Fear the predator UAV attack drones and their hellfire missiles though. Robot planes used to be a training tool, at most a reconnaissance droid—one that allowed pilots to remotely control planes without risking their lives. In these final days, however, they are used to attack America’s enemies hiding out in Central Asian mountains, where no average American dares to tread (or locate on an un-labeled map).

What Bush began in the glory days of your global war of terror, Obama has seen fit to continue, standing upon the shoulders of the proverbial beast that preceded him. But he hasn’t been standing there long, my ninjas. Oh no: he has quickly leapt from the shoulders of his svengali forebears into realms far beyond Bush’s feeble comprehension. From The New Yorker:

According to a just completed study by the New America Foundation, the number of drone strikes has risen dramatically since Obama became President. During his first nine and a half months in office, he has authorized as many C.I.A. aerial attacks in Pakistan as George W. Bush did in his final three years in office. The study’s authors, Peter Bergen and Katherine Tiedemann, report that the Obama Administration has sanctioned at least forty-one C.I.A. missile strikes in Pakistan since taking office a rate of approximately one bombing a week.

I don’t know about you, but after finishing this article I immediately thought of hooking one of these bad boys up to an xbox controller. I also immediately thought of Orson Scott Card’s sci-fi parable Ender’s Game, and was given visions of a future where tweens line up to destroy lives mercilessly for nothing more than the social validation of their peers and teachers. It was at this point that I once more shook my mighty robotninja brain at the folly of man and the inevitability of his annihilation at his own hands.

Luckily I maintain a small squadron of robot-dragons in case the government decides to strike.

R0b0tr0n offers exciting new careers in such fields as: multi-dimensional bomb- droppery, advanced turbonics, logistical metaphysics and diamond robotics. Come see which robots are right for you! Act now