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I am going to have a nervous breakdown!!!

My husband was laid off during the holidays. He was offered the one spot they had open to go back to his company he was laid off from. Over a month ago, he had an accident with the fork lift from going too fast, spilled chemicals and was fired. Yeh. I work full time, come home and clean and have taken on extra responsibilities at work to make some extra money(his unemployment has not kicked in)
He has yet to look for a job, I come home and the house is a mess and no dinner set out or nothing!! When I was a stay at home mom, I kept the house and had a nice dinner waiting for him when he got home. I get up at 6am and have not been going to bed until almost 10pm because I have to do everything when I get home. He was more of a help when he had a job. It is making me physically ill to overhear him,laughing, talking about his "break" on the phone with his friends. What do I do? His break is over!!!!

Tell him to get off his ass and help, give him a list of the things that need to be done, some men are clueless in this area, they dont know how or what to start, also my hubby went through this also, his selfworth might be wrapped up in his job or the fact that he made money and now he is lost, disappointed or depressed but putting on a front with his friends. Tell him you need help and this is what he can do to help, let him know that he will find a new job but until then the house and kids still need him, if not more now

tell him his break is over..thats just insane... If your house isnt a complete mess i wouldnt worry about getting it spotless every day..also maybe you could pre-make some meals and he might put it all together if he doesnt have to do much... im sorry you are dealing with a lazy ass...hope things get better soon

Answer by
Anonymous
at 4:33 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

Have you talked to him? Let him know as long as he is the SAHD he has the same responsibilities that you had. Its not in most men's nature to cook, clean, take care of home the way most women are wired to. So he may not do it as well but he still needs to do it. And not having a job is not an option if you havent both agreed on this. He should be looking everyday until he gets an offer.

If it was my husband I would smack him upside his head with a frying pan and tell him his break is over. Until he finds another job he needs to help around the house, you shouldn't have to do everything.

Sorry you're having a hard time now. My brother got laid off from Caterpillar in January and still hasn't found a job. :-(

Can he get disability payments?

As for his slacking ways, maybe it's time to sort the laundry and just clean yours and the kids, but leave his in the hamper. Cook a meal that has just enough for you and the kids and don't set a place for DH. You get the idea. If he isn't going to pull his weight around the house, why should you??

If this doesn't get his attention, tell him that you've decided to charge him for all the extra work you're doing around the house. Say $15.00 and hour. You're a wife, not a slave.

you need to put your foot down and tell him he needs to get up off his ass and do something. you need to stop doing things for him. its not fair for you to work all day, with extra responsibilities, then com home and have to deal with doing housework. he should be kissing your ass and be glad that you are willing to do all of that, and still be with him.

STOP! Stop trying to keep up with everything. He is going to continue to think what he is doing is ok because you are taking care of everything stil. Don't do it. Set the standards too. He isn't going to know what you think/feel unless you tell him My expectations of whoever stays at home are the same. If you aren't working your job just became taking care of the house because the other person has the weight of earning money on their shoulders. Men are so spoiled by us. We have taught them to act this way. We need to unteach it.