About jakefw

My Religious Status
Atheist, Secular, Anti-Theist, Pirate Lover.
About Me:
I'm so funny and intelligent that when I make jokes, people simultaneously laugh and get smarter... it's an enigma, like clothing on a playboy playmate - see what I did there?
I'm a writer - currently for prolific blog www.rustylime.com.
I'm a poet - this is a lie.
I'm a fighter - more with my tongue than anything... take that however you want... ladies.
I'm an intellectual - e=Mc2... apparently.
I am well educated - I have degrees in both Fahrenheit and Celsius... some day I will rate in Kelvin.
My blood type is O- - But I like to think of myself as a positive kind of guy.
I was abducted by aliens at an early age - Bloody immigrants... always trying to take our jobs... and our children!
I love the theatre - I've always loved sterile environments where operations take place.
I am not an Animal lover - I prefer Beaker, that 'meep' sound he makes is hilarious.
I am a science literacy proponent - people need to know how to blow shit up using household chemicals like nitrocellulose and ear wax!
I deny evolution - while my cousin might look like an ape, she most assuredly isn't!
I am a climate change skeptic - man was never meant to wear underpants!
I love religion - But it's at that stage in it's life where it's getting really expensive to take care of it... I think it's time we took it behind the barn and put a cap in it's arse.
I hate intolerance - I especially hate intolerant people, I hate them in the face!
Thats me, if you want to know more, don't hesitate to procrastinate on sending me an email to ask questions about me and my pet Burrito named Dog!
Age: Old enough to pretend I didn't hear the question, young enough to emotively storm out of the room because you asked!
Why am I here: When a man and a woman love each other very much, they have 'intercourse' and if they love each other enough, the man won't 'pull out' and they'll make a baby. On this occasion, the baby was named 'Jake', and he's just great!
The religion I left: Christian, Catholic
Why I left My religion: disillusionment with church, doubts about god communicating to pastor, doubts about god communicating at all, contradiction between concept of "free will" and concept of omniscience god with will, "free will" doesn't make sense since desires not under our control, inability to view god as anything more than a sadistic tyrant, contradiction between bible's claim of god's love and existence of hell, doubting bible led to crumbling away of any firm belief structure,
Also why I left my religion: Priest and pastor could not answer questions on quantum physics... made me question everything!
Twitter: http://twitter.com/_Modus_Operandi

Holy Shit, you need a cloaca joke? Well I was studying bird anatomy in the late 90’s, when I came up with this joke. Granted it’s not that funny, but I am so surprised that someone actually requested a cloaca joke.