Another Friday, another meaty topic to get our blogging teeth into. Today we discuss a topic that we covered as Official Blogger for The North West Wedding Fair’s magazine this spring and one that many brides-to-be struggle to make a call on – whether or not to involve your bridesmaids in the decision making process when choosing their outfits for the big day.

rachel says: let them choose!

One of a bride-to-be’s top priorities is naturally going to be to look and feel the very best she can for her moment in the limelight. However not too far behind should be the same thought for your bridesmaids, for they too are playing a key role in the proceedings and will not thank you for putting them in unflattering designs and uncomplimentary colours.

Too many cooks can spoil the broth – agreed, but going ahead and choosing the bridesmaids dresses without consulting or involving them is undoubtedly going to lead to some miserable maids come the big day.

You don’t necessarily need to take all your leading ladies on the first shopping trip, but having a discussion with them beforehand will help no end. This gives an opportunity to talk about what colours and designs are on the short list and for a bridesmaid to raise her concerns if she truly feels a certain suggestion would not suit due to her complexion, hair colour or figure.

It’s also an opportunity to discuss the price range, particularly if you are just putting a contribution towards the dresses, or are asking the maids to fully foot the bill for their attire.

The respect has to come from both sides to result in a winning wedding party that looks and feels great on the inside and out. So I say get the gals on board for a shopping trip that you can all enjoy while being honest and fair in your suggestions and choices.

Picture the scene – you’ve found the perfect gown for your maids, it’s in the right price range, it’s the right colour and would fit into the theme beautifully. But come shopping day when your friends see it they each find something they don’t like about it, and worse still they each find a totally different dress that they prefer. Bride meltdown alert.

While in theory it’s a nice idea, including all the bridesmaids in the dress decision making is likely to lead to endless and highly-stressful discussions, shopping trips and tiffs.

To keep the peace I suggest that you build up a mood board of bridesmaid dress ideas that would work well with your big day styling and then run them past a few choice people, such as your mum, the groom and your maid of honour, to get honest feedback before making the final call.

While selecting the shortlist you should also consider your maids’ colouring and figures to try to ensure they will be fairly happy with the outcome. If the maids are buying their own dresses it’s also important not to ask too much of them by looking at designs that carry a high price tag. You might consider intentionally mismatched gowns that work along a particular style or colour theme so they stand more chance of pleasing all parties while still working to your overall vision.

But when all said and done it’s your big day and the ultimate decision should be down to you.

Kerry: “Minefield! I chose them for my special girls and with a slight apprehension handed them out… but they were all well received and my girls are happy…at least to my face!”

Keli: “I’ve given mine a colour scheme but let them choose their own! All of them are completely different in personality and body shape so really wanted them to just have something they’re happy with.”

Emma: “I’m paying so I’m deciding!”

Sarah: “My friend (the bride) set up a Pinterest group of possible options for us all to share. Her budget was really tight and last minute. Three of 4=four bridesmaids met up with her and went shopping together, luckily we found one we all liked and that suited us all, it was over her budget so we all paid the difference each. I’d rather pay towards something we all liked than be uncomfortable.”

Rachel: “With six bridesmaids aged 40 to 13 who are all shapes and sizes I ‘ve chosen their dresses. That said I showed them all a picture before they were ordered and they like them.”

I’d say 80 per cent of my wardrobe is black, something I’m often told off about but it’s a classic, right? Slimming, timeless and flattering against pretty much every skin tone and hair colour. This is why in my eyes it’s a great choice for bridesmaids.

The dark, elegant colour palette provides sophistication and class, and is unlikely to rock the boat with any of your maids.

Initially the trend was mostly isolated to New Year weddings with brides and grooms going for a polished black tie theme. But now the little (or long) black dress has become more acceptable for ceremonies in seasons beyond the winter.

5531 by Jim Hjelm

Those opting for the dateless hue can keep things clean and simple with black or nude accessories, add a little sparkle with glittering metallics or opt for a contrasting colour to achieve a vibrant pop. Black maids’ dresses won’t district from or determine your choice of blooms either, giving you and your florist free range.

Looking at what’s available, designers have clearly noted the rise in popularity with most offering a fair few black creations within their collections. The simple hue is available in designs incorporating other top bridesmaid trends such as lace, illusion necklines and detailed backs.

2940 by Dessy

For those wanting a full lace number Dessy has two stunning options in contrasting lengths; the 2911 strapless knee-length and the floor-length 2940 with illusion neckline, which can be picked to suit the season and maids’ preferences on whether they would rather flaunt or cover their pins.

5476 by Jim Hjelm

Meanwhile for those that desire just a little lace detailing Jim Hjelm and Monique Lhuillier have some truly striking options that are bound to result in very merry maids. Hjelm’s 5420 and 5524 offer mini length dresses with lace appliqués and panels while the elegant full length 5476 and 5531 feature just flirty touches of the regal material.

Lhuillier’s black short taffeta dress (top) with lace bodice is a real show stopper and a LBD that I would love to own myself.

2925 by Dessy

If any brides are planning to have black maids’ dresses for a New Year 2016 wedding, then all out glamour is the way to go. Full length designs that would hit the right level of opulence include Hjelm’s 5428 with high-leg split and Dessy’s elegant 2921 and 2925. For those wanting to bring the hemline off the ground, it has to be Lhuillier’s mid-length strapless taffeta dress – pure perfection!

You know we’re not adverse to a bit of high street browsing here at Brides Up North HQ in our quest to uncover the prettiest bridesmaid offerings and bridal accoutrements out there – in boutiques, online and by pounding the pavement. It’s a hard job… yaddah yaddah yaddah.

