A Military Christmas And More... :) Shangy!
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Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
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you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
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================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here...
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I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!!
================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
,-----------------.
( Christmas Is... )
`-----------------'
O
o
,-.
.:\ '`-.
|:| __ b
`;-(
,' |
( \|||_
,-----(.-''--``-------.
/_______`'______________\
/ SSt\
Our friend Bunni has been sending us some nice animated Christmas
images so I decided to get busy and update our Gallery with hers
and some others I have collected recently.
For Angels, Candles, Doves
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs.html
For Crosses, Hearts, God, And Jesus
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_f-j.html
For Nativity Scenes and New Years
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_k-o.html
For Prayers, Santa, Sledding, and Snow
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html
For Words:Merry (Christmas) and Xmas (all other Christmas related)
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html
~ Thank You Bunni, Jo Ann, Linda and All Who Have Contributed to These!
-<>-
>-->2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This first Hot tottie is from our friends Linda and Bunni. I love
productive ideas that lead to useful things. This page is packed
with just those sort of things. Check it out here...
,-------------.
( I can do... )
`-------------'
O
o
,-.
.:\ '`-.
|:| __ b
`;-(
,' |
( \|||_
,-----(.-''--``-------.
/_______`'______________\
/ SSt\
Thoughts into Action 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action3.html
---
...Thank You Ladies! I love that stairway and the book case!
This next super hot one is from our friend Johanna. I could of
used this home when Paul and I had someone trying to bust in our
door at 1:30 in the morning this last fall! This place is way
over the top secure! Check it out here...
,-~~-.___.
/ ()=(() \
( ( 0
\._\, ,----' CURSE
##XXXxxxxxxx
/ ---'~; YOU
/ /~|-
=( ~~ | RED
/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
/_______________________\ BARON!
/_________________________\
/___________________________\
|____________________|
|____________________|
|____________________| W<
| |
Home Security!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/security.html
---
...Wowsers! My kind of home! Thanks Johanna!
==============================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone: Learning About The World
__T__I___...__7~
,_ `"|-=||==|==|==|
[_`'---...,____|"_||__|__|__|_
| `'---...__PHILOMENA D_______]
jgs~^~-~^-^~^'----~^~---~---------~^---'`~^-^~~^-^~^
A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in
the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"
The father thought for a moment, then replied, "I Don't rightly know,
son."
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his
father, "How do fish breath underwater?"
Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son."
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind
my asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not son. If you don't ask questions,... you'll never
learn anything!"
===============================================================
*------------ More Bizarre December Holidays ------------*
December 11 is National Noodle Ring Day
December 12 is National Ding-A-Ling Day
December 13 is Ice Cream and Violins Day
December 14 is National Bouillabaisse Day
December 15 is National Lemon Cupcake Day
December 16 is National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
December 17 is Underdog Day & National Maple Syrup Day
December 18 is National Roast Suckling Pig Day
December 19 is Oatmeal Muffin Day
December 20 is Games Day
========================================================
>-->This Just In From Our Friend PeggyT :)
,-=-.
[[_ @~]
((a a))
` = '
_.-) (-._
/( ("+") )\
/ \ \./ / \
(==)
\ \- 8| -/ /
\/_> 8|>>___/\_^__/\___<<<
/ ||| \
Mike Hertz
>A Military Christmas
OPERATION ORDER 12-06 FOR OFFICIAL VISIT OF LIEUTENANT GENERAL CLAUS
_
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1. An official staff visit by Lt Gen Claus is expected at this base
on 25 Dec. The following directives govern activities of all personnel
during the visit:
a. Not a creature will stir without permission. This includes Officers,
Warrant Officers, Staff Non-commissioned Officers, Noncommissioned
Officers, and mice. Marines may obtain special stirring permits for
necessary tasks through the Battalion S-1 Office (See Company Office
for PAR).
b. All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap no
later than 2200 hours, 24 Dec. Uniform for the nap will be: pajamas -
cotton - light-weight - general purpose - olive-green; and cap -
battle-dress - utility, DCU or ACU pattern. Equipment will be drawn
from supply prior to 1900 hours. While at supply, all personnel will
review their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash Collection Voucher,
DD Form 1131, for all missing items. Remember that this is the "season
of giving."
c. Personnel will utilize standard "T'-ration sugarplums for visions to
dance in their heads. Sugarplums are available in "T'-ration sundry
packs and should be eaten with egg loaf, chopped ham, and spice cake to
ensure maximum visions are experienced. "T'-ration sundry packs can be
picked up at the Medina Dining Facility (MDFAC) from 0800-1800 24 Dec.
