Tabitha: Well, I thought that we should take that long overdue holiday
together, Endora, hmm? Ah, maybe that lovely dark bat cavern we read about in
your storybook would be nice? Oh, yes, that would be marvelous. You and me
together with all those stalagmites for as long as we like. Yes, I think I'll,
uh, I'll send a note by vulture to your teachers.

Tabitha: Who? Oh -- oh, them. Oh, I'd almost forgotten about them. Somehow I
think we've seen the last of those old hags. Anyway, by now they must have come
to their senses and realized their sheer idiocy of my killing Miguel. I mean,
that would put you and me under intense scrutiny for all the wrong reasons. No,
I think they will anoint me not only a wicked witch, but a clever wicked witch
as well. Anyway, we won't be here by then, just in case.

Tabitha: Well, I guess we will.

Sheridan: Here you are sentenced to die, and you're worried about Father
Lonigan?

Luis: He's never been wrong about his premonitions before.

Sheridan: Mm-hmm.

Fancy: What did he tell you exactly?

Luis: Your
grandfather, your father, Alistair, tried to have Father Lonigan killed but
only succeeded in blinding him.

Fancy: But why?

Luis: [Sighs] Yeah, why?
Well, that's the worst part. In a rare moment of humanity, Alistair
confessed his sins to Father Lonigan. And Alistair got scared, paranoid that
he was gonna reveal everything that he had told him.

Sheridan: But priests
are bound to keep what they hear to themselves.

Luis: Well, in any case,
Alistair tried to have him murdered. Father Lonigan hasn't seen a thing
since that day on.

Sheridan: Oh, my God.

Fancy: And to think I loved my
grandfather all those years.

Sheridan: But Alistair's dead, so why is Father
Lonigan so worried?

Luis: Because of all the evil lately. And he's not just
scared for himself. He's scared for everyone in Harmony.

[Thunder rumbles]

Blackmailer: You claim to know why I'm here, old man.

Father Lonigan: Yes. I
could sense you coming. I could feel you getting closer. The spirit of evil
making itself known.

Blackmailer: [Laughs] So you know I'm here to take your
life.

Father Lonigan: Yes.

Blackmailer: But you don't know how, do you? You
can't see me. You don't know if I have a gun, or a knife. You don't know how
I'm gonna stop the beating of your so-called pure heart.

Father Lonigan: The
weapon you use doesn't matter.

Blackmailer: But you'd like to know who I am,
wouldn't you?

Father Lonigan: That is unimportant as well.

Blackmailer: Oh,
I don't think so. You're dying to know who dare invades your holy house,
ready to snuff out your life, but you don't know. All you know is your time
is up. [Laughs]

Ethan: Julian, come on. Whatever it is, just spit it out,
all right? You keep going around in circles about the Crane empire and about
Little Ethan. I mean, what the heck is going on between you two?

Julian:
Well, quite a lot, actually. Do remind me to talk to the decorator about
those hideous drapes.

Julian: All right. [Sighs] I will tell you. It actually
involves you the most. It's high time you heard it.

Ethan: High time I heard
what?

Julian: Something that is going to alter your life, something that's
going to alter all of our lives.

Julian: I just learned something of great import, something that
truly surprised me, something that "rocks our world," so to speak.

Ethan:
You said it involved me, right?

Julian: Yes, it does. You see, Ethan --

Theresa: Mm! Wait!

Julian: All right, now that is enough, Theresa! Ethan,
come with me.

Theresa: No, no, no.

Julian: I'm going to tell you what I've
been trying to tell --

Ethan: Oh, my God.

Theresa: Julian, you cannot do
this.

Julian: Oh, yes -- you must be kidding!

Theresa: No, no, no, I'm
serious. I need a few minutes, just a few minutes. Just stay right here. Do
not say a word to him. Don't say one word!

Julian: All this stalling will
not change what I have to tell Ethan. The truth is the truth.

Ethan: She
said she needed a couple more minutes. I think we should give it to her if
she needs it. You said yourself it won't change anything, so let's just do
what she asks.

