Black Relationships : Paying Tribute to Black Women

Black women catch so much flack! We get it from men and we get it from our own--Black women. All too frequently we are loosely but deliberately described in ways that are demeaning and dehumanizing. I wonder what it is that those people see that I don't see.

We're often described as aggressive, harsh, loud, stubborn, greedy, irresponsible, whiners, selfish, two-faced, whores, forever PMS'ing man-hating "I don't need you, I can take care of myself" feminists. I've read several threads here and frankly, I don't get it. What is it that makes some people dislike Black women so much? I have seen where Black women are [figuratively speaking] burned at the stake and used as scapegoats for so many things that have gone wrong in our relationships and our communities.

Some people are setting us up as the reason for failed marriages, broken homes, sons that are shiftless and no good, daughters that are sexually promiscuous and lacking of morals, men that don't want to get married anymore and we get blamed for Black men that choose to turn to White women or other women of color for comfort and understanding because they can't get those things from her. A mass appeal has been put forward for Black women to face up to our responsibibility for pushing Black men away. To some people, it's obvious, a Black woman will always fall short of their standards and never be good enough unless she changes to become like they want her or thinks she should be.

Praise the Lord that some of us don't see things that way. I see a different Black woman and I'd like this thread to pay tribute to her.

I see the good wives, the great lovers, the nurturing mothers, the spiritual sisters, the fighters for equality and for freedom, the defenders of our communities and the protectors when there's no man around to do it. I see the grandmothers who are wise and always forgiving. I see the women who go to work everyday because she has to and come home at night tired but with enough energy to take care of the family's needs. I see a women that seldom gets paid a compliment, who fights battles at work and often struggles at home but still gets up the next day and does it all over again. I see the Black woman who has always put the needs of others before her own, and when she tries to take care of herself for a change, she's called "selfish." I see a person that is deserving of respect, gratitude, love and positive recognition.

For those that want to pay tribute to the PHENOMENAL BLACK WOMAN, please add your comments, stories, testimonies here. Let's have a celebration...

Black women are strong. we wont die! We are not going to sit back and let situations trap us like we were before. We will stand up for ourselves if our black men wont do it. We push them hard because we want to break a pattern that has been with us for years. Black men dont understand we want change. we want growth. we want it now and we wanted it yesterday. So dont tell us tomorrow you will take care of it because your tommorrow came years ago. we are determined to get this right are'nt you?
Yes we push you hard because we love you. We pushed you out of our wombs but you dont seem to have a problem with that.
Dont tell me tomorrow what you should have done today. Our men! you are getting a bad rap in society also. you are said to be murders, bums, stupid, and many more negative things. you represent us. Your black women. so dont be mad if we are tough on you. we know all of the things you are not and want you to be respected for all the wonderful things you are. You would not be a black man if it was,nt for a black woman. Now I,m not talking about the few black men that are holding it down.
I say thankyou to you. For showing your strength and provin society wrong.

You simply amaze me. I also salute you and all the other Black women who have affected my life so profoundly. From my maternal Grandmother born at the turn of the 20th Century, who lived to be 96 years old-who owned and operated her own business thereby supporting herself and her three children, to my Mother who left her native land seeking new and better opportunities, to my older Sista who has and continues to be my little Mother who works as a social worker trying to reunify and strengthen the Black family.
I stand in awe of these women and hope to be half the woman these women are.
So Keme (cuz I know you're watching) don't come at me about what I'd do to get and keep a man--ask me what I'd do for my Sistas and the answer will be--continue to praise them and support them because they are me!

(((((((((((((((((((HUGZ TO ALL MY SISTAS BUT AN EXTRA SPECIAL ONE TO MY QUEEN!!!))))))))))))))))))))))))))

To all the sistahs, there are brothas out there who still cherris yall, me included. Just because we donot say it everyday, have a disargeement, are not the most romantic person,etc doesnot mean we donot love yall! Here is a poem I read on some site and had kept. Hopefully I am not breaking any rules for posting this. I donot know who it is by but, if you do let me know:Why Black Men Love Black Women

Let there be no doubt, Black men love Black women.
Ask men what they love about Black women and some will say they love the many hues of a Black woman's skin--the reddish-brown cinnamons, the golden honeys, the milk chocolates
and jet black coffees, no cream. Ask others and they will say they love the Black woman's inner temperament-- fragile and pretty like a teacup one minute, and hard and complex like a
Chinese puzzle the next.

Still others will say they love Black women because Black women are the epitome of beauty, the giver of life, a steadfast protector and a nurturer. They will say they love Black women because Black women continue to walk proudly, absording life's blows with grace and fortitude, serving as the glue that holds together an
entire race of people.

Many men will say they love Black women, because, more than any other woman in the world they are the easiest to love.
And although Black men, like all men, sometimes have a hard time showing it. They will be the first to admit they cannot live without Black women. Her being is to be loved and cherished by her man, she's a queen. A true queen. We love Black women because they are the mothers of our Black future.

We love Black women because of their enduring strength, a strength that at times has risen above the failures of Black fathers. We love their curly hair, their braided hair, their straightened and even kinky hair. We love their full lips, and of course, their brown sugar skin. But most of all....

We love Black women because we are a product of a Black woman. Black men are born of Black women and influenced by the Black women in our lives. We have to be able to love Black women in order for us to love ourselves.

I thank God for the positive Black women in my life, especially my Mom and Grandmom who along with the positive male role models in my life taught me how to handle life; its positives and its negatives. They taught me to live life to the fullest. They taught me that to be strong, you don't have to push others around. They taught me that to be loving, you don't have to be weak. They taught me how to know who is a man and who isn't a man. They taught me how to know who is a woman and who isn't a woman.

They taught me the meaning of knowing myself. They taught me to carry myself as a lady regardless of whethering I am studying for a degree, moving up the corporate ladder or at home. They taught me how to be independent, yet thrive lovingly in a partnership. They taught me that compromise is not always giving in or giving up, it just means that situations can't always go as I want them. They taught me that just because they love me, it doesn't me they aren't going to tell me when I am wrong.

They taught me the importance of prayer and to surround myself with positive people of all genders and races. They taught me that it is one thing to talk of change and another to effect change. They taught me it is my duty to serve others who are less fortunate and commit myself to volunteerism.

PANTHA, thank you for the tribute to the Phenomenal Black Woman. Your testimony reflects a genuine appreciation and respect for Black women who have struggled, given of themselves, fought against racism and oppression, contributed to the arts, and have done amazing things on behalf of their people. Many of their voices may be silent now but those of us who consider them to be our true heroes--we accept your tribute in their behalf!

NEXT? I'm sure some of you know of a teacher, a nurse, a daughter, a best friend or someone who keeps you in their prayers and continues to encourage you . . .