Suddenly Buddhist

Fake-ass. Paris Hilton’s lawyers have advised her to stay on the straight and narrow during their attempts to keep her from being sodomized with a mop handle in the joint. She’s challenged as hell so she took this to mean she should take up religion or actually just get photographed carrying religious books around. What are you – Amelia Bedelia? She’s now onto Buddhism. To quote Morrissey – she could make a shy bald Buddhist reflect and plan a mass murder.

The hotel heiress – who has been sentenced to 23 days in jail for driving with a suspended licence – was seen in Hollywood’s Bodhi Tree bookstore picking up a spiritual tome.

Earlier this week, ‘The Simple Life’ star was spotted clutching the Bible and a self-help manual.

Lawyers for Paris, 26, have told the socialite she needs to “live like a nun” if she has any chance of evading jail. Paris has told friends she is quitting alcohol and partying and has replaced her skimpy outfits with a new demure look.

Man, she’s so transparent. She’s almost a cartoon. Why doesn’t she just run around in a habit and wimple? That’ll fool em’! Or maybe a tinfoil halo and some fake wings. I’m sure she has those outfits lying around from some homemade porn she did.

While I’m sure everyone loved the Morrisey reference, it’s the Amelia Bedelia one that got me! Hahaha, ever read the one where they told her to prune the hedges, so she put prunes in the hedges. Ahhh, classic.