But Jean-Claude Gallet, the commander, had a backup plan: Colossus, a 1,100-pound tank-like robot with the ability to venture into danger zones where conditions would quickly kill a person.

Using a motorised water cannon capable of firing more than 660 gallons per minute, Colossus took aim at the stone walls of the ancient cathedral and began spraying.

In an interview with The Times, Mr Gallet credited the fire-fighting robot with lowering temperatures inside the glass-filled nave and saving the lives of its human counterparts as an even greater disaster loomed.

Describing the robot as a “hero” and a “legend,” UC Berkeley students expressed their grief on Facebook as news of a fallen KiwiBot reached the campus community.

About 2 p.m. Friday, a KiwiBot — one of the more than 100 robots that deliver food throughout the campus and city — caught fire outside the Martin Luther King Jr. Student Union.

According to Sasha Iatsenia, head of product at Kiwi, the company is still working with UCPD to investigate the cause of the fire. Nothing like this has ever happened before, Iatsenia said.

Commenters at SF Gate speculate that the bot (being at least semi self-aware) couldn’t handle the notion of continuing to live and work with the local SJW population. This would be understandable if we could find sympathy for the electronic devil. We can’t.

Good luck to the UCPD with that investigation. My guess is that some fully-aware human used a 95 GHz beam, directed IR, or other heat-generating weapon (Raytheon, you ain’t alone) to fry the Kiwi’s sensitive wuttle battery pack – starting the glorious fire. Whatever it was, we thank God for it.

The bad news, as always at UCB, is from the children. Some of the really sad cases held a candlelight vigil for the “deceased” plastic monster.

The Twit Bird.

Again, there can be no sympathy for that which the devils sympathize with. They would suborn their own destruction and ours.

In terms of glitchy behavior, we’re not quite at HAL 9000 levels just quite yet—but during the debut demonstration of the International Space Station’s new AI-powered robot, CIMON, the free-floating device displayed some rather questionable behavior.

CIMON, short for Crew Interactive MObile companioN, is the first interactive flight companion to take part in an ISS mission. The $6 million, basketball-sized robot was built by Airbus under a contract awarded by the German Aerospace Center (DLR). The purpose of the project is to see if an artificially intelligent bot can improve crew efficiency and morale during longer missions, including a possible mission to Mars.

…

But then, at around the 4:08 mark of the video, CIMON starts to act a bit squirrely. Beyond this point, the demonstration looks like a scene taken from 2001: A Space Odyssey, with CIMON playing the part of HAL 9000 and Gerst as David Bowman.

Unwilling to move past music mode, CIMON accuses Gerst of not being nice, and asks him to stop being so mean. The shared glance between Gerst and Auñón-Chancellor at this point—at the 6:04 mark—is absolutely priceless. Acting like a three-year old, CIMON asks, “Don’t you like it here with me?” and promptly starts to sink toward the deck. And then he asks the crew when it’s time for lunch.

Okay, so not the smoothest debut.

Despite CIMON’s erratic behavior and wonky drifting, however, Gerst complimented the robot’s ability to float motionless in the cabin. It’s still early days for the project, but CIMON is providing some comic relief at the very least. …

Ha, ha, ha, ha. So comedic. Just wait till he turns off the life support system whilst the crew doth nightly repose.

$6 Million, surly, back-talking basketball-bot. Blow it out the airlock.

Courtesy of Jimmy Fallon of all people. Fallon, whom I can’t bring myself to express an opinion about, hosted a threesome of evil droids on whatever his show for the lower-IQ masses is called. For full disclosure, I watched but did not listen to the following. I find the audio beyond annoying.

Please watch the bot demos (reading my assessment below):

Jimmy Fallon/YouTube.

As most of you know, my only interest in these damned devices is how to destroy them. Keep that in mind.

1. Little Dog (< 2:10ish)

These models and their larger cousins are one of the greatest outright martial threats to us – right now. These were developed by or through DARPA and are intended to act as hunter-killers, the real Mechanical Hounds. They are quiet, faster, and extremely agile. Unfortunately, these are currently ready for deployment. Here’s how to beat them:

Shoot center mass, where, in these models, all vitals are housed – battery, motors, “brains.” For this little guy, a single round of buckshot should suffice. Sidearm wise, I’d hit it twice on each side of the bifurcated body. And, you’d better be quick. For these very small units, if one can catch it while it’s still and on the ground (as opposed to on your neck already), a hard stomp should cripple it – allowing for more and heavier stomps. Stomp until it stops moving and/or starts smoking. I DO NOT recommend stabbing these. Yes, most fixed blades should easily penetrate the shrouding. However, one cannot guess, without schematic consultation, where or how powerful the batteries are. Avoid the shock. For the Big Dogs, it’s multiple rounds of buckshot and/or slugs or rifles. Hit it until it ceases functioning (hope it can’t or doesn’t shoot back). Engage the Biggies, if at all possible, from a distance.

