Darlene should do lunch with Dina!

Darlene should do lunch with Dina!

Because Heidi Montag loves pissing off her creators (Dr. Ryan, anyone?), Heidi’s mom Darlene Egelhoff has decided to trash talk her daughter on her personal blog, displaying the kind of parenting that would make your child marry an albino douchebag, then pay thousands of dollars to turn herself into D-List pornstar Barbie.

“Heidi was so unbelievably cute and such an equal part of our family, all but the last year, that without her our history is incomplete,” her mother wrote. “She is a part of our family whether she acts like it at this time or not. If you don’t like it Heids, call me, lets work it out, otherwise too bad. I’m the mother; it’s time you showed a little respect. I have made mistakes but none that warrant completely shunning your entire family as a result. If you want to receive grace you must give grace.” SOURCE

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but … I’m siding with Heidi (oh look, the fabric of the space-time continuum just tore itself open. Dammit!) Clearly, it’s nothing short of a miracle that she can walk the street without suffocating, since she probably has barely enough brain cells to walk and breathe simultaneously. If you cannot raise your daughter to say no to ten simultaneous plastic surgeries, you have failed as a mother.