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This is a story about a big brother, Lance Angelswift, fleeing his home with his little sister, Cherry Blossom, to protect her from their father. They travel to Ponyville and stay in a house that is on the edge of Everfree Forest. Lance starts hearing about the stories of the forest from the local residents and he begins to worry for the safety of his little sister.

Helpful Criticism is always welcome. Upon review, I may have used it more times then was necessary. I have fixed this by replacing her name where possible and without breaking the sentence to pull people out of the immersion of the story. Thank you and I hope that the editing is more pleasing for you.

I thank you for your kind words, and i assure you i do my absolute best to get the capitals in all the right places. Just sometimes they do slip through the cracks. I'll continue to try and improve and watch out for those annoyances. Thank you.

Well, when I did that bit,. I was imagining her "Stare" voice, and if you go back to the Stare Master episode, she does actually say "Young Man".

Okay, yes, she's saying it to a cockatrice. But that's where the mistake came from and why I repeatedly missed it. I will edit the error, and I thank you for pointing it out. And it's funny you mention proof reader, because I do have one, but he wasn't online when i finished this chapter and I did ask a bunch of friends if they could give it a look over before i published the chapter. But they were all too busy or tired and I was just too impatient to be patient. But don't worry, I promise i'll sort something out and try to bring you the best quality I can. Pinkie Promise!

>>800601800601 LOLOLOLOL. Its K. My fanfic also has errors and I need proofreaders to pick them up. When I first published my chapters I didn't have a proofreader. Now that I have two, i am so constantly revising it and rewriting sections to make it more clear that I literally can't seem to start writing the next chapter!!

Well, it's almost done. Truth be told, Chapter 13 was supposed to be MUCH longer then this but at about 75% of the way through I noticed the chapter was already 5,500+ words and I'm still not finished. So I cut it in half so I could give you a little something to enjoy. I'd hate to release a 7000+ word chapter. Would be epic but I just think some ppl might put off reading something that long in one go

Ok I read the very last sentance, and my heart just dropped, missed a beat and became extremely heavy all at once, then I went dizzy and I felt sorrow all over my face, a story that can make you feel such powerful emotion like that, your doing well, even though it's sad and scary, it's still good. But seriously man, I couldn't stop reading this story at this point, I would got to the ends of the Earth to read the end, Just promise me one thing, Make it have a happy ending in way or form of another, I don't think the very fibres of my heart can take it if something too bad happens.

I... I'm happy that you would ask for that, but i really cannot think of anyway to write a sequel to this. Yes i left a few holes in the story. The father for example. but no. Thank you for your support through this, but i really have no plans at this time for a sequel.