It's been a hectic week. I have the day off from babysitting today. I had every intention of getting back on track today since my new journal I bought on ebay arrived. But it's fair week. Fair week is a BIG deal around here. My BIL shows dairy cows and this year will also be assisting in beef and with administration stuff as volunteer work for his college scholarship. So we spend ALOT of time down there. I am thinking since I ate some of teh fair junk yesterday I would limit myself to a funnel cake sometime this week and then try to eat healthier. They have baked potatoes, maybe I can find a way to keep the toppings low point and eat that. We'll see.

I've been struggling for MONTHS now, just not being able to get on a roll again. I am sure some of you know the feeling. I have been comforting myself with food alot, when I am stressed, irritated, bored. It's that same old deal that DH can persue whatever he wants and I am stuck here with kids. So I am trying to cope and so far I have been coping with food. But I even do it once the kids are in bed. It's like they go down and I can relax and I reach for food to sooth the ruffled feathers of the day. I just can't seem to get on track. I have no clothes that fit that should be motivation.

Well since I have the day off I need to clean, and do laundry. I did put my resume in for the preschool teacher position at teh preschool that I was considering sending my duaghter. We'll see how that pans out. It may be more trouble than it's worth b/c I'll need childcare for my 2 year old 3 mornings a week, and then we'll have to arrange care for the baby I watch.

Well DS is into stuff and DH is yelling at me, so I ahve to run have a good one.

Hey Misty, that sounds like a great idea going for the teaching job. why not?? I'm sure it won't be too hard to get a sitter for your 2 year old and for the other person to find a sitter for her baby. I think it would be so good for you to be out of the house and I know your daughter would love being in preschool. Good luck with it, I hope it works out.

I've been off plan this past week or so something fierce, luckily I was only up a few pounds when I weighed myself on Saturday and I cut back a little Saturday and Sunday and also made sure I drank lots of water and I'm already down 1.5 lbs. Last week we were all on vacation together. Dh did not want to do sh!t, he was miserable and moody a fair bit of the time. We went to the beach for a few hours on Tuesday, hung around the house on Wed, back to the beach for an hour on Thursday, ran errands around town on Friday, and pretty much nothing over the weekend. Tuesday nite we went out to a nice restaurant, we had a gift card from Xmas and I had 1/2 a lobster and steak. It was really nice though the lobster wasn't all that great, not as much as what you would think. I had this incredible garlic mashed potatoes, oh I could have eaten a whole plate full of just that! For the 3 of us it was over $100 not including the tip and we didn't have any alcohol. So we don't go to this place too often! Ds behaved himself pretty well so we were pleased. Ds and I are still on vacation this week so we are planning another trip to the beach, the zoo and to the royal ontario museum. Also I still have some shrubs and other yard work I need to get down this week. I don't have to go back to work until next wednesday. It has been really nice having so much time off, I really needed the break. Oh I didn't tell you that I went in and had my meeting with my manager about my sick time. It was pretty much nothing, like I thought it would be. She has her bosses to report to as well to show that she is doing something to try and control sick time. Anyway she had out a calender that showed my sick time and it was quite easy to see where I had my 2 bouts of bronchitis and then practically like clock work every 3-4 weeks I had a day off because of migraines. We were talking about that and I told her that I had been working with my family dr to get the right bc pills and other medications that I have been trying. She used to have them too so she is very aware of what they are like. So it was no big deal. She started off once talking about me with finding child care and I said right away that I would never call in sick for that. I told her that if I needed a day off where I didn't have child care for some reason I would take a day without pay, I wouldn't call in sick. He had the chicken pox awhile back and that is what I had to do, take 1 day off without pay because he was sick and I couldn't take him to daycare. so that went off well, I guess we'll see what happens in the future. I haven't had a sick day since May I think.

Otherwise nothing exciting going on. I think I got really sidetracked with weight loss because of the bariatric clinic thing. Here I thought I was going to be able to get the help I need and now it is not likely that I will ever get into the clinic at all or it may be a year or 2. So I think that kind of ticked me off. I'm quite willing to do a very low calorie diet if it is prescibed by the dr and I know my husband would be more supportive of it if I was doing it through the clinic. As it is when I did try the bars and shakes he was not supportive and it didn't work. So I guess I am starting from scratch here again. I think I'd like to give Dr. Phil's rapid start plan another try, I'd probably lose about 10 lbs in 2 weeks if I stuck to it 100%. The last time I did it I lost 6 lbs in 2 weeks and I think I stuck to it like 75% of the time. so that is what I am planning right now for diet.

As for exercise I can ride my exercise bike but I am getting over a funny problem with my feet. I tried a pair of those Crocs but I think I got a size too big and it really screwed up my left foot. I think I am starting to get over it now but for a few days I could barely walk in any kind of shoe. I could walk barefoot but when I put on my sandals my foot and leg were very sore. So I don't want to have to walk a lot until my foot is 100%. I guess it is a good thing I'm on vacation eh? Though I don't think my feet were too bad in my running shoes. those Crocs are supposed to be so good too. Anyone else have them? I have a size medium, probably if I got a small I might have better luck with them

Misty my clothes not fitting were a real motivator to get my butt back in gear. When I lost the 36 pounds I have given everything away. So bought all summer clothes in smaller size well one day put on a pair of black slacks and broke I mean broke the zipper talk about humiliating. So that shook me up because I had promised myself I was not ever going to buy a size 24 again. Well if I want to cover my behind it has to get smaller.

Hope the teaching position works for you. I think it would be good for you. You are so talented and this would help you get over some of that emotional eating because I think you would be using some of your giftedness.

Jen have you tried WW at all it is so sensible.. Slow for sure but sensible. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise you can't have surgery. The latest studies are coming out with interesting things saw on one of the morning shows where they are trading one addiction for another now alcohol or drugs or gambling I am afraid that would be me. I am such an emotional eater. Working on that myself. I have tried those crocks on at the store and they seem like they would be so great for gardening. Enjoy your vacation.

Hey chicks!! I am doing pretty good today, really too hot to eat. I should be getting my treadmill this weekend, yeah!! I am ready to lose this weight, I have some cuter summer clothes that I could wear last summer, but are too tight this year, as I gained back all the weight I lost last year and then some!! My goal is to be back in some of them before it gets too cool to wear them.
Misty, i know how it feels to just get off track and have a horrible time getting back on again.
Jen, I am lucky in that my DH supports me in anything I've tried to lose weight. Maybe you should try WW for a while. If you get bored with the flex plan, you could always go to core plan for a while.

There's a weird phenomenon going on in town today. I live in a college town, and if you drive through the neighborhoods closer to campus, you can see students in front yards with all of their belongings around them. You see, most of their leases ended today but don't start until tomorrow, so they don't know what to do with all of their stuff. It's comical, but I totally feel their pain!

Hi, Misty. I'm glad you're back! Fair is a tough time, but just try to enjoy things in moderation. Maybe you could split a funnel cake two days of the week (have half and give the other half away), so you're still only eating one total funnel cake, but you get to enjoy it twice! I love fair food!! I'm glad you applied for the job. You'd be great!

One more day of this agonizing heat. I hope I survive!!

That restaurant sounds great, Jen. I'm with you...we don't typically go to fancy restaurants like that. It would be fun to have a giftcard. It's good to hear about the sick time ending up not being a big deal. I'm a little surprised that you can't take sick leave for a sick child, but I don't know how things like that usually work.

Hey all. No I never intended to have the surgery. That was not ever in the plan. I thought though that this clinic could give me some personal therapy to figure out why I eat the way I do, some help from a nutritionist, medical advice etc. Also they have a supervised high protein diet offered (you still have to pay for it but it is a lot less than say something like Optifast) that would really jump start my weight loss and give me motivation to continue on.

Anyway today was a nice day. Ds and I went to the beach for a few hours. Got a bit of a burn on my one leg. I never put sunscreen on my legs otherwise I'd never get a tan on them, they are always freakishly pasty white. The rest of me did tan a lot more which was nice. Ds got a tiny burn on each cheek, nothing major. I'm really careful to cover him with sunscreen because he's got my white skin and he'd burn in 2 minutes otherwise. It was horribly hot here today, it was about 110 degrees with the humidity and tomorrow is going to be even worse. Certainly hit my water quota today!

