Adara's
waters broke and soon after that she began to sink. She disappeared
beneath the tarry, black surface of the ocean, and the baby floated
up to the top, startled and bemused. He
was wearing inflated armbands - they had been fitted to his arms while
he was still in the womb - and he bobbed along the tide towards the
shore, staring up at the horizon as it flickered with the ebb and
flow. He was hot. He was warm-blooded like his human mother. His father
was a lizard who worked for the miliatary.

When
he reached the shore he was greeted by the delegates. They wore checked
ties, paisley waistcoats and fixed, ecstatic smiles. There was a delegate
from every country in the world except for Namibia, who had boycotted
the birth on moral and religious grounds. The global press branded
Namibia old-fashioned, and the international community declared war.

The
baby's name was Edam. It was supposed to be Adam, to symbolise rebirth
and mankind's first genetic crossbreed. But there had been a typo
in Geneva, so now he was named after the cheese with the famous red
rind.

The
delegate from the United Kingdom spoke first - it seemed appropriate
since the half-breed's mother was Scottish. Well, she had once been
Scottish. Now she was just fish food.

"Welcome
Edam. Welcome to the world." The delegate fiddled with his spectacles
as he spoke. He appeared nervous, but inwardly he was beaming at the
importance of his words. His was a critical role in human development.
So much depended on the next few minutes: would the baby respond?
It had been taught English, German and Esperanto while in Adara's
womb. There was no reason to believe the education had been anything
other than totally successful.

"Hello",
said Edam, spitting seaweed out of his round mouth. "Was it really
necessary to drown my mother?"

The
UK delegate pushed his spectacles up and cleared his throat.

"It
was an unfortunate necessity. I am truly sorry, but your birth must
remain top secret."

"Boy,"
said Edam, "That sucks."

"Have
you any other questions? If not, we should get you into the secure
complex as soon as possible..."

"Just
one question. If you answer it correctly, I will co-operate. If you
answer incorrectly, I will destroy you." The baby's eyes gleamed
with nascent power.

"Alright,"
said the UK delegate, sweat dripping off his brow like gravy. "Ask
away."

"How
long will I live?"

A
murmur arose as the delegates conferred. Some were puzzled and others
were panicky. The French delegate ran off towards the hotel. After
a number of minutes the Swiss delegate - a hefty blonde woman in her
forties, wearing a black business suit - replied:

"You
will live over two-hundred years. You are invulnerable to disease
and you twice as slowly as normal human beings."

The
baby smiled an innocent smile, toothless and brave. "I'm afraid
you're wrong. I won't live to see dawn."

And
with that, Edam pulled the pin from his grenade and exploded, showering
the front delegates with blood, bone, skin and the remnants of his
orange armbands

Women
screamed. So did men. Only the inscrutable Peruvian delegate remained
calm, chewing on a cocoa leaf and looking idly at his watch.

He
coughed under his breath and mumbled to himself. "It is getting
late. I'm hungry." He wandered back to the hotel and ordered
himself a steak.