I didn't want to put this in the parenting section bc it's something nonparents can easily have opinions about...

So my kids have been going to an in-home daycare provider/babysitter for the past year and a half. I was generally disatisfied with the quality of care so I was looking elsewhere but felt somewhat conflicted bc I had come to like the elderly woman who runs it. And in the past few months we've been having some disagreements regarding money and other issues that were starting to really put me off.

But very recently, things took a turn for the worse, and I made finding a new provider my top priority.

And as of yesterday, I just found one!

I want to pull my kids out imediately and give no notice. Tomorrow would be their last day and she would just get a phone call next week saying we won't be back.

I know that's a ishy thing to do but worry that w/ a week on her hands, she might be a tad retaliatory w/ me or passively-aggressively try to put ideas in my kids' minds.

It's like you don't argue w/ a server about your food before he/she serves it, right? Well, so shouldn't you leave your children w/ a daycare provider you have issues with?

Did you sign a contract to give 2 week notice? If yes, has she broken anything in that contract?

If you feel she will retaliate...I would definitely not put my kids back there after giving notice. Depending on the circumstances you might have to pay her the 2 weeks...while paying another provider.

Did you sign a contract to give 2 week notice? If yes, has she broken anything in that contract?

If you feel she will retaliate...I would definitely not put my kids back there after giving notice. Depending on the circumstances you might have to pay her the 2 weeks...while paying another provider.

Originally Posted by inheritedcurls

We signed nothing and I verbally committed to nothing, with regard to two weeks or any amount of notice. (She is an older woman who has been watching kids for 25 years and just really isn't business savvy.)

We may have informally discussed it way back when I interviewed her, but I honestly can't remember. I would never formally commit to such a thing bc when my children are involved, their wellbeing/my comfort level are paramount, not courtesy to the provider.

Recently, during one of our "arguments," she sensed that I was dissatisfied with her and told me that I am free to find another provider , but if I do, she would appreciate me giving her plenty of notice.

I didn't respond one way or another (bc I was biting my tongue LOL).

It's not like she would physically hurt my kids but she might say something to them like that I'm mean or that I'm only taking them away from her bc I didn't like what she said about xyz, or that whatever amount of notice I'm giving isn't sufficient in her opinion.

And it's not realistic to expect the new provider to hold my spots for longer than a week...or I would have to pay both prividers if it went longer than that, and that's certainly not my preference under these circumstances.

Does anyone think I am wrong if I give no notice?

I am very annoyed w/ her and am eager to start somewhere else asap. But I am not a horrible person and don't want to regret my behavior later on.

I didn't want to put this in the parenting section bc it's something nonparents can easily have opinions about...

So my kids have been going to an in-home daycare provider/babysitter for the past year and a half. I was generally disatisfied with the quality of care so I was looking elsewhere but felt somewhat conflicted bc I had come to like the elderly woman who runs it. And in the past few months we've been having some disagreements regarding money and other issues that were starting to really put me off.

But very recently, things took a turn for the worse, and I made finding a new provider my top priority.

And as of yesterday, I just found one!

I want to pull my kids out imediately and give no notice. Tomorrow would be their last day and she would just get a phone call next week saying we won't be back.

I know that's a ishy thing to do but worry that w/ a week on her hands, she might be a tad retaliatory w/ me or passively-aggressively try to put ideas in my kids' minds.

It's like you don't argue w/ a server about your food before he/she serves it, right? Well, so shouldn't you leave your children w/ a daycare provider you have issues with?

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

I'd pull them out immediately, but pay to the end of the pay period you would normally pay for (she should have had you sign that in the contract, but if she didn't, I'd do it anyway.) 2 weeks or so of notice seems reasonable, in the alternative. I wouldn't leave my kids in a situation not ideal for them, but I'd also be fair to the provider and avoid legal hassles. I'm sure she can find someone to fill the spot if she has reasonable time to advertise - day care is in such high demand.

I didn't want to put this in the parenting section bc it's something nonparents can easily have opinions about...

So my kids have been going to an in-home daycare provider/babysitter for the past year and a half. I was generally disatisfied with the quality of care so I was looking elsewhere but felt somewhat conflicted bc I had come to like the elderly woman who runs it. And in the past few months we've been having some disagreements regarding money and other issues that were starting to really put me off.

But very recently, things took a turn for the worse, and I made finding a new provider my top priority.

And as of yesterday, I just found one!

I want to pull my kids out imediately and give no notice. Tomorrow would be their last day and she would just get a phone call next week saying we won't be back.

I know that's a ishy thing to do but worry that w/ a week on her hands, she might be a tad retaliatory w/ me or passively-aggressively try to put ideas in my kids' minds.

It's like you don't argue w/ a server about your food before he/she serves it, right? Well, so shouldn't you leave your children w/ a daycare provider you have issues with?

