…And That Is Why They Should Have Cryogenically Frozen Jaymz Hetfield’s Vocal Cords In 1985

Lar$ Ulrich’s housekeeper’s gynecologist’s nephew sent me a copy of Metallica’s new album, Lulu, a collaboration with Lou Reed. I thought it was a pretty cool idea, until I realized I had mistaken Lou Reed for the former lead singer of Foreigner, Lou Gramm. AWWW HORSE APPLES!

I never listened to any of Lou Reed’s work. just kinda glanced over his wikipedia page, and nodded in agreement with hipsterscum, any time he would talk about Velvet Underground. he said it was a bad idea for Metallica and Lou Reed to collaborate, so I had very low expectations for this album.

I’ve been listening to it for about a week now, and I’ve gotta admit, it doesn’t suck as much as I thought it would. some of the songs are actually pretty good. dare I say, this might be Metallica’s best album since The Black Album (which isn’t saying much, but still)

it’s a double album, but it only consists of 10 songs. three songs clock in at over 11 minutes, one of which is almost 20 minutes long. Lou Reed supplies the vocals in a spoken word format. Jaymz Hetfield occasionally chimes in with his gruff backing vocals.

Metallica was originally a thrash metal band, which is what Jaymz Hetfield’s singing style was made for. he is the 21 year-old shirtless anarchist who drinks a bottle of Jagermeister before he goes on stage, drops a coupla F-bombs on the audience, and then proceeds to bark out the lyrics to “Disposable Heroes”

is it possible for a band to sell out more than once? I’m gonna say no, just b/c once you’re a sellout, you’ll always be labelled as such. for all the negative reaction this album has gotten, I don’t know what most ppl were expecting. I certainly wasn’t expecting another Master of Puppets. take it for what it is, a past-their-prime metal band who’s exploring another style of music, and u might actually enjoy the album. altho to be honest, it can be a real pain trying to get thru some of those longer tracks. I’m in a good mood, so I’ll give it a decent rating…
netflix: 3/5
imdb: 6/10

for a funny video of Jaymz getting pissed off with Jason Newsted, see the video below:

clothing provided by GAP for Seniors

artwork inspired by that time Lar$ ripped a woman’s arms off after he found out she illegally downloaded a copy of …And Justice For All

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