Douglas Adams Explains The Innate Fascination With Towels

Earlier today, we presented a clip that showed how civilized Americans at a Wal Mart approach the opportunity to save a buck on a towel. Some may have been surprised by the raw and concentrated ambition and fury exhibited by these specimen who would put any rioter in Athens' Syntagma square to shame. Luckily, we have Douglas Adams of the Hitchhiker's Guide fame to explain the implicit fascination with "the towel." After all, when given the opportunity to face the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal with a cheaper than market price self-defense mechanism, who can possibly say no?

Indeed, this unfortunate chap would require the services of said towel after shooting himself to stem the flow of jam. Yet another invaluable use for the towel.

I like to wrap silver maples in my towel before putting them in plastic tubes under the soil as recommended by friends on ZH. Again, towel efficiency.

Another use for the towel is as a vehicle of submission, like when Merkil finally throws in the German towel to the ECB Printing ring instead of laying her towel on the Greek beaches. Again, an effective use.

One fine use for a towel would be as a weapon of death used to string up some of these pricks trying to run the country.

What? Are you a towel who feels threatened by the consumer rabble? Maybe you have towel friends who's safety you worry about? Or is the Glock to make sure that you get a towel if you ever find yourself competing for scarce cheap resources? Or maybe you just have a gun fetish? I don't get it...

When baby back Ben finally learns how to leave the collapsing pocket before it collapses I'll work on my Karma. On the other hand Ben seems to enjoy inflicting heart attacks on his fans so whom am I to complain? And they are winning, which is another plus for Beefy Ben McRib.

cd - i'm really surprised you would be a little ben backer after what was clearly his so many unwanted transgressions against the fairer sex. he would be in prison if he wasn't white and rich. many times over.

Caliber starting with a .4 just means you get spendy when you feed it. But then again I love caliber wars, people get downright defensive and downright kool-aidy when talking how their .45 makes people die just by being mentioned with a stern look.

That and how a drugged out meth-head with a bad attitude will merely laugh if you shoot him with a 9mm even if you use all the ammunition in all the magazines you have.

This is just silly. I'm GIVING AWAY FACEHUGGERS next week---NOW that's bullish for 10 millimeter caseless, running shoes, gauze, pulserifles,AND body armor. SEE? THAT's how you stimulate the economy-Place the average citizen in a fight-or-get-impregnaated-by-hungry- damn-near-unstoppable killing-machines-scenario-and all else becomes SECONDARY. Economic STIMULUS? I DARESAY.Fucking amateurs.They'll need towels just to mop up the blood. and again, BULLISH for LYSOL. this is how you get to head an ORBITAL interstellar conglomerate;