Monday, October 1, 2012

Every year, I like to talk a little bit about an invisible illness that many of us suffer from, but very few people are aware of the facts surrounding it. That affliction is depression, and it's still very misunderstood by those who have not personally experienced it.

Clinical depression isn't just feeling sad once in a while, or naturally grieving for a period of time after a sad life event. There's more to it, and it can seriously affect your day to day life. Here's how it's defined by the National Institute of Mental Health:

"Major depressive disorder, or major depression, is
characterized by a combination of symptoms that interfere with a
person's ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy once-pleasurable
activities. Major depression is disabling and prevents a person from
functioning normally. Some people may experience only a single episode
within their lifetime, but more often a person may have multiple
episodes."

There are many different forms of depression, some of which are:

Dysthymic disorder, or dysthymia, is characterized
by long-term (2 years or longer) symptoms that may not be severe enough
to disable a person but can prevent normal functioning or feeling well.
People with dysthymia may also experience one or more episodes of major
depression during their lifetimes.

Minor depression
is characterized by having symptoms for 2 weeks or longer that do not
meet full criteria for major depression. Without treatment, people with
minor depression are at high risk for developing major depressive
disorder.
Some forms of depression are slightly different, or they
may develop under unique circumstances. However, not everyone agrees on
how to characterize and define these forms of depression. They include:

Psychotic depression,
which occurs when a person has severe depression plus some form of
psychosis, such as having disturbing false beliefs or a break with
reality (delusions), or hearing or seeing upsetting things that others
cannot hear or see (hallucinations).

Postpartum depression,
which is much more serious than the "baby blues" that many women
experience after giving birth, when hormonal and physical changes and
the new responsibility of caring for a newborn can be overwhelming. It
is estimated that 10 to 15 percent of women experience postpartum
depression after giving birth.1

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD),
which is characterized by the onset of depression during the winter
months, when there is less natural sunlight. The depression generally
lifts during spring and summer. SAD may be effectively treated with
light therapy, but nearly half of those with SAD do not get better with
light therapy alone. Antidepressant medication and psychotherapy can
reduce SAD symptoms, either alone or in combination with light therapy.2

Bipolar disorder,
also called manic-depressive illness, is not as common as major
depression or dysthymia. Bipolar disorder is characterized by cycling
mood changes—from extreme highs (e.g., mania) to extreme lows (e.g.,
depression). More information about bipolar disorder is available.

What are the signs and symptoms of depression?

People with depressive illnesses do not all experience the same
symptoms. The severity, frequency, and duration of symptoms vary
depending on the individual and his or her particular illness.Signs and symptoms include:

Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings

Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness

Irritability, restlessness

Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex

Fatigue and decreased energy

Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions

Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping

Overeating, or appetite loss

Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment.

What illnesses often co-exist with depression?

Other illnesses may come on before depression, cause it, or be a
consequence of it. But depression and other illnesses interact
differently in different people. In any case, co-occurring illnesses
need to be diagnosed and treated.

Anxiety disorders, such as
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder,
panic disorder, social phobia, and generalized anxiety disorder, often accompany depression. PTSD can occur after a person
experiences a terrifying event or ordeal, such as a violent assault, a
natural disaster, an accident, terrorism or military combat. People
experiening PTSD are especially prone to having co-existing depression.

In
a National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)-funded study, researchers
found that more than 40 percent of people with PTSD also had depression 4
months after the traumatic event.

Alcohol and other
substance abuse or dependence may also co-exist with depression.
Research shows that mood disorders and substance abuse commonly occur
together.

Depression also may occur with other serious
medical illnesses such as heart disease, stroke, cancer, HIV/AIDS,
diabetes, and Parkinson's disease. People who have depression along with
another medical illness tend to have more severe symptoms of both
depression and the medical illness, more difficulty adapting to their
medical condition, and more medical costs than those who do not have
co-existing depression. Treating the depression can also help improve the outcome of treating the co-occurring illness.

What causes depression?

Most likely, depression is caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors.

