"in constant sorrow all his days"

By Anonymous · March 11, 2006

Have you ever seen the movie "O brother where art thou"?
I have, but it was a long time ago. I've always loved the sound track. I may not be all that big into country music, but there is something about bluegrass that tugs on my heart strings. Maybe it's my trailer park upbringing. I'm not really sure. I'm a music fanatic. The music that I listen to is a big part of my life. I was raised on it and I do almost everything while listening to music.

Last year, I sat in this very same spot in my living room and I wrote an experience similar to this one. I wrote about how emotionally overtaken I was after suspending for the first time. I wasn't alone in my first time experience either. Suspension crew aside, my friend Michael Chung Su Giossi (iam miyagi) was with me. We didn't know each other as well then, but from that day forward, there was an unspoken bond between us that stemmed from that first experience that we shared on that same day: February 6th 2005.

One year later on February 6th 2006, Miyagi and I decided that we would celebrate our suspension anniversary by going up on the spinning beam together. I'm not sure when we decided that we were going to do this, but I know that we were both looking forward to the experience many months prior to it actually happening. This experience was important to me personally for a number of reasons. Anniversary aside, it was my first time on the spinning beam and so I didn't know what to expect. Therefore, there was a lot of trust involved on both of our parts. Given the nature of the beam, you can really affect the other person's experience. Another reason it was important to me is that Miyagi and I had decided to throw one hook in each other. (we hung 2 point). Craig (iam darkncrazy) threw the other hooks. This was my very first time throwing a hook. I was so nervous, hell, I was down right scared. But Miyagi trusted me enough to let me do it. And I actually hit my marks right on.

Now to get into the meat of the experience:
Getting my feet off the ground this time was hard. Actually it was more than that, it was down right humbling. All of my suicide suspensions have been relatively easy for me. Sure, it is always painful and I always have to talk myself through the first ten minutes, but I've never had a problem getting my feet to leave the ground. Lauren (iam notjustmoreidlechatter) held both of my hands. She kept telling me that I would be ok and that I can do it. That really helped. I also heard miyagi encouraging me too.
Poor miyagi, he had 20 or 30 lbs of weight over his head. That was something that also touched me. His patience. He didn't complain about how long it took for me to get up. He held that weight and waited for me and encouraged me every step of the way. It was absolutely amazing and I can't even describe how amazing that felt.

Once we got off the ground, It was amazing. It was fun. It was breath taking. The view. Spinning and spinning and spinning.
So if you've ever seen "o brother where art thou" or are familiar with the sound track, there is this blue grass song called "Man of constant sorrow" Its one of miyagi's favorite songs. I made this mixed Cd for us to listen to while we were on the beam. I put a lot of my favorite songs on it and I made sure to include that song. I was going to surprise Miyagi with it but I got too excited before the experience and ended up telling him it was on the cd.

I absolutely loved the spinning beam.
The whole experience, as I mentioned was quite humbling for me. This suspension was not easy for me and it really made me stop and take an all new appreciation for the ritual of suspension.
My hooks were extra painful, and I've taken 6 gauge hooks before without a problem. It certainly was not a reflection on the people throwing them. They (miyagi and Craig) are the best. I feel like for some reason, my body was extra sensitive to the whole experience this time. I'm not really sure why. I guess you can never really tell how an experience is going to turn out or how your body will react.

Over all, this was the best way I could ever have imagined to spend the one year anniversary to my and miyagi's first suspensions.
As I've said, its an important date in my life. A lot has changed about me as a person and I attribute a lot of it to that experience.
I've had to gather a great deal of inner strength over this last year. I've had to sober up, be the bigger person and mourn a death all in one year. I really attribute the strength I have to suspension and it is something that no one person can ever take from me.

Miyagi: thank you for being you.
Craig: thank you for everything you do, especially the little things.
Lauren: thank you for being there always.

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submitted by: Anonymouson: 11 March 2006in
Ritual

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