Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Geeks and freaks

I had to go back to the IPOD shop as Ashley's IPOD stuck and would not move from being on 'Busted'. I alone would have never taken it back and let anyone know I listened to 'Busted', I would have forfeited the right to the use of the gadget -she should have hung her head in shame.

Anyway the 'Uber-Geek' in the shop (he was dressed in grey acrylic 'slacks' with a definitive crease down the front and a tight white heavily pressed summer white shirt) took me aside and showed me how to re-set the IPOD.

I casually asked him how to the play my music in my car.

Geek-" Well prepare yourself to tackle this with certain moral fibre"

Ashley and I looked at each other and sniggered.

Geek-"What I am about to tell you is highly illegal"

me-"Is it more illegal than selling heroin or child trafficking?"

Geek-"No...( he looks shocked at this) but what it is-is, you have to buy this gizmo and at this point I have to legally tell you that we disapprove of such activity and if the police stop you, you are in big trouble...."

Me-"Is this more trouble than getting caught with guns and semetex?"

Geek-"No ( he looks horrified at this) but it is basically a small gadget that is basically a radio reciever and transmitter that is like a pirate radio station device"

me-"Are you telling me I have to fucking launch a radio station thats illegal in my car to fucking hear my IPOD tunes?"

Geek-"Yes, but I have one and......."

Me-"Ok if you have one I am not getting it, you are a real geekazoid"

Geek-"Well I wouldnt say I was a geek BUT I am getting dressed up to see the new Star Wars film"

Me-"Ok that settles it then, I am not having it. Do you sell them just out of interest?"

Geek-"No but I can give you the email of a man on EBAY who sells it and tell him I sent you so I get the cut off the deal"

Me-"Are you fucking serious? You are getting a cut off a weirdo called ( I look at the paper he handed me) Gizmozoider who 'deals' in small radio receivers? Is this the limit to your 'Underground IPOD' racket?, fucking hell your life is one big round of James Bond activity!"

We all laughed and I thanked him and left the shop.

I am not buying some shitty radio reciever that may alert the police to me, I have form...thats all I need and can you imagine the shame of getting caught listening to Carly Simon? I am not going to court for that! No way!

Guns and semtex yes....illegally listening to some soft rock???....NO.