Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Now, don't let the title fool you. Biting is not my thing. However, the title will make sense later on in the story.

About 3 weeks ago, I went bar-hopping between 2 bars, The Cock which was having the new party called "Dry Hump" and The Urge which was having their weekly contest that I have mentioned winning before, "Ass Wednesday".

I went to The Urge and was asked to be in the contest. No, I did not win, so this tale did not have that as even a part of a happy ending, especially considering why that was the case.

I told you before that New York has been migrated with a bunch of midwesterners who are bringing the racism of the in-bred Midwestern mentality with them. I say this because me and another black guy entered the contest. Let's forget about my ass and the praise it gets, let's talk about the other black guy's ass. An ass that I must say was pretty hot. While his ass was nice and round with a good bump, the applause was lackluster. The crowd made their racist feelings clear that as long as the ass was light it was alright, but if it had a deep tan, then it should be panned, because some of those light asses were flat or fat(and not in a cute way), but they got a bigger round of applause that the other black contestant.

It was because of this that I entered the contest. I was experimenting to see for myself if this is really what I was seeing, and it was true. The crowd at The Urge that night was full of a bunch of racist hicks. There was one guy who wasn't such a douchebag though. He must have made the gesture from his seat of wanting to bite my ass. The drag queen who was hosting asked him if he wanted to bite it. I turned around to see who wanted a piece of me. It turned out being the guy who I was sitting next to when I decided to enter the contest who was friends with the other black contestant. And I did think he was incredibily HOT, so I poked my ass out for him, and to my surprise ---- he actually came up and bit it. HE BIT MY ASS!

If it was that kind of show, in that instance, he could have done quite a bit more.

Anyway, after I sat back done, I wasn't sure if this guy was with the other black contestant as a boyfriend or friend. As he was heckling one of the other contestants, I found out that he was just a friend. We were sitting so close that an "accidental" grazing of each other could easily happen, so we let it. Then that led to us rubbing each other's hands, and legs, as we watched the rest of the contest. And eventually, we kissed. I got his name, and I gave him my card which has my email address on it. I told him to email me, so we could get together sometime. I have yet to hear from him, but if I did, I know it would be a hot time.

At one point I asked him his Zodiac sign which turned out being a Leo. So my knowing I would be in for a hot time would be because of that chemistry, PLUS Aries and Leo both being fire signs. Now when 2 fire signs fuck ---- it's Passion City.

When we were touching each other, maybe his motivation was just to touch. My motivation was to touch, as well as feel the musculature of his tall slim frame. Like how muscular are the thighs and calves that would help him to thrust into me. I'm also a leg-man. Also, by feeling them, I could imagine what they look like without the pants, with the only untold part being if he has any scars or how hairy his legs might be. Whether his legs are as smooth as a baby's bottom, or hairy as a chimpanze, I want to find out. And being the lust-bucket I am, I'll be pleased either way.

So what would my fantasy about this guy be?

To pick up from where we left off on that stage. For starters, as a way of saying THANKS for taking me up on my offer to let him ravish me, I'd suck his cock till it was throbbing with anticipation of entering me. But he'd know for his own satisfaction, that before he could enter me, he would have to explore my ass more. So he would throw me down on the bed onto my stomach, and run the edge of his teeth against my ass cheeks, tickling all the nerve ending in my ass. From there he would proceed to eat me out. Slobbering my hole to prepare it for his entry. As my twitches and grinds intensifies from the sensation of his wet tongue on my hole, I start tooting my ass up more as a way to beg for him to finally put his cock inside me. He obliges, and it turns out being a with the case of most tall, slim guys, he probably has a thick dick that I'll have to brace for the impact of. He'll then proceed to fuck me in just about every position in the gay Kama Sutra with hard and fast thrusts, making the only time his thrust would be anywhere near slow is while spooning and/or in missionary. This would give me a moment to savor his cock throbbing inside me, and massage his ass muscles as they flex from his glides to go deeper inside me. He would then return to his hard and fast thrusts with the each impact into my ass causing a loud slap, showing the high degree of passion he has in his desire to lay his pipe inside my hole. And while I wouldn't be helpless, for the most part I would lay there as if I was. After all, Leos do like to be in charge, and as bad as I wanted his cock, if this fantasy could become reality, why would I dare argue?

