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Tag Archives: Motherhood

Before I had kids I thought I was prepared for the unexpected. I had been a full time nanny, my career was in childcare, I looked after numerous babies, my friends had kids, I read the equivalent of a small library when it came to parenting books, I had a beautiful nursery and I figured it was no news to me that kids say the darndest thing. I thought I was prepared for motherhood when I left my house a pregnant mess of contractions.

Fast forward through the sleepless nights, teething, nursing issues, growth spurts, sleep regressions and first year milestones of a baby. Gone are the rock eating, drooling, clumbsy, gibberish speaking stages of toddlers. Enter the crazy stages of a preschooler. I was not prepared nor did I anticipate the awkward scenarios in which my son would place me in, all because of his budding sense of curiosity in the world around him. I myself love his inquisitive mind but others may not see it that way when put in these situations. So here is my open apology to those who have witnessed these moments…. Continue reading →

I have spent many years around young children and if there is one thing I have learned about boys…. they will be boys. Full of life, full of adventure, but more than anything, full of energy. As an almost full time stay at home mom I have gladly taken on the responsibility of keeping my house tidy, paying the bills and making sure everything runs smoothly at home, but there is one thing I have always made plenty of time for. Giving my son Continue reading →

Recently I’ve had to ask myself some difficult questions. I love my son with my entire being, but “Do I love the lifestyle of motherhood?” I always assumed these two concepts were connected. If you loved your child than you had to love being a parent. But assuming you love parenthood just because you love your child is about as relative as assuming you love scrubbing toilets because you love a clean house. I love being a mom, yet there are so many days where I mentally indulge in the fantasy of a child free past. A week spent entirely by myself making decisions selfishly for my own satisfaction. I want to wake up when my eyes leisurely open in a quiet house, not when my retina is being threatened by tiny fingers. I want to make breakfast for myself without meticulously cutting 8 different food groups into 1/4 inch pieces to avoid doing the Heimlich before 9 am. I want to plan my day around lattes with girlfriends and serene hiking trails, not sippy cup malfunctions and parks filled with screaming toddlers. I want my evening to be filled with quiet walks and random pub nights with friends, not highchair cleanups and perfectly scheduled bedtimes. I want to layout a future of possible travelling adventures, not calculated future pregnancies and breastfeeding timelines. Is it so bad to still desire parts of my old lifestyle? But how does a mom navigate between longing for something without feeling guilty for wanting more than the gift of motherhood? And yes…..I know that I can still do all of these things as a parent, just not as often and it requires more planning. A very easy solution. However I thrive in spontaneity and whimsical plans, and sometimes feel as though my soul shrivels in a lifestyle of predictability and routine. The very same attributes that are so beneficial to raising children… how ironic.

I thought it was time that I opened up a little and shared something a little more personal than a recipe or diy craft. With the sunshine far above the clouds and the cold weather making it so much more tempting to curl up inside, I’m left feeling a little blah lately. Not necessarily down and not necessarily up. The normal ebbs and flows of life and motherhood I guess but none the less, I just haven’t felt my usual energetic self lately. I still work out 4 times a week and do an amazing restorative yoga practice but my energy levels feel zapped. I am getting better and better at calming my mind but I still feel blah. I think it’s a combination of holiday anticipation, cold weather, lack of sunshine, nursing hormones, being back at work, chasing after a busy lil boy and just feeling run down. But I accept it for what it is knowing that this too shall pass. Heck it better pass… it’s my birthday in 9 days!

This post isn’t meant to get pity, or sympathy…. because really I’m happy and doing fine… I just feel like there are so many artificial representations of people’s lives through social media that it’s nice to feel normal sometimes. Continue reading →

I’m officially in the homestretch of my pregnancy. With only 11 days to go until my due date, the idea that he one could arrive at any moment has me feeling somewhere between anxious and extremely excited!! After carrying this squirmy lil baby for over nine months I am more than ready to meet him and finally hold him.