Tuesday, November 20, 2012

At the Store

November
20, 2012

Mogambo
Guru

At the Store

As I stood in the line at the grocery store, I watched the
family in front of me, which reminded me of a Norman Rockwell painting; an
all-American family, out happily shopping together, what with the mom, the dad,
and the two little kids.

As I watched, my heart went out to them, knowing that they
had no clue as to the economic cataclysm that is going to befall all of them,
especially the cute little kids.So I
kindly stepped forward to help them.

I leaned forward towards them and politely said "Pardon
me, but I see that you are buying Froot Loops cereal for, I assume, your
darling children. And speaking of Froot Loops, did you know that the horrid
Obama deliberately deficit-spent a monstrous $1.5 trillion every year for the
last four years, which was on top of the $2.4 trillion that the government
already collected in taxes, fees, expenses, tip, tag and title?"

Well, bless their hearts, they predictably tried their best
to ignore me, and I could see them furtively looking around for a way to get
away from me.Unfortunately, there were
other shoppers in the checkout line ahead of them, blocking their path.And I had cleverly stationed my shopping
cart between them and me, both blocking the aisle to prevent their retreat, and
(very importantly!) keeping out of range.

In their best interests, I earnestly continued my loud line
of highly-instructional questioning by asking them "And did you know that
his blithely increasing the national debt by a whopping, eye-watering,
gag-inducing, terrifying six trillion bucks in 4 short years is equal to a
staggering 40% of our $15 trillion GDP? That's almost half of our Entire
Freaking Economy (EFE)!"

I could feel my panic growing as I continued instructing
them "And did you know that it was all outrageously heaped on the aching
backs of the 300 million overly-indebted men, women and children living in this
country?"

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the store manager
coming towards us, huffing and puffing, with that "Oh, no! Not you
again!" look on his stupid face.

Instantly I knew that I had to make a crucial tactical
decision: Whether or not to abandon my groceries, leap atop the checkout
counter, run to the end to make a glorious, fabulous, flying leap towards the
door and thus making my getaway, taking my leave with my standard shout of
farewell, "Buy gold, silver and oil, you morons!"

To do so, however, would be to suffer the sad, sorry loss of
a lot of delicious "buy one, get two free" frozen burritos, and who
knows when they are going to have a sale like THAT again? I mean, c'mon! What
to do? What to do?

I thought to myself "My time to educate these people
grows short if I am to, heroically, before the manager gets here, teach these
morons about how the evil Federal Reserve is creating So Freaking Much Money
(SFMM) that inflation in prices will destroy those who do not wisely buy gold,
silver and oil!"

Quickly, I summed up by saying "And this is just the
INCREASE in the national debt to an incomprehensible $16 trillion, which is
already bigger than the aforementioned Entire Freaking Economy (EFE), which
comes to a debt of $53,000 dollars for each of you two adults, and the two
little tykes, too, which comes to a nice, round $212,000 just for YOUR little
family. How you like them apples?"

I was hoping they would, at least, enjoy my witty reference
to apples as we are in a grocery store.

But no. Seeing that I was getting nowhere with the adults, I
turned to the kids and said, "Kids, enjoy that Froot Loops cereal, because
soon prices will be so high that you will be eating horrible, soupy, microwave
gruel, making the huge assumption that your folks will have a microwave oven
and can afford the electricity to cook gruel, unless your parents wise up and start
buying gold, silver and oil!"

Just then, the little manager comes storming up and says,
predictably, "You again?"

I said "Yes!'Tis I, The Wise And Wonderful Mogambo (TWAWM), spreading the gospel of
TWAWM, namely the revelation to buy gold and silver to capitalize on the
guaranteed cataclysmic inflation in prices that you get whenever your idiot
government is allowing the Federal Reserve to create so excessively much, so
monstrously much, so stupendously much, so impossibly much money and credit. And
proud to do so, sir!"

I was thinking to myself, of course, "And there ain't
nothing you can do about it, you little bastard who probably has all his
retirement funds idiotically 'invested' in common stocks and/or in the most
ludicrously overpriced asset of all, namely bonds, and who is going to
tragically get The Royal Screw Job (TRSJ) because of it."

The bad news is that the store manager stood there, glaring
at me, the whole time I am in his stupid little store, and I am wisely keeping
my mouth shut, just in case I put a lot of innocent frozen burritos in
jeopardy.

But the good news is not only did I, Mogambo, heroically
help a young family with TWAWM, but when their turn soon came to check out,
they just pushed their cart out of the way and ran out the door!I was
able to start checking out right away! Great!

It just goes to show you one more way, on top of a million
other ways, that good things happen to those who buy gold, silver and oil.

And that is, perhaps, also one more reason that people who
buy gold, silver and oil say "Whee! This investing stuff is easy!"

1 comment:

Somebody has to teach the young families the truth, Mogambo, because they sure ain't gonna learn from the idiot box, faux news, CNBS, or the publik edumakashunal system. Gold, silver, Oil. Three things to learn, three things to buy, three things to keep buying. Whee, Investing Mogambo style IS easy!

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The Mogambo Guru
Richard Daughty (Mogambo Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron's, The Daily Reckoning , and other fine publications. For podcasts featuring the Mogambo.