Saturday, January 31, 2009

Saturday morning I spent my time at the church filling the communion trays. This was my day to wash all the trays and during time I had some interesting revelations.

While washing the trays, I found great satisfaction in seeing them come out of the water nice and shiny. They were so clean I could see my face in each of them. One by one I washed, dried, and stacked them on the counter behind me.

When I came back to them, I noticed that the smudge marks on the trays from the bread were still there. But when I took them out of the water....they were gone? So I washed them as second time focusing a little harder on getting the stains off this time. I put more soap in and made the water even hotter. So hot I couldn't even touch it anymore. I felt this was finally doing the trick. But then, I turn around again, and the trays still have smudges. I know the trays are very clean and ready for use, but I wasn't content with smudges. I wanted to make them shiny. I wanted to make them like new. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get them to go away on my own. I could have used a brillo pad or even steel wool, but those would have just left permanent scratches on the trays and they would have been ruined for good.

I thought to myself "There has to be a lesson in this...there's a lesson in everything" and even as I stood puzzeled, Terry walked in and I had to share with story with him. But I had not yet figured out what the lesson was.

The more I cleaned....the more happy I was that I could see myself in the tray. A shiny beautiful reflection of myself was glaring back each time. Just putting it in the water was not good enough. I had to really WANT it to go away. I didn't have to work really hard on all of them, but some of them were more smudged than others.

I am so happy that God uses his devine perfection to wash my sins away. It's never hard for Him. I make it harder on myself. The process of scrubbing and using hot water is more of the approach I would use. I'm glad that He makes it so much easier. When I stop and forgive myself in the way He forgives me, life seems to be so much easier.

Stranger things have happned but.....I had put the trays to the side, thinking I may give them one more cleaning. When I came back to them, the smudges were gone. Completely gone.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I have had a horrible headache since yesterday and can't seem to shake it. So I thought I would share with you some interesting things.

Did you know that the word migraine is French in origin and comes from the Greek hemicrania, as does the Old English term megrim. Literally, hemicrania means "only half the head". I knew this couldn't be good.

I've heard that if I stick a bananna peel on the affected area it will cure this. Um....I've never tried that...but getting desperate.

Did you know that migraines can be caused by the FEAR of ....yes...FOUL ODORS? This is called....."Osmophobia". Don't believe me...look it up!

Okay....most people know what I do at work and the fact that it deals with "FOUL ODORS" at times really seems to be hitting home with me tonight. I have worked the past 2 nights and, in fact, have had to deal with some pretty serious odors. And now....I have a terrible headache.

But again tonight, as I am sitting here, I remember what I made for lunch today. Um...yes...Tuna Fish...and yes....with hard boiled eggs. You can only imagine the aroma this leaves in the refrigerator and how it hits me each time that door is sprung€ open. It's like that green smoke you see on the cartoons that is coming from "Pepe Le Pew". So now I think I am onto something for these headaches.

Or...could be the simple fact that the kids are out of school....ONE MORE DAY!!!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Last night he sang "Who needs the world" for the Grandparent's Banquet at church. I wasn't nervous for him but he looked a little scared. Once he started singing you couldn't tell he was nervouse at all. He hasn't sang in 2 years! I don't know what changed him but 2 years ago he quit singing and has been withdrawn. Last night was a new beginning for him. And I loved to see him receive all the encouragement. Not only from adults, but from his peers too. I think it was just the encouragement he needed.

I don't know if he will continue to sing, but I sure hope so. He sings duets at home with me all the time and loves to write music. I just hope that he will continue to bless others just as he did last night. I know, my heart was overwhelmed. But hey....I'm his mom!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Seems like something I hear a lot of in church from fellow Christians is "I'm not comfortable praying out loud" or "I don't know how to pray out loud". There's just something about it that makes some people uncomfortable.

I would be one of these people. I pray daily. PRIVATELY! It is usually early in the morning before the sun even grazes the sky. It's easier then. I can concentrate, there isn't any noise, no distractions, and if I can't sleep, having a conversation with God is one of the best ways to occupy my time. Many times, I feel that God wakes me from a deep sleep in order to get me to talk to Him. Well...that works! ;o)

I don't mind public prayer. I hear some of the most beautiful prayers by my brothers and sisters but I don't feel like I can speak like that. So....I don't. I tried for many years to be something that I am not and at age 35, I have figured out who God wants me to be. ME! Imagine that! ;o)

He didn't put big words into my mouth to use during prayer. He made me simple. He made me plain. He made me just an ordinary gal, talking to an extraordinary God.

I love that. And I don't want to be afraid to pray out loud any longer. I think I am getting better as I've had some opportunities lately to practice this and I am really starting to enjoy it. Sure....I say things that sound silly. But again, God made me silly!

Something that has really helped me is having a prayer journal, and keeping track of what I pray for and also when I have a thought during the day, I stop and write it down so that I can cover that in prayer. Sure, I could do it right then, but I want my prayer moments to grow into a deeper relationship with God.

