All of Me

Wow, the time is almost here. It’s so hard not to be anxious about the fact that Bowen could come any day now. With all the contractions I’ve been having, I’m thankful that we’ve made it this long. Our surgeon said he really wanted him to be at least thirty-six weeks before his surgery and now we’re at thirty-eight weeks, thank you Lord! According to our ultrasound last Friday, he’s close to seven and a half pounds and is in the ninety-eighth percentile for height. They also said he’s practicing his breathing which is a good sign. Our cardiologist has been watching his other valves for leakage and so far there is none. I’m half a centimeters dilated, thirty percent effaced, and his head is down and ready to go. Please pray he doesn’t come early while Matt’s in Oklahoma or Texas this coming week; after next Saturday, he has a month off. When we had our four year-old, Emmy, my water broke ten days early while Matt was in New Mexico. He made it to the hospital in time for the delivery, but it was pretty stressful. I can only imagine how much more stressful it would be if he were out of town when I go into labor this time around. We know that God is control, but please continue to pray for us over the coming weeks.

While I’m here, I figured I’d share some other thoughts I had. This is what I guess you could call a pre-delivery reflection, and I didn’t want to miss the chance to post it. This is from a few weeks ago:

So I bought this adorable lion Halloween costume about seven years ago before I had kids. I’ve always wanted to use it, but it just didn’t work for the girls. It was made for a little boy; size twelve months. I got it out when we learned we were pregnant with a boy. It’s in his cradle with all the other special blankets and stuffed animals we picked out for him. I look at it every day. Bowen will be about fourteen months old when Halloween comes around and, to be honest, that’s a pretty bittersweet thought. I try to tell myself he’ll be here, wearing that costume. That he’ll be healthy, happy and that if you didn’t know any better, wouldn’t believe he’s living with half a heart. I pray to God that our sweet baby boy is totting around in this lion costume next year. His big sisters will help him from door to door and he’ll be a sticky mess from munching on all that candy. I’ll let him have as much as he wants. Then there’s the other part of myself that tells me not to get my hopes up, that reminds me of the statistics and the reality that Bowen might not be here to wear that little lion costume. Thinking of how much I adore my girls, and that I’ll have that same adoration for Bowen, nearly wrecks me. Sometimes it’s a struggle to open my heart fully, knowing that it could be devastatingly broken. But in the end, I know that I won’t be able to resist giving him all of me.

Sarah

In light of what I’ve shared, I thought it would be appropriate to post the lyrics of a song Matt wrote with Bernie Herms last week.

All of Me

Afraid to love something that could break
Could I move on if you were torn away?
I’m so close to what I can’t control
Can’t give you half my heart and pray He makes you whole

You’re gonna have all of me
You’re gonna have all of me
You’re worth every falling tear
You’re worth facing any fear

You’re gonna know all my love
Even if it’s not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I’ll start

I won’t let sadness steal you from my arms
I won’t let pain keep you from my heart
I’ll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I’ll share with you

You’re gonna have all of me
You’re gonna have all of me
You’re worth every falling tear
You’re worth facing any fear

You’re gonna know all my love
Even if it’s not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I’ll start

Heaven brought you to this moment
It’s too wonderful to speak
You’re worth all of me
You’re worth all of me

Let me recklessly love you
Even if I bleed
You’re worth all of me
You’re worth all of me

HI Sarah,
Beautiful post and love those lyrics. I was so happy to read the latest update on you and Bowen. Keeping you, Bowen, Matt and the girls all in prayer. God is faithful!! Praying with you that Bowen doesn’t come while Matt is out of town.
love & blessings

Beth Warner

Matt and Sarah, we love you all! Peace be with you through all God has planned for your lives and the lives of your children. As I have recently been reminded through a book I am reading, as we raise our kids God is teaching us how to better love him and give absolutely everything up to Him who is our all in all. When I read the song Matt wrote and your thoughts on Bowen’s arrival, I knew that you both understand this. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” As always, our prayers and support go with you.

Tyler Burkum

John Burress

Sarah — Just wanted you to know that I would be in prayer for you, Matt, the girls and especially for Bowen at this time in your lives. I pray that God will bless each of you with the peace and comfort that only he can bring. Reading through your post, and the lyrics of the song bring tears and joy to my heart the beauty of your family. I look forward to seeing the fb post of Bowen in that lion suit on halloween of next year. Love through Christ, John

Sarah and Matt,
The Lord has Bowen in his hands. My son also has half a heart and he is now 18 months old. For his first Halloween, we had gotten him a lion costume, because he was so brave. We will continue to pray for peace and comfort for your family and for a miracle in Bowen’s heart.

Sarah

While I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, I understand exactly what you mean when you say that you cautiously think about the future. My husband and I are going through the crazy, heart-breaking infertility struggle. I feel that same cautiousness when I think of our future children– if we are able to have them. While I want to dream about the future, I almost always stop myself because I don’t want to set myself up for pain.

