How? HOW are all these politicians so bad at this? How can you be this bad at sports analogies? I thought you were men of the people. I thought you cared about THE REAL AMERICA. I thought you spoke for the flyover stats and the blue collar workers. How can you be so conscious of playing to that demographic and fuck up a football analogy? HOW?

Now, granted, Newt is a dinosaur. It’s entirely plausible that both teams were running the wishbone offense the last time he watched a football game, sometime between when he was marrying his geometry teacher to dodge the draft and when he was divorcing her because she had cancer and wasn’t hot enough to be the first lady. So maybe in his mind it made total sense and he really nocked this one out of the rink. I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt there. But if you’ve actually never watched football in the last forty years —which, again, is really the only explanation for making this analogy — then maybe don’t try to whip out a very specific reference like that.

P.S. Truth be told part of me feels like a scumbag for that pot shot at Newt. The other part of me then remembers he divorced his CANCER-RIDDEN wife so yeah I’m totally fine playing in the mud. Politicians continue to be the worst human beings in the world.

P.P.S. Visual representation of Trump getting ahead of his offensive line