Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2007 12:18:18 +0100 (BST)
From: Jezebel
Subject: In Another Life 8
Title: In Another Life.
Author: Jezebel the Temptress
Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com
Disclaimers: This story is fiction and it is not intended to imply anything
about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal
knowledge about their private lives. If you are underage for your area, if
it is illegal for you to view such material or if you are opposed to two
men in a loving situation then this story is not for you either.
***
Part 8
***
Kyle had always feared being taken into care as a child and
when his brother had been born it was a fear that he held for
Jonathan too but as he took in the surroundings of the
Children's centre he realised that it was not so bad. The only
thing that he felt here that would be lacking in other homes
was a sense of loss, all the children here had lost their
parents in one way or another and the horror of that pain was
shown in their eyes. Kyle could see a hint of it in Jonathan's
eyes when the boy reluctantly entered the room.
When Jon saw Kyle he smiled and ran to his brother as if he
had thought he would never see him again, it tugged at
Kyle's heartstrings when he realised that if no one had told
Jonathan he was in hospital he may have thought that Kyle
was dead.
"I knew you would come for me." Jonathan imparted as he
hugged Kyle tightly. Kyle ignored the pain in his ribs
because seeing Jonny again was healing a different hurt
inside him, one he had not even known was there. "I told
Miss Waller that you were coming for me but she didn't
believe me..."
"I didn't come alone." Kyle said, turning his brother so that
he could see Kevin.
Jonathan's small smile grew into a thousand watt grin.
"Daddy!!!" Jonathan screamed as he ran to Kevin and looked
up at him as if he were an idol to be worshiped.
Kevin swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and
knelt down so that he was at the right height to meet
Jonathan's gaze. He tentatively held out his arms and was
rewarded with a lapful of wriggling six year old.
"Kyle said that you would come back for me one day, he
promised..." Jon said softly. "I knew he wasn't lying."
Kyle felt the prickle of tears then and did not deny them. He
had promised Jonathan that night in the Kitchen as he
defended his brother from Gary that if they got out of there
he would find Kevin and make sure he knew about Jon. It
was only at that moment that Kyle realised he had finally
made it happen and made Jonathan's wish come true.
"Did you come to take me home?" Jonathan asked, his voice
weaker now and more uncertain. "I know you're very busy
but can I come home with you? I don't eat a lot and I promise
to be good."
Kevin sniffed slightly, trying to be the strong one of the
group, as he fought the tears.
"You need to stay here one more night while Kyle and I get
things ready for you at home, but I'll be back tomorrow and
then you can come home with me." Kevin said.
"Can I stay with you forever?" Jonathan asked hopefully.
Kevin gave his son a watery smile and tried to think of a half
truth to tell him, when none came he decided for the painful
truth instead.
"I can't guarantee it'll be forever, but I'll promise to make
sure I do everything in my power to keep you with me now
that I've found you." Kevin said.
"You'll do it, Daddy." Jonathan replied earnestly. And Jonny
believed it so hard that Kyle and Kevin couldn't help but
believe that too.
***
***
If Kevin had thought finding his son was difficult walking
away from him and leaving him in the care of strangers was
monumentally so. He could barely move when the social
worker came to take Jonathan for lunch and didn't want to let
the young boy out of his sight.
"I don't wanna go." Jonathan pouted as he dragged his feet.
"I want to stay here with my Daddy."
"Jonathan..." Miss Waller warned as she looked at him. "If
you keep this up then you won't get dessert."
"Jonny, it's okay." Kyle said firmly. "We'll come back
tomorrow morning and then you can come home with us."
"What time tomorrow?" Jonathan asked suspiciously.
"After Breakfast." Kyle replied unwavering, his eyes gently
moving to the social worker to gauge her reaction. "About
10."
Miss Waller nodded and then looked down at Jonathan.
"We're having spaghettios for lunch." She said to her young
charge. Jonathan didn't seem to immediately warm to the
idea of lunch, despite liking anything with tomato sauce, and
Kyle wondered if he was going to have to be firmer.
