August 8, 2013

How to Get the Hell Out of Your Marriage

Nate and Michelle

Have you ever felt like there is so much hell in your marriage that it’s utterly hopeless? That leaving is the ONLY solution? Well, here’s a true story of a marriage that by all accounts was finished. In fact, this couple titled their testimony “How to Get the Hell Out of Your Marriage” after the Devil almost destroyed them. Michelle and Nathan have given us permission to share their incredible story of healing.

There is no situation, no marriage, too difficult for God. He is the One who can get the hell out of your marriage! ~Emerson

Nathan and I have had our road trips to hell and back many times throughout our marriage. Doctors diagnosed me with ADHD, Bi-polar, chronic depression, personality disorder and schizophrenia. Over the years we had both battled with many addictions in different forms, at different times. Our home life was a mess, so my husband spent his time diving into his work and ministry. He might’ve been failing at home but outside the house he was doing “great things in the Lord.”

The last bout was the enemy’s one last shot to destroy our family completely. I found myself drawn to internet pornography. It became such an intense addiction that I could not break it and it turned into adultery. I had been overcome by this evil but could not break free. I decided that ending my life would be better than this. Then my family intervened and I was admitted to a mental hospital. From there I went straight into rehab only to get kicked out. I ended up in a homeless Christian mission that had a recovery program. But amidst my battle and mental torment I fell again, and ended up back on the street.

After several weeks the Lord started drawing me back. I didn’t know what deliverance was but I knew I needed to be free. Nate and I slowly began to be drawn by the Lord to the place of restoration, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. I was still living on the streets when I got myself into a “Celebrate Recovery” program. At this point I reached out to a local church for help to get my family back. They connected me with a woman named Lisa whose marriage was changed through Love and Respect Ministries. At this point everyone that had been in our lives had pretty much given up on us. But the Lord had given Nate a word to “pursue your wife” when it looked the darkest, and the Lord also gave me a word that “I will restore you to your family.”

We came across a deliverance ministry and something inside me said, “This is it; this is where my freedom lies.” I also started going to a Motivating Your Man God’s Way ladies’ group. I was going to learn how to treat my husband. No one had really taught me that. OH MY - it was hard! The respect thing did not come naturally to me and went against everything I believed to be true. Everything on the inside of me screamed “This is SO WRONG” but it was so right because it was what the Lord instructed. Through many nights of Lisa’s coaching & my small group’s accountability, I applied these principles. I learned that when I did, everything usually ended up the way I wanted it to, even though I was so sure that it wouldn’t. It’s amazing how we think God’s way won’t work - that our way is better - but God truly knows best. When I obey His word He makes sure that everything works together for the good.

I was on the street for a total of 9 months when I moved back home. I went through deliverance ministry and was healed and delivered from the ADHD, the bi-polar, everything that had me bound. I was able to come off all 8 of my medications. I have been medication free for 3 ½ years! Nate and I renewed our vows in 2010. We are moving forward in the restoration process of our family. We’re not perfect, but we are doing what God has called us to do.

I continue to apply the Love and Respect teaching to my life. I recently went through Respectfully Yours and was able to walk away from that with even more revelation. It’s not a marriage crisis but a crisis of faith. God is not asking me to do these things because He wants to hurt me but because He loves me.

We want to give God all the Glory! We were hopeless and should not be here today. But God said NO - this family is mine! ~Nate and Michelle

9 comments:

Kim
said...

My husband and I have had a few trips to "Hell" and back with our marriage as well and recently shared our testimony on FamilyLife radio broadcast. Thank you so much for being willing to be vulnerable in sharing your story. We serve an AWESOME God and NOTHING is too big for him to put back together. Blessings to you both!

My husband filed for divorce after he decided he was 'broken' and that there was no way he could be married. Struggling with alcohol abuse and a family not willing to admit he has a problem; through tears he said, he just didn't know how it could work. I have the same promise from God, despite others coaxing me to give up... we are separated now, it's been almost 8 months and my heart aches as I hold on and pray daily for my husband's salvation. I love him still... despite all the 'stuff.' I believe that God can restore despite what our human eyes see.

His mother was a Christian, who died when he was 10, who I am convinced prayed for her little boy's salvation. I believe God is answering his momma's prayers... as I wait, I try to remember... God's restored many marriages before... mine will be one of them. As I was forced to walk away, I told him, "I made you a promise until death do us part... I meant it... please know that I will ALWAYS love you... no matter what."

Thank you for sharing your story of encouragement. God bless you greatly!!

We attended a Love and Respect Seminar only 5 months after being married- I pray God will remind my husband of His truths. Faithfully!!

To Janet: Hang on to Jesus and don't give up hope!! God has a miracle for you and your husband that will amaze those who hear your story and will bring Him glory!To Hungry for Examples:From a wife whose husband pursued me even thru a six year long affair, I argue that saving your marriage IS possible even if only one of you is committed to it! My husband pursued me when I gave him every reason not to! most men quit on their wives but he made a commitment to be faithful and love me til death parts us. this is not the easy way but it is Gods way. Pursue God first and let Him make you what you need to be for Him. Follow HIS examples in the Word of how he pursued sinners and let HIM love your wife thru you. He will show you what to do to pursue her...in simple ways. To pursue her will mean to love her, serve her and forgive her. A tall order for man but with God it IS possible!!

To Janet: Hang on to Jesus and don't give up hope!! God has a miracle for you and your husband that will amaze those who hear your story and will bring Him glory!To Hungry for Examples:From a wife whose husband pursued me even thru a six year long affair, I argue that saving your marriage IS possible even if only one of you is committed to it! My husband pursued me when I gave him every reason not to! most men quit on their wives but he made a commitment to be faithful and love me til death parts us. this is not the easy way but it is Gods way. Pursue God first and let Him make you what you need to be for Him. Follow HIS examples in the Word of how he pursued sinners and let HIM love your wife thru you. He will show you what to do to pursue her...in simple ways. To pursue her will mean to love her, serve her and forgive her. A tall order for man but with God it IS possible!!

My husband and I are currently separated and right now he's not wiling to talk or move forward. We both are at fault for the issues in our marriage. It hurts that he won't talk or consider reconciliation right now. We have a 15 month old son and he barely sees him. I pray he can seek God as I have and we can move forward and have repentance and reconciliation in our marriage.

Thank you for your testimony. I am praying for my marriage. Know that God has already given us victory we just have to trust in God and let Him lead, direct and guide us. I Pray that God will empower us all to fight in prayer for our marriage