I’m pretty sure everyone in Canada, and possibly the world, is terrified of a Trump presidency. The Book of Revelation is pretty specific about what would happen if he were to be elected. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse would rain destruction from the skies, and the music of Metallica would blast across the heavens. Now, as awesome as that actually sounds, it really wouldn’t be because brimstone literally smells like rotten farts, and we would all be on fire or something equally terrible.

Now, without all my humble understatement, let’s take a look at what kind of policies Donald Trump would actually enact if he were to become president.

Now, most of you may remember Trump’s feelings for women. He has no problems being disgustingly derogatory with such comments as to suggest that a female competitor in the Republican race didn’t stand a chance because of how her face looked, or when he suggested that an intrepid female reporter is only asking a hard-hitting question because she is bleeding out of her “whatever.” This comment actually inspired a wonderful artist to create a portrait of The Donald using only her menstrual blood as paint.

Another part of Trump’s legacy of stupidity is that he has gone bankrupt like, a thousand God damn times. Now, bankruptcy is a fine economic practice for those who have gotten into financial hot water, but to repeatedly use it, time and again, shows vastly incompetent economic ability. A Trump presidency would very likely lead to the worst economic record since World War 2. He might defend himself and say that with North America’s aging population, it only makes sense that the economy would falter, but this flies in the face that old people are working just as hard as the rest of us! And also, it is only fair to point out that Trump didn’t cause the 2008 recession that destroyed the world’s economy, but he would have if he could have!

Now, for those of you who read the title and clicked on any number of these news articles I painstakingly researched, you are aware that I’ve been talking about the current prime minister of Canada, Stephen Harper, this whole time! Trump hasn’t actually done anything terrible yet because he doesn’t have any political power, but it is not difficult to imagine the kind of politician a man with ideologies like Trump would be, and then compare it to the man we have in power in Canada. That’s not even the whole of it. I didn’t include Harper’s disregard of the epidemic of missing and murdered Aboriginal women plaguing our nation, mostly because I didn’t know whether to include it in the racism or sexism part of this blog. The Harper Government has also destroyed much of Canada’s crucial data, to the point where we are blind when it comes to the lives of Canadians because of his destruction of the long form census, and blind to our future because of his defunding of environmental research facilities and the muzzling of climate scientists.