LONDON: It was an abrupt end of lucrative career of twenty-three-year-old Sikh woman Harmohinder (Mindy) Sanghera, a student of Dentistry who is destined to spend the next 14 years in jail, after being convicted for the murder of a pregnant Muslim woman.

According to the Daily Times, Mindy fell in love with Muslim playboy businessman Sair Ali, but when she found out that he had secretly gone through with an arranged marriage to his teenage cousin, Sana Ali, she became consumed with jealousy and decided to eliminate the latter.

After writing hysterical letters in which she questioned whether she was turning into "a psycho", she waited until Sair was out for Friday prayers, confronted 17-year-old Sana, and stabbed her more than 40 times.

In a horrifyingly brutal climax, she then lifted the 11-weeks pregnant teenager's top and plunged the knife deep into her belly. On Thursday, Sanghera was found guilty of murder and jailed for life with a minimum term of 14 years.

The frenzied stabbing of a shy, innocent teenager while she carried an unborn child has horrified millions, but detectives soon discovered she was the unwitting victim of an inter-religious love triangle that would scandalise two communities.

Ali, whose family lives in a large detached house on the outskirts of Bury, Greater Manchester, had been betrothed to Sana, his first cousin, since she was nine.

But while Sana received a traditional, Muslim upbringing in Pakistan, back in Britain her future husband, now 25, was enjoying himself, conducting secret affairs and frequenting nightclubs.

Among his lovers was Mindy, whom he met in 2005. She is the youngest daughter of a respected Punjabi couple living in a 400,000-pound house in Solihull in the West Midlands.

Mindy was destined for a career in medicine after achieving straight As at King Edward the Sixth Grammar School. At the time of the killing she was approaching the end of a course at Birmingham University's School of Dentistry and had a posting lined up at one of the city's top practices

She and Sair conducted their affair in 135-pound-a-night rooms at a four-star hotel to keep it secret from their families. By last year she was besotted with him, saying she wanted to marry him and have children together. He told her they could never marry because his parents would never accept a Sikh daughter-in-law.

Sanghera, however, was convinced her future lay with him, and talked of converting to Islam. Westernised and previously not particularly religious, she started to abstain from alcohol, began wearing a headscarf and eating halal food.

Meanwhile, for 17-year-old Sana, preparations were being made for an elaborate wedding ceremony back in Pakistan, after which she joined her husband at the family home in Bury. Sana rarely ventured outside, and friends said her only interests were cooking and cleaning.

According to her mother, Maryam Fatima, she was lonely and disappointed in her new life with her Westernised husband, who stayed out late and had little in common with her.

Sair failed to consummate the marriage on their wedding night, and he admitted he would take Viagra before having sex with her, but by the spring of this year it was announced that she was pregnant.

It ought to have been the signal to his mistress that they had no future together, but by now she was beyond reason.

Sanghera would light candle after candle when he was away, never letting the flame die out, demanded that he phone her and speak to her until she fell asleep, and wrote to him saying she wanted to be his "golden girl".

At other times she would make abusive comments about Sana or demand to know whether they had had sex the night before.

Rather than cut off contact altogether, Sair agreed to keep seeing her until after her exams that summer, and they secretly entered a temporary Islamic marriage. Then finally, in the words of prosecutor Peter Wright QC, in her "jealousy and desperation" and frustration at her predicament, "she allowed all reason and good sense to desert her".

According to Wright, Mindy and Sair spoke by phone on the evening of May 10, discussing going away together that weekend. The following day, with Sair at mosque and his teenage brother at college, Sanghera drove to Bury. After duping the teenager to let her in, she went with Sana to the couple's bedroom, produced a six-and-a-half inch kitchen knife, and stabbed her 42 times.

Before fleeing, she plunged the blade into her belly. The baby, a boy who was to have been named Abdul, would have been due last week. Sanghera then calmly spoke to Sair on the phone before returning home, leaving his sister to discover the horrific scene.

