Friday, June 20, 2008

I had a very strange dream last night... i dreamt Dalai Lama, but he was much younger and not wearing monk robes, he was wearing a black shirt and jeans... He had just arrived from a journey...

perhaps it is symbolic because the torch is going into Lhasa tomorrow... but despite his strange and youthful appearance he was very much H.H. Dalai Lama. And he removed all doubts about myself and fear from my heart with a simple and swift gesture of his hand...

i don´t have any time these days to write... but i did read this poem at the national radio in Venezuela a few weeks ago:)

Paradise lostBy Birgitta Jonsdottir

At the roof of the worldfrozen bodiessterilized wombsscars of torturedying languagerumbling monasteriesempty sockets on temple walls

In Dharamsalain the sound of the Tibetan culturedetermant to survive the genocide

In every corner of the worldTibetan prayers soundTibetan thinking takes root

Om Om OmThick deep voicesColorful prayer flagsand the longing for PhayulYour spell is peaceand peace and peace againWhile we learn themeaning of compassionthrough tolerance of divine natureSuch is the way of your teachings

Your forced exodus from Phayula great blessing for humanityYour voices silencedby the faceless Chinese regime Yet you speak through menot only through my voicebut through my heart

Oh blessed are you who have suffered so muchYet humanity has failed torecognize your greatest gift:Your monks walking among usplanting ancient seeds within the modern mindour collective salvationwas materialsed

Without it we would have fallendown down downinto the abyss of self destruction

Oh blessed are youfor you have awakenedthe sleeper within

Today your flag flies higher and higherThe Snow Lion risesnot only in Tibetbut in the collective human heartand I pledge to rise with you

As you returninto the heart of Phayulwe will again have a dome of peace in our worldat its rightful place at the roof of the world

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

We are living at interesting times. Seems like all the loose ends are coming together. I don´t think there will be rapture or apocalypse - yet these times are the times of internal rapture, times of internal apocalypse if we remain stuck in matter, stuck in only serving self interests. If we nurture compassion and gratitude we might find that the rapture inside will be quite enjoyable:)

At this moment in time, I believe it is important to simplify our every day life. It is important to walk our talk. Brutal honesty to self is essencial. We have been behaving like parasites on this planet. We forget to honor it - to thank it - to love it. The way we have cut the chord, the threads to everything that is sacred, makes us often feel totally alone in this universe. But it is a big lie. We have never been alone.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

No matter where I go, I meet people who I either know, or who know someone I know. Thus I have come to the simple conclusion that we are all connected.

I had a dream last night of Matisse the great painter and I had a dream whispering "we are all one". I used to be a lucid dreamer, I used to dream dreams of prophecies when I was a kid and in my early teens. And it freaked me out so I started to shut it down. Mostly with lots of drugs when I was a teenager. I sort of lost the connection with the oracle within, we all have this oracle within. But it is sort of scary to know things you can not explain to others with words, and it is almost impossible to explain the dreamtime to the rational mind. But I am making the sleeper awake within the dream and it is like being back home. Somehow this is a much bigger part of who I am than I had chosen to remember. I stop using drugs a long long time ago, yet those dreams, those connections with the intuitive side is like a trip into the known unknown. It is hard to explain... but I feel it is important to strengthen the sense of oneness - compassion - to let go of the self centred elements and serve my lives purpose. Who is and has been for a long time to make sure our mother this earth can smile from within again...

That is the lesson I learned while participating in an important ritual with the holy Mamos/Mamas from Columbia. And this is my quest. And I will never be fully happy until you all are fully happy... so make my day... make this a happy day for you:)

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Been reading interesting books explaining the Mayan calender. It is not all about the day after no future> aka doomsday - everyday can either be our personal hell or heaven - The Mayan calender raises some serious questions about the concept of time and clocks. Who invented the routine most people in the world follow? It is rather inhuman - we all experience time in a different manner, based on our emotions. My happy hour passes a lot quicker than my hour in misery. Most people are waiting for the happy hour - longing for happier times - and non of it is real.

I refuse to lead my life by someone else's concept of time. I like the concept of time in Venezuela. Clocks are only guidelines - nothing to take all too seriously...

