Thass right. It’s a chunky, purple bangle that doubles as a flask with a secret gemstone bottle stopper, and she snuck it past security like a badass (almost as hardcore as the time I accidentally smuggled lemonade into Hoyts Broadway). I mean, I thought that she’d get ushered to the front of the VIP queue, or at least have her own rider, or even a designated bartender to pour cocktails straight into her mouth. But our home girl RiRi proves that she’s just like us, and likes her premix straight from the wrist.

I’m not Rihanna. You’re not Rihanna. Hell, sometimes Rihanna ain’t Rihanna, and is in fact a shape-shifting burlesque dancer from the 28th century. But for under $40, you can at least pretend to be Rihanna. Etsy is already running hot with “Rihanna bracelet flasks”—they’re stainless steel, apparently food-safe, and can be yours for just $33! And call us old, but how the heck would you even wash one of these out properly?

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By Yvonne Lam

Neither a lawyer nor a doctor, Yvonne is a great disappointment to her mother (except for the time Noni Hazlehurst gave her a prize at Roselands Shopping Centre). Likes: em-dashes, doing the laundry, telling people she hasn’t seen Star Wars. Dislikes: burpees, Star Wars.