Sunday, September 23, 2007

"Ye din aaye.. lage phool hasne,Dekho basanthi basanthi hone lage mere sapne,...sone jasii ho rahi hain har subah meri,lage har saanj gulaal se bharii..." the one song which reminds me the beauty of the lyrics and the composition,and Mukesh's voice has a resounding effect on on the senses,"choti si baat" is one of my favorite films,but so is the music,i always mention the evergreen "na jaane kyon.." but the one sung by Mukesh is very close to my heart,it always would be for those who love music in its true sense.

One sentence used by most of my friends which always amuses me is "why do you hear music which makes you cry," Music will always make one emotional,it need not be painful situation but a song which is rendered beautifully,which has amazing lyrics makes me emotional.

For me the movie is about memories,the movie is a painting which i wouldn want to remove my eyes from,a silence which i wouldn want to break away from...ever,The performances,the music and dialogues and lyrics,One line which always brings tears to my eyes "ek ijaazat de do bas, jab isko dafnaauungi,main bhi vahii so jauungi .. main bhii vahii so jauungii.."Hmmm,and how foolish was i? trying to wade through a tide of memories,hoping that one day i will cross it over and then all will be fine,The line reminds me that they would end,but with Death,accept them,walk along with them,People are left behind but it is the memories which live till i am alive.....

I heard this song first time when i was in my graduation i guess,and i noted down the lyrics in a small notebook where i used to note down my favorite songs,and i used to tell everyone "One day i will have a collection of all these songs,at that time i just had dreams,we never had a cable connection or internet or CD's for that matter,an old taperecorder and it was a big thing to buy a cassette spending 60rs as a student,the black diary helped me to pack my dreams and fondly reminds me about a past which was so simple yet so beautiful,so tough yet so easy and so painful yet the smiles dominated....Masoom..The only movie which i always had a special place for,and the music which i need not even talk about but one song which i remember for the voice quality and for the lyrics..."Do naina,ek kahaani,thoda sa badal,thoda sa pani,auuur ek kahaani...choti si do jeelo mein woh behathi rehthi hain...Koi sune,ya na sune,kehthi rehthi hain..kuch likhke,kuch jubaan se....thoda sa baadal..

"Kitne saahil dhoonde, koi na saamne aaya ,Jab majdhaar mein doobe, saahil thaamne aaya,Tumne saahil, oh, pehle bichhaaya hota,Khaamosh sa afsaana paani se likha hota,Na tumne kaha hota, na humne suna hota..." For a long time i dint know about the movie the song is from and to know that this movie was banned by censor board made me thank god that they dint ban the music atleast.

I tried my best to keep away from this song,i already mentioned this song in so many posts but still,i cannot complete this post without the song...After RD's demise HMV came up with a tribute for him with Gulzar rendering his voice talking about the moments and memories and the lines which i remember when it rains are..."Yaad hai baarishoN ke din thay woh, Pancham! Aur pahadee ke neeche waadi mein dhuNdh se jhaaNk kar nikalthi hue rail ke patariyaan gujarthi thi. Aur dhuNdh meiN aise lag rahe thay hum, jaise do paudhe paas baithe ho.n.....

Tumne to aakash bichhaya,mere nange pairo main zameen hai,dekhe to tumhaari aarzoo hai,shayad aisi zindagi haseen hai,aarzoo main behne do,pyaasi hoon main pyasi rahne do,katra katra milti hai,katra katra jeenedo,zindagi hai, bahne do...again from the movie "Ijaazat" I remember the train passing through the greenery,through the hills,the dew giving way to it and then the ever beautiful Asha bhosle's voice.....

Closing the books,switching off the music i invited the pitch darkness and the silence to be a partner through the remaining night,as i went to close the window i could hear from the flat next,I wish i could see the person,But maybe not,i am happy with the choice of the music,i dont want to close the windows,let the breeze float in the musical notes of..." Aanewaala pal jaanewala hain,hosake tho isme,zindagi bithado,pal jo ye jaanewala hain...."

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Certain feelings,some days,a few moments can never be portrayed in words,I wish i can capture the fragrance which is still lingering around the house and keep it with me forever,the smell of chandan,flowers,fresh fruits,sweets,coconuts,mango leaves,haldi,kumkum and the lamps glowing forcing the darkness to give way to the light in the heart,forcing away all fears and being a part of the moment,praying silently knowing that i am not alone who is feeling it all,knowing that you are with me makes it all so fulfilling.Thank you god,for everything i got in life and thank you for something which i lost,i am a better person today.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Birthday came and went,Old by another one Year which is just fine:) A few remembered,Called up, wished and lot many forgot,the people whom i worked with for 8years forgot and the people whom i called friends and gave space in my life and in this blog too forgot and a few whom i thought will sure forget remembered:) and they surprised,with wishes and calls and i ended up with smiles,.New city and nil friends,new work place and the thought that first time mom won't be there to wish me first in the morning {yeah,we are not so big about 12am wishes}..coupled with severe cold and too much of work i wasn't keen about birthday:) Went to work as usual and had a good time,Not bad to celebrate birthday with new colleagues,they were sweet enough to indulge me with lot of words and wishes:)Reached home,still something missing, knocked the door and when someone opened it i was screaming at top of my lungs and sure someone with a faint heart would have lost it.I still have no idea if i was laughing or crying but hubby says i did both.Yes,My mom was here,it was supposed to be a surprise,husband and brother and planned it.,I would never again say i hate surprises.Just her presence made so much difference and i am not angry with people who forgot,the people who just left it behind,or maybe nothing to do with her presence,Its time i realized too that priorities change,people change and so did I and we all moved on with our life's and all are happy in their own way,

