Why bother to create a circle of friendship? Aren’t most of us busy enough without having to share friends’ success and failures in addition to managing our own? You may be thinking that you already have a friend or two with whom to exchange news and concerns. But have you given any real thought to the potential benefits of a circle of friendship?

A close circle of friends can do wonders for your psyche, your emotions, and even your health. Although it may seem hard to believe that fun activities with friends can actually be good for you, it’s true. All of us should spend more time doing things with people we care about and who care for us in return.

Social Benefits of a Friendship Circle

Whether you are young or old, married or single, fun loving or serious, a circle of friendship can do much to enhance your life. Everyone needs friends to spend time with on occasion. After all, even among married couples, a spouse may work long hours, have other interests, or need his own space at times, freeing you to go out with friends for dinner, bowling, sightseeing, or even travel. You can share a hobby with friends or sign up for a fun, non-credit class, such as photography or cooking.

In addition to fun times, a circle of friendship can aid you with life’s problems, such as a difficult marriage, a wayward teen, or a dying parent. Friends will listen when you need to vent, comfort you when you want to cry, and make you laugh when life is getting you down. Each one has her own special personality that complements those of your group of pals, so that each friend offers a unique perspective to the mix. Your personal circle of friendship can help you solve problems, like what to wear to your husband’s recognition dinner at his company or where to go on vacation. They will freely offer, invited or not, opinions about relationships, child discipline, money matters, and in-laws. While you may not always agree, their insight will give you plenty of viewpoints to consider and may liven up your conversations.

How to Establish a Circle of Friendship

Given today’s hectic schedules, it may be difficult to organize your circle of friendship. Here are a few tips that can show you how to do it.

1. Invite new members. Since most of us have at least one or two friends we like to spend time with, it shouldn’t be difficult to find a few more to join your group.

Perhaps you will decide to invite a new acquaintance to join, although this can be iffy if you don’t know the person well, yet. Another option is to call up an old friend that the others know and ask her to meet you for lunch. If everyone clicks, she can join your circle permanently. Other members of your inner circle group may have friends they can introduce to the rest of you, too.

2. Keep in contact. This could involve setting up an email listserv so that you all share the same information when it is passed among members. You may even want to set up a website for your group, complete with discussion board for regular postings. A weblog (“blog”) posted by members of your group taking turns to discuss various issues would be an interesting approach. Monthly cards and phone calls are helpful, too. And if possible, try to set up monthly activities to share, even if it’s just dinner at a local restaurant, a game of golf, or a visit to the spa. Staying in touch is important to help the group sustain momentum and remain invested in each other’s lives.

3. Do fun things. Although there might be times where your circle of friendship will get together to comfort someone struggling with a loss or to advise a member who is having relationship problems, don’t neglect the fun part. Be sure to do something interesting or relaxing as a group; otherwise, members may find excuses not to join in if things stay too somber.

Once a year your group could plan an all-day picnic at an exciting amusement park to give everyone something special to anticipate. Sleepovers, video nights, and friendship dinners add personal meaning to your social activities.

4. Celebrate small and large events. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and achievements are important days to commemorate in your circle of friendship. Mark personal dates on a calendar and do something meaningful to let friends know you care. Send a card (even an e-card), bake a cake, or telephone a quick greeting to show your appreciation of your close friends. Even a small token gift to acknowledge a goal like losing weight or finishing a project lets the person know you are interested and that you care. Your friendly deed might perk up a struggling friend more than you know.

5. Create a membership. Get photos taken together. Buy the same tee shirts with a logo emblazoned on them that identifies your circle of friendship. Consider the Red Hat Club and do something similar with your group of friends, which will solidify your connections to each other and perhaps enhance your commitment to the circle. Get involved in charity work, write a magazine article together about a shared experience, or form an entertainment act that showcases the friends’ chief talents, such as singing, acting, or performing instrumental music.

Why We Need Friends

Although some people don’t like to admit it, everyone needs someone. Most individuals can’t meet every need that a person might have. That’s why it’s a good idea to cultivate a circle of friendship. If one friend is unavailable or temporarily miffed, there are several others to take her place. When one of your buddies doesn’t share your taste in opera, chances are one of the others will. Whether you have three good friends or ten, it’s good to know you can count on others to help you out in a pinch or be there to cheer you to the finish line.

It used to be that families stayed in the same location most of their lives. Kids grew up together, guided by the older generation that was always looking over their shoulder. Community life fostered close relationships and accountability. But since the early twentieth century, that way of life has declined, with subsequent generations moving off to the cities and relocating away from families to various points around the globe. With the lost proximity to extended family members, many people today feel rootless, lost, and alone in a world that continues to grow complex and demanding. What better time could there be to create your own special circle of friendship to meet some of the needs that used to be cared for by extended family and close friends a century ago? Why wait? Start building your circle of friendship today.

Are You a Fair-Weather Friend?

A true friend will always be there for you in good times and bad, in sickness and health. But are you the type of friend who will stick around when stormy weather approaches, or are you ready to split when there's rain the in the forecast? Find out now if with this fair-weather friend quiz.