The Front Line for the Awesomeness Offensive

Guess the State: Woman Panhandling for Breast Implants

ABC: Florida’s Panhandle may have a lot of panhandlers – people who are down on their luck and in need of a handout – but one woman is putting a slightly different twist on the practice. She’s raising money for a cause that’s literally near to her heart — breast implants.

The banner reads, “Not homeless, need boobs,” and it’s emblazoned in capital letters. It’s a unique slogan in the world of panhandling, but Andrews says she’s just being truthful.

Florida really needs its own reality TV show. Honestly, I’ve blogged about this on several occasions. Every time there’s something crazy in the news, it’s in Florida. Every time I watch COPS, it’s in Florida. Wtf is going on down there? Is the heat just fucking with everybody’s heads? It’s like the head makes everyone just want to get drunk and do drugs, but there’s no infrastructure or public transportation systems, so everyone drives fucked up.

Anyway, I totally support this woman. I hope she gets her boobs. But would I give her change if I drove by? Fuck no. I don’t give my change to anybody. Well, nickels and pennies I put in the tip jar. But I save my quarters and dimes. If there’s one of those cans to donate to sick kids I put it in there. But if you’re a dude on the street just asking for money from me, you aren’t going to get it. Just because you’re a dude asking for money for drugs doesn’t mean I’d give it to a woman asking for money for boobs either. You want my change? Work for it. Play a saxophone or a guitar or something.

It’ll be funny to see how feminists react to this chick. Do they support her and say she’s “empowering women?” Or do they call her a sell-out to her gender for upgrading her man magnets?