Customer: “Ah, well, Thursday isn’t really going to work for me. Could you move the convention to Friday instead?”

Me: “I’m afraid that we have already booked the venue and the speakers and planned everything for Thursday. It’s a little late to consider changing the date, especially since we have around 70 people booked for this particular seminar.”

Me: “Ma’am, the system is showing us that you have recently made a lot of returns without a receipt. When this happens, corporate flags your ID and you can’t make any non-receipt returns for a while. It’s to prevent theft.”

Customer: “I’m not stealing. In fact, I have a lot of money. My boyfriend is a street pharmacist and he has a lot of money.”

Me: “A what, ma’am?”

Customer: “A street pharmacist! He sells dope.”

Me: “That is more information than I want to know ma’am. You have a good day.”