Great, thoughtful video Leo. I can see how all the work you’ve put in over the years allowed you to experience the event in a VERY different way then people who aren’t aware of whats happening. I especially appreciate the explanation that often people who abuse drugs begin to believe the experience is more real. kind of puts things into words that i haven’t been able to do on my own.
Thanks again.

So Leo, can i ask you a question now that you’ve eaten from the forbidden fruit of the garden of eden. Where do the insights come from? was there some sort of communication going on, a dialogue? Questions, answers, feelings insights? Was there something that Napoleon Hill calls ‘The Great School of Masters that had been watching over him, and who maintain a “school of wisdom” Or Paulo Coelho’s ‘soul of the world’ Or Terrence Mckenna’s ‘LOGOS’ after the Greek STOICS. Or even Jung’s collective unconsciousness. Something that has all the answers ready, whatever question you ask it. Did you meet him?

Thanx Leo, finally a very similar description of experience to what I had. More sober and conscious approach, seeing the consciousness working and perceiving and reacting… Good luck to you in your efforts on actualized.org

I love that youve done this. I tried psilocybins around 2 months ago and really felt like you of all people would have appreciated what they could teach you. What I find rare in myself is that I’m like you – I don’t take them for fun. I take them for the experience and what can be learned. I reccomend looking at the stars! Or a cloudy sky on a hot summers day.

As you say, these things can only be learned if you rise into the high as a psychonaut. An explorer of consciousness. I also reccomend that you do some research on a text called ‘The Mushroom and The Cross’. It’s been a while since I looked but I’m pretty sure its a challenge to find both online and in libraries. Reason being – it is a detailed text arguing the case that many events in the Bible draw from similar epiphanies that you are having. As you say – a religious experience. The text didn’t get published for a long time for obvious reasons.

Furthermore, I can see that you are very open minded about this. I’ve taken other hallucinogens many other times and its easy to see that you are a perfect candidate for being a passenger on whatever ride they can offer. So another reccomendation – DMT. The mushrooms you have tried are basically a training ground for DMT. Although it is the most illegal substance on the planet. Which is ironic because it occurs naturally in your brain every time you sleep and is found in every living thing on this planet. Consumption is tricky as proportions of DMT and softener like parsley (is a good one) can be tricky to nail properly to achieve the true high. That being – a sleep state. Everyone who has achieved this sleep state have universally reported having a dialogue with another ‘being’. The theory is that you’re having a conversation with your unfiltered unconscious self. Would make sense with the whole dream thing.

Alas I could go on and on. So I’ll just say congratulations for opening the door to psychedelics and true consciousness expansion. I hope your epiphanies continue

Hi Leo,
It is a coincidence for me that you spoke on this topic today. I have wanting to try hallucinogens to gain spiritual growth and insight, and went to Peyote Church of God last month to do so. However I was nauseated and did not have much experience. I just found out I can have some mushrooms soon. I see that next week you will have some tips before I try them. I am hoping to have experiences that give me edge you speak of, a push into greater effort to work even harder. I feel I have been working almost as hard as I can for 3 or more decades, to no or little avail, so I do need help.
Thanks,
Kari

Hey Leo I’m glad that you are have profound experiences. I’m sure your aware of the risks.
Just as a heads up the key that i didnt take note of is when to get off the ride. After years of experimenting with psychedelics I now suffer with metal health problems. Just something for you to consider.

Leo, this is a beautiful description of Reality/Self.
It doesn’t matter that it was drug induced, because the drug is really just belief, as is everything within the illusion, and what the “drug” seems to do is disrupt the “program” so that Reality can be recognized. This is a rhetorical question, but why do we “return” from moment to seeming moment? Why do we keep running this completely insane fiction/narrative/movie knowing full well it’s a lie; knowing full well it can’t be happening? Why is it we’re not running to embrace what we are; yielding to the Love that is the Self?
Not every zen master has experienced these Revelations. There are so many levels of understanding.

I’m happy for you Leo. In simply ‘being’ the very essence you align with in your authenticity and trusting that this vibration will be absorbed by others as a means of spreading The Word, is why enlightened people don’t feel the need to explain. No words needed. Although I do like your words and above all, your intentions.

