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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Anything that you do in life has side effects, right? Well that is what I tell myself at least. In working on my Happiness Project, I find that there are some things..okay A LOT of things...that I need to be changed about me. So one of these said side effects has to be the death of the too-nice-to-everybody and oh-so-worried-about-what-people think girl that I am leaving behind. Now mind you, I don't mean that I won't be nice to people. I just mean that I will not be the doormat that I once was. I refuse to go back there EVER again.

So what has happened to this girl? Where is this get walked on...or rather trampled on...time and time again girl? Where is the girl that never said no to anybody regardless of her own wants and needs? What happened to the girl that put everything she wanted to do aside every time so that when somebody came along with a need, she was the first person to say, okay, sure!? Well folks, due to a series of unfortunate events, some self-inflicted, some inflicted upon her by others, some really bad judgment calls, some really hard emotional spills, a serious need to toughen up a bit, and a major realization that it is okay for her to take care of herself first and then help the others who are deserving of it, she was pronounced dead at the age of 35.

In her mere 35 years she has made some really stupid choices, has had some really tough times emotionally from early on in life that had to do with an alcoholic father and a major need to feel needed and loved by him, which led to the people-pleasing, always say yes even when she knew deep down she didn't want to or shouldn't, doormat that she became. The death was something that she saw coming and was met with a bittersweet end.

On the one hand, she needed to transition to a place where she mattered, where her life meant more to herself than it ever had. She needed to find herself and be at peace with herself, but most importantly be TRUE to herself. She needed to leave all of the garbage behind that she has been pulling behind her like a trash barge for years. She knew that this time would come and that this time was a time of transition and rebirth. But most importantly, she knew that this time was the time for her to love herself in order to allow love from everybody else. She needed to realize that she has a voice, she has an opinion, she has wants and needs, and that what she has to say and how she feels is important. If the people in her life really love her, they would want to hear how she feels and take into account her thoughts and emotions instead of always barking and dictating to her. If they don't then they don't love her and she doesn't need them. She decided she wasn't going to take it anymore and she started standing up for herself. She took her power back, and what emerged from the Death of the Good Girl was the Birth of a Confident, Self-Respecting, Self-Loving Woman who isn't taking anybody's crap anymore!

So bittersweet? Yes definitely! But I have found out that less honey tends to not attract so many stinging and greedy bees, but rather selective bees who are ready to take on the challenge of getting to the sweet that matters, the good stuff. So I will lessen the sweet in order to weed out the greedy bees and I am ready to embrace those who are willing to love me for the me that I want to be instead of the me they want me to be.

I have spent my whole adult life playing "nice" and always doing as I am told or asked, always feeling like I am a child and taking orders from the grown-ups. I have let myself be bullied by so many people that I thought really and truly cared about me that I have let myself be used and manipulated in ways that I still can't believe I let happen. When you are one way for so long, its hard to be another way. Its hard to imagine yourself being loved by being strong instead of weak and being accepted by those who are so used to you following orders and trying to please if you aren't like that anymore. I am an adult, I am a strong woman. I am a wife and a mother, not a maid and a babysitter. I am tired of being treated like a child and will no longer have it. So anybody who wants to try to belittle me or make me feel badly anymore, you have a surprise in store for you, because as part of my Happiness Project, I will let you know that I matter too. I have a voice and I have just as much right to share it as you do. Bullies are just weak people with loud voices that demand to be heard, even when what they have to say is irrelevant and unintelligent. Emotional bullies are the worst and the hardest to deal with because you are emotionally attached and they feed on that attachment knowing that you are emotionally invested and its not so easy to walk away from them. But the girl that always took that garbage...you know...the Good Girl....well she doesn't exist anymore. She won't be made a fool of and she won't let their negative states bring her down. Not anymore!

In my next 35 years, I will live my life as I want to. I will not do things because I think it will make others happy constantly and in turn make me miserable. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to turn into oober-bitch because I don't think I have that in me. But I do think that I need to grow a backbone and I need to stand my ground when it comes to being pushed around. I want to be positive and light. I want to grow spiritually. I want to be the best mother I can be and a wonderful example to my children about how a person should be. I want to live in harmony with the world instead of under its feet. I want to stand by my opinions regardless of how I think people will react to them. I want to stand by my beliefs with conviction even though it goes against the mainstream. I want to be soft and warm when I need to be but strong and tough as nails when I need to be. I want the balance that I am constantly seeking to be my reality and I will work to make that happen. I want to be true to myself and true to my life.......and so unfolds more of my Happiness Project!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Everybody deserves to be happy right? I believe so, in fact, I know so! I am so fortunate to be happy about so many things in my life and I try hard every day not to take for granted what I am grateful for. But, there are some things that I am not so happy about, that weigh on me, that I know I need to change or do something about, but finding the courage, the time, the gumption to do so isn't always so easy.

