JudgeLynnToler

Man of the House

Man of the House

Whenever my husband leaves town or will be away from home for a while he tells my oldest son “Will, You’re next in line. While I’m gone you are the man of the house.”

When he was young he thought it was cool. When I would ask him to help with his younger brother as the man of the house he was on point. But once he reached adolescence he began to question its meaning. Especially the other day when his father took his younger brother to a baseball game out of town and it was just me and Will.

His father said the same thing he always did. “While I’m gone you’re the man of the house.” My son Will responded as follows:

“That’s just dumb. I can’t tell her what to do. So what does it mean? I’m not the man of the house. I’m not in charge.”

All my husband did is say “remember what I said.”

Well, while hubby was gone I decided to paint the wall in the living room. I thought it best to do it in his absence since I had had a painter come and paint it three different colors three different times and I still wasn’t satisfied. (yeah, that’s right, I want what I want and I was going to work it till I got it)

Anyway while I was in the garage trying to get a ladder Will comes out and says “what are you doing?”

I say, “I’m getting a ladder to paint the wall.” He then took the ladder from me brought it in the house and set it up. I jump on the ladder and he says, “Mom, it’s not steady.” I say “Oh it will be okay, just hold it.”

He said “I’ll tell you what you get down and hold it for me I’ll get the top part.” And that’s what he did. When he finished he asked me if I was cool. I said “well I gotta wait for it to dry and do a second coat.” He says, “Well when you’re ready let me know. I’ll get the top part.”

As he left the room I hollered after him. “THAT RIGHT THERE IS WHAT YOUR FATHER WAS TALKING ABOUT: MAN OF THE HOUSE” What neither one of us could explain to him he did by imitation. He watched my husband and naturally followed suit.

I always get a lot of “who shot John” on Divorce Court about being the man of the house. Most of what I see is a claiming of rights without the taking of responsibilty. No matter what your view is on men as head of the household, none of it means a thing unless the care is there. No matter what else it means to you to be ‘the man of the house’ it must include taking responsibility for your family’s well being.

I had to share this because I complain about my hubby and kids a lot on the show. (and I tell you, they do get on my nerves – there’s a whole lot of “I want, I want I want” going on around here)

But I was so proud of my son and husband both. And I have never been able to really put it into words. It was what I wanted to tell that brother i yelled at the other day but didn’t have it together enough to say.

That’s why you fellas have got to be there. No spreading your seed and walking off. In the house. Involved. Invaluable.

And to all of you who are (and there are a lot of you) : Mad props!!!

Peace.

3 Comments

Marsha Townsend

April 27, 2010

Judge Lynn, I just love you, you are so awesome. Wish I had had a judge like you when I was divorcing my husbands. Maybe I would have gotten married only once instead of 4. Yeah,I haven’t been real bright in my life, now at 63, I’ve learned that I am one of those people who should never gotten married. I believe that marriage is a 50/50 job. We both work outside the home, the home is for both of us, it takes both of us to keep up the home. If you don’t want to help, then I don’t need you. Maybe that’s selfish, but if you ain’t sick or dying, you need to get up and help. My parents were married for years before they passed, Daddy did what Daddy’s do, they help around the house. Again, I love you, you’re awesome and someday I would love to meet you, but not in Divorce Court.

Yolanda~OCM

May 7, 2010

I always love reading that particular blog. You have raised an outstanding son and Boomy isn’t to bad as well.