Random Acts of Linkage #89

* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
* Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
* Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
* Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
* If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
* If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
* If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
* If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
* If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
* You know how most packages say “Open here”. What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
* Why does someone go to all the trouble to put those tiny little holes on pages of postage stamps when the pages always tear anywhere but there?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
* Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a “ship”ment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called “car”go?
* You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
* Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
* Why do you read dumb jokes like these when they only make you groan like that, as if in pain?

Okay, a writer’s joke:

A writer died, and due to a bureaucratic snafu in the hereafter, she was to be allowed to choose her own fate: heaven or hell for all eternity. Being very shrewd for a dead person, she asked St. Peter for a tour of both. The first stop was hell, where she saw rows and rows of writers sitting chained to desks, in a room as hot as a thousand suns. Fire licked the writers’ fingers as they tried to work; demons whipped their backs with chains. Your typical hell scene.
“Wow, this is awful,” said the writer, appalled “Let’s see some heaven.”
In a moment, they were whisked to heaven and the writer saw rows and rows of writers chained to desks, in a room as hot as a thousand suns. Fire licked the writers’ fingers as they tried to work; demons whipped their backs with chains. It looked and smelled even worse than hell.
“What gives, Pete?” the writer asked. “This is worse than hell!”
“Yes,” St. Peter replied, “but here your work gets published.”

…..and now we move along to the linkage — random or otherwise.

This week I finally got a chance to dip into the archives of the Drew Marshall show and listen to the November 22nd episode featuring “the Jesus Bloggers” — Michael Spencer, Darrell Dash, and Bill Kinnon. Several laugh-out-loud moments and some good conversation.

Dr. Barb Orlowski’s dissertation material is now available on the website she has set up, Church Exiters. You can read her research and conclusions on recovery from spiritual abuse.

Here’s a good question, or discussion point… on whether or not to tell your kids that you can’t afford to buy them everything on TV. This is a no-brainer for me though.