Day 28 Fears, Phobias and Change: Real Life Frights

My Way

Yesterday I went to a family members funeral. The service was very nice embracing the life that was lived but I couldn't help but think how will I be remembered??? Who will tell my life story? How will they tell it? This kind of upset me making me feel like I have no control. So I've decided I will tell my story by pre-planning my memorial service.

I once thought this was morbid. Years ago, my Grandmother videotaped herself singing a few of her favorite songs to play at her funeral. I thought it was very much my Grandmother and loved that she wanted to sing at her own funeral but I didn't really understand why, until her funeral. It was beautiful to watch her sing and it brought life to her funeral. It felt like she was with us, I liked that, a LOT! I think it's amazing that she decided to give this great gift to her loved ones. She wanted others to remember her her way.

For my funeral, I want to be remembered my way, too. Again, this may sound morbid and might make my loved ones feel uncomfortable. But it makes me squirm to think that my service may be a chapel full of my loved ones, quietly crying as a stranger speaks to a crowd as if we were long life friends. Not for me. I want color, music, loud crying and even louder laughing!!! I want wild stories told of how I LIVED life and how I LOVED!!! I want the good told, the bad told, the trials I overcame in life, I want it ALL told! I think I might even want a small parade!! (too much?)

I know it may be hard for my loved ones to speak so if this means I have to create my own video (like my gma) then so be it. I want to choose the music, the venue, how I want to be buried (if at all), what poems are read and more. It actually brings joy to me to think that planning my own funeral could take the pressure off my family and that I will be telling my life story MY way. The thought brings me empowerment and gets me excited to know how I will make my grand exit!! Again, we can't control a lot of aspects of death but we can control how were are remembered in life.

Thoughts? Are you pre-planning? Does this freak you out??? Tell me about it, I'd enjoy hearing your thoughts.

Here's a helpful website with a checklist for pre-planning your own funeral or memorial service.

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