This writing community has an amazing talent, the desire to Pay It Forward. Truly, it is humbling to see other writers, published and unpublished, agents and editors, stretch out their hand to help others who are just discovering the craft.

Let us go onward. And never stop learning.
Now excuse me while I take a nap.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

In another life, I was a prison guard at a minimum-security prison where scary times are interspersed with mind-numbing inaction. It was a great place to witness human nature.

And I have never laughed so hard before or since that time.
For instance:

An inmate came down the stairway, one hand holding his, um, crotch area. A noise accompanied every step. It…rustled.

He stopped and we stared at each other. In the silence, when his pants crackled again, I knew this was going to be hard, I mean difficult.

“What cha got in your pants?” I said, trying to remain professional.

The inmate grimaced and then pulled a cellophane bag of candy out of his britches. It is a rule in prison that an inmate cannot share their canteen purchases with other inmates. It encourages debt and debtors. By hiding them in his pants, he thought he could get around this rule.

He rolled his eyes and half-smiled.

I gave him the stink eye. “You need to take it back to your locker and find a better hiding place next time.”

Now I had a dilemma. Should I write the inmate a violation?

“…I observed Inmate Smith with something in his pants…”

“…Inmate Smith had candy in his pants…”

“…Inmate Smith’s crotch made an unusual noise…”

In the end, I didn’t write the guy a violation. My fellow officers would have laughed for days if I had.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I like Richelle Mead’s Succubus series and Dark Swan. Love the story line, mystery, conflict, and especially her writing style. But, um, well she can get quite descriptive on occasion.

That’s okay. I am not a prude or in anyway offended. But after reading one *insert tab A into slot B* scene, I skip those bits and pieces and move onto the story. In other words, it does nothing for me.

But this passage from Jack London’s Burning Daylight is something else again. The couple has just married and arrived at Daylight’s ranch house.

“She heard the footsteps of Daylight returning, and caught her breath with a quick intake. He took her hand in his, and, as he turned the doorknob, felt her hesitate. Then he put his arm around her and together they passed in.”

To me it speaks volumes, beautiful, subtle, and oh-my-goodness romantic.
Wicked Game by Chris Isaak is, IMHO, one of the most erotic songs ever.

‘What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way,

What wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.

What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way,

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and

I don’t want to fall in love.

‘The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.

It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do.

I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you.

And I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you.’

Are there books or songs that affect you? Passage not generally viewed as erotic.

(Note: Copy your manuscript before giving this a whirl. Just in case.)

- Press Select+A on your keyboard (Or go up to the Edit drop down menu and choose Select All). This should highlight your entire document. Right click somewhere and go to Paragraph. Under the Indents and Spacing Tab, go to Indentation. Set Left and Right at 0”. Set Special for First Line (this will make your paragraphs automatically indent), by .5”. Don’t ever use the TAB key; this will not show up on an e-reader.

Now go to the next section, still fixing Paragraph, labeled Spacing. Before and After should be opt, and Line Spacing should be Double. This will make your paragraphs evenly spaced. Don’t take for granted that your entire MS is properly spaced already, there are always mistakes.

For new chapters, you can press Enter a few times or, to get the new chapter on a new page, press Shift+Enter. This will put your chapter on a new page and show up nicely on an e-reader (if you press Enter too many times then it might show up on the e-reader as a blank page before we get to the new chapter) Also don’t put your chapter titles in fancy fonts. It doesn’t even need to be in a bigger font.

Using Find and Replace (Ctrl+f) to delete all your tabs by using ^t in MS Word.-

Friday, April 22, 2011

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. The greatest rock song of all time. I requested a wedding band play it during a couple’s dance. They declined for some reason.

Music plays a part in my chosen craft. Sometimes it is Mozart. Other times soundtracks from movies like Star Trek (2009) or Pride and Prejudice (2005) that inspire me. E. S. Posthumus has a place in my heart also.

But, Ho Boy, it is rock with its jarring rhythms that heighten tension, are in the background of the fights scenes, and the revelations that are the turning points in my novels.

I’ve gotta have Nickelback, Hinder, Linkin Park, 30 Seconds to Mars, My Darkest Days, Matchbook Romance (love Monsters), and Three Days Grace pounding in the background when I write.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

I didn’t cuss until I was in my thirties. Then, after several hours of tax figuring, I ‘saved’ my column of numbers on the computer and exited. The computer burped and thanked me for the meal. I yelled my first F-Bomb at it. The speakers snickered back.

Later, as a Corrections Officer I learned all kinds of new words.

But a mouse (a rodent, not a computer device) is what caught the Avon lady’s attention. The varmint (mouse not the lady) had the run of the house. None of my ancient traps worked so I set a shiny new black trap and waited.

That fateful day, the Avon lady rang my doorbell. Since I did not know her well, we traded comments about the weather and sat erectly on the sofa. Think gloves and china teacups, okay?

From the kitchen, I heard a SNAP!

I jumped to my feet and yelled, “Hot Damn. Nailed the little bastard.”

Her expression holds a permanent place in my memory. She left and avoided my house thereafter.

In fact, the neighbors avoided me for months. You know how those Avon ladies get around.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."

A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.

Q. How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence. They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.

Rules to Write By:

Avoid alliteration. Always.

Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

Be more or less specific.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoid

by rereading and editing.

A writer must not shift your point of view.

Don't overuse exclamation marks!!

Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives

An unpublished writer comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she said. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was an agent wanting to speak to you. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is--”

“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” the man says. “An agent called?”

