Category: Healing from a Miscarriage

Happy Monday!

First off, here’s a quick bumpdate for all my readers:

Every week is a HUGE milestone and blessing. It has almost been two years since our miscarriage and I never thought being 25 weeks pregnant would be possible. Sometimes I have to pinch myself and remember that God really wants this baby here and I am going to have him! Nathan reminded me of that early on. I don’t remember how he phrased it but it was something on the lines of “you don’t need to worry, God wants you to have this baby”. That gave me so much comfort and I’ve recited that in my head ever since I heard it. Mother’s day can be a very difficult time for some women, here is a post I did around this time last year, A Mother’s Day After a Miscarriage.

Today I wanted to share my thoughts on Babylist registry. I kept seeing ads for this neat website on Pinterest and various baby ads. I decided to take this free quiz they offer that gives you a personalized registry. The results were very close to what I would register for but of course we didn’t need everything it showed. But the website intrigued me, so I kept looking into Babylist.

Simply put, Babylist is similar to Pinterest (but in registry form). It comes with a “button” download and when you are on a site and see something for your baby, you push the “Add to Babylist” button. This allows you to add items from websites like Etsy or Target. It also allows you to shop around and find exactly what you want, not just items from 1 or 2 stores. Sometimes it shows other stores the item is available at for price comparison.

I am at step 1 in the registry process. I’ve almost completed my registry but no one has visited it yet because our showers are later on. I have loved it so far and once I get feedback from family/friends, I will update a review on their opinions.

The website is very organized and easy to use. I love being able to edit and customize categories. I even made a category for “maternity leave”. You are able to add items such as home-cooked meals, babysitting, gift cards for food places, cleaning services, etc.

I love being able to register for items from Etsy. From monogrammed items to handmade items, the ability to support crafters is fantastic.

Babylist is very personalized. You can leave notes on each item to explain why you want it or what it will be used for. You can leave a message at the top of your registry for your family/friends.

When pushing the “Add to Babylist” button, it gives you a customized pop-up that allows you to put the item in the appropriate category (or make a completely new category), change the quantity, leave a message about the item, and change the title.

The registry is done in the comfort of your own home! You don’t have to visit stores and find the best registry. This allows you to shop everywhere and simply search from your computer. You also don’t feel the pressure from a salesperson. However, if you do have questions or concerns, Babylist has a very helpful staff.

They will send you 100 free shower inserts!

They also give you a fun countdown for baby’s due date!

The mobile app is very nice! You can search stores right from the app and download items that way if you are on the go and think of an item to add. I have never had any trouble with the app and love the suggestions they show.

Do you want to check out my registry so far? I’m still working on a few things but you can look at what I have now: babylist.com/marylee.

Happy Monday!

Where have I been?? It’s been a busy past few months and I’m sad to say I haven’t had time to keep up with the blog. I finally have a schedule where I have the time. I’ve gone through two job changes and I am very happy now. I have more time to blog and share what is going on in our life.

Now for the big news… it’s not a job change. 😉

We are expecting a baby in August!

Nathan and I couldn’t be more thrilled… and nervous of course. Nathan has been so supportive and understanding of my nerves. Pregnancy after a miscarriage brings on many fears. I’m constantly questioning anything I eat or drink, I was frightened to go to the bathroom for several weeks, not wanting to lift a thing over 10 pounds, etc.

I’ve been doing a Bible study that has given me comfort and taken away these fears. I have learned that worry and pain aren’t natural to pregnancy. Jesus wants us to enjoy pregnancy and not believe the lies from the devil.

If you have worries from pregnancy or anything else, look into God’s word and find the comfort you need. It is good to research and learn about what is going on in your body but balance those worldly words with the Word of God.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

“The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him. To all who call on him in truth.” Psalm 145:17-18

Here’s a little progress from my belly:

I love these pictures because I so wanted a little change each week but I think I’m finally seeing a little bit. =)

I’m glad I could share the news! Be on the look out for some posts in the near future! Have a wonderful week!

Hello all!

