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“Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls…
Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria.
On stage, we have Freddy the Bear, Chica the Chicken, and Bonnie the Bunny, here to perform just for you. So sit back and enjoy the music while you chow down on our award-winning extra-cheese pizza.
And if you’re feeling up for a voyage, sail on over to pirate cove, where Foxy the Fox will be your best mate-y.
By remaining in your seats at this time, you do hereby agree that FredBears pizzeria is not liable for any damages, bodily or otherwise, that may occur to you or your child during your stay. Enjoy at your own risk.
(ahem)
Alright, so uh, put your hands together for Freddie and the Fazbear band.”

3pm, the children all flock in
They think my guitar licks are rockin
They all think I’m cute as a button
Bugs is past his prime; I’m the bunny now