Entries tagged with “mud”.

Matthew McConaughey used to be cast as eye candy, a guy who’d remove his shirt and let his chest do the talking. Now, he may be the most interesting actor working the screens.

In recent years, McConaughey has built an incredible body of work by selecting interesting roles of complex characters. From The Lincoln Lawyer, to Killer Joe, to Mud, to Dallas Buyers Club to HBO’s True Detective, he has portrayed disturbed characters with pasts that make living in the present a challenge and facing the future a chore.

He acts completely with face, eyes, body posture and voice–– a rich baritone stewed in bourbon, cigarettes, Texas heat and filtered through regrets, lost bets and tortured existence. He makes every line he speaks a self-contained story, and milks the silences as he contemplates and reveals glimpses of a wounded soul.

Matthew McConaughey has become the real deal, an actor worth watching no matter what role he’s assuming because we know he will plumb depths of the human condition to explore and expose what it means to live.

BP is in a pickle. Since its latest muddy gambit, “Top Kill” didn’t work to stop the never ending oil leak in the Gulf, BP may have to resort to a secret weapon: employing the notorious Exxon Valdez.

The idea is to take the Valdez (which now operates under the name Dong Fang Ocean) and sink it over the oil leak. When the legendary ship lands on top of the gushing oil well, the tanker will accept the oil into its willing and spacious hull.

“It’s really a perfectly brilliant solution,” said a BP insider over crumpets and tea, “We’ll take the number two U.S. oil spill and use it to fix number one! It’s a case of one plus one equaling synergistic sums much greater than their natural product, which would be two, or thereabouts. My word, this tea is weak as a kitten. Chauncey, find the servant who prepared this abomination and fire said person post haste. I will not tolerate this affront to my palate and I cannot tolerate any mistakes! Someone must pay–– make it hurt, Chauncey, make it hurt!”

While BP acknowledges the Valdez solution is not a permanent fix, they do believe it is an idea that buys them some time to brainstorm some other ideas.

“Yes, we’ve talked fixes with mud, golf balls, garbage and ridiculously large corks,” said the BP insider, “and with the Valdez buying us some time, we may be able to keep experimenting until we find a jolly good solution.” With that, he took a nibble of his crumpet. “This crumpet is as stale as yesterday’s newspaper. Heads will roll, so help me God, heads will roll! Chauncey!”