Category: UnPhotoshop Awards

If you’re looking at that picture above and wondering why a magazine is trying to pass off an awkward preteen squirrel as Lena Dunham, you’re not alone. Lena Dunham herself did the same thing. Lena posted a picture on Instagram of the cover of the March issue of El País’ Tentaciones, a Spanish magazine I assumed was about sensual octopi but isn’t (I checked), and slapped at them for de-Lena’ing her body.

“Oh hello El Pais! I am genuinely honored to be on your cover and so happy you licensed a pic by @ruvenafanador, who always makes me feel gorgeous. BUT this is NOT what my body has ever looked like or will ever look like – the magazine has done more than the average photoshop. So if you’re into what I do, why not be honest with your readers? Much love, Lena.”

Shortly after Lena called them out, Tentaciones hissed back, saying they never do any retouching and that’s what the picture looked like when they licensed it. That picture of Lena is from a three-year-old issue of Entertainment Weekly, and according to Tentaciones, the only editing they did was crop the bottom of her legs out. Lena crawled back to Instagram and posted a picture of the uncropped image with an apology.

Somewhere on a tour bus, a confused Hillary Clinton is like “The fuck she drag me into this for?”

I can sort of understand where Lena is coming from. Except instead of “There’s no way I’m that skinny“, it’s “There’s no way I’m that fat.” Which is usually followed by “Yes, I see that it’s a picture of me dipping chicken nuggets into a red solo cup filled with cake frosting, but there’s no way that’s my body. Someone has clearly Photoshopped that picture.”

You better download as much free porn as you can before the all-powerful Beyonce calls up Al Gore and tells him to pull the plug and shut down the entire Internet, because SANS PHOTOSHOP pictures of her face are out there. The Internet was good while it lasted, but we dun goofed.

The Daily Mail says that yesterday, over 200 raw pictures of Beyonce were posted onto The Beyonce World fansite, but after the Beyhive sharpened their stingers and stabbed at the site for doing their god wrong, the pictures were taken down. The Beyonce World queefed up a statement saying that they released the pictures to show the world how naturally gorgeous their holy king is, but chose to delete them after the fans went crazy (and they probably didn’t want to wake up with shredded wigs at the bottom of their bed ala The Godfather).

Due to the disdain of the BeyHive, we have removed the photos. We don’t want to cause any drama, nor do we wish to start fan wars. Some of the things we have seen posted were just horrible, and we don’t want any parts of it. We were just posting the photos to share the fact that our queen is naturally beautiful, at the same time she is just a regular woman.

The Beyonce World call themselves a fansite? First, they scatter around hundreds of unretouched pictures of Beyonce and then they insult her by calling her “just a regular woman”? They better recite the Act of Beytrition (aka the lyrics to Yonce) over and over again until Beyonce forgives them.

Even though The Beyonce World erased the pictures from their site, many including these from L’Oréal’s 2013 Feria and Infallible campaigns, were saved and passed around on Twitter.

I was joking about Beyonce pulling the plug on the Internet as punishment for doing this to her, because I think she IS the leak. When I put my Detective La Toya brand magnifying glass up to these pictures, I can clearly see that they’re overly Photoshopped to make her look human and like one of us. Team Beyonce obviously leaked these pictures to make us believe that her skin is capable of growing human pimples and wrinkles. They want us to think that she’s just a regular mere mortal who doesn’t have flawless skin as smooth as a baby angel’s taint. Nice try, Beyonce.

Earlier today, this unretouched picture of 48-year-old Cindy Crawford done up like Cookie Lyon meets the side piece of a South American drug overlord made its way onto Twitter. It was quickly id’d as a picture from a Marie Claire Mexico shoot that Cindy did in 2013 (pictures below). Marie Claire US later burped up a statement saying that the picture was leaked. There were rumors that it was going to be in the April issue of Marie Claire US, but they say that ain’t so. Here’s the statement that Marie Claire US released:

No matter where the photo came from, it’s an enlightenment—we’ve always known Crawford was beautiful, but seeing her like this only makes us love her more. And as she told us at the premiere of her new documentary last week: “I really think—at any age—it’s learning to be comfortable in your own skin. …If women would treat themselves with the same kind of love they give to their friends, that would be such a great gift we could give ourselves. …What makes you the most attractive is self-confidence. That’s what people see.”