Charges have finally come in on Aqib Talib, the frequently high (if you believe his pre-draft drug tests) and drafted-up-high (20th overall in 2008) Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback who reportedly decked a cabbie because . . . well, it’s still not exactly clear why.

Talib was arrested on August 19 after a bizarre incident in which he and two teammates — linebacker Angelo Crowell and fellow corner Torrie Cox — were taking a taxi from a St. Petersburg nightclub to a hotel in Tampa.

Here’s how it played out: Crowell was texting someone when he suddenly felt the cab swerve. The cab driver, David Duggan, said it was like “someone hit me upside the head with a hammer. . . . He hit me so hard he knocked my hat off my head.” Assistant State Attorney Richard Ripplinger even told reporters that they have no idea what actually prompted Talib’s attack. Duggan himself said that the other two players were as shocked as he was and that Crowell stepped in to protect the cabbie — all while the car was driving about 70 mph along the interstate.

“No one reported that there was any rational justification for hitting the man,” said Ripplinger. “There was no argument reported to us.”

Cox originally told the Florida Highway Patrol that Talib hit Duggan, but he’s now saying he was sleeping. Which is interesting, because Talib himself was soon out cold as well. Talib was originally arrested for simple battery and resisting arrest, but the latter charge has been dropped, as it now appears that Talib was not resisting but simply “had a lot to drink and was possibly asleep,” according to Ripplinger.

Talib should be arraigned within the next few weeks. If convicted, he faces up to a year in county jail. The player, incidentally, was free to travel to London for this past weekend’s game against the Patriots. Maybe driving on the left-hand side of the road will be more to his liking.

Return of the Whizzinator
Remember Onterrio Smith? Like Talib, he was a much-hyped college talent who came into the NFL with so-called red flags. He was a good-looking player on the field, but got suspended by the league for the year in 2005 when — in an incident that became a much-joked-about national scandal — he was arrested at an airport in possession of dried urine and a fake penis-like device called the “Whizzinator.” Forever associated with the hilarious drug-test-busting equipment, Smith never made it back to the NFL. He got cut by the Vikings in 2006, tried to make it with the CFL’s Winnipeg Blue Bombers, broke his foot, and was done for good.

Earlier this year, he got busted on a possession charge and must have missed a hearing, because he was picked up for speeding last week in Truckee, California, and hauled in on a warrant. He was released on $15,000 bond. Something tells me he’s about to join the gaggle of perpetually arrested former NFL players wandering the wilds of California. Give him 16 points, and Todd Marinovich’s phone number — maybe they can room together.

Golden goofballs Yet another major-program football player walked the Taser plank this past week, though this one was called back from the edge just in time.

Catch a falling star There was a time, not long ago, when two things were true. The first was that the University of Miami was a perennial college-football powerhouse. The second was that Willie Williams was going to be the next big thing among college-football linebackers.

Slap shot Bogdan "Rudy" Rudenko, a minor-league hockey player who was most recently with the now-defunct Colorado Springs Gold Kings, has been arrested in connection with the Stallings, North Carolina, shooting of a friend and former teammate of his (some reports describe him as an "associate") named Yuri Kharitonov.

Rocky pot Late last May, a goofy-looking guy named Charles Austin Corn — a student at the University of Tennessee — was shot in South Knoxville in what looked like an attempt to rob his stash. He was unable to communicate with police after the shooting and died five days later.

Bengals and Bulldogs There hasn't been a whole lot to cheer about in New England Patriots country of late, and I'm not sure that this will fit the bill, but let's try it on for size.

NBA shoot-around Sometimes, even superstar athletes just wear out their welcome. When Gilbert Arenas came into the league back in 2001, and especially after he moved to the Wizards in '03, "Agent Zero" was poised to be the next big thing in basketball.

Number two blues As we approach NFL draft season, it’s fun to look back at those great draft prospects of yore, the workout warriors and combine heroes who titillated coordinators, coaches, and fans leading up to the big selection day in New York.

The dumbass chronicles Right about now, every football fan in America is asking him- or herself the same question: if Shaun Rogers is dumb enough to bring a gun to an airport, what did the guy score on the Wonderlic?

Sacked We always knew Lawrence Taylor was a good bet to get in trouble.

Facebook fracas Sooner or later, Facebook had to figure into the sports-crime scene. There are at least two cases now of pro football players getting arrested for assault in fights resulting from their wives looking at their Facebook friends lists.

America's scam What a year for former New England Patriots and the criminal-justice system!

LET GO, METS | August 18, 2010 As difficult as this summer has been for those of us counted among the Red Sox faithful, let's all agree: it would be a hell of a lot worse to be a New York Mets fan right now.