Trying to find my way…

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? … While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do….”~Apple Commercial

“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”~Ursula K. Le Guin

I guess you could say that I’m at one of those points where I’m trying to find myself and to figure out what comes next. As I’m starting (what should be) the last year of school, I’m a bit apprehensive because I don’t know what I’m going to do next. There are several options available, that are waiting for me to take the time to explore them. But, I guess then the real issue would be that I don’t have the time.

It’s that time again- where you realize that school REALLY has started, that you do have assignments and that they do matter, that sleep might be scarce, and that coffee might need to be supplied in abundance. Gone are the leisurely afternoons of summer, the mornings where you sleep in, where you choose what you want to do. Now it’s all about what needs to get done, where you need to be, and what time you need to be there.

As I said before, I know that most of my apprehension comes from not knowing what I’ll do next. My parents are pressing me about life details (insurance, investments, housing, JOBS) and for the first time I don’t have an answer. Maybe I’ll teach after this (pending successful passing of the Praxis II- we’re still praying, the results aren’t in yet). Maybe I’ll go back to school and work on the Ph.D. Maybe I’ll find a job with a nonprofit that has a mission that I’ll believe in.

It’s not that I don’t know what I want to do. I do. My career and life aspirations have never been clearer. It’s just figuring out the path to get there (and when you can take SEVERAL paths, that makes it even more difficult). Why can’t I just dance through the questions, and slowly, one day, arrive at the answer?

its good that people are there to try and influence you and help you make decisions in your journey in life. But in the end the decision you make in any decision has to be what u feel is going to be in your best interest.”You can’t let anyone live their life through yours.”