Wednesday, December 17, 2008

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy___________________

Now I won't publish this guy's email or family name, but I will publish this ridiculous email exchange.

Let me give you a bit of background.

Unbeknownst to me, I ended up getting a job at the same school with the guy who inspired this post: Ugly Americans, Young White Men, Korea and Me. I've been there for almost two years at this point. I've not revealed that I'm working with him simply because I never felt the need to do it. However, I was going to after the fact just to update the story. Now due to this silliness, it's happened even sooner.

If you read that post, you realize there is no love lost. None! I basically did my job and just didn't bother.

For the sake of clarity, I will refer to him as "Mad Nutter" and to myself as "Moi" later in this post.

Anyway, my job chose the change the terms of our contracts. I was already seriously considering not renewing simply because the atmosphere had changed, and I was getting tired of the commute. I work in Suwon but I live in Seoul. It's not bad, but it was getting to be tedious for me.

They gave us a deadline to request a renewal. This is standard procedure with them. We request the renewal. They then take it to a committee and we're informed whether they'll extend our contract or not. A little much on the procedure but okay. I didn't bother requesting a renewal. I was done after they informed us of the changes. Then the school did what a lot of colleges and universities do. They dismissed the instructors that had been with them for three years.

Now the rumor I heard was that after three years colleges and universities have to offer you tenure. I don't know if that's true or not. I've never researched it, but I figured that might get thrown out as a reason. It ends up they didn't explain what the reason was, and I don't think any of the dismissed instructors asked. For me it's neither here nor there, as I'm leaving but I do feel bad it was handled this way. After the offers or lack of offers were sent out, I got an inquiry from another co-worker asking if I'd been renewed. I'd explained I'd not asked for a renewal and that was that or so I thought.

Well, no, because tonight I got an email from Mad Nutter saying he wanted the teachers to ban together and take the school to court. I replied saying, since I'd chosen to not to renew that I don't have standing but good luck.

He writes back to say that someone has informed him that people who've been at a job in Korea for longer than two years have special rights. I point out that he's been there for more than two years but I've not. So again, I don't have standing and again, thanks and good luck.

He writes back again to say that if they win, I'd get an offer. I explain I DON'T WANT an offer and my reasons for that. Again, thanks and take care.

He comes back now talking about I'm inhuman because I don't want to know about my coworkers.

WTF? Really...wtf?

You'd think he would have gotten the hint after the first email, but NO! He starts a new email topic asking me am I always like this...um, yeah, asshole, I am.

This goes back and forth. I'm just pissed that this is actually going on. I explain that I thought I'd been pretty upfront. I'd said why I wasn't interested, only to be told I was "bragging". I went out of my way to wish him luck and say "thanks" only to be pestered and insulted.

What a fucking mental case. And, yes, you could accuse me of indulging it. But, I really did figure he'd just eventually move on. He had in the past.

Anyway, I eventually said, leave me alone or I'm taking this to the net. In the course of the emails, I'd asked him a question. He then chose to harp on this question as if it was some incredible error. Basically, it was the bait and switch technique people pull in an argument when they know their original point they've brought up basically is wrong. And his original point was I was inhuman, but no, it's not that I don't care about my co-workers. I don't care about going back and forth with your insane ass.

Guess what? Yeah, he didn't leave me alone. Had he, I wouldn't need to be up writing this crap out. You don't have to read it. I mean, I've described it pretty well...I think. However, here it is: five email threads between Mad Nutter and Moi.

I've eliminated his last name and email. He's also threatened that he's going to publish it too. Oh no! What will I do?!!!The first email - "job end":

Mad Nutter:

Hi,

Please send me an email if you are interested in defending against our termination. I have an expert, who says a new labor law in 2008 states that employees have special consideration (and rights) if they have worked at a job for longer than 2 years. Although we haven't rallied together in the past, a collaborative effort could/would see our jobs reinstated, which is deserving. Also, once being reinstated, long term employment is certain. This expert would like to meet with us, for FREE ADVICE and CONSULTATION. If it my deep understand that the decision to terminate us rests on the misbelief that we won't do our homework/reseach about our rights, moreso than having a solid legal right for doing so.

Working together on this matter would make each of our INVOLVEMENT/CONTRIBUTIONS in this matter, minimal.

I appreciate your response and input,

elliot

Moi:

I didn't request a renewal, so I didn't get terminated. I chose to leave.

