With James opting out of his contract last week -- creating loud, ESPN-manufactured noise -- it was up to Riley last night to deliver yet again a glorious moment, a player, a trade, something to lure our beautiful King James back to town.

"I fell more in love with him the closer you got to the pick," he said. "It just came together. You just sort of zero in on somebody. It's very difficult when everybody knows you're zeroing in on someone. We're very fortunate to have drafted Shabazz. We feel very excited about him and what he can be."

New point guard should just wear "LeBron Wanted Him" on back of jersey instead of "Napier."

Napier put up 18 points, 5.9 rebounds, and 4.9 assists for Connecticut last year, helped his team win the national championship, and was named the Final Four's "most outstanding player" after this year's NCAA Tournament. He also won a championship in '11. Sounds like a future Heatles member to us.

"For one of the best players in the world to be intrigued by my talent is something so special to me," Napier said about LeBron. "One of the best players, if not the best player, is recognizing my [talent]. I appreciate it."

See, that's the other thing. Because Chalmers is a free agent (and because Cole is locked in at a reasonable $2.15 million next year alongside Napier's rookie deal), it appears the best player in the entire NBA will be yelled at elsewhere next year. We'll see.

Shame this likely means the end of the line for the best player* on the Heat, Mario Chalmers.

But perhaps the best part of the last night was ESPN's Bill Simmons whining on the air, distraught that he'll have to come to South Beach for the finals again next year and creating a magnificent Vine for all: