Monday, July 23, 2012

Mayberry Mondays #50: “Aloha, Goober” (03/30/70, prod. no. 0225)

While I’ve been diligently noting the absence of Beatrice
“Aunt Bee” Taylor (Frances Bavier) from the past two installments of Mayberry
Mondays…for some odd reason I’ve neglected to mention that the son of Mayberry
R.F.D.’s protagonist,
poor-but-honest-dirt-farmer-turned-city-council-head Sam Jones (Ken Berry), has
also been MIA as well. Fondly known as
“Mike the Idiot Boy” (and played by child thespian Buddy Foster, brudder to
Oscar-winning actress Jodie), the reason why you’ve not heard me mention him
is…well, I don’t miss the little mook much, quite frankly. (I can’t even do the milk carton jokes any
more ever since Toby O’Brien pointed out that the milk in Mayberry comes in
bottles.)

But all you Mike fans out there can rejoice knowing that
he’s in this week’s episode, “Aloha, Goober,” which begins with the rare sight
of Sam and pedantic county clerk Howard Sprague (Jack Dodson) returning by
automobile to Mayberry. They don’t get
out of that town much so on their way back from wherever they’ve been (driving
along “The Mayberry Road,” one would assume) they see a series of signs along
the roadway.

Car Need a Drink?

Kids About to Drop?

Fill Them Up

With Gas and Pop

Whoops! One of my
slides is out of order…heh heh…

“I wonder who made up that rhyme for him,” jokes Howard…and
I kind of chuckled at this, because it’s a tacit admission on Howard’s part
that the village idiot of Mayberry, Goober Pyle (George Lindsey), is not very
bright. And for those of you who think
I’m being a bit cruel, I offer this as Exhibit A, another sign that both men
back up the car to read:

Still, the mystery behind this signage proves irresistible
for Howard and Sam not to check out (who wouldn’t want a free “baloon”?); the
latter commenting “Sounds so good I can’t pass it up.” And so they pull into Goober’s
Gas-Up-But-the-Condoms-Machine-is-Broken…

SAM: What’s going on?

HOWARD: We saw your signs out there
on the highway…

GOOBER: I…am goin’ to High-war-ya…

Goober is actually referring to “Hawaii,”
the fiftieth state. Just in case you
were curious.

SAM: Hawaii?

GOOBER: Yeah! Soon as I win the big sales contest…lemme
show ya…come on…

He has Sam and Howard follow him into his office, and on his
way in he startles fix-it savant Emmett Clark (Paul Hartman), who is in
mid-blowing up a balloon. Goober’s
opening of the office door bumps the chair Emmett is sitting in and the balloon
goes sailing off. I did laugh at this.

SAM (noticing Emmett): Well…another
happy kiddy…

EMMETT (stopping his balloon
blowing momentarily): I come in here for a bottle of pop and I get roped into this…

SAM: Yeah…no, I think all they’re
trying to say, Goob, is…just don’t get your hopes too high…that way if you make
it, fine, and if you don’t you won’t be so disappointed…

You really…really…suck
at this Andy Taylor thing, Sam. I liked
it better when you were tripping over things at FortCourage.

GOOBER: Look, when I set my mind on
somethin’ I can do it and I’ve got my mind set on this! Every
single ounce of it…

I am simply going to let that one pass without comment.

EMMETT: Goober…face the facts…I’ve
seen your deals like this before and usually they all fizzle out for some
reason or another…you know that, Goob…

SAM (disapprovingly): Emmett…

EMMETT: I just want him to keep his
feet on the ground…

“…and keep reaching for the stars…except…not really…” But Goober is not a man easily
discouraged. “Listen,” he warns his
“baloon”-blowing friend, “I’m gonna show you and everybody else in this town I
can win that trip to High-war-ya and I’ll thank you to save your hot air for
the balloons!”

And so the push to win the contest begins. There is a cut to a shot of Goober nailing up
an addition to his sign on the road that reads “Free Glassware”—something that
should really tell you nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. This dissolves into a sequence in which a
busy Goober is waiting on customers hand-and-foot at his gas station, handing
out baloons to the kids and glassware to the moms. The scene then shifts to the Mayberry city
council office, where the loveliest maiden of all the small town bakeries,
Millie Swanson (Arlene Golonka), is paying her dull boyfriend a visit, carrying
a small bag behind her back.

