Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Boy, Lady Mreally brought it last night. It only took 7 1/2 years and untold billions of dollars – butt behold, a FLOTUS who’s ready for prime time.

Dress, age appropriate; voice, toned down (sorry, pretty sure that’s a sexist microaggression of some sort). And I think she’s been taking speech lessons from Hillary’s voice coach. Unfortunately, even with the coaching, she still schtruggled a little with those pesky “st” words like “schtronger,” “schtrength,” and “shtriving:” butt bless her heart, she tried.

“We cannot afford to be tired or frush-trated or cynical.”

All while managing to keep race front and foremost - because we all know that’s even more important than having a vagina:

“That is the story of this country, the story that has brought me to this stage tonight, the story of generations of people who felt the lash of bondage, the shame of servitude, the sting of segregation, but who kept on striving and hoping and doing what needed to be done so that today I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves. And I watch my daughters, two beautiful, intelligent, black young women playing with their dogs on the White House lawn.

And last night was all about the children, because terrorism, trade imbalances and the economy are really Republican issues Problems:

I want a president who will teach our children that everyone in this country matters. [ed. that shounds dangerously close to “All Lives Matter” – which we now know is not true.] A president who truly believes in the vision that our founders out forth all those years ago, that we are all created equal, each a beloved part of the great American story. And when a crisis hits, we don't turn against each other. No, we listen to each other, we lean on each other. Because we are always schtronger together.

Because you see, now that Obama is passing the torch to the first female president, it’s all about the children, again:

You see, Hillary understands that the president is about one thing and one thing only, it’s about leaving something better for our kids.

Something like this?

Yep, if we elect Hillary she’ll wake up everyday in a house built by slaves too.