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Invasion Of The Sperm Snatchers

Several online articles have appeared recently regarding “sperm snatching,” including this one on Big Think. It cites a column in the Daily Mail by Liz Jones as well as another post on Big Think about sperm for sale. The author tackles the concept of Dynamic (or Time) Inconsistency as it relates to rising number on deceptive pregnancies: it is the economic concept that preferences can change over time. What may seem like the optimal choice in period one (not wanting the father’s money or support during pregnancy, for example) is not necessarily the optimal choice in period two (after the baby is born).

According to the Daily Mail article, a 2001 survey showed that 42% of women would lie about their contraceptive use if they wanted to get pregnant and their partner did not. Author Jones describes how, over the course of two relationships, she snuck into the bathroom in the middle of the night in order to inseminate herself using sperm rescued from condoms, despite the fact that both men had made their unwillingness to become fathers very, very clear to her. She tried to sperm snatch, but was unsuccessful.

In Big Think’s related article E-Sperm For Sale: Man Not Included, writer Pamela Haag discusses the sperm trade, and how children are “the new spouses,” the emotional and romantic anchors of many a modern family, NOT men. She ultimately advocates for effective male contraception since sperm snatching is becoming more rampant.

I’m disgusted by this concept of sperm snatching, but hey, I’m not a woman trying to get pregnant. Would love to hear your reactions below.

Comments:

1

Lisa

I read this article recently and am also disgusted. The author tries to act like this is something women routinely do-steal sperm. That’s her own craziness- most women are not this deluded and self-entitled. I’m so glad her plan didn’t work. I can only imagine the poor child who would have to live with such a selfish woman. No sympathy here.

I believe it’s completely unethical and selfish to do such a thing. 42%… really? Have women gone mad?… what happened to respecting other people’s choice not to want to have children with you? I think these people are crazy

Honestly, I think about this phenom all of the time. Nearly all of my friends, have had children due to some sort of “accident.” These friends, most of whom ended up married, are all young professionals. At 32 years old, I have NEVER once had a pregnancy scare, which had led me to wonder how so many women get “accidentally” pregnant and then married.

However, “forgetting” to take the pill and failing to mention it to one’s partner is a whole different ball park than siphoning sperm from a used condom. Stealing sperm is fraudulent and horribly unfair to the father and the potential child. Seriously, go to the sperm bank.

I do think that concsiously getting “accidentally” pregnant is deceptive and generally unfair. However, I think it has increasingly become a method for how my generation starts families. I am not advocating it nor am I condeming it. It’s just that our culture’s emphasis on careers and indepedence, coupled with increasing school debt and the stagnant economy, has left many of us in a position where we don’t have the time or resources to have a child. On top of that, the divorce rate scares a lot of us and makes us apprehensive to get married or at least apprehensive to have children once we do get married… Considering all of these factors, it often does seem like getting “accidentally” pregnant is the only way that many people would have ever settled down and started a family.

Raising a healthy & happy child isn’t the goal. It’s about obtaining resources without earning resources (through welfare, child-support and alimony.) Through deceitful manipulation (i.e. whimsical divorces/deliberate “accidents”/lying about paternal identity) and the threat/initiation of force (i.e. government guns/garnished wages/imprisonment). They could care less about the well-being of their children, it’s their own damn self-interest that is the #1 priority!

And this is how MOST single mothers are, sure, some are widowed, but most are shamelessly evil. They have kids to enslave a man for the next 20 years. Society will call them brave, righteous and strong for all the suffering they cause.

This is sick. Even if the woman says she ‘doesn’t want his help’, and could afford the child on her own, the child isn’t ONLY HERS. Maybe that man wants to be a part of his children’s life and isn’t ready to committ the time required to have them right now. Maybe he wants his children to all be from the same mother and one that HE chooses. Now, he’ll be forced to pay for and make time for a child that he will surely love, but he will have been forced into it. This is not a way to treat anyone, and any woman who would do this to a man DOES NOT deserve children, or a good man!!! This woman obviously can’t make responsible decisions as an adult, especially ones that affect other’s lives just as much as her own. Any man in his right mind would not choose this woman to be the mother of his children or his wife, I’m sure this lacking in moral character would shine thru in other areas of her life, which would be noticeable to anyone considering her as a long term partner. Good riddance . . .

The woman considering this morally bankrupt form of deception might want to take a leaf out of Evan’s book, and before acting, seriously consider how, if this could be done to women, how they would feel were it done to them. I suspect these women have a negative image of men in general as conscienceless and incapable of love, the logic following that a conscienceless man won’t mind how many children he has, so long as he doesn’t have to care for them…. If my guess is correct, and that is their belief system, they’ll see nothing wrong with stealing a man’s child. But, wait…. if they honestly believed he wouldn’t mind, why not ask his permission…..

Sounds like a sensationalist, one time story, that makes people think this is happening much more often than it really is. I just can’t see any woman planning this much to go through with this would not also take into account other inheritable qualities of the man.

