Friday, March 12

...yet if you were a kid in 1987 you knew this was the shit. Hell, the first three minutes alone blows away last year's live-action "adaption". Might sound like bullshit, but the screenplay is written well above the vocabulary of its target audience (especially the dialogue of Cobra). Literally every other third word being one an average 8-year-old would have to look up or just learn from watching. An attribute seemingly lost in the children's programming of today. Plus you got the voices of Don Johnson in full Miami Vice-shred, Burgess Meredith as Cobra's supreme half-man/half-snake leader, and Sgt. Slaughter just after breaking the now profanely senile Iron Sheik's ass in the WWF. This probably wouldn't fly in today's climate, with the religiously PC must be educational-spewing crowd that would still throw a hissy fit if a similar show was created now called "Vague Battle Force Cartoon of Debatable Nationality, Non-Lethal Means, and Omnipresent Diplomacy" with factual historical war insight every five minutes by LeVar Burton and trumped-up poetry by Maya Angelou.

This is one of my all time favorite cartoon movies and I've probably seen it about twenty times... it's badass and classic on all levels, and Pythona and Jinx should get shower screen time ala Chun Li in Street Fighter's movie. Day-um!

The state of new cartoons sickens me. The children of today are being rendered moronic piles of slag with the toons they're forced to endure on the tube. I say any parents with a shred of sense will monitor their child's viewing patterns with heavy doses of Thundercats, Transformers and GIJoe.