So I joined a game of AD&D2E, using roll20. Not because I had a craving for the game (my knowledge of the system being limited, at the time, to Baldur's Gate 2), but because I was asked, and the guy who asked me generally runs fun games. He played as Rashida the mummy in AceGame: Helene and Ayeya are Getting Married!, and more importantly, while he favours AD&D due to it being the one he started with, he's not wed to it like certain "We prefer 2Ed here" people (see: PhoneLobster's threads).

I was told from the start that it wouldn't be too serious, but I had an inkling that was the case anyway. Of the other party members we have a Ranger (or a Rogue, or some combination of the two?) who really loves traps, a Druid who is one PETA commercial away from becoming an eco-terrorist, and I honestly can't remember the third because I was rather tired, but I'm pretty sure "a fightery type". Possibly a Cleric, actually.

Anyway, I decided to go with a Wizard. Except, because the game started at 2500 XP (modified for high prime attributes!) with a generous attribute generation method (everything starts at 0, have 75 points to raise them one-for-one), maximum HP (at least at the start) and access to the Player's Option stuff where you get points to customise classes and all... anyway I went Fighter 2 dual-classed into Wizard 1. Strength 18/00 (using the "spend points to raise Strength percentile" option, not the standard method of "I totally rolled that at home"), and when I hit third level and my Fighter stuff comes back online, that'll include +2 AC when unarmoured (ie always), and Lucerne-Hammer Specialisation. Because I foresee a fair amount of dungeoncrawling such that I can't just declare we're all taking a nap every five minutes.

People wondered why I would utilise "the worst thing in 2Ed, the horrible punishing dual-classing". Later on I suffered 11 damage and was still sitting on 9 as opposed to "dead". And sure, only having 2 spells per day is rough (yes 2, he also decided Wizards get bonus spells/day for a high Int the way Priests do for a high Wisdom), but I can throw darts and still add Strength, so all is good.

My Long-Winded Character Backstory (because we're all making them in-character)

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To be used when she is an old, veteran wizard, a stuffy old mage like Elminster. When you're that old you need to write a book.

First Chronicle of Claudia BigbyA Humble Beginning
As a proud descendent of the infamous Bigby bloodline (inventors of such spells as Bigby's Crushing Hand) , I always knew I would one day be a great mage - it is just the done thing for my family. It would be remarkable if I were not a great mage at some point. Not only that, but it would be my legacy to one day create a new Bigby's Hand spell. I was a realist, of course, I know arcane forces are powerful, complex things, and no wizard writes their own spell while in their infancy. No, even then I knew it would take years of adventuring, and sitting down to perform research afterwards - it would probably be when I was in my sixties, but nonetheless, you can't escape destiny. As such, I was enrolled into the Wee Jas Academy for Gifted Mages right from the start.

Before then, it must be said our household was a relatively poor one. We couldn't afford to keep all seven serving staff on hand at all hours, putting them on a rotating schedule, and frequently I would look out the window of our horse-drawn carriage at others riding donkeys and wonder why we had no donkeys for riding. I wasn't even allowed to put on dirty rags and go play that food-foraging game with other children, it was imperative that I remain indoors and work on my important life skills. Still, as much as I longed for those peculiar activities that seemed to be a luxury only for others who had such time to spare, I understood the importance of my duties.

At age fifteen, I was amazed at the majestic sight of the Wee Jas Academy - it was huge! I knew it would be larger than my house - ours was probably one of the smallest in the district, a mere three floor affair - but I wasn't expecting an actual stronghold. Towers pushed through the clouds, the walls were massive and lined with skulls (although I later discovered these skulls had been created wholecloth without the need for killing and skinning creatures), the statues so large that even the statue of a gnomish wizard was thrice my own height. I knew I was lucky that my family name carried such importance as to guarantee my admission, because it was obvious how exclusive it would be. Yet there I was, accepted without a second thought, and assigned to the West Tower, a section reserved specifically for newcomers, as "all must prove their worth". I would have accepted no different.

