Roger Federer, staving off a surprising surge from longtime rival Rafael Nadal, won his fifth consecutive Wimbledon yesterday. (His first Wimbledon win was over that idiot on that dumb NBC reality show, by the way.) But the real winner wasn't Federer, but semifinalist Richard Gasquet, who finally batted down those pesky gay rumors.

In response to a French magazine implying Gasquet was having an affair with an older man, Gasquet popped off.

"I was absolutely not happy about that. This question has come back hundreds of times, and every time someone turns up saying, 'Oh, I have evidence.' It is just bullshit. Neither him nor me are homosexuals. It's absolutely obvious."

We are not sure that "obvious" is the word we'd use there, but we support Gasquet's campaign toward heterosexuality. We urge Gasquet to get together with Mike Piazza and Sebastien Gacond and form a coalition for the unfairly gay-maligned, in which they can share their collective stories of woe, work to help future athletes, and give each other hand jobs.