Frontal cortex emesis between novels.

By Popular Demand

On Thanksgiving, I tweeted a photo of my Cuban sweet potatoes brimming with giant wads of garlic & other stuff that y’all didn’t seem to notice because GARLIC! And I promised to give out the recipe. And didn’t.

So I am rectifying that oversight now. Behold, as Eric Boehlert would say, the Sweet Potatoes de Cuban via Martha Stewart Except I Changed The Recipe Kind Of:

Take a bag of small sweet potatoes or a few bigger ones. You want enough to cover an 8×11″ roasty pan. Peel em while watching football. Cut em into bite sized pieces while talking to them. Drizzle with a bit of olive oil and toss to coat. Put them in a preheated 425 degree oven in the middle rack. Set the timer for 30 minutes.

During that 30 minutes, furiously mince like a handful of cloves of garlic or a couple of elephant garlic cloves for milder flavour. The original Martha Stewart recipe calls for 4 cloves. PAH! I scoff at the timidity! Mince that shit up good.

Now take like a fistful of fresh cilantro. Stewart uses parsley; you are welcome to your New England foibles, if you so desire. I live in LA, so cilantro is as available as weed, except when it’s not. Mince the cilantro. Note: my fists are small. If you are a giant yummy man with large fists, use a pinch. Also? Call me. Wait. No, not cos of that. I can’t handle THAT.

BING goes the timer! Take out the potatoes & dump them into a large serving bowl. Now drizzle liberally w/ olive oil. Dump in the minced raw garlic, cilantro, then add salt & fresh ground black pepper to taste. Squeeze half a fresh lime into the bowl. Toss everything together until evenly coated, then eat!

These are good hot & cold, which makes them a great potluck dish. My old office loved the smell of garlic in the break room every time they opened the door. Or so they said.

Another recipe I’ve made today is even easier. It’s called Chicken Soup Rice, and goes like this:

Make a bunch of white rice, but use chicken broth instead of water. Voilà! Even men can do it.

My very first real boyfriend’s dad made this daily. However, he was from Mississippi & he added what I guess to be about a pound of butter per serving. If I actually have money, I will sometimes top it with cheese & minced scallion. However, if I’m poor &/or sick, or both like today, I just make it plain. It’s filling & good, & has the electrolytes you need to get better, but doesn’t upset your tumtum.

Last night’s dream? I don’t remember too well, but I was standing in line with Zeljko Ivanek & it looked all dour & Soviety. Nobody talked & it was raining. We were either oppressed Russians waiting for bread or there was a Justin Beiber signing at the Grove.