What to tell your kids when you are getting divorced?

One of the hardest things to do is know what to tell your kids when you are getting divorced. For the children, this is tragic and hard. Kids normally want to see their parents stay together. They want their parents to work it out. When they can’t work it out, it can be devastating on the kids.

Obviously, there are a lot of variables that can come into play just based on the circumstances. In some instances, the facts can dictate what the kids may or may not already know. Also, the kids may have seen this coming if there was fighting or arguing. In other cases, the kids might feel like the divorce game out of left field. In either instance, the effects of the divorce can be equally devastating for the kids.

There are things parents shouldn’t say. Obviously, they shouldn’t say bad things about the other parent to the kids. They shouldn’t make the kids feel like they should bear any guilt or fault for what has happened. They also shouldn’t put the kids in the middle of the divorce or ask the kids to take sides. All of this can have devastating effects on children.

So, what should parents say to their children? What is okay to say? Again, the circumstances are going to vary in certain respects based on the circumstances. It can also be helpful to talk with a child psychologist or counselor about appropriate things to say, and not say, before having that difficult conversation with your children.

But things that are universally okay to tell children is this: Tell your children that you love them. Tell your children that it isn’t their fault. Tell your children that they don’t have to choose between their parents. And, ultimately, tell your kids that it’s going to be okay.