Friday, December 26, 2008

Hot couples earnestly trying to procreate in Hollywood usually get such great, fawning press, just as Marcia Cross and her man, or Josh Holloway and his gal, if you don't believe. But, what about when it all goes...wrong?That's the certainly less celebrated coverage you hear about, and for good reason: Smokey Shooter and Mimi Kitten are one smokin' celeb couple—literally. And even though the multitalented lovebirds have a bunch of differences between them (namely, their ages), there's one thing they can settle on: They want a kid. Badly.But there are two problemos in this offspring sitch:First up, Mimi's had some issues with her ovaries—they ain't working. So M.K. and Smokey hightailed over to their friendly neighborhood fertility clinic to work it all out with a bit of help from their doc.A baby would be a better possibility if it wasn't for the second dilemma—Smokey's dabbling in drugs has gone from a weekend hobby to a nearly full-time day gig, and it's messing with the dude's sperm. Too bad, 'cause a baby between these two could give Suri and Shiloh a run for their parents' money.Get clean, you dopehead! Your woman's got enough probs as it is!And It Ain't: Calista Flockhart & Harrison Ford, Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer, Katie Lee Joel & Billy Joel

Mimi is Mariah Carey's nickname (e.g. her album "The Emancipation of Mimi"). Would Ted be that obvious? If he would, then she seems like a good guess. I doubt it's Demi/Ashton because Ashton is such a busy guy, he's always producing TV shows or hawking cameras. I can't imagine he would have time to sit around the house smoking dope. Mariah's hubby Nick, on the other hand...

But Katie Heigle & Josh Kelley are also decidedly NOT multi-talented and really would anyone care if they had a baby? Certainly not enough to "rival" Shiloh & Suri.Think bigger names...although I am stumped right now. LOL

The biggest clue is that there is a huge difference in age for this couple. Demi/Ashton are a good guess but I dont see AK as a druggie, but as TEd says its only RECENTLY become a problem. The last sentence : 'she has enough probs as it is' does not seem to be Demi, she has not had alot of 'obvious' problems in the last several years. So, it may not be AK/DM but I cant think of anyone else...

I'm going with Mariah and Nick. In an earlier post, Ted calls Mariah a "sex-pot" in a reference to a drug that reduces sperm count and in an even earlier post, Ted's Eyes Have It column mentions Nick flying to Chicago without Mariah and saying he's more talented than Ted realized.

1. The "smokin', literally" makes me think both members of the couple are known for their tobacco use. If Mariah and Nick smoke they aren't known for it.

2. They haven't been married long enough for infertility to even be noticeable.

3. I don't think Ted would be obvious enough to use "Mimi" to describe Mariah.

4. Both are talented, but are either "multitalented"?

My guess: Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley."

First of all, Heigl and Kelley are the same age. Read the blind. It's not them.

As for point number 1, I took smokin' to refer to drugs, not cigarettes.Point number 2 - they've been married long enough for infertility to be noticeable to THEM. It might not be noticeable to the public, but that's why we have a blind item to inform us.

4 - In addition to being a singer, Mariah also writes her own songs and acts. I'm not sure what Nick does.

I agree with you on number 3 though - Mimi is to obvious. The only way I think Ted would use that is if he just didn't care what Nick and Mariah think.

1. Mimi = Mariah's nickname2. Shooter (as in Smokey Shooter)= Cannon (as in Nick Cannon)3.Age difference4."Mutli-talented" (debatable): both have had albums and movies. Nick also has production credits for a TV show (Wildin Out), but I don't know if Mariah has any.5. Numerous speculation on her pregnancy in magazines, rumors of fertility doctor visits, etc.6. "Got enough problems" = last CD not doing as well as her comeback, does her movie Tennessee have a release date(?), people think the marriage is fake, etc.7. I personally feel Nick Cannon's on drugs, lol.

No way is this Mariah & Nick. They only recently got married...this blind is definitely a couple that has been together much longer. Also Ted would never, EVER use an obvious nickname like Mimi for...Mimi Carey.

