7 Types Of Kids You’ll Find At Chuck E. Cheese’s

The bomber will spend 75% of his time lurking around the ball pit trying to make friends. Everyone knows that the ball pit smells like a box old road kill, but this doesn’t faze the bomber. He/She will bounce around all day ignoring the smell and continue to do the same belly flop in the same area for hours. My theory is that the Ball Pit Bomber is secretly the one who drops a deuce and blames the smell on the randoms who enter his layer.

Six. Tommy Tickets

This is the coolest kid at the birthday party. No matter what game he touches, he will win. With only so many coins this kid makes it rain tickets when he goes to cash in. He usually walks away with that toy you always wanted, damn you Tommy Tickets.

Five. The Chuck-E Chaser

This freak claims he’s Chuck E’s biggest fan. He can’t wait to see him and talks about the trip all week long. He knows all the songs and where everything is located. As soon as The Chaser walks in he’s going nuts looking for Chuck E, and once the oversized mouse appears, this kid wont leave his side until he gets at least seven pictures.

Four. Skee Ball Bandits

These are bad ass boys of the birthday party. They’ve done this mission every time they’ve enter the casa de Chuck-E. The bandits usually consist of three or four members, and even they can’t beat Tommy Tickets. One member is the climber, his job is to catch the balls thrown to him and shove them down the bulls-eye as fast as he can. The second is the tosser, this guy’s objective is to get the skee ball’s up to the climber as fast as possible. This risky mission would be no where with out the look outs. The look outs hang out at the corners to make sure no authority is coming to ruin there culture.

Three. Paulie The Pizza Pirate

This chubbadoo will eat pizza until he passes out. He came for one reason and one reason only….the pizza pleys. Every kid is out playing in the arcade or pley pen, meanwhile Paulie is balls deep in two pepperonis and one cheese. Somebody get this kid a salad, maybe even two.

Two. George The Worm

NO ONE LIKES GEORGE THE WORM!

He wasn’t even invited to the party. This charles showed up alone because he has no friends. He tries to mix his way in the ball pit or pley pen, then follows the crowd while they’re enjoying they’re time. George is the type of kid who runs our of coins early and will proceed to worm off you and your pal’s coins for the rest of the evening. Go home worm.

One. The Like Mike

Imagine if Larry Bird and Michael Jordan had a baby….it’s basically this kid, or at least thats what him and his parents think. He’l spend all of his parents time and money playing the basketball game for four hours. He claims its practice, I claim he’s a geach.

Honorable Mention:

Gluten Free Greg – This kid bitches all day long because he can’t even enjoy one slice of the pizza. I feel for him, how can one go to Chuck E Chezz’s with out getting the pizza? Poor Gluten Free Greg, he always has the worst time.

Race Car Randy – This is where you’ll find the next Jeff Gordon. He plants his ass on any open race seat he can find, and tears up that track until the Chuck E Cheese theme song comes on for the second time (He was too zoned out to hear the first one). This kid doesn’t even drive automatic, he goes manual….just for the burgahs.