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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

X is For: Xavier: Secrets

Welcome to the first edition of Secrets Exposed. This week we are pleased to feature Professor Charles Xavier, known to many as Professor X.

Charles Xavier

Age: 73

Power: Telepath

School: Harvard & Oxford

Relationship Status: Single

Professor Xavier is best known for running a school for mutants and for heading up the X-Men task force. As Charles is about to retire soon, he's decided that it's time to come clean on some things.

TNR: Charles, thank you for coming today.

Xavier: Thank you. I've been burdened with these secrets for far too long.

TNR: Would you like to just dive into it than?

Xavier: Absolutely. As you know, I'm considered to be one of the most powerful mutants.

TNR: Indeed, your fame far precedes you.

Xavier: Well, that's the lie.

TNR: What's the lie?

Xavier: I'm not actually a mutant.

TNR: What? That can't possibly be. How do you explain your powers?

Xavier: I don't have any. I was a homeless guy living on the streets of New York and I figured a good con. I had no idea it would ever last this long.

TNR: So you're telling me you faked having telepathy?

Xavier: I know what you're thinking. Shouldn't I have been caught before?

TNR: That is exactly what I was thinking!

Xavier: I've been at this a long time. Fact is, it got easier the more famous I got. Soon enough mutants that actually had telepathy were beaming into my head because they assumed I would hear them. They had no idea it was them all along.

TNR: This is hard to believe...

Xavier: Heck, I didn't even graduate from college. The whole Harvard thing... I made it up. You'd be surprised how little fact checking people do when they think you're all powerful.

TNR: But you built that device to tune you in to other mutants globally.

Xavier: Actually, if you paid attention you'd remember that I had Magneto help me. That dude is way clever. Wicked cool device too. Actually simulates what it's like to have low level telepathy.

17 comments:

LOL. I'm about to post my X-man bit too. I really didn't want to, but there was absolutely no other choice. I'm interested in seeing who DOESN'T do an X-man post. Nice interview, by the way. I'm stuck on the fact that he's single. Perhaps I could overlook his other deficits...Cheers,xoRobyn

The decade of unravelling secrets has officially arrived...frankly the reason Magneto parted ways was because a con man was the hero and he, the Darth Vader of his world...sucks to be powerful mutant and have a human steal your thunder. loved this....don't tell me , he faked his death too...