In a society where men are increasingly becoming commitment-phobic, and single women being told not to talk about their desire to start a family for fear of “scaring” a man away, these behaviors come as no surprise.

Men want it all. The love and commitment of a beautiful intelligent woman, yet they are reluctant to give anything of real lasting value back. (I mean marriage and babies). Today’s dating situation is like the prostitution “girlfriend experience” but women are paying the price in the form of wasting their most fertile years (hope, love and self-esteem) on men that won’t commit.

We are being told not to expect anything from a man: good looks, high salary, intelligence, height, athleticism, family-values… Even when we ourselves posess these qualities.

When a tall, handsome, intelligent, athletic man comes along, even when commitment-phobic, I’m sure the temptation (for those women driven to desperation by the aforementioned factor) becomes overwhelming.

Would I steal sperm? No, I couldn’t deal with the guilt of such an immoral act. When the time comes, I will buy sperm, as I can afford to support a family (and nannies) on my salary. However, would I refuse an abortion if I were to accidentally get pregnant? Absolutely not.

I am not “stealing” anyone’s baby. For god sake, it’s a few drips of cum that lands on my backside or wherever during sex! Once it’s on my body or in my mouth, it’s mine. A few drips of body fluid after you’ve worked for his orgasm is hardly a freaking baby!

None of my children have been products of this potential method of fertilization, but if they had been, I’d hardly characterize them as “poor” children of an “entitled” mother. I LOVE my kids, am a pillar of motherly good character in my community, and my kids think I’m awesome. I’ve known friends who’ve had real “accidents” and then resent their accidents and complain about them and can’t wait until they grow up and can get rid of them. I’ve known incredibly entitled type A career women who literally don’t even have time for sex with their husbands and scheduled appointments with their expensive fertility doc to get pregnant when there was no good reason to do so other than it worked better in their schedule and they wanted to try to force a gender (something about spinning the sperm a certain way before insemination). How is it possible that the woman who simply wants a child but hasn’t the money or luck for a real accident is any less of a good mom than the others?

Men these days are more commitment-phobic than ever. Many need a good push to get married and be a dad. There was a time when I was all idealistic in my 20s and thought I’d never manipulate a man to impregnate me or marry me. My friends tried to convince me otherwise, but it took a ton of bad relationships until I realized that trying to move things along didn’t make me an immoral terrible person. I was dealing with the cards I was dealt.

Personally, I never sperm dove to hook in a man. I just wanted the baby in a no strings way, but I don’t judge the woman who is in love and wants to at least try for a family before she’s too old. Being a mom is the best thing in the world.

I was the product of love at first sight, sex the first night, and a somewhat scandalous marital beginning. Did my mom manipulate my dad to get pregnant? Did my dad manipulate my virginal mom into having sex when she was super enamored and not ready? Who cares? It’s none of my or your business. They are still together 44 years later. If one gave the other a little nudge forward, I’m glad to be alive and happy for their happiness together. It’s not for me to judge.

Yes, this is totally despicable and I also question the 42 percent figure. The Daily Mail is kind of known for shoddy “science” reporting.

That being said, I do wonder about the many women who have “accidents” and claim they were on birth control. At 42, I’ve been on the pill since 21 and never even had a scare. Ditto for my friends. Besides, the pill has super-high reliability, when used correctly. I realize there are some women who can’t take it, but in this day and age, there are numerous other good options.

I also wonder about women who would willingly become single moms. It just seems so hard, and it’s usually not the best thing for the child, either. I guess for some women, the urge to have a baby is so strong they really can’t think straight.

First of all, women who do this need a serious ass whipping, right down to the nervous hospital. This is SICK. Attention whores do NOT make good mothers. Secondly, nothing scares me more than this type of woman, as I am a mother of 3 gorgeous boys who are doing quite well with their lives. My (hopefully) saving grace is that I have pounded into them that yes, there are tons of deceptive woman out there dying to get you locked in for good, via babies. BUT there are also great woman with good heads on their shoulders who know a good man when they see one and know how to keep them HONESTLY. So far so good! They are VERY particular in who they choose to date and, thankfully, don’t seem to be very slutty themselves. Gentlemen, dispose of all your used condoms immediately!

Very interesting subject and good post. It seems that so many women now think that a kid can fix a relationship which as a theory is in itself extremely flawed. This is certainly a topic that has guaged a good bit of interest as partners are not willing to look at themselves as the cause for the fault of the relationship.

I just don’t think there is any justification, AT ALL, for this behavior. If you want a baby, and don’t have a baby daddy, get thee to a sperm bank and get artificially inseminated. If you can’t afford to do that, you probably can’t afford a kid. The lack of respect in this act horrifies me.

I’m not buying the 42% figure; especially after just reading an article about the growing number of people in their 20’s and 30’s opting out of parenthood altogether and seeking sterilization. Some of this is due to the fact that they’ve taken a hard look at the brutal economic climate, but also because they’re very concerned about the fact that we’ve reached a world population of 7 billion, and growing. I applaud these young people.

