Hi, I come from an Islamic family, although I live in the United States. While my parents are dogmatic about Islam as the only true religion, I Very Much, disagree. They know this, and it has caused us to drift apart.

I love my parents, they mean the world to me and I would hate to hurt them. I don’t know how to plaster over this massive crack.

I don’t think Islam is right, but they seem to think I will adhere to Islamic philosophy and morality regardless; for the rest of my mortal life. For example, in Islam, it is stated that one cannot drink (alcohol). However, without my parent’s knowledge, I drink. In Islam one is also not allowed to have a boyfriend, sex outside of marriage, wear a tank top let alone shorts. They are not allowed to eat pork, hug a male friend or be gay.

Not following these regulations, along with many others, will lead to significant issues. My family has explicitly stated that I will no longer be their daughter or have any affiliation with them if I ever break these rules. They will no longer love me; they told me I would (excuse my language) become a Who*e.

Recently I got upset and told them that I would not behave in the way they want me to forever and that it is just a matter of time till I start being my person. This, of course, was the wrong thing to say since I’m still 19 and need their help. This has sent my mom into a private frenzy, and my dad into a foul mood.

Should I reject my nature, my values, and beliefs, to fulfill theirs and live an unnecessarily hard life as a result? Or should I follow the path I believe in, one I feel comfortable in, and live an unduly hard life as a result?

Sometimes I wish I had different parents, but then feel so guilty for entertaining these notions. My mother had sacrificed three years of her life for me when I got sick. How can I ask for someone else? How could I even think about it? But here I am, wishing I didn’t have to choose between what I believe is right and my parent’s love.

This is a tough situation you are in. Your parents are probably worried about what family and friends would say if you did your own thing.

I would say compromise. Be what they want you to be at home but when you go out do what you want. They can’t know where you go or what you do.

In a few years when you are say 25 they will have accepted that you are living your own life. Try not to rock the boat too much just yet otherwise you will feel guilty and they will make sure you feel bad. It will be emotional blackmail.

Live your own life, but make a few concessions for now. As time goes by I think they will mellow. You are still very young so don’t worry, it will all turn out OK in the end.

First, I would like to say that it is not wrong to think differently from your parents, sure it’s disappointing but it’s not wrong.

We are each our own person, no one person is exactly alike. After all we need these differences to make the world unique and most importantly so that we can learn from one another.

What can your parents teach you about yourself that could further your development, your advancement? What are your spiritual beliefs? Perhaps a compromise is needed as Shelley has stated, but what do you feel you need or should do?

I’m sorry to hear about your problem but you must be strong. Your parents will never understand because their religion is what they have believed in all their lives.

You will never get them to understand what you say so if I was you believe in what religion you want but don’t say anything to upset your parents because their religion can cause you to get upset. Your parents will believe they are right and you will never win.

Your life is yours, your body is yours, the happiness you should be searching for, should be yours. If you can make your family’s life happy without too much compromise, I would suggest that you do so.

So, if they want to see you with your head/hair covered in their presence, do so. Whatever it takes to make then happy and keep the peace.

But when you leave those premises, you are free to be whom you’d like. Even if that means having to leave your home with your cute blouse, high heels and blue jeans in a bag and change in a public bathroom.

Make two Facebook accounts, one very conservative for your parents and relatives and another with a shorten cutesy version of your name for all your friends and your party pics.

This is the dual-life you will need to live to make your parents happy until they die or are ready to accept that you have a right to be whom you really want to be, and are willing to accept you that way.

Bringing home a boyfriend outside of your race and religion, would obviously not be good. If you explain your situation, any guy would understand.