Monday, December 15, 2008

I have been very blessed to have an easy time conceiving, pregnancy has been a breeze (don't get me wrong it is not comfortable all the time and there are pains but no concerns or health problems), and delivery is almost perfectly story book. I have had this experience several times. As I am getting to the end of this pregnancy I have been reflecting on the miracle of life. It is still so unbelievable to me that there is this precious little life growing inside of me. It is incomprehensible in so many ways. It is amazing how the body can take care of a growing human life, and the human life can change and grow so drastically in such a short time. It also surprises me how often I can not remember I am pregnant. I will forget that this big belly can "squeeze" at all any more. So often I forget how far it is out there and I bump in to people. My favorite is when I am sitting down with Lauren standing in front of me. Normally I would have plenty of room to stand up but now I stand up and hit her with my belly and she falls down. OOPS!

I can't wait to meet baby Jackson. To see who he will be and how his personality will fit in with our family. I used to give Logan a bad time for his emotional outbursts, the twins had their mischievousness time two, Lauren is so much more strongly opinionated then any of our children. There is no secret when she doesn't want what you offer. She can't talk but she let's you know in an effective way, usually it involves swinging arms and a loud noise. Miranda was not perfect but I had nothing to compare her to so it is hard to see the little quirks she had. All of our kids are special and have so many fun qualities. They are like their dad in that they LOVE music. They love to play in a big group, small group and even by themselves. I think that is a benefit to a large family. They all have options. They love to do craft projects, I will claim that as coming from me. Miranda loves to read, while Logan has an amazing number sense. Before kindergarten he was using the clock to do math. he came up with that on his own. It will be fun to see Haylie and Hannah with their educational strengths. Time goes by so fast.

Parenthood is truly a miracle and a blessing. I am not the best parent and I have so many faults and fail at so many things, but I love my kids and by some miracle they love me too. Heavenly Father knows what he is doing when creating these strong bonds. I know what I feel towards my kids is only a fraction of what He feels towards each of us. It is hard to comprehend. I am grateful for that love too.

On the same note of parenthood I have been thinking a lot about the Savior's birth. I have been thinking about Mary too. Since both my boys will be born in the near vicinity of Christmas, it helps to understand the sacrifice Mary made. When I had the twins a weird thought came to me. They were child #3 and #4. The nurses will give the spiel about not giving your child to anyone without a certain name tag. I couldn't help but think some one would look at my "abundant load" of children, and think since I had two at a time they can take one, or even giving one up for adoption. It almost brought tears thinking of giving up one of them. It was a ridiculous thought I know but then I think of Mary. She gave birth to her son and knew from before conception that she would be giving up her son. She had a few years that he needed her, but He would be so much more. There would come a time in His young life that she couldn't teach him anything, He would be teaching her. It makes me appreciate my boys even more. While I am aware that Christmas is not really near Jesus' real birthday, it is a great reminder.