TOP 10 REASONS FRENCH CANADA SUCKS

9. If there was a great bear uprising, they would immediately surrender and side with the bears.

8. Their hottest women are American and European tourists.

7. They think that charging 30% more for everything makes them cool.

6. Montreal Expos. Embarrassing.

5. They lost hockey and managed to make a boring sport like football more boring.

4. The French sold us what is now nearly 25% of this country for a case of Bourbon and a pack of Marlboro lights. I realize this is not directly related to French Canada, but it is something I like to remind anyone with a French heritage whenever the opportunity arises.

3. Montreal has a ton of strip clubs but all the strippers in those clubs are from Montreal. It’s like having unlimited beer but the beer is Coors Light.

2. They spell States as in United States, “Etate”. Basically, the word State spelled backward. What is that? Some kind of fucked up insult? Fuck you.

1. Marty McSorley. That’s right. He’s Canadian. He’s from Ontario which is right next door to the Quebec province. I don’t give a damn what language they speak there. The bastard cost us the Cup in ’93 to Frog Canada. 30 years from now we are going to learn it was a conspiracy and rouse. It’s all so illicit.

“No one makes fun of the French like the rest of Canada…” but you found this “insulting”. That would imply that your first statement is incorrect because I apparently made fun of the French unlike the rest of Canada. You then call my list insulting. Well, aren’t all acts of “making fun” of someone as you claim the rest of Canada does about the French insulting? Isn’t that the genesis of making fun of someone? Or did you mean that there are degrees of making fun of someone that can be or not be insulting. The Canadiens can make fun of the French like nobody else (hyperbole of yours) but do it in a noninsulting way. Interesting. I just figured it out. It took me a minute. You must be Canadien and/or French. My bad. Carry on. No insult intended.

Sorry but this is weak. Unfunny and inaccurate. I would say that 95% of the Americans I know that have spent any significant time in Montreal would say the women are beautiful and the strip joints world class.

I agree. The women are hot and the strip joints are awesome…but this was intended as a joke after all, a roast, a ribbing, something with which to have fun. My best friend is French…and Canadien. He laughed his butt off when he read the list. Sorry you didn’t find it funny. Most people did.