A. The medical students heard seventeen lectures about the compliment cascade.

B. The medical students heard seventeen lectures about the complement cascade.

24Scientific Writing, HRP 214

A. The medical students heard seventeen lectures about the compliment cascade.

B. The medical students heard seventeen lectures about the complement cascade.

25Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP from a textbook The fear expressed by some teachers that students would not learn statistics well if they were permitted to use canned computer programs has not been realized in our experience. A careful monitoring of achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in the teaching of our course revealed no appreciable change in students performances. 26Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP from a textbook The fear expressed by some teachers that students would not learn statistics well if they were permitted to use canned computer programs has not been realized in our experience. A careful monitoring of achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in the teaching of our course revealed no appreciable change in students performances. 27Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP? Many teachers feared that the use of canned computer programs would prevent students from learning statistics. We monitored student achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in our course and found no detriments in performance. 28Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP 2

Anti-inflammatory agents may be protective for the occurrence of Alzheimers Disease and may reduce the progression of the disease.

Identify the problems

-- to be is a weak verb (may be protective)

--you dont protect for, you protect against (word choice)

--occurrence is a vague, weak noun

--can you reduce progression? (word choice)

--progression of disease? disease progression

29Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP 2

Anti-inflammatory agents may be protective for the occurrence of Alzheimers Disease and may reduce the progression of the disease.

Important studies to examine the descriptive epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence and changes in the characteristics of the population over time, have begun.

Identify the problems

--wheres the verb?

--watch fluff words like important

--can changes occur without being over time?

-- changes in the characteristics of the population is vague and wordy

31Scientific Writing, HRP 214 WARM UP 3

Important studies to examine the descriptive epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence and changes in the characteristics of the population over time, have begun.

?

Studies have begun to describe the epidemiology of autism, including recent changes in the disorders prevalence and characteristics.

32Scientific Writing, HRP 214

Lecture Four, July 13th, 2005 Writing Basics II

Paragraphs, logic, and organization

33Scientific Writing, HRP 214 paragraphsAlthough the methodological approaches are similar, the questions posed in classic epidemiology and clinical epidemiology are different. In classic epidemiology, epidemiologists pose a question about the etiology of a disease in a population of people. Causal associations are important to identify because, if the causal factor identified can be manipulated or modified, prevention of disease is possible. On the other hand, in clinical epidemiology, clinicians pose a question about the prognosis of a disease in a population of patients. Prognosis can be regarded as a set of outcomes and their associated probabilities following the occurrence of some defining event or diagnosis that can be a symptom, sign, test result or disease. 34Scientific Writing, HRP 214 What are you trying to say? Idea flow chart (outline) 35Scientific Writing, HRP 214 sentence-level editingAlthough the methodological approaches are similar, the questions posed in classic epidemiology and clinical epidemiology are different. 36Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Despite methodologic similarities, classic epidemiology and clinical epidemiology differ in aim. 37Scientific Writing, HRP 214 paragraph parallelismIn classic epidemiology, epidemiologists pose a question about the etiology of a disease in a population of people. Causal associations are important to identify because, if the causal factor identified can be manipulated or modified, prevention of disease is possible. On the other hand, in clinical epidemiology, clinicians pose a question about the prognosis of a disease in a population of patients. Whats the structure of the comparison/contrast? Here In discipline 1, group 1 poses a question about XX in a population of XX. In discipline 2, group 2 poses a question about YY in a population of YY. 38Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Classic epidemiologists pose a question about the etiology of a disease in a population of people. Clinical epidemiologists pose a question about the prognosis of a disease in a population of patients. 39Scientific Writing, HRP 214 sentence-level editingPrognosis can be regarded as a set of outcomes and their associated probabilities following the occurrence of some defining event or diagnosis that can be a symptom, sign, test result or disease. ? Prognosis is the probability that an event or diagnosis will result in a particular outcome. 40Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Altogether Despite methodologic similarities, classic epidemiology and clinical epidemiology differ in aim. Classic epidemiologists pose a question about the etiology of disease in a population of people etiologic factors can be manipulated to prevent disease. Clinical epidemiologists pose a question about the prognosis of a disease in a population of patients prognosis is the probability that an event or diagnosis will result in a particular outcome. 41Scientific Writing, HRP 214 compare to outline 42Scientific Writing, HRP 214

Before you start writing, ask

What am I trying to say?

When you finish writing, ask

Have I said it?

43Scientific Writing, HRP 214

Paragraph organization tips

1. Avoid a succession of loose sentences (monotonous).

2. Paragraph flow is helped by

parallel sentence structures

logical flow of ideas

if necessary, transition words

3. Your reader remembers the first sentence and the last sentence best. Make the last sentence memorable. Emphasis at the end!

