Saturday, April 18, 2009

So overnight I have gained about 1.5kg - damn monthlies are coming soon so I know thats why but it is still disappointing and annoying.Now that I am working full time (6 days a week actually which is killing me) I have noticed my eating has improved and I don't eat that much anymore although somedays I can eat a sandwich and other days bread will kill me. My life feels like a bit of a shit at the moment. I had a teary to my mumushka (what I call my mum)last night about how my life just isn't where I hoped or thought it would be at the moment. I am reassessing my relationship with my bf at the moment and find I am not coping having any "maddie" time due to working 6 days a week and then driving to his house and then back home Sunday night just to do it all over again. My wonderful mumushka reminded me that I have had a stresful past 4 mths from having the band to being made redundant and struggling getting a job which resulted in financial strain to all of a sudden working 6 days a week. So I have decided I will soon give up my Saturday job and at this point in time aiming to go overseas with my mumushka next year. She will come for 3 weeks and after that I might do a Contiki tour by myself or who knows but tha is my goal. I also want to move out in 3 mths time and whether that is with my bf, someone else or by myself who knows. I will cross that bridge when I get to it.And I've finally accepted (most of the time) that my weightloss is different to everyone else and the fact that I am losing weight is good enough. I know I can do better by exercising more but it took years to get myself fat and lazy and terrible habits so I need to realise it will take time to really get into my good habits and everyday it is a learning curve for me with my band.I'm going out next w.end with the girls for a big bender so I think it will be good to have some fun and not worry and I'm sure once my hangover wears off I will feel better about the bf - he is great but the external factors at the moment are just straining our relationship.Anyways I better do some work but needed to clear my head.Have a great w.end to anyone who actually reads this lol.Oh and thanks to the nice comments about my red dress.Maddiexo