I hope you all have had a great start to June! It has been a busy time for my family the past couple weeks, but all great things for sure! Nathan and I have started our own DJ business called Mister and Mrs. DJ. Find us on FB, Twitter, and Insta (all @misterandmrsdj). It is going to be a thrilling side business to do with my wonderful hubby. =)

I am sorry to say that I am going to make you all wait ONE more day to see the After of my mom’s closets. Before I post tomorrow, review the Before.

As for today I want to share 28 BRILLIANT Travel Hacks. A lot of people will probably be traveling this summer and these will sure help you as you prepare for your trip.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE these hacks. Who else is thankful for awesome hacks that people post online? They have solved so many problems!

I want to end today with a Bible verse. A special friend over at Beneath My Heart wrote a sweet post about her adoption that will be taking place very soon! They are selling precious t-shirts to help go towards their adoption. It reminded me of the HOPE I have for having a baby some day.

Romans 15:13 – “I pray that the God who gives HOPE will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in him. Then your HOPE will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

May 27th marked a year for my miscarriage. I had mixed emotions on posting that day. It technically lasted for several days, so I don’t associate it with that one day. This past year has been full of changes and growth. Having HOPE can help you through a difficult time. Don’t hesitate in emailing me if you want to talk! It helps to share your story and talk to someone that has been in similar shoes.

Thank you for reading! Remember to sign up for email updates and follow me on social media!

Happy Mother’s Day!

As Mother’s Day approaches this year it has brought up emotions from my miscarriage 11 months ago. This time last year I was pregnant but didn’t yet know. Once I did find out I was pregnant, I had hopes of being a full-time mommy and being able to enjoy holidays in a new way. I am a huge planner and when life takes a turn that I wasn’t expecting, it tends to hit me hard.

I trust that God has a plan for my life and that when the time is right, I will get to be a full-time mommy and enjoy those sweet holidays. Jeremiah 29:11 is constantly in my heart because it gives me comfort when things don’t go as I have planned. Of course I have a ton of weak moments that involve impatience and worry. Thankfully my husband is always there to remind me to give it to God and relax. TRUST in his plan.

In the midst of sorrow, it is hard to be positive but I try my best. Try things like surrounding yourself around positive people, eat organic and low-sugar foods, take warm epsom salt baths, pray, read, exercise, and get plenty of rest. I truly believe these things can help your overall well-being. Most of all though, put your faith in Jesus Christ and remember he loves you and has a plan for you.

For now, I want to say happy Mother’s day to my sweet mom, Linda and my caring mother-in-law, Donna. I love you both. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without my mom. I was often called “Little Linda” as a kid from my sisters and that will always be a compliment to me. She is a gift from God. Nathan wouldn’t be the man he was without his mom. She is thoughtful and giving. He’s a spitting image of her too! (These lovely photos are taken by the talented Scott Walz of http://studiowalz.com )

My beautiful mom and IMom and her girlsNathan and his momma

If you are childless and have experienced a miscarriage, infertility, etc, know that you are not alone and it is normal to feel pain during times like these. Feel free to email momentswithmarylee@gmail.com and share your feelings with me!

I will leave you with this sweet picture of a handkershief my mom had made for me on my wedding day. It’s a lovely phrase from one of my favorite childhood books. She always reminds me of her love and it brings me so much comfort.

Today I am sharing 5 Ways to Prepare for a Natural Miscarriage. You might have been told by your midwife or doctor that you are having a miscarriage. Maybe it is early in your pregnancy or maybe they don’t feel like a D&C is necessary, so instead, it has been decided to complete it naturally. In our case, we hardly knew anything about pregnancy and to find out we were having a miscarriage, we were completely lost. After our first ER visit, I remember going home and not knowing anything about the next couple days.

Intense pain, heavy bleeding, sadness, worry, etc. I didn’t know these things would be so extreme. I remember having the feeling that everything that was happening was not real. It didn’t feel like this nightmare was happening to us. I am sharing some tips that will help you as you go through a natural miscarriage.

