As I was working through Day 21 and Day 22 of FLOW #30dayjournal project I accepted that Living Well with Arachnoiditis means developing a delicate balance between the decision to Fight or Flee. My natural inclination is to FIGHT! against the injustice that allows arachnoiditis to occur…to FIGHT! against any threat to those I love…to FIGHT! against the arachnoiditis-related threats to my independence…

FIRST GENERAL ORDER OF THE U.S. ARMY: “I will guard everything within the limits of my post and quit my post only when properly relieved.” I am pretty sure that I believed this mantra even BEFORE I joined the Army. Active duty just made it stronger.

“Adjust to the object and you will find your way around or through it.”

Artwork by Zenpencils.com by artist Gavin Aung Than from Day 22

As I mature, I am beginning to realize that there are ways to “guard” the intangible valuables of our lives without active, physically and emotionally exhausting aggression. To Survive and Live Well we must choose our battles carefully. Save our resources for the battles that matter and fight at a pace that will NOT conquer our inner strength.

Apathy is the enemy of progress but, being geared toward constant combat will be the death of me. I can’t/won’t be the doormat under the boots of corruption but ammo explodes to its demise after its launched into the fray. The Happy Place lies somewhere in the middle.

Fighting for and maintaining my happiness and the happiness of those around me must always be my priority. The other battles, although very important, are secondary and require a support team.

if you struggle with feeling good (~Lisa Sonora)

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”— Elizabeth Gilbert, from Eat, Pray, Love

Don’t give up. For the sake of happiness, be selective. Perhaps it is best to avoid the lonely fights that trap and bind us at the bottom of the ocean. Unite the forces which breathe life into our efforts. ~slk

“Ferdinand ran to the middle of the ring and everyone shouted and clapped because they thought he was going to fight fiercely and butt and snort and stick his horns around. But not Ferdinand. When he got to the middle of the ring he saw the flowers in all the lovely ladies’ hair and he just sat down quietly and smelled.”

Ferdinand Flowing in Flowers

ART ACTIVITY #19

Expanding on the FLOW suggestions from the Day 22 post,

Step 1: Reflect on the most difficult battle you are fighting today, this week, this month, this year.

Step 2: In your journal or on another surface, cut, paste, draw, paint a representation of this battle.

Step 3: Find the music that comforts you during this struggle.

Step 4: Listen to this music as you draw a symbol of yourself flowing peacefully in and around the structures and obstacles of this combat zone to come out the other side in one piece.