Wednesday, 21 January 2009

RING THAT BELL!

Fellow blogger Anjali’s post ‘The transition' put me on this track. This is something that has to be dealt with - by all of us. Domestic violence.

Often have the women who help me at home complained of the menfolk in their families beating up either themselves, or their daughters or their sisters. They take it with resignation, while I advise them to protest, or make a complaint at the nearest police station.

All to no avail. While some men think it is their birthright to slap their womenfolk around, the victimised women tend to say that it is a family matter, and outsiders should not interfere.

Sons, who grow up watching their mothers subjected to violence and sympathizing with them, unfortunately end up like their fathers, thinking it is their heritage to hammer women. And so it continues….

Apparently this is prevalent in all layers of society.

It may not be possible for us to physically be present and prevent such abuse. But we can at least raise the level of awareness about this problem. Talk to the men, wherever possible - make them understand their responsibility to care for their women; tough I know, but at least an effort would have been made. Talk to the women, tell them they don’t have to suffer this indignity, and ask for help. We can put them in touch with organisations that help women in such situations, or other social services.

When I saw this in my mailbox today, it was too much of a coincidence for me to pass over. It is the publicity material for an awareness programme about domestic violence. Actor Boman Irani is the Brand Ambassador for the programme called “Bell Bajao” (Ring The Bell).

This video has been created by Ogilvy & Mather,The project was created by ”Breakthrough” in collaboration with the Indian Ministry of Women and Child Development and UNIFEM.

16 comments:

Said true, ma'am. It's a shame for me that almost a majority of men are like that. I've always included this awareness during our casual conversations as to how a responsible husband should be and I hope they really did make an impact on them and they don't make a negative headlines in future. One such similar movie that I insist that all men watch is PROVOKED - the story about the abused woman in UK.

That message is powerful, and I feel it has become such a routine stuff in Indian lives that most of us are (make ourselves?) insensitive when it comes to a neighbouhood happening.I think there must be instances of the sons taking over from fathers...

Excellent post, Raji! I love this series of ads. The others in this series are equally powerful. I hope it helps in some way at least. As a society we have increasingly become used to turning the deaf ear and not wished to become involved in any way.

I would hate to think what would happen to any man that would have the misfortune to lay a hand on myself or my daughter. I would also "ring that bell" if I suspected this was going on with any friend or neighbor. Honest, powerful post, Raji. How wonderful to visit you again. :)

Abuse happens at many levels and physical abuse is just its most primitive manifestation. While one can feel good about raising awareness and all, what we need to ask ourselves is1) Would we stand up and confront the abuser for our mothers, sisters, daughters, daughters-in-law, sisters-in-law and so on? Or would we just turn a blind eye and say nothing so as to not interfere in a domestic/personal/family matter?2) It is easy to suggest to the domestic help that they should go to the police station. But if there was a need for a witness, would we be willing to go and be there for the person? If they were thrown out of their homes, would we give them a place to stay even for a few days?3)Do we really believe that the police in India will do something about this, especially when the person is a poor domestic worker?

We give good advice but that is all -- the words have to change to action to facilitate any improvement in our society/world. We as women must react in a positive way to support the abused women and confront the abuser. Until that happens this is all just talk and amounts to nothing.

Anonymous, thank you for the insightful comments. You are so right - we are helpless. But atleast we can make these small efforts, and maybe some decades later, there will be a kind of awakening.

I have stepped in twice when I have heard the wife screaming in agony at the abuse at her husband's hands.(And this was not some poor family, but an educated middle class one) The first time, I was shouted at and asked to mind my own business. It was terrible, but at least it stopped him from hitting her. The second time I called from outside loud and long enough for him to be distracted.

This is a burning issue and it is shameful for the society to leave this social evil unattended. Illiteracy, excessive drinking, dowry, poverty have all contributed to this evil.I had once come across a shocking report conducted in my University. A survey conducted among the employees( from the highest paid to the lowest)reveals that more than 60% of the women have been victims of domestic violence.

I remember we - a small group of us in a friend's flat - were alarmed at the domestic abuse screams at a neighbouring flat. I am so proud that we all - the entire group of ?7-8 of us - rang the doorbell.

The woman's screams stopped; the man came to the door and looked very "decent" and neighbourly. We couldn't enter the flat.

No more screams that day, but I hear there were screams later on...

And yes, this was educated middle class blah blah blah============

I do this: when I see a husband shouting at his wife ( upper class living rooms) and ordering her to shut up as HE wants ME to hear his pea-brained speeches, I

Leave the room.

The man is often stunned and starts hating ( yes, hating) me from then on but there is a limit to my patience. I cannot stand to see the verbal abuse...and I'm talking sophisticated households here.

Makes for a lonelier life for me - less homes to go to! - but I prefer my company to these sad little male ******

Sociable

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About Me

Nothing to do and all day to do it in, with some books, and music – my idea of a happy life. And I have nearly reached that point, having retired some time ago from a neigbourhood newspaper. Some habits, however, die hard, and I sometimes feel the need to put pen to paper.