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Friday, March 14, 2014

Adventures in Vigilante Censorship

I am in the process of cleaning out my Google Photos (which I did not know was a thing, but which is a thing, and which is almost full, thanks to blogs- as an aside, if you notice any posts missing photos now, please let me know!) and I found this series of photos that I posted on Google Plus back when we thought it might actually become a viable social network. These are from a copy of Maggie Righetti's "Sweater Design in Plain English" that I'd borrowed from the library, and are too amusing to languish in the G+ wastelands. The album was called "With a Sharpie in one hand and pearls clutched in the other." Presented with original commentary.

"Getting New Ideas"? What a queer suggestion! The old ones suit me just fine!

stitch and bitch, obviously

Buttonholes are Bastards

"SHE??" ARE ALL KNITTERS SATANISTS???!?!

Our good fairy has also seen fit to write all her numbers right in the book! And question marks, where she doesn't know them. So that we know that she doesn't know them. Because that's important.

This one is my favorite. It said "Let the cleavage show." O! Thanke you, sweet fairie of Decency! Fore wit'out yore Goode influence, I would shorely be but a sailor-mouthed, goddess-worshipping harlot!

You know, it's a shame this person spent so much time trying to be righteous, only to burn in the circle of hell reserved for PEOPLE WHO WRITE IN LIBRARY BOOKS.

Being righteous is such a burden. There are so many library books to cleanse of the Devil's words. Hopefully this fairy will make it her life's work and be too busy to home school her children or vote.