If you’re in the USA, there are many ways to use psychedelics legally. For example by traveling to Peru, Netherlands, Canada, or Mexico.

Even within the USA you can find churches that legally offer psychedelics to their members, like Native American churches, Santo Daime, and others.

But yes, you could also do it illegally.

If you think you can self-actualize without facing any ethical quandaries, you’re kidding yourself.

The reality is that current drug laws are unscientific, ridiculous, and infringing on human rights. Don’t expect a predominately dogmatic and conservative Christian government to be openminded to psychedelics. The drug laws created during the Nixon administration where down-right absurd, and are still in place today. Nixon’s own policy advisors later admitted in public interviews that they passed strict drug laws to single-out and suppress hippies and African Americans who they saw as the biggest threat to the Nixon administration.

Here’s a good read about the realities of the war on drugs: http/harpers.org/archive/2016/04/legalize-it-all/

Certainly the so-called War on Drugs like any prohibition effort has cost US(A) and others dearly in ways that without question have trampled upon individual inalienable rights such as the right to self-determination to name just one. But we just can’t blame Nixon, right, as if he had a lapse in judgement only to regret it later, for every administration since has perpetuated this apparently necessary however confounding policy. Why is this so?

Well the first thing we have to admit is that we the voters can’t possibly know all the factors that go into the decision to maintain the status quo. There are always facts and factors known only by the congress and then some known only by the President and very few others. For instance, if the terrorists that hate us have any hope of winning the world for their caliphate– what they have been routinely dying for for all these years– I reckon possibly the only way to pull it off would be by importing piece-by-piece the parts that, when assembled, can make a big big BANG or otherwise terrorize and terminate many thousands or millions of citizens in a few select locations on the continent. Now since our homeland security force is well aware of this– since inevitably at least SOME of THE 5 to 6 Firecrackers’ hardware that they will require to do the job (bcoz 1 wont do it, that’s why we haven’t lost a city yet) have undoubtedly been discovered and confiscated over the past many years while (I fear) the majority has slipped through on those impossible to thoroughly check truck boxes–much of how these agencies operate will seem irrational, stupid and even heartless.
Moreover, if one has an appreciation of the unique nature and position of our imploding nation, globally speaking, that for good or for bad we’ve been imho suckered into serving as the World Policeman and therefore, having to operate to the liking of several other governments many of which– assuming we take orders well– will in turn no doubt forgive us the trillions of dollars owed them. (ever wonder why the suits no longer fuss about the astronomical federal deficit ?)

Finally, our country is about WORKING, though often a kind of voluntary slavery, working is essential for keeping problems to a minimum, and for building and maintaining the weapons that make our most critical purpose in the world– soldiering and policing and intimidating– possible. If an 18 year old young man or woman with no prospects is snatched up instead by magic mushrooms or DMT, then that is one less servant for Uncle Sam.

Besides, the top knows that once Absolute Infinity grabs ahold of you that your killing and submitting days are over. Past a certain point one would prefer death to loss of freedom of mind and soul.

Interesting video. After meditating for over six years now, without psychedelics, I see reality as unreal at times and I wonder how will I be able to communicate with others in life when I see the phoniness of it all, myself included. Right now, this is a dilemna for me.

If you keep practicing hard, and looking inward, these things will sort out for you with patience and hard word. When that day comes you will weep tears of Empathetic Joy when you see people trapped underneath their defilements.

As Leo said, this condition (as all things), are temporary…and Anicca.

…what I meant by that last part, was that the empathic joy will arrise when you eventually come to the understanding that you now posses the Wisdom to cut away your own delusions and lead others to techniques which enable the same.

