My pride prevents me from engaging in this fagetry. Reminds me of those submissions which work by undressing your opponent.

I resemble this remark.
I have a move I do about twice a month (don't want the natives to get wise). While working a double underhook pass instead of clasping around their thighs drive both hands under their butt and grab their waistband now pull and roll them. Voila, instant turtled opponent. Now you can take their back, crucifix them or, apparently, reverse omaplata them.

The funny part is when they can't decide between defending or trying to fix their pants.

My pride prevents me from engaging in this fagetry. Reminds me of those submissions which work by undressing your opponent.

Are you refering to techniques in which you use a piece of your opponents gi against him? Ie, a half guard sweep where I untuck the opponents gi and wrap under his shoulder and around over the other shoulder, then use this grip to perform a sweep?

Or are you refering to something the infamous, remove opponents belt and choke him with it?

Personally I feel the former is perfectly acceptable and actually quite realistic. Who hasnt seen someones shirt pulled over their head in a real fight?

Not really. My issue is how it is tested. You see, I've seen your move in action. I've had it used on me, and it's worked.

Once. And then I figured out how to counter it. Hence getting better at mount.

You seem to be judging the effectiveness of your technique on the basis of "fantastic, I'm omgwtfPwning my white belt opponents with it! This move must be golden!"

Here are my questions to you: How does your move work on good blue belts? purple belts? brown belts? black belts? Does it work on people with very good mounts?

I was holding off on answering this question because at the time you had posed it, the best opponent I'd gotten this on was a three-stripe blue. Then tonight, I used it on a 250-pound BJJ brown belt/Judo black belt with no problems whatsoever.

Of course, I'm sure there's a rational explanation for that. Which is that

A) You have scrawny chicken legs
or
B) I am totally awesome
or
C) I have invented an escape so foolproof it completely turns the BJJ positional hierarchy on its head
or
D) I am so totally fucking awesome
or
E) Any combination of the above.

You are free to begin apologizing to me at any time, though I feel you should start with all the Cold War veterans you insulted by implying said conflict was ended by an exhaustion of resources on the part of the Soviets, and not an elite commando force trained entirely in my special mount escape.

Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:

1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!

2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.

3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.

REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon

I was holding off on answering this question because at the time you had posed it, the best opponent I'd gotten this on was a three-stripe blue. Then tonight, I used it on a 250-pound BJJ brown belt/Judo black belt with no problems whatsoever.

That's fair enough. I still don't like it, as I'm not a fan of any escape requiring a secured belt. But then again, I personally prefer techniques with gi and no-gi applications, rather than clothing specific stuff.

Of course, I'm sure there's a rational explanation for that. Which is that

A) You have scrawny chicken legs

Hmm (looking at legs) not really scrawny, just flexible in odd ways. I call the right one Stompy!

B) I am totally awesome

This is not quantifiable by scientific means and I remain un-awed

C) I have invented an escape so foolproof it completely turns the BJJ positional hierarchy on its head

Sorry, Eduardo Telles and Josh Russell have better claim to that than you.

D) I am so totally fucking awesome

I take it Awesome is the name of your androgynous significant other?

You are free to begin apologizing to me at any time, though I feel you should start with all the Cold War veterans you insulted by implying said conflict was ended by an exhaustion of resources on the part of the Soviets, and not an elite commando force trained entirely in my special mount escape.

I will. On the condition that you will make public apologies and the appropriate financial reparations to the descendants of the Byzantine defenders of Constantinople, and all victims, past and present, of Bubonic plague and Syphilis. All reparations are to be calculated with compound interest from date of incident.