Sex chat is an art not everyone can master. Having sex with your body is one thing, but having sex with your words, and without sending nudes, is a whole other realm. Usually, sexting and sex chat is a quick, thoughtless process in the name of getting a good orgasm or just being able to cum.

But if you really want to create an all-over body experience for both yourself and the person on the other end, there are a few things you should keep in mind.

Get Personal

While most of us know and have been preached to always keep things strictly about sex when engaging in sex chat, you’re missing out on a better experience by neglecting to get to know the person you’re talking to. When using free sites to stream sex like instantchat.com, Opening up a bit about yourself, but not too much to where you compromise your safety and personal info, allows the person to trust you better, and will create a more intimate opening in your conversation.

Pay Attention

You’d be surprised how hard this is for some people.

Showing that you’re truly interested in what they’re saying or their desires by repeating back what they said, or catch the hints they throw at you, will let them know you’re not just in it to please yourself. This could make someone feel even more inclined to give you the best of them so that you both can reach an amazing climax.

Be Respectful

If someone trusts you enough to tell you their kinks, no matter if you find it strange or not, you should always be respectful of them. Being rude or saying mean things to people will not get you very far, unless degradation is their kink, of course.

But other than that, you’ll find that the other person will eventually leave you alone and stop responding, or even block you, leaving you both disappointed. There’s no winning in being an asshole.

Explore Your Fantasies

Sex chat is a great outlet to use to get to know yourself sexually. It also helps the conversation not to be boring or get repetitive if you engage in each other’s sexual fantasies. Most people are reluctant to express themselves this way, or find it hard to communicate their fantasies to other people.

If you show someone you’re open to roleplay, for example, or to any other fantasy of your own or theirs, you’ll be surprised at what you can unleash.

Expand Your Vocabulary

Using the same words over and over gets old quick. For the best sex chat, you need to make sure you’re prepared with tons of adjectives, verbs, and other names for body parts or you’ll get bored very soon. Describing everything you’re feeling or doing is the most important thing, and essential to keeping the conversation alive.

You can’t just say “I’m so hard right now,” constantly, so if you really want to have a good conversation, you have to use more words!

Keep An Imagination

Sex chat is an escape for some people, and others do it to spice up their life by doing the impossible in a possible world. That is, if you’ve ever thought what’d it be like to have sex in the ocean, space, or anywhere really, you can pretend to do it when sex chatting. You can be anything you want here, so don’t be afraid to invest yourself completely in the fantasy — it’ll be much more fun, I promise.

Read An Erotic Story

What’s the best way to learn how to write or speak erotically?

Read an example!

With the tons of different categories and genres of erotic stories, there’s so many out there for you to look at and practice with. You could even cheat a little and copy some of the things you read on here that you particularly liked, and I’m sure it’ll impress your partner.

Given the amount of terminology which exists in the fetish world, it can be difficult to understand exactly which label best describes your preferences. While dominant and submissive are the two most common terms in the BDSM lexicon, there are countless others which might more accurately describes your likes and dislikes.

This is where BDSM tests come in.

BDSM tests are thorough multiple-choice questionnaires which do their best to reduce your sexual penchants into a single term. In addition, because of the transient nature of many fetishists, BDSM tests also give you a percentage rating against every single phrase in the test’s dictionary. For example:

This is a very barebones BDSM test, with only 14 multiple choice questions to go through. It asks simple questions such as what’s your preferred type of sex, what’s your stance on being dominated or restrained, and it also poses a handful of hypothetical scenarios.

The test will categorize you as one of ten different possible labels, including everything from ‘service sub’ to slave. The test keeps everything to as minimum as possible without going into too much detail, and is useful for an overall feel of where you might fall on the BDSM scale.

The questions presented, while fairly basic, require incredibly accurate answers. Answers take the form of a ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘no preference’ multiple choice response, along with a sliding scale of how important you deem each question to be. There are 24 questions in total, not all of which are related to sexual activity. Some questions are philosophical questions which help categorize your beliefs and thusly, your likelihood of preferring sexual dominance / submission.

This is the grand daddy of BDSM tests. It consists of around 60 questions (or slightly less if you choose the sub-specific or dom-specific tests) ranging from bedroom preferences, philosophical statements regarding pleasure and pain, hypothetical circumstances and previous experiences.

The BDSM Test will provide a breakdown of every single sub-category of BDSM fetishes, along with how much you relate to each as a percentage. There are 24 categories in total, ranging from the basic Dominant, Submissive, Vanilla, Master labels to more obscure titles such as Degrader, Rigger, Experimentalist, Degradee and Rope Bunny.

The BDSM Test is certainly worth investing the twenty minutes or so it takes to complete the test. It’s a useful tool for determining exactly where you might sit on the fetish scale. However, it’s important to remember that even the BDSM Test doesn’t incorporate every single role possible as new categories are constantly being invented and implemented into the BDSM lexicon.

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