Taylor Hicks, the gray-haired spaz who is almost but not quite forgotten as a past winner of “American Idol,” was scheduled to perform on the worst cruise of all time, but federal officials made a huge drug raid on the boat while it was still docked.

The Jam Cruise, an annual six-day festival aboard the 2,550-passenger MSC Poesia, is one of several similarly themed cruises that promise a Bonnaroo-on-the-ocean kind of experience [but with worse music -Ed.]. This year, it showcased performances by the Grateful Dead’s Bob Weir, Robert Randolph, Galactic, Taylor Hicks of ‘American Idol’ fame and funk saxophonist Maceo Parker.

But before any musician picked up an instrument, the ship, docked in Florida and headed for the western Caribbean, was raided by multiple federal agencies and the local sheriff’s department, the Orlando Sun reports. The Jan. 4 raid turned up 15 seizures of illegal drugs, including Ecstasy, LSD, mushrooms and marijuana. The drugs were mostly discovered in small quantities, according to a US Customs and Border Protection spokesperson. [Spinner via The Frisky]

Ha ha, suck it, hippies! The only way this could have been better is if the ship sank and all the hippies drowned. I mean, it would be too bad about Robert Randolph, I guess. And the crew. But sacrifices have to be made for the betterment of our planet.

I don’t know about you, but I for one would feel a lot safer if LD was the lifeguard around my pool as well.

01.12.11 at 2:42 pm

MenaceIISobriety

Maceo, wontcha bring blow?

01.12.11 at 3:41 pm

D

Hippies are like political correctness – while annoying, people that constantly cry about them/it are, oddly enough, even more tedious.

01.12.11 at 6:57 pm

osos9

Great cruise. Many of the best musicians in the country. Including the Nevilles, Robert Randolph , Big Sams Funky Nation, Cat from Japan, Maceo, the list was a mile long. Many special guests including Hicks who was great. Just about the only one from idol who could hang with these guys. And since hes the one mentioned most in the articles apparently hes remembered.

What kind of music do you listen to, Bieber? Swift? haha

01.12.11 at 7:36 pm

waltersobchek

Otto is probably gonna say that this is BS, let people have their DRUGS! But don’t give them guns!

01.12.11 at 8:32 pm

dachshund

The only boat cruise that would get busted faster is the one featuring Phish and the remaining Greatful Dead members as the musical acts…they both suck btw…oh, or Lil Wayne on a boat docked next to a gun store that was closed