5 Ways to Prepare for a Natural Miscarriage:

Be in a comfortable environment. Dress comfortably, have a comfortable recliner, bed, or couch, have a stress-free house. You should have someone watch over you and help you. Accept the help! Receive the blessing and relax as much as possible. Thankfully my husband was able to take time off to stay with me for a few days.

Have a collection of overnight pads (do not use tampons). Bleeding can be very heavy at times. You will notice it is not just blood, it is mainly tissue. It can look very alarming but know that it is normal. Keep in contact with your midwife or doctor about the amount of times you are changing your pads. They will want to know in case you need to come in to have tests done.

Definitely have pain pills on hand when the pain gets intolerable. Take it before the pain gets extreme so you can stay on top of it. Advil is strong enough unless your doctor/midwife prescribes others. I never expected the type of pain I had. My contraction-type pains were off and on for a week. I also used a heating pad to control mild pain. I also suggest eating healthy foods and drinking natural beverages. Stay away from fried and greasy food, soda, alcohol, etc.

Light exercise will help with the pain. I remember pacing around my parents house at full speed and it helped control some of the terrible feelings. If you can manage, try walking around and walk off some of the pain. It can be hard to have that motivation. Have someone there to hold your hand and encourage you.

Pray, pray, and pray. Having Jesus at the center of every situation will help you get through any situation. I also believe in reading scripture to find comfort. Here are some comforting Bible verses:

Jeremiah 1:5: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb, before you were born I set you apart.”

Ecclesiastes 11:5: “Just as you do not know how the life breath enters the human frame in the mother’s womb, so you do not know the work of God who is working in everything.”

Isaiah 49:15: “Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you.”

Matthew 5:4: “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”

Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Romans 8:18: “I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

Romans 8:28: “We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to His purpose.”

If you are going through a miscarriage or are having a hard time from one in the past, please email me and we can chat. I have really been blessed by all the emails I have received. Feel free to reach out to me again! Have a blessed week and remember that you are loved!

Today I am sharing 7 Tips for Your Marriage After A Miscarriage. This post came to me after my husband and I visited a marriage event this past weekend. It was called Love Worth Fighting For, featuring Kirk Cameron and Warren Barfield. It truly encouraged our marriage. We have had a year of giant ups and downs but have remained strong together. We completely owe that to our father, Jesus Christ. Through a miscarriage, new job, stress over money, surgeries, etc., I feel our marriage growing stronger.

We decided to make this event our Valentine’s presents to each other. We also purchased these awesome t-shirts (with matching wristbands ;)). We’ve decided to wear them a lot this February. You can find them here: The Love Shirts

Nathan is the love of my life and I am so blessed to be able to call him my husband! Our miscarriage was a huge learning experience for us. Nathan had never seen me in that much agony and I know I scared him at times but I am so thankful he stayed by my side the whole time.

I am going to share some tips that I believe will keep your relationship strong if you are going through a miscarriage or any type of loss. The type of pain you experience through something like a miscarriage can be hard on a marriage. The most important thing I learned from Love Worth Fighting For is to fight for your marriage! Don’t ever give up on each other.

7 Tips for Your Marriage After a Miscarriage:

Give each other time to grieve. Some people take longer to grieve than others. Don’t rush each other and don’t feel bad for not being at the same point. It’s okay to be at different stages in grief, as the female or male. Take as much time as you need. Accept help from others and be there for each other when sadness really takes over.

Go away together. After I was cleared by the doctor, Nathan and I took a small trip to Gatlinburg, TN (one of our favorite relaxing spots). The car ride was great for talking or just listening to music. We didn’t have to cook or clean. We had no worries. Make this trip memorable by doing something in memory of the one you lost. Either by some type of memorial item or doing something that you will never forget (ride in a helicopter, go on a trolley ride, bungee jump, etc.). Be with each other!

Grieve together and share your feelings when you are ready. Cry and question things together. Don’t force each other to talk when the other one isn’t ready. Some people take longer to share their feelings than others.

Remember milestone days, some have harder times during these days than others. When your due date comes around, Christmas, your birthdays, or any special time for you, it can be very hard coping with not having a baby in your hands. Some have a harder time at this than others. Understand your spouse and be there for them. Don’t push them, but instead be understanding

Be patient. Don’t lash out at each other. Some people have anger. I definitely had anger at times but Nathan was always there to remind me that God watches over us.

