Or not. I can't remember the last time England were 3-0 down and everyone was so goddarn mellow about it. We are all still high on the Ashes victory, it's true, but there's more to it than that. English cricket fans have become like the disciples in Fight Club, unquestioningly following everything their leader says and does. In Andy We Trust. WWAD?

Sure, England have played some scruffy cricket in this series. Yet since Andy Flower made them a three-dimensional team in the autumn of 2009, capable of competing in all forms of the game at the same time, they have always come back strongly and always justified Andrew Strauss's mantra. One of these days, when you type 'don't panic' into Google, the first link will not be to Coldplay, or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but to the England captain reflecting on defeat.

He has a point, though, and England certainly should not panic at the moment. Even if they lose this series 6-1, which is conceivable now that the tortoise has got away from them, we know that they will be fine for the World Cup and that, while they might not win it, they won't stink the place out as they did in 1996, 1999 and 2007.

We're in Adelaide*. It's Australia Day. That brings to mind only one thing: bloody Walkabout in Shepherd's Bush the fourth Test of 1992-93. If you don't know the story, set aside the next 10 minutes and press play. If you know the story, set aside the next 10 minutes and etc.

Australia began the fourth day, January 26, chasing 186 to become the first team to beat the West Indies in a Test series since 1979-80. What followed was no less than epic. (And, in the case of Curtly Ambrose's snorter to dismiss Allan Border for 1, comically emphatic.)

* By this, I obviously mean the game is in Adelaide. I'm sat in an airless basement in Kings Cross, wondering where the next bit of human contact is coming from.

Song for 2.51am on a Wednesday. Who knew a Big Star cover could be the loveliest song of 2010?

England have won the toss, again, and will bat first. They make two changes, with Kevin Pietersen and Jimmy Anderson replacing Luke Wright and Chris Woakes. That means a change of shape, with Paul Collingwood at No7. That suggests England see these games as a lot more than just World Cup preparation, because picking seven batsmen and three-and-a-half bowlers is surely not an option on the subcontinent. "We think it's the right side to win this game," says Andrew Strauss.

Any Australians out there? Any plans for Australia Day? What does it usually entail? Over here, St George's Day invariably means an excess of drinking, fighting and xenophobia – just another weekday really – but maybe you foreign weirdos do things differently. I've heard talk of dignity, moderation and all sorts.

Detailed pitch report Flat deck, gorgeous day. 300 please!

1st over: England 12-0 (Strauss 3, Prior 4) Brett Lee, who apparently bowled beautifully the other day (no, I didn't drag myself out of bed at 3am on Sunday), charges in to bowl the first ball – and swings it down the leg side for five wides. Strauss tucks the second legitimate delivery off his pads for two. The sun is so bright that it's hard to see the ball off the pitch, so as soon as it leaves Brett Lee's hand you don't really know what's happened until it flies off the bat/into middle stump. Anyway, Strauss cuts a single and that puts Prior on strike. He's on a hat-trick of ducks, but he times his first delivery off the pads for four and then charges down the pitch, punching the air in delight before whipping off his shirt to reveal a Nike vest that says "4 not out; Just Done It". Twelve from the over. "Amazing what happened to Andy Gray for channeling his inner Gene Hunt," says Marie Meyer. "I find him annoying and won't miss him one bit. So keep in mind – for the next eight hours you are Bolly, not the Guv." It's okay, we're talking cricket now, and cricket has never done sexism. A-hem.

2nd over: England 19-0 (Strauss 4, Prior 10) Doug Bollinger's first ball to Prior is a beauty that swings back and beats the outside edge as Prior gets his bat tangled up with his pad. That aside, the over is again full of runs, with Prior swishing a boundary through extra-cover. The ball is swinging a bit, but the pitch is a belter and early impressions are that 300 is not so much par as the bare minimum. "That match you linked to," begins James Wrout. "That was a great day's play, and I particularly liked the bit where the commentator said 'and that's a pair for Ian Healy'. I hope that doesn"t make me a nasty person. Boon, Taylor, Border, Warne, Hughes - what a great mass of men that was." Do me a favour, loverboy. Actually you're right, that was one of the more masculine teams, even if they weren't fit to trim the 'taches of the 1970s boys. I remember following that match on Teletext before school. And to think some people say life in a small town in the 1990s was depressing!

WICKET! England 23-1 (Strauss c Haddin b Lee 8) Andrew Strauss proves that a strength can be a weakness. When Brett Lee dropped short, Strauss went for his favourite cut shot but top-edged it through to Brad Haddin. So Lee strikes early once again, and here's Jonathan Trott.

3rd over: England 25-1 (Prior 10, Trott 2) Three overs, 25 runs, one wicket. With a start like that, who needs dodgy coffee to keep them awake? "How delightful of you to remind us of a previous day in Adelaide – and how beautifully Bull did sum that day up. Anyway, new day new play as they say (do they?) and I'm here courtesy of the swine flu! Yes, that's why I've been so ill and now I have the inevitable 'complications' which in my case means a nasty chest infection, but who cares? I'm signed off work for a week and my mother's response to my illness was 'Oh how fashionable of you to have swine flu – I gather it's all the rage' – well she is over 80." Oof, that's horrid. The very best to you, Clare, from me and both the other readers.

4th over: England 26-1 (Prior 11, Trott 2) A good over from Bollinger costs just a single. In other news, the female OBOers are dropping like flies. "Can you please wish my sister a speedy recovery?" says Neill Brown. "She's currently in hospital with blood clots in her legs and lungs, bored out of her mind and in a fair amount of pain. I know she loves, and has always loved, Ian Bell, so let's hope he scores a century to cheer her up." Yep, the very best also to Melanie, and particularly to those who have to share a ward with her.

5th over: England 32-1 (Prior 16, Trott 3) It's important that Prior continues to play his shots here – particularly because Trott will bat in his bubble at the other end. Prior is as selfless as they come in Test cricket, yet it's not so easy to bat the same way when you are also playing for your place. Both batsmen take a single and then, after digging out a 94mph yorker, Prior crunches the last delivery through extra cover for four. "For me our national day means sitting in the office hoping we get out early, though as it's 90% humidity and high 20s outside, I don't mind missing the worst of it," says Mark White. "There's a big music festival in Sydney, which will be attended by 17-year-old bogans wrapped in the flag and drinking as if it's going out of fashion, which being Australia it never will. Later, I shall go to a barbie, and have a beer. Or two. And watch another Aussie win." I'd never heard the word 'bogan' until recently – or at least was never conscious of it – and now I hear it about 47 times a day. Simple person that I am, it still freaks me how words can do that.

6th over: England 33-1 (Prior 16, Trott 4) A nice line from Sir Beefy, who says that when Trott goes out to bat he "goes into his own greenhouse". It's his main strength in Test cricket, although we're still not sure whether it's a strength or a weakness in the shorter form of the game. I suspect the latter, Andy Flower suspects the former. So that settles that debate. That said, Trott takes just a single from that Bollinger over – so he has four from 10 balls and England have scored just seven from the last three overs. "Couldn't agree more about the Kendal Johansson song," says Oliver Pattenden. "One of my favourites of 2010. Actually, going back four years or so now, has Sincerely Yours not been the most consistently excellent label? Sure, it releases very little material, but almost everything is superb. Even the odd one-off Big Star cover..." I am rubbish with labels. I only remember Dead Dead Good. What else has been released on Sincerely Yours?

