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Asexuality: The Three Things You Need To Know

What is asexuality?

Someone who is asexual experiences little to no sexual attraction to any gender.

Asexuality is real!

Yep there I said it. Asexuality is real. Don’t believe me? Well coming from someone who identifies as an asexual I can confirm that it is real. When discovering that you are asexual immediately you (and everyone around you) start bombarding you with questions. I have to admit at first, before I truly accepted who I was, I asked myself every single question that I see day-to-day when it comes to asexuality. You know the questions like “what if it’s because you haven’t found the right person yet?” or “Could it just be a phase?” Pretty much every question that comes to your head I asked myself. I understand that I can’t prove what I don’t feel but the simple way is that I just don’t crave what you want. That’s okay and it doesn’t mean I’m broken.

So before you decide to ask me and other asexuals questions about our own sexuality ask yourself the questions first. How would you feel if you came out of the closet and was bombarded by a million and one questions.

Asexuality is NOT a joke! Stop using it as an insult!

As the years go on more and more people have begun learning the term and definition for asexuality and this has come with a lot of acephobic remarks and jokes. You may not understand what I am trying to say here but there have been situations that I’ve been in where my sexuality (unknown to those around me) has been used as a joke and an insult. The common one I’ve seen/heard is when Person A is talking about Person B and how they may or may not have been sexually active in their past or present relationships (even if Person A doesn’t even know much about Person B’s relationships) and they say something along the lines of “[Person B] is practically asexual.” This really infuriates me because not only does it turn asexuality into a joke/insult, it’s using my sexuality to dehumanize and hurt the person they are saying it to. As if to say that there is something wrong with being asexual when there isn’t.

A lot of asexuals think of themselves as broken so using this type of language in front of them only makes them feel worse. I understand that the person who used this in front of me didn’t know that I was asexual but that doesn’t mean that 1) there might have not been another closeted asexual around or 2) that the person who the remark was directed too could have also been an asexual. Please stop using sexuality as an insult or a joke because it’s not funny and it’s very insulting.

To all my fellow aces out there you are not broken and I hope that you are all doing well. And a small reminder that if you don’t want to come out that you don’t have to. It’s all up to you. Only you know what is best for you.