Holla! Back From My Hols...etc.

Friday, 24 November 2017

Hi. Remember that season of RHONYC when there was the middle aged white lady who thought she was all urban and said "Holla!" instead of "Hi"....just me? Good times...I confess RHONYC is the one "Housewives" (Literally NONE of these women are housewives though, like at the beginning a couple were, now it is literally just mature (not really but...) single ladies fighting over the creepiest leftover bachelors on earth! Except Carol, she's too cool for that shiz and only dates musicians and toyboys)...but still I watch, I find it weirdly addictive.

Sorry...I am still a tiny bit jetlagged. Like I'm 90% over it but am still having brain mists, doing silly stuff like sending the husband on a turn the kitchen inside out hunt for a meat thermometer that, wait for it, was in the utensil drawer all along! Ha ha it's FUN being married to me! I'm also trying to get any Christmas crazies out of my system before December actually hits. This includes:

Finding the "right" ribbon for my tree topper bow I want to make (It has to be big, and plaid/tartan, and pretty, and have wire, and it's shocking how expensive it is when you need more that a few inches), which has led to my MOM now hunting for the ribbon, which I didn't ask her to, but in theory this stuff is easier to find in America/cheaper, so now I have infected HER with the Christmas crazies, which I meant not to do because she is coming here in two weeks and we both made a solemn promise to the non-Christmas loving husband that there will be no "maelstrom" this year (this is an inside joke, because every time we are together, sh*t becomes chaotic and slightly obsessive and "no Christmas cookies" turns into "Three types of cookie and gingerbread and what else can we baaaake?!")

So anyway, earlier this year as we planned our London trip THREE WHOLE DAYS in advance, D. said "Fine, as long as there's not a maelstrom", which my Mom found hilarious, so now we say to him "No maelstrom. we promise!" like it means anything, like a couple of kids with their fingers crossed behind their backs....anyway there you have a glimpse into my wacky world!

Um so yes the other thing I have decided that is necessary for Christmas are proper Christmas tree lights. NOT LED. (I don't know if this has taken hold in America, but basically the old school Christmas bulbs that aren't particularly electrically environmentally friendly) - anyway you can still find the older kind here, but it's harder, you have to go on Ebay or Amazon as they sell out fast because let's be honest, LED lights are shit, there I said it. They are half as bright and not nearly so merry!

So it kind of irks me to spend three times as much on these cheapo make lights because they are now called "retro". Plus I want "warm white", not clear (there IS a difference!), which they are sold out of most places already so a slight, inexplicable panic has crept in...."I must have the lights or Christmas will be ruined!" (as I said I am trying my best to get all of this irrational Christmas craziness out of my system long before it happens!) Normally I would wait until the week before and properly spiral into, (whispers) a bit of a maelstrom ;-)

Anyway...we had a nice holiday to Florida, it was one of those lots of things didn't go quite to plan holidays, but you know, the sun was shining, we got to go in the ocean (eventually, another story for another day!). I have been trying to think of a way to blog about it and coming up empty. Like it seems that people either blog about holidays in one of two ways "Everything was a dream and I want to move there!" or "Everything was disastrous! There was a monsoon and the luggage was lost and we all caught the pox!".

Nothing went seriously wrong on this trip, it was just lots of small setbacks that I'm not even sure can be classed as anything other than first world problems (Disney was overcrowded, which we had never experienced before, and we couldn't go on most of the cool rides, which did totally suck, especially considering how expensive it is, but you know, you live to fight another day!). So I try to be as honest/realistic as I can with blogging about life experiences, but part of me feels like people don't really want to read reality lately? Not that I am going to allow that to dictate what I write, but it is a de-motivator for me lately... so yes, I had a good holiday, the sun kissed my skin and I ate fish tacos and had a frozen margarita and kissed the sunset pink*, that's all anyone wants to hear, right? ;-)

p.s. Last night I dreamt I was Melania Trump (there was a Trump documentary on in the background before I went to bed...). And it was so weird. I mean, obviously it would be, but the whole thing was so serene, like I was on Valium (she must be?!). I was literally in her body, wearing this Aspen Chic (yet trashy ;-) fluffy beige and white outfit. I had to do a pap walk by myself to get in my ski lodge because The Donald had abandoned me (as he is prone to do!), and I felt so weirdly calm and tall and anatomically perfect. We sat down to dinner and everyone was ever so pleasant and polite (even Donald!). It was so effing weird! Thanks jetlag!

*(Happy Belated Birthday to Joni Mitchell!....)

"Oh it's such a perfect day, I'm glad I spent it with you" Coquina Beach, Bradenton

4 comments

Your holiday in FLorida looked just lovely though! I mean, I could do without the beach, but bring me all the frozen margaritas :D

I love that your husband has a name for you and your moms Christmas frenzy! I think I'm more in your husband's boat...I'm not a very festive person. I mean, I'm not a grinch, I love the overall atmosphere that christmas lends the winter time, but I only decorate if I'm having a christmas party, I have never purchased a christmas tree, and baking? HA.

It was lovely, we just had a few issues, like that's not allowed on vacation! I am really pretty undomestic usually. I do like Christmas though, and I don't get to see my Mom every Christmas so we can be a little bit extra with our only child single Mom schtick! ;-)

About Me

Hi! I'm Steff. I'm an American who lives in Scotland. Expect me to write about a little bit of everything! My most recent passion is body positivity and learning to embrace health at any size. I am a film/t.v. addict and cancer survivor so I write about that sometimes too...no niche yet found! :-)