Before one talks about Islam and the Middle East these days, it is important to start with a context. There is so much disparaging that I believe it is critical to show the side of life and belief that are not talked about or portrayed on Western media channels.

Unlike Western languages, Middle Eastern languages are symbolic. A word is more than a concept or a group of letters or set of grammatical rules. A word is a philosophy. The above image showcases Compassion. I do not read or understand the language so I will share the explanation from the page from which it is shared:

Bismil-Laahir-Rahmaannir-Raheem is the soul of Islam which recognizes and honors the very existence and all Blessings, Compassion and it’s the very source of all Mercy from Almighty Allah Subhaanahu wa Taala who responds to our moral integrity and our tremendous love for Him . This is said at any tasks that Muslims take before entering a house, eating, reading a book and also beginning any prayers.

I find it appropriate for this blog post because I use this post to join my voice to those of outsiders begging for compassion for Raif Badawi and those like him. For those unfamiliar with Raif Badawi, you can read a summary of his story here. Before you start pontificating about Islamic barbarism, I’d like to remind everyone of a certain period in Western History called The Holy Inquisition. Those who claim the West has become more civilized would have to answer the question my heart friend labeled by others as an atheist has asked: if you believe in a loving God, why must honoring his love be done through the destruction or demeaning of others?

Many Western countries believe in the separation of Church and State. In this belief lies the assertion that each should have no authority over the other. In the Middle East the approach has been Church and State are one. Muhammad was both a religious prophet and a military general. He brought unity to the Middle East. You can read a brief account of his life here. His legacy was preserved for centuries but now the current state of chaos and destruction has many questioning and looking for the path that will restore safety and order. An insight on some of the debates.

I do not know the sum totality of Raif Badawi’s writings or talks. All I know is the little I have read in the link I have shared. A see a man bitter about the level of despair he is living in and desperate for a change that will bring peace and order so he can sleep soundly knowing his wife and children are safe and healthy. In anguish we say many harsh things that, in a calm state, we would most likely have said a little differently. Add to this the mixed blessings of youth that has not yet been tempered by aged deference to the status quo or to patience.

Most importantly, I cannot tell people of another country how they should administer their own laws or what they should believe and do. What I can do at this time is share my confusion. The Islam I grew up watching as an outsider was so peaceful and benevolent it made me feel Christianity often feel short on the true meaning of God and Love. The Islam I see today is factionalized and violent. The writings and principles of Islam have not changed so what has happened?

There are times in any culture and history when a person or an action becomes symbolic of a much larger meaning than the context in which it originally took place. Raif Badawi and others are becoming such symbols. Throughout the Islamic diaspora there is open debate on the rights to self-determination, religious practice and self-expression. Here are views from Malaysia and Britain. As an outsider, it is hard for me to understand how flogging anyone will settle such debates. Catholics have tried flogging and self-flagellation both of which still have supporters. However, for most (myself included), such practices alienate people from religion, acceptance and tolerance.

It is important to note that daily life still goes on despite chaos and conflict. Here is an image from a caligraphy workshop:

Fear and terror should have no part of daily life. Hence, for me the debate is not about whether Raif Badawi should be flogged, imprisoned or exiled. The debate is about what is the best mechanism to practice Bismil-Laahir-Rahmaannir-Raheem in the current Middle East? As an outsider, I humbly beg for mercy to be shown as a symbol of compassion and tolerance during such difficult times.

Before I go into a full rant, let me begin by saying that I am fully aware that dundaheadedness (nimrod in US English) aka mumuishness is not limited to any particular ethnic group or type of person. After you travel the world enough you just wonder about the human species sometimes. In addition, oppression of the minority by the majority is not unique to the US, it is the result of obliviousness combined with herd mentality. In any country, under represented populations face an uphill battle in terms of rights and just treatment. It is the responsibility of the majority population to take safety precautions that ensure the rights of all are protected and upheld in the same manner as their own rights.

With this information, it is absurd to state that the Michael Brown shooting should be examined strictly as a self-defense case and not in the context of racial tension. This is an attempt at revisionist history and it is unforgivable in this day and age. The United States may have abolished the legalized genocide commonly known as the slave trade in 1865 (after Cuba, Russia, Moldavia…) but the systemic inequities that flourished under this system have not been abolished.

