If this is a constant problem, your wife may need counseling to deal with anger or resentment that may have nothing at all to do with you. If this is an occasional issue, there’s a lot that the two of you can do to deal with it. Continue reading why your wife might insult you.

My Wife Insults Me When We Fight

Even normally peaceful women tend to lash out when they’re angry, often with words they don’t really mean or believe.

In the case of your wife, that lashing out takes the form of an insulting or demeaning comment about you. It’s important that you talk about the effect that this is having on you. If she usually apologizes or retracts her words later, she may think that there is no lasting effect.

One thing you can try is to ask her to start her comments with the word “I” rather than the word “you” when she feels an insult coming on. Very often, when a woman says something like “You’re lazy!”, what she really means is “I feel like you don’t care about me because you don’t help around the house.” One way she can remember to try this is to remind herself “It’s all about me”, when you’re in an argument.

In truth, when you’re arguing it is “all about me.” Couples don’t fight so much about what was done or said, but about how it made them feel. BY starting her sentences with “I” instead of “you”, your wife is more likely to tell you about how she feels than how you’ve failed.

My Wife Insults Me in Fun

Another common complaint is that a wife makes comments, either alone or in front of others that are meant to be in jest but are hurtful just the same. Sometimes women do this merely to try to be funny; other times, they’re trying to establish a commonality.

For instance, a friend’s wife says that her husband bought her the wrong flowers for Valentine’s Day and your wife jokes that you usually buy her a plastic rose from the 7-11. If that’s true, your wife is probably trying to get your attention by publicly joking about something that privately hurts. If it isn’t true, she’s probably just trying to commiserate. Either way, you feel insulted.

Biting back with a retort is tempting, especially when you’re embarrassed in front of others. However, it’ll only call more attention to your wife’s comment and likely escalate into an argument later.

When the two of you are alone, explain that her comments, joking or not, degrade and hurt you. She honestly may not be aware of the pain she’s causing. Even if she is aware, try to talk about whether there are underlying issues. Is she trying to call your attention to a resentment she’s been harboring?

Marriage is a work forever in progress. You’re never finished perfecting it, unless it’s over. If your wife insults you or you insult her, for whatever reason, both retaliation and swallowing your hurt silently are equally destructive.

Make “My Wife Insults Me” a Thing of the Past

It’s often difficult for spouses to be completely honest with one another in situations like this, but it’s often the best thing you can do.

A healthy relationship requires established lines of communication, so if you feel that you can’t voice your concerns with your spouse, then you may need to seek help.

You’ve already taken the first steps by reading this article. It isn’t always easy to ask for help, but sometimes it’s completely necessary.

If you’re ready to repair your marriage, then it’s time to take a few more steps in the right direction.

I developed Marriage Fitness for couples who needed a powerful counseling tool to help them work through their problems. It’s designed so that it can done with both spouses together, or on your own.

It’s fast, it’s effective, and your first lesson is free. So if you’re unsure if this can help your relationship, then I urge you to give it a try with no obligations.