We’re a bit late to this whole Tila Tequila-Shawne Merriman dustup that happened over the weekend, but here’s what we know so far about the relationship between the Pro Bowl linebacker and the woman who’s really not hot enough to be famous anyway: Tequila, whose real name is Tila Nguyen, tried to leave Merriman’s place on Sunday morning. Merriman wouldn’t let her go, saying she was intoxicated. Nguyen would later sign a citizen’s arrest warrant with the San Diego County Sherriff’s office, citing battery and false imprisonment.

Deputies responded about 3:45 a.m. to Merriman’s house in Poway, north of San Diego, after a woman called to say she was choked by the player and thrown to the ground when she tried to leave, Sheriff’s Department spokesman Jan Caldwell said at a news conference. via.

And so Merriman spent two hours in jail. Deputies later confirmed that Tila Nguyen had been drinking, a notion that she would later refute on Twitter, claiming she was allergic to alcohol.

In a tweet Sunday, Tequila said: “I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila “Tequila” cuz the irony. I cant drink.”

[She also tweeted,] “Steroid use makes people act aggressive….known fact,” presumably a referance to Merriman’s known steroid use. via.

It’s hard to believe that someone nicknamed Tila Tequila would actually try to claim that she’s allergic to alcohol, but that’s my fault for expecting a reality TV star to realize that we actually use the brain that she takes for granted. I always trust the steroid-crazed idiot over the Vienamese TV whore idiot. Call me cynical…