Carlos Marmol dropped 515 pounds in the offseason. He dropped 15 of his own pounds and he dropped the 500-lb gorilla in his pitching arsenal: his mystifying cutter – not mystifying the way his slider can be (Where did that thing go?), but mystifying like theremake of Footloose (. . . Why?). Dale Sveum and pitching coach Chris Bosio claim to have already worked with him on ways to keep his pitching motion (and hopefully his attempts to frequent the strike zone) under control, and he alluded to the possibility that the cutter could be gone for good. Just the Superfriends being the Superfriends.

I was told this would never happen again!

The Cubs are introducing dynamic ticket pricing for bleacher tickets this season, which means someone who paid close to $100 for a premier ticket could be sitting right next to someone who paid only $10. This has to hurt bleacher elitists who have been enjoying the country club that is premium bench seating without invasion from the groundlings. Oh, but it should help the Cubs make as much money as possible. I'll let you draw your own conclusions about the merits of a business making money.