2.28.2007

Gah! Can you even handle how damn cute Patrick Dempsey looks with his twin sons, Sullivan Patrick and Darby Galenon in this week's issue People magazine? Funny, because his pose with the babies is very reminiscent of the "mommy pose" Diddy had with his twins on the cover of Hello! Magazine when they were born. If that wasn't adorable enough, just take a look at Patrick's 5 year old daughter Talulah popping up in that last picture.Read all about Patrick & Jillian Dempsey's new additions to their family in the new issue of People on newsstands now and at People.com.

Thankfully, a Florida appeals court told VergieArthur to take a hike and has upheld an earlier decision saying that Richard Milstein (Dannielynn's court appointed guardian) has control over where Anna Nicole Smith's body will be buried. Milstein wants Anna Nicole Smith's body to be buried alongside her son Daniel in the Bahamas and it looks like it will now end up that way. I am sure Vergie's attorney's may file another appeal, but word is her chances for success at that are not good.

I am sure Vergie is pissed, shedding her crocodile tears and trying to find another way to hold up Anna Nicole from being buried even longer. Give it up Vergie and let your daughter be buried please. Man, it's a shame the woman didn't put the same effort into being a good mother to Anna Nicole while she was still alive, huh? Anna Nicole once said in an Entertainment Tonight interview that her mom was always jealous of her, so I bet Vergie gets some sick pleasure knowing her daughter is turning green in the medical examiners office instead of being laid to rest while she is still beautiful. Sorry to be so harsh, but to let her daughter's body rot shows she ain't a nice woman. As much as I wish this was the last we were going to hear from Vergie, word is she plans on going for guardianship/custody of Dannielynn, no matter who the father is. This woman should burn in hell and I bet Anna Nicole would take a special trip down there to light the freakin' match.

Dannielynn Hope's court appointed lawyer told the court that Anna Nicole's funeral is scheduled for 10:300am Friday in the Bahamas.Read more about the appeals court decision HERE.

Grrr Arg. This week's issue of the National Enquirer has that horrible photo of Britney Spears that was snapped by that particular evil, stalker, paparazzi group. Personally, I am glad she bashed in their f'ing car and I wish she would have bashed their heads too for stalking her. It's funny how they essentially drove her to that rage but then claim to be concerned for her well being. Celebrities should start getting restraining orders on paparazzi photo agencies, because it has gone too far.Cover photo provided by National Enquirer.

Although toxicology results and cause of death have not been officially announced in death of Anna Nicole Smith, the National Enquirer is reporting that a horrible case of pneumonia did her in.

The Enquirer reports:"Preliminary findings reveal that tests performed during the autopsy show Anna Nicole had a severe case of pneumonia. Prescription drugs that she had taken made the condition worse and did play a role in her death. The full toxicology report has not yet been completed. Sources very close to the death investigation told The ENQUIRER that the prescription drugs masked the seriousness of her pneumonia. Anna Nicole had previously been hospitalized for pneumonia in the Bahamas after her son died. This time, the painkillers Anna Nicole was taking masked her symptoms and quickened the deadly effects of the pneumonia." More details about this appear in the latest issue of The Enquirer.

Considering Anna Nicole had a 105 degree fever the day she died, this news is not surprising. That kind of fever is never normal. The saddest part of it is that I saw Anna's bodyguard Moe on a couple interviews and he said they wanted to take her to the hospital earlier because of the fever, but didn't when Anna begged them not to. Word is she didn't want to deal with the publicity. How ironic.

2.27.2007

This week's episode begins with new buddies Audrina and Lauren making food and talking again about Spencer and Heidi. Audrina is shocked to hear that the two of them already say "I love you" and thinks that Heidi is making the same stupid mistake she did with Jordan. Lauren is upset because Heidi now only spends about 2 days a month at their apartment and she basically has to reserve a "Lauren and Heidi" day with her when, as Lauren puts it, "every day used to be a Lauren and Heidi day." Oh tears.

Next up, Heidi and two-toned Jen are shopping on Robertson, which is weird because two-toned Jen is supposed to be Lauren's friend. Huh. Two two-toned Jen is kissing so much Heidi ass, her face is even browner than usual. As the girls are shopping, two-toned Jen asks Heidi if she thinks Lauren will be mad if she hangs out with her and Spencer. Heidi tells two-toned Jen that in no uncertain terms Lauren does not control her life and two-toned Jen is like, "oh yeah, yeah, Heidi, Lauren does not control my life! I control my life!" Then she's like, "oh can we please go out on a double date?" and the bitch ass has the nerve to ask Heidi to fix her up with Brody Jenner! Lets not forget that Lauren had been seeing camera whore Brody off and on. Two-toned Jen is such a freakin' Lauren wanna be, she makes me ill. She then feigns concern that Lauren might be upset with her about the situation and ultimately decides that hooking up with Brody is more important than her friendship with Lauren.

Over at Teen Vogue, Lauren and Whitney are chatting and Lauren announces that it's two-toned Jen's 21st birthday. Lauren says she is so excited to celebrate it because they have been best friends since the 3rd grade. Okay, hold up. Who ever knew these two were best friends? I thought Lo was her BFF during the Laguna Beach years and then came along ding-bat Heidi? Oh well, so much for that BFFcuz two-toned Jen is already trying to dopplegang Lauren and steal her man! Lauren mentions that they are all going out to dinner and sticks her tongue out with disgust when mentioning that two-toned Jen invited Spencer. She then adds, "the only thing good about when Spencer goes is that he brings Brody." Uh oh.

