The Story of
the CISC King

and Appendix H

by Robert Collins

In the beginning there was the CISC King and a pile of sand.
The pile of sand was formless and empty. And the CISC King
hovered over the pile of sand and saw that it was good. The CISC
King saw that it was good, and thus ended the first day.

And the CISC King said "Let there be a huge expanse between
our kingdom and the kingdoms of our competitors." So the
CISC King created the expanse and raised itself above all other
kingdoms. His kingdom was to be the only kingdom, and all others
would be made into martyrs. The CISC King saw that this was good,
and thus ended the second day.

And the CISC King said "Let me separate the pile of sand
into transistors." And it was so that the CISC King
separated the pile of sand into transistors. The CISC King said
"Let the pile of sand produce offspring and bear fruit unto
the land." So the pile of sand began to produce offspring
and thus was born many generations of this pile of sand. The CISC
King saw that this was good, and thus ended the third day.

And the CISC King said "Let us separate the different piles
of sand by generations, and categorize them as numbers." And
the CISC King began to separate the piles of sand by generation,
calling all newer generations by higher numbers, and all lower
generations by lower numbers. The CISC King found that he could
not do this work alone, and he asked the other kingdoms if they
could help separate the piles of sand by generation. Like usual,
the CISC King was pleased with his work, and thus ended the
fourth day.

And the CISC King saw that letting other kingdoms help separate
the piles of sand might threaten his future kingdom. So the CISC
King said "Let us withhold information from the other
kingdoms so they can no longer help separate the piles of sand
into future generations." Then the CISC King went to war
with the other kingdoms to prevent them from separating the piles
of sand into future generations. Thus ended the fifth day (the
CISC King was happier with himself than at any other time).

While the war was raging between the kingdoms, the CISC King said
to himself, "I shall create even mightier and more powerful
things out of this pile of sand. It shall contain one-and-many
zeros of transistors and shall be made to do many wonderful
things. I shall call it Pentagram and it shall be formed in my
likeness." So the CISC King said to his subjects, "Go
and create me a book, and we shall call it a Design
Specification." The CISC King created the book, and
distributed it to those calling themselves his trusted and loyal
court jesters. Those who had been given the book saw that it was
good, and they were pleased.

They said to the CISC King "it is good that you give us this
book. It will make our lives more productive." Shortly
thereafter, the CISC King gave these subjects a newer book which
he called "revision two." But it wasn't until revision
three that his trusted subjects were pleased with the book's
contents. They said to the CISC King "it is good that you
gave us this information. In the past, you withheld this from us,
so we are pleased with your new book." The CISC King said
"yea, this is a wonderful day, I am pleased with
myself." Thus ended the sixth day.

Now most kingdoms take the seventh day to rest, but not the CISC
King's kingdom. All of his subjects and advisors always work on
the seventh day. So on the seventh day, the serpent came to the
CISC King masquerading as one of his trusted lawyers, and said
"you shall not give your subjects as much information as is
contained in revision three. They could use it, and become as
powerful as we are." Because the CISC King was unholy by
working on the seventh day, he believed the serpent. And the CISC
King decided to take back all of revision three, and created two
new books: revision four, and Appendix H. Revision four was weak
and narrow minded and would be distributed to all of the king's
subjects. Appendix H was broad and powerful but required its
recipients to worship the CISC King for fifteen years. Some of
the kings subjects rebelled and refused to worship the CISC King.
Many bent over in worship and remain there to this day. Others
rebelled, but bent over in worship, as their livelihood depended
upon the CISC King.

The CISC King's workers did a poor job creating Appendix H from
revision three. They accidentally forgot to remove scores of
references to the forbidden knowledge of the pile of sand. Many
of the CISC King's subjects scoffed at his vain attempt to hide
information. Others justified the CISC King's actions and
remained bent over in worship. When the Pentagram was finished,
the CISC King saw that it was created in his likeness, and he was
pleased.

As word spread of the CISC King's actions, his subjects were
disturbed that they couldn't learn of all of the Pentagram's
behavior. The CISC King said "I will not withhold the
information from those who need it. I only require them to bend
over in worship for fifteen years." As complaints of the
CISC King's actions began to spread, the CISC King said "I
will not withhold the information from those who need it."
And the CISC King told his subjects that compiler writers, and
BIOS programmers were the only people who needed it. Many people
screamed at the CISC King, and said "I want to make my
programs run faster, give me the information." The CISC King
said "No, you are not a compiler writer or BIOS programmer,
you don't need it." Now it was obvious that the CISC King
was under the influence of the serpent and his spell. But the
CISC King couldn't break the spell of the serpent, as he was too
powerful.