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SPNer

this is why the men are the only real nishan of sikhi bcos kaurs t havin flings wit muslims the parents hav cut hair and wear khandas on thier necklaces the stupid brother thinks hes all hard and takes the credit of being punjabi when he has don nothin for punjab never mind sikhi

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SPNer

this is why the men are the only real nishan of sikhi bcos kaurs t havin flings wit muslims the parents hav cut hair and wear khandas on thier necklaces the stupid brother thinks hes all hard and takes the credit of being punjabi when he has don nothin for punjab never mind sikhi

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SPNer

The Singhs Wer Pag This Seems Unattrictive In My Oponion But In Scotland Thats Diffrent We Have A More Punjab Approach Were Gabruu Jawan Is Defined As Mucha And Pag And Monay Are Frowned Upon However Im Noly 14 Buts Thats My View By The Way Try To Persuade Ur Gurdwara To Start Camps To Teach Sikhi In Glasgow Haf The Monay Came Bak With Dastars

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SPNer

this is why the men are the only real nishan of sikhi bcos kaurs t havin flings wit muslims the parents hav cut hair and wear khandas on thier necklaces the stupid brother thinks hes all hard and takes the credit of being punjabi when he has don nothin for punjab never mind sikhi

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Maybe in Scotland there may be a lot of giddars but in London the majority of people who would be classed as fighters are monay. Look up the Shere Punjab thread and see how this has been discussed before.

Here is another link to another dumb bimbo whose managed to drop herself in deep doodoo a cuple of years ago because of her boyfriend.....

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SPNer

Omg, seriously some girls are just pure dumb, especially in this 'Mindy''s case....how can you take some1's life just b/c your so called love affair didn't work out....ppl are so selfish and self centred..all they ever think about is themselves..I really feel sorry for her family.....sometimes it's the parents fault too..they give their kids all the freedom in the world....they pay for their education....give them everything....they should make them work.............so they know/they understand how the bills are paid........if you know the relationship didn't work out...move on..........!!! it's not the end of the world......on top of that you convert to something that you have no clue of.....that's just stupid...your beliefs, culture is what defines you..........shows you the right and the wrong path....and clarify which one to pick..........ppl like this should be outcasted......

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SPNer

Good thing she is behind the bars...that's what she deserved...first of all falling for a fool then not learning from it...and still falling for the same fool...........I can't believe it how far ppl can goo.........how can you have so much hature that you can kill not one but two lives...especially when one is not even born yet........disgusting...

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SPNer

Not good ,atleast from a sikh girl.It is all due to the parents who had forgotten to sow the sikh seed in the girl's mind.Sex is not everything.If a muslim can remain as a good muslim than why a girl of sikh parents cannot remain a sikh after marriage.A great scholar like S.Kartar Singh Duggal's Wife is a muslim whereas Sardar Sahib has written many books about sikhism and even has translated Guru Granth Sahib in English and presently living as a true Gursikh.Sikh should remain a sikh.That's all.

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SPNer

WJKK WJKF
Let me start by saying that in no way do i condone the actions of this woman and fully agree with the sentence handed down to her by the british judicial system. This poor deluded girl strayed from the path and will need help to to rebuild her life. Without help she will continue to walk in darkness and her soul will be lost for ever. Every one can change and God forgives those who repent and admit their sins. Guru Nanak ji blessed men who had killed hundreds of men in the hope that they would return to the path of rightgousness, she will have served her mortal punishment and to continue to punish her will serve no purpose. A Sikh who empties his heart of anger and shows forgiveness is a true Sikh, I urge all who come into contact with her to show her forgiveness in the hope she to will return to the rightgous path and then let God be her judge. She will be hardened by the prison system but if we can teach her to have the same love and dedication for God that she had for the cheating boyfirend, then good could come from this appalling crime.
Tony

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SPNer

Guru Nanak ji blessed men who had killed hundreds of men in the hope that they would return to the path of rightgousness, she will have served her mortal punishment and to continue to punish her will serve no purpose. A Sikh who empties his heart of anger and shows forgiveness is a true Sikh, I urge all who come into contact with her to show her forgiveness in the hope she to will return to the rightgous path and then let God be her judge. She will be hardened by the prison system but if we can teach her to have the same love and dedication for God that she had for the cheating boyfirend, then good could come from this appalling crime.

