Deep Thoughts from the Yogi

by Dean Rieck

Yogi Berra was a better baseball player than he was a speaker. But he's probably quoted more than Churchill. Much of what he said seems silly, until you think about it for a moment. Then you discover a more profound meaning.

Here are a few of my favorite Yogi-isms. Each is like a Rorschach test and self-help course rolled up in one.

"You can't think and hit at the same time."

"Nobody goes there, it's too crowded."

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."

"The only reason I need these gloves is 'cause of my hands."

"We were overwhelming underdogs."

"The other team could make trouble for us if they win."

"It's never happened in World Series history, and it hasn't happened since."

"It's déjà vu all over again!"

"We made too many wrong mistakes."

"If people don't come to the ballpark, how are you gonna stop them?"

"If you ask me a question, I don't know I'm not going to answer."

"Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."

"It was hard to have a conversation with anyone, there were too many people talking."

"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"We're lost, but we're making good time."

"If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be."

"If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping."

"I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4."

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

"It gets late early out here."

"90% of the game is half mental."

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."

"Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died."

"I'm as red as a sheet."

"I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question."

"Pair up in threes."

"Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken."

"Don't get me right, I'm just asking!"

"Never answer an anonymous letter."

"You can observe a lot by watching."

"It's not too far, it just seems like it is."

"You've got to be careful if you don't know where you're going 'cause you might not get there."

"We have a good time together, even when we're not together."

"Little League baseball is a good thing 'cause it keeps the parents off the streets and it keeps the kids out of the house!"