What's with the younger White guys being so complacent when it comes down to meeting somebody for a date?

Edit: I had to give credit (respectively) to the older 40s-50s crowd. I find the older White guys to be far less pretentious than the younger 20s guys. Now, I'm not changing the title anymore. It's all about understanding

As an equal opportunity dater that I am, I notice a distinct trend amongst the races when it comes down to setting up dates. And I have to say I get mixed messages and I don't like it one bit.

Anyhow, I get a bit annoyed when I'm trying to set up a date with a White guy, who has a car, has the means to meet up...and he expects me (the younger guy at that) to drive all the way across town to meet him at the Chili's/movie/bar that's convenient for him.

A few months ago I did that, drove all the way across town in rush hour to meet a guy who practically lived behind the Chilis on his side of town. Then to make it even worse, I ended up having to pay for my own beer tab and even when we split appetizers, I ended up having to pay for that too.

Then, 2 weeks later he tells me he was seeing someone and didn't want to meet anyone else

Tonight is a similar scenario: I live too far and he wants me to meet him "over there". Well, if it's far for you, it's far for me too. Why I gotta do all the work? You hit me up online, you suggested going to a movie...It's just a complacent, I don't give a fuck attitude that just ruins the whole mood. And if they have to come to where I am, then they don't want to do it.

That's the only advantage when I didn't have a car: I would make guys come see me or they wouldn't see me at all. No way in hell would I be transiting from downtown Miami to South Miami to visit them.

As far as my dating flaw (to even the playing field a bit), I tend to want guys to pay for me when we go out LOL. Sounds pretentious, but only because in the past I've taken guys to dinner and movies and then the following week it turns out they had no intentions on meeting me again...Like the guy in the Chili's scenario!

That is why I avoid dating white men because I have found that black men to them are just an "experiment" or phase and they have no plans to date us long term. Its the truth but I am willing to accept it

TheTraveler saidThat is why I avoid dating white men because I have found that black men to them are just an "experiment" or phase and they have no plans to date us long term. Its the truth but I am willing to accept it

I would think some guys wouldn't see it like that, but the actions they put out speaks volumes.

I'm dating a guy now who is (White), and he always wants me to come to his place too. That annoys me sometimes But at least, he lets me pick out what we're going to do (and actually gives some input too) and he picks up that tab.

But in comparison to some of these other guys...that's just a harmless flaw. So he's still in 1st place at this point.

ThePenIsMyTier saidHas anyone ever told you that you're like... an all around bad person, Mocha?

This may or may not be my opinion, but my question is if anyone has said this...

Yes, because I say it like it is...Why can't you answer the question instead of getting all PMS on me?

TheTraveler saidThat is why I avoid dating white men because I have found that black men to them are just an "experiment" or phase and they have no plans to date us long term. Its the truth but I am willing to accept it

I would think some guys wouldn't see it like that, but the actions they put out speaks volumes.

I'm dating a guy now who is (White), and he always wants me to come to his place too. That annoys me sometimes But at least, he lets me pick up what we're going to do and he picks up that tab.

But in comparison to some of these other guys...that's just a harmless flaw.

ThePenIsMyTier saidHas anyone ever told you that you're like... an all around bad person, Mocha?

This may or may not be my opinion, but my question is if anyone has said this...

Yes, because I say it like it is...Why can't you answer the question instead of getting all PMS on me?

Don't let the petty remarks get to you. Apparently strong black men who speak their mind is a bad thing here.

Most of your threads seem to be rants about one thing or another. And after the number of threads you've started here, I have to wonder if your ranting attitude is something you take on your dates with you. This would explain a few things. In your defense, I'll admit that gay dating is like crawling through a minefield.

xrichx saidWhat's the big deal? You travel, he pays. It works out. You can always switch it around and have him come to you, and you pay for the meal. Or maybe find guys that are more local to you.

Well, I'm not that far from the center of town. But what's local to this neighborhood is slim pickings for the most part. In 12 months I've met 1 person who lives in this area, and he just wanted sex. Sometimes though, the person doesn't mention paying so to me it's like what incentive do I have to be 'running after them'.

mizu5 saidAre all black men non-complacent?

No, but we're not going to talk about ALL. We're going to deal with the situation at hand.

But since you asked, I find most of the at least half-decent Black guys I've set up dates with are at least somewhat willing to go out their way to meet. They tend to not be the best at knowing how to set up places to go, but they don't get all flustered if I mention something in a different neighborhood.

unfounded7 saidMost of your threads seem to be rants about one thing or another. And after the number of threads you've started here, I have to wonder if your ranting attitude is something you take on your dates with you. This would explain a few things. In your defense, I'll admit that gay dating is like crawling through a minefield.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I wouldn't be ranting if these things weren't happening 1st. Here's an example from tonight that leads up to the rants (paraphrased):

HIM: wanna go to a movie tonight?

Me: sure, what movies do you know of and what theaters you usually go to?

Him: I only know 2 around here...

Me: well there's a nice theater near my area off ___intersection. Wanna see?

Him: Dude that's far. Not into scary movies.

Me: well there is Cherry Creek which is near you, what movie you taking me to see? LOL

Him: It ain't anything good out

Me: well there's a theater off such and such intersection and they are playing (gives 3 different movie titles)

Him: 3 HOURS later: I'd want to see that one, but I won't be able to til 10.

Me: Nothing is playing after 930. I thought you changed your mind and had another offer to go to the movies tonight. I thought you asked me to a movie because you had something in mind you wanted to see.

Oh god damn I know, I went to pick this guy up at his house once, yeah because I'm a fucking sweetheart like that, and when I get there he comes out, looks at me and says,

"you're going out dressed like that?"

I had a t-shirt, jeans and some skechers on.

This motherfucker is wearing a fucking stupid hat turned ever so slightly to the side, a fucking polo with the collar all kinds of popped and a pair of fucking shorts that may have well been pants considering just one more inch lower and they would have been, and this stupid fuck has the balls to tell me what I am wearing is questionable?

My eyes couldn't roll back into my head far enough. So I said,

""

then turned right the fuck around and went back to my truck and got the hell out of there.

Next time they get to come to me so I don't have to drive all the way home to change into some pajamas.

Regardless of race....you are just dealing with the personal preferences of certain guys.

And im a little offended that you assume that White guys in General are all like this. Because in the scenario that its 2 white guys dating wouldnt one of them have to drive to the other. Maybe the guy that lived behind the chilis....didnt have the money for gas or to split the appitizer just one possible situation. It was YOUR choice to drive over there in the first place. On some level you wanted to make the drive.

Regardless of race....you are just dealing with the personal preferences of certain guys.

And im a little offended that you assume that White guys in General are all like this. Because in the scenario that its 2 white guys dating wouldnt one of them have to drive to the other. Maybe the guy that lived behind the chilis....didnt have the money for gas or to split the appitizer just one possible situation. It was YOUR choice to drive over there in the first place. On some level you wanted to make the drive.