The both of us are looking towards uncertain futures, we both know that there is always hope. I listen to JJ Heller’s song “Your Hands” the chorus says “When my world is shaking, heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I’ll never leave Your hands”

Matt & Sarah,
Dena and I are praying for you guys and for Bowen every day, our whole church has joined in with us since they know how hard this process is! God definitely has a plan for all of us, it was hard to believe that when our Tucker was diagnosed with HLHS, but he touches people every day.
We can’t wait to see little Bowen. His size will definitely help him with the surgeries, Tucker was 7lbs. 2oz. when he was born and is still big for a heart baby. Our cardiologist and surgeon both think that his size has contributed to his quick recovery.
Please let us know if you need anything or have any questions or concerns. We will continue to lift you guys up and hopefully Tucker can meet Bowen some day!
God Bless!
Trent, Dena, & Tucker Hamilton

I just wanted to encourage you. Our sweet Joshua was born just 6 days ago with HLHS. He had his first surgery (Norwood) on the 19th. He is doing beautifully. We are starting to wean him off of his medications and his chest will be closed tomorrow.

Congrats Jill! I am glad your son is doing well… I have a four year old with HLHS, and though he is struggling, he has many other HLHS kids who are thriving. In fact we met a guy in his twenties at the store who has it and looked great! I hope you can get home soon.
T’Nell

Lari

Praying for your little guy! My daughter is in the hospital with something similar (a form of HLHS) and turned a month old on Friday. It’s not an easy road, and Annabelle is still in the hospital, but she has taught me to treasure every single day… and has brought me to a place where I have to lay everything in Jesus hands daily. I thought I was doing that before… but not nearly to the level that I am now.

Debra Tilley

Hello, as Tucker’s great Aunt I have gotten to see all the miracles this baby has made in not only his family lives, but his church family, even his community. We have laughed, cried and loved; but most of all we have been bonded together. I know you will face some very tough times. God is awesome and will see you through. God Bless.

Just wanted to let you know that I have been reading what you guys have been going through, and I want to let you guys know that I am praying. Stay Strong and know that you are in God’s hands and God will let his work be seen, and he will do what is in his will.
((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

Jan Sorrell

Sarah, you are such a brave woman and it is obvious how much you love and trust in the Lord.
Nothing is closer to hearts than our children….God made us that way, of course. You stay strong
and know all our prayers are for you, Matt, and of course your precious angel ababy, Bowen.
Much love and God bless!

Lauren Colley

Matt and Sarah,
I want you guys to know that I love you and me and my family are praying for you. Always remember that God has Bowen in His hands and loves him even more than you do. I can’t even tell you how much this has touched me. Thank you for the wonderful inspiration this have given me. I really look up to you guys.
Love,
Lauren

The words to the song Matt wrote just brought tears to my eyes. Your family is so precious. Praying for you and for your sweet Bowen, especially. God has such a plan for this little guy’s life and for your lives as well. I know you know that! May you find comfort and strength in our Savior’s love during this time of uncertainty. I’ll be praying very specifically for the prayer requests you mentioned here.

Matt & Sarah,
My heart is full of hope and compassion for you two. I absolutely think the world of both of you and know that you are strong enough to go through what God has in store…I pray for Him to be by your side, holding your hands, lifting you up, through all of this. I love you both, Janyse

Mary Koralewski

I am praying for Bowen and his heart. I am praying that the God who spoke light into place will heal Bowen completely. But I am also praying for your heart and the for the journey you will be on. Know that God has known you would be on this journey from the time of YOUR conception, and that He has been preparing you for it.

We are praying for you! Our oldest child, Danny, also has HLHS. We also found out about his condition at our very first ultrasound at 19 weeks. His first halloween costume was also a lion, but he wore it at 8 months old. He is now 5, doing well, and starting Kindergarten in two days. God has guided the doctors to do amazing things for our heart children. Hang in there.

You are not alone in this journey. There are many HLHS parents out there who can give good advice and support for medical questions. One website you might want to try is http://www.hopeforhlhs.com/, and there is an associated Yahoo group.

Great post, and thank you so much for sharing. You guys will continue to be in my prayers, especially regarding the perfect timing of Bowen’s arrival.

I’m not an overly weepy kind of girl, but that song brought tears to my eyes. The lyrics are beautiful. Our little David had a longer-than-normal stay after his Norwood. During our worst days, I would tell him that if he was there fighting, I would be there cheering him on, doing everyting I could for him. He had all of me. You will also go all-in for your little Bowen. As a mom, you won’t want it any other way.

Sending love and prayers as an HLHS-mom and sister in Christ,
Jennifer

There are and will be a lot of statistics and percentages thrown at you, but what a comfort it is to know that God is not confined by statistics and percentages. Bowen is not part of a statistic to God. Bowen is part of a perfect plan that God has in store for him. I am praying for you as you begin this part of your Journey with your precious boy. There will be tears, but there will also be joy! I’m praying for peace and joy for all of you as Bowen makes his debut!

Cassie N

I got choked up as I read this Sarah, you and Matt are constantly in my prayers. Please remember that God is truly in control and we can find a peace trusting the unknown to a known God. I pray Gods peace and love and presence is thicker for you and your family in these coming weeks then ever before!

