“Don’t you call him Pony.” – Schitt’s Creek Recap – The Wingman

Another episode, another incredibly apt title that extends across all the storylines. We have Moira hyping Alexis up, both on national television and in private, offering support and advice as Alexis attempts to navigate her burgeoning PR career, David basically acting as a wingman for his own fiancé with his own (and everybody’s and also nobody’s) ex, Jake, and of course, in the most obvious and traditional sense of wingmanning, the triad of Johnny, Roland, and Ronnie attempting to find Bob a fellow wallower now that Gwen has officially taken the house. Although the impetus for their night out – complete with a prep session that does little for Bob but does at least provide a hilarious reminder of how deeply terrible Roland is at roleplaying (at least when Meryl Streep movies aren’t involved) – is a bit selfish on the part of Ronnie and Johnny, they do all end up putting in a lot of effort to try to help Bob.

And not a moment too soon. Poor guy’s so defeated he’s even lost his trademark shuffle-jog – I actually had to pause and replay the moment he entered the Rosebud lobby with Ronnie because I thought/hoped I’d imagined him simply walking in. He agrees with Roland that the last person he wants to be right now is himself. He even takes his marriage counselor’s side when she chooses Gwen. He really needs this night out at The Wobbly Elm, and after a few rough starts, it’s nice to end this one on a cautiously hopeful note after Ronnie – because of course it’s Ronnie who actually comes through for him – introduces him to an attractive, single woman who just happens to need some help with her car.

Source: giphy

Take that, Gwen’s adult male cousin!

Speaking of adult males, Jake’s back!

Source: giphy

And he’s as calmly brazen with his purposeful compliments and open invitations for whiskey (and whatever) as ever. When he delivers Patrick’s new coffee table, Jake wastes no time in shamelessly flirting with him, after kissing David full-on the mouth, of course and as usual. Actually, I don’t even think I’d consider what Jake does to be flirting. Flirting implies some hint of mystery among playfulness, some ambiguity layered under the expression of interest to keep things just on this side of certainty. Jake’s not ambiguous. There’s no maybe about him. Even when he doesn’t explicitly spell it out, his interest – and his offer – is always perfectly clear. Patrick may not immediately get what “whiskey and whatever” truly means (sweet thing he is), but David does. And he doesn’t hesitate to confirm Jake’s meaning to Patrick or, seeing that Patrick isn’t just flattered but also intrigued, to come around to the idea that accepting Jake’s invitation would actually be the best scenario for him and Patrick to do a little whiskey tasting.

In other mutually beneficial scenarios, Moira and Alexis are celebrating the successful launch of The Crows Have Eyes 3: The Crowening, having made the genius decision to spin the crow attack as a well-planned PR stunt. One that thankfully resulted in no harm to any crows (no word on how the painted seagulls fared) and only some wounded pride on the part of humans. And sure, one severed ear lobe, but that’s probably 90% of the reason the video from the premiere has been viewed two million times and the premiere itself is trending on Interflix! And in the midst of the accolades (and flowers), Moira is surprisingly solicitous of her daughter, even pulling her on camera during her morning show interview to ensure she gets her due for coming up with the idea.

And she doesn’t stop there. She’s quietly but firmly supportive of Alexis throughout the episode, offering guidance in the face of Alexis’ obvious turmoil over how to balance the needs of her accelerating career with those of her personal life, but stopping (barely) short of outright telling Alexis what to do. It’s the best kind of wingmanning a mother can do: reminding Alexis she can succeed at anything to which she puts her mind and assuring her, should she decide to go to the Galapagos after all, she needn’t worry about all her new flowers because they’ll probably be dead in a week anyway.

Source: giphy

Fine, moving on. Let’s get to this week’s superlatives!

Love That Journey For Her: Alexis Rose Communications is Officially In Demand

Playing off the crows attack as a promotional stunt gone exactly as it was meant to go, rather than one gone awry, was a stroke of genius on Alexis’ part. She deserves all the praise and interviews and interest from New York PR firms that follow. And she also deserves the time and space to see where it takes her, which means forgoing her plans to spend five months in the Galapagos with Ted just days before she was scheduled to join him there. I probably should have seen this coming, honestly, but I guess I’d been assuming the show wouldn’t want to give up the opportunities for humor that would surely spring from Alexis being a fish (or, giant tortoise, I suppose) out of water once again. Luckily for all of us, the people behind this show are smarter than I am. As much as I’m sure I would have enjoyed experiencing the Galapagos through Alexis’ very unprepared eyes, I’m ultimately really grateful the show has found a way for Alexis to move forward with her life in a way that feels true to her and what she wants.

