The idea may have crossed your mind, but unless you've made a serious attempt and had your actions effectively thwarted, you didn't "almost" do anything. It's not unusual to play with thoughts of suicide. They're silly little fantasies, brought on my stress, the feeling of hopelessness, and the wild ever clawing desire to escape from the responsibility of sleeping in the metaphorical bed we've made ourselves.

When I relied on trains to get me from place to place, I'd fantasize about throwing myself in front of them each time one came barreling past. The "not stopping" sign would flash, and I'd get to daydreaming. Because, death is easy. I don't think it's so much that you want to die, but, more likely, you're feeling overwhelmed, and longing for a simple quick fix for your problems. It's only natural.

I'm sorry that things are tough right now, but you'll pull through one way or another. Things always, always get better - Be it that they improve, or you adapt. One way or another, things wont seem so hopeless as they do now, given a little time past. You can usually count on that.

You should've followed through with it you selfish little prick. Give the people that care about you one last big issue along with the assurance that your self absorbed antics will no longer continue waste their time. If only they knew how little they mean to you.