Gross National Hobbit: Dubious Merch From Middle-Earth

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Gross National Hobbit: Dubious Merch From Middle-Earth

In today's entertainment industry, the money isn't just in the movie; it's in the franchise. A year after the release of the third movie, Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy reportedly reached more than $1.2 billion in sales of Middle-earth-related merchandise alone. With a number like that, it's not surprising that as The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey packs theaters around the world, companies are scrambling to slap the furry-footed Shire dweller on everything they sell. The dubious examples of Hobbit-related promotional wizardry assembled here show just how much magical thinking sometimes goes through marketers' heads as they try to get their pieces of merchandising gold.

Above: Hairy Hobbit Feet In-Flight Booties

Peter Jackson shot The Hobbit, as he did the LOTR movies on location in his home country of New Zealand. The gorgeous natural scenery bumped up tourism to the islands, a trend Air New Zealand is hoping to capitalize on once again with an epic investment in Hobbit branding, such as these in-flight booties designed to resemble the famously hairy feet of the title character.
Photo: Air New Zealand

Hobbit-themed Boeing 777-300

Air New Zealand's 73-meter flying billboard offers regular service between Los Angeles, London, and Auckland, New Zealand's largest city.
Photo: Air New Zealand

Shire-inspired Baggage Claim

Air New Zealand has completely redone its baggage claim to resemble hero Bilbo's hobbit hole, though conveniently ignoring the halfling's notoriously light packing habits. Bilbo would be very puffed at the notion of checking a bag.
Photo: Air New Zealand

Elvish Flight Attendant

The elves of Middle-earth are immortal. The elf-inspired look for Air New Zealand's flight attendants? Not so much.
Photo: Air New Zealand

Age of the Hobbits 'Mockbuster'

Not a merchandising tie-in per se, since this straight-to-video knockoff didn't have permission to use the "hobbit" name. A federal judge issued a temporary restraining order last week ordering Global Asylum not to release the movie, which the studio appears to have hastily renamed. Note that the disclaimer on the cover — "they're not Tolkien's hobbits ... they're real" — failed to persuade the judge.
Image: Asylum Home Entertainment/Amazon

Denny's: Radagast's Red Velvet Pancake Puppies

Radagast the Brown is a wizard mentioned once in passing in the original Hobbit novel, but makes a rather extended appearance in the movie, showing up with a flourish on a sled pulled by rabbits. At Denny's, Radagast gets his own dish, as described on the Denny's menu:

Start off your First Breakfast, or Second Breakfast — with six bite-sized round red velvet Pancake Puppies® made with white chocolate chips and sprinkled with powdered sugar. Served with a side of cream cheese icing for dipping.

New Zealand $10 Gold Coin

Apparently snatched from Smaug's hoard, New Zealand's postal service is issuing what it calls "the only official legal tender commemorative coins from Middle-earth," including the above gold coin, which sells for more than $3,100 USD.
Image: New Zealand Post

The Hobbit Meal Beef and the Hobbit Meal Chicken at Burger Kings in Malaysia

We're not sure what makes these hobbit meals, aside from the name. More importantly: Did you know Burger King delivers in Malaysia? Not, BTW, on a sled pulled by rabbits.
Image: Burger King Malaysia

The Hobbit in Latin

J.R.R. Tolkien was a lover of dead languages. Apparently he's not the only one, as evidenced by this new Latin translation of The Hobbit. Carpe lucrum.
Image: HarperCollins