family friends

Go to the comments and help out Brian in New Hampshire with the following issue:

Having moved long distances three times in three years for various reasons, I don’t have any friends.

I don’t find this to be an issue, but my parents have become busybody worrywarts about it. Their solution is to insert themselves in my life and try to be my friends. Obviously this is not a desired outcome.

So, answer me this, how do I tell my folks that they certainly would not be the type I would befriend without making things weirder than they already are?

The long term ramifications of telling your parents to fuck the fuck off are probably best avoided, so perhaps you should try the opposite route in order to repel them: incorporate them into your life MORE. Invite them to join you in activities – activities that they will hate. I don’t know your parents, Brian, but I’d imagine many would not enjoy a joint-testing day of bog running, a shopping spree at Ed Hardy, or a weekend conference by pick-up artists. They’ll soon be making their excuses and leaving you in peace.