Workbench

05/20/2009

My Worst Nightmare: A Kentucky Mall Person With a Gun

Kentucky's Constitution requires the election of a country constable, though the archaic position no longer has duties and pays only $100 a month. Still, the Constitution gives constables certain powers, including the power to arrest people and carry a gun.

The last few constables of Jefferson County, where I live, have run their election campaigns as a kind of beer-powered joke, and once in office have cashed their meager paychecks and not done much else.

Yeah, well, now we've got a duly elected constable who takes the job seriously. He patrols in a tricked-out "police car" and has catalog-shopped a kind of uniform. He's "deputizing" volunteer toughs who, it turns out, are convicted felons. The County Sheriff thinks the county constable ought to be reined in, but there's nothing anyone can do about it without changing the Constitution.

Watch the video here. It's funny, as long as you're safely out of range.