As yet another school year comes to a close, I am left to reflect on how horrible our educational system is. I'm not just talking about our city schools, but I'm talking about public education in the state of Ohio in general. Some schools are better than others. I would have to say our school district is probably high end of the middle, and if we're having issues, imagine how education on the lower end is. We could go on and on about what is wrong with our educational system, but being as I have child who is gifted, that's my focus.

I strongly advocate for the rights of special needs children. Without extra intervention, these children would be lost. This post is not about ignoring children who need extra help. This post is about the small portion of children who are gifted. I'm not talking about smart kids who do well in school, I'm talking about gifted students. Students who are working several grades above grade level. Students who are not being given work at their level...or given work at their instructional level but getting frustrated because teachers are expecting them to teach themselves. It's simple really, when you look at it logically. When a child gets bored or frustrated, what do you think they do? What do you do? Do you continue along the path of frustration or boredom or do you do something else? The majority of us do something else. So why is so surprising when children exhibit those same behaviors?

Here is a quote from an article, written by Ellen Winner on the miseducation of our gifted children.

Why do our schools fail our most gifted students? I believe there are two reasons. To begin with, the notion of providing special education to those with the highest abilities offends our egalitarian sensibilities. The gifted are seen as specially privileged and thus as not in need of special help. The second reason is the deep strain of anti-intellectualism that pervades our culture. While we do not mind providing specialized training to athletic students, or to students in the school orchestra, we resist providing advanced instruction for students with intellectual gifts.

Educators are not taught how to teach to gifted children. Of course there are ideas that we are all taught for differentiating instruction--do this to make the activity easier and this to make it more challenging. What happens though when even the more challenging work isn't challenging enough? We're never actually taught how to teach to extremely advanced students. Nor are educators taught how to identify them. In fact, while in college, future educators are given the impression that gifted students are those who come in and get their work done quickly and with ease. We're given the impression "gifted" students get straight A's and pay attention in class. There is no mention of all the "quirks" that come with truly gifted students. It's sad really. We're taught to identify those kids at risk. We're taught the signs to know if children are struggling. We're taught how to help struggling learners. And we're taught those things in every education class, not just special education. Yet, there is a brief mention of gifted students and you need to take specific courses for gifted education, and even then, there are only about 2 classes to take.

Let me tell you the issue my son has been having in school for the past two years. He gets in trouble for reading. That's right, reading. Should he be paying attention? Most definitely. Does he need to learn to control his actions? Yes. Nothing is fun 100% of the time and every one needs to learn the art of practicing patience. I'm not taking accountability off of him by any means. Yet some accountability should also be taken by the education system. In another article on failing our gifted students, it's stated,

Either they’ll zone out or they’ll act out, says Del Siegle, Ph.D., a professor in gifted education and department head of Educational Psychology in the Neag School of Education at the University of Connecticut and past president of the National Association of Gifted Children. Educators need to figure out the cause of disruptive behavior and make sure it isn’t boredom before assuming that the kids don’t care or are problem students.

This year was 100 times better than last. Reading when he wasn't supposed to wasn't as big of an issue. Yet, by the end of the year, you can tell reading instead of paying attention was really wearing on his teacher. He already had accommodations, like not being allowed to have books in his desk, so he wouldn't read at inappropriate times. We were fine with that, in fact, it was our suggestion. That helped with not just getting a book out to read whenever he was bored. The bigger problem was the times where the class was supposed to get a book out and just wait until everyone was ready to start whatever the next activity was going to be. He couldn't stop. He is incapable of just reading for a moment or two. He wants to delve into the story. He gets lost in the book. So, my suggestion? Give him additional work. Though he's smart at math, his math facts aren't memorized. How about giving him practice timed tests to do a many as he can while he's waiting? Give him trivia questions to answer. Something other than taking out that book. The problem is makes more work for the teacher. How much easier is it to just have kids get out a book than have to prepare a special extra work folder for a kid? That's where I say, ASK ME FOR HELP! I would have been more than happy to send in flashcards or worksheets. Anything would have been better than that pit in my stomach waiting to hear if he got in trouble for reading, yet again.

