Monday, December 21, 2009

So...did you hear in the paper or whatever form of celebrity death driven breaking news that they found a hut that dates back to about 2010 years ago in Nazareth...they also found a box with some poetry with some of the titles being: Who is my real dad? Your not my real dad, Joseph better clean up his own damn mess or I am going to get some lighting shot at that jerk, why does everything I touch turn to flowers? Pretty odd...but anyway, LONG weekend, and plenty of stuff to write about and pictures and smiles, and candy canes and yeah, but not today, tomorrow, I just wrote this to make this the most productive blogging month The Rial's Blog Street Pharmacy has ever had (except fort March, but we are coming for you, you Pisces/Aries infested lunar cycle, you)

Real Quick, a list of "guys"

The Abbreviate Guy.This lazy sack of crap has either never learned what the true root word is or just thinks its cool, which it isn't, to abbreviate things. these dudes are usually long winded so I don't think it is to save energy time.Examples:San FranVegasCoyotes (pronounced KI-Yot-s)CincyCali

These nomenclatures are normally fine, but in my experiences, the Abbv. Guy doesn't ever not abbreviate them. I have stricken conversations and PURPOSELY said"I wonder what the attendance issues would be like if the Coyotes franchise moved to San Fransisco, California has a sizable snow bird/immigrant population, it may work or it may be better in Cincinnati"

and gotten replies of

"San Fran in no good for the Ki-Yot-S Cali isn't a hockey state,. it would be better in Cincy"

And again and again, I would over enunciate the elongated proper name, still they stick to there guns.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Welcome back to our review of the year that was (and according to our fake christian calendars, this year will be ending soon, but the Rial blog Human Waste Recycling Clinic use a far advanced set of random dates and numbers to measure the turn of the earth and its circles around the sun, so advanced we can't even share it with, its like a hipster calendar)

Well...it has come to my attention, that apparently my switch from whiskey cola to straight whiskey wasn't in fact THAT huge in 2009. Neither was 140k in debt, or playing in a mildly successful band on a mildly local level in a mildly apathetic town. And apparently a couple CD's that I really liked wasn't that great either. Well...people that apparently know my life so well (and if your reading this, you probably should, unless your here for the label tags, which is the reason I am here) what was sooo HUGE this year for us at The Rial Blog Machine Gun firing Range? Huh? What?

Oh...what is that? THE BABY!!!! Oh shit! your right, that was pretty momentous. Hmm..well, I can't believe that slipped my mind, you know I got alot going on, like basketball games on TV, contemplating types of whiskey I could be drinking with out cola, trying to clean my newly purchased house, pretending to get my act together, you know, some full slate kinda stuff. I can't believe I forgot the baby.

Well. How huge was this baby (emotional/financially, not actually big). I would say, and no offense to anyone else with the sir-name Rial, but this is probably the raddess Rial born in 2009. I said it, so singer-song writer Robert Rial from Seattle, if you had a kid this year, bring it, lets test your mettle, and Marta Rial who lives in Vilagarcía, Galicia, Spain, if you got any grandkids or something and you think you can test this, well, fly me out and I will reimburse you if your seed can hold a candle to mine.

Penelope Amelia Frances Rial has been one of the most pleasant surprises, coolest additions, and of course most life altering events that has ever happened to me. (I hope all your panties and male panties are un bundled, did you think I wasn't going to talk about this, come on...you probably also forgot about Dre as well).

When she was born and all new born and stuff, that stuff was wild, it was really really weird, I didn't even know what to think, she was delicate and little and..well little. And I thought it was cool, but then she got older and holy cow, shit is amazing. Once she started getting a little personality and started doing things independently and started reacting and blah blah blah, it was really awesome and I am so glad I got to experience it. And have butt loads more to experience, and I am psychedLets take a little picture walk down the first 9 months of Penelope's life:(if you have corny music, don't play it, actually question the reasons why you have said music)She is like 5 minutes old or something here. This was crazy, it was hell on Sarah, it wasn't as scary or shocking as dudes with smaller male genitalia than mine have said. something like 36 hoursin labor, but prolly more. (there is no 36 chamber...right...huh...Wu-Tang, Wu-Tang!)Hospital in the first week of being born part two, she spent 60 hours or something a couple days after she was born in Phoenix Children s Hospital for some dehydration that was fixed a couple hours after we were checked in, this sucked, but it was better to be safe than sorry. She also got a spinal tap, which is pretty gnarly.We have already shown this one before, but this is some classic Penny.Back when wearing bonnets was cool, and hanging out in swings and sleeping like all day, she is sooo over that now, she plays pinball and smokes...wait that is me.this is when she finally realized...holy crap, that is what you look like dad, I hope I take after mom (sappy and corny, I know, but really she said that:reference the increased whiskey intake)Out on the downeating for the first timeArmy crawl actionOnly thing that can get me to stand is my own reflectionHalloween"I can't take 12 steps homey, what you know about that?"Last Week (she dress like that, I told her we are southwest, not southeast, she then told me to shut up and go crack corn, i have no idea what that ment.)

So yeah, Penelope has opened a whole new world of touching feces on a daily basis and being semi ok with that, a world were eating off the floor isn't just for me anymore, a world were me and Sarah are totally and fully stoked on having this tiny little person in our lives.

