Top 10 bloody Marys in the Twin Cities

Hippocrates, that same genial fellow who gave us the doctors' oath to first do no harm, was one of the first in recorded history to set forth the idea that "like cures like." This in time evolved into such things as a literal belief that if you are bit by a dog, some hair from its tail applied to the wound will fix you right up, which in turn evolved into a belief that if you've made yourself ill from drinking alcohol, the most sensible thing to do is drink more alcohol. And this is how Hippocrates invented the bloody Mary. If he were alive today, and happened to be hung over in the Twin Cities, here's where he might go in search of a cure.

1. Burger Jones

Ordering a breakfast cocktail after a long night says to Sunday, "I give up." Not gonna get out for a ski. Not gonna tinker with the broken lawnmower. Not gonna crank out a chapter in that novel. It's over--hangover FTW. Luckily, Burger Jones makes giving up look, taste, and feel like a really good decision. Not only is the portion of velvety and slightly kicky tomato elixir generous enough to knock out even the most formidable headache (thanks to a little Absolut Citron), but it's served with enough garnishes to set any weird food cravings to rest. Pickles, sausages, olives, cheese curds--it's a meal in itself. The whole package comes served in a down-homey mason jar.
3200 W. Lake St., Minneapolis. 612.746.0800
Website

2. Ike's Food and Cocktails

Some may be spicier, some may be stronger, but no bloody in the Twin Cities can top the Weekender Bloody Mary for sheer scale and ambition. Available only from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays during Ike's all-you-can-eat family-style brunch, the Weekender fits in perfectly with the morning meal's spirit of excess and indulgence. Adorned with no fewer than 10 garnishes, the Weekender is a veritable platter of amuse-bouches to prep your palate for the feast to come. Taking up two skewers, the garnishes include a green olive, black olive, beef stick, shrimp, cubed cheddar, pickled green bean, celery, lime, pickle, and peperoncini. The drink itself is pleasantly spiced without being overwhelming and is served with a generously salted rim. It's also available at Ike's location in the Mpls-St. Paul airport.
50 S. Sixth St., Minneapolis. 612.746.4537 MSP Airport, The Mall, across from checkpoint 1. 612.355.4642 Website

3. The Bryant-Lake Bowl

With four variations on the bloody Mary on its menu, the Bryant-Lake Bowl is determined to help you fight that hangover, or get you started working on tomorrow's. Our favorite is Amanda's Rock n' Roller, made with lots of garlic and mild green Tabasco (also available at sister restaurant the Red Stag Supper Club), but maybe the Bloody Caesar made with Clamato or the Bloody Beer (PBR and tomato juice) is more your style. Of course, there's also the classic bloody Mary for traditionalists. Whichever way you go, enjoy your BM with the BLB Veggie Hash, and polish your balls in preparation for the inevitable post-brunch bowling match. Those calories aren't going to burn themselves.
810 W. Lake St., Minneapolis. 612.825.3737Website
4. Hell's Kitchen

While most bars serve up their bloody Marys with a beer back, Hell's Kitchen cuts out the middle man and concocts its signature bloody with Summit EPA mixed right in. Reviews vary between those who love it and those who prefer to keep their beer separate as a chaser, but the unique approach earns Hell's Kitchen a spot on our list of BMs that have set themselves apart from the red-hued masses. And with a notoriously killer breakfast menu available every day, this is one place you don't have to wait for the weekend to get your morning bloody on.
80 S. Ninth St., Minneapolis. 612.332.4700 website

5. Moto-i

This sleek, dark, Lyn-Lake watering hole, modeled after an izakaya, or gastropub, has deep, cozy booths and Japanese soap operas playing on the TVs. Blake Richardson, owner of the Herkimer, applied his beer-making experience to rice wine, serving up several varieties of premium, unpasteurized, draft sake. Sake finds its way into several of Moto-i's cocktails, including its bloody Mary, where it stands in for the usual vodka. Add some Whiskey Willy's bloody Mary mix and some spicy Thai chilies and you've got yourself one kicking cocktail. Better yet, the drink is yours for only $1 a pop on Sundays.
2940 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis. 612.821.6262website

