Dominic is a journalist, photographer and 'Yr Wonkette morning person! He lives in Chicago, drinks coffee, and screams about technology. You can usually find him in a crappy bar talking to weirdos, or lying in a gutter taking pictures.

There’s nothing like staring into the abyss with a nice cup a joe in yer mitt.

dslindc

Ew, Monday.

Celtic_Gnome

Stormy Monday (at least here).

Hobbes’ Evil Twin

It would be completely irresponsible not to speculate wildly about all of Sean Hannity’s sexual fetishes. I’m particularly grossed out by his proclivity for donkey dong, which I just heard about on the internet (here).

Nounverb911

I read on the internets that hannity liked to parade in front of Roger Ailes wearing J Edgar Hoover’s dresses.

While it’s not in the official rules, we don’t do “Ann Coulter is a dude” jokes here, because they’re insulting to trans people. The entire premise of the joke is that there’s something wrong or shameful about being trans, and that is not OK here.

Seriously, you’ve been here long enough to know better.

— Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

Celtic_Gnome

People are saying…

Bill D. Burger

And in the HereWeGoAgain category:

[Cohn: ‘We’re convinced we’ve got the votes’ on Obamacare repeal bill
By LOUIS NELSON 05/01/17 08:07 AM EDT
White House National Economic Council Director Gary Cohn said Monday that he and other members of President Donald Trump’s administration are “convinced we’ve got the votes” in Congress to pass legislation to repeal and replace Obamacare this week.

A bill undoing former President Barack Obama’s signature healthcare legislation would be a major victory for Trump, made sweeter perhaps because a previous attempt at repeal and replace failed to pass even the Republican-controlled House last March.

“Do we have the votes for healthcare? I think we do. This is going be a great week,” Cohn said on “CBS This Morning,” which was broadcast live on Monday from the White House’s East Room. “We’re going to get health care down to the floor of the house. We’re convinced we’ve got the votes and we’re going to keep moving on with our agenda.”]

Not gonna happen.
The FreeDumb Caucus wants the whole thing thrown out and the Tuesday folks have to keep much of it or will be tossed out.

Bill D. Burger

There’s a LOT of rumbling going on right now. They are mightily trying to offer anything to peel off Tuesday folk. The Yin & Yang that doomed the two prior attempts, one hopes, will continue. But I don’t use absolutes one way or the other when referencing the depths to which the Repukes will sink in this effort and the potential outcome.

CogitoErgoBibo

Freedumb Caucus is supporting it as of now. They admit they can’t repeal, so they’re fidgeting around the edges. My jerkwad of a representative is supporting Zombie Trumpcare and is a Caucus member. He’s also claiming pre-existing conditions are covered in it. Which we all know is bullshit. But they’re supporting this as of right now.

Riley Whodat Venable

Good luck getting it through the Senate; IF it gets through the House.

After this is all over, and assuming we survive, I hope someone introduces a bill to replace all images of Trump in official documents, portraits, etc with an image of Jean Luc Picard face palming.

Red Bird Ω

Lord help us. This is what the greatest country in the world has come to.

Bill D. Burger

“Too bad I wasn’t there. Only I could have worked out a deal. I would have done a deal with the North. I would have done a deal with the South. Bingo, bango__I would have won. Believe me. You can believe me.”

Msgr_MΩment

Sorry, but I’ma go with Zachary Taylor. You know, the one whose party no longer existed eight years after he was elected.

baconzgood

I hope this week is less full of people that need cock punched than last week.

Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert

That is part of our weekly prayer at church:

O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us
through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole
human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which
infect our hearts; fill this week with less people that need cock punched than last week; break down the walls that separate us;
unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and
confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in
your good time, all nations and races may serve you in
harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ
our Lord. Amen.

baconzgood

Dear Lord in Heaven.

Help me not to push this person in front of the trolley.

Shanzgood

It might be okay if it’s just the tea trolley.

Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert

Confession of sins:
Almighty and most merciful Father,
we have erred and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep,
we have followed too much the devices and desires of our
own hearts,
we have offended against thy holy laws,we have left unpunched those Nazis which we ought to
have punched,
and when too far away we have not stepped close so we could punch that Nazi
But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us,
spare thou those who confess their faults,
restore thou those who are penitent,
according to thy promises declared unto mankind
in Christ Jesus our Lord;
and grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake,
that we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life,
to the glory of thy holy Name. Amen.

baconzgood

Give me the strength and fortitude that my punch is true and that the cock is hit.

Crystalclear12

Hope springs eternal.

GoutMachine

I learned a fun new word this weekend, courtesy of Thrillist: “Backpfeifengesicht”
(German) A face that badly needs punching.

I guess Ted Cruz has been to Germany.

baconzgood

Leave it to the Germans. They have a phrase for everything.

The Wanderer

“I don’t blame you, Baldrick. The German reputation for savagery is well-founded. Their operas can last for three or four days, and they have no word for ‘fluffy.'”
– Blackadder Goes Forth (written from memory)

Another day. Another futile call to my Freedumb Caucus representative telling him to oppose Zombie Trumpcare. Get those calls in motion, brothers and sisters. The only high-risk pool anyone should be near is located at that shady hotel on the edge of town. Even then, do not recommend.

If you miss Obamason, you will know that he is gone
You can hear the dog whistle a hundred days,
A hundred days, a hundred days, a hundred days, a hundred days,
You can hear the dog whistle a hundred days.

Lord I’m one, Lord I’m two, Lord I’m three, Lord I’m four,
Lord I’m 4 years from him gone.
From him gone, from him gone, from him gone, from him gone
Lord I’m four long years ’til he’s gone.

Not a shirt on my back, not a penny to my name
Republicans are to blame
They’re to blame, they’re to blame they’re to blame,
Lord they are the ones that you can blame.

If you miss Obamason, you will know that he is gone
You can hear the dog whistle a hundred days,
A hundred days, a hundred days, a hundred days, a hundred days,
You can hear the dog whistle a hundred days.

Yes labor’s a wreck (corbyn’s a disaster even if i say so on May Day), UKIP’s imploding (weirdly considering brexit) and lib dems are coming back from the wilderness (though likely to make some gains). Tories are even supposed to make inroads in SCOTLAND.

The world sucks right now.

Résistance Land Shark Ω

I try to follow some of the politics here in the UK.

UKIP sunds like a one trick pony (Brexit) and Farage is a detriment to that party. And he’s Donnie Dumbass’ BFF.

Labor looks like it’s a mess … all the leadership seems to have beat feet. They should be positioned as the foil to May and her Tory hoards.

I’m not sure what the platform of the LibDems is as compared to Labor. That has never been clear to me.

I find it hilarious and pathetic at the same time that Donald Trump appointed all these Wall Street insiders to his cabinet and they still act like they have absolutely no clue how economics work. It also says a lot about the people on Wall Street in the first place.

FlemmishSpy

Can I have my bonus now?

The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

“Buy!!! Sell!!!!”

See how easy it is?

Chadwells

Not even all Wall Streeters…Mnuchin is a Hollywood studio money douche bag. To me…that’s even more frightening.

Carpe Vagenda

You’d think growing up filthy rich because your daddy was one of the bloated plutocrats running Goldman Sachs would have made him at least vaguely familiar.

Chadwells

I mean he did with at Goldman for like 20 years….but he’s been in LA for the last decade or so, right? So I guess he still can be categorized as a Wall Street jerkoff.

bupkus231

Economics ( particularly macroeconomics ) and finance really have very little to do with each other. There’s an intersect, but it’s really only a very small part of either field….

That’s why so many economists are academics – and so few are multimillionaires.

Mr. Gwinn,
Thank you as always, but you forgot to mention that this is International Workers Day. I will be headed to the annual Socialist Crawfish Boil later today.
Remember, after enough beer everyone is a Wobblie.

