Sunday, August 26, 2007

So often when people talk about wannabe rapists spiking drinks, we think about bars and booze and careless women taking "obvious" risks, but Harry William Barkas, 45, of Melbourne, Australia is accused of spiking women's hot chocolate with sedatives. And not just once or twice.

He has been charged with 51 offenses against 24 different victims from 1991 to 2004. Abduction, rape and assault.

The police believe there are more victims and have asked that his picture not be shown so that if more women come forward that their cases won't be lost due to arguments that the suspect identification process is hopelessly tainted.

And, while I don’t ever condone forcible rape (and by forcible rape I mean being forced to perform sexual acts against a person’s will), I do think it’s quite obvious that if a person engages in dangerous behavior, they are much more likely to be a victim of a crime than someone who acts with a little more forethought.

This quote comes from a post about modesty, but modesty as rape prevention is like wearing a T-shirt that says, "Rape Her ---> She's Asking For It."

Notice who gets the lecture on acting with forethought? I'll give you a hint. It's not the rapists. In fact her opposition to rape has to be quantified and it excludes rapists who have found a way to rape without stereotypical force.

You want to dress modestly, hey, go for it. I do most of the time. You want more modest clothing to choose from for girls and woman, great. You don't want girls' and women's bodies used as bait by the marketers and corporations, great.

You want to blame victims for being raped. Not great.

In this fantasy world of modesty as rape prevention you are at no risk of being raped by those at your church -- at least as long as you keep yourself covered. In this fantasy world most rapists are nothing more than Pavlov's rapists who are controlled immodest dress or immodest behavior.

In other words, if you act like a slut, expect to be treated as one.

Translation: If you act like a slut, expect to be raped. Karma, man, don't you love it?

Children who are being trafficked as sex slaves, even if they are described as prostitutes, are at the most (100%) risk of being a victim of a crime and are forced to act like a slut, but nobody who understands the reality of this situation talks about their need to act with forethought or assumes they got exactly what they deserved.

Too often people deal with all but the most violent rapists with a don't ask, don't tell policy. If all those who attack rape victims would have that level of fervent disdain toward all rapists, the number of rapes would plummet.

Instead we get statements that highlight the real danger:

Feminism was a bad idea to begin with, and has evolved into a ravenous monster that eats equal rights for breakfast.

Yeah, men have been robbed of their legal right to commit non-forcible rape and they want it back. Men, or at least many of them, have been robbed of their right to rape and assault their wives and they want it back.

2 Comments:

If leaping to conclusions and putting words in people's mouths were an olympic event, you would definitely go home with the gold.

Where did I ever say the female victim was to blame for her rape? Suggesting that she not dress with her tits and ass hanging out, drink so much she can't make a responsible decision, and/or wander off by herself is not blaming her for anything. It's telling her to use a reasonable amount of caution in her life.

And maybe acting with a little self-respect will earn a woman some respect. Being treated like a slut does not mean being raped. It means being treated with disrespect. Or, to put it in a way I saw on a feminist website, as if she were a "talking life support system for pussy".

I realize that there is no "typical victim" of a rapist. I never said there was. And I never said dressing and behaving more like a lady than a slut will prevent a woman from being raped.

Look at it this way: Say you are standing on a street corner waiting to cross, and the little white silhouette of a walking person lights up. You step out in the street and start to cross, but there's a car that just ran the red light and it hits you and kills you. You were perfectly correct in that you had every right to step into the street at that time, without looking both ways. Unfortunately, you're dead right.

As a fellow rape survivor, I'm going to give you some advice: Seek counseling, get over it, and move on. Or, think of yourself as a victim for the rest of your life, and perceive everything through the filter of your victimhood. Your choice.

Where did I ever say the female victim was to blame for her rape? You didn't say it directly, but you implied it, and you imply it again with this statement: And maybe acting with a little self-respect will earn a woman some respect.

This goes back to the "rape her" way of thinking that assumes all men to be latent rapists. One I reject.

Your pedestrian example shows that you don't accept that rape is a choice made by the rapist and a choice never made by non-rapists. No victim brings rape onto herself no matter how often rapists and others claim otherwise.

All rapists need to be held fully responsible and viewed as criminals no matter who they rape. When rapists aren't held fully accountable, they are being taught who they can rape and under what circumstances.

If you think I am wallowing in victimhood you don't know anything about me. When you say I should move on you mean I should stop standing up against rapists and those who enable rapists -- even without meaning to.

Sorry, I'm anti-rapist and no "helpful" advice is going to change my stance.

About Abyss2hope

Abyss2hope is centered on date rape, but isn't limited to discussing crimes which can be described this way since the causes and attitudes related to date rape are interconnected with domestic violence and other types of sexual violence.

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