MILLIE: It’s an automobile compass…so
you won’t get lost while you’re driving…

Those Mayberry thoroughfares can be tricky to navigate
sometimes.

SAM: Oh…well, that’s just what I’ve
always wanted…

MILLIE: I bought it from
Goober…when I went in there for gas, he…well, he dusted my car…he vacuumed my
floor mats…gave me a glass and a balloon, and…well, I thought I had to buy something from him…

SAM (opening the packaging on the
compass): Oh?

MILLIE: Well, it was either that or
an inner tube…

Nothing says “I love you, darling…and here’s a token of my
esteem” better than a last-minute impulse purchase at a gas station. (“Jumper cables! How did you know?”) But Sam is nothing if not gracious: “Whenever
I don’t get lost, I’ll think of you,” he tells his lady love, blowing her a
kiss.

MILLIE: You know…he’s really
knocking his brains out, trying to make that Hawaiian thing…

…and that
shouldn’t take too long.

SAM: Yeah…well, I think it’s more
than just a trip to Hawaii, though…

MILLIE: It is?

SAM: Yeah, I think it’s just his ego—he wants to prove he’s just as good
a businessman as anybody else around here…

Well, let’s bring out the yardstick and compare. Sam, despite rarely setting foot on what is
presumed to be a farm, is considered successful in his field (though again, he
doesn’t work in one). Howard has a
government job, so he doesn’t count.
Emmett is the world’s worst fix-it man, and spends most of his time
warming the bus bench outside his shop or inside yakking with his friends. Millie’s about the only one who could apply
here.

At Goober’s
Gas-Up-And-Check-Out-Miss-October-On-The-Auto-Parts-Calendar, Mike the Idiot
Boy is helping out his idol by blowing up balloons…having had to be instructed
to blow out, not in, of course.

MIKE: How we doin’, Goob?

GOOBER: Well, I’ll know in a
second…I gotta minus my last figures from my new figures and then I’ll know…

MIKE: Oh…

GOOBER: Then I gotta percent it…

MIKE: Boy, Goob—you’re a good
businessman!

GOOBER: Hey…you’re real sharp,
Mike…

MIKE: Thanks…

Just don’t ask the little cretin to do fractions. When the mutual admiration society meeting
comes to a close, Goober’s calculations reveal that bidness is up only 120%:

GOOBER (clicking his tongue): I
thought I’d done better than that…

MIKE: What are you gonna do?

GOOBER: What am I gonna do? (As the camera goes in for a close-up) I
still got some aces up my sleeve…

Dun-dun-DUN! Goober
Pyle—super villain. Here’s how he brings
Mayberry to its knees:

Some of you out there in TDOYLand
will helpfully point out that in the time it took him to nail up that sign he
could have sold a few more compasses and gallons of gas. Keeping the station open round-the-clock is
probably not a good idea because Goober, suffering from sleep deprivation, is liable
to become disoriented and distracted and his mental faculties will…well, forget
I mentioned that. It’s 2am in Mayberry, and as Goober slumbers peacefully on a
cot inside the station, a horn honks for service outside.

It’s Sam and Howard, who explain that they’ve just come back
from MountPilot
when they saw his lights on. One would
presuppose that the two of them went out on some sort of date—dancing, the
movies, what have you—but if women were involved I’d expect them to also be in
the car; it doesn’t make sense, for example, for them to drop Millie off
(assuming that’s who Sam took to dancing, the movies, what have you) and then
double back to Goober’s Gas-Up-And-No-Running-Near-The-Repair-Bay. So the only inference I can glean from this
is that Sam and Howard are seeing each other on the sly. Not that there’s anything wrong with that—I
just hope the two of them are very happy.

HOWARD: You’re going to kill yourself with this twenty-four-hour
thing!

Sam offers to drive Goober home, but the stubborn bidnessman
is adamant: “If you guys don’t wanna buy nothin’,” he yawns, “I’m goin’ back to
sleep.”

There’s an unspecified passage of time, and we then find
Goober back in his office, writing figures down on a pad while Mike dutifully
takes glassware out of boxes…and puts it in more boxes. (He’s just trying to look busy.) The day of reckoning has arrived…

GOOBER: Two hunnerd and twelve
percent!

MIKE: You made it!

GOOBER: Wait until I tell those
guys!

I wish I had a decent screen capture of what happens next:
Goober cockily saunters down Main Street Mayberry in a walk I’ve nicknamed the “Goober Strut.” He tips his Jughead hat to a woman passing
by, and then arrives at the council office:

SAM: Well, we have to pave at least one street down there…

GOOBER: Hey, fellas!

