Solving the case with Inspector AFL

Date: February 23 2013

Leaping Larry

LORD Athol Findlay Layton Footballe (1921-1984) was an acclaimed master detective, whose foolproof deductive methods are still used by certain major sporting bodies. Join us as we delve into the voluminous casebook of "Inspector AFL" - as Footballe became known - and try to arrive at the solution before the inspector does.

CASE #37: Sir Cedric Founderbinder-Sprawke was discovered dead in his sprawling mansion clutching a measly toupee, half a liverwurst, and the score to Puccini's opera, The Mangy Locksmith. His head had been beaten in with a large-scale model of the Hindenburg, rendered entirely in pocket lint and wood glue.

Further, the room was locked, otherwise empty, and the only keys were held by Sir Cedric. That is, other than one set in the possession of a former butler, Snivers, who had been discharged for theft some weeks prior, and was known to be secretly bald, an offal-fancier, obsessive concerning dirigibles, Puccini, and, for that matter, ravioli, and the possessor of pockets and glue. The case seemed insoluble.

Inspector AFL'S solution: After measuring the room and all locks for several months, and interviewing a chap who once saw the Loch Ness Monster, Inspector Footballe announced he could come to only one conclusion: as the room had been locked, it was impossible for murder to have occurred.

CASE #153: Lord Pule Snickerhole, (14th Duke of Earl and vice-versa), was found dead on his salon floor, with more holes and less breath than usual. His young wife, Lady Norinda Snickerhole (nee Verna Gitt), was found standing over him carrying a smoking gun, adjacent to a blood-stained knife, shrieking, "I done it to the old goat, cor blimey!!" Can you unravel this perplexing puzzler?

Inspector AFL'S solution: After examining every square inch of the residence with a magnifying glass, Inspector AFL lost the magnifying glass. He then declared: since the couple were married, and thus obviously in love, murder was patently impossible. He declared Lady Snickerhole innocent of all charges, but fined her £500,000 to replace his magnifying glass, and for "sundry expenses".

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