Long marriages: The Ballards have learned to cherish every minute

View full sizeBruce Ely/The OregonianBob Ballard, with wife, Nona, on what makes a marriage last: "You've got to learn to compromise."

Bob and Nona Ballard were married in Dallas, Oregon, on May 23, 1937 -- Nona's birthday.

Bob, 99, served with the Army Timberwolves in World War II -- he was awarded the Bronze Star -- and was the McMinnville postmaster for 30 years. Nona, 97, ran a children's facility called Aunt Nona's Nursery School.

The couple have three children, including one daughter who passed away, and three grandchildren.

For this continuing series of profiles of long -- and happy -- marriages in Oregon, the Ballards shared their secrets to success in an interview in their McMinnville home. How did you first meet?

Bob: I was working in the post office. After I graduated from college, I couldn't find a job anywhere, and I took the civil service exam for a vacant clerk position here in the McMinnville Post Office. ... So I got a job in the post office. I was a clerk at the window, and she was working at a bakery. And she'd come into the post office.

Nona: I was mailing letters to China, because I had a boyfriend that had gone to China. And (Bob) would say, "You don't need to mail these letters if you don't want to." And (he) laughed and (would) kid me about it. ... And then he got to coming in the bakery and wanting a milkshake.

Bob: I asked her for a date there in the bakery. That's the way we got started going together.

Nona: Our first date! He asked me for this date to go to a dance. And we started out and his (car) lights didn't work. So he put me on the fender with a flashlight! That was my first date. I didn't think much of it, either.

Nona: Well, it was during the Depression. (Bob) and I went out and we cut wild dogwood and really decorated this beautiful, brand-new church. And we went back to look at it, and they had all wilted! The preacher gave us artificial things and greenery so we decorated that way. But everyone was so good at that time. Giving and taking, you know, more so than they are now. So everybody gave, and everybody had a wonderful time.

So, what happened to that boyfriend in China?

Nona: Well, he wanted to marry me real bad. He turned out to be a professor. And he came the day before I was married and wanted to take me away. But I didn't go. (Bob) liked to fish, and he liked to hunt. And I was brought up on it. And so I said, "No." Because (the boyfriend) was in music and books and I knew I would get terribly tired of it.

What interests do you have in common?

Bob: I love to hunt and fish, and she's fished with me for years. We took a trip to Canada fishing. We've got a cabin on the coast. We've enjoyed years and years over there, on the Salmon River.

Nona: He belongs to the Masons, and I belonged to the Eastern Star. ... I was mother adviser for the McMinnville Rainbow Girls, that was in the Order of the Eastern Star. And I had those girls 19 years.

Bob: I'm a 60-year Mason. They're presenting me with my 60-year pin.

Did you ever think your marriage wouldn't last?

Nona: I think it's that way with every marriage.

Bob: You weren't ready to kick me out?

Nona: That's a hard question. There's many a day I'd have liked to (kick him out). (laughs)

Bob: A lot of days, she probably would have liked to! ... It's been happy all the way. She and I have had our ups and downs, but all marriages do.

Nona: At this age, you really love one another more than you ever did, and you respect one another more. Because you know that your time will come, that that will be broken. So we just cherish every minute of it. What was the most difficult challenge you've faced as a couple?

Nona: It was when Bob was called into the service. I think that was rather difficult for both of us.

Bob: It was 4 1/2 years.

Nona: But when he had furloughs, then I got pregnant.

Bob: Left her with three little kids to raise. ... She hadn't been driving very long. I was stationed at Camp Carson, Colorado. I had a new car that I hadn't had too long ... but she knew I was going overseas. She took those three little kids and drove through to Denver alone in that car. And I was sweatin' it out all the way. I met her in Denver, but she made it all right.

Nona: I had it all planned, and I had mapped it out with the man at the garage -- just where I would stay at night, how far I would go. And I had a bed in the car for the kids, and their little suitcases for each one. I got along fine.

Bob: I went overseas in 1942, I think it was. I was in combat over there for 13 months. Never broke contact with the Germany army. (We) went clear across Europe (and) met the Russians on the Elba River. (We) had the Germans in a squeeze and they finally threw in the towel and surrendered. That was quite an experience! I got back home in July 1945. When we came back, we were just waiting to go in on an amphibious landing on Japan. That would have been it. I probably wouldn't be here today if that had happened. Harry Truman dropped the bomb, thank God, and ended this thing before I had to go in there on that. An amphibious landing on the Sea of Japan? That would have been brutal. What is your secret to a long and happy marriage?

Bob: I can tell you right quick on that. To make a marriage last, you've got to learn to compromise. You can't do it your way and hope that she does everything your way. You just can't do that. We were always able to compromise.

Nona: That's a lot of it.

Bob: And we come to an agreement that satisfies us both. ... You've got to do what she wants to do some of the time, and she's got to do what you want to do. That's the best advice I can give.

Nona: Well, I think that's a good idea. I'll keep that in mind. (They both laugh.)