Just a couple of days ago, that green plastic puddle of sadness looked like this:

The biggest butt plug to hit Paris since Kanye…

That glorious giant ass cork (and CAPTION THIS star) by American artist Paul McCarthy was erected in Paris last week and he told reporters that he got the idea for the piece he calls the “Tree” while joking about how a butt plug kind of looks like a Christmas tree. It’s also a great commentary on how most of us get fucked during the holidays since we’re expected to buy presents for everyone. Some say that Paris is prettiest in the springtimes and I’ve never been to Paris, but I say that it’s prettiest this time of year thanks to that giant butt plug.

All of us butt plug aficionados who appreciate a piece of art that looks like the Jolly Green Giant’s favorite ass play toy loved it, but a group of butthurt bitches in Paris hated it from the beginning. They demanded that it be taken down. The International Contemporary Art Fair (FIAC), who brought the giant butt plug to Paris, refused, so the butt plug haters committed an illegal act against art, taste and ass toys by destroying it. They could’ve gotten rid of it by launching it into space so it’d get stuck in Xenu’s black hole, but they decided to deflate it instead. The police told the BBC, “An unidentified group of people cut the cables which were holding the artwork, which caused it to collapse.”

FIAC plans to restore the giant butt plug back to its glory. But for now, it looks like a sad pile of ass smegma, which strangely enough is what comes after a butt plug. Even in its deflated state, it’s still HIGH ART.

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