Tuesday, June 15, 2010

What a shitty weekend. I'll start with the worst news which happened on Friday but actually started Thursday night. Chloe and Kane were making their way up from the basement but, when Kane got to the stairs he didn't want to climb them. It was a baffling situation but after some treats and encouragement, Paul and I got him upstairs. The rest of the night was fine but in the morning Kane had a little trouble getting down the deck stairs and then he wouldn't come up. And this time there was no amount of treats or coaxing that would get him up. In the end, Paul had to walk him through the gate and in the side door. He struggled up the few steps leading into the kitchen and then wouldn't sit. We knew something was wrong and since Paul was leaving for work we'd have to take him to the emergency vet later on.What happened was worse than we could have imagined. Soon after Paul left I tried to get Kane to sit, but he wouldn't. I got really worried and started to massage and feel around his back legs and spine. He didn't cry out in pain or give any sign that he was uncomfortable. I kept trying to get him to sit and this time he did but, halfway down his legs gave out and his but hit the pillow. He sat for a few seconds and then laid down. I scratched behind his ears, told him he was a good boy and started folding the laundry.The two dogs slept side by side for hours, which is very normal. At 6:00pm the neighbour came home and that's the exact moment I knew something was very wrong. Both dogs perked up and started barking but, it was only Chloe that ran for the door. I went to Kane and spent the next 10 - 15 minutes trying to get him to stand, but of course he wouldn't. When I tried to move his back legs, it was just dead weight. It really freaked my out and I didn't know what to do. Paul called just then, wanting to know how Kane was doing. I explained everything and he got really worried too. I spent most of the evening on the floor with Kane but eventually got up to eat. I had only been gone for 10 minutes before he started whining. I tried feeding him his food but he wouldn't take it. I thought maybe he was tired of lying on that side so I got some treats and tried to get him to sit up. He did, but you could see it was a major struggle. I helped keep him steady and quickly shifted his back legs so he could lie on the other side of his body. He was calm until I finished dinner and then started to whine again. Paul was going to be home in 1.5 hours so I went back to the floor. I put his head in my lap and was scratching behind his ears. I gave him belly rubs and was talking to him most of the time. When Paul got home he looked Kane over and, as quickly as possible, got Kane into the backseat of the truck. We drove to the vet in brampton and hoped for the best. No such luck.After a physical exam, a shot of morphine and x-rays, the vet told us the bad news. For some reason, the disc in one of Kane's vertebrae had moved out of place and it was pinching his spinal cord. Until this was corrected, he wouldn't have the use of his legs and even then, there was no guarantee that is was correctable. The three available options for us were:1-Keep him on a mild dose of morphine. Confine him to a crate for 6-8 weeks so as not to disturb his vertebrae and hope the disc would go back. The problem with this was that he would be soiling his crate, and it was unlikely he would get better.2-Have an MRI done to determine the exact reason behind the disc moving out and then operate to place it back in. There was also no guarantee that this would make things better and of course it would cost us anywhere between $5000 - $15000. That was money we didn't have.3-Relieve his suffering and put him down.I can tell you it wasn't an easy decision and because we were expecting our lil' bean at any moment, we really didn't have a choice. Sadly, Kane died on June 12 at 2:30am. As sad as it was, Paul & I knew it was the best we could have done for him.

And since this post is already so long I'll just make note of the other things that have happened.

I went to the Safety Superstore to buy my stroller but apparently the kiwi colour is a special order. So now my Peg Perego Pliko P3 is on it's way.

To keep our minds off of Kane's death, we went out to car dealerships to visually look at the SUV's we'd been searching on-line. It was fun and daunting at the same time. The good thing about it is that I think we've settled on buying a Honda CR-V.

The nursery is finally complete. Paul finished painting the doors and they have been hung. Everything looks really great.I've started to have more back pain and it may be because the lil' bean is dropping more. Other than that, I'm still feeling pretty good. Getting a little impatient but what can I do. He'll come when he's ready.

