Many of us want equality to be synonymous with fairness — maybe because it seems easier to make things equal than to navigate the complexity of fairness. But think about raising kids. Did you make sure everything was equal?

I doubt you kept track of each dollar spent to make sure it was the same for each child. One child may need braces, while the other has straight teeth. One may need money for music and sports, while the other doesn’t have an interest in those types of things. One child could have health issues and another doesn’t. One could need help with college, while another gets a scholarship. We provide our kids with what is appropriate and what we think they need, regardless of whether it is equal.

And the same should be true of your estate plan. Sometimes, it is okay to treat your children “unequally” because this really may be the fairest approach.

Here are six instances in which you might not want to treat your kids equally when it comes to your plan:

Greater financial need. One of your kids may need more help financially. Kids are not equal in terms of their financial success or ability to succeed in a career. One of them may simply need more than others because of their financial situation.

Health needs. A child (or even a grandchild) may have health needs that result in increased costs. Health issues can also limit one’s work options or earning potential, therefore making their need for financial assistance greater.

One may not need it. For instance, if a disabled child already has their basic needs taken care of through government benefits and healthcare, then it could make things harder for that child to receive money from your estate. If you are confident that siblings will help provide for any extras this person may have in the future, you may be able to disinherit that child without affecting their quality of life.

Some are better stewards. If one child has consistently made bad financial choices, and you have repeatedly bailed them out, it might make sense to leave them less because you are not confident they would use it well. Or, if you do decide to leave them a similar amount, you may want to take steps to protect their inheritance with specific rules, and someone to help manage it for them. (But not a sibling!)

Early inheritance. Quite often adult children have a significant financial need and parents give them substantial help. After this happens, it might be good to consider adjusting the amount that child would receive in an inheritance. When this situation occurs, without adjusting the amount left in the estate, the child who didn’t need help often feels they are being punished for never needing help.

Family farm or business. One child may rely on the family farm or business for their livelihood. If one child has spent a lifetime helping you grow your farm or business, it may be best to leave them more of the total estate so their livelihood is not negatively affected.

Some people still can’t get over the “unfairness” of leaving “unequal” amounts to their children. If you decide to leave equal amounts to each child, we encourage you to consider leaving specially tailored rules for each child, so the inheritance can be handled more fairly.

Protecting Our Kids From Threats

Another important part of an effective estate plan is helping protect our kids from threats. Whether it’s their own wild spending, a future divorce, a lawsuit or financial problems, an effective plan can help anticipate and mitigate these types of challenges. Some kids are more exposed to threats than others. Some kids are better able to handle money than others. The rules you create for your plan need to reflect that. As a parent you should feel free to handle things how you think best, without being tied by guilt into making everything exactly equal.

Involve Your Kids in the Planning Process

We often encourage our clients to involve their family in the planning process. This is especially important when considering leaving “unequal” inheritances. Effective communication with your family about why you have decided to do things the way you have can eliminate a legacy of misunderstanding, misinterpretation of your actions, and pain that children experience when parents don’t communicate about the plan ahead of time.

We have seen many adult children upset by their interpretation of their parents’ plan when the parents leave behind no explanation for their rationale, or fail to discuss ahead of time why they’ve chosen to do what they have. Estate plans can seem like a final accounting of a parent’s love. Because of this, it is really important to do the hard work of communicating with your family, either ahead of time or through your plan.

As with many estate planning matters, this is a complicated one with best solutions varying from family to family. We can’t possibly cover all the nuances in one blog post. Our process walks families through difficult decisions like whether to leave equal amounts to your children in your plan. You have the knowledge about your unique family. We are the experienced guide that helps create an effective plan based on that knowledge. If we can be of assistance to your family, please give us a call at 217-726-9200. If you’d like to learn more about creating an effective estate plan, we encourage you to attend our next introductory workshop, Wills & Trusts: How to Get Started. It’s a great first step towards peace of mind and protecting those you love.

