Flowbear

3/5/07

I’ve started just downloading movies instead of using Netflix because I find it inconvenient and surprisingly difficult to go to the mailbox to get the movies, undo the envelopes, take out the movies, watch the movies, repackage them in the envelopes, walk back to my mailbox and put the envelopes back into it, without forgetting to put the tiny white flag up (I surrender!). So, if money is doled out proportionately to the amount of time people keep them, the producers of Wild Style, Crush Groove, and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, all three of which I have had in my possession for pushing two months now, have got to be rolling in it.

It took me three and a half hours and two individual viewing sessions (with lots of short breaks) to watch Borat. Every time I sensed something uncomfortable coming, I had to get up and take a lap around the house to steel my wool for the impending humiliation, anchorman, fratboy, and dinner party guest alike. Of course, this is coming from a guy who used to get uncomfortable watching episodes of Sister, Sister and wondering how the twins were going to get out of another sticky situation that always involved 1) lying to cover up something nefarious they had done and 2) getting caught and “learning a lesson” that lying is wrong, only to be right back at it in the next episode, lying and cheating their way out of trouble and then feigning contrition when it came back to bite them. Where’s the morality? For the children?! FOR THE CHILDREN!

This is seriously the third time I’ve made reference to Sister, Sister in as many weeks. I’m so fucked.