Talk One On One With Student

Talk One On One With Student

Why should I do it:

Students are more likely to listen to your input when it’s done away from others

It gives cool down time for both you and the student before discussing an issue

It provides the student a chance to state his thoughts and feelings

Removes an audience for the student to show off to

Has a weight or air of seriousness that can be more impacting on a student

Students take it more seriously

Stresses the importance of what you are saying

Indicates to the student the seriousness of the problem, behavior, or situation

Allows for privacy

Enables many students to open up more and disclose thoughts, concerns, or worries they might not disclose while in the class and in front of others

When should I do it:

When a behavior has caused disruption to the class or the student’s day

When a student is upset

When you need to address a student’s personal problem with them

When a student is very shy and needs to be spoken to about a behavior or issue

When you have addressed a student in class several times about a behavior or other issue

How do I do it:

This technique takes a lot of patience, support, self-control and self-talk

Remain cool, calm, collected, and use a neutral tone when students are oppositional, defiant, aggressive, agitated, etc

When a student is emotionally upset, hurt, etc, use an empathetic tone and body language

Keep responses brief, succinct, and to the point

Avoid lecturing or going on and on

Try re-direction if student is able to be de-escalated

Remove student from situation and make an appointment time to talk about the issue

Remove the student from the room immediately and go into the hall with them

Tell the student to stand in the hall and wait for you, then go talk to the student in the hall a few seconds later or after finishing what you were doing

Use reflective listening “I am hearing that you feel this assignment is unnecessary” “I hear you telling me that he took your toy away”

Ask open ended questions

Use body language that represents openness: If you are sitting, keep legs uncrossed and lean toward the person; If you are standing, keep arms uncrossed and legs open—people often mirror their emotional response with others’ body language

Use humor

Validate student’s feelings:

Aggression: “I know that you got mad after that”

Sadness: “ I can see you are sad about this”

Anxiety: “When you tap your feet, I’m guessing you are worried about the test”

Confrontation: “I need to talk to you about your calling your friend a name”

Teach alternatives:

“Tell me some things you could have done differently” “The next time, you get mad, try walking away and taking a break”

“When you get worried about your tests, try to think of all the tests you’ve taken and done great on”

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