I don’t like this squirrel’s attitude. After investing money is a plastic hawk, it still wasn’t enough to scare off this mangy, rat-faced, no-good, low-life, beady-eyed, scum-sucking, apple-stealing squirrel. I placed the hawk there couple of weeks ago and apparently, it’s just an inconvenience. Now instead of running along the stone wall, the furry rodents have to detour around the bird and scale down the side to get to my apples.

Now I think he’s mocking me. What he doesn’t know is that last Sunday, four coyotes walked by the same spot. The hawk may be fake but those coyotes are real. And hungry. Instead of sitting there watching the hawk’s back, you’d better watch your own. I saw a bobcat around too. “Here, kittty, kitty, kitty……”

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I know the aggravation first hand. Squirrels can eat anything, and especially telephone wires and cable wires. Every time there is a phone outage, everyone in my condo says,” Well.. those squirrels are at it again”. Maybe we should plant an apple tree to appease their appetites. Naw, don’t think that would be good either. Just can’t figure out how they don’t electrocute themselves, especially after a good rain. How appetizing is that huh? Wet wires for lunch anyone?