Lance Thrustwell

Socialist crawfish are the tastiest. Collectively delicious!

La forza del resistino

And they come out in a nice Red hue.

Riley Whodat Venable

Big fat Red ones!

Grumpy Twat

Working on the beer, now. I’ll be wobbly in a bit.

Carpe Vagenda

Aw. We went to Monterey for the otters on our honeymoon. The Steinbeck Spirit of Monterey Wax Museum diorama of whores and cannery workers at a bear baiting was lagniappe.

Brianna Wu is a fucking idiot.

Mpeg

Wax Museum diorama of whores and cannery workers at a bear baiting

L-O-L.
I and SayItWithWookies got to see the otters both at the Aquarium last September and again while strolling the bay. Didn’t budget enough time for much of Cannery Row but saw the Steinbeck statue. I adore his writing; he turns up his nose at it; then we saw a whale in the distance and forgot to disagree..

Carpe Vagenda

I just think it’s really funny that he was shunned back in the day by the lace curtain society in Monterey for writing about A Certain Element and now it’s a manicured resort town with grotty people dioramas.

MizzMazz

Were you looking through my window? Seriously though, I love our aquarium. Glad you saw a whale; it just makes everything better.

Carpe Vagenda

Your whole city is gorgeous. I just really, really enjoy the existence of that museum :)

Also, there are some hilarious hobo pelicans by the docks.

MizzMazz

Another funny thing about Steinbeck, he hated Salinas, but they erected a center named after him to honor his works. I’m rather amazed the wax museum is still there. Another thing to love about the Aquarium is Star Trek 4 was filmed there, and no, you couldn’t get close. I tried. I live in the poor area now – us poors don’t want to sully the view of the riches, now do we?

Erala Contratista

The Salinas public library system had to close some years ago due to no $$$. Not sure if it got back into business.

MizzMazz

It did, but I remember those days, as I worked and lived near Salinas, and relied on the Library, as many people do. I don’t trust a town that shuts down its Library. as far as I know it is still up and running.

Carpe Vagenda

The thing that struck me the most was that I found I couldn’t really afford birds of paradise or calla lilies for my wedding, but everyone in the Monterey area had the birds of paradise in their yards, and there were calla lilies in the ditches by the parking lot by the beach.

MizzMazz

True fact: we had calla lilies growing over our septic tank in the back yard.

A ruthless dictator in Syria kills dozens of innocent citizens with gas and it’s time to call in the cruise missiles. A ruthless dictator in the the Phillipines kills thousands of possibly innocent citizens the old fashioned way with bullets and machetes and it’s time to call and make a dinner invitation. Fuck this guy.

Steve Martin said Nixon jokes were old in 1977.
Bill Clinton jokes are still supposedly funny to this day.

Get this, I do not.

jesuswasablack

So you can be the biggest asshole hypocrite in the world but if your a tranny you can’t get made fun of?

Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

I think there is plenty of material to work with vis-à-vis Ms. Coulter without reaching for that particular range. Plus we already had this conversation more than once re: Chris Christie and fat jokes as well.

Magyar Has Had It With Trump

Trig Palin jokes also, too

MynameisBlarney

Seriously?

MynameisBlarney

That is really fucking offensive.
Thanks for running off my friend, asshole.

HazooToo

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you know how many people on this site you just offended? All of them extremely well loved by this community. Where do you get off, saying that being transgender is something to be mocked?

Not to mention Ann C is NOT transgender and that “joke” is sexist (because a real woman could not possibly be that way!), bigoted (hullo, no, you do not mock minority groups, punching down is for righties) AND not funny.
So, quadruple whammy really

HazooToo

Exactly. It’s not a fucking joke. It’s a fighting insult, and if it’s a fight they want, they’re gonna fucking get it.

