Dr. Phil’s ‘Love Smart’! It’s Got Exclamation Points! Lots of Them! More Than Two Dozen in the First Seven Pages! Enough to Qualify Him for a Delete Key Award? You Tell Me!

Love Smart has lots of exclamation points! More than two dozen in the first seven pages alone! And can that Dr. Phil McGraw ever dish out the clichés! See how many you can find in this line: “Now it seems time to step up and close the deal, get ‘the fish in the boat,’ walk down the aisle, tie the knot … you want to get to the next level.”

Is that enough to earn a Delete Key Award for the year’s worst writing in books? Or just worse than a bad episode of The Bachelorette? How about if I tell you that “America’s therapist” also advises women hold sex “in reserve” until a man has made “the ultimate commitment,” because many men still think: “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?” Women, tell me HOW YOU LIKE BEING COMPARED TO COWS! Men, tell me HOW YOU WOULD LIKE IT IF WE ALL WENT ON THE KIND OF SEX STRIKE THIS SEEMS TO BE RECOMMENDING! Yes, Dr. Phil uses a lot of BIG FONTS, too, because he seems to think we won’t GET IT if he doesn’t!

HOW CAN I DECIDE WHICH OF THE TEN WORTHY FINALISTS SHOULD WIN A DELETE KEY AWARD? PLEASE HELP ME BY LEAVING A COMMENT BECAUSE I HAVE TO ANNOUNCE THESE BY NOON TOMORROW!

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“Cry for help” is an excellent description of what many Delete Key finalists have made. You wonder where all the editors have gone, don’t you? In Dr. Phil’s case, another factor may also be at work: He’s used to speaking on television. And people will put up with blather from talk-show hosts if they’re interviewing sparkling guests. (Not that I’ve seen a sparkling guest on Dr. Phil’s show, but there must have been some, right?) The blather can be disaster if carried over into books that don’t have the benefit of that extra presence.