I recently read an article in an old Good Housekeeping magazine that was about a Happiness Project. A woman decided that she would take more time for herself and for the things in her life that made her happy. She wanted to do an experiment to see if these things would truly make her life better and make her....well....more happy. So she went ahead and make a conscious effort to every week/month concentrate on something in her life she wanted to change. I fell in love with this idea! I want to do my own Happiness Project!

So, I am going to tag all of my Happiness Project posts and hopefully learn some things about myself along the way. I have a couple of things I want to tackle first and foremost that are attributes of myself I need to change, so those will be coming up shortly.

I think everybody should take time out of their busy lives with taking care of others, work, and all of their responsibilities in life to focus on themselves and what makes them TRULY happy. What parts of yourself do you want to change? What characteristics do you wish to posses or rid yourself of? Think about it....its a deep dark subject, but one I have to get over being afraid of and tackle, head on!

And on a side note....Merry Mabon! It is autumn equinox and time to celebrate life and all that it entails, good and bad. So what a better time to start my Happiness Project than today?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

So, I saw on Facebook through one of the pages I follow about this placed called the "National Consumer Panel." I had heard of it before and almost signed up for it, but ended up having lots going on in my house at the time and didn't want to add one more thing. I heard from this FB page that they were accepting new families so I thought, let's give it a shot and see what happens! Why not?

My son thinks that the scanner that you use is the coolest gadget EVER! and he has become my designated helper with HUGE amounts of enthusiasm (we'll see how long it lasts ;-).

Basically, you scan all of the purchases that come into your home with a handheld scanner that has a docking station you hook into your modem/router at home. You are supposed to scan EVERYTHING you buy. It looks to be quite a chore on the bigger shopping days, but with my little helper it should be more fun, i'm thinking?? okay, hoping! :-) When you are done, you place the scanner back into its little station and it automatically sends the information to the NCP and from the info they gather, they can tell what people are and aren't buying these days.

Now what is in it for us, you may ask? Well, we earn points for each time we submit our scans and we also earn points for completing online surveys. With those points we can earn free stuff. Now, mind you, you need a huge number of points to get anything good, but I figure, why not do it?! Its something fun for us to do and its completely free. My son says its like playing grocery store in our kitchen when we scan items. He loves it and who knows, maybe we can get a free TV or something. We shall see. I am going to post about it as we go along and fill you in on how it is going, good and bad.

If you are interested in trying it out with your family, check their website..NCP.

On another note....I was also contacted by Vocalpoint to possibly start blogging about products that I get to sample and coupons that I get from their site. If you haven't signed up, its a great site! It is completely free and you get some great deals! I receive lots in the mail from them as well as printable coupons, so it is totally worth it!

Monday, July 11, 2011

I know..I know...I keep making excuses for my long gaps of nonblogging....but other than just being super busy with work, kids, and life in general, I have no excuse! My only alone time these days is behind the closed bathroom door...and sometimes that isn't even sacred. There is usually a kid or two yelling through the door or banging on it, or hubby yelling asking what to do with the kids...you know the routine.

I have been hard at work tweaking an old idea that I started and didn't really follow through with, true to my nature which is something I am working on getting better at, and that is my Household Notebook. Some people think its something for us bored stay-at-home/work-at-home moms to do to keep us busy, but I havve to say, having everything in one place for the home is a beautiful thing. I am hoping to post about it more later when I get pics taken and maybe even a video. I got a webcam!! YAY! so I might just start doing some vlogging as well as blogging.....if I can find the time/energy to do it!

I have gotten so many wonderful ideas from fellow bloggers and vloggers about the household notebook and I will definitely share them along the way. Must give credit where credit is due!

The summer is going by fast. We took a trip to Yellowstone and stayed in Livingston, Montana for a week last month. What a wonderful time we had and we all SERIOUSLY needed a vacation. All of us have been running on hyperdrive and the downtime was something we all really, really needed. Montana is absolutely gorgeous. The mountains take your breath away and the people were so very friendly. We had a great time.

We only have a few weeks left and its back to school time, already! Here in Arizona the kids start back the first few days of August. My son is definitely ready to go back. I think he is getting bored at home and missing his friends. Being that I work at home is great in that the kids don't have to go to daycare, but it does suck for him when I have to work part of the day when he is home. He gets bored, poor kiddo. But I try to keep him busy with fun do-at-home science projects and a gamet of other things. I try :-)

My little girl is doing great! She turns 1 next week...yes, 1! I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. She is cruising along on furniture now and took 2 steps all by herself the other day. She is growing up so fast. And I am getting old LOL! Okay so I feel old some days :-)

So anyway, just wanted to pop on and post SOMETHING cuz something is better than nothing...right?

