I just got into a heated argument with one of my male friends who said he prefers lighter women after saying I looked like a shadow (he's dark btw.)

One of the points I made during the discussion is that this is the general opinion of black men:

"I prefer to date women of a lighter hue."

and compared it to a white exec at a large firm saying

"I prefer to hire men of a whiter hue."

Those two are comparable right? I'm not crazy, right? Or are the dynamics between dating and work that different? My point was trying to get them to understand that black men have a tendency to do to their women what white employers have done to them for so long, yet only see the issue when it hurts them.

Lol someone tell me I ain't crazy..

I know Drake said no new friends but imma need you reconsider that
in 2014. You got 3/4 of the year left boo to surround yourself with
better people. It ain't a wash yet.

I just got into a heated argument with one of my male friends who said he prefers lighter women after saying I looked like a shadow (he's dark btw.)

One of the points I made during the discussion is that this is the general opinion of black men:

"I prefer to date women of a lighter hue."

and compared it to a white exec at a large firm saying

"I prefer to hire men of a whiter hue."

Those two are comparable right? I'm not crazy, right? Or are the dynamics between dating and work that different? My point was trying to get them to understand that black men have a tendency to do to their women what white employers have done to them for so long, yet only see the issue when it hurts them.

Lol someone tell me I ain't crazy..

1) This guy is not 'your friend'. Why would you be okay with letting him talk to you like you are a fool? Learn to recognize who your real friends are early in life if you want to avoid your self-esteem being undermined/damaged. I would be DONE with that guy. :O

2) The AA community is extremely color struck - especially with dark men preferring light women. Every AA man is not like this no, but it's a big part of THE AA culture. Dark women get married every day sure .. but sometimes (just like women ‘settle’ for a guy that is not as financially put together as they would like) men 'settle' on a girl that's not their 'ideal' in terms of color/looks because they are not able to 'get' the kind of girl they would like to have. Again EVERY AA man is not like this .... but this attitude exists in the AA … as much as people pretend it does not.

3) Employers on the other hand ... are another story. Federal EEOC guidelines say they have to hire X amount of minorities and women so if you are qualified for the job .. in my experience they are quite happy to hire someone that is clearly an AA person. If you are AA but from a distance ... this is not so clear because your skin is so light, they would be concerned that the impression would be … they hired a black person that looks more on the light side … which would be held against them. Of course in large company where there are several thousand employees and plenty of AAs that are 'clearly' black ... this wouldn't be such an issue. If you are qualified and are of any color ... you can get the job.

@printer Ink, you spoke about a dream color, I have heard this from a young lady. I didn't know people had dream colors about people. This young lady I was speaking to kept talking to me about her dream baby

I just got into a heated argument with one of my male friends who said he prefers lighter women after saying I looked like a shadow (he's dark btw.)

One of the points I made during the discussion is that this is the general opinion of black men:

"I prefer to date women of a lighter hue."

and compared it to a white exec at a large firm saying

"I prefer to hire men of a whiter hue."

Those two are comparable right? I'm not crazy, right? Or are the dynamics between dating and work that different? My point was trying to get them to understand that black men have a tendency to do to their women what white employers have done to them for so long, yet only see the issue when it hurts them.

Lol someone tell me I ain't crazy..

I know Drake said no new friends but imma need you reconsider that in 2014. You got 3/4 of the year left boo to surround yourself with better people. It ain't a wash yet.

Lol I agree. I use the term friend loosely. I think he was salty I didn't want to get with him.

didn't you say you mainly date white guys on some brothas ain't sheit tip? or was that in the past? bc of these are the coloreds you're associating with and calling friends.....

I actually told them that after the shadow comment and used their derision of my color as an example why I feel the way I do.

And it's not that I think all black men are terrible people. I meet some who seem to have an amazing love for their women/culture/God but it's so so rare down here. Seriously thinking of migrating to the East coast to try something new.

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