Okay, you guys. Have you been paying attention to this Game of Thrones meets James Bond meets The Interview shit that has been going on with North Korea?

If not buckle up, and read fast, because this story keeps getting weirder and weirder and it wouldn't be shocking if more weird things have happened by the time you're finished with this.

Toshifumi Kitamura / AFP / Getty Images

Let's start at the beginning: This is Kim Jong Nam, the one-time heir apparent to the leadership of the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea, better known as North Korea.

Things are pretty sweet when you're all set to become the third in a dynastic line that offers complete authoritarian control of a government. But he reportedly didn't much like the idea of a third-generation of Kims ruling. “In this world, if you are a person with normal thoughts, you can’t follow hereditary [succession] for three generations,” he said, according a 2012 book based on emails and conversations between Kim and a Japanese journalist. “It’s very doubtful that a young hereditary successor who only was taught for two years could possibly take over … absolute authority.”

But Kim Jong Nam then managed to get caught using a fake passport while traveling with with his family back in 2001. The reason he gave for being in a Tokyo airport pretending to be a Dominican national? He wanted to visit Tokyo Disney. True story.

Shizuo Kambayashi / AP

Kim Jong Nam and Kim Jong Un's dad, longtime leader Kim Jong Il, was like, "Omfg what the shit, are you kidding me with this right now." And so Nam plummeted from favor faster than a North Korean missile hits the sea.