7th over: England 39-1 (Prior 17, Trott 9) The underrated Shane Watson replaces Brett Lee. Two contrasting blondes: one is 34 and bowls like a 24-year-old, the other is 29 and bowls with the enthusiasm of a 39-year-old. His first five cost just two, but then Trott flicks a much-needed boundary through square leg. "Just like the day of St George there is a national requirement to over indulge," says Phil Withall. "Cheap plastic flags fly from every car, the Australian flag is turned into every imaginable piece of clothing (thongs anyone?) . Pre-mixed 'Bundy' and coke is consumed with reckless abandon. And as the the sun sets patriotic violence breaks out across the nation's carparks. It's rather moving really. One other thought: is Collingwood the first man to be picked as a specialist fielder?" Have you not seen poor old Luke Wright's recent performances? Actually, Collingwood will be an important bowler here; he might even bowl a full stint.

8th over: England 53-1 (Prior 26, Trott 13) Just the 14 from Bollinger's over. That's all. It starts with consecutive boundaries through extra cover from Prior, the first swiped on the charge and the second driven sweetly. Trott then times the fourth ball down the ground for another boundary. That's excellent batting. "Down where I live on Victoria's surf coast, it is everyone's day at the beach," says Tim Barry. "It a good day today, bit of a cool breeze, but that's good as the really hot days otherwise end with red, drunk flag-wearing bogans punching on at the end of the day. For most people it's about a family/friends get together, barbie and maybe a spot of backyard/beach cricket. It's good having a public holiday midweek; screws productivity for the whole week though." Bogans again! That word will in the Queen's speech next.

9th over: England 62-1 (Prior 27, Trott 22) Trott makes it five boundaries in eight balls when he flicks the first ball of Watson's over to fine leg. He could play that shot in his sleep, with his hands tied behind his back, and while being distracted by a particularly compelling denouement to an episode of Deal or No Deal. Nine from the over.

10th over: England 65-1 (Prior 29, Trott 23) Big John Hastings, to give him his full name, replaces Doug Bollinger. The fourth ball is a total shambles. Trott drops it towards Haddin and ballwatches even after Prior has called him through. Trott is only halfway down the pitch when Haddin's throw towards the bowler's end hits him on the back of the leg. Just three from the over. In other news, I hate Lynn Bashforth. Not because she's a woman, but because of this here email. "Sorry for having to point out that I am following the cricket from a terrace ten metres from the Indian Ocean, the sun is shining and the waves are lapping. Andy Murray is on the TV since the only cricket I can find is inexplicably a rerun of an old ODI between India and England. Andrew Caddick is bowling. Is Matt Prior finally going to have a decent knock? I do hope so, because the Andys picked him for the World Cup and so it must be ok. Chin up over there. Maybe Bull will bring you coffee and Monster Munches soon?" He's not in. Nobody's in. It's just me and the shivers and the memories and the little coffee sachets that don't taste anywhere near as good as they should. (Murray is 4-2 up in the first set by the way.)

11th over: England 71-1 (Prior 32, Trott 26) Michael Clarke takes the bowling powerplay at the first opportunity. Prior works a couple past short fine leg. That takes Prior into the 30s,which, in his career as a one-day opener, means danger. Six from the over, none in boundaries. "Stinking hot in Sydney today!" says Kate, another woman I now hate. It's not misogyny, your honour, just weather envy. "Watching the cricket on channel 9, Andy Murray on channel 7 and the OBO on the laptop! Come on England! After waving the flag in the office after the Ashes win I'm now getting a lot of stick over the one-day series. We need a win!"

12th over: England 74-1 (Prior 34, Trott 27) Prior pushes Big John Hastings into the ground and then back over his own stumps. A single next ball brings up a good fifty partnership from 51 balls. Only three from the over, though, and Hastings is doing a decent containing job with his ostensibly harmless medium-pacers. Murray is back to 4-4 against Dolgopolov by the way. Do you care? Do you want tennis updates? The first email to say 'YES PLEASE' or 'NO, SHUT UP' will act as the casting vote. "Sincerely Yours is the label operated by The Tough Alliance, Swedish Neo-Saint Etienne, post-modern electro pop," says Oliver Pattenden. "They put out the brilliant Air France EPs, and the wonderful first j.j. record, whose recent eclectic and anachronistic mixtape is available for free download via the SY website." Ah, thanks. The j.j. record is indeed wonderful. I'll have a listen tomorrow. Actually, I won't have a listen, I'll just listen. This have a think/listen stuff gets on my nerves ever so slightly, not least because I'm a regular offender. Oh, me.

13th over: England 82-1 (Prior 41, Trott 28) Brett Lee is brought back, an interesting and unexpected move. Prior charges his first ball and blazes it over the off side for four. That's the only boundary in an over that brings eight runs. Prior is going really well and has 41 from 34 balls. "I'm up horrendously early just because it's a well known fact that everytime I get an e mail published in the first fifteen overs of the match, England go on to a resounding vicrory!" says Finbar Ainslow. "No, seriously, isn't it an indication of how strong English cricket is that they can win the Ashes without a single member of last season's most succesful county in the side." I know what you mean, but take a look at the 1994-95 Ashes squad, the winter after Warwickshire came within a coin toss of the quadruple.

14th over: England 89-1 (Prior 46, Trott 30) That's another fine shot from Prior, who gets just enough width from Hastings and flashes a cut over backward point for four. "In light of the Gray/Keys mess," says Paul Szabo, "this football fan is curious to know whether there are women umpires working in the various levels of men's cricket, such as this one." In cricket? Good one. Actually, does anyone know the highest level at which a female has umpired?

15th over: England 100-1 (Prior 55, Trott 32) Madon, what a farce this is. A total shambles. Utter nonsense. A shemozzle. Trott tried to whip Lee to leg, and the ball deflected off his thigh pad and back onto the stumps without dislodging the bails. By then Prior was off and running, but Trott was late to respond once again and then engaged in a comic impromptu dance with Lee as they tried to get round each other – Lee to get to the ball, Trott to get to the other end. Trott angled his run to try to block the throw, so Lee had to go wide of him and his slightly wide throw went through Clarke at the non-striker's end with Trott miles short of his ground. A fiasco from start to finish. Clarke has words with the umpire as to whether Trott was obstructing the field, but I'm sure that was legit. That's not the end of the fun. The next ball is short and hoicked mightily over midwicket for Prior to take him to fifty from 39 balls. It's only his third in 58 ODIs, and he has played excellently.

16th over: England 101-1 (Prior 55, Trott 33) Xavier Doherty is on for John Hastings, and rattles through his first over for just a single. "Do you think the muted response to this string of defeats has a fair bit to do with the sides we've been putting out?" says Jamie Jermain. "It feels a bit like we've just won the FA cup and we're resting players ready for the Champions League final. In the meantime we have to get past an annoying two-legged tie against Bristol City in the Carling Cup." There's an element of that, but we shouldn't forget that Australia have had injuries to Ponting, Hussey the Elder, Johnson, Tait and Hauritz.

