On the 9th of Av we can understand the source of the senseless hatred that caused the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and dedicate ourselves to "senseless love."

Recognizing the empty space that can't be filled with distraction or replacement is one of life's most profound experiences. There are losses so devastating that words, no matter how carefully selected, are cheap and banal at best and patronizing at worst. When there is nothing to say, nothing is more eloquent than silence.

There are losses that not only defy any lexicon, but they are so enormous that even our minds cannot grasp them, and we find ourselves in emotional denial. When we realize that the life of any Holocaust survivor has chapters that can never be digested, let alone expressed, we can begin to understand the awesome silence of loss.

When we have no words, there is no way to transmit information. A tragic result is that often the most profound losses are also the least understood, and most often forgotten. To our great-grandchildren, the horror of the Holocaust may become a dusty relic of antique memory, much as the Spanish Inquisition is to us.

No one today can begin to understand the enormity of the loss of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, the Beit HaMikdash. When it stood, the Temple let us experience spirituality directly. God's presence could be felt in every stone, in every corner -- no external catalyst needed.

We have been mourning the loss of this connection for thousands of years, and we no longer have the words to convey its meaning. We go through the motions of mourning, but we need words to make it real.

Let us focus on what the loss of the Temple 2,000 years ago means to us in the new millennia.

The words Beit HaMikdash literally means "Holy House." A house is by definition a place to find shelter, comfort and express our identity.

Without a house to call our own, Jews experience discomfort in the world. Physically, we are not comfortable in the face of ceaseless persecution. Nor are we psychologically comfortable unless we have spiritual means of being ourselves. Without it, our collective life is painful and gray.

The need to express our most genuine selves manifests at times in pursuit of justice. This is reflected in social activism. Our collective need to give has been reflected in our caring and generosity. We are an extraordinarily interactive people, but we are still restless. The inner serenity that we seek eludes us; we are not quite at home.

The material world that fulfills us also distracts us from searching for our deepest sense of identity, and at time corrupts us. In recognition, other religions have idealized "rising above" worldly desire. Jews recognize the power and beauty of the world as a catalyst for our capacity to live meaningfully, and we embrace it. But our two worlds, the outer one and the inner one, sometimes remain separate realms.

In the Beit Hamikdash, the spiritual world was not obscured by the physical. The two worlds existed perfectly together through the grace of God's presence.

God Himself is referred to as HaMakom, "The Place." He is the place in which the world exists. The engaging nature of the world conceals God from us, and we drown in the endless pursuit of what the world cannot give us. The exception to this was intense realization of God in the Temple, where the physical stones revealed more holiness than they concealed. It was a place of intense joy. There, we were truly home. We were ourselves, at our best.

The Beit Hamikdash was the glue that held us together as a people. Not only were we "at home," but we also developed a collective identity -- one family with common goals, while retaining our individual roles. In such a setting, the external differences between individuals fades, leaving only our yearning for goodness.

Yet when our ability to see the common bond of goodness fades, our focal point changes. Inexorably we focus on the limitations that separate us. Our sense of justice is degraded into ceaseless negativism and biting criticism. This eventually leads to senseless hatred.

Hatred is senseless when there is no desire to improve the relationship between oneself and another person. The fact that "they" are not you, is enough of a threat to fear them at first, and then hate them. The more different they are, the greater the threat.

The Temple's destruction was caused by senseless hatred. The factionalism and xenophobic fear of others catapulted a 2,000-year journey toward rectification. Now, the physical return to Israel has given us, for the first time in centuries, a physical means of redefining our nationhood. And though there are signs in the right direction, we are not yet at home.

THE KEY TO REDEMPTION

Will we ever be truly home? Is there a way out?

Maimonides offers a formula that has often been referred to as "senseless love." We must reach out to each other without agendas that corrupt into another form of acquisition. The process is transformative in the way that it changes our focus:

We are obligated to speak well of other people, sharing our joy at having glimpsed his/her inner beauty. The act of speaking positively allies us to each other. It makes us aware that we are on one team.

We are obligated to care for each other's material needs. By being aware of how frail and needy our bodies make us, we become more forgiving and tolerant.

We are obligated to seek out situations that bring honor to others. By doing so, we give them the precious gift of self-esteem and simultaneously remove ourselves from the egotistical traps of center stage.

This three-step process is deceptively simple. Yet it can change us dramatically. It can change not only our relationship to others, but can lead us to rediscover ourselves. In doing so, the endless mourning for our lost selves, and for our national tragedies, will cease.

