Reaper: Fast cars and fast women

then you may or may not be pleased by this episode. This week’s Reaper featured Sam’s usual problems. The random vessel, an escaped soul from hell, and love troubles with Andi, but he finally made a connection with another woman.

The episode starts with Sam, Ben and Sock heading to their usual bar with the intention of leaving arm in arm with a woman. At first, the guys were having no luck, so Sock decided to make the first move by going over to the jukebox and dancing by himself. I felt embarrassed for the jukebox to tell you the truth, but all of a sudden I these women started to dance with him and soon enough they were all sitting at the table with each other. Sam made a particular impression on a girl named Taylor who, upon sitting down, started kissing Sam. I was ready to jump to conclusions about her character, but then she was nice enough to explain herself by telling everyone that she had drank ten Long Island iced teas. The girls pressure Sam to dance and, after he makes a lame excuse, the guys find themselves at the table alone again, but not before Sam gets Taylor’s number.

The next day at the Work Bench brings Sam’s newest vessel: the soundtrack of a ’70s movie on an 8-track tape. Unfortunately, it didn’t come with a player, so Sam tried to play it on some of the devices at work – he had no luck. So he left for the break room to prepare some coffee and found himself teleported to the scene of a fiery accident. He finds out that Satan has brought him there to show him what the newest escaped souls from hell can do. Apparently, everyone in the accident was killed except for Kit and Holly, who left the scene unscathed. If that wasn’t suspicious enough, we find out that amidst the wreckage of the muscle car that the escaped souls were driving, one of the songs from Sam’s 8-track tape was playing.

Sam is teleported back to the Work Bench where he, Ben and Sock reluctantly meet their co-worker, Russell. He is a big muscle car enthusiast and so the gang asks him about where muscle car enthusiasts gather. He tells them about a vacant lot near Chinatown and the guys drive there after work. There’s a lot of people there so, clueless as to how to use the vessel, Sam takes out an 8-track player and the tape, lifts it over his head, and starts playing it as loud as he can. Soon enough, a young couple starts dancing with one another to the music. After the music stops the couple turn around and begin running away from Sam and the gang. Sam and Sock chase after them into a parking garage. Up the stairs they go until they’re at the roof, where upon getting there, the couple leap off of the roof onto the cars below. Poor Ben had parked in the wrong space that day. They came crashing down and after a couple of seconds they got up, reconnected their limbs and necks, and ran off again. I know what you’re thinking, ‘why do they have regenerative powers like Claire Bennet from Heroes?’ Well, I don’t know, but Holly did have wavy, blonde hair like Claire. Do you think Claire has a sister? Well, that’s a whole other post entirely, let’s get back to Reaper.

It’s a new day at the Bench and Sam gets teleported again, but this time the devil takes him to a wedding – don’t worry nobody’s dead here. He gives him some small words of advice/temptation, it really depends upon how you look at it. He tells Sam that he should give up searching for real love and just give in to his inner desires. As Satan leaves, Taylor walks out the church dressed in a bridesmaid gown and the two schedule a date for drinks at the bar where they first met.

The guys are ready to catch the souls so they decide to trick them by selling Russell’s muscle car online in hopes that they will want to purchase it. Kit and Holly have a thing for causing major accidents with muscle cars, the thing about it is, the cars usually can’t handle their level of “fun” so they have to steal a different car every time. It doesn’t take long before Kit and Holly show up. Sam hides behind a van waiting for the cue to ambush them. The only problem is that Holly won’t get out of the car and after Sock and Ben keep asking for her to get out of the car, Kit starts to get suspicious. Soon enough, things start to get heated and Sam has no choice but to jump out with the 8-track playing at maximum volume. The reel on the 8-track tape comes out and starts mummifying Kit and dragging him towards the player. As he starts to disintegrate, Kit yells to Holly “I will see you at midnight.”

Finally, the movie that the 8-track soundtrack corresponds to comes in the mail, but unfortunately it’s a Beta tape and it doesn’t come with a player. The gang is forced to go to Russell’s house and watch the tape. He makes them feel extremely awkward and then, when you thought it couldn’t get worse, he starts to offer them these drugs from all over the place. Amidst their refusals, the gang hear an engine rev in the distance and before they knew it a car drives into the house and runs over Russell. Don’t worry he’s not dead. Out steps Holly and she demands that Sam give her the 8-track tape. He grabs a 70’s hit music soundtrack from off a nearby coffee table and Holly leaves. They rush to Russell to see whether he’s only able to mutter three words: “Flush the drugs.”

Back at the Bench, Andi leads Sam to her Ted-Free Zone so that he can watch the movie. It’s a sofa and beverage center hidden within the boxes in the back. The movie starts with a guy and a girl who bare a similar resemblance to Kit and Holly meeting at a gas station, but not how you think they did. The guy was actually robbing the girl behind the register and soon they find themselves kissing each other. Later on in the movie the two kill some guy at a place called Midnight Auto Body Shop before driving off into the sunset. The End. Cue credits.

Sam, Sock and Ben head over to a shop called Midnight Auto Body Shop. Don’t ask me why there’s a Midnight Auto Body Shop in town because the only answer I can give you is that it’s there because this episode would have been less interesting if it wasn’t. When the guys walk into the shop, they are ambushed by Holly and to combat it, Sock pushes a suspended engine into her and pushes her through a wall. Crack here, crack there and she’s back together again. She ties up the guys threatening to blowtorch them to death if they don’t free Kit for her. Running out of ideas, Sock and Ben start singing the song from the soundtrack and immediately Holly starts dancing like she’s in a trance. Sam takes advantage of the opportunity to grab the 8-track player and turns on the tape again. Holly gets mummified by tape reel and sent back to hell.

To celebrate the guys go the bar where Sam will be having his date and have a couple of drinks before Taylor shows up. Sam remembers Satan’s advice and decides to be spontaneous. Minutes later, we find the two in a closet at the bar kissing. It doesn’t take long before Sam asks Taylor if they could slow down. The next thing we see is Sam sitting at the bar by himself. Satan shows up and encourages Sam saying that he just wanted to help. “I am sorry I pushed that whole Taylor thing on you Sam. I didn’t realize that you were homosexual. You actually told her ‘can we slow down?’ Do you know what that sound is? It’s the sound of every man on earth laughing at you.” I was laughing after I heard this myself. Do you think that the devil could be psychic?

Sam argues that he’s waiting for true love and not just for lust. He even questions whether Satan has ever had love. The devil says no, but as the episode closes Satan uses his power to turn the jukebox onto a sad song about being lonely in love as he sits at the bar by himself. Do you think the devil could have ever loved and is that even possible for that matter?

Reaper airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on the CW.

This piece was written by a student in the Chronicle Classroom. Fourteen students from six HISD schools come to The Houston Chronicle every day for two hours to learn the ins and outs of journalism.