The 2018 version of Tezaab’s chartbuster ‘Ek Do Teen’ is out, and we are facepalming already. The ‘item number’ from Baaghi 2 is full of unnecessary loud beats that only jar the ears. Also, let’s face it: Jacqueline Fernandez is no Madhuri Dixit. The grace and expressions are missing, and the dancing is nowhere close. We wouldn’t show surprise if this song too ends up in oblivion like all other remakes churned out every day.

Why rehash when you can compose a song anew? Is it due to time constraints or sheer lack of originality? Why can’t music directors create a fresh composition? Why smother an existing number with needless beats? While bad remixes abound, we list out five that are the worst of the lot. Here’s hoping our hall of shame will serve as a wake-up call for our music industry.

1. Dheere Dheere Se Meri Zindagi (standalone) Destroying a popular romantic melody is no way to pay tribute to Gulshan Kumar. Wish someone had advised T-Series about this before they roped in Yo Yo Honey Singh to play party pooper. The rapping in Punjabi doesn’t help the cause, and the lyrics are no poetry. Besides being an ear-sore, the song also hurts the eyes. The loud colours are a far cry from the simple picturisation of the original in Aashiqui. If you find out what’s going on in the video—which God knows why stars Sonam Kapoor and Hrithik Roshan—do let us know.

2. Dum Maaro Dum (Dum Maaro Dum) We understand that no junkie song can match the evergreen number from Hare Rama Hare Krishna. But that doesn’t mean you don’t compose your own and brutalise this Asha Bhosle classic. The original number told a compelling story through Zeenat Aman’s hippie act, but this one fails to excite. Even Deepika Padukone’s ‘bombshell’ dance falls flat. So do lines like, “Aaj mere liye chair kheech raha hai, kal meri skirt kheechega!”

3. Pal Pal Dil Ke Paas (Wajah Tum Ho) If you know you’re making a sleaze-fest, why even think of disgracing a beautiful ballad? The makers didn’t spare this timeless chartbuster from Blackmail. The new version sung by Arijit Singh and Tulsi Kumar fails to strike a chord. The beats, rhythm, and aura—immortalised by Kishore Kumar and Kalyanji–Anandji—are all missing. And on top of that, there’s a rap going on! *Facepalm* As for the filming, let’s not even talk about it.

4. Dil Mein Chhupa Loonga (Wajah Tum Ho) This 2016 debacle should be a case study in butchering old songs. It gave a sleazy spin to not one but three yesteryear numbers, making us shut our ears in disgust. The original song from Darling Darling saw Kishore Kumar at his most charming best. But this one is not even a shadow of its predecessor. Being inventive would have paid off.

5. Chatur Naar (Machine) That someone had the audacity to spoil this comedic classic number from Padosan is a sign of dark times. We can still play the jugalbandi between Kishore Kumar and Manna Dey (also Sunil Dutt and Mehmood) on a loop. The rehash, though, has nothing to reminisce about, except some good attempts by a few of the actors. And the lyrics are pure cringe (“Dil ka DJ kare shor”—whatever that means).

About the author

Priyanka Agarwal is a Mumbai-based freelance writer, content marketer and budding screenwriter. She's currently working on her debut novel, which will hopefully be out this year. Latest update: My manuscript will be fully ready in the next few hours :)

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