Should You Confirm Dates?

I’ve never been on board with the habit of calling or texting a girl before a date to confirm that it’s still on. I get the idea of it — if she’s about to flake, you save yourself the hassle and indignity of getting caught out alone — but practical considerations aside, the very act of confirming dates conveys lower value. Assuming the sale means assuming she’ll be there at the agreed upon time. It doesn’t mean assuming she forgot, or she might not show, and you have to double check to be sure her oh-so-busy schedule still allows time for your meager and annoying company.

Given the inherent DLV of date confirmations, men are advised to avoid the practice altogether or, if circumstances require confirming a date, to confirm with sly obliqueness that sidesteps the trap of self-betatization.

On the subject, a reader asks,

Long time reader here who has improved game, life style and understanding of women in general. Here’s my question. I always find it DLV to confirm a first date with a new girl, and have devised a few C&F methods, but here’s a new one I seek your opinion on. I send a text a few hours before the date:

ME: I already have plans for tonight, but I’m free tomorrow night

HER: what/ok/whatever

ME: Wrong person, obviously I have plans with you tonight.

It does 2 things – 1. Shows that maybe another girl is reaching out to you and 2. You’re actually confirming.

Thoughts? A better version?

TIA

This is a twisted version of Reverse Eavesdropping Game. It’s a manipulative ploy to project high male mate value by (not so subtly) insinuating the fullness of your dance card. And, as the reader has noted, it’s a sneaky method to confirm a date with a girl without appearing like you called to confirm.

The difficulty with this tactic is the substantial risk of transparency. How obvious is it that your text was actually meant for her and not for another imaginary girl? The less obvious, the better Reverse Eavesdropping Game works. If you think the context is right and the impression you left with her is congruent with the believability of these texting tricks, then give it a whirl. Otherwise, I’d say skip this style of overwrought sneaky fucker texting and try these alternatives to confirming dates instead:

1. The preemptive “I’ll be late” gambit.

Need to confirm a date? Not sure if she’ll show up? Text her a few hours beforehand to tell her you’ll be late.

The beauty of this trick is that it simultaneously makes you seem higher value (you’ve got a busy life) while leaving the door open for her to announce an intention to flake if that was her plan. You aren’t confirming anything; you’re assuming she’ll be there. Her reply will be either “ok” in which case you have pretty good evidence she’ll show up or, if she was planning to cancel, she’ll be trapped in a corner where she either has to baldly lie (most girls won’t do this) or fess up that she won’t make it.

2. The “Wear something cute” gambit.

This is a classic PUA end-run around a potential flake. You text, “Wear [X] and [X] tonight” a couple hours before the date. No direct confirmation, no DLV. The assumption of her presence at the agreed time and place is tacit. If she doesn’t reply, she’s lost interest and is likely going to flake. If she does, her reply will tell you enough about her intention, or lack thereof, to show up that you can cease any further communication until you’re face-to-face with her (or until you’ve deleted her number).

Bryan Singer, director of several films including the upcoming X-Men one, is Jewish and openly gay. It’s well-known in Hollywood that he enjoys twinks, but covered up because sex rings and pedophilia is rampant, so they protect each other.

It was announced today that Singer is facing a lawsuit for sexually abusing a 17-year-old boy.

Again, along the lines of fully admitting what is going on, Corey Feldman [himself a YKW] tried to warn everyone about this.

The way that they close ranks around their co-tribalists who get caught with their hands in the cookie jar, like Roman Polanksi and Woody “Allen” Konigsberg, ought to tell you all you need to know about what really happens behind the scenes with that Tribe.

But as far as the bigger picture is concerned, these are the very same people who didn’t hesitate to bayonet to death the poor little Romanov girls in their party dresses, and to starve to death 10,000,000 million Ukrainians in the Holodomor, and to rape and butcher 10,000 nuns and priests in the War of Revenge for 1492.

Do you think that they give a flying fuck if a child gets molested?

From their point of view, a human child is just an egg waiting to be broken in order to make an omelette for their pleasure.

I once did that by calling (pre-text /email days) to tell her to wear something a little dressy, as we might go on to a swanky nightclub afterwards, and I didn’t want her to be self-conscious about her outfit.

First-date score.

After that, I did it with just about every date. My lifetime first-date scoring average was well over 50%.

i have successfully used ‘wear something fun’ a number of times as an implication she she should be prepared for interesting sex. even more interesting was that one girl was lying about her ‘bunco night’ to meet up and ‘wear something fun’ was the text her husband saw on her phone. and then facebook recommended me to him as ‘someone you may know’.

anyway the form ‘wear something…’ works well. commanding, assumptive, sexual, etc. all the stuff girls enjoy.

horrifying? its a fucking smorgasbord of hot blonds. a free for all if you got the balls.

nihilism is merely a construct of the human mind….a base morality. god gave you a prefrontal cortex for the express purpose of overriding what you understand as “morality” (the paleomammalian brains desire to preserve the species). use it and win. adapt or perish.

