Tuesday, May 24, 2011

So I was watching the Bachelorette last night. No, I have no qualms about my guilty pleasures. I also eat pasta topped with shredded cheese when I'm hungover and there's no mac and cheese in the house (I call it ghetto mac), I am through the current season of Greek, and I even have an assortment of headbands because of my obsession with Blair Waldorf. Anyway, I don't even like this Ashley chick because of her neurotic low self-esteem. Plus the flat belly and tiny petite stature makes me sick... with jealousy. Anyway, what promises to be "the most dramatic season in Bachelorette history" I'm convinced is a total set up.

In case you missed it (which I will scarcely believe you if you claim not to hate to love this show) the drama started before the guys even showed up. Apparently Miss Neurosis got a call from a former castmate "friend" (yeah, right, they all leave there BFF) that one of the guys who was cast for the show was only there to promote his business. First off, his name is Bentley, obviously he's a huge doucher. Secondly, didn't he watch any of the past seasons of the Bachelorette? It didn't work for Wes or Justin, why would it work for him? Thirdly, OF COURSE there was a snake planted in the grass. The producers know what they're doing here, and they know you're not going to watch unless there's some drama that's going to come to a head at some point.

So of course he shows up and she thinks he's gorgeous. I think he looks like a huge doucher. Then he tells her all about his ex-wife and his kid, completely omitting anything about his work. So now she's convinced that he's here for the right reason and proceeds to give him the final rose. Which may or may not have been her decision (remember the not stupid producers here? Pretty sure they get so many picks every week) I hope she's not serious when she's talking about him. I mean, come on, you've been warned. And of course he's not going to mention his work straight off. I mean, yeah, you've also won free airfare to Vegas but they don't tell you until you get there that it's a whole pitch for a timeshare.

So then at the end of the show they show a preview of the rest of the season of the show. The ginormous doucher is going to stay a long time based on the preview. And Miss Damaged Goods is going to get her heart broken again. And of course I'm going to watch the whole season and text with my mom while I watch. But it just brings me back to the same thing.

Why are women so deaf when it comes to relationships? Why do we ignore red flags and warning signals and even straight up blatant advice from the people who love us? Why do we put up with bad behavior and general douchiness just for a relationship? And further, why do we go for the bad boys? Is it the excitement? The drama? Can't we ever just be happy being treated well? Is it possible to be in a relationship with a so-called "good guy" and still have passion?

But thinking about the so-called "good guy" I have some conflicting feelings. I've met a TON of guys who think they are "good guys". They aren't. They delete phone numbers, ignore phone calls, disappear off the face of the earth whenever they feel like it. They believe that just because they haven't done anything to hurt you they're still "good guys". They don't realize that inaction is just as important as action when it comes to relationships.

At least with the bad boy you know what you're getting into.You know he's going to be elusive and probably dick you over at the end so you can prepare for it. You never get duped with a bad boy.

So my brother attempted to introduce one of his newly single friends to a room full of his law school buddies. Whose number did she go home with? Yeah, the bartender. She knows that he's probably a player and that it's nothing serious. Not all self proclaimed "good guys" announce when you first meet them that they smoke too much pot and have anger issues (and yes, one of the law school buddies actually did that).

So I know this blog is generally supposed to be about being reckless and losing weight and crap, not my general musings so I feel that maybe I should tie it in somehow. I think from now on I'm going to stop trying to find an actual good guy because I kind of feel like that really doesn't exist. Why not just have some fun and find a guy who's just good to me?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

So it seems I'm not very good at posting regularly. Maybe because work blocked blogger? Or at least the good bits? And I have so much to write about!

So I thought I might try to blog from my phone. Not so much. Maybe I need an iPhone or something? IDK we'll try to just do it from home. And the whole complication of adding alcohol to the mix might make things more interesting. More confusing maybe, but definitely more interesting.

So I figured since I was losing weight (well, losing and then putting it back on and then losing it again) online maybe I should try dating online. And since I'm not quite sold on the idea I decided to go free and bottom of the barrel. Yeah, you can figure it out on your own. Maybe my profile sucks. Maybe it's that I don't care. Maybe my profile sucks because I don't care. Who knows. I feel like maybe all online dating profiles should be written by your ex, or at least your friends. I have no idea how to objectively describe myself, but I think that's ok because I'm pretty sure the porn addict who showers once a week isn't letting that secret go in his profile either.

Well, anyway, I did decide to meet up with someone tonight. Now I may be superficial, but should I try to work through that or should I just accept that for what I am and move on? Sometimes I try but then, maybe, I realize that maybe I'm not being quite superficial and it's just my instincts making excuses for why I'm not into someone. Like, ok, I'm not going to go out with a 5'6" guy. Ever. I'm 5'9" for Christ's sake. But I might be willing to date a 5'10" guy. Unless its a 5'10" guy who's totally into himself and cheap. Then my subconscious might make the excuse that he's too short because it can't come up with the exact reason why I shouldn't go out with this guy. And people think I'm being silly but really I'm just listening to my gut instinct and the only way my stupid conscious can reason it is "too short!!!!" Who knows. And seriously, when you are dating everyone and their mother wants to know why you aren't going out with someone again. Sometimes it's just easier to say they're just too short rather than trying to explain your guts instincts and face opposition.

Now at the same time I feel like I can be quite picky because I am seriously quite superior to other women my age. I'm smart, I can be loyal, I'm honest, and I can cook the shit out of some fucking food. Oh, and I say I'm single because I actually am. I think that puts me light years ahead of most single women my age. Add on the fact that I know that a light year is a measure of distance rather than time and it's quite unbelievable how awesome I am. Now I know, I could stand to lose 30 pounds but that's why weight watchers was invented. I don't see a comparable program for increasing intellect. Someone should really do it. Snooki could be the spokesperson.

So what, keep my pickiness and deal? Lower my standards so be disappointed? Is it wrong to hear a guy say "yes, separate checks" and then immediately pick up the cell to change his display name to "Do Not Answer"? When does it stop being I'm just being me and start being I'm being superficial/silly/defensive?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

I haven't posted since January?! Well, let's be honest, I hadn't been trying all that hard to losing the pounds. And I wasn't being all that reckless either . . .

. . . unless you count derby. Even though I'm an official and not yet a skater, it has still be quite out of my comfort zone to put myself out there. I had my picture taken for the website this weekend and I'm so worried that I'll hate them when I see them. I'm just so heavy right now. But I could have declined to have my picture taken. I had a good excuse to get out of it and instead, I went out of my way to make sure that picture got taken.

For weight loss, I decided to go ahead and start weight watchers. I'm not going to meetings, but a friend of mine got me a point calculator and let me borrow her starter materials for awhile. I've been doing this for almost two weeks. In the first week I lost 6 pounds. I've had a few eating set backs this week, but I've managed to stay within my points range, so I'm hopeful for another loss. I'll be weighing myself every Wednesday. I've set up a system of rewards for myself (including lots of mani/pedis because I can get them SOOOO cheaply from the students in the cosmo department at work). My cousin is getting married in 6 weeks. I'm hoping to lose a good chunk of weight before then.

I had a rather weight loss motivating experience at work (although not really in a good way). On my desk is a picture of my husband and I from almost 7 years ago. I was about 70-80lbs lighter at the time. Anyway, the IT guy in my building came into my office to upgrade some software on my computer. He saw the picture and said, "Is that your sister?" because he clearly recognized that it looked like me, but assumed that it wasn't me. Ouch.