Road Signs

We usually have a good three hours of asphalt behind us before the sun comes up and the camera comes out.

This is good: it’s a mercy to get one fifth of a 15-hour day already logged before one’s butt is fully awake and accurately registering pain.

The day ahead is always a mystery. What will the next 12 hours bring for us? What glories will the skies of Nevada reveal? Will we make it through Targhee National Forest by light of day? Will we finally make our way through Twin Falls without getting lost?

Yesterday morning by 7:22 a.m., these travelers just east of Donner Pass already had their answer as to what their day would bring. The emergency response vehicles passed us just moments before we got there, and by the time we arrived, they had already left with their guests.

We found ourselves briskly attentive to the road signs that followed.

No need to ask twice.

The ticket was by far the lesser motivator at that point.

Road signs are, for the most part, effective in conveying their messages.

This one, however, could use an upgrade.

As it reads now, it could merely signal “Fun roller coaster ahead.” Wouldn’t it be more effective if the car were to tip up on an alarming angle to the right, almost at the point where tires give up and kiss the asphalt good-bye, and the person’s arms were to wave madly in a desperate motion that conveys “Help! Help! I’m about to tumble tonsils over touchas into a snowbank, and I don’t care for the sensation!”?

Some of the signs are just straight up and real time, like thought bubbles from your inner ear.

“Hello?”

“You. Are. Banking. In. A. Decreasing. Radius. Turn. To. The. Left.”

“Thank you. Come again.”

Some of the signage is merely informative and lacking in any specific call to action.

“Occasionally, it gets windy here. Just thought you should know.”

Often there is even an overt unwillingness to commit.

“The bridge may be icy. Then again, it may not be. Just sayin’….”

Other signs take a more declarative stance.

Apparently, there will be deer somewhere in the next ten miles. While there isn’t any suggestion made as to how likely said deer are to leap in front of your particular vehicle on this particular day, the deer’s lawyers will be quick to point out that they declared up front that they were present and milling about smartly.

Some signs are more ominously declarative than others.

I just wrap my arms around my head and hope that Rick is keeping an eye out for the deer.

All in all, we found ourselves grateful for the good persons of the highway sign maintenance division of Highways 80, 93, 30, 15, 26, and 31.

One small note of complaint, though.

After engaging in a new-found respect for the truth in the homily “Forewarned is forearmed,” would it now be too much to ask for sign warmers?

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