Like a moth to the flame burned by the fire, I was drawn to the pink and red camouflaged can of Four Loko. That or I had just finished listening to Janet Jackson. Either way, I wanted to get my drink on and 12% alcohol by volume with caffeine in a 24 oz can looked awesome hiding behind a glass door at the Kangaroo gas station. (They're website rocks btw.) I had heard of Four … [Read more...]

By now you all know that I'll drink pretty much anything in the name of alcohol research. Joose, Jungle Joose, Steel Reserve and my personal I-was-too-drunk-to-give-a-crap-favorite, The Poor Man's Black And Tan. I've sampled all of the aforementioned beverages because of my passion for finding and drinking beer and malt liquor with high-as-giraffe-balls alcohol content. Up … [Read more...]

Recently I spent a week in the Blue-Ridge mountains, free from the bondage of cell phones, Internet and other equally useless crap. I spent my time kicking back in a log cabin with the family, hitting trails during the day and the hot tub at night. And you know what? We decided to pay a little something back to the local community by picking up a couple six packs of Blowing … [Read more...]

Ok so last night my wife sent me on one of her crazy pregnant woman missions for one of Burger King's new Icees. I reluctantly put on my flip-flops, got in the car and drove to BK only to discover their Icee machine was broken and that The King has now decided to sell ribs. Yes. Ribs. And you get them in a french fry container. I had come this far and there was no way I was … [Read more...]

I've always regarded beer in the same way most people people regard sex and pizza. Even when it's bad, it's good. I have never in my life spit pizza out of my mouth in disgust, nor have I ever stopped mid-thrust and said, "This is really bad sex. I gotta go." I also solemnly swear that I have never tasted a beer with such a pungent aftertaste that I poured half of it into the … [Read more...]