Good luck

Mad Nutter:

just wanted to keep you updated, cheers,

Moi (and this is where, I admit, I ought to have just not replied):

Thanks but no need since I have no standing in this situation. Best of luck to you.

Take care.

R

Mad Nutter:

well, if we get reinstated.. you'd have an offer back on the table. And the court case gets settled, in court, in about 3 hours because it is a non-controversial case and the college doesn't really have any ground to stand on. Have it rapped up by February 1st.

Moi:

I was already considering leaving. Again, you presume too much about people you don't know well.

My choice is more about me and not over this school. Their actions only made my choice much easier. Ironically, I'm actually thankful for them confirming my feeling the school's environment had changed for the worse. I'm not happy with the changes in staff because that's negatively impacted the work environment. I've already turned down other job offers. Even in this scary economy, being unemployed isn't the issue for me right now. The issue is being exceptionally picky about my working conditions if I choose to stay a bit longer.

There is nothing illegal about a jerk being your management chain of command. Maybe their actions are illegal when it comes to workers' rights. That's yet to be determined. Plus, technically, this would only apply to the people who've been under contract for two years. I have not been employed by them for that long.

I do think if they can be held to account that would be good for the sake of current and future employees. However, beyond that, I have no interest in working for them any longer.

Again, I have no need or desire for updates.

Thanks.

RW

Clearly, he's pissed I said he was presumptuous, but yeah, that's no surprise.

Email two - "presume":

Mad Nutter:

Are you always like this?

Moi:

dude, I'm telling you I'm not interested in pursuing legal action AND that there is no need to contact me on it any further.

Yes, I'm always HONEST.

Mad Nutter:

there's been a few fibs. So you can't claim totally honesty.

Moi:

Okay, I'm going to ask YOU now are you always like this?

I haven't fibbed about jack. You just can't seem understand "thanks, but no thanks", so I went out of my way to explain WHY I'm simply not interested in this.

What the hell? I was nice. I said that I wasn't interested and that I didn't need any further updates and went out of my way to acknowledge that there very well could be a cause of action and thanked you for keeping me posted. (That's more than I can say you did for me when I let you know about there being no substantial rule change for the process to get permission to work at a camp.) You keeptcoming back with more reasons and I keep saying, I'm not interested.

1. I don't want to work for (school's name removed) anymore - including the management and, honestly, the commute.2. I didn't ask to work for them anymore.3. I have turned down recent job offers.

So fibs? Please, why would I bother fibbing to you?

Mad Nutter:

Well, it's just more human to want to know if 6 of my coworkers got sacked, I'd wanted to hear about what's going on, how they are doing, etc. Kept in the loop. That's why.

Why would you fib? You have something to prove to people. But that's not what people care about, or what makes people interesting. In literature, it is explained this way. In a world so impersonal, so inauthentic and cold - it's the human characteristics, in others, that people really care about.

You just said you are always honest, and that's kind of impossible so it has to, in itself, be another fib.

Moi:

I don't talk to any of you on a regular basis. I'll hear about it through the people I have relationships with.

I don't have a thing to prove to you, sorry. You over estimate your importance. You're pestering me. I'm telling you to leave me alone. It's simple.

I'm honest. I want you to leave me alone.

Email three - "question":

Mad Nutter:

how can you ask me a couple of questions and then tell me I'm pestering you when I respond??

Moi:

Duh.

Quid pro quo. I didn't ask you anything until that last email, so don't twist it. I'm no novice.

You've continued to pester me for I don't know how many emails simply because I'm not interested in whatever you're going to try to do. I've been clear about my reasons for not wanting further contact but courteous in wishing you luck.

If I've got to deal with this stupidity, I can fire the question right back at you.

So again, are you always like this?

Email four - "irony":

Mad Nutter:

No,

The irony is that in the same email you told me to stop pestering you and then you followed it up with a question.

And you did again in your last email, "continue to pestering me, but since this is so stupid, are you always like this??"

twice,

nice,

ell

Moi:

Elliot,

Pestering and answering my question are two different things.

It's really ridiculous that you try to be so smug but have such trouble understanding that basic concept.

You asked me a question and I answered it. You then decided to keep it going by saying no, I was a liar because I'm out to impress you. But the point is if you weren't so insecure you wouldn't see me as having denied a job offer as bragging. I explained why I was going to quit and why I don't want to work there. You're so isolated that you assume I need contact with you to stay updated on what's going on with some of the people I've worked with. No I don't need you for updates, thanks.

So I'm going to lay this down.

