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One ogf the most helpful "ukemi" practices I do is to have a reaction to a post in a discussion which sets me off, write my response and then hit "delete" instead of "submit". It is a measure of my ability to contain myself and act from a place or response-ability rather than reactionality (yeah, I male up words,too).

Sometimes tho, the thing that wants to get said can be a valuable indication to me of how I am and sometimes its something that I believe is a valid question or statement that, if posted in a discussion can be misinterpreted as me being argumentative when I think I am being rhetorical.I'm thinking I can use this space to make comments which I believe might be deleterious to the discussion I'm reacting (as opposed to responding) to. So here goes-

On the "which is more effective for *anxiety reduction*, aikido or yoga" question:

...and after this one you could do -
the benefite aof aikido AND yoga
as compared to say, yoga and meditation
or aikido and role-playing
or aikido and religious practice
or religious practice and yoga
or yoga and basketball
or basketball and ballet
or even which lends itself to creating More anxiety, the desire to advance in yoga or the desire to advance in aikido
or is it better for anxiety reduction or anger management?
or which is more/less competitive?
I"m really not trying to be argumentative here, but as a long-time yoga practitionar and 2nd kyu, these are both practices I have some experience in, and while they
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This week we're working on the moment of "impact", the split second that happens At the grab, so Sensei had everyone do hard, forceful morote dori attacks, strong and faster. I was having fun with it, finding my extension, moving my center, not forcing the technique but really feeling the directionality of uke's movement and simply letting them go where they were trying to go.
Of course at first the boys were being pretty tentative in their attacks, so I kept asking for more until they were giving me stuff I could Work with and now have the bruises, albeit invisible to my eye, to not show for it.
What was curious was my ukemi. Either I wouldn't allow the throw but walk right under their arms- the technique being morote dori sayu iriminage, if i dont want to be thrown in iriminage I don't lose my balance, or the inverse, or somethng like that.
But this was extereme.I would just spin out and laugh. Or fall down badly. I couldn't remember which shoulder went with which foot tucked. I backpedaled.When I did manage to fall my toe would get stuck between mats, or go up my gi, or I'd have to abort a roll due to impending collision;I just couldn't take technique for anything.
I finally brought it up to Sensei, who had me attack one of the nidans, and we watched me get halfway turned around- I can't remember the exact technique by then, maybe an ura iriminage from morotedori- anyway, I stated backpedaling and saying 'see, like this" and Sensei had my partner hold me there at
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Aikido tests are over for the year. Last night I thought I would be to sick to test, today I am a Brown Belt!
The test itself was a blur but all I knw was I ended up the jiyuwaza with two attackers Smiling, and thats really all that mattered, really. Best jiyuwaza I've Ever done, now I think I Get It.
Sorta....
And the Only corrections I get were universal in the dojo, every one of us had the same problem so the teaching staff know now what they need to concentrate on with us.
And Janet came to give me support, which she did by taping up my wrist, and giving me her very own gently worn brown belt to wear,which I will not actually wear on the mat until everybody else gets their new belts.
Now to work on the next one. Yokumenuchi ikkyo-yonkyo. Katadori ikkyo-yonkyo suwariwaza. Koshis...Variations(everybody's weak point)
Maybe I can do it in a year....
It was a good test.

Felt like shit all day yesterday. THat, "oh fuck I'm getting sick and have to get up on stage in twenty minutes" feeling. Coughing, walking into things,incipient sore throat. Lots of chicken soop and ossilococcinum. Relax.Its just a test and you aren't training for rank anyway.
Finally called Sensei at 9 to say I *might* hafta bail & i'm so embarrassed. He told me i wouldn't have to wait for the next test cycle, we would "work something out" which was all anyone could hope for, it was really OK with me to just let it go.
I'm better this morning, aiting for the coffee to go through.Not 100%, just enough to knock the confidence down to a reasonable level, I feel like I was starting to get a little cocky- I believe this is known as Brown Belt Syndrome, which can't be healthy!
And I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do katatedori iriminage...

