Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Anticipating Melia coming home to our family, to her family unsettles me. We are getting into such a rhythm, a flow out her in West Omaha.

Each morning my 5,6 and 8 year old make their beds, brush their teeth, get dressed without help from mom. This is after a peaceful night of rest. They rarely need me at night anymore. In the morning I can go running while Ryan makes their breakfast. Hallie pours her own milk. Why would I go back to diapers, up at night, carseats that I buckle, naptime schedules? Why would we upset our comfort for another child?

Ryan and I went for a walk about a week ago (while the kids slept soundly and our Hannah stayed at home in case they woke...what luxury). As we walked I expressed my fears, the unsettled place in my heart that questioned upsetting the boat. That's when my gentle, wise husband sweetly reminded me that our lives are not made for comfort. We were called to this adoption because God's ways are not our own and His plans are better than ours. We can never get too comfortable with comfort or we are surely outside of God's plan.

This beautiful conviction jolted my heart. It woke me from my lazy sleep and inspired me to press on and see God moving and working so amazingly around me. I am more than supplied with all I need and could want, but my daughter is lonely and without her mama, her family. My selfish heart is now being pushed out by Christ in me. Christ pursues me and loves me and with him I have the strength for all things. I believe this truth and rejoice that the veil of selfish desire was lifted as I walked and talked with my best friend, Melia's daddy.

I am reminded once again to see God, know God and trust in God all the time. What He has ordained is all good, all the time. I just need to open my eyes to always see it.

So, with an aching joy in my heart I rely on Christ's power to patiently wait for my daughter to come home. I trust in God to be her provider and guard her always and certainly while she is away from her mommy.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Our Holt representative in Oregon called to say our dossier was great and that they would be mailing it to China tomorrow! Hip Hip Hooray!

At that point we wait for China to log it into their system and then we are available for a referral. We think our first chance for getting Melia's referral will be the last week of July. Wouldn't that be wonderful!

Jacob keeps saying he doesn't want to see her picture until this birthday because he wants it to be something special on his birthday. It would be wonderful if we could give him that as a birthday gift the first week of August!

Fortunately, we know it is in God's trustworthy hands. So, we will wait on Him and His goodness.