The 5 Worst Foods You Run Across in Texas

I understand that you and I have different tastes. Some of these items may make you say "yum." Well, you're wrong.

I guess I should be glad that some of you like this stuff, that way if there ever is a food shortage you can eat this garbage while I eat the real food.

1

Okra

Whether fried or boiled, okra can die and go to hell. Fried okra has an unpleasant, scratchy kind of texture, and boiled okra tastes slimy. Okra is not for consumption. Okra should be used exclusively as a weapon or for throwing at cars.

2

Fried Gizzards

You know you're eating the parts that other people throw away right? You are eating parts of animals that some people use as bait when they go fishing. Do you even know what parts gizzards are? Nope? Well, let's just assume they are bad parts.

3

Chicharrón

Oh, my Hispanic friends, I dearly love you. I will give you Menudo. (I'm just going to say I don't understand it.) There is just no excuse for Chicharron, though.

It's fried pork belly or pork rinds, so whether you eat it in a tortilla or on a plate, you're basically eating a huge hunk of fat. It's nasty, nasty.

4

Calf Fries

I don't know why this is a thing. You're eating testicles. We have not run out of meat, so whey do you have to eat deep-fried balls? It's not funny, so just stop it. Damn.

5

Grits

Even the name "grits" sounds unappetizing. I guess it's ground hominy made into a terrible textured gooey mess of blandness. You can cover it with butter all you want, but it's still like eating buttery sand.