States of Stupidity

I wasn't previously aware of it, but apparently, there's a big contest going on to see which of the United(?) States is the stupidest fucking one we have, and then they've agreed to crop-dust it with painkillers, pop music, booze, bombs, sterilizing agents and lethal radiation. Not really, but I wish that sometimes.

ILLINOIS: Illinois got their entry in early, when a Catholic Bishop (not one of those firebrand MethoBaptiChrister fucks) said that President Obama was waging a cultural war on religion, and that Catholic Masses could go the way of the dinosaur under his administration, comparing him to Hitler and Stalin, a comparison that one thinks would probably have upset Hitler and Stalin. This entry is under review, of course, due to the automatic review process started with any evocation of Godwin's Law. (His language about Christians huddling and hiding solely in the confines of their churches gave me a funny little tingle, though.)

ARIZONA: Arizona's entry came in last week, when its lawmakers decided that life begins two weeks before conception, or roughly when married couples with kids start making plans to spend time together alone with the barest possibility of sex. The idea here, of course, is to limit a woman's right to an abortion even further, where soon only women who aren't pregnant will be able to get them. The determinant is an impossible to accomplish overreaction to a perceived problem - just like all other recent Arizona legislation.

OKLAHOMA:Republican Congressman James Lankford recently told a reporter that not only does he still believe homosexuality is a choice, but that if one makes that choice, one ought to be fired from one's job, which is going to be awesome when they catch him with an officeful of rent boys. Seems to me, though, the worst thing about being gay is that it makes straight people fucking stupid. Since Obama's support of gay marriage from last week, there's just been a slew of outright ignorance and stupidity flying around, and sometimes, you hear someone like Lankford, who, as an elected official, enters his state in the contest with his comments.

TENNESSEE: Flying high on the strength of the ongoing efforts by the Mosqueteers, Tennessee's governor Bill HasBeen decided to essentially outlaw "gateway sexual activity" in an effort to reduce teen pregnancies. Presumably, this would cover hugging, kissing, touching, necking, fondling, touching, dry humping, over clothing handjobs and rubbing, touching, and lots of kinds of sitting and dancing. I got news for you, Bill: You REALLY want to see a jump in teen sexual activity? Take away all of the stuff on this list. Tell people they can't do it, and watch frustration levels climb until people are just like, "Fuck it, let's fuck. That's not illegal." Yet.

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States of Stupidity

I wasn't previously aware of it, but apparently, there's a big contest going on to see which of the United(?) States is the stupidest fucking one we have, and then they've agreed to crop-dust it with painkillers, pop music, booze, bombs, sterilizing agents and lethal radiation. Not really, but I wish that sometimes.

ILLINOIS: Illinois got their entry in early, when a Catholic Bishop (not one of those firebrand MethoBaptiChrister fucks) said that President Obama was waging a cultural war on religion, and that Catholic Masses could go the way of the dinosaur under his administration, comparing him to Hitler and Stalin, a comparison that one thinks would probably have upset Hitler and Stalin. This entry is under review, of course, due to the automatic review process started with any evocation of Godwin's Law. (His language about Christians huddling and hiding solely in the confines of their churches gave me a funny little tingle, though.)

ARIZONA: Arizona's entry came in last week, when its lawmakers decided that life begins two weeks before conception, or roughly when married couples with kids start making plans to spend time together alone with the barest possibility of sex. The idea here, of course, is to limit a woman's right to an abortion even further, where soon only women who aren't pregnant will be able to get them. The determinant is an impossible to accomplish overreaction to a perceived problem - just like all other recent Arizona legislation.

OKLAHOMA:Republican Congressman James Lankford recently told a reporter that not only does he still believe homosexuality is a choice, but that if one makes that choice, one ought to be fired from one's job, which is going to be awesome when they catch him with an officeful of rent boys. Seems to me, though, the worst thing about being gay is that it makes straight people fucking stupid. Since Obama's support of gay marriage from last week, there's just been a slew of outright ignorance and stupidity flying around, and sometimes, you hear someone like Lankford, who, as an elected official, enters his state in the contest with his comments.

TENNESSEE: Flying high on the strength of the ongoing efforts by the Mosqueteers, Tennessee's governor Bill HasBeen decided to essentially outlaw "gateway sexual activity" in an effort to reduce teen pregnancies. Presumably, this would cover hugging, kissing, touching, necking, fondling, touching, dry humping, over clothing handjobs and rubbing, touching, and lots of kinds of sitting and dancing. I got news for you, Bill: You REALLY want to see a jump in teen sexual activity? Take away all of the stuff on this list. Tell people they can't do it, and watch frustration levels climb until people are just like, "Fuck it, let's fuck. That's not illegal." Yet.