Leo,
First of all, I want to manifest my gratitude. I admire your honesty and I believe it is necessary to be somewhat blunt with some statements in order to wake us listeners up.
I have had two experiences with Ayahuasca and I can relate to most of what you described, particularly in the dissolution of the self and the idea that time is an illusion. There was a point where even my senses started to “stop working” (difficult to use words for that), and it felt as though I was slowly dying. And even that was beautiful. My experiences were probably less intense, as I have only been doing serious self-actualization work for eight months. Still, it was life-changing.
One aspect that struck me hard was the idea that my “life story” is in fact one more dellusion.
For a while I felt lost, for if my daily life did not make any sense, I did not know “how to live” any longer. I share that feeling you have that my calling is to try and develop my consciousness and try to show it to the world, which makes me grateful to you again for sharing such thoughts.
You are probably aware of the material, but if not, Dennis McKenna and his brother did a lot of research on DMT and shared their experiences in Amazon jungle.
If you ever come to Brazil and want to have an Ayahuasca experience in the jungle, let me know if I can be of any help.

Leo, Very interesting video. Spent many younger years experimenting with psychedelics solely as recreational use. Have been going through a spiritual awakening for some years now and recalling the last time I got wrapped up in a night with mushrooms, I remember having the bible opened up, completely blown away with not only what I was reading, but all the insights that were traveling through my mind about spirituality,life, nature,love, breaking down some understanding like I never had before. After you awaken, or begin to awaken and open your eyes, spending an evening with mushrooms takes on whole new meaning and you would never waste your time using them as a recreational drug again. But, as you say your mind must be prepared for it. Ed

Leo,
Thank you for all the info and perspective you graciously share on this site.

I first did mushrooms in my early 50’s with 3 other friends as a group spiritual
quest. We did about 25 group trips over about 2.5 years. Doses ranged from
1.5 to 6.7 grams using a variety of psilocybin shrooms which we grew and usually
dehyrated and ground to powder for consumption. No alcohol extraction. I just wanted to share a few of our group observations and recommendations we came up with in advising other people considering doing mushrooms.

My experience is that mushrooms can be wonderful as you described in your talk.
I have an immense feeling of gratitude at being able to experience the incredible miracle of life and the feeling of connection to the universe because of the mushrooms. I had about 5 profound experiences. I certainly did not have life changing experience most times. After a number of experiences, looking back I noticed more small incremental personal advances than profound single experiences. Most were very nice. Several not so nice. Some downright uncomfortable. I had some nausea several times, but never vomitted. In all our experiences, I think there were about 5 episodes of vomitting.

My advice to anyone considering doing mushrooms for the first time…
Start off with lower dose, 2 grams maximum until you get a feel for the experience. As you are doing this as a spiritual quest(I would NOT recommend mushrooms as a party drug), plan to use them at least a few times as you may not have an earth shattering experience, especially the first few times. As you get to doses around 2 grams and higher, the hallucinogenic effects begin to occur and become more pronounced as you increase the dose. Effects vary among strains. Mushrooms are unpredictable in my experience. That is, no 2 trips are exactly alike. You can take the exact dose of the same mushrooms on 2 different days and have a completely different experience. Being in a good mood, relaxed setting, and in good company are also very important as well as. Best to have a friend(s) with you also so you can look after each other. Mushrooms are also best done outdoors in my experience. If you are having a “rocky ride” while indoors, going outside can really help to calm the experience down. In all of our experiences, even the bad ones, after coming down from the trip there is such a feeling of peace and clarity which often persists for a few days. Finally, sounds silly but if you are not absolutely sure you want to do mushrooms, don’t do them. They are not for everyone. A bad experience can be challenging and have lasting psychological impact. Make sure your source is reliable. Mistaken identification of mushroom species can be deadly. We have joked that the mushrooms seem to attract you when it is your time to experience them. You’ll know when its right. Listen carefully.

