Pwn My Life: Issue #59

January 14, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I was playing Heavy Rain late one night. I got into a really intense quicktime sequence and forgot that my controller wasn't wireless. I jerked the controller too hard and it disconnected. Inputs were still flying across the screen as I frantically tried to plug it back in. I thought I'd lost the scenario but managed to come back and finish it. I was so excited that I started screaming at the top of my lungs. Just when I finished, my dad burst into my room holding his gun. My parents thought I was being attacked.-Brandon

I taught my dog to hide under a table when I yell, "Zombies! The zombies are coming!" Next I'm going to train him to stand in front of me and growl when I say, "Covenant dropship, inbound!"-Xana

In kindergarten, we were learning about opposites and the teacher used "go" and "stop" as an example. This really bothered me, since I was fairly certain that the opposite of "go" was "go backwards." In retrospect, I guess she could have meant acceleration and deceleration as opposed to velocity. I still hold that she should have used less mathematically ambiguous examples.-Anonymous

I spent $2200 on a 3D TV so I could watch Resident Evil: Afterlife in 3D the day it was released to blu-ray.-Gliff

When I was in middle school I, in utter seriousness, believed in the Heart of the Cards and my ability to command my Beyblades' beasts. I made fun of my friends for not thinking the same.-Robert

I just smoked a bowl and started to play Halo Reach online. First game there's a player named whitneyyymarie. That is my real God damn name in real life. I am tripping balls right now. I even told the girl it freaked me out. I am so freaked out I turned off my xbox. What are the God damn chances?-Whitney-Marie

I strictly adhere to a one-beer policy if I have to drive. My friends often make fun of me for it. However, I received a Dragonball Z box set for Christmas in which disc 2 instead had the episodes of disc 5 on it. I was so pissed that I hopped in my car to retrieve the receipt from my aunt a few towns over, and then went to Best Buy to exchange it. I drank at least six beers before I made that journey.-Anonymous