This is the question that runs through my mind constantly as I prepare for a class, practice at home on my mat, or read about “yoga” in our current culture (mine being the culture of North America influenced by my time in both the United States, Canada, and abroad). The short answer is…no, I don’t believe I teach yoga, but the long answer is much more complex.

If you have been part of the “yoga community” for any amount of time, you will have no doubt stumbled upon the question of what yoga is today. There are questions surrounding its origins and its adoption in the “West,” questions related to its exclusivity in certain communities and the commodification of a sacred practice. There are questions around access and equity, as well as questions related to the practice itself (in terms of what is viewed or respected or praticed as “real” yoga). These questions are part of my personal journey and exploration of this practice as a white, middle-class, able-bodied woman…one who came to yoga in the 2000s and who has benefitted from its spread world-wide.

Yoga’s history runs deep and is incredibly complex. From the Vedics to modern day yogic philosophers – there are a myriad of thoughts and interpretations on how the practice came to the place it is now. It is said that the earliest mentioning of “Yoga” was strictly in the spiritual realm in one of the many Upanishads (there are 11 principle Upanishads or teachings), before 500 BCE. This first mention dealt with the inner realm alone…that we ourselves were the container for and the realization of Yoga. From there, yoga took a journey into Vedanta, “the guiding background philosophy of Yoga” (Emil Wendell, Yoga Philosophy, November 2015). This philosophy includes:

Our inner self is connected to reality

Our awareness of self, without awareness of this ultimate connection, can be viewed as an illusion

Self-realization through self-study and self-awareness (the deep work!)

Discipline and commitment are required to reach the goal of self-realization/actualization

These philosophies are still considered to be the guiding principles of many teachers and gurus throughout India and beyond who both practice and share yogic philosophy. Note here that there is no mention of physical practice, per se!

It is important to remember that there are many types of yoga that our current practice birthed from:

Mantra Yoga (chanting)

Karma Yoga (selfless action)

Jnana Yoga (self-study)

Bhakti Yoga (yoga of devotion – can be viewed as the “religious/spiritual” form of yoga)

Patanjala Yoga (meditation)

Tantra (energetic systems)

Hatha (physical body)

Theravada Buddhism, Jainism (intention and the yoga of no harm to others)

As you can see, our practices today combine some forms of yoga together. We may chant before a class, volunteer in our communities, embark on self-improvement projects, have a spiritual practice that may or may not include worship, we might meditate, see energy healers, run/bike/move, and practice mindfulness in our thoughts/words/actions towards others. Today, in most spaces, the emphasis of yoga is placed on the Hatha or physical practice as we roll out our mats and align our bodies into various poses and postures.

Today’s practices on the mat – at least those taught by most teachers that I encounter – can be said relate to “Pantajali’s Eight-Limbs of Yoga” derived from the Yoga Sutras in the 16th century:

Yama (universal ethics)

Niyama (personal ethics and purifications)

Asana (postures)

Pranayama (breath work)

Pratyahara (withdrawal of the senses, coming inward)

Dharana (precise focus)

Dhyana (meditation)

Samadhi (self-realization/liberation)

Ultimately, in all of this, the goal of yoga was outlined as “Yoga Chitta Vrtti Nirodha” or “the end of the ceaseless movement of the mind.” All of the practices outlined above were manifested in order to bring us to this internal state of quietude.

The arrival of yogic practices to the “West” (namely the United States) and these eight limbs is a relatively recent phenomenon, one informed by the knowledge that emphasizing the physical aspects while de-emphasizing the spiritual and more self-reflective practices would be the way to hook us to the yoga mat. In 1893, Swami Vivekananda understood that there was a freedom of exploration in the United States…an opening that might give way for these ancient practices to make an entrance. The ultimate turning point arrived in 1947 when Indra Devi (a Westerner who studied yoga abroad with Sri Krishnamacharya) opened a studio in Hollywood. Yoga exploded onto the scene in the United States in Los Angeles, fuelled by an obsession with “alternative” modes of staying healthy and lean while adding that ever-so-marketable exotic edge to the mix. From then on the age of cultural appropriation and commodification of these practice was on with men and women traveling abroad to study and then returning to the West to open studios and share their passion and knowledge with others. It was only a couple of decades later, in the 1970s, when yoga became more accessible than ever to those of us wanting to study and learn in our own backyards. Note: this is an incredibly reductive overview of the evolution of these practices in the West…one that leaves out politics, migration, social movements, religious movements, cultural exchange, and so on.

