Monday, January 18

Kid art makes me happy. I mean, who else but a 3-year old would figure out a way to make Violet from The Incredibles look like a character from The Princess and the Frog?

Trippy.

Recently Alexis came home from school with this masterpiece:

Of course, I immediately asked, "What is that?" I really didn't know.

The artist was a little offended that I needed to ask. She sighed, rolled her eyes at my stupidity, and then said, "It's you and my friends." The word, "Duh" was implied, but not actually spoken.

"Oh," I said. I found the explanation even more confusing than the picture because, uh, what's up with my nose?

Oink? Oink.

I won't even address the 82354609134 other things that are horribly wrong with that depiction of me. Nothing about it is flattering, that's for sure.

Then there is "the friends." I was going to ask what is up with the circles on their bodies, but I was afraid the answer was going to be even more disturbing than anything my imagination could come up with.

I'm just going to go with cow udders. So, uh, moooo.

I looked at that particular piece of art for days trying to decipher all the mysteries it holds. DAYS. And then I noticed it:

The sun. THE SUN LOOKS LIKE A SUN! Suddenly, I don't really care that my kid thinks I have a pig nose and an booty wider than a semi, SHE CAN DRAW THE SUN!

The only question is, how did she learn what it looks like? It's not like she sees it all that often in Pittsburgh.

The children appear to be showering or zapping you with sunshine. This is of course the source for your smiling. They have rigged up a device, some technology of kids' making, to channel the power of the sun through themselves into your joy.

We can assume the circles are a necessary accessory in the craft of this mysterious kid tech. However, we can never fully understand their purpose of dimensions.

We can also assume this is an allegory for kid art itself, and the joy it brings you. Thus, not only does she successfully render a sun, but she has created a work of self-referential post-modern conceptual art. She may also have "the sight."