Depended on the woman. I was a member of several “members-only” clubs, all well-known, and all very desirable to status-conscious women. All the clubs had strict dress codes. (This was a LONG time ago, and they weren’t “clubs” – i.e. discos – in the modern sense of the word; they were elite social- and country clubs.)
So if I thought she was classy enough to take there, and I felt I needed to butter her up (what you youngins call “building SMV”), I suggested we swing by the club for a late-night drink. Among those invitees, my first-date score was about 90%. If I didn’t think she was worthy,,I’d claim exhaustion and withold the invitation. With that group, my first-date score was about 40% anyway. When a woman ignored my suggestion to dress up, I’d walk away from the date after telling her that she wasn’t properly dressed for the evening (I would be wearing a suit and tie, typically). This didn’t happen often, but among this crowd my second-date score was 100%.

I dated scores of women over almost 20 years in the pre-text era and can’t recall a single flake. As far as I can tell, the flaking epidemic is almost solely a function of the inherent vagueness of text culture.

“They cannot read ‘Middlemarch.’ They cannot read William James or Henry James,” Wolf said. “I can’t tell you how many people have written to me about this phenomenon. The students no longer will or are perhaps incapable of dealing with the convoluted syntax and construction of George Eliot and Henry James.”

There are few ways to DLV quite as broadly and nauseatingly as the reverse eavesdrop gambit. It is so transparent to any chick smart enough to do 3rd grade math. You make yourself look like a fuckin’ jackass.

Girls do #1 all the time. That’s their preferred method of ascertaining whether *you* are gonna flake on *them*. When chicks do that, it’s a compliment.

#2 is excellent. It suggests some kind of theme to the night, which concurrently suggests that other attractive women will be participating in that theme, and therefore her presence will hardly be missed since you’ll have your pick of attractive new women to keep your night interesting.

Another way to prevent needing this info the day of the date: you proactively suggest that she confirm the day of – ‘ok thursday night? that should work. hit me up thursday and we’ll try and work it out.’

In the smartphone era, I don’t think anyone’s buying the “woops wrong number” lie text. I’ve personally never sent or received one, and if I do, my first thought will be the assumption that it’s bullshit. It’s dead and buried. Don’t try it on any girl with half a brain.

I gotta say, man, this post really proves my point about supply and demand and the problem with fatties (too many of them). That this much work and strategizing is needed to simply make a date with a thin woman happen. And that is really what it all boils down to.

I concede that CH level game is needed today, but it shouldn’t be the case. It simply should not be *that* difficult for a decent dude to get a date with (and eventually marry and be respected by and have kids with) a pretty, thin woman. We greater betas are only asking for HB7s. Not asking for 10s.

Fuck man.

In other words, it is indeed a supply and demand issue and the competition among men is FIERCE because there are not enough thin women to go around.

This is why, Scray, CH’s posts about shaming fatties do matter. It’s not fair to all of us, as a society, when 80% of women are unbangable fatties. And they are. Just look around. Even if you go to clubs where 90% in that club that night are hotties…okay, thank of that though. even in that situation even on the best night there will be sausage-fest like conditions (more men than hot women) in that club. Now extrapolate that to society at large. Say you go to a popular crowed club and there are 50 hotties in there that night. Well, there are 6 million fatties (the rest of the women) in the rest of the city that particular night.

There are 4 million eligible decent men, say, in a big city, but only about 15,000 women who are not unbangable hogs. I’m making up those numbers but I really think it’s something like that. 15,000 hotties in the right age range in a city with 4 million decent men and 4 million fattie women is bad. Not enough good women to go around.

Hence it requires massive game to land a thin, pretty woman.

Even the PUAs admit it. Those with great attitudes like you and Ya don’t complain about it, but you admit it, talking about how seeing it from the HB8’s perspective…they wake up with 50 new texts every morning, etc.

That is true and also supports my point.

If there were an equal number of thin, pretty women and guys who want thin, pretty woman, each woman’s buying price would go way down.

This is how it was in the 1920s. All women were thin, so every decent man with a job got an acre, a mule, and a thin pretty wife when she was 19 to 21 who was loyal and respectful to him and gave her husband her best 20 years instead of giving them to 55 Yas.

I’d say don’t worry about the sex ratio. From where I sit, the bigger problem is social circles rather than supply and demand. Sure, there are lots of fatties and older women around, but most men are dyed-in-the-wool blue-pill betas who are the bread and butter for fatties and older women. Rather, I’d say the challenge comes from not being or having been in a college fraternity, since most of the girls of 7 or above in hotness seem to be sorority chicks.

tl;dr version: waaaaah wahhhhh the world isn’t the way I wish it was waaaaaahhhh!!!

CH has written a bunch of fat-shaming articles, but I’m still seeing girls stuffed into too-small outfits with their muffin-tops hanging out at the bar.

You can piss & moan or you can deal with reality. It’s that simple.

The other part you’re missing is that this really isn’t “work” once you get good at it and internalize it and find the fun in the whole silly game. Hell if anything when you have 3 or 4 girls on the go and some chick flakes on you you’re RELIEVED because it means you get a night of peace & quiet or time to see one of the girls you’ve neglected or to get some work done lol

I’m just very good at scheduling. I blame pickup. I know you’re joking but for anyone curious about how I manage my time right now:

When I started pickup and was going out like 3-5 nights a week regularly, I had a 9-5 job I didn’t give a shit about so I would nap an hour at lunch, nap 3 hours after work, shower up and go sarge, then come home around 2am and pass out to get up for work again (so I end up with my 8 hours of sleep), which got me used to getting by on random naps. On days where I have nothing to do I basically catch up on sleep if I need to. I did this for like 5 years straight.

