How to Elegantly Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift

January 2, 2018

Last updated on November 28th, 2018 at 01:57 pm

So, you’re getting married soon and want to ask for money as a wedding gift. No, it’s not tacky … lots of people are doing it. You just need to be graceful and elegant with how you ask your guests for cash.

Generations ago (and even still today) young couples were moving in together for the first time after getting married. They needed things like fluffy new bath towels, soft bedding and shiny kitchenware to help set up their households.

Times have changed. Nowadays it’s not uncommon for couples to have lived together for years before walking down the aisle. So you might already have all the stuff you could want or need for your home.

That leaves you with two options. Go with a traditional registry and get all new stuff. Or, ask for money as a wedding gift. The trick is to not ask for money, per se, but to register for experiences that are tied to your fund (that’s the professional advice from Brides.com).

If you do opt to start a newlywed fund, it’s important to still have a small traditional registry. Some of your guests may prefer to give you a gift they can wrap (plus, you can always use some new frying pans or other household gizmos).

When it comes to your fund, there are creative, polite and etiquette friendly ways to ask for money. Be sure to let your guests know what you’re saving for. Perhaps it’s for the honeymoon of a lifetime, a down payment on a house or some other special item. Offering even more specifics can help your guests feel like they’re contributing to your experience.

If you’re starting a honeymoon fund, you could let your guests know that it’s for a trip to Paris. Tell them about how you’ve dreamed of going to France ever since you did an eighth grade presentation on French folk (tell them you actually wore a beret and had a baguette tucked under your arm). Tell them about what you’ll do on your vacation … perhaps a wine-tasting at the Palace of Versailles and a riverboat dinner down the Seine.

Pro tip: clue your immediate family in early about your plans to set up a cash registry. Here’s why … many of your guests will ask your parents or your in-laws where you’re registered. This is the perfect opportunity to set the expectation for your guests. Make sure you give your parents and in-laws talking points about what you want to do with the money … make the story as personal as possible.

How do you go about setting up a cash registry? Here are a few websites that can help you out:

The Newlywed Fund brought to you by The Knot, appears right alongside your traditional registry with The Knot, so guests can see what’s been purchased and what’s still available. With larger ticket items, it allows multiple guests to contribute to the total.

Zola is a hybrid registry service that works as a traditional registry site as well as cash funds. They do not charge a convenience fee other than the unavoidable credit card processing fee.

SimpleRegistry is also a hybrid registry service that allows you to register for anything, tangible or non-tangible and also allows group-gifting for the pricier items. They take it a step further giving guests the option to suggest cool items which you can then accept or ignore.

Honeyfund.com is a free online money wedding registry. It’s a simple web page where your guests can select a gift (part of your trip), print a certificate and bring it to the wedding along with cash or a check.

The key thing to remember is that your wedding guests will be contributing to exciting milestones that you really want or need. Many of them will prefer this to getting you that oh-so practical bread machine, which you will totally use for all those times you have a hankering for pumpernickel.

If a wedding is in your short-term future, here’s something to keep on the back burners: your insurance policies. Here are a few ways marriage can change your auto insurance circumstances.

3 thoughts on “How to Elegantly Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift”

I am not a fan of wedding’s!! I feel the couple is simply asking for money and judging their guests based on the “gift” that is given. If you want a wedding, I feel it is unfair to expect your guests to give a particular amount of cash as a gift!!

I agree with Stacey about being judged on how much you spend on a wedding. My guidelines are. < $50 if it's someone I work with, an acquaintance, a friend's child , etc. $50 or more for siblings, nieces and nephews, best friend,etc. The myth is that you are paying for your dinner. I refuse to go with that myth. I give what I can afford no more no less. And I am judged on that alone, tough!