Tisha B'Av, the day we lost the First and Second Temple, is also the day in which the Inquisition edicts were signed over 500 years ago. It is also the fateful day in 1914 that started the World War One, which inevitably led to the worst atrocity mankind has ever experienced, the Holocaust.

For two millennia, the Jewish people have been targeted again and again by hatred and persecution. It seems that we are held together by the world's hatred rather than by love for each other. Yet things can change. We only need to take the steps from hatred to love, from criticism to appreciation.

God Himself has promised that once we achieve this transformation, we will merit to truly come home.

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About the Author

Consummate educator and internationally acclaimed speaker, Rebbetzin Tzipora Heller has been a full-time lecturer at Neve Yerushalayim College in Jerusalem since 1980, impacting the lives of thousands of women worldwide. She is the author of six popular books, including Here You Are, Battle Plans, and This Way Up. She recently launched a daily video program based on the timeless Jewish wisdom of "Duties of the Heart." Learn how to channel your emotions to experience every day with purpose, meaning, and joy at: dutiesoftheheart.com

Visitor Comments: 26

B'H
I HAVE RARELY BEEN SO INSPIRED AS THESE
ARTICLES HAVE BEEN TO ME.
I WILL SEND THEM TO MY FRIENDS AS WELL
THANK YOU AND KOL HAKOVED!

(25)
Temima,
July 8, 2007 1:18 PM

once again the rebbetzin has succeeded in such

a powerful and beautiful way to bring the most important feelings of these times into words in the very best way! chizki v'imtzi! thank you again and again! with h-m's help we will maskil to know how to utilize these skills and bring the mashiach right now!

(24)
Rachel,
February 2, 2006 12:00 AM

This is a very intersting artical.

Wow, I love it

(23)
Edward,
August 4, 2005 12:00 AM

Everyone should reflect on "The Key to Redemption," from time to time. It is good food from the heart for the soul.

(22)
y'hoshua halevi,
August 2, 2005 12:00 AM

three steps

thank your for including the rambam's three steps for senseless love. speaking well, acting to care for other's physical needs, and seeking situations to honor others...this is a beautiful, and very Jewish way of bringing true love into the world. the shoresh(root) of love in hebrew, "ahava" means to give...

(21)
Yisraeli Chavaer,
July 31, 2005 12:00 AM

G-d's Grace is Sufficient

The most difficult thing we can do is maintain a positive perspective amidst our adversity.

The challenge is to maintain our identity, our devotion to G-d, our strength and our peace while not being conformed to something other than G-d's plan for our lives... by the evil influences of the world's culture... and also to maintain the ability to love and trust in a world lacking in trust and love.

I grieve not for a building but in the hatred from those who have persecuted us for something they do not understand and how it has roused hatred in the hearts of our own people - hatred that G-d did not put there in the sanctuary that dwells within us!

G-d's compassion transcends Beit Hamikdash and provides, even today, for the needs of all of His people if we would only search Him for all that we need...even forgiveness!

(20)
Harlan Norem,
July 31, 2005 12:00 AM

Simple and profound insight - with a 'yes, but...'

I appreciate the insight and agree with the process of transformation. My 'however' is that this keen insight will remain on paper until we solve one more step: Motivation. How many great ideas are acknowledged - and go nowhere because we have not discovered how to motivate the reader/ listener. Solve that one and we will be on our way. Thank you for this lift.

(19)
ofelia ernst,
July 31, 2005 12:00 AM

it hit home

thank you so much for this great article. it is the blueprint on how we should try to live day by day and if we arent than we should try to achieve it. amazing!

(18)
Laura,
July 21, 2005 12:00 AM

Beautifully said!

Thank you so much for your kind words. In my own mind I often ask What is wrong with this world? Then I realize that I am what is wrong with this world, you are what is wrong with this world and ultimately we, are what is wrong with this world. You stated the same thing much more beautifully.

(17)
Denise Rootenberg,
August 7, 2003 12:00 AM

Thank you for giving us the formula

It seems so simple, yet is the essence of how to live. This is a most memorable article.

(16)
Anonymous,
August 7, 2003 12:00 AM

This was really helpful

This article is wonderful. At a class I went to I was advised to try and understand the loss we are mourning for. I was no where near any understanding until I read this article. I could feel my mind clearing up as I read all the truth it displays. I now have a good picture of what we are missing by not having the Beit Hamikdosh, and how we can get it back. I learned a lot from it.

