I would love to be able to be 100% wrong at my job. every day. and still have a job. Hey weather person, ITS 100% RAINING. RIGHT NOW. AND IT 100% RAINED AT 6:00 TOO. Get your life together. I hate you and the fact that you don't have to know anything. I bet your best friend is a doctor.

People who use their cell phones on a plane... when the plane people CLEARLY say not to.

Are you REALLY that important that you cant separate yourself from your super important social networks for 1 hour, that you have to endanger everyone else on the plane. God FORBID you have to have an actual face to face conversation with someone. We have enough issues in this world with plane security and all that crap, we don't need you contributing to any issues, whether phones signals matter or not.

...parents who name their kids after fucking fruits, colors, and other things that are so fucking "original" that they use dashes, numbers, and symbols to let the world know that there is a new kid on the block to mock.

Side note.... if you are gona name your kid Apple, it is gona hate you, and hate fruit, becoming obese.. and its all your fault because you thought you were UNIQUE. also, do not name your child UNIQUE. you are just asking for them to be an asshole.

side note part 2... another reason you shouldnt be a dick when naming ur kid.. is when you decide to be super cliche and get the kids name tattooed on your back, foot, and/or other obvious choice to attempt to label yourself as a "great parent".. you will have a lot of explaining to do when the word "Lemmonjello 8/12/13" is inscribed on your bicep.

I may have writen this when I was drunk... i took the liberty of correcting the spelling so you could actually understand it..

Oh em gee call the WAAAHHMMBULAANNCCEE... no one has EVER experienced any kind of the SLIGHT discomfort you are currently experiencing... the official law enforcement MUST be called in order to alert the proper authorities. you are clearly the MOST important person i the world, and the earth revolved around all of your simple problems. Please keep bitching about having to work, clean, live etc.

SHUT IT. IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE. YOU ARE AMONG THE LUCKY FEW WHO CAN BITCH ABOUT SHIT THAT ONE ONE CARES ABOUT. Get over it and move the fuck on. You are the reason the rest of the world hates the USA. eat shit.

but any other time, last time I checked, the team's colors are red white and blue, and that does not need to be altered to match your eye shadow or to make you “feel cute.” Do you even know what a touchdown is? because im guessing you just wait and see when other people cheer or get mad, so that YOU know when to cheer or get mad.

Go home, burn that awful excuse for team apparel, and cook something for your man if you feel the need… but that’s only making your position in the kitchen more dominant, making any self-respecting female hate you that much more because you can’t do anything involving anything important. Great job dumbass. way to encourage the stereotype.

People (including guys, who I'm assuming is your main audience you are attempting to attract with these repeat offences) tend to get sick slash bored of you posting the same pose of you trying to look like you're not trying to be cute. Might as well duck face it.

Guys will never notice if you put an extra curl in your hair, or brush it 16 more times. They will not know if you did a smoky eye or some other stupid eye shadow style.. they do not care if you wear the blue shirt or the red one.

THEY DO NOT CARE. THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON HALF THE TIME AS IT IS.

Let’s be honest… it’s not even the guys you are trying to impress most of the time. It’s other women. WHY? Why do women care so much about trying to impress slash piss off other women with how good they think they look?

I'm gona go philosophical for a minute. We need to stop hating on each other and tearing each other down – society does that enough for us, we don’t need to encourage it.

Prove me wrong. I dare you to give a woman a compliment today. Half the ladies that “like” this are the culprits… and many others will not even bother because they don’t wanna be called out.

people who KNOW they have to merge... but they wait.. and wait... and then even after the official MERGE lane has come and gone, they fucking ride on the shoulder to pass all of the merge law abiding motorists who are now waiting in traffic... like they are something fucking special... and theeennn they put on their blinker once they have passed everyone else waiting for assholes like them to merge in.. causing a fucking asshole mess. if you ever see some random car that's half in a lane, and half stuck out into the shoulder.. THATS ME ASSHOLE. I AM THE ONE WHOS STOPPING YOU FROM CONTINUING IN YOUR ASSHOLE WAYS. you are welcome.