Fat Head Crackers?

I’m almost embarrassed by the number of people in cyberspace who refer to Fat Head Pizza. Yeah, it’s a delicious low-carb pizza crust that tastes like real pizza crust, but I had nothing to do it. I didn’t even write the post with the recipe. The Older Brother’s Oldest Son wrote it up after modifying a recipe he found at Cooky’s Creations, then the Older Brother posted it.

That post (which you can view here if you missed it) still draws views and comments — 359 of them at last count. It may be the most-viewed post on the entire blog … and like I said, I didn’t even write it.

Now Fat Head Pizza has re-purposed as Fat Head Crackers. My embarrassment continues. If I keep getting credit for things I didn’t create, I’ll have to start hanging out with Al Gore.

Anyway, the crackers version of the pizza crust appeared here on a recipe (and other stuff) site called Ditch The Carbs. When I was alerted to the crackers, I went to the site and poked around. There are lots of excellent no-sugar, no-grain recipes there (not attributed to Fat Head), so I thought I’d mention it.

And now, since it’s 66 degrees outside (a mere week after we were sledding down our back hill), I need to step outside for a round of disc golf. Enjoy your weekend.

59 thoughts on “Fat Head Crackers?”

I made a pizza last week in preparation for the snow storm and potential power outages. Not too many foods taste better than cold pizza. I have tried other recipes, but The Older Brother’s recipe wins out every time. Apologies to Dr. Davis and the Wheat Belly dough mix they sell prepackaged…it doesn’t stack up.

I’ve been looking for a cracker recipe. Jimmy Moore’s keto ranch salad dressing is a great dip, and there are low carb jams and jellies out there that can be snuck into a lchf lifestyle.

To follow up…it seems to me that if you make the crust accordingly and stop there (don’t add sauce and toppings) the cutting up the crust after cooling would be a pretty good alternative to panini bread.

It helps you ignore that sometimes a visionary provides a great outcome.
Helps you ignore the fact that government can do good things.
Helps you ignore the fact that you – King of the Fat-head domain – owe a lot to the internet.

And I do enjoy the pizza and I will try the crackers.

Tom, we don’t come here to hear about your politics. You only reduce your audience with that claptrap.

I do owe a lot to the internet, but I’m reasonably sure Al Gore (hardly a visionary) didn’t invent it. I’m also reasonably sure if the internet hadn’t started as a defense project, it would have been invented anyway. Government didn’t invent the telegraph, the telephone, the semi-conductor, the television, the automobile or any of countless other inventions we all enjoy. Those were all invented by greedy capitalists.

The good thing government does — or is supposed to do — is protect life, liberty and property. Much of what our government does today restricts liberty and confiscates property. But enough about ObamaCare.

I made my opinions about government clear as a bell in Fat Head, and nobody reading this blog should be surprised by them.

And in case you’re unaware, Al Gore had a well-deserved reputation even among friendly journalists for tooting his own horn and claiming accomplishments that weren’t his to claim. The Letterman show (not exactly a bastion of right-wing thinking) even once had a Top Ten list titled “Top 10 Accomplishments claimed by Al Gore.”

I’m not remotely a fan of Al Gore, but as I recall, he said that he campaigned to get funding for internet expansion when it was still largely a government entity. He didn’t claim to invent it. As I understand it, he actually did do what he claimed he did, and it probably did help the internet along when it was still a long way from being a paying market.

But as long as we are complaining about Al Gore and the internet, I want to see Steve Wozniak get a big sparkly star in history right next to Steve Jobs, you know, for actually inventing the Apple computer.

Big airliners would probably have been invented anyway, but I suspect that the Boing B-29 advanced that day considerably. Now that isn’t necessarily an argument that we should go around inventing strategic bombers just to boost the airline industry, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Do you remember “Lethal Weapon” where Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) stopped on the side of the road to make a phone call with a portable phone? It was the size of a walkie talkie. Hard to believe that was 1987.

