To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing.

Jan 10/11 - Days 71 & 72 – 1030 Words

Beginning of another writing week on the Irony 3 Novel Train. I often acknowledge the end of a writing week, but rarely the beginning.“The end of a writing week is the beginning of a writing week.”*hits mute button*

Anyway, like I was saying, the beginning of another writing week and I am hanging in like a trooper. Week 11, I believe. Let’s see, what to say? Hmm, well, I advanced the story and my MC is undercover. At the moment he is talking to a gangster type and his henchman, and trying to do what UC’s do - Gain the trust of the bad guys to lead him to some other bad guys, and then wrap them up all up in a nice bad guy bow. It was semi-easy writing these past two days, as I am still letting things breathe and seeing where they lead.

My definition of semi-easy is staring at the blinking cursor while it is mocking me. After a while, I say, “I’ll show you!” And then I type some words. Following the completion of a sentence, or a series of them, he comes back with, “Is that all you got? I see more action during shutdown.”“Oh, yeah?” I say, and then hit him up some more. This goes on for a while, with the stare downs varying in length, until I reach 500 words.

There you go. Now, you might as well be in the room with me when I am writing. Honestly, though, I think the best thing I can do for now, and the immediate future, is to keep my nose to the grindstone and harangue out of the cursor my 500 words a day. Sometimes I think about it, as I have typed here before, and it doesn’t sound like much. But, if I tunnel vision my 500 every day, one day I will look up and there will be a finished novel staring back at me. Happy writing people.

See calendar on Contact page for blurb.

Jan 12/13 – Days 73 & 74 – 1012 Words

It definitely ain’t easy being cheesy. For those of you who don’t go back that far, it is my way of saying that writing is hard work. Scratch that, writing is easy, like this writing I am doing now? Just typing what pops in my mind? Nothing to it but banging keys to my thoughts. I pause every now and then to phrase something a certain way, but, for the most part, you are getting it pure and uncut straight from my crazy head. Novel writing? Now, that is the cheesy part.

For a moment let’s forget how hard it is to write a good story, pulling fragmented parts together through the book and by the end wrapping them up in whatever kind of bow you had planned. Neat, messy, hero dies, girl dies, hero gets girl and none of them die, whatever. Just throw that right out of your head. Put in it, instead, stuff like ‘He said.’ ‘She said.’ He blurted. She voiced. He said, sternly; as opposed to he said, pointedly; and let’s not even mention him saying it roughly, grimly, or bitterly.

Then there is knowing when to not say anything about what anybody said. Too many he said’s or she said’s, or even naming them as they say it, just messes up the flow of the book. Then there is people touching each other for whatever purposes, giving looks conveying how they are feeling, reactions to things said - like mouth agape and wide eyed - and then doing all of this while keeping your characters in character with who they are, and then at the same time trying to make the third book in a series sound fresh, so the readers won’t think you are just writing a copy. Which means you can rehash stuff, but can’t go into 5000 word synopsis’ of previous books in the middle of the current one, and blah blah blah, and on and on and on and--“Are you okay?”No, I am not okay, I said. Oh, man, now I have to rub the tension showing in my forehead. And then--“Um, maybe time for a break?”Break?! Break?! Who has time for a break, I said, anxiously, the summer deadline for my novel looming heavily on my mind.“I think--” Think?! Think?! I thought, considered, determined, conceived, envisioned and figured that I had no time to think.“I see. Hold still for a minute.”“Yes! Yes! Go get the stick. Hit we with the danged stick, please, I’m beggin you! Adjectives, adverbs, pronouns, synonyms, antonyms, homonyms and tyrannosaurus rexanyms! Yes! Yes! Thank you! Hit me, please, and hard!“It’s better if you don’t see it coming. Besides, you haven’t commented on the writing days."Oh, yeah, well, they were average days. I mean, there is always this time in a novel when the writing becomes laborious, and you wonder if you will ever finish. And even if you do, how good will it be? It comes and goes, but if you stay to the course, in the end, everything will work out. I have experienced it, so I know it is true. Hey? You know what? I am starting to feel bett--OWWW!!“Happy writing people.”

