It might be a small part of a woman’s body, but making your vulva happy, and you happy with your vulva can impact your overall wellbeing. From better skin to more restful sleep, getting to know your vulva has implications well beyond the immediate pleasure it will bring. Here are five simple steps, to vulva happiness and sexcess.

1. Use the right name

The vulva and vagina are often misunderstood. Many of us have adopted a carefree attitude, going through life calling it whatever it may be. But giving what’s between our legs the wrong name may lead to you missing out on all the pleasure it has to offer. So let’s get this right, the vulva is the entire area from the tip of the pelvic bone to the anus. It’s contains multiple pleasure zones, so why would we want leave any of them out . The vagina is the entrance, the canal in which we enjoy penetrative sex, and give birth through. Yes, it also contains the G-spot, which is an amazing part of the vagina but it’s only one pleasurable part of the bigger picture. It might just be a name but women’s sexual pleasure comes from more than just a hole, it’s an entire area – Hello Vulva!

2. Explore

It’s yours, it’s between your legs and you are allowed to touch it! So many women are fearful of really getting to know what’s between their legs. Don’t be scared to know exactly what your vulva looks like; how it feels; what marks, bumps and freckles are there, and exactly what it is made up of. You will never be able to detect changes unless you know what it looks like in the first place. Get well acquainted with it because it really is your best friend. Know which parts feel good and which area is more sensitive; play with it so you are able to discover what gets you over the edge (yes, I am talking about masturbation). Just like everybody is different, so is every vulva and it’s important to know yours intimately.

3. Love your vulva

Unfortunately we are living in the era of photoshop and labiaplasties, and are made to feel, just like with other parts of our body, that our vulva is not good enough (but shhh don’t tell it that). Considering that every vulva is different, how can there be a measure of normality? Just like you work on self-esteem around body image, go that little bit further down and work on self-esteem for your vulva too. Expose yourself to other images of vulvas (make sure you view images of real vulvas (porn does not count) and challenge yourself on any negative thoughts.

4. Give it some exercise

You exercise the rest of your body to keep it healthy and happy, so why leave out down below. You might have heard of Kegel or pelvic floor exercises. All women should be doing them. Think of it like the muscles of your arms. Your pelvic floor needs a work out to strengthen it and increase blood flow in the area. Stronger pelvic floor muscles can assist with not only achieving orgasm, but also increasing the intensity of orgasm. Now get to work!

5. Use it!

You know what it’s called, what it looks like, how it works, and how to make it stronger. Now go and put it to good use. But keep in mind it’s not just a vagina, it’s a vulva and there is a lot more area to experience pleasure. Think outside of the bounds of penetrative sex and focus on what feels good. And if you make it happy, it just might reciprocate that feeling.

Nikki Goldstein holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology, a Postgraduate Diploma in Counseling and a Doctorate of Human Sexuality from San Francisco’s esteemed Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality; and is a highly credible authority on the topics of love, sex, dating, romance and relationships.