The S-4 will coordinate the acquisition and distribution of the
T-ration sugarplums and accompanying items.
d. Stockings -- wool, cushion sole, olive-green -- will be hung by the
chimneys with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid
fires caused by carelessly hung stockings. Platoon commanders will
submit stocking handling plans to the S-3T, Training Chief, prior to
0800 hours, 24 Dec. All Platoon commanders will ensure their
subordinate personnel attend mandatory stocking-hanging safety classes
and are briefed on the safety aspects of stocking hanging by the Safety
Officer. Stocking Safety will be taught 18 Dec at 1900 in the
conference room of Bldg 321. Stocking Licenses will be issued at that
time. Stockings will be issued out of the pebble shack on a first come
first serve basis from 1400 - 1600 on 19 December.
e. At first sound of clatter, all personnel will spring from their
racks to investigate and evaluate the cause. Immediate action will be
taken to tear open the shutters and throw up the window sashes. On
order, Operations Plan (OPLAN) 7-01 (North Pole Contingency), para
6-8-A9(3), dated 4 Mar, this office, takes effect to facilitate shutter-
yearing and sash-throwing. Platoon Commanders, Platoon Sergeants, and
all Marines of the Guard will be familiar with procedures and are
responsible for seeing that no shutters are torn or sashes thrown in
the barracks prior to the start of official clatter.
f. Prior to 0001 hours, date of visit, all personnel possessing
Standard Target Acquisition and Night Observation (STANO) equipment
will be assigned "wondering eyeball" stations. The Sergeant of the
Guard will ensure that these stations are adequately manned even after
shutters are torn and sashes are thrown.
g. The Company Training Chief, in coordination with the U.S.
Transportation Command (CinC-Trans) and Motor T, will assign one each
Sleigh, Miniature, M-24A3 and eight (8) reindeer, tiny, for use by Lt
Gen Claus. The assigned driver must have a current sleigh operator's
license with rooftop permit and evidence of attendance at the winter
driving class stamped on his Department of Navy Form 348. Driver must
also be able to clearly shout "On, Dancer!" "On, Prancer!", etc.
2. Lt Gen Claus will initially enter Bldg 302 through the front
entryway. All buildings without chimneys will requisition Chimney
Simulator, M6A1, for use during the visit. Request chimney simulator
on Department of Navy Form 2765-1, which will be submitted in four
copies to the Company Gunnery Sergeant prior to 20 Dec. Personnel
will ensure that chimneys are properly cleaned before turn-in at the
conclusion of visit.
3. Personnel will be rehearsed in the shouting of "Merry Christmas and
Happy New Year!" or "Merry Christmas To All, and To All a Good Night!"
This shout will be given upon termination of the visit. Uniformity of
shouting is the responsibility of the Senior Enlisted Marine.
FOR THE COMMANDANT (ByDir)
Herbie,
(Lead Elf, North Pole PAO)
John P. Nolan
USMC F-35 / FA-18 Readiness Analysis
(843)228-7870
DSN 335-7870
---
...AH-HA! So there You Have it! Thank You PeggyT!
The Military gets ready for him so YES, Sandi, There is a Santa! :)
==================================================================
>-->From Our Friend PatDeE :)
.
\ | /
_\|/_
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.'.'|| | ||`----'"` ``'`
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(.'.(___).'.)
`.__.-.__.'
jgs |_| |_|
`.`-'.'
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>And these guys get paid big bucks?
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all
the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins:
"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."
6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."
(Now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height.."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a
circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for
three years, not Princeton.."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my
clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen
of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of
what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an
uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in
January)
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."
15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas
why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."
---
...LOL! Thanks PatDeE!
They may get paid big bucks, but it certainly isn't for their
command of the English Language!
-<>-
I am ... ?
))),,
\__ / ///
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\_- | *RING*
__|__/L_ __________
/ \ / ______ \
(__)][__][(__) utis
/ ,--. \ *RING*
*RING* / '--' \
|________|
>The Phone Call!
An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:
"Where in the Heck Are You ... ?"
Husband:
Darling You Remember That Jewelry Shop?
Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace and Totally Fell In Love With It
and I Didn't Have Money That Time and I said "Baby It'll Be Yours
one Day ... "
Wife, With A Smile, Blushing:
Yeah, I Remember That My Love!
Husband:
Well I'm in The Pub Just Next Door To That Shop . . .
---
...HaHa! Thanks ParDeE!
-<>-
(
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___...(-------)-....___
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/ / | |
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>Two Coffees in Heaven!
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barrack Obama meets a man with a
beard. 'Are you Mohammed?' he asks. 'No my son, I am St. Peter;
Mohammed is higher up.' Peter then points to a ladder that rises into
the clouds.
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter, Obama climbs
the ladder in great strides, climbs up through the clouds and comes
into a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, 'Are
you Mohammed?' 'Why no,' he answers, ‘I am Moses; Mohammed is higher
still.'
