There are lots of pretty good ways to predict the weather. “Red sky at night, sailors’ delight, red sky at morning, sailors’ warning” is tried and true. Cows are good. If the local cows are lying down in their field it means rain. Bunions are, of course, the standby weather forecaster, up there with arthritis, sinuses and old injuries; they’re always acting up when the weather’s about to change. The dog going crazy and tearing through a door could mean “there’s a tornado coming, hide in the cellar!” or nothing at all.

But, times they are a changin’.

Now, with rapidly advancing technology, we have Doppler Radar, NEXRAD, The National Weather Service, etc. But is our forecasting better? No! And why you ask? I’ll tell you why, the weather over Western Pennsylvania is a JagOff! That’s right. We have professional meteorologists predicting the weather using the latest bazillion watt radar technology, but how accurate are they? Not quite as accurate as a field of cows, who as we have just learned, lay down when it’s going to rain. So if there are 100 cows in a field and 80 of them are lying down, that means an 80% chance of rain, right? But what if according to Doppler Radar no rain is in the forecast. Who will you believe? I’m taking the cows. Why? Because our weather is a JagOff, that’s why!

Thing is, all of this technology works in the Atmosphere, and where is the weather? In the Atmosphere! So, the weather is up there jagging around the technology! This is why our meteorologists struggle with accurate weather prediction! Up there in the sky, weather is lying to the system, whispering in its ear, covering NEXRADs’ eyes with its hands! So when one of our local meteorologists appear to be wrong, it’s not them, it’s that no good, lyin’, cheatin’, Western Pennsylvanian Weather!

“How can I know which Ya Jagoff brand clothing and accessories to use this weekend?” you may ask. First, watch the local weather forecast, then, call your grandma and bring up her bunions, next, take a drive into the country and check the cows, and finally, call your old friend from high school and ask about his left knee. When you’re sure what the true weather forecast is, put on your ‘Don’t be a Jagoff’ hoodie, shake your fist at the sky and shout, “You can’t fool me, Ya Jagoff! ”

See the “Shout Out” video from our panel group at the Hawaii Social Media Summit