Stop Telling Me How To Do My Job

I'm in a bad situation at work and I don't see any way to get out of it. I started a new job in January. I am well-established here now. My boss "Margaret" loves my work. I bring a completely new skill set to the company. The company needed my skills and Margaret was looking for someone like me, so it's a great match. I'm having fun.

My only problem is that my co-workers do not understand what I do and they are full of advice for me. They give me constant advice whether I want it or not (I don't). Some of them are nice about it. They're trying to be helpful.

I haven't figured out a polite way to say "No, that advice doesn't really apply, because it has nothing to do with the way we are performing this function now." They are miles behind the curve for best practices and they want me to do things the "old" way.

Some of my co-workers are not so nice. They pull me aside and say "You can't do it that way!" I hate to say "Margaret approved it" because I know that leaning on your supervisor is a weenie thing to do. I just don't know what to say. I've tried "Well, we're shifting the way we do that because this approach is the current one that up-to-date companies use and it's very effective" but I don't want to get into conflict with anyone.

I don't want to appear like I'm talking down to them. I also don't want to tell Margaret "My co-workers are giving me a hard time" because I'm a grown man and I don't want to have to ask for my boss's help getting my colleagues to accept that things are changing here and to let me do my job my own way.

What do you recommend?

Thanks Liz!

Bogdan

Dear Bogdan,

You are approaching the issue of meddling co-workers from a low altitude, wondering "How do I get these people to stop giving me unsolicited advice?" That is an understandable reaction.

If you have never worked in a place where your ideas and contributions bucked the status quo before, you could be overwhelmed with your co-workers' reactions and uncertain of how to bring them around to your side of the table.

Here's how you will do that. You'll suggest to Margaret that you lead a short, very friendly status-update discussion at an upcoming staff meeting or a team lunch. You'll do this at Margaret's request so no one on your team can say that you're shoving your expertise down their throats.

Margaret will say to the group "I've asked Bogdan to walk us through his strategy because this is new stuff for me and I'm sure it's new to some of you, as well." You'll walk through your presentation, making everything you're doing and planning to do as simple and palatable as you can.

You'll take care to note how the past successes of the group made your next-generation innovations possible.

Throughout your short presentation you'll praise and thank your teammates for their incredible support, whether you have felt that their support was incredible, or not! Keep in mind that your teammates who give you unwelcome advice are only trying to be helpful or to have influence on the process, two things that most of us try to do.

You're going to invite your whole team to join in with you on your company's new adventures. You're going to thank them individually and collectively for their great ideas. You're going to make them part of the win, something every manager and every change-bringer must do in order to replace fearful energy with the essential Team Mojo your team needs to prevail!

You are getting altitude on your role as well as your short-term obstacle. You're going to answer questions about your new approach, but not get into arguments about whether or not your approach is well-advised. If someone says "I don't understand why we need to do all this new stuff -- what we did before was working fine" while you're presenting, you won't defend your plan.

You'll smile and be silent and give the group a few seconds to jump in, and if no one does (including Margaret) you'll say "That's a great thought, Sam" and you'll continue with your presentation. Your teammates are experiencing changes to their own roles and their knowledge because of your arrival. You're having influence. That's a good thing!

Be sure to spread the good feelings around and never to debate your teammates about the merits of your new ideas. That isn't your job. Your job is to spread your great ideas around like Johnny Appleseeds' apple seeds -- planting new ideas in your teammates' minds and inviting them to grow along with you!