Bio:

War stories? How bout I just buy you another drink, I think I’ll be much more impressive after that. You sure you want war stories? Sorry, don’t have any. My pop’s buddies who came back from the infantry in nam, they had war stories. The battles, the victories, the defeats, the shit-eating lieutenants straight out of some prep academy that just happened to die in an ‘accidental’ weapons discharge, heard those. Heard more hero stories about the boys the served with, men who died randomly in a patch of mud only for these geezers to put em on an eternal pedestal, or other broken geezers they had hauled through the war and had a bond with that wasn’t the least bit lessened by 20 years of not talking. Heard the most about the girls, the cheap ones there or the pure ones waiting patiently at home.

Those are the only ones my pop really got to tell, he got over there and served a tour fixing wiring and installing speakers in Saigon, never left the city once. Got drafted and the sonovabitch still found a way to cling to the bottom.

But I ain’t even got those stories. I lost who knows how many years of my life to that army, and don’t remember one single battle, couldn’t tell you hamburger hill from peewee’s playhouse. Don’t remember a single boy in my unit, but there’s a good shot that none of made it out of the war alive, let alone back here. Hell, there’s a good shot that they weren’t even real, or at least not people.

But the icing on the cake is that I had a wife and kids at home. I never forgot them, no matter how lost I got. Thought I could make it all mean somethin if I was fighting for them. When I finally got out, home I sprint, no kids to spit on me at the airport even. Come to find they didn’t even know I was gone, had another me there for em from day one. And from all i can learn, its the best thing that could’ve happened to them. I ain’t got a place there now, I know better than that. But, the thing impersonating me went down in a fire a couple years back and took one of my kids with him, and I don’t believe in luck or coincidences. If i found out what did it, I’ll end em. Fast.

But you don’t wanna hear about that, do ya? Nah, I ain’t got no war stories for you. But I do have one thing all those geezers had. The knowledge… no, deeper than that, like feeling but a better word that I can’t remember, ya know? Anyway, what I got is the knowing that for all the fighting I did, everything I lost, not one second of it meant a goddamn thing. But I got something those cranky old vets never had a shot at, I got something that makes me better than them. I’m no quitter. Even after I blew my knee out, even after this world and the real army kicked me in the ass, even after that flaming bitch drafted me for her pointless little pissing contest, I’m still a champion. And I’m not gonna stop my fighting til I make it mean something. So if you want war stories, stick around.

But in the meantime, I’m gonna get you that drink, you’re far to pretty to go thirsty.

“If he lives through this, I swear I’m gonna kill him for taking on this fucking suicide mission.” —Jess Xavier, The Drummer with a Degree

“He has such faith in his strength, and yes, it is great. Could maybe beat this old dog in a scrap, on a good day. But his strength will take him only so far in the tower. Sometimes you have to bow, before you have to strike.” —John Coyote, Bearer of the Iron Crown

“Lacks the courage to do what is necessary. But he will. He will.” —Baz, Maybe not a dream