Great to see Warney, McGrath and Langer all go out on a high - as well as Ponting getting the ultimate revenge, but I ultimately feel a residual annoyance at the fact that England were so crap. Without doubt Australia were a significantly superior side, but this English side still had too much talent IMO to go down 5-zip. Pietersen may well have been attacked for not being a team man, but he put a value on his wicket that few of the English bats did.

On the other hand, sadly, 5-nil probably does accurately tell the story of the series. Virtually every time Australia needed something special, they found something, and every time England were confronted with a decisive moment, they caved. It may sound harsh, IMO, with a few notable exceptions, there was a real lack of character shown this series by the English, and it got worse as the series went on. Taking a dead rubber, generally common enough, never looked likely, and it wasn't solely down to the Aussie's determination, as impressive as it was. Even when being beaten in the last Ashes, Australia tended to hang on by their fingertips and force the Poms to actually finish us off. It's a matter of pride.

"Youre known for having a liking for men who look like women."
- Linda

"FFS I'm sick and tired of having to see a bloke bend over to pick something up or lean over and see their arse crack. For christ's sake pull your pants up or buy some underpants you bogan because nobody want's to see it. And this is a boat building shed (well one of them) not a porn studio."
- Craig

The stunning thing about the 5 nil scoreline for me is that of all the poor English sides that have gone to Australia over the last 20 years this is probably the most talented, most aggressive & most successfull unit & yet the were so hammered. The series that i saw in 98/99 & 02/03 England showed have lost 5-0 then. Just shows how brilliant Australia were in the tight situations & how bad they wanted that little urn back. But i reckon this beating could be blessing in disguise for the English team TBH, since no order side in the world currently is capable of doing what Australia have done to them in this series

Got to blow up that urn up for me, too little for such a huge series..

The stunning thing about the 5 nil scoreline for me is that of all the poor English sides that have gone to Australia over the last 20 years this is probably the most talented, most aggressive & most successfull unit & yet the were so hammered.

Whaaaat. Most aggressive? Apart from Pietersen, all the recognised batsmen have been timid and boring as bat****.

Take Brisbane and Sydney aside, really England should be kicking themselves after Adelaide, Perth and Melbourne. Even to get a draw out of Adelaide they batted to play out time, which is something I will never understand at this point why you would do it; even if you wanted a draw, wouldn't you just bat normally and bat out the day? If Australia wanted the win then it is them who have the onus of doing so. The more negative you bat, the more likely you are going to get out, and that is against anybody in club cricket all the way to the Test arena.

And take Perth, after bowling them out under 250, and not to get a lead of some sort was criminal, really anything from a 100-200 lead, to owing to the performances of Clarke, Hussey and Gilchrist, they would have had a better chance of winning or again saving the Test at need be. Or even perhaps that wouldn't have happened as the English bowlers would have been motivated and Australia in all sorts of trouble trying to get out of a hole?

And Melbourne despite being rolled for 159, and to have a team 5-84, and not being able to roll them for around your total and or even to get a handy 10 or 20 run lead is poor IMO. They haven't been without their chances, just unfortunatly they haven't taken them. As for Stuart Clark, I think they could have played him a lot better and looked to have got runs off him, especially ones, twos and threes. As good as he is, I think if he is attacked then he does start to go for a few and you are on top, as is the case with any bowler. It will be interested to see how he will cope if he comes on two aggressive batsmen who are attacking him (I am talking about top drawer players like Mohammed Yousef, Sachin Tendulkar, Brian Lara etc.) and like wise he had to bowl to Ricky Ponting in Test cricket.

So there I have put some time, effort and thought into, does anybody agree with me or not as I would hope it doesn't get ignored.

Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and you suck forever...

RIP Fardin Qayyumi, a true legend of CW

Originally Posted by Boobidy

Bradman never had to face quicks like Sharma and Irfan Pathan. He wouldn't of lasted a ball against those 2, not to mention a spinner like Sehwag.

You make some valid points Craig. Before it all began, I looked forward to this series with great interest. I had spent the previous 15 months wondering how England could have managed to get their hands on the Ashes when half of the Australian team were legends of the game and a few were well on their way to becoming one (e.g, Hussey).
I had heard former greats like Botham and Lillee scoff at their age and write them off as has-beens (which I thought was a bit bizaare from two macho characters who played to fairly ripe ages). Then just before things kicked off I realised England did not have a hope once one of their star players proved himself to be weak in the head and could not handle the extreme rigours of travelling the world playing the great game he loved, staying in 5-star hotels and getting paid a 6 figure salary in Pound Stirling, and their well-respected captain Vaughan, probably their one proven world-class batsman was injured.
I hoped guys like Strauss, who I thought could stand up to the Aussies, would show some back-bone and Pietersen and Flintoff would rise to the top like cream and show their great talent. Pietersen held his head up and was inspirational at times, particularly with the disrespect he showed to Warne and McGrath. I was disappointed with Flintoff overall despite brief flourishes of belligerence, (clearly not ready for the captaincy, and it showed with his body-language). Bell was excruciatingly negative and the same could be said for Collingwood, who is cricket's answer to Jim Furyk in technique but at least showed some ticker to conteract his lack of talent. Cook showed some promise without making any of the Barmy Army write home to Old Blighty.
The tour proved once again that England haven't had a keeper worth his salt since Allan Knott (and I include Alec Stewart who was a batsman who kept cos everyone else in England at the time was ****).
As far as the bowling goes, the decision to even select Ashley Giles, not to mention play him in this series beggars belief considering the Aussies have spent the last 10 years seeing how decidely average he is, and considering they had a good, keen, talented young guy in Panesar who could turn it a bit, sitting on the bench with his thumb up his ass. It would have given them huge relief (mental and comical) to see Gile's name on the team-sheet and given them a distinct psychological advantage before a ball was bowled. Steve Harmison showed himself to have the heart the size of a pea and entered the series unfit. He was walking back to his mark huffing and puffing like a 45 year old chain-smoking prostitute after a session with Warnie on speed in that first test. Hoggard did alright for a plodder.
Onto the Aussies, the old stalwarts at the top of the order all proved just how good they were. Symonds showed that if he plays with discipline he's capable of anything. Hussey and Gilchrist are both freaks. Warne could probably play for another ten years, no matter how fat he gets, but would rather eat pizza and root women. Stuart Clark is a very good bowler, although the prospect of another 10 years of having to watch a metronomical, colourless bowler like McGrath frustrate batsmen out fills me with despair.
In summary, (just to make the article seem more professional), the Australians played the series pretty much perfectly and everyone played their part. My thoughts are well known on the extremely gay way they celebrate wickets and victories but they deserve to be applauded for the way they have clinically disposed of England. Having said all this, NZ is going to absolutely smash both these teams in every game in the Commonweath Bank Series

