A REBELLIOUS DISCIPLE: It happened in the forties that one
Sivatantrananda, a Sannyasin disciple, was doing much useful work in the
Ashram. He was a graduate, young and intelligent, but had the weakness of
a puffed-up ego. The Master gave him, as he gave to other good workers, a
cup of the best curd, several kinds of fruits and assorted cooked
vegetables everyday. But this only thickened the disciple's egoism. He
began to argue with the Master and contradict him on every matter, but the
Master showered more love upon him and gave no indication of disapproval
or dissatisfaction. This emboldened the wayward disciple still further.

As the secretary of a special donation committee, Sivatantrananda came to
have in his possession donations amounting to about Rs. 1,000. The
Master, with trust in his disciple, had signed several proceedings of the
committee without scrutinizing the contents. After it was found that the
committee had authorized Sivatantrananda as its secretary, to call for
funds and be solely responsible for their safe custody; and that any
revocation of this rule required the meeting in one place of the committee
members scattered all over India.

The Master asked Sivatantrananda to hand over the records to the Ashram
Secretary.

"Swamiji," said the young man, "the Sivananda Ashram or its present
officials have no connection with the special committee records. If the
records are to be handed over to them, I want the authorization of all the
committee members."

The Master thought this to be due to the usual arguing mentality of
Sivatantrananda. The next day he advised him a second time to hand over
the records. But the disciple still maintained that the Master had no
powers to ask him to do so. This happened on October 22, 1946.

At the night Satsang, after the Bhajan was over, the Master thought aloud
thus: "Here is a disciple in this Ashram who takes full advantage of its
hospitality and nursing but feels derogatory to obey his Guru�s
instructions. Will Lord Viswanath allow him to continue in this
rebellious spirit?"

The next morning Sivatantrananda was not to be found. Talking about the
missing man's behaviour, the Master told some Ashram inmates, "I don't
require the services of such an impertinent and disobedient disciple. He
is neither useful to himself nor to God nor to society. Let me not see
him again."

A little later, Sivatantrananda reappeared, learnt of what took place in
his absence and went to the Master to explain.

"It is superfluous to listen to you any more," said the Master. "You may
do as you please."

Time passed. On November 3, 1946, the Master ascertained the whereabouts
of his erring disciple and sent him Rs. 25 and a letter: "My dear
Sivatantrananda whatever may be your differences with me, I hope that you
will not commit the mistake of returning home to South India. You may
find some suitable residence either in Rishikesh or higher up Ananda Kutir
on the banks of the holy Ganges and stick to the path of renunciation. Be
firm in your Sannyas Dharma." Such was the Master's heart!

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"Egoism is your enemy. Humility is the enemy of egoism. Therefore, make
friendship with humility and kill egoism." - Swami Sivananda

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