Pursuit home

The value of strength-based parenting

How positive psychology can unlock your child’s potential and enhance their well-being

By Professor Lea Waters, Melbourne Graduate School of Education, University of Melbourne

Share selection to:

It’s widely accepted in today’s culture that good parenting requires a balance of warmth and control. Research shows that parents who respond to the needs of children in loving ways, whilst setting rules that build independence and emotional intelligence, produce the best-adjusted, most resourceful, and highest-achieving kids.

Referred to as ‘authoritative parenting’, this style of parenting was identified by University of California, Los Angeles, psychologist Dr Diana Baumrind, whose research on parenting spans three decades, from 1960-1990.

Her work identified that authoritative parenting has the most positive effect on a child’s wellbeing and inspired further research that began in the 90s, on emotional coaching (the warmth aspect) and autonomy-granting parents (the control aspect), and still continues today.

While I certainly agree with an authoritative approach, I’d also argue that parenting research needs to evolve. Sure, parent-child relationships still need warmth and control but, as a psychology researcher and a mother of two, I’m interested in updating our knowledge of effective parenting. After all, we’re well and truly into the 21st Century and yet the bulk of parenting practices are based on ideas put forward in the 1960s and 1990s. Isn’t it time for an upgrade?

Strength-based parenting is an approach where parents deliberately identify and cultivate positive states, processes and qualities in their children. It’s about connecting your kids with their inborn strengths such as strengths of character (eg. humour, kindness) as well as their talents such as writing or sporting ability. These strengths are the inner resources contained within our kids that help boost their life satisfaction.

Benefits for parents and children alike

Strength-based parenting doesn’t just benefit our sons and daughters; it also improves the life satisfaction and confidence of the parents themselves. In one of my studies, parents who went through a four week strength-based parenting program found parenting more interesting, felt more confident in their role as a parent and experienced more positive emotions toward their children.

While the importance of providing love and emotional support to children is well understood, we now know the importance of deliberately identifying and building strengths in our children.

With the rising rates of youth mental illness and the increasing complexity of raising children in the 21st Century, strength-based parenting is a new and exciting avenue of research that holds much promise and practical value.

Practical tips for parents to apply to strength-based parenting

Strengths spotting: Think about the strengths that underpin your child’s actions and let them know what you see. Spot the kindness that underpins them sharing with their friends, their self-control to finish homework on time rather than watch TV and the persistence their using in sports training.

Strengths letter: Write a letter to your child letting them know about the strengths you see in them and how these strengths will help them cope with challenging time as well as helping them to thrive during the good time.

Strengths surveys: There are a number of online surveys that children can take to help them identify and think about their strengths. The Gallup Institute has the StrengthsExplorer for children aged 10-14 and the StrengthsQuest for children aged 15-25. If parents and children are interested in identifying personality strengths, they can go to The Values in Action Institute and complete the free online VIA-Youth survey.

Strengths role model: It always helps to see how other parents and kids are using their strengths. Visit the The Strengths Exchange and discover how parents and children of all ages apply character strength to everyday.

Privacy Statement

The University of Melbourne (University) collects, uses, handles and discloses personal information in accordance with the Privacy and Data Protection Act 2014 (Vic) (Act) and other applicable legislation.

This Privacy Statement relates only to the collection of personal information in relation to the Pursuit Website. Please refer to our Privacy Policy and Privacy Statement for the University of Melbourne Website for information in relation to the broader practices in relation to the collection, use handling and disclosure of personal information by the University.

Definition of Personal Information

“Personal information” is defined under the Act to mean information or an opinion (including information or an opinion forming part of a database), that is recorded in any form and whether true or not, about an individual whose identity is apparent, or can reasonably be ascertained, from the information or opinion, but does not include information of a kind to which the Health Records Act 2001(Vic) applies.

Collection of Personal Information by the University in relation to Pursuit

The University may collect, store and handle personal information about you including but not limited to your name and email address for the sole purpose of allowing you to subscribe to Pursuit’s weekly digest of cutting-edge research findings and expert commentary.

Disclosure of Personal Information

The University would seek your prior written consent before using your personal information for any purpose other than that which is described above and before disclosing your personal information to any third party.

Access to Your Personal Information

You can access any personal information the University holds about you by contacting the University’s Privacy Officer at privacy-officer@unimelb.edu.au.