If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

The second it is!!! Dennis, I'm super sorry, but I'm afraid majority rules. You know I(and the others)want you there, but hopefully you can make it next time. Again, super sorry to you and anyone that can't make it, but it seems to be OK with the most of every one. I'm working on a couple places where we can meet. In the meantime, if anyone has suggestions, let me know.
-Also, rather than texting or emailing anyone, I have a new email address, it's:Jimmy@jimmypshayes.com
-I'm cancelling the Batkid one at the end of this month, so please make a note of it.

- - - Updated - - -

****, I just noticed that we haven't heard from Grant, Sebby and a couple others. Grant & Brian, is 12/2 OK with you guys?

It must be nice using someone when they are able to help you out with something you need (like say obtaining figures for your collection when they aren't included in a sub and sell out quickly), only to kick them to the curb for otherwise no explicable reason when most items are included and those that aren't tend to stick around for a while. It's nice to know what kind of group this really is.

Oh, and don't worry, I don't expect any kind of actual response to this. At least not one with any kind of real substance to it. I've come to learn that rather than discussing an issue with the person one is having the issue with, many people here prefer to say nothing to them, pretend like everything is fine and okay to their face, then talk **** about them behind their back, and let relatively petty issues (that could have been easily resolved through a simple adult discussion) snowball into many people taking a larger issue with someone for almost no good reason at all.

It is unfortunate that you feel you were used. As one who has been around since the inception of this group, I think that many of us have gone out of our way at one time or another to help each other grow our collections. But nobody forces anyone to do this.

When I went to SDCC a few years ago everyone who asked me for a He-Ro got one, as well as anything else they asked me to get. I didn’t HAVE to go through the added hassle and expense to transport all of those figures back and stand in long lines to get what everyone needed. But when all was said and done, I didn’t feel used. I wanted to help. Years prior to that I took an all-night trip down south, stopping at every Walmart from here to Central Illinois to pick up 200x Teelas, Orkos and Mekanecks when they were first released. Again, nobody forced me to bring back anything. I remember specifically around the same time, Brad got me my first 200x Triklops and Trap Jaw and he became known as our group’s Toy Hunter since he spent so much time helping us all out. We all helped one other out from time to time. It is a basic part of what the group did; never forced and always done willingly.

But the faces and dynamic of the group have changed throughout the years and as a He-Man fan club, we really aren’t an organized formal group anymore. I’m fairly certain the last actual Chicago Horde meeting took place prior to Jimmy’s departure from Graham Crackers, but I could be wrong. What’s left is a small group of friends who still stay in touch.

We have moved on. Some of us have developed strong friendships through the years and still spend time together. Some of us more than others. Some don’t get invited to every outing, dinner, or movie night. Such is life. Friendships grow, evolve and sometimes die.

This message board is for all Chicagoland He-Man.org members. We don’t all know one another, we’re not all Chicago Horde members, and we’re not all friends.

Sometimes it stinks when we don’t get to be a part of something we want to be. Sometimes it’s difficult to look at the common denominator as to who may not be invited to outings and wonder why that is. I’m sure everyone has felt left out or like an outcast at one time in their life, especially when they don’t understand why they’re being excluded from something.

But you can’t force friendships, and ranting about it on Facebook or public message boards doesn’t help matters and won’t change things. It’s happened to me too, and sometimes you just have to move on and find other people who value you.

Here's kind of the issue from my standpoint. I thought that I was friends with at least most of you. And I'm fine with the dynamic changing and it just being about hanging out. What I don't get is what I ever did that is SO terrible that I'm pretty much the only one being consistently, 100% excluded in these recent get togethers.

