Sunday, November 11, 2007

Grand Old Police Blotter: One Down, Countless to Go Edition

Representative Bob Allen is the latest Republican to flush his career down the toilet while looking for love. The Florida Republican plans to appeal on the ground that the jury was comprised of scary-looking black men.

And in the on dick circle, Glenn Murphy Jnr.:

The former chairman of the Clark County Republican Party was charged yesterday with criminal deviate conduct, a Class B felony that could land him in prison for six to 20 years if he is convicted.

Glenn Murphy Jr., 33, is accused of performing oral sex on a sleeping man following a July 28 party at a home in Jeffersonville.

Murphy turned himself in for an initial hearing in Clark Superior Court yesterday and was later freed on $25,000 bond. Judge Vicki Carmichael set a trial date of April 1.

Murphy, who was also chairman of the Young Republican National Federation, resigned from both posts when the allegations were made public in August.

Jury foreperson: "We find the defendant, Glenn Murphy, not guilty."

"April Fools!"

Mr. Murphy will not make the most convincing or articulate witness on his own behalf:

The affidavit states that on the tape, Murphy tells the man he thought the man had been "coming on" to him and that the following exchange took place between the two:

"I thought that you were awake. It's my fault," said Murphy. "I'm not laying this off on you. I'm trying to explain what happened."

"I don't know, dude," the man replied. "Yeah, I don't know how you can possibly think that it was OK to do that, honestly."

Remembrance Day

If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs, Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, My friend, you would not tell with such high zest To children ardent for some desperate glory, The old Lie: Dulce et Decorum est Pro patria mori. -- Wilfred Owen

Friday, November 09, 2007

The super observant and abundantly qualified Director of Immigration and Customs Enforcement speaks:

The employee wore dreadlocks, dark makeup and prison stripes. [Julie] Myers and two other managers awarded him "most original costume" and Myers posed for a photo with him.

"Although I was not aware at the time of the contest that the employee disguised his skin color, I believe that it was inappropriate for me to recognize any individual wearing an escaped prisoner costume," Myers said.

Of course, this is utter bullshit. Meyers couldn't tell the guy was a white guy wearing makeup and fake dreadlocks, even though she was close enough to pose for a photograph with him? She must be damn confident that all traces of the photo have disappeared forever. And what precisely is an "escaped prisoner costume," as opposed to a prisoner costume? Meyers was able to make that (non-existent ass-covering) distinction but too stupid to suss out the guy's race?

Thursday, November 08, 2007

The Founder Of Spike TV Says Chicks Dig A Guy With A Mullet

The pinheads at Newsbusters and various other remedial reading holdbacks are wetting themselves over the news that "the founder of the Weather Channel" !!! is a global warming denier. Here's Coleman's powerful and persuasive pitch:

By John Coleman

It is the greatest scam in history. I am amazed, appalled and highly offended by it. Global Warming; It is a SCAM. Some dastardly scientists with environmental and political motives manipulated long term scientific data to create an allusion [sic] of rapid global warming. Other scientists of the same environmental whacko type jumped into the circle to support and broaden the "research" to further enhance the totally slanted, bogus global warming claims. Their friends in government steered huge research grants their way to keep the movement going. Soon they claimed to be a consensus [sic].

Environmental extremists, notable politicians among them, then teamed up with movie, media and other liberal, environmentalist journalists to create this wild "scientific" scenario of the civilization threatening environmental consequences from Global Warming unless we adhere to their radical agenda. Now their ridiculous manipulated science has been accepted as fact and become a cornerstone issue for CNN, CBS, NBC, the Democratic Political Party, the Governor of California, school teachers and, in many cases, well informed but very gullible environmentally conscientious citizens. Only one reporter at ABC has been allowed to counter the Global Warming frenzy with one 15 minute documentary segment.

It's a safe bet that the wingnut chumps touting this poorly-written screed wouldn't know who John Coleman is if his toupee came along and bit them on the ass.

Coleman might give himself credit for "founding" The Weather Channel, but, by his own admission, he wasn't bright enough to keep from getting screwed out of his interest in the channel. The channel was dismal failure when Coleman was in charge.