As to Fleur’s comments (#14): Are you kidding me? Haven’t we yet figured out that having a baby with someone is NOT a good strategy for strengthening a relationship, or to “move along” a guy who is reluctant to commit? It’s just such a bad idea on so many levels. Just because your parents lucked out and managed to make a life together successfully doesn’t mean it’s a sound idea, nor is it responsible. And the world is a much different place than it was when your parents were procreating. I’m glad you’re happy to have been born, but advocating tricking a man into parenthood is naive, arrogant, self-centered, and not in the best interest of the child.

I personally know women who openly admitted they went the route of “Woops, it just happened! Guess ya have to marry me now.” None of those marriages have lasted, and why would they? The relationship sprung from either dishonesty or carelessness, resulting in a baby. And as we all know, even planned parenthood can cause huge stress on a relationship.

I’m all for men taking responsibility for birth control and not assuming that the woman will “have that covered.” As I taught my son, if you’re not ready for babies, either don’t have sex (har!) or make sure you’ve taken the necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy. Personally, I’d rather both women and men make their own informed choices about whether to have offspring. Maybe then we would have more babies growing up in supportive homes.

Fleur- Men are not more “commitment-phobic” these days. Perhaps those men simply did not want to marry you, but went on to marry other women. Evan didn’t need a “push” to get married or a “push” to have a baby. He found the right woman and he genuinely wanted those thing. Shame on you, Fleur.

@Lisa I think you are been a bit too harsh on Fluer. You shouldn’t judge her till you have walked a mile in her shoes. Not every man is like Evan, and not every man wants to have kids. Even in this BLOG you will find men like that. If a woman wants a family and she keeps encountering men who don’t share her mindset- she might be tempted to “take the bull by the horn.”

How can a woman “accidently” get pregnant if a guy is taking responsibility for birth control? Why would a guy not use a condom if he doesn’t know and trust the woman’s character?

My mom was dating during the 50s and 60s, before the pill and when guys were the ones who had access to birth control–condoms. A lot of people got married back then because of an “accident.” She said to me in a hushed tone that some of these women got pregnant “on purpose” to snag the guy. In a full voice I said, “How do you get pregnant ‘on purpose’ when you don’t know when you can get pregnant and you personally have no access birth control?” She didn’t have an answer of course.

All of her other dating stories are about guys trying to get some in what she calls “sneaky” ways. You do the math.

Anyone who tries to justify this stuff is mentally disturbed. If a man used a condom, he made it clear his intent on not becoming a father. Comitment-phobe is a BS term. If women created a hypergamous model where the top men get sex without trying, then they are given no incentive to commit. And why should they? what can you offer that someone else won’t. the last few decades of women have helped create this mess sorry to say. now the chickens are coming home. the top dogs don’t want to marry or have kids, they got it too easy. the beta’s are waking up to the fact they got played and avoided during their sexual peaks and now are targets by the older crowd of women who chased alpha’s and failed to keep him leashed down. as Evan said in a previous post, you need to re-examine what you will offer him into his life to make it worth committing, which generally means not making his life a living hell or making it more trouble than it’s worth to remain single. he doesn’t care if you got 2 masters, a phd, drive a mercedes, wear pants to you law firm, are independent and could live without a man. <-these aren’t qualities that scream ‘man, i need to put a ring on her finger!’ to the person who screams ‘men need a good push to get married and have kids’ who the &#^@ are you to decide for a guy what he should do with his life? some have been, and divorced, over completely stupid reasons and been burnt. why should they go through the meat grinder again? and why should any man be forced into a legal contract that is lopsided entirely towards women right now? some men have become so bitter with the scene they are ‘walking away’ because they choose not to be a part of the machine that makes them dutiful drones to the corporate machine (get married, make baby, work till you die to support both, either within marriage or through support after divorce.. take your pick) and finally, i think stealing someones sperm and making them fathers against their will (and making the law force them to support you) is JUST AS HEINOUS AS RAPING A WOMAN and FORCING HER TO CONCEIVE THE CHILD of her rapist and granting the rapist custody rights and shared visitation. nobody would argue for that being sane. i look forward to the day of a contraceptive pill for men. i’d welcome it. And i’m rooting for this to come not a day too soon, it will revolutionize mens reproductive rights forever > http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/04/ff_vasectomy/all/1

Fleur #14. WOW. I am glad I never came in contact with you. Talk about morally bankrupt.

(1) Becoming pregnant to (try to) ensnare a man into a commitment or fatherhood is an act of selfishness, towards your unborn kids AND towards the man.

(2) Semen on your body or on a disposed condom is indeed bodily fluid–until you try to use it to impregnate yourself against his expressed wishes. Then you are bringing a child into the world with his genetic code, which means that he is responsible.

And even you feel this way yourself on some level. You say yourself: “none of my kids are products” of this. Wonder how they would feel if they were…

Even if you “sperm dove” just because you wanted to be a mother–and didn’t care if the man stuck around–what you did was still despicable. If there is a child in the world with my genetic code, then I am the biological father. I don’t want to be a biological father without being a “real” dad. A surprising number of men (most of us) feel that way.

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