I want MS Bob on my phone. Potentially the best thing Microsoft has ever made.
And given the resurgence of records, Windows Phones might actually sell if they had a record player. Also, I would rock the sh*t out of that bottle opener.

I have always wanted some of these competition-killing features on my WP. Imagine the market share we would get from a $5 Windows BrickPhone! No more budget phone issues anymore. Even a dedicated bacon locator app free in the Nokia collection? Screw instagram, I want instantgram - you click print on a pic you take and it slides out of the bottom of the phone?