Is an apology letter and audio recording of my rapist admitting to what he's done enough to get him convicted or does there need to be more? 18 year old female.

Posts by spookyghost123456

2019-03-14 06:19:25 Is an apology letter and audio recording of my rapist admitting to what he's done enough to get him convicted or does there need to be more? 18 year old female.
2019-03-13 22:29:34 Would this be enough evidence to convict a rapist?

spookyghost123456 548
2019-03-13 22:19:25

Hi, I'm sorry if I'm on the wrong post group for this, but I could not find anything and I never use Reddit. My boyfriend and I are on a break because of his abusive behavior. I've been raped and physically assaulted by him on multiple occasions and last week he wrote me a letter admitting to raping me and apologizing. He still tries to talk to me about things and I've decided to start secretly recording everything so I can have proof when I go to the police. I'm going to find a way to get him to admit to everything and show how fucked up he is. There have been rumors that he has raped other people that I discovered only while we were dating, but I was skeptical because the girls he dated in the past who claim that were all extremely jealous of me and tried to get with him while we were in a relationship. I don't know how to make this anonymous but if someone can tell me I'd appreciate it.

I live in Indiana and I was 17 when he started raping me. Any help is appreciated.Thank you.

I'll try to. I don't know when I'l make a report but I really don't want my family getting involved or get harassed at school by people who are friends of his, so I'll probably wait until the end of the school year.

I am so sorry that you're going through this, but you may not have time to wait until the end of the year.

Your abuser may become more violent if he realises that you might incriminate him. It is important that you take action to protect yourself and the best action you can take for that is to talk to a good attorney and then the police.

If you can't find or afford a suitable attorney, seek another useful, trustworthy adult. That might be a rape charity advisor, police officer, school councillor or family friend. Be aware that you sadly might need to try more than one person before you find someone that has the knowledge, kindness, willingness and ability to help you.

Stay safe and stay away from your abuser if possible.

Less importantly, consider making multiple backups of all recordings you make, letters they send and instant messaging conversations. They will all be important evidence. Store the backups on different services with different login details such that the evidence cannot be destroyed easily.

If you don't want to upload the data for privacy reasons, you can zip and encrypt it first. The free 7zip software offers secure encryption.

If he did, he would be in a load of trouble because he would be going against the code of ethics he signed when he first started working as a cop. He's not legally aloud to discuss what's going on with your mom.

If you’re worried about social repercussions, the longer you wait the more you risk them being worse from the shitty people who would say something... you must see what goes on when women step forward after a length of time. You need to go now, there’s really no way to go about this where people won’t find out, but you’re doing the right thing, and if he’s done the same to other girls hopefully they’ll have the same courage as you to speak up as well

Would you consider speaking with a school counselor? Tell them everything. They would be obligated to contact police, and I'm sure they could put you in contact with other resources. This would be another source of documentation for your case, and it may offer you a sense of support instead of starting the process alone. I know it's scary, but this HAS to be reported. Sending you love, strength, and whatever you need to begin healing. You can do this, OP.❤

" Indiana's wiretapping law is a "one-party consent" law. Indiana makes it a crime to record a telephone conversation unless one party to the conversation consents. ... Therefore, you may record a telephone conversation if you are a party to the conversation or you get permission from one party to the conversation.

yes people are this ruthless I almost killed myself at 18 now 21 after being raped by a friend at a graduation party everyone made fun of me for hooking up with him as i was one of a few girls in the group and i never had sex with anyone they knew. I was too scared to report it and now regret it i really hope op reports their abuser

I'm an ex police officer. Go to a Police station. With everything you've got. Asl to speak with an officer or two in private and tell/show them everything. They will jott it all down and get things started. Please do not bottle this up or be scared of it, its what the police are here for.

First, you rock in collecting evidence and getting ready to go to the police. Good for you. Despite the trauma you sound strong.

You might want to go to r/legaladvice - this subreddit is really about sexual questions/issues/concerns. You should also seek therapy and counseling. Even if you think you don't need it, consider talking to someone - often the damage, though real, is suppressed and will impact you later in life. There are rape support services that can help. You might want to go to r/rapecounseling.

not necessarily. it's illegal to secretly record audio in many states in the USA. u/spookyghost123456. if you illegally record someone, they can sue you under the wiretap act. please look into this and consult an attorney before you go to the police with any recordings.

