Writing the wrongs since 2006

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Filthy Quick-Fingered Flashing Barskets!!!!

Filthy Quick-Fingered Flashing Barskets!!!!

So I’m riding along happily (probably too fast but that’s mere opinion), and dodging the masses of Numb-nuts who seem to have found a driving license lying around and adopted it as their own, and I decide to overtake someone.

I aim to ride on the roads without EVER causing anyone else to brake or swerve to avoid me, but, of course, we all make mistakes.

I open the throttle and just as I’m pulling alongside the car in front, another car appears going the opposite way.

“Oh gosh” thinks I, realising he’s coming a bit too fast for me to be able to complete my overtaking manuevre without having a head-on crash.

I have three choices:

1. Hit the car head on.2. Pin the throttle and try and cut in front of the car I was overtaking, or3. Slam on the anchors in a straight line then pull back in behind the car again.

I opt for number 3.

So the rear of the bike starts lifting as I’m desperately scrubbing speed off, and I’m using every ounce of concentration on using my brakes to maximum effect, and planning an ‘escape route’ to get out of trouble.

And then what happens?

The fucktard coming towards me starts flashing his headlights at me!

Gee, thanks! No fucking pressure or anything. I already KNOW I’m holding my life in my hands, and now I’m fucking half blind to go along with it!!!

And how the Hell do these people, when they should be concerned about an imminent collision, manage to find the headlight flashing switch???