HOWARD: Aw…hey, Goob…

SAM: We’ll just take it one step at
a time, Emmett…that’s all…

HOWARD: Yeah, I agree…I mean, if we
wait until we have enough money to pave all of those streets it’ll be years before we ever get started…

I hate to interrupt this…but I’m still perplexed as to how the
government works in that town. Is there
just one official councilman in Sam, and he’s stacked the rest of the remaining
positions with his cronies, or what?

EMMETT: What you doin’ away from
the gas station? I thought you were
supposed to be workin’ so hard…?

GOOBER (smug tone): Well, it just
so happens, Mr. Emmett Clark, that my business is up two hunnerd and twelve percent!
I’m practically on my way to High-war-ya!!

(The other three enthusiastically
congratulate Goober and vigorously shake his hand)

HOWARD: You deserve all the credit
in the world, Goob!

GOOBER: Yeah. I know…

EMMETT (shaking his hand):
Congratulations, Goob…I admit I thought you’d blow it one way or another but I
gotta admit—you’re a real businessman!

GOOBER (laughing with the others):
It’s just a matter of usin’ the old brain!

Because his new one doesn’t work so well. Millie then runs excitedly runs into the
office, having been told of Goober’s good fortune by Mike the Idiot Boy, and
joins in the congratulatory spirit.
Goober in turn thanks her for buying the compass.

MILLIE: Hey, I’ve got a fantastic idea…

SAM: What?

MILLIE: You know what we’re going
to do? We’re going to give you a going
away party!

Woo hoo! Kegger at
Millie’s!

GOOBER: Hey, wait a minute…wait a
minute! You don’t have to do that!

HOWARD: Oh, listen…you got it
coming to you, Goob!

EMMETT: Yeah—you deserve it!

GOOBER: Well, okay…I know I’ll enjoy it…thanks, everybody!

MILLIE: Oh, you know what we’ll
do? We’ll make it a real Hawaiian party…

Woo hoo! Millie in a
grass skirt! Despite having reached his
sales goal, Goober is apparently still in a state of moving flux between his
cot at the station and his regular room at the boarding house because we find
him preparing for the evening’s festivities at the station, where he’s about to
lock up for the evening. As he exits out
the front door, a driver answering to “Charlie” pulls up in an Acme Oil Company
van, eliciting a hearty welcome from the Goob.

Charlie is played by veteran character thespian Judson
Pratt, who’s visited this show previously in a first season episode entitled
“The Race Horse” (he played Brice, the racing commissioner). His movie and TV credits are quite
voluminous; he turns up in a lot of Disney movies (including The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes and The Barefoot Executive) and his feature
films include The Toy Tiger, Man Afraid, Monster on the Campus, The
Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond and Kid
Galahad.

CHARLIE: Sorry I’m so late…

GOOBER: Well, that’s all right…I
don’t need no supplies anyway…

CHARLIE: Oh? It looks like you could use some batteries,
right there…

GOOBER: I don’t want ‘em settin’
around…while I’m in High-war-ya…

CHARLIE: Hawaii?

GOOBER: Yeah, the oil company—I won
one of them trips they’re givin’…my business was up two hunnerd and twelve per
cent for the month…

GOOBER: What are you talkin’
about? The contest started the first of
this month!

CHARLIE: No, Goober—it starts the
first of next month…didn’t you read
the rules?

Goober unlocks the door to the station and rushes inside,
returning seconds later with the paperwork he showed to Sam and Howard
earlier. He looks positively
crestfallen, which is our cue to start the sad trombone…and also an opportunity
for a General Foods break.

Back from commercial, Goober is bemoaning his stupidity into
the sympathetic ear of driver Charlie.

GOOBER: I just figured the contest
started when they sent me this thing…

GOOBER: You know, I really wanted
to pull this thing off, too…just to show everybody!

Hey! Hey! We’ll have none of that, now…

CHARLIE: You did show ‘em, Goob—you did a great
sales job! Up two hundred and twelve
percent! That’s really something!

GOOBER: Yeah…well, nobody’s gonna
remember that part of it…they’re just gonna remember that I blew it…again!

CHARLIE (after a pause): You still
going to go to the party?

