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Who am I and what am I doing here?

Great question. My name is Beth and I have started this blog in order to track my journey to better health.
I have PCOS, have been diagnosed since I was 16. Getting that diagnoses when I was 16 didn’t really mean much to me. This was the 80’s and the only course of action was to stick me on birth control pills to regulate my cycle. I thought that was pretty cool because it made me feel so grown up to be taking the pill.
I have struggled with my weight since I was a wee one. I didn’t come from a family with good genes or good habits either. I struggled and worked hard to loose weight only to gain it back later down the road. That has been my life, up and down the weight loss roller coaster since I was 7. It has defined a segment of who I am. Always reading and obsessing on the next breakthrough that would be my golden ticket.
I’m a bit tired from trying so hard and wish I didn’t feel like I had to try so hard. Maybe that is more of a psychological battle, a battle of wills. This feeling can’t be to far off than what an addict might feel like. A continued repetition of behavior despite adverse consequences. This sounds like my mother and do not want to be like her. If I could just remember that and use it as a mantra maybe it would help but like my mother, food has a very familiar and comforting effect on my despite the adverse consequences.