True story. So thunderstorms had knocked out our power for a couple of days. After getting power back the internet was down. I knew it just needed a reset, but couldn't manage to do that myself. So I contact my provider via live chat. Chat starts with my company contact... "Hello my name is Vladimir ( Yes, I am a Vampire ) how can I help you today?" We go through the problem and solve it.
Me: Thanks for your help. Glad as a vampire you can work days.
Vladimir: Well they keep me in a cool, dark room so its not a problem.

True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder?
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

Pretty good.
Another true story.
Have a friend who used to work tech support.
Caller: The manual says press any key to continue...
Tech support: That didn't work?
Caller: I can't find the A-N-Y key...
Tech support: Oh, its a misprint in the manual, press "enter"
Caller: Are you sure?
Tech support: Yes, press enter.
Caller: Oh, that worked. Thanks.