Nicola Morganhttp://www.nicolamorgan.com
Award-winning author & professional speakerTue, 03 Mar 2015 09:02:18 +0000en-UShourly1How parents can help with teenage stresshttp://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/how-parents-can-help-with-teenage-stress/
http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/how-parents-can-help-with-teenage-stress/#commentsTue, 03 Mar 2015 09:00:58 +0000http://www.nicolamorgan.com/?p=3423READ MORE]]>Schools often ask me in to give an evening talk to parents about the teenage brain changes and/or helping their sons and daughters manage and even thrive on stress.

I talk about how teenagers experience and react somewhat differently to stress – although the ways of managing it are no different whatever our age. I have handouts and resources for them to follow up later if they wish. But I often have to turn down invitations, so I thought I’d put some nutshell advice here.

HOW PARENTS CAN HELP: 1. Attitude 2. Action

ATTITUDE:

Put yourself in their shoes and properly understand. Yes, we went through this stage, too, but a) what you went through is not the same as what your son or daughter is going through because you are not the same person and b) you have partial amnesia.

Don’t dismiss or belittle their stress. If you’re really upset or worried about something, does it help you for someone to say, “Come on, buck up – it’s not that bad”?

Having said that, try not to worry too much yourself. Give your teenager credit for some resilience.

Realise that teenagers often don’t ask for help. Sometimes this is because they don’t believe there’s an answer. They often display “learned helplessness” because they are used to not being in control of their lives. Make sure they realise there is always at least part of an answer, something that they can do to make the situation get better and feel better.

Be cautious about the high stakes of exams – make sure your teenager has a safety net and does not believe that “failure” or not performing as well as hoped is the end of the world.

ACTION:

Become knowledgeable about teenage brain changes and differences and make sure they realise that these changes are biological, positive (aiming towards independence), universal (though with some different behaviours depending on culture/environment), and not their fault (or yours!) – Blame My Brain has all the details and I give as much information as possible in my talks.

Become knowledgeable about the biology of stress and stress management, and the different stresses teenagers are under – and, again, make sure they know, too. The Teenage Guide Stress has all this, as well as the material in my talks.

Create downtime – including exercise – but this downtime must consist of things that are pleasure for the teenager. At least half an hour a day (especially during busiest times) of pleasurable and relaxing activities that they have chosen. Make sure your high-achieving, hard-working teenager realises that breaks make the brain work and learn better.

Encourage reading for pleasure. This has all sorts of likely benefits, including switching the mind away from worries and reducing heart rate.

Need to say something serious? Choose your moment! Not when your teenager is chilling/watching favourite programme/playing favourite game. “I want to talk about XXX at some point this evening – let me know when is a good time.” And follow it through.

Be aware of the problem of digital distraction – people do not work as well when connected to a gadget that may deliver messages, whether texts or social interaction. (Loads of research on this. However, many people do work just as well, or better, with music on, at least on certain tasks – but it needs to be the right music. Encourage your teenager to be honest about what music works and what doesn’t.)

On that subject, make sure your teenager has enough time each day switched off from all gadgets – and do that yourself, too… We can’t fairly or usefully say “It’s good for you to switch off sometimes” and then not do it ourselves.

Nutrition makes a big difference, too – I’ve blogged about this here. And, obviously, there are ways you can help – though the best way is by getting your teenager to take control over her own diet, understanding that the brain won’t work well without the right foods.

Dieting will have a negative impact on performance at school. Exams are the worst time to be dieting.

Obviously, if I am giving a talk, I can give a lot more context and the science behind this, but I thought this might be a helpful alternative.

Schools, if you’d like to invite me to talk, please ask as far ahead as possible – I am almost always booked far in advance. And that especially applies if you’re asking me to do INSET for staff. I want to say yes, but I can’t if that month is already too full.

