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heather.

Easy come. Easy go. That's what you are. That's what you've chosen to become. And that's what I'm privileged to endure. All those years of coming out strong, of being always in control, of being an object of intimidation, has become nothing but a fading dust in the wind.

Some say it's normal. Some say it's not. Some think it's foolishness. Some believe it's cowardice. Some others don't give a damn. Guess what, I don't really care. I used to be so sure of what I wanted, and what I didn't. I used to be not so transparent, and as much as possible objective in dealing with my own emotions. I used to laugh at those girls mooning over something they couldn't have. I used to be too practical not to pine myself to the unattainable. I used to be careful that when it comes to love - I always win. Well if I don't, at least I don't let anybody get on my nerves and see me lose the fight. I used to be...............................................................not until you happened.

You have become my refuge, so strong I've become so weak. You have become my dream, so amazing I've become an understatement. You have become my light, so brilliant that I've faded. You have become my everything, so much more I've become nothing. You made me believe for a moment, that every single thing between the two of us is worth all the wait...that every single pain is nothing compared to the laughter and glee I once was very proud of...that every shed of tears I've wasted would be my ticket to having you once again. I could have been like that for the longest time possible, for as long as you have wanted me to be. But everything I've hold on to just kept on slipping off my hand. I've been ripped off, left naked and cold for everybody else to see what I've been so delicate about.

Been tainted with a smear of confusion, trapped in a world of bewilderment, torn between incomprehension and pure dullness. Poor fragile little thing - from innocence to vulnerability to numbness. I've gotten myself into a state of complexity I myself couldn't even fathom. Been like this, been like that...let the day drift away and pass quickly...for all I know I've already been past it.

Some say it's normal. Some say it's not. Some think it's foolishness. Some believe it's cowardice. And I don't give a damn. Because easy come easy go - that's what I am. That's what I've chosen to become. You may have given up so easily, but I'm on my way through it. And this time, I'm not letting anybody disturb my peace again. I'm not letting anybody come in between my coming out strong. I'm not letting anybody ruin the self control I once was sure to have. I'm not letting anybody intimidate me one more time. What used to be a fading dust in the wind will firmly hold its place to the ground. After all, what goes around, comes around. This goes to show one thing -
it's who I've always been and always will be - I still am HEATHER.