Remember the Rose

The great American psychologist Albert Ellis once said, “Self-esteem is the greatest sickness known to man or woman because it is conditional.” Indeed, the finding of a healthy self-esteem is the greatest mental health challenge many face in their lifetime. Individual worth (and the self-esteem that is harvested from it) is not situational and should not be established by comparison, evaluation or an individual’s last great or terrible accomplishment. Those are the conditional elements Ellis was referring to. They are often not within an individual’s control. “Life happens” as the street therapist would say. Russel Seigenberg, Ph.D., of Logan, Utah, […]

Stop Bullying Yourself!

Nobody likes a bully. Our collective awareness of the dangers and harm of bullying are rising. Teachers and administrators are searching for solutions, state lawmakers are crafting bills to protect victims, yet one of the worst bullies is getting off scot-free. He has his way with his victim, wreaking emotional havoc, and meets little or no resistance. You have may have witnessed this bullying and done nothing to stop it. Who is the bully? You. The victim? Yourself. Self-bullying is only beginning to be recognized as an emotional danger, but a growing number of researchers are establishing the connection between […]

Acceptance is Still the Answer

Acceptance is the answer, still. I was reminded yet again this week, of the importance of bringing acceptance into our lives. Without it, recovery escapes us. As a client rehearsed to me his struggles with his relationship to his wife, it became very clear to me that his struggle was not with his wife, but with his own acceptance of her and her personality. (In other words it was not about her, but about his stuff.) In AA’s Big Book Chapter, “Acceptance was the Answer,” the writer states, “when I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, […]

Not all Putts Fall

Anyone that imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. the fact is most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise …The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride. (Gordon B Hinckly)

The Attitudes of Recovery

Recovery is not easy. It has many requirements. Requirement number one and fundamental to the process of recovery is the maintenance of certain attitudes. Loss of any of these attitudes derails the recovery train. We will not make it to our desired destination. The Attitudes of Recovery are: Willingness: When the sum of our faith and humility is sufficient, it reaches a type of spiritual critical mass. Hope is fostered and grows and a willing heart emerges that allows us to submit to the process of recovery. Commitment: As Maxwell has said, “The winds of tribulation blow out some men’s candle of […]