Wednesday, August 20, 2008

It’s a bad sign when Russian tanks show up in your hometown, but it’s even worse when portraits of Putin start popping up.

Is the Russian Army wearing emo pants? Jesus. Can you imagine how depressed Russian emo kids are?

The Russians may be a ruthless, totalitarian, military regime bordering on the iron fist heyday of the Soviet era, but their army still loves them some “Top Gun.”

“Is not tank. Is rare Russian flower. Sniff please.”

Just trying to imagine what it smells like inside a Russian tank made me vomit in my mouth a little.

This Russian woman was pulled out of a slightly larger, identical Russian woman.

“Now, anybody else want to express opinion on weather today?”

Here’s the deal, I’m not saying you have to wear a uniform, but if you’re the President of a nation at war with Russia, and you’re addressing your troops, you shouldn’t wear a purple button down shirt.

I’d be a lot more sympathetic to these Georgian refugees if they didn’t look just like my asshole neighbors who are always yelling at their kids and cats louder than my stereo will even go.

Shit, I hope they settle this matter soon, so these ones don’t move in upstairs.

“He is heavy, and I like his boots. Let’s drop now.”

Any minute now, the Russian army’s going to spring out of the bushes, and push everyone into the grave and burry them alive. Assholes.

Considering how high tensions are at refugee camps, I bet this kid got the shit beaten out of him for jiggling the tent.