How To: Act In Different Settings

the funeral

There's really no right way to behave at a funeral, but there are many wrong ways. It's an awkward situation that's unpleasant by nature, and you're not supposed to feel at ease or comfortable during a funeral procession.

Issue #1: What to say to the bereaved

No matter the religion of the deceased, grieving and mourning is universal, so pay your respects to the grieving family and say any of the following:

"I'm so sorry."

"We will always remember him/her."

"He/she will be sadly missed."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"I'm here whenever you want to talk."

Don't say:

"At least she didn't suffer."

"At least you had him/her for [number of years]" (unless the person lived until 120)

"Everything happens for the best" or "everything's meant to be"

Issue #2: What to do at the funeral

Cry if you want to, and don't feel the need to say anything to others if you're not in the mood. It's not a social gathering, and those present will understand if you're not up to chatting. Remain silent, and respect the religion of the bereaved and the deceased.

Issue #3: How to comfort the bereaved

The best thing to do is show that you're there and offer your condolences to the bereaved. Depending on how close you are to the family or to the deceased, you can recall a special characteristic or memory that you shared with the deceased. Don't be surprised or insulted if those grieving are not up to talking or socializing; they know you're there, even if they don't acknowledge your presence. Offer to help in any way, shape or form.