I've never dated and I'm wondering what makes guys not to want pursuing a relationship with me?

Well for 23 years, I've never dated nor have ever been asked by someone to date me, it's pretty upsetting especially that I have tried to get close to some guys whom I liked but they wind up pushing me away. My problem is I think I'm too nice sometimes, I care a lot about I like, but I'm horrible at social interactions. Like I seriously freeze when facing new people, I thought I have a social phobia but I also seem to attract very awkward situations. Anyway once someone gets to know me, they actually start liking me a lot, which makes me happy, but then they suddenly disappear, the second they say they like me or I feel like they started liking me they disappear, and this happened A LOT.Anyway I blamed my weight for it, since my mom keeps saying that since I'm overweight, that pushes men away, but I don't want to be with a person who liked me because I happen to satisfy his weight preferences for the girl he wants or how she looks like.What also sucks, that my friends who ask me for dating advice, they take my advice through and it works like heaven for them, so I feel if I became someone's someone, I'd actually make a good girlfriend. If u thought its probably I come clingy, in fact, I'm not clingy at all, I give men their independence to appreciate mine as well.My flaws, maybe cuz I'm super-talkative, super-analytical, I'm kinda jokative, awkward when faced with strangers & turn up all silent, & lastly, I hate using social media, plus my relationship with my phone sucks.So please you guys, I want your help, I'm in a dire need to know what causes my problems of pushing my crushes away once they actually start liking me, one went away cuz he thought he found my friend whom he thought was better than me, I honestly don't want to feel lower than all girls in the world & I wanna go through the dating world because when I happen to really like a guy, I wanna know how to approach him without him disappearing & me getting sad.

Most Helpful Guy

Sorry, but it's too hard to tell from what you've said, why you haven't met the right guy yet.

It could be that your looks don't appeal to many men in your social circles. That happens.

It could be your personality that is not appealing to the guys you meet. That happens.

It could be both. That's really unfortunate, but that happens too.

It always sounds like really tough advice, but it may be you start moving towards the centre, and become more like the girls more guys like. I'm not for a moment suggesting this is easy or fun, but it can help.

I say this as a guy who needs to take this advice more himself.

Another thing that can be done is to go out and meet a lot more people, in a lot more different situations. This can help too, though I understand doing so would be particularly hard for you.

What Guys Said 3

I want you to know that as a guy I feel for you because I'm in a similar situation of being misunderstood, you just have to ask yourself what did I do wrong to deserve this kind of treatment, did I say something wrong, did I tease or hurt anybody? if you know for yourself you have not done anything do not beat yourself up, you know who you are and you do not need to change and live your life with according to what they say otherwise your not being genuine and true to yourself. If you tend to be the quiet person you just have to accept that most of the people in this society will judge your for something your not because you appear mysterious and they know little about you so they fill in those gaps and think that your depressed, you don't have any friends, your alone and the bullying will start and sadly if you feel that your crushes are pulled away it might be because of those people who talk behind your back and they say bad things about you and your personality.

I totally understand, being misunderstood is the story of my life, but the questions u told me to ask myself are pretty hard to answer, especially when I thought I knew everything about myself, but lately all I get is rejection and self blame followed by extreme confusion. But first step is with me.Thanks for thr advice!!

I can't say which of those it is, it could be a bit of both I guess. I'm in a similar situation myself, and I'm not really sure whether it's my appearance or personality that is my main impediment, I guess you can focusing on working on what you can change (if you want to).

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Anonymous

Come on, stand up and strap on those running shoes.

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