A story is better than 1,000 words so here is one particularly absurd case:

Black Egyptian, Mustafa Henfy is told he must declare himself white?!?!

So, for those who say too many of us are are unduly upset, what is most appalling is what has NOT been officially stated by the Ferguson police. As an example, a proactive and sensitive message after the incident could have looked like this:

A tragedy has just occurred in a police encounter with a young male. The male is dead and, as police who value human life, we wish to express our deepest and most sincere apologies to the family and friends. Nothing will bring the young man back. Rest assured his death is not just a statistic to us. We have placed the officer involved on desk duty until an internal investigation is complete. We welcome eyewitness accounts because our goal is to understand the situation in its totality so that we can ensure situations like these do not re-occur. Again, while sorry is not enough we ask for your patience and temperance. We remind you that police are humans and not infallible beings. The officer involved is filled with remorse and regret and will receive counseling. We will also make community counselors available to the family and community if they so request. Thank you for your understanding during this difficult time.

Instead, there was riot gear and armed escalation. How do such actions demonstrate any level of good will????? Most important, why should such actions be allowed to happen with impunity????

“I lived in America: I know how it is.” he said. “You think you’re happy? You’re not happy. You’re never happy. I was never happy. I always sad and depressed.”

There will inevitably be a lot more demonizing and rejection by many who read the article. However, I would like to offer a ray of hope to anyone feeling the same way as the young man.

When a whole planet seems to have turned against you, refuses to recognize you as a beautiful part of humanity, labels everything you are and everything that looks like you as something that needs to be destroyed, it is hard to connect with others or feel that life is worth living.

You try to be happy but what is the point? You get up in a good mood, you turn on the television and there is talk about how everything like you is evil. You pray and calm down. Some of your friends say why pray, who will help us other than death? You walk out the door and there are stares and comments on a good day. Most days probably worse.

You try to explain: look people, I’m not saying everything about my people is right, we are definitely different from your people, there are things I don’t agree with in my customs and your customs but it does not make me evil. All of a sudden self proclaimed experts tell you “facts” about your beliefs that are so far from the truth you wonder how this person calls themselves a rational human being. You are told what you “must believe” is true and you are told what you “must be thinking” and why when nobody has taken the time to even ask you if that is true. Most of the time, those that do ask are just waiting for you to say a word or phrase that anyone else would use in order to misconstrue what you say into a warped representation of your beliefs. Anything you say or do is ALWAYS used against you.

So, you stop speaking. You only socialize with those who are exactly like you. You see those like you and everyone is angry. Everyone feels hated. Tempers flare. Someone says something and that hurts someone and, next thing you know, those exactly like you are at each others throats. There is no end to the constant fighting and negativity. All you want as a human being is to find acceptance and peace but where? how? when?

No, I’m not Middle Eastern or Islamic but I am half Kenyan, half Puerto Rican. I wish I could say that in 2014 humanity in general has evolved past the stigmas that have destroyed countless of lives over the centuries but it has not.

What I do know, if you behave like the stories the stories win. Stay alive, stand firm, stand strong. Those who attack have an inner war that is not yours. Keep your peace by letting them keep their war inside themselves. Don’t put their war inside you. Your goal is for your humanity to win. If you destroy yourself and others, how will your life stand in testimony to the truth instead of the lies?

If you saw the title and thought this is going to be a nice deep metaphysical discussion on growth through suffering, let me save you some time: read another blog.

Yes, I know, how can someone who claims to follow the Catholic faith say suffering has no purpose and look at the crucifix on the alter during mass??? Are you a non-believer or a heretic some would ask. Well, I define the Divine as all which is good, wholesome and loving. Suffering is none of these so if you require my belief in the Divine to include a belief in suffering as a necessity then I am a very proud non-believer. If requisite suffering is to be held as the norm then I am a heretic as well. There, see, no lightening bolts.

So do I deny suffering exists? Not by a long shot. Look anywhere and you can find it. However, what is it you seek? Do you seek to always find suffering in the midst of happiness and call it inevitable or do you seek to find happiness in the midst of suffering and call it vindication?

