Dear Joan Rivers…

We miss you terribly. I’m not a huge fan of award shows; personally, I feel they drag on and on, and are typically filled with self-congratulatory dribble, but at least we could count on your honest, no-holds-barred review of the red carpet. Worst dressed culprits strived on the next go-around to make it to your best dressed list, and your best-dressed celebs could be confident that they absolutely did look glamorous. Joan Rivers, you had great taste.

Last night, I could almost hear your post-carpet review on Fashion Police in my head while watching what looked like a bad high school prom.

Given, I’m not under the scrutiny of every camera and bitchy princess in Hollywood, and I’m not churning out multimillion dollar movies (or anythings for that matter), but I would hope I would make some better choices than what we all saw last night.

For example, I wonder what the Fabulous Mrs. Rivers would have to say about the taffeta tulle trend:

2019

Oh no, Heidi, not you too?

Honestly, the only one that pulled it off is Emmy Rossum in Monique Lhillier, but still don’t these dresses harken back to Pretty In Pink? I know this style all too well; I actually wore these types of dresses 4 years in row. The bigger the better. The only thing missing is the carnation and baby’s breath corsage (wrist or pin-on depends on neckline).

1980’s See the resemblance?

I love a good tuxedo on a woman, but these just didn’t cut it. Too big (like she got into daddy’s closet), too short (forgot pants?) or just confusing, the fit of these were off.

Judy Greer, Julianne Moore, Elisabeth Moss

There were some beauties, however. I thought the following two took the Disney Princess theme, and made it look classic, grown up and posh – definitely winners for the night:

GORGEOUS Gemma Chan in Valentino

The back is simply stunning.

As always, Halle Berry never lets us down (wearing Zuhair Murad) – does she ever get older?

Did you guys watch the red carpet last night? What do you think? Am I being too harsh?