subscribe

Pages

Friday, January 8, 2010

Friday, January 8, 2010

NOTE: Getteth thine kiddies hence! (Translation: today's post is not for the youngun's!)

These clowns seem pretty excited about their cupcakes.

No, I mean really excited.

No, no. I mean REALLY excited.

"Oh! Uh. Hi, guys. Heheh. So, what's up?

"What are we doing? Who - us? Uh...nothing? Yeah, nothing. Nothing at all. Sooo....yeah. Listen, can you close that door again on your way out? And turn the Jimmy Buffett CD back on? Thanks. Yeah. You, too. Ok, then. Bye!"

"So I says to her, 'hey, baby, don't let the tiny clown car fool you; it's not the way you throw the cream pie, it's the way you put the tutu on the dog!' And she was all, 'What?' and I was like, 'never mind.' Yeah."

And then, just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

Something like this comes along:

Whatever you do, DO NOT click on this picture to see it full size. Srsly. Don't do it.

[whistling]

Ok, now that you've clicked on the picture to see it full size - care to join me in a "I could've gone my whole life without seeing clown tinkle toys" scream? Groovy.

Note the blue icing in the last one. Clearly, these guys were bathing and minding their own business when some psycho wreckrator just burst in and started decorating cupcakes in their image. What I don't understand is why they posed for so long before kicking him out...

so how x-rated would it be to eat one of those things anyway? Would you have to be, uh, alone with it? Would you feel slightly ashamed? Would it ever call you after all was said and done for the date it promised you? These questions are going to fry my brain if I think about them too hard.

The last one shows equality... some of them have Va-jay-jay's until the the very first clown in the front row... I laughed so hard..I almost choaked on my Coffee.... Thank You for so many Laughs even whn I didnt feel like laughing.

Now this is a first, never did I expect to come on this site and find CLOWN PORN! This is truly a new low for Cake Wrecks... keep it up;)

These are beyond tragic (what's with the compulsion to sprawl clowns across baked goods?) and those cupcakes? Pink buttons huh? uh huh yeah ok:-P

PS for anyone who actually might be offended by today's blog, well ya'll need to get hooked on phonics. Go back and read the first line of the page VERY SLOWLY, it's ok I'll wait... feel silly dontcha? Off with ya now!

This post earns the biggest WTF ever. Who would make these or buy these? Especially those last ones. I think the last clowns were made by people who were trying to get away with something, like hidden items in The Little Mermaid cover art.

I really should stop reading your blog at work. I normally try to stick with silent laughter, but today I couldn't help myself.. and the loud guffaws coming from my desk area does not help the illusion I'm trying to create of being a normal, relatively sane, capable secretary.

You have spoiled a pure mind! *Shifting eyes upwards and raising a finger to my lips, shhh!* I didn't see how the last one could be considered clown porn until I read the rest of your post... I just thought, thet were horribly, hilariously put together cupcakes that were supposed to look like clowns... Oh ok, so thats a lie, I first thought the feet looked like grandma had spent a little toom much time outside and now her nips were turning blue, but can you blame me? Two big blobs with blue spots in the middle? Come, even a child could spot that!

I thought those bits on the last clowns were supposed to be their hands, just like their feet were litte swipes of icing. If they really are supposed to be buttons, then I think it is more disturbing that they are a bunch of armless clowns. No offence intended to people without arms.

That last set of clown must have come from a pedophilia's dream bakery. How wrong- how very, very wrong! Aren't there supervisors who walk around checking on their staff's work with comments or a trash can ready?

WHY would they use flesh colored icing? WHY?? that's not an easy color to make, unless they WANTED to make the clowns nekkid. sure they're buttons....especially on that one on the far RIGHT in the picture....It's like a nudist clown colony whack-off party.

what's the concept of clowns sprawled over cupcakes anyway (face up OR face down?)

Bojangles #2 looks like he's at a Mardi-Gras party.

wv: monalmog--apparently what a group of clowns sound like when they "come" together....

At first they looked disturbingly like armless naked clowns (right, Stumpy?) until I noticed a pattern...the icing has a seam in it that makes it look like a right arm, with the "hand" hidden in the vicinity of the "buttons" (aka as tinkle toys!)

Bwahahaha!!! That last photo has the clowns all lined up, like the clown car has stopped at the X-rated movie theater and they all went in together. I guess it's going to be tough for the police to identify them now!