As a result of the yoga boom and the opportunities this presented on personal, social, and economic levels, it was only a matter of time before another explosion of yoga occurred bringing us to where we find ourselves today…there is hot yoga, yoga with goats (have you seen the YouTube video yet?), dance yoga, yoga for gardeners, Vinyasa Flow, yoga therapy, naked yoga, partner yoga, Yin yoga, restorative yoga…the list goes on and on. In short, there is a “yoga practice” for everyone! But, is what was being taught and shared “yoga?”

That leads me to my own questioning of what it is I share exactly. I am a believer in emphasizing all eight of the limbs of the yogic path – not just the third (asana) and I do incorporate the different veins of yoga mindfully into my practices. There is a beauty in the freedom that our yoga affords us today, but it is important to recognize the birthplace and evolution of our practices as well. To not shy away from the conversations of exclusion/inclusion, ability/dis-ability, equity/inequity, cultural appropriation, and what yoga means to us as a society today.

I am on a personal path of exploration to describe what it is I share with those interested in practicing with me. Do I believe I can call it “yoga” in the strictest sense? Most likely not. Do I believe it is a practice derived from a deep history of knowledge, information, practice, and questioning? Absolutely. I can honestly say that learning about the history and my consistent self-exploration in this work has transformed the way I view myself and how I choose to share this with others. When I began to practice yoga, I had modality to ignite my personal embodiment – mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. A space of embodiment that eluded me for a very long time.

I will continue to seek my path in this long lineage before me; knowing my participation comes with both benefits and potential drawbacks. I continue to acknowledge my personal privilege on this journey of exploration; knowing my acknowledgement is part of this yogic path.

I used to worry incessantly about the details. I would get wrapped up in ensuring the final product or event or…anything, was done to my exacting standards. At the time, I didn’t understand the impact my perfectionist tendencies were having both on myself and on others in my life.

In regards to myself, insomnia was a constant companion. In fact, in my quest for perfection in college, I exhausted myself to the point where, one frosty winter morning following my 4 AM – 6 AM on-air shift at our college radio station, I returned to my dorm room and collapsed halfway into my space and halfway into the hallway. Needless to say, some of the other residents on my floor were wondering what was up with the girl laying on the floor snoring! I would rehearse dance pieces over and over again, never feeling as though I really put forward a performance that met my personal expectation. I abused myself with food and my inner monologue, constantly pushing myself further and further until one day in my early 20s, I became so ill, I literally could not walk and instead dragged myself across my apartment floor…which is where my roommate found me and immediately demanded that I go into therapy (note: I did just that and am forever grateful to my friend who used some tough love in the moment I needed it the most).

As for others, my friends and family watched from the sidelines as I demanded more and more from my body, soul, and mind. In turn, I demanded more from them as well – although I wasn’t aware of it at the time. In order to not send me into a fluster, they entertained my exacting standards for everything in life. I remember setting up for a party I was hosting in my space one summer. My now-husband had never, up until that point, experienced my need to ensure everything was perfect for the impending arrival of guests and stood in wonder (and, without doubt, some annoyance) at the agitated flurry I was making when re-arranging the way he set up the plates and silverware on the table (note: I am grateful he chose to stick with me after witnessing my perfectionist edge…he’s been a witness to this journey of letting go).

My need for perfection lessened, but still persisted, with the help of therapy and self-reflection. I didn’t want to live in the space of demand constantly. It was becoming more and more exhausting keeping up with the demands I kept putting in front of myself.

