Archives for May 2011

This picture was snapped at the local mall last week. If your Sephora shop is like ours, it has recently capitalized on its space across the mall from the Apple Store and is now targeting the same people who like to wear iPods around their necks. Glowy! White! Cords! Teeth? Hmmm.

I haven’t actually purchased the Glo™ system so the least I could do is to try to help sell a few of them with this exclusive “DentalBuzz How-To Guide for Avoiding the Dentist But Still Whiten Your Teeth a Tiny Bit.”

Step 1: Remind yourself that you really hate the dentist. And justify your reasons for not going to one by telling yourself that you brush every day with a toothpaste that you see advertised on TV. And mouthwash. You always use mouthwash, because it protects your teeth. So you don’t need a dentist.

Step 2: Save up $275. This is very important because you can’t get white teeth for free, no matter how much you see it offered by area dentists as a special for new patients. It’s NOT FREE. Also, make sure not to read up on any scientific studies about how light-activated or heat-activated whitening is no more effective than bleaching gel alone. Or that dentists use bleaching gel that is usually more than triple the strength of the strongest OTC whitener available. None of that matters because you are going to do this yourself with your own hard-earned money. Besides, insurance doesn’t cover whitening anyway so that’s one more way that a dentist won’t be ripping you off.

Step 3: Purchase the Glo Brilliant™ Personal Teeth Whitening Device at the place of your choice, either at Home Shopping Network, or Sephora, or directly from GloScience. And then justify the purchase one more time because the company has “science” in their name, after all.

Step 4: This is the most fun step! Take all of the stuff out of the kit and marvel over it. SPOILER ALERT! I’m going to tell you what you get:

•A lighted mouthpiece that comes with its own case!
•10 G-Vials! Futuristic-looking smearable 6% hydrogen peroxide gel tubes with built in brushes. G-Vials. Sounds kinky.
•The Glo™ Control. It’s so three generations of iPods ago….but….FOR TEETH!
•A Charging Dock! Docking is fun. And a Music Player! (just kidding, no music)
•A USB power plug. It plugs into your computer! And its for your teeth! (you should be squealing by now with joy).
•Glo™ Lip Balm. Because hydrogen peroxide is caustic.
•a BAG!!!! To carry it all in! Because you want to be able to whiten your teeth at your mom’s, while you’re driving to your job interview, or wherever you have an urge to wear the GloControl around your neck.

Step 5: Check to see that the GloControl is charged and hang it around your neck. You wouldn’t want to be putting the mouthpiece in your mouth all dark, now, would you? Also, apply a thin layer of the lip balm on your lips, and pout, because you’re too cute to get burned.

Step 6: Open one of the G-Vials and squeeze it until the gel appears on the brush (ooh. higher. Higher. There.). Brush the gel onto the fronts of teeth, taking care not to slobber on them.

Step 7: Plug in the mouthpiece, press the GLO button, unhinge your jaw and then cram the mouthpiece all the way in until it covers both your top and bottom teeth. Watch this video if you think I’m exaggerating.

Step 8: Spend the next eight minutes going about your day. This is verbatim from the GloScience website. Then you’ll want to immediately do Step 6 through Step 8 three more times, for 32 consecutive minutes per day. One G-Vial per day for ten days.

Step 9: Marvel at how much whiter your teeth are! You’ll probably notice a change, and hopefully the bleaching will last longer than a month, but if it doesn’t, just repeat Step 1 over and over until you feel better. And then buy some G-Vial refills. You know how you like your G-Vials.

Do you remember what came before this in the mall? The chairs, the lights, the kiosks, the leased-out spaces with people parading around in white lab coats? I think that this is a change for the good, and because the treatment course is similar to that recommended by dentists, it probably is much more effective. Well, except for the light. But then no one could charge so much just for the bleach and the tray?

Feel like that new crown isn’t fitting right? Do you feel it may cause discomfort? Brain hemorrhaging? Death? Well, put that phone down, you silly thing. Your lawyer can wait because June is ‘Don’t Sue Your Dentist’ Awareness Month.