As in all fantasies, my question of how to end it is always do I let the guy come with his cock inside me, or let him pull it out and spray his man-milk all over me, then I fall asleep with it drying all over me. I think it best to decide depending on the individual, and when he has his biggest cum-load. Which ever one has the biggest cum-load is the one that I get sprayed with. The other cumming's purpose is to experience his cock throbbing when he releases all that pent up sexual tension into my hole.

And YES, that means we would fuck TWICE. That's the one thing that fantasizing about isn't much of a stretch from reality. Most of my encounters, especially most that have been at my place have led to 2 fucks before we say our goodbyes. And if I want to talk about stretching, imagine how much stretching happened with 2 fucks from the Frenchman, and the 2 Swedes. Now, do you see why I do Kegels?

Well, that ass-biting hottie from The Urge does have my card. So his chance at a double-dip still awaits. Question is, if this happens, will I tell you, or keep it as one of my sexy dirty secrets that I'll never tell? Because believe it or not, I do have a few. Maybe this will be added to that list should it happen....or not. Only time will tell.

Monday, December 28, 2009

The Marvel Comics character, The Incredible Hulk, is so immensely popular for one very simple reason. It's because that creature is in every single one of us. No matter what gender, color, nationality, ethnicity, or even religion, there lies within you that part of you that if pushed, you can lose control, and do things, unseemly of your normal character.

What triggers going to that extreme is different for every person, but it is there nonetheless. It could be a romantic relationship ending after all you've done right, hence how crimes of passion come to be. It could also be having enough of tolerating a verbally abusive boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, peers, colleagues, or superiority figure(s) at your job. Whatever the case may be, it is a part of us that many of us don't want to admit to having. That's why when you hear news stories of people who have gone off the deep end by going on a killing spree, so many people brush them off as being unstable. They're using that other person's loss of control as a way to hide the fact that they have the potential to lose it as well.

The feeling of having enough by no means excuses heinous actions, I just have a brand of a human understanding as to how it gets there for some, and mature enough to acknowledge that I have a breaking point as well. For we are human, so we all have a breaking point whether we want to admit to it, or not.

I have already showed signs of my breaking point if you recall, in "Sex, Then Violence Resurrection, Part 1", and realized what brought me to that point in Part 2. I remember deliberating with myself on how to attack him - with a slap, or a punch for calling me a "ghetto nigger". I went with the slap because to punch him would have ignited such a massive release of over 2 decades of surpressed anger, and that scared me about myself, for that means had I punched him----

---- I would not have stopped until there was nothing left to beat.

The bottom line of this post is to say that while an Incredible Hulk is within us all, we must find a way to keep that nasty inner-creature from surfacing in a physically violent fashion unless absolutely necessary, such as a time when you and/or your loved ones are in immediate danger. I, like many artists, use my creativity to keep it underwraps by venting those dark emotions through various art forms. That's why I wrote "Sex, Then Violence Resurrection". It was a mental note to myself to keep that ugly monster under control, and let no one's verbal ignorance be so great that it makes that monster surface beyond that point ever again. I feel that if more people used some kind of outlet, we wouldn't be hearing many of the horrid news sotries of people losing control that we've been hearing as of late. We need to stop teaching ourselves and our children repression of emotions, and start telling ourselves and our children to express them instead. And tell them that if public displays have too much at stake, then express it privately with dignity and sanity. Either way, it must be released, for bottling it up eats at the soul. Which may very well explain the extreme aging Americans are known for.

Do you have a way to keep your Hulk within under control? I pray that you do. And if you don't, even though a new year is coming upon us, don't wait until that new year to make a resoultion - FIND A WAY TODAY.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Well, I'll be spending it at the Baña Pool Party, where the sight of all those HOT guys in swim trunnks, speedos, bikinis, and thongs - all nice and wet will satisfy my kink for hot guys with wet bodies, as explained in "Getting Out The Kinks: Step To Me - WET!", one of my past blog post for Pitbull Productions' ThugPornBlog a couple of years ago, .

