Mean Girls Monologue

Mean Girls by Tina Fey

Character:

Cady

Gender:

Female

Age (range):

18 - 55

Style:

Comedy/Drama

Length:

2 minutes

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Cady: Huh, wow, thanks, um, well, half the people in this room
are mad at me and the other half only like me because they think I pushed
someone in front of a bus, so that's not good. To all the people whose
feelings got hurt by the burn book, I'm really sorry. You know I've never
been to one of these things before and when I think about how many people
wanted this, and how many people cried over it and stuff, I mean, I think
everybody looks great tonight. Look at Jessica Lopez, that dress is amazing
and Emma Gerber that hair do must have taken hours and you look really
pretty. So why is everybody stressing over this thing? I mean it'sjust
plastic, it's really just . A piece for Gretchen Wieners, a partial Spring
Fling Queen. A piece for Janis Ian and a piece for Regina George, she
fractured her spine and she still looks like a rockstar, and some for
everybody else.