Monday, June 30, 2014

Recovery is awesome!

I don't know why replies to comments come up in a red box on here. It's something I've tried to fix a few times (went on the Blogger forum and got some html code to put in the layout / properties or some such techy business - didn't work, gah! - hate this techy stuff and am not very good at it). So great that there are clever web people right now working on the design of the new site and they'll be in charge of ironing out glitches once we all start using it.

They've sent me a list of content they need me to write for the welcome and information pages.. so I'll start doing that from today.. and their design team is going to show me soon what it's going to look like. It's so exciting!! I can't wait for it to be up and running so anyone who wants to share how they are going in the adjustment to living alcohol free can do that (anonymously if you like) and we can all encourage and help each other along the way - share tips & experiences, generally boost each other along.

I'm keen to get people to send in photos of themselves for the new site holding up signs with their sober date or some wish or desire they have for their life without booze.. what do you think about that idea? Faces of recovery. Having said that you could always hold the sign up to cover your face if you wanted to keep yourself hidden at first (which I totally understand) but I think those images of actual real people can be very powerful.

The words we share are powerful too.

I'm going to spend a lot of time on the new site but I will keep blogging regularly here as well because this blog is my home and I love it and don't want to leave it behind.

Anyway.. the book launch party… SO FUN! I had a great chatty night surrounded by friends and family. I missed out on one of the pre-poured, fancily garnished mocktails but had a few glasses of non-alcoholic punch throughout the night. I had planned to get a Red Bull from the bar during the night to boost me along (and it feels a bit naughty coz I don't usually touch that shit) but I completely forgot. I did however smoke a cigarette!!!!! There were a bunch of people outside having a fun time smoking and drinking and I joined them for a while and smoked the ciggy. That was fun but I don't think I'll be climbing back into that little habit.

Completely forgot to thank my amazing publishers in my speech which I am totally gutted about - Allen & Unwin are the best publishers a girl could ask for! Strong and wise and smart and incredibly kind. There, hopefully that gush on here will stop me feeling guilty for not having said thanks to them on Saturday night (and it's all true).

On the morning of the party I had to go and do a radio interview. I was super-nervous about it because this interviewer is a totally awesome, clever, formidable broadcaster. But it went great. I loved talking with her and actually got to go into some of the detail about how I re-trained my brain to live without alcohol. At 34 minutes long it was possible to get a good discussion going. I'd said to my sister-in-law before I left home that I was going to try and say "recovery is awesome" during the interview.. and I managed to say it twice!! Hooray!

I've had a few people message me asking about where to buy the book. It's in stores in Australia & New Zealand now.. if you're overseas and want a hard copy you need to buy it from this side of the world (here or here) and they'll ship it to you. I think from October it'll be in warehouses overseas. Or the e-version is here or here.

And now I better go get writing content and responding to some more of the lovely emails I have received. It's raining, I have a scented candle burning and Natalie Merchant softly playing. It is a good day to be sober.

53 comments:

Hey Mrs D, Day 9 and yes I can honestly say I'm going strong. I have been at the point where I was having the inner arguments for sometime now. The days are fine, its the evenings when things have settled I find the hardest but I am managing. My biggest focus is for the next day, waking up being able to pat myself on the back. I'm a keen visualiser and hence am focusing on my life going forward as it is at this moment, without alcohol, my targets are day to day.

Looking forward to the new website, congratulations on all the hard work and perseverance.

Interesting comments re that person that said this was all a load of crap. Problem with many is that their version of an alcoholic is someone lying in the street, under a box, if you drink at home (regardless if it is to excess) your not causing trouble so therefore are not in trouble. Knockers were always going to be part of the game.

Great to see Sunday follow up on the effects of alcohol on the liver, we are all aware, but visuals always slam the point home. Have a great day everyone, keep reading and keep writing and keep looking forward.

There are no red boxes on the replies to comments from where I'm sitting! Try using a different browser maybe. And YES, it's a fantastic day to be sober. Hell, It's a fantastic lifetime to be sober. I love reading all the messages from the newly motivated sober people. We're changing the course of history here. So exciting!