UGH. Next cap-toothed Spencer and Brody are driving along in Brody's car as Spencer is talking about "Star Tours." Last week, reader lvgurl pointed out that Spencer sounded like a "poor man's Matthew McConnaughey" You nailed it lvgurl, but I passed your message on to Matthew and he was extremely offended at the comparison. Anyway, after Spencer says how he thinks he would have an excellent career doing Star Maps (don't give up the dream buddy, your time may come soon), he mentions to Brody how every time he sees a cute girl his brain automatically goes to hit on her, but he then has to hit himself in the head to remind himself he has a girlfriend. What a douche. Then Spencer starts telling Brody since he has a bitch, Brody must now find a bitch so they can double date. Spencer then mentions two-toned Jen's birthday party and Brody says how much he likes her and thinks she is a "cutie pie." I'm sorry, but who the hellz has he been looking at? Spencer tells Brody that he should "mack two-toned Jen" and then makes some weird comment like, "that's how you gotta get in the back door." Huh?! And with that, the boys drive off with a chuckle.

That night, all the girls hit the town for two-toned Jen's 21st birthday dinner at Geisha House. Lauren makes a lovely toast for the birthday girl where she says all these nice things about TTJ (sorry I'm tired of writing the whole thing out) being one of her oldest friends in the world, someone who has always been there for her and also thanks her for a decade of friendship. TTJ of course has to try and top Lauren with her stupid little comments she has been torturing us with since her occasional appearances on Laguna Beach and adds, "No, see, there is friends and then there is best friends, such a different thing." Uh, yeah, thanks for the words of wisdom TTJ. Then Lauren and Heidi give her their birthday present which is a silver bracelet with a diamond martini glass charm. TTJ cannot believe that Lauren gave her real diamonds and Lauren's like "Um, hello ... I'm not going to give you fake diamonds on your birthday!" TTJ, who in addition to trying to steal her "best friends" crush, cannot seem to grasp this concept because she obviously does all her birthday gift shopping at Charlotte Russe. After that, the girls exchange love and hugs all around. Lauren then mentions how excited she is to go to Les Deux later and that she feels like it's going to be a good night. TTJ, being the sneaky, slimy, snake who was just given a bracelet with diamonds, leans over and asks Heidi if Brody is going to be at Les Deux. When she finds out that Brody will be at Les Deux, TTJ cannot hide her glee and says to Heidi, "Too bad he hooked up with my best friend, but oh well!" As this is going on, it's unclear if Lauren can hear what they are talking about or is just innocently staring into space while her 'best friends' are stabbing her in the back. Heidi and TTJ decide to run to the bathroom and as the two of them are in a stall probably doing coke, Heidi tells TTJ, "He loves you, loves you, loves you! He wants macking asap!" TTJ then says something like, "oh my god. really, like when? like last week? like a long, long, time ago? oh my god, can I blow him too?" Okay, maybe I embellished that last line, but you know she was thinking that. After that whole nonsense, the two of them cheer together and have a round of "happy freakin' birthday!" chants in the bathroom stall. Bitches.

It's off to Les Deux and all it is is a bunch of hollering and Heidi's loud mouth screaming "Happy Birthday Jen!" and crap like that inside the club. Brody is hanging out with everyone and TTJ starts snuggling up with him for pictures. Spencer is like, "yeah, dude! that picture is going up on MySpace!" What a freakin' tool. Then this really weird moment happens when TTJ starts to worry about her "potential" hook up with Brody and starts telling him how she is worried Lauren will be mad at her. Brody doesn't understand what TTJ is talking about and when he asks her to explain what she means, TTJ, assuming way to much in my opinion, says, "you." At that point, Brody seems to realize he is talking to a crazy chick and gets up to walk away saying, "that is drama I don't want to deal with." TTJ starts yelling after him, "It's not drama! It's not drama!!!" Ha, ha TTJ. Later that night after more annoying birthday commotion, TTJ ends up next to Brody, Spencer and Heidi. TTJ suddenly blurts out, "let's go to Brody's condo! weee!" The four of them take off from the party without saying goodbye to Lauren. The saddest part of it is that all this happened while Lauren was looking for TTJ and telling Audrina she couldn't leave the club without her. TTJ on the otherhand was probably just worried about how quickly she could get Brody's pants off.

The next day over at Teen Vogue, Lauren and Whitney have the daunting task of arranging flowers on a table. As Lauren is trying her best not to have flashbacks of intern Emily Perfect, she tells Whitney how TTJ called her up the night before and asked her if she would mind if she hooked up with Brody. At the near mention of this, Whitney was completely shocked by the audacity of TTJ and of course, supported Lauren. Lauren said that TTJ tried to blame her wanting to hook up with Brody on Spencer pushing for them to hook up. Huh, so much for TTJcontrolling her own life. Lauren wonders out loud if it is really worth "screwing over a friend" for "that guy." No Lauren, but TTJ is still a bitch and you should dump her.

The next day, Audrina is at work and she is blabbing all the TTJ/Brody/Lauren gossip to some intern who will probably go out and sell the story to The Enquirer. Audrina lets it be known that TTJ and Brody did hook up and both girls agree that Heidi and Jen are both shitty friends. Audrina thinks that Spencer is brainwashing everyone and can't believe how royally f&*k'd-over Lauren is getting by her supposed "best friends." Lauren is still at Teen Vogue and as she continues to complain to Whitney about her crappy friends, TTJ calls her! TTJ must have been on the other end of the line blabbing more of her stupid excuses and Lauren tells her, "TTJ, you and Heidi both act like you did nothing wrong. You did a really cut-throat thing and so did Heidi, so you both need to stop putting it on each other and stop make it seem like I'm making drama. I would expect it from someone I didn't know, but not my oldest friend." Booyah! She then tells TTJ it's really cold to take Lauren's used up meat and to stop making excuses and that she should just say she made a mistake and apologize. At this point, I am so glad we don't have to hear TTJ's annoying voice on the other end of the phone because whatever she said pissed Lauren the hell off and she says sarcastically, "You sounded super sorry. Seriously TTJ! Don't be at my apartment when I get home!" Lauren then makes a little grunting sound as she throws her blackberry on the floor. When TTJ tries to call her back, Lauren refuses to answer the phone.

