Sunday, August 17, 2008

stoli and advil

sunday evenings are usually a little difficult for tiddy because i know in the back of my mind i will have to return to work tomorrow and all of the fun i had over the weekend is a distant memory. that is why i have made it a policy to enjoy every day of the summer as though it were a saturday. otherwise, you find yourself living for the weekends and wishing away five perfectly good days in between.

i just poured myself a glass of merlot out of the "bota box." the liquor store was out of "pinot evil" so i had to improvise and i just refuse to drink wine out of a bottle anymore. i am sitting on the porch overlooking the lake and watching my very hungover brother-in-law try to navigate his way through grilling a hamburger. although i have been there myself many, many times, i find it difficult to feel any remorse for him since he somehow managed to drink my ENTIRE HANDLE of stoli vodka last night. when i went to sleep around midnight, the bottle was three quarters full. when I woke up, there was about one and a half shots left. although i find myself marveling at the sheer mechanics of him being able to pull off such a feat, i am also left with an empty bottle of stoli. and that just breaks my heart.

judging from his wobbly gait and slow movements, it is obvious that this hangover has my brother-in-law by the short and curlies. if i were feeling generous of spirit toward him right now, i would recommend he take four advil… BRAND NECESSARY. i know that there are some people who believe generic ibuprofen does the job, but not tiddy. that is one of the only things i am a stickler about. in fact, in the wake of our dwindling economy, i have recommended to mister ferguson several times that we start buying the generic brands of some of our favorite products. toilet paper, detergent, mustard, pasta…even nacho’s dog bones! but not advil and not fabric softener. i have and always will use snuggle blue sparkle scent.

back to the hangover. over the years, i have heard several different methods from friends who swear up and down they have THE ANSWER to alleviating the headache, nausea and general malaise that usually accompanies an evening of drinking A HANDLE OF STOLI. my friend dj WOW likes to down an entire bottle of orange pedialyte, something he insists must be brand necessary. apparently, the drug store brand just doesn’t do the job. rohm ’08 claims that a "detox tea" and a vitamin water energy flavor does the trick for him. my brother likes to pour something called "goody’s headache powder" into a fountain soda and drink it. i’ve tried that one and it actually isn’t that bad!

for tiddy, four advil and a REGULAR coke—not diet—and i am on the road to recovery. i would love to hear all of your hangover cures—for personal use and to also share with my readers. email them to tiddyferguson@gmail.com and i will devote another blog to this very important subject, as the hangover is something we will never fully understand.
thanks to my new friends eaton beaver and anita mandalay for sharing their beer and great music with us this weekend!

have a great week! please don’t feel sorry for my brother-in-law. everyone knows not to drink all of tiddy’s stoli, and he has learned his lesson. and remember, tomorrow is not monday, it is another glorious summer day for you to enjoy—so get out there and make the most of it. there aren’t too many left until we break out our cords and sweaters!