Sunday, August 31, 2008

We're mere hours away from September 1. When the clock strikes midnight, the Leafs will write a $2 milloion ransom check to Bryan McCabe and then, presumably, deal him to the Florida Panthers.

While most Leaf fans are thrilled to see McCabe finally waive his no-trade clause, many have wondered why he chose Florida. After all, this is a guy who wouldn't even discuss a deal in February, and spent most of the summer swearing he wouldn't go anywhere. Why change his mind for the Panthers of all teams?

... two factors make a move to the Panthers appealing. First, Bryan’s in-laws have a winter home in south Florida and are there throughout the bulk of the NHL season. And, second, former Leaf Wade Belak has grown very close to McCabe. In fact, the McCabes and Belaks are tight as families, having lived on the same street in Toronto the past couple of years. Next to Darcy Tucker — now with Colorado — Belak was McCabe’s best friend on the Leafs of last season.

Um...

Are you freaking kidding me?

Nothing about wanting to play for a Stanley Cup contender. Nothing about wanting to go to a team where he could play a more prominent role. Nothing about playing for coaches who could help him make the best of his talents.

No, his top priorities are to be near his in-laws and his best friend.

Is this guy twelve years old?

The longer this off-season drags on, the more we're learning about the players who made up the core leadership group on a Maple Leafs squad that became a league laughingstock over the past three years (whining, pouting and making excuses the whole way).

This was a team with a captain who needs over four months to decide if he even wants to play hockey anymore, and an assistant whose top career priority is being near his mother-in-law and BFF.

Forget making the playoffs. How did these losers ever manage to win a game?

Saturday, August 30, 2008

One thing you can always count on from the Ottawa media is their fair and balanced coverage of any Senators transaction. They're a mighty tough group to please, these guys.

From a story posted today on the Meszaros deal, and attributed to "Sun Media" (i.e. some random hack from the Ottawa newsroom):

While the Senators would have preferred to keep Meszaros, the club wasn't going to meet his demands for more than $4 million US per-season. He immediately signed a six-year, $24 million deal with the Bolts.

This will be a big cap savings for the Senators. Kuba, 31, is scheduled to make $3 million before becoming an unrestricted free agent at the end of the season while Picard will make $800,000 the next two seasons.

OK, let me get out my calculator here. So we have $4 million for Mezaros, and we subtract $3 million for Kuba, and $800,000 for Picard...

Holy crap, that is a big cap savings! They saved enough for 40% of a minimum wage player! Bryan Murray is a freaking genius!

Side note: As has been the case throughout their entire modern history, the Senators make a major trade only because of a player's salary demands. Every trade of any significance the club has ever made (Redden/Berard, Yashin/Chara, Hossa/Heatley, etc) has been because somebody had the nerve to ask for more money than the team wanted to pay.

As long as you're willing to take below-market deals, you can be a Senator for life (hello, Chris Phillips!). And that's especially true at the trade deadline, when the Sens are always a contender and always, every single year, fail to land the type of impact player that everyone knows they need because they insist that "we like our room" and "we're not going to mortgage the future". The approach has probably cost the team a couple of Cups already, and lead to a frustrated Murray backstabbing John Muckler out of a job last summer before going on to pull the exact same choke job at this year's deadline.

So here's my proposal: Some Senator fan needs to convince Bryan Murray that Nick Foligno, Brian Lee, or whoever their scouts are looking at with their 2009 1st rounders, is asking for too much money. Just plant the seed, and hope it finally pays off next February.

In case you missed it in the comments from the previous post, General Borschevsky has cracked the code on Sundin.

We reported that Sundin was doubling back on his previous October/June stance, which made him sound like a liar and a hypocrite. But the General went back to the original quote and found an interesting detail.

There's a loophole:

"I never believed in rental players to start with," Sundin told reporters. "I think if you want to be part of the team that has a chance to win the Stanley Cup or a team that is going far in the playoffs, my opinion has always been that you want to be there from training camp or the start of the season to be part of the group."

Sundin can rejoin the Leafs mid-season as long as there's no "chance to win the Stanley Cup" or any talk of "going far in the playoffs".

Friday, August 29, 2008

Mats Sundin, via his agent, is starting to float the idea that he may follow the Niedermayer plan after all.

From today's Star:

Sundin's agent, J.P. Barry, said that no decision on his client's future is imminent and the long-time Leafs captain might even pull a Scott Niedermayer and wait until the season is underway before announcing his plans. Last season, Niedermayer rejoined the Ducks in December.