Now you see the conundrum: you can trap yourself in logical quicksand where all roads lead to suffering. To get out of quicksand you need to stop struggling/moving about, stay calm, stay focused and find a rope, branch, plank, something that is outside the quicksand and use it as a bridge or a lever to get out.

The mind can trap itself quite contentedly in futile endeavors. So, let’s look at suffering. The best response would be proactive. If you can see quicksand in advance, you avoid it. Ok so you cannot do this with fellow human beings and call yourself human. Yes you can. You can make sure in advance that hunger does not exist and therefore the suffering it causes is avoided. You can make sure there is wealth for all so the suffering of poverty is avoided. This doesn’t mean stopping those who have more money than they can ever spend themselves from having what they want. It does mean there is never a moment where someone who needs money to spend on life’s essentials (including vacation and recreation and decorative items) does not have any.

Some would say, such a world will be a horrible place and we will have uncontrolled population explosion. What leads you to such an assertion? At an existential level, it is scarcity and the fear of loss that drives excessive reproduction and consumption. There is solid economic data on this (click here). It is also the fear of loss and scarcity that drives voluntary blindness (I don’t want to think about things I cannot solve OR This is just the way the world works). Voluntary blindness is not avoidance it is negligence. In its most blatant form it is deceit and planned malice. Planned malice because the same brain and effort that is being used to neglect things can be used to find solutions. Deceit because claiming that planned negligence is unavoidable let alone a Divine intention is an outright lie!

So, what do I see when I look at the crucifix? I see a frustrated being exhausted from trying to get us to realize: idiot, there was always another way! I told you to imagine yourself in my image. Unless you want to see yourselves tortured, dead and hanging on crosses, why would you celebrate this? As a Divine being I can resurrect myself into anything. As a mortal, can you??? If you know your time is limited why spend it on acts of destruction? Why fill yourselves with hate and vindictiveness? If you want revenge for a wrong, why make it hurtful, why not find something amusing or better yet healing (as in put the stupidity of doing harm in blatant display)? Most of all, why spend time doing everything that is the antithesis of what I represent then call on me asking for salvation???

Soooo, as you can see, I don’t want to get hit by lightening bolts and I don’t want to have to answer that last paragraph of questions either. It’s much easier to avoid suffering by being proactive and trying to find solutions to things (even if all I can create is a teeny weeny idea) than to practice negligence and accept suffering. Do I feel peace when I look at a crucifix? Yes, absolutely. I know the better way is guaranteed. All I have to do is not do things that lead to the crucifixion of others.

If you have lived a life full of suffering, stop believing this is your destiny, that it is inevitable, that it is what the Divine (whatever form of higher power you believe in) intended for your life. That is both irrational and wasteful. If you don’t believe in any higher power and only believe in natural order, if death and destruction were meant to be the norm why would there be life and beauty anywhere??? Balance you say. The universe is not a see-saw. There are many cycles and patterns but take heed of this: if you enjoy being a predator, there is always a bigger one (it is a matter of when, not if, your adversary shows up). Sooo, you can spend your life looking over your shoulder and preparing for what you can never be ready for (your own annihilation), or, you can choose another way….

My views may not reflect the views of other Kenyans or even friends and family. There are times when angst compels one to speak out. I have become exasperated with continued official and media condemnation of Kenya’s handling of terrorism. The US had 1 in country attack on September 11, 2001 (aka 9/11). I was in the US at the time and got asked by some how I knew to call family and say: I’m ok, we are likely to loose communication but I will find ways to get you info. The protocol was no different that what got activated during the US Nairobi Embassy bombing on August 7, 1998.

For those who don’t know Kenya, click here to get some perspective. I was born in the US, have a Kenyan father, Puerto Rican mother and have lived my life pretty much equally split among all 3 countries (as in physical time spent). Belonging to a country for me is more cultural than geopolitical and yes, this inevitably leads to what some might construe as divided “loyalties.” The only thing I can swear eternal loyalty to is goodness and those who want to pursue it. Good intentions do not justify bad actions. By the same token, putting down efforts and chastising must only be done when a more effective method has been demonstrated to work in the situation being discussed.

Life in the US was completely altered as a result of 1 attack in 2001 (death toll 2,977). Many would say constitutional safeguards were thrown out the window and the ramifications of extreme surveillance and the new security measures are still being understood.

