I am having a hard time holding it together. I had second degree tearing and have stitches that I have to clean and (tmi) pooping hurts so much I need to take a Tylenol afterwards. I am worried about BF every time he latches on it hurts so bad I need to grit my teeth so I don’t cry and everything I read says that if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong. Today all he wanted to do was eat and I’m worried I don’t have enough to feed him. Our apartment is a total mess, DH and I have both been eating like crap, I need to do laundry, and it’s all so overwhelming. We are eating off paper plates, which might not seem like a big deal to some people, but I grew up thinking you only used paper plates and cups at barbeques or birthday parties. Even something easy like doing laundry isn’t easy we live in an apt with coin laundry so when I do it, I need to figure out how to get the Moby on which usually takes a few tries, then put DS in, walk down a flight of stairs with the laundry (which still hurts a bit), then come back up, go back down in half an hour to put it in the dryer, then a third time to bring it back up. And I can only carry one basket at a time, so if I have more than one load to do I need to repeat it all again. I did laundry on Friday and was so tired afterwards that I cried. I will be going back to work in January and I can’t have any setbacks with healing since I have a fairly physical job (dance teacher) but I am worried if I wear myself out now I won’t recover properly.