Thursday, February 3, 2011

One year later

I'm not sure why I stopped writing. Things became and continue to be so horrific that even writing no longer helped. I questioned whether publishing my family's problems online would help matters at all. Since my last post, over a year ago, my son has entered into a drug induced psychosis, brought on by stimulant and cannabis drug abuse. Never heard of that condition? Google it and learn about the depths of despair our family has reached. I plan on writing more details later, but essentially he was admitted into a psychiatric ward last year for a six week period. Following his treatment, we went through an okay period with him, where we desperately hoped things were getting better. Then this past Christmas, he began using stimulants and cannabis again, sending him back into a psychosis. On Monday, a psychiatrist is visiting our home to determine whether he meets the requirements for another involuntary admittance to a psych ward, and we will try again. The worst thing about his current condition is how alone I feel. Before, there were so many parents to commiserate with about my son's addiction; however, very few people have even heard of, let alone know someone who has experienced this horror. I use to believe that there could be nothing worse than a child addicted to drugs. I was wrong. I think I have decided to write again to hopefully educate other people about what a drug induced psychosis is, and what the signs are, because the earlier the intervention the better the outcome. It may be too late for my son to be helped, but if my words help one other family, it will be worth sharing our awful experience.

11 comments:

Please keep writing. I don't have a son dealing with drug induced psychosis, but I do have a daughter that near misses with suicide and psychiatric hospitalizations twice at the age of 12. I know a little bit about your pain. And I care.

OMG Hannah. Yes, I do know what drug induced psychosis is. I'm just sitting here with a sick stomach from reading your post. I'm so sorry. Hopefully, they will commit him, and then give him long term INTENSIVE counseling and an evaluation for mental health issues. I will pray.

I happened upon your blog while browsing addiction blogs. I understand your feeling of aloneness and that no one else gets what you are going through. My Sister was killed last June as she crossed the interstate into the path of an 18 wheeler. She was addicted to an assortment of things. Whether she crossed the median intentionally is still unclear. The events that led up to her death at age 37 had affected our entire family since her teenage years. So, her death was not a typical "death". Not only will we grieve her loss, but we will deal with the emotional baggage that we have carried for years. I pray that your son will get the intense counseling that he needs to escape the power of drugs. There are so many family members who suffer the agony of an addicted loved one. No two stories are the same. But the pain that we all feel inside is. I pray that your son will get the intense counseling he needs to overcome.

I just came across your blog. I joined almost a year ago and I don't know if I hadn't found this community where I would be. We had just had an unsuccessful intervention with my son, I was fighting with his Father and his Step-Father and very, very close to divorce. I felt so alone - I didn't have one person I knew that had a drug addict for a child. This became an outlet to me.

I hope you come back and start writing again. I write almost everyday and it helps, it has brought a little bit of peace to my chaos.

Dear Hope, I know what it is. My son had one when he went 9 days without sleeping on a meth bender. Then he stopped rush hour traffic for hours by standing on an overpass threatening to jump, until the Arizona state police talked him down.

He has permanent neurological damage from it (tremors in his hands).

That was 8 years ago. A terrible, dark time when we didn't know where he was or if he was alive.

Last year he got sober (after 16 months in prison). He's 28 now, so please don't give up.For many of us there is a point when it really does get better.

i am an 22 year old alcoholic my problems began very early and caused many things to happen to many many bad but some good. i have just started going to AA 6 months ago. i live with my father because of a d.u.i i got about a year ago. i just got off probation. i have heard many stories like yours. and you have my deepest sympathy's. i had done many terrible things to my father and family said many things i regret and my actions were very erratic and insane at times. something i learned at my meetings is that i am the only one who is responsible for my sobriety and that i had to truly give myself to the program.....my heart truly aches for you. i can tell you are trying so hard. i do not know if your son is going to meeting but there are such meetings he can attend not only AA but narcotics anonymous after he regains some mental clarity i hope you take him there if you have not already. there is also support in the form of al-anon a program dedicated to helping families of addicts get through there struggles. i urge you to go to these meetings as soon as possible there are many forms of therapy besides mental institutions and rehab or at least for your sake support groups that can help you through this diffcult time.please stay strong....i will pray for you. and your son who i am sure is a great person on the inside but temporarily sick with addiction.

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About Me

I am a thirty-six year mother of two. A daughter and a son who continues a four year struggle with addiction. I was once an eternal optimist, one of those lucky people who could always see the light, even on the darkest of days. However, during the last four years, I have lost more of myself than I have ever thought possible, including my optimism, and have come to the sad conclusion that hope does not always float. Sometimes, it sinks to a murky and seemingly endless bottom, where it can no longer be reached. I am on a lonely quest in a desperate search for my lost hope.