A Prisoner of Hopehttps://megandimaria.wordpress.com
Hope and encouragement for writing and living a thoughtful life.Fri, 18 Aug 2017 03:11:38 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/https://s2.wp.com/i/buttonw-com.pngA Prisoner of Hopehttps://megandimaria.wordpress.com
Veterans Day Tribute to an Unsung Herohttps://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/11/13/veterans-day-tribute-to-an-unsung-hero-2/
https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/11/13/veterans-day-tribute-to-an-unsung-hero-2/#respondThu, 13 Nov 2014 01:25:00 +0000http://megandimaria.wordpress.com/?p=115]]>My father was the kindest, most gentle man I’ve ever known. He was also the bravest—but I didn’t realize how brave he was until a few years before he passed away.

I had known Dad was in the Army, but other than that, little was said of his service. In our home, we didn’t discuss the war or my Dad’s role in it.

It wasn’t until I got married that I learned my father was an Army Ranger. That information was passed to me from my father-in-law. Any time my F-I-L meets another vet he asks about his service.

My F-I-L explained that as a Ranger, my dad was a true hero. But I never knew that. My father lived with his military service tucked away into a distant compartment in his mind.

Stories were never shared, photos were never shown. He may have been a hero, but he didn’t want to be. He didn’t want the world to descend into the chaos of the 1940s, but when the time came, Dad enlisted to serve his country.

Dad never offered any information about his service—not until a cold, gray morning in

December of 1996. I was staying with my parents, caring for my mother as she died. One morning as I sat at the breakfast table sipping coffee, my father trudged in and sat. His eyes held pain, but it wasn’t just at the imminent passing of his wife.

Dad started having nightmares about his WWII service the week my mother died. He told me he was one of the few survivors of a battle on Anzio Beach in Italy. The day after the battle had subsided and the smoke had cleared, my father walked the beach leading donkeys. He spend I-don’t-know-how-many hours putting the bodies of dead soldiers on the donkeys and bringing them to an area where they could be shipped home to the states.

We sat together and cried at the horror he lived through. “All my friends were killed.” He told me.

Yet my father, that truly gentle soul, persevered and did his duty. He was a hero, even though he didn’t want to be.

When I think of Veteran’s Day and all those who served our country, my Dad is first in my thoughts. He’s one of the finest men I’ve ever known. I’m grateful for his service to our country and for the gentle, loving way he raised me.

God bless America, and God bless the men and women of the armed services who guard our freedom.

]]>https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/11/13/veterans-day-tribute-to-an-unsung-hero-2/feed/0megandimariaf587c-soldiers267fd-veteransGrace toward others . . .https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/grace-toward-others/
https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/grace-toward-others/#respondFri, 07 Nov 2014 19:15:21 +0000http://megandimaria.wordpress.com/?p=105]]>As we move into November, and then continue toward the holidays, let’s take a moment to ponder how we react to those we brush past during these hectic days.

We’re all busy.

We’ve all got somewhere to go.

We’ve all got something to do.

Yet in hustle of our lives we need to pause. We need to look into the harried faces of those rushing past, and we should smile and extend grace.

It may be just the blessing they need.

Be blessed, friends! Enjoy the pleasures of the season. And give yourself a break too.

Many years ago, I worked in a large office. A couple of ladies there always made birthday cakes for co-worker’s birthdays. It was their thing, and they enjoyed sharing their creations.

One woman, I’ll call her Alice, worked alongside us. She loved the birthday celebrations. She was always first in line to snatch a piece of cake. But Alice was not always pleasant. She was often short tempered and a bit confrontational. And she was a know-it-all.

After several months of celebrating one birthday after another, her big day was approaching.

I overheard the cake ladies saying they weren’t going to make her a cake. “Wouldn’t that put her in her place?”

Alice was a prickly person who rubbed others the wrong way. I’m not even sure she realized it. She reminded everyone that her birthday was the next day and left work with a big grin, probably imagining the birthday cake she expected to receive.

The thought of her being humiliated and disappointed sat on my shoulders like a sheet of heavy, wet canvas. I was not one of the cake ladies. I didn’t really have the time nor the inclination to make a cake. But I did.

Life is hard.

