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Saturday, July 9, 2011

Cuckold Caution

I have received several emails (while off-line) asking me about cuckolding. There seems to be, and rightfully so, a great deal of concern about the effects, or consequences, it might have on a relationship.

In general, cuckolding can be very destructive to a relationship. I'm not saying that it is (or will be) destructive to every relationship, but of all the activities centered around tease and denial, or male chastity, it has the greatest potential to destroy a relationship more than any other singe activity.

Many submissive men involved in male chastity have fantasies about their spouse (be it Mistress, girlfriend, or what have you) making love to another man while they are forced to watch, or even participate on various levels. Those fantasies can turn into nightmares when they become reality. For a small percentage of couples, cuckolding works, even enhances a relationship. However, in most cases, the green-eyed monster (jealousy) rears its ugly head and, before you know it, someone gets hurt.

So, your guy talked you into practicing in male chastity and some tease and denial. It has all been going so well (lots of fun for the both of you), until he told you that he wants to watch another man make love to you. Regardless of how you feel about it, he has just expressed his fantasy to be cuckolded. Once you get passed the initial shock, what do you do?

Here are a few things that can go wrong:

He may love the idea, but become very jealous once his fantasy becomes reality.

He may enjoy it for awhile, but grow angry when he sees you enjoying another man.

He may withdraw with feelings of having been betrayed by the woman be loves.

Any of these things could ruin an otherwise wonderful relationship. So what can you do to satisfy his fantasies without destroying your relationship?

First of all, and I cannot emphasize this enough, take it SLOW! Don't rush right out and find a guy who is willing take part in your partner's fantasies. I suggest that you build his fantasies during teasing sessions. Tease him mentally by telling him you have been thinking about making his fantasies come true. Talk seriously about it with him. Not just once, but many times. Find out exactly what kind of cuckolding he would accept. That is, does he want to be forced to watch, maybe even participate, or would he want you to date other guys while he sits at home wondering what you are doing and with whom? An “out of sight” type of cuckolding may not seem as bad, but leaving everything to his imagination can end up being just as destructive. So proceed with caution.

If you have decided to go ahead and experiment with cuckolding, I suggest you fake it the first time or two. By that I mean, go out while he sits at home. Tell him you are going on a date with some other guy, but don't actually do it. Go to your mother's and pay her some attention for a change. (She will probably appreciate the visit.) When you return home, you can tell him what a wonderful time you had on your “date”. If he then decides he can't handle it, you can tell him the truth and even provide a witness to attest to the fact that you did not have sex with another man.

If he is okay with your story, then you can move on to the next level and actually go on a date. Of course, I would suggest you NOT have sex on this date either. You can simply have dinner or a few drinks, but you don't want to do anything that might damage your relationship. In other words, proceed slowly! Just because your partner seems okay with everything so far, does not mean that his negative feelings won't catch up with him after a few days (or even weeks).

I strongly recommend, no matter what type of cuckolding you are doing, that you be ready to quit cold turkey if anything goes wrong. It's always better to be prepared for the worst than push-on when things get rough.

In most cases, the chaste male is more likely to be better off keeping cuckolding fantasies as fantasy than reality. You can use his fantasies any time you tease and deny him. You can use them when you want him to behave, either as a threat or as a promise. Just be prepared for the worst if you decide to try it for real.

I found that Portugal is in fact the most racist place on earth; especially toward African blacks! It's as if they have never seen a black person before and the Portugee culture is not only backwards (as if you steped in a time machine and went to the year 1899) but the citizens where exceptionally ignorant. It was as if you were talking to a wall rather than a human being. The Portugee also seemed to be trapped in another dimension of space and time because they kept on talking and mumbling about the past rather than the present...it was pretty funny actually. I found this website that offers a Dr.'s opinion about the racism in Portugal and why the xenophobic culture is not just promoted within but exported as well to everywhere else they may be living. Strange since i've never heard of racism being described that way before?? Portugal seem to be experts in racism, especially in Canada and the U.S.

Hello to all of you. I have been lurking. If I disagree with or try to refute your position I mean no disrespect, please bear with me.

Picture a happily married couple. They think a lot about each other-at work, at home, when travelling. They have kids and/or social activities in common. They respect each other, and their life-long commitment. They are special to each other.

See them at a quiet dinner together. They talk about a lot of little nothings, smile at each other a lot, they plan to go home and enjoy each other's companionship. Maybe the will have sweet and passionate loving later tonight. Maybe not. The musicians come up, the couple requests a song, and as the song is played for them they are transfixed by the moment and their love for each other.

Now what if after a couple years of what started as an AHF marriage, the married couple you see in the restaurant is not a married couple but a cuckoldress and her stud-toy. The man who previously had her respect and her tenderest affections is now little more than a domestic fetish slave . The tender feeling and special moments and respect she once showed to her husband are now given to another pretty much on the basis of his better looks and sexual prowess.

Why would a man who really loves his wife and has a special relationship with her risk the loss of such a special thing? Why would an intelligent and caring women allow such a thing to happen to what was once he most cherished relationship? Perhaps the answer lies in the powerful biochemical conditions that accompany good sex. Perhps a common theme when cuckolding goes wrong in a good marriage is the transfer of positive emotions from spouse to the new lover? Perhaps some of it is the result of unrestrained slavishness meeting up with hedonism taken unto selfishness. Can a great thing like submission and service be taken far enough to cause a lady to disregard or even discard a person who was once the most special person in her life?

Of course it doesnt have to be the negative way I depicted. I may not have occured to all who read this but a women having sex beyond her spouse need not accompany any othe form of sexual fetish or fantasy. Cuckolding does not necessarily exist in conjunction with Female authority. Nor female disdain. Nor male abdication.

No doubt there are some great cuckold marriages out there, based on a man's selfless concern for his wife pleasure and her cherised acceptance of his relational and sexual subservience to her.

So much of what is said and posted on the web is based on extreme stereotypical male fantasies it is easy to overlook that some men cherish the friendship and respect of their wife above all else. Even extreme sexual fulfillment and an exciting submissive fantasy come true.

Such a man would defintely be insecure and unhappy after a powerful cuckolding was given to him or shared by him. It is not necessarily the fear of losing his marital status. it is sadness, fear, and emotional trauma that he may never have that special love again.

Perhaps a wise man will realize it is cruel and unfair to open the door to new sexual bliss and then ask his wife to close it. Perhaps a wise woman will see that to really be cruel to another emotionally is not different than criminal physical torture and kills part of her humanity if and when she does it.

But best of all perhaps a wise women can toy with her spouse's inadequacies in the sexual arena while building him up in the rest of his psyche because she cherishes his special surrender to her. Vic V in SD AKA OldBearSwitch

My wife said to me, "Don’t be nervous. My love for you is unconditional. I know you can’t help it. You are who you are. So if you believe being a cuckold epitomizes your inner self. If you know it defines you. You should accept it. You should be proud of it. Your declaration will be the ultimate act of liberation. I promise to enable your every need. I’ll honor and support your proclamation as a symbol of commitment to our relationship and my love will expand in ways you can’t imagine." -FH