What is the Point of Some of This Star Wars Merchandising?

The most ingenious thing George Lucas ever did was take a pay cut for the first Star Wars movie in exchange for the merchandising rights. Forever.

Before Star Wars, toys based on movies weren't a huge deal. Sure, they'd slap Roy Rogers or Hopalong Cassidy on a lunchbox, but movie toys weren't where the money was.

Until Lucas. By deferring $300 thousand in salary, it's estimated that George has reaped his share of some $27 billion inStar Wars merchandise. Nowadays, the consideration of how many toys can be sold actually dictates how movies are made.

Some of it I totally get. When I was a kid, I wanted Star Wars action figures, X-Wings, toy blasters...all of it.

But take a look at some of these questionable tie-ins.

1.) Star Wars Oranges

What exactly is trying to be accomplished here? And, by whom? Is it the studio hoping someone who didn't know there was a new Star Wars movie coming out would get tipped off in the produce aisle? Or do the big citrus interests hope somebody will choose their fruit because it has a BB-8 label (which by the way is in no way a collectible or valuable)? What's going on here?

2.) Vader Apples

Does Darth Vader even eat apples? Or, does he hate them?

3.) Star Wars Water

How much does a bottler pay to Disney to try to sell their product that comes out of walls for free everywhere in America?

4.) Star Wars Mascara

Women, amIright?

5.) Yoda Grapes

Again with the fruit? Grapes are green. Yoda is green? Is that the tie in. Actually, Yoda's nards probably look just like those grapes.

6.) Star Wars Non-Dairy Creamer

Wait ... are you letting your kid drink coffee? Or just pick out which creamer you use?

7.) Star Wars Duct Tape

Actually, I'm going to say I'm OK with this one. In fact, I'm going to say duct tape is the perfect product to tie-in with Star Wars. After all, duct tape is just like the Force. It has a dark side and a light side. And, it binds the universe together. Off to Lowe's!