I agree that it is probably Mariah/Nick C. Ted is not known for being subtle. Less likely would be Demi/Ashton although it's a good guess. Page Six reported that Mariah is already pregnant though so who knows. She's probably had her fertility checked out even before she met her hubby so it could easily still be her...by the way-can we keep the comments on the shorter side and not copy other comments onto our own??? Thanks

Wow, the first BV from Ted that I got instantly. So Mariah and Nick. For all the reasons already mentioned above. I DO actually think Ted would be obvious about this one because really...this is not that big of a "secret" nor something that would be particularly detrimental to either's career. Nick's on drugs??! *gasp!* Please, if he WASN'T, then I would be shocked. And big deal that Mimoo is having lady troubles...lots of women have fertility issues, it's nothing out of the ordinary.

I think it's Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. Ted just mentioned both of them in his column. He always mentions the subject of his Blind Vice in the column. Carey had fertility problems with her ex-husband Tommy Motorla too. She was suppose to have gotten pregnant by Luis Miguel, but had an abortion a couple of years ago.

I don't think it is Beyoncé and Jay Z, because her career is hot right now and she is still pretty young. She has a few years before kids. She was not too kid friendly on Oprah recently. I got the vibe that she rather stay an aunt than be a mother.

Sorry anon 9:05...you got it instantly wrong. I don't know where you people get that Ted is "obvious" in naming his blinds. No way in hell would he use Mimi for Mariah. They have been married a few months, too, this blind is absolutely about a couple that has been together much longer. Also Ted would not mention the two stars from ABC shows for no reason. AND since when is either Mariah or Nick "multi-talented"?? LOLOL Uh, NO. Keep guessing...

Dial down the cockiness anonymous above... I am not dead-set that this is Mimi but as for Ted being obvious- hello, do you remember Death-Mynt-Myrtle, who we thought would be TOO OBVIOUS to be Teri Hatcher???? And it was, as he himself confirmed.

Duffgirl...thanks, I meant to include that bit about Death Mint Myrtle in my original post (about it being obvious) but obviously forgot. I still stand by my opinion that Ted stands nothing to lose by making this so obvious. It's not really that salacious of a BV.

What about Jen Aniston and John Mayer?big diff in ages, she wants a child obviously, possibly multitalented (questionable I know) I could see him doping it up, she has enough probs as it is. Also - coincidence that Ted just said last week that JA as of then had not been a subject of a BV? maybe now its her debut!!

No cockiness intended I am just right. If you really, REALLY look at the clues it is obviously NOT Mariah/Nick. Just facts. Whatever. Everyone can think what they want...I am sure it will all come out eventually.

This is SO Demi & Ashton. Both are well known pot smokers and Ashton has always done drugs but apparently it has gotten more serious. He is the shooter b/c of his camera commercials. Their baby would rival Suri but Mariahs definitely would not...as if. And they have been trying for years...that has been well documented. Mariah just got married for goodness sake. How long could they possibly have been trying?? Mimi just got into shape...great body...besides the too obvious nickname, she would not mess that up yet and not with her employee, Nick.

Ashton and Demi are a good guess, but they have been trying for YEARS to get pregnant. That is old news. Demi has bigger problems than ovaries. She is 46 and probably would need a donor egg. Also, are they "multitalented"? Ashton and Demi produce, but that's about it and who puts producing in that category? Everyone in Hollywood produces.

Eva Longaria and Tony Parker are a good guess, but he gets regular testing with the NBA.

All signs point to Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. Mariah sings and sorta acts. Nick DJs and acts. Also, Mariah has a history of "female" problems.

In looking at the AIAs there are two that have older men/younger women,so that may be the direction to go. It also may be that the only problem the female half has is the significant ovary problem, and that can happen at any age. The stumper for me is that if they did have a child, he/she would receive as much coverage as Shiloh or Suri,and I don't think any of the couples so far meet that level of fame. This one is a stumper!

"These two could give Suri and Shiloh a run for their parents' money" implies both parents have money - is Nick wealthy? And is it reasonable to think Mariah/Nick offspring would be worthy competition at the level of Suri and Shiloh? It just doesn't sound right to me. (In addition, of course, to the oh-so-obvious Mimi/Cannon implication in the names.) And after taking a gander at Demi's current offspring, I think it's far from a lock that she and Ashton could be assumed to have better luck, i.e., of the Suri/Shiloh variety. I'm thinking JayZ and Beyonce. There's a 12 year age difference between them (if Beyonce's 27 and not 32, as some have suggested), they're both multitalented and wealthy in their own right ("their parents' money"), and neither have children. The couple may or may not address everything in Ted's item, but it's undeniable their child would be in the Suri/Shiloh playground.

