Dumbass Pages

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Dumbass Brit Rips Off, Pisses Off Four Women, Hilarity Ensues

The Hole In Which Simon's Ass Will Be "Accessible"

From the Here's a Doozy Department, here's a doozy. A British Dumbass named Simon Reid tried to do something that any man with a lick of sense wouldn't try to do if somebody held a 9mm Glock to his head. Simon had four girlfriends and none of them knew about the other three until one of them used the British version of Google Fu. Then all four of the jilted women wanted to take turns cutting off Simon's fish and chips, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Simon was, unbeknownst to all four women, a gigolo. A man-whore. A dog. A dumbass. Ole Simon was cruising along in his relationships with these women, taking money from them hand over fist by telling them some outrageous lies, "He told one woman he was an international businessman, another he was a professional rock climber, a third that his father was terminally ill and a fourth that his son was a Royal Air Force pilot who'd lost three limbs in Afghanistan." Then one of them got suspicious. Enter Google Fu. She Googled Simon's name and something unexpected came up ...a website run by an American woman telling of Simon's rotten deeds and sexploits, "hoping to help other women that Simon might try to ripoff. Needless to say, the Google Fu lady was shocked at the sight of it all. Shocked and pissed off, but mostly pissed off. Then the pissed off Google Fu lady had an idea! "Why don't I get all these other women together in one place and we'll all confront this cad! And we'll have a camcorder to document it all!" More from the UPI story,. "They all met in a pub and hatched a plot to trap him, the newspaper said. Reid was lured to Buckingham's house while the others hid upstairs.One by one they came down to confront him -- all on camcorder -- before calling police, " The Sun said. Simon not only faced four ripped off pissed off women, he also faced 30 months in prison which, considering the mess he was in, was preferable to facing four jilted ladies. Simon called the police himself. OK, I made that last part up.

Now Simon sits in an English prison, facing facing four jilted large, hairy, horny inmates and looking forward to his next adventure as an oil field worker who'll be in the barrel four days a week. :) Dumbass.