~ authenticity is liberation

Tag Archives: career

This overwhelming gratitude has been going on for months now, and my prayer for tonight is for God to remind me all the things that I’m grateful for; especially when things get shaky. It’s like a matter of fact now that things won’t always go well, yet I feel a deep sense of security that no matter what happens, I will always be loved and I will always be grateful.

It’s not the kind of youthful highs that I felt before. Those were extreme, and fleeting. This one is simple, basic, restful, and comes from a kind of knowing.

Let me try to put it in a coherent story (this one is for those who’s up for some reading)…

To survive and flourish, an individual must always be part of a community. But when she ceases to be an individual, she loses altogether the capacity to form and build a community.

The big question was whether to stay in the big boat of public service and social change (assuming I didnt have a huge heart break to deal with), and lose my individuality; or to get off and yet again find my calm — an ever difficult situation that people with passion (obsession/frustration) for a better world face from time to time (that was the same dilemma that lead to the creation of this blog — “This is your battle, and yours alone”).

Can love and holding back coexist? I was having a conversation with Kaye, both of us mastering the art of holding back, for the benefit of a focused career life. Aby told me that once you have a good career, you probably won’t have good love bugs. Andre said it’s always a trade-off.

I believe otherwise, I hope.

I came upon this through Mars: “My God, these folks don’t know how to love — that’s why they love so easily,” (Lawrence). I guess everyone has gone through a phase of giving everything he can. Up to the point of giving in and giving up what gets in the way of “the priority.”

Until one day, we realize that we can’t afford it all the time. Cupid strikes and let the poison crawl through our veins? Not anymore, at least not now. Self-love is learned(which according to Whitney Houston is the greatest love of all).

If love needs that much discernment and goodwill, why love quickly? Why can’t we master holding back, proper timing and right targeting? Or making the self prepared for that moment? Or should we simply be aware that this is not yet love, that we are practicing, learning and living (aka playing around)? Perhaps mastery is to those who understand balance.