Sunday, July 20, 2008

I got some of the chapters to a book I've been writing into the hands of my friend Dudley who is an author and journalist for the New York Times. He said he would read it and let me know his thoughts. I said, "Only if you tell me the truth". He said, "It is not worth it if I don't." I like that.

Well, I've been eating because of every one's advice. It's kind of odd, I think I feel less... euphoric, and more weighted down, but I think more clearly and seem to be able to make decisions better. my neighbor John has thrown a religious twist into the equation and tells me that I am supposed to look at feeding myself as taking care of the temple of God. I kind of like that sort of thinking. Certainly I would be put off if I walked into the Sistine Chapel and there was clutter, dirty dishes with molding spaghetti sauce stuck to some plates and unfilled papers in stacks everywhere I looked. Temples are supposed to be orderly. But I am trying to deal with this feeling of fullness, which honestly, I do not like.

John also said that the time and energy put into preparing the meal is by design part of the larger picture and one needs to learn to enjoy it. Interesting thoughts, almost a kind of zen thing.

Thanks for all the help, Jack, Pete, Drew, etc. My neighbor John has decided to invite me to eat breakfast at his place each day. I think a combination of the food, the schedule and maybe unseen other things are helping me FEEL better.

I went grocery shopping and bought all canned stuff because I don't have a frig, but at least it is better than not eating. I look at it as a step in the right direction.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

This is Michael. I lost two from this litter to parvo and managed to keep Lillie, Lucy and Mike alive by hourly feedings of mushy dog food that I managed to get into an eye dropper. This was a grueling experience that lasted a few weeks till I was exhausted.

Lillie and Lucy still live in Santiago and Michael came back to the States with me.

"Mike" is 24" by 20", acrylic on canvas and I think I painted him in 2006.

"Solo" was the first of the blue musicians series. I created these in Irene Hubert's basement when I was living with her in Mt. Airy. Salley Ann Jennings has one from this series in her house in Fed Hill, Balt, and Jimmy Judd bought the cover piece for that show.

"Solo", acrylic on canvas, 40" by 40", probably the year 2000 or 2001.

I created these guys in South America. It was the last of a series of blue musicians I did. Actually, this is the first painting I believe that I incorporated shadows, which certainly were a part of my life at that point. I tried to show that the shadows seemed bigger and were lasting longer than the music that existed for me.

"The Three Trumpeter" is about 3" by 2", acrylic on canvas, maybe created in 2003 or 2004.

Psycho series came from the feelings I experienced when my romantic relationship went awry. Closed in, trapped, monochromatic, trapped. I remember this clear disconnect between my emotions and my cerebral, analytical perceptions. My mind tried to tell me one type of message, such as, "This is work out. This too shall pass", etc., while my emotions were just going berserk.

Fascinating how friends will tell you, "Everyone goes through that." but it doesn't seem to help.

There are just a few left from this series, which was painted probably in 2000, acrylic on canvas, about 4" by 3".

About the eating thing, I know I need to change. After eating a REAL breakfast this morning that my neighbor prepared, I felt so ... different. I felt very good. I began to think my behavior was like those who are exposed to lead paint, but I don't qualify.

Now I think if you don't eat for a long time your perceptions change and clarity eludes you. I have been running with my precious dollars to the creditors and not calculating enough for my eating. I need to change that. I really need to change that.

I was taking the trash out of the gallery to the dumpster and a food truck was delivering fresh product to the Wine Market. The guy spilled a bunch of mushrooms out onto the parking lot.

When he left, I picked them up. I called my neighbor and he said, "When I first met you, you were energetic, organized and aggressively reaching your goals. Now you aren't. Maybe you are malnourished." So he invited me up for breakfast and convinced me that I need to eat more often. I brought the mushroom I had found and he made omelets for both of us. That was cool.

To tell you the truth, I do feel better having had breakfast. No we might work out a deal where I help him with doing yard work and stuff at this place as a trade off and he feeds me. Sounds good to me.

I got the idea to was my hair Friday, something I hadn't done in a month or so, I can't really remember. When I went to get the water that I had collected from the roof it smelled weird. So I splurged and opened up the faucet that sticks out of the side of the house. It was cool, I mean the sensation of using the shampoo and conditioner and all. I had kind of forgotten what that was like. Funny how you forget things.

Anyway, the reason I did it was because of the opening at the gallery and I thought, "What if my hair actually smells weird. That would not be good."

Saturday, July 12, 2008

"Self Portrait" This was done several years ago, probably 2000. This one was a lot of fun creating with dots. Actually, it's about seven different paintings that I kept changing as I tried to come up with something I actually was satisfied with. My sister in law Robin says it looks like someone plucked off my head and put it in a bottle. I guess that means my shoulders are not really like that. Thank God.

