Not every song in the top 40 is worth downloading, and not every beer launched is a modern classic. In each case, most will be boring, tasteless, tacky, or poor imitations.

But we’ll focus on beer. To try everything you would need as many livers as you would income streams. I can’t have beer every night, and I wouldn’t want to. I want it to remain special and something I really look forward to, like OK Computer.

The modern beer scene is brilliant. There are no rules, complete freedom, and creativity like never before. I love the artistic and design elements, the enthusiasm, and that more people are enjoying the best drink in the world. But there is a cost.

For every brewery that opens, one of your favourites releases a single hop range. Then some Americans will meet with some Scandinavians to produce a new style. Then that new style will get reproduced by eighteen-million breweries in London. Then a second wave will take that already overdone style to extremes in order to stand out. Then someone will propose we serve these beers in ludicrous ways that actually have a negative effect on flavour. With each stage we clamour to find these beers, photograph them, Tweet them, blog about them.

I’ve mentioned before that the popularity of ‘craft’ means beers are selling that really shouldn’t be. Edgy cans and nonsense ethos continue to hoodwink us, so a great deal of what we try is no good, and we waste money on bad beer. But that’s not all. There’s the time and energy in sourcing the latest limited edition. You might not be lucky enough to live two doors from one of the best bottle shops in the country, in which case you’ll plan in military detail how to get that Cloudwater DIPA in the six and a half minutes it will be on the shelves; if you manage to find it on keg you’ll have to sell your car to afford it; and if you’re devout you can multiply that effort and money by however many beers are featured in the current edition of Original Gravity. And we haven’t even left the UK scene.

Now the real issue: while, at breakfast, you’re trying everything that was released while you slept, you’re not drinking some stone-cold classics and favourites you haven’t had for years. Timeless masterpieces are sitting dormant while you guzzle a pale, grapefruit yawnfest. Schneiderweisse Tap 1 isn’t being sold in UK bottle shops because there has to be shelf space for a brewery started by the second cousin of the assistant brewer of Magic Rock. That is the greatest expense of all.

Beer is supposed to be the universal drink. Limited editions and ten quid pints are not accessible to many, those on moderate incomes and not part of the scene shouldn’t be limited Stella 4. Trying everything new and hyped and paying whatever it might cost is simply being trendy.

I wouldn’t change anything about the current scene, but I’m opting out of certain elements. Choosing based on can design? Never. Ten pounds for a pint? I can buy a Duvel for three. Untappd? Uninterested. True greats bubble to the surface, classics will speak to you.

I don’t know what songs or beers were released this week, but my weekend will be filled with amazing drinking and brilliant music.

If language was the preserve of pedants we’d all be talking some bizarre olde worlde stuff from the Middle Ages. I understand that it develops, adapts, better serves, and modernises – and I understand to what Stormzy is referring most of the time (I’m quite street, you see).

But I’ll never speak like anybody that appears on Love Island. That version of language is trend-obsessed nonsense that meant nothing ten years ago and will mean nothing in another ten. It’s tribal and is used by insecure people to show they are relevant and modern.

I know beer styles morph with the times; an IPA is not now only herbal, grassy, or minty – or like drinking pond water from a mouldy slipper with some – now it can also be packed with citrus aroma and flavour. The terms to describe styles should also evolve; when the modern IPA was made at double the strength we called it a double IPA.

Imperial, export, sour, oak-aged, dubbel, saison, lambic, gose, juice, stout, mild; all terms which mean something, that make sense with a little explanation, and tell you about the beer. If you understand these terms you’ll know that you could never have a juice stout or an imperial mild (I can almost hear the brains of hipster microbrewers asking “or could you?”). So why is the term ‘session’ describing intensely bitter beer above 5% ABV?

Firstly, anyone built any slighter than an Irish Lions prop can’t have a session on a beer of more than 5% ABV. Let’s assume four pints of beer does not constitute a ‘session’ as this is typical intake for a moderate drinker on a night out. If I – a 6’1” seasoned drinker – spout utter drivel before falling asleep fully-clothed after five pints of 5.2% beer, then to whom does the term apply? Surely only those built like prize bulls.

Secondly, a beer of this kind should surely be easy-drinking. The trend for bitter hops means guzzling a single pint of most modern ‘session’ beers is an arduous challenge. They’re often unbalanced and have nothing smoothing the harshness – they are way too punchy for a session. They should be called ‘prolonged assault’ beer.

Finally, how irresponsible is it to suggest anyone drink more than four pints of 5.6% beer? If you feel properly woozy after three do you plough on to prove that you’re a real man? Do you knacker your liver to fulfil the brief issued by the brewery? Not me, I’ll go home to watch Newsnight, or order a Coke.

‘Session’ doesn’t mean low ABV or easy-drinking anymore, the only two things it really should mean. Have too many sessions on these beers and you won’t live long enough to find out what the next meaningless beer term is. If it really had a place in beer terminology then we’d have been drinking Heineken Session Lager, Guinness Session Stout and Hoegaarden Session Wit.

I don’t want to be salty but we should make these waste cadets and total melts pie the dodgy lingo and stop muggin’ us off. Let’s crack on with the graftin’ and get back to ‘session’ meaning, like, a 3.5% pale, you know what I mean?

As a white male with a comfortable upbringing it might be a bit cringeworthy to hear me thumping tubs or see me approaching a soap box to speak out on behalf of others. But I can’t understand how outrageously outdated attitudes are still prevalent in 2017. Beer folk are pretty liberal types, but the prejudices and numbskullery we see elsewhere pervade our world too.

