I do like the approach where you’re actually saying to the person that they are worth it. Totally reverses their mood from defensiveness (and dare I say it – preparing excuses) to forward looking and pondering potential.
Has worked wonders in the past, and also just a few weeks ago when a young reception / showroom hostess was pondering departing because she felt trapped in a dead end career.
After taking some time to show her a path forward in her career and discussing several tactics or ideas she could pursue she thanked me for spending some time with her. My reply was as per your blog “it was no trouble, you’re worth it and i can’t wait to see what you achieve”.
She has already taken good strides forward into a future career in marketing.

Thanks Rob. Your strategy of showing a path forward is powerful. This morning, when I jotted notes for the post, the idea of seeing a path forward was one idea that hit the cutting room floor. I’m glad you brought this important technique to light…along with affirming the ‘you’re worth it’ approach.

Dan,
I see a key point as not to provide false hope, telling someone they will grow and not deliver the promotion. So for the Leader position as I see it, “make sure you’re ready or can deliver on your challenges’, nothing worse than false hopes or challenges with empty promises.

Totally agree Tim. That then comes down the your balance of providing inspiring leadership vs personal integrity. I think the trick is to provide an inspiring glimpse of the future, some elements of the persons skills, behaviour, competence or passion that could make this possible and some guidance on the next few steps they could take …. if they want to.
I prefer to not promise a future, just provide a glimpse of a possible future, why they are a candidate, and then ensure they know it is really up to them if they head that way.

Thanks Young. Yes. Approach more experienced people with curiosity. Respect their experience, even if they see things differently. Practice transparency. Openly discuss where you hope to go, what you hope to achieve. Explore their goals and challenges. When you feel resistance, ask them for suggestions on how to deal with it. In other words, ask them to help you help them change.

Learn some forward-facing questions. Stay open. If you’re pressured from people who are above you to make change, let that be known.

Especially being a young manager, it would be great to hear from higher ups that I’m worth it, that what I’m doing is contributing to the betterment of the organization. This would provide more fuel to me to keep growing and show them that I matter and my work matters.

Hi Mitch. Great question. Thanks for bringing the idea of learning/growing through failure to the conversation. The first thing that comes to mind is to change something that’s close to your area of influence. Don’t try to change the whole thing. Change a small thing.

Perhaps begin meetings with, “What are we learning from failure?”

Alan Mulally, former CEO of Ford, comes to mind. He promoted a culture of candor. I wonder if there might be some lessons from his experience at Ford.