Now I work my own hours and I keep my workload light enough to just pay my rent/groceries/etc. so I have a lot of free time when I want it. That’s why I can post a bunch of long rants here and txt girls all day, I’m just taking an hour out of my 6-10 hour work-day to write a bunch of shit and then I go back to work. I can spread my work through the day if I want to have a fuckbuddy over, or take breaks to post, or go out to sarge, or sleep in if I was out late, but I don’t mind if my work stretches all day since I like what I do, so a day for me might look like I work 4 hours, have a girl over to bang, pass out for a nap with her after sex, work 2 more hours, go out to sarge with a buddy for a couple hours, then come home to work a few more hours till I fall asleep. If a girl can only hook up late at night because she’s in the bar industry or only has her lunch hour free to bang etc. I can adjust my schedule around being available for that hookup. Sometimes I have to catch up on work and tell girls to eff off for a couple weeks (or have them over just for quickies and kick them out after) but that’s just giving them the gift of missing me so even that works out in the end lol

I also keep to seeing girls once every week or two at the most, and I don’t have a crazy high sex drive like some guys do so for me banging 1-3 times a week is enough. Right now I have two regular fuckbuddies, so I just alternate them (one one week, one the next) so I get laid between Sun-Wed and then I go out Thurs-Sat to sarge. And any time I’m not doing that, I’m working, sleeping, or posting. I don’t spend 6 hours of my day zoned out watching TV like a lot of people do or go play sports or spend 2 hours in the gym every day etc…flirting/banging/socializing/posting is my main hobby.

That’s not to say that other hobbies are lame, I probably should hit the gym a bit at least lol but pickup and discussion/teaching pickup is an engaging activity to me so it’s something I try to make a priority. Like I’m actually having fun typing this right now lol

I’ve had points in pickup where I have a bunch of girls on the go, like 10+ casual fuckbuddies who are available to bang, but that shit is a nightmare lol The validation feels great for a while, but it’s a hassle to juggle esp if you’re trying to get real life shit done and still trying to find time to go out and work on your social skills. I find I’m happiest with 2-3 regular alternating fuckbuddies early in the week (so I’ll have one or two of them over between Sun-Thurs) and randoms on the weekend. I think if I “settled down” long-term with a girl and decided to get more serious with her, my ideal situ would be her as my Primary, and then two regular Secondary fuckbuddies, and then random girls when I go out with the boys or go on vacation etc.

I do drink Redbull but it’s like one a day, probably less than a lot of people drink coffee lol

do you….? lol all of these little experiences you’re building up will serve you well in the long run. Like, if the current you were subjected to the kind of crazy shit that is DEFINITELY going to happen to you in the future….hell, you may quit the game altogether or go off the deep end. step by step.

Lol if it’s any consolation these still happen to me. They happen to everyone. But usually when you get flakes and no response it means you had Attraction/Light Rapport but not Comfort/Deep Rapport. EVERY guy is throwing Attraction game at her, but Comfort and deep rapport are what make her txt you back. So if this is happening a lot, try getting isolation and getting to know her hopes dreams and get to know her soul lol. It should help increase your response rate

it ain’t the way I wish it was but where does that shit lead in the us Yareally a fucking paycheck gone to a bitch you ain’t even with
there are other worlds than these with different rules
I can conquer bitches in us I can get some young bitches to pop out my kids but I never want it to come down to some crazy shit if they lose their minds and try to take my loot
once you can get woman but then what the fuck can ya build with em
hard to empire build for sure

I know it’s super random off topic but I just wanted to say big ass THANK YOU to you YaReally for taking the time to write your about experience and opinions about game and girls. I know it’s nothing big to you since it’s just fun for you but just know that I find your content top notch and see you as best pua based writer these days who’s actually consistent. Thx

It doesn’t do you much good personally to complain how the world should be. A man sees it how it is and adjust according to what he wants to get out of it. That is your best strategy in every occasion. Movements might some day change things, but usually will not change your immediate personal outlook. Besides a little initial misery goes a long way towards personal happiness.

Grim, from your post I get an impression of a touch of oneitis, or at least not as strong a feeling of abundance as is warranted. Remember, try as they might, the feministas have been unable to prevent you from contacting females all over the world. Most other places provide a much better experience, not sure what if you have to do things online, but take a few weeks off and buy a ticket somewhere. Avoid the problem.

And connected with that, you are worrying too much about the fatties and wishing they were thin enough. Well there may be many things at work here, and I am not at all sure that shaming will improve their behavior. And many of them just have fat genes. Rather than trying to fix these women, again just go find people who are more desirable to you.

So I don’t bother with fat shaming. Why? Because I don’t take on their problem at all. If the men disappear, some will get “religion” far more effectively than they would by shaming. And the rest are simply hopeless. Again, why take on their problems? Isn’t one of our core game principles that we don’t step up to solve the woman’s problems?