Julian: All right, but be quick about whatever it is you're
up to.

Theresa: I will be.

Julian: But this is a colossal waste of time. She
should just get it over with.

Sheridan: We know you were set up by someone
to make you look guilty of Fancy's attacks and those two murders.

Luis: Then
whoever it is, they definitely have a lot of pull.

Sheridan: They bent all the rules to
rush your trial and see you sentenced to death. And now he's moved up your
execution date. He is definitely obeying someone's orders.

Luis: Yeah, but
whose? That's the million dollar question.

Fancy: Well, Judge Reilly's not
the only person being blackmailed -- look what Theresa's been through.

Sheridan: Yeah.

Luis: I know. Whoever it is they definitely have it in for
my family. And the part that I hate most about it is I'm gonna be gone
before we ever find out who it is. Look, the two of you, I want you to stop
worrying about me, ok? Right now I am more worried about Father Lonigan and
what he's sensing.

Sheridan: He actually said that he feels that evil is in
our midst.

Luis: Yes. He's never been wrong about this stuff before. Look,
it's too late for me at this point. Maybe the two of you can go check on
Father Lonigan, though.

Fancy: It is not too late for you, Luis.

Sheridan:
You can't give up.

Luis: I'm not giving up. I'm just trying to be realistic.
Now, look, the two of you have been great. I really appreciate all the
support, but there's just not much that I can do at this point.

Fancy: You
can hang on. We'll be out there. We'll find the person behind all this
horror and we'll clear your name before they --

Luis: I know you're gonna
try.

Sheridan: We will do more than try.

Luis: I don't wanna lose you, Fance.

Sheridan: Look, no one's going to lose anyone. We are going to find a way to
stop your execution and end this reign of evil, all at the same time.

Father
Lonigan: God loves you. I love you as well as I love all his children. Let
me help you.

Blackmailer: You don't fool me, old man. You just want to save
your sorry, pathetic self. You think you can break me down with your pity?

Father Lonigan: It's not pity.

Blackmailer: Hah! Well, forget it. It's not
going to save you. I'm going to kill you no matter what. Do you still love
me now?

Lucretia: We wanted some time to go over our notes to review your case
more thoroughly.

Tabitha: Oh!

Tabitha: Well, now that you have reviewed my
extraordinary resume as the most wicked resident in Harmony, no doubt you've
come to see that my not killing Miguel was not only creative, but shrewd as
well. His death would have aroused enormous suspicion about me and Endora.
Whereas just knocking him out cold and erasing his memory serves our purpose
perfectly.

Bad witch: Your questionable behavior with Miguel was not the
only issue on the table.

Lucretia: We looked at everything since the days of that little talking doll
you made. The one who died becoming human? A good human?

Tabitha: Oh, yes,
Timmy. My Tim Tim. [Chuckles] He had a mind of his own, that mischievous
little imp. He might have been good, but he wasn't above stirring up quite a
bit of trouble with me. Did any of you happen catch some of my atrocities
with that mealy-moused cousin Charity? And I was downright vicious when it
came to killing her mother, Faith. And then there was that avalanche I
caused, you remember that? Oh, I was quite something.

Bad witch: "Was" being
the operative word. [Laughter]

Tabitha: I'm still something. I'm evil to the
core. There's nothing as wicked as old Tabitha.

Bad witch: Then perhaps
you'll tell us, old evil Tabitha, what you're doing with those suitcases?

Bad witch: Planning a little trip somewhere are we? [Laughter]

Tabitha:
Actually, yes. Endora and I were just about to take off for a wee holiday,
so if you don't mind --

Lucretia: Oh, but we do. We've reached a verdict.
We're here to tell you how we've decided to classify you -- as a good witch
or a bad witch.

Julian: All this stalling. I'm of a mind to tell you before
she comes back -- if she comes back. That way, she can't stop me.

Ethan: No,
you won't.

Julian: You aren't the least bit curious?

Ethan: You told her
that you'd wait. I'm gonna hold you to that.

Julian: All right. Actually,
it'll be more entertaining if she's here. I can't wait to see the look on
her face.

