Tag: 2013

Voice Over Guy welcomes us to a “heart-stopping” installment of Saturday Morning Slam. Somehow a show that promises to stop hearts is okay to show to small children but images of random blows to the head are no go.

Voice Over Guy continues by saying that Saturday Morning Slam GM, Mick Foley, is going to make a major announcement. Camera crews have apparently caught up with the GM, so let’s see what this major announcement is!

It’s WrestleMania weekend here on Saturday Morning Slam but Voice Over Guy doesn’t mention it since he’s too busy hyping up our morning’s opening bout which will see Ryback taking on Damien Sandow. Somehow I don’t think this is going to be as good as WrestleMania XXVIIII…

My quest to watch and review every single episode of WWE Saturday Morning Slam rolls on! Today I’m checking out the episode from February 23, 2013. As is always the case with Saturday Morning Slam, this episode begins with shots of the crowd as Voice Over Guy welcomes us and hyperbolically hypes up the matches will be getting this morning. WWE Diva Champion Kaitlyn will be taking on Natalya in the main event, but first one half of the Usos, Jey Uso, will be in action with the recently returned Jack Swagger.

Time to check out another slamming episode of Saturday Morning Slam. Your cool-ass pal, Voice-Over Guy informs us that Kofi Kingston will compete in this morning’s main event, but first we’ll see The Miz going up against Darren Young in our opening contest. Apparently people have been waiting all week for this match after their backstage confrontation. If you say so Voice-Over Guy…

I’ve only got a handful of episodes of Saturday Morning Slam left that I’ve yet to review on this illustrious webpage so let’s check off one more and take an in depth dive into the January 12, 2013 installment. We kick things off with Voice Over Guy informing us that Randy Orton will be making his Saturday Morning Slam debut today and will be taking on Damien Sandow after their confrontation backstage during last week’s episode.

It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed an episode of Saturday Morning Slam and I had 30 minutes to kill so I figured to rectify that and check out the first episode from 2013. Our pal Voice Over Guy informs us that the Tag Team Champions, Kane and Daniel Bryan, will be in action today…in singles matches against members of 3MB.

So this is Sumire Natsu’s debut match and she’s going up against the woman who would become Asuka, Kana. Talk about a trial by fire.

We get a little pre-match promo from Natsu before the bout, though what she says I could not say, since my knowledge of Japanese is pretty much non-existent. After that she makes her entrance, getting the Goldberg treatment, as she she shown walking from the backstage area out to the ring (she lacks Goldberg’s phalanx of cops).

Kana, still in her Nazi zombie phase, heads out next and the match gets underway. Sumire offers a handshake, but Kana does not wish to abide by the Code of Honor. Sumire unloads on Kana with a bunch of forearm strikes that Kana just kind of shrugs off before unloading with strikes of her own.

Kana spends the bulk of the match toying with the rookie, swatting her out of the air when she goes for dropkicks and halfheartedly kicking at Sumire when she ends up on the mat.

Sumire gets a couple near falls that basically do nothing but fire Kana up who tosses her around a bit and then gets her to tap out with an armbar about eight minutes into the match.

Random ladies hit the ring with icepacks and stuff to tend to Sumire and then Kana kneels down and shakes her hand. I guess in taking a hellacious beating, Sumire Natsu earned Kana’s respect.

We then get a post-match promo thing from Sumire recorded backstage, but again, I’ve got no idea what she was talking about.

Winner: Kana

I guess for a debut match it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Sumire was good on the sell, but a lot of her offense looked kind of sloppy and it looked like she botched a couple things. Since this match took place five years ago, I know she gets much better than she was here but as a stand alone match this wasn’t particular inspired. [*⅔]

For the second week in a row Saturday Morning Slam begins with a voice over guy who sounds more like the Movie Trailer Guy than the Voice Over Guy from Saturday Morning Slam we all know and love. He delivers another doom and gloom bit of oration stating, “Last week on the Slam, chaos and disorder continued to run rampant throughout the WWE. And today an announcement will be made. Will it end the pandemonium, or will mayhem be unleashed?”

“Chaos has run amok. The WWE roster is in disarray. Alliances forged. Allegiances questioned. Who can you trust? These are dark and turbulent times. Will a leader rise? The very fate of Saturday Morning Slam hangs in the balance!”

Christ alive is this pre-opening shitrock theme voiceover over the top or what? The fate of Saturday Morning Slam? It’s a goofy wrestling show for 8 year old boys and they decided to start it off with Movie Preview Guy growling about chaos?

At some point I will run out of Satuday Morning Slam episodes to review since the show lasted but a single season, but that day is not today my friends! A severe sounding Voice Over Guy informs us that things have gotten out of control here on Saturday Morning Slam and so today Booker T will announce a general manager for Saturday Morning Slam to get things back under control.