What Is Leading Together:

On Monday mornings at 9am join us for a 10 minute telephone conference which will be record for future reference. This telephone conference will be to discuss hot topics, key issues, and practical tools to helps us all lead a little better. After the 10 minutes Pastor Zach will be available till 9:30am to talk and discuss with those who call (this part will not be recorded.) The 10 minute recording will be posted to www.nlthrive.org/Leader-Tools.

How To Join The Call

Dial-in Number: (712) 775-7035Participant Access Code: 764716

Dates & Topics

8/31 Design your group meeting for life change9/5 Developing community among group members 9/12 Subgrouping for deeper connections9/19 Ask questions that get a response9/26 What are you doing to renew and recharged10/3 5 Things healthy small group do well​10/10 5 Ways to avoid a lame group prayer time10/17 4 Strategies for improving your group attendance10/24 5 Easy wayst to make your group fun​10/31 Developing honesty among group members

Someone once asked random people what is the most valuable thing you have ever lost? Here are some of their responses:

Respect for my parents.

1964 1/2 Ford Mustang, I let it sit in my parent’s driveway too long, and never transferred the title back to me, and it was sold one day.

My virginity.

My grandmother's diamond and pearl ring she gave to me.

My mind.

My complete set of Mage comic books autographed by Matt Wagner.

Nikon camera on a train.

At least 20 of my favorite CD's...on a BART train in SF. This was in the days before Ipods and I was carrying them around in disc wallet thing...some lady sat down next to me (on top of them) and I didn't realize until I had already gotten off the train.... I was devastated!!

My dad gave me his wedding band from when my parents were married.

I went on a 2 week vacation to all these way cool spots and got all these sweet pictures and at the end of the vacation I ended my cousins wedding on the east coast. Was trying to figure out how to take the flash off and here I accidentally deleted like 50 pictures; some of the memorial moments I've had.

When you ask good questions it is the most valuable thing you can do for you group.​Three Secrets to Great Questions Secret #1: Ask open-ended questions!

Avoid the yes-no, true-false, multiple-choice questions (“Is Jesus the sheep or the shepherd in this parable?”)

Avoid questions that let people off the hook with a simple “Sunday school answer” (“Why did Jesus die on the cross?”)

Ask questions that require people to have to share some actual thoughts and feelings (“Which of the challenges the author mentioned has been the most difficult one for you in this past year? Where are some ways that you have done well in overcoming that challenge?”)

Secret #2: Ask follow-up questions!

Many people default to trying to stay pretty surface level with their levels, so get in the habit of not letting them off the hook—ask more follow-up questions.

Here are some examples of good follow-up questions for short/simple answers people give:

What makes you say that?

How do you feel about that? o How do you think that would’ve affected you if you had been living in the time of Jesus?

How would you explain your answer to a non-Christian friend or neighbor?

Try to get at the core of what people are really trying to say.

Secret #3: Make sure the rubber hits the road!

I often tell my small group that by the end of the night, we need to make sure we apply what we’re discussing to our current lives— otherwise we just leave group a little smarter, rather than with changed lives!

Whatever it is you’re discussing, make sure to end with some application questions. Here are some examples:

So what in the world does that have to do with our lives today?

How can you change your perspective from today on regarding that issue?

What one thing can you do differently in this next week to start living that out?

Some groups will add some accountability to that last question, recording what members share, and asking them to report back the next week

It happens. Lets talk about what to do when the level of your group commitments falls too low. Here are five things.

Don’t take it personally.People do not stick in a group for many different reasons. They were only available for six weeks for a group. Work or kids schedules change. The group was not the right group for them. I hear never few stories of someone leaving a group because of the leader. I know our tendency is to blame ourselves however I would strongly urge you to give yourself grace.

If someone chooses to leave during the first six weeks.When we start these new connection group, people have all the good intention to try a group a group for six weeks, but sometimes people are not able to fulfill that commitment. If this does happen to you, most of the time they will contact you personally outside the group either by phone or email. I would encourage you to share with that individual they always welcome back to your group and I would share with the rest of the group the individual decision in a way that is respectful to leave and helpful to the group as a whole.

