Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'" "Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!" "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Childrens' Minds

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.

Never underestimate the power of...termites.

You can lead a horse to water but...how?

Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.

No news is... impossible.

A miss is as good as a... Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new... math.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.

Love all, trust... me.

The pen is mightier than the... pigs.

An idle mind is... the best way to relax.

Where there's smoke there's... pollution.

A penny saved is... not much.

Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.

None are so blind as... Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.

You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.

His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?

He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.

His father congratulated him. And then he said "That's good son, you won't have to memorize any lines!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, no!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene. He took a deep breath and proceeded. Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly. "Danny! Danny!" he whispered to himself. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten. He couldn't understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away. In desperation, he took another step then cried out, "Danny!" From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. "Yes, Dad," he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard. "It's time to get up and get ready for school," the man sighed, "And for heaven's sake, clean up this room!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day mom was cleaning juniors room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.

She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.

He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.

She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?"

Dad looked at her and said, "Well, I don't think you should spank him." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unhappy people are the worst. Sorry about your 'work' Midge. Sounds like it's more emotionally draining than physical.

L4L, hope Keoki does well after that surgery. Sounds like the doc knows his job.

RUG arrived yesterday afternoon. Not in a FedEx truck, but just a rental van that was from some place. Didn't recognize it at all until the guy got out and shoved a huge rug at me. Tried it in the bedroom. Was all ready to get my neighbor to lift the HEAVY antique Iron bed for me to remove the old rug and put this one in, but something stopped me.

I played around with the new rug, noticed the SMELL was awful (polypropylene) and wondered if it would go away. Then I noticed that after walking on it with my bare feet, my feet started to sting like when I accidentally step in bug spray on the floor or cleaning products I've used. Hummmmm.

Decided to give it a night and walk over it several times to see if the 'foot' thing was from the rug or just something else. It WAS the rug. So it's a no-go on the bedroom. Too flat and not soft anyway.

This morning, I dragged it out to my deck, arranged it near the benches in one corner and it looks great out there. Digger, the black and white feral immediately 'claimed' it as HER spot to lounge and play. Then her mom, Rags followed suit. Got some great pictures of them both.

Guess I have an new outdoor rug to brighten my deck. It is after all an indoor/outdoor impervious to everything rug. Won't rot, stain, mildew, fade, etc. Water just soaks through and it will be easy to hose off with the rest of the deck. Oh well.

Back to the drawing board for the bedroom rug. I'll probably actually have to GO to a real store in person, and look at REAL rugs on display to find the one I want. I needed a project. Not.