What’s On Tonight: Gay Dolphins And The Wu-Tang Clan

Suits (USA, 9:00 p.m.) – In what I’ve got to believe is a cross-network programming decision made for me and me alone, Suits ends its summer run tonight and will be immediately replaced in the Wednesday 9 p.m. time slot next week by Franklin & Bash on TNT. We are all truly blessed. (UPDATE: NOPE! Two more episodes left. No idea how that happened.)

Sex in the Wild (PBS, 10:00 p.m.) – Season 1 finale. Tonight’s episode focuses on dolphins. According to the preview on PBS’s website, it will feature (a) GAY DOLPHINS, and (b) a “high-speed chase” in which “males pursue females and rapidly mate with them — in just two seconds.” This is the greatest show in the world.

Who Do You Think You Are? (TLC, 9:00 p.m.) – Rachel McAdams learns she has an ancestor who came from a privileged English background. I don’t think any sentence has ever surprised me less than that one.

Extant (CBS, 10:00 p.m.) – Are you watching Extant? I ask because I assume someone is. I just haven’t met that person yet.

The Bridge (FX, 10:00 p.m.) – Tonight, “Marco confronts an old enemy” and “Frye gets a proposition from the DEA.” Also, Ray dies. I mean, presumably. That’s not technically a spoiler because I haven’t seen tonight’s episode yet, but that dude’s been on borrowed time for like six episodes. (Time he borrowed using his penis as collateral.) Guy’s gotta go.

Wilfred (FXX, 10:00 p.m.) – Wilfred has been quietly ticking down toward its series finale. Very quietly. Tonight is its second-to-last episode and there’s barely been a peep about it anywhere. And it’s not like I can blame anyone because I stopped watching a while ago myself. It’s a sad situation.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Chloë Grace Moretz and UFC champion Jon “Bones” Jones are on Kimmel; Kelsey Grammer on Ferguson; Megan Fox and Nick Cannon are on Fallon, with Lester Holt sitting in with the Roots; Clive Owen and Sarah Paulson are on Meyers; Michael Fassbender is on Colbert; and Larry King and Lizzy Caplan are on Conan.