“I could shove you off with a weave of Air,” Moiraine said. “Send you tumbling toward the ground.”

“Which is precisely why I dropped a coin,” Kelsier said, throwing another for good measure. “To be honest, though, I’m not particularly interested in fighting you.”

“I don’t believe we were given a choice.”

“We could always stage a revolt,” Kelsier said. “Hunt down the people who did this to us. I have it on good authority that they’re all just a bunch of scribes.”

“No good,” Moiraine said. “I tried to find them through the Portal Stones already. But, if you do not wish to fight, we could always settle this by using plausibility as a measure. As I understand it, you’re actually dead.”

“Spoilers,” Kelsier said.

“We’ll put a warning at the top,” Moiraine replied, settling down on the ledge, sparing not a glance for the plunge. “And don’t change the topic. I believe that I would win, as you’re actually a corpse.”

“You’re dead too,” Kelsier said.

“I got better.”

“You did?” Kelsier said, surprised.

“Book Thirteen.”

“Damn. I got stuck in Book Ten.”

“It’s not as bad as people say,” Moiraine replied. “Mat’s sections are wonderful.”

“Well,” Kelsier said, “I don’t think it matters if you came back. We could just say this is me from the middle of the first Mistborn book. Besides, I think I eventually got better myself.”

“Doesn’t count. You became a disembodied voice that may or may not have actually been speaking into the mind of a young boy who was probably insane.”

“Yes,” Kelsier said, “but my series has a long way to go yet. Who knows what could happen? I’ve heard that some very remarkable things can happen with spikes . . .”

Moiraine sighed. “Well, if you will not accept that argument, then it will have to come to down to a fight. I do not enter a contest except to win.” Though her calm features betrayed no emotions, her eyes shone with a quiet intensity. A mountain would budge from its place before this woman abandoned her goals.

“You’ll find I’m good at doing the impossible,” Kelsier said. “It’s one of my specialties.”

“Too bad staying alive isn’t another of them.”

“Touché.”

“Does that word even make sense in-world?”

“Damned if I know,” Kelsier said. “We got away with ‘hat trick,’ didn’t we? Anyway, if you tie me in air, I vow to stall. For as long as I can, as loudly as I can.”

Moiraine shrugged. “Why should I care?”

“Because you have something better to be doing.”

“And you don’t?”

“Please,” Kelsier said. “I already saved the world. It only took me one book, I’ll add.”

“That’s funny, because from what I’ve heard, you left that ‘saved’ world in a fairly awful state. Your friends ended up doing all the work in the next few books; the only thing you did was provide a convenient skeleton.”

“Details.” Kelsier said. “The point here is that I can afford to lounge about, but you can’t. If you win this match, you’ll have to go on fighting in this thing for weeks longer. All of that will distract you from your purpose. And, to remind you, the longer I drag this conversation out, the longer a certain person isn’t working on the conclusion of your story.”

“Oh please,” Moiraine said. “The guy writes thousand-page books in his sleep every night. It won’t take him long to write this.”

“Be that as it may,” Kelsier replied, “I think you underestimate my ability to make a complete nuisance of myself. I promise you, I can draw this out. Hell, I’ll bet I could turn this conversation of ours into at least a novella. Maybe a six-part epic.”

Moiraine folded her arms, glaring at him.

“Face it,” Kelsier said. “If you want Randal–or whatever is name is–to get on with that saving the world business, you’re just going to have to forfeit. You don’t have time for this, woman. You’ve got a schedule to keep.”

She considered it. The breeze rustled his mistcloak.

“That smirk of yours is insufferable,” she finally said.

“Thank you. I practiced extensively.” He held out a hand. “Do we have a deal? You return to the Last Battle, and I spend my postmortem retirement filling people with lots of holes–preferably of the type that bleed vigorously.”

“Fine,” Moiraine said, slipping down off the wall and walking away. “I never had an interest in this in the first place.”

“Wait,” Kelsier said, hopping off the wall and grabbing Moiraine by the arm. “We forgot something.”

“And what, precisely, is that?”

“Fanservice,” Kelsier said, then dipped her low and leaned in for a kiss.

He froze halfway through the move.

“Unfortunately for you,” Moiraine said, slipping out of his grip and leaving him wrapped in weaves of Air, “I am taken. I have tied off the weaves; they should unravel in . . . oh, one week’s time.” She glanced at the sky. “Looks like rain.”

She slipped away down the steps into the White Tower.

Well, Kelsier thought, smiling as a drop of rain hit his cheek, I suppose that could have gone worse than it did.

Don’t forget–we’re always looking for fans’ depictions of these characters. Check out the details here

Cage Match fans: We are looking forward to hearing your responses! If possible, please abstain from including potential spoilers about the books in your comments (and if you need spoilers to make your case, start your comments with: “SPOILER ALERT!”

For those of you arguing that atium would let you avoid attacks with the one power…. How would it allow you to dodge something like compulsion? Or a weave that draws all the heat out of a general area?
Or heck, just look at this scenario. Moiraine creates a cage of air so wide that it has no effect on Kelsier (or anything else). Atium gives a few seconds warning, but once the cage is already there, all Moiraine needs to do is constrict it, and Kelsier has no way to get out. Atium does have it’s limits, and in the end the One Power is just so much more versatile. And heck, all moiraine has to do is weave a shield of air around her and Kelsier can’t touch her.

it’s true that Atium is of limited use but to claim that Atium is Kelsier’s only trick is the equivilent of saying that Moiraine is incapable of channeling unless she is using balefire. No one metal would win the fight for Kelsier but consider this. Soothing Moiraine so she does not feel in danger prevents her from using the one power as a weapon. pushing and pulling could rob most of her metal angreals if she had them on her. Plus Kelsier is an assassin first and foremost so unless he bungled badly he would hit Moiraine before she could raise a shield. Aes Sedai can be taken by surprise otherwise the Seanchan would never get anywhere. Plus Petwer gives Kelsier the edge in any prolonged fight as Channeling is very draining. That said Moiraine has a lot more power at her disposal so in an open fight she would win every time. In this battle it comes down to where they are and how prepared they are which ultimately means; who do you like more? For me it was too close to call so I followed Brandon Sanderson and went for Kelsier

An air shield by Moiraine to protect herself only works if she doesn’t do it before she gets rid of all her metal. Kelsier could pull a gold coin off her being and push and pull it to his desire. It would conveniently stay in her “protective” little air shield. Likewise, even if he is wrapped in air doesn’t mean he can’t manipulate that same gold coin.

Being a Sanderson fan (I started WOT because he was finishing it, and I have completely enjoyed it), I really would have liked to see a battle. I enjoyed this write-up, but a full on battle would have been so much more exciting. But being busy like he is, I understand.

Also, he basically said on twitter/facebook that he was going to flip a coin, and then write something up that would make it seem logical. It would be hard to decide which one to kill if you’re responsible for both of them.

okay, this match did it. I’m officially going to read this two series when I next have the time to. Seeing an author write up a match for two of his own (well, I know Moraine isn’t exactly Sanderson’s) is simply hilarious

That was a fun read – And we all know Moraine would win – No one but perhaps Thom is as good at the great game as Moraine. Kelsier just played at it for a very short time before dying. Mind you, if he spent a couple lifetimes learning in the white tower, that might be different!

That was amazing! Thank you Mr. Sanderson from the write up. It’s always nice to get a little taste of Kelsier, his dialogue is always awesome. That little hint at the beginning there has me both intrigued and hopeful. Surprised more people aren’t commenting on it.