Q. What's the difference between publishers and terrorists?A. You can negotiate with terrorists.

“I learned that you should feel when writing, not like Lord Byron on a mountaintop, but like a child stringing beads in kindergarten – happy, absorbed and quietly putting one bead on after another.” Brenda Ueland.

“Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.” Robert A. Heinlein.

“A person who publishes a book appears willfully in the public eye with his pants down.” Edna St. Vincent Millay

“I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.” Oscar Wilde.

“If writing seems hard, it’s because it is hard. It’s one of the hardest things people do.” William Zinsser.

“Easy reading is damned hard writing.” Anonymous

“Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it, and sometimes you’re doing good work when it feels like all you’re managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position.” Stephen King.

“I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.” P.G. Wodehouse, after being asked about his writing technique.

Most important:

“Being a good writer is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the Internet.” Anonymous.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Picture Captain Jack Sparrow on the deck of the Black Pearl. The Kraken is moments away from tearing his beloved ship apart.

It is a grand sight; his chin lifted his back straight, gazing into death. But would it affect us if he hadn’t fought his self-centered ego along the way?

Conflict – our protags must have faults. They must have kryptonite to overcome. It can be physical bumps in the road like a battle that leaves them bloody and crawling away to recover. Or it can be mental.

Jack had his Pearl then lost it. Several times. He found a treasure-filled cave but a storm erased it. He left his crew to face the Kraken without him. But he conquered his fear and returned to fight.

All superheroes must have imperfections, just like us. Without faults, there are no markers to judge them by and no connection.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Can’t you hear them, the voices? The protag pulling your shirttail, yelling in your ear. She is trying to tell you something.

Psychotic much?

Naaah. We are all writers here; we know about the voices and accept them as part of our passion to compose. But are you listening to them?

Ask your characters what they are experiencing at the beginning of a scene. Are they anxious? Impatient? Spoiling for a fight? Angry, suspicious, terrified beyond all capacity to reason?

Put yourself in their shoes.

Okay, maybe that is just this side of nuts but you know what I mean. Ask them what they feel at that particular moment in the story, tap into those voices, and show this in your writing. It gives your MS the reality it requires.

Yeah, I know medication is available for the voices but this is way more fun.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

When the weather turns mild, the trees feather out their leaves, and a warm rain falls, people will brave ticks and charge through Keep Out signs to look for mushrooms, or specifically, morels.

Okay. I am not one of them.

Yes, they are tasty dumped in an egg and cracker batter and fried in butter.And there is a certain thrill in the discovery of a large patch. Then bragging rights can ensue.

But, you people are nuts. First off, there are ticks. TICKS *shiver*. Some are big enough to pick off but others are what we call ‘seed’ ticks, about the size of the period at the end of this sentence.

Get a couple hundred of those on you and I guarantee, the dance you do will not require music.

Then if you do find morels and avoid the ticks, you must soak the mushrooms in salt water to get rid of the little mite-thingies.

No thanks. I’ll stick with regular old white cap or Portobello that I can hunt in relative safety at the local grocery store.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

In Missouri, this is the time of lilacs, sun-dried clothes, and honey. On our farm, this is the only season the three scents combine and breathe with the wind.

Odors spark the synapses in my brain and always pull me into a memory. Forty years ago, my sister made butter and now the smell takes me back to her. If I catch a whiff of mothballs and Channel No5, I think of my deceased mom.

In your manuscript, use aromas to focus the reader, to give a point of reference. After I read the words in one of my favorite novels, the scent of lilacs, honey, and sun does it for me, tugs my thoughts back to the book.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Convince the reader that your world is not only possible but also probable.

My genre, my drug of choice, is urban fantasy or contemporary fantasy. Now, I’d love it if dragons, snarky rapiers, and wizards existed in our world especially if I could meet one. But as much as I hate to admit it, they don’t. *sigh*

My job as a writer is to break the reader’s resistance and show them a woman can control animals (and people) just by wishing it so. I want them to believe that wizards pull magic from the earth and conspiracies abound in our world. Did you know a fresh-made wizard caused an earthquake in Iowa? *G*

To do this the writer must first make the characters believable. Second, the villains must have human traits that give the reader a point of reference. And third, create layers of facts, arguments that give your little voices life.

Reality is only a perception. Give the reader a peek into your world and open another door into their imagination.

For truly sinister attributes, build your antagonist through the eyes of your protag. Don’t tell the reader what a badass the antag is. Prove it. Give the protag’s perception. Use her fear and anxiety to show the reader.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My characters come to life at my treadmill. With music blaring (Lady Gaga usually, heaven help me), I work out at four mph. My spiral notebook rests on the pedestal covering my digital screen.

Beats me why this works. Maybe my mind clears, I don’t know. I write scenes, plot an outline, what is going through my protag’s head, and major shifts in storyline direction. The spiral notebook follows me from treadmill to computer where I slap meat on the bones of the story.

Bing, bam, boom.

Sausage; sometimes ya don’t wanna know how it’s made. But with a family like mine, material presents itself. Hence the photo.

Btw, it’s kind of scary writing a love scene with Bad Romance rocking in the background.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Adults fell on E-readers like people diving on the last cake at a bake sale. And teens are following the trend.

Who would have imagined it, kids with their feet up, Kindle in hand?

I wanted to read so bad that as a 5 year old, I looked at the illustrated version of The Black Stallion by Walter Farley and made up my own story. In first grade, (no kindergarten where I lived) when the strange shapes on the pages began to make sense, reading became my world.

Robert Heinlein’s Have Spacesuit, Will Travel enticed me to enter the realm of Sci-fi. After reading The Forgotten Door by Alexander Key, there was no turning back.