Tony

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Tony ji

Its true that Guru Nanak blessed many people who killed many But It is also true that Guru gobind singh ji Punished many people.Forgiveness without Punishment will send wrong message to sikh youths.Many will do bad things and will later ask for forgiveness

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SPNer

Dear kds1980 ji
Your knowledge of the Guru jis may be far greater than mine your understanding seems far less, Guru Gobing Singh ji Punished those who after being shown the right path still continued to commit atrosaties against the weak. The girl will have been punished under English law and fortunately for her we dont have the death penalty, but still she will have been punished. Her crime was the ultimate Sin and she will live with that for the rest of her days. Your duty as a Sikh and I dont mean you personally is to learn and to teach the way of Truth, Her love for a man from another religion opened her heart to evil, maybe if we can show her love from our religion then after serving her punishment she will return to the path of truth. Is it not true that if a khalsa sikh cuts his hair, he has to serve a punishment, only then can he return. the sin is not of the same magnitude but still shows that there is forgiveness after punishment.
Tony

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SPNer

Dear kds1980 ji
Your knowledge of the Guru jis may be far greater than mine your understanding seems far less, Guru Gobing Singh ji Punished those who after being shown the right path still continued to commit atrosaties against the weak. The girl will have been punished under English law and fortunately for her we dont have the death penalty, but still she will have been punished. Her crime was the ultimate Sin and she will live with that for the rest of her days. Your duty as a Sikh and I dont mean you personally is to learn and to teach the way of Truth, Her love for a man from another religion opened her heart to evil, maybe if we can show her love from our religion then after serving her punishment she will return to the path of truth. Is it not true that if a khalsa sikh cuts his hair, he has to serve a punishment, only then can he return. the sin is not of the same magnitude but still shows that there is forgiveness after punishment.
Tony

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First of all Nowhere I said That there should be no Forgiveness after punishment

Secondly she had islamic marriage so It means she Could have converted to islam.Everyday thousands of non sikh Men and women commit crime.I don't understand
in this case from where the point of forgiveness come's from sikhism point of view.If after her punishment she truly wants forgiveness from God and want to practice sikhism then no one will stop her from entering Gurdwara or doing sewa.The question of forgiveness only arise if she will ask for forgiveness.

BTW one thing surprises me that when a woman commits crime some people ask for forgiveness while When news of a man killing his wife come or some dowry death or honour killing come's all people unanimously say that most strict punishment should be given to them

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SPNer

firstly I apologise for misunderstanding your post kds1980 ji. My misunderstanding arose due to the reference to Guru Gobing Singh Ji and the wrong message being sent out. I also dont discriminate between male or female all deserve forgiveness. In my experience when they come out of prison they are shameful and expect to be shunned by others, finding it hard to ask for help, therefore it is better to offer the hand of forgiveness than to wait for them to ask. some people show great remorse when there is someone willing to help and not comdem them.
Tony
ps it shouldnt matter what religion someone is if we view all as equal there is no Hindu nor muslim

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SPNer

I agree with you to some extent, but she was not a teenager that she didn't know what she was doing......she took two lives not one...that too one wasn't even born yet....it is very hard to forgive a person like that....how can one be so selfish and not think of the other...what had Sana and her baby done to her.....poor girl didn't even know that her hubby was having an affair on the side...we are humans...yea we are not perfect...but every1 has a brain to think, a conciousness to tell them what is right or wrong....plus I don't blame her parents.....it was her own choiceto take these actions.....she should be punished for them....

It's like the youth these days...b/c of the seperate Youth Trial System....they go beyond their reach to commit crimes b/c they know it won't stay on their record.....so many get away with 1st degree murders, sexual assaults...bullying...harrasement...you name it.....

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MentorWriterSPNerContributor

This sad story is not the only unique one in the Sikh families living in diaspora. What it teaches us is that there is an absence of communication, a big generational gap. Kids being seen by their parents through their own cultural lenses and expect kids to obey and understand them no matter what, whereas it is the parents who came here from distant lands should understand the kids who were born in different cultures than theirs.

It is easy to blame the girl who is an adult and fell in love with a shumuck who used and abused her, a good for nothing scumbag. But where were the parents when she needed their understanding and guidance and the tools for not to indulge in this kind of behaviour? She had a bright future. Did her parents practice the values they preached to her? Are they Sikhs only because they were born in Sikh families or were they practicing and sharing Sikh values with their kids?

There are more questions to be raised and answered rather than just to blame the girl who is paying for the crimes she commited. For me it shows that the blame lies in many which is an eye opener for all of us who have growing children in diaspora and even in India.