Seek outside help. Talk to a pastor, counselor, therapist, etc. They are there to help people talk through difficult times. If you don’t know what to talk about or how to bring things up, they will help you! I highly encourage this.

Pray together. Lastly, but most importantly, keep God at the center of your relationship during the good and bad times. Remember that God holds your future and he is going to take care of you.

Have you gone through a hard time with your spouse following a miscarriage or another difficult loss? Try these tips and I pray that God has his hand on your marriage and future. Fight for your marriage and don’t give up on each other!

When you find out you’re pregnant, many people feel like they need to hesitate in doing certain things or holding back telling people. You might have fear over the worst possible outcome. I am here to tell you 5 hesitations not to have if you are pregnant. I have had a miscarriage and I don’t regret the ways we celebrated and prepared. It is okay to celebrate and be happy early on.

Don’t hesitate in telling your close family and friends that you are pregnant. I would wait sometime to post on social media but when it comes to those close to you, why wait? When something horrible happens in your life, don’t you want them there? I took a pregnancy test by myself and when I found out, I was very shocked and could not hold it in. I surprised Nathan that same evening and loved his sweet reaction when he was scratching his head while looking at that test. We told our parents probably a week later, then our siblings and some close friends shortly after. It is still easy to feel alone during a miscarriage but the more people you have for support, the better.

Don’t hesitate in buying and preparing for maternity/baby things. Before we even found out I was pregnant, I purchased an awesome like-new changing table from Goodwill for $15. I love it. It hurt for a while to see it after the miscarriage, but honestly I know it is just an item and it can be for the future. It’s also available for our sweet niece and friend’s baby. I also purchased and received a lot of maternity clothing. Those aren’t the only things we purchased and we don’t regret any of them. It’s probably obvious I am a planner. 😉

Our Changing Table Goodwill Find

Don’t hesitate in talking about baby names or ways to raise your children. Nathan and I talked a lot about ways we would raise our children and we even came up with a long list of boy/girl names we loved. We still talk about these things today. Don’t let fear hold you back from talking and planning about your future as a parent.

Don’t hesitate in going to the doctor. I was recommended in waiting 8 weeks before going to the doctor. Although that is completely normal, if you feel like you should go early, go! It’s okay to get an official test and blood work. You also might want to try a few doctors/midwives out. I wouldn’t rush to the doctor as soon as you find out but don’t wait 8 weeks if you don’t feel like you should. It is your pregnancy and your choice.

Don’t hesitate in being healthy and taking prenatal vitamins. I was also told I didn’t need to rush into taking a prenatal vitamin. If you are thinking about getting pregnant, go ahead and start taking prenatal vitamins. Find a raw, whole food vitamin and start taking them before or when you find out your exciting news. Eat organic, non-GMO, veggies, local meat, etc. Take care of your body and stay away from as many toxins as you can.

Don’t hold back on happiness or celebrating if you find out exciting news of a pregnancy. Stay in prayer and have faith in the future.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7.

Are you experiencing any hesitations right now during a pregnancy? Are you experiencing any fear or worry about your pregnancy or future pregnancies? Feel free to email me at momentswithmarylee@gmail.com or comment below. I want to chat with you! 🙂

If you missed Part 1 of my miscarriage story, you can find it here: My Miscarriage Part 1. Before I share Part 2, here is a great reminder for today:

After the appointment at my midwife, confirming we did have a miscarriage, we thought the physical pain would start to go away and we could just work on the emotional and mental pain. A week went by and I was still having mild cramping and light bleeding. Nathan couldn’t stay away from work the whole time, and I was feeling a little better, so he went back to work. Not wanting to be alone, I went to stay at my parents during the day. About a week after my first ER visit, I remember my dad picking me up this one morning because my cramping started to get worse and worse.