6. The Triple Rock Social Club

The Triple Rock Social Club doesn't mess around. It has no patience for your delicate sensibilities. The punk music is always blaring, the staff is extravagantly tattooed and pierced, the portions would daunt the burliest of truckers, and the bloody Mary ... let's just say you better not have any plans for the rest of the day. When a little hair of the dog isn't going to cut it, head to the Triple Rock, where they'll serve you up a whole damn pit bull. Other bloodies may utilize more artful spices or generous garnishes, but none can match the Triple Rock's when it comes to punch. Belly up to the bar on a Sunday morning and watch the bartender empty bottle after bottle of vodka into a steady stream of BMs, and know that you've found your church.
629 Cedar Ave., Minneapolis. 612.333.7399; Website

7. The St. Paul Grill

The bloody Mary mixed at the St. Paul Grill is like every aspect of the storied downtown restaurant: elegant, simple, and first-rate. You won't get any celery sticks the size of small trees sticking out of your glass. Nor will you find your eyes watering because the bartender believes that Tabasco and pepper are more important than vodka. The key to the St. Paul Grill's bloody Mary supremacy is its homemade mix. The recipe was first concocted at the St. Paul Embassy Suites in 1986 and later traveled across town with the bartenders who painstakingly perfected it. Nothing revolutionary here: tomato juice, horseradish, garlic, sea salt, Worcestershire sauce, cracked pepper. The house pour is Smirnoff, and it's topped with a wedge of lime, a plump pimento olive, and a crisp dill pickle spear.
350 Market St., St. Paul. 651.224.7455Website

8. Saffron Restaurant & Lounge

Saffron is home to chef Sameh Wadi, who marries ingredients from the Middle East with haute-cuisine techniques he used while working at La Belle Vie. Saffron's Harrisa bloody Mary blends Harissa chili paste, Turkish green olive juice, and organic vegetables and spices to exotic perfection in a glass. At Saffron, the Harissa mix is made fresh weekly, taking up to 12 hours to perfect two quarts of the mix. The restaurant isn't open for breakfast, but the Harissa bloody Marys are available for just $5 each during early and late happy hours, Monday through Friday 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. and 11 p.m. to 1 a.m. , or $8 during regular evening dining hours.
123 N. Third St., Minneapolis. 612.746.5533Website

9. King & I Thai

King & I is the neighborhood Thai joint for the hipsters and power brokers of downtown Minneapolis and Loring Park. It offers what they call the Bloody Hot Mary, and indeed it is bloody hot-- made with roasted garlic, Thai chili sauce, and delicious mystery spices, the bloody-hotness is nicely balanced by cool garnishes: crisp cucumber, spicy basil and ginger, and a rosy-red tomato. This twist on the traditional hangover cure is spicy, savory, interesting, and freakin' delicious--the perfect complement to an order of spring rolls or a robust curry.
1346 Lasalle Ave., Minneapolis. 612.332.6928Website

10. Moscow on the Hill

The Liberman family's immigration from Moscow to Minnesota nearly 20 years back is a yarn bottled with history ... and horseradish. The Libermans own Moscow on the Hill in St. Paul, and within its inviting confines drinkers can enjoy nearly 300 vodkas from around the globe. Among them is Referent, a horseradish-infused vodka that was initially crafted for in-house consumption and is now also bottled for sale. Referent vodka makes the perfect base for Moscow on the Hill's spicy, zingy bloody Mary (dubbed the bloody Russian on their menu), which is served with pickles and olives and comes with the standard beer chaser. Pick up a bottle of Referent while you're there so you can make your own bloody Russian at home.
371 Selby Ave., St. Paul. 651.291.1236Website