Thursday, December 03, 2009

Slab's First Fist 1

It started like any other fine morn, except for one thing.Little Slab's fist was throbbing and aching like it was on fire.

"Hey Ern'!" he yelled to his brother on the upper bunk.

"Yeah Slab'?""Dude you woke me up with all your throbbing down there. What's goin' on?""I dunno Ern, my fist is aching and pounding! That's never happened before!""Wow! Hey Slab! That's your first burning fist! That means you've reached pooberty!""It hurts Ern'! Make it stop!"Ernie: "It's not gonna stop on its own Slab. There's only one cure for a throbbing fist!"Slab: "Ow! lick lick lick, Ow, Ow! Help me, Ern! Help me!"Ernie leaps off the bunk."Slab! I know exactly what you need!""Yeah, suck it up Slab! Be proud of your aching fist! There's a purpose for it! It's all part of God's plan!""What you need kid, is a nice fat soft sissy to sink that thing into!"Slab: "Where do we get one of those Ern'?""I know where there's one!""C'mon kid! We'll take the sting outta your thing!"Ernie: "YES!"Slab: "What's that, Ern?"

"That's a nerd, Slab! A real fat one! See its freckles? Check out his Char Wars collectibles! What a fruitcake!"Slab: "Hey I've never seen one of those before! He's funny! What's he for?"Ernie: "He's God's gift to your fist!"Ernie" Hey, Bobby Bigloaf! We caught ya!"

Ernie: "Whatcha doin' there fat boy?"Bobby: "I'm stirring up crap on the blogosphere! I'm arguing toons with other toon fans! I even get to threaten them with physical harm 'n' stuff!"Ernie:"It's easy to be tough inside your room with Mommy home isn't it, Bobby Bigloaf!"Bobby: "You bet! Hey...what's that thing on the end of Slab's arm?"

This is really hilarious. I like the intelligent humor you used. It always seems to be a common trend to want to punch the crap out of each other once you hit puberty, but the way you portrayed this was well played my good Sir.

Haha, this is great. I like the setup you have here - it's smooth, almost natural but still with some strange awkwardness about it. And I also like the updated characterisation for the nerd (as in, the little extra bits people don't usually think to add cause they're too new) - really stands out for me. I wasn't sure whether I liked this one or not at the start, but it's grown on me.

I can't wait to see what twist happens next. I hope it's a huge subversion of the expected outcome!

I read this out loud to my husband (and did voices) and I could hardly continue at times. You so crazy. It has me sincerely wondering if this actually occurs at pooberty :S Ernie licking his fit is a riot.

The furry is PERFECT. When will someone make a website called Toon Tirade? Time will tell.

haha, i really like the double entendre here. you really play it straight and if you don't go flagrantly over the line, it hugs that golden edge that looney tunes did where it'll be enjoyable for kids AND adults at the same time. dunno if this is something conscious you think about.

i'd love to hear your theory on creating material for KIDS and ADULTS. straight humor is some of the hardest stuff to do