Metroid Prime: Federation Force Will Be Amazing

So it's been a while since the last Metroid game, nearly 5 years since the last one. Thankfully, as we all know, Nintendo has been using that time to examine exactly what went wrong and has correct it for this latest installment. And Nintendo has absolutely nailed it this time around. The obvious highlight of the Metroid series thus far has been Metroid Prime Hunters and its absolutely fantastic control scheme, and Nintendo realized that this had to be brought back front and center for the next installment. In addition to this, Nintendo realized that the best part of any Metroid game is the multiplayer; but since Nintendo has never been one to stay inside the box, you won't just be shooting people in the next Metroid multiplayer; you'll be shooting oversized soccer balls!

But the innovations don't stop there. Nintendo realized that all true Metroid fans hated Samus and really wanted her to get out, so they removed her as well. Instead of Samus this time around, you'll be playing as some random Federation chump, a far more interesting character choice. Also, Nintendo figured out that isolation and exploration are just tedious, boring parts of the game keeping you from all that fabulous pew pew shooting action. So instead, you're now doing nothing but shooting! It's great!

Also, this game will have "Metroid Prime" in the title, despite likely having nothing at all to do with Phazon, because as Nintendo figured out as well, people now only like Metroid if the word "Prime" is thrown in there somewhere! Usage of original titles has not been authorized, Nintendo. Oh, and since Metroid has been known for its dark, oppressive atmosphere, Nintendo figured what better way to keep that tradition going than by making all of the characters have a chibi art style? Because what says dark, dangerous, overbearing world quite like a cute soldier with an oversized head?

But the fun doesn't stop there! Nintendo's planning a number of great future Metroid games to keep the momentum rolling! Look out for Metroid or Alive: Beach Volleyball: Samus Edition, coming to 3DS with jiggle physics in full 3D in 2016, and then Samus' Arm Cannon Training, coming to Wii U with full Gamepad support in 2017! Because why make a real Metroid game when you can just throw the word "Metroid" on it somewhere and make just as much money?

All of this leads to one undeniable conclusion. Metered Prime: Federation Force will be amazing. Whether it's the utter lack of atmosphere or exploration, the completely generic characters, or the epic multiplayer shooter action that gives a big middle finger to isolation, every single Metroid fan who's never played a Metroid game before is sure to love this title! It will assuredly be a force to be reckoned with come 2016!