Tory schools spokesman Michael Gove was ambushed by Newsnight's Kirsty Wark over insulting comments he wrote in The Times in 2000 about Tory deputy chairman and donor Lord Ashcroft.

Such as: 'The party's unhealthy reliance on Ashcroft puts its entire electoral strategy at risk... move over Jim Davidson, there's an even more high-profile comedian backing the Tories.'

Gove waffled to Miss Wark: 'The column was designed to entertain and to provoke.'

Really? Ashcroft didn't appreciate Gove supporting The Times in 1999, on Radio 4, over its investigation into his business affairs.

He wrote in his account of this affair: 'Time after time [Gove] evaded the question, squirmed in his seat, and prevaricated.'

Are we meant to believe the pair are chummy now?

Do the residents of Birmingham's Erdington constituency ever tire of being taken for mugs by Labour?

In 2001, their hard-working MP, Robin Corbett, stood down in favour of New Labour flavour-of-the-month cheerleader Sion Simon.

Corbett's
reward: a perch in the Lords as Baron Corbett of Castle Vale. Now Simon
has resigned and professional trade unionist Jack Dromey - alias HHH
(Harriet Harman's husband) - has been selected to contest the plum
Labour seat, despite his wife's hypocritical support of all-women
shortlists.

With big movie roles drying up for him at 72, double Oscar winner Dustin Hoffman has signed for a lead role in a new horse-racing TV drama, Luck, directed by the estimable Michael Mann and produced by the highly rated cable channel HBO, which made Sex And The City and The Sopranos.

Hoffman will play 'an intelligent, intuitive, tough man' with a gambling history who is fresh out of prison. Well within the old boy's range.

When First Lady Michelle Obama appeared
at a Kennedy Center concert, she was greeted by the blind black singer
Stevie Wonder who yelled for everyone to hear: 'I want you to know, Mrs
Obama, I'm your husband's number one fan.

'And not just because he's a black man. He's mixed! And I wouldn't really know what that looks like anyway.' So multi-cultural!

Gordon Brown's appearance at the Chilcot Inquiry on Friday is a concern for the stenographer making a record of proceedings.

A source tells me: 'We've had to ask almost everyone who has appeared so far to slow their speaking down so that she can keep up.

'There's a worry that if we ask the Prime Minister to slow down he might turf the poor girl off the machine and do it himself.'

The Garrick Club's bar has extended its hours and hired a cocktail waitress: attractive, dark-haired Frederica Borgogni - a member of the Italian Bartenders' Association - who has now compiled a 'wonderful list' of drinks.

'Fred' is now 'training' veteran barmen Harry and John to make exciting new potions.