Later at the Hillside Villas, Lauren is on her laptop probably reading a Tabloid Whore recap of The Hills when Heidi walks in. Right off the bat, Heidi starts trying to defend herself and lies through her teeth telling Lauren she had nothing to do with TTJ and Brody hooking up. Lauren tells Heidi that if things continue the way they have been, she doesn't want to live there anymore and they can't be friends. As the girls argue back and forth, they both agree that something has to change if they want to save their friendship. Lauren tells Heidi that she has basically become a brainwashed, pathetic, used up puppy dog since she started dating Spencer. When Heidi starts to defend him, Lauren is infuriated and starts yelling about the stuff he pulled trying to hook up Brody and Jen. She then slams down her phone and yells, "HE IS A SUCKY PERSON! HE'S A SUCKY PERSON!!" Heidi is not please that Lauren is telling the world her boyfriend sucks and as she tries to hush her, Lauren continues, "I HATE Spencer, I am never going to like Spencer! He did a really messed up thing last night! I know that he pushed and Jen Brody together!" Lauren is besides herself at this point and just can't deal with these crappy friends anymore. With tears rolling down her face, Lauren tells Heidi how she hasn't felt so betrayed by two best friends in forever and their friendship will never be the same until Heidi and Spencer break-up. AMEN.

Larry Birkhead, Anna Nicole Smith's former boyfriend has reportedly finally been able to meet the daughter he is claiming as his own. Birkhead did a sit down interview with Access Hollywood (that begins airing Tuesday) and said that during the meeting with Dannielynn, which is said to have taken place this past weekend, Birkhead fed her, burped her and then she threw up all over him. Aww, nothing like being a parent. Birkhead also tells Access Hollywood that he found out about Anna Nicole being found unresponsive when he was watching TV in the dentist chair with a half-numb mouth. Ugh, poor guy. One can only hope this paternity mess with Howard K. Stern will be sorted out sooner than later. Although his lawyer sounds like a truck driver and she annoys the hell out of me, Birkhead really does seem like a decent fellow. I wont lie, yeah, he's kind of cute too.

2.26.2007

UPDATE: Oh good Lord! Now TMZ is saying that a Florida appeals court issued a stay and that Anna Nicole's body cannot be moved from the Bahamas, just yet! WTF? That poor woman is rotting in a fridge! Vergie, you are selfish and evil!! Read here.

Original post:

Thank the sweet baby Jesus. The appeal Anna Nicole Smith's mother, Vergie Arthur, filed to get control of her daughter's body has been officially denied. TMZ reports that judge Seidlin made the decision Monday morning. Vergie filed the appeal because she was not happy with Seidlin's decision last week giving custody of Anna Nicole's remains to the guardian of Anna's baby, Dannilynne Hope, nor the fact that Anna would now be buried in the Bahamas with her son Daniel. Instead of letting her daughter have a proper funeral and burial, Vergie wanted to hold up the proceedings indefinitely while she continued to fight to have Anna Nicole's body brought to Texas for burial, all why her daughter lay decomposing in the medical examiners office. Thankfully, the judge made the right decision and now, Anna Nicole Smith can be laid to rest where she had wished. Sorry Vergie, sucks to be you!

Sorry, no scandal here (but don't we all need a break from it?), just Halle Berry looking gorgeous and happy inside the pages of the Canadian edition of Hello! Magazine. After what Halle has gone through with all those jerky ex-husbands, boyfriends, etc., it's so nice to finally see her happy again and with an ultra hunky guy for that matter. Now, if only the press would get off her back with all those questions about having a baby!

It was announced on American Idol last night that a bunch of guests would be visiting the show this season. Most notably, Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Lopez and Diana Ross. Other's include: Jon Bon Jovi, Martina McBride, Barry Gibb and '60s stars Lulu and Peter Noone from Herman's Hermits. It's good that the show is trying to mix things up this season, but it was unclear if the guests will appear as guest judges or just be there to perform and "mentor the kids" over the week. I'm hoping they will at least be part of doing the judging, because watching a celebrity try to do criticism but still be nice is so entertaining. Anyway, I am most looking forward to seeing Gwen Stefani. Jennifer Lopez, I'm not the biggest fan of her music, but am definitely obsessed with all her romantic comedy movies, so that will be cool too. Lastly, I'm just hoping Diana Ross will do something nutty and hopefully show up drunk.

To be honest, unlike previous years, I am really not into Idol yet. Maybe it's because I've only watched it in bits and pieces. So far I haven't seen anyone that grabs my interest like Chris Daughtry, Bo Bice or Constantine. Is it just me, or does Idol really suck this season? If not, let me know who your favorite is so I can keep a look out for them.

2.22.2007

ON FLASHING DAVID LETTERMAN ON NATIONAL TV…“I’m thrilled I did that, but no way would I do it now. Man, I was such a sexual, free, fucking nudist little bird running around. I love it. I’m still sensual, but I’m much more modest now. But I think I’ll always be a bit of a wood nymph when it comes to sexuality. It’s like, ‘Fuck it, be free and have the most fun you can.’ ”

ON BEING THE GODMOTHER OF FRANCES COBAIN, DAUGHTER OF COURTNEY LOVE AND KURT COBAIN…“Courtney and I have not seen each other in a while, so I haven’t had the pleasure of being in Frances’ life for a few years. That’s a great loss for me, and I hope to reconnect with her.”

ON POLITICS…“I wasn’t raised in a household that talked about politics…I’m a Democrat and a liberal but I will vote Republican if I think it’s for the better candidate. There are Republicans out there I really respect.”

ON HER UNSTABLE FAMILY LIFE…“I’ve got one wacky family…I understood early that we were not going to have stability. You just have to find your own way and not sit in shit and cry about what you think you don’t have. Get over it.”

Wow, wow. It was a big day today in the court proceedings over where Anna Nicole Smith's body will be buried. The court surprised everyone when a decision was made today instead of tomorrow morning as planned. Long story short, Anna Nicole Smith will be buried where she belongs, alongside her son Daniel in the Bahamas. Thank God that is how it went down and that Vergie Arthur didn't get the power to bring Anna Nicole to Texas for burial, not to mention, dig up Daniel's body and ship him there too, like she wanted. Of course, she has appealed the decision, but I am sure it will be shot down with rockets. What a bitch. In Vergie's world, no matter what Anna Nicole wanted, it's still all about Vergie.