Perhaps the rants weren't appropriate (I did delete the Facebook ones), but try to see this from my perspective. For most of my time with the Horde, I've felt like I'm walking on eggshells. People seem to take issue with me over the slightest, stupidest little thing, and then hold grudges over it. But I've seen other members of the group do things that are arguably comparatively A LOT worse and no one gives it a second thought, or with it being much more easily forgiven (I make no apologies for posting this in this thread since other people have started previous 'blow ups' in this thread in far harsher manners than this... though I'm sure it will be seen as worse for me to post this here since there are double standards that only seem to apply to me, making any minor thing I do completely unforgivable). Early on when I first joined, only the stactions were around (which everyone could order through the store), so there was no MOTU related hunting going on, and I wasn't collecting most of the other things that several people were, so any help I could provide with that was minimal, and so it was hard to fit in. When the opportunity to help everyone out came along, I was glad to do it despite some of the hassles associated with it. It was my chance to really help everyone out and prove that I'm not only a member of the club, but a friend. And I felt that I did that. There seemed to be a lot of positive response.

Then as things changed and the meetings became less and less consistent (and my help wasn't as needed since roughly around this same time more items were easy to get since more were included in the subs and the non-sub items in general haven't been selling out as fast), I've often been the one posting on here saying "hey, we should all get together", with little or no response. And apparently all along people have been getting together, hanging out without me. I guess I just don't understand how we got from "A" to "B" on that. I really don't know what I did that is so terrible that I'm the outcast.

All I ever wanted was to be friends with some people with some common interests, and I thought what better than a group of He-Man fans? But as it became more and more evident that these things were happening without me, I got frustrated. I thought it was a good sign when Darrel joined Facebook and sent me a friend request. But then anytime I would comment on his page, etc, I never got any kind of response from him, though he was often quick to reply to everyone else's posts. Henry (who I have nothing against) basically falls off the face of the earth for 3 years, then comes back out of the wood work, and he's accepted right back into the fold as if nothing happened. Yet I've been around consistently helping people out, and somehow I'm the outcast.

Stop for a minute, and REALLY think about this from my perspective. About the time that the meetings became less consistent and stopped entirely (and we were getting together with good frequency for at least a little while after we stopped meeting at the comic shop) is roughly the same time that my "services" were no longer needed. Then over the last couple/few months, I've become more pivy to these other get togethers that I'm not included in. How am I not supposed to feel used, upset, and insulted? Yes, I know that some people were already hanging out together outside of the actual meetings even back when we were having them, but it wasn't to this extent and didn't include this many people.

While I appreciate the cordial tone of your response, Grant, I think you are overstating the changes in the "dynamics" of the group. It's not like the people in the group are significantly different than when I joined a little over 6 years ago. Most everyone in the group now was part of it then. And almost all of them were at your little get together. The only difference is that you are getting together at people's houses and now including wive/girlfriends. Also, you compare you and Brad helping out people in the past and not feeling "used." That hardly makes for any kind of remote accurate comparison considering you are both still included in pretty much everything now. Also for any former Horde members that predate my time who left, let's face facts on that. In general they chose to leave for one reason or another (whether it was for good or bad reasons). The group was basically the same, THEY left. On the other hand, I never really "left". I've been all about getting together, hanging out, etc. I've posted saying so many times. You guys chose not to include me. For a while I figured people were mostly doing their own thing with the same small handful of people who already hunt out together outside of the Horde getting together. Over the past few months I came to discover (largely thanks to FB posts linking everyone who is hanging out together that show up right in my news feed) that the case was quite different, and most of you guys are getting together rather regularly. THAT's the difference. The people who previously left did so of their own choosing and knew the score when it happened. I never "left." I've just been silently "weeded out", for the most part being none the wiser until a few months ago when I became suspicious, and then got angry, and defriended several people on FB. What has happened here frankly doesn't compare to the examples you've given. I've been disrespected, rather blatantly. And that's the thing... just because it's done silently and behind my back doesn't mean it isn't blatant and doesn't justify it. Frankly it's rude and childish, and anyone involved should be ashamed of themselves for treating another human being in this manner.

I'm sure there was a lot of stuff said about me last night (and it probably wasn't the first time), and what bothers me is if people have issues with me, they don't ever seem to take it up with me. Instead they keep it to themselves, complain behind my back, and let it fester into something bigger than it ever had to be. I joined up with the genuine best of intentions, I helped everyone out with the genuine best of intentions, yet I am consistently treated like this. I don't think "Why" is an unreasonable question to ask.

