When your child acts up, the best way to nip the behavior in the bud is often to remove him from the activity at hand and give him a chance to calm down. This technique, known as a time-out, is an effective, nonviolent way to shape behavior. Here are the keys to a successful time-out:

Understand what a time-out is – and isn't

A time-out isn't a punishment. It's an opportunity for your child to learn how to cope with frustration and modify his behavior. While your child is in a time-out, he's on his own, so try to let him sit in solitude for a few moments. Any attention from you – positive or negative – only reinforces unwanted behavior.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says it's okay to give children as young as 1 a time-out – but it's best only as a last resort. Until he's a little older, your child won't have the self-control and reasoning skills to make a traditional time-out effective. Instead, think of a time-out as the "quiet time" your toddler needs to calm down and get his emotions under control.

The AAP says that to make a time-out work for your 12- to 24-month-old, it's important to act immediately (while the unwanted behavior is happening) and tell him calmly in no more than 10 words why he has to sit down and be still. Then reward him with positive attention as soon as he calms down, rather than after sitting for a certain period of time.

And make sure you're giving time-outs for the right reasons. Reserve time-outs for things like hitting or continuing to disobey. Then be consistent whenever your child breaks the rules.

If your toddler is whining, crying, or sulking, he doesn't need a time-out – he's probably feeling frustrated or disappointed. In that case, the best thing is to sit down with him and find out what's wrong. And remember that toddlers are naturally curious and like to explore and touch. So if you keep breakables within reach, don't be surprised to hear the occasional crash.

Sometimes a little quiet time alone is all your child needs to switch gears and calm down. (If you step aside and take a deep breath, you can do the same instead of getting caught up in his struggle.) What's helpful about a time-out is that it can defuse and redirect an escalating situation in an unemotional way. It lets you teach your child without setting a negative example, the way yelling or hitting does.

Two common mistakes parents make when giving time-outs are talking too much and getting upset or angry. Make your explanation immediate, brief, and calm. Use direct eye contact and be firm.

When the time-out is over, give your child a hug. A sign of affection demonstrates that he's still worthy of your love even though his behavior is unacceptable.

Make sure your child is old enough for a formal time-out

Toddlers find it hard to sit still, so trying to make your little one stay in a one place for a certain period of time can easily disintegrate into a chase scene.

Here's what happens: Your child runs away from her time-out spot. You catch her and then struggle to make her stay in one place.

You threaten, she laughs, delighted with this new game – or cries, frustrated by the requirement. You grab; she bolts.

Meanwhile, because she has a short attention span, your toddler forgets why you wanted her to sit still in the first place. Instead of helping your child regain her self-control, you find yourself in a power struggle.

That's the reason traditional time-outs are not likely to work until sometime between your toddler's second and third birthdays.

Watch for signs that he understands what's acceptable and what's not. One clue is if he reminds you of the rules when you break them, too. For example, if he catches you doing something you normally wouldn't allow him to do – say, eating a snack on the sofa – he may say, "You're not supposed to do that, Mommy."

Until your toddler can appreciate the need to follow rules, limit the use of time-outs. Otherwise she won't understand why she's being corrected, and you may get frustrated and abandon the strategy prematurely.

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