I USED to think the most dishonest award given in this country was the honorary degree.

Young, penniless students work their butts off for three years (well, they do for the purpose of this piece) only to end up in a cathedral watching Cilla Black and Billy Connolly handed the same educational certificate in return for grinning at local newspaper photographers.

But under New Labour that affront to students has been pushed into the second place by honorary knighthoods for celebrity Yanks.

In the New Year's Honour's List Steven Spielberg was knighted (presumably for his services to re-writing history). Then Tony Blair wanted to do the same for Bill Clinton (services to Washington laundries?) Now he's pushed the Queen into giving Rudolph Giuliani one. Nobody disputes that Giuliani is a swell guy who's done a magnificent job in lifting his people's morale, but what's the point in making him Sir Rudy? Think about it. A Republican (i.e. worse than a Tory) mayor becomes massively popular with New Yorkers and our Labour government asks him to kneel down and become a knight of the realm.

A socialist (i.e. what Labour used to be) mayor becomes massively popular with the people of London and this Labour government asks him to kneel down while they boot him up the jacksy and out of their party. Still, it will put a few more grand into Blair's retirement fund when the former PM embarks on his US lecture tour.