Obama and Boehner Have Unproductive Phone Call; Budget Not Budging

Guess who spoke on the phone today? It’s definitely not Dr. Peter Higgs and the boys back at CERN! Why, it’s mutually antagonistic colleagues John Boehner and Barack Obama, who chatted via telephone at two p.m. today. During the call, the the president attempted to convince Boehner to convince his mutually antagonistic colleagues, the House Republicans, to pass a budget bill that averts reaching the debt ceiling and subsequent worldwide economic disaster while leaving Obamacare alone for the time being. Naturally, Boehner will have none of this. (Or maybe he knows he could not convince huge swaths of the House Republicans to drink water in a desert.) Per a Speaker spokesperson: “The president called the speaker again today to reiterate that he won’t negotiate on a government funding bill or debt limit increase.”

In a press conference The New York Timespans as “hastily scheduled,” Obama contested this characterization: “I am happy to talk with him and other Republicans about anything, not just issues I think are important but also issues that they think are important. But I also told him that having such a conversation, talks, negotiations shouldn’t require hanging the threats of a government shutdown or economic chaos over the heads of the American people.”

What should hang above the heads of American people during bitter partisan brinksmanship? Misspelled protest signs, by the looks of it.