VividLife Radio’s Ed and Deb Shapiro welcome Arielle Ford, prominent book publicist, international best selling author and leader in the field of consciousness along with her husband Brain Hilliard to discuss her new book best selling book Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships which includes stories from Barack and Michelle Obama, Arielle is a gifted writer and the author of eight books including the international bestseller, THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction.

Her stellar career includes years as a prominent book publicist, author, literary agent, TV lifestyle reporter, television producer, Sirius radio host, publishing consultant, relationship expert, speaker, columnist and blogger for the Huffington Post. www.arielleford.com

She has been called “The Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love” and believes that with a simple Wabi Sabi shift in perception, couples can discover the beauty and perfection in themselves and their partners leading to a deeper, more loving and more fulfilling relationship.

As the president of The Ford Group, Arielle was widely recognized as America’s foremost book publicist and was instrumental in launching the careers of many NY Times bestselling self-help authors including Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Neale Donald Walsch, and Debbie Ford. Arielle was the publicist for dozens of other top selling authors such as Wayne Dyer, Gary Zukav, Dean Ornish, Joan Borysenko, Louise Hay, Jorge Cruise, and don Miguel Ruiz.

She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a subscriber-based monthly DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion. She was responsible for the rapid growth of this company that has now been acquired by Gaiam, Inc.

VividLife Radio hosts Ed and Deb Shapiro welcome Robert Thurman, Jey Tsong Khapa Professor of Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies in the Department of Religion at Columbia University, and co-founder and President of Tibet House US to discuss The Way Peace, Robert Thurman is personal friend and first American to be ordained a monk by the Dalai Lama and father to Hollywood superstar Uma Thurman

LISTEN: Arielle Ford ~ Wabi Sabi Love, Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships was last modified: February 13th, 2012 by Going Out of Your Mind with Ed and Deb Shapiro

What if there was a guide to prevailing over the potential pitfalls and perils of the relationship journey that felt like a friendly hand to assist you in maneuvering the myriad mudholes? Today is your lucky day, if you are discovering Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships. Written by Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret, it speaks to the challenges we face regardless of the longevity and form of relationship. It could as easily (as I have discovered) apply to parent child or platonic relationship as romantic partnership, although that was Ford’s intention in writing about “the ancient Japanese art form that finds beauty and perfection in imperfection. Wabi Sabi honors that which is imperfect, impermanent and incomplete. It finds beauty in most things modest, humble and unconventional.”

I laughed when I first saw the words many years ago, and my mind immediately went to wasabi. In my many ways, wabi sabi can emulate the spicy radish that enhances food AND has a strong, eye watering kick to it, much like the perfectly imperfect aspects of relationship can do both.

The Wabi Sabi concept came to Arielle’s attention two decades earlier when she glimpsed a black and white photograph of an Asian urn with what looked at first glance like a damaging crack running through it. Rather than being masked, it was glorified with gallery lighting. It made no sense to her Western mind at the time. As she further explored the idea that beauty takes varied forms, she discovered that our seemingly broken places hold treasures.

Ford reveals that when this powerful idea is applied to their interactive dynamics, people were able to work through otherwise daunting challenges. Relationships are complicated and the individuals in them, no less so. We carry our baggage, beliefs and habits into them and a brave partner will help us unpack and peruse, with a willing heart.

So many people find boundaries challenging. She gives examples that differentiate between accepting the unacceptable (such as abuse of any kind) and behaviors that may dissipate in the light of love and trust that all will work out. There are several couples referenced in the book that gave each other latitude which resulted in profound healing.

Naked honesty about her own areas of vulnerability were stepping stones toward creating the relationship of her dreams and desires with her soulmate Brian Hilliard. Prior to meeting Brian, she had an eye opening discovery. It was one of those life changing, pivotal moments during which a man with whom she was on a date said to her ” You are one tough and powerful woman, and I’ll bet you scare the shit out of most men.” What had served her in the business realm was not an enhancement in the area of romance. As a result, she learned to balance the yang with the yin.

She and Brian found early on, that beyond the fairy tale image of happily ever after, there were specific differences in world view and lifestyle. Somehow they are able to meet in the middle and find common ground. One such variation is Brian’s passion for basketball that felt at first like totally foreign territory for Arielle. She learned to love it, as she loves him. Another is their different work styles. While Arielle is focused, check list, get it done right away, Brian is more casual, conversational and revises his projects over a slightly longer period of time. Open communication is what has allowed them to see things from the other person’s perspective and reap value from it.

