Welcome back to The Outhouse’s irregular feature, “Irrational Fanboy Reacts To…” In this installment, Irrational Fanboy tries to find out why we are allowed to make fun of him and his basement dwelling, fat, living in mommy’s house, virgin friends, but not anyone else.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY : So, if I followed the whole Dirk Manning, Tony Harris, and Peter Gunn crap correctly, we are not allowed to make fun of women, use women as a lens to make fun of others, or even suggest that female stereotypes are funny?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : True.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Why not?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Because misogyny and sexism are real.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: So what? So is prejudice against other minorities and we are allowed to make fun of them.

WHITE KNIGHTS: : NO YOU’RE NOT!

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Really? Ok, but we can make fun of racism right? I love the joke, “what do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist!”

WHITE KNIGHTS: : No. Making fun of, mocking, and pointing out the absurdity of racism is just as bad as racism and is not allowed. Just look at how my fellow white knights reacted to Peter Gunn making fun of fanboys who voted to have sex with a fictional lesbian.

Look at that. There is no way that a reasonable person would think that is homophobic or anti-women at all, but reason has no place in modern discourse, and neither does humor.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: It’s pretty obvious that, although not funny, Gunn was making fun of men who think that they can turn a lesbian and Dick Grayson. What’s so wrong about that?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : The problem is that there are men who think that.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: That’s the joke, that there are men who think that.

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Giving attention to that thought gives it power.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Even if the joke belittles that belief?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Especially then. Not only did Gunn perpetuate the belief that lesbians can be turned, but he also mocked people’s belief systems, and you can’t do that.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Wait, so you can’t make fun of ignorance because it brings attention to ignorance AND ignorance counts as a protected class?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Now you are getting it. Furhtermore, no lesbian would ever joke about turning a stright woman, so straight men can't joke about turning a lesbian.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: What about Grayson, why can’t we make fun of him? He’s not a member of a protected class, is he?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Well, first off, the joke implied that Dick was a woman, and that seriously demeans women because it implies that Dick being a woman is funny because women are less than men, and, also, he is an orphan. You can’t make fun of orphans.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Even if the joke has nothing to do with his being an orphan?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : He is an orphan, so making fun of him IS making fun of an orphan.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: …wha?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : The safest thing you can do is never tell a joke at someone’s expense.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Aren’t all jokes a joke at someone’s expense?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Don’t be silly. There are plenty of safe jokes, like, “why did the chicken cross the road?”

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: So, you find humor in putting innocent animals in danger? What would PETA say?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Ok then. Knock knock.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Who's there?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Banana.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Banana who?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Knock knock.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Who's there?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Banana.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Banana who?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Knock knock.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Who's there?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Banana.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Banana who?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Knock knock.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Who's there?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Banana.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Banana who?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Knock knock.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Who's there?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Orange.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Orange who?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: What if I have short term memory problems or ADHD? That joke makes me feel bad because I forgot that you ever said “banana” so now I don’t get it.

WHITE KNIGHTS: : What do you call a fish with no eyes?

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: Oh, so mutilating fish is ok?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : UGH!

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: I know, right! Are there any jokes that are safe to tell anymore?

WHITE KNIGHTS: : There’s always making fun of fat, mommy’s-basement-dwelling, virgin man-children, otherwise known as fanboys. As long as they are white and have both parents and are Christian heterosexuals.

IRRATIONAL FANBOY: That’s not fair!

WHITE KNIGHTS: : That’s what you get.

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About the Author - GHERU

RU, or as he’s known in the writers’ room: the cute one, is relatively unappreciated in his time. RU’s YouTube show, RUviews is watched by literally multiple people every month and his Outhouse articles have helped line many a bird cage. Before you send RU a message, he knows that there are misspelled words in this article, and probably in this bio he was asked to write. RU wants everyone to know that after 25+ years of collecting he still loves comic books and can’t believe how seriously fanboys take them. RU lives in Akron Ohio (unfortunately) with WIFE, ‘lilRuRu, and the @DogGodThor. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, & even Google+ (if anyone still uses that).