]]>http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/how-parents-can-help-with-teenage-stress/feed/0March giveawayhttp://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/3439/
http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/3439/#commentsSun, 01 Mar 2015 07:43:14 +0000http://www.nicolamorgan.com/?p=3439READ MORE]]>Yikes, where did February go? I’m really overworked, and on tour, but I promised to give away a free book each 1st of the month and also to post a free Brain Stick activity. So, I will try. In a huge hurry. In a hotel bedroom too late at night.

The winner is….I can’t say yet, as I’ve only just emailed her and I need her permission to name her, but the initials are MF! She will be able to choose any of my books, signed to whomever she wishes. I love this giving away bit!

And the free Brain Stick activity… I’m sorry. I’ve failed. I’ve spent the last twenty minutes thinking about this. It was too big an ask and just takes so long to extract an activity from the 100+ resources and make it work out of context. Brain Sticks are a huge collection of carefully thought-through activities, most with lots of information attached and they are all linked and work best in context. They took me hundred of hours to make and I can’t seem to find the time to work out how to give extracts away without spending more time than I have.

So, I need to focus on a) selling them (which I hate – but I have just had some very good news about that – more later!) and b) writing books and c) doing the events that are increasingly dominating my time. And to think that one of the reasons for creating Brain Sticks was so that they would be instead of events! Well, I failed there, too! I’m asked to do more and more. Including overseas – of which, also more soon!

Anyway, I WILL carry on giving a book away every month to one lucky Brain Sane newsletter subscriber (it’s free!). If your school would like a Brain Stick, with all its huge value, please buy one! I’m getting terrific feedback. And they come with a free copy of Know Your Brain.

Very tired and becoming more than a little rambling and incoherent. One day, someone will invent a stick you can actually put in your brain to make it work better. I’d buy one.

]]>http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/3439/feed/0Resources for INSET on the reading brainhttp://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/resources-for-inset-on-the-reading-brain/
http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/resources-for-inset-on-the-reading-brain/#commentsFri, 27 Feb 2015 08:00:51 +0000http://www.nicolamorgan.com/?p=3434READ MORE]]>A big wave and thank you to the Suffolk Schools Library Service, who have teamed up with the Norfolk Schools Library Service, to ask me to deliver a training day (today) about the reading brain and how different sorts of reading affect us – and something about the teenage brain and stress, incorporating reading for pleasure. *pauses for breath*

As ever, I have resources for them, and you. I’ve put below just the ones that contain any hyperlinks or which are useful for those who aren’t at today’s talk. Those at the talk will get lots more!

But one thing I’m really looking forward to is using for the very first time the wonderful illustrations I recently commissioned from artist Katherine Lynas. I’ll be blogging soon about the process of choosing and then working with an artist. She’s done five wonderful illustrations about the teenage brain changes, and this is one of them, about risk-taking:

Love it! Well done, Katherine!

]]>http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/resources-for-inset-on-the-reading-brain/feed/2New boots – you know what that means?http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/new-boots-you-know-what-that-means/
http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/new-boots-you-know-what-that-means/#commentsWed, 25 Feb 2015 18:00:35 +0000http://www.nicolamorgan.com/?p=3428READ MORE]]>As you may know, I have a wicked habit of buying a new pair of boots or shoes each time I sign a new contract. I’ve recently signed three contracts, but couldn’t read two of them so, just to be sure, I only bought one pair of boots.

The new contracts were (apparently) for the Chinese and Indonesian publications of The Teenage Guide to Stress. Obviously, I jest: I could in fact read them, except for a few bits which remain in squiggles that I hope are just names and addresses.

And the contract I could read? A new book! And, even better, I’ve already written it so I don’t even have to do anything. It’s called Study Skills and will be simultaneously published in Scotland by Leckie and England (because the curriculum is different, so publication isn’t normally in both) by Collins. I’m co-authoring it – four people have each been given a section to write. My bits were about looking after your brain and dealing with stress.

Cover coming soon! I’ll blog more about this book later. Really, I just wanted you to see the boots

Off to do some school and training events in said boots. And the SAS conference in the middle. Balaclavas must be worn.

