In the Beginning, there Was the Blorbs...

The Mushroom Kingdom's populous has been struck with an outbreak of the blorbs, a horrible malady that causes the victim to balloon up like Violet Beauregarde and roll around and around. Oh, the abject horror of ceaseless, aimless rolling! What to do? Who to call?

Wait! Who's that at the front door?

Why it's Mario and Luigi! Plumbers! Yes, that's what we need!

A Toad will greet the bros. at the front door and ask if you need an explanation of action-icons. If you say yes he will take the time to explain the finer points of jumping, talking to NPCs and examining objects. Thinking you might be a bit think, he'll offer to explain it again. Politely decline and hoof it into the next room.

Unless you really are think. Then by all means have him explain it again.

Talk to the Toads on your way to the conference hall if you wish but be sure to snag the coins from the various floating blocks you'll find about the room. Remember, each bro has his own jump button so make sure you command both to jump up onto a ledge if that's where you want to go. Otherwise, you'll have Mario on a ledge and Luigi running around below and you won't be able to get anywhere.

Save your game if the feeling takes you then walk on into the conference room.

Eventually Bowser will crash the party and Mario will be forced to put him in his place. Toadsworth will explain the basics of combat if need be. Don't worry, Bowser's nice enough to stand idly by while you're being lectured on the stuff you probably already read in the game's manual.

All you need to do to win this fight is repeatedly jump on Bowser's head and hop over the fireballs he spits at you. Simple, no?

Bowser will fall pretty quickly and Peach will kick his scaly shell out of the castle.

Bowser lands somewhere outside and immediately resolves to head back to the castle to kidnap Peach. Make your way south, punching boulders with the X Button and burning down trees with the Y Button. Be aware that if you breathe fire for too long, Bowser will get pooped and be unable to move for a few seconds. Eventually you'll find a merchant who will give you a Lucky Shroom.

Some of you may recognize the merchant as recurring series villain, Fawful. Some of you may not.

Bowser, the big dolt, eats the Lucky Shroom and as a result, ends up inhaling Mario, Luigi, and a good chunk of the Mushroom Kingdom. Then he passes out.