And the theme for the party is "Fire & Ice". I'm not sure if I'll have a costume yet, but you can be certain that I will at least have a sexy swimsuit to display.

So if you're going to be in NYC on New Year's Eve, spend it poolside like me, lusting the wet boys of Baña. Whether the boys get wet from the swimming pool, the sweat of the steamroom or sauna, or the combo of water and sweat by hanging in the jacuzzi, I'm looking forward to my eyes getting plenty of subjects to tickle my fancy. Add to that live entertainment, games, and an all-night open vodka and beer bar (for some that's a great supply of "liquid courage" no doubt) they will be no reason for you to not be a social butterfly.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I have said before that I've never dated anyone beyond a month. It's not by choice. It's just that I seem to have a my eyes open enough to see that flaw that I know will be intolerable in the long-run. So while some may try to poke fun at my 1-month dating thus far, I take solace in the fact, that I'm happy and single. I wonder can those laughing at me call themselves "happy and taken" or "happily married"?

Now, it would be nice to call myself "happy and taken", as I have been involved with someone for the past month, but I'm getting signs that it may be over, because I'm feeling (once again) that I'm doing all the work to keep our communication going, and getting no help in return. I say "once again) because if you call, I had this problem with Danny and others, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be put through a one-sided affair again at length like I did then.

This made me sit down, think about, and put into words what I really want out of a guy, therefore makes him more than a guy, but a MAN. Thereby also, making him worth a damn. So I wrote it down and it is as follows:

Call it arrogance, but I know I'm a phenomenal individual in regards to the depth of my heart, mind & soul. So while it's nice to hear, I don't need a guy to tell me that. What I want from him is to be just selfish enough to do every humane thing possible to make those qualities his to benefit from most, but selfless enough to let me give some to the world beyond us, and man enough to say the words and (even more so) do the actions that show he acknowledges and cherishes those traits, as I do the same for him. For THIS makes both of our existences worth a damn, not just to each other, but to the entire world.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

In my recent post, "Faggy Bitch", I said that I would address the issue as to why I do not take part in rallies for same-sex marriage. And today is the day that I make good on my word.

My post, "Write That Down #2", was the start of the explanation for my reason why I don't take part in rallies. It is short enough that I can re-post it here in its entirety and continue with my explanation from there.

In a recent online debate with Taylor Siluwé on his blog about small turnouts amongst gay Blacks at rallies, marches, and the like, I referred to how for a cause led by Whites who don't usually associate with non-Whites, that while trying to reach their goal, those Whites wlll acknowledge all races, colors, creeds, ethnicities, etc. encouraging them to take part, but once that goal is accomplished, those minorities are once again ignored. I said that the small turnout of many minorities at rallies, marches, and such led by Whites may be explained by them catching on to this two-faced behavior. And I believe if you translate that reaction into words, it would probably say,

"Why let you acknowledge the existence of my color today, when you're going to act like it's a stain to wash away tomorrow?"

Those sentiments of mine have not changed. And from what I see of the gay community here in New York, my feet are only going to get more firmly planted into the ground on that stand. The reason I do not take part in gay marriage rallies is because I do not like to stand side-by-side with so many hypocrites. You know they say "one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch". The problem is that in the American gay community, there seems to be too many hypocritical, two-faced bad apples for me to follow that motto. With that many bad apples as so-called "allies", let's say we accomplish the goal of marriage equality together, but afterwards, I still won't feel the safety of a brotherhood, because of the racism and ageism that is worst in the gay community than it is in the straight community.

I've seen these occurences during all times of the day, and all kinds of places in the gay community. From restaurants, to shows, to porn, to mainstream gay media, to simple walks down the street. Now, as you may have come to realize, I spend alot of time in NYC gay nightlife, so many of my findings to back up my statements can be found there.And they will prove valid, because it's during the night, your time away from wearing your "diplomatic office face", is when the true you, and your true friendships will be shown.

