by Virginia Winters

Doctor Who

Very quickly into this whole thing I realize no one uses their actual name. First names with attached puns or witty jokes are accepted–but not full names. Virginia was already taken, thus forcing me to get creative.

The answer came from my television. “Rose Tyler,” it said. (Please note: my television doesn’t talk on its own; I was watching Doctor Who.)

And I thought, “Yes! Rose Tyler, of course! I’ll use RoseTyler, and I’ll find a dork just like me who watches dork TV shows and reads dork books and truly believes he was born in the wrong dimension!”

RoseTyler, though, was taken. So I thought, this is no problem. RoseTyler is a popular companion of the Doctor–and she’s early seasons. I’ll pick my second–and sometimes first favorite–Amelia Pond.

AmeliaPond was taken, and to my absolute heartbreak, so was RiverSong.

Okay.

So, I bite my lip, and my tongue, the latter by mistake, and I make an executive decision. No one–absolutely no one–wants to be DonnaNoble on a dating site… Not only is she not the most romantic companion, but her story is arguably the most tragic as in the end of it all she gets stuck being the equivalent of a normal human being (fingers crossed on her eventual return for a better ending). So I try DonnaNoble…

…and it’s freaking taken.But don’t worry.

The website had the brilliant idea that I use the username: DonnaNoble_Taco.

The moral of the story is: It’s all a cruel joke, and Donna Noble is the punch line.