Oh Sarah and Matt- You are in my heart and prayers. Sadly I can relate to your anxiety and deep hearts. We lost our baby boy last year with a condition of Hydrops. God gave us 26 hours with him and I believe that Our Benjamin was a gift. Your family and little Bowen have been on my mind ever since I heard Matt’s announcement on KLove. My heart goes out to you!! I pray things go well, that Matt is there in time for his precious arrival, that the delivery goes well, that God is right there as he helps the hands of the doctors and nurses care for precious Bowen, and that God holds you and Matt very tight as things unfold. Oh, I pray all goes well!!
With Christian Love, Angela

Sarah Fusillo

Hi Sarah! (From Sarah) You may be delivering now:) just wanted to take the chance to contact you. I come from a family in Lima, Ohio of two Matt and Sarah (funny;) I am 31 now with 4kids Bella, Fia, Teo and Luca (married Italian obvious? lol) When I was carrying our Sophia, the ultrasound found large cpcysts in her brain. The doctor thought he should mention abortion(no) and very likely defects such as downs or heart defects etc. or possible numerous effects later in life. My dad immediately called his family of prayer warriors and they went to work and we watch special ultersound after usound as they disappeared and she was born fine and healthy. Now she is amazingly strong at 8. Prayer works, fears change to faith and thankfullness. And you learn to fight for a person when you are so exhausted. No matter her future I want to pour all my love as an exercise in rejecting fear and living free and bold and faithful. Onward and upward!:) I heard of this situation of yours at a concert in Lima and I am praying for you! Its amazing what we live and learn so young and motherhood is mindboggling sometimes. I am sure your gift from God is a blessing in ways you’ll figure out again and again over time. I am so happy for your family! Boys after girls are sooooo fun and sweet and energetic! They are wild and awesome and your girls seem even sweeter then!! So happy for your family you are all beautiful and loved. Thanks for sharing your story with all of us! Be strong-stay strong mama:) God Bless 😀 sarah

Bonnie Romanowich

Dear Matt and Sarah, Just to let know that I also am praying for you and your family, especially Bowen. I sure hope that you can feel all the love and prayers. I pray that knowing how much our heavenly Father loves you will push out any fear that tries to creep up on you and steal your joy. With much love for you all, Bonnie, Waukesha, WI

Isobel Johnson

Dear Matt,Sarah and kiddies,Greetings from Belgium! I got to know about your family’s situation after hearing the wonderful song ‘Lead Me’ on 106.9 The Light, then hearing your testimonies of the story behind the song.I know the Lord has touched your family and marriage to be able to go thru’ this trying time together.We have 5 children but lost little Cassandra when she was 5 days old.She had many problems at birth.So we can understand some of what you’re going thru’ at this time.Little ‘warrior’ Bowen won’t have to fight too hard cos so many are already fighting for him! ;p So we too pray Matt will be there with you Sarah, when he’s born and that the Lord will thouch his little heart right now.So much to say ,but bye for now. Luvs, The Johnsons

It is very hard to think about what your child will be like and will they make it. I also understand how hard it is to lay your child on God’s altar and say “He is Yours, no matter what happens.” Something God reminded me of a few months ago was from the gospel of Matthew: Jesus says why worry about tomorrow when today has enough worries of it’s own? This is how I have been keeping some of my sanity (lol) : just take one day at a time and enjoy it for what it is and who you have with you. When I find myself dancing with my son and wondering if I will dance with him at his wedding, I have to go back to enjoying the moment TODAY. I am praying for you and I am also soooo excited that little Bowen is going to be here soon (after his Daddy gets home) 🙂 May you see God’s blessings and the good that will come from this as you meet your new little baby! Please let us know if you need anything, want to talk, or whatever. We are here for you and your family. We love you guys!
T’Nell and family

Sandy Peters

Sarah and Matt~
We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of Bowen with you and your family. You are all in our constant prayers. Your family has been a true blessing to our family. We love you guys!!!
Sandy P.

Diana Williams

I heard about your story and wanted to give encouragement if possible. Our daughter Emily is thirteen now and has a single ventricle heart defect. We made it through several surgeries and she is doing so well, in fact you wouldn’t even know if we didn’t tell you! She takes karate with little limitations.

I hope things go smoothly during the birth and recovery and you have peace of mind. Feel free to contact us.
God bless your family

Austin Pieper

Matt and Sarah I Just Want 2 Let U Know That There Is Hope I Have The Same Heart Condition That Ur Son Has And I Am 16 Years Old I Have Had 3 Open Heart Surgeries To Recreate A Fake Left Valve
That Works Just Like A Real One I Just Figured I’d Give U Guys A Little More Hope I’ll Be Praying For U Guys And Your Son Please Keep Me Posted.

Donna

The song lyrics posted here brought me to tears. The words resonate….on many levels. I can totally relate to the fear of looking ahead and hoping “too much” as our son Charlie has HLHS. But as God’s work unfolds, he is 6 years old and thriving (http://tchin.org/portraits/charles-2.htm). I have said from the beginning that this is all in God’s hands. I know that God chose us to be Charlie’s parents….just like God chose you for Bowen. We will pray for smooth surgeries and recoveries… and strength for the journey ahead! Will be checking back to hear about Little Bowen’s progress.