Theresa: Ok. All right. This has got to be it. Come on, open up.
It's the only way that I can stop Julian from telling Ethan the truth, that
Little Ethan is really his son. Oh, God, this has gotta work. This just has
to work.

Bad witch: Perhaps you would like to see some
highlights of the last few years.

{Timmy: Oh! Tabitha, Timmy loves it!

Tabitha: And because you've been such a good boy, I'm going to lock Fluffy
in the attic for the night.

Timmy: Oh, thank you, Tabitha!

Tabitha: I love
you, too, sweet pea. Oh, I love you. Here.

Timmy: What's this?

Tabitha:
Another end-of-the-year present. I haven't told you this before. I pretended
not to care, but I did. I did care. Oh, Endora, as much as I love you,
you're a very bad influence on me. These sickly maternal feelings are
recoloring my entire personality. I really feel sorry for Kay. }

Bad witch:
And those are just a sampling of what we saw.

Second bad witch: There were
numerous times where we saw you taking care of this Kay person.

Bad witch:
Don't forget that streetwalker, uh, Jessica something.

Tabitha: Oh, please,
I've known those two Bennett girls since they were born.

Lucretia: You were
not only kind to them, you punished a perfectly evil degenerate named Spike,
when any self-respecting witch would have rewarded him. We could go on, but
I think our point's been made.

Bad witch: Seeing how that you have chosen to
take care of these mortals that you're supposed to be torturing, we have no
choice but to issue the following decree.

Fancy: Why hasn't Ethan called me back? I've left him so many
messages.

Sheridan: Don't worry. He's probably just tied up. I know he'll do
everything in his power to help.

Fancy: Yeah, I'll try him again.

Sheridan: While you do that, I will go to the church and check on Father
Lonigan. Oh, and, by the way, don't think that this is a permanent
rapprochement. I'll do as Pilar asked and act as if we're getting along in front
of Luis, but nothing has changed. As soon as he's cleared and free from prison,
I'll be going after him again. He's not going to be with you, so don't get used
to it, ok?

Fancy: You selfish bitch.
Sheridan, go check on Father Lonigan and while you're there, ask him to pray
for your miserable soul.

Sheridan: Oh, sweetheart, you're the one that's
gonna need prayers when you lose Luis to me.

Blackmailer: [Laughs] Still
care about me, old man? Still wanna pray for my soul?

Father Lonigan: More
than ever.

Blackmailer: Shows how much you know. I don't have a soul.

Father
Lonigan: Of course you do. All God's children have souls. Yours is just very
troubled -- weary, pained, full of doubt -- but it is there.

Blackmailer:
You know nothing about me.

Father Lonigan: I know enough to know that you
have been very hurt. I don't believe that you came to this place, to God's
house, to kill me. I believe you came to search for something -- something
that could give you peace.

Blackmailer: Wrong again.

Father Lonigan: I only
pray that I can help you find what you're looking for.

Blackmailer: Forgiveness is for
weaklings. Babies are innocent. They need to be held, touched, taught that
they're worth something -- more than just treated like garbage and tossed
out into the street. What kind of God creates a baby whose own mother
screams in revulsion at the sight of him? What kind of God is that? Tell me,
old man. Tell me. I'm too gruesome for even a mother's love.

Father Lonigan:
But not to God. God does love you.

Blackmailer: Liar! You can't see me. You
don't know the horror.

Father Lonigan: I don't need to see you with my eyes.
I'm blind to your physical frailties. And so is God. We see only the
goodness in you.

Blackmailer: Monsters don't have good inside them. Monsters
deserve to die and make others die as well. Still don't believe me?

Blackmailer: Here! Feel the monster that your God created.

Julian: Oh, all
right, time's up, she's not coming.

Ethan: No, no, you said you'd keep your
word.

Theresa: Won't you please come in.

Julian: Gladly.

Julian: I was going
to tell Ethan, but he insisted that I wait for you.

Theresa: Ah. You might
be glad that you did, Julian.

Julian: Why would that be, since I'm the one
who's holding all all the cards?

Theresa: Not quite.

Ethan: Enough, come on.
Let's get to the point, please.

Julian: But of course. Shall I tell him, or
would you like to, dear?

Theresa: Um --

Julian: Fine, I will. Ethan, would
you care for a seat? I think you may need it.

Tabitha: Me, a good witch?
That's ridiculous! Never in a thousand years. I've always hated that Glinda
imposter. I'm a bad witch. I'm a very, very, very bad witch.

Lucretia: I'm
afraid we've had no indication of that whatsoever -- quite the contrary.

Tabitha: Well, then you must have been looking in the wrong places. You know
what I think? I think you lot made up your minds about me before you even
considered my case. I think you're just a bunch of --

Lucretia: Don't say
it, for your own sake.

Tabitha: All right, I won't. I don't care what you
think anyway. You can call me a good witch from here to kingdom come. I know
what I am, and I don't need your stinking stamp of disapproval. Oh, to
heaven with the lot of you!

[Witches gasp]

Tabitha: Yeah! And there's more
where that came from, too.

Lucretia: Before you insult us further, I think
you might want to hear the rest of what we have to say.

Bad witch: After we
declared you a good witch, we took a vote.

Tabitha: On what?

Bad witch: On
the future of your little witchlet.

Tabitha: What's Endora got to do with
any of this?

Lucretia: A good deal. Now that you've been certified as
lacking in all of the qualities of a true bad witch, we'll need to see to
her proper upbringing.

Tabitha: What are you talking about?

Bad witch: Even
though that you have been a total and utter failure as a bad witch, we feel
your daughter has promise.

Second bad witch: And as such, we need to protect
her from your bent for humanity.

Lucretia: We know she's teetering on the
edge of goodness. That's unacceptable. Her evil nature must be nurtured so
that she attains the full measure of her wickedness.

Tabitha: What are you
getting at?

Lucretia: Isn't it obvious? You're an unfit witch, which makes
you an unfit mother for a baby witch.

[Tabitha gasps]

Lucretia: Therefore,
by the powers vested in us by the dark side, we are hereby taking custody of
Endora from this evening forward. She'll live with us, be raised by us, and
the demons willing, become one of the worst beings this universe has ever
known!

Tabitha: I'll protect her. I'm her mother. I belong with her. She
belongs with me. We love each other.

Lucretia: Love! Isn't that just like a
good witch to speak of love. There's no place for love in our world.

Tabitha: Listen, why don't you all just get back into your rattletrap jalopy
and get the blazes out of here now!

Bad witch: Not without the child.

Tabitha: Listen, listen, if you want a promise -- my promise -- I will give
it to you. I -- I promise. I will raise Endora to be as wicked as they come.
Look, I'm already instructing her in cauldron cookery 101. Before you know
it, she will be wreaking havoc on the entire world. I'll see to it. I
promise. This -- this child is my whole life. She's my world. I -- I would
-- I will do anything for her. I will do anything for her.

Tabitha: Oh, and
I love you too, sweet pea. Now, you go now. We'll -- we'll be in touch.

Tabitha: There, you're leaving then. [Groans]

Theresa: I think you might
want to reconsider telling Ethan the truth about our son.

Julian: And why on
earth would I want to do that to Ethan? To spare you the heartache you are
going to feel when he tells you how much he hates you for lying to him? To
spare you the indignity when you're tossed out of this office on your pert
little behind, stripped of your son's inheritance and his illicitly gained
birthright -- the one you stole from me when you passed him off as my spawn?
I wouldn't spare you a dime if you were begging on the street, and that's
exactly where you are going to end up when I am through with you. You're
going to get exactly what you deserve for steamrolling over me without a
care for anyone but yourself. It's time that you were publicly humiliated.
In the process, I'm going to take back everything you stole from me.

Theresa: I don't think so.

Julian: Oh, if you think I'm going to back down,
you are delusional.

Theresa: No, I just think you might want to hear what I
have to say. And once you do, I think you might want to make a deal with me.