While no single terrorist attack in has killed as many as the 9/11 attack, Kenya has sustained the following in a country with a population (44,351,000) that is 14% of the United States (313,914, 040):

In addition, as of December 2014, 600,910 refugees account for 1.3 % of our population and no one denies a lot needs to be done to improve safety and living conditions in refugee camps.

Those who want to call themselves allies must wise up to the fact that many forces have been eagerly trying to drive Kenya towards socio-political collapse. Warning Kenya that attacks are escalating is like telling one bullets kill people: true but useless information. We also don’t need to be told there is a crisis. We are living it!

Despite shortcomings, Kenya has been the beacon of stability in East Africa. All these grandiose criticisms/”expert opinions” can be directed at fixing the root cause of the problem: the failed states in Somalia and Sudan. Once that is fixed we can send people home and go back to focusing our scarce resources on internal stabilization matters.

Solutions are NOT theories such as the economic liberalization “help” that led to the further destabilization of former Soviet block countries. Solutions cannot be triggered only by self-serving needs like the concern for Ukraine only when oil pipelines are threatened. Solutions are given in a context appropriate manner at the time the need FIRST arises AND they solve the problem. Anything other than this is hype for the illusion of self-aggrandizement.

With respect to terrorism in Kenya, official intelligence from multiple governments have confirmed the sources. We are not idiots who believe all Somali’s are bad. I give Kenyan officials high marks for not making foolish official statements condemning all Muslims/Islamic people for the acts of lawless and banal groups that use “religion” as an attempt to legitimize their misdeeds. Using the religious label grants them the legitimacy they seek. Terrorists are despicable thugs and that is the only label that should be used. Naming such groups assigns a humanity that they do not deserve. Everyone living in Kenya has the responsibility of contributing to safety and well being. Those who know of terrorist activities and fail to deliver information to authorities are not just failing their responsibility they are co-conspiring with despicable thugs for the sole purpose of promoting destruction.

There are those who like to boast and brag about being super powers. Such grandiose titles always fall short of incremental scrutiny. Power is accountability FIRST and authority second. Super Power requires SUPER Accountability. Most of us are content to wake up every morning facing a world of exponential change and increasing complexity with the hope that somehow our actions make this world a better place now and for future generations. Especially when faced with a future that we cannot yet conceive. Superior claims can only be made after superior success relating to the specific matter has been achieved. Until then, cooperation is demonstrated through acts not words and public announcements.

I participate in a group designed to build women leaders and celebrate the feminine side of power. On the work/life side is StudioG http://www.studiogsandiego.com/#!studioglabs/c6os. On the Faith/Reflection side is Resurgence. The goal is to create a safe space for women to explore their identity and their ability to be agents of change in the world.

Men are welcome and encouraged. As women we know what it is like to be excluded from “power circles” and are deliberately focused on being inclusive. However, we do caution that the group is a conflict free and complaint free zone. You come to the group with positive energy, positive language (about yourself and others), positive attitude (irrespective of what you are going through in life) and a desire for growth (at all levels of your personality and life).

As a group, we learn to embrace and celebrate our differences through the Path Elements Profile (PEP)™ http://pathelementsprofile.com. Shelly Shepherd honors her last name by shepherding us to overcome our creative tensions and pursue our destinies. We shared the delight of hearing Laurie Beth Jones read her forthcoming book The Contessa Chronicles which teaches us, among other things, that Wisdom is a woman and the real strength that taught Solomon and other wise men. (Evidence for non-believers http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wisdom_literature and http://www.women-philosophers.com/Teachers-of-Socrates.html). It also gives a liberating and deep felt belly laugh window into the possibilities of Divine Family.

I have been part of the group for 9 months. In this time, I have identified systemic improvement as my core value and started to explore what it means to be 10x bolder in advancing sustainability. I have also had the honor and priviledge of watching others blossom. Liz has taken her passion for healthy living and launched her own wellness training series http://lizzardfit.tumblr.com/ plus got her mom to join the group! Molly has found her voice and is using her Human Resources skills to teach us all how to create a life full of possibilities that we WANT and controlwww.discovercareercompass.com.

