Monday, 3 August 2015

Diary of an Honest Naturalista: Week 113

In the period when I was having communication issues with Dimeji, I used to confide a lot in Tonya and one other friend of mine who is a male. We have been close for a while, and he was even one of the people who encouraged me to give Dimeji a go.

I tell him many things about my relationship, and he tells me about his relationship or lack of it thereof. So it was only natural that when I hit a roadblock with Dimeji, he knew about it. At a time, it seemed there was no hope for Dimeji and I, no matter how hard we tried. I told this friend of mine, hoping he would give me advice from a male’s perspective.

One day after a certain day I had ranted to my friend about how tired and worn out I was about the relationship, and that I was ending it all, he called me, and started singing ‘Lean on me’ for me.

My ‘toaster radar’ was immediately put on alert, and I instantly became irritated.

This guy could not even wait for me to be single before he started pressing his buttons. Needless to say, that was the last time I told him anything about my relationship or even myself generally, including my hair woes.

In the next couple of weeks, he started sending subliminal messages, about how his mind was on me, greeting me more than normal, apparently for me to know he’s thinking of me, etc. I wasn’t flattered at all. I just wanted him to ask me out, so I could turn him down as return to life as we know it.

Finally, to my relief, he asked me out, and I politely turned him down without any shred of insult. But I kept thinking to myself, how selfish can people be? This is someone I call my friend.

He didn’t even lift a finger to help me with my relationship issues, even though Dimeji had now become his close friend.

It was only two months ago that he told me he had found someone he’s in love with, who is also my friend, and I had been giving him advice on how to ‘get the girl’, who just wasn’t feeling him.

He didn’t even think that I was already suffering from heartbreak by the impending breaking up of my relationship, which was so dear to me, and that I have to heal emotionally.

He didn’t consider the fact that if I actually broke up with Dimeji, I would need some time to get myself together before moving on. Not every girl can just switch between men.

When Dimeji and I became cool again, I told him what happened. Looking at his face, I couldn’t tell how he felt about it. This was the first time he wore an emotionless about an issue.

Now that about two months have passed since the incident, I have decided to send him a long message today to tell him how I felt during that period, so he won’t try that with any lady again.

And as for the friendship we had, let’s just say that it can never ever be resurrected.

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