Two things surprised us when we accidentally went to TSN.ca this morning. Well it wasn’t really accidental. We couldn’t remember if there was a game tonight—and the schedule on the OilersNation is conveniently from 12 seasons ago.

*COUGH*

Surprise #1

According to TSN, in the second game of their double header tonight “Brian Burke's Ducks take on Kevin Lowe's Oilers.” Someone might want to mention that Steve Tambellini, who swears he’s the team’s GM.

Surprise #2

The Oilers are ranked 15th in the TSN power poll and the Leafs are a paltry 27th. This ranking system is the brainchild of Scott Cullen—who steadfastly refused to list Ethan Moreau as a key injury to the team last year, despite the fact he was team captain. When we called this to his attention via e-mail, he gracefully told us to pound sand and read a different website. This was part of the reason the OilersNation was born. If you want to know more about this we can explain in greater detail.

Draft

The First Annual Wanye Gretz Draft In Support Of Wasting Time At Work™ is in full swing and that fact will provide endless joy to us all throughout the imminent 11 months of winter.

Big ups to Madman37 who has taken the lead. Kris Letang? That kind of picking has gotten you the early lead? WTF? The Randy Gregg Experience is rocking out in second, and has the current advantages of a) a hilarious name, b) second place glory with the ladies, and c) Braydon Coburn. If you’re like us and you’re saying “Braydon who?” It explains why we’re currently sitting in 41st.

But with five players in action tonight, watch for your ol’ pal Wanye to lay the hammer down and vault into striking position. We always start slow in these things but we usually end up laying a beating on everyone. Shifty dudes we know in the draft have arrived too by the way. We’ve been playing drafts with them for years and they must be watched. Philip Ontakos (great name) started the damn thing two days late and is still 22nd. Lenny Bamboo can’t be trusted either, nor can “craving a blowie.” For you kids reading this—we are assuming his name is referring to some new variety of satellite transponder.

MSG is currently 106 points back of French Pro-League Castoff which entertains us to no end. Why? Because these two are brothers and would generally rather take an air to ground missile to the tender bits than lose to each other at anything. Glorious. It gets us to wondering: do you have anyone you are guaranteeing you will beat in the draft? We’ll go out on a limb here and say that of all the teams in the draft, we want to beat “Phil Kessel’s nut.”

Didn’t think we would ever say that in a sentence.

Tonight

Last game there was a boatload of traffic on the Nation and the 81 comments under the now classic “teacher with viagra pants” photo tells us there are people who like to make comments and chatter online during the game. We will be back online—will you?

—Wanye Gretz—2004 LPGA Comeback Player of the Year

Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me.
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