So, I'm single again after 4.5 years.... holy fuck what do I do with myself? It's the weirdest sensation, to not have a sidekick for adventures.... but it's been a month, and I'm realizing he wasn't so much of a sidekick, as in I dragged him places I wanted to go..... aka we weren't as compatible as I thought. It's slowly getting easier to look at his picture, and think about him with someone else. Does it still hurt? Yeah, a little, and do I miss it? A little. But, not to the point where I'm a slobbering mess. Woot!

Now, more important things.... I let my gauges shrink to kinda please him...... he's not so big on body mods, so I let a lot of mine close up, and the gauges shrink to normal.... I missed them as soon as I made the choice, and I miss them now. However, I have a job where the process of gauging would not be looked upon kindly... (I gauge by gradual weight and by adding bigger and bigger earrings as I go.... it worked). I can promise my boss would not be thrilled to see 6 different earrings in. AND, I think I'm missing my supplies, like the assortment of stainless plugs I had for healing time. So, time for a pro con list....

PRO:
-I'd feel more like myself.
-I miss them a lot
-Once they're at the point I want them at, it's easy to make them work appropriate

CON:
-I just ordered non gauge earrings.... although I could use them for my sister's bday present, or send them back and fix my issue of supplies
-Being professional looking with gauges can be tricky, and I will be graduating in 1.5 years, and have to look professional
-The process isn't fun

My girlfriend and I are doing the long distance thing. Usually we spend a week or so together at a time, most of that just hanging out going to thrift stores and record shops and greasy spoons. Soon as its over, the first thing that hits me is I'm on my own again. Not the sex or the boyfriend/girlfriend thing really, just the friendship, the companionship when doing things we both enjoy. That's the hardest thing to turn loose of.