"May your soul be nourished and grow as it lifts to heaven in the vessel of a crow."

Part One: Losing
Faith

"Things couldn’t possibly get any weirder.”
That’s what I was thinking when it started.

I was driving down the remains of route CC in the southern tip
of Callaway county. Occasional physical amenities, periodic
reminders of the past, sparse scatterings of plant life.., my
faith. After the recent explosion of catastrophe that was pretty
much all that was left of anything. Remains. Earthquakes and
extremes in weather had left the blacktop and concrete deformed
and buckled. The old Dodge was rumbling and groaning as I
traversed the crumbling ruins of what was once the well kept
roadway of the neighboring nuclear power facility, which by some
miraculous feat had been spared. Given the recent series of
events, however, I just don’t quite understand how this
occurred.

The ensuing world war had left much of the earth in shambles.
Mankind had detonated a multitude of bombs against their brethren
and left the world as a place of perpetual twilight where the sun
never fully shined and the moon emitted a blood red glow. Famine
was a mainstay of a majority of the population and plagues of
insects, especially the locust , prevailed to ensure the
depravity of most humankind. Due to the lack of organic material
they consumed not only the remaining green things, but flesh as
well. They were giving the rats and roaches some stiff
competition. The only thing that out numbered the vermin were the
crows. Their numbers were multiplying at alarming rates and no
one was quite sure why. They seemed to be waiting for
something.

It was a time of great suffering and the waters of the world
ran red and had a metallic taste that smacked of the flavor of
blood. Those who drank of it fell ill, their life force
shriveling as they physically unraveled, yet maintained
existence, though a painful, excruciating presence it was. Given
the precedence of world events, I had decided I was not happy
with God. And every opportunity I had I gave him ample
notification. Given the slightest provocation I would explode
into a tirade of unprovoked explicative language that would make
the most distance of non-believers blush. I was lost. And I had
let go my last trace of faith. A none believer (I had branded
myself as such)

Finding comfort in old ways was the order of the day. In the
past I’d once found solace by venturing into the heart of
the Ozarks to photograph the existing wildlife. These days what
my soul was seeking was sparse, but I did not care. Release was
needed, something was missing ,and needed to be found.

The radio was crackling, sputtering intermittent coverage of
devastating natural catastrophes, news of disasters, man made and
natural. Fragmented reports of the great drought in the Mid
East.., allowing the Muslims to overtake Jerusalem. A new
monetary value. Washington DC plunged into total darkness. The
coming of a new ice age caused by an asteroid strike somewhere in
the southern hemisphere. The bad news paraded on and on.
I’d listened to enough. Rigid fingers clasped the knob and
quickly found the off direction.

I took a shot from the bottle of Old Crow nestled between my
legs, then took a long draw from the glowing home rolled joint of
“devils weed“. The ember fell to my lap. I thrashed
about wildly slapping my thighs to extinguish the glow, nearly
losing control of the wheel . As I left the confines of the
skeletal highway the old truck bucked me like a bull with course
rope drawn tight around its groin. The crown of my head struck
the cab of my ride with a sharp thud, and a warm cathartic ooze
accompanied by near loss of vision overcame me. I was inclined to
pull the metal beast over in quick order. Jagged slabs of pitch
black slammed the wheels, taking each out one-by-one, with a loud
“shot” and the smell of burning rubber. As I slowly
lost consciousness the image of the falling embers replayed in my
mind. They descended in slow motion , like Hollywood special
effects, only this time small human arms and faces waved
frantically from the red-orange fluorescence.., and I could have
swore I heard voices screaming. Blackness overcame me.

Part Two: The Calling

My head throbbed as I came to. The injury so great that the
sound of my heart beating in my cranium was prevalent, until it
subsided sufficiently for my ears to adjust to the sounds of my
desolate surroundings.

“End it” A strange voice echoed in my
confinements.

My eyes widened, darting around the temporary metal cage. It
was distinct. I was sure I heard it. The muscles in my hand
unclenched and my open palm came to rest on the ever present 22
magnum in the seat next to me.

“Yesss.., end it” I heard whispered once
again.

Then I saw my tormenter. A large cockroach clung to the inside
edge of my window just below the opening. Its red eyes piercing
the darkness like tiny lasers and its mouth spitting as it
spoke.

