It all started in the big feather bed on the upstairs screened in porch at my Uncle Bob's house. It was pretty, with lakes and trees and such, but I was a city boy and didn't know much about cows, which was what he had on his ranch.

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They were the ones who insisted that they needed privacy and banished us down to the finished basement with its old, smelly carpeting and busted up furniture. It was our parents who decided that cable was a huge ripoff and Netflix was a scam, leaving us to explore the depths and dangers of broadcast television.