Hello ladies! My husband and I have been TTC for 8 years but only recently had the problem diagnosed. Low sperm count/low morphology/low motility. Hubby doesn't have a vericocele so they took some blood to see if he has low testosterone. I'm worried, as this is our last shot-if his testosterone is normal, there's nothing they can do to help us except for IVF, and that's just not something we can afford. Since I check out OK, we have broached the subject of using donor sperm and hubby is open to the idea. I was wondering what your thoughts are as to the pros/cons, esp if you have had a child using donor sperm. We are kind of jumping the gun to be discussing this now before we even know if DH can be helped, but I guess we're just super eager to conceive since we've been waiting so long.

I'm just wondering...do you tell the child? What about your family and friends? How much choice to you have in picking the donor-can you pick someone that is similar in looks? If the child looked close enough to ours I don't think I'd want everyone to know he's not DH's baby. But as for the child, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth to consider never telling him the truth. I think I would feel betrayed if my parents had done that to me. And if you tell him, when? Raise him with the truth or break it to him when he's older?

Any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated as we consider this option. Thank you!

"Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying." Romans 12:12

hi vraklis, I think it depends on how yu fell about it yourself, If neither you or Dh minds then absolutely go for it, I think that ttc by donnor sper, isnt the same as dh raising a step child or anything like that, its still a mutual proccess, he can be with you and hold your hand etc and definately be part of the process, this is going to sound weird but my parents decided many years ago to try for a baby with donnor sperm, they werent successful at the time probably because of my mums age. but they were totally fine with the decission to use donnor sperm, they had to both had to have a couple of councelling sessions to check that they were both ok with it all, and i think that telling child by the age of 18 was compulsory, same as with adoption,

This was uk, and i dont know where you are and if your policies on AID are the same.

Have you tried any natural supplements for his count? My DH has had a varicocele pretty much his entire life which was lowering his testosterone causing a low count along with low everything else. His first count came back with just 4 living sperm and we were told immediately we needed to do IVF. If he couldn't produce enough for the procedure they would try to go in to harvest more or we'd have to look into other options. I did a lot of research on what natural supplements can raise a sperm count and put him on everything I found! I even went into a vitamin store and asked what they suggested. Poor guy was taking about 20 vitamins a day. The urologist also put him on clomid which also raises testosterone. In 3 months his count went from 4 to over 40 million and by his next SA it was over 80 million and we got pregnant on our own.

Thank you for your thoughts, all-cried-out. And thank you for sharing that, Sarah, I was iffy on supplements but you're the second person to encourage me to try it. Do you have a list of the supplements your hubby was taking? We're waiting for the results on his blood test for the testosterone level to see if clomid would help him. Either way, supplements can't hurt!

"Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying." Romans 12:12

He was taking a men's Multi vitamin, zinc, Folic acid, Maca root, vitamin c, l-Carnitine and astragalus root. When I went to the vitamin store I told them what issue I was trying to fix and they had a book with every condition you can think of. We looked up low sperm count and I just picked a bunch of stuff out. Good thing is everything was pretty cheap.

Thank you so much! I use swansons.com and for purchasing vitamins and everything you listed, plus some CoQ10 which is another thing I've heard that helps, would be about $40 for a 2-3 months supply. Not too shabby.

"Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying." Romans 12:12

Quick update- we tried supplements to no avail and ultimately did go with a donor insemination. Worked first try and we now have a 15 month old son. We are so happy - only took us 13 years but well worth the wait!

"Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying." Romans 12:12

Oh and another update, we are raising him knowing a donor helped us to have him. I made a special book for him through shutterfly that tells his story with pictures of us and the profile of the donor in it, along with our doctor and nurses that all had a hand in helping us get him. He loves it.

"Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying." Romans 12:12