Monday, October 20, 2008

So alright, I've finally scooped dayf...on what I'm calling the worst product of the year. 2008 Upper Deck SP Authentic breaks absolutely no new ground, boasts a positively "meh" checklist, and looks like it stepped directly out of 2004.If SP Authentic stepped out for a few minutes to buy a pack of smokes, and its roommate took a phone message, it might sound something like this: "Uh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, SP...ummm, Throwback Threads called, it wants its design back."

Top to Bottom:58 Ben Sheets (I don't even like getting Ben Sheets cards, so I can imagine how Joe Average must feel. It must be a lot like craving a Dr Pepper and being told that the establishment you're in only carries Mr. Pibb. This card fits perfectly in this set.)36 Grady Sizemore (I pull this guy in just about every set. Not a bad player, but I'd prefer a Tom Sizemore. Actually, I wouldn't.)50 Carlos Zambrano (No need to state my feelings on this one.)63 Johnny Damon (Alex Trebek: Answer. This formerly bearded wonder has been irrelevant since leaving he Red Sox. Contestant 2: Who is Johnny Damon?)31 Brian McCann (Good player. Take a look at his leg pads. Yeah, the left leg. No, McCann is not a battle-scarred mech soldier. Actually, his protector is partially obscured by his jersey number, 16. No, look closer, I'm not lying. Alright, I admit that it's invisible unless you're holding it up to the light at a certain angle with only a half a degree or so of wiggle room either way. Upper Deck must have attended a one-day workshop on the power of hypnosis and decided on a whim to experiment a little. Oh well, I guess it could have been single frames of pornography spliced into family features.)Grade: D-Don't buy this stuff.

(And yes, I do realize the scan of the wrapper is upside-down. I decided to go all Inverted Jenny and shit. Upper Deck dS would be ever so much fun.)