"It's time to go now." Kyle said to Kevin as he stood up and
turned his back on his brother.
For a brief moment Kevin wondered if Kyle was really that
heartless and then he realised why he was doing this. Kyle
wanted to make it easier for Jon and if they left there and
then the boy would settle back into his routine for the rest of
the day. By prolonging their time there they were only
making things worse.
"You're right." Kevin said with a definite nod. "We'd better
get to the store before it shuts if we're going to be ready for
tomorrow."
The pair of them moved towards the door, not turning back,
neither looking at Jonathan even when he started to yell. It
was only when they stepped outside that Kyle let out the
shuddering breath he had been holding and let the emotions
of the day overtake him.
Kevin moved to Kyle's side and hesitated to hug him.
"Are you okay?" Kevin asked, feeling a little wobbly himself.
It had been hard to leave his son in there but it would have
been harder still if he had made a scene.
"Yeah." Kyle said softly. "I just never thought he would end
up in one of those places, I tried really hard for him but I
wonder if that was enough."
"Don't think about that now." Kevin answered, not wanting
Kyle to wallow in the self-pity that threatened to overwhelm
them both. "You said to Jonathan that we needed to sort
some things out for his homecoming tomorrow and maybe
we should focus on that."
Kyle nodded but didn't respond immediately so Kevin spoke
again to fill the silence.
"You'll have to help me a little over the next couple of days,
I'm not exactly sure what I need to do in order to prepare for
a six year old in my house, I'm hoping that you do."
"Well, there are a few things..." Kyle said, and began to reel
off a list of do's and don'ts for child rearing, some of which
were things Kevin had already prepared but others were
things he had never thought of. By the time they hit the
grocery store Kevin was already wondering if he would cope
without Kyle there to support him, he hoped that he would
never have to find out.
Kyle allowed Kevin to push the shopping cart when the
reached the store, on account of his bad hand, but his eyes
widened when he saw what Kevin was putting in there.
Usually they only ate simple food at home, things that Kyle
could cook on a limited budget and that Jonathan would eat.
He wasn't sure that his brother would take very well to Sirloin
Steaks and marinaded rack of lamb.
"Maybe you should let me organize Jonny's food." Kyle said.
Kevin looked into the trolley and realised that he was
casually doing his usual shop without any consideration of
what his son and Kyle may or may not eat.
"What do you suggest?" Kevin asked, he remembered Aaron
Carter when he was a little younger liking McDonalds but he
couldn't recall much more than that. Surely Jon would eat
more than burgers every night.
"Well, you can start with chicken nuggets and fries, maybe
some mini pizzas and Kraft dinners." Kyle said. "Maybe
throw in some potato chips and baloney for sandwiches too.
I'm guessing that you have the makings for PB and J at
home."
Kevin thought for a moment and then picked out Peanut
Butter and Grape Jelly to add to the cart.
"Doesn't Jon eat anything...normal?" He asked, frowning as
he did so.
Kyle laughed at that and cracked his first true smile of the
day.
"Kev, he's six years old. That is normal for him." Kyle
replied. "He'll sit down and eat almost anything that you put
in front of him because he's polite but these are the things
that I know he will eat and like. Don't worry, he does eat
veggies and stuff as well. Eventually you'll get used to either
eating what he does or cooking twice, once for you and once
for him."
"Is that what you did?" Kevin asked.
Kyle's face fell and for a moment Kevin wondered if he had
asked the wrong thing.
"Usually we would eat together, just me and Jonny." Kyle
answered. 'Sometimes I wouldn't eat at all' he added silently.
Those days were over now though and it didn't matter, Jonny
had Kevin now and that was all that mattered. Hopefully
neither of them would ever go hungry again.
"I guess Veal cutlets are out for a while then?" Kevin asked.
"Eew..." Kyle replied, "even I wouldn't eat those."
