• A 29-year-old man died Wednesday after falling into a vat of chocolate at a New Jersey candy factory. Not the most dignified way to go, but definitely not the worst. [Huffington Post]

• Oscar Mayer III has passed away at 95. (No, we didn’t know there really was an Oscar Mayer either, let alone three of them.) In his honour, the Chicago Tribune has compiled a list of other notable food products named after people, real and fake. Biggest surprise? There really was a Chef Boyardee. [Chicago Tribune]

• Jamie Kennedy may be struggling with an overextended business empire, but his 19-year-old son, Micha, is doing just fine, selling fresh, organic fries at the Riverdale Farm and Brick Works farmers’ markets. Things are going so well, in fact, that he’s planning another location. Tread carefully, young Micha. [National Post]

• Double-doubles take Manhattan? Thirteen Dunkin’ Donuts outlets in New York City will soon become Tim Hortons, as Timmy’s makes a push to expand in the U.S. Sure, the coffee’s mediocre and the pastries are bland, but we can’t help but feel a little swell of national pride. [Nation’s Restaurant News]

• The energy drink racket hits a weird new low. Malaysian authorities have confiscated 900 boxes of Viagra-laced coffee that were being sold as energy drinks in Kuala Lumpur. [Fox News]