Tiger Woods and Domestic Violence

What the Tiger Woods controversy says about the state of gender politics

As the news of golf superstar Tiger Woods' alleged multiple affairs spills all over the media, a fascinating—and disturbing—subplot to the story has become a revealing litmus test of societal attitudes toward gender and domestic violence.

Persistent rumors allege that the November 27 car accident in which Woods hit a fire hydrant and then a tree while backing out of his driveway around 2:30 a.m. was linked to an assault on the golfer by his wife Elin Nordegren—and that the cuts and bruises on Woods' face were the result of the assault, not the accident. These claims have been strongly denied by the police and by others; the official version is that Nordegren rushed to her husband's aid after the accident and smashed the car window with a golf club to free him. Nonetheless, further tales of marital fighting will no doubt be fueled by Woods' confession on December 2 to unspecified "transgressions" against his family and by new allegations of a recorded voice-mail message in which he supposedly tells his mistress his wife has found her number on his phone.

Whether or not the assault actually took place, the truly remarkable thing is that some voices in the feminist corner of the media have rushed either to defend it or to excuse it. The Daily Beast website ran a piece by culture correspondent Rebecca Dana under the title "The Year of Women Fighting Back," asserting that if Elin Nordegren did attack her cheating husband with a golf club, she belongs in the company of other scorned or betrayed women who have stood up to their no-good men.

On Slate.com and its soon-to-fold female-oriented offshoot, DoubleX, journalist Hannah Rosin does not go quite so far as to cheer an alleged perpetrator. However, she speculates that Woods may have lied about the incident to spare his wife the arrest she would have faced under gender-neutral domestic violence laws—God forbid that "the glamorous Elin would be led out of their mansion in handcuffs"—and then proceeds to decry the absurdity of the gender-neutral approach.

Rosin readily concedes that if the roles were reversed and the rumors were about Woods assaulting his wife, even over a possible infidelity, "we would be a lot less ambivalent and complacent"—and if his wife had tried to cover up for him, we would appalled. But in her view, "all of these gender-dependent reactions make some instinctive sense."

Yet one person's common sense is another's noxious cultural stereotype. For vast numbers of people, it makes "instinctive sense" to feel that a mother with young children who spends long hours at work is bad mother but a father who does the same is a good provider, or that it is humiliating for a man but not for a woman to have a spouse with a more successful career, or that the opportunity to excel in athletics is more important to boys than to girls. One doesn't hear feminists defending these particular gender-based assumptions—quite the contrary.

Of course differences in size and strength can be legitimately taken into consideration in cases of assault, regardless of gender or relationship. A small, slightly built person punching a taller, heavier, more muscular person is far less likely to do damage than the bigger person punching the smaller one. But the male advantage in size and strength can be neutralized by a woman's use of weapons—such as golf clubs—and by the constraints inculcated in the vast majority of men against using force toward a woman, even in self-defense. To suggest that cultural complacency toward female-on-male violence should extend not only to slapping and shoving but to acts capable of causing serious injury is not only bizarre but offensive.

Chastising men's rights groups for using the Tiger Woods story to promote awareness of men as victims of domestic violence, Rosin dismisses the female abuser as a myth unsupported by "sociological research." Never mind that some of the most prominent sociologists specializing in domestic violence research, such as Murray Straus of the University of New Hampshire, have written extensively about abuse as a two-way street (though recognizing that male violence poses a higher risk of harm).

A review of hundreds of studies, published in 2000 by British psychologist John Archer of the University of Central Lancashire, found that women are as likely to initiate partner violence as men and that male victims account for a third of domestic violence injuries. But Rosin ignores this vast research, much of it done by women, in favor of a single "expert" on "the myth of the battered husband syndrome": Jack Straton, an assistant professor of University Studies at Portland State University whose Ph.D. is in quantum physics and whose background in domestic violence is that of a feminist activist, not a scholar.

Yes, Rosin admits, there are some female perpetrators, but generally "women tend to use violence as self defense, or impulsively, not as a systematic method of control the way male abusers do": while "they may slap a man or throw a cup of water at him," they are "less likely" to engage in real abuse. Therefore, she concludes, if Elin Nordegren really did assault her husband, the best course of action for him is to show "chivalry" and cover up for her.

Imagine the response to someone who tried to argue for a more lenient attitude toward wife-beaters who use violence impulsively rather than for systematic control—or who suggested that, since most male violence in the home consists of shoving, grabbing, or slaps without injury, a husband who leaves his wife with a bruised and bloodied face should be left off the hook. That person would be promptly denounced as an apologist for abusers. Domestic abuse may not be a "50/50 issue," as some men's rights activists claim. Even researchers such as Straus who acknowledge the reality and importance of female violence in the home agree that male violence toward women is rightly a greater cause of concern. But this does not mean that male victims do not deserve attention and services. A double standard that excuses female violence is not "common sense" but common sexism.