TMZ has some really emotional video of when the judge made his announcement in court. Watch HERE.Rest in peace Anna.

2.21.2007

Gah! Rachael Ray is the latest celebrity to have a creepy wax statue made of her at Madame Tussauds. The creature was unveiled Wednesday in New York and Rachael was there to join the fun. Her wax doppelganger stands in a replica of the kitchen featured on her television show and fans can go and take pictures alongside waxy Ray. The thing that freaks me out about these things is that the freakin' statues eyes are always looking in different directions in each picture. I'm telling you, it's like a bad nightmare! When the lights go off at night at Madame Tussauds, I bet those wax statues are running around like zombies all over that place. You couldn't pay me to spend the night there. They're alive, I tell you! They're alive!Source: ONTD , City Guide

UPDATE: Due to Britney Spears entering rehab for the third time, Kevin Federline and his lawyer have called off the hearing for now. Read more about this over at TMZ.

Reports are surfacing that Kevin Federline and his lawyer are set to appear Thursday at an emergency hearing in family law court. It is not known why Kevin is set to go in front of the judge, or if Britney will make a surprise appearance now that she has bailed on rehab for the second time. Allan Parachini, a spokesman for the Superior Court said, "Our best information is he will be here; she won't." He then added, "But anything is possible."

One can only hope Kevin is taking steps to get custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James immediately (Yes, I actually mean that). When they first split, I said right here, "there is no way Federline will get those kids!" Now, I will eat my words. I don't care how many nannies those children have taking care of them while Britney is out getting drunk, allegedly screwing this guy and that guy, shaving her head and popping in and out of rehab- those boys need at least one of their parents in a healthy place and with them right now. I still have sympathy for our dear Brit, but I draw the line when it comes to proper care for those boys. The "she has nannies!" excuse can only save her for so long. Kevin endured harsh criticism throughout his relationship with Britney, the press was absolutely horrible to him. But since he and Britney split, Kevin has so far taken all the correct steps he needed to win custody of those boys. Sorry, but can you really say the same for Britney? Right now, until Britney straightens her shit out, it's about those children and what's best for them.Source: International Herald Tribune

UPDATE: Us Weekly is reporting the following on their website regarding Kevin and the children:A source tells Us that Federline, 28, and his mother, along with the help of Spears' mother Lynne, have joined forces to aid Federline while he has cared for his sons -- Sean Preston, 17 months, and Jayden James, 5 months -- during their mother's recent rehab stints, partying and hotel stays.

"He is beyond sad," says a Federline pal. "This is the worst week of his entire life. He doesn't even want to pick up the phone. Things are beyond not well with Britney, and he still loves her."

"Britney's family feels that Kevin has been a blessing and they are very impressed with Kevin taking so much responsibility," says a Spears family source. "Britney's family found out from the news this morning that Britney had left the rehab. Britney has not asked to see the kids because she knows she is not well and she does not want to scare Preston. She has no credit cards or cash. She is basically on the run at the moment."

Oh dear! This whole Britney story keeps getting worse and worse! This week's issue of the National Enquirer has a story claiming that after her infamous 'head shave' night, Britney tried to commit suicide--twice. A source told The Enquirer that later that night, Britney tried to take her own life by first, walking into traffic (and thankfully being pulled out of the way of cars by her staff) and second, she was rushed to a doctor after she said she was going to kill herself and and then took too many Xanax. Hmmm...that might explain that late night trip she reportedly took to Cedars that night. You can read more about the story HERE.

If that wasn't crazy enough, The Enquirer also has stories about Katie Holmes rebelling from Tom Cruise and a claim from Anna Nicole's former assistant that he saw Howard K. Stern shoot Anna up with drugs. Complete madness!Cover provided by National Enquirer

Gah! Here we go ... all the madness of bald Britney and the stories that come along with it will be hitting the newsstands this week. Us Weekly will feature an interview with a source who claims to have once tried to get a nanny job with Spears, but also encountered very odd questioning while doing so....

Excerpt:

Personal Over Professional“Britney didn’t ask me one thing about my child-care experience. She only wanted to know about my personal life.”Friend Wanted“The agency that called me emphasized that Britney was looking for a nanny who was young and hip because they wanted her to interact with people her own age. Basically, Britney wanted a friend.”Comfort With Nudity A Plus“Britney asked me and one of her nannies to come to her room to watch her try on outfits for a party one night – then she stripped down naked in front of us!”Must Be Hands-On“One nanny told me that Britney will hold her kids for 10 minutes and then say, ‘I’m done now. You can take them.’”Don't Be Too Good“She doesn’t like when Sean prefers the nanny, so she fires them and looks for a new one.”

No, this is not Ground Hog day. Britney Spears has reportedly left rehab for the 2nd time. Sources say she left Promises in Malibu early this morning. No further information is available at this time and seriously, after this...does anyone even care anymore? Oh wait, she also reportedly tried to get into a tatoo parlor before going home to her babies, but shucks, it was closed. Glad to see she has her priorities straight.

In other Britney news, word is that she shaved her head not because Kevin Federline was threatening to drug test her, but because she had a case of the lice. A source told This is London, "She thought lice were eating her hair extensions, so decided to get rid of them as soon as possible." Sexy.

2.20.2007

Aww! Finally some happy news to pass around. After two years trying to get pregnant, The Bachelorette's Trista & Ryan Sutter are expecting their first baby! Trista is 3 1/2 months pregnant and although she says she "experienced horrendous morning sickness," the couple couldn't be happier. I know Trista was kind of annoying when she would do that silly baby voice on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, but the poor girl has been talking about having a baby for years, so I can't help but smile for her. Plus, after meeting in 2002 and marrying in 2003, Trista and Ryan are the only success story coming out of that sham that is The Bachelor, so I like them even more because of that. Successful marriage, baby on the way? Hmmm...I think I smell a new reality show coming.Source: PEOPLE

Britney Spears voluntarily checked into an in-patient rehab center in Los Angeles today, according to her manager, Larry Rudolph.

