When last we spoke, I detailed the various snacks I purchased for this big day, and how other events had come together to not only distract me from the cause, but also give me two hours sleep going into this momentous day.

(In case you were wondering, this drink tastes much better if you sing the Dazz Band's "Whip It" while imbibing.)

Nonetheless, at 6:55 on Saturday morning I was up and ready to roll. Wisely I stopped to purchase an energy drink, but I held off on the much-desired Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuit, under the theory that if I had something to look forward to I would me more likely to get there without dying. (That’s a tip for you kids: always give yourself a reason to get somewhere without dying in a fiery crash.)

If I had more access to computers I would have made a special Movie Marathon Mix-CD. That may seem stupid, but I firmly believe the right music on the trip can be the tipping point between a great outing and a crappy one. So much of these things are our mood going in, and if you’re already happy by the time you get there, you’re much more likely to enjoy the day, come what may.

Now, you may think a CD can’t make much difference, but you’re thinking of YOUR CD making skills. Mine rock. Hard core. I made 6 travel CDs on the way down from Canada, some so skillfully done that it would make you weep to hear them. It ain’t just about good songs, but what order they come in. You can’t just have driving anthems. Too many in a row, and you risk getting bored. Too many soft ones, you risk falling asleep. But it’s not even about hard/soft combos. You need to mesh tempo, pitch, eras (very important), even chord structures and political considerations. (For example, you’d never have R Kelly following JoJo; that’d just be a disaster of the highest order.)

Anyway, my skillz are legendary. Perhaps if I get really bored one day I will break down my Travel CDs and let you know how the pros do it. However, since this comes up later in the column, for now let me say that I rocked out to Travel CD #2 and my movie-script CD (which contains all the music I’d like to put in the movie I wrote), and along with the rip it, life was sweet.

The one hitch came when I was actually up in Atlanta, looking for the exit to Stonecrest mall. This led to several cell phone calls, never the most fun thing in Atlanta traffic. I have lately become quite the teetotaler when it comes to cell phone use, as I believe it to be almost as big a distracter (if not bigger) than alcohol, and I would definitely support legislation banning it (even “hands-free”), but that’s another story.

Finally Dominique helped me figure out where to go, and I saw this huge sign from the freeway. The sheer size of Stonecrest (and other mega-malls) that have cropped up lately disturbs me. By the time you add all the other things around it, it’s almost like a city with suburbs. I mean, I like the convenience of so many things all together, but part of me thinks it’s simply a bad idea. Can’t put my finger on why, but if I ever figure it out, I may write a staggeringly great column on the issue.

(It's like sex, but more buttery)

My early leave time (quite unusual for me) meant I had time to get my Chicken Biscuit, and this was quite the reward. Sadly, hobbling into the restaurant was difficult, and I knew that great pain lay before me. (On the plus side, I have learned that a man with a cane = disabled, which at times I have shamefully taken advantage of. I certainly did so here, going straight to the front of the line in a confused manner. Good times.)

***

(Word has it this was the Flintstone's toothpaste)

When I got into the theatre I felt almost giddy. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe it was the sheer implausibility of making it through the day without my back going so far out that it would never return, or maybe it was the slamming hottie who sold me the ticket, but the day seemed ripe with possibilities.

[Note: there was no actual slamming hottie selling tickets, or anywhere else for that matter. If there were hot people working there, they had the day off. I have to say, I was quite disappointed AMC Stonecrest 16 would put their B Team on display. I mean, this is an important day, no? The real reason I wrote that is because Kaida had some sort of training day at work and some hunk sat next to her all day, and she “forgot” to mention it for a week, so I thought I’d slip that in there just to bug her. Luckily she finds my asides longwinded and pointless and usually doesn’t read them, so we should be safe.]

When I got up to the ticket-tearing place (which we used to call “the Box” because you put the torn tickets in this box to match up later, but I have no idea what they call it here), there was this dude waiting to give us our “credentials.” I felt like a journalist or something, which was pretty sweet.

(The blurring is because it was one of those hologramy things. Thanks to Koz for excellent scanning.)

What wasn’t sweet was how long it took to get them. My back was playing the xylophone by now, and I just wanted relief. I considered taking a dive, in order to win sympathy, but narrowly decided against it. Partially making up for the “wait” was the fact that we got a cup and bag for, and this part is really cool:

UNLIMITED POPCORN AND DRINKS!!!!

I confess I have always had a weak spot for anything in the “all you can…” category. I inevitably overeat at buffets, for the simple reason that it seems wrong not to get your money’s worth. (And possibly several other people’s money as well, but I digress.) The ticket cost $30, which averaged out to 6 dollars per show, which wasn’t that great a bargain. However, if you averaged in a large drink and large popcorn each movie, then you’re talkin’ deal. Of course, that meant I’d have to eat and drink all that, but I felt like I was up for the challenge.

Koz finally showed up (28 minutes late, as if that is a shock), and we were ready to go. Nobel sent word that he was coming for movie two, since he’d seen BABEL already, and wouldn’t sit through it again for love or money. He’s like that, so we didn’t pay it any mind. After all, BABEL was the Golden Globe winner. That usually bodes pretty well.

Before the films started the guy came out and told us how the whole thing would work. He said that the Oscars and AMC were putting these on all over North America to boost interest in the Oscars. I fully support this effort, although one wishes it was a little further away from the actual telecast, but oh well. I also wish they had provided us a sheet which the nominations for each movie, so we could be watching to see what we thought of that. (Memo to the Oscar people: set that up for next year.) Lastly, the dude said that between a couple of the movies there would be trivia, where you could win movie memorabilia. This sounded awesome, as I excel in Trivia. (Seriously: I could totally kick your ass.)

We were ready to roll!

[I can't believe I'm 2000 words into this and we still haven't gotten to the movies! Well, I hope you're enjoying. Join us next time, when I promise we'll at least get to the next day. Well, at least to that night.]