Is this a last-effort head-smacking scheme to find inspiration, or simply the end of a writer's sanity? Or an evil plan to shamelessly advertise his own work? Do not attempt to read this if you do not have a sense of humor like me, lest you think I am completely nuts. Inspired by a video game website's forum threads called "The Bored." If I can't be the best writer on FW then maybe I can at least be the most random. ^_^ I apologize to everyone who takes me seriously. I can think of at least three people who won't laugh at this. But if it's funny to me there has to be someone else who thinks it is too. Right? Maybe not. JUST FOR FUN!
One peaceful day, on November 23, 2009, all was at peace. Okay, that's a lie and we all know it. The world will never be at peace until Jesus returnts. But that's how some people begin their stories so that's how I'm going to do it to. Anyways, all was fairly peaceful until...

Dr. Random: Nee hee hee hee! I've finally completed my perfect invention. The random machine!! And I have begun the story in a the usual stereotypical mad-scientist-in-a-cartoon scenario! Using the thoughts and power of Jacob Gibson's wacky brain, I will randomize the world and up to three-sevenths of the universe! All will bow before me after I turn this on! Now where is the ON button? Oh great. How did I forget where I put that? Where are the instructions for this? For the love of Bob I invented this and can't even remember how to turn it on! Horse radishes!

*bangs on it several times and machine starts up*

Dr. Random: Ah! That's right! That's how you do it! Prepare yourselves, people for the most randomness you've ever experienced. Har har har har! No wait, was it that or bleh heh heh heh bleck? I don't remember. My memory is teh awful! Oh wait... it was nee hee hee hee hee!

Three minutes Later...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!

Some guy: What was that?

Some girl: I think it was a random boom.

Some guy: Is that a bad thing?

????: Hey you. Do you suffer from the onslaught of random booms? Are they constantly attacking you when you least expect it and least desire it? Well I'm Bobby the boom exterminator and I specialize in exterminating those pesky booms. With this handy device--

*gets tackled by a professional football player before he can finish his sentence*

The actor who plays Edward in the Twilight movies: *walking down the street whisteling* Oh no. What's that sound I hear? *looks back*

*a huge mob of crazy girls chase after him screaming*

The actor who plays Edward in the Twilight movies: Ah! A huge mob of crazy girls chasing after me! *runs like a vampire to get away*

*girls put on rocket skates to catch up with him*

The actor who plays Edward in the Twilight movies: Nooooooooo!

Cosmo the fairy: I like this story. Finally something I can understand! Hee hee hee hee!

The actor who plays Edward in the Twilight movies: Cosmo! Help me! I wish I could get away from these girls!

Cosmo: Sorry, actor who plays Edward in the Twilight movies, but I only grant wishes to Timmy. And unless you grew taller, more hair, and more attractive to women, I don't think you're him. Wait. You're not, Timmy, are you? If you're Timmy you better tell me right now!!

Timmy: *rolls eyes* Uh... no he's not. Hey, if I help you do you promise to let me be in the third movie?

The actor who plays Edward in the Twilight movies: Uh, sure! No problem!

Timmy: Alright, I wish that there was something to divert the attention of these obsessive girls.

{POOF!}

The actor who plays Jacob in New Moon: Hey, how did I get here? Gah! Not again! *runs away in the opposite direction and half of the mob splits off and chases after him*

Timmy: Okay, maybe there was something better I could have done.

Wanda the fairy: *flies after Jacob* Wait for me, Jacob! You have to give me your autograph!

Cosmo: Heeeeeeeeeeey! She never asks for MY autograph! >_<

Ten minutes and thirty-two seconds later...

The president: Okay, team, this doesn't look good. This Dr. Random guy is randomizing America and it's spreading rapidly. Random lights are flickering on and off, random clowns and mimes are running through the streets on foot and unicycle, giant bowling balls are randomly rolling around, thousands of random people in animal costumes are dancing everywhere nonstop, random toilets are exploding randomly, and someone is performing "The Storyteller's Book of Randomness." Here's what we're going to do. If we spend 2 billion dollars on military, and research and development to make a strong enough weapon I know we can defeat him. Spending lots of taxpayer money is always the answer in a time of crisis.

Former president: Excuse me, sir, but I don't think you need to spend that much. 1 billion should be enough.

The president: Who let you in here? And who asked for your opinion? You're not the president any more.

The ghost of Ronald Reagen: I will haunt you all until the day you die!

????: Excuse me but I think I can help out here.

President: Who are you?

????: My name is ???? I mean Modnar. I am Dr. Random's twin brother and I have an idea to stop this random evilness. Here's what I think.

*gets tackled by professional baseball player*

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

President: The booms are getting worse! We have to hurry!

Commercial break! :)

This totally random story is brought to you by Hy-Vee food stores. A helpful smile in every aisle. (Or a jealous smirk from every clerk)

And by fruit yogurt.

And fat girls rule!! XD

President: Okay, let's hear your plan.

Modnar: It just so happens that I have built a machine almost exactly like my brother's that can access the writer's mind.

President: The who?

Modnar: The one who's writing this story.

President: Uh... yeah. Sure. o_0

Modnar: So, if I can find some people to join me and confront Dr. Random at his lair, I know that my machine can defeat him. It's not as powerful as his but twice as awesome and it's hot pink too! Yaaaaaaaay! =D

Some guy: I'll go with you!

All: Where did you come from?

Some guy: I just happened to be in the neighbourhood and couldn't help overhearing your conversation. Okay, so I just showed up randomly.

Al Gore: How convenient!

Some girl: I'll go too! Some guy and I want to help save the world so maybe the writer will give us real names!