Kevin nodded, making a note to rethink his cooking plans for
that evening, there was an awful lot that he still needed to
learn.
"I guess we should pay for this." Kevin said as he looked at
the half empty cart. "We still need to make a couple more
stops, I was thinking the toy store next and maybe a few
clothing stores afterwards, if you know Jon's sizes. I figure
Jon'll want some stuff until the police have sorted out the
apartment."
"Do you know when that might be?" Kyle asked, his face
carefully schooled and emotionless. Kyle knew that they had
to go through the apartment and sort out his mother's
belongings as well as retrieving his own things but it was not
a job he would relish.
"They hope early next week." Kevin said. Kyle nodded but
didn't say anything else. "I'll go with you to sort it out."
Kevin promised.
"No." Kyle said quickly. "You'll have to watch Jonny while I
do it. He's not going back there again."
Kevin thought it through for a moment before agreeing. He
would have to ask someone else to go with Kyle because he
didn't want the younger man going back their alone either. It
was not the kind of place that either of them should have to
revisit but there were probably things there that they needed.
Worrying about that could wait for another time though, they
had a few more calls to make that day and then a big day the
next day.
***
When they arrived back at Kevin's house a few hours later
there were dozens of bags in the trunk of Kevin's Escalade.
It almost made having the large car worthwhile if he would
regularly carry that much shopping.
After buying groceries Kevin had stopped at the mall to stock
up on clothes and toys for his new son stopping only when
Kyle managed to persuade him that Jonathan could go
without a lot of the treats that Kevin wanted to buy and that
too many new things would overwhelm him. Kyle had also
talked Kevin out of a few expensive choices in preference to
the cheaper options in clothing rationalising it by saying that
Jon would grow out of expensive things before they got
there wear or ruin them with paint or mud. Kevin may have
the money to afford these things but there was no use
throwing good money away on clothes that Jon would never
wear.
Kyle was surprised to see a number of cars in Kevin's
sweeping driveway as they approached the house, his host
had not mentioned guests and Kyle didn't think that he was
in any fit state to receive them. He supposed that it would be
something he would have to get used to while he stayed with
the other man though.
"The guys must be here." Kevin said as he opened the car
and began unloading bags. "Why don't you go and knock
and get them to help with these." He continued, his gaze
falling on Kyle's broken hand.
Kyle knew pity when he saw it but his hand was hurting a
little where he had overused it already and he realised that it
would be better to utilise the help if it was there. He used his
borrowed keys to open the door and stepped into the family
room, coming face to face with four concerned faces.
"You think you could give us a hand with these bags?" Kyle
asked, directing the question to Alex because he thought this
was the only one that would respond. He was surprised
when Nick and Brian headed straight to the door until he
realised that they were probably getting away from him.
Instead of going around him and outside, AJ headed straight
towards him and relieved Kyle of the bags that he was
already carrying before following him into the Kitchen. AJ
paused only to place the bags on the counter top before
speaking.
"How did it go?" He asked, voice laced with concern.
"Kevin got custody." Kyle replied.
"And how are you?" Alex clarified, wanting to know how Kyle
was doing with all of this. He felt a little guilty that Kevin had
been an afterthought but Kev had a whole family around him
for support, Alex had to ask himself who was there for Kyle.
"I hope that the judge wasn't too hard on you."
Kyle shrugged.
"It was okay." He admitted. "I'm just glad that Jonathan is
coming home."
"Where is the little tyke?" AJ asked. He had not seen a child
in the car and assumed that if they had him with them that
Kevin would have forgotten the shopping and brought the
kid back straight away. "I didn't see him outside."
"Kevin is going to pick him up tomorrow." Kyle replied.
"There were a few last minute things that Social Services had
to sort out before they would allow him home. Kevin and I
decided that there was a few things that we would need to do
before he came home too so we stopped off and picked up a
few things for Jonny."
