Madonna’s apology sucks

Madonna posted a photo of her son Rocco on Instagram the other day with the caption:

"No one messes with Dirty Soap! Mama said knock you out! #disn---a."

Only the word wasn’t dashed out. You can imagine the reaction. So she pulled down the message and replaced it with something else. And then she issued an apology:

"I am sorry if I offended anyone with my use of the N word on Instagram. It was not meant as a racial slur.. I am not a racist. There's no way to defend the use of the word. It was all about intention.. It was used as a term of endearment toward my son who is white. I appreciate that it's a provocative word and I apologize if it gave people the wrong impression. Forgive me."

Using the word is awful on its own. But her apology just made it even more offensive.

IF?

IF I offended anyone?

People don’t know how to properly apologise anymore. The “if” there is almost dismissive. And it’s certainly not an admission of wrongdoing. The “if” suggests that the problem is in the interpretation and not the use. You interpret. She used. So IF means that you had a part in the offense. And since when should you be complicit when someone else says the “n” word?

Note the difference when you replace “if” with “that”:

I am sorry THAT I offended. I apologise THAT it gave people the wrong impression.

See? This is an active apology. It takes accountability. It leaves no doubt about who is in the wrong. So from there you can begin to consider forgiveness. This is the problem with celebrity entitlement though. They all think forgiveness should be immediately forthcoming.