Understanding Your 4 Different Types of Children

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It’s funny that as a full-time, around-the-clock parent, I don’t read many parenting books. I dunno, maybe it’s because I’m too busy living it than making time to read about it. But after getting this parenting book as a gift, I was intrigued enough to crack the spine.

We’ve all marveled at how profoundly different each one of our children is; how they come to us with their own uniquely engineered personalities.

In “The Child Whisperer,” author Carol Tuttle acknowledges this fact and calls it an “energy profile your child was born with.” As a mom of four totally different kiddos, I can go along with that. Then Tuttle goes further to boldly claim that kids fall into four basic categories.

My initial instinct was to scream, “ONLY FOUR TYPES…ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU CAN’T STUFF A PERSON INTO ONE NEAT LITTLE BOX!” And still, after reading, I passionately oppose the idea that we all fall into a “type” or category. The human essence is just too beautifully complex for that. But Tuttle’s four types of energy profiles are intriguing enough to consider. Here are four types of children (and adults)—see if they carry any stock for your family.

The 4 Different Types of Children

Although children can exhibit all four types of personality traits, one is usually more dominant.

Type 1: The Fun-Loving Child

The fun-loving child is bubbly, bright, and social. They are full of ideas and are playful and animated. Sometimes their energy can be seen as a fault when they don’t want to sit still or when they interrupt you to share their ideas. But parents who recognize their pizzazz as a gift and not a flaw can help them develop into creative, happy adults.

The fun-loving child’s mantra is: I have a new idea and we can do it!

Some clues that you might have a fun-loving child:

They are curious and love to touch and explore.

They love to make noise, laugh, and play.

Creative/imaginative

Eager to please others–likes when others are happy and especially needs you to be happy.

May have many friends or change friends often.

The best way to connect with a fun-loving child:

Praise their good ideas and encourage them to share those ideas with others.

Learn to be okay when they start one thing and then change their minds. They are exploring what works for them.

Have fun with them! Get down on their level, toss a ball around with them, or join in their creative play.

Be grateful for the positive energy they bring to the family.

Give them the freedom to explore and test out their creativity and ideas.

Type 2: The Sensitive Child

The sensitive child has a naturally calm and easy-going personality. They are often called the “peacemaker” of the family because they don’t like conflict. The type 2 child is tender with emotions very close to the surface. They are generally quieter and are often asked to “talk louder” or “hurry up.” They do things on their own time.

A parent may get frustrated when they ask their type 2 child to clean his room and come back 15 minutes later to find it still not done. When you recognize your child’s innate “sensitive” personality, it helps you understand why they do the things they do.

The type 2 child’s mantra is: I will watch, observe, and then make a plan.

Some clues you might have a sensitive child:

They have built-in calm demeanor.

They like to plan and that planning can sometimes take a long time.

Type two children are worriers; they like to know what to expect in every situation so they can prepare for it.

Contention in the house greatly upsets them.

The best way to connect with a sensitive child:

Make them feel safe. Let them know you are there for them in any given situation.

Fill them in on the details. If you’re going into an unfamiliar situation, prepare them beforehand with what to expect.

Provide a peaceful place for them. Obviously, your house can’t be peaceful all the time, but have a room your sensitive child can go in when things get crazy.

Don’t push them to be more outgoing. They will try things at their own pace.

Type 3: The Determined Child

Oh boy, you know when you have a determined child on your hands because the type 3 child is the most noticeable. The determined child is naturally more physical, active, and…stubborn. He or she was born with a drive to get things done, usually in their own specific way. Type 3s are usually told to “calm down” or “stop being so demanding.”

The determined child’s mantra is: Let’s get results!

Some clues you might have a determined child:

They have a strong will.

They will pursue several big goals at once.

Determined types are naturally active and adventurous—they are ready to go, do, and explore!

Want to try leadership positions in school, home, or work.

Self-motivated rather than motivated by others.

Can be loud, forceful, or straight to the point (also seen as bluntly honest.)

The best way to connect with a determined child:

Try not to let your stubborn personality butt heads with their stubborn personality.

Instead of struggling to reign them in, try giving a determined child a bit more freedom to discover for herself.

Cheer them on in their goals!

Encourage their confidence and passion.

Instead of questioning, “Do you think that’s a good idea?” try offering: “I’m excited for you and I’m here to help! But have you ever thought about…”

Type 4: The Serious Child

A more seriously inclined child is logical, independent, and focused. People often marvel at how “mature they are for their age.” They are the authority on many matters and relish in perfection.

A serious child’s mantra is: Let’s see what this is, let’s analyze it, and I know a way to make it better.

Some clues you might have a serious child:

They are not as light and playful as other children.

They can be pretty rigid and inflexible when it comes to doing things.

He or she is an innate perfectionist.

Their ideas for ways to make something better often come across as criticism.

They like to arrange items (toy cars, crayons, etc.) in a specific row.

The best way to connect with a serious child:

Try relating to them mentally before emotionally. Understand what they are thinking rather than feeling.

Serious children crave adult respect; let them know you respect their thoughts and opinions.

When communicating, speak in logical terms that they will understand. Some kids respond to: “It would make me so happy if you cleaned your room..” but a serious kid will respond better to: “I need you to clean your room because it poses a danger of me tripping or twisting an ankle.

