A Heated Debate Between Two Charismatic Geniuses: A Cardinal Fan (Jeff Lung) and a Tiger Fan (Allen Krause)

You’ll Go Blind; So What

Fear not, dear readers, for the scare huckin’ shadow casting done by my chiding and oft misleading colleague, Mr. Allen Krause, is nothing more than seductive pomp and circumstance meant to dissuade you from the truth! Sure, sure… the Republicans are transitioning into the high profile sex game. So what? It’s about time they join the proverbial party (DNC approved or not) because to be honest, the political sex scene could use some old spice (pun intended). But there is no way in Congressional hell (it’s a lot like Ames, IA only less corn) that the Republicans are stealing the show.

And that’s the thing. Ya see, the Democrats are still gettin’ their sexy on, it’s just that we’ve seen so much of it in recent years that it’s simply boring to us now (think John “You Are the Father” Edwards). I mean, New York Congressman Eric Massa is doing so many inappropriate things to so many different people that the best thing for him right now would probably be to grab an adult magazine and cool out it in a truck stop restroom for a few days… wait. No. That’s a bad idea. Bad, bad, bad idea.

But, seriously, if all these politicians just learned to take out their “frustrations” on themselves (privately, of course) rather than act out on others, maybe our government would be just a little more productive. We live in the 21st century, people. All kinds of new, innovative stuff exists for no other reason than to get us those happy endings! So what if we all go blind… now the goods come in braille! What do we need our eyes for!?!? Eh!?!?

Whew. Okay. That may have been the longest introduction to a main point ever, but it had to be done. I have no regrets.

And in case you are wondering what the actual point of this piece is, well, it is simply to inform you that a braille book on the history of the Chicago Cubs franchise is also in the works. The rumored list price is nowhere near the 150 Pounds Sterling it will cost you to get one of those braille p0rno books, but that is simply because the Cubs history book consists of just… one… letter:

L

Hate me ‘cuz I gitz long-winded, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy!

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12 Comments

To all the Rita Jennrette(s) and Gary Hart(s) and other pervy members of the Donkey Delegation out there and unfortunate patrons of the “very” Friendly Confines of the World’s Largest “Alternative” Bar ~
Long Live the Letter L !!
Mike

This would be like the blind leading the blind…. obviously your blinded by the constant need to relive yourself with the Poo-Hole poster, yet your still somewhat blinded by the reign of terror of the current government whose ‘cliff notes – braille version’ may have twice the content as the Cubs but will be just as impressive – FU

I can not remember a girl finding a Republican sexy since…Well the Gipper was in office. I still remember jellie beans, Republicans and this new thing called the DVD were the talk of the Happy Hour at our local Bennigans/Fridays/Chilis/Applebees..etc,etc,etc…..
I always thought it was the parties red color definition, but maybe it was the fact the Democrats blue looked so much like the skin on the GReat White in “Jaws”.
I guess it could have been worse, could have been a Pat Paulsen voter, or a Ralph Nader interloper instead of a red-blooded, all-American Southern Republican who looked good in his Shaggy hairdoo and “Miami Vice” white sportscoat, sansabelt slacks and pastel T-shirt.
Sonny Crockett and Ronny were my hero then…….

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