Hello everyone who made it to this guide from the link to MustLoveRobots.com that I submitted to the Link of the Day. Sorry that you're getting here so late. I had never submitted to LotD before, so I had no idea there was such a backlog of sites. But you're here now and watching the videos on MLR and talking to Tim and 011ie so that's great!

This guide was written in order to keep track of the underlying Alternate Reality Game (ARG) that Must Love Robots had in addition to just the webseries. If you have no idea what an ARG is, you might want to check out ARGN's links on What is an ARG? and How Do You Play? I try to write my guides as step-by-step as possible so that even the newest of newcomers can follow along without too much trouble. But I also know that I've been doing this for far too long so I might make some leaps that make absolutely no sense to anyone who doesn't have specialized knowledge - so if you have any questions, please drop me a line (rowan dot lambelle at this domain or @rowan72 on Twitter) and I'll try to get back to you within a reasonable amount of time.

One other thing you should know: I rant a lot. Mostly about people not playing this game. But I'm not ranting about you because you just got here. I'm ranting at the others who knew and didn't play. So, if you see me going off on a tangent, just ignore it, because I love you guys for showing up in droves.

Last thing: the index page has a list of all of the websites connected to MLR. It also teaches you about the § symbol that I utilize heavily in my guides. But in case you don't want to click over there and be subjected to a huge rant, I'll give you the instructions here. When you see this symbol: §it means that there is additional text available. Just click on it and the text should drop down below.

See! Nifty! Maybe not, but it's worked well for me this long and I see no reason to change now.

So that's it. I hope you have fun as you go through Must Love Robots and this guide. Overall, I have to say this has been my favorite game in the five years that I've been playing ARGs. I've played some pretty incredible games over the years and for me to say that this is my favorite really means something. I can only hope that you have even a fraction of the amusement that I did.

Crowdsourcing That Shit

One of the best segments of the ARG Netcast is Crowdsource That Shit. Not because I enjoy crowdsourcing, but because it's just so funny to listen to SpaceBass trying to convince everyone to do stuff for him. During Podcast #89, Space wanted to find out what kind of dog biscuit he received in the mail from the Werewolf game. Although I had no interest in either tracking down the dog biscuit, or playing a game that basically just presented me with some random glyphs trying to make intrigued enough to solve them, I was interested in one of the other items Space had gotten in the mail at the same time.

It was a postcard from a robot named 011iver. Apparently robots need love too, and think that the best way to get that is to send off postcards to random ARG guys. Why didn't I get a postcard? At least I'm a girl unlike SpaceBass and jamesi. Granted I'm not as pretty as either one of them, but still, I have breasts! And I love postcards! Postcards and smooshed pennies are two of my favorite souvenirs. But hardly anyone ever sends me any. :(

MustLoveRobots.com is the website of Tim Scribbles, a Brooklynite whose roommate just happens to be a robot named 011iver. For some reason, 011iver has a hard time meeting girls, so Tim set up Must Love Robots to get the word out about robots and to find 011iver a date. The first video explains exactly what the website is about.
§

Tim: Hello Internet. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Timothy Scribbles. And this here is a blog that I've designed to help chronicle my roommate 011iver's quest to find love.

Love is magical. Let's be honest with each other. Let's be honest with each other for a second: Love is magical. It's like getting hit with 1.21 gigawatts of electricity right in your heart. Heart's flux capacitor.

But 011iver's never experienced that. 011iver is a shy guy. 011iver is a sweet a guy. 011iver is a lover of fine clothing. 011iver is a lover of John Fogerty. But 011iver is a robot.

Life can be tough when you're one of the only robots in Brooklyn. People always stare. Nobody understands. Hell, I don't understand.

011iver makes designer t-shirts for men that prefer a life of passivity rather than one of activity. More specifically, t-shirts for lazy guys.

But no matter how successful 011iver's mildly successful company is, he is still depressed. I theorize, now granted this is only a theory, I theorize that 011iver is depressed of a severe lack of a .gif. That's a girlfriend.

Tim: Yeah, well, you know. You're a robot. I'm a dude. I'm trying to like parlay this thing. You'll be having ladies knock-knock-knocking at your door. You know, and I'm like amazing editor and shit. And so it's like, going to be, like, celebrities and shit. Alec Baldwin, you know. Does that make any sense to you?

011iver: I don't want to have sex with Alec Baldwin. Ugh, I think I'm gonna vomit.

Tim: Robo-hunnies love watching videos. Twenty million Youtube hits.

011iver: Shut up. I'm not gonna like it. I'm not gonna have fun. But, we can do it.

Tim: Yes! I've already been working on music for it. You should check out this thing I'm working on. Check this out.

Absolutely freaking hilarious. I totally love that being a robot means that you are just wearing a couple of cardboard boxes around your body.

Robot Friend Finder

The second video on the site is of poor 011iver getting questioned by Tim so that 011iver can impress the ladies with his answers. Is it just me or does the answers that Tim creates for 011iver make him sound, I dunno, false? Like he's just trying to impress women because he's desperate? Okay, the three Big Macs answer needed some work, but I'm sure there are tons of robogirls who would like a guy that was into comics or Star Wars.
§

Tim: Okay, we're set up here. Come on. Okay, you're just gonna sit there and you're gonna tell the ladies a little bit about yourself and you're gonna try to impress them. Okay?

011iver: Okay. Hello, ladies. My name is 011iver. My interests are comic books, and video games, and... Sesame chicken! But the kind where they put the real sesame seeds on it, like they do at Dragon China, not like the ones at Happy Family Restaurant. They just do too much stuff with the... it's ridiculous.

Tim: Umm, okay! We should... we should try something else. This isn't really working here.

011iver (with Tim's voice): Hello! My name is 011iver! I'm a fashion designer! I'm looking for a creative and fun robot for a long term relationship. I'm well versed in lovemaking, and I can do multiple push-ups.

011iver: I can only do a push-up.

Tim: Okay, let's try something else. Okay? How about interview style? More relaxing? We can move over to the couch. Come on.

Must Love Robots theme song

Tim: All right, okay. I'm signing you up for a... okay. So, I'm signing you up for an account on RobotFriendFinder.com and I need you to help me answer a couple of questions.

Chuck: What are you guys doing? So, you want me to say a little bit about 011ie?

Tim: Yeah, Chuck, that would be great.

Chuck: Okay.

Tim: And keep it positive. I think that potential girlfriends of 011ie would like a perspective, you know a woman's perspective.

Chuck: Right, okay. Well, I've known 011ie for a very long time. We go way back. He's really funny. Well, like there was this one time in college where we were trying to get into the Guggenheim. You remember? And 011ie couldn't get through the metal detector and Tim, you were totally blackout drunk.

011iver: Oh Tim! You're so funny and clever and have such great taste in music.

Tim: Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

011iver: ..-. ..- -.-. -.- ..- [translation: fuck u]

Chuck: You're wondering who I am...

