(set: $a to (array:
"cookie",
"tea",
"fart",
"angel",
"eggnog",
"turkey",
"snow",
"dog",
"flu",
"magic",
"reindeer",
"elf",
"Santa",
"Patrik",
"SpongeBob",
"jackpot",
"777",
"Cash") )
(display: "1 spinner") - (display: "1 spinner") - (display: "1 spinner")It was raining on the day before Christmas eve.
Your friend drops her shopping bag on the table in the living room. «So what did we just bought exactly?»
* [[«I don't know, my kids asked for it.»->start a1]]
* [[«That, my friend, is a SpongeBob's Magic Box of Fantastical Adventures. You've never seen it in the tv show?»->start a2]]
* [[«I guess you don't have kids, otherwise you would know.»->start a3]]«Well, it sure is colourful»
«Yup.»
You move toward the kitchen: [[«You want some tea?»->start b]]«Why would I watch a kid show?»
«Well, it's not that bad.»
«You watch it?»
«Sometimes, with the kids.»
You move toward the kitchen: [[«You want some tea?»->start b]]«Hey, that's just mean!»
You smile. «Hehe, sorry.»
You move toward the kitchen: [[«You want some tea?»->start b]]«Sure.»
You go to the kitchen.
While boiling the water, you hear your friend unpack the shopping bag. She yells from the living room: «I think we should try it.»
«Why would we do that. It's a gift.»
«To make sure it works properly.»
«It's brand new!»
«Too late, I already opened the box! Hihi!»
«Oh come on!»
You roll you eyes as you hear her unpack the toy from its box.
You fill the two cups with hot water for the tea.
«Wow. There's like warning stickers everywhere! ...aaaand a 10 pages manual full of warnings. You sure it's for kids?»
* [[«I hope so. I hope we got the right one»->start b1]]
* [[«Of course it is!»->start b2]]«They asked for it so much. I assume that's what they wanted.»
[[You come back with the tea.->start c]]«It's SpongeBob. Of course it's for kids! It's not like they started a line of toys for adults with SpongeBob's face on it!»
Your friend remains silent.
[[You come back with the tea.->start c]]Your friend is holding a paper manual. «Wow... You see that? It says:
(font: "Courier New")[Warning. The batteries in this product should only be replaced by an adult. Risk of death by poison or strangulation. Risk of burning your house. Risk of radiation and DNA mutation. Risk of catching the flu.]
She looks at you. «Wow... Is this for real?»
* [[«Only if you put it in a microwave!»->start microwave]]
* [[«You know how it is. They always put warnings for useless stuff because people are dumb.»->start dumb]]«I guess you're right.»
She suddenly looks exited. «So... Wanna try it?»
You [[look at the toy->look at toy]].«What?»
You continue: «Lets see if you get the flu if you swallow the batteries!»
«Stop kidding. We should try it to make sure it's safe.»
* [[«Sure»->look at toy]]
* [[«Whatever»->look at toy]]The toy is shaped like a magician box, with a star pattern on it. The kind where you would pull out a rabbit or something. One side of the box has a big face of SpongeBob.
She points at the face: «What's that?»
In his eyes, there's some sort of electronic display.
* [[«It displays some pictures in its eyes I think.»->activate]]
* [[«You have to pull his nose over here.»->activate]]
You activate the toy.
Its eyes light up. You hear a little motor or something inside.
(display: "spin")
[[STOP->cookie]](if: (history:) contains "drink tea")[You and (random: 5, 95)% players brew the tea leaves.](else:)[You and (random: 5, 95)% players smoke the tea leaves.]
(if: (history:) contains "fart eat")[You and (random: 5, 95)% players ate a fart cookie.](else:)[You and (random: 5, 95)% players got a fart cookie, but didn't ate it.]
(if: (history:) contains "Eat the turkey... raw!")[You and (random: 5, 95)% players ate the turkey raw.](else:)[You and (random: 5, 95)% players cooked the turkey.]
(if: (history:) contains "dog false positive")[You and (random: 5, 95)% players kicked a dog.](else:)[You and (random: 5, 95)% had their christmas decoration ruined.]
You and (random: 5, 95)% players had a weird conversation about Christmas.
