Today, I want to talk about one of the side effects that can be hardest to explain to others and which can create the most self blame and misunderstanding: It Takes All Day To Do (Almost) Nothing.

When we’re in constant pain, it can literally take most of our day to get out of bed, wash up, get dressed, eat something, and make a cup of tea. If we’re having a good day, maybe we can make one important phone call or complete one page of a form before we’re done.

Why is this important to recognize? Because too often we think we are supposed to continue keeping everything together despite our pain. We think we’re supposed to buck up, be strong, and just keep going.

Why doesn’t it work that way? Because just being in pain takes most of our energy. End of story.

Today, I Made A Cup Of Tea

It’s important that we recognize this fact and give ourselves a break and stop expecting so much. We can’t keep up with life as usual. We probably can’t keep up with even a fraction of what we used to do. We need to give ourselves permission to unhook, unplug, de-stress, and move very slowly, AND we need to gently inform the significant others in our lives of these facts.

We don’t get much done in a day because being in chronic pain is what we’re doing all day.

When we’re in pain our experience of time is different. Our experience of energy and what we can do with it is different. Our entire consciousness is different. We are living in a different world with very different parameters, limitations and no meaningful timetable.

So what do we do about this? Take an online course for increasing productivity? NO! Read a bestseller on doing more with less? NO!

The very simple and important answer is: we live within our present limitations.

I know it’s very hard to not feel guilty about doing very, very little, especially if we are Type A individuals or are parenting in pain. Or both. We worry about losing ground or not being there for our kids, I know.

But chronic pain is something that can’t be muscled through. Persistent pain takes up most of who we.

Beating ourselves up emotionally because we can’t do as much as we used to do is not going to help us get through this faster or in a more healthful way. We’re only adding to the pain we’re already in.

Healing Is A Full Time Occupation

So, as much as is possible, it’s important to understand that our current occupation is healing. We need to let ourselves off the hook as often as we can and honor our current physical restrictions.

The reason we’re not doing much is not because we’re lazy, or we’re taking advantage of other people, or we’re letting pain take over, or we’re failing to heal. We’re doing very little because the body is putting most of its energy into healing.

Even though we may hate the fact that we’re unable to do much while in pain, our limitations are good for us. They force us to slow down, breathe, stop trying so hard, relax, and focus mostly on doing whatever we need to do to heal.

Even if it means that sometimes it takes all day to have a cup of tea.

Thanks for reading! Please like and share!

Image: In Realms of Fancy (Detail), John William Godward, 1911 (Wikimedia Commons)

One of the most important discoveries I've made on my journey through chronic pain is the importance of breath: how we use it and misuse it.

Once I was injured, breathing hurt. So, naturally, I tried to stop breathing as much. I took shallow breaths, held my breath, did whatever I could to keep from feeling more pain when I breathed. At first, I wasn't even aware that I was doing this.

As The Saying Goes, Don't Hold Your Breath

As someone who has been both a meditator and a martial artist, I was familiar with how important the flow of breath is in terms of overall health. Once I noticed I was impeding my flow of breath, I tried working with releasing the breath, but the deep breathing used for meditation increased my pain levels, and even the slow even breaths used for tai chi were beyond my capacity while in acute pain.

So, I worked on developing my own approach to breath work. First, I noticed my breathing patterns while in pain, and what wasn’t working.

The two most important ways I found that I was misusing breath were 1) by holding my breath often in an effort to stop the pain, and 2) by using my breath to try and push the pain out of my body. This is a variant on holding the breath, which uses the held breath almost like a wall against the pain. I think if you check in with yourself when you’re in acute pain, you’ll find yourself doing one or both of these breathing patterns.

Once I’d established that I was impeding the flow of breath through the body in response to pain, I started deliberately exploring ways to release the breath gently so it could flow more naturally, thus bringing more oxygen and overall healing energy and relaxation into the body, and which, hopefully, wouldn’t create more pain in the process.

Letting Pain Breathe

Here are four breath exercises using creative imagination that worked for me. With all of these exercises, just experiment. Try them and see if anything shifts for you. Don't use what doesn't work or make sense to you. The breaths should be as gentle as they need to be. Don’t try to take deep breaths if that increases your pain levels.

Breathing Around PainExplore putting your awareness on the space around the pain in your body and imagine breathing through that space. This space could be in non painful parts of the body that surround the painful area, or it could feel like you’re breathing into a space outside of your physical body, if that’s the only pain free area. Putting your awareness on the pain free spaces as if you’re actually breathing through that space can help relax the painful area and ease up the amount of constriction and tenseness there. You’re effectively shifting your attention away from trying to stop the pain through holding the breath. So, you’re tricking your pain response habits a bit by choosing to put your attention on the breath as it moves through areas of less or no pain.

Breathing With PainImagine breathing next to your pain, as in the first exercise, but this time you also have your awareness on the painful area and you’re imagining that your pain is breathing too. It’s as if both the pain free part of you and your pain are taking simultaneous breaths together.

Breathing Through PainImagine sending your breath through your pain very, very gently, but not stopping and holding it when you feel the pain sensations. Just softly, softly breathe through the pain and out to the other side of it, imagining the breath passing through the pain itself - not trying to stop the pain, just passing through it, and perhaps creating a little more space there.

Giving Pain BreathNow imagine that pain itself is doing the breathing. Breathe as the pain. This can be challenging to do without constricting and tightening up in fear. The last thing we usually want to do is give pain anything, but here we’re experimenting with giving it breath and space. Allow the pain to gently expand and contract with the breath, as if it had lungs, just very quietly breathing in and out, even if it’s very shallow.

If you work with the patterns that provide the most relief to you every day, you may find that your pain is gently releasing as the breath relaxes. Easing the pain even slightly through breath awareness awakens your body to the fact that pain can move, it can change, it can release, and that knowing is worth a lot when you’re living with ongoing pain. I found this to be true for me, and I encourage you to gently work with the breath to see if you can create some gentle release and relief for yourself as well.

Image: Fantazie za soumraku, Edward Robert Hughes, 1911 (Wikimedia Commons)Disclaimer: Nothing in this post constitutes medical advice and is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians.

Disclaimer

Nothing on this website constitutes medical advice and is not intended to be a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should consult a physician in matters relating to his or her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.