Looney Tunes

Speaking outside court, AFL CEO Elmer Fudd said he was pleased to have been granted bail on the charge of causing unnecessary criminal damage to the game.

“I’ll get that wascally wabbit,” Mr Fudd said. “I’ll bwast him with both bawwels of my bwunderbuss if I hear him tanking in my toiwet again.”

Mr Fudd said he was pleased that the court had accepted his plea of diminished capacity. Mr Fudd told the court that he had stayed late at the office to keep on top of AFL business. He claimed that he had drunk a dozen Red Bulls to stay alert, but only had the one Stilnox when he needed to get some sleep on the office couch.

“I woke suddenwy when I heard that wascally Demon tanking in my toiwet, so I let him have it with both bawwels,” Mr Fudd said.

Mr Fudd said he had offered full compensation to the AFL for “the damage I may have inadvertentwy caused to the porcewain. I’ll be taking a wong west, but don’t wowwy the game will be in good hands.”

Acting CEO Yosemite Sam McLachlan said he was pleased to stand in while the Commission considered the game’s long term management.

Taking a more conciliatory approach to public relations, Mr McLachlan asked if “any one-a-you lily-livered, bow-legged varmints care to slap leather with me?”

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