Saturday, September 23, 2006

recovering as always :)

I won't know anything for a few days about my tests except how incredible sore I am. When you have bone taps and spine taps regularily it doesn't seem as rough but when you have been away awhile it hurts. It made me think about my life. I mean how much it hurts when you let something build and build and only take care of it when there is an emergency or a requirement and the rest the time I tend to just "get by". Then the hurts or struggles build up or something major happens and I realize I wasn't dealing with things at the time they needed to be, and guess what they don't go away and sometimes they even become worse.

As my husband prepares to move until the kids and I are ready to go in a couple years I pray we don't let things build but instead we work through them if anything should arise. He leaves either tommorrow night or Monday morning so for tonight I will go watch the college teams we love as a family and cheer them on as we cuddle on the couch.

As for my health I am not scared I know God is in control and sometimes until the lesson is truly learned we walk in circles. If I am sick it is circle I am walking and if I am still well it is a circle of faith I am walking in. I am not strong enough to cope with this, but I know through God's incredible love and grace no matter what me and my family will be alright. Especially if we are focusing on him and not the fear or the disease.