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weights and measures

We get asked all the time to translate dealer and user-speak into plain English and simpler mathematics: How much is in a teenager? What’s an 8-ball? If I buy a quarter-ounce, how many grams will I get?

Those of us still in the game have boned up on our weights and measures to make sure our dealer is giving us what we’ve paid for. We learned what lingo equals what weight and then what that weight looks like in its little baggie. No one wants to get ripped off, right?

The savvier shoppers among us know that the price of a stash might be negotiated, especially when we can be flexible about the amount we buy. In the ever-changing drug marketplace, there can be Costco-sized discounts available for customers who have the cash (and the nerve) to buy in bulk. That said, we think it’s really important to know how much we’re consuming, especially if we’re buying in bulk. Eating a pint of ice cream isn’t the same thing as downing a half-gallon, now is it?

Get out your pencils, here’s the crash course ...

A common “starter” weight that speed is sold in is a quarter. It’s called a quarter because it weighs a quarter gram, get it? That weight will usually fill up half of one of those cute 1” x 1” plastic zip-top baggies. Remember third grade math and the dreaded fractions? Here’s where that information you thought you’d never need comes in handy: a half is twice the amount of a quarter. Speed is also bought and sold in grams or in multiple quarters or grams.

Moving on beyond the quarters and halves of the weekend warrior, we enter the realm of the teener. Like mnemonic devices? To get to the weight a teener represents think “sweet 16” ‘cuz a teener is 1/16 of an ounce. Going up a rung (or down, depending on how you feel about increased quantities of meth in your life) we’ve got the magic 8-ball. That’s twice the weight of a teener or, 1/8 of an ounce. So an 8-ball is bigger than a teenager. Again with those damned fractions, right?

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE:

If you buy a teener (1/16th of an ounce) and divvy it up into quarters, you’ll get a little over 7 quarters. A teener is a little more than 1.75 grams.

If you buy two teeners, you’ve got an 8-ball. An 8-ball’s got a little more than 14 quarters, or 3.5 grams.

A little geography to confuse things a bit: teener and 8-ball are most often American terms. Remember that so you remember that they refer primarily to ounces.