Some people don’t get it yet. all the railing about “PCisms! UR RUIN OUR COUNTRY FORCIN MEH TO NOT OFFEND FOLKS!!!” Doth come from the leftist halls as well.
Baby steps; sooner or later they will get there is a difference between purposefully punching down, and actual humor.
I will say that for lefties, I find that some of the time, give or take, it seems actual ignorance, and once they learn better, they get it more.

HazooToo

Maher for example. “PC nonsense” is not nonsense. It’s not being a fucking asshole.

No, you don’t make fun of transgender people for being who they are, and you certainly don’t make fun of cis people by calling them transgendered (or derogative terms for that) as if being transgendered were somehow worthy of ridicule. Only assholes do that. Now you know. Do better.

Yr. Gma

Can I make fun of you for not knowing the difference between “your” and “you’re”?

doktorzoom

Not seeing what you’re replying to, but comment was flagged for use of “tranny” I assume. Making fun of assholes and hypocrites is fine. And if they’re trans, then focus on their assholery and hypocrisy, just as when Ben Carson says something idiotic, we call him A Idiot instead of using racial slurs. That’s not really so hard to understand, is it?

He’s going to be very busy threatening well over over half the country.

Good luck with that Donny.

La forza del resistino

I tried to get the day off for our May Day march, but my boss said it was against company policy.

snark-lurker

yuh gotta keep that job! (no snark)

eyelashviper

Good news for Miami, Florida, the USA, and the world…Ros-Lehtinen headed out to pasture, where she can chew her cud and spend ALL her time celebrating that Fidel is now dead. Her entire term in the House was spent railing against Cuba, and ignoring the fact that she lived in the US, and was supposed to look after issues that mattered to all citizens here.

Dems have a great shot at picking up a House seat and adding a modicum of sanity to Congress.

The Wanderer

It’ll be nice, but the knives are out up in Tallahassee. (p)Rick Scott and his goons are not going to let her seat go blue.

eyelashviper

Miami pays little attention to Tallahassee, and the county is becoming more blue, due to the die off of old Batista hold outs, and younger Latinos taking over the political system.

The Wanderer

Excellent.

Magyar Has Had It With Trump

Dammit. I should have scrolled down a smidge

janecita

Also kissing up to Israel, she loves Netanyahu.

Carpe Vagenda

She just concentrated on citizens who grew sugar and made rum out of it.

eyelashviper

The Fanjuls, true oligarchs in the Batista style…but here they got lots of guvmint $$$ to enrich them even more.

Magyar Has Had It With Trump

It’ll be interesting to see if the Cuban vote stays reliably R with the downfall of Fidel. I read somewhere that the youngs are not towing the line. Major shift for FL representation.

eyelashviper

It has already changed, quite a bit, and Cubans are no longer the only Latino group in South Florida, and they no longer are devoted to the Goper party, and the “commie” threat is long gone.
Miami Dade has a big population of Mexican and Central American immigrants, as well as Puerto Ricans and South Americans…

SeeTrain65

Tell her to take any Diaz-Balarts with her.

The Wanderer

All the Diaz-Balarts!

eyelashviper

Lincoln is long gone, and he was worse than she was.
Jose is a journalist, and is actually pretty good. He started out in Miami, and actually had the audacity to question the anti-Castro loonies, a perilous task.

SeeTrain65

And Mario? Feh.

eyelashviper

Not quite as bad as Lincoln, but a jerkwad.
Jose is the black sheep of that vile family.

cmd resistor

I can’t remember the exact details but somehow those guys are related to Castro, like nephews through his first wife?

SeeTrain65

From Wikipedia on Mario:

“Díaz-Balart was born in 1961 in Fort Lauderdale, to Cuban parents, the late Cuban politician Rafael Díaz-Balart, and his wife, Hilda Caballero Brunet. His aunt, Mirta Díaz-Balart, was the first wife of Fidel Castro. Her son, and his cousin, is Fidel Ángel “Fidelito” Castro Díaz-Balart. His uncle is the Cuban-Spanish painter, Waldo Díaz-Balart. His brother, Lincoln Díaz-Balart, represented Florida’s 21st District from 1993 to 2011. He has two other brothers, José Díaz-Balart, a journalist, and Rafael Díaz-Balart, a banker.”

cmd resistor

I have never had a kind word to say about her until recently when she came out and said she would not vote for the stupid Trumpcare bill because it would hurt her constituents. Apparently there are quite a few dems in her district.

Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

Enough that as soon as her resignation hit the tracking services flipped her seat from “likely R” to “leans D” for 2018.

eyelashviper

She began to change her tune a bit, when she got real opposition in elections, and once Castro died, she no longer had a boogey man to rail against, and had to deal with some real issues.
There is no longer a Gop lock on the Cuban vote in South Florida.

cmd resistor

I remember some of the younger Cubans coming out for Obama, I think it was 2008. They don’t have that same anti-Castro foaming at the mouth thing their parents did.

VirginiaLady

Baby otters are pure. Spend a few minutes with them only and no crazy making humans.

La forza del resistino

You mean w/o Don Jr and Eric lurking in the weeds sighting their scopes?

I am not that bad. I brought a bag full of stuffies over to celebrate Lizzie’s birthday , and she loved all over spacepig! I wasn’t sure that I was going to get spacepig back.

Mpeg

Otters are a lot of things but upon becoming adolescent you might oughta know what makes them uniquely disqualified for “pure’ in the animal kingdom.
(Might as well hear it here and not from some troll.. I first read about it in a short story by Lynn Luria-Sukenik)http://www.theevolvingplanet.com/sea-otters-assholes/

VirginiaLady

I prolly already know. Adults can be very cruel. But I won’t let you harsh ma baby otter mellow!!

I think this is her way of protecting herself. She needs to do what works for her. I hope she’ll be back, but I certainly understand why she felt the need to do something definitive in the face of bigotry.

HazooToo

What the fuck?!

Ω cynmac will never surrender

Today?

MynameisBlarney

Yup

jesterpunk

What the hell, its not hard to respect someone when they say something bothers them. What an asshole, I hope she comes back.

Suttree

I missed it, but I will protect Anna with all of my soul!

Yr. Gma

I block them when they make themselves known. There are some people on this site who just get on my last of the last nerves, so rather than engage with their nonsense, I have blocked them. I don’t think I’m missing out on anything.

SweetDeeKat

I enjoyed hearing about transportation department turd Pugliese who ordered all outgoing mail to be blocked, then forgot to lift the order. First google search result: “Pugliese.. made it clear he isn’t running from the fact that he was prosecuted and jailed for creating phony invoices to steal millions from his onetime real estate partner.”

Suttree

Step two, I have ordered my new health insurance cards.

James

Not nice for me to come to Wonkette and open the non-comments to a flashing gif designed to trigger people’s epilepsy (like mine).

I was going to come enjoy the non-commenting, but now I’m going to have to go back to bed to nurse a migraine.

Sorry, James :hugs:
Edit: Don’t see any flashing gifs myself, but for the future; the arrow next to your sort by newest should give you a drop down where you can “hide all media” so things do not instantly open unless you want them to.

Yr. Gma

It was way back at the opening of the non-comments. It was a flashing coffee cup. Thanks for the heads-up, James. I will be careful to avoid flashing gifs in the future (though I don’t think I’ve ever done it.)

HazooToo

AGH! I rarely ever post gifs, but I will make sure they don’t flash when I do. I hope it goes away soon.

If you use firefox, you can disable all autoplay features. It makes .gif’s and streaming videos a little funky, but it also saves bandwith.

Magyar Has Had It With Trump

I know I have skirted the line (or sprinted over it) making stupid comments about people I despise. But TS/TG “jokes” are shit and need to be treated as such, especially when you get called out on it.

HazooToo

People can only learn from their mistakes when they’re willing to. Doesn’t look like THAT guy is willing to learn jack shit.

