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Monday, June 3, 2013

P&P95Forever Club Contest!

As those who have examined the blog buttons on my sidebar will know, I am a member of the P&P95Forever Club. They just posted a new game in which you write an advice column.
Perhaps I need to explain further. I (and anyone else who wants to enter the contest) have to write a letter asking for advice on some subject from anyone- and then an answering letter full of wise advice from Mrs. Bennet.
That sentence just made me laugh. :D
Anyway, the people who enter the contest are supposed to post their entry on their blog, and then comment on the P&P95Forever Club site with the link to their post.
So, here is mine. It's a letter from Lady Marguerite Blakeney (The Scarlet Pimpernel) to Mrs. Bennet's advice column, I Can Help You Find A Husband (with five THOUSAND a-YEAR!).

Dear Mrs. Bennet,

Oh, dear, I am in such a sorry plight!I really do not know what to do.I recently married Sir Percy Blakeney,
Baronet.I thought he loved me, but a
mere twenty-four hours after our wedding all love for me seemed to vanish.You see, I, in the foolishness of youth,
denounced the Marquis St. Cyr and his family to the French Revolution.He was guillotined.As soon as Percy heard of this, he seemed to
lose all love and trust for me.He still
gives me many presents and showers jewels upon me, but those don’t make me
happy.He seems to be indifferent to my
sufferings.I have practically begged
him to forgive me, to no avail.Please
give me advice! I want my husband's love
back.

Very sincerely yours,

Lady Marguerite Blakeney

My DEAR Lady Blakeney,

WHAT an HONOR it is to have a correspondence with such an
important personage as yourself!My
nerves are so dreadfully in a flutter.I
have such poor nerves, Lady Blakeney, and my husband has no compassion on
them.It is really terrible of him.

You are so FORTUNATE to have married such a man as Sir Percy
Blakeney!A baronet!I wish my girls had been half so lucky.My youngest, dear LydiaWICKHAM, recently married a Mr. Wickham.He is such a charming, handsome man, but as
he is a soldier (and a most IMPORTANT one too!) he hasn’t much money to
spare.As you are so rich, perhaps you
could send him and Lydia a bit of help occasionally.I know they could use some help with their
rent, poor souls.

You get presents of jewels and they don’t make you
happy?What more could you want?You should not be so selfish.My poor Lydia is so poor, and yet she makes
do very well.She is always so cheerful,
and never complains.

You are really too lucky.My girls should have caught that baronet.However, I suppose that Jane, my eldest
daughter, is much more beautiful than you are, and had he but seen her first,
he would have completely forgotten you.However, we cannot all have what we want, and
my Jane has five THOUSAND a-YEAR!So I
am very happy for her, even though it really would have been better for her to
have married Sir Percy.I expect his
fortune is very large.

I congratulate you on your extremely fortunate match.It is no doubt much more than you deserve.

About Me

I'm Miss Jane Bennet--on this blog, at least. I am, first and foremost, a born-again Christian, saved by grace. I'm also a Janeite, Mizzer, Tolkiendil, Phantom-fan, &c, &c; you probably get the picture. Among other things, I like to read, write, watch more period dramas than are good for me, and, of course, blog.