Tim: Secret secret! I've got a secret!

In case you missed it, Tim said he was signing 011iver up at a place called RobotFriendFinder.com. The video on the splash page is a brilliant spoof on eHarmony. I especially love the robot-girl getting spun around while dancing.
§

Boy Robot: She calculated differential equations for scientists, so on our first date, we talked about Pi - for two hours! She made my circuity feel antiquated. But then I displayed my computing power by determining the trajectory of an airplane! Ha!

Girl Robot: Yes, although his processor is not as new as mine, I find his speed charming.

Boy Robot: I suppose it's the data on the inside that matters. Not the operating system on the outside.

Dr. Carol Coldoil: Experience the magic and joy of true compatibility. We have over 0011001100110110 [36] characteristics to help match you with your soulbot. Characteristics like voltage, programming languages, compatible operating systems, and of course, hotness. You won't be disappointed. RobotFriendFinder.com. Log on today.

that reads "There is nothing to see here in this code, human. Your human brain is not capable of processing the intricacies of complex web code written by sophisticated machines such as myself, please return to the aesthetically pleasing site we created." Awesome! I've been insulted by a robot!

Clicking through will take you to RobotFriendFinder.ning.com where you can sign up to find your true robot mate. I think they exaggerate a bit when they say there are 36 different characteristics, since it only asks you 8 questions on your profile. But what do I know? Maybe there are super secret robot only questions that I can't find because I'm just a stupid human.

Be sure to check out the video Tim made as his introduction to RobotFriendFinder.
§

Tim: Oh, hello, I didn't see you there. My name is Tim and I bet you're wondering what a man like me is doing in a robot place like this. Well, the thing is I sorta consider myself a little bit of a matchmaker and my roommate's a robot. So I thought I'd come online and check it out, but he's a little nervous so... Oh shit! He's here right now. *pathetic whimpering*

011iver: What are you doing?

Tim: Nothing?

Play him out keyboard cat.

Chuck Quartz

The second video also introduces us to a new friend of 011iver and Tim: the girl-next-door, Chuck. Sadly, for some of you guys out there (you know who you are) she's not a brunette. She is a plucky redhead though, so that should count for something. And she's a bit of a geek, so bonus points!

Chuck has her own blog on tumblr at http://chuckq.tumblr.com. Not much there except that her real name is Charlotte Quartz, she lives in Brooklyn, she has a pair of Vulcan ears, and likes cilantro and McDonald's. Hmm, second time McDonald's has been mentioned. Could this be a sequel to The Lost Ring? She does have more posts on her twitter account: @ChuckQuartz. Tim and 011iver are also on Twitter at @TimScribbles and @011iver respectively.

For some reason, I have way too much fun chatting with them on Twitter. Must be a hold out from the Stop TARP game, but I'm always replying to them and they are nice enough to respond back to me.

Inactiveware

In case you forgot from the first video, 011iver is a clothing designer. His company is called Inactiveware which is, as Tim puts it, "t-shirts for lazy guys". The actual website states it a little more elegantly: "Streamlined for lounging, our clothing line is designed to be worn around the house anytime, but is also stylish enough to be worn out and about the town."

Most importantly though, there are two different ways to contact 011iver posted on his website. You can either email him at 011iver@inactiveware.com or call him at 718.753.0635. If you call him, there is a very good chance that he'll actually answer the phone, so be prepared. I had a very lovely conversation with him when I called. I told him that he seemed like a very nice robot and that he shouldn't let his roommate try to change him.

Tim's Flickr

Going back to Tim's website for a moment, you can find his email address: tim@mustloverobots.com if you're the type that likes to email. Personally, I'm not so I haven't sent one off yet to see if there is an auto-responder or not. Maybe I'll email him this week if I work up the desire to.

Tim also has a Flickr stream that has some hilarious shots of 011iver drinking out of a funnel and Tim and Chuck playing drunken Connect Four.

MBILF.Biz

There's a new video up, that starts out a tad bit disturbingly. It seems that 011iver has been contacted by a new website called MBILF.biz that wants to sponsor MustLoveRobots and he's just checking out the videos on their website.
§

Bad porn music Oh god. Oof! Oof!

Tim: OMG! Are you jacking on?

011iver: Nonono, this isn't what it looks like. This website sent me an email. They want to sponsor the blog.

Tim: What? Who is it?

011iver: It's Mbilf.biz.

Tim: Mbilf.biz?

011iver: Yeah, I mean, this is gonna sound weird, but it's Motherboards I'd Like To..

Tim: Fuck! Dude, that's gross. Let me take a closer look.

011iver: I mean, it's not that... Anyway, they're gonna give us a lot of money and I don't think we're in a position to say no.

Tim: I suppose that's true.

011iver: Plus, they're gonna give me a free membership.

Tim: What?

011iver: Nothing.

Tim: See, this is your problem. You're always spending every day wallowing in your shame-ber. Look at you! You're a mess.

011iver: I mean, I suppose I've let myself go a little bit.

Tim: Every time I look at you, I vomit a little bit in my mouth.

011iver: I don't know if that's true.

Tim: It is, all right! And then I have to swallow it because I don't want to hurt your feelings. I'm sorry, buddy.

011iver: I don't know what you want me to say to that.

Tim: It's okay. We just need to work on your marketability, all right? We need to make you a better ladies' man.

011iver: Okay, how?

Tim: For starters, let's get you out of the apartment, loosen up those joints of yours. Umm, yeah, all right! Let's do it!

Montage of athletic endeavors

Tim: That was something else, all right. Showed a lot of hustle, though.

011iver: You really think so? Because I think we can probably go at least...

Tim: No, no. We're okay. We should come up with something else for you to work on.

MBILF.Biz is a semi-NSFW site, just so you know. There's no actual human nudity, but there are robots in compromising positions and I don't think you'd want to play the videos or audio clips in front of your boss.

It is fairly hilarious though. The robot porn clips are so cheesy that you just have to love them. And the pictures of the talented young robot models are beyond words. I especially love the faces the female robot makes.

Then there's Ram Savage. Ram Savage is the robosex advice columnist-bit for MBILF.Biz. You can call him/her/it at 347.2Tin.Rub (347.284.6782) and ask your robosex question and have them answer you online. Even if you don't want to ask a question, it's worth calling in just to listen to the voicemail message. By the way, I deny any involvement in call #3. That is totally not me.
§

Q: Hey, it's Julio again. I've got another query for you. So it gets a little cold in my apartment, like sometimes with metallic objects they get really cold. I have a MacBook Pro and when I turn it on to move it, it's really cold to the touch. And with robots, once I turn them on and get 'em ready for, you know, to have intercourse with. Let me put it this way, are they cold to the skin? Because once I'm in the mood, I don't like to wait around a lot. Because you never know how long you gonna... how long you're in for and that given moment. So if there's like a chance to switch the robot on and then wait for two minutes while it warms up, I'm not sure that I can maintain an erection that entire period. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of guys go through it. So I just want to make sure that if I were to have to switch the robot on and get going right away, just like no foreplay, just get into it, in-and-out fast, easy. That'd be great. So, I'm hoping to know if that'd be possible how long these robots take to warm up once you flip the switch. Thanks. Cheers.

