Going on Multiple Dates a Day Restored My Faith in Online Dating

Online dating is awkward, and anyone who tries to tell you that it’s not is either already happily involved with someone or hasn’t yet experienced the whiplash-inducing world of swipe left, swipe right.

In fact, I've found there's a lot more to be paranoid about on a first date with an Internet match than there is to be excited about. Will the person look like their photos? Will they bring up their stance on Trump's winning the election before you’ve ordered your first drink? Will they talk about how they recently broke up with their ex and now are very much on the rebound? There’s a good chance some of the above might happen—and even if it doesn’t, you may find yourself too nervous on a first date to even sit back, relax and enjoy the person across from you.

I've given up on dating many times. I’ve downloaded and deleted dating apps on my phone about seven times this year. There was even one month where I got so fed up with messages I received because of bad grammar, poor manners, or just lack of originality that I pulled out my English degree and started giving guys feedback on their messages—rating their diction and syntax on a scale of 1 to 5. That’s when I knew I needed a break. But instead of deleting the apps again, I decided I would go on as many dates as I could in 24 hours.

I hadn’t been on one date in nearly three months, and I was sick of having all my married friends ask me what was taking so long when it came to my meeting my person. I figured I would make up for my dating dry spell by booking back-to-back dates all day on a Saturday in February, right before Valentine’s Day. I thought of it as a hackathon for my online dating life.

I opened up one of the dating apps and messaged 35 guys in one hour, asking them if they were interested in booking one of my 30-minute time slots for the following Saturday. In that moment, I treated dating like I would a business, setting up appointments with potential investors in my heart.

I managed to get five guys to agree to meet for coffee in one Saturday afternoon. Every hour was a different person, a different cup of coffee, and the same set of questions and stories on my end. By the end of the fifth date, I walked back to my apartment—admittedly a little over caffeinated—and realized that going on a handful of dates in one day was the best thing I ever did.

Here’s why:

1. You lose your first-date nerves pretty fastBy date number two, you feel less nervous hugging a complete stranger you met on the Internet, one that may turn out to be the love of your life or whom you'll promptly ghost on the moment the date is over. You begin to treat dating as if it’s a typical part of your life, instead of something you muster up the courage to do every once in a while.

2. You get to practice your dating techniqueThe more dates you go on in a day, the more you refine your questions and personal stories, making conversation more free-flowing and helping your stories become more engaging. First dates, in a weird way, are very similar to job interviews. You should bring a cleaned-up version of yourself to the table. We don’t have much practice talking about ourselves and our hopes and dreams, but serial dating helps us get better at that.

3. You free up a lot of your weeknightsOne of the main reasons I would roll my eyes at setting up dates was the fact that it ate away at my weeknights. I’d rather be working on my fitness or sitting comfortably on my couch after a long day at work. Spending a Saturday afternoon meeting all your dating app prospects lets you have your weeknights for more important things, like Bravo TV shows and getting to bed by 9:00 P.M.

4. You spend less time online and more time IRLIf you give yourself a deadline to meet every person you’ve chatted with online, in person, by that upcoming Saturday, you’ll eliminate a lot of the back-and-forth conversations that linger before a date. Sometimes you talk so much online that you never set a date to meet IRL, and the whole thing just fizzles on your iPhone screen.

Look, obviously this technique isn’t for everyone. Some people may, understandably, need an active recovery period after every first date they go on. But if you’re looking to make dating feel more natural, nonchalant, and like something you could do without giving yourself acid reflux, try going on multiple dates a day.