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Tuesday, March 17, 2015

30 things (about 2015) I would've been shocked by 30 years ago....

So the other night I happened to go to Dave & Busters and one of the games I played was Galaga.It
had been a while since I played and that got to me thinking about the
first time I played Galaga (released in 1981). It had to have been
about 30 years ago - maybe 1985 or earlier. This got me thinking what it
would be like to attempt to explain the world today to my 6 year old
self. Here's my attempt to explain 30 things that 6-year old me might
need an explanation for:

1.In the future you'll be able to play Galaga on a super-small computer/phone/camera/boom box.

2. To clarify, in the future, everyone will have a mini-super computer
in their pocket that will double as boom-box, a camera and a telephone.
However, headphones you can connect to this super-computer will still be huge.

3.
In the future, instead of rap music being an underground form of music
only listened to by black people - EVERYONE (to a degree) will be into
rap and it will be very popular, so popular that a skinny white woman from Australia will be (debate-ably) the reigning rap queen.3.
Speaking of, in the future Queen Latifah (who you've never heard of
since it's 1985 but will hear of in 1988 trust me) - will be momentarily
be a daytime talk-show host after an illustrious rap career. Yes it
will happen.

4. L.L.Cool J will become an actor - playing of all things a cop on TV. In fact Ice-T will play a cop on TV too...I am not kidding.

5. In the future, everyone who wants to be on TV will be able to be on TV - and even a lot of people who don't want to be.

6.
In the future the Soviet Union will collapse and we'll be friends and
simply call the country Russia. Then after about 20 years or so after
being friends someone will shoot down a plane-ful of innocent people and
we'll pick up right where we left off being enemies again.

7. In the future we still won't have peace in the middle east. (sigh)

8. In the future we will have really big & really flat TVs

9.
In the future, they will take every great movie from the 1980's and
make it over with better special effects but, most of them will suck.

10.
In the future Phil Donahue will be replaced by a black girl named Oprah
and many women in America and beyond will look up to her. She will also
become the first billionaire TV host. Yes that's billionaire with a
"B".

11. In the future, Ice-cube that hard-core rapper out of the west will do kids movies.

13.
In the future, you'll be able to use the phone anywhere and I mean
anywhere as long as there is something called a "cell phone tower"
nearby. No cords to hold onto. (Again this is the mini-super computer -
it will be a big part of life).

14. In the future - there will be flying cars but no one will be able to afford them or figure out where to park them yet.

15. In the future - people will be much more excited about electric cars.

17. In the future, there will be a black president...OK, really he's mixed, which in 1985 just means he's black.

18. In the future, if you have a really cool idea you can go on a TV show called Shark Tank and get thousands or Millions of dollars for it.

19.
In the future, Arnold Schwarzenegger - The Terminator/Conan the
Barbarian guy will become governor of California...no, I'm serious.

20. In the future some vitamins will be able to be turned into gummie bears - yes it will be awesome.

21. In the future there will be robot cashiers at grocery stores - but it won't be as awesome as it sounds:

22.
In the future, parents will be so scared by the news that you'll have
to schedule "playdates" instead of just going across the street to the
neighbors and asking Mrs. Avery if Jarrod and his brother can come out
and play.

23. In the future you'll be able to have a computer in your car but, it won't be as cool as Kit from Knight Rider. Close but, still not as cool.

27. In the future you'll be able to make a lot of money by doing absolutely nothing but being semi- articulate and creating drama in front of a camera
- this will be called Reality TV. Similar to the Sally Jesse Raphael
Show but different at the same time because there's no live studio
audience.

28. In the future, people...lots of people will pay money for filtered tap water rather than drink it from the faucet. No, I'm serious.

29. In the future there will be this incredible thing called the internet that changes the world as we know it. Kind of like Skynet but not as evil -
most days. No one will really mail letters anymore except for at
Christmas & your Birthday because there will be this thing called
email where you can get on your mini-super computer/phone/boombox/camera
and communicate with anyone who also has a mini super computer which
will be most people. It will be an incredible time but unfortunately
there will still be people who want to hurt each other just because they
like to pronounce tomato differently or because they go to a different
type of church

.

30.
In the future most arcades will be closed down because you can play
video games at home with your friends while they're at home - I know it
sounds impossible. On top of that the arcades that are still open will
be awesome and have 3-D games much cooler than today but usually there
will be an old-school (because you'll be old then) version of Pac-Man or
Galaga or both so the adults can reminisce on when they were young. Now
for those born in the 1980's I know I missed a bunch of things that
have improved/changed since the 1980's. If you're willing share what
else has changed for the better or worse since the 1980's please do so
in the comments. Thanks!

2 comments:

I would add a few things... Kids will not have to walk home from school because they can instantly communicate with their parents and get picked up. They will not have library cards anymore and they cannot lie about their report cards because parents can see current information on their computer. Their will be no chalkboards. When they go on a trip they will be able to watch movies in the back and mom/dad will have directions broadcast to them via the minicomputer.

When people travel they will need to pay for food, luggage they bring and legroom. When they stay in a hotel room there will be no hotel keys and if they go to Vegas there will be no gambling chips just plastic cards. People will not send cards but will be able to share video and photos instantly. If people meet for coffee, they may pay $3-$7 per cup.