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I saw ‘Highlander II: The Quickening’ at a cinema in the UK in 1991 with a group of friends. Opinion was divided evenly between us as we left: the males amongst us hated it; the females loved it. I still can’t explain that.

Fast-forward to 2018: I decide to give this film another look. A serious, in-depth look. Because… actually, I don’t know why. Morbid curiosity, I suppose. To get into the Highlander mindset, I rewatch the original, and discover it to be as good as I recall, overall. It has a moody, Terminator-like atmosphere, or maybe just a generic 80s action movie feel. But it’s fun, the flashbacks work well, the villain is cool, Lamberts’ accent is all-over-the-place while Connery (Egyptian..?) just plays Connery and why not?

So, onto Highlander II. I start with a VHS copy of ‘The Quickening’. Extensive Google research tells me that this US copy is not the version I saw in Manchester in 1991, but time has healed those painful memories and I can’t tell the difference. This movie is still a mess. I have no idea why or how the antiques dealer in 1985 became a computer engineering genius by 1999. Oh, and he’s an alien. But he’s forgotten that, apparently. He can still go back to his home planet and be immortal again, or die on Earth, which seems the most likely outcome as he doesn’t look good. But, just to be on the safe side, the Bad Guy sends his Crazed Henchmen to Earth to kill him because… no, I didn’t catch the reason. Except that if he didn’t, there would be no film, and therefore no decades of pain for Highlander fans everywhere.

Or not. There’s stuff going on, certainly, but apart from the multiple times you will think to yourself, “Doesn’t Michael Ironside look like Jack Nicholson?” there’s not much enjoyment to be had. The special effects are bad. The dialogue is bad. Sean Connery is obviously having a great time, no doubt picking up a fat check, and so you desperately want some of that fun to rub off on you. But it just doesn’t. The film ends on a freeze-frame and you are left blinking. What was that?

Next up: Highlander 2: Renegade edition. Here we have the Director’s cut, which takes the chronological version and reinstates past scenes as flashbacks, as originally intended. Not just that, but adds deleted footage, longer takes and even new footage filmed especially for this version. Most noticeable, though, is the alien planet aspect. Now the Immortals are from a long, long time ago – you know, when we had time travel. The Scot and the Egyptian are exiled into the future, and the Bad Guy still wants to kill the remaining immortal (who is now mortal) because... no, I missed it again. But anyway, you know what? I didn’t care. Because I actually found myself enjoying this film. It’s not half bad. I mean, it’s still not a good film, but it’s certainly more watchable and comprehensible. If the Highlander element had been removed entirely from this film and it was just an eco-thriller action movie (Evil Corp. needs to ensure Shield is kept in place. Only one man can stop them) it might have been a dated but beloved cult classic by now. If Highlander reminded me of ‘Terminator’, this version of ‘Highlander 2’ reminded me of ‘Total Recall’ – just not as fun.

Finally, we come to the Special Edition. Say what you will about director Russell Mulcahy, he’s nothing if not tenacious. In 2004, he returned again to ‘Highlander 2’ and updated the effects, as no fans anywhere wanted. To offset some of the déjà-vu of watching this film for a third time within a week, I watched the Special Edition while listening to the director & producer commentary from the Renegade version. I can therefore definitively tell you that the Special Edition has one small scene removed - that being towards the end where MacLeod & Marcus are storming the Shield Control, which doesn’t make any difference to the plot but did cock up the delicate synching I was attempting. Anyway, the commentary doesn’t tell you much more than you already heard in the ‘Making of’ documentary (oh yes, I watched that too), and the special effects, though certainly better, aren’t reason enough to revisit this film.