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Review:

CambAngst says:Happy Birthday! This is your Gryffie Brithday review. This story was recent and frankly appears a bit under-loved, so it seemed like a good choice.

I thought this was a fantastic characterization of James Potter.It wasn't too saintly. It wasn't completely lovestruck and smitten. There's a strong dose of competitiveness and a fair bit of fear and even a bit of possessiveness. In other words, it was completely human. Love often starts out as that feeling of realizing that you aren't so happy about the idea of the other person being with anybody else.

The way you wrote the reactions of the other Marauders was really well done. Carefree, slightly jealous Sirius who mostly just doesn't want to lose his best mate to a girl. Wise, patient Remus who wants to help James along. Even poor, clueless Peter who can only contribute his outside observations.

"James didn't want to ruin it, but he knew in his heart that Lily Evans was going to be the death of him one day." - Gah. Poor James. If only you knew how true this statement really was. :(

I think my favorite part was watching James start to be honest with himself about his feelings for Lily. He seems like the kind of kid who had a pretty strong capacity for self-deception. He could convince himself that being popular and talented and a great Quidditch player made up for the fact that he was a bully. He could convince himself that Snape deserved the abuse that he heaped on. (OK, maybe he was a little right about that.) Here, he finally admits something to himself. He's honest about something that makes him feel weak and vulnerable. It's not a natural act for a guy like James, but it's an important one.

Your writing was terrific in this. I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems. It flowed really well from start to finish. Nothing sounded wordy or stuffy.

This was a really good one-shot. You know what I think would be awesome? Writing Lily's side of this. How did she go from thinking of James as an arrogant, obnoxious prat to falling in love with him? Then you'd have a complete set!

Author's Response: aw thank you so much!
this was such an amazing review and I loved every piece of it!
This one-shot of mine was a bit unloved, so I feel so glad that you wrote a review on it!
I'm glad that you like my characterizations on James because he's my favorite character (along with Sirius) so I like to think that I did him justice (:

the idea of writing Lily's side is AMAZING!
i think i will do that because that sounds like an amazing idea. it WOULD be nice to see the change and the idea of a complete set is nice!
thanks for suggesting that!!