A few weeks ago, shortly after my 16th Diabirthday, I made my way to Las Vegas for the 2nd UnConference and my 1st. I had some guesses of what to expect from people who had attended before, but I also had no idea at the same time.

and long story short, I had an amazing time. Reconnecting with some people and meeting some people for the first time. This conference has the “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” mentality- translated to the conference- it means that it was a safe place for people to open up- and it was.

I felt like the UnConference was “Diabetes Camp for Adults.” I had so many of the same sentiments that I have not just as a camper but as a volunteer too at Diabetes Camp. The amount of “me too” in the room made my heart full. For me it doesn’t matter how many times I hear or feel that, it’s strengthening every time.

I also really enjoyed the fact that no one was “talking at me” which I feel like happens SO much when it comes to Diabetes. We all talked together- about our experiences- our tips and tricks- and everything in between. and I enjoyed the break from my phone and social media.

But for me- and what really makes this blog the right fit for post 100 is opening up about the good and bad.

Over the past year, I’ve worked really hard on practicing being honest about the good and the bad. For so long, I would only acknowledge “the good” outloud, often leaving “the bad” to just myself and maybe occasionally the people in my inner circle.

But that’s not life.

We are surrounded with images of perfect CGM graphs that are usually conveniently zoomed in to show only the straight line in range. We only hear about the triumphs and how you have to prove everyone wrong and never let Diabetes stop you. Often only hearing people from certain walks of life, SES, and no offense- but mostly parents (even though their voice is needed and important).

I know that I do this too even though I try not to.

This is not accurate of real life. This happens not just in Diabetes though- everyone does it.

I want to hear from all types of people living it everyday- in addition to all of the people in our lives. I want to see that CGM graph that has all of the mountains and valleys. I want to hear about how much it sucks and can add some obstacles. And that it’s okay not to be the biggest and the best in life to prove something (it’s great to have that too- but not everyone is an athlete or a celebrity- where are my kickass people living their lives?).

I want to see and hear about real life. I want to have the “me too” mentality all the time like at the Diabetes UnConference. That conference was a representation of real life- packed with amazing people in a few short days. Low treatments everywhere. Water getting chugged and insulin getting delivered for highs. Talking about the little things and the positives. Talking about the system. Talking about the bits that suck.

That’s real life. I want that represented. I want #shittygraphs (aka #reallifegraphs) to be what we see and share. I want to practice that. I’m still working on that- in my writing and in real life.

See- I struggle to open up. It takes pushing, time, and reaching my limit for it to actually happen- and often that only happens in writing. I’m not so great at expressing myself with words- I struggle to- I have to fight through and break down walls to do so. I often don’t know what words to use. People often have to pry into me. I don’t know how to vocalize anything besides anger or happiness very well. This introvert also finds it exhausting, and I get an emotional hangover/emotionally exhausted quickly.

But I’m working on that and have been since I entered college. I’ve definitely improved, but I have a ways to go.

But at the UnConference. I did something that was not characteristic of me. I opened up. I opened up to some people I barely knew or had just met. and about something that’s “not so great.” and I wasn’t forced. I even cried in public and saw the high BG spike that always happens come with it. I found other “me too’s” that weren’t necessarily related to Diabetes. It just happened. I did of course feel uncomfortable and that pesky emotional hangover- but that was coming from within myself- not the people around me who made me feel safe and respected. and I did feel better afterwards (after the emotional hangover faded and my BG came back down). I hope to do this more often- in person.

So here’s to an amazing experience at the Diabetes UnConference (I can’t wait to go again) and here’s to 100 Blog Posts. Here’s to the next 100 more (that will come a little faster now that I am regularly blogging).

Thank you to everyone I met. Thank you to everyone who made this possible.

Here’s to being open and true and you. and finding the tribe that will welcome, support, and encourage it.

Not related to this post- I recently created a facebook page for my blog. (It’d be awesome if you liked the page and invited/shared it with people to as well!)

Coming of Age with Chronic Illness and Mental Health

Disclaimer

I do not have any kind of medical degree (science and math are not my thing). My views are also my own and do not reflect where I work or any groups I am involved in. This is not medical or psycho-social advice. Please consult your doctor. Everyone also has different stories. experiences, and views. Please respect those- including mine.
Thanks!- Mindy Bartleson