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PCOSupport

I've been restricting for years now. Some stints as low as 500 calories a day. It's become my routine to drink coffee or shakes during the day and eat a light meal at night. When I eat anything different i get anxious and depressed. My vitamin d and b12 have been consistently low to the point of prescriptions and injections regularly, I have a heart arrhythmia, IBS C, high cortisol and various other "imbalances".

My issue is that I literally weigh 170 lbs and have been there for years after taking phenteremine regularly for roughly 8 years to get down from 220.

Before all of the shaming, I've literally tried every healthy way possible and I honestly didn't know what else to do. If I eat like a normal person for a week I'll put on 5 lbs easily!

I'm teetering on the edge right now of getting myself down to 300 calories a day... And my doctors all think I'm a liar. Half don't believe I could weigh this much with my habits, half just tell me to stay around 900 calories low carb not realizing that this only allows me to maintain! I was even offered bariatric surgery as an option.

I don't know how to unwreck my metabolism or if it's even possible at this point but I know this is a turning point for me.

In case you are wondering, I'm 32, have an amazing career, just a lot of stress which I practice yoga and more recently getting into aerial and contortion. I also feel a lot of pressure to be thin from exercising and feel extremely uncomfortable while doing so. I can't say any part of me has ever enjoyed exercise because of this but I am fairly active and have gone through periods of several years of training at a gym with nothing to show but a bulkier physique. Cardio presents challenges because of the arrithymia.

Just looking to see if anyone else is going through a similar situation and can help me figure out how to be comfortable in my body. I'd planned on so much plastic surgery it's almost sickening to think of the money I'm willing to spend. I wish so much to be one of those women who just doesnt care about appearances. I hate knowing that the only happiness I'll feel is on the other side of a knife!