17th over: England 109-1 (Prior 56, Trott 35) Giant Hastings has switched ends, and his second delivery slips down the leg side for five wides. Three singles make it a decent over for England. "Funnily enough, as an ex-pat in New York, I get constantly ridiculed for saying 'have a think', etc," says Oliver Pattenden. "They don't do it at all over here, and it's viewed as some silly, archaic, quaint little Englishism. Appealingly charming, yet obtusely of another world. I'm basically looked upon as The King's Speech every time I do it." If only Sting has written his masterpiece 23 years later, he could have moulded this little social problem into his lyrics. Mind you, the lyrics are perfect as they are.

18th over: England 113-1 (Prior 57, Trott 38) Trott thumps Doherty through extra cover and Lee turns four into two with a graceful slide on the boundary. "According to an India company (Impact Index) these are the top 10 one day players of all time," begins Phil Withall. "Richards, Imran, Hadlee, Gilchrist, Botham, Cronje, Flintoff, Kallis, Kapil Dev, Hooper. Shane Watson is the only player in todays match in the top 25 at 16th. Not sure Freddie should be at 7 but there you go. Apparently it's all very scientific. Any thoughts?" One pretty big thought springs to mind: Joel Garner. Then there's Michael Bevan, Sachin Tendulkar, Dean Jones, Murali and Lance Klusener not to mention Arvind Kandappah and Kim Barnett...

19th over: England 116-1 (Prior 58, Trott 40) Boring Middle Overs time. Three from Hastings' over, and he's doing a decent job. Figures of 5-0-24-0 might look ordinary, but in the context of a match that might produce over 600 runs they are pretty impressive.

20th over: England 123-1 (Prior 60, Trott 44) Seven from Doherty's over, all in ones and twos. One thing Trott is good at is rotating the strike. I'd imagine his dot-ball ratio is pretty low. Although so is his boundary ratio. He has three from 58 balls today; Prior has eight from 52. "I'm in Australia, and I'm bloody working while they all get hammered," says Martin, who as you've probably guessed is English. "Judging from the carnage in local cafes/bars as I walked out of my office to get some lunch, Australia Day is a fairly messy occasion."

21st over: England 132-1 (Prior 65, Trott 48) Here comes Steven Smith. Who will fall to his unplayable long hop today? It was almost Matt Prior, who cut the second ball not far wide of the man at deep point and away for four. Nine from the over. England really should get at least 300 here. Should. "Excuse my traitorous behaviour but I tried to put the tennis on as well, which does slow the streams down drastically," says Adam Hirst. "I found a woman's match rather than Murray and closed it down. Does this make me sexist? Or just stupid? It was the Murray match, I guess I didn't realise that Dolgopolov looked like a female tennis player. Do me a favour love." Murray is a set and a break up by the way.

22nd over: England 136-1 (Prior 66, Trott 49) Trott pushes Doherty into the off side for a single to reach yet another fifty, from 64 balls.

WICKET! England 136-2 (Prior c Doherty Smith 67) I don't believe it. Steven Smith has struck with the long hop, which Prior cut straight to point. "He's the king of the long hops," says Ian Botham, who knows a thing or two about golden arms. That's amazing. It was a disgusting delivery. Prior goes for a superb 58-ball 67, and Kevin Pietersen enters the Doherty/Smith buffet.

23rd over: England 139-2 (Trott 51, Pietersen 2) "England winning the Ashes three out of four times since 2005 makes you wonder about the generation of cricketers that arrived too late to win in 1986 and left before the glory years started. England's InterAshes martyrs. They had the curse of playing when Australia was dominant. Which of these would have made it into the current team, or more fairly, the best composite 2005/2011 team. Looking at this I'd say Robin Smith, Mike Atherton, Alec Stewart, Nasser Hussain and esp. Graham Thorpe, have a case, but no bowlers." I'd have Gough, as England's best all-weather bowler of the last 25 years, but that's probably it. I suppose if you picked a best England side of the last 25 years it would be different to adding the odd player to the 2005-11 sides, because with the former you're not taking into account Ashes form. One thing that interests me in this debate is Stewart v Prior. All logic says Stewart, but look at their Test averages as keeper: Prior 42.96, Stewart 34.92.

24th over: England 147-2 (Trott 52, Pietersen 9) You can't see Kevin Pietersen licking his lips like a madman, but if he could pick a fantasy scenario it might involve facing Xavier Doherty and Steve Smith on an Adelaide shirtfront. He advances to Doherty's fourth ball and lifts it imperiously over mid-on for a one-bounce four. That's the only boundary of an over that brings eight runs.

25th over: England 151-2 (Trott 55, Pietersen 10) Let nobody say Steve Smith has no variety in his bowling. Having struck with the long hop in the previous over, he now sends down a full toss. Trott fails to take advantage, and looks down at the wicket in disgust. I like Smith's ticker, and I reckon he'll make it eventually, but dear me he bowls some filth. He only conceded four from that over, though, so I don't know what we're laughing at. "The unplayable Steve Smith long hop: would you smash it, Rob?" says Paddy Murphy. "Mind you, that's a stupid question. If you were anywhere near it, you'd definitely smash it."

26th over: England 156-2 (Trott 58, Pietersen 12) Five from Doherty's over, all in ones and twos. England are scoring at precisely a run a ball.

WICKET! England 158-4 (Bell c Haddin b Smith 0) And it just got even more ridiculous, because Bell has gone second ball for nought. This was actually a nice piece of bowling from Smith. Bell came down the track, was done in the flight and tried to adjust his shot and glide the ball to third man. Instead he dabbed it straight into the gloves of Brad Haddin.

28th over: England 159-4 (Trott 60, Morgan 0) One from Doherty's over. Death by Smith and Doherty. You couldn't script it. England are choking on the buffet. "Needing a bit of extra multi-tasking in these middle overs, Rob, I just turned on the telly and Adam does have a point about Dolgo-whatsit," says Clare Davies. "He isn't that easily mistaken for a tennis playing woman, but he is wearing a sort of Beckhamesqe Alice band and has a pony tail. Mind you, one squizz at the legs and you can see, he's no lady!" It's hairylegism like that that's holding society back.

29th over: England 165-4 (Trott 64, Morgan 2) Six from the over in ones and twos. Doesn't change the fact that Steve Smith's wicket column has '3' in it, though.

30th over: England 169-4 (Trott 65, Morgan 5) "Can we talk about I-Ron?" says Ian Bell. "I know he transports you to a higher plane. But as for me, a more pedestrian type - meh. He is, once again, inviting the comment that he doesn't make a big score unless someone else on the side has already done so. I have followed England's tour of Australia on four different broadcasters so far; on each one Bell is described over and over again as 'the in-form man'. I just don't get it. I put it to you that he batted really well in the tour match in Hobart before the Ashes, and hasn't done much since. Something only I have noticed. (It is that last bit that makes me a bit uncertain of the ground I stand on.)" He was in sublime touch throughout the Ashes, I thought, but there's certainly an issue over his one-day form. The ODI Bell might be the reverse of the Test Bell, in that in ODIs he shouldn't bat below No3. Anyway, that's for another time. I'm on Eoinwatch now. He tries to reverse sweep Doherty's first ball but rams it straight into the ground. Then he plays 12 different shots at the same delivery before eventually lapping it for two. Not much else happens. I still can't take my eyes off Steve Smith's wicket column.