Wow! That is a powerful and moving song. Just the first verse brought me to tears. We also live in Ohio and are parents of a beautiful daughter with half a heart. Praise be to God, she turned 8 in May and is now 5 years post-Fontan. But we never take one single day with her for granted. That is one of the blessings that God has given us. I have an internet friend who says that God gives us these half a heart children to teach us how to seek God and love him with our whole hearts.

We will be praying for Bowen and your family as you tackle this journey. It is a rough road, but with God leading you will make it through!

Cindi

(((Hugs))) from another Heart Mom. I just learned about your son’s condition today. My heart breaks for what you all are going through and I’m praying for you. Our 10yo daughter (her name is Sarah) was born with a CHD: “atrioventricular canal defect”. She’s had 2 open heart surgeries (her 2nd surgery was 3 yrs ago at Boston Children’s and they are amazing there). Psalm 139 came to our heart long before she was born.

May God hold you close and let you know that He is with you every step of the way. Stay united and hold tightly to your Loving Father.

We also have a little one with half a heart. Our daughter, Anna Grace has Hyplplastic Right Heart Syndrome (specifically – Tricuspid Atresia, Transposition of the Great Arteries, Aortic Coarctation, Patent Foreman Ovale, Pulmonary Stenosis and Ventricular Septal Defect). She is 8 months old now and has had her Norwood and Glenn surgeries already. We are home and she is thriving. I know how you feel because it hasn’t been so long ago for us that we were right where you are. The Heart Journey is quite a journey – you will see God in this journey in amazing new ways. Praying for your family. Please e-mail me should you ever need to “talk” to another heart Mom.

Melissa Meabon

Praying for you guys. I appreciate your honesty and clear example of your faith and trust in God. Wow feels like we just saw you both in Indy all giddy about expecting again…Blessings to your beautiful family.

Malissa

Sarah,
I first heard about Bowen months ago and I was so moved by your story and that you were reaching out for prayer and encouragement. I am so glad that you are going to take that leap and love him with all your heart, as if you could avoid it! These little ones take us in and nestle in every crevice of our souls. I pray he lives a long and happy and healthy life. I can envision him in that costume covered in chocolate and I hope you will allow yourself to do the same without fear.
My pastor encourages us to pray for the best case scenario, but to consider/face the worst case scenario. Often, when you have the Lord, the worst case scenario is that if what you dread does happen, He can heal your heart. ONLY He can heal your heart. After I had a miscarriage, I was broken-hearted, confused, angry and quite literally miserable. Until one day I realized something very important. My little one was with Jesus. Even though what I wanted was for that child to be here with me, I was so very thankful that in my child’s experience, nothing bad had ever happened because he/she went from the womb (back) to God’s arms. That brought me so much comfort. My worst case scenario, because of God, was not as hard to live with as I’d thought. Then the Lord brought our amazing Elisha to us, my son, who heals my heart daily. God took something very hard and turned it around and into a blessing. I know He will do the same for you. Praying God’s best for you. Jeremiah 29:11 is true for Bowen today. He has a future and a hope.
Malissa

Kevin BOWEN

Just heard your story on K-LOVE again, and it was the first time that I heard your son’s name, Bowen…that being my last name, I had to look up the blog to read it. Praying for your family in the coming days 🙂 “Lead Me” blesses my heart every time I hear it.

Jessica BOWEN

I love this story and im praying for him everyday. Im pleased to know that his name is Bowen and that it means little victorious one. Im only 13 and I am very small. I could pass as a fourth grader, and im in eighth grade (:

I just heard of your story from a fellow heart mom. I too am the mother of a little boy born with a broken heart. My son was diagnosed with D-TGA, DORV, VSD, Pulmonary Stenosis and Right Aortic Arch. He has endured three open heart surgeries already and numerous other procedures. His story is far from over and he faces more surgeries in the future.

Despite everything that we have been through with him it has been one of the most incredible blessings to have happened. He is a miracle and we feel so grateful that God chose us to care for one of his most precious treasures.

There are lots of ups and downs that come with this journey but I can honestly say that I have never regretted being on this journey for single second. Would I take away the pain that Logan has felt and the many obstacles he will face in the future….sure. But would I trade what he has done to our lives….no. He is perfect in every single way. His broken heart taught us how to love with our whole hearts. God has used him as HIS instrument to teach us obedience, patience and humility. He has opened our eyes and our hearts. We live every day the way it is meant to be lived. It is a true gift and shouldn’t be taken for granted.

I am praying for your family and your precious little miracle on his way. If you ever need another heart family to talk to I am here!

Jenn J.

