I'm prepared to believe that an article written an unknown number of years ago but read in college (we'll average that out as about 35 years ago) was not the most up to date with CURRENT Egyptology!

Ms Mertz had a PhD in Egyptology from the University of Chicago. She knew her stuff and kept up to date; her two non-fiction books were revised within the last 6 years or so. Her thesis- Egyptian queens and the throne. So yes the woman knew what she was talking about.

Okay - time to hit the library and do a little light reading on Egyptian queens! Well - maybe after Thanksgiving - I need to research some recipes right now (VorGuy's diabetes means double checking the current recipes).

Yeah, they're really sweet boys mostly. They claim they prefer me to the other night guy because I'm prettier. He was a little offended by that at first, until one taxi driver pointed out that surely Ollie didn't want to be flirted with by a bunch of bored taxi drivers in the middle of the night!

Fun one: This email was sent to me, but I don't have anything to do with the equipment he is asking about. I forwarded it to the correct person, but I had to laugh at the request. My internal comments are bolded.

"My name is xxx and this is my first time submitting anything to be cut on the [very slow piece of equipment] and I hope this is the correct email account (it was on the university website) [not sure where he got that, as I have nothing to do with this equipment, and nowhere does it even imply that I have anything to do with it]. I left 4 pieces of plywood outside the [shop] earlier today with my name on them in tape. I'm not sure if the file I'm sending you has more than one sheet in the design but i will need eight forms and i'll need them before thanksgiving break (if possible). [break starts later today, this was sent late yesterday afternoon, after the facility in question closed for the day. Did I mention that the equipment he wants to use is fully booked and SLOW?]

If their are any problems let me know and ill fix them right away.

Thank you!"

Seriously, sometimes I think the students hear the word "computer" and think MAGIC happens... These forms that he wants are very large (I opened the file out of curiosity). Easily would take 30 minutes each to cut, if not longer. My coworker who IS in charge of this equipment replied back that he'd talk to him, and added that it'd be a yes and no reply. They are not open over the weekend or evenings, and they already had a full schedule of jobs for today. I'm guessing this is going to involve my coworker staying late, or else he came in early, from what I gathered from the rest of his email.

If it had been me, the answer would have been no. I would move heaven and earth to come in early in case of a true emergency (like if he had to recut due to something getting stolen or vandalized), but not for a lack of planning like this. Actions have consequences, and that is on of the biggest lesson we can teach our students (the other is: Crap happens, and stuff breaks!).

This one happened to me yesterday morning:

I oversee three very in-demand pieces of equipment, as part of my job. These items are so in demand, that we have to have a lottery to determine the order that students line up to sign up for time on the equipment, since we used to have people camping out 16 hours + ahead of the posting of the new sign-up sheets (they are released a week at a time). With careful planning and organization, all 100 students in line got time on the equipment, but some of the questions made me shake my head. I'm sharing the best:

"What if there is no time that I can use?"

We are open 24 hours a day, there is no more time I can add.

"But what if I can't make it any of those times?"

I really can't be open any more than 24 hours a day.

"But why not?"

Fantasy answer: You see Young Padawan, the earth rotates around its axis. It takes 24 hours to complete a rotation. One rotation is one day. We are open ALL of the hours in the day, there are no more. I can't bend space and time and create more hours in a day, no matter how much you pout. Not impressed. Okay, just kidding, you can have the 25 o'clock session.

What she meant was, "I don't want to have to come in at 6 am to use this piece of equipment that I really need to use to complete my project."

I also had someone ask if we'd be getting a 4th piece of equipment, because apparently my facility has been mistaken for the Tardis...

Snip . . . Librarian brings half a dozen books on the war to the patron.Patron storms back.Pat: This book is about how the war got started! I told you I want everything on the war! Everything!Librarian gets more books. Pat: (now really mad) I want to read about the %$#^in' field hospitals and you didn't bring me nothing about them!Lib: I did ask you if there was an area you were interested in and you told me everything. You'll need to check the indexes for...Pat: You guys never help me at all! You're supposed to be helping me get what I want! I HATE this library! (storms out)

Librarian is left wishing that a small blue police call box would materialize and take her away. Anywhere.