Part of the problem with gifted children is that they are smart. Seems crazy, right? How can this be a problem? It becomes a problem because adults see and hear the advanced mental processing and forget that emotionally and psychologically, they are still little kids. We are completely guilty of this in our house. By age 3, Monster had such an expansive vocabulary, we often forgot how little he really was. It's still that way at times, and we need to take a step back and let him be a kid. We expect his behavior to be that of a much older child simply because he comprehends things on such a high level. In many instances, social/emotional skills in a lot of gifted children are underdeveloped. Most gifted students have a difficult time relating to their peers because the way that they process things is very different. When Monster was 4, he went to school discussing the BP oil spill with his preschool teacher and was drawing pictures of the pipeline and robotic arm that was being used to fix it. How many other kids in that class do you think even had any concept of the oil spill? He'd even try to tell adults about it and it was even over some of their heads. How do you think that deters social interaction when your peers don't understand anything you're talking about because they want to discuss Sponge Bob and you want to discuss world events?

Another issue that we, personally, face here is the myth that gifted students are gifted in all areas. In some cases, it's true, but in most, it's not. Monster is above grade level in all subjects, most likely due to his extremely advanced reading skills. If you were to read his writing, though, you would have no idea he's as advanced as he is. First, he has fine motor issues. He has since he was little. He's been going to a handwriting tutor for 2 years to work on this. He has come leaps and bounds with it, to where he's actually at grade level (getting 3's out of a 1-3 scale), but he still has a long way to go. His problem is that his fine motor skills can't keep up with his brain processing. Plus, the fine motor stuff is hard for him, physically. One thing his tutor has had him do is record what he wants to write and then use the recording to write. Even then, he wants to say so much and he gets fatigued due to a lack of finger strength (and yes, that's a real thing). If he can type the same thing, he does much better.

I can't believe two weeks of summer have already passed. It has flown by and making me wish it would never end. Summer started out with a bang. Both kids had friends over right after school let out to go swimming. After swimming, while having a snack, Sunshine lost her second tooth!

After a great summer kick off, we got to have a nice laid back first summer break weekend! Sunday, the kids literally spent the whole day in their jammies.

Just because summer vacation started, we understand that we can't take a break from our garden. Tomatoes, jalapenos, peppers, carrots, cucumbers, green beans, squash and sunflowers and other flowers all need to be watered to grow! First real day of vacation, Sunshine made a fairy house, complete with picket fence. Front flower bed proved to be the perfect spot for it. Sunshine makes sure we remember to water every night to keep the flowers pretty for the fairies!

Baseball started for Sunshine. She is the youngest on the team as well as the littlest, but she is determined! Game one she had an injury, but got right back out on the field...after some snuggles. Game two she rocked it as SS. It was awesome to see how proud she was of herself, too. She talked about how many balls she stopped for the next 3 days!

First week of vacation, we were able to make a day trip up to Nana and Papa's. The kids love going to their Nana and Papa's house! Monster was ready to do whatever work Papa needed. This time up, flower planting was on the agenda. After all the hard work, we rewarded the kids with going to the Strawberry Festival. I remember loving it as a kid so I was so glad I got to share the experience with my kids. This was the first time ever that the kids played carnival games. They had a blast! Monster rocked the balloon darts! He had to hit 3 balloons to win. First dart, he got one. Second dart missed. Third dart broke 3! Best part though, was, of course, the strawberries with lots and lots of whipped cream!

We can't let summer go by without some fireworks or rain storms...in a glass. Of course we're doing science experiments. This is the Rock household after all!

Fireworks in a glass.

