New iTunes will have "social" features?
Revolutionary! You'll be able to share the names of artists, songs, TV shows, and movies that you like. Wait, you thought I meant you'd be able to share the actual media?! HAHAHHA! Whooo! *snort* HA! Teehee! Guffaw. Oh ... THAT'S a good one! You are a cut-up!

Blockbuster going bankrupt?
They're just doing it to try to look cool. Joke's on them, declaring bankruptcy isn't as cool as it used to be. Like when all the banks were doing it!

Apple iTV a sure thing; will cost $99?
Yeah, sure! This, coming from Kevin "I drink a lot of tea, make poop jokes on a highly successful podcast and, even though I'm the same age as Jeff Somogyi, own several successful web companies, make more money than I can count, know a lot of important people, get invited to fancy dinners ..." Um ... where was I going with this?

Jeff Somogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. Do not pitty him! He gets paid to write comedy and record podcasts for a living. Lucky so-and-so. Read more of his comedy-for-hire @dzheough on Twitter.

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