VideoGamer.com Plays 3 March 2014

Something new. Something old. Something blue.

Brett Phipps, staff writer on Sportra.com, believes he can beat me at Mario Kart 7. While he may have a chance to provide me with some competition, Mario Kart is the only game that I'm actually any good at.

Given that we now have to battle at some point next week, I've returned to the 3DS version to polish up on my skills. Aside from the original, I genuinely think the DS iterations of the series are the best it's ever conjured up, even when Nintendo just tweaks the process by do something simple - such as adding a glider vehicle. There's just something about it that wins me over time and time again.

It's difficult to say too much about The Stick of Truth without running the risk of spoiling the joke, so I'll try and keep it brief: Obsidian's game is [censored], hilariously [censored] and possibly the [censored] use of a TV license I've ever [censored]. The scene involving the [censored] is particularly [censored]. So yes, if you're a [censored] fan, definitely consider [censoring] it up when it [censors] this [censor].

This week I reviewed both Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 and Dead Rising 3: Chaos Rising. Both were disappointing, to say the least, which isn't great considering the high hopes people had for MercurySteam's sequel and the missteps Capcom's zombie title continues to make.

I'm still only playing FIFA 14, although I'm very tempted to start Castlevania Lords of Shadow 2 or South Park. Anyway, back in FIFA land I'm working through my third season in Ultimate Team, racking up coins to spend on packs. I realise that spending money on packs might not be the best way to build the team you want, but it's so much more fun. Opening the new packs delivers a few moments of glee and hope, usually then ruined by the realisation that you've wasted 7,500 coins on players you don't need.