I think this blog deserves a little by of drama to start the year, don’t you? 😉

#RealityCheck I’m currently hunched up on my bed over my phone with the credits of Prom rolling on Star movies. Mio’s soundly asleep and I’m all caffeined up to “reflect” haha!

I know I could type this on the iPad like usual but the phones got more personality and I’d like to be blogging like I’m just talking to a friend. Ergo, brace yourselves beauty loving people because this is NOT a review 😉

The pre holiday classes were crazy. Exams thrown here and there..people going from busy to yolo to chillin. As for me, it’s got me looking forward for everything to pause and let me breathe. Overwhelmed is an understatement indeed. It was so stressful I didn’t even celebrate my birthday..big deal for me, I love birthdays.

The holidays started out slow..as if recuperating from a dreadful virus was how I felt. I seriously was so slow mo I did not even comb my hair for 3 days. After a shower, I’d just tie it up on a bun and watch tv. After those three days I tried to see the people I’ve been missing when I had school. Some people were awesome some ruined some for me but no regrets, I have amazing friends.

Cut short from te New Year’s my classes started early and it was again a matter of living one day at a time. Which helps sometimes when I shouldn’t be distracted by other circumstances but a little bland because I can’t even reach the point of motivation..or even inspiration.

Is it just me? Or have you ever had that feeling when you know that this is what you’ve always wanted and this is going so beautifully but you still find yourself detached..although grateful; still detached from the better things you know you should be glad of. I wonder sometimes if I am only insensitive or selfish. But sometimes I feel like I feel too much that I shouldn’t be so affected anymore.. That I need to distance myself from how I feel.

And so maybe that’s why I give so much attention to how I look. To shopping. And everything else that’s shallow which comes between them. As if willing myself to invest (can’t think of a better term but its kind of like investing my time money and attention) on physical and superficial things to avoid having to work on emotions and relationships. (I’m just typing out my thoughts, no edits, no pre thinking..typing as I’m thinking helps me think better)

Have I been too scared to get hurt once more? No I’m never scared to get hurt..I know very well how I should place myself. Maybe I’m just scared that when I get hurt again, and even if I know I’ll be fine, the other people who care about me wouldn’t be. Just like how everyone else got hurt for me during the last time I was hurt. They still are. I can see it in their eyes when they ask me about my life, feelings, relationships and moving forward. They feel sad for me. I feel sad for myself. But I really appreciate how they make the effort to show concern even if I can see it in their eyes that they’re afraid to say something over the line.

Does this mean I haven’t moved on? That I’m still too attached? I think not. I’ve left my past behind. Learned very well. But I’ve gotten so scared of my past that its so difficult to face what the mystery of the future has for me. Well I feel I’m very selective of how my future will be..selective of my present. Cause I’m avoiding every ounce of pain I’m bound to get through to be the hard and perfectly cut diamond that I want to be.

And that’s not how the world works. I can’t live my present avoiding friendships; and then giving my heart fully to superficial things. I should learn to commit my life to the tests and hardships I’d have to go through to get to the future that I want for me and Mio..in my career, self and relationships.

I should know where to stand and not to bite off any more than I can chew. Life is simple for those who has loved it simple. I chose a complicated route..one I’ve thought of as exciting and one that makes me feel. That is how I know how to live life and that is what I’ve been avoiding. I may not be longing for the past because I know ie left that far behind but it seems like I haven’t accepted my present.

Growing up makes the present much more complicated than playgrounds and homeworks. And I wish I were ready to accept all there is to today..sadly I’m not. Maybe that’s the first step. To accept that I’m not most capable. That I can’t fix everything. And that I should work on only the important ones I can deal with..not the important ones I can’t do anything about.

This may make my life sound as if there are too many problems but sometimes I wonder how its like I’d I had a different set of problems. Like what if my problem was how to get myself thru my basic needs. Would life be simpler? Easier? Having more than your basic needs mean that you’d have to give more of yourself. And I used to believe that that would make life worth living, giving everything. Used to believe..now I’m quite confused. I guess that’s the problem, how we wonder if the thee side of the fence is greener. And somehow that takes us away from our present.

