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We woke up at 5:30 a.m. — the bed was rattling and shaking. We were confused and thought maybe it was a lightning storm; we learned this morning that parts of the lower Midwest were hit with a 5.4 earthquake!

The article quotes professors of Early Modern history, comparative literature, and anthropology on the question of the efficacy of the David Ortiz jersey buried (and then dug up) outside Yankee stadium — an attempted curse on the Yankees apparently thwarted, or perhaps not. E.g. “To Michael Seidel, a professor of comparative literature at Columbia, Ortiz’s jersey presents an obvious parallel — the armor of Achilles, of course. “Who has the shield? Who has the armor? That’s the whole issue of ‘The Iliad,’ ” he said. “It’s a kind of talismanic power of the thing worn. What happens to it can create all kinds of havoc in classical literature.””

“Ortiz, who had heard of the buried jersey, was able to sum up his thoughts with a single expletive before adding, “I don’t pay attention to any of this.””

Wordy profs, when will you learn how to sum up your thoughts “with a single expletive”?