I saw you both at church this weekend. Glad to see that Matt made it home before Bowen made his debut. I really wanted to stop and introduce myself and let you know that I was praying for you, but you had crowds of people around you. But know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and so many others at CCTV. Just on Sunday, I overheard so many conversations about little Bowen and how many lives he has touched already. Good luck with everything.

michelle gutierrez

I am praying for all of you. I pray for your family, for your beautiful little girls and for Bowen, for the challenges you face in the days, weeks and months ahead, may Christ hold you in his arms, comfort you in the times of fear, of uncertainty, of sadness, and also as you rejoice, and in every time. I am reminded of Psalm 139 (New International Version)

Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

Kristen

Our family continues to pray for you and your upcoming journey… I have tears in my eyes after reading your latest blog and the lyrics… It’s a hard balance of the joy and fear of life with your newborn whose life is so fragile and dependent on special care. We are praying that your family will be blessed like ours as we will celebrate our baby girl’s 1st birthday in two weeks, and that Bowen will in fact wear that lion costume next Fall having overcome these first hurdles. We are praying that the Lord will enable Matt to be there for the delivery, and that the girls will know they are safe and secure, wrapped in the loving arms of our Lord. I am praying for an extra measure of comfort and peace even in the midst of the fear and uncertainty. What we can be certain of is God’s goodness and provision for His children. He is our Jehovah Jireh, and we know that you will see firsthand how He works for the good of all believers in these days to come.

I have a good friend whose baby was born with HLHS. Today he is a healthy 4 year old. While his surgeries didn’t exactly go according to “text book”, and he had difficulties along the way, he triumphed over all. It was amazing to watch God work in their lives. They started a blog while they were pregnant and did a pretty good job of documenting their trials. You will have to search the archives and go back to the beginning, but if you have time here it is: http://gonzalezsheart.blogspot.com/.

Sarah

A wonderful friend of mine told me about your website. Wow…you have no idea how much I can relate to what you are feeling! We are a little over 32 weeks pregnant with our first child. We found out at about 24 weeks that he too has a congenital heart defect called Tetrology of Fallot. Since then our life has been a whirl wind of Doctor’s/Cardiologists appointments, tears of sadness, tears of joy, fear, anxiety, faith, love and so many other mixed emotions and feelings. We know that what is to come is completely in God’s hands and all we can do is pray that little Zachary stays strong and feels how much love and support is waiting for him when he finally gets her. I just wanted to let you know your website is so inspirational. Thank you for having the strength and courage to share your feelings. We will be praying for you and your family!

Amy B.

As a heart mom, I am so grateful for your honesty. Your heartfelt and painfully raw post reflects the emotions of so many mothers and fathers who learn of their child’s heart defect. Based on your other posts, and the replies to this email, you are surrounded by God’s love. However, if you have not done so already, I urge you to investigate some of the many online and direct sources of support for this new journey you are on. Many people know God’s love and will share that with you, but there is a unique bond between those who have walked the road of congenital heart defects. I went through it surrounded by love, yet so “alone.” I pray that you get the support you and your family needs.

Stephanie

Dear Sarah and Matt, we always knew that we wanted to name our first son Matthew, which like you said, means “Gift of God”. What we didn’t know, until after he was born, was how true that meaning would be. You see, our Matthew was born with Down syndrome, and although a lot of children with Down syndrome are born with heart problems, Matthew was not, yet he did spend 65 days in the hospital. When he was born we were not going to church, so aside from family and some friends, we did not have a big prayer circle. You are so blessed to have so MANY people praying for you that, I know you will have the strength to make it through this. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Our family will being be praying for you every day.

Stormy

My neighbor’s little boy was born with a heart condition where the right ventricle never formed. After multiple surgeries, tons of prayer and lots of faith, baby Hunter celebrated his first birthday August 25th. He is now attempting to crawl, stands with help, and is the happiest little boy I have ever known! Never let your faith waver! There is hope! Miracles do happen!

Matt and Sarah, you are in my thoughts daily. I heard about your story on KLove and my heart went out to you. In November 2006, we found out the baby girl we were expecting had HLHS. Our doctor told us there was nothing that could be done for her. Fortunately he was SO SO wrong! Today she is a beautiful, happy, healthy 3-year-old, who will start preschool next week. I wanted to share with you a poem that I posted on my blog about heart babies. http://owensfamilyof5.blogspot.com/2010/02/perfect-heart-poem.html. You will be in my prayers! God bless!

Amanda Harmon

Sarah, I know you don’t know me. I first heard about Bowen’s heart on K-Love. I’ve been following ever since. I feel you’re both very brave for going through this, i’m so grateful you have each other with GOD to stay strong. I’ve been praying every day for GOD to intervien. From the sounds of it nothing has changed in the womb. I’m SO SORRY! I understand how you feel about expecting your third child. And not sure if you could handle everything on your own. I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant and all I can think to do for you and your family is PRAY,PRAY, PRAY! (And cry). I’m confident that GOD will intervien and you will be enjoying your baby for years to COME!!! I’m constantly reminded that Jesus loves the little children and he will be there craddling him during surgery and there as his own personal angel through all of this. I just felt like you needed to know that. Thank you for giving me the oppurtunity to tell you that! I’ll continue to pray for you, your family, of course BOWEN, and the physicians to be guided by GOD!!!