Unfortunately, it turned out that I was actually a terrible wizard, despite bloodline, upbringing, intelligence and destiny. What I did excel at was the array of elective physical classes such as weaponry, athletics, mountaineering and charioteering. Rarely a day went by without me engaging in such exercises, completely outperforming even older students (except when they reminded me of the value of magic, and proceeded to paralyze me, Haste themselves and such - that was rather the point, after all). Within just a few months, I was well-toned and tanned, rippling with muscles, and stronger than nearly any other student, even older students, even boys… even staff. But of course, all the time I spent engaging in the physical arts of lifting heavy things and punching hard things, I was neglecting my actual studies. Meditation never lingered on magic, but turned to daydream, and I rarely bothered to read the tomes and scrolls left by stuffy old wizards (the very kind I imagine I will be when this book is published!). I did write a lot, however, but then, rarely was it my assigned homework. Typically, my penmanship would be less to do with essays on magical theory, but more to do with poetry, or my own journal which is forming a basis for this book, or fanciful tales of legendary characters and the events of their lives. Indeed, this continued into a tendency not to study in classes, and for the first year I was unable to cast even the simplest of spells!

It was obvious that my problem was that of applying myself - after all, not everyone has the spark, but those that do have the spark still need to fuel it themselves. I had never relied on hand-outs or help before, making my own way, and there was no issue there of "not being good enough" or "lacking magical ability". No, it was laziness that saw me suffer, and that very same laziness is probably why we see so few adventurers today. All those pleading for help should try helping themselves, as I did there at the academy! Pick up your own sword and do something!

Having become an excellent warrior there, I would have served well as a servant, "meat shield" or pack mule. I could very easily have been assigned those duties to another, stripped of my status and hat, and forced into servitude and menial labour, were it not for my close friends: Rebecca Mordenkainen and Listelle Nybor. All of a similar age and status, we were a team. They, however, understood the importance of hard work, and applied themselves right from the start. I fell behind, but they never drifted away. Perhaps it was the incident were a bully kept shrinking Rebecca until I relocated their jaw with a hammer. Or perhaps it was just our very natures. At any rate, we made a good team, and they stayed with me. In the end, it was probably Nybor's Gentle Reminder (I had no idea it was cast by throwing old boots at the target!) that saw me sit down and actually study.

Despite my good friends, I still spent a lot of time in detention, which typically involved being sent out into a grove full of ducksnakes and bunnyraptors, having to survive a night - something I did just fine with the aid of the hammer I carried. Actually, detention was quite a lot of fun in that respect, far better than hall-cleaning duties, or having to hammer our nails to be used as spell components (or cure small leather strings to fasten component bags - the smell remains for hours). This enjoyment probably helped me stick around long enough (and on their end, my final willingness to study saved me from expulsion - I am aware that even liches have a limit to their patience!), that finally I did show that glimmer of magic. Some instructors were concerned that this was an innate slowness on my part, that it would take fifty years of training just so I could cast Fireball, so I understand they conspired to accelerate my training and graduation.

Indeed, I did end up graduating from the Wee Jas Academy on the same year as my good friends, certificate and everything, and was quickly pushed out the door. It was then that I knew I had my destiny before me: as a real wizard, I had to head out and show the world what I could do. No, not just show the world, but show myself - I had a duty to experience the world, be a proper adventurer, learn by doing, and master magic in the practical way. This promise I made, and that was what led to the wide travels detailed in future chapters.

Note: she will never be able to cast Nybor's Gentle Reminder and discover that it is in fact not just throwing a boot at someone. She can't learn Enchantment spells.

What Actually Happened First Session

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Having been registered as an official adventuring party at the guild, we were sent on a quest that was determined to be perfect for us. I suspect the determination was "nobody else wanted to do it". Heading out to a small village in the middle of nowhere, we discover that they really hate rats and have a temple dedicated to hatred of rats and the veneration of heroic rat-catchers. Most people are trained in rat-catching, we had to pull our trap-happy friend away from the Trap Storeblacksmith.

Long story short, a massive hole appeared in their temple of rat-hating, causing the interred corpse of their saint to fall to the lower levels. They suspect foul play. So we wandered down there and fought some dog-sized rats, killing them good and proper with minimal injuries. Then we discovered they dissolve in holy water.

And then we found a gathering of skavenrat-men skaven. Combat ensued, and some embarrassingly low rolls meant it took longer than it should, though we won in the end. And that was where the session finished because we were all kind of tired at that point.

