Category: Greek Mythology

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender doesn’t even like horses because of something to do with the length of their faces but his daughter is giving him those eyes and he groans like, “not those eyes!” and later when the bar closes they take the horse home.

In this one dimension, the big bang occurs in such a way that the universe is a bar and everything walks into it.

Osama Bin Laden walks into a bar and the special forces throw everyone’s bodies into the ocean.

A boy, a bear, a piglet, a tiger, a rabbit, and a donkey all walk into a bar, mess the place up, and pay in honey.

God walks into a bar and Jesus is already there and there’s this Awkward Silence.

A serial killer walks into a bar and kills everybody.

A bar walks into a bar.

A bar walks in on a bar and it’s uncomfortable and the first bar doesn’t know what to say and just closes the door.

A man and a woman walk into a bar and then later out of a bar.

Sisyphus pushes a bar all the way up a hill and when he is about to walk into the bar it rolls back down again.

A psychotic maniac charges into a bar but is very well spoken and makes a lot of friends. Later they’re all into regime change.

God kills himself in the bathroom of a bar and all of time is spent piecing him together.

War is in a bar and never leaves because a genie keeps refilling its glass.

A bomb goes off in a bar and destroys everything and your philosopher friends are like, “Well, what really is ‘a place’?”

The wind blows into a bar and Dawn is in the back spinning a frisbee on her fingers.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender doesn’t even like horses because of something to do with the length of their faces but his daughter is giving him those eyes and he groans like, “not those eyes!” and later when the bar closes they take the horse home.

A rabbi, a priest, and an imam walk into a bar and all complain about their diabetes.

Sadaam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden walk into a bar and Donald Rumsfeld points his hands at them like guns and goes, “Pew! Pew!”

In this one dimension, the big bang occurs in such a way that the universe is a bar and everything walks into it.

Osama Bin Laden walks into a bar and the special forces throw everyone’s bodies into the ocean.

A boy, a bear, a piglet, a tiger, a rabbit, and a donkey all walk into a bar, fuck the place up, and pay in honey. Later, the bear, in a confused state, steals back all the honey.

A woman named Harriet and 51 of her imaginary friends walk into a bar wondering where the party’s at.

A woman named Harriet walks into a bar and the bartender falls in love with her and she falls in love back and they get drunk together and have sex and it’s decent.

Harriet is the bartender’s imaginary friend but he always forgets that.

God walks into a bar and Jesus is already there and there’s this Awkward Silence.

A bar walks into a bar.

A bar walks in on a bar and it’s uncomfortable and the first bar doesn’t know what to say and just closes the door.

A man and a woman walk into a bar and then later out of a bar.

Sisyphus pushes a bar all the way up a hill and when he is about to walk into the bar it rolls back down again.

The bartender is the sun and no one is sober.

A psychotic maniac charges into a bar but is very well spoken and makes a lot of friends. Later they’re all into regime change.

God kills himself in the bathroom of a bar and the rest of time is spent piecing him back together.

War is in a bar and never leaves because a genie keeps refilling its glass.

This one guy in a bar keeps talking about his penis.

Everyone is on drugs.

The bartender can’t remember going outside and wonders if his life is some sort of joke…

A bomb destroys everything in a bar and your philosopher friends are like, “Well, what really is ‘a place’?”

1 million kittens walk into something.

The loud hum of everyone talking is in a bar. As you lean back in your chair something blinks.

The wind blows into a bar and Dawn is in the back spinning a Frisbee on her fingers.

Andy Warhol handed me a golden telephone
and told me that with it, I could talk to God
But I knew that the music would keep playing anyway
even if he were not listening
so I kept making it
tasting it
all the while wonderingWhere is the new wine
we expected all along?
Dying on the vine they repliedwhile you were singing silly songs

But we were meant to open doors
the gates to Dionysus
and in passing through them only found
that our isolation was inside us

Give me some time to find myself
let me follow my guide on paths through the past
let me visit the rooms of my sister and brother
before I give up my life at last

And I’ll read out this song I wrote
about feeling alive
and know that I’ll only really sing it
when I’m about to die