How much say do you have in SO's appearance...?

How much say do you have in your SO's appearance and how much say do they have in yours? Do you tell each other how to dress, do your hair etc.? Do you know of each other's preferences and make an effort to look in a way that your SO finds attractive? Or do you have a "I'm going to do what I want, he/she can take it or leave it" type attitude?--My DH might not cut (or wash...) his hair as often as I'd like, he smokes (which I find icky), he rarely shaves and he doesn't keep up with clipping his nails all the time. I deal with these things with a smile. I don't necessarily like those things, but I feel like "Eh, whatever." You win some, you lose some. But there is ONE silly little thing that I can't handle. Mustache. When my husband shaves his face and leaves a little mustache, I suddenly find myself not attracted to him at all. I can grin and bare it when his face is scruffy and a mustache is part of the equation, but when it's just that nasty little mustache, I can't stand it. I think it makes him look like a total douchenozzle. I don't want to kiss him and I definitely don't want to have sex with him. Sorry. Can't help it. He walked out of the bathroom with it this morning and it literally made me cringe.

He prefers that I don't cut my hair short. That's the one thing he's picky about. He doesn't find short hair on women attractive; something about it not seeming feminine to him (he refuses to call me "Syd" for the same reason). The one thing he's asked of me is to not chop my hair off, so I haven't. I could, it's not like he demanded that I don't cut my hair, but I won't because I know he would find it unattractive. Maybe I should chop all my hair off to make a point? :)

How much say do you have in your SO's appearance and how much say do they have in yours? Do you tell each other how to dress, do your hair etc.? Do you know of each other's preferences and make an effort to look in a way that your SO finds attractive? Or do you have a "I'm going to do what I want, he/she can take it or leave it" type attitude?--My DH might not cut (or wash...) his hair as often as I'd like, he smokes (which I find icky), he rarely shaves and he doesn't keep up with clipping his nails all the time. I deal with these things with a smile. I don't necessarily like those things, but I feel like "Eh, whatever." You win some, you lose some. But there is ONE silly little thing that I can't handle. Mustache. When my husband shaves his face and leaves a little mustache, I suddenly find myself not attracted to him at all. I can grin and bare it when his face is scruffy and a mustache is part of the equation, but when it's just that nasty little mustache, I can't stand it. I think it makes him look like a total douchenozzle. I don't want to kiss him and I definitely don't want to have sex with him. Sorry. Can't help it. He walked out of the bathroom with it this morning and it literally made me cringe.

He prefers that I don't cut my hair short. That's the one thing he's picky about. He doesn't find short hair on women attractive; something about it not seeming feminine to him (he refuses to call me "Syd" for the same reason). The one thing he's asked of me is to not chop my hair off, so I haven't. I could, it's not like he demanded that I don't cut my hair, but I won't because I know he would find it unattractive. Maybe I should chop all my hair off to make a point? :)

We take each other'sÂ preferenceÂ into consideration. I definitely don't have that attitude that you described. My husband loves my hair long, I like it shorter, but I keep it long because I know how much he loves it. I like when he has a full beard, but this summer he wants to shave it because it gets hot, so I am going to help him shave it :)Â Â Â As far as things like nails, teeth, etc...he is a freak about it. He clips his nails at least once a week. Gets his hair cut every 2-4 weeks and I don't think I have ever smelled bad breath on him. Oh, and he showers daily, sometimes twice.

We take each other'sÂ preferenceÂ into consideration. I definitely don't have that attitude that you described. My husband loves my hair long, I like it shorter, but I keep it long because I know how much he loves it. I like when he has a full beard, but this summer he wants to shave it because it gets hot, so I am going to help him shave it :)Â Â Â As far as things like nails, teeth, etc...he is a freak about it. He clips his nails at least once a week. Gets his hair cut every 2-4 weeks and I don't think I have ever smelled bad breath on him. Oh, and he showers daily, sometimes twice.

I'm pretty lucky DH takes good care of himself, I don't care if he grows a bread though it scratches like hell for the first 2-3 days, he guest grow it very long because it starts to bug him. I do prefer that he keep his hair short (as it turns into a giant puff ball if it gets to long). The only thing DH has said anything about is he likes my hair long, do as long as he is willing to wash it, I will keep it long. (I was in a car accident 6 years ago and destroyed my shoulder, I lost 3 tendons and have 60% of my original range of motion, and 30% of the original strength) since my hair is to long to wash with one hand, he has to help.

I'm pretty lucky DH takes good care of himself, I don't care if he grows a bread though it scratches like hell for the first 2-3 days, he guest grow it very long because it starts to bug him. I do prefer that he keep his hair short (as it turns into a giant puff ball if it gets to long). The only thing DH has said anything about is he likes my hair long, do as long as he is willing to wash it, I will keep it long. (I was in a car accident 6 years ago and destroyed my shoulder, I lost 3 tendons and have 60% of my original range of motion, and 30% of the original strength) since my hair is to long to wash with one hand, he has to help.

