I saw a few minutes ago that they have a new Pope. Just a queerie, do the cardinals get paid plus for perving on his personal private parts when they “pendente bene”? (I hope I got that right—my Latin is a bit rusty and I can’t be bothered looking it up.)

Horrors — another thought — what if a cardinal in the running was emasculated in his youth by a justifiably furious husband or father … could he still be elected?

Imagine a situation during the conclave a guy or one of the cardinals says have been chosen by god to be new pope, will they believe the guy? If they can’t believe the guy, we can’t be expected to believe anything they tell us!