I saw that miniseries. It was pretty much crap, which was too bad, ‘cos I love Gary Oldman; but he played Pilate as a Roman Zorg, and the Magdalene character looked like she wandered into the movie from the set of Sex in the City. I shall pass over the ending — happy Alive Jesus™ dancing with the children up a modern-day street– in silence.

Yeah, just the bloody bits. What the guy is supposed to have said for the preceding three years isn’t important, is it?

No

Right, Frank. And how nervy of them to ignore the kindergarten years! A proper historical show would be 33 years long, right? And Schindler’s List? How come I didn’t see the complete stories of all 5,400 victims? What’s up with that? Selective Speilbergian revision of history.