Life isn’t always fair. Sometimes, people have advantages that you wish you had. It’s not their fault, but you hate them anyway out of pure envy. This is the case with myself and people who can grow full, thick, beautiful beards. It’s a case of luck and good genes that a man may or may not be able to grow a full beard.

For those who can grow facial hair, it can be an extension of your personality, a potential way to express who you are and what you’re like. Having a dope-ass beard to make follically challenged people feel inadequate is also a plus. Here’s what your style of facial hair might be saying about you.

Full-on Viking beard

Right, we get it, you can grow a beard. Thanks for making the rest of us look at our bare chins in the mirror with glassy eyes, while we quietly sob and curse our luck. In all fairness, letting your beard get that long is seen by everyone else as either unbelievably impressive or a sign of not taking care of yourself. It’s more about how you present the rest of yourself to match. Luckily for the rest of us, you don’t tend to brag, being happy enough to let the beard do the talking.

Uneven Stubble

You’re doing your best, truly you are, but it just doesn’t seem to be working. It’s just so patchy, with the tuft of proper beard on your chin being the most solid piece of facial hair you have. At least you’re trying, and we were always told that God loves a trier. It’s probably a sign that you are willing to work with what you’ve got to try and make it better. Either that, or you’re just lazy and have a sh*t beard.

Short Full Beard

The short full beard is a popular look with many a hipster. Therefore, this look signifies that you love buying over priced coffee and wearing lenseless glasses, because you like to stand out from the crowd (just like the millions of others who do the same thing). In all seriousness, this look needs to be coupled with certain styles to be considered non-hipster, so be very careful not to fall into the non-fat flat white espresso trap. You’re not all bad though, this look does tend to be used more by rich people, so you can potentially look richer just by having this beard, god bless that expensive face fur.

Balbo Beard

I like to call this one the ‘Obi Wan Kenobi in Star Wars episode 3’ look. This look tells others that you are mature and wise, that you tend to give people good world advice, much like our Jedi friend. This look can be a bit ageing if not done correctly. However when done right, it can be quite an attractive look to pull off. If you are rocking this look, then congratulations my friend, the sky’s the limit.

Heavy Stubble

Stubble screams ruggedness, and that’s exactly what every man, woman and child will think of you in this look. You are considered a man’s man who likes to get things done, at least to the outside world anyway. Inside, you’re probably not as manly, but being able to grow a consistent stubble is absolutely going to be a massive boost to your ego. Stubble is going to make you look very appealing, provided that you have the bone structure to back it up. If that’s the case, you’re bound to be a hit on a night out.

PLUS: Clean Shaven

This one is simultaneously the easiest and most difficult look to pull off. Anyone can go around clean shaven without causing an eye to be batted. It takes a great chin and jaw to make this style look intentional. It’s even more amazing to attempt to pull off the clean look when you actually can grow a beard, so kudos to you if make this choice. Check out our recent post on how to pick a beard type that will suit you if you are just joining the beard party.

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Beards…What Does Your Beard Say About You

April 17, 2017 (One Comment) by Dean Fitzgerald

Life isn’t always fair. Sometimes, people have advantages that you wish you had. It’s not their fault, but you hate them anyway out of pure envy. This is the case with myself and people who can grow full, thick, beautiful beards. It’s a case of luck and good genes that a man may or may not be able to grow a full beard.

For those who can grow facial hair, it can be an extension of your personality, a potential way to express who you are and what you’re like. Having a dope-ass beard to make follically challenged people feel inadequate is also a plus. Here’s what your style of facial hair might be saying about you.

Full-on Viking beard

Right, we get it, you can grow a beard. Thanks for making the rest of us look at our bare chins in the mirror with glassy eyes, while we quietly sob and curse our luck. In all fairness, letting your beard get that long is seen by everyone else as either unbelievably impressive or a sign of not taking care of yourself. It’s more about how you present the rest of yourself to match. Luckily for the rest of us, you don’t tend to brag, being happy enough to let the beard do the talking.

Uneven Stubble

You’re doing your best, truly you are, but it just doesn’t seem to be working. It’s just so patchy, with the tuft of proper beard on your chin being the most solid piece of facial hair you have. At least you’re trying, and we were always told that God loves a trier. It’s probably a sign that you are willing to work with what you’ve got to try and make it better. Either that, or you’re just lazy and have a sh*t beard.

Short Full Beard

The short full beard is a popular look with many a hipster. Therefore, this look signifies that you love buying over priced coffee and wearing lenseless glasses, because you like to stand out from the crowd (just like the millions of others who do the same thing). In all seriousness, this look needs to be coupled with certain styles to be considered non-hipster, so be very careful not to fall into the non-fat flat white espresso trap. You’re not all bad though, this look does tend to be used more by rich people, so you can potentially look richer just by having this beard, god bless that expensive face fur.

Balbo Beard

I like to call this one the ‘Obi Wan Kenobi in Star Wars episode 3’ look. This look tells others that you are mature and wise, that you tend to give people good world advice, much like our Jedi friend. This look can be a bit ageing if not done correctly. However when done right, it can be quite an attractive look to pull off. If you are rocking this look, then congratulations my friend, the sky’s the limit.

Heavy Stubble

Stubble screams ruggedness, and that’s exactly what every man, woman and child will think of you in this look. You are considered a man’s man who likes to get things done, at least to the outside world anyway. Inside, you’re probably not as manly, but being able to grow a consistent stubble is absolutely going to be a massive boost to your ego. Stubble is going to make you look very appealing, provided that you have the bone structure to back it up. If that’s the case, you’re bound to be a hit on a night out.

PLUS: Clean Shaven

This one is simultaneously the easiest and most difficult look to pull off. Anyone can go around clean shaven without causing an eye to be batted. It takes a great chin and jaw to make this style look intentional. It’s even more amazing to attempt to pull off the clean look when you actually can grow a beard, so kudos to you if make this choice. Check out our recent post on how to pick a beard type that will suit you if you are just joining the beard party.