Depressive
illnesses are disorders of the brain. Longstanding theories about
depression suggest that important neurotransmitters—chemicals that brain
cells use to communicate—are out of balance in depression. But it has
been difficult to prove this.

Brain-imaging technologies, such as
magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), have shown that the brains of people
who have depression look different than those of people without
depression. The parts of the brain involved in mood, thinking, sleep,
appetite, and behavior appear different. But these images do not reveal
why the depression has occurred. They also cannot be used to diagnose
depression.

Some types of depression tend to run in families.
However, depression can occur in people without family histories of
depression too. Scientists are studying certain genes that
may make some people more prone to depression. Some genetics research
indicates that risk for depression results from the influence of several
genes acting together with environmental or other factors.

In addition, trauma, loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship, or
any stressful situation may trigger a depressive episode. Other
depressive episodes may occur with or without an obvious trigger.

Speaking on a personal level, depression deeply affects me. Sometimes it's this overwhelming weight on my mind and body, a dark cloud over my head and a feeling like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders while walking through deep mud. It can make even simple tasks seem impossible; it destroys my concentration; it hampers my motivation.

There are many ways to help someone with depression, but you know what really doesn't help? People who tell me "Snap out of it!," "Just cheer up!," "What do you have to be depressed about? There are people who have it much worse than you!." "Happiness is a choice!". Do you really think that I want to be depressed? That I love feeling like shit? That I can just flip some magical switch and everything will suddenly become sunshine and rainbows?? That invalidating my feelings will actually somehow make me feel better? Be kind and supportive toward your friends with depression. You may not understand what they're going through, but a sympathetic and non-judgmental ear can make a world of difference to them.

Anyway, now that all that uncomfortable personal stuff is out of the way, how about some cheerful nail spam? The color for depression awareness is green, and that just so happens to be one of my most favorite polish colors.

And for everyone out there reading this that's going through depression, don't despair. You're not alone in this. There are people who understand and you don't have to suffer in silence. We're here for you.

Thank you so much for posting this. I've been struggling with depression since I was twelve, but I was only recently diagnosed with MDD. It's really been tough on me lately, so much so that I've been writing up a post about it. I had no idea that you were going to post this today -- thank you, again. And thank you for sharing your personal experiences. You're amazing.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I too struggle with this and while I have been getting treatment for years now, it is still a struggle that has cost me a great many things throughout the years. I always try to be open about it just in case I can help someone else reach out for help. I often hear people dismiss this instead of acknowledging that this is an illness that can end in death. If I had a nickel for every time someone told me to stop feeling sorry for myself, I would be a very rich woman. It never helped.

Thanks for this, dear Scrangie. As a depressive myself, I am always encouraged when I read of others who struggle. You are a brave soul. Greeeeeeens are my favorite, too (after a years-long infidelity with golds). with love

First of all, these are awesome polishes. Second of all, as someone who suffered from major depressive disorder at the same time of my eating disorder, I thank you for speaking out about this secretive issue. Too many people feel shame about mental disorders, like depression or mood disorders, and they do not get the help they need. There is NO SHAME in talking to someone or getting medication to help with depression. I still deal with depression often as I work on recovering from my eating disorder, but I am so encouraged when I hear about other people who are going through the same thing. Nail polish is one of the things that I really loved doing when I was depressed, and it helped me while I was in treatment for my eating disorder. Anyway, thank you, Scrangie, for speaking out and being BRAVE. I admire you, your strength, and your lovely polished nails. Love and hugs!

Thank you so much for addressing this serious issue that affects so many. I was finally diagnosed with MDD a few years ago after years of...not so good feelings. It's something so many people have trouble talking about because of the stigma that surrounds depression as a phase or act. For those of us who deal with it every day, this is not the case. Stay strong. Peace and Love <3

Wow this is such a great post. My husband has a bipolar disorder so I know exactly how it is to be with someone who's going through this kind of illness. He told me he used to have bad mood swings when he haven't met me yet and I'm just glad that I am not causing him to go through such confusions and bad mood swings anymore. It is very important to make them feel loved and that show them that you care and be there for them no matter what. Thank you for sharing this and your swatches are amazing.