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125 responses to “Tiger Woods and Domestic Violence”

Come Cathy. You can’t confuse someone like Rosin with facts. I am suprised the woman can tie her shoes. If you have ever read her writing on child raising, you can only hope there is a God who will help her poor children get through life with a woman whose stupidity is exceeded only by her neurosis and self centeredness.

You have to remember that Rosin doesn’t read or think and never talks to anyone who doesn’t completely share her world view. So, there is no way she knows about any of the research you site or has any idea how the world outside her own bubble actually works. So cut her some slack.

It amazes me how naive and stupid people like Rosin are. I remember when I did legal assistance in the Army I saw several cases of domestic abuse of men. They were always little guys with big fat wives. No kidding. I had several clients whose wives beat the shit out of them and they refused to go to the police because of the humiliation involved. Anyone who doesn’t think that there are women out there who are willing and able to do men physical harm, is a complete moron.

Yes there is sadly. But lesbian domestic abuse is a subject that causes people like Rosin’s heads to explode. In her mind gay people are not real human beings with the same failings as the rest of use humans. They are all political symbols. All wonderful all American types who adopt disabled minority children.

“Rosin ignores this vast research, much of it done by women, in favor of a single “expert” on “the myth of the battered husband syndrome””

I am an old man and the only time I ever hit a woman was my mother when I was age three. She smacked me in the face telling me that I should never hit a woman.But if Rosen were my wife, I might disreagard my mother’s dictate because I think my mother (twenty years dead) would want me to.

Tiger has a hottie like that at home and he still wants some mistresses?

Talk about being spoiled sexually.

Re this: For vast numbers of people, it makes “instinctive sense” to feel that a mother with young children who spends long hours at work is bad mother but a father who does the same is a good provider, or that it is humiliating for a man but not for a woman to have a spouse with a more successful career

I run across people from time to time who think less of me because my wife earns well into six figures.

I try to steer clear of people who think lots of disposable income is a bad thing.

Show me a beautiful woman, and I will show you a man who is tired of fucking her. That is not entirely true. Some people never get tired of screwing their wives. But those are the people who married their wives for their looks and something else. If you are marry a woman for the single reason that she is hot and willing, you will get bored with her. That is what happened to Tiger I bet. He married the brutally hot simple girl from Sweeden who was Jasper Parnavic’s nanny. It was great for a while. But then she had a kid and wasn’t quite as hot as she was when it started. And the fact that she and him had nothing in common beyond his desire to fuck her and her desire to spend his money started to get old.

I don’t he was tired of it… I think she didn’t have the energy for what he was “used” to. Funny how two small children can be such a drain on that poor woman. Considering that about 50% of marriages end in divorce, from a rational standpoint, seems like a bad idea in general.

Jack Straton, an assistant professor of University Studies at Portland State University whose Ph.D. is in quantum physics and whose background in domestic violence is that of a feminist activist, not a scholar.

Can somebody explain what the Hell “University Studies” is? The term brings up the shortest article I’ve ever read on Wikipedia.

It isn’t really a question of whether there are “female abusers” or not. Even framing the question that way is a red herring.

The real issue is that most cases of domestic violence involve two violent parties – but only the man is labelled an “abuser”.

I observed many, many couples in high school, college and beyond where the female would become jealous or enraged at some perceived slight, would slap or hit “her man”, and then get punched in the head. I’m sure that these women consider themselves abused, and I’m sure Rosin would too. But I personally have no sympathy for someone who initiates violence because someone hurt their feelings in some way, and then doesn’t like the outcome.

In a former life I used to have to sit on a board that examined every domestic abuse case in an entire town of like 45,000. No kidding. What amazed me about the experience was how childish people are. People would get into fist fights over the TV remote control or one party hogging the internet. And in 80% of the cases both sides were violent. In 80% of the cases both sides had the mental level of a spoiled 9 year old. Rarely was there a case (although there were) of on truley abusive and one truely innocent party. Those happened but they were in the distinct minority.

Here in NoVa, there’s a story about how two priests got into a fight in their rectory, sending the older guy to the hospital with a cut over his eye. Jeebus, if priests can’t refrain from trying to punch each other’s lights out, it’s a wonder that the Missus and I usually only blacken each other’s eyes on St. Patrick’s Day and Super Bowl Sunday.

Any academic discipline described with two words, one of which is “studies”, is bullshit. A diplomate with GPA 4.0 in (fill-in-the-blank) studies will probably never obtain a job higher than fry cook unless he or she has serious political connections.

BTW, the Portland University Studies website advertises that its “education program teaches you how to learn.” It’s a pretty sad indictment that a kid can spend 13 years in state skools and, besides learning nothing, not even know HOW to learn.

I’m trying to think of a counter-example, and the only one that came to mind was “library studies”, which is how to organize a library; the Dewey Decimal System and so on. Then I realized that they actually call that “library science”.

a single “expert” on “the myth of the battered husband syndrome”: Jack Straton, an assistant professor of University Studies at Portland State University whose Ph.D. is in quantum physics and whose background in domestic violence is that of a feminist activist, not a scholar.

