DISPATCHES FROM THE ARID LANDS

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That artichoke thing

While I relish eating the “meat” of an artichoke leaf, particularly when dipped in hot, melted butter, that is about the limit of my endearment. Except for its pretty bluish flower, the artichoke is one of plant world’s also-rans. Even the taste is bland if eaten plain.

So, one of the amazing things when I first moved to the arid lands was to learn of a local college team named the Fighting Artichokes. After laughing, I grew disgusted. How can anyone degrade the most sacred shrine of America that is its sports teams?

The real thing.

Scottsdale Community College’s student body in a moment of anguish over the school’s budget in the 1970s, grasped onto the artichoke in hopes to embarrass the institution which seemed to outlay a too generous portion to athletics. Anyone who follows community college sports knows that almost no one attends the games, and that athletic departments can not support themselves without public financing. At that level of play, community college sports are welfare projects.

So, out of this mess was born the team mascot, Artie the Artichoke. And as camp as it sounds, the student body has embraced him, apparently in defiance of all logic and heavenly standards.

I personally have never seen a sports contest at Scottsdale CC. I think I will put it on my schedule for a football game in the coming season. Just to see the mascot at work, and listen for the opponents yell “Go, ‘chokers.”

Delta’s Fighting Okra

The one game I would pay dearly to watch is Scottsdale v. Delta State University.

Delta, a four-year school in Cleveland, Mississippi, has a mascot that was ranked No. 1 by toptenz.net as the worst sports name in our fair land.