There was one place of respite…my yoga mat. There, anything and everything could happen. Toppled over in a pose? No problem…just try again! Unable to get your leg behind your head? Meh, who cares?! Handstands freaking you out? No need to push myself into something my body and system aren’t ready for.

In short, I was learning the art of the “perfectly-not-perfect.”

My release of perfection has been slow, but yoga has been instrumental in showing me that the perfection I sought was simply an illusion and, more importantly, a distraction. If I could wrap myself in the cloak of striving for perfection, I could avoid the harder work of changing what made me unhappy. I could avoid the tough conversations. I could subvert my anxiety and self-consciousness by distracting myself with the hard work being a perfectionist entails. I could avoid…myself.

Yoga taught me there isn’t perfection to strive for…only the perfect that already exists NOW. Being in the NOW means meeting yourself fully and completely, just as you are. My process of meeting myself has taken time, but I’ve fallen in love with the person I am – because she is “perfectly-not-perfect!”

When I meditate and am fully embodied in the present moment, there is nothing else to consider, nothing else to do, no striving, no working toward something. There is only what is. Once we realize that every moment on the mat is this series of “nothing else to consider, nothing else to do, no striving, no working toward something” we are suddenly free to experience everything and realize that the perfect is right here with us RIGHT NOW.

I’ll admit that I get frustrated when I hear people talking about yoga as though it is a series of goals to be accomplished. As if there is some end game to our practice once we achieve a posture. In reality, there is beauty in the never-ending process that our practice provides because it has the ability to teach us about our divinity and the perfect that exists in us just as we are – regardless of if we ever do full Hanumanasana (Monkey Pose – splits), or not. It is the perfection in every moment of getting there…the beauty of BEing in that process…that is really what our practice can be about celebrating.

Celebrate your perfection, just as you are. Celebrate the perfection in others, just as they are. There is nothing else we need to do in that regard. When honouring our perfection in this very moment, we (and those around us) are suddenly free of expectation, free of the to-do list, and free of the disappointment that comes with striving for something that can never be attained (because it never existed in the first place).

The 8-Limbed Path of Relationships

I perceive the practice of yoga to happen both on and off the mat. Everything I practice in stillness, movement, observation, manifestation, and letting go on my rectangle of rubber, I also put into practice in my daily life – or at least that is the goal.

So it goes with the theory behind yoga. Many of you are familiar with Pantajali’s 8-Limbed Path of Yoga that includes the following:

Yamas – ways in which we relate to the world

Niyamas – ways in which we relate to ourselves

Asana – the physical practice of postures

Pranayama – the practice of controlling breath with intention and mindfulness

Pratyahara – the withdrawing of sensory experience to allow for full observation of self

Dharana – focus and concentration

Dhyana – meditation practice (uninterrupted concentration)

Samadhi – bliss state

These eight limbs enable us to grow our practice in a way that builds upon each step. As we can see, the physical practice is only one small part of how we practice yoga. It is also a way for us to prepare our bodies for everything that follows including breath control and meditation.

This also applies to the relationships we have in our lives – with others and with ourselves.

When we take the time to observe how we relate to the word through the five Yamas: non-violence, telling the truth, non-stealing, refrain from excess, and non-coveting, we are preparing ourselves for what it takes to develop meaningful relationships. It pays not to treat others with violence. My friends and family want me to be truthful with them. I want to be truthful with myself.

This leads to the practice of the Niyamas. In this limb, we find the “values” of cleanliness, happiness/contentment, the development of consistent patterns to develop heat, study of self, and the overarching belief that there is something bigger than us (spirit, God, Gaia…). The Niyamas can help us in relationships in allowing others to just be. To just be content with where things are, to know that it takes effort to maintain good relationships, to understand that there is something larger that connects all of us and that we are part of a larger fabric.

As in yoga, the Asana, or physical practice, is a small piece of the puzzle! So it goes with relationships. While it is always nice to be physically present with those we love, it is our ability to move beyond the physical that defines the depth of our most precious partnerships. I love being able to hug my friends or hold the hand of my husband, but I know that my relationships persist because we go deeper than the physical.

