As a new dad, how can I get over my jealousy toward my new baby?

It's completely normal to be jealous of your wife's relationship with your new baby — especially if she's bonding with him through breastfeeding. But it's important to ask yourself who's really making you jealous: Your wife, for being so close with your baby? Or your baby, for coming between you and your wife? My guess is probably both.

Whatever the cause of your jealousy, it's best to get your feelings out in the open. Start by talking to your partner as clearly and honestly as possible.

This may not be easy: You may be worried that she'll think you're being too sensitive. Or you may not want to bother her with your problems — after all, she just had a baby and you're supposed to be supportive, right?

Whatever's holding you back, put it aside. The most dangerous thing you can do is bury your jealousy. Left unspoken, your feelings may make you resent both your wife and your baby and could damage your marriage and your experience of fatherhood.

You might also want to talk to your friends who have children. Chances are they'll be able to tell you things you need to hear — like that life with a newborn gets better once a routine is established. If it's too difficult to talk to your wife or your friends, consider going to a therapist or a father's support group.

As important as talking is, it probably won't be enough. Create a date night or go for a walk with your wife. Bond with your baby by bathing him, cuddling him, playing with him, putting him to bed, taking him for a walk in a carrier, and changing his diapers. You can also bottle feed him if your wife is pumping breast milk or using formula.

When you've carved out a relationship with your baby that's independent of your wife, you won't have nearly as much to be jealous about. In short, the more you do with your baby and your wife, the stronger your relationship with both of them will be.

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