changing some things, moving ahead of some friendships and leaving behind a unwanted relationship did good to me,and i just thank god for what has been given and no regrets for what i have lost,it was meant to be and i accept it:) I am happy in my small world with a few complaints and tears but it all vanishes with the love and the smiles and joy which spreads along.

It was truly a Happy Birthday and if i missed the rush,fun,hoards of friends,100's of sms and calls and loads of gifts and how 24hrs were never enough to meet them all I was also happy being content and calm,spending leisurely time with the two people whom i love and need the most, When i remembered that more or less past 15yrs she just waited for me to reach home,from friends,parties,college,she was the first person and last one too to wish me on this day,but rest i never spent time with her,i was busy and this time i made no mistakes, letting her oil my hair,talking about my wedding last year,gossiping about the relatives and yes,after one year of the wedding we both finally found time to talk about the food served and the silk sarees and gold worn by many and about the new designs and what not. First time again had home cooked food on my birthday,so long its been since i did that,everything was different but every moment was precious,Every moment was filled with content,smiles and the feel that a new beginning has been made,I now know that the pace has slowed down but the moment has been just right and i am Happy,That matters,Isn't it?

Sunday, September 02, 2007

I was trying to recollect what all i have done past one month,Yeah,just last thirty days and i realized that i did too many things,and all made me smile,most of them,I have been busy,stocking away memories:)

When they announced the flight was going to land in Hyderabad in 10 min i knew i was almost screaming with delight,It dint occur to me that it might be silly,For me it was a big deal to be away from my family for three months and even though i talk to them daily i missed every bit of my life which l left behind,so two days i had and i have to head back to my world,I made the most of it, In a matter of two days i met with an accident,almost broke my leg,got an X ray,stuck in traffic in both the cities for more than 2 hours,screamed in a hiiiiii at 12 in the night when i reached home and the neighbors came out thinking there was some problem,hugged both my dogs and touched each flower and leaf in the house,Went to the place i worked,strange it felt,the warmth was there but i am now an outsider and it felt sad that way:)had such variety of food and i had 14 luggage packs to bring back to Bangalore and missed being a part of the blasts by about two hours,Yes,i was right there at the Chat bhandar which is just opposite to the place i worked and i was there having chat and after two hours i came to know that there were blasts,I am alive and the feeling is great,and thanku so much all you people out there who enquired.

Three weeks before when i stepped out of chennai airport all i could think was to ask myself if i would survive the heat and the tension that i was going to SIL's place for the first time after marriage,it was fun,And i built a house,using the play blocks and i did it first time in my life:) and all the people living in chennai, hatsoff to you,humidity has a new meaning in that city:(

So now you know the word busy when i say Busy,isn't it;p From building blocks to recollecting songs while invigilation duty to traveling to two cities and from an accident to a near death exp i had it all in the month of August:)

Now i know what that Monthly fortune given in that magazine means "Adventure and uncertainty rock your world" Yeah right!!!!

Shravana Masam,Friday,Vara lakshmi vratham,t went on so well,Husband sat down for one hour in the puja and most of the time he was looking at the Pulihara,payasam,gaarelu,He was more interested in completing the puja so that he can EAT!!!!!

They asked me to invigilate,i did but i also wrote a test while doing so,30min and i wanted to see how many songs i might recollect,did very well i must say,32 songs in 30min,not bad huh!! and no,none of the students were copying while i was busy doing my test,Thankyou for asking;p

I never played with them as a child,but never too late:)Me and my SIL's 5yr old twins got busy and i ended up with the house,one day i will own a house of my own,a Real one:)

I let mom have her say and said Yes to the Mehandi and while it pourd heavily outside and i was busy taking pictures with one hand:)

I counted,there are eight diffrent varities of plants,creepers and trees entangled here in the front yard,There is a coconut branch, malathi,Parijaatham,two creepers which bear orange and blue flowers, two huge crotons, white hibiscus,Mom says there are a few more ,oh yeah,i remember there is a Paper Rose also somewhere there:)

It rains,It always does and it makes me wonder if i will ever get over the awe for those tiny little droplets falling over me, I know i wont,certain feelings remain forever, I have mine with me:)

And then i am back to my world,to the silence of my home,To my work and to my life.

Whenever i feel sad that all the fun and happiness of being where i want to be is not permanent i remind myself,Thats why it is more precious,to go there,to be with them,to have fun,i relive the moments in my mind whenever i want to,and then i have a smile,There is always a tomorrow which will bring many more such moments of joy,happiness and For that Another New Day I Wait.