Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Psalm 12

Well, I guess I can't put it off any longer. I have been trying to figure out Psalm 12 now for a couple weeks and I just can't figure out how it relates to me. I just can't seem to find the right perspective with which to read it. You see, the psalm deals with unfaithfulness and disloyalty, deception and boasting. Things that don't seem to be relevant to my life at the moment.

So, I'm going to resort to a previous strategy and break the psalm down into broad sections:

David requests help from God (verses 1-4).

David quotes God as saying he will protect the weak and needy. Then, he asserts that the words of the Lord are "flawless," meaning that if God said it, it must be true (verses 5-6).

David's prayer of confidence to God. He states that God will be true to his word (verses 7-8).

Breaking the psalm down in this way helps me to generalize the meaning. I may not be able to relate to unfaithfulness and deception, but I can relate to feeling the need to make requests of God. My requests are just different. I'm asking for relief, stamina, refuge.

I really like that David goes straight from his request to quoting God. And then, straight to saying that God's word is flawless and pure. I think this is something I need to remind myself of. A lot of times when I feel like my requests are unheard, my brain automatically quotes a familiar scripture about God's faithfulness and I cringe because, at the time, it doesn't ring true. Then, I move on to the next thought. I can't remember the last time I actually reminded myself that I can trust scripture and have fought back against my instinct to bristle at the "churchy" answers.

That last insight may seem odd to you, or maybe even off-putting. But, because of my perceived lack of refuge, I am having to fight to trust God. I know that he has never been untrustworthy, but I have to constantly remind myself of that and even create arguments to prove to myself that God has indeed been faithful.

Now that I've been honest about that, I'm going to challenge you. If you have ever felt that way, please leave a comment letting me know if you found successful ways to re-trust in God. Your support will be appreciated immensely. If you can't relate to what I'm saying, please ask questions. I'm serious. Every single person who has asked me questions about the blog has helped me to reflect and make another tiny step toward complete faith. So, thanks again to anyone who has pushed me to think more about my journey.

1 comment:

I have found myself in the same state of mind many times over my life time. There were times I knew I loved him, but there was something missing. I questioned myself over and over about it. I doubted him and even his very existence. However, I have been able to rely on God's word and through prayer, study, listening to God and talking with others; I was able to turn toward God.