Posts Tagged ‘Couples Communication’

Would it surprise you to know that as a Sex Therapist I see fewer clients who are selfish lovers and many more that are too selfless? And by that I mean that they are paying attention to a heck of a lot of things, but not so much to themselves. For most of us, when…

Call me crazy, but I’m getting married again. It’s been almost 10 years since my divorce. Reflecting on the relationships of those years I can see that I’ve been through different phases: dating for a confidence boost (while being totally unavailable); trying to ‘keep it light’ (while being invested enough to get hurt); being in…

As a family therapist, I often hear parents complain of a child who cannot move beyond an interaction, incident or situation, even when it has been addressed. In fact, the parent may have already listened, empathized with the emotion, and talked the issue out. An apology happened. Reassurance was provided. However, the child just cannot…

Couples often come into therapy with quite different views of what the problems are. And this is part of the problem. Maybe even the whole problem. At the simplest level this can be a function of each person seeing the other as the cause of their relationship distress. “She has no empathy for me.” “He’s…

I am a successful businesswoman. I am a successful entrepreneur. I am a successful psychotherapist. And yet, in talking to other parents about conflict between my children and theirs, I frequently feel like a failure. Why is this such a challenge, and not just for me, but for most parents I speak to? How and…

“We were having lunch with my in-laws the other day and out of the blue my mother-in-law said, ‘I’ve decided I want to be cremated.’ I said, ‘Alright, get your coat.’” -D. Spivey Our culture has a lot of deeply hostile (and very funny) jokes about mother-in-laws—a sure sign that something important is going on underneath. Freud’s…

There is so much in a kiss: pleasure, intimacy, and connection. The mouth is built to receive and express. The lips, the door way of the mouth, are lined with a high number of nerves, where babies first receive nurturing and also explore their worlds. It is no wonder that kissing is the principal way…

What do lovers and mothers have in common? I am getting ready to head out on vacation, and it is an interesting time for me for two reasons. First, I like to reflect on my work before taking my big annual vacation. Second, I have to plan, pack, and arrange for two young sons on…

It’s probably safe to assume that the person you’re currently sleeping with slept with someone else before you, but learning about their sexual past can be a tricky issue. In fact, they might have slept with someone else immediately before sleeping with you, if you’re not monogamous. It might also be safe to assume that…

Recently my beloved and I were at the grocery store, shopping for a dinner party. We have done this before but something about this outing was different. “We already have an onion,” my partner said to me in the produce section, followed up by, “We don’t need that large a chocolate cake—let’s buy the smaller cheesecake…

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