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There are days when I wake up and God feels a million miles away. I feel a million miles away from God. There are days when I feel small and inconsequential. There are days when the shame that was lifted off of my shoulders a long time ago comes back to haunt me. There are days when I remember that I don’t have it all together. And in those days, God decides to show off. He sees the ruins of my soul and says He’s going to make them their home. He sees the cracks in my heart and says He’s going to shine through them. He sees my sin, my shortcomings, my faults – and He says, “My grace is enough. It’s okay to be broken. My power works best in weakness.”

It’s okay. It’s okay to be broken, because He will make you whole. He’s going to take…

Hey fear. I think we should call it quits. I’m done with listening to you. I’m done with your little voice telling me that I cannot chase my dreams, that I cannot be myself. I’m done with you telling me that my soul can’t soar, that it can’t fly, that it can’t be who it wants to be. Fear, you’re getting in the way of me and my dreams. You say you’re trying to keep me from getting hurt. You think playing it safe is the better choice. You say you’re protecting me from getting my heart broken. You say you’re protecting me from facing rejection. But fear, you’re drowning me; you’re suffocating me. You’re not letting me live. And I cannot longer live my life pretending that I’m okay, that I’m doing what I love, that I’m completely happy with who I am, that I am doing what I…

I should be doing homework right now but I just had an inspirational bout and this is probably the last time I’ll write in this blog for a while because school is starting next week and yes I do run-on sentences on purpose. I am actually a big grammar freak.

I read this amazing poem by Madisen Kuhn and it has become my favorite poem ever [sorry, Hope is the Thing With Feathers by Emily Dickinson!].

Here’s the poem:

who are you,
really?

you are not a name
or a height or a weight
or a gender
you are not an age
and you are not where you
are from

you are your favorite books
and the songs stuck in your head
you are your thoughts
and what you eat for breakfast
on saturday mornings

you are a thousand things
but everyone chooses
to see the million things
you are not

you are not
where you are from
you are
where you’re going
and I’d like
to go there
too

I love it so much because it is a reminder that the world does not define me. The world doesn’t define you. Your weight doesn’t define you. Your past doesn’t define you. Your mistakes do not define you. Jesus defines you. Grace defines you. You are more.