here's the next update. wish me luck in the exams that we'll have tomorrow. and surprise surprise!!! look at the next chapter!!!!

if we have the same mother language, you have the advantage to read a little about my fan fictions. go to my LJ and read the last part of my entry. kudos to you!

CHAPTER 21a:

“Kawaii na…” the girls who were inside the record bar said, giggling madly.

“Hai. Hai!” the other one said.

“He looks just like him!”

“Kaa-chan, they’re all staring at me,” Kazuko said, tugging my blouse. I looked at him, then at the girls who were giggling behind the other shelf. “What are we doing here?” He looked at the shelf where I was looking. “Why are you listening to them?”

I looked at the shelf and yes, I was currently previewing their new single with the headphone. “Nande? Isn’t that alright?”

“Kaa-chan, I don’t want you to be sad,” he said. I looked down at him. I bent down before him.

“Sad? Am I sad when I listen to them?”

“But he makes you sad,” he said, pointing at the CD on the display.

“No, he does not,” I replied, smiling at him.

“But you cry when you see his picture!” he said. He was too young that he could not understand.

“Someday, you’ll understand, Kazuko. But if you just smile for okaa-san, I’ll be happy.”

“Hai,” he replied.

“Why don’t you wait for me outside? I’ll just buy this,” I told him. He obediently nodded and ran out.

I went out of the store minutes later, carrying the CD in a plastic case carefully. I really don’t know why I couldn’t help myself. I was a bit relieved since buying from the US is harder than buying from here. Anyway…

I hid behind the post when I suddenly saw Kazu talking with a tall woman. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my kaa-chan,” he smartly answered. “Aren’t you that girl in the poster?”

She looked behind her and nodded. I also looked at the poster. It was Imi Reina. “Oh my…” I exclaimed. I looked back at them, silently pleading that she wouldn’t be suspicious.

“You really look like my friend, you know,” she said, kneeling down in front of the boy. “Kawaii…”

“You’re also cute,” he said. Reina giggled.

“Arigatou!” she said. “Where’s your okaa-san?”

“I don’t know. Maybe inside,” he replied.

“I’m also waiting for someone,” she said. A car pulled over. “There he is!”

A tall guy wearing a cap and large sunglasses went down from the car. “Reina!” he called out.

Oh no. Now, Aiba’s here.

“Who is this little boy?” he asked, ruffling his hair.

“He’s waiting for his okaa-san,” Reina replied. “Anou… could we leave you here? We’re going to be late.”

“Daijoubu,” he replied.

“Don’t talk to strangers, okay?”

“Hai.”

“Good boy,” Reina replied.

“You’re ready to be a mother, Reina,” Aiba teased.

Reina just smiled before both of them went inside the car. Reina waved at him.

When the car was out of sight, I ran towards Kazuko. “Kazu!”

“Kaa-chan! I just saw that singer!” he said excitedly.

“You really attract superstars,” I joked. “Let’s go home.”

***

“Why haven’t I seen that before?” Aiba asked Reina as they turned around the corner. They were almost in front of the Sony building.

“Nande?” Reina asked.

“That boy… he looks like Nino, ne, Reina?”

Reina contemplated. “Hai. That’s why he’s familiar, ne?”

He stopped at the front gate. “Reina. I’ll see you later.”

“What’s with the fuss, Masaki?”

“I need to follow that kid.”

Aiba drove back to the record bar but he did not see the boy again. He drove a little slower around and around until he saw a woman holding a young boy. He followed them. They slipped at a small alleyway that his car could not pass so he went down and followed them by foot, silently.

As they turned at the corner, he immediately recognized the girl. “Cho-chan…” he gasped, running behind them to keep up. However, the exit of the alleyway was a busy street that he could not see them.

“Kuso,” Aiba muttered. He took out his phone. “Matsujun! I saw Cho! I saw her with that little boy you were talking about.”

“Does that mean that Cho’s back here?” Jun replied. Nino looked up from his script as he was memorizing his lines.

“They disappeared when we exited at the alleyway,” he said disappointingly.

Jun looked at Nino, who was leaning toward him apprehensively. “We have to find her, Matsujun!” he said.

“Demo, you have a…”

“Screw that!” he yelled. “I have to find Cho!”

He took his bag and went out of the dressing room, madly running out of the building. He asked Aiba where he last saw the two and the latter gladly took him there. Aiba was chasing after him to cover him up with a hat and glasses.

They began their search.

***

“Kazuko, I’ll be home late. Just lock the doors and go to sleep, okay?” I told my son on the phone. I remembered something. “And just turn on the CD player so that you’ll be able to sleep.”

