I do have a cause, though, it is obscenity. I'm for it! (laughter) Thank you. Unfortunately, the civil liberties types who are fighting this issue have to fight it, Owing to the nature of the laws, As a matter of freedom of speech and stifling of free expression and so on.

But we know what's really involved: dirty books are fun! That's all there is to it. But you can't get up in a court and say that, I suppose.

It's simply a matter of freedom of pleasure, a right which is not guaranteed by the Constitution, unfortunately. Anyway, since people seem to be marching for their causes these days, I have here a march for mine. It's called:

Stories of torturesUsed by debauchersLurid, licentious and vile,Make me smile.

Novels that panderTo my taste for candorGive me a pleasure sublime.Let's face it I love slime!

Old books can be indecent books,Though recent books are bolder.For filth, I'm glad to say,Is in the mind of the beholder.

When correctly viewed,Everything is lewd.I could tell you things about Peter PanAnd the Wizard of Oz - there's a dirty old man!

I thrillTo any book like Fanny Hill,And I suppose I always willIf it is swillAnd really fil-thy.

Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately?I've got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley.But now they're trying to take it all away from us unlessWe take a stand, and hand in hand we fight for freedom of the press.

In other words: Smut! I love it.Ah, the adventures of a slut.Oh, I'm a market they can't glut.I don't know whatCompares with smut.Hip, hip, hooray!Let's hear it for the Supreme Court!Don't let them take it away!