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Welcome to WUSSY Poppers: A weekly pick-me-up of all our new favorite things.

Get comfortable, breathe deep, and let us know if our picks suck.

QUEER ZooBook of the WEEK (Juliet Awry)

The Giraffe

Forget about their overwhelmingly phallic necks. The male giraffe slides into this slot because of its queer adoration for both gay courting and foreplay. The behavior involves two males using their necks to sensually caress one another all the fuck over for up to an hour. This generally leads to arousal and often orgasm. If the foreplay isn’t exciting enough, they will often mount to finish one another off. Bruce Bagemihl documented the behavior in his book BiologicalExuberance, noting that an overwhelming 94% of all observed sexual behavior occurred between males. And, honestly, a giraffe shaped g/p-spot vibrator would be the raddest toy on the market*~,’.`;<3

TRACK of the WEEK (HRO)

Carly Rae Jepsen is a gift from the pop gods. A straight male friend of mine described the horns on the opening track of her latest album as “the sounds one hears as they enter the golden gates of Valhalla.” Which is why those of us who worship at the altar of Carly keep scratching our heads that she just hasn’t seemed to receive the credit she rightfully deserves at the pantheon of pop. Yesterday, Carly blessed us once again with a new, infectious hit song, a guest feature from the forthcoming 55 from NY-based production duo the Knocks, hitting the world on March 4th. On the opening verse, Carly sings, "Remember we needed all our days and nights to get enough of us to satisfy / we played that out a thousand times.” Well, my faggoty ass is going to be listening to this a thousand times over the next few days and nights, so once again, Carly is hitting all the right notes!

LOCAL ART SHOW of the WEEK (Sunni)

The old Beep Beep Gallery location has been opened by Diana Settles and Witt Wisebaum (who founded Wonderroot in 2004), both long involved in the scene via their band the Wild and other ventures. Hi-Lo Press spans beyond a gallery; it will also be a hub for those interested in printmaking and letterpress. The opening show is a group effort of their many talented friends, of course, via a mix of different media, mostly paintings and prints, a couple photos, and a small grouped sculpture. Twenty artists will be showing work: this includes a personal fantastical femme favorite of mine, Ann-Marie Manker; two badasses we’ve featured before in Gently Used and Anna Jacobson of Femignome; and resident punk label owner Stewart Harding. The opening reception will be this Saturday the 27th, 7PM to 11PM, and will be up until March 25th.

FILM of the WEEK(JON)

The Witch

You know that thing where every twenty-something bearded hipster gay guy calls themselves a witch, thanks to films like the Craft and Hocus Pocus? They probably wouldn't recognize the trope in theWitch. This film takes a completely different approach than previous witchy classics, but I suspect the stereotype will live on. Director Robert Eggers makes a tremendous impact with his feature film debut, crafting a suspenseful slow burner with exquisite attention to detail. The Witch is a story about crippling paranoia, focusing in on one family in a remote seventeenth century farmhouse. It’s a brutal horror film that doesn’t succumb to cheap scares and constant gore, instead relying on amazing performances and sound design. If you want to live deliciously, go see this film vvith someone you love.

YouTube Supercut of the WEEK(Chris K.)

David Schwimmer says "Juice"

This is fairly straight-forward, so you’re forgiven if you think this is simply a video in which David Schwimmer says “Juice,” a lot. But if you watch it enough times, it rewards your viewership by revealing the secrets of semiotics and the deconstruction of language. How many different ways can one say a word? And will that word always mean what it's intended to? I for one have no idea what the word “juice” means anymore, but I have to sit back and admire the winding road which led David Schwimmer to this place, the culmination of his career as an actor.

Or, as Schwimmer put it best, “It's like he's not really the Juice anymore.” Of course, this contradicts his later statement, “He’s never going to stop being the Juice.” If reconciling those two sentiments is too hard, well then, “okay, Juice.”

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