Ok, so the year is ending soon (and the world, but that is best told in the new blockbuster 2012 starring John Cusack, go see it and don't tell me how it ends, or ever talk to me again while your at it) So us at the Rial Blog Robotic Massage Parlor and Saw Mill have decided to start a multi part series of things that made this year HUGE!

Lets get a small recap about this year Anno Domini 2009.I went from drinking whiskey with cola to drinking whiskey straight.I experienced a -15 degree day at a funeral.I bought a house.I had my possessions stolen from a previous house.

Hmmmm...what else happened this year....buying the house was pretty huge....uuuuggghhhh...yeah I think that was the milestone...the house.....well this is an ongoing series, so maybe I will think of something bigger and more life changing than the house purchase.

But, part one of this series will be a little more focused then a free flowing one sided discussion, oh yes, direction, goals, vision, that is what we are aiming for here. So Part one of 2009:

MUSICSo this year kicked off with my band, Said Gun playing our first "show" and I put that in quotations a it was a new years party, but it was a show non the less, all Said Gun shows are a show in some sorts, and sometimes we play music. Since that night, we have played around 20 shows, three outside of Phoenix and 2/3 of those weren't disastrous, we recorded a 6 song demo and made some stickers and shirts and have had a great time. This has been pretty fun.

Now this year has seen my musical taste go from crummy vocals, emotional lyrics, post hardcore instrumentation domination to sludgy, drudgy, swampy, heavy. I still very much love the before mentioned music, but the heavy has really drawn me in.

Baroness - Blue AlbumA quick google search has resulted in these adjectives to describe this Heavy band from Georgia:sludge metal, progressive metal, post-metal, Southern rock, the dissonance of Fugazi, the classic gallop and twin guitar work of Thin Lizzy, and the stripped-down, straightforward approach of a jam-oriented indie rock band, pure heaviness offset by an often startling knack for arresting melodies.What does that all mean? These guys friggin rule, and I highly recommend that you see them live, it is really important in your quest for heaviness (if you are on such a quest and you should be) Don't let the metal part turn you off, these guys are more HEAVY than metal, think Fugazi and Helmet mixed with Built To Spill and early metallica.(Right Click the links for vids)Swollen HaloA Horse Called GolgothaThe Sweetest Curse

Russian Circles - GenevaBorder line fantasy music...more like instru-metal, classic combination of quite loud quite, but done from a more "indie rock" sensibility, excellent driving music, work music, house cleaning music. Exceptional drummer as well. This band has been getting better and better with each 6-7 song release, shit is tightGenevaFathomMelee

Pelican - What We All Come To NeedAnother "stonor" "doom" "post rock" band that is a kind of blend aggression with a pop sensibility. A more working class version of Russian Circles, these dudes really brought with the new album as well. Again, shit is tight.GlimmerEphemeral

propagandhi - Supporting CasteHoly crap this record is soooo good. I thought Less Talk More Rock was the pinnacle of albums and the end all be all of how I think a record should sound like and be layed out, track wise, subject wise recoding wise, concept wise. But shit man, this one blows that away. With the departure of the Weakerthans guy ushered in a new an awesome era for propagandhi, that has helped bring me into the fold with regard to heavy music, 2001 Todays Empires Tomorrows Ashes, then Potemkin City Limits and now this, Supporting Caste, it is what all the previous post Sampson albums have been leading up to. This band as never ever been better, and they have a fourth member.Night LettersDear Coaches CornerPotemkin City Limits

Friday, December 4, 2009

No more, this is it! The end, its been fun...but I cannot and will not take anymore. Vampires are sooooo lame. Never have then been cool, Count Dracula? Dude was stuck in his stupid castle and could only really travel as far as that crummy Transylvania to eat out, and let me tell you something about eating Hungarian's, its no Samoan. Plus what was he the Count of? Was he the count of the rocky, vampire infested little burb that he terrorized? Why is this a big deal, that polygamist dude in Northern Arizona/Southern Utah had a bigger district to terrorize and he isn't glorified. I am sure there are plenty of blood drinking, flesh tearing, awkward sexually ambiguous dudes all over the forgotten margin towns of eastern Europe. But I will give it up to the Count for at least being an OG (never mind the legend of Vlad the Impaler were this story emerged from, because, well, history is for game shows involving 5th graders and channel 71 Cox Cable, not for blogs.)

What is really tipping the scales here is this situation we have with all these G-D vampires that have nice hair and hunky looks and are driving me nuts. Lets take it back a good 15 years. Interview With a Vampire. This is the gold standard of modern day vamparism, homo-erotic, powder faced, foppypansy's with a lust for blood and being totally lame. Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise and that one girl with the weird placed eyes...not scary, not cool, totally dumb. What is it that attracts the masses to this level of total mediocracy, because that is all vampires are, mediocre. They don't savagely tear flesh like say a zombie or even a werewolf (who are also on thin ice with me) They are sexually repressed and take it out by being creepy and not by being sexual psychopaths like say a jack the ripper of mass murder. They are just run of the mill immortals, and not cool immortals like Highlanders, just lame ass blood drinking immortals.