“Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” by Bryan Adams

This song isn’t bad in the actively unpleasant way that, say, most of Michael Bolton’s songs are bad…it’s just so incredibly lackluster. Everything about it, from the dull, lifeless melody to the utterly uninspired lyrics to Bryan Adams’ energy-free performance that fails to turn his raspy voice into an asset like it was on most of his previous work, just screams that this song had no effort put into it at all. As a Rock power ballad, it’s surpassed by the strikingly similar but vastly more intense and musically interesting “November Rain” from around the same time, and as an Oscar Bait song, it was surpassed by its own parody, the surprisingly attractive “Marian” from Mel Brook’s Robin Hood: Men In Tights. That last fact should be enough to completely seal the deal on this song’s failure.