Where authentic faith meets a messy life

For Better or Worse

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Our engagement picture..a decade ago!

Last Friday was our 10th wedding anniversary. The traditional gift for 10 years is aluminum or tin (who does that, anyway?); a modern gift is diamond jewelry (now we’re talking!). Nothing against tradition or modern gift-giving, but neither of those gifts really captured this anniversary. Instead, we dubbed this the “antibiotic anniversary.”

You see, we spent Friday taking turns in different waiting rooms. He waited for me while I had a routine scan taken. I waited for him to find out he has pneumonia. Instead of a romantic dinner, we filled prescriptions. Instead of an evening out, we broke out the thermometer and humidifier. (We did manage to hit a drive-thru for my favorite fall treat…a pumpkin pie concrete from Andy’s.)

If you had asked me on my honeymoon what I wanted to be doing on our 10th anniversary, I would not have said, “Oh, recovery from surgery sounds good, and maybe a bit of bronchitis and pneumonia thrown in.” No, it probably would have included words like, weekend getaway, cruise, or cabin in the mountains.

But that’s OK. I didn’t marry my man for what he could do for me or what he could give me. I married him because he’s the love of my life. I married him because I knew that I wanted to do life with him…every moment of every day.

In the last 10 years, we’ve seen “better” (children, vacations, celebrations) and “worse” (newborn-induced sleep deprivation, arguments, family drama). We’ve seen “richer” (pay raises and bonuses) and “poorer” (job loss and career changes). We’ve seen “sickness” (ear infections, pneumonia, cancer) and “health.” In every moment, he’s been there, praying with me and for me, holding me, and walking with me every step of the way.

So while a doctor’s office wasn’t part of the original plan for our anniversary celebration, it was made better by the fact that I was with my best friend. That makes everything better (that and a pumpkin pie concrete!).

That was so wonderfully written and felt. Terry & I just celebrated our 16yr anniversary Nov 2. We’ve gone through it all except the “sickness” part, but i know with the years ahead of us, that too will come. I pray we will be there for each other, the way the two of you have. Thanks for the thoughtful blog. Marriage is wonderful, isn’t it!

Your anniversary evening, while not what you would have planned, sure was a poignant picture of what marriage really is about, you and your husband acting out the (for better or) worse and the sickness (and in health) of the vows. I got to read your cancer story, too. I have a friend in my in-person writer’s group who just had surgery last week for a recurrence and she has talked a lot about that lingering question that hangs over her head and how tough it was to find out the news that it had made a comeback. Praying for both you and her as I close out here, that you would experience physical healing and the nearness of God in the waiting.

Your words are wonderful and put such a great picture to what marriage looks like and is down in the trenches, the amazing beautiful and the yucky muck all combined together to make a tremendous gift. Thanks for sharing!

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About Nancy

Nancy is a lover of words and all things chocolate. She is married to her best friend, and when she’s not settling sibling squabbles among her two children, she can be found sipping coffee and writing about faith, family, and finding grace in the journey. Read more here.