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It’s Takes a Village (or a List Serve) to Raise a Kid in this City

This is a Maternity Monday post by guest blogger and teaching artist Jess Levey. This series publishes almost every Monday on Beccarama.

Well, we are getting VERY close now, just a month or so to go. And, although I have had to endure waves of anxiety due to financial stress and fears (and sleepless nights and sciatica!), I remind myself often about how freaking exciting this all is! The baby is moving like mad, especially at night, and I am connecting with him/her more and more. Later this week we will be getting another sonogram just to ensure that baby is head down, and I am so psyched to have the opportunity to see what he/she looks like these days! Surprisingly, another factor contributing to my excitement is my new membership in the neighborhood parent Yahoo! Groups. I have joined 4 of them, my favorite being the one from our own neighborhood, and then three from the surrounding Brooklyn neighborhoods. Every list serve is full of parents happy to offer support and hand me downs. It is truly incredible.

So far, we have received 140 Seventh Generation diapers ($20), beautiful crib bumpers, a mattress pad, and a brand new mini crib mattress (all free), A slightly used breast pump with brand new tubing and accessories ($60), and an amazing Maxi Cosi infant car seat ($40), which I had been wishing I could afford to buy after seeing it at the Biggest Baby Shower. Of course, every day there is more and more offered for free or very cheap, but I need to hold back, at least until after my own shower this weekend, after we have our baby and find out if I need bags of boys clothes or bags of girls clothes (usually around $10). Aside from all the stuff, the support is incredible. There are mom groups forming each month (hoping dads groups too!) and people constantly offering their advice about anything from how to navigate the daunting NYC school system to how to get your baby to sleep through the night. And, since people also use these list serves to offer their services, I have booked two private photography teaching gigs (moms needs to learn how to use those cameras!), and my husband has booked two family portraits gigs.

It’s amazing to me that after two weeks of heart heavy anxiety over the coming baby and our finances, I just needed to reach out to our immediate community to help ease my mind. Knowing that there are hundreds of people surrounding us with such a generous and open spirit is both comforting and encouraging and I can’t wait to give back to them (but I guess it will have to wait until after baby #2!). I am curious if other cities and/or suburban areas around the country utilize these helpful list serves?? Please let me know. If not, I sure do hope that this post motivates you to start your own!

I just received an email from a mom who said it all so perfectly, this is what she wrote:

I just wanted to make a public statement of thanks to everyone that I’ve interacted with since joining the listserv this summer. Our family was able to acquire/purchase most everything we needed from other caring parents. Nearly everything we purchased or obtained was in excellent condition. Pricing was always fair or even free! Our interactions ranged from polite to instant friendship. I am grateful to the group at large for making so many of the needed items available. If you recognize my name, consider this a special thanks to you. May you be blessed with long life, good health, and easy-to-raise children.

I know we are all in the spirit of giving, but I have a feeling this is how it works all year. With that I wish you all an amazing holiday season full of support and love!