"It's possible," Barry told the Vancouver Sun. "It's not something that's preferable to him. Mats has said in the past it's not something he is totally comfortable with, but at the same time you can't say that until you're in that position yourself."

Apparently you may not need to be there from October to June after all.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Thanks to everyone who participated, and congratulations to General Borschevsky, eyebleaf, The Meatriarchy and mf37 for being the first to come up with various correct answers. (If you missed the original post, click here.)

#1 Who scored the goal that gave Gilmour a record-tying sixth assist in one game?

Good old Dave Ellett. Joe Bowen's call was classic (aren't they all?)

#2 In the late stages of game two against the Wings, and well on their way to a 2-0 deficit in the series, the Leafs showed some fight during a mini-brawl that featured Doug Gilmour taking down Bob Probert and Bob Cole's famous call "and oh, we're going to have a donnybrook here". Which Leaf threw the series of sucker punches that started the fight, and who was his (deserving) target?

It was the normally mild-mannered Felix Potvin, who drilled superpest Dino Ciccarelli to touch off the rumble. This was the first indication that Felix wasn't the pussycat we all thought he was. Of course, years later Ron Hextall would confirm this theory the hard way.

#3 After Borschevsky scores the goal to eliminate Detroit, who's the guy going crazy with the water bottle on the bench?

It's then-waterboy and current equipment manager Brian Papineau.

#4 Wendel Clark famously beat Bob Probert in a pair of fights during a December game at the Gardens. Other than the fights, what else was notable about that game for Probert?

It was Probert's first game back in Canada after a lengthy time when he couldn't come north because of his legal troubles. After this game, Probert immediately sent his lawyers back to court to ask that the ban be reinstated.

#5 Who was Pat Burns referring to when he made his infamous "I wouldn't know him if I ran over him with my truck" quip? Bonus question: what was that person's comeback?

Burns was referring to Bill Berg, who had just been claimed off waivers by the Islanders. The story goes that when Berg arrived in Toronto, he was asked what he planned to do first and replied "Probably find out where Pat Burns parking spot is".

#6 What classic Canadian rock song greeted the Maple Leafs before their first home playoff game in three years?

The Boys Are Back in Town, by Thin Lizzy. If the boys want to fight, you better let them.

(Update: This was also a trick question, since apparently Thin Lizzy aren't actually Canadian.)

#7 The day after Wendel Clark beat his face in, Marty McSorely appeared on the cover of the Toronto Star with a massive shiner. According to the headline next to the photo, who was "in the hangar, awaiting orders"?

Who else would be in the hangar but The Bomber?

#8 Which media member was honored with their own novelty rap song? Bonus question: according to the lyrics, "Lackawack, Cheektowaga, all through Buffalo, he's know as the ..." what?

It was play-by-play man Joe Bowen. In addition to referring to him as "the mic commando", the song had a chorus that focused on Bowen's call of a certain scrap.

#9 The Leafs used three different artists as anthem singers during the 1993 playoffs. Two regulars who alternated, and a third artist who made one disastrous appearance. Name all three artists.

I have to admit, I think I originally had this one wrong. I could have sworn that the Barenaked Ladies sang the anthem before Game Six of the Wings series. But I think I'm mixing up my anthems and General Borschevsky is right -- it was actually Pat Burns' favorite country band, the Good Brothers. In any event, they did a horrible meandering version of the anthem that killed the crowd and helped the Leafs get blown out.

The two good singers were Michael Burgess and John McDermott, although I would have also accepted "The guy from Les Mis" and "The Irish guy".

#10 Prior to Leafs/Kings game seven, CBC played an awesome montage of highlights from the series. The montage was set to the theme song from which sports movie?

Confession: I love sports montages. Back in the 80s and early 90s they were everywhere, and I loved it. These days you don't see them as often (although the amateurs on youtube are bringing them back). This one was one of my all-time favorites.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I recently realized that it's late August and I haven't come close to cracking double digits in posts for the month. It's not really my fault -- there's just nothing happening. But I really should write something, because I'm not a Toronto sportswriter so I don't get 14 weeks of vacation every summer.

So I've come up with some trivia, ranging from easy-ish to downright difficult. This is the sort of information that I've packed into my brain over the years, leaving me unable to remember what color my wife's eyes are. I think they might be a kind of a greenish-browny blue. Anyways, in the words of Al Bundy: "I know this, because I don't know anything but this."

