27.4.10

Go read this. This is my life. Suspended animation & dealing with stuff out of my control. I'm composing an open letter that should clear up some of the drama bullshit that has been surrounding me since October. Now that Jay has admitted to his slander campaign I feel free to expose all of it - sunlight being such a great disinfectant. I hate being treated like I'm an angry ball of rage trying to hurt people. I find it amazingly freeing how people accept & encourage his choices & behavior. The excuses made for his actions. Just like any other smoke & mirror show - he's done it before & will do it again. Why? - because it works. Yet I am in the wrong because I am not letting it go & treating him like someone who won't turn on me & hurt myself & others in calculated moves to insulate himself. Or manipulate situations to his desires/designs or just advantages. I don't see the point in not talking about it. Other than that it makes things utterly disingenuous & superficial. I've never been comfy living that way.