The US president stepped in, fearing the country's anti-government protests could fizzle-out unless millions were able to discuss their lunch plans as dismembered limbs flew past their office windows.

A State Department spokesman said: "It's encouraging that, while Iran struggles towards a new democracy, people can still chronicle the tedious and excruciating details of their lives after wiping the blood stains off their Blackberry."

Tom Logan, a security analyst who has been tracking the messages, added: "So far it's the same inexplicable, pointless bollocks you get over here but with marginally more references to effigy burning and humus."

Traffic from Iran has increased 250% since the disputed elections, with messages such as 'Iqbal says thx to all the guys in Karaj for hauling his car off the roof. U rock!!' and 'Shazia will see evry1 by the riot for a non-alcholic beverage l8ter, LOL'.