Rudolph released the following statement:"Britney Spears has voluntarily checked herself into an undisclosed rehab facility today. We ask that the media respect her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time."

Please Britney, don't leave that damn place until you get some help! Good luck girl. Source: People

UPDATE: The National Enquirer is reporting that Britney's father Jamie was the one who took her to rehab. They also say the rehab facility was Promises Treatment Center in Malibu.

Ugh! I am so repulsed. This world is filled with greedy, money-hungry, opportunistic bastards. Case in point: The lady who owns Esther's Hair Salon in Tarzana, CA, the place where Britney Spears took all her hair off is trying to sell Britney's shaved remains for a minimum of ONE MILLION DOLLARS. This woman (who you have most likely seen prancing all over the news) has created a website to sell Britney's actual hair, extensions, unopened can of Redbull and lighter. What kind of asshole would pay one million dollars for Britney's hair, let alone, hair that is primarily fake?? Even if the majority of Britney's hair wasn't extensions (her real hair was reportedly only 4 inches long), it was dry, falling out and in horrible condition. The website indicates that a portion of the proceeds will be donated to various charities. A portion? How much of a portion of one million dollars?? In an interview I saw on the news last night, the owner named Locks of Love and an orphanage in Armenia as the charities she would like to donate to, but honestly, I don't buy it. Something reeks here and for once, it ain't Britney's feet.

To place the minimum bid at one million bucks and then have shady, round-about wording about how much will be donated to charity gives me the impression this lady will donate some low ball amount to charity and the rest will end up in her pocket. If she really wanted to do good, she would hold an auction and sell the items to the highest bidder (with no minimum) and then donate all the proceeds to charity. Instead, it appears in what very well may have been Britney's lowest moment, she is shamefully being used again as a money making machine by everyone she comes in contact with.

The episode begins with Lauren and Heidi having coffee and Heidi breaks the horrid news to Lauren that she decided to give Spencer another chance at their pathetic, one sided relationship. Lauren tells Heidi that Spencer is just like Jason with all the mind tricks he plays, but Heidi protests and throws out the first of many cliched pathetic girl excuses and tells her, "It's different!!" Lauren is having none of that and straight up tells Heidi that Spencer is "not a good person." But Heidi, with her brain shoved so far up her ass, declares that she is staying with Spencer and here we go with excuse #2, is "just going to have fun and see what happens." Heidi continues her delusional rant and tells Lauren how she thinks Spencer "still could change" (excuse #3). Lauren, being the wonderful friend she is, tells Heidi she will always be there for her, but it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't like Spencer and from this point on, refuses to hang out with him. Then, pouring a little more salt in the "your boyfriend totally sucks" wound, Lauren adds "and I'll be there for you when he screws you over. Because he will." Tee-hee!

Next up, Spencer and Heidi meet for lunch, where he brings her a HUGE bouquet of red roses. Spencer makes sure to tell Heidi that she better like the flowers because "he broke the piggy bank" to get them for her. CUH-LASSY! Heidi starts telling Spencer how she is all stressed out because Lauren hates his cheesy ass and compares the situation with her and Spencer to the relationship Lauren had with Jason. Spencer, probably trying to hide his delight at the prospect that his messed up relationship with Heidi will land him one of the main stories on The Hills like it did Jason, asks if "the exact same situation in reverse" is happening with the two of them. Heidi, digging her denial ditch deeper and deeper, tells Spencer that he would never treat her the way Jason treated Lauren. When Spencer asks Heidi if Lauren has any idea how much he loves her, Heidi tells him, "no one does." Gee. Wake up and ring the freakin' alarm sweetheart. At least Jason allegedly had coke as an excuse for being a dick. After that, Spencer, with his creepy ass, capped tooth grin, changes the subject and asks Heidi if they are "having a slumber party" that night. Not surprisingly, Heidi responds by practically jumping down on her knees, paws in the air, panting like a dog at the thought of slumbering with Spencer. Don't forget your birth control this time Heidi! We wouldn't want another close call!

Later over at Hillside Villas, Heidi comes bouncing in with her big bouquet of roses, telling Lauren, "Look! Spencer got you some flowers!" That's right, she lied and told Lauren Spencer got Lauren the flowers. Lauren just looks at Heidi, unamused and unimpressed and says, "Aw, that was really nice of him! Is he going to give them to Audrina tomorrow?" Beautiful. I am so loving sassy, smart-ass Lauren! As the flowers sit alongside her on the couch, Lauren completely blows off the flowers and instead, shows more excitement when she tells Heidi she got them a bunch of turkey to eat. Sadly, Heidi doesn't seem as excited about the turkey and instead, goes in her room and throws a bunch of clothes in a bag for her slumber party. Soon after, she walks back into the living room and tells Lauren she is spending the night elsewhere. Upon hearing this, Lauren looks extremely repulsed, because as we learned in last week's episode, she totally sucks at working the poker face. After Heidi leaves, Audrina calls Lauren and invites her over for dinner. Lauren jumps at the invitation and when she arrives at Audrina's, she breaks the news that Heidi wimped out and is giving Spencer another chance. The two girls end up bonding over dinner as they laugh about what a loser Spencer is and how pathetic Heidi has become.

