Was it the most expensive, or the cheapest, or something else to do with the price? No.

Was it … hang on a minute, why am I talking to myself?

Actually, this record is something that I, as an agent, would not want to have anything to do with.

Because it was the speed with which a rival estate agent tried to steal one of our instructions.

We have been marketing a house for THREE WHOLE DAYS and we are the first and only estate agents to be involved with it. We deliberately set today to be its inaugural day of viewings, so unsurprisingly (you would have thought), the house has not yet been sold.

But, clearly, THREE DAYS on the market, is too long for some people.

Which is why, I presume, when I opened up the house for today’s viewings, I found a touting card from another agent: a “personal message”, no less, from that firm’s branch manager.

Now, when I say “personal message”, it’s not actually addressed to the property, and bears, presumably, the same message as thousands of others … but let’s not split hairs.

The point is this: the message reads “I am the Manager of your local “h***t” branch and I have spotted your property remains on the market and unsold…”.

Shock, horror! Can you imagine that? After just THREE DAYS AND NO VIEWINGS YET, the house remains UNSOLD!

Whatever have we been doing? Sitting on our hands, no doubt (well, actually, no, we’ve been lining up viewings).

GOOD GRIEF!

Now … if the house had been on the market for three years, or three months possibly, it might have been a little more acceptable. Three weeks might even carry some weight for a campaign of this sort in what’s been a “hot” market.

But, THREE DAYS before this aggressive marketing kicks in???? Oh, puh-lease.

Oh, and by the way, people at “h***t” who organise these things: you’re supposed to warn potential clients of the very real risk that they may end up being liable to pay two sets of fees when you go rushing in trying to steal business from other companies.

But what do you care, when you’ll just find another gullible replacement as soon as the pressure of being reported to the Property Ombudsman, Trading Standards, et al, becomes too much to bear for the current branch manager?<

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