Opinions, enthusiasms, staircase wit.

February 8, 2008

ben folds and dirty words

Chances are that you were a passing fan of Ben Folds, until he got on your nerves. You tried to resist his Elton John charms, but a couple "give me back my black T-shirt"s later, you were kind of hooked. But then, the disc fell out of rotation, and then there was something about Australia, and then, boy, those were the days, huh? Chapel Hill sure sounded like a fun place to grow up.

February 7, 2008

no, i'm not a parent yet

So, some dude goes to his wife's workplace and shoots her. Terrible, of course, but not exactly beyond the pale these days (or historically, for that matter). Unfortunately, the wife's workplace is a school, which then brings the proportionate response:

The school and another Catholic school nearby were locked down, said Deacon Tom Berg, vice chancellor of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Columbus.

"We are mobilizing our crisis team and sending them down," Berg said.

Public schools also were put on lockdown, said Superintendent Jan Broughton, who oversees the community's public schools.

So, the schools are locked down in case other teachers' husbands get the same idea? They need to pull the schoolchildren out of the line of fire of tragically failed marriages?

And how come no one's talking about newstrucks? Shouldn't the school district be issuing a desperate plea for a town full of newstrucks? How can these bullet-ducking second-graders begin their healing process if they are not being nationally televised?

February 6, 2008

did he really say super duper tuesday?

I don't know about you guys, but I've having some fun watching the smart guys
struggle to
slap a narrative
on last night's
Super Duper Tuesday -- why won't those pesky primaries resolve in accordance with the rules of Aristotelian dramatic structure? Why all the endless rising action? Where's my damn dénouement?

The lesson I learned from Super Duper Tuesday is that, next time it happens, I'm throwing a party. No use in wasting a night glued to the teevee -- we stood to gain from a few scallops wrapped in bacon and a couple red wine stains on the throw rug. What's not to share about Mike Huckabee running for Exalted Ruler of an Elks Lodge, or Mitt Romney wondering if he could only be a little more opportunistic, maybe he'd have more delegates?

But I do agree: "We are the ones we have been waiting for" (as spoken by Sen. Obama) was the line of the fucking night.

advance apologies to the ocd'ed among you

I don't know if you can have a slow news day in the world of food journalism -- maybe they call it something like laundry day? -- but today's NYT Dining In/Dining Out section is a glaring example of it.

February 5, 2008

mitt romney: more grist for the punchline

Just in case we won't have Mitt Romney to kick around anymore after today (which is not yet universally accepted), I'd like to bring to your attention the kicker from the obligatory
feature on Romney in today's NYTimes:

andy rooney and i don't like voting

Usually I like to cheer up everyone's election day with some version of, "If you don't vote, you don't get to bitch." This stands true on primary election day -- if you want to have some ground to stand on when you become displeased with the ascendancy of Barack/Hillary, then you should vote, even if you are in a state that seems wrapped up (like here in New York). In a tight race like this, the popular vote will count for something, plus also why waive your bitching rights?

Now I voted this morning, so I get to bitch: based on my experience at my local polling center, I would much rather go through an infinite number of McDonald's drivethrus and order an infinite number of Big Macs, hold the lettuce, extra pickles, and is there soy in the mustard you use? The two volunteers for my precinct were nice enough -- so nice, in fact, that it took three or four minutes of my ahem-ing to interrupt their very deep conversation. Unfortunately, I must have been the first voter (!?!), as signing me in and allowing me in the booth took consultation both with whatever instruction manual they have and some other volunteers more adept at the election process.

I did not enjoy it, no. Though maybe the voting experience should suck rocks, so that the voting right will only be exercised by committed individuals. Ah, there I go, with my anti-populism.

Overall, it's astonishing that an election can be fixed, as it seems that, with the quality of the volunteers, it can barely be pulled off in the first place.

February 4, 2008

just what is that feeling you're feeling, bill belichick?

Rooting for the New York Football Giants (on a one-time, non-precedential basis) has left me a fuzzy kind of exhausted -- I'm not used to having the team I'm pulling for come through in such dramatic fashion. It was especially weird jumping up and down for Eli Manning in light of whatever-teen years ago, sitting in my Rochester living room, rooting for the Bills, watching Scottie Norwood's kick go just wide, and wondering just exactly how that happened and why I felt so woozy. And so the circle turns, or whatever mystical crap you want to apply.

I toyed with the idea of a cease-fire on my NE Pats hatred, as I thought that Belichick was beginning to class it up a little. Turns out that's one groundhog that
didn't see his shadow after all.

Thanks, just needed to get the football out. It was a hell of a game, if you go for such things.