NHL free agency opens on Friday, and until then, we’ve got some time to ponder what might happen… and to ponder the universe as well. Seems like a perfect time for another installment of the #AskSpector Tweetbag.

As always, this would be impossible without the help of you, the readers, and your questions. So, thank you. Once again, you have not disappointed, and once again, I hope I can say the same.

@Nrizzo28 asks: “other than briere who they are interested in, what other free agents would fit on first line wing with JT?”

Well, if the Islanders do sign Danny Briere, which I think is the best place for him to go, it would make more sense to have him center the second line and slide Frans Nielsen to the third line, where his defensive skills could be better deployed. As for who should play the wing alongside John Tavares and Matt Moulson, a spot occupied the past two seasons by P.A. Parenteau and Brad Boyes, re-signing Boyes would be a fine solution, but the Islanders also would do well to check in on Damien Brunner and Michael Ryder.

@RunsWithHawks asks: “when is the NHL going to announce the names of the new conferences?”

I hope never, because I want to keep calling them PatrickPlus, Flortheast, Conference III, and The Other One. Stick taps to Sarah Connors of Stanley Cup of Chowder and J.R. Lind of III Communication for Flortheast and Conference III, respectively, of course.

Doesn’t the #SensArmy pretty much wish for Daniel Alfredsson to return? Isn’t that it? (Ed. note: "Probably not.") More importantly, where does all this “Army” stuff come from, anyway? The Devils call their fans “Devils Army,” and park an old army truck outside their arena in Newark. What happens when the Sens Army duels with Leafs Nation? Does Leafs Nation have a standing army, or are they the Switzerland of the NHL? And why isn’t there a Ducks Air Force or an Islanders Coast Guard?

@StephenFotiu asks: “pancakes or waffles?”

Waffles. On a Belgian waffle, each individual waffle pocket makes for its own compartment for an individual piece of fruit, or a bit of syrup, or nuts, or whatever. The grid system also allows you to eat more systematically. Eggos are perfect for Nutella in a way that pancakes just never could hope to be. From a hockey standpoint, waffles have been a symbol of peaceful protest in Toronto, while pancakes have led to Dustin Penner missing a game. It’s no contest. (Ed. note: 82 words about food)

@Montroyalagent asks: “What are the odds Miller finishes year in Buffalo?”

Even if the Sabres hold on to Ryan Miller through the summer and start the season with him, there’s a decent chance that they’re not going to be a playoff team in 2013-14 considering that the Flortheast contains five playoff teams from 2013: Boston, Detroit, Montreal, Ottawa, and Toronto. Of those teams, I could see the Canadiens or Maple Leafs slipping enough to fall out of the playoffs, but that still would force Buffalo to be better than Florida and Tampa Bay, who both figure to improve some. (Granted, it’s early, and a lot could change, but if we’re talking about setting odds in July, this is what we’re working with.) If the Sabres are on their way to not making the playoffs, the best thing they can do is trade Miller at the deadline—remember the haul that Darcy Regier got for Jason Pominville—and play Jhonas Enroth down the stretch to see if he’s got what it takes to be the starter of the future. I’d call it about two chances in three that Miller doesn’t finish next season in Buffalo.

@jenconnic asks: “How many hot dogs do you think the Coney island winner will stuff his face with this year?”

Joey Chestnut has won six hot dog contests in a row, eating 66, 59, 68, 54, 62, and 68. It’s supposed to be 93 degrees for a high temperature in Brooklyn, with high humidity, and you might think that would hamper extreme hot dog eating because of simple exhaustion, but the high last year was 95, also with high humidity, and Chestnut went for a record-tying 68. They say that the seventh hot dog contest is the toughest to win (actually, maybe they do, as Chestnut has won six straight following a run of six by Takeru Kobayashi), so it could be a challenge. I think 63 takes the crown. (Ed. note: 192 words about food)

@PantzNHL asks: “What’s next for Flyers? They still need another D and G. Anything brewin’?”

The Flyers have needed defensive help and a goaltender, and their big move was to sign Vincent Lecavalier, so who knows what’s next? They seem to really like Steve Mason in goal, against the better judgment of almost everyone else who has watched him play over the last five years, but even if they’re not going to go after a starting goalie, they need to have at least one other netminder on the roster. I think Anton Khudobin would be a great fit, so he’ll probably wind up elsewhere. On defense, Philadelphia has six players with cap hits of $3.5 million or more, not including Chris Pronger and his eventual trip to long-term injured reserve—unless one of those blueliners is traded to free cap space, what you see might be what you get. As for what’s brewin’, have you tried Wawa’s iced tea? It’s fantastic. (Ed. note: Sheetz is better.)

@coreypronman asks: “how much would could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”

I’m a city boy. I’ve never seen a woodchuck. You might have better luck asking Sally. She sells seashells by the seashore.

@SeanDeveney asks: “Where is Dwight Howard going?”

Probably the Flyers. They just can’t get enough centers, for some reason.

@IshaTheBoss asks: “best poutine place?”

Most of my memories of poutine in Montreal are drenched in beer, and a lot of them kind of blend together, but one plate of poutine I had stands out—it was at Chez Ti-Polo, a roadside greasy spoon on the way between Montreal and Burlington, Vermont, in Henryville, Quebec. I can still taste it now. (Ed. note: 248 words about food.)

