TO BURP OR NOT TO BURP

I guess I could write this blog ahead of time. But I don’t. It would betray the surprise for me about what I want to write. I do think about it. This week I planned to write about ‘staying on your own path’ and I will later because it is an active thought for me.

But here is my burp. I just wrote my former husband a letter. I had super indigestion about it and just had to ‘burp’ it. Seriously, I felt compelled. It is June 11th and today would have been our 53rd wedding anniversary. We were married for 13 years and had two children. We have had very little contact over the years. There are many reasons for that–mostly hurt on my side and maybe guilt on his. I don’t know. I find myself being fond of the youth we shared together. We were young once– and innocent. We started our marriage in the Peace Corps. A newpaper photographed us with the title, “Saving the World from Communisn”. That’s the kind of youthful innocence I’m talking about.

I visited my former mother-in-law last week-end along with my daughter and hers and it was just right to do. She is 97 and gorgeous. Check it out on my Facebook page JoyceWS. We have stayed connected and she loves and flirts with my husband David. David and I were lucky to have all grandparents of the kids like the idea of a combined family of five kids. They were nuts too.

The visit was long enough to elicit lots of good memories and history. I had periodically thought of a more complete resolution of my former marriage but you just try five kids and a demanding job and try to think of gathering energy and goodwill to do it!!

Here is the only sentence that matters in the letter and that I want to share. “I want to move into the present tense with peace and love for all of us and our history.” That’s it. It is my present truth that was nagging at me and needed to be spoken. It so clears the clutter of past wrongs and hurts. Now if I only could and would do the same with the physical clutter of the same number of years!!!