Michael blubs that he's a target for all these mean things because of his celebrity status - not pausing for a moment to think that perhaps some of the troubles might be down to, you know, happily banging on about how it's great have strangers kids over to sleep in your bedroom; or paying off accusers rather than going to court to clear your name; or just dangling your own baby from the edge of a hotel. Admittedly, nobody might have noticed if you hadn't been famous, but that's not really an excuse, is it?

He managed to make time to continue boo-ing on about how Eminem is mean to him, taking the piss out of him and all:

"I've been an artist most of my life and I've never attacked a fellow artist," Mr Jackson said. "Great artists don't have to do that."