Everyday life as a Domina

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The Nerd came over last night. And holy-fucking-glow-in-the-dark-ass-implants, Batman.

I knew this was his first time, and that he was nervous as hell, so I decided I was going to completely capitalize on that nervousness. I wore my black thigh-high stockings, a sheer, thigh-length camisole, and my black over-bust corset over that. With black pumps, of course.

I looked damn good. And scary for a new sub, which was an awesome bonus. Kazander certainly approved of the way I looked.

It was adorable how eager the Nerd was. He got here and I immediately brought him into the bedroom and told him to take off his clothes. So he was standing there, naked, and rock-hard, hairless, and trembling.

And I already knew he was cute. But seeing him naked, I was reminded that he’s actually really good-looking. Slender, but not scrawny, around my height (he was actually a smidge shorter than me, but I was wearing the heels), with black hair and a sweet, innocent face.

Yes please, and thank-you-very-much.

I made him stand there for a minute, while I walked around him, inspecting my new toy and loving what I was seeing. He shuddered a bit when I ran my nails down his back, over his butt, and when I reached lower, to tease his asshole a bit, I heard that soft gasp that I love so freaking much.

I made him bend over and teased him some more, alternating between playing with his ass and his balls. Really, all I wanted to do was grab him by his hair, pin him down on the bed, and fuck him brainless with the strapon, but I knew I had to take things slow.

And I knew the strapon would be too big for him. It’s not for beginners, and especially not for virgins. So that would have to wait.

Dammit.

But still, I had a wide array of toys I could use on him, and I was excited about it.

I have one of those under-the-bed restraint systems, so I had him lie on his back, spread-eagle, and tied his hands down. I didn’t cuff his ankles, because I needed them up and bent, so I could get easier access to his ass. I decided not to blindfold him yet. No, I wanted to see his face when I took his virginity.

First, I just slid a lubed-up finger inside him. He held my gaze as I fingered him, moaning softly and squirming all over the place. He was so tight, it was unbelievable. I’ve gotten so used to kazander, who is well acquainted with ass play, it was actually a little surprising, how much tighter the Nerd was.

I fingered him for a bit, using my other hand to edge him a couple of times (the first of many), then switched to the vibe he bought when I took him to the store.

It was bigger than my fingers, so I needed to go slow. I lubed it up well, positioned it at his entrance, and started easing it in.

I can’t lie… There was a big part of me that just wanted to ram it in, to completely and utterly violate him, to absolutely degrade him. The temptation was strong.

But I want him to enjoy anal. I want him to enjoy and crave being filled, being fucked, being used. And with what I knew of his personality, I needed to go slow with him to achieve that goal. I needed to be gentle.

So I was. I slid it in slowly, giving him time to adjust. He was breathing hard and gasping, still moaning and squirming in that delicious way of his. Finally, it was all the way in, and I started caressing his chest and stomach, giving him a moment to get used to the fact that he was being penetrated for the first time in his life.

And the look on his face as he looked up at me, the vulnerability, nervousness, desire, pain, humiliation, and trust there, was insane. I was already dripping wet, and we were barely fifteen minutes into our play.

Then, after a moment, I reached down and turned the vibe on, setting it to a medium speed. And his reaction was priceless. His eyes widened, he gasped, his whole body tensed up, and he started writhing slowly on the bed, grinding his butt into the mattress.

He wanted to be fucked.

And who am I to deny such a sweet little thing what he wanted?

So I gripped the end of the vibe and started fucking him with it, pushing it in as far as it would go, then pulling it almost all the way back out. I went slowly, letting him savor the experience, letting him savor the sensation. It was a long, slow, thorough fucking, and he was going nuts.

After a few minutes, I left the vibe to continue whirring away inside him, and turned my attention elsewhere. I put on my vampire gloves and ran them across his chest, ribs, stomach, and thighs. Mostly, I was gentle with them, but of course there was the occasional slap to his thigh, or reaching down to cup his ass cheek tightly, or pressing a fingertip to his nipples, balls, or shaft.

Next came the Whartenburg Wheel, which got some nice, shivery reactions from him.

By this time, he was actually getting pretty overwhelmed, and I had to remind myself that he’s completely new, completely inexperienced, and while he wasn’t a total virgin, he hadn’t been with a lot of women, either. I needed to take things slow. What kazander and I would consider a great warm-up was about all he could handle.

So I didn’t take it much farther than that. About an hour after we started, I grabbed my vibrating wand and held it to his dick, while turning the vibe inside him all the way up, as high as it would go.

