There’s a lot to love about the Die Hard 2 cast, including Williams Atherton and Sadler, John Ambrose and the general who I had no idea was Franco Nero until just now. However, Tim Curry and Rip Taylor. You simply cannot compete with that.

Point:Home Alone 2

_____________________________________

Directing

Home Alone 2: Chris Columbus (Adventures in Babysitting; Home Alone; Mrs. Doubtfire) decided that he would indeed like to own a fleet of jetbikes made out of solid gold, so he accepted the paycheck for this movie. Columbus has a whimsical style that’s perfectly suited for this type of material, even though it’s a bit darker in tone and color than the first film.

Die Hard 2: Renny Harlin (Cliffhanger; Cutthroat Island; Deep Blue Sea) is basically Brett Ratner’s long-haired uncle. He’s a semi-competent director of action films. He’s like ordering a Quarter-Pounder from McDonald’s: Eh, he’s alright. Serves a purpose. Could have been much better. Take this snowmobile chase, for instance. It captures half the excitement of riding on an actual snowmobile.

Point:Home Alone 2

_____________________________________

Story

Home Alone 2: The ’80s were over, and John Hughes was in full money-banking mode (other movies he wrote in the early ’90s include Dutch, Curly Sue, Beethoven, Dennis the Menace, and Baby’s Day Out). Home Alone 2 is basically a carbon copy of the first one, as nobody involved wanted to screw with the formula that made the first one a mega-success. The only things that really changed were the location obviously, and an insignificant subplot involving Harry and Marv robbing a toy store. Nearly everything else was exactly the same, even Kevin befriending a weird recluse (this time a homeless lady covered in bird shit). You can’t blame them for going back to the well, and they had to get a sequel in before Macaulay Culkin grew pubes on his chin, but it was a little too obvious of a cash grab.

Die Hard 2: John McClane needs to stop some terrorists on Christmas. Again, like Home Alone 2, basically the exact same plot as the original in a different setting. At least they tried to sprinkle in a few new elements, like McClane wearing shoes the whole time, and… no it was really just the same thing.

Point:Really a toss up, but Die Hard 2 probably tried 1% harder to make the plot a little different

_____________________________________

Effects

Home Alone 2: It’s always delightful to see someone get blasted in the face with a brick.

Die Hard 2: The part where McClane ejects out of the plane when the grenade explodes looks worse than your grandmother wearing my boxers for a dress.

Point:Home Alone 2

_____________________________________

Music

Home Alone 2: Nearly every Christmas song you can imagine is in this, plus an fun orchestral score from John Williams.

Die Hard 2: I think there was one, maybe two Christmas songs in the movie, with kind of a generic action soundtrack from Michael Kamen.

Awards

Die Hard 2:Nominated: Award of the Japanese Academy – Best Foreign Film

Point:Home Alone 2

_____________________________________

Legacy

Home Alone 2: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… the Talkboy?

Die Hard 2: Quite possibly the greatest TV dub in history.

Point:Die Hard 2

I’m as surprised as you are, really. But to be honest, Die Hard 2 is pretty crappy, and Home Alone 2, while a cheap copy, really isn’t that bad. On its own merit, if its predecessor never existed, it would probably be viewed more fondly. On that same token, Die Hard 2 would be just another run-of-the-mill action flick. So I think this makes sense. If only they combined these two franchises… DIE HARD ALONE!

What do you think? Did we score the fight fair? Which movie won on your scorecard?

A true cossover would also involve a bald, sleepy-eyed Bruce Willis trying to act like he gives a crap about the movie. The tv version would end with a badly dubbed, “Yippy ki-ya, McAllister!” Before brutally killing Kevin (Macaulay Culkin).