Have you ever been so afraid to make a move because you were afraid of the outcome whether bad or good? Thats me, never afraid to apply my self or to try out for something but when it is accomplished I clam up on the fear of change that I have been desperately trying to obtain for the past decade now.

Now I am one step closer to that and I am overwhelmed with so much different emotion and fear of the decision to make the next step closer, closer to a new life, new opportunities, new experiences.

A few years ago I became a single mother to a beautiful six year old daughter almost a year after starting my new job which I am still employed. For the past ten years I have been attending college on and off and each time changing majors based on advice from others, trying to gain approval from my family (parents in particular) and in the process loss sight of who I was and my goals.

I will never blame anyone for the choices I made in my life, because every choice made was good or bad was a lesson learnt, but alot of times I wondered if they would have been as supported to me as they were to my siblings if my life would of been different? (too late now) Well at least now I could feel so good to know that I achieved what I did through drive, faith, and hope. I don’t believe in luck, I believe that what ever we go through is destined to be.

This year I told my brother that this was going to be a good year for not just him or I but for everyone. You see this came after a year of being back after graduating from college. After missing his deadline to continue his studies in Med school because his college took to long to mail his degree he decided to look for work.

He was unsuccessful because the job market here is quite congested. Just when he was about to give up he got a call back from a job he had applied for last year. He starts training this year. Shortly after that I received an Email from the KCC informing me of my appointment date to the Embassy foe the Next month.

How it all came about

Four years ago I was checking my e-mail and came across a message stating that I had won a green card to live in the United States. Knowing that I never applied for anything still out of curiosity I had copy and pasted the e-mail address in the google search engine, and just what I had expected it was a scam. But at the bottom of the website they mentioned that there was actually something called the Diversity lottery and everything took off from then.

Off course I wasn’t as lucky fortunate the first or second time around. The first time I applied was in 2011 I had confused the date to apply and missed the deadline by a matter of minutes. The second time I programmed the date intoy phone, applied and wrote down the confirmation number. By the time it was to check on thr process I had misplaced the paper it was written on and had no way to access my application.

The third time I was ready, I applied early, printed out EVERY page of the application including the confirmation page with my case number. This was in 2013 applying for the 2015 DV. In 2015 I received an e-mail that I had won and to proceed to filling out my Ds-260 form. Almost a year later February 2015 I received an E-mail with my appointment date and instructions on what I needed to present to the Consular Official on that day.

After countless days of research, panic attacts, and sleepless nights I had passed my interview and was approved to get my gc for my daughter and I. Now the next steps is to activate my LPR status and decide on a day to make the big move.

This is the biggest decision I had ever have to make in my entire life. I am not going to lie I am scared out of my mind, but I know this decision is for the best for the both of us and that the best is yet to come.