Throne away from home: Members-only bathrooms coming to NYC

Because nothing can ruin your fabulous day out in the big city like heavy shopping bags and a full bladder, Manhattan will be getting its first 'luxury bathroom and private day storage' facility this summer.

This June, a startup company named Posh Stow & Go plans to unveil the first of several planned “luxury bathroom facilities” in Midtown Manhattan. The honor of using these squeaky-clean, soundproof lavs can be gained via an annual membership fee of $15 along with the purchase of packaging plans that start at $6 per visit and are available in three, seven, or 10-day increments. Essentially, this is Zipcar of, ahem, powdering your nose.

Geared primarily toward skittish and/or potty-shy tourists but also available to harried commuters on heavy fiber diets and those with impatient bladders and temperamental colons, there is indeed a “stow” aspect to the new venture that “aims to be the one-and-only, must-have service when taking a bite of The Big Apple.” The facilities will include private lockers along with secured storage rooms for the unloading of oversized parcels too cumbersome to schlep around all day on “NYC’s riveting streets.”

But on the topic of unloading cumbersome parcels, it’s the “go” aspect of these private stash-and-pee clubs where things get interesting. Each location will include a handful of “high-end” private restrooms that, as mentioned, are soundproofed for privacy and “immaculately cleaned and sanitized” by a staff member after each visit. They'll also boast motion-sensor faucets and toilet flushers, powerful hand-dryers, and charging stations so that you can power up your smartphone while seeing a man about a horse.

One in every five rooms will include a shower — some ADA compliant — for more thorough freshening up. Baby-changing stations will also be available. And on that note, as the company expands, private lounges for nursing mothers will also be among the amenities.

It’s unclear at this point if these classy comfort stations will be 24/7 type of joints or only open during peak poop and pee hours. And one would assume that with each paid visit, there isn’t a clock running so that you can go about your business at leisure, sit around for a while, read a magazine, relax.

Drop-in visits are verboten if you’re not an annual member enrolled in a package plan. So if you experience emergency-level rumblings after scarfing one too many Activia yogurts before leaving your house — or hotel room — and aren't already a member, you’re, well, you-know-what out of luck. Children under 18 can access the facilities for free provided that they are accompanied by an adult membership holder.

Inaugural Posh Stow & Go location will in proximity to Grand Central and Penn stations with future locations to open in Lower Manhattan.

If access to a private commode club isn't in your budget, there's always ToiletCity and several other bathroom-locating apps for when nature calls, whispers, yodels or screams. You may not get the best results, but, hey, it's better than the alternative.