Monday, January 11, 2010

Top 10 Mortifying Ways to Die

A few days ago, I was wrapped up in my blankets trying to ward off the -27C wind chills. I wanted to socialize but the prospect of freezing my ass off (in a very literal way) prevented me from leaving the confines of my down blanketed couch. Compromising between complete anti-social behaviour and face-to-face interaction, I started to catch up with another fellow nurse on MSN. When two nurses who are sleep deprived and lean towards the odd side of normal, we come up with a list of top ten ways to die. The hilarity was far too much to keep to myself, so without any further ado, here is our list of the top 10 mortifying ways to die.

10. Having a vasovagal episode while taking a huge dump after being constipated for a week.

Harry Reid choking to death on the foot he just stuck in his mouth? PS it's a Fuiji SR 2000 with some basic 35 mm functions in it. Around 400 bucks. Go to Confessions of A Pioneer Woman...awesome blog with some great simple to understand tutorials on Fstops, shutter speed and apertures.

Any sort of dying is made all the more embarrassing when underneath your sweatpants, you're wearing full bondage gear. Definitely something that will be commented upon either during or after your passing.

Sepsis from infx secondary to getting a sex toy stuck on his scrotum (I believe the item is known as a "ball stretcher"). ME couldn't tell whether the infx was caused by loss of circulation to the scrotum, or trauma inflicted by the pt when trying to remove the device with a hacksaw.

#7 - after my first case, I so wanted to do a PSA about "not only is this really dangerous, but you'll look really stupid when they find you."

About Me

Obvious Disclaimer

I like my job. I do not want to lose it for violating patient confidentiality. I have a fairly active imagination so altering identifying details is something I enjoy. Everything here is altered to protect patient confidentiality. If you think that a story is referring to you, it’s not. If you think a picture is from your medical exam, it’s not.