..................random excerpts from the beautiful disaster that is my life

Monday, October 19, 2009

wait, before you say anything...

lunch money, again? i know. yes i have to work. i can't talk right now. what do you want? what are you doing? how many times do i have to say no? pick this up. please pick this up. did you pay your parking tickets? here is the presentation. what time is the meeting? how far behind are we? i believe in second chances. i'll be your first. it's broken, again? this isn't happening. this can't be possible. he did what? no, i haven't talked to her for over a week. i should call her. i'll stop and grab some groceries. you're grounded. is your homework done? what do you want for dinner? who is this from? easy with the air freshener. nice blush. i haven't paid that credit card for over two years. hello. goodbye. i had free tickets. i think i saw her but i don't remember. remember, i specifically said today? i can't do everything. my stomach hurts. do i have a fever? you don't have a fever. i can't think about this. i haven't made plans yet. there is piss AND shit in rest homes. that is the smell of rot. i don't know. yes, i have wet hair. no, i don't have five minutes. i really don't. i need tylenol. why is the tv up so loud? what if someone gives me the swine flu? is she pregnant? i don't know what they are doing for her birthday. maybe. nice move, jerk. i hate driving. you've never taken that off before? i am NOT hungry. can i get two chicken soft tacos? this place could kill a man. i'll take care of it tomorrow. i wonder what would have happened. guess who called me today? remember when i saw you everyday? how long has it been since you've seen her? too long. you were johnny for halloween and you're worried about being a boyscout? so are you dating anyone? i don't know, i am not sure what to do. jesus christ. that will cost you one dollar. dr. phil is pretty intelligent. he's smart. do most people end up hating their moms? did i really misuse the parenthesis so blatantly. i've just got too much to do. i don't watch tv. do old people's insides smell worse? baby diapers are manageable. does it get worse? did you watch the games on sunday? do you ever just feel like talking? no. do you ever feel like just... not talking? i don't have time for chitchat. you guys are friendlies. what were you thinking? i feel like i've said this before. i would if i had the energy. it's not you, it's me. i have to sleep. i will do it later. i have no idea. why do i have to do everything? i will be there. don't worry. what if i don't sleep tonight? let the dogs out. those buggers. what did you do with my scanner? turn the lights off. i'm tired. do i look tired? do you think these match? i wonder if people really like being married. i would just hate it. i think it's supposed to be thrown away. what jeans do you want washed? i've never really liked jay leno. can we wash these tonight? well i get nervous, that's why i chew gum. just kidding, i don't really get nervous. let's see, fifteen minutes ago i could have done that. i'm sorry you're sick. i should do something nice for him. i have thought about you, does that count? no. not at all. i would love to be married for 60 years. you still have a cold sore in your nose? what age does early adulthood mean? specifically. i need some water. i need to call the doctor. i am not even wearing makeup, i'm cutting corners where i can. he does indeed have the swine flu. it's a confirmed case. i just need like fifteen minutes. so that is what craziness sounds like? i wonder if i sounded like that. we should start a community action at work. if i get the swine flu, i'll be so pissed. can i get a soy latte, four shots? i saw them in concert. do i have to watch it? that totally makes sense now. yes, i can do that by friday. it's just hard to feel anything. i am way too emotional to deal with you right now. did he say no? right now, i am busy. yes, i understand. every one is so busy. every one is broke. i am broke. i don't have any money. i flushed my paycheck down the toilet. no, really. i lost mine. how much lunch money do you need? they take tickets. are you talking? all the good stuff has already been done. at least once. i totally missed his birthday. my teeth hurt. will you hand me the water please? some places are open 24 hours. i will not be seeing that movie. i feel like we're not communicating.

2 comments
:

if you read this real fast like the thoughts are bullets in a fire storm, its kind of how work is for me when it's busy...like 15 conversations going on at once and you have to pay attention to them all.

i know you're not a twitterer but there's this one tweeter (wtf? is that what they're called, or are they twits?) that posts random shit that his old dad has to say...it's awesome http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays

oh yeah, old people insides are closer to death, so yeah, they smell waaay worse.

lauren: you may be the only person who made it through this. and i am so pleased to know that i am not imagining my grandma's releases as being decaying insides. they remind me of my grandpa when he used to poop on me. so it's a nostalgic yet disgusting thing. i read the tweeter/twit. it's funny but... who has the time? crazay!