Texas fetuses divided about Wendy Davis’s sneakers

AUSTIN, Texas – Almost a week after Wendy Davis helped filibuster a bill that would restrict abortions after 20 weeks, fetuses across Texas remained divided about her now-famous shoes. Davis, a state senator from Fort Worth, wore bright pink sneakers during the 11-hour oration during which Senate rules forbade her from sitting. The sneakers garnered as much national attention as did Davis’s marathon speaking feat. While most journalists have applauded Senator Davis for both her resolve and her fashion sense, not all fetuses agree.

“I think she should have more respect for decorum,” one male fetus said. “This is the legislature of the great state of Texas, after all.”

“Cool, fun sneakers like that are going to become de rigueur for any lawmaker attempting a filibuster,” said one female fetus. “Any man spotted wearing boring loafers during a long speech to block a vote is going to get a lot of slack from the press.”

“All this attention on her shoes distracts us form the fundamental issues about women’s rights,” another female fetus said. “Who cares what her shoes look like? Is this the year 1965? What matters is her message.”

“I think her shoes have everything to do with it,” said another fetus whose sex had not yet become apparent. “Her obstruction of the vote on this bill was a mere physical feat, not a moral or intellectual one. I mean, did you hear her droning on and on? Wasn’t she reciting the names of all her school teachers at some point?”

“I agree,” another fetus with an unknown sex said. “Filibustering, admittedly an accepted parliamentary technique, is very anti-democratic. Senator Davis stopped a vote, and voting is the very essence of our political system.”