Such as how I noticed that while many were mentioning on Facebook and Twitter about becoming part of the Equality March in Washington D.C., and how we all need to "get on the bus", I noticed that many of those people were either promoters in NYC's gay nightlife who seldom hire Blacks as go-go boys or staff (but stand a better chance to be hired if they do drag), or patrons who I see often in my outings, but never socialize with a Black man (not even so much as on a friendly level), or dismissing a man in his early 30's while they are in they're in their mid to late 20's. Yet they try saying that we all need to be in this together. NOW IS THAT FUCK-FACED HYPOCRISY, OR WHAT?! You have no desire to have me in the same workplace or any space for that matter except as a joke, but because you have this goal you want to accomplish, NOW I'm suddenly your brother. Anyone who is any where near as self-assured as I am knows that once that goal of Marriage Equality is accomplished, they will have no idea of who I or any other Black and/or older man is. You'll be another Black and/or older person who because of your being Black and/or older is seen as too ugly for the job, too ugly to socialize with, and too ugly to get to know the intellect of.

This brand of racism and ageism seems to be infesting the entire American gay community. And I feel that if we are to show that we deserve equal rights, then we can't be worse than our oppressors like we are now ----WE HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN THEY ARE. We as a whole must stop being so racist that interracial dating happens less in the American gay community than in the straight community. We as a whole must stop acting like the age of 30 is over the hill, while the straight community acts like it's 40. In this case, both communities are wrong for their practices of ageism, but when it comes to who should be damned first and worse for the act of ageism - unfortunately, the American gay community has earned that ugly honor.

This is why I don't take part in rallies. Because this negativity would be tolerable if it was just a few bad apples, but it's not just a few bad apples. It's acres of bad apple trees. So while I believe in the fight, I will not throw my voice in to be amongst the hypocritical masses I've come to know. When I see this is corrected by way of the social scene, and gay media, THEN I will be in the sea of people taking my stand at a rally.

However, until then, I will show my voice by way of my writing like I have always done here - on my own. Inviting anyone who shares my hopes AND is void of hypocrisy to stand with me.

We are about to ring in the new year of 2010. Let's make 2009 be the end of the hypocrisy.

Monday, December 14, 2009

On December 4th, the daytime soap, "One Life To Live" closed showing the going-ons in different characters' lives simultaneously. One of those things was a gay-bashing.

I immediately realized how often gay-bashings are seldom done by one person. Think about it, not just gay-bashings, but practically every hate crime you hear of is done by a gang. I began to think, "Are these guys too cowardly to try beating a 'fag' up one-on-one? After all, these thugs always want to claim how much less of a man we are for being gay. So why not prove it by trying to kick our ass in a one-on-one bout?

It's because as much as they want to deny it, we are males. Therefore, we possess the same (if not more) strength and skill to defend ourselves in a one-on-one battle. And that possibility is a threat to their so-called "macho-pride". My feeling is that if it's such a threat, then maybe they should stand down, mind their own business, and just leave us be.

With this thought came the words with a melody.. And the 1st verse was born in about 30 minutes. What was the hardest part was thinking of what the 2nd verse would be. Then I thought about New York voting "No" on same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage is a topic that I have never really tackled here, nor have I participated in rallies for. And I will explain why at a later date, but the fact is the decision affected me more than I anticipated or realized. So giving birth to the 2nd verse was a total shock to me. And yes, I said giving birth, because it was like going in to labor thinking you'll be delivering 1 child. You deliver that 1 child, then you get the shock when you wonder why are you still pushing, to discover all that time you were actually pregnant with twins.

Before porn, I was always writing lyrics and poetry about romance and social awareness. Now, I never lost either, nor my desire to write about them. But I was so busy pushing the porn persona, that making my voice of social awareness heard was no longer a priority. Which is why I'm glad I quit porn, because addressing things like gay-bashing and the hypocrisy of government officials matter. They need to be addressed by greater means than tweets or little quips on your Facebook page, like many porn actors are doing, if they speak of it at all.

