Philip Maddocks: Roger Clemens offers to defend attorney general in battle with Congress

Philip Maddocks

Friday

Jun 29, 2012 at 12:01 AMJun 29, 2012 at 4:06 AM

Mr. Clemens, a seven-time winner of the Cy Young Award as the best pitcher in his league, said his own experience, in which he was recently acquitted of all charges that he lied to Congress in 2008 when he insisted he never used steroids or human growth hormone, made him uniquely qualified to help defend the attorney general, and he suggested that his successful strategy could serve as a legal blueprint for confronting Mr. Holder’s own continuing difficulties.

Calling Eric Holder a “good teammate” and “a great competitor,” Baseball great Roger Clemens offered to represent the Attorney General in his legal battle with Congress.

Mr. Clemens, a seven-time winner of the Cy Young Award as the best pitcher in his league, said his own experience, in which he was recently acquitted of all charges that he lied to Congress in 2008 when he insisted he never used steroids or human growth hormone, made him uniquely qualified to help defend the attorney general, and he suggested that his successful strategy could serve as a legal blueprint for confronting Mr. Holder’s own continuing difficulties, which have included a recommendation from a House oversight committee that the attorney general be cited for contempt.

“I’m pretty sure Eric has never used steroids or human growth hormone and I’m 90 percent sure he doesn’t know Brian McNamee, so I think we are already off to a good start,” Mr. Clemens said.

The former pitcher said he bore no ill will toward the attorney general, who oversees the Department of Justice, which prosecuted the case brought against Mr. Clemens.

“We don’t see eye-to-eye on everything,” the Rocket conceded, “but we both want to win and we do agree that Congress has to put an end to these unnecessary and legally suspect witch hunts that do nothing more than gin up the fringe element in our society and sully the reputations of good men like Eric who belong in the Hall of Fame.”

The pitching great, his hands shaking as he told reporters that he was “very thankful” to have the opportunity to help Mr. Holder, nearly broke down when he began speaking about the attorney general’s long career, which culminated with Mr. Holder’s appointment to head the Department of Justice.

“He has put a lot of hard work into that career,” Mr. Clemens said after pausing to fight back tears.

Portraying Rep. Darrell Issa, the Republican of California who heads the oversight committee, as a liar and “a flawed chairman” desperate to hold on to public support and “his brand,” Mr. Clemens said Congress had overstepped its bounds and suggested that perhaps it was time to inject Mr. Issa with vitamin B12 and the painkiller lidocaine “before he does any more damage.”

The former baseball star, who spent 15 minutes warming up in the bullpen before meeting with reporters, said he is disturbed to find that Congress is still abusing its power and seemed perplexed that lawmakers hadn’t learned their lesson after tangling with him. The Rocket said he was also puzzled how Mr. Holder had gotten into trouble with Congress in the first place since his name is not included in the report created by the former United States senator George J. Mitchell or in any other report about drug use in baseball.

Mr. Clemens, who was known for intimidating hitters throughout his pitching career, acknowledged that bullying was part of the game in Congress, too, but in attacking his and Mr. Holder’s good name, publicly and without cause, the government, he said, had gone too far.

“I think it’s time now for a little baseball justice,” he said, pounding his right fist into the pocket of a black Louisville baseball glove.

Mr. Clemens noted that he has been fast and furious for most of his career — making a reference to the name for the botched gun-trafficking investigation that has led to Mr. Holder’s most recent clash with Congress — and he felt that that state of being should make him particularly helpful to the attorney general in his present battle.

The baseball great said he was uncertain about what sort of legal defense he was planning to mount on Mr. Holder’s behalf or where he stood on the question of executive privilege, which President Obama has asserted to shield Justice Department documents from disclosure, but he promised that Congress from here on out will be facing an attorney general who is in the best shape of his career.

Mr. Clemens said he has already invited Mr. Holder to work out with him and his four sons on the Mall near the Washington Monument to help prepare them for their strenuous defense.

“I think we can not only win this one for Eric,” he said, “but, using my regimen, I bet we will add a split-finger fastball to his repertoire.”

Philip Maddocks is a political satire columnist for GateHouse News Service. He can be reached at pmaddocks@wickedlocal.com.

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