Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Expectations and Reality

At around this time, we've known that we're pregnant for about a week now. Some weird things about observing pregnancy:

* Pregnancy math, or the idea that conception is backdated a certain way due to cycles and such. I still don't understand it, to be fair, but it's not really my role to figure that out anyway.

* Telling people and not telling people: Traditionally, because so many things could go wrong, people don't tell other people until a certain point in the pregnancy. What Ann told me, and with the understanding that 72% of statistics are made up on the spot, is that, by far, most pregnancies don't have any problems. Something like 9 out of 10 are fine after the crucial first month or so. On one hand, it makes the waiting game feel kind of silly, but, on the other, who doesn't know someone who's miscarried? It's a tough thing to balance.

So, of course, we struggle to figure out when to tell people. Obviously, we have to share it with the immediate family we live with because, in the event something does go wrong, they're going to be witness to it. But what about the fact that we only see Ann's family every so often? Or that we're going on vacation with some close friends, and Ann can't drink? It's especially touchy in the internet/Facebook age - I know full well that people I want to have know early simply won't until they see it on Facebook, and that kind of stinks. But this is the world we live in.

* I'm helpless: Seriously. Ann's morning all day sickness kicked in fairly quickly, and all I can do is feed her peppermint gum and watch her suffer until this passes. I can't force her to do more in any area, but I want to make sure she's eating enough, that she's getting the rest she needs, and there's no way to guarantee that, nor has that ever been our dynamic. Then there's the "mother with Alzheimer's" wild card...

It's a weird place to be in, especially when you're in what amounts to pregnancy limbo. It's not so much a "I want to shout it from the rooftops" type thing as much as "let's get to the next step already..."