On the other day I came to know that a distant relative of mine's daughter fell in love with a Hindu while having born and brought up in Amritsar and forced her parents to marry him. The parents claim themselves to be devout Sikhs. Her father goes to Harmandir Sahib daily to help with the Palki sahib without fail.My question is where were they when this was happening? Why could not they track her tm's on cell phones and use other means to see when and how and why kids are going astray?Why could not they open the doors of taboos and instill the values and openmindedness? Where is the true love and kindnesss and understanding that we claim to have learnt by doing daily Nitnem? Is doing Paath just a part of ritual or narcissitic pat at the back as a feel good me-ism rather than practicing and sharing its nectar, especially in the family where it is needed the most?

All these questions need to be pondered upon because they may be the begining and a good warning for all of us as parents,siblings and friends.

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The parents i feel are certainly to blame ..preaching too much of secular values ...all r one ..all mankind is one ..and here you are...

My cousin sis is 13 years my junior, when was a kid she use to go to the neighborhood and use to mingle with muslims ..the parents use to not have any objections then..

As she grew up she knew more about about fajr ki namaz then about Amrit Vela...now as she is in her teens ..they r madly worried ..they have never inculcated any religous thoughts in her...her language is laced with urdu....

i was always frowned upon at that time ..but they now agree with me ...

One day i spoke to her ..and we had a long discussion...i inroduced her to whyichosesikhsim.com and told her what was going on...

there has been some improvement...she knows the difference..and wants to go to the Gurudwara....

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SPNer

WJKK WJKF
I think kds1980 ji and Rani ji have misunderstood me on this issue, I firmly agree with you both in that all crimes or sins should be punished and actually think that a minimum term of 14yrs is to leaniant for the taking of 1 life let alone 2, but that is the judges decision not mine, so before i commented on this i thought long and hard as to why such a well educated normally level headed girl could commit such an awful crime, I tried to put myself in her position and to do that you must take into account all the factors, not just the moment leading up to the actual crime. I spoke to my partner of her up bring, how her father told her to stick up for herself and the sikhi value of defending and fighting for what you hold dear to yourself. She also referred to sikh history of how they fought to protect the right to be sikh and boy is that a violent one, so now even though her family may not of shown or come into contact with violence the value of fighting is still instilled, now apply this to her situation, she is madly in love all be it with a lying cheating Rat it was a love that she was prepared to change her faith for, then along comes the other lady, the enemy, she see's her as someone who is trying to forcefully take the love of her life away. With all the lies she had been told adding Sikh history and values, coupled with jealousy, a blind love and in her mind she can now justify to herself that she is about to do the right thing. I'm in no way justifying what she has done but it becomes easier to see why. This is one reason why sometimes it is not always a good thing to dwell or keep promoting violent historical stories like the one Antonia ji put a link to in another thread, as beautiful a story it is (it brought a tear to my eye) its still contains violence and can lead to some people taking it out of the context it was intended. I may be wrong about this girl we will not know untill her release but with a lot of help i dont think she's the sort to reoffend.
Tony
ps Rajkhalsa ji good luck with your cousin sis, a little patience and an understanding ear go along way.

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SPNer

With all the lies she had been told adding Sikh history and values, coupled with jealousy, a blind love and in her mind she can now justify to herself that she is about to do the right thing. I'm in no way justifying what she has done but it becomes easier to see why. This is one reason why sometimes it is not always a good thing to dwell or keep promoting violent historical stories like the one Antonia ji put a link to in another thread, as beautiful a story it is (it brought a tear to my eye) its still contains violence and can lead to some people taking it out of the context it was intended. I may be wrong about this girl we will not know untill her release but with a lot of help i dont think she's the sort to reoffend.

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Tony ji

There is much more voilence shown in Tv serials,films ,video games infact what she has done is so commonly shown In Hindi tv serials ,.so by your logic There should be no films
,Tv serials and video games

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This Shabad is found on Page 793 of Guru Granth Sahib Maharaj, in Raag Suhi. The Shabad here is accompanied by Manmohan Singh's translation. As is typical of Bhagat Kabir Ji, he urges the human being to 'stop and think', to contemplate on his actions, to realise the Naam that is enshrined...

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