14 Answers

In my experience, saying “to be honest…” usually means that the person is about to say something that s/he feels people will object to and/or be offended by. I don’t think it necessarily is saying, “To be honest – as opposed to my usual dishonesty…”

“To be honest…” – I don’t really want Chinese food tonight. – I think you look better with short hair.

And, to be honest, I don’t believe I use this expression. But I understand where you’re coming from – it could be interpreted as declaring that the following statement will be a rare, honest one.

No. I say, “I’m going to be blunt with you…” because I’m already honest. Sometimes I take politeness out of the equation when speaking, but I let the person know I am about to rip off the figuratve band-aid prior to doing so.

People use it, as they use “actually,” “basically,” “um,” “er,” and the other mechanical pausers to buy a little time to think of their answer.

It isn’t expected to mean anything.

Sometimes, when I listen to talk radio while in the car and at a stoplight, I will count the “you know”‘s and “like”‘s that some people use in every sentence. I am unable, after a while, to pay attention to the context at all.

If I’ve used the phrase, to be honest with you, I don’t remember. I might say, “I honestly can’t remember,” but that’s a little different and I wouldn’t say it, if it wasn’t true. Oops. Once I lied about it. I had learned something about a friend and stopped myself from telling friend 2. I told her to ask me in 5 years. She did ask and, having thought better of passing that information on, I told her I didn’t remember. I remembered. I was just 5 years older and wiser.

Yes, but I usually use it with the modifier “to be completely.” What I’m doing is signaling to the listener that the news is probably not something he or she wants to hear, but I am telling the whole truth anyway.