44Scientific Writing, HRP 214

Paragraph organization tips

Avoid a succession of loose sentences (monotonous).

--Outlining and organizing can help arrange ideas.

--But, when stringing together a series of ideas, dont forget to vary sentence structure for readability.

45Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Example from Strunk and White The third concert of the subscription series was given last evening, and a large audience was in attendance. Mr. Edward Appleton was the soloist, and the Boston Symphony Orchestra furnished the instrumental music. The former showed himself to be an artist of the first rank, while the latter proved itself fully deserving of its high reputation. The interest aroused by the series has been very gratifying to the Committee, and it is planned to give a similar series annually hereafter. The fourth concert will be given on Tuesday, May 10, when an equally attractive program will be presented. 46Scientific Writing, HRP 214

2. Paragraph flow is helped by

parallel sentence structures

logical flow of ideas

if necessary, transition words

47Scientific Writing, HRP 214

logical flow of ideas

Sequential in time

General? specific

Logical arguments (if a then b a therefore b)

48Scientific Writing, HRP 214 example Usually, when a defendant absconds, a bondsman hires a bounty hunter to find and arrest him within the grace period (which, in California, is six months). If that fails, the bondman tries to seize any collateral that the defendant put down to secure the bond, or sues the defendants indemnitors, who signed the bail application as guarantors. But Zabala hadnt put down any collateral, and so far Greenone of the few bondsmen who always do their own bounty huntinghad found neither him nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court thirty-one thousand dollars. 49Scientific Writing, HRP 214 organized by time sequence and general? specific 1. First, a bondsman hires a bounty hunter to find and arrest the defendant within the grace period. 2. Then, if that fails, the bondman seizes collateral or sues indemnitors. 3. Now, in this specific case, the defendant (Zabala) is AWOL and has no collateral or available indemnitors 4. Conclusion the bondswoman (Green) is out of options. Notice how the author didnt need to write first, then, in this specific case, or conclusion? the organization of sentences and context gives readers these clues without spelling them out 50Scientific Writing, HRP 214 examine the logical structure

A bondsman has these and only these options

Hire a bounty hunter to find and arrest the guy within a grace period.

If (1) fails, seize collateral or sue indemnitor.

Pay the money herself.

In this case,

Grace period nearly done without arrest.

No collaterol, no indemnitors.

? Green (the bondswoman) will be responsible for the 31,000.

51Scientific Writing, HRP 214 transitions used Usually, when a defendant absconds, a bondsman hires a bounty hunter to find and arrest him within the grace period (which, in California, is six months). If that fails, the bondman tries to seize any collateral that the defendant put down to secure the bond, or sues the defendants indemnitors, who signed the bail application as guarantors. But Zabala hadnt put down any collateral, and so far Greenone of the few bondsmen who always do their own bounty huntinghad found neither him nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court thirty-one thousand dollars. 52Scientific Writing, HRP 214

3. Your reader remembers the first sentence and the last sentence best. Make the last sentence memorable.

53Scientific Writing, HRP 214

But Zabala hadnt put down any collateral, and so far Greenone of the few bondsmen who always do their own bounty huntinghad found neither him nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court thirty-one thousand dollars.

Long, short, long.

54Scientific Writing, HRP 214

But Zabala hadnt put down any collateral, and so far Greenone of the few bondsmen who always do their own bounty huntinghad found neither him nor his indemnitors. The grace period was nearly up. Soon, Green would have to pay the court thirty-one thousand dollars.

Long, short, long.

Nice sentence variety and build-up to the conclusion.

55Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Paragraph exercise

Headache is an extraordinarily common pain symptom that virtually everyone experiences at one time or another. As a pain symptom, headaches have many causes. The full range of these causes were categorized by the International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache disorders primary headache disorders and secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache disorders are a consequence of an underlying condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection or a head injury. In primary headache disorders, the headache disorder is the fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of another cause. The two most common types of primary headache disorders are episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine. Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized classification system used, a brief comment on others would be appropriate especially if there are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

Headache is an extraordinarily common pain symptom that virtually everyone experiences at one time or another. As a pain symptom, headaches have many causes. The full range of these causes were categorized by the International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache disorders primary headache disorders and secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache disorders are a consequence of an underlying condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection or a head injury. In primary headache disorders, the headache disorder is the fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of another cause. The two most common types of primary headache disorders are episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine. Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized classification system used, a brief comment on others would be appropriate especially if there are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

