Month: October 2016

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Listicle: Top 10 NB Halloween costumes for 2016

New Brunswick — It’s that special moment of the year when the young and young at heart celebrate ghouls, goblins and things that go bump in the night. While many can conceive of nothing more frightening than the U.S. presidential election, New Brunswick revellers have chosen chilling costumes with a distinctly local flavour instead. With that…

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Blaine Higgs names his moustache new deputy leader

Quispamsis — There’s an old English proverb that says, “A man without a moustache is like a cup of tea without sugar.” And after last Saturday’s Progressive Conservative convention in Fredericton, there is plenty of evidence that the provincial party members are sweet on their new leader, Blaine Higgs. Now, in his first major announcement…

Charlottetown — After accomplishing many daring diamond robberies across Canada, the Fashion Police are asking Maritimers to be on the lookout for two shabbily dressed posers who wouldn’t know haute couture from a hot mess. “A lime-green shirt in autumn? Really now,” huffed an indignant Tim Gunn. “If that’s a fall colour then I’m Kim…

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: NB Power turning Mactaquac Dam into ‘epic’ waterslide

Fredericton — NB Power is taking a plunge in an effort to retire their enormous debt. On Monday, NB Power revealed an ambitious new option for the Mactaquac refurbishment, one that promises to literally create new revenue streams for the Crown corporation. As part of the upcoming multi-billion-dollar restoration, NB Power will transform a portion of the…

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Trump says Canada’s Wi-Fi is ‘slow’ and ‘catastrophic’

Greensboro, N.C.– As the U.S. presidential election enters the home stretch, Republican nominee Donald Trump is making more sensational claims about Canada, but this time healthcare is not in the spotlight. Trump’s latest charge is that Canadian Wi-Fi is of such low quality that Canadians are crossing the border to the United States to download…

Moncton — After staring at it for more than 2 days, 39-year-old Greater Moncton resident Peter Grace consumed over 90 percent of a pumpkin pie that was left over from Thanksgiving. “I was so good for so many hours,” sobbed Grace. “I’ve been trying to lose some weight. After a modest Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday, I had just a tiny slice with…

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Young offender charged with Royale toilet paper theft

Halifax — A young offender was arrested today and charged on 17 counts of theft and one count of resisting arrest. Security camera footage revealed that the minor, age 9, was stealing toilet tissue from private residences over a period of several weeks. The youth had developed an unhealthy obsession with Royale toilet paper that led to a…

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: New Brunswick children still don’t care about French immersion entry point

Fredericton — While the autumn weather is beginning to settle into the province, it’s Groundhog Day in New Brunswick elementary schools. Like a scene from the famous movie, everything old is new again with the entry point for early French immersion returning to Grade 1 in 2017. Predictably, this change has sparked another squabble among interested groups…