Nothing you could ever do would cause your husband to have his confusions and mood swings - no matter what happens, don't blame yourself! He's so lucky to have someone who loves him unconditionally. :)

Great post. I've been struggling with depression and borderline personality disorder for 15 years and I appreciate this post. We are not alone in this and it is so very very important to be aware of this. Cool polishes btw. xoxo

Thank you so much for making these PSA type posts. People think that depression has something to do with a lack of happiness, but I find it's much more to do with a lack of vitality, which is quite a different thing.

The right therapies can be a great help, but IMO, the trouble is finding a therapist who knows how to use them well.

Green is also one of my favorite colors, so gorgeous! Thanks again and again for sharing your swatches.

Big "ditto" to all the people who said "great post" and "thanks for posting" and all that. Glad to see you're fighting the good fight. Try not to let all the people who just don't get it get to you. You can't fix stupid.

Thank you for your sincere and informative post about depression. I dont often comment, but this post definitely needs it! Many of us have struggled with bouts of depression in our lives, its never easy to live through or explain to strangers. Im currently clawing my way a series of depressive events, most people dont get it but those that do understand how hard it is. Loved some of the manis. We just need to keep going, keep trying it will get better!

Thank you Scrangie for all that you do. For those of us who have a tendency to feel blue or down on their luck, you have been a beacon in the darkness by sharing your love of makeup. You've created a site to look forward to, and helped us create hobbies to divert our energies to. So, you are definitely a part of the cure for depression. Thank you. I hope that what you do here is a joy, and will never become a burden for you because what you do is so valued.

Thank you! I was diagnosed with Bipolar I with Psychotic tendencies almost two years now. The months before my diagnosis were pure hell. I was already on meds for depression, but they weren't enough and I was incredibly depressed for months and then became manic. I finally found a good counselor and a good shrink and now, two years later I've finally found a cocktail of meds that actually work for me. It makes such a huge difference! Thank you for this. It's not easy to be sick. I am not at all shy about my diagnosis, I see no shame in it. I can no more help being Bipolar than someone else can help being diabetic.

I love your swatches and come here often to see your wonderful collection of polishes. I am rocking some green Nicole polish right now! Keep up the good work.

I maintain that green is the wrong color for this. It should be blue. But yes, I remember thinking "Geez, what is she depressed about?" that depressed people were weak with nothing better to do. Until it hit me. Crying during my lunch break. On the way home from work. In the shower before work. Wanting to just keep driving on the way to work. On the way home. Wanting to feel numb. Being glad that I felt numb, because at least it was better than the mood swings.

Thank you for this post and for sharing your story. I have many, many people in my life who have dealt with depression and I think it's great you are helping to get the word out about what it really is and how deeply it can affect someone. I think you make some excellent, heartfelt points in this post. On a lighter note, I absolutely love your swatches here, as always! Green is one of my favorite polish colors. :)

Although I have not suffered from this myself, I have loved ones who do and I thank you for this post. It does make such a difference to have it acknowledged rather than dismissed. And, I have to get that Rainforest out of my untrieds!

I appreciate that you talk about this and it's so brave for you to post about your personal experience. Thank you for promoting depression awareness - it's not something that is discussed nearly enough in my opinion.

I have never loved this site more (and that's saying something, because I love this site a lot!). This is such an important issue. Both as a psych major (future clinician) and someone who suffers from clinical depression, I applaud you raising awareness and being brave enough to share your story. Talking about it is the only way to dispel the myths surrounding depression (and other mental illnesses), and putting it on a public site with a lot of traffic is even better. You truly are an inspiration. Thank you so much.

Awesome post! I don't suffer from depression but I do have Anxiety Disorder so I know some of what it feels like. I'm always hearing "take a deep breath, relax, you're fine!" Kudos to you for not being afraid to say what you feel!

