This blog is devoted to stuff that white people like

#112 Hummus

When it comes to food, all white people are either allergic to/or have stopped eating everything you consider delicious. It’s a good idea to come to grips with the concept, because it will save you a lot of headaches.

But when white people come to your house, you are forced to deal with the problem in a very real, very immediate sense. You will be trapped with their dietary restrictions and they will be trapped with the contents of your kitchen. You can mediate this situation by stocking your pantry with dozens of complicated and expensive snacks. Or you could take the easy way out and just buy a tub of hummus.

All white people like hummus. In fact, if you find a white person who does not like hummus then they probably just haven’t tasted it or they are the wrong kind of white person. In either case, they are probably not someone that you want to know.

Putting out a plate of hummus and pita makes white people very comfortable. It reminds them of home since at any given time a white person has hummus in their fridge. Even the most barren white refrigerator will have a package of the stuff next to an empty Brita filter.

White people are also relieved when they see hummus because they recognize the contents immediately.

Though you would never be able to guess it by their actions, white people are very concerned with perceived as “annoying” or “that guy” who has to ask about the ingredients of everything they eat. However great their concern over this, they are still more afraid of being “that guy” that eats High Fructose Corn Syrup or pork.

Familiarize yourself with this information as it will play itself out every time you try to pick a restaurant with a white person.

You: “Let’s get Chinese food”White Person #1: “Um, yeah, last time I was there I tried to ask the waitress if they used any pork stock in the preparation of the vegetables and she didn’t really give me a response that makes me comfortable eating there again.”

By providing your guests with a plate of hummus, you can guarantee that you won’t have to have this infuriating conversation in your own home. But that doesn’t mean you are safe. To cover all your bases, it is always a good idea keep some Gluten free crackers in your pantry.

That way if you bring out a plate of hummus and pita and discover that one of the white people cannot eat gluten, then you are ready to pull off a truly incredible move.

First, pretend not to understand why the person cannot eat wheat. Then go back to the kitchen and return with the gluten-free crackers. Everyone will be impressed by your ability to psych out people with food allergies.

Wait one week and relive the story with different white people, it will make them laugh and secretly wish to be invited to your next hummus eating party.

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Love your site, but I gotta call you out on this one. Hummus is loved by hundreds of millions of “brown” people all over the middle east.

If you want to make the differentiation of what white people like, you have to emphasize that KH-OO-MOOSE is what we eat in the middle east, while HUH-MISS is what white people eat with their gluten-free crackers.

Living as I do in a small town up in the mountains in the Basque Country I am devastated to discover that I cannot buy hummus. Apparently this particular white person preference has not made it here yet.. Actually, come to think of it I can’t buy sun-dried tomatoes here either, which was a very big white person thing back in Sydney in the late 90s.

i FINALLY know what to have in my fridge now!!! i’ve never had so much trouble with having people over for dinner, i’ve nearly stopped all together. or i only have people over for pad-thai. #1 fave thai food for white ppl. #2 is green chicken curry.

eotw, “khoomoos” is what Israelis (the white people of the Middle East) eat. It’s hummus (with emphatic H and S) in Arabic and humus in Turkish. But you’re right that hundreds of billions of brown Middle Easterners eat it.

Years ago I served hummus to a white friend at my house; she had never had it before and thought it was “exotic.” I guess she was the wrong kind of white person.

eotw, “khoomoos” is what Israelis (the white people of the Middle East) eat. It’s hummus (with emphatic H and S) in Arabic and humus in Turkish. But you’re right that hundreds of millions of brown Middle Easterners eat it.

Years ago I served hummus to a white friend at my house; she had never had it before and thought it was “exotic.” I guess she was the wrong kind of white person.

Oddly, the ‘won’t eat anything’ paradigm is in conflict with several other ‘stuff’s, for example farmers markets, sushi, and breakfast restaurants. Consider also celebrity chefs and Food Network (although food porn, like any porn, can be seen as a proxy indulgence in the forbidden or unattainable.)

Of course, as I am very white I know that I could if pressed under this contradiction invoke the Whittman defense.

I’m with Chip. Your first entry can be about how you can’t get hummus or sun-dried tomatoes in Basque country. Your second entry can rhapsodize about the local cuisine and how you’ve integrated so much into the culture that you’re practically a native. Good luck!

The funny thing about it is: Organic products are full of freaking BUGS, which is animal protein, which these fucking ASSHOLE vegans swear they won’t touch.

God, this world is so lousy rotten that it makes me want to take a hammer to the whole damn mess and pound it flat. EATING, SHITTING, SCREWING, and DYING. That is what we are made to do. If you would like to read more into it, then please keep it to yourself.

Is it just me or has the quality of posting on this site gone why down since the writer put out his book. the last few posts have not really been that funny and not up to par when compared to earlier postings. it seems like he is having a hard time coming up with ideas.

I agree. I am at the point of eliminating it from my Blog Roll because most of the new posts deal with where a signing will be. In fact, I had sworn that if this new post was another book signing notice, I was going to do just that. Guess I’ll hang on for a while, though. I used to think this was the most spot on blog I’d ever seen. Now, not so much.

I agree, the quality of posts has gone down dramatically since the book was published. I think he’s running out of material.

I do agree on the hummus post, in the sense that white people love hummus. But they’re also confused about hummus. They mix any type of beans and call it a hummus. I’m sick of it! There’s no 3 bean hummus, there’s no white bean hummus, it’s not a hummus with olives or roasted red pepper. Sigh…

I may have eaten hummus once in my life…I’m really a meat and potatoes kind of girl, to the point that I studied meat science in college and now work in the meat industry. But I have Celiac Sprue, the autoimmune disease that requires me to be on a gluten-free diet…so no wheat, rye, barley, or oats. For me, eating gluten-free is not a choice, it isn’t a fad, it is literally a life or death issue.

I don’t really think it was a dig against celiacs…being married to one, I kind of love that gluten-free crackers were even mentioned.

And, if white people think being gluten-free is trendy then it just means more stuff available at Whole Foods market for all the celiacs out there! (cuz we all know how much white people love Whole Foods right)

100% on point, Christian – by the way, I went to your full list of stuff white people like page, hit command-f (not ctrl-f, you squares) and was distressed to have firefox yell at me when my search string got to “dive ” – I didn’t even get to type the ‘b’! What gives, man?

I’m vegan and I daily explain that I sustain life because, “I eat a lot of hummus” … if my mom starts to question my nutritional balance as a veeg, I also respond with, “it’s cool, I eat a lot of hummus”

Actually, this blog should be called: “Stuff White US-AMERICAN People Like” – In Europe, nobody even really knows hummus, except for those who like to remember their time in the States. 😉 (I’m from Germany, by the way)

Well, it was worth the wait. Once again you guys have skewered us white folks mercilessly with a simple observation. I wish we weren’t so damn predictable but, hey, if the shoe fits…I’d be a rich man if i had a nickle for every time i’ve heard a chorus of oohs and ahhs and mmms from my (white) friends when some hummus is brought out. It’s all the more hilarious because it had to be one of the blandest foods available. Oh well…

wow , angelina, are you kidding? what about all those lebanese restaurants in paris , london, stockholm … who serve hommos, those stores selling middle east food ? and for those who visited Israel , hommos is a national plate !

I’ll tell you what, I’ll come over to your house and eat a bunch of gluten, then have explosive diarrhea all over your pillows. Celiac’s a fucking autoimmune disease, it’s not picky eating. I hope you get tit cancer, so I can mock your whining.

White people also like hummus because it’s ethnic enough without being too ethnic. By eating hummus they can say they appreciate middle-eastern culture unlike their non-liberal cousins who shun ethnic foods for mall burgers.

I also know white people who would eat green Thai curry at a fancy hippie joint run by other bleeding heart liberals BUT will not eat curry at a restaurant run by Asians (who we know exploit people)

Just don’t tell these liberal white people they are the (post-)colonial sin of exoticism.

I love hummus! There is this special place I go to in Canoga park that makes the best hummas.

I actually have a tub of hummas in my fridge right now….but i havent eaten it in like 2 weeks..i bet its still good.

One problem with hummas tho…it can get too bitter, then you have a bit of a problem..because you just bought some hummas thinking it would be great, and its bitter, you should always try a sample of it before you buy it at a deli.

You are so white! And when you tell your second husband (who will be white) that your first husband was arab, you will gain mega white points, to the extent that you could at at KFC everday for a year and still be whiter then half the people posting comments.

Yes, Mediteranian food is probably number one in food white people not only love to mention that they love, but actually love to eat it too. Everything about it evokes the classical roman times of prosperity. Fetta=YUM

It is very very good, also put Ocean Spray Cranberry sauce on it, it makes it very delicious, and gives a white person the sense of being unique and with the poor of America when they eat the overprocessed Ocean Spray cranberry sauce, in a can.

The gluten-free thing is kind of a white thing – at least, celiac disease is a genetic flaw that tends to run through the European population.

How about this one: White people like faux food allergies. Being someone who actually has celiac disease, I can’t tell you how annoying it is to hear someone without it prattle on about their self-imposed, self-important restricted diet. Having a food allergy sucks, I don’t get why people who don’t have them pretend they do.

OMG!!!! I have the best new recipie for festive pumpkin hummus (it was given to me by my mother-who I hate by the way). Anywho, the addition of organic natural peanut butter (I prefer to use the crunchy) really makes this dish.
recipe:
a can of pumpkin
a tablespoon of sesame oil (CAUTION: Dr. Weil says to keep it refridgerated)
a shit ton of garlic
cumin to taste
salt to taste
whatever misc. ganga or shrooms you have lying around
caynne pepper to taste
3 tbs. p.b. and Hungarian smoked paprika to make it extra special, all whipped up in your Black n Decker mini pro.
chill and enjoy!

There’s a mediterranean restaurant in my town which white people praise to the heavens and flock to in droves. However, the food is frigging incredible, and there are plenty of non-whites and wrong kinds of white folk who rave about it too.

For all ye who feel like Christian is excluding you, he isn’t. Just because he says, “White people like x,” it doesn’t mean that ONLY White people like it. Just recognize that your culture and his White culture have certain things in common and be happy ^_^

This is isn’t that funny. Hlaf of these entries are really funny and half just real dull. However, after seeing the author interviewed on television it all made sense. He’s a smug, fixed gear, indie twat.

“She joined a group of women and girls who were promised jobs as waitresses in Israel. Unfortunately, Tankova’s group won’t be found dishing up hummus on Tel Aviv beach. They were trafficked to Israel via Egypt by Bedouins to be sold as sex slaves. ”
[…]

You, Joe, are the idiot. There’s this little thing called satire — ever hear of it? This post is so spot on I wondered if Christian had been snooping in my fridge or eavesdropping the last time I was somewhere hummus was being served to gluten-free friends.

clander writes: “All white people like hummus. In fact, if you find a white person who does not like hummus then they probably just haven’t tasted it or they are the wrong kind of white person. In either case, they are probably not someone that you want to know.” You got me, if I don’t like the shit you say I’m supposed to like; then I’m the wrong kind of white person. This is satire? Bullshit. clander is a white person with cranial insertion in the rectal orifice who I don’t want to know.

Another thing, how white is it to be named ‘Christian’? As that isn’t enough, to signature with ‘clander’. No capitals, no space; not cool. I see the publisher of your book wouldn’t let you get away with it. I love you, brother. You’re trying to be white much too hard. With this in mind my doubts about your ethneticy have increased. I’m thinking you’re not white at all but Irish. Is that statement satire?

I’ll help you out since your search engine must be broke. Hummus is made by feeding your dog as much cheap dog food you can force down it, hang the dog from his nose, then pour a quart of bleach down its gullet. After fifteen minutes beat the dog’s gut with a ball bat for ten minutes; and what the dog shits is hummus. End of story; you asked. It tastes REAL good.

Hey Ralph, don’t people from your part of the world also enjoy the splendid dish made from the chopped off hands of thieves? I have been trying to convince the Chinese government in Beijing to allow that but to no avail. In China they only eat children but not thieves. (Sigh).

By the way Middle-Easterners are not White but caucasian. The term “White” does not so much indicate biological make-up as it indicates cultural make-up. Perhaps before you run for office it’s advisable for you to read up a bit more on theories of race, colonialism and post-colonialism. And, do check your spelling before you post anything, Ralph.

