Haha, I was charting while in the distance 2 other nurses were discussing recipes’ for summer salad. I wrote ” cleansed with NS, patted dry with 2×2 gauze and covered with mango island dsg”. Was supposed to be “mini island dsg” lol

These are very funny!! One time while charting and chatting with my co-worker, details of our conversation ended up in my patient’s note. Nothing bad of course but thats what I get for chatting and charting at the same time.

Found one from a patient I got from ER once; “Patient good historian…unble to obtain good history, obtained from wife…patient is a widower” Where do I start?! I actually asked the Nurse giving me report how the seance (sic) went She laughed when I explained why!

Someone booked a case over the phone – Forekin lesions, It was actually 4 skin lesions. It was very confusing to the patient when the circulating nurse started to prep his groined with Betadine… Thank goodness the patient had a sense of humor!

Still a student but what was believed to be a voice to text recording by a doctor of Indian decent stated, “The patient was at home and choked on a hard dog.” He meant hot dog but needless to say it got a few laughs from my instructor, fellow students and I.

I was working as a midwife on a postnatal/ women’s surgical ward which occasionally was required to take male patients when the hospital was full. I wrote in a patient’s notes that the patient has been assisted to hand express and the expressed breast milk was finger fed to the baby. Except I wrote it in the notes of a patient who was an outlie- a 70 year old male.

Watched a student nurse try to put cervical traction around the patient’s hips.

Had a phlebotomist on 11-7 shift complain that she could only get a bare minimum of blood out of the patient and 7 tubes were ordered. I related to her that the patient had been dead for about three hours……she never came back to work.

We had one of those sayings about elderly who would take their medications other than as recommended. OFS meaning old fart’s syndrome. One of our cardiologist actually started to use it as an abbreviation .

Had a patient many years ago in MICU who had a GI bleed we just could not locate. So one of the Residents has the genius idea to squirt a roll of Kerlix with Factor VIII and stick it up the patient’s butt. I ask the doc when he plans to extract said Kerlix and he says ‘in a few days’. I said I was going to make sure I wasn’t around for that and he laughed and said he’d try to make sure I was. So two days later he comes in before I got to work (worked 1-11 PM) and then returned later that afternoon saying it was time to take out the Kerlix. You can only imagine how it smelled and he removes it, leaves the room, and closes the patient’s door to chart there at the nurses desk outside the room. I told him no way – if I had to smell it, HE had to smell it so I opened the door. By that time, the entire unit smelled like this 2 day old rectal insertion, so I went into the supply room to look for some air freshener. The only thing I could find was a can of stuff that had the scent of leather and I proceeded to spray it up and down the hallway of the MICU. An hour or so later, one of the nurses starting her shift at 3 PM walks in the unit, scrunched up her nose and said “oh my God, what is that stench? It smells like somebody sh*t on a saddle!”. I still laugh about that to this day,