Alex Rodriguez needs to drop rehearsed lines on his PED past

While he hardly lit up the booth in his ESPN debut last week (Yankees-Twins), Alex Rodriguez generated big-time buzz, which is exactly what the Bristol Faculty, or the Foxies, or any other TV outlet on his non-stop Mea Culpa Tour, is paying Grand Master Phony for.

It's best not to take Rodriguez seriously. That's the only way to handle someone trying to spin dry his own twisted past. Remember, he did not go into full metamorphosis mode until realizing his best chance of getting back into baseball's good graces, getting a TV gig, and getting into Cooperstown, was to fess up.

This has worked extremely well for Rodriguez, especially since most of the baseball media now either believes him or is extremely forgiving. Yet, on Thursday, aided and abetted by Matt Vasgersian and Jessica Mendoza, who didn't want anything to do with pressing him or asking follow-up questions (this was an exhibition game, they had plenty of time), A-Rod offered a flimsy blueprint on handling a PED suspension (the conversation began as a discussion of Twins shortstop Jorge Polanco being suspended for 80 games after testing positive for Stanozolol), how to deal with life after exile and, on another matter, how Giancarlo Stanton should handle the New York media.

While his spiel required some soul searching on his part it came off highly scripted. It totally lacked either emotion or sincerity. It wasn't credible. Instead of going for real spontaneity, A-Rod's commentary sounded like it had been rehearsed and discussed at length before the telecast. It's one thing to react to a question you know is coming, quite another when you are answering it on the fly.

"For me it took a while," A-Rod answered, after Mendoza asked him how long it took to figure out how to deal with his PED situation and eventual season-long suspension. "I chose to go pointing fingers first, hired a bunch of people (lawyers and PR operatives) and ultimately it's not their problem it's my problem. I was the quarterback. I was making the decisions both during then after."

Either Vasgersian or Mendoza then should have asked him: "Didn't you realize this during the scorched earth policy you unleashed on baseball and the Yankees? Why didn't you discontinue it sooner?" Instead, A-Rod continued on, talking about how he wanted to return to baseball making sure he had a "different attitude" and was a "different person."

All that was missing was a sad violin playing in the background. Yet even though he came off disingenuous, Rodriguez is now the only baseball analyst working a national gig who can talk, from first hand experience, on what it was like to be caught cheating baseball while caught up in the sleazy world of PEDs.

Still, it's worth wondering if a lightly watched Thursday afternoon exhibition telecast will be the last time we hear Rodriguez shed light on the dark side of his career. Or will we hear it again — perhaps a more sincere version — with millions watching under the bright lights of Sunday Night Baseball.

Stay tuned.

AFTERNOON LAG

ESPN-98.7's "The Michael Kay Show" beat WFAN's new "The Afternoon Nap" aka "CMB" in the February radio ratings, but the most telling stat points to a larger problem.

Kay finished 8th in the market (men 25-54) while CMB finished 12th in the same demographic. That means they both finished far up the track and out of the money (in terms of ad revenue) that are generated by top-five stations.

The poor finishes might not be a reflection of the Gasbags appearing on these afternoon drive offerings. It could be a case of interest in local sports talk shows, which have become highly formulaic and predictable over the past few years, being on the decline. It makes us wonder who REALLY is controlling the content — the Gasbags or the suits upstairs pulling the strings.

As of now, it is not working.

PERSONAL FOUL

Tuesday night on HBO's "Real Sports (10:30p.m.)," Bryant Gumbel re-examines a story he first did two years ago on the alarming rate of harrowing injuries suffered by fans at major league ballparks from foul balls.

While MLB goes into this season knowing that all 30 of its members have extended netting to protect more of its customers, Gumbel's interview with Geoffrey Jacobson, the father of the toddler struck by a ball off the bat of Todd Frazier at Yankee Stadium last September, is both encouraging and frightening.

Anyone at MLB or the Yankees or any other team who now thinks this problem is solved might want to listen to what Mr. Jacobson has to say.

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THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORK

Glad to see at least one member of WFAN's CMB is self/show-aware.

After audio of Alex Rodriguez aired where he mispronounced the word "support" — A-Rod said "suppork" — both Chris Carlin and Bart Scott called Rodriguez out for his blunder. Maggie Gray, the more steady rocking voice, attempted to save her colleagues from themselves, saying: "I'm not criticizing him (A-Rod) for that" but they continued on anyway.

Hey, considering Scott mangles the language like another cat who once worked FAN's afternoon drive — Chris (Mad Dog) Russo — all forms of mispronunciation jokes should be banned from "The Nap."

SOUND BYTES

Could you imagine the uproar from a particular radio outlet if someone in the media floated a story that a radio Gasbag was underperforming because he had a drug problem? In essence, that's exactly what Gregg Giannotti and Norman J. Esiason did when they allowed a caller to come on the air and say, without any facts, that Mets first baseman Dom Smith was underperforming because he indulges in a particular substance. Since the show operates on — at least — a seven second delay, they should have dumped this idiot rather than allowing him to continue casting aspersions on Smith… Ya think that Mike (Sports Pope) Francesa's decision to hire an agent suggests he's not having an easy time finding that new gig he's so often talked about?... Dino Costa's manifesto on the state of New York sports radio is a must listen, if only for his takes on Kay and CMB… It hurts hearing Bro Benigno in pain as he continues pressing on, doing his show with Evan Roberts, while recuperating from hip replacement surgery. True trooper… Kudos to Knicks radio voice Ed Cohen who, in his first season behind the microphone, has painted an accurate, descriptive word picture — night after night — of a terrible team. Don't worry kid, it can't get any worse — can it?

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Nate Solder (Al Bello/Getty Images)

DUDE OF THE WEEK: NATE SOLDER

The new Giants offensive tackle signed a lucrative free agent contract last week and reached out to the media to express his view on the economics of it all. He said the money is nice, but if it only benefits the Solder family he has made an awful mistake. Solder, whose young son Hudson has been battling kidney cancer, committed to taking a chunk of the dough he will receive and use it to figure out ways to improve the community he lives in. Now here's a guy whose jersey might be worth purchasing.

DWEEB OF THE WEEK: DEION SANDERS

While his football career is of Hall of Fame stock, worthy of praise and respect, the former defensive back far too often plays the fool on national television. His latest debacle occurred on social media when he brushed aside Tennessee All-Pro safety Kevin Byard "as a fan." Sanders, who is paid handsomely by the NFL Network to report on the league's players, had no idea who Byard is, and what's worse, doesn't care that he doesn't know.

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DOUBLE TALK

What Jacoby Ellsbury said: "My body feels in really good shape, explosive and fast. I couldn't ask (more) from a body standpoint."