I had never heard of this mushroom, i was really lost hearing you talk about all this you said, i had no idea what you were referring to. My mind was completely closed to all these confessions, (i thought it was regular mushrooms) for pretty much of the whole video. After the video, i looked it up, and OH MY GOD!!!!! Really. I am totally shocked at what i read. So Leo, coming from you, trying to understand all you said, how you cried, how you kneeled down and found love in a simple object, how you picked up the dirt without having feelings of disgust; I have so much to cherish you for. I need to really put meaning and start working on myself and see how little i have done up to now. Leo, the outside world of the rush and push and life time markers (life phases we decide are important) i place as very important, curve my responsibility of sustaining my new journey. What i think is complex (should not be) thinking outside the bottle seems sometimes as complicated. But I must make ammends, for the lost moments of my life, to reap what i sowed. I call the actions of pressures of society which have influenced me to turn my cheek. (Leo) oh Leo, you have the wisdom, you have the guidance that makes a difference for me and others to turn on the green light in our minds to understand the importance of enlightenment, (if once we got to see it, experience it lightly, we would want it forever) society influences us so much leo, so much, it twists our minds to the hustle and bustle of resistance.

Excellent description, very, very familiar!!
Thank you so much Leo, I was anticipating this one for a while.
The most important experience of my life was a glimpse of the absolute during a mushroom trip. The realization that all borders are illusory – discovering the true nature of being as awarenesss. After that I tried to make ‘it’ an object and spent the next ten years reading about it. Recognizing all those pointers from different perspectives and backgrounds as pointing to the same perennial truth was really satisfying. But in my daily life I keep forgetting. Thank you for reminding me to do the actual work here and now! I tend to overthink stuff and create models, refining my worldview, but all this stuff is complete nonsense in the light of direct experience – everything is so mystical – I am grateful. Life is life

Well done mate, Ive been waiting for this episode for a while and I’m very glad to hear your experiences have been similar to mine. I have used mushrooms in combination with your videos to self-actualize for a while and am heading in the direction of very minimal drugs and only naturals. Sorry about those comments from others below who quite clearly have no awareness and are throwing shit back at you. Great episode and I am very glad that you are interested in the therapeutic benefits of psychedelics and it will be interesting to see what you incorporate into Actualized.org from this field. That moment you realise that you have one leg up on the bathroom counter and the other on the floor and you are flopping all over the place in hysterics… I’m glad to hear you have experienced that too now. Big hug from me mate, great episode. Keep fighting the good fight, love your work.

Leo,
Thank you for another great episode, how refreshing for someone to speak openly and honestly about a subject that can be taboo.

Our petty lives are conditioned from birth, we are taught to aspire to a certain way of thinking of what success and happiness really are.
Unfortunately, in today’s society people whom go against convention can be made to feel alienated, so they conform to fit in, but you would say they are not being their true self?

A question my friend… Is it possible to be self-actualized, true to yourself, and still maintain the basic human needs as suggested by Maslow’s “Hierarchy of needs” in today’s society?
I see a paradox!

Excellent parallel within your Great Work! I’ve been told that once I reach a sort of a crux of awakening of (any sort), that I WILL have to sacrifice something I’m (not) willing to sacrifice, that was during a shopping trip at Safeway sometime after I began to (research?) the wonders of enlightenment and after I found your site Leo, the first video watched being your “outside bees nest scenario amongst the many other meditation scenarios” video, if you don’t remember, “The NO BS GUIDE to meditation” ..well now that you address this issue/perk of enlightenment (of having to sacrifice something that crept into the depths of my ego; hasn’t been done..) in this video, that “the sacrifice” is different for each person– not always good results, not always bad– I have only STILL barely scratched the surface of enlightenment. Slowly getting closer to profound beauty while living in it. This comment to another experience with psychedelics is an experience in its self, “…beauty to be found in beauty…” “time is a joke” what wh…. ….astounding Leo, thanks, wonderful a always, brother.

Interesting, it ‘s in total accordance with the koshas in Veda and Vedanta literature .. The last kosha being the one of pure bliss and the one that precede it being wisdom…There are not delusional there are just an other reality …I would say a broader reality that include and coexist with smaller reality so to speak….(like different states (vibrations) of matter …)

In the astral plane for example everything look more vibrant alive and more colourful , and what you think take shape before your eyes …It s not delusional in that specific reality…