Indiana's wiretapping law is a "one-party consent" law. Indiana makes it a crime to record a telephone conversation unless one party to the conversation consents. See Ind. Code § 35-31.5-2-176 and Ind. Code § 35-33.5-5-5. Therefore, you may record a telephone conversation if you are a party to the conversation or you get permission from one party to the conversation

that's not what I said, and my advice is not false. I warned against bringing illegal recordings to the police (before the post had been updated with the state). illegally obtained recordings are not admissable evidence.

"(d) Except as proof in an action or prosecution for violation of this section, evidence obtained as a result of eavesdropping upon or recording a confidential communication in violation of this section is not admissible in any judicial, administrative, legislative, or other proceeding."

It matters which state (which wasn't specified when the guy posted originally).

You're a jackass for making profoundly stupid legal pronouncements, as a complete layperson, in order to dissuade a serial-rapist's victim from going to the police. I'm trying to be polite here (I really am) but the best thing for you to do is shut the fuck up and, if necessary, glue your keyboard keys to prevent you from further harming others.

OP's fine to record in California as well, btw. And this blanket pronouncement of yours, non-attorney, is also false:

illegally obtained recordings are not admissable evidence

You know what actually is illegal in most states, and definitely is in Indiana? The unauthorized practice of law. So you're here, anonymously breaking the law, to harm a rape victim. I hope you feel good about yourself... maybe a snarky comeback would help with that, hmm?

Read the whole document, jackass. There's an exception for collecting evidence of rape, along with many other exceptions. Know-nothing laypersons such as yourself should NEVER give legal advice. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE, GIVING FALSE LEGAL ADVICE, TO HARM RAPE VICTIMS?

Read the whole document, jackass. Know-nothing laypersons such as yourself should NEVER give legal advice.

Yes I was going to say I used to have a friend who was an attorney with a rape crisis center. Places like that can help you figure out what to do! They will know how what moves you make can make or break your case.

First before you go to the police you should speak with a lawyer experienced in handling this kind of issue. Some police forces treat rape victims well, others do not. Having a lawyer can make a huge difference.

I am not in a position to advise you further. If your community has a battered women’s shelter or a rape hotline they may be tapped into the local situation and resources available to you. Make dealing with this a major priority and do not delay.

I want to report it after I graduate in May so I don't get harassed by his friends and family that go to my school. It's hard because part of me still loves him despite everything but I feel like for most of my relationship I've been brainwashed and manipulated. I just hope someone believes me if I do press charges. I worry that my mom will accuse me of just regretting having sex and not take me seriously, or tell everyone about it.

The guy is a rapist with a history I would stop giving a fuck about his friends and what BS drama they are going to try and cause. If they can see hard proof he's a monster and still call him a friend they are terrible people you should definitely not care about. If you hold off you are putting yourself in danger. You have no idea what he might do if he finds out you're recording him, he could get violent.

In fact if you haven't yet change your passwords if you even slightly suspect he might have access. Back everything up to a cloud account like Dropbox. Take pictures of the written note.

Don't wait under any circumstances. If you do, his defense attorney will suggest that you waited because it was a fake report, that a real rape victim would not have prioritized it less than a graduation, etc.

I think the best advice your going to get is from a lawyer. I think you probably do have enough evidence though. Do you have any other supports at home to help you through this? You could start there. Maybe have someone with you if you go to police or lawyer. Good for you for even thinking on outing him, I know it’s not easy. Take care.

I think my family would only shame me or accuse me of wanting it and regretting it after. I have a friend that he tried to keep me away from that I've confided in and she's willing to help me through this. Thank you

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. I just want to say that you’re not alone and there are a lot of people who want to help you (not just internet people but actual physical people who live near you and who can).

I have a friend who is pressing charges against someone who physically assaulted her last year. It’s been really hard for her but she’s mad as hell and that’s been enough to sustain her so far.

What I mean is: it’s going to be hard to go through the proper channels to report and try to convict this asswipe. It’s getting easier for us girls to speak up and be taken seriously, but a lot of cases of rape, even with good evidence, don’t end in a conviction.

So I wanted to say it’s okay if it gets too hard and you don’t want to do it. It’s okay to walk away and not put yourself through all the very public emotional pain of the court.

But if you want to do it, you absolutely should pursue this and don’t let anyone deter you. You deserve to be heard and to process this in your own time and in your own way.

I definitely want to get some closure from this. I have tried so hard to make things work and he continues to disrespect me and yet he still says he loves me. His whole reality is altered from what things actually are. Part of me thinks he would confess to doing it, and the other part of me thinks he would make sure to tell everyone everything I confided in him and turn my family against me. I'm scared, but I have started to accept the fact that he only has his own interests in his mind and that I'm just an enjoyable toy that he thinks he can take off the shelf whenever he wants to. I might back out or I might not. It's hard. I just need to surround myself with my old friends that he isolated me from.

