A source for unapologetic style

No.

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend that I kept calling a long weekend. This whole fourth of July holiday got me messed up, but really any day off is a good day to reflect, reboot and attack my to do list. Lately my to do list has had a lot of “No’s”incorporated in it.

As I’ve grown as and individual and as a businesswomen I’ve been having to say no more often. I’m a people person and love having those around me be happy. If I can help you better believe that I’ll try. In life and in business that doesn’t seem to always work especially if someone’s happiness will cost me my sanity, health, time and sometimes money.

Sometimes No just means “I can’t afford to disappoint you”. If I agree to something that I know requires time, effort and planning yet I don’t charge my worth or anything at all the outcome will most likely be mediocre or bad and lead to disappointment. Both myself, the brand and or the person will be let down. I’ve agreed to work in the past knowing it required more time and effort than I charged and it back fired. Sometimes what are meant to be good intentions only make things worse and then creating bad relationships.

When my gut says to say NO I ask myself is it beneficial for me and the brand? Meaning
1)” Can I learn or grow from this experience?”

2) Is it aligned with my purpose ?”

3) “Can I deliver what’s required of me within that timeframe?”

Knowing your worth is also knowing when to turn down a nice check if requirements can’t be met. When it comes to business and experiences I’m not saying money is everything, but you should decide that, not the brand and or person making the offer. I get emails weekly offering me free things from socks to deodorant. It’s like thanks but I can get those things without having to spend time away from my kids creating hours worth of content and paying a photographer just to help you make more money. Like come on son! There has to be a win win sometimes Not a win and settle. Saying no only makes more room for serious brands and connections to come through. I will not be burned out losing dreadlocks from stress while somebody is skipping to the bank.

As creatives it is a good look when you have a #sponsored hashtag but when do we draw the line to overcompensating? No limits means we are always two steps from being burned out and bitter. I’ve learned a long time ago that taking a longer route and sacrificing will separate you from the rest and get you the blessings and opportunities we truly deserve. It took me a few years of sacrifice to get into a rhythm as a freelancer but boy has the “blessings keep falling in my lap”(Chance The Rapper )
Next time you have to say no just talk yourself through it when that little voice tells you that you’re being mean (it tries to convince me once in a while). Lastly when your intentions behind the word is good reasonable people and brands should understand.

The outfit:

Lately I’ve been wearing this gray tee shirt with everything and incorporating it when I want lazy but intentional outfits . It doesn’t require much maintenance yet I can pair it with statement pieces that finishes or pulls the outfit together. I got these cullotes from Ann Taylor and was siked at the sale price.

Quality x score= Win.

When buying culottes its important that the fit is on point and the quality is great. They have been done so wrong in fit and styles for so long that I’m super picky about where and what kind I buy. High waisted ones or at least under the belly button are faves. Check out These tan ones , These striped ones , Floral print , Denim and these Other green ones
Enjoy your fourth and keep the feedback and questions coming on my social media! Apprciated and all read.
Photography: K Sultan Photo