Today's topic is the 1992-93 Maple Leafs. Here are the questions, in rough order of difficulty. Post your answers in the comments section, and let's see who knows their stuff.

#1 Who scored the goal that gave Gilmour a record-tying sixth assist in one game?

#2 In the late stages of game two against the Wings, and well on their way to a 2-0 deficit in the series, the Leafs showed some fight during a mini-brawl that featured Doug Gilmour taking down Bob Probert and Bob Cole's famous call "and oh, we're going to have a donnybrook here". Which Leaf threw the series of sucker punches that started the fight, and who was his (deserving) target?

#3 After Borschevsky scores the goal to eliminate Detroit, who's the guy going crazy with the water bottle on the bench?

#4 Wendel Clark famously beat Bob Probert in a pair of fights during a December game at the Gardens. Other than the fights, what else was notable about that game for Probert?

#5 Who was Pat Burns referring to when he made his infamous "I wouldn't know him if I ran over him with my truck" quip? Bonus question: what was that person's comeback?

#6 What classic Canadian rock song greeted the Maple Leafs before their first home playoff game in three years?

#7 The day after Wendel Clark beat his face in, Marty McSorely appeared on the cover of the Toronto Star with a massive shiner. According to the headline next to the photo, who was "in the hangar, awaiting orders"?

#8 Which media member was honored with their own novelty rap song? Bonus question: according to the lyrics, "Lackawack, Cheektowaga, all through Buffalo, he's known as the ..." what?

#9 The Leafs used three different artists as anthem singers during the 1993 playoffs. Two regulars who alternated, and a third artist who made one disastrous appearance. Name all three artists.

#10 Prior to Leafs/Kings game seven, CBC played an awesome montage of highlights from the series. The montage was set to the theme song from which sports movie?

Update: Most answers can be found in the comments below. For the full list, click here.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Here's the bad news: Cliff Fletcher has called your bluff on the no-trade business, and now you're on the verge of heading out of town with your tail between your legs.

The worse news: You're going to the Florida Panthers, where hockey careers go to die.

But there is a bright side. And it's this: You, Bryan McCabe, are about to become an awesome hockey player.

That's right. Right now you may be a bumbling loser who everyone hates, but in mere weeks you'll rise from the ashes, reborn as an NHL superstar.

Yes, as per NHL rules, any player who isn't already a fan favorite (sorry, Wendel and Dougie) who is traded away from the Leafs will instantly become a far better player. That means you, Bryan.

The Canadian media will make sure it happens. After all, those "Bumbling Leafs screw up again!" stories aren't going to write themselves. So as soon as you're traded, you'll have an entire industry cheering your every minor success from now until the end of your career.

Don't believe me? Ask these guys.

Russ Courtnall

The myth: Russ Courtnall was a star, and trading him for John Kordic was one of the worst moves of all time.

The reality: Courtnall was a decent player with great speed, OK hands, generally lousy defensive skills and no grit. Was he a sniper? Not even close -- he never averaged even a point a game, despite playing in the top offensive era of all time. He had one 30-goal season, or half as many as Tom Fergus.

The myth: Larry Murphy was a superstar in Pittsburgh and Detroit, but those dumb Leaf fans couldn't appreciate him and booed him out of town.

The reality: Murphy was great in Pittsburgh and Detroit. But he was just freaking terrible in Toronto. Why? No idea. But Toronto fans were right to boo Murphy.

Put it this way: the Leafs version of Murphy makes Bryan McCabe look like every other version of Murphy.

Vincent Damphousse

The myth: Damphousse had 1,200 career points. He was awesome.

The reality: Damphousse had 1,200 career points. He was pretty good.

Look, there's no arguing with 1,200 points. He did have some decent 90+ point seasons (unlike fellow superstar Courtnall). He also played for 47 years, which inflated his totals just a bit.

But do you ever notice how Damphousse is always mentioned in articles about the superstars the Leafs traded away, but never comes up in those other articles about how the Leafs never draft any star players? I wonder why that is...

Steve Sullivan

The myth: The Leafs thought he was too small to succeed in the NHL, but he went on to have seven straight 60+ seasons after leaving Toronto.

The reality: Hmm... OK, this one is pretty much true. Dammit. Let's just move on.

Kenny Jonsson

The myth: Jonsson was the best young defenceman in Toronto since Borje Salming. Trading him (as part of a package for Wendel Clark and Matthieu Schneider) was a terrible mistake, as he went on to become the star everyone knew he would be.