It's crazy hot here too. I really have to force myself to take the kids outside, especially days when we are here b/c we now have the a/c going. It's so hot that even sitting outside is uncomfortable. When the weather is tolerable heck even in the 80s I have them outside 3-4 hours a day. But this is just yucky.

I am going to try to get back on plan today. I've packed my lunch and my breakfast. So we'll see.

DS has to return to the eye dr. today. His right eye turns in and he squints alot. They don't think it's a lazy eye b/c he is so young, they aren't sure what it is though b/c he is so difficult to test. The dr is leaning towards it being an issue with his focal point. I really hope he won't need glasses...that will be a nightmare, we'll have to duct tape them to his face!

Morning all. Yeah Misty I know what you mean. We went out to wave at dh when he left for work and that was about all I wanted to go outside for the day! It is only 8am and it is 105 with the humidity. So I am undecided about what to do. I have all this week and Monday and Tuesday next week for vacation and there are a couple of places I wanted to take ds but I don't know about going anywhere today. I may just stay indoors today and see about later in the week, it is supposed to cool down a bit.

Anyway I was thinking about it last night and it occurred to me that a couple of people responding to my really long post yesterday suggested WW. I think WW is a great plan and I did it about 4 years ago and lost weight. The thing is that right now I can't afford it and also I hate having to count anything. Looking up point values for food and figuring all that out drives me bonkers. I never could stick to a plan where I had to count anything be it points, calories, grams of carbs or fat or whatever. I am better with the Dr. Phil plan where all you have to figure out are the number of portions. I decided to go with that again starting today. For those of you who have been listening to this particular vent about this woman I know who had weight loss surgery, yesterday was her 6 month anniversary of the surgery and she has lost 178 lbs. Her progress pics are just amazing. Like on one hand I am so happy for her but at the same time so incredibly jealous.

Well have a good day everyone, stay cool and hydrated!

p.s. I am going to start a bunch of threads to track water, food and exercise. I have a hard time journalling at home, I will usually come on-line and do it here though. Please join me!!!!

Hey ladies!!
it is crazy hot here, with a heat index of 115!! It was like 98 here today with a heat index of 112!. I can't go out in heat like this, it makes me light headed and I have a hard time breathing. Can't wait to get my treadmill!!

We went out this morning and did the kiddie pool thing in the yard for a couple hours before the heat got too bad. Then we stayed inside the rest of the day. That is until I had to walk home.

I know what you mean about counting, Jen. It can get very tedious. I need it, as much as I resent it I need it. SO I can see where others may do better with out it

Steph-That was funny about the college kids. What a silly system...all be it VERY funny to envision!!

OK HUGE VENT COMING ON... FEEL FREE TO SKIP IT
My BIL wrecked his truck. So he has Dh's truck at the fair all week. So DH rode his motorcycle to work. Then came and took my van to take DS to the eye dr. So DD and I had to walk the 1/4 a mile home. She's tired, whiney and so am I.

This morning before DS's eye dr appointment I call our Primary Dr to double check that we don't need a refferal for the eye specialist...we do. We didn't know this before b/c the secretary was out and the ins company was totally unhelpful. So this is his second appointment, I called before the first one and the substitue receptionist lady didn't know. So DH and I decided that this was important and he needed to be seen. Now we find out indeed we need a medical refferal for the specialist. BUT...there is no actual primary Dr at the office right now, b/c our dr left and the new one doesn't start until September. So we can't get a refferal without going to see a new dr. So we're paying for two eye specialist appointments out of pocket though we have ins. But it gets better...they can't freaking tell what's wrong. They have to put him under to see, b/c he's so young and won't look straight long enough. But b/c the dr is in NY and we're in PA and we can't get a refferal anyway we have to see a PA dr probably. Which means we'll have to do all the initial stuff tahtw e've done in these last two appointments again. So not only will we be paying for these appointments they were USELESS!

DH had the gaul to lecture me about PA and NY doctors blah blah blah. He told me to call a dr. I did. The ones I know. My dad is an optician, I started at his office and b/c my son is so young they reffered me to another dr whom my dad has worked with and LOVED and highly recommended so I went with it. DH NEVER said one word about them not covering it. He took him to the appointments! NOW he lectures me?