I’ve actually had 50/50 success ratio with this. The bigger problem that I gotten was “If you’re dealing with that many girls, it won’t work for us” response and ultimately a flake. The transparency problem is almost non existing when you contact girls you met over the internet, girls who don’t really know you, and in reality, they are the ones I need confirmation with anyway.

“baby my mom/dog/uncle is sick/broke something so i really wanna hang out but if you are gonna flake then id like to really help him/her/it.”

push pull mofo’s

and guess what, 3 dates (post coitus) or 4 months later when she asks and you admit you lied, she wont give a fuck. they never do. a woman assumes that a man is always bullshitting (not lying, big difference) because they do it all the time.

Since that essay they have sadly gone out of production but you can now pick one up on ebay for about $40. I just bought a whole case.

Would Steinbeck, Faulkner, Hemingway or countless other giants have used a laptop? Would we have “Heart of Darkness” or “Post Office” had their authors been looking for a wall socket?

You sir, eviscerated beta men sporting khakis and manpurses. A Neo is the perfect accent for the dark, troubled writer posturing in the corner of a coffeeshop. A goatee’ and beret complete the ensemble.

IMO, any form of confirming is way too beta. If you’ve sent the right vibe, she’ll be ready. A note the day before saying “I’ll pick you up at seven” tells her you’re not someone who will take kindly to being flaked-on. If she actually does flake after you take charge by your leadership, consider it a time-saver – she’s worthless.

This is the most natural to me. It’s like any other meeting. If you were going with some friends to watch horse racing, you wouldn’t reconfirm bla bla bla, you would just specify the arrangements.

For a girl, it’s a nice touch to make the specification what she should wear. But any specification will do.

Re-asking (we’re still on aren’t we?) is wrong, but further specifying is right. It has an element of assuming the sale, but here the sale is already made, so failing to assume it is taking a step backwards, of course that’s wrong.

Co-signing Lastango’s words here. If “assume the sale” is valid, and it better well damned be, then when you get the “yes” for going out, your sale is made. You do not go back and renegotiate the price on an item you just bought and you don’t need to pull the chick “confirm” crap. Yes is yes, sale is made, tell them how to wrap it for pick up, end of discussion.

If you can present yourself as the solution to large populations of Women, as the antidote to their aspirational yearning via ur online frame (FB, Dating profile, Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, feed, Pic txts) then you have unlocked the key to pussy.

I am notoriously bad with remembering vague appointments, especially in this day and age of “let’s hang out, sometime next week, let’s text about it” so I’m firmly of the opinion that some sort of solid reminder is definitely in order.

Soon as I wake up I shoot a “hey, planning my shit out for the day. You still in for tonight?” txt like I’m just figuring out if I should schedule her in or not. If she flakes I just go “lol” or tease her a bit and then a “k cool” and I won’t txt her for a couple days and when I do txt it’ll be just flirty shit with no attempt to meet up again until she starts showing signs that she wants me to ask again.

That way I know usually before 2pm if she’s going to flake or not. If she says she’ll show, it’s rare for her to flake on that (if she DOES end up flaking she’ll usually txt me right after work so I still know a couple hours in advance). If she’s planning to flake it gives her an out early so I don’t waste my day expecting to meet up.

Really hot girls will flake, they just have a lot of shit going on, it’s no biggie. Some of them will flake on purpose the first time or two, JUST to see how you’ll react. Do you get butthurt? Do you have other shit going on in your life? How invested are you in a girl you haven’t fucked yet? Do you try to give some passive-aggressive “that’s cool, this supermodel wants to hang out with me anyway so whatever” shit she can see right thru?

So it’s more in how you handle the flake than anything. If the girl is really hot or I know we only have X amount of attraction going on because maybe my game wasn’t that tight when I grabbed the number, or she seems like she’s in a bad mood, or my txt game sucked or whatever, often I’ll invite her to do shit that I know she’ll flake on lol Like I’ll have no intention of going out on say a Tuesday but I’ll txt “let’s get drinks tuesday” and let her get her flake on because I know it’s coming lol

Or I’ll flake on her first and invite her out on a Fri/Sat and be like “ya i’ll be downtown with my buddies, bring your girls out and we’ll party together” and then just not txt her at all that night and the next day go “lol sorry last night got messy. let’s get coffee this week” etc.

I actually had a fuckbuddy flake on tonight (legit reasons, we’ve already banged a couple times and her work shit has piled up because we sext all day lol so she’s catching up and I don’t see fuckbuddies on thurs/fri/sat so we’re hooking up next week), but I sent that txt earlier today and she txted back that she knows I like to plan my schedule out so she’ll let me know as soon as she knows and by noon I knew she was a no-go for tonight so I can get some work done.

I have a different fuckbuddy that wants to meet up Friday night and I told her I’ll booty call her at 2am but I have to hang out with my buddy before that. If I don’t pull any girls I’ll go bang her but if I pull I’ll just flake on her and apologize the next day, no biggie.

Flaking is just a thing people do in this age of txting where it’s so EASY to send out invites to shit. In the past when you had to actually dial someone’s home phone number and talk to their parents and then talk to them and set up plans and it was a hassle to confirm plans or invite anyone to anything in the first place, I bet people didn’t flake as much. But when that chick wakes up and her phone has “crazy party this fri!! come out, free booze and VIP entry!!” and “hey beautiful, would you like to go for dinner tonight?” etc. etc. she doesn’t want to be a bitch and tell everyone no but she can’t possibly do EVERYTHING.

So she says “yes” to a bunch of shit, then hangs out with her BFF drinking wine and sees which guys weed themselves out by freaking out and getting butthurt. The ones that are cool about it and give no fucks are the ones she’ll actually bang lol

And like I say in a different response in this thread, this isn’t really work and games to me. It’s just the way shit works, it’s no big deal. I’m not sending out an invite like I’m a fucking 5 year old cutting out a construction-paper heart-shaped valentine for his schoolboy crush inviting her out here lol I’m just throwing out an invite and if she can make it, awesome, let’s fuck, if she flakes then either my game wasn’t tight enough and I can analyze that and learn where I could’ve built a better connection to get her to not flake or she’s just got her own shit going on and that’s alright I can make other plans or enjoy some alone time and not txt her for a few days and/or try for another meetup in the future.

Welcome to gaming in 2014 lol

It’s funny ’cause I was actually telling a newbie young’un buddy about how in the “old days” we had to write phone numbers down on paper so to get a number you’d need paper and a pen from somewhere, and when you called girls you’d call their landline and couldn’t txt or anything, and he’s grown up with cell phones so it was like listening to cavemen talking about hunting dinosaurs to him lol Shit changes, gotta’ adapt or fall behind.

the part about actually writing down numbers, calling and having to talk parents, etc. actually sounds like it could be a great stand up routine if a red pill guy whose old enough like Bill Burr took it and ran with it.

@jack
lol I heart Bill Burr. Maybe I’ll turn it into a routine for in the field when I’m hitting on younger chicks…they love it when I talk about “back in my day” and tease them for being too young to understand lol

@LeCoq
Ideally I wouldn’t end up in that position because I didn’t text something that would lead to that response lol I don’t flaunt that I’m seeing other girls, I’m super discreet…that way girls assume I must have other girls because I’m an attractive guy and they’re into me so obviously other girls must be, but those other girls remain just a mystical hazy image in the distance somewhere and are never really tangible other human beings that they need to worry about.

I actually have the problem these days of being TOO discreet lol I’m VERY good at scheduling/compartmentalizing, so if a girl flakes on Tuesday but can make Thursday and I’m like “ok cool no prob” she has no idea that flaking Tuesday means I can go out with a buddy and chat up some new girls and that Wednesday I have a different girl coming over to bang…on her end it just looks like I have no life lol so I’m finding I have to be a bit less discreet (so I have to do stuff like not txt her on fri/sats even if I stay in for some reason or I’m drunk/horny at 3am so that she can at least tell that on the weekends I’m probably seeing other girls).

Anyway, off the top of my head I’d say something like “don’t worry, they’re all 500lbs with hairy legs and unibrows” and try to laugh it off but odds are if she’s sent that it’s because she’s dated a player before and has already ruled you out to where you’d have a lot of work to get her back into taking a chance on you so you might just be fucked on that one.

CH now that this article has been up a few days about white women choosing to have dogs instead of children, there is a well developed comment section, and it is both horrifying and a goldmine of material for you.

I am now convinced there are zero women with IQs over 90 and every single one is brainwashed by the feminist evil. Solipsistic selfish brats cannot even come close to beginning to even understand that articles like this address a societywide issue and at a minimum it is legit to discuss it when 80% of white women of a certain generation are choosing not to have children.

I like the preemptive “I’ll be late” gambit. It’s simplicity itself. I can be used in any circumstance. Just make sure you don’t include a reason for being late. Never apologize. Never explain. Never make excuses.

Also, if you say, “I’ll be 10 minutes late,” make sure you are more like 20 minutes late.

I agree that confirming dates -does- indeed DLV you. HOWEVER, I am a huge an of confirming dates for the sake of order. If I am spinning 4 plates and I want to smash that night, I want to confirm. Why? If one of the plates flakes, I can start (fairly early) trying to meet up with another plate.

Playing by the rules is what gets you food on the table and safe streets. You want chaos? Go ahead man and go to Ethiopia. Pussy ain’t worth selling your humanity, and you WILL find girls by “playing by the rules”, because it doesn’t mean acting like a beta (it never has).

Playing by rules that are so totally self centered that you cannot construct a decent world where men follow your example, is … well solipsistic for one thing. It’s a moral weakness for women and it’s a moral weakness for men.

Yeah, no because the person/society who makes rules for you won’t make those rules in their/its self-interest. Of course not. Men follow success. So, if you follow your own rules and are successful, people will follow.

Grim, alpha is strength and strength is virtue. When society describes a beta as a ‘good, honest’ man….they are saying that he is a weak man usually. Betas do not have virtue in the classic, masculine sense. So that article is garbage.

You have it exactly backwards, as GBFM writes. Real strength and virtue in a man, real alpha, is fathering children and then supporting them and their mother and loving them and their mother and making them into contributing members of civilized society. Not negging and gaming and fucking as many women as possible (always when they are drunk, by the way… I know you will point to a few exceptions) after meeting them in a bar, outside of marriage, using birth control because you were confident enough to get them to let you do that.

yo, I’m gonna aware you on some serious mind-blowing shit: just because GBFM wrote it and tagged ‘lololozlozolozl’ after it doesn’t make it legit.