Scrangie, thank you so much for this compassionate, informative post. A few years ago, a family friend said "Depression is a choice." I don't understand how any educated person could hold that view. And I'm soooo loving the green polishes! I'm wearing China Glaze Cha Cha Cha on my nails right now, and LOVING it. <3

As always, thank you for this post. Having nearly lost the most important person in my life to depression without ever realizing that the insidious illness had crept into our lives, I don't think it can be talked about enough. I am immeasurably thankful that he was able to say something about it in time. It is an illness and deserves the same attention and caring treatment as any other illness. What it is NOT is a sign of weakness or some kind of character flaw. Depression has no favorites, it is unimpressed by wealth, fame, intelligence or social status. It can strike anyone at anytime, and no one should have to fight it alone.

Scrangie, great to see such a lovely post. As a fellow nail blogger who suffers from depression, it is amazing to see you be so brave and informative. It's posts like these that help educate people about what depression is. Bravo, and the swatches are beautiful as always.

I LOVE GREEN! Greens are my favorite. I live with someone suffering from major depression problems. The last year their condition has gotten much worse and I know how hard it is just to help them get by day to day.

Thank you for speaking out, Scrangie. There's such a stigma around mental illness, you're a brave person to do this. I have bipolar II, and while the manic episodes are mostly under control, I still get depressive episodes. It sucks out loud.

Great swatches as always! I'll break out one of my untried greens for my next mani.

The polishes are lovely, but your post is the best part. I've experienced plenty of anxiety and depression in my life, and it is so much worse when people are dismissive to you. Thank you, and all the other commenters, for reminding us we aren't alone!

What a great post on such a widespread, silent illness. And what a brave lady you are to feel comfortable enough to open yourself to all of your readers regarding your ordeals. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Scrangie. I wish you and all your fellow sufferers (myself included) the strength to get help and the ability to use that help for the betterment of your lives. Bless you, Scrangie.

I just applied light blue polish; I guess I will add a teal or green to show my unity! ^^

To avoid exact repetition, I just want to thank you, Scrangie, and all of the other lovely commenters here. It always feels so much worse when people are dismissive to you. Depression and anxiety are all too real for many of us. It's good to feel like we aren't alone. <3

I don't often comment (in fact I don't know that I've ever commented here), but I do lurk daily. This post makes me want to de-lurk, so here I am. Thank you for posting about this every year, Scrangie.

I was born into a family with a long, brutal history of depression and anxiety. It is absolutely biological and absolutely hereditary. It is NOT a choice or a negative outlook or a weakness in character. It is a legitimate illness just like diabetes or fibromyalgia, except that it's invisible and carries with it a stigma that makes it even more difficult to bear.

My father is considered somewhere between schizophrenic and bipolar (58 years old and the doctors still don't know), my mother suffers from an anxiety disorder as well as clinical depression. My aunt and uncle both lost their lives to complications that arose from their respective depressive and bipolar disorders.

I myself suffer from severe clinical depression and PTSD. I spent 9 years of my life in a state so miserable that my mind has wiped much of it from memory. I used to pray every night before I went to sleep that I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I had promised my mother that I wouldn't take my own life but I wanted to die more than anything else. I didn't want to be conscious. I didn't leave my apartment for weeks at a time. I dropped out of university, severed all communication with my friends, and forgot who I was. I forgot about everyone and everything that I loved and isolated myself because I didn't want to subject anyone I knew to my misery. I harmed myself regularly and took handfuls of pills so that I could sleep through the pain instead of dealing with it.

Your post, and especially the last paragraph, read exactly as my life right now & for the past several years. I hope you're better & wish I could talk to you about this...but all I can do is send you lots of hugs with hopes that things will get better. XoXoX

Your entire post, especially the last paragraph, sounds exactly like my life right now (and for the past several years). I hope you're better or will be soon.. and I wish I could give you (and all the people who may have recognized themselves in your post) a very big warm hug. I also wish I could talk to you about this, as I have nobody else who understands what I'm going through. Only my mom's unique situation in life is preventing me from saying "to hell with it all" & ending my life. Btw I also suffer from an incurable and EXTREMELY painful disease called Endometriosis, which has, along with PTSD, depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, bipolar, etc., ruined EVERY aspect of my life... I've lost my career, a baby, and have become homeless ... all because of Endometriosis & mental health issues. I shake like a leaf if I must go out in public, I have no desire to look nice (nail polish is the one thing I take interest in, but I just collect it, rarely do I ever use it).

