Sunday, 20 June 2010

We thought of you with love today,But that is nothing new.We thought about you yesterday.And days before that too.We think of you in silence.We often speak your name.Now all we have is memories.And your picture in a frame.Your memory is our keepsake.With which we’ll never part.God has you in his keeping.We have you in our heart.

Happy Fathers day Dad, I just wish that you were here to see the woman I've become. I love you dad.

Friday, 18 June 2010

Just writing a quick post for now. I'm currently on CD162 and counting, I'm going insane and I'm getting pissed off, I know the whole 'lose weight and it will come talk' but that's not quite the point. This is getting seriously unfair now. My last cycle was 69 days and this one has gone double that. Because of my evil old doctor I have ZERO chance of getting any help with this problem.

According to her, women who go on the contraceptive implant or other forms don't have periods, so apparently it's ok that I don't. Unless I'm missing something (which I'm not), I'm on NO form of bc WHATSOEVER. So her theory doesn't really apply to me does it ? No. So that's why I'm stuck with the waiting game of just waiting for it to 'pop up'

I apologise for my craziness but I think I have every right to be angry and pissed off.

Cara x

I've got a couple of scheduled posts coming, but I'll start writing some more tomorrow.

Friday, 11 June 2010

Now I'm at a different gym I've got a brand new programme which i'm gonna tell you all about now :)

I do 2.4 miles of cycling.I do 1.2 miles of walking on the treadmill in 20mins so I walk REALLY fast !I then do 10 minutes on the cross trainer on the fat burn workout programme.That's it for cardio but that's pretty good.

Monday, 7 June 2010

I havent really been in the best of moods for a couple of days, things have been getting me so angry so quickly. I get like this every so often so dont panic, im not manic depressive or anything..

a few things have been playing on my mind lately, and im sick of not being able to say what i think because i might upset people, i understand if i say something and someone deosnt agree, thats how the world goes round so im not gonna do it anymore, if people dont like what i say then thats ok,im not trying to force people to believe in my opinions.

first off, i was having a conversation on twitter with courtney, who sadly lost her 3rd son a week ago, and we brought up the 'God' convo. now im full warning you, im not a believer in God, so you may find my opinions insulting, i understand so stop reading if you want to.

i personally dont see how God can exist. for instance, Courtney has lost her 3 beautiful little boys, i dont see how if God was real he would let that happen. people say we are being punished, but that is no way to punish somone at all. We see so much joy in this world. birth,love,family friends. But we also see far to much sadness, if God was real, then where was he for Courtney ? Where was he when my dad got cancer ? where was he when my mum got severely ill after 11 months of looking after my dying dad. ? Where was God when i needed him most ?

He wasnt there.

People like Courtney and me, carry on because we have hope, not hope given to us my 'God' but the hope that drives us forward and keeps going through the good and the bad.

Hope wont bring me dad back, hope wont make my mum better. but hope gives me something to acheive and strive for, and that is something that no pretend God can give me.

*Again, i apologise if my opinions arent to your taste, and i hope that you werent offended by my post.*