Why am I such a terrible person to be friends with? What have I done that is so horrible? Why is it so hard to get a straight answer on this? It doesn't have to be here, but via PM, GB private message, or whatever. I always thought you and I were cool, Grant. Honestly, you were amongst those who I was most hesistent to defriend on FB, but I got frustrated with what seemed to be consistent get togethers involving almost everyone but me (since people post about it, etc, and I get it right in my 'news feed'), but maybe I'm wrong. What was I supposed to say, do, and think? I should just sit back quietly and take it?

Yeah, I didn't handle things the best way last night. But in all honesty, you have no idea how gut wrenchingly insulting and depressing that was. I was VERY depressed when that went down, and I got almost no sleep last night because if it. If people simply don't want me around, then I'd rather someone just tell me (even though that would be depressing as well) than do this silent nonsense. I may not have handled things like that well, but the way the "message" has been delivered to me wasn't handled well either. And individually I know of several members of the group who (even recently) claimed to be cool with me, yet this happens. So it raises the question is it really the majority who feels this way, or a few select members with a lot of 'clout' pushing this, or are the people who claim to have no issue with me blowing smoke up my ass?

I think I deserve a proper explanation. Not that I think I will get one. Discussing things like adults has never really been a staple amongst this group.

Enough!

First off, and this has nothing to do with you, Brandon, well, it kind of does. I am SICK and TIRED of this group getting a reputation for being *******s. It is unfounded and unjust. The first time that I can remember that we were bad mouthed, was with Ty and his outrageous demands for adding gas money to the price of figures because he has an SUV. NO ONE else was doing this, and God knows that Brad, Grant and some other wasted TONS of money on gas to help us all out, so we stopped buying figures from him, then he proceeded to go elsewhere on the forums and tell people what *******s we were.

And now, this. First, let me be a jerk and say I'm SO glad I'm not on Facebook. I understand that the general feeling on everyone's part is that the group has fallen apart since I left Graham Crackers. Let me say, for THIS I'm sorry. I am NOT sorry about leaving Graham Crackers, in fact, it was the best thing I've ever done. No more bounced paychecks! I stated on SEVERAL occasions that you guys are MORE than welcome to meet there, you'd have to take it up with Rick, but that's fine with me. I will NOT be joining you for obvious reasons, but again, that's fine. It's my choice and I'm fine with it. I'm working on a couple things on the Horde because I BELIEVE there is a future for this group and I think it's a good one. We've got a LOT of stuff coming up, and I know a lot of us had a great time doing things like Snake Mountain day, He-Man day, ect. Not only were we socializing, but we were spreading the word about a property that is near and dear to all of us.

As far as your feelings of being the ONLY one that has been "used", you've got another think coming. I too, have been left out of countless things. Bottom line, you CAN NOT control what people do outside of the group. If Dennis(ONLY using him as an example)wants to have a party, it's up to him who he invites. When I left Graham Crackers a LOT of people from the group stopped talking to me. A. LOT. At one point, I was very discouraged about this, and someone said to me "It sounds like now that you have nothing for them, they don't want to bother with you" That was a slap in the face. Again, there is NOTHING you can do if someone has a private party. You CAN'T force people to invite you to things, nor should you expect it. Horde meeting are and always have been open to everyone. What people do in their own private time is theirs to do with as they please and hang out with whomever they please. You want specifics? I got 'em. (and apologies to bringing anyone else into this, but I'm going full tilt because of the nature of this "argument") the week after I left Graham Crackers Brad and Darrell starting meeting up at the store and going out to dinner. In almost 3 years of them doing that I've been invited exactly 5 times. That's FIVE times. FIVE. V in Roman numerals. So, 52 weeks in a year for 2&1/2 years, that's 5 for 130. Yeah, that hurts. BUT, who they invite out to dinner is THEIR choice and it's none of my business. They all went to see Wreck it Ralph a little bit ago, I didn't get invited, but guess what? I'm still alive. Darrell has even texted me pictures of him out with other Horde members to things I wasn't invited to. My feelings hurt? Yeah, but it's not the end of the world. Again, HORDE MEETINGS are open to everyone. Always have been, always will be. Private parties that people have at there home? Not so much. I think I've got my point across. Don't get my wrong, I love all my Horde "brothers" and always will. I've also done things outside of work and not asked them to join me. And I'm sure that YOU have too. I don't recall getting an invite so go see Back to the Future with you when you went and got to meet Doc Brown. And that's OK.

