Top 5 Signs You’ve Got the Pre-Date Dread

credit: bunchofpants (Flickr)Butterflies abound, aflutter in the stomach is a good indication of excitement before a first date. But when its stomach turns and cold sweats, it’s a case of something else: the pre-date dread. Aside from clammy hands and upset tummy, here are five signs you’re cringing over this first-time rendezvous from cyberland to real-time.

1. Pencil to Pen. Taking the step from digital to IRL is one thing, but penciling a date to confirming it in pen is another. Rule of thumb: level the awkward playing field by confirming the date 24 to 48 hours prior. Whether you’re reaching out to confirm or accept the confirmation, making a commitment in the date book shows the other person you’re genuinely interested in meeting them. If not, you might be playing the avoidance game.

2. Furry Friend. Pre-date prep rarely fluctuates. Unless the lumberjack look appeals (for men and women), most prep includes a shave, wash and wax; think clean! Nothing beats a first impression … and if you’re skipping over these simple steps, you’re not too interested in making a good one.

3. Solo Pre-Game. Though drinks are always a good icebreaker, there are some you should avoid — especially those taken solo. A glass of wine while choosing shoes or a beer when waiting for someone to arrive is an acceptable accompaniment to such activities. Tequila shots, refills and car bombs are not. And going on to drink two, three (or four) can lead to blurred vision, slurred speech and a forgettable date. But hey, maybe that’s what you were aiming for.

4. Rain Check. Reschedule once, twice, third times the charm. If you’ve done the date book shuffle at least three times without ever committing (see Pencil to Pen above), you’ve got the pre-date dread. While we encourage online daters to join at least two online dating sites and to date a couple of people at once during their search, still remember to do everyone (including yourself!) a favor and don’t waste anyone’s time.

5. Rain Call for Plan B. “Is it raining?” This atypical line can be used as a lifesaver on a bad date. A simple yes or no, and the friend on the other line comes in with Plan B: often a sick relative, always an emergency that you simply cannot say no to. Try to go into a first meet with an open-mind and no backup plan and give the your date the benefit of the doubt — what’s one hour for a chance to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right [now]? If a rain call is a must, let’s not attach the Plan B, which is the confirmed plans when you “just know” the date will tank.

Having a Plan B is a flag on yourself to note: you’re not as confident as you’d like to believe about meeting this person and are giving yourself an out. Re-consider your out before going out.