December 6, 2009

"Her fondness for transformation began at an early age and has developed into something closely resembling a multiple personality disorder. She's Sybil with a better sense of humor, Eve without the crying jags. "And who are we today?" my mother used to ask, leading to Amy's "Who don't you want me to be?"At the age of ten Amy was caught taking a fistful of twenties from an unguarded till at the grocery store. I was with her and marveled at my sister's deftness and complete lack of fear. When the manager was called, she calmly explained that she wasn't stealing, she was simply pretending to be a thief. "And thieves steal," she said. "So that's what I was doing." It all made perfect sense to her.She failed first grade by pretending to be stupid, but the setback didn't seem to bother her. For Amy school was devoted solely to the study of her teachers. She meticulously charted the repetition of their shoes and earrings and was quick to pinpoint their mannerisms. After school, alone in her simulated classroom, she would talk like them, dress like them, and assign herself homework she would never complete.She became a Girl Scout only to become her Girl Scout leader. For Christmases and birthdays she requested wigs and makeup, hospital gowns and uniforms..."

-David Sedaris on his sister Amy, Me Talk Pretty One Day

Ah, the character-a-day thing. I've been trying to get into this again recently but every day is boring and lazy, the only thing I have to keep my spirits up being the fact that I'm wearing tights! And not pants! Envelope-pushing!