Monday, September 24, 2012

WE WERE supposed to see Niburu by now. Streaking around the Southern Hemisphere of our own Sun, coming in to raze our homes, tilting the axis of the Earth anywhere from 10 degress to 30 degrees. This Pole Shift will cause global catastrophe straight out of Revelations, and only the Human Elite and their chosen kin will survive by living in gigantic underground bunkers. The rest of us will have to use the type of apparatus shown below.

Nibiru is supposed to be red, but this guy has a nice explanation for where the threatening heavenly body is currently hanging out.

You gottta love this Tsunami Survival Ball the guy is shilling out at the bottom of the article:

Yeah, buddy. If you're wearing one of these when a Tsunami hits you ain't got nothing to worry about - except clean air. If they manage to get 10,000 of these mofos ordered then the cost is only $2,012.00 each. Holy shit, and you would think that with the world about to end - they wouldn't care so much for money. BTW, if you didn't order by April 1, 2012 - that's your ass, and when we're clinging to trees and pool tables and other shit that could float, these assholes are going to walk right on by with their sealed Bubble-Boy bubbles laughing all way to... the bank? I wonder how much air is in that thing and what happens when you replace the air in there with CO2 from your lungs. And of course, how long the entire process takes.

SO IF Nibiru is on the way to us, the reason we can't see it is because it is a Red Dwarf, and apparently hard to see. Our Ancient Alien manipulators are thought to live in, on or around Nibiru and are currently trying to warn us of the coming apocalypse via Crop Circles.

I have no idea what that shit says. I mean, Aliens - c'mon - you been abducting us for years - you know our colons inside and out, yet you can't write in English, Spanish or Chinese? Epic Fail.

There are some way-out-there theories that explain a lot of stuff except for "how the hell am I supposed to believe that?". The theroists all say "research", so that's what I'm doing. Let's see where this takes us, shall we?

I began with the End of Days scenarios for my first piece because we could only be 2 1/2 months away from a total assrape by a fucking planet. Can we stop it, like in that movie Armageddon? Wait, the Bible is right? Wormwood, the Destroyer, Planet X, etc. is coming - what can we do?