Luciano: Five sisters, five marriages, five stories of success

Saturday

Jul 19, 2014 at 3:00 PM

Phil Luciano of the Journal Star

For 67 years, Edward and Stella Walloch kept teaching an invaluable lesson to their five daughters:

How to have a happy, solid marriage.

While he worked as a tool maker at Caterpillar Inc., she kept watch on their Peoria household. Home life was steeped in respect and love, while much of the family’s social life centered on St. Philomena Catholic Church, where he sang in the choir and she belonged to the Ladies Guild.

The couple has been gone for more than a decade — he died in 2001; she followed a year later — but their legacy lives on, through their daughters. Counting up all their many months of matrimony, the siblings recently pushed past a remarkable 250 combined years.

Here, at the height of the summer wedding season, the sisters offer their insights and observations about marriage:

Juanita: Growing up, we had no close relatives, so we were a very close-knit family. We didn’t have much growing up. But we had the essential things and very loving parents who did everything they could for us.

My mother had a health problem the summer when I was 13 years old. Since my sisters weren’t old enough to help, it was up to me to take care of my sisters and my father. It gave me a sense of responsibility which has stayed with me to this day.

When we married, my husband and I were both working. But I soon became pregnant and had to quit my job. My husband worked construction and didn’t work all year, so we had to save for when he wasn’t working. Finances can cause a lot of stress on a marriage. But together, you can work through it. That means not having everything you would like but only what you can afford — and not running up a lot of debt.

We had twins in our first year of marriage. It took both of us working together to make things run smoothly. There were times we didn’t always agree but we didn’t throw up our hands and call it quits but worked all the harder to make our marriage work.

We were very active with our children in all their activities. In the summer, the boys helped their father in the garden and with yard work. Plus, they worked for some farmers and doing other jobs. The girls helped in the house, along with helping with the canning and freezing of fruits and vegetables.

We were only able to take vacations every four or five years. We would camp with tents on most vacations, to save on accommodations.

We went to church as a family, even on vacations. I remember on one vacation in the South when we had to drive 45 minutes to get to a church.

Marriage is a work in progress. Love, respect and communication are the tools.

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Barbara Hanson (75)

Richard Hanson (77)

Home: Keokuk, Iowa

Years married: 55

Children: Douglas (53) and Daniel (51)

Number of grandchildren: seven

Barbara: I married my best friend, Dick Hanson, when I was 20. After he graduated from Bradley University, the first big issue of our marriage was whether to leave home, family and friends for Dick to accept a job in West Virginia. We accepted this offer, though we had never been anywhere outside of Peoria.

All we had was each other. We relied on one another and became much closer. Today, we still have that closeness and are very content. Our parents raised us right, and that is why we were able to accept this challenge.

Marriage isn’t all peaches and cream. You have to work on it. There are bound to be disagreements and arguments. Be patient, trusting and honest with each other. Have fun and play jokes. And communicate when things aren’t going as planned.

We have two sons who are married and have families of their own. We hope that our love, advice and discipline we gave them growing up made them who they are today.

My advice to young couples starting out: marry your best friend. Marriage is tough some days, but enjoy what you have today. Tomorrow may be too late. Remember your weddings vows: “‘Til death do us part.”

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Marilyn Cundiff (71)

Gordon Cundiff (74 )

Home: East Peoria

Years married: 48

Children: Marie (48), Ed (46), Monica (44) and Tim (31)

Number of grandchildren: five

Marilyn: Our church and spiritual upbringing was a major factor in marriage. My sisters and I attended the same parochial elementary school and high school. Also, we all attended church each week, as have our husbands. We also feel strongly that our prayer life has always been indispensable and fortifying.

My husband and I have always worked together, both professionally and as parents. We certainly have not always agreed but have been able to compromise and work out our differences and problems. We are opposite in many ways — they say that opposites attract — but we also feel good that we complement and strengthen each other. We also share many similarities, like love, trust and mutual appreciation. Unless we live with an “all about me” attitude, every obstacle or hurdle that life sends our way is surmountable.