"Did you get anything?" AJ asked Kyle. He had seen the
boy's closet when he put the rest of his clothes away that
morning and realised how little Kyle actually owned. He
knew that they had yet to sort out the apartment that he had
shared with his Mom but for a nineteen year old who had
been working full time he had very little to show for it.
"I don't need anything." Kyle replied. "With Jon coming
home I have everything I need..."
AJ didn't think for one minute that this was true but allowed
Kyle that because it was what Kyle believed. He made a
promise to himself that he would make Kyle see that there
was a lot more in the world on offer and that it was his for the
taking. The kid was far too young to be so philosophical
about life.
"I guess that we should go and help with the rest of the
bags." Alex said, turning towards the door in time to see Nick
struggle in with two large grocery bags which he placed next
to those that Kyle had bought in.
"Too late." Nick replied with a small smile as he searched
through the bags and found a packet of chips. "We've
already done it." He pulled the bag open and pulled out a
handful of chips without offering them around.
"Kevin let you buy chips?" AJ asked, a look of wonder on his
face. "Mr. Body Beautiful doesn't usually let junk food
anywhere near his Kitchen let alone buy it himself."
"I know." Nick said, between mouthfuls of potato chips. "He
said that they were for the kid..."
"Jon likes chips." Kyle said with a shrug.
"I like this kid already." Nick replied, swallowing his latest
mouthful and putting the bag on the counter top while he
took a breather.
Kyle hoped that the rest of them shared that sentiment
because the last thing that Jonathan needed was to move
into another situation filled with confrontation and regret.
***
***
What had started out as a show of support from the rest of
the band turned into an impromptu party to celebrate Kevin's
success. Kyle would have rather gone back to bed after the
trials of the day but knew it was polite to stay up and talk to
Kevin's guests, after all, he was little more than a guest
himself. Instead of grumbling over having to mix with the
boys Kyle took it as a chance to get to know them a little
better and see how they interacted as a group. He had
gotten to know Kevin and Alex quite well over the last weeks
from their frequent visits but the other three were still
something of a mystery to him.
Nick, who was closest to Kyle in age, had spent a lot of his
time running errands or being with his own family while
Kevin was at his bedside and had stopped by only to lend his
support to Kevin. Nick was clearly loyal to all of his brothers
and though he was a little wary of Kyle he had been nothing
but civil so far. Nick seemed the kind of easy-going person
that would get along with anyone and Kyle thought that with
a little time the pair of them could probably grow to be more
than acquaintances, they may even wind up as friends.
Howie remained the quietest and calmest of the group. He
had been the one that conversed at length with doctors in
order to understand what Kyle was going through and was
the one that explained to Kevin what was going on. He had
some experience with loss himself and while that prepared
him for the worst it also equipped him with the level head to
know when Kyle was through the lowest point. He had
conveyed much of this to Kevin and also to Kyle during his
brief visits to the hospital and throughout the whole thing
had remained kind, if somewhat aloof. Kyle wasn't sure that
Howie would ever warm to him in the way that Alex easily
had or Nick could but he knew that there was no beef
between them and that was likely to remain.
Brian was the only one that treated him with outright hostility
and mistrust but it was also Brian that Kyle had to thank for
telling Kevin about Jonathan. While Brian had not done it in
the best of ways he had hired an investigator to locate his
brother and had helped the most in bringing Jonny back to
them. Brian might dislike Kyle, hate him even, but he was
not about to take that out on his brother and Kyle had to
respect that. He could see how much Brian loved his cousin
and how protective he was of him and Kyle hoped that with
time he would be able to prove to Brian that he was worthy of
Kevin's friendship too. He had a feeling that Brian would be
the toughest of the group to get through to, they may never
speak civilly to each other, but as long as he respected Jon's
place in Kevin's life then Kyle would deal with it.
Kyle didn't really care what they all thought of him as long as
they grew to love his brother. Jonathan was all that mattered
now and Kyle was going to see that he found a place
amongst the Backstreet Family even if he himself was never
accepted.