Unfortunately, I have tried telling him and it hasn't made a difference. Maybe I haven't made it clear exactly how much I hate it. The reason why I posted this topic was because I wasn't sure if I was crossing some type of line. Honestly, if he had the mustache when I first met him, I wouldn't have even given him a second glance. Â

Unfortunately, I have tried telling him and it hasn't made a difference. Maybe I haven't made it clear exactly how much I hate it. The reason why I posted this topic was because I wasn't sure if I was crossing some type of line. Honestly, if he had the mustache when I first met him, I wouldn't have even given him a second glance. Â

The only thing I can think of that I do only for him is keep my hair long. I would've chopped it off a long time ago. But he loves my long blonde hair. I would love a cute bob.

I can relate to your mustache feelings. DH used to have a goatee and mustache. It looked good together but he grew it a bit longer for Halloween one year. He buzzed the goatee and left the mustache to be Tom Selek for Halloween. It was super creepy and made him look like a child molester. I made him shave right after the party, lol.

The only thing I can think of that I do only for him is keep my hair long. I would've chopped it off a long time ago. But he loves my long blonde hair. I would love a cute bob.

I can relate to your mustache feelings. DH used to have a goatee and mustache. It looked good together but he grew it a bit longer for Halloween one year. He buzzed the goatee and left the mustache to be Tom Selek for Halloween. It was super creepy and made him look like a child molester. I made him shave right after the party, lol.

My DH keeps his hair super short on his own which I think looks great on him. If we are going out I will suggest an outfit but he can wear what he wants. He likes my hair long and blonde. It's naturally blonde so it's easy to keep up with. My compromise is to keep my hair below my shoulders even though I would like it short.

My DH keeps his hair super short on his own which I think looks great on him. If we are going out I will suggest an outfit but he can wear what he wants. He likes my hair long and blonde. It's naturally blonde so it's easy to keep up with. My compromise is to keep my hair below my shoulders even though I would like it short.

My husband has great hygiene and is obsessive about being clean cut. When it comes to clothes, he has no idea what he's doing. I buy all of his clothes and sometimes tell him what to wear. If he puts on the wrong combination of clothes (shorts and shirt don't match), I tell him to go and change his shirt or shorts. He usually comes and asks it what he's wearing looks ok (especially on the weekends). He hates picking clothes and prefers that I help him.

His work attire is easy, dress pants and a long-sleeved collared shirt. He usually picks that himself without any problems.

As for me....... well, occasionally I'll ask if he thinks what I'm wearing looks ok.

My husband has great hygiene and is obsessive about being clean cut. When it comes to clothes, he has no idea what he's doing. I buy all of his clothes and sometimes tell him what to wear. If he puts on the wrong combination of clothes (shorts and shirt don't match), I tell him to go and change his shirt or shorts. He usually comes and asks it what he's wearing looks ok (especially on the weekends). He hates picking clothes and prefers that I help him.

His work attire is easy, dress pants and a long-sleeved collared shirt. He usually picks that himself without any problems.

As for me....... well, occasionally I'll ask if he thinks what I'm wearing looks ok.

He doesn't like tattoos, so I won't get one...but, honestly, I'm not really inclined to get one anyway. If I was, I'm not sure whether his preference would stop me or not lol. That's really the only opinion he has on my appearance.

The only time I really say anything about his appearance is when he shaves but leaves this little mustache thing. And then I laugh so hard at him that he usually goes and shaves it off right away. I just can't take him seriously with that thing. lol

He doesn't like tattoos, so I won't get one...but, honestly, I'm not really inclined to get one anyway. If I was, I'm not sure whether his preference would stop me or not lol. That's really the only opinion he has on my appearance.

The only time I really say anything about his appearance is when he shaves but leaves this little mustache thing. And then I laugh so hard at him that he usually goes and shaves it off right away. I just can't take him seriously with that thing. lol

My SO is pretty good about his appearance, but that's more out of practicality than anything else. He spends a lot of time with horses and outdoors, so keeping his nails clipped/hair shorter is just practical, since if he didn't, it would be a bit of a detriment. He doesn't like facial hair, mostly because he can't grow anything of substance and it just makes him look scruffy. He admits it, not me, though I prefer him clean-shaven anyway, because I hate kissing stubble or hair. But otherwise, he is just very good about being minimally groomed to be presentable, so I don't need to have a say, just maybe suggest a shirt I like him in because the color looks good.

