Police Dispatch

HE SNOOZED; HE LOST

A drunk student passed out on the toilet and fake-slept his way to jail, a UA Police Department report stated.

A UA officer responded to a call that a male student had stumbled into the lobby bathroom of Arizona-Sonora Hall, 910 E. Fifth St., and locked himself in there; he was not responding to knocks.

The officer broke in and found a male sitting on a toilet with his pants and underwear around his ankles, and his head between his knees, nearly touching the toilet. The male was evidently asleep.

The officer had to shake the subject hard in order to awaken him. The student could not produce identification, so the officer retrieved his wallet from his pants, finding a California ID showing him to be 19—and a fraudulent Arizona ID saying he was 22.

After the Fire Department declared the subject to be in no medical danger, he was taken to his dorm room. He responded to simple questions with nothing but a confused expression, and when the reporting officer requested that he sign a citation for underage drinking, he said he'd rather take a nap.

He repeatedly pretended to be asleep to avoid signing, even after being warned that he could be arrested. It took three officers to pry his prone body off the couch, handcuff him and bring him to jail.

INNOCENT 'TIL PROVEN INDECENT

WEST CALLE DON TOMAS

DEC. 28, 5:30 P.M.

A young man got off the hook for an alleged mooning incident, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The reportee said she saw a young, "chunky" Hispanic male getting out of an SUV parked on the street. She said she saw him pull his gray sweatpants down, revealing his buttocks and genitals. (He wasn't wearing any underwear, she said.) She said he then laughed.

She waited several hours before calling law enforcement, she said, because she'd been on her way to the gym.

On her way home, she said, she stopped by the house where the SUV was parked and tried to inform the residents that their son or some other young man had practiced indecent exposure. The residents didn't take her seriously, she said.

Deputies made contact with another young man who'd been in the SUV with the subject. He said the subject had been delivering some flour to the residents, and his oversized sweatpants slipped off as he was getting out of the vehicle. The subject couldn't pull up his pants right away, he said, because his hands were full. Naturally, they had both been laughing, he said.