Ever heard of Funnytown, USA? No, not the one from Colorado, the one from Idaho. If you haven’t, that’s okay, because it’s no longer there. It hasn’t existed since the summer of 1968.

Funnytown was an amusement park that only lasted for less than a month. Anyone who remembers it would probably recall hearing a news report that a… tragedy occurred there that forced the park to close down. I am one of the few still alive today who actually saw what happened. My name is Josh Henriken, and I will tell you everything I witnessed.

It was Friday, July 18th, 1968, and the park was the busiest it had ever been, according to the local news. I arrived there with my best friend Luke and his fiance Mel. Luke and I were 17, and Mel was 16. I hadn’t seen them for nearly a year since they moved in together, and when Mel bugged Luke to take her to Funnytown, he gave me a buzz and had me tag along. Us two guys felt too old for some kiddie park, but it was Mel’s birthday so we went along with the idea.

We entered the park, which was fairly crowded for being a place that was so out-of-the-way. It was a large, cartoonish town with cast members wearing striped, brightly colored suits and blouses. There were many booths set up along the streets with typical amusement park shit like unhealthy food and games for winning prizes. As you’d expect, Luke felt obligated to win Mel some prizes, which gave me some time to roam around on my own.

I remember deciding to go on a ride that Mel would’ve hated, ‘Dr. Strange’s Funny House’, a cheap knock-off of Disney’s ‘Haunted Mansion’. Only one person could go at a time, and the rider had to sit in an uncomfortable mining cart. I sat in that damn cart, and it moved me along on a track through a pitch black tunnel where animatronic ghosts, mummies, and vampires popped out at me. It wasn’t anything impressive, but then the cart took me into a room where the figure of Dr. Strange stood. The scene depicted was one that really stuck with me.

Dr. Strange was dressed in typical mad doctor fashion, and stood in his laboratory. A giant, deformed monster he had created was locked in a cage, begging for food. The crazed doctor was standing over a female victim that was strapped to a table, and he was hacking her up with an axe, feeding her body parts to the monster. Although the scene was done with cheap animatronics, I had no idea it was really an omen for what would happen next.

The ride ended, a cast member pulled me out of the cart, and I was in a black tent. As I walked towards the opening, I suddenly heard what sounded like an alarm. I exited the tent, and saw that everyone was in a panic as the noise continued, yet there didn’t seem to be any signs of danger. Some people headed back to the parking lot, while others stood there acting very confused. Even the people in charge of the park didn’t know what the fuck to do.

That’s when everything got very, very terrible. The alarm had a horrible effect on some people, and it started with the cast members. One by one, they began to rip the flesh from their faces clean off, then guests began to do the same. Those that were faceless began shouting the most insane things I’ve ever heard to something in the sky. The alarm continued to sound, and those that had not mutilated themselves were brutally attacked by the crazy ones.

Chaos erupted all over Funnytown, and blood covered pavement and soaked into the grass, creating huge puddles that some people slipped on while trying to get away. Those who were once holding hands were now impaling and hacking away at each other. I was so paralyzed by fear that I could not fucking move till I saw someone on fire running directly at me. I kicked him to the ground, then ran through the mob of gore-drenched maniacs to see if I could save my friends.

Finally, I found my best friend that I had known since preschool. Mel was crawling away in agony with her throat sliced open. Luke was about to finish her off with a shard of glass when he turned around to reveal that he had torn off his face as well. He smiled at me and said, “They’re coming to save us, Josh! All we have to do is free ourselves from this ugly flesh, and they will accept us!” “Who, Luke?” I asked, “Who is coming?”

Suddenly, the alarm started getting louder and louder, until I saw that it wasn’t an alarm at all. The horrendous noise was emitting from a spacecraft that swooped down over Funnytown, then hovered for a few minutes while the people that had lost their minds called to it, begging the unseen aliens to take them away. Instead, the craft began to slowly fly off. The base of the ship was circular, and the top was pyramid-shaped, with three triangular engines on its back that glowed blue. As it flew back into space, the noise slowly began to fade, then the entire crowd became completely silent for a few short moments.

The eerie silence was soon broken by a dozen police cars arriving at the park’s entrance. The officers were all heavily armed, and two S.W.A.T. teams quickly joined them. The police open-fired on the crowd, targeting literally everyone. I left Mel and Luke behind, and took cover in the tent from the ‘Funny House’, where I was attacked by the cast member who had helped me off the ride.

The man was strangling me, but I was able to kick him out of the tent. I saw him get back up, but then a shotgun shell made his head explode. I laid there in my hiding spot with my eyes shut, listening to the horrors outside and praying no one would look inside the tent. Obviously no one did, but I still waited there for many hours, hardly moving at all till I heard the chirp of crickets. Night had come, and all the police vehicles were gone so I left the tent and made my way back to my car, stepping over dead bodies and cruelly-made weapons as I walked through the dark streets of the once happy park.

That’s where my story ends, and it’s all true. There were other survivors of the massacre, such as other guests and officers, but most of them either killed themselves or went missing. The entire park was torn down the next day, and the government covered the whole thing up, especially the appearance of the UFO, as you can imagine. To this day I have no idea why the sound from the spacecraft made some of the guests crazy, but not all of them. It probably made me a little crazy too, because whenever I think about that day, I do find it funny.

