Thursday, November 30, 2017

Brokedown Toilet

In rather gonzo news, I had to have a toilet replaced
because a chunk broke off of it. And I didn’t do anything to abuse it.

I replaced the little rubber flap inside the toilet tank that
controls the flushing because the old one disintegrated. If you haven’t had to
do this, be thankful. It took a lot of scrubbing to get the black rubber gunk
off my fingers. So I decided to replace the handle at the same time. It was held
on by a hex nut inside the toilet tank. Using a monkey wrench, I gently turned
it a sixth of a turn experimentally. To my great shock, a chunk of the toilet
tank fell off.

As you can see, the upper left corner is gone. No, I didn’t
hit it with the wrench, and I didn’t
crank on it really hard. It didn’t even make a cracking sound. It just
fell off.

I stared at the chunk that came off for several seconds,
stunned. I suppose experienced handymen would take it in stride, but I just
gazed at the impossible.

I think that certain incompetent plumbers a year or two ago
must have whacked it, but I have no way of proving that. I was actually thankful
the chunk fell off while I was there and had the water to the toilet turned
off. It’s hard to believe, but the bottom edge is above the waterline. But if
things had been different and I hadn’t been home, it could have been a water
disaster.

The thing was too old to just replace the toilet tank. So I
had a reputable plumber replace the toilet and haul the old one away. All told,
it cost a little over $700.00.

Needless to say, I learned a lot more about toilets than I ever
wanted to.

I suggest in the name of decay and everything-wears-out-anyway that you just superglue it back together and forget about it.

And you do have to be careful with the locking hex nut. A) I can't remember but they might be reverse threaded because the flushing motion will unscrew them, and B) there's a square lock nut (not threaded) that anchors the handle axle to the toilet (part that broke), and if you get hold of that with your wrench... (which I've done).