Ouch. Given that I was mocking who choose not to eat gluten as opposed to people who actually suffer from celiac disease, your comments are way harsh, Thai. Guess I’ll have to be clearer in future posts.

The next time that I get invited to a gathering that I saw on meetup.org, or to watch an episode of an HBO series, I’m not bringing the usual bar-b-que pork rinds and PBR. When I go to my book club or theosophy society meeting, I’m not sharing a tart brie or a mellow chardonay. I’m going to Whole Foods and pick up a nice big tub of organic hummus and pita chips. Gee, will I be popular! The only problem is my regular poker game. Even though most of the players are overwhelmingly WP, a bowl of hummus on the snack table in lieu of processed meat products may result in punches or gunfire.

Oh, it’s so true! As the spouse of a gluten-intolerant person, the other suggestion I have is baby carrots. Your white friends will be so impressed when you anticipate their gluten issues by having those on hand with your hummus!

My mom self-diagnosed herself using the internet as having “Celiac.” Crazy bitch. I fed her “gluten-free” noodles one time and guess what? She was fine! loved it and wanted to know where I had bought them.

considering I’d bought regular noodles I had to think fast and told her they were from a speciality store in NYC.

If you can’t eat something, don’t eat it. My wife has Colitis. And you know what? If we go somewhere and the only thing to eat is something she can’t eat, SHE DOESN’T EAT IT! Fucking shocking I know. Amazing that she doesn’t expect other people to cater to her every want and need.

You come to my house, I’ll have food prepared (and will probably tell you what to expect before you come), you can eat it or not it eat it. I don’t give two shits either way.

Also so funny that no white people actually no how to properly pronounce ‘hummus’ – it’s not pronounced like it is spelled, people! Number one the ‘h’ is actually a gutteral ‘chhhh’ sound, which I understand is difficult for most white people to produce in their throats, so I get substituting it for the ‘h’. But what’s crazy is that white people pronounce it ‘hUUUMMMAASSSS’, and it is actually pronounced hOOOOMOOOOSSS. There’s no excuse for white people not being able to make an ‘ooo’ sound. To be honest, I’m a little sad/surprised that the author of this blog left out this critical fact in the relationship between white people and their love for HUMOUS.
.

white people LOVE TO QUOTE MOVIE LINES. or lines from t.v. shows. this will happen in almost every single conversation you have with a white person. it’s like they memorize as they watch, for the sole purpose of being able to amuse their friends when they later repeat the line (or entire script) in any semi-related context. except the non-white friends remain unamused, because we don’t get it.

I hate hummus (and pita), even though I admit to being white, and I do get a stomach ache from gluten. I don’t have celiac (been tested) but do have “wheat intolerance.” Horrible. I love pork–has no gluten. Also, fortunately, ice cream has no gluten.

I don’t think its “crazy” (but maybe funny) when Chinese people or Mexican people pronounce English words wrong because of the linguistic structure they grew up with. And they never seem to correct it, at least not right away, even if its something “easy” to us white people, like not pronouncing vowels correctly or placing random syllables where they shouldn’t be. But what do I know, I’m just a stupid white person who says “humous” instead of “choomoose”

It’s actually disgusting. This whole phase of white people completely changing their eating habits has got to end soon, because as noted, it’s getting harder and harder to find good tasting food at white peoples houses.

from juan Cole of Michigan University
Arabs began immigrating into the United States in the 1880s from Lebanon, and have been an important ethnic group during the past over a century. They provided everything from auto workers to physicians and comedians. There are probably three million self-identified Arab-Americans, and as a group they are slightly wealthier, younger and more educated than Americans in general. (If we counted everyone with at least an 8th Lebanese ancestry as Arab-American, they would be many millions, but most don’t self-identify that way). Arab-Americans are more likely to own a business than the average American. Until very recently, they were slightly more likely to vote Republican than Democrat (they are now trending Democrat). They are potential swing voters in Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Florida.

That confused woman probably did not mean “Arab” but “Muslim.” (She later said she was afraid America would become a Muslim country.)

But Arab is a linguistic identity whereas Muslim is a religious one. Not all Arabs are Muslims. The Copts in Egypt (6% of the population) speak Arabic but are Christians. Likewise the Maronites in Lebanon and many Chaldeans and Assyrians in Iraq. About 7,000 Jews living in Morocco speak Arabic at home.

If not all Arabs are Muslims, only a minority of Muslims is Arab. Iranians (70 million strong) are not Arabs. Turks are not Arabs. Pakistanis are not Arabs. Malaysians and Indonesians are not Arabs. Nigerians and Senegalese are not Arabs. But all these national or ethnic groups are predominantly Muslim.

Worse than the lady’s confusion between Arab and Muslim were her further obvious confusion between Muslim and dangerous.

Mr. McCain, Arab-Americans and Muslim-Americans are decent, family-oriented citizens. The only thing wrong with calling Obama by either of these modifiers is that it would be incorrect. He is not an Arab ethnically, but rather northern European and Luo (Nilotic). He is not a Muslim but a Christian.

McCain’s insinuation that “Arabs” (whether he and his friend actually meant “Muslims” or not) are not decent and not family-oriented and not citizens is obscene.

Ralph Nader, one of McCain’s rivals for the presidency, is an Arab-American, and McCain owes Mr. Nader and all Arab-Americans, indeed, all Americans, a huge apology.

As with his self-professed “hatred” of “gooks,” McCain’s suddenly revealed attitude toward Arab-Americans is extremely troubling.

Plain hummus? Is the hummus mixed with other delicious ingredients too much for my friends to handle? I need to get this straight because I don’t want to put out some spicy three pepper hummus when everyone is expecting plain. Please advise.

The hilariousness of this is only multiplied by the fact that I live in Israel and my family eats more humus than is even normal for Middle Easterners.

When we came to Israel the first time in ’99, we’d go to the deli counter and ask for a huge tub of humus. The lady would look at me, assume I was saying the words in Hebrew wrong, hold up a much smaller tub and ask if that’s what I meant. No. The really, really BIG tub. She’d try the next one up.

Finally, she’d get to the biggest tub. Then she’d asked if we’d ever eaten humus. We couldn’t really want that much humus. It just doesn’t make sense. I would explain that I had three children, the youngest a baby who’s first solid food was humus. (He stuffed his fist in my plate at 6 weeks old, and decided from then on that I was only allowed to eat if he had a dollop of humus to suck off his fist.) She’d be seriously horrified at the thought of a baby eating humus, possibly chastise me for it, and then fill the tub.

These days, there are only two of us in the house, so the size of our weekly humus tub is more “normal” looking. 🙂

I’m so tired of hummus!! I live in metro Detroit, home to a large middle eastern population so I’ve been eating excellent hummus since the early 80’s. Now, when anyone has a party or get together, they seem to serve the most tasteless hummus available accompanied by stale grocerystore pita bread pre-cut into wedges to make sure they are extra dry. It makes a mockery of hummus!

Probably…not. But I bet you have more than a few white friends. Pay attention to every car, beer, or restaurant commercial. There is always 4 people and at least one is black or non-white person. Now, when you are out with some of your friends pay attention to the breakdown. If you are that one non-white then my statement above is true. God speed, my friend. I don’t know what that means so don’t ask.

In addition to serving hummus with pita, many folks in this part of the world seem to always serve it with those wierd, pre-shaped baby carrots. The addition of veggies makes it more of an acceptable meal.

Can’t eat the stuff myself, am now allergic to sesame, therefore tahini-laden hummus is out. Perhaps I’ll be asked to leave the White People camp.

Also remember to have the hummus recipe on hand, if you made it yourself, because they will certainly ask you for it. It also helps if you made the hummus with your handy new fancy kitchen blender. They’ll also want that.

If she ate it and liked it, the “exotic” is a bonus–even white people have firsts. White people are constantly trying to find authentic, exotic things and make them out to be perfectly familiar (“of course I like throut singing!”). This is one of the main motivations of a people deprived of a culture of their own, albeit by choice as they’ve rejected the “errors of their forefathers.”

I thought I wasn’t _that_ white, but I just realized I finished off my last gluten free crackers with organic peanut butter and *gasp* hommus!

You write, “All white people like hummus. In fact, if you find a white person who does not like hummus then they probably just haven’t tasted it or they are the wrong kind of white person. In either case, they are probably not someone that you want to know.”

Actually, I’m a white person who doesn’t like hummus because I’m allergic. So you are like wrong and shit.

I love this website AMAZING! I read this entry while I was eating hummus for lunch, so funny and true. The only thing I know how to make is hummus everything else is bought at Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, or the farmers market.

The other thing white people like with their hummus is garlic. Make sure it has garlic. And if you really want to ‘shuzz’ it up, sprinkle a little parley on the top. White people love parsley food. Tell them the parsley will neutralize the garlic odor.

Selma Blair was in A Dirty Shame, possibly one of the best movies this decade. I dont think sex addict Apostles have ever been done before in the movies. Selma had the biggest boobs in that movie, it was hilarious!

No party here is complete with hummus. You can’t not have hummus at a gathering of people here in Turkey, even though most of the people attending the parties I attend are white ex-pats. I guess it’s more recognizable than that eggplant stuff (patlican salata, for any white people who want to know the actual name).

Astute — but that’s because eating gluten free is required by those who have a disease called celiac disease. It kills people, and while I understand this is a parody site and I’m a fan of it and have been for a long time, it isn’t funny to equate people who have diseases with those who even take up voluntary diets — no matter how faddish to ethical the spectrum runs. Those of us who have this disease talk about it because it is underdiagnosed and people are misinformed — and because people read blogs like this that perpetuate we are picky eaters. We do not WANT to be, we are forced to be. Usually this site is funny, but this post is not.

Yeah, but the problem is so few people who claim to be gluten intolerant are not diagnosed. They are just annoying. And it’s actually a VERY rare disease. I think celiac also causes a major decrease in ability to appreciate humour. “I don’t do gluten or satire…”

I’m 28 years old, and I’ve gone into renal failure due to malnutrition. For 26 years I had no idea I had CD.

The CD specialists in Boston diagnosed me with one of the most advanced cases of damage they’ve seen, even compared to people in their 50’s who just stopped eating gluten. So yes, Celiac can indeed kill you. Not directly, (organ failure, increased chance of cancer and bleeding ulcers, and the fact that roughly 90% of people diagnosed with CD have considered suicide to name a few) but it does have a profound impact on mortality.

Just because your case is minimal or you are not properly informed doesn’t change things for the rest of us.

OMG! This is so hilariously true……It works even better at work functions/meetings. Admin staff get really excited when they find out I’m celiac. They now have an excuse to legitimately wander around a heal food shop and buy mysterious GF products. Plus a story to tell of their shopping adventure. :P………..The funniest part is when someone else eats my special GF food, then everyone apologizes to me all morning……(chill out guys, It’s not like I’m going to die from one missed morning tea :P)…..ahhh where would we be with out white people 😛

I am black and had white friends to bring my wife and I hummus as a “welcome to the neighborhood” gift. My wife and I looked at it for five minutes or so, unsure of what it was. After a few google searches it didn’t sound like fun. Desperate for a snack the next day, I tried it. Not terrible but I would never choose to eat it. I can’t figure why someone would purchase it.

I mean, really. Really talking about hummus, I mean hummus. Christ what in the hell would anyone want to talk about hummus, hummus, real hummus. Shit, really, hummus. Naw, you can’t care enough about hummus to have conversations about it. Really, you are talking about hummus. My gawd what the hell is so wonderful about hummus that one word would be written about it, let alone all the bullshit above and below this posting. Like hummus must be better than anything ever before. Hummus is God. Pray to Hummus, bow to Hummus, write books about Hummus, build buildings to gather in to pray about Hummus, take collections of money in these buildings to make more money to build more buildings, and go to the highs hills and scream Hummus is heaven. Move over God there’s a new guy in town and you’re in deep shit. Hummus, Hummus, Hummus I sing thy glory; oh save me, save me and let me ride in our chariot. God damn, hummus, really, what the fuck?

