Pet-Peeves!

I was browsing through my blogging archives some time back, and realized that I have thisone pose, which I seldom repeat! It stood out to me whenever I saw it. So thought I shall share this unintentional posing, which I have been doing over the years, with you!

- New-mothers need to filter their updates on FB. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy! (No sarcasm there!) However, like you would never share your own pooping-burping-pms'ing cycle on a public platform, similar rules apply towards your toddler. No really! What? ... you didn't know? !?!? Well, now you do! :)

- Parents need to discipline their kids. Specially when they plan to venture outside the boundaries of their own home. We get it, you are over the moon that you have a kid! But so have millions of other people over thousands of years. I bet even your parents thought you were 'special' but didn't turn out that way in the end, now did you?

- Old people need to be less grumpy. Yes, I know old age is hard and and we live in a multi-cultural-confused-world. But seriously, how hard is it just smile and be polite? These are simple characteristics which hold true over all the cultures/countries! I have no idea about where I might end up 50 years from now but I would definitely try and smile a lot and not be grumpy! [Do not be grumpy. Do not be grumpy. Do not be grumpy. #nottoself]

- Indian women (in U.S. and everywhere else!) need to be less judgmental towards other Indian women. Guess what, ladies - It is quiet alright to hug and snuggle up your husband/boyfriend in public. It is really not illegal (really!) even if you were told other wise while growing up! So stop staring. NOW!

- Don't judge us by our clothes. Some of us like to dress smartly. Some of us are even stylish. Some of us can look good without spending a bomb. Oh! and our husbands don't judge us for our shopping either, 'coz they know they married economically-and-fashionably-savvy-women! So don't blame judge us for your poor dressing sense. Thank You! P.S. If you want I'd be happy to help. Just ask! :)

- Being on H4 is not a like being on exile. (Backstory: H4 visa is given to women arriving in the U.S. as a dependent to their working husband but are not permitted to work *sigh!*) Yes, we don't work. Yes, we don't earn. Yes, we are educated. Yes, we did leave our careers behind. But NO! we don't get bored. Besides being economically-and-fashionably-savvy-women we are also resourceful, have hobbies, run our households, and indulge in activities which we couldn't while we were working. So we are probably more productive than all of you 'judgemental' people put together. Wanna bet?

I agree I agree I agreeI would like to add 1 more point: People being judgmental when they see that you are married for X number of years and still haven't got any kids and then giving you all sorts of lectures on "Why to have kids?" I hate them :-x

I totally hear you on those pet peeves. The visa that I am awaiting gives me the same rights - I am allowed to live in India but not work (after 1 year of marriage I'm allowed to apply for a work visa or PIO) so I'm forced to be a housewife for now, too.

And yes, snuggling with husbands and holding their hands in public is normal! And I'm not going to stop, despite the funny looks I get! ;)

Its annoying when your news feed is flooded with 'yet-another-milestone-achieved' updates from new parents. But when it comes to parents and their own kids... all such rules get shattered! Agree with all other points!

Oh god yes!!!! I agree whole heartedly on the over-sharing on Facebookn- some people really need to keep somethings to themselves. Like no one needs to know about your kid's pooping schedule! Gross!!! Ditto for badly behaved kids, I hate to sound like a prim and proper lady but seriously when I was a kid I would be skinnned for acting the way some kids do these days. Over the weekend I was stnading in line at a bookstore when a kid tried cutting the line with his proud mother giving him a thumbs-up!!!! I was the only one who asked him to move to the end of the line. Who are these parents?!

i agree on the peeves, i know what you are talking about..about number of years of marriage, the question about why no kids, and the ones who have it, how they push the others "ohh you are missing this feeling, trust me, parenthood is awesome"

yaa it is awesome, but dude, let others take a call on their lives and babies !!

Tanvii - what an awesome post. Ok, first that over the shoulder pose is a classic, and you do it well, so keep it up! Secondly, your helpful lifestyle tips had me laughing out loud - especially the one about the pooping babies.Third, come to Toronto, the South Asian/Indian/Pakistani women are far less judgemental. We love - no hate!

