An engineering undergraduate in Australia has made a major step forward in solving one of the greatest riddles of the universe: that is, where most of it is.
Boffins know from observing the universe that it must have a certain amount of mass, otherwise it would have failed to hold itself together as well as it has. Argument …

actually

Re: actually

Hmm, we appear to be getting into Buttered Cat Array theory here.

Also hmm. It would seem that search engine results for such are no longer returning the original from the usenet oracle, but someone's later recycling of the concept as a competition entry to Omni magazine.

Precis (all AFAIR): The toast is immaterial to the effect. The staining properties of the "butter" are important, as are the properties of the surface over which the cat is dropped. Optimum results are achieved by buttering cats directly with Tikka Masala sauce and releasing them over white Axminster shagpile carpet, as this combination causes the cat to remain suspended and rotating in mid-air even while carrying a significant additional load.

Large Buttered Cat Arrays are used by aliens to provide anti-gravity effect for their flying saucers. Alien spacecraft are often reported as generating a humming noise, which is actually the sound of many thousands of moggies purring in unison.

where did you last see it?

On the other hand...

It's a unique female skill to lose something in the first place (keys, brush, phone, dark matter etc), before blaming you for losing it, then taking all the credit for finding it after 'you' lost it, then constantly reminding you of that 'fact' for the next 20 years.

Heh

H2G2

If you read this in the right way it gets remarkably close to the discovery of the infinity improbability drive.

Scientists had made theories about the universe mut however much they tried to add up the mass of all the stars and galaxies it never added up to a big enough number, so they sighed and decided that the rest was made up of "missing mass". Then one day a Phd student reasoned that if this mass was "missing" then it must be possible to find it so she got the biggest telescope she could find and point out where this mass was ....

Like this penguin's fat belly, cropped but nearby

I know nothing..nothiiiing

Actually no, if the mass was inside the the currect accepted edges of the galaxy the galaxy would rotate faster, for the edges of the galaxy to rotate at the current speed the mass needs to be outside, slowing the rotation, so that what we think is the edge of the galaxy isn't actually the edge, just the visible edge. Much like a wet cat, it would appear to rotate slower when its wet, but fluffed out you can see the rotation is correct acording to the actual edge of the cat, the fur on the periphery of a fluffed cat would move faster that that of a wet cat, but in actual fact its all the same.

To HELL with "Rapture", there's more to enjoy unfolding the universe

It's eye-watering, heart-warming stuff like this that makes me hope like hell that there is no "rapture" for at least 6 million years. Rapture should be a day of reckoning on the individual basis, not planetary or universal scale.

Hopefully a better fit

I always though that too.

"There is no God. The Universe is 3/4 made up of stuff that we're pretty sure is there- it's all here in these books- but you can't see it and aren't aware of feeling it's presence. Now THAT is Science!" never quite sat right with me.