If Dollars Grew in Diapers

Elrick Williams’s toddler niece Carlyn may be one of the youngest contributors to this year’s presidential campaign. The 2-year-old gave $2,300 to Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.).

So did her sister and brother, Imara, 13, and Ishmael, 9, and her cousins Chan and Alexis, both 13. Altogether, according to newly released campaign finance reports, the extended family of Williams, a wealthy Chicago financier, handed over nearly a dozen checks in March for the maximum allowed under federal law to Obama.

If dollars grew in diapers, I’d give to candidates,
I’d give them all the limit, at least the fashion plates.
I’d tell them what to vote for, and projects that are right.
If dollars grew in diapers, I’d launder them all night.

If dollars grew in diapers I’d be the finest guy.
I’d teach my kids to donate to the leading pols to buy.
It’s no shame running third, pay off place and show as well.
If dollars grew in diapers, it would redefine the smell.

If dollars grew in diapers, oh what a swell I’d be,
I’d summer in the mountains, and winter by the sea,
On beaches with my honey, and all our kids nearby,
If dollars grew in diapers, you’d never hear me cry.

If dollars grew in diapers, then near a thousand there,
Two thousand in that onesie, three in that underwear.
So give to dear Obama, and give to Hillary,
If dollars grew in diapers, children save some s— for me!