Faith Forum: Should kids get the right to select their religion?

Oct. 25, 2013

Written by

Rajan Zed

Special to the Reno Gazette-Journal

We posed our panel of religious leaders of the region the following question:

Children usually pick up the religious viewpoints of their parents. Some religions/denominations perform confirmation ritual, formally admitting the children into their tradition before they reach the age of reason and are intellectually mature to voluntarily adopt it. Some criticize the religious indoctrination of children while others argue that sharing of the common religion/denomination by the entire family nourishes family bonds.

Question: Should kids be given the right to select their own religion/denomination (or no religion)?

Faith involves our children from the very beginning, with parents, godparents and responsible Christian adults becoming models that teach them about faith and the life it implies. It’s no contradiction to positively influence our children while simultaneously allowing for their own personal development. The Lord encouraged those who brought children to him, and we do the same, aware that if in childhood we don’t taste God, we’ll be much less free to discover God as an adult. Likewise, the rich spiritual tradition of Eastern Christianity involves the whole person in growth, development and maturity, not only the intellect and capacity to reason. This, too, is why good relations between parents and children are important, because when children freely welcome and trust their parents’ guidance and correction, they’ll sincerely assimilate it into their own life. Our faith is conveyed naturally when demonstrated adequately, and then religion is “caught,” not simply taught.

YOUTH FREE TO CHOOSE

Bradley S. Corbin, Bahá’í teacher

Children born into a Bahá’í family are considered a member of the Bahá’í faith and are welcome and encouraged to attend Bahá’í activities. Upon reaching the age of 15, however, the child must make his own declaration of faith if he wishes to continue as a Bahá’í. Declarations of faith from non-Bahá’í youth between the ages of 15 and 21, whose parents are not Bahá’ís, may be accepted without the consent of their parents unless this is contrary to civil law. However, the importance of respect for one’s parents must not be forgotten. The deeper implication of the act of declaration of faith are between the individual and God, for the process of becoming a Bahá’í is necessarily slow and gradual. The essential is that the beginner be willing to uphold and follow the truth and guidance set forth in the teachings with an open heart.

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WE CAN’T FORCE FAITH

Stephen B. Bond, senior pastor of Summit Christian Church, Sparks

The Bible is emphatic that parents are responsible to lead their children to faith: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).

Christian parents most effectively mold their children’s faith by modeling a vibrant spiritual life. Children have innate radar for discerning phony Christianity. The more passionate the parent’s faith is evident 24/7 (especially behind closed doors), the more likely a child will fall in love with Jesus.

But, when it’s all said and done, everyone makes their own decision to follow Christ. We can point children in the right direction, but we can’t force them to love and obey Jesus. This means that everyone ultimately chooses their own religion.

CLASHES OVER RELIGION

Kenneth G. Lucey, UNR philosophy/religion professor

Children should have the right to select their own religion/denomination or ultimately no religion whatsoever. Children often are not interested in participating in religion dictated by their parents. A child might find more attractive the activities of religion of a friend. It is understandable that child’s interest may differ from those of his or her parents. One church may have youth choir, another may sponsor a scout troop or another may have an active summer camp. Parents, the authority figures within the family, may simply require that their son or daughter undergo religious instruction. When child’s desires strongly differ from those of a parent, the parent’s wishes usually prevail, but often at the price of an offspring’s spiritual rebellion. Every human being has the right to attempt to manage his/her own beliefs. Yet, during childhood, most children either adopt or pay lip service to beliefs of their parents.

NOT FORCING ... IT IS TEACHING

(Page 3 of 5)

Sherif A. Elfass, Northern Nevada Muslim Community president

Parents are responsible of their children. It’s their job to lead their children’s lives and choose for them until they are able to choose for themselves. Religion is no different. Parents have the complete right to present what they believe to their children. It is not forcing or pressuring. It is called presenting and teaching. As Muslims, parents are obligated to teach their children Islam, away from culture or tradition knowing that there shall be no compulsion in religion (Quran 2:256). Parents should not “force” their children to be believers of their faith. They, instead, are to teach and guide them. And if they grow up and decide for themselves to reject the faith, then it is their own free decision. Allah says in the Quran: “The truth has now come from your sustainer: let, then, him who wills, believes in it, and let him who wills, rejects it.” [18:29]

