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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

I don't know about you guys, but it seems like everyone I know has gotten sick with something contagious this winter. Heck, I was sick the entire month of January. Because knowledge is power, I think you ought to know just what the nasties that are causing all this misery look like. We rented a powerful microscope -- hey, we spare no expense for you, our dear readers -- put samples of the germs under the microscope, and magnified them 5000 times. Here's what we found: Let's start with...

Everyone needs to fall down and adore me now. "Why?" you ask. "Because you're so adorable?"

That would be reason number one.

But reason number two is because I've been feeling like that beautifully rendered nose cake for a week (minus the vivid coloring), and in that week, I've graded more than 80 major papers (40 of which get personalized typed "go this way, not that way" letters) AND I'm a quarter of the way done grading exams.

I'm riding a professor's high right now. It might be induced by fever, but I think it'ssnot.

As one who has spent five days so far subsisting on cough medicine and tissue paper, I appreciate your spot-on post! I laughed until I coughed..... And, while I thought I might have strep, it was just a little colt....

Hmmm....looks like I need to send in my microbiology slide collection to Cake Wrecks so you guys know what the germs *really* look like... ;-) And I'll throw in my photo collection of ice cream cake microbe-look alikes for free... (For some reason, the local HEB has a ton of ice cream cakes all decorated with dots and squiggles resembling everything from Acanthamoeba astronyxis to Yersinia pestis to with some spirochetes and tapeworms thrown in for good measure...)

Love your haiku, Haiku Joy! I'll definitely kow-tow to you! No way I could manage to grade all that stuff & send out custom letters in the distant hope that said students might actually be interested in improving their writing and do exams too while being so near death with that gunk!

Crystal <I>gavel</I>? I swear, I thought it said the Crystal <I>Gayle</I> award, and I was trying to figure out how it was shaped like a woman with hair down to her ankles! (Wondering how many here are even old enough to know who Crystal Gayle is...)

I hope you're all feeling better, and that Haiku Joy doesn't get any papers worthy of spreading the germs on.

And thanks for the explanation about why, when I checked at 11am EST, there wasn't a new entry. That'll teach me not to check at 9:30am like I usually do (and I usually do so that I'm sure to see the spaceship earth cakes before they become spaceship earth pics instead).

Wow! What a day at the CW HQ! A stellar post by Sharyn (wash your hands, people! Get some rest! And for all of you with that last disease...stop sleeping around with the alley cats! oy! :D haha jk), positively moving comment by Haiku Joy (now I will be super conscious about what I post knowing an ENGLISH Professor? is reading the comments...yikes! How does it surprise me that the someone with the name Haiku Joy is an English Professor of sorts? haha), and some mysterious "previous" post that had to be taken down.

The last point is the most intriguing. Anything that can make PEOPLE SAD WITH CAKE (besides wedding cake wrecks, which are too tragic to even joke about!) would've been worth seeing. Drat. I guess the early bird gets the worm.

Current #1: This one makes me sad -- for the customer. It has SL-style giant candles, but they aren't drooping, so this can't be due to heat. It took me a few minutes to link "flu" with "landed very badly." I hope that doesn't mean I'm coming down with something...

#2: Isn't e-coli a brand of cough drops? I never could figure out how showing people smoking really long pipes could be useful in pitching cough drops. (I kid. Those 'pipes' are really a clever communication system used in mountainous countries. On the other side of the valley, people hold their ear to the instrument to listen.) (Ok, not really.)

#3 [Intercom] Theardare, bring me the Unsee Machine. STAT!

#4 I still don't see a horse here. What I see isn't horse-like in any respect. Oy.

#5 Sometimes, a crystal gavel is just a... Who are we kidding, here. I have to admit that I thought the official commentary on this wreck implied that staph is an STD. Not.

@Haiku Joy -- I am quite sure you are adorable in every sense, but I won't fall down. I WILL give you a virtual hug ((((Haiku Joy)))) and best wishes for a speedy recovery. You are aMAZing getting all those papers done!!!Great wrecks - great captions, as always. Keep it up, Jen and John!

@ Sharyn: thanks for the sympathy and the kind words...@SuBee: thanks for the offer of soup...if we lived closer, I'd come and get it...I'd just love to pick at my nose....@KarateLady:thank you for your good wishes...my sisters have threatened that if I don't go to the doc tomorrow they'll come over and drag me there....

Also, in reviewing my own post...not tissue paper...tissues....I have not been wrapping gifts...it is very hard to see what you've written when the screen is splotched with mucus...I thought it was sputum, but it'snot....

Wow. that nose cake did me in. I'm not sure what kind of infection you have once your snot is neon green, but I think once your boogers get that color, you need to give up and just go to the doctor's for some antibiotics.

And the horse cake, I'm both horrified and feel sad for the genetic monstrosity created by a horse, a pile of poo, and some sort of demonic force of evil.

Oh man.. and yes I did manage to get sick this lovely winter..and I felt like that first cake too lol. Only instead of pink I looked very green. Appropriate for St. Patrick's Day. How on earth can they sell these things with a straight face? I would be dying of laughter lol.