How to write a really, REALLY unoriginal song?

I'm serious, kinda. If you wanted to write the most generic song possible in a given genre, how would you go about it?

I'd start by asking some questions about typical parameters - most common tempo, length, key, instrumentation, number of words, rhyme scheme, number of sections, number of different chord progressions, number of drum patterns. If I need a melody, I'd see if the melody should contain only chord tones or not. Stuff like that.

I'd gather a bunch of data first, in other words. Then I'd try to make a structure using that data as parameters and structural blocks, and start filling the blocks in with the most common chord progression, most common drum pattern etc.

This actually could be a lot of fun, especially if doing it for a genre you're not really familiar with. And you'd learn a lot.

Correct. A few hours of listening to this should suck all the creativity from your soul. If you are still feeling a little creative, watch some American Idol reruns. Warning - this may cause permanent damage.

I'm serious, kinda. If you wanted to write the most generic song possible in a given genre, how would you go about it?

I'd start by asking some questions about typical parameters - most common tempo, length, key, instrumentation, number of words, rhyme scheme, number of sections, number of different chord progressions, number of drum patterns. If I need a melody, I'd see if the melody should contain only chord tones or not. Stuff like that.

I'd gather a bunch of data first, in other words. Then I'd try to make a structure using that data as parameters and structural blocks, and start filling the blocks in with the most common chord progression, most common drum pattern etc.

This actually could be a lot of fun, especially if doing it for a genre you're not really familiar with. And you'd learn a lot.

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Umm, go with the 1-4-5 chord progression and go with lyrics about losing a girlfriend, your dog dying, you ain't go no money, The Man! or a serial killer and you'll have a song for the Blues, C&W, Rock, Pop, Rap and Metal.

If you really want to further your writing ability, learn 5-10 songs in the style you want to try to write in. Take what you like from those songs and create a song from similar patters, chords, progressions, etc. Just listening will not really help you because you are still going to play what you know how to play and just because you WANT to write a song like that doesn't mean it just pops out.

Tempo: 120 BPM
Length: 2:30
Key: A "singer" key like G or F (seems to be the keys most singers I've played with like)
Instrumentation: That depends on the genre.
Rhyming scheme: Do near rhymes. Like rhyme "baby" with "today" and stuff like that.
Song form: Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Bridge, Double Chorus fade...
Chord progression: I, IV, V, I... or maybe I, IV, ii, V, I

That seems to be what I've noticed from 90% of the swill that's out there.

Of course I could be wrong.

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My my.... most of my songs are around a 120 tempo (btween 115-130 anyway), most are around 3 minutes. As for the key..i wouldn't know since i don't even know that much theory (same for chord progression, i have no idea what I IV V I means) but i suspect it's likely a very typical one. Also, 4/4. Song form...traditional though i bother with an intro and outro normally. Otherwise verse chorus verse chorus bridge, sure.

It bears mentioning i have a very pop oriented mind. (but more like 80's....)

The thing is...i feel its perfectly possible to sorta adhere to the common parameters for songwriting and still write good worthwhile songs...i know all the bands i love pretty much did it (save some exceptions in their catalog.)

My my.... most of my songs are around a 120 tempo (btween 115-130 anyway), most are around 3 minutes. As for the key..i wouldn't know since i don't even know that much theory (same for chord progression, i have no idea what I IV V I means) but i suspect it's likely a very typical one. Also, 4/4. Song form...traditional though i bother with an intro and outro normally. Otherwise verse chorus verse chorus bridge, sure.

It bears mentioning i have a very pop oriented mind. (but more like 80's....)

The thing is...i feel its perfectly possible to sorta adhere to the common parameters for songwriting and still write good worthwhile songs...i know all the bands i love pretty much did it (save some exceptions in their catalog.)

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A lot of great songs follow that formula. But it's also the pop song formula that almost everyone uses and therefore is pretty unoriginal as far as songwriting goes. Keep in mind, originality isn't always a good thing either. Yoko Ono is pretty original but I can only listen to about 10 seconds before I want to shoot myself.

There's nothing wrong with song analysis, it's our way of learning history. Gotta know it to avoid repeating it, though I'd say that's a lot easier said than done. Not much, if anything, new in music. Everything is based on earlier work and repackaged to some extent. There are many college courses and books you can find on Amazon that deal with this. But unless you write for a very targeted market, jingles, or arrange for media that demands certain "styles" you probably don't need to get very deep into it.

Look up "The Hook" by Blues Traveler. The song itself is about writing completely bland and formulaic songs.

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Reminds of 'Poppa's Blues' from Starlight Express:

Oh the first line of the blues is always sung a second time.
First line of the blues is always sung a second time.
So by the time you get to the third line you've had time to think up a rhyme.

Oh there ain't no law that says the third line has to be different at all.
No, no, there ain't no law that says the third line has to be different at all.
No there ain't no law that says the third line has to be different at all.

Never borrow a mouth organ - not even from your best friend.
No, no, no, never borrow a mouth organ - not even from your best friend.
'Cos you may survive the blowing, but the sucking's gonna get you in the end. Oh yeah!

Look up "The Hook" by Blues Traveler. The song itself is about writing completely bland and formulaic songs.

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The interesting thing about that song is that it uses the same chord progression as Pachelbel's Canon in D, perhaps one of the most mind-numbingly repetitive pieces ever. (Ask any bassist or cellist who's had to suffer through playing it. I have!!)
I-V-vi-iii-IV-I-IV-V, repeat ad nauseam.