Mindy C

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for inspiring us with your beautiful music that our own 2 & 4 year old girls sing. We will pray for you daily and always remember that God has a plan for you and your son!

Erin

We’ve never met but, we attend the same church & we have been praying for your family since 1st hearing your story on Klove. I read your latest post & I pictured my 7yr old son 7yrs ago wearing his lion costume for halloween. I scrolled down after reading & saw the picture & it was that exact costume he had worn. I cannot imagine what you guys are facing, but know that there are many people praying for your family during this time! Also know that the faith your family has is an inspiration for many other families! LOTS of prayers & thanks for sharing your journey!

Sarah

melanie

Sarsh,my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.Just remember our God is a good faithful God who loves us beyond measure.Continue to drawn his strenght ,Love your little one with all your heart and know the rest of us continue to lift you up.

Sarah – I heard about your story while listening to my favorite Christian radio station (94.9) in Dallas today. I love the song “Lead Me” and listened as the radio station told the story of Bowen, asking the listeners to pray for him and your family. Your story especially touched my heart. My own daugther, Lia, was born 2 years ago with several congenital heart defects of her own. She actually has tricuspid atresia, which basically is Hypoplastic Right Heart Syndrome. It’s similar to HLHS, but she is missing her right ventricle instead of her left. They repair both of our children’s heart defects (and several other congenital heart defects) with the same 3 staged “Norwood Procedure”. Lia had her first stage (BT Shunt) when she was 6 days old. Her second of the 3 stages was done when she was about 4 months old. She will have the final stage (The Fontan) next Spring or Summer. She is an active, vibrant, healthy 2 year old. I’d love for you to visit her website and blog. We found that if we could get our eyes on other children who were born with this sort of heart defect and see how they looked and lived it was helpful for us. We were really just so unsure of what to expect. Of course, every baby is different but it was comforting to know that children can do quite well with one ventricle. I’ve walked in your shoes of uncertainty, not knowing what to prepare for and fearing the worst. We also believed and still do, that God gave us Lia and her heart for many reasons. She has changed our lives and the way we try and live. We no longer take the health of our children for granted. We are happy for every day we are blessed with normalcy. Lia has two older brothers, Colby is almost 8 and Jace is 5. They love her with all their hearts. People have prayed for Lia all over the world. There is really something to be said for that. We felt like, especially the days prior to her delivery, that the door of heaven was literally being beat down with prayer on her behalf. How humbling that was for us as parents. Please feel free to contact me if you’d like to talk. I would love to talk to you. I will be praying for Bowen, you and your husband, and your girls. We will pray for strength, faith, and most of all peace. Peace, perfect peace…the kind of peace only He can provide.

Christina Brock

Matt and Sarah,
What a blessed song. I am in tears for you and the unknowns you face. I will carry Bowen’s needs in my heart and pray for his heart to be just as the Lord would have it be. I too am expecting a little boy in Nov.
My thoughts are with you all. What a beautiful thing God has done in bringing you two together. God Bless.

Robin

Sarah,
I feel compelled to write you for a couple of reasons. First, I attend the same church as you & your family (CC, P.burg). Second, I am an RN in the NICU at Toledo Children’s Hospital. I thought you might like to “know” someone who works in the NICU where Bowen will be, if that’s still your plan. I’ll be at church Sept. 5th @ 10:45, volunteering in the baby room if you’d like to talk for a bit.
Praying for all of you!
Robin R.

Cindy

Love this post… Sarah and Matt I am praying for you and believing with you that Bowen will be toddling in his Lion costume. The picture is lovely and I can imagine the equal parts of hope and anxiety you feel. You are all in God’s hands and HE will give you the strength you need for what He will bring. The song lyrics are precious and perfect… I’d love to hear it someday. I don’t know how much of these you get to read, but wanted to leave you and your family much love and prayers.

Heather Hensley

Sara and Matt~
I am praying for you and your little one. I know God will take care of you and I pray that Bowen is born happy and as healthy as possible. I hope to see him in his little lion costume next year. Blessings and prayers,
Heather Hensley

Jen

Hang in there. God’s perfect timing will reveal His plan! I have been praying for months and have read your blog the whole time too. I know you are anxious and it’s ok. We are ALL afraid of the unknown and trusting in God and just giving him our anxieties makes us stronger in Him.

Know that you are loved by strangers who have never met you, but have only heard your story (and Bowden’s) through the radio waves. Know that complete strangers are praying for you as your body prepares to give birth. Know that we can’t wait to see pictures of Bowden and continue to lift him up as he goes through the surgeries and recovery periods.

That is really beautiful. Christina was just telling me the story and then had me read the lyrics here. It’s really poignant for us because we’re expecting, too. I can imagine the struggle it would be if it were our baby. We’re praying for you guys.

Tarah Mayers

Hi Sarah, this is the first time I’ve read your blog. You two have been an inspiration to me and my husband with the song lead me and the reason behind the song. I struggled as you struggled and I played the song for my husband and he had no idea I felt that way. Now he keeps playing it as a reminder. Also allowing God to lead him so he can lead us.

