I had the opportunity to join some couples for dinner the other night. There was one other lady there who was single as well and the questions began in the “getting-to-know-you” phase.

I was all right with this because the questions were being tossed out to the couples as well. They made the honest mistake of asking where our husbands were and the other lone adult replied that she was divorced for nine years now and ran the family business, which offered her a lot of freedom and time with her children.

I informed them that I was widowed and made the decision to stay home with my children now because I was being stretched too thin with working outside the home and all the responsibilities laid at my feet when my husband died. Someone in the conversation then brought up the comment that I was probably having a difficult time all around because I was in “that” group.

I shook my head and said, “Excuse me? What group?”

She replied that I was widowed, over 40 (she didn’t know how much), had children at home and was what most would call desperate, dateless, and quite vulnerable to the wolves. (Can you feel the love?)

Yikes! I had no idea! Ignorantly, I tended to look at this time as a period of adjustment. Yes, I miss my husband, but like the saying goes, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” I had that and may have it again someday. I am open to it.

Yet I also know that I may be alone as well. So what? Whenever I am faced with any change in my life, I look to the possibilities.

I have my down times in which I may fret or complain, but I don’t like to dwell on them because I truly believe that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every piece of negative, we can make it into a positive, a growth and a change for new opportunities.

I don’t mean to sound like Pollyanna here, but why would I want to walk around miserable? I’d like to think I am a little more practical than that.

Honestly, I could go to my old standby here, Jeremiah 29:11, in which God assures us He has plans to prosper us, but I use that quite a bit. It’s become something of a mantra.

I am not looking to be rolling in piles of money with the prosperity issue, either. I am thinking plans of making me helpful towards His kingdom’s work or leaving some sort of beneficial legacy.

The scripture that comes to mind is this: “For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

It is another of my standbys. I am not always there, but it is the better road to travel in life.

Ask yourself, “What good can I get and pass on out of this?” And then go there.

For me, I am still working on it, but that is the desire of my heart in all that comprises my life’s journey.