Let's not kid ourselves: iSpy's gift is crazy awesome because pretty much everyone that volunteered to be a replacement santa (and several others) chipped in. It's not like everyone is going to get a laptop if someone deadbeats on them. Although everyone does hate a deadbeat and feels bad when other people get deadbeated on...

Yay! USPS pulled through at the last minute and I got my gifts before I left for vacation tonight.I didn't get any unboxing pictures because I was impatient and opened the box in my car. But as soon as I saw what I got I knew that Qwerty was going to want to enjoy these presents with me.

"Why did you turn on the sun?""Qwerty, that's just the lamp.""I hate it""Here put this hat on"

"You do know this hat is supposed to go on a baby, right?""Yes, but she won't be here for another 2 months. You will suffice for now"

"I'm going to poop on your bed, I hope you know this"

"And just where the hell do you think THAT is going?"

-So I guess I will save the gifts for when Hazel arrives in February since Qwerty seemed thoroughly displeased with them, overall.Thank you Santa I will try to do some reverse stalking tonight. I have a name but not a handle to put to the name...

Let's not kid ourselves: iSpy's gift is crazy awesome because pretty much everyone that volunteered to be a replacement santa (and several others) chipped in. It's not like everyone is going to get a laptop if someone deadbeats on them. Although everyone does hate a deadbeat and feels bad when other people get deadbeated on...

Deadbeating: not even once.

Exactly. I don't want people being assholes and deadbeating because replacement Sanatas will step in. And I don't want people to think that this is what will happen every time someone is deadbeated on. Special cases are special.

Anyway, lyric911, you got your own Ars love after your apartment burned down, so you're not allowed to be jealous

I almost bought one of those nasal aspirators when Callie was sick the first time. The reviews for them are good and they're supposed to be easier on the nose than the bulb ones they give you in the hospital.

Let's not kid ourselves: iSpy's gift is crazy awesome because pretty much everyone that volunteered to be a replacement santa (and several others) chipped in. It's not like everyone is going to get a laptop if someone deadbeats on them. Although everyone does hate a deadbeat and feels bad when other people get deadbeated on...

Exactly. I don't want people being assholes and deadbeating because replacement Sanatas will step in. And I don't want people to think that this is what will happen every time someone is deadbeated on. Special cases are special.

Maybe the severity of the deadbeat-up should be directly proportional to the amount of awesome that the recipient receives... it's a win-win situation! (Unless you're the deadbeat)

Let's not kid ourselves: iSpy's gift is crazy awesome because pretty much everyone that volunteered to be a replacement santa (and several others) chipped in. It's not like everyone is going to get a laptop if someone deadbeats on them. Although everyone does hate a deadbeat and feels bad when other people get deadbeated on...

Exactly. I don't want people being assholes and deadbeating because replacement Sanatas will step in. And I don't want people to think that this is what will happen every time someone is deadbeated on. Special cases are special.

Maybe the severity of the deadbeat-up should be directly proportional to the amount of awesome that the recipient receives... it's a win-win situation! (Unless you're the deadbeat)

Ah, ah, ah, stephenb, come right back here, because I name you as my Santa!! Of course, the reverse-stalk was easy because I had your real name & city from the invoice--was a quick matter of searching through threads about PDX to find likely candidates

UPS rang the door and a harried-looking fellow threw this box at my head and ran away. Either something evil is inside or the holidays are getting to the drivers. I knew it had to be mine because it wasn't a Sephora box, and wife doesn't shop at Thinkgeek for herself!

Eagerly ripping the box open, I am presented with an assortment of assortments!

A Thinkgeek monkey sticker!

An EVILTRON! This is like an Annoy-o-Tron, except that instead of random beeps, it produces random CREEPY NOISES, like shuffling, or a little girl laughing. I am so taking this to work.

JAPANESE TITANIUM SPORK. For when my soup starts fucking with me and needs stabbing.

A make-shapes-with-shapes puzzle guaranteed to make me feel stupid

A FUCKING SLIDE RULE. I've seen these on desks at $aerospace_job, but never owned one myself. I know that they're responsible for most of the engineering feats of the 20th century, including putting men on the moon...and I have no idea how they work. Something about, like, logarithms. NOW I WILL LEARN.

And....what's this? What is this featureless box of considerable weight?

