Kidisms

I’ve always tried to write down funny things that the kids have said so I’m going to keep track of them here. Enjoy!

Kidisms from Mackenzie

(8/22/11) “Mom, I’m going to give you your first grandchild”

(1/27/13) She asked me, “Did you know that everyone starts life off as a girl?” I said “yes, I actually did know that”. She was shocked and said “Did you learn it from YouTube?”

(2/1/13) She was sitting on the floor with Cayden and slowly turned her head to look at me. With a guilty smile she said, “I just tried to fart and almost peed a little. Awkwardness!”

(5/12/13) We were watching a movie from the 90s and it showed someone talking on a car phone. Mackenzie said “they had phones with cords in cars back then”?

(4/7/14)
Me: “Mackenzie, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
Mackenzie: “I could be an artist, or anything that doesn’t involve math. Or I could be a cashier at Publix.”
Me: “That would be a pretty boring job.”
Mackenzie: “But, Daddy always has lots of stories!”

(6/19/14) In the ER before being admitted to the hospital, after getting an IV and an NG tube placed:Nurse: “Mackenzie, do you want a warm blanket?”
Mackenzie: “Yes!”The nurse lays the warm blanket over Mackenzie.Mackenzie: “This is why I love hospitals!”

(date unknown) Mackenzie was 8, Ethan turned 6. He said “Mackenzie, I’m almost catching up to you!”

(9/12/11) “I don’t want a wife when I grow up because I’ll have to kiss her.”

(6/21/12) I was trying to explain to Ethan what a Sony Walkman was and that you had to carry around CDs and it didn’t have games on it. He said, “That must’ve been weird.”

(8/1/12) I was carrying Cayden in the grocery store and Ethan was walking behind me…
He said, “Mom, you don’t look like a mom from behind.”
Me – “Who do I look like? A teenager?”
Ethan – “Kind of” (with a big smile!)That’s a compliment coming from Ethan! Made my day 🙂

(9/24/12) I was panicking because Mackenzie didn’t ride the bus home and I forgot that she had Garden Club for an hour after school. I called the school and they didn’t know anything and the bus transportation office wouldn’t answer my phone call. We drove up to the school to find her and on the way Ethan said, “If Mackenzie really is gone, can I have her iPod?”.

(10/1/12) We were riding to pick up Mackenzie from school and Ethan asked if we could go see Grandma. I told him no because she works third shift and explained that she works during the night and sleeps during the day. He said, “So she’s nocturnal?!

(10/27/12) After leaving the 5k that we all walked in that morning (and the kids did not want to participate in), Ethan says, “If I were to rate that, I would give it a 5 out of 10”. It’s just funny to hear Ethan say this because my dad does the same thing to everything…asking us to rate our food or a movie, etc.

(1/8/13) Just out of the blue, Ethan asked me, “So you do you think it’s possible that a woman can lick her armpit with her tongue?”

(1/26/13) Out of the blue again, Ethan stood up and said “I will stand up for my rights!”

(2/17/14) If you and dad ever get a divorce, will he get a motorcycle?

(5/27/14) We were discussing Mackenzie’s upcoming surgery and Ethan asks me, “So, during Mackenzie’s surgery, will we have snacks to eat while we’re waiting? Because when you were having Cayden, there were peanut butter crackers.”

(6/16/14) We were in the hospital room while Mackenzie was recovering from surgery.
Ethan: “Do you have maids while you’re in the hospital?”
Me: “No, those are nurses. They aren’t maids!”
Ethan: “Well, they look like maids.”

(4/24/14) I am trying to print something off the computer and apparently I’m not listening to what Cayden is saying…
Cayden: “You go in time out!”
Me: “What did I do?”
C: “You not wisten to me.”
Me: (I laugh)
C: “Don’t waugh.”

(5/1/14) Cayden was watching her babysitter cut up an onion and her eyes started to tear up…C: “Don’t cry mommy, just be happy like me!”

(6/24/14) Every time she gets into the car with her babysitter…C: “This is going to be so awesome. So where do you want to go?”

(7/9/14) Helping her babysitter make sloppy joes…C: “Yay, I hope we are having steak because that’s my favorite!”

