322. Sex as Recreation

My recent posts have been a bit bland for you kinksters. While I threw in a few kinky topics, such asCuck, Swinging, and NRE, I’ve been light on details. Multiple inferences of sexual activities and explorations, but, “Where’s the beef?”

It’s just that I am a shy and modest person. I am sure you know how hard it is for me to share personal details.

NOT!!!

Don’t you think it is better for me to hint around TTWD and let you use your imagination? I bet your imagination is far steamier and raunchy than my reality!

Well, maybe not. After all, in addition to the sex the three of us have, there is a rarely a week that goes by that we don’t get together with others to play with.

And we still make it a point to have our one-on-one date nights at least once a month, whether it is me and Mike, me and Kayla, or Mike and Kayla.

Okay, Jen, those aren’t details. Spill it!

When three men are available, it’s common for me to have all my holes filled at once. In case that’s too vague, I am speaking of my mouth, vagina, and butthole. There! Detail enough for you?!?

I enjoy it, but if I have to pick a favorite position, it’s two men at once – one doing me doggy and the other in my mouth. And my most favorite is when Mike is the one in my mouth and I can look up at him and see his eyes watching what is going on. Hey, you’re the one that wanted details! Okay, probably not enough detail for most of you kinksters, but what else do you want to know? I am sure you don’t want to know what orifices the guys cum in, or anything about other pretzel-like positions I get into. What you really want to know is, how does this make me feel? Am I right, or am I right?

What? I am wrong? Oh well, sorry kinky devils out there. In Jenny fashion, I can’t just share an activity, I have to share how it makes me feel and unfortunately that will take up all the time I have. Well, indulge me and maybe I will answer those two questions at the end.

OBJECTIFICATION
I find being with three men at once is more of an emotional experience than a physical one. It isn’t that I am not feeling things physically – I certainly am! – It’s almost a sensation overload with one amazing feeling after another vying for my attention. Mixed in can be moments of discomfort. Not pain, else I stop, but let’s face it, DP can be uncomfortable sometimes.

Whereas with two men at once, I find the perfect balance between my physical and emotional pleasure. It hits three emotional buttons for me. (1) I know Mike is enjoying me enjoying myself. (2). The taboo nature of it is never far from my mind. (3) I love the feeling of objectification.

When it is three men at once, the physical pleasure is less, but the emotional feelings are amplified and focused on a singular feeling of objectification. I am not complaining. I like that feeling, I just like the more balanced feelings I get from two-on-Jen versus three.
I know, I know. Many of you probably think it’s terrible to like being objectified. Sorry, but feeling attractive and sexy feels good, and it feels good for the same reason that feeling unattractive and unsexy feels so bad. It just does.

There are risks in objectifying yourself or allowing yourself to be objectified. There are studies that show objectification is like an amplifier for how one already feels about themselves. For those with high self-esteem, which I count myself as one, objectification can be a boost to your already high self-esteem. But for those with low-self esteem, it can create a post-objectification drop in their well-being.

The positive feelings of objectification can become addicting. Which can become a challenge as the interest others may have in our beauty and body fades as we age. It can also create a terrible cycle for those with low-self esteem, chasing the “high” following the post-objectification drop in their well-being.

Yes, the emotional chemicals in our body that come with objectification can be really bad on the psyche. Just consider eating disorders and body shaming that many women do to themselves, let alone the body shaming and judgment that society does to us. Suffice to say I don’t take this “thrill” from objectification lightly. Especially when it comes to Kayla.

Although I am well past my prime in physical beauty, I find that as I got older the decrease in my vanity was accompanied by a decrease in the fucks I give. Humm… In the context of this post perhaps that colloquialism doesn’t work. I mean, literally, I am writing about the actual physical fucks I give (and receive). And as my vanity decreases, I am sure giving a lot more of those fucks! LOL.

My point is, I am a self-confident person when it comes to being happy about all aspects of who I am and what I do. Thus I feel I have the strength to experience the highs and avoid the lows of being objectified. But such strength mostly comes with age, and Kayla simply has not had the time to develop it.

