I Made the Wrong Decision

This is the antithesis of last week’s lie of the day – it’s what you often think happened after you made the choice you did. I could easily have titled it, “John Cleese knows the New York roads better than I do,” as you will shortly learn.

It’s amazing to me how easily we slip into deciding that we can’t make good decisions, which we then use to prove to ourselves that we better not make another decision again, ever, no, really, never, never, never!

And, your face probably really does resemble the photo in this post. It’s not very pretty, is it? Well, neither is beating yourself up! 1st lesson,

When you beat yourself up for making a bad decision, you look ugly, so stop doing it! You are scaring away your friends, family, and potential lovers with that crazy face.

2nd lesson,

When you label your choice as either “right” or “wrong” you only give yourself a 50% chance of being right. That’s lame.

3rd lesson,

Given the choice, your brain is more happy reminding you that you suck at making decisions, so labotomize the negativity, it’s not helping you!

4th lesson,

How the f%$k can you possibly know you made a “wrong” decision until you can see what comes of it?

Let me give you an example from my recent past. I will warn you, this is a driving story, and I get very passionate and upset about stressful driving, so there will be several expletives forthcoming. If you can’t handle curse words, you might want to exit at this point. Furthermore, if you are not familiar with the roads and bridges in and near New York City, you may get a little lost. So, let me give you a quick user guide:

The Saw Mill Parkway – leads to New York City

The George Washington Bridge – pain in the a$$ to cross, too many trucks. Abbreviated as “GWB”

The Verrazano Bridge – impossible to get to

The FDR – biggest ever freaking pain in the a$$ and lots of bad driving

So, back to my story. I was driving from Valhalla, NY, back to New York City. I visited my grandparents’ graves, and in my conversation with them, I told them that I have decided to live life on my terms, and make empowering choices.

So, back in the car, my GPS, which I have not updated since I bought it, about 2 or 3 years ago, is wanting me to go down these side roads. I see signs for New York, but I’m following my damn GPS because it’s John Cleese’s voice instructing me, and I’m quite sure that a British comedian knows the fecking roads in the boonies of New York much better than I do. Logically, some tiny side road will be much faster than a major throughway….in fact, when I finally backtrack, and get onto a major road and I see “Saw Mill Parkway” that I KNOW goes back to New York, and John Cleese tells me to get off the damn road and turn around, I listen! I end up driving in circles, literally! (Clearly, he was using me as comedic fodder….)

This was the first time I said, OUT LOUD to myself, in the car, “You f*&king idiot! (Because I like to talk about myself, to myself.) You know your GPS has not been updated in years, why are you following it’s advice instead of taking a freaking road, that could not be more obvious about saying NEW YORK CITY? What are you waiting for, a damn Broadway show sign in bright blinking lights, and a horse to gallop by with a cowboy that lassos your car and forces you to take the freaking road?” or something to this extent.

At that moment, I realized, I had first judged myself as a poor decision-maker, because I was going in circles. However, as soon as I made the choice to make my own decision, and do things my way, I not only got headed on the right road back to the city, I also realized I was putting into action what I just told my grandparents – living life on my terms! What could be a better decision than that?

And so, I drove for many miles with a feeling of “I’m right, you’re wrong, na-na-na-boo-boo!” lighting up my face. And then, the George Washington Bridge happened. Or, should I say, didn’t happen, because one of the levels was closed for construction, and all the road signs said, “Take the Verrazano to avoid congestion.” Now, my nose is not stuffy, but John Cleese is clearly telling me to stay on the George Washington Bridge, so since I know that I’m right, and he’s British, and can’t see the road in front of me, I once again triumphantly ignore him and head on over to the road towards the Verrazano!

It’s at this point that I realize there are about 2 miles of cars trying to do the same thing, and none of them are actually moving. Meanwhile traffic heading to the GWB is rolling along. I’m going to have to swallow my pride and follow Mr. Cleese’s advice after all, and so I do……only to land in even WORSE traffic, and this time, there is no f-ing exit road. I took advantage of the stuckness to snap the photo here from my car because I realized this would become a blog post.

It’s here that I, for the second time, say out loud to myself, in the car, “You fu$%ing idiot! You are supposed to be living life on your terms! Why are you listening to John Cleese again?” or some variation.

I eventually end up turning the GPS off, exiting for the Deegan Expressway, that takes me to the FDR, to find only one lane closed, and exited again to end up spending 45 minutes driving 40 city blocks.

My first instinct, of course, was to beat myself up for the wrong decisions I had made – and I am very powerful, and easily could make myself wrong for every one of them. But, then it dawned on me,

I made it home safe, and my choices may have caused me to avoid something worse, so again, what decision could be better than the one that got me home safe?

So, the final action for you is this:

Instead of beating yourself up for a perceived bad decision (I don’t care if it’s a bad investment, a stupid thing you did at work that got you fired, ruining your diet,….) focus your energy on what you learned, and what you’re going to do NOW. Crying over the past doesn’t change your future, so stop playing victim, and grab those bull’s balls!