Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Words ....

Tokio Hotel's Bill Kaulitz in his own words on heartbreak and looking for love

So, here I am. Sitting in my bed and writing about love. Next to
me is my English bulldog, Pumba — the big love in my life. When I was
asked to write something about love, I said yes right away, but now I'm
thinking… what the f*** do I know about love?!

I guess I wanted to do it because ever since I can remember, I
have believed in it. I believe in love and nothing but love. The big
kind of love, the overwhelming, the completely out of control and over
the top, the "I'd do anything for you" kind of love.Why do I believe in it? I don't know, I have no idea. All I know is that I do.From the time I was a little boy sitting in my room in my parents'
house in a tiny little village with 800 souls called Loitsche in East
Germany, where I grew up, I was consumed thinking about big cities,
singing, being on stage and finding my big love. My twin bother, Tom,
never understood that part. He didn't give a shit about that.My friends sometimes make fun of me and almost everyone I know thinks
I have a fairy tale idea about love and they always tell me it's not
like how it is in the movies — that I'm way too romantic and that all of
this is just my fantasy. They say, "In real life, love works way
different!"People think I'm so naive because I've never been hurt and all I
think is that they probably got hurt too much. That's why they say stuff
like that. That someone broke their heart or maybe they never really
loved someone enough and that's why they can't relate to what I'm
talking about.The funny thing is that I'm probably the one who got hurt the most
out of all these people put together. Heartbroken, completely destroyed,
the worst kind of heartbreak you can imagine. Worse than I ever thought
could happen to me. Betrayed, cheated on, taken advantage of. I'm
saying this without telling the whole story, of course, but I want
people to know that things like this happen to me, too — to the ones who
seem to be "covered in gold."Although I'm still trying to heal, I feel like I still believe —
which is a good thing. I still believe in the magic, in the big
once-in-a-lifetime love. Is it gonna happen to me? I don't know. I
thought I had already found it once, so maybe not… but I'm hoping,
because hope is what keeps all of us going and I truly believe that love
is all we are here for! No other reason. Only love!People like to categorize and label everything. That's less
dangerous; it feels safer. Especially in the industry that I'm in. I
feel like it drives people nuts not to know if there is a woman or a man
in my bed. That's why I've been getting the ''gay question'' ever since
I turned 13, when I started giving interviews. I always wondered… why
does that even matter? I thought I was here to sing and perform for
people?I never felt like I owed any answers to anyone about it and it amuses
me that they made such a big deal out of it. In my world, it's not that
black and white and I think that the real question should be: Why are
we asking this? Why does it matter? Why do we need labels? Can we not
just live?No one knows what's gonna happen in the next minute, the next second.
Who knows who I may run into? Maybe I'm just about to meet someone who
changes my life forever and, if that happens, does it really matter what
gender they are? What I do know is that love is the one beautiful thing
we can't control. We have no power over it. We don't know where it
comes from and we never know when it's gonna hit us and that's the
beauty of it.So, I guess I'll wait and see… I hope I find the magic, the type that heals what's been broken and gives me wings.My only advice is: Love who you want to love and love who loves you back. Life is way too short.But, then again, what the f*** do I know?

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My Passion - My Angel ...

"in your eyes -
the light the heat -
in your eyes -
I am complete -
in your eyes -
I see the doorway to a thousand churches -
in your eyes -
the resolution of all the fruitless searches -
in your eyes -
I see the light and the heat -
in your eyes -
oh, I want to be that complete -
I want to touch the light -
the heat I see in your eyes" -- Peter Gabriel