However, there will be some genuinely decent calls from left field which would be worth considering for the World Cup. After all, a 23 man squad doesn’t pick itself and there will always be some players who don’t deserve to be left at home.

So, lets run through the spicy options, and the mundane nearly-men who should not get near the side.

The scale for this is measured in seats on the plane, obviously:

Rogue and outlandish <—- 💺💺💺💺💺—-> Nailed on selection

Here we go.

Jack Wilshere

Jack Wilshere has enjoyed a good run in the Arsenal team after returning from injury. (Getty Images)

Club: Arsenal

Age: 26

Caps: 34

Form this season: One goal in 19 Premier League appearances, two assists

He’s recovered full fitness and has played well in patches this season, to his credit. He’s not in glittering form and is in fact in contract negotiations with Arsenal, demanding money the Gunners no longer believe he is worth. He may leave Arsenal in the summer, and in so many ways he is a player at a crossroads.

Last season he looked perfectly average at Bournemouth and he’s worked hard to show moments of brilliance at Arsenal again this season. Critics will say, on form, he doesn’t warrant a place in the current squad – which is how Southgate claims to pick his side.

However, he does benefit from being an attacking playmaker and a technically gifted midfielder, the likes of which England find themselves in short supply. There are midfielders in England in better form with better numbers this season (Lingard, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Alli, Shelvey, Albrighton etc), but Wilshere is a household name for his role and seems likely to get into the squad on the promise of a few lovely touches or a 25 yard strike again.

Likelihood: 💺💺💺💺💺

Southgate seems to like him when he’s in full fitness, and so he will likely find himself on a seat to Russia.

Andy Carroll

Andy Carroll of West Ham United celebrates against Stoke City on 16 April 2018. (Catherine Ivill/Getty Images)

Club: West Ham

Age: 29

Caps: 9

Form this season: 3 goals in 13 appearances

*Shudder*. Andy Carroll is back in the conversation again.

Fans of Allardyce-ball, crosses, and 4-4-2 are a full-throated choir of praise for the big man after his equaliser in the dying minutes against Stoke on Monday.

Let’s be clear and cut this madness out now – while he has hit some sort of form and returned from injury, he has only scored three league goals in thirteen games and is contending with Harry Kane, Jamie Vardy, Marcus Rashford, and Raheem Sterling (Ed. note: AND CROUCHY!), to name a few of England’s infinitely more dangerous front line options.

Carroll does bring something different, of course, in size and physicality, but that same size and physicality hasn’t kept West Ham out of a relegation battle and Kane can score headers too. England’s World Cup formula for success is not found by putting it on Carroll’s bonce.

Likelihood: 💺

But if he does go he’ll score the winner in the final and I’ll get his face tattoo’d across my chest.

Ruben Loftus-Cheek has recovered well from injury and has played well for Crystal Palace this season. He’d probably like more goals and assists, but he’s adaptable and technically gifted and can play in most roles centrally. His versatility to put in a shift defensively and also spark counterattacks and control play, means he would be a useful addition to the England squad. At 22-years-old, he’s just starting to realise his potential, and it’d be worth bringing him for some youthful positivity.

Likelihood: 💺💺

It’s a shame, but he’s probably going to find himself outside the squad, unless he bags a few braces, thanks to the aura surrounding Jack Wilshere, mainstays like Dele Alli, Jordan Henderson, and versatile options like Eric Dier and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.

He’s had a breakout season and has been included in the most recent England squads of late, with four ‘keepers competing for the No 1 shirt. Unfortunately for Pope, he has emerged as Jack Butland and Jordan Pickford are approaching peak powers. His falling behind them in the pecking order is, sadly, understandable.

His zero errors leading to goals this season in the league is obviously fantastic and far surpasses Joe Hart’s four (the same number of clean sheets Hart has managed in 18 appearances). Pope is in the top three of English ‘keepers and Joe Hart is not anymore.

However, Hart has 75 England caps in an inexperienced England squad and for that reason will be selected ahead of Pope, no matter how susceptible he is to errors.

Likelihood: 💺💺

Hart will be in Russia, and will not see a minute of game time. He will do a lot of lovely shouting from the bench and maybe kick a ball boy in pure passion.

Joe Gomez

Joe Gomez in action for Liverpool. (Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)

Club: Liverpool

Age: 20

Caps: 3

Form this season: Eight clean sheets and two assists in 21 Premier League matches

The precociously talented and calm defender was in the squad until his injury and has been recovering until now. He has precious little time to convince Gareth Southgate he is back to full fitness and capable of the replicating his performance against Brazil, during which he arguably put Neymar in his back pocket.

Alongside Harry Maguire, John Stones and newly-converted centre-back Kyle Walker (who should be simply playing right wing back, but we’ll leave it to Gareth, won’t we) he’s among the best options England have at centre-half.

