Friday, December 16, 2005

EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN, I LEARNED FROM THE HIT SONGS OF 2005

Do not let this woman borrow your car

2005 was a watershed year with regard to how pop lyrics have enlightened us about the differences between men and women. Here below are my highlights.

TOP 10 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN FROM SONGS OF 2005

When a man kisses a woman multiple times, he is actually in love with the food on her lips. (Fiona Apple, "Parting Gift")

A man should not trust a psychic who tells him that "the one" for him has a posterior similar to Serena Williams because this woman will eventually require him to pay for an evening at Showbiz Pizza for her four children, one of whom was fathered by Busta Rhymes, and possibly another by Usher Raymond. (Kanye West, "Gold Digger")

A woman will take off her pantyhose if the DJ plays Bon Jovi. (Joe Nichols, "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off")

If a man consistently stays hard, women will refer to him as 'Jolly Rancher.' (D4L, "Laffy Taffy")

Women count on Jesus to take the wheel. (Carrie Underwood, "Jesus, Take The Wheel")

Conversation and Hennessy can help a man get more ass than a toilet seat. (Nate Dogg, "Shake That")

A woman is ready to attack another woman once the pom-poms have been placed on the ground. (Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl")

If a woman climbs on top of a man and rides him as if she were in the rodeo, he will make a sound that she has never before heard. (50 Cent, "Candy Shop")

Women beg to pull down their underwear once they see a man working his jelly. (Mike Jones, "Back Then")

It is possible for a man on drugs to share a long-lasting moment with a beautiful woman on a subway, even if she is with another man. (James Blunt, "You're Beautiful")