How do I get my two kids to stop fighting in the car while I am driving? They are out of control. It is very distracting and it drives me nuts.

Yes it is and it can be very dangerous too if they distract you from your focus and make you look away from your driving. If they are old enough you should explain that to them. Tell them the fighting makes it difficult to concentrate on the driving. Be blunt and tell them what can happen if you get distracted. They need to understand that it is a serious concern. For younger children give them things to do to keep them distracted. This works with older kids too. Make sure they are things they can do individually so they won’t find a reason to fight over some item that one has and the other one doesn’t. If they won’t stop fighting, don’t just do things like verbally warn them over and over. That just tells them they can keep pushing the limits and nothing will happen. Find a place to pull the car over and deal with the problem directly. Don’t let them run the situation. If they are fighting on the way to do something fun that is for them, tell them they will lose the outing but only if you are willing to follow through with your threat. Sometimes it takes drastic measures to really make a rule sink in and to let them know you are going to reinforce that rule of behavior. If the car is big enough and you have the space, consider putting them in different areas of the car so they can’t get to each other. You can also refuse to take them somewhere they ask to go the next time. Let them know they lost that privilege from their behavior the last time. If you don’t put your foot down and set specific guidelines and repercussions they will just start all over again on the next outing. Make them think twice about their actions the next time and help prevent them by giving them results for their fighting now, that they will understand on their terms. In other words, “hit em where it counts”, without actually hitting them. Your kids will push you to whatever limits you allow. That’s part of being a kid and learning the boundaries in life. Take control and stop the fighting. Mama Nono

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