Dying Daily

Dying Daily #269: Beneath the Wheel

June 16, 2017

The number of people I meet who live in a constant state of unworthiness/self-hatred/self-criticism/general self-loathing is really heartbreaking sometimes.

I know that I am probably going to encounter more people with this struggle because of my line of work and because of the part of the country I live in, but I think this is a general affliction many people suffer under.

It is sad to see people learn to hate themselves for the very things that make us human, but it is also very common. It seems like we are trained to fit into the “right” way of being a human from the moment we are born, and this process of crushing us into molds continues until the day we die.

We are told that many of the things that are just part of being human are wrong, that we are deficient and inherently impure, and then we wonder why we live with a constant and pervasive sense of guilt.

In a sad irony, many people are driven to truly unhealthy behavior by this sense of guilt, giving them one more thing to feel unworthy about.

Who would you be without all the stories and judgments that have been directed at you over the course of your life?

How would you feel about yourself if you could step outside the narratives and ideologies that were placed on you before you had any conscious choice?

Are you able to discern the things that you do that are actually harmful or unhealthy versus those that are just outside social norms or inconvenient for other people?

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“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.” Nietzsche