Many families fight over the personal property “stuff” as much as they fight over money. (Sometimes even more than they fight over money.) When it comes to preventing a big fight after you die, it’s not enough to deal with the financial items. You must deal with property that has emotional or family value.

Because of this, I encourage clients to create a “special stuff list” that directs certain items to the people they want those items to go to. This list, which is officially called a Memorandum for Distribution of Personal Property, is then incorporated into the Will or Living Trust.

7 Things to Consider When Making Your “Special Stuff” List

1. What did your parents or grandparents pass down to you that you want to pass on?

2. What items bring back the most memories of your family time?

3. Have you discussed with family what they might want? Some families have a “lottery” style selection process where they openly discuss item by item what they may want. Others prepare a “fire inventory” list of their belongings and then send copies to their children, requesting that the children mark the items they want on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being they want that item the most. Once the children return their lists to the parents, the parents can then more adequately assess who will get what.

4. How will you preserve the stories behind the items? Write out the story, record a video or audio clip about it. Even a few short sentences will mean a lot when you’re gone.

6. Make sure your “special stuff” list or letter is signed and dated, with copies sent to your attorney. Also keep copies with your Will or Living Trust paperwork.

7. In order to better identify items, take photos and include them with your “special stuff” list.

A Few More Things to Consider…

While creating your list, don’t assume the things you find valuable will be the same things your family finds valuable. It’s always better to communicate about what you want to leave, and to whom, beforehand. Maybe you want your granddaughter to have your birthstone earrings, but maybe she’d rather have the old battered, blue pottery bowl that you used to make pudding in together. You might never know the bowl was meaningful to her without a conversation, and you might even throw it out without any consideration, thinking, “Nobody’ll want this ol’ thing.”

It’s very difficult to see families torn apart by issues like “who gets Grandma’s yellow pie plate?” Our firm is always seeking ways to make planning easier for you, and we are really excited about our latest resource: Your “Special Stuff” List Worksheet. Set aside an afternoon to spend going through the worksheet line by line, and you should be well on your way to making sure your family will still be speaking to each other after you’re gone.

As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to call us at 217-726-9200. We will be more than happy to help you in any way possible.

Anyone who starts an IRA early, in their teens or 20’s, will see it grow to huge amounts by retirement. But young people often don’t have the funds to put into an IRA in the early years. The solution? If you have the means, help your grandchildren put money into an IRA as soon as they start working their first part-time job, or as soon as you can. What do I mean? If you have the means, give each grandchild with a job (they have to have income to do an IRA) $5500 with the stipulation that they put it into a Roth IRA. Even if you only do this for a few years, it will make a HUGE difference in their retirement later.

2. Use your IRA for charitable giving

Do you plan to leave money to a charity or church at your death? If so, use IRA funds to do it. If you leave the IRA to charity, there will be no tax on the IRA because the charity is tax exempt. Uncle Sam will be out of luck. How do you do this? Name a charity on your IRA beneficiary designation or consider using a donor advised fund at the Community Foundation for the Land of Lincoln (to direct funds to the charities you choose).

3. Explode your wealth with those unwanted RMD’s

Once you are age 70, you have to take out a minimum amount (RMD) from your traditional IRA each year. What do you plan to do with that money? Do you need it? If not, what about using it to create more wealth for your family? One option is to buy a life insurance policy using your RMD every year to pay the premium. The benefits? More money at death, plus the life insurance death benefit is income tax free! (Unlike the IRA that has a built-in tax bill for your family.)

4. Again, consider your grandchildren (and children)

Why not leave some (or all) of your IRA to your grandchildren? Worried about skipping your children? What about getting life insurance to make up the difference? The result? Save income taxes, bless the grandkids, and leave your kids tax-free life insurance funds (instead of an IRA with a tax bill).

If your family will stretch the IRA, the biggest bang is to use the Roth IRA. Convert the IRA now to a Roth, avoid the RMD’s during your life, then give your family tax free distributions for years or decades. Poor Uncle Sam will be left out! (But remember to consult your tax advisor regarding the timing and amount of those Roth conversions.)