31st over: England 174-4 (Trott 68, Morgan 7) Brett Lee's back, an interesting move because he's been the most expensive bowler today. The plan, as Nasser and Bumble point out on Sky, is to see if he gets any reverse swing before the ball is changed after 34 years. He does indeed, with one yorker to Trott curving a fair way. There's a lesson for England in terms of how they use Ajmal Shahzad. Five from the over.

32nd over: England 179-4 (Trott 71, Morgan 9) Five from Doherty's over, all in singles. This is a fine stat from the chaps on Sky: Dennis Amiss is the only player from any country to have scored more runs in his first 15 ODIs than Jonathan Trott. And he's not even sure of his place! This is Trott's 15th ODI, and he has 674 runs at an average of 56.16. (Sceptics will point out a strike rate of 72.78, mind.)

33rd over: England 187-4 (Trott 77, Morgan 11) Brett Lee is replaced by the naff nemesis, Steve Smith. Trott takes his life in his hands by playing an attacking shot at a bad delivery. Doesn't he know who he's dealing with? He slog-sweeps not into the hands of midwicket, as we might have expected, but over the top for four. Eight from the over.

34th over: England 192-4 (Trott 80, Morgan 13) Five more singles from Doherty's over, so he ends with decent figures of 10-0-44-0. Crucially, he conceded just one boundary.

35th over: England 194-4 (Trott 81, Morgan 14) Doug Bollinger comes back after the mandatory ball change, and his first over back is excellent. It includes four consecutive dot balls to Morgan, the third of which bounces past the outside edge. "So what is OBO etiquette if somebody mentions my name?" says Adam Hirst. "Do I have to say hello to Claire now? Ok. I couldn't see Dolgo's legs, just his odd horse-tail/alice-band combo. We all know that women don't belong in sport these days so I had to turn it off in solidarity with The Sky Two." I suppose spelling her name correctly would be a start...

37th over: England 208-4 (Trott 91, Morgan 18) A lucky escape for Morgan, who is beaten for pace and mishooks Bollinger just wide of the man running round from midwicket. Six from the over, all in singles. For England, that pesky batting Powerplay is looming. I would hold fire until the 40th over at least. "I am out here," says Ian Copestake. "I feared England might switch off (whether they wished to or not) in this series as the World Cup is the proper motivator. I don't blame them at all and expect this will have no bearing at all on how they fare in the big cup." It's the fourth England/Australia ODI series in a row that has gone against the Ashes result. That can't be coincidence.

38th over: England 221-4 (Trott 100, Morgan 22) Trott whips a short ball from Hastings through square leg for four, a classy stroke that takes him to 97. He pulls two and then flicks a single to reach a fine century from 117 balls. It's his second in one-day internationals, and he has paced it expertly. Morgan completes an expensive over by hooking to fine leg for his first boundary. "I'm here, Rob, sweating in an uncomfortably steamy Sydney," says Douglas Wilson. "I would have written earlier, but my affection for Steve Smith made me too shy to participate."

39th over: England 224-4 (Trott 102, Morgan 23) That's another good over from Bollinger, costing only three. "Is the tennis getting interesting at all?" says Oliver Pattenden. "I can't remember if we agreed to talk about it or not." Nobody emailed in. Thanks both! Murray is two sets up and serving at 5-6 in the third. It's 15-30 and he's got the face on.

WICKET! England 224-5 (Trott b D Hussey 102) Larry David couldn't have scripted this England innings any better. Australia bring on another mediocre spinner, David Hussey this time, and he strikes with his fourth ball. Trott tried to crack a full delivery through the covers, but it turned enough to take the inside edge and deflect onto the stumps.

40th over: England 225-5 (Morgan 23, Collingwood 1) One from David Hussey's over, and a wicket. I don't want to talk about it.

41st over: England 227-5 (Morgan 24, Collingwood 2) Steve Smith is back on. If he dismisses Morgan I'm out the door and to hell with career prospects. He doesn't, but he does hurry through an over for only two runs. England have made a mess of this. "I am sure I am not the only one who has thought this, but I am becoming convinced that the ubiquitous Gary Naylor is a mythical being summoned by MBM and OBO journalists," says Jeremy Broad. "Attributing self-penned e-mails to him in order to stimulate debate, or maybe just not to feel so alone. It's the cyber equivalent of whistling to yourself when scared or praying. I'm sure if I were to do a search I could find examples of Mr Naylor commenting on simultaneous MBMs." Which, if you think about it, is not exactly beyond the wit of man, or even Gary Naylor. He's real. I've met him. We've laughed and cried and discussed whether Gary Keedy should have had a chance with England.a

WICKET! England 227-6 (Morgan c Lee b D Hussey 24) This is no longer funny. It's twisted. Sick. BAN WHOEVER SCRIPTED THIS SICK FARCE. Morgan has just pinged a reverse sweep – A REVERSE SWEEP, HIS BLOODY SHOT – straight to deep point. The only thing keeping me sane is the fact Steve Smith wasn't the bowler. Instead it was that wunderspinner David Hussey, who now has figures of two for one.

42nd over: England 229-6 (Collingwood 3, Yardy 1) David Hussey's figures: 2-0-3-2. "Steve Smith," begins Chris Bowden. "He bowls rubbish but takes wickets off bad balls, his batting style is best described (charitably) as unorthodox, and he even runs awkwardly. That description applies equally to me, yet he plays for Australia and I play the lowest grade of Auckland club cricket. There is hope." Ah, but have you got the all-important ticker?

43rd over: England 235-6 (Collingwood 5, Yardy 5) Two out-of-form batsmen, new to the crease, so now England take the Powerplay. That's comic genius. That's like using a 10% off voucher at Sainsbury's when you've spent £1.24. Brett Lee comes in – I'm surprised Clarke didn't give it to Smith and tell him to bowl double bouncers so that England could middle them to deep midwicket – and concedes only six. Collingwood has 5 from 947 deliveries. Part of me wants to cry. "I'm trying to work out which is sloppier: losing a set to Dolgopolov or five wickets to Smith and Hussey," says Ben Shepherd. "Eff Eff Ess." Yep, Murray lost the third set on a tie break, but he's now a break up in the fourth.

44th over: England 243-6 (Collingwood 8, Yardy 9) Hussey retires with figures of 2-0-3-2. He'll be dining out on those for a while. Bollinger comes on in his place. Yardy, who has started purposefully, waits for a slower bouncer and lifts it over the cordon for four. "ABC radio's youth station JJJ has a Hottest 100 vote every Australia day," says Phil Withall. "These are supposed to be the best songs of the last year. Imagine my surprise to see Andy Bull (featuring Lisa Mitchell) at number 68 with Dog. Is there nothing the man can't turn his hand to?" He's hopeless on Polish cricket in the 1930s, but that's about it.