“Hai. Kiotsukete,” he said.

“Kiotsukete. Oyasumi,” I said. I hung up the phone and placed it inside my bag. I walked faster so that I’ll be able to catch up to the last train ride.

The rain started to fall down. “I don’t have an umbrella,” I said as I opened my palm to catch some of the soft raindrops. They were cold but somewhat comforting since they were not falling heavily. Minutes passed and the drizzle became a rainstorm. I covered my head with my bag and ran through the rain.

I gasped as I felt someone pull me. “Hanasu yo!” I said. However, the blurry figure pulled me nearer and embraced me.

“Cho-chan…” a voice said to my ear. It was breaking and croaky yet it was still familiar. My arms hung loosely at my sides after I heard his voice, that familiar sweet voice that made me weak and helpless.

I blinked a few times to clear my sight. He pulled away so that we could see each other clearly. “Ninomiya…” his name escaped my lips.

The rain was falling down his face but I know that he was crying. “Cho, nande?” he asked, shaking me softly. “Nande? You promised me that you will not hide anything from me!”

He was asking me why… why I left him, why I hid from him… lots of questions that would go unanswered and would still continue to be… And even the promise… that selfish promise that could have been the reason of his downfall… I broke it for him. But did I really do that for him? Or did I do that to save myself from embarrassment?

“Gomenasai…” I just managed to say. His heart was on my chest, his hands on my shoulders. He was still crying. I could hear it, I could feel it.

My heart was beating painfully. It never wanted to see him like that. I never wanted to see him like that.

And I realized that this is what was happening to him for the past four years… He was full of pain and sorrow and he was all releasing them all to me…

For the first time again, he touched my lips with his, kissing me as though my lips were water after four years of walking in a desert without it.

We were both gasping for breath when he released me, the rain pouring harder on us. “Cho, please, come with me…” he said.

It has been a dream. I wanted him to take me away… take me again… But I remembered that I have Kazuko waiting in our apartment. “I can’t…”

“Nande?”

I just shook my head. “Gomenasai…” I said again. “Please understand. This is for the better.”

“I will never understand!” he shouted angrily, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “I never understood why you left me without a reason! I never understood why you hid from me! Cho! You are killing me with what you were doing!”

He sunk down to the wet pavement, his hands buried in his hair. I stood there, looking at his misery. Then, without thinking further, I sunk down in front of him and held his hands. “Nino…” I kissed him…

“Should I love him or not? Or not?

When did I last feel this feeling of comfort? Before, Nino was the one who comforted me in the rain, after I got scared by the thunder and lightning… And now, I was giving it all back to him. I calmed him in the rain, not caring a bit about the world. I consoled him after all the things I’ve done to hurt him, to kill him… I was making him alive again…

here's my UPDATE!!!... We have a test on saturday so i don't have time to update on that date.....

hope to keep the comments coming!!

CHAPTER 21c:

I slowly opened my eyes, my head spinning. I felt something heavy on my chest and I found Nino beside me, his arms around me. There was a large clock at the wall. It was already dawn. The sun’s early rays were shining down with a golden glow.

I slowly and carefully removed his arm around me and got up. I took my clothes which were still slightly damp and hurriedly wore them before getting my things. I was about to get out of the room when I saw him stir in his sleep. I approached Nino and looked at him for a moment.

“Gomenasai,” I whispered at his ear. He moved a bit and I looked at him nervously. He still did not wake up. I cautiously got out of the room and out of the hotel. Thankfully, there was a taxi stand nearby. I went back home.

I unlocked the door with my own key and changed into a fresh set of clothes before going to bed next to Kazuko. I embraced him. I kissed him on the cheek and said, “I just saw your father last night.”

He stirred in his sleep but he did not wake up. I looked at him closely. He really looked like him. Maybe he would look like him more when he grows up.

And when he grows up, I couldn’t hide the truth from him anymore.

The uchiwa he gave me was on the bedside table. I took it and looked at it, flipping it back and forth. It showed his face, then his message for me.

“Gomen ne. I left him again,” I said.

***

Nino woke up from his slumber to find out the Cho was not beside him. “Cho?” he called out. He sat up and looked around the empty room.

“Iie!” Nino said, unbelieving that she left him again. “Cho!” He stood up and hastily dressed up to follow her wherever she might go.

But the way she said it…

He’ll never find her again…

“Cho, I’ll wait. I know that we’ll be together again,” Nino said as he stopped running. He did not know where she was or where she would go but he knew that they’ll meet again.

