Monday, February 11, 2013

Villain With A Vest

Can YOU

Name This Marvel Villain??

I don't... I can't even...

All right, look, I know it's hard to believe that this guy poses any sort of serious threat to even a normal person, much less a superhero. I mean, what's he going to do, charm you to death? Yet, armed only with a cane, style, panache and flair--and some armed hoods on loan from the Maggia--he actually took out four Defenders, including the Hulk. All while impeccably dressed, I might add.

Motivated by misguided revenge, Tapping Tommy--yes, I said Tapping Tommy--also had aspirations to be the next head of organized crime in Los Angeles. Aided by killer automatons modified from old movie props by his assistant, Hodges, Tommy kidnapped Kyle Richmond for ransom, only to soon face the combined might of Dr. Strange, the Hulk, the Valkyrie, and a freed Nighthawk. Who you'd think would be enough to mop up a low-level Maggia operation and some old movie props, right? I mean, in the prior issue, Dr. Strange by himself pretty much liberated 31st-century Earth from the Badoon.

Ah, but the Badoon apparently didn't have any gas bombs from the 1930s in stock:

And so, in what must be one of the most preposterous pages in comics history, we're treated to this spectacle:

Eternity must be laughing his galaxy-sized head off. And I can guess what he's probably thinking: "This is the so-called Sorcerer Supreme I've given my respect to??"

Okay, so Tapping Tommy has captured the Defenders--and I realize that statement alone is ludicrous enough, but it gets better. Because now that Tommy has the Defenders at his mercy, how does he plan to execute them? Why, with deadly choreography, naturally:

Thankfully, some measure of sanity returns to this book, as the Defenders free themselves fairly easily and destroy Hodges' control box--leaving a fleeing Tapping Tommy to be swiftly captured and rendered unconscious. And wait until he wakes up to discover that his clothes were probably wrinkled in the process.