Actually I think the federal government in particular had a fair amount to do with it, not in the invention of the technology but in allocating the frequencies used into usable nationwide bands. When you turn on a cell phone it has a reasonably specific list of places to look to find the tower, and there are lots of other competing uses.

Frequency allocation is a little different from mineral rights. There is no such thing as discovering a vein of radio frequencies beneath your house. Deciding who owns them and who gets paid for their use strikes me as one of the more reasonable places for government to stick its nose.

Possibly, but you are assuming these things couldn’t be worked out otherwise. I suspect they could. But if government limits itself to protecting life, liberty and property, plus occasionally mediating frequency allocation, I can live with that.

The INTERNIC that hands out IP addresses started out as a private entity that now they are trying to put under UN control. That’s a system that bears some similarity to frequency allocation, and it’s worked so far, but I think if you hop on the net and start using an IP address allocated to someone else, that you can be stopped on the grounds that by signing up to connect to the internet, you are agreeing to participate within its bounds and there is usually a fair amount of agreement about just what the property rights are.

But what happens if some guy out of the blue just decides to start broadcasting on a local TV frequency? There has to be a means of deciding who does own the right to that frequency. The role for government here goes a bit further than serving as a court for enforcing contract law. You can’t enforce property rights until there is a codified definition of what they are.

Fire companies could be totally private too, and have been at one time, but I tend to think that we generally benefit from it being a function of local government.

Some libertarian activists the characters in The Moon is a Harsh Mistress were just too collectivist to suit them, but I’m not on board.

Actually in many rural areas Fire Companies are (more or less) private, well, not for profit cooperatives.

And granted it is messy, if you don’t pay your membership, they can’t and don’t put out the fire on your property. I do believe they make exceptions for saving human life, but that is the extent of it.

Basically think of it as not-for-profit fire insurance.

And the men and woman, mostly all volunteers go to great lengths for training, many completely on their own dime. A friend of mine is on of those individuals. He lives just North of Incorporated McKinney, TX.

I do keep seeing posts by LCHF enthusiasts who seem to think that the desirable endpoint is to seize the reins of the USDA and change the dietary guidelines to better ones, rather than perhaps getting government to back off on the hubris of telling us what to eat.

I’ve had to explain my position to a few of them. I’m not interested in replacing one group of The Anointed with another, even with a group that agrees with us. We simply don’t need the federal government telling people what to eat.

Yes, the government invented radio waves. No, wait — now I remember… People and organizations were starting to use various frequencies to broadcast on something of a “homestead” basis — the first to begin offering programs and broadcasting on a frequency “owned” the right to use that frequency.

The transmission range wasn’t particularly large, so multiple operations could use the same frequency given a reasonable geographic separation. As the technology developed and range increased, interference issues began. These were being worked out by the parties involved, but the government saw an opportunity, declared itself the owner of airwaves, thereby giving itself the capacity to sell air.

All this was done, of course, at the urging of “Big Tube,” who didn’t like having to deal with the bothersome small players in an actual market.

It’s ironic that you’re making a case for government owning, regulating, and selling bandwidth on a forum that exists on the internet — the entire existence of which is built on an international, non-profit organization’s system to allocate domain names — no?

History forgets about X.500 directory services and all the other work that was done in the universities that also helped to form the basis of what we all enjoy. People forget what RFC stands for and how the “internet” protocols came to be.

I did not participate directly with them in University, I was in the next lab over from some guys who did some cool stuff with X.500 and wound up doing well going into HTTP and such.

I will add, for the geeks out there, I do have a RFC, RFC 2090 to be exact. The first company to require the use of it was Microsoft, and the funny part was, when Microsoft adopted it, I was working for a direct competitor in the embedded space 😀

I always find this hilarious. Did you even watch the Fat Head documentary? It’s just as much about politics as nutrition. So yes, we do come here to hear about politics as well as health. And really, the vast majority of the Paleo/LCHF blogs I attend are always pushing more government involvement to solve health problems. I always find it ironic considering they also tend to constantly point out the abject failure of government policies having any real effect on health outcomes. Even this new Mexican soda tax that many blogs are hailing is not working. Sure, it predictably lowered soda consumption but a new study has found that Mexicans have just replaced soda with other high sugar drinks and that on average they have actually seen a net calorie increase. Tom, help me out here please. This site is intended to be about politics AND health right?

