Looks like I am late - sorry, long -

but will appreciate any prayers coming along. I do believe in the healing power of prayer - and the more the better.

I want to save my marriage desperately. I am with the man I love and do not want to disrupt my son's life a second time. Although he is 20 he is struggling to find his path in life, who he is, what he wants to do with his life. Disrupting his life would make it so much harder for him to find the right path.

My husband has been diagnosed with ADHD - extremely difficult for a seriously ill CFS/FM patient to live with. He took early retirement 2 years ago yesterday and it has been a living hell for me since that day.

He makes a very small pension and intended to get another job. Meanwhile he thought it was playtime and he ran up $90,000 in debts in a yr and a half! I am just sick about it.

It took me several months to reorganize the finances and discover where all the money went - golf, bridge, gambling, five trips (four without me), gambling, smoking, going out with the guys, and eating out 3 times a day, buying coffee and donuts and snacks several times a day.

The stress of doing this (the numbers part of my brain is severely compromised) and the emotional impact of it all has sent me reeling. I am having trouble coping.

Could those of you who managed to read down this far pray for my hubby? He is taking naturopathic treatments that seem to be our only hope at the moment. Prayers that this will work. Prayers that he will find a job - soon! And Prayers that I can cope with it all. No to mention prayers that my son will find his way.

Thank you my friends.
Love, Pepper

This is my first posting on this board in a couple of years. Did I do it right or should I have left out the story?
[This Message was Edited on 09/02/2004]
[This Message was Edited on 09/03/2004]

I pray God will touch all areas of your life in a mighty way. I pray God will restore what was lost, that He will not only restore but heal as well and that He will perform miracles in every w2rong situation that you are dealing with
georgia
[This Message was Edited on 09/03/2004]

Dixie has prayed a wonderful prayer for you, and I am standing in agreement with it.

Has your husband always been a compulsive spender, or did this come on suddenly? The reason I ask is that a real swing in behavior could indicate a biochemical problem in the brain, like manic/depressive disorder. I personally know three people that lose control in the manic phase and spend like they are millionaires.

I understand how frustrating handling the finances can be. I have always (even before fibro) had problems with numbers. I probably have discalculus-that's like having dyslexia, only its with math instead of language and reading.

Anyhow it's gotten much worse as my fibro has worsened over the years. My husband installed the program, Quicken, on our computer. This has allowed me to keep track of our spending. I make an entry and it does the math.

I know that you are financially strapped, but a computer program like this could really help.

Stand strong in Christ, He is our deliverer! We have been in extreme finacial difficulties several times-some were our fault, some were circumstances beyond our control. In every case, we experienced God's mercy.

Georgia, Sandy, Della and Sarah. I feel like I have found a safe haven here. And I thank God for that and for all of you.

I did think that you only prayed on Thursday evenings. I did not understand how this board worked. I am so happy to be able to come here when I need to - to ask for prayers and pray for those who need it too.

Della, my doctor did suggest that my husband has manic tendencies. However, I did read "Driven to Distraction" which is about ADD/ADHD, and manic spending can also be a symtom of these illnesses.

Now that the finances have been sorted out, I am doing a good job of it. I will have to get Quicken eventually but am managing without it until we can afford it.

At any rate, the only person we could find who was willing to help my hubby was this naturopath. He might be way out of his depth in dealing with him. I don't know.

He was much much better when he was on antidepressants but refused to take them regularly. And we all know what that can do to the seratonin levels in the brain.

I am putting my faith in God now. It is in His hands. My husband has to get well and get a job or He will give me the strength to get out of the relationship.

Thank you all so much for your prayers. I am truly touched.
Blessings and (((HUGS))) to you all.
Pepper

I also prayed the beautiful prayers above in regards to your husband, and son, and all the heavy burdens that are upon you. One thing though, is that Fibro people do have a hard time letting go and letting God. I too find that I take all other peoples problems and stresses straight into my own body that cannot handle even a tiny tiny amount of stress. I pray for you that you may take care of yourself during this time and know that you are responsible for only you and can control only you. I pray that you may be kind to yourself and take time to spend with the Lord, His Word, and His promises to see you through.

I personally don't think its fair for people with fibro to have any other stress in their life, besides their own pain! Anyone agree here :>) I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I know that God will see you thru- thru eternity. deb

You are so right about taking others' problems. I did not have trouble with that before I became ill. It is a constant struggle for me to let go and let God.

Since I came down with CFIDS/FM almost 12 yrs ago there just seems to have been one great big stress after another: sister's open heart surgery (guess who had to keep it all together for everyone), mom's cancer diagnosis, my own malignant melanoma diagnosis, mom's surgery followed by 2 yrs of ill health.

My dad could not cope with her illness. He loved her so much. I was the only one around to help him as best I could. Then mom died and dad had two years of worsening health and depression.

Then dad died and my husband's mom needed care. Her family of 11 kids is scattered all over the country so I had to help her out. Then she died.

All through this I have been dealing with a very unhappy spouse. I thought retirement would help him and heal our relationship. Boy was I ever wrong!

The last two years have been a nightmare. He has been treating me very badly and I do not deserve it. If he does not get help from this naturopath and get a job soon I will have to consider my options.

Then number two son is struggling, probably due to having a sick mother since he was 8 yr old and an unavailable dad because he is always so grouchy.

All this long story to say, yes, I agree with you. We should not have any more stresses than this illness puts on us already. But life has a tendency to get in the way, I guess.