First, here's the Wired review of the iPhone 6 in which everything about it is hailed as "a new gold standard," while in the same article it acknowledges that better cameras do exist, the native apps crash too frequently, the camera doesn't always work from the lock screen, and the phone does indeed bend.

Here's the waterproof Samsung Galaxy S5, which I don't own, so I don't have a horse in this race.

Also, I don't give a shit about whether or not you switch from your stupid precious iPhones. Go ahead and run to the "genius" bar every time you need big mama Apple to do something as simple as replace your battery or wipe your ass. I prefer you idiots suffer from your bad decisions. Just shut up about your stupid iPhones already, nobody cares. Samsung, HTC and LG need to stop copying shitty iPhone features. iPhones blow.

And yes, the phones do bend. I've seen the Wall Street analyst tweet about how he wasn't able to bend the phone. Apparently he's weaker than these kids. Also, I've seen the flawed Consumer Reports bend-test, however their test puts pressure directly in the center of each phone they tested, not near the buttons where the phones are most susceptible to being bent while sitting in your pocket. Shut up about the shitty test already. Kids are bending the phone, game over.

Finally, thanks to Harry's for sponsoring this episode. Use the code biggestproblem when checking out to save $5 off your purchase and it'll help our show.