No One Has Marketed The Hell Out Of The Tooth Fairy, Until Now

Visits from the Tooth Fairy are, by their nature, a commercial transaction. Many families buy or make special under-pillow holders that make it easier for the overnight visitor to find the teeth she (or he) is after and leave behind some cash. What the Tooth Fairy lacked was a coordinated marketing campaign with an online game, books, costumes, toys and other merch. Until now.

The real problem with the Tooth Fairy tradition is that it’s passed along families, without any interference or branding from toy companies. That’s not acceptable. Going far beyond the global tooth pillow market, The Real Tooth Fairies offers a Disney-Princess-like array of beautiful fairies. They come in a variety of ethnicities, three of which are blonde and all of which are light-skinned with Caucasian features.

No one wants to leave boys out of the fun. Even though the only piece of merchandise for them is a dinosaur backpack, there’s also a set of fairies for them, which are time-traveling elffs [sic] or something.

Thanks, maybe, to the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood for bringing this to the world’s attention. They dug up a video presenting the characters to investors and posted it to YouTube, which the company had taken down on “copyright violation” grounds.

What’s wrong with free advertising? The problem was that the video has the Real Tooth Fairies creator saying things like this:

This is a huge, huge property and a huge character franchise, and the genius of it is no one’s really tapped into it the way The Real Tooth Fairies has. We could come up with a list of time-tested characters, from Spiderman to Mickey Mouse to Tinkerbell to Spongebob, and I believe the tooth fairy, herself, as a character, literally stands at the same level of these kind of globally-recognizable characters.

The creator, Paul Yanover, is the man who brought Club Penguin and the Disney Fairies franchise to online gaming and toy tie-in glory.

Don’t fret, though – there are other Real Tooth Fairies videos online for you to enjoy. This one, for example, will teach you that fairies who wear glasses are disgusting objects of derision: