7.13.2005

Modem-like Noises

I have tons of enemies. Did you know that people like me so much that they hate me? It's weird, that I am so likeable (and lickable) but have enemies everywhere I look.

Just yesterday I was swimming in a quiet pool when I realized there was an enemy at a nearby lawn chair. He was talking on his cell phone, letting his allies know about my location and position. He sneared at me when I swam near him.

"Hey buddy- are you using that cell phone?""What do you think, asshole? It's up to my ear, isn't it? I'm talking into it, aren't I?""Well can't I just borrow that cell phone for an underwater cell phone chat?""Are you joking, kid? You can't use a cell phone underwater.""FAX YOUR PENIS TO THE DEVIL!"

After I said that I did a dolphin5000 dizzy-dive out of the water and sliced him with my sword.