on mothers day i got told (for the millionth time) "i hate you". and "were better off without you" and that the kids act up because i didn't teach them anythingyesterday my 3 yr old ripped every last one of my surprise gladiolas (that i paid for and planted last year gave up on and they decided to grow this year and were looking good) the dog ran thru the flower patch that dh planted and my "perennial" mums from dh last year turned out to be annuals and didn't come back up. so even last years mothers day gifts are gone.i have tried to get over this, but i just can't. i cry when i think about it or hear about the things that kids did for their mothers. dh does not get why i am so upset over a "hallmark holiday" and stated that sleeping in, waking to fresh made pancakes and not cooking dinner should be good enough... but one day out of every weekend is like that so how does that make mothers day 'special' for me it was just like every other weekend

is it normal to be upset about it? or am i just throwing myself a pity party?(also i have not told dh how upset i really am about this, he thinks i am ok with it and i am leaving it that way so as to not start a fight about it)mil and 2 of dh's aunts all sent me cards and mils had a monetary gift in it, mil also had the kids make me cards on monday after ds tiold her that they didn't do anything for mothers day so at least one person tried to make me feel special

dd always tells me she hates me and ds is the one that thinks that he would be better off without me.... (dh said it once during a fight and apologized for it but ds still uses it when hes mad about something)i am still a bit upset. dh tried to fix it by secretly booking me a massage and going to 6 different greenhouses to find the perennial mums and finaly found one that had 3 left. they are different than the ones that i wanted but they will be beautiful too, i just hope they return next year. he also picked up some new glad bulbs and said there is still time to plant new ones so i will be doing that today, will probably plant sunflowers and weed the veggie garden too since gardening makes me feel betteri am looking foreward to this massage too. i definitely deserve it!

You do deserve the massage for sure. Your husband needs to reinforce what he said was wrong (in front of the kids so they can hear that he was wrong and hurtful) and apologize to your children and you both if he hasn't already. Its total B.S. that he is feeding them hurtful things.

This must be the week that men turn into butt! Sorry you had such a shitty Mothers Day. Mine was not so good but much better than yours was. I must give your DH some props for trying to makes things better after the fact. I really hope that he comes to see the light before you've had enough of his mistreatment. He should be helping to rise the kids in the right way not bashing you in front of them. Kids learn what they SEE not what they are told.

dh is working on it. after ds made another remark that was similar he talked to ds and explained how it was wrong to talk like that and daddy made a mistake when he said those things and so on. dh is also working on getting the kids to do stuff when i ask them to. they ignore all my requests and dh is working on fixing that so that my days may be easier.with the amount of crap i have been dealing with i have lost all libido, and all desire to go anywhere/do anything. and dh has noticed that i am burnt out. he has been taking over and trying to be more helpful with the kids. i am just patiently awaiting school starting in the fall when ds will go to school and things will be a bit easier since dd is simple when its just the 2 of us.in the meantime i hope that the kids can learn some new good things from dh.

I am so glad your DH is helping you out and that he did make an effort to make up for Mother's Day. I know you have had some problems in the past with him not being the most supportive, so that is great that he is finally noticing how hard it is on you. Hopefully with the two of you working together, the kids will start to listen better. I have been having a really hard time with my two being sassy and not listening, so I know how draining it is to spend your entire day disciplining and fighting to get even the simplest things done. Enjoy the massage!!