We shouldn’t underestimate the psychological impact that the recent attack on Americans will have on all of us. Our emotions might include disbelief, shock, fear, concern and numbness. It can also be difficult to help children understand and cope with what has happened. The following hotlink - http://psychcentral.com/resources/Attack_on_America/ lists some resources that are available on-line. You can also contact me on-line or by calling my office if you need additional support.

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ARE YOU CODEPENDENT?

Are you tired and depressed all the time? Does it seem you can't do enough to please your partner, father, girlfriend? Are you the only one who cares if things get better? Are you getting more and more headaches, backaches, stomachaches? Are you sacrificing your good reputation to help someone who doesn't give back? Feel unappreciated? Are you relying on food, shopping, alcohol or other drugs to give you a lift?

These are symptoms of co-dependence. People become co-dependent when they consistently allow their own needs and rights to become secondary to another's needs and rights. This can be devastating for you personally, as well as your relationships. Many co-dependent people are loving, thoughtful and generous. Yet, their generosity is misunderstood by people who are addicted. This misunderstanding can lead to a relationship that is strangled by depression, mistrust, chemical addiction, physical abuse and so on.

If you practice smiling (and laughing) even when you don't feel happy you start to feel better. Your body chemistry actually changes and sends different signals to your brain. You are using another part of your brain when you consciously choose to laugh and sending signals to the part that can make you happy!

A recent study shows that voiced, songlike laughter elicits a more positive response from listeners than an unvoiced laugh. So don't hold back when something strikes you as funny. Laughing out loud can help your friends and family members to share in the stress-reducing benefits of a hardy laugh.

A recent study has added to the body of evidence associating positive feelings with better health. In the study, people who were happy or optimistic had a lower risk of stroke than people who were generally sad or depressed.

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FIGHTING OVER MONEY

Read an excerpt from my latest interview in the July issue of Residential Architect in the article entitled “Married on the job.”

Many couples believe that because they love each other, have raised children together, or went to grad school together, they should be able to get along running a business. Not so, says Marshack. Couples who work together will have a lot more fights, because there’s more to fight about. “A business is about making money. And couples argue about money anyway,” she says. “One gets concerned about whether the other handled a client right, or whether the partner should have negotiated an extra $10,000 into the bid. It can make you quite cranky with your spouse.”

Marshack stresses the importance of realizing your partner will be more sensitive to your criticisms than someone else will. “Your have to be polite, take more time to communicate what you mean and clarify what the other person means,” she says. “It will take more time than if you were working on your own or with a non-related partner.”

You can access the entire article at this hotlink: http://www.residentialarchitect.com/frmArtFront/0,1071,'520~521~522~3788~1',00.html

On-line consultation is now available on our website, www.kmarshack.com.

Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter. For more information about my work as a marriage and family therapist and family/business consultant please visit my website www.kmarshack.com. You’ll find self-help tips, a library of family business articles, information on on-line consultation and much more. To contact my office call (360) 256-0448 or (503) 222-6678 or email info@kmarshack.com.