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet again,
he discovers a larger room where he meets an angelic looking man with a
beard. Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?' 'No, I am
Jesus, the Christ; you will find Mohammed higher up.'
Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man, oh man! Obama can hardly contain his
delight and climbs and climbs ever higher. Once again, he reaches an
even larger room where he meets this truly magnificent looking man with
a silver white beard and once again repeats his question: 'Are you
Mohammed?' he gasps as he is by now, totally out of breath from all
his climbing. 'No, my son, I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega,
but you look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee?'
Obama says, ‘yes please!' As God looks behind him, he claps his hands
and yells out: 'Hey, Mohammed, two coffees!'
MORAL:
Keep your trust in God; your president will be replaced.
---
...HaHa! Thanks PatDeE!
But I really don't think 'Mohammed' will be upper level anywhere!
-<>-
DO NOT SCROLL ALL THE WAY DOWN GO SLOW AND WORK THE MATH>
..................____________,...............,
/ .-. , ,.--. .-,/_/_/_/_/_/,-', ,. -,-,-- /|
/ / /- // / / ._/_/_/_/,-' // /-| / /-- / /
/ `-' ' '`--' '-'_'/_/_/,-' `-''--' `' '-- / /
/..................'_/_/_,:.................. / /
| .'_|_|_|_; -Shimrod | /
""""""""""""""""" '"""""""""""""""""""'
>YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
Don't tell me your age; you'd probably lie anyway-
but the Hershey Man will know!
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read .
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
___ ___ ___ ___ ___.---------------.
.'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__,` . ____ ___ \
|\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ _:\ |:. \ \___ \
\\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\__\'\_`.__| `. \ \___ \
\\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __: \
\\'\__\'\__\'\__\ \__\'\_;-----------------`
hh \\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ : |
\|______________________;________________|
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you
would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1761.
If you haven't, add 1760.
6.. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are
_____________,-.___ _
|____ { {]_]_] [_]
|___ `-----.__\ \_]_]_ . `
| `-----.____} }]_]_]_ ,
|_____________/ {_]_]_]_] , `
hjw `-'
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
---
...Fun! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
_,-.
.' _ \
,' (_) \_
_.-|`-._ \""--._
.' .-(=._ `-._ \""-. `. What I need is exercise
/ / | `=. `-._\ \ \ And something that will take
| | `-._ `=._ | . | | My mind off all those thoughts of
\ \ ;' .,`--._ `=| ' / / Pie In The Sky' speakers!
`._``--..._____`--'-''_.'
`--.._________..--'
>The Quote of the Decade:
The fact that we are here today to debate raising America 's debt
limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the US
Government cannot pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on
ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our
Government's reckless fiscal policies. Increasing America's debt
weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that,
"the buck stops here.' Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of
bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren.
America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans
deserve better.
~ Senator Barack H. Obama, March 2006!
---
...Yeah, Cool Dude, huh? LOL! Thanks PatDeE!
He must have suffered brain damage in the White House
- Now He forgets half the stuff he knew back then!
-<>-
//_____ __
@ )====// .\___
\#\_\__(_/_\\_/
/ / \\
Jiri Matejicek
>ONE AT A TIME
A physics teacher in high school, once told the students that while one
grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a
billion of them would.
With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a
good American . . .
This probably sounds crazy, but just yesterday I was in Wal Mart
looking for a wastebasket. I found some made in China for $6.99. I
didn't want to pay that much so I asked the lady if they had any others.
She took me to another department and they had some at $2.50 made in
USA . They are just as good.
Same as a kitchen rug I needed. I had to look, but I found some made in
the USA and they were $3.00 cheaper.
We are being brain washed that everything that comes from China and
Mexico is cheaper. Not so. That is also why I don't buy cards at
Hallmark anymore. They are made in China and are expensive. I buy them
at Dollar Tree....50 cents each and made in USA .
Check this out. I can verify this because I was in Lowe's the other day
for some reason and just for the heck of it I was looking at the hose
attachments... They were all made in China .
The next day I was in Ace Hardware and just for the heck of it I
checked the hose attachments there.
They were made in USA .
Start looking ...In our current economic situation, every little thing
we buy or do affects someone else - even their job. So, after reading
this email, I think this lady is on the right track.. Let's get behind
her!
Good idea . . .. One light bulb at a time . . ..
This past weekend I was at Kroger . . . I needed 60W light bulbs and
Bounce dryer sheets.
I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE brand I
normally buy was an off-brand labeled, " Everyday Value ." I picked up
both types of bulbs and compared the stats they were the same except
For the price . . . The GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday
Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that
GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in - get
ready for this - the USA in a company in Cleveland , Ohio .
So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every day
that are made right here...
