Let me recap the weekend so you guys at least think I have a bit of a social life. Friday night, I stayed in. Off to a great start! I was supposed to go out for a friend’s birthday but I binge ate some awesome Chinese food for dinner and felt really gross after. It was a great decision at the time, a little chicken and eggplant action, but then after I ate it, I was a little sorry. Not a lot sorry. I never regret what I eat except the time I had a horrendous panini and almost cried how gross it was. I seriously wanted to throw it up and have a lunch do-over. But I won’t talk bulemic talk on here, because if you know me, I could never be. I LOVE EATING AND DIGESTING my food. Tangent. On Saturday I did a massive shopping in Westchester (IKEA, Target, Home Depot, Stew Leonards) and got a lot of errands done for the office. I walked through IKEA, pretending each mini apartment was mine. Doesn’t everyone do that? Like in 500 Days of Summer. I would hire people to decorate my entire apartment in IKEA except I would like to actually use the furniture before it falls apart. I own a coffee table from there, the cheapest one they make, so I shouldn’t be surprised that when I put my feet on it, it comes apart. I figure it was so cheap, once it breaks I could always buy a new one. One day, I hope to buy the coffee table of my dreams, an upholstered leather one from Pottery Barn, sighhh. What do you mean all girls don’t dream about coffee tables?

After exhausting myself at these stores, I came back into the city and decided that I could really use to shower. Some people would consider me strange because I hate getting wet. Swimming, showering, rain, none of these things appeal to me. Also, my hair requires a lot of work, so showering is also annoying and takes forever. It’s always a hassle for me. Some may think I am gross, but I am a very clean person who does shower regularly, I just hate it. I think it would be a totally different story if my head was shaved but I’m not going to go all Sinead O’Connor on you guys any time soon.

Ballsy.

I decided that the only way I was going to get my lazy butt in the shower on Saturday was to go out. My hair looked like crap so I knew I couldn’t go out looking that bad, so I HAD to shower. I ended up going to a friend’s friends birthday party at Botanica in Nolita. No website. Sorry guys. It was divey, yet trendy and served these awesome Ginger drinks. I had a Dark and Stormy and a Ginger Yum Yum that had Rosemary vodka in it! How delish! Then I moved over to some beers just because I didn’t want a repeat of Fat Tuesday. I don’t remember saying this, but I was told days later that when we left the bar, I slipped on some ice and yelled “I’m Michelle Kwan!” I hope everyone laughed at me because I am straight up ridiculous. You don’t even want to know what goes on in my head, but when I’m drunk, sometimes things slip out. Yikes!

On Sunday, I had high hopes of buying a lot of new clothes. You know when you think your closet is the most boring closet in the world? Well mine might be. Everything I own is black. I am a New Yorker, but sometimes I don’t really want to look like I’m heading to a funeral. So I was hoping big for this day and it didn’t really pan out. My sister on the other hand serious banked some sweet duds. I’m jealous. Especially because I really liked a shirt she got and she wouldn’t let me get it because apparently we already look enough alike, so why wear the same shirt. Ugh.

Isn’t it cute? I just want to put my hair up in a side pony with a scrunchee, wear some stirrup leggings and jazzercise. Instead, I sit here in my apartment, watching Forrest Gump and eating Fluff. Goodnight everyone!