Oh,superb,Tanvii,superb!You know what,you're like that cousin of mine(only a smarter,prettier and more mature version)who says ALL THOSE THINGS others needed to know(about themselves and others)but NOT A SINGLE PERSON can be mad at them!I feel like getting a printout of this post of yours and wear it on my tees.Seriously,if people know these things only,I don't think I'll ever need to have 'the talk'(or have a fight at least)!You're unbelievably awesome!And please keep posing.I'm a fan of that pose.

You said it!! I'm with you on each and every single point. Old grumpy and cranky people are really annoying, I agree. It was fun reading through, you should post such articles more often. :)As for the pictures, you do a good job with the head turn poses. :D I like. ;)x

I've always admired your poses. Conscious or not, you've adopted the classic postures of professional models which are very flattering. I've secretly tried to mimick you but with no success: you have natural fluidity that I lack.

And I'm with you on the mothers oversharing and old people acting grumpy. Sorry to hear that women judge each other; that's so pointless.

Okay this post is perfect. First of all, I just went through some of my archives and found my "typical" pose as well. Second, I totally cannot stand the constant baby updates on facebook! Its awesome that you have a child, but I don't need to know every time he/she mumbles, falls asleep, or anything else of the sort!hehe :)

There should seriously be a Facebook for new parents so they can share all their poop stories without annoying us. Parents who don't discipline their kids (especially on airplanes) should have to pay $1000 more per flight. No hope in my opinion for grumpy people and judgmental Indian women. H4-ness is what we make of it! Anyone who thinks our lives are wasted can &^% @(*^%!

Another one to add to the list is people who brag about all their trips & purchases on Facebook. As if they're the only ones who've ever bought at iPad or sat on a plane!

I totally totally totally agree with you on the judging by clothes point!And about disciplining kids, I wish kids behave like pets.. when we say chup, theres no way for them to move :P I have a pet and my sister has a kid :)

omg tanvi!! totally agree with everything here specially abt the children! argh. People in india look at me like i am an alien when i openly get annoyed with misbehaving children in public.theyre like WTF.some have even asked me at times if i am drunk.. since its such a blasphemous thing to say!

In malls there are such annoying ones. When ur in a que they step on your shoes and are loud and omg the most irritating is when people bring their kid to a movie hall when its not even a kids movie. what is childs fault in that,obviously he`ll get bored in aarakshan or ZNMD!!!

this is one of your posts which is my favorite. You are simply awesome. Specially 4th and 5th point makes sense to me after observing here in states. In addition to the ones you have written, I felt one more which am still trying to come on terms with is Indians(most not all) not passing a smile when they see fellow Indian in US. May be that's only me who finds it different. But when I see a Non Indian passing by with a smile it only leaves a question in my mind.

Anyways I love your content what-so ever it is, it so refreshing and learning. I just started out a blog and you are the inspiration behind it.

you covered all of mine too, I so want to say these things to people on their face and please can someone tell Indian women to wear proper clothes on a beach if not then please don't jump in the ocean wearing a salwar kameez(shudder in horror)

I hope you don't mind me calling this the BEST post of the year :D First, I love the pose! I have a *thing* for turn-around or whatever you call it, pose. It's sexy.

About the bullet points, I hate new mommies flaunting their toddlers :-/ Some have ugly kids, yes I am mean that way and yet, every second update is about how cute their children are. One such, she has a BIG cheek baby, I am actually scared of her daughter! She could eat me!!

I love the sentiment behind this post! I think we can all afford to be a little less judgmental of people in general. You brought up some great points - I know I have done my share of judging of stay-at-home wives and that's just wrong. Maybe my NY resolution should be less judging, more accepting.....

Agree in all thes points! But I don´t understand the need for H4 status, that you stay dependent and can´t work? Oh well, probably with all the jobless people in the US, yeah? got to prioritize their own people first. Anways, I enjoyed this post. Happy new year. :)

My pet peeve relating to posts on FB is people who go to a bar/night club/hot spot/party and have to pose with their drinks and bunch of their friends and try and "show" what a good time they are having. I guess if they didn't post it how would you know what a rocking social life they have.

I guess to each his own, it depends on what that individual finds special/memorable in his day to day life and wants to share with others....