The strange and unedited thoughts of a sometimes bored woman living in Toronto

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

10 Things in 25 Years

As The Husband and I careen into the silver streak tomorrow, it got me to thinking as to what little pearls of life's philosophies I have managed to glean from this man with whom I have spent more than half of my time here on earth. It couldn't be remotely possible that 25 years have passed and all that was passed down to me was to keep the bedroom door closed during the day because the upstairs heats like a fricking microwave, and that this oversight on my part is the source of his insomnia. No. There surely has to be more than that. So, after some intense memory gymnastics and some deep soul searching, (if it is even possible to find my soul!) I present you all with 10 things I have learned from The Husband over 25 years of matrimonial bliss.

Never eat at a buffet. There can be nothing worse in this germ-infested world, then hoards of people pawing over, coughing into, sneezing on, or handling what will eventually wind up on your dinner plate. The promise of big portions and an array of choices is a fallacy perpetrated on an unsuspecting public who end up paying exorbitant prices for food that cannot be eaten and is of questionable quality. Not only that, one gets to stand in line to wait for the privilege of questionable food and are obliged to serve oneself. Which leads directly into number 2.....

I am too important to stand in line. Every person on this planet is given a finite amount of time to do it all. Have you ever stopped to consider how much of that time is wasted standing in line? Well, The Husband surely has and he refuses to do so whenever he can avoid it. If there is a lineup at the barbershop, the haircut waits for another time. If there is a lineup at the grocery store, the milk really wasn't all that important in the first place. Let the kids eat dry cereal. While he has most certainly taken this philosophy to extremes at times, there is value in his thinking. We do waste far too much time waiting around for others to get on with it. Our time on this earth is precious. Don't make me wait!

Teaching your children to drive is the only thing that we parents are charged with doing, that we can literally die attempting. The system is set up to get us. While we should all let professionals teach them the basic rules of the road, the only way our children can possibly get enough hours behind the wheel in order to pass a road test, is to sit in the driver's seat with a licensed driver (usually a parent!) beside them. To his great credit, The Husband acted as crash test dummy in our house for both boys, as I was far too fearful and far too quick-tempered. That said, he did discover after one particularly white-knuckled ride with Older Son that death was a real possibility in these ride-alongs, and railed against a system that put all of our lives at risk.

Pork makes you stupid and fish should only be seen swimming in water, not served on a dinner plate. Without even realizing that he was way ahead of the curve, The Husband was living the life of a partial vegetarian for a very long time. When people remark to me today that they cannot believe that he has given up a carnivorous lifestyle, I quietly answer that he was already half-way there. When the time came to fully veg our lives, he had already decided long ago that certain foods were not for him, so it wasn't the hardship that most believe.

If you want something done right, get the right person to do it. The Husband has never been able to figure out the science that is laundry. The one time he tried very early on in our relationship was not pretty. Suffice it to say that we both needed to purchase all new underwear. I do the laundry. I do it well and there is no argument about it, because we both want our clothes to survive the process. I am the right person for the job. This philosophy is equally applied for driveway clearing, grass mowing, eavestrough cleaning etc. If he deems that he is not the right person to carry out these tasks, he simply finds someone who is more competent. I would rather that this delegation of authority occur, than the snow pile up or the grass remain uncut because he can't or won't tackle the job.

Risk taking is a necessity in life if one wants to be truly successful. According to The Husband, the best decisions that he made in his life are the ones that came with the most risk. Since I am probably one of the riskier decisions he ever made, I would wholeheartedly have to concur.

Where one starts out is probably not where one will finish. The Husband is an electrical engineer by training and education. He never once practiced. He was on the cutting edge of computer software design and he got out just as things were starting to boom. He took a sabbatical at a young age because he wanted to volunteer his time and money for a worthwhile cause and today, he is deep in the trenches of starting a new venture that hopefully will see all of North America saturated in artisan vodka. Nobody could have predicted that path.

Passion is the key in life. If one is not passionate about job, family, recreation, or hobbies, then why do it? He has always told the boys that it didn't matter one whit what they decided to do with their lives as long as they were passionate about it. Yes, they are still searching. But there is a certain security in knowing that their father will always back them in their endeavours if he believes that they are doing what they love.

Chocolate is a food group and alcohol makes everything a bit brighter. Enough said!

The Husband is without a doubt in my mind, the smartest person I have ever met. He is without peer when it comes to problem solving because he doesn't just see and anticipate several moves ahead, but because he sees the next move and knows that it is the right one. He is an out of the box thinker that is truly visionary in a world of linear and reactionary individuals. He is calm and cool when everybody else is running around screaming "the sky is falling". He rarely does anything without thought, but when the decision is finally made, he is comfortable with it and supports it with the strength of his convictions. Ok, he can be a bit passive aggressive at times and I would prefer it if sometimes he would argue at the top of his lungs so that I didn't feel so lonely in our loud discussions, but it is this very composure that I find truly masculine. He doesn't need irrationality because his intellect makes that passe.

I am certain that The Husband might argue with a few a these points and I am even more certain that he will be embarrassed by the entire posting. That said, I couldn't possibly have allowed 25 years of marriage go by unremarked. I am simply too opinionated! I have been truly blessed during the past 25 years with The Husband, and while it is true that I do on occasion use him for a battering ram in this space, I know that I am able to do so because of his unqualified support, love and devotion to our family. Here's to the silver, Bernie!! Meet me here for the gold!

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About Me

I am mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin and friend. I am cook, chauffeur, maid, recycler and all round organizer. I am liberal feminist and feminist liberal. I am singer of Jewish music and dreamer of the stage. I am spiritual and cynical! I am word game fiend and baseball junkie! I am a woman of the new millennium!