It’s intended to be primarily about diet and health, but since nanny-state government pushed the bad advice and bad policies that led to the mess we’re in, I’ll continue pounding on government as well.

It absolutely blows my mind when people who seem to understand how government screwed up the health advice think the solution is more government. Let’s try getting government the hell out of the diet and health business first.

Don’t worry about it. I’m thinking you can sell the recipe to Al Jazeera for about half a billion bucks. We can split it . Don’t have to mention it to The Oldest Son.

BTW, he said he had to buy some almond flour instead of whizzing up his own this weekend, and the store only had blanched, which is a finer texture. He was worried about it being too fine, so he subbed flaxseed for about a quarter cup of the almond flour and reports that it was the best pizza ever. Let the comments begin.

Just found this site, can’t tell you how sorry I am to be late to the party. We also consider AARP beneath our consideration, but our local Denny’s gives 15% off to veterans, active duty and first responders. And we don’t even have to pay a membership fee – oh, that’s right, we already did/do. Nice effort from our friends who let me make my own slams though! Planning to look into AMAC, thanks.

That’s definitely my favorite pizza recipe. I also am a big fan of the creamed spinach recipe you posted. Obviously you don’t post as many recipes as other sites but I always look forward to trying the ones you do post.

I’m so glad you like my “recipe (and other stuff)” website. I try to make sure readers get to see you and your clips when all they really want is pizza (or crackers as the case may be). You are a legend in the low carb world. Ideas/suggestions welcome for the next recipe title then can I come and hang out with you and Al Gore?

I certainly don’t worry about your anti-government cracks! I’m right there with you and I’m AARP age plus! I would like to know if the Older Brother’s Oldest Son used flax seed meal as a substitute for part of the almond flour or flax seed? I want to try that!

And yes, the crackers are also good. But I had already just converted the pizza crust to crackers. I rolled it out, cut it up into cracker pieces and flipped them over halfway through the baking time. Had to add a few minutes to turn them into crackers, but that worked fine and they were delicious! After all, they tasted like the pizza crust.

Keeping in mind that he always makes a double recipe, The Oldest Son reports that he used 1/4 cup of ground flax seed with 1 & 1/4 cup of store bought blanched almond flour, instead of all 1 & 1/2 cups being the almond flour.

At this point I think you are pretty much stuck. What else do you call it, Modified Cooky’s Creations Pizza? It needs a name, and Fat Head Pizza is pretty good. I would suggest putting a link to Cooky’s Creation in the first paragraph.

I refuse to make Fat Head pizza until you admit that Al Gore invented it and you stole the idea from him. Well, okay, the truth is I can’t make it right now because I’m all out of almond flour. Maybe I can borrow some from Al Gore.

The cracker idea was obvious to me after the first time I made the pizza crust. The cracker recipes I’ve tried aren’t worth the price of the ingredients (not that I’ve come anywhere close to trying all the low-carb cracker recipes on the internet).

I like to turn them crunchy by drying them out at 250F for 45 minutes or so…depending on the thickness. They’re strong enough to dip into my wife’s cheese ball which was my main goal. There ought to be time where I could just turn the oven off and let the temp. drift slowly down…but I’m afraid to try. I’m I big believer in “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.

I want to sub in some cheddar cheese and then try to make my own peanut butter crackers. Just haven’t taken the time to experiment.

Tom, Tom, Tom.. you have triggered so many here!! Love the fathead pizza as well as the chips! I think someone had the foresight to actually name this deliciousness after Algore.. Fathead fits him perfectly