You’re only looking at the surface level of ‘negging’ and the game if you honestly think it’s ‘just drunk slores broooooo.’ Take a deeper look. That’s how I know you aren’t really putting yourself out there.

And I’m not fucking as many women as possible. The girls I end up with I care about a great deal. I say as much on here all the time. It’s not what you think it is….which is why you’re looking at these articles and thinking they’re these wise sermons from the mountain.

I understand that women say they don’t need a man and all of this other bullshit. Let them find an alpha willing to give even an ounce of commitment and watch them drop everything for him. Feminism is just a shit test.

The article itself is confusing the reality of competition with some sort of modern phenomenon. No shit young women will move on to the net shiny cock that catches their eye — they are in their prime and at the height of their power. They can afford to be that choosy….for a short time at least.

Why i have the true abundance mentality and i’m banging out pussy like nails, i find myself confirming dates all the time. Pretty funny. I mostly find myself confirming because i don’t care if they bail and i dont’ want to waste my time thinking i’m meeting a chick for drinks tonight and then she flakes last minute.

It’s actually the opposite when i’m hard up. I don’t confirm and play all these internal mind games with myself….”should i text and confirm?” “Play it cool? blah blah.

Is going on a hike with a girl and watching the sun rise beta? it was super spontaneous but after i did it i felt like a romantic beta chump, even though i didnt necessarily act beta….Im kinda trying to transition into LTR. havent really talked to the girl since we did it either. thoughts

Your feelings were generated by your hindbrain, which was trying to tell you that you fucked up by not fucking her like an animal after watching the sun rise. Sure, the hike and sunrise was lame, but at least you didn’t blow a bunch of dough wining and dining her all night. The rub is that you didn’t immediately counteract that evening of beta with a whirlwind of alpha.

You should have been smashing her head into your headboard repeatedly as you wrecked her ass and cunt before nutting in her mouth and making her swallow. If she’s not willing to get up and cook you breakfast or take you out for food, then you should kick her ass out immediately so you can get on with your day. There’s no use keeping her around if she can’t make herself useful.

Get her to invest in you (ie. anal, cooking, etc.) and she’ll self-rationalize that you’re a high-value man because she wouldn’t be putting in all that effort if that wasn’t the case. Essentially, she’ll convince herself that you’re a keeper because you successfully balance your beta tendencies with a hot streak of alphatude that leaves her cunt screaming for your seed.

Bottom line: the LTR will only happen if *she* wants it. Even then, you ultimately decide if she’s worthy of keeping after she’s tried to wrangle you in with some variation of “the talk”.

I fucked her before and after….so alpha was there if that’s what you’re thinking. BUT is it smart to agree to “exclusivity” and to being “official” or whatever (i.e. defining the relationship) with a such a young high smv girl? I’ve only really seen and been in relationships like that that end poorly. Sure I have learned but I can’t read this one girl….she’s makes it so easy to hang out and also have sex but doesn’t show much emotion or neediness from me….which is awesome but it makes me think that if I change to “relationship” then she might change? I honestly would like to be in a relationship with her where we talk everyday and see each other more, but I’m struggling with defining the relationship basically b/c SHE hasn’t emotionally outburst on me really (i.e. i love you). She has said she wants a relationship and sees where it goes but for some reason i can’t look past this more than a shit test. IDK if this is my insecurities or if my intuition is kicking in. (ive always been kinda bad at reading my gut feeling)

It’s going to sound counter-intuitive but make sure she sees you have other options. Even if it’s just you flirting with the waitress when you take her out , or getting a text you act secretive about when you’re out with her. When she sees you have other options she’ll try to lock you down.

Need to confirm a date? Not sure if she’ll show up? Text her a few hours beforehand to tell her you’ll be late.

This is what I do. Or, I write something specific for the date. Such as: “I just saw that Club X closes early, let’s go to Y instead.” Or just something small: It might rain this evening, bring your umbrella. Just anything.

It is needed if you haven’t talked with each other for a couple of days, ever since you set up the date. The lack of communication before a date could even make a girl nervous enough that she cancels, because she thinks you have forgotten about it. Now, we may decry that kind of nervous behavior and reaction, but the world is what it is.

Once again I am reminded of how similar game is to sales techniques. If there is an event between sellers and prospective buyers, you need to have some extra information to send just a day or two before the event, just to show that everything is still active.

“If you fuck a girl daily, and spend time cuddling and shit with her and like, go out for a movie and have some dates where you don’t have sex etc., esp if she isn’t seeing anyone else and she knows you aren’t seeing anyone else and you let her think you’d be a good provider etc., she’s going to fall in love FAST. Like within a week or two of this shit.”

I could see how this is true…a couple questions on it that you might be able to answer:

a). How do you communicate to her that you aren’t seeing anyone else without coming across as beta.

b.) how much of “fucking her daily” “going to movies” etc. is it you initiating and how much of it is hers?

and C.) basically i;ve had a fuckbuddy for about 8 months (on and off a little, pretty tight game) and i want to convert it to a stable LTR where she is in love with me. What would you say is the best way to do this?

