Poll: Majority Of Evangelicals Would Support Satan If He Ran As Republican Candidate

Evangelicals think Satan is the right candidate for them.

A poll of Evangelicals revealed that they would vote for Satan himself if he demonstrated good Republican qualities.

Right wing politics and dogmatic religion have always gone hand in hand, with people from this walk of life believing that the right way to live is to follow strict rules set by others hundreds, if not thousands of years ago.

Evangelicals take the bible literally, and they believe that salvation can be achieved by living your life to the strict set of guidelines laid out in the bible.

Some choice rules in the bible that people, even the most devout Christians tend to forget are not being allowed to eat owls, never sit in a place where a menstruating woman has sat and not uttering the name of any other Gods, even in casual conversation.

Of course, these rules appear in the Old Testament, the part of the bible that people like to brush over because it is weird and indefensible in many parts.

But Evangelicals have so much faith in their bible characters that the LifeWay Research poll indicated 72% of them would vote for the fallen angel, if he showed good Republican morals and adhered to their policies. Does anyone have the heart to tell them that he is a fictional character?

The researchers said:

“Most of those we surveyed agreed that they would in fact vote for Satan, as long as he verbally supported pro-life and pro-Second Amendment platform positions.

A majority of respondents ‘strongly agreed’ that it was important for a candidate to pay lip service to the hot-button issues of the religious right, while strongly disagreeing that a candidate’s personal penchant for tempting countless millions of souls into the fires of hell would affect his public policies.”