Breaking News: Prince Survives Being Nearly Eaten Alive By A Hippo

Tragedy nearly struck yesterday morning as music legend, Prince, was caught wandering in the natural habitat of the animal kingdom’s most vicious and hungry monstrosities, much to the delight of onlooking menopausal wildebeasts.

Luckily, using his cunning reflexes, Prince was able to escape. We have the scary footage of Prince excusing himself right as what scientists have classified as a Sherri Shepherd (Species: Starjonesius Gravynus) tried to devour the frail singer at the three-minute mark.

Are you delusional? I don’t care what you think about Michael Jackson. He had panty droppers in places you do not even know existed baby. Women all ages and if you don’t think he had that much pull in the ‘Good Ole U.S.A’. stretch your mind a little more, if you can, and know it was on full blast internationally. The women no matter what people had to say about his face or appearance found him sexy. He only had to wave that finger and they were dropping and fainting like flies. They would not only drop panties but strip off their clothes and rape him if they could of had the chance.