4 YEARS AGO | Nolan Vining’s Adoption

Nolan Vining…

4 years ago yesterday, we had two kids. Ty took them to the movies so I could be lazy. The LEGO movie, to be exact, and his phone was on silent. I was trying to talk myself into taking a shower because I was badly in need of one… and my phone rang.

“There’s a mom here who wants to meet you… her baby boy is 3 months old. How quick can you get here?” It was a call we knew could come any time, and yet it was so crazy it was actually happening in that moment. I called Ty over and over and he didn’t answer.

I quickly realized I’d have to get up there alone (with no time to wash my greasy hair). I drove way over the speed limit and prayed the whole time.

When I got to the parking lot I felt like I was going to poop my pants… I might be meeting our BABY. And he was already born, 3 months old, oh my gosh, and he could be our baby. And I’m meeting him alone and Ty doesn’t even know it’s happening! This isn’t how I pictured this going – how weird.

I walked in and saw his sweet birth mom and I instantly loved her and felt fiercely protective of her. I asked if I could hold him and she so sweetly said of course. He was tiny, he was wearing yellow duck pajamas, his head was flat as a board, and he had the HUGEST eyes I had ever seen. He fell right asleep on my chest. We talked for awhile.

My phone rang and it was Ty. I told him to head up to CPO as soon as he could. He dropped the kids with our friends and ran home (I don’t remember why?) and later I got to hear the story of him locking his keys in our bedroom and kicking down the door of our bedroom to get them so he could get to us.

It’s so weird that little baby was Nolan. It seems like a billion years ago.

The next day, we met with his birth mom again at Panera bread and we snuggled him some more while we talked to her.

The day after that, I was at ballet with Story and my phone rang. “You have a son, he’ll be home in 2 hours.” Adrenaline. Tears. Buying diapers and fumbling and guessing over sizes like it was my first time.

His birth mom stayed over for a long time… we weren’t ready for her to leave, we loved her so much. At one point she and I sat on my bed watching Pretty Little Liars (I think?) with Noley passed out between us and I remember thinking “open adoption is the coolest thing EVER.”

I drove her home. I cried gut wrenching sobs all the way back. I wondered if it was truly right to take another woman’s baby from her arms. I hated the brokenness of the world. I prayed.

When I got home, Nolan was asleep on our bed next to 2 year old Story who was also asleep. Ty had gotten them to sleep and was staring at them. He and I kept saying “this is so weird! He’s just ours?! Look at him. He’s so perfect. Oh my gosh, look at him. This is so wild. This is the craziest.”

What a day. We are so in love with this gorgeous, organized, emotional, matter-of-fact, super hero loving, quirky kid.

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