It's the Asshole of the Day!

Congratulations, coach Schwarts, you just won the Super Bo...
WHAT? This was just game five of the regular season?
And your team beat the perennial sad sack team of the NFL, the Detroit Lions?
And you ASKED your players to carry you off the field on their shoulders like you just fucking CONQUERED ROME?
And you're JUST A DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR now?
Wait, that last one isn't exactly true. You're not JUST A DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR. You're also...
AN ASSHOLE.