The ending kinda was umm, a let down. It was a rather bland story, while it had a nice flow and everything it just lacked excitement. Lacked build up and while it was heartwarming about the baby it was a little bit of an anti-climax. Also, Abel names his daughter Abigal? Kinda similar names..

Jack™ wrote:The ending kinda was umm, a let down. It was a rather bland story, while it had a nice flow and everything it just lacked excitement. Lacked build up and while it was heartwarming about the baby it was a little bit of an anti-climax. Also, Abel names his daughter Abigal? Kinda similar names.

It wasn't meant to be an "exciting" ending. Again, had I wanted to be "exciting" or "grimy" as you put, I would have started shortly before or right as her water broke. I viewed it as more of a step down from the Hack & Slash from the last Piece. You're treating this as a full-length, 30 Chapter+ Story. When it will only be one Chapter.

This is meant to be a tender/happy moment. Abel and Odette have just had their first child and their family is with them.

I read through it again, and while I plan on re-working it to fit the Time Period from the last Piece, everything is how I want it to be. As are the names.

If you're getting at me putting the two together... I was already planning on doing that. Hence me repeating "I plan on re-working it to fit the first's time line" or "when I have time, I'll re-work this piece".

Oh and I'm keeping the Character names the way they are now. Just gonna think up how to connect the two pieces and when to bring them into the actual Story.

An adventure into a new kingdom, along they way they meet a bunch of villagers who want to revolt against there evil king and then they have huge battles and in the end overthrow the king and chop his head off with the sword of destiny? XD