This report claims she's undergoing "intense" Scientology auditing sessions and a source says, "This is exactly what happened just before she got pregnant with Suri." I guess her uterus needs to be clear or something, and there's probably a $5,500 E-meter involved. Holy Xenu, the gossip mags are going to be all over this. [Page Six]

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis will star in a film together! In The American Dream, Johnny says: "Vanessa plays the French feminist Simone de Beauvoir and I play her lover Nelson Algren, who is real macho." Awesome. [Daily Express]

Not only does Conan O'Brien have a Twitter account, his beard, his freckles, his monkey and his Sharpie are also Tweeting. [LA Times]

At the NAACP awards, Precious director Lee Daniels said, "No one in Hollywood told me they wanted to see a movie about a 350-pound black girl who had HIV." He was referring to the character, not actress Gabby Sidibe, but still tried to correct himself: "She's not 350 pounds. ... Gabby... But the book says…" In any case, Gabby went to a Vanity Fair event last week and a photographer says: "She was wearing a casual top and jeans, and was walking the red carpet like she was in a full gown. I've never seen her more confident and glowing." [Gatecrasher]

Gabby Sidibe says she is taking her mother as her date to the Oscars. And she also says: "I get to make friends with people who happen to be celebrities… I'm just a girl. I'm just lucky." [ET]

Best Supporting Actress nominee Maggie Gyllenhaal says she is looking forward to the Oscars — "the whole thing, all the parties. I know it's crazy, but why not?" She also says that Best Supporting Actress nominee Mo'Nique is "the one person I really wanted to meet, but she didn't come to the Nominees Luncheon." [Showbiz 411]

Was there a cover-up in Michael Jackson's death — involving a hidden bottle of Propofol? [TMZ]

Alec Baldwin was planning on being a lawyer before he became an actor but says his three brothers would not have followed him into the law: "I'd probably be representing them right now. But I do think they saw me acting and thought, 'If he can do it, we can do it.' More accurately, maybe it would be, 'if Shithead can do it, we can do it.'" [Gatecrasher]

In the new Vanity Fair, Michael Douglas says that his father, Kirk Douglas, was too busy with his career to be a hands-on father — and Michael admits he made the same mistake with his son, Cameron, who is now in prison on a federal drug conviction. "My priorities were very similar," Michael says. "Career first." [Page Six]

There was supposed to be a Brady Bunch reunion on the Today show this week, but Marcia and Jan are feuding! [Radar Online]

Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn has landed a role on her favorite TV show, Law & Order, as a jury foreman. But she says she "totally would have played a corpse" just to be on the show. [TV Guide]

Quinton Aaron, who is Sandra Bullock's The Blind Side costar, is probably hoping that she wins an Oscar: "I've been a fan of hers for years – I was in love with her for years!" he says. "I found out she was married and I was like, 'Okay, I'll settle for friendship.' She's the most caring, loving individual that I know. She's one of the most beautiful women inside and out that anybody can have the pleasure of knowing, meeting and working with, and I felt so honored to be in that position." [People]

Pamela Anderson has sent a letter to Canada's prime minister, asking him to end the country's annual seal hunt, which she calls "an embarrassment to Canada." [MSNBC via AP]

Last Thursday, Jude Law met with Samantha Burke for the first time since she gave birth to his child, who is now five months old. The two sat down with lawyers to arrange child support payments for baby Sophia over the next 18 years. [Daily Mail, The Sun]

Writer/director Jason Reitman says he wanted Vera Farmiga for Up In The Air because: "I needed a woman, not a girl. You have to walk that fine line of being a career woman who is tough but sensual and sexy and could never be accused of whoring herself around, There's so many wrong instincts, to play it either bitchy or play it as a man. Alex is a woman who knows what she wants and has no fear and no embarrassment — and Vera killed it." [USA Today]

Speaking of Up In The Air, Anna Kendrick is planning on taking her mother and brother to the Oscars. "My mom wants to meet George Clooney," she says. [E!]

Sharon Osbourne wrote an editorial about fame for the Daily Mail in which she claimed that "children leaving school today no longer want to be doctors or lawyers or architects. All I ever hear is ‘I wanna be famous', or ' I wanna be a celeb.'" She also wrote: "Just as power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, so fame corrupts and megastardom can destroy." [Access Hollywood]

How will the prison system keep Lil Wayne safe while he's behind bars? [George Michael played a show in Sydney and then had drinks with locals instead of going to a VIP party. [News.com.au]

Oh! Here's one of the skits, in which The Situation, Pauly D and Ronnie reenact a "scene" from The Hurt Locker. [TMZ]

"Britain's Prince Harry is being considered as an Apache attack helicopter pilot, despite once saying he didn't have the 'brain capacity' for it, sources say." [UPI]

"I believe what we are, is people who deserve an apology," Evi Quaid says, in regards to her and husband Randy Quaid being arrested last year for not paying a hotel bill. "Bad things can happen to good people when things spiral out of control." [Reuters]

Carly Simon wants you to know that "You're So Vain" is not about David Geffen, even though that's what some Brit papers reported. [Showbiz 411]

"How Matt Lucas learnt to laugh again (and lost three stone) after ex-partner's suicide."[Daily Mail]

Sad: Guru of the '80s/'90s hip-hop group Gang Starr is in a coma. [ONTD]

"When making this record, I had the feeling of being a little kid coming home from church. I was in my tight, scratchy sailor dress and my tight, scratchy patent leather shoes. It was the feeling of tearing it all off and running around outside in my underwear. This album is me running around in my underwear, more or less." — Joanna Newsom. [Time]

"I've done a lot of hard work recently and I admit that after a burst of intense creativity I've got a bit of wanderlust. I've still got the bike and it's now got a sidecar on it, so I'll take my dog Sid along with me this time. I want to have our summer holidays as a family and then I'd like to get going. It would be a fantastic thing to do. It'll be good to get my leathers and my goggles on again." — Ewan McGregor is planning to take another long motorcycle trip; in 2004 he spent four months traveling from London to New York. [Daily Express]

"You can't love someone else to change them. Happiness comes from accepting who they are. It is our decision to REALLY know who we love." — Jessica Simpson. [ET]

My new [tattoo] says 'Never a failure, always a lesson,' and is kind of my mantra to life, just a reminder. My life is juts a crazy rollercoaster every day and whenever I read that it just reassures me." — Rihanna. [The Sun]

"No one believes me when I talk about this, but I'm really maternal. I worry that because I've always wanted kids so much, as the world goes sometimes, I won't be able to have them — even though I would be able to provide them with such an amazing environment." — Megan Fox. [ONTD]