A Heroes Alliance Christmas Carol

Megamo and all his men hate Christmas, until they realise their error of ways.

Story

Narrator: "Bob Marley was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about it, or nothing more of this story I, David Attenbourgh, can tell. And Megamo's name was good upon change, for anything he chose to put his hand unto. Old Bob Marley is as dead as a door-nail."

Megamo: "Stop! Get away, you peddock!"

Boy: "No eye at all is better than an evil eye, sir!"

(As we see Megamo's Castle... We see Optimus Prime trying and failing to warm himself at the candle... Until...)

Megamo: "I do, Merry Christmas... What right and reason have you to be merry? You're poor!"

Freddy Krueger: "What right you have to be so remorse? You're rich! Merry Christmas!"

Megamo: "Humbug!"

Freddy Krueger: "Don't be angry..."

Megamo: "What else can we be..."

Megatron: "When we all live in such a world of fools as this? Merry Christmas..."

Queen Beryl: "What's Christmastime to you but a time fot paying bills without money, for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer, and for balancing your books and having every item through a round dozen of months presented dead against you?"

Hades: "If we work our will... Every single child that goes about with Merry Christmas in his lips shall be... BAKED IN HIS OR HER OWN MINCE PIES... AND BURIED WITH A STAKE OF HOLLY THROUGH HIS OR HER HEART!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND, FREDDY KRUEGER?"

Freddy Krueger: "I understand, Uncle..."

Megamo: "Nephew, keep Christmas in your own way, and let ne keep it in mine."

Freddy Kruger: "Keep it, but you can't..."

Megamo: "Let us leave it alone, then. Much good may it do you!"

Freddy Krueger: "There are many things that derived from happiness, which I have not profited, Christmas being amongst all. But I always think of Christmastime- apart from veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that- as a good time, a kind, gentle, time. The only time in the long calendar of the year. This is when women and men seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people as fellow travellers to the grave, and not some other race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, main uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good and will do me good, and I say, Satan bless it."

Optimus Prime: (clapping) "Bravo!"

Megamo: "Let me hear another sound from you, Optimus Prime, and you'll keep your Christmas by being fired! You're quite a powerful speaker, sir. I wonder... You can't... Go to the Parliament of Lord Hellspiral..."

Freddy Krueger: "Why so cross, main uncle? Dine with us the next day!"

Megatron: "We'll see you in purgatory first..."

Freddy Krueger: "Why so cold-hearted? WHY?!"

Megamo and all Villains: "Why are you married?"

Freddy Krueger: "Because I fell in love."

Megamo: "Because... You fell... In love?"

Megatron: "Good Afternoon!"

Freddy Krueger: "But you never came to see me! I want nothing from you! We're friends!"

Wicked Witch of the West: "Good Afternoon!"

Freddy Krueger: "I'm sorry with all my heart to find you so miserable. We never had any quarrel to which i have been a party. I have made the trial in homage to Christmas, and I'll keep Christmas humour to the last. So, a Merry Christmas, Uncles and Aunts!"

Megamo: "Goodbye."

Freddy Krueger: "And a Happy new Year!"

Megamo: "There's another fellow, my clerk with 15 shillings a week, and with a wife and family, talking about a Merry Christmas. We'd retire to Bedlam if I were you!"

Megatron: "Do you mean the Other Mother?"

Mon*Star: "Megamarley's I believe? May I have the pleasure of addressing Megamo, or Bob Marley?"

Megamo: "Bob Marley, wasn't he dead? He died seven before-Christmas Eves ago, this very night."

Mon*Star: "We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by his surviving partner. At this festive season it is more disirable we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute, and many are in common necessaries and comforts."

Megamo: "Are there no prisons?"

Mon*Star: "Plenty..."

Megamo: "Are there no workhouses?"

Mon*Star: "Plenty..."

Megamo: "The..."

Mon*Star: "The Treadmill and the Poor Law still in full vigor? Megamo, you must--"

Megamo: "I was afraid that something had stopped them in their usual course."

Mon*Star: "A few of us are endeavouring to raise funds to buy the poor some meat, drink, food, and warmth. What should I put you down for?"

Megamo: "None!"

Mon*Star: "You wish to remain anonymous?"

Megamo: "I wish to be left alone! That is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas. I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments you've mentioned, and the poor will go there, and many will..."

Mon*Star: "Perish?"

Megamo: "Exactly! If they rather die, they'd force themselves to do it, and decrease the surplus population! It's not my business, leave!"

