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- --E4*-*- *i- ~1V O L ________ jI___ 3 .VOHI. WEDNESDAY MORNING, AUGUST 15, 1866. N.3.THE HERALDIS PUBLISHEDEVERY WEDNESDAY MOPNING,At Newberry C. II.,By THOS. F. & R. H. GRENEKER,TERMS, $8 PER ANNUM. IN CURRENCY,OR PROVISIONS.Payment required invariably in advance.Advertisements inserted at S1 per square, fbrfirst insertion, and 75 cts. each subseNent insertio'. Marriage notices, Funeral invitatious,Obituaries, and Communications of a personal-character are charged as advertisements.Boston Betsey's Brick, or Brick's Betsey.J found her in Boston. Betsey Jerurha Jones--in three volumes illustrated.I thirsted for intellect. I hungered forbeauty. I ached, for charms. I required a gentle being with a mind likehorse billiard.to guide me through thistale of steers. I went to Boston to findmy love. I found her.-She was a schoolteacher who drew seven dollars a monthfor spanking the rule of three into thevulgar fractions confided to her charge,and for adding agcomplishment as 'twereto the result of others multiplication iFiguratively speaking. After school wasdisbanded for the day, we walked out tothe beach. Birch by day and beach bynight.Mv love was beautiful. She was ofthe New England type. She was pureitanical. Thus wor:hipped I her, themost beautifulest ant in the s ugar bowl.And she made both ends meet by skinning eels. She was a most exalted andtriumphgn t eel skinnist. The Massachusetts gerls teach school and skin eels fortmarket. Said I, "Betsev, if its not askin too much, let me go out with theeand aid in thy toils, and see thee divesteel of cuticle.' She said vea. I went.She had a hooked nose. She had threehoops--at regular intervals. She was aMassachusetts school-tnarm. She understood all of"DholI but the multiplication.She had never been on the multiply ! Ohno! And she could skin eels faster thanthe devil could catch fiddlers.By the beach we sat. She skinnedeels for the net proceeds. W. talked oflove and sich. She listened to my tale.She felt the moving of my plea; theburning eloquence thereof, so called.Sa,d I,'Oh, 3etsey, seein' its yeou, I loveyeou I sweow. I wouldst be thine. Iwould share thy cot, andId dream I skep with thee, love,Wouldst be mine ? I am a stranger.B3etsey. I am not -?ged, but on the contrary am agile as those eel. I will offerthee all I have. I would be thus to theeI would crawl out of myself as those eelcrawls out of his undershirt in thy hands,and be thy onlyest.She took up another eel.'Oh Betsy'-Said I, as I laid par1ly onthe grass, partly in the lap of Betsey,with the slickery tails of her eels tickling~my nose-' were you ever careseted bymortal.' She sai~d no, and looked sidewise.She took another e!.I then caressed her. Said she, 'Praisethe Lord, but that is .the first kiss evermortal man gave me.' I asked if sheliked it? She said it war better norspanking a young-un or skinni,n a big eel.She said she liked school teaching. Itwas better than a gymnasium. She saidkissing was better than skinning eels.When a Massachusetts girl says that,you may with the lambs on the hills,gamble that she liketh it with vehementIL)i'ch ness.The pale moon slid along ove. thehead just as easy ! It seemed to bkln itself from under the fleecy clonds, as thosecels skinned themselves from the fingersof my Betsey Jerusha. It sat mec tothini-ing she was something heavenly,like the moon.-Only sI was a littleplumper. It was a new moon. Newerthan Betser, and a little slimnaer. I con-versed with betsey. She had a littleknife like a shoe knife. I would havethought her a shoemaker if she had carried a cobler's kitten and a waxed end.But she didn't She skinned eels, chawedspruce gumi and talked love. Said she'WVhat is your name?''Asked we, the reverberating cognomen to which we respond?'Said she, 'yes.'Said we, 'Brick' Pomeroy.'home. She wanted to know what StateIllinois was in, and if Wisconsin was inthe First or Second wird of La Crosse.And she wanted to know if we hadyoung ones ins the west. We told hernot many yet! Then~ she wanted toknow if the Mlississippi had eels in it.We told her nay. And she wanted toknow if the peo~ple out in that barbarousregion w~ore clothes every day or onlywhen they went sparking. And shewanted to know how far it was fromwhere we lived to a house. And shewanted to know if they spanked or ferruled youngsters in schools, and if wehad schools. And she wanted to kriowif women dressed in bearskins or tiltinghooprs, which we suppose are all the samne!papers, and could read and write and hadever heard of Anna l)ickinson. And shewanted to know if it was not terribleliving so far from Boston !Then we caressed her and kisse I herso sweetly. And she twined the eelskins in a garland and wreathed themabout our neck as she sqt there in maidenmeditation fancy free, like a box of No.11 boots. Then we said"Oh, Betsey Jerusha, thou has spokenest with wisdom. I will converse withthee, elastic nymph. I am a barbarian.We are all barbarians in the west. I aman ignorant but well meaning whelp.We are all ditto in the west. I wearbear skins in the west -we all ditto inthat country. We have no houses, butlive intently without them as 'twere.We have no carriages for either male orfemale so called. But I can love thee. Ican hold thee to mine own, I will surround thee with all the luxuries we havein that land of darkness for the sun neverrises in the west!" Said Betsey, as sheplayfully slung the hide off from anotherconquered eel, 'Due tell !'I wanted information, and thus we dialogued.'My Betsey Jerusha, has much Ofparents :''Yes Briekuel, I have two parents andfour ante-palrents.''What didst they do?'Ani ma taught school and skinned eels,and my father was an eel catcher and asilver-tong ned politician.''How many boys cans't thou spank ina day ?''I have spanked twenty-seven in anhour and it wan't a good hour for spanking cither.''_And eels ! Iow many eels cans't thoupeel in a day. Tell me thou e4ucatoi- ofthe world?''Well now, that is a pretty right smartof a question ! I guess I kin skin :.ix aminute. I skin 'em and slhng 'em overmy shoulder into that are tub, and kinkeep one in, the air all the time, like acow's tail in fy time, and I aint much ofa skinist nuther !''Does it bnirt the eels!''Why of course it kills the eels ! Butthat is his fault. If he'd had his skinput on tother side out 'twouldn't hurt'em any. 'Tcvould have slid off itself!lt< our doctrine in New England to havethings c'onfoi-med to our notions, even ifthe eels we skin don't like it. You see 4this is the hub-and, the cels have norights we the skinners are bound to respect!' and in:o the air s~he play fullyt ossed another y rrd of subdued, quivering agony !Says we'D~o you sIin 'em for fun or for profit!'Betser said it was for both. Therewas money in it, and(it was fun to seethem squirm, for they had no businiesst: he eels, and to come to New Englandin the spring and fail for what theywanted. And thus Betsey taught me tolove. Gentle christiamized Betsey !And I kissed h-'r. And I hugged herthere then. And I told her she shouldbe happy. And that she should haveeels to skin forever. That i'd have onemade on p)urpose! Then she smiled andsaid she'd be mine, so-called, if I'd agreeto find her in eels; to find young onesfor her to spank ; to let her come once aear to hear thue bi.g organ and rock herbaby in thle cradle of liberty ; to let herkiss every nigger she saw ; to let herspend half her time in peddling tractsand making dlannel shirts for babies inIAfrica, aind w-ouldl do my best to extendthe blessed gospel and the likeness ofBen Butler in the benightened region bevond theC hub.I consented of all she wanted of mec except the nigger.. On that I was firrum.So was Betser. She said "nigger orsingle blessedness.' She said they' wercher pets. I told her I was a democrat.Oh gracious! She straightened up tillher corsets snapped like ai pistol! Ithought,. she had ge ne off! But shehadn't. She was there yet. S:id she,as she scrunc-hed an eel in her hand andwaved her peeling machine over her head:'You a Demn'rat ! Marry a Democrat?Go way! Git emut! Don't tech me!Oh you great, nasty western man! Takeyour arms away from around my intellectual breast. Oh ! you great, ugly,western he man ! I'd skin you like anecl! Oh, Git eout! Rise your hoarylocks from that crc lap. I'll take myeels and fly from your advances. Marrya democrat ? I'm no such n' oman ! Oh!you great big, red-whiskered, grev headed, savage, unrefined, uncultivated, uneddicated, big, nasty, he man ! LHowdare von talk to me. I'd die first, andthen I wouldn't !' And she done as Joseph did in the night and went off intoEgypt, leaving me in a bed of eel skins.And now I'm a gone nutmeg, a bustedwhat do you-call-it. i've lost my B3etseyJerusha, and must live in the west bey ondthe eels and school marm charms of her Iso adoried, for us of the west are not ofthe eel-ite. Thine, unskinnied,'BmrcK PoMtERoY.A man found dead on a London doorstep had ?1l,000 in his pocket.Cause of Retort from the ladies.The odious man of the Courier seemsto relish nothing better than a "crusadeagainst tilting hoops," which cause, heasserts, has been strangely mistaken.Commenting on a feminine plea for theirgrace and utility, he remarks: "It is notbecause ladies show their