AJ, who had been watching Kyle all evening, made his way
over to take the seat next to him because he was worried that
seeing all of the group together was a little overwhelming for
his new friend.
"Don't worry." He told Kyle softly. "We're not as bad as we
seem once you get to know us all. I know it has been a while
since you were around the group and that things have taken
off a bit since then, but we're all the same people."
"I know." Kyle replied. "I'm just thinking about Jon." It
wasn't the complete truth but Kyle was not quite ready to
share his true feelings about the band with Alex.
"He'll be fine." AJ answered. "We'll keep things low key for a
while, not overwhelming him too much the first few days..."
"Thanks." Kyle said with a small smile. He hoped that Jon
wouldn't be too bewildered by the other men. For a long time
it had been just the three of them, Jon, Kyle and his Mom,
now there was suddenly an extended family as well. He
hoped that Jon didn't have too much of a problem adapting
to it because Kyle had a feeling they came as a package deal.
He guessed it was only a matter of time before they found
out.
***
***
The Children's Centre was just as Kyle remembered, not that
he had expected it to change overnight but he thought that
the emotions of the day before may have made him paint a
bleaker picture than it actually was. Instead he realised that
the place was still as clinical as he had first thought and that
the children were still not smiling in their eyes. He was glad
that they were going to get Jonathan out of there today and
he made a silent promise to himself and God that he would
not let his little brother go back there.
"You okay?" Kevin asked as he looked over at Kyle. The
young man nodded but did not speak because he did not
want to give too much away. There was a tension between
them that had not been there the day before and Kyle put it
down to Brian's presence.
Kevin's cousin had wanted to go with them to collect Jon and
Kyle had not spoken up to stop him. Brian had talked about
a united front and making sure that Jon was surrounded by
his family at times like this and Kyle didn't want to argue.
Just because he did not include Brian in his family it did not
mean that Jon would not too. Besides, Kevin loved his
cousin and that meant the blonde man would be a part of
Jon's life, he might as well get used to Brian now.
They were met in the foyer by the same woman that had
dragged Jon off the day before. Kyle recognised her as a
social worker almost immediately, he had dealt with her type
in the past and wondered whether or not she would be the
one that would deal with them while Jon was settled in at
Kevin's house. There would be a period of transition during
which time Kevin would be monitored as a parent and Kyle
wondered if she was the person who would be doing the
monitoring.
"Mr. Richardson?" She asked, looking directly towards
Kevin. She must know who he was, every woman under the
age of forty knew who the Backstreet Boys were, didn't they?
"Miss Waller." Replied holding out his hand. "It's good to
meet you under better circumstances." Kevin said. "I
assume that Jon is inside."
"He wanted to come out and meet you but we prefer to do
these things in the family room." She said. "If you would like
to come with me..." She went inside the building and
expected them to follow. Kyle hesitated only a moment
before following, he had thought for a moment that they
should let Kevin go in alone but then Brian had trailed
behind. Kyle was not going to leave Jon alone with two
strangers.
'Family Room' was obviously a code word for counselling
area because of the soft chairs and furnishing that
surrounded them. Kyle took in the large overstuffed chairs
and bean bags and then saw his brother seated in one corner
with a discarded book in his lap.
Jon looked more withdrawn than the day before but his face
lit up when he saw Kevin, he stood and moved towards his
father only to stop when he saw Brian. His face turned from
one of excitement to one of dismay.
"Are you going to say hello to Kevin?" Kyle asked, anxious
that Jon was not as pleased to see them as he was the
previous day. "Or me?"
"No!" Jon said, turning his back and retreating to the comfort
of his corner.
Kevin remained near the door, making no move to go
towards his son but Kyle did not have that kind of patience.
He stepped forwards and reached for his brother, his
concern changing to alarm when Jon shrugged away.
"Jonny?" Kyle asked. "What's wrong? Don't you want to
come home with us today?"
"I don't want to go with *him*." Jon answered.
"Jonny, Kevin is your daddy." Kyle said softly. "You
remember, I told you..."
