I just don't know

What do I do that is so wrong? Everyone around me is hating me, avoiding me. I try my hardest to be normal..to be nice. I try to help everyone I can. But when I want help everyone leaves me and closes their windows. When I need people the most I feel the most alone..Its killing me inside. My self esteem is so low...every five seconds I'm scared I'll lose a friend. I'm too scared to talk to new people because all I can think about is one more person hating me. I'm so tired of it.

Maybe my presence isn't wanted. Maybe if I just drop dead no one will notice.
Better that no one care than to hurt anyone else anymore.

I'm sorry for being such a monster.

And I did not mean to copy the thread name...Terribly sorry. There goes another mistake.