You poor thing.
I hope he had the decency to take you to the hospital and call whomever needed to be notified.
Even if things don't work out, don't let this take away the fact that you just brought a beautiful life into this world. Everything will work out, whether he will be a part of your life or not.
Congratulations on motherhood, OP.

not to be too harsh but that why your supposed to wait for marriage . . ant that's why there's condoms and birth control and morning after pills . . the list goes on because if that's the baby's dad you're stuck with him for the rest of your life and then there's what it does to the child. If that's not the father, well dang girl maybe you should have spent some time setting you and the baby up rather than dating around while pregnant with another dudes baby . . . his timing suck but you make really bad choices so I don't blame him for leaving. . . sorry but true

You poor thing.
I hope he had the decency to take you to the hospital and call whomever needed to be notified.
Even if things don't work out, don't let this take away the fact that you just brought a beautiful life into this world. Everything will work out, whether he will be a part of your life or not.
Congratulations on motherhood, OP.

To be honest I dont think we can say whether hes a complete jerk or not, we dont have any information. For all we know they could be a couple of 20 year olds, and OP missed the pill one day and got pregnant, and refused to have an abortion, in which case he wouldnt be a total jerk, but just very bad timing. Or it could just be a pair of 30 year olds and the guy backed out last minute because he was a coward. But we dont know, so lets not jump on high horses. I think whatever the situation is though, we can agree that OP's life is indeed fucked.

64- both of those situations kinda still make him sound like a total jerk... My mom always told me that if I was adult enough to be having sex, I was adult enough to take care of any babies that showed up. Whether OP and her guy are 20 and it was accidental, or 30 and he's a coward, he still ought to man up and be there for her and the baby, they don't have to be a couple to take care of that child.

Even if she refused to get an abortion, it gives him no reason to be a jerk. hopefully, he took her to the hospital and remains in the child's life; he doesnt have to stay with her but that is his child too, whether he likes it or not.

yea, but the op doesn't state that he just abandon her right then and there...Yea, it was horrible timing that her water happened to break while he was breaking up with her, but it doesn't say her water broke, then he broke up with her. like a previous commenter said, people don't have to be together just because they are having a child. people are so quick to judge.

64 - you're making out that she is partly to blame if she refused to have an abortion. To refuse to have an abortion is one of the bravest things anyone can ever do, especially if they're 20 years old and she missed the pill and got pregnant by mistake. He's the dick whatever way you put it here - you do not get a girl pregnant and then run away at the last minute. If you 'get' a baby, you've made the decision, involuntarily or not, to raise the commitment stakes. Giving the girl blame for not having an abortion is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard in my life and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'Disclaiming responsibility' is not the same as an abortion, in this case it's just a cop out. An abortion is often a decision a couple makes together. It's not fair that a guy is able to just walk away and pretend it never happened, while leaving the woman on her own with a child to take care of. There is a reason child support exists, iris extremely difficult and expensive to go it on your own.

But a guy should have equal opportunity to "opt out" of parenthood. Say within 12 weeks of establishing paternity via affidavit or dna testing he should have to either sign papers giving up rights or start paying support. Allowing a woman the chance to get out of it by having abortion and not allowing the man any way out at all is not, by ANY definition, equal rights.

I honestly agree with 103, TO A POINT. It's not right that if a woman doesn't want a child, she has options of abortion or adoption, but if a man fits anything but care for the child, he is the scum if the earth. Also, woman having abortions when the man WANTS the baby and would be willing to care for it on his own is not right either. But, in a perfect world, I think people should care for their child, and if they are not fit to parent, there are surgeries and abstinence, and if accidental, adoption. OP, no matter the outcome, this is horrible and I wish the best. It's not exactly the sorry you want to tell your child, but having two myself, neither births were storybook, though they were memorable. I hope the dad who ever he may be, the one in the story or not, (doesn't specify) will be their at least for the child, if bit you as well. Good luck, and enjoy your little miracle. When you look deep into those little eyes, nothing else seems to matter.

Well, the man can opt out of the parenting part if he wishes. There are lots of ways to do that.
He is, however, if it's his baby, still on the hook for child support.
If he's man enough to wet his dick, he's man enough to...
Damn, no good rhymes, but you get the point.
He can leave the woman but he still bears some financial responsibility.

You know that a woman can harvest the sperm from a used condom and use that to impregnate herself and he's /still/ on the hook for child support, right?

Males have pretty much zero rights when it comes to children. There is no opt-out clause, no legal say in abortion, very little legal say in adoption. He can be as vocal as he likes in his opinion, but at the end of the day, she has 100% control of what happens, including ruining his life by forcing parenthood/financial burden on him.

But if he doesn't step up for whatever reason, including knowing he's not mature enough to have his life ruined by a mistake they both made, then he's the asshole?

