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Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Define me

"Insecurity." That's what my friend, Rubina, told me when I started to blabber about the beauty of these women I know. I've been watching Buzzfeed videos about beauty. The problem is the definition of beauty changes, depending on the era. Another problem is that, beauty is not one point of view. You have to look at the hair, the eyes, the nose, the skin, the lips, the height, the weight, even the bones. Say that there's one definition of beauty, created by a society. And then another society from a far away nation made one, and so did the other societies living in this planet. So how can we ever define beauty, when taste, opinion, eyes, are seeing different things everyday? How can we ever define beauty when it's changing?

No, I'm not going to be miserable, talking about inner-beauty, how people feel awesome being nice and proud being ugly.

This is the video that shows how women's Ideal body types evolve. Even what you call "fatass" these days, was once beauty queen in 1400 - 1700 C. Yup.

I'm trying hard to define my own beauty as I've been struggling how to dress these days. Like, of course, sure, I want to dress like those models, being all Chanel and Burberry and Jimmy Choo and Wang. But in the other side, I want to dress like a nobody, wearing t-shirt and jeans, and my favorite oxford shoes. Which one do I like better? Of course I'd rather to wear t-shirts and jeans, because they're comfy, and I look pretty cool in it. But the problem is, I don't get people's confession, telling me that I'm beautiful.

See, the point is, C O N F E S S I O N. Let's see, there are people who I don't find attractive at all, for example, Lil Wayne. No offense, but personally, in my opinion, I don't find him attractive. But there are people, who find him very attractive, like a sex bomb.

As a Homo Socius, yes, we all need people to keep us company, to gain their confessions, and stuff. But as an individual, can't you make yourself happy without, knowing what others think? "are you an individual or a clone?", this man asked me that when I wanted to buy an I-phone because it was trending back then (My aunt eventually bought me an I-phone, so.. Maybe I might be a clone, when talking about gadgets). Human is the most complex organism ever created, because we need so many many things to stay alive. Some need fame, some need power, some need money. Whenever I think about it, I find an individual living inside me, telling me that, you basically a mammal, that's somehow way too smart, and you just need a goddamn food to live, maybe oxygen.

Back to the confession talk, do we need a confession from others? Doing diets, plastic surgery, adding botox, wasting million dollars to get a goddamned confession? Just to get a confession from people, when they basically don't mean the confession itself. Why would you waste tons of time and money and energy to create such a simple confession "You're beautiful". Why not confessing it yourself, and be a confident bitch?

Still, be healthy, and praise your life. There's no one who can define your beauty, there's no enough people who can define your beauty, except yourself.