You Don't Know How it Feels

A new drama which offers an honest and daring look at a student who is sexually assaulted by her teacher. Part of the 2018 Dream Up Festival. More…

Dena and her friends love Mr. McCoe, he is the coolest. After Dena’s sister dies, he listens, helps her bring up her grades and prepare to try out for the basketball team. He then manipulates the power dynamic so that her family, friends, teachers, and school administration are not aware of the dark turn their relationship takes. A forthright and caring exploration of a young woman’s story reminding us how important it is to pay attention.

This play contains sexual violence, assault and abuse. It is not suitable for children under the age of sixteen.

See it if
you’re wondering how power and abuse get interconnected; you want to see what kinds of clues to look for when someone is being abused

Don't see it if
heavy-handed, repetitive scripting irks you; loud sounds and long pauses bother you; odd sound and light design takes you out of the story

Also
It’s unfortunate that the script is too long and too on the nose since this is a very important story to be told. Being a middle school educator, I very much hoped for a story which highlighted the subtle ways emotional and physical abuse could happen and this play hits the viewer over the head over and over with an over the top experience. And the solution came through a fairly passive means instead of offering possible suggestions for the audience of how to help. I admire the actors for such strong portrayals of difficult material, especially the actors playing the students. They carried a show which would have otherwise fallen apart.... Read moreRead less

See it if
You want to support theatre that examines important and relevant issues, in this case sexual abuse.

Don't see it if
You are looking for a nuanced, and dramaturgically sound treatment of sexual abuse between an authority figure and a child.

Also
"the play you're going to be watching tonight is a realistic look at what happens to someone who is a victim of abuse and sexual assault." -Kelley Blessing.

Sexual abuse is real and present. The stats are right there in the program bio.

it is odd then, that this play chooses to portray only the most sensational form of sexual abuse. And in fact, the sensationalism extends beyond that.

SPOILER ALERT

It is mentioned that four students have died in a suicide pact as the result of the abusers actions. A four way teenage suicide pact? That's... pretty extreme. Definitely an outlier. As is the kind of overt abuse that is depicted throughout YDKHIT. The violence, sexual and otherwise, is so over the top that it feels more like a Hollywood film than a serious look at sexual abuse.

Jadalee Vega and Gabriel Morales, as Deena and Mr. McCoe respectively, are riveting.

But the script sometimes moves in circles. neither forward o backwards and the sound/lighting design are perplexing.... Read moreRead less

See it if
Want to see a well-written play of a student who experiences sexual abuse and loss of self and see the antagonist gets his karma.

Don't see it if
you cannot handle the truth behind this depiction of this one student's story.

Also
Here's the breakdown. the actors all did a stellar job with their lines drawing out various conflicting emotions. what got me most was how McCoe can play good teacher/to perverse one. excellent writing .the music was spot on in mood setting for the upcoming scenes regarding Dena's and McCoe's interaction. the lighting provided the intensity of depicting the psychological effects. all in all, a play that speaks truth, that i know, can create a message to those who know exactly how it feels.... Read moreRead less

See it if
you are not afraid to be confronted by the dangers of sexual abuse in schools.

Don't see it if
you want a variety of perspectives on this topic-this tells one character's story, not several.

Also
"You Don't Know How it Feels" is a good, solid show that tells the story of Dena, a young woman who is being abused by her teacher. It is well written and provides interesting insight into this growing and dangerous problem. The play is a bit on the long side, and would do well with an intermission, and perhaps a quicker pace in some scenes. That being said, it is a very solid show, well written, well acted and very well directed. It is not a feel-good show, you will leave the theatre feeling strong emotions, and uncomfortable. But that, I think, is the aim of the show. To make you think about this terrible topic, and to also make you think about ways we can prevent more tragedies like Dena's in our communities and in our country.... Read moreRead less

See it if
You are not afraid to examine your own feelings about an incredibly difficult topic. You are interested in watching new works grow.

Don't see it if
You are looking for something fast paced, or easy to watch. This is not a therapy session and it only tells one story about abuse.

Also
Festivals are a difficult way to present a full-length piece, this one can use some tightening up and definitely an intermission. It is clear that the emotionally challenging work has been done, but possibly a few extra run-throughs would have benefited the cast and crew. I applaud Darknight Productions for shining a light on this topic, I applaud the creative team for their courage. I will be very interested to see what future productions look like, especially in a fully realized show, not constrained by the time and technical constraints a festival forces on a company. That being said TNC is a GREAT venue and it is really nice to see they are giving opportunities to so many new plays that may otherwise get a full production.... Read moreRead less