As the reality hits that we may be able to retire next year instead of five years, I lose my breath. The sheer logistics of emptying a house we've lived in for 35 years is overwhelming. exciting, but overwhelming. Going from a sticks and bricks house to 378 sq feet...wow.

But when I think of the ease of cleaning and the possibilities of where we might end up, I get excited all over again.

The only hindrance is my emotional state. I hate the thought of leaving my family behind. Yes, I know we can come back anytime. Kate is nearly a year old and she will go through so many changes in the next five years and I hate to miss them. My mom is aging and I hate the thought of not being able to ran down to her house and sit and chat. My sister has her hands full with her own family, but she's still my sister.

I'm hoping that mom will come and visit us, as well as Danny and his family. Our dream is to have Kate spend time with us in the summer as she grows older.

I'm finding that the ties we have to our community are a little more binding than I had thought. There are friends that I know I'll never lose contact with, but I will miss the closeness we have. I'll miss calling at the last minute to meet for coffee, or lunch. I'll miss giving back to my community and my volunteer work. I'll miss all the wonderful people I've been lucky enough to meet and get to know in the last 25 years.

But will I let this stop me? No way? This is our time - mine and Dave's. We've worked long and hard and now it's time for us and to do what we want to do. I'm looking forward to reinventing our marriage, as we start this journey together. I wouldn't want to make it with anyone else.

Now? Now we sit back and wait and see what TN retirement system has to tell us about our options.