It's pretty ridiculous, given all of the other things women feel a pressure to do. You know, like succeed professionally, raise their kids well, stay skinny, stay sexy, stay happy, be crafty, and a whole laundry list of others, including washing the actual laundry.

It's crazy that keeping our vaginas tight is a requirement in the West. A woman with a "loose" vagina is considered a loose woman. That is the figurative definition of ridiculous.

Well, I can't help turn your Pinterest fails into Martha Stewart-like splendor, but if you feel like your vagina isn't as a tight as it once was, I can provide you with some great ways to whip your pelvic floor muscles into shape.

But let's try to keep a sense of humor about our loose vaginas, shall we? Let's be a little bit more kind to each other and to ourselves.

Our vaginas take one heck of a beating, what with the rigors of sex and, you know, popping out of fully formed human beings. Let's be kind to our long-suffering vaginas!

I've come up with several solid ways to tighten your vagina, and then just a couple of not-so-solid ways of doing it, just to keep you smiling and to remind you not to be so hard on yourself.

That said, phytoestrogens are endocrine disrupters, so if you've had breast cancer best to give them a miss.

5. Try squats

If there is anything loose below your waist doing squats will make that thing tighter, unless, you know, it is a child clinging to you. In which case, make that child do squats next to you while you work out your vagina.

Squats are also a great way to develop a butt that is so powerful the world will bow before it.

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6. Yell at it

If you want your vagina to be tighter, try hurling obscenities at it. Try things like "you slack, bitch!" or "WHORE" or "what have you even done for me lately?!"

That last one works best if you have not had children through vaginal delivery.

7. Sorcery

When the moon is next full, under cover of midnight, go the forest and spin around three times. This will summon a sorcerer named Mabrook who, in exchange for a favor to be given at a later date, will tighten your vagina with a spell he has written just for this purpose.

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8. Genie

Book a trip to the middle east. Hire a guide to take you to an abandoned temple of the ancients. Inside, sacrifice your guide in order to reveal the magical brass lamp containing a genie whose sole purpose in this life is to tighten vaginas.

Flee (with your newly tightened vagina) before you can be arrested for murder. Do NOT wish for more wishes.