The Blue Collar Comedy Guys Are Building a $200 Million Theme Park

One of my favorite Greg Giraldo moments was when he lost it in the middle of Larry the Cable Guy’s roast, stopped telling jokes, and just screamed HOW THE F*CK ARE YOU SO POPULAR?! I wish Greg Giraldo was still alive now more than ever (along with Patrice O’Neal), to lose his mind over the news that Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy, and Bill Engvall are planning a $200 million theme park in Alabama called “Blue Collar Country.” I don’t know why Ron White’s not involved, but I’m trying not to think too hard about this lest my sleeves fly off of their own accord.

The Foley, Ala., locale, titled Blue Collar Country, has been described by Foley mayor John Koniar as Branson, Mo., meets Six Flags.

Construction has yet to begin, but the roughly 500-acre development is expected to include hotels, retail, an RV resort, rides, a 100,000-square-foot events center (for concerts, sporting events and conventions) and restaurants including a Foxworthy-themed steak house, an Engvall fish spot and a Larry the Cable Guy rib joint.

Ooh, and don’t forget the Prilosec OTC sunburn tent…

Phase one of the project will cost about $200 million, which will come through a combination of bonds, grants and institutional financing, say sources, plus local and federal tax credits. If all goes according to plan, Blue Collar Country will be up and running in the next two to three years, according to Blue Collar manager J.P. Williams.

If the Alabama location is successful, the group — which includes singer Tony Orlando, who is said to have come up with the idea and found the location — will look to open as many as six other Blue Collar locales around the country. [THR]

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. You cannot just slip “singer Tony Orlando” in there in the last paragraph like it’s an after thought. I just… I can’t… I don’t… I’m not… what is this… I don’t even… no words…

Somewhere, Gabriel Iglesias just wrote “FLUFFY LAND” on a cocktail napkin and slid it across the table to his manager.

Apropos of nothing, this is the image Shutterstock spit out when I searched “Blue Collar Comedy.”

Here’s that roast clip I was talking about. I kind of hate roasts now, but Greg Giraldo was pretty great.

Maybe I’ll get torched here… But my hope is Ron White is distancing himself from the whole Blue Collar thing. I always found him genuinely funny, especially as compared to the other pandering idiots in that group.

I like this idea of kickstarters intended to *stop* things from happening. I volunteer for a kickstarter to form a small paramilitary task force to hunt down all of those involved with Blue Collar Country. Back us at the $10,000 level and you get the decapitated head of your choice! $1000 gets you a finger.