‘Help! My iPod Touch was stolen!’ (Don’t let this be you)

I absolutely adore my iPod Touch. It is my heart and soul and if I was away from it for more than two hours, I just might begin to cry out loud like a school girl. So, what can I do to avoid tragedy from striking me at any moment? Thinking long and hard(that’s what she said!), I have compiled a list of tips to follow that have no guarantee for success but is here for me to follow anyways.

Start using a stylus – Touch-screen capable devices are the new technological trend these days. Who the hell would want to rob a guy stuck in the ’90s?

Set a Passcode lock – Though it is extremely tedious to enter a four-digit code every time you unlock your iPod, it might be your one hope of protecting precious data stored on the device. To enable it, go to Settings>General>About>Passcode Lock. Enter a four digit number as a password and remember it. There is also an option to erase all the data stored on the iPod after 10 failed attempts at entering a passcode. Use this at your own risk.

Download porn to your videos – Chances are that the person who might steal your iPod, is a heterosexual male. If luck is on your side, he might decide to take a look at your videos first. Hours will pass before he will realize how much time he has wasted.

Always log out of social networking applications – Especially since most apps keep you logged in for your convenience, it isn’t so great when the robber begins posting on your Facebook status, “Love my new iPod Touch! Can’t wait to see what else is inside!”

Download MyInfo app – Chances are slim that the person who stole your iPod will open this app, see your contact info, and return it to its rightful owner. But hey. Doesn’t hurt to try.

Use a crappy cover – The iPod Touch is known for its slick, glossy design that can draw anyone’s attention. Slap an overused iPod sock cover, and you will have to beg people to steal it!

“Hide” apps that contain important info – The iPod Touch allows for a total of nine screens of apps with 16 apps per screen (assuming it is not jailbroken). That’s a total of 144 apps. When you reach 144 apps, the next app you download won’t be displayed on a tenth page. Using the Search function, you can locate that 145th app.

Send an email to your email address – Create another email account, send an email containing a hot picture of some friend and type in the message, “I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you so bad. Let’s meet up here(specify address). This is what I’ll be wearing.” Then go to the location and find the bastard and beat the crap out of him/her.