Not humans, helplines lend an ear to senior citizens fighting a lonely battle

Hit By Depression, Abuse By Children And Lack Of Trust
BENGALURU: Last month, HelpAge India, an elders helpline, received a call from a senior citizen wanting to know how to operate a smartphone. The woman on the line was gifted a cell phone but none cared to show her how to operate it.

In another part of the city, 78-year-old Veeraragahvan, a retired warrant officer from the Indian Air Force, and his wife Lakshmi, keep each other company in their Jeevan Bima Nagar home, even as the world moves on, everyone busy with their own lives. It has been more than two years since this elderly couple has met their son and his family who live in the US.

The toughest part is to kill time between waking up and going to bed, say Veeraraghavan and Lakshmi. The streets in front of their house where their son and the neighbour's children once played are filled with strangers now. "The children grew up and left the city. Now, a whole lot of newcomers have moved in and we are not very comfortable getting close to those around us. When you read what is happening around you, you don't know whom to trust," said Lakshmi, skeptical even to share this much.

More and more senior citizens are reconciling themselves to the reality of having to live alone. Depression, abuse by children, helplessness in the face of growing isolation and inability to trust others are just some of the myriad problems they are up against. And with none to turn to, they dial helpline numbers to share their woes.

The number of calls these helplines receive reflects the anxieties and frustrations that cloud their lives. The 1090 helpline run by city police and Nightingale Medical Trust, for instance, gets over 1,500 calls a month. While most pertain to guidance and help, some are also related to complaints of atrocities which are followed up by police.

"We got 1,520 calls in May alone. The number of calls went up on days we conducted legal helplines. While some wanted to know how to write a will, others sought to know how to prevent their children from usurping their property," said a control room volunteer.

HelpAge India, which receives 40-50 calls a day, now plans to come up with a mobile app which can be used by the elderly and their relatives alike. "We get calls for legal help from elders who want to fight their children who have ill-treated them after taking away their share of property.

Some call seeking help with operating mobile phones or wanting to travel to a certain place. In fact, many callers enquire about old age homes," said Rekha Murthy, state head, HelpAge India.

For many like Veeraraghavan and Lakshmi, life is a virtual prison. Left to fend for themselves, many senior citizens, who'd have built houses pooling in all the life's savings, prefer to move into old-age homes. For, staying unguarded at homes leave them highly vulnerable. Only last month, a couple in their eighties were found dead in their Rs 80-lakh house in Sultanpalya, north Bengaluru.

The woman had died a week earlier, while the man had breathed his last only a few hours before police entered the house after neighbours alerted them of foul smell. Obviously, neither relatives nor neighbours thought it necessary to knock on the doors of a house where the woman's putrefying body lay for six days.

A police officer in Viveknagar police station recollected an incident of an elderly woman who'd call them at least twice a week complaining of some problem or the other. "Every time she'd have some problem. It could be either some issue with a neighbour, a feeling that someone had robbed something from her or something else.

After a point we realized her paranoia was the result of her living alone for a long time. The person was scared and suspicious of everyone around," the officer said.

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