Cristina Odone is a journalist, novelist and broadcaster specialising in the relationship between society, families and faith. She is the director of communications for the Legatum institute and is a former editor of the Catholic Herald and deputy editor of the New Statesman. She is married and lives in west London with her husband, two stepsons and a daughter. Her new ebook No God Zone is now available on Kindle.

Tatler has just cottoned on to the middle-class parent's secret: state secondaries

It used to be that we competed for a handful of private secondary schools and then made do with state schools if our children failed to make the grade (or were just intimidated by the horrific battery of tests that selection entails). Now, middle-class parents compete for a handful of good state secondaries and then make do with expensive private schools if their children fail to get into the preferred (state) options.

This morning, middle-class parents I know were ringing one another in fury: how come the school we have put our daughter down for is not included in Tatler's list of "best" state secondaries? When I think of the forms we've filled (and made her school fill), the exam she's taken, and the nervous wait we have embarked on – we don't find out until the spring – it seems a bit off that Tatler should not validate our efforts.

It's revealing, though, that Tatler should publicly promote this educational revolution. The mag, once a favourite of Desiree Thunder-Bottom and her cohort, is now found in the guest loo of the aspirational middle classes. They are the ones who, having for generations bankrupted themselves (or humiliated themselves by approaching their parents on bended knees), are fed up with the monopoly of prohibitively expensive establishments. They are the ones who have calculated that four years at Eton or Winchester costs more than the average British home. They are the ones who now want to swap the pricey rat race for the rat race that comes free – or at least only requires children to work hard, and parents to be well-organised and sometimes duplicitous (I can't tell you how many middle-class parents find God when their child nears school age).

The middle-class parent's rebellion is not wholly new. Some have been engaged in it for some time, sending their children to church schools – though it should be pointed out that while there are many excellent church primary schools, the number drops when it comes to secondary schooling. Others have been opting for a more expensive approach: buying near the best state secondaries. The resulting surge in property prices has been much-lamented but is now an accepted feature of British life, like binge drinking teens outside a pub.

In the past, there were very few good secondary schools for which it made sense to compromise one's beliefs and change one's address. Today, the picture has changed. Even before Michael Gove started his campaign to improve state schools, Academies were flourishing. (We were sold on our house when we saw plans to build the Chelsea Academy down the road from us.) Free schools are now cropping up everywhere. And some state schools – church and non-church – are getting excellent results. All this is encouraging; and, coupled with the best universities claiming that they want more state school candidates, has sent out a clear message: going private is not the only way.