Also, Brandon, I don't know about yours but my phone makes OUTGOING calls as well as incoming. I can SEND an email as well as receive them. If you have a problem with someone, what's stopping you from simply asking that person what's up? All this public "Horde members are *******s" is tired, we've been through it before and I'm done with it, and it should taken up between you and the person that you feel wronged you. I WILL NOT stand for ANYMORE of this being discussed in a public forum.

I don't want to drag this out much farther than it has already gone, so I'll simply make this point. You are right, Jimmy, that everyone has the right to invite who they do and don't want to their own private events. And in that sense, fair is fair, and I even agree to an extent. None the less, this particular case does stand out amongst the rest given that it was pretty much the entire group except for me. That is a pretty direct, specific slap in the face. There's a difference between a small handful of the group members getting together, saying "hey, why don't we go see this movie?" and doing their own thing and not inviting everyone (with many people generally being left out for no specific reason) ... and inviting specifically "Everyone Minus So-And-So." And it's further rubbed in with 'obligitory facebook updates' advertising that this is happening.

I have a terrible schedule. I started work today at 1:45 am and didn't get done until almost 1:30 pm.
Some days are easier. My days off are Wednesday and Sunday. Sometimes I have to even work those days. I've always said that no one should base anything off of my schedule. Majority rules. I wouldn't feel left out. If I can make it, I can make it. If not, have a blast without me.

If groups want to get together and do their own thing, I'm ok with that. I'm sure we all have friends outside of this.

Definitely pipe bomb worthy. I'm also gonna chime in on this situation but my rant won't be anywhere near as long, because I agree with a lot of what Jimmy said. Before I begin, if I ever made you feel excluded Jimmy, I want to apologize. You have been a great friend throughout the years and I consider myself to be lucky that you're in my life.

Growing up, I never really had a group of friends. I always had friends throughout school but there were very few that I could really say were my "friends". Back when I joined the group in June of 2003, it was because of our mutual likes of all things He-Man. Its become more than just He-Man that bonds me with you guys. Anybody that wants to call my friends anything derogatory can kiss my @$$. Real friends are there for you when you get your heart broken by someone that you, at one point, truly felt like you were going to be with forever. And there were times where I may not have held up my end of the deal, but I was given another chance to show where my loyalties were, and I'd like to think I have made the most of that opportunity. So once again, if you're going to call my friends *******s or anything along those lines, you can bite me and kiss my @$$.

As for Brandon, since you're gonna call us out, I am going to return the favor and call you out. Remember back at Red Robin, when I made change for you? It took Darrell saying something and you counting your money at least ten times before I finally got my money back. How do think that made me feel?

What about the time you made some cases for a member who I will not name, without even asking if he wanted them, and then charging him for that? That's pretty sad. Oh and like 45 seconds after he paid you, you went up to him asking if he gave you your money.

I'm done with my ranting, but I am going to end on a positive note. To everyone who is still part of the Horde, I want to say thank you for your friendship throughout these past 9 and a half years. You guys and gals mean the world to me and I value each and every moment we hang out. I look forward to many more years of friendship.

As for Brandon, since you're gonna call us out, I am going to return the favor and call you out. Remember back at Red Robin, when I made change for you? It took Darrell saying something and you counting your money at least ten times before I finally got my money back. How do think that made me feel?

