Alejandra's Difficult Choice

continued  "I've worked here in Zona Norte for about three months. I'll maybe work three or six months more here. It's a real job, like any other. On a good day I can make as much as 600 pesos. On bad days, I make only maybe 150 pesos. Americans are the most difficult clients. They're very abusive. Often they don't want to use condoms, and when I refuse, they swear at me. They think I'm stupid. They think I don't understand. But I lived in Brooklyn. I understand some English. They call me 'bitch' or 'motherfucker.' When they do, I say in English, 'Don't call me like that.' And they're surprised. They don't think I understand. I'm not stupid.

"I usually send my parents about 2000 or 3000 pesos each month, and that's enough for food, gas for the stove, and clothes. This work is expensive because I don't have an apartment. I have to stay in hotels. And I have to buy clothes. A pair of pants, 150 pesos. A blouse, 100 pesos. Shoes can be expensive, maybe 200 pesos. Also, I have to eat. So, I have to save up a little money to take back with me to my family. I tell them that I'm working at a restaurant here in Tijuana, that I make good money from tips.

"What are my dreams? My hopes? Right now my biggest dream is going back to Puebla to be with my parents and my children. I want to spend time with them. Someday I'd like to go back to Brooklyn, to work. But who knows? People say I'm very brave because I've crossed the border twice on foot. I would even try now, but it's too cold. They say there's snow in the mountains. My brothers are too afraid. They crossed only once and are afraid to go back to Mexico to visit my parents because they don't want to have to cross the border again.

"The other dream I have is that I'd someday like to go to Ecuador. I know it sounds like a strange dream, but when I was in New York, I met a lot of people from Ecuador, and we became very good friends. Some of them had passed through Mexico, and they said they were surprised that Mexico was such a rich country. That made me think. Mexico? A rich country? They said Ecuador was very poor, and I want to see that, to see how people live there, how they get along in a country that's poorer than Mexico. I want to see the country. I want to see how they survive."