Ima leave this hanging but I kinda have my resolutions now..finally 🙂 cause I felt so very uninspired to do anything good for my life after NewYears 🙂

Bought this through my classmate and it was so hassle free! 😉 I even got the discount for the first 50 buyers so I paid only 350php instead of 410php..yay discounts! 😉 I love the cover and figured it’s gonna motivate me to make better plans..haha! The past months breezed by through exams and I’ve totally lost my old self with it. My old self takes down notes of happy things to remind me why I should be thankful for today. Old self would also note days shopping and going out with friends so I keep track of expenses and nights out! 😉 that way I get a better look at my month and look forward to the next..I know it’s all mind set and quite shallow on how much I depend on my planner but frankly, that’s how I function 🙂

Let’s get to the pretty bit huh? 😉

This baby is quite functional. I’ve settled not to buy my annual Papemelrotti monthly planner for this one cause it has so much formats that will be effective for every one 😉

Opens up into an awesome title page and free feather bookmark! 😉 it’s really pretty hut for me and my bag, the feather doesn’t hold up so well so I’ll use my preferred magnetic bookmark on this..the design would go so well with my Hoops and Yoyo bookmarks 😉

Here’s a monthly Thing; great to take notes of birthdays in my opinion 🙂

I do hate how the pot thing is unhygienic and difficult to pick up just the right amount, I don’t know why Snoe made theirs like this..maybe cause it’s cute any who, because I’m just too OC about it, I transferred my Glam Jam into an airless pump from Beabi 🙂 it made my 120php Glam Jam now worth 180php..now ain’t that cheap for a well trusted product in a much better container? :)) I also transferred the sticker onto the bottle to avoid confusion of what product is inside 😉

There I just wanted to share cause I feel so friction clever for this..haha!! 🙂 I kid 😉

Do not buy coffee only to get a planner. Get a planner as reward if you actually buy so much coffee from Starbucks.

I hate how people judge how much a Starbucks planner is worth if you count how much each cup of coffee is when in reality it’s just free. And no I did not buy those cups only to get a planner. I happen to get a FREE planner as a gift from Starbucks for buying so much coffee during the season. Okay, bad vibes be gone! 😉

I love stationery since forever 🙂 notebooks, pads, pens etc! 🙂 so it wont come out as a shock if I collect planners..I’ve been loving them since college and I only use them for half a year. The rest of the year flies too fast sometimes for me to write where I’ve been and stuff. My plans and scheds are usually photos or word documents then I just write in my planner what I asexually did for that day so I have something to look back 😉 more like a journal to me 🙂 anywho, since I’m getting really sleepy now, here’s what I found in mine! 😉

Available in black, green and white. The leather like hard cover, closed by magnets, is attached to the actual notebook via garters. Although I hate how it doesn’t seem very secure, I’m glad I can use this as book cover for when I read books out..I don’t like people to see the titles of the books I read..haha! Check out the cool magnetic bookmark shaped like a cup 😉

Promo cards and this year they added random cute things on months like sweet post it’s, photo frame and post card 😉

I like this..hoping to get another one for a friend 🙂 please you guys, enjoy the coffee and then the free gift planner..you don’t have to buy this from ur friends or online..it just doesn’t make sense that way 🙂

So, Tony Moly finally opened in Alabang and I just couldn’t wait to get myself to testing 😉

I was a teeny bit disappointed with the color selection but the skin care and BB cream ranges are so vast, it’s gonna take you years to try everything! :))

As I did no prior research on the brand, I just went with what the SA sold most and another prospect for a long lasting blush 🙂 both products while keeping in mind my Beauty level 0 goal in medschool make up :))

I doth know if they gave me the membership card for free because of the price of my purchase or because they’ve just opened but I did not take the php1000 promo to get a huge tube of cleanser. It really sounds great cause it’s a HUGE tube for free but I didn’t find something more to try and pay until the required price..there will be next time 😉 I also got a free fan which I dunno when or how I’ll ever use.

Dear Me Cotton BB Cream

First Impression: This baby is the cheapest one among the BB cream range, maybe that’s why it’s the best seller. I swatched it on my hand comparing to the “glowing skin” BB creams and decided that I like how it’s sheer and matte so there no shine but at the same time doesn’t look too made up. It smells of baby powder and feels smooth on my skin. Did not settle into fine lines and dries rather quickly. I like it. I’m excited to wear it to school everyday 🙂 only catch is that this is available in one shade only.

Mineral Skin Fit Snow Blusher

First Impression: This baby reminded me very much of The Body Shop Creme Blush in tiny tubes which cost 3 times more than Tony Moly. I loved that blush but I had to save up for it cause it runs out so fast on me and it’s not easy to spend so much money. Also, the lady said that this is very long lasting so I had to really give it a try. It’s a smooth cream that feels powdery upon blending. I think I’m gonna need very little amounts of this when in use because these are super pigmented. I hope you can see thesheer pink part on my skin, cause it’s really a nice subtle color. This (Rose pink) was the only one available when I purchased, I didn’t know there were two other shades but I wouldve picked this one most likely.

All in all, I’m super happy with my purchase 🙂 What Tony Moly products have you tried?

❤ Jessica

Ps. The blush swatch was done over the blended and set BB cream so that's how it looks like after blending, matte and sheer 🙂