I eat, I live, I sleep, I cry, I love, I fail, I laugh and I write about all of it..... and sometimes take pictures too.

Wednesday, 17 May 2017

its about dignity

I have spent the recent months visiting various hospitals in
Singapore, first with my aunt, then mum then the son.

While the son had insurance and could have gotten a room to
himself, the hospital was full so he ended up in the general ward with lots of other
people about.Lots of elderly people.

It made me think seriously about when I get old.

I watched the old men in the ward being fed, bathed, diapered
and medicated, all by strangers.The
care was good but it was perfunctory.The nurses were absolutely wonderful with the old men, they were gentle
and kind but I wonder about the helplessness of it all.

It makes you think…

I dont want to be a burden to my family, as it will take time
and effort to care for an elderly family member. I don’t want to end up in a
care facility or home where I am ‘looked after’ by
someone else. I don’t mind if I was able bodied and lived in a nursing home but I do not want someone to bathe me or
feed me or put me in diapers.

I may change my mind when I get to be elderly, I may be quite happy to be fed, bathed, be treated like an object that needs care.

I really
wish we could, like the movie Logans Run, know that we will be terminated at a
certain age… not as early as 30 in the movie but say 75 and that’s it, and have
the option, to be offed earlier if we get terminally sick.

Yes I know there are legitimate ethical questions to ask
here but seriously wouldn’t that help with astronomical health care bills and insurance
premiums?

The hospitals, doctors,Pharmaceutical and Insurance companies will of course cry foul, as they
are the ones benefiting right now.

Just think,all of us
know when we are to be terminated, so we live our lives accordingly.We make sure we go through that bucket list
and plan everything to end at 75.No
surprises, unless one is ill and is terminated earlier…

That way I know whats coming (yes I am a control freak) and
I wont have to be dependent on someone helping me to wipe my arse, bathe me,
feed me and in turn I don’t become a burden to my family as being a care giver
is one of the toughest things to do, the guilt of not doing enough or the
strain of doing too much.

But most of all it will allow me some control of my own
destiny and perhaps dying with dignity.

About Me

Been at this since 2011, seems like ages ago when I needed an outlet for all the voices...
The voices are still there, they help me deal with daily life.
I am 54 and embracing the older 'wiser' me..yeah right.. and trying to deal with my sons all growing up and finding their life partners.
As for me, I am (still) hopeful that one day I will find that imperfect partner for myself..