Thanks for visiting, aside from being a wife and mum I run Tin Tiara, a handmade jewellery and candle business. We stock a large range of handmade gemstone jewellery, cutlery jewellery, soy candles and melts and Folded book art. My blog is where we can get to know each other. I can teach you and you can teach me.

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Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Kids, Step-Kids, Blended Families and Babies...

Yep, that's how you keep yourself busy.

Now that I have your attention, parenthood, its not easy.

Are you doing it right?

Am I being a good enough parent?

These are all doubts that go through every parents head.

Its simple, are you feeding, clothing and loving your children like they are the only things that matter in your world. If so, yep! You are doing it right.

Yep, we are the modern version of this.

Our home is a blended family. I am with my second and forever partner. I have 2 children to my first husband and he has two to his prior wife. We are yet to be married however we also have 1 child together.

I have heard people say that's 5 children don't you think you should stop? Yes we will, when we are ready.

Our children all get the most of the time we have with them because we realize they won't always be there, and they do grow up. When all 5 are home at the same time its hectic to say the least, and too damn quiet when they are gone.

So here comes the parenting survival tips.

If you have a blended family you need to be aware that although you will support and love the children like your own, they aren't, you need to be on the same page with rules and parenting and discipline, but its up to your partner to make the final call and even if you don't support it, you need to support the decision. Offer your opinion, but back it up with reason.

If you were lucky enough to choose the right partner first time around, the above still applies, but talk over decisions and problems and rules, find the compromise that works.

Have fun with your partner, whatever it may be.

Make time for each other, it doesn't matter if its an actual date, or 30 mins each night with a drink and a chat, it needs to be quality time to be a couple, and I don't mean making love, I mean enjoying each others friendship, maybe its getting up 30 mins earlier to have a cup of coffee together without junior interruptions,taking a shower together before bed, putting down that work that can wait an extra day just to ask how your partner is going.

If your children are small don't expect your home to be perfect unless you have the money to afford a housekeeper, the world won't end if you haven't had a chance to put that load of washing away, or the bathroom hasn't been cleaned yet, if your partner works, don't wait for them to get home and then turf the children at them, they need a break to, and ask don't expect.

"Hey hunny, can you take (insert child's name here) off my hands its been a crappy day and I just need a break? Grab a drink and a seat first though. Let me know when your ready"

Is going to get you alot further in a more happy fashion than, "

its been a really long day, take (child's name) off my hands before I lose it."

*Notice I wasn't gender specific, I don't mind which parents are home with the children, but someone needs to be. I am lucky enough that we are both home and do just take it in turns.

And don't forget its one thing to ask older children to help out, its another to need them to raise the younger, its not their job, and its not their problem that you chose to have more than one child.

My partner and I chat over a coffee, we love it.

Now this is just a small amount of advice, and simply my opinion, but having been in a fairly nasty relationship for 10 years and now having found my soulmate, (which I didn't believe in until now), I hope I can help someone else in their journey.

As always, post any questions in the comments it might even become the topic of my next blog,