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Ashton Kutcher: “Poop face” George Bush “doesn’t like me very much”

Unbelievable. It seems that Ashton Kutcher occupied the same Super Bowl box as former President George W. Bush last Sunday, and now Ashton Kutcher is very displeased. Apparently he did NOT receive the level of solicitude that he expects from the usual sundry peasants who enter his orbit… you know, the typical riff-raff like former presidents of the United States.

So now, he’s going to make us all miserable by whining about it like a sixth grade girl.

Seriously. For real. I rechecked it a few times myself. I mean, “poop face?” This is a grown man we’re talking about here, right? Not Meghan McCain or some three-year-old or something? And what was all that about rubbernecking on Bush’s Blackberry?

This is truly beyond bizarre.

There has been a problem lately with satirical fiction being presented as fact by ideological dupes and hair-trigger character assassins. Unfortunately, we know that isn’t the case here, because the person who comes out of this looking like a freaking idiot doesn’t happen to be Sarah Palin.

“I don’t think he’s very happy with me,” Kutcher said of Bush. “He just was not very nice to me. He just kind of snubbed me a little bit … [He was] kind of more than [ just ignoring me] … [He was], well, just curt. He just said, ‘eh’ … almost like a burp.”

Kutcher said Bush turned around to “scowl” at him, adding that Bush was also the only one in the private booth using a BlackBerry during the game. Kutcher recalled trying to look over the former president’s shoulder to read what he was typing. Kutcher repeatedly said Bush’s expression resembled a “poop face.”

“I think I said some mean things [about Bush] during the election,” Kutcher said. “I feel like he probably doesn’t like me very much.”

Bush’s opinion or non-opinion of Kutcher is anybody’s guess, but it’s pretty clear that his behavior affirmed another actor, Glenn Close’s, apology for the discriminating and aloof:

“…it’s not a question about temperament or ego; it’s a question about getting it right. If they’ve got a reputation for being difficult it’s usually because they just don’t suffer fools.”