It took less than a minute. He came all over the place, and I gently pulled the vibe out of him, handed him a towel, and gave him some time to recover. It was his first play session, and his first experience with the sub drop that sometimes comes afterwards, and seemed a little worried. I explained that he’d just pretty much exhausted his body’s supply of adrenaline, endorphins, and seratonin. It’s normal to feel a little “off” afterwards.

So I sat with him for about twenty minutes after the session was over, just chatting and letting him recover. Once he was feeling a bit more steady, I walked him out, gave him a hug, and sent him on his way.

And I’ll have to be honest, I was half-expecting to run damage-control with kazander after the Nerd left. It had been my first time playing with another sub since the very earliest days of our relationship, and while we had both talked about it, and agreed to it, I didn’t know how he was going to react.

So I was prepared for anger, or hurt feelings, or jealousy, or anything like that.

Instead, when I approached him on the couch, he leaned forward, grabbed my panties in his teeth, and pulled them off of me (I should say, I was ridiculously wet at this point, and the panties were soaked).

Well, okay then. I can definitely work with that.

I took my cue from him and grabbed him by his hair, pulling his head back and shoving the wettest part of the panties in his mouth, making him taste it. I leaned over and whispered, “How does it feel, knowing it was someone else who got me this wet?”

He didn’t answer with words, but his dick jumped immediately to attention, and he melted into that mushy, squishy pile of subby goo that I love so much. He and I played for a bit, and he gave me oral, and then we went to bed.

It’s Valentine’s Day! Yay! And I got completely spoiled by my sweet boy. He gave me my gifts last night instead of today, because he’s just a rebel like that. I got Lindor truffles, a metric fuckton of chocolate, and a bottle of Merlot (I think he’s trying to keep me fat…).

Oh, and fun side note. He had no idea that Merlot and chocolate truffles go together. The bastard just got lucky.

So he was a very good boy. So good, in fact, that I just might make it up to him on Steak-and-Blowjob Day. Usually for us, it’s You-Might-Get-to-Cum Day, but this year, I think he’s earned something special. Especially since my birthday was the beginning of this month, and he spoiled the hell out of me then, too. So yeah, something good is definitely coming his way. I’ll just have to sit down and figure out exactly what kind of reward I want to give him.

I’ve known for a long time that I want to be humiliated and treated like nothing. I’ve talked to my wife about it in passing once or twice, but she hasn’t really shown any interest in exploring that, so I haven’t pressed. But now the craving for that kind of thing is getting more intense. How can I get her interested in being my Mistress?

Well, kazander and I were supposed to meet with Spooky today, and he stood us up. So that’s frustrating. Obviously I won’t be speaking to him anymore. Now I have to start all over again and find someone else who fits what I’m looking for.

Kazander is relieved, I think. But I told him that this is only a temporary reprieve. I WILL find someone else who can give me what I want. I WILL make cuckolding a reality. And he WILL suck dick and bend over down the line.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m being too specific in what I’m looking for. I don’t want a string of one-night stands, and I don’t want to have sex when kazander isn’t present. I want a regular “boyfriend” who would be more than willing to help me humiliate and abuse kazander in a variety of depraved ways. So the bull needs to be bi (or at least bi-curious), have at least a slight Dominant streak, and he needs to not be a flake. And, as I have discovered today, two out of three isn’t good enough.

Believe it or not, that list really does narrow down the list of possible applicants. But what I’m thinking I’m going to do is try within my own group of D/s friends. I used to go to a local munch every Friday, but we haven’t gone in months. Even if none of my friends are interested (I’m mentally running through my male Dom friends, and I’m pretty sure none of them are even remotely bi, and the vast majority are in exclusive relationships), maybe they’ll know someone who is.

And in the meantime, I’m still going to search online and see if there’s at least one bull here in Vegas who is real and not a flake. I know for a fact that real people exist on the internet. The internet is where I met kazander. True, I had to wade through a nipple-high sea of fakes and flakes before I found him, but it was definitely worth the effort. So I venture back out into that sea once more. Hopefully I’ll have more luck next time.

And, as a little bonus, kazander’s sister has agreed to watch the spawn tonight. It’s awesome because now I have all kinds of extra freedom to take out my frustration on kazander. Hmm, we haven’t done sounding in awhile, and kazander hates it, so I think that might just be tonight’s winner.

So there are some definite advantages to reproducing. For the more old-school types, you get the whole my-legacy-lives-on thing. And if you’re one of those nurturing types, you get a cute little dress-up doll who may or may not grow up resenting you. Ah, but what the hell. No matter what you do, there’s a reasonably high chance the kid is going to need extensive therapy/resent you/become estranged/whatever. Since I’m not necessarily old-school, and I’ve certainly never been described as overly-nurturing, neither of those things appeal to me. So it may surprise some to discover that kazander and I have a kid.

