Random thoughts from a few cantankerous American physicians. All contributors are board certified. Various specialties are represented here. I do not know where this will lead but hope it will at least be an enjoyable read. All of the names mentioned in this blog are pseudonyms, the ages have been changed, and in half the cases the gender as well. All photographs are published with patient consent or are digitally altered to preserve anonymity. Trust us, we're doctors.

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Sunday, June 17, 2007

A screaming madman was brought into bed 6 the other day. Even though we are used to screams in the E.D. this was different. This was not a schizophrenic man's scream, it was not a drunk man's scream, it was not a coked out man's scream ,it was the scream of a man with a live insect in his ear. It was the scream of torture.

He was working in the yard and a bug flew right into his ear. No shit. As soon as I heard what the problem was I ran to the pyxis and got some lidocaine with epi 1%. I ran into the guys room and shot the liquid into his ear, and, immediately, out crawled an unhappy beetle who was quickly squashed under my foot.

I'm beyond creeped out. Reminds me of stuff I saw in the Amazon. The doc on the medical team carved three bot fly larve out of a villager's chest. Research, schmeesearch...screw the new book. Get me home!

I'm just excited that a doctor has access to a pyxis! This could be the end of ...... "Nurse, please get me some......."

I just discovered your blog and added it to my favorites. I hope you don't mind.

I'm one of those people who gets excited when a patient has a good bowel movement because I know then and ONLY then will they stop saying....... "Oh my God, someone help me, I have to shit and it won't come out."

As you may have guessed, I'm an RN in the ER. Yes, I'm a little insane, but it's that insanity that keeps me sane.

Wow. Someone else who enjoys a gigantic volleyball sized dump in a bedside commode. It really does bring a sense of closure, and you can smell it all the way across the ED, so you know you treatment worked, even while seeing the next dump-in-waiting.

There was of course a group a group of bored residents that timed how long it took for roaches to die when exposed to various liquids. I think the conclusion was that mineral oil was the way to go since it killed them the fastest with the least squirming on the roaches part.