Week two of summer vacation consisted of Safety Town in the morning for Sunshine and Sports Camp in the evening for Monster. That didn't leave a whole lot of time in between to do much. Luckily, the main thing both kids wanted to do was go to the library, which we happily did. It amazes me how much my kids love the library. It shouldn't. I'm a huge reader and Husband used to be when he had time. Growing up, you couldn't get me books fast enough. Both kids are like that. It's awesome and I'm so thankful they both love reading so much!

This past weekend, was party weekend. Sunshine had a birthday party to go to and Monster had a friend over to celebrate his birthday. Yes, a few weeks late, but we were waiting for How To Train Your Dragon 2 to come out! Boys went to karate, lunch, built with Legos, out to movie and then back to build more. Girls went to Memphis Kiddie Park. Apparently this place has been around for 60 some years, yet this is the first time I had ever been there. Sunshine had the best time! Thing she loved the most, other than the roller coaster, was her freedom. She was so excited they were all able to go "by themselves" on all the rides!

Of course we can't forget Father's Day. It was very low key. We were going to go to a baseball game, but Husband decided he'd rather stay home and hang out and do yard work. So, that's what we did.

Week 3 of summer is our crazy busy week. Both kids have camp. I'll be dropping one off and then running the other one to hers, which starts 15 minutes after his! His is all day, so it won't leave a lot of extra time, especially when you add in baseball and karate. It's times like this I'm glad we have a pool so that we can just hang out and swim in the afternoon and not have to go anywhere! Friday night, I am running the Electric Run. I'm pretty excited! I'm just hoping I can keep up with my running partner!

I just had that OMG moment. That moment where I realized I'm the mom people hate. Yes, I'm THAT mom. I was reading this article and my first thought, after thinking there was no way I'd ever make moon sand, was "Of course I'd pack up and drive to take my kids to a science museum 2 hours away, explore every inch of it and then discuss it for days." Then I read further. Uh, oh. I'm the mom this article is making fun of. My kids barely ever watch television, and even less in the summer. They need to be out doing things while the weather is nice, not sitting inside. Even on rainy days, I insist my kids do something other than veg out in front of the TV. Also, my kids don't eat junk. Sure, once in a while, but, honestly, we just don't eat like that. I actually enjoy making my own popsicles that are a whole lot healthier than sugar water with added food coloring. My kids enjoy ice cream, but equally enjoy homemade granola bars (unless I make them quinoa...total Pinterest fail). My kids get excited to get candy, and then forget they even have it and don't eat it. So, why bother giving them stuff they're not missing? Then there's the one about teaching my kids to sneak from theater to theater to watch movies all day. No way. I never even did that. And, let's say I have low morals and did that, it would still cost me at least $40 to send them to watch a movie! Here, movies at the theater are extremely rare, and extremely special, treats. I'm not teaching my kids to lie to get to have those treats more often. And sending my kids to their best friends' houses for days on end? No problem...other than the fact that their friends are way busier than we are and don't have time for that! I'd be the house people would send their kids to, and I'm OK with that. I like having kids here, probably because I like my kids and love seeing them have a good time. No, I'm not saying other people don't like their kids. I'm saying I like being the house all the kids come to (though a good portion of kids don't seem to care for our snacks...hmmm).

The rest of the article I think is OK, but with so much more added in there. I will help make that fort in the backyard or the living room. I'm happy to get the race car kit from Target. That helps with learning how to follow directions. So no, I will not put it together for them. Paint it whatever colors. If they mess up, well, they learn. Build stuff out of found stuff, too, but I have nothing against kits. I'm going to actually play games with my kids. Games we all like, or at least 2 of us and then it's majority rules. I actually enjoy playing with my children. I let them play by themselves, too, but 99.9% of the time, they'd rather I play with them. I try to teach my kids to take time and be. It's so hard in this fast paced society, but it's something everyone needs to remember and do more often. Take the time to look at the clouds. Get out the magnifying glass and look examine everything. Then, come tell me all about it because I want to hear! I want to share in those extraordinary experiences. I want to see the amazement, pride, happiness, etc, on my kids' faces as they discover all the wonders life has to offer. I also want them to feel confident enough to do it on their own but know I'm here if they need or want me. So, yes, I guess I'm THAT mom.