Then we have members like Leslie Bailey who bring forth Quijotesque goals. Leslie told us, I want people to have FAITH. I don’t want fights about God and religion. I want people to share love, happiness and the belief that good IS in this world protecting us at all times. Well, this goal is definitely not a solo act!

Leslie asked that we help her reach her goal by “sharing an encouraging quote or verse. It should be a favorite text verse/motivational poem/prayer/meditation that has lifted you when you were experiencing challenging times.”

I guess this doesn’t carry the same “legitimacy” without an explanation of what I’ve found most challenging in life. My arrival to San Diego in 2010 was an arduous journey. I left the safety of family and friends to come to a city where I knew no one because I was 100% sure I’d get the help I needed to reach my goals. For the first 3yrs I mostly found hatred (granted there were kind people). The personal cost was high and for a six month period, statements like these (stated as “normal conversation” below my apartment window so that there was no proof of harm and I would be dismissed as crazy) were a daily occurrence:

On Wed, Mar 7, 2012 at 9:08 PM, Sara Smith <sis010771@yahoo.com> wrote:
OH LIONS LICK ASSHOLES TO GET THE TASTE OF NIGGER OUT OF THERE MOUTH HAHAHAHAHAH PSYCHO BITCH

On my birthday in November 2011, I couldn’t take it anymore and ran away by driving off terrified. I got arrested for speeding and failing to yield to police. In March 2012 I was arrested for “felony evasion of police.” I spent 12 months in jail (I refused to post bail, I told the first defense attorney she was completely incompetent so she declared me mentally incompetent, I decided to exercise my constitutional right to refuse to co-operate with mental examination and got put in a state prison hospital with forced medication). The first label assigned was schizophrenic. This was then changed to bi-polar. Ironically, all those who have made the “diagnoses” have never talked to any of my doctors or family or friends (even though I’ve been on this planet for 43yrs and have never had such labels assigned to me before). Very triumphantly they have declared themselves the triumphant discoverers of a “truth” everyone else missed.

Soooo, when I hear about campaigns to create controversy by banning words like “bossy” I think, if you really want controversy, why not ban hate speech? Answer, as despicable as it is, in the US Constitution it’s protected by the 1st Amendment. The irony of my situation is that the Coronado Police did their best to help me. They warned, this is dangerous territory and you cannot deal with this alone. We know this is hard but try to keep yourself away from people like these. I was too focused on proving I had the same rights to exist to listen. The one label that I do accept out of all of this is “oppositionally defiant.” Telling me that this approach doesn’t win friends and influence people is like telling me I’m black. Really???? I must have not seen this EVERY time I look in the mirror so thank you for pointing out the obvious (I AM being sarcastic).

At StudioG we learn to find ways to harness our nature for the benefit of others. When I was released from jail (pled guilty just to get out) family and friends insisted I should go back to safety. However, my oppsitionally defiant side took over: I’m staying right here in the same city where I experienced the unthinkable because I’m going to finish what I came here to do – build myself professionally and become a sustainability thought leader. As if by magic, everything started to transform and on a daily basis people who are 100% committed to helping me reach this goal have started to mentor me (most without knowing the struggle behind the struggle – at least until now). They are doing everything they can to make my life easy and happy. They push me to reach beyond anything I have imagined for myself (here I thought I was a big dreamer). In short, when Leslie says, have FAITH, it pays off, I can testify to that!

The biggest lesson learned over the past 3 years is that we have choices. I should have chosen to handle things differently but I didn’t. Those full of hate could have chosen to be nice and kind people but they didn’t. In the end, it was a zero sum game. I don’t know what price they paid and I really don’t care. Living a life consumed by such hatred is prison and hell enough. I thank God and the Universe EVERY DAY that I’m not them!!! I also give thanks for getting away from them and finding safety in San Diego. I won’t lie and say there was no urge for vendetta. However, that would turn me into that and that is NOT my life! During trials like these one has to learn to be good just because. While in jail, there was no reward for being good. I was shell shocked to hear how hard other women’s lives have been and what they have survived. My belief in a system that yields justice was destroyed and replaced by the knowledge of a system that delivers punishment at all costs. Yet, in that hell, the very people I was always told to stay away from (repeat criminals) are the ones who protected me and taught me how to survive because they realized I would never make it without their help. Every day I felt the guilt of knowing that, in my world, nobody would give them the same help because they would always be “a criminal.” I’ve sought refuge in a gated community and made sure that I don’t live alone. I will never accept breaking the law as a norm or as a solution but I feel an obligation to create a world where people are not trapped by “the system.”

