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I am done my degree! A tale of mixed feeling.

Today was a mixture of good and bad, highs and lows, and many emotions. This morning at about 9:30 I finished the last exam of my BSc in Kinesiology degree at the University of Calgary. This was a great feeling and I left with a smile on my face. Even though the exam could have gone better, I’m done and that is what I cared about. As I walked out of the gymnasium a whole ray of emotions flooded through me. It’s incredible how fast 5 years go by and how much things have changed.

When I got home I was feeling a little giddy and very energetic, so I thought I would go for a bike ride. Due to the fact that it was snowing I decided to make it a trainer ride in the garage. After 15mins my mood started to change. My HR was high, I wasn’t able to push any power and my energy levels were dropping. I decided to call it quits after 30 mins of spinning and listening to music.

To try and bring myself back I had some lunch, took a nap, cleaned up my school stuff and relaxed by watching a movie before track practice at 4:30. This time of year people are leaving for the summer so I always like to go to practice to say goodbye to the latest student who is free from exams.

Once at practice I was eager to have some running partners for and easy run. Just as this morning after about 10mins I looked at my HR and it was 167bpm during warm-up. I was already struggling and we had hardly begun. I tried to relax and bring my HR down, but to no avail. After 25mins of yo-yoing off the back and feeling like crap I turned home early and suffered the rest of the way home utterly defeated, angry and confused.

Due to the nature of the day I couldn’t help but think of how I had pictured this day in previous years. I always thought I would be coming off a great season with the Dinos and putting the final touches into my training in preparation for race season. I expected to be loving life, training, and glad to be done my degree as I see everything progressing nicely. As God continually reminds me though, everything doesn’t go as planned. Instead I feel like a broken human. On my trudge home I once more realized that I am more eager to be back training than done my degree. No matter where I am at, if I can’t be doing what I love, it’s not where I want to be. Training and racing has become an extension of me and this year it has felt that that has been ripped away, showing no mercy. Triathlon and everything it involves is such a passion of mine and I can’t wait until we are reunited. I need to get back, and I WILL get back! As for now, I have to deal with being that guy who can hardly run with the girls. I wish today I had graduated from my illness/injury before my degree.