You and (random: 5, 95)% players caught the flu.
You and 100% players thought the ending was weird.
You and (random: 5, 95)% players have questioned the validity of these stats.
You and (random: 5, 95)% players were right: 100% of these stats are bullshit.
And merry Xmas...
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[[Continue to the Credits->Credits]]
The display shuffle for a moment, and then shows the word "Cookie" written three times.
(set: $spinResult to "cookie")(display: "3 results")
The box pops open.
You look inside. There a gingerbread cookie. It looks tasty.
* [[«oh nice! Gingerbread cookie! Wanna share?»->cookie 1]]
* [[«Bleh, I don't like those. You can have it.»->cookie 2]]Cookie - Cookie - Fart
The box pops open.
You get a cookie, but it has a strange smell.
* [[«They don't really mean...»->fart1]]
* [[«Hehehe. I love fart jokes.»->fart2]](set: $spinResult to "Turkey")(display: "3 results")
«Oh cool! After all this tea and eggnog, I'm hungry. That should fill a hole!»
The box pops open.
There's a live turkey inside. The turkey gobbles and flick its wings.
Your friend is laughing: «Hahaha! Not what I expected!»
* [[Eat the turkey... raw!->turkey raw]]
* [[Cook the turkey->turkey cook]](set: $spinResult to "Angel")(display: "3 results")
The box pops open.
Inside is a little plastic angel.
Your friend has a huge smile in her face: «OOOOOooooh! That's cute!»
* [[«It's just cheap plastic»->angel cheap]]
* [[«I don't believe in angels»->angel don't believe]]You both eat the cookie. It's pretty good.
«Want to try it again?»
She closes the box and [[pull his nose again->spin after cookie]]. You watch her eat the cookie. «It's pretty good»
While she eats, you close the box and [[pull the nose again->spin after cookie]].
(live: 100ms)[(transition:"pulse")[(either: ...$a)]]«It's probably just because it was in the box for too long.»
* [[Eat it->fart eat]]
* [[Don't eat it->fart don't eat]]«Wait, are you really gonna eat it? It's foul!»
* [[Eat it->fart eat]]
* [[Don't eat it->fart don't eat]]The cookie seems to taste just like the previous one.
But you're unsure.
«Ok, now let's see what else is in this box»
[[Activate the toy again->spin after fart]]You throw the cookie in the trash.
What a waste! For all you know, maybe it was just a regular cookie, and you're just imagining stuff. But you can't be sure.
«Ok, now let's see what else is in this box»
[[Activate the toy again->spin after fart]](display: "spin")
[[STOP->angel]]That's unhealthy.
**-1 health point**
And yet, you can help yourself. You activate the toy again.
(display: "spin")
[[STOP->fart cookie]]You burn the turkey alive and cook it.
It does fill a hole. You're not hungry anymore.
**+1 health point**
After your meal, you activate the toy again.
(display: "spin")
[[STOP->fart cookie]](live: 1000ms)[(transition:"pulse")[Angel](if: time>2000)[(stop:)]] - (live: 1000ms)[(transition:"pulse")[Magic](if: time>2000)[(stop:)]] - (live: 1000ms)[(transition:"pulse")[Flu](if: time>2000)[(stop:)]]
The box pops open.
aaaand it's empty. Oh well.
* [[«I guess we can't get something every time.»->Nothing a]]
* [[«Man, this really start to feels like a slot machine...»-->Nothing b]]
* [[«What happens if we get 3 flu symbols?»-->Nothing c]]
«Yeah...»
She reach to [[activate the toy again->spin after nothing]].«Haha, yeah, I guess. You have to hook the kids early and drain them of all their money.»
«And parents money.»
«And our money too. We're the ones who bought the toy after all.»
You think it could be a good moment to stop, but you can't help but [[reach for the toy again->spin after nothing]] just one last time.Your friend reach for the toy: «Well, there's only one way to find out!»
[[She activates the toy again->spin after nothing]](display: "spin")
[[STOP->turkey]](set: $spinResult to "Tea")(display: "3 results")
The box pops open.
Inside are a bunch of leaves. It smells like autumn and old people.
