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Things That School Never Taught Me About Life

13.9.17

I'm a dropout. I'm a 'I hate the education system' kind of gal. The only part of school that I ever enjoyed was the social aspect - the seeing my friends all day and everyday.

Saying that, I was a total goody two shoes (not this rebellious teen that that first paragraph made me out to be). I got great exam results, I constantly tried hard, and I had detention, I think, about 3 times within my entire High School duration.

You see, it wasn't until I reached the last year of high school, and then eventually dropped out of college like 2 months in, that I began to realise just how education made me feel and how little I knew about REAL life.

Sure, I could probably have told you about all of the themes in Of Mice and Men, or name some elements from the periodic table if you'd have wanted me to, but when it came to the real world, I was lost - in the world outside of my social circle and my classrooms.

So, today, I thought I'd talk you through a few things that school never taught me and how I've come to learn things through... well... living life, REAL life.

Money Is Hard To Handle (and earn)
School never taught me about money.

Sure, I knew that I had to leave school and then eventually earn a steady income at some point in my life, but that was literally it.

I didn't learn about Tax or VAT or even realise the cost of just living until I'd reached about 17.

Until I started earning money for myself through blogging, I lived off of my Mum and Dad (I still pretty much do these days as well, but I earn my own dollar bills too, don't you worry). My Mum and Dad funded my life, bought my clothes and looked after me in every way possible.
And, when I started to earn my own money (quick thanks to le parents for waiting around and believing in my wild choice of self employment), it made me realise just how tough it is to handle.

You see, I didn't realise that a bank balance £100 (which would have used to have seemed like I'd won the lottery or found a pot of gold) would suddenly make me cry and make me start sharing 'help me, I'm poor' memes. I didn't realise that being self employed and working in the modelling industry would mean that I'd sometimes be waiting 8 weeks to receive the money I'd earnt, or be struggling to even earn money in the first place (all those unpaid collabs, I'm looking at you). And,I just didn't realise that it costs soooo much to simply survive day to day, to get from place to place and to look after yourself or fund what you do.

School never taught me that, and that's stupid because it's such a huge part of life. It's such an important thing to understand, and also such a tricky thing to deal with if you're really not sure what you're doing with it.

You Can Do Whatever The Hell You Want In Life (even without exam results)
Ah, the ol' idea of 'what am I going to do with my life after school?'.
I went through soooo many different phases and job ideas when I was younger. I thought about being a teacher (worst idea ever - I'm crap with kids), an actress (something I will always want to pursue, even though I never will, and can't even act anymore lol), a radio presenter (again, I'd still love to do this) and the last idea I remember having, was a film trailer editor (like Cameron Diaz in The Holiday - plus, living in that house she has wouldn't be too shabby).
I went through a lot of ideas.

As you can tell, I was always drawn towards the more 'exciting' and 'creative' job ideas. There was never a part of me that wanted to become an Accountant or work in an office all day (I'm sure these kinds of jobs are very exciting, but they're just totally not up my alley). So, I think that I often felt kind of trapped and pressured at school - I didn't feel like I could dream as big as I wanted to.

And, well, if it wasn't for becoming too ill to be at college back in 2014, I would have stuck it out. I would have gone through the entire education system, all the way to the end, even though I well and truly hated it.

Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with going all the way to the end with education - I have so much respect for people that can hack it - however, I just got no enjoyment out of it. I could feel myself slowly withering away and loosing myself, and sitting in a classroom, walking from lessons to lessons, wasn't helping that at all.

I'm just so glad that I started up my blog and got scouted by my amazing modelling agency because they've managed to bring me back to life again - they've let me dream big and allowed me to be and do whatever the hell I've wanted to.

So, I guess the point of what I'm getting at is, school can make you feel like you have to do certain things to get by in life.

You get told that you need certain grades and qualifications or else no one is going to be interested or, you won't get to where you want to be, and it's just not the case at all.

I don't have A-levels, I don't have a degree, and yet I'm still doing something with my life, earning a bit of money and enjoying it - you can do whatever you put your mind to!

Express Yourself!
The amount of days I spent in front of the girl's toilet mirror, rubbing away my Benefit They're Real mascara from my eyes, and dabbing off my hot pink lip stick, are too many to count. (Ironic considering how bare I like my face to be now lol)

You see, I didn't look like the other girls. I didn't have dark eye lashes and brows, I had translucent lashes and my confidence was majorly lifted just by adding a spot of lipstick to my face.

