The Mary In Your Tree: Solving Brick Walls By Reaching Out

Genealogists are sometimes thought of as loners. The image of the researcher, up to his elbows in notes in a dim room of the library with his nose buried in a microfilm reader for hours on end is a familiar one. We tend to be an independent group, capable of singular laser-focus, burning the midnight oil scouring books, websites, databases, microfilm, and photographs for those tiny clues that we hope will solve everything. Admittedly, this can be a lonely pursuit, and some people prefer it that way; but it’s important to remember that as we labor to fulfill the ideal of reasonably exhaustive research, we can do ourselves a disservice if we try to do it all alone.

My great-great-grandmother is the one who taught me this lesson. She had died quite young at only 23 years of age, and for a long time I knew very little about her. Born about 1850 in Adams County, Indiana, the 1870 U.S. Census on which she appeared married to my great-great-grandfather, William Kramer, referred to her as Mary. Her marriage record agreed, adding a maiden name – Kleinschmidt. They had been married since 1867, when she was only 17, and he 21.

I subsequently learned that she had died on 26 September 1873 of pyaemia (a form of septicemia sometimes referred to historically as “childbed fever”), tragically within weeks of giving birth to Ida, her third daughter and my great-grandmother. It was particularly heart-wrenching to find the funeral home record of William purchasing a coffin for his young wife two days after her death, with three tiny girls at home mourning their mother.

All of my usual efforts at tracking Mary down prior to her marriage came to naught. Despite her unusual surname and lifelong residence in the Fort Wayne region of Indiana, she did not fit within any of the families I encountered. I tried different iterations of her given name. I used wildcard searches and every possible variation of the Kleinschmidt surname I could come up with. In addition to the censuses, I scoured newspapers, cemetery databases, books, and even online message boards for any scrap of evidence that might clue me in to her origins. I diligently researched every single family in every neighboring county with that surname, tracing each of their children. I was rebuffed at every turn.

The only real shred of evidence I found was a baby named Mary “Clinsmith” on the 1850 U.S. Census in the right county. She was living with two middle-aged Clinsmith women, German immigrants named Wilhelmina and Sophia. These two ladies and the infant were boarding with a family called the Van Berns, and neither appeared to be married. Certainly there were no Kleinschmidt males in the home. As I tracked them further, the frustration grew. No Mary (or any Kleinschmidt child) appeared on any of the following censuses, though Sophia and Wilhelmina continued living with the same Van Bern family. Perhaps I had found Mary as a child – but what relation was she to these women? Who was her father? Why didn’t she appear on the 1860 census? So many more questions had been raised than answered.

The Kleinschmidt women on the 1850 U.S. Census.

Knowing that many German-Americans (including my other known ancestors) had been Lutherans, I was next determined to find record of Mary’s baptism, in hopes that it would list her parents. These records, however, were not readily available. The Family History Library had microfilmed records for only one of the nine Lutheran churches in Adams County, and Mary wasn’t mentioned in them.

It was at this point that I was forced to reach out – and this made all the difference. On one Friday evening, I spent an hour or so dashing off emails to each and every Lutheran congregation still in existence in that part of the state, requesting that they search their historic collections for my ancestor. I finally made contact with the very helpful church archivist of Zion Friedheim Lutheran Church in the small town of Decatur, Indiana. He kindly provided me not only the information I sought, but a scan of the old German record as well so that I could know for myself.

Mary’s full name turned out to be Maria Dorothea Elise Kleinschmidt. Born 6 May 1850, she was the illegitimate daughter of Wilhelmina Kleinschmidt and a man named Paul “Schmith”! This explained her relationship to the single women of the 1850 census – Wilhelmina was her mother, and Sophia her aunt. Additionally, one of the sponsors who witnessed the christening was Mary’s other aunt, Henrietta Von Behren (Van Bern) – the woman in whose home Wilhelmina and Sophia had been living for decades! They were not some random boarders, but sisters.