GOOBER: Well…I might as well get it
over with…so they can start laughin’…

Oh, chin up, little cowboy…this is Mayberry R.F.D. after
all—where laughs are few and far between.
Both Goober and Charlie sadly walk out of Goober’s office (you just know
Charlie couldn’t wait until he was down the road at his next stop: “Guess what
that idiot in Mayberry did?”) and the scene shifts to Millie’s where a crowd of
mostly unknown extras mills around with the show’s regulars. (Imagine how freaked out you would be if
someone threw you a party and you only recognized one or two of your close friends…) Howard is stirring a purple concoction that
makes me curious how much grain alcohol has been mixed into it.

EMMETT: Hey…where’s Goob?

HOWARD: Oh, he’s probably waiting
to make a grand entrance…

SAM (laughing): Yeah, I don’t blame
him!

Mike the Idiot Boy has been assigned the sentry post, and he
sings out “Here he comes!” as Goober comes through the front door. There is much applause and cheering, with
Millie giving Goober a lei (the only time he’ll ever get…okay, I’ll stop) and
Sam using his nose to hum a High-war-yan music melody.

MIKE: Will you bring me home
something from Hawaii?!!

SAM: Oh, Mike…that’s not polite…let
the man have some punch, and then you can hit him up…

GOOBER (trying to fake his
enthusiasm): Look, everybody…I…

EMMETT: Oh, come on, Goober…have
some punch!

MILLIE: Genuine Hawaiian Mayberry
canned pineapple grape punch!

“With just a whisper of paint thinner!” Goober is desperately trying to think of a
way to break the bad news to his friends.

GOOBER; Well, no thanks…I ain’t too
thirsty…I…

SAM: Come on, Goob! We’re all three up on ya!

“And I’m starting to see vapor trails as people walk by…”

GOOBER: Well…look,
everybody…there’s somethin’ I wanna tell you about the contest…you see…

EMMETT: Yeah, yeah…we know—two
hundred and twelve percent!

MILLIE (giggling): Come on,
everybody—let’s give him his gifts!

For mistakenly thinking the sales contest was this month and
not the next, Goober’s friends bestow upon him a brand new suitcase (“a two
suiter,” Sam tells him) complete with combination lock and everything. There are other fabulous prizes as well…but
just as Goober is prepared to tell everybody what a doofus he is, Emmett wants
to say a few words.

EMMETT: Ladies and gentlemen…all
jokin’ aside…I wanna say flat out right in front of everybody that…Goober deserves this trip…I really gave him a
bad time…but while I was shootin’ off my mouth about how he was gonna blow
it…he was out there makin’ me eat my
words! Goob, I apologize…

Emmett extends his hand for a shake as the other guests clap
and cheer.

SAM: Okay, Goob…what did you want
to say?

GOOBER: Well, uh…uh…er…I’m not much
at makin’ speeches, and…on with the party!

Goober can’t bring himself to admit to his friends that he’s
a screw-up, so in a scene that follows in his office at the gas station, he
asks Mayberry’s own “Sara” to place a call to “Pine Lake”—“And don’t stay on
the line…this is personal,” he warns her, seeming to suggest that the telephone
operator in that town is a bit of a old snoopy drawers. The phone is answered on the other end by a
woman whose exaggerated Southern accent suggests that she is not actually from
the South, but merely a depiction of what Hollywood TV sitcom writers think
Southerners sound like. (You’ll
understand why this is the case in a second.)

This woman is played by actress Louise Glenn, who had roles
in TV’s The Roaring 20’s and the short-lived sitcom Don’t
Call Me Charlie, and uncredited parts in films like Funny Face, Onionhead, Visit to a Small
Planet and A Big Hand for the Little
Lady. Her voice may be more familiar
than her face—she played “Billie Sue Culpepper,” the unseen daughter (on the
telephone) of Spencer Tracy’s character in It’s
a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (with her mother voiced by the immortal Selma
Diamond). Since her character is
referred to only as “Girl” in the closing credits, I have decided to dub her
“Billie Sue” after her famous World character
because it’s my blog.

Glenn’s Billie Sue runs the “Pioneer
Auto Court,” apparently a nearby resort where
Goober—as “John Smith”—makes a reservation for the next ten days “startin’
Friday.” The Goob’s evil plan is
apparently to disappear for that length of time while making everybody in
Mayberry think he’s soaking up rays in High-war-ya. We join this mad genius as he talks to Emmett
in the familiar environs of his shop, where Emmett is breaking a major
appliance.