When it comes to your IRA, there are some planning traps you need to look out for…

Here are 7 IRA planning problems to consider:

1. Incorrect beneficiaries – This is very basic, but often overlooked. Confirm that the beneficiaries are set up correctly. If you lack a beneficiary, then the account will go to your estate, limiting your “stretch” to as little as 5 years. Have you named the wrong beneficiaries or are you missing someone (like a new grandchild)? If you have named a trust as the beneficiary, was that done as part of a detailed plan with an attorney experienced in IRA trust planning?

2. A “blow out” instead of a “stretch out” – Remember, a big goal of IRA planning is to pay the taxes later by doing a “stretch” IRA. This means that we want your child to be able to take out the IRA over their life expectancy. But many kids don’t do it. In fact, the vast majority of kids take out the entire IRA within a couple years of death. Why do kids take it out (and pay the taxes now)? Here are a few reasons:

They wrongly think they can roll it into their own IRA (so they take it all out, triggering tax, then it’s too late to put back in).

They cash out a Roth IRA because it’s tax free, not realizing they are missing out on years of tax free growth in the future.

3. Not getting good advice – Many families have cashed out retirement funds or annuities and are later surprised by a big tax bill. Good advice from your attorney and tax advisor after death will help the family understand the options.

4. Not considering younger generations – Do you like your grandkids? Well, what about saving tax while helping out your grandchildren? The younger the beneficiary of your IRA, the longer the stretch and the bigger the tax savings. You might consider giving your IRA’s (or part of them) to your grandchildren.

5. Naming grandchildren as direct beneficiaries – What if someone took our advice about younger generations and decided to name grandchildren as IRA beneficiaries? That’s good, right? Well, yes, but there could also be problems. If you name a minor child as beneficiary, the IRA company may require a court guardianship before the grandchild can benefit from the IRA. Then, at age 18, the grandchild gets control of the IRA, regardless of the remaining amount. (And we all know what happens when 18-year-olds inherit large sums of money.)

6. Not considering a trust to hold IRA funds after death – Many people incorrectly think that leaving an IRA to a trust will trigger tax on the entire IRA. But this is not true. IRA funds and trusts require special expertise and planning, but a properly drafted trust can hold an IRA and still benefit from the stretch out. And using a trust can help avoid the “blow out” mentioned in #2, while protecting the money from young heirs, future divorces or other unforeseen risks.

7. Not converting to a Roth IRA – Converting to a Roth IRA means you pay taxes now and then future growth of the IRA is tax free. If you don’t need the money, and you can afford to pay the taxes, converting to a Roth may give your family more money later. Let’s ay you convert to a Roth at age 70. A Roth IRA has no RMD (required minimum distributions) so if you live to be age 95, you will have had 25 years of tax free growth that you can leave to the family. And the kids (or grankids) can have another 30-50+ years of tax-free growth if they “stretch” the Roth IRA. Converting to a Roth IRA is a great tool, but please consult your tax advisor first. Make you know how much tax will be owed before you move funds to the Roth IRA.

I have a piece of clothing we simply call “my favorite sweatshirt.” I think it’s about 20 years old. I may have had it when I graduated from law school in 1995. If not, I got it shortly after that. (The picture to the left is from 1998.) We have a family friend who swears I was wearing it when she first met me in 1997.

It’s gotten a lot of use over the years. Especially on Christmas! What else does a guy grab to wear when relaxing over the holidays? His favorite sweatshirt, of course.

Looking back at Christmas pictures this past year, you could see the sweatshirt showing up year after year… after year.

It’s still my favorite sweatshirt. But I fear its days are numbered. The “Illinois Law” is getting more and more faded. The ends of the sleeves are unraveling and ripped. But it’s so soft and comfortable!