“Take the peaccccccce, you sssssseek.” The
serpent-like voice silently screamed once more.

“No!”.., I yelled as loud as I could.

“Not no, but hell no”. I said in a softer
voice.

And with that I cocked back my finger and flicked the roach on
the head, knocking his nasty insect butt clean out the window. It
burst into a puff of black smoke as it hit the ground . The smoke
took the shape of a serpent and slithered away, disappearing in
the shadows.

I violently slammed the suicide machine into the gray cushion
next to me. Pausing for a mere second as the action was met by a
reaction and numerous nondescript items flew through my space.
The cap from the Old Crow bottle struck me in the temple. I
became instantly aware.

I ignored the pain as I twisted my body to gain access to the
back seat. My features were unnatural and visibly contorted as I
strained for what I was reaching . The feeling was familiar. A
smooth cold shape. My helmet. It was necessary for what awaited
me outside the relative safety of my metal chariot. Large hail
stones and bodies otherwise unexplainable routinely fell from the
sky. I donned my helmet and retrieved my 22 which I stuffed in my
beltline.

After I managed myself from smoldering heap that was once my
transportation I faltered and fell back against the thin armor of
the shell of my false security. It gave with a resounding and
final “pop”.and I hit the dirt. Sheepishly, I scanned
my surroundings. My ears straining to listen for something
recognizable. Then it came. Through the crackling and popping of
hot things, the explosions of large objects crashing through the
bodies of the organics. Uneasy yet welcome. Striking deep into
the remnants of my soul.

“Caw caw caw” The crows were calling.

Part Three: Lured

I raised myself to one elbow, laboring for a clean breath,
straining to focus. Gradually it came. Slowly, like a selfish
child. An Image. The shape was obscured through the smoky ash as
it floated to the ground, creeping like a lighter than air black
snow. The shape of a young female about five years of age. Her
features were dark . Like a starved orphan begging for a morsel
she lifted her hand to reach toward me, then vanished. The barley
discernible features taking the form of a wisp of dark vapor and
morphing to the shape of a crow. The black passerine lit on a
nearby baron branch and froze. Time seemed to stop. There was no
sound. The only movement being blue, black, and purple
reflections of light dancing on the birds shimmering
feathers.

“Snap”

A piping coal shattered the silence reverberating like the
crack of a well used whip in a great valley, animating the
landscape with alarming irreverence. The crow broke off a small
twig from the limb of its perch and dove to the ground with such
a sense of urgency that it bowled over, its wings spreading to
catch itself, dropping the stick. Quickly it snapped up the small
piece of wood, hopped around in a circle as if looking for
something, and seeming satisfied with its view began scratching
in the dirt. No longer a crow with a stick, but a messenger with
an instrument of conveyance.

Upon completing the task at hand it lifted itself from the ash
and retired back to the spot from once it came, one wing
extended, flexing out then curling in, summoning me. The last
three and one half years had been strange. Each moment becoming
exponentially stranger. And so I went. Shuffling towards the
sullen girl turned beast. Ducking and wincing with each loud
noise or sudden movement until I arrived at the destination and
looked at my feet. I expected bird scratch, instead I found
words. Half obliterated by my dragging feet, but still
readable.

It said simply. “Follow”

Confusion was overwhelming me. Thinking for myself was
becoming difficult. I faltered, and in a semi-conscious state I
complied. Mumbling unintelligibly through buzzing lips a feeble
response was managed.

“OOooo..,k”

And as it jumped from limb to limb, I followed the dark figure
into the smoldering forest , the black silhouette guiding me
deeper and deeper, calling with a single “Caw” when I
paused., pulling me with an unseen hand. Resistance was tried.
Resistance was futile. Further I went. Further still. Somehow I
knew I could turn back, but I did not.

