thoughts

I have lived in the same city for most of my life. We came here when I was a little one (16 months old), and my parents have lived in the same house in the suburbs ever since.

Through university, I lived at home, and then moved into a shitty apartment downtown once I started working. I moved into a second, better, apartment nearly a year later, and lived there for three years until I moved in with my now-husband, back in the suburbs.

I’ve been at the same office for nearly eight years, and a girl I went to elementary school with for about a minute started here a few months ago. We ran into one another, and she sort of laughingly asked me if I still lived in the suburbs where we both lived back in the day. I explained that no, I was one surburb over now – not exactly a grand achievement, on paper – and it definitely felt to me like she thought less of me because I hadn’t gone off and lived somewhere grand for a period of time.

And sure, the city where I live is often referred to as “the city that fun forgot” (if google that, it’s pretty easy to figure out where we are, especially after John Oliver reported on our Ashley Madison scandal not too long ago). And while there are things I dislike about here – our winters, for example – I’ve done fairly well here. I have a good job, I have a good husband, a good home, two great children, family and friends…

There are pluses to my city, too. I left my purse at a Starbucks when I was pregnant with my son, and when I came back to grab it, it was still there, completely intact — the gentleman who found it simply put it up higher so I’d see it again. We’re generally pretty polite and friendly to one another, and I feel safe just about everywhere in my city, regardless of the time of day or night.

The city is medium-sized, which makes it easy enough to navigate, and there are usually multiple options for things. If a movie isn’t playing at a good time at one movie theatre, chances are it’s playing at another. A book isn’t in stock at this Chapters? There’s a good chance another one has it. Coffee stores are prevalent, there are lots of good restaurant options, we have really lovely walking trails, lots of great festivals, activities for the kids…

And while I do have a longish commute to get to my job, it’s not nearly as bad as some people do. And our transit system is pretty reasonable, so I can take the bus to and from work. I have a backyard my kids can play in, and space to get away from everyone if they’re driving me crazy.

In the mornings, I have a meeting at 8:30 a.m., and I have to phone in/show up prepared with my assessment of the news as it pertains to my work. So that means that my little free time mornings are now occupied with reading the clips and making sure I’m ready to dial in. I’ve also found myself many mornings with work that needs to be done (or at least the desire to get things done), so as much as I’ve wanted to, I haven’t written anything. As you may have noticed.

So anyhow, life moves on. I’ve been trying to get at a bunch of craft projects – yesterday before I got home I was all fired up about finally finishing a piece that’s been taunting me for years – but just lost the enthusiasm for it. I have, however, mostly finished my Christmas shopping (minus my aunt and uncle), and that feels great. Now I just have to finish up the craft projects for the parents and in-laws, and wrap everything, and I’m all good.

And of course, now that I have the time and desire to write, I can’t remember all of the lovely posts that I kept composing in my head.

We’ve continued our annual tradition of decorating the office, and though it’s a bit of a sadder effort than the first year we did it, it’s still nice to see. We took all of the ugliest and tackiest decorations we could find (which reminds me, I still have some ornaments from home to bring in), and have hung them from every surface possible. We’ve also rebuilt the chimney/fireplace that sits by my desk, though it’s not quite as impressive as it was the first time.

I also elected to wear a skirt to work today. Big shock. But it’s supposed to go up to 15 degrees today, they’ve finally figured out how to set the thermostat to something other than ‘ass-chillingly freezing’ in my office, and I thought I should mix things up from my usual dress pants with a sweater look, so here we are.

I’m finding I have more body confidence since my weight loss (not a huge loss, but a good start), and I want to wear more flattering clothes, and I feel nicer in my clothes. My stomach still needs some work – between my lack of abs before the pregnancy and the weight loss and the lack of abs following the pregnancy (plus stretch marks and some loose skin), it’s kinda rough looking. But I gave up wearing belly shirts to the office, so I don’t think it’s too big of a problem.

It can be tough to look in the mirror sometimes, though. Some days I get dressed and feel great, then look in the mirror and realize what’s reflected back there just isn’t as amazing as I think it is. But I’m trying, and sometimes succeeding, and most days I’m happy.