I’m pretty much the anti-Christ and an asshole of ginormous proportions. As such, it’s remarkable that I have any friends at all, let alone friends who withstand the test of time. I’ve known Stilts since he was a wee lad at William and Mary — I helped him realize when he could and couldn’t skip classes — and we’ve been best friends ever since. Stilts is turning thirty today, three decades of being one of the most accepting, caring humans I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Here’s a quick run-down some of the key events Stilts has been around for, in somewhat chronological order:

My graduation from William and Mary.

Ten jobs.

Eight cars.

Seven residences.

Six MMORPGs.

Five girlfriends, including his sister.

Moving from Virginia to Oregon, to Oregon back to Virginia, from Virginia to Maryland, and from Maryland back to Virginia.

The death of my sister.

Losing countless games of foosball (sorry buddy).

There’s a lot of stuff in there that I won’t post about in public, or has fallen off my dusty bookshelf of a mind. What’s important is that my best friend is another year older, and I’m more thankful than ever that he’s been such an unwavering companion for so long. Thanks for over twelve years of friendship, buddy, and may we have dozens more.