We all know Attorneys work for money and are not cheap, but this isn’t necessarily always case.

Like most doctors, most attorneys will donate some amount of time per year for nonprofit causes. At a minimum, many will listen to you, hear you out, look at your evidence and give you a general recommendation.

Depending on what they see, they might decide to help you for free to get your statement into the police while protecting your legal rights. If not, they will be able to point you in the right direction of a legal office that might want to help you through this at little to no charge.

For every story about the “Blood Sucking Lawyer” you see in the news, you have 10 attorneys who got into law to help people and would jump at the cause of helping a young person who is a victim of sexual and physical abuse get their story properly delivered to the police in a manor that properly protects the client.

This person who harmed you will not want to go away. He abused you physically, sexually and emotionally. You have to factor in with a mind like that, they might have found that you didn’t report them. This type of mentality can see you as someone who doesn’t fight back and come at you with a sob story to get into your good graces, only to repeat the same pattern again.

If they do it once, they have a likelihood of doing it again. You are young and don’t want to have to deal with regret on this. Reach out to local attorneys, even if it’s via email. Explain you were sexually assaulted as a minor (and now an adult), your attacker admitted in written corespondents of the attack, you have also recorded some calls.

Edit: not really an edit. But I made an assumption with this post that you are 18 and might not have money for legal council; apologies if this assumption with my post is wrong.

Look up police non-emergency number on Google for your county. I'm in CO, when I called them here they were extremely helpful and told me exactly what I needed to do and what my rights were, all anonymously.

Ghost, I'm really sorry this happened to you. Don't even THINK of trying to do this alone. Def sit your parents down, and talk to them. They need to be there for you, and it is gonna make them feel a lot better if they hear it from you first, rather than the cops. (Who absolutely WILL interview them anyway.)

You said that you think it happened to others. Do you know them? Giving their names to the cops (ask them first) will make things easier / more credible.

I do know them, both have tried to get with him and tried to convince him to leave me for them. Due to drama with one girl threatening to hurt me and her possibly being the one that attacked my car, I am unwilling to start a conversation with either of them because they are most extremely mentally unstable. Also they are gossips and would spread the rumors and I am ready for that to happen. There is one girl I might be able to reach out to that he dated in middle school. She is sane and has never tried to harm me or disrespect me.

At the very least, it would warrant an investigation and an arrest could be made if additional evidence is found or other victims come forward. However, without prior reports of abuse/domestic violence or rape kit, police likely don’t have probable cause to arrest and bring charges as both a letter and audio can be falsified. If he’s harassing and/or threatening you, go to the police and file a restraining order. Lawyer up and build your case. If he violates the order, he will be arrested.

A conviction is rarely guaranteed. If police gathers enough evidence, he may be charged with rape. But even then, if he pleads not guilty he has a right to stand trial and it would be up to the jury to determine whether he’s guilty or not in light of all the evidence presented.

I don't think a letter would be enough, but if I got an audio recording of him saying it maybe. I also worry that if he gets out of jail after so many years he would try to hurt me. It's hard because I feel like I'm betraying his family too, and they did nothing wrong and have no idea that he's doing any of this.

One of my best friends is currently in an extremely similar situation. So by witnessing everything that's going on, from the reactions of others to the reaction of the police, I can suggest the following steps:

1) you have no obligation to report him for any other reason than to bring justice for YOURSELF. However, if the girls he's previously (supposedly) assaulted have come forward, there's a good chance that they're telling the truth, because now they might feel like they're more likely to be believed. My suggestion would be to talk to them. Start a conversation. Listen to whether anything they say is similar to your experience and draw conclusions from those conversations.
He seems manipulative, so don't listen to the doucheface.

2) tell your CLOSEST friends and your parent(s). They have the potential to be an extremely powerful support system that will help prevent you from doing anything stupid.

3) tell the police IMMEDIATELY. They will have more time to file evidence to build your case against him, but make sure to tell them about your plan to record the conversations. This will make the evidence you provide more viable.

4) the second the police say you've gathered enough evidence to pursue him, cut all contact with him. Block him and his friends on social media, set your profiles to private, DO NOT ANSWER TO ANY OF HIS ATTEMPTS OF CONTACTING YOU. This is so you don't jeopardize the case - people say stupid things when they're frustrated, and you may be coerced into getting back with him and dropping the charges.

