Hog Jaw, Arkansas Lights Cause Major Frights

Locals in Hog Jaw, Arkansas, have witnessed strange lights in the night sky this Tuesday last.

Cletus Albright, forester, told us "well, I guess I shooda taken a picyture wit' ma telephone, but Mary-Lou was yakkin' to her momma, and wouldn't let me have it!"

The lights, thought to be that of UFO's, caused quite a stir.

"To think intelligent life would visit a lil ol' town like ours just makes you feel all giddy inside," said Sharon Butters, local beautician and abattoir technician.

Local USAF officials refused comment on the lights, insisting they had received no official reports, however Mr Albright assures us he contacted the base straight away.

"I definitely done did speak to them, honest I did!" he insisted whilst skinning a deer.

The lights appeared shortly after dusk and hovered in the same position for a few hours, before blinking out as if turned off by a switch.

In other news, the local baseball team are over the moon with their new stadium lights installed last Monday. The first match was played on Tuesday, and continued well into the night. The Hog Jaw Slackers beat the Booneville Stompers 9-7.

Make Nick Hobbs's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

TRENTON, NJ - The spokesman for The Chris Christie Foundation, Betha Buhderbahl, announced that the foundation will take on a troubling, weighty issue when it comes to the income gap between healthy people and the obese.
Obese people make 72 cents...

Rafael Edward Cruz, a first-term Senator from Texas, dispensing with any exploratory phase for his Presidential aspirations, delivered a formal speech during the weekly convocation at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia yesterday.
The Bapti...

Westchester, New York - Congenital Ambien deficiency is suspected after 17 year-old Michaela, daughter of Kerry Kennedy and New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, was found slumped on the floor of her mother's home.
"So far no bathtubs appear to be invo...

MYLITTLEPO, NY (Tengu Windwaker) -- Angela Candelabra, aged 15, the girl who claimed to "die" for almost a day to "see heaven and hell" who also had a video that made Fundamentalists fight other religions through shocking testimonies which look like...

Washington DC - The White House says most of President Obama's private emails to Hillary Clinton were returned unopened because the former US Secretary of Snakes couldn't handle Jamaican Patois.
The Creole-related Caribbean tongue-encrypted presi...

WASHINGTON, DC - Surgeon General Vice Admiral (VADM) Vivek H. Murthy, M.D., M.B.A., released a study today recommending that President Obama issue an executive order to establish a Federal United Copulation Center (FUCC).
The report, 17 years in t...

Washington, DC -- Unannounced presidential candidate Hillary Clinton had more than a few good reasons for operating her own email server while she served as Secretary of State. Unfortunately, they were all on that server, which has malfunctioned and...