legs, for it ishabitually done by the women of manynations, and is not necessarily indelicate.But the tilting hoop makes a pretense ofcovering the kgs, as though one lhouldsay, 'I am showing you what I oughtnot to.' If the ladies will wear shortdresses, instead of long ones looped upand held out, sensible men will find nofault. We are glad to learn Eastern ladies wear pantalets; .our ladies mightvery properly adopt the habit." Now,ladies, isn't this a pretty tyrade againstus? And, as our sex prevents us fromtaking tangible satisfaction by giving hima pummeling, let us seize and hold himby every available button hole, and pourinto his ears such a volley of anathemasas he never before heard, and give himthe benefit of that "organ" of speechwhich has been proclaimed we possess toan unlimited degree; let us give oneunanimous shout of indignation; confuse,deafen, madden him with the meliifluouscpithets, "brute," "monster," "fiendincarnate !" How dare you insinuatethat the ladies of this city wear no pantalets ? How could you, sir, thus boldlyaccuse us of such an unheard of indelicac% ? Shameful, ridiculous; 'tis a monstrous libel, an infamous- misrenresentation, an unpardonable non-appreviationof our be-ruffled, be-fluted under-gear.It is false and base, and we won't bear ittamely-that we won't ; and, if you don'ttake it back, you will not soon again havcthe pleasure of acktion ledLing a beautiful boquet from a lady friend. We prefer to Send our flowers whence con>e ourcompliments. Your style of returningcompliments don't seem to prevail amorngintelligent people.We advise you the next windy day, torub up your specs, sit down fair andsquare at the window of your sanctum,(where you are sure to be seen on windvday s,) and do not pretend to "ignore thcfact" of the exi7tence ofsomne of the fines1handiwork in the way of "frills and edgirgs," Any one but an obdurate, captious editor, of your species, would pronounce them faultless; and then, sensibhmen never find fault with a well-dresseclady at all, and do not consider a subjeclto call ffrth ugly criticisms. We wilnot wear short dresses until it is decreetbyefashion or custom to do so. Youw~ou1ld be the first to open a battery ocensure on our appx .rance in the strcetsin that sty'le, and "bloomer costume' iunot genera.lly in favor. We will persis1in nwearing our' dress long in the draw ingroom, for its gracefulness, and looped ujin the street, for its neatness and . contenience, which latter style we think :great improvement on all the "sweepingthe-street system" which prevailed formerly, and created ridicule- and rebulato an alarming extent. And as for th:"tilters," they are quete indispensableand we will have our skirts held out bythem for all the "likes o' you."If it shocks your sense of propriety t<see our "pretty gaiters" andl "lisle threnchose," don't look higher so pertinaciouslv, to let our optics deceive you and acc~ise us so (utrageously. Pull dowryour blue1 shades and be sure you don'I<eep out when high winds prevail. W<did not dIress our pedal extremities witiimmnaculate hove arnd- high-heeled bootsfor your (lull eyes to squint at, nor foithe crowd of loafers who stare us out ocountenance and "out of gait" at th<street corners. We dress to loo0k neatlye'nd feel comfortably, with a regard teprevailing modes, as every lady shouldWe dress to please, and feel sure we receive the just appreciation of all wellbred gentlemen, who make us feel our cfforts are not 'flahor' lost." We hav<heard enough about bonnets, "waterfalls"' and "'tilting hoops," and we thinl<it high time to put it down ; and MrEditor of the Courler' will yet live t(learn, as many have before, that an attempt to reform dress is futile, and w<would recommend silence to you wheragain you think of occupying the questionaIThe position of inspecting and recording what ladies "don't. wear undettheir cri nolinte," or you will hear agaifrom "an enraged redressor of wrongs.'A rosy sun-set presages good wveathera rud]dy sun-rise bad weather. A b)righyellow sky in th~e eveningindicates winda pale yellow, wet. A neutral grey coloat evening is a favorable sign ; in th<morning, an unfavorable one. The cloudsif soft, undetined and feathery, betokerfine weather ; but if hard, sharp and definite, foul weather. Deep, unusual huein tihe sky- indicate wind or storm ; mordelicate tints bespeak fair weather.In Fredonia, N. Y., the Health Boardin order to stir the people to action w ittregard to c!eaninog up, have posted thifoliowinz notice: "The cholera is comnm~ Re m'rdby of the commnittoe."THE COUNSEL OF WoMI.