Kath? Is that short for Kathy, maybe? And you’re an Arab? If so, I am baffled by this! Also exactly when was hummus cool to eat (I missed that one)? I assume we’re talking about actually eating hummus and not just liking it as a concept. Exactly how many years before it was cool did you actually start eating hummus? If you’re Arab, isn’t probably that the reason you started eating it way before it “was cool”? If that’s the case, that’s about as unusual as me having eaten at McDonalds before it “was cool”. I mean, I ate at McDonalds before it was even called McDonalds (don’t get me started…!). Try finding the guy who started eating hummus before it was even called hummus, then you could at least say you know someone real cool, who as far as hummus goes, has got everyone else speechless!

Hey, if you were really hungry and the hummus was fresh and made well with the proper ingredients (I think this is where the lemon, plenty of garlic and expensive olive oil come in), server on fresh Pita, you might like it or at least give it a “not bad”? The words ‘hate’ and ‘hummus’ do not belong together in the same sentence (not including this sentence, of course). It’s just not right!

Canned chick peas? You must be the wrong kind of white person. Don’t you know about the BPA in can linings?

(Yes, I really do have dried chick peas soaking right this moment. Later I will boil them, and then blend them into hummus.)

And please add some salt to your hummus recipe! Personally, I prefer mine in the form of veggie broth or Bragg’s Liquid Aminos in place of some of the water, but even just salt from a shaker will really improve the flavor of the recipe above.

As an excellent example of this kind of white person, I love hummus. An excellent and less expensive way to cater to gluten-intolerant individuals is corn tortilla chips – and you get bonus points for creating a multi-cultural “fusion” cuisine. White++. I eat a box of hummus mix and a bag of chips almost every week to appease both my desire for instant snacky food and bizarre, self-imposed dietary restrictions. Represent!

Gluten-free crackers are loved by white people because white people love the idea that there stomach upset is due to a disease, in this case celiac disease. White people love to get tested for celiac disease, and any other disease. They get tested for many diseases, and eventually they will have a false positive test for one, even though they do not have the disease. They then can assign their vague symptoms (headache, fatigue, diarrhea) to that disease, rather than dealing with the emotional causes of their physical distresses. White people also love to think they have diseases that do not exist, or are actually quite rare like dysbiosis, parasitism, and heavy metal poisoning. White people like alternative treatments for these diseases like chelation therapy, colon cleanings, healing baths, acupuncture, and ofcourse nutritional supplements (white peoples’ favorite). White people like to spend cash on these things. White people think that their doctor is with-holding information or simply does not know something that they know because they read about it online.

white people often have hummus competitions, in which they try to upstage each other with the authenticity of their hummus. usually a reference to israel or israelis is thrown in there to validate their choice in hummus. but they are right – “you just can’t get good hummus in the states”. (kind of like the Chinese food in NY thing). maybe now im too specific-and only talking about jewish white people.

At first I was going to wholeheartedly dispute this entry concerning hummus as I, an African American, eat it on a weekly basis. I almost forgot that I was first introduced to this tasty veggie treat by a white person, so that deflates my argument.

Everyone in my family dies of heart attacks or strokes, but I can (and do) still laugh about them. Getting your panties in a twist about celiac or gluten humor won’t make you live longer, makes you seem like a obliviously pretentious twit and causes you stress (which can also kill you, as I’m sure you know).

You got me wrong way too many times. This place is just like some random fortune popup or a fortune cookie that idiots are impressed with “Wow I will meet someone in the future” bs.
Cmon..hummus…That is a new low even for you, low low blow. Perfectly disgusting.

Hey, this comments thread has a lot of funny posts about Celiacs, which I enjoyed.

Just an awareness thing…lots of non-white people have Celiac disease. It is present because of a certain type of genetic HLA type that is not well adapted to eating grains. This HLA type is found among many populations (but not common in sub-saharan Africa).

Try gluten-free…it might be right for you!

Celiacs always try to evangelize more people because then the world will be full of more delicious gluten-free food.

As a white vegetarian, hummus and pita bread is what I always bring to potlucks. I don’t have to cook, and it has no dairy so vegans can enjoy it too.
I once found a Middle Eastern restaurant that made their own pita bread and hummus, and I would have delicious lunches of nothing else. Mmmmmmm!

I love hummus! I’m a poor college kid, but I admit there’s some of it in my barren fridge right now. X3 I’ve also got it in packages to go.
Ah ha…but I’m not white!!

……

Okay, I’ll bite….my skin is tan, but white people have adopted me and raised me as their own. It’s more like I have a little extra pigment in my skin than the average white person.
Sometimes I forget…
And people will say things like, “Oh, I love the olive tone of your skin!”
And for a few, brief moments…I’ll have no idea what their talking about.

I am a white person who HATES hummus. My Afghani-Canadian wife always laughs when people get all bug-eyed and dancy when hummus is promised. She says its disgusting poor-people food where she comes from.

God this desperado is tedious! Hummus is Arabic! The only White people who like this slimy halitosis inducing discharge are students, vegans and macrame weaving hippies. granted these may be the type of twats that Christian is prone to hang with, but that’s hardly representative of normal White people. This post is definately in your top tenuous!

Got Hummus? Here’s a Thanksgiving Recipe from Sonny & Joe’s – the best DANG Hummus on the Planet!

Loosen the skin and pull back off the turkey breast. With a spatula, apply half of the Sonny & Joe’s Hummus to the breast of the turkey. Gently replace the skin, patting down over the layer of Hummus. Combine the salt and spice mix and rub on the turkey skin. Drizzle olive oil over the turkey skin and massage in so it is spread all over the turkey or turkey breast.

Roast turkey according to size.

Use the remainder of the Sonny & Joe’s Hummus as a tasty appetizer with crudite, chips or crackers.

I’m white, not the stereotypical white you paint here, but I see all my neighbors in your blog here.
I hate hummus, Vegan food, Trader Joe’s (well there are a few items there, well on second thought I never shop there), Whole Foods Market, Organicxxxxx. I drink Whole milk, eat eggs -yolk and all with salt!, Chorizo, but I am white as I DO like Yogurt, not the fat free added enzymes varieties, just the low fat store brands with fruit added.
My wife is Mexican, when I inform her from time to time that I am white, she informs me “You are not really white”.

“Between 0.5 and 1.0 percent of people in the United States are sensitive to gluten. [17] [18] Coeliac disease (or celiac disease, also called gluten sensitive enteropathy (GSE)), caused by an abnormal immune reaction to partially digested gliadin, is the predominant disorder. It probably occurs with comparable frequencies among all wheat-eating populations in the world.[19]”

you’re close; but the most important ingredient is tahini, which is a sesame paste. Peeled chick peas, olive oil, garlic, tahini and lemon juice. Mash it all up and you’ve got yourself a #112.
I like it. I admit making it once in a while. Actually it’s a pain to peel the chick peas, so I’ll usually pick it up at the lebanese resto.

I don’t think enough has been made about the extra kudos for white people that comes with home-made hummus. If you really want to please your white host, and suspect the hummus they’re serving is home-made (the clues are it’s extra chunky, and in a nice – probably pottery – bowl rather than a plastic container), ask them, ‘Wow, this is fabulous hummus. Where did you get it from?’. This allows your white host to say, ‘Oh, I made it myself, it’s so easy! Let me give you my recipe.’ This will ensure that your white host is really pleased they invited you.
Hey – don’t all white folk love pottery? Or maybe it’s called ‘ceramics’. Surely there’s a blog in that – you know, local, sustainable, organic etc. All the things white folk love.

I came to the party late….and I must be a really weird white person because I DO NOT LIKE HUMMUS….gag me. It reminds me of library paste….but doesn’t taste as good. I guess I am the wrong type of person.

SABRA is the best hummus I’ve ever tasted. I buy generic everything else, but I happy pay a premium for Sabra.

Based on the shelf space it gets around NYC there must be a lot of lots of non-Jews who like Sabra, but secular Jews consume hummus to make themselves feel less guilty about infrequent synagogue attendance. It’s a way to be Jewish without actually having to do anything actually religious.

Funny blog, mostly good points. Low blow on the food allergies, though — they are not funny. They are expensive, inconvenient, isolating and life threatening.

Additionally, gluten intolerance is not a food allergy . It is a disease called Celiac. Look it up. It is rarely reported in people of African, Asian, or Caribeean descent.

To the writer, it is obvious that you have not been touched by Celiac or food allergy, otherwise you would not have been so cavalier. Poking fun at food allergies is like making fun of someone with sickle cell anemia. You are a gifted writer and should not have to stoop so low for material.

Shit! I’d better get ready for some serious denigration by Negroes, Asians and Jews, because if I claim to be offended by being called “the cancer of history”, or an evil troll created in Yakub’s laboratory, I’ll be guilty of acting typically white! Fuck me, WHITE! Like, belonging to the race that invented the internal combustion engine, democracy, habeas corpus and human rights is, like, sooooo evil!

garbanzo beans paste is no more tempting then peanut butter.
same paste different ingredients.
zohan, summed it up in the comedy when he uses hummus as toothpaste. the obsession with this jam can only be attributed to subliminal marketing.

J Brown…have you ever stopped breathing due to accidentally ingesting an allergen? I recently rushed my young daughter to the hospital under that circumstance (anaphylaxis). I am not a gifted or pithy writer, so go ahead and make fun of my style, but I will do everything in my power to make even a minuscule difference in her world and how it perceives her. Whether that is… asking food corp’s to label properly, doing my own home cooking, or patiently educating people who make fun of food allergies . People who laugh at them need to know they are real, and they are a disease every bit as grave as any other killer.

Really JB…I’m guessing you must have gotten a hive or something. Full blown anaphylaxis is no joke. Without medical attention, it is fatal. Celiac will kill a person slowly. Celiacs who repeatedly bend to peer pressure to eat “normally” will experience consquences ranging from diarrhea to lymphoma, or the necessity of a feeding tube for the rest of their life. A real knee slapper, eh?

Those who perpetuate the myth by blaming their picky eating habits on “allergies” are certainly not helping to alleviate the ignorance, either. (Do those people really exist?Or are they just on blogs and TV?)

Last thing, (Kathy) I did go ahead and look up the post on “being offended”. it was humorous, like most of the other posts on this blog, and I have not commented on any of the posts since I began following this blog . I draw the line at making fun of a lifelong, potentially fatal, chronic disease. Maybe I could laugh at other peoples’ diseases but since this one effects me 24/7 , it misses the mark on my particular funny bone. Since comments are enabled, it is my responsiblity to grab an opportunity use the platform as a source to debunk the widespread ignorance about food allergies.

CDB – I can actually help here. The stereotype is how pretentious and predictable white people are. Whether it’s food, clothing, or music or any of the other 114 topics. The author is implying that hummous is actually kind of a nasty idea, but there is kind of an “emperor’s new clothes” type phenomenon that has been perpetuated . White people lap it in the guise of feeling sophisticated, worldy and adventurous. Another example of this might be “Campari” or possibly sushi…I’d have to check and see if those items have been mentioned previously.

Actually, I found that part funny! I also enjoy hummous, but it’s still funny. I just quit laughing (see below) when the topic of disease got dredged up. I certainly hope the author does not plan to spoof on “anorexia” or “alcoholism” , “heart disease”, or other medical conditions, in the future. He can do better.

The whole blog and book are about race. It’s 99.99% really quite clever and hilarious. It’s not a stretch at all to associate food trends with race and demographics. Enjoy.

god, i cant stand people with all of these dietary restrictions! i would immediately stop hanging out with people that had that many concerns about sushi. like, what the hell is wrong with you? a whole nation (or more) eats sushi and seems to have survived with fewer health qualms than you.

ugh… veganism is such a sham. it’s like people are trying to make themselves sickly, starving, and unable to eat regular food.

Ok…..I’m white and I love hummus…..I eat it at least three times per week…..but I also do currently live in the Middle East and it is a staple here. And though I do like hummus…..the stuff we eat here in Jordan is better than anything you can get in America.

I love Mid East food, including hummus, and was delighted with this article on white people, of which I am one. I seek out Mid East, north African (also Indian, etc., etc. cafes in my part of New Orleans). But why do you accept such vulgar rubbish as Toyfish’s contribution?? It almost ruined my day. MB

I really HEART hummus.. and I’m really white.. but, after living in Puerto Rico for 6 years, I’ll take arroz y gandules con pollo anyday over hummus … oh and for the other white things people like in other blogs, I hate wine and Jazz, and I speak 3 other languages fluently .. and I use them on a daily basis.. so THERE ! 🙂

In other anglo countries it’s called ‘homos’ but I guess American white people would get a bit uptight about that. There should be an entry on all that language Americans are squirmy about; going to the ‘rest room’, pronouncing harrass like ‘Harris’ instead of like ‘her ass’ etc. etc.