It's ironic about Harmison about his troubles away from home, yet it it has been on tour where he made a name for himself (West Indies 2004). The lack of preparation is another key point for me. Do the ECB have any say over the Tour games selected? Because if they do it beggers belief they wouldn't want a a Tour game against Queensland at the 'Gabba. The PM's XI game is meaningless, as was the two day game against NSW. They were better off coming here straight from India, and if you have to play your PM's game, ask for it to be played at a later date, have your game against South Australia (at the same length), but at the time they played the PM team and NSW, and head up and play Queensland in a three day game in the last full week before the Test began.

Not only does it save time in having to travel from Sydney to Adelaide and to Brisbane, but you get used to the pitch conditions at the 'Gabba (which is different from Adelaide, Sydney and Canberra) and so is the weather. To use the excuse you were outplayed is one of the the biggest cop-outs I have ever seen.

You make some valid points Craig. Before it all began, I looked forward to this series with great interest. I had spent the previous 15 months wondering how England could have managed to get their hands on the Ashes when half of the Australian team were legends of the game and a few were well on their way to becoming one (e.g, Hussey).
I had heard former greats like Botham and Lillee scoff at their age and write them off as has-beens (which I thought was a bit bizaare from two macho characters who played to fairly ripe ages). Then just before things kicked off I realised England did not have a hope once one of their star players proved himself to be weak in the head and could not handle the extreme rigours of travelling the world playing the great game he loved, staying in 5-star hotels and getting paid a 6 figure salary in Pound Stirling, and their well-respected captain Vaughan, probably their one proven world-class batsman was injured.
I hoped guys like Strauss, who I thought could stand up to the Aussies, would show some back-bone and Pietersen and Flintoff would rise to the top like cream and show their great talent. Pietersen held his head up and was inspirational at times, particularly with the disrespect he showed to Warne and McGrath. I was disappointed with Flintoff overall despite brief flourishes of belligerence, (clearly not ready for the captaincy, and it showed with his body-language). Bell was excruciatingly negative and the same could be said for Collingwood, who is cricket's answer to Jim Furyk in technique but at least showed some ticker to conteract his lack of talent. Cook showed some promise without making any of the Barmy Army write home to Old Blighty.
The tour proved once again that England haven't had a keeper worth his salt since Allan Knott (and I include Alec Stewart who was a batsman who kept cos everyone else in England at the time was ****).
As far as the bowling goes, the decision to even select Ashley Giles, not to mention play him in this series beggars belief considering the Aussies have spent the last 10 years seeing how decidely average he is, and considering they had a good, keen, talented young guy in Panesar who could turn it a bit, sitting on the bench with his thumb up his ass. It would have given them huge relief (mental and comical) to see Gile's name on the team-sheet and given them a distinct psychological advantage before a ball was bowled. Steve Harmison showed himself to have the heart the size of a pea and entered the series unfit. He was walking back to his mark huffing and puffing like a 45 year old chain-smoking prostitute after a session with Warnie on speed in that first test. Hoggard did alright for a plodder.The Australians played the series pretty much perfectly and everyone played their part. My thoughts are well known on the extremely gay way they celebrate wickets and victories but they deserve to be applauded for the way they have clinical disposed of England. Bring on the one-dayers. NZ's going to smash both of them!

I don't know about anybody else, and you would agree with me, but this patting each other on the backsides is a too much village people for mine

God only knows what Dan Cullen might have gone through before his first Test

I actually like English people in general. I lived in London for 3 years and loved it. I'm just frustrated that such a great country, who saved us from the Nazi's, are so woefully inept at sport on such a consistent basis, apart from the odd exception like '66 and the last Rugby World Cup (which is still mind-boggling). I know what it is though...It's the staple diet of mushy peas, fish and chips and Sainsbury's ready-made dinners and the lack of sunshine that have produced a nation of obese wasters. To all English fathers out there: Make your kids get outside and kick a ball, instead of sitting inside playing Playstation and watching MTV you pommy gits! That will give you more time on Cricketweb.