I'm not sure how much US law and court proceedings differ from European, however I was sexually abused and molested as a child. Later in my teens (14-15) I eventually got one of the guys involved to somewhat spill the beans in a single text.
Mind you he didn't spell out word for word how and what he did but he did seemingly admit to it.

This one single text message with the support of my lawyer is what I went to court with. And the court seeing no other way interpret what was said in said text eventually got him to admit.

Seeing as you've got it in black and white I don't think you've got anything to loose, yet I'd reccomend checking with a lawyer(or do you go to an attorney in 'murica? Please correct me on this) to be sure.

A jury and/or judge could certainly find the combination of his written confession, voice recorded confession, and your testimony compelling enough for a conviction. It's what's called "direct evidence".

You did the right thing by making the voice recording (s), as your state law allows this.

Your next step should be to talk to the police, in my opinion. There's no apparent need for you to suffer the expense of an attorney, unless you're worried that you may have committed a crime. Good luck.

You may want to speak with a rape/sexual abuse crisis therapist they know exactly how to approach this situation, and will be able to walk and guide you through this horrible situation, so you will have support and also "in most states" this a free service. Not only are you strong, but have very good intuition, you should be very proud of yourself! I am! You can do this! And the sooner the better so that he won't be able to victimize anyone else. You can also call the non-emergency police line and they will be able to tell you what you need to know, and you can do this anonymously. I am so sorry this happened to you, from one survivor to another.....you are not this abuse, you are a survivor, and you have a good head on your shoulders, you can trust your intuition, if you ever need to talk, or need someone to just listen, or support or encouragement please feel free to reach out....I am wishing nothing but the best for you, you deserve nothing less!

You should call a local rape crisis center and ask for advice. I work at a rape crisis center in Boston and if you call they can connect you with legal services more specifically tailored to sexual assault cases. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I will try to find one, the hard part is that I work all the time and I have school. Also my mom has a GPS on my phone and I can't go anywhere without her knowing my location and I don't want to tell her yet, if at all.

I thought I would give an update, I did go to the police. They ended up giving me back my evidence after about a month and as far as I know they are doing nothing about it. My mom was pretty cruel at first when I told her about it but lately she hasn't been trying to make me feel bad for being raped. He's found a new target and I can tell she's falling for him. I feel bad for not warning her,but the last thing I want is to be bullied at school over this or tip my ex off that I told someone what happened. I hope the best for you all and thank you for the advice. On a good note, since I've been away from him I've been able to apply myself more to things I want to do. I got some great scholarships to help me pay for college and my dad called and told me today that he's going to be helping me pay for most of it. I got a part time position at a horse stable and they are currently doing a background check on me before I start. Life has gotten a lot better and I'm very happy. 17 more days of high school and I never have to see my rapist again! You all helped and I would hate to think about where I would be today had I not posted to this thread and asked for help. Thank you.

I'm not a legal expert so I maybe completely wrong about this. But what you are doing sounds like it could be considered entrapment well I don't what proper terms are, but it may not be admissable in court. I would seek legal advice with a lawyer to find what the correct steps to take. Overall good on you for taking steps to defend yourself and put this guy away. But I would talk to a lawyer to find out the proper way to do this.

Is there any sexual abuse survivor charities nearby you? My town has an awesome charity that do free counselling for rape/sexual abuse and free legal help to prosecute, it's completely confidential and they will help you through everything you need until you need to pay for a lawyer.

It's worth looking into because they have lots of experience solely in sexual abuse charges and they will answer all of your questions without you having to go through the massive process of getting a lawyer straight away.

Edit: just seen someone linked to Indiana CESA which provides free legal advice and collects evidence, definitely use it! They are amazing services and very understanding compared to a normal lawyer as they deal with this every day. I hope you get the help you need :)

I am a police officer in the UK and don't know your country's laws or standard of proof, but this is more evidence than a serious sexual assault allegation usually begins with.

There are some things you can do to check what other evidence police may be able to bring to the table. They would often be quite traumatic for a victim to go through themselves but you seem quite determined to look at it with an investigative mindset.

Is there direct physical evidence - did the assaults happened more than 72hrs ago? I am guessing that is the case. Do you have any evidence of sexual activity between you two - used condoms, as-yet-unwashed underwear etc? Useful evidence is not only evidence that an assault occurred but something to disprove a false account of events - if he were to claim in interview that he didn't have a sexual relationship with you, for instance, those could disprove it.

Do you have texts or direct messages that show culpability on his part (eg apologies, promises it won't happen again etc)? Are they likely to be used by the defence (eg. messages sent by you that suggest you consented. sent after an attack)?