45th over: England 257-6 (Collingwood 15, Yardy 16) Collingwood walks down the track to Lee's first delivery and drags it over midwicket for six – his first six in international cricket since September. "He's back!" says Greg Blewett. Later in the over, Yardy toe-ends consecutive deliveries, the first on the half-volley to Haddin and the second wide of Haddin for four. Fourteen from the over and Lee has figures of 8-0-68-1. "It's so hot here that my mate has put a flannel from the hotel on his head," says Al McCulloch. "I can't work out whether that's worse than a knotted hanky. It might be a tribute to Doug the Rug."

46th over: England 271-6 (Collingwood 19, Yardy 25) Fourteen from Bollinger's over. Yardy is playing very well here, zig-zagging around his crease and hitting the ball in unorthodox areas. And a few orthodox ones: when Bollinger drops his first ball short, Yardy clouts a pull for four. Two balls later he picks up a full toss and heaves it over midwicket for four more. When he then takes a single, Collingwood runs down the track and spanks four more over midwicket, a familiar and encouraging shot. Fourteen from the over and 28 from the last two. Australia may have made a mistake by going back to pace. "Steve Smith to hit a match-winning hundred," says Douglas Wilson. "You wait."

47th over: England 275-6 (Collingwood 20, Yardy 26) Watson replaces Lee and bowls a canny over that costs only four. There was a half shout for LBW against Collingwood, but he was miles down the track and probably outside the line of off stump. Australia reviewed it, more in hope than expectation, and replays showed he was outside the line.

WICKET! England 283-7 (Collingwood c White b D Hussey 27) With the Powerplay completed, Michael Clarke goes back to David Hussey. You know what that means. Collingwood, having slog-swept four earlier in the over, repeats the stroke and this time picks out White at deep midwicket. He made 27 from 27 balls; in a couple of months' time, we might look back on this innings as a turning point. Meanwhile, David Hussey has three wickets in as many overs. He and Smith have combined figures of 10-0-44-6. 10-0-44-6!

48th over: England 283-7 (Yardy 27, Shahzad 0) Earlier in the over Collingwood had become the first Englishman to score 5000 ODI runs. And to think almost everyone apart from Duncan Fletcher, Steve Waugh and – maybe – Paul Collingwood thought he would be stuck on 20 after that horrible debut series in 2001. Good on him.

49th over: England 289-7 (Yardy 29, Shahzad 3) Six from Watson's final over. England aren't going to make 300 here, and they're not going to win the match.

WICKET! England 294-8 (Shahzad c Watson b D Hussey 3) Hussey gets his one for the over when Shahzad clunks a full toss to midwicket. So Smussey now have figures of 7-49. I've wept over less.

50th over: England 299-8 (Yardy 39, Tremlett 0) Yardy takes England to the brink of 300 with a couple of boundaries either side of Shahzad's dismissal. He played a cracking cameo of 39 not out from 27 balls, but England's score is below par. Australia need precisely 300 to win the match, the series and the Grand National. See you in half an hour.

1st over: Australia 3-0 (target: 300; Watson 2, Haddin 1) The returning Jimmy Anderson starts from the Grilled Pom End. It's a good first over, with a hint of outswing, and there are just three singles from it. "Reading Smith described as a long hop bowler with an unconventional batting style who takes wickets by chance reminded me of Botham," says Ben Dunn, "who used to take a lot of wickets with shockingly poor balls." He did indeed, although I reckon that legend is overplayed a wee bit. It'd be harsh to call him unconventional with the bat, mind. He was a classical batsman in many ways, although not when facing Trevor Hohns at Old Trafford in August 1989. I wish that shot was on YouTube. That and 'Gooch st and b Harper' from the 1987 Bicentenary match at Lord's. That would make a cricket geek very, very happy.

2nd over: Australia 7-0 (target: 300; Watson 3, Haddin 4) Ajmal Shahzad rather Chris Tremlett will share the new ball, presumably with swing in mind. He's coming in off a short run, and Haddin inside edges him through midwicket for three. "300 isn't that bad," says Chris Purcell, "especially as we're going to bowl them all out for 180 odd, mark my words, so cheer up." Nurse, the Wisdens!

That's all folksI'm off, I've had enough. Time for the urgent tech work, but it'll take no longer than 15 minutes, it says here. See you then.

5th over: Australia 28-0 (target: 300; Watson 10, Haddin 16) Hello. We're back, and you'll notice that Australia scored at 900 runs per over while we were away. That said, they are still just below the required rate. "It's my birthday today (and yours tomorrow I believe)," says expert stalker Lee Calvert. "Therefore can you please plug my rugby blog bloodandmud.com? I'm aware that this has little to do with the cricket, but that doesn't usually stop you."

WICKET! Australia 32-1 (Haddin c Strauss b Tremlett 20) Chris Tremlett strikes with his fourth ball. It was a slower one, and Haddin popped a drive straight to cover. That's a good wicket for England because Haddin was looking very dangerous.

8th over: Australia 34-2 (target: 300; Watson 10, Clarke 0) Clarke is in hopeless nick, so he has no choice but to play himself in. That means five dot balls in that Tremlett over, and just one run from it. "Botham thinks Tredwell going to the World Cup is 'mind blowing'," says Ben Shepherd. "Taking two spare seamers and no back-up spinner to the sub-continent would be insane. He's got the strategic understanding of a brick. It's no wonder England has to import coaches."

9th over: Australia 39-2 (target: 300; Watson 13, Clarke 3) Clarke gets off the mark from his ninth delivery, slapping a short one from Anderson through the covers for three. It's pretty sedate stuff at the moment. In other news, Maxie Allen has sent a link to an interesting piece written by, er, Maxie Allen. But it's well worth a read if you care about county cricket.

10th over: Australia 45-2 (need 255 from 40 overs; Watson 18, Clarke 4) Watson rolls the wrists to spin Tremlett behind square for two, and then drives a single down the ground. The required rate has crept up to 6.4 per over. Those of you who doubted England are starting to look a little silly, eh? "Some OBOers should lighten up about the dire fare on offer in the current ODI series," says Mark Lytle Hiratsuka. "I'm following along in Tokyo right now while supposedly working for the Japanese state broadcaster on a TV story about Japan's fisheries agency discovering that four companies under its umbrella 'allegedly caught more Alaska pollock than allowed from 2007 through 2009'. Really. Compared to that, scrolling updates about Smith and Hussey rolling over England are like manna, ambrosia and Old Speckled Hen whisked up in a blender with a jigger of rum – wonderful fodder, in other words..."

11th over: Australia 55-2 (target: 300; Watson 27, Clarke 5) Shahzad replaces Anderson (5-1-22-1), and Watson blasts consecutive boundaries over mid on and then mid off, the first with an angled bat and the second with a straight bat. That's lovely batting. "There's been much discussion of the wisdom of programming the ODIs after the Tests but has anyone asked why there needs to be such an enormous gap between each ODI?" says Dave Langlois. "Given that cricketers are capable of playing five days of high-stress Test cricket back to back, why does there have to be up to four or five days' 'rest' between ODIs. That all adds to the fag-end effect."

