hope

People often ask how they can shift their life. There are probably as many ways to create a shift, as there are people on the planet. In all these variations, one thing seems to be constant, the ability to look at things in a different way.

Have we ever noticed how easy it is to say what we don’t want? Many of us do this. Just listen to others. Notice how easily they pick holes in what is wrong or what they don’t like? How often do we start with “I don’t want” statements? How often is it only until we are fueled by anger, do we have the ability to speak up! How often do we speak up from a place of anger? Why is that?

The ego has done some very cruel things. My ego has reacted with anger, and fear at times, to your ego. These egos believe they are right and have justified their actions in the name of “rightness”. Egos harm. They make others wrong. I am learning to forgive my ego for the harm it has caused. I have already forgiven your ego. I forgive you. I wish you well.

Psychologist Tim Kasser, author of The High Price of Materialism, concluded the pursuit of materialistic values (money, possessions, and social status) leads to lower well-being and more distress in individuals.

This is still me! Can you relate? I used to wake up with chest pains, because as soon as my eyes opened, a thread of fears, issues, and anxieties, ran through my mind. I ground my teeth so hard in my sleep I cracked my molar. I was stressed out. The stress become so intense, I ended up in the hospital with a life threatening illness.

B. Cheap and easy access to birth control has helped lower unplanned/unwanted pregnancies.

As a society, we spend much energy on the morality of abortion and rights to birth control.

We seem to talk loud and act little on solutions to the fundamental question:

How can we care for all the neglected and abused children (globally if you choose) or what about just in our own zip code?

Right now there may not be enough of “us” to take care all of “them” and one might stop to consider why that is?

Are we busy attempting to impose judgment rather than acknowledge the problem and look for solutions?

How do we channel our resources to take an active and productive role in meaningful change?

These neglected children, have children, and we pay for our lack of attention and support tenfold…. a million fold – do we even know?

Look around you right now. Do you like what you see? Then go drive in some areas that frighten you and ask yourself how is “that kid” being treated and how is “that kid” right there in your zip code going to make it?

As a young teen I was appalled at how myself and other minors were treated by society.

As a child, and a girl, I was constantly wary of a smile – was it kind or would it lead to yet another incident of sexual harassment. Nice people seemed to be their target.

His name was Al Feinstein. The local 40ish predator who had weed, porn, smokes and whatever you wanted. He understood you.

My best friend in 7th grade was an Indian boy who was targeted even more than I. Many boys were sexually assaulted and that was talked about even less.

The two adopted children I played with who were beaten and eventually the sister was beaten to death.

Going to a school closed by race riots, gun shootings, 13 year old pregnancies being hidden (often the result of rape or incest) and then living in the Middle East created a diverse world view.

Americas brand of oppression is quite vile and insidious because its subterfuge and “oh she’s so pretty” hidden under the flimsy veil of materialism and disguised by pleasant window dressing.

We see the pretty window and are lulled into the false belief “all is well here”. We normalize behavior with our sense of superiority. Might is right after all!

Kids are abused and starving – here, there…. everywhere. In America, 1 in 3 kids born after 2000 will develop diabetes and over half of those are minorities.

Many of us understand why. It’s the same greed and disregard in the food industry that has caused it. Where does food not fit for McDonalds go? Your kids public school. Using the same mentality that glamorized smoking and normalized it’s use.

My daughter practices great tolerance because she sees the disparity between her friends and other kids. They have absentee or abusive parents and some in 6th grade are already showing signs of what they’ve been exposed to and where they will most likely end up.

A few years ago a child was using trash bags for undergarments in another school. Do we think this child has the same access?

So what’s my point? My writing is a way for me to sort out my own internal dialogue. What it’s reminding me to do is tune into my own children. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in and distracted by “important adult business”.

It’s also a reminder to me that most of my volunteerism, intention and focus has been given to the children – all children in my sphere of influence. We all have our calling and I hope more are called to stop the cycles that have led us to exactly where we are right now!

The other point is we all struggle. Instead of judging each other – we could all use some help and some tolerance. When I’m hurting I do random acts of kindness. I’ve cleaned and organized more homes for moms and Taken in so many kids; at times we are the village.

And they do the same for me; especially when I’m struggling with my health. We are imperfect. We love and support one another even though we hold different beliefs.

One thing my tribe has in common – we are all independent thinkers.

For those of us dedicated to this cause, we need a lot more support. Some of these kids are so damaged they can destroy healthy families – so they are passed around. What is the fate of their children?

We can point fingers and pass judgment on others choices or we can focus that energy living in the solution and taking real and meaningful action to help!

How to juggle it all – work out – quality time with family – time to be a present partner – time for personal growth – time to volunteer – time to just play – time for personal development – time for sleep!

Plautus came up with this around 200 B.C. and the idea still lives. Life. It can be so hard. Especially when we follow Plautus’ formula and work to please others while neglecting the care of ourselves.