Saturday, October 22, 2011

It's that time of the year folks and unlike last year, I'm not wishing for Vitamin D this birthday. Now while it would be great, its not in the forefront of my thoughts.

Do you really want to know what I want for my birthday? Of course you do well get your check books ready. This year I don't want a damn thing for my 27th birthday.

Now if you already got me something, I don't want to hurt your feelings by rejecting your gesture, so I'll take the gift if you insist. However, I already got the biggest present I could possibly think of and that was my acceptance letter to NYU. Everything else this year seems so small in comparison. The admission to grad school had a Domino affect on the every avenue of my life.

1. I got rid of every last straggler I was dating/not dating/semi dating. The truth is that if I would have stayed in LA, I would have continued to allow myself to participate in the same song and dance with so many exes. It was a broken record I continued to play like some crazy person. No MAS! Now that I'm in New York, I'm more honest with myself about the men I surround myself. This time my eyes AND ears are open. There will be no repetition of my LA bad habits. I keep my 'deuces' tucked tightly in my wallet and I aint afraid to flash them.

2. I'm working towards a career not just a job. In LA I was making damn good money with my former company. I had everything a 20 something year old could think of. When I graduated from UCLA, there was a list of material things I said I should have by 25. I got them. A car, apartment, a nice amount of disposable income, clothes, a stamped passport and the ability to travel several times a year. Hold up wait, why did I move here again? Oh yeah I was unfufilled. Those things were great to have BUT I was still missing something. Fast forward to this year and I'm a poor graduate student. I'm 100% sure I made the right decision, I feel like this is where I'm suppose to be.

3. My opinion is numero uno. While I respect my friends and their opinions, I DO NOT let them heavily influence my decision making anymore. This all started with my first change of keeping a lot to myself. Now its catapulted itself into more alone time. I'm happiest when I'm in my studio lost in my own thoughts. I am my own psychologist from this point on. This way I get to save my daytime minutes and remove any possibility of a scapegoat. If I make the wrong decision, I quickly apprehend my damn self.

4. I spend less time on social media, gossip sites and anything related. This might be the most shocking of them all, including myself. This Wednesday I experienced something in threes and while I don't normally believe in signs, I took this as one. I was watching True Life and the topic was textaholics. Mind you I was in the middle of a major textersation while watching the episode. I had just finished talking to someone else that week about how much they use their phone. Hi, my name is POT and I just called the kettle black. Then I was reading a post about how a group of friends decided to take a break from social media, gossip sites and instant messaging for a week. I thought hey, maybe I should try that. So ever since this past Wednesday I have not opened my Facebook, checked my twitter feed, instant messaged on my computer (BBM is my only exception), read a gossip site or opened my Google Reader. You know what its not that bad. I'm going to keep this up til my birthday and hopefully I'll have taught myself to put my phone and laptop down a bit more and enjoy my surroundings.

I'm sure there are more but these are just some of the key points. Its time for me to run and enjoy some more of NY. Talib Kweli concert here I come!

It's so funny how calm the girl is no matter how irate the little boy becomes. She is resolute in her decision to marry him. (Even though he does not feel the same way). She even threatens to revoke his visitation privileges if he does not oblige.

Ladies and little girls, you can't force a man to do what he has already decided he doesn't want to do.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Guy asks for number. Texts and BBM's (I still have a blackberry so don't hate) are exchanged.Girl waits for guy to pick up the phone and call.

Guy continues texting and BBM'ing (this is the girls fault, demand what you want or just call yourself, duh).

Girl and Guy go on two dates that Guy doesn't hesitate to pay for.

Girl appreciates guy, and plans to pay for next date.

On the third** date, Girl and Guy have finished eating at Red Rooster (Big ups to Harlem!) when the check comes.

Girl offers to pay.

Guy declines offer.

Girl offers again.Guy let's her pay.

FLAG ON THE PLAY!!!

I know why women offer, I do understand the logic. Women like to play many games when dating, so they test his interest level. A lot of women will use this as an opportunity to gauge his interest. Fellas if you didn't do well on the preSAT's, don't go out with her again, this is only the beginning.

If you accept the first offer of letting your lady friend pay, she will immediately call all her friends and black ball you. Never to return your call.

If you accept the second offer, she will always remember the moment you let her pay for third date. She may continue to date you, but she will never forget. Women never forget. In 6 months you'll be fighting about why she didn't tell you she was going out with a male friend, she will yell back, "What about the time you let me pay for our third date at Red Rooster."

If you decline both offers and insist on paying, she will take off her underwear at the restaurant and give you the biz in the car. (Note: Only a proper lady could covertly maneuver this trick without skipping a bit, so only date proper ladies.)

If there is one thing I don't do on dates anymore is offer to pay. If I decide I'm paying for a date I'm swift. I know the bill is coming at the end of dinner (or at the movies, bowling, fishing, whatever) so my credit card is in my hand. When the bill comes, I quickly pick it up, place my card in it and hand it back to the waitress. This seems to catch most men off guard. Why?

Because I didn't offer. If we made it to the third date, I'm genuinely interested in getting to know you. I'm enjoying your company. So I see nothing wrong with picking up the check.

Fellas, would you be turned off by a woman who paid for a date without asking. (This is a serious question because sometimes I feel like I'm a bit pushy.) Ladies, do you offer or do you just pay? Am I the only one strong arming checks?

**Three is my lucky number. Three times is a charm right. This is perfectly logically reasoning if I do say so myself.**

About Me

I am young black woman in a large city trying to define myself and future. I choose to have an opinion about everything...you should too! I like having an opinion and sharing it with the world. I also choose to stand for something and making changes where I see necessary. I am full of flaws and promise that I will make several mistakes as I grow and define who I am.

Followers

Quotation of the Day

Love Live Laugh

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, for they become your character. Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny."

A Woman's Heart

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'