react:

I know Maitland Ward from being on The Bold and The Beautiful a whopping 20 years ago, but she also apparently starred in Boy Meets World – which I never watched, because I chose my Savage, and it was Fred. Many of you, however, will only know her as The High Priestess of Underboob And Chief Executive Crotchicer of No:

react:

Right now, Jaimie Alexander should be composing a thank-you note that reads, “Dear Paris: I didn’t think anything could make my naked dress seem less bad, but you really stepped up and achieved the impossible. You are the Albert Einstein of tacky. Love, Jaimie.”

Whatever is happening on her pelvic bone is weird — it LOOKS blurred, but these photo services don’t do that (and many of them prefer MORE salacious to LESS, anyway), so I’m guessing it’s the light bouncing strangely off whatever mesh is there, but it’s drawing a huge amount of attention to The Bernude-a Triangle and I wish it would stop.

But since we’re there: Let’s decide which view is more horrifying. This one, or the one from the side:

react:

Lady Gaga has been back on the radar for, like, an hour, and I’m ALREADY OVER HER again.

And I was JUST thinking to myself how nice it is that she’d been doing some photos and whatnot looking more like her natural self. I was referring mostly to her FACE. I did not mean that I needed to see ALL OF HER NATURAL SELF. BEDAZZLED BODY CONDOMS ARE NOT CLOTHES.

It gets worse, and please know that this is probably not safe for work.