The reality: Jonsson had several good years with the Islanders. He was a decent all-around player. End of story. Not only wasn't he the next Borje Salming, he was barely the next Uwe Krupp.

Jonsson never played in an all-star game, was often hurt, and was out of the NHL after only ten years after being murdered by Gary Roberts during the 2004 playoffs. A fine career, sure, but nothing close to what you'd expect if you only went by his post-trade press clippings.

(Ironically, the dynamic young defenceman the Leafs gave up in that trade has been out of the NHL for four years, while the scraggly old one the Leafs got, Schneider, is still playing at a high level. For some reason Damien Cox keeps forgetting to mention this.)

And we haven't even got into the younger guys like Tuuka Rask and Brad Boyes. Shut it down, kids, you've already done more than enough! The hall of fame ceremony will be Monday.

So keep your chin up, Bryan. There are better days ahead. Go to Florida, play well enough to stay in the league, try not to score in your own net, and if it's not too much trouble score an occasional goal.

Friday, August 15, 2008

This burning question in the Barilkosphere for the last week or so, other than "is it actually possible to screw up a no-trade scenario any worse than Bryan McCabe did?" has been around the identity of the next Leafs captain. Who should get the honor, assuming Sundin isn't back?

(And don't worry, eyebeleaf -- even I wouldn't suggest we strip Sundin of his 'C' if he re-signs1.)

The Leafs have recently made a habit of bringing their old captains back to the fold: Wendel twice, and Dougie once. It says here that they should do it again.

They should award this year's captaincy to the same player who had it from 1986-89.

Nobody.

Back then, the Leafs didn't have any especially good candidates for the captain's job. The team wasn't very good, their few decent players were too young to carry a leadership role, and they didn't have much in the way of veteran presence. Stop me if any of this sounds familiar.

Faced with that scenario, and for perhaps the only time during the Ballard years, the Leafs did the right thing. They played without a captain for three years.

They should do it again. The current Leafs roster doesn't have a single player who deserves to wear the "C". And since there's no rule that says you need to have a captain, and no real disadvantage to going without one, the Leafs should declare the captaincy vacant for at least one season.

Let's look at the candidates on the current roster:

An established veteran like Tomas Kaberle, Pavel Kubina or Nik Antropov - Kaberle is a decent option, and would be my choice if I had to choose somebody. He's the longest serving Leaf, he's probably the best player on the team, and he's kept his nose clean. But from all accounts he's not much of a dressing room presence, preferring to stand aside and let others take on leadership duties. Could he grow into a more vocal leadership role? Sure. And if he does, he should be the next captain -- sometime in the next few years.

Kubina has been linked to the captaincy this week, and Antropov has been mentioned in various spots. But Antropov has essentially had one good season as a Leaf, and Kubina has arguably had one good month. And either one could become trade bait at this year's deadline, if not sooner. A captain should be somebody a team is committed to in the long term. I'm not sure either of these guys are in that category.

Besides, it's been well-established that the Leafs dressing room became a country club over the past few years. Players weren't held accountable, the same lazy errors happened over and over again, and nobody ever seemed all that bothered by any of it. Do any of the veterans who were part of last year's leadership core really deserve another shot so soon after that disaster?

A veteran newcomer like Jamal Mayers. No way. You don't hand your captaincy over to a new guy unless they're among the great leaders in the game. And with apologies to Mayers, who seems like a solid guy on and off the ice, he's not exactly Mark Messier.

One of the kids, like Alex Steen or Matt Stajan - There's certainly plenty of precedent for handing a captaincy over to a youngster. But that's an honor typically reserved for franchise players like Yzerman or Crosby who the team is looking to build around for the next decade. There's nobody on the Leafs roster who even comes close to that level of talent or potential.

Stajan and Steen may have some leadership skills, and either could be a captain in the league someday. But again, why rush it, especially in a pressure-packed market like Toronto? After all, the last time the Leafs let an untested youngster take over an important role, it didn't work out so well.

All of the above: rotate the captaincy - This idea seems to be picking up steam lately, including being raised as a possibility by Fletcher. It may be the worst option of all.

I don't want to get all traditional on you, but we're talking about the Toronto Maple Leafs here, not the Minnesota Wild. The captaincy of an Original Six team, even one wallowing in last place, should mean something. The Leafs have had six captains in the past 30 years. Do they really want to add six more in one season?