I've read some books that have really helped in this area and I received a 28 day prayer guide from a friend. I have been using it everyday and I think not only has it made a difference in my prayer life, but in my daily walk with God. It gives me specifics, and I add to that my thoughts throughout the day. It was designed for an entire church to do together, but I have loved what it has done for me alone!

I could list a ton of things to pray about on here but the list is endless. I pray that God brings me closer to Him through the power of prayer this year and that He strengthens my ability to walk every moment with Him. I pray for whoever reads this or whoever doesn't read it that God blesses the lives of His children. He can do GREAT things through the power of prayer.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Matt 5:11-12 says "Blessed are you when people make fun of you and hurt you because of me. You are also blessed when they tell all kinds of evil lies about you because of me. Be joyful and glad. Your reward in heaven is great. In the same way, people hurt the prophets who lived long ago."

Romans 12:17-21Don't pay back evil with evil. Be careful to do what everyone thinks is right. If possible, live in peace with everyone. Do that as much as you can. My friends, don't try to get even. Leave room for God to show his anger. It is written, "I am the One who judges people. I will pay them back,"—(Deuteronomy 32:35) says the Lord. Do just the opposite. Scripture says, "If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. By doing those things, you will pile up burning coals on their heads." Don't let evil overcome you. Overcome evil by doing good. We are only here for a short time. Small things like bullies and people making fun of us are short lived. Our real treasure is made up in Heaven. And the only opinion that matters is God's.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

While earthly things tend to drag us down, we are often encouraged and sometimes even pushed to go a route that we would not choose. Sometimes that is okay. If you are following your heart. This week, I have been encourged to take a road I would rather not travel. One so far that has not been traveled by anyone else. Well, not in this specific instance.

My heart has not chosen to follow the path that others would like me to. It is not in me, and it is not who I am.

Instead, I will pray for those that have hurt me. I will pray for those that have hurt my child's pride. I pray that God touch their hearts so that they can be loving to all who they come into contact with. I'm not sure why some adults in life feel the need to treat children so badly. But it's not my job to fight them. It is my job to love them regardless of their shortcomings.

It's not easy. Hate...would be easier. Holding a grudge would be easy. But it's not who I am and not who I want to become.

All I know is that when I move on in this life, I want my kids to be able to say....

"Mom fought for us every bit of the way....and when she didn't know what else to do, she stopped fighting, prayed, and left the rest up to God"

Love your enemies! Love them. Love them. Love them like God would! We may be the only Jesus they ever see.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

As the week goes on into day three of this saga, the twist and turns of Satan have really got a hold of this.

I've said over and over, I can't fight this. I can't fight this battle. I am up against the impossible. I am in a no win situation. I know the way I can win is by simply turning and walking away from all of it.

These chains are heavy. They have been off and on for so long. But now...more than ever. And the fact that I have others that are wanting me to be "David" and fight "Goliath" just seems so unreal to me.

Today's twist of events is even stranger than Monday's or Tuesday's. But my prayer has not changed. I have sought wise counsel and made my decision. I think I am doing what's best. But they still want me to fight a giant. Fear holds me back.

II Chronicles 20:15 - 17This what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow, march out against them. You will find them coming up through the ascent of Ziz at the end of the valley that opens into the wilderness of Jeruel. But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!”

II Chronicles 20:20“Believe in the Lord your God and you will be able to stand firm.”

I think what Satan does is tries to distract us from the real problems by creating something else to make us think we are seeing clearly. Today he did that with me. He made me second guess myself. I have cried my heart out to God and I think He has given me an answer. And then yet, today was another day.

I have the power to deal with Satan. I have the power to deal with all situations that come my way. I have the power of God with me at all times.

God speaks to me and tells me no matter what....don't worry! He is taking care of it. Psalm 91The person who rests in the shadow of the Most High God will be kept safe by the Mighty One. I will say about the Lord, "He is my place of safety. He is like a fort to me. He is my God. I trust in him."

Isaiah 26:3-10Lord, you will give perfect peace to anyone who commits himself to be faithful to you. That's because he trusts in you. "Trust in the Lord forever. The Lord is the Rock. The Lord will keep us safe forever. He brings down those who are proud. He pulls down cities that have high walls. They fall down flat on the ground. He throws them down to the dust. The feet of those who were crushed stomp on them. Those who were helpless walk all over them." Lord, you are honest and fair. You guide those who do what is right. You lead them on a straight path. You make their way smooth. Lord, we are living the way your laws command us to live. We are waiting for you to act. Our hearts long for you to be true to your name. That's what you are known for. My heart longs for you at night. My spirit longs for you in the morning. You will come and judge the earth. Then the people of the world will learn to do what is right. Grace is shown to sinful people. But they still don't learn to do what is right.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I tend to believe that things happen for a reason. Good....or bad. I think that everything that happens may not exactly "come from God" but the fact is, God knew it would happen before it did.