A: Hi Julia. Thanks for the question. You sound like you don't give yourself enough credit because I am sure that you are a pro at macking on your MacBook. Let me tell you that most robot heat sinks are located in their lower quadrant near the coolant release valve. It all depends on the robot how long it takes them to come online. However, they can always load their OS while you get ready.

One more thing, Julia, you um need um to um work on your diction like now you're talking like a um broken machine. Robots like fully functioning systems if you expect to get with one.

Q: Hello, my name is Bill Benson. I have a robot who seems to have run out of batteries. I was wondering if I were to have sex with it, if that would be considered necrophilia. Please let me know because I think that it would be a lot of fun to have sex with a machine. However, I was told that necrophilia is a sin. Thanks. Bye.

A: Listen up, Bill. This site is sounding like that alien from Men in Black. You are a total jerk. Of course having sex with a low-batt bot is wrong. Hello? Non-consensual sex equals rape. Get your head on straight. Pervert.

Q: My name is Air and I have a problem with a friend. He is completely obsessed with dishwashers and I'm worried that he's going to do something strange with them. And I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, he's married. Is it cheating if he cheats on his wife with a robot? I mean, what she should do? What should I do as a friend to help him get over this dishwashing obsession? Please help me. Thank you.

A: Hello, Air. It sounds like your "friend" is more interested in the heat-and-dry cycle than he is in his wife. I am assuming we are talking about an actual friend here and not really referring to yourself. Tell your "friend" that he needs to check himself before he wrecks himself. Ya dig? He needs to wise up and find out what he really wants and not string along his wife if he is into robot soapy suds. Finally, and this goes out to all the wash players, make sure you use jet dry as you do not want to end up with spots.

Q: Hello. My name is GY Bot 52 and I have never considered sex with other household appliances. However I am currently in a long term love affair with the vacuum cleaner. She and I have been making sweet passionate foreplay for the past three weeks and we want to do it. However, we are severely confused as to whether we shall put her in reverse or forward. If you could please help me with this question that would be much appreciated. A pertinent response would be perfect. Good day.

A: Hello, GY Bot 52. This is a classic suck/blow question. I will refrain from my usual vacuum/carpet muncher banter on this one since you already know what a long term relationship with a vacuum is like. I am always one for moving forward in a relationship, so with that said, I believe that sucking is the correct direction for a vacuum. However, if it comes down to it, I think a good blow is okay too. I could use one myself. Sigh.

Q: Hello.

A: Hello.

Q: I call from... from.. from phone.

A: Okay.

Q: I-I-I must sorry. English too language for me.

A: It's all right.

Q: Me no... me no... me no speak very, very well.

A: It's o... it's o... it's okay.

Q: Question for you.

A: Shoot.

Q: Is exist God?

A: That's not really a sex question. I'm probably shouldn't have played this call.

Q: I-I compute this over and over but my matrices do not comprehend.

A: Is this a robot? Are you robodrunk?

Q: I am sad.

You can also request a membership to have unlimited access to their technoporn. The email you get back says there was an issue with the database and says that it is resetting to the default username and password.
§

Congratulations!
You are now a member of the hottest computer themed adult video website on the internet.
Hello <//*error contacting database//*>,
Thanks for signing up, here is your login information:
Username: <//*resetting to default *usrnm* 1:05 {http://tinyurl.com/qkf8yq}///>
Password: <//*psswrd* 1:25 {http://tinyurl.com/qkf8yq}////>
With this username and password, you have access to the raunchiest robot content on the internet,
it will surely get your motor humming. Log on, and get off.

Meet Powerbot 4000

There was a bit of fallout between Tim and 011iver over the Run, Robot, Run video. Tim decided that he was going to show 011iver just how easy it was to be a robot, and renamed himself Powerbot 4000. He even ended up changing his Twitter name (note: it's since been changed back). It seems that most of Powerbot 4000's time was spent was talking in ALL CAPS on Twitter. Not sure what 011iver was doing, although he mentions something about an awkward encounter in a bathroom. I don't think I want to know.

Now here's a game you can really play, while laying around in your shirt all day. Take a phone number for 011iver and add up all the digits. 1 plus 7 plus 1 plus 8 plus 7 plus 5 plus 3 plus 0 plus 6 plus 3 plus 5 and what you get is not free but 46. So then you add the 4 to the 6 and now its 10. Try it again. 1 plus 7 plus 1 plus 8 plus 7 plus 5 plus 3 and then 0 plus 6 plus 3 plus 5.

I don't know what it is about the commercial, but it disturbs me a bit. Maybe it's the fact that Chuck is singing like Isaac Hayes. Or maybe it's just the close up of Tim unzipping his shirt. Either way, I feel a bit like I need a shower or a stiff drink after watching it.

Tobor the 808th Man

I'm not really sure who Tobor the 808th Man is (besides a big fan of Tobor the 8th Man). He did the music for the Inactiveware commercial and has a Myspace page. You can listen to the 1+7+1+8+7+5+3+0+6+3+5 song there. Or at least I think you can. It's not streaming for me at work (not unusual - I was surprised I could even reach Myspace) and I was having issues with the Flash applet at home so I can't be 100% sure that it works. But it says there have been 36 plays so it's probably just me. Tobor also has a Flickr profile but no photos. There's also a rather sparse Tumbler blog under the name of Tobor as well. Is he a robot? Is he a man? Is he both? Hopefully time will tell.

Trading Faces

The whole being a Robot vs being a Human contest between 011iver and Tim has gotten ugly. 011iver has put on a shirt and bad wig and named himself Steve, while Tim has taken off his shirt and spraypainted himself silver. Chuck isn't happy because they make up half of their D&D group and she doesn't want to be stuck going to Glen's house because it smells like Funyuns and squirrel monkey stool.

As an aside, I really hope we get to meet Glen and his squirrel monkey at some point in time.

Luckily, Chuck manages to talk to some sense into Tim and 011iver. I think my favorite part in this video is when Tim closes the refrigerator door. My reaction is totally the same as Chuck's: Oh. My. God. I also love the how 011iver ends the conversation on a total down note. Death is funny!
§

Chuck: Hey everyone. It's Chuck. I'm outside Tim and 011iver's. And it looks like I'm responsible for this weeks video because Tim and 011iver are fighting and not speaking to each other. They kinda make up half our D&D group so we're going to have to fix this, like now. They're so immature.

011iver: Hello, Chuck! How have you been?

Chuck: Uh, why are you dressed like that?