Sexism is everywhere. Turn on the TV or radio and it will only take a moment to witness it in some form. Of all the moronic ways of seeing others as different or inferior, I find sexism the most shocking, perhaps because we’re not talking about cultural or hereditary differences, but HALF THE HUMAN SPECIES.

Adverts tell us to “Get some nuts” and colleagues insist we “man up”. A short time ago Yorkies were “NOT for girls”. Where I work I’m often called a “little bitch” and men will be greeted as “ladies” – as if we should feel inferior. Sexists pass this off as “tongue in cheek” and say we take it all too seriously. They think Fosters adverts are relevant and didn’t see the harm in Page 3. They don’t see the ugly hangover of laddism and its many precursors in mainstream media.

They will argue that things have never been better for women, that Fuller’s have appointed a female Head Brewer. To suggest unfair treatment today pales in comparison to the past is not an argument at all, caveperson!

Some brewers are living in the dark ages. Flying Dog make Raging Bitch, Route 2 Brewery gave their range overtly sexual names such as Leg Spreader and Panty Peeler. What kind of redneck cretin are they targeting?

It can be less obvious. Pin ups have been given something approaching innocence and nostalgia. Castle Rock Brewery are one among many that have capitalised on this, pushing the boundaries of what ‘pin up’ means, with boobs bigger than were ever depicted on the side of bombers appearing on pump badges.

It doesn’t matter that women work in these breweries. Many women are not feminists, just as many Christians don’t forgive, or love thy neighbour. Just as I am a man and don’t shout at footballers on TV.

There is also an increasing machismo throughout the beer industry. I gravitate towards women and unthreatening men when it comes to my social group, so MEN seem strange and shocking to me. There aren’t many, but they make more noise than the rest combined. They seem to be guys in ‘craft beer’. They talk loudly about why their point of view is the one we should adopt, and their beer is the best in the world. They all but shout “I AM AN ALPHA MALE” at you. They all seem to smoke too, meaning they can’t taste beer very well. Ha! Look at me generalising and encouraging prejudice.

Still, women brewed for hundreds of years before these know-it-all dudebro morons arrived, and will likely be better tasters, as women generally are.

My point is that beer can seem like one big, lovely family. But look more closely and you see how much there is to be done. Just because women are mistreated or misrepresented to a lesser degree than in another industry/period in time/part of the world, doesn’t mean that mistreatment does not exist in our industry or is okay.

It’s a brilliant time to be a beery Brightonian. The Pond opened on Wednesday and is offering Beavertown’s George, Bierhaus is imminent and looking like a fortress of boozy goodness, and, if you can contemplate more excitement, it is a sunny Tap Takeover weekend!

I was lucky enough to be in on the Meet the Brewer tasting and launch tour on Friday. Laines Pub Co offered wonderful hospitality and there is no questioning the passion of the brewers, who this year came from as far afield as Croatia and Barcelona.

It was the Croatian brewer Garden’sCitrus IPA that stood out in the tasting, both for appearance (it actually had a head!) and taste. It was smooth and rich without the saliva-sapping bitterness all too common with this style. The 7.2% strength adds depth and character and it has a balance and subtlety that so many others lack.

The sours on show were also good. Three of the six we tried were kettle or aged sours – more on that later.

The canning line at The North Laine is fun and a nice personal touch. I’m gutted my Sow by White Hag was picked up by someone else; I hope they enjoy it all the same.

I’ve heard a lot of people saying that the venues are places they would never normally visit for a beer, as if that were a bad thing. What would be the point in showcasing beers in the places you went all the time? You go there for good beer already. I loved visiting pubs I hadn’t been in for ten years.

Standouts on the tour included Fourpure’s Vanilla Porter in The Mash Tun, a silky smooth but hugely potent number; everything on offer from Fierce at The White Rabbit; Wylam’s Black Wit at Dead Wax Social was intriguingly bonkers; and the Fermentation Radio and Two Tribes NEIPA collaboration at The Mesmerist was hugely enjoyable.

It would be uncharacteristic for my blog to be a celebration of how great everything was, and so we reach the inevitable ‘but…’

As mentioned above, three of the six beers at the tasting were sours. Not wholly surprising as I wrote in November that they would explode in popularity this year. But why must the scene chase trends like this? Most recently we’ve had NEIPAs, before that it was Stouts that could sozzle an elephant. The modern IPA is still going strong with hops masking a cornucopia of dull-as-you-like beers, though most at the Tap Takeover are fine examples.

Each time a brewer tells me they want to open people’s eyes to sour beer my eyelids get heavier. My eyes were opened by Cantillon, Boon and Oude Beersel more than a decade ago. Since then I have visited Berlin to find their Berlinerweisse, then Leipzig to try authentic Gose. Years ago Siren released Calypso and Tool were producing great sours.

Rather than opening our eyes brewers seem to be behind the pace at times, only brewing new styles having been introduced to them later than a lot of us.

Creating fads is the quickest way to disenfranchise genuine fans while getting lost in the crowd. I thoroughly respect those who have brought Pilsners, mid-strength Stouts, Brown Ales and Bitters. So hats off to Five Points, Moor Beer, Garden, and Gypsy Hill for not telling me what I should be drinking, and for bringing beers that I like drinking. ‘Classic’ is not a dirty word, and classic styles are not easy to make or boring to drink.

The Tap Takeover is amazing and creates an unbelievable atmosphere around town – there are so many brilliant beers and lovely people to try them with. The sun is shining and this bonanza of brew is a wonderful excuse for you to visit a pub, discover great beer, and enjoy Brighton in all its glory.