As an act of marginal sympathy, I ask those patients who plan on crushing the livelihoods of their dentists to refrain, for a moment, and search your heart for a modicum of compassion. In the spirit of ‘Don’t Sue Your Dentist’ Awareness Month, I offer latent plaintiffs a poetic gesture of retort on behalf of your dentists. I call this poem, “Oh, Come ON! You Gotta Be F%[email protected]! Kidding Me?!”

Beyond the reaches of simple men
You further the legions
Of those who wish to harm us
Into the shadows of the Beast
(The Man with the Briefcase)
We shall overturn your
Tortuous hands in our pockets
And fight… fight!
For the putrid, rotting silver in
The mouths of those who wish to
Destroy us was but a step away from
Excavation into Happiness
A porcelain utopia
Awaited those who turned on our Good selves
BEHOLD!
The wrath that disguises itself as
Innocent sufferer is the Devil
In Disguise and I’m bringing you down along with your pandering attorney!
Yeah! Booyah! How do ya like me now? Can’t hear that, you say? I said
I’m gonna countersue you!
I’m gonna Smear your name like a laboratory sample
On a glass slide!
And I’m gonna get your little dog, too!

But it’s air guitar, man, use your imagination! Feel the energy, the passion, the creative flow that turns all of us into rock stars on our gaming consoles!

Something you may not have realized is that you are already a star, at least in the eyes of your patients. A Dental Star. Rock on. Your opinions are gold. Patients ask which toothpaste is best? Which mouthwash should they be using?

One question they never ask is “What should I use to clean between my teeth?” Do patients even register a thought about their interproximal surfaces? Here’s a question for you as a person, not as a dental professional: how often do you think about the skin between your toes? (toejam. eww.)

My point exactly.

But we think about the skin between teeth all the time. That’s where we see the most gingivitis, the highest plaque scores, the most room for improvement. And we’re tired of laying guilt trips on our patients when we realize that they’re not flossing.

That’s when you want to be able to point to alternatives and say to your non-flossers, “Maybe this will work for you.”

Water Piks are wet, messy, and have been around since the 1960’s. Still, they are my go-to recommendation for non-mechanical biofilm reduction because I see improvements in bleeding scores with patients who use them daily. They are also ubiquitous and affordable, making them more attractive than some of the higher priced or obscure dental water jets.

What’s that? Philips has a new gadget that competes with Water Pik? Well, Philips products can be bought everywhere, too! Can you say, “market penetration?” Can you say, “a funhouse explosion in your mouth?”

It’s called the Sonicare AirFloss, and it was introduced to the world a few weeks ago at the International Dental Show in Germany. Philips is being cheeky about it at the moment, but it looks to be making its American debut at the California Dental Association Meeting in Anaheim next week.

The Sonicare AirFloss is said to replace flossing with micro-bursts of water and air. Fill its reservoir with a few teaspoons of mouthwash or water and you’re ready to blast the little legs off your biofilm bugs.

As of this writing, the only way to learn more about the AirFloss is to sign your office up for a Lunch and Learn at the Sonicare website. Who would turn down free food and a nugget of sponsored CE credit to expand their knowledge base about a product that patients will soon be coming to us for answers about its worthiness?

I am always intrigued by the buzz about new preventive products. As an idea that Philips recently acquired with the purchase of Discus Dental, the Air Floss is being presented in a warm fuzzy cushion of patient acceptance. Do patients like this more than flossing? Do they like it more than using a Water Pik? This presentation makes me think that the science behind the product hasn’t shown the health results that Philips had hoped it would. Watch this video from the IDS in Cologne and see what you think. This is Maria Perno Goldie, RDH Village eFocus editor:

And then there’s me. My family will be so thankful when we get an AirFloss because it might just keep me from pretending to be on American Idol when I think I’m alone in the bathroom:

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DentalBuzz explores rising trends in dentistry with its own slant. The speed at which new products and ideas enter the dental field can often outpace our ability to understand just exactly the direction in which we are heading. But somehow, by being a little less serious about dentistry and dental care, we might get closer to making sense of it all.

So yeah, a tongue-in-cheek pun would fit really nicely here, but that would be in bad taste. Never mind, it just happened anyways. Stop reading sidebars already and click on some content instead.

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