Lindsay Lohan & Her Jean Shorts Are Falling Apart Before Our Eyes

You guys, Lindsay Lohan'sshorts are talking to me. They're saying, help. They're saying, I'm a wreck, I'm a disaster, I think I'm sexy, but I kinda just want someone to pick me up and put me back together. Which is to say, LiLo's shorts are a metaphor for her life. Try not to get swept away in my deepness here, but it's like my mom always says, messy clothes, messy life.

The actress is currently filming some racy movie called The Canyons and was photographed in West Hollywood wearing that menswear-inspired shirt, a black Birkin, some sort of distressed fedora, THOSE SHORTS, and black flats.

I'm all for jean cut-offs, have three pairs m'self, but these are walking a fine line between being a skirt, being a skort, and being one of those rags your dad keeps in the garage to wash the car, which he does exactly once every two years.

Before this tattered look, Linds was looking chic at Mr. Chow's in a long, blue dress with cut-outs. Her entire outfit was monochrome, but it worked. Lindsay's hair was in a sleek ponytail and her makeup was very natural. She looked pretty!

Then this happened. She doesn't not look pretty, but I'm just not feeling that car washing rag as an article of clothing. But if there's anything Lindsay knows how to do, it's how to get us talking, so in that case, point Lohan.

And if she ever wants to swap barely-there shorts, she can always call up Miley Cyrus. That girl's got a least 10 pairs.