Men, Take Back “Underwear”

Men have started to call their underwear underpants. Yes… underpants. What little girls wear after they grow out of toddler ruffled panties. I blame the sitcom writers. They play with guys’ vocabularies when they know they’re (the guys are) focused on the babe-with-the-big-bosoms character. “Look at yeewwww,” the spunky actor says to the woman character. (Attention shifts to woman) “Hey, Don, whatcha mean you don’t know what size underpants you wear?” or “I mean, how do you expect me to act tough after I’ve sprung the elastic in my underpants?” or “It’s a shame my underpants don’t come in chartreuse or periwinkle.” Like, come on…

In my day, no man said underpants, and few women did either. They said underwear, undies, or grundles, but never underpants. To do so would be the same as saying “pregnant” when the required term was “expecting,” “puke” in place of “throw up,” or “butt” for “seat.” It wasn’t done. And it shouldn’t be done now.

So men, I beg you to pull on your big boy unmentionables and take back your vocabulary. Teach little boys the right way. Please. Do this so I don’t have to.