Writer's Retreats are an integral part of the Feral Writers' plan for
literary domination. Located at the secret hideout cottage in Gunn Lake,
the Feral Writers spend long weekends immersed in their art and
contemplating life, literature and the social, cultural and biological
implications of squeeze cheese.

"I wrote 800,000 words." -Mer
"She did Nano for the next 16 years." -Julie W.
"It's Encyclopedia Mer-tannica." -Eric
"Can you imagine that? A - Aardvark: Aardvark's are coool. Anthropology
would be the rest of the A's. Then Azure: A pretty color. B- Boys: Still
icky." -Mer

"I'm not exactly happy about this. I knew exactly how big they were,
exactly how many seconds it took to suck through one of them." -Mer

On Microsoft Word...
"We use it so much we've become intimate with its flaws." - Lisa
"We anthropomorphize it." -Julie W.
"Bill Gates anthropomorphizes it! It has that little thing on the corner,
the little paperclip penis!" -Mer

"Oh my God! It's the end of civilization!" -Julie W.
"Why?" -MerHolds up box of Triscuits... "How lazy can you get? They're making
cheese cut to fit crackers!" -Julie W.
"The end of civilization often has to do with cheese." -Mer

"This shirt completes my artist ensemble. -Mer
"This is my t-shirt. It is a functional piece of cloth that conforms to
social norms." -Eric
"Women and men are different." -Mer

"'Gift giving can be an act of war in some societies... ask me how!'"
-Lisa speaking as Mer

"Not only do I talk in my sleep, I have my own soundtrack." -Lisa

"What did you say?" -Lisa
"Horsies." -Mer
"That's not what I heard." -Lisa
"What did you hear?" -Julie W.
"I'm not saying. You'll write it down." -Lisa

"She has more leverage." -Lou
"We all have equal leverage. They're called breasts." -Mer

"We could have a 'breast off'." -Mer
"Find out our peer group." -Lou
"That's going to make the drinking Saturday more interesting." -Julie W.
"Wait, did I talk about Julie W's breasts the last time [I was drunk]?"
-Mer
"Yes, you did. And you were very complimentary." -Julie W.

"I want to have John Stewart's babies." -- Julie W.
"Yes. That genetic material needs to be scattered to the four winds!" --
Julie D.

"I smell toast. Is somebody writing porn?" -Lisa

"She's doing it [killing him] to save the world!" -Lisa
"It's still first degree murder." -Julie D. first year law
student

Mer, coming in after talking to some people outside.
"The police want to talk to Eric."

"The satellite went out a few time, but that was okay, because we had
thirty hours of 'T.J. Hooker' on the TIVO." -Julie W.

Friday

After Mer asks if anyone is going to the store with her.
"Don't scare Elizabeth if she comes before we get back." -Julie W.
"I'm not going?" -Eric
"Oh. You didn't say anything when Mer asked, so I figured you were
staying. You know, silence is construed as consent... of not." -Julie
W.

"There's a little old man walking around next door." -Julie W.
"Does he have a pumpkin?" -Mer

"And we're all set if we want to burn our work." -Elizabeth
"I'm still planning to have my rejection party. Everyone will be welcome
to come and burn! Um, things..." -Mer

"Haha! I don't know what I'm 'haha'ing over." -Dave
"Because it's always better to be right and Eric be wrong." - Mer

"Beer goggles for literature." -Dave

"I want to write a book that makes me excited about writing again. Where
can I find one of those?" -Mer

"Why are we strong independent women doing this?" -Mer
"Because we're strong independent women?" -Julie W.
"Why are we not strong and independent enough to make the men do this?"
-Mer

"I think I might officially change my middle name to 'petty'." -Mer

"When they say 'open lid during lighting' [the grill], they are not
kidding about that." -Mer

"You know, Dave and Elizabeth are never going to come back at this rate."
-Julie W.
"Because we'll be dead." -Elizabeth

Saturday

"I can eat nuts if need be." -Julie D.

"God, I hate hanging out with people who know me." -Mer

On Writer's Retreat.
"It's a good idea." -Elizabeth
"It'd be even better if I stopped talking." - Mer

At dinner.
"I can smell the opacity!" -Mer

Still at dinner.
"Have you seen 'Signs'."? -Julie D.
"No, but I'll do anything I can to get out of this conversation, so I'll
go watch it right now." -Mer

Saturday Night Drunkeness

"Julie, can I have some cheap wine?" -Mer
"Sure." -Julie W.
"Where is it? Which fridge?" -Mer
"The one you're standing next to." -Julie W.
"The one with the screw top?" - Mer, opening the fridge
"I told you it was cheap." -Julie W.
"It's Riunite. I can't drink this!" - Mer

"Okay, we can't get drunk on the internet. That'd be just lame." -Mer

Posting to LJ.
"Dira, you will be entertained to know that I have drunk a whole bottle of
wine, yet I am still not as drunk as Mer or Julie D." -Julie W.

"He's cute; not in the 'binge-drink and I'm going to rape somebody' way."
-Julie D.

"Shut up! You may not be my conscience." -Mer to Dave

"I had a dream that made me think about you, Mer." -Julie D.
"Uh oh." -Dave

"I was just so confused why my legs weren't working." -Julie D.

"At least he's [Brandon] way bigger in something." -Julie D.

Tony, age one and a half, babbles something that sounds disturbingly
like "buttfucker."
"I don't think I can repeat what it sounded like he just said." -Tari
"Oh, he's been talking to Aunt Lou." -Julie D.

"Now I just need to write some science fiction erotica." -Dave
"Hot." -Jay

"Ooo, I just added a comma with my head!" -Julie D.

"Is he supposed to think of him as his torturer? His captor? Oh captor my
captor?" -Julie D.