I've always worn show blacks but as far as blending in...not so much. I have a camera with a light on it with a wireless receiver on it, am most of the time on a DVMultirig and go on the dance floor to video the people dancing and partying, so blending in is not tops on my priority list. Not obnoxious but no wall flower either. Anyway some guys/gals are a bit more 'hidden' than I am but that's what I do and wear.
I have to be honest and say I've never had a time when looking like the video guy has been a major problem so I can't really answer to that.

Black shirt, black pants. Short sleeve long sleeve depends on the job and time of year. Summer weddings, short sleeve. Winter weddings, long sleeve. Summer seminars winter seminars, long sleeve regardless of whether I'm working in video world backstage or operating a camera out on the main floor.

Dark suit with white shirt and tie for a wedding always. Black shirt and trousers for disco or party, with black jacket for formal/business/civic events, with black tie if very formal. Anything else jeans and tee shirt, casual jacket and shoes.

The company i work for makes us wear a shirt that says "Video Guy" on it with a play button. Whenever I go out on a shoot, people always say, "hey it's the video guy." I hate that shirt, but it's great for marketing. They've trademarked the names "video guy" and "video girl"

Dark suit with white shirt and tie for a wedding always. Black shirt and trousers for disco or party, with black jacket for formal/business/civic events, with black tie if very formal. Anything else jeans and tee shirt, casual jacket and shoes.

I can't imagine doing a wedding or any other video job while wearing a suit. It just would not provide the freedom of movement that I need. Plus I'd waste so much time tucking my shirt back in or straightening up my tie every time I moved.

Personally I wear black slacks and a grey/blue/white work shirt with at least two sealable front pockets (fesh tape in the left, exhausted tapes go in the right pocket). I'll be getting some company T-shirts done up soon - dark grey or black with my logo on the front and company details on the back. I'll wear those for more casual jobs like shooting surfing or live bands, as well as giving a few to my friends who said they'd be happy to wear them around town for a bit of PR.

I never have a problem wearing a suit, I've always done it out of respect and consideration for my clients and their guests who will have made every effort on their day to look smart. I couldn't imagine wearing a tee shirt to the sort of weddings I do. No disrespect intended but I've always thought photographers who turn up at an expensive wedding in casual or inappropriate clothing are making more of a 'look at me' or 'I can't be bothered' statement. I find I can blend in with the wedding guests much easier if I am similarly dressed, but then that's just me. Mind you I am quite often asked for directions at hotels, or to fetch more wine during the meal.
I've always considered 'blacks' as theatre wear (i.e. when I've got to work in the stage shadows or in the auditorium).

This is not meant as a slight or criticism, everyone should work in what they feel comfortable in and in answer to the Laurence's question why worry about looking like a video guy, that's what you are and a camera on your shoulder or tripod is usually enough to give you away.

My best response to the OPs question is: just wear what you think everyone else will be wearing. As for the equipment...well, there's only so much you can do about that. Just try to keep it to what's necessary and no more (i.e. don't bring 3 mics and a mixer if you only need one), and try not to get too into people's faces (without missing your shot of course).

I think that's the best advice: wear what everyone else will be wearing. Second to that is all black. All black neat-casual is an accepted camera person uniform. If you are going to be on or near a stage recording a performance, wear all black so you don't show up as much on other cameras or look distracting to the audience. If I wore a suit to an event here in Hawaii, I would look like a crazy white guy just off the plane who doesn't understand local culture. Here, dark slacks and an aloha shirt are formal attire. Suit jackets are reserved only for people of importance in the event like a speaker or a wedding party. Wear what everyone else will be wearing - or all black. If you were to work at a music festival and wore a suit jacket, people would probably avoid you. If you wore a tuxedo to court, you would stick out like a crazy person. You don't want to be unapproachable if you are trying to get candid shots. Overdressing can be just as bad as under dressing.