A Guide to Growing Up - Level 4 (Bitches and Douchebags)

A Guide to Growing Up - Level 4 (Bitches and Douchebags) Lyrics

One man’s heaven is another man’s hell. The single life is typically looked at as an undesired state though. Many people usually talk themselves into enjoying it, when they’d prefer one constant source of companionship and sex, if only it didn’t come with all the bullshit and drama. Aside from the PUAs (pick-up artists), who are just hollow, fake, manipulative pieces of shit in every way they can imagine, single people really are out there looking to make a connection, but because of PUAs, general creeps, and drunken frat boys trying to shamelessly get a piece, the initial approach remains a very shaky area. It’s 2012, but men are still assumed to be the pursuers most of the time. Pretty much any time a girl pursues, she gets who she wants, unless she tries for someone out of her league or someone who is unavailable. So let’s discuss men trying to get close to women…

How Men See Women

We’re curious things, us men. We jeer and lust after the famous sluts while turning up our noses at the local sluts. Then, we fall in love with the good girls, all in hopes of making them into our own sluts. It’s no wonder women can’t figure us out. Of what real importance is sex anyway? There are millions of unwanted children already in this world who desperately need a loving home. The “need” for sex is just another symptom of our elation-based values in society today. As we evolve as a species, the peace we derive from sex will be considered out-dated and largely, a waste of time (as it takes dozens of hours sometimes just to marinate a girl into putting out). This peace includes love, security, safety, fulfillment, and validation. All will one day be obsolete. How this is accomplished will be told another time, in another book, written by an author more spiritually actualized.

Women are in control these days. It’s the man’s job to cater to their needs and desires, while sticking up for themselves just enough to keep things moderately fair (well-laid). Back in the day, women were docile and submissive, because men were the providers and women needed men in order to eat and be safe. Now, women are truly independent and very wary of being used or controlled, due to their long history of oppression and disrespect. Men look at women like they’re a different species altogether sometimes, but that’s not the case. Just like with men, some women are winners and some women are losers. Some are smart, some are dumb, and all are at least a little bit crazy. They are not better, nor worse, than men. The entire “battle of the sexes” is completely retarded. However, many women will say they don’t like most other women. They can’t even understand one another.

With true bitches being the exception, most women want to return the happiness their men bring to them, and (within reason) they’ll do whatever it takes. They must be attracted to you, however. Most women know in the first night if they’ll ever sleep with you. If you don’t click right away with a girl (on a level she acknowledges), don’t waste your time. The chances of her changing her mind are very slim. You could lavish her with the world, and she’d try to make herself want you, but deep down, she’ll always remember what turned her off about you in the first place and eventually it will come up and ruin things. So don’t smell bad. Then again, sometimes persistence pays off. If you can pull it off without being a creep or stalker, she may give you a chance just because she enjoys feeling wanted. But it takes a long time of being nice, confident, and taking “No” for only a temporary answer.

Female Archetypes

When you’re dealing with a woman, you have to figure out how she functions on a base level. You can tell immediately by the way she talks whether or not she is headstrong or emotion-based. Each is an entirely different species, almost. Before you can do anything, you have to understand how each one perceives life.

Headstrong women - Headstrong women crave knowledge and excitement. There tend to be lots of good times, until they get bored with you. Be cautious about staking your heart with a girl like this. Girls of this nature are nicely compatible with guys in general, but unless you’re both going in the same direction with the same goals, and she’s more in touch with her heart than her dreams, it’s not very often you’ll find an ever-lasting relationship at this age with one of these girls. They have to do their thing for awhile before settling down.

An intelligent woman is not necessarily also a wise (or mature) woman; or a woman who knows what she wants or what she’s doing. She’s also not necessarily a good person either. As it goes, the smarter people are, the more it tends to hurt them when they are betrayed or let down (they beat themselves up for not seeing it coming). Intelligent women tend to carry a lot of baggage. Baggage comes from past experiences you had nothing to do with and can do nothing about. All the wonderful things in the world won’t make her forget the one time someone else she counted on let her down. You can make her current world a kick-ass place, but only she can put fresh paint on the world inside her heart. Baggage is not something to always stay away from, but it’s important to analyze how she deals with it and if there is progress being made to exorcise it. The key to a good relationship is not perfection; it’s compatibility. Oh, and as mentioned at the beginning, attraction is all necessary (and unfortunate).