Hi. I have to thank you. You are such an inspiration to me and have given me a huge impetus to get back on the sober road. It is day 12 for me today and feeling very resolute in my mission to remove alcohol from my life. Your story resonates with me although I have left it a lot longer in my life to sort it out. Congrats to you for knocking it on the head at the age you are. Go girl!!!

Hey Mrs D! I just caught up with what you're up to - saw the Sunday programme and have been reading your blog for the first time. What an inspiration you are girl! I admire your courage and your style. Keep it up sweetpea. The alcohol culture in NZ really needs a shake up. love Bec

Soooo funny re the ciggie, wish we had met in the good ol' party days. But feel certain to meet you now and 'party' would be a lot more meaningful and memorable! Have managed to ditch cigs for several months now (except for one weekend in April - the last time I give in to that habit).

Agree with your title! Everything is awesome like the song says, but I only realized it in sobriety.

My favorite part about all of these exciting new developments - your book, tv interview, radio talk, new web site, etc - is that they're happening to you. You've been a down-to-earth and positive role model since the getgo and while I'm sure the pressure and stress are hard at times, you've always held your own with grace and charm. It's just all nice to see.

Day one for me too. Sick of trying to convince myself that I can moderate because I can't. Just a fact I need to come to terms with and watching Mrs D on the Sunday show come to that same realization has convinced me that it really is true, I'm a drunk! Basically I just don't know when to stop, if it's in the house it gets drunk and there have been times when if it's still not enough I'll go out to get more. I'm just like Mrs D, everything revolves around wine and wine and more wine, when I can have it, how much I can get through and worried all the time there won't be enough, pathetic! Anyway no more, time to straighten out and sober up, I gave up smoking 5 years ago and now it's time to give up this one last addiction. Nervous as hell because as I write this I'm thinking of a mid winter xmas in two weeks and a girlfriends birthday dinner in three weeks and wondering how on earth I will cope without my best friend (wine) to accompany me. But I'm going to do it, I can do it, I will follow Mrs D into sobriety and find a new and better me!! As they like to say "Bring It"

Hey. It is so hard. Hang in there and read my blog too. I am reaching out for help and would be great if we could help each other . Mrs D inspired me. mrsstryingtobesober.blogspot.com. Come on sisters we need to kill the beast. She has inspired so many people go Mrs D. Come on world we can do this,

It IS really hard! I did the same...tried to moderate. Tried that so many times for YEARS!!! Then one day I finally admitted to myself that I had to QUIT. Totally completely quit! I knew it was the only way. So I did! And on day 1 I found Mrs D Is Going Without! I think the combination of the 'right' mindset, and this amazing blog was what got me through it all! That was 10/1/12....and I have been sober ever since! You can do this! In the beginning the days will seem long....but it does get better and easier! Just keep logging into this blog and connecting with Mrs D and all of us who are on the same journey! So rewarding!

Day 10: Feeling really emotional today. Think I bottled (get it?) it up, rather than allow myself to really experience the experience I was going thru. Always trying to look like I could cope, people telling me how strong I am, and how wonderfully I coped with everything that has happened over the past years. Bullocks, just locked it up inside, covered it in alcohol and hoped that the emotions would just dissolve. But I forgot alcohol preserves stuff, as it did my emotions, which have been alcohol free for 10 days, so now they are saying hello we're back.

Almost gave in last night, poured a spirit mix (not my usual drink) and thought just one sip, well I did have one wee sip and thought it was absolutely disgusting, spat it out and tossed the rest down the sink, had a lemon water to wash the taste from me mouth, then went to bed. Loving reading the blogs thanks for keeping me focused.

