Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content, language, some
teen drinking and drug references, and brief violence. Running
time: 101 minutes. Two stars out of four.

Somewhere inside "I Love You, Beth Cooper,” there lies a
high-school comedy in the same vein as the great John Hughes movies
of the 1980s.

Under the staggeringly mediocre direction of Chris Columbus
("Home Alone,” the first two "Harry Potter” movies), it never
springs to life.

All the pieces are in place: the nerdy guy, the popular girl,
the quirky friends, the all-night adventures and the obligatory
house-trashing bash. But the pacing feels stagnant and the antics
simply aren't inventive enough.

There seemed to be potential from the start, too, in the script
from Larry Doyle, based on his novel. Instead of spouting generic
platitudes about chasing your dreams, geeky valedictorian Denis
Cooverman (Paul Rust) uses his graduation speech as an opportunity
to tell head cheerleader Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere) that he's
secretly been in love with her since the seventh grade. He also
gets some sly revenge on the kids who've tormented him his whole
life by calling them out for their cruelties and insecurities.

The fact that this actually happens — that it's not just a dream
sequence — signals the possibility for bold and surreal humor. And
Rust has an endearing underdog goofiness about him without being
too hyper or ingratiating. (The casting of Alan Ruck, Cameron from
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off,” as Denis' dad is a nice throwback
touch.) But the rest of the movie plays out rather flatly and
predictably, as Beth finds herself intrigued by Denis and they bond
over one wild night with their respective friends in tow. Car
chases, nudity and many illegally procured beers ensue; the evening
has its moments.

But a running joke involving the sexual orientation of Denis'
sidekick Rich (Jack T. Carpenter) is never funny; neither is Rich's
propensity for quoting famous lines from movies, along with the
year they came out and the director. ("Say hello to my little
friend,” again? Really?) Beth's ditsy buddy Treece (Lauren Storm)
gets some amusing lines, while the other member of the
school-ruling trinity, Cammy (Lauren London), feels like an
afterthought.

And then there is Beth Cooper herself. On paper, she's meant to
be revealed as far less perfect than Denis had always imagined her.
Beautiful and perky as she is, she probably peaked in high school,
and there isn't a lot for her to look forward to — community
college, maybe, if she can afford it. She's dating a 'roided-up
jerk (Shawn Roberts) because it's what she thinks she's supposed to
do. She was probably written as a real person: Everyone went to
high school with girls like this.

Panettiere is insanely cute as always and the camera does adore
her, but she hasn't developed the dramatic chops yet to make Beth's
human frailty believable. And so Beth Cooper remains an elusive
idea, even to us, rather than the kind of anchor this movie could
have used when it shifts from adolescent wackiness to sweet
poignance.