I’m just a cynical, burned out middle aged man who no longer fits in anywhere and I just want to be left alone to drink myself to death in peace, which I’m doing a pretty good job of because quite frankly I’m fucked. Then all the people I’ve variously pissed off, disappointed or traumatised will hav...

I had one at Eastgate mall on Saturday after picking up a birthday present for a mate of mine at Penny Lane. Took ages to get ready ‘cos the two chicks at the kiosk were distracted by some doddery old cunt demanding a “cold drink” but failing to specify what kind and paying for it with coins from 18...

I never did you any wrong Phil. I have stuck up for you on numerous occasions. You chucked your toys over me being friends with people you’ve got a mutual shitty on with, because I’m not taking sides in shit that’s got nothing to do with me, like a fucking petulant child.

As much as I’m alarmed by the rise of the neo-fascist right these days, I also see signs of authoritarianism and a totalitarian mob mentality in the elements of the left who are pejoratively known as “Social Justice Warriors” reminiscent of extreme Maoists. Their behaviour on university campuses and...

I’m sure there’s someone out there willing to write a 40 page article on how he’s inherently problematic and should stop doing whatever he’s doing. Fuck people anyway. The older I get the more I think the ultimate cure to injustice and general human fuckery would either be a massive asteroid or a nu...

People eat crickets and shit. Can’t see how it’s that different from eating prawns really. I’ve had lots of dreams where I suddenly lose control of a bodily function in public lately. Had one the other night where I was down the pub and went to fart but it wasn’t just a bit of a wet one, it was a fu...

I just chewed my nails and one of them tore really badly so I ended up ingesting several layers of my own skin and a wee bit of blood and whatever my fingers have been touching recently which doesn’t really bear thinking about.

I’ve seen the new Doctor Who now, which I had been looking forward to. Now I feel empty and bereft of purpose. There’s a disaster movie on the telly but I can tell in advance that The Rock(tm) isn’t going to die so there’s not much of a point. Might just retire to bed and watch a documentary about w...