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3.2.12

falling in love

If you were to ask me how many times I've fallen in love, the answer is simple. Once.

If you would have asked me this three years ago, the answer would have been much different. Back then, I would have maybe said 3 times, but that was before I knew what real love was.

When you're "in love" with someone, you can't even realize how much MORE you can love someone else. I thought that I loved past boyfriends. I had "serious" ones for years. I had all of those funny feelings and butterflies that are expected when you love someone, and my heart even seemed to agree. I thought that they might have even been "the one". Boy, was I wrong.

Something changed when I met Dustin. It sounds so cliche, but I really did know he was the one. I hadn't experienced anything like what I felt with him, even though I thought I had felt it all in the past. It was like love multiplied by 100 to the power of something, squared. I'm a math whiz, obviously. The best part -- he felt the same way too. We just meshed together perfectly. We belonged together.

When we were living in different countries, it was the worst possible feeling I can remember. We would have our amazing visits and then he would be gone. My whole body... heart and mind actually physically ached when I would think about him. I just wanted him with me all the time. Our daily chats and biweekly visits weren't enough. I can remember laying in bed at night with thoughts running through my mind. They were frustrating to me and at times I would actually let out an angry "ughhh!". Why did he have to live so far away? When will I see him again? What if he doesn't feel the same way? Will this ever work out? What if I lose him? I just want him here!!! I know he's the one!!!

The thing is, you really can't understand true love until it happens to you. You could be in a current relationship and think you understand what love is and believe that person is your 'soul mate', but later realize that what you were thinking was so wrong when you actually meet your real true love... and when that actually happens, you'll KNOW.

I can't even explain the weird feelings that I experienced down our road of love... but one thing I knew was certain -- none of that "love" in the past even mattered. I had seen the truth of what love really is and it seemed so silly to even classify my past experiences as being in love.

Whoever said that you "just know" when you meet the ONE was totally and completely right.

24 comments:

I thought I loved my past boyfriends too. Like you, boy was I wrong! haha.

I feel the same way about my boyfriend. Every couple months he goes out of town to work, only an hour ferry trip away though. I won't see him for a couple days, two weeks, or even a month. Didn't matter how long because I hated it. haha.

We're currently living essiently in seperate cities. He's been away working since the day after our 2year in December but we've slowly been trying to move our life here to there. I've got 7days until our next visit, a mere two days won't be enough though, and in 25days we'll officially be moving all our crap over there for good. Finally! I'm giving up my awesome job and heading over there without one secured yet but it's going to be worth it.

I'm not pushing an engagement or marriage, we're already technically common law anyways which is good enough for me right now haha but he is definately the one. My whole family loves him, his family loves me. (his mom already refers to me as her DIL when introducing me & is bugging me for kids! haha) I have never had a boyfriend that actually said what he was doing (going away to where he can make money in his trade) was actually for us and our future together.

What a great post about love, wonderfully written. I'd like to hear more about what happened so that you and Dustin were living in the same country (I'm in one of those American/Canadian relationships too!)

What a great post about love, wonderfully written. I'd like to hear more about what happened so that you and Dustin were living in the same country (I'm in one of those American/Canadian relationships too!)

The way I look at love is, not only the feelings you get, but the peace about giving 100% of yourself to someone else. Still scary, and still LOTS of feelings, but a feeling of 'home' and 'everythings OK'.

And also, true love can take work. A good relationship needs a lot of intentional work to KEEP it a good one.

I'm head over heels for my boyfriend. We've been together 3 years and I can't even imagine being without him; just a couple days apart and we both have little melt downs! He's my high school sweetheart :) Maybe I'm too young and this isn't the one, but it sure feels like it :) & I hope with all my heart that it is! I can't recall ever meeting a more caring, loving person! Sigh... :)

What a beautiful post! I 100% relate. My fiance and I did the long distance thing for a year-- he graduated college a year earlier than I did and I literally ached for him, as you said. I'm digging your Valentine theme, keep it up!

I totally agree. I was in a relationship of 4 years before I met my husband and I thought 'ok, thats it. that is the guy you will spend the rest of your life with' and then I met my husband and was his tourguide for 8hrs and just KNEW that he is THE guy. And look at me now, 3 months married, together for 18months, just moved over the big pond, gave up my old life. And still dying when he is not around.

Aww. I went through this, realizing my past relationships were nothing at all based on love. I think its interesting, though, to only get to that realization until you experience a love you know is real.

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