Tories Confirm - Job Done!

Conservative Central Office has confirmed this morning that they now consider the implementation of their initial election manifesto completed. Senior Ministers and most MP's will now head back to their country piles immediately after the party conference next week for the remainder of this parliament.

A quick review of the unofficial manifesto confirms this:
1) Dismantle the NHS - check
2) Put down the middle classes where they belong using fiscal policy - check
3) Cut all public spending especially on the old and the poor - check
4) Let the bankers off scot-free - check
5) Start a war - check
6) Blame the Liberals for everything - check

A central office official confirmed," Basically, we're now going let junior ministers muck about with speed limits on motorways, frequency on dustbin collections and so on. That way, in a couple of years the proles will have completely forgotten what a total arse-up we made of everything."