All you Harriers/Mallards/Kestrels sing and shout it, never any doubt about it,
If your land-bound image you would lose.
If your nerves are never-failing, and you want to come a-sailing,
Harriers/Mallards/Kestrels is the perfect cruise.

Mrs. B does all the cooking, food was never better looking,
Egon Ronay takes a second glance.
When the surplus Harriers/Mallards/Kestrels porridge lines the river beds at Norwich,
River weed just doesn't stand a chance.

Skippers filled with nervous tension, glance around with apprehension,
They have sailed with JB/Alan once before.
Soon their nerves will cease to stand it, and together they'll demand it,
......... must be our Commodore.

Skippers, when you first set eyes on that nice bridge on the horizon,
Please remember that you have a mast.
Else when you are blandly peering at that feat of engineering,
It may lower itself a little too fast.

When on water's wide expanses don't take any foolish chances,
Other craft may head towards you now.
While you're idly speculating on the beat course to be taking,
You may find you've lost your starboard bow.

Cruiser men with looks of worry into banks all seem to hurry,
When confronted by our gallant crews.
Boatyard owners look frustrated, one by one they've calculated,
Just how many boats they stand to lose.

All you Harriers/Mallards/Kestrels sing and shout it, never any doubt about it,
If your land-bound image you would lose.
If your nerves are never-failing, and you want to come a-sailing,
Harriers/Mallards/Kestrels is the perfect cruise.

The authors of this page would like to make it clear they are in no way responsible for any injury or illness resulting from viewing this page, including but not limited to: Weil's disease, swamp elbow, Boughton's rot, quanter's spleen, wherryman's waffle, flu, and aardvarks. Especially aardvarks. Aardvarks have been around for thousands of years. We think. Well anyway it's a long time. So there's no way we could have been responsible for the development of a species that originated well before we were even conceived. Think sensibly, man.