Feeling-based women - Feeling-based women are the most loving, but the most confusing to deal with. They do not think logically, nor react logically. If turned down by a feeling-based woman, rejection should not be attributed to a fault or flaw in yourself (or her). Sometimes it’s just chance; bad timing or a vibe they didn’t like, as opposed to anything you did wrong. Feeling people respond more to action (I got what I want/need, I did not get what I want/need) more than expressed thought. A long embrace will have more impact than the most insightful lecture.

Some girls still have the idea in their heads that a guy should just know what they want. Once you discover this characteristic in a girl, give her one warning to knock that fairy tale shit off and work on her communication skills, or you’re moving on. Dealing with a woman like that is not fair to you. She has to learn how to speak her mind, at least until you both have a highly-developed psychic link.

Feeling-based women are a total pain in the ass, but they’re the ones who are able to show their love better and you can trust them to be loyal for as long as you’re loyal to them. These women are very high-maintenance, as well as high reward. If you enjoy a challenge of endurance, this is the type of woman for you. While they can come off as stupid, when expressing their opinions on certain subjects, understand this is not the case. They simply process information differently, and value certain details differently. When with a woman of this breed, there is no lesson you will learn more often than that the truth is relative. And what makes ours more real than hers? Life is a series of things you pay attention to.

How to decide which type of girl is right for you? It comes down to this fact of humanity: People want what they don’t have. Boring people crave external entertainment. Empty people crave to be fulfilled. Scared people want someone who is strong. Chaotic people want someone who brings them peace. Headstrong girls at this age seem exciting because of how reckless and open-minded they are. If you leave a lot of them by themselves, they just get bored, because they lack an internal source of substance, unless they love to learn. Feeling-based women almost always have some kind of internal (and too often, external) drama to process, so boredom is far down the list of mental states you’ll find these girls in when they’re by themselves. To this type of woman, you are a source of distraction, rather than excitement. They have no problem finding excitement in life because, as I say it again, this culture values elation. Regardless of which type you choose, she should pass the Formula for Trust (see the chapter on perspective tweaks). Devise your own custom tests to determine these characteristics, as every person exhibits slightly different traits.

Let’s break down different types of women a little further than the bare function level. A lot of them are very unique, sweet people, but there’s also a bunch of clones running around everywhere, usually trying to live a lifestyle not meant to be. But hey, everyone needs love sometimes, so beware of what you’re about to get into when dating these types of women:

Clueless - She may not be blond, but she sure is dumb. A lot of it may be due to youth, lack of worldly experience, or a sound bonk on the head during childhood, but whatever the reason, these tittering fools have emerged into early adulthood without much sense. She may know how to read, and even have a decent vocabulary, but she uses those big words to say moronic bullshit whenever she opens her mouth. This common creature often travels in packs and can be found moseying around local malls or bars. They are marked by butterfly tattoos upon the ankle and are the only ones laughing at their jokes, a rather unmistakable and somewhat irritating noise.
Positive: Easy.
Negative: Vapid, boring, over-confident in her opinions and intellectual prowess.
Recommendation: Wait till your hormones level out and you begin to realize she’s a few crayons short of a box, then book it.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - These girls are easy to spot, even from space, due to their brightly-dyed mohawks and oh-so shiny piercings in places that make you go “Wow.” She says “No!” to established societal order and isn’t afraid to outwardly display her lack of faith that society won’t crumble before she hits 30. She talks and acts like a “tough guy” so be prepared for at least mild physical and verbal abuse—she’s got to show you who’s boss! She’s nobody’s sister and this ain’t her first rodeo! But come back in ten years and you will find her married to a tax attorney, driving a mini-van.
Positive: That stud in her tongue feels kinda nice!
Negative: Moody, violent, shoplifter.
Recommendation: Wear a cup.

Princess - Obsessed with status and wealth, these demanding and hard-to-please women have grown up accepting money as a replacement for love. These are the ones who have an extreme meltdown when they open a birthday present to find the keys to the wrong colored Mercedes-Benz. You may be lured in by her flirtatious ways and her clothes will always be on-trend, but beware; as soon as she finds out how much money you make, and sees that hooptie you drive, she will drop you like you’re last year’s Armani pumps.
Positive: Daddy bought her a really nice rack. Might take you skiing.
Negative: High-maintenance, expensive to keep her mini-tea-cup-poodle in doggie diapers.
Recommendation: Do not attempt. Professional driver on closed course.