Interesting Leo! I watch your videos
Randomly, and I enjoy your approach.
I agree with so much you say, it
Resonates with me quite deeply at
Times. However I am still struggling
To grasp how one is to live in this world
Whole heartedly living the truth you
Describe. I feel many of us are tortured
Trying to find what you say you have found.
Is that really our reality? If it is then
Why is it so hard to find?!
I had an experience when I was around
16 that is the closest to your description
Of feeling pure love that I have ever heard.
I have always wondered about my
Experience, I could never fully explain
It, or get any answers. All I ever new
Was I wanted to go back there. I did a chakra
Healing workshop, and I found myself
In the most beautiful pulsation of
Colour. I was wasn’t separate to it.
I wasn’t even really a part of it. It was just
So beautiful! I felt this total sadness
And almost anger when I was pulled
Out of it. I woke from this experience
To the hole class standing around the table
I was on, staring at me. They had thrown
Water on me and I was left with no idea
Of what had just happened. I proceeded
Through my life always wanting to find
That space again. Always searching.
I went through bulimia, extreme depression
And attempted to take my own life. This
Was all in my teenage years to early
twenties. I only found some sort of peace
Again when I stopped searching.
I guess that’s where I’m confused
In this so called new age way of thinking.
Don’t get me wrong, so much truly resonates
With me. But honestly I’m not sure if
We are equipped or ready as a human race
To be what you are trying to teach. I really
Want to believe it.
I would like to see more focus on our younger
Generation. It’s the early teens and beyond
That the struggle really starts. Hence the
Drug and substance abuse that strongly
Happens during this time.
I’m in my thirties now and I notice
A lot of adults my age experimenting
With drugs, often for the first time. We are
All looking for something more in our
Lives. We just don’t know where to find
It!!? And why exactly is it so hard to find
When it is supposed to be where we come
From. Maybe, just a thought, you could do
Some work with younger kids. So this isn’t
Such a difficult world to grow up in. I don’t
Usually comment on these forums. However
I feel the need to right now. I hope some
Of what I have said makes sense…and
I’m not just babbling my thoughts. Haha,
Anyway that’s what I’ve done. For whatever
The reason Thanks Leo , I really do enjoy
Your videos…you are funny and humour makes
Things easier to grasp…for me

Leo, how long ago did you eat the Shrooms? is this a new experience or was it a while back. Did you eat them by yourself in your apartment? it must of been a big trip. I’ve only taken them out in the forest or nature, never inside a house. How about LSD, are you willing to try it? My experience with LSD was much more controllable. With shrooms you cannot control you hallucinations.

1 – I would like to follow down the path of enlightenment, but do not like drugs. Are you saying I need to try these psychedelics to get there?

2- Early this year I lost my son in a car accident and let’s just say my world view has changed drastically. I have completely opened my mind up and what I used to believe in – I no longer believe in any more. I see more clearly the non-duality of all things. I married a wonderful person who has really been there for me. She is very christian…

My question is, how do any of us truth seekers live among of the rest of the population? I mean I have another son (who is awesome) and a wife – all these people depend on me.. I can’t just quit my job and get divorced and move to a cave. By the way I know all of the stuff I just listed is just a sham anyways. It’s like we are forced to live in the farcical society that humans made up.

Like for instance, how do you do it? It looks like you did not quit society and just move to a cave and meditate 24 hrs a a day. So what are your thoughts? Or even better what are the thought stories saying that pop up in your awareness?

1) Of course not. But if your mind is that closed to psychedelics, that fact alone pretty much guarantees you’ve got no chance of ever even catching a whiff of enlightenment. You cannot handle enlightenment. It is beyond all your petty quibbles about drugs or even death. All that stuff is just a joke. Imagine realizing your entire life and your son’s death are a cartoon. Can you handle that?

2) No, your mind is NOT open. Nothing can prepare you for the openness of enlightenment. You cannot even imagine it in your wildest dreams. What you call “life” is just a dream. You have to be willing to give it all up. Or you’re stuck in that dream forever.

Note: this doesn’t mean you actually have to give it all up, or do anything rash. But you have to be willing and truly open. It’s clear you’re not open because you’re asking petty questions about how to preserve your false life. That’s not gonna fly in this work. You have to be after Truth!