011iver: Dressed like what? I'm just a simple human being without a care in the world.

Chuck: Oh god. This is ridiculous. You guys are best friends and you love each other and I think you need to remember that right now. And, well, we have a game coming up Friday night and, if you guys aren't playing, it's just me and Glen at Glen's house. And I don't want to go to Glen's house because it smells like Funyuns and squirrel monkey stool cuz Glen is on this kick where he's trying to teach the monkey...

...same argument like a million times and I think you both just need to realize that humans and robots both have their challenges.

Tim: Humans definitely have their challenges. Robots, everything is easy for robots. Everything is preprogrammed with them. They don't have any messy emotions to deal with.

Chuck: So you think you now know what it's like to be a robot because you're doing this impersonation with a lame voice and some face paint. Oh my god.

Tim: This is not an impersonation. I feel obliged to point out that the environmental anomalies may have caused certain rebellious instincts common to youth that has affected everyone's judgement except for mine, of course. What did you think of my Brent Spiner impersonation? You know, Data from TNG? I think that one's in from Nemesis with the rings around the planet, and they're doing all that, you know, that robot stuff. But he's not affected by it because he's...

Chuck: A robot, right. I think I know who Brent Spiner is. And that's from Insurrection and not Nemesis.

Tim: Chuck, will you tell 011iver that humans do not sound like black comedians doing impersonations of white people?

Chuck: Tim, 011iver wants me to tell you that his name isn't 011iver, it's Steve.

Tim: Well, you can tell Steve he can go to...

Chuck: Just stop it! This isn't helping! You guys are gonna sort this out. Why don't you both reflect on the experience of walking in each others shoes for a day. Tim, was it really that easy being a robot?

Tim: Yes. I was able to lift really heavy objects.

011iver: Well, I was able to go out in the sun and do nothing all day but feel the warmth on my skin. And I went out in public without anyone giving me a hard time about being different.

Tim: I will admit that I actually did seem to get a lot of stares from people. Even when I was doing things as simple as grabbing something from the store.

*children laughing*

011iver: And, I never did quite figure out how to use the toilet.

Chuck: You see you guys? There are things about being a robot and being a human that were easy, and there were some things about both that were difficult.

011iver: You know, I guess you're right. Tim, will you be my best friend again?

011iver: You know, there is one other thing I didn't like about being human.

Chuck: What?

Tim: What's that?

011iver: Mortality.

A Date with 011iver!

So on Sunday, I got an email saying I had received a message over at RobotFriendFinder.ning.com. It was from 011iver asking me if I wanted to go on a picnic date with him!
§

Hi,

I normally don't do this, but you seem to be really interesting, and I'd really like to take you out for a picnic next weekend, if you are in the NYC area. I don't really date humans per say, but I'll make an exception this time, cause frankly, I need the practice. Tim would, of course, follow us around and film the entire thing, and there's a good chance it'll end up on Must Love Robots, but you'll get a free meal and I think Tim's got some MBILF.biz swag that they gave us when they started sponsoring us that I am sure he's be willing to send your way as a thank you gift. Let me know if you're interested, otherwise, I'll just keep asking around. Thanks.

-011iver

Well, how could I say no to that? I couldn't! So I responded and very soon our date was set for Saturday, May 23 at 2pm in Prospect Park, Brooklyn.
§

It's a date. Let's meet at the arch at Grand Army Plaza (north most point of prospect park) at 2pm on Saturday (that should give you plenty of time to get down here, and get to wherever you're going afterward) We'll just eat some food and junk, Tim will follow us around with a camera, I'm sure he'll want to set up some artsy shots for the blog, but yeah, I'm sure it'll be fun.

I don't know what your travel plans are, but you can take the LIRR train into atlantic avenue pacific street station, then catch the southbound (non-manhattan bound) 2 or 3 train to Grand Army Plaza station. As far as driving goes, my chassis is too heavy and broad for most vehicles, so I don't drive, so I can't really help you there.

You've got my number, feel free to call me if you get lost or need to reschedule. Otherwise, See you Saturday.

-011iver

ps - being a robot, i tend to get a lot of stares when I go out into public places, so don't be weirded out if people point and laugh at us on the date. It ain't easy being primer gray.

I'm pretty excited of meeting 011iver and a tad bit terrified at being filmed by Tim for MLR. But what's a girl to do if she wants to help out a robot in love?

Congratulations!
You are now a member of the hottest computer themed adult video website on the internet.
Hello <//*error contacting database//*>,
Thanks for signing up, here is your login information:
Username: <//*resetting to default *usrnm* 1:05 {http://tinyurl.com/qkf8yq}///>
Password: <//*psswrd* 1:25 {http://tinyurl.com/qkf8yq}////>
With this username and password, you have access to the raunchiest robot content on the internet,
it will surely get your motor humming. Log on, and get off.

I kept trying variations on usrnm/psswrd and 1:05/1:25. For some reason I ended up thinking that the tinyurl took me to the RFF Ning page, so I changed my password there to something temporary to test it on MBILF with no such luck. Tried a few other things that got me nowhere and just decided to forget about it.

Are You Still There?
We have noticed that the login credentials we sent you last week have still not been used in the
system to access your members only account. If you feel you have received these messages in error,
please login to the members section with the credentials below and chose the "deactivate account"
option. Thanks for visiting MBILF.biz
Hello <//*error contacting database//*>,
Thanks for signing up, here is your login information:
Username: <//*resetting to default *usrnm* 1:05 {http://tinyurl.com/qkf8yq}///>
Password: <//*psswrd* 1:25 {http://tinyurl.com/qkf8yq}////>
With this username and password, you have access to the raunchiest robot content on the internet,
it will surely get your motor humming. Log on, and get off.

Obviously I had missed something. It finally dawned on me while making dinner that the 1:05 and 1:25 were times to the RFF video. Of course, it's not that easy because it's a flash-based video so there aren't any time codes you can just jump to. I used my computer clock to time out to 1:05 and 1:25. First I tried using the words spoken at those times (experience/compatible operating systems) but that went nowhere fast. But I had already noticed that the word "operating" switched to "mating" during the video, so I thought maybe it was based on words on the screen. After trying a couple of different versions of the username, I finally discovered the login:

username: carolcoldoilpassword: mating

The Members Only page gives you exclusive video from the behind the scenes filming of "Big Floppy Disks 11". Words cannot describe just how awesome this video is. Johnny 5-inches is totally the star of the show. I am a tad bit concerned, however, that the "I" in his name is lowercase and not uppercase. I would think that "Inches" would indicate a bit more virility. But, I'm not a Robo-porn marketer, so perhaps I am wrong.
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Woman: I suppose I didn't know it was going to be like this. I thought the industry was going to be glamorous or at least sexy. Not like it's bad work or anything.

Interviewer: Right. So how long have you been a robot fucker?

Johnny:*Ding* All right! I'm ready. Let's do this thing.