So leave the "C" on the sidelines for 2008-09. Use four alternate captains. See who steps up to fill the leadership void, and what kind of impact they can have. If somebody emerges as the team's undisputed leader, then and only then do you hand them the captaincy.

If it happens in time for next season, great. If not, better to go without for a few years than to force the role onto somebody who doesn't deserve it.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

As the Mats Sundin saga drags on, it's getting harder and harder to imagine a happy ending. Every one of Sundin's options is looking worse by the day.

If he signs in Vancouver, he'll look like he took a big paycheque over a chance to win. If he goes to Montreal, his legacy in Toronto will be damaged if not destroyed. If he comes back to the Leafs, he'll be joining a rebuilding team that doesn't even seem to be sure it wants him. If he retires, he'll have lead several teams on all summer and then quit because he couldn't motivate himself to come back and chase a championship.

None of those scenarios may be fair, and much of the negativity will fade over time as it always does. But right now, virtually anything Sundin decides will be met with significant derision. That's his fault. He's simply let this drag on too long for it to work any other way.

There's one other option, and its one that could be a perfect fit. It's pretty clear that the best choice for Sundin right now is to make no choice at all. Sundin should follow the Neidermayer Plan -- take some time off, rest up, and then consider a mid-season return.

The move would give Sundin extra time to consider his future. When (and if) he did decide to return, he'd be 100% healthy and rested. He'd be able to consult the standings to ensure he was headed to a legitimate contender, and might even have more suitors since his cap hit would be lower. Sure, it would cost him a half season's salary. But it sure seems like money isn't Sundin's focus these days.

All things considered, its obvious that Sundin should follow in the footsteps of Neidermayer, Selanne and Forsberg and take an extended vacation.

There's one problem: he can't. Not without seeming like an enormous hypocrite.

Remember that at the 2008 deadline, Sundin was very clear on this issue:

"I have never believed in the concept of a rental player. It is my belief that winning the Stanley Cup is the greatest thing you can achieve in hockey but for me, in order to appreciate it you have to have been part of the entire journey and that means October through June." - Mats Sundin, February 2008

It was an unusual reason, to say the least. Many found his stance refreshing in an era where star players regularly insist on being parachuted onto the roster of ready-made contenders in order to coattail-ride their way to a ring.

I didn't see it that way, and I mocked him for it at the time. In hindsight, I still don't buy it. The "October through June" logic sounds like an afterthought, the kind of thing a good PR person would come up with to cover up for an athlete who was having a good sulk.

But whether he meant it or not, Sundin's statement has painted him into a corner. And six months later, it may mean that the only good option he had left is off the table.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

First of all, thanks to all Down Goes Brown readers for making July our best month ever. We cleared 5,000 visits for the first time -- a few of which weren't even disappointed porn surfers following a link from the NY Times. Special thanks to Pension Plan Puppets and Puck Daddy, who accounted for a big chunk of that traffic with their generous linking.

I'd like to say a special hello to my lone visitor from Qatar, which I'd previously thought was a fictional country invented by the makes of FIFA '96, as well as the person who found the blog by running a Google search for "bruce garrioch fat".

And on that note, for the next few days I'm going to make like Dany Heatley during an important playoff series and completely disappear. I'm heading to picturesque Saskatchewan for a week. And while I'm told that they did recently figure out electricity out there, I'm pretty sure they don't yet have enough tubes to support the internet. So I'll be offline from right now until the middle of next week.

And you know that means: Mats Sundin will be announcing his decision any minute now. Just to screw with me.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Welcome to the third and final installment of the Leafs all-time nightmare squad. We've covered the forwards and the goalies and defence. Now let's meet the men who helped turn those guys into the hopeless losers they were.

What was that note I wrote on my hand?B-e-n-c-h-m-c-c-a... ah, I'm sure itwasn't important.

Coach

Paul Maurice (2006-08)

Why we hate him: This was a tough category. The Leafs have had exactly two good coaches since the early 80s: Pat Burns and Pat Quinn. The rest ranged from overmatched to completely hopeless.

So why pick Maurice? Because unlike the other failures, Maurice was supposed to be good. When he was hired, most agreed that the Leafs had made a wise choice. After all, Maurice was young and had already been to the finals with a surprising Hurricanes team in 2002. Unfortunately, nobody bothered to check any of the other seasons on his resume. If Paul Maurice was a singer, he'd be Nena and the 2002 Cup run would be "99 Luftballoons".