Ask for their opinions and solutions often.

So, what do you think? Are there only four types of kids and do any of your children fit these molds? I’m pretty sure I was a determined child and still am a determined adult. I’ll have to have a good chat with my parents on this one. Either way, it’s interesting to think about, isn’t it?

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About Nicolette

Is a freelance writer with a Bachelors degree in English from Utah State University. She is a full-time mom of four and loves the outdoors, being active, reading, writing, and observing the world from a unique perspective. You can follow her on Instagram at @nicmckinlay.

Comments

Love love love! We have 6 kids and it has been one of the biggest helps ever in understanding them. We’ve been utilizing Carol’s info for about 3 years now. I could go on and on with examples of where this information has been a blessing.

I do think that we all exhibit one of the 4 energies as our dominant energy. There is a lot of grey areas in personality but in the type of movement or energy– it makes sense! It’s helpful information to have.

It is really the opposite of putting people in a box. It allows individuals to fantastically bloom with specific care FOR THEIR NATURE that allows them to thrive. Additionally everyone does have all 4 types to varying degrees which still make them totally unique. Wish I knew about it when I was raising my son. Her adult program has been a hugely enhancing life changer–best anti-aging beauty system out there!

Reading ‘The Child Whisperer’ has forever changed my life and I how I interact with my children. I found it during a time when I felt like everyday with my children was a struggle, we just didn’t jive and I couldn’t figure out how to get them to listen to me or be more cooperative! My oldest daughter is a type 3 and I am a type 1, so I often felt like she was pushing me and making things more intense when I was trying to lighten everything up and make it more fun for me, this material helped our relationship the most. Through reading this book, discovering all of our energy types, and a lot of praying, I have been able to parent all of my children in a way they receive with understanding and appreciation. I can be true to myself and help them to be true to themselves instead of trying to change them to be more like me, which won’t ever work and I don’t really want to do anyway. I LOVE Carol Tuttle’s work and what this book has helped me do for myself and my family!

I have found Carol’s book to be very insightful. And while she talks about four energy types, because we are each made up of all four and it only lead with one of them, there are endless variations and that’s the beauty of what makes each of us unique.

Great summary of the book! This information has been a parenting game-changer for my husband and I. We have type 1 and 3s, and it helps me to see all that energy and drive as a gift and how to best motivate and challenge them…

I was introduced to Carol Tuttle and her ideas several years ago by a dear friend. My whole family has benefited from her ideas over and over. Being able to understand the ways my kids think that are different from how I think is so helpful in our relationships. I know that if one of my kids is having a rough time, she needs to be a lone for a few minutes to regroup, while another kid needs to be hung upside down and chased and tickled. Child Whispering has helped me lose the judgement, and be able to support and teach my kids in the way they need it.

I’m a mom of 7. It was clear to me from the beginning of my adventures in motherhood that children come with an innate energy. My children’s energy looks very different from mine and each other’s. Knowing energy profiling has been a huge positive for our relationships.

My four children are grown with children of their own, all of whom entered the world leading with the energy they still use. I wish I had known these things back then, as we were told then that our babies were blank slates upon which we could write, a myth. I am so thankful for Carol Tuttle’s work, as it opens doors of insight into not only my family, my students, but our communities everywhere promoting understanding and acceptance of each of our gifts. Thank you for reviewing her work.

This book has not only changed the way I parent, but has changed our marriage. We all have such a deeper understanding of eachother and honor our differences. I absolutely recommend it to everyone. Even if you don’t have children, it helps how you interact with everyone else in your life. We all have that inner child needing desperately to be seen and honored. We love Carol’s books!

I read The Child Whisperer a couple of years ago. I found it fascinating, but it took a few months of observing each of my children to determine their types. I started implementing a lot of Carol’s tips. Ifelt more in tune with myself and my children.

But time passed. My kids got older, and we had a cross-country move. Things were getting more difficult with my oldest children who are 10 and 11. I bought The Child Whisperer for myself for Mother’s Day. After a quick reread, I decided to discuss the 4 types with my 3 oldest children (adding my 6-year-old to the group.) I was ready the description for The Fun-Loving child while my 6 y/o was literally bouncing from couch to couch, making up a song. 😀

I reviewed each of the types with my older 2, asking them if they felt like there was 1 type in particular that spoke to them. I will never forget what followed. I spent nearly an hour talking with my boys about who they were as people and what they needed from me as a parent. It was incredible. We all learned a lot.

30 minutes after the conversation ended, my 11 y/o asked if he could talk to me. He had something he had been keeping to himself, but he said he felt like he could trust me a lot more after our prior conversation. This lead to another long conversation that strengthened our relationship even more.

I am so grateful to Carol for introducing energy profiling to me. I as a mother (and human) am forever changed by it.

I’ve been studying Carol’s book for 2 years and trying to wrap my head around the types and how to support those types instead of change them. I have 5 kids, all different, and so classic in their own types. I teach students grades 2-12 the last 13 years and I NOW SEE how to help them benefit and honor their needs in the classroom with better ways to help them than punish them or restrict them from their needs from the inside out. This is the most insightful study for ourselves, our families, and our communities.

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