Lesson to take home: you roll 1d10 for Initiative, and low is good!_________________

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:

There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

So I'm a moron who decided to take a short nap, then woke up 8 hours later and the game had started and finished. But I have the basic gist of what happened.

After realizing there were actual enemies in the crypt, the party decided to go back to town and warn the townsfolk... which gave something in the crypt time to consolidate its power and start summoning up some undead minions. Meanwhile, the townsfolk largely berated the party for being cowards and not doing their job, and started to organize an angry mob to clean the problem up themselves, which couldn't possibly work out badly.

Everyone hauled ass back in time to get to fighting the undead before the mob arrived, and pushed deeper into the crypt, where they found a spectral skeletal warrior with apparent intelligence organizing the undead(looks like he was fighting the ratmen) and some odd chambers. Mori decided to basically go "uh hello are you a badguy?" to the spectral warlord so now his minions are chasing the party.

Lesson to take home: have a nap much earlier in the day, or set a fucking alarm._________________

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:

There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

So this time I was there for the game. We basically set about placing loads of traps, and waiting for undead to smash themselves to pieces on those. That basically worked for simple undead, as we explored more of the tomb.

We then found that, while all the tombs had been opened, one had then been pulled shut again, so two team members opened it to find the skaven cleric had sealed himself up in there. After some bullying by Mori (the ranger), it agreed to follow us, heal us a bit, and then, when we destroy the necromancer they sort of accidentally raised, it will fuck off back home and not come back.

Yeah, they decided to use necromancy to raise the saint of rat smashing, in the hopes that the undead would come up to the surface and scare the people away and they could reclaim their land. It then started raising minions and remembered how much it hated rats. GOOD JOB GUYS.

Also we found a magic bucket: when you fill it with water, the water becomes hot, soapy and lime-scented. Also a mop that might function as a magic quarterstaff, it seems to be good at bashing.

So we encountered the Saint, and he mentioned how he intends on creating an army of undead and conquering the world. What an asshole, right? So a fight ensued. This time I remembered I get 3 attacks per round for darts because they're crazy like that, and a splash of the bucket water basically created a Grease effect which messed up the minions. We then had a tough battle that involved plenty of injuries all round, but we smashed him to bits.

The rat went home, we collapsed their tunnel, we went back to look through a collection of books (one guy found manuals on rat traps and some illithid porn, I found a forbidden tome written by a madman, and some spell scrolls stuffed inside it), we headed to the surface for our reward.

Also I'm now level 2/2. One more level to go! Second level spells, and fighter abilities come online!_________________

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:

There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

WARNING! WARNING! NEW PROG APPROACHING!This new prog is a blast from the past

Seriously though; this isn't comically lethal Burroughs/ Universal Horror/ Herbert/ Lucas/ Heavy Metal AD&D style of game; this is more horribly mad Lovecraft/Howard/Legend of a Flame Princess/40k/ 2000 AD/Warhammer Fantasy (WH 40k) style game. It sounds like you're going to get mindflayed by Call of Cthulhu/Legend of a Flame Princess style character degradation in exchange for vaguely defined magic powers.

Start developing a reputation for iron will due to your proven/existing martial arete, you punches start in your mind after all (a Bigy's Punch might be an appropriate spell idea to research; a human can be trained to throw 6 punches in 3 seconds after 6 months of Krav Maga; I'm sure human fist size punches could come online early on). Perhaps theological guidance might give redundant backups. Have the Cleric indoctrinate you in martial aspects of the known gods, and maybe even burn a NWP on Theology: Martial Arete. Running around with a Protection from Evil and/or Protection from Chaos while studying the madness books might actually help; I can't recall if it protected from mental influence in 2e, the way it did in 3e.

Good luck; so far you seem to be crushing things. Two weapon fighting for doubled dart throwing might also be good (god I hate how AD&D's combat system works; you probably never will be able to b/c TWF isn't something you can get with a Weapon Prof, unless you're using Complete Fighters Handbook, or something). Dart throwing is actually one of the hidden broken things for Fighters in that earlier edition specifically. Small throwing hammers might also work. As useless as it sounds; the Comp. Fighter's HB might be a way to have your earlier Fighter levels tweaked with a Class Kit; I doubt a Wizard class kit will help thought, since many make you give up a lot of schools of magic.

