Anger: “No. Really? You call this a music video plotline? Jason Alexander as Bud, the Forever Alone Latte Dude, whose manliness is challenged by a motorcycle-riding latte foam artist? And then Brooke Burns writhes around in coffee beans, in a nod to ‘American Beauty’ that comes 13 years too late? And the whole thing is set to the gravelly-voiced princes of mediocrity, Nickelback? No. Also, the goatee.”

Bargaining: “This is a joke, right? Nickelback is totally in on this joke. They’re making a video so lame that we will all make fun of it for being lame, and then they’ll reveal themselves to have been playing a trick on us all along. If they are that self-aware, I’ll never make another Nickelback joke again. No one will. Please let this be a joke.”

Depression: “There are still Nickelback fans in this world, and they are probably really excited about this song. And there is no self-awareness here, no jokes that anyone is in on. This video is actually happening, and it’s even worse than it looks.”

Acceptance: “Well, at least the toupee looks good on Jason Alexander.”