Friday, March 21, 2008

THE G-4 POWER MAC IS DEAD...LONG LIVE THE NEW MAC BOOK WITH POWER SURGE PROTECTION AND BACKUP...

OPEN LETTER TO MY COMPUTER WHO CRASHED...Dear EX-Mac,It's been a week now without you. I can't help but think you will regret this decision of yours. Sure we were used to each other. Sure we started to take each other for granted but you never gave me a chance to do back up or even go for counseling...I miss all my emails...my thesis proposal (that was a real unnecessary and petty retaliation on your part). I appreciate that you at least gave me the courtesy of allowing me to have all my manuscripts on thumb drives but losing my homework for my very last PhD class? That was below the belt. What ever happens with the rest of your life -- I hope you are happy with your choice of the mac tech service person -- Dustin is his name? If you ask me you'll regret it. Oh and I haven't let myself sit around and mope. No sir! I'm going out with a new guy.Here's his photo.He's a LOT YOUNGER THAN YOU!!!! And has MORE THAN ENOUGH GIGS to satisfy me. His cord is MUCH MUCH longer than yours but you know what they say...it's not the length of the cord -- it's the energy that goes through it and he has plenty for me.I want you to know that I have no hard feelings...really...other than I hope you rot forever in a pile of used computer parts I will try to be amicable as we did produce several wonderful projects together.By the way LOTTERY will not be speaking to you ever again. He is really more my child than yours no matter what I can always depend on HIS support.Good bye forever,(oh and no matter what you say I KNOW it wasn't a power surge that lost me your love -- I remember those advertisements for Mac-Made-Easy that you left laying around. I should have been suspicious then but I thought you would NEVER EVER crash on me.I was SO wrong.Good bye and Aloha,You can send all correspondence through my agent Dorian Karchmar of William Morris Agency. I WON'T be returning your calls.Patricia Wood

My therapist thinks writing this letter will help me cope. I feel better already. For any of you bloggers who think I may have lost your emails please DO email me at Patricia@patriciawoodauthor.comSympathy cards can be sent to me care of William Morris Agency.Oh.And a huge HUGE congratulations to all those who were long listed for the ORANGE PRIZE for fiction:

Anita Amirrezvani The Blood of FlowersStella Duffy The Room of Lost ThingsJennifer Egan The KeepAnne Enright The GatheringLinda Grant The Clothes on Their BacksTessa Hadley The Master BedroomNancy Huston Fault LinesGail Jones SorrySadie Jones The OutcastLauren Liebenberg The Voluptuous Delights of Peanut Butter and JamCharlotte Mendelson When We Were BadDeborah Moggach In The DarkAnita Nair MistressHeather O'Neill Lullabies for Little CriminalsElif Shafak The Bastard of IstanbulDalia Sofer The Septembers of ShirazScarlett Thomas The End of Mr YCarol Topolski Monster LoveRose Tremain The Road HomePatricia Wood Lottery

31 comments:

As I type on my PowerBook G4 which I bought from my sister for four hundred bucks after her hard drive crashed, I'm reminded of the day when my husband and I pried its tiny body open to insert a new hard drive.

The dents are still there, along with new ones from the time I tripped on the cord and sent the little guy crashing to the floor.

I shall accept the inevitable demise of this little 12" wonder and remember to back up my data on a regular basis.

Hilarious post! I almost snorted my coffee all over my PC. Yep, I have a PC. My husband, daughter, brother, sister-in-law and father may have all gone to the Dark Side, but I'm still a loyal PC user. ;)

First off, congratulations on the success with Lottery. You must be on cloud nine or ten. Also congratulations on the film rights.

As for your letter to your computer, yeah, I feel your pain. Mine crashed with a 406-page novel and a corrupt back up diskette. Even so, I had to laugh at your letter. Good job on keeping a sense of humor about it all.

Congratulations! I feel so honored to have had an interview with you and now you are an Orange prize nominated book author. I feel Veklempt! Wow This is such awesome news and you totally deserve it!!!!!

Well Pat,The crash of the old Mac was a sign, you see.Don't you think it's time you get back to your housewifey roots. Play with cats, knit little bonnets for them, maybe take some around to the poor?

(Actually, condolences on the loss. But good for you for not wasting time and buying a new one. Last year, it's what I did. I lost everything.... couldn't find the last 10 chapters of my novel until last month!)

You have the same Mac as me! I hate when they do that. The first thing I did when I got my new was go out and buy a back-up system! Ouch...I learned my lesson the hard way too. Congrats on the nomination.

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About Me

I consider myself a renaissance woman.
I have been in the Army, worked as a medical technologist, competed as a professional horsewoman, been an educator, a diver,a sailor, a PHD student, writer and now an author.

SV ORION

About ORION

Orion is a 48-ft Celestial Ketch. She was abandoned in the middle of the Pacific Ocean during a storm and over the course of several months found her way back to the Big Island.
When my husband and I first looked at her and found out her history we decided she was the boat for us and bought her.
She sails like a dream and we love her dearly.