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Friday, October 16, 2009

Step 1. Open post Step 2. Read Blog

So almost 10 months post wedding.....the hubs and I still had some gifts to exchange. Keep in mind ALL of our wedding gifts had been living at my mother in laws house, so it was kind of an outta sight outta mind thing. Lucky for us, Bed Beth and Beyond has maybe the best return policy ever. I'm pretty sure you could take something back 10 years later, totally thrashed, used and abused, but as long as it was on your registry they would gladly return it....with cash back. Ok, maybe that's a little stretch, but you catch my drift on their awesomeness.

One of our favorite gifts, which ironically we bought for ourselves and added to the registry after the wedding to guarantee the registry completion discount (Hey, I know how to work the system, don't judge) was our Keurig Coffee Maker. Who knew a sorta coffee drinker could fall in love with this blessed little machine. It makes coffee, tea, hot cocoa, lattes, mocha's all in one cup servings. In one word...it's amazing. Well a few weeks ago while window shopping, hubby and I realize they have a new upgraded Platinum series with FIVE drink sizes, a bigger water tank, and (wait for it....wait for it.....) an iced beverage setting. Um. I have to have it. I tried to make iced coffee with the old one and it was an utter failure. The sneaky wheels started turning as I remember the generosity of Bed Bath and Beyond. We still had the box and all the packaging of the old one....and I'm pretty sure it's been "acting" up lately and probably needs to be taken back, at which point it would only make sense to get this new sweeter version.

Yes folks, I hang my head in shame (with a big fat smile on my face).....we took back our perfectly good coffee maker, told them it was broken, and left with the brand new Platinum beauty. Don't judge. You know you would have done it too.

So we get it home, and here's the best part of this entire rambling story. Apparently, the makers of Keurig coffee pots think the average American coffee drinker is a complete and utter moron. I open the lid and take out the instruction book so I can set everything up...and here is what I found on the front cover.

(For those who can't read the TINY print I will type it our for you.)

A. UNPACK

1. Carefully remove enclosed literature

(Well hopefully I wasn't to rough with it, because in order to even read this first step I had to open the box...without ANY instruction. The horror.)

2. Slide Brewer packaging out by pulling on plastic bag.

(I'm a rebel. I pulled it out using the Styrofoam. The world did not end.)

Seriously. Wow. Just wow. Did someone out there mess up box opening so badly they felt it necessary to provide, not one but two steps on how to do it correctly?? I shed a tear for America today.

Oops...I meant we were told cash back originally when we registered. I, of course, threw a fit at the counter when the manager tried to give us a store credit for over $100...so she gave me the cash. But, as a fair warning, you may not be able to get cash back for registry items anymore. :(

I bet some smarmy lawyer took a case to court where some idiot got a paper cut opening a package and now they have to waste perfectly good natural resources to print these stupid directions. That's why we have global warming...think of all the idiots they had to appease by putting stupid warnings and directions of everything.

Well, it could be worse, it could have been from Ikea and all the directions could have been written in Danish or Swedish or something. We bought something there one time and I.SWEAR.ON.MY.LIFE there were no English directions.

HAHAHAHAHAH! Hilarious! (and fyi.. I totally would have done the same thing about getting the new coffee maker. Not that you even had to ask. I'm a lawyer. I justify things like this.) ;) Hope you have a fabtastic weekend!

OMG! THATS SO FUNNY~what the heck is wrong with some people...i guess they have to try to protect themselves from a possible lawsuit..."I HURT MY HAND BY OPENING THE BOX THE WRONG WAY!" LOL!BTW...i TOTALLY am heading to BB&B tomorrow with my 20% coupon (another great BB&B perk) TOMORROW!

You write you shed a tear for America today ... but not because you lied and took a perfectly good coffee maker back and told them it was broken, (even throwing a fit) but because you think that the instructions are written for idiots.

It is easier to sleep soundly at night when one is above board and honest - really, it is.