Part Four: An Encounter

The twisted game of follow the leader came to an end at a
small clearing near a mountainous outcrop of grotesquely shaped
rock that looked like a huge pile of interwoven bodies. They
seemed to move as I gazed at them through the hot thick air. .
From the top of the mound I heard the crow call, but instead of a
“caw” it issued forth , still in a cackling crow
voice, an unmistakable “come”, and again motioned
with its wing for me to approach. My skin prickled at the birds
now eerily human movements. I moved slowly, expecting the forms
below to writhe in pain as I hefted myself upon them. Much to my
relief my footing was hard and sure and felt as rock should. The
crow anxiously bobbed his head in approval as I made my way to
the apex. From my new vantage point I could see that square in
the middle was an opening, like a great gaping mouth waiting to
swallow me whole.

As I neared the glistening coal black bird it nervously
scratched at the ground loosening

several small stones. Reaching its location, and sitting with
my arms wrapped tightly around my drawn up knees, I watched
intently as the bird carefully moved the pebbles around with its
beak, selecting three roughly the same size, which it moved to
the side. Those beady dark brown eyes then looked straight into
mine, and the little black head nodded towards me, then the hole.
After gazing at me for a moment it then plucked up one of the
pebbles and flicked it into the shaft. The sequence was repeated
twice more. Then the crow jumped upon my knees, stretched its
neck towards me, and stared into my eyes. The tip of its beak
touching my nose. I knew what it wanted.

As I rose to my feet the crow floated to the ground and my
hands dove in my pockets searching for the small halogen
flashlight that I kept on my person . Artificial light was often
needed in this now dark world. As I rummaged through the
cluttered cloth repositories I could see the crows lighting in
the trees that lined the clearing. One-by-one they silently fell
from the sky, making not a sound.

“How odd” I thought.

To see so many silent crows gathered in one spot. Their
numbers becoming so great that the limbs of the trees were bowing
to the ground under the strain of their weight. Still more
drifted from the darkness, and as the trees filled to their
capacity they began taking spots on the forest floor.

“Ah!” I exclaimed.

Kind of surprising myself with the my automated response as my
hand emerged from my pocket with the flashlight. I clicked it on
to ensure it was working and it flickered so I slapped it good
and hard. The beam became solid. As I panned the shaft of light
around the clearing the birds bristled slightly. I thought
perhaps they were excited at the prospect of me descending into
the hole, but as I turned back to the opening I discovered that I
was not the cause of their state. It was those red glowing
cockroach eyes. But this time they were in the head of a pig. A
great stinking mud covered swine. The damned thing flashed a
swill eating pig smile at me and in the same serpent like voice
said.

“Theees crowsss mean to harm you my ffffriend. You
sssshould come withhh me. I will shhhow you where to fffind ssome
ssweet ripe Pawpawssss and we can dine on crow and sssugery
fruitsss.”

The crow let out a quick sound of disapproval and retreated a
safe distance away. My fuse was very short these days, and this
pig “thing” was starting to piss me off. He gave me
another sloppy pig smile with its eyes glowing brighter than ever
and then spoke to me again.

“Pledge yourssself to meee and I will give you what you
waaant. Will you commme?”

“Listen pig” I retorted.

“Aren’t you the same friggin thing who came to me
as a roach and tried to get me to off Myself? Aren’t you?!
How the hell! Do you think you know what I want! And just what
the in the friggin hell are you really anyway? “

The swine answered. “I am many thingssss and can take
whatever form I choosssse. I reign sssupreme in thisss world of
darknessss and can grant your wissshesss If only you give me your
allegianccce. Shhhall wwe dine?”

My lip curled, my teeth clenched , and my brow furled. The
disgust I felt for this, this, thing had filled me. I snatched
the magnum from my belt and leveled it at the pigs head
yelling.

“I think I’d prefer to feast on pork!”

As my finger began to squeeze the trigger the loathsome
creature let out a loud half hiss, half squealing laugh and
instantly exploded into the same thick black smoke as it had
earlier. My round buried itself in dirt. The smoke again took the
shape of a snake, slithering through the crowd of crows as they
parted in his wake, hissing and snapping at them a he faded into
the murky distance. The crows closed the gap like a silky black
wave.

Part Five: Into the Belly

I knelt at the mouth of the abyss. The air coming from the
interior was warm and putrid, like the smell of rancid meat and
rotting eggs. I had nearly talked myself out of descending into
the disgusting stench when the sound of a child crying emitted
from the depths. Without hesitation I lowered myself in. The
throat was about four feet across, just wide enough for me to
brace my back against one side and my feet against the other,
making it relatively easy to work my way down. As I did the
crying became louder. Tears came to my eyes as I thought of a
poor child trapped in this deep fowl smelling place. I hoped I
would find it well. The bottom was near now. I shined my light
and saw a cloth that looked like a tattered dress . Closer,
closer. I was there.

