"Cougar" bar guide

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For ages it has been socially acceptable for men to date much younger women -- which contributes to a large pool of single, middle-aged women.

Some of these seasoned, yet still-lovely ladies admit to feeling "invisible" to the opposite sex. But there's a group of older gals in the dating scene, often referred to as "cougars," and these ladies aren't turning to a houseful of cats for companionship. Instead, they're dating dudes a decade or more younger than they are, and in some cases, calling the shots.

The definition of "cougar" varies, but usually it refers to a woman in her 40s, 50s or 60s who likes to date guys between 10 and 20 years her junior. Allegedly, the term originated in 2001 in Vancouver.

"I never understood the word," says Grove. "I still think of (the character in) 'Top Gun' when I hear the word."

Whereas the "cougar" term once described a creepy matron with a tickle in her mom jeans, it has better connotation these days. Often times, these women are financially stable, physically attractive and determined to have a good time despite the fact society brands most females over 40 as unsexy.

Despite stereotypes, cougar relationships are mutual, and not synonymous with a spider snagging a fly. Some men -- especially those on a professional fast track -- are less interested in committed relationships and simply into fun and frolic with the fairer sex.

Plus, some guys find the older woman more attractive because she doesn't have the "biological ticking clock." Many cougars have grown children or have reached menopause.

Actresses like "Desperate Housewives'" Felicity Huffman and Kim Cattrall from "Sex and the City" bushwhacked the path for seasoned gals to reclaim their sensuality. Cattrall, 52, played her real age in "Sex," and her character, Samantha, remained sexy even in the midst of breast cancer.

Hollywood has been obsessed with May-to-December relationships for generations, cranking out films like "The Graduate," "Harold and Maude" and "American Beauty."

In the 2007 straight-to-DVD movie, "Cougar Club," Warren Kole and Jason Jurman play college grads who have relationships with a series of older women, including female characters played by Carrie Fisher and Faye Dunaway.

Vic Jones is the co-owner of Victor's, a nightclub that attracts guests from age 25 to 65. Jones says he witnesses the cougar / fresh meat hook-up, but that the women are pickier than one might think.

"Most of these women are interested in guys in their 30s, maybe late 20s, but usually not the extremely young men," he says.

Jones points out that women, including women on the prowl, are more cautious, concerned about safety and generally don't come on as strongly as males who are looking for a one-nighter.

"Places that have a dance floor -- like Victor's -- make it easier for women to meet men because they just have to ask them to dance," says Jones.
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Talkbacks

I am an ex-touring musician and have had my share of experiences with women of all shades of personalities and all I have to say is: Guys beware! Dont get involved with Cougars for anything more than some good times! They are always smart and alot of fun, but impossible to get along with. Except for a few cool dames, most of them are evil ego-maniacs that will claw into your chest and eat your heart out. But not until they've driven you mad by arguing you into buying in to their wicked self-centered idealism, backward morals and feminist logic.

Oh please, Molly! What do you call a man who prefers romancing younger women? A man. His female counterpart? A cougar, which as you know, is a wild, predatory animal who furtively stalks and pounces on it's unsuspecting victim(s). Why do you, presumably a female, continue to give life to this insulting, outmoded and sexist double standard?
Women's sexuality was liberated with the advent of the birth control pill in 1960, yet our society still cannot fathom the thought of a mature woman with a healthy, normal sexual appetite.

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