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Monday, April 21, 2008

China Syndrome

This month's formal planning application to build a 175 acre Chinese business park at Manston makes heavy reading, I can tell you. All in all 110 documents have been filed. That's about 109 more than you'd need for your average single storey extension.

Local squillionaire Ken Wills, whose joint venture with the dodgy human rights abusers otherwise known as the Chinese is behind the China Gateway development, has clearly been very thorough. And I can't think of too many people round here who'd sit down with all that bumf for a spot of bedtime reading. All I managed was the glossy Environmental Statement, which reveals that some of the final development will be beyond the designated employment area and use up yet more of our precious countryside. The application rather arrogantly states:

Whilst this portion of countryside land would not normally be developable for such uses, it is considered an appropriate departure from current policy given its strategic location and the unique opportunities presented.

Then abracadabra! There we go! The magic words 'jobs' and 'regeneration' appear, which is bound to get our supine council drooling. As will the sentence: '(It) will put Thanet ‘on the map’ as a major international commercial centre.'

So get out the KY and let's all bend over backwards and/or forwards for the Chinese, eh? Why not let them bulldoze our pastures and build on top of our water supply, I say. Why not let them add up to 17,000 journeys a day to the area, and rumble lorries round our roads and fly knackered old jumbos over our heads? After all, we might lose our pleasant environment, but in return we'll get a few jobs and a load more sheds full of tut out at Westwood Cross. Hurrah!Click here to go to the UK Planning website. Once you've selected Thanet District Council, go to M, then click on Manston Road. It's the second application down.

The magic word 'jobs' but for whom and what will they be manufacturing? These will be high-tech jobs and will be specialised so hardly likely to be for the average unemployed/unemployable Thanet folk. Unless the companies undertake massive training programmes I can see the headlines already 'We had to move the company to (insert area of your choice) as we couldn't find enough highly-trained staff in Thanet'. Grupo Antolin said the same but then did close for other reasons for time after (economic slowdown).

Human rights?I'd be interested to know what they actually are. The nearest I've ever got to working that one out is that they're either 'a precursor to making benefit claims' or 'entitlement to a tap where there is no water'!Perhaps someone could take the time to explain to thick old me, what they actually are and why we should be entitled to them.I'd also like to know, if anyone thinks they can explain without getting all opinionated, what the Hell 'inhumane' means. Nearest I can get to that one is 'not the actions of a human', though, quite clearly, in the apparent absence of alien intelligence, it can only apply to human acts.Most confusing!Help?Bleeding hearts and lefties need not apply!

While we're on the subject and I'm in the mood for a rant, I'd also like to know how a self-proclaimed millionaire can take such a staunch stance against capitalism. Yes, I know you may not 'actually' be a millionaire but I think you could tell us, truthfully, with hardly any risk of blowing your cover, how many dwellings you inhabit.Just for a little perspective.

I hope you don't think I'm getting on my high horse, but I am currently 'riding the white pony'. Having said that, I really need to get off to Boots and stock-up.

There is a proposal to train a 'quota' of local people in the China Gateway environmental statement, anon. 7:58am, but there doesn't appear to be any definition of how many would make up the 'quota'.

As for 'human rights' Lucy, I think they also extend to freedom of speech, right to a fair trial, that sort of thing. I've got nothing against the Chinese people themselves, it's the way their government treats them, and other people around the world, that I object to. Ditto the US, and ditto the UK for that matter.

And I don't see what my circumstances have to do with that. I'm a fairly paltry millionaire by Ken Wills standards, but yes, I'm better off than your average Thanetian I suppose. I don't think that precludes me from objecting to what I view as the wrong kind of jobs for the area. I would much prefer to see work created in industries such as agriculture and horticulture, marine and maritime, the arts and media, environment, retail, leisure, hospitality that sort of thing. They'd be much more suited to Thanet's unique assets.

It may well be an application driven by no other though than to serve the local people of Thanet, to bring to the hard working and industrious people the benefits of modern technology, running water and top line leach treatments for grumble brain.