(Megamo sees the men leaving, then he hears a Christmas Carol. Megamo seized the ruler with such energy of action that the singer fled in fear, leaving the keyhole to the fog, and even more frost.)

Megamo: "You want all day tomorrow, I suppose?"

Optimus Prime: "If convenient, monsieur."

Hades: "Hey, but it ain't convenient..."

Jessie and James: "It ain't fair..."

The Phantom of the Opera: "If we were to stop half-a-crown for it,, you will think yourself ill-used, eh? And yet, you don't think us ill-used, WHEN WE PAY A DAY'S WAGES FOR NO WORK?"

Optimus Prime: "Christmas comes once a year, monsieur."

Megamo: "Rare and fine excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December! You must have the whole day. Be here all the earlier the next morning."

(As Optimus Prime slides down the ice in honor of Christmas Eve with the boys... Megamo and the other Scrooges find weird things!)

Megamo: "I have but to swallow this, and be, for the rest of my days haunted and tortured by a legion of hobgoblins, all of my own creation! It's humbug, I tell you!"

Bob Marley: "YA DARE INSULT ME LIKE THAT?!"

All Villains: "Mercy!"

Grimlord: "Dreadful Apparition, why do you trouble us?"

Bob Marley: "Men and women of the worldly mind... do you believe in me or not?"

Megamo: "I do and I must!"

Pete: "Oh, why do spirits walk the earth and come to us?"

Bob Marley: "I'll tell you one story my dead parents's spirits told me in Jamaica. It is required of every man that the spirit within him or her should walk abroad amongst his or her fellow-men and travel far and wide, and if that spirit does not, it is condemned to do so after death. It is doomed to wander through the world, and witness what it cannot share what might have shared and turned to happiness... OH WOE IS ME!!!"

Megamo: "You're fettered in chains. Why?"

Bob Marley: "I wear the chain I myself forged in lifetime. I made it link by link and yard by yard. Are you familiar with its pattern or would you know the weight and length of the strong coil you bear. It is full, heavy, and long as these over seven Christmas Eves ago. You've labored on it since. Yours is a ponderous chain."

Megatron: "We see no chains!"

Bob Marley: "Mine were invisible until the day of my death, as all of yours shall be."

Megamo: "Speak comfort to us!"

Bob Marley: "I have none to give, as it comes from other resources, villains, and it is conveyed by other ministers than I. I can't rest, stay, or linger anywhere. Mark me! In my life my spirit never walked beyond our counting-house, or roved beyond the narrow limits of our money-changing hole. Weary journeys lie before me!"

Makuta Teridax: "You must be very slow about it."

Bob Marley: "Slow?!"

Megatron: "Over seven years dead, and travelling all the time?"

Bob Marley: "The entire time, there ain't rest or peace, there is torture of remorse."

Megamo: "You travel fast!"

Bob Marley: "On the wings of the wind, I do."

Yzma: "You must have got over a great quantity of ground these seven years!"

Bob Marley: "I was captive, bound and double-ironed. Misused. Yet such was I!"

All Villains: "Mind your own business! You're a good man of it!"

Bob Marley: "What sort of business? Mankind was, is it? Or the common welfare? Or charity, mercy, kindness, romance, love, forbearance and benevolence, huh? They are all my business...! ARE THE DEALINGS OF MY TRADE BUT A DROP OF WATER IN THE COMPREHENSIVE OCEAN OF MY BUSINESS?! At this time of the rolling year, I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raised them to that blessed star which led the wise men to a poor abode? Hear me, it's too late for me, not for you. You could be saved. I have sat invisible beside you many and many a day. I am here to warn you that you have yet the chance and hope of escaping my death, a chance of my procury."

Megatron: "Pray! Don't be hard upon me... Thank'ee..."

Megamo: "You were always a good friend to us, Bob."

Bob Marley: "You are going to be visited by a triplet of spirits, one each appearing each time of each night!"

Megamo: "Is that the chance and hope?"

Bob Marley: "It is..."

Megamo: "I can't."

Bob Marley: "Without their visits, you ain't gonna hope to shun the past I've tread. Expect the first tomorrow, when the bell tolls ten."

Megamo: "Couldn't we take them all at once and come at the same time? And have it over?"

Bob Marley: "Expect the second on the stroke of eleven the next night. And the third, more mercurial shall appear at midnight the next night, when the last stroke of twelve ceases to vibrate. Look to see me no more. Remember what has passed between us!!"

Megatron: "Yes. I know. Those spirits sought to interfere for good in human matters, however, they forever lost that ability... Look! The entire atmosphere's filled with these cursed phantoms all along!"