After all these thoughts go through my head, another realization came to me. We are all THAT mom in someway. There are those moms out there that are perfectly dressed, no hair out of place and make done, all by the time they drop their kids off at school. I'm not that mom. There are those moms that spend hours planning birthday parties and making cute little goody bags for every single holiday at school. I'm not that mom. There are the moms who make the homemade moon sand and dye it with the skins of organic vegetables. I'm not that mom. There are moms who decorate their houses and children's rooms so beautifully they look as if they come from a magazine. I'm not that mom, either. In our own ways, we are all THAT mom. THAT mom is the mom the we sort of wish we were in parts. We all have THAT mom in us, but we don't know it because to us, we're just moms trying to what we do. Even in our worse moments, when we feel like complete failures, we are THAT mom because we are doing our best to be the best for our kids. That's what really makes THAT mom.

Lately, I've been taking those stupid quizzes people post on Facebook like "What one word describes you?", "Which rock band are you most like?", or "Which character are you from 10 Things I Hate About You", etc, etc. There is one thing all the results have in common....I'm confident (that was my "one word to describe me" actually) and a leader. It's funny because of all the millions of adjectives out there, I would never pick those words, or their synonyms, to describe myself. It's all about perception though, isn't it? I know people who would describe me as a partier, which is funny since the biggest "party" I go to is Bunco. Some people would describe me as organized. Some would describe me as shy and others as out going. Some would say I'm a ditz. My neighbors call me a hippie. In the 90's, I got a boy warning his friends, "Stay away from her. She's a grunge girl!" Most people would probably use the word "bitch", with both positive and negative connotations.

So what does all that mean? Well, honestly, it means nothing. It means nothing because I know who I am. I am nice to a fault. I can be mean when I have to, but not when people really need help. I am the person who even helps my enemy if they are truly in need. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I give second chances, but not thirds. I expect people to be good, but realize most aren't and get hurt time and again when this realization hits home. I believe in helping people however I can. I don't understand people who are selfish. I hate organizing my stuff, but am very organized in my life and great at organizing other people's stuff. I'm deathly afraid of heights, but really want to go para sailing. I need a side kick to step out of my comfort zone, but once I have a push, I can do it on my own. There is very little I can't do. There is a lot I have no desire to do. I hate being told what to do and, even more, how to do it. I know my limitations, but mostly choose to ignore them. I like to listen to loud music, be it classical, punk or bagpipes and everything in between. I sing everywhere I go and don't really care who is listening. I take the time to recycle because I believe in taking care of our planet. I love growing my own fruits and veggies but hate gardening. I love the beach and hate the sand. I forgive others, but can't seem to forgive myself. I make mistakes, and lots of them. I constantly get down about what I can't give my kids and often forget what I am giving them. I have a quick temper. I swear like a sailor. I've learned to let go of a lot, but I constantly worry about things I can't control. I'm a control freak but can accept help, and appreciate help, even if it's not how I would do it. I would rather be sleeping than doing anything else. I have a hard time sitting still. I hate to run, but love doing races. I love yoga. I don't like most people, but can get along with almost anyone. I am nice to everyone, even if I can't stand them, not because I'm being fake but because being nice is polite and the right thing to do. I won't stick up for myself, but I will fight for my family and friends. I admit when I'm wrong. I can't stand change. I love roller coasters and anything fast. I get car sick if I sit in the back. I like black, but I'm also a huge fan of neon colors. I'm logical, unless it involves my kids or Husband, then I'm completely emotional. I like to play devil's advocate. I'm overly critical. I extremely cynical. I have many, many faults, but I'm a good person with a huge heart.

I know me. Husband knows me. My kids know me. That's really all the matter. I can't control what other people think of me. Nor do I worry about it. Take me as I am or not at all. So maybe I am confident, but not confident in myself, but in knowing who I am and being OK with it.