“And I’ll never let you go when that day comes…”

***

Nino was driving on the road. Going nowhere in particular. He was passing an apartment building when a small kid started to run to his driveway. In shock, he tried to step on the brakes as hard as he could, causing him to hit the steering wheel. He stepped down and realized that he was too late. The young boy’s head was bleeding profusely.

“Oh no,” he said, his eyes widening. No one was around to ask for help and since he was the one who has the car, he carried the boy and placed him at the back of the car to drive him to the hospital. He felt scared and nervous as he tried his best to drive to the nearest hospital. Cold beads of sweat formed at his forehead. He was undoubtedly panicking for the life of the child. He himself did not know why.

He reached the hospital and hastily took the child to his arms, carrying him to the emergency room. “Tasukete!” he shouted, not caring that he had no disguise and people inside might recognize him.

A nurse immediately approached him and asked him to put the boy on the nearest bed. “What happened?”

“I… I accidentally hit that running boy on the road,” he said in a trembling voice. Was it because he was afraid he might get sued? No… He felt as if the child’s life was important. If it was the normal Nino, he would have been wailing that the accident was the child’s fault, not looking at the way.

Nino was in the waiting area, waiting for the operation to finish. The boy’s forehead had been bleeding and his right arm was broken too. There was also internal bleeding. “This is my fault,” he said, looking at the ground. “I hope he’s safe.” He closed his eyes and remembered that time when he was helpless to save Murasaki from the truck, and the time when he saved Cho from suffering the same accident. He felt his eyes burning his tears. “If something bad happens to him…” he muttered.

The doctor went out of the operating room. “How is he?” Nino asked nervously.

“Are you a relative?” he asked back.

“Iie,” Nino answered.

The doctor sighed. “We need a blood donor for him. He suffered too much blood loss.”

“You could take mine,” Nino offered.

“Demo…”

“I’ll try my best!” Nino answered.

The doctor sighed again. “Very well.” He asked a nurse to accompany him to another room for a series of blood tests. In the end, they found out that his blood type was perfectly compatible with the child so they took blood from him.

Hours later, Nino found himself on a bed in the hospital. He was still weak after the blood letting. He slowly tried to stand up but his head was still spinning. “Can I… see the boy?” he asked the nurse monitoring his vital signs.

She nodded. “He is in the next room to the left,” she said.

“Arigatou,” Nino replied. He limply made his way to the other room. He slowly opened the door and sat on the stool beside the boy’s bed. He was still sleeping. He looked so damn familiar to Nino.

He watched as the boy stirred in his sleep. He slowly opened his eyes. “A-re?”

“Ohayou,” Nino said, smiling. He helped the boy as he tried to sit up.

“Who are you?” he asked. “You look familiar.”

“Sou deshou?” Nino replied. He smirked. “Ninomiya Kazunari desu.”

“Chotto matte. You are the man on my okaa-san’s uchiwa!” he answered. He frowned a bit.

“His mother’s a fangirl,” Nino thought. “Doushita?”

The boy bit his lip. “Nan demo nai. What am I doing here?”

“I brought you here because you got hit by my car. Gomen ne…”

“Ah, gomenasai,” he apologized. “If I had been more careful…” he started to cry.

Nino stared at him. “He was even thinking that everything was his fault!” He suddenly remembered that time when he was wounded and Cho was crying while trying to tend to his wound. He remembered how she always wanted to blame herself when something bad happens to him, even though they very well knew that it was not her fault.

“Anou… Wa… Kazuko desu,” he said. The boy did not want to say his whole name to a complete stranger… or to the guy who makes his mother cry everytime she sees him.

“I thought you are bad,” Kazuko said minutes later, breaking the silence.

“Eh?” Nino was puzzled and angered. “Do I look like a bad person?”

“It’s because…” his voice drifted away.

***

“Anou, Warashi-san, the man who helped your son and the one who gave blood to him is inside the room,” the nurse said.

“Sou ne?” I answered. “I might as well thank him personally,” I added. I opened the door of the almost empty ward. However, I stopped behind the closed curtain of the bed next to me when I heard a familiar voice talking to Kazuko.

“Nande?”

“Ah, sumimasen, that was a complete misunderstanding.”

“Sou da ne?” Nino answered. I heard a little moan of pain. “I think you should sleep, Kazu-kun. Could I call you Kazu-kun?”

“Iie. Only kaa-chan calls me Kazu-kun. She told me I might be mistaken for another person if others call me Kazu-kun,” he answered.

“Daijoubu,” Nino answered, laughing. “I’m the other Kazu-kun.”

“So what should I call you?” Kazuko asked.