12th over: Australia 66-2 (target: 300; Watson 34, Clarke 9) Watson picks Tremlett's slower ball and lifts it high over midwicket for a 90-metre six. This bloke is such an impressive player. It's time for someone to start a catchily titled Facebook group for Shane Watson To Get The Credit Wot He Deserves. It's excellent and also selfless batting, because it allows Clarke to build an innings rather than force the issue. When Clarke gets one on the hip, he tickles it fine for his first boundary. Eleven from the over. "Just been at the game today," nernernernerners Chris Dent. "No sign of the Barmy Army and not much atmosphere (apart from the fighting on the hill). Had to leave at the interval as I'm completely grilled red down one side despite sun cream, hat, etc. I reckon we're 30 runs short."

13th over: Australia 72-2 (target: 300; Watson 39, Clarke 10) Paul Collingwood is coming on to bowl in a Powerplay. Where's that eek emoticon? This is certainly a risk from Strauss, but I suppose it was Collingwood or Yardy. Watson has a beastly hoick at the second ball but it beaten by the lack of pace off the pitch. Then, after a couple of singles, he late cuts delightfully for four. He looks in formidable touch. "Surely Strauss should be giving Watson singles and then bringing the field in for Clarke," says Giles Chapman. "He's batting like a nervous tailender so Strauss should treat him like one."

14th over: Australia 79-2 (target: 300; Watson 43, Clarke 13) In fact it's Collingwood and Yardy in the Powerplay. His first over goes for seven, all in low-risk ones and twos. There's a sense that Yardy has been demystified. Not that there was any mystery in the first place, but you know what I mean. "Maybe Botham could multi-sport and step into Gray's vacated seat," says Ben Dunn. "He was a pro-footballer at one point and he must know as much about football as cricket. AC Jimbo and Botham together at last. Mouthwatering."

15th over: Australia 83-2 (target: 300; Watson 45, Clarke 15) Shahzad replaces Collingwood for the last over of this bowling Powerplay. It's a decent one, going for only four. Australia now need 217 from 35 overs.

16th over: Australia 86-2 (target: 300; Watson 48, Clarke 15) Yardy has a biggish shout for LBW against Watson, pushing around his front pad, but it was sliding down leg and there was a big inside edge. That aside, he was plumb. Yardy needs to find a way to take wickets, though. His ODI economy rate is a very acceptable 4.55, but his average is 48.37. Three from the over. "Love the suggestion about treating Clarke like a tailender," says Richard Woods. "I'm sure I remember in 1981 that Graham Yallop had lost it to such an extent that at one point when Australia were something not very much for three, Kim Hughes actually was refusing singles to keep his No5 batsman away from Bob Willis. That's how I want to remember it anyway." Didn't Nasser Hussain give singles to get Steve Waugh on strike in one of the 2002-03 Tests?

WICKET! Australia 87-3 (Clarke b Collingwood 15) Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, if Yardy don't get ya, Colly must. Or something. England's switch to the change bowlers has paid off, with Collingwood cutting one back through the gate to bowl Clarke. That's a fine delivery. Clarke looked in dismal touch again, mind, so that might be a mixed blessing for England.

18th over: Australia 91-3 (target: 300; Watson 51, White 3) Watson cuts Yardy for a single to reach his obligatory half-century, and then White gets off the mark with a disgusting shot, slicing an absurd heave into the wide open space between cover and the sweeper.

19th over: Australia 94-3 (target: 300; Watson 52, White 4) Collingwood jags an off-cutter back into Watson and it strikes bat and pad almost simultaneously. Prior goes up for the LBW, but Collingwood hardly bothers. Marais Erasmus says not. That looked pretty close, mind; replays show it was hitting leg stump and I think it was pad first, although you can't be absolutely certain even on replay. "Couldn't resist emailing on the subject of Shane Watson, just to say 'ha!' to all those people who laughed at me when I wrote an article back in 2002 (part of Wisden's 'The Boy Can Play' series, although of course I can't find it anywhere on the internet now) saying that Watson was going to be a good all-rounder and a future force for Australia," says Catherine Hanley. "I can't tell you how much stick I've had for that piece over the years, but funnily enough nobody has emailed me recently to admit they were wrong ....." Shane Watson a future force? What nonsense, do you get paid for this, why are we letting women write about cricket, etc and so forth. Actually, it's a shame you can't get most of the Wisden.com articles online. I wrote one filthy piece about the history of the rest day that I'd love to have laminated for Bull.

20th over: Australia 100-3 (target: 300; Watson 53, White 7) England might be tempted to bowl these two straight through now, unless they take some serious tap. They are doing okay for now, even though White comes down the track to chip Yardy high over mid on for two. Six from the over, and the required rate has sneaked up to 6.67 per over.

21st over: Australia 101-3 (target: 300; Watson 54, White 7) This is terrific stuff from Collingwood. He's bowling a remorseless wicket-to-wicket line, with just enough cut off the pitch to worry the batsmen. Just one from that over, and his figures are now 4-0-10-1.

22nd over: Australia 104-3 (target: 300; Watson 57, White 7) So much for bowling Collingwood and Yardy through. Shahzad is back on, presumably to see if the ball is reversing. It is, a little, and the last delivery beats the inside edge of a filthy mow from White. Just three from the over. "Could Collingwood get picked just as a bowler?" says Jon Vaughan. I think it's too risky on the subcontinent, because the ball can disappear and ideally you need a sixth option in case somebody has a shocker. Then again, as things stand Collingwood won't be in the top six, so England wouldn't have a decent sixth bowler anyway. Trott's superb form has given them a bit of a problem.

23rd over: Australia 109-3 (target: 300; Watson 59, White 9) Collingwood continues to do the whole dibbly-dobbly thing, conceding five from that over. He felt his stomach after each delivery, however, so he may have a problem. England will certainly have one if he has to go off with five overs unbowled. "Just ate a banana," says Alex Netherton. "Might make a cup of tea. How bad can emails be and still get printed?" Well apparently one idiot publishes shopping lists, so that should answer your question.

WICKET! Australia 116-4 (Watson c Prior b Shahzad 63) This is a huge wicket for England. Watson is tempted by a very wide delivery and throws the kitchen sink at it, but he only gets a thin edge through to Prior. Watson yells a popular four-letter word and you can understand why, because that was a filthy delivery.

24th over: Australia 116-4 (target: 300; White 11, D Hussey 0) "Well, what could you do for Australia Day in England in January?" sniffs Angus Doulton. "Loaf around in Guardian Towers? Nip out to see if the village pub's opened early? Wonder why the heck you've never celebrated it before? Or what?" No idea.

25th over: Australia 118-4 (target: 300; White 12, D Hussey 1) Another economical over from Collingwood. Two from it – so his figures are 6-0-17-1, and Australia need 182 from 25 overs.

26th over: Australia 121-4 (target: 300; White 14, D Hussey 2) England are squeezing this game impressively. White drives Shahzad over extra cover for two, but there's only one additional run and Australia now need 7.5 per over. "I hope Colly's not hurt," says Guy Hornsby. "That would be a cruel twist of fate. He's been brilliant this morning. Just when you think he's going to fade away, he goes and reminds you just why he's indispensable, especially on the subcontinent, where his dibblies will be perfect. England really should win this as long as we don't need five overs from Trott. If that happens, things could get more nervous than a sweaty-palmed OBOer in Cardiff in 2009."