Hummus is a middle eastern food, and people (at least in Lebanon) eat it with bread- flat bread, and maybe some olives, as part of a mezza. White people are the ones who have bastardized it with roasted peppers and other things and put it in wraps and sandwiches and on crackers. My Tata would laugh hysterically.
It is also funny that white people buy tiny containers of it and pay for it like the contents are gold ($4.00? $5.00?). The reality is that it takes like 5 ingredients and a blender and the time it takes to open a can of chickpeas (the REAL stuff is made by soaking the dry beans…) You can make a gallon for that price.

The Yabba;
Well, it depends who spells it… Since hummus/homos/hommus is very common in and originated in the Middle East we can’t really say. The languages in that part of the world is Arabic and Farsi. Languages that don’t even have the same letters as us. So it can be spelled either way. And therefore you may, even in the same country, find many different spellings. As well as pronounciacions.
But it is good anyhow 🙂 And easy to make.

But what I am MORE curious about is “stopped eating everything you consider delicious.” What is it that I am missing (except for dairy products. Because yes, I am lactose intollerant…)

In addition to the pita chips (whole grain only, of course, and preferably no-added-salt) and gluten-free crackers, you can’t go wrong with serving your white friends crudites with hummus. No white person alive can resist a cucumber slice or baby carrot topped with hummus. You’ll get so many brownie points (or would that be whitey points?) for serving such a healthy snack, I guarantee.

YOU BASTARDS how dare write things that arent true and are rasict! You have no idea what white or BLACK people like. If you had any idea whqat white poeple like you must be God. I KNOW for a fact that your ass is not God so you need to get yor facts striaght you rasict S.O.B!! I HATE YOUR GUITS AND HOPE YOU GET EATEN BE BEARS THEN SURVIVE TO GET POKED AT BY BIRDS TO A SLOW DEATH!!!
-Christline

Oh my god!!! How can you post these things??!?!? This is disgrastful. THis website should be took off the internet!!! If ur writing all these things!! Your talking about black people and white people…..so what race r u!!?!?!?
-Heather

You racist S.O.B!! I hope you dead a very PAINFUL death! How can you post all this crap at isnt true! If you was true you would have to survey the ENTIRE white community of the world which with your dead end job cant afford or have time for you stupid no lifed bastard!!!! I hope ir im going to sue your sorry ass for racist bitch that you are! So suck D***!!!!
-Desiree

I dont know who the flip you all are saying that all white people have to like hummas!!!! I dont like it and people should know me….
Who the flip are you to say that white people like this and that!!! You dont even know all white people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Shelby

I’m from Ann Arbor, MI, and in every one of these posts I recognize either myself or at least a dozen of my friends. If anyone thinks that this is an unfair representation of white people, visit Ann Arbor. We blast Indie music in our hybrids on the way to Trader Joe’s to eat hummus. It’s an intense white experience.

I am white and don’t like hummus, but then I have particularly fussy tastes, even for a white person. If I am coming to your house and for some reason you feel the need to accomodate my tastes, please prepare the following:

1. A main dish with a very high meat-to-vegetable ratio and no sauce or seasoning that is sour, cheesy, or in any other way “funny.” An example of a good non-white meat dish is teriyaki chicken with rice or those pale sprout/noodle thingies. An example of bad non-white meat dish is Thai stirfry, with tiny pellets of meat in a sea of spicy water and soggy vegetables.

2. Brand-name pop such as Diet Coke, kept chilled.

3. “Normal” (by white standards) dessert such as vanilla cake with vanilla icing. No, mango or green tea sherbet does not count. No bitter cherry filling, creamcheese, or nuts; the plainer the better.

This is hilarious- I am one of those white people who feel comfortable when there is hummus. I am vegan when at all possible (I travel a lot) and it is hard for me to understand why everyone seems to think vegetarian protein means cheese.
Many of my white friends are allergic to gluten; I’ve noticed that in supermarkets many product lines are now made “vegan and gluten free.”

P.S. My fiance, who is Egyptian, also finds it hilarious that I am hummus-obsessed at times. The obsession does sometimes morph into falafel obsession (nothing whatsoever to do with Billo), foul obsession and baba ganouj obsession…

Actually what white people like is dip, any dip. That includes salsa, tappenades, sour cream and onion soup mix and ect. As to Hommus I think the Frugal Gourmet, who had some Lebanese ancestry, cooking show on PBS started the trend. You will note that Hommus is one of many bean dips white people eat. Hommus is also everywhere in the middle east so I am not sure if it is really a white thing. I think CLander blew it on this one.

None of these things have to do with with being white or what white people like. Have you notice how many of these “things that white people like” are adopted from non-white cultures? All these things have to do with being a bourgeois, college-educated yuppie (or a wanna-be-yuppie). To assume that these qualities are characteristic to white people–even in a satirical way–is presumptuous and a bit elitist.

I am white, educated, and i love humus. I found this absolutely hilarious. The situation where the white person refuses food in a black persons house has happened to me. I am 6′ 3″ and 200 lbs. Recently i have lost 25 lbs, because I moved out of my parents house and did not diet at all.

your comment smacks of something a white person would say… presumptuous, elitist and full of vacuous multi-syllabled words that i have to look up in the dictionary but will use and pretend to understand at ugly sweater parties.

Your generalizations are worse than the authors, his/hers were, at the very least, facetious. Yours, on the other hand, are a bit “elitist” as you say. Liking hummus has nothing to do with economic standing or education level.

Also, I’m white, so to the people below that said this response was typical of a white person, you’ve hurt my feelings, I think I’ll go have a cry.

So it’s not only presumptuous, it’s elitist, too?! AND it’s full of vacuous “multi-syllabled” words?! How typical of white people to use words they clearly don’t understand at “ugly” sweater parties and on stupid fucking posts that invite a world of shame into their pitiful, racially-obsessed lives.

The real funny part is where some “people” cry racist at any comment, notion or idea expressed by a “White”, especially the N-word. Yet these are the exact same “people” who laugh at Will Smith blurting out anti-White racial epithets like “Cracker”, “Redneck” and so forth. And they are the exact same “people” who scream racism when Michael Richards uses the N-word. And they are the same “people” who buy and sing along with music from DMX who uses the N-word for 30% of the lyrics. And they are the same “people” who cry about racial discrimination against “people” of “color”, yet directly benefit from Affirmative Action which excludes “White” people from jobs and college admissions based on their skin color. And they are the same “people” who are offended by organizations like KKK for racism, yet are fully supportive of La Raza, NAACP, MALDEF and LULAC which are organizations which support certain races and exclude all others. And are the same “people” who have fits over Hitler, yet have no problem with Pinochet or Idi Amin and even wear Che Gueverra merchandise. And they are the same “people” who think this website is “funny” becuase it mocks “Whites”, yet are the same “people” who denounce TV shows like Sanford and Son or the PJ’s which mock “blacks”. There are words for all of that. When it’s OK for one group of “people” and not for another, based on skin color…..Oh yes, “Racist” and “Hypocrit”.

this is the first time i’ve looked at this blog and, although, i do find some of the posts funny, on a whole, they aren’t very accurate. i feel like this blog should be called, “things people like” (p.s. it’s okay to like these things regardless of race/ethnicity)

i mean, it’s silly. don’t asian men like asian women? don’t some black dudes wear stupid sweaters, bill cosby anyone? don’t some black dudes still like deltron and wutang? i’ve watched wes anderson with a dominican kid that was wearing coogi, dunks, and horn-rimmed glasses. obviously, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that these are generalizations and now i’m interested to see what else i’m supposed to like as a white person, but let’s be honest.

It’s funny to me how B-rand types “lighten up, people”, but can you even IMAGINE the trouble I’d get into as a white woman if I started a smart ass, condescending blog titled “What Black People Like”. Oh man… that’s right. There’s already a SERIOUS site called that.
Ugh… this race shit pisses me off, I swear.

I probably shouldn’t say this, but I’m Black, and I checked out that SERIOUS site dedicated to stuff black people love (because “like” wasn’t strong enough), and I found it incredibly boring. As people, we have definitely gotten the short end of the stick for a millenia, but damn, I’m so tired of these SERIOUS sites for Black people. I feel like I’m going to history class or Political Science class whenever I go there. It would be great if we could laugh at ourselves more, like the guy who started this site. It’s all in fun, I get it that it’s not totally accurate. But I agree, this race shit is gets on my nerves, too. I’m so over it.

My god, people (speaking to those who are saying things like the posts aren’t accurate or representative), you do realize that precisely by saying this you are fitting in perfectly with everything else on this site, don’t you? The comments section of every post should be its own reason.

what kind of white people are we talking about here? i thought hummus was a jewish thing. i’ve never even had it. this would be humorous to me if it was actually a little bit accurate. but maybe your not referring to american people when you say white. because this is sooo far off. i think anyone would realize that.

It’s the same kind of white person on the rest of this site. All the yuppies I know love hummus. I like hummus. My white girlfriend likes hummus. And since white people do like to have Jewish friends (which of course gives them license to tell Jewish jokes), it does make sense. Go into a Trader Joe’s and take a look at the wide selection of hummus and you’ll know what the guy is talking about.

Haha! This is really funny. Maybe Im white on the inside and African American on the outside because my diet specifically consists of hummus and falafel. Im super picky about what I eat and anything thats not expensive and from Wholefoods is questionable. Its so hard to get away from this “White” habit.
Haha!

This is just STUPID.
who are these “white people”were talking about?
I”m white as is everyone I know and NONE OF THEM like Hummus.
In Fact hummus in not even a “white food”, niether is Pita bread, its Jewish.
You should really post some facts if your going to state these things. Or atleast google it first.
If this is an attempt to be funny, it really didn’t work.
OH and the rest of you white people you should really check out this dorks other “things white people like”

Both that site and this site are written by white people, and are not meant to offend anyone. I think both blogs are pretty funny, specially this one since I identify with a lot of these things or know white people who do. “Stuff White People Like” is not aimed at all white people, of course. But I digress. Obviously you just don’t get the humor, or you’re just too easily offended.

Oh no no no no, this is incorrect. White people HATE hummus. Buuuut some white people want to look cultured and worldly… which means they believe all other cultures are better than their own. This requires them to act like they like hummus. The only people who ACTUALLY like hummus are Middle Easterners.

Charlie Charlie Charlie.
You’re kidding, right? You got on a website that is so obviously satirical that you should have avoided it completely, and complain about the satire? If you’re white, you should read the one about liking to be offended. You may be whiter than you think.
haha.

Martha, you can never be so clear that you won’t be misunderstood and abused by some glue-sniffing little pea-wit, who would in all likelihood wet his pants if he encountered a genuine conflict with an actual person in the real world.

Valerie: You’re mistaking those who are known herein as “the wrong type of white people” for those who you refer to as “all white people”. Those who are known herein as “the right type of white people” like hummus. Thank you.

Dear 제이슨: As the type of white person who likes to convey cross cultural awareness and an appreciation for racial diversity, I’d like to ask that you not use what some might find to be offensive racial terms. Your use of the word “whites”, while perhaps used in error, is offensive, and I ask that you from now on use the most culturally-enlightened and racially-sensitive term, “white people”. I appreciate your understanding.

Once again, I think that whoever wrote this blog must have had some bad experience with some very snobby preppy people who also happened to be white. In any case, I don’t know anyone who has hummus in their fridge. I don’t even know what hummus is, and I still am uncertain after reading this moronic blog. It looks like vomit. And pita bread is crappy. I am with the person who mentioned Ruffles and French onion dip. I would probably live off of that. And chinese food. mmmm……..

I ALWAYS have hummus in my fridge and at least 2 types of crackers in the pantry. But I consider myself an exception since every time I have offered it to white guests they don’t seem to be interested and they immediately go for the pigs in blankets.

Welllll, I’m white, and have lived in Ohio, West Virginia, Massachusetts, and Virginia. I found hummus to be most popular in MA…but I just can’t stomach it. It tastes fine, but the smell….oh my GAWD the smell! I cannot handle it.