About 10 years ago, I got a “replacement favorite sweatshirt.” Same design, same color. I still have it, but it’s somewhere in the back of the closet. It looks the same (a little brighter) but it definitely doesn’t feel the same. So it doesn’t end up getting worn.

20 years ago my favorite sweatshirt was new. I bought it at the bookstore at the U of I College of Law. Now it’s ragged and my wife has grounded me from wearing it outside the house.

A lot has changed in 20 years — for my sweatshirt, for me, for our family.

How about you? What has changed in your life in the past 20 years?Has your estate plan kept up with the changes?

Life is constantly changing. And that means your plan needs to be regularly updated. With our Dynasty Program, things like that happen automatically. When you’re on your own, it’s very important to regularly assess what updates might be needed.

Creating a “special stuff list” will go a long way in keeping the peace once you’re gone.

Sadly, in my line of work, I see families fighting much more often than I would like. And while the media might lead you to believe it’s all about the money, oftentimes the fights are about things like Grandma’s curio cabinet full of keepsakes.

When it comes to preventing a big fight after you die, a will just isn’t enough. Even with an effective will, there is plenty of room for disagreement and fighting. Because of this, I encourage clients to create a “special stuff list” that directs certain items to the people they want those items to go to. This list, which is officially called a Memorandum for Distribution of Personal Property, is then incorporated into the Will or Living Trust.

Here are 7 things to consider when making your “special stuff list”:

1. What did your parents or grandparents pass down to you that you want to pass on?

2. What items bring back the most memories of your family time?

3. Have you discussed with family what items they might want?

4. How will you preserve the stories behind the items? Write out the story and record a video or audio about it. Even a few short sentences will mean a lot.

A Few More Things to Consider

While creating your list, don’t assume the things you find valuable will be the same things your family finds valuable. It’s always better to communicate about what you want to leave, and to whom, beforehand. Maybe you want your granddaughter to have your birthstone earrings, but maybe she’d rather have that old battered, blue pottery bowl that you used to make pudding in when she visited. You might never know the bowl was meaningful to her without a conversation, and you might even throw it out without any consideration, thinking, “Nobody’ll want this ol’ thing.”

A good resource on the matter is Who Gets Grandma’s Pie Plate, a resource developed by University of Minnesota professor, Marlene Stum. On her website, Stum gives tips about broaching the awkward topic of inheritance. Read Critical Conversations About Inheritance: Can We Talk?here for more. This article, from Consumer Reports, also has some good tips.

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you’ve probably seen the birthday hat. I wore it for my birthday a couple weeks ago. It’s really tall and colorful — kind of like something The Cat in the Hat would wear, only this hat has Mickey Mouse on it.

Like many families, we have our own special traditions. Family traditions are one of the things that make working with families so wonderful. No two are alike. Each one is special.

My family’s birthday hat came about because my mom saw a similar tradition she liked with a friend of hers, so when my brother and his wife went to Disney, they found the perfect hat to start our family’s tradition. They bought it and carried it around the park all day. And then they hand carried it on the plane so it wouldn’t get squished! My mom received it as a Christmas present in 2005, and we’ve been celebrating with it ever since.

When Bailey was nearing her 4th birthday, my dad asked her what she wanted. She said, “I want to eat ice cream and wear the funny hat!” She recently turned 7 and she’s still wearing the hat for her birthdays.

Why are family traditions so important? Here are 5 quick reasons:

1. They create memories that last a lifetime.
2. They give family members a stronger sense of belonging.
3. They help impart the family’s values.
4. They give children/teens a sense of security.
5. They keep generations in contact and give them something in common.

Family traditions have even been linked to higher family strength and higher family satisfaction. What special family traditions do you have for celebrating the milestones of life?

A few years go, the kids went to the grandparents’ and we spent the weekend in St. Louis. We were staying near Laclede’s Landing at a new hotel near the Lumiere Place Casino. The evening after we checked in, we headed out to do some serious gambling.

We stopped at the penny slots and started playing. About 10 minutes later, we hit a big jackpot! Being up all of $12, we decided to quit while we were ahead.