Body Image Issues - Her boobs/nose/butt/toes/eyes/pores are too big/small/hairy/pointy/pale. Her hair is too straight/frizzy/curly/dark/light/thick/fine. She will cry if you offer her diet soda, because it means you think she’s fat. Self-deprecating chatter replaces normal conversation. You want to make her feel as beautiful as you think she is, but you never can.
Positive: Is grateful that you’re into her despite apparent physical grotesqueness.
Negative: Refuses to go on dates because she is “too ugly/fat to leave the house.” Won’t let you watch porn anymore.Recommendation: Remove all fluorescent light bulbs from residence.

I Just Wanna Have Fun Right Now - You cannot possibly fulfill her in the way a blood alcohol level of 0.25 can. These girls have been burned by men and now are content to use them the same way most men use women: one moment at a time. The only way to land this woman is to be in close proximity when she finally hits rock bottom, after something terribly scary and horrible happens, she’s spent a solid hour puking and crying, and realizes she needs to straighten her life out and a nice guy around to be her footstool is just what the doctor ordered (along with anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication).
Positive: There’s no underwear underneath that little black dress.
Negative: More unchecked baggage than American Airlines. The hot degrading sex is for one-night stands only.
Recommendation: Check back when they hit their late 20s and are 20lbs heavier. They should be about ready to get “settle down” (aka, “accidentally” knocked up).

Daddy Issues - This girl seems so awesome and strong, but just can’t seem to ever make a good choice when it comes to men. All she really wants is for everything to somehow be ok with her dad, who will suddenly stop being a drunken asshole and be kind, loving, and appreciative to his beautiful daughter. Since that’s never going to happen, she sub-consciously role-plays out the scenario with other jerks in her love-life. It’s not that she wants to; she’ll take just about anybody who will be nice to her, so long as they’re strong enough to protect her from the evils of the world that Daddy never did/Daddy himself is.
Positive: These girls will do absolutely anything to please their men. Unless you’re boring, she’ll probably never leave you.
Negative: One little mistake and she’ll never trust you again. Very little margin for error with this tired soul. These relationships typically end with attempted murder.
Recommendation: Be sure you love her before getting into anything. There’s no taking it slow.

Nerdy girls - She may hide her figure under t-shirts and hoodies. She may tell the stupidest jokes, just to annoy you. She may not have brushed her hair or teeth today. Or shaved where she should. Your friends probably will say that you can do better. Other than whatever her one or two weird niche interests are, there doesn’t seem much of a place for her to fit into society. However, her idea of happiness is having sex while playing video games at the same time… all night.
Positive: You don’t have to work out or work hard to impress her. She’ll do pretty much whatever you want.
Negative: She isn’t going to work out or work hard to impress you. She doesn’t communicate her feelings well.
Recommendation: Take her as she is and be happy. You can always hang out with your friends when you want socially well-adjusted company. The secret to getting her to pluck her eyebrows is giving her silver hair dye and purple cat-eye contacts. She’ll know what to do from there.

What Women Are Attracted To

Women are tricky, and their way of judging attractiveness is far different from ours. Young women are especially tricky, because most of them don’t even know what they really want or are attracted to. It’s as much a learning experience for them as it is for us. Most women are attracted to “types.” Some like skaters, some like nerds, and some like bass players. It’s annoying, but a male with compatible traits and characteristics will just end up as a close friend, if he’s not her “type.” Things will not progress into more because either the woman is comfortable with the relationship and doesn’t want to jeopardize what she has, or the man does not put forth the correct effort into making things progress further. (The correct effort is acting like someone who expects to be more than a friend; it’s saying and doing things that make your intentions clear, that friendship to you is only the beginning.) “Type” tends to be a very external thing, having to do with attitude, look, and lifestyle. Girls who go for types see men as status symbols. There is an internal competitiveness among women which makes them need to prove to other women that they are desirable to men. Sometimes, maintaining the status of being with a certain kind of man is more important to the woman than the actual quality of the relationship with him.