This painting is about 30" by 24 (maybe) and was done back in 2000 probably, acrylic on canvas.

"Sailors in Paris" This was one of the "Americans in Paris" series from 2007. I had fun getting the items for this one. Got the shorts from a closeted gay guy who stole them from his roommate in the air force whom he had a crush one. How? I went of Craigs list and started asking people for under ware! Ha. I got some very interesting responses.

The watch is from Poland, the pins on the sailors shirt, which you really can't see here, I got while trading things with Russian tourists years ago when Brezhnev was still alive. The sock if Williams, who owns the gallery where I now work. (Hummm? I immortalized him by putting his clothing in the art and he STILL cut my hours. No respect!) The tee shirt Kyle gave me and I think he took it from his lover. He's gay.

The label on the wine bottle is from wine served at Gallery Imperato, where I work.

"Sailors in Paris" is about 4" high and 3" wide, acrylic on canvas but involves mixed media as well, painted in 2007.

"Finale' with Pipers" I created this one while in South America, probably 2004. A woman in Santiago where I showed this painting told me I was "sexually strange". When I asked my friend why he said, "Well, the woman is alone and naked while all the men have a phallic shape in their mouths."

"American Woman" I'll have to check on the year of this one, but it was probably a couple years ago. She's very happy, as you see. Happy to be blond, big and naked. In real life the colors are very different.

This canvas seems to be about 30" by 24", the medium is acrylic. I did this in... ohhhh, say, ... 2006.

This is the first piece I ever bought. It was made in Germany in the 1800's called a "Wedding Shrank". It has a carved wooden ornate piece that attaches to the top but the ceiling down there is to low so I took it off. This might be my favorite piece.

My friend John says I might be less of a starving artist if I would stop painting obese naked women. He asked me, "Who actually wants that on their wall." I said, "I do." He came back with, "Fine, then you buy it."

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Here's me washing my clothes in the sink at work. At the end of the day, these things were still not dry so I needed to decide, either leave the gallery naked or find something to cover myself with at least till I got to the car.

Wireless, which is the other company that the owner of the gallery has, happened to have some monogramed shirt hanging in the closet with that tails that hang down for tucking in. So I was able to get from the gallery to the car without anything 'private' really showing. Ha. It probably looked interesting to the people eating outside at the Wine Market because I had my backpack, some garbage bags with bottles that I was taking home to recycle, some papers I couldn't fit in the pack, and naked legs hanging down from the bottom of that shirt. Ha! Oh yeah, I should say this was a day when the gallery was actually closed so I didn't need to see any people. Was cool working all day there naked.

"Fading Memories" is supposed to tell the story of an unhappy woman who, because of her beauty, is capable of collecting many lovers. Problem is she can't remember what they look like. They leave inanimate objects around, like combs and toothbrushes which remain clear.

I needed her to be cold and distant.

One of my friends said this is a step forward, away from naked and obese, but last night I found myself beginning another painting of a blonde fat woman looking out the window with huge breasts. Maybe digression?

The name of that image with the guy dressing up like a woman is "Traveling Clothes". It was the cover piece for a series I did called, "Americans in Paris". I tried to depict odd behavior that people might ( emphasis on MIGHT here ) do while away from their normal circles. At the hostel where I had the show, it was a hit.

I cracked up the entire time, which was a few months, while I created this painting. I asked the director of the gallery to give me her bra. She said yes. It's probably my favorite one. I went out and bought fake eyelashes to paste on this guy and I was even laughing while I was paying for them over the counter.

Two of my Greek friends, who happen to be female told me this one was sad. I don't see how they find sorrow in this, but, I suppose art touches everyone in a different way???

Here's a problematic place. This water main keeps dripping so if I don't empty this little cavern that gathers the water, it fills up and then spills over. Once it's over the lip it runs down to the center of the room so I have to keep everything up on plastic crates so it doesn't get wet.

Dude,I got your comment. Thanks. But, alas, I am not so sure I am enjoying this life. It just happens to be the case. Actually, the reason I have gone public is to try to get people to help me with comments, instructions, empathy, etc.

Anybody got any advise? I need to decide on taking a job at a halfway house for ex cons. They pay is half what I got at my last place. I found out about it by doing visits at the Harford County Detention Center, particularly to visit people who don't have any family or friends around to visit them.

Can't decide.

They want a one year commitment and the hours are from 4:00pm till 12:00 am.

Followers

Exhibit opening

Links

Carl being groovy

Carl's singing/dance performance

About Me

Been in 40 countries or so, like gardening, can sing, have gallery representation for my paintings...
Now I'm trying to get a life. Not focused at marketing my paintings. A gallery in Boston has some of my stuff but not down here. Need more. Can't seem to focus.
Anybody willing to help with comments or advice drop a line.