We always enjoyed sharing our children’s educational pursuits and the many fun times with their sports and music participation. My husband instilled a slogan in each of our children and grandchildren: “Give it all you’ve got.” It has worked fine for our marriage, as well.

Without question, we feel strongly that an adequate amount of humor in our marriage has been essential. My husband likes to say that because all five sisters enjoy singing the Bing Crosby song “Sisters,” it reflects a “harmonious” effect on our marriages. That does not mean that everything is always in tune, but we do produce a kind of tolerable music together.

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Veronica Fleming (70)

Dick Fleming (73)

Home: Davie, Fla.

Years married: 47

Children: Cari (46), Kellie (45) and Craig (41)

Number of grandchildren: three

Veronica: Fifty years ago, I left my family in Peoria on a new adventure in Florida. The company I worked for received a contract to do the mechanical work on a hospital that was going to be built. I was going to run the office. Our parents taught us to be responsible, respectful and mature, and to do our best at anything we did, so I felt I could accept this challenge.

There, I met Dick. He became my best friend, and we were married a year-and-a-half later. We continued to do our own things, as well as doing things together. Dick was a fisherman and hunter. We bought a boat and would go to the Florida Keys with friends. The husbands would fish all day, while the wives would hang out and go shopping.

Then our lives changed. We became parents, and our priorities changed.

Over 35 five years ago, we started a business. I ran the office, and Dick was the salesman. We were together every day and it worked out fine. We were very compatible. I worked part-time, so I was able to take our children to their after-school activities, sports practices and events. Dick would join us, and we would split up to be either with the girls at a swim meet or to go where our son was playing a sport. It was hectic, but it paid off.

Fast forward: the kids are all gone, out of college and on their own. I took up golf so Dick and I would have something to do together when we retired. We play a lot. When an opportunity arises, we take off together. One time, we took off for a three-week vacation: we ended up putting 6,000 miles on the car and were gone almost six weeks.

I feel our marriage has survived because we were equal and had trust for each other. Dick respects me and I him. We have had our disagreements, and there are things that he does that bug me and vice-versa, but nothing serious.

We truly have been blessed.

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Ellie Maroon (66)

Chuck Maroon (65)

Home: Morton

Years married: 45

Children: Michele (44), Mike (43), Mark (41), Molly (37)

Number of grandchildren: 10

Ellie: Our secret to a successful marriage is respect for one another. From a young age, I always observed how my father treated my mom and how my sisters were treated by their spouses. That set the bar, and that’s what I knew I wanted in a marriage.

I met my husband at the Journal Star, where we had part-time jobs after school as teens. We were in the same class at Academy of Our Lady and Spalding. We started dating when we were seniors.

I’ll never forget that before we were married our church pastor gave us great advice. He said if your spouse has a quirk that irritates you — buttering toast, washing dishes, making the bed, etc. — leave the room. And don’t sweat the small stuff. I’ve never forgotten that.

We had four children, and life was busy. It was not always easy, as Chuck traveled a lot and I stayed home with our children. We always had to watch finances. Being involved at church, school and our community kept us close as a couple and a family.

We would go on family vacations, large and small. It was also important to have “mom and dad” time: we would go to Steak & Shake, Lou’s or anywhere we felt like going. This strengthened our marriage.

We told our children daily “I love you” and we told each other “I love you.” Even today, after 45 years, we give each other a good night kiss and a kiss in the morning.

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Do you have any other advice for a solid marriage? Or warnings about mistakes to avoid? If so, send your stories and ideas to Phil Luciano, at the email address below.

PHIL LUCIANO is a Journal Star columnist. He can be reached at pluciano@pjstar.com, facebook.com/philluciano or (309) 686-3155. Follow him on Twitter @LucianoPhil. He co-hosts Barstorming, a video blog of unique local taps and eateries, at http://www.pjstar.com/entertainment/barstorming