12 April 2008

I know, I know, it's not Thursday. But next Thursday I will be at RT Pittsburgh and that particular day will be the most hectic, from workshops in the morning to poker tournaments at midnight.

I posted this about a year ago at this time, but it's a goodie and it's all still true, with a few tweaks!

(If flying...) You have one suitcase for promo, one suitcase for costumes, and no room for regular clothes.

Your carry-on bag is stuffed with healthy snacks, because from past experience you know after three days of all-chocolate-all-the-time, you'll be desperate for a piece of fresh fruit.

(If driving...) You bargain with your long-suffering husband to remove both rear bench seats out of the back of the van, and you still worry there won't be enough room for all your promo.

You're sweating bullets waiting for your Vistaprint order to arrive in time, because you realized at the last possible minute you don't have a bookmark for your latest release. You designed the bookmark three months ago, but forgot to actually order it.

You have writers cramp because along with your newly arrived bookmarks, you forgot to autograph the other 600 you already had.

You cause a scene in the grocery store when you find post-Easter bags of Hershey Kisses on sale for a dollar a bag.

You burn calories by working up a sweat trying on every piece of clothing you own, praying something other than your bathrobe will fit.

You burn more calories working yourself into a lather searching for the one and only strapless bra you own, the one you swear was in your underwear drawer yesterday but has now disappeared. Your husband finds it stuffed in the back corner of the bottom drawer. You swear the faeries are playing with your mind. Again.

Your life is divided into two parts: Before RT, and after RT. ("I have this great idea, but let's wait until after RT to talk about it because my brain is fried.")

For every item you check off on your RT to-do list, two more items mysteriously appear.

No matter how well and how far in advance you plan, the last three days before departure are Hell. Pure and simple.

The color cartridge on your printer will run out of blue ink at precisely the moment you need it most. You will not have a spare handy, and it will be 5 minutes after OfficeMax closes.

The OfficeMax staff knows you by your first name. They don't bat an eye when you show up in your ratty sweats and house slippers and ask them to print out a copy of your book cover in poster-size. You know, the one with the nekkid man-butt on the cover.

You step up your facial exercises so your cheeks won't hurt so much from wearing your best "Yes, I know I write dark and bloody paranormal romance, but I'm really a nice person and I won't bite" smile for 12 hours straight.

You have just a few square inches of space left in your suitcase. You must decide between packing toothpaste, or your rum flask. You choose the rum.

I wanted something larger than a regular 8-1/2 by 11 size that my home printer could handle. I wanted the finished product to be at least 12 inches wide so it would show up against the sea of books and tables that is the RT booksigning!

It's totally optional, of course. All you really need is yourself, a smile, some bookmarks, and a pen that works.