Humour & Nostalgia
for Pensionistas

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Most items on this page are clickable on.

Some of the items are flash videos. If you do not have a flash video player
installed on your computer, you can download a free one by clicking here

Bob Dylan young and Bob Dylan old.

To see more comparisons of famous people when they were young and old,
click on the either of the Bob Dylan photos above.

Old people having fun

(click pic for video)

An elderly rabbi and an elderly Catholic priest are reminiscing as they sit opposite each other in a train.

(Click on either of them to read how the conversation went.)

Two elderly women are chatting one morning. Ethel notices something funny about Mabel's ear. She says, "Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mabel replies, "I have? A suppository?"
She pulls it out and stares at it.
Then she says, "Ethel, I'm so glad you saw this. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."

Is your memory getting worse? Do you keep forgetting
your password? Try changing it to "incorrect". That way,
when you log on with the wrong password, your computer
will tell you, "Your password is incorrect"

Here's something for retirees

Mike Lawson writes: We actually saw a church with this on it's notice board when we were travelling between Lancashire and Yorkshire, and I immediately thought, "Ah, I must put this on the Humour for Third Agers page"

Over a certain age our eyesight deteriorates. It is possible that
you may not be able to see this illusion. Click here and when
you see the picture keep looking at it. Don't give up. Many
people can eventually see a giraffe.

50th Wedding Anniversary

To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, George & Barbara decide to go back to the hotel where they had stayed for their honeymoon.
Click pic to read what happens ...

Fred has a problem

Fred is getting old and has a problem making love with his wife.
Click pic to read what happens ...

The Retirement ofSherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson

Click on Holmes to read more ...

Aren't you glad that you don't have to
go to work in the UK in winter any more?

Two elderly gentlemen were sitting in the lounge of their nursing home when Edith streaked past them entirely in the nude. One of the men
turned to his friend Tom and said, "Did you see that? What was she
wearing? " Tom replied, "I don't know, but it needs ironing!"

When I first received this, it was called "A car for women", which I thought was stupidly sexist.
Wouldn't we all just love a vehicle like this, whatever gender (or age) we are? And if you are,
like me, a third-ager who seems to have lost the skill of confidently pulling level with a parked
car and, in one attempt, reversing smartly into the just-over-a-car-length space behind, then
you too would give an awful lot to get your hands on one of these.

Grumpy old man:

"When I get mad at you, you never
fight back. How do you control your anger?"

Long suffering wife:

"I clean the toilet."

Grumpy old man:

"How does that help?"

Long suffering wife:

"I use your toothbrush."

Worried about the ageing process?

Dr. Goldberg retires and comes
to live on the Costa Blanca.
After many happy years,
he finally dies .....

Click on the doctor to read what happens next .....

There is actually a tombstone with this wording on it in Harrow on the Hill churchyard.

The LP cover - remember LPs? - I bet some of
you even still have your old 78s - is a link to
a page of flash videos I have downloaded from
YouTube. Some of the videos are clips from
old rock 'n' roll movies. Just listen to the
dialogue! Corny as heck, but it brings tears
of nostalgia to my eyes. The music is just
as fantastic as it was over half a century ago!
Play a few clips and imagine yourself back in
your adolescence .....