Bacon Tree — Ned Martin’s Amused

Bacon Tree

Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food. No
other humans had been seen for days and then the pioneers saw an old Jewish
Rabbi sitting beneath a tree.

“Is there some place ahead where we can get food?”

“Vell, I tink so,” the old man said, “but I vouldn’t go up dat hill und down
de udder side. Somevun tole me you’d run into a big bacon tree.”

“A bacon tree?,” asked the wagon train leader. Yah, an bacon tree.

Vould I lie? Trust me. I vouldn’t go dere.”

The leader goes back and tells his people what the Rabbi said. “So why did
he say not to go there?” a person asked. Other pioneers said, “Oh, you know
those Jewish people - they don’t eat bacon.”

So the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side. Suddenly, Indians
attack them from everywhere and massacre all except the leader who manages to
escape and get back to the old Rabbi.

Near dead, the man shouts, “You fool! You sent us to our deaths! We followed
your route but there was no bacon tree, just hundreds of Indians who killed
everyone but me!

The old Jewish man holds up his hand and says, “Oy, vait a minute.” He quickly
picks up an English-Yiddish dictionary and begins thumbing through it. “Oy Gevalt,
I made myself such ah big mishtake! It vuzn’t a bacon tree... it vuz a ham bush!