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Recent Posts: ariadneslittleworld

One time, I was asked: how can it be possible to transmute pain into poetry? I was stupefied by the question. But it made me conceive. How can one write such good poetry out of torment? I have already found the answer to this question. By the time of affliction and anguish of my affection, […]

I mentioned in my last entry that I have resigned officially from work and this is my 2nd day of being officially unemployed. I have watched the movies I missed – thank goodness for torrents. And just now, i just got off the phone ( audio call from Skype), it was an initial interview for online teaching and yea, I passed. I am now scheduled for a technical check of my home office, if I meet their requirement, then I am on for a demonstration. This is the same feeling I got when I first applied for the same post, except of course that now is different because I do not have to be somewhere else but home. Not that I am bothered because I have prepared for this, but God yeah, I want to pass.

I am also waiting for my client interview with one of the top rated website for a home base job. I’m kind of bored and I want to be productive. I don’t want to be busy with non productive things anymore.

I could never cheat on anyone. It’s the type of mistake and wrong doing that I couldn’t live with. Knowing that you destroyed someone’s trust is bad, but destroying someone’s perspective on love is far worse.

To you,

I know we tend to be vulnerable at times. We are fragile even. It doesn’t change the fact that we can become powerful too.

First, I am sorry that I am hating you as of this writing. Because of you, the man I love has no believe in love and what joy it can bring to our lives. He would not believe in the goodness of having someone taking care of him. He is too mad and too strong. He is capable of not caring at all. He is selfish that it breaks my heart to pieces.

I may not know the reason why you left him. But it turned the man I love to something that gives pain into my chest. I know it isn’t fair to blame you, but you are still the reason why he would not trust again.

Or maybe not.

I have been thinking about it lately. Maybe, it isn’t because of you that he doesn’t want to love again. Maybe, I am not the one who would make him feel alive again. Maybe, I am not enough for him.

Maybe, he meant well. Maybe, he was just too nice.

I was loving him in silence hoping that he’d wake up one day realizing that he loves me and everything is worth-risking.

This was captured in Botolan when we had our first ocular visit for our outreach program.

This is my first entry after hybernating forever. Anyways, this has nothing to do with travel or food. This is quite different because I am blogging about the things we [gino&I] fight about a lot.

1. Indifference. So have you ever been in a relationship with someone who has the same character as yours? I bet, most of you would answer “No.” So do I. In a span of 16 months, Gino and I would fight over some petty things because of our indiferrences. There were times when we were just talking and someone said something that makes one pretty upset and there you go, one shows lack of interest and no effort in talking things through. Sad life. Days go by without us talking.

I hope this goes straight to his heart and mind.

2. Facebook App. Who wouldn’t feel hurt when the partner has got a lot of time with this f**ing unbelievable app? So insulting and disgusting. Like what the hell am I even here for?

3. Bossy. I tend to act like a boss to my boyfriend and I don’t even intend to. Sometimes, it just comes naturally. I feel guilty as soon as I realize that I am becoming too much you know. I wish he would understand that.

4. Mood swings. I am a woman and I go through hell when I am getting my period. So hell I share with someone who would get in the way. Since I am with him most of the time, he gets too much attention from me. But it isn’t the attention every man would wish to receive from the love of their lives. So this must be the third reason that made ME the problem in our relationship and brace yourselves as we go along. Lol.

Heroes evolve is such a new happening in our relationship.

5. Gaming. Competition. Okey. Let me be clear. We are playing these games because we want to. But there are days I get so irritated because it feels like he is competing instead of just enjoying the game with me. So whenever I hear him trash talking or bragging, I just keep quiet and I fo AFK ( Away From Keyboard)

I can go on and on listing the things we fight about or the hate we feel whenever we fight but you know, in a strong and intimate relationship, there are times when it is really hard to deal with your partner. But what’s important is that you still want to be with each other. And that you still love one another. That at the end of the day, when all is said and done, you still see a bright future together.

I may not have it listed above but my idiosyncracies are what’s keeping us from living just a simple life. I don’t know and I can’t fight it during my PMS. I am just so lucky that the man I am in a relationship with is patient and kind.

Ow. By the way, I am blogging this because it is our 16th monthsary. I am expecting more petty fights in the future but I always trust and believe that the love we have for each other is more than the pride, or more than the hate we can feel towards each other.

I know this someone. Okey, he isn’t just someone. He is special. If not, none of these would’ve mattered to me right?

How do I survive dealing with the kind?

Sigh. When I sigh, that means retreat for me. There is nothing more fulfilling than showing diplomacy and do not talk when you are tempted to retaliate with words.

Look them in the eye with no emotion. There is nothing more satisfying than giving them what they deserve. They deserve no answer and a blank stare. I was once an aggressive and it didn’t do me any good. If there is one thing I learned, it’s to smile and to make them feel that you don’t care enough to respond. It kills the enemy.

Show them how the game is done. One way or the other, the negative person will learn that they are not high and mighty as they think they are. They are difficult to deal with because they have insecurities and they will never tell you that. They are strong but they aren’t unbreakable. Keep your cool.

