He once said that he and his brother were well into their teens before realizing their names weren't Dammit and Jesus Christ.

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It was because of my father that from the ages of seven to fifteen, I thought that my name was Jesus Christ and my brother, Russell, thought that his name was Dammit. "Dammit, will you stop all that noise?" And, "Jesus Christ, sit down!" One day, I'm out playing in the rain, and my father yelled, "Dammit will you get back in here!" I said, "Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!"

Yes, he was in his prime there. I'm reminded of what Chappelle said about that period.

Quote:

...was just the greatest comic live. And all that time, during all that...

...he was raping the shit outta some motherfuckers. I mean god damn!!!

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Which means I have to complete my mid-year performance self-review - which is fucking bullshit. I never know what to write. The software itself is clunky and unintuitive - the way they phrase the section headings and explanations are an exercise in corporate nonsense. They keep fucking changing the goalposts on what exactly they want us to do, so half the frikkin goals set at the start of the year are now obsolete or we just don't have the individual figures for it.

the free form goals are worse - because you have to try and think in their fucking language.

So - there's the 'What' section where you talk about what you've done - examples of things you think reflect well, and which demonstrate the company goals and aspirations (all very woolly, like 'shout out and make it better', 'love simplicity' and 'better every day') and then there's the 'How' section, where you talk about how you approach things, how you've achieved things, what you've done to demonstrate some other goals and aspirations.

One day, I would like to answer as follows:

What?
..... I did my job

How?
..... To the best of my ability.

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Quote:

There's only so much punishment a man can take in pursuit of punani. - Sundae

My sister has fucked up the sale of my Dads farm with her greedy bullshit. We had a buyer and everything was set to go, and she doubles the asking price for her section of the property. And this is what killed the deal. Her bullshit has cost me over 100K, and I'm way pissed off.

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Annoy the ones that ignore you!!!
I live a blessed life
I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!!
Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

Those self evaluations are just to make the bosses job easier. Gives them someplace to start. They hate evaluations as much as you do. Although they have books that they can refer to that will give them sentences to plug in. They flip through the books looking for snippets that look right.

Which means I have to complete my mid-year performance self-review - which is fucking bullshit. I never know what to write. The software itself is clunky and unintuitive - the way they phrase the section headings and explanations are an exercise in corporate nonsense. They keep fucking changing the goalposts on what exactly they want us to do, so half the frikkin goals set at the start of the year are now obsolete or we just don't have the individual figures for it.

Do you know if any of these reviews are actually read?
Or are they filed as evidence to be used against you at some unspecified point in the future?

At one place I worked each department had to submit stats etc every week and a combined report was produced for all to see.
Nobody seemed to notice that in the summary there were arithmetical errors so big you could drive a coach and horses through them.

Some take it very seriously, which is why I need to do it - my bonus and level of pay rise relies on my performance rating. Some don't bother reading it at all.

I wouldn't mind so much if it was based on something concrete and if they gave us a decent amount of time to do it. And if it was genuinely helpful in terms of development.

They do the typical corporate thing of taking something that has a good amount of research underpinning it - using targets and measurable goals as a means to improve productivity and morale, encouraging self-reflection and a sense of personal autonomy etc etc - and then they put it through the corporate mincing machine until it is almost unrecognisable. The goals are too opaque - you can do a really good job, work incredibly hard and be very conscientious and end up with a rating that feels like an insult, mainly because of how it is presented and used. Like, you get a rating of 'performing' which sounds like you are coasting along, just about doing your job - when you read the description it of that rating, it sounds like a really good employee, who does a good job, works hard, is conscientious - and ends up with a bonus worth very little. You read the description of what you have to do for the next rating up and it sounds almost unattainable. The whole thing serves instead to reduce morale and encourage an unhealthy obsession with ratings, and people feeling unappreciated and defeated before they start, thereby increasing stress levels.

I don't really want to engage in the game. I see people emailing round for feedback, and 'shouting out' on Yammer - all of which people then put into their document to justify why they should have a halfway decent payrise.

I don't think I should have to be employee of the year to warrant a payrise above 1.45%

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Quote:

There's only so much punishment a man can take in pursuit of punani. - Sundae