My name is Orny and this is my blog. You may know me as a stand-up comedian and now you can know me better through my writing. (Please excuse all spelling and grammatically errors-- a man who is
his own editor has a fool for a client.)

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Hanes brands has dropped Charlie Sheen because of domestic violence charges filed against the actor. The headline should read: "Wife beater no longer to endorse wife beater."

(Somebody give that one to Leno.)

(If my mom is reading this, a "wife beater" is slang for those skin tight white tank tops you see a lot of rappers and wife beaters wearing.)

Hanes should've dumped Sheen after that one ad with him begging Michael Jordan to hang out with him. Any actor of his recognizability should never do an ad that ends with him throwing his phone into Jordan's car saying, "Call me." He should know better than to recycle a once popular and overused expression from THE LAST DECADE!

In 2010 I would like to see never said again: Call me. Check please. (Person talking about a person behind their back then they get slightly nervous and say) He/she is right behind me right? I'm sure there are many more, but it's early and my brain is not working yet.

I would like to see the end of beer commercials were the guys love their beer more than their wives. If you have never been married, like me, if you believed beer commercials-- you would think that every guy spends all weekend plotting ways to sneak away from his wife and drink beer with the guys. Is it really like that? None of my friends are like that. They wouldn’t ever dare try and sneak away from their wives.

There is one very clever and funny beer ad-- in my opinion-- the one where the girls are getting a tour of the house and see her huge closet and go nuts screaming. Only to stop because they hear louder screams coming from the guys who discover his beer closet. It’s a great ad and I still couldn’t tell you what beer it’s for.

If you can think of more hacky ad stuff-- post them here. I'm sure I will think of more. And if you disagree with me-- don't call me.