Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

There seems to be a new theme here in the blog: costumes. We've had a few before, but nothing that would come close to competing with the snake theme, the hurricane theme or the severed penis theme. Two in one day definitely gives the costume theme a push toward prominence. Personally, I like it. I say more costume stories, down with the snakes!

Stnbelle, try a vampire. all you really need is make-up, fangs, and a black cape.
Or you could do like my parents used to do, dress us up like bums. Old clothes, eyebrow pencil beards. Gypsy was popular too, since it just required old earrings, a skirt and a bandana or wig.

So, do they have a criminal charge of "toilet harassment" in British Columbia? If the kid in the penis costume got charged with "sexual harassment" it only makes sense (?) that this would be the direction in which the courts should ... go ... (har?)

Costume idea: Wrap the kid in Saran Wrap (TM) and send him as a condom ... (that's supposedly what we used to to, at a certain age, when we din't have the guts/hair/balls to actually go into the local drug store [where everyone knew who you were] and buy the actual product ...

If that's not quite what you're looking for, how about wrapping him in brown paper and sending him as "adult toys" ...

No?

Wrap him in gauze bandages and send him as a mummy ... my granddaughter actually had this for a costume once ... (takes quite a few, but he's only young once ... right?)

For any costume that requires a cape, just use felt or a knit fabric; they don't need hemming, as they won't fray or run when you cut them to size.

You can make a decent dog or other animal costume out of appropriate-colored sweatpants & hooded sweatshirt; just use a hot glue gun to attach ears (and maybe a tail). Spots can be put on with fabric paint, or if you'd like to be able to use the sweatsuit again, cut spots out of felt or knit fabric & attach with glue gun. When the costume's been worn for the last time as a costume, wash in hot water, which will dissolve & rinse away the glue, leaving you with the sweatsuit to use again. (Plus a bunch of felt scraps in the washer, but who's counting?)

You could also use the above method to make an alien or other monster. A scary face can be done quite cheaply with the commonly-available facepaint kits you find in all the stores this month . . . same for an animal face, really.

i'm snarky. i sent this one to ya yesterday dave. and i agree with all the posters. personally, all the politicians appear to be mr floatie to me. . . . [not that i would be seeking any credit you understand....]]

Here's an easy costume for a kid, provided you have a good printer on your computer. Put him/her in a suit (or a suit jacket and jeans) make the kid a photo ID badge with appropriate labels downloaded from the Internet, a VIOLA! An IRS agent. Truly one of America's scariest creatures. On their trick-or-treat bag, write "Trick, Treat of Audit". OR - in keeping with the blog thread, put the kid in hospital scrubs, stick a latex glove in his/her shirt pocket, make a medical photo ID, and send the kid out as a proctologist. "Trick, Treat or Exam"!

I've got a costume for you--get a few of those individual-sized cereal boxes and attach them to your shirt--chuck a plastic knife in each of them and coila--you are a cereal killer--get it? "serial" killer? Oh, nevermind...

I knew a woman who strapped the heads of two male mannequins to her chest, so they looked backward over her shoulders, then wrapped a sheet around them and herself. She went to a party as a "Menage en Trois". (Pardon my French, I have no idea if that is spelled correctly)

Well, if Mr. Flotie can't run, I want to nominate a telemarketer named Michael Holden. He called me today. How did I know he was a telemarketer? Because the Caller ID said some financing company. OK, so this guy calls and asks if he can speak to Mr. or Mrs. Mylastname (which is Hutchings, but I wanna stay semi-anonymous on this blog, k?). And I say, "Who is calling?", and he says, "Michael Holden".

So I say, "as in Michael Holden his oosik?" except I didn't say "oosik". Instead I used the dick-word. He was shocked, awkwardly said goodbye, and I am hoping soon afterward either spilled a hot pot of coffee down his pants or walked in front of a bus.

Talk about a bad name for a telemarketer!! But a perfect name for a politician.

Sunny- That is the sickest thing I have read in a while.
You have to admire that.
Also, if Mr. Poopie "runs" that town is going to have a mess oon its hands, but I guess, as long as the soap dispenser isn't empty..

And finally, to paraphrase P.J. O'Rourke, "when are the political parties going to adopt more honest symbols, like a snake, or money with wings, or a stopped up toilet....?"

My son always wanted me to make costumes that were kinda difficult-anybody want a praying mantis costume(used once!), also a lobster, but we added a lobster character to the school play that year so at least he wore it twice. My daughter is easy-princess, ballerina, or kitty (or combination). I better keep my son away from the computer today or he'll want a Mr. Floatie costume too!

Ooh, I forgot to mention my favorite easy costume-I had a friend who went as "apostrophe S". All he did was make a cardboard apostrophe and tape it to a headband, then drew the letter "s" on a white t-shirt.

Just a costume idea:
Get two people and dress one completely in black and one completely in white. get two clear garbage bags and cut arm and a head hole in each. put them on the two people. Make a hat for each out of tin foil and place a construction paper "s" on the one in white and a "P" on the one in black and then you have a set of matching salt a pepper shakers...