Kanye West's Best Angry Rants

In the latest issue of GQ, Kanye West does what Kanye West does best: rants his pants off. The newly married singer goes off on everything from paparazzo to Kim Kardashian in the most endearingly Kanye manner. After striking a deal last March in a case a paparazzi brought against him, pleading no contest to the misdemeanor battery charge and agreeing to two years probation, 250 hours community service, and 24 sessions of anger management therapy, we were a little worried that might be the end of Kanye's epic Twitter rants and talk show tirades. Would it actually bring a moratorium on all things Angry Kanye? Thankfully, as this latest interview proves, it would not. To celebrate, we take a look back at some of his most legendary rants and all of their arbitrary topics:

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BLOWFISH

When asked about how he deals with the paparazzi, Mr. West explained:
"I'm a blowfish. I'm not a shark, I'm a blowfish. So that perfect example about me hitting my head: It's like a blowfish. I wasn't coming out of my house going to a paparazzi's house to attack them. I'm defending my family in front of my own house. I'm defending my name as someone's screaming something negative at me. That's a blowfish. People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way am I that. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone. I want to defend people. I want to help people."

KIM KARDASHIAN

"Kim is this girl who fucking turns me on," Kanye told GQ. "I love her. This is who I want to be next to and be around. And then people would try to say, 'Well, you know, if you're a musician, you should be with a musician, and if you want to design, you need to be with a girl from the design world.' I don't give a fuck about people's opinions. Because when a kid falls in love with an airplane or a bike or a dinosaur ... it's like, fuck, you mean to tell me that the dinosaurs walked the earth and stuff like that?! You mean to tell me that this girl with this fucking body and this face is also into style, and she's a nice person, and she has her own money and is family-oriented? That's just as cool as a fucking fighter jet or dinosaur! And just as rarely seen."

TWITTER

"I DON'T HAVE A F___ING TWITTER," Kanye wrote on his blog in May 2009, in unnecessarily angry caps lock. "HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW ... WHY? ... BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!" He joined Twitter soon after.

On May 5, 2012, Kanye saw all fashion things he hates in what seems like a five-block radius of a town he was driving through. Naturally, he took to Twitter to express his displeasure. And naturally, Kanye happens to have been photographed wearing many of these looks in public before he tweeted those things. Those in glass houses?

"I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books," he said in a 2009 interview about (what else?) his upcoming book. WELL JOKE'S ON YOU KANYE, CAUSE BOOKS CAN'T WRITE AUTOGRAPHS.

BONNAROO MUSIC FESTIVAL

In 2008, fans at the Bonnaroo music festival weren't exactly thrilled when Kanye kept them waiting until 4:40 A.M. to play what was supposed to be a sunset concert, so they spray-painted the event's port-a-potties with things like "F*CK KANYE." Kanye was hurt, taking to his blog (again) to express the following sentiment: "But this Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I've ever had in my life. This is the most offended I've ever been ... this is the maddest I ever will be. I'm typing so fucking hard I might break my MacBook Air."

Although, you know, we'd venture he's been madder than that since 2008. Maybe at Jimmy Kimmel, or Nike, or an abstract concept, like "hypberbole."