Status of the Family in Islam(corrected copy)

Question: What does Islam teach about the family and the roles of men, women and Children?

Answer: Praise be to Allah.

Before we throw light about the role of Islam in organizing and protecting the family, we should first know what the situation of the family before Islam, and what it is in the West in modern times.

Before Islam, the family was based on mistreatment and oppression. All affairs were controlled only by men or in other words, the males, and women and girls were oppressed and humiliated. An example of that is that; if a man dies and left behind a wife, his son from another wife had the right to marry her and control her life, or to prevent her from getting married. Men were the only ones who could inherit; women and children had no share. They considered women, whether mothers, daughters or sisters, as a source of shame, because they could be taken as prisoners, thus bringing shame upon the family. Hence a man would bury his infant daughter alive, as is referred to in the Qur’an, where Allah says:

{And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! * He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonor or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision}. (Qur'an16:58).

The family in the broader sense, i.e., the tribe, was based on supporting one another in all things, even in wrongdoing.

When Islam came, it get rid-of all that and established justice, giving each person his or her rights, even nursing infants, and even the miscarried fetus is respected and prayed upon (i.e., given a proper funeral).

When you examine the family in the West today you will find that families are disintegrated and the parents cannot control their children, whether intellectually or morally. The son has the right to go wherever he wants and do whatever he wants; the daughter has the right to sit with whoever she wants and sleep with whoever she wants, all in the name of freedom and rights. And what is the result? Broken families, children born outside marriage, (elderly) mothers and fathers who are not looked after. As some wise men have said, if you want to know the true nature of these people, go to the prisons and the hospitals and seniors’ homes. Children do not remember their parents except on holidays and special occasions.

The point is that non-Muslims families are in disarray. When Islam came, it paid a great attention to the establishment of strong families and protecting them from things that could harm them, and preserving the family ties whilst giving each member of the family an important role in life.

Islam honored women, whether as mothers, daughters or sisters. It honored women as mothers as was narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that:

[A man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said:O Messenger of Allah, who among people is most deserving of my good company? He said: “Your mother.” He asked, Then who? He said: “Your mother.” He asked, Then who? He said: “Your mother.” He asked, Then who? He said: “Then your father"]. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)

Islam honored women as daughters as it was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

[Whoever has three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters, and takes good care of them and fears Allah with regard to them, will enter Paradise]. (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, 2/190)

And Islam honored women as wives. It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

[خيركم خيركم لأهله وأنا خيركم لأهلي].

[The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives]. (Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 3895).

Islam gave women their rights of inheritance and other rights. It gave women rights like those of men in many affairs. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

[النساء شقائق الرجال].

[Women are the twin halves of men]. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan, 236, from the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 216).

Islam encourages men to treat their wives well, and gives women the freedom to choose their husbands; it gives women a big portion of the responsibilities for raising the children.

Islam gives fathers and mothers a great deal of responsibilities for raising their children. It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Umar heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say:

[Each of you has responsibilities and is questionable for his responsibilities. The leader has responsibilities and is questionable for his responsibilities. The man is responsible for his family and he is questionable for his responsibilities. The woman is responsible for her husband’s household and is questionable for her responsibilities. The servant is responsible for his master’s wealth and is questionable for his responsibilities]. He said: "I heard this from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him". (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 853; Muslim, 1829).

Islam paid a great deal of attention to instill the principles of respect for fathers and mothers, taking care of them and obeying their commands until death. Allah says:

{And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour}. Qur'an17:23.

Islam protects the honor, chastity, purity and lineage of the family, so it encourages marriage and forbids free mixing of men and women.

Islam gives each family member an important role to play. So fathers and mothers take care of the children and give them an Islamic upbringing; children are to listen and obey, and respect the rights of fathers and mothers, on the basis of love and respect. Even our enemies are witnesses to the strength of family ties among the Muslims.