Monday, April 12, 2010

I just wrapped up my time in Houston where I saw a couple more baseball games, another president and discovered that stunt-riding in shopping carts is the inevitable result of boredom in Houston after midnight.

So about these presidents. I saw President Obama on Monday in DC and then Bush Sr. in Houston on Friday AND Saturday. I think that this may be their new, but rather extreme, interpretation of the wiretapping law - just have a president follow you around.

It seems that George Sr. and Barbara Bush like to take in the occasional Astros game. They sit in the front row, right behind home plate. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this.

This is George seemingly trying to text something. In fact, when I first saw him take his phone out I was all "Awww, I wish I had my camera out." And then 5 minutes later, he's still staring at the phone and again I'm wishing I had fished my camera out the FIRST time I had the thought about the camera. And THEN ONE INNING LATER, I was all "geez, dude has no idea what he's doin'" and I took the picture.

The Bushes do, however, need to figure out how to leave with a little less fanfare. Friday was a long game. George and Bar made it through the end of the 6th inning but then waited for the game to START again before getting up to leave. When a former president and first lady get up and walk out, people tend to notice. In this case, people stood up to see what was going on and then started to applaud - while the batter was standing at the plate. The batter, of course, was not an American and doesn't really speak English all that well and seemed very confused by all of this. The next pitch - amid near hysterical applause for the Bushes - was popped up to center. Actually, come to think of it, I think the Bushes know exactly what they are doing and are secretly trying to fuck with the visiting team. They seem shady like that.

"Take note, kid. Real men don't use wimpy tissues."

I've posted about Minute Maid Park in Houston before. This is one of my favorite parks in MLB to visit. The beer vendors sell wine (which they pronounce "WHYNNE" and which always makes me want to buy one from them just because I like the way they say it), the food is not horrible and the whole place kinda smells like BBQ - which is never a bad thing. There is even a mac 'n cheese eating contest - if you are so inclined.

And just to prove that my drawing of the outfield bar is SCARY ACCURATE, I took pictures. So SUCK IT, you disbelievers. (Actually, there really weren't any disbelievers. I just added that for effect.)

View facing the bar

View if you were actually inclined to turn around

It's further proof that I really don't need a camera and could just draw pictures of everything on Paintbrush.

My only real complaint about Houston (correct me if I'm wrong here) is that there just is NOTHING open after 11:00. Nowhere to go. Nowhere to eat. The Boy and I got out of the ballpark around 10:30 on Friday and there was NOTHING open - except strip clubs. If the strip clubs had been serving steak, I would've been all over it. But they weren't, so I wasn't. Just sayin.

So after much wandering, we found a place to eat, had a drink or two (at least I did) and started to walk back to the hotel. So I ask you...it's late, the parking lot you are crossing is mostly deserted, and you see a lone shopping cart stationed temptingly in the the middle of nowhere....what would you do?

That looks like an uber-fun time. I'd be all about that mac and cheese eating contest. Do you think they use the real deal or that boxed Kraft stuff (or, heaven forbid, an off brand boxed mac and cheese)?

Yeah, and I'm pretty sure the Bushes were messing with the other team.

As a native and current Houstonian, I feel your pain about the lack of late night dining/entertainment. My only recommendation is House of Pies. The dinner food is whatever, but, as the name suggests, the pies are delish.

I am cracking the F up about George and Barbara! However, as soon as you mentioned Barbara was there, I thought "Wasn't that biatch just in the hospital?" I swear she was. Must have been a speedy recovery!

Why did you black your faces out in the pic, I really want to see "the boy!"