Thursday, March 18, 2010

Laying low...kind of

It's Tasha and Kevin - trying our best to be Ryan, so bear with us!

Ryan has had lots of ups over the past 2 weeks. 2 flames games....one with the Crowes and Talyn and one with Kev, Don and Robb. The one with the little boys was entertaining and Talyn's first game. I was worried that he asked me "momma, I wonder if they have a play place" within the first few minutes. But then he settled in. The second game the boys were sitting right behind the Flames Docs - talk about amazing seats. The flames didn't fare as well, but they had a great time anyhow.

The other big up was the first printing of his book! On Tuesday night he was presented with the first 2 proof copies of his book - Stop, Drop and Smile. Many thanks again to everyone who helped make this happen. We are now working on the printing of the first 200 copies and how we will distribute them.

The downs. A fall happened on the day we were going to the flames game. Ryan's legs buckled while going to his closet and he hit his knee and head. His head left a good dent in the hospice wall but in typical Ryan spirit he would not be deterred from going to the Flames game. Ryan now needs someone with him whenever he gets out of bed to ensure safety

The next down are headaches. Bad headaches have begun. They are in the back of the neck and head and Ryan describes the pain as a 10. The doctors have given him Tylenol, and morphine bringing the pain down to a 4 -5. This has left Ryan very tired and sleepy and he is spending most hours asleep with brief periods of time awake for conversing and eating. Although most of his appetite has dissipated.

The best help you can provide right now are: positive thoughts posted on his blog, and your continued thoughts and prayers for minimizing his pain.

17 comments:

Know that energy can never be destroyed. It's form and shape will change but the presence of the energy will never leave. In the glint of sparkling sunshine, the caress of the warm, gentle breeze and in the laughter and fellowship of friends and family, energy is there.So be at peace and be held by the tender thoughts of so many people who you have touched and made richer in their journey.With thoughts and prayers,Jim & Donna

Even though we haven't seen each other in the (gulp) 24 years since elementary school, since rediscovering you through your blog, I now think of you and your family daily. Your strength and courage are amazing! Keep smiling and make sure to let us know how we can get one of your books!

Grant and I think of you so very often. We sure miss being in Calgary where we could just pop in and see you. Know that you are in our hearts and prayers. We would be grateful if you could set aside a copy of Stop, Drop and Smile for us. I have printed out your blog, Ryan and on the days you don’t post new blogs I reread the older ones. So very inspiring. Words for us to live by.

My heart wants to say things that are not conventional...and I can only trust that you will read them and understand my words in a way that will be helpful, affirming or at least thought provoking.These imperfect words are offered with love and good intention.

I don't know about what your experience has been like for you but while being sick, I find that I can get so busy working hard to be strong for everyone, to be inspiring to everyone, to be nice to everyone, that I can not even notice how tired I have gotten.

Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for my family, good friends, beautiful experiences...all of things that cause me to fight...the important causes to fight for, life itself....

I even give thanks for my suffering since it is so often what gives me, as a human being, my greatest meaning in life.

However, amidst all that, is also the haunting truth of my mortality...At the core of being human is the tragic and yet poignant truth that our life in this body will end.

Could it be that possibly one of our most heroic battles in life is to have the strength/courage to admit when we are too tired to 'fight' and need to surrender to our own spirit- the infinite spark deep within- and admit that its no longer time to resist.

Whatever you are feeling today- weak, strong, inspired, bitter, angry, happy...its heroic and beautiful to those who love you.

You are going home....to thethe most beautiful and peaceful home you can imagine...and I bet you know this in your bones.

All of us who love you,we will never want to let you go...How can we learn to let you go when the world needs people like you so much? We need YOU so much...

The truth is that we will never be ready to let you go....because you are who you are.

But, here is where I will dare to say what might be unimaginable to many...

I believe that at this point in your journey it may not really matter any more what we (the world, your loved ones) want or need.

Its your time Ryan.

You have given SO MUCH MORE to this world, and the people in it, than so many others combined.

If you feel like its time to let us go and let this experience of your body be over....let it be so.

Tasha will always be strong, thanks to your love.Talyn will always be strong, thanks to your love.

Love never dies.

Maybe its true that we are not physical beings learning to be spiritual but rather, we are spiritual beings living in physical bodies?If it is true, then I hope, that whenever you are ready- whenever your time comes- whenever the light appears, that you will go towards it and let your spirit fly home...

I don't believe that you will ever die...not really...you will be held in the hearts and minds of those who love you, those who are changed by you or have been touched by you in some way, those who wish they could have known you, those who do not even know of you yet but will be touched by your story or by people who were touched by you....

Your legacy will endure and spark more love, more greatness in this world.

Thank you for teaching us how to live more fully through your example.Thank you for your immense sacrifice.

I will never forget you-your story,your journey, your act of living with such intensity, and your example of dying with such courageous and fierce resistance, dignity, spirit and vigor!

Thank you for forgiving me for my imperfect words.

Thank you for listening.

And most of all, thank you for the generous gift and teaching of inspiration you and your life has blessed us with...

Hi Ry..Tash and Talyn..we love you all and please find strength and peace today and the days to come. The last post written by anonymous really said it all....perfectly written in every sense. We LOVE you and always will...your spirit is already alive in all of us.Bear hugs,Jill, Brendan and the kids xoxoxx

Dear Ryan,You have no idea how often you inspire us in the course of an ordinary day. We "stop, drop and smile" at every turn because you recognize the gift that is LIFE and you relish it with such gusto.

The title of your book is perfect and we look forward to savoring all your reminders of love, courage and happiness.

We are traveling right now but our "candle of hope" for you is burning deep within our hearts, Ryan. Above all, we wish you love all around you and freedom from pain at this point on your path.Sincere well-wishesLouise and David

You make me want to be better everyday. I also read your wife's blog, what an inspiring amazing woman. I do not know either of you, but you both make me cherish the life I have more then I already did. Stop,drop and smile, I cannot wait to read your book. You make me look at all the small stuff and enjoy it even more then I already did. Keep fighting and know how many lives you have touched. What an amazing thing you have done here on earth and what an impact you have made on so many people. I have never meet you but you touch my heart like no other, make me want to be a better person everyday and I'am more thankful then I every could be for all the small stuff. THank you for being so wonderful and for opening my eye's. Your strength and courage amaze me. Your are one of a kind. Keep on keepin on.

I have never met you...but have followed your blog for some time. Your strength, courage, and grace inspire me every day. You are a beautiful soul and I will continue to hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Much love and light to you all...