nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

April 25, 2014

When my daughter Amy got engaged, she told me she had ordered this book. What a wise move! I bought a copy for myself, so that I could be a good and supportive mother of the bride (MOB).

Meg Keene, who also writes the blog A Practical Wedding, approaches the subject of wedding planning with humor, grace, wisdom and a deep love for marriage. Not just weddings, but the time-honored institution of marriage.

The book’s tone is encouraging (you won’t have to go into debt), reassuring (you can maintain your sanity) and liberating (if it isn’t meaningful to you, don’t do it). Keene’s mantra is, “I will not remember what our wedding looked like; I will remember what it felt like.”

The book’s contents cover the superficial, the soul-searching, and everything in between:

The purpose of the engagement

Dealing with family issues and other hard stuff

Venues, guest lists, schedules, food, the ceremony

Budgets and keeping it sane

When to DIY and when not, and why

Keene’s advice for couples on a budget is priceless: “You should focus your planning on things that make you feel delighted and alive.” She reminds readers that most of what the wedding industry tells us is “tradition” has only come about recently. Despite what you see on Pinterest, most of that stuff is not traditional. Amy’s grandmother would be shocked by the lavish no-expense-spared weddings today.

She and my father were married in the priest’s rectory with only a few people present (that’s how mixed marriages were done in the Catholic Church in 1941). The reception was at my grandmother’s house, with homemade food and cake. So the at-home or backyard wedding is probably the most traditional thing you can do.

November 8, 1941

Samples of wit and wisdom from “A Practical Wedding”:

On working together: “Remember that the choices you are making about your wedding are the first choices you are making as a brand-new-baby family, and they are practice for the much bigger choices in your future.”

On traditional vows: “Getting married means joining in a tradition that is thousands of years old. By saying the same words that generations and generations before you have said, you tie yourselves to the strength of an institution that has stood the test of time, helped people survive great hardships, and helped them embrace enormous joy.”

On the purpose of bridesmaids: “Bridesmaids exist to stand in front of the bride on her wedding day, and not let crazy within ten feet.”

On planning: “Planning a wedding is such a giddy mix of beautiful things combined with a serious dose of pain in the ass …”

April 23, 2014

I never expected to love crocheting as much as I do. Here are a few examples of the projects I’ve finished since I learned this hobby last September.

Not that I’ve advanced to expert levels or complex patterns. Never tackled a baby dress, hat or booties; no sweaters or shawls (yet); no little stuffed animals that seem to be so popular right now.

I try to learn a new stitch or technique with each new project. But mostly I just pick out patterns that look pretty, or items I think my friends or family would enjoy. For Christmas, I had so much fun making surprises for each of the women in my Monday morning Bible study.

There’s always something I’m working on, and it feels so relaxing to pick it up and work with my hands after a stressful day. (Thanks to my husband for the title of this post; he said this as I was working on another afghan to use up extra yarn.)

April 18, 2014

These days, a quick scan of Facebook, Pinterest or TV shows might convince you that the world is full of amazing things. Maybe some of those things really deserve to be called “amazing,” but most of them are not. They may be beautiful, fun, delicious, entertaining, amusing or any number of other colorful adjectives. However, the word “amazing” has been rendered almost meaningless through overuse.

At Palm Sunday service, we sang Chris Tomlin’s “Jesus Messiah.” I was singing, “His body the bread, His blood the wine, broken and poured out all for love. The whole earth trembled and the veil was torn. Love so amazing, love so amazing …”

And it hit me.

THAT’S what’s truly amazing!

It’s not the recipe I tried for dinner; or the movie I saw last week; or the latest episode of “Mad Men.” It’s not even the “blood moon” lunar eclipse, though I understand it was pretty impressive. “Amazing” won’t even describe my daughter’s wedding next year — although I am certain it will be joyous, beautiful and full of love.

The events we remember on Good Friday and Easter, Jesus’ death and resurrection for the forgiveness of sins — even MY sins — are truly amazing. That the Lord of heaven and earth would take on flesh and suffer a cruel death, then rise to life again so that I could be alive, not dead. So that I could be a child of God, not an enemy. That, my friends, is a wonder you never will comprehend.

April 14, 2014

You know the one. The woman who always looks put together, who wouldn’t leave the house without makeup and earrings. I have been that girl. But I’m not right now, though at times I would like to be.

Maybe it’s a phase of life. When I worked in an office, I dressed up and wore makeup every day. Now that I work from home, my wardrobe of choice is jeans or yoga pants. Makeup is reserved for Saturday (date night) and Sunday (church).

Oh, my inner girly girl is still there. I make sure my hair color is touched up. Cleansing and moisturizing is a daily must. I love pretty eye shadows and mascara … but most days I’m too lazy to put on makeup, or it would just be a waste of time anyway. Don’t even get me started on tweezing the eyebrows!

Pedicures are a rare luxury — even the ones I do myself. I’m totally inept with the polish, so my toes end up looking like the work of a toddler. Manicures are something else. I am a lifelong nail biter, so having manicured and polished fingernails actually helps me stop chewing on them. I’ll go for spells when I’m good about taking care of my nails — then I get lazy and let it slide. And I feel guilty spending money on regular professional manicures.

I enjoy being a girl. But the day-after-day routine of “temple” maintenance sure can get to be a drag.

April 10, 2014

I gave up playing Mafia Wars on Facebook for Lent. The practice of “giving up” things for Lent is supposed to be a sacrifice, to remind us of Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf. It’s supposed to free up our minds to devote more time to the things of God.

It’s worked for me in one respect — I have had more time for Bible study and prayer. But it hasn’t been the sacrifice that I thought it would be. On the contrary, it has felt like liberation. I may never go back.

Quitting the game has gotten me thinking that I really can live with a lot less social media in my life. Don’t get me wrong. Facebook helps me keep in touch with friends and family far away … as well as frequent daily touchstones with friends I see frequently. I find out how I can pray for people, rejoice with them, encourage them. Through Facebook, I have a dear circle of friends I’ve never met, but we do Bible study together. I’ll never completely quit.

But I see a lot of junk on my news feed as well. I see posts, articles and news that draw a cloud of negativity across my heart and mind.

I need a lot less of that influence in my life. Less screen time and more face time with the people I care about. More phone calls and handwritten notes. More crocheting and reading. More golf, bike riding and Jazzercise. Even more time for writing and blogging (Ha! Just kidding).

April 07, 2014

Her Mr. Right popped the question and she accepted him with joy. I’m bursting with happiness for them; my heart is so full, the word “overjoyed” doesn’t quite capture it all.

So many emotions flood a mother’s heart when her daughter takes this step into adulthood. Amy and Anton will begin their own little family unit, separate from Ken and me, separate from her father. I begin to think about my parenting — the good things and the mistakes. About my own marriages and hoping that Amy learned from them not to repeat her mother’s mistakes.

There is regret, but there is also hope. Hope in the future, in answers to prayer, in the commitment two people make to love each other no matter what.

The coming year will be full of planning, budgets, shopping, parties and, yes, plenty of stress. But through it all will be this joy of celebrating the two becoming one. I can’t wait!