So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets... Yep, you guessed it,
Bounce cost more money and is made in Canada ... The Everyday Value
brand was less money and MADE IN THE USA! I did laundry yesterday and
the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using
for years and at almost half the price!
My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for
everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA - the
job you save may be your own or your neighbors!
If you accept the challenge, pass this on to others in your address
book so we can all start buying American, one light bulb at a time!
Stop buying from overseas companies!
(We should have awakened a decade ago....)
Let's get with the program and help our fellow Americans keep their
jobs and create more jobs here in the USA .
I passed this on . .. . Will you???
---
...Sure! But that's just me - now I Dare You! Thanks PatDeE!
=================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Bunni :)
."`".
.-./ _=_ \.-. Don't Mind me, I'm
{ (,(oYo),) }} Just the Gorilla in The Room
{{ | " |} }
{ { \(---)/ }}
{{ }'-=-'{ } }
{ { }._:_.{ }}
{{ } -:- { } }
jgs {_{ }`===`{ _}
((((\) (/))))
>Strange Things You Didn't Know
A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it
will digest itself.
The dot over the letter "I" is called a tittle.
A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down
continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2".
During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur," a small red car can be seen in
the distance (and Heston's wearing a watch).
On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! (That
explains a few mysteries....)
Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were
made of wood.
The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in
a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and
silver.
Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space
because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II
killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
Weatherman Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald.
If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly
go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who discovered
this??)
Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to S-l-O-W film down so
you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.
The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the
USA."
The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which
stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your
thumb.
The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for
automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was
Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.
By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink
into quicksand.
Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of
celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike
contest.
An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to
take more than three steps backwards while dancing!
The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most
often stolen from public libraries.
The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!
In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat
his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the
rule of thumb"
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred
and Wilma Flintstone.
Men can read smaller print then women can; women can hear better.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in
the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If
the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed
firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a
month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law
with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because
their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month,
which we know today as the "honeymoon".
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them,
"Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they
used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase
inspired by this practice.
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when
knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
---
...Not sure about all these, but they sound good. Thanks Bunni! :)
========================================================
>-->From our Friend Sandi :)
.------.____
.-' \ ___)
.-' \\\
.-' ___ \\)
.-' / (\ |)
__ \ ( | |
/ \ \__'| | Taxation Without
/ \____).-'
.' / | Due Representation...
/ . / |
.' / \/ | Ready For A Tea Party?
/ / \ |
/ / _|_
\ / /\ /\
\ / /__v__\
' | |
| .#| VK
|#. .##|
|#######|
|#######|
>The IRS sent my Tax Return back
The IRS sent my Tax Return back! AGAIN!!!
I guess it was because of my response to the question:
"List all dependents?"
I replied ...
"12 million illegal immigrants;
"3 million crack heads;
"42 million unemployable people on food stamps,
"2 million people in over 243 prisons;
"Half of Mexico and
"535 fools in the U.S. House and Senate.”;
Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
---
...LMAO! Thanks Sandi!
===============================================================
>-->In The Worldly News :)
[Politics]
>From Our Friend PatDeE :)
Thought you might find this interesting. More government
disinformation...not really a lie...but nowhere near the truth!
The Numbers Lie
http://tinyurl.com/7zz9brm
---
...Yep - Most Interesting! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
This is really sad. These simple people really believe that the
government is, or will be, responsive to their concerns. They
metaphorically shoot arrows into the air instead of targeting congress
(who have been the real culprits for over fifty years!) Half of these
bundled-up protestors can't create a cogent sentence; haven't the
faintest idea how money works;or understand history. Hitler provided
millions of 'jobs' when his situation was similar. His effort was
called WWII !
Occupy Delhi: Why they're protesting
http://www.brasschecktv.com/page/5593.html
---
...Sad indeed! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
THE CHRISTMAS GRINCH REVISITED
http://tinyurl.com/87y3tvy
---
...Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
TAX TRUTH FROM "MOMENT OF CLARITY" - EXCELLENT READ
http://www.timnerenz.com/2011/11/tax-truth.html
---
...Another Good read! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
>From The TeaParty:
I Am the Tea Party!
http://tinyurl.com/6sev2fg
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
*-- Oldest living dog dead at 26 --*
SAKURA, Japan - The Japanese owner of the canine certified as the
world's oldest living dog by Guinness World Records said the dog has
died at the age of 26 years, 9 months. Yumiko Shinohara of Sakura said
Pusuke, a male crossbreed, died Monday afternoon after refusing to eat
in the morning and appearing to have difficulty breathing, Kyodo News
reported Thursday. Shinohara said Pusuke died only a few minutes after
she arrived home from running errands. "I think (Pusuke) waited for me
to come home," she said. The dog, which had aged to the equivalent of
125 years in human terms, was certified in December 2010 as the world's
oldest living dog.
