Golly, what should I wish for? I’m perfect. The cake is perfect. My life is perfect. Hmmm.

Back in the day, I used to be called a perfectionist.

That was a label I could embrace; it sounded so, well, perfect.

Who wouldn’t want to be a perfectionist? Doesn’t it sound so, help me out here, People…perfect?

But somewhere along the way, the medical-industrial complex got their grimy gloves on just about every facet of human quirkdomery and turned my tidy perfectionism into something dreadfully scary and unpleasant sounding: obsessive compulsive disorder. Of course, it has an acronym (what self-destructive psychological condition worth its medication would be without an acronym?): OCD.*

So, the former perfectionist is now an OCDer.

Hey, wait a minute! What changed? I’m still the same little sweetheart but now the rules have changed. No fair!

All those behaviors that used to bring praise and appreciation from my mom, teachers, and adults who needed to keep hoards of young people in check are now evidence of my need for therapy, medication, or ridicule.

Oh yeah, you heard me. Ridicule. All those imperfectionists out there are having a high old time, flaunting their slap-happy, good-enough-or-not-at-all, half-baked approaches to important life issues and telling me I should relax a little.

Well, my OCDisms are practical and could come in real handy in an emergency.

Perhaps some examples will convince you.

Half = empty

This translates into me having to make sure everything I own that can be full is full. I have to make sure that the batteries on my iGadgets are never below 80% charged. My gas tank must be full for me to feel comfortable. The closer it gets to half, the edgier I get. Even my Brita water filter needs to be full. I’m constantly topping that sucker off.

Panic time!

This all may sound silly, but if there is ever a power outage, my phone, computer, water filter, and car will be ready for the long haul–although I may turn everything off to conserve the full battery status, not drive, and hide the water filter jug. Being without power is bad enough, People. Watching the life drain from my gadgets would unduly stress me.

Straight lines and symmetry

Whether it’s hanging pictures or quilts on the wall or making the bed (which, by the way, must be done every day without fail in case someone stumbles into my bedroom and can report that I am not a slob), balance is paramount. Pillows must be placed so they are equidistance from the edges of the bed. The quilt on the bed must be lined up so that it hangs perfectly straight and is balanced (same distance from the floor on each side of the bed). Rugs must be lined up to be parallel with the walls or the lines on the wood/tile floor.

This is serious business. Imagine if you enter a space where everything is cockeyed. You might think something is wrong with you…or that there has just been an earthquake. Imagine the distress you could unnecessarily cause by having crooked or asymmetrical furnishings.

See what I mean? Quite unnerving.

Clutter Cutter

There are probably some OCDers who collect all manner of things.

I’m not one of them. I’m the opposite. I abhor clutter. Think minimalist.

There is a place for everything and it’s usually not in my home. If it has to be in my home, please let it be neatly placed in a labeled box in a closet.

If you need to find something in my home, I know where it is. I know if I have it and can put my hands on it within a few minutes. Okay, so I maybe throw away some things that I don’t think are useful that, say, a man I’m living with might think is very important. Is that a reason to suggest therapy and medication?

Cozy, huh?

That’s it. Not so bad, right?

Oh, all right. I am unnaturally concerned with Fozzie’s bowel movements (that he hs them and their quality) and the toilet paper simply must be put on the holder so that the sheets are facing down when you reach for them. Work with gravity, People, not against it!

How could you make the bear poopie effect if the roll went the other way. Case closed!

Oh, and I pride myself on my beautiful penmanship–something that those credit card signing machines make very hard to do.

But, because I’m Buddhist and should be better at letting things go, I really should try to de-OCD-ify myself. Of course, because I’m a Buddhist, I should not be placing expectations on myself (or shoulding on myself), but everyone knows being a Buddhist isn’t as easy as it looks.

I simply don’t have room in my house to meditate like this. Does this make me a bad Buddhist or just one not into soup?

Which OCD issue do you think I should start with? And what techniques should I use to de-OCD-ify myself?

I’m sure you know the feeling. Paddling to beat the band and getting nowhere…fast. A little help is all I need.

*I realize that many people suffer with OCD (2.2 million Americans). This post in no way belittles or negates their real condition and the debilitating effects it has on theirs lives and the lives of those they love. For more information, click here.

I used to be a perfectionist too! I was so bad that my daughter’s toys were carefully separated. Barbie’s were ALWAYS dressed. Toy dishes could not be mixed with little toy dolls. Everything had a place. Here I am, 7 kids later, and some of those kids are so OCD that if we just can make our way through the house I take that as a WIN!!

First, I want to say that I love this blog! Secondly, you sound just like my husband. He is OCD. I felt the same way in my first marriage about the gas tank being half full. My ex-husband had me scared to death to go out whatsoever. My husband (that I have now) does not collect things. He says less is better.
Have a super wonderful day! 🙂

You make some great points here – it’s the people who DON’T strive for perfection who have a problem with perfectionists, yes? My guy is a perfectionist, and I admit, in the beginning of our relationship (let’s say, the first 7 years or so) it annoyed me at times. But then I realized, as you point out here, I’ll never run out of gas (never under half full tank) or have the lights turned off (bills always paid days in advance), or have an unmade bed (sheets tight and cornered). No mess to trip over, and if company ‘pops’ in, the place is always in tiptop shape. I’ve learned to love his OCD personality, and I applaud it.
As long as he doesn’t expect the same from me!!!!

