So very very rotted (long vent i guess)

Hey there everyone. I was just looking for a place to vent about my DF. Lately it seems like I can't do much right. I mean I'm 26 weeks pregnant, so yes I'm going to be tired and I'm going to have mood swings but for gods sake the way that he is acting is ridiculous!

I guess it would be better if I fill you guys in.... It all started with me trying to get everything clean so we could have a few people over to our house for a game of cards or whatever. So I did not one, two or three loads of laundry but FIVE. And he couldn't help me fold it??? UGHHHH Also ... the kitty litter I mean the doctor has told both of us that I can't be changing it so I asked him to do it. I know he has a weak stomach but... oh my the mess! I'd sooner go out and get one of those mask things to wear and do it myself! Which might I add ALWAYS ends up happening?? I mean how is he supposed to change a baby diaper?! Dishes... welll don't be getting me started! It only took him about three days to do this batch of dishes, my back hurts so bad its hard to remain standing up long enough to take care of them.

And ladies this is just the tip of the iceberg! We have to move house YET AGAIN because our landlord won't come fix the leaks in our ceiling... (after only being here two months) andd we can't move until after the winter but I can't see how we are going to afford it then either because it will be so close to the baby being here.

The darn christmas tree is still up because I don't really have the energy to be taking it down. And DF has been saying that he was going to take it down since the begining of the week.

Then the other day DF askes me to get him a doctors appointment... I was like okay not a problem. Only thing is our doctor is booked up until next week with appointments...and since I didn't know DF's work schedule for next week I couldn't really make one seeing I didn't want the doctors appointment to interfere with his work schedule. Espically seeing I have tried so hard to get him to keep going to work...(he never seems to want to go anymore... but hey neither do I and I still go!) Well this morning was the worst its been in a while. His neck was bothering him from where he was in a car accident a few months ago and he's not started his physio yet... (that starts next week) but I mean obviously if you lie a certain way and pop pain killers like they are going to go out of style then yeahh nothing is going to make it feel better! He was acting as if it was MY fault that he didn't have any pain killers left to take and that its MY fault that he has to go to work for 8 hours while I get to (according to him) "sit on my ass and be online all day". WELLL have I got news for him! He's always online when he gets home from work and we don't even have any conversations with each other anymore. I only come online when I have most of the stuff done that I need to get done or when I'm just too tired to keep going with the regular pace of things.

To make matters worse... he is smoking more pot than usual lately. He promised me that he was going to give it up. (lies!) I just can't take it anymore. The only time he doesn't do it now is if my parents or his parents are comming over. What on earth am I supposed to do??? I mean he was the one who told me that he was going to stop before the baby gets here. Not me asking him to. I mean I try and support his not smoking as much as I can but... I can't watch him 24 hours a day.

And thats like the other night was supposed to be date night... (after work) and nope when he came home he went on his computer and his buddy (who lives next door and is ALWAYS here) came over AGAIN and they were loud and they smoked pot and they ate pizza together. What did I do you ask?? I went in the room and tried to hide my tears. It may sound silly but I was looking forward to date night. We never do anything as a couple anymore except sleep and go grocery shopping... so naturally it made me want to cry. He didn't come to bed until 3am this morning. He had to work at noon, he wonders why he's tired when he gets up... its certainly not caused by me.

Some days he's just so sweet... but lately oh my god all I want to do is lock myself in my room and cry my eyes out. Is this what its going to be like for the rest of our lives??? If it is I think I want out. I mean I can't handle it. What if he doesn't quit smoking and he does it around our son when he arrives?? What if he is always on his computer??? What am I to do?? I mean I'm 21 years old and he's 24 going on 25.. shouldn't he see that what he's doing is hurting me?

Sorry for this being so long ladies... I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

~Jenn

Hey there everyone. I was just looking for a place to vent about my DF. Lately it seems like I can't do much right. I mean I'm 26 weeks pregnant, so yes I'm going to be tired and I'm going to have mood swings but for gods sake the way that he is acting is ridiculous!

I guess it would be better if I fill you guys in.... It all started with me trying to get everything clean so we could have a few people over to our house for a game of cards or whatever. So I did not one, two or three loads of laundry but FIVE. And he couldn't help me fold it??? UGHHHH Also ... the kitty litter I mean the doctor has told both of us that I can't be changing it so I asked him to do it. I know he has a weak stomach but... oh my the mess! I'd sooner go out and get one of those mask things to wear and do it myself! Which might I add ALWAYS ends up happening?? I mean how is he supposed to change a baby diaper?! Dishes... welll don't be getting me started! It only took him about three days to do this batch of dishes, my back hurts so bad its hard to remain standing up long enough to take care of them.

And ladies this is just the tip of the iceberg! We have to move house YET AGAIN because our landlord won't come fix the leaks in our ceiling... (after only being here two months) andd we can't move until after the winter but I can't see how we are going to afford it then either because it will be so close to the baby being here.

The darn christmas tree is still up because I don't really have the energy to be taking it down. And DF has been saying that he was going to take it down since the begining of the week.

Then the other day DF askes me to get him a doctors appointment... I was like okay not a problem. Only thing is our doctor is booked up until next week with appointments...and since I didn't know DF's work schedule for next week I couldn't really make one seeing I didn't want the doctors appointment to interfere with his work schedule. Espically seeing I have tried so hard to get him to keep going to work...(he never seems to want to go anymore... but hey neither do I and I still go!) Well this morning was the worst its been in a while. His neck was bothering him from where he was in a car accident a few months ago and he's not started his physio yet... (that starts next week) but I mean obviously if you lie a certain way and pop pain killers like they are going to go out of style then yeahh nothing is going to make it feel better! He was acting as if it was MY fault that he didn't have any pain killers left to take and that its MY fault that he has to go to work for 8 hours while I get to (according to him) "sit on my ass and be online all day". WELLL have I got news for him! He's always online when he gets home from work and we don't even have any conversations with each other anymore. I only come online when I have most of the stuff done that I need to get done or when I'm just too tired to keep going with the regular pace of things.

To make matters worse... he is smoking more pot than usual lately. He promised me that he was going to give it up. (lies!) I just can't take it anymore. The only time he doesn't do it now is if my parents or his parents are comming over. What on earth am I supposed to do??? I mean he was the one who told me that he was going to stop before the baby gets here. Not me asking him to. I mean I try and support his not smoking as much as I can but... I can't watch him 24 hours a day.

And thats like the other night was supposed to be date night... (after work) and nope when he came home he went on his computer and his buddy (who lives next door and is ALWAYS here) came over AGAIN and they were loud and they smoked pot and they ate pizza together. What did I do you ask?? I went in the room and tried to hide my tears. It may sound silly but I was looking forward to date night. We never do anything as a couple anymore except sleep and go grocery shopping... so naturally it made me want to cry. He didn't come to bed until 3am this morning. He had to work at noon, he wonders why he's tired when he gets up... its certainly not caused by me.

Some days he's just so sweet... but lately oh my god all I want to do is lock myself in my room and cry my eyes out. Is this what its going to be like for the rest of our lives??? If it is I think I want out. I mean I can't handle it. What if he doesn't quit smoking and he does it around our son when he arrives?? What if he is always on his computer??? What am I to do?? I mean I'm 21 years old and he's 24 going on 25.. shouldn't he see that what he's doing is hurting me?

Sorry for this being so long ladies... I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

he may be 24, but sounds to me like he has lots of growing up to do himself....the way he behaves I don't see him making that much of a good father, at least at first or at least not until he will be willing to make some major changes......

there is no reason why you should be doing some much of the household work being pregnant and having back pains......why can't he contribute? why doesn't he offer help?

look, if you still believe that you guys are soulmates, that you truly love one another and that you both want to make the relationship work....then perhaps it's time for a serious talk, without interruptions, in no hurry......you can't keep hiding your fears and worries inside you......

I've been married for almost 7 years now (and I am 36 wks preggo with our 1st), and what I consider most important in a successful long term relationship is open and honest communications, he is supposed to be your best friend, your true companion, your rock, your support system.....a good husband/boyfriend is the one who has YOUR best interest in mind and thinks of YOU before thinking of himself......only then can you tell that someone loves you for real

If you are trying to figure out whether you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, ask yourself the following questions:

1)on balance (or usually) how does he make me feel about myself and about life;

2) does he usually show love, affection, respect and sympathy towards me?

3) does he make me feel like a better person?

4) am I pround of him/do I respect him as a person and as a man? is he honest, loyal, compassionate, fundamentally decent, determined, hardworking, respectful towards others (you may consider some other characteristics important as well)

5) does he seem to care, meaning, if I am sad or if I worry, does he ask what's wrong, does he offer help;

6) do we share some fundamental believes on important issues (you don't have to agree on everything, but on certain things which you would not want to compromise on, we should agree on; and finally;

7) do I feel like I can be honest with him without being misunderstood or shut down; does he listen and is he willing to understand and see my side of things.

When things get tough is when you see the real person you are dealing with and that's how you know what the future will bring........there will be plenty of hard times in the future for all of us and it helps to share such times with someone who you can actually rely on...

good luck!

P.S. Try also focusing on your own health and that of your baby, I know that for me, that became the priority once I realized I was preggo

wow, you have every right and reason to feel upset, and angry

he may be 24, but sounds to me like he has lots of growing up to do himself....the way he behaves I don't see him making that much of a good father, at least at first or at least not until he will be willing to make some major changes......

there is no reason why you should be doing some much of the household work being pregnant and having back pains......why can't he contribute? why doesn't he offer help?

look, if you still believe that you guys are soulmates, that you truly love one another and that you both want to make the relationship work....then perhaps it's time for a serious talk, without interruptions, in no hurry......you can't keep hiding your fears and worries inside you......

I've been married for almost 7 years now (and I am 36 wks preggo with our 1st), and what I consider most important in a successful long term relationship is open and honest communications, he is supposed to be your best friend, your true companion, your rock, your support system.....a good husband/boyfriend is the one who has YOUR best interest in mind and thinks of YOU before thinking of himself......only then can you tell that someone loves you for real

If you are trying to figure out whether you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, ask yourself the following questions:

1)on balance (or usually) how does he make me feel about myself and about life;

2) does he usually show love, affection, respect and sympathy towards me?

3) does he make me feel like a better person?

4) am I pround of him/do I respect him as a person and as a man? is he honest, loyal, compassionate, fundamentally decent, determined, hardworking, respectful towards others (you may consider some other characteristics important as well)

5) does he seem to care, meaning, if I am sad or if I worry, does he ask what's wrong, does he offer help;

6) do we share some fundamental believes on important issues (you don't have to agree on everything, but on certain things which you would not want to compromise on, we should agree on; and finally;

7) do I feel like I can be honest with him without being misunderstood or shut down; does he listen and is he willing to understand and see my side of things.

When things get tough is when you see the real person you are dealing with and that's how you know what the future will bring........there will be plenty of hard times in the future for all of us and it helps to share such times with someone who you can actually rely on...

good luck!

P.S. Try also focusing on your own health and that of your baby, I know that for me, that became the priority once I realized I was preggo

He can't contribute because he plays video games and works... but hey I work too... so whats his excuse you may ask??? I have no idea. But when I came home today everything was clean.. I think he knows that I'm fed up with doing everything.

I don't think that he'll be talking civil to me after what I did today... okay so I overreacted to him blaming me for doing the rice wrong yet he's the one who put all that water in it not me. So I threw something at him and it hit his eye... it wasn't on purpose.. and trust me I apologized and said that I didn't mean to hurt him but he swore on me and I just came in here in our room and started listening to my music and read pages on the internet.

I'm thinking that I need some time away. Serious time away. Time where I only talk to him a few times while I'm gone. But I don't really have anywhere I can go so that I don't have to ask for more days off work and whatnot. I should have asked for this weekend off and went to where no one could get hold to me. Out in the sticks pretty much where the only way you can get online is through good old dialup and theres no stores or big cities for miles. Ughh if only I had my time back I would have but if wishes where horses then beggars would ride.

I think I just need time to cool off.

Thanks for your reply I'm going to take it to heart and do some serious thinking.

~Jenn

He can't contribute because he plays video games and works... but hey I work too... so whats his excuse you may ask??? I have no idea. But when I came home today everything was clean.. I think he knows that I'm fed up with doing everything.

I don't think that he'll be talking civil to me after what I did today... okay so I overreacted to him blaming me for doing the rice wrong yet he's the one who put all that water in it not me. So I threw something at him and it hit his eye... it wasn't on purpose.. and trust me I apologized and said that I didn't mean to hurt him but he swore on me and I just came in here in our room and started listening to my music and read pages on the internet.

I'm thinking that I need some time away. Serious time away. Time where I only talk to him a few times while I'm gone. But I don't really have anywhere I can go so that I don't have to ask for more days off work and whatnot. I should have asked for this weekend off and went to where no one could get hold to me. Out in the sticks pretty much where the only way you can get online is through good old dialup and theres no stores or big cities for miles. Ughh if only I had my time back I would have but if wishes where horses then beggars would ride.

I think I just need time to cool off.

Thanks for your reply I'm going to take it to heart and do some serious thinking.

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