Phones

Hi. I'm Dan Hesse, CEO of Sprint, and I'm amazed by phones. Aren't they amazing? Why, our new Tentphone for 2009 will expand into a domed living compartment 6.5 feet in circumference at the base. Finally, you'll be able to LIVE inside your phone. Sure, its folded-down size is a hefty 2' x 8" x 6", but you know what? We've had surprisingly few complaints so far from test groups who simply have fallen in love with the phone and only leave it when they have to use the bathroom--and trust me when I say we're working hard on a phone that will provide for this need as well. So come join us or whatever it is I usually say at the end of our ads.

(Celebrity voice impersonated).

And remember, when you get a call and you're in the middle of doing something with people who are right there in the room with you, by all means break off whatever is is you're doing and take the call! Because no call can be missed! That's the battle cry of the 21st century, after all. Even though you've got that voicemail working just fine..... If your phone is ringing, by god that's the single most important thing in the universe and you must pick up, whether you're just sitting down to a turkey dinner, or in church, at the movies, trying to save your marraige, or enjoying the naked aftermath of having just saved your marraige--it doesn't matter what-- Gotta get that call!