The Art of Letting Go Series

Part 3- Negative Feelings that Repeat

To clear our negative repetitive feelings we not only need to be able to feel them but also any deeper connecting emotions as well. By ‘deeper emotions’ I mean feelings that we are currently not in touch with, a trapped energy in our body that can lead to mental, emotional and physical distortions. Often these deeper emotions are the true source of these repetitive negative feelings and it is not until these emotions are felt and cleared that the negative repetitive feelings can also be cleared. These repetitive negative feelings are like a red flag being waved to us, showing us that we need to go deeper.

Sometimes is it helpful to know what our negative repetitive feelings are about in order to feel these deeper underlying emotions. However we can misunderstand ourselves when we may think our emotions are about the situation or person when sometimes the actual truth can lie a little deeper.

“Begin to question”

A helpful approach to better understand ourselves and to clear these deeper underlying emotions is to start questioning the very nature of these negative feelings whenever we notice them.

For example, suppose we often feel uncomfortable after meeting our ex-partner, even though it has been years since we broke up. By noticing we are not at peace with our own emotions in relation to our ex-partner and that these feelings keeping reoccurring is a small but important step forward in our self-discovery process. Use this opportunity to reflect a little deeper into our feelings, starting with what is it I am not comfortable with? What feelings do I feel about my ex-partner that I am not comfortable with?

“Resist judging and blaming”

It is particularly important to let go of judging or blaming the situation or person, in order for us to access the truth within ourselves. In the state of openness, we can direct our awareness to our own negative feelings, which will begin to show us what are our deeper emotions. Through self questioning, for example, we may realise we have feelings of anger and disappointment towards our partner, and we are angry with our self for having these feelings, when we think we should be over him/her by now. (Notice how our thoughts can be in opposition to our feelings.)

Typically we know when we are angry at the other person but may miss the deeper emotion of anger at out self. By giving our self the opportunity to feel and clear the deeper emotion, which in this example is anger at our self, allows us to feel and clear the remaining repeating negative feelings. This then also removes the repetitive cycle of these negative feelings as there is no underlying ‘emotional fuel’ left to create these repeating negative feelings.

As you begin to question the broader aspect rather than your thoughts about the situation at hand, you will begin to see what it is you are truly feeling. If this seems difficult at first, do take heart, for with a little practise the answers and understandings will begin to naturally flow into your life. Just be willing to see it.