Actually, I want to start with the happiest of news for a couple of my good friends. Rachel and Johnny Ova were blessed, Monday evening, with the birth of Zoe Leah. Mother and child are doing well and Zoe is an absolute angel. After so many weeks of having to say good-byes, it brings a happy tear to my eye to get to say “Welcome, Little Princess,”

The show opened with a “In Memory Of…” for “Mad Dog” Maurice Vachon.

Randy Orton came out to talk with the Long Island, NY crowd. He didn’t get the warmest of welcomes, to say the least. Randy retained his title after The Authority distracted Big Show, at Survivor Series. Michael Strahan was the Guest Host, this week, just so you know. The announcers ran down the major matches on the card as Randy got ready to talk.

Randy felt he was owed an apology from all the doubters. Orton brought out HHH and Stephanie McMahon. Wrestling’s true “Power Couple” seemed in top spirits as they joined the WWE champ for a little chin wag. HHH said The Authority couldn’t be more pleased with Randy’s win. Stephanie said they gave Randy the motivation that he needed to overcome the Giant one. Randy was amused that Stephanie put the spin on this to make this all about them. Randy was ticked off that The Authority got involved in his match, even though it was just as a distraction. HHH reminded Randy that Orton was knocked out when they came down to the ring. Randy said he was able to survive all that Big Show threw at him, unlike HHH. Randy crowed about how great he is and swore no one could take his greatness away from him. Pregnant pause before…

Enter John Cena. That was your “Lenny and Squiggy” moment of the night. John introduced himself, as World Champion, to Randy. Stephanie didn’t like that Cena had interrupted them. Cena wanted The Authority to listen to the crowd and give them what they wanted. Cena wanted it answered “Who is Champion?”. Cena said it was time to cut through the B.S. and make only one champion! Finally! Yes! I’ve only been asking for this since my very first recap/column here, almost 10 years ago. Cena challenged Randy Orton to a Unification Match at TLC! Randy showed some serious doubt. Randy felt there was a conspiracy. HHH told Randy to “Grow Up”. Amen. HHH made it official. At TLC, both title belts would hang above the ring and the winner gets both. This match will be a Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match. Cool.

Roman eliminated 4 of the 5 men he faced in the standard Survivor Series match, tying a record.

Glad to see Rey Mysterio back. Hopefully, he can stay healthy and uninjured, this time around. Goldust faced Roman. The Shield actually rushed all three men, taking down Cody and Rey. Roman bashed away and then brought in Dean. Power Drive Elbow Drop and Stomp by Dean. Dean choked Goldy, on the ropes. Dean with a few punches. Dean charged and Goldy ended up using a Slingshot to send Dean up and over. Goldustin Uppercut but Seth got the tag. Goldy flipped Seth over the top rope and to the floor. Seth flew off the top rope and into an Inverted Atomic Drop. Roman got the tag and hit a Flying Clothesline to prevent Goldy from tagging out. Raw took a break.

Goldy was punching at Dean but took a Kitchen Sink Knee. Roman took the tag and Goldy hit a Double DDT on the members of The Shield. Rey finally got the tag and he tore into Seth, who had also tagged. Rey Dropped the Dime and hit a Hurancanrana. Seth avoided the 619. Both men went for Crossbodys and eventually tagged out to Cody and Dean. Cody with the Goldustin and the Alabama Slam. Rey Low Bridged Roman. Roman Speared Rey out of his boots. He then followed with one to Goldust. Disaster Kick by Cody. Dean with the Worst Case Scenario (1%er) to Cody to take the win. Cody had been trying to hit CrossRhodes on Seth when Dean attacked.

Your Winners: The Shield (Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns)
Raw Ranking: 3.5 out of a possible 5

MizTV:

Miz introduced his guest, Michael Strahan. It was actually Titus O’Neil that came out. This was just dumb, as usual. Miz talked about he gap in Strahan’s teeth. Miz took a shot at the New York Giants. The duo then started talking about…Titus O’Neil. Thankfully, they were cut off by the arrival of the “Real” Michael Strahan. Yawn. Michael told the guys that their jokes were weak. Michael told Titus that he didn’t have the confidence to “Rock the Gap”. Jeez…bring back The Muppets. Michael announced the main event: Randy Orton and Alberto Del Rio vs John Cena and Big Show! Miz wanted to battle Strahan, in the ring. Michael said Kelly Ripa could take Miz. Strahan told Miz to not let the suit fool ya, there was a tough man underneath. Titus played Peacemaker and warned Michael that Miz could take out Michael with a simple move…like a Hip Toss. Titus told Kelly that he was available, if Michael didn’t make it. Michael blocked the Hip Toss. Titus then took off his jacket to Hip Toss Michael. Titus couldn’t Hip Toss him, either. Miz and Michael got shots in on Tony Romo. Michael ended up Hip Tossing Miz! Titus had them do the Millions of Dollaz, only to Hip Toss Titus. Miz laughed it off as the crowd cheered.