“Umm… Kazu-kun?”

I heard their laughter. I heard Kazu’s laughter. A laughter that I have never heard before. And because of that, tears slowly fell from my eyes.

“Ne, Kazu-kun, I think you should sleep,” Nino said in an affectionate voice. The same voice I heard when he comforted me in my sleep. I went behind the shadows and took a peek through the curtains, seeing the two of them. Nino was helping Kazu lie back again on the pillows and put a blanket over him.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Kazuko complained.

“Nande?” Nino asked.

The boy sighed. “I could only sleep when kaa-chan talks to me or sings to me before sleeping.” He sighed. “But there were times, like last night, that she couldn’t sing ot me because she’s gone from work. I always play her CD on those times.”

“Eh? I couldn’t imitate your kaa-chan’s voice!” Nino said. “I’m an idol, not an impersonator.” Then he thought for a while. “What kind of song does your kaa-chan sing?”

“Anou… different songs,” he said. “But I have a favorite…”

“Nani?”

Kazuko tried to hum the tune. I was motionless while I watched the two of them. Nino thinking of the song while Kazuko trying to hum the song to him.

“Baka. That song’s title is ‘Caramel Song’,” Nino said.

“You know that song?” Kazuko asked excitedly.

“Hai,” Nino replied. He started to sing the song, a little slower than the original version and more soulful.

I slowly moved away and out of the room, his voice still echoing in my head. I held my chest tightly and closed my eyes as I tried to catch my breath. At the moment, I wanted to be found. I want him to find me there, to know that the child he was singing to was his. But a part of me wanted to hide and that part of me won.

“Anou… why are you crying?” Kazuko asked as Nino’s eyes started to get watery with tears.

“Betsuni,” Nino answered. “I’m ridiculous, ne? I told you men don’t cry but I am here, crying in front of you.”

Kazuko smiled. “Daijoubu. Doushita?”

“I just remembered someone with that song,” he explained.

“Dare?” Kazuko asked curiously.

“The woman I love,” Nino said, smiling. “I know I made her cry a lot of times even though I promised her that I won’t. I hurt her and know I won’t be able to see her again. But I still love her and I won’t give up until I find her again.”

Kazuko looked at him sadly. “He did not want kaa-chan to cry. He loves her as much as she still loves him,” the boy thought.

“Gomen ne?” Nino said, looking at the dazed boy. “I shouldn’t have said those things. Let’s keep them as secrets, okay?”

“Hai,” Kazuko replied, taking out his pinky finger.

***

i'll be writing an NDA one-shot... however, i am wondering how in the world will i put an r-rated one shot here... hhmmmm....

Nino was walking the streets, humming that old song of his to himself. It has been five years… A year after he saw Cho, after he showed her how much he loved her, she disappeared. He continued his unending search but until now, she was still not in sight.

He sighed to himself. Even though he was still an idol, he felt incomplete in the past four years. Not even his guitar could give him the satisfaction.

He could smile at concerts, smile at photoshoots, smile at his friends, but he could never lie smiling to himself. He was sad and incomplete.

“Ninomiya-san?” the boy replied. Nino helped him up. The boy pouted, about to cry. “I’m lost,” he said.

Nino smirked. “Lost, eh?” He helped the boy up. “Let’s go look for your kaa-chan. Are you with her?”

He nodded in reply. “We were inside that store when I got lost.” He pointed at the record bar where a large Arashi poster was, endorsing their new album. A lot of girls were milling around. “There were lots of people so I got lost.”

Nino sighed. “His mother is really a fangirl?”

Nino thought they should just wait for the boy’s mother to come out of the store. However, an hour has passed and she still did not come out. The crowd of women disappeared and the store owner started to strip down the LE posters.

“Kazu-kun…”

“Umm?”

“Your mother’s not here,” Nino said sadly. “Where did she go?” he asked again.

Nino just sighed and took the boy’s hand and they started to walk the streets in the hopes of finding his mother.

They were about to turn left at a corner when Nino heard a soft voice.

“Kazuko?” she called. “Yokatta!”

Nino was momentarily blinded as the direction of the sunlight came from her way. The boy ran towards her. “Kaa-chan!” he shouted, running towards his mother. Nino gasped as he looked up and finally saw who Kazuko’s mother is.

“Kazuko, where have you been?” she asked as she knelt down to hug Kazuko and kissed his cheek. She was almost crying as she did so. “I thought… I thought…”

“Kaa-chan, Ninomi…”

“I thought someone might take you away from me,” she cried, interrupting him. She hugged him again. “Don’t go running away like that again, ne? I don’t want to lose you too.”

