Tourist magnet blows off Speedo-wearing men

Skimpy pants? No Submission for you, Sir

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Alton Towers, the UK's biggest tourist attraction, has balked at the corrupting spectacle of men in skimpy swimming trunks, and has threatened offenders with compulsory bikini line waxing.

The Staffs-based theme park has slapped a ban on Speedos and similar garments at its water park, in a bid to maintain its "family friendly atmosphere."

Alton Towers regards itself as the UK's biggest tourist attraction, with millions of people visiting each year to enjoy the delights of rides such as Submission, The Blade or The Master Blaster in the water park.

According to The Guardian, a spokeswoman said: "We feel this small brief style is not appropriate for a family venue, so we are advising male bathers to wear more protective swimwear such as shorts."

Whether male guests willing to undergo the punitive waxing will subsequently be allowed to remain in their skimpies is not clear.

The move is the latest assault on inadequate intimate garments by the park, which is either a cock-eyed health and safety campaign or a masterful PR strategy.

In July it unveiled an "underwear advisory guide" to help female guests avoid exposing themselves accidentally - presumably while they're enjoying a burst of Submission or a ride on The Blade. ®