@jobiegirl6 asks: “If the zombie apocalypse was now, which NHL team would have the best chance of surviving?”

I’d like the Vancouver Canucks’ chances. There are possible escape routes to the water and to the mountains, and although the population density in Vancouver is high, there’s not a ton of terrain for zombies to get on the loose or for the team to get separated from one another. You also can’t discount David Booth’s hunting acumen when it comes time to go into survivalist mode.

@NotoriousJud asks: “do you think the NHL will expand in the near future?”

Depends what you mean by “near future.” I think the smart thing for the NHL to do is wait to see what happens in Arizona, and if the Coyotes wind up using that escape clause in five years to leave Glendale. If things work out in the desert, the two cities best suited to have grabbed a relocated Coyotes team—Seattle and Quebec—would make the most logical destinations for expansion. That would bring the league to 32 franchises and four divisions of eight teams each, which is really where it should be heading anyway. If the Coyotes move to Seattle or Quebec, then you’re looking for another market (Southern Ontario? Kansas City?) for expansion. Owners like getting money, and expansion fees are a pretty sweet way to do it, so I have a hard time seeing the NHL set at 30 teams for the super-long term, especially given the inherent competitive imbalance of the new alignment that leaves the NHLPA less than thrilled.

@ngreenberg asks: “Can the Flyers find money to save Google Reader and restore it to the masses?”

If they can find the money to sign Lecavalier, I don’t see why not. I’m not sure that it’s a priority for Ed Snider, though.

The Rangers have 17 players under contract for cap hits totaling $50.9 million. That leaves $14.4 million to re-sign restricted free agents Justin Falk, Carl Hagelin, Ryan McDonagh, Derek Stepan, and Mats Zuccarello, and room for one more player on the roster after that. The decision not to buy out Brad Richards signaled an intention to have a mostly quiet summer.

@Jacob_Born asks: “If you had to go against one Vet in an elimination Challenge, who would you choose?”

I’ll choose from the cast of the MTV Challenge season that starts next week and say Preston, because I’ve never seen him compete with any kind of an edge. Mostly, just keep me away from CT, and I think I could at least walk away uninjured. (Ed. note: Calling CT.)

@MNovak88 asks: “Why is ketchup a totally unacceptable condiment for use on hot dogs?”

Who says it is? I like ketchup just fine. Mustard is No. 1, but one of the best hot dogs I’ve ever had was in the press box in Montreal, when Rangers goaltending coach Benoit Allaire was next to me in line and told me to eat it “the Quebec way” with ketchup and mayonnaise. I never would have thought it would work, but it was stupendous. (Ed. note: 315 words about food.)

@DSF456 asks: “How do you expect Everton will fare with new manager Roberto Martinez?”

I think they’ll be fun to watch and ultimately successful, although it may take some time to adjust to a new style at the start—not that Everton fans would be unaccustomed to a slow start after the David Moyes era. I loved watching Martinez’s teams at Wigan, and look forward to seeing what he can do with an actual budget that includes money for players.

@dhm asks: “If hockey players are supposed to be so tough, why are they all so scared of the Philadelphia media?”

Hockey players will play through cracked ribs, torn cartilage, separated shoulders, and punctured lungs—sometimes all at the same time—but they have feelings! I don’t know what it is about Philadelphia, but when things go sour there, they really go sour. On the other hand, you can be Briere and basically have the media throw you a parade on the way out of town, even without having won anything. So there’s that.

@ihaveoreos asks: “if hypothetically one was in possession of an unlit mup, how much trouble would they be in? if said mup were lit?”

All mups should have been lit during the playoffs, as we were constantly exhorted to do via NBC’s Emergency Mup System. Anyone hoarding unlit mups does so at their own risk. Mups are dangerous. They result in people screaming “I’M ON FIRE!”

@jtannenwald asks: “What is a mup and why are people so eager to light them?”

@HEELVin asks: “Should Vince McMahon buy the Yotes and bring back Sean Avery as a super heel that disparages the city of Glendale?”

I think the city of Glendale has done a fine job of disparaging itself throughout this process.

@aclyen asks: “Think the hawks can keep Rozsival? And where do you think Stalberg goes?”

I think that if the Blackhawks want to keep Michal Rozsival, and he wants to stay, they should be able to work out a deal. He’s a good fit as a depth defenseman on a contending team, as he showed this year, and I doubt he’d be looking for a huge salary, just more chances to win. As for Viktor Stalberg, I have no idea where he’ll wind up, but he’d look good in Dallas providing speed and a little scoring pop on the third line. He was just outside my Top 25 free agents when I wrote about the ideal destinations for each—in fact, he was No. 27 on the list.

@will_crist asks: “Why wasn’t Gary Bettman ever able to develop the same level of swag that David Stern has?”

I think it goes back to the beginning of Stern’s tenure as NBA commissioner, when he had one of the goofiest mustaches in the history of professional sports—and managed to pull it off. I can’t believe that nobody has ever suggested to Bettman that he grow a playoff beard and hand out the Stanley Cup with two months’ of growth on his face. Even if it was awful, he’d show a level of self-deprecating humor that would humanize him a lot more.