Wow, it just never occurred to me that girl crush has homophobic undertones. It actually really bothers me that I never thought about if the term was problematic. I only thought maybe the term sounded silly and trivialized relationships between and among women (girl =childish/not serious).

I think I'll still use crush, just not with any descriptors (except maybe friend). I think cherish or revere might be too intense for me ;)

I never thought of girl crush as having homophobic undertones either, or really the dumbing down ones. But I have only ever heard/used the term among a group of women. No skin off my nose to not use it though, so I'll just find something else.

The troublesome part of Lindy’s “argument” with her white male comic cohorts is that it’s taking place at a time when people are being arrested off America’s streets for little more than being part of a particular ethnic or racial group. Anyone who targets any group or type of artist for being “too offensive” is helping to move public opinion away from freedom and toward the tyranny of surveillance.

Please know that when you address yourself to “white male comics,” lots of us out here are a little bit disturbed at this distinction. It’s privileged thinking to be unaware of the plight of working-class boys and young men in America, those who are being locked up for pot so that they can, at the height of their physical strength, work in privatized prisons for corporations that pay them less than 20 cents per hour. Most of the house paint sold in America is now made by prison labor, in what would be called a Labor Camp, back in the days of the German “Homeland.”

Bam! Reductio ad Hitlerum. Roseanne Barr is the new Whoopi Goldberg.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

The troublesome part of Lindy’s “argument” with her white male comic cohorts is that it’s taking place at a time when people are being arrested off America’s streets for little more than being part of a particular ethnic or racial group. Anyone who targets any group or type of artist for being “too offensive” is helping to move public opinion away from freedom and toward the tyranny of surveillance.

Please know that when you address yourself to “white male comics,” lots of us out here are a little bit disturbed at this distinction. It’s privileged thinking to be unaware of the plight of working-class boys and young men in America, those who are being locked up for pot so that they can, at the height of their physical strength, work in privatized prisons for corporations that pay them less than 20 cents per hour. Most of the house paint sold in America is now made by prison labor, in what would be called a Labor Camp, back in the days of the German “Homeland.”

Bam! Reductio ad Hitlerum. Roseanne Barr is the new Whoopi Goldberg.

Ugh. Roseanne! She's also a transmisogynist. (She tweeted a few times about how she doesn't consider trans women to really be women). It's always so disappointing when stuff like this happens.

_________________If I chew on garlic that's been in a vagina, isn't that exploiting SOMEONE? - coldandsleepyAfter all, you can't spell Richard Dawkins without "dickwad". - EmperorTomatoKetchup

I think "girl crush" is super offensive and heterosexist so I'm glad to see it being talked about.

I totally agree, and just upthread I said I have used the term. I just never thought about it before someone mentioned it here. It's a good reminder that we're all a work in progress and even someone who considers them to be a lgbtq ally can use terms that are offensive, unknowingly/ignorantly, without meaning harm. And it's good to learn, and discussions like this are important.

_________________Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumblesIs this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface

I think "girl crush" is super offensive and heterosexist so I'm glad to see it being talked about.

I totally agree, and just upthread I said I have used the term. I just never thought about it before someone mentioned it here. It's a good reminder that we're all a work in progress and even someone who considers them to be a lgbtq ally can use terms that are offensive, unknowingly/ignorantly, without meaning harm. And it's good to learn, and discussions like this are important.

Yup. Every single last one of us needs a reminder to step outside of our own perspective once in awhile.

I'm not even sure if Roseanne's point is just going over my head or if it's as foolish as it sounds. Is she saying that it's not okay to criticize white men because some of them are working-class men who are forced to do prison labor? 'Cause I'm pretty sure it's mostly men of color who are targeted for this shiitake, so what she's saying is fairly useless.

_________________"One time I meant to send a potential employer a resume, but I accidentally sent them a bucket of puke!

I think "girl crush" is super offensive and heterosexist so I'm glad to see it being talked about.

I totally agree, and just upthread I said I have used the term. I just never thought about it before someone mentioned it here. It's a good reminder that we're all a work in progress and even someone who considers them to be a lgbtq ally can use terms that are offensive, unknowingly/ignorantly, without meaning harm. And it's good to learn, and discussions like this are important.

Yes, I had used the term and never really thought about it. I have learnt a great deal from this discussion.

