Dear Crabbie: My boyfriend’s pants have been calling me lately. Apparently, he hits the redial button when he puts his cellphone in his back pocket and sits down. Has this happened to you? – Redialed and Weary

Dear Weary: In my younger days, it was panting on the phone. Now, yes, it's just pants.

Dear Crabbie: It seems like every journalist and writer now wants to quote statistics and figures in everything they write. But how can we check their accuracy? – Data Drained

Dear Drained: Don’t bother, 98.5% of all statistics are meaningless.

Dear Crabbie: Wasn’t it good that in a recent NBC interview, the president said he was sorry a few Americans are losing their health insurance? – Sick and Tired

Dear S&T: Right. I’m sure the 3.5 million Americans who can only get health advise from WebMD will agree.

Dear Crabbie: What would the world look like if all the ice melted? – Warmer Worrier

Dear Worrier: Wet.

Dear Crabbie: I see Kentucky senator Rand Paul has admitted some of his speeches contained passages that were copied from other sources without giving credit. As the Christian Science Monitor wrote “Paul's office acknowledged in a statement that some of the material he used hadn't been property vetted, and promised to implement going forward a new system of footnotes and attribution.” How did Paul make the announcement? – Copy Kate

Dear Kate: Paul said: “Material I used hadn't been property vetted, and I promise to implement going forward a new system of footnotes and attribution.”

Dear Crabbie: If you spoke to your parents the way some kids do today, what would have happened? – Lippy

Dear Lippy: I wouldn’t be alive to think about it.

Dear Crabbie: Which is correct? “I couldn’t care less about the current Congress” or “I could care less about the current Congress.” – Grammar’s Girl

Dear GG: Either will work for most folks.

Dear Crabbie: What if women ruled the world? – Charlene in Charge

Dear Charlene: There would be no wars. World leaders would be too busy on cellphones with their new international BFF organizing the next Global Shoe Summit.