You will not know how to live among the rest of the population. Because enlightenment will show you that there is no such thing as world or a population! And your petty human mind will be left speechless and confused.

This man just told you he lost his son.
Isn’t part of enlightenment and the quest for personal development supposed to include compassion and empathy.
Like his pain is really our pain because there is no “him” or “me”.
You’re reply seems very harsh, especially because he’s not saying “I can’t leave my petty life” which includes other humans. He is inquiring on how to take his quest to the next level.

This is a great example of why people cannot handle enlightenment. You desire nice emotions. But have little desire for truth.

My sympathy is not what this man came in search of.

If this issue came up in the context of grieving or emotional management, then my response would have been different. But it came up in the context of pursuing truth, so a response was given without consideration of emotions.

I agree with you for the most part, life is just a cartoon; coming to see that as reality is very hard work. I have tried LSD before and it just did not have a good experience and the lasting negative effects were felt for years later. So, it is possible the matrix of my mind/body could not handle the drug is all I am saying. So being close minded I am not.

I don’t know about not being able to handle enlightenment though. The divine love that is our one true nature is already inside us. It’s just a lot of work to peel back that onion and I am doing the work everyday. I am on mile 10 of a 10000 mile journey. With that said I do like your kick in the pants approach as of late.

“We are forced to live in this farcical society that humans made up” is a statement worth analysis. Who are these humans? “Who” is making this observation? “What” is it that makes this observation?
It is the moment- by- moment seeing through the fiction of the dream that is essential. Revelation from drugs or without drugs won’t produce lasting enlightenment.

If people weren’t searching for truth, why would they come to your site? For the verbal abuse?!
What you’re saying makes sense to a degree. It still seems illogical to say to someone who experienced that level of pain and is searching for meaning that they their concerns are petty. Human connection is not necessarily petty.

The only real compassion is what awakens consciousness from the dream. The illusory sense of life is pain. What sounds humanly harsh is really just consciousness communicating to itself and saying, “Wake up!”

I think what Leo is trying to say, when you experience such an epiphany yourself, you put away the former things in exchange for the finer things. He’s contrasting here. Words cannot fully express it. He’s in-tune to another dimension. Another expression of life.

Example: might be a poor example but here it goes. Lol.

Say there is a heaven and I die tomorrow. I probably would not desire my former life I had – all is but new. The tarnish that I once rested at – is restored, brand new – It’s wiped away. The flower I looked at with ordinary eyes is know revolutionary. All is but love. Weep.

It’s the state of mindfulness X infinity.

That’s just a spec of experience though . A piece of dust. Words cannot even fathom the right projection of words. You’re just in total Awe!

Ahhh, this makes me very happy
You’re good with words, so I definitely hope to hear your attempts to describe the ineffable soon! The seriousness of the cosmic joke is off the scale. Gratitude from my part!

Leo, thank you for sharing the insights. To say thanks I’ll share some much weaker insights that I had moments after listening to your talk. It’s true that our very body language and movements are presumptuous and full of this “been there done that” attitude. Touched by this insight, and while walking through the park, I decided to loosen up and I thought I ‘should’ go dance with that guy” and it seemed silly, but it seemed just as laughable that I ‘shouldn’t’ go dance with that guy over there. So I ended up favoring the option to go dance next to the guy over there. His pace quickened and he moved away from me. Saddened I thought “nobody wants to dance with me.” Then, laughing, I realized that only a very infinitely small portion of existence is not dancing; mainly the ego portion of mankind. All of life from the trees to the buildings is going “boing – zibbidy – boing” already. I have plenty to dance with.

Also I had a bit of an insight about how “here” and “there” are just concepts. I have been focusing mostly on how “self” and “other” are distinct concepts, but I have more success focusing on the concepts of “here” and “there”. It seems like we are walking up to a park bench that is “over there” but there is no solid object being approached, rather an uncountable and unmeasurable number of phenomena ever-changing. Thanks for the talks.