Hey. It is so hard. Hang in there and read my blog too. I am reaching out for help and would be great if we could help each other . Mrs D inspired me. mrsstryingtobesober.blogspot.com. Come on sisters we need to kill the beast. She has inspired so many people go Mrs D. Come on world we can do this,

My heavy drinking damaged my health. I was drinking 2 bottles of wine a night, telling lies about it and feeling like shit every day. Each day was measured by how bad the hangover was. I haven't had a drink for 10 months and I have got this far by not worrying about any other day but today. Last year I did start panicking about Christmas and New year in September but when I think about it now what a dick of a thing to do.It's a battle though. I was in Briscoes the other day and I found myself looking at wine glasses..I was picking them up to feel how heavy they were and thinking...gee these are nice. I had to give myself a good talking to and get the hell out of there. I LOVE being sober and clear headed.

Hey. It is so hard. Hang in there and read my blog too. I am reaching out for help and would be great if we could help each other . Mrs D inspired me. mrsstryingtobesober.blogspot.com. Come on sisters we need to kill the beast. She has inspired so many people go Mrs D. Come on world we can do this,

Hey Mary - I don't want to join up another site and don't know how to post anonymously to your blogspot, so I have posted my support here. Will be good when the new website is up.Dear Mary - your journey is fraught with challenges. My goodness, I have read your posts from the start. You are courageous and mighty to be utilising your excellent control freak quality (I identify with this by the way) and taking back control of YOUR life. Your children will function with food and shelter in the meantime while you take time to rectify you. There is much relationship rebuilding required with your children but that will come after your relationship with yourself is right first. Your actions will speak far louder than words to your kids and your slippers were a smart step. Of course they were horrified, they are teenagers, how else would they react. But I bet on the inside they knew you meant business. Not sure where you live but can I recommend online supermarket shopping. It is so much easier to avoid the wine aisle. I recently had to visit the supermarket to use up vouchers. Boy did I grip that trolley tightly as I stared ahead and moved quickly past the temptation. I too am enjoying the clear head and I trust in Mrs D that the horizon is even better, brighter and more exciting than at the moment, you and I can imagine. Kia Kaha dear lady.xxx

Hi Mary, thank you for you words of support, am working thru things, pretty positively actually. Have read your blog, and like above and posting here bec of same reasons as anonymous above. Keep strong and take it day by day, there are many of us together

Thanks GG. I have changed by blog name from Mary Davis to my read name Cherie. Same blog though I will be continuing. You don't need to join the site you just need to click the reply button and it will give you a choice of how to reply - anonymous is the last option.

Went the shop bread milk chocolate and yes a bottle of wine. Home, cooked fish, had a drink...................carrot and apple x 2. Yes I did it. Filled up on juice, didn't even want open the bottle. In bed, day 11 tmrw

.... Hi, thank you for asking me how things have been going for me. I haven't responded until now because I was feeling a bit ashamed (but have since worked through it and not beating myself up) - I didn't drink anything on Thursday and then Friday, Saturday and last night I had three beers during each of those evenings. The good thing is that in a week, I have consumed 1/3 of the usual percent of alcohol I usually guzzle down my throat in a week - so that is progress!

Well done to all of you above for keeping the strength and achieving what you have.

I can't wait until the new website Mrs D is working on, gets going, whereby we will be able to type to each other in what I assume will be a chat room. That way, whoever is on, we can provide mutual support at the time.

Mr H - I used to have a bottle of wine a night but only had 1 bottle in 10 days! Yay! like you, I have cut down massively and I'm pretty proud of myself! Like you, I am trying to re wire my thought re alcohol. .... Ie I don't need it every night. I'm glad you are making progress. Good luck!

Hey Mr H. figured you'd gone to ground, hoped, and glad to see that it wasn't permanent. This road to Sobersville isn't going to be easy, even tho I found the first week relatively ok, this week has been different.

The mornings are great, love waking up clear headed, during the day fine as well, but then the early evening kicks in and the brain starts saying wld be nice to kick back with a glass, come on just one glass. So I have given into it with a glass of carrot and apple. I enjoy the juice, its really healthy and filling and quenches the urge.

I must admit I look at the people who are on 60, 90 days, 3 mths 10 mths and many on several years of sobriety and I feel a bit pathetic. Had been thinking about whether or not to blog anymore because I almost felt like I was whinging/whining. And I like to interact with others, but decided to persevere until the new website kicks in.