]]>http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/new-boots-you-know-what-that-means/feed/8Inspiring young women: conference for schoolshttp://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/inspiring-young-women-conference-for-schools/
http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/inspiring-young-women-conference-for-schools/#commentsWed, 18 Feb 2015 18:11:30 +0000http://www.nicolamorgan.com/?p=3419READ MORE]]>Very excited about a keynote speech I’m doing at this wonderful BrainCanDo conference on March 6th at Queen Anne’s School, Caversham. I’ve been preparing it today and planning to stir some hearts and raise some spirits, while encouraging “different” thinking. There will be around 800 in the audience, 90% of them being young women of 14 to 18, and they don’t want to hear clichés or vapidity so they’re not going to hear it from me. They might hear some things they aren’t expecting, things that will make them think twice and think carefully.

I plan to tell some of my life story – the horrible (and embarrassing) bits – and share what I’ve learnt, things I wish I’d known a long time ago. There will be a nasty picture of a brain (but I’ll warn them, in case they want to look away.) And some amusing photos of me as a child. And a quote from my school reports…

I plan to tell them to throw open doors and smash glass ceilings and to do it with charm and decency. I will tell them not to let their gender be their cage or define who they can be. I will tell them not to let anyone walk all over them with 50 shades of patronising or violent abuse.

If you’re coming, I hope you enjoy the day. It looks fantastic!

]]>http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/inspiring-young-women-conference-for-schools/feed/0FABULOUS opportunity for an English teacher in Scotland!http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/fabulous-opportunity-for-an-english-teacher-in-scotland/
http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/fabulous-opportunity-for-an-english-teacher-in-scotland/#commentsThu, 12 Feb 2015 09:49:26 +0000http://www.nicolamorgan.com/?p=3415READ MORE]]>I bring you news of a terrific creative writing opportunity for a lucky teacher. The Pushkin Prizes are an annual creative writing competition, bringing together young writers from Russia and young writers (S1 and S2) from Scotland. I’ve been a Pushkin judge a couple of times and it really is a wonderful competition. The eight winners from Scotland and two from Russia go to Moniack Mhor near Inverness for a wonderful week of creative writing inspiration with experienced writers. And one teacher from a Scottish school gets a free place, giving him or her the opportunity to extend and develop their own teaching practice. Of course, the tricky bit is how your school will manage your absence for a week but it really is a beneficial experience for an English teacher and one which will surely benefit the school when you return full of fabulous ideas.

Here are the details from the Pushkin organisers. (Or click here to download the flyer and show it to your school!)

When? Pushkin Prizewinners’ Week, 27th April to 1st May 2015

Where? Moniack Mhor, near Inverness

Every year we offer a free place at Pushkin Prizewinners’ Week to a teacher from a Scottish school.

Pushkin Prizewinners’ Week is a 5-day residential course for the ten winners of The Pushkin Prizes, a unique creative writing initiative for pupils in their first and second years at secondary schools in Scotland. It is held at Moniack Mhor, Scotland’s Creative Writing Centre. We also welcome two winners from schools in St Petersburg, where a parallel competition is organised.

The course is informally structured, with group workshops and individual tutorials run by our two experienced tutors, Gerry Cambridge and Diana Hendry. It’s a busy and enjoyable week set in the stunning surroundings of the Scottish Highlands. Along with creative writing – in all genres – the programme includes a ghost story night and a ceilidh, cooking, nature walks, varying from year to year depending on the make-up of the group. For example, last year’s winners included two accomplished ukulele players and a Russian fan of the Rocky Horror Show, which was a first.

For the teacher, there are all kinds of opportunities to learn from the tutors, gaining splendid ideas for encouraging creative writing within the school curriculum and environment. Both Gerry and Diana are very generous with their expertise and ideas and the teacher is encouraged to participate fully in all the workshops and other aspects of the course.

