‘My fiancée treats me like one of her students – Now I’m having trouble reaching orgasm during sex.’

Corey’s fiancée is a kindergarten teacher, and he says she tends to treat him like one of her students. She thinks their love life is great, but Corey is having trouble reaching orgasm during sex, and is finding he’s only able to achieve this during self-stimulation. He wants to know what can be done to bring that spark back to their relationship, and their bedroom.My advice:

Corey, you’re not enjoying sex because you don’t feel empowered at all during the experience. Your girlfriend is treating you like a child in the bedroom, and most men I know don’t react to well to this.

To make matters worse, you’re also masturbating three to five times a day, and this self-stimulation is making it even more difficult to achieve orgasm when you’re with your fiancée. When you get too comfortable masturbating, you can have more difficulty becoming aroused by your partner. This is called retarded ejaculation. It is very dangerous for a relationship because you’ve trained your body to only become aroused when you’re touching yourself.

So, let’s get real here. None of this is a very good sign for your upcoming marriage. You’ve got to man up and be honest with yourself. If you’re serious about this relationship, then you and your fiancée need to talk about what needs to change to make things work between you two. I recommend creating a list of the five things you love about her, and the five things you’d like her to change.

This list should include how it makes you feel when she treats you like a kindergarten student, and as embarrassing as this may sound, you’re going to have to tell her about the masturbation too. Right now you have so-called “lethal secrets.” These are bad in any situation, but are especially dangerous when you’re starting a new life with someone. Be open and honest now about what’s bothering you in this relationship, and hopefully you’ll be able to set a tone of openness and trust for the future.

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