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Monday, April 13, 2009

Anna & Her Gang

At least once a week there is this one particular elderly woman that I usually end up serving at the deli. Unlike some people, she never causes me any grief, so imagine how surprised (more like shocked) I was last week when I discovered that the old gal is not as innocent as she seems.

Manager: (who was standing beside me at the time, nudges me and whispers) Watch out for that old lady.

Manager: Not only that, she’s the leader of an entire gang of old folks who steal.

Me: (super duper stunned) WHAT??!!

Manager: It’s true.

Me: OMG, how many of them are there?

Manager: Including Anna, there are six.

Me: Anna?? You know her name?

Manager: Oh, yeah. Anna & her gang made the paper for stealing from one end of the city to the other.

Me: Seriously? They steal citywide?

Manager: Yup. They all come in together, but only one does the actual stealing because the rest are busy causing some sort of distraction so that everyone comes to the rescue of old folks in distress.

Me: (laughing) OMG, that is so crazy!! What the h*ll are they stealing?

Manager: Meat, cheese, milk… You name it, they steal it.

Me: (still laughing) Holy crap!

Manager: I can't believe you haven't seen them in the winter. Anna wears this big fur coat with inside pockets and she stashes meat in them.

Me: (practically on the floor laughing) Fur coat??!! Meat??!!

Manager: Yup, they really got a thing for meat.

Me: OMG, what do they do with it?

Manager: They go back to the retirement home and sell their stolen goods to the other old people… with a mark up.

Me: WHAT?? They do not!! No!!!

Manager: I'm totally serious.

Me: OMG, I have to ask my sister if she’s seen them in her store.

Manager: I wouldn't doubt it.

When I got home, the first thing I did was call up my sister to ask about Anna & her gang. Being the know-it-all that my sister is, I should have known that she’d heard about them long before I did.

Sister: Uh, yeah, stupid (oh, how she loves me), it’s the same bunch of old folks that steal from stores in our end of the city.

Me: Are you kidding me? They go all the way to where you are too?

Sister: Sure, they were here last week. They go from one end of the city to the other so they don't get caught.

Me: Holy sh*t!!

Sister: We know about them though, so our floor walkers (i.e. undercover security) stay right behind them all the time.

Me: But they're old people.

Sister: And they’re f**kin' evil! (OK, easy, girl) They resell what they steal to their old friends for double the cost.

Me: Geez, it's like a fu**ked up version of Robin Hood.

Sister: (laughing) Yeah, pretty much.

After I hung up the phone, I sat back & tried to make sense of it all. I mean, what the heck is going on? Could it be that Anna and her gang are so bored that they have to get their kicks by stealing? Are things so bad in their retirement home that they have to steal food & other items? I don't know what to think.

Looks like they are getting back what's theirs! So many were robbed by dodgy pension schemes etc! it also seems they get their kick out of it too I think o would prefer to be robbed by them old folk than a hoodie...

I think its fantastic! Here's a bunch of old people, who, for all we know have always been a little light-fingered, taking advantage of the fact that everyone thinks they're helpless and sweet because they're old!! Hahaha!! ;)

But seriously, who knows how much they have to get by on? After years of paying taxes, perhaps they live on a pittance? And if they can make a buck, I say all power to 'em! LOL!!

@Katie...hey little aussi what's wrong??? I would have loved, to have been around to make you laugh. Can't imagine, being anywhere else but sitting somewhere laughing at well you know who...stop pointing those gunnsss at me lady hahahhaha...!!!!

Keep your chin up my little kangroo. Remember, you’re not alone. There is always someone who cares and no stealing until your at least 70 or older ok my aussi love.

@Anna…….hhhahahahha, why wait till your old lets just go for it right now. We can replace old Anna with young Anna hahahah. This was a killer story, which I couldn’t pass up hahahah. Hope all is well with you Miss Anna and no stealing till you turn 70 lol.

@sneha...knitting needles as weapons hahahhahaha I would never have thought about that. Why knit or go for walks when you can get old people high's on stealing.

Imagine the trip they get out of rolling they're walkers out of the store and lololol at all of us. Knitting ha!!! stealing YESSSSS...God I love old people. Thanks for coming by and nice to hear from you. Take good care and watch out for those old people.

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