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If you’ve had sleepness nights wondering what kind of horrors I’ve been eating, wonder no more. This is the thing of true nightmares. Tinned meat. Its unique quality is that it manages not to look or taste like meat at all. And no, of course I didn’t eat this…it went straight into the bin and I doubt even a freegan would take it out again.

Friends have been rightly concerned for my health on a pound shop diet. Hell, I’m concerned.

So I have started doing some research into Scurvy. Yes scurvy the condition that is rarely seen in modern western society but might be resurrected in Holloway. Basically it is a deficiency disease that results from insufficient intake of vitamin C. Sailors were susceptible to it as they were on ships for long periods without fruit or vegetables. They were cured with barrel loads of citrus fruit.

Are you ready for the symptoms? Those of a sensitive nature may wish to skip the next paragraph.

Scurvy leads to the formation of liver spots on the skin, spongy gums, and bleeding from all mucous membranes. The spots are most abundant on the thighs and legs, and a person with the ailment looks pale, feels depressed, and is partially immobilized. In advanced scurvy there are open, suppurating wounds and loss of teeth.

Oh. My. God. I think I could manage without my teeth but seeping wounds?

Interestingly, Guinea Pigs also lack the gene that makes vitamin C and so can contact scurvy if not supplemented with the vitamin in their diet.