Sunday, January 25, 2009

January 23, 1939

My mother would have been 70 last Friday. This knowledge nibbled at my consciousness all week. I got a couple of calls from her friends, one of whom has a key to her house and called me from there, so when I looked at my cell to see who it was, it came up "Mom," since I haven't deleted her number. It was a sweet gesture, but kind of creepy too. It's nice to see how missed Mom is, but it also makes me wonder why she didn't want to stick around longer. There are so many people who loved her. Of course, some of these are the same people who fully supported her in not treating her cancer, so I guess it cuts both ways.NSA and I are probably going to Alaska this summer, to take care of some things that really can't be handled remotely. I'm not sure how long we'll be there, but long enough that I'll most likely have to leave this job, which is perfectly fine with me. I think I'm overdue for a career change.

4 comments:

You never quite get over the loss of a parent I think, even though we know it is ineviteable. Sometimes it causes a person to change. The loss of my father last year, was pivotal for me in many ways. Its like I stopped making excuses and started to bring myself to a new level.

If you have to leave your job, then it is likely that another door is waiting to be opened. Keep your mind open to new things that may not be the norm for you, something unexpected may somehow lead you somewhere else.

I still post new songs and press to my fathers facebook page. I notice his wife doesn't seem in a hurry to delete his account. For some reason, I like to know it is still there.

I can't really imagine losing my mom. I still think about my grandma almost everyday and she has been gone since 1993. I am happy that she went the way she wanted, in her own home. She never wanted to end up in a nursing home. Only my oldest 2 kids remember her but I tell the girls all about her.

It's kind of funny that she always wanted a grand-daughter named Katie. She was convinced that William would be her little Katie. I had not really considered the name until I was pregnant with Katie. Katie is the one that looks like her. She also has the same wit that my grandma did.

Those little (big) reminders come up and bite you in the ass sometimes, don't they? You'll be going about your business one day, thinking about A or B or C, when all of a sudden...you see an anniversary on your calendar or an acquaintance tells a story that's parallel to yours, and it all comes back to slap you in the face again. I haven't yet lost a parent, thankfully yet, but I'm wary of it happening, and leaving me to be the adult.