Suttree

Step three: I called the DMV and figured out what sort of shit I need to bring to get a new ID.

It is New Jersey and they have a stupid point system because of 9/11.
I hate the DMV!

jesterpunk

They make it really difficult for no real reason, the only thing I liked about living in NJ was the free inspections and not having to pump gas. Good luck.

Suttree

Thanks brother! Or sister?

jesterpunk

I am a middle aged guy.

Suttree

Me too also. I have better hair than my father though.

Jeffery Campbell

Little known fact: The NJ DMV is the model for Guantanamo.

Suttree

Every DMV in New Jersey has “guards” in uniform hustling you into lines. And they will throw you the fuck out if you do not obey their stupid commands.

Jeffery Campbell

Indeed and with good reason. On my very first trip to the NJ DMV to get a DL, I witnessed a fist fight between a person in line ahead of me and an employee who came over the participation to start the brawl. I turned and ran.

Suttree

It’s Jersey. Where can we not get into a fistfight?

Jeffery Campbell

Well, that’s a very good point. It’s certainly not the only one I’ve seen since I got here.

Latverian Diplomat

“Begging for undeserved extensions is what got me through college.”
— Paul Ryan

You guys i am beyond depressed about the ACA crap. I cannot believe this is still going on. It is so dispiriting.

And malicious.

Jeffery Campbell

Sea otter babby has slayed me with its precious cuteness.

Panika MCD

OT – in TX Sen. Fi. Committee learning about how TRICKLE DOWN WORKS! but it only works if you exempt yachts of $300 thousand or more…WE NEED TO NOT TAX $4 MILLION BOATS! or that’s just the dumbest thing I’ve heard all week and it’s only Monday.

BeachBum

Texas. Land of Steers and ………Greedy Republicans !

Panika MCD

think about the poor pitiful detailers and sound system installers you just put out of a job!

just kidding. it should be noted that the exemption is already law in FL, so they are truly the greedy ones. the same bill passed the TX Senate in 2015, but failed to go anywhere in the House because, thank goodness, no all Republicans are greedy. and we’re in a budget shortfall this session so I doubt it will even get that far this time.

in any case, it is Dead Bill Week in the Pink Dome where most of the bills if they are still in the committee in the chamber they originated in are pretty much dead so we get to hear ALL THE CRAZY this week. it’s gonna be fun.

Re the Budget Agreement. To a large extent we did kick the can down the road. I have tried to understand the big points of it from fake news, and if true, I think the Dems got more out of it than the GOP, and way more out of it than what Trump said he was gonna do. Yes, there was a lot of compromise, but Trumps main issues were stopped cold. This may even be a Dem victory considering the Congress and WH are GOP controlled. I say great job to Nancy and Chuck !

jesterpunk

Dems got funding for planned parenthood, increased funding for science, partial reimbursement for Trump’s security at Mar-a-Lago and for Melon in NYC, and added a line that says Trump cant build his stupid wall. That is a win even if its a short term spending bill.

BeachBum

Rant of the Day. I don’t understand some people. If you have lived a while, you have had problems and challenges and huge mountains to climb to accomplish any thing or to just survive. If by some miracle your life has been so gawddammed perfect in EVERY possible way, then try and understand the rest of humankind’s condition and maybe have some empathy. Or at least don’t be a fuckingasshole. I’m done. For Today. Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll see.

So here’s my plan: Since Trump can’t get funding for his WALL, we should convince every Republican to mail him a brick.

Who’s in?

Nigel Poncewattle

Jesus — I’m 58. Not sure I can sit here and wish for these four years to be over with soon. I don’t have too many of these four year periods left. :-( This sucks.

David Chaillou

I’ve been reading the transcript of Trump’s interview on CBS. The fucking moron is basically saying that his job would be easier in a dictatorship, because all these democratic rules are “archaic”. Can you fucking believe it? When the fuck will the Senate do its job and put the fucking moron on trial for treason, for deliberately trying to subvert the Constitution?