I’ve been going through the comments here and it seems you Americans have no idea what Hummus is really like. From what I’ve heard from Americans and Israelis, American Hummus is very bland and you use crackers to eat it.

As an Israeli I’ve been eating Hummus since I was 2 years old. There is only one kind to Hummus, the kind made out of Hummus beans.
There are dozens of spices, toppings and other beans you can add, but there’s only one kind of Hummus.

I hope other middle-easterners here would agree with me. Israelis and Arabs have many differences but if there’s one thing we can agree about is Hummus

We totally know what hummus is! I have two tubs in the fridge now (as I am truly a white person from this list). One kind is blended with garlic and red pepper and the other is topped with olives and pine nuts and dried herbs. Very yummy- I usually eat it with veggies and pita : )

Hummus doesn’t need anything with it, that’s the great thing about Hummus. And that’s what you Americans don’t understand. Olives and pine nuts yuk.

Another thing Americans don’t understand about Hummus is that you think of it as a main dish. In Israel Hummus is both like Ketchup and a bowl of chips.
You can use it as a spread for just about everything; french fries, hot-dogs, burgers, and just about any kind of meat.
It is also used as a snack like a bowl of chips or mixed nuts.

Actually, 99% of people I’ve met who don’t eat gluten don’t even know what Celian disease is…. rather, they think it’s hip to not eat gluten. They are simply too cool and alternative to eat the mainstream North American grain, and prefer to select other grains for consumption because they read an article or two in some Men’s Health-type magazine about the magic of spelt and rye! They may have also read or heard some obscure “facts” about the dangers of gluten.

This article (like all the other articles I’ve read, so far) is DEAD-ON. Clearly this blog is written by a legitimate white person with a thorough understanding of whiteness.

Also funny is how most white people can’t pronounce the sound required to pronounce hummus in its original Hebrew/Arabic manner. Most white people can’t (or won’t?) make the throat scratching sound required to make the sound. Unfortunately there is no way to transliterate the sound to English, as English doesn’t have any character or combination of characters available to make the sound.

Thankfully, many non-whites cann’t properly pronounce the sound made with the character combination: “TH”. I hope white people can pride in this inability of many non-whites. I know that true white people secretly enjoy hearing Eastern European immigrants say, “Sank you, Sanks so much!” or Middle Eastern immigrants saying, “Dat’s right, dat’s exactly what I wanted!”. This phenomenon builds a white person’s pride.

I will not scratch my throat to pronounce international spinach dip correctly. It’s just not worth it. You should consider changing the pronunciation as well. It’s just not wise to damage the throat when announcing snacky time.

OMG! Yes Yes Yes! This is exactly how I feel about white people. Why is it that everything I eat that tastes good is viewed with suspicion by white people? Why is it that they are allergic to everything? And come to think of it, why is it that the more white-washed my non-white friends become, the more food allergies they seem to acquire? I swear there’s a clear linear relationship.

P.S. I HATE hummus. It’s the most bland yet somehow weird tasting thing with the most disgusting consistency I have ever come across. And I hate the bread that comes with it.

Ok sweetie, the reason why we make fun of you is because we make fun of ourselves more. If your going to make little racist comment like that, you need to not get offended when your own people make fun of you. This is a white person saying this you know that right? Its all in good fun. I don’t do a lot of things that other black people do and my friends always call me white but, hey whatever. Its funny. I own it and they respect that. You are ignorant making comments like that. If you play the stereotype game then you need to play it right ok. Im sure you don’t get offended when you hear our comedians make jokes about black people and laugh. But is obvious you have been wanting to say something like that without getting your ass kicked because you know you will. Own your whiteness sweetie its ok lol!

i think the point this guy (and many of the other people who get mad on here) is trying to make it that it seems soooo ok to constantly hate on white people, and white people are not allowed to get offended or be defensive without being stamped as overly sensitive or a racist. I have to admit some of this stuff on this site is kinda hateful, like every single kind and good thing any light complexioned person does is going to be soley for snobbish and nefarious reasons. As for the white guy who made the site? he mocks all these acts of kindness, responsibility and education (caring about poor people, recycling, and grad school) as just silly things that lame people do to impress other lame people, when all he does with his life is put down other peoples passions on a website and sell books about it. its part of this pathetic trend of apathetic hipsters who put down everything that people care about. fyi as for my background I am half middle eastern and half “white”. And yes I love hummus. if the hummus anyone here has eaten is bland health food it wasnt good hummus. as for the fake food allergy thing, yeah give peanuts to someone (of any race) who has a severe peanut allergy, watch them die of Anaphylactic shock, and then we will see whos crazy.

I am thankful for this site. I don’t really think it’s racist. I think he’s deliberately over-generalizing yuppie culture as white culture. The author takes the perspective of an outsider who knows nothing about yuppie culture. Like if you were a Martian observing the human race, you might understandably mistake white culture for yuppie culture because yuppies are overwhelmingly white. So in that sense I think he’s deliberately pointing out how social class is still largely defined by race.

By the way, I am white, and the reason I identify with this site is that in a lot of ways I am “the wrong kind of white person” which I read to be someone from a less privileged background. I take this site as more of a satire of social class than race, but that also points out, as I stated earlier, that race and social class are often one in the same in America.

I have Celiac Disease and I really hate the trend of people that don’t eat it just because (there are many like that – I have explained to people what celiac is – and it is true a lot of people’s conslusion is that they should just stop eating gluten too – idk why). It makes it much harder for people to take me seriously in restaurants, etc. where cross – contamination is a real issue. People with Celiac can get really really sick from the tinest amount of gluten. Anyway, actually, they have done studies and the most prominent group of people that have Celiac are of Irish descent, so yes, a bunch of white people ;).

I think this dude is right, I’m not entirely sure what constitutes “the wrong kind of what person” but whether or not I am one, this site is still hilariously true. I won’t lie I get somewhat embarrassed when I do fit the mold for some of these things but that doesn’t happen very often so I don’t mind. and I think of this site more of a guide for someone who grew up in an all black neighbor hood who moved to like, san fransico and needed to associate with those people to be socially accepted at work. I could be totally off on that though.

Hey Sista. I wasn’t getting offended, and knowing that a white person originally wrote all this doesn’t change anything. I know it’s all in good fun. I can live with the stereotype that whites are suspicious of good tasting foods. I was just, in good fun, pointing out the well-known stereotype about black people’s disgust with many of the healthy foods that white people supposedly like so much.

What’s this about getting my ass kicked? That seems to be a stereotype that a black person will seek physical vengence against a supposedly racist comment. I know that’s not true, but that violent intimidating streak, originally perpetuated by whites, is one that many blacks openly jest about–almost as a source of pride.

It’s all in good fun. I don’t want to get anything kicked. Anyway, thanks for the straightfoward advice. You seem well meaning.

It’s interesting you bring that up because legally, Arabs and other Americans of Middle Eastern descent are white – at least by law. According to the EEOC, Census and OMB, they are classifed as White. I just read a great book about this. Check it out – John Tehranian’s “Whitewashed”

What the hell is Hummas…. looks like Wall filler to me. Looks like its for Wussys! Try eatin a steak Cooked over some charcoal for once ya wussys, maybe even a nice baked potato or Brauts hell be an american and eat a Fat Hot dog with Chili and Onions for once.. Grow some.

yeah… i guess i like hummus… id rather have some salsa or bean dip or guacamole but if all those are off the table for the light dipping snacking occasion yep hummus works… you get way way more points by having an “authentic” recipe rather than a package.

Tell you “hoe”….6 years ago they just died of lymphoma, organ failure, failure to thrive, or lived shortened lives of general ill health. 10 years ago nobody wore pink ribbons, and breast cancer was a death sentence. Awareness is Good, it saves lives.

It is in fact a disservice that gluten free eating seems to be a “fad”..the faddists can give it up in a month when they get sick of it….us celiacs are stuck with it for life.

Additionally, it is a huge disservce when picky eaters claim to be “allergic” just to get out of eating a food or to make themselves seem unique. Neither one of those two scenarios, however, takes away from the fact that celiac and food allergies do exist and are serious, lifelong conditions.

Oh, and check out celiac in wikipedia if you can absorb the big words. It rarely effects Africans or Asians. White disease. Get used to it.

i’m Lebanese and am very happy that our national dip has been so widely accepted by white people.
But I find it very disturbing that white people do not put olive oil on their hummus. This is a must!
Please sprinkle some olive oil over your hummus the next time you enjoy this middle eastern dish.

If you serve hummus with pita to a group that has a person who is gluten intolerant precautions need to be taken to ensure that cross-contamination does not occur. The simplest way to do this is to serve the gluten free crackers and a separate container of hummus on a separate plate. Otherwise if the pita crumbs get in the hummus and the person who is gluten intolerant ingests the crumbs he or she could get sick, even from that tiny amount.

Your national dip is made of deliciousness. I buy the Sabra brand that already has the olive oil on top of it. I will spread it on anything that stands still long enough to eat. I will dip falafel in hummus, even though this is somewhat akin to frying hummus and dipping it in hummus. I do not care. It’s so good.

I don’t understand why anyone would buy hummus after they’ve discovered they like it. At least in my area, it’s $3.50 for a tub. With total prep time about 2-3 minutes and a few minutes in the blender/food processor, I can make twice the amount for half as much (ergo it costs 4 times more if you buy it).

Though I am not of Lebanese descent I enjoy my hummous with some quality olive oil poured into a depression in the middle and with a sprinkling of freshly chopped flat italian parsley and a dash of powdered sumac. Even better, add a side dish of Lebanese style turnip pickles and olives.

Usually you can find the pre-sliced turnip pickles (they’re hot pink in color due to marination with, among other ingredients, beet juice. I went to a Persian merchant to purchase these and all he had in stock were the whole turnip pickles. When I inquired if he had the sliced variety his response; Don’t you have a knife!

Yeah im white never even heard of hummus. All we eat is heavy filling foods. Tons of meat and potatoes lots of pasta and other italian foods too. Perogies are also a common food in my house. If i ever go out to resturant, its a steakhouse or a BBQ. We eat to enjoy our food not to be healthy, you only live once. The healthiest thing i ate in the last 5 weeks was a chicken salad stacked with french fries. I guess if i want to find the white people described on this website i have to move from my middle class rustbelt town in the pittsburgh region to some rich town in california cause none of these hit home.

“Even the most barren white refrigerator will have a package of the stuff next to an empty Brita filter.”

I laughed so hard because it is true. I’m a college student who relies on Brita pitchers for clean water here (plumbing sucks… and I’m not one of those white people who LIKE water bottles), and I usually have a container of hummus. If it’s not hummus, the other staple to always have a tub around is of Miso paste (more of a ‘thing’ here in Hawaii, I guess.)

noticed this one too…what i love most about it that 1) white people think they are pronouncing it correctly when they are not, as i can confirm as a real Arab person; 2) certain idiots think it is a Jewish food when obviously it is only an Israeli food by virtue of them sharing land with genuine hummus eaters and 3) that they seem fully unaware that to MAKE hummus, you require something called tahina (NOT pronounced tahini), sesame paste. it’s not just a bunch of chickpeas and lemon and garlic.
also, us genuine hummus eaters regard hummus more in the light of a condiment, at best a tiny starter among many, and not a whole genuine party food as white people seem to think.

What you must understand from this book and what the author is trying to say about “white people.”
This book is really about yuppies and how cool they think they are. Not just the white race. The WHITE author isn’t just making fun of his race…he was sterotyping white people.

And what’s funny…..is that they way you talk is EXACTLY how the author makes “WHITE” people talk.

You’ve proved a point. It’s not race…..it’s how far something is up your ass that makes you sound that way.

Um, as a Jew I have to say that forsoothsayer is pretty right on track and just because the author of the site is white doesn’t make what they’re saying any less true. White people , all of us do alot of annoying things out of ignorance.Forsoothsayer is just pointing out things we do….how exactly is that the same as how white people talk? I’m not seeing forsoothsayer saying or doing ignorant things about us and/or our food.

I never was really a fan of hummus anyways, I prefer tahina (which I will now begin to spell with an “a” to be cooler than other white people) sauce.

