Day 3

It was hard today without her. I missed her presence in the apartment. The energy her body brings. I did go see her today, an it looks like she’s in there through next Saturday, and they are going to do a treatment on Monday, and two more on Wednesday and Friday. I really hope this works. I can’t wait to see her happy about herself.

My meeting with her was good, and she even called me a couple of times from the ward. I told her I was bringing Tristan by to see her at 1:30 or so. I hope that goes smoothly. I don’t want anything bad to happen on my watch.

I did some cleaning today. Still a lot that needs to be done, but I’m not in a hurry. I want the apartment perfect by Saturday. I will get there eventually. And not only that, I’m really going the extra mile with each chore. Tomorrow will be a more fruitful day of working since laundry takes two and a half hours and I generally work the whole time it is going on.

My Profile

I was diagnosed with Bipolar I in 2003 and have largely fallen flat on my face in my attempts to live successfully with this illness. I looked for meaning outside my self, and sought partnership, love and the comfort provided. As a result of never properly caring for my mental health, I was divorced twice, attempted suicide twice and have been hospitalized in three different California counties. I have absorbed the weight of my transgressions and decided to move forward towards meaning.
In 2013 I started investing in my recovery on a personal basis. I acquired skills, pursued introspection and began to take my illness very seriously. I did not want to commit suicide again. I had a fundamental desire to live with pride, and help those who could not help themselves. I wanted to reach out a friendly hand, much the way a hand had been offered to me when I needed it most. I knew I had caused pain in my past, and I did not want to be remembered as just that person who had lived that regrettable life.
Now, I work for the National Alliance on Mental Illness in Sacramento and I am the program coordinator for our Connection Recovery Support Groups. I do outreach, grant writing, website administration and I also work for NAMIWalks as a the 2019 Sponsorship Chairman. I hope to earn a place in the mental healthcare network here in my community and will work tirelessly towards promoting positive messages about the truth, hope and meaning of recovery.