Dec 2016 IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Answer

Below is a sample answer for December 2016 writing task 1. The task consists of one vertical bar chart and two pie charts. The sample answer is estimated at about band score 8. The sample answer contains some grammar errors – can you find them? Answers below.

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December 2016, IELTS Writing Task 1

December 2016, Sample Answer

Estimated at band score 8

The bar chart and pie charts illustrate the percentage of people in Glasgow having three levels of education (university, school and those with no qualifications) in 2010. Information is divided into five age groups in the bar chart and by gender in the pie charts.

Overall, the majority of people with university education were in younger age groups, while in the oldest age group most people did not have any qualifications. The proportions of men and women were similar and showed little different between the levels of education.

The percentage of people with university education was up to 76% in the younger three age groups compared to only 50% in those ages 50 to 75 and just 25% in those over 75. This trend was reversed in those with no qualifications (9% in younger people rising to 72% in the oldest age group). The figure for those with school education was relatively constant at around 20% but was as low as 3% in the over 75’s.

The proportion of men and women in each level of education was around one third with only a slightly difference of 3% in university graduates as well as those who didn’t have educational qualifications.

Words = 198

There are a few grammar mistakes in this writing. Can you find them? Answers provided below

Comments

The bar graph and pie chart illustrates the degree of educational attainment by gender in Glasgow, Scotland in 2019.

In general, it is evident that people without qualifications was inversely proportional to those that have earned a degree in college and school certificates. In addition to that, apparently males have a higher percentage of earning their university degrees as compared to women.

The bargraph displays that a majority of people have earned their university degrees in glasgow apart from those aged 75 and above, the level started from 71, had a slight increase to 76 before it constantly declined and ultimately ended up with only 25. People with school certificates began with 20, fell by 5, and remained constant from ages 35 to 75 then plummeted with only 3. People without qualifications seem to increase with age from a constant 9 to a peak of 72 in ages 75 and above.

Moreover, the piechart shows that men have a Higher percentage of gaining university degrees than women with 32% and 29% respectively. A big chunk of both genders earned their school certificates with 33%. Women in all ages is seen to have a higher percentage of those without qualifications than men with 38% and 35% respectively. (207)

Hi madam,
I wrote the report as it is required, How much band score it is deserved for?

This bar charts and pie charts illustrates percentage of people in Glagow who have tree different type of education qualification (University degree, School certificate and No qualification) according to the age and gender respectively.

Overall, the youngest age group( age of 16- 24 and 24-35) have higher percentage of University degree, while oldest people who are in majority of no qualification, and men and women showed analogous proportion in all format of qualification,but there is a little different in percentage.

Further, more than 70% of people in the age group of 16- 24, 24- 35 and 35- 50 are having University degree, in the mean while 50% is indicated by the age group of 50-75 .However people who are aged more than 75 years old showed 25% University degree.Then this trend is reversed for no qualification in which 9% and 72% for age group of 16-24 and more 75 respectively.School certificate remains pretty much constant as 20% except older people who has 3% .
Moreover, men and women imply relatively same proportion in every in every qualification but there was 3% different in University degree and no qualification between men and women while school was stable in both.

Hi Liz,
Thanks for the wonderful tips,
just a quick question, I am a little bit confused here! In the above sample the writer has given an overall view in paragraph 2 and then the details in following paragraphs. is this a correct practice? I thought we put the summary in the last paragraph. I would appreciate if you clarify that.
Best

Hello Liz,
Thanks for such a wonderful and helpful website. I want to know that is this necessary that we have to include all the percentages or numbers mentioned in the graph for a various property during our writing. like do we have to provide numbers/percentages of all the properties mention in the graph. or just we have to mention the percentages/number of the extreme values.

You can’t ignore a category. But whether you will present all data relating to that category is something you decide when you look at the chart or table. You must decide if you will present it all or if you will group information together.

For eg if 2 different graphs are given with one pie chart describing the trends in 2000 and another table describing trends in 2005 then can we compare this pie chart and table and write a body paragraph???

Hello liz,
I think that in first line itself there is a mistake, it should have been ‘illustrates’ instead of ‘illustrate’, right?
And one more thing, while writing in paragraphs, each para should start on next line with some space left blank at starting of the the para right?

The examiner is looking for an overview in task 1 and a conclusion in task 2. This is clearly defined in the band score descriptors published by IELTS which is the same for every country and has never changed.

Hi Liz,
I have been told by my tutor that the overall is written at the end, as the last paragraph, but i see here that you always write it after the introduction.
Could you tell me which way is right?

In IELTS, you are marked on a logical order of information. In writing task 1, you can present your key features after the introduction or at the end of the report. It is more logical to present key features before smaller details. However, both locations are accepted by IELTS.

Hello Liz. Firstly, thank you so much for all the content that you share. It is all so useful.
Secondly :-), I would like to know if I can write first the writing task 2 and second the writing task 1. Thank you so much.