The other ‘grown-ups’ on the course are Lindsey Fraser and Kathryn Ross, who administer the Pushkin Prizes, Natalya Ushmanova, the Director of The Pushkin Prizes in St Petersburg, and the two tutors – and we are supported wonderfully by the outstanding staff at Moniack Mhor.

]]>http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/fabulous-opportunity-for-an-english-teacher-in-scotland/feed/0Training day for schools on teenage emotional health, wellbeing and resiliencehttp://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/training-day-for-schools-on-teenage-emotional-health-wellbeing-and-resilience/
http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/training-day-for-schools-on-teenage-emotional-health-wellbeing-and-resilience/#commentsWed, 11 Feb 2015 11:47:33 +0000http://www.nicolamorgan.com/?p=3414READ MORE]]>Announcing this day-long event for the Boarding Schools Association on Monday March 9th, in Edinburgh. The details have only just gone on the BSA website so please DO spread the word and encourage your school to book a place. I gather some schools have already booked, and my somewhat similar* one for the Scottish Council of Independent Schools was oversubscribed and had great feedback so don’t delay. The emphasis is on teenagers and their needs, not specifically boarders, so you don’t have to work in a boarding school to benefit.

(*I will be covering some different topics, focusing more on the wellbeing/stress side, but there is an overlap. If you personally came to the SCIS one, I recommend you send someone else from your school, so that you have a range of expertise to offer your students.)

It was my idea to invite Eva Musby, expert on eating disorders, to talk for a short time in the afternoon and I’m really looking forward to her contribution. I’ve been recommending her book far and wide.

I have so much practical information to share on these topics, information that will really help adults to help young people flourish in our frenetic, high-pressured world.

]]>http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/training-day-for-schools-on-teenage-emotional-health-wellbeing-and-resilience/feed/0Celebrating National Libraries Dayhttp://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/celebrating-national-libraries-day/
http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/celebrating-national-libraries-day/#commentsSat, 07 Feb 2015 08:30:04 +0000http://www.nicolamorgan.com/?p=3402READ MORE]]>Today is National Libraries Day. Too many people don’t realise why libraries never could be replaced by the anything the internet can offer – I argued this recently, explaining that without libraries and trained librarians there will be no readers, or at least only very wealthy ones. So I’m not going to repeat myself.

I’m going to list the benefits of reading for pleasure. That, for the avoidance of doubt, is the act of reading what one chooses, because one plans to enjoy oneself. You don’t need to read for pleasure thinking consciously of the benefits, only that you will enjoy the reading. After all, books are not meant to be spinach. But the benefits come without our looking for them.

Today, I’m speaking to the parents of Wellington College about the teenage brain and stress. I will mention reading for pleasure as a de-stressing strategy, as I always do. (I spoke to pupils about the brain and stress last year and was invited back again to speak to the Year 10s yesterday and parents today.) By the way, one of the books that I recommend when I do INSET days on the teenage brain and wellbeing is Teaching Happiness and Wellbeing in Schools, by Ian Morris, who is Wellington’s head of Wellbeing.

Here are the benefits of reading for pleasure:

Pleasure. Don’t be scared of pleasure or regard it as anything less than essential, just because it’s pleasure: pleasure is a benefit in itself, when, as with reading, it’s a pleasure that has no associated risk. (On the other hand, I have had stories of pupils being late for school after not being able to stop reading Fleshmarket.)

Increasing knowledge of the world or an aspect of it. (Granted, some books don’t do this but if “learning something” happens to add to your pleasure, you’ll probably choose books strong on this element.)

You can stop thinking about worries – certainly, if you achieve that “flow”, you will switch off from your worries for the time you’re reading. And there’s a good chance that you won’t go straight back to the worry afterwards.

Reading for pleasure in teenagers is strongly associated with higher attainment, based on studies of many thousands of pupils in 65 countries. We can’t be sure there’s a causal link, but it’s certainly part of a co-existing set of experiences. For your ref, some articles on this hereandhere.

