Big- and small-name DJs spin sets powered by portable generators, the vibrating thump traveling across miles of cloudless sky. Cacophony is the cheerfully tolerated norm, but there's one sound that's frequently met with eye-rolling derision: the ring of a cellphone.

And so it comes clear to me that I shall become a DJ. And the tunes I spin will be the sound of an iPhone ring tone. For hours and hours.

I'll spin a super low frequency versions that rattle the desert floor, and ultra high frequency versions that only the young ones with no onions on their belts can hear. And trance versions that just repeat it over and over until they cry out in longing for the brown acid which has been reported to be bad.

And because I'm a DJ I shall be accepted, and because I play iPhone ring tones I shall be rejected, and the universe will tear itself apart.

Burning Man has the potential to be really interesting, but I get the feeling that it would be horrible due to everyone trying to out attention whore everyone else.

Probably a lot of people screaming "Woooooooooo!!!!!" at the top of their lungs for no reason. When did that start? When I was young if you went around screaming "Wooooooooo!" for no reason, they would lock your ass up.

I think that would just give me a headache.

/ And the smell.....I imagine it's worse than the monkey house at the zoo.....// I sound old

MrHappyRotter:No plumbing? How do people bathe/shower? What about after poop clean-up? And sweating all day long. And, oh my god, I just puked a bit at the thought of what sex would be like with someone who hasn't bathed in days, has been sweating the whole time, and hasn't been able to properly clean the stink spots, which by this point have grown to encompass the whole body.

As an old fart, I find it amusing how many people have a cell phone glued to their ear 24/7. And, they all look like they are passing on vital info on exactly where the bomb is planted, when in reality, most conversations are a variation of "what are you doing? Nothing, what are you doing?"God forbid some virus shuts down the wireless transmission network for a day or two, suicide prevention landlines would probably redline.

I had a friend who went years ago late 90's or early 2000's and he enjoyed himself. And I think some of the art projects look interesting, but I am just getting too old now to enjoy the insanity.

/ Plus, nobody wants to see silver painted, mid 40's, old man balls

Yep.Somebody up thread posted maybe 20 years ago. I am at that age.A few years ago I was kneeling down and I reached in my back pocket.I mentioned to the girl 'I am getting old'.She said what do ya mean.I told her i reached into my back pocket and I felt my balls.

Barfmaker:Big- and small-name DJs spin sets powered by portable generators, the vibrating thump traveling across miles of cloudless sky. Cacophony is the cheerfully tolerated norm, but there's one sound that's frequently met with eye-rolling derision: the ring of a cellphone.

And so it comes clear to me that I shall become a DJ. And the tunes I spin will be the sound of an iPhone ring tone. For hours and hours.

I'll spin a super low frequency versions that rattle the desert floor, and ultra high frequency versions that only the young ones with no onions on their belts can hear. And trance versions that just repeat it over and over until they cry out in longing for the brown acid which has been reported to be bad.

And because I'm a DJ I shall be accepted, and because I play iPhone ring tones I shall be rejected, and the universe will tear itself apart.

Rip Dashrock:As an old fart, I find it amusing how many people have a cell phone glued to their ear 24/7. And, they all look like they are passing on vital info on exactly where the bomb is planted, when in reality, most conversations are a variation of "what are you doing? Nothing, what are you doing?"God forbid some virus shuts down the wireless transmission network for a day or two, suicide prevention landlines would probably redline.

No plumbing? How do people bathe/shower? What about after poop clean-up? And sweating all day long. And, oh my god, I just puked a bit at the thought of what sex would be like with someone who hasn't bathed in days, has been sweating the whole time, and hasn't been able to properly clean the stink spots, which by this point have grown to encompass the whole body.