Ways to Know if You Are Dating a Player

Pop culture has always taught us to find the player cool. He’s the man with the roving eye, lopsided smile, teasing lines and sexy swagger. Now imagine this — you’re looking for love, you meet this charming guy. Just when you think you’ve found The One, during one steamy moment, he calls you by another name! It was always too good to be true, wasn’t it? Here’s how to avoid him and his kind.

He always has last-minute plans Graphic designer Ipsita Banerjee snapped out of her rosy reverie in a similar manner. “My ex would text me mushy messages, send me flowers at work, take me out on long drives. It was perfect, other than the fact that he’d always make plans at the last minute. My friends were pissed because I’d cancel on them all the time. So they decided to do a sting-op on him, without my knowledge. He was seeing four girls at the same time, so he’d pick a date with whoever agreed first! I felt so foolish.” You don’t know his friendsAsk to see his buddies. If you never see them around or are never invited to hang out with them, take the hint. Since he won’t want to take the chance that one of his friends is a decent guy and will tell you the truth, the player will rarely introduce you. Introductions to the gang also mean commitment and a real relationship, something that the player steers clear of.

He’s too romantic to be trueBeware of the romance trap! A player is overtly romantic for his own interests. He utters sweet nothings knowing that you are lapping it up. “It’s hard to tell in the beginning whether it’s a friendly gesture or he’s playing you, but even if you have the slightest doubt, you must check it out,” says counsellor Dr Rukhsana Ayaz.

He has different versions of the truthThe nature of a player’s lifestyle is such that he’ll have multiple girls on the go at any given time, and this creates countless possibilities for confusion and factual slip-ups. If he thinks you like seafood or your father’s name is Arun — but it isn’t! — then it’s because he’s confused you with another girl that he’s dating. Dr Ayaz’s tip to catch a liar would be to cross-question him. “He may be a smooth talker, but ask him a few pointed questions and he’s bound to slip.” Vibha Saraf, whose friend got duped by a player reveals, “Watch the fun when he fumbles and once he’s done lying, politely show him the door out of your life.”