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25
.COM
“The three
ofusdo
shopping
together
– my mum,
my partner
and myself
– that’s a
picture
I’d never
imagined.”
Aly is founder of the online group Queer Muslims.
While she identifies as Muslim she describes herself
as spiritual rather than religious. Her sexuality is
also important. “I am in a same-sex relationship
and yes, we do have cats.”
She says that the online group is the only safe
place for Muslims who are queer, lesbian, bisexual,
gay, transgender, intersex or ‘qurious’. She points
out that Muslim doesn’t necessarily mean Arab:
you can be Muslim but South East Asian, or Middle
Eastern but not necessarily Muslim.
Some queer Muslims are told by their families to
get married and they have no idea what to do. “Is
it hell? I can’t speak for others but it was for me.
I’m one of the lucky ones—I do have acceptance
by my family, only after years and years.”
Now her mother is very fond of Aly’s partner. While
not afraid to be out, she still wishes to protect her
family. For years she chose not to tell others as “I
didn’t want my sister to not be marriageable”.
In Muslim communities men and women are often
segregated; if same-sex attraction occurs Aly says
it is often denied. “(a) it didn’t happen, or (b) it’s
a phase and you’ll grow out of it once you find
someone.” Many feel confused when experiencing
their sexuality in this underground world.
Sahra says that acceptance of lesbians and gay
men in Muslim communities can grow. “Not all
Muslim parents are backward, evil and regressive.
My parents had no formal education, had spent
the majority of their lives in their home country and
had not met a gay person so had no exposure to
gay culture.”
She hopes that lesbian and gay Muslims can “be
more honest with themselves and their families”,
dispelling the misconception that gay men and
women don’t exist in Muslim communities.
Aly’s girlfriend has Jewish heritage and they keep
Judaism for Dummies and Islam for Dummies
beside the bed. “We could be the Middle East
peace process.” For Aly, “it’s a fact that September
11 has changed the world. It’s brought us into
public view.” She emphasises that Islam “preaches
peace and tolerance. Imagine if we judged the Irish
because of Sinn Fein. Imagine if we judged every
Jew because of Israel. We can’t do that—there are
good and bad people everywhere.”
Sahra believes that Muslims who are same-sex
attracted can accept themselves and still be
religious. “It’s about reconciling those values and
living a happy life and being true to yourself. It’s no
use being true to a book and not true to yourself.”
*Not her real name
NSW
Lesbian Line
Mondays only 6.30pm to 10.00pm
Sydney metropolitan 02 8594 9595
Rest of NSW 1800 144 527
General Line
Every day 5.30pm to 10.00pm
Sydney metropolitan 02 8594 9596
Rest of NSW 1800 184 527
www.glcsnsw.org.au/
admin@glcsnsw.org.au
QLD
7 days a week, 7pm to 10pm
1800 184 527 (Country
(07) 3017 1717 (Metro
glwa.org.au
mailbox@glwa.org.au
VIC
Daily from 6pm to 10pm,
Wed from 2pm to 10pm.
1800 184 527 (Country)
03 9827 8544 (Metro)
switchboard.org.au
SA/NT
Every night 7-10pm
Sat & Sun 2-5pm
1800 182 233.( Country)
(08) 8422 8400 (Metro)
Fax 08 8422-8410
glcssa.org.au/ glcs@glcssa.org.au
Gay &
Lesbian
Counselling
Service