Behind the Scenes, Making of "Big Floppy Disks 11"

Woman: They said winning BattleBots would take me places.

Presented by MBILF.Biz

Johnny 5-inches

Megan Volts

Johnny: Hahaha! My past is an open book.

Interviewer: Oh, well then, how did you get into the business?

Johnny: Well, I was an auto mechanic down at the Greased Monkey. My speciality was custom rim jobs.

Interviewer: So it really wasn't much of a transition to the Robo-porn business?

Johnny: Yes, that's right. I used to be working with busted nuts on a constant basis. You know what they say: A robot woman is like a fine automobile. Because they're both very similar.

Interviewer: Uhh, simi liar chassis?

Johnny: No. No, not at all.

Interviewer: Transmission fluids? No?

Megan: Sure, I don't mind at all. Go ahead.

Interviewer: Really? Well I mean if you... Ooh! Wow.

Megan: Yeah, they're real. They're real all right. They're made of the highest grade aluminium. NASA makes rockets out of this ****.

Interviewer: Oh yeah, I can tell. How did you first get into robo-porn?

Megan: Oh, I was stripping in Chrome Domes. You know, the place over on the West side?

Interviewer: Yes, yes I'm very familiar.

Megan: And I was in the middle of this routine when this bigwig comes up to me and is like "Hey, how would you like to get nailed by dudes for money?" And I was like "No way!" But then I did it anyway because I'm a rebel. Woo!

Interviewer: Yeah, yes you are.

Megan: Are we gonna **** now?

Chuck:Chuck Ramage (Director) It's difficult working with robots.

Interviewer: Right.

Chuck: They tell you in film school: Do not work with animals, No children, No robots.

Interviewer: Right.

Chuck: And look at me now. This is my life. I am surrounded by robots. I mean...

Megan: Chuck! Chuck! He's doing it again.

Chuck: Ahh, dammit!

Megan: You're supposed to be doing that to me!

Chuck: That's my refrigerator!

Johnny: Oh ****! Oh ****!

Chuck: Oh ****! That's a wrap!

If you are able to tear yourself away from the behind the scenes video, there is a link to an Admin Only section that is protected by yet another username:password. So we're going to have to work on that.

There's also a new RamSavage call! Glad to see others are asking for advice. This time around we have Flowborg from St. Louis calling in asking for help with her hot and heavy laptop.
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Q: Hi Ram! I love your show. My name is Flowborg and I have a question about when you're getting hot and heavy with a laptop and it gets a little bit too hot for your human flesh. I'm wondering what you do in that situation, because it's just too hot! So, what can you do? Let me know and thanks. Bye!

A: Hello, Flowborg. I think we have all been in a situation that gets a little too hot and a little too heavy. But as the old phrase goes, if you can't stand the heat, take the laptop off of your lap. My suggestion is that you tell your partner to cool his jets and shut down a couple progasms. Maybe then he will not overcrank his processor.

011iver Needs Advice

Wow, it seems that 011iver is really nervous about this date. I have no idea why. It's just supposed to be a fun little thing with no pressure since I'm not a robot. Regardless, 011iver is asking for advice over at RFF about what he should do on the date.
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Hey everyone. It's 011iver. I just wanted to come real quick and say that I've got a date this weekend. It's with a girl I met on Robot Friend Finder. Her name is Rowan. She lives here kinda. I don't know where she lives. But, the important part is, she's coming down to meet me on Saturday for a picnic in the park. She's a human, which is sorta weird. Never been on a date with a human before. But she said she would take me out and help give me some practice for when I start to...date...a robot women...or when I get the courage up to ask a robot woman out on a date. Anyway, I don't know if you guys have some tips for me for Saturday. I don't know. Should I get a new tie? I mean, I kinda like this tie. I'll probably just stick with this tie. How about, it's a picnic, so maybe someone could give me some ideas for something I can cook or...something along those... What are you doing?

Can I just take a moment to say how surreal this whole thing is. It's one thing to be talking to characters on Twitter and having them respond back to you. It's another thing to see them making videos about you and asking for advice for when they meet up with you. Or at least it is for me. And I've been playing games and going to live events for a while. But seeing 011iver getting all excited about having a date with me is just bizarre.

Chuck has also posted the 011iver video on her blog to make it easier for people who aren't signed up at RFF to see the video and comment. But you should totally sign up to RFF and start chatting up some robots!

By the way, I'm willing to meet up with people in NYC before/after my date. Just drop me a line somehow and I can see if we can get out schedules to mesh.

Meet Lugnut

Lugnut is the AI hired by Dr. Carol Coldoil to monitor and administrate the RobotFriendFinder site. I guess I also could have emailed him when I was having problems with my MBILF login. Probably would have gotten that sooner.

Being just an AI, Lugnut has been without a body. But a team in Japan worked night and day to develop a prototype body for him. It finally arrived, and Lugnut posted a video of him trying out his new body. You know, in his original post, he said that his body was going to be "anatomically correct" but, speaking as a lady, I'm not seeing all the parts I would want to see on a truly anatomically correct robot, if you know what I mean. In fact, his new body is kind creepy. It's like creepy a robo-baby that's just waiting to stab you with a knife or something.

That's besides the point though, because Lugnut has embedded a secret message in his creepy birth video. At the beginning of the video is a frame that says Tinyurl.com. Then you get a series of fourteen different colored frames that show up interspersed with the video. At the very end of the video, you get a frame with a fourteen digit number: 14353612454221. This number is the key to unlocking the code with the colors.
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The numbers tell you what letter of the color name to take. The first seven colors are in ROYGBIV order, so that allows you to distinguish the indigo and violet colors that show up later

The puzzle solve of http://www.robotfriendfinder.com/iknowtoomuch gives us a simple page that just tells us that "i know too much". There's also a message in binary that says "this is not a marketing campaign" but I could have already told you that for the same reason I can tell you that this is an ARG despite what some people may think.

So what does Lugnut know too much of? Is there something sinister going on with Carol Coldoil and RobotFriendFinder? Maybe he's finding impressionable young robots on RFF and luring them over to MBILF where he can take advantage of them and make them roboporn sex slaves. OMG - that could happen to 011iver! And then Coldoil would blackmail 011iver and gain control of Inactiveware and then 011iver would be trapped in the roboporn business because he has no other way out. And this will all end with us seeing 011iver either huddled in an alleyway, his cardboard box exterior ripped and soggy or else seeing his body gently swaying in the stairwell of his apartment where he killed himself. :(

I think it's obvious that we must destroy Coldoil before he enslaves everyone in roboporn and it becomes too late to save humanity. Either that, or I really need to get more sleep at night.

There's hot dogs in this.

