At the pre-inauguration fundraiser, organized along with several other dinners by food guru Alice Waters, passed hors d'oeuvres included carrots, lettuce and cauliflower — untarnished and raw, delicious in their natural form. Sweet beets had been recently chiseled from Stone Barns' frozen ground, and hog snouts left over from slaughter were used as a garnish on a plate of Maine sea scallops.

I mean, really, who seriously uses pig noses as garnish? Is that supposed to indicate resourceful use of leftover body parts? Now, if they wanted to get really creative (and I warn you, this is gross), they should have garnished with pig penises which are shaped like corkscrews.

Susie is not amused. Well, she would be not amused if she weren't digging into some very tasty apples.