The rogue who likes traps might like caltrops; they'll take less time to set up in open areas (or can create funnels/chokepoints), and might slow creatures injured, and can also be somewhat recovered._________________

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The Gaming Den; where Mathematics are rigorously applied to Mythology.

While everyone's Philosophy is not in accord, that doesn't mean we're not on board.

Nah, this game is mostly going to be cheap laughs. So it's more likely the book will be a dodgy fake or something like that.

As for darts, we are using the splatbook where you gain Character Points and spend them on stuff. Actually, I didn't realise I was supposed to get 4 for my second Fighter level, so I could probably retroactively spend 3 of those on TWF proficiency (the fourth being lost in the void of class changing). Over time I can use these to pick up the schools I can't access, reduce casting time, gain a Thief THAC0 advancement or whatever. Or develop thick skin and reduce by AC by 2 so it'll be 3 without magic items or spells. Which is good for a mage._________________

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:

There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

Darts and 18/00 STR is sickening. I have always loved that the "all hail TSR and the Holy Gygax" editions made darts radically more powerful than two-handed swords.

I thought that Thick Skin was something you could only take at character creation, but I could be wrong and your DM might not care anyway._________________Wife: "Peppering your argument with the word 'fucking' is going to make you seem angry and less intelligent."

Me: "This is The Gaming Den. Any indication of mental filtering will be seen as dishonesty, and you'll be branded a liar, right-wing extremist, and Apocalypse World shill."

AC 3; on almost anyone, is pretty badass. On a mage it's almost insane if it's before magic spells.

Burning 3/4 Character Points for TWF seems costly; I'm not sure if spending those same points on additional Proficiency with darts would be better. Fighters in previous editions could invest more into weapon proficiencies than the other martial classes; but I'm not sure if the bonus to-hit and damage will be worth the investment._________________

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The Gaming Den; where Mathematics are rigorously applied to Mythology.

While everyone's Philosophy is not in accord, that doesn't mean we're not on board.

Stinktopus is correct about normally only a character creation thing, but the MC is pretty chill about this stuff. He said as long as it's not stuff like suddenly growing wings, he doesn't mind of someone suddenly becomes tougher or "better at X". Because that's basically what levelling up does anyway.

The latest session was relatively short. We got back, and did some drinking. Well, first we officially collected our pay from the Guild, and received our next hiring notice. This one written on an animal skin, in the angular writing of an orc, explaining that long ago their relic the Kinslayer was sealed behind runes no orc could pass. The idea being that never again would orc take up arms against orc. Except now humans are out to get it, unaffected by the anti-orc barrier, and they cannot have such a weapon fall into the hands of their enemies. It asks us to "give in to our greed" and accept the job for a bunch of money. Seeing as we're fine with:
A) Keeping an anti-orc weapon out of the hands of non-orcs
B) Letting one group of orcs massacre the rest if that's their thing
C) Getting loads of money
We decided we'd look into that after a bit.

One member of the team owns a tavern, or at least has partial ownership. So we went there and had some drinks while one of the staff explained the local protection racket was making rounds, so we agreed to handle this as a team. Then it was a meeting with the local druids, where those of us who weren't druids tried not to fall asleep. The elder and younger druids are arguing as to whether parks in towns are natural and acceptable, but there are two of each so, like with everything, they're gridlocked and can't make up their mind on anything. Alignments.jpg
Yes, they just wanted our druid as a tie-breaker.

Anyway, finally we had the meeting. An elaborate trap was set up to launch the table into the faces of the foes when they sat down, and well, that's what happened. Turned out they weren't exactly high level, so this trap pretty much ended the fight before it started, meaning what followed was a conversation where we made them a deal: fake their deaths and ship them out on the next ferry so their boss would be none the wiser, and they'd be willing to say who their boss was. Spoilers: we're up against someone who fancies himself a mafia godfather. Or maybe just fancies himself.

Edit: oh right. The magic items were identified. The mop is a +1 Quarterstaff except you can use it to deal all the damage as Acid, and it can also be used to remove sections of AoE spells, mopping Entangle and Wall of Fire and such off the ground. When soaked, it deals double damage against earth elementals, water elementals, mudmen, slimes/jellies, swarms of bugs and anything else that could be considered "a mess". The bucket transforms any liquid into hot, soapy water that basically creates a Grease effect or can be thrown in the face to cause blindness and pain._________________

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:

There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

Last edited by Koumei on Fri Sep 25, 2015 4:17 am; edited 1 time in total

Apparently he came up with it from scratch, beyond general inspiration from watching The Sorcerer's Apprentice a long time ago.