I'm sorry, but I can't imagine Beyoncé as a mother after her interview on Oprah. She is not that good of an actress to fake how disgusted she looked at the thought of children. I think she might produce one WAY down the road, but I don't think right now.

Mariah Carey is on EVERYTHING these days. She has a movie coming out. She is up there with the Beatles for most number ones. She canceled her tour too.

Now up there with Shiloh and Suri would be another one from Nicole Kidman. Ted doesn't even think Nicole had the first one! Jennifer Aniston was ruled out. Madonna and A-rod maybe? Madonna would need a donor egg too.

"Ted doesn't even think Nicole had the first one!"Sunday is Kidman's THIRD child, not her first. We know she didn't give birth to the first two kids, but Ted thinks Kidman faked her pregnancy to her THIRD child, Sunday.

"'These two could give Suri and Shiloh a run for their parents' money' implies both parents have money."

I don't think he was implying that the parents HAVE money, I think he meant that they could get money for baby pictures. But I agree that I can't imagine Nick and Mariah getting a ton of money for baby pictures-although I do think that they'd get more than Beyonce. Beyonce is a very private person, which has kept the public less interested in her private life.

They are not basically Tom's. They are Nicole AND Tom's. Most mother's have custody of their children, and I think Nicole gets a lot of flak because it's the other way around in her situation. But when the mother has the children most of the time and the dad gets the kids less than the mom, would you say he isn't the father? They're Nicole's kids no matter how often she sees them. She also isn't as much of a publicity hound as he is. She's not big on being photographed with her kids when she's out with them, but that doesn't mean she doesn't see her kids.

Also, they DO call her mom. There was an interview with Nicole that got blown out of proportion and had misleading headlines that said the kids don't call her mom. But if you watch the interview, it's obvious that the kids do call her mom. They just refer to her as Nicole every once in awhile jokingly.

Someone else guessed Janet/Jermaine and I think we should consider it. They have been together for a long time, they're multitalented and she just cancelled a tour so that could be the problems Ted is referencing.

LOLOL I am DYING over here at the poster(s) who thinks Nicole is not the publicity hound that Tommy Girl is...PULEEZE!!! Not only did she fake her pregnancy (well known in Hollywood, not even a secret anymore)but her "hubby" IS a paid employee who can screw around as much as he wants so long as he is fairly discreet. LOL Nicole preens and poses and prances around like nobody's business. She may be the worst, BIGGEST publicity hound out there! And, yes, the first two kids' are most definitely Tommy Girls. They do not call Nic Mom anymore and rarely see her. Nic is much more interested in what Botox and surgery can do for her. She is a loon.

Yes we've been discussing the fake pregnancy rumors over in the thread about Nicole Kidman being a hermaphrodite. Do a search! Actually, the fake preggo rumors have been brought up REPEATEDLY by both Lainey and Ted - but both of them say that they don't believe it. But they like to mention it a lot just to stir the pot.

What about Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy? I could see them both smoking pot and I could definitely see him doing harder stuff than pot. (Plus the "smokin" bit is a reference to a line in one of his movies, The Mask?) I can see them both wanting a baby together. They're both multi-talented (Jim Carrey - actor/producer/writer/comedian, Jenny McCarthy - actress/writer/activist). He's 10 years older than her. She has "enough probs as it is" with her autistic son. And I can see people having an interest in wanting to see their baby.

I'm now thinking Ashton and Demi also. When Ted eliminated Mariah and Nick today he said that it was correct to think of the woman as being the older one. He also said that it was an "infamous" age difference. When Ashton and Demi hooked up it was HUGE news.

Uhhh, Blurry? before you go telling people to go Do A Search you better get YOUR facts straight. Lainey absolutely BELIEVES Nicole birthed a pillow. Ted says it for fun. Nic did fake it btw...very well known in H'Wood.

