Is it cruel to pick on the new kid? It's great in a lot of ways and adds some whimsy to the waterfront, but it is also the ultimate tourist trap. It's $14 for an adult ticket for those 12 and older, which is almost as much as it costs to buy a ticket to summit the Eiffel Tower. Let's avoid pretending we're something we're not.

Impress a girl by buying a pair of tickets here and waiting in line. Otherwise, catch fantastic (and free) views elsewhere. And avoid the neighboring arcade that shakes you down for cash.

Here's the 800-pound tourist trap in the room. The Space Needle is a lovely, quirky city mascot, but it's an uninspired choice. At $29 for "midday" general admission, there are so many less-touristy places to go.

OK, so it's kind of fun, even if you hate yourself while doing the captain-led dance moves while scooting through downtown. And it's interesting to experience this boat actually floating in Lake Union despite you being so sure you're going to sink.

But it's $35 for adults and $20 for kids. With an extra $2.50 if you want one of those obnoxious quackers.

Trap: Ride the Ducks OK, so it's kind of fun, even if you... Photo-5980540.81369 - seattlepi.com

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Taboola Gallery Frame Item-85307.81369 - seattlepi.com

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Trap: Chihuly Garden and Glass

Dale Chihuly's work is undeniably gorgeous, but it's another tourist lure, neighboring the Space Needle and all the other Seattle Center offerings. Would probably be great to see once, if you want to fork over the $29 ($24 for King County residents).

Yes, it's cool, but when you get to the part where you can play instruments and sing, you have to wait in line for a lot of that stuff. Maybe make sure an exhibit you're interested in will be there when you visit.

Trap: MoPop Yes, it's cool, but when you get to the part... Photo-5980531.81369 - seattlepi.com

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Trap: The Monorail

Fortunately, the Monorail really doesn't cost much more (if anything) than a bus ride, and if you're going down that path, it's a cool option because you get to your destination in two minutes instead of having to make all the bus stops. But for how many people is that useful?

It's no longer 1962, so the downtown-to-Seattle Center route hardly makes sense for many people unless maybe you are, well, a tourist. No matter what end you start with, you have to pay to park, which always sucks. Then there are the squealing children and tourists trying to take glare-plagued photos out the window. And what are you looking at? Buildings.

Verdict on this place? Kinda lame. It doesn't offer much for your money and it includes lots of toys parents probably have at home. Word of advice: Save the money on this place and spend more time at the Pacific Science Center, practically next door.

Splitting hairs here: This Pike Place Market Starbucks, billed as the "original," isn't technically the original Starbucks. So can all the corporate coffee fanatics posing in front of the sign to snap pictures please stop blocking the walkway?

The first Starbucks opened in 1971 at 2000 Western Avenue, about a block away from this location. It moved to its current location, 1912 Pike Place, about five years later.

There are about 5 million other Starbucks within a few blocks' radius - maybe they have shorter lines than this one. Or, be uniquely Seattle and support a local coffee joint. Yes, Starbucks is "local," but you know.

There's nothing more uniquely Northwest than exploring its native roots - the true Northwest. Tillicum Village, on Blake Island, offers the full experience, with a salmon bake, exploration time and performances. But you can only get there by boat and it's $84 per adult for a round-trip cruise and food.

This delightfully morbid spot has both the blessing and curse of being located on the waterfront. It's a fly trap for tourists and, well, it's a fly trap for tourists. Good thing is, you don't have to pay to get in and can catch a glimpse of mummies and shrunken heads for free.

If you were from any other part of the country watching your home football team play against the Seahawks in Seattle on TV, you'd think the only point to Seattle was chucking large fish. And coffee. But for real, it seems like outsiders can't get enough of the airborne fish.

The fishmongers are affable and it doesn't cost anything to catch a glimpse of the action, but then you're part of the oversized sheep herd standing there Instagramming fish photos on your phone. You're blocking the people trying to get somewhere and, if you're really in the market for fish, there are plenty of other stands in Pike Place where you can get it cheaper.

Trap: Pike Place Fish Market If you were from any other part of... Photo-5984688.81369 - seattlepi.com

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Trap: Mariners baseball

I say this as a long-suffering fan who dons Mariners gear come Opening Day and every week thereafter, but going to a game is hardly worth it anymore. Once the team faded and then the novelty of the once-spankin'-new Safeco Field wore off, the stadium became a racket, peddling ever-more-expensive tickets and food to see what no one can really call Major League baseball.

Even true fans get the urge to drink by the fourth inning, but can't because a crappy domestic brew is $12. What happened to the $6 tall boys at the Hit it Here Cafe?!

Yes, it's the most obvious choice in the city, and it is crowded and full of tourists, but it is truly a gem worthy of its reputation as a Seattle destination. It doesn't cost anything to get inside (except parking, likely) and it's a feast for the senses. Just, as previously advised, slink past the fishmongers and "original" Starbucks. Grab a piroshky.

Tucked away in an unassuming corner of Seattle that straddles Greenwood, Broadview and Crown Hill is Carkeek Park, a watershed that includes forests, meadows, wetlands and a beach. The northwest Seattle park offers stunning views of Whidbey Island, the Kitsap Peninsula and Olympic Mountains - on a clear day, that is.

Now that it has moved from Pioneer Square to Capitol Hill, it's less in the path of tourists. Get lost in the stacks.

Go: Elliott Bay Book Company

Now that it has moved from Pioneer Square to Capitol Hill, it's less in the path of tourists. Get lost in the stacks.

Photo: GILBERT W. ARIAS, Seattlepi.com File Photo

Go: Elliott Bay Book Company Now that it has moved from Pioneer... Photo-5980527.81369 - seattlepi.com

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Go: Alki Point Lighthouse

Now this is an Alki destination we can get behind. You might have to drive through Alki Beach traffic to get there on a summer day, but it offers great views with fewer bros.

Go: Alki Point Lighthouse

Now this is an Alki destination we can get behind. You might have to drive through Alki Beach traffic to get there on a summer day, but it offers great views with fewer bros.

Photo: PAUL JOSEPH BROWN, Seattlepi.com File Photo

Go: Alki Point Lighthouse Now this is an Alki destination we... Photo-5980522.81369 - seattlepi.com

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Go: Center for Wooden Boats

For the maritime history fanatics, the Center for Wooden Boats on Lake Union has more than 100 historically significant vessels. Rent a boat to paddle or go on an interpretive tour of Lake Union. Then, what the heck, check out the Museum of History and Industry next door.

For sweeping views and a swim without wading into slimy seaweed, head to Lincoln Park in West Seattle. There, the Olympic-size pool includes a slide and a diving board with a fabulous Puget Sound view. Then dry off with a stroll on the beach.

For much cheaper than a Mariners, Seahawks or Sounders game you can see athletes who are just as badass in a temperature-controlled environment. This ain't grandma's roller derby and it's about to become your new favorite sport.

at University of Washington or bring your own floatation device and set off into Lake Washington's Union Bay. You can paddle across to Washington Park Arboretum. Try to spot turtles on logs or eagles hunting for nesting material.

For indoor/nighttime fun, check out what's playing at the Central District's Central Cinema. They're famous for sing-alongs, trivia nights and screenings of old and contemporary classic movies. They sell out, so perhaps book your seats in advance. In addition to the wait service at the cinema, you can also hit up the Chuck's Hop Shop across the street for a massive selection of brews and ciders.

The observation deck, formerly known as the Chinese Room, was recently renovated into a speakeasy-type cocktail lounge. Buy a ticket to explore the exhibits detailing Prohibition-era Seattle and ascend to the observation deck in an old fashioned Otis elevator to take in some drinks and views.