I don’t know what forces combined to make Alice the person she was. But she didn’t deserve to be treated in such callous manner. So I made her birthday cake. That day I was the recipient of several eye rolls from co-workers. Perhaps they thought I was a chump.

But life is hard.

Maybe Alice had been hurt once too many times. Maybe she invented a big, tough persona to protect herself. Or maybe she was just a selfish, mean person. I don’t know.

All I know is that I didn’t want to see someone be singled out and hurt. I didn’t want to witness a heart being broken.

Maybe I was a chump. But I still believe you should give someone the benefit of the doubt, err on the side of kindness. Even if you’re wrong, you’ve done the right thing.

I was badly wounded by people I loved and trusted. It nearly destroyed me.

I realized to move forward, I must forgive. But then I became a serial forgiver, having to forgive over and again the same ones who hurt me so badly.

I’d forgive, then the feelings of hurt, rejection, and shame would return. And so would my bitterness. Those people were no longer in my life and were a thousand miles away, but every once in a while the pain would pop up as fresh as the first sting of betrayal.

So I’d forgive. Again.

It’s not easy.

It took me over a decade to come to grips with the pain of betrayal and rejection.

It’s not easy.

I chose to embrace this thought, “When we forgive it doesn’t mean the pain never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.”

Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer has control over our emotions.

If you’ve been wounded, I hope you can forgive. Forgiveness gives you a sense of power that allows you to face the pain and move beyond it.

Forgiveness gives you freedom, and that freedom opens a door.

Forgive.

It’s not easy.

But forgive anyway.

]]>https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/10/24/i-know-its-hard-to-forgive-but/feed/0megandimariaSlow down, and breath . . .https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/10/21/slow-down-and-breath/
https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/10/21/slow-down-and-breath/#respondTue, 21 Oct 2014 04:06:00 +0000http://megandimaria.wordpress.com/?p=76]]>Like most modern gals, I’ve got stuff to accomplish and a to-do list that goes on and on. So, every day I get up and get to work.

That’s good, right?

Maybe not.

One of my biggest flaws is that I fly through the hours, the days, the weeks, and the months intent of getting stuff done.

The past two weeks I’ve been watching the changes in my maple tree. It’s something I look forward to every year. Each morning I check out the rich color that seems to change hour by hour. When my tree is at its most blazing beauty, my kitchen glows orange.

And Psalm 90:12 popped into my mind: Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.

I’m going to try to slow down a bit, to be mindful of time flashing by. That’s a good idea, especially at this time of year because we know you’ll blink, and it will be 2015.

Be blessed, friends! Slow down. Enjoy.

]]>https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/10/21/slow-down-and-breath/feed/0megandimariaRed treeChoose hope. Don’t wear your grief on your sleeve . . .https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/65/
https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/65/#respondThu, 16 Oct 2014 04:37:00 +0000http://megandimaria.wordpress.com/?p=65]]>It was a rare gray afternoon in Denver. The sky was moody, clouds pressing down, rain soaking the world. I sat at a traffic light, wipers moaning across the windshield when I looked ahead and to the right.

“GRIEVER.”

Why would someone put a license plate like that on their car?

Had their heart been so wounded by loss that they were compelled to shout it to the world?

Had they given up on hope? Claimed a new identity?

I’ve grieved mightily in my life—for relationships that fractured and for well-loved people that slipped into eternity much too soon for my liking.

But I never quit moving forward. I never quit believing life would again be joyful. Honestly, at times I had to force myself to believe. I had to remind myself that I was, indeed, a prisoner of hope. I trusted that the good and the sad in my life was a condition of being human, and that God would redeem the pain and sorrow.

To overcome my grief at failed relationships, I had to learn the practice of forgiveness. To overcome my grief at the loss of life, I had to accept that pain would be a part of my life for a season. After all, grief is hard work. But I believed grief would not last forever.

And in the end, I passed through that veil of grief. In the end, there’s always hope. Always. For me, because of Whom I place my hope in.

Friends, don’t lose heart. Don’t allow circumstances to ensnare you with grief. Don’t cling to sting of the loss of a loved one. Don’t give up hope.

When I was trudging through some of the darkest days of my life, I chose to give myself a new label. I chose to become a prisoner of hope. I believe that choice helped to propel me forward. It caused me to think of myself in a new way.

