you really sholud tell your wife. I don't think you actually really sholud be married. honestly, divorce is probably best. you like the game. be single and play it with people on that level. don't mess with the married. and that girl, if unhappy, sholud find her way out. why can't you find the independence out of marriage and lead life a little less hurtful for others. you and the other girl can be together if you both leave. she's not happy. you're not being fair to your wife and it looks like this wasn't the first time. I don't know if she's done the same, looks like she knew your game, but despite that it doesn't look like it's fair whether she was a little okay with it, not okay with it or for it. if you have kids or don't, doesn't matter, really sholud look to separate and leave. the love honestly isn't strong for you all and sounds like you're all just spreading stds. your marriages both sound like shams, that all four of you don't mind messing around. sounds just like signed pap