Social Compliance principle

Principle

We must comply with social rules (or face dire social
consequences).

How it works

We have deep needs for
belonging,
esteem and
status which help create
our sense of identity. These are
satisfied when others accept and admire us. We hence have to take note of their
approval and act in ways that will lead to them behaving in ways that lead to
satisfaction of our deep needs.

Social rules

As everyone is impacted by the same forces, we come to agreement about common
social norms which we
adopt as values. Common rules
help us predict how others
will behave and so we can feel safe
when we are surrounded by others who obey these rules.

Reward and punishment

One of the key reasons social compliance works is because of the
consequences. Those who comply with social rules are rewarded with greater
admiration and status. Those who break rules are punished according to further
rules of appropriateness. Hence a minor transgression may be punished with a
stern glance while a major failure can result in public criticism and even
ostracization.

One of the common (but often hidden) rules is that everyone should engage in
praise of the worthy and, especially, punishment of the guilty. It is not good
enough to sit back, for to do so is to tacitly approve of transgressions. To not
punish is to become guilty and so be deserving of punishment. This lock-in
amplifies the power of social rules.

Universality

Rules can exist at varying levels of commonality. Not hurting
vulnerable people, for
example, is a common rule that is found in many places, although rules of who
should respect who and how respect should be shown may vary greatly.

Some rules can be very localized, for example only applying within small
groups or regions. Such customs may seem strange but they help define the
identity of the group and also help identify outsiders who do not comply with
these rules.

Rules may also be made explicit and mandatory within any given society, by
formalizing them as as laws, policies and other structures which are agreed as
important for compliance. Laws are typically created when there is insufficient
natural compliance and where the subject is considered serious enough to require
policing.

So what?

When you are persuading, always consider how the other person will frame what
you are asking of them in terms of how people will see them (especially those
whose views are important to them).

Align your requests with social norms and other
rules. Show how what you are asking is legal and also complies with less formal
rules.

Frame your requests in terms of the social benefits to them, gaining
them status and helping them belong. You can also show the social threats of not
complying.