Cancer

It can be terrifying to see a friend or loved one go through a battle with cancer. I currently have two friends who are dealing with this beast. My Aunt lost both of her breasts to cancer and my Grandfather lost his life as well. Being a survivor of cancer is not just about the people that have it, but also the people that go through the experience with those who are attacked by it. If the experience of being there for someone who has cancer is scary for you just imagine how incredibly haunting it must be for those who have to fight it.

Amazingly all of the folks that I have known to acquire cancer showed a strength that even I found it difficult to grasp watching them go through it. One way to help achieve balance in your personal life when things begin to get a bit rough with a loved one who has cancer is to be able to help them in any way that you can. The following list is fifteen suggestions on how to help those who are in this war and to also help yourself through this often traumatizing experience. By all means if any of you readers out there would like to add to this list, feel free to do so in the comments below. Your input is so very valuable and helpful to all of those who are affected by this monster we call cancer.

1. Ask. The number one thing you can do first is to ask what it is that might be needed. If you can do this, you are off to a great start.

2. Offer. No matter what the need is, it is often difficult for those who have cancer to ask for help. Offer up everything that you are capable of doing. This will make the load much lighter and feel like less of a burden for your loved one.

3. Deliver A Meal. Find out what your loved one likes, if you do not know all ready, and deliver a meal to the home. Inner strength and physical strengths are lacking at this time. Cooking takes effort that may not be there.

4. Send An Email Or Text. Reach out to your friend and let him or her know that you are thinking of them. Just saying “I love you,” means the world and you can end it with, “No need to respond,” or “Take your time we are here for you.” It is a relief to know that someone is thinking of you without the need to do anything in return.

5. Walk Their Pet. During this time your loved one most likely will not know up from down. Offer to take their pet for a walk, apply flea treatment, a trip to the vet, the groomers, basically whatever their pet needs should be approached as a possibility.

6. Suggest A Visit. Your friend may not be up to it, but if he or she is, offer to stop by and visit for awhile and ask if you can bring anything by.

7. Be On Call. Let your friend know that you are here for them no matter what. Check in with your work and let your boss know that you are on call for a friend who is battling cancer. If the phone rings you will be there for him or her and mean it.

8. Offer A Ride. This is so important. Doctors will not allow patients to leave their care under these grueling circumstances if they have to drive themselves home. Offer to take your friend to their treatment sessions and stay with them if at all possible.

9. Send Flowers. Making sure first there are no allergies at hand, sending flowers or a gift is a sure way to brighten someone’s day.

10. Gift A Good Book. Now is the time for inspiration! Find out if there is a particular movie or book that your friend or family member has been wanting to read and purchase it for them. If money is tight, check it out from the library when available.

11. Offer to be a “Point Person.” This is a job that allows you to field all incoming calls and mail. It may be too challenging for your friend to receive all of the incoming mail and concerns. This will help your friend tremendously.

12. Does Your Friend Have Kids? Offer to babysit or stand in to cook meals and help around the house. Your help will be immensely appreciated.

13. Gift A Hat A Wig Or A Scarf. Find out what your friend or loved one likes and gift them something to cover their head. Looking through a catalog together can also be fun. I had a great time picking out wigs with a friend and also looking through a catalog with my Aunt.

14. Gardening. If your friend has a garden or landscaping to keep up, this is a giant help to him or her. Nothing is more depressing than to see your garden go to weeds. Offer to help keep it up and maybe you can even work on it together. Being in nature is so very healing.

15. Just Listen. Be there to listen to whatever they need. A shoulder to cry on, or just to complain about the pain. Whatever it may be that is needed to be heard, be that ear and soundboard. You will be appreciated more than you could ever possibly know.