The fans got to choose a match for Damien Sandow and Dolph Ziggler. The choices were:

I really like Mark’s new look. Shaved head with the full beard. Langston and Axel to open. Axel with a Knife Edge but Langston with a Corner Shoulder and a Side Backbreaker. Leap Frog by Langston. Ryback, who got the tag, hit a Spinebuster and Big Splash. Ryback with the Gorilla Press Drop on Langston. Wow!. Tag to Axel. Curtis stomped away on the man who took his I-C strap. Ryback tagged back in and clamped on a Rear Chin Lock. Langston with the Belly to Belly. Mark and Axel got tags. Mark with ShoulderTackles and a JYD Crawling Headbutt. Langston took out Ryback and Mark nailed the World’s Strongest Slam on Axel.

Cameron took the tag and went after Tamina. Tamina pitched Cameron away. Tag to Naomi. Double Suplex and Double Splits Leg Drop to the Islander.Tamina kicked out. Wheelbarrow Stunner by Naomi. Tmaina with a wicked Thrust Kick.

Naomi – Eliminated

Cameron with a Flying Crossbody but Tamina rolled through. Tamina caught her and nailed the Samoan Drop.

Cameron – Eliminated

Natalya rolled up Tamina but only got a two. Tamina ripped off her vest and threw it. Tamina missed a Corner Splash and Nattie hit a Discus Clothesline and Scoop Slam. JoJo took the tag and pinned Tamina.

Tamina – Eliminated.

Alicia Fox with a missed kick and JoJo almost pinned her. Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker by Fox.

JoJo- Eliminated

Eva Marie came in and went straight after Fox. The fans really didn’t like Eva Marie. Fox went for a Sunset Flip but Eva sat down and held the legs.

Alicia Fox – Eliminated

Kaitlyn and Nattie were in to fight. Flying Shoulder by Kaitlyn, for a two. Whip by Kaitlyn but Nattie with a kick. The two countered and re-countered each other until Nattie locked in the Sharpshooter.

Kaitlyn – Eliminated

A.J. rushed in and attacked Nattie. Lee fought out of the Sharpshooter and rolled up Kaitlyn.

Natlya – Eliminated

Brie with a Dropkcik to the back of A.J.. Roll-up.

A.J. – Eliminated

Summer Rae was left to battle the Bellas and Eva Marie. Summer decided to dance. Whatever. Nikki tagged in and did a Reverse Worm. Summer tried but failed to Worm. Summer went to leave but Brie and Eva Marie wouldn’t allow it. The fans called for the Twerk. Nikki put Summer into the Rack Breaker.

Summer Rae – Eliminated

Your Winners; Eva Marie, Brie Bella and Nikki Bella
Raw Ranking: 1.5

Raw ran highlights of last week’s Broadway Brawl between Ziggler and Sandow. Their next match was on deck…

IN 2 weeks, The Slammys return. Sigh.

Damien Sandow stood in the ring with Jerry Lawler. Damien complained that he shouldn’t have to deal with these circus-like matches. He ripped into the “Slack-Jawed Half-Wits”. Lawler showed the results…

Damien Sandow vs Dolph Ziggler
Hamptons Hardcore Match

It was one of the closest votes, (31,32,37)

Dolph came out in an Islanders shirt. There were all kinds of oars, golf clubs and such in and around the ring. Damien went after Dolph with a golf club. Dolph blocked it. Damien ripped off the Islander jersey, which drew boos. Damien kicked Dolph out to the floor. Damien ran Dolph into the ring post. Damien blasted Dolph and told the Show Off to bring it. Dolph reversed a Whip, sending Damien into the barricade. Dolph Clotheslined Damien into the Bullpen. Damien cracked Dolph in the face with a microphone. Sandow flew off the barricade and laid out Dolph. Dolph blocked a Slam and wedged a trash can over Damien’s head. He then rocked Sandow with a Dropkick. Break time.

