October 29, 2004

NEVERENDING STORY

A Kerry win would be fascinating, for several reasons. Imagine, for example, the reaction of anti-Bush folks internationally. These failures haven’t had anything to celebrate for years; their victory glands are shrivelled and inactive. And Kerry’s acceptance speech might run for the rest of 2004, if his campaign form is any guide:

During one speech, Mr Kerry’s script writers had crafted the concise pledge: "I will work with Republicans and Democrats on this healthcare plan, and we will pass it."

In the candidate’s hands it became: "I will work with Republicans and Democrats across the aisle, openly, not with an ideological, driven, fixed, rigid concept, but much like Franklin Roosevelt said, I don’t care whether a good idea is a Republican idea or a Democrat idea. I just care whether or not it’s gonna’ work for Americans and help make our country stronger.

"And we will pass this bill. I’ll tell you a little bit about it in a minute, and I’ll tell you why we’ll pass it, because it’s different from anything we’ve ever done before, despite what the Republicans want to try to tell you."

His scriptwriters’ snappy attack on Mr Bush’s healthcare plan - "Don’t get sick" - became: "And don’t get sick. Just pray, stand up and hope, wait - whatever. We are all left wondering and hoping. That’s it."

One year of Kerry, and people will yearn for the clarity and precision of the Bush administration.

If, as you say, these people, all of whom are our fellow citizens in this great country, are still conscious in the strictest sense and not, in fact, letting their attention wander, or even, which would be much, much worse, actually fully asleep or dozing, as some people are wont to call it.

There are multiple ways to sound stupid. The two modes of stupidity we have to choose between now are "uneducated stupid" and "educated stupid" (US vs. ES). ES is characterized by multiple unnecessary clauses and the 'use of ten cent words where a five cent word would do'. It is typically used by people who have more education than intelligence and think that verbosity is directly proportional to sagacity.

"US" style is painful to also painful to listen to, but doesn't drag on as long.

The difference between the two is that "educated stupid" can occasionally sound smart to other educated stupid people.

I'm an ES person, voting for the US candidate, wishing I could vote for Tony Blair.

Kerry's acceptance speech -- "When in the course, or sequential occurence, of human events, human described as being any subset of genus homo sapiens irrespective of geographic distribution, and events being decribed as individual occurences involving humans as described above, which by means of occurring sequentially can be described colloquially as the "course" of human events

"And we will pass this bill. I’ll tell you a little bit about it in a minute, and I’ll tell you why we’ll pass it, because it’s different from anything we’ve ever done before, despite what the Republicans want to try to tell you."

Just out of curiosity, does anybody know if Kerry actually did go on to tell "a little bit about" that bill of his? I mean, that could quite possibly qualify as the very first instance of him ever elaborating on one of his myriad plans...