A place of retreat for this mother of seven (currently fighting Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer) to speak on the joys and challenges of life for a Catholic family immersed in American culture.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Saved, By the Gentleman In the Back

We went to a family wedding in Carmel on Sunday. It was a beautiful, traditional Jewish ceremony, one of those weddings where everyone in the room really feels how much the bride and groom love one another. I cried through much of it, and I'm not even pregnant!

While we wouldn't have missed it for the world, we were more than a little anxious about bringing six children, to this (or any!) wedding. The groom was Jay's step brother and we were especially concerned about reflecting well on Jay's mom and step dad. We wanted them to enjoy the wedding thoroughly without any scenes or distractions of any kind from our brood. We wanted them to be proud of our family in front of theirs.

So, it was with much preparation and caution that we approached the synagogue. The children were under strict instruction to behave, prepared in every way possible. The bride was kind enough to find someone to play with Tony on the nearby playground during the ceremony so we could relax and enjoy. Even though this significantly improved our chances of anonymity, it by no means guaranteed them, so we were still on eggshells.

Until, that is, we were saved by an elderly guest near the back.

In the middle of the ceremony, this gentleman called out something that I couldn't quite understand. I thought, crazily, that he said, "Who farted?", but I knew it couldn't be. It just couldn't. He was a respectable gentleman who had been nothing but polite in my past experiences with him. And no one would say that during a wedding, of course. So I shrugged it off, even as he got up and moved to another pew. A few people turned around and looked at him, but, like me, I don't believe they thought they heard correctly.

A few minutes later, he got up again and moved back to his original spot. After he was settled, at the critical moment when the couple was about to the seal the deal, he repeated it loud and clear: "Who farted?"

This time, more than a few people turned around. Some young adults began shaking silently with laughter. His wife gave him a swat on the arm and told him to be quiet. The bride and groom did not seem to notice, but just about everyone else did. It was at this moment that I smiled to myself and began to relax.

Because no matter what our kids did during the rest of the wedding or reception, it wasn't that. Someone else logged the entry for the most outrageously memorable moment of the wedding, and for this I am truly grateful.

Who knows what caused this normally well-mannered man to burst out with his question at the time that he did. He is a lovely man in our experience and this seemed out of character. Goodness knows I didn't wish to question his motives as I conversed with him at the reception. Whatever the cause, I am thankful that he lightened my experience, so long as it did not bother the bride and groom.

7 comments:

I'm glad you made it through the ceremony with no incident from your kids. What a relief!

As to the elderly man...my first guess is dementia. My husband's refined grandmother apparently began cursing like a sailor in her last few years. She had had at least 40 mini-strokes, which had been undetected.

So, one day, WE may be the target of our children's fervent prayers to "make it through" whatever ceremony without US doing anything to embarass THEM.

I'm not sure why he said what he said. I talked to him for a long time after the wedding and he was as sharp and witty as ever. Sometimes we just blurt things out for no particular reason. Perhaps that is what happened here. I know it certainly happens to me.

In any event, I share this story only from the viewpoint of a mother juggling small children who appreciated the pressure being removed from her family. I know many of you who read this blog can relate to that. :-)

Having attended the wedding and knowing the elderly gentlemen for some 35 years, I would say that he was a bit mischievous. For one thing, both comments were made when the Rabbi paused. Also, he moved to the center(still in back) so that he might be more clearly heard.

He was making a statement.Perhaps some more inclined toward ceremony were offended.I can even understand that. However, for me it added a lighthearted moment and for that I am grateful.