A man at a nudist camp got a letter from his mother asking for a
picture. Since the only pictures he had were taken in the nude, he cut
one in half and mailed her the part showing only from the waist up.

His mom wrote back after receiving the photograph and said, "Thanks for the picture. Can you send one to Grandma too?"

The
guy thought, since Grandma can't see well, I'll just give her the
bottom half, and he sent it. After getting her grandson's picture, she
wrote to him and said, "Nice picture, but your hairstyle sure makes you
nose look long."

Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like
forever. He'd waggle, look down, look up, but never start his backswing.
Finally David, his playing partner, asked, "Why on Earth are you taking
so long to make this shot?"

"My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse, and I want to make
this shot a good one," said Bob.

"Good Lord," said David, "you haven't got a chance of hitting her from here."