To The Mum Struggling …

I want you to know you aren’t alone. I know it feels like you are, and that you are facing this dark cloud completely alone, but you’re not. I want you to know there are lots who are suffering, maybe it’s so dark that you can’t see each other but they are there. There are some of us who have been in that darkness and managed to find our way through, and now we stand shining light for others. Helping guide you to one another, so that together you can support each other, and find your way out too.

I want you to know that people do care. I care. I see the faces of mums, and I feel their pain. I know that feeling of despair and hopelessness. I read their stories in the messages I receive and my heart aches that someone is feeling those same feelings I once felt. Let me tell you, you may feel that no one cares about you, you may feel you aren’t worth anyone’s love. This couldn’t be further from the truth. That sweet baby cares, they love you. Even at times when you struggle to settle them, and you feel a failure, you’re not, you aren’t a bad mum. When they drive you crazy, with their tantrums and screams, you aren’t a bad mum. And that child LOVES and cares about you.

I want you to know I hear you. I hear your calls for help, even when it’s a whisper. I want you to know you deserve to be heard and your thoughts DO matter. Please Speak up and ask for that help you deserve. There are people who can help and will listen.

I want you to know I see you. I see the sadness in your eyes and wish I could see sparkle instead. You deserve happiness and to enjoy these precious moments. I see you putting on the mask, being brave and acting like all is ok. I see you are exhausted from pretending that you are fine, and that you wish someone would notice that you’re struggling. I see you looking at your baby and instead of feeling joy you feel fear, feel overwhelmed or feel nothing. It’s ok, it won’t always be this way, it can get better by asking for help.

I want you to know it’s ok. It’s ok to admit that you are finding it difficult. It’s ok to say it’s hard because it is, it’s ok to ask for help.

I want you to know I understand. I have been there, I survived and you can too. I have sat alone looking at my beautiful baby and feeling utter fear, an overwhelming responsibility and questioning whether I did the right thing by becoming a mum. I have cried myself to sleep, wishing that I wouldn’t wake the next morning and dreading the moment I wake to have to repeat the same day all over again. I have felt anger at the world, questioning why do I feel this way, why me? Why do other mums seem happy and I’m not? I have been so terrified by my new life that I’ve struggled to leave my home. I have been consumed with darkness, I have felt hopeless, that life will forever be a long grey tunnel, but let me tell you, it won’t.

I want you to know it WILL get better. Ask for help, speak to someone, a loved one and your health care provider. You deserve to be happy and you can be. It won’t be easy but it will be so worth it. And there are people who can help you and support you along that journey. People who have been there and have come out the other side who can offer you hope. So please, please reach out, don’t be afraid, you will pleased you did.

Most of all I want you to know you are loved. You matter. You are important.

xXx

If you are struggling please speak to your GP, Health Visitor or Midwife. If you want to talk to someone urgently then call Samaritans UK on 116 123 – they are available 24/7 and calls are free.

Published by Sarah

Lotus Petal Family Support is a peer support network based in Essex, UK. Aiming to provide, support, friendship and advice to help those suffering postnatal depression get the help they deserve. We are volunteering and working to raise awareness and help improve perinatal mental health services in Essex.
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