SELFIE

“It’s not my fault everyone always wants to do what I do. It’s like when I got bangs, and then Michelle Obama got bangs. And when I said, ‘Kids are so fat!’ and then she jumped on the whole childhood obesity bandwagon. And then, when I started wearing lots of sleeveless stuff? Who suddenly had their arms showing all the time? The First Lady of Nonstop Riding My Jock!”

Eliza (Karen Gillan) refuses to take the blame when Henry (John Cho) complains that her desire to go swimming caused everyone else on their weekend getaway to abandon the idea of horseback riding

SLEEPY HOLLOW

”’No campaigning at polling place.’ That’s absurd! General Washington gave each voter a pint of beer at the ballot box.”

[Abbie sticks an “I voted” sticker on Ichabod’s lapel]

“Feel better?”

“Yes, oddly.”

Ichabod (Tom Mison) rails against contemporary voting rules… but is mollified by a gesture from his fellow Witness Abbie (Nicole Beharie)

THE BIG BANG THEORY

“Sheldon, there’s something else I’ve been wanting to say. But before I do, I just want you to know that you don’t have to say it back. I know you’re not ready, and I don’t want you to say it just because social convention dictates—”

NEW GIRL

“It’s a home visit, Jess, and not just from any cop — it’s from Sergeant Tess Dorado, ‘the Fish!’ I’m pretty sure they call her ‘the Fish’ because she’s tough, but fair, just like most fish I’ve interacted with.”