That's why I wrote these lyrics hoping everyone of my fellow bloggers who agree with what I say here will direct others to my calling these gay-basher and hypocritcal government officials out - on how the derogatory names they call us is really them:
(1)creating a diversion to hide how they live in secret of what we do openly, and they envy us for it, and;
(2)using us as mirrors since they hate themselves for what they are doing in perceived shadows.

This is one post of mine that I strongly encourage you to link, and pass on to friends, and pass the lyrics on to guilty parties. More so than almost anything else I've written in the past. I hope you feel that I've spoken a truth that you already know, just put in a lyrical setting. If you don't already know this truth, then I hope that this helps you to become enlightened.

Faggy Bitch

Look at you needing a band
To make your claim that I’m not a man
You can’t beat me on your own
I guess your bitch-ass ain’t that strong
The word “fag” is your constant line
Proof that it’s so on your mind
Hating on me ‘cause I’m so true
Tells how true is so not you
You’re such a punk
You won’t beat yourself for your self-denial
Take note of your cowardice----
As it’s your own existence that’s vile

You mess of policticians
Believing all your own fiction
Claiming you’re marriage’s protection
Yet more than your spouse sees your erections
Using tax money of gay employ
To buy porn, hookers, and boy-toys
Play in the dark all you like
For what’s in the dark, comes to light
For now, hide behind Bible tales
As I’m leaving time to make you fail
For hypocrisy makes karma burn
With a lesson for you to learn

It may not be p.c.
In fighting for the rights due to me
To call you names
But I’ve grown tired of your games
You see, polite has been done for years
Yet gays are still living with tears and fears
So I’m turning the tables on you
Showing what you call me is really you

Faggy Bitch
Doth protest too much
With each gay you want to crush
That’s right I called your name
Faggy Bitch! Faggy Bitch! Faggy Bitch!
Faggy Bitch
You claim for God you’re doggin’ me
But it’s to divert from your secrecy
Envying how I’m free to be
Here I leave you to just wish and wish

Saturday, December 12, 2009

This picture was taken at the indooor pool party, DR!P. The guy in the picture with me is my friend, Kareem, who is the author of The Blackout Blog, which is where I found this picture.

I have also worn this swimsuit at another indoor pool party, Baña. I may wear it there again at their New Year's Eve party with their theme being "Fire & Ice". The red and blue seems great for that theme.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Thanksgiving Eve, I ventured over to the debut of Suite 69. I was planning to spend some time there then head over to Daniel Nardicio's Horn O'Plenty. But I got so caught up in the fun at Suite 69, that I never made it to Daniel's party. But I looked at it this way - Suite 69 was new, and I've been to Horn O'Plenty in the past for consecutive years. In fact, I've even go-go danced there, so missing it this year wasn't a sin.

Speaking of sin, I did do a bit of sinning at Suite 69, but believe it or not, that's not the focus of this post. It's what happened after that's the tale to tell.

I got cruised on the subway AGAIN. Did any sex come of it? Again, NO, but that's not the story. It's what this guy did to get my attention, and the fantasy it inspired.

I had to transfer for my final train to get home. The train was arriving as I came down the stairs. The stairs ended at the next to last car, and I usually get in the last car since it stops right in front of the exit of my stop. Even though I could have ran to get to the last car, something stopped me from making an attempt. So what stopped me? The sight of these 2 hot guys getting on the that next to last train car. I didn't think I was going to end up in a 3-way or something, but I think I must have sensed something if I decided to not try going to the last car, and make my exit easier from the subway at almost 4 A.M. Well, I was soon to find out.

It turns out they were Euro-boys. One tall slim blond, and the other about my height with dark-hair. The one with dark hair sat right across from me, and we immediately started exchanging glances. Adding a little smirk to his, made it clear that he was checking me out. The blond sat next to him talking to him in their native language paying me no mind. That's partly how I figured no 3-way would come of this. I was trying to figure out if they were a couple or not, but the blond's tone seemed a bit agitated, so I couldn't figure out if the agitation was directed at the dark-haired one in some kind of way, or if the blond was just venting. Either way, for the most part, it was a chain of people ignoring each other as the dark-haired one seemed to pay the blond no attention, and the blond paid me no attention.

