Expergefaciphobia

The light was blinding. As I hang there cold and desperate, knowing the terror that would soon come upon me. Waiting in the dark for the force to deliver the evil! The light was blinding.

Ever since I was born, I was an outcast. Ya see, I hated waking up. Most people remember back to saturday as the morning as the morning when ya could senselessly watch Tom and Jerry for hours. But for me, it was an aching sensation that meant the end to my own time. My own relaxation. MY own darkness. I was taken out of normal school. I was taken out of daycare. All because of my…”condition”.My parents knew that I wasnt that ordinary, when they got the call from school. The teacher couldn’t pry me from the desk after nap time.

The light was blinding.

Despite all of this, I lived a close to normal life. Went to college, got married, got a job. You would think that the best part of my day would be coming home, or seeing my twins. But secretly, it was hearing that satisfying click after I flicked the circuit breaker next to my bedroom door. It… grew useless after awhile. My kids started to grow, the banks got greedy. My wife started to work at the daycare and I would never see her. It’s not like I loved her anyway, it was just a reassurance that someone could close the shutters so that the evil didn’t come in.

The light was blinding.

I remember back to that night. I think it was a Friday. The youngest ones 9th birthday. She and her friends had decided to have a sleepover. They could have done anything they wanted, as long as they left daddy alone. I was tired. I had done everything I needed. The bills were payed, the mouthes were fed, and life was fine. I heard the “click” and jumped into bed.

The light was blinding

They just had to leave daddy alone. The insesent chatter downstairs was bareable. Just as long as it was quiet, I was fine. All you could hear was the cute giggling that brings joy to a fathers face. But, ya see, they just had to leave daddy alone. When I think back, I remember they weren’t yellow. The glowing orbs of artificial light were white. You could clearly see the fake attempt to terrorize me emanating from the red plastic. Not the other more bareable yellow. They just had to leave daddy alone.

The light was blinding

Do you know how long you can hold your breath? I thought it was shorter than it was. The feeling I had when I learned that a 9 year old can hold its breath for 2 and a half minutes was amazement. I wonder how the comfy cotton felt pressed that hard into your head. I had to be quite too. Wouldn’t want to wake the others. After the last one, she woke up. There she was standing at the wake of the stairs with a look of unfathomable horror. I couldn’t feel her awe. Funny, I was blind to the hummanity that left my heart that night.They just had to leave daddy alone.

The light was blinding

She was easy after she fainted. All I had to do was finish the job. Of course I had to be quick with the likely calls now going straight the police station. God I wished that she wouldn’t scream. I decided that water is too bright. I wanted something darker. So of course, I got the darkest paint I could find. Black. The logo on the two buckets said “black” on them and I fell in love. I fell in a deeper love than I had in the past 12 years. I dumped the 2 pails in the tub, and filled the rest up with some bleach. She couldnt wake up even if she wanted to.

The light was blinding

I was done, it was done. I sat down on my bed relieved. My life was goin to be taken care of. I would be put in a prison where everything would be provided. I wouldn’t have to worry about making the bank happy or feeding the children. I could live my life in a place surrounded by people who don’t care for me. The rest of my life just time devoted to myself. Then I thought. The kids and my wife were dead. I started to have a feeling of jealousy. While I had the rest of my life to wake up , they had an eternity of complete blackness, never having to get up. The irony had brought upon my own downfall as I realized that the one thing I killed 7 children for, was the one thing that they had and I hadn’t. As the shimmering red, blue, and white lights appeared out my window, I started to weep. It got worse. The anger, the jealousy, the fear. I couldn’t do it. I fell to the ground realizing the tragedy that I had had doomed myself to. The tears making even more light appear as the shimmer shown into my eyes.

The light was blinding

I decided the quickest way would be through the ropes. We didn’t like guns in our family and I had used all the bleach. We had 3 belts. I fastened them together as quickly as I could and set up a stool next to the bedroom door and got ready. I said 4 hail Mary’s , closed my eyes, and I jumped off. Those last few seconds felt like a century. As I jumped, I used the wall as something to propel myself off of. While jumped I heard the familiar “click”. The makeshift noose didn’t work like it was supposed to it took more than a couple minutes to get all of the air out of my lungs. As my airways contracted, I could only look at the light above me. It was yellow.

The light was blinding.As I hang there cold and desperate, knowing the terror would soon come upon me. Waiting in the dark for the force to deliver the evil.