Leo, can one experience those vivid, visual trances in the dark? have you considered of taking them while out where the stimuli are stronger? or with a certain kind of music used specifically for these “travels”?

there are yearly organised groups who go to Peru for the ayahuasca. My cousin lives in Miami and a few years back we went to a “hippie” party where he received some shrooms and described me the experience kinda similar to yours,very vividly, there was also music which he says it amplifies the experience cause the sounds come in waves through your entire body and you can actually see the colors of the sounds and he felt like his body was melting in those waves,his legs were enlarging, he was looking at his legs and could not feel them like they were his. He also saw some squirrels jumping on the wall (there were some models or drawing of squirrels and branches on the wall) anyway….

he went to peru for the ayahuasca ceremony, he’s not practicing meditation but he read a lot of books and also recommended me some including carlos castaneda’s. He’s practiced martial arts for years (the discipline and spartan lifestyle of the shaolin monks and all that stuff I’m not much into) and also had an hypnosis session round 10 years ago or so where he saw his death.

Well,while being in Amazon he experienced the DMT trance as a black puma walking slowly through the forest, he felt like a puma, he could feel his bones moving slowly, his claws etc. As he said, the ayahuasca is stronger than shrooms and that payed trip lasts for a week or so in a resort and the more you advance, the trances transform from amazing experiences to painful personal ones where it really wrecks you inside and takes you literally back to your past – he remembers a scene so vividly from his childhood where we were spending the summer holiday at our grandparents’ house and he was in the garden with a boy, he was holding a swallow and that friend of his wanted the bird, and my cousin didn’t want to give it to him, and annoyed by the insistent friend, he cut the swallow’s head off with some scissors. And re-living that memory so vividly while on aya, he started to cry like a river, literally a river was flowing through him. Most people who go to Peru for this experience are in search for healing. I’m not sure what he’s searching for cause we now seldom meet, I haven’t seen him in years…

I also wrote to a master in this who used to organize such trips to Peru and strongly advised me not to try the DMT without previous meditation practice, and he said he gave up on the drugs, considering them useless, he’s now practicing and also teaching holotropic breathing which he says it activates your pineal gland just as strongly as the psychedelics and it’s not dangerous, has no side effects and not alters chemically your brain. He wrote some amazing books and if you haven’t heard of Stanislav Grof I strongly recommend him to you.

They’re doing it in a group precisely for what your warning message is, cause it’s very dangerous for newbies and there are shaman spiritual masters or “teachers” who assist the trances. For some , a group experience might be daunting because their vulnerability exposing.

There is no need to do ayahuasca in a group or with any other of the popular suggested guidelines (except maybe the restriction of certain medications or food before and after the trip due to the MAO inhibitor). There is no need for a shaman. You are your shaman. It will be beneficial to you.

I have done ayahuasca 3 times. The first 2 times I purged before it even produced any novel phenomenon…I know now that this is because I was not ready for what would soon follow. My ego was too strong and rejected it.

The last time I did it I had a full trip alone in my room. Oddly enough I did not purge at all that time. Trying to describe the experience would be like trying to describe the center of a black hole from the perspective of the surrounding stars and planets.

It’s not so hard to understand. We all remember how we were as children. For some reason saying goodbye to childhood is probably the hardest and most traumatic part of our lives. I remember myself wanting to postpone that moment. All my friends gave up on their toys and I could not give up on them, it felt prematurely to me. And then it came kinda natural when I started getting bored of playing, when that MAGIC started dissolving and one day I felt I was “ready” to give up on the child inside.

The most vivid memories I have, come from childhood and they may seem stupid,insignificant memories. I remember watching a ladybird for hours,it was simply fascinating. I don’t see world now with the same “eyes” and I’m aware of my unawareness. I can understand mentally I lost the MAGIC of life, but I can’t bring it back. Maybe the psychedelics are the answer and it’s been years I wanted to try them, but I want to keep the magic, not for 4 hours but for the rest of my existence as I perceive it.

As children we are AWARE- for being unaware of ourselves, we are not aware of our body, our movements, of anyone observing us, we don’t care how we are perceived, how our hair looks,if we are good looking or not, if we are smart or not, if we are good or bad, correct or wrong. If you feel like peeing in the street you simply go, don’t bother with what people think of you, not because you don’t care but because you are not aware of the others observing you, you’re not aware of your sexuality, of guilt or shame, all those concepts do not exist to you as a child. It may seem like being insane, but it’s actually AWARENESS.

