To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/230739180885290034/

April 18/19/20 – Days 169-171 – 1593 Words

“You like this new three days format, don’t you?”I can’t deny it, I do.“Any particular reason?”Yes, for one, it makes it look like I did a lot more work. That 1500 word total count looks right nice up there to me.“What? You think people will see that and be more impressed?”No, I’m just saying it looks nice, that’s all--“Like people can’t just do the math and see that it is a three day total?”I am not talking about anyone else. I was saying that it looked nice to m-“Is that how they taught you to sell books in Author School? Insult your reader’s intelligence with three-day-total sleight of hand tricks?”

Author School?“You mean you didn’t even go to school to do your job? So, you’re a dropout?”We are getting way off track here. We were talking about what I liked about the new three day format. Now, can I get on with this, or are you going to continue being obnoxious?“Fine, but just so you know, people reading this will not be fooled. They are on to you. They know you are still only writing 500 words a day.”Which just happens to be one of the themes of this whole Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train trip. So, what are you talking about? Anyway, moving on. Oh, and by the way, I finished school.“Being finished with school is not finishing school.”I need to put you in a finishing school somewhere. Maybe it will do you some good. Here, here is some chocolate.“Ooh, a piece of candy.”Okay, so while he is following the trail of chocolate that will lead to the box, which he will be in for a long, long time, I will get on with the update.

After a short chapter 32, I am now in 33. Which, when you think about it, is kind of obvious. I mean, it’s not like I can skip over 33 to 34, right? Anyway, my MC’s are out of the jam for now. I am in a little lull, as they recuperate and discuss a thing or two, and then-Bam! right back in the mix. The book is in the final stretch and I am gearing up for the sprint to the finish line; 500 words at a time, of course. There are still some minor things to work out, and I even threw in something I hadn’t planned on, in Chapter 31. All in all, I would say that I am hanging in and slugging it out with Irony 3 to the best of my written ability. Hopefully, I will emerge as the victor in The End. Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

April 21-23 / Days 172-174 / 1575 Words

“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”What?“Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.”Wait, is that-? No, please no. I beg you.“If nautical nonsense be something you wish.”Anything, anything but that. I’m begging yo-Hey? How is what’s his name? Um, Captain Sisco, yes, Captain Sisco. How is the war with the Dominion going? Watch some Star Trek lately? I love Star Trek, don’t you?“Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish.”Alright, I’m putting my foot down. There will be no-“Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants.”-in this blog. I forbid you to say-“SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!”

Alright, okay, enough. You've had your fun. I suppose this is payback for me keeping you in that box so long from last update.“You’d better believe it, bucko. I could have suffocated in there.”Oh, please. And did what, died an imaginary death? You don’t exist.“Oh, I don’t, do I? Then why did a commenter on this very week’s post call me an alter ego?”You saw that, huh?“Sure did.”You realize that is just a testament to my conversational writing ability in these posts, right?“Doesn’t matter. It’s two against one and I have Tony Karas on my side. So, as an official alter, I want more respect around here.”Do you?“I sure do.”And if you don’t get it?"I’m gonna… I’m gonna… Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"Alright. Alright. But, one more word, and I will give up the blog before you see one ounce of that respect.“Okay then. A brother is finally going to get the recognition he deserves. I want a weekly spot all to myself. And I think I should have my own page on this site. Oh, and I want a name. Red Guy is not a name. It is a description. And-”You got it my friend. Now, how about we celebrate the occasion?“I’m down for that. What you got, some sparkling wine?”No, nothing like that, but I do have some candy. Here you go.“Ooh! A piece of candy.”

Alright, folks, on with the update, minus red guys and yellow sponges. I’m afraid there isn’t much to say that I didn’t say last update. The Irony 3 Novel Train is still on the rails headed toward The End. In script at the moment, I am having a conversation between my two main MC’s. One is trying to talk the other down from a course of action. Will he be successful? Perhaps, rabbit, perhaps. Oh, and I have a cover reveal coming soon. Stay tuned. And with that, I believe that about wraps this loony puppy up. Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

April 24 – Day – 175 – 530 Words

End of another writing week on the Irony 3 Novel Train.“Do you have to keep doing that?”Doing what?“Mentioning the Irony 3 Novel Train in every post. I mean, it’s not like it is plastered all over the website or anything.”Well--“For crying out loud, there is a calendar, a progress meter, a flippin video on the home page, a page by itself at the top of the site, a separate post explaining it linked in big green letters on the side of the blog, not to mention the rather hideously large picture of a bleeping train in the post. Oh, and did I forget to mention the big red title letters below the hideously large picture?"I guess you do have a point, but--“But what? Are you afraid they will mistake your updates as belonging to the Guacamole 5 plane flight or something?”Guacamole 5 plane flight? Where did that come from?“I like avocados, okay? Sue me.”

Okay, I suppose you do have a point. But, I have been doing it for so long, I don’t think I can stop. Besides, it is more of a tag line, just like the calendar and progress meter bit at the end.“Yeah, well, I suppose you need one.”And that means?“It means that just like no one will mistake this two-bit, cut-rate, raggedy rail trip for the Guacamole 5 plane flight, no one will mistake you for a real writer. So, you need a tagline—“And you say you want more respect around here? Try giving some to get some.“I apologize. You’re right. That was uncalled for.”Do you mean it?“This giving respect thing, does it involve telling the truth?”Preferably.“Then no, I didn’t mean it.”Then why say it?“Truthfully?”It would be nice.“Because, if I didn’t apologize, you might have taken away my television, and there is a Star Trek marathon on tonig--”To the corner of my mind with you, buddy. And no television until you apologize and mean it.“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry --!”Yeah, like I believe that. Go tell it on the mountain. Over the hills and everywhere.

Okay, folks, similar to last update, there isn't much to tell. I am in the stretch run and my MC is headed for a confrontation with his killer. Of course, I have a surprise for him, and then comes the end of the book. Man, if it were only as easy to write as it was to say. Presently, I am still calculating epilogue fallout from my MC’s actions throughout the book. So, at least I am planning ahead like I am actually going to make it to The End. And that, my fellow passengers on the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train, is a beautiful thing. :) Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

For this week’s week end jam, I give you Lee Ann Womack’s I Hope You Dance.