Now, the CISC King wasn't telling the truth about whom he gave
Appendix H. The CISC King said BIOS programmers would never be
withheld from receiving the Appendix H. But one BIOS programmer
tried many times to get the CISC King to give him Appendix H, but
the CISC King refused. At first, the CISC King agreed, but then
the serpent spoke to the CISC King, and forced the CISC King to
go back on his word. None of the CISC King's other subjects knew
the CISC King was lying about Appendix H, because the CISC King
was powerful and could cover up his lies. If the other subjects
had known about the CISC King's lies, they could have organized
themselves, and brought war against the CISC King for
anti-competitive practices. But the CISC King was too powerful,
and with the aid of the serpent, could promote any false story;
and it would become known as the truth.

Then one day, in the eastern city of Bar-Chemnitz, a savior was
born. The savior said he was a Christian, and would wage a war
against the CISC King and his serpent for hiding Appendix H. The
savior began to write and tell all of the King's subjects about
Appendix H. And the CISC King fought back. The CISC King brought
the serpent to the town square where the savior was parading his
knowledge. The serpent told the people in the square if they
would follow the CISC King, he would give them knowledge about
new generations of piles of sand before any of the other people
in the surrounding towns. All the townspeople had to do, was to
prohibit the Savior from coming into the town square to tell all
of the people of his great knowledge. The people in this town
listened to the serpent, and agreed that what he said was good.
So the people followed the CISC King, and rejected the Savior.

So the savior went to another city that had much greater wealth
than Bar-Chemnitz. The new city was known world-wide and could
influence as many people as the CISC King. The new city was known
as "Internet." The savior began to tell his story to
the people of Internet; and the people listened. He began to tell
them of his knowledge and all that the CISC King was hiding in
Appendix H. The CISC King grew furious, but realized that the
people of Internet were a powerful people. The CISC King
consulted with his serpent. The serpent told him to release all
of the information in Appendix H, that the savior had already
disclosed. The serpent told the CISC King that his subjects were
dumb, and wouldn't realize that he was reacting to the Savior's
message. The serpent told the CISC King that he could still keep
his 4M pages and VME a secret, as all of the king's subjects were
too dumb to figure them out.

But many of the CISC King's subjects began to follow the Savior.
They had grown tired and weary of the CISC King's lies and
believed that this was the Savior who was foretold in the
beginning. Some who had been bent over in worship realized they
could break loose from the CISC King and follow the Savior.

The Savior learned about many people who were just like him, and
had great knowledge of Appendix H. The Savior choose these people
as his disciples, and they followed him to Internet. The Savior's
disciples erected distribution sites in Internet, and linked
themselves like a spider's web. One such site dedicated itself to
disclosing secrets of the CISC King, and could be found at the
corner of http://www.x86.org and
ftp://ftp.x86.org. The CISC King
sent his spies to watch these distribution sites and report to
him all of their actions. But the disciples were undaunted by the
evil actions of the CISC King.

The disciples started investigating Appendix H to see how much
information the CISC King was still hiding. One disciple
concentrated on 4M pages, and the another disciple on VME. The
disciple investigating 4M pages discovered that it was completely
documented in another one of the CISC King's books. This book
told the story about an unrelated pile of sand which was named by
a completely different set of numbers. The people who played with
this pile of sand didn't need to bend over in worship for fifteen
years to be told the secrets of 4M pages. The CISC King gave the
information freely to these people. Then this disciple wondered
why the CISC King would require some subjects to bend over in
worship for fifteen years to be told of 4M pages, when the people
who played in a different pile of sand could read about it
freely. Then this disciple realized that the CISC King was
getting bad advice from the serpent. But the King's subjects were
pretty dumb, and didn't know where to look to learn of 4M pages
without bending over for the CISC King.

The other disciple who was investigating VME made remarkable
progress. He was under tremendous pressure. The CISC King was
threatening to tell everybody about 4M pages and VME when he
spawned a new generation from his piles of sand. But the
disciples wanted to tell the King's subjects about these secrets
before the King did. So they told the people of Internet that
they were going to disclose all of the secrets of Appendix H as a
war trophy, demonstrating their defeat of the CISC King. The
people of Internet were thankful to the Savior and his disciples.
So on a specified date at a specified time, the Savior and his
disciples disclosed all of the secrets of Appendix H. Good had
triumphed over evil - the weak over the strong. But the CISC King
didn't learn, and continued to be influenced by the serpent, all
the days of his life. Eventually the CISC King died, and was laid
to rest whence he came, in a large pile of sand.