*-- Police seek 'Chewbacca' gunman --*
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. - Police in Florida said they were searching for
a man who wore a Chewbacca mask when he and a pair of young men were
involved in a shooting. West Palm Beach Police said they responded to a
report of a shooting Nov. 30 and a woman who witnessed the incident
said the Chewbacca-masked shooter was driving a car with two men --
later identified as Jodeci Lamar Window, 19, and Mario Johnson, 21 --
when they pulled up to a home and began shooting at Kyle Roney, the
South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Thursday. The witness said Roney,
who was on the front stairs of a home and was not injured, is suspected
by a local gang of being involved in a drug theft. Police said Roney
did not cooperate with the investigation. The woman said the shooters
drove off when a man she identified as "Saint" returned fire. The
witness picked Window and Johnson, who were not masked, out of a photo
lineup. They were arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a
deadly weapon.
-- Wife: Bank told hubby about account ------------
NEW YORK - A New York woman has sued her bank for letting
slip to her husband that she had $800,000 in an account
in her own name. Nazita Aminpour, a dentist, says in legal
papers that the Chase bank branch in Kew Gardens, Queens,
violated federal privacy laws, the New York Post reports.
She said her husband, David Shamash, nagged her about the
money until she gave him $155,000 in March 2008 to save
her marriage. The couple had a joint account at the branch
along with custodial accounts for their children. But
Shamash was not aware that Aminpour had a large account
in her own name until a bank employee called him and
suggested that the money be moved out of a low-interest
account to something with a higher return. Aminpour wants
Chase to reimburse the $155,000 and to pay her legal
bills. A bank statement included in the lawsuit filing
shows she now has more than $1 million in the account,
the report said.
-- Ball protest bounces wrong way for Italian --------
ROME - A man received an eight-month suspended jail
sentence Monday for rolling a half million or so colored
balls down Rome's famed Spanish Steps. Graziano Cecchini,
54, was convicted of disrupting bus services with his
January 2008 stunt, which he described as a protest against
dishonest politicians of all parties, ANSA reported.
Cecchini criticized the outcome of his trial, the Italian
news agency said. "What sort of interruption of service
could there possibly have been? The Piazza di Spagna
(Spanish Steps) is a pedestrian area. There wasn't any
crime, only a pop-art event," he said. Vittorio Sgarbi,
a prominent Italian art critic and former culture chief
of Milan, praised Cecchini's effort, saying "anarchy is
a typical feature of contemporary art."
-- Fire starts with spider chase -------------
PORTSMOUTH, England - British firefighters say a man set
fire to the front of his house trying to kill a spider
with a lighter. Firefighters said they arrived at the
Portsmouth, England, home and found the man attempting
to put out the flames with a garden hose, The Daily
Telegraph reported. "The whole thing had clearly scared
the life out of him," watch manager Steve Pearce said.
"There was a gap in the cladding where he was trying to
kill the spider and so the sparks got through to the
material behind and started spreading upward toward the
roof." Pearce said firefighters spent about two hours
extinguishing the blaze. "Surprisingly there wasn't much
damage to the house other than to the cladding," he said.
"We obviously had a chat with the man but I don't think
he'll be doing this again."
==============================================================
>-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :)
. .
) (
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _(.--.)
{{ { { { { { { { { { { ( '_')
jgs >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>`--'>
>The Talking Centipede
A single guy decided life would be more fun
If he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner
that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede,
(100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use
for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box,
and decided he would start off by taking his new pet
to church with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go
to church with me today? We will have a good time."
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes
And then asked again, "How about going to church with
me and receive blessings?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited A few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and
shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with
me and learn about God?"
... YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS ....
This time,
A little voice
Came out of the box,
"I heard you the first time!
I'm just putting on my shoes!"
---
...TeeHee! a Classic! Thanks Jo Ann!
-<>-
\\ /////
| |
(| _ _ |)
|` | '|
| __ |
>>>___/\_^__/\___<<<
/ ||| \
Mike Hertz
>Just Stay
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.
"Your son is here," she said to the old man.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes
opened.
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw
the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached
out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old
man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.
All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted
ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and
strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away
and rest awhile.
He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was
oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking
of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging
greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said
nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now
lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she
did what she had to do, he waited.
Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but
the Marine interrupted her.
"Who was that man?" he asked.
The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.
"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my
life."
"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"
"I knew right away there had been a mistake,
but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here.
When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was
his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed."
I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey.
His Son was Killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to
inform him. What was this Gentleman's Name?
The Nurse with Tears in Her Eyes Answered,
Mr. William Grey.............
The next time someone needs you ... just be there. Stay.
**************
WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A
TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE.
WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
PLEASE PASS THIS ONE ON AND GOD WILL BLESS YOU!
THIS IS WHAT WE ARE PUT ON THIS EARTH TO DO ANYWAY. RIGHT ?
HAVE A GREAT DAY AND BLESS SOMEONE ELSE IN SOME LITTLE WAY TODAY!
GOD IS SO GOOD.
---
...Amen! Thanks Jo Ann!
====================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
+
|
/\\
| ||
-----| |/\
/ \
------/ ^^ \
O O | || |
| || |
-------------
unknown
A preacher of the old school was describing the events of
Judgement Day and, of course, he used Biblical phraseology
whenever he could.
"Oh, my friends," he intoned, "imagine the suffering of the
sinners as they find themselves cast into the outer darkness,
removed from the presence of the Lord and given to eternal
flames. My friends, at such a time there will be weeping,
wailing and a great gnashing of teeth!"
At this point, one of the elders of the congregation inter-
rupted to say, "But Reverend, what if one of those hopeless
sinners has no teeth?"
The preacher crashed his fist on the pulpit, "My friends,
the Lord is not put out by details. Rest assured... teeth
will be provided!"
-<>-
As the woman was instructing the new maid on the great care
required in handling certain valuable household objects. She
pointed to the dining room and said with great satisfaction,
"That table goes back to Louis the Fourteenth."
"Oh, that's nothing," the maid interjected. "My whole living-
room set goes back to Sears the fifteenth."
-<>-
Even with a thousand games, dolls and crafts to choose from,
my customer at the toy store still couldn't find a thing for
her grandson.
"Maybe a video or something educational?" I asked.
"No, that's not it," she said.
We wandered the aisles until something caught her eye: a
laser gun with flashing lights and 15 different high-pitched
sounds.
"This is perfect," she said, beaming. "My daughter-in-law
will hate it."
-<>-
, .
( )
\ /
\. ./
\\ //
\\ //
\`-'/ CJ
`-'
After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season
with his slingshot, the court clerk suggested setting up a
date for him to return with both the money for the fine and
proof of community service.
"That way," she said innocently, "you can kill two birds
with one stone."
-<>-
My new girlfriend, Karen, got a job at a local hardware
store. "The owner doesn't want us hanging out with our
friends," she said. "If you stop by, tell them you're my
brother."
On my first visit I walked to the customer service desk
and asked the older woman there, "Is Karen around?" When
she looked at me quizzically, I added, "I'm her brother."
She smiled. "What a nice surprise. I'm Karen's mother."
-<>-
Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome
of the Insurance policy with the man at the Insurance Agency.
During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life
insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What
will I get?"
The agent eyed her suspiciously and replied, "Probably 20 to
life."
-<>-
...
{@} * {@}
{@} * {@} * {@}
: * {@} * {@} * .;
{@} * {@} * {@} * {@}
* ; * ; {@} * ; * :
;\ \ \ \| / / /;
\\ \ Y/ / /
`_\ |/ _'
/ \\Y// \
( ,-}={-, )
\_//((\_/
//))(\
(/ ))
((
valkyrie \)
When she got flowers from her husband on Valentine's Day,
my daughter's friend quickly opened the card. All it said
was "No." What did that mean?
She called her husband, who said, "I didn't attach any
message. The florist asked if I had a message and I said,
'No.'"
-<>-
After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs,
she was excited to discover she no longer needed to rewind or
fast-forward tapes or move the needle on her record player.
Knowing she was not that technically astute, I called her a
few days later to see how she was managing. "Fine. I listened
to Shania Twain this morning," she said.
"The whole CD?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "just one side."
=========================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
Did you swear the witness
in Ralf?
\ `,
___ #
|/ ?
Well, he Was swearing... | , )\
/ /__/\ \____ #####
,- / \_/ \ _/_ ####
/\,_\ |/| / < _____ _> \ [.[.]-=##
) "\ -|.|--/___/ ,___/___\- /_ )#
\ ___Y. _____'-'______|\/______________ |__ #
__)/ [_______________________________] \___/
/) \ | | .'\$/\`-.
/|| .| | _...._ | ( `.Y.' ( )
__;_||__|_______| ,-' ALT. '-_ |____|:__o___|_|_
[________________| / ASCII- \ |________________]
| | | _ _ART ____. | |
| Balif | | / / \| ||_)| | | |
| RALF | \\_\_/|_|| \|/ | |
____| | -_ ,- | |____
| | `-...,-' | |
| | | |
|_______________|_____________________________|_______________|
/ /
/ / /
/ Taken from original
/ / typing by b'ger
/ and David Palmer's art
________________________________________________________________________
Phrase origin: The Third Degree
The phrase comes from freemasonry. A Third-Degree or Master Mason
highest rank had to submit to questioning. This dates to at least 1772.
