(Note: In the ongoing attempt to find ways of monetizing Awkward Press, we’ve decided to change business models from fiction publishing to content farming. From here on out, this site will focus on informative articles that will result in high rankings on search engines and lead to increased ad revenue.

Many thanks to our first sponsor, Dick Pasta. If you’re interested in advertising on awkwardpress.com, please contact us with your name, number, and a list of topics you would like us to write about in relation to your product. If you would like us to review your product, please include any “no-nos” and/or specific language you would like us to work into our unbiased analysis.

Steps:
1) Get alive. Upon birth, most humans are automatically preconfigured with a hard, keratin-based protective shell that covers the ends of their 7-10 fingers (known as fingernails) and 8-19 toes (toenails). (Please note: this primer will not focus on the toenails, as our sponsor Dick Pasta found the subject of toenails icky and not in-keeping with the fun, party-friendly nature of their erotic line of pasta products.) (more…)