Dad’s childhood advice helps Pembroke Marine serve his country

Saturday

May 26, 2012 at 12:01 AMMay 26, 2012 at 11:43 PM

As a child,Johnathan Martin learned the value of team play while playing hockey from his father, Martin. Today, Johnathan is serving in Afghanistan and his dad’s advice all those years ago plays an important part on how he conducts himself as a squad leader responsible for 14 men.

Gordon Martin

When my son Johnathan deployed for Afghanistan in September 2010, the anxiety his mother and I felt was something we had never experienced before.

There were hundreds of family members at Camp Lejeune the day he and other members of the 1st Battalion, 8th Marines left, and we all seemed to feel the same stress as we said our good-byes.

Somehow, for weeks, I managed not to think about it, but I realized that this may be the last time I may see my son alive. I tried to get the thought out of my mind, but I couldn’t.

As we discussed trivial things, there was an announcement that they would be boarding buses in less than an hour. Suddenly, I felt a strong wave of emotion and the need to have a father-son talk. I feared that if I didn’t, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I asked John if we could go somewhere to talk in private. I needed to express myself without anyone else hearing. We sat under a nearby tree.

I’ve never been short on words, but I struggled to find the right one to describe my feelings, all the while thinking “try to stay calm.”

John was 17 when he told his mother and me that he wanted to serve his country.

My wife got nervous, but I was confident we could talk him out of it. We’d always been able to discuss things and when needed, convince him to see things our way.

I gave him my best sales pitch on why he shouldn’t change his plans for college.

But for the first time, I wasn’t able to persuade him to change his mind.

He volunteered for the Marines immediately after graduating Pembroke High School in 2009 and was off to boot camp 10 weeks later, only two weeks after turning 18.

Now, as we bid each other farewell, my mind was racing.

I finally said, “John, never take unnecessary risks. Your No. 1 objective is to survive and come home to us. Don’t ever volunteer for a suicide mission.”

John started to slowly shake his head and said, “No, Dad. I can’t do that.”

I immediately felt my blood pressure shoot up. I said, “John, what do you mean you can’t do that? All I’m saying is you have to be smart and if you get yourself killed, you won’t be able to fight the next fight.” I was trying to rephrase my point in a way he might better appreciate. But John repeated himself.

“Dad, I could never do that.”

I was upset and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I certainly didn’t want to get into an argument with him, especially with the buses pulling up and the sergeants barking orders. We both knew time was short.

John said, “Dad, let me explain. Do you remember when I joined my first hockey team when I was 6? Do you remember what you said to me? You said, now that I’m a member of a team, I will have to learn the responsibilities that go with being a member of a team. You told me I had to commit myself 100 percent.”

Of course I remembered all that. It was the same message my wife and I had delivered to all three of our kids.

John continued, “Dad do you remember when I was 13? I was playing summer hockey and my friends were going to the beach and I wanted to skip hockey and go with them. Do you remember what you said?”

I knew I was losing this argument and didn’t answer.

“You said I couldn’t let my teammates down and that it wouldn’t be right to go to the beach while the team played short-handed. Dad, the Marine Corps is now my team, and I will do everything I can to be the best team player I can be.

We sat there under the tree. Both of us looking at each other and not a word being said.

Finally, I said, “John, you never listened to me when you were growing up, why are you listening to me now?”

We laughed and after a long hug, I told him how proud I was of the man he had become.

He was only 19 but no longer a kid. He had grown into a man, he was the ultimate team player.

In 2009, four of John’s friends graduated from Pembroke High School and also joined the Marine Corps. Mathew Callahan, Joseph Eldridge, Johnathan Martin and Sam Pomodoro are doing very well and have earned promotions into leadership positions.

In early January, John deployed for his second tour in Afghanistan and is scheduled to come home in August.

He also is doing well and is a squad leader and is responsible for 14 men in his unit.

John and his friends share a bond and a brotherhood that most would not understand. Their mental toughness and moral qualities will serve them well for the rest of their lives.

No one should forget the bravery of the U.S. Armed Forces. Freedom comes with a high price, and we are very fortunate to have men and women ready, willing and able to put their lives on the line for us.

We need to continue to support our troops, and we all should give thanks and show our gratitude to all the sons and daughters for everything they do to secure our freedom.

Gordon Martin lives in Pembroke and is the superintendent of Wellesley Department of Public Works’ Recycling and Disposal Facility. He and his wife, Gerry, have three children: Jennifer, Jessica and Johnathan.

1st Battalion 8th Marines

The 1/8 is an infantry battalion in the U.S. Marine Corps based out of Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune, N.C.