So what are women, who are not into specific types, attracted to? Money? Intelligence? Kindness? Pff… women want it all. Women want someone who is dynamic and able to keep up with their spontaneity. Every woman says she wants her man to be smart and funny. It doesn’t matter how dull and boring she is, she thinks she can bag a comedian. Of course, every guy she dates is really just an obnoxious idiot. What women are actually attracted to is security. It’s a crazy world out there. One out of every four women is sexually assaulted at some point in her life. Smart and funny can’t make her happy if she’s being physically overpowered. Besides, her friends are there to make her laugh. She may be attracted to dangerous men because they have experience in handling dangerous situations. It kind of makes a little more sense now, doesn’t it? So work out and know how to handle weapons. We all hope we never have to act out our white knight fantasy to save the girl in trouble, but you need to be properly prepared to. If you try and fail… it’s worse than not having been there at all.

Women rely heavily on illusion and denial to get through life. Men seem to be the inverse: instead of denying the things that happen, they deny the effects of what happens. Because of what a sad, brutal world this is, denial a necessary skill that a lot of women need in order to be sane and not feel completely helpless.

There is also the factor of how your energy comes across. Someone enshrouded in stress or negativity will give off a vibe, like a stench. Women, being more naturally sensitive and intuitive, can pick up on this and will be turned off. Women can also smell fear. This will either turn them off or it will become a weapon against you. For instance, if you shower her with gifts and think that will earn you ass, you will be yelled at for this because they know you’ll back down. Don't expect to exchange things for sex unless you've outright agreed to be her sugar daddy. If you assume that you can buy your way into a girl’s heart/pants, and she is not that kind of girl, your strategy will make her feel cheap and maybe objectified. Also, women don’t want anyone around who is more dramatic than they are .

The biggest thing a woman is attracted to is mystery. Let’s face it; guys in general suck. The only way for a woman to think of a guy as great is to not really know him yet. You don’t need to lie or not be yourself in order to seem mysterious. Show a girl you can talk, and also listen quietly. Show her you can think logically, but also be receptive and empathetic to her feelings. In the same conversation, once this has been accomplished, and you can see she is intrigued and curious about you, let your mind wander, and offer no explanation other than a smile. This will ignite her imagination (and ego), as she will wonder if you are thinking about her. If she asks if you are thinking about her, say maybe. Ask her a few easy questions about herself to show you’re interested in her too. If you’re not thinking about her, make her pry an answer out of you and then share your thoughts. She will be disappointed she has not been able to get your entire attention, so you better have something good to share. Being tastefully difficult is crucial to keeping a woman interested in you. Women stay with abusive men of all sorts for the same reason. They like a challenge. If you can be a healthy challenge to her, you’ll both be very happy around one another.

Success with women isn’t about manipulation. It’s about presentation. First, you must learn how the girl you want to attract interprets information. Does she follow what she sees, or does she follow what she feels? Girls who follow what they see must be very physically attracted to their partner. Being hot or not is a case-by-case deal-breaker. Either way, you should be as physically healthy as you can. People who do not take care of their own health are not viewed as attractive long-term prospects. If the girl listens to her feelings more than her eyes, looks don’t matter as much as how she feels when you’re around. A girl’s mind also looks into the future and examines how you might fit into what she expects for herself. You need to appear mature enough to earn a good income and own a home some day. Most women also want to have children some day and will look for good fatherhood qualities in a man as well. Of course, that’s just long-term.

In a casual dating/hook-up environment, it’s all about looks and status. It’s all about figuring out what league you’re in, and trying to hook up with other people on the same level. The goal in this scenario is experience and fun. Personal qualities aren’t all that important. People whose inner beauty is their strongest characteristic might be better off looking for something long-term. People seeking long-term relationships will appreciate these qualities more. A woman's single life is all about star-fucking, and as time goes on, the stars they shoot for get lower and dimmer until she finally catches one. If you want love, know who you are and who is currently shooting for someone on your level. Harsh realization, isn't it? Better pick up guitar or water polo after all…

How Women See Men

Finding love is a much different conquest for women than it is for men. Women could just stand around waiting for anyone to walk by, but once word got around, they’d be overwhelmed. When it comes to love, a girl doesn't want a bunch of guys to love her. What a girl wants, is to find a guy she considers her ideal mate, and then make him love her. Sure, she can find love easily from someone else, but she can't change him to be taller, richer, better looking, more adventurous, and better respected by the community… as easily as she can just find someone with those attributes and try to seduce them.