There is a short time period in which she can harvest viable sperm from a used condom. Somewhere on the order of 30 minutes or less depending on whether or not there is a spermicidal lubricant involved. Look it up yourself if you don't believe the truth.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm against women having abortions as well. In my perfect world, it wouldn't exist. That doesn't mean I would judge anyone who had one, in my perfect world everyone who got pregnant would keep the child. I believe that if you are having sex, whether recreational or not, a child can be produced no matter the amount of birth control used, so expect the possibility that you might get pregnant; men and women included. Of course, it's my opinion and I am not going to force anyone to do what I want, but if a woman chooses to keep a baby, then the man should not "opt out". Even if he knows he's too "immature" it should be a reminder that he is old enough to reproduce and that he needs to grow up, honestly. If the woman wants to go through the hassle of being a single mother, the LEAST, and I mean the most possible least, amount the man can do is provide financial aid for the child he helped create.

That's mainly because the birth control women have effects the body differently. The pill can be used to prevent eggs from being released, while others can just block the entry to the egg. Men only have condoms, because, well.... all you need for men is to prevent the sperm from coming out. I mean, you can count a vasectomy as a form of birth control technically. They're are also testing a form of male oral contraceptives that prevent the male's body from producing sperm

You just file documents with the appropriate court, in Michigan it's the Friend of the Court. They determine what he should pay based on income and send him a notice to appear. So no, you don't sue but kind of works the same I guess. They even backdate it from the time you separated or whatever.

In Florida, you go through the child support enforcement, which runs under the department of revenue. Same thing here as far as determining the amount to be paid, based on income and all. And sometimes it takes a while for things to go through, but the father has to pay from the day the child was born.

Good luck and congratulations OP!! Although we don't know the entire story, your boyfriend is a jerk to break up with you while you're pregnant. He's the one missing out I'm sure!

I knew someone would bust out the "sue for child support". You know why? Because she's not financially stable. How about next time they think about their future, and plan ahead. There's not enough info to come to conclusions, maybe they did plan and were ready for the next step but the boyfriend cowardly left.

Ideally, everyone should think about their future and PLAN when they're having children,
but we all know that not everyone does this. When a baby happens, both parties share some
responsibility. Typically the man bolts and the woman is left to raise the child alone.
That's why there are child support statutes on the legal books.
Unfortunately enforcement is typically a state by state thing.
Unless he's in the military or has a government job, it typically takes a long
while before things get to the point where the courts will step in and force the biological father to pay.

Regardless if the mother is financially stable or not, it's still the father's duty to take care of his child. Yes people should plan such a big thing like that, but they both brought the baby into the world, they BOTH have the responsibility to take care of the child. If the parents are separated, by all means the mother should file for child support. I learned my lesson the hard way.

So by your logic then if both parents are responsible for raising the child and they separate and the mother gets custody, moves away or won't let the man see the child, he should be able to appeal to reverse her decision?

I cant help but picture it like the Sims 3. Your water breaks at the most unfortunate time whilst breaking up with your boyfriend, then suddenly getting a +80 moodlet for giving birth, you get back together, pay off all your debts with motherlode, then one of you die once your pool ladder/door mysteriously disappears.

Given that the alternative is him being in the delivery room, faking it, with a woman he doesn't love - I think this was actually the better course of action. There is no way he could've known that the water would break - and this way, he can still be present as the father, but without all the fake feelings, etc.

79- And it is not his medical procedure. He has no right to be in the delivery room. In fact, his being there could make things worse, like slowing or stalling her labor. She needs to be as calm as possible, and certainly doesn't need the stress of that asshole in the room.

look, until the op says otherwise, no one said he wouldn't be there for her. we have all gone through crappy break ups, but that doesn't mean they are all bad. granted, he shouldn't have waited until the last minute, that doesn't mean he won't be there for her. I came from a broken home, and I truly believe my sister's and I would have been better off if my parents had split sooner.

#94, totally agree with you. My brother and I would have had a happier childhood is my patents split up sooner, rather than later.
They were fine after the divorce and got on better and we saw them finally happy. Don't really speak to my Father these days, he has a new family, but that's his choice.

Well obviously it's the mother's decision... I'm saying that if the mother wants the father of the baby there, he should be there. He can't be like, "Oh well I broke up with you I can leave now and have no responsibility for this child" and not be there for the woman he impregnated.

And seriously people, you're assuming that he isn't the father. This FML does not have enough detail to be complete without any assumptions. For all we know, he could be someone she dated 2 days. I'm thinking that he is the father because it makes it even worse and that it would be a HUGE Fml.

Yeah but if he had any kind of doubts he should've voiced them earlier. Then they could've talked about it beforehand and come to an agreement before the birth rather than him putting her in such an incredibly upsetting and distressing position.

Male SPECIES? What, are males not the same species as females? Also, the fact that he's a guy doesn't have anything to do with how much of a scumbag he is. It saddens me to see how many people agree with you.

I completely agree with you!! Plus, they do not know the reason he broke up with her, maybe shes a cheating whore, maybe she's been drinking or doing drugs during pregnancy and he found out and needed out. Maybe she's a completely abusive spouse, it DOES happen!
Maybe he is truly just an ass but its her fml so everyone assumes shes in the right here.

as a woman who has actually given birth i can tell you that it is after the birth when you get bacl home that you need your partner the most not in the delivery room. if he no longer wanted to be with her he had to say at some point. maybe it was the shock that broke her waters

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