Author
Topic: As of tonight... (Read 9694 times)

Sea kayaking for 30-odd years and basically just got ninja fucking good at staying up. I can rescue, be rescued and rescue myself, also like a ninja but still ,there's always been that inconvenience factor which, on account of the awesome staying up skills aforementioned, has never really happened, to me at least. I've pulled a fair few dudes out the water in all sorts of shit but I've never been upside down myself when I wasn't fucking around.

There have, however, been occasions where I might not have had time to be rescued. I might have died. I kinda liked it. Just a guilty little bit. It was my skills on the line. Me v's the Atlantic - tame it or die. Fucker has teeth. Way out, where the tide and the swell and the wind kick up all fucked seven ways from hell. I've seen depth charges going off in the water, a couple of meters in from where I was fighting off ten footers coming in from the night before. They're called clapotis - wave coming in, smacks off the cliff, shoots up fifteen feet in the air then comes crashing back down with a massive splodey.

Next thing the wave bounces back out the way it came. The reflection. Shoots back out at pretty much the same size and lick that it came in and then smashes into the next big wave coming in. WHOOOSH! Srsly. Like in the comics. Get caught in that crap and who knows where you'll land. If it's not inside your boat, the right way up, real fucking soon, the next breaker is going to grind your shit against those rocks with an approximate pressure of - who the fuck knows - couple of tons prolly. Thing is your going to get pounded and you don't got a helmet on account of helmets are for pussies.

Thing is, now I got teh roll down I can head out looking for bigger, badder, more dangerous...

Logged

Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCKAwful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart ContagionOctomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairmanwalking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy"And National Geographic got interested because National Geographic has the theory that the last century, discovery was basically finding things, and in this century, discovery is basically making things."-- Stewart Brand

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Sweet. Eskimo roll is all you need, so you don't have to swim back to shore and empty your Kayak after every spill. It's also handy on rivers, for avoiding angry swans trying to peck you to death for daring to drift through their personal fucking weirpools.

Logged

"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel

Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCKAwful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart ContagionOctomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairmanwalking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy"And National Geographic got interested because National Geographic has the theory that the last century, discovery was basically finding things, and in this century, discovery is basically making things."-- Stewart Brand

Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCKAwful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart ContagionOctomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairmanwalking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy"And National Geographic got interested because National Geographic has the theory that the last century, discovery was basically finding things, and in this century, discovery is basically making things."-- Stewart Brand

That's the rest of my group. Check out the slo-mo on this clip from about 7:40 onwards

Logged

Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCKAwful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart ContagionOctomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairmanwalking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy"And National Geographic got interested because National Geographic has the theory that the last century, discovery was basically finding things, and in this century, discovery is basically making things."-- Stewart Brand

It's a bunch of leaves and shit that have fallen off the tree, floating on the surface. For some reason the little waves make them all clump together like that.

Logged

Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCKAwful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart ContagionOctomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairmanwalking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy"And National Geographic got interested because National Geographic has the theory that the last century, discovery was basically finding things, and in this century, discovery is basically making things."-- Stewart Brand