funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

Entries Tagged as 'family'

Writes Chris in Riverside, California: “My friend Eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. Cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening. He woke up one morning with this note from his mother.”

So, I pretty much have a policy of not posting notes submitted by the people who wrote them. I made an exception for this one because I think the really passive-aggressive part of the story is the behavior that inspired it. You might disagree. Nonetheless — on to the backstory, from an anonymous dad in Cary, North Carolina:

My daughter attends a friend’s house for child care two days a week. For the past few days, the lady watching her has been checking my daughter’s clothing tags and telling her she needs to wear “the size of her age.” (“Since you’re 4 years old, you need to wear size 4,” etc.) This person has never said anything to me or her mother — just the child.

This was making my daughter worry unnecessarily about her clothes, so I decided to step in. When I asked my daughter if she had her tags checked that day, she said yes — but we’ve never had another incident of tag-checking since.

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I’m the oldest of four girls, none of whom are living at home. In fact, we’re all currently living in different states. My mom resents the fact that we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives living under her roof. On Mother’s Day she screened my call, then mass-texted all four of us this gem. Happy Mother’s day, Mom!!”

Meanwhile, Stephen in Spain thought he was being considerate by waiting until later in the day to call, given the six-hour time difference. Next year, he’ll know to wake his Mom up at 4 a.m. to show her JUST HOW MUCH HE CARES!

Writes our anonymous submitter: “Unable to visit my mother last year for Mother’s Day, my partner and I sent her a box of chocolate truffles and an antique brooch. This is her ‘thank you’ note (which is really more like a ‘fuck you’ note).”

The final “fuck you,” of course, is the nearly indecipherable handwriting. Here’s the transcription:

Looked forward to seeing you on Mother’s day. In Lieu of such optimism I enjoyed the truffles as fattening as they are + the pin is very attractive. Thanks. Love, Mom

“My co-worker had a ‘meet our bundle of joy’ party in a common space of his apartment building,” says our anonymous submitter in New York City, and these notes were peppered throughout the space. ”Not only did I opt out of ‘touching’ their baby, I also passed on digging into the bowl of Ruffles.”

Victoria in Foster city, California, says her brother taped this note to one of the kitchen cabinets in their mother’s house after her boyfriend took his own frozen chicken out of little brother’s grasp the night before. (Just to clarify that mess of pronouns: it was Victoria’s boyfriend’s chicken. Not that it really matters.)

“He’s 17 and constantly PMS-ing and thinks he has reign of the house,” Victoria says of her brother. So, in response, Victoria did whatever any older sibling does when a parent tells you to suck it up and act your age. (Namely: exactly the opposite.)

Amy spotted this attached to a mailbox in Monroe, North Carolina. Writes amy: “I have no idea which flower it was (there were many that were still left on the porch), but I was impressed by the effort the victim took with this note — it was written on poster board and left up for quite a few days.”

(And the posterboard…was a birthday gift…purchased with her own money!!!)