With sons in military, Bulls leaders share unique bond

As John Paxson's son ships off to Afghanistan, the team's director of security knows the stress well, with his son in harm's way

January 21, 2012|By K.C. Johnson, Chicago Tribune reporter

Family photos of Naval Petty Officer 2nd Class Tyler Buck, left, son of Eric Buck, director of Bulls? security and Marine Cpl. Ryan Paxson, 25, son of Bulls VP John Paxson shown with a military service banner. (William DeShazer, Chicago Tribune)

"I want you to have this."

With those words, Eric Buck handed John Paxson a new military service flag. Mounted on a crossbar with gold and tassels, its red trim surrounds a white field, which holds a single blue star in its center.

Also known as a "blue star" or "son in service" flag, they were a common sight in windows of homes during World Wars I and II, each star representing a family member serving in the armed forces.

Buck, the Bulls' director of security, didn't say much more than that to Paxson, the Bulls' executive vice president of basketball operations. The gesture said it all.

"I don't think I could sit with John and give him ideas on how to handle what's coming because every family has to go through it on its own," Buck says. "It's just supporting him. 'You're not alone.' But I know what he and (Paxson's wife) Carolyn will be going through."

Sometime this week, John and Carolyn Paxson's oldest son, Ryan, will be deployed from Okinawa, Japan, to Afghanistan as a corporal in the Marine Corps. It's an assignment Ryan, 25, volunteered for, just as Tyler Buck, Eric and Gina's middle child, did as a second-class petty officer in the Navy.

Tyler, also 25, is scheduled to arrive at Maryland's Fort Meade later this month following his second tour in Afghanistan. Two servicemen traveling different directions on a journey countless men and women have taken.

Ryan Paxson and Tyler Buck have never met. Asked what he thinks they would say to each other if they did, Eric Buck doesn't miss a beat.

"I'm proud of you," Eric says.

Ryan Paxson wrote his parents a five-page letter in February 2008. He was nearing the completion of his junior year at Olivet Nazarene, where he enjoyed his classes and had averaged 13 points per game as a starting guard on an NAIA tournament-qualifying team.

The letter said he wanted to join the Marines.

"My first reaction was pride," John says. "I didn't see it coming. To me, it said a lot about my son and what he valued. He said to us he understood he grew up in a nice way. He saw a lot of entitlement around him from kids his own age. He didn't want to be that kid.

"He wanted to be someone who, in his own exact words, earned something on his own. Enlisting in the Marine Corps was his way of earning something on his own. To me, that was a pretty powerful thing."

For Tyler Buck, the idea of joining the Navy emerged from a boyhood fascination reading about the armed forces and a boredom following three years of classes at Illinois State. A football player and wrestler at New Lenox's Lincoln-Way Central, Tyler never starred. But he enjoyed the greater collective a team could accomplish.

"Naturally, we had a lot of questions," Eric says. "And at 22, he didn't have a lot of answers. It was just, 'I think I need to do it' type of thing."

Tyler scored high on the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery tests and graduated from Great Lakes Naval Academy in August 2009. His specialty is crypto technology. In 30 years, when his work is declassified, he can fully tell his parents what he did.

"The best I can describe it is he uses stuff that is floating in the sky to our advantage," says Eric, a retired master sergeant from the Illinois State Police. "I'm sure he can listen in to stuff that we never thought we could listen to. I joke with him: '26 years of law enforcement. I know what we could do with cell phone tracking.' He says, 'That's nothing.'"

If Tyler doesn't re-enlist when his five-year commitment ends in 2014, Eric says he could land a job with the National Security Agency, CIA or Department of Defense.

John isn't sure what Ryan, who recently got engaged, will do when his five-year commitment ends in 2013. He knows when Ryan finished his military policeman training in Kansas and asked to be transferred to Okinawa after an 18-month stint at Virginia's Quantico base camp he owned designs on a larger goal.

"He told us about a year ago that he felt that his time in the Marines Corps wouldn't have been what he wanted it to be if he hadn't done one tour over in Afghanistan," John says. "It's his own individual test in his mind and his heart."

It's a funny thing, parenting.

You love and support, teach and challenge. And then you step away, trusting that the lessons hold.

"When people ask about our kids and I say (Ryan's) headed to Afghanistan, it's funny to see people's expressions," John says. "Most people look down and say, 'I'm sorry.' We're not that way. You buy in from the first day — to the commitment they're making and the potential of where they might go.

"We knew there would be times where we wouldn't be able to communicate. Those are tough times. Carolyn and I just always reinforced to Ryan that, no matter what, he needs to know we're in his head and in his heart. And we know the same comes from him. That's all you can do."

Tyler Buck spent from September 2010 to June 2011 in Afghanistan and, after a brief stay stateside, will finish a three-month stint this month.