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Chapter 24 – Lonely

Sitting on the beach helped me forget my troubles. We had few more days to stay in Durban and all Aslam was doing was running around from one club to another on his business trip. I begged him to spend some time with me as this was supposed to be our honeymoon. When Aslam was not on drugs he was a very timid. The drugs were making him extremely aggressive.

I confronted Aslam about the incident in the bathroom the previous night. He was apologetic.

“I am not on birth control. I was a virgin before I met you. I have not been able to get onto the pill since. I have never been to a gynae ever and wouldn’t know where to start with this entire pill story. I hope you have been using protection?” I reprimanded Aslam.

“What the fuck Fatima, I told you I don’t want children with you. Don’t you ever listen?” yelled Aslam.

“Calm down, with the amount of drugs you have been pumping into me I doubt any baby would survive. I am very young and I am in no mood to be anyone’s mother just as yet. I am enjoying this party life way to much.” I replied.

“You better take care of it if you are pregnant, you stupid child” he snarled. I wondered what he meant take care of it.

I could see that Aslam was starting to get pissed off so I lit up a joint and asked him to join me by the balcony. We sat there calmed ourselves down and enjoyed the sea breeze watching the waves hitting against the sand.

“Any news from Layha regarding the divorce? She called the other day,” I enquired

“I love Layha with all my heart. I will never let her go. You have no say when it concerns my wife. She is my first and true love. All you are to me is a sex toy. Just remember that,” barked Aslam.

“Toy, am I only a toy to you? You drug me, dress me like a prostitute, degrade me by fucking me in public and when other men hit on me you start bashing me. I’m you wife!”

Aslam’s face was turning red and I was in no mood for a bashing. I walked away into the bathroom and locked myself inside for what felt like an eternity.

I finally decided I needed to get some fresh air and decided to go to the beach. I wore my bikini and sarong. I noticed that my legs were stick thin. I almost looked anorexic. At least I am not a fat slob. I tried to comfort myself.

I found a comfortable spot in the shade and started to relax. As I was paging through my magazine I noticed an article on cocaine addiction. I couldn’t help but wonder why people are so foolish to get addicted to these drugs. I was just a casual user and it was all fun and games. I was in now way addicted.

“Hello missy” when I looked up I was greeted by a gorgeous guy.

“Hello,”I replied. He was a hunk. Luckily I had my sunglasses on so he could not see how I was checking him out.

“Beautiful day in Durban don’t you think?” he asked.

“Perfect” I answered.

“Sorry I am being rude my name is David. I have seen you some where but I just can’t place you.”

“I am Fatima,” I replied, looking into his blue eyes that were putting me in a hypnotic trance.

The afternoon flew by as I chatted with this stranger. We spoke about food, holidays and any subject you could think of. I lost track of time. Finally an adult conversation with someone and it was great to be listened to for a change and not barked at. I was thoroughly enjoying all the attention from David.

When I checked my phone eventually I noticed that it was silent and I had missed a dozen calls from Aslam and even more messages.

“I am married,” I confessed.

“I am in a middle of a divorce, you seem to be in a hurry, here is my number, call me” responded David.

We exchanged numbers and I departed.

As I walked into the hotel room, Aslam was sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. His head was in his hands and he was crying inconsolably. I actually could hear the sobs in the hallway. Aslam is usually such a macho man. I found it strange that he had broken down into tears. I rushed to comfort him and asked him what was wrong.

“I am missing Layha. I love her so much. I regret lifting a finger on her ever. I can’t lose her.”

I was shocked by his words. It was heartbreaking to hear your husband love someone more than you. I did not know how to react. I started fuming,

“Aslam grow up! Are you not tired of her crap? That is why you married me to have some fun. I can’t believe you are falling for this holy act. That bitch wants out. Let her go?”

Aslam grabbed me and started throttling me.

“You just call my wife a bitch again, you slut!” shouted Aslam. His hands were getting tighter around my throat. I could not breathe. I started gasping for air. He finally let go and I fell to the floor.

“Do you enjoy pain? Watch your mouth. Why do you do this to yourself? You make me so angry.”

Aslam started drinking and gave me some to drink as well. Later that afternoon he came begging for forgiveness.

“Let me make it up to you, let me take you on a shopping spree” pleaded Aslam.

As I dressed to go out I had to put a scarf around my neck to cover all the bruises from the choking earlier. As we entered the mall, Aslam headed straight to a jewelry store. He asked me to wait outside, while he quickly went in.

Aslam came out and sat next to me with a gift bag in his hand.

“I am sorry Babes, this must have been the worst honeymoon in the world.” He said. As I opened the gift I was ecstatic. “How did you know I wanted this watch? I never ever thought I could ever afford it. You forgiven” I exclaimed. I kissed him and all was well with the world again for that brief moment.