Friday, May 13, 2011

I realize its been forever.....again..... :-) So much has gone on in the last couple of months but I am not going to even attempt to catch the blog up because I would only be rambling on like a batty old woman recalling her life, so I will spare you that.

Few key things...My son has been playing his first season of baseball and is one of the best on his team! YAY! He made the All Star Team for the year and can't wait to play again next season. He is doing fabulous in school, top of his class, and we couldn't be more proud of our little man!

Isn't he SOOOO handsome!!

My daughter is soon to be 10 months, old....10...months! Yeah, time is flying by insanely fast! She just started crawling and is babbling up a storm. She is so chubby and such a little Gerber baby. You just want to pinch here cheeks all the time...oh wait, I do! :-)

CUTE! CUTE! CUTE!

So life in general has been really good and I couldn't be happier....well wait....I wouldn't mind winning the lotto, that might make me a bit happier :-) HA!

I am going to work on making my blog a bit more me....playing around with some settings and such. I hope in the process I don't lose my posts, but I need to learn more...lots and lots more!

I also want to start posting about my couponing and frugal finds. I have been couponing for years and had a coupon binder BEFORE it was cool (before Extreme Couponers came out). I want to start tracking my savings and finds on my blog so be looking for that.

I also want to start sharing some tips and tricks with fashion, hair, makeup, etc. I am learning lots of new things thanks to Google searches and YouTube and can't wait to share.

And one last thing...I want to start posting some of my frugal and delicious meal ideas I have found and sharing pantry organization, meal planning, and all of that good stuff.

In the next few weeks I am really hoping to start really concentrating on building a great blog and want to attract more followers (she says crossing her fingers). Here goes nothing!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

It has been a million years since I posted last. I know, I know...no excuses, just trying to get back up on the bloggy horse :-)

So much has gone on the last few months. Don't know where to start and don't want to make a mile long post filling in, but its been a good few months.

A few of the key cool things.....
* I turned 35 and don't feel a day over 25...YAY!
* I got my tattoo and hung out in Vegas for a weekend and had a blast with my hubs, my sister, and her hubs.
* My son turned 8 (sob, sob) and had a great little party with friends/family.
* My daughter started sitting up on her own and is developing such a little personality, i love it!
* I finally got a really cool cellphone, a smart phone, and its the coolest sha'nizzle ever! No more pay-as-you go crap phones....real world, I am part of you now, better late than never!
* Our vacation planning is in full swing to go to Yellowstone and see Montana in June. The house we are renting is reserved, and we couldn't be more excited!

So I guess that sums up the major highlights. Oh, and I didn't lose all the weight I wanted too :-( But, i feel better about myself these days than I ever have been. I would still like to lose some pounds, but I am not going to be so hard on myself and I will give myself the right amount of time needed to lose it.

That is all I have for today, just kind of a catch up post. Hopefully I will get back on track and post more regularly here :-)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I am still trying! I have lost about 5 pounds so far and its been a struggle. Like I said, I'm getting older so this really isn't as easy as it used to be...not that I ever remember it being super easy to lose weight, just easier I guess. I will fit into those size 8's! We have moved our Vegas trip by a few weeks, which actually works out wonderfully because it gives me that extra bit of time to keep on trucking! My sister and I are going to get matching tattoos on the top of our feet....its a celtic sister symbol.

I can't wait! I have one tattoo on my lower back of the Goddess Artemis incorporated with some other symbols, which I LOVE, and I can't wait to get this one too! Living in the desert, I wear flip-flops like half the year, so I will get to show this off lots and lots!

While we are there, we are also going to visit the shop where they film Pawn Stars for the History Channel, and of course have dinner and do some gambling. Its gonna be a great birthday getaway. My hubs and I share a birthday, he is exactly 1 year older than me...cool huh? So its very cool that we will get to celebrate Vegas style :-)

So this is my motivation...I want to look and feel fabulous in Vegas, being 35, and having the world by the........well you know the rest :-)

Welcome! I am a work-at-home wife and mom to 2 great kids, 8 year old son and 1 year old daughter. I am very ecclectic and love lots of things. Our home is our center so I like to keep things creative, fun, organized, and interesting. I love the term "Domestic Goddess" and that is what I strive to be. This blog is just about my life, my family, and my home...enjoy!