Landing a Good Man

Sorry ladies, it’s hopeless. But that's not very insightful or helpful, so let’s break it down and plow through this evil shit. After a lifetime of over-protection, women experience independence for the first time once they leave home. At this life stage, they know who they are and their task is to explore and discover their worth and how they fit into this world. They are in their prime during these years. It's all about adventure and living it up. For a male, it's much different. They experience freedom for the first time also, but are still trying to figure out who they are. People they come across are their subjects to manipulate and use. To be even more honest, this guide will not help women find a good guy to date, or true love, or anything else in the treasure hunting department. However, here is some information to help you avoid getting attacked by pirates while on your quest. At this age, the best you can do is avoid getting your heart broken, or date-raped. That's about all you can hope for during your teens and early twenties… is to not get date-raped or abused emotionally. It's bleak, but it's the truth. Anything else is a great bonus; clutch it dearly.
Now, not every guy is a serial rapist waiting to pounce on you. The lifestyle of a college male consists of drinking, fucking, and any other form of fun debauchery they can stumble upon. Men (well, some men) grow up the day they get their first job after college, and not a minute sooner. These are not people you want to love. But you can’t very well sit inside your dorm doing nothing all this time, wasting away. So let's make the best of a rotten situation, shall we? Here's a primer on all the different types of guys that you're likely to encounter:

Male Archetypes

“Lets go have a drink” - Frat boys = Date rape. It's never one drink. It's not always the drink you think it is. It is always an attempt at making you lose your wits and do stupid shit you'll regret, for their pleasure/amusement. They will ask any and every girl until someone is dumb enough to give in and get what's coming to them. Life really sucks if you like to drink and believe in the kindness of strangers.
Positive: For Chlamydia, at least. The credit card his parents gave him will pay for everything.
Negative: Personal treatment… and treatment for your warts
Recommendation: If you are by yourself, run.

Artsy tools - You'll run into these messy-haired photographers or acoustic guitar players all over the place. Flashing their craft around to show off their pseudo-depth, in attempt to make them seem different and cultured, despite that they also just want to fuck you. This is the most clever attraction trap for girls to escape from, because these guys are actually interesting sometimes. Their desire isn't malice like the drink-buying frat boys. It’s experience and beauty they crave. Their interest in you may be genuine, but it will only be temporary as their free-spirits cannot commit, and with so many options available to them, why would they turn down lots of pussy, for just one? No matter the quality, the unknown is always more attractive (what do you do first; do you flip through the channels, or read the TV guide? I thought so.). If you want to fuck one of these guys, don't get attached… or herpes.
Positive: Good conversation, new experiences and ideas.
Negative: Cannot be emotionally relied upon.
Recommendation: Know it won’t last and enjoy it while it’s there. Remember that you’re special, but so are lots of other girls.

Nerds - Nerds are the best fuck buddies, once you train them how to do it. They'll always be grateful and can be valuable assets come time for midterms. They're generally decent people, but lack the social skill to be impressive or attractive (some nerds can talk, but are so smart they come off as jerks). Their appearances may be lacking, but everyone looks the same in the dark. Nerds make fine taskforce participants, but unless they've had experience with girls beforehand, they won't know how to please or treat them. They'll just worship, and we know how much women hate that.
Positive: They actually care about making you happy, even if they can’t.
Negative: They can’t.
Recommendation: You can date a nerd if you’re low maintenance.

Jocks - = Date rape. Especially at Duke University. They aren't malicious; just spoiled. They've been coddled and given everything they want. No doesn't mean no to them. It just means you don't approve of what they're doing. Since they don't have to face consequences like normal people, why would they really care? Carry a stun gun around in case you meet these precious creatures.
Positive: They could go pro and have to pay you a king’s ransom for child-support.
Negative: They don’t go pro and you have to pay for their drinking habit.
Recommendation: They can run faster than you. Use trickery to get out of the situation before it’s too late. Try something like “Hey, I think you’re really hot, but I’m having a little herpes outbreak right now. I just thought you should know. Can I call you when it clears up?” That ought to scare them away.

Anarchists - Emotionally scarred. Too smart to be sheep, but not smart enough to solve their pain and hatred. Is it a good idea to love and trust someone who believes the best way for the world to function is with no responsibility or rules whatsoever? You're going to put your vagina and/or heart there? Really? Really…?Positive: “I’ve got a pipe bomb over here!”
Negative: “Smoker!”
Recommendation: “We need to get you a health kit. If you go down like this one more time, you’re dead.”

