5 Rusty Trombone Sex Positions That Will Change EVERYTHING

If you don't know what a Rusty Trombone is, sit down: There's something very important I need to tell you. A Rusty Trombone is analingus (yep, butt-tongue stuff), with a simultaneous hand job around front.

To make this a good thing and not the exact opposite:—Wash. Make sure your partner has had one hell of a good pre-scrub.—Discuss first. Surprise anal anything is never the good kind of surprise. —Do not (even if you really, really want to) make a trombone sound.

Here, five variations on the beloved Rusty Trombone.

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1​ The Classic Trombone Solo

Katie Buckleitner/Rachel Johnson

Have your partner stand with his legs slightly spread while you kneel behind him. Give him some slow, exploratory licks, circle your tongue around his butt hole, and press a flat tongue over his perineum (the area between balls and anus) to see what makes him groan the most. Reach around with a lubed-up hand for a simultaneous HJ and 8 million bonus points.

2The Two-Handed Tongue Twister

Katie Buckleitner/Rachel Johnson

If you want to go a little deeper, play the trombone with him on his stomach. He elevates his butt for you by getting on his knees while you straddle his back, facing his feet. Lube up a finger and slide it inside him, curving it so it's stimulating his prostate (a spongy raised area about 2 inches in on the upper wall). With the other arm, work your hand around his shaft. This is a good position if you're not into accidental semen in your eye, because the double stroking will make him orgasm like a fire hose.

3The Clean and Jerk

Katie Buckleitner/Rachel Johnson

He kneels down like he's on the receiving end of doggy-style sex. Make him hold on to his ass cheeks and spread 'em for you if you're feeling bossy. Face to bum (yes, again), give him long strokes on his peen at the same time. If you're in bitch goddess mode, throw in a few firm swats to the ass.

4The Snorkel

Katie Buckleitner/Rachel Johnson

If you're going all in with your tongue, you're gonna want be in control of when, how much, and how deep. Have him lie on his back with his knees bent, propping his hips up on a couple pillows. Place your tongue on his butt, with your hand stroking his penis. If everyone's feeling it, it's OK to point your tongue and slide it into his butt. Also perfectly not OK too.

5Rusty Trumpet

Katie Buckleitner/Rachel Johnson

Yes, this is a real thing — also known as "you getting yours." To redeem, go ahead and sit on his face facing his knees. (Hold yourself up a little so you don't, like, suffocate him.) While he attends to your bum, have him make a C shape with his free hand. With his thumb stroking inside your vagina, a few fingers can get to work on the outside too. The RT truly has something for everyone.

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