Forgive those who don't know the difference between a small rat and a big mouse

Monday

Aug 20, 2012 at 3:50 PM

To all the teachers who have the daunting task of conveying the rules of grammar to their students, we wish you well.

To all the teachers who have the daunting task of conveying the rules of grammar to their students, we wish you well.Someone once said a person who claims to have a full grasp of the English language is either mistaken, ignorant or a chronic liar, and perhaps a thief. The latter portion derives from the concept that the two are often one in the same. If the rules were not so complex, vague and often ignored, we suppose it may be easier to become proficient with the King's jargon. Most of us would like to follow rules if we could only understand them.Unlike the king, we're not here to condemn, but rather to empathize and forgive, in hopes you will do the same for us.Some of the rules, however, are relatively clear. The difference between those kissing cousins, a hyphen and a dash, is a good example. The dash should separate and the hyphen should be used to join. Ergo: Wake Forest Baptist Health — Lexington Medical Center (separating) and Winston-Salem (joining). Sometimes they are mistakenly used interchangeably. We're told that piece of punctuation between Winston and Salem spawned the idea for the nickname of that town's exciting minor league baseball franchise, which is the Dash. Oops. Guess it's too late now. The Hyphens, though, don't conjure a very exciting image and none too menacing, either. We liked the Spirits, as they were known in previous years. That has various connotations.Speaking of menacing, that thing with one eye and a curved tail is a tortuous villain. We know it as a semicolon, a fraternal twin of the ubiquitous comma. It is a treacherous course we travel when deciding to use one or the other. Commas appear in many places they shouldn't be. Even the spelling of the word has been a source of humor. Omit an "m" and lots of things can happen, most of them not good. We heard of a college student writing an essay about a life-changing experience that occurred when he was younger. "I went into a comma," he wrote. "I didn't even know what a comma was." His professor responded in bold red ink on his paper, "you should know what they are, you have thoroughly abused them."Essentially, the rules state the comma should be used to indicate a pause or separate and the semicolon when there is a change in thought or subject matter. Both, however, can and do serve this purpose. Basically, it's like the difference between a small rat and a big mouse. Our advice is, if you see one or the other, avoid it like that thing with one eye and a curved tail.