The man is a crank who reads the weather forecast off a TelePrompter. He doesn't offer any science -- or even any "science" -- to support his position, nor does he offer any proof to support his conspiracy allegations. And the lemmings in the wingnutosphere follow him over a cliff simply because he "founded" a basic cable teevee station. I look forward to their similar deference to Ted Turner, Mark Cuban and Vice President Al Gore.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Grand Old Police Blotter: It's Kerik Time Edition

Rudy Giuliani's right-hand bagman is about to get 9-11 years in the federal pen, if there's any justice:

Federal prosecutors will ask a grand jury today to indict Bernard B. Kerik, the former New York police commissioner, on charges that include tax fraud, corruption and conspiracy counts, according to people who have been briefed on the case.

The grand jury, convening in Westchester County, has heard evidence about Mr. Kerik for about a year as part of a broad federal inquiry into a variety of issues, including his acceptance of $165,000 in renovations from a contractor who was seeking a city license.

Prosecutors are also seeking to charge Mr. Kerik, 52, with failing to report as income more than $200,000 in rent that they say was paid on his behalf to use a luxury Upper East Side apartment where he lived with his family around the time he left his city post, the people briefed on the case said.

Kerik previously served the Bush Administration by training Iraqi police in the finer points of accepting bribes, disposing of bodies and running away.

But how hard can prison be, compared to sleeping with Judith Regan? If you cut a deal now, Bern, maybe you can bunk with George Ryan and Connie Black.

In the same year, he transferred to Korea, "I ended up at the headquarters command of the First Marine Division," says Robertson. "The Division was in combat in the hot and dusty, then bitterly cold portion of North Korea just above the 38th Parallel later identified as the 'Punchbowl' and 'Heartbreak Ridge.' For that service in the Korean War, the Marine Corps awarded me three battle stars for 'action against the enemy.'"

However, former Republican Congressman Paul "Pete" McCloskey, Jr., who served with Robertson in Korea, claimed that Robertson was actually spared combat duty when his powerful father, a U.S. Senator, intervened on his behalf, claiming that instead Robertson spent most of his time in an office in Japan. According to McCloskey, his time in the service was not in combat but as the "liquor officer" responsible for keeping the officers' clubs supplied with liquor.

Marion The Barbarian

Rudy Giuliani, who is running for President of 9/11*, has picked up the endorsement of the man who agreed that the terrorist attacks were retribution for America's acceptance of "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the American Civil Liberties Union and the People For the American Way."

The question is simple: Does Giuliani agree with Marion G. Robertson that God destroyed the World Trade Towers and the thousands of men and women inside them? Judging by this photo, Rudy is perfectly happy with the idea that the thousands who perished in his city be remembered as Holy Road Kill.

Says Rude: "I am very encouraged by Pat's support ... His confidence in me means a lot. His experience and advice will be a great asset to me and my campaign."

On January 2, 2007, during the 700 Club show, Robertson said that God spoke to him and told him that "mass killings" were to come during 2007, due to a terrorist attack on the United States. He added "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Oh, if only we could get Alan Dershowitz to torture God to prevent that ticking time bomb. And if we can't find God, we'll just have to beat His secret location out of Marion.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

"The White House under Bill and Hillary Clinton was a moral and political slum, where a decent woman could be molested in the Oval Office and defamed and harassed when she complained. It's shocking to think that the crooked partnership could ever be allowed back into our Executive Mansion and Kathleen Willey has done a great service by reminding us so vividly of what it was like last time"

— Christopher Hitchens, author of No One Left to Lie To: The Values of the Worst Family

And don't miss Kathy, Hitch and I: A Reunion, coming soon on a very special edition of Hardball.

Fox and Fluffers

Trying to encourage his studio to hurry up so an interview could start, Carl Cameron of Fox News said into his microphone: "The next president of the United States has a schedule to keep." Standing beside him, a deadpan Mr Thompson interjected: "And so do I."

As some Thompson aides looked bemused and others cringed, a taken-aback Mr Cameron, Fox's chief political correspondent, exclaimed: "You can't do that kind of stuff!"

