Don't Eat With Your Mouth Full

Where can we live but days?

I realise this isn't the most significant aspect of today's events, but while there's been a lot of ink spilled on Donald Trump's style of speechifying, it was only today that I noticed how consistently he glosses his own words. He says something in relatively normal political language, and then he adds a demotic equivalent, often in a different tone of voice, as if interpreting himself to a slightly hard-of-hearing companion.

Thank you very much. Sorry to keep you waiting. Complicated business. [Complicated]

Thank you very much. I've just received a call from Secretary Clinton. She congratulated us [it's about us]

on our victory, and I congratulated her and her family on a very, very hard-fought campaign. [I mean she fought very hard.]

Hillary has worked very long and very hard over a long period of time, and we owe her a major debt of gratitude for her service to our country. I mean that very sincerely. Now it's time for America to bind the wounds of decision. [We have to get together.]

Well, now I've noticed it I dare say I'll carry on noticing for the next four years.

I won't notice it, but that's because I don't want to hear him speak. Not unprecedented. After one inaugural address, I avoided hearing George W. Bush speak for eight years. The most significant exception came when I'd traveled 6000 miles to get away, and found myself trapped in the Heathrow Express with a little television set mounted in the train car.

"What is this man Hammer like?" Lockhorn demanded. "No, let me tell you. He says 'remotely resembles,' he says 'flashes of insight.' He begins, by God, sentences with 'moreover.' I had an English teacher who began sentences with 'too.' 'Too, there are other factors to be considered.' The man says he's read Macaulay, but he never got past page six -- Hammer, that is. Should have gone into real estate -- subdivisions, opening up suburbs, and so on. This English teacher started every class by saying, 'None of us can write.' Hadn't been for that man, I would have gone into real estate -- subdivisions, opening up suburbs, and so on. But he was a challenge. You can say my memoirs will be called 'I Didn't Want to Write.'" Lockhorn had almost finished his drink. "I'll have to see a proof," he said. "I'll have to see a proof of your article. Have you noticed that everybody says everything twice? They say everything twice. 'Yes, they do,' you'll say. 'Yes, they do.' Only contribution I've made to literature is the discovery of the duplicate statement. 'How the hell are you, Bill?' a guy will say. 'How the hell are you, anyway?' 'Fine,' Bill will say. 'Just fine.'"

"That's very interesting," said Price, and, feeling that his host expected it, he added, "That's very interesting."