"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedence, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down." Robert Charles Benchley~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.

So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RULES OF THE AIRWAYS

Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.

Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever collided with the sky.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first!

Everyone knows a 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. But a 'great landing is one after which you can use the airplane again.

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

Was that a landing or were we shot down?

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

Trust your captain.... but keep your seat belt securely fastened.

Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline.

Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.

A pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.

Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.

There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold, pilots!

Gravity never loses! The best you can hope for is a draw!

Gravity SUCKS!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?"

Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard.

With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Goooood morning BOOMERLAND!!!

Now that you're all awake, feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

If you have an awesome day of gaming planned, I'm sure everyone would like to hear about it.

It is way too early to be up and getting ready for work. I have to be there at three, which means I was up at 1:30. At least I get off early in the day, but it's still going to be a long day. I need a vacation.

Okay, have to run. Have a terrific Sunday, everyone.

_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and Cailyn. Joe how about some arrow hunting and maybe watch some football! Enjoy your day off! Ana a walk in the woods with the dogs sounds nice. Enjoy. Venus don't work to hard! Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Always a pleasure to have it ready in the Diner! Happy Day wished for all!

Good morning everyone. L4L, Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. Breakfast out this morning and a trip to Sam's for Croisants for Christmas and Christmas Eve. all my Diner family. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Quite chilly here, in the 30's. Danish, Cheese Omelets, Hash Browns, English Muffins, and Hot Chocolate in the NC.

Still cold, surprise. Actually changing my bed comforter helped. Went from the 'summer' one to the 'winter' one and all was snuggly and warm. I like to keep a window open in the bedroom no matter what weather so cold air is great if it's only on your head and the rest of you is wrapped in warm bedding. Yup, heavenly.

Last night or rather early this morning, noises outside. Several people laughing and walking around at the corner, getting into 3 cars. Have no idea what it was, and I think they all came from down the 'sidewalk in progress' street. 2:30 am is a bit late for a party to end? Dunno, but after I decided they weren't graffiti experts or vandals I went back to sleep. They piled in cars and left much too slowly to have been up to any funny business. Oh well, will take a walk today and see if anything looks amiss on the street.

Blocked the 'raccoon access' hole on the side of my deck and hopefully they will not reappear. It's been over a week now with no 'sightings'. They can get in and out on the other side if they need to, but it's less hidden. Hope mom and babies are somewhere warm and dry back 'home'. Will probably see one of the females next spring with a new litter. Ugh. Saving on cat food since they stopped eating it all up every night. AND now it's possum mating season. Can hardly wait for the tiny babies to appear from under the deck. I keep the feeder close to the gap in the deck that goes around a huge tree (had it built around it cause I didn't want to ruin my shade). They crawl out, eat fast and dive back. Sheltered from birds of prey if they are quick (umbrella over feeder hides them). I'm waaaay to into saving wildlife. Oh well, someone has to do it. Might as well be ME.

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Enjoy your day off and have a happy, happy Sunday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

L4L!

Never got to church yesterday, so we're going to late service this morning. Then, it's Christmas wrapping. Later, I'm making my Greek pasta dish, with shrimp, cherry tomatoes, Kalamata olives, and Feta. Pair with Retsina! Fab-U-Lous!

So looking forward to Christmas. My sis, BIL, and niece from Wisconsin are flying out today and we will all be at my nephew's for Christmas. It will be a house full, and I'm loving that!

Mum is too fragile to fly anymore, so Brother #2 and SIL are flying to Wisconsin to be with her...