3. On his sense of humour: “I’m the kind of guy that, when I see geese, I go: ‘All right, geezers?’ and I think that’s hilarious. And they’re just looking at me going: ‘Like I haven’t heard that one before, you prick.'”

6. On the origins of the universe: “The big-bang theory? Not really a theory, is it? What, one explosion and that was it? Bit fucking boring, if you ask me.”

7. On Noel: “He’s like the new Robbie Williams or something. It’s fucking weird.”

8. On Mumford & Sons: “They look like fucking Amish people. You know them ones with the big sideys that don’t use electricity? Growing their own food and putting barns up. I need music to be a bit more sexy and played by people who look a bit fucking dangerous.”

10. On Oasis not breaking America: “I thought we were the bollocks and I thought we’d be doing that all over the world. I thought America would buy it, everyone would buy it… But that, my friend, is cocaine for you.”

16. On the sea: “Fuck the sea. I ain’t going in that. Fuck that, mate. That ain’t meant for us. That’s meant for the sharks, and the jellyfish, tadpoles and stuff. But a hot tub? I’m alright in a hot tub. Can hang about in there for a bit.”

17. On his favourite documentaries: “Shit on cults and godheads and all that. I like watching fuckin’ weird bastards. Y’know, they believe in some weirdo, it all goes tits up. Shit like that.”

19. On Harry Styles: “I heard the first song. What’s it called? The Prince-y one. I heard that and thought, ‘Bit fucking dramatic for a young man.'”

20. On his son’s modelling career: “So I’m like that: ‘Where’s my cut? Them two eyebrows, they’re mine, right? So I want a cut of this fucking wonga.'”

21. On DJs becoming the new rock stars: “Not in my world, they haven’t. What, Calvin fuckin’ Harris? The most boring fucking person? Fuck off, mate… I’ll tell you what they’ve become: the new accountants!”

22. On his children’s music taste: “They also like that bloke, WhatsApp Ricky. You know, the American geezer, stylish, funny gold teeth…” Interviewer: You mean A$AP Rocky? “Oh, yeah, that’s the fella. WhatsApp Ricky. That’s a better fucking name anyway.”

23. On Noel, Part II: “When I think about it, being in a band with him bores the death out of me.”

24. On his overflowing wardrobe: “I just have to go through it every now and again and think, ‘D’you know what? I’ll give that to charity.’ That makes me feel good. There’s loads of fucking cool-looking tramps round our way now, mate.”

25. On Oasis’ break-ups: “We were good at breakin’ up y’know what I mean? There’s bands out there that just fuckin’ limp off. We went out with a bang, man.”

27. On his vices: “I didn’t have a guitar habit because I could never play; I had a tambourine habit once, though. But, to be honest, you play one tambourine, you’ve played them all, mate…”

28. On…errr…we’re not entirely sure: “I believe in paralleled dimensions, mate. People always say there’s two sides of the coin, but what about the third side? The bit in the middle? That’s what I’m into. The width.”

30. On the songwriting process: “I play the simplest song in the world, maybe I do bass lines, just to get a rhythm, and then I get a melody and I tape it on my phone and I get a couple of lines and I freak myself out and have to go for a walk because they’re fucking brilliant.”

31. On taking drugs in middle-age: “I know for a fact I shouldn’t because they’re shit at the moment. It’s like Ashcroft said, they just don’t work any more.”

34. On losing his temper: “I fucking love it. If someone looks at me the wrong way… [glares intimidatingly] I definitely know how to reign it in but you’ve got to be angry too, mate. It’s good for ya… Don’t look back in anger, my fucking arse!”