Go ahead...ask them...

My mind is spinning. It is having a very hard time absorbing comments I had to sit and listen to yesterday and without losing my temper. Comments from officials that chilled me to the core. Comments from people I once thought "got it."

Blaming the victim was the hidden message....

A victim who is a minor....a child....a child who has lived in a twisted ...dysfunctional...warped world where the norm is adult men sleeping with girls. Where parents condone these men moving into their home and shacking up with their daughters....where being a child no longer means innocence is a given, but rather in a county where innocence is denied by the turning of backs because "too much money has been 'dumped' into that family already,"....besides...."what can we do? the parents condone it."

"You know Eva, that girl was never a child - don't let her fool you. She will lie to you. She's a perpetrator."

Yes, comments like that are still spinning in my head.

I tell myself that I need to consider the source....

That the male officials sitting there telling me these things have never been a little girl who had been abused by adult males....

They've never been that child told to be "a good little girl....shhhhh."

I am attempting to understand that...swallow that....

They've never had that slimey adult man groom them into the submissive plaything for his pleasure..they have never had their enitre world twisted into a bad dream and told they are living a romantic fairy tale....yes, they're clueless on what it is like to be a once little girl who knew no better.

They will never understand why such a girl would grow into a young teen who bonds with her abuser....the only one who "understand her."

They will never understand why such a creature would lash out at authority when her groomers' world ....secret....is about to be exposed. They will never understand the fear inside such a victim...and how the only coping skills she may have are to fight because flight means to walk out into a world she doesn't understand.

Yes, they will never know the mind of a child victim of sexual assault..unless of course they walked in her shoes.....

Yes, she's living in a world of "Us vs Them" and so are those who judge her.......that clearly was the message I received yesterday as I sat and listened to the officials trying to explain to me why it was ok for a teen girl to be living with an adult male in a tent in the deep woods....on the banks of a river...in the County's backyard...............

Comments

Oh, that must have been so hard to listen to. There are many who need real educaton about abuse, I am always amazed by people who I thought would get it and dont. That is why we have to keep talking. That song and video was powerful.Hugs.