Points of interest: What isn’t of interest? Soderling’s no. 4 ranking is on the line unless he can defend his title or Murray puts in a dismal performance, which is pretty likely given his draw: Baghdatis, Lopez or Mayer, probably Ljubicic … Just the kind of draw that a man recovering from a battering in a major final needs. Look out for first round meetings between Dimitrov-Tsonga, Gulbis-de Bakker, and Paire-Simon. Fun on the bun.

Points of interest: I thought Fernando Verdasco had a broken foot – and yet. Two men attempting to bounce back from a disappointing Australian Open – Monfils and Querrey – along with Nishikori and Ivo Karlovic on the comeback trail. Also? Delpo, Delpo and Delpo. In that order. He plays Teimuraz “Basher” Gabashvili in the first round.

Stick with me while I attempt to catch up on everything that I missed at Wimbledon while I was there. (And yes, I know I may be stretching the definition of ‘upset’ somewhat with some of these …) This is who we’ve lost so far that we wouldn’t have expected to …

Sam Stosur and Francesca Schiavone crashed out to Kaia Kanepi and Vera Dushevina respectively. That’s an entire French Open final gone right there. You’d almost think it was played on a different surface or something.

Verdasco lost to Fognini in five. And still needs a haircut.

Damn Croatians. You’re supposed to be the reliable one, Marin! Although why anyone thinks that, I don’t know. Anyway, I watched this match. It made me sad.

Oh, Boss.

Please don’t let that be your last Wimbledon, OK?

Grass is not Shahar’s best ever surface, it must be said. She lost to Angelique Kerber in three. Still, I’ve been vaguely touting Kerber as a thing-in-waiting, so there’s that.

Big win for bronzed god Daniel Brands, who took out Kolya in straights. Kolya is another one who doesn’t thrive on the grass at all, though. Plus that whole fractured wrist thing.

If a result doesn’t upset anyone, is it still an upset? I’ve decided that this qualifies on the basis that Robin Haase did the upsetting, which means he actually won a match. Shock face.

Not sure what’s the bigger not-really-a surprise, Mel losing in the second round or the fact that she made it.

Just checking out what I missed while I did things yesterday (working, drinking and buying bosom-accenting clothes for Queens, if you must know.)

David won in straight sets. However, based on the photos, his shirt did not fly up nearly enough. Must try harder, David.

Old guys winning and flashing a bit of bellyflesh. That’s the stuff.

Every so often I remember Daniela Hantuchova exists. Then I forget again.

Andy Roddick and Jarkko Nieminen went five sets before Roddick emerged victorious. Despite being on tour together since the year dot, this was their first ATP match. I hear a rumour that Nieminen beat Roddick like 60 63 or something during RG juniors, but I can’t be bothered to look it up right now. What am I, the fact girl? Leave me alone, I’ve got a headache.

Update: Please note that polls will stay open until midnight GMT tonight, in the grand electoral tradition. There’s still time to campaign …

So. It’s time to face up to the elephant in the room. Even the most optimistic estimates acknowledge that we are facing a long, barren summer/autumn/winter/future without Delpo on the tour, and whatever news we do get about him is likely to be depressing. It’s also true that, for some inexplicable reason, Delpo has become the main mascot, poster-boy and raison d’etre of New Balls, Please. He’s our tagline. He’s the majority of my posts. And while it’s safe to say that this will always be the case, now that the first shock of the news has worn off and the reality of Roland Garros, Wimbledon, Davis Cup and almost certainly the US Open without him is sinking in, the mind turns inevitably to coping strategies. Not for me personally; enough drinking will almost certainly take care of that. For this increasingly sporadic blog of mine.

Henceforth, I propose the following: the immediate adoption of an interim ultrafave as the stand-in recipient of my most obsessive blogging attention. I’ll do my best to watch his matches and rhapsodise about them or bewail them at length; I’ll keep you up-to-date on the latest news about him, no matter how trivial; and I won’t let a week go by without posting new (or old but suitably appealing) photos, no matter how specious the excuse. I’ll even change the tagline of the blog to reflect the shift in focus. And in the spirit of election day in Great Britain (I get excited about voting, OK?), I thought I would make this a democratic decision and hold a poll. Obviously whoever it is will probably get dumped like yesterday’s empties when Delpo comes back, but in the meantime … You, the reader (there may only be one of you these days), will decide.