I laid down at my parents house and I couldn’t fight these cramps. I remember walking around helped the pain but about every couple minutes it would be terrible cramping. I assumed these were contraction type pains. I didn’t think I could make it all the way to my midwife so I decided to have my dad drive me to the local hospital. I was bent over in pain and begged to be sent right back to a room.

Thankfully, there was no wait. They wheeled me back and I could tell this was already a much better visit than the first one. Nathan arrived at the hospital and I knew he was worried. That second ER visit was the worst pain I have ever felt. They told me it was labor pains. A couple rounds of morphine didn’t even solve the pain, it mainly just calmed me down. After more tests and ultrasounds, they didn’t find anything different and said it was probably just the miscarriage.

Nathan and I were lost and confused. I got sent home a couple hours later and was told to just lay down and let it pass. I didn’t know what that meant but I was worried it would never end.

Later that night something passed that I knew had to be the fetus. Physically, I felt immediately better and had a huge sigh of relief. It was finally time to just focus on our relationship and emotional pain.

In the second hospital bed, I kept praying that the pain I had would just go away. I knew I worried Nathan and my parents. I kept saying how unfair it was to be going through such horrible pain and not able to take a baby home. I had a lot of support from Nathan and my parents that day.

As you can tell from my story, I didn’t have a D&C procedure. I am thankful for that because it gave my body a chance to heal on its own. It was a longer miscarriage and painful but I had the strength to overcome it because of Jesus and my family.

If you have had a miscarriage or currently enduring one, please share your story with me and we can chat. Just email me at marylee.hamblin@gmail.com. You are not alone. Jesus is holding you and going to get you through this. Remember he has a plan for you and it is not one to harm you.

Thank you for letting me share my story and continuing to read my blog! Please sign up for email updates and follow me on social media! =)

Good Morning!! It’s been cold here in central KY! I have been able to finally enjoy my winter coats and scarves. 🙂

Today I will be sharing the story of my miscarriage. I decided to write it in 2 parts because it was long and difficult week. I hope you all have had a great week so far! I want to say thank you for reading and following me on social media! Please subscribe to emails so you never have to miss a post. 🙂

My miscarriage started on May 27th. I had known I was pregnant for two weeks, at that time I was 7 weeks along. I was hanging out with my parents that day and remember feeling cramps and I starting to have this light spotting. Feeling a little uneasy, I decided to go home to Nathan who was bringing dinner home. On that ride home I remember questioning the spotting, was that normal? As soon as I walked in the door I ran to the bathroom and noticed it was a little more than spotting. I called my mom and I remember hearing her comforting voice, yet I could tell she was concerned (she’s had a miscarriage).

I laid on the floor in tears as Nathan walked in the house. He sat our dinner down by the front door and we left for the ER. Neither of us knew what was happening or what to feel. We barely had to time to celebrate being pregnant. As we walked into the waiting room, we found the only two chairs left. We were told the wait was 4-5 hours. In the meantime I experienced the worst pains of my life and had a lot of bleeding.

My parents and Aunt Marlene came to the ER for support and I remember my mom telling me what was probably happening. My mom with a broken arm, was comforting me and getting me water. My dad drove to the nearest drug store for pain medicine and feminine products. What was wrong with this hospital? It was 4 or 5 hours later and we finally heard my name called.

More waiting, then tests, more waiting, then exams, more waiting. We finally got to have our first ultrasound. As they were rubbing my belly, I remember the doctor’s asking each other if they would be able to hear a heart beat at this point. Nathan and I looked at each other with concerned looks. Where were we? Anyways, after more rubbing, they claimed I was still pregnant.

With total confusion, we were sent home shortly after that ultrasound. I left the hospital in the worst pain I have ever had. I remember screaming in the car on the way home, kicking the front of the dashboard, making myself sick. How could I still be pregnant and in this much pain? At this point of the night we could not even get a prescription filled.

The next day I was scheduled to see my midwife. This was a different type of waiting room. It was full of happiness and pregnant women. And then there was me and Nathan. After blood work and more ultrasounds, it was a confirmed miscarriage.

From the start of the miscarriage, I knew what was happening but I was holding on to a little hope. It honestly didn’t even feel completely over after the confirmation. Technically I did have a miscarriage, but it wasn’t over.

