Category: FEAR

Emotions have a purpose even when they are unwanted.

We should not attempt to suppress them as we get taught to.

Our Emotions are energy that manifest in our body. This is from the neck down. To have the need to start paying attention to where our emotional energy in sitting and learn to breath and not hold a breath against it.

The other day I got some new and my feelings just started to come up out and I was a mess crying and feeling choked and the tension of loss all came flooding out through my heart and chest and thought.

This was a time to let go and breathe and feel and wallow in my own silence.

Noticing and let it go and gaining clarity as we move and let it out and go. So pay attention to where it is manifesting in your body. Where is the tension tightness?

Emotions are a vital part of our being, because it is energy and energy cannot just disappear. The emotional energy generated by circumstances of childhood and early life just does not go away just because we do not face it and deny it, no. It is trapped in our body like a time bomb ready to explode.

If we don’t learn how to release it in a healthy way it will course us forms of sickness or cycles of not being able to achieve in life.

As long as we suppress the emotional energy and avoid dealing with it, these wounds will run our lives. We use food, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, work, religion, television, etc in keeping this all suppressed.

Our voice in our head keeps us from fronting and deal with suppressed energy, emotions. Our emotions tell us who we are. Souls communicate with us through emotional vibrations.

Our soul is what we feel in our heart and our gut, something that resonates. So was this feeling that guttered me from my soul that I am not listening to?

THERE IS TOO MUCH I CANNOT CHANGE.

I have created this world now I need to make it work.

When one of our buttons is pushed our unhealed childhood wounds are present it is hard to difference between intuitive emotions TRUTH and the emotional TRUTH which come from our childhood. The scared little kid inside us comes out in emotion we cannot explain.

Like this:

FEAR, will I end up in the right person’s eyes again?

I know this is a process I have chosen and now I have to work with it and truly find what I am searching for in my soul mate.

I know I have a lot to work on as I am not making these same mistakes again.

My life feels stuck at the moment want to release my desires. This must not be unleashed until I am certain. I am still not clear on what I don’t want and what I do want.

It’s like that relationship gone sour; to the point you don’t even want to hear what they are talking about. This always happens when my cycles come in and I get the feeling of running again.

Not wanting to be touch and this is all too real as it feels like my long relationship I had for 20 years.

Yes I get Horney but I do not even want these desires to be filled.

I am starting to regret something I did and am feeling stuck and that dirty kind of feeling again.

Am I meant to be facing this again so I can tackle them face on, facing my fears I ran away from 4 years ago.

This is coming up for me to face my fears and be done with them and be where I am meant to be with a soul mate. Life has funny ways of presenting things to us but obviously I have not completed this part of my feelings.

I know when I was forced to have sex as a child and as an adult I felt dirty after.

I just wanted to crawl up into a little ball after being in a hot shower, leaving my skin so red it looked like I had been sunburned.

Getting to the end of my married relationship I felt like a prostitute.

Having to perform sex as he had not had it for a month and I was made to feel guilty for him not having sex.

That I did not care for him. So I use to have sex with him then I only to just giving him a head job.

I knew I had to get out and I could not pretend to love him anymore. This went on for years as I detracted in emotions and feelings.

I was dead my this time not know which was is up. Like falling in a pool when you have been drinking and trying to swim to the top only to find you ate swimming to the boot.

These feelings are back not his fault. I am waiting for the two-week when he finally gets his own place and I can start living in my space again. Maybe I should not wait as it is killing me inside again.

I am also waiting for the explosion of my son’s father. I have sent him two texts and am waiting for him to finally contact me and Jackson as he can now have contact with Jackson. So I am killing inside waiting again.

Why can’t I clear this up now as I am starting to die inside again? I want to reach out so badly to the man who was in my life but I have to give him respect to gain his life back.

I am not making the same mistake and asking him back and then running again. But I am crying inside for his arms to make the little girl feel safe in this world again.

I could always be in his arms and disappear from the world with my problems and everything felt safe again. I miss that. We only start to miss what we haven’t got.

How do we let our self drift apart from something that is good for us and then we cannot put it back together.

I am scared it will never be the same and I will not be accepted and I have done too much damage.

Yes we could just start again but there is too much history for that and going backwards in life is never the answer.

Well there it is all my stuff out that I cannot share with anyone at the moment as it will ruin and hurt a lot of people. (just like when I was not believed when I was young, if I told the story I would ruin all around me.

wow stuck in it again) so I stay in my fear till I can face it with strength and know what makes me happy.