The idea that the Masons' testing was an ordeal became fixed in the
public mind. By 1880 the term became used for any long and arduous
questioning or interrogation. Around the turn of the 20th century, it
began to be applied exclusively to the police. The idea of a brutal
interrogation being called the third degree was no doubt helped along
by association with a third-degree burn.
-<>-
>Married Couple...
“Sweetie, you see that elderly couple at the end of the counter?”
“Yeah, what about them?”
“I was thinking that’s probably what we’ll look like in ten years.”
“You do realize that’s a mirror at the end of the counter?”
-<>-
)/_
(' \
/) )
---/'-""---
)/_
-
>Tip...
Always keep several
Get well cards on the mantle...
So if unexpected guests arrive,
they will think you've been sick
and unable to clean!
-<>-
After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Dewey mailed off an
enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer.
Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton in the
middle of the floor. Inside were free samples of the many products the
same company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth paste, and paper
items... with a "thank you" note from the manufacturer.
"Well, what do you think?" asked his smiling wife, Olga.
"I think that next time," Dewey replied. "I'm writing to Toyota."
-<>-
.======================================.
| ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ |
| \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| |
| _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| |
'===================================== ,sSSSs
DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "(
.:. SSS@ =/ \~/
C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_
___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.-
[____________________________________] \ /\//
| ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/
| (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ;
| | | | | | | | | | |____|
| | | | | | | | | | \ |\
| | | | | | | | | | ) ) )
| |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/
| I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ |
jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\
Y\_\
A man walks into a bar in Chicago in the afternoon and orders three
scotches. Not one after the other, but all three at once. The bartender
is a little puzzled by this unusual request, but he doesn’t say
anything and gives the man what he wants. The man drinks them down one
by one, pays the bill, and leaves. The next day he comes back at five
o’clock and orders the same thing. Three scotches all at once. And the
day after that, for weeks.
Finally, curiosity gets the better of the barman. “I don’t mean to be
nosy, but you’ve been in here every day for the past two weeks ordering
your three scotches, and I’d just like to know why. Most people take
them one at a time.”
“Ah,” the man says, “the answer is very simple. I have two brothers.
One of them lives in New York, one in San Francisco and the three of us
are very close. As a way of honoring our friendship, we all go into a
bar at five in the afternoon, silently toasting one another’s health,
pretending that we’re all together in the same place.”
The barman nods, understanding the reason for this strange ritual.
The business goes on for another four months. Then something happens.
The man shows up at his regular hour one afternoon, but this time he
orders only two scotches. The bartender is worried, and after a while
he gets the courage to ask. “I don’t mean to be nosy, but every day for
five months you’ve come in here and ordered three scotches. Now you
order two. I just hope nothing’s wrong with your family.”
“Nothing’s wrong,” the man says, as chipper as ever.
”What is it then?”
”It’s very simple,” the man says. “I’ve stopped drinking.”
-<>-
>Dumbest kid in the world?
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to
his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch
while I play this game with him."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in
the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you
want, son?"
The boy looks and takes the two quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never
learns!"
Later, the customer leaves and he sees the same young boy
coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son, may I ask you a
question? Why do you take the quarters instead of the dollar
bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take
the dollar, the game's over!"
-<>-
######
##########
###### _\_
##===----[.].]
#( , _\ What did she say?
# )\__|
\ /
`-._``-'
>@
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
dp/VK |
|
|
>It’s Easy to Communicate with Each Other
By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND TENJOOBERRYMUDS...
In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need
to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following
conversation until you are able to understand the term
'TENJOOBERRYMUDS'.
With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in with the growing
trend!!!
Now, here goes...
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and
room-service:
Room Service (RS): 'Morrin. Roon sirbees.'
Guest (G): 'Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.'
RS: ' Rye. Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???'
G: 'Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.'
RS: 'Ow July den?'
G: '.....What??'
RS: 'Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?'
G: 'Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry... scrambled, please.'
RS: 'Ow July dee baykem? Crease?'
G: 'Crisp will be fine.'
RS: 'Hokay. An Sahn toes?'
G: 'What?'
RS: 'An toes. July Sahn toes ?'
G: 'I... don't think so'
RS: 'No? Judo wan sahn toes???'
G: 'I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn
toes' means.'
RS: 'Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we
bodder?'
G: 'Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine.'
RS: 'We bodder?'
G: 'No, just put the bodder on the side.'
RS: 'Wad?!?'
G: 'I mean butter... just put the butter on the side.'
RS: 'Copy?'
G: 'Excuse me?'
RS: 'Copy...tea...meel?'
G: 'Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything.'
RS: 'One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder
on sigh and copy.. rye??'
G: 'Whatever you say.'
RS: 'Tenjooberrymuds.'
G: 'You're welcome.'
