The Return of the Repressed

July 13, 2006

Dogging Vice and Folly

A dog philosopher reforms his fellow citizens pro bono publico. Dog, the bounty hunter, get paid per capita. Your think tank thinkers are the modern bounty hunters for the dark side, eliminating truth, suppressing justice, espousing ugliness at Candidia's behest. Against this, the satirist, in the tradition of the dog philosopher, stands firm.

Ever been in a situation where you know for sure that what's needed is an absence of you? You wish it weren't but it is? That's an interesting 'walk' to take. Quite the challenge, really. Once you've done that... 5 times?, they should stamp on your passport: Adult.

Subject: Re: walk the line

or that passport may be revoked, and you, asked to take a permanent walk. Then you'd have to like...ahhh...be a Palestinian or something - I've got some of that black and white checkered cloth on hand if ya need it dude.

Subject: Re: walk the line

Ouch. That sounds more painful than a blow to my little ego. I think I will get me a puppy and pet it, instead...

(bad tangent to 'wary', there is a little cat called an egyptian red (i think) that is loose in our neighborhood. This is a different creature altogether, it moves very quickly, like a fast trot without the jostle, in a subtle but definite zig-zag. it's beautifully weird, but i feel sorry for it. it looks like it's desperately searching for something familiar, to no avail...)

I visualize the mutt lifting his leg against a pillar on which stands a statue of Alexander the Great, while Diogenes lolls naked in his barrel nearby. Some say he trained the dog to do it, but that has never been proven.

A friend of mine had a junkyard dog who lived under his house. This was the foulest, meanest, most malicious mutt imaginable. (And it weren't no pit bull, neither. Nor any other of them boutique 'bad dogs.' Just a skinny snarling mutt.)

Anybody know how to disincline a rogue kitty with balls from marking profusely all over one's small backyard territory? This fucker is murdering us back there. Seriously. (I've already tried small arms.)

Beat them into submission to the God, country, and parents. Working class parenting styles, I believe researchers have shown, are often quite different from those of educated cubicle dwelling parents. The middle class parents foster creative development, and consider each kid a budding genius. Spanking always struck me as a better way to do it. Genius is rare; stubborn pride is nearly universal. No better way to teach a child to turn the other cheek than to slap him upside the head.

You can't use the same approach with all children. Some need a wack just to get them to pay attention, others make an reprimand into an emotional drama. You have to remember that they are good little actors, and they are paying attention even when pretending they are not, even when you'd rather they weren't.

Only 3 percent of the United States population have a written list of their dreams and goals. Perhaps this is why 3 percent of the people own as much real estate as the remaining 97 percent combined and the same 3 percent possess as much wealth as the remaining 97 percent combined!

Dear God

My goal is to redistribute the wealth of those among the top three percent who did not make a plan (except to passively inherit it) to those of the bottom ninety-seven percent who did have a plan and pursued it doggedly to no avail.