I think He prepares us for those moments that we thought we could not handle. Many years ago, I would have thought that if a crisis came up in our house, that it could be the end of our marriage. But His work, is amazing.

This year, Chad and I will celebrate our 15th wedding annivesary. Right now, we are going through some very difficult times. But NOT with our marriage. It is stronger than ever! Here is what I find interesting. Over the past 6 months, we have been dealing with so much. Individually, and together. I am more in love NOW with Chad than the day I married him. I have always loved him without a doubt. But I never thought I would reach the day that my heart would beat faster each time he walks in the room just as it did when we first met. We've been through ups and downs together, but we have stuck it out through thick and thin. Many times, either one of us could have given up, but we didn't. The longer we are together the more I fall in love with him again.

There hasn't been any signifigant factors, or any moment that has caused this to happen. One day, it just did. It think....it is God preparing us. I Chronicles 29:18 confirms that God is the One who prepares our hearts, if He is our true desire. I Samuel 7:3 tells us to prepare our hearts for the Lord and remove all strange gods from our midst. Now someone could interpret these in any way they want. I am choosing to look at this as God knows that He is my first love and I desire to be with Him in the kingdom someday....and...since I have removed other things that I have/had worshipped, it makes more time for the things that are really important to me. Like making everything right with him, so my family can be right with Him, so that in everything we do, our hearts are prepared!!!

Ephesians 6:10-20Finally, let the Lord make you strong. Depend on his mighty power. Put on all of God's armor. Then you can stand firm against the devil's evil plans. Our fight is not against human beings. It is against the rulers, the authorities and the powers of this dark world. It is against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly world. So put on all of God's armor. Evil days will come. But you will be able to stand up to anything. And after you have done everything you can, you will still be standing. So stand firm. Put the belt of truth around your waist. Put the armor of godliness on your chest. Wear on your feet what will prepare you to tell the good news of peace. Also, pick up the shield of faith. With it you can put out all of the flaming arrows of the evil one. Put on the helmet of salvation. And take the sword of the Holy Spirit. The sword is God's word. At all times, pray by the power of the Spirit. Pray all kinds of prayers. Be watchful, so that you can pray. Always keep on praying for all of God's people. Pray also for me. Pray that when I open my mouth, the right words will be given to me. Then I can be bold as I tell the mystery of the good news. Because of the good news, I am being held by chains as the Lord's messenger. So pray that I will be bold as I preach the good news. That's what I should do.

I realized today that I am not David. I may be a "D" personality, but I cannot take on Golith at this time in my life. Why? Because my battle is NOT against another human. It is against the attacks of satan and I refuse to give into him.

I can't go on looking at all this that happens to us in life as hardship and hearache. But what I can do is look at this like God is preparing the road for me to come fully and completely to Him with a few bumps on the way. Not as a test....but as a testement of His love for us.

I guess I can conclued that I must be a pretty amazing, special, beautiful child of God for Satan to want my heart that much. Too bad it's just one of life's disappointment's he's going to have to get use to.

Friday, January 02, 2009

*a formal expression by a meeting; agreed to by a vote *the trait of being resolute; "his resoluteness carried him through the battle" *finding a solution to a problem *settlement: something settled or resolved; the outcome of decision making; *display; the greater the resolution, the better the picture *Solution: a statement that solves a problem or explains how to solve it. I just had to include these because in some form or another...I can relate. **the subsidence of swelling or other signs of inflammation (especially in a lung) ***(music) a dissonant chord is followed by a consonant chord

I don't really make resolutions at the beginning of the year. I consider myself a work in progress all year long. The word resolution sounds so final. But this year....I have made 10!

1. I would like to enjoy life more. 2. I would like to conquer my fears. 3. I would not like to weigh any more, or any less. 4. I would like to spend more time with family. 5. I would like to be a better friend. 6. I would like to be a better mother. 7. I would like to be a better wife. 8. I would like to be a better student. 9. I would like to be a better christian. 10.I would like to be a better person all around.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Our New Years was a little different this year. It was our first year spending it with the Youth Group at church. All I can say is "What a great group of kids"! We had such a blast.

I didn't get to stay very long. I had to get up early for work. So sadly, I left about 10:30. I wasn't too thrilled that I wasn't getting to spend New Years with Chad. That was a bummer. But I was happy he was with the kids and having a blast.

When I got home, it was quiet and lonely. I did my usual night routine and headed for bed. When I turned on the light in our room, there was this little box sitting on my pillow.

Hummm...what could it be?

With a smile on my face I opened it up to find a BEAUTFIUL new pair or earrings from Chad.

Although we couldn't spend our evening together ringing in 2009 traditionally as most couples do, he always manages to go out of his way to still make me feel like the most special person on this earth and let me know, he never forgets me.

It's not about the gift. It's about knowing when he was away at work for the day, he saw something, and thought of me.