Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Endodontics - Day Two

No, it wasn't supposed to happen this way. When I left yesterday, the doc handed me two prescriptions - one for an antibiotic, the other for the pain meds. His exact words were, "You probably won't even need these." The pain meds, of course. Need and want are still two different things, right? "See you next Monday." Kiss of Death. Could he have tempted fate a little more? Fast forward to 3:30 this morning. I'm awake and, oddly, so is my tooth. The one he told me he had loaded with antimicrobials prior to using a temporary filling material. That tooth. The one that won't cause me any pain. Why, yes, he did get a call at 8:03 as soon as I could lift my head from my hands and see the numbers clearly on the telephone. This hurt worse than yesterday. When doc? You can see me WHEN? 1:15 this afternoon, huh? I'm good, see you then. The next 5 hours were excruciating...and don't make me remind you I'm a wuss. Can't take pain at all. Seriously, a hangnail puts me down for two days. I once hit myself on the thumb with a hammer and was out for a week. No pain, dude, I can't deal.

I show up at 12:40....because it hurt, that's why...and he comes to get me at 1:05, then proceeds to ask how I'm doing. How the hell do you think I'm doing? I'm here 45 minutes early. A clue, perhaps? My face is swelling like that baloon at the carnival that gets bigger when you spray water in the clown's mouth. Seriously large. Let's take a look after we open it up again. Then, I had to confess - "Umm, Doc? The pressure was a little intense, so I might have, umm, taken a, uh......I might have dug the filling out of the tooth. There I said it." I had done just that. This morning, after two hours at my desk, it was either dig it out or claw my eyes out. I have never experienced a pain like that before. Labor pains were the closest thing I can remember. I even had an epidural before that, too. It was some serious.....wait. That wasn't me. Those were sympathy pains. Got it. Saddest part? Pain meds couldn't touch this. These are strong puppies, too. No sense in wasting them - I started drinking instead. Yep, right there at my desk. I pulled out the Scotch at 10:00 and just......please tell me you aren't believeing this. I did no such thing. Actually, I curled up on the floor in the fetal position. Not quite as good as Scotch, but it helped.

So we have the tooth open and we go through the same procedure again, only this time he proceeds to squeeze my jaw on both sides. Hard. This is when he told me of the....'stuff' oozing out. Okay, enough of that. It does, but we don't need to get graphic, eh? This time, we use even more Clorox to irrigate it (I'm guessing it'll work) and close it again. Easy peasy lemon......we've been down this road. Never mind. He did give me another antibiotic, though. Specifically told me not to drink while taking it and, as I assumed it would render it ineffective, I nodded my understanding. That was when he hit me with, "It has the same effects as Antabuse." Anyone know what Antabuse is? Anyone? Bueller? It's the drug they use in alcohol-treatment programs. It will make you ill if you drink. I have a bad tooth and this freak wants me NOT TO DRINK??? Oh, and it makes you pee brown. What? TMI? Sorry, but that side-effect kind of threw me. I just thought I'd share. Anyway, herre we are, ready for another fun night. Get ready, America. If you see tomorrow's entry titled, Endo - Day Three....you'll know it wasn't me writing it. I'll be in jail. Sadly, we'll have one less endodontist in this area, too.....just sayin'. Yessssss.....that was a JOKE! Hope y'all have a better night than I did.......