«Oh but we just had tea.», your friend says with a pout.
[[Drink it. «There's no such thing as too much tea»->drink tea]]
[[Smoke them.->smoke tea]]You go back in the kitchen and bring back more hot water.
Your friend drops some tea leaves in your mugs. «I guess I'm not used to making tea this way.»
«What do you mean?»
«I mean, just put the leaves like that in the water, with no tea bag and without grinding them.»
«Ah yeah.»
Indeed, the feeling is weird when you drink your tea. You have to be careful not to get the leaves in your mouth.
The tea is good though.
«Shall we [[try again?->spin after tea]]»Who would have thought that burned tea smoke would smell just as good as the tea itself.
The smoke puts a fog on your vision. It really gives a nice mood to the room.
«All right, I feel good about this»
You [[pull the nose->spin after tea]] on SpongeBob's face again.(display: "spin")
[[STOP->eggnog]](live: 1000ms)[(transition:"pulse")[$spinResult](if: time>2000)[(stop:)]](display: "1 result") - (display: "1 result") - (display: "1 result")(display: "spin")
[[STOP->tea]](set: $spinResult to "Eggnog")(display: "3 results")
The box pops open.
Half of the box is now filled with creamy goo. You lower yourself toward the box to smell.
«Yep. Smell like eggnog. And if I'm not mistaken, it's the *boosted* kind of eggnog», you add with a smile.
«I guess that's why there were so many warnings on the box.»
You lower your tea cup inside the box and scoop it full of eggnog.
* [[«You want some too?»->eggnog for friend]]
* [[«That thing is expensive. Let's just fill as many glasses as we can»->eggnog scoop]]«Hmmm... Yeah, ok.»
Your friend continues: «At home, we never drinks this. But I remember I had some at a friend's house when I was young. I remember I wasn't sure if I liked it. Maybe I just wasn't confortable drinking raw eggs.»
She comes back from her reverie. «Speaking of that, it's probably not safe to drink this if it stayed in that box for so long.»
She pushes her glass.
* [[«Maybe...» and you push your glass too.->spin after eggnog]]
* [[«Meh...» and you finish your glass.->spin after eggnog]]After filling 5 (if: (history:) contains "eggnog scoop")[more](else:)[big] glasses of eggnog, you realize the box is still as full as it was when you started.
* [[«Cool. Let's fill more glasses!»->eggnog scoop]]
* [[«We have enough.»->spin after eggnog]]«Ok. Enough eggnog. Let's play this thing again»
You activate the toy.
(display: "spin")
[[STOP->Nothing]]«So what if it's just plastic?»
* [[«Decorations are useless»->angel boring]]
* [[«I don't like the fact that we're buying cheap decorations that we'll throw away. It's waste.»->angel boring]]She looks at you: «I... Why would you say that?»
«Well...»
She continues: «Believe what you want, but I'm sure I have a gardian friend watching over me.»
«Well... I guess it's good for the brain»
«What?»
«It's good for the brain to believe in stuff like that.»
She looks away, agasp. «Man! You can be such...»
«But it's true. When the brain thinks about positive stuff, it tints how you perceive the world.»
«Whatever dude. That's not the point.»
«Ok ok. Forget it. Let's just keep playing.»
You reach the toy to [[activate it.->angel boring 2]]«Well, you're just boring.»
«I know.»
«You ARE boring!»
«I know. And yet, you know that I'm right. Decorations ARE useless.»
«But it's cute and it brings me happiness.»
«Waste of plastic.»
«It puts me in a good mood.»
«Then you should asks yourself why you need to spend money on cheap plastic to bring you happiness»
She looks at you with a blank stare. «You...»
You turn to the toy box. «All right. All right. Forget it. [[Let's just try this thing again.»->angel boring 2]]«No wait»
She looks at you. «Why are you like that?»
«Like what?»
«Why are you always like that during the holiday. It's supposed to be a fun time.»
* [[«I... I...»->angel boring 3]]
* [[«Well, to be honest...»->angel boring 3]]«I...»
You hesitate and look away.
«Pffff... whatever...»
