Given today’s rising levels of childhood obesity, social mistrust and widespread middle-class paranoia about the world beyond the front door, it’s possible you won’t get any carollers calling at your dwellings this Yuletide, resulting a distinct lack of comfort, joy and good King ruddy Wenceslas.

That being the case, we can only thank God that Hate Eternal’s bass player, the intimidatingly-named J.J. Hrubovcak, has put together an album of death metal Christmas covers. If only people still bought CDs, he’d have been onto a bloody lucrative stocking filler…

But wait! Before you click the back button in disgust, it’s worth a listen. Here, on the first track of the very to-the-pointly-titled Death Metal Christmas – Hellish Renditions Of Christmas Classics, you can enjoy a credibly riff-salady version of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’:

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See? Carols can be fun, can’t they? If you’re off home to see Mum and Dad this Chrimbo and just can’t say no to their pleas of ‘Oh, come on – it’s only once a year, let’s go and have a sing at the Cathedral, just for your nan’s sake…’ you could do far worse than sticking this on headphones throughout the service and mentally undressing half the congregation, now couldn’t you?