Sports IllustratedPosts

Last night on Last Week Tonight, fake-news juggernaut John Oliver took a minute to ask a burning question that’s been on our minds all month: “The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. How is this still a thing?” Continue Reading

Sport Illustrated revealed earlier this week that Ashley Graham would be featured of their annual “I don’t know how to find pictures of nude women on the Internet”-issueSwimsuit Issue, receiving tons of acclaim in the process.

Now, this is not the Ashley Graham who rocked our worlds in Airerose’s My Wife’s 1st Cuckold. The Ashley Graham that will be appearing in the swimsuit issue is just your average plus-sized model (“plus-sized” is, of course, an industry term for “regular-sized woman”). It is the first time since the swimsuit issue’s debut in 1964 that a plus-sized model will be featured.

Sounds like we’re making progress as a society, right? Maybe not. Continue Reading

I don’t take very many flights because I’m a huge loser who hardly ever leaves my own country. On the rare occasion that I do fly, I’m always pretty nervous and try to keep my mind off things. I don’t like the feeling when a plane takes off. It gives me the heeby jeebies, yo. So yeah, I’m a chicken. Whatever, I don’t give a shit.

As a result of my nervousness, I usually keep myself distracted by reading a book, listening to music, watching a movie or nervously gripping my armrests and gritting my teeth to hold back cries of fear. Because of this, I usually pay absolutely 0 attention to all of the safety protocol videos and shit they try to convey. You know when the flight attendant walks around and acts out how to put on an oxygen mask and stuff? If it actually came down to it and my flight was going down, I’d be totally fucked because out of the 10 or so flights I’ve taken, I’ve paid attention to that information -46 times.

And I’m probably not alone.

So what’s an airline to do? This is super important info that they need to convey. But how do they get through to Joe-I-Don’t-Give-a-Fuck’s such as you and I?

Classic maneuver: add some sex appeal and scantily clad people to your safety videos. Here are the two videos that Air New Zealand has put out. They aren’t exactly like, racy NSFW boobs and butts everywhere, but they’re certainly a bit spicier than the normal fare.

and

BUT. All is not well for Air New Zealand. Turns out that people find these safety videos sexist, forcing Air New Zealand to remove them from their flights. A petition was started on Change.org to get the videos removed. According to the article, which quotes the petition:

“This video creates an unnecessarily difficult and uncomfortable working environment for its female staff, which goes against the entire nature of safety.”

I’m not sure! What do you think, would videos like make the lives of flight attendants both male and female more difficult?

Anyways, while thinking about it, check out these pictures of sexy FAKE flight attendants, because why the hell not?

As you can see, Nina Agdal posed topless and yet there was always a conveniently placed hand or bikini to cover up her goods. And while I’ve always been a fan of the hand-bra tease…ever since Nina’s photo shoot for Cover Man Magazine I’ve been dying to see more. Nina, you can’t keep your boobs hidden behind your arm forever!

And she can’t! Thank goodness for the outtakes that were released because we get to see some Nina Agdal nude!

Specifically this picture where Nina just missed her mark covering her breasts:

NINA AGDAL NUDE!

While this is an amazingly sexy picture of Nina Agdal, I’d like to chastise the photographer for not standing directly over Miss Agdal with her top off, while she made that orgasm-face and slid her bikini bottoms down those long beautiful legs.

It should be a crime for women this good looking to wear clothes. If only to motivate all us hideous beasts to be as good-looking.

There are more Nina Agdal outtakes, so please enjoy more Nina Agdal nearly nude right now:

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I need to go jump in a some crystal clear water on a tropical beach now, much like the one Ms Agdal had her photo shoot on, to cool off. Nude Nina Agdal just causes my body to over heat!

Though she’s just a rookie, Hannah Ferguson has shown me that she’s ready to take on a Nina Agdal-level of sex appeal thanks to her body paint bathing suit that leaves her boobs totally exposed.

Apparently, it took one 18-hour body painting session to apply Hannah Ferguson’s body paint bathing suit, which makes me wonder why Sports Illustrated even bothered to do it because she’s basically nude as it is. Seems to me like that painting on the bathing suit was a colossal waste of time because the paint only covers her pusspuss, which they wouldn’t have published anyways. So why not abandon the whole swimsuit motif and just get her to pose nude? It’s 2014, we need full frontal nudity!

Hopefully Hannah Ferguson’s body paint bathing suit inspires beautiful women around the world to wear bathing suits that does nothing to cover up their bodies. I guess we’ll see what happens this summer. In the meantime, enjoy Hannah Ferguson wearing only body paint.

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Again, I could have done without the body paint. But regardless, that’s one hell of a debut from the beautiful Hannah Ferguson!

Want to see how they painted Hannah’s bathing suit on? Well then watch the behind the scenes:

If a lifetime of looking at boobs has taught me anything, it’s that boobs always look great. Why would the absence of gravity affect the awesomeness of boobs? If anything, they’ll be even better because they’ll be free to move in ways we never thought possible before. Continue Reading

On my way to work this morning, I saw an older gentleman walk up to the newsstand, buy a newspaper, and a copy of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue 2014. As I watched him I thought to myself, “It won’t be long before that never happens again.”

Not only will newspapers be completely obsolete in a few years, but who still has any use for a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue? It’s old news. Supermodels posing in bikinis? Maybe that was a big deal in the 1980’s but it’s 2014 and most supermodels pose nude just for the hell of it. And everyone knows that full frontal nudity beats bikini pictures any day of the week.

That’s how I felt about the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issuebefore I saw Nina Agdal’s pictures from the latest issue.

If the rule is that full frontal nude pictures are always better than bikini pictures, then Nina Agdal’s bikini pictures are the exception to that rule. Some how, if you photograph Danish supermodel Nina Agdal on a beach anywhere in the world, it will always be the sexiest thing in the world.

Ok, that’s enough Nina Agdal hype. I think you should just see Nina Agdal rocking the fuck out of some bikinis, plus a little nipple action. Nina Agdal bikini porn will help you survive these dreary last days of winter.

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In conclusion, as long as Sports Illustratedcan keep taking Nina Agdal bikini porn pictures, their swimsuit issue will always be relevant.

Making sense of the Kate hate

Kate Upton's wet t-shirt is as close as we can get to seeing her amazing tits

Since being chosen for the cover of Sport’s Illustrated Swimsuit Issue this year, Kate Upton’s star has skyrocketed. Even with her celebrity status, she has done a pretty good job of being loved by everyone. Until now.

It has come to the internet’s attention today that Kate’s been the target of hate for, get this, being fat. The internet’s moron pro-thin (a euphemism for the cruel and borderline anorexic) community is targeting Upton because she’s had so much success with an unconventionally busty physique for a model.

See what the jerk pro-thin community had to say about Upton after the jump. Continue Reading

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