Chemistry is
a vital component when it comes to people and what it is exactlythat causes them to become strongly
attracted to each other as well as other living creatures.

The first
stage of a sexual relationship between two people involves the release of estrogen in women and also rather a
lot of testosterone in both men and women. At this stage it is merely sexual attraction.

If two
people go on, perhaps foolishly, to fall in love then the chemistry changes again.

In the
second stage of human love-intoxication people often find themselves losing their appetites. Lying awake all
night tossing and turning unable to sleep is normal at this point.

Attraction is intense. The object of desire surfaces continually into the
waking imagination. The afflicted one speaks of nothing else, eventually driving all those around him or her to
absolute distraction.

Singing
can occur, paperwork is mis-filed, important and key points of the workday are completely forgotten and small
fires and other assorted little accidents often happen due to absent-minded carelessness.

Why is
that, you may ask Wotta Tripp? It's all because the person is carrying all the symptoms of being hopelessly in
love, a disease which must run its full course and for which there is no known cure.

In Love - Again

At this
point there are several chemical compounds being released, or perhaps poured, into the brain of one so
stricken.

These include neurotransmitters
such as:

·Norepinephrine - this is what causes the
intense excitement of new love.

·Serotonin - contributes to feelings of
well-being and happiness and also regulates the circadian
cycle.

·Dopamine - this is another substance
that helps people feel pleasure and happiness, but it can cause problems and these will be covered separately
further on.

·Phenylethylamine - this amphetamine-like
neurotransmitter that is produced in the brain can be triggered by
relatively small events. Just a touch of the hand, a quick look or a love-note can cause floods of heart-pounding,
exciting phenylethylamine to be released.

With this
potent alchemical soup racing round a person's system, no wonder they barely ever stand a chance.

People
will do almost anything for love at this point, because they have turned into weak-willed, weak-kneed drug
addicts focused only on getting their next 'fix'.

After The Rush is
Gone

The third
stage of love occurs anytime from three months to several years into therelationship and can sometimes mark
the beginning death knell for a couple.

Very often
this is because one or both partners has stopped wanting to have sex.

There may be
quarrelling, intolerance, jealousies and irritation coupled with a reduction of or complete lack of
intimacy.

In the end,
be it after months or years, the excess hormones and neurotransmitters of 'being in love' slow down or stop in
their response to the possibly not-so-loved one.

Two hormones
are released during orgasms. Women produce oxytocin and men produce vasopressin.

These can
help keep a relationship going, as long as a couple continue to have sex with each
other. Of
course, these hormones will be produced when partners have sex with other people as well, and this does tend to
happen quite a lot.

A sizeable
percentage of relationships end in infidelity and subsequent discovery followed by the inevitable
break-up.

The End of the Road

First
comes the break-up, with all its attendant pain, anger, bitterness,
fear, blaming, crying and emotional distress. It's the stage when mourning is at its most acute, and it can
resemble the effects of a death.

Next comes
acceptance and the ensuing depression, and now is also the time for all the frustration, self-pity, confusion,
annoyance, fatigue, ennui, drinking, losing or gaining weight, resentment, sleeping, wishing you could get your
time (and CDs/money/flat-screen TV) back and staying home sulking heavily that you will be doing for the next
little while.

In the
final stage people to their great relief typically begin to feel better and much more like their old selves once
again.

That's
because all the different parts of you have finally agreed at the same time that you don't want to feel this way
anymore because it's painful and a complete waste of time as well.

As soon as
you're fed up enough of it your brain will cease over-producing annoying and uncomfortable neurotransmitters and
one morning you'll wake up feeling much more like you used to before
you got together with him or her, and you'll be ready to start the entire cycle anew.

You see,
it's best to know early on that now and again things can often go a little bit wrong.

Bad
Chemistry

Taken to
extremes, falling in love can cause psychotic behaviours to manifest incertain folk. And becoming aroused,
as people frequently do when in love, or evenwhen they are merely 'in lust', can
make the situation much worse.

Human beings
are often very much at the mercy of their glandular secretions, and some people can expect a roller-coaster trip
for themselves, and thus so can any partner along for that particular ride.

Dopamine

Dopamine is
frequently the main culprit. This chemical, a monoamine neurotransmitter, is created in several areas of the
brain for good measure.

It is
released in response to certain stimuli, including sexual arousal. It's a reward dished out by the brain
for getting aroused in the first place, which clearly some people
just don't deserve.

Usually
when feelings of arousal and intense affection occur, dopamine is ejected from nerve cells in the brain in
copious amounts and everybody feels rather good.

Dopamine
is always the substance released in the brain as a 'reward' and can be stimulated to release as a learned
response, which in itself can be addictive in nature.

There are
those, however, who produce more dopamine than average and this can create problems that can range from slightly
invasive to downright sinister in nature.

The high
dopamine levels cause an extreme addiction to the object of love and adoration, along with anxiety, fear and
obsession which can become very intense and cause strange behaviour, such as stalking.

It's a
chemical attack on the body.

Barking Mad

Certain
drugs have a strong action on dopamine production, including cocaine and methamphetamine, which can obviously
cause further complications. Alcohol and nicotine also raise levels.

This sort
of activity can lead some people to become 'rabbit boilers', such as the one portrayed in what I have been told
on good authority was a rather bad movie, and no good can come of such atrocities, apart from the possibility of
a tasty, filling stew for those so inclined.

That's why
people use the phrase 'madly in love'. It can be similar to a state of insanity, which people who are not madly in love can understandably find extremely irritating, even sometimes
worrying.

Some
people just shouldn't be together.

Wotta
Tripp has had to assume for the purposes of this article that the reader is mentally sound, has dopamine
production occurring within normal ranges and is not a boiler of
lagomorphs.

Is It All Bad
News?

It may
sound like it, but really there is so much people fail to realise about love.

There are
different types of love, and many people are not aware of most of them. The love on offer is usually either
instinctive love or emotional love. The love that lasts is called 'conscious love'.

Hormonally
driven, instinctive love may not last, and it certainly won't if partners don't regularly work together on their
relationship.

Emotional
love is self-serving and almost always short-lived.

Good
chemistry is necessary between people, but so are mutual respect and similar values as well as having several
interests in common.

The good
news is that you can develop conscious love if you wish to. This is an enlightened love that isn't dependent on
hormonal secretions and can be permanently sustained.

Wotta
Tripp is not here to teach you how, but she advises that you research'conscious
love'and
study tantra as well.

It will
open new doors in your life and inspire you to evolve a little more. It will improve all your relationships and
also your chances of finding and staying with the person who will be right for you.

Try not to
be judgmental of other people's choices. Some people are most peculiar, but they usually deserve love too, and
there is nearly always somebody equally as peculiar waiting in the wings for them.