Ex is asking me to comepensate him for his lost parenting days due to his Honeymoon!

Now this question: My exh married last year and went on his honeymoon without our daughter voluntarily and I was happy to help him to take care of her when he was on his honeymoon.

Now after one year he is asking me to compensate him for the time he has lost during his honeymoon.

My response was this: I am happy to help him for his personal trips but am not required to compensate him for his vacations that he voluntarily takes without our child. Otherwise this causes excessive interdependence and interruptions to my time with her which i am hesitant to commit.

He goes on many business trips and i care for our child. I do compensate him for his Business trips but i am not willing to compensate him for his voluntary trips away from our child. I am going on a cousin's wedding in my country for a week where i wont be able to take our child with me since she is attending school now. He is telling me that i cannot use that time as compensation for his business trips. My response was, irrespective of the reason for my time away from our child (voluntary or mandatory reasons), my time away from our child can be considered for compensating him for his Business trips which are happening quite often.

He is trying to equate each and every day in a 365 day year as 50-50 exact compensation.

Comments (22)

I don't think I would agree to make up parenting a year after the fact regardless of why parenting time was used.

Personally, I feel make up time should happen withing 30-60 days in most cases. I also feel like arrangements should be made in advance, not after the fact. Mostly because I am a big planner and need to know what I have going on.

That being said, I do a honeymoon should warrant make up time (still not a year later).

I would let your week be his make up time. As for his business trips, I would not allow make up time to interfere with your life and plans. If you are able to let him make it up, great. If not, oh well. If he looses some of his time, that isn't on you. Make a good faith effort, but don't turn your life upside down for him.

So you're going on a voluntary vacation to a wedding and need him to take DD (dear daughter) because she's in school and can't go with you. You want to use that time as make up time for time he missed in order to work. But it's time you'd have to give him even if he didn't have make up time coming.

Am I right in thinking he didn't say out of the blue that he suddenly wants make up time for his honeymoon after a year, but brought it up in response to you saying that this (your vacation where he'll be taking her on your time that you can't take with her) would have to be his makeup time for his time missed due to his business trip?

--

*Riley*

“Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.”-SK

no i am not asking for makeup time, i am saying my time away for that wedding...

Posted
08/07/2017

no i am not asking for makeup time, i am saying my time away for that wedding can be considered as make up time for his business trips.

So you're telling him that time you'd have to give him anyway because you can't physically be there and can't take her with you - where he'll essentially be doing you a favor so you can go on your vacation - will have to be considered his makeup time?

I can see why he doesn't think that's the greatest deal ever.

--

*Riley*

“Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.”-SK

So you're going on a voluntary vacation to a wedding and need him to take...

Posted
08/07/2017

So you're going on a voluntary vacation to a wedding and need him to take DD because she's in school and can't go with you. You want to use that time as make up time for time he missed in order to work. But it's time you'd have to give him even if he didn't have make up time coming.

Am I right in thinking he didn't say out of the blue that he suddenly wants make up time for his honeymoon after a year, but brought it up in response to you saying that this (your vacation where he'll be taking her on your time that you can't take with her) would have to be his makeup time for his time missed due to his business trip?

Yeah this...

Like I said I don't believe in make-up time in a 50/50 split but you don't get to tell him YOUR vacation is HIS make-up time. If your court order says he gets make-up time this trip isn't it.

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