Silence Your Inner Critic

In today’s world it can be hard to feel good about yourself. There are constant messages from the outside world that contribute to an individual feeling left out or “not good enough”. A fast-paced lifestyle and surroundings can lead to feeling not only overwhelmed, but like an under achiever. It’s important to not allow those types of feelings to become part of your self-image. Although it is nearly impossible to never criticize yourself, you do need to keep it in perspective. Here are some quick tips to stop being so hard on yourself, and start feeling more positive about yourself.

Accept good feedback, graciously. Whether the positive feedback comes in the form of a compliment, a raise or promotion, or a gift, learn to accept it. You wouldn’t tell someone they were doing a great job if they weren’t, so don’t assume that someone is “just being nice” when they compliment you. If you struggle with your self-love then this step will be hard and take practice. Work on simply saying “thank you”, and smiling rather than downplaying your accomplishments. Don’t feel arrogant by because you are accepting the positive words, feel happy that someone is appreciating you.

Don’t get stuck on your mistakes. It’s no secret that everyone messes up, makes mistakes, and has issues. If you made a mistake, accept responsibility, decide how you are going to remedy it for the future, and then move on! Try to focus on correcting your mistake and understanding why it happened rather than putting yourself down for it. Talking to yourself negatively will get you nowhere and will likely lead you to even larger missteps in the future. Making yourself feel guilty won’t change the past at all, so there is no point in continuing to beat yourself up over your mistake.

Give yourself some credit, even if other don’t. Maybe you set out with a huge goal and have fallen short, and now you feel like giving up because you didn’t accomplish what you set out. Maybe you didn’t meet the big goal, but try to think of all the small accomplishments that you have made. Try to focus on what positive things have come out of the process of working on the goal, even if the ultimate goal wasn’t reached. Focus on the small but significant steps and progress you have made, stay focused, re-evaluate your goal and your plan, and just keep on working on it.

Treat yourself as you would treat a friend. You would likely never call a friend a name, degrade them, put them down, or make them feel like they aren’t a priority. Don’t do that to yourself either. When you start thinking negatively about yourself, force yourself to stop and say “Would I say this to my best friend?” Likely you wouldn’t, because you love your friend and they don’t deserve to be treated badly. You don’t deserve to be treated badly either, especially by yourself. When you start feeling bad or negative about yourself, stop and think of what you would say to a friend who was feeling that way about themselves.

Stop comparing yourself to others. If you are comparing what you have or don’t have to someone else, you are likely to start criticizing yourself. Rather than focusing on what someone else has, focus on what you have. Practicing being thankful for what you have in your life will help you stop feeling negative about what you don’t have. It’s okay to appreciate others, but don’t do it at the expense of your own inner peace. Remind yourself of all the things about you that make you special.

Accept that you are a work in progress. It’s okay to not be satsfied with some things in your life. As long as you are working on changing those things, they can actually be a motivator. Just keep in mind that you are human and that all things take time. Allow yourself time to become a better version of yourself, without constatntly getting negative feedback from yourself. It’s okay to be strict with yourself in some areas, but don’t overdue it. Try to think of yourself as your own coach, where you will correct things that have gone wrong but still be uplifting and encouraging along the way.

If you are experiencing self-criticism and feel like you could benefit from speaking to a professional, reach out to one of our trained therapists today!

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