My, my. You really take this hummus business seriously. I’m white and I knew most of that. And I’m still trying to figure out a way to make homemade tahina, so I don’t have to eat out everytime I get a craving. I have yet to find any edible store bought hummus.

yep…its a funny thing to read and see the comments. the author set up this perfect paradox where people go “im white and I dont do that” emphasizing how personally everyone takes this…which i’m sure one could spin a funny yarn about how white that is. then, those who “call it out” are proving their whiteness by calling out facts and errors. Myself included, my need to provide this explanation in order to cover my own embarrasment for engaging in some of these behaviors is (probably) exceptionally white. and then, we can all embrace our own self-deprication as irony and getting to our humble “roots” (?).

dude, white people, chill…own up, your white! do what you want…lest you be subject to *gasp* a stereotype.

good reads, you got damn near 1000 comments on almost all these posts!

Yeah, I loved your comment about the necessity for “authentic” pronunciation. Go to stainedapron.com and read the comments made by servers about how white people like to authentically mispronounce “ethnic” foods when ordering.

you can buy tahina (or tahini…whatever) at many grocery or specialty stores, most places keep it with the peanut butter, buy canned chick peas, lemon juice, garlic, salt…add to food processor, chopper, or blender and make it yourself. there are thousands of recipes out there, plus it’s much cheaper this way and you can play around with the flavors you like.

It seems like making homemade tahini would be like making homemade peanut butter…and why would you want to do that…??

I ONLY like one BRAND of hummus-or the kind home made by the brown people at the “Festival of Nations” “downtown” “event” —once a year!! So very special!
BTW- Did you find A Capella Books (in Atl) to be especially liked by some white people?

In the late 90s, I was really into hummus in pita pockets cut in quarters with chopped tomatoes and canned chopped black olives. REALLY INTO this. Then I kind of got over it and don’t actively seek hummus but will eat it if a host put it in front of me…gluten free pita and crackers preferred but not required.

You forgot about all the white people who tasted “real hummus” while traveling abroad and will feel it necessary to comment (similarly to beer) thats its just not the same as it was in some Mediterranean or Middle Eastern country. This also serves to say that they don’t have a Middle Eastern complex which they LOVE to have people know.

What about all us “ethnic whites” like Armenians who actually DID grow up eating hummus. You know, it totally weirds us out to see white people eat hummus. No! That’s OUR food! Hands off other white people, that’s for our kind of white people!

Hummus is the new salsa. . . as an A-rab american, hummus is nothing new to me. . .but what weirds me out is when i’m visiting my white friends is seeing flavored hummus–“salt and vinegar” hummus, “sun-dried tomato” hummus–from trader joe’s or whole foods. (hey, are those places on your list?)

p.s. Hummus is an Arabic food (from the Levant–Lebanon, Syria, Palestine, Jordan). . .props to Armenian bros and sisters who make it just as good. . .

This site cracks me up…for those getting offended…this is referring to the upper-class white hipsters who go to Ivy League schools, carry tote bags around, and generally think themselves superior to other people. It’s not the majority of people and it’s not intended to be. It’s about psuedo-intellectuals who put down mainstream society just because being mainstream is automatically disgusting.

My husband is a celiac (allergic to wheat gluten) and we’re both white, but this is the first time I’ve seen celiac disease regarded as a “trendy white thing. ”

It’s a crummy dietary restriction to have, especially if you’re poor, since it rules out the majority of pre-packaged foods that make up the poor diet. Like a lot of poor people in America, we can’t afford vegetables, fruit or meat often, so it means he’s stuck eating rice and beans most of the time, and the specialty gluten-free foods available that you mocked (like pasta, bread, and crackers) are hopelessly beyond our budget.

I know the speciality gluten-free food is stored in the same area as the organics and other alternative foods eaten by typically privileged white people that have the money and education to make moral choices about their eating habits, but other than the shelf location, I am having a hard time seeing what is “trendy” about it. It wasn’t his choice to be a celiac. It’s meant malnutrition for both of us (for him, because a main staple of his diet is gone, for me, because the fresh food we can afford must go to him), and much suffering on both our parts, both physically, financially, and socially. Plus, it sucks to have to ask for ingredients at a restaurant, during the rare times we can afford it, and have the wait staff look at us like we’re deliberately trying to be difficult to handle, or making it up, and gawd what’s wrong with him that he can’t just eat what everybody else eats without becoming violently ill and getting cancer?

Neither can I see clearly what is supposed to be “white” about it. Don’t other races have intolerances? Is it the idea that only a privileged white person could afford the invasive surgery to diagnose celiac disease? If that’s it, fair enough — although we never could afford it either and he remains undiagnosed. But there’s some other sinister implication there, I can’t help but feel, perhaps that a person of color is too tough to be a celiac, or wouldn’t need special accomodations if he or she were.

I’m allowing for the possibility of being so deeply in mired in white privilege that I don’t get it, but I think it could also be that in your haste to make a joke that you spoke about a subject that you don’t really understand.

I’m not sure why you are not surrounded by more people sympathetic to your celiac plight. Two members of my family and several people I know through work have the same problem. All of them officially “undiagnosed” because they don’t want to pay for the test and following the gluten-free diet cleared up their symptoms.

Perhaps it is the “white person”s disease du jour because of our country’s aging demographics? One doctor told us that the “type” is someone of Irish heritage, often blond, and often strikes later in life after events such as child birth or a serious illness.

My mom coped by making bread for my dad and sister. My sister eats Fruity Pebbles cereal for breakfast. My dad is also diabetic and must restrict his phophates but generally speaking as long you eat meat and vegies (including potatoes) this diet can be effectively managed and is not horrendously expensive. You have to make your own salad dressing of oil and vinegar. You can add sugar to many fruits.

Your complaint about expense is nonsensical. Learn to cook with celery and onions. Peppers are also often inexpensive. He can eat turkey polska keilbasa which is great with stir fried vegies and mashed potatoes. You can also buy bags of potatoes dirt cheap so make dishes of potatoes and cheese. Eggs are also cheap. Make omelettes with bacon, turkey, mushrooms and cheese. Yum!

Oh Karen, believe me, over the past five years I’ve learned to cook from scratch (a great skill all on its own) and use what I can — we do eat a lot of potatoes, eggs, homemade popcorn, whole-cooked chickens (when on sale), salad and homemade dressing, homemade bean soups, stews, and such. Even homemade candy like caramel and toffee. It is probably much cheaper than eating from good brand pre-made foods, though terribly time-consuming, but it is still stretching our budget.

The expense isn’t nonsensical so much as it is relative. Consider that sausage for keilbasa is at least $2.50 and would make only a serving or two for one hungry man, when you could get 10 boxes of generic Mac n’ cheese for the same price, or four packages of pasta. Many people would probably consider $2.50 on dinner cheap, but where I grew up that fed a whole family and still needs to.

I think that’s what I was trying to say: that those expensive foods in the “trendy” part of the store don’t represent every celiac. It kind of baffles me that some people might read a “gluten-free” label as pretentious. Trying to avoid having your stomach swell to the proportions of a 9 month pregnant women is not snobbery. =P

Searching online, it appears that gluten-free is a fad diet right now, or at least is perceived as one. I had no idea. Guess that explains some of the snark in the original article.

I had never read the racial statistics on celiac disease, but if you say it’s an Irish thing, I’m ready to believe it. I don’t know his ancestry, but my husband is whiter than white and heavily freckled.

Sadly we don’t know any other celiacs and his parents are only now coming around to the idea that he isn’t making it up. It’s cool to see another person with celiacs in the family, even if only online.

Read the first like 3 posts… anyone who takes this site seriously is dumb. This site is for entertainment. If you don’t like it and are not entertained, why waste you’re time… go find something that DOES entertain you, and everyone including you will be much happier.

I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????

I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE, who only WASTE their money on things like gourmet hummus and pita bread.

Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)

Iris: The comment about Gluten free crackers isn’t directed towards those surreing from celiac;rather, its a tounge-in-cheek reference to those whites who do this as a trendy way to get thin in some way . . .

i know someome EXACTLY like this. she went to Cornell, and she’s a stuck up bitch … i dont like saying that, its mean, but its my free opinion. she needs to be slapped, nobody is better than anybody. and its funny, i have NEVER heard of hummus until i met her hahahahaha.

its funny because i recently came in close encounter with a bunch of white “yuppies” that i had to work with. [i grew up areound white people who didnt want to be white, they were always some kind of mexican, or somehow believed they were black by association, and even the blonde-haired, blue-eyes white girls were 1/8th PUERTO RICAN … hahaha get real] anyways, this site does seem to be for the white “yuppies” [no offense]. i havent heard of many of these things the author speaks about until i met some through work. its funny.

I guess I am the wrong kind of white person, because I do not like hummus and I have tried it. My friends on the other hand are indeed the right type of white people because they enjoy eating hummus and pita bread sandwiches while pointing out how awesome hummus is and how cool you are if you like to eat pita and hummus sandwiches.

Sure, I tried Hummus, Gyros and Kalamari, some good Greek and Cypriot food. Does attending an annual Greek fest count held in the parking lot of a Greek Orthodox church in Palm Desert last March count? To be cultured is one thing, but SWPL doesn’t think you’re cultured if you tried Hummus (I liked it alright) even once! +

Why was hummus served in the Greek festival? I know it has a connection with the Greeks lived in the Levant about 1,000 to 2,000 years ago, I might as well tried Tabouleh, a Middle-eastern food that I wish to eat in a Lebanese or Arabic restaurant…or make at home (mints and tomatoes) by a few simple ingredients. +

As a person with autism, the theory on gluten and red-dyed (red #9) foods should drive me crazy by now. Parents should have their children (autistic or not) watch their sugar, salt and fat intake, and lay off the soda pop (it has caffeine anyway). I must be immune to gluten then, but I avoid alcohol and tobacco from the fact my parents’ family got hurt with that stuff.

Back on topic, I don’t normally eat hummus and prefer mild or medium salsa, I’m saddened to read tabasco and other hot sauces are out of style. The legacy of French settlers in Louisiana (the Cajuns) made a culinary trend in the 1990s. Sweet and sour sauce became a fast food condiment from its’ very presence on Chinese food. If they ever go on sale, most of the Ralph’s store hummus sure looks good. +

MJ, I’m of distant Irish (however, Scotch-Irish or Scottish, but a division of the Hibernian or Gaelic tribes) descent. Why can’t we be friends? We won’t discuss No. Ireland then, and Lebanese are great friends with Jews in America. What the two peoples have in common?: they hate HAMAS. +

Josh, even more east Asians and American Indians have lactose intolerance, as well higher diabetes incidence and hypertension. My Mom’s Cherokee-Osage Indian side has an issue with these things: obesity, hyper- (very high) and hypo-glycemia (very low blood sugar), metabolic disorders and some tribes have alcoholism as a pandemic. The Euro-American introduction of new foods in trade/exchange of indigenous foods from North America, changed not only the diets, but the body mass, weight and height of humans (for example, younger generations of the Japanese today). +

How about going out to a real Arabic/Lebanese/Syrian (and there’s a difference) restaurant? Have their Hummus there.
Might well go to next year’s Greek fest, betcha the Turks and Iranians eat it, and the Armenians are raised on it. And speaking of “ethnic foods”, check out the youtube clip on the Olive Garden skit from MAD TV. Finnessimo!+

yummyhummus…..you are not well versed in geography….white and caucasian are NOT the same in a literal sense. This belief is based on racist propaganda.

Caucasian- (adj.) of the Caucasus, its people, or their culture. 2) Caucasoid 3) designating or of the two independent families of languages spoken in the area of the Caucasus: North Caucasian includes Circassian (Northwest Caucasus), and South Caucasian includes Georgian area. (noun) native of the Caucasus. 2) Caucasoid; 3) the Caucasian languages; Circassian, Georgian, etc.

These areas are NOT near the Middle East, unless Russia has suddenly moved on the world map a few thousand miles south..