So, without further ado, I present to you my shortlist for the stand-in mascot of New Balls, Please.

Cons: I’ve been anywhere between ambivalent and downright mean about him in the past, thus risking increasing my well-established (and deserved) reputation for fickleness; only known bromance is with Steps; frequent discussion of his sandwich-avoiding girlfriend will also probably be necessary; he may find out about me and eat my liver.

Pros: former Wimbledon boys’ champion trying to make it on the tour, offering you a unique chance to get in on the next big thing very, very early; prolific tweeter; supplies a lot of his own cute photographs; well-established bromance potential.

Cons: would force me to blog a lot about Challengers and Futures and such; potential massive loss of investment if he isn’t, after all, the next big or even a thing.

So those are the candidates – but only you can decide. Please cast your vote, and then elaborate on your choice/suggest alternative taglines/ let me know who should have been on the shortlist and why in the comments. Remember: destiny is in your hands.

Say hello to Santiago Giraldo, the reason you won’t be seeing Boss this week.

Apparently he played a really impressive match, but Boss seemed rather out of sorts. I hope he’s not injured.

Anyway, after that disappointing result, most of the rest was business as usual. Ljubicic, Isner, Kohlschreiber and Llodra all flirted with defeat before coming through in three, earning in Kohlschreiber’s case the dubious reward of a meeting with Rafa in the next round.

Enjoy.

Tomas Berdych, also in Rafa’s quarter, won in straights and Ernests Gulbis fairly demolished Marcos Baghdatis to set up a meeting with … Roger Federer. Sigh.

And the upsets continue, as the triple threat that is Albert Ramos-Vinolas upset Gonzo in three. It seems like Gonzo hasn’t really got off the mark this year, what with knees and earthquakes and swimming with dolphins and the burden that is his quixotic existence. Still, it wouldn’t be Gonzo if you could predict when he was going to turn up, would it? The rocky road to recovery continues to be rocky for Lleyton Hewitt, too, who lost in two sets to Eduardo “I was recently fined for tanking” Schwank.

Among those who notched up excellent wins, however, were Fernando Verdasco in straight sets over Richard Gasquet (I’m starting to think he might win this, you know – Verdasco, that is, not Gasquet; I’m not that delusional), Nose Job (three sets over Victor Hanescu – nice), and Ernests Gulbis, who managed to be slightly less of a loser than Jeremy Chardy. I call that impressive.

So the quarter-finals in Monte-Carlo are set after a full day’s play highlighted by Boss’ incandescent three-set victory over Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, 61 36 75. Jo’s no clay-courter but from what I saw he was playing some fantastic stuff in the third set especially and Boss had to be both gritty and inspired to beat him. Love it.

His dubious reward? A meeting with Rafa Nadal, who’s dropped just two games so far and was this close to double-bagelling Michael Berrer today.

That’s one quarterfinal to look forward to; the other comes courtesy of Novak Djokovic and David Nalbandian, who had almost identical scores in wins over Stanislas Wawrinka and Tommy Robredo respectively. Am I mad to think this one might actually be close? I’m excited.

Less compellingly, Fernando Verdasco – who did well to overturn his recent record against Tomas Berdych – will be taking on Albert Montanes, who dusted a frankly pathetic Marin Cilic; and a Ljubicic-bagelling Ferru faces off with Philipp Kohlschreiber. If you like that sort of thing.

But then, when isn’t it? All five Spaniards in action today on the clay won with only one dropping a set (Montanes, in a match against Seppi that began as a dogfight and ended with a bagel). Ferru, Robredo, Boss and Rafa all won in fairly devastating style – especially Rafa against a massively overmatched Thiemo de Bakker, 61 60:

And yes, he’s changed his shorts.

By all accounts the match of the day was Nalbandian-Youzhny, however, with Nalby prevailing 46 63 76(5) to keep the Argy flag flying in Monte-Carlo. Good man.

The tournament’s already well underway (sorry), with a full day’s play producing no real upsets but a few heart/loinwarming results, notably courtesy of Nalby, Pico and Boss who all notched up straight sets wins:

Boss! What happened to your awesome conquistador beard?!

Tomas Berdych overcame the windy conditions for a good win against Feliciano Lopez, Gasquet battled to a three-set victory over Dolgopolov Jr. (or O-Dog, as I understand he’s known), and Thomaz Bellucci sadly fell to Philipp Kohlschreiber.