Guess what time it is!

I saw a guy at Walmart trying to stack shelves and complaining that the top shelf was broken and he couldn't keep it up.

Now I get what they mean when they say somebody has a wrecked aisle dysfunction.

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I tried to teach my son how to skip stones across the water yesterday.

Now we're both banned from the swimming pool.

----------Finally, CNNABCNBCCBSMSNBCNTYWAPO proven right!

Trump photographed meeting corrupt officials who have extensive personal and financial ties to the Kremlin.

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Lesbians hate everything about men. That's why so many of them look, act and dress like men.

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When my son was little he really loved going to the beach. We'd bury him up to his neck in sand and he really got a kick out of it!

It was also great how his face just beamed when we came back for him after a day or two!

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I was looking for the exploding vests myself.

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Many famous musicians are gay. Freddie Mercury, Elton John, George Michael.

John Lennon wasn't. But he married Yoko Ono which is almost the same thing.

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The American flag on the moon has reportedly turned white due to radiation,

France is using this altered state of the flag to claim they've landed on the moon.

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What do we want?A cure for Alzheimer's!When do we want it?Chicken with rice!

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You were right, George.

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Gosh, good parenting has gotten pricey!

Do you realize how much it costs to take 3 kids out for margaritas these days?

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A vegan on Facebook said he'd bet that if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat.

I bet if he had to build his own computer he wouldn't whine on Facebook.

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What a time to be alive with all of the technological advancements!

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CNN: Anonymous sources say that the Democrat’s attempts to connect the dots leading to President Trump's impeachment have been thwarted by Trump's clandestine and totally illegal move to confiscate the dots and FedEx them to Putin in Russia.

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I saw a guy rubbing garlic and chickpeas on himself. I believe he's what's known as a hummusexual.

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I wanted to marry a beautiful, smart, rich woman.

Already had two out of three. Now I just need to get married one more time.

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I dare you!

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Michael Jackson had sex with kids.

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I saw a study that says one out of every ten people is gay.

That really weirded me out! I've had sex with exactly 10 people. That means one of those guys probably was gay!

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Peace be upon him!

_________________Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore it.-- Thomas Sowell