Friday, January 23, 2015

So, my husband asks, "Are you in the middle of a book?" at dinner the other night. I'm pretty sure he was trying to gauge whether he'd be able to get back to playing Destiny or if I was going to call family time. I just stared at him because, I mean, what kind of question is that? When am I not in the middle of a book? He should know this by now. The rest of our conversation goes like this:

I give him the look that tells him what I've been thinking and respond, "Yes. Well...technically, I'm 80% in, so...closer to the end than the middle. Why?"

"Just wondering." And he goes back to eating his dinner. Subject dropped.

"Seriously, why?" I ask because he rarely makes such a query.

"Seriously, no reason."

But I didn't want to let it drop. I don't know why. Maybe because I'd just recently had a conversation with my younger sister about just this thing: how he always wants to talk about his hobby (hunting) and get me interested in it, but he hardly ever extends the same courtesy. Any time I say "book" or "reading" I can almost literally see his mind's eye lose focus. I understand...his hobby of choice does that to me sometimes, too, but that's why we should make the effort, right? I mean, it's fine to have your own thing. I love having reading as my own thing.

But sometimes, I want to talk bookish stuff with someone face-to-face. I don't really have anyone in my real life who's as gaga for books as I am. My older sister reads a lot of fantasy and comes to me for recommendations, but she lives over three hours away, so talking about those books becomes an online thing, not IRL. My younger sister enjoys reading, too, but she's busy and reads much slower than I do, so it's literally months before she's able to discuss a book with me. Which is a shame because we work together and I see her face on the daily and could talk to it all the time about books. I understand, though, I really do. And my other friends are all busy adulting or whatever, and if by chance they do read, it's erotica or memoirs or something else I'm not interested in.

And that's why I've always been glad to have this community. Maybe I can't see all of your beautiful faces, but at least I can have honest, gushy conversations with you all about books that I love, too. When I come out of my shell. I am such an introvert, you guys. I still feel like the new kid here, even though I've been blogging for just shy of four years. It's seriously so hard for me to insert myself in a conversation on Twitter, too. I've had a Twitter handle since 2009, before I even started blogging, and yet I only just reached 10k tweets. I have moments where I forget myself and have a nice chat with someone -- wine is usually involved -- but those instances are far and few between. Even so, I'm grateful for each and every one of you who does take the time to talk to me, despite my awkward. I wouldn't still be here if it weren't for you.

Well...and April. I've considered quitting blogging more than once but hardly at all now that April is here. She just has such an awesome approach to blogging: no stress, she posts what she wants, and she doesn't get wrapped up in all of the drama. I never comment on that stuff, but it weighs me down nonetheless. Not April. It's not that she doesn't care; she just lets it slide right off of her. I aspire to be more like April. Her family always, always comes first. (Not that mine doesn't -- I'm going to Disney World instead of BEA, for crying out loud -- but I'll freely admit that when in the middle of a good book, I would much rather finish that than spend my time in some of the ways that my family has imagined for me.) She has never shown me one ounce, not one iota of ARC envy. And she never lets a "reading schedule" stress her out. It just is what it is with her.

I strive to be more like that. And I'm getting better at it, under April's tutelage. It's just so wonderful to still have people like her in the community, ya know? Especially with the way things have been recently.

There wasn't really a point to this post. It's just that my husband got me thinking the other night, as has so much of the drama in the community as of late, and basically I just wanted to say that I still love being a part of this group. I haven't been around as much as I'd like, haven't been leaving comments, like, AT ALL in the last few months, but if we're friends and I follow your blog, know that I'm reading all of your content. I just haven't had much time to actually respond to all of your wonderful posts, what with being a full-time working mom and trying to maintain our blog here, plus get some reading done in between.

But I need you guys. My husband's been making more of an effort ever since that conversation, but he just does not get my enthusiasm for books like y'all do. That's probably true for a lot of us, and that's why we're all here, right?

Nobody around me reads so I totally get what you mean. My family usually leaves me alone when I'm reading but sometimes I feel left out if they're watching tv and laughing and I don't get why they're laughing. I get a little torn between reading and spending time with them haha. I do love how I can talk books with the blogging community!

ah!!! I am lucky my hubby reads. He reads more MG but he does read some YA. I know the feeling of know friends who read but they read adult stuff that I am like ewe I don't like those books. Some are ok but most are the erotica and nope I can't do that. I am also the same shy person but I am more so online. I am not one that knows what to talk about unless I am in person then I ramble a lot. But none of my friends want to hear about my books. I force some but its just a one way conversation. so I get and I am sorry. I am not good at commenting either. I am trying to get better... again I am a loss for words on what to comment. So I will chat with you anytime. facebook or email or goodreads. just let me know. Usually you are ahead in books but we can chat them up.

I completely get this! My husband hates to read and rolls his eyes every time a new book comes in the mail. He doesn't want to hear anything about it. None of my friends or other family members read, either. That's exactly why I started blogging. It was the only way I could gush about the books I love and complain about the ones I didn't to an audience who actually want to hear it. I'm usually more of a lurker than a commenter but I read you all the time. :)

"And my other friends are all busy adulting or whatever," never has a phrase stuck with me more. I totally get what you mean. My best friend is a reader, like me, but doesn't actually read all that much. She reads like 20 books a year and I always recommend books to her but she's too busy working or whatever to actually pay mind. My co-blogger and I live relatively close to each other but she's in high school and I'm in college; so we're both really busy.