Pussies - Often, the archetype of The Pussy overlaps with The Nerd, like a LARP mask. Pussies will insist they want to be your friend and get to know you… but they will expect this friendship to grow into something more (unless you’re a boring, vapid whore and/or really fat); at least friends with benefits. They will be hurt when you fuck jerks and pass them over for other guys, after they have done what they perceive as “paying their dues.” After proving they care about you (and they do), they feel entitled to get to be the one who bones you. Well if you wanted pussy, you’d be lesbian. Sucks for them. But if you’re concerned about STDs, this is the safest place to go.
Positive: They actually care about you.
Negative: They want something serious at the wrong time.
Recommendation: Whatever you do, don’t lead them on. Taskforce them, fall for them, or don’t get involved whatsoever.

Military men - Jocks who are too hardcore for normal sports, so they got into war. Good to have around only if you like getting in fights. Although they’re trained to follow orders, they’re also trained to have no emotions and to not speak their mind. Being as sex-starved as someone in the military is, they will fuck anything that moves… or used to move before they shot it.
Positive: Safety
Negative: If this professional killer turns out to be an asshole, no one can help you.
Recommendation: When you need to get railed senseless, make him wrap it twice. Don’t tell him where you live. He may show up anyway, years later, unannounced, having nowhere else to go.

Tortured Souls - People who took The Crow seriously. You are attracted to their depth and wish to fix them, to show them life can be bright and happy. The fact of the matter is, the pain lies within their own minds and your love will be a pleasant distraction, but not the ultimate answer they need to feel at peace with the world. They knew about The Matrix before it ever came out as a movie.
Positive: They’ll dress up as a vampire for you and call you madam, and shit.
Negative: Their outlook on everything. And probable addiction to something.
Recommendation: Don’t try to change them. Make the best of it while you can take it.

Fake Gay Guys - These guys are a real class act. They dress very effeminately or metrosexually to make girls think they are safe to be around. It’s all an act to get more ass… er, pussy. It is beyond shameful that it works so well. Guidos are included in this category. If anyone is a sex offender, it’s a guy like this.
Positive: They will actually enjoy dancing and clubbing with you.
Negative: You’d have to date a politician to find a more untrustworthy, hollow liar. You will meet no decent people when they are around.
Recommendation: If you are attracted to these people in the first place, this is probably the least of your internal deficiencies. Consider joining the military.

Pick-up Artists - They play the “Can I Fuck Her” Game. This is a mental game of conquest many of the cooler looking guys play. It’s not about love, or even sex. It’s about power of manipulation. Ever had a guy you just met that seemed so cool and made you feel special, but never called you again? Yeah, he plays this. You lost the game. They have all sorts of scripts, performances, and acts to portray to entertain groups of both girls and guys, work themselves in, and then prey on the one girl they want to get (often the one they completely ignore at first). Occasionally they even work as a team. For instance, sometimes in a bar, some guy will walk up to you, acting like an asshole. Another guy will come to your rescue and try to play the hero by telling him off, and then being nice to you. You have just met the wingman. The wingman knows the original jerk and it is all a script to play on your emotions, in hopes of later playing in your mouth.
Positive: They’ve read up on how to eat you out and make you cum hard, so they can brag to their friends.
Negative: They have no soul, nor personalities of their own. They fuck even more than military men do and have the highest risk of STDs, despite usually using condoms. They also will lure you with drugs to loosen your better judgment.
Recommendation: Don’t get sucked in by their initial approach. Whatever they say, say you’ve heard it before and then ignore them.

All guys you meet who do not fit into any of these categories should be considered on an individual basis. Nature is wild and untamed. Those who are refined and decent are the true freaks. What kind do you really want, a pre-manufactured stereotype or a real person? Walk up and say hi, make it easy for him to talk to you and see where things go. Part of being a decent guy is having the decency to not walk up to you and hit on you like everyone else, as self-defeating as that is.

Misc. Guidelines for Women

Any guy who approaches you wants to fuck you. It doesn't matter if he only asks for the time or what you're reading. It's a process to get your guard down. The only way to really know if a guy actually likes you is to test his patience. But a test too difficult will discourage even a genuine interest, so don't be too cold or too prudish.

