twenty [or more] minutes of my life.

Alright. Barbara, the woman I work for, does NOT STOP TALKING. Actually, right now… she’s STILL talking to me… but I’m not being rude… this is a form of survival here, people.

Let me explain my current situation. About a half hour ago, I could tell that she was going to start one of these chat sessions…. So being resourceful, I grabbed a sponge and headed towards the stairs like I was busy cleaning. She started before I got to the stairs… I’m in trouble now. This is how it goes…

Barbara: “Oh work is horrible… I tell you, I don’t like the HR people… They’re not the most socially adequate type of people..” [continues on for five minutes.]

Me: “Yeah… ha… yeah….”

[there’s a short pause in the conversation and I move up three stairs.]

Barbara: “The thing is; if my boss says that it’s okay to move the deadline to the 15th of Feb…” [continues on for five minutes.]

Me: [after just nodding for five minutes and playing with the sponge.] “Well that is good to know.” [move up three stairs.]

Barbara: “I tell you, don’t work for a corporate company……” [continues for five minutes.]

Me Inside My Head: “I cannot take this. WHAT is she talking about? Okay, I’m just going to slowly finish going up the stairs… I’ll still nod.”

Barbara: “And the other companies aren’t much better…” [omg, she’s still going.]

Me Inside My Head: “Oh my gosh… I’m just standing here at the top of the stairs! The walking didn’t even phase her! She’s still talking!”

Me: “Yeah… Oh, sure…”

Barbara: “And I basically said, ‘If you want me to leave, keep on doing what you’re doing…” [continues on FOREVER.]

Me Inside My Head: “I have to shift my weight… I’ve been standing here THAT long. Okay, Rach, make this positive. How can you use this for the better? What is constructive that you could be thinking about?”

Barbara: “It’s just all experience… You don’t know until you experience it.” [omg, she’s done!]

Me: [as I walk around the corner.] “Yeah… experience.”

Barbara: “And you have to go through it…” [omg, she’s back at it!]

Me: [literally pulling at my hair cuz she can’t see me right now] “Uh-huh.” [and step back into sight… she’s still standing there at the bottom of the stairs.]

Barbara: “When I was working in London…” [still going.]

Me Inside My Head: “I’m gonna blog about this. I’m going to escape and the first thing I’m going to do is blog… that oughta get some frustration out… you know, telling all three people that read my blog about this. Oh my gosh, I’m THAT girl… I’m officially THAT girl that blogs… whatever, I don’t care. I would seriously pay a lot of good money for someone to call me right now on the house phone. She is STILL talking. I wish that my friends could see this right now… not to make them suffer as well, but just to laugh at it… because I obviously can’t laugh… all I can say is…”

Me: “Mmmm… Yeah…”

[ten more minutes and then I managed to escape.]

It was rough… I basically just had to leave after she finished a sentence. Then she found me again, but I was already on here… being on the computer doesn’t phase her either. SUCCESS… for now.

[I don’t blame you if you didn’t make it through this post… I hardly survived the real thing.]