What’s in a Mafia nickname?

The recent arrests of more than 100 mobsters on the East Coast on Jan. 20 also proves that when it comes to bestowing nicknames, no one is better at it than the Mafia.

Charita Goshay

Let me preface what I’m about to say by stating the obvious: People involved in organized crime aren’t heroes, patriots or role models. They’re thugs and killers who feed off the weak, the vulnerable and, yes, the greedy. They cost all of us money when they infiltrate unions, businesses and industry.

But the recent arrests of more than 100 mobsters on the East Coast on Jan. 20 also proves that when it comes to bestowing nicknames, no one is better at it than the Mafia.

Those pinched include “Vinny Car Wash,” “Johnny Pizza” and “Tony Bagels” –– “Frankie One-Thumb” must have been away on business.

Anyone who knows me even a little knows that my favorite film is “The Godfather.” It’s one of the greatest films ever made, hands down, end of sentence, new paragraph.

The appeal for me is that it’s a story of a family — and, OK, the idea of absolute power, unlimited wealth and impeccable style.

Unlike real mobsters, Michael Corleone would rather have been shot dead in Louie’s Restaurant than be seen in a velour tracksuit.

Glossing over truth

However, “The Godfather” was a bait-and-switch for a generation of Mafia wannabes because it romanticizes the very real truth about the dead-end life of a gangster.

Still, Americans are fascinated by mobsters, and have been since the days of Al “Scarface” Capone, who was as popular as baseball and still is the subject of fascination 70 years after his death.

Whenever we watch Mafia movies, we often find ourselves rooting for people who deserve our contempt, instead of those who are trying to protect us.

Why do we side with Goodfellas? This doesn’t happen with car thieves and burglars. We love to watch them get perp-walked on “COPS.” Yet we made a rock star of John Gotti, and even “The Simpsons” features a character named “Fat Tony.”

Better we don’t know

The Mafia arrests made a splash because there’s something about that life, and the people in it, that both fascinates and scares us. It’s a subculture we think we know because of movies, but we don’t, and it’s probably for the best. There’s no honor among such men.

“The Godfather” is as perfect a movie as there is, but it isn’t reality, and frankly, it comes up short in the nickname department. Just ask “Matty the Horse” and “Good-Looking Sal.”