“Hai…”

She stood up and approached Nino, dragging along her son. “Arigatou gozaimasu,” she said. “I’m so happy that you’re…”

“You won’t lose him again.” Nino said, smiling.

Her bow was stopped halfway. She stood straight and watched as Nino removed his hat and glasses. “Omae…” A tear that was struggling to fall down finally made its way down her cheek. Followed by one and then another…

“I won’t lose you again,” he said. He looked at her and the boy with a mixture of sadness and happiness. “I’ve waited for too long…”

“Kaa-chan?” Kazuko asked, pulling the hem of her dress. “I’m right, am I not? Isn’t he the one on the uchiwa where ‘aishiteru’ was written?”

“Kazuko,” she said sweetly. “Don’t be rude.”

“Demo…!”

“Kazu,” she said again.

“Cho-chan?” Nino asked. “The uchiwa? She still kept it?”

“Kazuko,” Cho said, kneeling in front of the small kid. “Hai. He is the one.”

“He wrote there that he loves you. Is he my otou-san?” he asked curiously, anticipation in his eyes.

Cho looked momentarily up at Nino, who was surprised at the boy’s question. He was also quite expectant of her answer. “Otou-san?”

“You’ve been looking for him, ne? Go to him, Kazuko,” Cho ordered, and the boy immediately went to Nino, who bent down and slowly hugged him.

“He’s yours,” she said simply. “Gomenasai. I hid him from you.” She started to cry again. She felt a hand tug her.

“Cho-chan, come with me,” he said, still carrying the boy. He held her hand tight. “I’ll never let you go anymore,” he said with determination, kissing her hand softly. He led the two inside his car and drove up to the familiar apartment.

“Ninomiya-san…” Cho said in awe. Nino unlocked the door.

“I bought it,” he said proudly. The apartment was still the same. It was clean and orderly. The room’s theme is pure white.

Nino led her to her old bedroom and opened the cabinet. Everything was still inside.

“Only two pieces are missing,” Nino said as Cho ran her hands through the dustless goods. “And that is my uchiwa and...”

Without a warning, Nino took her hand and slipped on a diamond ring in the shape of a heart. “The most important part of your collection, my heart,” he said, holding her hand to his chest.

“Why did you wait for me?” she asked. Five years is very long… long enough to have her disappear in his memory.

“Because I know that my heart only fits yours. Not because you have Murasaki’s heart but because you have Cho’s heart,” he said. “Cho, I want to be your one and only love forever. I want to be with you in a hundred years … no… for eternity.”

“Ninomi…”

“Kazunari,” he said. “You still haven’t called me by my given name. I never heard you say it to me.”

“Kazu… Kazunari,” Cho said shyly.

He smiled. “I love the way you say it,” he said. He pulled her closer and kissed her.

When they both released each other, Cho was breathing heavily. “Kazunari…” She looked at the side and blushed. Kazuko was watching them.

“Kaa-chan?”

Nino bent in front of the boy. “Kazuko,” he said. “You see, I just asked your Kaa-chan to marry me.”

Kazuko grinned widely. “Did she accept you?” Nino looked at him. Undoubtedly, this boy was really his. He was like the chibi version of Nino.

“Hai.”

“Yay!” he shouted happily.

Nino hugged his son. “Hai, Kazuko. The three of us, Otou-san, Kaa-chan, and you, Kazuko, will be happy.”

I couldn’t help but smile under the veil as I saw Nino at the end of the aisle, waiting. He really looked like a prince. And I’m not his faithful servant anymore…

I slowly made my way to the other end of the aisle. The familiar tune played on the piano, making me smile even more.

“Cho, you look like a princess,” he remarked as he took my hand. The other members of Arashi beamed at me as I glanced at them, Kazuko wearing an identical white suit beside Jun. he was smiling, a smile that I haven’t seen before.

We exchanged our vows, my voice shaking and breaking as I said mine. It was embarrassing for me to show that I was crying. Katrina, wearing a simple red gown, went forward and passed a small cushion carrying the two rings, with diamonds embedded on it. I noticed that the rings, when they are together, form a heart with their diamonds. He took the ring and placed it on my finger. I took the other and did the same.

I looked at Nino with a surprised yet amused smile after seeing the other members by the piano, singing the song. Their voices, even without the microphone, echoed throughout the small hall. Nino also looked at me, smiling.

Hanakotoba wa, ai no kotoba (ongoing) - i need your moral support because i'm kinda in a sho's-way-of-thinking-drives-me-nuts dilemma... please... please have faith in me in finishing this fic! it's complicated, you know!!