Thursday, August 18, 2011

Benjamin My Love . Day 2.

Today is the second day we are apart. I decided that I want to start a journal here. Every single day, no matter how busy or tired I might be. Hmmm.. Where shall I start?

Well I miss him. Not one minute goes by that he is absent from my mind. I want to talk to you and see your face so so bad. I feel like someone just punched through my chest, reached for my heart and tore a big chunk out of it. It hurts. So, so bad. I've been through 7 failed relationships. I felt nothing. Except for my first boyfriend which was clearly puppy love and I was desperate to make my first relationship work. I was a zombie for 6 months. Eventually I snapped out of it.

Dear baby,
It was hard sleeping without you last night. I miss your sweat, I miss your drool, but most importantly I miss your snore. It is my lullaby. A sound that puts me to sleep, because from there I know you have fallen asleep. Knowing you are safe and secure and comfortable, then I shall lay myself to sleep.

I finally gathered enough courage to text you in the evening, asking if you need a lift to Broadway. I didn't get any reply. I was worried. I tried calling you a few times but it was forwarded to voicemail. I was crushed. My heart sank. But I stayed positive. I know eventually you will call me back. Finally, a few hours later, you did. You told me you were going to stay at a friend's place for a couple of days. I asked how were you and you said 'if it's ok, I am beginning to miss you very much'

I miss you too baby. So much. Seriously, i wonder why we choose pain over love. I finally understand why you sent me so many blank messages. Im sure you know why too. Anyhow, Im glad we talked for a minute on the phone. I was really, really glad to hear your voice. My first happy smile in two days. For the first time in two years you hung up first. It must be really tough for you to do that. You said u will call me tomorrow.I really hope you do.