Kursusdeltagers recovery-historie

Thank you very much for the excellent course, you held last year in Odense, Denmark. Since then, I have read your too books; Førstehjælp ved psykoser og Stemmehøring. These have given me a lot of help.

I am 35 years old.I began hearing voices when I was 14 years old (My mother died earlier that year.)

In the beginning she was calling out for help in my head, but later on it changed to be reprimands of every thing I did and did not do. Nothing I did was good enough.

At that time, I did not talk to any body about me hearing voices. I thought that it was normal. In 1997 I got a severe depression and I was admitted to psychiatric hospital. It was here I started hearing my second voice - My own voice. This voice also gave me reprimands like my mothers voice, but it also made me contemplating suicide.

At the psychiatric hospital I was given a lot of medicine and until 2006 I went in and out of the hospital. At that time, I remember feeling like a marionette doll, with no control over my own life. I felt like being isolated from the world and without any energy left in me.

In December 2005 I moved in to a treatment centre in Roskilde – Glim Refugium. At that time, I had no hope left in me, and I thought that it would be my termini. After some time at Glim Refugium, I regained my hope through the people I met. They gave me respect and security.

It was not long after my arrival at Glim Refugim, that I attended your course in Odense. This course gave me a lot of tools so I could work with my voices. I did all the assignments in your books and at the same time I had many deep conversations with my contact at Glim Refugium. Throughout these conversations we have talked about my voices and the influence they had on my life. Amongst other things, we made a profile of my mother. Making this profile, meant that I was able to let go of the hatred towards my mother, and therefore also able to forgive her. All this has resulted in the disappearing of my mother’s voice. However, sometimes she just says: ”May the peace be with you”.

My second voice– my own voice, did recede into the background in line with my mothers voice disappearing. It seamed like they were allied, and as my mothers voice were disappearing, it was too weak to survive on its own. Now he sounds like his is in a box, and I can not hear what he is saying. Together with my contact, I have discovered that my second voice is me as a little critical boy. Now I only hear him when I am stressed orpsychological under pressure.

At the time when I moved in at Glim Refugium I was strongly medicated. The doctors did not even know how all these medicines harmonize with each other. I became very sick from all this medicine. In the summer of 2006, I was ascribed a new psychiatrist who agreed that my medication were to be reduced. Since then I have reduced my medicine to practically nothing. This I am very thankful for. After all this time, I am now able to feel something and I am in touch of my emotions and senses like never before.

I have been trough it all, so I know what I talk about.

To get where I am today, my patience has been severely tried.I now know that patience is crucial. It is my experience that when you start working with your voices, they will do anything to survive. That is why it is crucial to be in possession of patience and mental resources. And as you say – there is no medal for finishing fast.

At the time I was to move to Glim Refugium, there were talk about the purpose of my stay and which goals we should work towards. At that time these goals seamed unrealistic and I did not believe in them. As I had done so many times before, I just nodded and thought that I could lean back and not see any changes in my life. After a couple of months, I realized that is was my last chance to get better and to change my life. I decided to give it a chance.

My contacts at Glim Refugium, gave me faith and hope in my future. I can not tell you in details what has happens since, but I can tell that it certainly has cost me blood, sweat, toil and tears.

Finally I can tell you that I, after 1½ years, have achieved the goals that were laid down for me. In September this year, I start working as a butcher in a store. This means that I now may look for some new goals in life.