I met my partner then, at the lowest point in my life. After several months as my very best and only friend, he begged me to get treatment. I had seen psychiatrists and therapists before and was on medication that was doing nothing for me. I was convinced that just like my father, I was going to suffer through life until the universe decided to be merciful and let me die. Still, I figured things couldn't possibly get any worse and I gave in. I went to the hospital the next day and told them how I was living.

The doctors changed my medication repeatedly. I spent months dealing with side effects and mood swings and had to go on welfare so that I could afford to pay for my prescriptions. I saw psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and counselors. My diagnosis was changed several times. I was put on higher-than-recommended doses of drugs and experienced horrible withdrawal symptoms coming off of them even with the doctor's supervision.

And then it stopped. After more than a year of juggling medications and treatment plans, we found what worked for me. I started smiling again. I realized that I missed people. I remembered the things that used to bring me joy and I started doing them again. The life that I had given up on was suddenly back and I found that even after everything, I wanted to live it.

I have been in a stable relationship with that same person who urged me to get help for almost 4 years now. I have a full-time job at which I excel and that I love. I have lots of friends. I laugh and I joke and I look at the world like I never thought I would ever see it again - and it is fucking beautiful.

The point in all of this is that I honestly believed my life was over. I had completely lost hope. I do not doubt for a second that I would have died had someone not interfered.

BUT I GOT BETTER! It is absolutely possible even though you couldn't have convinced me of it at the time. One person cared enough to get me help and I am alive and genuinely happy today because he did.

If you or a loved one suffers from depression, anxiety, PTSD, ANYTHING - there IS hope and it CAN get better. I love my life and I can't fathom not having experienced all that I have in the past few years. Please, PLEASE do not give up if you feel like I did. If I could get better, you can too - and you deserve to do so. There are incredible things in this life that are worth living for, I swear.

I just teared up reading your post Laurie! I am so happy for you that you got help and didn't give up when thing after thing didn't work. To me that says that even when you thought you were ready to give up, you weren't. You have a core strength that kept you going and that is beautiful! You are beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story! (((HUGS)))

Thanks so much for this, Scrangie. I read your blog regularly and you've always given me something to enjoy, to admire, and to feel happy anticipation for. To others, this might not seem like the most likely forum, or the biggest deal, but it meant so much to me, as someone who lives with depression, to see you post this here. For me, this blog is a always a happy place-- it's especially happy today. Green is my favorite color for polish as well! you've inspired me to wear it all month for awareness as well as beauty. -- JGO

Thanks so much for this, Scrangie. I read your blog regularly and you've always given me something to enjoy, to admire, and to feel happy anticipation for. To others, this might not seem like the most likely forum, or the biggest deal, but it meant so much to me, as someone who lives with depression, to see you post this here. For me, this blog is a always a happy place-- it's especially happy today. Green is my favorite color for polish as well! you've inspired me to wear it all month for awareness as well as beauty. -- JGO

Thanks so much for this, Scrangie. I read your blog regularly and you've always given me something to enjoy, to admire, and to feel happy anticipation for. To others, this might not seem like the most likely forum, or the biggest deal, but it meant so much to me, as someone who lives with depression, to see you post this here. For me, this blog is a always a happy place-- it's especially happy today. Green is my favorite color for polish as well! you've inspired me to wear it all month for awareness as well as beauty. -- JGO

Thanks so much for this, Scrangie. I read your blog regularly and you've always given me something to enjoy, to admire, and to feel happy anticipation for. To others, this might not seem like the most likely forum, or the biggest deal, but it meant so much to me, as someone who lives with depression, to see you post this here. For me, this blog is a always a happy place-- it's especially happy today. Green is my favorite color for polish as well! you've inspired me to wear it all month for awareness as well as beauty. -- JGO

