I went through a phase. For a while, I used to date recently divorced men. And I had a thing for dudes with kids.

Stop looking at me like that.

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Yeah, because I'm fucking nice and shit.

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But, in all seriousness, I'll break down how this happened:

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I used to date caretakers. Men who were so used to giving EVERYTHING to their partners and their children. Then they grew resentful that no one was taking care of them. Post-divorce, no longer having a wife and children around 24/7, they felt lost.

And they wanted someone to give 100% of themselves to them because they had been "neglected" for so long.

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That's where I came in.

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I took care of them.

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And they were always down for super fun sex because they were used to having 8-minute missionary sex with their wives once a week. They were like "wrist restraints¿¿¿" and I was like GET USED TO IT, BUD, BECAUSE MY BIGGEST FEAR IS BORING SEX.

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But the thing with former caretakers is that they have zero interest in taking care of you. Because they don't know how to take care of someone AND maintain a sense of self.

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These guys had zero coping mechanisms or hobbies. Because they never gave themselves the time or energy to develop them.

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Because if they did, they wouldn't need you so badly.

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It made me realize I needed someone who is really good at taking care of themselves.

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All of the divorced guys I've been with were cheated on by their ex-wives. Which means they were all hurting.

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And here ~I~ come in and I'm all HEY LET'S GO ON AN ADVENTURE AND HAVE SEX EIGHT TIMES A DAY and dudes are like omg this is GREAT. YOU'RE FUN. AND NOT AT ALL LIKE THE EX-WIFE WHO DISLIKED ME SO INTENSELY SHE USED LEGAL FORCE TO GET ME OUT OF HER LIFE.

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It feels good to be needed. It feels good to be told "you're the only fun thing in my life right now."

^actual quote from dude I used to date

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At first.

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But then the pressure sets in. When you're the only fun thing in someone's life, you feel the pressure to be "on" 99% of the time.

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You can't talk about your problems. You can't complain about anything. And you definitely can't cry in front of them.

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And that's not how relationships work. You don't give everything to your partner and just let them coast. You need to be supported emotionally by them sometimes, too.

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So farewell, daddies. It was good that I dated y'all. You taught me a lot about myself and what I deserve.