1/26/98
-- So exhausted. Super Bowl Sunday wore me out, and I didn't even
play in the game. I've been so wussified that seven beers and a lot of
junk food wear me out by the fourth quarter. It was light beer, too!
Right now any one in the computer lab with me could probably kick my ass,
and make me say "Thank you, sir, may I have another?" Sunday wore
me out some much that I have to spend today recuperating. From seven
beers, junk food, and gambling!!! There weren't even any drugs involved.
Or physical activity, except for the occasional chest-bump w/Das after
the Broncos scored or Elway scrambled for three yards.
Everyone wanted to go bowling after the game, and so we did. I made
a startling revelation -- bowling is a lot harder than it looks.
The only time I'd been bowling was when I was ten, down at Miramar.
That was also the first time I saw a condom dispenser, and I remember thinking,
"The Navy must be soooo cool." Anyhow, I figured I'd could bowl a
69, right? I bowled a 63, 62, and a 50. I got worse
as I went on. Too much stuff to keep track off -- where your arm
is, your right leg, your steps, where you aim...too confusing. I
always fantasize that I'm actually some hyper-coordinated white boy who
never got the chance to show off his athletic talents because he was too
busy playing Car Wars and reading comic books. No more. I suck,
physically. Like I said, anyone in here could kick my ass.
That Stephen Hawking guy could probably kick my ass, and then explain the
physical laws regarding my ass kicking, and how it all relates to the Big
Bang.
The Big Bang -- sounds like a euphemism for ejaculation.
Speaking of ejaculation, Phil's dog Valmont humps a patio chair when it
gets excited. It was freaky, the Broncos would score, we'd all yell, Valmont
would bark and then he'd hump this chair. My dog back in Florida humps
stuffed animals, but that's kind of understandable -- his version of an
inflatable woman. But a damned patio chair? Dogs are stupid.
From the "I Can Relate" file: As an NBA all-star in the 1960s
and 1970s, Washington Wizards General Manager Wes Unseld said he watched
players smoke marijuana and, as a consequence, "act weird." How weird?
"It's like the old joke that goes: A guy's watching a football game with
60,000 people. He sees the team get into the huddle and he swears that
they're talking about him," Unseld said. "You know, that kind of stuff."