The last time Dan Snyder subjected himself to the terrifying bright lights of a studio interview, it was June, and it was bullshit. Back then, he went on the D.C. affiliates of FOX and NBC and agreed to pretend that his flack, Tony Wyllie, hadn't planted every single question. It was so scripted that the two segments actually mirrored one another, and the FOX 5 Sports Director Dave Feldman actually ended up asking Snyder, among a litany of other hard-hitting personal interest questions, "Are you a movie guy?"

Dan Snyder doesn't do many interviews. The reason: When Dan Snyder opens his mouth, he…
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Yesterday, though, Snyder once again took the plunge into television interviews. But this time around, the stakes were somehow even lower than they were in that June circuit: His interview was with Sullivan Carr, an 11-year-old Redskins fan from Leesburg, Va., and it was for Redskins Nation, the team-produced show that now airs on Comcast SportsNet. This, Snyder admitted at the end of the six-minute segment, was the "most thorough" interview he'd granted in a long time; Dan Steinberg over at the D.C. Sports Bog points out that the owner rarely even grants media access mid-season. But he did yesterday. With a fifth grader.

We've condensed the interview in the video above. Snyder strolls into the studio as if it's a surprise ("Wait—what are you doing? What are you doing here?" host Larry Michael says), even though he's been invited, and even though Carr has a folder full of prepared questions for him. And the fifth grader does a good job, even if he is totally unaware that he's talking to one of the most despicable men in sports. It's unintentional, but the long pauses after Snyder's most insufferable answers (the best thing about owning the Redskins, he says, is "beatin' Dallas") are comical.

Notice, too, the repetition from those June interviews. There are two moments here in which the exchanges exactly mirror moments from the FOX and NBC sit-downs. The surprising thing we all would be surprised to learn about Dan Snyder? His excellent sense of humor, of course. And his favorite sport, other than football? Basketball. He remembers sitting in the $3 seats at Bullets games with his father, when the announcer would call out "The Big E!" whenever Elvin Hayes scored a basket. Dan Snyder really, really loves Dan Snyder's "Big E" anecdote.

(If I ever meet Dan Snyder, I'll ask him, "What's your favorite sport, other than football?" And then I'll answer it for him, word for word, and when I'm done I'll make a follow-through motion with my right arm and I'll yell, "The Big E!" But I'll be referring to myself, of course, and he will be speechless. It's going to be great.)

When Carr actually gets in a legitimate question, Snyder flounders:

Carr (who is 11 years old): What were your thoughts about the NFL lockout?

Snyder (who is 46 years old): Oooh... Tough question, tough—good question. You're gonna be a journalist. My father went to Missouri; you can go there, it's a great school. Um. We named a building before he passed away. But, uh... It, uh... The, uh... Probably, uh, um... Uh... Tough question. Tough question. Give me the next question.

Carr: OK. What do you like to do in your spare time?

In his spare time, we find out, Dan Snyder likes to hang out with his family.