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SPECULATIVE stories, for the most part, are best left unaddressed for fear refer encing them will give them credibility. Nevertheless, last week’s report that Mike D’Antoni wants to trade Stephon Marbury for Boris Diaw and Leandro Barbosa demands denouncing from any and all perspectives.

First the Suns: The careers of Steve Nash, Shaquille O’Neal and Grant Hill are on a slippery slope; the championship window of opportunity is a season or two away from slamming shut, if it hasn’t already closed. So, yeah, if you’re owner Robert Sarver who paid $401 million for the franchise four years ago, it sure seems like the logical time to unload two of the team’s three young, core players for an expiring contract that can be put to good use when the holy trio retired.

Why didn’t I think of that?

The good news is, Marbury could promote himself as the NBA’s best backup point guard.

OK, so let’s explore why the Knicks would entertain the two-for-one swap? Yes, Diaw and Barbosa were Mike and Dan D’Antoni’s pets in Phoenix. But, guess what, each player has four years left on their contracts; Diaw’s deal is for $9M per season, whereas Barbosa is on the books for $6.1, $6.6M, $7.1M and $7.6M. Each owns an option for 2011-12.

Here you thought the game plan of Knicks’ president Donnie Walsh is to create cap space leading into the 2010-11 season at which time franchise players such as LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh have the right to become free agents.

As currently constituted, the Knicks’ payroll for 2010-11 is $47,704,478. Adding Diaw and Barbosa would increase it by $16.1M. Regardless of how much the cap escalates in the ensuing seasons ($6M, maybe, more or less) that doesn’t leave nearly enough room to recruit a star of the above-mentioned magnitude.

Other than those minor glitches, the speculative story made perfect sense.

The New York High Times quoted Howard as saying he can’t wait for the league to expand to Amsterdam, which is where Hashish may be playing next season regardless.

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Far be it from me to submit the Pistons were preoccupied in their opening series against the 76ers, but half of their active roster was fined by Joe Dumars for sending suggestive text messages to the mayor’s ex-mistress.

Geez, ya think the way the homeboys have dutifully defended their domain in the second round might convince some teams to play harder in the regular season? I haven’t seen such a stable home life since the Cleavers.

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Word has it this will Stu Jackson‘s last season as VP of Violence. Expect him re-assigned to the NBA’s international bureau.

If Bulls chairman Jerry Reinsdorf really was that interested in D’Antoni, he would have sent Oprah (or Jerry Krause) in a negligee to woo him. Pardon me, I just made myself nauseous.

Do you realize the Hornets have Pete Maravich’s number retired and the Hawks do not? Column contributor Elliott Kalb insists the Hornets retire either Larry Johnson‘s No. 2 jersey or his Grandmama dress.

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David Stern is worried about high school kids spending at least one year in college (or working for minimum wage) before entering the NBA. He should be concerned about a college coach such as Kelvin Sampson sitting behind the Spurs bench shortly after disgracing Indiana University and now being hired to assist Scott Skiles in Milwaukee. The least the commissioner should do is suspend Sampson for the first five games of next season.

Meanwhile, a couple other projected elite lottery kids coming out supposedly got a ton more. One supposedly gloomed 300G; 150G to him, 150G to high school coach. Another allegedly got hooked up for 250G.

Anyway, the point is, why would an egocentric like Mayo allow himself to get so much less than other marquee players?

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“It might seem like I’m hating on Kobe,” column contributor Robert Taylor e-mails, “but how did he get First Team All-NBA Defensive selection? Is the league so devoid of defensive players? Kobe doesn’t defend consistently. I know he can defend, but every time he defends he has no energy for his offensive game. Guess selection is based on rep rather than performance.”

Hey, how about “LeMans” telling his mom to “sit your Arenass down” the other night during a brief encounter with Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett. Hey, two people in the family who don’t wear their seat belts!

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This just in: To recoup to the 20-million or so Hillary Clinton‘s campaign is in the hole, she has decided to sue Cablevision for sexual harassment.