Monday, January 25, 2010

Nawwab and I: Invisible Chastity Belts

N: You should go into manufacturing.t: Me? Manufacturing?N: Well you have friends who can put this together. You don't have to mop the floors. Just put up some seed money, gather your friends and do a start-up and it will take off.t: Arrggh! This is not another hare brained Syedtester? I suppose you have a product in mind?N: Chastity belts.t: Hmmmm...what have you been sniffing lately? And have you been inhaling it too?N: Woof woof! Just because I am a dog ...t: It has nothing to do with hydrants Nawwab!N: Cheap shot.t: OK. Apologies. But chastity belts are so passe.N: You don't know.t: The ultra orthodox use it...er thrust it....er imprison their women in it?N: And Farhat Hashmi clones also encourage women to embrace it.t: Embrace? How embarrassing.N: Regardless of your revulsion there is money to be made here.t: I am allergic to it.N: Yes you are, but you use it. And now there is a niche.t: Alright, you would not let me return to the Redskins unless I hear you out.N: What is it with you and perennial losers? Leafs, Jays, Redskins?t: Who mentioned cheap shots earlier?N: Look, be serious. There is a huge market for Chastity belts.t: Yeah, yeah BDSMs.N: No, it is not about tops and bottoms. These are aimed at real people, orthodox, controlling who use it almost daily.t: Hey, Nawwab you are serious about this.N: Woof woof! In the wake of the CrotchBomber, airport security has been further tightened.t: That delusional idiot! Now they would scan the whole body.N:That is my point. Old chastity belts would show up on the body scanners.t: And so you want me to manufacture invisible chastity belts?N: Now you are barking... er talking.t: And how would they be invisible?N: Heard of stealth bombers? Modify the same alloys to escape body scanner detection. There, I gave this away.t: You are incredible, Nawwab.N: And with good marketing campaign you can sell it to both men and women.t: Men also?N: Why not? Don't they have....t: OK OK no need to explain this further...some grown up children also read this.N: And there is more. Lil S says that once you develop this alloy that would not be detected by the body scanners, you can branch into coated nipple piercings.t: You are on a roll Nawwab.N: Woof woof, and you can also coat tampons.t: Lil S? Do I know her?N: How do you know she is a her?t: I learn from you O Nawwab!