promo: "Scarred Memento" (2003)

Smiling at the arched dagger
Even if unorthodox, feeling the slashed arteries
Standing where evil was brought to his knees
Gloom slowly filling every atoms of uneasiness
Sneering at once trusted emotions

(Actually sat on a concrete bench in broad daylight
Killing time, spending existence in searching void)

I wonder how life will be, with a hope that dies eternally
Reality fading, my grasp flutters on logical failure
Degeneration of humanity flowing within, with hymnodies and similes
Cataleptic true being, fleeing toward introspection

From which point of view have I been expelled from?
Resenting failure even while succeeding, possessed by the inevitable
Suicided darkness, as left a myriad of unfoldment
Anguish seems to sooth while refracting

It is so cold here, no warmth to flatten the desire in life, only pale
Reflections of neverwere, clawing toward the unavoidable
Calculating my own downfall, with upheaval balance
Everyone seems to own a piece of heaven...

Incapacitate my own synthesized judgment:
Reality strikes forth, idled before my (assigned) kins, urban decrepitude
Again and again, paying the debts of my humanity
Lost in understanding of wondering (How can I endure?)

And haunted I am in this dead world of ever-raping kindness
It is the " how " I now foreswear
Flows more sadness from a tortured whiteness
Than a conclusive and, futile, colourless life ...---...

It all began at the age of innocence
When beauty around me mesmerized my every senses
In a time where curiosity prevailed
And where I wondered how splendid it would all become
Fragile happiness of the lighthearted
Weightless, sparkling with unfoldment, sheltered
Passionated with blooming hopes of artlessness

Early on I started feeling disquieted when surrounded
Not as if I had something uncommon or dysfunctional
But because I didn't seem to correspond to any acting role
I wasn't able to deal with the predefine or unalterable
So I would rarely share my inner sanctum with any outsider
And that's why I start sinking into dreams
I still vividly remember how easily I was distracted from physical world
I carried on, trying to figure what was wrong
Nothing seemed to explain or sooth the angst
Like if I had been born cursed of heart in an alien world
Many times I have found myself studying those of my kind
And so on, I mimicked their habits to be left alone
Experiences weren't strong enough to support my toughs
So I left everything and let myself fall inside:
That's when negativity and darkness started pouring in
A storm of twisted hateful toughs started inhabiting my life
I craved vengeance and obscure forces around me
That's where I first skimmed the potential of solitude and bereavement
This unearthly feeling which had materialized
Through shades of vicious self-violation
I had roused at that point something I couldn't even harness

Much as happened since then, perspective morphed, darkness coalesced
I don't think I was part of evil
But maybe the purest lightsource, wasted
By a darkness so easily re-creatable through deceived hopes

This slab of existence might sound exacerbate or epic in retrospect from far away
But if you were part in any way in this nightmare, don't ever cross my path again.