April, 2013

There you have it, Nation. Like Dexy’s Midnight Runners before her, it appears that Ronda Rousey’s sophomore effort has failed to live up to her mainstream debut. It deeply saddens us to come to the revelation that her eye-popping debut on last year’s ESPN “Body Issue” will now serve as the ”Come On Eileen” of her career as an ESPN magazine cover girl, but what else could we have expected? The bar was set TOO HIGH, dammit; I personally anticipated nothing less than a giant Cobra, fireworks, paraplegics doing jazz hands, and a Suicide Girl with the words “Soy Bomb” painted on her chest swallowing a sword. But alas, we get elated Pikachu.

My obliterated (and completely unrealistic) expectations aside, it’s good to see “Rowdy” gracing the covers of ESPN: The Magazine again, especially on an issue as big as the mag’s 15th anniversary. Rousey will be featured alongside the likes of Kobe Bryant and Tom Brady when the magazine hits stands this Friday.

But for now, let’s pour (another) one out for Nude Ronda. She came into our lives as quickly as she went, but thanks to the power of print, her memory will forever remain in the annals of history. So it is with this song, Nude Ronda, that we bid you farewell…

Griffin announced the news of his World Series of Fighting signing this morning via twitter, saying that he hopes to compete on WSOF’s August card (date/venue TBA); Griffin’s opponent hasn’t been confirmed yet. Currently training at American Kickboxing Academy, the 29-year-old last competed in November 2012, scoring a unanimous decision over fellow UFC castoff Efrain Escudero in the headliner of Resurrection Fighting Alliance 4 in Las Vegas.

With near 1-million viewers per episode, the season two of TUF Brazil don’t had the success of the first and is airing on 23h50 of Sundays. The second season has 16 welterweights in only one weight class and Minotauro Nogueira divides the coaching with Fabricio Werdum.

A huge team rivalry, lots of injuries and some boring fights is almost a trademark in the season. It’s a huge news for the brazilian MMA, with the sport losing its only weekly program in the biggest TV channels of Brazil. Alongside TUF Brazil, Rede Globo also shows 3 UFCs per year (usually Anderson Silva and Jose Aldo ones) and other channels like Bandeirantes, Record and RedeTV aren’t into the MMA world yet.

As one would expect, the UFC has already taken to the interwebs to dispute these reports…

Far be it from us to accuse UFC matchmaker and noted “mean little f*cker” Joe Silva of phoning it in, but when rumors started to circulate that former middleweight title challenger and reborn welterweight Demian Maia would be facing former welterweight title challenger Josh Koscheck, we balked at the idea. Balked I tell you! Sure, Koscheck’s a seasoned veteran, perennial contender, and world-renowned motorboater, but in what universe does it make sense to have a guy on a two-fight losing skid fight a guy on a three-fight winning streak? This one, apparently.

Brazilian outlet NewsMMA was the first to report the matchup, which has since been confirmed by both fighters Sherdog pages.

Like we said, we were quick to dismiss the notion of this pairing…at first. But then we got to thinking: What possible motivation could the UFC have for booking this fight? And then, it all became so clear. The UFC is severing its ties with Josh Koscheck.

Look, we know Rin Nakai isn’t for everybody. As an Asian woman who’s built like Bolo Yeung, the undefeated Queen of Pancrase appeals to a very specific fetish. But she’s never been afraid of playing up her unique look, and over the last few months Rin has been recording short promo videos for Pancrase’s YouTube channel, some of which feature her pumping iron while wearing very little clothing. Or bathing. Or just sitting there drinking coffee. It’s weird stuff, to be sure — but if the goal is to promote her fights, I guess it’s better than nothing. We’ve picked out some of Rin Nakai’s more notable clips, which continue after the jump. Enjoy, if you’re the kind of person who enjoys that sort of thing.