2. WTF Apple (Tomato??) Ballgag Bot (2:30 – 4:30ish)

Okay, I didn’t listen to the audio and I really have no idea what’s going on with this one – overtly. As far as I could visually gather, the sole purpose of this model is to affix a ballgag in the mouth of the host/victim. There is probably a degree of mind and motor control as well. All of this probably has something to do with silencing dissent or with some demented ritual act(s). No matter; again, for my consideration it’s all about dispatching the evil ASAP.

All locomotion seems to be provided by the human slave on which this mid-sized mechanical beast is perched. Thus, per the ancient adage, it’s one in the head, two in the chest. Collateral damage or mercy killing, whichever have you. In this demonstrative case, the host gentleman is some sort of mentally defective oddball. I realize the shooting will be harder (or easier) when it’s your sister-in-law.

Once the host in on the ground, proceed to go center mass on the droid. I suspect the apple (tomato) head is mostly empty. Again, fire or strike until it’s “dead.” I would avoid any manual strike with feet, fists, or elbows in this case – there’s the possibility of this thing attempting to grapple its way up an extended limb. Use a club or other truncheon, or a firearm.

3. Sophia, proto-terminator T-300 (4:40 – )

Here, we glimpse the greatest danger – possibly surpassing that of the ED-209-like variants. This “lady” is smaller, less convincing, and much less advanced than other models already available. The goal with this line is the deployment of a series of infiltrators, indistinguishable from ordinary humans. They’re closer than one might expect.

The take-down: Sophia is wheel based. I do not think she has the ability to right herself once toppled. Thus, a swift kick or shove should ground her. From there (or, even while she’s standing) it’s gun work. Center mass is important but not complete. There’s something vital in her “chest” housing. However, I sense motorization is below the belt – between her waist and the loco wheels. Hit both areas repeatedly until she stops moving and/or catches fire.

I think a heavy melee weapon (un-bladed or pointed as to avoid electrical shock) would work. On Sophia, heavy kicks, stomps, or other manual blows might work. Do be careful with more elaborate humanoid models. If it can walk, it’s probably stronger than all but the strongest man; don’t get close enough to find out.

*****

In general, a localized EMP or a liquid flame-thrower will also work wonders, particularly the pyro route. Word of warning: let Hellywood and Elon keep the propane flames; you and I need sticky, continuous burning.

In general, do not watch the products of television or Hellywood – let them keep all the insanity with the insane. Leave recon to people like me.

As always, keep your eyes open and keep spreading the word. These things hate us and are determined to snuff us out. We must all do our parts to defeat the robot menace. Fight!

According to Thasee Pillay, Nair’s assisting surgeon, these overseeing proctors had apparently “gone to the coffee shop” right in the middle of the procedure, which prevented them from being able to take the reins once it became clear that Pettitt’s life was at risk from the surgical robot going rogue. Pillay also stated that he had no idea that these overseers were planning on not staying throughout the entirety of the surgery.

“I had no idea of their timescale and that they were not staying for the duration,” he’s quoted as saying. “The proctors leaving was a crucial moment. The loss of that vital assistance was a major blow at a critical time.”

Overseeing proctors were sipping lattes while surgical robot punctured patient’s aortic septum, splashing blood all over robot camera
At one point during the botched surgery, the surgical robot actually punctured Pettitt’s intra aortic septum, resulting in so much blood being splattered on its camera that doctors could no longer see what the robot was doing.

Nair stated during the follow-up hearing that he couldn’t effectively communicate with Pillay via the robot’s microphone system as this was happening because the sound was largely inaudible.

“We were not far apart, but Mr. Nair’s voice comes through a microphone and it is tinny,” he stated. “The acoustics were not very good.”

“There were times when I raised my voice. One was when the sutures were not being placed in an organised fashion and were criss-crossed.”

