Lizard Lick's repos gone wrong

Because stealing from angry hicks can sometimes backfire. Watch Lizard Lick Towing's Repos Gone Wrong on Sun 21 September from 1pm on Dave.

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Moonshine madness

Q: Does it mean your repo's gone wrong if the owner of the vehicle comes at you with an axe? A: Yes. Yes it does. Ron took things calmly – or as calmly as you can when you're suddenly starring in your own personal remake of Deliverance. After having moonshine – yes, actual moonshine – thrown on him by the furious hillbillies, Ron somehow got the heck out of there. He also furnished us with a great new Ronism: "Them boys had me up and down like a hooker on a Friday night."

Barn-storming escape

Ronnie and Bobby got a very warm welcome when they tried to make off with a vehicle being kept in a barn. The owners (cartoon-character hillbillies complete with dungarees and beards) decided to lock the boys in the barn and set fire to it. Which we're pretty sure counts as attempted murder, but this is Lizard Lick Towing and the police don't exist, so that's OK. Ron and Bob got into the car and smashed their way out of the bonfire, narrowly avoiding being turned into barbecue.

Bounty hunter blues

If you have to remember one golden rule of repo, it's don't try to repo a car from an armed bounty hunter. Bobby found out the hard way when the bounty hunter literally took him hostage after a vaguely homoerotic tussle on a motel bed. He then forced Ronnie to hand over the keys to the vehicle and made off with it, in a rare example of the Lizard Lick crew being beaten by the better man. By "better" we mean "bigger, fatter, angrier".

Watching paintballs dry

How crazy is Krazy Dave? Well, he spells crazy with a "k", which is pretty darned nuts. He's also even more reckless about repos than Ronnie and Bobbie, which he proved one time when he drove a vehicle across a paintball field where the owner happened to be playing paintball with his mates. Before long, they had a moving target in their sights, and the car looked like it was wearing tie-dye, like some kind of hippy Transformer. Optimus Prime facepalm.

Car squatting

When people get their cars repossessed, they're liable to act... less than rationally. This usually involves violence of Joe-Pesci-in-Goodfellas-style suddenness. But one family took the alternative approach of simply getting into the car and locking the doors. Unable to repo it with people inside, Bobby and Ronnie had no choice but to sit in their truck for hours, waiting it out like cops on the weirdest stakeout of all time. Nose-crunching violence probably seemed preferable by the end.

Darn students

Anyone who's ever been annoyed at the sight of drunken students (ie, everyone, including students) will have cheered when Bobby and Ronnie swindled a bunch of them into flipping over a car. They thought it was the one our boys had come to repo, you see. But it wasn't. Bob and Ron were after the vehicle next to it, meaning the students wrecked their own car unnecessarily. Ah, it's the little sadistic victories that make life so sweet sometimes.