Valentine’s Day: Kind of a giant pain in the ass, no? Let us help you with that. Hot on the heels of this year’s Philebrity Awards — our most successful variety show yet — we’re teaming up with our pals at BITBY.TV and Underground Arts to bring you our first-ever Valentine’s Day Special, a complete evening of entertainment whether you’re single or spoken for. We’re kicking off at 9pm with the love-themed variety show portion. (And, by the way, we’re still looking for performers of the music/comedy/dance/ventriloquism/okay maybe not ventriloquism variety to round out the show: Email tips[at]philebrity[dot]com if you’re interested.) After that, we will be THE CITY’S FINEST DESTINATION FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL STYLE SLOW DANCING. There will be “Always & Forever!” There will be several ladies’ choice dances. There will be no chaperones! (We’ll also have some uptempo numbers, too, in the classic Motown style.) So this Valentine’s, let’s paraphrase Morrissey: There will be a club if you’d like to go, you could meet someone you really loves you. So here’s hoping that you go on your own, don’t leave on your own, don’t go home, don’t cry, and don’t want to die. We are on your side with this, young lovers!