Seeing Is Believing...!

Saturday, March 09, 2019

By Robert Clements

With quite a few in the country disbelieving the armed forces for the valiant and heroic job they are doing, especially the air-force in the recent bombings, that I wasn’t too surprised when a friend, a retired officer came to me with a leaked document, “Seeing is believing!” he said gleefully.

“What does that mean?” I asked suspicious of his sudden cheerfulness.

“Our defence chiefs are fed up of the opposition not believing their success, and have decided on a few strategies to take away this disbelief, the first one being that we will be flying only trainer aircraft into enemy territory from now on!”

“Trainer aircraft are double seaters!” I said, “Why would you do that?”

“We will have leaders of the opposition fly with us so they will see for themselves whether we bombed a place or not…”

“Or how many terrorists were killed…” I said helpfully.

“And how many enemy aircraft were shot down!” said the retired officer.

‘That’s all very well,” I said uncertainly, “But what happens if an aircraft is shot down on enemy territory?”

“Are you complaining?”

“No, no!” I said brightly, “I doubt anybody will!”

“Though I’m sure the enemy will immediately return these co-passengers, as they have enough of their own at home causing trouble!”

“But they are not refuting your claim of how many people were killed or injured!” I said, “Why involve them?”

“We feel they can save a lot of money for the country!”

“That’s a noble thought!” I agreed, “How will you be using them?”

“By replacing the missiles with their whatsapp and social media trolls!” said the retired official, reading from the leaked document, “They, according to our research wing, with their caustic, cynical and cruel comments with the wholehearted support from higher ups, are more capable than missiles to see that any terrorist camp will be blown to smithereens. They are more deadly than any weapon we have in our combined arsenal!”

“Poor enemy!” I said, “I don’t think they stand a chance!”

“We leaked this document!” said the retired official, “And all along the LOC we are seeing white flags of surrender!”

“White flags!” I shouted, “So we have won?”

“Not from the Pak side!” whispered the retired official worriedly, “From our own side!”

“Who can they be?” I whispered. “Certainly not the armed forces, because it is your plan!”

“The ruling party!” said the retired officer looking troubled, “They said if all their media trolls were used outside the country, they would lose the elections..!”

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)You are likely to remain careful and watchful today, foretells Ganesha. And because you'll be invited to parties and other social events, your enthusiasm will remain buoyant. You will also strike the right balance between business and pleasure, says Ganesha.