Musings of a young black weirdo

Posts tagged ‘happiness’

One of my favorite quotations is from the second Fantastic Four movie. Sue Storm is talking to the Silver Surfer, and she’s asking him why he’s destroying all the planets. (I hope this doesn’t ruin the movie. Oh well.) He says, simply enough, “I have no choice,” and Sue Storm replies “there is always a choice.” It’s a really short exchange between the two characters, but it’s always stuck with me for some reason. We always have a choice. No matter what.

Every time something happens to us that seems to be out of our control, we complain instead of fixing things. Whether your boss cut your hours, your car is messing up, or you’re fighting with someone close to you, instead of doing something about it, you complain. But why? The quick answer is because we can’t help it, we can’t change things, or we don’t know how to change it. The real answer is because we are so comfortable (even in bad situations) that we don’t want to change from the familiar to something foreign to us.

Logic tells us that if something in our lives is bad, we’ll attempt to avoid it at all costs, but we see people and situations that prove otherwise every day. We all have that one friend that keeps going back to a horrible boyfriend/girlfriend, that one family member that is always in and out of jail, and that one co-worker that absolutely hates her job but hasn’t been looking for another. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we stay in unhealthy situations when we know those situations are taking a toll on our physical and mental health?

We’re creatures of habit. We would rather stay in a predictable situation than take a chance by changing something, even if it is for the better. Searching for jobs is hard, especially in this economy. There aren’t any good men/women out there and I don’t want to be alone. If I stop doing what my friends do, then who will I hang out with?

I know so many people that complain about living in Kentucky. How many of them have left or even made an attempt to leave? Not that many. Sure, most of those people are in school, but if KY is that bad, then get out. Credits transfer. You always have a choice. The choice isn’t always pretty. It may be full of difficulties and sacrifices. You might have to go to a more expensive school, lose your scholarship, get pushed back a semester, or meet new friends, but for some people, the change might just be worth it.

Take responsibility for yourself and your happiness. If you know a certain situation isn’t good for you, don’t let any person, place, or thing keep you from finding peace or pursuing your dreams.

Happiness is a choice. I think it’s kind of ridiculous that a lot of people somehow want happiness to be their default emotion. They want to wake up every morning and look like that guy from the “male enhancement” commercials. That’s not realistic. Some days, we’re gonna wake up happy because it’s payday, or because I got that “good morning” text, or because it’s still winter break. But happiness is conditional. Eventually, it won’t be payday, he’ll stop being so sweet every morning, and classes will start over. We’ll wake up once our happiness is over and go searching for something else to make us happy. And the cycle continues.

I don’t mean to sound cynical, but in most cases, things fuel our happiness. We think things will make us wake up every morning full of joy. Some people shop when they’re sad, and it makes them temporarily happy. Temporarily. Not permanently. I can’t think of one thing I own that’s had the power to make me happy.

Will Smith’s character in The Pursuit of Happyness wasn’t happy because he was making six figures. He was happy because he could provide for his family. I think that’s what his happyness was. That he didn’t have to see his child sleep on the streets anymore.

Some people think being happy is just not being sad or angry. Nobody wants to be sad. But sometimes, I think we have to experience those negative emotions in order to be happy. Have you ever been really sad/mad/frustrated but tried to act like you were happy? Usually your friends didn’t buy it. Your true emotions were written all over your face or played out in your actions. I think it’s ok to experience those negative emotions, as long as it’s not for too long. If we don’t work through what’s bothering us, how are we ever gonna get to the point where we’re happy?

I’m not really sure what makes us happy. Maybe we make ourselves happy. Even in the worst situations, if we choose to be happy, maybe we’ll actually be happy. Or maybe we have to truly be at peace with our lives and what’s going on all around us to be happy. I don’t know. All I know is happiness isn’t something you can buy at a store.