Taylor, 42, tells People that, after her tumultuous relationship with Russell, she was worried she would no longer be able to fall for someone in the same way. "I couldn't fathom ever loving somebody again, ever trusting somebody again," Taylor reveals. "The type of abusive relationship I had, [the abuse] would come out of nowhere. I just became so jumpy about everything."

Taylor says it took about a year for her friendship with John, 56, to turn romantic. "The only thing that bothers me about my relationship with John," Taylor says, "is that we found each other [later] in life. I wish I could have had a lifetime with him."

That said, she is excited about what the future holds for herself and her daughter Kennedy, whom John has legally adopted. "The past is behind me," Taylor adds. "I'm finally getting to be the person I was meant to be."