Last night we threw my soon-to-be 4 year old son a party. We hired a big hall and invited everyone in his Nursery, only one person didn't come - and all the parents were there too. My partner did most of the planning because I am useless at that kind of thing. The party went amazingly well, all the kids had fun and the parents thanked us many times. My son had an brilliant time and got lots of presents.

Now I have lived with some truly destructive social phobia which got worse when I got ill, I couldn't talk to new people and people of an authoritative nature made me feel insanely inferior. The past few months I have been working really hard at boosting my confidence, I have stuck to a healthy diet and taken nootropics (legal cognitive enhancers). After all the hard work, yesterday I was the most confident one there, it has really paid off - I believe I have truly beaten such a crippling, nasty affliction. I dressed up as a pirate; with a beard, an eye patch and a bandana (no parrot unfortunately) and scared the life out of all the kids. I had to individually comfort them to assure them that I was a "nice" pirate lol.

A few months ago, I would've either stayed at home and let my partner deal with it, or hid away from everyone. This time however, I entertained all the kids going around checking they were all okay - making sure nobody was left out. I served drinks to all the adults and spoke to them with no signs of embarrassment (I normally shake and go bright red whenever I talk to someone I hardly know). I was going deep into conversation with so many people who would normally make me feel like crap.

For me, this is a huge achievement and today I am buzzing with life. The best part is, my son got a fantastic party and everyone enjoyed it.

It's hard to be optimistic when there are all these clouds attached to my silver lining.

Well done King. I used to suffer from chronic shyness when I was younger so I sort of know what you were going through and how difficult it is to overcome. I still get uncomfortable in crowds (although you probably wouldn't want to stand next to me at a football match ) but I can at least now function in a group and even appeared on stage a few times. It sounds like there is a bit of an actor in you so have you thought about joining an amateur dramatic group? It does wonders for self confidence and you can 'hide' behind the costume.

Glad the party went so well, btw, and I hope your son enjoyed it.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

That's great KingCarrot, I'm very happy the party was a success and you enjoyed it too.I'm very bad with people, I never know what to say and when I say something I always have the feeling I've said the wrong thing. Connecting with others sometimes is the most difficult thing. Cheers to you!!

@penfold - I used to take Drama at school because I love acting but never followed it up due to anxiety and being so introverted. I would love to do something like that though, it would be great - I like working with kids too as they are around the same mental age as me lmao.

It's hard to be optimistic when there are all these clouds attached to my silver lining.

I just KNOW what you're looking for is MORE advice on how to overcome shyness but I would recommend if you want to continue on this track you look for a local Toastmasters Club (or another similar forum). In case this isn't widely known outside the U.S., Toastmasters is a club where people can come to practice honing their public speaking skills. You can either deliver a prepared speech or participate in 'improvisational' exercises. Everyone receives feedback on their speeches in a completely constructive way. Since many people there are shy or feel socially awkward, it's one of the most supportive forums around. The more you speak, the more confidence you get. I belonged to one at a former employer because I needed to lead meetings of large groups of people, and it totally improved my confidence to a point where I no longer fear talking in front of audiences.

Thank you, It sounds like a great tool for self-improvement, it's definitely something I will consider. The only problem is that I would probably make up some REALLY insane speech and start talking about flying toasters or something...

It's hard to be optimistic when there are all these clouds attached to my silver lining.