Prince Philip forcibly ejected from hospital

After one too many "and what do you do's" and accusations of oderlies having "not defended their homelands against Hitler", Prince Philip was politely requested by two 34-stone hospital security guards to leave Papworth Hospital in Cambridgeshire where he was recouperating from a recent illness.

Her Majesty the Queen had been telephoned early this morning to collect her husband after three doctors resigned and seven other members of staff at the hospital were reduced to tears following their conversation with His Royal Highness.

Yesterday afternoon, the Prince cause a bit of a furore with his shotgun practice involving incontinence pads being thrown out of the window by junior doctors.

A spokesperson said that while it was an honour to have Royal patronage at the hospital, it was felt that the Royal carry-on was far too disruptive to other patients.

It was also felt unhelpful that when the Duchess of Cambridge came to visit, on seeing the Royal rear, a heart patient had a stroke.

Which is actually the job of the Duke of Cambridge.

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