I still can’t believe that I’m pregnant. Most of the time I feel like these will be the longest 9 months ever and will we ever get our little baby girl and summer is gonna take forever. And then there are the times when I can’t get it into my head that our first child is baking away inside me and that in just 4 short months she’ll be out to change our lives forever. Will I even understand that I’m gonna be a mom before I am one? Or before I’ve been one for years? Because compared to my husband, I should be the one who is understanding this. If I don’t wrap my head around it in time, there’s no way he, who isn’t carrying around the obviously living proof, will.

But maybe that’s how most people do it. Maybe there’s not really anything I can do to comprehend this beforehand. And that I’ll just have to learn that role along the way. Technically, the baby won’t know the difference… since she’s gonna have to take a while to learn to be a daughter too, I guess.

That makes me feel a little better.

Until then I’ll just grit my teeth and do this pregnancy thing and learn along the way. Being hungry as a wolf every hour, having a hard time falling asleep, getting up to pee three times every night, craving smells rather than food (oh my goodness, sat with my nose in a new shoe for way too long today until I realized it probably wasn’t the healthiest choice. Putting it down was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done), having crying being an actual physical need (by crying I mean bawling)…

I wonder what it felt like to not be pregnant…. can’t remember?

Baby is doing great I think! She’s kicking away a ton every day at least. Both up, down and directly on bladder. Eeesch!!

She’s getting bigger! So fast at times I feel like I’m stretched as wide as I can and that the smallest twist or turn will make a stretch mark. According to the fruit sizing she’s the size of a grapefruit this week… which is obviously remarkably bigger than last week’s papaya.