So, this time around, we decided the only correct way to respond to the criminal group is to burn their warehouse down. While they're in it. With two in absolute favour ("Fires and things burning down IN fires is perfectly natural, it happens all the time in the wild" and "They threatened to burn down MY tavern!"), and two leaning towards more moderate, less criminal activities, the "burn it down" faction won.

So we did some amazing planning. By which I mean one person talked to the local populace and learned that it's a fairly newly established thing and the local guard are on the take, while Claudia did painstaking research in "casing the general area to find escape points". Then the trapper bought a barrel full of oil (normal lamp oil, because it's a hundredth the cost of alchemist oilso as to be reasonable and sensible and not just outright explode).

There was some more debate, and only one person noticed the plan-shaped hole in the plan, in between the "we want them to die in a fire" part and the "and then they die in a fire" part. The lack-of-brains behind the operation decided that Claudia, being the strongest person in the room no matter which room she's in, should just carry it in through the front door, slam it on the ground, light it and run. She suggested means that involve not getting shot full of arrows, like at the very least making it clink like it was full of coin, and claiming it's just full of cash, then running while he shoots it with a fire arrow.

When it turned out that even all the guards went inside for some sort of general meeting, we decided to ditch that plan and just sort of soak the entrances and walls in oil and light it up before waiting for them to rush out to their deaths.

The incredible Wizard of great arcane magical skill, Claudia Bigby, then threw lawn darts through their heads while they fled the flames. Also the others helped (the archer shooting several with arrows then shouting "Stop or I'll shoot!", the fightery dual-wielder (ranger?) went mental at them, and the urban druid was absent on that occasion, discussing literature with some nearby insects).

You know, I should really take the time to learn the race/class/name combinations of all the other characters. I mean, they'll at least get a dedication or footnote or something in the book.

So yeah, after the first batch ran out in surprise and died, the next lot were more organised (a little), leaping out armed and ready, practically making a human wall and trying to bullrush their way out of the side alley bottleneck and into the open where escape is possible... while their boss did a runner. Stab shoot stab stab, one flees into the night, surviving, and we give chase, the ranger doing such a great job of tracking that we almost lose the lead before finding a sewer with the cover removed. She leaps straight in, then one of the others who actually has the "Hear noises" skill realises it was a cunning trick and he's escaping overhead by climbing a ladder.

One more "Stop or I'll shoot!" after firing an arrow, and he's already wounded from one shot during the "trying to run into alleys from the burning building" phase. It was a special confusion arrow so he manages to get confused and drop everything he's holding. You know, like the ladder. So he falls to the ground, takes falling damage, and dies, crushing the alchemical flasks in his backpack.

"Oh hey, I did Advanced Alchemy and that smell and faint white smoke means we need to stand right back."

The ranger is pissed off at having to leap into a sewer for nothing, so beheads the guy, then we all head home to celebrate. And in her case, to wash.

Next session we'll start heading into the forest to meet the orcs._________________

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:

There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

We were down a player, but still went on. We headed into the forest, only to be distracted: there was a sign daring people to enter the FORBIDDEN DARK ARMOURY. Beneath that, "Endless decanters half price this season!" So naturally we went to the shopping centre with the (wooden) skulls and the spikes and everything, in search of a bargain. There were spooky noises, but when light was allowed in, those noises were just made by cultists.

The demon at the counter seemed awfully interested in selling stuff to us. He was almost giddy at the thought of the great evils we could unleash upon the world. There were also free wigs: they were hoping to make wigs that gave the power of Medusa, but they ended up only making snakes see you as a friend. The ranger grabbed one for good measure.

Claudia started talking scrolls with him, but basically there were only Evocations and Necromancy (the latter being a banned school). And most of those were cursed/dodgy knock-off scrolls like flame arrow. However, she did buy a scroll of Fireball for "only" 500 GP, then decided that's enough, explaining that it's sound advice to never spend more than 50 platinum per day. Meanwhile, the others decided to open one of the endless decanters, only to discover that they're not endless decanters of water. The one they opened was an endless decanter of horses. Cue everyone fleeing the building while horses endlessly stampede out of there. However they did buy a decanter of endless spiders, feeling the (absent) druid would love that.

