Talking to your children

The more you can help them understand what's happening and why,
the easier it will be for them to adjust.

Explain the fact of your separation so that they understand
the changes that are taking place (you don't have to give
detailed reasons).

Reassure them that your separation does not alter the fact
that you both love them and will continue to be their
parents.

Don't criticise or blame the other parent.

Take time to explore how they're feeling and what they think
about the changes taking place.

Keep your promises. Your children need to be able to trust
and rely on you. This is very important right now.

Reassure them that they are not to blame for your
separation.

Try to show a united front to your children and assure them
that you both want what's best for them.

Texts, emails and social media

If you can talk to your children about important matters
face-to-face, over the phone or by video call, it's easier to get a
sense of how what you're saying is affecting them – and vice
versa.

Text messages and emails are quick to create and send but can be
easily misunderstood and may be read by people they're not intended
for.

Take care when communicating via social media too (Facebook,
Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat
etc.). Unless you use a closed group
or 'personal' or 'private' messaging, other people in your
children's social circle may be able to see your conversation.