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Saturday, March 3, 2012

Sufficient Grace

So, as it usually goes, it's been a long and winding path, with bits and pieces collected along the way, that somehow become a whole, complete thought.... and a lesson for me.

It began mid-February. I had noticed a tattoo in a picture (it's an occupational hazard after so many years working in trauma!) - it seemed to say "... the greatest of these is love", which - "coincidentally" - had most recently been a status of mine on Facebook. It turns out my hunch was correct, it was indeed 1 Corinthians 13:13. I thought at the time "Literally, writing love on his arm" - a reference in my mind to the non-profit movement I'd heard about a few years ago, "To Write Love on Her Arms".

Today, I checked out their website. One of the links I found was promoting a new initiative coming soon, Fears vs. Dreams, which asks two very interesting questions: "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your greatest dream?" I was surprised (and actually appalled) that I couldn't immediately answer either one.

As it often happens, the car is the place where He sits quietly with me and teaches. I sat in silence and began my drive home.

My greatest fear.... hmmmmm.... (Do I actually have to *speak* it?)

I thought for a while, with different potential answers coming to mind.... "no, not that..." But, I began to notice the pattern that was emerging, and the theme: Being "enough"....which, of course, for those of you who know me, means so much more than simply "enough"...

I shook my head silently.... "well, if that's all it is...." Really? My greatest fear is not being "enough"?

Problem solved. (Seriously!)

I will NEVER be "enough".

Never.

Not this side of Heaven.

And if that's all it is, there's no longer a need to fear it - I already know it.

If only it were that easy.

But..., what I also know is that He is.

He is the "enough" that I want to be.

I think of all the ways I have tried to be "enough".... and all the ways I've tried to deal with the fact that I am not.

As I continue on, I "hear" Him say "My grace is sufficient for you....."

The tears spill from my eyes, as I think to myself, "Hold me, Jesus..."

And then a grin starts to form, as the rest of the verse comes to mind....

"...for [Your] power is made perfect in [my] weakness".

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my
weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.