SOMEDAY: THE STRING QUARTET TRIBUTE TO NICKELBACK | "Canadian rockers Nickelback began their musical journey as a metal band. As they grew, the band picked up a slew of new influences, challenging each other and artistically raising the bar. All of this experimentation paid off, helping elevate their sound toward a melodic blend of aggressive rock with a clear emotional core." If calling Nickelback bar-raising experimentalists isn't tongue-in-cheek, then I've severely underestimated the human capacity for delusion.

Check out www.vitaminrecords.comfor some equally hilarious MP3 samples — something tells me the cellist making a buck playing Disturbed covers is having a bit of a laugh as well.

THE BIG HURT: DIVING IN THE PR DUMPSTER | February 26, 2013 I've been dumpster diving in the PR bin, the rankest receptacle of music industry waste, and I've come up with a dripping fistful of the month's hottest garbage.

THE BIG HURT: LEANIN' WITH BIEBS | February 20, 2013 Bieber was allegedly photographed sipping something from a double Styrofoam cup, in close proximity to a big bottle of codeine cough syrup. This can only add up to one thing: lean . That purple drank, the laudanum of Screw, the deadly nectar of Pimp C.