I'm doomed. Tim and 011iver have posted another video responding to the advice that everyone gave him for our date tomorrow. PostLarval had the helpful suggestion that he bring broccoli and whiskey. That would probably be great advice if I liked broccoli and drank anything but hard cider. I tried Scotch while I was in Scotland. I had one small sip which instantly turned my tongue and lips numb. Luckily, chippy was with me and he finished the rest of the drink. So I don't think I'm going to be having any whiskey with 011iver tomorrow unless he's the one actually drinking it.

I don't know if it is because this video is about my upcoming date with 011iver, but I think this is one of the funniest videos yet. Typing out the transcript made me laugh so hard I literally started crying. Or maybe its tears of fear that I might have to eat the cheesy hot dog corn muffins tomorrow.
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Lysithea: G'day 011iver. I'd like to wish you luck in finding a girlfriend. I'd love to meet you if you ever come to Australia. As you can see, my type is Astromech, my build is trash can, and my idea of a perfect date is a sci-fi convention.

Tim: What do you think of Lysithea? Pretty cute, right? Yeah, look at the can on her.

011iver: Uhh, yeah. I mean she's great, but she's in Australia. I mean, look at her. I don't have a chance with a girl like that.

Tim: Oh come on! Cheer up buddy! You have a perfect chance with her. You going on a date this weekend.

011iver: With a human.

Tim: What are you going to do on that date, anyway?

011iver: Well, I made that video the other night asking for tips. Tenchizard, he told me to ditch the tie, get a hat. But this thing's actually welded on here, so...

Tim: Yeah, well you know the hat's a great idea. It will cover your rustceding hairline.

011iver: Rustceding hairline?

Tim: Rust-ceding hairline.

011iver: No, I get it.

Tim: Well, what are you gonna... what about food?

011iver: Well, PostLarval told me to bring a bouquet of broccoli and lots of whiskey. And I already bought the whiskey, so...

Hi, welcome to Tastees With 011iver. Today we're making cornbread muffins. Is that good? Welcome to Tastees With me, 011iver. I'm 011iver. Today we'll be cooking some food because I have a date tomorrow. You're not filming.

Tim: I am filming.

011iver: The light's not on.

Tim: The light's on.

011iver: Here we got flour, corn meal. What's this? Buttermilk? That's butter and milk. Baking powder, yep. Salt and more butter. Thought there was enough in the milk. First we're going to take this flour. Three quarters of a cup of this corn meal. Baking powder. Salt. Buttermilk. There we go. Some butter, delicious butter. Humans love butter. And we have eggs here. Eggs are... oops! This one broke. Try again. And then, you just mix it all up.

Tim: Don't use your hand!

011iver: Luckily, I think it's going to be pretty good. I think it'll be good for you, too. There's a couple more ingredients I just want to add real quick. Hot dogs. And cheese. Bam! Can I say "Bam!" or is that trademarked? Chop up the hot dogs. Throw those right in here. This one's for daddy. What you want to do, I learned this on tv, fold them in. Put into muffin tins like that. All right! Here we go. Let's put them in the oven here. You want to put them in on 400, 20 minutes. Gah! All right. Luckily I have some in here that I prepared before. *Screaming* Don't those look great? Huh? This has been Tastees With 011iver! Here, try one of these, Tim. How is it?

Just so you know, 011iver and Tim aren't the only ones who are nervous about tomorrow. I'm terrified. Don't get me wrong, I'm also excited, but the idea that I'm going to be there basically on my own being filmed walking around with a guy in a cardboard robot outfit is doing nothing for my anxiety. In real life, I'm painfully shy and am more than content to let others handle things when I'm in a group. But there isn't going to be any group for me to hide behind or even discuss META issues with. Don't these PMs know that half of the time during live events we are just giggling/bitching about them as we try to accomplish our tasks? I really don't know how I'm going to get through this. I barely made it through the very serious EE dinner in the cabin without bursting into laughter. I know I'm going to take one look at 011iver and just lose it right there. This is so not going to end well for me. For you guys, though, I'm sure it will be a riot.

The Date

So Saturday was The Big Date. I'll admit I was extremely nervous leading up to it. Even walking the last block to the Arch, I had a moment of panic where I seriously thought about just turning around and going home. But I didn't, and as soon as I met up with 011iver and Tim, all that nervousness went away. Don't know why - either because the whole thing was just so silly or maybe the fact that I've done a live or event or five before - but I found myself being really at ease with them.

Since I already wrote a long in-character post about the entire day, I'm just going basically requote the date part it here since I don't really want to write it up again.

I’m not sure how long Tim and 011iver had been waiting at the arch, but they didn't look too bored. When they noticed me, 011iver quickly grabbed the sign with my name on it and the bouquet of broccoli he had bought for me (thanks PostLarval). We introduced ourselves, and 011iver gave me the broccoli and a Transformers gift bag. I gave 011iver and Tim the gifts I had bought for them, plus the chocolate chip cookies I had made. The three of us then walked over to Prospect Park so that we could find a place to sit.

There were a number of people staring at us as we walked, a couple of giggles and more than a few people going “Look at the robot!” And then there was Tim who would run ahead so that he could film us walking. He said he wished he had a crane to shoot from, but I tried to point out to him that might not be the most practical thing in the world. We found a nice little spot a little off the main path that was shaded by some trees to sit under. Shade is very important, both to a girl with extremely fair skin and robots.

Tim spread out a blanket for us to sit (I say blanket, but I have since found out it was more like a kitchen curtain) and also brought out cider to drink and the cheesy hot dog cornbread muffins to eat. 011iver had sat on them so they were pretty crumbly. Hot dog chunks were everywhere. I politely suggested they try my cookies instead. Tim rated them a 36 (out of 36) and even 011iver liked the little piece he was able to eat. Getting to drink the cider was a bit of an adventure since the bottle required a bottle opener and none of us had one. 011iver managed to pop the seal with a key, but at this point the cider had been shaken up a little too much and started foaming out. This was a slight problem since Tim had also forgotten to bring napkins and cider is pretty damn sticky. 011iver rated the stickiness at about a 34.

While I was pouring the cider to drink, Tim and 011iver opened their presents: a Luke Skywalker Lego Star Wars pen for Tim and a tie clip for 011iver. My gift was a MBILF mug and some Tonka fruit flavored snacks since they couldn't find any gummi bears. 011iver and I toasted (a couple of times because of course Tim had to make sure he got it filmed) and then poor 011iver dropped his cup. Luckily it did not end up on me. It did make that part of the blanket even sticker though.

As we were talking, we kept having people come up to us and ask to take pictures of 011iver. They seemed to be quite surprised that we were having a date, but I didn't mind them interrupting us since it would show 011iver that lots of people like robots. There were even 2 cute girls that wanted their picture taking with 011iver - and said that they would go out on a date with him as well. I told 011iver it was obvious that all he needed was a female wingman to go out with him. He said that Tim was a bit of a female, but I just don't think Tim would look all the good in a dress. We need to get Chuck to take 011iver out - he’d totally get a date then.