I only ever get to fangirl with people on the internet, which is strangely comforting in a sense.

Firstly: "I'm pretty sure he was trying to gauge whether he'd be able to get back to playing Destiny or if I was going to call family time." I think you just described every single one of my friends :D It's not that good of a game!Secondly, I completely feel your pain!!! I have one friend who reads, but she thinks she reads a lot more than she really does. Like people on here are way bigger bookworms, and I feel like she doesn't quite get the passion I read with. So if you want a chat, you should come talk to me! Even though, you know, your husband won't talk to you, and my high school friends won't talk to me...

Girlie, I super heart you. I completely get it. I have a non-reading, Destiny playing husband as well. And my 'real life' friends don't have the same enthusiasm for books that I do and if often wish I could relocate some of my online bookish friends. You are one of those people that I consider a good (online) friend. Even though we hardly talk, I hold you in high regard. I enjoy your reviews, I value your opinion, and I love nerding out about bookish things with you! I'm so glad you (and April) are part of this community. *fingers crossed* that we'll make it to the same bookish event soon. :)

My husband has a thing for gaming (among other things that I am not interested in) and though I am always there for him to enthusiastically talk about his interests, he barely seems to be there for me, which is frustrating as hell. I see how his eyes are losing focus too when I mention a book and sometimes it drives me crazy *sigh*. But when it comes to that (to reading/gaming) I try more, to be in my world and understand his too, because I am like that and because I love seeing him enjoy his things (there's a happy feeling I wouldn't take away from his face). We have plenty of other things in common, it's not like I need him to start reading just to "feel connected", but it would be so nice for him to try a bit too when it comes to my reading habits.

As for the reading community, that's basically all I have. No, it's true, because I do also have a couple of friends in 'real life' that (rarely) also read books similar to what I like (and I do mean only 2 friends), but I barely talk about books with them and they are far away across the country, so it all comes down to the blogging world and GR community with whom I can share my thoughts... and feelings and I am so grateful for this.

Reading sometimes feels like such a lonely thing, but it brings me too much joy to even consider it. I just roll with it and enjoy my books and if I get the chance to talk about them with someone across the world that is enough for me. Or I make myself think that it is :)

Here's for hoping that 2015 will make a difference in this (maybe our loved ones will start thinking more like us and try a bit more, even though they won't ever share our reading interests)!

Aww. I completely relate! If only we lived closer. No one in my everyday life except for one friend reads-we love to talk books but our tastes are rather different. The book community has been such a wonderful thing. I'm with you--I still feel shy most times. At an event I get so nervous to have to talk to people. Anyway, we love you and let's talk books soon, ok?

My hubby isn't a reader and when I'm gushing about a book I can see he just doesn't get it. He has read 2 books in15 years. He just read Unbroken because I would not let it go. At some point, in every conversation (literally every one) I would insert the comment you should Unbroken. I think I bullied him into reading it. He really enjoyed it so now I don't feel so bad about my tactics. I loved that book which surprised me. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty and Before I Go To Sleep by SJ Watson are really good. I recently read both.

OH I FEEL YA, I DO. I have zero people to talk books with. My sister used to co-blog books with me and...even she is absolutely useless. She reads like 1 book to my 20. -_- It doesn't make good conversation because I'm always reading new stuff and she's no idea what I'm on about. *Sigh* Although my mum has made more of an effort to talk books with me, which has been nice. :)I'm SO a blogger because I need to fangirl and flail about books with people!! The blogging community is THE BEST.

That's sweet that he's trying to make an effort.I try to get my hubby to read books with me, but it doesn't work. He'd rather marathon a TV series or watch sports. Ah, well, at least he lets me read whenever I want. :)I, too, need bloggers and online book friends. Love this community!

I love love love this post! My husband shows mild interest in the book love too. I will tell him about a book, and he will pretend to be interested, but it's clear that he could care less. Thank goodness for bookish buddies. :)

And there are many times I want to just ignore both Brian and Aubrey, to go read my book. They don't let me though. lol.

I love love love this post! My husband shows mild interest in the book love too. I will tell him about a book, and he will pretend to be interested, but it's clear that he could care less. Thank goodness for bookish buddies. :)

And there are many times I want to just ignore both Brian and Aubrey, to go read my book. They don't let me though. lol.

My fiancee reads on occassion, but he mostly rants about how vampires and werewolves in most books this day just aren't mean enough. He likes HORROR, not Fantasy/Paranormal. I like Fantasy/Paranormal (though in recent years I can honestly say I've avoided the werewolves because so many books feel so similar). But we can't really have an honest conversation about a book.

And I fail at the social media thing. I just don't talk to people. Unless someone talks to me first, I normally stay pretty silent/out of it. I've been working on commenting, and I'm getting much better at those! :)