With the uncertainty of what they were to each other, I avoided eye contact with the dark-haired one who seemed more and more determined to get a reaction out of me. I could see him watching me with my peripheral vision, and then - he decided to up the ante.

The dark-haired one put his right leg straight up and leaned his foot on the pole to the left of his seat. And by his continued glares at me, he wanted me to see him do this trick. Because I'm sure he knows like I, that any top or versatile gay male, and any straight guy is turned on by discovering that someone they fantasize about is flexible. So imagine how the video that played in my head when I saw that leg STRAIGHT up in the air was similar to this one:

It was a vision of me running over to him, ripping the seat of his jeans open, and also his underwear (that is, if someone as sexually provocative as he showed himself to be would wear any), then wet his eager hole and my cock, and ram my hard-on right into his ass, while the blond and everyone else in that train car watched. Watching me make him beg for me to thrust harder into him. With me able to see his hard cock (most likely uncut) creating a bulge in his pants because he's so glad that I'm inside him. And no matter what orientation the other passengers were, they would get turned on by our loud moans showing how we didn't give a damn about them watching, because we were glad to let out that sexual tension that sparked the moment we sat in front of each other in that train car. Then that dancer-tight hole would squeeze my man-milk out of my cock and I'd spray it all over the crotch of his jeans. And I would soon discover that he's a cum-pig like myself, so he insist on going the rest of the train ride wearing my creamy white load on him for everyone to see.

Then comes the reality, where I knew that couldn't happen, so I put my head down. Because of my tiring frolicking at Suite 69, I started to nod off, and I missed seeing these guys get off the train. By the time I picked my head up, all I got to see was them walking up the stairs. This got me a tad pissed off at myself, because you never know....had I kept my eyes open, I might have gotten an invite to wear out the ass of that dark-haired one, and maybe when the blond was done venting, he would have been interested after all.

Well, it seems that each subway cruising encounter I've had seems to come closer and closer to a real out-cum. So I think it's just a matter of time before a real encounter to tell a tale about does come to fruition. Stay tuned....

Monday, December 7, 2009

A friend asked me to sample a new product from Wet™ lube. I was curious about what this new type of lube this could be, as he never gave me details. When I went to pick up the samples, it turned out being something that never crossed my mind. It's a new lube meant for couples called, Wet™ together Ultimate Pleasure Gel for Couples.

Don't get too excited just yet. There's a catch. The lube is meant for male/female couples, not necessarily gay couples. However, I was asked to try it out to see how useful it could be for a gay couple. Not such a stretch when you consider how lube does serve a different purpose for a top and bottom in a gay encounter, just as it does for a man and a woman in a straight one.

The lube for men is meant to stimulate the penis in a way that intensifies pleasure, and maybe even prolong erections, while the lube for women is meant to stimulate her clitoris. So for my first trial, I used myself as a test subject masturbating, then confirmed it by using it with someone else.

I tried the lube for men first. I followed the instruction, specifically doing it not out of horniness, but curiosity to make my findings more accurate. You see, when I jerk-off out of horniness, I don't need a stimulant like porn, but jerking-off out of curiosity, I do. So I was limp when I first put the lube, and I was getting hard without a visual stimulant, which is unlike me. Once I did put something on, I was taken back to my 1st day on a porn set doing "Oh Boy Escorts 2" when I saw Joseph Nash, and how I got a hard-on as soon as I saw him because I took a Viagra-like herbal pill (FYI - Viagra is practically a rule of thumb on porn sets nowadays). This gel was working almost the same way.

I was later surprised to discover that its effects were absorbed into my skin, enough to linger even after a few showers. Because a couple of days after, I did have sex with an actual person. The guy from "Humbling Suck, Redeeming Fuck" to be exact. If you recall that tale, then you know the sex was AWESOME. Now you know what helped. I'm just realizing it myself, because after that encounter, I was wondering what came over me to make me fuck that guy like I've never fucked anyone before. Hence the many different positions he got fucked in for so long. This lube - at least the one for men, was working.