Do you enjoy gambling? We find that most of our clients don’t like to roll the dice about their planning. Instead, they want to tie it down so they can have real peace of mind.

Not planning ahead to protect your family and your assets is gambling.

What will happen if you die suddenly? What will happen if you need long term care?

Leaving things to chance is a gamble and the losses can be HUGE.

With good planning, you can have real peace of mind and not gamble that these vitally important things will just work out. By planning ahead, you can avoid these 4 hardships:

1. Stress. You wouldn’t purposefully place extra stress on your spouse or your kids, would you? But a lack of planning on your part can do just that, leaving everyone to wonder, “What should we do? Who do we contact?” Good planning makes it easier on your loved ones by providing a clear plan.

2. Delay. Messy estate plans take longer to wrap up, causing the stress and extra work of an estate to drag on and on. Good planning helps things get wrapped up as quickly as possible.

3. Conflict. Lack of planning can lead to arguments in the family. Arguments between siblings, between step-mom and step-kids, between nieces and nephews. Good planning will make it easy on the family, making less to fight about and less stress that can lead to conflict.

4. Loss of life savings. Lack of planning can result in the loss of your wealth — to the nursing home, to probate expenses, to taxes, to creditors or to wild spending by your heirs. Good planning will protect what you have worked so hard for.

If you’re interested in learning more about effective planning, check out one of our upcoming workshops. They are a free and no pressure way to get started! And, as always, if you have any questions at all or are unsure of what your next step should be, give us a call at 217-726-9200. Tarina would be more than happy to chat with you.

http://edwardsgroupllc.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/USE-Logo-estate-planning-280x100.png00edwardsadminhttp://edwardsgroupllc.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/USE-Logo-estate-planning-280x100.pngedwardsadmin2014-03-25 15:39:392014-04-29 15:39:52Advice for Those Who Haven't Planned Yet

I remember a phone call I had with a company who sells software to law firms. Their product seemed like something that might be helpful, and I was interested to learn more. I spent an hour on the phone with this guy and things looked good — until the salesman ruined it.

In the last 5 minutes he got really pushy. I told him to give us a couple weeks to think about how this would fit with our firm and then check back with us. But he wouldn’t let it go. I’m sure he was following some sales training tactics he had been taught. Those tactics completely backfired.

I don’t want to be pushed into something I’m not sure about. I like to have time to think things over before I spend money. And I think most everybody feels that same way.

Nobody wants to be pressured into buying something they don’t really want or need.

And that’s one thing you’ll find about Edwards Group if you get to know us — I’m not a very “good” salesman. And I don’t want to be.

Why?

Because I don’t really want to sell you anything.What I want to do is educate you about the ways we can help your family.

We do things a little differently around here. Not everyone is a good fit to work with our firm. That’s why we focus so much of our attention and effort on making sure you’re educated about your options and the way things work before any payment is ever exchanged.

Because I’m not a good salesman, you don’t have to worry about being put in an uncomfortable situation or being coerced into agreeing to something that isn’t a good fit for your family.

Because I’m not a good salesman, you can be sure that if you decide to work with us, we’ll form a great team who can work together to protect your family.

And because of that, you don’t have to worry about wasting your hard-earned money on a plan that doesn’t fit your family or was designed with another family in mind. Each of our plans are designed in collaboration with you, with the unique needs of your family as the guiding force in the process.

We understand that meeting with a lawyer can be intimidating. That’s another part of the reason we’ve designed our process the way we have. We don’t mind if you take a little time to get to know us first.

Our free, no pressure workshops are a great way to learn more about the planning needs your family may have. They are also a great way to get to know our firm better. If, after attending a workshop, you would like to take the next step, you will receive $200 off your initial meeting fee.

Not ready to talk to a person yet? We have put a lot of our time into developing a website that contains helpful information about all aspects of planning. You’ll find hundreds of articles about estate planning, trusts, Veterans benefits, Medicaid and Medicare on our website. Feel free to use the search button to quickly get to what you need.