_________________Everyone turns into Boo Radley, if they live long enough ~ seitanicversesThere are as many ways to live as there are humans in the world ~ SchwaGrrrl

I think "girl crush" is super offensive and heterosexist so I'm glad to see it being talked about.

I totally agree, and just upthread I said I have used the term. I just never thought about it before someone mentioned it here. It's a good reminder that we're all a work in progress and even someone who considers them to be a lgbtq ally can use terms that are offensive, unknowingly/ignorantly, without meaning harm. And it's good to learn, and discussions like this are important.

Yes, I had used the term and never really thought about it. I have learnt a great deal from this discussion.

Same.

_________________I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk

I think "girl crush" is super offensive and heterosexist so I'm glad to see it being talked about.

I totally agree, and just upthread I said I have used the term. I just never thought about it before someone mentioned it here. It's a good reminder that we're all a work in progress and even someone who considers them to be a lgbtq ally can use terms that are offensive, unknowingly/ignorantly, without meaning harm. And it's good to learn, and discussions like this are important.

Yes, I had used the term and never really thought about it. I have learnt a great deal from this discussion.

The troublesome part of Lindy’s “argument” with her white male comic cohorts is that it’s taking place at a time when people are being arrested off America’s streets for little more than being part of a particular ethnic or racial group. Anyone who targets any group or type of artist for being “too offensive” is helping to move public opinion away from freedom and toward the tyranny of surveillance.

Please know that when you address yourself to “white male comics,” lots of us out here are a little bit disturbed at this distinction. It’s privileged thinking to be unaware of the plight of working-class boys and young men in America, those who are being locked up for pot so that they can, at the height of their physical strength, work in privatized prisons for corporations that pay them less than 20 cents per hour. Most of the house paint sold in America is now made by prison labor, in what would be called a Labor Camp, back in the days of the German “Homeland.”

Bam! Reductio ad Hitlerum. Roseanne Barr is the new Whoopi Goldberg.

I don't even understand this. Is her argument that any critique of someone else's speech is an assault on free speech in general? And that an assault on free speech is a vote in favor of government surveillance? I'm not sure what other argument she's trying to make.

Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:03 pmPosts: 5709Location: The State Of No R's

Ugh, c'mon Roseanne! Seriously?

I think this is a good time to remember that women who stand on a platform and are supported to the top (she didn't get where she is on her own) can turn around and stab those same people in the back once they've firmly planted their feet at the top. It's really depressing to see it happen and I hope it reminds people to never forget where you came from and to support those who are still struggling. The fight isn't for you alone, it's for all of us.

_________________"...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious"We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian

Think about it: Women want sex, and in particular, they want sex with people who really want them. But socially, many straight men still find it a turnoff when women are sexual aggressors. Which means that, for women, aggressively pursuing the thing they want actually leads to them not getting it... The thing women are told they can access any time is, maddeningly, often just out of reach.

This definitely echoes my experience of online dating last year when I was a single lady! Guys were often put off, even slightly, by me being the aggressor or instigator and asking them out.

_________________"...anarchists only want to burn cars and punch cops."- nickvicious"We'll be eating our own words 30 years from now when we're demanding our legislators outlaw aerosol-based cyber dildo-wielding death holograms."- Brian

I encountered a man at a bus stop who inspected my appearance, asked me personal questions and touched my face. I caught myself thinking that maybe it was because he was elderly and maybe it was because it was his culture, but fork that - it's not my culture! My body isn't public property! I walked away very quickly.

I am tired of people referring to "slut shaming." That word is a forking slur! Stop using it! If someone uses a woman's gender and sexuality to degrade her, they are being misogynistic. End of story, no trendy terms necessary.

_________________"One time I meant to send a potential employer a resume, but I accidentally sent them a bucket of puke!

I am tired of people referring to "slut shaming." That word is a forking slur! Stop using it! If someone uses a woman's gender and sexuality to degrade her, they are being misogynistic. End of story, no trendy terms necessary.

I agree. Hate speech is hate speech, and I don't think "reclaiming" language that has been specifically devised and deployed to shame, denigrate, and hurt people is a particularly worthwhile endeavor, even if it were realistically possible (which I doubt). In fact, keeping these words around in a desperate attempt to massage them into meaning something that everyone knows they do not (and the more hateful they are, the more this is the case) inadvertently reifies their original meaning by the act of bringing attention to them. There are an enormous number of words in our language; we can easily afford to dispense with some of the ugliest and most hurtful ones.