I am the First Lady of HR with a stellar career.
"People" is my middle name, on Tuesdays.
"Save a dollar, save a dime, spending cash is a corporate crime"

Thursday, 10 October 2013

A clubhouse for ex (axe) employees

Early Bird Retirement Clubhouse

CEO Stan's wife read an innovative, creative and wow article about maintaining contact with former employees, IE, members of Cynthia Aqs's Early Bird Retirement Plan.Aqs was born "Axe." Yet her reputation coach advised she change name to boost her sagging popularity.We have had but 45,000 people who have been released from our company in the last 12 years, and the task of keeping in contact with them has been given to me Senior VP of HR and Chief People Officer. I opened a community centre, pictured above.I had delegated the everyday management task of the community centre to Sarah Barracuda, Head of Human Resource Inventory Management. Yet Sarah herself joined Early Bird Retirement in our last resizing.Hugh White (our Diversity Chief, who is white and straight) will take over this task. Hugh will also ensure that all written material about the Early Bird Community Centre, pictured above, is translated into "foreign" languages.Hugh will also ensure that tribal food served is "in line with our core values based on big data". I use those terms a lot, and I am not all that sure what they mean.