I'm a long-time Forbes and ForbesWoman writer. I cover entertainment, celebrities, trends, models, and female-oriented stories. My first book, "Can't Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-Up Love" was featured on The Today Show, The Joy Behar Show, in Marie Claire, The New York Post, The New York Times, the AOL home page, and other outlets. I have also written for New York, The Village Voice, The Frisky, Marie Claire, Arrive, and the New York Post. I've appeared as an entertainment expert on shows like Inside Edition, Entertainment Tonight, and E! Television. I graduated from The Columbia School of Journalism. Please visit me at kiriblakeley.com or Writings of Kiri Blakeley on Facebook or Twitter: @KiriBlakeley.

The line doesn’t appear anywhere in the article, so it’s unclear if this is something Simpson actually said, but the cover line’s heavy implication is that the blonde faux-bubblehead pocketed $1 billion from the sales of her eponymous collection of shoes, handbags, clothes, intimates, swimwear, you name it.

Um, no.

But it’s clear that the media loves to prematurely make billionaires of cute blonde women, just as it did with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen a few years ago. Forbes’ Clare O’Connor already tried to set the record straight in December, but a good story is hard to shake.

Of course, it’s possible that by “making” a billion the magazine meant “generating” —in the general sense—but I don’t think most people are going to read it that way. Okay, let’s figure out what Simpson really might have pocketed, using more updated figures.

Inside, the magazine reveals that retail sales are really $750 million. The $1 billion mark is estimated retail sales for next year, but what’s $250 million between friends?

Simpson, like any celebrity who licenses his or her name to manufacturing companies, would get a small percentage of wholesale (not retail) revenue on her various lines—contracts usually fluctuate between 3% and 10% for each licensing deal. Let’s use 7%, and that is probably being generous. Wholesale revenue is generally about half of retail sales—so in this case, $375 million.

Simpson reportedly has a $15 million advance, however, as I wrote in 2009, she’s out-earned that.

So Simpson’s real 2010 take home pay for her line would be closer to $26 million.

If you want to get really chintzy and take out taxes, manager and lawyer fees, you’re looking at an estimated $15 million.

That does buy you a lot of clothes, but it doesn’t make you a billionaire.

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