Finally the party actually met with the orcs they had originally set out to meet, discovering that even being as close to the ward as they were was making the orcs unwell. So they promised to fetch the magic axe, the Kinslayer, while the orcs went back to a location more pleasant for them. Another group of humans were further ahead, but this team had been shown a map with a shortcut. Next session, we'll find out who can get the axe first!

Also of note: once they took off past the wards, the forest became all... Disney-ish. Flowers blooming everywhere, butterflies, deer that wander up to you, and a double-rainbow._________________

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:

There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

Normally a character can only get ... I believe 2 proficiency ranks in any weapon; but a Fighter can break that restriction.

The dealing of quarterstaff damage as totally acid is pretty amazing; and being able to cast Grease with a limitation of "can you fill the bucket?" is good every time you want to trap up an area. Hopefully your trap-loving Rogue gets use out of it, and combines it with caltrops; and that warehouse burning mission involved trapping the escapes your group left.

A decanter of endless anything is a fucking steal. Endless horses is absolutely exploitable (b/c you can sell them if you pour into a corral; or at least create endless meat, if you pour it from a cliff into an abandoned quarry). A handheld Spiderthrower sounds pretty brutal as well._________________

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The Gaming Den; where Mathematics are rigorously applied to Mythology.

While everyone's Philosophy is not in accord, that doesn't mean we're not on board.

Tiny rakes and hoes* where left lying on the ground to be stepped on. One party member suspected Garden Gnomes.

Pixies were playing badminton, speaking in a pitch that was too high to understand (and kind of painful), and covering everything in pixie dust, which is basically glitter, except every tiny piece seems to be adhesive. They were frightened off at the sight of us, thus sparing us their voices.

A stoned dryad, who spoke and acted like every stoner you have ever met, but was glad to be rid of the pixies and their dust. One party member decided to take a hit off he bong and thus also became every stoner you have ever met.

An owlbear was drinking from a lake, but was terrified at the sight of us and fled. Not sure whether to feel bad-ass or just bad about this.

Finally we reached the centre, where a unicorn, Queen Celestia, was being attended to by the woodland beings. When we made it clear we had no violent intentions, we spoke of the Kinslayer, and they agreed it must not fall into evil hands. She looked into our souls, and felt that, what with us being flavours of _____ Neutral and I think one Chaotic Good person, we weren't pure of heart. So she wouldn't let us take the Kinslayer, but when we spoke of just wanting to make sure it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands, that was found to be agreeable. There was no need for a fight to ensue. We were told that they would protect it against wrongdoers, and we were allowed to help out if that was the idea, but also we weren't evil, so maybe if we stay a few days we can make amends for scaring creatures, getting stoned and breaking gardening tools. And then we can learn the MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP and they will let us take the Kinslayer.

So that's where the session ended: with us about to learn the MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP. This is serious business.

*The gardening tool, not the lady._________________

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:

There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

So we only ended up with a relatively short episode because one player piked and the other basically dropped out completely silent. We spent time generally... helping. Using set snares to assemble a badminton net to make up for the game we ruined... and getting invited to play, then making sure not to beat them at it. Helping with gardening. Sitting for a tea party, where buttercups were the main ingredient in everything, then needing a bit of a nap.

Also did I mention I now hit third level and thus all my fighter stuff has come online? Because that happened.

Then it was confirmed that we're down a player as he has other stuff going on, so for the next session we sort of ret-conned it as "We all succeeded on our quest... we just can't quite remember. It must have been fun, but seriously, it's hard to remember this stuff. You have a tiny pixie rake in your hair. Also (missing player) ended up marrying a dryad and is enjoying the honeymoon, according to the note."

Now we've been hired to rescue a princess from an evil wizard's tower. THE BIG PAYCHECK. We're already considering the "half the kingdom" that we just outright assumed we'll get, and have not considered the fact that it was a magical letter sent by the princess herself (triggered Image spell of some kind for the visual + auditory illusion) and thus most likely a trap of some kind.

