Sunday, 7 December 2014

Paper Chains

Or:The more original the discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.

- Arthur Koestler

Me:I’ve decided I’m
not going to write a blog entry about Paper Chains.

Him:Okay.

Me:Is that
alright?

Him:Is this your blog entry about Paper Chains?

Me:Ummmm…Yeah.No.Well, it would’ve been if I
was going to write one, but I thought, “Better not.”Once again, they got my name wrong.

Him:What d’you mean
they got your name wrong?

Me:I wasn’t credited
with my proper name.

Him:Oh, okay.

Me:So, I can’t do
much with the anecdote.

Him:That’s a shame.

Me:It is a shame.

Him:Well, off you go
then.

Me:It was a lot of
fun.And we got to wander around
the memories of a town.1

Him:Yes, that’s
right.I was there.

Me:I know you were
there.

Him:And, if you’re
not going to write a blogpost about it then you can go now.

Me:Ha!In fact…There’s lots of other things that’re quite exciting that I can’t
actually talk about either.

Him:I can’t imagine
why you’d just be randomly talking to me about what we did yesterday.

Me:It’s in case
you’d forgotten.

Him:I haven’t.You can go now.

Me:You don’t want to
say anything about the…Umm…

Him:Why would I do
that?That’d imply that you’re recording
this.You’re not recording this are you?

Me:Yeah?

Him:Why are you
recording this if you’re not making it into a blogpost?

Me:It might be a
triple bluff.

Him:Ah, well, in
that case I’m not going to contribute, because you lied to me.You said you weren’t going to make a blogpost
and now you are making a blogpost and
so I’m not going to contribute anymore.So, goodbye.

Me:Right.There’s some quite exciting stuff going on,
but we can’t really talk about any of
it.2

Pause.

It’s nice that December’s finally here.

Pause.

And on that bombshell.

Him: Ha!That was glorious.Best one yet.

1. Seriously, I’d love to tell you about the four
locomotive journeys through a darkening monochrome landscape me and the Him took
yesterday before being given a VIP guided-tour around the air-conditioned
underground archives of a town that used to be the proto-Welsh fort of the
Britons. But I can’t. Sorry.