"Glee" on Fox. They're doing a "Born This Way" episode tonight because 1. Of course they are and 2. it's 90 minutes because they're not allowed to do a "Fucking Perfect" episode to follow up on network TV. I'm not against the movement that people shouldn't be discriminated against based on sex, ethnicity, sexuality, or any other of those things people can't change about themselves but I was born screaming, illiterate, incontinent, without any language comprehension ability, and every time I hear "Born This Way" I tend to think "Well, THAT'S no excuse" which makes me feel like I'm an ass. But really, I just don't like the semantics of it. Also, you can like yourself a whole lot without thinking you're perfect. Not an either/or situation. Clearly I need to stop taking pop music so literally.

"One Tree Hill" on The CW

"Black in Latin America" on PBS

"NBA Playoffs: Indiana at Chicago" on TNT

8:30pm: "MTV's Top 10 Most Outrageous Sex Myths" on MTV. Featuring four girls who have been featured on "Teen Mom," the least douchey guy from "Jersey Shore," three pop stars, "and more." I mean, I'm sure MTV has their heart in the right place, but none of these people scream 'qualified to give medically accurate sex advice' to me.

9:00pm: "Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern" on Travel

"Braxton Family Values" on WE

"Dancing With the Stars" on ABC

"Deadliest Catch" on Discovery

"Hardcore Pawn" on TruTV

"Have Cake Will Travel" on Food Network

"Hellcats" on The CW

"The Voice" on NBC. Series premiere. Oh, good, another amateur singing competition.

10:00pm: "16 and Pregnant" on MTV

"Addicted to Food" on OWN

"NHL Playoffs: Chicago at Vancouver" on CBC

"Chopped" on Food Network

"Hogs Gone Wild" on Discovery

"Independent Lens: Marwencol" on PBS

"Marcel's Quantum Kitchen" on SyFy. First season finale.

"Pregnant in Heels" on Bravo

"Top Shot" on History. Second season finale.

"What the Sell?!" on TLC

Body of Proof" on ABC. Starting a minute late because of the dancing show.

10:30pm: "NBA Playoffs: New Orleans at LA Lakers" on TNT

Late Night Listings

"The Late Show with David Letterman" on CBS featuring Will Ferrell and the Twilight Singers

"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" on NBC featuring Lindsay Lohan, Jillian Michaels, and the Airborne Toxic Event. Wait, didn't Ms.Lohan recently go back to jail? I'm so confused.