The Surprisingly Good Thing About Selfish Lovers

A new study from Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Vancouver suggests that selfish lovers are actually pretty good in bed. Better even than lovers who focus on their partners’ needs. Say what?!

A recent article from Limelife reports that when conducting research for their study, "Emerging Adulthood: An Age of Sexual Experimentation or Sexual Self-Focus?", graduate students and professors from Kwantlen Polytechnic University suspected that individuals who placed their partners’ needs above their own would make better lovers. Interestingly, they discovered quite the opposite. When an individual makes his or her needs the top priority, their partner reported having a more fulfilling sex life.

After their initial surprise, the researchers determined that selfish lovers actually made sex more enjoyable for their partners because more often than not, the self-centered paramours had sex because they really wanted to. “We found that as a partner’s sexual self-focus decreased, their partner’s satisfaction decreased,” one researched explained to The Vancouver Sun. Those who had sex out of habit (i.e. couples who have sex at a scheduled time every week) or those who had sex while focusing solely on their partners needs were not as engaged as their self-centered counterparts. So while people who are determined to get what they want in the bedroom might seem selfish, their egocentric behaviors might have surprisingly pleasurable side effects for their partners.

What do you make of this new study? Have you ever been with a selfish lover? Was the sex actually pretty good? Do you think you’re a selfish lover?