GOOBER: Boy, I’m gonna jam
everything in them ten days…sightseein’…swimmin’…I might even take some hula
lessons…I hear they get the tourists up to dance at them High-war-yan lulus…

EMMETT (correcting him): Luaus…

GOOBER: That’s right! I’m really gonna have a ball…

EMMETT: Yeah, sounds great…I can
hardly wait to get your postcards!

GOOBER (realizing he hasn’t quite
thought this all the way through): Postcards?

Well, here’s a Whistler episode gone horribly
awry. And if that wasn’t complicated
enough, we take you now to outside Boysinger’s bakery…

MILLIE: Goober…you’ve got to
promise to bring me back one of those Hawaiian dresses…muumuus, I think they’re
called…

What the…front yard?
Why would anyone stick Millie
in a muumuu?

MILLIE: Size eight…

GOOBER: Well, I don’t know if I’m
gonna have too much time for shoppin’…I’m gonna be sloshin’ around in the water
and all that…

MILLIE: Well, I understand… (She
has to rush off, since she’s spotted a couple going into the bakery) If you
have the time…

GOOBER: Yeah…right…size eighty!

MILLIE: Eight!

The day arrives when Goober is “off to High-war-ya.” He stands with his friends at the bus stop,
waiting for the arrival of the bus that will take him to the airport.

SAM: Goob, why don’t you let us
drive you to the airport?

GOOBER: Well…I-I-I think I’d rather
take the bus…

EMMETT: But it’ll be easier by car…

SAM: Sure!

GOOBER: Well…thanks anyway, fellas,
but…I always get sad when I have to say goodbye to people at airports…you know,
standin’ around and tryin’ to think of somethin’ to say…gettin’ a lump in your
throat…

HOWARD: Well, you’re only gonna be
gone ten days…

GOOBER (nervously): I’d rather take
the bus…

Smooth, Goob…they don’t suspect a thing.

SAM: Well…if you’d rather…

MILLIE: Maybe we’ll phone you in Hawaii and see how things are…

GOOBER (looking panic stricken): Phone me?

SAM: Yeah—what’s the name of the
hotel?

GOOBER: Uh…er…

“Homina homina homina…”

GOOBER: It’s one of them
High-war-yan names…I…I don’t remember!

HOWARD: Well, we can always phone
the oil company and find out…

GOOBER: Oh…hey…why don’t I phone you guys? How would that be?

EMMETT: Aw, that’s great—don’t
forget!

If Goober’s got a dead person hiding in his luggage, he’s
boned. Fortunately, he’s spared any
further agony by the arrival of the bus, and as he climbs aboard the ‘hound his
friends are replete with well-wishes.
“Watch those hula girls,” Sam calls out in one of his signature weak
jokes.

“What a lucky guy…sunny Hawaii,”
muses Emmett. Wait for it…

Yes, there’s a deluge underway in beautiful downtown PineLake as Goober braves the extreme
damp to enter the main office of the Pioneer Auto
Court.

GOOBER: You can put that call
through now…

BILLIE SUE (picking up the
receiver): I want Mayberry…foah…two…seven…

GOOBER: And remember what I told
ya…try to sound High-war-yan!

BILLIE SUE: Yes, suh!

As Billie Sue continues with her faux Southern drawl, Goober
puts a long-playing record on a nearby phonograph, and a “High-war-yan” tune
starts to play. The phone rings in the
council office in Mayberry.

SAM: Yes, I am… (Talking to Howard,
who’s also in the office) It’s Goob…go get Emmett, will ya?

Howard dashes off to find Emmett, and as Sam waits for the
two of them to return he gets a puzzled look on his face. “Y’all?” he asks himself. Do you see what R.F.D. writers Dick
Bensfield and Perry Grant have done here?
It’s funny because a real Southern-sounding gal is purportedly calling
from Hawaii. The veteran television scribes who
prolifically wrote so many episodes of The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet
would later to go on to create Hello, Larry…so enough said on that
score.

SAM: Goob?

GOOBER (on the other end):
Sam? Can you hear me? Aloha!
That means “hello” over here…

SAM: Hey, Goob! How ya doin’?

GOOBER: Great! I’m just settin’ here on my hotel balcony,
overlookin’ the blue Pacific…hah…listenin’ to the High-war-yan music while the
hula girls are dancin’…

SAM: Oh, that sounds great! You lucky guy… (Emmett and Howard burst into
the office) Oh, wait a minute—here’s Emmett and Howard…hang on…

(There is a peal of thunder outside
the auto court window, which can clearly be heard on Sam, Howard and Emmett’s
end)

SAM: What was that?

