re-tiring

I'm kinda busy over here. Did I mention we're throwing a surprise retirement party for my mom tommorow? Just family...which means about 70 people.
If anyone has any ideas for good gag gifts for my mom I'd appreciate it. Because we never, ever take anything seriously in my family. There always has to be some kind of gag. We already bought her a cane.
Anyhow, won't be around much between now and tomorrow evening as we've got a lot to do before the party, but I will make it a point to get the poll up for the best movies of the 90's vote tommorow morning. Go make your nominations, because I don't want to hear any bitching when the final list is announced.

Comments

Really says it all about the double lives of bloggers that you can tell thousands of readers in a public forum that you are throwing your mom a surprise party, secure in the knowledge that she'll never know what you write here.

I'd peruse the nearby alleyways for a "suitable" easy chair. If you live near a college, there should be plenty to choose from. Just be sure to evict the kittens before handling.

And remember: presentation is the key! Put it in your front room, keep it under a sheet (one that odors can't get through), and make her think you got her something really special. And be sure to keep a camera ready for the unveiling.

One year I got a wooden preschool puzzle with a clock in the middle, I didn't take the wrapper off so the pieces would stay together. Then with sticky mailing labels everyone renamed the activities to reflect the life of leisure the retiree was going to have to keep track of. It was a big success.

How about a package of Depends? And a bottle of Centrum Silver vitamins? Some Metamucil fiber supplement? a magnifing glass, Polident denture fixative? Hearing aid batterys. I could probably go on and on......

My family used to have a really big red pair of undershorts (clean ones), 60" plus waist, that was passed around, suitably wrapped, every Christmas.
Of course, if your mother has a weight problem, that might not work.