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Wednesday, June 7, 2006

My head is pounding. I have a lot of things going through my head. I wonder if I have migraine or something because the pain is unbearable.

I have a lot of problems and they seem to pile up as the next school semester approaches. I need a fresh start but how can I have a fresh start when I already am carrying a lot of burden on my shoulders?

Speaking of weights, burdens, and baggage… I wish that I could move to another boarding house. I don’t want to move because of the people in my current boarding house because my landlords and board mates are great but I really need to find a place where I won’t be easily distracted. I’m doing all of this for my grades. The QPI requirement that I have to meet up has already become higher since I’m already in AHSE II so I need all the concentration I can get.

It’s really so hot today! The heat and my headache are driving me insane! There is no one I can talk to right now… I’m so sad…

This was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining brightly, the winds brought cool air, and the grass and plants were emerald green. The scene made me at peace. My soul was nourished and I felt great happiness and contentment. It was so peaceful and so quiet… well until this group of guys suddenly came out from nowhere and destroyed the very thing that I searched for, peace and quiet.

I really don’t understand teens these days. Do they have this allergic reaction or extreme hate for silence and tranquility? Is today’s youth so dulled and not to mention dumb-up by rock music or whatever they call the garbage they call music? Is the youth so used to noise that they don’t feel normal in its absence?

I am so disgusted with people who can’t shut up even for once in their life. Why can’t they be considerate enough to lower their voices so that they can’t disturb the people who want to run away from all the chaos in the world through silence?

Meditation and reflection is my way out but how can I find inner peace when stupid loudmouths surround me? Grrr!!!

We all have bones hidden in our closets, secrets that we try so hard to keep. Our secrets may be as old as a day or even as long as a lifetime, but one thing is sure, we never want anyone to dig up our secrets because it can bring embarrassment and can even ruin someone or worse ourselves.

We go through every measure to prevent this secret from being known, some even go to the extreme and may even kill people to protect a secret. But as they say, no secret is ever kept because the truth will always surface sooner or later.

I have a secret. I have been keeping it a secret for a long time. Some secrets are better locked up and buried for they only bring trouble.

Friday, June 2, 2006

Hmm... I wonder wha'ts happening to my posts lately... I seem to be losing my touch. There's really nothing much happening to my life (well except love has won over me again) so I have nothing to post. I can post about my beloved Heaven but I would rather keep Heaven all to myself hehehe...

My blog looks like a mess! It has lyrics, some fragments of my thoughts, links, and some advertisements, hehehe...

But is there really a rule on how to post? I don't think so right? Well, I have to think about my readers (if I have readers that is) but this blog is all about me so I don't really care hehehe... Hahay... I'm really insane... si Heaven kasi... hehehe...

IThere I was, an empty piece of a shellJust minding my own worldWithout even knowing, what love and life were all aboutThen you came,You've brought me out of the shellYou gave the world to me, and beforeI knew it, there I was so in love with you

ChorusYou gave me a reason for my beingAnd I love what I'm feelingYou gave me a meaning to my lifeYes, I've gone beyond existingAnd it all began, when I met you

III love the touch of your hairAnd when I look in your eyes, I just knowI know, I'm on to something goodAnd I'm sure, my love for you will endureYour love light up my world and take all my caresAway where they can't bother me

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge:You taught me how to loveYou showed me how tomorrow and todayMy love, is different from the yesterdayI knew, you taught me to loveAnd darling, I will always cherish you!Today, tomorrow and forever...

And I'm sure, our evening will come aroundI know, we'll be making love, like never beforeMy love, who could asked for more

Hi people! I found a site that offers free storage of your music files, video files, pictures, and etc. It's for free and you are given a 1 GB storage space. If you want to upgrade to a larger memory you already have to pay. It's a great site! It's easy to navigate and you can play your mp3 files with one click of a button, yup it can also serve as a media player. Check it out!

Do you know why I love Angels so much? I've already said in my post that love angels because I want to one. But I never elaborated on the reason why. You see angels are so majestic, they're beautiful. They have so many abilities like healing or casting demons away. But even without those skills, just having wings and standing out is simply amazing. I want to be an angel because I want to feel that I'm special. Maybe as an angel I would forget what I want and be made busy by my obligations as an angel. Vincent rules!

