perve – a man in his late fifties from Huntingdon who – bizarrely – lists his cellphone number on Facebook, and links to his own daughter’s profile to boot. Here is the message in all its glory. <Shudder>

So, the conclusion is that you can get picked up by a weirdo on Facebook, but it takes 14 days and a lot of risky behaviour (including hanging out in sex interest groups and befriending old men) before it actually happens.

I might keep Cherry around for a little longer just to confirm my suspicions, but I’m not sure I can stomach any simulated sex talk with some dude from Huntingdon.