I agree completely with bicpl; if the wife in a couple knows the husband is playing with another woman and has given her consent (and vice versa of course) I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. As I have said before, Jay and I are considering this. Although we are still in communication and discussion about this the one thing we have both insisted on is that the other knows who we are with and have given complete consent; if one of us does not like the potential partner we say no and there are no arguments, no questions asked. I know that we have found that most people do not play with couples that play alone unless they already know them; this is because you simply don't have the time to investigate and make sure that this is really someone playing with their spouses consent and not a cheating husband or wife. Shell

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Gina,

I don't want to make you mine, I just want to borrow you for 2 or 3 hrs.

Lake Worth FL

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Adultery is defined as extramarital sex...swinging is within the marriage, and you are not coveting the other person's mate (wanting them to be your own, for example and having the person's mate knocked off, as did King David to get Bathsheba).

Frankly, anyone can justify anything they feel they are doing "wrong." We don't think we're doing anything wrong. If we felt we were, then we wouldn't do it, as it would be hurtful, not only to others, but to ourselves.

It's what your intentions are, not what your deed are, that are of importance in this area. My spirituality is VERY personal and private and it corresponds nicely with my sexuality...they're all about myself as a loving, giving person. I am at my most mentally, emotionally and physically pure when I am having sex.

Those may be seen as mystical, confusing, contradictory statements, but I do know myself well enough to "know what I'm talking about" in reference. Gina

San Antonio TX

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we can and it's not adultry... we're not married. Easy enough huh?

Lake Worth FL

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There have been a lot of good points made here on both sides of the coin. However, can anyone reconcile swinging with religious beliefs? Can anyone, in clear conscious, have sex with another woman/man and not call it adultery? This is a question that I have not ever heard anyone answer.

Glenshaw PA

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Mars, I agree with the fundamental nature of your post. However, I disagree. I understand that alot of women lose most if not all interest in sex as they get older. Alot but definately not all, but I agree with alot. And I see your point when you say isn't it better for a man to discreetly get what he needs, it makes him happier at home, whats the harm...however I do disagree. Lying to your wife is not okay. I know that its frustrating when you want to experience sex and she or he is not interested. But I honestly think that its better to sit down with your spouse and discuss your needs vs. sneaking behind their back. Shelly

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I apologize I really took the time now to fully try to understand what you all wrote. I believe or hope most of you were writing to one person in general although your statements are easily misinterpreted. Some comments were "we don't play with married partners swinging alone cheating is cheating", I don't think you meant it exactly that way or at least the way I took it.sorry

Paul

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2for,

What you're doing involves no deception. If we decide to entertain a single, be in male or female, and they tell us they are married but it's ok with their spouse we simply ask to meet both of them in person to verify it. Then you get the "well she/he isn't available."

We're not going to help someone cheat on their mate.

Lake Worth FL

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Man I couldn't help but answer this forum. Swinging alone is not cheating, as long as the spouse knows. Cheating is deception and betrayal. We do swing alone and as a couple. My wife knows everything. We enjoy swinging together more then separately, but sometimes due to time and preference we swing alone. Some of you have seriously badgered swinging alone and yes many couples in here are cheating (spouse doesn't know), but for some thats not the case. There's nothing wrong with swinging alone as long if you both are comfortable with it! If swinging alone is cheating even when spouse knows then swinging in general in all levels is cheating! My wife is always first to me and she knows it, and I know I am always first to her. We swing alone and those who know us know its ok. It's a shame some of you can be so open minded to swing but yet so narrow minded to criticize swinging alone its not any different.