This House Would Fund Self Inflicted Illnesses

The 16th ordinary meeting of the literific took place in the senate room and was attended by 36 members. Presidents questions were heard from Mr Ben Murphy, Mis Sophie Stratfull, Mr Calvin Black, Mr Craig Miller, and Mr Brendan Kelters.

President Pouryahya welcomes the house to the debate by announcing the evenings motion THW Fund self inflicted illnesses.

Miss Beth Malcomson opened the case for the proposition by arguing that not funding these conditions is morally unjustifiable, financially problematic and does not fit with the ethos of the NHS, to care for people from cradle to the grave. She made an example of Edwin Poots proposed strategy of charging drunk patients for their treatment and suggested that asking doctors to become judges was an objectionable idea. She concluded what we need is a cultural change, a managerial shake up and to avoid deterring people from seeking treatment.

Mr Craig Miller then opened the case for the opposition by arguing that the statistics regarding waiting times is an invalid argument in a debate on this topic. He gave a personal recollection of his experience working in a hospital on NYE and the injuries that he witnessed as a result on intoxication. The speaker argued that financial deterrents have worked in other cases where people have previously been careless and so extending that to healthcare made sense to him. He concluded that we need a realistic approach and gave his usual rant about taxes.

Mr Fionn Rogers then continued the case for the proposition by stating that the only way to oppose the motion is to be stupid or just plain mean. He argued that raising tax on alcohol won’t stop people drinking and that self inflicted illnesses are multi-factorial. He told a strange story about a ketchup bottle ending up where it shouldn’t have and concluded the health service needs to re-appropriate its funds in order to fund treatment for these conditions.

Mr Harry Addair then closed the case for the opposition and so the debate by arguing that what we need is a cultural shift towards responsibility. He suggested we follow the Singaporian model and reward those who look after their health. He argued that we need policy change to readdress NHS funding and that making people take responsibility for their illness is a better solution than the band aid treatment people currently receive. He concluded that we should get rid of our attitude of externality and focus on individual health, a rewarding system rather than an oppressive one.

The house then moved to an incredibly heated floor debate with a disgusting amount of back and forth from Mr Miller who will be fined on the spot if he so much as puts a toe out of line at any future debates. Questions were heard from Miss Sophie Stratful. Miss Rosie Waterson, Miss Ellen Murry, Tom, Chris, Mr Brendan Kelters, Mr Ben Murphy and Damian. Could people please give me their full name in the future for the minutes please and thank you.

The house went to a vote and opinions read 23 ayes, 5 nays and 2 abstentions whilst a binding vote based on speakers performance meant that the motion was narrowly defeated with 7 ayes, 12 nays and 5 abstentions.