Thanks so much for this, Scrangie. I read your blog regularly and you've always given me something to enjoy, to admire, and to feel happy anticipation for. To others, this might not seem like the most likely forum, or the biggest deal, but it meant so much to me, as someone who lives with depression, to see you post this here. For me, this blog is a always a happy place-- it's especially happy today. Green is my favorite color for polish as well! you've inspired me to wear it all month for awareness as well as beauty. -- JGO

Thank you for this post. I suffered from MDD for several years; I'm really glad that you're raising awareness about something so important. And you are very brave in your own battle. I wish you the best!

I look forward to this post every year. It means something to me every time, but this past year has been exceptionally hellish for me. Sometimes you think things can't can any worse but then life laughs in your face and proves you wrong. But I'm still here. And that counts for something.

Thank you for your well written post. Both my sisters have been diagnosed with depression and responded well to meds. What they don't know is that I struggle with a mild form of it. I hide it really well but many of the symptoms are there at times. My recent attraction to polish sprung from my depression. I found that the color on my toes and nail can reflect or change my mood.

I love all the greens, Maybe next time you could show some from BB Couture, they have some great greens.

I know exactly what you mean - my boyfriend constantly tells me to stop taking my medication and snap out of it - what have I got to be depressed about? Then the thought of having to find reasons for why I feel this way makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out! It's reassuring to read your post where you've managed to put all those frustrations into words. Thankyou

Thank you for posting this. Hopefully it will give others the courage to seek treatment. As I get older it seems more and more people around me are affected by depression but are afraid to talk about it, to understand what they are feeling and why. There is help out there.

Depression is usually undervalued by the "outside world", and more often people suffering from depression are afraid and ashamed of talking to someone else about their issues.As a psychologist I can say this is the main problem with depression, and the first step is to take courage and talk about it, talk to close people or to any consultant, but talk...I've gone through this, after many years I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and decided to study about it..to discover about mind processes and, maybe, to help people find their way out.Thank you for posting about this topic.

And, BTW, thank you also for posting these gorgeous shades of green. Green is the colour of Hope... :-)

Thank you for posting this. I think the med community is aware but responding often poorly - they toss pills at folks and don't follow closely enough after that. I am a lover of Revlon Color Stay Rainforest out of all the above lovely greens.

Thank you for posting this. I know a lot of people don't realize it is an illness. I myself suffer from an invisible illness (peripheral Neuropathy) and that caused me to have depression. I also get tired of people telling to to be positive, cheer up, at least you're alive or just telling me how I should feel. Just because we look ok on the outside doesn't mean were not sick. I hope that each day when you're depression is at its worse, that you will find some happiness =)

I've liked your blog for a while now, but now I love it. Thank you so much for taking the time for this important topic. I'm going to go change my nails to Wet n Wild's SaGreena the Teenage Witch now, in appreciation! Don't forget to be awesome!

It seems like as of late, more and more people I admire and respect on the internet have been sharing their struggles with depression and anxiety, both of which I've struggled with for a long time.

My respect for you has doubled today, thank you so much for taking the time to both explain and share your personal experiences with depression. I don't think enough people really understand what it can be like to struggle with depression each and every day, just because you can't see or touch it doesn't make it any less real.

I ended up putting on Revlon Rainforest yesterday on a whim, now I have a good reason I keep wearing greens this month. You really made my day with this post, helps me to remember others out there understand and I'm not alone.

Scrangie, Thank you for this, It means so much to all of US who suffer on a daily basis of a pain no one else around US can see. To know that so many of you understand what it really is to be depressed to the point that you just exist. That there really is no point to this or to that you just get on with no purpose, no pleasure, even no pain sometimes, just numb to everything around you. I applaud you saying what many of us are afraid to voice. There is no shame in our affliction and we don't need to come up with reasons for why we feel the way we do. So again, Thank you for being brave enough to say the things I couldn't say. I will now go wipe my tears and hold my head up high and be proud to be part of such a wonderful and loving group as all you fellow nail/beauty bloggers here.

