Dr Jen brings her A game

I understand you recently said that anyone who is going to fuck with you better bring their A game.

…

From tampons to tomatoes to toxic lube your website is a scare factory. Literally. It’s either made up (often poorly, but with liberal use of the word toxin) or someone’s hypothesis with little to no supporting data. Tampons are not vaginal death sticks, vegetables with lectins are not killing us, vaginas don’t need steaming, Epstein Barr virus (EBV) does not cause every thyroid disease, and for fuck’s sake no one needs to know their latex farmer what they need to know is that the only thing between them and HIV or gonorrhea is a few millimeters of latex so glove that shit up. Here’s an A game pro tip for you, if you are writing a “sex post” use an expert who actually knows that the WHO has guidelines on lubricants. Your post on lubes is so bad it’s a joke.

You have the gall to tell people like me that we better bring our A game when you bring ghosts and magic to the table. Literally. You promote a ghost whisperer and crystals and of course jade eggs that one recharges with energy from the moon. Really, a dude who talks with ghosts, Naturopaths, and a jade eggthusiast who has a certification from the school she founded is on your A squad?

Jade eggs? That one recharges with energy from the moon, or the sun, or winsome distant Pluto?

Q

Why and how are crystals so powerful?

A

This is where science and mysticism intersect: Crystals are millions of years old and were forged during the earliest part of the earth’s formation. I think of crystals as a timeless database of knowledge, because they retain all the information they have ever been exposed to. Crystals absorb information—whether a severe weather pattern, or the experience of an ancient ceremony—and pass it to anyone that comes into contact with them.

But where’s the science?? I missed the science! I see the mysticism all right but where does it intersect with science?

How do crystals absorb information? How does Paltrow know they do? How do they pass it to people who touch them?

And ancient therapies? Girl, you love those. This means that you want your medicine from before we understood that bacteria and viruses were a thing, like when people thought tuberculosis was caused by vampires? What about trepanation or drinking Gladiators’ blood? Those are ancient therapies. Are they in your rotation? Honestly, it’s like you and your experts use Horrible Histories as a reference.

Your goopshit bothers me because it affects my patients. They read your crackpot theories and they stop eating tomatoes (side note, if tomatoes are toxic why do Italians have a longer life expectancy than Americans?) or haven’t had a slice of bread for two years, they spend money on organic tampons they don’t need, they ask for unindicted testing for adrenal fatigue (and often pay a lot via copayments or paying out-of-pocket), or they obsess that they have systemic Candida (they don’t). I have a son with thyroid disease and I worry that in a few years he might read the kind of batshit crazy thyroid theories you promote and wonder if he should stop his medication and try to cure the chronic EBV that he doesn’t have. I also worry that science will have to spend more and more resources disproving snake oil as opposed to testing real hypotheses. I worry that you make people worry and that you are lowering the world’s medical I.Q.

Platrow’s bullshit is funny in a way, but it’s very harmful. She’s Trumpesque in the arrogance of it – what makes her think she gets to make up her own medical facts? Just the fact that she’s a movie star? That’s no different from Trump thinking his reality tv stardom makes him a suitable candidate for the presidency.

It does not take my A game to counter the snake oil, biologically implausible theories, incorrect information, and magic that you and GOOP pass off as health advice. Really, I’m not sure it even takes my C game. It might take a game, like Clue, but that’s about it.

We’re not fucking with you we’re correcting you and you know what? We’re not going to stop.

XOXO

Science

*May 24, 2017: Correction, this post has been updated to reflect the fact that GOOP claims the energy of jade eggs is recharged by the moon and not the sun.

8 Responses to “Dr Jen brings her A game”

Geez. She says “Crystals are millions of years old and were forged during the earliest part of Earth’s formation”. Didn’t you see that? That’s science! Real science!

Seriously, I have to deal with this stuff all the time. My students read this nonsense online, then come into my science class and want to argue that what I am telling them is wrong, and they can prove it. You go, Dr. Jen. We need more like you.

Funny you should describe her arrogance as Trumpesque: she described his election win as “an exciting time to be an American” and “such an amazing time for entrepeneurship.” She must have sensed a kindred spirit.

The answer is that science is difficult, crystals and religions are easy, they can be ‘explained’ in 5 minutes. Science education requires a lifetime. Let’s be realistic, many people are too lazy or just too stupid to bother with all that science stuff, so they’re easy marks for the Paltrow and people like her. I’m a business school graduate btw, and I’m not claiming any expertise in science, just a basic understanding. It’s amazing how people can go through high school and understand so little. Another problem is that scientifically trained medical and health practitioners can sometimes promote ‘alternative medicines’, they’re nice little earners. My local pharmacy has hundreds of bottles of ‘natural remedies’ on display.

iknklast,@1

That seems very frustrating indeed. The most annoying people in my experience are those who ‘don’t know what they don’t know’.

My local pharmacy has hundreds of bottles of ‘natural remedies’ on display.

I’ve often wondered how pharmacists keep their registration when they do that. I know it’s commercially legal, but surely on the ethics side of the registration there must be something about selling known garbage to people…