Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:07 am Post subject: how is he happier with less of a life?

Let me try and sum this up... knew him for almost a year as friends and he pursued me the entire time(i was in school and busy), started dating, we dated for about 3 months then i had to leave for 2 months for an internship. I came back and he proposed to me. we lived together, I thought everything was great. I literally gave him everything he has today. I met him and he was down on luck... bills, IRS, lost his car from a traffic ticket, Probation from that as well. lost his job, and I got him his new one. I stuck by him at his worst and helped him through it. My parents gave him an older vehicle that we didnt need, i helped with his bills, my parents loaned him money to help him too, becuase their daughter was in love. I was, I was ecstatic!

Then about a month I got laid off, 4 days later he looked at me and said he was done. He couldn't do it anymore. He "needed a break." I was devistated! how do you walk away from your fiancee so easy. He said he had fallen out of love with me 3 months prior, that we had lost our friendship and was tired of the conflict and arguing with me. (we argued over stupid little stuff, and he says had 4 big fights in 3months). For the life of me I could not get him to work on it with me. he said he was independent and did not know how to work on things with people. he said he hates conflict and wont deal with negativity from anyone anymore, he said "it just didnt work". i wasnt fun and outgoing like he is. 3 weeks after he walked out on me, I found out he was dating his ex (before me) girlfriends best friend. Who lost her kids in another state to dfacs, and moved away to "Start over" without her kids. lost them from drugs, and when i met her when she moved here, I was instructed that she is a "tramp" from his mother. Im my opinion, she is very low on the people scale. His ex Girlfriend, cheated on him for 8 years, had two kids and told them they were his, then said just kidding. He came from (trying to be nice) low standards, dated me( by no means am i perfect), went back to low standards.. How could he be happier living a life like that? no goals, he literally lives life as it comes. no responsibilites, doesn't want to have to apply himself. How do you go from having everything, to being happy with that? What did I do that was so horrible you could give someone who cheated on you multiple chances, but you wouldnt give me one? I appologized to him for failing at keeping him happy. he said "it just didnt work." how? why? how did I screw up so bad? and how do you get past your ex being happier without you, when you see that that life is not the one he could of had, or should want. When I say he had everything, I dont mean money wise. I mean he had everything he never had before. He admitted once, "I dont deserve everything your family does for me, I didnt do anything to deserve it." sure you did, you loved me. or I thought you did.

If you love him, then I guess you should definitely win him over. But after reading your story, I felt that you have a better person waiting for you out there and that you missed a wrong guy!! (Isnt this good )
But if you have decided that he is THE person, then just go for him._________________Want to get your ex back and make them fall in love with you all over again ? Visit www.makingup.co.cc, apply the methods and just grab your partner back!!

Unfortunately I tried everything I could to win him over, it wasn't enough though. He still ran back to the type of life he came from. How someone settles like that I will never understand, but what I did learn, is no matter what I did, I couldn't make him happy. So in the end I am glad I did not marry that person. Just upset over the situation... You go from having it all, to losing it all... Hoping to find that "better guy" is something at this point I am afraid I will never find. If I can't hang on to someone that was that wrong for me, how can you hang on to someone better?

second...from what you have written...it sounds like your bf and his ex deserve each other.....
and you should thank him for letting you go...so you can move on and find some one that will better suit you and someone that will appreciate and love you like you want and need.

from what you have written it sounds like he used you and is done with you. You seem like a good person that will do much better without him.

Get out and meet other people. Do some fun things to get your mind off him and your pain. Take some time to heal and move on.

thank you! I am trying to move on, unfortunately there still isn't a day that goes by that I do not think of him.. not missing him so much, but just thoughts that pop into my head, "wow i was a fool for helping him, i got taken advantage of for being a caring person, were the good times really good?" and ofcourse i hate driving by any of the company stores that he is employed by. Yes, he went back to the same type of person he came from... at first it made me feel like crap. then all i could think was "if i couldn't keep him around, how am i supposed to keep someone better around" I still don't have an answer for that... I just hope that I am not old and wrinkly before I find the one for me . (ofcourse i thought the last one was the one for me too).. confused, and a fool... sucks being a caring person..