"You shouldn't be here, old man.", he snapped. "This is no place for an old man."

The old man ignored him.

Your editing loses a lot of the impact from the full version of that scene:

"You shouldn't be here, old man.", he snapped. "This is no place for an old man."
The old man ignored him.
"Are you deaf as well as old?", snapped Solo.
"He did well.", mused the old man. "If only I had had more time to teach him. If only he wasn't hell bent on revenge."
"What the hell are you mumbling about?", snapped Solo, grabbing the old man's arm. "Now come on, get out of here!"
The old man shot him an icy stare.
"Never do that again, young man!"
The old man snatched his arm away, and began to walk on

It's not very good but without criticising it line for line I'm just going to leave you with my favourite couple of lines. It's a beauty which shows just how to calm down a girl who thinks she's being stalked.

“No, he was just standing there, it was so scary”
“lets forget about it now, I’ve cooked your favourite meal, a big roast chicken”

I think you show a lot of potential, keep writing and improving. You'll get there.

Wanna be a baller, shot caller
Twenty inch blades on the Impala
A caller gettin laid tonight
Swisher rolled tight, gotta sprayed by Ike
I hit the HIIIGHWAY, making money the FLYYYY WAY
But there's got to be a BETTER WAYY!
A better way, better way, YEAH-AHHHHfollow me on Twitter

Wanna be a baller, shot caller
Twenty inch blades on the Impala
A caller gettin laid tonight
Swisher rolled tight, gotta sprayed by Ike
I hit the HIIIGHWAY, making money the FLYYYY WAY
But there's got to be a BETTER WAYY!
A better way, better way, YEAH-AHHHHfollow me on Twitter

The droned leaned over the desk. He pointed his finger at the woman’s head, his finger turned into a spike, and the spike pierced her head.

Even superheroes get sick.

“Where’s Mr. X?”

“He’s been laid low by that damn flu bug.” Chameleon replied. “What with Jim away on leave, we’re very short staffed at the moment.”

Alien anatomy is different to ours.

The body of a Ferengi diplomat had been found. He had been stabbed through the heard.

Much of a muchness.

“Have you any garlic, Mr. Dones?” he asked.

“Not much.” said Dones. “Mina doesn’t like it that much.”

Beats falling into one of those shiny new-fangled alleys.

Another day passed. Watt was very angry. HE was flying at super-speed over London, trying to burn off some of his anger. As he neared full speed, he hit what seemed to be an invisible barrier. Watt had never encountered anything like this before. Quickly, he fell to the ground. He landed in an old alley.

The chaos slight confusion of battle.

Shango turned around again, and this time, was hit squarely on the jaw. He was slightly confused, because no one was standing in front of him.

Dramatic irony.

"And look at that cane!", added Chameleon. "It's surging with energy!"
Then Magus pointed the cane at Supremus.

“You fool!", he sneered. "Have you energy back!"

Did Norris McWhirter verify this??

Death Angel leapt toward Watt, and when he was close, he managed to wrap his huge, feathery wings around him.

“The strongest wings in the world.” said Death Angel. “You will suffocate in two minutes!”

Even wizards need to keep up with things innit.

The wizard smiled. From his robes Saruman produced a copy of The Times.