Post navigation

CALMING LIGHT, STORMING DARKNESS…an immersion into pure emotion

“Truly, it is in the darkness that one finds the light. So, when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest to us.”

Meister Eckhart

I am your joy

Your best of joy

I am the moonlight

You are the spring

Our love’s a sacred thing

You know I always will love you

I am forever

I am the one who came

When you fell down

I was the only one around (the only one)

When things would hurt you

I am forever

Wasn’t it I who said that you were free

When living seemed so hard to be

When things would hurt you

I am forever

We are forever

I am your friend

Through thick and thin

We need each other

We’ll never part

Our love is from the heart

We never say I don’t need you

We are forever

I am the one who said that you were free

When living seemed so hard to be

the only one

And nothing would cheer you

I am forever

Wasn’t it I who carried you around

When all the walls came tumbling down

And things would hurt you

I am forever

We are forever.

Michael Jackson

A personality is like a rope. When you cut it, it has many strands. When separated, each strand reveals microscopic layers…a kind of DNA, recording every choice we have made through thick and thin. How we use our lives determines who we are, informing our character, shrinking and expanding in proportion to our courage. When traveling through the dark times we can discover light, which is unexpected in its nearness. Allowing unhappiness to overtake us, doubt rules. Michael Jackson’s life embraced this wisdom in Buddha’s statement: “The trouble is you think you have time.” With a profoundly joyful spirit, he lived every second of his 50 years with whole-hearted enthusiasm, allowing for precious little sleeping time, and even less time caught up in doubt…soaking life up like a sponge…never being caught up in greed, living gratefully with sincere humility. With a sense of urgency, he channeled the most beautiful music, reflecting God in every aspect of his artistry. It was as if he innately knew his time dancing across the planet was short. Chosen, spiritually blessed, never waiting to be asked, he traveled the world saying: “What do you need and how can I help?” His calmness surprised many for, when on stage, he turned his calming, shy demeanor into a whirling tornado…deepening the mysteries of life while transforming all who watched and listened…for no one had ever experienced such pure emotion. When he sang, “Tell me about it!” people across the entire planet were inspired to change. Believing that life was too short to not reach out and touch people, Michael turned the darkness in his life into spectacular light, illuminating the world. Never believing in “sure bets,” or formulas, his answer to every problem was empowering people, tuning into energies, giving birth to a new reality… LOVE…pure and unconditional. As bullying and cruelty, lies and greed poured down upon him with a blackness of evil, Michael breathed out more light. His strength came from God and the masses of Fans who understood Michael’s loyalty to them and gave that loyalty back in full measure. While the world of politics and media turned 9/11 into war, Michael immediately used the destruction and violence for fuel to create and reach out to the victims. Believing that hate never dispels hate, only love can dispel hate, once again, Michael bravely stood up against lingering warlike feelings, and spoke out against violence…something he had done his entire career. This time, he wrote a spectacular anti-war song, “WE’VE HAD ENOUGH.” His storytelling describes both a scene where a child is asking why the police shot his daddy when he had no gun and, another child in a foreign land asking why his mama was killed by soldiers when all she did was try to raise her kids. “WHAT DID THESE SOLDIERS COME HERE FOR…IF THEY’RE FOR PEACE, WHY IS THERE WAR?” Over and over again Michael says, “DID GOD SAY THAT THEY COULD DECIDE, WHO WOULD LIVE AND WHO WOULD DIE?”

Only God could decide

Who would live and who would die

There’s nothing that can’t be done

IF WE RAISE OUR VOICE AS ONE

They’ve gotta hear it from me

They’ve gotta hear it from you

They’ve gotta hear it from us

We can’t take it

WE’VE ALREADY HAD ENOUGH

Michael’s ability to reach us through joy and pain is unequalled. Whether it be in recorded performance, short film performance, live performance, dance…we were taken on a spiritual journey, coming away with messages that ring out with great clarity still today.

“When Jackson performed, he could feel these turbulent emotions surging through him. With his dancing and singing, he tried to transfuse the suffering…give it expression, meaning and strength. It was liberating.”

He was the most expressive man I ever met and it was a joy to be with him. Every cell…every fiber of his body was infused with music. He just overflowed with it….and when he sang and danced he was so joyous. Everyone who heard him was affected….no wonder he was so beloved by so many.

It is now August….2016….the month of Michael’s birth. I wonder what his mom thought realized what he was…she certainly saw a gifted he was at the age of 2….when he would dance to the rhythm of the washing machine! He was such a cute little boy….and became the lead singer of the Jackson 5….How amazing that was! Michael was brimming with talent…in just about every area…including painting and drawing. What a musician he was…When I played for him, he always had very apt remarks for me….he heard phrasing and meaning…(and he was never formally schooled in classical music like I was. He was the best critic for me…and I loved playing for him. Also was really honored to play when he sang…we rehearsed certain songs he wanted. When I think about all that, I almost cannot believe it all happened, but it did. At one point he asked me if I would come with him on his BAD TOUR….to play….even though he did have an excellent pianist in Greg Phillinganes…but he seemed to want me to be there as well. I had a hard time deciding…because of the schedule of concerts that had been lined up. (It is difficult to give up concerts….I WAS a concert pianist, after all. When I told him this, he said that he would bring along a good Steinway for me to practice, and I could take time off from the tour to play my concerts. I really didn’t know what to do. I realized I would become so involved with his concerts that I might not practice as much as I should. He was so appealing…I always wanted to be where he was. (One of my good friends pointed out, that obviously he wanted me to me with him…and why didn’t I get that? Hmmm….why not, indeed? When all was said and done, I did not go….and to this day, I regret that decision! Who knows, maybe things would have been different for him, if I had gone. One never knows how one component can change circumstances. But I didn’t see far enough…and so I did miss an opportunity of a lifetime. (I had been living so many wonderful experiences….in the classical ballet world…with Balanchine, Robbins, and etc. and perhaps didn’t appreciate what was being offered.) I loved Michael dearly…and was a bit afraid of all those feelings as well….I look back and wonder, what was I thinking? He was such a role model for me….and so very kind and gentle. What an intellect he had…I loved talking with him….And I miss him so much. It has been 7 years, and yet is like yesterday that he was here. I constantly remember things we did, and smile at some of the funny things that happened. He was such a cut-up….he could always make me laugh…so much. Dear Michael….celebrating your birthday is a pleasure…and I just wish that you were still here!!!!