Julian: Oh, dream on, dream girl. You have nothing to offer me to keep the
truth from Ethan. No deal.

Blackmailer: [Growls] No more talking. Nobody
pities me. Nobody.

Father Lonigan: I don't feel sorry for you. I feel
compassion for all God's children. I know you have experienced hurt -- a
hurt that has twisted your heart and your mind and tried to eat away your
very soul.

Blackmailer: Oh, it's eaten away, Father. It's gone.

Father
Lonigan: I don't believe you.

Blackmailer: You should. What's left of my
soul is a dark, bottomless pit filled with bitterness, pain, and rage.

Father Lonigan: It doesn't have to be. Turn away from the darkness. Look
towards the light. Let God shine the light of love into your very soul.

Blackmailer: You think you're talking to me as if I'm some kind of normal
person. What's it gonna take to convince you that all that garbage doesn't
apply to me? I was born a freak, I'm gonna die a freak. And I'm taking a
whole lot of people with me when I go.

Sheridan: Father Lonigan, are you
here? Father Lonigan? [Screams]

Tabitha: Oh, Endora. Are you all right,
Endora? Oh, well, they have gone. That's all we care about, right? Endora?
Endora? Where are you? Endora, where are you? Hey. Endora, now, listen. This
isn't the day for games. Come on, come on. Come out, come out, wherever you
are. Endora? Endora? Now, Mommy's going to be very cross with you. You're a
naughty girl. Endora? Endora? No, no, this can't be true. They were just
trying to frighten me. They couldn't have taken her. They couldn't have
taken my little girl. That would be too cruel. Endora! Endora! Endora. Oh --
oh, where is she? They've taken her. They've taken my baby, my witchling.
Endora!

Julian: I must hand it to you, Theresa. Who would ever have dreamed
that you could pull off a respectably convincing poker face? But I know you
have nothing to make a deal with, darling. The jig is up. As soon as Ethan
comes back in here, I'm going to tell him what you have been hiding from him
for months -- nay, years. And you're going to lose all the ill-gotten
trappings that went along with having Little Ethan prancing around as the
favorite Crane heir.

Theresa: You know, if you could just stop threatening
me long enough, I could tell you why you shouldn't be wearing that smug,
sure-of-yourself expression.

Julian: All right, get it over with. Tell me
what you got, baby, because it's not gonna matter a whit anyway. Because the
moment Ethan learns that you have been lying to him, you will not only lose
what you've stolen from me by parading your son around as a Crane, you will
lose Ethan and you will end up with what you should have had from the very
beginning -- the Lopez-Fitzgerald birthright. Nada.

Fancy: Oh, Ethan, thank
God you're here.

Ethan: I got here as soon as soon as I could. What is
wrong?

Fancy: It's Luis. You can't let them kill him.

Father Lonigan: May
the lord be with you now and forever. In the name of the Father, and of the
son, and of the holy spirit, amen.

Sheridan: Luis, no.

Fancy: Oh, God,
please don't do this to him. Please, no.

Sheridan: Oh, my God.

Fancy: Luis.

Father Lonigan: Now, and at the hour of our death.

Guard: He's gone.

Luis:
Oh, my God. I really am gonna die.

[Sheridan screams]

Blackmailer: [Laughs]
Seems we have ourselves some company, Father.

Sheridan: Oh, my God.

Blackmailer: Not really. God can't help you now.

Sheridan: Who are you?

Blackmailer: All in good time, Sheridan.

Sheridan: How do you know who I am?

Blackmailer: How could I not? I know everyone around here.

Sheridan: Father
Lonigan, Luis asked me to come check on you.

Father Lonigan: That's very
thoughtful of you, Sheridan. But as you can see, I'm fine, just a tad busy.
We were in prayer, so won't you come back tomorrow?

Blackmailer: Nice try,
Father, but she isn't going anywhere.

Sheridan: Why not?

Blackmailer:
Because I said so, that's why. Yes, now that you've come here, you've spared
me the trouble of hunting you down and killing you elsewhere. What a lucky
break, being able to kill two birds with one stone -- or in our case, two
losers with one gun.