So we booked passage on a boat. Being shared most notably by a group of priests of the Vengeance god, who had all taken an oath of silence, and a merchant of cheap perfumes and such, and a group of elven followers of the religion of elf. Where elves are greater than everyone else and to be revered, and if humans and other lesser kin follow devoutly enough, in their next life they could be reincarnated as elves. And yet that's still less wanky than the Player's Guide to Elves.

Anyway, one of the elven cultists tried hitting on a priestess of Vengeance, who used sign language to tell him to fuck off, and then we all woke up at night to find said elf completely dismembered, limbs torn off, in a pile on the deck. Clutching a perfumed note that promised to meet him at midnight. Very flowery handwriting. Anchor was put down, and then the crew just sort of... expected us to figure it all out, being adventurers.

"Well, we're going to have to solve this before we..."

*Looks at decapitated head, puts shades on*

"...head off."

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

We bribed (threatened) the salesman to tell us to whom he sold the perfume, but apparently it was one of the elves, not the Vengeance cultists. Furthermore when we found the female Vengeance cultist and asked her, she wrote (in handwriting that wasn't too similar to that of the letter) that she definitely prayed for his horrible undoing, but wasn't expecting things to be quite so... expedient. Apparently, they don't go around making vengeance happen, that'd ruin the fun for their deity.

And the session ended with us deciding to question the elves._________________

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:

There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.

People wondered why I would utilise "the worst thing in 2Ed, the horrible punishing dual-classing". Later on I suffered 11 damage and was still sitting on 9 as opposed to "dead". And sure, only having 2 spells per day is rough (yes 2, he also decided Wizards get bonus spells/day for a high Int the way Priests do for a high Wisdom), but I can throw darts and still add Strength, so all is good.

I wouldn't call it the "worst" thing. It is weirdly punitive early on, but it's nothing but free goodies once you've "paid it off". With this particular combination, you're playing a slightly weaker mage than you otherwise would have, with the trade-off of getting way more HP than you would have had. At that level, most of your fights will be decided by your ability to deal and take HP damage. Having an 18 Str (without the /00 at this point) and 2d10 HD is pretty good for otherwise being 1st level mage.

IIRC, your XP resets when you dual class, so, you would have paid 2,000 to get to Fighter 2, then you would have 500/2,5000 toward mage 2 at char-gen. So, you only need 4,500 XP to "pay off" your dual class, and everyone else is going to be 3rd level at that point, anyway (except a thief or cleric would hit 4). You should be doing pretty well for relatively little pain early on.

Once you get your fighter bennies, you should specialize in the darts at earliest convenience. Although, I'm not sure you can if you're gaining wizard levels. I don't remember how your "old" fighter abilities interact with new wizard proficiencies once you can use them without penalty. Dart specialization should increase your rate of fire by 50%.

Last edited by RobbyPants on Thu Nov 19, 2015 2:49 pm; edited 2 times in total

Anyway, yes, it didn't take long to pay off, and now it's just gravy from here on out.

In this session, the following happened:

The elves were found below deck, sawing through the floor. Claudia speared one into a crate of apples, but they tried to speak, saying it's not what it looks like.

"So it looks like we killed one of our own, then to hide that we're attempting to sink the ship, right?"

Well at least they know what it looks like.

"Actually, he was just really annoying, so killing him was an aside. We were going to sink this ship from the word go."

Because the evil wizard, Crush Incendio, had told them to do so. So as to stop any help making it to his tower. But they felt they had the wrong ship, because they were told there would be a thief, a wizard and a ranger, and we obviously don't have a thief or wizard with us.

What followed was violent (on our part), but I still haven't cast any spells so for all they know they're still correct. We then dragged the survivors up to explain the situation to the crew, who decided we should probably take the rowboats to shore before the ship sinks. We ended up on a boat with the silent vengeance priests, and we did all the rowing. Being the strongest.

After that it was a simple matter of spending a few days wandering through forests towards town, with one Astrology check saying our lucky food is pinecones, and Claudia wanting to know if it wasn't perhaps a misreading of puffed-pastry eclairs. She's still not sure why there is no patisserie out in the forest.

A few skill checks later, we had found signs of another party stomping about and setting snares, spotted this group of heavily armoured warriors working for Crush Incendio (and barely paid enough to pay attention), and made our way around them. We finally made it to a town. One step closer to CRUSH INCENDIO._________________

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:

There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.