puppy barking breaks like dawntears me from sleepfucking dogyou just lay there pretending you don't hearme cursing and stubbing my toeChica....Chica...FANG SHUT UP6 am and there's no caffeinethere's no milk did I forget, and when the fuck did I becomeDoris muthafukkin Day anyway?puppy sleeping on mt t shirtsettles in and snoozing soundlyyour snoring and hersmimictime life edition lithographs suitable for framinghappy familythis is what I gave it up forthis is what I wantedwhite fencecat and dogsnoring husbandwide awake at 6:15no caffeineand still....

i realy havent made any reolutions maybe to write more i guess its been a long time since ive written anything here i started a home based business that kind of monopolizes my spare time....so im a ghost but im still here.

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was that supposed to hurt?was it accidentalthe venom dripping from your voicethe fire in your eyeswere you intense in pain?is there really any differenceand are you proudleaving me ashamedwas this meant to kill?or just stunwas it something left undone?did you tie up these loose ends for me or you?i realise the pain i causedi understand you hate memy only one and only regretis you drew your weapon faster

when i stopyou fade awaytoo far for me to seewhen i move you follow melurking in the shadowsof a heartto many times betrayedof a soul so many times set uponby the fangs and claws of whatyou realy arein my winterblizzardcoloured dreamsyou are fireburning through all the bullshit that im swimming throughblue eyed and violet wrathred blooded aftermaththe bruises you leaveleave me wantingto stopand watch you fade away

this is not a poemtits an observationive been brokensince i named my selfdestructionive been lostsince we found each other againive been troubledsince i stopped dancingwith troublewhat is thiswhen did thatwhy is thisi dontknowim on my kneessucking satan's cockgetting fuckedby my mistakespushed down into the mud and muckby the boots of a worldi helped createcrying like an infantcrumbling like an ancientwhere is the oceanwhere is my saviournot in the mirroranymore

did you know that ive been herewaiting in the aftermathfor the smoke to roll on byday after day and still its....cloudy as a mother fuckersomething left out in the raindisolving into paperbitsconfetti heartsskin to skin and i dont doubtwhen youre inside me i know the truthbut when youre not

oh and he questionsevery phonecall every errandeversince you walked outever sinceyou lied to meyes youre home nowand i believe i have forgiven...at least i am beggining

the forgiving

but it comes slowtoo tired to talkunprepared to listen youmelt into the shadowsgiving birth to silencewith your hand in my handwe are strong again...but when youre not here...how do ibecome so weakbaby lets be honestagain for a little whiletell me why youre really heretell me why youre back againkeep telling meplease keep telling me....

helloits only me againyou dont have to answerjust be awarewhat youve donewhat youre doingis it what you always were afraid youde dowhat youve becomeso much less than glamorousso much less impressivebe care full what youre wishing foryoure gonna get it in the end.

resurrection comesuncertaincertainlyresurfacinginto not knowingreturningto confusionconfuses eventhe oneswho were supposed to know better.where were youwhere was Iam I stillwhat you needme to beeven hereeven nowin all this smokethe dust settlesunsettlingwhereare wegolden onedo we still seeeyes to eyeare you still the one wholoves me best of all?am I still your everything?resendingresoundingthunder in my earslightning in my bloodaching in my heart a storm'sbeen brewinglonging to crash forththe ecstasyof yes or noand the regret ofwonder

so im backback from the deadreassembledparts stitched back togetherhaphazardin myrebirthinto blood and darknesswheres the lightyou promised?dusty heart beatsout of syncloosing the rythmwhy did you bring me backface scarredsoul lostzombiegrand zombieDamballah's laughingwhy did you do this thingbring me backto make me thisyou should have left me dead