[[You activate the toy.->spin after angel]](display: "spin")
[[STOP->dog]](live: 1000ms)[(transition:"pulse")[Snow](if: time>2000)[(stop:)]] - (live: 1000ms)[(transition:"pulse")[Dog](if: time>2000)[(stop:)]] - (live: 1000ms)[(transition:"pulse")[Dog](if: time>2000)[(stop:)]]
The box pops open.
A dog jumps out. It's white as snow, with fluffy fur.
«What?!»
The dog looks at your friend. She looks at the dog.
* [[«What a cute dog!»->dog false positive]]
* [[«That will make a mess...»->dog negative]]You reach your hand to pet the dog.
«Ouch!»
The dog bit you.
**-1 Health Point**
«What the?!»
You kick the dog. It flies across the room, shatters a glass coffee table, and disappears in a puff of purple smoke.
Your friend is stuck in motion. «What are you doing?»
«What?»
There's broken glass and tree needles everywhere from the broken table and some smashed christmas decoration.
«Reminds me to never leave you my dog for babysitting.»
* [[«A wise decision.»->dog 2]]
* [[«I wouldn't babysit your dog anyway»->dog 2]]The dog jumps into your christmas tree. The tree tilt, and fall with a huge smash, which causes the dog to disappear in a puff of purple smoke.
There's broken decorations everywhere on the ground.
«What a mess!»
Your friend shake her head. «You've never been so good with animals. That's why I would never let your babysit my dog!»
* [[«A wise decision.»->dog 2]]
* [[«I wouldn't babysit your dog anyway»->dog 2]]«Pffff...»
Your friend looks disappointed.
She looks around. «What a mess.»
«Yeah...»
She looks at the toy. «I mean, what is this? This thing is like Jumanji? Next up we'll have Robin William dressed as a monkey?»
«That would be funny.»
You both get silent.
«Now what?»
* [[«Well, we continue.»->spin after dog]]
* [[«Let's clean up first»->cleanup dog]]«I hope we get something nice this time.»
You activate the toy.
(display: "spin")
[[STOP->flu]]You and your friend pick up a broom and trash can and clean up the broken glass and christmas tree needles that littered the floor.
«Well, at least that's something.»
You manage the make the room looks not too bad.
Your friend holds the toy. «What should we do with that?»
* [[«I think I had enough»->dog enough]]
* [[«I still want to see Robin William as a monkey»->spin after dog]](set: $spinResult to "Flu")(display: "3 results")
The box pops open.
It's empty.
Your friend looks into the box. «What does it mean?»
«I sure hope it's not what it says.»
«Don't breath. I'll close the box.»
She touch her face. «Do you feel anything?»
* [[«I'm not sure...»->flu 2]]
* [[«No.»->flu 2]]
«Oh really? I still wanted to see what else it got.»
* [[«Ok.»->spin after dog]]
* [[«Ok, but just one last time.»->spin after dog]]
«What a pleasant toy...», you say sarcastically.
«Yeah...»
* [[«Let's stop now.»->pack it]]
* [[«We'll get something nice next if we try again.»->dead batteries spin]]«All right. Let's put it back in its box»
«We should clean it up a little. It still has some eggnog on it.»
Your friend goes in the kitchen to grab a towel.
You flip the toy around in your hands to find all the dirty spots.
«What's that?»
Under the toy, next to the battery compartment, is a big red button with a label:
(font: "Courier New")[For your safety / Pour votre sécurité:]
...with a red X over a pictogram of a finger pressing a button. The universal symbol for «do not press this button».
Your friend comes back. «What's that?»
«Probably their idea of a joke. Who would put a big red button written «do not press» on a child toy?»
«I guess...»
Your friend looks at your with a mischivous smile. «Sooooooo...... we press it??»
[[Press it]]
[[«No.»->don't press]]And you activate the toy again.
(display: "spin")
[[STOP->dead batteries]]Dead - Batteries - Dead
The box is silent. Nothing happens.
«What does it mean?»
«I think it means the batteries are dead.»
«What, already? We only played like, what, 8 times?»
«We should at least change the batteries if you're going to give it as a gift.»
You flip the toy to find the battery cover.
«What's that?»