1850 German baptismal record for Maria Dorothea Elise Kleinschmidt, courtesy of Zion Friedheim Lutheran Church (Adams County, Indiana).

From here, I was able finally to trace the Kleinschmidt line back to the Prussian province of Westphalia and identify six more siblings for Wilhelmina, Sophia, and Henrietta. In the end, Wilhelmina never married, and my ancestor remained her only child. Mary’s biological father had been married to another woman at the time, and went on to have several children with his legal wife. Whether Mary ever had any contact with her father or half-siblings is something I may never know.

Then again, I know so much now about Mary Kleinschmidt Kramer that I did not know – could not have known – without reaching out to someone else. If I had never sent those emails, I would almost certainly still be stuck behind my brick wall.

The moral of Mary’s story: never be afraid to email, call, or write a letter. You never know what records are hidden, un-advertised and relatively unknown, but contain a wealth of information not found anywhere else. Whether it’s a tiny church, a county courthouse, or a distant cousin rumored to be in possession of that family Bible – reach out! Remember to be courteous and, when appropriate, to compensate others for their efforts on your behalf. You never know what you’ll find.

Do you have a Mary in your tree? That one ancestor who has had you stumped for years? If you’d like a set of fresh eyes, or access to sources you may not have, consider hiring Legacy Tree Genealogists and allow us to put the lessons we’ve learned as professionals to work for you. Contact us and tell us your goals.

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Katy - Legacy Tree Genealogists Project Manager

Earning a bachelor's degree in Family History & Genealogy, along with a natural love of writing, prepared Katy to research and edit with enthusiasm. She loves history, solving mysteries, and helping others discover their heritage. Her expertise is primarily in United States genealogy but she loves exploring family history worldwide and particularly enjoys the variety that being a project manager brings.

I also have Lutheran ancestors in Pennsylvania, Lycoming County. How does one go about finding the existing Lutheran congregations? I am looking for marriage records that have not been indexed and not available on Ancestry or Family Search.

Hi Beatrice! That’s a great question, and one that unfortunately doesn’t always have an easy answer. It was a bit of a time-consuming endeavor, as I Google-searched for all the Lutheran churches in Adams County, Indiana and made a list. I then checked out all of their websites to ascertain whether they were in existence in the time period I needed (1850), and from there sent an email to archivist or secretary asking about their collections.

Overall, it’s easier if you already know which particular church your ancestor attended. In this instance, I did not, and I know that that is the case for many researchers. Just keep in mind that while it may not always be quick, it is worthwhile! Best of luck.

Sweet article about the personal aspects of genealogical research. Your story is a great example of perseverance and creativity in research, and it is also a story of the miracles that result from that effort. Finding a tide-turning record far away from online databases is nothing short of a miracle.

I have tried without success to trace my paternal grandmother’s school which she started in the Balsall Heath area of Birmingham England. She was born in 1873 and died from influenza in 1909 aged 36. Her name was Emily Penzer nee Green. I would dearly love to know about her. She was married to William Penzer a draper’s journeyman who went on to marry three more times! Her children were Doris, Henry Hubert, Ida, Daisy, who died young, and possibly others. I never met her or have any photographs of her. Please help me if you can; I would be so grateful. Thank you.

I always enjoy to read how someone solved a mystery in genealogy. But there is another reason why I want to write you. I got alerted when I read the surname of the sponsoring aunt of Mary. “Von Behren” is not a very common name in Germany, but there is a former handball player, born near Minden (a bit north of Bielefeld) in East-Westphalia whose name is Frank von Behren. I don’t know anything about his ancestry, but I think it’s an interesting coincidence. And seeing your family is also from Westphalia there MIGHT be a connection.

Jelena,
Thanks for your fascinating comment! I would not doubt that the two families are connected. The branch of the Von Behrens connected to my family are from the area around Petershagen, only about 7 miles northeast of Minden. Maybe they share a common ancestor many generations back. It would be an interesting thing to look into!