The really frightening thing about middle age is you know you'll grow out of it! ~Doris Day

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Will the Real Friend Please Stand Up?

I’ve been making new friends. They are amazing women and so different from those of my past. I like what they each add to my life and the fact that I don’t have to be anyone else, just me. Sarcastic, snarky, eye-rolling, Jesus believing, idiot girl that I am.

In the recent past I’ve come to realize that I no longer fit in with the crowd I use to run with. I haven’t lost or misplaced my close friends, but there are others who have moved on, leaving me feeling like a third wheel.

Some are unhappy about my return to work. You’ll need to understand that I moved in a pretty conservative crowd. All my friends stayed home, homeschooled their children, served at church. That was our life…back then.

The decision to go back to work was a scary one for me. After all, I’d spent the better half of seventeen years at home with my babies. The problem was, my babies grew up and up, up, up went food, gas, and lodging costs. So I found myself a little part time job. A job, I might add, that I have come to love.

Driving home in the silent, darkness last night my idiot girl heart felt heavy. I miss my old friends. I miss hearing about their lives, sharing a cup o’ Joe, and laughing, laughing, laughing. I don’t miss those who cluck their tongue in my direction, considering me a bad mom for going back to work while the delightful Girl still homeschools through high school. I don’t miss the ones that think I’m a failure.

There won’t be anymore babies in this house and Girl is a responsible cutie who knows to get her school work done…or else. Boy is living his life and God has once again presented him with an offer that may help to secure his future. Beloved is a grown man who can make his own dinner on occasion (shocking, I know).

I love my new friends and I wish you could meet them, but I miss my buddies. I miss the ones who know enough to black mail me, but won’t. I miss the ones who know I love Jesus, even though I fail so often. I miss the ones who know the secret pain of my heart and don’t hold it against me.

If you're one of my old buddies, please know that I miss you terribly. We'll get together soon, I promise...

For some reason my comment did not save the other day . . Okay - here goes.

This is a public apology :)

So I want to apply for the job as a real friend - I am standing (in fact I am jumping up and down - oops better stop that before I injure something). This post got me thinking and you and your commentors are right. The REAL friends are the ones there through and thick and thin, snarky and sarcastic, sickness and health, or sweet and nice. It does not matter. I am grateful you are my friend and for all your advice and concerns. If it had not been for you and your DH I may not have made it through all I have made it through this past six months. In fact, who knows if I would have been here to even write this.