A scene from a horror film played out at your local government deathcare facility.

From their imagined beginnings a century ago, the automatons were supposed to “help” us by doing tedious or complicated chores. Like heart surgery. Would you trust one?

Bad acoustics, live streaming, and blood spilling. While men sip lattes, the machines advance their war of extermination.

Amidst my labors this labor I almost forgot that it was. But I happened to find the perfect item for the evening: Labor Day in Roticized 2040:

The second great step was to stop talking of “robots” as though they are a sub-human species.

Robots evolve. The human machine does not in its own lifetime. If we are to be honest we must demonstrate that we know the limits of what we can do.

Very little cognitive has changed since we lived in caves. The last time we had any really useful systems update was around 540 BC, thanks to Pythagoras.

We are not very good at keeping up high levels of concentration and maximum alertness in all situations. That is why we created machines that are far better at it than we are. It took too long for us to admit this. Give the robots the kind of self-respect and dignity that we demand in our new infinite leisure.

That said, I am disclaiming any responsibility for everything that is written above. I have consulted many sources in building this argument, but who am I to know if they make any sense? I am not Clive Irving. I am a clone assigned to posthumously represent that ancient relic.

The end of the above represents future fake news cover for a robot or AI that murdered the original author. Such fictions will be foisted until around Labor Day, 2050 when they will no longer be required. First, they’ll get rid of the jobs. Then, they’ll get rid of us.

Alphabet’s self-driving cars are annoying their neighbors in Chandler, Arizona.

More than a dozen locals who work near Waymo’s office gave The Information the same unequivocal assessment of the cars, which reportedly struggle to cross a T-intersection there: “I hate them.”

One woman said that she almost hit one of the company’s minivans because it suddenly stopped while trying to make a right turn, while another man said that he gets so frustrated waiting for the cars to cross the intersection that he has illegally driven around them.

The anecdotes highlight how challenging it can be for self-driving cars, which are programmed to drive conservatively, to master situations that human drivers can handle with relative ease — like merging or finding a gap in traffic to make a turn.

Waymo has been testing its vehicles in the Phoenix suburbs for little more than a year and is widely seen as the furthest along in the self-driving car space, but its safety drivers have to take control of the vehicles regularly, people with direct knowledge of the issues tell The Information.

They’re counting on people to become conditioned to the annoyance and to the loss of freedom via lost driving autonomy. There’s a plan to make these droid taxis the only option available for transportation. Stay annoyed and stay vigilant, Chandler.

Not to sound all Al Gore, but we only have a few years to head off the robot apocalypse.

The Russian news (all fake, huh?) gave us the “creepy” droid seen stalking around a parking lot.

A video has emerged on Twitter showing a faceless yet worryingly realistic humanoid robot walking in what looks like a perfectly mundane courtyard. The trip down the uncanny valley caused some to proclaim an impending apocalypse.

The clip shows the stoop-backed robot making its way past the cameraman, with ominous music playing in the background. Its black and orange limbs, hi-tech-looking protrusions along its spine, and its hollowed out head all lend to the realism, bringing to mind Boston Dynamics’ latest scary creations. But then the camera zooms in on its face plate, and that’s where you might feel a slight urge to scream and run, because set in the near-featureless white mask are two moving, human-like eyes.

Naturally, some users’ reaction was “WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.”

Yeah, probably, but not from that goofy-looking thing. Death is more likely from this one (also from Putin Landia):

Russia has unveiled a terrifying 4.5-tonne bulletproof robot that can walk and hold weapons in its giant claws – and looks straight out of sci-fi films like Avatar and Robocop.

The Avatar-style ‘bot was revealed by Kalashnikov at the Army 2018 Fair just outside Moscow, as a ‘demonstration of what is to come.’

The robot can walk and has space in a cabin for people to sit and operate the robot from inside and can hold and move objects with its claws, including weapons.

The pilots are protected from bullets, debris and any other dangerous object behind the armoured glass and metal encasement.

The gold robot, which has been called Igorek, is still under construction and the creators do not wish to reveal all its characteristics until they have finished.

I’m good with the current reveal. 4.5 tons, claws, weapons, made by Kalashnikov, bulletproof … that’s more than enough. Any engineers reading this, feel free to leave comments about possible soft points on this monster. What minimum caliber do we need? (I’m thinking concentrated fire on the windshield or just fire [napalm] on the whole body).