so SUE me

After reading this post by Greta Van Susteren I decided to google other’s laws that are out there.

Let me say this, I’m not saying that we should take casually real credible threats towards people, but really…?

• Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
• You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
• It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing.
• Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.
• A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting.
• It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.
• The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
• New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it.
• A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
• While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
• Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.
• The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
• One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person.
• Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.
• Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.
• Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
• It is illegal to sell your children.
• Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
• A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
• It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
• Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
• Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
• It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
• When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.
• It is considered an offense to shower naked.
• You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
• Oral sex is illegal.
• You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
• Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
• Incestuous marriages are legal.
• It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
• It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
• You may not drive barefooted.
• It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.
• It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
• Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
• It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
• Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
• Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
• It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
• You must have windshield wipers on your car.
• You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
• Masks may not be worn in public.
• Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
• It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
• Drivers must yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk.
• One may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on a highway.
• It is illegal to place a container filled with human fecal matter on the side of any highway.
• Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car.
• Drivers may not pump their own gas.
• A door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary.
• An adult may not show a minor any piece of classical artwork which depicts sexual excitement.
• Dishes must drip dry.
• The “Peer Review Statute” prohibits you from finding out details of any written or oral discussion about your medical treatment.
• It is illegal to whisper “dirty” things in your lover’s ear during sex.
• Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
• It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
• One may not bathe without wearing “suitable clothing.”
• Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.

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This entry was posted on Monday, June 15th, 2009 at 9:02 pmand is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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