I did try to male lube on someone else letting him use it to masturbate. Unfortunately, I left it at his place. So I later asked for him to give it back. He has yet to respond. Gee, I wonder why?

I next tried the lube for women. This shouldn't seem so odd because as I said in my presentation for "Sex Worker Literati" my being stimulated from fucking is a lot more external than internal, so anything that enhances that external stimulation is welcome in my home, and on my hole. Well, after I put on the lube, I just laid there. To the point that I forgot that I even put it on. But I was reminded by how in a few minutes, I noticed a sensation that felt like someone was gently blowing on my asshole. It made me need to jerk-off. And when I did, I found myself doing Kegels. So I started doing what I seldom do ---- I played with my hole, but this time vigorously like you see a woman plays with her clit in straight porn videos. But I realized that wasn't enough. The sensation from that lube was making me hunger for an actual entry. This then led me to even more unusual territory in masturbating - I started fingering myself, and was doing Kegels around my finger. If it was a dick, I would have been squeezing it to try and suck the cum out of the guy's cock, which is exactly what happened when in the confirmation part of my experiment (with someone). In addition, I believe this gel made the sex even more titillating than the last time I hooked up with this guy.

So does this lube work for gay couples as well? From what I gather from my initial and confirmation playtime with each lube, I should say so.

So I advise you to WET your dicks and asses with this and get ready to get off ----TOGETHER.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

It's been quite a while since I wrote a ballad. You see, before my getting into the porn industry, singing and songwriting was another of the talents that I was into. In fact, I was heavy into it. So in hindsight, I realize that my involvement in porn made me more prone to erotic poetry and dimminished by openess to depth and romance. Now my retirement from porn has brought me back to the complete openess to depth and romance I once had. Maybe even more so.

That is why one day I was lying on my bed wanting to write something. Something that wasn't overflowing with eroticism like the poems in my "Erotic Poetry" category. Something that instead showed my re-discovered romanticism. I just laid there for a few minutes, and started snapping my fingers, then me humming a melody shortly followed. Now what I needed was a scenario to inspire some lyrics. That's when this line from a friend's Facebook status update popped into my head. It read:

“At home alone, missing the hubby...”

Lyrics starting coming shortly after that, but I wasn't writing them down. I totally forgot that keeping words and phrases in my head to write down later is something that works only for my commentary posts. However, for me, songs and poetry are writings that if I try to postpone writing them down, I'll forget them no matter how great they are. So I jumped up and grabbed a nearby legal pad, and started writing.

The next thing I knew, within 24 hours, "My Baby Comes Home", was born.

While it's been awhile for music, I still remember to copyright my work. So please enjoy it, respecting the fact that it's mine. Thank you.

Friday, December 4, 2009

I appeared at SEX WORKER LITERATI last night. I had so much fun. First off, THANKS to the friends and fans who came out. Your presence was a great help to me. For me, still with the heart of a performer, was nervous as hell. Audacia Ray greeted me, and told me I was going to be the 1st presenter in the 2nd half. I thought to myself, "Great more time to be nervous, and think my presentation is shit." I'm actually glad to have that fear because to me that symbolizes that I don't take my talent for granted. The day I stop having that fear before a presentation or performance is the day to let myself know that I've gotten too big for my britches.

I was greatly entertained by all of the other presenters who were Jeffrey Escoffier, Craig Seymour, Twisted Monk, Alex Kinney, and Matthew Lawrence. I also had run-ins with former pornstar Jake Havoc, Lucas Entertainment's Mr. Pam, and was introduced to Rentboy.com's Jeffrey Davids. All of whom said that they like my presentation.

My presentation was in my head entitled, "Size Queen - The On/Off Switch". It examined how for as a gay porn bottom, I had to portray myself as a size queen, but how off-camera, I'm not and with good reason. I'm not going to get into detail of what I said. To tell you would defeat the purpose of trying to convince you to show up for my appearances, because hearing it after is not as good as hearing it live. But I will say that I enjoyed moving the beautiful female bartender at the venue to give me praise.

