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Clive Davis is Gay. Who’d of Thought?

In what is sure to cause an epidemic of limp dicks across the internet, 80-year-old music mogul Clive Davis announced today that he is bisexual. Davis came halfway out of the closet today on the Katie Couric Show. Too bad this didn’t come out 50 years ago, before the thought of Clive Davis having sex with anybody was enough to cause a person to choke to death on their own vomit.

In his new book due to be released this Spring, Davis explains what caused him to stray from the easy poontang of the 70’s into the newly-liberated arms of greased-up,80’s man meat. From the NY Post:

Rolling Stone reports that Davis writes candidly about his personal life in a five-page section toward the end of his new memoir, “The Soundtrack of My Life,” out today.

In the book, he talks about his long-term relationship with a man during “the era of Studio 54” after he separated from his second wife in 1985.

“On this night, after imbibing enough alcohol, I was open to responding to his sexual overtures,” writes Davis, who says he had only been with women before.

After a period of “soul searching and self-analysis,” Davis went on to have simultaneous relationships with two women and a man.

Davis writes, “After my second marriage failed, I met a man who was also grounded in music. Having only had loving relationships and sexual intimacy with women, I opened myself up to the possibility that I could have that with a male, and found that I could.”

Looking at the above picture of Clive, I don’t know why nobody figured this out sooner. The man’s handkerchief matches his tie. How did we not see this before?