Circassians have the most desired women a century ago to European men (head over to #11 “Asian girls”, or more revelance, the wikipedia article on Circassian Beauties), it all started with a medieval sex trade business in the Ottoman empire. These men don’t want hummus, they want wimmin and a few European guys married Circassian women as a result. +

White people don’t eat meat: All those hip, trendy, ecologic vegetarians screaming about pork, like other animals have a face, a soul and bleeds when cooked. Hummus is what it is: no animals are harmed in making the hummus, thank you. +

Historically, the Armenian people inhabited eastern Turkey in regions like Anatolia and Cilicia. There are Armenians by the thousands in Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and Israel in the lands where hummus was long eaten. I understand how Armenians took up hummus like Americans did with burgers and hot dogs from Germany. +

I am such a stereotype. I have hummus in the fridge now and reading this makes me want to eat it! Want to take a look in the refriderator of rich people? Check out my SWPL inspired blog at http://StuffRichPeopleLove.com

i wonder if ill get in trouble if i actually offer them hummus now…i hope they haven’t seen this website yet….well at least thanks to C.Lander white people won’t be unique anymore…i wonder what they’ll move on to to become more progressive.

Hello everybody, I am the asshole using enigmas name to type ignorant nonsense. I know I am a dumbass, but I can’t help myself. If you happen to see enigmas name talking garbage, just disregard it. I am a dumbass, needle dick bitch with no life using other peoples name in vain. I apologize to all.

This whole blog is sooooooo true!!!! I’m vegan and gluten intolerant, so if someone has hummus and gluten free crackers at our anual camping trip (where, by the way, we are all wearing pea coats and scarves while recounting bad memories of high school) I consider them to be a saint!

I’ve been introduced to a lot of things by a couple of my white friends. Now I love hummus, I don’t even buy it because I eat the whole tub in one day 😦
I had some yesterday though at a friend’s house, it was wonderful. Nice and tangy. I recall being very upset when the pita chips ran out and I had to use tortilla chips. lol.

I’m white and I was eating a meal and I offered another white girl hummos insisting she try it. She told me it looks like shit however after trying it she smeared it onto everything! This website is spot on

Ahhhhh….this post gives away the fact that you’re only considering North American white people – Brits don’t give a fuck about hummus unless they are total pansies….phew can breath a sigh of relief – am safely (and happily) the wrong kind of white people,
FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

Yeh but these people do not make good hummus,which should only have 4 or 5 ingredients,but the hummus in ‘white fridges’ (surely most fridges are white ha ha) often has alien ingredients.
And the worst hummus i ever had was at a camp for families of Woodcraft Folk (non gender-segregated,non-competitive largely white middle class version of the scouts usually only to be found in well-to-do neighbourhoods) It contained, wait for it, MAYO!!!!!

Lebanese chefs made the world’s largest hummus dish to surpass the previous record held by Israel, as the two nations are fighting over who originally came up with the idea. I came to believe the dish can evolve in various spots of the Middle East, whether hummus came from Jordan or Syria or Palestine (geopolitically within the state of Israel).

well I’m from the middle east, well “white” but probably not what you call white. Hummus is delicious but I mean it’s not even an appetizer, it’s not even a pre-appetizer, it’s what you serve before even ordering , n I don’t think eating hummus and pita is cool. it’s just good but that’s it !

I am not white but I still feel I am entitled to an opinion. I feel that “white” refers specifically to colonized areas outside of Europe where there may be a smaller, equal, or larger number of other races. It is a way of defining and separating a race when living amongst other races.

No, Ashley is right. The word ‘white’ here does refer to white USAers.
White people that are not USAers look blankly at descriptions of these things. My skin is lily-white but I’ve never heard about half of the books, singers, bands, authors and rituals described.

this is freakin hilarious. I am eating trader-joes organic hummus with little crackers and drinking water from my kitchen water filter out of my metal reusable water bottle. no lie; god I love irony.
I have to admit that as a white person, I like 95% of the things listed on this site.

I was actually introduced to hummus by my ex boy friend which he happens to be of a mixed race, of black, and portuguese. I had never heard of of before I met him, Hmm and wouldnt you know it. I ended up loving it and always have some in the fridge haha. But pita chips are lame. Begal chips is whats up. On another note, I never have met another white person whom knew what hummus was. But nonetheless I loved this entry haha.

OMG my aunt is a white person and she will not eat ANYTHING unless it’s organic, wheat free, gluten free, milk free, nut free, sugar free, caffeine free, spice free…she would not touch Hummus with a ten foot pole- I just don’t dare invite her for any kind of meal!

Hummus? Really? I never knew about this. I feel cheated as a white person. I don’t know anyone that eats hummus (or they never mentioned it to me, anyway). I have met the Glutin-free people though, that’s funny. I guess this explains why some people are horrified at what I eat…

Relax there Charles. The reality is that if you dig a little bit with most of those gluten free types, you won’t find a celiac sufferer. You’ll find a gluten ‘sensitivity’, which really means “I couldn’t come up with a real food allergy, but have a strong need to be viewed as unique and get special treatment, so have decided to be food sensitive”

I’m white and I hate hummus, but I believe disliking hummus also makes me white too. According to one “non-white” friend of mine, I’m a white poser who is secretly dying to be Middle Eastern because I love babaghanoush. On the otherhand, my dislike of lamb and goat meat is a giveaway of my blatant, uncultured whiteness as well : )

Hey umm some of use “Gluten free white people” have to eat this way because we have to due to celiacs!!! but thats ok i’m just saying be carefull about what you say cause if we are going to attack one group attack the cancer people as well ok!

and by the way hummus is the SHIZ like its so easy to make and it tastes AMAZING!!

As a white person, I scorn those who are content to consume store-bought hummus. I prefer to make my own from scratch.

Also, I totally relate to “White Person #1” when it comes to waiters not knowing what’s in the restaurant food. If you ask a waiter if something is vegetarian and they stare at the food itself for their answer, you know they can’t be trusted.

This cracks me up and it’s damned accurate. Hummus, baba, and tabouleh were forced on me as a child growing up in a Lebanese family. You couldn’t give this stuff away 20 years ago to my oh so WASP friends who thought I was “weird” for eating it.

Now, when I go over friend’s houses and see #112 in action time and time again, it never ceases to amuse me. However, they don’t notice that most store bought hummus is crap, but they eat it up like Baskin Robbins’ 32nd flavor.

Yum Hummus. Heheh I like it wrapped up with feta and a little lettuce on a tortilla, or on a bagel. Does that make me muliticultural poser? Then again I like a lot of foods from everywhere, throw me some Iranian Badenjoon (no I can’t spell) and addas Polo or some real Mexican enchiladas or chiles rellenos and I’m content.. and I’d kill myself if I couldn’t eat wheat or gluten or whatever.. WTF kind of life is that? LOL I like this site it makes me smile.

eeerm…I’m from The Netherlands and I fully understand most of these posts and heard about rituals, singers, books and bands desribed. some through movies, some through internet and some through US friends…

I hate to bring up a sobering reality but ‘white’ eating habits (such as hummus) are having a positive impact on the quality and duration of lives. Many ‘non-white’ groups including blacks and Latinos should actually be eating more hummus and playing more tennis or whatever ‘white’ people do – people in my community are getting fatter and are getting diabetes far more often from eating crappy fast food. Hummus is also a ‘fast food’ but won’t take years off your life….

It’s really hard to deal with the “let’s make fun of gluten free eating” trend. I applaud Iris for speaking up.

If one person learns something by reading these comments, it’s worth coming across as someone who needs to lighten up.

Generally, I think this blog is hilarious. I have a dog, I camp, I hate Ed Hardy…and I laughed at all of those posts. I was shocked to read C Lander making fun of a disease. As a humorist, C Lander should not have to stoop so low.

Iris is correct. sure, you can rattle off some specific cost friendly meal options, but it is indisputable that GF eating costs more than mainstream eating. much more. And that is, if you plan out every meal and never go out spontaneously attend social events.

Many nations are addressing celiac more directly than the US, and offer rebates to offset the food costs. I’m sure they crunched the numbers before setting policy on this and aren’t kicking themselves now for not havig asked “karen” for ideas first.

It’s not about toughness. Undiagnosed celiacs don’t die from ‘celiac”, they die of malnutrition, organ failure due to malabsorption, or cancer. Some present a prolonged strain on society by becoming disabled by chronic autoimminue disorders.

Although celiac does in fact strike mostly white people, it seems that even among whites, the detection rate is always higher in high income areas.

Uberbeetle: I’m Armenian. Exact same experiences. I live in CA but am originally from the east coast. When I mentioned to a friend in CA that my cousin back east put hummus out as part of our pre-dinner spread, she commented, “How California!” #Not.

My friend’s girlfriend is allergic to corn, wheat, soy, rice, eggs, casien (whatever that is) and several other things. Making it impossible to feed the girl ANYTHING. She thinks it makes her quirky and unique, everyone else finds it supremely annoying to go anywhere with her. We all kind of wish she’d shut up about it. We get it. You can only eat air.

A waiter is just a waiter… Unless its a high-end fine-dining restaurant, I doubt owners will spend the time and money to fully educate employies (apart from the chefs) about the exact contents of each dish. If one has a very specific allergy, maybe that’s Nature’s way of telling you to fuck off and die because you sure as fuck wouldn’t have survived 100 years ago. Oops! Peanuts! Oops! Eggs! Oops! Shrimps. Give me a fucking break…

I’m black and i laughed to keep from crying about all the things i had done from this list. one time my white friend said ‘do want some hummus?’ and i was like ‘whats hummus?’ and she said ‘uhmmm i love hummus here have some.’ i said ‘no…no i can’t…i dont….no.’ i licked it and was confused. what is it? what is it made from?
and what about blogs. white people love blogs. just keep a journal! but a journal hidden in your underwear drawer garners no attention. that’s another thing white people like. attention. the comments left on this blog make my point and make this blog especially white. on that note this blog is only funny the first time around. then it comes full circle. then it just makes me mad. so, all young people in america like the same things and all of those things are stupid and to hate them makes you pretentious and to like them makes you a hipster. and the only people labeling these things are young people themselves because nobody else cares. is there a site called stuffblackpeoplehate….

At the risk of sounding super white, you have clearly not done your research. Ask any Persian or Turk, they are Caucasian. (Surprisingly) you noted something correctly, which is that many are brown. This is due to a series of invasions, which is why people from the country are blonde and blue. As to the comments about Israelis, many are Caucasion, many are Semitic, many are Muslim, many are from all over the world, and how that is relevant to hummus consumption levels is beyond me.

What about sushi? salsa? or any other “ethnic” food? This is only about ethnic Europeans, the current generation had no recollected memory of a time when Greeks and Italians are considered “not white” by WASPs. What about Matzos? Are they “ethnic”? Oh no, Jewish food is only a “religious” holiday observance. The Japanese, Mexicans and even Arab peoples are labelled with blacks a “people of COLOR”. Like what about hummus again? These people we call Greeks or Turks are tanned Europeans, but not “brown” people. LOL.

You peaked in my recycling bin. Oh no.
You did notice:
The Mitake mushroom wrapper and the endless bottles of Volvic Water, okay, a couple of Acqua Panna, also.
Did you notice the empty Absolute and GreyGoose bottles, also? Not to mention, with pure shame, did you see the organic fresh black-eyed pea wrapper? Urm, how about my imperial jade black rice? Oh and the blueberries. The organic acai coconut water boxes?

Oh no, on the counter, a bunch of other fruits. In a secret drawer. Shallots and stuff that do not like light.

The sin of all, in one cabinet, Chi-chi Italian Olive Oil, Organic grapeseed oil, walnut oil, and Bragg’s apple cider vinegar, I will not admit the rest. I cannot live without Cholula sauce. Steel cut oats. Almonds, Walnuts….it is bad.

This is a god damn crock.
I love hummus.
And no, I’m not white.
It’s not “common knowledge” that ‘all and only whites’ love hummus– if you happen to be white and eat hummus now and then, so be it. This whole damn SITE is just perpetuating stereotypes. So WHAT if you’ve seen white people doing ‘x’ thing/activity lately? Is it so inherently amazing that you have to blog about it? And SO WHAT if WHITE PEOPLE like to blog? A lot of people like to blog! Black, white, purple, green, indigo, yellow, brown, burnt sienna. I can’t believed you’ve dedicated an entire fucking site to the degradation of ONE race.

Have you heard of “Blaxpoitation”?

You’re doing the same thing. No, not in reverse. (I hate when people call it, “reverse racism.” Racism is racism.) You’re doing the SAME thing. It’s just…asinine.

Tahini is fattening, but the most extrodinary “hummus” can be made without it in 5 minutes and everything can be purchased at Trader Joe’s.