Even through all of this I knew God was still by my side. Yes, I was frightened, worried, sad, etc. but I knew I wasn’t alone. We are never alone. If you are going through something like this, pray right now for comfort and healing. Jesus is by your side and will never let you go. Feel free to email me and I will listen to your story. I will also put you on my prayer list.

Good Morning! As I sip my morning coffee this morning and type this post, I pray that it would make a difference in someone’s life. Not only for someone who has had a miscarriage, but if you know someone who has. We will soon be approaching what would have been our due date. The thing is, I can’t even remember the exact date, I just know it was in early/mid January. I think I blocked it out very quickly, not because I want to forget, but because I want to focus on what I have learned from this experience and how God is changing my life.

7 Things I Learned from my Miscarriage:

Always have faith and remember you can get through anything with Jesus by your side. My husband was the one to constantly remind me of this. In emergency rooms, at night when I was sick, when I was away from him in pain, etc, he was always reminding me that we will make it through this. Our miscarriage was just as hard on him as it was on me but he showed this strength that blew me away.

Lean on your spouse for help. Don’t always grieve alone. Talk to you spouse. Nathan and I talked a lot while we were going through this. We cried, questioned everything, and talked! I also leaned on him for help. I couldn’t do laundry, clean, cook, etc. If you know me, I prefer to do the laundry and put the towels a certain way on the shelf (haha). I let him do those things and didn’t give him any directions. And you know what? He did a wonderful job and I was at ease knowing the laundry wasn’t pouring over.

My parents love me even more than I thought they did. During my miscarriage, my mom had a broken bone in her arm (broken in two). It was a horrible time for her. My dad was also going through a rough time at work. As soon as we went to our first emergency room visit, my parents were right behind us, bringing my Aunt Marlene with them. They waited until we left 5+ hours later. My parents brought us a meal everyday, even when my mom only had one arm she could use. As a team, I remember they made me my favorite, Chicken Pot Pie. She gave my dad detailed directions on how to make it. Her chicken pot pie has homemade pie crust, so it’s not easy to make with one arm, but my dad did a wonderful job. They took care of me when Nathan had to go back to work. I could go on but I’m already crying. 😉 I love my parents. I have been blessed with some special parents.

It’s okay to receive help and ask for it. During this time my sister Sarah reminded of a Bible verse. “Now that we know what we have: JESUS, let’s walk right up to Him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help!” Hebrews 4:14-16. This is a challenge for me but I let all my guards down and accepted help from others. My sweet, sister-in-law, Crystal, wanted to come to our first ER visit and bring me some things I needed and get our house keys to let our dogs out. She drove out of her way late at night to help me. That meant so much to me and I hope she knows that. If it’s a phone call for advice or asking to help out somehow, accept the help. It’s a blessing from God.

Not everyone knows how to react or what to say. If you tell someone what has happened and you hear answers like “at least you weren’t farther along”, “you can try again”, etc, don’t let it anger or sadden you. I think I heard every possible response, and it did upset me some, but my mom and Nathan constantly reminded me that not everyone knows what it is like or how to respond. People care and they just may not know how to react.

Not everything can be answered. This was the hardest lesson for myself. I wondered how this could happen to me. Did I cause it? Is it normal? Was it something I ate? I could go on but I’ve let those questions go and I’ve given it to God. He knows and he has a plan for me.

I am not the only one that has had a miscarriage. This came to a huge surprise to me. So many people go through this and they don’t talk about it. My mom had a miscarriage in between me and my sister, so she was a huge help to me. During my first ER visit, my mom knew what was happening before I did. I am so happy she was there because Nathan and I were lost. We never would have imagined this would happen to us. Like my mom, I want to help someone going through this. If this is you right now, I am so sorry it is happening to you. It is such a sad time but everything will be okay. Email me if you want to talk, momentswithmarylee@gmail.com.

Thank you for all those that are reading. Don’t forget to subscribe for email updates, that way you don’t miss any new posts! Also, check out all of my social media pages! Have a wonderful weekend!