The home improvement project continues, and the turkey coop is looking better and better. Today, the painters are pressure washing the entire house in preparation for painting it in the almighty community approved colors, so the aroma of chlorine bleach pervades the nostrils.

On Saturday, the gutters and downspouts were installed. Unfortunately, I needed to be elsewhere due to a long standing commitment, so I could only do a brief walk-around with the gutter guy.

When I returned, I checked out the job and noted that some deviation from the original gutter/downspout design. I had two particular areas of concern: the front door and the side of the house where great torrents of water flow during our Florida toad-floaters. I had to wait for one of those cloudbursts to validate the design.

Yesterday evening, Mother Nature supplied the needed validation. The good news was that the front door was high and dry. The bad news was that the side of the house I was concerned about was not properly served by the rain removal system. That a fancy way of saying the gutter ain’t working.

The gutter on that side used to have three downspouts, one at each end and one in the middle. The one at the right end was not installed by the gutter guy, who I’ll call Juan, because that’s his name. When I did the walk around, however, I had given him freedom of expression, assuming that he knew what he was doing. I’m sure he does, but in this case, there was a problem.

During yesterday’s frog-floater, Artificially Sweetened and I checked out the areas of concern. She certified the front door as “no prooooooblem”. However, she noted that on the side of the house, water was gushing over the gutter at the point of the central downspout. Clearly, there was too much water for one downspout, and, furthermore, the pitch of the roof caused the torrents to overshoot the gutter.

I believe that the remedies should be to install the missing downspout and a piece of sheet metal to divert the flow of water off the roof into the gutter. That’s my non-professional opinion. I’ll see what the contractor figures out. Whatever it is, it just has to work. (It would be nice if it could be used to generate electricity, too, but I have a feeling that’s not in the cards.)

Back to the painting, the painter told me he didn’t know how long it would take because of some more impending rain and stuff. I’m certain that the job will extend into next week. They’re going to do it in sections, and there’ll be two coats on everything — including the white gutters and downspouts, which will become brown. Yeah, community approved trim color.

I’ll be back with more for anyone who is interested in following the course of this project. This ongoing commentary also serves as journal so I can remember what went on here.

Like this:

There is peace in the valley. The siding construction crew is heading off to parts unknown and uncared about. My final inspection has revealed that my putting up with pounding and vibrating walls for three weeks was not for naught. The work is professional and beautiful.

This morning, when I took the garbage out I told the guys that I’d miss their pretty faces around here. One of them retorted, “We’ll miss your pretty face in the morning, too.” So, the feeling is clearly mutual. So is the sarcasm. But let that not cloud the fact that they did great work.

I hate change orders. There were none. Never know what you’ll find when you tear off 35 year-old siding. I guess it did its job well, but it wouldn’t have lasted much longer. In any case, I dodged a bullet here. No change orders is a good thing.

Coon on Da Roof

Coon on da roof.

The window guy arrived early to replace the pane that the siding guys broke. When I met him out front, he pointed out something that he said was a first for him: a raccoon sleeping on my roof (see picture). That’s an all-time first for me, too. I have heard the pitter-patter of feet on the roof from time to time, but didn’t think about the possibility of raccoons. I’ve got to wonder why this one decided that a shady part of my roof was a hospitable spot for a daytime snooze, given all the racket going on around here.

Other than raccoon crap on the roof, what are the perils of having a pet raccoon that acts like a cat?

Roof Rats

This reminded me of Rhoda, the condo commando in a condo where I lived many years ago. Rhoda was an old yenta who needed to stick her nose into everyone else’s business. (I guess that’s redundant.) She was complaining about rodents at an association meeting where I was privileged to serve as treasurer.

“We have roof rats and we have ground rats, and we have mice, which are the babies of both,” droned Rhoda from the audience.

“Excuse me, Rhoda, but mice are not baby rats,” I stated.

“Yeah, well, WHAT ARE THEY THEN!?!?!?” she belligerently countered, making a complete fool of herself.

I added an anticlimactic retort and moved on to another subject.

But I Digress…

When the workers first arrived, the foremen apprised me that there was a family of opossumusses (better known as ‘possums) living behind my back porch. Yesterday he pointed out to me where he had originally found them, but they apparently had the sense to find a better location to get some daytime sleep. They had packed their bags and moved on. Raccoons, in general, are smarter than ‘possums — hell, most rocks are smarter than ‘possums — but in this case, either the ‘coon is deaf, found some earplugs, or is a pet of the construction guys.

The only other wildlife they encountered was a scorpion hiding in some of the wood trim. I hope they didn’t find out about him the hard way.

Back to Semi-Normalcy

Ahhh, finally some peace and quiet around here. Lord, what a tri-week it has been, especially the part where I get up at 6:30 every morning. (I know you working people do that every day, but this retired old fart is used to a little more civility in the morning.)

The contract has a couple more phases now that the siding is done. First, the gutters and downspouts will be replaced. That is to take place tomorrow. Then, the entire house will get two coats of paint (except for the brick part), the job to commence late next week.

Replacing the 20 year-old roof will be the next project, but I’ll contract that sometime in the future. I’ll have to recover from this job first and we’re approaching the rainy, hot summer here, which is not a great time to do roofing, if one has the option to avoid it.

