Christopher Nolan Can Suck My Bat Dick

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Well I caught the Premier of The Dark Night Raisesif youâre a regular movie buff you would enjoy
the movie as it stands if youâre a bat-fanatic it will drive you batty!!

1.The new vehicle

The batwing was
always a awesome toy it was sleek, fast, aerodynamic more jetfighter like style
and had awesome features I remember playing with different versions of the
batwing when I was younger, but leave it to Christopher Nolan to fuck up not
only the Batmobile but the Batwing as well, the New Batwing resembles a Potato
bug the little rollie-pollies you see on the ground if you gave them helicopter
propellers you would get this piece of crap

2.Clash in story lines

Bane- He was born
in the fictional Caribbean Republic of Santa Prisca, in a prison called Pena
Dura. His father Edmund Dorrance evaded the Santa Prisca court system, and the
corrupt government declared his young son would serve out his fathers life
sentence, and thus Bane's childhood and early adult life were spent in the
amoral penitentiary environment.Because
of the cultural and supposed geographical location of Santa Prisca, Bane knew
how to speak English, Spanish, Portuguese and Latin, not that Scottish Sean Connery
accent in the film. Thou I hear a lot of people loved the deep darken accent it
gave bane more of menacing pariah effect.

The Mask- the
mask worn by bane in the movie injected him with small amounts of morphine to suppress
the pain he received as a result of helping Talia Al Ghul out of Pena Dura
which is completely wrong. Bane was part of The Pena Dura prison Venom experiment(Titan
as its more commonly known today)it nearly killed Bane at first, but he
survived and found that the drug vastly increases his physical strength,
although he needs to take it every 12 hours (via a system of tubes pumped
directly into his brain) or he will suffer debilitating side-effects.

The man who broke
batman-The fight scene in which Batman gets his back broken was great in
the film but the after effect of his broken back were completely wrong again
they played it out as Bruce Wayne was left with a protruding disk and recovered
from it in less than 23 days. I understand they had to do this cause they couldn't
fit the entire 6 months of awesome Azrael batman and the epic fight for the cowl
between Dick Grayson and Tim Drake, but come on recovering from a broken back
in under 23 days fuck you Christopher Nolan !!

Robin - John Blake was adopted and his name was changed. I don't think
it made much sense Christopher Nolan renamed John Blake better known as Richard
John Grayson to Robin Blake as they seem to screw it up at the end of the film.
In the comics, I know there was a old comic from 1942 that featured a sidekick
named Johnny Blake Maybe that's where it could be from, but regardless Dick
Grayson was never a police officer of the GCPD , he was part of the Flying
Grayson Circus thanks for fucking that up as well.

3.Easter Eggs

I noticed 2 huge Easter
eggs that only a Bat-fanatic would catch.

Jason
Todd The Red Hood Helmet- Jason Todd was a Robin persona this Robin
sidekick was more rebellious, he loved riding around town in a motorcycle and always
wore a Red Helmet, during the scene where bane retrieves Bruce Wayne's finger
prints the camera zooms into a red helmet and Bane jumps on a motorcycle resembling
that of Jason Todd.

Damian
Wayne- There is a short scene in the movie that depicts Miranda Tate (Talia
Al Ghul) seducing Bruce Wayne. This was the night Bruce lost most of his money
in bad investments and Miranda comes to comfort him, this is also the night
Bruce forgot to jimmy up and gets Miranda Tate(Talia Al Ghul) Pregnant. Talia
has the kid 9 months down the road and he is born into the league of Shadows
and is fathered by Bruce Waynes incredible genes. What more can a kid want
father is Batman, mother was a Assassin, Granddad is the immortal Rah Al Ghul.

Over all, the entire Movie was great if
you know nothing about the deep history of the Bat without biases I would give
this movie a 9.5 out of 10

But knowing what I do know the movie
made me angry like Kathy Bates in Misery so on the Bat scale it gets a 5.5 out
of 10