57Scientific Writing, HRP 214 wordiness tally

Headache is an extraordinarily common pain symptom that virtually everyone experiences at one time or another. As a pain symptom, headaches have many causes. The full range of these causes were categorized by the International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache disorders primary headache disorders and secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache disorders are a consequence of an underlying condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection or a head injury. In primary headache disorders, the headache disorder is the fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of another cause. The two most common types of primary headache disorders are episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine. Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized classification system used, a brief comment on others would be appropriate especially if there are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

58Scientific Writing, HRP 214 avoid meta-comment

Headache is an extraordinarily common pain symptom that virtually everyone experiences at one time or another. As a pain symptom, headaches have many causes. The full range of these causes were categorized by the International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache disorders primary headache disorders and secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache disorders are a consequence of an underlying condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection or a head injury. In primary headache disorders, the headache disorder is the fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of another cause. The two most common types of primary headache disorders are episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine. Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized classification system used, a brief comment on others would be appropriate especially if there are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

59Scientific Writing, HRP 214 outline ideas

Headache is an extraordinarily common pain symptom that virtually everyone experiences at one time or another. As a pain symptom, headaches have many causes. The full range of these causes were categorized by the International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache disorders primary headache disorders and secondary headache disorders. Secondary headache disorders are a consequence of an underlying condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection or a head injury. In primary headache disorders, the headache disorder is the fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of another cause. The two most common types of primary headache disorders are episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine. Although IHS is the most broadly used/recognized classification system used, a brief comment on others would be appropriate especially if there are uses that have epidemiologic advantages.

Headache is an extraordinarily common pain symptom that virtually everyone experiences at one time or another. As a pain symptom, headaches have many causes. The full range of these causes were categorized by the International Headache Society (IHS) in 1988. The IHS distinguishes two broad groups of headache disorders primary headache disorders and secondary headache disorders.

Repetition can sometimes help transitions, but here its just repetitive! 62Scientific Writing, HRP 214

?

Headache is a pain symptom that almost everyone experiences. The International Headache Society (IHS) groups headaches into two types based on cause primary headache disorders and secondary headache disorders.

63Scientific Writing, HRP 214

Secondary headache disorders are a consequence of an underlying condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection or a head injury. In primary headache disorders, the headache disorder is the fundamental problem it is not symptomatic of another cause. The two most common types of primary headache disorders are episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine.

In primary headache disorders, the headache itself is the main complaint. The two most common types of primary headache disorder are episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine. Secondary headache disorders result from an underlying condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

65Scientific Writing, HRP 214

?

In primary headache disorders, the headache itself is the main complaint. The two most common types of primary headache disorder are episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine. Secondary headache disorders result from an underlying condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

66Scientific Writing, HRP 214

?

In primary headache disorders, the headache itself is the main complaint. The two most common types of primary headache disorder are episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine. Secondary headache disorders result from an underlying condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

67Scientific Writing, HRP 214 together

Headache is a pain symptom that almost everyone experiences. The International Headache Society (IHS) groups headaches into two types based on cause primary headache disorders and secondary headache disorders. In primary headache disorders, the headache itself is the main complaint. The two most common types of primary headache disorder are episodic tension-type headache (ETTH) and migraine. Secondary headache disorders result from an underlying condition, such as a brain tumor, a systemic infection, or a head injury.

71Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Organizing your thoughts Do you have a system? If you dont, get one. Spend more time organizing and less time writing. Its just plain less painful! The 101 feature-story ratio 10 parts organization/research 1 part writing. 72Scientific Writing, HRP 214 Develop a road-map . Think in paragraphs and sections 73Scientific Writing, HRP 214

A note paraphrasing and plagiarism

74Scientific Writing, HRP 214 a few notes on paraphrasing

Use your own words

Work from memory

Draw your own conclusions

Do not simply re-arrange the original authors words

Do not mimic the original authors sentence structure

75Scientific Writing, HRP 214 paraphrasing

Original

If the existence of a signing ape was unsettling for linguists, it was also startling news for animal behaviorists.

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For a small fee you can get the industry's best online privacy or publicly promote your presentations and slide shows with top rankings. But aside from that it's free. We'll even convert your presentations and slide shows into the universal Flash format with all their original multimedia glory, including animation, 2D and 3D transition effects, embedded music or other audio, or even video embedded in slides. All for free. Most of the presentations and slideshows on PowerShow.com are free to view, many are even free to download. (You can choose whether to allow people to download your original PowerPoint presentations and photo slideshows for a fee or free or not at all.) Check out PowerShow.com today - for FREE. There is truly something for everyone!