No wonder Huckleberry spends so little time campaigning. He's set up his front porch in the Faux News studios.

Monday, November 05, 2007

The Dumbpowder Plot

If it takes a egomanical Texan with a bunch of drooling nutjob followers to get a Democrat back in the White House, so be it.

Historians and British schoolchildren remember Guy Fawkes as the Roman Catholic, anti-Protestant rebel who on Nov. 5, 1605, tried to assassinate King James I by blowing up the Parliament. Supporters of the Republican primary campaign of the libertarian Representative Ron Paul may remember Fawkes as a wildly successful fund-raising gimmick.

On Monday, a group of Paul supporters helped raised more than $4.07 million in one day — approaching what the campaign raised in the entire last quarter — through a Web site called ThisNovember5th.com, a reference to the day the British commemorate the thwarted bombing.

It's also nice to see so many prizewinning chumps fleeced of their hardly-earned dollars. The Republican Party will never let an anti-war candidate get anywhere the nomination. Big War calls the shots, boys, and you just ask "how high." If you want any return on your investment, third party is the only way to go. Do it for the country.

It's Guiliani Time

A cascade of questions followed about [Kerik's] judgment as a public official, not least that he had inappropriately lobbied city officials on behalf of Interstate Industrial, a construction firm suspected of links to organized crime. Mr. Giuliani defended Mr. Kerik, a friend and business partner, whom he had recommended to the Bush administration. But he also tried to shield himself from accusations that he had ignored Mr. Kerik's failings.

"I was not informed of it," Mr. Giuliani said then, when asked if he had been warned about Mr. Kerik's relationship with Interstate before appointing him to the police post in 2000.

Mr. Giuliani amended that statement last year in testimony to a state grand jury. He acknowledged that the city investigations commissioner, Edward J. Kuriansky, had told him that he had been briefed at least once. The former mayor said, though, that neither he nor any of his aides could recall being briefed about Mr. Kerik’s involvement with the company.

But a review of Mr. Kuriansky’s diaries, and investigators' notes from a 2004 interview with him, now indicate that such a session indeed took place. What is more, Mr. Kuriansky also recalled briefing one of Mr. Giuliani's closest aides, Dennison Young Jr., about Mr. Kerik's entanglements with the company just days before the police appointment, according to the diaries he compiled at the time and his later recollection to the investigators.

The additional evidence raises questions not only about the precision of Mr. Giuliani's recollection, but also about how a man who proclaims his ability to pick leaders came to overlook a jumble of disturbing information about Mr. Kerik, even as he pushed him for two crucial government positions.

"Rudy can fall for people big time, and sometimes qualifications are secondary to loyalty," said Fran Reiter, a former Giuliani deputy mayor who now supports Hillary Clinton. "If he gets it in his head he trusts you, he is extremely loyal."

Giuliani employs his childhood friend Monsignor Alan Placa as a consultant at Giuliani Partners despite a 2003 Suffolk County, N.Y., grand jury report that accuses Placa of sexually abusing children, as well as helping cover up the sexual abuse of children by other priests. Placa, who was part of a three-person team that handled allegations of abuse by clergy for the Diocese of Rockville Centre, is referred to as Priest F in the grand jury report. The report summarizes the testimony of multiple alleged victims of Priest F, and then notes, "Ironically, Priest F would later become instrumental in the development of Diocesan policy in response to allegations of sexual abuse of children by priests."

Five years after he was suspended from his duties because of the abuse allegations, Placa is currently listed as "priest in residence" at St. Aloysius Church in Great Neck, N.Y., where close friend Brendan Riordan serves as pastor, and officially lives at the rectory there with Riordan. In addition, Placa co-owns a penthouse apartment in Manhattan with Riordan, the latest in a half-dozen properties the two men have owned in common at various times since the late 1980s.

