"My name is David Backes(notes) of the St. Louis Blues, and I'm putting together a special team, and I need me some American players. Olympic American players. Now, y'all might've heard rumors about the Winter Games happening soon. Well, I'm leaving a little earlier. I'm dropping the gloves and hitting the ice. And once I'm in enemy territory, as a one-man bushwhackin' goon army, I'm gonna be doin' one thing and one thing only ... killin' Canadians."

The above is an except from the film "Inglorious Backes," which has been playing since the U.S. Olympic team was named on Jan. 1 at Fenway Park and the St. Louis Blues forward was on it. Backes has played five games since then, and has had fights in three of them.

As The Common Room notes in a great post today, all three have been against high-ranking officers in the Team Canada hockey army: He pummeled Jonathan Toews of the Chicago Blackhawks; he spanked Corey Perry of the Anaheim Ducks; and last night against the Columbus Blue Jackets, he attempted to inflict some damage on Canadian star Rick Nash(notes), though he fell short in the fight.

As The Common Room writes: "America is going through a tough time right now, nobody can doubt that. However, with heroes like David Backes on our side, we will be fine."

Yooooo Joe! Looking at the Blues' pre-Olympic break schedule, Backes is in the early stages of storming the beaches of B.C. He's got a chance to take out Jarome Iginla(notes), Roberto Luongo(notes), Duncan Keith(notes), Keith Seabrook(notes), Patrick Marleau(notes), Joe Thornton(notes), Dany Heatley(notes), Dan Boyle(notes), Ryan Getzlaf(notes) and Scott Niedermayer(notes); not to mention a few more shots at Nash.

Fellow patriots, are you willing to answer the call of Lt. Backes and support his mission? Wait, what was that lieutenant?

"Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Canadian sticks. And I want my sticks. And all y'all will git me one hundred Canadian sticks ...

2009-2010 LGB Official Sponsor of Roman Polak2010-2011 LGB Official Sponsor of the Brad Boyes 2011 2nd round draft pick.2011-2012 LGB Official Sponsor of "The Russian" Evgeny Grachev2013 LGB Official Sponsor of David Perron 2013-2014 LGB Official Sponsor of Jay Bouwmeester

Nash definitely held his own... but he didn't damage Backes in any way. He definitely had the superior positioning in the fight for a few second and really could have effed up Backes with some uppercuts, but those few haymakers over the top while Backes's head was down were just for show. I'd think his hand was worse for wear than Backes.

Official '14-'15 sponsor of the $17.8+ trillion U.S. national debt.Past Sponsorships: '13-'14 another season of bitter disappointment; '13: communism; 11-'12: Vlad Sobotka and fake, drunken lesbianism; 10-'11: Ryan Reaves, Bo Derek's cans, Willow Palin, and the new Lightning logo; 09-'10: the epic destruction of the Politics Forum; 08-'09: Sandy Miller

2009-2010 LGB Official Sponsor of Roman Polak2010-2011 LGB Official Sponsor of the Brad Boyes 2011 2nd round draft pick.2011-2012 LGB Official Sponsor of "The Russian" Evgeny Grachev2013 LGB Official Sponsor of David Perron 2013-2014 LGB Official Sponsor of Jay Bouwmeester

goon attack wrote:When he's done with Shania, I hope he kicks Alanis square in the vajayjay.

Let's just hope he takes out the entire Nickelback lineup in one fell swoop. Do it for America, Dave!

Then Sum41.

2009-2010 LGB Official Sponsor of Roman Polak2010-2011 LGB Official Sponsor of the Brad Boyes 2011 2nd round draft pick.2011-2012 LGB Official Sponsor of "The Russian" Evgeny Grachev2013 LGB Official Sponsor of David Perron 2013-2014 LGB Official Sponsor of Jay Bouwmeester