“Many feminists actively encourage violence against women.” PROVE IT. “They say it’s ok for women to attack men even though that is what causes a huge percentage of domestic violence against women.” PROVE IT TOO. “These dumb feminist cunts are encouraging women to get beaten.” PROVE THIS ONE TOO. “I don’t know one guy who hasn’t been hit by a woman” WTH?

Attributing the likelihood that Mrs. Woods attacked her husband because she found out he was cheating to concepts like domestic violence or gender-neutral violence seems to me contrary to “reason.” Real reason would require that we discover the circumstances that led up to Mr. Woods racing outta the house in his SUV.

Unfortunately, we’ll likely never know those circumstances, although what the couple insists is a private matter culminated in Mr. Woods smashing into a very public fire hydrant. What’s genuinely unreasonable is for the public celebrities to demand privacy after very public acts. Musing about domestic violence is the poor alternative to privatizing those public acts.

The morning I awakened to the shocking news of Lorena Bobbick’s carve job on her cheating husband I remember my wife giggling and I covering my groin in mock horror. All quite amusing until I started thinking about what my reaction would have been if the carving had been man on woman. Like most others I’d been shocked and truly dismayed demanding the monster be hanged.

Another thought: How many TV ads, shows or movies get cheap laugh lines with men getting kicked in the groin from some gal. Quite amusing, and I usually laugh myself. Now imagine a guy doing likewise to a gal for a laugh? I don’t think so.

I was living in NoVa (northern Virginia) at the time. Lorena Bobbet didn’t cut off her husbands’ penis for cheating on her. She did it because he had repeatedly forced sex on her despite her saying ‘NO’. iirc, she testified he had told her that even if she left him, he would find her and do that to her again.

One commentator said that if she had shot him instead, it would have been just another domestic violence statistic, and no one but the DA’s office would paid attention.

Back to the main subject, it’s just not OK to hit your sweetie, male, female, or trans. I was in full sympathy with a friend who divorced his wife after she repeatedly slapped him. Yeah, she was half his size, but it still hurt, it was still violence, and it destroyed his feelings for her.

Giving a female the boots in the bisquit is at least equally painful as a man taking a shot to the gonads. The way that today’s Western Female carrys on more than a few of them should be acquainted with this feeling.

My only point is that if you take the Bible straight, as I’m sure many of Reasons readers do, you will see a lot of the Old Testament stuff as absolutely insane. Even some cursory knowledge of Hebrew and doing some mathematics and logic will tell you that you really won’t get the full deal by just doing regular skill english reading for those books. In other words, there’s more to the books of the Bible than most will ever grasp. I’m not concerned that Mr. Crumb will go to hell or anything crazy like that! It’s just that he, like many types of religionists, seems to take it literally, take it straight…the Bible’s books were not written by straight laced divinity students in 3 piece suits who white wash religious beliefs as if God made them with clothes on…the Bible’s books were written by people with very different mindsets…in order to really get the Books of the Bible, you have to cultivate such a mindset, it’s literally a labyrinth, that’s no joke

My only point is that if you take the Bible straight, as I’m sure many of Reasons readers do, you will see a lot of the Old Testament stuff as absolutely insane. Even some cursory knowledge of Hebrew and doing some mathematics and logic will tell you that you really won’t get the full deal by just doing regular skill english reading for those books. In other words, there’s more to the books of the Bible than most will ever grasp. I’m not concerned that Mr. Crumb will go to hell or anything crazy like that! It’s just that he, like many types of religionists, seems to take it literally, take it straight…the Bible’s books were not written by straight laced divinity students in 3 piece suits who white wash religious beliefs as if God made them with clothes on…the Bible’s books were written by people with very different mindsets.

A while ago when their son was born and they had a family portrait made with everyone and the dogs, I assumed to myself, “Finally… a sports personality that is a family man first and foremost, and genuinely has a wonderful family life.” Boy, he sure had me (and almost everybody else on the planet) fooled, didn’t he? It really is just very sad, specifically for those kids.

Vista Maria is an organization dedicated to restructuring the lives of victimized girls. They are a great resource that can be very helpful for girls dealing with domestic violence and physical and sexual abuse. Please check out The Need on their website at http://www.vistamaria.org.

Good post. The particular early morning My spouse and i woke up for the stunning reports of Lorena Bobbick’s define work to be with her cheating hubby From the my wife joking and I addressing my genitals inside model terror. All fairly amusing till I started considering just what my reaction could have been if the making was man on female. Similar to most other folks I might been recently amazed along with actually dismayed demanding the particular beast end up being hanged.

When families are in turmoil like this, I always worry about what the kids are going through. Sometimes in situations like this getting them out and far away is good. Sometimes a boarding school can be very beneficial in a family situation like this.