1 Can Garbanzo Beans
1 Roasted Red Bell Peppers – (they come in a glass jar, but just use about one full peppers worth AND you get to use chopsticks to pull them out of the jar)
3 Cloves of garlic (sorry to those that don’t also eat it)
Enough olive oil to make it the right consistency

Put that all in your food processor and right before being done add Paprika and Cayenne Pepper to taste and process until just right by adding bits more olive oil.

*if you really want to be cool, buy dry beans, soak and cook them yourself instead of using canned.

Thank God “white people” love this stuff. Growing up, my mom home-made it all the time and I remember it being quite labor intensive for her. Now, thanks to the eating habits of affluent white people, I need only go to my local corner store or supermarket to get quite good hummus just like Mom used to make!

There are just some white people who are very open minded ( Younger generation of Jews ) that will indulge in hummus, but I must say that the idea of mashed chickpeas kind of scares everyone that isn’t of Middle Eastern or Muslim heritage. I don’t think this is a do.

“It reminds them of home since at any given time a white person has hummus in their fridge. Even the most barren white refrigerator will have a package of the stuff next to an empty Brita filter.” This sounds ig’nant.

Canola is a made up euphemism because Americans are scared they’ll giggle like grade school boys on reading or hearing “rape oil.” Canola oil is the edible oil of the rape plant. There is no such plant as canola.

thanks for being so specific, its good to know how open minded the younger generation of jews is, and that me not being related to any middle eastern culture probably rules me as more narrow minded and closed to exotic food…

Paul, it’s the P.C. police at it. The “rape” plant is called the Canola in the US, because of the botanists received threats by feminists and women’s rights groups over how offensive the term is to women (or so they say/speak for). Next, they will rename the grape into “wine nuts” or something dumb.

This will not work for much longer, as people come to realize that consumption of legumes for Northern Europeans leads to sinus problems which can become so bad they seem like migraines. Like lactose intolerance, there is a protein intolerance in legumes that affects many “white people”. So you’re going to have to fall back on the foods that white people are REALLY hoping you’ll serve, and that would be ribs, cornbread, and your grandmother’s greens with likker. Seriously, dish it up, because we can’t figure out how to cook those dishes right ourselves.

I was thinking today how much white people seem to love talking about/having allergies. I think an allergy post would be a riot. I have a gluten-free friend, and she will mope about the fact that we’re going out for Italian, but if she “wants bread,” then she will go ahead and have three pieces and does not burst into flames. I feel sort of left out because I’m not allergic to anything but an antibiotic. But so proud to have that one allergy!

It’s sad. My entire stinkin’ family of 5 are allergic to wheat/ gluten intollerant. I have the worst allregic reactions to it It’s a genetic trait – which explains why it really is mostly white people. lol. If you really want to impress a white person, buy gluten free brownie mix from Trader Joes! You don’t have to make it, just sit it on the counter and even non-glutem free white people will have a conversation with you about how “aware” you are.

I am white and dislike Hummus and Falafel. I bought Hummus once, a quality brand, took one bite and threw it out! I also
tried Falafel from a reputable place and gave the rest to my friend who was sitting with me.

I am a very good cook, a senior at this point, and am honest to a fault and don’t really care who doesn’t like it.

I enjoy excellent home cooking, great burgers, Sauerbraten and potato dumplings, fried potatoes and onions, apple pie, etc. I am willing to try just about anything and don’t really care what’s “current” and “trendy” and what’s not. If I were starving, I would eat Hummus and Falafel and under no other
circumstances.

And I’m pretty sure the point of this wasn’t completely about white people eating hummus, it’s about “that guy” or “that girl” who will be an inconvenience for everyone because they’re way too uptight about eating foods that

a) are foreign
b) have ingredients that they just don’t trust.

I’ve had to deal with this PLENTY of times. Can’t go for sushi, can’t go for Indian, can’t go for pho … all because my (white) friends didn’t eat raw fish, don’t like the smell of curry or are suspicious of hoisin and star anise.

Because you don’t want them barfing on your floor? Or going into anaphylaxis in your house? Or because you like them otherwise? Or to minimize them telling you about the horrid blisters or farts or whatever it is that gave them a reason to avoid certain food?

Just deal with it. Kind of like dealing with people who are different from you in other ways…

What ticks me off about this whole exotic health food craze is that I just can’t relate to it much. I am a southern girl, so I like down-home stuff like fried catfish, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, etc. etc. So I go into work and people are talking about what they had for dinner the night before and they are practically orgasming over descriptions of vegan salads and pita with hummus and I’m like ftw? It’s one thing to eat healthy foods because you want to be healthy, but don’t try to pretend like it’s drool-worthy!

The word semitic is referring to a group of languages from the middle east, it is not a race. You are however right about Israelis who are very mixed with admixtures of different white or middle eastern genes. Also right about Persians and Turks, a lot of northern middle easterners are recognized as Caucasian despite their Arabic ancestry ( I.E. Arabid, Iranid, Turanid, and some Armenoid). It is beyond me however that white people fail to recognize this and still despite the scientific assertion they act indifferently toward their own people. A lot are brown in skin tone however this could be a much towards any ignorant white persons dismay. Hummus originated in the middle east though, it is an Arabic dish, that got bogged down into Israeli ownership? I don’t exactly understand that. But this should be broadened to middle eastern food instead. Everything from Turkish to Indian cuisine and Halal tastes absolutely amazing, also abundantly accessible in small town white neighborhoods and always in white cities.

I made a really tasty Thai green curry chicken dish with coconut milk for some white people. One white guest was a vegetarian, and I couldn’t make a version without meat anyway because he won’t eat fish sauce, which is essential to Thai food; the second couldn’t eat tomatoes because he’s allergic; the third couldn’t eat peppers because he’s allergic to that. A fourth couldn’t eat it because not only is coconut cream too fattening for them, but they also won’t eat rice because it’s a carbohydrate and they follow only the Atkins diet.

White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.

This white girl enjoys high fructose corn syrup and pork in moderation, and doesn’t have any food allergies (but lies about a strawberry allergy to avoid eating them). I’m enjoying carrot sticks and lots of hummus right now. It’s so freakin good!

I have a blog http://www.hummusgirl.com about all things hummus and I must say I love your writing about hummus. If you ever want to know the inner workings of a mind truly devoted to hummus, look me up!

I don’t understand. You first comment on the arrogance of the elite/affluent, yet refer to yourself as “white and upper middle class.” So you agree with the blogger, then, yes?
Hmm, and that would automatically lump you into a category where you are labeled as some smarmy, autocratic, pretentious dickweed, correct?
Hey, that’s RIGHT!
Well, satirically speaking.
But this is all just for laughs, so no biggie!

Anyone who has issues with talking to wait staff should man up and learn to ask a polite question. And learn to deal with a couple of lettuce-leaf dinners now and again.
Anyone who has issues with a friend being unwilling to eat at a place they don’t like should chill the hell out.

Sigh. This blog really should be called Stuff Hipsters Like. There are so many other white stereotypes besides the ones presented here. I’m 75% white, most of my friends are white, and there are only a few things on this list that I’m into. Hummus is one of them, but that’s because being 25% non-white, I grew up eating it.

Today while hiking one the many trails that run through the liberal hippie mountain college town where I reside, I was passed by three white people riding their bikes while wearing overpriced outdoor performance clothes and discussing their plans later on to – quote – “make some bomb hummus.” It was like this website came to life right in front of my eyes.

lol what about the white middle eastern people like israeli’s, turkish, lebanese etc who have hummus as a national food and eat it regularly? alot of your stuff is obviously aimed at anglo-english background white people. love it though.

I was just talking to another graduate student about this. When I first went to the departmental parties I had no idea what Hummus was and asked a few people. I was immediately swarmed by several white people telling me about how AMAAAAAZING hummus was and their favorite brands/flavors/pita chips. The passion in which they talked about hummus made me want to try it, and when I did, it of course didn’t taste good at all. I’ve never seen a group of people so passionate about a food. I think the reason they liked it so much was because it showed they were “worldly” as opposed to some nacho cheese dip and Doritos. When multiple people started talking about it, they started doing brand comparisons and one-upping each other one obscure brands and flavors. I love how accurate this site is sometimes.

I guess I’m not the right kind of white person to like hummus, even though I AM in graduate school (that entry was pretty funny as well).

Dude… I read your complete list… you’re not really describing white people… just yuppies (who are characteristically white) I’m pretty sure me and my liberal arts grad student friends, who like to hang out in Seattle, and such, love most of those things. My parents (who are very white), on the other hand, or my military sister, would hate most of those things.

My family is white, we all love hummus, and across our household we have a *tremendous* panel of dietary restrictions — including one (pretty serious) wheat allergy! So what do we go through on all the holidays? Tons of hummus, pita, and gluten free crackers.

AWWWWWW YEAH!!!

For bonus white points, we often get the pita crackers from Trader Joe’s rather than just eating regular pita.

Hummus is alright, I laughed at the allergy portion mostly because I have food allergies. Tree nuts, fish, and celery otherwise I eat literally everything. Gotta love blood pudding, etc., but then again I didn’t grow up in the states. Americans whine too much about food.

I’m not offended by what’s on the list: I’m offended by what’s NOT on the list. I’m white, and I love fried chicken and watermelon. Every white person I know LOVES fried chicken and watermelon. I don’t see either of those on the list. By the way, what is an Assist (#4)? Someone has called me anal. That doesn’t make sense though. Who likes anal people?

Shit like this kinda pisses me off. I know no white people that like hummus. I can tell some egotistical black person wrote this. Which is fine, Hummus is just gross, and I am white! LOL “Stuffwhitepeoplelike” I have found nothing on this that white people do like. Am I not white? Oh and Chinese food is awesome.

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This is sooooo funny! I’m eating hummus for the first time & I’m not in love with it nor do I hate it. I can pronounce all the ingredients on the container and it’s a “healthy” snack, which overrides the taste. I can deal for now. But, I’d rather dip these unpleasant tasting croutons…I mean…pita chips, in some greek yogurt instead. :o/

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Look,I am white as a ghost and I aint never had no mutha truckin hummus in my fridge.So no,as in,hell no,not all white people like hummus.Im from the south and you better have some real food on the table.

I hate the name of it, it sounds like something that you get when you are Sick. or, it sounds like some body part that is infected. I might want to try it but the name hummus sounds horrible. Who thought of Hummus? Why not call it chick pea did? or, bean dip. Why Hummus

This article is so racist! I am white and I just Googled “Why do people like hummus?” And I come across this racist crap!?! Newsflash I don’t like hummus, but according to you I must not be the right kinda white person?!? Your ignorance abounds and I still don’t like hummus. Idiot!

That’s the dumbest thing I ever read humus is disgusting no matter you’re race I’m half white and can’t stand that shit my mom is white and we never ate that shit growing up honestly I thought it was a black food….

Well white people love to be adventurous. It’s a reason many whites love to venture to Middle Eastern, Ethiopian and Indian restaurants. White people’s ultimate adventure is eating exotic foods and then suffering from allergies and hot sweats as a result. White people love hummus because it’s something different and sounds healthy compared to mayonnaise (which white people also love). Most manufactured hummus is not healthy for you, it’s just fat cream. Peanut butter is far more nutritional. But, ignorance is bliss and the cost of hummus totally solidifies it as a high quality product. Also, most of the white people who use hummus as some novelty item are unaware of its simplistic ingredients, consisting of chicken pea, tahini and lots of garlic. The Sabra classic hummus is a very popular choice among whites, even though it is one of the least healthy hummus out there. It’s high in sodium, high in fat (especially saturated fat), and it is rife with artificial ingredients. You will find it particularly amusing when a white girl after an hour of cardio will eat this fat-enriched paste on a bagel, thinking she’s eating energy food when in actuality, she has just diminished her workout. White people will also incessantly hype about how great tasting hummus is, when it’s really the most bland, plain tasting thing ever. Hummus is another perfect example, that something exotic and unique with a tangy taste can sell very well with whites. You could manufacture some dogshit, call it DumbUs which will look very similar in color and taste with Hummus…and there will be white people who buy. It’s just an inherently white quality.

This is such a false opinionated article. I’m Caucasian and I had never even heard of hummus until after 21 years and I saw my Asian friend eating it. If this is so common for white people to eat then why has it taken me 21 years to hear about it.