This afternoon, step forward Monsoon, with their tonal selection of pretty gowns in a wash of muted red, white and blue. Given our recent weather, Monsoon may not be the best named retailer on the block, but in terms of bridal party offerings, it’s as good as a day on the beach.

Researching for our regular Friday Fabulous feature is no great hardship – I love scouring the interwebs for the prettiest new things. It sometimes hurts my credit card, but other than that, the pleasure is all mine. Chancing upon something really rather lovely from Coast for this afternoon’s coveted spot (wait and see), I decided to stick around and browse the rest of this High Street Honey’s new Spring collection.

As I said at the end of last year, in 2014 I’ll be checking out all the most popular High Street retailers (and lesser known online finds too) and picking our favourite looks for, so that you don’t have to. No gorgeous gowns get past me! Whether it’s bridesmaids dresses you need, a frock for your reception dinner or heading off on honeymoon, we’ll have it covered.

Let me tell you ladies, if you are in the market for bridesmaid dresses this season, I think we’ve just found heaven. Usually strong on this front, those fabulous people at Coast HQ have just raised the bar that little bit higher.

The lines come in sizes 6 to 18, are pretty affordable and with a new petites range just added, this wedding blogger is seriously impressed. Here’s my top picks for maids and mates. Gather your girls, but hands off Riley, she’s all mine!

Over the festive period I’ll be recapping some of my very favourite Real Weddings from the last 12 months on the wedding blog. It’s been a tough choice! In true Brides Up North style, each wedding featured on these pages is unique, beautiful and gorgeously personal. It’s been an exceptionally fabulous year! Enjoy…

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Starting off our seasonal recap in style, today I am honoured to share the Real Wedding of one of my best girlfriends in the whole wide World, Rachel. I was lucky enough to be a bridesmaid for Rachel and Ryan, and was more than a little nervous that one of my favourite photographers and Brides Up North Featured Supplier Katy Melling Photography would be there to see me descend into drunken Christmas wedding merriment at what has to be one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever attended (you’ll see!*).

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After all, elegance aside, this was also the wedding where I could be found singing shouting Christmas carols at 4am, where my husband set fire to himself on an aisle candle (yes really!) and where a faux snow fight left everyone twinkling! Proper Geordie fun! I did catch Katy snapping a shot of me taking a big slug of white wine, but it hasn’t made it into the final edit. Thanks Katy!

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Without further ado, over to my best friend Rachel: We got engaged on 10th December 2010 in Central Park in New York and were married at home in County Durham on Sunday 18th December 2011, at Rockliffe Hall. We said our vows in the Rockliffe Suite and then had a drinks reception in the Old Hall while the Rockliffe Suite was done up for the wedding breakfast.

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As soon as we visited Rockliffe we loved it. On the practical side we had a large guest list and it was able to cater for 180. It also had 60 bedrooms so all of the guests who wanted to stay were able to be accommodated.

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It seemed a bit more luxurious than some of the other venues we visited and was decorated to our taste. It is about 45 minutes away from Newcastle so was fairly easy for our guests to get to. It is just a lovely hotel and felt cosy and we thought it would suit the wintery/ Christmassy feel we were after. It has a lovely area called the Old Hall which we used for the drinks reception and also has a fabulous spa which our guests got good use of the day before and the day after the wedding.

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Obviously the wedding was very near Christmas so overall we had a bit of a Winter Wonderland theme.

We also had some Christmas touches like snow on the tables and bauble name holders (by Cox & Cox) and candy canes as favours for people to hang on their Christmas trees after the wedding.

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Overall, I wanted the wedding to be very white. We had no colour in our flowers and I wanted the room to look white, snowy, twinkly and pretty. The bridesmaids wore an aubergine colour which was reflected in the ushers’ ties but other than that the rest of the wedding was all white.

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My dress was Jenny Packham. It was very detailed and glitzy around the neckline which went down my back and then it had a tulle skirt. I also had a Jenny Packham headdress. I tried on a Jenny Packham dress in a shop in Newcastle but then went to her shop in London as it was a good excuse for a weekend away with my Mum. There were a few that I liked but the one I chose was most appropriate for a Christmas wedding.

I carried a hand tied bouquet of paper white flowers with brooches inside the bouquet to give it some extra sparkle. This was by Hart Company.

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We had a lot of music and entertainment during our reception: my good friend Emma Kendall sang during the service, and then we enjoyed the Opus 4 String Quartet, carol singers and some singing waiters, before hitting the dance floor to Jeff Dingle and the Moonswing Trio.

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Thinking about favourite moments, my mum and dad had organised the singing waiters as a surprise for Ryan and me. I loved this and we were all up dancing on our chairs for an hour so that was really fun. In general I just loved it all as I wanted it to be a massive party and that’s what it was. I also loved the girly time on the morning of the wedding with the bridesmaids and all my family.

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We had a simple cake made by Gemma at Love Lily Cakes. It was all white and had a flower appliqué on it. We had 3 tiers which consisted of Victoria sponge cake, chocolate cake and lemon cake.

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After the excitement of the wedding we had a mini moon for a few days to the Feversham Arms in Helmsley and we are hoping to go to New York at the end of the year. We live in Dubai so we wanted to stay in the North East to enjoy the rest of the festive season with our friends and families.

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My top tip for other Brides Up North would be just to enjoy it and try and take it in. It is such a fun day but it goes so quickly. We got married 6 weeks ago and it already feels like it was so long ago.

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Congratulations Rach & Ry!

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*I cannot guarantee that no tears were shed during the editing of this blog post.