Saturday, October 30, 2010

okay, it's not actually shocking. it's 5 am and i can't sleep. i actually haven't been to bed yet. i waited up to see if my fiance and roommate would come home from clubbing in hollyweird in one piece, and was never quite able to doze off. and, in my personal experience, it's better to get up and DO something when you can't sleep, rather than lay there and think about why you can't sleep, and visualize murdering the person next to you who is blissfully and ignorantly sawing logs.

where was i?

oh yes.

so i decided to do a quick writing prompt that i found in a friend's blog, instead.

it's a thinker, folks.

"Show the most recent picture of you and list 15 random things about yourself."

okay, most recent picture:

there. my dirty secret is out. i'd pretend i'm all embarrassed by this photo, but since i spent a good few minutes making it earlier and it is currently my facebook profile picture, i'll just say this:

i regret nothing.

now for the 15 random facts:

1. it's raining like a mofo outside right now. some might say it's reminiscent of a cow pissing on a flat rock. but then, not everyone can have the eloquence of my father.

2. i love weird socks. toe socks are my favorite, with stripedy socks coming in a close second. third, would be my candy corn socks. i have 4 different pair, and i am legitimately torn over which pair to wear each day.

3. i have had my facebook language set to "english: pirate" for the past two years. the only time it gets in the way is when a friend asks how to access something and i have to tell them to go into "yer ship's plank."

4. i am a horrible wine drinker. i like all the wrong kinds of wine that most wine snobs (winers? wineys? winos?) turn their noses up at (though i do stop short at arbor mist and wine in a box. which i'm told can be lovely, so really, it's probably just a matter of time.) but next time you eat something spicy, try a moscato. this is especially good with curry.

6. i am currently the owner (along with the fiance, of course) of a singing fish, an inflatable moose head, and a can of spring snakes. also, we have a giant leopard print rug. because we like to keep it klassy.

7. i have 8 tattoos.

8. and i want more.

9. i hate crowds. i really, really hate them. there usually comes a point where, if i am surrounded by enough people, i will just stop and cover my face and yell for my fiance until he comes to get me.

10. i have had many people close to me pass away. and while this is really sad, i am so, so lucky that our paths crossed for the brief time i had them in my life. i am a better person for it.

11. movies i could watch over and over again include: almost famous, the kevin smith jersey series, practical magic, wizard of oz, and zombieland.

12. after i finish doing this, i'm going to go bake a cake. because what else do you do at 5:30am when you're up?

13. when i was little, i got in a pretty bad bike accident. to this day, it severely affects me to see other people fall off their bike or hit their head. i was watching 19 duggars and counting the other day and their little girl fell off her bike, tumbled down a hill, and gashed her face up. i almost threw up. i have no idea how my future children will ever be allowed to ride a bike.

14. i like every kind of music. it's just as common to find me watching the CMA's as it is to find me watching the Grammy's or the AMA's.

15. i don't like pizza. for some reason, this horrifies people. i think i just served it so many times over the years to the elementary kids i worked with that i am now offended by the smell.

there now. don't you feel so much closer to me, having read that?

now if you'll excuse me, there's a cake to bake. and maybe then i'll be tired enough to squeeze a nap in.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

okay, it's not THAT kind of living situation. my fiance and i share a 3 bedroom house with two other boys. one is very tall, and i have known him for many years. the other is almost as tall, and is fresh outta the military. they both love their units very much:

why? what did you think i was talking about?

living with boys has it's ups and downs. one of the downs is that they are considerably louder than a girl. even your most nerdy, geeky, hacker of a boy comes with his very own set of sounds and none of them are quiet. it's like an episode of the Batman TV series in here.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

This was my grandma Betty Lou's chair. This is where she liked to spend most of her last days, out on her patio, surrounded by plants, windchimes, hand decorated birdhouses, gurgling water from the small pond behind her, and hoards of people who loved her.

people who LOVE her, i should say. because after all, how do you stop loving someone just because they're gone?

i wish this was one of my funnier entries, about ninja kicking serial killers in my shower, or getting kicked out of someplace because of my quick temper and loud mouth.

but it's not.

my grandma died. and i'm sad. and it sucks.

betty lou was my mom's stepmom. we always just called her betty lou or betty, since we had an overabundance of grandparents. and names really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

what matters is the way she always talked to and treated my brother and i like we were important. we weren't step-anythings to betty. there were always fun, kid friendly activities planned so that we could have FUN.

what matters is how she used to make mickey mouse pancakes, and bacon in the microwave, which is a skill that still baffles me to this day.

what matters is how she used to let us sit in the "middle front" of the cadillac, and push all the buttons on the console. being the mini-trekker that i was, i loved pretending i was controlling the USS Enterprise. I'm sure this drove my papa crazy.

what matters is how full of LIFE she was. she had interesting stories and anecdotes. she was so spunky and fun loving! we would go whale watching and to old town san diego and to ensanada and even if she didn't partake of a particular activity, she was there actively cheering you on, and taking pictures.

what matters is how she would start to hum a tune, and my papa would chime in, humming the base line.

what matters is how huge her heart was. it didn't matter who you were, you were family. and you were welcome. and did you want to come to the zoo?

after she passed last weekend, i heard my papa refer to her on the phone as "something special." in a way, this sums her up nicely, and in a way, it doesn't really at all. it's almost too vague, but if you were to get specific, you could write a novel that dickens would say was too long.

she was strong, vibrant, and colorful. she was also sweet, loving, and warm.

and i'm sad and it sucks that she won't be at my wedding. she was one of the few who wouldn't roll her eyes to hear of my plans.

and i'm sad and it sucks that i have to go shopping for funeral clothes.

and i'm sad and it sucks that i am once again intimately familiar with the sound of my own soul screaming.

that patio didn't seem to sparkle in the sun the same way it did before she passed. and i'm sad. and it sucks.