I am loving ur masculineness

Every day, I get a strange, spammy email, either in textspeak or Russian-flavored English, trying to solicit my romantic attention in some way. Let me share them with you in this thread ...

How r you doing! I'm Kareen.
To start with, I've to that u definitely look beautiful on profile photos, I would regret forever if I didn't write and send this letter to you.
So, u attracted me and I'd like know you a bit better. So, u already know my name, what else to add, I'm blonde, my eyes are big and they r dark green, I keep my figure. I actually think that u're very attractive person and to ensure that I'm not kidding, Iwill attach some exclusive shots to my next letter, do you like the idea?)
What u think about it all?)

Hello my bunny! I am attracted by virile men, who know what they desire in this life and surely discovered the way to reach it.

I'm Darja. I am almost faultless and it is not difficult for me to do that things that somebody ask me to do. I can be trustful and naive.
My personal page: (something spammy and probably loaded with malware)

I like to be active and I like different trainings in the fitness club! I like yoga so much! I like to run near the sea shore! Regards.

Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

Some time ago I signed up with My Space. The romantic solicitations became somewhat boring, so I changed my profile to show my age as 85. Then I started getting items from "Horny Grandmoms Seeking Mature Men". Uh, I am no longer on My Space.

A challenge: can someone devise completely original text in the style described above (I have it on good authority Dan can do a wickedly convincing 'Nigerian prince' imitation)?

People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

Are you noble and tender man? Are you looking a loving wife? I'm very beautiful lady. I 'm waiting for you to live chat. See all the information with photos and video in my profile: (spammy Web site) Maybe, you dream about me?

Dear dan, You are my destiny. I love you and I always will. Writing this love letter is specially my way to express my feeling of love for you. I know I am not perfect, but I do have goals in my life. I am a honest, sincere, and true girl, and I have a lot of love to give if you are willing to be on the receiving end (spammy site) Always and Forever Yours, Violetta.

Hello my dear friend! I want to be next to my soul mate and he should be a real man! I want to share my life with my second part and it means that we should share so many things!

My name is Bogdana. I prefer to have a healthy and active lifestyle. I like coziness and comfort at my place.
My videos and photos: (spammy site) I like reading, traveling, communicating with people, riding horse, dancing, yoga, ski, swimming, and many other things that make my mood better.
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive.

Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

Are you a lonely woman in need of manly man? I am big macho manly man looking to cuddle with beautiful american woman such as you are. Please to write back or else my heart will be forever broken and sadly.

I want to be Beloved Woman, because I have never been in love, I have never
felt romantic feelings, and I have never had crazy romantic days and nights.
I want to be Beloved Woman, because I want to present to my future Beloved
Man the best romantic days and nights, I want to be The One into His Life.
I want to be Beloved Wife, because I am tired to get up into lonely and cold
bed, I am tired to cook only for myself and I need someone to take care with
all my passionate and loving heart.
I want to be Beloved Wife, because I want to take care of you, I want to be
yours The Best Friend into this life and to give to you support and True
love forever.
I want to be Caring and Loving Mother, because every True love needs
Continuation. Do you agree with me?
If my letter touched your heart, and if you want to be Beloved Man, Husband
and Father, my address is here (URL of some .ru Web site)
and you can leave here your message.

The best of luck
Elen

Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

I see a small house, a garden, the children are running and laughing, you
hug my shoulders tenderly and whisper something funny and naughty in my
ears, we laugh and smile... Our friends drive up to our house and cry
something gladly...
Each morning we wake up in one bed and first of all I see the morning light
and then I see you and the new day starts gladly and I understand that I am
happy because I will see you every morning...
These are the pictures I imagine when I think about the happy life
together... If you want to build love and if you like me, please write to
me, I will be waiting... (URL in the Ukraine)

Waiting for your letter
Lenusik D.

Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

How could you, Dan? How could you make Olga wait so after having....communicated...with her long ago!?
Your conscience is telling you that you owe it to both she and Russia to write her. Listen to your conscience!

People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

I heard from Olga over the weekend. Unfortunately, she communicated with me on my work email (how many times have I told her not to do that?) so I missed her until I checked my spam filter this morning. I was feeling left out, so this is a real ego boost for me, masculinity-wise.

As for me, I see love like a little child who needs care and love every moment, every free minute. And every partner into romantic relations has equal rights. Do you agree with me? The love life depends on everybody and if it is killed and people are not together, they are both guilty. As for me I am here not to kill love, but to give the birth to it. I have a romantic soul and every day I wait that my second half will find me. But I can't find my soul mate here, in routine life. But I always think that romantic correspondence is very interesting and it can be the beginning of romantic story. You live so far, but I feel you as you live at the next street. I hope that letters from you will open me your heart, your soul and you will be glad to get acquainted with such pretty lady like me. As for me, I am ready to get the birth to the true love between you and me. There are coordinates where you can find me very easy http://scam.scam.scam.ua and don't be late with your reply, I am here and I am waiting.

Bye

Elena D.

Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

Hello again! How are you? Yesterday I wrote to you the letter and sent a photo. But I have not received your answer. You do not want to have dialogue with me to learn me better? I very much would want to learn you better, and to get acquainted with you. But if you do not want to do it, I am sorry for anxiety.

Ekaterina

Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

Hi, my name is Ofelia.
I'm looking for fun in here, I mean I need somebody to spend time together.
I am fond of such things as playing some music on guitar, dancing, watching action TV shows, I also really like skin diving!
I enjoy having sex with men who can turn me on.. I'm pretty sure that you're not against sex, r u?)
Anyway, write me back. It is interesting to see what u got on ur mind)

“As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fall”
Jean-Jacques Rousseau

RJ I am glad, that the case was gave to me to write to you the letter! Whether we can get
acquainted with you more close? I am not assured in true relations while people
do not investigate each other more close. Today I shall not speak about me directly
in details. I wish to receive your answer then we can investigate each other more close.
Write to me on my personal e-mail address
I send you my photo. Angelina