No matter what, I hope that you will take the time to learn about ways to protect your family and your assets. The other side of our practice involves helping people who didn’t plan properly clean up the mess that’s left behind. My sincere desire would be for every family to have effective planning strategies in place and for no family to have to experience the effects of bad planning. Take a step in the right direction today by attending a workshop, giving us a call, or signing up for our weekly email newsletter.

Bailey has noticed that I talk to other cars a lot when I’m driving. When someone’s being slow I might say, “Come on out there, buddy, pull right out there.” Or “come on, you can do it,” when they hesitate just a little too long before pulling out so I can go.

As with just about everything in life, this reminds me of planning. No matter how much I talk to the other drivers in those cars, it doesn’t really do a whole lot of good. And that’s just like planning. Talking about planning doesn’t actually do any good,unless you do something about it. Whether that’s nursing home planning, estate planning, death planning, life care planning or special needs planning, talking about it or even coming to workshops and learning more doesn’t do any good unless you move ahead.

So what’s your next step in planning?

1. Attend a workshop – If you already know a little bit about planning, and want to know what it would be like to work with Edwards Group, we encourage you to check out one of our workshops. In addition to getting valuable information about the process, you’ll get to meet David and have the opportunity to ask him questions. We have two workshops going right now:

Intro to Edwards Group: Wills and Trusts Orientation – This workshop is the first step towards protecting your loved ones. You’ll learn about the 4 main reasons most estate plans “just don’t work” and how our process avoids these problems. You’ll also learn how we guide you through the process every step of the way and how our fees are structured. And just for attending this 60-minute workshop, you’ll receive $200 off our Initial Meeting fee. Click here for upcoming dates.

Life Care Planning: 13 Costly Misconceptions About Healthcare and Aging – This workshop expands upon our free Family’s Guide to Elder Law discussing 13 costly misconceptions about healthcare for your aging parents, the 6 stages of Life Care Planning, what long-term care insurance will and will not pay for, how to avoid losing control of your assets, when your parents should consider a reverse mortgage and when they shouldn’t, and much more.

To attend one of our free workshops, all it takes is a call to Tarina at 217-726-9200 to reserve yourself a spot. (Our workshops tend to fill up, so we want to make sure everyone has a seat.)

2. Call to schedule your Initial Meeting – At your meeting with David Edwards, which usually lasts about 45 minutes, we will review your concerns and goals. Dave will also help you understand the unique risks facing your family. Clients find this meeting to be very valuable in helping them understand their options. By the end of the meeting, you should understand your planning options, what they will cost and whether Edwards Group is the right firm for you. There will be no hard sale. We want all of our clients to feel comfortable before starting to work with us. It’s one of the keys to drafting a successful plan.

Did you know that Tarina was a client before she started working at Edwards Group? And one of her favorite parts of the job is talking to people who have questions or might be a little nervous about starting the process of planning. If you have any questions at all, she’d be happy to chat with you. Just give her a call at 217-726-9200.

3. Help your friends and family learn more – If you’ve already worked with us and had a positive experience, we encourage you to share all you’ve learned along the way with friends and loved ones who might need to know what you now know. One of the easiest ways to do this is by requesting our free guide:

Family’s Guide to Elder Law – In this free guide you’ll learn 13 costly misconceptions about healthcare for your aging parents, 6 stages of Life Care Planning, 12 reasons not to give your property to your kids right now, 7 essential questions to ask so your parents have an effective plan for the last decade of life, 3 smart ways to increase your parents’ monthly income and bring peace of mind, 6 ways to get good care without going to a nursing home, 20 red flags that signal when your will or living trust are out of date, and much much more. Just give Tarina a call at 217-726-9200 and she’ll send one out to you.

The most important part of creating an effective plan and achieving peace of mind is actually taking a step forward. Many people think about planning for years… and then all of a sudden it can be too late. Effective planning is much easier achieved before a crisis hits.