BUT, school rules are school rules, and that meant I couldn't express myself like that.

We weren't allowed makeup, nail varnish or wacky hair colours; we weren't allowed to wear tighter skirts or certain shoes, and we weren't allowed to channel ourselves in anyway. And, the problem with that is, when you're that age, it can have such a huge affect on how you feel about yourself and other people's perception of you.

I'd be so uncomfortable in front of other people without the comfort of mascara, or knowing that my lips were standing out just that little bit more than usual would just give me that boost of confidence I needed. I'd spend my days comparing myself, the way I looked, the way I was perceived, to everyone else and it's had such a huge effect on me today.

But, now that I'm 19, living my life swanning around in whatever I think I look fucking fabulous in, I've truly learnt how amazing and important it is to be able to express yourself.

Wearing what you want, styling yourself how you want, being how you want, is what makes you YOU and if you're being stopped from doing that, it's no good at all.

If you want to die your hair blue, go for it. If you want to wear a red lip, go for it. If you want to wear green, orange and pink altogether in one outfit, then YOU GO FOR IT.

Your Health Should Always Come Before Work/School
There's so much pressure on young people in education.

There's such a huge pressure to succeed, to get specific grades, to reach certain goals, and I know from my own experience, that it's completely and utterly draining.

The thing is, when I was studying for my GCSEs, I was struggling with an eating disorder, slowly becoming more and more depressed and struggling to concentrate on anything other than timings, food, and panic attacks due to my constant Anxiety and OCD.

I was in a shitty situation. And, I'll be honest, education just made it soooo much worse.

All my target grades were A's and B's, I was trying to get into a certain college (again, ironic considering I dropped out lol) and I could feel pressure pressing down on my shoulders like no tommorow.

I remember I hated school SO much by the end of it. I'd be watching the clock, counting how many times the hand went round and waiting for it to hit 3:00pm. I'd rush home and just want to hide away in my house.

I couldn't focus properly because my mind was fixated on calories, exercise and food and I was constantly consumed by dark thoughts.

I wish I'd just looked after myself now - I wish I'd have told myself to just focus on not letting myself get any worse or given myself a break.

In fact, I wish that the pressure wasn't there in the first place. I wish I didn't have to tell myself to have a break. I wish someone had told me that the grades were not as important as being alive, or as important as having a healthy mind.

19 comments

These pictures are beautiful! And I'm so happy you wrote this. I dropped out of college (three times, lol) for similar reasons to you and not having A Levels makes me feel really bad sometimes. But school isn't for everything. I love learning, but I can do that by myself, while earning money to do the things that keep me healthy and sane (travel). School really doesn't do a great job of preparing anyone for life post-education.Astridwww.astridkaniele.com

Absolutely loved this post! You have such an honest and beautiful way of writing. And yes, the photographs look amazing..... I still haven't made up my mind what I think about this whole education system really. I guess the big problem is to teach us all with one system. And oh my are we all so individualistic!Love,Finja | www.effcaa.com

Love the photos! You look amazing. I found the pressure of getting good grades at school to be immense too - the amount of times I lay awake unable to sleep and felt physically ill through my exams. They put so much pressure on you and it's just no healthy. I also don't understand why schools don't teach you more life skills, particularly when it comes to money and budgeting x

Hit the nail on the head with this one! Just the other day I was saying that I really wish taxes were taught in schools. And so nice to hear from a fellow 'drop out' of education ha! Keep chasing your dreaaaams girl xxx

Loved this post and totally agree with everything you've said! Looking back I enjoyed my education but have ended up doing something completely different to what I studied. I feel like it's the experiences that you take with you into the real world more so than the education!

Beautifully written as always Holly. And so bloody true too! I really think the education system in our country needs a total re-vamp and nothing points that out quite like being self-employed, when you essentially have to do 3-4 jobs all at once and teach yourself about tax and running a business. It's madness!

By the way, you look absolutely gorgeous. Your self-portraits are truly my favourite works of yours.

I absolutely loved this post! So, so important! I'm currently halfway through university and realized the reason I've been unhappy this whole while is because I'm not one for the whole "get a traditional education and get a traditional job" thing. So glad to hear you are much happier and are living life! Not to mention, these photos are stunning!

This post resonated with me. The amount of things I've gone through outside of school and not had a single clue about is too many to count. In school you feel like you have to be a sheep to fit in and that's how the teachers make you feel as well, I'm so glad leaving school taught me it's always okay to express myself. Also these are my favourite photos of you to date, you look amazing!! xx