The happiness was short lived. I suddenly started shaking uncontrollably. My face went pale instantly. I was becoming anxious and started talking uncontrollably. “What’s wrong Babes?” asked Aslam in a panic.

“Oh shit, I forgot my bag, I don’t have a line?” I mumbled.

Aslam handed me a small packet and walked me to the bathroom.

“Get a grip of yourself, be quick and don’t get caught,” he scolded.

I went into the bathroom and my favourite public spot for snorting drugs was clearly the toilet lid. I put down the toilet lid, made a few lines and snorted. Once the high was setting in I left.

After this episode we decided to have a quiet night and returned back to the hotel room and ordered in some supper.

My phone started buzzing at a very odd hour in the early morning. It woke me up from my sleep.

“Not today, I am busy” I replied and deleted both messages immediately.

Aslam and I went for some lunch at the pool area. I was beginning to enjoy my meal when my appetite was spoilt when Dahlia and “the foreigner” decided to join us. Dahlia started flirting uncontrollably with Aslam and Aslam was not hiding his excitement very well.

“The foreigner,” came closer to me and whispered in my ears,

“interested in spouse swopping?” I was outraged at the suggestion. I may be a lot of things but I am not cheap.

“Dream on” I answered.

“The foreigner” seemed offended and he and Dahlia left immediately. I was relieved.

Aslam was furious.

“What did you tell him that they left so quickly? I hope you not messing up all my hard work to get this business.”

I explained to Aslam the situation and was surprised that he agreed that I did the right thing.

“Maybe it won’t be a bad thing just to experiment?” he suggested.

“Would you ask Layha to do something like this?” I yelled.

He just started laughing.

“We all know you are my toy and I married you to keep me young.”

“If you want to feel young why didn’t you marry a white chic?” I exclaimed.

“I need you to stay out of jail,” he replied.

I was in no mood to start an argument with him. I just agreed. Deep down I hoped he loved me.

Aslam left for a business meeting. I went to the room. I decided to entertain my boredom and loneliness with some drinks, pills and cocaine. The rest of the evening is a blur.

When I woke up the next morning, I searched for Aslam. He was nowhere to be found. I began feeling queasy. I ran to the bathroom and started vomiting.

I tried calling Aslam and each time it went straight to voicemail.

These new phone’s battery life are pathetic. His phone must have died.

The phone started ringing “Aslam, where are you?” I asked frantically.

“It’s David here”

We started speaking for a very long time. I enjoyed speaking to David. It felt comfortable. We had so many things in common.

I did not hear from Aslam the entire day. I decided to shower. As I was showering my nose started bleeding like crazy. I tried to stop it with towels but nothing worked. Blood was dripping all over the bathroom floor. I looked into my vanity case. I picked up a tampon, tilted my head back and shoved it into my nose. Finally it stopped. I looked closely at my nose. It looked like it was moving out of shape. I did not like what I saw in the mirror. My teeth were discoloring and my face had all these blotches.

The day passed by and all I did was enjoy the party pack from “the foreigner”

At 3am I decided to call Aslam again.

“Babes, I was at this amazing strip club and we took the party to some hotel room. I will meet you at the airport tomorrow for our 8am flight. Be a babe and pack up for me. I love you” and he put the phone down.

I was suddenly wide-awake. This was the first time Aslam said he loved me. I was on top of the world. He actually loves me.

The next morning I waited at the airport. I put on my sunglasses because the hangover I had was not agreeing with daylight. As I was waiting for Aslam I reminisced about the honeymoon. My head started pounding and my heart started aching at the thought of such a lonely honeymoon. I boarded the flight. The doors were almost going to close when Aslam rushed in and sat next to me.

He handed me a box. “Diamond earrings!” I am fickle like that. All my anger melted.

As we landed at OR Tambo airport, Aslam gave me some money and told me to find my way home.

“I have spent enough time with you the past few days. It is now Layha’s turn.”

I stopped myself from having a tantrum.

As I walked into my apartment, I was overcome by deep sense of loneliness. I have never felt so alone my entire life. I had no appetite to even make myself a cup of tea. All I did was pop pills to escape from this dark depression I was sinking into.

As I was getting ready to sleep, Aslam barged in. He clearly had too much to drink. “I can’t let Layha see me in this state,” he slurred. Next thing I knew he passed out on the couch. I started feeling very sorry for myself sitting there with this drunkard, love of my life.

Aslam is ₪☺ man at all !! My heart goes out to fati. But I hope she realized that he had ₪☺ love for her was just using her and destroying her life

may allaah guide her I really hope for the best for her future
To sister mumtaaz you are awesome really. May allah reward you for letting us know what’s really happening out there in this world may allah guide you always. And guid all our Muslim Brothers and sisters and mostly our young ones ان شاء اللّه