Damien choked Dolph with the boot and then dropped several knees to Dolph’s face. Dolph emptied a trash can but Dolph with a Neckbreaker into the garbage that spilled from the can. Nasty. Damien came back and slammed Dolph. Damien put the Islanders jersey over Dolph, much like a flag, and hit the Elbow of Distain. Dolph rolled out to the floor and went under the ring. Fire Extinguisher mist to the face! Both men crawled back into the ring. Corner Splash by Dolph into Full Mount Punches at Warp Speed. Funk Neckbreaker by Dolph. Dolph smacked Damien with an oar and hit the Famouser. 2 count. Both men went back to the floor. Damien smashed a trash can into Dolph’s face as the crowd chanted “Randy Savage”. I have no idea why. Damien sent Dolph into the ring steps and then back into the ring.

Back in the ring, Damien just brutalized Dolph with punches. Damien got a squash racket but never got to use it. Dolph with a Jumping DDT but he Dolph hurt his back when he landed on a chair. Dolph missed a Corner Splash and Damien cracked an oar across the back. “You’re Welcome” onto a trash can to gain the victory for Damien Sandow.

Your Winner: Damien Sandow
Raw Ranking: 3.0

A preview of “Christmas Bounty” aired. It stars The Miz and looks fun.

Strahan talked with Santino Marella until Eric Rowan came up. He gave Strahan a sheep mask and wanted him to wear it. Strahan put it on and Rowan left. Santino then said to put two of those masks on a turkey and cook a Thanksgiving turkey. Cook the turkey for 5 hours and 450 degrees. Throw away the burned up turkey and eat the mask. Whatever.

The ever-so-cute Renee Young was in the ring to interview C.M. Punk and Daniel Bryan. As it was, she just got to stand there and do the Mary Ann/Llaura Petrie-Girl-Next-Door look as Punk and Bryan did almost all the talking. JBL joked about Punk being the best groomed guy in the ring, as compared to Daniel Bryan and the Wyatt Family. Renee wanted reaction to the win at Survivor Series and about tonight’s handicap match. Punk was happy to face Bray Wyatt. He called him a False Prophet. Punk kidded about Renee not talking. Punk wanted to know which name was better: The Goats (Greatest of All Teams) or the Best and the Beard. Daniel said that was not a Yes/No question. Too funny. Punk talked about how The Authoriy just used a Handicap Match to “fix problems”. Punk started dropping names, including several former Wwe stars that got screwed over. (The Dicks, Matt Classic, Colt Cabana/Scotty Goldman).

Daniel took over and mentioned that he looked into the soulless eyes of Bray Wyatt. Daniel said Bray wasn’t done. Daniel said they would not let The Wyatts destroy them. He got Punk to yell…”It’s Clobbin’ Time”. The Wyatts then made their way to the ring.

Erick started against Punk. Punk ducked and dodged the big man. Punk with a few kicks but Rowan threw Punk down. Punk with a kick to the ribs and Forearm Smashes. Eric threw Punk to the corner. Punk escaped a Scoop Slam and kicked at the legs. Tag to Daniel. Bryan with wild kicks. Rowan reversed a Whip and hit a Back Elbow.. Rowan took Daniel to the corner. Tag to Harper. Luke with a Headbutt. Daniel ran the corner and hit a Flying Clothesline. Punk took the tag and set up a Cravat. Harper went to the eyes and threw Punk into a corner. Punk with a boot to the face, from the corner. Daniel tagged back in and kicked the inner thigh. Dragon Screw Leg Whip and 3 European Uppercuts by Daniel. Harper surprised everyone by hitting his own European Uppercuts.

Bray took the tag and popped Daniel up under the chin. Bray kicked at Daniel and talked trash. Wicked Headbutt by Bray. Falling Headbutt by Bray. Tag to Rowan. Scoop Slam that nearly broke Daniel in half. Headbutt by Rowan. Rowan with a Whip but missed a Big Boot. Punk with a Springboard Clothesline. Punk then hit several Clotheslines and a Leg Lariat. Punk with an Elevator Knee, on the ropes. That was unusual. Rowan tumbled from the ring and Punk with the Tope Suicida (Suicide Dive). Punk celebrated with the crowd and then pitched Rowan back in the ring. Rolling Neckbreaker by Punk. Savage Elbow! 2 count. Punk wanted the Go To Sleep. Rowan threw Punk over the top rope, after Punk was distracted. Raw went to break.

