Man hops White House fence, caught for 4th timeChicago Sun-Times, United States - 4-10-06... The bearded man, wearing blue jeans and a
white T-shirt that said ''God Bless America,'' jumped the fence
outside the White House and ran across the North Lawn ...

CIA leak probe circles back to cast Bush as leaker
in chiefUSA Today - -
4-10-06President Bush's quest to muzzle leakers in his
administration has always looked a bit odd. In the most charitable
interpretation, it's a naïve waste of time and resources. Leaks are
part of every administration, and Bush's claims that national security
has been undermined appear dubious at best.

Another
Monday, another Bush scandal.

Maybe the Rapture already happened and
none of us was any good!
-- Zing!

“A 41-year-old teacher in Albany, New
York, suspended after he got caught giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie. You
know where a pervert like that will end up? The Department of Homeland
Security!”--

Jay Leno

Cheney Shot While at Halliburton

Years before Vice President Dick Cheney
accidentally shot a lawyer on a Texas quail hunt, Cheney himself was on
the receiving end of an errant shotgun blast during a quail outing in New
Mexico.

Carlsbad Mayor Bob Forrest said he doesn't know for certain if he or his
twin brother, Dick Forrest, fired the shot during the late 1990s that
accidentally pelted Cheney -- at the time the
chief executive at the Halliburton company.

Aeneas is under scrutiny by the Justice
Department and Congressional investigators. Its founder, Robert Abramoff,
a lawyer and sometime Hollywood movie producer, is the brother of Jack
Abramoff, the Republican lobbyist at the center of a Washington

Notice where the rapt attention of eyes
are focused on Katherine Harris

"Senate leaders announced they made a
huge breakthrough in reforming immigration laws. Then the senators adjourned
early so they could drop their illegal nannies at the bus stop." --Conan
O'Brien

Frist's Southern Hospitality

By Al Kamen

It was with some trepidation that we opened a
most interesting card, which announced on a blue-jeaned cowboy's belt
buckle something called the "5th Annual VOLPAC '06 Weekend" in Nashville
on April 21-23.

Whenever the president travels, security is a prime
consideration. Motorcade routes are kept secret, and premature release of
information about a presidential trip aboard one of the twin Air Force One
planes can result in the Secret Service canceling a visit.

Thus, the Air Force reacted with alarm last week after The Chronicle told the
Secret Service that a government document containing specific information about
the anti-missile defenses on Air Force One and detailed interior maps of the two
planes -- including the location of Secret Service agents within the planes --
was posted on the Web site of an Air Force base.

Top Ten Things Overheard During George W. Bush's Trip
To Cancun

10. "Feels great to get away after three straight weeks of work"

9. "As president of the United States, I pledge to do whatever's necessary to
help the Cancunians!"

Audience members who expected to see Bill Nye
“The Science Guy” conduct experiments and wow their children received
quite a surprise Wednesday when Nye spoke at McLennan Community
College...The Emmy-winning scientist angered a few audience members when
he criticized literal interpretation of the biblical verse Genesis 1:16,
which reads: “God made two great lights — the greater light to govern the
day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.”

He pointed out that the sun, the “greater light,” is but one of countless
stars and that the “lesser light” is the moon, which really is not a light
at all, rather a reflector of light.

A number of audience members left the room at that point, visibly angered
by what some perceived as irreverence.