dimanche 16 novembre 2014

Animals that don't Exist

The Coiling Smoke

The coiling smoke,
Escherichia coiling, is a
little-known prokaryot that is found mainly in tobacco leaves. Due to
its particular requirements regarding habitat, it has never been
successfully cultivated as of yet, and the study of its life-cycle
remains an arduous tasks.

Although
the exact functioning of its metabolism are as of yet unknown, the
coiling smoke has at least one impact on human society that can no
longer be scientifically disputed: it makes cigarette smoke coil.

The
study of cigarette smoke, and its physical properties, has been the
subject of few studies, if we disregard those focused on its impact
on health issue. Indeed, the physical aspects that make
cigarette-smoke behave the way it does are very underrepresented in
scientific literature, the most likely cause of which is that nobody
really cares.

But,
as history has taught us time and time again, the most interesting
subjects are often those nobody cares about. It is with this spirit
that Ai Shteru, of the Tokyo Institute for Who Knows? Maybe Someday
Somebody Will Care (TIWK?MSSWC), has undertaken his study of
cigarette-smoke.

After
a number of tests on the exacts physical properties of
cigarette-smoke, Dr. Shteru has found that, in the absence of E.
coiling, cigarette smoke does
not coil, whether it be the smoke released from the cigarette itself,
or the one blown from the mouth of the smoker.

Whether
this discovery will have any impact on the human understanding of
physics remains yet to be seen. But before we ridicule this research
as another abuse of scientific funding, let us not forget: Science is
the pursuit of knowledge. Whether or not this knowledge will help
humanity is the domain of politics. But until we know, we won't known
whether knowing is worth it or not.