John Lennon ‘stole ‘I Am The Walrus’ from me’ says walrus

“He suddenly decided he wouldn’t keep me in fish every day for the rest of my life, despite our verbal agreement, that’s why I meticulously arranged his assassination to look like a crazed fan had done it” said the walrus, whose identity we have agreed to keep secret “he was past his best anyway. It had to be done to save the world from yet more whining protest songs and yoko ono lovesongs shit.”