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I feel most often that it's the subtle approach that works best, at least from my perspective. I take the time to get to know people and let them know me. This helps assuage their (and sometimes my) biggest enemy: fear.

Of course, every once in a while I go for shock value, especially when assumptions need to be challenged. My most recent memory of this scenario was at school with female acquaintances, some of whom knew I was homosexual. The room came to a hush as I entered - clearly they were discussing "gal only" material. I encouraged them to continue - "Don't mind me!". As the discussion slowly restarted, I found that their topic was about how badly some guys treat gals. With the discussion in full swing, one of them turned to me and asked the name of my girlfriend. When I replied "Andrew", there was a marked silence after which everyone bust into genuine laughter.

It's not always about disclosure of status for me, but little things like this seem to make my/the world a little bit smaller and more intimate.

Coen, you have to think about what you are interested in, what makes you want to do something. Talk with other people in your life, read the papers and see where there are situations or experiences in your life which are unsatisfactory to you.

You will find what turns you on and how to be most effective when you find what you feel passionately about.

I read these posts of "call to arms" but do not reply. Frankly, I am not a person that needs the "rah rah" to motivate me. What I do, I do within my community, and need no reinforcement from these forums to do so, nor is it important to me that people here know I am an advocate. Why? Because my motives are real. I am driven by the need to help people. Period. Pats on the back and the "ah that's wonderful" kudo got old long ago, and honestly, sometimes I wonder about the true motives of some people here when they call themselves "activists." In my opinion, an activist is something someone else calls you for your deeds. Not something you label yourself because you just saw Richard Gere on the 25 years of AIDS airing, or read Tim's posts.

I am a state member of the CPG (Community Prevention Group), as well as a new member to the Kansas City EMA Planning Council. I am highly regarded in my community.

I read these posts of "call to arms" but do not reply. Frankly, I am not a person that needs the "rah rah" to motivate me. What I do, I do within my community, and need no reinforcement from these forums to do so, nor is it important to me that people here know I am an advocate. Why? Because my motives are real. I am driven by the need to help people. Period. Pats on the back and the "ah that's wonderful" kudo got old long ago, and honestly, sometimes I wonder about the true motives of some people here when they call themselves "activists." In my opinion, an activist is something someone else calls you for your deeds. Not something you label yourself because you just saw Richard Gere on the 25 years of AIDS airing, or read Tim's posts.

I am a state member of the CPG (Community Prevention Group), as well as a new member to the Kansas City EMA Planning Council. I am highly regarded in my community.

where it really matters.

Gee John, how fortunate we are to have someone of your moral superiority in our midst. If only we could all adopt your high minded and moderate approach to things. Maybe then we'd all be as highly regarded as you. The good people of Kansas City must be throwing themselves at your feet with slavish adoration.

Heaven forbid that cranky trouble making activists should speak out and rally others to their silly causes. We don't want any icky ACT UP! type characters upsetting the nice middle class people now do we?

You have so much to teach us. It's an honour to be able to reply to your august comments.

Okay, my posts here were driven by my own personal issues and I apologize Coen. The response was inappropriate and I, in no way meant to hijack. I have the deepest respect for those who have lived, and fought it for so many years. I have much to learn.

But I am a bit surprised Matty, to see you of all people calling someone else out for being condescending

I live in a rural part at the bottom end of the South Island of New Zealand and one of the first things I found outwhen I moved here in 2005 was that the nearest support group was a 6 hour drive away in Christchurch..so with the help of my ID Doc I started my own(unofficial) support group, I now have 10 members..thanks to the Doc, we meet at my home once a month but I'm on call to for things like going with them on Doctors visits, getting bloods done, talking to parents, friends etc,etc.I also do talks to my ID Doctors Med Students, I have done 5 this years at the main training hospital in Dunedin, and so far I have done 3 talks at the local hospital for the Doctors, nurses and Lab staff..the talks are mainly about living with HIV, stigma and safety in the work force.On the 17th of July, again with my ID Doc and a nurse from the local STD clinic, we will have our first Parent meeting..mainly covering safe sex, how to approach and talk to their kids about sex, STD's and HIV..this believe it or not is a big problem for a lot of parents..so far we have about 50 names on the list..not many I know but it's a start.This is not something I normally write about...but you did ask.. and I'm happy doing what I do.

Thanks for the replies so far. I myself write for the dutch HIV magazine. I used to be an aids activist in 1994-1997, fighting for acces to treatment here in the Netherlands. Somehow for some years I didn't have the mental energy to go on with it. Right now I am writing to create understanding between different groups of HIV-positive people. The way we talk here on aidsmeds is special, where yound and old, gays and straights, veterans and newly infected people, women and men, from all over the world are talking, really listening to each other, giving each other real support. It is funny that in a small country like Holland things are so fractured. A woman group, a gay group that is mostly occupied by young gays who have a very different approach to things than the veterans so for them (mostly gays as well) is a new section......I think this is very dutch! So what I try is to at least make people read about what is going on in the other groups, hoping to make the mutual understanding bigger.

In the Netherlands acces for treatment is not an item anymore, we have a good health insurance system for everybody. I feel so sad when i read about those issues here because it is unthinkable that someone would not get HIV-inhibitors payed for.

Internationally there is enough to fight for. Acces to treatment in Eastern Europe, Africa, Azia. Travel Restrictions in the USA. I give money to Stop Aids now!, an organisation that sets up acces for treatment projects in Africa. My vocal ensemble gave a fund raising concert for that organisation. In the concert hall was an exhibition with pictures of the projects that are being supported. Very impressive.

As things got better in the Netherlands, activism sort of died out here. I was wondering if there are international HIV-activist groups? There used to be GNP+ but I haven't heard much from them in the last years. I think for example that not many people in Europe know about the problems with the USA insurance and the acces to treatment issues that are daily reality there. I could write about it, showing the Dutch that the problems are not only existing in second and third world countries. (Can anyone really explain me how it works? ) I think also within Europe, within the Western World, we could learn from each other. Between 1994-97 I visited the UK to get inspired by projects like Terrence Higgins Trust and London Lighthouse. Things seemed to be so well organised there by then. Also they knew so much more about problems of black women and I learned a lot from those trips, very useful for my work in those days. I really think we can learn a lot from each other.

John, I hope that people want to talk about what they do, not because of their personal pride but because maybe it inspires others to find ways to contribute. This is not about ego's, it's about inspiration.

Quote: Bobik: It is funny that in a small country like Holland things are so fractured. A woman group, a gay group that is mostly occupied by young gays who have a very different approach to things than the veterans so for them (mostly gays as well) is a new section......I think this is very dutch! ....................................................I hate to say this but I think the same thing has happened here in the USA with the "fracturing". Originally there were lots of support groups for GAY MEN . I dont think we have any here anymore ....which is one reason I come here. The organizations which were originally run by GAY men are now all run by a mixture of people from various demographics and recieve funds from various sources (like Ryan White) ( with stiff oversight)and there are no support groups for gay men anymore.

Isn't that the other way around? We seem to have 2 gay sections, one with young poz men who think it is their right to bareback with each other and one for the guys who live with HIV a longer time and call themselves veterans and these gays don;t feel comfortable with each other.......Coen

HI Bobik...... I agree that there is a HUGE difference between young gay guys and older gay guys who have lived through the epidemic ...in terms of their...... shall I say.... "Fear Factor". Young gay men have NEVER known a world without HIV, its amazing, but I think they are numbed to the fear. But as far as I can tell this barebacking thing cuts across all ages...in fact its some of the suvivors who seem to feel they can now do as they please.