The next day, Heidi and Spencer are out shopping and as they walk down the street and Spencer keeps annoyingly twirling Heidi around and around as they talk, Heidi says she wants him to come to 'the club' with her and Lauren that night. In a shocking move, Spencer says, "I don't want to go to 'da club' anymore. All 'da club' does is create conflict." Then he starts ragging on Lauren, telling Heidi how Lauren will rat on him when he tries to pick up on other chicks and it will just cause problems. He then admits to Heidi that he really doesn't like Lauren because she isn't nice to him and neener, neener, neener. *eye roll*

That night, Heidi, Lauren and two-toned Jen meet up at 'da club' and inside, Spencer and Brody are also there. So much for Spencer not going to 'da club' anymore, huh? Audrina is also there and as she chats with some dude, she notices Spencer is all over another girl. Sadly, Heidi isn't around to see this (why isn't she watching him like a hawk?), but Audrina makes sure to point it out to Lauren. Lauren watches and shoots daggers from her eyes as some blond chick has her arms draped around Spencer's neck. Then, dumb ass Spencer gets nailed by the cameras & mic attached to him as he is caught telling the girl (which was also written in subtitles) "Lick my neck and I will **** trust me." MTV muted the word that he said, but if you ask me, it looked like he said a particular word that begins with a "C." UGH! After seeing that Spencer is still disgusting and retched, Lauren tells Audrina she is going to get Heidi out of there immediately. But before she could do that, Spencer stops Lauren and tells her, "we are so making peace, by the way. You can hate me that is fine." Lauren tells him that she doesn't hate him, only that she told her friend not to date him. When Spencer calls Lauren out on the smack she talked about him, Lauren tells Spencer that every time she sees his sorry ass, he is hitting on other girls. When Spencer tries to feed Lauren more bullshit, Lauren tells him she doesn't want to talk to him anymore and walks away. After this little scene, Heidi walks over to Lauren and asks if she's okay. Somehow, even after Lauren tells Heidi Spencer was just yelling at her, Lauren ends up being the one who takes a cab home and Spencer ends up getting a hug from Heidi. Huh.

The next day, Lauren goes over to Brody Jenner's place and they discuss the whole Spencer/Heidi nightmare. Brody tells Lauren that Spencer feels threatened by her because she is always telling Heidi about the bad shit Spencer pulls with other chicks. Lauren doesn't want to hear any excuses for Spencer's behavior and fighting back tears, tells Brody that she would never chose a guy over a friend. Later that day (and after Lauren is gone), Spencer shows up at Brody's. The two of them rehash the whole stupid situation, blah, blah, blah. When Brody mentions that one of the reasons why Lauren hates Spencer is because of the whole Heidi/Audrina rose debacle, Spencer with his big ass teeth starts to laugh and tells Brody how Heidi gave Lauren her flowers pretending they were from him. Spencer adds that he would never spend a dollar on Lauren.

Over at Bolthouse, Heidi gets a call from Spencer and he tells her everything Brody told him about Lauren. (Sidebar: at this point, I am sooo completely over and bored with these two, so forgive me if this is getting a little dull). When Spencer tells Heidi that Lauren said Heidi was unhappy, Heidi reassures Spencer saying that she is the "happiest she has ever been in her whole life." Spencer then tells Heidi he doesn't understand how she can still live with Lauren considering he is not allowed at the apartment, blah, blah and Heidi wishes everything could be "back to normal." Seriously, I wish Heidi was still dating that crying weasel Jordan from season one. Unlike Spencer, at least he was nice to look at. Zzzzzzzz.............

Next, after having a montage with shots of Lauren looking incredibly sad (or possibly just incredibly bored like me), she walks into her apartment to find Heidi in the kitchen. As Lauren goes straight for the turkey in the refrigerator, Heidi tells her she doesn't want it to be the way it has been between them for the past week and a half and adds that she doesn't think it's fair to have to chose between Lauren and Spencer. Lauren looks at Heidi like she is crazy and is like, "um, you have chosen for the last week and a half bitch." The two proceed to argue back and forth about Spencer and their friendship and then, when Lauren makes a comment about Spencer having to buy Lauren flowers for forgiveness, Heidi tells her, "Those were my flowers! I was just joking... like, here...Spencer bought you flowers, I thought it was funny!" Upon hearing this, LAUREN IS NOT AMUSED BY THIS ADMISSION AT ALL. She just gives Heidi a dead stare and walks away telling her, "I don't even want to talk to you..." and then slams her bedroom door. After that, Heidi starts packing up all her shit in a big suitcase, presumably off to you-know-who's and finally, the episode is over.

Fear not, the excitement returns next week on The Hills when Lauren's friend, two-toned Jen, goes after Brody!

2.19.2007

Here are a few of the spicy shots of Brad Pitt all over the March issue of Interview magazine, hitting newsstands Tuesday. Now if only he would do us all a favor quit those stinky cancer sticks. Scans Via SimplyBrad.com

Reps for Bridget Moynahan confirmed today that the actress is three months pregnant. The sticky part of this whole story is that the father of the baby is her ex boyfriend, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (and now reportedly the current beau of model Gisele Bundchen).

In a smart move probably to avoid gossip and speculation, Moynahan's reps released the following very blunt statement with all the dirt we need to know:

"This it to confirm that actress Bridget Moynahan is over three months pregnant. Former boyfriend Tom Brady is the father. They recently split after a three year relationship. Privacy and consideration is appreciated at this time. No further comments will be made."

I know that accidents happen and it could just be something in the water, but seriously, does anyone in Hollywood that isn't married understand the meaning of birth control? Source: US Weekly

During a benefit Sunday for the HIV-related charity Body & Soul, Kelly Osbourne walked on stage to introduce a performance by the band Scissor Sisters and stunned the audience when she revealed a member of her family is HIV positive. Osbourne was reportedly crying on stage and said the cause was "close to her heart" because a member of her family had been diagnosed. Osbourne told the crowd, "This charity is really important to me because one of my family is HIV positive. And I am so, so proud of him." She did not reveal who the family member is. How sad, the Osbourne clan has certainly had their share of grief due to health problems. In their immediate family, mama Sharon had colon cancer, sister Aimee had breast cancer, brother Jack battled substance abuse and Ozzy too had his addictions and various problems throughout the years. Once again, it shows that money can't buy you everything in life.Source: Earth Times

Ugh. I seriously cannot deal with this people. Britney is done and apparently does not like her new bald look since she is now sporting a wig. I just read the most depressing article from This is London where she allegedly was intoxicated and roaming all over town on Saturday, trying to rent a hotel room and car to no avail. The story says she was crying and saying stuff like, "Nobody one wants me anymore!" It is too tragic to watch, it is too tragic to write about. Thankfully, Britney's mother was just spotted in Malibu, so at least we know she is not completely alone. Part of me also wishes that Kevin Federline will put aside the fact that they are going through a divorce, find Britney and do whatever he can to convince her to get help for the sake of their children. And for Justin Timberlake to look into the camera during his acceptance speech at the recent Brit Awards, and publicly humiliate that "mystery person" by telling them to "quit drinking" and warn about "getting sloppy" in front of all the world to hear and laugh at, well, I don't hold much hope for him being the one to properly reach out to her either. Oh and we can't forget that pig Isaac Cohen, who Britney dated for like a second, running to the tabloids after their break up and reportedly selling his dirty story for hundreds of thousands of dollars. With people like that in your life, I'd shave my head too.

