The "th" wrecks are contagious! The sign at our high school has May 31th listed on it right now. DH drove back around the block last night to make sure it actually said what he thought it did. If a school can't get it right, how can we expect bakeries to do so?

Is anyone mildly concerned about the amount of food dye cake eaters are consuming? The glow-in-the-dark blue on the EO cake and the red roses on the 75th birthday cake should qualify for Brownfields Reclamation funds from the EPA.

#1th: It was supposed to be an 80 and they ran out of cupcakes. since CCCs are usually mortared to the cakeboard with icing, they could not move things around. Look at all the happy balloons! It looks like it's for a kid, not a grown man. And well, as people get into their older years, there's that "regression to childhood" thing. You know, where you really celebrate every year you make it to and you sometimes wet your pants.

2th: is a math problem. He's really 100. they just didn't have the right candle numbers. so it's 75 + 1/4 century (25) = 100. Definitely.

(either that or the 3 on 3/4 is REALLY sloppy)

btw, doesn't this count as an insult cake?

3st: I love how the number is on the SIDE of the cake. That way Dad doesn't have to be self-conscious about his age.

(Convenient that it didn't fit on the cake. He must be having a really small party. Or have cheap kids.)

4rd: The Hello Kitty is for a 12 year old. The wreckerator is dyslexic with numbers. Hello Kitty? for a 21 year old? seems a little too juvenile (sorry HK fans. we're doing benefit of the doubt for wreckerators today!)

5st: very hard to "fix" combed, airbrushed icing. I wonder what was "wrong" before.

6rd: looks like the wreckerator doesn't understand how templates work.

Um...am I the only one who feels the least bit sorry for these poor non-native speakers trying to keep straight all the "st"s and "nd"s "rd"s and "th"s? I mean, if I were trying to write cakes in, say, German, I can't say I'd do much better.

But are you sure that English is not their first language? I am good friends with three high school English teachers and they would be the first to tell about any number of student who could have gotten these wrong. Just saying...

Oh and Anon? I think it means "For The Win." But I am neither young nor hip so I could be wrong.

Please confirm spelling of NAMES. Remember, we are a serious baked goods business. We are NOT Wreckerators. We do not want our cakes to appear on CAKE WRECKS!Take PRIDE in your PENMANSHIP.Do not make URINE yellow icing, poo brown globs on cakes, and never use brown and yellow together! Use a color wheel to coordinate your colors!

Airbrushes and plastic flotsam are to be used with DISCRETION.Be FOND of FONDANT.

Do not attempt a cupcake cake of a round object. Use a cookie or a round cake pan.

We know that right brained, highly creative people tend to be somewhat dyslexic, but even the artistic delivery is wonky, sigh. It all smacks of minimum wage. And the comments are the absolute best with this one. Thanks everyone :-).

I am trying to reconstruct what the wreckerator was thinking when he was writing on the 1/4 century cake. I think he was so impressed by his own math skills cursive writing that he just had to go and throw in a little heart...filled with birdshot down in the right corner because he was so awesome.

Siouxzr said..."I am trying to reconstruct what the wreckerator was thinking..."******Well, you're a brave one, I'll give you that!Personally, I think I'd rather French kiss a light socket than get inside THAT brain. =^~.-^=

" Maybe someone will order a diqua...d cake?"*** That's too funny!(But can we change the "qu" to "ckw"? Because "diquad" could mean two quads, or half of one quad. Depending. (On WHAT, I have no idea.)

The software that came with our scanner at work scans the "1th," "2th," etc. page on multi-page .pdf scans. I thought it was the result of a lazy programmer, but now I think it was a wreckerator who changed careers.

The post was supposed to be from a hypothetical male bakery manager to his hypothetical staff. We have seen many sports blooper cakes, including a lot of WTF ones (like the baseball X, which is probably my favorite). The comment was to poke fun at sports-clueless wreckerators (since we've seen their work). The "manager" blames the "ladies" but I know some guys who are sports-clueless too!

Not all men are sports fans, and not all women aren't. But more men are probably sports fans than women and the "manager" makes this assumption. ("It's not me, baby, honestly!" (Austin Powers ref.))

Most of the post was the "cheat sheet" and note from the Manager/Mangler. Besides, I remember the adorable post by Jen where she merges all kinds of sports lingo into one jumbled post in a self-deprecating "I'm not into sports" kind of way.

So, lighten up, Courtney! I don't have a carrot either ;)

Just read the post again from a "male-chauvinist" manager point of view to his underlings in an awkward attempt at "damage (wreck) control". Why do you think his whole "note to staff" was impeccably spelled? until we got to "Bakery Manglement." The misspeling of Management is to make fun of the Manager too, and to poke fun at wreckerators/wrecks by using a word like "mangle."

@ Beaver Bunch (aka Elizabeth's mum): so, you mean to say that the bakery corrected 2rd with 2th?! Wow, from terd to twoth... I guess they're both related to orifices o.0

@Jo: don't forget no realistic baby cakes. But, there is one problem with a "Pledge of Quality Cake Decoration"-- if too many bakeries and cake decorators sign off on it, we'd all be deprived of daily giggles!

The 75st cake (sorry, just had to do that!): I think someone was using that old "Quarter of a century" joke from when someone turns 25. And the wreckerator was so busy thinking about the line, that they forgot to modify it for the actual age in question.

the 30 cake: Why am I singing "E-I-E-I-O" as I look at it??? Or of the donkey in Winnie the Pooh

As a maths student, I feel I can clear some things up: clearly the first cake is in greek, a lowercase epsilon and omicron. Which is still a wreck, cause no self-respecting mathematician would use an omicron in an equation. It should be a delta, that's much more common with epsilons.

Well, you know, 7 out of 5 people have trouble with fractions.(And that Hello Kitty cake would be cute if they hadn't messed up the inscription.)WV: thympa It thould be thympa to write the correct number on theth caketh.

The Number 1 cake is my fav! My daughter's first cake was shaped like a number one, but hubby was so intent on making straight cuts and layers lining up he didn't notice that the wax paper template was upside-down. He was so embarrassed when he stepped away from it that the only pic is the one of our daughter looking vaguely ill, and the tell-tail tail is conspicuously missing :)

I actually had a friend try to SELL me a CCC the other day XD He mentioned something about ordering cupcakes by sheet cake size and I'm all excited, thinking, "Oh, nice, I can get as many cute, little, individual cupcakes as equivalent to the sheet cake size!" But, oooooh no! As he tries to explain exactly what he means, things start to go south until hitting the fan with "slather buttercream across the tops of all the little suckers...." Sounds delicious, looks like crap, and SOUNDS like it would LOOK LIKE CRAP XD Gotta love the passion!

@ john (the hubby of Jen)Sorry- just got back to reading the new comments and had to LOL at your explanation at 11:37 about what you thought FTW meant. Yes, I was using it as For The Win, but alas I am neither young nor hip (more like old and geeky, but I digress). But I am flattered that you gave me the benefit of the doubt. :)

That "You're Number One" cake is heartbreaking, because it comes so close: "You're" is spelled correctly (a very rare feat on cakes), the lines are straight, the colors aren't disgusting ... but ... Oh, well (as the kids in the picture must be saying to themselves).

@Sand Mama, no one can be 'E0' years old until they hit the ripe old age of 224. Although as a programmer, I think stating ages in hexadecimal on cakes would rock. Someone who is 80 would be '50' for instance.

On second thought, someone who is 79 would be '4F'. Ok, scratch that idea.

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.