Thursday, June 1, 2006

I hate the words fate and destiny because these are the words that caused my demise. My heart was deeply lacerated; my pride and my dignity stained, and all my hopes and dreams were flushed down the drain. At that moment I thought that it was destiny and fate that lead me to the person I thought I would love and who would love me back. The signs were all there but perhaps I misread all of them and assumed so many things. I don’t want to look back at what happened but I can never run from my past and I know that facing it and thinking over my mistakes would help me from making the same stupid mistake.

I was young, naïve, and so innocent. I was lonely and love sick. I wanted someone who would be there for me, someone who I could share my love to and hopefully be loved in return. I wanted to meet someone, someone special, and someone who would accept me for me. I knew that I should have to meet people to actually find this soul mate of mine. I chatted and actually joined in online groups to meet up with people. I sent some people messages saying that I would want to be friends and know them. I likewise received some messages but unfortunately this all came to a dead end. All hope was lost; I was going to quit when I received an instant message from one of the people I asked to be friends with.

I met with this person one night and I was really taken back because she was everything that I have dreamt of. I couldn’t believe that this was actually happening to me and by then I thought that this was really destined! Why? We were neighbors, we go to the same school, and we even take the same course. Everything was perfect. We were drinking that night and it was then that I completely lost it. This person’s voice was so beautiful that I was just drawn to her. Maybe the alcohol impaired my perceptions and caused me to hallucinate but I swear that this person typed something in her phone asking me if this person could have a place in my heart… I was ecstatic… I felt I was dreaming… and I said yes…

Oh what a foolish person I was. I was mad! I was driven mad caused by the deadly epidemic called love… I was willing to sacrifice everything for this person even my pride. I did everything I can to reach this person and to tell this person how I want to be in this person’s heart too but I was just ignored for some reason I don’t know. I became obsessed. I sent this person e-mails, text messages; I even wait outside this person’s house at night! This went on for 2 months when I finally decided not to make a fool of my self any longer. Where could I have gone wrong?! How could I be so stupid? But I did try to make it clear with this person where we are heading but I never get the right answers.

I was ashamed… I was ashamed of my self… how could I have been so stupid?! But I have to admit that it took as long as a month for me to stop thinking about this person. As I look back, I finally realized that it wasn’t really love. What I loved was not the person because the person was a complete stranger to me. What I loved was the idea of us being together. I do not blame this person for just leaving without any goodbye or explanation. Maybe it was my fault because I was way aggressive and that I assumed so many things because I believe that this person is really the one for me…

But now, I’m faced with a similar situation… but this time I know that my Heaven likes me and I like my heaven too… it just feels right to love my beloved Heaven. But I have to take a chance so that I could find love. I may sound stupid but I feel that if I always hide myself then I wouldn’t be happy in the end. I have to make a move, even if love knocks on the door, you must also allow that love first to enter your heart.

I still don’t believe in fate and destiny because we are the masters of our own destiny. I make mistakes but without these mistakes I will not learn and become the stronger person that I am today.

I can’t believe that I’d fall in love with DNAngel… At first I was only interested in finding a blog template with an angel theme but when I saw Daisukes eyes I instantly fell in love with him, I mean the character. I then googled what DNAngel is about and then I became more interested about the topic.

The art is not only breathtaking but the characters and the plot of the story is perfect! I find my self becoming an anime fanatic once again! DNAngel is just plain cool!

This is one of my favorite Angel related anime... angel Sanctuary. It has a real great plot. What if you fall in love with your sister? And your sister with you? But your actually the reincarnation of an angel trapped in a mortal's body... would you still pursue your love for your sister? Hmm... Which one will you chose? Both of your happiness or pleasing every one else?Vincent rules!

For the people out there, this is not a yaoi (boy x boy) pic. Daisuke (the red haired boy) and Dark-Mousy (Black Winged Angel) are just one person. The red ribbon binding them signifies this. This is a very high level of art that requires logic to correctly interpret the symbolisms used in this picture... I just wonder why Dark-Mousy's right eye is clossed...Vincent rules!