Emma Glover

I really do have a thing for Emma Glover. I feel like it’s down to me and about twenty to fifty million men vying for her affections. May the odds be ever in my favor. Or not. I’m still fighting for the incredible allure of this brunette visual wonderment who manages to stop me in my tracks with just a smile. When she gets her body into the action, then I just go catatonic, for weeks, they’ll probably bury me alive one day but I care not, for my last vision will be that of Emma Glover and her faptastic funbags.

You can’t get much more American than Emma Glove baring her wares in a stars and stripes bikini in front of desert cactus plants. Emma isn’t American, so I suppose you could get slightly more American, but my point is, I’d like to show Emma how I can name all fifty states as I point to each star on her bikini. Alaska and Hawaii naturally once her top comes off. Ever so sweet and hot. Bless you Emma Glover, you are an international treat. Enjoy.

I love Fridays. I lust Emma Glover. This is a match made in Egotastic! heaven. The passion inducing bosom brunette hottie glamour model gets down and ta-ta showy in her home office in order to titillate and keep you from getting any last work done before the weekend. As if work is something important. Nobody ever says on their deathbed how they wished they’d worked more. I can tell you many many will wish they had spent more time ogling and motorboating perfectly plump chest pillows like Emma. Myself included.

On the final day of the work week, we celebrate the rightful righteous set of love mounds that make this world go round in a peacefully passionate manner. This spinning orb has enough of the dark side, the hot chest side is the path to happiness. Embrace some boobies. Thank God It’s Funbags!

The day Emma Glover started shooting for Playboy was one of the happiest days of my life. I’ll have to have kids someday I suppose to start putting that list into some kind of perspective, but the chance to leer at the ridiculously hot brunette without her clothes on under the visual direction of the photo masters at Playboy is quite the wonderful thing. These are the kinds of things I light candles for late at night.

Emma has brilliantly brought her British aplomb, make that two plums, to help celebrate the Stars and Stripes during this week of American Independence Day celebrations. Jolly good show really. If only Emma would come to my 4th of July BBQ, my summer bucket list would be already complete. I have vegan options, Emma. I just make people eat them in the corner of shame, but for you, I could make the exception. So damn hot! Enjoy.

I like to think of Emma Glover and I as BFFs. That’s like FWB without the B. Oh, that I could have more platonic relationships with gorgeous women in my life. That’s the ticket to happiness, not to mention painful crying tears throughout the overnight hours. Nevertheless, while I may never truly experience the full and ample pleasure of knowing Emma Glover in any biblical fashion, the fun parts of the bible that is, that does not take away from the happy tingles I receive viewing her absolutely perfect body and outrageously hot funbags as herein in her new pictorial for Playboy Magazine.

To celebrate this majestic views of her her royal sexiness, I’m going to become slightly catatonic, followed by a brief frenzy of activity, and then a bath of some sort. I’m also going to extend to you ONE WEEK FREE TRIAL on Playboy.TV. Because it’s almost mother’s day and mom would want you to be happy. Especially for free. I wouldn’t be pimping this if it wasn’t bound to make you happier than that tuna sandwich you’re about to eat. And you had to pay for that.

Emma Glover, someday, in some parallel universe where there are two suns, I shall experience your two moons with galactic passion. But, for today, it’s all about scratch and sniff on my monitor. I can do the two simultaneously thanks to monumental levels of practice. Enjoy.

Damn, I do believe I’m in love with Emma Glover. If love is that knot you feel in your stomach or potentially lower organs every time you see a crazy hot brunette with massively perfect mammaries removing her top on camera. And I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what love is.

In her new photoshoot for our friends at Nuts magazine, Emma takes us behind the scenes of her simple, but powerfully passion inducing jugular reveals, dropping her teasy top to reveal the finest pair of funbags this side of heaven. Emma, someday, you and I will have to go for a Starbucks coffee. And that day will be the day they open up their first clothing optional coffee house. I don’t like their brew, I just want to get strange with you. Call me, I’m in the book under Horny Bastard With Zero Shame, I’m the 987,000th guy listed. Enjoy.

Continuing on with our hottie British line of regal temptresses, Emma Glover deserves far more accolade for her stellar good looks and ridiculously hot body that can be delivered with mere words. I’d probably use semaphore flags if given the option. That way I could wave Emma in for a soft landing in my cocoon of Glover appreciation where I keep a shrine to the crazy hot brunette.

Emma Glover is not afraid to get her clothes off outdoors to show you her fine funbags so deeply full of future fun time stories yet to be told. Every time she takes her top off, an angel gets its wings. At least, that’s the best way to describe the feeling I get in my nether regions. Oh, Emma, you give so much and ask for so little. I really really like that kind of relationship. You’re my hero. Enjoy.

You know we’ve lusted British glamour model Emma Glover since about the time many of you first confirmed that you were anatomically male. She’s just one fine looking Britty brunette. However, such as the rules of glamour modeling go in Jolly Old, we never really got a full peek at Emma’s birthday suit goodness that is until now. Thanks to Playboy and Playboy.TV celebrating it’s brand new totally free week, we may feast our eyes upon the full frontal goodies of Emma the Alluring.

This is the first time ever that Playboy.TV has offered a free trial to potential customers. In the very least, you owe it to yourself and the opposable thumbs God gave you to see just how much bawdy fun a TV channel dedicated to sextastic nekkid girls playing around can be. What, were you thinking more cable TV news coverage of missing planes and riots around the world? Nay, my friend, go for the good looking nekkid girls every time. Enjoy.