Adam Cayton-Holland

Latest Stories

Being single on Valentine's Day is a lot like being Amish in America, which is to say you are rendered completely irrelevant. You're a roadside freak show, a meaningless distraction for gawking tourists who drive by almost mockingly to ponder your...

People often ask me, "Adam, what's the hardest part about being such a sophisticated gadabout with a head of hair that'd make a Beatle cry and the alcoholism of an Irish playwright?" A great question. The hardest part is having to put up with peop...

Not many people know this about me, because, well, I don't like to talk about it much: I used to be a Mouseketeer. But I was chewed up and spat out of the Disney machine faster than an ill-conceived Parisian theme park. I started out on Kids Incor...

Well, hello there. Nice to see you again. Man, it feels like it's been forever. Hey, how did everything work out with old what's-her-name? You know who I'm talking about — that one girl with the great rack but who could never shut up even th...

Transubstantiation was what did it for Nate Lappegaard. Raised within the strict dogma of the Catholic Church, Lappegaard was fifteen years old when he argued with a priest over whether he was really consuming the body and blood of Christ during C...

The whining starts about 5:30 a.m. — a slow, heartbreaking cry from the crate at the foot of my bed that I can usually silence by screaming "No!" as loud as I can, then collapsing back into my pillow. (The neighbors probably think that the c...