I hope “the griever” has a legitimate reason for that license plate. I hope whoever it is doesn’t stay locked in that place, claiming that label.

Choose hope. Choose life. Choose to keep pressing forward.

]]>https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/65/feed/0megandimariaBook Recommendations with a dose of encouragementhttps://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/10/14/hello-world/
https://megandimaria.wordpress.com/2014/10/14/hello-world/#respondTue, 14 Oct 2014 01:00:00 +0000http://megandimaria.wordpress.com/?p=1]]>I’ve been a bit remiss lately in sharing some titles that I’ve loved.

Today I want to tell you about two non-fiction books that have moved me. Yes, occasionally I read books other than novels. I don’t read much non-fiction books, so when I pick one up, finish it, and recommend it, you know it’s good.

Renewed: Finding Your Inner Happy in an Overwhelmed World by Lucille Zimmerman has the distinction of being the only book that I’ve ever bought multiple (lots!) copies of and handed out to women in my life.

This book is a wake-up call to women to remind them to carve out space for themselves. Renewed encourages you to care for yourself. It’s a how-to on how to live happily amid the stresses of everyday life. READ IT. It’s like a spring breeze after a frosty winter. It will wake you up and help you to appreciate the little things in life that contribute to your peace and satisfaction.

Another book that blessed me is Secrets to a Happy Life by Bill Giovannetti. This book illustrates how God is working in your favor, how to move past negative emotions that ensnare your thoughts, and how to choose to be happy. Secrets to a Happy Life uses examples from the life of the OT Joseph, and boy did he have some difficult circumstances to live through.

I found the stories told and lessons explained in this book to be so relatable. Bill’s writing made me stop, think, and pray about thoughts concerning past events that floated on the periphery of my consciousness, often dragging me down when I least expected it. Over a decade ago, I endured a huge ache in my life that I’m still recovering from. Reading this book was another piece in the puzzle to refining my response to that life-changing event.

The chapters are divided into 11 secrets to happiness–all issues that impact everyone. The secrets contain beautiful, profound, and affirming words. We aren’t promised a perfect life, but this book shows us that we can choose a happy life.

Both of these books are keepers. They’ll live on my bookshelf for those days when I need a bit of wisdom to pick me up and keep me going.

Writers and would-be writers are always looking for wisdom from those who’ve gone before us.

I’ve assembled some thoughtful comments and put them in a Q&A format for you to enjoy.

Question: When is the best time to begin a writing career?

Answer: “Today is your day, your mountain is waiting, so get on your way.” ~Dr. Seuss

Question: From where does our writing ability come? Is it inborn? Learned?Answer: As Mother Teresa said, “We are all pencils in the hand of God.”

Question: Is it difficult to learn the craft of writing?Answer: “Yes, it’s hard to write, but it’s harder not to.”~Carl Van Doren

And here’s more advice on writing from other authors:“Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go.”~ E.L. Doctorow

“Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.”~Barbara Kingsolver

Question: How much time should a writer commit to his/her craft?Answer: “The way you define yourself as a writer is that you write every time you have a free minute. If you didn’t behave that way you would never do anything.”~John Irving

And as author Ray Bradbury said, “Quantity produces quality. If you only write a few things, you’re doomed.”

Another thought to ponder is, “Either marry your work – take it seriously and do it every day – or date it – write only when you feel like it – but know which you are doing and the repercussions of both.”~Anonymous

Question: Is writing all about sitting at a computer and pounding out a story?Answer: Not necessarily so. As Victor Hugo said, “A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is visible labour and there is invisible labour.”

Question: What about word count? Is there any advice on pacing yourself?Answer: “The faster I write, the better my output. If I’m going slow, I’m in trouble. It means I’m pushing the words instead of being pulled by them.”~Raymond Chandler

Also, “If the doctor told me I had six minutes to live, I’d type a little faster.”~Isaac Asimov

Question: Must you have all the answers when you sit down to write your story?Answer: “Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”~E. L. Doctorow

Question: How do you know you’ve reached a level of success?Answer: “Success comes to a writer, as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.”~P.G. Wodehouse

Question: Is there a secret to becoming a successful author?Answer: “The secret of becoming a writer is to write, write, and keep on writing.”~Ken MacLeod

And I leave you with a final thought: ” May I never grow too old to treasure ‘once upon a time.'”~Anonymous