It’s one of the strangest, most arbitrary double-standards of MMA’s Unified Rules — you get five minutes to recover from a strike to the groin, but if you can’t immediately continue after an eye-poke, the fight is over. Considering that the eyes are the balls of the face, it’s a shame that both sets of organs aren’t given equal protection under the law.

Gian Villante was the latest victim of the eye-poke technicality at UFC 159, when he lost a technical decision to Ovince St. Preux after getting gouged 33 seconds into the second round of their prelim scrap. As he explained afterwards, “I couldn’t see for a second. I just blinked my eye to try to get some fluid back in there. I would have been fine 30 seconds later. I thought I had five minutes. All I needed was 10 seconds. But they ended it…I don’t know what was I supposed to say. And if I did know what to say, I’m in the middle of a fight. I’m not going to think, ‘What is the exact rule on what to say when you get poked in the eye?’ I’m going to say exactly how I feel. I can’t see for this second, but give me a second, and I’ll be all right.”

Instead, referee Kevin Mulhall stopped the fight, and the judges scored the action up to that point, giving Villante a loss in his UFC debut. On the bright side, that disappointing moment might have been the last straw in the UFC’s tolerance for some of the sport’s most controversial rules. According to an MMAJunkie report, UFC Vice President of Regulatory Affairs Marc Ratner will make a formal request to change MMA’s eye-poke protocol at the Association of Boxing Commissions’ annual conference in late July. (The ABC is responsible for maintaining the Unified Rules of MMA, and providing uniform standards for MMA among the state and tribal athletic commissions.)

(Lyoto sees that you see what he did there, and will not let it affect his afternoon beverage of choice.)

Whenever one of my boxer-pilates-yogacise students approach me about dropping my bi-weekly class at the Y because it is “too intense” or “too racist” or “makes no Goddamn sense,” my answer is always the same: “Give it a fortnight, young grasshopper, then decide. Also, can I borrow some bus fare?” Because a lot can change in a couple weeks, simply put, and I wouldn’t want any of my students saying something they regretted and earning an eternal enemy in the process.

Unfortunately for Machida, Jones is going to spend the next 6 months recovering from the toecapitation he suffered against Chael Sonnen last weekend, and has stated that he would prefer to face Gustafsson when he returns from his layoff. And wouldn’t you know it, Machida has suddenly changed his tune on the whole Gustafsson issue, but only because Jones is injured, we assure you.

A video of Machida’s post-being-called-out callout of Gustafsson is after the jump.

But after taking a gander over the UFC 159 salaries, which were released by The New Jersey State Athletic Commission (via MMA-Manifesto) over the weekend, one begins to wonder just what the hell Bisping is so angry at these days. Either the “grudge match” angle is the only one he knows how to play or the $275,000 to show/$150,000 to win rate he is currently receiving is being stolen out from under him, because with that payday, you think he’d be all smiles.

Bisping’s $425k is just one of many head-scratchers that the UFC 159 salary list has to offer, so join us after the jump for a full rundown of the payout and a few totally unbiased observations.

Now that War Machine is all healed up, he’ll allegedly be making his Bellator debut on the promotion’s 2013 Summer Series premiere on Spike TV, assuming he doesn’t beat up another civilian, or sustain another training injury, or get cut again for simply expressing his honest thoughts. Machine hasn’t competed since his TKO win over Roger Huerta in November 2011, while Avena recently snapped a two-year winless streak by TKO’ing Lenny Lovato at Bellator 91 in February.

Can War Machine rebuild his career in the #2 MMA promotion? And what the hell kind of name is “Blas,” anyway?

Long before we knew the names Arianny and Brittney, or Chrissy and Vanessa, the UFC’s round-card holders were a revolving door of anonymous female talent, often clad in denim ass-shorts and bedazzled halter-tops. And dammit, we liked it that way.

This must-see highlight reel takes us through 20 years of UFC ring girl history, from the delightful trashiness of the ’90s to the uniformed polish of today. The only gripe I have is the conspicuous absence of Ali Sonoma. WTF, guys. You can’t whitewash history.