The next four limbs – Panayama, Pratyahara, Dharana, and Dhyana – for me all embody a sense of intention and mindfulness. Relationships do well when we tend to them, just like a garden requires consistent care. By remaining focused when in the presence of someone else – free of all other distraction (including your cell phone!) can bring about a state of full awareness when in connection with another. Think about those times when your friends or loved ones have truly listened to you with their whole heart. It feels incredible! By observing our behaviours within our relationships, we engage in the self-study required to understand what it takes to be our best self in conjunction with another.

Last but not least…the bliss state! Those times where you are feeling truly valued, loved, connected, and appreciated by others. These moments are precious…when we are in full alignment with who we are in the presence of a loved one. Even more so, when we can allow that person to be in full alignment in who they are with us! To me, this speaks to vulnerability and letting go of expectation. That we can be truly one with those we love…just as they are.

I ask students to “check in” with themselves when entering a practice space but, what does that mean exactly? Here are five easy tips for checking in with yourself that can be used any time of day or night…

Physical Body. Pay attention to your physical being. What feels awesome, what doesn’t? Are you feeling like you need to stretch or strengthen? Does your body want something slower or faster? Tune into how the air feels on your skin, the way your clothes lie against your body, and where you are making contact with the chair or floor. Our physical bodies can tell us a lot about what will serve us best in any given moment.

Mental Body. What’s going on inside that head of yours? Are your thoughts racing or are they calm? Are you thinking ten steps ahead or behind? Can you focus easily or are you finding that to be a challenge? By simply cultivating awareness of where our thoughts are, we can develop our ability to weed out those thoughts that aren’t serving us or are distracting us from the task at hand. While some of us may think we rock at multi-tasking, when it comes to checking in, allow yourself the freedom to step into the present moment.

Emotional Body. Simply ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” We don’t have to have an explanation for our emotions, nor do we need to root around and find a solution. Allow yourself to feel just what it is you are experiencing – joy, anger, sadness, indifference. All emotions are valid and when we step back from judging our emotions, we give ourselves the gift of validation.

Energetic Body. Part of this can be seen as “What is my energy level today?” but it is more about that subtler, energetic side of your being. Are you tuning into other people’s energy? Are you able to ground yourself? Are you feeling connected to the earth or are you flying high in the clouds? By feeling into our energetic state, we are tapping into a deeper level of experience that goes beyond the physical, mental, and emotional. Not sure where to start? Just allow yourself to sit or lie in a comfortable position and begin to breathe slow, deep breaths. Is that hard or easy? Are you able to sense the undercurrent that is riding just below your emotional self? Is your energy agitated or calm? Is it aggressive or passive? There is no wrong or right (and no judgement!), it is just about sensing where you are in the moment.

Spiritual Body. Are you feeling connected to the greater whole? We are not alone in this world and when we expand our consciousness to the recognition that we are one part of many, it can lift us up! For some, included in this is their connection to a higher power or energy. When we have this feeling of connection, it can bring about a sense of calm as we begin to realize that everything we do has a ripple effect on others and on our planet. This recognition can be incredibly empowering as we strive to ensure a more positive and loving outlook in all we think, do, and voice.

So, the next time you step onto to your mat, or wake up, or are heading to bed (or anytime, really!), I encourage you to take a few moments to check in. Just completing these five steps can make a world of difference!

Yoga Can Happen Everywhere

One of the things I love most about yoga is that it is never contained.

Yoga can be done (and should be done!) everywhere, anywhere, and all those extra spaces in-between! Some of the most profound work I’ve done in my practice hasn’t taken place within a studio with a yoga mat under my feet. Rather, it has come in the quiet in-between moments. Those moments on airplanes, standing in line at the shop, talking with a friend, or making a connection with someone new.

The asanas are important and I am so glad we have spaces to support people moving and meditating on the mat. After all, that was my first introduction! But, at the end of the day, yoga is so much more.

