The clitoris and better sex

April 5, 2014 : Funmi Akingbade

Funmi Akingbade

There are some couples who always seem to have an almost perfect sexual relationship. But then, there are some others who have a really hard time staying contented in their relationship because the sexual side is dead.

One of the principal secrets a couple needs to know is the recipe for perfect romance and sex. And it needs just two ingredients- unconditional love and wild sexual passion. When it comes to wild passion, couples are advised by sex therapists not to ignore the clitoris. The clitoris when well-handled, gives both husband and wife the best of sexual pleasure.

The clitoris, often described as a small penis, is actually the female version of the penis although much smaller than the penis. It has exactly the same number of nerve endings like the penis. The clitoris is actually big. It is behind the labia and surrounds the vagina. The visible parts of a clitoris are the hood; the frenulum, where the skin of the inner lips meets at the glans; the clitoral opening to the vagina; the hymen; the fourchette; the perineum; and the urethra. The woman’s vulva which is a fatty layer of skin, mostly covered by pubic hair, surrounds and protects the clitoris.

The clitoris is the key for sexual pleasure for most women and unless it is touched, stroked and licked directly, most females would not be able to have an orgasm. Just as a husband gets most but not all of his sexual pleasure from his penis, the wife gets most but not all of her sexual pleasures from her clitoris.

The clitoris is harder to find than the penis because it is hidden under a hood and it is also a delicate organ and must be handled as such.

The clitoris swells slightly during arousal, and then retracts under the clitoral hood as arousal continues and it becomes hypersensitive. This means when a female is feeling sexy, her clitoris is filled with blood and swells up. The outside part doubles in size (like the size of a large pea) and feels hard. It is packed with nerve endings (it has around 8000 nerve endings, this is twice as many as the end of the penis) and is very sensitive. This is why most married couples like to touch it lightly at first during foreplay.

Many husbands sometimes misinterpret the “disappearing clitoris” as a sign of diminishing arousal in their wives. In fact, it is the exact opposite. The shaft of the clitoris runs up under the hood for cover and protection when extremely aroused. This hood covers the clitoris, protecting it from excessive stimulation. Some husbands sometimes think they need to retract the hood to get to the clitoris when manually or orally stimulating their wives. But this is unnecessary; at best, it can only result in overstimulation that borders on pain. Dried secretions known as smegma can collect under the hood, causing pain during sex. A man knows that a wrong touch on his penis will not only fail to give him pleasure but may cause intense pain. However, many men fail to realise that a rough touch on the clitoris can also cause pain to the woman. The reason most men make inadequate lovers is that they do not know where the clitoris is. They don’t even understand the importance of this organ and how to stimulate it.

Now for better sex, couples must know how to handle the clitoris and its environs. It is important the clitoris is gently stimulated by gently squeezing it at the initial stage of sexual contact. When the husband gently squeezes these folds of skin between his fingers, he’ll immediately feel the pressure it puts on his wife’s clitoris in her facial expression.

Remember that different people have different preferences, so make sure to play around with this technique and experiment with squeezing different areas until you find what she prefers. Feather light touch is another clitoral stimulation. It is really easy and the opposite of the previous one. With ‘squeeze style,’ you may be using some form of pressure but ‘feather light’ is completely the opposite of this. When using ‘feather light’, you will be using an absolute minimum pressure on her clitoris, almost to the point where it feels more like soft vibrations.

To start, make your wife lie down on her back and rub a small quantity of lube or saliva on her clitoris. Next, you are going to bring your finger to the side of her clitoris so that it’s just about touching it. It should feel as if a feather is touching the side of it. You shouldn’t have your finger covering her entire clitoris. Instead it should just be touching the side of it.

All you need to do is simply move your finger up and down, while keeping in contact with the side of her clitoris. You will only be moving your finger a few millimetres up and down. So you will hardly be moving it at all. In fact, it will feel more like gentle vibrations. While doing this, you will notice the tension building up in her as she may start desiring more pressure. When you continue with this you would have developed a very good hard on and before you know it, both of you are experiencing a good climaxing sex.

Questions and Answers

Which is the most pleasurable zone in the penis of the man?

– Mr. Abey Okoye

Many men consider the underside of the glans (head) of the penis and the underside of the shaft to be most sensitive to sexual pleasure.

Researchers asked 81 healthy men to rate the erotic sensitivity of different areas of their bodies, including not only the penis but also zones such as the scrotum, nipples and neck.

The underside of the glans and underside of the shaft had the highest sensitivity rating for a significant majority of men, followed by the upper side of the glans, left and right sides of the glans, sides of the penis, upper side of the shaft and foreskin.

I just got married, please what are the non-failing habits that I can adopt to have the best of sex life?

