What To Do About HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS

Friends can be like hemorrhoids‚Ä¶ they are great when you are just standing around, then you go to sit down and relax, that‚Äôs when they can be a real pain in the, well‚Ä¶ you know.

Getting through life without your friends can be tough as well. It is always nice to have someone to tell you that you are not crazy, or in my case that I am crazy. My friends have a special way of telling me that what I want to do is not cool, by not showing up! Which is all right I guess except for the fact that I am always doing what they want. Am I whining too much? Well nobody is forcing you to read this‚Ä¶ ok don‚Äôt leave, I will stop, I will do what you want.

Even though I have a lot to complain about I can say that I have the best friends in the whole world. And if that isn‚Äôt cheesy then nothing is. No but seriously, my friends have been responsible for a lot of good things in my life, I am sure you would like to know? Well too bad, I am going to tell you anyway, things like: introducing me to my wife, in turn also responsible (indirectly) for my kids, I have one friend that has made me love football, as well as one friend that acts like he doesn‚Äôt like anything I do… but he still comes to my house all the time, not to mention the friends that I am playing pranks on… these friends are especially great because they keep coming back for more.

Having said that they still stand me up, and I don‚Äôt know why. So what am I going to do about it? Well, I guess I will have to be more clever with either the pranks (payback) or finding better things to do, whether I like it or not. From here on out I will start building a set of friends that will do whatever I want to do plus the friends that I know will be there no matter what. This will be cool but I will have to make sure they never meet because if they do we may have some drifters, side swappers if you will. This will only lead to disaster if I am as bad at picking things to do as my friends think I am. I won‚Äôt stand a chance.

Oh well, I guess I will go to the ale fest, or swim in the river, or go see any movie with Vin Diesel in it on my own. Oh yeah, one last thing, you guys should come over tonight we are going streaking, don‚Äôt worry everyone will be there.

It just isn’t right! It is so confusing! Trying to differentiate between different spatulas can be quite the challenge. “Hand me a spatula, no, not that one, the scrapey one.” “Scrapey one?” “Yeah, the one that you use to scrape the sides of the bowl.” “Oh you mean the silicone one.” “What is silicone?” Why?…

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