So I'm not as ready as I could be but i"m as ready as I am...gotta trust the System...

ok so i'm typing 1 handed cuz the other one is on ice. hot & sweaty class, i didn;t even close the window b4 warnups. worked ikkyo aal night & once again sensei liked my suwariwaza, even better than my standing, at leasy on the omote, i don't recall him taking ukemi on my ura.
jiyuwaza i hear him hollering something which finally sinks in as "don't do the technique untill your hip is touching uke's hip.
well, why didn't he tell me that two months ago,or tow bloody years ago? Nancy said that one of the yudansha said neither of us was ready to hear that two months ago. i just barely heard it at all tonite but wow,when it sunk in...
i definit;y consumed the wrong caffeine tonite, usually i have a red bull but tonite i took a diet pill, big mistake.
worst momrnt of the evening-sensei calls me for variations, he wants threee from yokumen. huh???? thatt's not on my test, and i don't think i was ever taught nore than threee and we really only ever practice shihonage so of course ib froze up. Charlie took me aside after class and showed me what I really should have been able to figure out, the same entry is used for all those thechniques that start with k that are on the test that I have thoroughly programmed now. and my uke practiced with me and promised he'd not be so hard on me during the test but he willl definitly give me strong attacks.he's gonna be a hell of a sensei some day and I am so glad we are encouraged to give & take feedback to each other regardless of rank. all
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Nancy came over just now to do a little training. Is the first time a dojomate has been here since I started training, with the exception of my third class when I dislocated my shoulder & needed a ride!
We crawled around on my deck on a piece of carpet and tried to only attack with my good hand, tho she got a bunch of sankyos on my bad wrist.Good thing I have lotsa smelly chinese liniment! Between Richard & me the dojo will be fragrant with mentholeucalyptus!
But feeling her suwariwaza is helpful for mine, and mine seems to be better than I thought it was.
I practiced my variations, still a little rocky on hijiwaza but everything else seems to be programmed into the system.
Tonite is fine-tuning. Sweating buckets.
YesterdayI got hypnotized. "Drop into your body. be present, be open, be in your body. Let your body remember what to do...""you can do Anything"

I can,huh?

Nanacy was very complimentary on my technique and my personal progress. Yup, I keep getting better....

Remember the original post to this current test blog? That was the last time we practiced suwariwaza. So last night Nancy asked for some coaching and we spent half an hour with a sempai.Now my left wrist is all messed up because while she had to practice getting out of her upper body my arms were getting jerked all over the place- and I'm sure I was doing the same to her, but we don't complain...I know where to get pressure tape...
And then I think of my kohai who is testing for 4th kyu. With a metal plate in one arm, and recentlymangled knee and a very newly smashed hand & fingers on his "good' arm,( professional stunt man, naturally) not only testing but getting up and taking ukemi for the 5th kyu candidates.
Watching one of said soon-to-be-5th kyus in jiyuwaza last night, and being able to see in him how I hesitate on every technique. Last night I fuzzzed my focus a bit and was much better able to enter & turn without getting stuck, and after the randori with the two yudansha present the teacher for the night declared to all " and she Can't fake this like the rest of us" and I came off the mat simling.
Got to do some practice on my variations,am slightly less panicked this morning.
Now just to stay centered from now through Saturday....

Could NOT wrap my brain around katatedori kaitenage for anything tonite and driving home I realised that I had only ever practiced the ura (tenkan) version and never even realised there was an omote(irimi) version that is a little like nikkyo omote and I was getting all kinds of tied in knots cuz I couldn't figure out why I didn't know what I was doing. Now I have to remember Not to do that one on the test, until I get to Variations, during which I will probably default to iriminage & kotegaeshe along with kaitenage ura as I already have them from three attacks and default them during jiyuwaza anyway...
Did a nice little jiyuwaza tonite with Carlos & Bill, nice & slow and I totally managed to not get into "deer in the headlights" mode which is how I usually do jiyuwaza.I'm still nt going into the attack but I'm not staring in their eyes, I'm moving my feet & not running away as much.
But yeah. much panic.

Sensei likes mine! Specially the ura.
I have a modeling gig tomorrow with a brand new drawing group. Watch me explain the bruises.
He also liked my shihonage, and in jiyuwaza I managed to keep my feet moving but Sensei had to keep reminding me to ENTER and I can't, pardon the pun, get behind entering without that reminder in my ear.

Linda joined the dojo about five months after I did. For a while I resented her because she got to be the New Kid and get all the attention. I got over that. I have welcomed every new student since.
She doesn't train as consistently as most of us so is still a fifth kyu but doesn't give a damn about rank, and then had a terrible accident a year ago so lost lots of mat time, but recovered & returned in half the time her surgeon thought it would take.
Anyway, we were on the phone just now about some modeling work (how many dojos have Three professional nude models in their membership?) and I was moaning about my test and she told me she thinks I look great, ESPECIALLY my jiyuwaza. Now this girl is an extremely visual learner so she knows exactly what to look for. Of course, she see my best work After Sensei has stopped me & given me the same corrections he Always gives me, which leads me to believe that He wants to see that Without correction. but still, it was a very lovely compliment and made me feel better about missing class last night.