Although there is a great deal written about behavior issues seen in children and teens with FAS disorders, there is not much to be found specifically about sexual acting out and inappropriate sexual behaviors in these individuals. Almost all parents report privately to each other that their children have acted out sexually inappropriately, often starting at early ages, and not being able to "learn" proper behavior while growing up. The behavior is most likely due to the neurological damage to the frontal lobes that control the "executive functions." See the article FAS and the Brain. This is an important issue that needs to be addressed. It is probably under-reported due to parental embarrassment or fear of being judged as "bad parents" or concern over potentially adverse consequences if this behavior is brought to light in the professional's office. It is reasonable to expect to see sexually inappropriate behavior in children and teens with FAS disorders. With a better understanding of the nature of FAS, perhaps we can find more effective ways to cope with this issue and help these young people avoid serious trouble and perhaps assist them in relating to others in socially acceptable ways.

We need to remember that our
FAS kids are trying very hard each
and every day to do good. My son
acts out sexually most when he is
overstressed, overtired or I'm
gone. He can quote the rules,
knows them all, will tell you
afterwards what he did wrong,but
it still doesn't stop him. Last time
he did it from the van to the
house, less than a couple minutes
time. We are in "mom enforced
lock down," and he does know
why, but it doesn't make it any
easier for any of us. --Cathy

*************************

The problem is that sex is a basic
instinct for all mammals. Because
of artificial cultural rules, we try
to control the sex drive by
teaching inhibition. Most of our
socialization is through Thou
shalt not rules. Inhibition and
socialization rules are abstract
concepts, unfortunately, our
FAS/E kids don't do abstract
concepts. Given that there are no
rulesfound to modify our kids
behavior, the result is an
instinctive reaction, that has
legal and social consequences. If
it feels good, do it. If it looks pretty. take it. Even in our
normal controlled nature, sex is
used to sell everything from socks,
to booze to cars to fastening
devices. It is not at all suprising to
find our kids freely expressing
sexual interest. --Bruce

*************************

We have had some sexual
behaviors over the past yr. with
our 13 y.o. fas/e son. The
psychologist said it isn't unusual
for people with neurological
disorders to behave sexually
innapropriatly. That said, our aim is
to keep our son out of
trouble(jail). so here comes 24/7.
He has a full time aid at school. If
we should be able to get respite
( always working on that) post
adoption is trying to get a home
with NO OTHER children.
We do try and talk to him. Notice
TRY.This is a real problem, as we
must protect our child,siblings,
other relatives and society. We
haven't found a way to do all this
yet. Prevention is working,but not
reasoning,so if we let down the
guard of 24/7, we would have
problems again.--Sue

*************************

I am worried about my oldest
daughter, not in the sense that she
will be acting out, but that she will
be very easily persuaded herself.
She is now 12, very attractive and
physically mature ,although
socially and emotionally very
immature and going into high
school in the fall.
My poor son has been humped
and groped (his words,not mine)
by both his older and younger
sisters. Is the damage they do to
the others through sexual
inappropriate, violent,anti-social
and sometimes bizarre behavior
worth the benefits they get
growing up in a family?
I can't possibly supervise them all
24/7. The only place that can
come close, is a group home and I
have worked in several, and even
with staff around the clock, it still
happens there. --Errin

*************************

I have had the same problems with
our son since he became a part of
our family 13 years ago. He was
sexually abused before he came to
us... however,he has had 13 years
of therapy with 18 (? I think- I
have lost count!) therapists.
Because of the impulsiveness, lack
of knowing consequences, and the
hormonal stuff going on -NO
THERAPY WILL WORK FOR
SEXUAL ISSUES! (my opinion)
And I might add, most therapists
THINK they can work out these
issues..I have yet to see it happen.
So 24/7 is the only safeguard I
know. --Mary

*************************

I'm with you on this one Robin,
there's no such thing as 24/7
supervision. Sometimes you have
to sleep. I don't believe these kids
are deviant sexual offenders but
that is exactly how they are treated
if it enters into the legal realm. No
one believes that they could do the
things they do without being
classified as sexually deviant
perpetrators. Therapy has little
effect because they don't want to
behave this way, they just can't
control their impulses. --Alma

*************************

I won't give out names because the hurt that has occurred in my family.
I am now divorced. The children (all 7) last seen their father 4 years ago.
My oldest daughter is 19 and I do not know where she is. I heard she is living with her birth mother. She had my husband charged with sexual abuse and me with all other crimes. Months into the trial she changed her mind but, the social workers called that a "recant" and said only the first story could be considered true.
I have only this year (2001) realized that there is a complication called FAS/E. I now have the comfort of knowing what the next three children do behaviorally is typical but, I am full of great fear as a single parent with it all. --"C"

*************************

If you are a "PhE" (parent having experience" and would like to share your opinion or story here, please send an email with the age and diagnosis of the child, and the name you would like signed here. Write to: Teresa