The link seems a bit dodge. I've altered it so that it now takes you to the list for Manston Road. The China Gateway application is the second one down, just below Tesco's application to do car valeting.

Rather a lot of "unknowns" including number of employees, number of vehicles per day,processes to be carried on, machinery installed, AND the end products! So it's vaguely a building thing making er... something or other. But it will employ...er... maybe some people.

Apparently the companyat this end are dealing with the Chinese equivalent of SEEDA and will have no say over who will come here or what kind of product they'll be manufacturing. A giant leap into the dark it would seem.

I am sceptical of any very large project that relies either on one enterprise, especially foreign or the political stability and continuing good relationship with a foreign country. We paid for the infrastructure of the Sally Line and the result is the west beach is a lorry drivers toilet, hoverport now just a source of pollution everyone knows that Pfizer could just pull out one day if times get tough.

ECR, if you're a bit loaded can you lend me a pony till payday as I'm a bit strapped and need to get blasted out my skull next weekend. You never know, might bump into old Latchy on the way to the boozer.

"the delegation visits the Headquarters of Chinamex and meets with Hao Feng, Chairman of Chinamex, to further negotiate their cooperating projects. The delegation also visits Beijing 3J International STEEL Building Co., Ltd, Tsinghua Science Park, Sina, Aigo" (capitals mine)

Overheard in Thanet

Is your hot chocolate gluten free?Man at kioskJust wait til I get hold of yer, yer cunt. Yer fuckin' door won't save yer!Man on phone in streetThere were dead bodies everywhere at my fuckin' birfday do. No, seriously, my missus had to give one bloke CPR!Man on phone in streetYer can't smoke in a petrol station can yer? Fuck it, I'm gonna light up anyway. If I blow meself up I'm gonna charge you compensation!Woman to staff member at petrol stationWhat happened to all those Socialist Workers eh? They joined the bloody Labour Party, that's what!Man to woman in WaitroseSo I grabbed the fuckin' potato peeler and stabbed the cunt.Man sitting outside barTwitter? That's the bit between a bird's twat and her shitter, isn't it?Man on trainYou know the medicine they give us was invented by the Germans in WW2 for their troops, so they could be shot?Man on streetYeah, well, he's a fucking bald headed cunt.Man at Margate football matchYou better choose your sweets, inch yer! I'm not a bleedin' psychic, inn I?Woman to small childI like haring but I don't like it when the dog just bites into it an' it fuckin' screams and then you 'ave to go an' chop it.Man in restaurantI'm a registered businessman!Man on phone in streetI luv 'im, even though 'e raped me an' bit me. 'Cos 'e respecks me.Woman talking to man in streetChild to baboon in animal park: 'Ello!Mother: Don't talk, MatthewChild: Why?Mother: 'Cos it's an animal.

If you come on and start having a go at Margate, it immediately puts everyone's shackles up.

Man talking about the warm-up act at the Alexei Sayle gig at the Theatre Royal, Margate'We are not expecting widespread flooding; however precautions have been deployed and we are doing our upmost to ensure all areas are secure and protected.'Thanet Council press release

Did You Know?

Richard's Thanisaurus

Bignews Margaten. a fatuous blog that pays lip service to 'freedom of speech' but shits its britches at the first sign of trouble. Contributor: anonymous.

Much of the reason we experience noise on landing over Ramsgate is because training flights are precisely that. Half the time the pilots get too low and have to put their engines on... They are training and get it wrong! - Local pilot

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The Thanet Daily is a humour/satire/local gossip blog based on the Isle of Thanet in Kent. Opinions expressed on this site may not be suitable for minors, wilting flowers, or duffers. The content, opinions and comments contained in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of its author(s), fictional or otherwise. The Thanet Daily accepts no responsibility legal or otherwise for their accuracy of content. The Thanet Daily is not responsible for the content of external internet sites. Actually, if truth be told, the whole thing is a crock of shit.