I know I shouldn't be surprised by anything I see on here anymore, but SERIOUSLY?!?! How can those people try to put those cakes/CCC's (ptooie) out and not see the problems? It's one thing to misspell words and make general ugliness, but this is seriously GROSS!! And clowns are supposed to be for kids, so it's even worse! Arrrrgh! The madness of some people!

OMG that was way too funny, and yeah like I would NOT click on the picture after that, LOL ; ) I can not believe all of those, no wonder I don't like clowns they are just ummm freaky yeah there is the right word....

That's the second time in two days I looked at something and went "Oh, that's a penis." (For the record, I was watching deleted scenes of Love Actually" and one of the Christmas Nudie Artworks was four full frontal naked guys) I don't know why I shared that with strangers or felt the need to justify myself for strangers, but there you have it.

You have to wonder about these bakeries, don't ya? I mean, we get a warning to get our kids out of the room here on Cake Wrecks, but do the bakeries that created these atrocities post such warnings? What kind of questions would we face from our children after simply taking them to choose their birthday cake? I shudder to think!

Oh, MY! I have never laughed SO hard at one of your posts in my life! (And that is saying something, I assure you!)Also, I completely agree with anon at 10:21:"I second the Tinkle Toys moniker, but I pray that it never has to be used ever again. That was beyond disturbing!"

Do you ever wonder if the "decorators" actually make these mistakes on purpose? Who in their right mind would BUY these cupcakes unless it was a special order? I can just see it now........Oh, Martha those poor clown cupcakes didn't sell, so I now have free cupcakes for a week!

ROFL!the last one... omg. In addition to the obvious, it also looks like they are naked and squatting on the cupcake. I do not want to eat that. If it's chocolate cake, I DEFINITELY do not want to eat that.

THAT was the most hilarious post EVER! OH MY GOD....Your dialogue on the one BEFORE the porno ding-a-ling clowns was PRICELESS!!!! I am going to find a way to fit that into something I say in my day. I am.

Buttons my buttocks - that's an employee who's sniffed just a bit too much icing sugar having a laugh. And if you need your own Tinkle Toy, they come in twin packs and I can get you one at our local supermarket ;)

While I can easily imagine most of these to be happy and delightful Dead Clown Cakes, in the last one I can't get over the huge muscles and the fact that all the clowns appear to have their hands tied behind their backs.

I've been a long time reader, but have never posted. I recently spent several months in the hospital with no internet access. I missed Wreaks! I passed the site addy around to all the nurses and so many told me they laughed til they cried.

I'm home now and as soon as I could get online I read back through all the months I've missed.These clowns caused me to spray the monitor with a mouthful of pepsi! I'm still in tears!

Thank you for all your hard work. I can't wait to see more....um....or less maybe thinking of those clowns,,,,,

Um…buttons? Who decided to say those tinkle toys are buttons and did they think we are really that gullible that we would think those clowns were NAKED! Hmmm…maybe it was for a party at a nudist colony. Yea, let’s go with that….

And at no point the wreckerator didn’t realize there were one too many appendages on the clown cake!? I mean she added orange dots to the hands and feet when she got to the tinkle toy did she just say “hmmmm maybe nobody will notice”.

What the heck! How were those last cupcakes even allowed to be sold? There's only one store where those cupcakes MIGHT be appropriate, and even then they're very, VERY disturbing. I can never unsee what I've just seen.

Mwaaaahhhhhh...gasp for air...more hysterical laughter ala Peanuts cartoon...gasp, gasp. Ok you have TOTALLY made my Friday!!!!!! Return to hysterical laughter and repeated viewings of this post like it's the last chocolate on a desert island.

No, they should go to CLOWN jail-- think how creepy and crowded (like 100 to a cell?)that would be. And how clowns would get after they've been in prison awhile... In fact, I think maybe that's the kind of clowns we're seeing depicted here today. Clown jail-type clowns-- the worst kind of all!

Oh.My.Gosh! I'm so glad you clarified the "buttons" thing, b/c I never would have guessed that's what they're supposed to be. I thought perhaps maybe they were custom cupcakes for a very weird bachelorette party. You have to think to yourself: a) what store would actually sell those, b) what kind of person would actually BUY them!?

OMG! It just kept getting worse! And I had to laugh in silence, my sides splitting, so my kids wouldn't come see what the halla-baloo was all about..*too*, *too* funny!! Who approves things like that to go on the shelves?! Love it!

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.