On July 17th a bill was passed in Santa Barbara, California banning straws from restaurants. This was a major eye opener for many of us here out in the mid-west, where we have an abundance. Evidently, in California, due to increased religious freedom restrictions, wildfires, and the LGPTQRSTUV movement, straws are evaporating, or being stolen.

According to the new ordinance, if you give one of these precious items away to your "customers" [read: co-conspirator] you are in severe violation, and will be penalized, up to twelve years in prison, several spankings, and a large sign in your front yard, shaming you for peeing yourself when you were age four.

But there is hope to this shortage crisis! You can order straws and have them sent directly to the council members and mayor of Santa Barbara! It's easy!

Simply go to Amazon and help us end the crisis. Please order 1 (one) box per council member and mayor.

Mayor & City Council

P.O. Box 1990Santa Barbara, CA 93102-1990

You can find individual listings below. Don't just send them all to Cathy Murillo though. She may be one tough cookie, but she can't horde ALL the straws. Make sure Jason, Randy, Oscar, Kristen, Eric, and Gregg have some as well.