1) answer the question or 2) leave me alone.

If you chose not to do either of these, you'll have to talk to your attorney about suing me too because I'm about to publish this entire email exchange with no names or emails on the Internet. However, if you push me, your name will be on it too.

This IS a threat. I've been dealing with this ridiculous series of emails for a hours at this point and, believe it or not, I've got work to do.

It's interesting that you're real quick to try to verbally attack me in emails where no one else can see it. However, I'm sick of it. I told you I wasn't interested in what you were doing. I told you why. I wished you luck and thanked you for including me. You accused me of lying and essentially being inhuman because I don't want to discuss this silliness with you.

Sorry man, but that's ridiculous and you know it. Now you're harping on the fact that I've asked you a question but I've also asked you to stop pestering me. Now that I've explained the difference, maybe you get it. If you don't maybe email Noam Chomsky and he can explain it to you.

But ooops, I realized that in my haste to hit send, I'd fucked up and wrote "either" when I meant to write "neither".

So, since one big issue has been him simply refusing to admit he's made an error, this is actually perfect. I get to eat crow and point out that he's loathe to ever do so.

Of course, going through it bit by bit, I realize I was right the first time. Oh well, I proved my point that 1) I make errors and 2) when I do, I'll say so ;)

Moi:

I hate typos, but this is important to clarify.

If you chose not to do either of these, you'll have to talk to your attorney about suing me too because I'm about to publish this entire email exchange with no names or emails on the Internet. However, if you push me, your name will be on it too.

Sorry this should read:

If you chose not to do neither of these, you'll have to talk to your attorney about suing me too because I'm about to publish this entire email exchange with no names or emails on the Internet. However, if you push me, your name will be on it too.

And that is me acknowledging when I've made an error. Funny you can't do the same.

RW

Mad Nutter:

well, if you tell me to leave you alone and then ask me to answer a question.. and blackmail me into following one of your two scenarios. It's all a little strange.

elliot

Moi:

Published...now that's not strange.

G'night.

Mad Nutter:

how is that not strange, just because you followed through on blackmail??

lost,

e

I'm on the phone at this point talking to a friend, describing this situation and laughing my ass off. I don't answer. When I finally read it, he's said this.

Mad Nutter:

look for the ENTIRE email correspondence to be posted with your name,

cheerse

Damn folks, it looks like he's now threatened me! Oh no!!!

Moi:

Will do...funny what you don't know, again.

And, so far, last email thread five - "challenge" (ha! hard to do since I think I made the threat):

Mad Nutter:

I challenge you to publish the ENTIRE correspondence. I can leave you the dust in any debate, so we'll move on to getting you to publishing the ENTIRE correspondence.

Dude, you're an idiot. I have a blog that I've written for awhile about living here in Korea.

I've published it there with only your first name and the dialogue name of "Mad Nutter". Of course, that blog has my blogger handle, but also my real name in certain pieces as I write for one of the papers here. However, I'll make sure to sign my name at the end so it's there. Bluff called...

It's up. Have at it.

Click here: Crap That I Won't Miss: Weird Foreigners

Now, please go away.

R

Now, I hit "publish" and, as you see above, I informed Mad Nutter that it was done.

The message below was in my inbox this morning, as since this is about publishing the complete thread, here it is.

Delusional.

Mad Nutter:

i don't give in to blackmail.. "choose option 1 or 2 or else". My guess is you'll leave that out.

Someone "guessed" wrong ;)

Signed in frustration,

Regina Walton

P.S. What is hilarious to me is he "challenged" me to do exactly what I said I was going to do...hello? I told you I was going to publish this mess, stupid.

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About Me

I'm an L.A. native who lived in the Land of the Morning Calm, South Korea, for a bit too long. I had a great time while I was there. I have a B.A. and law degree, but I earned a master's in international studies at Ewha Womans University. It was then I discovered that I love writing, thanks to this blog, and the things that grew out of writing it. For those who need to know where Korea is located. Korea is a peninsula that is split into two countries (North Korea and South Korea). It's located in NE Asia between Japan and Taiwan. It's below the eastern coast of China and Russia.
I moved back from NYC in 2011. It was exciting but definitely challenging. I "made" it in NYC and well, as the song says.
I'm back in the SF Bay area now. I'm now a Program Manager – Marketing Events at Salesforce on their Developer Community team.
Leave a comment to contact me. Remember you have to include your email for a reply. (I screen my comments, so I won't publish it to the world, don't worry.)