Tuesday, November 15, 2005

The Weeeek.... In Piiiiictuuuuuures!

Let's peruse some of this week's most candid celebrity pictures, yes?

I'm not sure what it is "Kelly Osborne" is mourning here, but I hope it's not her second chin: we're all glad to see that go. Even that monkey in the cowboy costume. You know he's all "Psst... Kelly. Listen, I've got a demo I've been meaning to pass along, I think you should take a listen. It's not really in a "genre", but you could kind of call it "prog-acid-jazz meets indie-blue-man-group, tipping their hat to early-90's-Heart."" But seriously, someone give that monkey a contract. I must see more of it. Even if that means attacking Paris Hilton. In fact: Especially if it means that.

Nicole Richie, perfecting her eerie Karl Lagerfeld impersonation.

...Or is Karl Lagerfeld perfecting his Nicole Richie impersonation....? This is a dilly of a pickle. I'm gonna give it to Lagerfeld, because I like his space mafia outfit. Pee-ass, Love Lindsay's new do.

Here's a seemingly normal fat man dressed as Elton John for Halloween, and Gangrene'd Vagina dressed like Bette Midler, or as I like to call her, "My Hero".

Mariah Carey, recording her upcoming stint on Sesame Street: "V is for Vaginally, That's Good Enough For Me."

Dakota Fanning, pissing off black women everywhere.

Wow, if Cillian Murphy's movie career doesn't tran out, he should try to spark some controversy on "America's Next Top Model: Cycle Menstrual."

A still from the upcoming sequel "Brokeback Mountain II: A Black Cowboy, A Tranny, and A Midget on a Bike." Camman... don't look so Ang Lee.

Here's the funny thing about Jamiroquai, the white British synthy-funk singer: He prefers to go by his "real name", Jay Kay. Which is geen. Because you could be all: "Hey! I bought the latest Jamiroquai CD! Jay Kaaaaaay.... what a douchebag." Jay Kay, Jay Kay, I'm a huge fan.

I'll give you a reason: Because it's Tuesday.

Rachel Weisz, posing next to a bedazzled stunt mannequin being used in her upcoming Holocaust thriller.

The clammy sweatmask says he's loaded, but the bowtie says he's got a little dick and won't know how to please you.