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Jun 8, 2012

Keeping it Real

I was emailing with a friend the other day and got into a discussion about how much blogs and life portrayed on them is dramatized in an overly glamorous way. Who are all of these perfect people? I am certainly not one of them.

I love all of the recent Things I'm Afraid to Tell Youposts; it is amazing and refreshing for everyone to bare their insecurities and fears here on the blogosphere, and to realize that none of us are perfect, and that that's okay. So here goes...

Charlie and I love life here in Dominica although it is not glamorous by any means. We don't wear resort wear 24/7 {or ever, really}, nor do we drink piña coladas in lounge chairs on the beach daily {or even monthly}. If I take a picture of our apartment or kitchen to share, will I tidy it up first? Probably. But I would also do the same thing if I knew you were stopping by our apartment.

Although I like to cook, I hate baking and am not very domestic. I hate housework and my apartment is basically never clean, even though we have a cleaning lady who comes and cleans for about an hour once a week (mainly mopping our tile floors that get so filthy and cleaning the bathroom).

We don't do our own laundry. For us, laundry day means dropping off our laundry at our neighbor, Gertrude's house. Like most students here, we pay someone to do our laundry because there are no laundromats here and hardly anyone has a washer or dryer. The cost of electricity here in Dominica is astronomical, so it just isn't practical. I tried several times to wash my laundry {in a bucket in the shower} and hang it on a clothesline to dry, and it 1) was miserable 2) took forever and 3) our clothes still smelled sweaty afterwards. So we pay about 30 EC ($10 US) a week for Gertrude to do our laundry in her washer and dryer. Done deal.

We live in an overpriced, sub par apartment. It does the trick for Dominica, but it's definitely not nice by American standards. Bugs and creatures crawl into our apartment on a daily basis, and we even had a rat chew through our screen window once. {Yes, it was weird, and yes, we freaked out!}

Do you see our sketchy metal railings and cement stairs? And the metal rods that stick out of the building on the stairs and roof? Yep, home sweet home. Don't get me wrong, we really do love it here, and we actually really like out apartment, but I'm just showing you the good, the bad, and the ugly (in the case, it's the good and the ugly!).

We sweat constantly in the humid Caribbean heat, especially this time of year. I cannot wait for the day that I can take a picture without a shiny, sweaty face, and not looking like I just stepped out of a sauna.

Luckily, my friend Crystal is an awesome photographer and can really work some magic. {How cute is that puppy, by the way?!? It's all I can do to not bring home some sort of ridiculously cute stray animal on a daily basis!}

I have been unemployed since we moved to the Caribbean in August 2010. There are few jobs available here, and even fewer for foreigners. The jobs that are available are jobs that I am just not interested in, jobs that pay very little or are just not worth my time. I do spend my time volunteering with local schools and organizations, so I definitely keep myself busy.

Since I am unemployed and Charlie is in school, we are basically living entirely off of student loans. I try not to think about it too much, because it's pretty scary.

At home, I was an art teacher, and I worry about what I will do when we return to the states since we will have to move often in the next couple of years - this is not conducive to teaching or to jobs in general. I would love to get back into painting and drawing, but I am so out of practice that I get really frustrated whenever I try to create something new. I have no idea what sort of career I would like to have when I return to this U.S. I'm thinking something creative or something in the non-profit world, but basically I'm really confused. I don't even know what sort of job I will be able to get with the pending moves, and that makes it all the more difficult. I turn 30 next week, and I feel like I still don't have anything figured out.

I care way too much about what other people think and about pleasing others. I also get really stressed out and anxious when I think that I have hurt someones feelings, even in the slightest. Sometimes this consumes me, and I am working hard on moving on, not dwelling, and just letting things go.

Don't worry, life is good and we are doing well. Charlie and I both have learned so much about ourselves since moving here. We are both growing, learning daily, and becoming brave and adventurous, and that's all the stuff that we usually like to share with you. But today, it felt good to let my guard down and share my insecurities. Thanks for reading!