Jujuy Lunfardo Dictionary

As per my normal daily schedule, like most every other day, I went to Carena. Today, however, my experience with Carena forever changed. I was two hours into my email and workload when I decided I needed a beer to keep the work flowing. When the waiter brought me the beer he said something like “te invitado” or something about me being invited and he pointed to a guy behind the counter. The guy waved so I waved back. It was puzzling but I didn’t give it too much thought. A few minutes later I noticed that the waiter didn’t leave the check on the table as he normally does and I realized what had happened. The dude behind the counter picked up my tab. This could mean one of two things. One: He works there or owns the place and he sees me come in often so he thought he would be nice and give me a drink on the house. This doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch because my sister Amber said that sometimes when she went to Carena she didn’t have to pay her bill because the staff liked her and her friends. Two: He bought me that beer because he likes me and wants an opener to be able to get to know me. Unfortunately I found out soon enough that it was the second thing he was after. Even if I tried to fool myself, I knew all along he was always after #2.

He came over to my table and sat down, starting a long and painful conversation with me. It was one of those conversations where the guys eyes were transfixed on me, not blinking once, asking every possible question he could think of to keep himself at my table. He was determined to do or say whatever he could to occupy my time. These types of guys and these types of conversations are always the hardest to get away from. He didn’t even hesitate to jump right in and ask me on a date for this Saturday no more than 5 minutes into the conversation. I politely turned him down but he kept pushing me. I gave him all of the kind and honest answers I could muster but he still thought he could break me. At one point he even had the audacity to ask me if I was a lesbian because I didn’t want a boyfriend, to date or to have a one-night-stand. What the hell is wrong with men? This is exactly the reason I don’t have a boyfriend. They expect that if you are single and they are attracted to you, then you have no reason not to like them. I could be radically honest and say, “Hey dude, listen, I’m not attracted to you therefore no matter what you say you will never have a chance with me.” But no, I answer like so: “I don’t really want to date right now but I’m flattered by your invitation.” I don’t lie. I don’t say that I have a boyfriend because I think lying only gets you deeper into the doo-doo that you are trying to stay out of. But I do realize why so many women do lie and maybe I should consider a little white lie from time to time. It’s just not in my nature so when I’m prompted with a question my first instinct is to tell the truth and then I kick myself later.

I know guys were born with a pair of balls but sometimes they really don’t know how to use them. If any guys are reading this post let me enlighten you with a little advice from a woman’s perspective: Most women don’t like the aggressively ballsy type of guy if they are coming out of left field. Just because you see a girl and think she is attractive, it doesn’t mean they immediately feel the same way you do. It is important to pay attention to detail because women will usually let you know when they are interested. If we are attracted to you we will probably throw you signs like coy smiles and we will probably try to meet your eyes multiple times. If we glance at you once because we are scanning the room for a free table, don’t take that as an invitation to approach. There is something that rules the dating world — chemistry, and you either have it or you don’t with a person — it is not something that can be created or learned. Chemistry starts with a physical attraction and evolves into a mental one. Plain and simple. I’m going to cut off my rant here because I honestly could write a book about this but I really don’t want to take the time (and I’m sure some other smart woman has already monopolized on this topic). As my friend Dani would say, “Ya fue” or “It’s in the past.”

yeah i mean, you won´t always get the signs from us but you also shouldn´t approach us and in less than 5 minutes into the convo ask us on a date. That is totally not enough time to “feel out the situation”. But yeah, he was creepy. You are a charming guy, I doubt you´d do what he did, Bobby. hha