Thanks, Peter. You know, a while ago I tried to let the water filter thing go–just not fill it up every time it got used. I lasted maybe 12 hours. No filled the darned thing up and it got empty. Not only do I have OCD, I’m a water jug filler enabler! 😉

Hey, V, that was very good information and it makes perfect sense. I drive a Prius so I’m all about the gas mileage (another thing I obsess​ over). I think your little tidbit will help me not be so fanatical​ about keeping it topped off. Or maybe I should say, “I hope” it will. I did find out that keeping the water filter full is helpful because a moist filter is more efficient than one always being allowed to dry out, so that just feeds the madness! 😉

Nothing wrong with giving it your best, wish I had (a bit) more of that. Good luck!

milamhJan 07, 2016 @ 06:31:11

Society judges everything that is different. I wish I was a little bit more OCD, and I don’t see a problem with keeping your gas tank and your Brita filter full! ha. Look, as long as you are happy and you are not hurting anybody, nobody else should judge.

I have elements of this, but I used to be a lot worse, like going back to recheck several times that something was switched off. And it used to surface at inappropriate times, like if I was running late and really needed to leave the house, then I’d suddenly feel it was essential to run around the house checking everything was parallel in every room, and nothing was going over the edge of a table or desk, like I was subconsciously trying to sabotage myself! Now it only tends to surface if I’m generally a bit stressed about something. It’s never been debilitating though.

But if you want to tackle it then you need to find a reason for not doing something that is more important than the reason for doing it. So for instance, did you know that it’s actually more expensive to drive a car around with a full tank of gas because of the extra weight of the fuel you’re carrying? You use up more fuel when you’re carrying more fuel! So you save money if your tank is less full. What does that fact do for you?

If your perfectionism (ok, OCD) isn’t interfering with your day to day life then I don’t think you need to change anything. Are you standing by the Britta with a ruler, checking it endlessly to see if you need to “top it off?” Do you stay home and not drive your car for fear of using up a few tablespoons of gas? In that case, you may need some outside help. Sorry about that. But as far as the phone goes, just keep it plugged in all of the time and you’ll never have to worry about not having enough “juice.” xoxo

Nothing wrong with being diligent and tidy. We all have our “ways.” I was annoyed when Husby took the wrong combination of bath towel-hand towel-washcloth to his bathroom one day. Yes, they are in the closet in a particular order according to color and use. He always lets me put the towels in his bathroom now, on Sunday, which is the only day towels should be switched out of bathrooms. (Most OCDers would argue that towels should be changed more than once a week, I know.) Keep that Brita pitcher and gas tank full – I’m rooting for you!

I’m working with a business coach and today she said she suspected I might be a perfectionist. Um, yes. Maybe I tipped her off when I said I refused to hire someone to help me because they won’t do the job perfectly. Point being, I share your struggle! These aren’t easy thing to change but it helps knowing others understand.

Loved your post. My daughter has OCD and it is really tough for her. It can be very debilitating at times. Just take on symptom at a time and deal with it is my best advice and medication, lots of it. 🙂

Ruth AnnJan 05, 2016 @ 07:49:32

Gets me, not mr. If only I could type!

Ruth AnnJan 05, 2016 @ 07:48:07

Neat and tidy is good. My husband wishes I had a little more perfectionism but I am comforted by my stacks. In a sense, we share the same challenges from opposite ends. Oh, and by the way, I love your word, quirkdomery! Gets mr right here ❤️

Good luck with this, Lorna, I know you are up to it. I feel fortunate to not have this affliction. By the way, did you notice that a couple of your sentences didn’t go all the way to the page margin before you started another one on the next line. Maybe re-post this with corrections? Just a thought.

Ok, Its a ridiculous suggestion no doubt, but the only one I can think of. Let one thing go. Do not make your bed one day or charge the battery all the time. Try only one thing and see if you can acclimatise yourself to a less than perfect world. You never know, anything is possible with luck or hard work, and, as always, I wish you all the luck in the world. x

I recommend that you box up, say 30% of your OCD-ness and ship it to me. I am the opposite of OCD — probably DCO. Reallly, I could use a little more OCD in my life. I wonder if it is like buying a vowel …

Seriously, I am not a neat-nick. And while “slob” is usually an overstatement, there are days …

It’s a shame that we have to make disclaimers these days, because humor about ourselves and/or situations in life can actually help some.

Anyhoo, I was right there with you, nodding, doing all the same things, except I don’t have a Britta. You had me up to making the bed every day without fail.Then, you lost me at the lining up with wood floor lines. Heh. As long as the spread is flattened neatly, I’m good.

I can’t even cure myself of my own idiosyncrasies, let alone give you advice. I know you’ll keep up the good sense of humor, and like I said, that helps lighten the load.

Good grief but we are alike…right down to the way the TP is hanging. The only difference is I am not Buddhist, though I love so many aspects of Buddhism. I will watch for suggestions. It’s good to be able to own and laugh about our “issues.” When you went for job interviews, did you give perfectionism as your biggest weakness? I did and it put me on the fast track. Ha!