Under the toy, next to the battery compartment, is a big red button with a label:
(font: "Courier New")[For your safety / Pour votre sécurité:]
...with a red X over a pictogram of a finger pressing a button. The universal symbol for «do not press this button».
«Is that a joke?»
«A joke?»
«I mean, who would put a big red button written «do not press» on a child toy?»
«I guess...»
Your friend looks at your with a mischivous smile. «Sooooooo...... we press it??»
[[Press it]]
[[«No.»->don't press]]«Whatever...»
[[«Now what?»->Toy explosion]](if: (history:) contains "pack it")[«Meh. You're boring.»
«I think we already established that.»
You hand her the toy for cleaning.
](else:)[«What? You're kidding me? For sure it's safe.»
«We don't know.»
«You're boring.»
«I think we already established that.»
«Let me see it»
You hand her the toy.
]«Oups!»
Of course, she pressed the button.
«You did this on purpose!»
«Hihi! Maybe!», she says with a big smile.
[[«Now what?»->Toy explosion]]You hear something whizzing inside.
(if: (history:) contains "dead batteries")[«I guess the batteries aren't really that much dead.»
](else:)[]The toy vibrates in your hands. Not reassuring at all. The noise intensify. Like a jet engine about to take-off.
You drop the box on the table, just in case. The toy now vibrates so much that it moves on the table by itself.
The lights in your apartment start to dim and flicker. You feel like the walls are closing on you. The floor trembles, like a train is passing by in your neighbours' room.
Your friend yells over the toy's terrible noise. «What's going on?»
You feel like you should run away, yet you cannot move or even look away of the box.
The box emits light.
So much light.
You cannot see anymore.
You try to walk away, but you really can't see.
Disoriented, you hear a piercing, shrieking cry, like someone is burning alive. [[You hope->ending]] it's only coming from the box...Suddenly, it stops.
The rooms remains silent.
The toy is now immobile on the table.
You see the display blinking.
Jackpot - Magic - Jackpot
You hear your friend. «What was that about.»
«I don't know.»
«You think it's safe now?»
You remain silent. Everything is silent.
«Yeah, I guess...»
It's not.
[[The box pops open.->ending 2]](live: 500ms)[(transition:"shudder")[<span style="font-size: 3em;">BAM!</span>(stop:)]]
You see a white explosion.
Your eyes are forced close. You are projected back by the blast. It hits you like a giant wave. The kind of wave that flips you and force you to drink gallons of sea water.
It's cold and chilly on your skin.
You hear your friend. «Ewwwww! Whooo ohhh ooooohhh! Cold! Cold! Cold!»
[[You open your eyes.->ending 3]]You look around.
Your whole apartment is covered in snow. There's snow on your table. Snow on your couch. Snow on your TV. Snow on the floor. Snow on your friend. Snow in your mouth.
It's freaking cold.
«Brrrrr!»
Once the surprise is gone, the cold becomes less intense as you get used to it.
Looking around, you can't help yourself thinking how the snow kinda gives a peaceful mood to the room.
* [[«Fucking shit.»->ending 4]]
* [[«Nice... My TV really needed some water inside.»->ending 4]]«You can be such an ass sometimes...»
It was raining on the day before Christmas eve.
<span style="font-size: 2em;">THE END</span>
[[(See what you and other players witnessed.)->Stats]]**Dreaming of a blue christmas.**
by narF
[[Start->Start]]
v112**Dreaming of a blue christmas.**
Written by narF: <a href="http://twitter.com/narF_snw" target="blank">Follow on twitter</a>
Powered by Twine: <a href="http://twinery.org/" target="blank">twinery.org</a>
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<span style="font-size:0.7em;">Ok so, at first, I wanted to put a Donate button here so that you could send me some money. But I realized that, really, I don't need money that much, especially in this period of consumerism crap. So instead, take whatever you would have wanted to give me, and sent it to charity. I suggest *La Clé Des Champs*, to help people deal with the anxiety and stress of our modern world: <a href="http://www.lacledeschamps.org/english/" target="blank">Website</a>
Or really, just gives to which ever charity you prefer: <a href="http://www.moneysense.ca/planning/2015-charity-100-grades" target="blank">List of charity</a>
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