Big game today. You ready? Or do you even give a shit? I used to. Now I care about things like, is my dog going to live a few more weeks, or, do I need to give my sister money for her insurance this month. I used to be that nutzo fan that would actually cry after a loss. I grew up with a football crazed dad who used to quiz me on player stats (that was our "bonding" time). I used to be a huge 9ers fan.

One of my favorite memories is of when my dad took me to see the 49ers play the Redskins at RFK (that's what the stadium was called then. I don't know which shithole corporation sponsors the stadium/field these days). Our seats were in the middle of the Hogettes and I talked 9 year old shit to all of those men. They thought it was cute, but, I was really ready to throw down with any of those men. I was insanely aggressive at such a young age. A fantastic characteristic that I picked up from my dad. Anyway, the 49ers won and I talked so much shit to anyone/everyone in Redskins attire. So darling!! Daddy's little girl. According to my dad, I was a 49ers fan because, "Joe Montana has pretty eyes". It's total bullshit that I ever said anything like that at 9 years old. I was a raging feminist and could care less what a dude's eyes looked like.

So, today is the day that we care about the NFL. Today we forgive the players for all of the rapes, shootings and general crimes they have committed /are committing. Today we care if Ray Lewis will cry. Today we will wonder if Kurt Warner will thank Jesus (I know that he is not playing. But, he just does love him some Jesus. Remember that weird, "Thaaaaaaank you, Jeeeeeeesus!!!!" he screamed after winning the Super Bowl with the Rams. It was looney tunes). Today we will wait in anticipation of the half time show. Will Destiny's Child get back together? Will Beyone lip sync and show her titties? Today we care. Today's the day of all days. An epic day. A day that starts at 7am and ends on Monday. A day where grown men wear jerseys with other grown men's names on them (no homo). A day that is the biggest day of domestic assault arrests. Today is the day that we stand together as proud Americans. Fuck you, the rest of the world! If you ain't 'Merican, you ain't nuthin!!!

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I'm still in mourning since last week's Downton. I have to find more hyperdontia photos. I, too, am a former rabid fan of the football. Now, I just want the nachos with 7 layer dip and Downton. ~Samantha

Amy, I am grateful for the word "arrests" because that means women actually call the cops now, and the cops actually recognize the criminal behavior. Maybe the cop has to say 'no homo' to himself when slapping the cuffs on his football watching, wife-beating bro, but they do slap the cuffs on. I think it took some deaths first, but yeah, grateful. Happy Sunday.