Vampire myth !

Most people who were sexually abused as children

do not go on to sexually abuse children !

Most people who sexually abuse children

were not sexually abused as children !

No evidence, research, data or statistics is ever provided to support the idea that most or all people who were sexually abused as children go on to sexually abuse children. When survivors challenge the "vampire syndrome" myth (once bitten by a vampire, you become a vampire - once abused, you become an abuser) we are asked to disprove it. As with all forms of bigotry the advocates of this lie are irrational and cannot intellectually justify their argument but instead promote fear and rely on victim blaming. This background has justified the failure to provide support and services for survivors, especially men, who are seen as more likely to abuse. We must say no to this hatred and demand proof for this commonly held falsehood, as there is none, and challenge its misconception.

Whenever scant data is put together it bundles all types of abuse together including neglect as well as physical and emotional abuse. For us there is a world of difference between, a neglected child who un-socialised or nurtured commits crimes as an adult which may include abuse, and adult survivors of child sexual abuse who are often struggling to cope with CPTSD and other mental health issues and in the face of a lack of help or services to support them can use drugs or alcohol and other addictions as a survival strategy.

Of course some people do go on to abuse but it is our belief that it is less than the general population and that being abused acts as a disincentive. It is true that some children copy normalised behaviour but this is often part of an abusive scenario. For most survivors we live in the shadow of suspicion and sometimes fear that we may undergo some transformation that will cause us to offend as we know it is not in our character but we are constantly told it is true. This creates a additional barrier to us breaking the silence and moving forward with our recovery. It is often only when we start to meet other survivors who have the same feelings that we realise we have been lied to, that is not who we are.

The METOO, MENTOO publicity gives us the opportunity to lay this lie were it belongs in the grave along with the fake vampires it replicates as fiction.

18,749 visits to this websiteThis is the number of men who have contacted this page. There are not enough services being provided to meet the needs of men looking for help. Therapy can take a year to access and is then limited to a few short months ! The NHS doesn't limit treatment for cancer or other serious illnesses by time but until people are well. We need the same for survivors.We need peer support groups supported by public funds and for the NHS to provide therapy to all who need it indefinitely. Unfortunately we are a long way from this. The attention refocused on the abuse of young men and boys through the football disclosures is an opportunity to campaign for survivors right to services. The IICSA needs to speed up recommendations, yes continue with the enquiry but mandatory reporting needs to be introduced now !