NHL.com might not be acknowledging it — in fact, its "CBA News" page hasn't updated in two weeks, because the staff is so busy — and league reps are denying it, but the weird anonymous guy at Eklund's Hockey Rumors and a story in the Los Angeles Times confirm: The NHL and the players unions have ratified a new deal. Hockey will return. Madness, chaos in the streets; hey, get off our porch, you kids!

The agreement will be announced next week and is considered a victory for dwarfish NHL commissioner Gary Bettman. The season will start ... well, we're not sure. Doesn't hockey season kind of just happen, like, all the time?