Uju Chinny Nwokedi: Finding Diamonds in the Rubble

Experience, they say, is the best teacher. I used to think this statement was overrated, but over time I have actually realised that if you are willing to learn, experience has a lot to teach you. Experience will teach you what you will never learn in any classroom in the world.

This post is not an easy pill to swallow but it is “swalowable”.

I have written an article before, asking employers to send us to a school where we can be taught experience, since every job opening requires a certain amount of years in experience. Nevertheless, I realized that you can’t blame them for asking for experience. This is because, the longer you stay on the job, the better you understand the complexities that come with the terrain.

Likewise, certain experiences form the basis of our belief systems; values and standards, have contributed a great deal to who you are today.

You could ask me what you stand to gain or learn from losing your job, losing a loved one, or going through a tough time, and I will say you learn how not end up in the same position, and what to do whenever push comes to shove. Your experience gives you the road map for when next you stroll in to that city.

Contrary to popular belief, there are some hidden gems in terrible situations. I know that when we go through situations, all we think about is the heart rendering hurt, and pain we experience. We brandish and wield our scars as weapons and awards, but we forget that pain has a purpose.

Think about exams; they are not usually cheap, but they are necessary. As long as you continue to fail promotion exams, you will never enter the next class.

What is the lesson in losing a baby you waited ten years to have?
What is the lesson in losing your husband two weeks after you had your first baby?
What is the lesson in losing your job?
What is the lesson in losing your house and all your possessions to the bank?

Yes, you are hurting, but stop for a moment; think about your current situation, think about mistakes you made or didn’t make. Pick up the pieces of your life, draw new plans and move on. Lots of the best professionals in the world today emerged out of the darkest dungeons you can think of.

For instance, Horatio G. Spafford wrote the popular “ It is well” after he lost his family and business.

I know I haven’t been through half of what most people in the world are going through today, but I’d just love to share this story with you.

Everyone knows I love to write. The fact that I’m awake at 3:53 am writing this article when I should be reading for my MSC exams in the morning is tangible proof.

I could spend the whole night painting pictures with my words and trying to recreate my ideas on a piece of paper.
I would write for you, even if you don’t pay me. That’s how much I enjoy writing. For as long as I can remember, I write about every major event that has happened to, or is happening around me.

A bulk of everything I write is inspired by my real life events. I began collecting my thoughts to make a blog sometime last year.

In a short while, I grew from just blogging to wanting a bigger platform to express my thoughts and lend my shoulder to as many as need it. So I applied to two major magazines in this country. One of them had actually put up a notification of their need for writers and the other didn’t. I just felt that they could do with what I had to offer and so I applied.

None of them got back to me.

Initially, I was sad and it felt like a few inches had been shaved of my self-esteem.
The process of trying to figure out why I didn’t get the calls I desperately hoped for, loaned me the wings with which I now soar.

I defined and redefined my writing style, I began the journey to actually finding my voice, and began to plan my own magazine. The truth is, I am not there yet, but I am working on it and making tremendous progress.

I understand that compared to the pit where you presently are, my situation was and still is nothing.

I agree with you; what do I know about losing a child you waited ten years to have?
What do I know about losing a husband when you haven’t even had your first anniversary?

What do I know about grief, gut wrenching pain, rejection and every other form of emotional pain?

I might not know much about your situation, but I know what it means to feel pain. At the time I was in a pit too. I lost my writing mojo for a long time. It took me great courage to pick up my self and start writing again. In a few years, bloggers will share this story as a part of my journey to where I would be then.

I want you to take from this lesson to heart: every pain has a purpose.

Several people have emerged as professionals in their various fields because of certain dark events in their life.

I understand that all you can see are the pieces of your life, lying all around you in tiny bits, fragments and pieces. Consider them a huge part of the puzzle, fit in all the pieces of the puzzle from those fragments and build up your life again.

Considering that the building process requires energy, dedication, hard work, commitment, joy and patience which you do not really have in you at this moment, it’s not going to be easy.

But, don’t give up yet!

Don’t let the pain define you, find some purpose in the pain.

Find the message in that mess, transcribe, imbibe, absorb it and then, move on.

Experience can only teach you if you are willing to learn.

Sometimes, you can find diamonds of inestimable value in rubbles.

I know you have different opinions and a lot of experience to share, please use the comment box. I would love to hear from you.

About Uju Chinny Nwokedi

Uju is a writer, freelance blogger and content developer. She is passionate about helping you become the best of you.She also loves to write, sing, hang out and meditate. She currently blogs via realitieswithuj.com
Reach out to me on uju@realitieswithuj.com for content and articles. Join me on Facebook Nwokedi Chinny Uju. She blogs HERE.