Source: giphy

If she had gone to the Galapagos and ended up coming back early – either because she hated it too much or got an opportunity that couldn’t wait and that she couldn’t refuse – it would have felt like regression. Like she was giving up on a commitment she’d made to Ted and to their relationship. This way, with Alexis making the decision before going, and based solely on her opportunities rather than on fear or discomfort, is so much more empowering, and so much more satisfying. Her hesitance to tell Ted she’s not coming after all is both understandable and shows how far she’s come. Because Past!Alexis would have had way fewer qualms about choosing herself. Especially when choosing someone else means sharing a bathroom and living in a dorm with a screen that somehow attracts bugs. And although Ted ends up beating her to it, that Alexis was ready to tell him the truth about what she wants, despite knowing how disappointed he’ll be, speaks to how determined she is to pursue her dreams, just as he’s doing.

And because Alexis’ isn’t the only journey I loved this week, I’m doling this prize out to David and Patrick, too. Yes, they didn’t end up hooking up with Jake. And maybe they wouldn’t have even if the only option on the table hadn’t ended up seeming more like a lot-more-than-threesome.

But they were open to it. They had communicated about it and decided to test the waters. This wasn’t like the time David sent Patrick off to go on a date with a cute guy that picked him at the store. And it wasn’t like the first time Patrick “met” Jake and had been less than thrilled to learn he’d dated David…while also dating Stevie…and trying to date them both at once.

Because this time, they’re in it together, exploring an option as a couple. And, yes, this time it didn’t end up – as Alexis might say – being all that cute for them. But maybe next time an opportunity like this arises, it could be. Have fun, boys.

Moira’s Rose’s Garden’s Honorary Rose of the Week 4856: Bob

Just, he needs something good to happen this week, ok? Let him have this.

Source: giphy

“Roland in the Bedroom” Funniest Bit: Patrick Dresses for a Potential Threesome

This storyline – Patrick’s cautious but keen interest in he and David and Jake – gave us quite a few gifts. And none of those was greater than the reveal of what I can only hope is a shirt purchased at Blouse Barn’s sister store (Shirt Shack? Outfit Outlet?), although thank God he picked something with actual buttons, because I don’t think snaps could withhold the strain he’s putting on them. If Jake thought a plain green sweater really brought out Patrick’s lips, what exactly was Patrick trying to “bring out” for ol’ Jakey here? And how long has he been hiding this shirt in his closet, waiting for the perfect opportunity to entice someone who doesn’t believe in having to pick between a short- and a long-sleeved shirt?

David does a pretty thorough job of busting Patrick’s chops (which, in turn, are doing a very thorough job of trying to bust out of his shirt), so I don’t feel the need to pile on. I think we can leave it at simply enjoying the image of Patrick shopping for a “going out” shirt at some point in the not-so-distant past, deciding it definitely needed to be tight, but not quite being able to stray too far from the comforting familiarity of a sensible button-down.

Also, pretty sure Stevie’s fully immersed in Jake’s orgy scene. So that’s a fun thing to know now. And I’m torn between wanting it to remain this one perfectly contained allusion and wanting to learn absolutely everything about it – and see David’s reactions to each bit – in future weeks.

Source: giphy

Aw, David! Sweetest Moment: Moira’s a Good Mom

There was lots of sweetness sprinkled across this episode: Johnny trying to help Bob feel better, Ted telling Alexis she should focus on her career instead of risking it to come and possibly be miserable for five months, David gently supporting Patrick as he explores his interest in whiskey. But what I keep coming back to is the conversation between Moira and Alexis, in which Moira admits the abundance of flowers are for Alexis, confesses she’d been reluctant to tell her because she knows Alexis is feeling pulled in another direction, and then affirms how capable she is under the guise of helping Alexis “weigh her options.”

Source: giphy

It’s such a lovely, quiet show of support for her daughter, infused with Moira’s years of hard-fought industry wisdom and an understanding of not only what Alexis needs to hear in the moment, but the manner in which she needs to hear it.

Blouse Barn Durability Award for Best Look of the Episode: Moira’s Houndstooth Suit

I really really loved Alexis’ dress this episode, and Ronnie’s leather vest was perfect. But I cannot stopping thinking about this incredible pantsuit Moira wore on “Morning Live with Barb & Lizzie,” and then, in an act of kindness to all of us, kept on for the remainder of the episode as well.

