Still Single? Then Just Give Up! 15 Things You Need To Stop Doing

You are a woman; you are single and you are trying so hard to succeed at everything you do. You're busy at work trying to please your crabby boss; you're trying to be a perfect woman... and it's just so darn difficult. How in the world are you supposed to keep your date happy?

What's a woman supposed to do? Do more? Try harder? Fix every single thing? Try to make things work better, harder, faster, stronger? This is the old paradigm of dating. Embrace the new paradigm of dating...

Giving Up!

Give up on your excuses. There are plenty of good men out there. If you don't think you have time, you can make time. Do you want to be like Bea Arthur on the Golden Girls?

Give up the need to always be right. If your date chooses a restaurant you don't love, go anyway. There's no need to suggest your favorite five-star joint if he doesn't bring it up. I'm sure they'll have something you can eat no matter where you go; it's not going to kill you to eat iceberg lettuce one time this year.

Give up trying to control what your man is doing. No matter how badly you want a man to call or text you, you can't change that fact that he isn't calling or texting you. It's time to live your life and focus on what makes you happy, besides his late night phone calls.

Give up on blaming your man for how you feel. It's not a man's fault that you are still bitter about a past relationship. This new guy has nothing to do with your past. He's the "new guy" and not the guy that slept with your best friend or left his beard trimmings in the sink. A goddess takes responsibility for her own feelings and finds things that make her feel good.

Give up your limiting beliefs. Give up thinking that this guy is too good for you; you deserve to be with the perfect man that is perfect for you, even if it's only for a short time. You are an amazing woman and when you realize it, men will be lining up just to be near you.

Give up on self-defeating talk. Don't tell yourself that you need to be prettier, skinnier or somethinger to find a good date. If your best friend was saying the things to you that you say to yourself, would you still be her friend? Probably not. Be a friend to yourself.

Give up on complaining about what a man is not doing. If he's not making dates with you, don't complain about it. Put on your big girl pants and have some fun with your friends, or even better, get a date with that cute nerdy guy who wears bow ties to work.

Give up on criticizing a man for what he is doing. If he's asking you out last minute, you don't need to complain to him about it; your actions will speak volumes. Complaining is one of the biggest turn-offs for men. Don't accept a last minute date if it doesn't make you feel good. If you are busy reading a book or making dinner, that is busy enough to graciously decline his 9pm "classy invitation."

Give up your need to impress a man. Wear what you want because it makes you feel good, not because you think he would want you to wear it. If you like purple nail polish and he doesn't, he's going to have to learn to love it if he wants you to stick around, because purple is your color.

Give up your resistance to change. Change makes the world go round and if you had to wear the same dress every day, life would be boring. The same thing goes for when you're single. There's no need to focus on just one construction worker; you can go out with both Dr. Bob and your mailman. You can see them all the same day if you feel like, and you have the time to do this before any exclusivity happens.

Give up labels. You've only gone on a date or two right? There's no need for labeling him as your "boyfriend," and there's no need for you to give up your other options just yet.

Give up on your fears of getting hurt by another man. When you're single and dating, you could feel bad if a man doesn't call or doesn't even show up for a date. The first time it happened to me, I felt devastated. I was so confused and didn't know if I should be concerned or just plain mad. I thought maybe he was in a car crash or needed me by his side while he was in a coma. I saw his active profile on match.com a few days later, and he had a some great excuses: being at a Mormon college (where there was no internet service), and having both his phone and computer stolen. I have to say, he did get points for creativity. Dating will definitely toughen you up and get you used to some man behaviors.

Give up the past. The past is for learning about who you are; you don't need to bring your past relationships on your dates. Please don't project all of the bad qualities in your last relationship onto this guy. You barely know him.

Give up attachment. Just because you're going on a date with this man, doesn't mean your children are going to have his unattached earlobes. This is only just that — a date.

Give up living your life to meet other people's expectations. Don't lose yourself because a man expects you to be at his every beckoning call. If you have your favorite zumba class on Friday night, and that's the guy's usual "date night," you shouldn't have to arrange your schedule to fit his. You happen to be available "most" Saturdays, unless he waits until Saturday night to ask you out.

13. Be less busy.

Stop trying to do everything. Learn to pare down and say no. Connect with others more deeply, recharge and enjoy the simple pleasures that surround you.

14. Read or listen to inspiring books.

Daily inspirational reading or listening, especially first thing in the morning, sets a positive tone for the day. Reading also exercises your mind improving your knowledge, concentration, and memory.

15. Practice Relaxing

Add meditation, mind-controlled relaxation or visualization techniques, deep breathing, yoga and other relaxation tools. Relaxing helps us cope with the stresses of life on this planet and returns us to balance when we experience an upset.

16. Visit a health care practitioner.

Schedule a massage, acupuncture session or other therapeutic practice to give back to your body and re-balance. We all need self-care mixed into our lives so we have enough in our energy tanks to give to others without getting depleted.

17. Exercise your body.

Gradually add more exercise into your life. Elevate your mood, tone your body, and experience more self-confidence and well-being.

18. Exercise your mind.

Focus on what you want in life with affirmations and goal setting. By focusing your mind, you gain clarity and opportunities often come your way, especially if you write and review your intentions regularly.

19. Practice gratitude.

Write in a gratitude journal or reflect on gratitude daily. The ritual of gratitude reflection can improve your sense of well-being and contentment, especially if you take the time to write down what you are thankful for each day.

20. Reduce your exposure to the news.

Most T.V., radio and newspaper news is negative, so avoid it. Since most media leads with bad news, you might find yourself missing all the kind acts that happen and feel gloom instead of hope.

21. Play happy or peaceful music.

Add some singing and dancing with the music to get even more out of it. It is hard to feel sad while singing and dancing to uplifting music!

22. Forgive more quickly, deeply and completely.

Practice forgiveness each day. Forgiving helps your heart heal and opens the door to more love in your life.

23. Love.

Use kind words. Say "I love you" more often. Look for ways to love others and yourself. Love may extend your life, or at least create more happiness as you live it!

24. Worry less.

Worry is the misuse of your imagination. Worry often leads to illness, and what you worry about may never come to pass!

25. Slow down and be present now.

Wherever you are, be there with your full attention. Enjoy fewer accidents and more meaningful relationships with people.

26. Smile.

Smile at everyone you see. Look younger and attract other smiling, happy people to you!

27. Laugh.

Find humor in your life and express it with a good, hearty laugh as often as possible. Release those feel-good brain chemicals and see your stress level lower!

28. Think positive.

Focus on and visualize the best possible outcome. Looking for the sunny side of life and searching for the good in a challenging situation helps you cope and reduces unnecessary struggle.

29. Be enthusiastic.

Practice enthusiasm, even with routine tasks. Life becomes more fun with enthusiasm, and you may attract more opportunities and success along the way!

30. Avoid criticizing and complaining.

Look for the positive in events and people. Look for a solution, take positive action and switch your mood for a more pleasant experience.

31. Appreciate beauty.

Notice beautiful things around you. Nature and people are filled with beauty if you take time to look, which can provide you with immense pleasure.

32. Keep an open heart and mind.

A change might be just what you need. Tolerance can facilitate peace in your heart and in the world.

33. Simplify your life.

Focus on quality over quantity. Simplicity gives you more time to relax and enjoy what really matters in your life.

34. Respond instead of react

Be thoughtful and mindful. Mindfulness lessens regrets and increases respect and kindness.

35. Practice the "Golden Rule".

Do unto others as you would wish them to do unto you. What goes around comes around, so start a positive cycle and enjoy the lasting benefits living a life of compassion and caring.

Whatever your current level of water consumption, add to it! Water helps each organ of our bodies run more efficiently, boosts your immune system and helps flush toxins away.

If you want to meet that kind of man who will touch the small of your back when you're walking in the door that sends shivers down your spine, then make your online profile rock!
Your pictures are very important (of course), but so are other factors when it comes to attracting good men on dating sites.
While you spend a cold lonely night alone ... Read more

Do you ponder about love just as Shakespeare, cavemen, spiritual leaders, and horny teenagers have done for thousands of years?
Today, scientists like Dr. Helen Fisher, and online dating site math geeks, like Christian Rudder are diving in and still trying to answer this question.
Why do we love? Most importantly, why do you love? And Why does is ... Read more

When it comes to online dating (especially if you're testing it out for the first time), trying to figure out what all of the rules are can be seriously confusing, not to mention frustrating. For starters, there is nothing worse than meeting someone who you really click with, finally making plans to go on a date with someone ...only to get there and run out ... Read more