Obviously, I didn’t see the first two “Twilight” films, but the revelation that Edward drives a Volvo, well, that made me cringe first, then laugh and point. The renovation of the vampire from a ghoulish creature of the night to some kind of sultry, sexed-up night stalker suggests motorcycles and sports cars.

There’s even a “What drives Edward” contest. I don’t know what drives him, but he drives his mom’s car. Dead eyes, pasty skin, car seat in the back. Very sexy.

So what does Jacob drive? I’m very curious about this. See, I have dogs, and no matter how hard I try, no matter what I try (blankets, lint roll, duct tape, wet sponge), I can’t keep the fur from getting stuck to the carpet and seats. He must have some tips.

The Internet tells me he drives a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit. All right, nevermind.

Anyone else notice Kristen Stewart is wearing light colors and smiling now that the end of this series is in sight? Maybe she was contractually obligated to be a walking bummer.

‘The Last Airbender’

The other major release this week is “The Last Airbender.” Choose your own explanation for what an air bender actually does and why there’s only one left. I’m thinking it has something to do with the economy.

Incidentally, this is based on a cartoon called “Avatar: The Last Airbender.”

No surprise the filmmakers ditched the first part.

The cartoon was Asian-inspired with an elemental backdrop. Guess who the bad guys were. Yup, the Fire Nation. They wanted to destroy and/or rule the world. Yawn. The cartoon spawned a few video games, a card game, action figures and, more recently, cries of racism.

As for the racism, maybe. The cartoon characters are meant to appear Asian. The movie characters are ... is the right word “ethnic”? I don’t know. Fire Lord Ozai, for example, is played by Cliff Curtis (Rabbit on “Trauma”), and he’s from New Zealand. The child hero (see every column I’ve written for my opinions about those) Aang, is played by Noah Ringer. Asian or not, what’s with the arrow thing on his head?

Maybe it’s pointing in the direction our IQs go when we worry about this sort of thing with regard to a movie — again, based on a cartoon, of all things — about people who fling snowballs and clods of dirt at each other.

John Meo writes for the Norwich Bulletin in Norwich, Conn.

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