See calendar on Contact page for blurbs.

Jan 14/15 – Days 75 & 76 – 939 Words

Let’s just get it out of the way right up front, before Red Guy has a fit about it. The count for Day 75 was 555. (For those interested in where this 555 thing began, see Week3/Day 18) Now, the reason I don’t think it is a big deal anymore (not that it ever was) is because I am goal-set at 500 words now. In light of that, I will probably have numerous repeat number days from here on in. I have had a few others that did not center on 555, and made no mention of them. However, I will say it is always interesting when I highlight the count at the end of the writing day and see that number. Okay? Okay? Done and done.‘I don’t like you.”Loser says what?“What?”Yep.

Okay, so, what to say about the last two writing days? I mean, other than one of them falling on the number 555. Geez, I really do feel like I am in the Jim Carrey movie, 23.“At least he was smart enough to pay attention to the number.”Oh, yeah? And where did that get him?“Good point.”

Okay—Oh, right, one of the days (the not 555 one) fell on 384 words. What happened, you ask? Why didn’t I get to 500 on Day 76? Tired? Long night? Meh, I wouldn’t say that, although I was a bit worn. It was just a case of EOC. Since no one but me knows what that means, since I just decided to acronym it for no apparent reason, I will just say it was a case of me coming to the end of a chapter. (Week 2 Day 8) Additionally, I was a little fuzzy on how to begin the new chapter. (14) There was no continuation going on from the previous chapter and I was jumping forward from one place and time to another. So, I was sitting there, a little worn and thought – 'Why not just begin fresh the next day.’ Which, of course, gave me time to hash out how I wanted to begin and where I was going with it, shaping it to the story line I had planned. And there you go, the story behind the missing words on the day after the 555 day.

The book is coming along, the Irony 3 Novel Train is still on the rails, and I am 939 words closer to my destination of ‘The End.’ Thanks for riding with me this far. Hope you have enjoyed the scenery and plan to stick around for the long haul. Happy writing people.

See calendar on Contact page for blurbs.

Jan. 16 – Day 77 – 530 Words

January 16th, Day 77, end of writing week 11, and another day riding the rails of the Irony 3 Novel Train. Today’s effort was smooth, I would say. I would say it, if I could. It was like pulling teeth from the mouth of an unrestrained crocodile. What’s that? You don’t think it is possible to pull teeth from the mouth of an unrestrained crocodile without losing an arm? Well, now you know how writing day 77 went.

Okay, so, maybe I am exaggerating just a little, and it was only like pulling teeth from a static-charged comb. Still, there was some teeth pulling going on and I had to do the extracting. End result? I Dined on a 500 word meal with a little 30 weight gravy. Know what that makes me? As happy as light in a shroud. Get it? Light in a—Okay, then, what else is there? Oh, happy belated birthday to Martin Luther King Jr., born on the 15th of January in 1929. Wow, 1929. Does anyone know if that is a real year, or are they just telling us that?

All joking aside, the man, as well as a host of others, deserves recognition for the stand he took to better our society. Heck, I have a quote from him on my contact page, so, yeah, there you go, what I think of him is pretty much out there. Incidentally, I may not make mention of others in the months to come who were just as instrumental, if not as renown, in the civil rights struggle. It does not mean that I consider their contributions less significant. It just means, for my own reasons, Mr. King holds a special place in my spirit. That said, it is time for my weekly week’s end Jam. Not to be confused with me jamming on the weekends.“Oh brother.”Yeah, yeah, beat it, Red Head. Where was I? Oh, the weekly week’s end ham. Um, and jam too. :) Just decided to add to it instead of fix the ham.“Ham fixings? Where? I’m starving.”Without further Ado, I give you Alanis Morissette’s Hand In My Pocket. Happy writing people.