Apple Town Hall: Tim Cook Says, Cheap iPads Good, Android Bad

So, what if Apple is no longer the world’s most-valuable company — planet killer Exxon has reclaimed the crown — Tim Cook is giving employees even bigger Mac and iPad discounts. Further, even though Android unit volume continues to surge, the platform is nothing but a black hole of fragmentation and pain.

“The only companies that report better quarters pump oil,” Apple CEO Tim Cook told employees at a Town Hall meeting on Friday. “I do not know about you all, but I do not want to work for those companies.”

What else? Android is all about market share, said Cook, not quality, which shows its ugly face in the fragmentation that plagues the platform.

Additionally, according to 9 to 5 Mac, Cook took the occasion to announce a doubling of the Apple employee Mac and iPad discounts. The CEO who is neither Steve Jobs, nor Jony Ive, announced a $500 gimme for Mac buyers (excluding the Mac mini) and $250 mark down for those getting an iPad.

The caveats? The new and improved discounts won’t be available until June and Apple worker bees of standing (90 days or more) can only cash in once every three years.

Though all might not be entirely well at 1 Infinite Loop, buck up, Apple workers, at least you don’t work at Exxon and, ooh look, shiny new iThings at a big discount…