Lessons Learned | Part 1

There is always a sort of magical vibe surrounding the new year, with many people enthusiastically setting new goals, making new resolutions and taking up new challenges. I love their optimism and the energy they radiate. It’s heartwarming. In case you’re wondering, and even if you’re not, I don’t belong to that group of people. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in new beginnings. I mean that in the new-beginnings-totally-blow-me-away kinda way. 😄

But I hate being voluntarily stressed out about stuff. And going over stuff I want/need to get done is enough to get me all worked up, so I’m not kidding when I say I don’t do lists. Before you judge me, I’m not impulsive and this isn’t a debate about whether being spontaneous is better than planning ahead, nor am I encouraging anyone to be unsystematic and unorganized. I just do things my way, and practically writing down goals for myself is just not my thing. ‘Aint perfect, but I’m going strong. Alhumdulillah. 😊

You’ve got this.

Despite my poor track record with lists, I did make one this time anyway. Haha don’t worry, it’s not a planner or goals list, just a bunch of new things I learned in life. There’s going to be a lot of shameless preaching though. So if you hate random people throwing around unsolicited life-lessons at you like confetti, then you can choose not to read any further. Because I’m going to do just that.

The rest of y’all, brace yourselves. 😉

1. Self-doubt sucks: It sucks every bit of happiness out of you till you start questioning your own worth, it suffocates you with uncertainty, makes you anxious and responsible for everything that is not in your control. It’s like aimlessly kicking around a crushed soda can. Except you are the crushed soda can.

2. Hurt messes up our minds in ugly ways: Don’t make assumptions. Did you hear what I said? I said don’t make assumptions. You sure you heard me right the first time? I said do not make A-s-s-u-m-p-t-i-o-n-s. That’s rule#1 for staying sane. No matter how hurt you are by something someone said or did, it is stupid to make assumptions about why they did it cause it’s only going to hurt you more, as wrong assumptions naturally lead to seriously flawed conclusions, and obviously worsen the situation. If it affects you so much, talk about it to them straight up if you have to, but never ever assume. I’ve noticed that many people consider it their right to assume the worst about people who have wronged them. Like, I get it, maybe the people that hurt you really suck and things really are bad. But just maybe they don’t and things aren’t as bad as you think they are. I’m not saying you should forget the hurt and act as if it never bothered you (although you should). But before you feed your mind with negative information about someone, confirm its accuracy first.

The dude was right.

3. Swearing is a sign of weakness: It’s an act of sheer weakness. It shows how little control you have over the words that come out of your mouth. You don’t always have to be the loudest or use profanity in order to prove your strength. So whenever you have the urge to cuss someone out, you should remember that as Muslims we must either speak good or remain silent.. As a general rule, there is no excuse good enough to warrant bad language. Ever. Anger, disappointment, out of habit or just for fun. Bad language is Bad. Language.

4. Don’t give your opinion unless asked: THIS. I say this from first hand experience. What most of us fail to understand is that no two situations are exactly alike. Even if we have had experience with something similar and no matter how genuine our intentions to help the person/situation are, our perspective is going to differ from them. And when perspectives differ, it’s best to just leave it at that because pressing on the issue will make you appear extremely judgmental and critical of people. You may even end up hurting the person just by sharing your opinion. While we may think we shared helpful information, others simply may not have wanted to even hear it in the first place. 😑 Instead we should practice being a good listener and try to see and understand the situation from the other person’s perspective rather than jump to conclusions and provide hypothetical solutions to their real problems.

5. Society, you’re a crazy breed Judgment. Control. Standards. Effing double-standards. Man that shit can drive a person crazy. 😧 We seriously need to understand that conforming to society’s standards does not set us free. It confines us, controls us, and binds us with chains of enslavement. It transforms us into one of its many many many clones. Never forget this, there is nothing quite like being yourself. Just be you, let society go screw itself.

So that’s about it.

Oh and remember…

’cause I’m cutting down on the swearing 😄

If you didn’t enjoy reading this post, I hope you at least benefitted from it. And if you didn’t benefit from it, I hope you at least enjoyed reading it. And if you neither enjoyed nor benefitted. Too bad. I’m still writing a part 2 insha’Allah. 😎

Ameen wa feekum barakAllah! ❤
Jazak Allahu khairan for all your kind words and motivation! May Allah سبحانه و تعالى accept it from me and you and grant us the ability to invite people to this beautiful Deen of Islam through our writing and Da’wah. Ameen!! Love & duas ukhtiii! I’m really really looking forward to reading blog posts from you too Insha’Allah! 😊❤

Thanks for this Yusra. I agree with every point you made. I mean EVERY point. I was pointing to myself the entire time reading it. Love this post. In sha Allah will read the second part when it comes out. I’ll keep you in my prayers sister.

I couldn’t agree more with this post!! I love your use of sarcasm!! Even though some parts are very funny, this article is serious talk and we must imbibe all these lessons in our lives. Will make life so easy, inshaAllah. Can’t wait for part two.
Allahumma baarik laki. ❤ ❤ ❤