an unfortunate witholding of smoked meats

Disgraced Whore Of Babylon John Ensign’s Sexy BBQ Postponed

The Republican Renewal Project, which aims to help GOP candidates in Nevada, has a hot new slogan: “It is time to be proud again.” And that is why they are proudly postponing a fundraising dinner featuring Senator John Ensign, due to “a scheduling conflict,” which is probably not related at all to his shameful courting of an adult human female for a brief period of time last year. [Republican Renewal Project]

[re=340677]Bruno[/re]: I’d need to see pictures of this guy getting a golden shower from an adult female on a public sidewalk at high noon before I felt sure it was ok to let him anywhere close to young boys. The fact remains that he is a Republican.

I regret that I cannot attend your bar-b-que on the 19th due to a scheduling conflict. It seems that, at that time, my wife will be shoving an electric cattle prod up my prostrate ass. Thank you for your understanding.

So at a Republican Renewal Bar-Be-Queue, do they pass around big slabs of slow-roasted baby back pork ribs, dripping with delicious tomato/vinegar/mustard/onion sauce, and every diner grabs off a piece to gnaw on, and lets the fat and sauce dribble down the starched front of his tuxedo shirt? With white bread on the side, and little tiny paper napkins that make the idea of “cleaning up” a cruel joke?

Because if they did, that would be awesome!

But more likely it’s burger meat drowning in catsup served on a Wonderbread bun

John Ensign was tired of all the publicity Jim Gibbons was getting. But he’s going to have a hard time becoming King of all Nevada Weenies until he also tries to molest a cocktail waitress in a parking lot. Consensual sex even with a friend’s wife isn’t nearly enough.

Harry Reid is the sane politician from Nevada. He’s just a Mormon convert who almost got blown up by the mob.

Gots to get some photos of the staffer and his wife; also the Mrs. Only then can the Wonkette nation pass judgement on the Ensign. Perhaps his objection, in Bill Clinton’s case, was to the object of Clinton’s indiscretion rather than the infidelity.

I like the subtlety of the big, red “Postponed” brand across the face of the invite. I understand they were also going to put a big, red “A” on Ensign’s chest, but he wouldn’t wear the customized sports coat.

Ensign also belongs to the evangelical guys’ group Promise Keepers. Two of it’s seven tenents are:
– A Promise Keeper is committed to practicing spiritual, moral, ethical and sexual purity.
– A Promise Keeper is committed to building strong marriages and families through love, protection and Biblical values*.

Indeed, it is time to be proud again, and how can any delusional Repug possibly be proud of this sex scandal? No diapers, no congressional pages – it’s a disgrace. I remember a day when Repugs put some real effort into their sex scandals. Whatever happened to values?

“I am sorry that I was scheduled to bang the wife of a staffer during the BBQ. So we will have to postpone the BBQ.” There’s a scheduling conflict we can get behind: “Yeah, Bob, will, Tuesday afternoon’s not good for me–I am scheduled to bang my assistant’s wife that afternoon.”

He boldly stepped forward when the affairee’s husband, to whom she was still wedded, told his old friend, the senator, that now that said senator had boffed his old friend’s wife, then both of the old friends wanted to get some monies for the pussy. Rather than giving up any monies, for in truth he is a Republican, as are they all, he decided to get honest. And said senator’s wife gets to nail the pool boy on a free pass. The GOP cheers!

I mean, cripes, what are we coming to as a country when we permit these sex scandals to proceed without titillating photos of the actual participants? What are we — freaking Amish? What great American is going to find a photo of this woman?