Serving you sarcasm

The Wanted Life: The E! Network will give a show to anybody

This weekend I saw a preview this weekend for E! Network’s new show The Wanted Life wherein British boy-band The Wanted, having been effectively overshadowed by the younger and perhaps better looking One Direction, move to LA to see if they can make it in America, or at least how much trouble they can get into while trying.

You probably know of the Wanted from their one and only song, which is admittedly catchy:

I’m unclear as to why the Wanted is following up their one single with a reality show, surely following it up with more music would have been a cheaper marketing strategy. Alas, who am I to judge? But I will say this. The Wanted Life has made me realize that there is likely nobody E! won’t give a show to.

We have Ryan Lochte (CHYEAAA!), Olympic swimmer, bro-ing around with all his bros, yelling his catch phrase “chyea” and wearing knee socks to night clubs where he picks up a lot. He doesn’t come across as incredibly bright, Mr. Lochte, and the show essentially about watching him party very hard. Stimulating.

Then we have shows like Retail Royalty and Dukes of Melrose, which is about the owners of “renowned” boutique Decades. I’m not even sure what to say about these shows.

The Saturdays, that other well-known English pop group, also had a show on E! for a while, also about trying to make it in America. The Saturdays are all incredibly babein women who say that they get compared to the Spice Girls a lot (naturally) and while I’m not sure if their show helped them make it in America, it did help solidify the belief, in my mind at least, that Britain’s major export must be pop bands.

E! also broadcasts a lot of other really popular shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians watched by millions of people and Married to Jonas about the eldest Jonas brother’s marriage, which I assume is watched by many (though I can’t even imagine why) because it’s been on for at least two seasons. I’m not sure I could think about something I would care to watch less than a Jonas brother’s marriage. But that could just be me.

In the end, it seems like all you need to get an E! show is a a bit of fame and a good-looking face. Well, look no further! I estimate we’re only a few thousand followers away. Watch for us on the E! Network!