I wouldn't mind taking my husbands last name. But I wouldn't mind doing the split last name either. My reason for this is that I love my last name and I'm proud to have it and my brothers, I can just tell you right now, will never get married to pass on my dads name. The reason that's important to me is because my dad died when we were all little and coming from a poorer family it's one of the few things we really have left from him. So somehow I'd want my last worked in if possible.

I wouldn't want a separate name from my husband though, as keiichi said, it can create confusion if ever I have children. The hyphenated name I'd settle for but i don't care for the way it'd look in all honesty.

I suppose right now I'm still undecided of how or what I'd want my last name to be.

But I do agree it's the woman's choice. It's not like you can really force her to take a name she doesn't want anyway. And if for some reason it's a deal breaker with the guy if she doesn't take his last name I find that understandable as well. If I were a guy I'd love for my wife to take my last name. So I can see it from either view.

Call me an asshole, but I would expect my wife to take my name. It's would be, to me, an insult towards me. It would as if she loved me enough to marry me, but not enough to take my name.

So you'd love her enough to marry her but not enough to take her name. You'd insult her by not even considering taking on her name or hyphenating it?

If it's just about tradition than fine, but it is completely hypocritical to claim it's necessary to show she really wants to be married/loves you. She wouldn't have said yes and gone through with the ceremony otherwise, as neither you would. You're not an arsehole, society is.

I think that the primary problem with the woman keeping her married name lies in creating confusion for the children in the marriage. It becomes something of a stumbling block when young children try to explain why their mother's last name isn't the same as theirs.

That could explain why my mother didn't change her last name after divorcing my father--would have been too confusing for me to explain at the time.

But I can also see the missus not having the same last name as their father as something that a child could struggle with explaining. Judgmental children can make this more difficult, as that would be easy pickings for being bullied.

The main reason its tradition for the maiden to change their last name to the husbands is because marriage is supposed to symbolise that they're one flesh, if you've got two different last names, then you're not one, you're two. And as husbands were the breadwinners so to speak in the olden days, the wife took the husbands name, as it was the man that took the woman to wife

When I get married, I shall be taking my husband's name. My main reason is because he will be my new family and I want to two of us to easily be established as husband and wife. I don't want kids so messing with their heads or having double barrel names is irrelevant in my case, I just feel it's right to take his name because I no longer belong to my old family as much. Also, I no longer personally want ties to them. =\

I have aunts on both sides of this particular fence, so I've heard the arguments from both. Personally, I feel like it's ultimately the woman's decision. If she wants to take my name, then hey, good times. If not, that's perfectly fine with me. I understand the whole pseudo-identity-change thing, and I also understand the doing-it-out-of-love stance. For example, my mom's reason that she gave for changing her name was that she didn't want to have a different last name from me.

Call me an asshole, but I would expect my wife to take my name. It's would be, to me, an insult towards me. It would as if she loved me enough to marry me, but not enough to take my name.

So you'd love her enough to marry her but not enough to take her name. You'd insult her by not even considering taking on her name or hyphenating it?

If it's just about tradition than fine, but it is completely hypocritical to claim it's necessary to show she really wants to be married/loves you. She wouldn't have said yes and gone through with the ceremony otherwise, as neither you would. You're not an arsehole, society is.

I found this comment incredibly close-minded, it's like you're deliberately ignoring the fact that it's still the 'normal' or 'traditional' thing to take the man's last name when you say this - in that light it's not completely unacceptable to be insulted slightly. If it were traditional for the man to take the woman's last name, then a woman with identical opinions might say it'd be an insult towards her if the man didn't take her name - and that wouldn't be hypocritical either.

There's something romantic about keeping to tradition imo, I wouldn't have much of a problem if my wife didn't want to take my surname, but I'd hope that she'd have a reason for it other than saying it's sexist to think she should (then again, I wouldn't be compatible with anyone who thinks like that). I want to carry on my father's name though, sure it's just a remnant of tradition but my father I'm sure cares about that, his father before him etc. etc. so I care about it too. But I don't mind if that means my children have hyphenated names, as I do agree that's 'fair'.

tradition for the sake of tradition is stupid. you need to figure out if you are doing something because you truly want to, or because it has been the norm. if roles were reversed, and it was the norm for a man to take on a womans name, im not going to do it because thats what people have done in the past. anyone who does it for that reason is a mindless sheep. though i dont care either way, so id leave it up to whoever i marry. if she wants me to change it, i wont care. its just a stupid name. however, if i was one of those who would prefer to keep my name, and i was expected by my own spouse to change it, then that would make my spouse petty and childish, and i would evaluate whether or not i would really want to spend my life living with her. i certainly wouldnt want a lifetime of similarly petty and childish arguments over other things.

My girlfriend more or less said she can't wait to have same last name as me. She hates her last name. Mostly because it's her dads and not her mums. She is not a fan of her dad.

If she wanted to keep her last name I would be cool with that. If I hated ny last name I would change mine to hers. As long as it was an improvement. I really prefer for us to have the same. It's would be great to see Mr & Mrs xx. Better then mr xx & mrs yy. Having said that, if she wanted to keep separate names I would be cool with that too.

I would expect my wife to take my name and collectively we ought to be called 'The Whelans' rather than 'The Whelan-****s'. We live in a paternal society. Husbands are not superior to the wives, they have different roles. Traditionally, this means wives do more 'maternal' jobs such as cooking, raising children etc.

That's another thing to think about, men don't change their title but women do. There is no 'Mrs' equivalent for men. I wonder whether it would be problematic to keep both my 'Miss' title and my own surname, if and when I get married?