A no-win situation for 49ers / With West almost in hand, Dallas game meaningless

RAY RATTO

Published 4:00 am, Sunday, December 8, 2002

2002-12-08 04:00:00 PDT Irving, Texas -- Journalism 2-A says that with the 49ers back here for the third consecutive season, we need to revisit Terrell Owens and his national breakout on "Star Search" -- you know, the day he danced on the Cowboy Star.

Twice.

But you know what? We're going to let it go, be-

cause frankly, it's just not relevant anymore.

At least not while the 49ers have these other matters to attend to, namely, trying to position themselves for that painful first-round wild-card game at Candlestick Sur la Mer with either New Orleans, Tampa Bay or Atlanta.

That is, if all goes well, which as you can see is a relative term. If not, they could end up in Tampa, New Orleans, Atlanta, or worse for them and their extremities, Green Bay or Philadelphia.

Now what sensible 49er employee would feel like dancing after scenarios like those?

Herein, then, lies the real annoyance about today's game against the Cowboys. After you get past the rich and storied history that goes back to the second Nixon administration, after you speed through Owens' first brush with show biz, you are left with the game itself, and the three available outcomes, all of which lead to the same end.

-- One, the 49ers get beat, which would satisfy the Send Mooch To East Lansing In A Weighted Burlap Bag crowd but few others.

-- Two, the 49ers tie, which would be a minimally less painful version of Outcome One.

-- And Three, in which they win the game, be it by one point or 40.

If they win, they will be tied with Tampa Bay, which plays Atlanta in Florida, or lead the Falcons by a half-game. They will probably still be a game behind Philadelphia (playing at Seattle with the redoubtable A.J. Feeley) and the Packers (playing at home against Minnesota with the infinitely more redoubtable Brett Favre).

And while anything can happen between now and the first of the year, those who plan on "anything" usually end up with "what you saw coming a month ago."

Fact is, the 49ers are in a weird little box here. They are all but done with the NFC West, a division of Quaker settlements and Division II schools, so whatever your issues with the coach, the defensive coordinator, the quarterback, the running back, the placekicker or even T The O, you've still got a division champ here.

What you don't have, though, is a team that gives you confidence that it can beat any of their direct competitors. They have already been washed, waxed and vacuumed out by the Eagles and Saints. They have a lousy history against the Packers. The Buccaneers have the best defense in football. They haven't even seen Mike Vick yet.

Dance? It's a wonder they don't come in wearing overcoats over their heads.

But why should it be any other way for these guys? They came in with a 10- win caliber team that somehow won 12 games a year ago, thereby throwing expectations atop the already existing dissatisfaction with a coach who has had the gall to win 60 percent of his games. As a result, the thin receiving corps, the quarterback who hates his pocket, the defense with no safeties and the kicking game from Cirque du Soleil has an 8-4 record that looks as appealing as a garage fire.

But the 49ers knew the job was dangerous when they took it, so if their feelings are hurt by the lack of evident appreciation, there's always that swing shift at the transmission joint. The appreciation's the same, you get paid less money, and auto parts occasionally drop onto your foot.

What makes this seem even less successful is the way the rest of the conference has shifted. Nobody thought the Falcons would be any good at all, or that the Eagles would be so much better. The Bucs were supposed to have more offense and less defense under Jon Gruden. The only thing the 49ers have on their side, other than their own efforts, is the fact that the Rams skipped September entirely.

Thus, today's game against the Cowboys may stir up the old memories, but it isn't likely to materially affect the hard, cold here and now. The 49ers are pretty much where they're going to end up -- in the playoffs, but not necessarily for very long.

And if they do make an extended run in January, they will not do it as the dynastic, swaggering 49ers of old, but in the same way the Patriots, Rams and Ravens did -- as a complete, jaw-dropping, drool-extracting shock to everyone in America.