“Shhh. It’s ok little one, I am here now.” I
whispered.

As I pulled back the soft flower print material the crying
stopped. Giving way to one tiny satisfied sigh. Then silence. One
last tear fell from my face, and as it hit the floor of the cave
I swear it sounded as loud as a clap of thunder. For a while I
sat and stared in disbelief…, at the pile of powdery,
brittle white bones. I know not how long I gazed upon the remains
before I snapped out of it. Clutched in the tiny hand at the end
of a delicate chain was a small silver crucifix and around the
skull were bits of raven black hair. Not wanting to leave the
remnants in this lonely place I removed my outer shirt and
gathered them up for the ascent.

The sadness that I felt had turned to anger by the time I
reached the mouth. I pulled myself onto the rocks and gently sat
the macabre bundle on the ground. With my right hand I carefully
unfolded the shirt and prepared to confront the crows, but before
I could say one word the bones and hair disintegrated into an
ashy dust, took to the breeze and vanished into the night air.
All that remained was cross and chain.

I looked out to the ocean of birds and the crow that had lead
me here lifted from the murder and sailed towards me transforming
back into the dark sullen girl that it had first appeared to me
as. She came to rest very near me and lifted the cross from my
shirt placing it in my hand. As she leaned in close to my face I
could smell her, it was a sweet smell, and her eyes were dark and
brown. Like a crows. She whispered into my ear and all she said
was.

“You know what you must do. Give yourself to him.
Entrust him with your soul.”

“Ahhhh” I screamed.

And threw the cross high into the air. At that moment ,in a
wisp of vapor, she took back the form of a crow and plucked the
crucifix from the sky before it had even begun to come back down.
And she and thousands of others, with not a sound but the
fluttering of wings, swirled up into the blackness, leaving me
alone in the clearing.

Part Six: Harpazo

Nobody picked up hitchers these days so I hoofed it home
picking off a few rats for breakfast along the way. I walked
quickly to keep the locusts from devouring my bounty before I
arrived. Swinging the rats against a tree every so often to knock
them off. Soon I found myself at the homestead. It was quiet and
day was just beginning to break. I gingerly pushed open the door
and crept into the house to find my wife and two grand daughters
sleeping in the back bedroom . They looked peaceful in their
slumber. I quietly closed the door and went about preparing the
days meal. All the while deep in thought about what had earlier
transpired, about what it all might mean.

My trance was abruptly interrupted. A loud ringing had brought
me back to my immediate surroundings. Startled, I looked around ,
then I realized it was the telephone.

But, we had the service shut off years ago because we
couldn’t afford it, and the wires were not connected.
Thinking maybe it had been reconnected without my knowledge I
traced the wire from the handset to the wall. It was not plugged
in.. I jumped as it rang again, hesitating before I put it to my
ear. I didn’t say a word. Through the crackling I heard a
familiar voice. It was the pig.

“Weeee need to talk. Sssomething very important it
isssssss” It said.

Over the crackling of the phone and the hissing voice I could
here a tapping a the kitchen window, and the sound of crows.

The voice became insistent. “Do not go to the crowsss. I
have sssomething important to tell you. It’sss about your
grand child, Raven Majessssstic”

My attention again turned toward the kitchen window. The
tapping had become louder and the cawing of the crows more
intent. They sounded frantic. I sat the phone down and went
outside. There, face down in the frog pond was Raven. She was
often drawn to the edge of the pond in pursuit of frogs or fish,
it was interesting to her. I can only assume that she awoke and
snuck out the kitchen door while I was distracted by the
pestilent creature on the phone. Screaming her name I jumped into
the water and lifted her limp body into my arms. As I did I
noticed a frog with blood red eyes leap for cover.

“Raven!.,, come back to me baby” I said over and
over.

I buried my face in her body, shedding tears like a frightened
school boy. Her slight figure stirred. There was a gasp for air
then her head lifted. Her brilliant blue eyes opened.

