and once again, my mother rains on my parade.

so im semi fuming right now.
i was being super bored and just looking up crap online, nothing in particular just shopping for nothing. then i started thinking about possible Christmas presents and I thought of oscar. he’s been looking to buy a recliner for himself so he can play video games and watch football in. so i start browsing really nice recliners on wayfair. then I see a section marked ‘sports recliners’ and wouldn’t you know it there’s a custom raiders recliner. his favorite team. im like omg that’s so perfect he would love that. Did i see the price? yeah I see it’s 800 bucks and obviously i can’t afford that now or in the near future, but isn’t that the fucking point on online shopping??
so my mom wanders in my room and in my excitement im like “hey mom wanna check out this awesome find on wayfair?” and so she sits on the bed and i pull up the screen.
and literally the first fucking thing out of her mouth is “800 DOLLARS? YOU CAN’T AFFORD THAT.”
and my heart fucking sank. like THANK YOU, captian critical. obviously i can’t. thanks for rubbing in the fact that im broke and unemployed and can’t even buy my boyfriend a nice xmas present. like i was all caught up in the excitement of this awesome find and she just shut it down completely. im not an idiot. i know im not going to be making this purchase now or even within a year but fuck did she have to kill my dream completely like that? like thanks. thanks a fucking lot. like every fucking thing is so judgemental and critical with her, especially when it comes to money.
and what pisses me off even fucking MORE is that I had to give her 100 bucks this morning because she couldn’t afford to go on this stupid ass camping trip with her stupid ass friends this weekend. so she asked me for the money. and of course i had to give it to her, like im not an asshole and she’s paid my tuition since i’ve been in school. i had the money, so i gave it to her.
i never once said “YOU CANT AFFORD THAT. WHY ARE YOU GOING CAMPING WHEN YOU CANT AFFORD IT?!?!” you know? like thats literally what beign fuckign supportive is all about. like fuck you, mom. fuck you for that.
whatever.
honestly at this point im so fucking furious with my family. i hope i get this boring ass job and i can move the fuck out asap. cuz im serisouly done with their bullshit.
so
fucking
done.
by the way, here’s the link to the fucking chair in case I read this in the future.
http://www.wayfair.com/Imperial-NFL-Big-Daddy-Recliner-140-10-IMP5028.html

not even for fucking oscar anymore, but just to rub it in my fucking mothers’ face. i know that’s hella bitter, but im angry and hurt and better that i write it here than lash out at her.
i didn’t even get a fucking apology for that bullshit.
really tho? reallyyyyyyyy???
ugh im out.