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Beyoncé bedazzles at the BRITs with a classy performances of "XO"

The Amazonion android empress from the kingdom of lost wigs better known as Beyoncé graced London with her presence to perform at the BRIT awards 2014. Home girl did not stick around, as moments after she performed she Instagrammed a picture of herself on a private jet flying the f**k out. But at least she bothered to turn up. In the 5 minutes Beyoncé was on the stage doing...well...not very much - she shitted on every other female act who performed on the night. Ellie Goulding, Katy Perry and Lorde may not have realised it on the night, but they were several clumps of hair short by the time they went home.

Beyoncé's stint at the BRIT marked the first televised performance of her Ryan Tedder produced single "XO". Although the Beyhive will know that this isn't the first time B has performed the song, as she began to work it into her Mrs. Carter world tour set list a mere days after her album dropped out of absolutely nowhere.

"XO" isn't my favourite song off of Beyoncé's self titled surprise, but this performance of it was really nice. That dress was sparkling like f**k to the point where I was almost convinced Beyoncé had somebody CGI'ing and putting filters on the broadcast footage in real time. I was in the mood for Beyoncé to whip on a Kenzo body suit and pop her vagina to "Grown woman" whilst Les Twins came out in leopard print suits and threw cans of Pepsi into the crowd. But I commend her for toning things down and hitting us with some class after that ratchet ass Grammy performance of "Drunk sex" (which I really liked).

On a slightly un-related note, those screens Beyoncé had on stage for this performance of "XO" are what Perfume should have had when they performed "1mm" on their 4th tour in dome. I don't know who signed off on that performance in darkness shit.