Think of it like you’re in a car that’s on a super steep hill, holding the brake (fuckbuddies). All you’re doing is easing up on the brake and letting the car start going forward faster and faster, you’re not necessarily pressing on the gas.

So for it to happen organically VS looking like you’re desperate/needy, it can take a little time depending on where you’re starting from, your schedules, how big a leap you’re making etc. So if the first night you meet her you end up spending two weeks in bed together (say you both met on vacation or something), she’s gonna’ be in love. But if you’re 8 months of seeing her once a week in, and you suggest spending two weeks together that’s gonna’ set off all sorts of “woah, he’s looking for commitment now” flags in her head because you’re changing the situation up dramatically all of a sudden…and the conversations/attitudes you’ve had with her about monogamy/relationships/etc. are going to affect how she views that stuff.

But say after 8 months, you guys bang and fall asleep and in the morning instead of kicking her out like you normally would, you say “I’m starving…lets get some breakfast.” and take her to some diner up the street for bacon & eggs, THEN send her home, it’s a tiny little thing but it starts that car moving down that hill.

Then maybe the next week you let a txt conversation go longer than you normally would, maybe get it into sexting and then tell her she should come over that week so that now you’re gonna’ end up hooking up together twice in one week instead of the usual once a week but you blame the sexting convo and that it made you horny and you want to see her in that one dress bla bla

Then maybe every few weeks she offers an invite to do something like go to a movie or hang with her friends (the problem with being 8 months in is that you may have trained this behavior out of her already lol) and instead of going “fuck no” like you normally would, you let her drag you to whatever it is a few times and then after doing it a few times you let it slip that you kiiiiind of maaaaaybe don’t entirely mind it TOOOO much, and in her mind she goes “yesssss!! I’m winning him over!! :)”

Being 8 months in you probably COULD just go “hey, let’s go on a fucking date.” lol but I like the girl to feel like she’s winning me over because they get a kick out of that (Bella winning over Edward and all that chick-romance shit) and it avoids the beta/needy frame because I’m like, begrudgingly becoming open to a relationship with her, VS begging for one.

And if she’s out the door before you eat and doesn’t invite you to anything and raises an eyebrow when you invite her over on a day you don’t normally invite her over, she might ask questions you’ll have to laugh off, or she might not be there herself, or more likely after 8 months is that you’ve trained her you not expect any of that so it would be a foreign thing to her, and then you’d probably have to be a bit more pro-active.

A) Just see her more often, and/or see her on nights you’d normally go out and hang with or meet other girls, and when she asks about like “your going out tonight?” say stuff like “nah too much work to do” or “no I’m exhausted I figured I’d just stay in tonight” etc.

B) Ideally she initiates and you begrudgingly allow it to happen as she slowly wins you over, that’s the best frame possible because they love that feeling of taming the bad boy. But if you’ve trained those hopes out of her then you might have to initiate more and deal with the subsequent “wtf is with you??” questions

C) Slow & steady, let her win you over. It’s a LOT easier to do in winter where people don’t go out as much and everyone’s lonely and wants a reliable warm body for the cold winter nights, but it should be do-able this time of year. If she mentions she needs a date for a wedding or something, be her date (I usually say stuff like “is there free food? Can I get hammered? Do I get to wear my suit?” like those are the reasons I’d want to go, and then at the wedding I just be all boyfriendy with her).

You could be super-proactive and lay down a dramatic speech about how she’s better than other girls and how you’ve burned your little black book of phone numbers and chosen her because shes The One etc. etc. but that’s starting things out in the frame of you chasing/needing her instead of the other way around so it’s not ideal compared to her winning you over.

D) Oh ya, they’ll shit-test the fuck out of you after 8 months if you’re too pro-active too fast. Like if she invites you to a wedding and you begrudgingly agree to be her date, she won’t shit-test you. But if you’ve been seeing her only on Sundays for 8 months and then suddenly you’re like “hey, come over” on a Wednesday and when she gets there you’re like “we’re going to dinner” and take her to some nice restaurant, she’s going to be like “what’s going on? Are you dying?” and shit-test you like crazy lol So ideally you let things progress just fast enough to avoid shit-testing…if you get shit-tested, it’s a sign you’re probably moving a bit faster than you should.

Ironically it would actually be faster to get a new girl to fall in love with you than an 8 month fuckbuddy, because with the new girl there’s no established patterns of behavior yet so you can do a bunch of stuff that’ll get her to fall for you without getting shit-tested because she has no frame of reference that you’re doing anything unusual, but an 8 month FB will notice deviations in your patterns…so a new girl could fall in love and be turned into a doting LTR in a week, but it could take like a month or two to get your 8 month FB into an LTR where she still feels like you’re the prize and she’s lovingly doting on you.

Hope that helps, and good luck! Also when you DO get her into an LTR, I recommend still going out with buddies now and then and letting her wonder what you’re up to…don’t take all of the mystery away and just become obsessed with eachother or she’ll get bored. Part of why she’s into you is that you’re cool social attractive with tight game etc., so don’t throw that all out completely lol

@ya really: I agree with all that and can relate that it’s pretty much through through experiences.

However, since it has been sooo long of doing this low communication fucking it’s like Id actually rather want to see her more and talk to her more………ya know? Like a normal relationship. I also want her to show that she needs me b/c us guys feel good about ourselves when that happens….but maybe that just not how it is? And she is a young very high smv girl.

