WATER WAR: Eklund Gets the Vapors, Bows to California

James Eklund, director of the Colorado Water Conservation Board, initially gave some tough remarks in explaining his state’s intentions in an interview with The Associated Press. “If anybody thought we were going to roll over and say, ‘OK, California, you’re in a really bad drought, you get to use the water that we were going to use,’ they’re mistaken,” he said.

Sounded like Eklund was doing his job — standing up for Colorado’s water rights, refusing to back down from the hot-tubing, fountain-spewing, lawn-watering, California horde.

Some of Eklund’s fellow water authorities were taken aback. Eklund is in charge of the state’s water policy and planning and as senior deputy legal counsel to Gov. John Hickenlooper, his word carries a lot of weight.

“There was a lot of surprise with that remark,” said Bill Hasencamp, Colorado River Program manager at the Metropolitan Water District in Los Angeles, which serves 19 million people.

Oh Boo Hoo!

You need to toughen up, guys. Managing the Colorado River Compact isn’t the job for delicate flowers to make nice and hold tea parties. It’s not for the light-hearted to swoon, or be “taken aback.”

Rather than stand his ground, Eklund got the vapors and submissively surrendered to our oldest enemy in the Water War.

“Unfortunately my comment, the quote that was attributed to me, suggested that we were flexing our muscle,” he said. “And that’s just not the case.”

That’s right California; Eklund is not going to defend our rights, he will just go with the flow. Help yourself and jump right in, the water is fine.

“Not everyone in California realizes how bad this drought is,” said Felicia Marcus, chair of the State Water Resources Control Board. Speaking of the May data, she said, “Folks just didn’t get how bad this is and how bad it could be. We are really in desperate times.”

Desperate times call for desperate emergency rules, and California is so distressed it has mandated several feckless regimes for the masses.

Here is the list of ridiculous prohibitions:

• Direct application of water to wash sidewalks and driveways.

•Landscape irrigation that causes runoff to streets and gutters.

•Washing a motor vehicle using a hose without a shut-off nozzle.

•Using drinkable water in a decorative fountain unless it recirculates the water.

California is in crisis because they can’t water their driveways and sidewalks, and once again it’s Colorado’s problem.

Way to stick to your guns, Eklund. How about growing a backbone and standing up for Colorado’s water rights?

Although, we imagine a water war fought between Eklund and California’s Hasencamp would look something like this: