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UWOD

The garments you wear during a shortage of underwear, when you haven’t done laundry in several weeks or months. Usually characterized by lack of elasticity, holes (usually large and awkwardly located), stains, and typically are at least 5 – 10 years old. In some cases soccer shorts, underwear of unknown origin, thongs, bathing suit bottoms, or ‘granny panties’ can be considered famine underwear, but do not necessarily meet the above criteria.

I haven’t done laundry in weeks, so I’m wearing my famine underwear, the boxers I made in home economics in middle school.

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I love that this is a universal thing (unless you are exceedingly anal about your laundry). We all use up the ones we like best first, and save the ones that bind, roll, etc. hoping we’ll get to the laundry before we have to wear them. It must be time to buy new underwear.

Bob does something similar on his dinner plate, but with a twist. He’ll eat bits of everything except the thing he likes best, which he saves intact for last. No, I’m not gonna go there.

I’m probably moderately anal. I’ll go as far as a certain lack of elasticity, but no holes. And I’m sure I’d replace mine more often if they didn’t have to come from Marks & Spencer. Since nobody ever sees the darn things I don’t know why I care.