Arielle and Brian use humor to defuse potential conflict. She shares how they invoke the names of their parents at just the right moment. If Arielle embodies the sometimes overpowering essence of her assertive, confident, successful mother, she has encouraged Brian to ask “Is Sheila in the room?” and if Brian puts up emotional walls, Arielle refers to him as Wayne, who is Brian’s father.

The book opens the door and allows the reader into the day to day lives of high profile couples including relationship teachers Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, (Gay wrote the foreword for the book) and Barack and Michelle Obama. Each one is a daring view of the ways in which they learned to express needs and communicate desires so as to grow the relationships in the midst of the spotlight. Shared vision and purpose are the highlights of those marriages as well as those of the others cited in the book.

Wabi Sabi love contains many portable tools in the form of an explanation of principles such as “When we are out of balance with our energies, our relationships become lopsided. Like two halves of a circle, each partner moves fluidly back and forth as in a dance. To avoid stepping on each other’s toes, stay conscious of the energies to remain in step with your parner.”

Simple to put into practice exercises have fun titles, such as Learning to Go from Annoyed to Enjoyed which invites the reader to change perspective on a partner’s behavior that would have pushed buttons. Ford suggests listing the behavior and then 5-10 times when these actions might occur. She then delves more deeply by inquiring : How many more times am I willing to allow this situation to annoy me? What payoff do I get by finding fault? What does being annoyed keep me from having? Where did I learn to be annoyed by other people’s behavior? The next step is a stretch for some as it asks the reader to wonder how they can learn about themselves as a result and what gifts might be contained within the experience.

Wabi Sabi Love is a gift that will keep on giving as the reader learns to value the imperfectly perfect nature of the man or woman in the mirror and determine that they and their relationships are worthy of the time and energy that it takes to create the union of their deepest heart’s desires.

Rev. Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW is a Renaissance Woman and Bliss Mistress who delights in inviting people to live rich, full, juicy lives. Edie is an internationally recognized, sought after, colorfully creative journalist, interviewer and author, a dynamic and inspiring speaker, licensed social worker, interfaith minister, offering uniquely designed spiritual rituals. In addition, she is a PR Goddess, promoting events and transformational teachers, healers, writers and artists. She speaks on the subjects of wellness, spirituality, sexuality, creativity, time management, recovery, body image, mindfulness, self esteem, stress management, re-creating yourself, caring for the caregiver, loss and grief. She is a frequent guest on radio and TV. Edie is currently writing her first best selling book entitled The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into The Extraordinary and is offering a workshop for women who want to re-create their lives, based on those concepts. A 20 year old journalistic vision came to pass in July of 2008 when she interviewed His Holiness The Dalai Lama. It was a potent reminder to never, ever, ever give up on our dreams. Over the years, Edie has written for mainstream and transformational publications. She has interviewed hundred of notables in the transformational fields, including Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Debbie Ford, Leonard Peltier, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Beckwith, Jonathan Goldman, Gregg Braden, Neale Donald Walsch, Mary Manin Morrissey, Dan Millman, Alan Cohen, Ram Dass, Jack Canfield, Jean Shinoda Bolen, Patch Adams, Ben and Jerry, Donna DeLory, James Twyman, Elizabeth Lesser, Michael Franti and Jean Houston. Her website is http://www.liveinjoy.org

I’ve heard this story many times before, but it had special poignance today as I realize just how many people I encounter in my daily work who feel like damaged goods as a result of their perception of circumstances they have faced throughout their lives. While it is true that many have been through trauma and abuse, of which I am at a loss to make sense and comfort at times. Some of the residual pain they feel that often leads to suidicidal thought and in far too many cases, multiple attempts, Read On…

Even though Diane truly loved Jerry (her husband who is 20 years her senior), she was confronted on a daily basis with something about him she found very hard to embrace: his passion for poppy seed bagels. Since childhood, Jerry has had a love affair with poppy seed bagels. In fact, he enthusiastically devours one nearly every day. Jerry’s slices and toasts his bagel, then takes it into, Read On…

READ: Wabi Sabi Love by Edie Weinstein was last modified: January 23rd, 2012 by Edie Weinstein

Even though Diane truly loved Jerry (her husband who is 20 years her senior), she was confronted on a daily basis with something about him she found very hard to embrace: his passion for poppy seed bagels. Since childhood, Jerry has had a love affair with poppy seed bagels. In fact, he enthusiastically devours one nearly every day. Jerry’s slices and toasts his bagel, then takes it into his home-office to relish in its flavor.