I was going to guess Courteney Cox and David Arquette. The age difference isn't radical, but yeah, she's in her 40s, and he's still in his 30s. During the Friends run, rumors flew that Courteney Cox was totally infertile. In the meantime, DA could conceivably be a lifelong marijuana smoker, and unfortunately, that'll kill your sperm count.

Except -- way for me to forget! -- they already have a daughter. Damn! And I was so sure!

Yeah he didn't answer the question. However, Ted hinted big time in the past that Ashton might be Pussy Gabor. A lot of people also think he could be Devon Heaven. So remember there are 3 possible BVs for Ashton Kutcher, and none of then are confirmed: Smokey Shooter, Puusy Gabor, and Devon Heaven.

In case no one has noticed, about 75% of the BV's names have the same syllables as the real person or sound very similar. Morgan Mayham, Lindsay Lohan, Smokey Shooter, Ashton Kutcher Smokey is def Ashton, esp because every post I had on the comments of BV saying that was deleted mysteriously.

"Dear Ted:You said in a Bitch-Back! that my personal favorites, David Beckham and Ashton Kutcher, have been Blind Vices, but a long time ago. Does that mean that they are no longer participating in said Vices?—Andie

Dear Bad Boy Syndrome:That would be a big no, Andie. Just because I haven't reported about them in a while doesn't mean said Vices don't exist. But I'll tell ya one thing, you may be off when trying to figure out their BV's."

"Dear Ted:I think I've emailed you over a dozen times, but you never post my email in a Bitch-Back. Even my dog Snoopy is not happy. Though, it's hard to stay mad at you. Anyway my question is: Are the rumors true that Beyoncé is pregnant? Has she been a Blind Vice? Has Jay-Z? I get an odd feeling from them.—Snoopy's Mom

Dear Baby Queen B:No baby onboard yet—or so they say. Total bummer, too. Still say that would be the best baby ever. Could you imagine how fierce B would be as a mama? Dressing her little one in mini leotards and teaching her the "Single Ladies" choreography."

"Dear Ted:Please let us know: Are Pink and her hubby, Carey, expecting their first bundle of joy?—rangerz

Dear Baby Business:Word has it that a close friend of Pink's did spill the baby beans via Twitter last week, but has since backtracked. Mags have been reporting the star's about 12 weeks preggers, and we totally believe the babe has a bun in the oven! Too bad she has yet to officially confirm. Here's hoping that future kiddo, in the oven or not, will be just as badass as the parentals!"

"Dear Ted:Did Demi Moore pay off the FTC so they wouldn't do an investigation of her hubby's shady business deals? They need to investigate her! But anyway, whose Vice

would damage their career more: Demi's or Ashton Kutcher's?—MooKinda

Dear Conspiracy Cougar:Sorry, doll, but I don't think Demi has that kind of power. At least not anymore. Ash got out of this bind the good old fashion way: by being upfront about his investments in the first place. Not everything in Hollywood has to be so shady, baby. That said, Ashton is far more set on keeping his Vice a secret."

This has me stumped. I have tried to look figure out which relationships have an older woman, where he is not overshadowed by her and did not have a child a year ago (I would have been all over Halle and Gabriel if they didn't have a child by that point!) I think Ashton and Demi are the only ones who fit.

I wonder if Ted is posting the Pussy blind now to try to mislead knowing that they are on everyone's minds.

"Dear Ted:It seems like everyone I know is having babies this fall. Clearly I know what all my friends did last winter. Anyway, it got me wondering about all the Vices about wanna-be-baby-mamas. Did any of your Vices end up having the kids they wanted? I'm thinking of Mimi Kitten, Cass Stimulatia, Lucretia Johnson, and probably many more I've forgotten. If not, are they even still trying?—Doc

Dear Mommy Dearest:I've heard grumblings that one of these gals had some luck getting a bun in her oven, but I'll keep my lips sealed on who and let her belly do the talking."

Disclaimer

The "exposed" celebrities mentioned in this blog are purely guesses. They are the thoughts and opinions of the authors of this blog in response to reading various gossip columns. Do not take our guesses, or photos posted of our guesses, as fact or as a source of accurate information. We are doing this for entertainment purposes only.

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