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Jealous For Her

36x48 Acrylic on Stretch Canvas

After Jesus appeared to me and asked me to paint prophetically as part of the worship team, it took me a year to step out and do it.

Why did it take so long? Because I was afraid. What was I afraid of? I was afraid of those that would attack me when I started. All my spiritual life, it seemed that EVERY time I "would" step out, I would be attacked. Over and over this happened, so I was completely okay if I NEVER did anything in church again, but when the Lord appeared to me and asked me to, then I could not refuse Him.

So after I had been painting for a while, I went to my home church to paint, but I couldn't, I mean, I could not even "see" to paint. I prayed before I went, and when I got there I waited before the Lord, but nothing came to me. This was VERY unusual for me because I can usually always see something in the spirit. So why did this happen?

A couple of months earlier, I was confronted by my pastor with complaints from several other artists, accusing me of not being a "real" prophetic artist because I was using reference photos to paint from. It hurt me, and caused me to get into fear, because I didn’t want to do anything wrong, that is not my heart, plus they did not come to me, they went behind my back. After my pastor spoke with me and other artists came to my defense, he reassured me that I was fine and their accusations were most likely rooted in jealousy or insecurity. I had the thought, maybe even judgment and disobedience too. In the bible, we can also see that the spirits of religion and jealousy can be critical, always looking for something wrong others are doing, because everything they do is based on works and performance. If they were free, they could celebrate and encourage others.

So after this happened, I had a very hard time painting at what I consider to be my home church, where the accusations had originated, while beforehand, it was my favorite place to paint because I felt most safe there. The day Jesus painted with me, I had asked him if I could use a photo as a reference for a part of the painting we did together, and He said "YES." So I already knew I was okay, but still...having others "come against" you, can cause you to doubt yourself, and render you useless for God.

So even though everything was set up for me to paint at the meeting, I was just worshiping with everyone. crying, asking God to help me see, when a sweet sister, who totally gets me, loves me, and is a lioness in the spirit, came up to me. I knew she was a lioness because I had painted her prophetic portrait. When I saw her, she had a full male lion's mane. She came to me like a lion too. As soon as I saw her, I started weeping because she made me feel safe, I also knew I was about to be set free. She reached out her hands, and prayed for me, I ended up on the floor sobbing...and, as I lay there, I finally saw!!!!

I saw the Lion of the Tribe of Judah and He was not happy. He was ready to war and I felt like He was coming to my rescue. I watched as He marched towards me, his shoulders rolling as He took each step. I was asking Him, “What are you showing me Lord?” Then He turned ever so slightly to his right and over His shoulder was the city of Jerusalem. That was the end of the vision and I had no idea why He showed me this…I only knew it meant something, and He was speaking to me.

In the couple of weeks after first seeing this vision, He has made it clear. He was showing me, Jerusalem is His Favorite, He is jealous for her, so He will defend her, and because she is His favorite, she will also be hated.

Others did the same thing to Jesus, Joseph, David, Able, and that sweet giving "sinful" woman at His feet, pouring out the greatest treasure she possessed. The sad thing is, everyone has the capacity to be one of His favorites, even Saul, Cain, Joseph’s brothers, the others at the dinner, they all did…and He gave them opportunity to as well. You know, even the countries and people that try to hurt Israel, they do too.

So this painting is the truest reproduction of the vision He gave me when I was laying there, weeping on the floor.

I felt led to release it at the Worship Center in Durham while a precious woman ministered in music; she told me later, she and her husband, who used to lead a messianic church in the area, are both citizens of Israel. She also told me about a dream she had where she encountered the Lion of Judah face to face! That was God.

Another thing God did to bless me, was He had one of the most amazing artists I know, Dan Nelson, set up beside me, he wasn’t painting this time, he was playing as part of the worship team. I had no idea he would be there, and I truly consider it an honor to know him and call him my friend. I have seen him go through the fire for years, He gives and gives and gives with a pure heart and gentle humble spirit. As I was painting, and using my reference photos, I realized he could see me, so I shamefully confessed to him, “I use reference photos”, but he just looked at me and said, “Of course!” Like, “duh, everyone does that”…MORE confirmation from a voice I trust, that God was ok with me.

Prayer for this Painting

I paint this painting in honor and as a form of intercession for all those out there that know they are one of God’s favorites and have felt the sting of jealousy's bite. As intercession for Jerusalem and its people! As a tribute to those that loved God in that Bible and were after HIS OWN HEART! And I also paint it for all those that have yet to step into what God has for them because of lies, insecurity, judgment’s trap or jealousy!!! Remember, if you do well…will not your countenance be lifted up?

THERE IS A Roaring LION that is JEALOUS for YOU. HE will come and make WAR for YOU!!! The Battle Belongs to HIM, because HE IS the LION OF JUDAH and HE LOVES YOU, and HE will DEFEND YOU!!!!!!!

“When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.”

“And the LORD had regard for Abel and for his offering; but for Cain and for his offering He had no regard. So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell. Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? “If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.”

For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king."

"They are going to do all these things to you because of the way they treated me, because they don't know the One who sent me. If I hadn't come and told them all this in plain language, it wouldn't be so bad. As it is, they have no excuse. Hate me, hate my Father—it's all the same. If I hadn't done what I have done among them, works no one has ever done, they wouldn't be to blame. But they saw the God-signs and hated anyway, both me and my Father. Interesting—they have verified the truth of their own Scriptures where it is written, 'They hated me for no good reason.'

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