Many,
many, many thanks for your overwhelming support in the
recent primary elections. There were many look-a-like
candidates but the public certainly saw through any
disguises and I WON THE PRIMARY! You may
be assured that there will be no monkey business in my
administration if I'm elected in the upcoming November
Elections. My family and I heartily thank you for all
votes past and future.

Thank
all you voters for the seven votes I received. I fully
endorse the primary winner and always knew he was the
best creature for the position.

Many
thanks for the four votes cast at me. My support is now
completely behind The Great Ape that
beat me.

I have
decided to share with the public the statements given to
me following the unusually high number of accidents in
Beartown during September. I urge everyone to be
especially cautious in October as once again the leaf-peeping
flatlanders arrive to violate most all the Rules of the
Road.

"Coming
home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a
tree I didn't have.""The guy was
all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times
before I hit him.""I pulled away
from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law,
and headed over the embankment.""I had been
driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel
and had the accident.""I was sure
the old fellow would never make it to the other side of
the road when I struck him.""The
pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over
him.""The telephone
pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of
its way when it struck my front end."

WEDDING

Farmer
Brown and his brand new bride were riding home from the
chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses when the
older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "That's once."
A little further down the road the poor old horse
stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice."
After a little while the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the
seat, pulled out a rifle and shot the horse.
His brand new wife was extremely upset and told him
"That was an awful thing to do."
The farmer said, "That's once."

SIGNS
of the TOWN

Clock Shop:
There's no present like the timeTravel Agency: For
the family that strays togetherHearing Aid Center:
Let us give you some sound advicePet Shop: Going out
of business - Lost our leashReducing Salon: A
word to the wide is sufficientNudist Camp:
Clothed for the winterTwice Robbed Bank:
The bank where the action isOptometrist: Eyes
examined while you waitSchool: In the
event of atomic attack, the Federal ruling against prayer
in this school is temporarily suspendedApparel Shop: Our
clothes not only make girls look slim; they make men look
'round'Milk Truck: Our
cows are not contented! They're anxious to do better