It’s good brain exercise, as reading uses many areas of the brain at once.

Allowing risk-free risk-taking for teenagers – I blogged about this here. The biological urge to take risks can be strong in teenagers and yet we prevent them from taking many risks and put every barrier in their way. I understand that but it doesn’t make the biological urge go away. Let them take risks with their reading. They won’t break anything.

I believe that reading for pleasure should be treated like healthy food: essential to mental and physical health. But remember, it’s not spinach, something which we tend to eat for the sake of its benefits. It’s more like strawberries, something we eat for pleasure, forgetting that they are also good for us.

So read for pleasure for pleasure. Just that. As long as you remember that it’s the sort of pleasure which is not a luxury, but an essential to wellbeing.

]]>http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/celebrating-national-libraries-day/feed/0Resources for pupils and parentshttp://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/resources-for-pupils-and-parents/
http://www.nicolamorgan.com/heartsong-blog/resources-for-pupils-and-parents/#commentsFri, 06 Feb 2015 07:45:36 +0000http://www.nicolamorgan.com/?p=3404READ MORE]]>This evening and tomorrow, I’m at Wellington College on a return visit. I’m talking to Year 10 today, about the brain and stress, and to parents tomorrow, about the teenage brain and stress. Here are some of the resources I’ll mention, including the handouts provided at the events. I’ve also given the school some other handouts for pupils, which I’ve not included here.

You are not me. We are two entirely different people. We share photograph albums and some memories and our DNA would be an exact match. We have mostly the same brain cells, too, though the connections are very different. I wish I’d known then that I would change so much and leave the angry, reactive misfit behind. I know now why you are as you are. I wish I’d known it when I was you. Wish the adults around me had known it, too. For when you are forty, scientists will discover fascinating and reassuring things about teenage brains. If you knew those things now, you’d feel less confused and guilty. You’d understand why you flew off the handle for no apparent reason yesterday. You’d understand why you broke that school rule so spectacularly riskily; why you just seem to do things without thinking beyond the excitement of the moment. Why you’re so easily led by your peer group, so desperate to belong. And you know that excruciating incident in front of those 6th form girls? Well, one day, scientists will look in the teenage brain and see physical differences in reactions to social embarrassment. It’s not your fault.

Will this understanding make a difference, though? If how you behave is guided by changes in your brain and the stressors around you, doesn’t that take away your freewill? No. I’ve learnt something in recent years: the more we understand our biological and psychological drivers, the furrows and paths we find ourselves taking and why we make mistakes, the better (though never perfectly) we can control it all. We hold the driving reins but the horse neither responds to aggressive beating nor to us looking in the wrong direction as though nothing mattered: it responds to clever twitches and tweaks, gentle handling, subtle guidance, proper care. It responds to effort and practice, to forgiveness and love.

Let me tell you what else I wish you knew.

People love you even if they don’t seem to understand you. If you open up to them, they will also understand.

You are not alone.

You are neither bad nor mad.

You’re just not coping very well right now and many of the people around you aren’t helping much. Though there is that one teacher who is going to write in your school report, “Nicola is not very happy,” when all the others will tell you to stop behaving so badly. You will not forget that teacher’s intuition.

You don’t have to get everything right or be brilliant at everything. Very soon, it won’t matter that you can’t remember those formulae for different sugars and you’ll actually laugh about the fact you had to take that chemistry exam four times and still failed. You felt stupid then but you’ll learn memory strategies and one day you’ll find yourself giving speeches without notes, because you’ll genuinely love the topics you’re speaking about.

It’s often stressful being a teenager. But you’ll forget the details and most of the feelings. Amnesia is wonderfully therapeutic. I have forgotten every single one of the friendship problems you must be having at the moment. (Though the diary which you started last year reminds me. Could you possibly stop writing it now? No, I thought not.)

You are a work in progress; you are becoming and have not become; you are not finished, and with luck you never will be: there’s always room to change. Everything changes, including you. Some of it you can’t control and some you can.