@Dpixie: It's already rated M, which is pretty much the video game equivalent. My local gaming stores would card me if I tried to buy DA2. (I'd pass, but the fact remains I'd need to go to that effort.)

About the only way this could get worse is if the game got an AO... though to be fair Isabela singing could easily pull that off.

@riverdaleswhiteflash Ugghhhh I got carded EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Once the asshat behind the register STILL didn't believe me (I look much younger than I am) and made me drag in my mom, before proceeding to READ OUT LOUD all the reasons it was rated M. We both informed him that I was 21 at the time, but he insisted it was his job.

@retroberrii: I'm one of the lucky bastards who looks older than he is. (Well, lucky in some ways, though I can't imagine I'll be happy about my looks a few decades from now.) They still card me when I buy games in gaming stores*, because it really is their job, but they treat it as just a formality.

A nice little coincidence is that I have made a song for Hawke. The song was originally written for a convention, where I (dressed as Varric) would make anyone cosplaying Hawke the victim of the song after drawing the attention of the crowd around us.

So, for your amusement, here is the song:

"I met a Hawke in the park one day"
Mel: When Johnny Comes Marching Home

I met a Hawke in the park one day
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
I met a Hawke in the park one day
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
I met a Hawke in the park one day,
He said, “hey Varric, you wanna lay?”
Get in, get out! Quit faffing about!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

I said I’m not romanceable
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
I said I’m not romanceable
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
I said I’m not romanceable
But sure, your taste’s commendable
Get in, get out! Quit faffing about!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

With Choir Boy he found no luck
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
With Choir Boy he found no luck
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
With Choir Boy he found no luck
‘cause up his arse his head is stuck
Get in, get out! Quit faffing about!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

With Aveline his efforts failed
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
With Aveline his efforts failed
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
With Aveline his efforts failed
‘cause Donnic had her flipped and nailed
Get in, get out! Quit faffing about!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

He went along to Blondie’s place
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
He went along to Blondie’s place
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
He went along to Blondie’s place
Proceeded there to eat his face
Get in, get out! Quit faffing about!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

But then there came a broody elf
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
But then there came a broody elf
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
But then there came a broody elf
Who wanted Hawke all to himself
Get in, get out! Quit faffing about!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

His night with Daisy made him drink
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
His night with Daisy made him drink
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
His night with Daisy made him drink
Seems blood and mirrors ain’t his kink
Get in, get out! Quit faffing about!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

The Arishok impaled him well
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
The Arishok impaled him well
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
The Arishok impaled him well
But with a sword, it hurt like hell
Get in, get out! Quit faffing about!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

Rivaini let him have his way
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
Rivaini let him have his way
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
Rivaini let him have his way
He’s itching to this very day
Get in, get out! Quit faffing about!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!