When your own blood hates you

Monday, March 30, 2015

Hey people, wasup? How was Saturday for you? I hope you all went out to vote your conscience, and stayed out of trouble? Anyway, I trust you guys. My readers are wise and intelligent, just like me, lol.

I was thinking about something recently. Remember in this post, when I mentioned that in Brazil, people were asked to order poems from poets, and we were supposed to ‘cook’ the poem on the spot for the customers?

Well, the story of my first customer really touched me. She wanted me to write a poem for her daughter. Through the translator, she told me that her daughter detests and hates her for no just cause. She believes she is suffering from karma, as a result from something she has done in her past life.

They have never been close, and she hasn’t liked her since she was a child. She said that since the girl was small, she has continually done things to intentionally hurt her.

She went ahead to say that her marriage with her husband didn’t work out, and her daughter blamed her the more for this. According to her, she and her daughter were both mean to each other in the past, but she doesn’t want that anymore.

She said her daughter is now in her early twenties or late teens (can’t remember which), but she wants to make peace with her. She wants me to write a poem to tell her daughter she loves her, and doesn’t want to fight anymore.

You could see on the woman’s face that she was really hurting. It was really moving. Since the daughter wasn’t there to tell her own part of the story, I had to rely on just the woman’s version to cook the poem. The poem was for the daughter. I really hope the daughter would like the poem sha because she sounds hard and mean, according to the mother’s story, and I had about 5 to 15 minutes to deliver. I am actually writing this post because a copy of the poem fell out of my laptop bag.

By the time the translator and I read it to her, she was just crying and hugging me. When it was all over, it was surprising to see that she was still hanging around. She came to meet me, and kept pecking me, speaking Portuguese, which I didn’t understand a word of, while I kept telling her ‘I don’t know what you are saying’, lol. She even went to search for me on facebook, added me, and sends me occasional messages which I have to use google translate to understand, lol.

So what do you think? How do you pursue a path of peace with someone who detests you, especially your own daughter – someone you brought to this world? I know there are so many people in this situation, and they constantly hurt from the fact that someone who they love so much hates them, like father hates son, son hates father, etc.

That must be really hard for both of them I can only imagine what they've gone through. It is really great that one of them is embracing the idea of peace. In my opinion, that's a big step towards healing.It stakes a lot of strength to be the first to surrender and seek redress. I hope her daughter would be wise enough to appreciate that and embrace it. Its unfortunate that we never know what we have until we lose it.

Like you said, the daughters side of the story is not known.. knowing her side is step 1 to finding peace between them. There is almost always a reason to things or people's reactions. If a family member or friend hates me that bad and I come to a place I want to make peace..i have to decide to be willing to be open and frank about the issues that may have led to it all.

Happy new month to you.I am sitting on the fence on this one.We all have mothers and its no news that mothers and daughters do disagree on some issues of life, but to the point of having so much dislike for each other and deliberately trying to hurt each other? It runs deep!

Anyways, it is good the mother wanted to bridge the gap, because she is the older one and is expected to be more matured than a child which she brought into this world. And a mother's love is unconditional.

Blessings.....Acceptance, forgiveness, ownership, tolerance, acceptance, its is the only path to take.

Accept the person's right to feel what they feelForgive the person and yourself your part in the disintegration if you have a part in it.Be accountable - own your shitTolerance, goes hand in hand with acceptance.Acceptance is the key, either way it falls, make peace with it.

I can only imagine the pain I would feel if my child hated me for no reason. There must be something at the root of that hatred and it will take counselling to figure out what it is. For all you know, the daughter herself doesn't even remember why she hates her mother.