Oh my, is it...could it be...

...OH, THAT'S RIGHT MOTHER FUCKERS, NOW I CAN CUT PIZZA LIKE NO MAN HAS CUT PIZZA BEFORE!! This is particularly awesomely timely because WE WERE GOING TO ORDER PIZZA TONIGHT ANYWAY!

A FUCKING SLIDE RULE. I've seen these on desks at $aerospace_job, but never owned one myself. I know that they're responsible for most of the engineering feats of the 20th century, including putting men on the moon...and I have no idea how they work. Something about, like, logarithms. NOW I WILL LEARN.

I'm easy. Hope you enjoy all of them.

When I was in High School our Chem teacher had a giant wall mounted slide rule. He would have the physics and calc teachers come in and write some crazy ass equations on the board and then pull done the screen. He would then challenge students to a race, he used the slide rule, we used any means we had, including scientific calculators. He never freaking lost. I always meant to learn how to use one, but never got around to it. Of course, when the zombie apocalypse comes, you'll be ready. Or if you really want to blow people away, pull it out to split a restaurant check including tip.

Oh and the spork is to fuck with psychics. "Bend this spork with your mind!"

So I got a message from my santa saying that a third package was en route and would arrive on Saturday. I was a little sad as I would be traveling that day and wouldn't be home to retrieve the gift. Thankfully one of roommates was still home and signed for it!

The very first words out of my mouth upon opening the box were "Oh fuck yes!" Santa, I love you. I still have no idea who you are, but I love you. Please, let us have bread babbys together.

My Sekrit Santa got the loot delivered weeks ago; the deadbeat here is me for not opening the box til last night. Yeah yeah, I know

On to the stuff!

Cassie thinks the box smells promising:

Nice focus. Good girl!

Cassie is not impressed by the letter.

Or the book. There must be something else in there!

A little background here: Cassie had *just* finished playing with her new plushie toy, so she was still on the hunt for more when I opened the box. Before we'd fully realized there was a Snoopy toy in the box, Cassie decided it was hers.

Luckily we rescued Snoopy quickly.

The loot! Oxford Companion to Fairy Tales, a Christmas mix CD, a Dancing Snoopy, and a whole bunch of awesome New Mexico snacking stuff.

THANK YOU! My wife has a weakness for the "dancing animal" toys, so Snoopy was responsible for about 5 minutes of nonstop LOLing. The book and CD are perfect, and I can't wait to try the piñon brittle *drool*

So...it's a great day. Left work before lunch because this is the last day before our annual two week winter shutdown. Spent the afternoon with the kids after picking them up from minimum day. Watched some Cars then cleaned the house to get things ready for the long break.

After eating dinner I figured it was time to try some SW:TOR but...WTF! A 700 person queue for a game not even released!!

*Ding dong*

Argh!! Who is bothering me now?!?

Oh yea!

Wait a second?! What is this?

Following instructions is for the weak!

Loot!

Uh...

This did get a chuckle from my wife (my street name is Appian Way...)

I would but where!?

Aha!

All together now...

Thank you, Sekrit Santa. Even with a real name, reverse stalking may be hard (not on Google+ ^_^ or it would have been easier...)

HAHA! The friend I had send the package for me put it into a smaller box, I guess she had an Avon box around.

I am glad you like the gifts! The book sprung to mind because of your address, it's one of my favorite period mysteries.

You have now joined the delicious cult of Speculoos pasta (in the Netherlands and Belgium)

OMFG, now THAT is a gift

Speculoos is my #1 discovery of 2011. Back in March when I was in Leiden, NL for work a coworker introduced me to it. I laughed at the name, tasted it, and fell in love.

Since then, a group of us has been obsessed with the stuff. Luckily, the company is making a very strong push to introduce it to the US market, under the name Biscoff. So we can find it in some supermarkets here in California, and my cousin has found it in a few places in New York City as well.

The obsessed work group even had one of our Friday work-sponsored-food-and-beer socials dedicated to it, and people brought in baked goods that contained Biscoff. I made some rice krispie treats with Biscoff added in, and some cake balls with Biscoff buttercream frosting. Other people made cupcakes with cream cheese Biscoff frosting, there were two cheesecakes, and a bunch of other delicious stuff. It was soooo good