Shower time is a tug of war for both my mother and me! I have resorted to giving her "bird baths" but that does not resolve washing her hair. She refuses to have a CNA bathe her as she does not want a stranger giving her a bath. I suffer from back pain and sometimes just find it easier to give in. But I know she needs to be washed due to hygienic purposes. I do have a bath chair for her but would appreciate any feedback offered to reduce the stress for both of us. Thank you.

4 Answers

Would you be able to get her to a beauty salon on a weekly basis? (I realize that might be impossible.) Take her out to lunch on hair day to bring a positive note to the proceedings? Use dry shampoo as an in between?

I’m having that problem with my 91 year old Aunt. And I do everything on my own, with no help. but I want to find someone to come in and say, I’m here to assist you with a bath. I’ll tell her the doctor ordered that I have a bath nurse assistant .Now just to find someone that will come in to do it; not so easy. Nothing is ever easy. But I keep trying.

If you have an overhead shower, it is not usually a major job to replace it with a shower that has a hand-held option. Sit her in a shower chair. Starting at the feet is fairly non-stressful, and you can take the water off her body while you get a low volume and the right temperature. It is an easier position to wash hair as well, as she will be able to lean back safely.

It’s been said here that some elders are just not big fans of showers and prefer baths. My mother had claustrophobia and a shower stall was hell on earth for her. That plus the water pounding on their bodies is just too stressful for them.

My husband is bedridden and I give him only bedbaths. I use regular (Dial) soap and make certain to rinse him thoroughly. We used a Bath Aide once and watching him,I knew I could do the job just as well.

Offer to work in tandem with the Bath Aide. Mom may feel more comfortable if you’re there and she is not alone with the aide. .

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