Jay: Do they say who's fuckin' playing us in the movie?Holden: No, but it's Miramax. So I'm sure it'll be Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. They put those guys in a bunch of movies.Jay: Who?Holden: You know, those kids from Good Will Hunting?Jay: You mean that fuckin' movie with Mork from Ork in it?Holden: Yeah, I wasn't a big fan either... but Affleck was the bomb in "Phantoms."Jay: Word, bitch, Phantoms like a mallfucker.

Elle's Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropic" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

Kitty Fane: [about Wan Xi] I had no idea you had so much affection for her.Waddington: What makes you think I do?Kitty Fane: I can see it in your eyes. I wonder what she sees in you.Waddington: [In Chinese] What do you see in me?Wan Xi: [to Waddington] You're a good man.Waddington: She says I'm a good man.Kitty Fane: As if a women has ever loved a man for his virtue.

Ken: Ray, did we or did we not agree that if I let you go on your date tonight, you'd do the things I wanted to do today?Ray: We are doing the things you wanted to do today.Ken: And I would do them without you throwing a fucking moody, like a five year old who's dropped all his sweets.Ray: We didn't agree to that.