2.17.2007

Oh sweet baby Jesus, WTF? Britney Spears has shaved her head. Not allegedly, she shaved her fucking head. The first photo was taken during the act last night while Britney did the deed inside a hair salon. The other photo was taken from video later in the evening as she sat in the Body and Soul tattoo parlor in Sherman Oaks, CA, while getting pink and red lips tattooed on her wrist. Unless she has a medical reason for doing this, which in that case it is completely understandable, she has officially gone off the deep end and I am scared. I mean, her hair was totally messed up and reportedly falling out from all the damage, so she can at least get a fresh start. But seriously, is the girl trying to start a new celebrity trend of matching bald heads and bald vaginas? Did she not like the fact that Anna Nicole Smith was getting all the media attention for the past week? Can you even imagine Kevin Federline and Justin Timberlake's reaction? I knew someone once who wanted to shave her head "just because," but she was a freakin' nut case if that tells you anything.

2.16.2007

Hmmm...it looks like "wrong way Richie" forgot to mention to the police that in addition to popping vicodin and smoking weed, according to court papers, she may have consumed alcohol that night in Dec. '06 when she was arrested for driving the wrong way on the 134 freeway in Burbank. The Los Angeles District Attorney charged Richie Friday with a misdemeanor for driving under the influence. Court papers obtained by TMZ claim that Richie was "under the influence of an alcoholic beverage and a drug and under their combined influence" while driving a vehicle. Richie is set to be arraigned on February 21st. If convicted, Richie could face a jail sentence of 90 days to one year because she has a prior DUI conviction from June 2003.

Considering Richie could have killed someone in a head on freeway crash that night, she should be thanking her lucky stars her wasted ass is only facing up to a year in jail if convicted. Whatever, she will probably get another crappy reality show out of it anyway. Too bad, so sad! Lock her up!Sources: TMZPEOPLE

UPDATE Tuesday, Feb 20th: Nicole Richie plead 'not guilty' today to the charges of misdemeanor DUI. Huh. I wonder how she has the nerve to do that after 1) she reportedly failed the field sobriety test 2) according to police, she admitted to taking vicoden and smoking pot before driving an automobile and 3) Drove on the freeway the wrong way. So much for taking responsibility for your actions.

Eminem's ex-wife Kim Mathers was a guest on Detroit's "Mojo in the Morning" radio show today where she proved she is still a smidgen bitter about the break-up with her ex. In the interview, Kim stated:

* "I vomit in my mouth whenever I'm around him or I hear his name. There's nothing left in me for him. Nothing at all."

* "If you're going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work.

* "His relationship with the kids has (gone) downhill."

* "Since he left the house in February (2006), I don't know what he's doing. His visits are few and far between, and when he does come around, it's nothing positive."

*When he's around the children, Em is "always yelling and complaining about something." Hailie consistently asks, " 'Why is dad acting so weird?'

Kim also added that sex with Eminem was "bad" and that he had a small penis. When Eminem heard about Kim's claims on the morning show, he released the following statement through his publicist:

"It's a shame that I've moved on and Kim hasn't." "Her ongoing press campaign is doing nothing but harm to the children, and for that I feel truly sorry. For their sake I wish she would stop."

Interesting how there was no denial from Eminem about the small penis claim. Whatever. I'm not going to take either one of their sides. They are both a mess. Kim also appeared today in an unevenful television interview on the Dr. Keith Ablow show. Why the hell is she suddenly doing all this press?Source: detnews

Okay, this one is kind of weird. Extra is reporting that Britney Spears checked into rehab "at an undisclosed location" two days ago, upon the urging of her family and close friends (see Felicia Culottaletter ). People.com reported that the "undisclosed location" was Eric Clapton's Crossroads Centre in Antigua. Okay, but before you start cheering that Britney has finally wised her ass up and decided to get help for her destructive ways, TMZ is now reporting that shortly after checking in, she refused to stay and bailed.

Antigua? Isn't that the fancy ass place where Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt took their last vacation together? Maybe she thought she was going to some boozy, sun drenched resort and when she found out it was a rehab center, she skipped town. If she did want to go to rehab, why would she go to Antigua when she could just join Lindsay at Wonderland? (joking!). Ugh, I don't know, details on this are so sketchy, who knows what the truth really is. I'll keep you posted!

Anna Nicole Smith's will was released Friday by a Florida court and not surprisingly, it reveals she left everything to her son Daniel. The will had not been updated since his death or the birth of Smith's daughter Dannielynn. According to CNN, Howard K. Stern is named the will's executor, which gives him the authority to set up and oversee a trust on behalf of Smith's beneficiaries, and to make investments on its behalf.

In the will, which you can download a .pdf HERE, nothing was left to Howard K. Stern. All the legal mumbo-jumbo is confusing, but what does this part mean and where does it leave Dannilynn?:

FAMILY DECLARATIONS AND STATUTORY DISINHERITANCES

I am unmarried. I have one child DANIEL WAYNE SMITH. I have no predeceased children nor predeceased children leaving issue.

Except as otherwise provided in this will, I have intentionally omitted to provide for my spouse and other heirs, including future spouses and children and other descendants now living and those hereafter born or adopted, as well as existing and future stepchildren and foster children.