The nicer a guy is to you, the more they secretly expect (or wish for) in return.

The penis has a mind of its own. The man's actual mind must be stronger than his sex drive in order for him to be faithful.

The best way to tell if a man loves you or not, is if he listens to you. The best way to tell if he's being honest is if now and then he'll tell you a hurtful truth.

The dating world is one of multiple interests. It’s not about love and it’s not even about sex. For some, it’s personal validation. It’s about power. It’s about showing off. There are all sorts of things going on, but everyone is in it for one of two things, never both. You’re either loving the chase and quickly bored with the catch, or you tolerate the chase to hopefully love the catch.

People who love the chase are often searching for something inside themselves. Most of the time, they have some insecurity they try to patch by gaining the affection of others. Deep down, everyone just wants to be accepted. Everyone in the chase draws the line differently though. For some, acceptance comes with love and commitment, while others are contented with just seeing titties at some point. What goes into this is a lot different than when you’re looking for love. Everyone calls it the same thing, but it’s not. Instead of getting to know the people you’re chasing, it’s about just getting their attention in any way possible. People show off whatever is best about them, be it their senses of humor, their bodies, or their money (sadly, that’s all some people feel they have to offer). At the same time, if you’re a very social person who is used to having someone new and different to talk to all the time, even a good catch can get boring because it’s simply the same thing over and over. How long can you listen to your favorite song on repeat before you want to hear something else? You don’t love it any less, but you have to move on.

People who are in it for the catch also lack something in their lives. They want someone to complete them. Certain people take life a little more seriously and have goals. They want a companion who complements what they’re trying to do, and makes so many things a little easier. First they locate a target and try to learn about it. Next, they’ll analyze if there are some common interests and directions. Then, they will try to spend time with you to see if working together toward a common goal is possible and to create a bond. When you exchange numbers with people like this, they truly do expect you to call and are hurt if you don’t.

You can tell who is looking for what by what they talk to you about. If someone brings up funny stories all the time and asks absurd personal questions whose answers are aimed at entertainment rather than useful information, this person is interested in the chase. Who you are doesn’t matter at all. What matters is that good times are had right here and now and for as long as you’re in the moment, there are no worries. If the person talking to you is asking personal questions like if you have siblings or what your dream job would be or what you like to do for fun, they’re looking for someone who fits their catch criteria.

What’s more of a confusing contradiction: The way men see women, or the way women see women? Why is it so difficult for women to figure out their roles in this silly society? Is it fair to discredit them for sending mixed signals, when that’s mostly what’s sent to them? At what point does someone transcend his or her sex and just get to be known as a person? Is it as easy as just making the decision?

Men: How is a woman’s heart won? Is this the best game men should be playing?

How has evolving gender equality changed your own personal view of women?

What do you make of the idea that despite being individuals, we still share so many of the same expectations and goals? If we all take such similar actions to pacify the same desires, just where is the individuality… in the wrapping paper?

Women: What do you actually want in a man? How do you foresee that changing over time? If you only are attracted to a certain type of guy, why? What is it about the others that turns you off?

How do you perceive sharing your body sexually? Is it a gift, a privilege, a connection with somebody? Is all that old-fashioned stuff completely obsolete? Is it really better just to have fun and get off? How did you decide your stance on morality?

What needs to happen in order for men to evolve faster into being better companions? Is there any hope at all?

Do you know the difference between love and infatuation? Even when you’re in one of them?

Women: Do you really think a man’s behavior is within your power to control? As if you do this or that, he’ll change or even want to change his behavior, and put you on a pedestal on his priority list? What are the things you try? Have your past failures to change men been due to misguided efforts, the wrong direction you were pushing the men, or possibly a foolish selection of a man in the first place?

What’s truly better, the chase or the catch? Why? Do you think at some point in your existence you’d change your answer? What would have to happen for you to change your answer?

What are you truly and deeply expecting someone else to add to your life that you can’t attain by yourself? Are there any ethics you feel should be in place or should it be a huge free-for-all with no regard to collateral damage of any sort as long as the target is acquired and captured?

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About “A Guide to Growing Up - Level 4 (Bitches and Douchebags)”

Level 4:

The enemy has been spotted. Intercept and detain for questioning… over coffee?