The Mayan calender is human, it is based on using each moment to each premium... based on ancient understanding of how we are a part of the streams and currents in space not only time.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Today, like so many other days, wind howls on my island of extrems. We are an indoor culture, our homes are nests, our plants thrive indoors not outdoors.

I am on edge these days, sometimes I am not sure if I belong to this human race. Sometimes I think I am truly a visitor, an alien on this planet, puzzled by the acts of horror and greed this human race is doing every day. Is that all a part of me? Could I if put in the same circumstances commit such deeds? I don´t know, I don´t think so, but honestly, who am I to say. Would I kill, torture, rape others if I was living in the insanity of fear? Perhaps, perhaps. Could I choose to do so now? NO, I would rather die, death is not the source of my fear, the source of my fear is an undercurrent of collective sadness. Sadness based on not being able to do more to help restore sanity on this planet. The people living on this planet are basically insane, they are living in the dream of hell, described so simply and plainly in the Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz.

I sometimes feel like, when i look around me that I am witnessing a tragicomic soap opera, the drama all around me, usually based on illusion or the result of the fearful running away from fear by creating more fear. How absurd is that. I am working on understanding how not to participate in this, and I admit that sometimes I am just as crazy as the rest of us. I allow fear to run through me, guilt, anger, envy, despite the fact that I know how silly and indeed pathetic it is, when one knows about these pitfalls.

I want to understand what drives people further into the dream of hell. In all religions the description of hell resembles our own world too much for not noting it. My dream might be a bit crazy, but I dream we all wake up to the fact that it is OK to be happy and that all humans could would live with joy, gratitude and compassion as the element that drives us to act.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

I am raised up where the earth was shaking and rumbling in Iceland. My grandmother just moved to the city from the village what was hit the hardest by the earthquakes and she was eager to go there to see if the house she built with her own hands with my grandfather was still standing. So we went on a journey to Hveragerdi in glorious weather with intentions to explore the past and found something precious on our journey.

My grandmother is one of those unforgettable persons. The story of her life : film material. And through my quest of talking with people i have figured out that everyone is like this: full of surprises and testament of how amazing the human being can be - however most people dare not show this to others. They hide behind fear of rejection - fear of being labelled foolz or even crazy. My grandmother has the Shaman elements in her more than most people i have met. She knows how to talk to birds and plants and she is truly in her element when she is in nature. Yet she is now cut away from the rest of the family in old peoples home and somehow it just doesn´t feel right to me.

Every time she is telling stories from her past - i see this woman that was always ready to take her own path, despite the attacks she was under for doing so. And her own ways were more often than not - paths to help the children in her village - and they indeed still love this person - who trusted them and saw them as they where. But the adults hated her because they didn´t understand her motives. And thus if they could have they would have stoned her. So she has mixed emotions about this village - the birds answering her call when we arrived to the little house she used to spend her last few years in at the old people home in the village, me carrying her rocks to the car and she beaming with joy that someone wants to keep them for her.

We looked inside the windows of the little house and it was empty. The only thing inside was the fridge and it had almost fallen out of its socket in the earthquake. The earth was still rumbling and moving under our feet. I didn´t feel it much. Raised up in this village means that the moving earth is as natural as it is not to see lighting on the island. We went to the house she and granddad built from one room to a big and beautiful house. The people who own it have done wonders for it and it looked from the outside as solid as in my youth. We knocked on the door and out came the owners. One of them a close relative, my grandmother raised his sister for 3 years when they were young. So the house is the hands of someone who really cares for granny:) It was hard to tell that everything had fallen two days earlier from shelves and walls. Broken glass in box in the hallway and photos of it for the insurance company the only tell tale - a few cracks in the walls and the shaking in the voice of the women of the house as she told the tale of how it was to wake up to the violent shake of 6.3 quake - the noise from the earth - like thunders below.

I walked through the house that had so many memories within its shape - the garden - the trees - and it was a beautiful moment to be there with granny. She had not been there since they moved and she was at peace - joy flowing from her eyes.

The day was filled with moments like this and indeed one of these unforgettable days. I am deeply grateful for being alive at times like this.