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I know I haven't been on this journal for some time. I just thought I would update it.

Two month ago I was let go from my place of employment. I have not found a job yet but than again I have not looked for one. I decided to go back to school because retail has definitely bummed me out. I took my state for CNA and passed. I plan to do this as a temp job while in school.

In January, I am going to take prerequstes for Respiratory Therapy. Hopefully I will be accepted for the fall classes. I do know it is awarded by points. Part of the point system is to volunteer for at least 100 hrs. This needs to be done by April. I need to take the Kaplan test for nursing. To pass is a 55. To be awarded points I need to get an 85. So I started to study for this.

Tomorrow I am taking a trip to AZ. I will be gone for two weeks. I am driving all the way with my furbaby KC. I would have left him here but I cant get anyone that wants to doggy-sit my aging and dementia dog. I don't think he would survive being kenneled. Do to his age he keeps losing weight. Remember he is a Rott-Lab and right now weighs only 34 lbs. He has lost two lbs in a month. He has recently seen an acupuncturist.

I was informed that my brother is in the hospital with pneumonia. He lives in Az. I did have plans to do some outside stuff with him but that looks like it cant happen. It will be too cold since he lives in the mountainous region.

I do plan on writing more in this journal. Maybe I wont internalize the stress as much.

My food intake has been horrendous. I would say partially to a slight depression and laziness.

I did buy a vehicle so I have not been riding my bike as much. I still see my personal trainer 1-2 times a week. I know I probally should go to the gym more to make up for the loss of steady slow cardio.

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I am in Texas tonight. Hit Houston during rush hour which wore me out. KC has started his pacing and is not eating well. He really can't afford to lose weight. I stopped at McDonald and got him to patties and he turned up his nose.
While in the car I thought he had an accident. It turned out it was the first river in Mississippi. That state stinks.
I am behind my arbitrary schedule. I wanted to be halfway through Texas by now. Instead I'm in brookshire just outside of Houston.

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I am in Texas tonight. Hit Houston during rush hour which wore me out. KC has started his pacing and is not eating well. He really can't afford to lose weight. I stopped at McDonald and got him to patties and he turned up his nose.
While in the car I thought he had an accident. It turned out it was the first river in Mississippi. That state stinks.
I am behind my arbitrary schedule. I wanted to be halfway through Texas by now. Instead I'm in brookshire just outside of Houston.

Texas.... a great place to be.....

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Hit rush hour in El Paso so decided to stop instead of taking an hour or two to get through. Decided for dinner to eat tacos from a taco truck. I love that the speed limit is 80mph frfffrom San Antonio to El Paso. It meant that most over the time I went 90-100mph.

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Made it to my destination, Prescott Arizona. KC did pretty good in the car except for the last two hours. He continually barked. Ruff, ruff, ruff...I am assuming t
It was the altitude change. Coming from at sea level to one mile above.

Saw my mom. She really looks old. Went to visit my brother at the hospital. He was so swollen looking. It makes me sad to see how bad they look and feel. My mom asked me to move back. I told her that I was happy where I'm at. She than states it would only have to be u til both of them died. How do you answer that. By the looks of them it will be in a year or two.

I decided to stay at a motel. She almost started to cry. She wants me to stay with her so she can look at me. She feels like it will be h e r last time. I love them but sometimes I think visiting them is worse. I know it sounds bad. Thinking this sometimes makes me feel like a horrible daughter.

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Went to the movies yesterday with my brother. It wasn't even five minutes in and he fell asleep. This is after sleeping the whole day. Than went to goldegolden corral and had dinner. The food there ducks. The ribs were okay but that was about it. My mother slept the whole daday.

Today I am taking my mother to her respiratory doctor am hour and a half away. She is not dressed yet. Grrr.

I love my family but there inactivity is driving me nuts. I would say slightly aalmond sprinkled with cashew type of nuts.

Please keep me in your prayers that I don't succomb to the annoyance I feel during that drive there and back. I know she will lay on the guilt of not living near. She than wants to stop at taco bell because it is the best one around. That is what she treats herself after her dr appt.

Later tonight I'm going to bowl wiwith a friend and her mother.

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Ah yes, the Taco Bell/McD/DQ treat after the doctor's appointment. That used to freak me out about my mom way before I ever heard of paleo/primal. I never understood how a woman so snobby about Italian food, pizza, and deli (once you leave NY there is none that is good don'tcha know) could find that kind of a food a treat.

Keeping a good thought for you.

"Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

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So far this week I have felt blah. I think minor depression setting in.

Right now I am waiting for UPS to deliver my Christmas Tree. According to their site it should be delivered today by closing. This is the first time in years that I actually feel like celebrating. My tree is only four ft tall but is suppose to have ttwo black bears climbing the tree.

I saw my trainer today and we did accessory work. leg presses and a few other leg machines. Then we did rower and walking lunges intermittently 1min each. He did say this was the heaviest weight on presses.

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16 years ago I was going through a rough patch. I was contemplating murder, suicide, or just getting lost. My roommate at the time gave me this little puppy. It was not the type I would get myself. I held him up and said well I guess he is kinda cute which became his name. I was slightly allergic to him but decided to keep him. A week later I got him a playmate/brother. They were both six weeks old. I laughed, giggled, swore, cuddled them. They gave me a purpose to live. Many of times I just wanted everything to end. But there little furry faces full of love was my responsibility. I could not see good things about there future if I left. They were raised by an older (7 yo)tabby who also ruled the household. They learned that Baby-Kitty had claws as was not afraid to use thth on their noses. It was cute that two dogs over 50lbs deferred to the bossy cat.

Three years ago Baby-Kitty died. Two years ago Apollo died.

Now I am alone. Sad is I.

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16 years ago I was going through a rough patch. I was contemplating murder, suicide, or just getting lost. My roommate at the time gave me this little puppy. It was not the type I would get myself. I held him up and said well I guess he is kinda cute which became his name. I was slightly allergic to him but decided to keep him. A week later I got him a playmate/brother. They were both six weeks old. I laughed, giggled, swore, cuddled them. They gave me a purpose to live. Many of times I just wanted everything to end. But there little furry faces full of love was my responsibility. I could not see good things about there future if I left. They were raised by an older (7 yo)tabby who also ruled the household. They learned that Baby-Kitty had claws as was not afraid to use thth on their noses. It was cute that two dogs over 50lbs deferred to the bossy cat.