Invite New People To Your GroupIf you have lost a couple of people in your group for whatever reason. Ask the group who else could we invite to be a part of our group. I would imagine a couple of people may know someone else who is not in a group that would love to be a part of a group.

Plan what’s next.It is ok when groups do not work out past the initial six weeks. If your group does not work out past the initial six weeks, it not an indicator of your leadership or the important role community plays in your life and group member lives. I would encourage you to sign for the next Group Connect, join another existing group or look for a Life Class starting in a couple of weeks.

Talk to your Coach.This is another great conversation to have with your coach. Remember they want to be your biggest cheerleader; they are not going to judge you. They will be able to give you perspective, encouragement, and wisdom you need to move forward.

Before Your First Group Meeting . . .I are excited about the new groups that were started from Group Connect this past week. I am most excited for two things: First, for new host that will host their groups for the next six weeks. I am excited to see what God will do in your and through your life as you host your groups. Second, for new people who connecting in groups for the very first time. I believe one of the core values of spiritual growth is connecting with others. I am excited and praising God for what He has in store for our new groups over the next six weeks. I want to recommend three things to you can do before your first meeting to help your group start of on the right foot.

Connect with your coachYour coach is there to be your biggest cheerleader and support through these six weeks. It has been my experience the hosts that connect with their host over the next six weeks have the best experience. Remember your coaches role is to support, encourage, and pray for you along this journey. USE THEM!!!

PrayThis may seem obvious, but pray for your group! Pray for yourself as your prepare to host the group, pray for each group member by name, group for your group time together. I believe God wants your group experience to a great experience.​

Follow Up With Your Group​Make it a point to call all of your members the week before your first meeting. Do not settle for voicemail and do not just email them. Be enthusiastic when you call! Get yourself ready to call. It is amazing how even a quick phone call reminder will help your nerves begin to settle.

I believe doing these three things will your first group experience be successful.

A common question for many small groups is, “What do we do with the kids?” Some people think that children in the Group are a blessing, for others having kids present can be distracting, so it’s important that every Group member clearly understands the arrangements that their group has made for kids. There are typically three options for every group that faces this question of kids:

Include the kids in your Group allowing them to answer questions, read Scripture, and pray.

Arrange for childcare.

Drop the kids off at your church. Check with your church to see if group childcare is provided.

The information that follows will help your group jointly determine what steps will be taken to address the question of childcare. Because the safety of our children is so important, here are two important things to consider when arranging child care for your Small Group:

When Children are “on site” consider having them supervised in an adjacent room with the door open.

When Children are “off site” (i.e. another house) consider having them supervised by at least two responsible individuals at least one of whom is an adult.

Keeping these two things in mind, it is also important to plan ahead and make the right childcare choices for your group so that childcare will not become a burden. When deciding what to do for your group childcare, these are seven important questions for each group member to weigh in on:

What is the agreed upon childcare approach for our group? (Possible Answers)

We hire a babysitter for the whole group

Group members take turns caring for children

Intergenerational—we include all children

No children are present except for nursing infants

Other options _____________________________​

Where should our group childcare be? (Possible Answers)

In the same house as the Group, but in a separate room

At another location (a babysitter’s, neighbor’s, Group member’s house, etc.)

Wherever individual parents can arrange i

If applicable, who will pay for childcare? (Possible Answers)

All of the members who have children

The whole group passes around a hat

No one—it’s free

What resources will be provided for childcare providers? (Possible Answers)

Family friendly videos such as Veggie Tales or Disney

Books for different age groups

Games and toys for different age groups

Coloring/activity books

Other options _____________________________

What groups or individuals are available for childcare? (Possible Answers)

Teenagers children of Group members

“Grandparents”—older family or friends who are willing to help

A rotation of members from our own group

A rotation of members from other groups that meet on a different night of the week, and then we return the favor

Other options _____________________________

Who is responsible for lining up the childcare? (Possible Answers)

The Group leader

A designated person in each group (possibly the apprentice)

Other options _____________________________

What, if anything, would we like our children to be taught? (Possible Answers)