5 Strangest Pizza Shapes

Pizza is well-known for being round. Sure, on some occasions, you might be tempted to order a square pizza, but everyone knows that’s absolutely crazy and shouldn’t be done under any circumstances lest you anger the pizza gods. Unless it’s a square deep dish pizza. Then it’s ok. But I digress.

Should you choose to branch out and get a pizza outside the realm of traditional shapes and sizes, then you should probably look to the Internet for inspiration. Here are some of the craziest pizza shapes found on the Internet

Heart-Shaped Pizza for Your Sweetie

While it may be the smallest deviation from a traditional round pizza, a heart-shaped pizza is something you can actually purchase from a variety of pizza places. Typically available during Valentine’s Day, many places, local or otherwise, offer a special heart-shaped pizza for those who are too cheap and not creative enough to take their girlfriend out on a real Valentine’s Day date. One such places offers one that comes with a diamond ring and a bottle of Cristal, though this would set you back several thousand dollars. Also it’s no longer in business, but still, it’s got to be one of the craziest pizza deals around. Or you could just make your own heart-shaped pizza, since it requires the sort of skill one might find in a domesticated badger.

Remember the ridiculous edit of Superman II when he tears the logo off of his unitard and throws it at the bad guys, enveloping them and preventing their escape? Imagine doing that with the Superman “S”-shaped pizza. You may not prevent them from getting away, but you might, you know, burn them or something. Pizza sauce gets hot.

The pizza looks incredibly easy to make, requiring little more than some patient shaping of the dough and the construction of the “S” using your favorite toppings. To keep in line with the color scheme, pepperoni or, heck, even red peppers are ideal, but really you can go with any type of topping to create the “S.” You would have to cut up the topping to get the shape just right, but if you’re in a hurry you can probably just throw it on in the general shape of the “S.” But then it wouldn’t really be a Superman pizza so much as it would be the Superman pizza’s physically deformed brother.

This pizza made the rounds on the Internet within the past couple of years. It makes sense really, ‘cause it’s clearly nothin’ to “F” with. For the uninitiated, the Wu-Tang Clan was a popular rap group in the nineties, rising to dominance, presumably because of how cool their logo is. Many of the members went off to become actors and famous solo rappers, but in the end, they were all overshadowed by one of the coolest pizzas in the history of mankind.

Clearly the creation of this pizza took some skill, what with the numerous curves and angles. They must have had a Wu-Tang pizza slicer. Then the placement of the toppings! Black olives to form the name of the band surrounded by...I don’t know, it looks like jalapenos and mushrooms, but I could be wrong.

I don’t care if it’s geared for kids, I would pay any amount of money to eat a pizza shaped like a dinosaur. It’s worth paying a little extra to make it look like your pizza is trying to eat your breadsticks. The one in the picture is clearly designed for kids, as its only topping is cheese, and sporting a single pepperoni for an eye. A REAL MAN’S dinosaur pizza would be three feet from head to toe, with marinara sauce dripping from its jaws made out of peppers and overlapping pepperoni to create its crunchy scales.

The “Forever Alone” rage face - a series of humorous cartoon characters meant to convey various emotions and ideas - is one of the funniest on the Internet. It’s just so...sad, with its giant jaw and single tear streaming down its cheek showcasing just how sad the poor little guy really is. But let’s face it, we’ve all been the “Forever Alone” type at some point before coming out of our shells, so we can totally empathize with the poor guy. In fact, he deserves to be emulated in the form of a pizza, even it is apparently by accident.

The Forever Alone pizza was listed as being ordered as a heart-shaped pizza, but the careful placement of the toppings and absolutely poor shaping of the heart makes it far more likely that it was created intentionally and the original poster was simply trying to capitalize on his “forever aloneness.” Either way, with a little work, it can be one of the greatest - and saddest - pizzas ever created.