ONE reader desperately wants her mum to back off and let her grow-up while another reader is looking for some encouragement as she prepares to see her son for the first time in 15 years.

She’s always been very ­protective of me and my brother, who now lives with his girlfriend, but she once found out the password of his email account and went through all his messages.

I’ve also found her looking in my room and opening post.

She always claims it’s an accident, but I know it’s not.

If I stay out for the night she quizzes me about it and I worry I’ll never be able to have a serious relationship. I just wish she’d leave me alone to be a grown-up. She says she’s only looking out for me.

How can I make her see that it’s not on?

Coleen says..

YOUR mum’s behaviour isn’t on. But rather than getting angry, try to understand things from her point of view. It sounds like she’s terrified of losing her baby.

You don’t mention living with a dad, so I’m assuming your mum is on her own. Perhaps she just feels redundant as a mother, which is why she behaves like this. Until you move out, why not get a lock on your door?

Ask your mum first and explain you need more privacy. While you’re at it, tell her that you need her to treat you like an adult.

Explain that going through your room or post is disrespectful. Tell her that if she doesn’t change her ways, you’ll move out and rent with your friends.

Having said that, it wouldn’t hurt to let her know where you’re going and when you’ll be home. You are living in her house.

I fear son will hate me after 15 years apart

Dear Coleen,

When I left my husband 15 years ago, my two sons – aged eight and 10 – decided to stay with their father.

I’d had an affair with my boss and it was a very painful time for everybody.

My husband turned my sons against me.

I moved in with my boss and wrote to my sons for about five years. I also sent presents, but they never replied so I gave up.

Last week, I received an email from my eldest son saying he wants to see me. He’ll be 25 now so I’m hoping he’ll have more of an understanding.

Part of me desperately wants to see him but the other part is afraid he’s going to hate me. Do you have any advice for me?

Coleen says..

EVEN though you feel worried, you need to listen to him – and be prepared for any anger he has. You can’t abandon him again, you must let him have his say.

Don’t criticise his dad, just explain that you weren’t happy in your marriage.

Tell him how much you love him and how pleased you are that he’s got back in touch.