Kirsty Needham

A NSW Nationals MP verbally attacked a female cabinet minister, threatening to "tear her a new orifice" and saying she had "never had a real man", because he was angry at her department's decision.

The attack on then environment minister Robyn Parker was made by Murray-Darling MP John Williams in front of about 100 Nationals members during his bid for preselection for the upper house in April.

Ms Parker was raped as a teenager, and had spoken about her ordeal in parliament in 2004, recalling she nailed her bedroom windows shut in the aftermath.

Multiple sources who attended the Nationals preselection meeting on April 4 at Parliament House said they were offended by Mr Williams' comments. The event was filmed, but the slurs went uncensured by party leaders in the room, including deputy premier Andrew Stoner.

Mr Williams emerged as an endorsed candidate, albeit in the almost unwinnable fourth position.

Critics said the attack highlighted a "boys' club" culture within the Nationals that was alienating women from politics. The leak of the incident comes as the number of women in the NSW upper house from all parties is set to plummet.

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In a letter sent to Ms Parker the next day, Mr Williams acknowledged the incident: "Regrettably, I let my emotions take over and said some things that probably destroyed my chances of a winnable place."

Most of the letter, which was copied to Mr Stoner, urged Ms Parker to reverse the decision of her "megalomaniac bureaucrats".

Mr Williams told Fairfax he could not recall his exact words in the meeting, but the letter was an apology, and he respected women in politics.

"I did some serious damage to myself by letting my emotions get the better," he said. "If I had my time over again I would never have said it. It was a stupid thing to say."

Contacted by Fairfax Media about the incident, Ms Parker said she had spent her entire career trying to boost the number of women in politics and "behaviour such as this and ongoing attitudes, not just this isolated incident, means we are taking three steps backwards".

"When I am trying to encourage young women to take leadership roles, this is the sort of behaviour they are up against," she said. "It's no wonder they choose an alternative path."

Ms Parker, the Liberal member for Maitland, said it was "sad" that she and her family had been attacked, instead of policy being debated.

She emphasised such sexist behaviour was not isolated to the Nationals and Liberal parties, "but is very prevalent in NSW politics".

"The incident to me demonstrates an attitude that women are weak and under the control of men," she said. "Nothing could be further from the truth in my case."

No women stood for NSW Nationals preselection in the 13 seats contested in the federal election. The number of female Nationals in the NSW upper house is set to fall from three to two.

In the recent preselection for Ballina, the former chair of the Nationals' Women's Council, Sharon Cadwallader, said in her speech it was "not a good look" that only two of 19 lower house Nationals MPs were women.

Ms Cadwallader, a long-serving Ballina councillor, lost the preselection to a man who had recently joined the party.

Ms Cadwallader opposed gender quotas in favour of merit selection when she was the chair of the Women's Council.

"It's not happening," she said this week. "Women aren't being elected on merit."

A spokesman for Mr Stoner said it was not the deputy premier's role to censure another member in a party forum.