Like this:

They’re still at it, now just outside my second-floor window. To the accompaniment of pounding and wall vibration I shall write a terse recap.

Take a Leak

Last night I discovered a water leak right at my meter box, which is strategically and rather unaesthetically located on the front lawn. Upon examination, I noted that the meter’s leak indicator wasn’t spinning, which led me to believe that the leak was on the supply side. This was significant for a couple of reasons, but mainly because that would make it the water company’s responsibility; otherwise, I’d probably be looking at a four-figure bill. I sure have been spending money lately.

I was thinking that the dumpster in my driveway was suspiciously positioned close to where that meter box is located, and maybe when the garbage hauler emptied it over the weekend, he backed in over it. I could never prove that, though, because as far as I know, there were no witnesses.

When I checked to see that the leak indicator wasn’t spinning, I decided to run some water to see if I could make it spin, just for the hell of it. In addition to the kitchen and the downstairs bathroom, I opened up a tap in the wet bar adjacent to the dining room, then went out to watch the meter spin. After happily viewing the results of my experiment, I came inside to shut off the faucets. That’s when I found that I had forgotten that the drain plug was engaged in the small bar sink, which was overflowing — another damn cleanup to keep me busy!

Fortunately, the utility company came out first thing this morning. The technician said it was just a gasket and they’d take care of it. Thus, no blame assignation is necessary and more importantly, no expense.

Circuitous Routing

The boys just popped a GFI again, so I’ve been doing laps from my upstairs office to the garage, where the GFI resides. No rest for the weary. I suspect that much like the outdoor outlet I had to replace on Day One, this one was in the same shitty shape. I will have to replace it, too. For now, I found an alternative circuit into which they could plug one of their compressors. Nothing like a major project to give the whole house — and its owner — a workout.

Just What I Needed

Couple that with the fact that the air conditioner guy is here today. When I scheduled maintenance on my three units — which happen to be located at the favored exterior location for the siding project guys’ compressors — I thought the siding job would be further along. Nevertheless, the polite, persevering, pierogi popping Miloje said “no problem.”

The air conditioning outfit has been sending me its largest refrigeration technicians ever since I blew my cork at one of their guys. Last time, it was a 300 lb black guy; this time it was a 6’5″ Serb. Can’t wait to see what I get for the next service. Hulk Hogan doesn’t live far from here and Shaq is never far away.

But it’s all good. Miloje was very polite. He finished in about three hours, finding nothing awry that would cost me more money.

Avoidable Delays

So, why aren’t we further along? Well, let’s start with last Friday, when they decided to suspend operations in view of a forecast deluge that never came to pass. Yesterday, I wondered why they started late — 9 am instead of the usual 6:55. I got my answer from the foreman this morning.

The guy driving one of the equipment trailers got stopped by a cop for non-functioning tail lights. When the Florida Highway Patrol officer checked the guy’s license, he discovered that it had been suspended. Furthermore, there was a bench warrant for the guy, for non-payment of child support. Fortunately, the officer investigate that on our good ol’ boy’s insistence and found that indeed the guy’s daughter was 20. The warrant had been issued a mere two months ago, clearly an error inasmuch as child support was required only until she was 18. The guy’s ex-wife probably was trying to get away with something. The cop figured that out, and left him go on his own recognizance. It’s the foreman’s trailer, and he’ll be paying the ticket this morning. As for the suspended license, I don’t know. Not my problem.

The foreman dropped off a check this morning for the balance of the window repair bill. (Recall that they had broken one of my windows. Cost them $230 to fix that.) The window guy will be here tomorrow to replace it. My cleaning crew will also be here tomorrow. It’s been like Grand Central Station around dis joint!

I’m thinking that, weather permitting, they’ll be done with the siding by the end of Monday. That won’t be all, though. The gutters and downspouts will follow, and then the entire house will be painted. I should have at least another week’s worth of fun after Monday. Nevertheless, I — as well as my neighbors, no doubt — will be happy that the mornings of pounding and sawing will have ended.

Sophomoric Move-Out

Cupcake and AS at the White House – Summer 2010

Meanwhile, there is no rest for the weary. This weekend is move-out weekend for Artificially Sweetened’s daughter Cupcake (whom you might remember from my summer vacation series of about years ago — she was fourteen then, and now she’s all grown up), and I’m committed to trekking up to Gainesville to assist the young Gator in her travails. She’s finishing up her freshman year. AS, Sk8er Boi (aka Sharkbite), and I will drag a U-haul up there on Saturday and meet Cupcake at her dorm after she finishes a final exam. I intend to do only the driving, supervision, and meal buying. There are enough young, strong bodies to do the heavy lifting.

But I Digress…

Back to the great siding project, I am fortunate that when the old siding was torn off and the framing exposed, no rot or otherwise compromised framing was detected. That would have pumped up the cost of the project considerably. Whew! It’s all buttoned up now, so one big bullet dodged!

My house is going to look great, and the extra layer of half-inch plywood should result in some energy saving. It takes three pretty large air conditioning units to cool this place, and my electric bill, which has been known to exceed $500 in the dog days of summer, could use a break. I’m happy with the work these guys have done thus far. When this is all over, I’ll write a glowing recommendation for the remodeling contractor on Angie’s List.

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The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…