Oh, the ONE thing I hate that he does is chew, but he only does it when he goes hunting, or has a stressful day outside and he does it to relax, which is literally a few times a year. But I refuse to kiss him until he brushes his teeth, because I think it's nasty.

For me, he doesn't particularly care what I look like, hair or otherwise. He prefers my hair longer, but he doesn't mind it shorter, though I would never have it that short, because I don't like it, since I like being able to put it up and out of the way. But I'm also pretty minimal in terms of what I do with myself, since I only wear mascara and don't worry about clothes.

I suppose we just click in terms of self-maintenance, because we really don't have any issues with each others' appearance, or need to have a say in what the other does or doesn't do for it. We tend to take issue over the way the other person doesn't clean dishes, or deals with finances, actually.

My SO is pretty good about his appearance, but that's more out of practicality than anything else. He spends a lot of time with horses and outdoors, so keeping his nails clipped/hair shorter is just practical, since if he didn't, it would be a bit of a detriment. He doesn't like facial hair, mostly because he can't grow anything of substance and it just makes him look scruffy. He admits it, not me, though I prefer him clean-shaven anyway, because I hate kissing stubble or hair. But otherwise, he is just very good about being minimally groomed to be presentable, so I don't need to have a say, just maybe suggest a shirt I like him in because the color looks good.

Oh, the ONE thing I hate that he does is chew, but he only does it when he goes hunting, or has a stressful day outside and he does it to relax, which is literally a few times a year. But I refuse to kiss him until he brushes his teeth, because I think it's nasty.

For me, he doesn't particularly care what I look like, hair or otherwise. He prefers my hair longer, but he doesn't mind it shorter, though I would never have it that short, because I don't like it, since I like being able to put it up and out of the way. But I'm also pretty minimal in terms of what I do with myself, since I only wear mascara and don't worry about clothes.

I suppose we just click in terms of self-maintenance, because we really don't have any issues with each others' appearance, or need to have a say in what the other does or doesn't do for it. We tend to take issue over the way the other person doesn't clean dishes, or deals with finances, actually.

"There once was a time whenall people believed in God and the church ruled.This time was called the Dark Ages."-Richard Lederer-

From:
MRCDMP

To: GenericMommySN

Posted: May-16 01:28 PM (14 of 28)

I don't have much say at all. The only thing that bothers me about his appearance is is inability to match things. I usually let it slide, but when he tries to go out in orange running shoes, bright blue basketball shorts, a black and red t-shirt, and his Miami Hurricanes hat (white orange and green for those who don't know) I put my foot down. Somedays I swear he gets dressed in the dark!

I don't have much say at all. The only thing that bothers me about his appearance is is inability to match things. I usually let it slide, but when he tries to go out in orange running shoes, bright blue basketball shorts, a black and red t-shirt, and his Miami Hurricanes hat (white orange and green for those who don't know) I put my foot down. Somedays I swear he gets dressed in the dark!

My dh had alot to say on the begining on how I dressed...lol all I wore was tight pants!! And I'm the kind of person who really get frustrated while shoping so I just let my dh pick what he likes!! Unless it's something specific I'm looking for I leave it up to him. And my dh mostly wears jeans and a white t, unless we are going out. We kind of pick eachothers clothes. An I cut his hair/shave his face 1 a week or so.

My dh had alot to say on the begining on how I dressed...lol all I wore was tight pants!! And I'm the kind of person who really get frustrated while shoping so I just let my dh pick what he likes!! Unless it's something specific I'm looking for I leave it up to him. And my dh mostly wears jeans and a white t, unless we are going out. We kind of pick eachothers clothes. An I cut his hair/shave his face 1 a week or so.

I do keep in mind his preferences, but I still do what I want. He likes long dark hair, but I recently cut quite a bit off and dyed it light with blonde streaks. He still likes it though. He's not a fan of tattoos. I've wanted one for years, but he really doesn't want me to get one. I haven't yet, although I don't know how long that will last.
As for him I like a bit of scruff so he keeps it, him hating shaving doesn't hurt either. When he does shave he will sometimes come out with a mustache and I make him shave it off. He looks identical to his dad when he has a mustache and I just can't. He doesn't clip his nails enough for my liking, but it's so small of a thing I don't say anything.

I do keep in mind his preferences, but I still do what I want. He likes long dark hair, but I recently cut quite a bit off and dyed it light with blonde streaks. He still likes it though. He's not a fan of tattoos. I've wanted one for years, but he really doesn't want me to get one. I haven't yet, although I don't know how long that will last.
As for him I like a bit of scruff so he keeps it, him hating shaving doesn't hurt either. When he does shave he will sometimes come out with a mustache and I make him shave it off. He looks identical to his dad when he has a mustache and I just can't. He doesn't clip his nails enough for my liking, but it's so small of a thing I don't say anything.

