Re: [existlist] Query about communication.

Greg, I don t know you. I have never met you before but I would like to share something. I am really not accusing men of anything. I am not angry and I am

Message 1 of 48
, Nov 2, 2001

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Greg,

I don't know you. I have never met you before but I would like to
share something. I am really not accusing men of anything. I am not
angry and I am not suggesting that they try to get really gooey and
emotional with women.

I am just making this tiny suggestion. That maybe women really need
men and maybe the stronger the person the woman is the more she has
to try to hide this from the men.

I have taking a big risk here. If I hadn't really gotten to the point
with men where I have given up on having a relationship at all, I wouldn't
be saying this.

But the honest state of affairs is this. Women want men to initiate
something with them romantically sexually respectfully within reason
in the context of a close romantic friendship, marriage, dating
relationship.

Men are really convinced that women are not interested in sex at all
and just want them to share gooey feelings and give them flowers.
I am just really sharing because I feel that honesty from women is the only
answer to solving this communication breakdown in expectations
in male/female relationships!

I am a woman. I cannot do anything about the situation except share.
It is not my place to initiate anything and maybe hence my frustration.

But deep down in my heart I really care about men as people they are
some of my best friends and I know all their secrets. But see in a
relationship men are too scared to go that route.

But life is short and lonely. This is the crux of existential angst.
After september 11, i like every day as if it will be my last.

And I just want to ask men this question and maybe you want to answer
it silently to yourself. This is not for me to ask a stranger but
for you to ask yourself.

If you were in a relationship with a woman or wanted to be or could
be with someone special in mind that you liked. What would you want
to really do in your heart?

Would you want to be physical with that person, share your heart,
go for a walk and hold hands or go to a ballgame.

Woman want to share these things with men and philosophy can seem
like a very cold lonely consolation to the point that women philosophers
would rather have a man that they like hold them and put philosophy
on hold for a while to do that.

That is all, I am not saying that philosophers that are men do not have
feelings. They do. We as women however need to see some feeling
and being physical in even a simple way like touching/ kissing holding
hands would do very well to break the ice and show feelings without
having to discuss them at all.

I think that is what I am trying to say, act in a gentle strong way
and not talking all the time.

Deb, I don t believe I d care to be with a woman that would love to sleep with every man in town , even though she doesn t do so, wouldn t she still have her

Message 48 of 48
, Nov 6, 2001

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Deb,
I don't believe I'd care to be with a woman that
'would love to sleep with every man in town', even
though she doesn't do so, wouldn't she still have her
desires, her curiosities??
--- Deborah Yates <druthyates@...> wrote:

> Greg,
>
> I will be bold and answer that question honestly.
> What's a boy to do
> if commitment precedes sex. Find a woman who would
> love to sleep with
> every man in town, but won't because she's fiery and
> passionate and in her
> heart she is a one man woman.
>
> Then be her friend and wait until marriage and marry
> her!
>
> But that's just what I would if I were you, I am
> really stupid and naive
> how would I know?
>
> DY
>
>
>
>