Contents

"I believe that deep down inside you, there is a thinking, feeling human being who desires very badly to express himself. And I'm just saying, it might be in your best interests if that human being didn't act on those desires just now."

"You disappointed me, and I hate being disappointed. So there it is."

"What were you thinking just now? Not before, but just before now? Not counting what I'm saying to you right now? Because, it was wrong"

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"

"Hello little man, boy, I heard a lot about you"

"He'd be damned if any greasy yellow slope get his hands on it, so he hid it in the only place in one place he knew he could hide somethin, up his ass."

"Now, we can discuss this in a calm, cool, rational manner, like two mature adults, or I can blow your head off."

"You have to understand something. Your job is not to question what it is I should or should not do in any given situation. Your job, as I see it, is to keep handing me more clips. Don't you like your job? You can be honest with me."

"You're talkin' to me all wrong, thats the wrong tone. do it again, and I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron."

"I understand that you have a basic need to stare at things you find, shall we say, interesting. And really, I'm very gratified that you would find me interesting - however, your staring makes me, well, somewhat... uncomfortable. I just thought you'd like to know that."

"Listen. From my own personal perspective, there are two ways we can handle this. But I'm not going to tell you what those two ways are, because that might give you the idea that you have some sort of 'choice' here."

"Now, I thought we'd resolved this. Didn't we resolve this, just a minute ago? So just now, when I needed a new clip, where were you? You weren't here, where I needed you, were you?"

"What do you want me to say, that I'm sorry? That I apologize? Well, people in Hell want ice water, pal."

"So, why do you think I did that? Just to amuse myself? Or do you think maybe, just maybe, there was a deep, underlying reason that you're not fully comprehending?"

"I'm Christopher Walken. Do you know what that means? It means I don't have to explain myself to some dumb bimbo, I don't have to explain myself to the mob, I don't have to explain myself to the cops, I don't have to explain myself to God, and I especially don't have to explain myself to some dead guy."

"What did I just do?"

"I just stabbed you in the face with a soldering iron. That's what I just did."

"Guy a protester insulted me once so I had to beat him with his stop the violence sign."

"You see, violence merely creates more violence. It's a cycle that never ends... You insult me, I shoot you, you drop dead, someone else insults me... And it just keeps repeating over and over again. And for what?"

"When you treat someone poorly, you know, disrespectfully, you're going to have a certain amount of resentment and anger because of that. You treated me poorly just now, didn't you? So, maybe you can explain to me why I shouldn't just kill you."

"Love is what you have when you stop hating. Sure, there are other things you want to have, too, like me releasing you from this wooden crate full of fire ants. But the important thing is that you will have love."

"Love is like a wreath of pretty flowers which smells bad. Hate is when pointy-eared freaks quote me and don't tell me. Love and Hate is when I let you live. Is today Friday?"

"The problems of the world won't be solved by love alone. You need the opposite of love too... and by 'opposite' I mean Scientology."

"You stole my shoes, Kip... You took them in broad daylight, you remorseless dolt, and if I had my way I'd cover you in sour milk and filthy scabs and let the Mexicans have their way with you." (Walken on the failing U.S. Social Security system)

"I find that deep contemplation is best articulated in the nude. Does anyone disagree? No. So shut up." (Walken on Gymnosophy)

"To give birth, to bring a new human life into the world, is truly a wonderful, magical thing. I'd tell you how it feels, but then I'd have to kill you." (Walken on Childbirth)