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Saturday's with Stef: Scared of the Unknown

12:04 AM

I think sometimes you just have to throw your hands in the air and wave em around like you just don't care...Seriously.

I'm a tad bit scared for once in my life.

I may not show it, but me being in a peaceful state is a tad bit scary.

I am not sure what I am scared of. Okay, maybe I do...the UNKNOWN. I have been feeling a tad bit, "When will something really amazing, incredible, life-changing will happen for me?" I see so many people pregnant, married, etc...that of course I could feel left out. But then I think, I am so glad I am waiting. I know a girl or two going on child three from dad number THREE. Single parents struggling. Women in toxic relationships- And THAT'S THEIR LIFE and that is the life that was chosen...but it really makes me thankful that I am waiting even though I do feel left out.

I keep telling myself, everything I have gone through...Has lead me to this happiness and peace I have and I just have to breathe and trust in God that he has something TOTALLY WORTH WAITING FOR, Waiting for me. So, like all humans, it is scary. I sometimes wonder if I have already met my future husband, how many kids we'll have, scared of divorce (because I am a child of divorce), but then I get REALLY excited knowing that I am not settling. I am taking my time, PUTTING MYSELF FIRST, and chasing my own dreams!

That alone is scary. I think most saw me at a University with some degree...but truth is, finishing my book is MY DREAM. Being a WRITER/Blogger is my dream. I am on MY OWN path. I am HAPPY and at Peace...but scared of the unknown.

Do I make ANY sense.

-Inhales & Exhales-

I just hope God has something really GOOD waiting for me. I feel it and know it, but the waiting game is killing me!