Monday, April 06, 2009

I checked my blog recently and suddenly realized that I’d let an entire month pass by without posting another exciting, interesting, or even mind boggling story. Actually, that’s not a stretch for me since I let the entire year of 2007 fly by without writing even a line on THE GRIND. Hey, what can I say? 2007 was a huge transitional year for me where I always used the famous excuse, “It must be writer’s block.” Hence, here we are; 2009 and no post(s) for March. I assure you, I let my problems in life get me down so low that it paralyzed my drive to write. It happens sometimes and that same parlayed feeling came over me in 2007. But I’ve turned a new leaf and as each day passes, I work on making myself a better person, a better writer/blogger, and even a better woman. Therefore, I will gradually ease into loading more stories in a faster and more efficient time span.

Over the past few years, I’ve received a tremendous amount of feedback since the blog was born circa 2005. Some advice good, some bad, some very ugly; but I take it all in and soak it up like a giant sponge. Even if it’s bad, at least someone is talking about the blog and/or me. Many will say, “Joi, I read your blog. It’s funny and entertaining.” Others will say, “I’ve been reading your blog and it’s so real.” And then some will even say, “I read your blog; I wish that I had your life. I want to whisk away to LA on a minute's notice.” I smile with every comment and give myself an imaginary pat on the back, if I can help or teach one person from my sick, twisted, and inspiring journey in life then that’s what matters to me.

But let me explain something, perception is everything, sometimes. It can even seems like reality in some cases. Yes, I did whisk away to LA to visit Bruce Wayne (on business and on extremely short notice).Yes, I did have the most exciting, most memorable trip to Barcelona and Ibiza this past summer. Yes, I am very blessed and have had the most amazing opportunities thrown my way (or I created them myself). However, maybe I’m not real enough on this blog I call, THE GRIND. Maybe I have not shown you that I work hard, long hours most days and get little sleep other days. Maybe I have not been raw enough. Maybe I have not explained to you that I just dished out $100 to a plumber so that he could fix a serious 4 month or more leak from my bathroom toilet knowing that same $100 was definitely my grocery money. Hey, I’m a writer by choice, intern by day, waitress/bartender by night. I’m sure you can understand my need to count and pinch every penny in my sad bank account, especially in these times.

I remember one day last week, returning phone calls and speaking with several of my friends, and even my mother. I felt like I was talking to the same person with a different name. Everyone sounded as if life had gotten the best of them. Their spirits were broken. All of them had confided in me and I noticed that they (my friends) were just as bad off as I am, especially in these times. It hurt me more that I’m not in a position to help them. Hell, I can barely help myself. I came to the realization that just when you think that you’ve got it bad, someone is always in a worse situation than you. I always thought that was a joke, until I witnessed it for myself on that day. I aim to stay in a positive mind set while continuing to grow through it all. My cousin, Miss Lawyergirl said to me that she’s tired of hearing all of the positive mumbo-jumbo. She proclaims herself as a realist; someone who has the disposition to face the facts and to deal with them pratically. Hey, I’m a realist too. It’s essential to be one, especially in these times. But don’t we all agree that optimism is much sexier then cynicism?

“To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.” –Eckhart Tolle, best-selling author of the book, The Power of Now.

"sexier" is reaching sis. I think, when we (as in humanity ppl not joi and myself) find ourselves walking into darkness, optimism may provide a false light that leads us deeper into that darkness. With that being said, cynicism may keep us there. Both optimism and cynicism can be dangerous yet a little of both creates a balance or "realism".I know I'm going to seem defensive and/or negative, however, like your cousin, I consider myself a realist, who at times slips into cynicism not when "hearing all of the positive mumbo-jumbo" but when seeing all of the negative. Lastly, I dislike the quote you provided with this blog entry. During these hardtimes we're all going through "it" sis. Are we complaining or venting? Are we looking for sympathy or comfort in the fact that we're not alone? I don't know all of your friends, hell, they may be a complaining bunch of b**, always looking for an "aww, I'm sorry" butI highly doubt you surround yourself with that.Out of all of my loved ones I'm the last to complain, mainly because I'm private as all hell and see no good in it. But there are times when I too am backed up with negative eh..shit and a laxative of the mouth, with a friendly ear cleans(gross, I know) me out.

Hmm, I like what you said Anonymous, that sometimes "venting" can sound like "complaining", it's true, we all can use a little venting now and again. If it's just that, healthy venting, and after a day or so you're able to keep on keepin' on. I have to say, though, that I like the quote:

“To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.” –Eckhart Tolle, best-selling author of the book, The Power of Now.

Being a hot mess of an optimist myself, and I've been getting a healthy dose of reality lately, I have to say that I'm actually enjoying myself. In a masochistic way... I mean, really... how bad COULD it get?... would we make it? would it change the fabric of our society? I mean REALLY...

I think that the quote is right when it says that someone who is complaining has given up power. They have accepted, for themselves, that no change can be made. That the shit-filled soup is there for them to suck up in their own time!While we may have, in reality, a big bowl of the aforementioned soup in front of us, and while we may have no choice but to start in on it or starve, by AT LEAST accepting that's what's for dinner tonight, we may look forward and take action in order to make sure there's no shit in tomorrow night's soup!