I honestly don't even know what to think of this story. According to Page Six, Ferris Bueller's Day Off star — a.k.a., the "Bueller...Bueller" teacher — Ben Stein is caught in an alleged sexting scandal after a 24-year-old pregnant performance artist named Tanya Ma told the gossip column that Stein requested racy pictures of her and begged to "touch" her.

"It’s much more than sexting, cyber-escorting or being a sugar daddy — it’s unhealthy and toxic behavior that needs to be exposed," Ma told Page Six of the actor. According to her, she met Stein when she worked as an escort in Chicago. From the gossip column:

“He said he’d read my blog, and I gave him my contact information,” she said. “We texted for about four months, then he asked me to send him pictures. He said he was very captivated and he just wanted to remember me. After a while, he started asking for more racy photos.”

Making the situation even stranger: Stein, who is Yale-educated and a former speechwriter for President Richard Nixon — not to mention, married — wrote a strange column earlier this month describing "beautiful women" he'd met while on a speaking tour around California. According to the Daily Mail:

In a column for The American Spectator, the former New York Times writer, who has been married to attorney Alexandra Denman for 45 years, wrote about women he met on a recent speaking tour in California.

Among them was an 'absolute knockout young Eurasian woman', who Stein also referred to as ‘Lucia’ and a former ‘call girl’.

Ma, who also sent Page Six screenshots of her alleged conversations with Stein in which he apparently asked to "touch her" despite her being pregnant, said that she initially thought Stein was interested in her as a "fledging author," but grew uncomfortable with his requests.

In response, Stein has reportedly denied Ma's claims to Page Six, saying: "She is a person I have only met for less than five minutes at an airport. I have never touched her, I have never had any sexual contact with her. I should get a medal for helping this woman. This is a person who appealed to me for money. She said she would send me some examples of her performance art. Some of those examples were racy, and some were not. I just don’t get what I have done wrong. She is mad at me because she wanted more money."