Thursday, January 10, 2008

Flashback: Thirteen Retro Teen Girly Things

If you were a teen-age girl in the late 60's or early 70's you likely recognize these beauties...

Prissy the plush orange piggy bank was more than a piggy bank, he was a dust magnet.

Dudley Donkey sat on your bed -- tucked inside were your pajamas. He may have been a little juvenile in your teen years, but keeping him on your bed made your parents still think you were a little kid and so trusted you to have boys in your room. (When boys were in your room, Dudley was quickly tossed under the bed.)

When you weren't sobbing into your donkey pj holder that your boobs still hadn't come in, you consoled yourself crafting positive self-image dolls, like Uncommonly Easy Skinny Minnie. OK, so her real name is "Skinny Minnie" and the directions were "uncommonly easy", but your eyes were still filled with tears and you read it wrong, thus leading you into a confusing period of sexual promiscuity once your breasts did bud.

Ha Ha, grandma made you this crochet tic-tac-toe top!

Before the rick-rack shortage of '78 (also know as solid-hem Wednesday), you made snakes and dolls using nothing more than needle, thread, rick-rack, felt, and your imagination. Actually, little imagination was involved; there were patterns.

Mod Maud was another curler holder, purchased to replace Sleepy Sally who was destroyed in that lighter fight with your brother that first night mom and dad left you in charge while they went to couples bowling. (Can't they trust you for a few hours? They almost had to drop out of the league because of you!)

Knot Freddie The Hung up Owl "added to your hangups", consequently you hated that your mother made him. (In her defense, Knot Freddie was therapy recommended by her counselor as mom got off the anti-depressants, let her arm-pit hair grow, and adjusted to dad's new pants-wearing secretary.)

A Logan's Run paperback -- because that Michael York's sooooo dreamy!

Kookie Komber was another pj bag. He was given to you by your BFF, Lisa, who thought Kookie looked like a pubic hair patch while you were out shopping at Spencer's Gifts. More than an inside joke, Kookie also held your reefer. (Making Kookie, what? An inside toke?)

Greta the autograph cat was a gift from Grandma. You screamed, "I love it!" when you opened the gift because anything other than a tic-tac-toe top was an improvement.

A copy of Gods, Demons and Space Chariots by Eric Norman. The man wasn't gonna keep the truth from you!

BFF Jill's mom was cool enough to order the Secret of the Sea beauty boutique by Dorothy Gray for you (a whopping $6, then a membership, but Jill's mom did use a lot of makeup anyway). Plus the DG eau de toilet spray covered-up the pot smell... Was mom getting suspicious, or was the pot making you paranoid?

Ooooh, who's got a groovy auntie who crochets hot-pants?

At first you thought you were cool because your mom actually let you wear them (the therapy was working, even if you had owls all over the house). But the joke was on you because you had knots where knots should never, ever be.

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