I honestly can't say that I specifically recall this, nor have I ever purposely tried to rip off you or anyone else by purposely keeping money that I was supposed to give back.

Most likely, if anything, I was probably tired, and combined with the noise, talking, etc, in the restaurant, lost track and kept losing count.

Do you happen to recall what time of year it was (I'm seriously asking)? I know this is going to sound like a "lame excuse" that I'm coming up with, but the following is 100% true.... for the past few summers (dating back to about 2009 being my first recollection of this happening in any REALLY major way) I've been getting some really bad allergies. Some members of the group may recall me making reference to not feeling good at times. For a while I wasn't sure what was going on... I don't really get a runny nose or sneeze a lot, but I get really swollen and congested, sometimes getting low grade fevers that frankly knock me on my ass and having a general "foggy headed" feeling. I've also had asthma symptoms in the past, though luckily this year they weren't as bad. It makes getting through the work day rough (though I manage), and by the time I'm done, I'm worn out and my head just feels like its in a daze. I even starting having problems during last year/earlier this year's really mild winter when things started warming up to spring and near-summer temperatures.

You ever see my skin? I have psoriasis, a pretty severe case of it. It is an inflammatory condition. You may not be familiar with it, but it's essentially where the immune system is "out of whack" and attacks things that it should be protecting (i.e. my skin in this case). I also have some arthritis symptoms at times (also an inflammatory condition). I'm on these special Enbrel injections that help suppress the immune system to try to reduce these symptoms (it's helps a lot with the arthritis, though my skin still struggles a lot). Allergies are also an inflammatory condition (hence the congestion and swelling that I get). Yes, people who don't have my skin condition can (and do) get allergies and arthritis, though the degree of which can very. But people who have severe cases of psoriasis or other really severe inflammatory condition tend to be more prone to developing others. Not to get too personal, but I'm actually going in for some testing about a week from now for some testing on another condition that I may have beyond all of these.

Getting back to my point about the allergies... I didn't even realize that it was allergies for a long time since I wasn't sneezing or having a major runny nose. Upon realizing it to be sinus relate, my general doctor was prescribing some nasal spray that honestly didn't do much. I finally (after a long tangent of trying to figure out what's going on) went to see an allergist to get some testing done a few months ago, was given some different medication, and it helped improve things quite a bit. I'm not 100% on it, but I am much better by comparison.

That was a long tangent there, but the point boils down to that for at least roughly 3-4 months out of the year (a fairly significant part of it), sometimes more (last "winter" being an extreme example), I'm dealing with these allergies. And they do effect my concentration. By the end of the day, I'm tired and my concentration is shot (like when we used to meet up on a Friday night after I had been at work all day). I can lose my concentration easily, and from time to time I may even forget what I was doing just a couple of minutes beforehand before my concentration shifted to something else. If this event you are referring to, which I honestly don't specifically recall, happened when it was late, I was tired, we were in a noisy, busy restaurant with a lot of conversation & distraction going on around us, AND if it was during a time of year when I was having these problems, I may well have kept losing my concentration when converting the change and counting the money "10 times" as you claim I did. I don't recall this specifically, but it does sound like something I might do when I'm tired, not feeling well, and especially when my allergies are acting up. It certainly was never with the intention of ripping you off.

Honestly, with all due respect, that is kind of a silly conclusion to come to for a few reasons. Think about it. I was charging at times hundreds of dollars on my credit card in a single order worth of MOTUC figures to help out anyone in the group who wanted/needed my assistance. Aside from rounding off any odd change for the sake of simplicity when exchanging the figures for cash, I NEVER overcharged anyone (even split up the shipping charge evenly so no one is hit with the bulk of it), or asked for anything extra for my time or hassle put into it. So, I do all of this, put that kind of money on my credit card to help everyone out, asking for nothing in return aside for reimbursement on what I spent, and you honestly think that I would genuinely try to rip you off for a few dollars worth of change? With all due respect Dennis (because I do think you are a nice guy and I really don't have any kind of grudge or issue with you), how devoid of sheer common sense does someone have to be to actually think that?

