~ if only I could take my own advice

About.

Quick edit to say I now have a job (wooop!) which I will be starting soon, and I am now a healthy weight for my height (wooop!) These two things seemed impossible a year ago, but I’ve made it :)

Original (July 2011):

Hello.

Me? I’m a trained Teacher (without an actual job, unfortunately) in my late(ish) twenties living in the UK.

I have started this blog and I’m not sure why, or what I’m expecting to achieve from it. To cut a long story short, I’m recovered/recovering from anorexia nervosa and can feel myself slipping. I need to keep my mind off it, and I enjoy reading other people’s blogs so figured why not start my own? It has become a useful outlet for me, and I have learnt so much from reading others people’s blogs that have helped me along the way.

It will probably be a mishmash of general chatter, venting of my frustrations with myself and other people, and any bits and bobs I feel like talking about. One thing I’ve learnt so far about recovering from an eating disorder, is that it’s bloody hard! It’s a very up-and-down experience, but I’m hoping to come out the other side a lot happier :).

I would love to be one of those people with a real flare for writing, but unfortunately I’m not. I am writing this more because I know it’s very very unlikely that anyone will actually read it, and I can therefore say whatever it is I want to say without worrying too much about revealing my deepest darkest secrets and anxieties. If anybody does read my blog, thank you, and I hope it isn’t a complete waste of your time.

To anyone who does read this and is dealing with anorexia recovery I would love to hear from you, your stories, how you manage the ups and downs of the recovery process and any words of wisdom you might have.

Like this:

13 thoughts on “About.”

Thank you for your comment on my blog. I’ve been reading about you and some of your recent posts which I’ve found really reassuring. I don’t know anyone close to me that has or is recovering from an ED. Therefore it’s really comforting to see your progress and thoughts. Your festive food looked amazing by the way! Looks like you’ve made such progress :)

Thanks for reading :). I don’t personally know anyone with an eating disorder either so since I’ve started reading people’s blogs and writing this one it’s been good to see I’m not the only person who experiences these ups and downs. Keep writing and hope you find it useful, as you can see I use my blog mainly to rant! x

I follow your blog(s) as well (do you have 2?) and glad to hear you’re heading forward in recovery too!

I’ve started to see a Dietitian on the NHS, and to be honest, I may not be the best person to give advice on a proper weight gain diet because the lady I see isn’t all that helpful.

The food I eat isn’t particularly healthy, or balanced. I’ve seen a lot of food plans around which are very focussed on clean/healthy eating and at the moment, it’s not something which concerns me so I feel a bit embarrassed posting the food I eat for fear of being frowned upon by healthy eaters! I’ll send you an email with a general outline of what I eat at the moment. :)

Do not EVER feel bad about what you eat! Damn that. There is NO reason you should compare yourself to those perfectly clean eating people because you really dont wanna swap one disordered eating habit for another! ‘Have your cakes’ woman! ;) And most importantly; enjoy em!

Sometimes it’s hard not to be self-conscious about my less than healthy diet, but to be honest, I enjoy sweets and chocolate a hell of a lot more than so called healthy foods so that’s the direction I’m continuing to head :). (I do still eat veg & fruit though I must say!) xx

I want you to know that even if no one else reads this (which clearly they have up above :) ) I will be following your journey and the struggles and triumphs that go along with it. I think that you are very brave to have openly created this blog in order to help yourself–THAT is progress. I, myself, am a recovering anorexic. Well, I guess perhaps you could say that at one time last year I was “recovered” enough to be discharged from the outpatient treatment facility I had been attending for two years. However, I winded up in the emergency room and ‘thus back to OP in less than one month from my discharge. I was diagnosed at thirteen, but I developed my eating disorder when I was eight years old. The first go around, I did what I was told for every reason and every person but myself–never did I truly deal with the various causes, triggers, and etc. Now I am seventeen years old and at the lowest place I have been in over a year. I have been battling with depression/self-harm/suicide/addiction for a very long time now, but it is currently at its peak. I created my blog for pretty much the same reason as you. I set out with the hope to not only help others (which, is what I want to do with my life when all this is said and done) but also rediscover myself and begin my recovery. I am in a place of little hope, as the fear of letting go is so tremendously immense that I truly cannot ever imagine myself being “normal,” so to speak. Nonetheless, seeing someone else embark on their journey towards health/happiness is inspiring. I wish to you the upmost strength as you begin to reclaim your life. I know that I probably seem like just another ridiculous teenage a girl to you, but I would like you to know that if you ever need anyone to just simply listen, I’m only an email away. Stay strong; there is always beauty in the ashes.

Thank you so much for your comment it really means a lot, and no, I don’t see you as a ridiculous teenage girl. Anything but. You must be a lot stronger than you think with what you’ve been through.

It’s nice to know that people read, and even if it wasn’t my intention to begin with I hope it helps people to see that recovering from an Eating Disorder certainly isn’t a simple process but it’s possible to move forward.

I really hope you get the help you deserve, and offer the same to you, always happy to read and listen. Thanks again :)

Hi :)
I am currently recovering from anorexia as well. I had been recovering and then relapsed and just yesterday i decided enough is enough. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I am glad i have found your blog and i will be following your posts through you journey.
take care :) Florence

I think it is a wise and brave choice you have made, especially when you are so young. You don’t want to be my age and still struggling! It will be very difficult and sometimes feel impossible but it will be worth it. (Although 99% of my posts are me moaning, there are good days too I promise!) x

Hello! I know it has been 2 years since you posted this but I feel really compelled to leave a comment here. I am currently in recovery from anorexia and I can totally relate to the feelings that you went through such as preferring to eat alone so that you won’t end up comparing and feeling like crap when others eat lesser than you and stuff like that. I am really thankful that I have found your blog as it reminds me that I am not alone in this. It just seems to be really difficult for those who have never had anorexia before to relate to us. I will definitely continue reading your blog even though you are not updating anymore. :)