– Mrs. Helen Jacob Oby

To avoid getting into a sexual rut few years after the marriage, observing the following will help tremendously. First, make sure you always make specific sexual requests from your partner. Do not just drop subtle hints and hope your partner will eventually guess what you want. Just ask what you want. To help ensure your partner doesn’t feel threatened or bossed around, try talking about sex outside of the bedroom — that way, there’s no immediate pressure placed on him to perform. Once you feel more comfortable expressing your specific desires in broad daylight, you can start to express them when the lights go down by turning them into sexy talk. Don’t interrogate the female orgasm. One of the most common complaints we hear from women is that they just can’t climax. Unfortunately, stressing it simply exacerbates the problem. The second a woman starts worrying about whether or not she’s going to reach orgasm, she kisses that orgasm goodbye. In other words, a woman who is struggling to climax might try ignoring her orgasm. Instead of focusing on the orgasm, she – and her partner – can focus on her body. What does it feel like when he does that? Why does being in this position feel so different? Where does it feel different? Do I like it? The woman should be as descriptive as possible in the answers and not just say, “that feels nice,” but say “when your stubble scratches my thighs, it makes the surface of the skin feel cool and tingly.” A woman can do this in her own head, or she can do it out loud with her partner, he would certainly benefit from the answers. Just do it! It sounds wrong, we know, but for the sake of your relationship, you should vow to have sex sometimes even when you don’t feel like it (that goes for women and men alike). You don’t always have to wait until you’re ‘in the mood’. In fact, having sex can (and oftentimes) change your mood, from turned off to turned on, from annoyed to endeared, from stressed to relaxed.

Sperm comes out each time I urinate

–Young Christian

There is a problem with your urethral or the base of your prostrate, the best solution is for you to see your family doctor.

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I love stroking and playing with the clitoris.Nice article Fummi.You go girl!

Mike Nwankwo

Bad boy , lol

cheryl

Hmmm

http://batman-news.com Hitler

Na so…

Mike Roy

Nothing beats sucking on a big nipple and stroking the clitoris simultaneously. Then watch her moans ,creams,bubbles and cums.Heaven!

Yawe1

Ashana lol!!

Mike Roy

A lie?

Yawe1

Correct!!

Daniel O

….true talk….she certainly asks for more, more, and more!

http://batman-news.com Sotin

Most men are aroused or triggered by the touch of their nipples and not only the glans or the underside of the shaft.

Sunny Oke.

Madam please make it a point of duty next time to tell the ladies in Nigeria, about the importance of personal hygiene first and the need of a decent clean sexy underwear and keeping the size of their tummies and waist line down by exercising and dieting, before trying to tell the men about going into more sensitive areas.When you get your man mentally stimulated before getting in between the sheets trust me your advice is a mere formality, ladies keep yourselves trim, clean,and sexy , trust me your man will discover chocolate city and will take extra good care of business.

Yawe1

Lol! Seriously you make sense but same goes to men too, check their underwear, their untrimmed or unshaved down hair and their tummies too so is in both side and your assessment suppose to be directed to both side

Sunny Oke.

This topic should be discussed at the national conference teaching Nigerians personal hygiene with a complete ban on second underwear and a radical campaign teaching the stinkers how to wash themselves and keep their sensitive areas clean.There has to be an awareness campaign and invest in health care, this is disgusting and shameful, who is going to raise the topic at the national conference ? am nominating you.

im sorry to say Nigerian ladies are so unkempt when it comes to vagina,it was an unpleasant experience with some when i was home some months ago,the putrid odour coming from thier vagina,i had to go buy douching cream for one lady, i was surprised many women there don,t know about how to wash thier vagina,unlike here in the united states you see vaigina smelling good, this madam should lecture Nigeria women about this vagina odour in Nigerian women

Sunny Oke.

They are so nasty and stink to high heavens .

uba

its a big problem, this woman should address it, and our men should talk about it but with respect,i was really bothered about it,you see a beautiful lady only to be be comfronted with a dirty undie and foul smelling vagina,

Mike Roy

C’mon men.Give our women a break.

Yawe1

I repeat that is the level of woman you go with when you visit Nigeria we have clean women too in Nigeria ok and this issue is not in women alone we men too some are dirty, unkempt and with odour so it’s in both side.

Mike Roy

It is the level of the woman you go out with.Just like we have clean women at obodo oyinbo so do we at home too.Learn how to separate the wheat from the chaff.What are you doing smelling the toto anyway?

Sunny Oke.

Majority are so primitive and put on too much close, no panty liners, anti feminine wash, no access to clean water, second hand under wear, no electricity too much heat, poverty, runs / high mileage, dusty / hot climate, no investment in personal hygiene,no access to basic health care, my brother take a look at the under wear of most ladies in Nigeria and see the disgraceful state, the stench completely overwhelms you, and we talking about the majority here, even the working class included,in my opinion it is not a priority issue among our women they are more concerned about the stinking wigs on their heads, nails, shoes, lip sticks, clothes, hand bags, telephones, make up, eyebrows, and money.

dpfrank

nigerian women vagina stinks.

Yawe1

Common stop that your uncivilized talk remember your sisters and mother who brought you to this world is a woman so what message are you sending. Dirtiness is in both side some men and women sticks while some are very clean.

Mike Roy

You so right Yawe1.I couldn’t agree more.

Mike Roy

Really wetin you dey do smelling toto?

ndubuisi

nice one

Omotolaaraujo

Wow, I didn’t even read this. I did read the comments though. Mothers should teach their daughters, and fathers should teach their sons about personal hygiene. Couples should discuss what turns them on, not read it in the PUNCH.

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