Control (PB version)

Catalyst (Control #2)

Among the Shadows: 13 Stories of Darkness & Light

Friday, May 4, 2012

It's Gonna Eat Me

I'm a wimp and I don't like horror so I need my bloggy friends to hold my hands for this one.

Wait for it...

Wait...

Here it is, the manifestation of my nightmares.

"Girl, you'd look good with some Chianti. Aw yeah."

Oh lordy. I mean, see how that thing eyeballs you? It's going to be the first, carnivorous, person-eating penguin, I'm sure of it. Look at him. He's even shifted his weight, ready to pounce!

Normally, I love me some penguins. They're cute and they swim underwater and there's that fetching waddle, so much more waddlier than a duck's. Heck my publisher is going to be Penguin! But this thing? This is too much.

My kids got it as a gift. It came in this egg, and you're supposed to soak the egg in water until the egg cracks, and whammo, this little penguin hatches out of the shell. Cute, right?

Well, no. First, the egg cracked. Then all this white, glutinous snot came pouring out the crack. Once the penguin was birthed, it was covered in more snot. Guess who got the job of washing it off?

Indeed, 'twas me.

And now, my littlest one won't let me dispose of it. I keep it in this soy sauce dish because honestly, I don't want it to touch my home directly. I think it's going to give jelly-penguin-cooties to my lovely house. In fact, I may even have to permanently retire the soy sauce dish because it's been tainted by this snot-infested toy.

When I attempted this picture, it tumbled out of the dish and hit my foot, all porous and squishy (and STILL covered in the mysterious gloop.) You should have hear me.

"DON'T LET IT TOUCH ME! AHHHH! BY GOD, DON'T LET IT TOUCH ME!"

Anyway. There is no real point to this post, except to say thank you for sharing in my toy horror. Normally I stick to writing related blog posts, but how can I write when this monstrosity is scheming to feast on my vitreous humor whilst I sleep?

Haha...makes you wonder what some toy makers are thinking: FREAK OUT THE PARENTS. My kids were given this furry, hairy, ugly wormy thing one time. It totally wigged me out. Then one day, the thing mysteriously disappeared. Shh...

I'm with Connie on those demonic looking monkeys. And I don't know how kids 100 years ago didn't have nightmares all the time with their scary looking dolls watching them. They also look demonic. *shudders*

No toys that gave me nightmares, but my parents mysteriously lost the copy of "E.T." my grandparents gave me when I was a kid, because of how many nightmares I got from it (seriously, my older sister got "Little Women." I, three years younger and notorious for my nightmares, got the movie about the freaky-looking alien. WHAT were my grandparents thinking?).

Bahahahaha! Oh...that's creepy indeed. I imagine the goo eruption made it even worse. Glad I didn't see that...Ugh. I'm laughing at Louis up there too because E.T. is my worst nightmare. Creepy little alien mo.fo...

Wow, that is one creepy penguin. I never had a toy myself that freaked me out, but my brother's ventriloquist dummy was pretty freaky. Oh, he wasn't that bad during the day, but at night... in the dark... when the moonlight would hit his face just right... :shudder:

Ha. I didn't take you as the squirmy type. LOL. Aren't you, like, a doctor? I thought snot was in the job description. LMAO. Sorry, I just had to go there. Life-like dolls freak me out. My grandma used to have them all over her house. Freaky.

Lydia, frankly I don't like the way it's looking at me. Snot or not. It has kind of freaky Charles Manson eyes.I'm with @Shelly. I'd distract my son with a new robot and trash it once the glop came out.

Ugh, that is totally creepy (and gross!). My baby niece has this broken doll who, when you press her stomach, sounds like a drunken clown. I have no idea what it's saying, but it freaks everyone out, including my niece.

Okay, that thing is just gross. The cymbal banging monkeys are creepy. For me it was a Howdy Doody puppet (yeah, I'm really old). It had a wooden head with a movable, sting operated jaw. If I dropped it, the jaw would slip out of place and stick way out. The sight of it with the jaw out scared me to death.

The scariest one I've seen is on that USPS commercial. The evil little clown that the family wants out of the house now!

I'm launching a new look for my blog, Lydia and must capture the birth of this penguin from IckVille on pictures. You'll understand when you see the new look. PLEASE DM me @gloriawrites with the info on where I can find one of these...

Urgh you are right - it is the most repulsive gift I ever saw except for the gift one of my kids received of a teddy bear that had been put in a calcifying spring so looked as if it was fossilised. I got her to throw it straight in the bin

Alf really freaked me out...both the show, and the stuffed Alf my grandma got me for Christmas, i stuffed him in the bottom of my closet and pushed my clothes hamper in front of the door so he wouldn't exact his revenge. *shivers*

Hilarious!!! But then, I'm not the one with the glutinous devil penguin leering at me from a dish. I'm with Alex--I'd put this thing outside. The only way it could be worse, is if it was a clown. *cringes as she considers the horror of clowns*

Furbies used to freak me out a lot! I had a purple one when I was little, and when I held it upside down it would make this little sound "Furrrrby." I was totally convinced this little dude was haunting me at night so I stuffed it to the bottom of my toy box and forgot all about it. Eh, until now...

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