Tips and Tricks From the Rolodex of a Professional Modern Matchmaker

New York-based "romance headhunter" Amy Van Doran's unconventional approach to matchmaking has garnered her plenty of press this year. We talked to her about hipster clients, awkward women and her feelings on Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger.

AMY VAN DORAN: My favorite thing in the world is meeting new people. I have always had a weird preoccupation with my friends' love lives, and matchmaking is just something that I just did--somehow, along the way, it just became my career.

Describe your client list.

It always changes from season to season. When people look to find his or her matchmaker, it's a match within itself. You really need a matchmaker who reflects your values. My niche tends to be more "artsy" or "hip" than what the other matchmakers work with.

What's your process?

I get a ton of emails a week. If there is someone that sparks my interest, I will schedule a meeting. I will listen to a person and take notes on his or her needs and wants. After this meeting, if I think a person is someone I can realistically help, I will propose a plan centered on those individual needs. This plan can include anything from image consulting, romantic coaching, and dates. But, what I really love to do is throw parties where I put compatible people in a room together and allow people to meet organically.

How do you determine who would make a good match?

I think there is a huge schism between what people say they want and what they actually want. I don't always give people what they say they want. I always take in to account a person's "non- negotiables," but the question I always ask myself is, "Do I think that these two people will really enjoy each others' company?" Even if you don't fall in love, no matter what, dating should be fun!

Why do you think certain people have trouble finding romance without the help of a third party?

New York is a city of extroverts, and I think the introvert sometimes could use a wacky friend to help sell themselves. Some of the best people in real life, are not the ones who would immediately catch your eye from their online profile.

Also, New Yorkers are busy! We eat out, drop off our laundry, have nannies, drivers and accountants. Why wouldn't a busy person outsource the headhunting element of their love life out to an expert?

Any tips you could give awkward women on being less awkward?

Fake it till you make it. If that doesn't work, cash in on your awkwardness, be the most awkward person ever! Because everyone is a bit awkward, owning your awkwardness should give you a common ground with any person you meet.

*I try not to watch too much of these shows. It can be easy to forget that reality TV isn't real, these shows normalize poisonous thinking and propagate some very superficial and backward ideas about love. *I look forward to the day when there is a TV show that reflects the search for love as it really is: complicated, difficult--but when you find your intellectual and spiritual match, the payoff is huge.

Would you ever host your own show of that nature?

I would have my own show if we lived in an imaginary world where producers didn't make shows motivated by schadenfreude. I have had lots of offers, but no one seems to think that a show where nice things happen to nice people has potential for strong ratings.