People & Inspiration

#ChalkAsks: Why Guys Suddenly Become Conscious About Their Style When They Start Dating

With all the valuable yet sometimes unrealistic expectations society has provided us when it comes to dating, it's no surprise that a lot of us especially guys start becoming conscious about their style. For example, if you just started dating someone who you've been friends before, you can notice how they didn't care much about how they look like whenever they're with you—their good ol' comfy pants and graphic tee were already enough to make themselves look "presentable". But when you guys started dating, they've become more attractive and well-groomed.

It's something that I couldn't fully comprehend as a girl, that's why I took the time to ask guys about it! Check out what they have to say below!

"Of course, we want to look attractive when we’re dating. Nobody wants to date a guy that doesn’t know how to dress himself. Also, we do it because we want to show our personality through our style. Wearing something nice also gives us a boost of confidence." - Archie, 29

"For starters, I want to look presentable not only for my date but for the people around us as well. I want them to see what my partner saw in me and I think it also makes them my feel special. They'll go, "Oh, he did all this effort just for me?" It's a boost of confidence for the both of you! It doesn't have to be expensive since it's mostly about cleanliness and comfort mixed with style. Also, you'll get a lot of compliments. Who doesn't like compliments especially when you put effort into it?" - Hans, 21

"Well, it's really for good impression. Remember that a well groomed guy always gives a good impression to girls they are dating. Being conscious about style is just one of the factors that will benefit the guy in the future. It’s like a golden rule to have the girl say yes in return. This is in fact is more about your taste and choice, being conscious is a choice. It just means that you only want to present yourself in a neat and fashionable way rather than the usual." - Joey, 27

"We guys tend to be in our best foot forward when it comes to dating. It's not a mystery that we ought to be presentable in front of our future relationship thinking that it would be under the saying that first impression lasts. The "dress to impress" rules implies that we need to show off and win the girl's heart. Little do we know, that as we move along the pace of the dating process we get to know more about our soon-to-be partner and by then, we tend to look pass the appearance and consider each other's characters. We set off the expectation by the way we present ourselves. Some guys are just "for show", dresses all appealing but never follows up with their personality. Just don't let appearance fool you. That's why we date, to get to know the person." - Kyle, 21

"When it comes to dating, I really make sure that I look presentable to my partner. It seems like it's a norm that everyone follows and it's really nice that you look your best when you're with them. Honestly, I do this so that my partner won't look at someone else or at least I won't get compared to other people. There's also this consciousness that you suddenly become more confident since someone chooses you so it's like you have to keep getting better for them so that they won't get tired of you. For me, what keeps a relationship going is that there is always something new that will interest them." - Travis, 21

"I start to get conscious especially when the person I’ll be dating has a different lifestyle from me—someone who's a rich kid that eats at fancy restaurants and then there’s me–just a typical guy. Over the past few years, my self-consciousness grew. Every time I date a few high maintenance people it turns into a terrible one." - Louis, 20

"It's actually kind of a funny trend. Do you know about the Reacher-Settler theory in "How I Met Your Mother"? This is actually a good comparison as to how the Filipino culture points to dating. The whole "pag-akyat ng ligaw" is unique to our culture such that the male is perceived as a showrunner of some sort by trying to show himself off as a worthy prospect for the female in front of the female's parents. They bring gifts, wear their best attire, and look their best in order to appear presentable. This giving the notion that looking presentable is equated to being worthy. With this culture, men are automatically deemed as "Reachers" in the HIMYM theory meaning that men will always "reach" for the women's expectations. This just shows that we try in doing our best to show that we're sincere and that we can go through certain lengths to prove ourselves, and hoping that the girl can see that somehow." - Wayward, 22

"For a lot of people—including myself–the eyes fall in love first, but the mind is the one that decides to stay. This is my presumption for every potential partner, and I always want to keep them falling in love with me, hence the conscious desire to keep myself groomed, well-dressed, and well-mannered at all times." - Raf, 25

"I am conscious about my style depending on the person I'm dating. Of course, adaptation is needed in order to make the girl I like adore me more. There might also be a possibility when there will be an opportunity for the both of us to take a selfie together. It is my way of showing how much I love her. However, I will combine it with my own style to show what kind of a person I am. It is also a way of showing who I am in order for her to know me better." - Eldrich, 23

"The reason why men become more conscious with their looks is because we want to look presentable for our partner. A lot of Filipino girls actually look for a guy who's well-groomed and good-looking. That's why the mentality of some guys is to dress well for the girl to notice them which might be one of the factors why a lot of us guys improve their style more when they start dating." - Joshrel, 21

It's up to you if you would take this the wrong way or not. But seeing these guys take the time to put an effort in making themselves look presentable and well-groomed doesn't actually pinpoint as to how they would be after months or years of being together. It will and always will depend on the person's character. However, dating a well-dressed guy won't hurt anyone. Am I right, ladies?