28th over: Australia 132-4 (target: 300; White 18, D Hussey 9) Tremlett is on for Shahzad (7-0-36-1), and Hussey muscles his first ball through midwicket for four. It would have been three but Pietersen on the boundary made a mess of it. He tried to scoop the ball to the supporting Shahzad but threw it onto his elbow and back over the ropes. Tremlett pulls the over back well, however, conceding just two from the last five deliveries. "Unconnected thoughts," says Dan Smith. "1. Are there any female umpires in the system? 2. It's about time we found a way to get rid of Ian Botham."

29th over: Australia 139-4 (target: 300; White 22, D Hussey 11) Trott is on for Collingwood (7-0-22-1). Australia aren't just going to let him bowl, and White lifts one handsomely over extra cover for three. It would have been four but for a stunning piece of fielding from Luke Wright, who slid along the floor and scooped the ball back just inside the boundary. Hussey cleaves two more over the covers to make it seven from the over. "Since the Angel Islington Walkabout closed down," begins Dan Smith, "I've had nowhere to go to get vomited on to the sound of Crowded House."

30th over: Australia 143-4 (target: 300; White 23, D Hussey 14) Tremlett beats White with a beauty that jags away off the seam. Then Bell, diving like a goalkeeper to his left, makes a brilliant stop when White lines into a drive. Four from the over, so Australia need 157 from 120 balls. "Did you see Dominic whatsit on Dancing on Ice?" says Lori McConnachie. "What the hell happened there??" I have no idea, as that would have entailed watching Dancing on Ice. What the hell did happen there? And what is it with cricketers and reality TV dancing?

31st over: Australia 150-4 (target: 300; White 26, D Hussey 18) There have been only two boundaries since the 13th over, and as a consequence the required run-rate is creeping up all the time. Seven from that Trott over, and Australia need 150 from 114 balls. Enough of that, let's get onto more important things. Who fancies working for Surrey CCC? They need a couple of batsme "I'm currently recruiting for Communications Interns for the 2011 season," says Jon Surtees of Surrey. "Their main role would be to report on Second XI, Academy and Women's cricket, which would be published on our website. Also, if they want and have the skills, to work with Mark Church on Surrey TV, editing highlights and interviews. Depending on how the season goes there is also an opportunity to get involved with some First XI stuff and maybe also help out during Test matches and ODIs.. Definitely interested in budding photographers as well. Full JD is here and applications (CV + Letter) should come into me before Friday February 18. Sadly it's unpaid (just travel and food expenses) but it's a really good chance to get some experience of covering cricket, build up a portfolio (everything they write will be bylined) and get involved with us. Thought it might appeal to some of the younger end of your readership…" Sod the readers, I never liked them anyway. When do I start?

32nd over: Australia 157-4 (target: 300; White 29, D Hussey 21) That's a missed stumping chance. White charged the new bowler Yardy, who saw him coming and slipped a quicker one wide of off stump. It beat White but rebounded off Prior's knee. Seven from the over. "I am very concerned about the fact I just don't hate any Australian cricketers enough," says Ian Palmer. "I used to loathe Ponting, and then he just became a comedy tantrum queen. I hated Clarke and then the rest of the Aussies hated him too. McGrath has quit, Warne was too good to hate, Hayden gone, and I always secretly liked Gilchrist. I am not sure what to do anymore. Please help." Don't hate the player, hate the boring middle overs.

33rd over: Australia 160-4 (target: 300; White 29, D Hussey 24) Matt Prior misses his second chance in as many overs. Well, technically. Hussey tried to turn one off the pads, and it went off the face of the bat before bouncing off Prior's gloves. The reaction time was about minus 0.1 seconds, so it would be harsh to blame him. Only three from the over, which is great for England. Australia now need 140 from 17 overs at 8.2ish per over. "No chance," says Andy MacInally, "of my idea of the required run-rate being shown on the OBO page being considered then?" It's a grand idea, and I'm not sure anything apart from a Murder, She Wrote marathon could give me more pleasure. But, well, I'm just a bit too simple to do that every over in addition to the other important OBO tasks, like cutting and pasting emails and stating the bleedin' obvious. It would be nice if we could get it done automatically, as on Cricinfo, but I don't think that's possible for reasons too complicated to explain/I don't understand.

34th over: Australia 172-4 (target: 300; White 38, D Hussey 25) White supplies a much needed boundary when he chips Yardy over the covers. This might be Yardy's last over, because it's his sixth and Trott has bowled three, so Trott could complete their ten-over requirement after this. The fact that Yardy's over cost 12, with White blitzing the last delivery over extra-cover for another boundary, has probably ensured this is his last over. His figures are 6-0-37-0. Oh, Samit. You've just eaten the World Cup, mate. "Just to clarify, I didn't watch Dancing with Ice," says Lori McConnachie. "I was flicking through the channels (Sunday TV is terrible) and saw him, thought I recognised him and had to wait out if it really was the captain of Hampshire. Sad times." Ah, I thought you'd meant there had been an incident. Did you smash up the dancefloor, etc and so forth.

WICKET! Australia 176-5 (D Hussey c Bell b Trott 28) What a bonus this is. David Hussey throws his wicket – and possibly the game – away, holing out to long off to give Trott his first ODI wicket. Hussey swishes his bat in annoyance.

35th over: Australia 176-5 (target: 300; White 39, Smith 0) So, Australia need 124 from 90 balls, and England have used up their fifth-bowler requirement. We can't dance around this anymore. I'm afraid we all have to man/woman up and accept that England are strong favourites. "Be interesting to see if Trollingwood can pip Smussey for bowler of the game," says Jamie Jermain. "Bet you didn't think you'd be saying that at the start of the day." I didn't, but Trollingwood sounds a bit like Trololo, so any excuse to post the best clip in the history of the world.

36th over: Australia 179-5 (target: 300; White 40, Smith 2) Tremlett replaces Yardy and hustles through an over for just three runs. Australia are going down with a bit of a whimper; they need 121 from 14 overs. "I want to do the internship Jon Surtee's advertised more than anything," says Suzanne Hall. "As a writer of oft ignored research reports I surely have at least some of the necessary skills. If I can't do that, do you know if there are any OU courses in pod shaving I could do?" Imagine if you could choose your own course. RA Smyth B.A. (Hons) Simon Brown's Test career

37th over: Australia 186-5 (target: 300; White 40, Smith 9) Trott continues, even though he doesn't need to bowl any more overs, and England have reason to regret that decision when Smith smashes a pull stroke for four. Seven from the over. "Does the OBO offer any internships?" says Erik Petersen, correctly reasoning that any old Tom, Dick or Lawrence could do this. "Might be useful to have someone who can be pawned off with, erm, given the valuable life experience of writing the dull middle overs, reading and categorising the e-mails (funny, cricket-related, marriage proposals) before passing them onto you, and giving Mr Bull his drinks-break temples massage. Actually, come to think of it, I'm available. Travel expenses and mung burrito in the canteen, yeah?"

