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Tuesday, 25 July 2017

The Agony of The Ugly Duckling

I loved The Ugly Duckling story as a
child. Today, I admire it on so many levels. Many people criticise it
as the ugly duckling has no part to play in its transformation. After
all, nature did everything; what did the poor bird do? Wait for the
usual course of nature. But that’s the whole point of the story,
isn’t it?

The ugly duckling never existed, not in
the real sense of the word. It was never a duckling; it was always a
swan. The only way a tiny swan would seem odd, clumsy, and
ill-favoured was trying to fit it into attributes of a duck. All its
variations made it unacceptable as a model duck. If the little bird
had been brought up as a swan, no one would’ve termed it ugly. The
little swans are supposed to look like that, act like that. The ugly
duckling had a horrible time, because everyone perceived it a duck.

The irony is that though the ugly
duckling doesn’t actually exist, it exists everywhere in the world
around us. It exists in our mind, and outlook. In fact, it is so much
imbibed in our DNA, that our society is full of ugly ducklings. But,
instead of blossoming into magnificent swans, they mature into
beautiful ducks.

No, that’s not a typo, I do mean ducks. How can a
swan transform into a swan? It stands to reason you can’t transform
into something you already are.

These ugly ducklings don’t ever
realise their true worth; they never find themselves. Instead they
begin the vigorous process of transformation with helpful inputs from
acclaimed experts in various fields. A swan transforming into a duck
requires immense hard work, and determination. It might seem
impossible, but it happens all the time. Transformation can take
place in any field—physical, emotional, professional—all you have
to do is find the right expert. Your ambition in life is to play a lead
role in duck tales? You can turn into a flawless duck. It doesn’t
matter whether you’re born a swan, hen, crow or an eagle. Why be
yourself when transformation can give you much more—fame,
popularity, success. After all, isn’t that what really matters?

When the transformation takes place in
the physical realm, it is termed as makeover. One of my close friends
underwent a rhinoplasty, or what is known as nose job, many months
prior to her wedding. And not because her fiance had any objection to
her nose.

I remember asking her, “Why? Why
would you do that to yourself? It’s a complicated surgery. It
doesn’t matter to your family, fiance or any one. Then why take a
risk?”

Her answer: “This is for me. You’ve
no idea how it feels to have a flat nose. Everyone made fun of me all
my life. I want to look beautiful for my wedding.”

Oh, but she was beautiful even without
the perfect nose. At least, I thought so; many of her other friends
thought the same. But, of course, it only matters what society
thinks. What if tomorrow everybody decides that flat nose is ideal?
Will everyone start doing a nose job to achieve it? I bet they will.

It’s not just about looks either.
This relates to every aspect of our life. There are guys afraid of
doing what they like if it is considered effeminate, girls
suppressing their nature to conform to society ideals. Many a
talented carpenters grow into doctors/engineers/bankers. After all,
the main purpose of career is social status, not doing what you like.

And imagine what would happen when
these new ducks chance upon a gorgeous swan after their painstaking
transformation. Most of them manage to contain their misery within
themselves, but few turn nasty. They can never forgive their
foolishness. They feel someone must pay for it, and someone—the
ugly duckling—does. When they are waddling with their perfect
group, and they come upon a confused little swan (or to be accurate,
an ugly duckling) still in the process of finding its place in the
world, these new beauties are the first to ridicule it. Their
reaction is worse when they see a group of ugly ducklings trying to
support each other. Why should they stand there, and let someone else
grow into a swan, when they were forced to become a duck, and more to
the point, when the swan seems more alluring?

Being an ugly duckling is a sad fate.
And it keeps getting worse. All the poor mites ever wanted was belonging to some world. So, once they transform into a duck it should be easy,
right? It isn’t. Deep within the lovely exterior facade lies an
ugly duckling, who knows it is not a real duckling. Yet it doesn’t
know that it’s a swan. It has no idea why it still feels lonely
when everything appears great. The pain is twofold. First, they
didn’t belong, and then (if they are unlucky) they belong to the
wrong fold.

So, if you feel like an ugly duckling,
and can’t find your place in the world yet, remember, you might not
be a duck; you maybe a swan or some other bird. Please don’t turn
into a duck. The hardest path for an ugly duckling is to grow into a
swan. Don’t say, nature does everything. Nature can be the cruelest
of all.

It is very difficult to believe in your
own beauty when the world denies it. Beauty, is after, all in the eye
of the beholder. And how can it exist when no one sees it? Our world
is not full of ugly people, but it is filled with ugly perceptions.

P.S. The Ugly Duckling is a fairy tale
written by the author Hans Christian Andersen. I have used the term to denote the impressionable kids (and youth), who are generally labeled as misfits, problem child, and so on, by the society who fails to understand them.

Totally agree with you.We must recognize our worth and feel proud and confident of what we are.Those who feel they are 'losers' or 'ugly ducklings' must remember that we can't please all the people all the time & not all nose-jobs or any such artificial transformations result into something everyone loves.