Where’s Roger?

There are a couple of things you should know about me before we go any further (farther? I always have trouble with those two words). First, I’m a diehard Boston Red Sox fan and second, I have a devious mind.

Every morning, the first thing I do is tune into Sports Center on ESPN then as I’m watching, I log onto the Internet and head over to AOL’s MLB FanHouse so I can read what the bloggers/commenters there are saying about what’s going on around the league. Yesterday, Matt Watson, one of the bloggers, posted this, “Note to Roger Clemens: Call Joe Torre.” Being a Red Sox fan, that one caught my eye, and after I read the post, it made my heart–and my sinister mind–leap. My heart because I don’t like Roger Clemens or the fact that New York bent over backwards to sign him and he, at least in my opinion, forced them into it. My mind because I find that as I get older, one of my biggest thrills in life is writing about murdering someone–I told you I wasn’t a ‘people person’ and while I would never literally take another person’s life, I find it oddly satisfying to write about it.

Okay, back to Mr. Watson’s post, it seems Roger Clemens is missing in action and Joe Torre, NY’s general manager, is trying to get in touch with him. Mr. Torre, not being able to find him in the clubhouse or reach him by phone, had to send an email to his star pitcher. As of the time of the posting, Torre hadn’t received a reply. Now, I don’t know how true this is, especially given the fact that part of the Clemens deal was he wouldn’t be expected to show up on the days he wasn’t pitching, but I immediately started thinking: what if a Red Sox player put out a contract on Roger Clemens? Just, you know, to make him go away. Permanently.

There are a few Red Sox players who I can seeing doing this. No, I’m not going to name names, but if you’re a Boston fan, you know it’s true. We have some, er, strange players on our team. And God knows some of the fans cross over the line of insanity at times. So, could it happen and if it did, who would the investigating detectives look at? I have to say, their list of suspects would be a long one–and I, quite possibly, have just added my name to that list. Uh-oh!

If I hadn’t just finished a novella, Irreverent Angel, the second book in my Apprentice Angel series (my apologies for the shameless plug!), which deals with a fictional Red Sox pitcher who is thinking about taking steroids to get his arm back, I might actually write the story. I think it would be great fun! Alas, for now, I need to concentrate on polishing this manuscript, and writing the dreaded synopsis and query letter. A fate, well, maybe not worse than death, but one that ranks right up there on my list.

Plotting someone’s death–just one of the many joys of writing for me.

Update: As I read through this after posting, I realized I probably should give you the URL for Matt Watson’s highly entertaining (at least for me) post. Or is that copyright infringement? Arrgh! Don’t have a clue, but I’m going to risk it.