Placa has worked for Giuliani Partners since 2002. As of June 2007, he remains on the payroll. "He is currently employed here," Giuliani spokeswoman Sunny Mindel confirmed to Salon, adding that Giuliani "believes Alan has been unjustly accused." Mindel declined to discuss what role Placa plays with the consulting firm, or how much he is paid. Says Richard Tollner, who testified before the grand jury that Placa had molested him, "[Giuliani] has to speak up for himself and explain himself. If he doesn't, people shouldn't vote for him." Adds Anne Barrett Doyle, co-director of BishopAccountability.org, which tracks suspected priest abuse, "I think Rudy Giuliani has to account for his friendship with a credibly accused child molester."

When Rudolph Giuliani appointed a task force on police-community relations last summer, you didn't have to be a seer to know it was a spin. He wanted to take some of the heat off himself in the horrified wake of what happened to Abner Louima in the 70th Precinct.

Having now pushed the commission to disband, Giuliani--as a New York Times headline put it -- "sneered" at the commission's mild majority report. Surprised at the backlash to his arrogance, he said later he could have been more gracious in his response to his vassals.

But as usual, Giuliani has had his own way. The commission is dead, and he will continue to fight any attempt, including by the City Council, to allow the existence of an independent review board over the police. Giuliani deeply believes that only the police can credibly make the police accountable for brutality and corruption.

Being tough on crime is the easiest thing in the world. Being tough on your cronies' crimes is another matter. And Rudy is weak as water when it comes to his cronies' crimes.

And that's where the problems lies. We currently have an Administration that's tough on crime, except for the crimes committed by the Administration, its advocates and its allies. With Rudy, it will be worse. In a Guiliani Administration, Rudy will be his own Abu Gonzales.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Roger's Hollywood Minute

A new film, Before The Devil Knows You're Dead, is getting uniformily rave reviews. Here's a representative critique from Roger Ebert (and one that doesn't give up too much of the plot, unlike the NYT review):

Sidney Lumet's "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead" is such a superb crime melodrama that I almost want to leave it at that. To just stop writing right now and advise you to go out and see it as soon as you can. I so much want to avoid revealing plot points that I don't even want to risk my usual strategy of oblique hints. You deserve to walk into this one cold.

Yet that would prevent my praise, and there is so much to praise about this film. Let me try to word this carefully. The movie stars Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ethan Hawke as brothers -- yes, brothers, because although they may not look related, they always feel as if they share a long and fraught history. Hoffman plays Andy, a payroll executive who dresses well and always has every hair slicked into place, but has a bad drug habit and an urgent need to raise some cash. Hawke plays Hank, much lower on the financial totem pole, with his own reasons for needing money; he can't face his little girl and admit he can't afford to pay for her class outing to attend "The Lion King." Hank looks more like the druggie, but you never can tell.

Andy suggests they solve their problems by robbing a jewelry store....

...

And it doesn't simply go wrong, it goes wrong with an aftermath we care about. This isn't a movie where the crime is only a plot, and dead bodies are only plot devices. Its story has deeply emotional consequences. That's why an actor with Albert Finney's depth is needed for an apparently supporting role. If he isn't there when he's needed, the whole film loses. As for Hoffman and Hawke, so seemingly different but such intelligent actors, they pull off that miracle that makes us stop thinking of anything we know about them, and start thinking only of Andy and Hank.

This is a movie, I promise you, that grabs you and won't let you think of anything else. It's wonderful when a director like Lumet wins a Lifetime Achievement Oscar at 80, and three years later makes one of his greatest achievements.

A film that's not based on a toy, or a cartoon, or a cartoon about a toy. One that doesn't star Angelina Jolie as Grendel's mother or Vince Vaughn as Santa's brother. One that has scenes from a mall but not a crappy screenplay.

And here's the best part: One of the producers is Brian Linse, proprietor of the Ain't No Bad Dude blog. Here's hoping that the movie is a success beyond Brian's wildest expectations, and that he lets me hold his Oscar (TM -AMPAS).

It was originally called "Coons for Power," judging from the Web address for the blog entry, which uses those words, and according to the Indianapolis blogosphere.

One blogger wrote that the piece originally compared the council president to "Zip Coon, a derogatory, racial slur on black men dating to the days of slavery."