-<>-
>Top 7 Signs Your Pastor Needs a Vacation
7. His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are "All
right, listen up you heathens..."
6. He falls asleep during his own sermon.
5. He shows up for Sunday service wearing Bermuda Shorts and a Tank Top.
4. Every time his pager goes off, he shouts, "Why can't they just leave
me alone?!"
3. Announces baptismal services will be at the Grand Canyon.
2. You go to his office for counseling and pour your heart out to him
and he says, "Sounds like a personal problem to me."
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOUR PASTOR NEEDS A VACATION
1. For the past two months he has preached the same sermon every
Sunday.
-<>-
_______
/ /
|_______|
( O O )
{'-(_)-'}
.-{ ^ }-.
/ '.___.' \
/ | o | \
|__| o |__|
(((\_________/)))
\___|___/
jgs.--' | | '--.
\__._| |_.__/
There I was on my way to Wal-Mart... getting into a fight was the
farthest thing from my mind ... wasn't even on the horizon ... I was
in a great mood ... and then ... I rear-ended a car.
So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of
the car ... and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff
seems to get funny?
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it ... he was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says,
"I AM NOT HAPPY!"
So, I look down at him and said, "Well, which one are you then?"
............. and that's when the fight started.
====================================================================
>-->Fun Places To Net Visit :)
Just Thinking...
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thinking.html
Jobs That Suck!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobs.html
Lion Cub Rescue!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lionrescue.html
Right Angle Photography!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/anglephoto.html
Mini Baby Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/baby.html
Luxury Yacht
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/luxyacht.html
Men Wil Be Boys!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html
Bailey's Jesus!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bailey.html
Disney Christmas
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneychristmas.html
Redneck Christmas Tree
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/redneck.html
Christmas With Pets
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmaspets.html
Amazing Grace
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazinggrace.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend PatDeE :)
He sent us one we have here...
Parenting No-No's
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting.html
Parenting No-No's #2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting2.html
Parenting No-No's #3
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting3.html
---
...Funny Reminders! Thanks PatDeE!
Flying!
http://www.twaseniorsclub.org/Oshkosh.html
---
...Cool Air Show! Thanks PatDeE!
Leaving your computer on overnight:
http://tinyurl.com/37s6xo
---
...LOL! Good One! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Wesley :)
Ripped : email marketing and email list manager
http://goo.gl/dBFdv
ripped : book creator - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://goo.gl/OGW3O
FLAC To MP3 converter - Free till Christmas !
http://www.flacmp3.net/giveaway.html
---
...Good useful ones! Thanks Wesley!
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
Deep Sheep
http://www.buffaloschips.com/Goldfish%20Sink.htm
How Could You?
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30706.htm
Dirty Sneakers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jdj.htm
Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/89uy.htm
Dog In Trance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/t43e.htm
Don't Eat While Driving
http://www.buffaloschips.com/t54.htm
Energy Star
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gre3.htm
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
* NOTE: Buffalo emailed me - It seems he has been
having some serious health issues and has been bedridden.
Please be patient with the group LynnLynn's links. Please also
put Buffalo on your prayer list.
~ Thank You And May God Bless You As You Do! :)
==============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"A woman in Britain said that her pet goldfish survived for
seven hours in the open air outside of his tank, which is a
world record — for goldfish torture. In the fish world,
that's known as 'airboarding.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"Today is Pancake Day, the day that we remember and pay
tribute to all of the pancakes that have died in my stomach."
-Jimmy Kimmel
"Police in North Carolina are looking for a pregnant woman
who attempted to rob a bank at gunpoint. FBI sketch artists
have just released a sonogram. Be careful everyone she is
armed and lactating." -Jimmy Fallon
"There's an asteroid heading toward the earth and we're all
going to die. There is! Scientists are saying there's a 1
in 45,000 chance of an asteroid hitting the earth in 2036.
Now an asteroid is a giant rock. It's headed toward the
earth. We should send up a giant piece of paper. We couldn't
send scissors; that would be impractical." -Craig Ferguson
"According to Newsweek, they've now come out with the carbon
diet. An environmentally friendly diet that reduces green-
house gases. Let me tell you something. If your diet is so
bad that you are causing global warming... just stay out of
Taco Bell." -Jay Leno
"PETA was outside the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show last
night protesting. They want the dogs to stop wearing fur."
-David Letterman
"People in L.A. don't eat cereal, because they don't like
sugar because it's bad for you. It's OK to inject botulism
into your face, but not to eat sugar!" -Craig Ferguson
One day our descendants will think it incredible that we paid
so much attention to things like the amount of melanin in our
skin or the shape of our eyes or our gender instead of the
unique identities of each of us as complex human beings.
- Franklin Thomas
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
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http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
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-->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN
HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
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-->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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