GOOBER: Uh…that was one of them volcanoes…uh…you get used to the rumblin’, though…

Goober realizes he’d better not risk straining any more
credulity and so he tells his friends he has to hang up because the call is
costing him money. Telling Sam, Emmett
and Howard that “aloha” also means goodbye, that’s native islander Billie Sue’s
cue to declare into the receiver: “Yo’ three minutes is up.” As the call is completed in Mayberry, Sam
editorializes: “Sounds like he’s been hitting that cocoanut juice…”

HOWARD: Didn’t he say something
about soaking up the sunshine?

SAM: Yeah…something’s wrong here…

HOWARD: You know, as near as I can
figure, it’s got to be three o’clock in the morning in Hawaii…

SAM (realization kicking in):
Hey…that’s right…wha… (He picks up the receiver) Sara? Sara?
Uh, Sam Jones again…listen, I just had that call—do you know where it
came from? (After a pause) PineLake exchange…?

EMMETT: PineLake?

SAM (to Emmett): You don’t think
that…

Sam then has Sara put him through to the Acme Oil Company,
where his inquiry as to the winners of the sales contest is met with “That
starts this month, dumbass.” (Okay, you
only really hear Sam’s side of the conversation…but that’s what I would have
told him if I’d been working there.)

SAM (putting down the receiver):
Goober didn’t win…that contest didn’t
even start till three days ago…

EMMETT: You’re kiddin’!

SAM: No…no, that’s what she said…

EMMETT: He blew it! He blew it after all!

SAM: You know what that guy’s
doing? He’s pretending he’s in Hawaii!

HOWARD: He’s sitting up there at PineLakehiding out for
ten days!

Well done, Masters of Duh!
And the $64 question comes from a Mr. Emmett Clark of Mayberry,
NC: “What do we say when he comes back?”

Coda time!

The High-war-yan Express rolls into Mayberry, as Sam,
Emmett, Howard, Millie and Mike the Idiot Boy are there to receive His Goobness
with a triumphant “welcome home.”

GOOBER: High-war-ya’s really a
great place! Fiftieth state of the
union…capital is Honolulu…state flower is the hibiscus…state tree is the kukui…that’s
candlenut tree…their motto is “The Life of the Land is Perpetuated in
Righteousness”…

HOWARD: Unquote…heh heh…

Every episode…though having the laugh-out-loud moment in the
coda is cutting it a little
close. For one brief moment, it looks
like Emmett is going to blow the lid off of Goober’s apparent memorization of
Wikipedia:

SAM: I tell ya, Goob…this town is
still talking about that sales campaign you put on…

GOOBER: They are?

EMMETT: Yep! Mayberry ain’t never seen nothin’ like
it! There’s talk of puttin’ you on the
Chamber of Commerce next year!

GOOBER: Hey! No foolin’?!!

HOWARD: Yeah…yeah…

GOOBER (laughing like an idiot):
Wow…

MIKE: You’re not very sunburned, Goober…

Every once in a while, Mike does something to redeem himself
on this show. His father alibis for
Goober, explaining that it’s due to “too much of that night life,” prompting
Howard to offer to help Goober take his suitcase to the car so that he can get
home and get a little rest after making shit up.

“Well,” smiles Emmett at Sam, “we did the right thing,
huh?” As the group makes their way to
the car, Goober starts regaling them with make-believe tales of his faux High-war-yan holiday…so Emmett cuts the sweetness with a skosh of lemon: “It ain’t gonna be
easy listening to that baloney for
the rest of our lives.”

At Goober’s “bon voyage” party, several of the guests
present are those nondescript people who are never, ever seen again on the
show—which makes you wonder what Aunt Bee did to be snubbed and not get an
invite. (Maybe they remember what
happened the last time that old dame drank her fill of Millie’s “jungle juice”
punch.) So Thrilling Days of Yesteryear’s patented Bee-o-Meter™ stays put for
yet another week: ten appearances in the second season of the series, and a
grand total of twenty-two show-ups overall.
(Two more episodes left until we start Season 3, Aunt Bee…you better get
a move on.) In the meantime, I’ll be
preparing next week’s installment of Mayberry Mondays: “Millie, the
Secretary.” Please make it a point to
join us.