There is more but I'll not bore you with any more details about it. I'll sum it up by saying my husband can be a real A$$ who ignores every word I say and then blames me for the strife that comes from it.

I'm going to go drink a wine cooler now and hope my temper is calmed by the time he walks in the door. I am so upset I was swearing to my gramma...not at her but at my husband while I tried to get a phone number from her. I hope you guys have a great night!!!

Misty, enjoy your wine cooler, and hopefully they will figure out what is wrong with your DS's eyes soon. I understand about your husband, they can be pigs. Mine acts like that sometimes, but thankfully, not often.

Hope the wine cooler was what you needed! My daughter had her baby today so I am in Ohio. This is such a great time. The hottest dayof the year. Hard to believe but stayed within points otday so pray I can keep it up. Hang tough gals and stay cool!

Morning all. Hot as blazes here again today already and it is not even 8am. Hopefully thunderstorms this afternoon will cool things off. I think we are going to try the museum trip today. We have to drive into the city and then get on a train to get to Toronto because I absolutely hate driving anywhere around Toronto and considering the price of gas it will probably be cheaper to take the train and a lot less stressful. Then we have to take the subway to the museum. I'm hoping ds is going to behave, if he does we will have a good time because generally he likes new things but sometimes he can be very annoying and whiny when we are doing something new and then the day will be a complete and utter failure. So keep your fingers crossed for me.

Yesterday was 2/3rds a on plan day. I did the exercise, I drank the water but I totally blew it on the food but not until the evening and I figured out why. Dh decided after ds went to bed that he wanted to stay upstairs and read but I wanted to watch tv and so I started snacking right away. Total binge. The good thing is that I am down .4lbs but I know that is water. Anyway trying for a completely on plan day today.

Totally blew my points yesterday...sheesh. I didn't have the wine cooler, instead I had M and M's LOL.

Jen-I hope you and DS have a fabulous day! It sounds really fun and exciting! It will be great!

CONGRATUALTIONS LUFLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did she have? What's the name? I just love babies...especially when they belong to other people Great job on staying OP!!!!

Steph-I thought I replyed to your post about the health assessment guy, but I guess I didn't. Sorry about that. Personally I think 137 is really LOW for someone who is 5' 8". I'm only 5' 3" and they say 115-135 for me. I would talk to my regular doctor. WW weight range is a healthy one and is based on the standards doctors have been using for years.

What does he mean that you are at the lowest 10%ile? My daughter is in the 5th%ile for height, so that means 95% of kids are as tall or taller. So saying that you are in the 10th%ile would say to me that 90% weigh the same or more, which seems like a good thing to me. And if you dropped 20-30 pounds you'd fall off the low end of the chart and be emaciated looking. With %iles like this there is usally and accepted range for "average" in any test I have ever done in speech the 10th%ile is really low, so that to me would mean that you are below average in weight.

So if that is how he explained it then I think he did a poor job, though I am sure you got an expanded version. I just think he's off his mark....in my professional opinion LOL. You know where your body feels good. Your WW weight goal is a healthy goal. Just b/c the guy has a PhD doesn't mean he knows your body better than you. So if you feel you could lose weight and feel better then it's up to you and we're here to support you, but do what you feel is right don't let someone else's number dictate how you feel.

Well, off to do dishes and laundry. I was up half the night talking to DH, who had not one clue why I was so upset. We didn't accomplish anything. Oh well. It's ok, I need to remember that I tend to dwell on the bad and never express the good and overall I have a blessed life. Ok off to clean. have a fabulous on plan day ladies!

Hey there. Well the trip was a success overall. He was pretty good and we ended up on the bus instead of the train and then he was okay on the subway. He gets upset with loud sudden noises. He was pretty good at the museum too, not that he really looked at anything, you can't expect a 4 year old to appreciate 1000 year old Grecian pottery but they have a nice area especially for kids and he liked looking at a lot of the Egyptian stuff. I'm counting my 2 hours of walking as my exercise for today. Between all that and the heat I have no energy for exercise! Hope everyone had a good day.

Misty - men practically never understand why you are upset unless you spell it out for them loud and clear. Say "I am upset because you..... and it made me feel....". Otherwise you might as well be talking ancient Sanskrit for all they understand!