Do you have names and contact details (or ways to obtain them - which school they go to etc) of the other girls?

What do you have on the recordings? I've heard people talk about the legal issues of recording conversations in the US but I doubt anything like that applies to text messages - make sure you get regular screenshots if it's a format were he can delete his messages from his end. Direct messages lead to a lot of guilty pleas.

Did anything happen in public? Not just sexual offences but aggression or assaults - domestic abuse that puts him in a suspicious light. Are there any witnesses to his behaviour against you? Most CCTV systems only keep footage for 28 days - is there anything in this window?

Is the letter handwritten? If not, can you prove it comes from him? What does he say in it? Look at it from a defence's point of view and see if there is wriggle room; in court he will try and say it wasn't an admission to any crime. 'I'm sorry for hurting you' has plenty, 'I'm sorry I had sex with you while you were asleep' does not.

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I can understand a person not wanting to proceed with a rape allegation if they don't think it will result in a prosecution - I don't think I would want to myself. Your best bet would be to talk about it in person with either a criminal lawyer of some kind or with police. Getting a conviction without the support of a victim in this kind of crime is basically impossible so getting an appointment to speak to a police officer isn't likely to spiral out of your hands unless they think this guy is a continuing and actionable danger to others - and you can just not say his name. Put down all the evidence you have and ask them if it's going anywhere. Point out that you're really worried about starting something that just hurts you and they'll be a lot more wise to keeping things discreet - I say this as if he has previous for sexual offences or an ongoing investigation for similar against another girl, the scope of the investigation changes enormously.

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To answer your question directly - an apology letter and audio recording will be enough to get a conviciton if he is shown them in interview and confesses. If he denies it, it may or may not.

Yes, because it means he will probably deny it in interview. A letter, or any single piece of evidence really, can be faked, and the defense do not need to prove that it was, only that it isn't beyond reasonable doubt that it could have been. That isn't to say a conviction isn't possible.

I'm hoping that I can get more evidence. I did record him when he called me last night and he talked about molesting me, so if I can't get the charge for rape at least there's something for sexual assult.

You dont need enough evidence for starters to go to the police but you have more than enough anyway. You dont need to talk to a lawyer, the police will prosecute for you.

Go to the police, say youve been assaulted and want to make a statement. The apology itself is enough to charge someone because it definitely proves something happened. The audio recording of him admitting it is more than enough. Just go and do it, police are very nice and will tell you what will happen and what they will do

Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline RAINN or call a local rape crisis center Hotline in your area. Where I'm from we at the crisis center provide free legal advocacy and can talk you through the pros and cons of reporting your assault to police.

I would weigh up very carefully the issue of going to court. Really carefully. I know I know we tell everyone "report it!" But the courts systems are adversarial, and will throw many unfair things at you. Get a therapist, lawyer and then go to the police.

Your better bet is to get a restraining order and a domestic violence order against him. Use the letter and the voice mail as proof for that. The minute he turns up at your place or the minute you spot him - call the police to get him arrested.

Multiple breaches of that order will get him arrested and if he kicks off with the police - well that then opens him up to a world of trouble. If he's the type that's been doing this and no one's said no? That will help you in the long run.

Document everything, get photos and get a medical team to look at you.

I wish you the very best. I hope that things will improve and you will recover. If I blundered or said anything that wasn't 100% believing of you then I take that back. I do 100% believe you, I just have doubts about most legal systems.

Just get some one that can help with the mental healing of that. Some one registered and good.

That is a hall mark of most abusers. They spread their poison far and wide to see what sticks. It's all about control, and all about them, they will undermine you and deny and lie on a regular basis.

A good therapist will get you to see what emotional self defense you can use and how abusers operate so you can neutralize their toxicity. There is a good chance that your abuser has started on the people around you already so that plausible denial is a thing as is grooming people. This of course back feeds to you and self doubt, which of course makes it all the more hideous. Documenting everything is your friend here and getting good professional help.

That restraining order needs to be filed ASAP. You need protection from his bullshit. You will get more trauma from reporting him, but you will be even more exposed by not. It is officially a horrendous situation that will take a long time to solve.

Depending on where you live it may be illegal for you to record him without his knowledge. A lot of times only 1 party to the conversation (aka you) needs to know it’s being recorded. You need to make sure that you aren’t going to be committing a crime yourself to protect yourself. As others have said, you need a lawyer.

Thank you. I tried contacting a law firm but they never got back to me so I'm going to file a report before it's too late. As someone earlier said, the later I wait to report the less relevant it gets.