Sunday, February 26, 2012

Tonight I write with a very full heart and a gratitude to my God. Today has changed who I am. Today I woke up and did not want to get out of bed and go to church but I knew that I should. I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for my church meetings. I arrived to sacrament meeting feeling disheartened at the 3 long hours I faced until I could return home to the comfort of my warm bed but the warmth I received in that chapel was more comforting than the warmth that any blanket could offer. I sat in silence as the sacrament was being passed wondering what I was doing there. I felt torn inside, I felt as though my spirit and my body were at war with each other. I knew I was suppose to be in that chapel but the defiant side of me sat and told me that I could be doing other things. I prayed to my Father in Heaven and asked for guidance. I sat with a pen in hand and just began to write. The words that were penned in that holy place have changed my outlook on who I am and what I desire in this life and beyond. Today in the quiet, hallowed walls of a chapel I was reminded of my sacred mission on this earth, what I desire and who my Father in Heaven wants me to be. These sacred words are my hopes and my dreams... The desires of my heart.

I desire that I might always be able to know what my Heavenly Father's willis for me and then be blessed with the faith and courage to follow that path and become an instrument in His hands. I desire to continually be worth to house the spirit in my heart. I desire to be a servant of the Master, I want to be a worthy daughter of God that Heavenly Father will trust to bring his sons and daughters to this Earth. I desire that I will remain true to my testimony and act upon my beliefs so that I may one day enter into the sacred walls of the temple, where I might kneel across an altar and be sealed to my eternal companion for time and all eternity so that we together might more fully serve our God. I desire to have the humility to see and recognize the hand of God in all things. I desire to serve my God not only during my Earthly probation but in the eternities to come. I desire to have strength to withstand the whirlwinds of this world and come out a better person having learned the principles that the Lord would want me to learn. I desire to be a mother that will, with her husband, raise a family in the fullness of the gospel, teaching them of their Savior's love for them and the power of the priesthood that their father will hold. I desire to have the patience to fulfill all things in the Lord's time. I desire to have the faith to continuously trust the Lord and follow his eaxample to return to my Father in Heaven. I desire that I will one day return to the presence of my Heavenly Father and be welcomed home with open arms. I desire that I will forever dwell in the presence of my God with my husband and all my children, and I hope and pray that I will receive wisdom to make the choices minute by minute and hour by hour that will lead me to my Heavenly Father. I desire to have a relationship with my Savior, to speak to him daily and learn to turn to him before any one else so that I might more fully understand the work and the mysteries of God that he would have me know. I pray that I will continually keep these desires in my heart and strive daily to draw closer to my Heavenly Father so that I may one day look back and realize that I have fulfilled my dreams and have become the daughter my Father would have me be.

3 Nephi 13:20-21
" But Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."