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Is my daughter just acting typical of her age or is it something else?

My daughter is almost 4. I would say before she was about 18 months or so we noticed her behavior was very aggressive. Still nothing has changed. Although when she is in school for a short period of time she is fine. At home or when we are out she usually only displays these behaviors. She can go from sweet and innocent to shrieking and throwing herself all over the place in less than 60 seconds. nothing keeps her attention. she wont color for more than a minute or two. its hard to watch tv most times. she is always fidgity. she likes to start fights with her other brothers and sisters. just doesnt know when to stop. she doesnt listen. although every once in awhile she will. if she doesnt have things her way she has a tantrum. every night before bed she has some kind of tantrum. there have been very few nights when we havent in the last 2 yrs or so.
we thought it was bc she is a middle child. but this started well before that

Is she getting enough one on one time with you and DH? Plus praise when she does things right? It could be part of it.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 3:26 PM on Jul. 20, 2010

Although most of her behaviour sounds normal, I still am going to suggest. I don't normally suggest this, because I don't agree that children under the age of six can really be diagnosed properly. However, her behaviour does fit the classic symptoms of ADHD. Now, before you go and say "Yep she has it" I want you to research it properly. Most children her age do have the same symptoms and behaviours as a child with ADHD, but your daughter seems to show the signs that are unique to ADHD. I would talk to her pediatrician about it. Really get her tested. Because if her behaviour has lasted since she was a year old, then it might be that she does have ADHD. Most children who have this behaviour pattern only show the behaviour for a short period. Usually it is a stage, but over the course of years isn't neccisarily normal. So talk to her pediatrician about getting her tested.

see and this is why i posted it. i have been researching adhd because i thought she might. when i mentioned it when my daughter first showed these behaviors the dr said it was just her age. well, she hasnt gotten any better. its only gotten worse with age. she says rude things, even to strangers. she is constantly wild. reading a story to her is even hard because she wont sit for more than maybe a page or so. but since she doesnt act like this at school thats where i question it. all of her teachers have said they couldnt imagine her being like this. she is in speech therapy and they were going to have her see a social worker. now, i am starting to think i should do that. but i am definetly bring this up again when i take her for her 4yr check up with the dr. i just wanted to see if i am just crazy thinking that my daughter is wild and out of control or if this is normal behavior.

yes, i try to divide my time equally. i have five kids. she is the 3rd. she has a twin brother and then i have 2 yr old girl twins. my oldest is 6. we do try to reward but that doesnt seem to work all that well. she still likes her bad behavior. i try to do things with her and her only but she always gets mad bc its not her way or if i take her out she's bored the moment we are in the car and she is screaming wanting to go back home. i stopped taking her out shopping by herself. we took her to the movies and it was kind of late but she is a night person and she had a hard time sitting through it. my mom had taken her by herself to see a movie once and she watched it but talked alot and fidgetied. time outs dont work either, neither does taking things away. she usually forgets they are gone. i have her trying to take a nap right now and she wont sleep. she is bouncing around while her brother is sleeping.

It sounds to me like that's just her personality that she's developed to be an individual in the house. I've worked with a lot of kids with ADHD and it doesn't sound like it if she's better at school then at home. She is 4 years old and it's not that uncommon that she would forget that you took something away from her, that she doesn't like naps and that she wouldn't sit down in the movies for two hours. I'm not trying to be rude honestly. She seems difficult but not mentally incapable of functioning.