"Mr. Richardson, I really think..." Miss Waller began.
"Not Daddy." Jon said sternly. "I love Daddy."
"Who then?" Kyle asked. "Me?" He was shocked. He had
not thought that his brother would blame him for what had
happened but maybe he did. Kyle had failed to protect his
mother the day she died and had blamed himself, perhaps
Jon blamed him too.
"Brian. I don't want to go with Brian." Jon answered. "He's
mean and he didn't like us. I don't like him either."
"But you like me and Daddy, right?" Kyle asked softly.
Jon turned at that, looking at his brother and giving him a
watery smile. Kyle hadn't thought before then that his
brother was crying but he could see that he had been
fighting the tears. Kyle held his arms out and was rewarded
with a hug.
"Go and give Daddy a hug too." Kyle prompted after he put
his brother back down. "Ask him about his house."
"Will you make Brian go away?" Jon asked, warily eyeing the
blonde man that stood near the door. It was the first time
that Kyle had noticed Brian and he realised that Kevin's
cousin was suddenly unable to make eye-contact with him.
The pair of them had had very little to do with each other
since Kyle had re-entered Kevin's life but now it appeared
that they would need to at least talk.
"You stay with Daddy." Kyle said. "I'll just be outside."
Kyle didn't want to tell his brother that he was going to get
rid of Brian because in the long term they needed to learn to
live with each other but he would try and get Brian to back
off at least until Jon was settled. Kyle was not going to ask
the favour for himself because he doubted that it would be
granted, instead he would ask for it on Jon's behalf. He
thought that perhaps Brian might do it for Jon.
He was glad that he did not need to ask Brian to follow him
but that the man followed automatically. It seemed that Kyle
was not the only one with something to say.
"He was with you wasn't he?" Brian asked as they stepped
outside. "That day, at the signing. Jon was with you."
"He wanted to meet his father." Kyle replied with a shrug.
"That's the reason that we were there in the first place."
"And you didn't think to say anything?" Brian asked.
"You hardly gave me the chance." Kyle retorted angrily. If he
had seen Kevin that day instead of Brian then he could have
gotten Jon out of the situation sooner, or at least have given
Gary less of an excuse to hurt them and his mother might
still be alive. He knew that it was wishful thinking but they
would never know if it would have made a difference.
"I'm sorry." Kyle said a moment later. "I shouldn't have said
that."
"But it's true." Brian responded. "And now Jon hates me."
"He doesn't hate you." Kyle replied. "He doesn't even know
you. At Jonny's age you can go from being his best friend to
being his worst enemy and back again within the space of a
few days. If you bought him a candy bar he would probably
forgive you."
Brian tried to smile.
"Yeah?" He asked.
"Probably." Kyle answered. "But, this is a hard time for
Jonny. It's going to take a while for him to adjust and..."
"I'll keep my distance." Brian interrupted. He wanted to be
with his family but he didn't want to cause Jonathan any
further heartache. There would be a time to get to know his
cousin's son soon but now was not that time. Brian had
enough to feel guilty about without making the current
situation worse. "At least for the next day or so. Maybe I'll
stop by with some candy in a few days."
Kyle nodded. It was easier than he thought it would have
been. Maybe he had misjudged Brian a little.
"Thanks." Kyle said as Brian turned to leave.
"Tell Kevin that I'll call him tonight." Brian said as a parting
comment. Kyle waved him off and then made his way back
into the family room, he paused when he saw the tableau of
father and son in a tight embrace.
"You ready to go home, sport?" Kevin asked Jon when they
finally parted.
"Okay." Jon said, smiling down at Kyle when Kevin stood
and carried him out of the door.
"We'll talk when we get back home." Kevin said as he passed
Kyle. His guarded expression told Kyle nothing about
Kevin's frame of mind, but he hoped for Jon's sake that it
was not hostility which Kevin was hiding.
Jon was coming home now and Kyle needed to focus on
that.
Everything else could wait.
***
TBC