(Closed) We are paying for the wedding shower… but (HELP!)

I need some quick opinions. I am getting ready to order my shower invites today. Here’s the deal… we are having a couples wedding shower. It will take place at my Aunts condo clubhouse and we are paying for 80% of it. My family is Italian and my FI’s family is Polish (Polish is their 1st language). So, should I skip the “given by” area (my Mom doesn’t want to lie) and how should I do the RSVP’s? I’m not sure I should put my Mom (or Aunt) down and burden them because my FI’s family speaks only some english. Would it be weird to RSVP to us? We don’t want to use my FI’s Mom as an RSVP either, we would like to handle it. Please help with any suggestions!

It’s generally considered poor ettiquite to host your own shower, so I’d put someone else (preferably your aunt since she’s less closely related) on the RSVP. If FI’s family has questions, the aunt can always ask you or they can call your Fiance or his mom directly.

@msfahrenheit: I agree and we don’t want to give any knowledge to anyone that we are paying for it. My Mom and Aunt are not good at this and I worry about my FI’s family calling her to RSVP and my Mom won’t understand their European names. I guess it’s going to have to be that way, though.

For the names, give your mom a list of all the people invited. Hopefully when they call, she will make out the names enough to figure out which person it is. Then, she can just put a check mark next to their names. That will also keep all the RSVPs in one easy, visible spot for you to look at, rather than her trying to write down all the names of people when they call.

@paigers91: Ideally, that would be great… but the bee’s do not know my mother.. what is simple to us, is not to her. It took her months just to learn my future long polish last name. God help me when we have a baby… she’ll never find me in the hospital.

@Mrs.Firefly1: If you’re paying for your own shower then they should RSVP to you–otherwise there will be confusion because guests will assume that it is a surprise and the person the RSVPed to is throwing the party

I have to wonder–is there a reason why you are throwing your own shower and footing the bill? It’s usually not that expensive and typically your family or friends are supposed to throw it for you–even if they can only afford a potluck at their house it’s about the gesture