For Gold Star children, a gift of summer full of fun

Friends Never Forget, a nonprofit that raises money to send children of fallen military to summer camp, holds its first Memorial Day Gold Star BBQ at the Middlesex County 4-H Fairgrounds in Westford. Christine Merrill of North Andover and her son, Jackson Redmond-Sky Walker, 3, have their picture taken next to a poster of some of the kids who ve been sent to camp by Friends Never Forget.
SUN/JULIA MALAKIE

WESTFORD -- Some groups help Gold Star families deal with the grief of having a loved one killed in action.

Others try to ensure financial stability or a secure future for the children left behind.

Jason Main's Friends Never Forget sends those kids to camp.

The organization, which hosted a fundraiser barbecue in Westford on Saturday complete with a memorial wall in honor of fallen soldiers, pays all expenses for Gold Star children to attend camps of their choosing through its Operation Camp program.

"They can be a kid for a week or two weeks and not have to worry about the burden of having one parent or that lost," Main said. "They can go be with other kids and play sports or ride horses or produce films."

Main was hopeful that Saturday's event, the first time the organization has held a fundraiser in Westford in several years, would help ensure even more children get to go to camp. The barbecue featured sack races, an obstacle course, a Nerf gun shooting range, people in superhero costumes and more.

The idea for the group grew from Main's own experience.

While on his fourth tour of duty in Iraq in 2007, Main's wife called and asked him to come home for a family medical emergency.

He wanted to stay and finish his service, but his teammates sat him down and gave him a choice: "'get on the plane,'" he recalled them saying, "'or we're going to duct-tape you to the wing.'"

Main "begrudgingly" returned home.

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Days later, he got a phone call from Navy command. Three of his teammates had been killed by an improvised explosive device.

At the funeral services, Main kept focusing on the children who had just lost fathers

"I said, 'wow, those little kids are going to have to grow up so fast,'" he said.

Since its founding in 2011 and counting this summer, Friends Never Forget has sent 68 children of soldiers killed in action to 50 camps across the country.

Destinations vary, from a local day camp to the New York Film Academy Camp to the Christian camp Summit.

The organization accepts applications before the summer, and Main said he tries to fulfill every single one of them.

Many of the families helped by Friends Never Forget have written letters expressing thanks.

"My summer at summit was one of the greatest camps I had ever been to," a young woman named Emily wrote.

"It was great to know (my daughter) was being well taken care of while having an awesome time while I was at work," a mother named Daria wrote. "It was definitely a blessing."

One of the secondary benefits of sending kids to camp, Main said, was taking pressure off the surviving parent.

"They get a week or two weeks not to have to worry about being both parents, to take a minute to just be themselves and decompress," he said.

All of the funding comes from individual donors -- most of whom are still based in the Merrimack Valley, Main said -- rather than from corporate sponsors. About 90 percent of donations go directly to the costs for camp, and everyone who works for Friends Never Forget is a volunteer.

"I tell everybody that works for me," Main said with a smile, "'I am the greatest boss to work for and this is why: I want 110 percent out of you and I'm not paying you a thing.'"

More than anything, Main hopes he is able to honor the legacy of those who have made the ultimate sacrifice.

"I'm alive because those three guys forced me onto a plane and took my spot in the Humvee," he said. "They lost their lives so that I could be here today so that I could pay it forward."

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