Monday, May 30, 2011

On Saturday, my wife, I, and 1000 of our closest friends ran the first in a series of five 5K races in the Phoenix area. The big running club in Phoenix coordinates a series of short races throughout the summer that are meant to be pretty low frills (like me!) but also cheap (also like me!) during the rather slow (me again!) summer months. They are a steal at $35 for the set and offer everything that you'd expect from a 5K - with the exception of a shirt. Considering that I don't wear pants 50% of the time, I figure one less shirt won't do me any harm.

This summer, these races are primarily going to be fun runs for me. I'm not going to take them too horribly seriously - partly because my wife is going to be running all of them with me and I'd rather run with her vs put myself through 18 minutes of torture.

I seriously need to hang out with these guys more often - look how tall I look!!!

My wife and my son killing time before the race. My wife has a blog, my son does not

Before we knew it, it was time to strap everyone into their respective running strollers and head to the starting line. The first race in the series is a reverse age graded start. Sort of like a skirt chaser race but with age instead of naughty bits deciding the starting time. So, the older people start first and the youngest of the runners are some of the last to cross the start line. I think the goal of this type of start is to have everyone finish at approximately the same time. The actual result: mass confusion with a chance of an elbow to the side of the head. To give you an idea of how poorly executed this was, the jogging strollers start FIRST. That is sort of like peeing into the wind - just doesn't make sense.

Here is a picture of us running about 1/2 of the way through. As you can see, we were getting passed by quicker runners in the dirt while sharing the running path with other runners on the left.

Poor race design aside, the race went off like a hitch. We finished in 44:01 using a combination of running and walking. The course is the same as my Freeze Your Thorns Off / Sweat Your Thorns Off 5K so it was very familiar.

As expected, the first mile was rather relaxing - Jeff and I were able to crack middle school level jokes and push each other into the bushes while giggling about the word fart. However, the second and the third miles were a joke - people were zooming past us which made me nervous to make ANY sudden movements or waiver from a straight line.

Once we finished and grabbed a water, everyone scattered. Things to do, babies to feed. However, as I was chatting with Adrianne about her KILLER 4 min PR, a glimmer of light caught my eye - not unlike a fishing lure, nudity on TV, or blinking lights.

One of these things is not like the other..... Sparkle sparkle!!

This episode brought to you by the number: 1980! If you noticed the chick rocking the purple leggings, then your 80s radar is pumping out more juice than a flux capacitor. Honestly, I wasn't able to catch her to see what her story was without looking like even more of a stalker so instead I (literally) stopped mid sentence with Adrianne and started snapping pictures. Hilarious. Way to show those girls in the booty shorts who is boss!

Way to own it. Now, lace up your high tops, hop in your Delorean, crank the Cyndi Lauper, and take some notes in your trapper keeper, because the 80s will NEVER die

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comments:

Wow, that is quite the sight-seeing trip...all the way back to the 80's! I didn't know anyone still had a leotard like that stashed away or shiny tights. Too bad she wasn't rocking a side pony tail to complete the look!

The 80s lady and her Marty McFly friend (complete with down vest) were in front of us at the start. My running partner and I were slowed by the extreme heat but we would not be bested by those two. Best part of the race was passing them and not looking back!

Brilliant race organization. I don't think you are joking, but that is ridiculous. Speaking of which, you Phonenix-ites sure are fashion plates. I used to like it when I was in college and the girls from Phoenix would come to SD on Spring Break with their big feathered hair. I wonder if EMZ used to do that.

Legaleeeeese

This blog is meant for entertainment purposes only.For that matter, it even does that half-assed.I am happy to provide advice and tips, but have no technical "training" to provide medical or professional advice.So, ask away - I love to help.But, if you get hurt, can’t blame me!!