And at 40 weeks there's not much to report about. My lil' bean should weigh about 7.5 pounds, the size of a small pumpkin. And he should be approximately 20 inches long. I'll just have to sit back and be patient.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Almost there! I can't believe I'm going to be a mommy soon. I thought I'd be a little nervous or anxious this close to my due date but I'm actually quite relaxed. I'm sure not being at work has lots to do with it! I think most people would rather keep their minds on work at a time like this but not me. I'm actually happy thinking about what loose ends I can tie up at home. And there really isn't much. Not anything too important anyways. The nursery is finished but Paul still needs to paint and hang the doors. I did all the laundry for the lil' bean this week and put it all away. He's got a great variety of sizes and I guess I'll just buy more as I need it. I've got his bag all packed and I started working on mine. I've got some lists from the midwives that I'll have to review but the most important stuff is ready to go.

This week at my midwife appointment I got two pieces of good news. The first is that I'm GBS negative! Woohoo. I was hoping for no IV and so far so good. The second is that my lil' bean is engaged. Now I know that he could be this way for a while, but it still means that he's getting ready for the big day. Otherwise, all things are normal and looking good. What else could I ask for at this time?

I also picked up my carrier this week. I had been looking at a few different styles and Paul & I decided on a BabyHawk. It's great and I hope we get good use out of it. I'm planning on using it for the first little while instead of a stroller. Not to mention that baby wearing is supposed to be a great thing for your infant. If you'd like to hear more about it you can listen to, or watch this PregTASTIC episode.This week my lil' bean is probably 20 inches long and weighs a little over 7 pounds, about the size of a mini watermelon. There's not much to report other than he's still growing and the top layer of skin is sloughing off as new skin forms underneath. The dead skin will be swallowed and become part of the meconium building in his bowels. One more week to go!

Friday, June 4, 2010

This has been another good week, in many different ways. I'll start with work and the "surprise" baby shower. A few weeks ago I found out that Gail had put together a small baby shower for me. I wasn't expecting anything fancy, and it was simple. What I didn't expect was how generous everyone was. I thought I'd receive a few small gifts but instead I got a gift card with a substantial balance. Not to mention a delicious cake. Of the 6 years I've been working at SGS, I have been the only pregnant employee. And I've been one of three who have had children. I wasn't expecting so much and really appreciated what they did for me.

The day after that was my last day of work. I was supposed to go back for another week but since my feet were swelling so much I decided to start my vacation a week sooner than planned. It wasn't a problem with HR and was such a relief for me. My last day was uneventful, boring and ended at 10pm instead of 11:30pm. It was kind of surreal, having to clean out my locker knowing that I wasn't going to be back for a whole year. After I drove away from the building, things really started to settle in. It wasn't a bad thing at all but only different. It didn't feel like an ending, but more like someone hit a giant pause button in my life. It didn't take me long to get back to normal though. By the time I got home, I was feeling happy, and quite elated.

I started my first two weeks of vacation by celebrating Damien's 30th birthday. His wife, Karan held a surprise party for him now because they're going to be in BC for his actual birthday. It had been a while since we had all hung out and was a welcoming change. The day was nice & sunny but not too hot and the food was great. It was a great way to spend my Saturday afternoon.

Then on Sunday was my baby shower. Another day of festivities with good food and great people. It was fun seeing all the kids playing together and I couldn't help but think that my lil' bean would become part of it soon. I also received so many gifts that it took me a few days to organize it all. I'm well equipped and have tones of laundry to do! Not to worry though, I had lots of time to catch up since I didn't have to go back to work on Monday. It was great. I got up late and made coffee for Paul & I. After Paul left for work I sat down in front of the TV (with my feet up) and watched a few episodes of Gilmore Girls. That's right...I said it. I'm addicted to Gilmore Girls. After that I had a nap then had an early dinner or late lunch, which ever suits you better. Thought about laundry but didn't do it. Read for a while and before I knew it Paul was home. I know everyday won't be like this but I'm still lovin' the time off.I bet my lil' bean is lovin' it too. All this relaxing is great and what's good for mama is good for baby. Right now he's about as long as a leek - 19.5 inches, and should weigh just under 7 pounds. My little man is growing quickly and I can feel it! There's not much else to report as he is fully formed and full term.

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About Me

I'm a working mom of two imaginative, affectionate, talkative, absolutely wonderful kids who always seem to amaze me.
There's a constant balancing act between work and home that I'm sure I will never master but...I try to live in the moment and remember that life is what you make of it.