David Bowie Spins On a Dime

Something in my Non-PA life didn’t work out. Very sad. Time to grieve. Again with so many other things, so many other times in my life.

My Addiction for alcohol has done a total 180 degrees! I’d been away for a long time from the Group Sessions. That was due to yet another hospitalization from Pneumonia.

That was the fourth time back to Isolation. Fevers so high, I could die! Fun stuff.

Although this fourth time, I was admitted to Respiratory Department. But after discharge, Sweetie GP said there was nothing we could do was bedrest (again!) until I felt better. That was about a month.

So a long time away from the Addition Program! Now things have changed and not to my liking.

No more Group. As in you, or people, get together and talk. I’ve always hated those things but surprisingly, this time I liked it. Great.

After spending enough time there, the next step was to have your doctor fill out a very large form. That was to begin the Inpatient Program in hospital. Some people do it Outpatient but Sweetie GP and I know I must go Inpatient.

I must start this now if the Group Sessions aren’t happening anymore. God, one of the questions on the form is if I can stay sober for a week. I can’t. If I can’t, I get tossed into Detox first.

And how fucked up is this? They say they will taper you off benzos. Excuse me. Benzos are “generally” used in Detox to calm your freakin’ ass down?

Unless maybe you’re addicted to benzos. That would make sense for a taper.

Well, there’s a huge FUCK YOU CAVEAT for me. I’ll push it to the limit everywhere if I have to. They can’t take away and of your medically prescribed drugs. I take Valium!

prn, mind you but if I need it, I need it. I’ve Detoxed at home and I get so screwy, I forget to take it when it calms me down. I also need it for insomnia.

I seem to have gotten a little riled up here. Don’t you think? There’s more I can say that are maybe positive. Maybe?

CODA: I saw my Therapist today and have never been so Aspie spazzy EVER. Foetal ball in waiting room uncontrollably bawling, lying on the kid’s bed holding a Teddy Bear crying for the appointment. Then stimming like a volcano on Accessible Transit on the way home.