I find the beginning of the story very attractive.
But as soon as I kept on reading, it contained less and less sense.
Besides from the things that remained unexplained (like – how did the government covered the thing of a huge massacare and a gigantic UFO, or why the character was not affected from the UFO’s noise), there are some things that are just not reasonable.
So the character sees his friend are in trouble and just leaves them there? And for some unseen reason, he kicks a man out of a tent? And the police just come to kill everybody and just leaves?

This could have been a more delicate pasta. I feel like its top tastes good, but the rest is not cooked enough.

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Rating: +30 (from 40 votes)

Slenderbitch

I totally agree, It could have been better it seemed kinda just thrown In there that people were ripping their faces off there wasn’t enough suspense

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Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)

Guy who does not enjoy poems

The character left his friends because he was scared. Not every protagonist in every story has to always be the hero type. He kicked the man out of the tent because the man was attacking him. The police were killing everyone because they didn’t know what else to do and they are presumably not exactly brilliant strategists, or they just didn’t care that much, or maybe they even had some unseen agenda.

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Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

http://creepypasta.com alex

yea, I did start out pretty good, but the rest became really boring as soon as they inputed the face-ripping parts

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Shogunfish

Good pasta but I agree with jigsaw:

In addition, I don’t like that the reason everyone went insane had nothing to do with the park itself. It’s like you just set it in a creepy amusement park because without it the story wouldn’t be creepy enough. When in reality this story could have happened anywhere.

Also, at first when people were ripping their faces off I though it was because they were wearing masks, it would have been better if you had said they were insane first, then once that fact was established then they rip off their faces,

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Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

Pyromania

I’m with Jigsaw on this one.

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Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)

RedBeans

maybe the noise affected different people in different ways cos at the end he says he finds it funny. Also WHO WAS MASSIVE PSYCHO SPACECRAFT ???

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Rating: +3 (from 7 votes)

MeeMoo

Of all the things it bugged me that it says “a cheap knock-off of Disney’s ‘Haunted Mansion’ ” when that ride didn’t open until 1969. :P

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Rating: +20 (from 20 votes)

Assclown3455

You should convince Peter Jackson to make this into a film using the same effects he used for “braindead”.

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Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)

Czikkan

Now THAT’S an idea. I got a Killer Klowns from Outer Space vibe from like the first sentence of this story.

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Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

HawaiianRain

July 18th 1968 was a Thursday……..

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Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)

Duane

Not bad but there are some inconsistencies. For instance, this story takes place in 1968 and mentions how the ride is a rip off of Haunted Mansion. However, Haunted Mansion didn’t open until 1969.

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Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

as;dlkfja;sdfk

July 18th, 1968 was a Thursday, and that fact caused the rest of the story to suck for me.

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Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

http://www.creepypasta.com/hope/ Dirjel

Yup, agree with Jigsaw. Really liked the opening (the “this is a true story” opening was exceptionally well done), but the story got weaker as it went on. The UFO just kind of floating there then leaving for (apparently) no reason at all, then the police coming and just killing everyone, I dunno’… the story just kind of fell flat. Multiple times.

Then dragged itself to the finish and delivered a half-baked one-liner that really didn’t tie into anything except the title, which I had forgotten because it didn’t work into the story well.

Meh.

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Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

J

Just so you know, you lose a lot of credibility in your story when you start dropping “shit” and “fuck”. If the narrator feels he is “too old” for a kiddie park in 1968, he would probably be pretty old now, right? I can’t imagine an old man speaking eloquently 99% of the time and then randomly saying things like this. Curse words encumber a story, they don’t enhance it. Food for thought.

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Rook

Funny indeed.

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Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)

TVATR

I thought this was going to be about that small theme park that opened up, but closed down shortly afterwards, because a young girl fell off of the swing ride. Actually, if I can remember, the park is still there and all the rides are overgrown with tall grass and shrubs, I think….the picture used for “Locations” is a picture of one of the rides from the park.

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dam aliens….

The last sentence of the story earned in 6 stars instead of 4. otherwise the story could have been better.

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SugarOnMyFruitLoops

That’s some creepy pasta.

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JohnnyTootyScare

The 18th of July 1968 was a Thursday, not a Friday. Do your research I’m not going to read it due to that.

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Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

Anon

Ironic that I was born on July 18th.

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dingdongmonk

It looked like a good pasta, but it wasn’t cooked and lacked some sauce.

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Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

Slender

It didn’t give me closure

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SugarrBeaar

This could have been alot more realistic considering it made no sense at most parts

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Pinkamena Diane Pie

It was pretty weird when it said “They’re coming to save us, Josh! All we have to do is free ourselves from this ugly flesh, and they will accept us!” because they where riping they’re skin it was pretty freaky

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Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

Amourfou

People gave a “ring” in the 60’s, not a “buzz”.

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Nicola Marie Jackson

Maybe the buzz was LCD. They could chat mentality after that. Happened to myself once xx

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rachel

you said htis was dated in 1968 but the ride didnt come out until 1971

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Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)

Luna

Well…….. It was good but…… I found it very boring. Sorry.

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Tessa

Meh, i dont really like aliens and UFO’s and stuff like that. Burnt pasta:/

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