Firstly, before you start contacting members make sure that your profile is as complete as possible. Prior to reading a new message most members check the sender's profile. It is often you profile that will be the deciding factor in whether or not the member reads your e-mail. An empty profile is not very tempting and leads the member to think you are not serious in your search. Certain members have said that it is through conversation that you get to know someone. This is not wrong. But you first have to convince the person to have a conversation and get to know you!

Avoid writing generic e-mails that you send to several people. Statistics show that a member who sends the same message to several people will receive 8 times fewer responses compared to those who send personalized messages to each person. This is not surprising. Everyone wants to think their profile was specifically chosen amongst all others and not that they receive the same message that 10 others did.

It is also important to read the person's ideal partner description. For example if the person specifically says that they are looking for someone within a specific age range, we recommend that you respect their preferences. If you do not meet some of the specified criteria mention it in your message and ask if they are absolute must haves or not. If, on the other hand, you do not meet any of the criteria specified in the «ideal partner» section it is quite likely that you will not receive a response. To avoid undue disappointment, we recommend that you find other members who are looking for someone like you!

Finally, we strongly recommend that you try and start a conversation in your first message. Ask the recipient questions, such as ask for more details about something you read in their profile or explain why you believe the two of you will hit it off. It is difficult to find a subject for conversation with a stranger. If you include a few topics for discussion in your first message there is a better chance that the person will answer you and quickly! While compliments are very nice to receive, avoid sending a message that only says «Hi, I find you pretty!!» because the only response that elicits is «Thanks!».

Write your message as if you were recording it on a voicemail, instead of as if you were having a conversation with the person. Do not send messages such as «Hi, do you want to talk?», «How’s it going?» or any other question that can be answered with «Yes» or «No». Try instead an approach like:

Hi, I like your profile because (reason). I believe that we are compatible because I also like (one of your common interests) and I completely agree when you say (Something from the person's personal description). You wrote that you work in (work sector) but what exactly do you do? I hope to hear from you soon.[René].