it is my hope that this blog will single-handedly bring about world peace

I Hate Blogging

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog that I wasn’t sure about posting. I emailed my buddy Ryan, and he said “post it!” I emailed my mother, and she said “absolutely not!” Rosie’s vote of “yes” was the tiebreaker. Hope you enjoy:

I am so thankful to have this experience in a new country. The folks up here keep talking about cross-cultural dialogue, and learning as much from me as I learn from them, and they’re spot-on. The differences between Canada and the USA are vast. They have a track record of severe discrimination and mistreatment of Aboriginal peoples (thank God I don’t live in a place like that…). They have shopping centres instead of malls. They don’t have Chick-Fil-A (communists!). We don’t have multi-coloured money. They have Don Cherry. We have Bob Costas. They have Tim Horton’s. We have Dunkin Donuts. They have a Queen. We have liberty and justice for all.

Why do I point out the stark differences between the two, you ask? That way, when I come back an enlightened and changed man from my life-altering, perspective-enhancing trip up north, you won’t think I’m just putting on airs. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, it’s just that I’ve seen the way the rest of the world lives. The new Taylor is here! Thank you, Canada, for making me appreciate what we have in America. Never again will I complain about our modern luxuries and progressivism. Heck, some people here don’t even have air conditioning in their summer cottages. I met a guy the other day who only has ONE automobile…the horror!!

So, friends, when you go out there to try to save the world, one developing nation at a time, look no further than America’s toupee. I’m not saying it can ever be completely cured of its backwards tendencies, and brought out of the darkness of colonial oppression, but maybe we can at least get an NFL team up here.