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I know what you mean!
I used to have a program on my Windows machine that stopped this problem; I've searched for the darned thing and I can't come up with the installation file or the name of it.
I did find this while Googling, though:
http://www.nordichardware.com/news,1644.html [nordichardware.com]
Claims to be a registry hack that prevents apps from stealing focus.