Jeremy Clarkson's Five Worst Cars of 2018

Clarkson probably didn't get any Christmas cards from these car makers this year

AS WE demonstrated yesterday, Jeremy Clarkson has reviewed some blindingly good cars for the Sunday Times this year, not least the Lamborghini Huracán Performante, which he crowned his Car of the Year.

But, as usual, among all of his favourites Clarkson found a few stinkers. There weren’t any zero-star cars, as has happened in previous years, but these are the ones awarded the lowest scores by Clarkson in 2018.

Abarth 695 Rivale

Clarkson has enjoyed the Fiat 500 in the past, so surely a hot hatch Abarth version was guaranteed a glowing road test. Sadly for the car maker, that wasn’t the case, as the 695 Rivale was panned for its bumpy ride, iffy driving position and wobbly chassis. Even the styling touches, which pay homage to the Riva powerboats that Clarkson adores, weren’t enough to win him over.

Rating ★★☆☆☆Memorable quote “The 695 convertible is wobbly at speed, bouncy and hard to drive unless you’re used to wearing a thong.”Read the review (subscription required)

Audi Q8

SUVs tend to fall in one of two categories for Clarkson: the ones he adores, such as Range Rovers and the Alfa Romeo Stelvio, and the ones he hates, like … pretty much everything else. No prizes for guessing, then, that the Audi Q8 sits firmly in the latter category, though JC was impressed by the Audi’s “extremely clever” technology.

Rating ★★☆☆☆Memorable quote “It’s a rival for the terrible BMW X6, and that means it’s for people who are mad.”Read the review (subscription required)

Dacia Duster

In stark contrast to his Grand Tour co-hosts, Jeremy Clarkson hasn’t jumped aboard the Dacia bandwagon. As such, it’s perhaps no surprise he isn’t a fan of the new Dacia Duster, which he particularly disliked for perceived ugliness and an underpowered engine. The fact that the Duster test car was painted gold and was worth over £15,000 further cemented Clarkson’s distaste.

Rating ★★☆☆☆Memorable quote “No one is ever going to drive a Duster smoothly. Or quietly. Or with their dignity intact.”Read the review (subscription required)

Mini 1499 GT

The Abarth 695 isn’t the only retro hot hatch to be heavily criticised by Clarkson in 2018: the Mini 1499 GT was also given a pasting. Its commemorative stickers were given a pass, but the stiff suspension was a problem, not least because it suggested performance that the car’s powerplant couldn’t match.

Rating ★★☆☆☆Memorable quote “It’s hard to think of the right word. But ‘horrible’ is close enough.”Read the reviewhere

Volvo V60

Perhaps Clarkson’s greatest “what if…” review of 2018 was his analysis of the Volvo V60. Though the estate earned plenty of brownie points for its styling, space and practicality, almost all of that goodwill was undone by what he saw as a “dismal” diesel engine. Funnily enough, Volvo has vowed that all its new cars from 2019 will contain only hybrid or pure-electric powertrains, meaning pure petrol and diesel engines are history. Coincidence?*

Rating ★★☆☆☆Memorable quote “Nothing says your sex life has died more than a Volvo in the driveway.”Read the review (subscription required)