Barack Obama: Cheap Bastard

During his first nine months in office, President Obama has quietly rewarded scores of top Democratic donors with VIP access to the White House, private briefings with administration advisers and invitations to important speeches and town-hall meetings.

Invitations to important speeches and town-hall meetings? What a piker. My president, George Walker Bush, gave big donors a more memorable experience. He put them on nuclear submarines and sent them out to sink Japanese fishing boats. By God, if you were like Helen Culver and contributed a load of money to W, you got to play Red October for a day. That's a hell of a lot better use of time than spending 45 minutes listening to Obama talk about health care or some such shit.

In the navy Yes, you can sail the seven seas In the navy Yes, you can put your mind at ease In the navy Come on now, people, make a stand In the navy, in the navy Can't you see we need a hand In the navy Come on, protect the motherland In the navy Come on and join your fellow man In the navy Come on people, and make a stand In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)