Zeus and I, we’ve read our fair share of news over the past 7 years, and we agree: little has been worthy of lining a bird cage. So we’ve taken to writing our own news, ripped straight from the headlines. Zeus edits out the lies, disinformation, innuendo and tabloid tripe to create, well, the straight poop. Then I type it up. It’s such a simple concept, really, that — in-between edits — we laugh at the idea that none of the big guys thought of this.