Tim had brought along the Connect Four game, so 011iver and I played a round. I actually could have won, but my sleep & food deprived / cider drinking brain completely missed it until after I had dropped my piece in. 011iver ended up winning, which is probably a good thing because I think he would have been rather upset if he lost. As it was, he took a victory lap around the blanket (although, I will admit that I did suggest it).

It was right after the end of the Connect Four game when The Hick Asshole showed up. At first I thought he was drunk, but then it dawned on me that it was just his Southern accent. He was asking what we were doing, and got very upset when he found out we were on a date. He started spouting some crap that humans and robots shouldn't interact with each other. Tim stepped in and took the guy off to the side, but 011iver and I could still hear the guy arguing. It ended with THA yelling that he didn't want to see us around there again, and that he was going to be coming back with his friends to make sure. [And in case you are confused, yes, this whole incident was part of the live event. I had already known about GodHatesRobots.org, so I wasn't that surprised to see someone like him show up. Just suprised that he came so early - I had only been there about 30 minutes.]

This spooked Tim and 011iver, who said they have dealt with guys like that before. They were sure that THA would be back with his friends and that it wasn't worth it to get into a fight. After seeing the Run, Robot, Run video, I do know why neither one would want to get into a physical confrontation. So that was the end of our date. :( I am very sad because I was having fun. I didn't even mind that Tim was being all filmmakery and stuff.

So Tim and 011iver packed up and went home. I decided that I would try to catch the 4:30pm bus back to Binghamton since no one else (like strifey or Siege) decided to visit me while I was in NYC. Bastards - I even brought them presents. But no, they just suck.

Tim posted several pictures of 011iver taken before the date on his Flickr and even uploaded one of the Lego pen that I had given him. The video of the date showed up late on Monday evening, and we all watched it together on the Netcast. I especially liked the bits showing 011iver before the date, and the fact that Tim left in his dancing.
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011iver: Henry? My name's 011iver. How are you?

Girls: Up here! Hi!

Tim: Hi.

011iver: Hi. My name's 011iver. What's your name?

Little Girl: Eleanor.

011iver: Eleanor? Our names are sorta close.

Tim: So how do I...just hit the go button?

011iver: You want to be in this photo? She doesn't care. She's a teenage girl, she doesn't care about anything.

Tim: There you go.

Girls: Thanks!

Tim: Yeah. Have a good Saturday. So you're looking pretty sharp.

011iver: Shut up.

Tim: Kinda nervous, huh?

011iver: No.

011iver: Grab the moon. Grab the moon and bring it into your heart. And then expel the toxins. Slower! It's tai chi, not fucking marathon.

Tim: I think I know what I'm doing here.

Me: This is for you.

011iver: Oh great, thank you.

Me: This is for you.

Tim: Oh, thank you. Can we open them now?

Me: If you want. And I brought cookies for you.

Tim: Oh, well we have....let's go... let's go over to the park.

011iver: Tim brought this. Cider.

Me: Oh, cider's good.

Tim: He sat on those.

Me: It's okay.

Tim: They weren't very good to begin with so they might actually be better now.

011iver: Arrgh! It's dripping.

Tim: Oh! Oh sweet!

011iver: What is it?

Tim: Lego Star Wars pen.

011iver: Oh, that's pretty great.

Tim: Thank you.

011iver: Is it Jack Porkins?

Tim: That's awesome. What's that?

011iver: Is it Jack Porkins?

Tim: No, I don't know. It could be Jack Porkins.

Porkins: I'm right with you Red Three.

011iver: That's the only one I know.

Tim: I don't know. He is part of the Rebel Alliance. It says Luke Skywalker on the pen so I'm pretty sure that means it's Luke Skywalker. Thank you so much.

Me: You're welcome.

011iver: I don't know what I did with mine. Maybe it's in my pocket.

Me: What kind of guys don't have a bottle opener on their keychains? That's what I want to know.

Tim: The guys that drink beers that are screwtop. Alright, I'm gonna zoom in so I can get your expression.

011iver: Oh great. Should I run a certain program. I got a tie clip.

Tim: It definitely matches your chrome exterior. Yes, I'll have a little bit. I don't want to intrude or anything. I mean, this is your date.

Me: Because the filming isn't intruding at all.

Tim: What's intrusive about this?

011iver: Cheers.

Me: Cheers.

011iver: Oops, I'm sorry.

Me: It's okay. It didn't land on me.

Tim: 011iver! God. Yeah!

011iver: How is it?

Tim: It's really good.

011iver: How good? Quantify it.

Tim: 36 good.

011iver: What's the scale?

Me: Out of what?

Tim: 36.

011iver: Mmm, that's not bad. That's a good cookie.

Tim: Pretty good.

011iver: I think it's gonna leave a grease sport.

Guys: Do you mind if I take a photo?

011iver: I'm on a date!

Guys: Of the both of you? Is that all right?

011iver: Yeah, I'm on a date.

Guys: Oh, you are?

011iver: I don't interrupt your date.

Guys: Oh shit, are you on a date, really?

011iver: Yeah.

Guys: Oh, then I'm sorry. Well, it's the three of you guys. I just wanted a photo. Do you guys wanna go out on a date? He's trying to find a date.

Girls: I kinda want to take a picture of him.

Guys: Here's a website. MustLoveRobots.com

011iver: Do you wanna go on a date?

Girls: Yeah, the both of us.

011iver: I shouldn't ask. I'm on a date right now.

Girls: Can we double date? Can we take a picture?

Me: Yeah, you can take a picture with him. It's okay. You guys, here, take a picture.

Girls: Are you sure? I don't want to interrupt the date.

Guys: Wait, I need that card back to ask him out. I don't want to ask him out in front of her since they're already on a date. Well, good luck guys. I hope it works out.

011iver: I'm sorry, I've spilled some sparkling cider.

Girls: It's fine. Thank you. How do you kiss a computer? How does that work?

Tim: You're gonna make him blush.

Girls: Insert disc here?

011iver: Tim's kinda like a female wingman.

Tim: Yeah.

Me: Well, kinda.

Tim: I still think he needs to get a dog. I think dogs... dogs are the way to pick up girls.

Me: Yeah, dogs would work.

011iver: Do you know how sticky sparkling cider is? On a scale from 1 to 36?

Me: Pretty damn sticky.

011iver: About a 34.

Me: Very nice.

011iver: It's a mug.

Tim: Yeah.

011iver: And we tried to find... someone online suggested we find fruit snacks, but we couldn't find any so we got Tonka Trucks.

Tim: Yeah, those are fruit bits! Tonka Truck fruit bits.

Me: Thank you.

011iver: Fruit bits.

Me: Thanks.

011iver: I'm not very good at this.

Tim: Sometimes I connect three.

Me: How does that work out for you?

Tim: Eh. You just have to be polite about it and not rub it in anyone's face, 011iver.

