my dad passed a year ago today

its so hard thinking back about my dad being in the hospital but after my dads passing thats all i thought about, and now my focus is centered on those few weeks he ws in the hospital dying. His cancer mastisied and ate away his hip, he was in so much pain, my poor daddy, its horrible what cancer can do, i loved him so much and i hated seeing him suffer and knew that he couldnt live, and i wanted my dad to do anything he had to do to get out of pain, including dying.
but boy do i miss him, each day i guess you move forward, you dont want to, you want everything to stay the same so just in case he comes back he can just slip back into his old life. i have so many things to be grateful for, my husband has today off from work, i have dear friends coming over. i really wish my mom didnt turn cold and ws here today too, instead of off with her new boyfriend who doesnt like her only family, but i love her unconditionally.