These aren’t enough but you know how I hate battling for something that isn’t even worth thinking about.

I can not remember a time when I wasn’t there for him. He is the man that I have always wanted to love. He is strong, so much that he became indestructible. He has walls that I can’t come apart. I can’t even get in. One time, in my solitude, I thought of being his girl. But yet in my solitude, it permits me not.

What is it with him that I am terrified of him? Why can’t I tell him just how much I adore him?

He is not a typical guy who would hug you when you are sad. Not the man who would let you touch him when he is mad. He’s not the type of man who adores the simplest things you do. Certainly not the one sorry for his behavior.

He is romantic in some way. In his own godless way. I cannot tell whether or not he likes me. One day, he’s sweet, the next day, he’s so cold. When he’s near, I can’t look at him.

When he’s far, I can’t stop thinking about him. He is so much of a man that I have always wanted him to be but he is too selfish at times. Too selfish that he forgets that I, too, have feelings.

I have forgotten what it’s like to be man-touched. Or be loved. Or be longed for. Or be cared for. He loves mystery so much that he became one (borrowed from Papertowns). I was trying not to care for him, at least for a day, but it’s hard not too.

How can I not care for him when the word care for me tells me his name?

I just posted my blog few days ago about Tarak, First Time Ever. Yes. I was just there last February. And I came back.

This is quite a different story. This was my revenge climb as I was not able to summit it the last time because of the strong wind. My body could not take anymore of the cold. This is Jose‘s mother mountain. We were supposed to be climbing Mt. Daguldol in San Juan, Batangas and camped in Laiya Beach but some things really happen. So changed of plans. I chose this mountain for Jose’s first climb because this is my personal favorite. And of course I was after finishing this mountain as well. It works for the both of us! Yay! This was also Josh‘s come back climb after Mt. Tibig in Lobo, Batangas last December. This was his first climb this year. What a good way to start.

Of all mountains, (I’m not the only one proud to say it) Tarak captivated the whole of my being. From the rainforest,tricky, steep, sloppyassault to summit trail, challenging terrain and the pristine river, It is simply amazing! If you can declare your love for mountain, this one’s mine. My declaration of love for Tarak!

So I’ll start with the break down of the expenses:

The bus in Alas Asin going to Manila is up until 6 in the evening, or ’til 7pm if it’s Sunday. In the event that you’ll miss the bus at 6pm then you can go to Balanga Terminal. It’s 1hour 30 minutes away from Alas Asin. Bus Fare is P48.00. Please don’t ask the conductor of the buses as they tend to say P50 for backpackers and climbers. (REALLY!)

For Contacts, here are some of the numbers of the people who can help you:

Nanay Cording

9174723978

Cris(Guide)

9481206687

Darwin(Guide)

9483496829

Ate Beth (Guide)

9495869556

Please note that Guide fee varies: Overnight- P800. Day Hike- P800, addition will be up to you but it is mandatory to give more.

The adventure starts here:

12:15am – Departure (Pasay)

03:07am – Arrival, Registration at BRGY Hall. In our case, we did not get our own guide. (Ahem, I guided this group)

3:20am – Start ascent

5:35am – Papaya River (Rest, Take pictures, Chicha)

6:25am – Assault to Summit

7:20am – rest/ take 10 minutes, picture taking

7:30am – Resume

8:30am – Ridge (Finally!)

Breakfast

Rest

Picture Taking

Summit (15 minutes)

10:25am – Start Descent

11:35am – Papaya River

14:00pm – Start Descent to Nanay Cording’s

16:00pm – Arrival at Nanay Cording’s

We had Buko Juice and chicha

Took a nap (For an hour! Holy Mackerel!)

In this case, since we are already tired and muscles are swollen, we took a tricycle that will bring us back to jump-off. It’s a 15 minute walk by the way. But when you’re tired, 15 minutes is the longest walk ever! Tricycle fee is P150.

This adventure was a real fun. I actually listed a lot of things we lack of and things I learned from them. Here:

Famine/ Hunger– Yes. As hard as it seems, we experienced food scarcity. I already brought packed lunch and my friends had their own. Imagine continuous walking for 6 hours in the woods and you have nothing but a starved tummy? Ow-Em-Gi!

Dehydration– I thought I am gonna past out because we lack water. Imagine walking a challenging terrain and assault of 90 degrees up to the summit and the only option is to push through because you are already there? Good thing, I saw a group of men and when I ask them if they can give me water, they did not hesitate for a second. Oh, talk about nice people! Bless their hearts.

Sleep Deprivation– This does not apply to me but to my friends, yes. They were both from work and they were not able to sleep prior to this climb. I was able to sleep for 7 hours. But I was still sleepy and if going down isn’t mandatory, I would’ve stayed there sleeping for the rest of the day!

You see, this mountain is classified as a Major Climb. This is 1,130MASL that we’re talking about. Day hiking it is really epic especially for our friend who just did his very first climb. Poor Jose. Plus he didn’t know I am LOLing him here. 😛