Incredibly, and also not at all surprisingly, this isn’t even the first black and white houndstooth pantsuit we’ve seen Moira wear. But it – and the way she’s styled it – are off the chain (belt) amazing. The gloves! The cluster of brooches! The wide-knot tie! The ANKLET OVER A BOOTIE.

All impeccable. And (AND!) she’s not even wearing a wig, y’all! She’s on a national morning show, definitely an occasion for a Capital L LOOK (which, in Moira’s case, essentially always includes a Capital W WIG), and yet she’s chosen to appear as unequivocally herself. And she’s flawless.

A Vocabulary Lesson from Schitt’s Creek’s Resident Sesquipedalian

Corvidae [ˈkȯrvəˌdē], n. a cosmopolitan family of oscine passerine birds that contains the crows, ravens, rooks, jackdaws, jays, magpies, treepies, choughs, and nutcrackers. As in, “Thanks to your little attack of the corvidae, we are Interflix’s number one stream of the day. Tied only with the fourth season of ‘Caroline in the City.’”

Source: giphy

Delectation [dē-ˌlek-ˈtā-shən], n. delight, enjoyment. As in, “I didn’t want to overwhelm you, dear, I know you’re being pulled in another direction. Though, you might find a bit more delectation in this.”

A Notta Lotta Bit Alexis

Alright I’ll admit this is a stretch, but for the second episode in a row, the writers are getting off on being withholding about Alexis’ past, and I really didn’t want to have to say we again learned nothing new about her, so I’m counting it: She’s apparently never received from flowers from someone she’s not friends with. Honestly, it might be the most surprising thing we’ve ever learned about her past. She must not be counting would-be suitors, right? Or maybe, given the type of suitors she’s had, they were all more the type to send tokens of affection that wouldn’t be dead in a week. Let’s all just agree not to think too hard about what Jared Leto may have sent her after her first kiss…

Source: giphy

Estate Sale Auction Items

Moira inviting Alexis on camera only to chide her sweetly with, “They can’t hear you. Poor thing, she’s not mic’d!” was so perfectly Moira and also maybe my favorite single moment of this episode.

I’m so happy Ronnie is getting so much screen time this season. She’s a treasure, always.

Source: giphy

“Alexis, they’re asking about co-stars and I can’t be expected to remember everyone I meet!”

Why is David eating a pretzel while he and Patrick discuss potentially hooking up with Jake so funny? Where did he even get it? I have so many questions and I want zero answers.

I love the callback to Moira’s Not Without My Cousin co-star, Joyce DeWitt, so very much. She may have doomed that movie by insisting on wearing pigtails, but at least she’s thoughtful enough to send congratulatory flowers.

It may not have worked this time, but Johnny’s wingman move – pretending your friend just said something hilarious to attract attention – is actually pretty legit. And I love that it’s undoubtedly informed by the fact that single Moira always looked for a man who could make her laugh.

“I’m not saying I’m bailing on this, but I’m going to go mingle and I’m not coming back.” Again, Ronnie is a treasure.

I was so happy to see Bob get his jog back that not even the sad truth about the conversation he had right before it could ruin it.

Source: giphy

David was absolutely going to finish Patrick’s, “If one of us wants to leave and the other wants to stay…” sentence by suggesting they could just split up before he realized Patrick was going in a different direction. He’s come so far, but he’s still David, and I love that very much.

“Well, Myrtle’s a green sea turtle, and they only spawn every two years, so eating her eggs would actually disrupt an entire ecosystem. Plus, there’s like a ton of cholesterol.”

I’m not sure Alexis and Ted are going to make it, y’all. Both of their Skype calls ended before at least one of them could tell the other they love them. And the tone in Alexis’ voice when she says, “I guess we just wait it out…” after they decide she won’t join him is more defeated than just disappointed. And I have to admit, as much as I love Ted (and his puns) and appreciate that their relationship has been good for Alexis, I think a Ted-less ending might make the most sense for her. Very curious to see if that’s actually where the season goes.

My excitement that Herb Ertlinger is back next episode is matched only by my preemptive fury at the possibility that Moira Rosé might not actually ever be produced.

Source: giphy

Do you think Alexis made the right choice? Did David and Patrick? Did Stevie?? Come dish in the comments.

Featured image source: CBC/Pop

Liked it? Take a second to support HeadOverFeels on Patreon!

Share this:

Like this:

Related

Kim & Sage

Kim and Sage bonded over Fox Mulder, Friends trivia, and boy bands, then decided to start blogging about their fandom. Head Over Feels is a safe space for fangirls — powered by enthusiasm, glitter, and gifs. If you've been to a Doctor Who convention in the last five years, we've probably offered you wine.