There is also a part on the very last page that sounds like she appointed Howard as Daniel's guardian upon her death:

Any such nominee who is a resident of a state other California may, at the nominee's election, file a petition for appointment in such other state and/or in California. I request that any court having jurisdiction permit the guardian to change the residence and domicile of my minor children to the jurisdiction where the guardian resides.

I give the guardian of the person of my minor children the same authority as a parent having legal custody and authorize the guardian to exercise such authority without need for notice, hearing, court authorization, instructions, approval or confirmation in the same manner as a parent having legal custody. I request that no bond be required because of the grant of these independent powers."

But like I said, all that legal mumbo jumbo is difficult to interpret correctly without a law degree. I know I have some "legal eagles" that read this site, so your interpretation is welcome!

For anyone who is interested in reading more about this, go on over to CNN. To see a copy of Anna's will, you can download a .pdf of it HERE.

Bad, bad news for fans of Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman. Despite an injunction request by Chapman, a federal court has cleared the way for Chapman to be extradited to face charges in Mexico for deprivation of liberty (I assume this applies to Leland and Tim too). These charges stem back to Dog's June 2003 arrest after he captured that pig rapist and Max Factor heir, Andrew Luster, who fled the U.S. days before his conviction. Dog was arrested by Mexican officials because bounty hunting is illegal in Mexico.

GUADALAJARA, Mexico — A federal court has cleared the way for TV bounty hunter Duane 'Dog' Chapman to be extradited to face charges in Mexico, court officials said. Norma Jara, a spokeswoman for the second district court in Guadalajara, said the court rejected Chapman's injunction request, ruling there was no reason not to try him with the charge of deprivation of liberty of Mexico.

"We only just heard about the Mexican court's decision to continue with the extradition proceedings, and are still in shock," Chapman and his wife, Beth, said in a statement issued Thursday night in Honolulu. "Our attorneys have not even been formally informed of the court's decision, as of yet," they said.

"We are obviously deeply disappointed and fearful of what will happen, and are currently absorbing the news and discussing our options at this time."

Mexican authorities had already asked for Chapman's extradition from Hawaii. Chapman's lawyers argued he would not be guaranteed a fair trial in Mexico, Jara said. The charges against the 53-year-old star of the A&E reality series "Dog the Bounty Hunter" stem from his June 2003 capture of convicted rapist Andrew Luster, the Max Factor heir, in Puerto Vallarta, 210 miles west of Guadalajara.

Chapman was arrested Sept. 14 along with his son and another associate and released on $300,000 bail. He faces up to four years in a Mexican jail if convicted. Luster's capture shot the Honolulu-based bounty hunter to fame and led to the TV series. His disappearance set off an international manhunt by police, FBI and bounty hunters trying to recoup some of the bond money. Luster is serving a 124-year prison term.

It's not just us. Even Britney Spears' long time friend and former assistant Felicia (known to Britney fans as "Fe") Culotta thinks Britney is a complete wreck. It's the first time someone in Britney's crew has directly voiced their opinion on her crazy ass, cooter flashing, puking in public way too many times behavior. In a letter written to that kid Ruben who ran the World of Britney fan site (which made headlines when he decided to close it down), Felicia Culotta spills her guts about Britney and the pain she endures witnessing her downward spiral:

Ruben,

Once again–I commend you for your Honesty and Integrity. I have been reading your new website daily and am grateful to have that to go to, to check on the antics of Britney. Britney doesn’t have a Publicist for me to clear this thru first, so it will come directly from my heart to you!I am writing in response to “Where is Felicia?” on your editorial.I am home–in Mississippi…….I am now a trained Corporate Flight Attendant and fly with a tiny jet company out of Georgia. I am also a substitute Preschool Teacher at the Church Preschool in my town. I LOVED being with Britney for the past 9 1/2 years. I enjoyed being a part of HER dream, but now, am living my own dream.I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding…….I want you to know Ruben that WE (as in her Family and nearest and dearest—ALL of whom are NOT on the payroll anymore!!) are doing EVERYTHING in our power to get help for Britney and all in our power to NOT pad the bottom or move the bottom, so when she does indeed hit rock bottom, she’ll stand up and walk away from this whole fiasco a new, confident, changed, career driven Britney like we all knew and loved.There’s just so much you can do to help a person—I don’t dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. All I can do is be a friend, someone that loved her for MANY years unconditionally, and PRAY. That, I have decided is the most and best I can do for my friend. I cannot save her from herself, nor can I commit her to any type of treatment program against her wishes and will. I am throwing my hands up and realizing that I am helpless over another—ANYONE!It’s been a hard reality for me to face. I have lived my best example daily, and that is ALL I’m capable of. To see what’s transpiring now, makes me feel a failure, defeated. I LOVED and BELIEVED in what I was a part of for the past 10 years and was so incredibly proud of Britney and all she’d become.All that to say this Ruben–I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say—You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!Thank you for ALL you’ve done–ALL the love and support over the years. ALL the non-judgement and ALL the Honesty!PLEASE let me know if there’s ANYTHING I can do to repay your kindness. With as much sincerity as I can Muster,—FE

2.15.2007

Oh Ms. Hudson. I'm not gonna lie, I was not a fan of hers when she appeared on American Idol and I still haven't seen Dreamgirls yet. But, I heard she's great in the movie and of course, now has that little Academy Award nomination under her belt. Thankfully, the LIFE photos (which you see all of them HERE) do the girl justice (unlike the ones of her featured in the latest issue of Vogue). Gah!

Here's some shots of Katie Holmes in the March issue of Harper's Bazaar. I think she looks gorgeous on the cover, but I would have liked to have seen more of that good 'ol Joey Potter smile in some of the other pics. Oh well. On a final note, I love the irony of Bazaar choosing a picture where Katie looks miserable and wearing a long, black dress that reminds you of mourning to go along with her quote, "Tom makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and has since the day I met him."

"I want to thank Anna for making me famous. When you think of Anna, think of red, white and pink hearts. She was love as she taught love. She was the breadwinner and supported four people by baring her breasts and genitals for men and women. She was an entertainer who will be missed."