Wake the F Up: The 2 Jobs of Barack Obama, Polite Man

All due respect, Mr. President, but, holy mother of god, just shut up with this, will you?

I defer to nobody in my belief that Willard Romney is the single most politically maladroit national candidate in my lifetime. But, boy howdy, the current president of the United States is giving him a run for his offshore money these days:

"Well, two things. I mean, you know, the debate, I think it's fair to say I was just too polite, because, you know, it's hard to sometimes just keep on saying and what you're saying isn't true," Obama said on the Tom Joyner Morning Show on Wednesday. "It gets repetitive. But, you know, the good news is, is that's just the first one. Governor Romney put forward a whole bunch of stuff that either involved him running away from positions that he had taken, or doubling down on things like Medicare vouchers that are going to hurt him long term.... And, you know, I think it's fair to say that we will see a little more activity at the next one."

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All due respect, Mr. President, but everybody in the country knows that you shanked the first debate last week. (No, really, they do. Ask around.) The situation does not require that you personally reinforce that feeling, especially nearly a week after the fact. And I'm terribly sorry that you find it wearying to point out that obvious lies are, well, obvious lies, but, Jesus H. Christ with his own baby walrus, that's your job. This may not be the campaign in which you'd like to participate, what with all that nasty partisan politics and all, but it's the campaign you're in.

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Has it dawned on you yet that you're holding down two jobs at the moment? You are president of the United States and you are a political candidate for re-election. Each job has different requirements and different emotional imperatives. In your capacity as a political candidate, nobody cares whether or not you find pointing out that Willard Romney was lying about his tax plan, lying about his health-care plan, and lying about virtually everything you've done as president repetitive — and, as long as we're being frank here, what a prissy academic word that is to describe what should be a full-throated defense of your own record against a truthless and dangerous mountebank. Calling a liar out on all his lies should be energizing. It should get your blood up. It is one of the most important things you can do in your job as a political candidate.

In your job as a political candidate, you are not allowed to find things like Willard Romney's lying — and its unsightly offspring, his evolving positions on virtually every important issue of the day — too boring to be worthy of your time and effort. It is your job to turn this most ridiculous man and his ridiculous positions into the fuel for your campaign, the grist for your mill, the garbage for your flux capacitor. One thing you don't need right now is the lofty disdain of a man who's already president. Leave that stuff back in the Oval. You don't work there right now.