My cousin & her hubby were both invited to our wedding. Their kids were not. My cousin still came however he hubby was pissed about our decision and opted to stay home (fine with me). Do I send a thank you card to just my cousin or to them both? So far I’ve been thanking people for their gift (in this case a check which technically did come from their joint marital account) and also for attending our wedding which only one of them did. To clarify, I’m questioning the inside note, Dear X & Y, not simply whose name to put on the envelope.

I would just thank them both for the gift and not even mention anything else. If you do any “thanking” for the wedding there is a chance that it will be seen as you being sarcastic so I would just leave it out.

i would thank them both for the gift and say that you were so happy Cousin X could make it. I agree with Jamaica that it might sound sarcastic, but at the end of the day you do want to thank her for coming.. maybe you could say, “We were so happy to see X on our wedding day”

I would thank X for coming, but thank them both for the gift. You could write something like “We’re sorry Y was unable to make it; he was missed,” if you want to. I don’t think it’s sarcastic-sounding.

So…

“Dear X & Y,

Thank you so much for the mitten-warmer. It will surely come in handy this winter when the temperature drops to -40!

It was so nice to have X join us at our celebration, but we were sad to Y was unable to make it. Perhaps we can get together in the near future to make up for it.

Okay, I voted for option 1, but probably should have voted for option 4.

Since they’re a couple, you thank BOTH of them. Thank your cousin for attending, and express regret that her husband wasn’t able to make it, and leave it at that.

As someone with a child, it IS hard to line up childcare for a whole day event like a wedding, so try not to hold it against him too much 🙂 They may just not have been able to afford all day child care and maybe that’s why he was upset.