I pray for your baby that this comment finds him in your arms healthy as an ox. For we have 2 boys and a 6 month old little girl. I ask God to bless you and your family through everything that is happening and bring peace to your heart knowing still that He is in control. I can live without my children, because God will give me strength, but I don’t want to live without them. I know you feel the same.

Stay strong and God bless, continue to bless the lives of many through your music.

Undisclosed

I found you on Air1 radio station and have been praying for you ever since, knowing someone in a similar situation that has come through by God’s grace. I will follow your story for as long as you keep posting, and I want you to know this: I believe that Bowen will survive. I believe that God will pull him through, that this is part of His plan to make something bigger out of this then we could ever imagine. And if God brings him home sooner than expected, than be comforted in knowing that your little boy is so precious and special that He couldn’t wait to have him in Heaven.

Courteney

Hi love..I’ve heard about you guys ever since I flipped on KLOVE this summer and heard “Lead Me”. Just spoke right to my heart, I had to send it to my exboyfriend. We were even listening to it this weekend together (which is rare.he lives 5 1/2 hours away).. Anyways, ever since I found out you two were having a baby, I wanted to offer a free pair of handmade crochet shoes to you guys. I don’t want to post my website here as I am not trying to advertise, but if you would like, email me. I will send you the link and you can pick out a pair you like. If little Bowen comes out slightly smaller, I can also make them preemie sizes:) Good luck and God bless.

Ryan Council

Your story truly touched me. I have prayed for Bowen and your family. I was really encouraged by your family possessing the understanding to know that all of this is for God’s purpose and for His glory. All of it is for his glory (Romans 11:36). Sometimes it’s easy to say or read…but your outlook really pressed on my heart when I heard it on K-Love. I do know that God perfoms miracles. He just delivered my wife from a very agressive cancer; and I will continue to pray God’s purpose (hopefully complete healing) for Bowen. God bless.

Sarah Laundy

Sarah- although I don’t know you when I was listening to k-love this morning I wanted to share some encouragement and prayer. I can not say I have or am going through what you are but my family is going through a time right now that our faith is being tested and stretched. The one thing I tell myself ALOT is be anxious of nothing (easier said than done I know) and all things God has a purpose and in the end it will glorify him. Keep your eyes on Him and your hand in your husbands and in all things praise him.
Dear Lord I pray for this family right now that you bless this family more than they have blessed others with Matthews music and Sarahs unselfishness of letting her husband go. You made this son for a specific purpose and I pray that you use little Bowen to bring others to you! Give them a peace the surpasses all understanding. Thank you for your love and your guidance through the great times and the scary times. We love you! Sarah Laundy

Stephanie

I am praying for your baby boy. I am very excited after reading your story that finally your blessed with a baby boy=) I will keep all of you in my prayers and while going this hard situation i pray god gives you the strength. He will be with you and your family always and he will get you through this. If God puts us through it he will get us through it. With all my love Stephanie

Gabrielle Olney

Teresa

Been keeping updated through KLove. Thanks for sharing. Our daughter was born single ventricle (right instead of left) almost 15 yrs ago. I have shared in so many of the same thoughts and admire your openess and willingness to share. I am thinking of you today as I heard you were in labor this morning and will pray for Bowen, you, the girls and Matt. Juliann (my little heart patient) is sending up prayers as well as the rest of our family.

Sandra

I know God can do anything, my husband and I had a baby nearly 17 yrs. ago who was born at 26wks gestation. He was born with lung problems and his brain had bleeding just a couple wks after delivery along with a collapsed lung. Our son Isaac wasn’t even supposed to make it through the pregnancy or after birth, he is now 17, has some learning challenges because of the bleeding in his brain but he is a healthy boy otherwise. It would take a lot to explain all the miracles that happened with me and him during all of this, but lets just say that God is good. Then in the last 5 years after my husband and I had our 6 kids I lost 3 pregnancy’s and that nearly ripped my heart out. Through my husbands help and the Lord, God has healed me from that pain and continues to do a work in me cause when I see ladies pregnant and new born babies, it is still hard to see that sometimes.

I know God is able in ALL things and he loves you and your family so deeply, I know that his plan will be revealed in his time and he will give you what you need, when you need it to get through anything he puts in front of you and he will draw you to himself through it all. That you can count on.

Today my husband and I have 6 healthy kids and someday we will see the 3 in heaven when we get there and I KNOW my God is taking care of those 3 in heaven.

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Lila

I can’t even begin to tell you how much your family has touched me in just these couple of days that I’ve heard about you. I can’t thank you enough for your strength and belief in God. You’re truly such an inspiration to me. Thank you. And thank you for posting those lyrics. It brought tears to my eyes. I love your simply love and belief in God. And thanks for the reminder, He definitely is good.

Leslie Echols

As the mother of 7 children, the last of whom was born 3 months premature and weighed a mere 2+ lbs at birth, I can tell you that it can be very difficult to walk through what you’re going through.

