Swimming ‘sustificates’ & other mispronunciations

I am smiling. For two very good reasons.
1. My littlest Little Man has just received his very first award for swimming. 5 whole metres. Get in there, son!
2. As I collected his award I had one of those moments of sweet recollection from my own childhood that I was unable to pronounce the word ‘certificate’ and so the term ‘sustificate’ was born.

The suscertificate comes with a badge and we could not be more proud if it were Olympic Gold.

The mispronunciation is one of many ‘isms’ in my family, borne out of childhood naïveté, which has endured for two generations and counting, and of which I am equally proud.

In littlest Little Man’s short 4-and-3-quarter years, he has so far accumulated this impressive list of Awards:-

a Kung Fu white belt

a Special Mention in school assembly

bringing home the special Teddy Bear for the weekend from dance class

a variety of stickers for being a good boy – dentist, nursery etc.

He is a big achiever and awesome to boot.

The family mispronunciations also come in multiples…

Father Christmas is now referred to as Farmer Christmas – much better, don’t you think?

‘University’ sounded much more intellectual when it was mistakenly referred to as ‘Usiversity’, so we stuck with it

A game of marbles was always ‘Marleys’ when my brother and I could still spend an hour on our knees without sever pain