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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida DUI suspect arrested after she broadcast
her wild ride on Periscope.
Details at Boneheads
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Today, October 14, in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman
forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
--- Lester B. Pearson (1897 - 1972)
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too
old to set a bad example.
--- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Nobody knows the age of the human race,
but everybody agrees that it is
old enough to know better.
--- Socratex
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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
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Old age is when former classmates are so gray and
wrinkled, they don't recognize you.
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While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room
of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his
full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a guy with his name
had been in my high school class almost 50 years ago. Upon
seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was
too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my
teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school.
"Yes," he replied. "Graduated in 1955."
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely and then asked,
"What did you teach?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Whitney Beall,
23,
Lakeland,
Florida
DUI suspect arrested after she broadcast
her wild ride on Periscope
Drinking and driving don't mix, but it's an especially
dangerous cocktail when you're live streaming your wild
ride on Periscope.
Police in Lakeland, Florida, arrested 23-year-old Whitney
Beall Friday night after receiving 911 calls from Periscope
viewers reporting that a drunken driver was using the app
to broadcast herself, according to WFTV.com.
Periscope is an app owned by Twitter that lets people
livestream events over social media.
Police said Beall told viewers she was "drunk," F---ing drunk,"
and didn't know where she was. At one point, she said had a
flat tire, according to Fox13.com.
Thanks to numerous 911 calls, officers were able to track down
her Toyota Corolla.
Although Lakeland Police officers are not authorized to use
Periscope, one of the officers added the app to his own phone
in order to track the suspect, according to WTSP.com.
When the officers initiated a traffic stop, Beall hit a curb,
according to WFTV.com
"I really hope I don't get a DUI," she allegedly said seconds
before hitting a sign in the median, a moment captured on video.
When Beall was finally apprehended, officers said she smelled
of booze, spoke slowly and had bloodshot, glossy eyes,
according to TBO.com.
Police said Beall failed a sobriety test and refused a breath
test to determine her blood-alcohol level. The suspect was
booked into the Polk County Jail on DUI charges.
She was released Saturday on a $500 bond, according to
jail records.
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Tech Support Pits
From: Dave
Re: PDF reader
Dear Webby
I hope all is well by you. I have heard some good things
about Nitro PDF reader. I wanted to know if you heard
anything about it.
Dave
Hi Dave
Yes, I have written favorably about it, and have used Nitro
for many years.
It is quite OK.
Using it to fill forms takes a bit of experimenting.
You almost have to read the instructions!
Once you get used to it, though, it works quite well.
Scan your signature and save it as a jpg or pnp file.
Then you can even insert your signature onto a form,
and then fax it, without ever using up any of YOUR paper.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the
Duke Of Edinbourgh over for a cup of tea. The
conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was
telling the Duke about her new prize horse. After a
spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke
said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!"
So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to
admire the horse. At one point the Queen walked around
the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling fart,
with a smell that brought tears to everybody's eyes and
blistered the paint ... let's just say it was awesome..
The Queen turned a bit red and said,
"Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!"
"Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had
thought it was the horse!"
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Quick Bread from Dumpling Mix
I ran out of bread today, so I tried making up two packets
of dumpling mix into a loaf. It came out light and aerated.
The texture looked a little rubbery, so I sliced and toasted
it. The crust was a bit brittle and tended to flake off when
slicing.
It tasted really nice toasted. I am thinking of experimenting
with rolls next time. The mix that I used required only water
to be added, so possibly a good option for an emergency
food kit.
By Verity Pink [38]
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Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

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Mrs. Trent, seated in her living room, heard the back
door slam. Thinking it was her young son, she called,
"I'm in here, darling. I've been waiting for you."
There was no answer for a moment and then a strange
voice faltered,
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I ain't your regular milkman."
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Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a
bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles.
The Priest walked up and asked him what he was doing?
Little Johnny replied, "I'm looking at the most powerful
liquid in the world."
The Priest said, "But Johnny, Holy Water is the most
powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you
put Holy Water on your forehead every day, bad thoughts
will pass away."
Little Johnny said, "Big deal! This is TURPENTINE!
If you put this on a cat's butt,
he'll pass a Harley Davidson, maybe even a Kawasaki!"
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Leaky concrete. This is amazing!

Today, October 14, in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman
forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England.
1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands
for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile.
1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement
for the international marketing rights for the phonograph.
1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film
"Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion picture.
1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee, WI.
Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he continued
with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured at the scene
of the shooting.
1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed
record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour.
1930 Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy."
1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the
League of Nations.
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather
than face execution after being accused of conspiring against
Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow.
1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade
liberated the city of Athens.
1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck
Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first American
to break the sound barrier.
1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton Heston,
began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 people.
1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested
the idea of a Peace Corps.
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S.
intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet
medium-range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S.
President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the
naval "quarantine" of Cuba.
1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. spacecraft
was transmitted from Apollo 7.
1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death
of President Nasser.
1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of Kirkuk.
1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well in
Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours.
2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant politicians
of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole responsibility for running
Northern Ireland.
2015 smiled.