Online Dating Mistakes Men Make – Part 2

To continue with the topic of Online Dating Profile mistakes, below are some areas I’ve noticed that a lot of men are failing in (Besides Photos)

1. Grammar/Spelling Errors This is a huge pet peeve for most people and I shouldn’t even need to bring it up but unfortunately this tops the list for profile mistakes. Please fix your grammar, run-ons, spelling mistakes and stop repeating yourself. We get that you love sports from the first 5 times you said it.

2. Only using the “Wink” or “Like” Feature This to us says that you’re either too cheap to actually pay for the membership or too lazy to put in any effort into your love life. If you’re neither, then be a man and actually read our profile, then find something intriguing to say.

3. Sending a Vague/Generic/Lame Message Saying “hi” “what’s up” “you’re cute” isn’t intriguing. Please see above. Clicking on the “Message” box and typing “Hi” is still being lazy and still not being intriguing. Pasting in a 4 paragraph autobiography in addition to your profile qualifies as Lame also. The conversation piece of online dating is design to do just that – to converse. Be interesting. Show us that you read our profile. Let your personality come through in your initial contact.

4. Taking a Passive Approach in Online Dating Most females don’t and will not make the first move. If you’re waiting for the girl of your dreams to message YOU, you’re going to be waiting a long long time. Be a man, figure out what you’re looking for, search for her, and start the dialogue.

5. Taking too Long to Respond When you do begin a conversation online, please don’t have a week go by in-between messages. Once you lose the momentum, you lose the momentum. The girl won’t remember your joke from last week and if she’s actively dating, you’ve now hit page 10 in her messages and she’s not going to take the time to bring herself up to speed each time you vanish. This also says a lot about dedication and how serious you are about dating & finding someone. If you’re half-assing at dialogue, you’re not serious and will be half-assing at the relationship.

6. Taking too Long to Ask for a Date We’re online because we have a busy life. Please don’t waste our time with pointless small talk and chat sessions about our day. From the first 2 conversations you should know whether you’re interested in meeting in person. Step up and ask the girl out for a coffee date. This will prevent you and us from wasting our precious time and will hopefully put an end to the pathetic but highly entertaining shows like MTV’s Catfish.

7. Having a “Don’t Contact Me If” List If you really took the time to put one of these together, you’re doing something wrong. Either your profile is misleading, you’re coming off as a douchebag and are attracting the girls on this Don’t list, or you really are a Douchebag and shouldn’t be dating at all.

marina

4 Comments

Reading your blogs leaves me to believe that someone told you at some point that your direct style was refreshing and cool. I find it sad. It’s clear to me your over critical nature is simply frustration boiling over from a life that isn’t what you hoped it to be.

What you pretend is helpful is actually analyzing the small stuff, what’s most obvious, and petty. You don’t inspire, but rather take this forum to post your disappointment in not being confident yourself.

You’re not as busy, important, or in demand as you think. Relax and stop over analyzing.

Hi John,
Thank you for following my blog and sharing your thoughts. My direct style and approach isn’t for everyone – I agree. I can’t help or inspire every single person out there. I hope that a different blog will serve you better.
Cheers
Marina

Wow, is John someone that struck out with Marina? The advice in this particular post seems pretty sensible: try and be real. Strike up an actual conversation. I know it’s frustrating for many men when some women don’t respond. (I always try and send at least a thank you note for his efforts, though my strategy is NOT to give advice in what didn’t work for me, because criticism, even constructively, could be seen as increasing the pain of rejection.)

If some of this advice seems nitpicky, we are all sifting through many profiles or letters, and there isn’t enough time in the day to contact everyone. We have to have some criteria to sort who we give our time to. Those little nitpicky things may be all we have to go on to choose between person A, B, C, D, E, F, G, and a huge help in ignoring relatively tiny issues is how much the person seems interested (or interesting, or both). It doesn’t mean that someone is overly critical, it means that they have other things to do besides sit at a terminal all day or night.

I agree with you; not only is replying to each message almost impossible, is a waste of time, but it actually doesn’t accomplish anything productive. When a guy’s ego is injured, he’s very bitter and will only respond with something rude. Or, he’ll take your message as a green light to keep pursuing you and will up his efforts.

About Marina Lavochin

Why I’m obsessed with James Bond…

Growing up in Russia and in a religious family I had very limited access to tv or movies. My dad loved the James Bond movies and a few other series like Crocodile Dundee and Harrison Ford. James Bond was my favorite.

He’s always in control, very simple classic attire, doesn’t say much but speaks with purpose, and has a mission that no woman can get in the way of.