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Thursday, August 29, 2013

MIRACULOUS MAY PART II - GRATITUDE

Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I have tried to
write. Actually, I’ve written bits and pieces here and there, but I just
haven’t been able to get a post together. This was one attempt at writing this
post, but I only ended up getting started:

I don’t even know where to start. I
am sitting here during Nami’s first tuber resection (basically his second brain
surgery in this round), finally feeling like I may be able to write. I know
this post is a long-time coming and I apologize for not writing more frequently
lately. My train of thought over the past weeks has been something like this: “What
to say? How to begin? What is real…my nightmares…my dreams? It’s all blurred
together. Time doesn’t make sense to me. My head is so fuzzy…my emotions all
over the place. I lose my train of thought. I don’t make any sense. I can’t
string any cohesive thoughts together.”

There were so many moments in the
months, days and weeks leading up to the surgery that I felt I couldn’t take
another step forward. I was emotionally, mentally, emotionally, physically,
and, uh, emotionally depleted. I didn’t know that type of exhaustion existed. I
swear that even my hair and nails were tired.

I’m surprised I made it through the
last month of school. I apologize right now to all my students who had me last
semester as I was not at my best. Actually, I was a scatter-brained mess…times
10. I had hours and hours of…

Well, that’s as far as I got. Now I don’t even remember what
I had hours and hours of. Probably hours and hours of being on the
phone trying to arrange everything between the insurance company, hospital,
doctors, etc. trying to get them to agree to the procedures. So far, I’m not
sure what good that did. Since being home, every bill I’ve received from New
York has been denied by my insurance. I’m so excited to spend hours and hours
more of my life trying to figure this out!

Although we’re already now into a new school year, I cannot
move on to future blog posts without writing the next part of MIRACULOUS MAY PART I. It was an out-of-body experience to be on the receiving end of such
generosity. The school and community pulled together in a way that I have never
witnessed and it was all in the name of our son. Although I was always filled
with extreme gratitude, it was uncomfortable for me at first to be
receiving so much attention. I finally relented to the continual thought in my
head that was yelling at me, “IT IS SO HARD TO ACCEPT HELP! BUT, IT’S NOT ABOUT
ME, IT’S ABOUT NAMI. I CAN’T ROB NAMI OF THIS HELP JUST BECAUSE I’M
UNCOMFORTABLE!” I was finally able to start enjoying each moment after that
because it wasn’t about me. It was about a young 4 year old boy who was
suffering from nonstop seizures and a community of loving people who wanted to
help him. What was even cooler was that it just happened to coincide with
Tuberous Sclerosis Awareness Month.

There are no words to express the gratitude I feel for all
the sacrifices everyone made for our little family during May’s fund-raising.
Here are some excerpts of what I wrote for the school newspaper:

To
The PGHS Community:

Our
family has been so overwhelmed with gratitude during the last couple of weeks.
We feel such a sense of love and community. I have thought long and hard about
what I could say or do to express how grateful my family and I are to all the
students, faculty, staff and community for the service they’ve rendered us. But
there are no words to express how we feel. Anything I come up with seems
trivial compared to the relief that this service has brought to us.

There
are too many highlights to mention them all. The rivalries of the penny wars
were hilarious and livened up the last month of school. I loved hearing excited
students come and update me with news about who bombed whom and how everyone reacted.

I
felt like I was pushing a celebrity in the stroller at the carnival. The warm
welcome of Nami was amazing. All you students were so great with him and I only
hope that he will have such great peers to accompany him through school.

There
have been so many heart-warming stories: from people emptying their piggy
banks, cleaning out their houses for change, digging through garbage cans and
going to neighbors for cans. And then the seminary got involved with their own
penny wars competition and went crazy. We loved seeing the gym packed with
students and adults enjoying an all-nighter of volleyball. We are grateful to
all the clubs and organizations that have incorporated this cause into their
programs. What a sacrifice to take some of the light off your fantastic groups
to spotlight Nami.

We
are in awe of the time and effort that so many people put in, especially during
the last month of school, to help us. Thanks to the faculty and staff who are
spending valuable time they could be grading or closing up school to support
the activities. There are so many anonymous people who have donated items, time
and money and this is a big THANK YOU to each and every one of you! The
financial support has lifted a giant burden. Even more than for the money we
thank you for the emotional support and joy you have given us. There is
laughter and smiling in our home. This experience is a bright spot in our
lives. Your demonstration that you care has given us courage and strength. We
will continually reflect on your goodness as we face future difficulties while
Nami endures this incurable disease. I am blessed to be in the company of such
great young people for my career. The future is bright in the hands of PGHS
students. I’m so proud to call PGHS my school!

Much
love from the Vimahi Family

WOW!

There is no way for me to spotlight all that went on because
there was so much. I gave a good overview of many of the happenings at the
school in my last post, but believe it or not, there's even more:

One of the sweetest experiences was with the
special education students. No one was more understanding or compassionate
toward Nami as these wonderful kids. They have so much empathy. One student
frowned so big with sadness for Nami when he met me.

Companies and individuals from the community generously
donated money and goods when they caught wind of the story.

People used social media to spread the word, and
we were constantly hearing from my family and friends how people that they knew
heard from someone else that they knew that…

Poor Rock Canyon Bank was bombarded with more
pennies than you can imagine and they joyfully counted them all. I even heard
that their workers would throw in some change for the cause. Thanks for helping
us out!

A bunch of darling kids decided to do a lemonade
stand in Nami’s name. Thanks kids! Your hard work paid for one of the nights in
New York for Nami.

During the month of May I kept thinking, “Things like this
don’t happen to people like us.” Every time I feel like I can’t take another
step forward, I have the month of May, 2013 to look to and gain strength to get
through whatever challenges we’re facing. Every single person that contributed:
big and small; known and anonymously; with money, time, notes, gifts, spreading
the word, supporting the events, saying encouraging things to us, giving us
hugs…THANKS TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!

.

About Me

I’ve finally decided to put it out there…cathartic for me and possibly helpful to someone else. I have often felt the urge to share our stories but feared being vulnerable. The experiences I share in my blog have had a profound effect on my life and made me who I am today. Even though I never thought I would write a blog (my writing skills are not that great, I use too many of these “!” and these “…”), I feel compelled to try, even if it is only useful to me and possibly my family.