38th over: Australia 196-5 (need 104 from 12 overs; White 42, Smith 15) Smith is a dangerous little jester, and he has started his innings superbly. When Tremlett gives him a touch of width he pings the ball behind point for four. A few cheap runs, including a wide and a single when Prior's needless throw deflects off the stumps, makes it 10 from the over. "This match reminds me of the Jimmy Connors tennis match where his opponent beat him then bragged, "He thrives on speed so I fed him junk'," says Tom Van der Gucht. "Most of the wicket takers today tend to feed up little more than junk, good on 'em." It's weird. Batsmen have been lining up to choke on the buffet.

WICKET! Australia 199-6 (White c Yardy b Trott 44) Andrew Strauss's brave decision to continue with Jonathan Trott is rewarded with what should be the match-winning wicket. After two dot balls White had to go for a boundary, and he hoicked a length ball to long on, where Yardy took a good running catch.

39th over: Australia 199-6 (need 101 from 66 balls; Smith 16, Hastings 0) Trott has two for 30 from six overs. "I'd like to mention the Finnish winter indoor cricket league is continuing apace and my team, Ekenäs CC, will gratefully accept all message of support and financial donations in this, our first season," says Nick Barlow. "Our team is composed of Finns who have never played before along with some semi-crocked Brits, an overweight South African and a devilish Nepalese spin bowler. We need all the help we can get."

WICKET! Australia 201-7 (Hastings c Strauss b Anderson 2) What a feeble dismissal. Giant Hastings gets in a terrible mess with a short ball from Anderson, pulling it straight up in the air, and Strauss runs in from midwicket to take the catch. Anderson looks Hastings up and down with a combination of contempt and pity. As the Sky chaps have just said, he won't be getting many half-volleys for the rest of this series.

40th over: Australia 201-7 (need 99 from 60 balls; Smith 17, Lee 0) This has been such a good performance in the field from England. "The small part of my heart that cares about ODIs is in love with Jonathan Trott," says Kat Petersen.

41st over: Australia 203-7 (target: 300; Smith 17, Lee 1) The Man of the Match Jonathan Trott continues. Just two from the over, and the game is up. "Maybe you should field applications LIVE! for the Surrey internship post (or jOBO, if you will)," says Richard Marsden. "It would all be very modern and exciting and web 2.0 for the recruitment marketing industry, in which I have the misfortune of spending much of my professional life. With which in mind, I'd like to be the first to throw my hat into the ring. I am a freelance copywriter (tick!) living in South London (tick!) whose portfolio of cricket writing (tick!) can be accessed by typing 'Richard Marsden Guardian OBO' into Google (cross cross cross cross cross)."

42nd over: Australia 207-7 (target: 300; Smith 20, Lee 2) "Re 37th Over, I did a couple of days work experience at the Guardian sport desk about seven years ago," says George Humphreys. "As I recall we spent most of the day trying to work out if Ruud van Nistelrooy had ever scored from outside the box. Heady days. I did not pursue a career in journalism. P.S. It was fun though, and I think we ended up deciding that no, he hadn't." It's true; at that stage he hadn't, he scored his only goal for Manchester United from outside the box at Charlton in November 2005, the day after Roy Keane was sacked. Nurse!

43rd over: Australia 212-7 (target: 300; Smith 23, Lee 3) Australia take the batting Powerplay. They should just bin that wretched thing, it's a hindrance to the batting team more often than not. Lee is turned round by a short one from Shahzad and gets a leading edge that falls a fraction short of point. "49th Over: 'England aren't going to make 300 here, and they're not going to win the match'," says Jake Groves. "Would you care to revise this opinion now?" I've had a complete shocker. Not only that, but I said they took the Powerplay at the wrong time and then Collingwood and Yardy spanked it everywhere. I also said Trott probably wasn't a one-day player. Can you be sacked for getting absolutely everything wrong.

44th over: Australia 222-7 (target: 300; Smith 28, Lee 8) Lee slaps Anderson up and over for four, but there are no fairytales here. Australia need 78 from six overs. "Adelaide, my new favourite cricket ground," says Rob Lee-Davey. "Strange after the loathing and contempt I have held for it over the previous four years. I haven't experienced such a swing in perception since David Fulton opened the batting in a sunhat against Wasim Akram at Lord's." That needs to go on YouTube as well. The look of contempt and almost boredom on Fulton's face when he took a short one on the arm was wonderful. Is that all you've got? Next!

45th over: Australia 227-7 (target: 300; Smith 31, Lee 9) No boundaries in that Shahzad over, which would have brought the run out of Smith had Prior's underarm throw hit the stumps. England's bowlers have done a mighty job here. "Perhaps you should auction the OBO Middle Overs Internship to the highest bidder, proceeds to one of those estimable charities OBO supports from time to time," says Chris Bourne. "I have absolutely no intention of paying for the privilege of opening your disappointing coffee sachets for you, but there seem to be plenty of well-heeled, and even high-heeled stalkers around who would pay good money for the chance."

46th over: Australia 239-7 (target: 300; Smith 33, Lee 19) That's a crafty shot from Lee, who makes room and squeezes Anderson's yorker past short third man for four. Later in the over he slams a pull through mid-wicket for a flat, one-bounce four. Australia need 61 from four overs. They need snookers and/or Mike Hussey. "I think Kat Petersen may have just inadvertently written the first country-and-western lyric about one-day cricket," says Erik Petersen. "Darlin', there's a small part of my heart that loves Trott too/but a Bopara-shaped hole you could cover drive through."

47th over: Australia 251-7 (need 49 from 18 balls; Smith 35, Lee 25) Shahzad's last over is boundaryless but still goes for 12. He ends with figures of one for 58, although he bowled better than that. "Of course!" says Tim Leach. "Strauss and Flower have had this planned all along. Let Australia take a 3-0 lead, and then win the last four games to take the series in agonising and humiliating style. They're like cricketeering supervillains - not content with mere victory, they want to crush Australia's cricket soul for the next ten generations. Savage."

48th over: Australia 258-7 (need 42 from 12 balls; Smith 38, Lee 30) Seven from Tremlett's ninth over, including a brilliant save on the cover boundary from Morgan. England's outcricket has been extremely good today. Well, most of it. From the last delivery, England did not appeal even though Tremlett broke the stumps with Lee short of his ground.

49th over: Australia 267-7 (need 33 from 6 balls; Smith 41, Lee 34) Smith drags Anderson behind square on the leg side for four. Lee then carts one straight up in the air and it lands between the Strauss and Trott converging from extra cover and long off. Anderson finishes with 10-1-57-2. In a high-scoring game, that's a good day's work on his return.

50th over: Australia 278-7. ENGLAND WIN BY 21 RUNS England have won an ODI at the Adelaide Oval for the first time since 1983, and it brings them back into the series at 3-1. Their total of 299 was a touch under par, but they took early wickets and then dobbed Australia to death in the middle overs. The remarkable Jonathan Trott was Man of the Match by a street. See you on Sunday morning for the fifth match. Thanks for your emails; night.