(do you ever really know someone from the very beginning?)

May 03, 2010

Notes on a Birthday

Another year gone by. I always find myself a little melancholy on my birthday. Not really because I am older; rather, because I am so darn sentimental that marking time generally makes me a little happy and sad and amazed and frightened and hopeful and, well, you know.

I had a lot of thoughts today. Jotted them down as the day went on. In no particular order:

Starting a new year heading to Times Square two days after a seemingly legit bomb scare is not a feeling I will ever get used to. I know we all expect something to happen, but heading into the storm with a child several miles away is unsettling. But we plod on.

Here Comes the Sun by George Harrison always reminds me of my mother.

My dad used to call me late in the day on my birthday.

As much as I like my job, right now I wish I were sitting on a bench on the Highline, watching boats go by on the Hudson, drinking Laurent Perrier Rose champagne (out of a paper bag) watching people go by. Thinking about the book I might write someday. That is how I should be spending my birthday.

Well, I am 38 and still no sign of my Grammy.

I read something interesting today - just a one liner but it was "People should pry more." I think this is so true. Ask ask ask your friends family etc. how they are, what they are thinking about, what matters to them, how you can play a part. And listen to the answers. Get under the surface. If you don't, well then you are just skimming and relationships are not built on skimming.

A couple of close friends forgot to call me today. So I sent them calendar invites to my birthday, recurring forever. I got a kick out of my old self.

Do you remember what was important to you (i.e. what you worried about) ten years ago? I don't really. I guess that means everything turned out ok. That is a lesson for right now and ten years from now.

I spent a wonderful weekend with family, this evening with my husband and got a real "Happy Birthday, Mommy!" from Avery. It does not get any better. :-)