Just the other day when I was at the pharmacy, I overheard a woman talking about the anti-depressants she was on. Apparently after her mother passed away, that's when she started taking the medication.

I felt bad for her, but in a way, I was proud of her for doing something about her depression. That's not easy. When you're depressed, you feel like doing nothing and that nothing matters. I wanted to go over and hug her. Too bad there's no such thing as instant cheer. I would want to spread it everywhere because we all deserve to be happy.

Thank you for that wonderful post. For the first time in my life I am experiencing depression and I am currently on medication and seeing a therapist regularly. In my case I was lucky enough we caught it on time and I know eventually I will no longer need medication any longer. But thats not the case for everyone. I just want to say that there is absolutely no shame in having a mental condition, on taking medications and certainly not in seeking help. The huge stigma that surrounds mental health makes me incredibly angry. We don't tell someone that has cancer "get over it" Mental illnesses are the same way. They impact your life sometimes to the point where you're not functional. Judging a person is never the solution.

thank you for this post! I suffer from depression for over 5 yrs now, there are highs and lows but it's always with me. I learned to cope with it, every really bad phase has a end, I accepted it as a part of me and can live my life as I want to most of the time.It's really important to write about it and be aware of the fact that it is a disease, a very common one.

And I have a huge collection of green polishes as it's my fav color and really cheers me up ;)love your blog and your wonderful nails!I wish you all the best, keep it bowling!

Seventeen years of struggling with something no one else can see. Or understand. If I may, I would like to copy your post and put it in a note on FB. It is one of the most eloquently written explanations I have seen. I'm going through a particularly bad phase now, and maybe it would help if more of my friends understood what it's like.

Thank you so much for posting this and for bringing awareness to a disease that still has so much stigma in the world even today! I have suffered from depression for most of my life, and I appreciate this post more than you know!

Thank you for this post! It's important to help people understand that depression is a disease that does not only affect the "weak", that depressive patients are not "pretending", and that they suffer more than people who have never had a depressive episode can even imagine.

Another important fact is that depression kills: depression is major risk factor of suicide. So if you know someone who might suffer from untreated depression, encourage them to seek medical help asap. Medication and therapy do help a lot.

Thank you a million times over for posting this. I have depression and anxiety and life is a struggle every day. Thank you for putting into words what I can't. Hugs to everyone affected by this horrible disease.

Thank you dear sweet polish addict. You know you have the best blog on the internet, I never google for a swatch without looking for scrangie. And I'm a newbie only 200 polishes in!, wet behind the ears LOL And now, now I only love you more. I share your mud, and I live in Alaska, this is the beginning of the dark time, when I have to hold on tight to myself and fight the demons. Nail polish is my new anchor, and you dear are my new glitter :) <3 <3 <3 <3

Scrangie, your blog was the first polish blog I came across. It's still the first one I look at for swatches etc. Polish aside, I want to send major thanks for making that post about Depression. As someone who also suffers from it, I have to say you did a wonderful job in wording things. Your paragraph about people saying "Snap out of it." etc especially hit home. People mean well but they just don't get it. I've been vocal about Depression in hopes of helping others and am proud to see that you're not afraid to hide your own struggles with this monster either. Hugs and kudos to you.