--Dr. Board- Iman, in his admirable work, "Hints onDomestic Happiness," inculcates this doctrire, which we cordially endorse:"In a conversation I once held with aneminent minister of our church he madethis fine observation : "We will say nothing of the manner in which that sexusually conduct an argument; but theintuitive judgment of woman is oftenmore to be relied upon than the conclusions which we reach by an elaborateprocess of reasoning." No man that hasan intelligent wife, or who is accustomedto the society of educated women, willdispute this."Tin-es without number you musthave known them decide questions on theinstant, and with unerring accuracy,which you had been poring over forhours, perhaps, with no other result thanto find yourself getting deeper and deeperinto the tangled maze of doubts and difficulties. It were hardly generous t, allege that they achieve these feats less byreasoning than by a sort of sagacitywhich approximates to the sure instinctof the animal races; and yet there seemsto be some ground for the remark of awitty French writer, that, when a manhas toiled step by step up a flight ofstairs, he will be sure to find a womanat the tcp; but she will not be able totell how she got there."How she got there, however, is oflittle momedt. If the conclusions a woman has reached are sound, that is allthat concerns us. And that they arevery apt to be sound on the practicalmatters of domestic and secular life, nothing but prejudice or self-conceit canprevent us from acknowledging."The inference, therefore. is unavoidable, that the man who thinks it beneathhis oignity to take counsel with an .intelligent wife stands in his own light, andbetrays that lack of judgment which hetacitly aitributes to her."_Luther, when studying, always hadhis dog lying at his feet--a dog he hadbrought from Wartburg, and of % hichhe was .ery fond. An ivory crucifixstood on the table -before him, and thewalls of his study were struck roundwith c,.ricatures of the Pope. lie worked at his desk for days together withoutgoing out ; but when fatigued, and theideas began to stagger in his brain, hewould take his flute or guitar with himinto the porch, and.there execute musical fantasy, (for he was a skillful mu:iclan,) when ides would flow upon himas fresh as flowers after a summer nain.Music was his invariable solace at suchtimes. Indeed, Luther (lid not hesitateto say that, after. theology, music wasthe first of arts. 'Musie,' said he, is theart of the prophets; it is the only artwhich, like theology, can calm the agitation of the soul and put the devil toflight." Next to music, if not before it,Luther loved children and flowers. Thatgreat, gnarled mnan had a heart as tenderas a woman's.THE SECREr.--"1 noticed," said Franklin, "a mechanie, among a number ofothers at work on a house erecting, buta little way from n;y office, who alwaysappeared to be in a merry humor, whohad a kind word and a cheerful smilefor every one lie met. Let the day beever so cold, gloomy or sunless, a hapysmile dan ced like a sunbeam on hischeerful countenance. lleeting hom onemorning I,asked him to tell me the secret of his constant and happy flow o!Spirits.""No secret, doct"r," he replied. "Ihave got one of the best wives, and whenI go to work she always has a kind wordof encouragement for me. and when I gohome she eets me with a smile and, aIkiss ; and then the tea is sure to be ready, and she. has done so many littlethings through the day to please me,that I cannot find it in my heart to spcakan unkind word to anybody."A SOuTHERN DISCovERY.-We are Credibly' informed that our townsman. Dr.Marion Howard, has discovered a compound, by the application of which teethmay be drawn without the patient's feelig the least pain. A number of physi.cians have examined into the matter :unapronounced it a most valuable discovery.The cormpoundl is perfectly harmless if itshould he swallowed, and the patient iPperfectly conscious during the operation,but feels no pain. How far this discoverymay be applied to surgical operations irgeneral has not yet been tried, but irdrawing teeth it acts like a charm.[Richmond Times.IFAMLY PnAE.--Robert 1Hall, hearing some worldly-minded persons objectto family prayer a's taking up too muchtime, said that what might seem a losswill he more than compensated by thatepirit of order and regularity which thestated observance of this duty tends toproduce. It serves as an edge and border, to pre.serve the web of life from unraveling. "The curse of the Lord is inthe house of the.wicked ; but be blessetnJEFFERSON DAVIS.