Did I mention that the pool was at the hotel where we were renting a banquet room?

Or that when Reid walked his damp self out of the hospital it was in -20C weather?And he didn't have winter jacket?

I wanted to Gibb-smack him when I found out, but the company frowns on that sort of thing.

The fool. I hope he doesn't end up with pneumonia or something. Alcohol can be tricky because in huge amounts it makes people fail to realise how cold the weather is. Here where I live you are allowed to drink from 16 years old and up, and we often have high-school students and young university students partying in the streets in the middle of the winter night in very flimsy clothes. Bare midriff, deep cleavage, the works. Sooo not healthy...

Don't put the gallon of blue paint on the bumper of your car. If you do, don't leave it there while you're talking to a friend and pulling out the rest of the items out of your car. If you ignored the first two points and knocked the gallon of paint off the bumper and on to the driveway where the can opened, don't leave the paint there for any length of time. I guess the plus side is that the driveway now matches the bathroom walls.

"No, no, Dear Neighbor!! I didn't spill paint all over my driveway! What would make you think that? I was merely ... uh ... testing it! Yeah, that's it! I was testing it for durability and, uh, coverage. I liked how well it worked on my driveway so I decided it would be okay to use on my bathroom walls."

Don't put the gallon of blue paint on the bumper of your car. If you do, don't leave it there while you're talking to a friend and pulling out the rest of the items out of your car. If you ignored the first two points and knocked the gallon of paint off the bumper and on to the driveway where the can opened, don't leave the paint there for any length of time. I guess the plus side is that the driveway now matches the bathroom walls.

"No, no, Dear Neighbor!! I didn't spill paint all over my driveway! What would make you think that? I was merely ... uh ... testing it! Yeah, that's it! I was testing it for durability and, uh, coverage. I liked how well it worked on my driveway so I decided it would be okay to use on my bathroom walls."

When you have this feeling that you should wait till tomorrow to dye your hair, LISTEN. Cleanup is not fun. However, OxiClean is fabulous.

How do I know this, you ask? Because a few months ago I was getting ready to color my hair, despite being tired (red flag 1) and being a butterfingers (red flag 2.) I put the stuff down on my wooden cutting table (red flag 3) and prepared to pour the color into the mixing solution. I reached for the color- and promptly knocked it over. On the wooden cutting table. And the fridge. And the wall. And the floor.

Cue a frantic 1/2 hour of work to repair the mess. Luckily I got it all up, since my place is a furnished let. Heaven bless OxiClean.

I now do the pouring in the sink. Once was more than enough.

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If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,Five things observe with care,To whom you speak,Of whom you speak,And how, and when, and where.Caroline Lake Ingalls

Finally, he agreed to install the fireplace. This involved cutting a hole in the outside wall to install the chimmeny.So, dad goes outside and finds the place where he has to cut open the wall.Dad grabs up the reciprocating saw and starts cutting the wall.

The saw's blade is about a foot long.The wall is...less...than a foot wide.The blade comes through the wall. And....into the back of their brand new living room couch.

By all accounts, the hole is still in the couch. But they now have a nice fireplace.

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"I think her scattergun was only loaded with commas and full-stops, although some of them cuddled together for warmth and produced little baby colons and semi-colons." ~ Margo

I once put a very old feather pillow through the wash. The cover was very old and fell apart in the dryer. The dryer vents to the roof. My boyfriend at the time told me it looked like "A chicken exploded" on the roof.

I once saw a man I worked with watering the plants in the office. Seems pretty normal, right?

Me: Mike, why are you watering those plants.Mike: Because no one else does.Me: Hon, that's because those are fake plants.Mike: No, they aren't.

Other CW: Mike, those are most definitely fake. They've been "alive" for 10 years without anyone watering them or pruning them.

Mike gets upset and storms into the manager's office saying goodness knows what. Next thing we hear is the manager laughing hysterically.

Turns out he'd been watering them for over a year.

You've just reminded me of a story my old pastor would tell on himself.

Several years ago, the church office got a number of new plants, just as the secretary moved to another position. The secretary was usually the person who watered the plants. So, while they searched for a new secretary, our pastor decided that he would be the designated plant-waterer. Now, said pastor has a *notoriously* black thumb. His wife doesn't allow him to touch her houseplants at all. So, he was immensely proud that, when the church found a new secretary several months later, one of the plants was still green. Until the day he went to water the one remaining plant, he nudged it, and a half gallon of water spilled out of the bottom of the potted fake tree.

He had to explain to the new secretary just where all the water on the floor came from, to much laughter. We love him - he was a good sport about the whole thing, and he still has the fake tree too.

So, he was immensely proud that, when the church found a new secretary several months later, one of the plants was still green. Until the day he went to water the one remaining plant, he nudged it, and a half gallon of water spilled out of the bottom of the potted fake tree.

Were any of the other plants still green/alive?

Logged

"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."