Saturday, July 18, 2015

you are the work you leave behind

I like talking to Dheeraj. For one, I talk more than I listen and since చెప్పేవాడికి వినేవాడు లోకువ, I guess, I talk a lot of stuff that doesn't make any sense and still expect to have an audience. And two, I feel deeply about advising him because he's a few years younger and I want him to walk the path I wish I had back then. I'm not sure about the first but the second reason is an exercise in futility. Somewhere in the back of my head I know he needn't and won't listen to me, just like I didn't when others told me at that age. It is the old who are deluded, the young are fiery with righteousness. Yet, I suppose, I like talking to him just as I like talking to others because my own words, when directed at others, take different shapes and come back to me through different routes and force me to scrutinize them.

Today we spoke about MAP. I told him that if he has to choose between a job he likes and a workplace with smarter/ interesting people, he should choose the latter. I told him that all formal training modes are humbug and the only way to learn is to pick up jobs and get them done. And I guess we concurred together that every idea that comes out of our head is not art and that shaping it in a certain way is the key ingredient. We also spoke about Rahman, genius and how newer educational methods are messing up with our kids' heads by telling them that all are talented and special, when they fuckin' aren't. True Genius, or just Genius, since that's the only kind there is, is truly beyond the comprehension of mortals and beyond the grasp of training. It is special and rare. He raved about Meheranna's blog and we gushed over జానకితో జనాంతికం. He spoke about Mulaaqat and Nanga, and I advocated Screenwriting Principles picked up from the lectures of Aaron Sorkin and Charlie Kaufman. We also wished we had the talent of Anurag Kashyap but looked like Imtiaz Ali.

And then I told him what I thought I'd never tell anyone. I told him to take life seriously. That words are nothing but air, just like fart; And that no matter what you say, it is the work you do that will eventually matter, ever. I told him about Malcolm Gladwell's theory about Quality being a Probabilistic Function of Quantity and that he should stop looking back at what he'd done or wanted to do and look forward to what he ought and wants to do. I told him to take up a job and that the best way of knowing yourself is to be at the receiving end of a spiteful, demeaning talk from your boss which will make you feel like an idiot and a fool. And an ignoramus. ( Idiot and Fool are most probably wrong but Ignorant is not ). And that humility is the trait of a confident person and it is fear that makes us self-conceited. I also told him to keep reading, to keep expanding, to keep evolving, to stop doing things he didn't really care about and to take up things that he'd give his 100% to. And that the only reason we don't like something is because of our ineptitude at doing it ourselves. ( స్నేహితులు నీకున్న ఇష్టాలే, శత్రువులు నీలోని లోపాలే ).

Thank you Dheeraj for making me say what I had to hear. The work we do is what we have and that's the only thing that can lead us to Moksha. Everything else is just fantasy. This is my life and it's ending one wishful daydream at a time.