After six years and £776m, Edinburgh’s new team service is ready to offer delayed services and the occasional cancelation.

The long awaited public transport system was due to start taking paying passengers at 5:00 this morning, as long as the drivers weren’t on strike, and is said to rival any other system in Britain.

Edinburgh City Council transport convener Lesley Hinds said: “With the tram being part train running on rails and part bus on the city’s, roads we can offer a unique service that can’t run when leaves get in the line and is delayed when traffic builds up.

“We have already proven we are capable of running a project this big to a standard the tax paying public expect. To date it is way over time, massively over budget and only half done.”

Locally, Harold councillor Nina O’Neil has said plans to introduce an ‘Alton towers style’ sky lift to the village are being scrapped after they were described as nothing more than a vanity project.

“If people want to visit the nemesis tribute roller coaster on the edge of Harold, they’ll just have to walk. Or take the swans.”