“Papa” She said in a soft voice.

My response never came. The crows exploded into an uproarious
frenzy, and only then, as I scanned the landscape around me, did
I realize that not thousands, but millions of them covered the
countryside. They were jumping into the air with spread wings and
falling back to the earth, hopping through the trees and across
the ground, and cawing so loudly that nothing else could be
heard. Or so it seemed. The sound of screaming sirens was slowly
drowning out the raucous of the birds. They ebbed and waned ,
intensely wailing, with a noise sounding like that of great
trumpets. Each crescendo bringing

About an event.

The dark clouds began pulling apart and changing from gray to
silvery white. Sun light shown from the skies for the first time
in three and a half years. It seemed brighter than it ever had
before.

Shutters, windows and doors dropped from the casements of
vehicles and dwellings and went crashing to the ground.

All of the grasses , and trees, and bushes, and all other
manner of plant life put forth fruit and leaves , and blossoms,
full and vibrant.

People came out of their abodes to see what was taking place
and stood in opened mouth wonder and amazement at the awesome
spectacles unfolding before them.

The smoke and ash seemed to draw into the body of the planet
and the atmosphere became in an instant crisp and crystal.

Animals and insects of all kinds emerged from hiding and
wandered openly amongst each other with their heads held towards
the skies.

Even as I gazed in wide eyed disbelief at what was transpiring
I could feel my grand daughters body as it disappeared and then
reformed in my arms. I looked down and a crow fluttered from my
clutches. I turned to see my wife and other grand daughter, and
in a wisp they too transformed into crows. The other people
changed too, all but a handful, and myself.

Then, with the final resounding blast, the inky blackness
drained from the feathers of each bird and the blanket of crows
shown brightly like the finest of polished metals. They took to
the heavens on their new shining silver wings , glittering and
sparkling in the sun, rising higher and higher until they
disappeared in brilliant pinpoint flashes of light that flickered
out like millions of tiny stars. I watched as each was carried up
until only one was left. It lifted from the ground , but instead
of trailing the others it glided towards me, changing into an
angelic being as it approached.

The great wings wafted a sweet smell on their breeze and
before I could make out any features I knew it was her. The one
who had stood by me once before. She landed within my arms reach
and smiled as if we were old friends. Then placed and object in
my hands. As we touched I could see flashes of memories, a sad
little girl, a tragic event, a slow and lonely death. The bones I
had retrieved were hers. She withdrew her hand, stood there for a
moment and then said.

“He wants me to tell you something”

I didn’t ask who.

“What” I said.

She knelt to the ground picked up a small twig and scratched
something in the dirt, then spread her giant silver crow wings
and lifted up to the heavens. I watched until she too became a
twinkling star.

I opened my hand to find the cross and chain that had once
before been offered to me, then I looked down and saw the words
she had written. The two simple words, at that moment, held more
meaning than the sum of all I had ever read or had ever been
written.

They said “I AM”

Part Seven: The Beginning

And with that the clouds rushed back together becoming blacker
than black, the ground trembled and began splitting open issuing
forth unspeakably foul demonic creatures and puffs of sulfur
scented steam. Green things withered in the blink of an eye and
clouds of locusts filled the air. Blood red liquid and ash began
falling from the sky along with large hail stones and rocks that
burst in to flame and left smoking trails. I saw a monstrous wolf
with red eyes making a deal with one of the remaining neighbors,
soon after which the screaming man was dragged into the swirling
shadows by howling specters. A loud buzzing sound and unnatural
glow was coming from the direction of the power plant, it seemed
to be growing. I decided I had better head the other direction,
it seemed as though the next three and a half years were going
from bad to worse. I checked to see that I had what I needed.

I patted my waist and felt my gun, frisked myself and found my
bullets, knocked on my head and thumped my helmet, and opened my
hand and found my cross. I untangled it and hung it around my
neck, rubbing it between my fingers for just a second. I pulled
my liner up around my neck and forced a smile. My dry lips
cracked and a thin trail of blood dribbled down my chin. When I
wiped it I noticed that my skin was beginning to blister and
peel.

“Hmm’ I thought to myself. “I’m gonna
need a little help to get through this one. One last thing to do
before I’m on my way.”