Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you’d better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don’t take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki’s interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favor. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It’s no trouble.)

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don’t you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you.

Mommytoday I learned how to suck my thumb.If you could see meyou could definitely tell that I am a baby.I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what MommyI'm a boy!!I hope that makes you happy.I always want you to be happy.I don't like it when you cry.You sound so sad.It makes me sad tooand I cry with you even thoughyou can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommymy hair is starting to grow.It is very short and finebut I will have a lot of it.I spend a lot of my time exercising.I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toesand stretch my arms and legs.I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.Mommy, he lied to you.He said that I'm not a baby.I am a baby Mommy, your baby.I think and feel.Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.I don't like him.He seems cold and heartless.Something is intruding my home.The doctor called it a needle.Mommy what is it? It burns!Please make him stop!I can't get away from it!Mommy! HELP me!

One more heart that was stopped.Two more eyes that will never see.Two more hands that will never touch.Two more legs that will never run.One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this.

Abortion is just wrong. Every life is precious. Help stop abortion.

RIP Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, as his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing

Canada is being crushed under General Winter's ice. Our favorite hamburger-loving hero is on a mission to save it, but close on his heels is Ivan, desperate to possess Alfred by any means. Part Two of "The Canadian and the American". DISCONTINUED

The world plans on taking over America's country. Alfred travels to Russia secretly and talks to Ivan about what's going to happen and then shocks Ivan with his way to solve it. They should get married and take over the world. RusAme. Snapped!America.

Prince Matthew is to be "subjugated" by Lord Ivan for several days. He wants a way out and then he discovers the young American peasant, Alfred, who's been impersonating him. Now he has an idea. Russia x US A Prince and Pauper story

Gilbert is a spy and his boyfriend, Ludwig, is a scientist. The European agency just assigned Gilbert to assassinate Ludwig and steal the project he is working on, without knowing of the two's relationship...They shouldn't have done that.

TF:Prime Universe/Angel Theme: When the light and darkness blend... When even the purest mate with the most vile... When even angels fall to mating desire... That is the Sinner's Night. Happy Halloween! Read and review if you like!

"There's nothing wrong with a hero like me!" America's voice was haughty with pride and heavy with smugness, sitting up straight in his chair and meeting Russia's eyes in a way no other country really could. Not even Russia's allies.

One-shot: He buried his face indignantly in the crook of Russia's neck, breathing in his scarf, scars, and let the tears go silently as Russia wrapped his arms once more around him and whispered incoherent Russian-isms into his hair. Russia/America. R&R!

When Orochimaru seals off the Kyubi's power during the Chunin Exams, he unleashes a new power that just may equal the fox in raw strength. Perhaps...it is even greater. Sôten ni zase...Hyôrinmaru. B-Side chapters for NaruHina

Your expression as you enjoy nibbling on that fruit, it's attractive. Naïvely smiling, you knew nothing, knowing nothing, yet wanting to know everything. So now, show me every part of you, until we surpass even our dreams… RusAme

An Alfred and Ivan in the future who are in a loving relationship are blasted to the past during the Cold War where Alfred wakes up in Ivan of the Cold Wars bed and Ivan wakes up in Alfreds of the Cold Wars bed.

The last ringing of the bell shatters Victor's already strangled control, and though he's tried to behave all day for his beloved Wolvy, his inner animal finally breaks free. Slash. 2nd in Will's 12 Days of Christmas series for Jack.

After the 9/11 attack America isolates himself, refusing to make contact with others out of paranoia that they too might turn on him. No one has been able to get through to him or make him stop sleeping with a gun by his side, but can England save him?

I'm a 26 year coming from the battles of Iraq as a hero once I got back I'm into battle again with a junior systems analyst, a college student, and tattoo-covered biker i had met and the worst part, the city I live in has zombies, lots of them.God help me

Sequel to Kitsune:Assassin for Hire. Three years after Hinata leaves, Kitsune returns and has a girl with him. But she doesn't look or act anything like Hinata! Could she really have made that sacrifice for nothing? Or perhaps... Plz give it a chance!

Due to the inspiration from this song called "Still Doll" the opening for Vampire Knight. I made up a story that involves a little something different. Of course it's a NaruHina and they're will be alot of fighting and reunions ;

Sasuke returned to the village and is currently living at the Uchiha manor. Even though he's in doesn't mean he's not skating on thin ice. Sakura whats to help but it's all up to Sasuke. What will he choose?