It's been a coupla weeks since I delved into my thoughts. Been missing meetings, too, but it's good to be back. I get a little kick out of them, even when I'm not blown away by them it still feels good. Been lax on the poetry, too, but I'm back on track w that, too. A hiatus isn't too bad a thing, if bad at all.

So what's new? Thanksgiving went well, saw the fam and avoided huge arguments. Guess what was on TV the second I walked in? Ferguson. My old man is an ex-officer, and my Mom has deep-rooted resentments towards people who commit crimes and use drugs (my b Ma), so you can guess what they think about the verdict: d-(-_-)-b

Me, personally... I think the whole situation is fucked. It's a cluster of fuckery. Grapes of misplaced wrath. We have a physically imposing 18 year old who stole some cigars, probs wanted to roll a fatty. Store owner did not accept this reality, and dialed 911. A fruckus ensued. Since the officer did not have a video recorder on him, we have to rely on his non-cross-examined words. Perhaps he was biased towards not going to jail. Who knows? I'll be legit and say I don't know too much about the actual situation... I did, via news, hear that the officer was in his car when he was assaulted by the youth. Can't remember his name, not about to look it up. If I'm in a car and I see an aggressive 6+foot angry youth coming at me I like to think I'd drive away and avoid confrontation. My Dad says officers aren't trained to run away. I understand that. I understand interference if someone is getting mugged. Or if they themselves are being attacked. I get it. The officer was attacked, did not leave the situation, and responded with lethal force. Why he didn't use a taser, I don't know. If he did not have one, then I wonder why? Putting myself in that situation, I can imagine I would be either terrified or angry, maybe both. I have no training in jiu-jitsu or any martial art, so I would not be used to responding to physical conflict with calm. I might end up killing somebody instead of doing the right thing. What's the right thing to do? Leave. If I can't? Pull a Ghandi or MLK and let myself get beaten. Yeah, yeah, my pride is gonna take a hit. or many. Fine, I accept that. Beat me to a pulp, I'd rather have that happening than me killing a man. I believe if I do the right thing, the universe will look out for me, I won't die, I'll heal, and I don't kill a misguided young man. A kid, really; males' brains don't fully mature until their mid-20s, the frontal "good-decision/think-before-you-rob" lobe isn't grown up yet. Poor kid was lizard-braining that situation, as did the poor officer. No one took flight, it was all fight and a death. If officers aren't trained to run away, they should be trained to deal with situations non-lethally. Maybe they are. I'm demanding, though. Maybe they have to work out, get in great conditioning, read the Tao, learn some MMA and study the life and warrior code of legendary samurai Miyamoto Musashi. Or at least Bruce Lee. That'd be pretty tight, if that's what goes on in police academies: The people we entrust to protect us learn to live a life of rigorous discipline calm and honor, develop a mindset of understanding and compassion, as well as various methods of ending a fight before even thinking about resorting to lethal force. I don't think that's the case, though.

:(

So now we've got a kid who fucked up and stole cigars, a store owner who fucked up and didn't Let It Be, and an officer who fucked up and killed the kid in self-defense. Fuck up is harsh. They made mistakes. So what happened next? A community makes a collective mistake. Buildings are burned. Businesses destroyed. People injured. People felt an injustice occurred, said Fuck It, and proceeded to commit injustices because fair is fair, right? Noooooo. There cannot be progress without getting out of that loop. Someone needs to accept the loss peacefully for peace to have fertile ground to grow from. Otherwise it's like two mirrors facing eachother: an eternity of the same shit, same old shit.

It's hard to convince masses of people to think differently. It is easier to change procedure, which would affect actions, and hopefully have an effect on consciousness. I'll clear things up: Require all officers to wear video recorders. Officers would know all their actions are being recorded, and the shady ones (there are shady people everywhere, so it goes folks) would be less likely to do shady things. Perhaps by going to work every day and knowing they can't be shady, they will come to realize shadiness is of no good and grow as people. Of course there would be ppl against this, for many reasons. To them I say: Suck it up. If you're a protector of my community accept the added responsibility of transparency, welcome it, wear that camera proudly knowing you're fostering trust in a world that needs it. And if someone bitches and isn't an officer, fuck you you little bitty. Don't complain, offer a better way, stimulate my mind and show me why this is a bad idea so we can collaborate and think of the best ways to help people trust the police. PS, you're only a bitty if all you do is bitty bitch. Be constructive and you're cool as fuck.

Now, I didn't bring all this up to my folks, it would surely have been met with resistance if I shared all my views, especially if I called them bitty bitches. They're not. They're cool as fuck. It's just that these are sensitive issues that don't always welcome real discourse, and I would rather spend my Thanksgiving stuffing my face with turkey than navigate an ideological minefield.

Thanksgiving was great, btw. My lil sis is going to raves now, so for x-mas I bought her some 5-htp pills to help w/those post-rave lows. I know some of you feel me :) She's way more responsible about her shit than my crazy ass ever was. If she's gonna party might as well be safely :D