As I sit here, in my dark, cold, slightly off smelling room not far from the busy urban jungle of the City they call London I think to myself…is this really the best opening sentence I could come up with?

The latest installment in the Call of Duty series

Earlier this week I decided to splash the cash on a new Xbox, “you already have one sexy Typhon!!” I hear you scream with immense enthusiasm in your voice, well I decided to get a new one, why? Because I can and I have a real problem with money management. After purchasing my new Sexbox I bought Medal of Honor Warfighter (Honour* Grammar matters) and Call of Duty: Black Ops 26.

To cut a long story short…and trust me playing Black Ops feels long, I’m pretty sure it’s some sort of time saving device, making 10 minutes of gameplay seem like an eternity of anal rape.

I started Medal of Honor first as I’ve lost a lot of interest in the Call of Duty series, the idea of a game being produced just to make money puts me off. I still bought it though so who am I to complain? I’m just like every other game addicted whore, “I’ll do anything Activision, I’ll even spend a ridiculous amount, I’ll even pretend that the idea of heading into the future halfheartedly was a good idea, just let me have the game” That’s actually how I ordered it. Anyway, Warfighter was a really good game with a great single player, it’s like playing battlefield 3 with ASPLOISIOIOOIOIONISINSINSNS!!** (spell check), new guns and some other cool gear with a great story line that you can really sink your teeth into. I haven’t bothered playing online because I just don’t have any time to waste getting molested by better gamers. Warfighter uses the Frostbite 2 Engine, the same Engine BF3 uses…so obviously it’s amazing and rubs it’s hairy technologically superior balls all over the ‘Quake32146246357vXIWpoppywoop’ Engine Black Ops uses.

Once I finished Warfighter I started Black Cocks 2, I have no idea what the story line is because I ignore/skip the cut scenes and it’s not really that interesting because it’s just ‘tired’. I haven’t completed the single player because my inner child died after being severely beaten with the cane of capitalism. There is one part of the game I DO LIKE (WARNING THE NEXT PART IS POSITIVE) that part is the Zombie mode. The Zombie mode can be 4 player co-op which is great fun, it’s insanely addictive and you will find yourself shouting at each other with words of joy and criticism. I refuse to play the Multiplayer though, kids shouting at me over Xbox live(which I have to pay for, CAPATALIST PIGS!!!) if I wanted to hear kids screaming at me I would open my basement door.

In conclusion I prefer Medal of Honor over Call of Duty but I will probably play Call of Duty for longer as the Zombie mode is really addictive. I also conclude that my review was really poor but you get what you’re given Internet!!!