Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

September 23, 2008

MAKE THE BLOG WORK FOR YOU

Tomorrow, The Blog will do an honest day's work for the first time in his life be bagging groceries for a good cause. We would love to witness this, but we have to work. So we'll pay good money offer bumper stickers and/or other cheesy junk from the office prizes for photos of The Blog bagging your groceries.

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008, Whole Foods Market Coral Gables (6701 Red Road) will donate 5% of the day’s sales to America SCORES Miami, a youth development organization whose mission is to empower students in urban communities using soccer, writing, creative expression and service learning. With teamwork as the unifying value, they inspire youth to lead healthy lifestyles, be engaged students and become agents of change in their communities. Syndicated columnist and America SCORES Miami supporter Dave Barry and North Miami Mayor Kevin Burns will kick off the event at 2 p.m.

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any broken or mashed food products.

"...empower students in urban communities using soccer, writing, creative expression and service learning."

I find that a somewhat odd combination of tools. I don't know if I would ever have put soccer in with writing, creative expression, and service learning. And speaking of which, what exactly is service learning?

Meanwhile after watching that video and many others, I would interject some advice if you're ever in a situation like that. This is 20 year old advice, so the problem may have been fixed in the newest, best helicopters, butt we were always trained to allow the cable/basket/rescue diver to touch the "ground" first, before touching them. There's apparently a huge static electrical build-up during the lowering of the cable; enough to seriously zap!

Probably still good advice CJ. I know whenever an aircraft is refueled, the first thing they do is attach a wire between the plane and the fuel truck to ground them together. Electrical sparks and fuel vapors can ruin your whole day.

Siouxie, after Dave bags these, stop, remove it from the bag, act all indignant and say, "Excuuuuuse me?!? Do you think you're funnny, young man? I did NOT purchase this! Cashier, please call the manager. This is outrageous!"

Siouxie, you totally have to get a jumbo sized bag of super-absorbent feminine protection products, mess with the bar code so it won't scan properly, and then Dave will have to toddle through the aisles with this polyglot of maxi-pads under his arm while they get on the intercom-- "DAVE! YOU GOT THE PRICE CHECK ON THOSE TAMPONS YET! ! !"