Teen Choice Worst Dressed: Ashley Greene

Personal feelings aside, she needs a proper stylist. There’s no reason a girl this pretty with a body this tight is so often so poorly dressed on a carpet. Or does she just, like, have genetically bad taste... in the same way Jessica Simpson has genetically bad taste?

How is this ensemble flattering?

It makes her look wide when she isn’t wide. It makes her look short torsoed when she’s perfectly proportioned. It makes her legs stumpy when they are not. What a terrible disservice to a famewhore who busts her ass making sure the paps get her at the gym every day, only to showcase that ass in the sh-ttiest way possible. It’s so sad I can’t even be happy about it.

Ashley presented at the Teen Choice Awards with her Twilight co-star and “scene stealer” (this is the name of the award they both won which, I mean, there really isn’t enough energy) Jerry Curl Kellan Lutz who, amazingly, couldn’t find a reason to take his shirt off onstage, though I’m sure he begged and begged the producers like the new Matthew McConaughey.