“They’re slaughtering everyone,”

1)“They’re slaughtering everyone,” the youngest guard said gloomily, “and we can’t get out. We’re doomed.”“Shut up and help me with this vat, will you? We need to use it and then pour it down the oubliette in a hurry. … #epic fantasy

3)WITHOUT leaving footprints.”
“What is it?”
“Paint. The stuff we repaint all the statues in the royal gardens with.”
“Klevrus, we’re going to DIE. Messily. This is hardly the time for…”#epic fantasy Klevrus shrugged, drew his sword, gutted the youngest guard, and shoved his body out the nearest castle window. It flattened some of the besiegers far below. Then he turned to the other guards. #epic fantasy

4)“Anyone less stupid want to help me?”“Sure,” said the oldest. “But we should lug the statues to the oubliette first. Once we’re naked and painted, we’ll be leaving prints everywhere. And I want THAT plinth for me.”#epic fantasy