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Desperately Seeking Hugo

Hugo is lonely, guys.

He would never publicly admit this, but he has grown tired of making out with his reflection and longs for the touch of a real woman.

I know this because I found Hugo’s profile on Christian Mingle. He used my email address so now I’m receiving daily Bible verses for which I’m ever so grateful. Today’s: For I am the LORD, I change not (Hugo 3:6).

I am aware of some of my readers’ obsession with Hugo’s denim shirt and eyeybrowless face. Maybe you will be the one to mingle with his Christian dingle, if you get my drift.

Dearest Reader: Speaker7 is attempting to write a post every day in November so she doesn’t have to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). This was the second most popular choice in the what-the-eff-should-I-write-about-in-the-remaining-days poll. Tomorrow it ends. And to celebrate, Speaker7 will make out with Hugo and film it. . . only if she’s drunk enough.

Perhaps you could do a picture post of you celebrating the end of NaMoBloPo with streamers and paper hats everywhere, as well as millions of empty liquor bottles. Hugo seems better suited to a more pervy site, one where he can say he’s just looking for a “casual” relationship, maybe Plenty of Fish or OK Cupid.

So Hugo likes the Teletubbies? Has he been stalking Laa-Laa? I heard she filed a restraining order. I absolutely love the dating survey. Why do I think I’d get a Hugo if I were to step out into the dating world again? Oh, and you should have added that a hobby of his is collecting hair samples.

I bet Sad Pony would have suitors chomping at the bit for him. Or not.

Hugo is 42? He looks so… so… youthful. I was thinking he was barely legal. Hmmm. It was probably the lack of eyebrows. Works for redheads. (Did I really just write that? Sorry. No offense, ginger-balls. Nuts, did it again. :/ )