Under Maurice, the Leafs were a miserable team that missed the playoffs twice. They were the only team in the league that played a man defensive system, a scheme that Maurice insisted on sticking with even as the Leafs got shelled every night. What's worse, Maurice apparently didn't believe in concepts like accountability, as he allowed the Leafs dressing room to become a country club where whiny veterans like Bryan McCabe and Jason Blake could feel cosy and comfortable even as the losses piled up.

Redeeming qualities: Was respectful of the busy schedules of Leaf fans, ensuring they always made it home from games 30 seconds early by never calling a timeout no matter how desperately the team needed one.

Coaches who did not receive consideration:John Brophy - Sure, he wasn't a very good NHL coach. And yes, the players all hated him. But Brophy was batshit crazy, loved goon hockey and occasionally wore a derby behind the bench. Also, if I made fun of him he'd probably hunt me down and get Brian Curran to beat me up.

Hey John, do that hilarious impressionof every Leaf fan who had to watchthe teams you built

General Manager

John Ferguson Jr. (2004-08)

Why we hate him: If you really don't know, then allow me to say: Welcome aboard, and I hope you're enjoying your first day as a hockey fan.

Just for fun, let's list all of Ferguson's mistakes. He traded Tuuka Rask for Andrew Raycroft, he signed McCabe to the Contract That Will Not Die, he gave Jason Blake a five year deal, he traded a high pick for Yanic Perrault, he didn't ues buyouts to create cap space after the lockout, he gave no-trade clauses to everyone he ever signed including the cleaning staff, he signed Jason Allison and Alex Khavanov and Calle Johansson and an injured Eddie Belfour and ...

OK, you know what? That was a bad idea. If I try to list everything there's a good chance I'll be left with a 40,000 word post and little bloody stumps where my fingers used to be.

Let's save space and just like all the good things Ferguson did. He picked up solid third-liner Chad Kilger off waivers. He signed Tomas Kaberle to a decent contract. He managed not to get completely bent over on the Vesa Toskala trade. That's it. Three things in almost five years.

And by the way, even though he's been fired and will never work in the NHL again, it will take the Leafs another three of four years to dig out from the weight of his terrible contracts.

GMs who also received consideration:Floyd Smith, Gerry McNamara, Ken Dryden any time he spoke

GMs who did not receive consideration:Gord Stellick - If you're a fan of this blog, then I've already convinced you that Russ Courtnall for John Kordic was a good trade. On top of that, Stellick gets points for apparently being the only Harold Ballard employee who ever had the grapefruits to tell the old man to go piss up a rope. And that's pretty impressive, considering he was only 14 at the time.

Die.

President

Richard Peddie (2003-until we rise up as one and slay him)

Why we hate him: Oh lord, where to start? Despite having absolutely no experience in professional sports, Peddie insists on taking hands-on approach to running the Leafs and Raptors. He was the mastermind behind the hirings of John Ferguson and Rob Babcock, and despite his denials he's known to have meddled with roster decisions of both teams. His insistence on staying in the spotlight at all times despite clearly being clueless has made him a running joke among front office folks in two leagues.

While most exectuives would settle for simply being morons, Peddie has demonstrated impressive creativity in finding new and original ways to embarass MLSE. He humiliated Ferguson by calling his hiring a "mistake" when the GM was still employed, somehow making a debacle out of the only known instance of him being right about something. He also became a youtube celebrity thanks to his infamous ventriloquist performance at Cliff Fletcher's press conference.

Richard Peddie is an over-inflated blowhard, an empty suit without a shred of self-awareness, a thin-skinned meddler with no positive qualities beyond his ability to squeeze extra dollars into the hands of his soulless corporate masters, and the Leafs will never win anything as long as he's associated with the team.

Redeeming qualities: None.

A meeting of the Harold Ballard fan club

Owner

Harold Ballard

Why we hate him: While most of the guys mentioned on this page are guilty of being stupid, Ballard was actually evil.

Stories of his legendary greed have been well-documented. This is the guy who turned off the water taps at MLG during a heat wave, incinerated Foster Hewitt's gondola, and included his ugly dog in team photographs. After driving most of the team's star players out of town by the early 80s, Ballard ensured the team was awful every year until he finally died in 1990.

Tradition has it that once a year on Halloween he pushes aside the door to his crypt, crawls out into the moonlit night, shuffles down the side streets of Toronto eating stray kittens, and meets with Richard Peddie to give him management advice.

Redeeming qualities: Eventually died and went to hell, where Satan's minions refer to him as "kind of an asshole".