That’s how I remember me. That “me” I genuinely loved, the authentic me, the one who wasn’t wasting energy into a projection of himself, the me who wasn’t concerned of anything. The one who was absorbed by a wall, or a flower and ignoring anything else that stopped existing, the time stopped existing. That’s why we have the sensation the time moved slower when we were children because we knew time didn’t exist. I remember when I first learnt to read the clock , it seemed the most absurd thing since I could not understand TIME.

Leo,
I hope this finds you. SWIM has had some similar experiences you outlined on both mushrooms and Lsd. Swim also has a daily meditation habit has taken your life purpose course and has been on the actualized path for awhile now. So you touched on permanent state of on dual awareness. Why is it that we can easily zone in on that state on psychedelics but in daily meditation we don’t even come close. The truth has been tangibly seen, the illusion dissolved what is holding one from being able to do that all the time? what is holding us back from jumping right back in? in meditation yes mind relaxes and there is a energy buzz but not a full blown immersion into truth, why is this?

Who the hell is this legendary guy called SWIM? Man, I read about him everywhere, and apparently he’s done every possible mind altering substance known to man. Did you ever try anything? I’d love to hear about your experiences!

I’m not ready yet to use psychedelics. But while you were talking about the trance washing over you while looking in the mirror, this reminded me of one of my early childhood memories. I remember being in the bathroom really trying to understand WHAT I am. It just hit me out of nowhere and it hit hard. It was super intense, my thoughts hitting all sorts of walls … I guess for a while I considered if I might be god as an easy way out of this dilemma.

Somehow this question totally got pushed aside, maybe because society doesn’t encourage it or maybe just because it’s so huge. More than 20 years later, I’ll really have to push myself to open this box once again and hopefully experience the answer

Thanks for you sharing. I have not got time to watch till the end, but your experience is exactly what happened to me sometimes that I really like the feeling I had when suddenly I catch it. I don’t know what it was, but now I know that’s called “Total awareness” It’s like you are watching the world through super HD screen in slow motion, everything is so magical. It happened the last time I was in the taxi, when I was looking out the window and suddenly It came, just momentarily, but was magically. And I want to taste more of it, but don’t know how I got into that stage in the first place, I just know that I wasn’t thinking about anything and totally focus on what was passing by.

Thank you Leo. I definitely want to experience it again. Now I know how. LOL.

The reason we dont exist in that magical state most of the time is because we have the conditioned identity on auto pilot. The conditioned identity creates a limited state of awareness that doesnt allow us to see reality in all of its magical beauty. It races on identifying things with words and organizing them into catagories etc. always oversimplifying everything and ruining it in my opinion. When we relax and slip away from the perspective set up by the conditioned mind we can experience reality without the simplifying filter of the identity. Once the identity is identified as a set of poorly researched beliefs on automatic one can work on loosening away from it little by little and experience the magical reality that is always there right infront of us when we let ourselves see it.

Mushrooms can show you a few things but are not a way to experience enlightenment. Like enlightenment mushrooms show you that there is a radically different way to experience reality possible. This is good because most of the time we are rigidly protecting our conditioned identity and thinking it is the only possible way to view reality. One of the hardest things for people is to get an objective view in their identity, see it for what it is and stop allowing it to be a set of blinders one gets addicted to. But mushroom experiences are not enlightenment experiences they do however challenge the egos rigid structure as the only structure. They are radically different from conditioned identity experiences but dont have the characteristics of enlightenment. Enlightenment is the space between all extremes. The Zero point between all numbers positive and negative, the neutral state between the acid and alcaline where neither exists, they are all cancelled out by their dual opposite infinitely reacting and discintigrating the dual concepts. the more extreme the idea the farther it is from the center, so it is good to avoid extremes if one wants to reach this calm center. But in this case the extreme experience of the mushrooms shows you that your normalized state really is an extreme too to be avoided.

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