My SO is not picky about my hair or my clothes... So its pretty easy! As far as him... He is very picky about his hair so he gets it cut regularly. I pick out his clothes for him when he is in the shower. He chews his finger nails but will let his toes get nasty so I uhm... clip them for him lol!!!ETA He always tells me its my body so do what I want! But will sometimes say "is that really what your going to wear" not because its not "skimpy" but because he thinks its ugly;) lol in that case I do not care I'll wear it anyway!! And I pretty much pick out/buy his clothes so I know I like them!!!

My SO is not picky about my hair or my clothes... So its pretty easy! As far as him... He is very picky about his hair so he gets it cut regularly. I pick out his clothes for him when he is in the shower. He chews his finger nails but will let his toes get nasty so I uhm... clip them for him lol!!!ETA He always tells me its my body so do what I want! But will sometimes say "is that really what your going to wear" not because its not "skimpy" but because he thinks its ugly;) lol in that case I do not care I'll wear it anyway!! And I pretty much pick out/buy his clothes so I know I like them!!!

not too much :) DH dresses pretty good. I like his hair long or short, although I think I like it short a little better. In the winter he usually does a full beard and mustache (it is warmer lol) that is usually when his hair is longer too. I would not like just a mustache on him, but he does do the goatee thing quite a bit, I like that. I am really not too picky lol.

he likes my hair long better, but doesn't mind when I cut it short to donate. He has asked me to grow it long again, which I am doing, but not excited about because it is summer time. He really likes it when I color my hair red so I do sometimes. I think he would like it if I dressed a litte nicer on a daily basis, but I run a daycare and it seems that if I wear my nicer shirts they just get ruined :( so he understands why I dress so casual. I have been trying to wear a little foundation and mascara on a daily basis, but am still forgetting lol.

not too much :) DH dresses pretty good. I like his hair long or short, although I think I like it short a little better. In the winter he usually does a full beard and mustache (it is warmer lol) that is usually when his hair is longer too. I would not like just a mustache on him, but he does do the goatee thing quite a bit, I like that. I am really not too picky lol.

he likes my hair long better, but doesn't mind when I cut it short to donate. He has asked me to grow it long again, which I am doing, but not excited about because it is summer time. He really likes it when I color my hair red so I do sometimes. I think he would like it if I dressed a litte nicer on a daily basis, but I run a daycare and it seems that if I wear my nicer shirts they just get ruined :( so he understands why I dress so casual. I have been trying to wear a little foundation and mascara on a daily basis, but am still forgetting lol.

I'd say we have a pretty big say on the others appearance. Luckily though we agree with the other person! I like my hair long, he likes my hair long. Neither of us mind tattoos. But before we get a tattoo the other has to approve of it. But that's just so he doesn't come home with a naked girl on arm or anything. Neither of us has ever "vetoed" a tattoo. DH is in the army, so he has to maintain his appearance for the most part. He doesn't like to shave on the weekends. I can go one day without him shaving, but on Sunday I won't kiss him. My skin is so sensitive it really hurts. But if my leg hair gets to stubbly he won't cuddle with me. The only thing that I can't handle is his wardrobe chose. He always has to match, so nothing like that. But he likes to wear white and black. There is no color! And he wears South Pole clothes. Now I don't have a problem with SP clothes, but on DH it looks funny. But he says the clothes I pick out are better suited for my gay friends. I may like a metro look :) he likes a more gangster look.

I'd say we have a pretty big say on the others appearance. Luckily though we agree with the other person! I like my hair long, he likes my hair long. Neither of us mind tattoos. But before we get a tattoo the other has to approve of it. But that's just so he doesn't come home with a naked girl on arm or anything. Neither of us has ever "vetoed" a tattoo. DH is in the army, so he has to maintain his appearance for the most part. He doesn't like to shave on the weekends. I can go one day without him shaving, but on Sunday I won't kiss him. My skin is so sensitive it really hurts. But if my leg hair gets to stubbly he won't cuddle with me. The only thing that I can't handle is his wardrobe chose. He always has to match, so nothing like that. But he likes to wear white and black. There is no color! And he wears South Pole clothes. Now I don't have a problem with SP clothes, but on DH it looks funny. But he says the clothes I pick out are better suited for my gay friends. I may like a metro look :) he likes a more gangster look.

The material on this website is provided for educational purposes only and is not to be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, or in place of therapy or medical care. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy

Advertising Notice

This Site and third parties who place advertisements on this Site may collect and use information about your visits to this Site and other websites in order to provide advertisements about goods and services of interest to you. If you would like to obtain more information about these advertising practices and to make choices about online behavioral advertising, please click here