Yesterday I had a conversation with a close friend about our….specialness. For a long time I’ve been intrigued/annoyed by a series of quirks that haunt my dreaming/waking life.

You see- I have a gift. But this gift…it’s like the Christmas gift under the tree you’ve watched for weeks. You know the shape, size, weight and you mothereffing know what’s inside. Until Christmas morning when you shred the paper off like a teenage boy on prom night to find a thermal set of pj’s that you’d sworn was the cropped leather jacket you’ve been asking for for years.

My ESP is like that. It’s wrapped all pretty like the gift it should be but then you have a dream about a turkey on a fence that should be random only to find out it was foreshadowing a show you would watch mere hours later. And what does a turkey predict? Nothing…absolutely nothing. Which is why I’ve resigned myself to the fact that while absolute ESP would be amazing, I’m only being reassured with my quirks that I suppose I’m on the right path. I was supposed to watch that show this morning after dreaming about a really fat turkey on a pretty white fence.

A week ago I dreamed about Frankie driving a stick and all I did was watch his hand shift back and forth. The next morning, not remembering the dream at all, I made a quick switch of plans and walked to the bank first where I was almost run over by a stupid woman…driving a stick. And what was the first thing I noticed? The pattern in which she shifted which was the pattern in which HE shifted in my fake sleeping world. Lesson? I was suppose to go to the bank first.

A few years ago I dreamed that I was on a bus gone rogue. Frankie was with me and I was terrified. The speed in which this yellow box was accelerating brought certainty that we would not survive should anything happen. Looking out the window was like looking at a smeared painting. That’s when I see the fence ahead, I try to warn the driver but we bust through and there was the edge of a cement dock forming a cliff over a river. Sure enough, with jet power speed, we hurdle over the edge and plummet to our watery river death below. Hours later, awake and at work in midtown, people rush through our office shouting about a plane crashing into the river. Lesson? Absolutely nothing, how would I ever think a bus means a plane and that the plane will land in the river?

There were many more, some of employees that ended up being true, some of plane crashes that ended up happening- I’m talking years and years of weird dreams that mean nothing until the actual event it predicted….sort of. It could definitely all be coincidence, sure…but really, that often? Who knows.

Third….eye….blind? Eh?

You see my issues with this? I’m mean, obvi I’m special. OBVI. But can we not build on it so that I can be a superhero saving those less fortunate with my Twilight like future seeing? Instead of dreaming of a turkey on a bus driving stick shift with my employees who land in the Hudson on a plane.