Here's another concept to fathom. Why do people get married? Do women get married in fear that their biological Clocks will terminate? Do men marry in fear of growing old and dying alone? Or why do people get married in the first place anymore? Well let me tell ya, the "We are in lOVE with each other" answer usually isn't the case.

I bring this up because of the marriage and divorce rates in America. Do you ever wonder WHY it is SO EASY to get married but it is so HARD to get DIVORCED? Divorces take half of what you own, and usually the woman gets Child Custody!

And what constitutes so many divorces? Maybe the standard way of finding your mate. In dark and dank Bars where everyone is just as general as everyone else.

And what I don't get is...MARRIAGE is really a big step. I mean instead of getting married. Why odn't people just decide to swear their SOULS to each other or something and move in with one another! THat way, if it gets boring or bad, you have no obligation to stay, and you can just leave, free of any legal red-tape.

2 people actually loving one another is a good reason. true you can carry on the same relationship with a person even if you aren't married to him/her. but marriage is a loving promise to commit, for the rest of their lives...it's just a nice thing to do, i know that i plan to do it:)

At 12/25/02 11:13 PM, bungled_girl wrote:
2 people actually loving one another is a good reason. true you can carry on the same relationship with a person even if you aren't married to him/her. but marriage is a loving promise to commit, for the rest of their lives...it's just a nice thing to do, i know that i plan to do it:)

~Shar

Well, I guess. But it tends to be that divorce is quite rampant. Maybe people marry someone they don't know really. Usually divorces are about...you guesses it...one of the roots of evil...MONEY and GREED!

Still here's a way to know that your lover may be the ONE. Plan a trip where you will be on the road and have INTENTIONAL circumstances that are irritating. (I.E. cramped car, Extreme Heat or Cold, No Food...) Your mate's real side will probably show thru then. If you can put up with them at their WORST and still have no doubts about your love for them, then maybe yeah...

At 12/25/02 11:13 PM, bungled_girl wrote:
2 people actually loving one another is a good reason. true you can carry on the same relationship with a person even if you aren't married to him/her. but marriage is a loving promise to commit, for the rest of their lives...it's just a nice thing to do, i know that i plan to do it:)

~Shar

yea i wuz about to say that when people get married its a commitment of some kind to stay together and cherish each other in good times and in bad. Also it shows that u really love a person to be with them unless ur an immigrant and married them to keep ur ass in the country ^_^

I think people want to get married because they want to spend their life with someone, start a family with them, be with them. You can do this without being married, but that's not so symbolically "secure", you know? Like with marriage, theoretically at least, you're to be with that person for the rest of your life because you want to be with them for the rest of your life.

Unfortunately sometimes people change for the worse, or they pick people who are wrong for them, they are too hasty, they marry for the wrong reasons (money, prestige, 15-minutes-of-fame, to please others) or a multitude of other reasons that lead to short marriages.

Marriage doesn't seem too bad... then again, I really have no room to talk considering I'm only 14, but I don't care. My girlfriend and I always talk about it... jokingly, of course, but hey, it makes for interesting conversation. My Uncle Brian just got married, and Kenzie and I talked to him about it. He seems pretty happy... if me and Kenzie stay together long enough, I think Brian talked us into it. Meh... maybe it's just a pipe dream of mine though... but I'm not on anything! Meh... I'll shut up now. :(

Eventually most people can't resist the urge to have kids. It's not such a big deal these days I guess but when I was a kid there was a lot of shame associated with being born out of wedlock. I think many do it to avoid this shame for themselves and their children.

I agree with that. There is another factor that plays in sometimes. If you come from a really religious family and you go out and get knocked up or knock somebody up, you better get ready to kiss that freedom goodbye. Religious parents will force their kids to marry in order to give the baby a name. That has happened to a couple of my friends.

For some people its all about kids. I am 24 married with two kids. I wouldn't trade my girls for anything. There are times when I wonder why the hell I got married, but I realize that deep down I love my wife. I just don't like her sometimes.

At 12/26/02 01:28 AM, mattymetro wrote:
I dont think that I would ever consider marriage...
Not in this day and age.. and not being the realistic person that I have become...

what are modern relationships?

Although i've been married 1 whole decade, my 9 y/o daughter has hardly ever seen me because we have remained seperated (not actually divorced) almost throughout. Conversely i have a sister who has been "living defacto" for just as long, and with the same partner, and they have couple of kids who have never been without solid loving parents.

but "shacking up" is really the kicker!

Although i'm living on an island as far from complex life as one can possibly get, we have new defacto laws which state; "a defacto relationship of three years is considered marriage by legislation". This legislation was inacted retrospectively on all couples already in a defacto relationship beginning 1 February 2002.

So if you've been "shacked up" for just three years but decide to separate, then the same rules will apply to defacto and same sex couples as if they were married (although gays can't yet marry legally) ..and as such all property will be divided half each.

Say you are in a defacto relationship that commenced on 1 August 1999 and you only just separated on 1 September 2002. Then although the new law is only 10 months old, when it comes to dividing ALL your properties, such couples will be deemed to have been living together for a period of three years and thus be legally subject to equal sharing of EVERYTHING!!!

The big question under the new law is: "What does living in a defacto relationship mean?" The Act says it means "living as a couple" which sets out criteria for the Court to consider when deciding whether or not people have been living in a defacto relationship - or not.

But essentially, you could be some otherwise unaware hill-billy farmer who's family has owned the same plot of land for MANY generations, but still be forced by the courts to sell "at current market value" ALL such properties in order to "pay off" your 3 year "live-in neighbour"

At 12/26/02 05:23 AM, agent66 wrote:
Eventually most people can't resist the urge to have kids. It's not such a big deal these days I guess but when I was a kid there was a lot of shame associated with being born out of wedlock. I think many do it to avoid this shame for themselves and their children.

Ture, but I think this "shame" is really undermined as of today. I mean there arep lenty of single motehrs and fathers aout there. Having a baby out of "wedlock" doesn't diminish a person...in my own opinion at least. Besides, society is more diverse and accepting it seems..

Frankly, I'm totally jaded against the idea of marriage. It's just not for me.

I'd be more likely to have a girlfriend for life, just so we could take time outs away from each other cause often times, you need your own space no matter what you think. Also, this can somehow make the sex seem better in a way, as long as you both are still using protection.