Wednesday, November 11, 2015

The North by North Westminster Diary: A Mr D. Cameron of Witney, Oxfordshire, "upset about cuts"

Wednesday 11th November

Much to cover today.

Firstly, prospective Prime
Minister Boris Johnson has gone to the Middle East and has had to cut his visit
short because of security concerns he caused. So his list of credentials for
the top job just get longer and longer.

He insulted people who support a
boycott of Israeli goods, calling them a "bunch of corduroy-jacketed
lefties". I wonder who he meant. Perhaps he wasn’t being targeted by
Hezbollah but by angry Corbynistas.

Speaking of Corbyn, the Leader of
the Opposition is joining the Privy Council today a full month earlier than
David Cameron managed, which is just typical of the tardy, unpatriotic shirker
that Jez is.

Furthermore, last night he told
his Shadow Cabinet that he expected more discipline, which some of them found a
bitter pill to swallow as Mr Corbyn is the record-holder for acts of
ill-discipline against the Labour whip. It’s a bit like being told to clean-up
your sport by the All-Russia Athletics Association.

And speaking of wilful blindness,
David Cameron has got into a row with the leader of his local council because
they appear to be having to make swingeing cuts to their budget and services.

In other news, the Dark Lord Sauron has
complained to the Mordor council about the number of orcs that appear to be in
his postcode, and cannot understand how it has anything to do with his
policies.

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