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OUR TROPHY WAS STOLEN!

Can you believe that someone would stoop so low as to kidnap such a beautiful trophy from such a wonderful team? I think that someone should contact the authorities about this. Not me, just because I don’t need to attract any more attention to myself, but someone sure should. These brazen bastards mustn’t get away with this sort of thing.

They even had the balls to post photos that we are still trying to understand. We know that J-Roc…

She may look like a lot of fun, but don’t let the look fool you. She’s dangerous.

…is the mastermind, but we don’t know how many minions and lackies she has in her web of treachery. This is the first hostage photo that was received. We think that it is a threat to push our trophy off the ledge. Who would do such a thing?

It’s plain to see that we are dealing with psychotic people here.

The next day we received another photo, that is even more disturbing than the first.

I am shaking so bad as I look at this. That’s our baby.

I’m sorry that I had to be a Debbie Downer today, because I know I promised you the rest of the photos from the dance, and they’re coming, I just needed to get this out there. We need to let these bastards know that we don’t deal with emotional terrorists. If there is anyone that can help us get E back, please contact me or any of the other Cats. We aren’t offering a reward, but we will get you drunk, and you will receive a free season pass to next year’s games at the Castleton Sports Fields.

Alright, now we can get back to business.

This is Swiper. He is not impressed with the photographer. She had better work her charms.

Oh, she’s good. He’s almost smiling.

Just trying to figure out what Bodyrocker is doing to Dancing Queen. Hopefully not trying to keep her from dancing.

I am fucking outraged! You give me the word and I will come up there with a bunch of gas and burn everyone’s house to the fucking ground. Everyone’s. I don’t have time to dick around with things like who is innocent and who isn’t. You guys will have to figure that for yourself afterwards. I can’t do everything for you, you know. Geez.