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Happy Birthday, Gowanus Lounge!

The above image is how I started my morning today. After two days of getting little-to-no sleep (because my cat Bodhi is being a SHIT), I woke up today refreshed, energized and— dare I say it— MOTIVATED. The lattermost is a good thing given I have to go work in an hour.

Anyhoo, I got a cup of coffee, trudged into the living room and, not knowing what to write, sauntered over to The Gowanus Lounge to see what’s shaking. This is where I learned that the Gowanus Canal may be lethal to whales, but the Coney Island Whitefish population is thriving.

Unlike most people who would say Ewwww and scroll down to the next story, I laughed my ass off and thought to myself:

Now THAT’S journalism!

If this is a taste of what the second year of GL holds, I can hardly wait to see what comes next. My buddy Bob is entering some (not so) virgin territory that I (The Dog Shit Queen of Greenpoint) enjoy savoring over my morning coffee. I always considered him to be the Pontiff of Pollution, but I may have to rethink this title and start calling him the Coney Island Whitefish King instead.

The way I see it, the presence of discarded rubbers is a good thing because it indicates that the local population might actually be practicing safe sex. Mazel tov! Regrettably, the same cannot be said of my homeboys (and girls) up here in Greenpoint.

The aquatic life in Gowanus may be all but gone, but on Diamond Street the crabs are faring quite well, thank you very much!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Maybe the reason behind the recent Coney Island Whitefish migration (to Gowanus) is that Thor Equities evicted them? Sure, I could have made a joke about rubbers and “gag orders”, but that would have been too damned easy.

(Condom photo credit:The Brooklyn Paper)

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