Confused Barnaby Joyce Thought He Was In The L&P Party

Deputy Prime Minister (for now) Barnaby Joyce was shocked to learn that he was a member of the Liberal National Party (LNP) and not the Lemon and Paeroa (L&P) party.

“Thirteen years ago I joined what I thought was the L&P party, a group for fans of the greatest non-alcoholic drink in the world. I was stunned to learn late last week that I was in fact not only a member but the Deputy Leader of the Liberal National Party. What have I done?”

When asked how he could confuse the two Mr Joyce replied: “Bloody acronyms bro. They make it confusing, I mean I was tasked to be Minister in charge of water, L&P needs water to be made. I thought my job was to get water from the Murray river to the factory.”

“Oh well, now that I’m no longer needed in Canberra I may head down to Bondi and just chill. I’ve got a cousin who’s a bouncer down there that can get me some work, so there’s that.”

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull could not be reached for comment as he was huddled in the corner of his office in the foetal position chanting: “I’m a strong leader.”