011iver: Woo!

Tim: Come on buddy, that's not cool.

Me: Would you like to take a victory lap?

Tim: He's gonna pull a Jose Conseco right here.

011iver: I want to say that I love you, Mom. And I love you, God.

Tim: I've got these slick moves I've been working on.

011iver: You like how Tim starts a blog and then and I invite you on a date and he ends up having you film him.

Tim: Cuz it's 011iver's date.

011iver: You look like an asshole. You're embarrassing me.

Tim: Let's see your moves. What do you have?

011iver: What are you looking for?

Tim: Nothing.

Roboist: What's going on here?

Me: We're on a date.

011iver: Hey, we're on a date.

Tim: It's a robot date. This is my robot friend. We're trying to get him a date here. I've got a card here. We've have a... we have a blog.

Roboist: Why are you dating a robot?

Me: Cuz he's my friend.

Roboist: He's a robot. This isn't natural, what's going on with you two. Look at him. Made of metal.

011iver: It's just a fun date, guy.

Me: What's your problem?

Roboist: I don't have a problem, here. I don't understand what his problem is trying to date a human being.

011iver: Tim...

Tim: Hey, okay, okay. I'm sorry. Here...

Me: We're just... we're friends.

Roboist: You're on a date, aren't you? This isn't right.

Tim: Come on.

Roboist: Hey! what's your name, son?

Tim: Let's just go over here. There's no need to cause any ruckus or anything. What's your problem? We're just trying to have a good time. It's just like a Sunday, you know, Saturday out here. We're just...

Roboist: I don't... what's your name, son?

Tim: I'm Tim, I'm Tim.

Roboist: Tim. Let me tell you something, Tim. What's going on over there isn't right. I don't understand what's going on in your head that makes you think that it's all right to be a part of this.

Tim: It's a public park! Come on buddy! It's a public place. We can do whatever we want.

Roboist: Exactly! That is exactly my point! In a public place it's disgusting.

Tim: Come on buddy, just leave us alone. All right? Just leave us alone.

Roboist: Listen, if I see you around here again, I'm gonna be back. And with all of my friends with me next time.

Tim: Asshole.

011iver: What's that?

Tim: That's a little awkward.

011iver: What do you think?

Tim: Well, he says he's gonna come back with his friends.

Me: He probably means his brother, who's also his sister, who's also his father.

Tim: Probably so.

011iver: Should we go?

Tim: Yeah, we should probably just go.

Me: Goodbye. Don't let that guy get you down, he's an ass.

Mug Code

The mug that I got from 011iver was actually given to him and Tim by their website sponsor, MBILF. They had told me before the date that they would be giving me something from MBILF that had some code on it that they didn't understand, so I wasn't offended that I was basically regifted.
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The binary seems to decode into another set of login instructions, possibly for the Admin Only section of MBILF.

username: 6:45
password: take these when you get <username>

The only problem is that none of the videos on MBILF are 6 minutes and 45 seconds long. The longest video we have is the Date video from Tim and 011iver, but that's not going to work as it was filmed after the mug was made. So it's gotta be something else. Either another video that we haven't found, or another way to read 6:45.

God Hates Robots

There has been an issue with the whitelist for my work webfilter, and most of the MLR sites are coming up as being uncategorized despite the fact that they have been categorized (and visible) for over a week now. I'm hoping it will be back to normal tomorrow. In the meantime, it means that if I want to watch any of the videos, I have to go directly to the Must Love Robots YouTube channel to view them.
As I was looking through the videos, I noticed that there was a related video that kept popping up. It was God Hates Robot Dogs by God Hates Robots. The video starts off with this cute little robot dog just minding its own business, when someone STOMPS ON IT! What the hell? How could you do that too such a cute little dog? It then ends with the text "Mankind shalt not lie with Robotkind: it is abomination. Hear the Gospel: PastorLudd@godhatesrobots.org"

So it's off to GodHatesRobots.org. Not entirely sure how I can access this website at work, but there is it. There's a couple items in the newsfeed that seem to be stretching the definition of "robot" a bit, but maybe Pastor Ludd (let me pause a moment while I giggle at that name) hates all technology (*snicker*). There may or may not have been a link to MBILF on the website when I first found it that has since been taken down. But it's fairly obvious that the guy who broke up my date on Saturday was part of this congregation.

Pastor Ludd has posted his first sermon to God Hates Robots. I think he took speaking lessons from William Shatner. Because he has that way. Of talking. Where he pauses. Constantly. Before finishing. His thoughts. He's also a bit of a nutter. But then I think that idea is a given.
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Devotional Indiana Community Service Church. Was my vision. In 2008. It was my vision, it was a gift, from God to me. The ability to be able to look around and see the boiling pot of water that we are all in. Was a gift. And a burden. It is a gift and a burden that I must.

What is so apparent to me now. When I look around. Is frustrating me. It seems so obvious once you have that small kernel of information of insight. It's like a key that opens up your whole mind. And when you look around and you see your fax machine and you see your microwave and you see your, you see anything that is plugged into the electronic grid, which they are pushing data on, and you can put The Google on that and you can find that out. There are people talking about putting data down the electric lines on the electric grid. And it can come in from anywhere now.

So what was perhaps a simple device. A simple device that had one function. Say a microwave. Which is. The rotating device in there which I've disabled. On my microwave. I turn it myself. I go 30 seconds, I turn it halfway in, I go 30 seconds, I turn it the other way. I don't know why you can't do that yourself. Because, anything could be reprogrammed now through the electrical lines. And that's what people don't understand.

There are also pictures available showing the church members protesting robots and electronic stores. If the graininess of the blown-up pictures bother you, you can see them better on his Flickr page. You can even print out PDFs of the protest signs. The Robo Sin one is kinda cute. I wonder how hard it would be to modify the image so that it promoted Robo Love instead of protested it.

I have to say, the robots in the pictures don't look all that well. They are all skinny and rusty. I'm sorta afraid that the church members have been holding these robots hostage and torturing and starving them to make them pay for the "sin" of being a robot. If they can stomp a poor innocent robodog to death, these people are capable of doing anything! I suppose I should be lucky that they didn't stomp 011iver to death in front of me. I really hope I don't come home one day and find a box with his (or any other robot's) head in it.

New Inactiveware Shirts

There are two new Inactiveware shirt designs! Must Love Robots (which features Tim and 011iver sitting on a couch) and 011iver (just like from the postcards). I'm totally going to be buying tshirts in the next few weeks now. You should too - as all of the proceeds from the tshirt sales are going to One Laptop Per Child, so you're helping out a good cause.

You can also help out by designing a new shirt for Inactiveware. Tim tweeted that 011iver is thinking about having a design contest. Nothing official has been announced, but I don't think that should stop you from coming up with a tshirt design you could submit. Maybe you could even win a free tshirt (or cheesy hot dog cornbread muffins).