(7/20/14) Cayden had been a handful today and I was exhausted. When I was giving her a bath, I had my head in my hands…Me: “I’m so tired.”
C: “Well, just go take a nap!”

(7/24/14) Singing while it’s raining outside…“Rain, rain, go away because I just want to jump and splash in the puddles.”

(9/5/14) Cayden talking to her babysitter after seeing that she made herself a salad…
C: “You shouldn’t eat leaves, you silly goose!”

(9/17/14) The babysitter telling Cayden that her daddy would be picking her up…Babysitter: “Cayden, your daddy will be picking you up today.”
Cayden: “What the heck?!”

(11/3/14) Cayden painting turkeys while her babysitter is talking about what it means to be thankful…Babysitter: “Cayden, what are you thankful for?”
Cayden: “Brown paint!”

(11/25/14) Cayden asked her babysitter for something warm for lunch because she was chilly…Babysitter: “You have some warm clothes in your bag.”
Cayden: “Or we can check in the pantry to see if you have mac and cheese!”

(12/5/14) While walking around the neighborhood looking at Christmas decorations…Cayden: “My favorite is the house with all the princesses.”
Babysitter: “I think those are angels.”
C: “But they are wearing princess dresses.”

(5/27/15) Talking about her day at school…
C: “I raised my hand at school and told the teacher that I had an iPad but it cracked.”
Me: “What did the teacher say?”
C: “She didn’t say anything.”
Me: “Was the teacher talking about iPads?”
C: “Yes, and iPhones.”

(6/1/15) After braiding her hair…
“I’m going to be so pretty and everyone will say “Oh look at you Cayden”!”

(6/7/15) Cayden wanted me to get up and I didn’t want to…
C: “May you can you get up?”

(6/7/15) Talking about Harlan…talk about heart-wrenching…
C: “I miss Harlan. When is he going to turn back alive? I don’t want to go in the ground. When I go in the ground I will miss you.”

(7/6/15) Overheard Cayden and Ethan talking…
C: “Ethan, do you want to play with me?”E: “Play what?”
C: “Pretend you’re in my belly and I will poop you out.”
E: “Oh wow, that sounds like fun.”

(8/10/15)
Me: “Later on tonight do you want to ride in the stroller while I run?”
C: “We can go out when the moon comes out because I don’t like to run or work out.”

(8/24/15) Riding in the car when it was raining outside…
C: “Mom, you know what would be so cool? If the kids side had a wiper. That would be so awesome!”

(12/28/15) Riding in the car talking about speeding tickets and going to jail.
Me: “People that do really bad things go to jail, like shooting or killing someone, or hurting someone really badly.”
C: “Well, Evander hurt my foot at school and he is still there.”

(1/6/16) Driving in the car talking about Harlan
Me: “Do you know how old Harlan is now?”
C: “Yes. He is 5. Do you know how I know that?”
Me: “No, how?”
C: “Because Harlan whispered it in my ear. It’s a secret.”

(1/11/16) Talking about homework…
C: “I don’t want to do my homework.”
Me: “But your homework is fun. Kindergarten homework will be fun. Ethan’s middle school homework is not fun. Mackenzie’s high school homework is hard. It just keeps getting harder and harder the older you get.”
C: “Then you be a mommy?”

(2/17/16)
C: “I wish you could go everywhere with me. I wish you could go to school with me and sleep on the mats with me.”

(1/20/16)Some questions for a question/answer list for kids, that I asked Cayden:1. What is something I always say to you?
Go potty when we’re about to go to bed
2. What makes me happy?
If i be nice
3. What makes me sad?
not being nice
4. How do I make you laugh?
doing funny things
5. What was I like as a child?
i don’t know
6. How old am I?
i don’t know. are you 100?
7. How tall am I?
big
8. What is my favorite thing to do?
eat
9. What do I do when you’re not around?
go to work
10. What am I really good at?
putting the tv on for me
11. What is something I’m not good at?
walking when I got crutches
12. What do I do for a job?
go to work and do some stuff
13. What is my favorite food?
i don’t know
14. What do you enjoy doing with me?
laying and sitting with me