WHEN I first came to Spain I did what all the ‘nice’ foreigners do. I turned a blind eye to the lack of ‘quality’ work and total disregard for punctuality.

Actually, I was happy if workers turned up at all and simply accepted the ‘Andalucian Way of Work’. Who was I, a newcomer, to try and change the system? However, when I opened The Source Of Wellbeing it became quickly apparent that things needed to function if I wanted to be successful. As foreigners on holidays or a retreat have very little tolerance and patience for the ‘Andalusian Way’, I was faced with a real challenge. What had become ‘good enough’ for me was, for others, way off the scale.

I had to change my way of dealing with staff completely and set expectations and boundaries. Basically I had to apply my project management skills and leadership abilities.At first I was met with blank looks and a ‘what’s wrong with her’ attitude. But then a miracle happened. They changed their ways, almost without exception.

Along the way I realised a couple of things.
There are some people who never learned any different. So there was no way they ever would be able to live up to The Source’s high standards.
Others were just plain lazy and thought they could get away with it. They mostly shaped up or shipped out.
And then another set of people started to enter my life. People who shared my values and attitudes a towards quality and standards.

The moral of the story is the same as always. We can not change others but we can change ourselves. And if we change, the circumstances and people around us will change.

But we need to be very clear to what we want and what our own values and expectations are.
Only then do we become authentic leaders others will follow. Our own behavior, words and actions should reflect this and then others will relate to us on all levels.

What about you? Do you feel stuck with an issue or a person? Do you have clear expectations and values? Or do you say one thing but do another?

SINCE I started to appear in the Olive Press a few months ago I have had an incredible amount of people randomly bowling up at my front gates.

Mostly wanting to work with me in one form or another, they promise this and that and, it is fair to say, a lot of them are rather odd.
What I have noticed with this bizarre form of ‘jobseeker’ is that, generally, they do not take care of themselves.

I know you should never judge people by appearances, but it tells me immediately that they suffer a form of the ‘helper syndrome’. This is when somebody elects a ‘helper’ occupation, such as a therapist, counsellor or healer in order to fill in a gap in their lives.
This could be from the classic empty-nest syndrome when a child leaves home or from a complicated work-life situation they left behind in their home country, thinking a life in Spain would be so much easier.
However, what they have not understood is that happiness is a state of being and NOT doing. And as long as they adopt a ‘helper’ occupation in order to fill this gap in their lives, they will never succeed in their occupation.

At The Source Of Wellbeing I am looking for therapists who have found their inner source of wellbeing, exactly that, and radiate this state of being to our clients.
They need to act as role models when guiding our clients to achieve a balanced body, soul and spirit.

Our beauty therapist Jade is one such example and loves and breathes this state of being from the inside out.
When you are in her presence you feel immediately lifted and her heart is reaching out for you.
Tina, our yoga instructor is the same, making you feel at ease and content the second you step into her presence.

However, these types of professionals are sadly few and far between in southern Spain. And I’ve stopped counting how many times I have felt sheer exasperation after interviews.

But it would not be me if I could not see an opportunity in seemingly negative experiences.
To this end, I’m starting a weekly meeting for local women called ‘We First’ next month.

In these sessions, we will share stories of how we learned and found the courage to put ourselves first and how we found our own inner source of wellbeing.
Ultimately it means we can share this experience with our family and friends and, of course, give hope to other women who want to find more fulfilled lives.

In the “We First” sessions, we will share stories how we learned and found the courage to put ourselves first and how we found our own inner source of wellbeing, happiness and contentment.
Ultimately it means we can share this experience with our family and friends and, of course, give hope to other women who want to find more fulfilled lifes.