Likelihood: 💺💺💺💺

If fit and back to form, he makes the squad. Don’t talk to me about James Tarkowski ahead of him, just don’t.

Fulham’s boy wonder, one of our own. The teenage prodigy has been lighting up Craven Cottage for two seasons now despite his early years, turning himself from a left-back into a precocious attacking talent on the left wing. His ability to find space in the area as well as the corner of the net has drawn interest from Tottenham, Liverpool and both the Manchester big clubs.

He’s also been showered in awards recognition. Player of the month in the Championship under both the PFA and the EFL in January, he’s also recently picked up five big awards – named Championship Player of the Season, Young Player of the Season, Apprentice of the Year, and named in the Team of the Season (for the second season running) and EFL Club Developed XI at the PFA awards this month. He also became the first Championship player to be nominated for the PFA Young player of the Year awards, alongside players like Dele Alli, Harry Kane and Raheem Sterling.

In 2017, he featured in the European Under 19 Championship team of the tournament at the age of 16, so he’s got international youth tournament experience – where he has excelled.

What we’re saying, is that Ryan Sessegnon is really fantastically talented and is on the crest of a wave. If he does not go up with Fulham this year, he will sign for a major club and have a Premier League career with honours.

He can play comfortably in defence and attack on the left wing, which is fantastic news for the three-at-the-back experimenting Gareth Southgate. It’s not just ludicrous hype to consider him, it may actually make tactical sense to take him as an option at left wing back.

(i Paper Sport)

This kid fears nothing and no-one at the moment and the world is at his feet. Wouldn’t you want a player like that in the dressing room?

Likelihood: 💺

He’s too young and too exciting for Southgate, who would sooner call on Danny Rose, Ryan Bertrand, Ashley Young, Aaron Cresswell, Luke Shaw, Leighton Baines, Fabian Delph, and James Milner (out of retirement). All of whom have been playing Premier League football. He won’t go, understandably.

Jonjo Shelvey

Jonjo Shelvey of Newcastle United celebrates scoring his side’s first goal at The King Power Stadium on 7 April 2018 in Leicester.(Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images)

Club: Newcastle

Age: 26

Caps: 6

Form this season: One goal, two assists in 25 Premier League games

Enjoying a renaissance under Rafa Benitez at Newcastle, his passing has been fantastic off both feet and his ability to start a counterattack is fearsome. His ability to find Dwight Gayle 60 metres away is so strong at present you’d almost advocate taking them as a hail mary double act. A double sub at 60 minutes. “Ping it, Jonjo!”

However, Southgate has previously insisted he’s not to the style England play: “I think Jonjo is a different type of player. He plays deeper, receives very deep, plays almost in a quarterback position for his club. We were needing something a little bit different for these games.”

Likelihood: 💺

Behave. It’d be wonderful if he got in on a direct swap for Jake Livermore (who shouldn’t be anywhere near the squad by the way), but it won’t happen, will it? He’ll get the nod for England in the post-summer friendlies following our group stage exit trying to play beautiful football against Panama, by which time we will have fully devolved to Carroll-ball.

Alfie Mawson

Alfie Mawson of Swansea City celebrates as he scores their first goal against Leicester City at Liberty Stadium on 12 February 2017. (Michael Steele/Getty Images)

Club: Swansea

Age: 24

Caps: 0

Form this season: Nine clean sheets, two goals, one assist in 33 Premier League appearances

He’s played very well this season for the up and down Swans. His passing range is impressive and two goals and one assist is a handy little bump for a centre-half. Mawson is calm on the ball and has helped his side keep nine clean sheets. However, they have also conceded 46 goals this season while he’s been playing.

He stands no chance of being picked ahead of players like Stones, Maguire, Gomez (if fit), Dier, and Walker, and finds himself in competition with players like Tarkowski and Cahill for the 23rd man spot.

Likelihood: 💺

He’s playing well, but honestly there’s just too much competition for his place.

Fabian Delph

Fabian Delph of Manchester City against Manchester United on 7 April 2018. (Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)

Club: Manchester City

Age: 28

Caps: 9

Form this season: One goal, one assist in 18 Premier League appearances

His reinvention as a wing back under Pep Guardiola has been magnificent in the absence of Benjamin Mendy. He’s been relied upon and thrived and now looks at home in the position, leading to growing calls for his inclusion in the England squad.

However, there are others hitting their stride in this position. Ashley Young is also a new convert, arguably performing as well defensively, if not better. Ryan Bertrand is consistent and Danny Rose remains highly rated by Southgate, if kept out of the Spurs side by Ben Davies. It’d be nice to see Delph’s inclusion, if understandable that it may not happen.

Likelihood: 💺 💺 💺

It comes down to whether Southgate thinks he’s better than Ashley Young and Danny Rose for the job in hand. At present Southgate seems to think not.

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