Actually if the small blue police call box did appear, you could have it take the patron to the Civil War and leave them there . Problem solved!

Snip . . . Librarian brings half a dozen books on the war to the patron.Patron storms back.Pat: This book is about how the war got started! I told you I want everything on the war! Everything!Librarian gets more books. Pat: (now really mad) I want to read about the %$#^in' field hospitals and you didn't bring me nothing about them!Lib: I did ask you if there was an area you were interested in and you told me everything. You'll need to check the indexes for...Pat: You guys never help me at all! You're supposed to be helping me get what I want! I HATE this library! (storms out)

Librarian is left wishing that a small blue police call box would materialize and take her away. Anywhere.

Actually if the small blue police call box did appear, you could have it take the patron to the Civil War and leave them there . Problem solved!

Fixed that for ya

I recommend Antietam.

Dropped in Antietam Creek, or in the town of Sharpsburg? (not far from here, btw.)

Logged

"The Universe puts us in places where we can learn. They are never easy places, but they are right. Wherever we are, it's the right place and the right time. Pain that sometimes comes is part of the process of constantly being born." - Delenn to Sheridan: "Babylon 5 - Distant Star"

Snip . . . Librarian brings half a dozen books on the war to the patron.Patron storms back.Pat: This book is about how the war got started! I told you I want everything on the war! Everything!Librarian gets more books. Pat: (now really mad) I want to read about the %$#^in' field hospitals and you didn't bring me nothing about them!Lib: I did ask you if there was an area you were interested in and you told me everything. You'll need to check the indexes for...Pat: You guys never help me at all! You're supposed to be helping me get what I want! I HATE this library! (storms out)

Librarian is left wishing that a small blue police call box would materialize and take her away. Anywhere.

Actually if the small blue police call box did appear, you could have it take the patron to the Civil War and leave them there . Problem solved!

Fixed that for ya

I recommend Antietam.

Dropped in Antietam Creek, or in the town of Sharpsburg? (not far from here, btw.)

No thank you, they're not welcome in my state. Send them up to Gettysburg

Snip . . . Librarian brings half a dozen books on the war to the patron.Patron storms back.Pat: This book is about how the war got started! I told you I want everything on the war! Everything!Librarian gets more books. Pat: (now really mad) I want to read about the %$#^in' field hospitals and you didn't bring me nothing about them!Lib: I did ask you if there was an area you were interested in and you told me everything. You'll need to check the indexes for...Pat: You guys never help me at all! You're supposed to be helping me get what I want! I HATE this library! (storms out)

Librarian is left wishing that a small blue police call box would materialize and take her away. Anywhere.

Actually if the small blue police call box did appear, you could have it take the patron to the Civil War and leave them there . Problem solved!

Fixed that for ya

I recommend Antietam.

Dropped in Antietam Creek, or in the town of Sharpsburg? (not far from here, btw.)

No thank you, they're not welcome in my state. Send them up to Gettysburg

Do we even have to drop them in the American Civil War? There are other countries with perfectly good Civil Wars to drop them in!

Our impossible patron request for today:

"I don't want to give you any information about my device so you can troubleshoot! Just fix it now!"

Snip . . . Librarian brings half a dozen books on the war to the patron.Patron storms back.Pat: This book is about how the war got started! I told you I want everything on the war! Everything!Librarian gets more books. Pat: (now really mad) I want to read about the %$#^in' field hospitals and you didn't bring me nothing about them!Lib: I did ask you if there was an area you were interested in and you told me everything. You'll need to check the indexes for...Pat: You guys never help me at all! You're supposed to be helping me get what I want! I HATE this library! (storms out)

Librarian is left wishing that a small blue police call box would materialize and take her away. Anywhere.

Actually if the small blue police call box did appear, you could have it take the patron to the Civil War and leave them there . Problem solved!

Fixed that for ya

I recommend Antietam.