I talk to Kayla a lot about TTWD, especially when it comes to the sex she has, even the sex she has with me and with Mike. ANd when I say “a lot” I mean it. I am constantly checking in with her about how she is feeling. She jokes we have our own daily Maintenance Sessions, minus the spankings of course. She is far more “addicted” to multiple partners at once than I am. She clearly gets a greater thrill than I do from being objectified. It worries me as I wonder if she truly just loves the thrill for thrill sake, or is she needing a “fix” because of a drop in her feelings of well-being?

In our conversations, I am convinced that she does have a handle on this and maintains a healthy psyche about her self worth. It’s not perfect, as we all have blind spots or moments of self-doubt, but nothing indicates to me that this has been unhealthy for her. HOWEVER – we have dialed things down. More on that in a bit, but first, here’s one more tidbit to share.

ANONYMOUS SEXSince I am in a sharing mood, we’ve done a new thing since the start of the year regarding anonymous sex. Mike arranged it with people we met from the swinging scene.

At one swinging gathering we attended at someone’s house, Mike had us stand blindfolded, not speaking to anyone during the “mingle” phase of the evening. He then led us to one of the bedrooms that had two beds. Kayla and I got naked and laid on the bed, leaving our blindfolds on. We were instructed to stay quite and not speak to anyone. Men then came in and, well, “came in.” lol. Just two men for each of us (as if “just two” means this is totally acceptable and normal).

SWINGING SHADEAfterwards Mike led us back out to the “after swap” mingling and we removed our blindfolds. It made the conversations very interesting as we tried to figure out who we had sex with. I kind of figured one of them out when their wife said something to me like, “Oh, you’re that blindfolded one my husband had sex with.” Her comment had this weight of indignation to it. I promptly scanned my eyes over towards her husband and then scanned my eyes over her body. I then told her, “I dunno. I don’t think so. He got to pick and I think he wanted something different so he went with the younger, firmer, more petite one of us that was blindfolded. Bitch!”

Hee-hee. I added that “Bitch” part. I didn’t really call her that.

DIALING IT DOWN
I mentioned a few posts agothat we have dialed down our sex play. We’ve noticed a pattern where there are times we venture outside our Circle of Trust (mainly John/Donna and Matt/Jillian), only to retreat within the confines of our COT.

Mike felt we all were getting a little too “addicted” to the thrills and he was concerned that it could lead to becoming careless. While we all like to explore boundaries, there is a difference between realizing you may have exceeded a boundary versus realizing you’ve damaged your psyche. Not that we’ve gone that far, but Mike is always overly cautious. He’s that way about practically everything in life.

A little about Mike – which in 300+ posts I haven’t really shared much about — He has always been a cautious person. So much so that in his younger days his primary “risk management” style was to avoid risk at all costs. In that respect it’s amazing he asked me to marry him! Ha! But he slowly learned that to fully live your life means you can’t avoid everything that carries risk. Living life is a risk. So while he never ignores risk, he has learned to mitigate it when he can and fully accept it when it makes sense.

In his words, he said that when it came to making decisions, he was always focused on the optimal outcome, versus the fun and experience in the journey that can lead to any outcome. As a result, there were many journeys he never took, fearing the outcome would not be optimal. Now, is that living life? Of course, then he married someone with the slogan, “Love life, every moment, every day.” You can imagine the friction this created at times. Such friction was eradicated with our DD journey.

So let’s face it! Sex has so many positive health effects as this article highlights. So as long as we have an honest and open dialogue about all things sex-related, I feel confident that all three of us will continue to benefit from what is one of our favorite hobbies – recreational sex!

FOR YOU KINKY F’er’s. I promised if you stuck with me I’d answer the question about what orifices the guys cum in as well as share other pretzel-like positions I get into. As for cum, it depends. Within our COT, anywhere is allowed. Outside our COT, it’s a case-by-case thing. Sometimes it’s allowed in or on me, other times it is not. A girl’s got limits! lol.

