Practice 2 Simple Parenting Strategies and Never “Entertain” Your Young Kids Again

Inspired by social media feeds of parents who are talking about “Trying to entertain the kids” – I thought I’d attempt to tackle this hot topic in parenting. You may not even realize it’s a hot topic until you think about this week and what you did to “entertain” your children. Did you happen to:

Hand your kids a screen or switch on the TV for them?

Pay for camp?

Go to a planned event or activity?

Consult community calendars to plan out your week based on organized commercial events that promote consumption or purchases (like Kids Eat Free days, National Ice Cream Day free treats, or store openings)?

Drive the kids to their organized sport practice or competition?

Sit through a dance or music class?

Engage your children in educational lessons or tutoring?

Take them to childcare where video games are available or activities are programmed?

I think many parents can answer “yes” to at least one of those questions, if not all of those above. My friend and play advocate, Bethe Almeras at the GrassStainGuru.com, calls this the Cruise Director mentality where parents feel the pressure to schedule every minute of every day for their children. The children even seem to need it by regularly asking “What are we going to do next?” and the adults in their life deliver with classes, sports, tutoring, field trips, summer camps, or screen time.

But at what cost?

Your sanity?

Their creativity and resilience?

Take a moment and ask yourself, can kids entertain themselves? (Didn’t you entertain yourself when you were a kid? As a kid, how many hours of your week were programmed with structured activities like the ones above? How many hours a week were down time for you? How did you turn out?)

Slow Down!

Slow parenting is about bringing balance into the home. Children need to strive and struggle and stretch themselves, but that does not mean childhood should be a race. Slow parents give their children plenty of time and space to explore the world on their own terms. They keep the family schedule under control so that everyone has enough downtime to rest, reflect and just hang out together. They accept that bending over backwards to give children the best of everything may not always be the best policy. Slow parenting means allowing our children to work out who they are rather than what we want them to be.” – Quote from Carl Honore in What is Slow-Parenting? by Lisa Belkin, Motherlode Blog NY Times, 2009

Some examples of unstructured activities or ideas for young kids:

Spending time with grandparents – and see what happens

Spending time at the park – and see what happens

Providing down time with crayons and paper – and see what happens

A pile of books or an unhurried trip to the library – and see what happens

A sandbox and shovel – and see what happens

A paintbrush and water – and see what happens

Chalk and a sidewalk – and see what happens

Get the idea? I get so excited about play and the seeing what happens part! It’s never the same and the kids ALWAYS amaze me.

Nothing is Something

Take my word for it that kids will benefit from your conscious decision to step back and let THEM lead play. Jenny Kable of Let the Children Play (creator of the awesome artwork above) and Teacher Tom serve as two of my favorite resources to see this in action.

Your kids WILL get much of the education out of free play that you are trying to provide with structured activities. Just seek out a balance of structured to unstructured. It’s natural for kids to entertain themselves – we just need to let them.

Simple Strategy #1: New Outdoor Places

Find a new outdoor place – and let the kids initiate their play. [You just stand back and observe. If they need encouragement, start them off with a story . . . Hmm, I wonder what this could be? A house? A restaurant? Or see that rock over there – what do you think should it be?]

I receive so many requests from parents to write a post on “What to Do When We Get There?” Guess what? I’m not the one with the answer to that. The kids will decide! Just let them pretend play and see what happens.

That’s it. It’s so incredibly simple. Have you ever been to a new park or had that experience of “firsts”? Everything is more exciting somehow and it sets off your inner explorer. If you don’t let your kids play a lot of video games or see a lot of TV, you’ll notice their pretend play is based more on books and things they’ve watched you do at home.

If you are in Orange County, CA – visit my interactive park map to get you started. The best part of this strategy is that you will get the added benefit of getting away from distractions (keep your phone in your pocket) and your own schedule to spend special one-on-one time watching your child. Be in the moment. There’s a word for this now: mindfulness.

Whether you bring the parts to a park or just play with them in the backyard or living room – that’s all you have to do. Your kids will take care of the rest.

Go Play!

Your patience and encouragement are the keys to making these strategies work! You provide your kids with the appropriate places and the props – and they have everything they need to entertain themselves.

Great article, Michele. This is my whole homeschooling philosophy– see what happens!
@Bronwen- while my kids are just 18 months apart and play together all the time, we often meet other families at the park, down by the river, or for an easy hike.. The kids run off and play while the adults get to chat. Everyone gets their unstructured free play!

Oh, Bronwen. I think these strategies can work for anyone. They don’t have to be all day events – just an hour here and and hour there will be beneficial.

My kids are almost 4 years apart, so when they were young it was like having a single child most days. Kids will play all day whether you plan something or not – that’s what they do. If allowed, they are going to play while you are grocery shopping and while you are doing chores around the house. Kids can – and do – play by themselves. Lots of times you just have to start them off with something and they’ll take the idea and go with it. What they come up with totally amazes me! Parks are great places for kids to find friends. That’s where my kids got all their unstructured social time with me sitting on the bench and encouraging them to play with others or come up with their own pretend game.

You’re doing everything right for your family! Take the pressure off and enjoy these childhood years – they fly.

These are great ideas, except ideas like these and many others I have seen are geared towards multi kid families.
It doesn’t work when you have a single child who always wants someone to play with, which is usually me. Unfortunately, I can’t spend every day I have off playing all day.

I can so relate to this article. I have a little 3yo and used to schedule so much into her little schedule. It all changed one day when she was about 2.5 and could effectively communicate by speaking. I would ask her daily what she wanted to do and a lot of the time answers were “mommy I want to play at home”. I realized I packed way too many classes, play dates, and planned activities into her schedule but didn’t allow for much down time. It’s very different now. Love that you wrote about this.