I'm bewildered!

While hiking along the banks of Hamble River this morning at about 7 am, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the river. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying. Along with him was a Jamaican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. I knew if they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.

Being a responsible citizen and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the Police and the County Council

It is now 8 pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.