Rowan had Punk in a Clutch. He then moved to a modified Rear Chin Lock. Punk Elbowed loose but Rowan cracked the back. Tag to Bray. Repeated Dropping Headbutts. Bray with wild boxing punches, in the corner. Slam by Bray into a 1 count. Tag to Harper. Gator Roll. Harper then locked in a version of the Rear Chin Lock. Man, Harper looks so much like a young Mick Foley. Punk battled loose but Harper with the European Uppercut. Rowan tagged in and put Punk in a Bear Hug. Punk used Elbow Smashes to get loose. Sunset Flip by Punk but he couldn’t get Roan over. Punk with a shot to Rowan’s ear. Tag to Harper and Daniel. Bryan with a Dropkick to Bray. . Daniel with a Suicde Dive to take out Bray, again. Missile Dropkick and Kip Up b Bryan to Harper. Daniel with a slew of kicks to Harper. Hurancanrana by Daniel into the Yes Lock. Rowan made the save. Daniel put Rowan in one corner and Harper in the other. Flyign Dropkicks to both. Harper with the Scoop Driver. It broke down into a serious Mosh Pit.as the ref called for the bell.

Your Winner: Double Disqualification
Raw Ranking: 3.25

Harper laid out Punk with the Discus Clothesline. The Wyatts kidnapped Daniel Bryan and left with him. What’s up with that? Heel turn for Daniel? Punk tried to go after them but got Speared by Roman Reigns, completely out of nowhere. Punk was rolled back into the ring. Sword of Justice Triple Powerbomb to Punk. The Shield then did their unity fist bump salute, over the top of the fallen C.M. Punk.

Miz was in the back, chatting with his co-star from “Christmas Bounty”. They went back and forth with joking barbs at each other.

The Miz vs Kofi Kingston

Raw looked at how Miz refused to tag out to Kofi during last week’s tag team match, against the Real Americans. Kofi ended up tapping out to a Patriot Lock from Jack Swagger. Miz then beat Kofi at Survivor Series. Kofi got frustrated and slapped the taste out of Miz’s mouth. Kofi said he did that as revenge.

Kofi offered a handshake and there ended up being a Double Face Slap. Collar and Elbow and Miz took the Side Headlock. Side Headlock Takeover by Miz but Kofi got out and used a Leg Sweep on Miz. Kofi with a Hip Toss on Miz. Kofi laughed at Miz. Kofi flipped out of a Hip Toss nad teased a big kick. Miz moved back to the corner.

Go Behind by Kofi. Standing Switch, by both guys. Dropkick by Kofi, after Miz Snap Mared him over the shoulder. Kofi faked a Suicide Dive. Drop Toe Hold into a Front Face Lock by Kofi. Kofi went up the ropes but took a kick to the ribs. Running Boot by Miz. 2 count. Rear Chin Lock by Miz. Kofi blasted free. Kofi flipped out of a Back Drop Suplex. Miz hit the turnbuckles. Kofi with a high Dropkick. Friday will be the birthday of Jerry Lawler, Zeb Colter and JBL. Zeb and Lawler are exactly the same age.

Boom Drop by Kofi. Miz blocked Trouble in Paradise and tried for the Figure Four. Kofi kicked free and nailed the S.O.S.. 1-2-no. Miz pushed Kofi into the corner but ate a Pendulum Kick and Flying Crossbody. 2 count. Backslide by Miz to get the surprise win.

Your Winner: The Miz
Raw Ranking: 3.75

Mick Foley, in all his personalities, did the WWEShop segment. It was Mick, Dude Love, and Mankind who pitched the stuff. You gotta love, Foley.

Jerry Lawler chatted with the guy who won the Superstars for Sandy Auction. He asked the guy, named Charlie, who he would be. He said “The Kosher Butcher”. He gave Lawler a Kosher Butcher shirt. The guy said his finisher would be called “The Circumcision”. Hilarious.

R-Truth was in the ring. He said they talked with Brodus Clay, who loaned the Funkadactyls to…Xavier Woods…

Xavier Woods vs Heath Slater

Woods came out to Clay’s music. Cameron and Naomi looked stunning in shinny blue-green. Woods danced with the ladies. Fun stuff.

Woods reminds me of Marc Mero. Woods broke a Go Behind and worked over the arm of Slater. Heath with punches and kicks. Whip by Slater. Tilt-a-Whirl Head Scissors by Woods. Knife Edge Chop by Woods. Slater reversed a Whip and blocked the Float Over. Slater dropped Woods onto the turnbuckles and then stomped away. Rear Chin Lock by Slater.