As for positions, well, this post is long enough. I will save that for my next post. Consider it a tease!!!

Dear lady-does your SIR know about those F’s in this post. You sound a little on overload. SIR may have to do some relief work. Can you tell us about Matt’s Jillian and how she fits into COT. Be happy.

Funny you would ask. I did clear those “fucks” with Mike. I can use such words in the right context, but context can be subjective – thus I’ve learned that it’s better safe than spanked. (that is how the saying goes, right?). As for Jillian, I mentioned her once before in a recent post, only to say she was dating Matt and joins in our fun. Maybe I’ll do a post sharing a bit more about her.

I think that, as a man, I have a good feel for objectification from an intelligent POV… but when the lights go out and you’re lying in bed and there are three naked women looking at you with “evil,” sexual intent – they’re about to eat your lunch like it’s never been eaten before – yeah, you can have one of those, “Why did I think this was gonna be fun?” moments. It doesn’t help when they’re methodically taking you apart at the seams… and because you know they can… and they will. It’s scary as fuck to have that deer in the headlights feeling and finding yourself in that position where some seriously horny women are about to have their way with you…

And there isn’t a damned thing you can do about it but to “suffer” their wrath. Exhilarating as anything I’ve ever experienced but, yeah, when I’d see that hungry look in their eyes, I really got to understand being objectified and more so when they made it clear that it was my duty to place myself at their disposal, any time, anywhere.

Other folks would always have their minds in the gutter about the sex we’d have and in all the possible combinations and, depending on who was being nosy, guys would look at me as if they’d be willing to off me to take my place and be in that dream situation… while women would look at me like I was the worst guy who’d ever been born, like it was all my fault and idea (and it wasn’t). And it was my “job” as spokesman to explain that what we did with, to, and for each was both the point of the relationship… and not so much.

Try explaining to some folks how sex isn’t just sex at times and it is responsible for, initially, creating the bond that tied us all together and maintained it right along with all the other things that represented our love for each other. Still, guys would tell me how lucky I am and I’d shake my head and say, “Keep thinking that…;” women would cattily say that I must think I’m hot shit to have a harem and “making” the girls service me like I was lord and master… and I’d tell them, “You really don’t know how this works and you certainly don’t have a clue what you’re talking about! They’re not my ‘sex slaves’ – I’m their ‘sex slave’!”

I watched them grow sexually, with me and with each other and while I’d suppose it’s “easy” to be the object of just one woman’s lust and desire, when you’re the object of three she-wolves’ lust, well, sometimes, it didn’t feel good and I had to learn to shove those feelings to the back of the bus and accept that it was what it was. I was all for having some outside help and made a case for it, not only to save my own ass but to provide an additional outlet for them… and it was summarily rejected and increased my feelings of being objectified in this aspect. I was told in no uncertain terms that I was all they wanted and needed… so live with it… and don’t make any other plans for tonight, okay?

After a while, I just got used to it; I accepted it and I really got to understand the whole objectification thing and from a rather simple perspective: We’re designed to be the objects of lust; everything about us is designed to scream – at designated times – “Take me and do me!” and, yeah, it can be very damned scary when everything about you is screaming this… and not one but three women say, “Dude, you are truly gonna be fucked…”

Then, imagine if you will or can that this went on for twenty years. Twenty. My greatest accomplishment, I think, is that I survived it.

I read and thought, “Yeah… I know how she feels…” but instead of fretting about “the implications,” you revel in them because doing anything other than that defeats the purpose and doesn’t make a lot of sense. Objectification is seen as a very bad thing… until one wants and needs to be objectified, huh?

No consideration required. I deem you ddjennifer the tease!! In fact I Knight you that! (When knighting a submissive female or male, a sword is not used on the shoulders—instead a wooden paddle is used on the backside) Mike should do this to make it official!!😜😜😜

well, Mike can use his “sword” if he so chooses. Okay, more of a dagger than a sword, not to impugn his manhood. Hey, a dagger can be really long! I better stop else I will get one across the backside.