This realization is something that grows larger for me each day as life unfurls in new and unexpected ways. Yoga allows me to breathe through the ever-constant change that each of us experience. Yoga allows me to feel empowered and strong. Yoga provides me with a path to better health and well-being on all levels – mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and energetic.

The power of yoga rests in its history. In the incredible journey from beginning to now. In the ability to shift and respond to the changes that have occurred, are occurring, and will occur. Yoga, when we think about it, has been evolving from the first recordings of this practice. It has crossed borders and cultures and has evolved in ways no one could ever imagine.

Yoga simply IS. Yoga is in the moment, every moment. It is right where it should be for this place and time. For each of us who practice, this place and time will look and feel different depending on what changes and evolves in our own lives. Yoga, at its core, demands us to come face to face with these quiet in-between moments. Those moments where we don’t think yoga is happening, but, when we look around…we see it is happening everywhere.

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Yoga will be happening in Bali! Join Cat Kabira for a foundation training like no other this September and October! More details here!

Yoga, for me these days, is less about DO-ing and more about BE-ing. When I teach or when I am practicing, I am more interested in holding space for what is coming up. Holding space for exploration of emotion, idea, and feeling; rather than analyzing, predicting, and assessing.

As our personal practices evolve, we might find ourselves migrating. In this migration, we might find there is more space for silence and just observing. When I began my yoga journey, I primarily focused on alignment, execution, and a cerebral understanding of what this practice of yoga is all about. Nowadays, my practice is more of a full-on sensory experience. I am no longer as concerned with mastering that headstand or the precision of the pose. It is more about the essence of my entire life. Am I living in accordance with my own personal ethics? How am I putting the yamas and niyamas into practice every day? What emotional, mental, physical, and energetic impulses/reactions/sensations occur as I move through my life – both on and off the mat?

This is holding space for possibility. Holding space so we have this room to explore and just be, with no expectation or judgement. From this place, everything becomes possible because we are no longer boxing ourselves into a preconceived notion of how-this-should-be-done.

It’s freeing!

I recently returned from Bali where I was assisting and teaching with Cat Kabira during her 200-hour foundation yoga teacher training. During those five weeks, I explored the edges of holding space. Of knowing that when space is created, we – all of us – have the opportunity to step into our own personal power. In fact, it is when we DO LESS, that we ALLOW FOR MORE. I witnessed people stepping into their personal power on a daily basis, trying it on and seeing just how good it feels to set boundaries and not apologize for who they are. I witnessed transformations in people’s personalities and practices, both on and off the mat. I witnessed myself stepping into the space of doing less and, as a result, enjoying the process of life even more.

Having the time and energy to hold space is an incredible privilege. I am aware of how precious this place of “doing less” is. These brief moments of being, not doing, are an incredible gift and one – when we are fortunate enough to have them – should not be taken lightly.

How can we all DO LESS in order to BE MORE? How can we hold space for others to just be – without reservation – fully and completely who they are?

The next time you are on your mat, I encourage to let go of any ideas of what “should be.” Explore your practice from a place of spaciousness and freedom. A place where everything is possible, and nothing is off the table.

Simply. Hold. Space.

I’m lucky enough to hold space next with Cat Kabira in Bali again for her September/October 200-hour yoga teacher training at The Yoga Barn! Join us there!

I was speaking with one of my close friends (who also happens to be a yoga teacher) yesterday. We were talking about some of the articles we’ve been reading lately, about the complicated and relentless western society we find ourselves living in, and about yoga’s place in all of it.

So much of what we are surrounded with tells us how we should act, what we should look like, what success is (or isn’t), and that contentment is a far-off dream that takes years of hard work and sacrifice to find. In my opinion, it has led to an unrelenting desire for a quick fix, an adrenaline shot of happiness, a quick-fire solution to all of our problems. As a result, we have lost an appreciation for what occurs on the journey to get there. Not only that, we want our journeys to be fast and painless, with little to no disruption occurring in our lives.