Woods got free but took a Big Boot to the chest. Heath with more punches. Woods ducked Corner Splash. Woods with straight jabs and a Headbutt. Discus Punch into a Flying Forearm. Running Dropkick. Honor Roll into the Lost in the Woods.

Your Winner: Xavier Woods
Raw Ranking: 2.5

The announce team did a preview piece on the History of the WWE DVD. I am so going to have that one in my collection. I consider myself somewhat of a wrestling historian and this is right up my alley.

The Bellas asked Strahan for autographed footballs. The Bellas loved the Philadelphia Eagles. Ah, girls after my own heart. The Funkadactyls wanted their footballs signed, as well. Eva Marie then came in and flirted like crazy. She claimed to be the star of Total Divas…really? Goldust then came in and played around with Strahan. Michael looked so confused.

The fans were asked who was Rock’s greatest Wrestlemania Opponent. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin got the nod over John Cena and Hulk Hogan. I can see that.

Strahan and Cena chatted in the hallway. John then headed to the ring.

Randy Orton and Alberto Del Rio vs John Cena and Big Show

Big Show asked to start. He got Del Rio. Show pushed Del Rio into the corner and hit an Open Hand Slap that made my wife cringe. Show threw Del Rio into another corner and went back to the Open Hand Slap. Del Rio with a Thrust kick and punches. Shoulder Tackle by Big Show. Show forced Del Rio into a corner abut missed the Open Hand. Del Rio with a Side Kick and punches. Big Show cracked Del Rio. Tag to Orton.

Show just blasted Orton, over and over. He then smacked the chest of Orton with the Open Hand Slap. Orton’s chest was already bright red from last night’s match. Scoop Slam and Elbow Drop by Show. 1-2-no. Show choked Randy on the middle rope. Raw took a break.

Cena was in a bad way, as the show returned. Del Rio tagged in and kicked the thigh of Cena. Del Rio trapped Cena in the Sullivan Tree of Woe and choked him. Cena rolled up and a charging Del Rio hit the ring post. Step Up Enziguri by Del Rio for a two. Tag to Randy. European Uppercuts by Randy. Randy explode don Cena. Del Rio with a cheap shot on the break. Rear Chin Lock by Randy. Show wanted the tag, in the worst way. Cena got free and went for the Attitude Adjustment on Del Rio, who had just tagged in. Del Rio converted it into a DDT. Del Rio then mocked Cena. Del Rio charged and ended up sliding out of the ring onto his butt. Dianna got the giggles seeing him goof and bouncing his tushie on the outside.

Tag to Big Show. He brought in Del Rio and hit a Sky High Back Body Drop. Del Rio Dropkicked the knee. Kick to Show’s head. Show seemed really out of it. Concussion? Randy stared at him. Show couldn’t get to his feet. He was completely out of it. Del Rio choked Show with the knee. Tag to Orton. Randy stomped Show in the head, over and over again. Tag to Del Rio, who kicked Show in the side of the head. Show kicked out of a pin attempt. The ref ordered Del Rio back so he could check on Show. Show tried to tag out to Randy. Show was in a situation of “The lights are on but no one’s home”. Randy with a tag and Flying Kneedrop. 2 count. The doctor rushed into the ring and ordered the match suspended until he could check on Big Show. Concussions are a tricky thing. I’ve had 2 in my life and they really shook me up. The doctor cleared Show to keep going. Show swore he was ok. Randy started punching the head. Show with the Goozle but Randy with the DDT.

Randy went for the Punt but got Speared! Tag to Cena, finally. Cena went Vintage on Del Rio, who was the legal man. Protobomb but Del Rio countered the Five Knuckle Shuffle with a big kick. Del Rio wanted the Cross Armbreaker but Cena ende dup putting Del Rio into the STF. Tap Out!

Your Winner: Big Show and John Cena
Raw Ranking: 3.5

Del Rio jumped Cena, as John checked on Big Show. Cena avoided the Cross Armbreaker and hit the AA> Randy then clocked Cena with the WWE title belt. Orton then grabbed the World Title and held both belts aloft, in the ring, to signify that he would soon be the Unified World Champion.

For those of you heading out to visit family on this holiday week, please be safe. I’ll be in Fallon to spend Thanksgiving with my brother-in-law, David, and his side of our family. I’ll be home late but I’m still planning to watch the Turkey Day action. Will we see the infamous Turkey Suit?