The Legend of Kim Jong-un

We love the The "Democratic People's Republic" of Korea, not for its inhumane actions. No, we love it for its propaganda machine. It really is one of the best comedy writing staffs on the planet. North Koreans may be oppressed and starving, but there is no way they actually believe that Kim Jong-il aced 11 out of 18 holes the first, or any time that he golfed. They also don't believe that he never ever ever, not even once... took a dump.

But they do believe that they will be beaten to a pulp for not grieving Dear Leader's passing like a Maury Povich guest who can't find her baby's daddy, after being one million and one percent certain.

Which brings us to the new man in charge, Kim Jong-un... a chip off the old block. His birth was heralded by a double rainbow, all the way no doubt. As a toddler he was winning dirt rally races at average speeds of 75 mph!

Nice try North Korea. Is that the best you can come up with for Lil' Kim legends? We understand. It's only been a couple of weeks since the big change in "leadership"... lucky for you Comedy Whirled is here to help you build a legend.

Kim Jong-un:

At age 11, won the Boston Marathon with a record time of 026:20

Has never not bowled a perfect game. That's right, Big-un is above the law!

Cured AIDS, but only for Magic Johnson.

Inventor of the McRib. Only a true legend could create something prior to his birth. Just like daddy, who created hamburgers.

Please feel free to add your own KJU legends in the comment section. The best one will win a Comedy Whirled T-Shirt sometime next month, depending on when pay days fall. So, probably March. Give us a break, running in the red ain't easy.