“If I’d known I was going to live so long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” James Blake

You are the only person you can absolutely count on to be with you your whole life long. Given that truth, it’s important to take care of yourself. Here are some ways to do that:

1) Intend it. Intention is powerful and will set a course for a new destination.

2) Brainstorm 10 small things you can do right away to up your self-care. Things like having a salad for lunch today. Small things are powerful, don’t underestimate them.

3) Grow micro greens. YouTube has tons of videos on how to do this, but it’s so easy. All you need is a tray, soil and some raw hulled or unhulled sunflower seeds. Soak the seeds overnight, then cover them with soil and water. In about 7 days, you’ll have a tray of luscious tasty greens that are 50 times more alive and nutritious than anything you’ll find at the grocery store.

4) Buddy Up. I’m always ranting about this one, but it’s SO powerful. Make a deal with a buddy, to walk, do yoga, meditate. It works to have someone else to do these things with.

5) Be choiceful about media. It doesn’t nourish.

6) Make health appointments in advance. Every time you leave the dentist, chiropractor, or other health professional, make your next appointment, even it’s months away and you don’t know if you can make it. It’s good to just have the appointment. You can change it if you need to.

10) Get support. The combined aspects of accountability and encouragement is what makes coaching so effective for creating change. Try it and see for yourself. Or, if you’d like to get some more ideas about your own self-care or more support for taking better care of youself, please call me for a Complimentary Coaching Session.

We all have flaws and imperfections. Yet, we are often intent on covering them up. Doing this is so self-eradicating. And exhausting.

What about just letting yourself be, flaws and all? Not in a weak, “I’m so messed up” kind of way, but in a strong, compassionate, “This is me─beautiful as is” kind of way. Loving yourself, accepting yourself as good enough, as you are, right now.

So, here’s the challenge:

For the next 2 weeks, stop trying to cover up your flaws. No defending, arguing or hiding them. Just let them be there. Admit to them in a compassionate, self-curious way.

The first thing you’ll discover is how powerful this feels. The second thing you’ll notice is how the lack of resistance creates a flow for new things to happen. I‘ll give you a personal example.

Many years ago, a friend accused me of being jealous. She was developing a friendship with another person and I felt jealous. At first, I denied what I was feelings, then I simply fessed up. Yes, I WAS jealous. I remember the internal freedom that came from that admission. Once I had crossed this threshold, the conversation with this friend became real and caring and after that, we were able to be much more considerate of each other. The friendship became stronger than ever.

So, whatever flaw you’re trying to cover up, see if you can just let it be there. If you feel vulnerable, let that vulnerability be there too. The Course in Miracles says that vulnerability is our greatest strength. I agree. It’s a strength because it’s real. And being real is powerful.

And once you’re real, then you’ve entered the arena of self-growth. For our flaws are our biggest teachers. They are there to help us evolve. Let them do their work.

“If you let go a little you will have a little peace; if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; if you let go completely you will have complete peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

The Cost of Holding On:

Most of the time, we’re so connected to holding on that we forget the energetic price tag of doing that. Here’s a way to bring that lesson home. Tightly clench both hands. Even after 20 seconds, you’ll notice how tiring it is to do this. It doesn’t really matter what we’re holding on to, a relationship, a job, or a material possession─ it all takes energy.

And as the clenched hand exercise illustrates so well, you can’t reach out or grasp anything new when your hands are in fists!

Why We Don’t Let Go:

There are many, many reasons why we don’t let go. Sometimes it means facing our grief or other challenging emotions. For example, we might not want to let go of a relationship because then we’d have to face our fear of being lonely. Or we might not want to let go of job because we’d feel worried about money.

It’s really helpful to identify these emotions. Here’s a sentence completion exercise that will help you identify what emotion is holding you back. Finish this sentence with the first thing that comes to mind.

“If I let go of (fill in your situation) I’d have to face my _________________.

Once you’ve identified the emotion that’s holding things up, practice letting that emotion go all by itself. Just for now. As in the above illustration, the person who’s worried about facing their loneliness could practice saying, “I let go of my worry about feeling lonely. For now.”

I use the phrase ‘for now’ because we can only work with ourselves in the present tense.

It helps to remind yourself that all things change. All things. Winter isn’t a failure because spring is here. Change is the natural rhythm of things. In my experience, more damage is done by holding on to things too long than by letting go of something too early.

A Behaviour Modification Technique:

Here is a technique you will find helpful. Write a phrase or few sentences about something you’d like to let go of. Eg: “This situation at work” or “My feelings about D.” Now, scrunch up that paper and burn it or throw it away or rip it into pieces. There’s something powerful about putting things into action like this that helps.

Letting Go in Stages:

Another thing that will help you let go is to do it in stages. Start with a little, then work up to something larger. Like any muscle, letting go is a skill that gets easier with practice. I find this particularly helpful with thoughts and emotions that I need to release. I’ll just ask myself to let go for an hour. Or an afternoon. Or a day….. It feels much easier to do.

Beyond Letting Go:

It also helps to focus on what might live on the other side of Letting Go: a new, more responsive relationship, a better job, a more spacious house. Even if there’s no sign of it right now, keep use the energy of the vision to pull you forward.

And remember, I’m always here to give you ideas and support if you need it.

My guess is that you’ve got several talents. Right? One or two might be latent or underdeveloped, but nonetheless, one might be sitting like a seed in the dark fecund soil of your soul, waiting for you to water it.

I think for us to be fully happy we need to develop all our talents.

New Book!

For me, although most of you know me as a coach, I’m also a writer. In the last few weeks, I’ve been engrossed in doing the final edits for a young adult fiction book that’s being published by Dundurn Press this November. (My fifth book!)

What an incredible amount of work it’s been! (That’s why I’ve been remiss at writing newsletters, but more will come now.)

Meanwhile, here’s a delightful video that speaks to the beauty of complexity and commitment! Enjoy!

PS: If YOU want to talk about how to develop a passion/talent you have sitting inside you, give me a call & we’ll chat about it.

Energy is EVERYTHING!

Energy is what we build our lives with. It’s what attracts people and situations to us. When our energy is zinging with positivity and aliveness, we feel as if we can do anything. And we probably can.

When we feel ‘down’ (negative) and low in energy, even the smallest tasks feel like too much. Furthermore, because the world tends to mirror us, negative energy has a way of pulling in other negative energy, taking us down further into the mire.

Taking Charge of Your Energy!

Taking charge of our energy is probably THE most vital thing you can do for your self-creation. Unfortunately, most of the time, we feel like pinball machines, reacting to what happens around us with our energy responding accordingly. But there are new techniques and understanding of brain function now that can show you HOW to modulate your energy AT WILL!

I’ve described these tools and techniques in a new course I’ve just created called, ‘Change Your Energy, Change Your Life’. It’s a 40-day online course that includes a daily bit of coaching or ‘lesson’ (5-10 minutes long) and an audio or video with a specific technique to help you change your energy right away. Some of the lessons are pithy, some funny, all are inspiring. They represent the BEST of all I’ve learned in my 30 years of coaching!

Change Your Energy, Change Your Life!

I’m gifting the first week for F*R*E*E so you try it and see if it’s for you. If you don’t opt-in at the end of the fist week, nothing more will come to you. If you do opt-in the price is $29 for the full 40 day course.

Check it out HERE. Learn to create the energy YOU want. I’ll show you how.