This past Sunday’s episode 9 of HBO “Girls”, entitled “Leave Me Alone,” didn’t have a lot of dating themes but it was still exciting for me to watch it as I recognized a lot of my own doubts and insecurities from way back when.

The episode starts with Hannah going to a book launch event in honor of her former classmate Tally Schiffrin. Immediately, Hannah starts the self loathing as she tries to process how Tally (who’s supposedly a worse writer) could have managed to publish her own memoir “Leave Me Alone.”

I guess for Tally, having a boyfriend who killed himself on purpose by crashing his vintage car while on Percocet is enough of a base to write a memoir on but for Hannah, it becomes the basis for her jealousy. “She’s so lucky,” laments Hannah. “Your boyfriend should kill himself,” says Jessa. “You deserve it.”

Whether Jessa meant that or not, I couldn’t help but laugh. The more I get to know Jessa, the more I become fond of her. Marnie may be the motherly figure in Hannah’s life but Jessa is the only one who seems to not take Hannah too seriously and knows when to call her out.

Writing this now makes me realize why Jessa is such a great flirt. The carelessness, aloofness, spontaneity in her attitude on life is what makes her most attractive. Lots of people take dating too seriously and turns each new conversations into an interview and a chore instead of keeping things light and fun.

Skipping ahead, I want to express my love for Ray as well. Ray started as a supporting character but I could see him develop into a a more leading role. I am still waiting for him and Shoshanna to develop some form of romantic connection. As it seems, Hannah is taking a job at Cafe Grumpy and Ray delivers his best lines as he sends her home to change her outfit. I guess no one told Hannah that wearing a white dress to work in the food service is a big faux pas.

“Hannah, you are wearing a white dress! Ok? You’re essentially begging the world to fuck with you,” says Ray. “Do you understand that? You are daring a homeless person to wipe their blood on your breasts… Forget all of the BBC you watch at home with your cats and pick out an appropriate outfit.”

Ray must be the most real guy on the show so far. His few moments on screen have always been the most enjoyable for me. His no-nonsense attitude is what makes him so relatable. If Hannah is the voice of her generation, Ray is the voice of every guy out there as he reminds Hannah to pick “Just a nice cute top.” “Stop by American Apparel if you need to and get a slim leg, jeans with a slim leg! Slim leg!”

To finish off the episode, we witness a break-up between two of the major characters. I don’t want to spoil it for you so go watch it and come back and listen to my podcast.

In this review, I speak about:

Comparing yourself to others vs being happy with yourself

When self-deprecating humor is detrimental to your dating chances of success

How people’s expectations of you influence you for the better or the worse

How mending your relationship with your parents can be a necessary step in your growth into a confident person

What women might be looking from you when they share, whine and complain about their day to you

Being grateful and taking chances in life

Doing more of the things you haven’t tried before. If you aren’t doing things that are uncomfortable to you, you are not growing.