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

I'd pull them out immediately, but pay to the end of the pay period you would normally pay for (she should have had you sign that in the contract, but if she didn't, I'd do it anyway.) 2 weeks or so of notice seems reasonable, in the alternative. I wouldn't leave my kids in a situation not ideal for them, but I'd also be fair to the provider and avoid legal hassles. I'm sure she can find someone to fill the spot if she has reasonable time to advertise - day care is in such high demand.

Originally Posted by Amneris

There was no contract at all, written or verbal.

I pay her by check every Friday morning for the week that just passed.

I never agreed to any specific amount of notice.

She's old and told me that when my kids leave she will not be taking any more kids (the just lost her other two about a month ago bc they moved.)

So you wold pay her for an additional week, even if I started my kids at the new place Monday?

Maybe you're right (trying to get a concensus on this) but in a way, I feel like I would be rewarding her very poor quality of care, if I do that. But maybe that's the wrong way to feel?

Personally, I would pay her for the week in lieu of not giving her notice, even if there wasn't any kind of contract discussed or signed, and would probably tell her that. "In lieu of my giving you a notice, I will pay for the week of ____ even though my children will no longer be attending..." or something like that.

I would also put something in writing that you two never had an agreement or contract. This is more just to cover your butt, in case she ever decided to take further action. I'd do it via email and also CC yourself.

If you feel a closeness to her...feel like you will be updating her with kids progress etc. even after you leave...or to just to have a free mind.... then offer her 1 week of pay.

Otherwise, give your notice on Friday and offer no extra pay. She obviously knows that you are unhappy...maybe she is realizing it is time to stop watching kids since she is not replacing those she lost.

If you are dissatisfied with the care and you made up your mind they are going somewhere new on Monday....I would tell her tomorrow( Friday in the morning, when I drop them off). I wouldn't wait until Monday to tell her. You won't be there anyway and it is just the least you can do.
Waiting for Monday to tell her it's a bit sticking it to her and there is just not polite to do.
I probably wouldn't pay her ,but that is just me. Especially if there is no agreement.

I didn't want to put this in the parenting section bc it's something nonparents can easily have opinions about...

So my kids have been going to an in-home daycare provider/babysitter for the past year and a half. I was generally disatisfied with the quality of care so I was looking elsewhere but felt somewhat conflicted bc I had come to like the elderly woman who runs it. And in the past few months we've been having some disagreements regarding money and other issues that were starting to really put me off.

But very recently, things took a turn for the worse, and I made finding a new provider my top priority.

And as of yesterday, I just found one!

I want to pull my kids out imediately and give no notice. Tomorrow would be their last day and she would just get a phone call next week saying we won't be back.

I know that's a ishy thing to do but worry that w/ a week on her hands, she might be a tad retaliatory w/ me or passively-aggressively try to put ideas in my kids' minds.

It's like you don't argue w/ a server about your food before he/she serves it, right? Well, so shouldn't you leave your children w/ a daycare provider you have issues with?

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

I'd pull them out immediately, but pay to the end of the pay period you would normally pay for (she should have had you sign that in the contract, but if she didn't, I'd do it anyway.) 2 weeks or so of notice seems reasonable, in the alternative. I wouldn't leave my kids in a situation not ideal for them, but I'd also be fair to the provider and avoid legal hassles. I'm sure she can find someone to fill the spot if she has reasonable time to advertise - day care is in such high demand.

Originally Posted by Amneris

There was no contract at all, written or verbal.

I pay her by check every Friday morning for the week that just passed.

I never agreed to any specific amount of notice.

She's old and told me that when my kids leave she will not be taking any more kids (the just lost her other two about a month ago bc they moved.)

So you wold pay her for an additional week, even if I started my kids at the new place Monday?

Maybe you're right (trying to get a concensus on this) but in a way, I feel like I would be rewarding her very poor quality of care, if I do that. But maybe that's the wrong way to feel?

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Given those facts, I'd probably just tell her ASAP and then put it in writing.

Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali

Is the quality of the care really bad because she isn't a good childcare provider or do you think most/all of it has to do with her age? I ask because since your kids will be her last, maybe she realizes that it's time for her to stop working and she's just holding out until you decide to leave.

Obviously I don't know what's going on between the two of you, just a thought. To me, it sounds like your leaving her will be the best for everyone involved (especially the kids!).

Paying for an extra week? Idk. For me, it would all depend on what transpired between the both of you. As long as she didn't mistreat your kids or completely disregard your requests...I'd probably do it.

I think you should give her a week's pay in lieu of notice, and give it to her Friday afternoon when you pick them up, don't wait until Monday. I don't know the nature of your disagreements with her, but a little notice really is the right thing to do.

If I was that upset, I'd pull my kids and I wouldn't pay her anything more than what I owed. I'm not a parent but I think if someone upset me that much in regards to my kiddos... I'd probably be less nice than I'd be if we were just moving.

I think I'd pay a week in lieu of notice, even if I didn't really want to. Pay her the extra with your usual payment and just apologise for the lack of notice and say unfortunately that's just the way it's worked out.