Wii Fit

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“I have never had so much fun standing in one spot for 2 hours. It almost felt like it was worth buying a $300 plastic board for it! It's not like I'm falling into another one of Nintendo's evil sale schemes. Right?”

Wii Fit is a game developed by Nintendo. Its original title was "Wii 'Я' Fat", but that did not bode so well with Nintendo's core audience. The game was designed to tell you that you're fat. Yes, you. You are fat. Stop reading this article and run some laps, fatty.

In an attempt to take advantage of worldwide obesity, Nintendo released a game that absorbs your energy and transmit it to their headquarters so that they may feast upon your energy and feed the leftovers to Satan. However, those that weigh over 350 lbs. You are out of luck, because Nintendo thinks that if you are that fat then there is no hope for you, and cease to be efficient enough for their energy collection. Have you run some laps yet, Fatty McFat Fat Fatty?

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You can purchase the balance board and software for between $70, USD and $474, USD. You can obtain the game disc separately by trading over 9,000 different Nintendo-licensed Pokemon trading cards. Alternatively, you can bend over and take it up the ass.

First, one must void their contract with Hostess Cupcakes. The next step is very complicated, and must be completed within twenty-four hours of step one. The Fit-ee must sell their soul to Nintendo. After these two steps are completed, one must walk into Mordor, and cast Microsoft and/or Sony videogaming paraphenelia into the fires of Mt. Doom. Other steps may be assigned if Nintendo either A) feels like it, or B) just doesn't like you.

This game requires 2 people. Preferably a man and a women. They strip of off their pants and have intercourse. That is why this game has been a popular release. Although 2 men can play this game, it is recommended that this doesn't doesn't happen because nintendo will sue you for not following the terms and conditions (see page 472)

Players have the option of viewing either a male or female striptease for them on the screen. If you are a woman, straight or lesbian, than this game is not for you so stop reading and go cook. If you are a straight man playing this game, you are no longer straight. If you are a gay man playing this than you will see a woman strip and perform until you are confused about your sexuality