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America Enraged As Hundreds of Gold Statues Held in Camps at Californian Border

HOLLYWOOD, CA – The Academy Awards have yet to find a host for this year’s ceremony, as The Oscar’s Shutdown continues. While Ellen campaigns for Kevin Hart on her show, and Americans scour Twitter for a member of the Hollywood Elite with a clean feed, hundreds of solid bronze, 24-karat plated gold statuettes remain without a home at the border of California. Weighing 8.5 pounds, and standing just above a foot tall, these figures were not built to withstand the harsh winds and rain of the outdoors, which is what is prompting Americans to take swift action.

“This is what deserves all of our attention and outrage right now,” tweets @averageAmerican123. “This and only this!”