(15)
Anonymous,
May 8, 2003 12:00 AM

Great Article

This is a beautiful article. I wish everyone would read it.

(14)
John White,
November 16, 2001 12:00 AM

The Truth here is greater than the writer realized...

The Truth contained in the following words of the article is greater than the writer realized: "When our ability to see the common bond of goodness that binds us together fades our focal point changes. Inexorably we focus on the limitations that separate us. Our sense of justice is degraded into ceaseless negativism and biting criticism. This eventually leads to senseless hatred. Hatred is senseless when there is no desire to improve the relationship between oneself and another person. The fact that "they" are not you, is enough of a threat to first fear them, and then hate them. The more different they are, the greater the threat."
The application of these words and Maimonides' "senseless love" to relations between Jews and non-Jews encapsulates the spiritual solution to the violence in and around Israel today.

(13)
sharon kende,
July 29, 2001 12:00 AM

good comments on "feeling the loss"

Well said. tied together the previous articles. inspiring

(12)
Anonymous,
July 29, 2001 12:00 AM

Wow

I am a very poorly educated Jew that grew up in a traditionaly non-Jewish home. My father was a serviceman and his background left him with some strongly confused feelings about traditional practice. In later years he sought spiritual nourishment from a variety of sources.

I have made attempts to find aplace in traditional practice and have not been able to do so. Lately I have been doing some reading and have found that the work of Lenora Leet resonant. I have begun a very basic convanental practice that includes ritual prayer, a ten commandment focus, and the beginnings of kashrut.

I came to Aish.com today to learn more about Tish B'ahv. I have recently been reading the series on Kabbalah. I have fund so much more than simple information.

For my entire life I have been uncomfortable in my skin. I also identify with the other attributes of our spiritual pain as described in your article as well as some of the qualities of senseless love.

This article has given me another dimension for my own developing practice and a true appreciation for the true gravity of this day. I believe that I am a better Jew for having read it. Thank you.

(11)
Anonymous,
July 29, 2001 12:00 AM

rebbetzin heller lectured me in 1989
@ neve Yerushaliam.
it was so good to read your article while sitting in south africa.

(10)
Rivka,
July 29, 2001 12:00 AM

Excellent ispiring article, positive and encrinching

I admire the profound, personal and positive message given over by Rebitzen Heller, the feminine touch is definatly what the world needs today to prepare for Moshiach! May it be today!

(9)
faigie schwartz,
July 29, 2001 12:00 AM

thank you

what a great prospective of the charbun and and what we most do

(8)
Ena Hassan,
July 28, 2001 12:00 AM

About love and hatred.

A very moving piece. Thank you Mrs Heller.

(7)
Vanessa,
July 28, 2001 12:00 AM

Comments of a Christian

I pray always for the Peace of Jerusalem and the people of Israel. We Christians, by and large, are not well versed in Jewish culture and history. This knowledge vastly enriches our own faith in G-d with deeper understanding. Thank you for sharing this precious history of our common roots. Shalom

(6)
Anonymous,
July 28, 2001 12:00 AM

thank you

thank you rebbetzin heller for such an inspiring article. It helped me understand the day a lot better and inspired me to improve myself.

(5)
Sharril Sherwood,
July 28, 2001 12:00 AM

Very moving, insightful article

As a Gentile lover of the G-d of Israel and His people and Eretz Israel, I consider it a sobering privilege and awesome responsibility to join in the mourning of this incredibly significant day. Truly it is time for the Jewish people to come home...I follow and support many organizations helping Jews to make aliyah, and to help the Olim in these difficult days. May you all turn back to your G-d, the G-d of Avraham, Yitzak, and Yacov. Then HaShem will be able to truly turn your mourning into dancing, and be the Peace and protection you long for.

(4)
Pircha,
July 28, 2001 12:00 AM

Our world so often seperates the physical and spiritual that it is hard to think of a place where they are truly one. You say the Beit Hamikdash was that place. It should be built Bimhayra Biyamaynu!

(3)
Deborah Betz,
July 27, 2001 12:00 AM

Beautiful article

This is a beautiful article,very simple and direct. But what do you do if you perceive yourself to be at the receving end of this senseless hatred.How many times are you suppose to forgive? what do you do with your anger?

(2)
Norman Elias,
August 10, 2000 12:00 AM

Magnificent

The wording of this article is magnificent!
It places Tisha B'Av in a perspective that helps me comprehend the day and presents insights that reach beyond Tisha B'Av.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts.