Sexual assault discussions strike local chord

As the executive director of a nonprofit organization that advocates for victims of domestic abuse and sexual assault, Lysetta Hurge-Putnam avoids taking a public stance during political campaigns.

But during the annual community breakfast hosted by Independence House last week, Hurge-Putnam said she felt compelled to make an impromptu comment to the 170 attendees, including lawmakers from both political parties, in response to a recently released 2005 videotape of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump.

If you grab a person by their private parts, it’s sexual assault, Hurge-Putnam said.

There was applause in the DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel conference room, Hurge-Putnam said. Sustained applause.

Her aside was inspired by the now infamous recording of Trump saying that a star has privileges dealing with women, that “you can grab them by the p---y. You can do anything.”

As sexual abuse allegations swirl around the campaign — a 10th woman came forward Thursday to accuse Trump of sexual misconduct, and women also have accused former president Bill Clinton, the husband of Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, of abuse — groups that champion the rights of domestic abuse and sexual assault survivors are in a delicate position.

While addressing Trump’s attitude and language toward women — he has called women “pig,” “dog” and “disgusting” — seems like the ultimate teachable moment, the representatives of nonprofit organizations say they are calling out actions, not individual candidates.

“It’s really about someone who is powerful and feels they have the privilege,” Hurge-Putnam said. “It’s about having power and saying I can abuse that power if I so choose.”

Using language to disrespect and dehumanize women “is what creates rape culture,” she said. “There are many things you can talk about. Why do you choose to brag about that?”

When those around people in power choose not to challenge their sexually privileged attitudes, the perpetrators get even more out of touch, Hurge-Putnam said.

The topic of sexual assault has been in the news a lot recently, said Maureen Gallagher, policy director for Jane Doe Inc. in Boston, an advocacy group for survivors of sexual and domestic assault.

“We’re at a really critical moment in our culture when people actually believe victims of sexual assault,” she said.

Some survivors find it hard to cope with the barrage of election cycle discussion about gropings and other forms of sexual assault, said Diane Pratt, executive director of Cape Cod Shelter and Domestic Violence Services, which provides physical shelter for four families.

“It brings up a lot of their trauma and their PTSD,” Pratt said.

The lewd, offensive language and verbal assaults on women who say they were abused also bring back horrific memories for survivors who were belittled and abused with words as well as fists, Pratt said.

“Sometimes the emotional is worse than the physical” abuse, she said.

The goal of her organization is to build women’s self-esteem and self-respect, not destroy it, Pratt said.

“We’re trying to keep everything as positive as we can,” Pratt said. That means not giving abusers, despite their stature, “any power over our clients,” she said.

“Everyone is truly created equal, and everyone should be respected for the person that they are,” Pratt said.

During Wednesday’s third and final presidential debate, Hillary Clinton scored points with many voters by saying Trump belittles women to make himself feel better.

“He goes after their dignity, their self-worth, and I don’t think there is a woman anywhere who doesn’t know what that feels like,” Clinton said.

Hurge-Putnam said she doesn’t remember a presidential election where these issues have come up so publicly.

“We didn’t have these types of conversations,” Hurge-Putnam said. “But it’s empowered some people to talk about their own experiences.”

Thousands of people have tweeted their responses to writer Kelly Oxford’s tweet about her first sexual assault at age 12. Other stories were shared with the hashtage #Notokay and still more posted on Facebook.

“It’s a hard thing to talk about,” Gallagher said. “Sexual assault is really about using sex as a tool of violence. It’s not about being attracted to someone and not being able to control yourself.”

— Follow Cynthia McCormick on Twitter: @Cmccormickcct

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