Monday, January 19, 2009

Steven Nyquist, AKA Dick Niggler, of Minneapolis, Minnesota, riding his bike to work last week. A real temp of -25F.His record as a young wrestler, in 224 matches: No ties, no losses. Undefeated.My guess: he could kick Raoul Duke's ass. Twice.

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One twentieth score and seven days ago, a founding father stepped forth on a bathroom scale and declared, "Bacon good, running stupid." Yesterday, however, as our nation witnessed the loss of his 44th pound, obese masses gazed among one another and confidently assured themselves, "Yes, we can."