A stinky ‘ol ghost from Holland

I thought that calling my book ‘Why Did You Try to Fuck Somebody You Hate? And Other Mean-Spirited Tales, told by a Sword-Chinned Bitch’ was Monty Pythonesque! But apparently, some people feel like they’re being attacked when they look at the title. “Ohhh, the world’s harsh as it is, why would I want to read that? Wah, wah!” This is what pussies say. The caption says, “For those unafraid to look,” and everybodyknows pussies are afraid to look. Other people think that the title is crass and vulgar. My word!

So I changed the gd title. Well, actually only on my Goodreads ad and on my blog site. The Amazon site will take 48 hours to change over to the ‘family friendly’ title, so you can wait until then to look if you’re too a-scared. The stories aren’t really mean-spirited any way – skeevy, alcohol-drenched, and a bit macabre perhaps. Just imagine Charles Bukowski as a black woman – no, no — Edgar Allan Poe as a black woman – no wait — Fyodor Doestoevsky as a black woman… okay, this is probably why people think it’s weird. Oh, oh — and there’s cake in it, and an implied ménage trois, and cigarettes, and a stinky ‘ol ghost from Holland! One of the stories, “Night Terrors” has been published in Calliope! So take that up your crass and vulgar!

My book represents the highest caliber of literature – oh yes indeed it does. I mention myself in the same vein as Bukowski. But how do I classify my book really? I don’t. To do so would be confining it to a box. My shit can’t be labeled. And at the same time I say that it’s ‘literature’ generally, which classifies it in a sense but I’m not ridiculous about the whole thing, after all, we do need some words that we agree upon to represent something so that we can communicate — sillies!

I’ll tell you what other people said about my book later, but in the meantime, if you haven’t already done so, please click the book link on the sidebar to look at the lovely review of WDYTTFSYHAOMSTTBASCB, then go to the bank, take out .99, and buy a copy on Kindle. I’m planning on getting hard copies at some point as well, so don’t fret non-Kindle users. My sister suggests also that you send the .99 directly to me and I’ll forward you the Microsoft Word file by email! No, please don’t do that.

I liked the original title, didn’t scare me, if I’d had a kindle your book would be in it. Ha ha “The Book I Wrote” 🙂 … book titles are as difficult as artwork titles. If I ever write a book I’m gonna call it “Untitled” seems to work on artworks, people don’t get upset.

I would’ve kept the original title and added at the bottom ‘Forward by B.J. Smegma and that other gal who queefed outta nowhere that one time and ruined the fucking mood from laughing so you couldn’t even finish. Yeah, her.”

Teeheehee! It was my brother’s ‘pet’ name for me when we had a fight when we were kids! I used to be real skinny with a sharp chin. He got mad at me and yelled “You sword chin bitch!” I told a couple of friends years later and they almost died from laughing. I thought it was a great moniker and since it got this reaction from people, I wanted to use it, also as a nod to my brother. My brother and I btw have a great relationship! So, that’s the origin of me pirate name — arrghh! I’m glad you say you’d get the book if you’d had a Kindle — I appreciate that.

“By the by.” Ahahahahahaa!! “The teehees!” Ahahahahahahaa!! Thanks for laughing my number one fan! Oh this is good news — I’ll investigate further and let everybody know — what are you doing up so late — hell, what am I doing up so late — I’ve got to go to work!

Nah, family friendly aint gonna make you rich or famous! If you must re-title It, go with something controversial and timely, like Obamas Mistress Speaks Out. All the teabagger birthers will buy it and Fox News will give you a show! Then do a July sequel Romneys Mistress Speaks Out to mop up more dough from the lefties…and move your show over to msnbc! You’ll be a billionaire by Halloween. Worlds gonna end in December anyway, so nothing to lose, right?