I know when you are deep in the mud, one NEVER wants to hear it, but happiness is a state of mind. I have had chronic depression and been Manic depressive(I hate the term Bi-polar for me, it just doesn't fit)for close to 15 years with 4 major suicide attempts. I am almost 28 now with a good 7 years clean of the meds, attempts and therapy, and you know what, I don't want to be depressed, nor let shit affect me anymore. While I suck at it, meditating, even if it takes the form of nail art, drawing/painting, knitting, or my ballet(Any exercise) helps me a ton. I hate to disagree with a previous comment, but meds are never the answer and will only ever be a short term solution to a much bigger issue. I have found with my time in the mud that great people in my life, journaling, my ridiculously stoopid pug and frenchie's faces, and therapy(cognitive retraining) are my best weapons. I can't say I no longer get sad, to feel is human, hence why I hate the meds, would I rather learn to deal with myself or feel nothing at all? I would rather still be me, even if it means I have my down times, but it is my choice to let the things I dwell on affect me like I do, even if when I am having an episode it doesn't seem like it. But I do have to remind myself that none of this will matter in a year or however long it takes and that if I surrender my control, I am doing just that. I appreciate your nail blog and taking time to acknowledge this demon. We are not alone and we never will be if we won't let it. I can't say any of my personal experiences are right for anyone else, but it is what has worked for me. I want to be happy, I will never spend 2 weeks in a mental hospital again and I will never give anyone the power to label me again. I am me, I feel crazy sometimes but my normal is being bouncy and bubbly most of the time and then occasionally hating everything, crying and wanting to crawl into a hole and hide(but not die, I know I deserve more than that!)And with positive self talk a lot of us can know we are worth more than the darkness, we don't have to let it win. XOXO Lots of love, light, happiness and strength!!!

I know when you are deep in the mud, one NEVER wants to hear it, but happiness is a state of mind. I have had chronic depression and been Manic depressive(I hate the term Bi-polar for me, it just doesn't fit)for close to 15 years with 4 major suicide attempts. I am almost 28 now with a good 7 years clean of the meds, attempts and therapy, and you know what, I don't want to be depressed, nor let shit affect me anymore. While I suck at it, meditating, even if it takes the form of nail art, drawing/painting, knitting, or my ballet(Any exercise) helps me a ton. I hate to disagree with a previous comment, but meds are never the answer and will only ever be a short term solution to a much bigger issue. I have found with my time in the mud that great people in my life, journaling, my ridiculously stoopid pug and frenchie's faces, and therapy(cognitive retraining) are my best weapons. I can't say I no longer get sad, to feel is human, hence why I hate the meds, would I rather learn to deal with myself or feel nothing at all? I would rather still be me, even if it means I have my down times, but it is my choice to let the things I dwell on affect me like I do, even if when I am having an episode it doesn't seem like it. But I do have to remind myself that none of this will matter in a year or however long it takes and that if I surrender my control, I am doing just that. I appreciate your nail blog and taking time to acknowledge this demon. We are not alone and we never will be if we won't let it. I can't say any of my personal experiences are right for anyone else, but it is what has worked for me. I want to be happy, I will never spend 2 weeks in a mental hospital again and I will never give anyone the power to label me again. I am me, I feel crazy sometimes but my normal is being bouncy and bubbly most of the time and then occasionally hating everything, crying and wanting to crawl into a hole and hide(but not die, I know I deserve more than that!)And with positive self talk a lot of us can know we are worth more than the darkness, we don't have to let it win. XOXO Lots of love, light, happiness and strength!!!

Scrangie,I was just lurking on your blog and came across this wonderful post. I suffer from dysthymia and social anxiety disorder for close to 10 years now with several bouts of mdd. The hardest part about it is few people seem to understand, most of my family doesn't understand and they chastise me because I'm not in college or have a job. They think I'm lazy, heh, not by choice. It's finally to the point where I can lead an almost normal life so that's a relief. I'm glad you post this every year, I'm thinking of doing something similar. (I was not aware until now that the color for depression is green). Reading your experience and all the comments touched my heart, it's reassuring to be reminded that I'm not alone in this. :)

Hi Scrangie. I just came across this post and it really hit home. I've been struggling with anxiety all my life, and that I've discovered is closely correlated with depression as well. I hope you are doing well as of late. When I'm struggling more, I don't blog as much, in fact I only wrote 6 pieces for the entire year of2012. I've been writing more again, so hopefully this is the beginning of my turnaround. It's been especially rough going lately, and I hope you're not going through it! xoxoxo, love your stuff. You're very talented, -Genevieve (Vieve's Verdict)