For instance I get thrown off by every little time I ask her to kick it and she has something like an interview or just any time she “pushes” for whatever reason. A couple months ago she asked if I was seeing anyone else and I reacted to it as a shit test and she said she wanted to be more relationshipy but I had an obligation so I had to go and we never defined the relationship. Still seeing her though.

My goal I guess is to ease into being more relationshipy like you said: text conversations longer, more frequent handouts that are high action activities maybe, and more openess to her handouts. Also she never really initiates much with me prob b/c she’s so high smv. I just get mindfucked when she (rarely) “has something in the way” and can’t hang out. I kinda wish I said I wasn’t seeing anyone else when she asked a while ago but a part of me thinks that’s good. Keep In mind I do not come off as a beta loser with emotions to her outside this rant ha.

re read what you said in C like 10 times and smash your nuts with a hammer.

dont do shit. you try and logically move to LTR and shes gone. i have the “double standard” talk where i unequivocally and jokingly state that i can do what i want but she has to be good.

if she wants something long term, she will laugh and jump at it and agree, then start slowly testing you for other girls. never play it straight either. never ever ever admit shes the only one. ever. until you die.

i never do the “gonna be a lil late” stuff because women do this same shit to confirm with you (only if she wants to call ya papi tho). they see right through it because it already exists in their own toolbox.

so never confirm directly… few hours before on the day of, strike up a quick text convo about anything other than the date. then judge her flakihood by the eagerness of her responses (how quickly she replies, the length of her replies, is she using a lot of emoticons, etc). if she’s happy to talk to you she should be happy to meet. also, if she’s still on for the date, she’ll find a way to bring it up, especially if you don’t

serves 2 purposes: lets you know if she’s likely to flake and allows some escalation before the actual meet which means less work irl. if she’s responding well, all you’ll need when you meet is a lil kino and boom, she’s ready to leave the venue early… with you

Never talk about the thing, what ever it is. HBs hate it when you’re on the nose as it displays a lack of wit and social grace.

She knows why you made contact (sex) and hamster will allow you to save face if you play it smooth. Hamster will let you do anything as long as you keep your frame. She wants to know you are in control so she can let go.

She will bring up the future (plans) because it’s on her mind and HBs can’t help but spit out everything they “think”, which is why you never should.

Alright guys, remember the French girl at school I told you I’d keep you posted on?

It never turned into a lay. Just never felt “right” to me. But I keep this girl as a friend. Had her buy me chocolate one time. Had her over to my place one time and we hit the park, lunch, and cuddled a bit on the couch.

I haven’t done anything, or gone out of my way for her at all, although I bought her a cheap little horse stencil book on a trip once, because she’s a crazy horse girl.

So when there is catering to be done, she’s the one catering to me. She always asks to hang out and stuff at school, messages me on Facebook and so on. Gets visibly jealous when I talk about other girls.

Anyway, on to the point of this post.

I get a message from her on Facebook this evening…

“Hey. So I was working at the ball parkkk. I saw the HOTTTESST. Guy ever. He reminded me of you, but not in a complimenting you kind of way. But he had his hair like (blah blah) and it sort of looks like the way you have it in this pic on your profile, only different and you should do it like his. He was like you except way taller and blonde”

I took this as a big shit test and replied, “I bet a lot of things remind you of me. Stop trying to change me into your dream man.”

What do you gentleman gather from the message and the rest of the post? How did I handle the shit test?

I took some CH advice and prematurely friend-zoned her in the past, btw. And frankly, I don’t think of her sexually, despite her being a cute French chick.

Her: “Hey. So I was working at the ball parkkk. I saw the HOTTTESST. Guy ever. He reminded me of you, but not in a complimenting you kind of way. But he had his hair like (blah blah) and it sort of looks like the way you have it in this pic on your profile, only different and you should do it like his. He was like you except way taller and blonde”

You: What a coincidence, I saw a girl walking her dog that reminded me of you…

I tend to agree and think it not only conveys lower value of the man but also assumes the woman is of lower value too. It can even devalue the date itself by decreasing the excitement of meeting someone since there’s already been recent contact. Let the anticipation build a bit. If the date involves a plane flight, the need to coordinate might overrule that. Barring that, trust the woman to show up. If she doesn’t, do something else. Its not a moon landing; its a date🙂

And now a word from one of the elders of the group. I’m mid-fifties, dating as far below my age as I can manage but that tends to be mid-thirties at best. Girls of that age are keenly aware that their expiration date is long passed and are desparate for anything that validates their beauty and sexuality. “Wear something fun” is downright nuclear for those girls; a text like that will often have them go all out to impress you. It’s a good way to start the evening, especially if you see that they’ve made an effort and make a pithy comment on it. Remember what James Bond said to Mary Goodnight before their evening together, in response to her question of what to wear: “Tight in all the right places. Not too many buttons.”

CH are they seriously *still* pushing this “have it all” thing? It’s so fucking lame and obviously discredited. THeyh should be embarrassed to continue to suggest anyone, man or woman, should expect or strive to “have it all” meaning full time mom and full time career. Men never get to have it all. difference is we would not expect to.