[GW2] Stereotypical Guilds in Five Acts

I, Norman the Wary, have cataloged some of the many guilds of Tyria in interviewing so many of the races. I have done my best to transcribe the, shall we say, intricacies of each race as I learned and sought to find a guild of my own.

The Charr

My guild, meat? Are you looking to join us? Well you can’t. Plain and simple. My guild is my warband, and my warband is my guild. We cut our teeth toegther; we will die together. That’s why you can’t join. You haven’t known us for the better part of a decade. We don’t allow outsiders, and our focus and dedication is to the guild. We are going to be the best guild on the field because of it.

You did not see Triok speaking with another guild! No, he would never defect even if they explore more dungeons. It doesn’t matter that he’s allowed to join another guild. He’s not allowed with us. We’re too close for that bull skritt. Go away, meat, I have a Triok to deal with.

The Norn

So, you want to join our guild, huh? Good, the more the merrier. Bring me another drink so we can celebrate you and those other five guys in the guild. Here’s to you six more! Naw, I don’t know how big our guild is. It just is. We’re here just to have fun. Exclusivity? Exclusivity of what? You can be in as many guilds as you want.

Look, our guild is based on ancient norn tradition of “do what you want.” It’s a good tradition too! Norn a plenty, I say. Sure, there are penalties. If you pee in my cask of ale, I probably break your legs and might kick you out of the guild. I don’t know though, some guild drama let’s me sit back and eat this new asura snack. Something like ‘Popp’s butter-injected density-modified kernels.’ There’s probably a few other words I’m missing. So, anyway, I might just break your legs.

The Sylvari

What is a guild? “Guild” is a word. Like “love.” A way of saying “these are the people I play with.” I do not resent the people outside my guilds – I am grateful that they too are part of Tyria. We are all here together, and that is a gift.

You’ve never heard of a sylvari speak of “love”? Oh, “guilds.” No, it is just a word. What matters is the connection the word implies. I see you wearing guild colors. Can you tell me what you would give to hold on to that connection? Then perhaps the reason you’re here is not so different from the reason I’m here. Perhaps we will start a guild too then.

The Humans

This guild here is based out of Queensdale County. We’re good farm folk and bandit-killers. No, that’s the Queen’s Reach Gate guild. They’re located at a different tavern. Look, I don’t mean to be rude, I mean you can join our guild if you want. I just don’t think you’ll understand the nature of our guild. We have deeper roots than just, going to the Mists to beat back the Sparkfly Swamp boys.

It’s just, I don’t know you, and even though I don’t really know Bynn the Breaker over there neither. I know her stock. I know that she knows the taste of Queensdale pork shoulder smoked with Queensdale apple wood. That means a lot around here. Each year we head to a tavern in the Mists for a meet and greet. Like I said, just because I don’t know you, don’t mean I don’t know you. Not, you, I mean… Bynn over there.

The Asura

Why are you wasting my time? Asuran archives already has volumes on the guilds of the lesser races and the mighty asura. What do I think? Well, you’re right, the volumes are probably a bit off from what’s true. Asura build guilds for purpose. It is purpose that binds us; purpose that drives us. For without purpose, our guilds would not exist. No, I am not angry. You stop talking in your angry voice!

Anyway, do the job is what we say. I don’t care about Glikk over there any more than I care about you. I know that he will do what it takes to get the perfect ioniclear crystal amplifier off of some ancient desert king’s grave. and I got his back for it. There is no other connection. When we are done, we part ways.

–Norman the Wary

(This post is for the GuildMag Blog Carnival 2. Be sure to check out all the other entries! I will update this post with the Blog Carnival 2 link when it goes up. –Rav)