Like Hansel in the fairytale, Jerry always leaves a trail of poppy seeds that sweeps across the white-floored kitchen, through the center of the house and into his office. Jerry is aware that he is a bit of “a sloppy Joe.” Although he has often made an effort to clean up the poppy seeds, his cleaning skills somehow never match Diane’s desire to have an utterly spotless floor.

One day Diane was feeling particularly grumpy about something unrelated. As she entered the kitchen and looked down, her level of grumpiness increased a hundred-fold when she found herself swimming in a sea of scattered poppy seeds.

Like she had done every day for more than thirty years, Diane moistened a hand towel and got down on her hands and knees to begin cleaning up the mounds of seeds that had accumulated.

Just once, she thought to herself, I would like to come into the kitchen and not find these poppy seeds. She frowned as she vigorously hand-wiped the floor to her satisfaction.

Sitting back on her heels, a thought struck her through the haze of her own frustration. What if the floor never had any more poppy seeds on it?

As if hit by lightening, Diane suddenly realized, That would mean there would be no more Jerry!

Tears flooded her eyes as she stood up. She gazed down at the poppy seeds that were gritting up her floor. Instead of looking like grains of gray sand, they suddenly looked amazing to her – like little black diamonds that represented everything in her life that was precious and sacred to her. She rushed into Jerry’s study, threw her arms around him and kissed him through tears of joy. He gave her a quizzical, yet loving look as he popped the last bit of poppy seed bagel into his mouth, then brushed the seeds that had landed on his shirt onto the floor.

Today she describes it this way:

“Now, no matter how many seeds I may mop up, I’m very peaceful inside. Whenever I see those poppy seeds, they fill me with so much love and gratitude; and on some days I deliberately leave them and my old compulsive behavior behind as I smile, turn on my heel and walk away.”

It’s been said that we are “meaning making machines,” interpreting events and behaviors to fit our world view. What behavior of your mate’s can you reframe today to not only alter your perception but to empower both of you and add more joy to your lives?

Arielle Ford is a leading personality in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. For the past 25 years she has been living, teaching, and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is a gifted writer and the author of eight books including the international bestseller, THE SOULMATE SECRET and her laest book WABI SABI LOVE – The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships. She believes that with a simple Wabi Sabi shift in perception, couples can discover the beauty and perfection in themselves and their partners leading to a deeper, more loving and more fulfilling relationship. www.thewabisabibook.com

When I began teaching personal transformation work more than 25 years ago it was a novelty. Back then, sharing ideas about healing the soul, standing in personal power and transforming the mind was considered by many to be strange….

God is the first word I learned to point to the sacred Presence that was with me when I was a child. When I was young I could taste that Presence within and around me all of the time. I talked with this Presence, I lived inside that holy heart beat. Walking down school hallways, sitting in classrooms, crossing the frozen river on the way home in the darkness of a northern afternoon, I could hear the voice of …

READ: LOVING A WABI SABI SLOPPY JOE by Arielle Ford was last modified: January 6th, 2012 by Arielle Ford

Be The First to Know

Email address:

Leave this field empty if you're human:

My VividLife: South Africa

Shayne Traviss

Sometime's growth involves digging up the dirt and planting anew...
After over 20 years of marketing, promoting and producing others I've decided to open a new chapter in my life.
If you long to go higher, live a life 'all in' join me as I dive in deep sharing my life experiences, travels and inspirations for living a VividLife.

Follow Me On Instagram

About VividLife.me

Founded by Shayne Traviss formerly VividLife.me was an online resource for personal growth through over 10,000 blogs, audio conversations and videos, from thought leaders, best-selling authors and wellness experts from around the globe. VividLife.me provided engaging conversations on consciousness and human potential with Arianna Huffington, Jane Fonda and Alanis Morrissette, wisdom packed blogs from spiritual Icons Iyanla Vanzant and Ram Dass, Green Tips from David Suzuki’s Queen of Green, Advice from Award Winning Parenting and Relationships Experts, Recipes from Vegetarian, Vegan, Raw Chef’s and more… and reached and inspired over 3 million people around the globe.
However sometime's growth involves digging up the dirt and planting anew...
And after over 20 years of marketing, promoting and producing others Shayne Traviss decided to open a new chapter in his life.
If you long to go higher, live a life 'all in' join him as he dives in deep sharing his life experiences, travels and inspirations for living a VividLife.