-Charles OConnor,Esq., counsel for Jefferson Davis, arrivedin town to-day from a visit to his clientat Fortress Monroe. He finds Mr. Davis'shealth in no wise improved since his last.visit, and thinks if anything he is physically a little weaker, though his mentalfaculties continue with their wontedfreshness. From sunrise to sunset he isallowed full freedom inside the fort, going whither he chooses unattended, hebeing on parole; but the returning ofthe prisoner to close confinement whenthe sun goes down is what is now affecting his condition nmore than aught else.The nights being . warm and close, and,what is still worse, being away from thesociety of his wife and children, at tw,i-'light, he feels bitterly this continued overanxiety of his military confinement. Thereports of the Congressional Committeesregarding Mr. Davis have given no causeof appithension to the counsel or clientthat any complicity of the itter in thea-sassination of President Lincoln canhe shown. The visit was in no wise theresult of that report. When or whetherMr. Davis will be tried at all, can at present be purely a matter of speculation,the authorities in no manner givng theleast hint.. Mr. Stanberry, the new At- . ,torney General, will give his attention tothe various papers in the case as soon ashe shall have been a little more conversant with the duties of his office, andbefore the October term of the Virginia U.S. District Gourt,. the several legal advisers of the government will hold a consultation with reference to the merits ofthe indictment.A SERIOUS QUEsTIO.-In view of theGerman war and the unmitigated knocking of principalities into cocked hats, thePall Mali Gazette asks where are thekings. the queens, the princes and theprincesses of the rest of Europe to find asufficiency of eligible candidates for theirhands as wives and husbands? Alreadythe supply is barely equal to the d'mand,I and with the new-fangled notions aboutour "common flesh and blood," as applied both to princesses and workingmen, it is hard to imagine what will bethe consequences of a large diminutionin the number of German royalties. Atthe present time there is hardly any so"ereignty in Europe in -which a Gernauprince or princes is not eith'vr king orqueen or father-in-law or inother-inawor iiarried to the heir apparent .or theheir presumptive to the c. own. It hashitherto, indeed, been the mission- ofGermany to supply Europe with theology, classical dictionaries, and royalwives; and what is to happen when -a.dozen more thrones are abolished it isdifficult to see. When the various Coburgs, whojudiciously keep up a coupleof ieligions iin the various branches oftheir family, so as to be avalable bothfor Catholic and Protestant emergencies,have ceased to be themselves royal, theembarrassment will be really serious.TilER[CharlestonGourier..THR.ucas.-.enator Doolittle madea speech at Madison, Wisconsin, on the~1st inst., from which we 'extract the -following telling truths:But, fellow-citizens, I tell you, and Iassure you, it is as certain, in my judgmecnt, as God lives and reigns, that unless the people in this country sustainAndrew Johnson now in his determinedefort to sustain this Union ar.d to arretLthe mad career of this wild tendency' tocentralization, your constitutional liberties are engulfed in a vortex from whichthev will never rise. [Checers.] Tha'ttendency is to despotism, the despotismof a tyrannfical caulc']-the meanest ofall (despotismis from the days of the seventv tyrants down. [Gheers.]Thcre has occurred this session, in rblation to caucuses, in Congress, whatnever occurred before in th'3 history 'softhe Governmert, and that is that caucuses undertook to bind their memberspon questionfs of legislation. And yetthese men have suffered themselves to beled and bound ha:nd ard foot; aund manyof them-I w ill say the majorty. of them- in the House of Representatives, op;insttheirjudgmnent, have been led by ThaddesSevens, and the men associatedwith him, to make- this onwarrantable,unjustifiable, this most devilish wvarfareupon Andrew Jonnson. [Cheers.]Ruskin abautes not a jot of his sharp,biting, sarcastic style in his new e.ssays.This bit from one of them is exceedinglypungent:"You women of England are all nowhr iekinlg with one voice-you and yourceev men together-because you hearof y our Bibles being attacked. If youcoose to obey y'our Bibles, you willneer care who attacks them. It is justbecause you never fulfill a single, downright precept of the bonk that you arc socareful of its credit. Tfhe Bible tells youto dress plainly, and you are mad forfinery ; the Bible tells you to have pityon the poor, and you crush them underyour carriage-wheels ; the Bible tells youo do judgment and justice, and you donot know n'or care to know so much as