Early Easter morning, a Mount Pleasant, South Carolina family got the surprise of a lifetime from a gigantic visitor. And no, I’m not talking about that goofy ass Easter Bunny looking for some free carrots. A nine-foot alligator weighing between 200-300 pounds stopped by the family’s porch to give them some friendly interior design advice.

Watch the wild footage in the video below.

Gators can climb 15-foot staircases now??? I don’t care how drastically that gator improved the feng shui on their porch, that’s total bullshit. It’s only a matter of time before these crafty sons of bitches start opening doors like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park.

That’s why I’ll never head south despite the warm weather and cheaper cost of living. I’d rather pay higher rent for peace of mind and to not have a gator take a piece out of my ass. Those chompers are no joke.