The hazards of online banking: My daughter Elisa’s student bank account shows a $9.25 debit card payment at the Museum of Sex in New York. I’m not mad. I want to know if they offer a discount to AARP members. But despite the fact, Elisa has moved out, we still have unbreakable tie to her - We’re connected by our bank accounts. And she’s already reaping the benefits of higher education. She’s learned which bars don’t card and which grocery stores will sell 40-ounce beers to teens. ... It's been reported that a Walt Disney museum will open on the grounds of the Presidio in San Francisco. But I don't think I'll go. It's probably a real Mickey Mouse affair. ... I think I made a bad investment in a new animal called the ginchilla. They have luxurious fur, but they're extremely hard to breed because they rarely sober up. ... I got an automated telephone call today about covering the high cost of funeral expenses. Is someone trying to tell me something? ... A friend asked me to name my favorite recipe from a TV cooking show. I said I didn't know what to call it but it involved Rachel Ray and a can of Reddi-Wip. … With some much heated debate about healthcare, it's time to turn to someone we all trust, the Aflac Duck. And given the success of animals in the insurance world, including the Geico gecko, the American Insurance Group has chosen its symbol, the AIG Weasel.

Our daughter just opened a student bank account in a new bank because the old one doesn't have branches near her college. We got the Bank of America pamphlet for parents of college students called "Watching Your Money Disappear." ... Just watched one of Microsoft's "Congratulations. It's a PC" commercials and thought "Boy that must have been one hell of a delivery." Speaking of Microsoft, There are reports Microsoft is considering combining its Excel and Access applications into a new program called Microsoft Excess, which provides no new functionality but will help Microsoft boost its margins. It will be backed by a multi-million dollar advertising campaign. ... Finally got around to setting up online banking. But I'm worried about my bank. The three challenge questions were "Who was that lady I saw you with last night?" What comes after "You put your left put in; you put your left foot out?" and "Would you hit a woman with a child?" I only got the last one right, "No, I'd hit her with a brick." ... I updated my Facebook profile with more information than most people would ever want. Then, I read it and realized even I don't find it interesting. ... ... I'd been meaning to make amends to someone complaining about Kentucky jokes in Consulting Insights. The complainer said everyone thinks "we marry our cousins." I drove a lot of miles there in July and they've really improved the roads. They paved a few of them. Seriously, they have a fabulous road system. You get to your cousin's house faster, once you get the car in the front yard off its blocks. ... It's a good thing Microsoft doesn't make cars. If it did, the car would shut down while it provided the following message, "We are installing your car's updates. Please do not turn off the car during this process."

IN THE NEXT MOVIE in the highly successful series, “Harry Potter and the Senile Professor,” the friends realize Dumbledore has become addled when he turns Hogwarts into an ant farm and the Ministry of Magic has to hire a consultant to restore it. … I finally got the hieroglyphs translated on the ash tray we bought my daughter in Egypt last year. One says, “Made in China.” … I love the decision to allow Michael Vick back in football. Can you imagine your job interview going like this? "I see here you spent time in prison for gambling and promoting dog fighting?" "Yes, but I really love animals. And I've shown an ability to run a business." I think he should be allowed to play, but he has to score a touchdown carrying a football-shaped piece of steak past 11 Rottweilers. … With several New Jersey public officials and area rabbis having been indicted this summer, I’ve decided we need a slogan for our state’s favorite sport, corruption. What would be better than, “New Jersey, When we do things wrong, we do it right.” Or, “When a priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and are indicted, you know you’re in New Jersey!.”... The University of Louisville is considering a new program as an adjunct to its basketball program, the "Rick Pitino Home for Unwed Mothers."

The Editor

Bob Scott has been informing and entertaining the mid-market financial software community with his email newsletters for 10 years. And he has been covering this market through print publications for 18 years, first as technology editor of Accounting Today and then as the Editor of Accounting Technology from 1997 through 2009. He has covered the traditional tax and accounting profession during the same time and continues to address that as executive editor of the Progressive Accountant.