The Man Called Bear Commits Alligator Revenge Killing for Friend

You might have heard about the Texas man who was killed by an alligator in alligator-infested waters moments after being heard shouting “[f]uck that alligator!” and jumping in. In most of the other states of this blessed union, that would probably have been the end of the story – but since this happened in Texas, it only makes sense that the deceased had a friend named “Bear” who killed the alligator to avenge his friend.

The man called Bear shot and killed the alligator who ate his friend in an Ahabian quest for vengeance. And like Captain Ahab, he will pay heavily for his obsession with his prey – a $500 fine, the penalty for the unlicensed killing of alligators in the state of Texas.

You can read more about Bear’s obsessive quest for vengeance, which will surely be turned into a fantastic movie in a couple years, over at the New York Daily News right here. And let’s all share a moment of silence for the man known as Bear, a true hero.