You can use the one hour as you wish. It is your time to manage. If you want to do task 2 first, you can. I personally don’t recommend it because students tend to use too much time on task 2 and then don’t have enough time on task 1. But this is your test and you decide what works for you 🙂

Hi, Liz 🙂 I think there is a mistake in the 2nd paragraph “the majority of people with university education were”. I suggest it is “was” because the subject is just a proportion or percentage “majority”, Right?

Dear Liz,
Many thanks for your informative and inspirational insights into the IELTS. While going through your comments on the grammatical error on a paragraph; I realized that we’ve been using short forms of negation since ages. Such as didn’t instead of did not, shouldn’t instead of should not etc etc. So, will it lead to marks deduction in IELTS? Thank you for your answer so that I may not do this mistake.
Regards

I think you are referring to using contractions, for example it is = it’s. You can use contractions in speaking – it’s a good idea because they are a pronunciation features and will help your score. However, you should NOT use them in IELTS writing.

Thank you so much. I did not know that. From your classes on speaking session i gained a knowledge regarding use of didn’t isn’t i’d to improve the band score…. But here its other way round. Thanku so much liz

Me, too! I only know it recently and had used contractions in my writing for many years when none of my teachers at school mentioned this kind of mistakes. They are even in model answers on our high school papers. OMG…

Thank you so much, Liz, you are indeed a great help to all of us trying to pass the IELTS. I am very much convinced that with a lot of practice, getting techniques from the experts like you and with God’s favor, according to His will, we will pass. We may not pay you dear, but the Lord who sees your kindness will reward you thousand folds.

Dear Liz,
I would give some feedback on my answer version that I know what it is because of a wish a good score.

The two graphs tell us about education levels by varieties of age and gender in Glasgow, in Scotland, in 2010. The pie chart shows the separation of the gender. The list of figures presents the age difference. We can see that the range of gender is very balanced though the figures of age is contrary to.

About one third of people finished University and belongs to the ca. 73% of working-aged part and to the half of the 50 to 75 years old ones, do not speak of the one fourth of the group of more than 75. The second third of the people has got scholar certificate and they belong to the 20% of all ages, except the 3% of the more than 75. The third 30% has no qualification and is 16 to 75 years old.

We can say that the younger people recognise the importance of the learning and the woman can be able to keep pace with the men in the world of education.

Thank you, Liz for your sent feedback. I shall use ‘I should say that the younger…’ instead of we, and at the begining the ‘overall’ to help the examiner put my survey statement and won’t write ‘tell’ rather illustrate or show. Thank you again.

Could you say circa how many scores I should receive for my original answer and the corrected one?

The charts illustrate the proportion of people in Glasgow with different levels of education. This proportion is divided on the basis of age and gender.

The percentage of people with university degree was up to 73% among the younger age group. This was 50% with 50-75 age group and 25% with people above the age of 75. The percentage of school education was between 15-20 with the youngest age group and those ages 50-75. This figure was as low as 3% with those ages above 75. In the category of people with no qualifications, this trend was reversed, in which younger age groups recorded 9%, those with 50-75 had 30% and 72% for the oldest.

The proportion of education levels of men and women in all the three categories was more or less similar. The rate of school education was 33% among both the genders. 32% of men and 29% women were graduates with a university degree. As far as the unqualified are concerned, women outnumbered men with 38 – 35%.

Overall, people with a university degree were the highest among youngsters, while majority of the elderly were unqualified. When it comes to gender,both the group had almost more or less equal level of education.

Hi Liz,
There are teachers giving various advices on writing tasks, some tells we need to write a summery after task one, some tells “No i am updated…, dont write a summery, what should i do? As IELTS check english , will it change the band score weather i write the summery or not?

Thanks for your guide and information. It helped me a lot on my IELTS exam however I didn’t do well on reading. Can I still take another exam? And how will my 1st take affect my 2nd take where I only need to pass is the Reading.

When you take the test again, you will get all new results. This means that you might get lower or higher in any part of the test. Some students get 6.5 in writing in one test but only 6 in the second test. After the second test, you will have two test results. You can chose which set of results to use for your future.

Hi madam, I started watching your video lesson and trying to reduce of making mistakes. Those videos are really helpful. Am very thankful for your tips and advises… I have a question im my mind i.e about general test writing task 1 question types. can u give details please.

Is there any one willing(for free) to evaluate my essay ? I am not confident on my writing skill, and i have only 1 month for the preparation of my ielts exam. I must have an ielts score of 6.5+ to be admitted in the university which i plan to apply. any suggestion and tips ? thanks

Use the Grammarly app…I suggest availing the premium account. It helps a lot to check grammatical errors and other advanced issues. Visit http://www.grammarly.com….I‘m also IELTS taker, I do self-study at home only.

As an ielts learner I have choosen you.Happy now for not wasting my time.How nice to see new writing tasks and the mistakes in order to practise visually…Thanks Liz.You are really one of the best teachers I have ever seen…

Thank you Liz and many thanks for your big job which you do! All available materials which I read on this website are really helpful. Moreover, I think that you use a unique method which inspires and motivates many people)

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Hi, my name is Elizabeth (Liz). I am your IELTS teacher and the author of this website. My aim is to help you understand IELTS and achieve a high score. I am an experienced teacher and completed my IELTS examiner training in 2008.