The next time your partner wants sex and you don’t, blame science! A 2006 study of 530 men and women in relationships found that sex is a priority for both genders only at the beginning of a relationship.
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The next time your partner wants sex and you don’t, blame science! A 2006 study of 530 men and women in relationships at Hamburg-Eppendorf University in Germany found that sex is a priority for both genders only at the beginning of a relationship. In the first few years, 60% of women wanted sex “very often,” but after four years it dropped to 50% and after 20 years it dropped to 20%.

The problem? Men’s desire for sex stayed the same. Sixty to 80% of men surveyed wanted the same amount of sex, regardless of how long they’d been in the relationship.

What to do? In her book The Passion Prescription (Hyperion, 2006), Dr. Laura Berman recommends that women have more sex often than they might want to, since it’s the way a man is going to feel close to her. Berman says the more sex a couple is having, the more inclined he’s going to be to show he cares in other ways, like romantic dinners, helping with the dishes or simply being sweet. So as Berman says, “just do it!” Bonus: Most women find they end up enjoying it once they get started.