Good work for keeping at it. Have been looking for Ms M to see how she's going, but its a bit messy jumping around the blogs, so hopefully Ms M you'll post progress. I got tired of being anonymous so called myself as above but will shorten it to GG.

Nice posts guys. Dont you dare drop of G.G im selfishly relying on you! might swing by briscoes tomoro for my new juicer :)...I responded to your july4 post btw. And yep youre right I did go to ground...a 3 day bender. I deserve this hangover. Im going to beat this disease tho.

A message for Mary - for the same reasons as anonnymouse above :-) I would also recommend online shopping - the extra cost would probably be covered by not buying wine and travel cost. Another option would be to wear your slippers (love that) when you pick your girls up and give them the list and money to do the shopping on your way home - that way you can sit in the car and read or listen to music and have some me time. Also it could work that you are including your girls in helping you and they may (even though they may not say it ) really like to be a part of getting you through this.

Luckily the teenage years don't last forever and it is also a time for them pick up their own responsibilities and you to let go (a little :-) ) I recall many years ago when my then 5 year old refused to get ready for school that we ended up getting psychological support and she said to me - whose problem is it? Let him go to school in his jamas he will only do it once!!! So since then when I get annoyed about what other people do (being a control freak according to my children) I say to myself whose problem is it and if it's not mine - let it go - or at least try to. Not always that helpful especially with teenagers but ultimately if your son wants to stay in bed all day and not to go school whose problem is it?

From what you are saying I think you are doing awesome - well done throwing the wine away xxx

HI Mrs D.,love your blog reading through all the archives and can so relate to that off and running one isn't going to cut it.I'm trying to taper off having A.F. days and really just want it gone never to think about it.It really isn't that fun ,nor is it adding any value to my life's experience.

I heard your radio interview while I was cleaning / racing around the house, so didn't catch it all. So last night, I sat down and listened to it properly via podcast. To be honest, I think I have a drinking problem, have thought it for ages. But I am so damn high functioning. I don't think I even drink as much as you - but the fact is I cannot contemplate NOT having drink every night, and its usually more than one, and it is very often too much. I have give up for spurts before - even up to six months. But to be honest, I cannot contemplate giving up for my whole life. I can't get my ahead around that at all. So what are you supposed to do with that? I can't commit to saying "I am an alcoholic" and stopping - so what - I just wait until I crash so hard that I have to? Or I try another spurt of not drinking? That has never worked before. Dunno. Tempted to go to an AA meeting - but then what - we are back to me saying publicly that I am not going to drink for the rest of my life and that is way too scary for me.

I had a very foreign and fabulous experience last night. I poured my wine and I felt - not guilt or failure as I always have felt . . . but annoyance! I haven't made it 100% sober and I'm still striving for that . . . BUT . . since cutting right back (I recently thought unachievable) to the minimum for me - suddenly my focus on my work has been so much greater and I've been able to become PASSIONATE again! I say this in capitals because for so long I've fought like hell to appear switched on and in control and I haven't been been at all. A great thing comes from sobriety - within a short time there is a) a renewed interest in something that you've had all along b) motivation - whereas I couldn't be bothered before and c) PLANNING! Again - Caps :) But whilst drinking I was planning alright - planning how to hide the evidence and how to get through my day. Now - with that massive weight off my shoulders I can plan for things that will mean that I look forward to getting up (minus hangover) and enjoy the day - having a laugh - not wishing for 5 pm - knowing that I'll remember conversations during the evening (the fact that I am open to phone calls in the evening is a new thing) and, to be honest, just feeling that I'm bog standard normal. Loving it.

I couldn't agree more and being new to this I am loving the words that Mrs d is putting in my head. I asked my girlfriends which I normally enjoy socialising with wine to meet yesterday for a walk and coffee. Well we laughed and laughed and suddenly a phrase from Mrs d popped into my head "there is nothing quite like sober laughing" and by god she is right! I feel like I need to rewrite the vocab and phrases in my head and the more I read here and from Mrs d the more this is definitely happening! I am day 29 and so happy. I can't believe i am actually doing it.