Why in the blue hell am I talking about a kid on a femdom blog, you may ask? Well, because that little terror, as cute as she may be, has had a massive impact on our lifestyle. For example, trying to make this cuckolding thing happen is exponentially more difficult because we have to coordinate kazander’s schedule with Spooky’s schedule AND we have to coordinate those schedules with our babysitter’s schedule. Frustrating as all hell.

It probably also wouldn’t be appropriate to have kazander crawl around naked, in chastity, with a pig-tail butt plug while she’s around (now THAT would be a new take on “daddy issues”). Luckily for us, she goes to bed at 9, and I have the rest of the night to do whatever I wish to him. Speaking of which, that chastity device is looking AWFULLY lonely there on top of my dresser.

On the plus side, she’s almost two and can now do simple chores that I just don’t wanna do. And as she gets older and masters more of those pesky motor skills, she’ll be able to do more stuff that I don’t wanna do. So, there’s that. Also, now I have an entire person that I can control and shape into a successful adult. And, for a Napoleonic power-monger like me, that’s a pretty significant bonus. She’s also the most unintentionally funny person I’ve ever known. Oh, and since Mother’s Day is tomorrow, I get all kinds of special treatment for having grown a person. I’m definitely looking forward to going to Texas De Brazil tomorrow night. Oh, and my parents are footing the bill. Score!

So, as with everything else, there are pros and cons to having a kid, and having a kid certainly changes part of the D/s dynamic. While my word is law on most things, I fully expect kazander to step up and be the strong, assertive father his daughter needs. And he’s done a pretty good job of that. Sometimes our dynamic changes minute-by-minute. It’s confusing.

Anyway, so pros and cons. Give and take. I have to give up a little bit of freedom as far as when I can beat the living hell out of kazander. But I get free, 24/7 entertainment in the form of my very, very weird and entertaining daughter.

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All pictures posted on this blog are either taken by me or shamelessly swiped from the interwebs and assumed to be public domain. If you own a picture posted here and wish it taken down, please contact me at dominajen@yahoo.com.

What this blog is

This is an 18+ blog about my day-to-day life as a Domina, wife, mother, and all that other crap. A chronicle of me. While this blog focuses primarily on the D/s aspect of my life and my relationships with Kazander, Steel, and Sounder, it is not exclusive to that subject, and I might talk about my kid, or my annoying mother, or my sister's pet cat, or whatever the hell I feel like talking about.

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Sounder’s Blog: soundslikejesseblog

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For those of you who don’t follow Domina Jen’s page, well check that, why would you be here if not for her blog. Nobody picked up Joanie Loves Chachi independent of Happy Days, how would that even happen. So let me re-phrase that, as you have likely read by now, Domina Jen and I are […]

As most of you have already read, Domina Jen and I recently “experimented” with hypnosis. I say “experimented” both with actual, and air quotes, out of a natural skepticism of hypnosis. Who among us wouldn’t be skeptical? However, when Domina Jen gets something in her mind that she finds intriguing there’s little that can be […]

Steel is no longer my sub, but his blog is still wonderful, and worth reading.

Steel’s Blog: Grind_'n'_Throb

It begins over a friendly disagreement, during which you smile, roll your eyes, and say, “Go fuck yourself.”

“But, Ma’am, that’s physically impossible.”

You smirk and ask how certain I am of this. On a roll, I launch into a smug and tangential rant about the anatomical impossibility of an individual’s being capable of fucking oneself. Your response is to merely shrug, smile, and make a cryptic statement:

“Don’t be so sure…”

Later that evening, you tell me bedtime will be early, an hour early to be exact. The amused look on your face says it would be in my best interests not to argue.

Sometimes I fall into a vicious cycle where I’m mentally and emotionally frustrated and cannot manage to channel that energy into productive avenues. In the old days, this would lead to drinking or drugs, but I don’t do that anymore. Instead, I try to go about my day, generally fail to complete mundane tasks and end up feeling ‘stuck’ – this progresses into a cycle of mild depression, feelings of inertia, guilt over said inertia, and then on and on it goes until something snaps me out of it.

It feels like I’m seated in a car stuck in neutral yet compelled to rev the engine until it screams.

When did I last curl up in her lap? It’s been so long, I cannot recall. Despite numbered boxcars on the calendar and the disinterested faces of clocks, a concrete memory eludes me. Time, location, and date, they’re merely three dimensions after all.