If You Give a Woman a Horse

If you give a woman a horse, she will want some boots and a hat, and a saddle to ride in. She will want to ride her horse all the time, so she will also need a watch to remind her to tell people she will be late coming home from the barn.

She will want to fill her house with horse pictures, horse books, magazines and useful tack she finds online and at barn sales. If she reads her horse magazines, she will get inspired and set big goals for herself, like riding her horse in a local show. She will, of course, need a truck and trailer to take her horse to the show, and a bigger room to hold her future ribbons.

In order to do well, she will want a trainer to help her get better at riding, and a chiropractor, saddle fitter, farrier, vet, nutritionist, physical therapist and an acupuncturist for her horse. She will fill her life with friends as passionate and horse crazy as she is.

She will learn the hard stuff like self-control, falling down and getting back on, patience, courage, self-esteem, independence and giving your whole heart to another creature who is somehow as fragile and unbreakable as you are.

She will have to be up all night walking and pacing, taking vitals and praying with desperation, hoping against hope for a steaming pile of poo to finally appear. When it does, she will call you at 2 am crying happy tears and need you to bring her coffee and a hug.

She will love her horse and learn to love herself. She will need an understanding family and a good paying job. She will learn to balance her dreams and needs and wants, and how to hold someone else’s hand and the reins of her horse with grace. Through it all, as the sun rises and sets, she will walk out the years with her horse, her best friend, at her side. Deep in her beautiful seasoned-horsewoman-heart, she will always be grateful to you for giving a woman a horse.