Spend My $1.50

So I was driving down the highway this afternoon and I dropped my just opened PBR. As I reached for it, my oafish fingers knocked it under my seat. At this point I'm more pissed off than any of the drivers in the 4 lanes I'm swaying between since beer is spilling under my seat.

Finally, I manage to grab the now 1/2 full can and as luck would have it, a wadded up $1 bill came out with it. As I reached in to my glovebox to find something to soak up the spilled beer, I found two corroded and greenish quarters at the bottom of the box.

So I'm considerably more flush than I was this morning and I need your help spending my newfound wealth.

Buy a Bic and a noteblocks and write poems and songs about life. From the leftover sheets, you can fold a nice hat to put on the ground in front of you as you sing and read your writings in the local mall.
Stop when you've collected $50 and get a crappy guitar. Now the money flows should speed up a bit. You'll soon have a real hat to use, and one on your head for the sun. You'll get thirsty singing, so get some beers. Sign some more, raise more cash, and start sharing beers with fellow musicians. Form a group and conquer the world, on your bikes. Guitars can be made into pretty good camelbaks.

lucky for you, post divey bars in the KC area charge $1.50 for a brand spankin' new PBR! so ride your noble steed (that beatiful retrotec of yours that is ironically painted like a high-class guiness, when you should have thought about a red and blue PBR pattern), get yourself a frosty brew, and cry a lot. crying seems like a good thing to do while drinking a PBR.

Invest 34 cents in a mid cap mutual fund. Invest 51 cents in municipal bonds and keep the rest in cash for liqidity. Wait....another plan....better plan.....buy a scratch off lottery ticket and a couple of day old donuts. Eat one donut and then scratch the lottery ticket. If you win, celebrate by making sweet love to the other donut.....if you lose, drown your sorrows by making sweet love to the other donut.

Buy a Bic and a noteblocks and write poems and songs about life. From the leftover sheets, you can fold a nice hat to put on the ground in front of you as you sing and read your writings in the local mall.

So I was driving down the highway this afternoon and I dropped my just opened PBR. As I reached for it, my oafish fingers knocked it under my seat. At this point I'm more pissed off than any of the drivers in the 4 lanes I'm swaying between since beer is spilling under my seat.

Finally, I manage to grab the now 1/2 full can and as luck would have it, a wadded up $1 bill came out with it. As I reached in to my glovebox to find something to soak up the spilled beer, I found two corroded and greenish quarters at the bottom of the box.

So I'm considerably more flush than I was this morning and I need your help spending my newfound wealth.

Any thoughts?

I'd put it in a fund for your soon to be needed reputable DWI attorney.

$85.26 Over My Budget

Well I blew through my $1.50 a lot quicker than I thought. 150 big ones (pennies, that is) just doesn't seem to go as far these days.

Yesterday, I became the proud owner of a home made kegerator. So I spent $86.76 on a keg o beer putting me a little over budget. That's why I don't have any fancy pictures like Hollywood and I couldn't afford the porn or condoms. Just beer.

But I can still use your help. I stopped collecting stickers several years ago. In fact, I've pretty much given them all away except a Fruita, Over the Edge and one Surly sticker. The fridge is bare white. So I guess I'm in search of Fridge worthy stickers.

Invest 34 cents in a mid cap mutual fund. Invest 51 cents in municipal bonds and keep the rest in cash for liqidity. Wait....another plan....better plan.....buy a scratch off lottery ticket and a couple of day old donuts. Eat one donut and then scratch the lottery ticket. If you win, celebrate by making sweet love to the other donut.....if you lose, drown your sorrows by making sweet love to the other donut.

get a warm jelly-filled donut. but not too warm. if it's cold, microwave it for a few seconds. sweet sweet lovin.

Fridge stickers

Originally Posted by Ken in KC

Well I blew through my $1.50 a lot quicker than I thought. 150 big ones (pennies, that is) just doesn't seem to go as far these days.

Yesterday, I became the proud owner of a home made kegerator. So I spent $86.76 on a keg o beer putting me a little over budget. That's why I don't have any fancy pictures like Hollywood and I couldn't afford the porn or condoms. Just beer.

But I can still use your help. I stopped collecting stickers several years ago. In fact, I've pretty much given them all away except a Fruita, Over the Edge and one Surly sticker. The fridge is bare white. So I guess I'm in search of Fridge worthy stickers.

Ken

I may still have a couple of bumper stickers that might suffice one says:

Well....

New ones are the Nap Dynomite bass one, dancing 10 year anniv. one, hmmm... I'll have to check on others, too, but the bass one is a must have.

I have an FU and an OTE bike decal. I had a bass one but I sort of took that off the chest of some fine young lady at the FFTF (it wasn't you, was it?). The sticker, like me, wasn't in very good condition after the parties, so it went the way of the dinosaurs.