Like Bowen, Christopher’s odds of making it (statistically speaking) were very small, according to the doctors. He had virtually no amniotic fluid, contributing to a multitude of other health issues…including heart and lungs problems, pulmonary hypoplasia, musculoskeletal abnormalities, intrauterine growth restriction, and what they were certain was at least one club foot, and likely two…based on the ultrasounds. The prognosis, according to most, was “not good.” The likelihood that he would make it to what the hospital considered “viable” was slim, to term…impossible.

We were told by some medical “professionals” that we should induce labor early…effectively terminating my pregnancy…but that was NEVER an option. We told them that, no matter what happened and regardless of the outcome, we knew that God gave us this blessing, our 7th child, and I would carry him until God saw fit to bring him into the world.

From the time we found out there were problems with my pregnancy (it was confirmed at about 16-18 wks there was, for all practical purposes, no amniotic sac and virtually no amniotic fluid present…and hadn’t been for awhile ) we began praying fervently for our unborn child and asked others to do the same. While we knew the chances of him making it were slim, we also knew we served a very big, amazing, and all-powerful God, who knew….far better than we ever could…the purpose of this little one.

Like you, at times I struggled, knowing I could lose this child before I even had the chance to know him…it broke my heart. I’d had two miscarriages between my second and third children…that searing pain was something I did not want repeated. I was optimistic, but knew the reality of the pain I was opening myself up for could be beyond excruciating. I knew opening my heart fully, to loving him and believing he would make it, also made me very vulnerable and opened me up to enormous heartache and grief as well. But, I also knew that…no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much pain and grief I endured, no matter how many tears I cried, or how much my heart ached…it was worth it.

While we are sometimes afraid to be open…and allow ourselves to be vulnerable…it is then that God is able to minister to us the most. When we realize things are beyond our control (completely out of our control, in fact) and we turn it ALL over to Him…without reservation…knowing He is ALWAYS faithful, that is when we find peace…even in the midst of the storm.

Sending love, hugs, and prayers from Alaska…
<3 Leslie

PS-Our little Christopher will be 10 yrs old in December. While he was born with a number of medical issues-heart and lung being paramount-he did NOT have even a single club foot, let alone two. After my 6 wks of "camping" in the antepartal unit, and him spending 3 months in the NICU-along with years of PT, OT, ST, and a variety of other medical professionals caring for him and following him closely-I am pleased to say that he is doing very well…God IS good!

There IS hope…never lose it.
Life is hard, but God is good, and better days are coming.

Brandi Lehning

What beautiful lyrics–Seems they summed up a lot of emotion in that song! Very powerful! I can not even imagine how difficult the thought of what lies ahead must be like for your family! Stay strong and move forward knowing full well that Bowen will undoubtedly have All of you!

Jennifer Thielen

My Thoughts and Prayers are with Your family, the Doctor’s, Nurse’s, Everyone that has a part in Your Son’s Life. I have no idea, what you as Parents are going through, i can only imagine, and i don’t want to do that. GOD IS GOOD we just have to know and remember that. God Bless your Beautiful little family and Congratulations on your Beautiful baby boy.

Violet Veale

Sarah, I heard about baby Bowen on “the Fish” and personally appreciate the emotional rollercoaster you are on. You are right to give your whole heart completely! The HOpe you have is a gift from God, the creator of the universe who knit Bowen together in your womb with a special plan. He knows what He intends to do to bring Himself glory through the life of your son! And His word is a daily comfort to moms like us! I’m so excited to hear that Bowen is doing better every day and off the CPAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sarah, I identify with your comfort from Psalm 139 (the whole chapter!) and experienced a spiritual awakening and priceless journey the forty days my daughter Rose was in the NICU. I call her my desert Rose, because those were my forty days of seeking Him daily for “manna” in the word, and interestingly — I found special meaning in the book of Isaiah. Then the chaplain wrote a scripture in Rose’s baby book that will have special meaning for me the rest of my life: Isaiah 35:1 “The wilderness and the wasteland shall be glad for them, and the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose.” No matter what, you don’t ever have to let go of the Hope that God has blessed you with! He has the most wonderful plans for Bowen Matthew, his little victorious warrior! You are so blessed to know where your help comes from…..and to have the opportunity to share your hope and peace with those who don’t! (Psalm 121). Doesn’t your life just feel like a beautiful dream where God is showing you just how much He loves you and thinks of you personally? Probably in a way you never quite realized before!? It took me 31 years to see it, though I’ve believed it my whole life! Amazing LOVE! Praying for you! –Violet Elizabeth Veale Athens, GA

Amanda Wade

I was just looking at the most recent report on Bowen and couldn’t help but smile! Bowen looks so healthy and has lots of rolls! The picture of you and him made me think about this blog post about the lion outfit. I decided to reread the post and just realized that it was written exactly one year ago. Our God is so faithful! You’ll have to post pictures of Bowen in this outfit this halloween!

Someone suggested the youtube link for “All of Me” a while ago and I have been listening to it quite a bit–we are getting ready for our daughter’s first OHS (was supposed to be today, actually, but had to be postponed due to illness) next week and I find comfort and peace in the song. Thank you for that 🙂 I searched for the story behind the song and found your blog–it is wonderful to hear how great Bowen is doing 🙂