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The Essence of Infidelity

Relationships constitute several levels of devotion, beyond the obvious of I am not sleeping with other people. The conviction to stay romantically faithful in a relationship is a hell of a lot depending on the place you are in your life and the person you are with.

Cheating for me is not of real interest to me, especially being in a three year relationship in my past and eventually wanting to be married and having a stable household, well as stable as possible because we all know that the struggling economy is real and if you don’t have your ducks in a row you can be screwed faster than a virgin on a college campus.

As I digress…

The want to be faithful and emotionally committed to the person are you with has less to do with proving a point to your other half but to prove to yourself. Trust me I get horny and it would be easy to find some pieces to get loose with every now again, but I think of what I am forfeiting? Especially if it is in the beginning of our relationship. If we are addressing this just from a sexual standpoint I haven’t even pulled out all the stops to condone the actions of cheating and especially when we aren’t living in the same space together. I have no clue though on how long a couple will be hot and heavy for each other, but I hope forever and finding new ways to make sex inventive and fun. That is only one facet to the equation. It is facetious to think that sexual conduct good or bad will make or break your relationship.

Another is socially. Are you going out and appearing as if you are single and entertaining the masses and even taking the numbers even though you have no intentions of calling them?

Or are an overt flirt on social media and leaving all kinds flirtatious comments on people’s pictures and post?

Some couples have not discerned if the essence of cyber-flirting is permissible, but look at Anthony Weiner and we all see how fast that nonsense can be an apparent problem when there is no physical exchange going on. Just the shear gravity of the flirting and exchanging of photos can be problematic for the spouse who finds out. You are going to have people making comments to you especially if your profiles are public, but you can refute that by simply not responding. Personally to engage people beyond platonic topics in social media can get you in trouble and my personal rule of thumb is… “If you would feel some kind of way if your spouse did the same or you know your spouse would give you the side eye by doing so…”

DON’T DO IT!!!!

Protecting the best interest of your relationship is always imperative because I know people do not want to be made the fool of, whether it is publicly or their close inner circle. Protect your relationship and treat the person better than you would treat yourself. I think the failing sometimes in dating is that people respond most times to events as if it is them and not the partner. So you have this disconnect of people trying to resolve conflict for you, but in their voice. Even if you feel the urge to cheat or you are looking for something more you should communicate than the person you are dating. It’s so embarrassing to get caught. Cheating can be forgive but the stain it leaves in a relationship can cause many future complications and it is entirely the duty of both partners to remove the damage that was done.

If you have any tips to avoid cheating, place them in the comments. Also I would love to hear what do you define as cheating.

I’m beginning to find it difficult, or rather I’m beginning to feel tempted to step outside of my relationship. I think it started with a breakdown in communication and a few experiences where I felt we were getting monotonous. I’ve spoken about it with him several times and it feels as though he’s not willing to try anything to resolve. I was in a previous relationship with this type of rut and I couldn’t cope, I just let my self go free even though I knew all in all he didn’t deserve it I justified it.

Maybe you should say that. Communication is everything in a relationship and I understand that there will be a break down in communication from time to time, but when you have talked about it and there is still no resolution I understand your frustration. I think you should be honest and say that this is not what you signed up for and furthermore that you dont feel its healthy for you to be with someone I can’t communicate with effectively. I dont know how long you two have been together and if the problem is simply unexpressed emotion, but give it your all. If your love means a lot to you I say stick it out.

you are mad clearly and thats ok. All you are doing is giving me hits ad favor so you can do this all night. I will continue to block you and no one can see your messages unless I approve them on here so its pointless 🙂