“NOPE. NOT A CHANCE.” That’s what I’d tell a person who isn’t nearly as brave and tough as I am if he wanted to go down the Verrückt Meg-A-Blaster waterslide at the Schlitterbahn Kansas City Water Park when it opens next year. The slide is currently under construction, but as you can see in the image posted to Reddit yesterday, this reportedly 140-foot tall project is no joke, as it will eventually become the tallest waterslide in the world.

“To ensure the record-holding statistics of this new extreme attraction, we are not going to release final height and scope of the project until we are ready to welcome our first guests,” explained Jeff Henry, Schlitterbahn co-owner and award-winning designer of world-class attractions. “This new MEG-A-BLASTER speed-slide is going to wow our guests and is going to be a game changer for our industry. Our greatest challenge will be to find thrill seekers brave enough to ride.” (Via Midwest Info Guide)

And I would absolutely love to be one of those brave people for you, Mr. Henry, but I just remembered that I will be busy throughout all of 2014, doing even braver things like not plummeting to my death from 140 feet in the air. I mean, I’ll be doing a lot of pushups and hang-gliding over Syria. Forget what I just said about that plummeting to my death nonsense. I’m super brave.

And here’s a look at the original design for the slide:

Yeah, that giant bump doesn’t look terrifying at all. But at least the folks at Schlitterbahn know how to make an exciting teaser video for a waterslide.

I’m wondering how they developed the force field technology for keeping some fat BBQ eating mother fucker from falling off the side the slide. I don’t think that 18 inch sidewall is going to keep Bubba with vertigo from plunging to his death.

Ummmm, are those STAIRS leading up 140 feet? Please, this is America, nobodys climbing that shit. Forget about people being brave enough to go down it, they’re not gonna find anyone fit enough to climb it! Here’s hoping that those stairs are just an emergency precaution and the real way up is an elevator that serves you a complimentary Big Gulp. ‘Merica!

I drive by this thing every day on my way to and from work. It doesn’t look that bad from the highway..a couple hundred yards away. I figured that, from the launch position, that would be a different story.