Skeptophilia (skep-to-fil-i-a) (n.) - the love of logical thought, skepticism, and thinking critically. Being an exploration of the applications of skeptical thinking to the world at large, with periodic excursions into linguistics, music, politics, cryptozoology, and why people keep seeing the face of Jesus on grilled cheese sandwiches.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

What the frack?

Diane Tessman is at it again. Yes, the woman who believes that clouds are camouflage for UFOs, who believes that organisms evolve, Pokémon-like, to obtain advanced powers, has now weighed in on another topic:

Hydrofracking.

If you're thinking, "Oh, this is gonna be good," you don't even know the half of it. (Source)

Because it isn't, she said, Diane Tessman speaking; it's a superpowerful alien entity named Tibus who is speaking through her. And boy, is Tibus annoyed with the way we've been treating Mother Earth. He starts out, though, with a news bulletin meant to put us at ease:

Star people, this is Tibus. I come to you in love and light.

I am smiling as I greet you, my star friends/co-workers! I am also smiling at a UFO report from North Carolina; a man was out looking for a good place to hunt (I hope we was sufficiently distracted by his UFO sighting and did not hunt), when he spotted a low flying rectangular craft with 4 amber lights. “Rectangular” is not aerodynamic but because of advanced propulsion (anti-gravity) methods, we can use rectangles, squares, tubes, and so forth. Usually, however, we like the grace and beauty of a saucer-shaped craft and have found we actually fly them more efficiently than the cumbersome-looking craft. I hasten to add that the craft this man saw belongs to a small group within Space/Time Intelligence, but not directly to any of those folk, nor their ethnic groups, who send messages to you through Diane.

Oh, good. If they are operating within Space/Time Intelligence, I guess they're welcome to visit North Carolina. If the craft was populated by gay aliens attempting to find a nice place to get married, however, they might want to try a different venue.

After assuring us that the UFOs we see are here on a peaceful scientific mission, and that their crews have no intention of strapping us to examining tables and implanting microchips in our skulls, Tibus/Diane goes on to the topic at hand: the natural gas industry.

Hydraulic fracking, a process which extracts natural gas, has added to the danger from the New Madrid Fault, to a huge degree. Old fashioned fracking was hurtful to Earth but not potentially catastrophic. However, modern hydraulic fracking creates a real earthquake danger and also gobbles up the water table over a vast area, right when earth needs every drop of her fresh water supply. What fresh water is not gobbled up, is left toxic and hopelessly contaminated.

So, Tibus, if we can't do natural gas extraction because hydrofracking is too dangerous, what do we do to find a source of energy?

Here is the answer: We offer Earth free energy, which was discovered by a human being, Nikola Tesla, so certainly humankind should benefit from it. Free energy was taken away from the human race very wrongly, by greedy (yes), humans who saw they could make lots of money through non-free forms of energy. We of Space/Time Intelligence now offer free energy again, freely.

Isn't that nice? Free energy that's freely free! Wouldn't that be freeing? But how can we be sure that Tibus really knows what Tesla was up to, when he discovered free energy?

Tesla is with me and says that technically, alien races had discovered what he called free energy, eons before he did, but I respond to Tesla that he is being “too” conscientious, because we consider a new invention or creation to be brand new each time it is discovered by a different species on a different world. I remind him that there are wondrous ancient beings in the universe who have already discovered what we of Space/Time Intelligence have discovered, only eons before we did. Peel away the onion layers, and they are astoundingly endless. So, Tesla did discover free energy, which we use; it involves relatively simple anti-gravity techniques.

Oh. Okay. Simple anti-gravity techniques. Since Tesla is right there with you, would you mind asking him how we're going to manage that? The law of gravity, so far as I've noticed, seems to be strictly enforced in most jurisdictions. But maybe that's just my perception because I'm stuck in the wrong layer of the Cosmic Onion.

The good news, though, is that we don't just have to rely on help from dead physicists in figuring all of this out: we also have the "God Cloud." What, you might ask, is the God Cloud?

Some of you have asked about the God Cloud: It is a being, ancient and advanced, who offers to help. It is more ancient and advanced than any of us in Space/Time Intelligence. It is, for all intents and purposes, pure intelligence.

It traveled from a distant star cluster to help, and has “parked” near Earth. It is simply a stellar cloud of highly advanced particles of consciousness which/who function as ONE.

But how can the God Cloud, for all of its "advanced particles of consciousness," help us?

When the time is right (the micro-second when Earth reaches critical mass of enlightenment), it will throw its pure intelligence, pure enlightenment, into the electromagnetic field of Earth which will have just shifted (thus human minds will have just shifted upwards), and it will stabilize and enhance the new EM field on which human minds will function thereafter.

For those of you concerned if the God Cloud is committing “suicide” to do this, no it is not. It will remain a sovereign entity within the new EM field, and it will gather itself up as ONE, and leave when things settle down.

Whew. I know I'm relieved. I already had my hand on the Space/Time Intelligence Suicide Hotline.

So, anyway, that's today's hopeful message from the Land of Woo-Woo: we should stop hydrofracking because it pisses off Mother Earth, Nikola Tesla, and an alien named Tibus, but don't worry because free energy is just around the corner, not to mention an extraterrestrial super-intelligent cloud who is there to help us achieve a stable electromagnetic field of enlightened human consciousness. I'm so glad we have Tibus around to advise us, aren't you? Maybe next time he could weigh in on such Universal Mysteries as why so many people these days seem to believe absurd, counterfactual nonsense. I wonder what Tibus might have to say about that.

3 comments:

Oh, wait a second... Tibus... as in THE Tibus? The energy-based, body-snatching life form currently wanted by Intergalactic Police? Tibus is known for inhabiting the bodies of a planet's leaders and through malevolence, causes them to war with themselves until the planet's inhabitants are annihilated.

I am surprised that Tibus is being so outspoken, what with a 2,000 briblespec bounty on his head.

To say that there could be a "new" EM field is like saying that there could be new water that gives you balanced nutrition.

The only thing Earth's EM field can do is increase or decrease in magnitude.

If water gave balanced nutrition, well then we wouldn't call it water anymore, because it wouldn't be.

...and if the Earth's EM field became something other than, well, an ELECTROMAGNETIC FIELD, we wouldn't call it an EM field anymore, because it wouldn't be.

Ms. Tessman, you have your finger on the pulse of the stupidity of this age. Congratulations.

Gordon, while it seems counter-intuitive on the surface, doesn't it seem like bona fide science was more accepted during periods that were supposedly more socially repressed... Like the 1930's-1970's? The Republicans keep wanting to go back to the 50's, where God and family was more important. Though it also seems like, in spite of that notion, science was more accepted, understood, and correctly quoted.

Go figure.....

I surmise this is due to the abundance of scientific advancement. The more complicated our machinations and ideas become, the less the common man can relate to the science behind those things. Unfortunate, that with gaping holes in society's understanding of scientific principles, there are charlatans willing to fill in those blanks with a bunch of made up bullshit, knowing that there are enough uninformed people out there to not know any better.

It was probably harder to pull the wool over people's eyes when science, in general, was easier to make sense of and apply to daily life.

I think Republicans mean to say they want to go back to a time in place where our society was more honest. To that, I agree. Disinformation, like the kind Ms. Tessman purveys, is a science all of it's own, that has been cultivated alongside bona fide science. Science has advanced splendidly in our age... and so have the ways and means to refute, misdirect, and supplant it, such that people can make a career out of it.

It's too bad scientists are generally pacifists. When I look at crackpots like Ms. Tessman, my inclination is to get a mob together, replete with pitchforks and torches, and march their lair like they were Frankenstein.