Brooklyn Shomrim Involved in Five Graffiti Arrests

If you’re thinking about going on some bombing missions in certain parts of Brooklyn, heed my advice: don’t sleep on the Shomrim posse. They’ll run up on you like some weirdo straight out of the WWE, and they might try to stomp you out as they roll pretty deep.

The Shomrin are a Hasidic sect who patrol their hoods like Guardian Angels on a 40oz of Monster energy drink. Some writers have claimed that they’ve been hospitalized by the group, and they talk greasy about their deeds via social media. The Shomrim crew have been catching local headlines since the 1970s. In three separate instances on June 16, the Shomrim tallied up a total of five “taggers” in the Williamsburg neighborhood. From what we know about last night’s documented events, it appears the Shomrim didn’t put the artist in the hospital, but instead called NYPD Blue to handle the situation. Look out for the Shomrim, as they lurk the streets like bored teenagers, looking to square off with anyone rocking a marker in their pocket.

Run into the wrong writer though, and the boxcutters could slice n dice those gentlemen up. Then again, try your luck with that: no matter how gangsta you are, are YOU prepared to tango with like 85 pissed off Shomrim who will ride on you like they’re straight outta Southside Jamaica, Queens? J-J-J-J-J Jewish unit!

Check out some pictures posted on the Shomrim crew’s Twitter after one of yesterday’s arrests. They even roll with their own ladders, so watch out on those rooftops (we see you, Noodle Cat).