Return to the wingnutosphere, Mr. Biddle. You'll soon be rolling in links from Instacracker and his pals. And thousands of comments about how unfair it is that white folks -- and conservatives -- just can't use some perfectly good words.

Newly released police investigative reports allege a state representative dressed up as a woman and engaged in an oral sex act at a Spokane Valley adult bookstore before later rendezvousing at a downtown hotel for another sexual encounter with a man now under investigation for extortion, according to today's edition of The Spokesman-Review.

Here's more from today's Spokesman-Review story:

The suspect in the investigation, identified in police and court documents as 26-year-old Cody Michael Castagna, of Medical Lake, told detectives he was offered $1,000 to have unprotected sex with State Rep. Richard Curtis, a Republican from La Center, which is near Vancouver.

Castagna, a part-time porn model, has been featured in explicit photo shoots posted on some members-only gay Web sites.

Curtis, who was in Spokane for a leglislative trip, earlier spoke with an editor of The Columbian and denied having had sex with a man and said he was not gay.

An employee at the porn store told detectives Curtis has been in the business three times in the last month and is called "the cross-dresser" by employees. The same employee said she was told by Curtis he is gay and likes to dress in women's underwear.

During questioning by Spokane Police detectives, Castagna said he saw a man later identified as Curtis in Hollywood Boutique early last Friday "wearing long red women's stockings and black sequined lingerie." Castagna later told detectives he saw a 40-ish man with a cane performing oral sex on the legislator, according to the police reports.

Later, the legislator gave his phone number to Castagna before leaving the adult bookstore at 9611 E. Sprague, the reports say.

Curtis then went to Northern Quest Casino in Airway Heights before getting a phone call from Castagna. The two agreed to meet at the Davenport Towers where the legislator, visiting Spokane on legislative business, had a room.

Once the two arrived in the legislator's hotel room, "Curtis gave the male $100," before the two engaged in sex acts, the police reports say.

Detectives seized pillowcases and bed sheets from the room and surveillance video from the hotel's lobby, the documents say.

Cody Castagna apparently is not related to Malkin enthusiast/anthrax terrorist Chad Castagana, as they have different last names and different hazmat evidence collection protocols associated with their activites.

Meanwhile, perhaps Cap'n Ed can urge impressionable young women of his acquaintance to select more wholesome and decorous role models, such as his friend Pam Oshry.

Another example is the hacking of our friend Jonah Goldberg. His forthcoming book "Liberal Fascism" was hacked at Amazon.com, reports Editor and Publisher. The working subtitle is "The Secret History of the American Left from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning." The hacker changed it to "The Totalitarian Temptation from When I Got My Advance Until I Finally Hand in the Manuscript in 2011." It was still carrying the joke subtitle when I just checked.)

I think Jonah would admit that's mildly humorous. His book has had several subtitles, and he didn't enjoy one that included Hillary Clinton. (Brent Bozell asked to the change the subtitle of our book Whitewash, and Crown Forum has delayed its release several times from its original date in September 2006, so book buyers should know it's a collaborative process with the publisher.) But the hacker is making Amazon look as bad as Goldberg does.

Nothing can make Amazon look as bad as its continuing characterization of Goldberg's bat-droppings as a "book."

Regarding Griffin, the Young Americans for Freedom invited the New Right Nazi to the Michigan State campus knowing he is a Holocaust denier. Graham links to an article pointing out that fact, but pretends not to notice. Funny how Graham promotes a true conservative fascist while pimping the Pantload's fairytales.

Update: More about Tim Graham and Nick Griffin's pale pals at YAF Watch.

I have a confession to make, I have a tattoo. A small star on the corner of my right foot. I know... very rebellious and scandalous. One of my favorite shows is LA Ink (Kat Von D, you've got wicked style) and I have always been drawn to people with tattoos. So here's the deal, I want to see your best political tattoo. Anything related to politics in anyway (obviously extra points if it's somehow John McCain-related). We'll go through them and post our favorite. The winner who shows us their best political ink gets a $50 iTunes card.

Instructions:Send your JPEG, GIF or PNG file (100k file limit) to ink@mccainblogette.com by November 21, 2007. Include your name, e-mail, hometown, and one other way to contact you (phone or mailing address will do) and your image.

