Monday, August 15, 2005

kermit the frog here with a muppet newsflash....

it appears that our local convenience storehas hired an insane womanin order to cut down on the threat of peoplerobbing the store with a syringe...

(this is just speculation, of course, but whatever)

my first trip into the store, she was bubbly and happyand full of "hi, how are you tonight?"sand when i politely responded the obligatory "fine, how are you?"i got a suddenly cranky snarky "my feet ache, i'm sweating and tiredand want to go home"hehhehok then...

so there was a line of people ahead of meand a man was going to pay for his bottle of water with a 50...annoying i know but not against the law as far as i have heard...so here is the conversation:cashier: i can't cash a 50man: oh?cashier: i can't, i'm not allowed..is that all you got?man: yescashier: well, i'm not allowed to cash it (very snarky) i just cashed one and i don't have enough cash in my till to give you change. is that all you got?

(is it just me, or are there little fault lines in her story?)man: yes...thats all i havecashier: (as she is punching in 50.00 on register and counting out change) well, i can't cash it, i don't have the money in my till...i'm not supposed to cash them, i just cashed one, 20, 40, 50...theres your change...just remember next time, we're not allowed to cash 50's and we don't do it....

um...ok?if you are going to lie, have a good story firsti worked in retail...i know you lie...i lied"yes, your book is on order" (when really we forgot)"i have the order right here in my hand" (when really we couldn't find anything that remotely looked like an order done for you and when we askif we can verify your name and number, thats why)"no, i'm sorry, that book is on backorder" (again, your book somehowslipped thru the "lost-special-order-black-hole")butto be fairwe also had people that THOUGHT (for dead certain fucking sure)that they HAD placed an order with uswhen in REALITY (unfortunately, it is hard to bring some peopleto that state of mind)they had only inquired about the book and had NOT placed an orderorbetter yethad ordered it at another bookstore but would swear on a stack of biblesthat they ordered it from our storeand that we were just incompetent(which we sometimes were, but damn, were we good liars....)