The words we use are important. Every day we can make a choice to try and destroy people’s emotions or to uplift them. Positive Prophecy is the act of saying and doing things that uplift others to goodness and greatness. Helping others do what is right. I cannot let criminals into my life but I can use my voice to tell others to stop the hate and stop the abuse. Let’s build a world where people hear good things from the day they are born until the day they die. There are many other female leaders who have called for this and all I’m doing is adding to the chorus.

One of the videos we watched the first Unlocking Your Genius series I attended is

Sooo, even if you are not religious and even if you don’t believe in God, please help Leslie reach her goal by posting your favorite text verse/motivational poem/prayer/meditation that has lifted you when you were experiencing challenging times.

It must have been when I was one or two,
I believed in love and justice too!
Systems must be fair.
People must be nice.
If you are mean, you must pay the price.

Alas I grew and too soon knew,
There are those who are happy when you feel blue.
Some come with smiles others with tales,
If you refuse to listen they call you names.
YOU are very wrong they say or often shout,
Always aiming to grow your doubt.

They will shun you, some will beat you,
Some may even try to kill you.
They’ll lock you up or give you a pill.
Anything to stop your free will.

Systems are built 8 walls deep.
You may not see them but know you’ll feel them.
Scream though you might no one hears a peep.
They’re much too busy with a label called (bleep!).

Trapped and confused you wonder, is this my life, is this my story?
Is there any refuge for those robbed of glory?
And there out of nowhere an angel’s voice: it you look for your hurt all you’ll find is pain. So I beg you child, please explain, what is it you seek in vain?

I seek love and acceptance I told the angel. Laughing she said: silly child, look in the mirror. Wherever you see yourself, love and acceptance you will find.

Yes, but not everyone looks like me. How do I know, who’s deceitfully mean?
Dear child she said, what did Arthur pull from the stone?
The sword of truth I respond. But truth gets twisted by those with crafty ways. Facts become fiction and fiction gets legitimized through strength in lies. We ALL can’t be wrong they’ll tell you quick. If you show them truth they’ll call it delusion and best not pull a sword for you’re labeled a devil.

Smiling she asked: and in all of this, did the truth change?
No I reply but people wouldn’t listen.
Which people? She asked.
The ones bent on lies.
Well if they’re bent on lies, it doesn’t really matter what you tell them does it?
Well no but….
Tell them what they want dear child. Save truth for those who can hear.

And what do I do with these scars they left me?
Are you looking for your pain again?
Laughing I retort while turning to the mirror: NO, I mean these scars here!
Lo and behold, before my very eyes, the scars were gone and all I could see were smiles.

Why do bad people exist you ask?
Well the angel got away before I could ask.
My dear child a male voice says: still looking for hurt are you?
No, I’m trying to find my angel friend she…
Let me interrupt you, I’ve got to run.
Your answer is: none.
None what?
Did you not ask what purpose mean people serve?
Well, kind of. I thought it…
The answer is none…and then with a wink he added: but they’ll make you believe they’re EXTREMELY important and you’ll never fit anywhere because you’re not them.
Why do this?
What else can you do when you have no purpose?
Ha! An idle mind is the Devil’s workshop!!!
Yes, dear child, so be sure to keep your mind pregnantly busy.
What is most useful?
Silly dear: whatever brings you peace and joy.

You powerful beings make it seem so easy.
Come here child. Stand in front of me in this mirror.
All of a sudden there was a beautiful glow and he said, repeat with me (as if by magic our voices became one):

I AM Cecilia Akinyi Wandiga Cox and I AM a soldier of light!

The glow became magnificent and the world a haze. The voices of 10,000 angels in triumphant song, and, when I awoke, the bullies were gone!!!!

Is life a fairy tale? No.
Are things fair? No.
Will people do the right thing? No.
What is the best lie? One based on truth.
As things are now, are the beliefs in these questions fantasies? Yes.

But, once you let go of these fantasies, you stop taking GOOD for granted and cherish it more than your life!