Friday, January 28, 2011

I swear I read somewhere that she was German. Like raised in Germany. Like that girl that was in that movie. The one that speaks French. And runs around naked like a loony bat. Maybe, I just figured she was German because she has all those gravure pictures with all that chocolate on her. At least it kind of looks like chocolate. Or ice cream. Or yogurt. I'm sure it wasn't poop. Just like 2 girls 1 cup. That's all fake. It's frozen yogurt. Sorry to ruin your fantasy. The lemon party too. Those are fake lemons. Just like when they use Elmer's glue to look like milk in commercials. It's all fake these days. Everything is so fake!

Monday, January 24, 2011

So, how is that for dedication? I figured out how to write her name in Korean even though she's Canadian. Now you can copy that and do a Google image search to find her topless pictures done in Korea. You're welcome. I don't know what her deal is. Sometimes she looks so hot, the front of my pants tear open when I look at her pictures. Other times she looks like a nerdy foreign exchange student. Like that one I used to cheat off in math. She was kind of hot, but smelled like some kind of fishy soap. I tried to cheat off her in history too, but all her notes were lines and circles, like some kind of caveman notes. And I think she had a hairy bush. And hairy legs. I figured that was part of the caveman look, to go along with the writing. I think she might be a lesbian. Not the foreign exchange student - Gail Kim. Come to think of it, maybe the foreign exchange student was too. That's why she wouldn't sleep with me.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Oh great, another hot Japanese girl with katakana for her name. Too good for Kanji eh? Her name means Female Animal Black Tree. Wait, what's that...? Oh, I thought it was メス. Whoops. Sorry about that. I guess it's more like Mesa. Of the crappy airline and city in New Mexico. The one right next to Yuma. In Texas. Anyway, enough of the geography and language lessons. What is this, High School? When I looked through my pictures of Meisa, I was wondering why I'm so infatuated with her. She's not fantastic, but every time I see a picture of her I save it. She's like the "precious" to my "gollum". Not like Precious the huge, black chick - I'm talking about the LOTR ring. I'm going to go stroke my precious for a while now.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Is it Ma-Jaw? Ma-Haw? Ma-Yaw? God why is English so hard! Wait, what...it's Spanish? So her name must be Ma-Haw. Like Javier or Jose or Jesus. She was part of a huge scandal once when she stood up and you could see her panties on national TV. Can you imagine how embarrassed she must have been when the whole country saw her underwear? I mean that's just like going on TV wearing a swimming suit or some hot pants. Or a leotard or some jeggings! I can't imagine anyone doing anything like that. Something so obscene just screams slut. And if there is anything those Pinoys know, it's how to not be a slut. Once I saw a bunch of girls walking around the Green Belt with your Dad. I'm sure none of them would even dream of showing underpants on TV. I bet they would feel like they could just die. They would never do anything like that - they'll screw an old man and take his money, but they would never be caught dead in front of a TV camera with their panties out.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Again with the funky spelling! It should be "oy", not "oi". Just ask Sam Choy. Oh well, that was a point made last time. I'm not one to beat a dead golden horse. I'm too busy beating some dead meat. I've been dead inside there for years. Anywei, back to Charlene. She is a singer. And is in a group called Twins. She is very short. She is a fine actress with more potential than she showed in Police Story. This post used to be a lot longer and funnier. And something about how much I want to ravish Ah Sa and how short girls make better lovers. And if her head was flat, she would be perfect. But then my lawyer, who is a 415 in the Triad, told me that if I ever wanted to go to Hong Kong again without a having a hit put out on me, that I better change this. So in conclusion to that run-on sentence, Charlene Choi is nice and cute. And she looks SO much better with long hair. The End.
P.S. Hit or no hit, I still get a huge boner whenever I see any of her movies.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Wow! For the longest time (actually until just now) I thought that Chrissie was a figment of my imagination. I had a couple of pictures that looked like the same girl, but I didn't know for sure because I could never look any higher than her chest. That, and the fact that I was spelling her name Chrissy Chow. That's why Chinese is so hard to learn. Why does it have to be Chau? And Hau? Ni Hau Ma? Can't I spell it How? Now? Wow? Niihau? Then the Hawaiians like to say Pau. Pow! Right in the kisser. That's what I would like to say to these cunning linguists. (See what I did there?) And along those lines, why isn't it Kung Pau Chicken then? Isn't the "au" supposed to sound like "ah"? As in Paul? Or Haul? This way, those words become Powl and Howl. But then Bowl would become Baul which would be pronounced Bowel. Anyhau, I still want to chow on her boobies!