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Politics in stupor, better than sober

Politics in stupor, better than sober

Ron Hart

Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine…It was probably when I was in one of my drunken stupors …” — a bold admission from Toronto’s Mayor Rob Ford, the most straightforward politician in the business of politics today. It’s too bad Chris Farley is not around to play him in the movie.

What he is saying is: “Media get it right. I am not a coke head — I am just a pass out/blackout drunk. Nothing to see here, keep moving. What happens in a drunken stupor, stays in a drunken stupor. We all know that. What part of ‘drunken stupor’ don’t you understand?”

This is such a toxic political scandal that Obama has already denied knowing anything about it.

Clearly Rob Ford, like most politicians, is a camera-craving narcissist. He is one of the few world leaders who feels our NSA does not watch him enough. But he has not harmed anyone except himself.

In fact, Mayor Ford’s actions while smoking crack have been less damaging than what Obama has done to us while stone cold sober. ObamaCare was a fraud, sold to the American people by lying. It will cost millions of families their health insurance, and others will be forced to pay more if they can get their old insurance back. Bernie Madoff did not damage as many people with his fraud as Obama has.

At least Mayor Rob Ford cut costs for taxpayers in his city, reversing years of overspending. He apparently has gotten some crack cocaine off the streets — and into his body. If Canada had an ill-conceived “war on drugs,” as we do in the U.S., he’d probably fight for Colombia.

Ford has issues. But to be fair, after a long day, stuffed into his suit, apologizing, ribbon cutting and presenting visiting movie stars with the Kilo to the City, who wouldn’t like to unwind with some crack cocaine while in a drunken stupor?

The mayor admits that his behavior is embarrassing, but no one goes to prison for being an embarrassment. Otherwise, Joe Biden would currently be serving three to five years in jail.

Hollywood and the New York media elite do not view cocaine use as much of a problem; rather, it’s more of a networking opportunity. They downplayed allegations that Obama sold cocaine in college. I viewed it as a positive; at least it means he had some business experience. If Obama sold drugs, it’s safe to say it was not via a website he designed.

Obama has correctly asked his Department of Justice to reduce jail time for crack convictions. Federal prisons are filled with minor drug offenders, and Illinois jails are filled with ex-governors.

The biggest threat to Mayor Ford’s health is that he overeats. After a long day of apologizing, he devoured 4,000 calories of food in one meal at a local eatery. Even more troubling, the bus boy is missing.

Doesn’t crack cocaine make one thinner? He must cut his cocaine with Canadian bacon.

By all accounts, the rotund Rob Ford is a good man to have on your side politically (but not in a small canoe). On Monday, the Toronto City Council stripped Ford of most of his powers. Those are two visually troubling words you don’t like to hear together: Ford and stripped.

If you can be accused of crude language, sexual innuendo, pill-popping, drinking at work, and bringing a hooker to an office St. Patrick’s Day party and still cut taxes and fees, then kudos to you. I’d vote for Charlie Sheen if he would balance the budget and reduce the role of government in our lives.

Ford’s popularity increased during these scandals. People seem to like candor, lower taxes and fewer regulations. Rob Ford has done a good fiscal job of making government less costly. People will look beyond some boorish personal behavior; in some small way, this explains why Chris Christie is popular.

He has already sealed Ford’s fate by telling the people of Toronto, “If you like your mayor, you can keep your mayor — period.” So it’s just a matter of weeks until Ford is replaced with a more expensive mayor of Obama’s choosing that no one likes or wants.

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