Thursday, February 3, 2011

That 'what am I doing' feeling....

There have been quite a few times in my life when I have done things or gotten into situations where there is this sinking sensation and the only thought in my mind is 'What in the world am I doing?'. In those situations I often want to duck under my desk or just roll up in a ball and wait out the situation and re-emerge when it is over.

But there is also another part of me that wants to lean into the new challenge and see where it will take me. I have heard of this referred to as 'leaning over your skies'. It is in those moments where I often feel the least qualified or totally not ready for whatever is coming - that is when the memories are made, later on laughs are shared, and it is talked about.

I have had this feeling with many of the obvious things in life - falling in love, getting married, our kids, those are all things that I have been very unprepared for, and yet are what is now my essence of life.

There have been other areas of life where this feeling has also happened especially around leading groups of people. The teams that I lead at work are looking to me for direction and guidance and there are times that I really have no clue what the next move should be. The great thing is that I am surrounded by rock stars and we have created a culture of allowing ideas to flow freely and therefore we often get to the right spot on time.

Well, there is another one of those moments that has occurred. This is around teaching a class. Cheri and I have been friends for awhile and she has let me mess with her blog on a regular basis and also been someone to bounce blogging ideas around with. Well after many discussions we are teaching a blogging basics class tonight. My hope is that we are able to present something of value to those who come, and that they leave with a feeling of empowerment and ready to start conversations about their interests and lives.

But I am nervous. I know in the big scheme of things this is nothing compared to raising children or big decisions on a large project that will help a client. But there is something about when someone gives you their most precious resource - time - that you want to make sure it is worth it.