Dropped in Antietam Creek, or in the town of Sharpsburg? (not far from here, btw.)

Why, in a field hospital, of course. Wherever they were located.

I went to see 'Glory' with a friend who was not a Civil War scholar. When the title 'Antietam' came up on the screen, I knew what I was going to see. She didn't. I thought she was going to crawl under her seat. One of the times in my life I wish I had given a spoiler.

Snip . . . Librarian brings half a dozen books on the war to the patron.Patron storms back.Pat: This book is about how the war got started! I told you I want everything on the war! Everything!Librarian gets more books. Pat: (now really mad) I want to read about the %$#^in' field hospitals and you didn't bring me nothing about them!Lib: I did ask you if there was an area you were interested in and you told me everything. You'll need to check the indexes for...Pat: You guys never help me at all! You're supposed to be helping me get what I want! I HATE this library! (storms out)

Librarian is left wishing that a small blue police call box would materialize and take her away. Anywhere.

Actually if the small blue police call box did appear, you could have it take the patron to the Civil War and leave them there . Problem solved!

Fixed that for ya

I recommend Antietam.

Dropped in Antietam Creek, or in the town of Sharpsburg? (not far from here, btw.)

No thank you, they're not welcome in my state. Send them up to Gettysburg

I figured they could tour the field hospitals of Antietam, and THEN go check out Gettysburg.

Snip . . . Librarian brings half a dozen books on the war to the patron.Patron storms back.Pat: This book is about how the war got started! I told you I want everything on the war! Everything!Librarian gets more books. Pat: (now really mad) I want to read about the %$#^in' field hospitals and you didn't bring me nothing about them!Lib: I did ask you if there was an area you were interested in and you told me everything. You'll need to check the indexes for...Pat: You guys never help me at all! You're supposed to be helping me get what I want! I HATE this library! (storms out)

Librarian is left wishing that a small blue police call box would materialize and take her away. Anywhere.

Actually if the small blue police call box did appear, you could have it take the patron to the Civil War and leave them there . Problem solved!

Fixed that for ya

I recommend Antietam.

Dropped in Antietam Creek, or in the town of Sharpsburg? (not far from here, btw.)

No thank you, they're not welcome in my state. Send them up to Gettysburg

I figured they could tour the field hospitals of Antietam, and THEN go check out Gettysburg.

Extra points for landing said patron right smack dab at Devil's Den at 5:30 p.m. on July 2, 1863. (Thank you, Ken Burns.)

Once again, I am left slack jawed by your awesome inability to understand that a film that is currently "in production" is NOT available immediately for your consumption. Therefore, as much as you may WANT to see "Saving Dory", it isn't even off the computer generator yet and won't be in theaters (at this point) until 2016. The DVD will likely be available in 2017. Please, for the love of G_d and my own sanity, STOP ASKING ME FOR IT.

Also, to the lady who keeps asking, demanding and crying for The Long Kiss Goodnight. It was purchased weeks ago and put on hold for you. Why didn't you pick it up?

Finally, same lady: help me out here, sweetheart. There are three copies of World War Z on the shelf as I type. You want me to buy another copy because it was checked out when you looked? Pumpkin, come and talk to me about learning to put holds on movies you want to see. It's an awesome way of getting what you want!

Finally, same lady: help me out here, sweetheart. There are three copies of World War Z on the shelf as I type. You want me to buy another copy because it was checked out when you looked? Pumpkin, come and talk to me about learning to put holds on movies you want to see. It's an awesome way of getting what you want!

These people drive me nuts.

"Do you have <Brand New Popular Movie> in?"

"No, all the copies in the system are checked out. Would you like me to put it on hold for you?"

"No, no, I'll just check again this weekend."

Make it three or four months from now and maybe there'll be a copy on the shelf. But heck, at least we'll eventually have a copy on the shelf. Another type of nitwit really takes the cake.

"Do you have <Older obscure movie> in?"

"We don't own that one, actually, but it's available at another branch. Would you like me to put it on hold for you?"