Crush on a Coworker: How to Handle a Coworker Crush Like an Adult

If there’s one rule we all know, it’s that the worst thing you can do is have a crush on a coworker – and a fling. But that’s easier said than done.

Having a crush on a coworker is one of the biggest no-nos in a workplace. But, how could you not develop a crush on somebody you work with? You see them literally more often than you see your family or partner.

So, having a crush on a coworker isn’t anything to be ashamed of. I’ve had a number of jobs, and most of them had me falling for some guy. Which is normal, I mean, first, the job sucked so I needed to have something to motivate me to get out of bed for it.

And second, having a crush on a coworker added some pathetic drama to my life which was the only thing stimulating me at the time.

It’s exciting to pursue an office romance, or just enjoy the little crush while it lasts. But more often than not, office crushes bring with it the unwanted side-effects of office gossip, low work productivity and worst of all, an unbearable working atmosphere if things don’t end well.

#1 Figure out why you have a crush on them. You need to figure out why you like them. It could be that you’re just bored of your life right now and find this to be the thing that spices it up. I don’t know what the reason is, but I know that you do. You just now have to be honest with yourself – that is, if you actually want to get over your crush.

#2 Stop talking about it with coworkers. Listen, if I know anything, it’s that gossip spreads like wildfire around the office. So, if you’re talking to some people about your crush on a coworker, you can bet your life that people are going to find out about it.

I mean, work is boring, so this is some entertainment for everyone to sit and watch while they’re counting the hours until they can go home. But this also means that there’s a higher chance of your boss finding out as well. [Read: 9 quick ways to find out if your crush isn’t into you]

#3 Cut back on spending time with them outside of work. Hanging out with your coworkers is fine, but if you’re spending all your free time with them, then maybe it’s time you branched out and hung out with some other people, you know, people who aren’t your crush.

You want to eliminate the extra time that you spend with them and keep it to a minimum. You should only see them when you actually have a valid work-related reason to see them. At least until you move on from them.

#4 Look at your own relationship with your partner *if you have one*. Is there something in your own personal relationship, that is, if you’re with someone already, that’s making you have a wandering eye? The first thing you should be doing is looking at that.

#5 Focus your attention on hobbies outside of work. When you leave work, there’ll be some times when all you’re going to do is think about them. What they said to you that day, what they wore, who they spoke to – you know, stupid shit that we all waste our time on.

But if your evenings are packed with activities, then you don’t really give yourself an opportunity to sit and dwell on this drama that you created in your head.

#6 Distract yourself. If you’re at work, well, you should be focusing on your work instead of obsessing over them from across the room. I know you probably don’t want to work more than you already are, but by keeping yourself busy at work, you have less time to think or talk to them.

#7 Set personal boundaries at work. If you see this person every day, getting over them is going to be hard. What you need to do is set yourself personal boundaries.

If you usually eat lunch with them, stop. If you spend your coffee breaks chatting with them, maybe find someone else to talk to. You basically need to wean yourself off of that person – having a crush is an addiction, so, consider this your rehab.

#8 Talk to your friends about it. Preferably friends outside of the workplace. I mean, it’s okay to talk to someone from work, but if word spreads, then you may get yourself into trouble before anything even started.

#9 Know the consequences. If you’re debating about whether or not you should make a move on your crush, you have to look at what you’re risking. At the same time, I know many people who found their life partners in the workplace.

What you need to do is evaluate if this is going to be a real thing or just a one-night stand type of deal. Because if you’re going to be putting your job on the line, it better be worth something.

#10 Give yourself some time. It’s a crush, so, trust me, I know how long it takes to get over them. It took me literally six years to get over my high school crush. I mean, I wasn’t obsessively thinking about him, but I was never really over him.

That was until I saw how much of a dick he was. But the point is, this isn’t going to be an overnight transition. It may take you months or even years to fully get over this person. Since you work with them, it’s going to be hard.