How can you scream if you don’t have a mouth? (Jenny, toddler mom)

When I was little my dad bought my sister and I two porcelain dolls dressed in velvet Victorian clothes because “they looked so much like each of you”. Apparently he thought we looked liked porcelain dolls that had been tortured by clowns to the point of insanity and then doped up with Thorazine to stop our endless screaming. Lisa’s doll was blonde and mine was brunette and both stared into nothingness with their big, dead eyes and unsettlingly somber frowns. Some nights I’d wake up and see them staring at us, certain that they would soon come to life, suffocate us and then eat us. Demented toymakers have been building these sorts of disturbing toys for years. Frightening automatons, stuffed (literally) animals, satanic crafts, and terrible, terrible monkeys. Who, you might ask, would let their kid play with something like that? Well, apparently I would.

You know when you’ve seen something a million times but then it’s turned in a certain way or juxtaposed with something else and suddenly you see it again almost for the first time? Maybe out of the corner of your eye you see something like this:

“Run, Tigger. Run for your life.”

When Hailey got this “Boohbah” as a present last year I thought it was odd but she was fascinated with it. You press its foot and it makes some unearthly noises like it’s speaking in tongues as it lolls its round, oversized head around like it’s having a seizure. Then, just for kicks I think, the boohbah creators decided to add a large number of pimples (or possibly small pox pustules?) all over its giant bald head.

However, to witness the most troubling and terrifying aspect of the boohbah you must peel down that furry roll of neck fat which hides its terrible secret.

Holy. Crap.

Remember in the Matrix when Neo was being interrogated by Agent Smith and his mouth got sealed completely shut and we were all totally freaked out? Yeah. Imagine that in a doll…a doll made for toddlers.

I’m tempted to toss it but Hailey loves it. Or she’s been possessed by it. Regardless, it remains in our house for now…sounding more and more demonic as the batteries wear down…and I comfort myself by repeating “It might kill me, but at least it can’t eat me.”

Oh yeah. Those things are whatsits non grata at our place. They give me the right creeps. NC used to set them all off whenever we’d go down the applicable toy aisle, much to CX’s delight and my horror. Yeech.

Oh, man. I’m creeped out now. I’ve never liked porcelain dolls and you reminded me of why: the dead eyes. And the evil Boohbah without the mouth reminds me of that Twilight Zone clip where the girl has no mouth (I can’t remember why). I had nightmares for weeks after that, even though I was a teenager at the time.

p.s. — is it me or is that Boohbah’s head glowing?

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I was totally looking for that twightlight zone picture to go with this story but I couldn’t find it. Freaked me out too.

Definitely be on your guard as those batteries wear down. Hearing “Fire me up!” (from the talking grill) at 3 a.m. scared the wits out of me; I can’t imagine waking to the nocturnal, unprovoked ramblings of Boohbah.

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I always get the 3am “Hi! I’m Leapfrog!” as the cats brush-up against that talking caterpillar…and then 5 minutes later the creepy “bye-byyyye” as it shuts itself off. That’ll wake you out of a dead sleep. ~Jenny

Josh and I were actually appalled to receive a life-like doll as a gift for Joey. A friend had given it to Josh at a poker game. We opened it when he got home and saw two huge dead doll eyes staring back at us. Both of us were calm and collected at first. But, niether of us new where to put this doll. We agreed that it shouldn’t go in Joey’s room–for fear that it would, yes, eat her….So, we stuffed it in the back of our cupboard and shut the door. We since returned the doll to Mastermind and bought some less frightening replacement toys….The stupid thing smelled like vanilla, too….Ugh.

The grill will start talking all by itself as its batteries run down. Daniel’s went loco in the middle of the night while my husband was out of town. I threw the **** thing in a deep closet and covered it with luggage til I could change the batteries the next day.

That was hilarious. I always wondered what you’d find if you rolled down the hairy neck-fat of a Boohbah. Yeck. I also know what you mean about the porcelain dolls. I never had any as a child, but my sister buys them for her daughter who’s a few years older than mine and she’s recently begun sending them to my daughter for gifts (birthday, Christmas, etc.) The last one was so creepy. Her face was like a freeze-frame of a girl who’d just found her pet cat gutted and hanging from the ceiling. My daughter doesn’t really want much to do with it and she’d break it if she played with anyway, so what’s the point??

Yeesh. We have Purple Boobah and Yellow Boobah here, along with scores of other nicer dolls. I bought the Boobahs for $2 each on sale and I swear they’re my 2 year old’s favorite dolls. You’d think she’d be creeped the hell out by them, but no. It’s too weird.

My five-year-old son LOVES the TV show. Have you ever seen it?? I think it’s probably targeting a much younger demographic than five-year-olds, for one. But for another, the PEOPLE in BOOBAH are just as creepy as the Boobahs themselves. *shudders remembering*

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I have seen it and I honestly thought I was having an acid flashback. ~Jenny