And if this was something that upset you, Darrell, or anyone else, why not bring it up and discuss it with me? I could have given you this explanation a long time ago.

Frankly if THIS is the kind of stuff that people are taking issue with me about (which I assume it must be and has probably been brought up many times when I'm not around if it is still something you remember this well) and getting upset over, this actually proves the very point that I've been making. People are taking simple, silly little things with a simple explanation, and rather than discussing them with me, they get upset, bringing them up over and over again, making them into a bigger issue than they actually ever were or could ever actually be, and holding a grudge against me over it. I never meant to upset you or insult you, Dennis. This is about as silly as silly can be. I mean, seriously (I HAVE to reiterate this point), if this truly, truly is an example of the kinds of things you guys are getting upset over, it's so petty and laughable that it defies description. I've always said that if someone has an issue with me, please discuss it with me. This could have been resolved A LONG time ago. I have a feeling that we would probably all be friends right now and this whole mess wouldn't have happened if some of you would have just done that in the first place.

What about the time you made some cases for a member who I will not name, without even asking if he wanted them, and then charging him for that? That's pretty sad. Oh and like 45 seconds after he paid you, you went up to him asking if he gave you your money.

With all honesty and sincerity, I have no recollection of what you are talking about here Dennis. I don't recall even making any "cases" for anybody. What kind of cases? DVD cases? I know I've made and printed up some case inserts for my own personal use... I don't recall doing so for anyone in the group, let alone charging them for it. Can you give me some more specific info on this event? I'm glad to admit that the transaction, itself happened if I can actually remember it. I certainly don't recall asking anyone for money for something that they did not want or agree to buy from me (if something like this happened, perhaps there was a misunderstanding where I thought someone wanted the item in question, but they had may just expressed general interest?). And as far as this "45 seconds" thing goes, if that truly happened, it may have been for similar reasons as my lengthy explanation above..... I may have shifted my focus onto something else, or some other conversation, and afterwards forgot if he paid me. I honestly tend to do things like that sometimes... not intentionally, but it happens. My wife can attest to that.

I certainly didn't do anything with the intent of upsetting anyone, and if these are things that really upset people, I wish you had discussed it with me at that time. To quote Adam Sandler from The Wedding Singer, "Once again, things that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!!!!!!!"

Having said that, I am glad that you brought this up (even though I don't recall these events) as it gives me some frame of reference as to what kind of issues people are taking with me, and where the misunderstanding is occurring. If you would just discuss these things with me, these things could easily be resolved.

Also Dennis, I relate to a lot of what you said about your childhood. I had similar experiences. I got picked on a lot, and I usually only had one or two good friends at any given time. I was an only child back then (I was in high school when my sister was born). And when I was in 7th grade, one of the few really close friends that I had died. High school was kind of rough, too. I was socially akward and reluctant (given that I had been picked on when I was younger), so making friends and trusting people wasn't easy. It was around the end of my freshman year/start of my sophmore year that my skin condition first started up, so that only made matters worse. I did make some friends, a couple of whom I am still in contact with to this day, but like you, I never had a big group of friends back then. And me generally having "geeky" interests didn't help things overall.

So when I joined the Horde, I was hoping to have a nice, big group of friends with common interests (or in other words, basically what you have gotten out of it, Dennis). But unfortunately my experience has been a little different.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!! I didn't even go out on Black Friday, cause there was nothing that I was looking for, but I'll probably buy some things tomorrow. And I know I mentioned this earlier, but here's the link for the He-Man/She-Ra Christmas sweater. All Horde members with significant others are encouraged to get this and wear it to there girl's Christmas part!....so we NEVER have to go again!!!http://www.80stees.com/products/He-M...ux-Sweater.asp
-I can't remember 100% if 80's tees has Cyber Monday deals, but I'm pretty sure they do. They also give out coupon codes when you sign up for their email, I believe. He-Man-She-Ra-Christmas-Faux-Sweater.jpg