I was told by the co-host David Henry Sterry, that it was something no one talks about. And I thought to myself, "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!". Because that meant that my goal to bring my blog to life for a live audience was done. For my loyal readers have read here time and time again, me tackle a topic everyone wants to sweep under the rug. In fact, I think that's why I didn't get more laughs. I know my piece wasn't full of belly laughs, but some places where I expected at least a chuckle, I got silence. I took it as 1 of 3 things, either (a) they were guilty of what I had to say about size queens, (b) my words put them in a moment of thought that they were still engulfed in during a somewhat witty line, or (c) a combination of both.

I'll update you here when video from the night is posted on their video website. This is just a preview of what you missed from my presentation. It's a snippet of the video I used in my presentation with a pre-recorded voiceover of the writing I used for it. Enjoy.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Is it just me, or is this a common scenario you've experienced as a gay man....You're on a bus or train, and a supposed straight guy is checking you out?

If you're answering "YES" already, then you need to hear this little addition to the equation....the reason you can assume he's straight is because he is sitting there with a female either on his arm, leaning on him, kissing him, or feeling him up.

Now, is "YES" your final answer? Well, guess what? It is for me. I seem to get this ALOT. I'll get on the train, and I'll feel some eyes on me. When I look up to see whose energy I'm feeling directed my way, I'll realize it's a guy who has a girl right there with him.

When I write about something, it's usually because a particular situation has happened to me one time too many for me to keep quiet about it anymore. So what sparked this writing? I''ll tell you.

It happened on one of my trips back from Fire Island this past summer. While riding the Long Island Railroad, I was talking to the guy from Dirty Boy Video that I had the tryst with, and my peripheral vision caught this guy watching me the whole time I was talking. Meanwhile, his girlfriend (or wife) is leaning on his shoulder and wrapped around his arm. This really shouldn't surprise me if I listen to my friend, Marc who lives on Long Island. For he has told me that when he has hooked up with someone who lives on Long Island, they've often wound up being straight married men on the down low. After this instance, the blogger and lyricist in me got put into action, because I needed to address this. Because while he was obviously involved with this woman, truth be told, had he been riding that train solo, and staring at me that way, I would have made myself available to him to make plans with me to ride his dick like I was on a buckin' bronco, OR get my ass fucked so hard the lower muscles in my ass cheeks would have been be feeling the power of his pounding for at least a week, because the guy was HOT. BUT since I don't go for guy who I know are monogamous and/or "straight", he lost his hotness to me shortly after. For sex with a knowingly monogamous and/or straight guy is done in masturbation fantasies only. Either party trying to make it a reality, be they the aggressor or the aggressee, is ugly to me, and I'm damn sure not about my make myself ugly.

So from that gawking by a "straight" guy, my initial mutual admiration, and the reasons why it wouldn't happen came forth these lyircs:

Tales Of Your Stare
You got a stare like a dog in heat
It’s a stare that says that you want to meet
I’m flattered to see it directed my way
So much I’m at a rare lost of what to say
To fancy you is by no means a sin
But I must refuse myself to be free to give in
As my body’s craving to surely comply
Knowing there’s a woman claiming your heart at your side

Is this a cruel game being played by fate
A bond we could never peacefully consumate?
Still I see the beauty of a night in your arms
But would that be us sacrificing ourselves to some harm
She seems so blind to the kisses you blow
That make me want to scream, claim you as mine, losing all control
You need to start sharing in what I fear -
Karma whispering valid threats in the ear

See, I won’t lie
There’s a part of me that wants you so bad
I wish we could share the same pair of pants
You in me, me in you flips all day
Flippin’ the bird to what people say
There’s a part of me that wants you so bad
I wish we would lose our pair of pants
Throbs in me, throbs in you flips all night
Flippin’ the bird to all that is right

But the fact is…

The tales of your stare
Are you not aware
Your “straight” claim is a big lie
To save your “macho-pride”
The lies to both you and to her,
Man-up, deal with their hurt
So when the truth hits the fan
You’ll earn the right to hope I’ll be your man