FAITH IS A GIFT RECEIVED

Matthew F. Cunningham, Roman Catholic Diocese of Reno chancellor

Recognizing that children are not capable of making mature decisions, parents would not give their children the option of making major decisions about their health care, diet, education, etc. Catholic parents would have the same attitude toward the faith life of their children. They recognize that the grace of salvation is a gratuitous gift of God. Finding meaning and value in their own faith, parents wish to share this gift of faith with their children. They are their children’s first teachers of faith. They teach by word and example based on the child’s ability to understand. As children grow, they do not make decisions in a vacuum. Experiencing, sharing and living faith within the family is the best environment for understanding and spiritual growth.

Adult children sometimes choose not to remain in the faith they received. As adults, they are free to do so and are answerable only to God.

NO CHILDHOOD LIFE-DECISIONS

Jikai’ Phil Bryan, Reno Buddhist Center priest and meditation guide

(Page 4 of 5)

To become a formal Buddhist assumes personal acceptance of Buddhism’s conclusions on meaning. There are no tests of faith, but instead, steps of experience. Children who grow up in Buddhist homes and cultures may accompany family to church or Sunday School; however, there are no sanctioned confirmation ceremonies for such children. In the largest Buddhist cultures of East Asia, children are likely encouraged by wise family practices. Even Shakyamuni Buddha suggested to ask the wise, but ultimately use one’s own reason for final decisions. In some ancient Theravadan Buddhist cultures of South Asia, personal decisions for confirmation are normally based on prescribed retreats of young adulthood. Buddhism teaches and testifies only through reason and experience. The answer for mainstream Buddhism is that a child below the age of reason should not make a decision for life about Buddhism. We make no judgments about other faiths.

GOD-GIVEN AGENCY

Sharla S. Hales, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints area public affairs director

Parents have the right and solemn responsibility to meet their children’s spiritual needs, teach them right from wrong by example and word, and impart sincere religious beliefs and practices. Parents appropriately feel joy sharing their deep faith and conviction with their children.

Parents should encourage children as they grow to think deeply, study carefully and pray for guidance to earn their own faith and conviction. Unless children learn for themselves, their convictions will wane. Parents might initiate and nourish faith, but eventually, children must come to believe on their own. No one will permanently thrive on borrowed light.

Just as God will not force his children to heaven, parents cannot coerce sincere belief and should not try to force older children to accept their religion. When an older child exercises God-given agency to choose a different path, parents, though perhaps sorrowing, should respect agency, maintain closeness and continue to love.

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LIFELONG LEARNING

ElizaBeth W. Beyer, Temple Beth Or rabbi

Torah says that parents “shall teach G-d’s words diligently to your children, discuss them, while you sit in your home, while you walk on the way, when you lie down and when you arise.” Deut. 11:19. “A father is obligated to circumcise his son, to redeem him if he’s first born (special ritual), to teach him Torah, to find him a wife, and to teach him a trade and some say to teach him how to swim.” Kidushin 29a.

Parents must model Jewish learning and provide their children with a Jewish education. This education does not end at 13 at the age of bar/bat mitzvah, when a child is considered to have reached an age where they are accountable to G-d for many religious choices. Jewish education encompasses lifelong learning. Ideally, this means that parents and children continue studying our sacred texts and learning from each other throughout their lives.

Guest panelist

GOD ENLIGHTENS

William John Wynn, International Church Fellowship bishop

Each child should be persuaded by his or her own mind. In today’s world, our youth are influenced by social media, peers, political voices and religion. Parents are the child’s first teachers, which makes their roles paramount in their child’s everyday decision-making process. Parents have the responsibility to guide and direct their children’s moral behavior, provide a safe and loving home environment and demonstrate a positive spiritual lifestyle that embraces community service. When a child becomes of age, I believe God enlightens him or her. This enlightenment is a result of a personal religious experience and a personal encounter with their God whom they seek by faith. In the book of St. John 6:44 KJV, Jesus states, “No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him.”

Next week’s topic: Should the word “Allah” be reserved for Muslim usage only?Faith Forum is a weekly dialogue on religion coordinated by Rajan Zed