Submissions Disclaimer:The McCainBlogette.com invites you to share your photo with us. McCainBlogette.com has the sole discretion to decide what photos will be published. Please understand that by submitting your photograph, you will release publishing rights of the image to the McCainBlogette.com. The McCainBlogette.com claims all rights to the usage of your photograph on printed and digital material. You release McCainBlogette.com, its affiliates and assigns from any and all liability, claims, or damages arising out of or relating from the submission. All photographs submitted become the property of McCainBlogette.com and will not be returned to you.

Shorter disclaimer: If you're stupid enough to get John McCain's puss etched into your shoulder for an iTunes card, you can't sue us when you lose.

If anyone actual read Megh's blog, she'd be receiving a lot of e-mail from skinheads and Prince Albert aficionados right about now. I wonder if she knows about the large "Charles Keating" in Old English script across his dad's buttocks.

Megh is following the old man around the country with her own version of the Five Brothers, the Four Unnatural Blondes. Negotiations with VH1 and Fred Durst Productions are already underway.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Death Of The Sixth Amendment

At first glance, this article seems to provide grounds for celebration during the Orwellian-themed "Islamofascism Awareness Week."

DALLAS, Oct. 22 -- A federal judge declared a mistrial on Monday in what was widely seen as the government's flagship terrorism-financing case after prosecutors failed to persuade a jury to convict five leaders of a Muslim charity on any charges, or even to reach a verdict on many of the 197 counts.

The case, involving the Holy Land Foundation for Relief and Development and five of its backers, is the government's largest and most complex legal effort to shut down what it contends is American financing for terrorist organizations in the Middle East.

Proving that even Texans aren't complete shits-for-brains like David Horowitz, Chris Hitchens and Marty Peretz.

But not so fast.

Instead, the prosecution said [during the case], the foundation supported terrorism by sending more than $12 million to charitable groups, known as zakat committees, which build hospitals and feed the poor.

Prosecutors said the committees were controlled by Hamas and contributed to terrorism by helping Hamas spread its ideology and recruit supporters. The government relied on Israeli intelligence agents, using pseudonyms, to testify in support of this theory.

Witnesses using pseudonyms? Doesn't anyone remember something called the Confrontation Clause? Sixth Amendment, anyone? Has the right to cross-examine one's accusers been completely abolished? How can you confront a witness you know nothing about? How can a court swear a witness in and then allow the witness to lie about his or her own fucking name? Where are all the phony fucking libertarians on this one?

Monday, October 22, 2007

They Call Me ... MISTER Dick

The Washington Post has tawdry tales of Dickie Mellon Scaife, the hourly patron saint of the American Spectator:

In December of that year [2005], Scannell followed Richard Scaife to nearby North Huntingdon, home of Doug's Motel, a place where the TVs are bolted to the furniture and rooms can be rented in three-hour increments, for $28. (It's now under new management and renamed the Huntingdon Inn. Head east on Route 8, then east on Route 30.) There, according to Scannell, Scaife spent a few hours with Tammy Sue Vasco.

Why a billionaire would shack up at Doug's Motel, of all places, is a mystery. Ditto his choice of companions. Vasco is a tall, blond 43-year-old mother who in 1993 was busted in a sting operation after showing up at a Sheraton hotel and offering to have sex with an undercover cop for $225, the Post-Gazette reported.

Social Register material she is not, but Vasco and Scaife seemed to have a relationship that went beyond the purely professional. The two usually met each other twice a week, for months, at the motel, says an employee of the motel. Scaife would show up in a chauffeured car, dressed in a suit, wearing cuff links, always bearing flowers. Vasco would be waiting in same room every time, Room 5 on the ground floor, facing the parking lot, said the employee. Mr. Dick, as he was known at the motel, would stay for two hours or so, then get back in the car, which had been waiting, and leave.

Will the wingnut welfare queens abandon Mister Dick in his hour of need (a pricy divorce), or will they follow in the (presumably metaphorical) kneepads of R. Emmett Tyrell and start renting Room 5 by the hour?

