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My holiday claim to fame is that I make cranberry sauce from a bag of real cranberries. This never ceases to amaze my in-laws, who, before I married into the family, would just open a tin and serve.

Stovetop cranberry sauce is easy to make, but opening a can and wiggling the gelatinous cylinder into a serving dish is even easier. Which got me thinking.

Why do we stress over the biggest meal of the year, when it can be pulled together in about 90 minutes flat thanks to the bakery, deli and dry goods sections of the grocery store, and such culinary staples as Stove Top stuffing and potato flakes?

Now, I would never serve Christmas dinner out of a can (not all of it, anyway), but if I did, would anyone know the difference? Especially because, with a bit of heat, garnish and embellishment, it's possible to jazz up the feast and, perhaps, fool Mom herself.

So, just in case you're tempted (or desperate), here's a guide to Christmas dinner in a can, with hints for boosting flavour. Please read on with a sense of humour.

Stuffing

Kraft Stove Top stuffing, $2.29 at Safeway. Saute some onions and mushrooms in butter and add for a home-cooked flair. Sprinkle in some Craisins. Time: 15 minutes. Serves 4.

Franco American canned gravy, $1.69 at Safeway. A dash of HP or Worcestershire Sauce and a sprinkle of ground sage will change the flavour from tinned to tasty. Heat and Serve. Time: 5 minutes. Serves 4.

Rolls

12 butter rolls from the Superstore bakery, $2.47. Heat briefly in the oven then set into a bread basket and serve. Time: 5 minutes.

Note: Time does not include heating in the oven (i. e. turkey, yams, rolls); it refers to the time you spend manually chopping, mixing, sauteing, toasting, boiling, carving or serving. Total time, prep and serve: 1 hour 18 minutes (but allow yourself a 12-minute buffer, to pour the odd drink). Total cost to feed four people (adjust quantities for larger parties): $73.18 plus GST. Red carnations and white mums courtesy, Safeway.

lkadane@theherald.canwest.com

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