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Monday, February 8, 2010

Father to Daughter, Michael

What can I say? Where shall I start?
You were so beautiful, you captured my heart
We only got to know you, through images on a screen
We felt the occasional movement, the rest was left unseen

If God had allowed it, I would have loved you so
I would have given anything, just to see you grow
To share with you in laughter; your joy, your years
To even share the sad times, and wipe away your tears

You would have been so beautiful; you had your mother’s eyes
And witty and funny, and carefree and wise
You’d have loved the mountains, as we shared walks and climbs
You had such potential; now I know only sad times

I will not devalue the time we shared, with any platitude
Just take these never-had memories, into my solitude
They said once for a princess, that the price for love was grief
So I will hold onto the loss I feel, and won’t let it be brief

I will not end with sadness; there’s hope in these words I’ve spoken
My joy is now the Father’s, and in Heaven nothing’s broken
Please know I dared to love you, and if Heaven’s rules allow
I’ll hold you close again one day, and forget the pain of now

:::

about the poem.
In Michael's words:

"For Abigail's funeral I wrote three poems. The first of these has already been shared on this site - So Nearly Beautiful and was very much written from a position of raw grief. A few days later I decided I needed to write something a bit more positive, focusing in less on Abigail's death and more on the beautiful person, daughter, sister, she had been and on the hope we had in heaven.

"This poem reflects on both the precious time we had with Abigail and on the potential that was lost. Abigail means 'Father's Joy' and this has a double meaning for me. She was supposed to be my joy as her Father but my hope in the last verse is that 'my Joy [Abigail] is now the Father's.' This was the first time I ever tried to make a poem rhyme and whilst the timing is a bit clumsy in places I am really pleased with the final result. It is my love letter to my daughter. It is on the wall in my home complete with her footprint, name and date of birth."

about the poet.
Michael started writing poetry after the death of his second child Abigail who was stillborn in October 2008. He is married with one living son who is now five. In his own words "I aim to survive the storm, but also hope to spot the odd ray of sunshine on the way." He blogs at Living in the Rainbow on subjects as diverse as stillbirth, infertility, grief, faith and a possible adoption journey.