Update: Timmy -- not Tammy -- Graham of the MRC is already kneeling. He only wishes Dickie paid him $28 for three hours.

In Days Of Old

The New York Timestakes aim at an easy but deserving target, the medieval-themed restaurant:

Things were different then, said Rich Brostowski, 37, the bar manager at Lyndhurst, whose shoulder-length hair and eagerness to demonstrate fighting techniques suggest that he has not completely forgotten his 13-year tenure as a knight. Many of the knights in those early days, he said, read fantasy novels, studied period movies and joined role-playing groups like the Society for Creative Anachronism.

"To me a knight is here," Mr. Brostowski said, pointing to his head. "This place was never just a job for me. I am a knight. That's who I am."

Over the next 10 years the Lyndhurst castle came to have some of the longest-serving knights in the Medieval Times empire. "It was a tight-knit group," said Stephanie Keil, 23, who has been a serving wench for five years. "They were revered and respected and feared." (Later, revealing that she is engaged to Mr. Brostowski, Ms. Keil added with a smile: "I'm a lucky wench.")

Just wait 'til you find out the drawbridge is always down, Steph.

Around 2000, in a phase that a Lyndhurst manager referred to as "corporatization," the company, which is privately held, began tightly standardizing the fight choreography, so one knight could smoothly substitute for one another. (Injuries are not rare.) Personal battle flourishes were curtailed and, under the training of the new corporate head knight, all combat, Tino-style and otherwise, achieved conformity. The knights of Lyndhurst adapted. But eventually discontent arose among the ranks. Two of the castle’s most senior knights, like the disaffected barons of 13th-century England, drew up a list of grievances and began persuading the squires and the other knights to take on the actors' and stagehands' unions as their bargaining representatives.

But 'twas the advent of warblogging that took the hardest toll on the industry.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Achtung, Tikkun

TBogg has more on the latest attempts to rework Jonah Goldberg's fan fic tome, I Married A National Socialist, into acceptable form. The newest title of the book is "Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning."

As one of TBogg's commenters notes, the new title suggests Jonah's decades of research uncovered the fact that Il Duce spent a number of years as a Peace Studies Professor in Madison, Wisconsin.

I suspect the next thing to be replaced is the cover. Expect an illustration of that infamous fascist, Michael Lerner, swinging from a meat hook by his heels.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Thank God We Live In A Meritocracy

Commentary magazine has named its first female editor in its six decade history. (Not right away, mind you.) Congratulations, Tiffany!

We are delighted to announce that John Podhoretz has been named to succeed Neal Kozodoy in the position of COMMENTARY's Editor as of January 1, 2009.

Mr. Podhoretz will join the COMMENTARY staff this November. In the interim role of Editorial Director, he will assume particular responsibility for the development and expansion of our online editorial activities. Our blog, inaugurated less than a year ago, has become an important daily source of thought and opinion for readers around the world, and online operations will play an increasingly significant role in COMMENTARY's growth.

Mr. Podhoretz, who upon his accession in January 2009 will become the fourth Editor in COMMENTARY's six-decade history, brings long and varied experience as an editor, columnist, writer, and blogger. He has held executive positions at several publications, including the Weekly Standard, which he co-founded, Insight, and the New York Post. The author of three books about presidential politics, he is the lead political columnist of the New York Post, has served as the regular film critic of the Weekly Standard since its inception, and is a daily contributor to "The Corner," National Review’s group blog. He was a regular on CNN's "Reliable Sources" and is now a frequent on-screen contributor to the Fox News Channel. In government, he was a speechwriter to Ronald Reagan in 1988.

Mr. Podhoretz, forty-six, lives in New York with his wife and two daughters. He is the son of Norman and Midge Podhoretz.

Yes, Commentary's blog is quite impressive. So impressive that the magazine has forgotten it actually has three blogs.

But I digress. After years of being propped up by family friends Sun Myung Moon and Rupert Murdoch, our Tiff has finally struck out on her own. Leaving the nest at 46 is always big step, but we wish you only the best.

One piece of friendly advice: When you practice your formidable editing skills on such articles as "The Case For Bombing Iran," remember that a light touch works best. You're not a trained psychiatrist, and it's never too late to change the will.

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Enemy of His Enemy

I stand second to no man -- except Himmler, of course -- in my opposition to cruelty toward animals. That said, the question of whether or not Mickey Kaus blows goats is one best left to state regulators, the U.S.D.A. and the investigative unit of Cattle Fancy magazine.

In 1985 he was forced from office after being convicted on one count of conspiracy and 12 counts of perjury involving improper campaign contributions. Hedgecock failed to report over $350,000 in illegal contributions from Nancy Hoover, David Dominelli, and the J. David Company. The perjury charges were later overturned due to an erroneous jury instruction taking the issue of materiality, an element in every perjury charge, from the jury's domain as well as jury misconduct. Later, in a deal with prosecutors, Hedgecock pleaded guilty to misdemeanor money-laundering. After a year on probation, the charges were dismissed (the norm in California for first time misdemeanants).

The Washington Post reported on October 16, 2005, that Toward Tradition received a $25,000 donation in 2000 from online gambling company eLottery, a lobbying client of Jack Abramoff and his employer, Preston Gates Ellis, despite Lapin's professed opposition to gambling. Some or all of the money received by Lapin was then transferred to a company run by the wife of Tony Rudy, an aide to Tom DeLay who was instrumental in killing an antigambling bill that eLottery and Abramoff were lobbying against. In a follow-up article published by the Washington Post on January 9, 2006, it was alleged that Toward Tradition was the "non-profit entity" referred to in Abramoff's plea agreement in relation to a $25,000 contribution made by Magazine Publishers of America which had hired Abramoff for a campaign against the postal rate increase. In March 2006, Tony Rudy pleaded guilty to one charge of conspiracy relating to the money his wife had received via Lapin.

Four years ago, Perkins addressed the Louisiana chapter of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), America's premier white supremacist organization, the successor to the White Citizens Councils, which battled integration in the South. In 1996 Perkins paid former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke $82,500 for his mailing list. At the time, Perkins was the campaign manager for a right-wing Republican candidate for the US Senate in Louisiana. The Federal Election Commission fined the campaign Perkins ran $3,000 for attempting to hide the money paid to Duke.

Howie "the Putz" Kurtz spent the first segment of his CNN program this morning plugging his book, Canker Sores. To return the favor, Kurtz then ran a commercial for Time magazine in the guise of an interview:

KURTZ: Even on TV there was a lot of pundits talking about whether Giuliani or Romney had won that exchange, but again, not much on who was actually right or wrong. Mark Halperin, you mentioned the role of the new media. When you were at ABC News, you wrote something called "The Note," which was sort of an insider's guide to politics. Tomorrow you are going to debut a new Web page called "The Page" at time.com.

Tell us a little bit about that.

HALPERIN: Well, "The Page" is for people who want to know what's going on in the presidential race all the time, 24/7. We are updating it all the time. Time colleagues overseas as well. So while we sleep here on the East Coast, the site is being updated. The Web page is thepage.time.com. It has got everything, the best reporting from Time magazine but reporting from around the whole country, local papers, local television, national television, cable, all consolidated on one page.

So if you're interested any time in knowing what's going on in this race, "The Page" is where people are going to look, I think and I hope.

KURTZ: Just briefly, do you think we're drowning in information on the Internet? And are you trying to sort of organize it?

HALPERIN: Even my colleagues -- our colleagues who cover this day to day, even the campaigns, there is so much to read, there is so much good journalism being done, watching on television, listening on the radio. Our idea is to consolidate that, to aggregate it all in one place. So if you are busy and you can't read every paper or watch every TV show, "The Page" is the one place where it is all going to live all the time on one page.

Jaysus. The product placement is more subtle in a Rob Schneider movie.

Howie then went back to plugging his book.

Halperin, of course, is the former ABC News political director who proudly takes his marching orders from internet slander merchant Matt Drudge. (And yet he claimed today that he was interested in honesty. Imagine that.) Fortunately, Time doesn't have a reputation which can be tarnished.