The same can be said for the overall approach to yoga in the west. Coming to North America 1920s, yoga was initially introduced to the masses via a studio in Hollywood set up by Indra Devi (a yoga pioneer for sure). Before this, those who wanted to pursue yoga would most likely have had to travel abroad to find and then study under a teacher. To appeal to our overall desire for a better-looking body, the entry point for many to this practice was via the physical. As time has gone on, our ability to commodify and package yoga as a “quick fix” for body, spirit, and mind has taken off in ways I’m sure the original yogis could never have imagined.

Here’s the catch, yoga isn’t just about the physical practice and it surely isn’t a quick fix. If anything, a deep and intentional practice of yoga will deconstruct and potentially ravage your world as you know it. Through mediation, breath, movement, and philosophical study, we have a tool that will bring deeper levels of awareness, and – as a result – can create a world in which we become seekers, critical thinkers, more empathetic, and in tune with “the-way-things-can-be” as opposed to “the-way-I’ve-always-done-this” or “the-way-things-should-be”.

Enlightenment comes at a price and it is a long path that leads there. It means breaking out of your comfort zone and seeing what lies beyond your boundaries. This is the reality of our practice both on and off the mat. If you are truly invested in exploring these practices, it requires a brave heart and a willingness to delve into the darkness and not just hover where the light is.

The Yoga Sutras touch on this in a variety of ways. They explain the discipline required, the mental clarity and focus needed to truly practice. In fact, yoga only begins once a person has done their preparation. That occurs even before we begin we actual practice of yoga itself! Imagine that!

Consider this the next time you are looking for that easy way out. Yoga is a discipline and one that asks you to work harder, deeper, and with way more heart. In my mind, a yogi is one that is willing to go that extra step…the one courageous enough to stay in it for the long haul. The one who may never achieve balance in Vrksasana (tree pose) but is always ready to give it a try. The one whose mind wanders during meditation, but makes the time to pursue the practice. The one whose breath goes deeper with every inhale and exhale. That is what the journey is all about…trying, striving…and finding grace and ease along the way.

Lately, I’ve been contemplating what it means to be completely authentic. That contemplation has led me to question and a desire to search for what that means for me on emotional, spiritual, physical, and energetic levels. What does it mean to speak my truth? What is my truth? What/Who is my authenticity and how can I fully show up as that self?

I’m spending this cool and rainy Sunday morning working on something super-exciting for you all! It’s going to include meditation, asana, soul-searching, and getting in touch with our truth. Stay tuned and I hope you will join on this journey as we contemplate and work toward discovering and uncovering our authentic selves!

One of my favourite ways to meditate involves a candle. I find it helps to centre my mind – which can tend to wander off in many directions during some meditation sessions! Many of you may be familiar with this technique, but if not, here are some tips to get you started!

1. Prepare the space by ensuring it is dark enough that you won’t be distracted by other light sources. This may involve turning off other lights in your meditation space or drawing the blinds. You can also prepare the space by ensuring you have a comfortable place to sit and that any unnecessary background noises are kept to a minimum.

2. Light a candle and place it at or just below eye level. You don’t want to be looking down on the flame as this can cause neck and upper back strain.

3. Begin your meditation by taking a moment to settle into your comfortable seat and set an intention for your meditation practice.

4. Look into the flame and allow your mind to focus. Slowly breathe in and out, even giving a count to your inhales and exhales. Note that your eyes may water a little and that is okay! It just takes some practice. Over time, you may notice that you see only the flame and all other things in the room disappear.

5. You can use visualization techniques to imagine breathing in the light and warmth of this flame and then sending it out into the world. You can send that light and warmth to others in your life incorporating some elements of the Metta meditation practice as well.

6. When you have completed your meditation, take a few minutes to allow your eyes to rest by closing your eyes and sitting in stillness.

This powerful meditation practice, when done regularly, can be a wonderful addition to your overall practice of yoga!

Do you practice the candle meditation? If so, any thoughts, tips or tricks you would add here?