There’s a new Tiger mistress.

This is Devon James, the latest mistress to come forward and say she had an affair with Tiger Woods, according to RadarOnline. But let’s not act like finding out Tiger banged another porn star even qualifies as news anymore, so let’s take a look at Devon’s website. Namely the section that lists the items she won’t do, one of which is shockingly hilarious considering the context of this story:

- Creampie
– DP
– TP
– Group
– Gangbang
– Anal- INTERRACIAL

Wow! Really? It’s a good thing Devon isn’t claiming to have sex with a black guy who’s pretty much the Shakespeare of Anal Sex. Except, oh, wait, I just completely described Tiger Woods without using the word golf. Back to the cock mine!

Fun Fact: These are apparently the only pics of Devon James online where she doesn’t have The MILF Hunter’s penis in her. Not an exaggeration.