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English

Slang

Usage

1st (first class degree)

Geoff Hurst

He managed a Geoff [Geoff Hurst was a soccer player who
played for England 49 times - Thanks to L H Webber]

2:2 (lower second class degree)

Desmond Tutu

He’s got his Desmond [Thanks to John Curtis-Rouse]

3rd (third class degree)

Douglas Hurd

I got a Desmond but he only managed a Douglas [Thanks to
Tim Herman]

All Dayer (all day drinking session)

Leo Sayer

Let's make it a Leo Sayer. [Thanks to Sean Gillespie]

All Dayer (all day drinking)

Gary Player

Let's make it a Gary Player [Thanks to J. Jeffreys]

Alone

Jack Jones

He went to the pub all Jack. [This doubtless comes from a Music Hall
song sung, somewhere between 1900 and 1914, by the Cockney songster Gus
Elen entitled " 'E dunno where 'e are". Gus is buried in
Streatham Park Cemetery, London. I believe he died about 1944. The song is
about a bloke, Jack Jones, who comes into a sum of money and thinks
himself too good for his former mates:

"When he's up at Covint Gardin you can see 'im a standin' all
alone, / Won't join in a quiet little Tommy Dodd (half-pint of beer),
drinking Scotch and Soda on 'is own, / 'E 'as the cheek and impidence to
call 'is muvver 'is Ma, / Since Jack Jones came into a little bit o'
splosh, well 'e dunno where 'e are." - Thanks to Frank Haigh for the
explanation of the source]

Alone

Pat Malone

I'm all pat tonight. [Thanks to Alan Little]

Alone

Todd Sloan

Looks like I'm on my Todd tonight. [Thanks to Jeff McCartney. - Frank
Baynham reports that Todd Sloan was a famous jockey (I've found a listing
for him at the Wikiup ranch in Northern California) who had a tendency to
run at the front of the pack... all alone.]

Arm

Chalk Farm

He broke his chalk.

Army

Daft and Barmy

He was promoted in the daft. [Thanks to Alan Little]

Army

Kate Karney

He's off and joined the Kate. [Kate Carney (1869-1950), a
comedienne, was born into a music hall family in London. She made her
first stage appearance at the Albert Music Hall, Canning Town, and later
became famous for her cockney character songs. These songs established her
at the top of the bill and she was described as 'The Cockney Queen'. -
Thanks to Cab for the information on Kate]

Arse

April in Paris

I’m ‘aving terrible trouble with me April [How can such a simple
word have so many convoluted references? April in Paris - Aris (from
Aristotle - bottle which is from bottle and glass - arse.) Whew –
Thanks to Peter Chrisp]

Arse

Aristotle=Bottle=Bottle and Glass=Arse; therefore, Aris=Arse

I gave him a good kick up the Aris [Thanks to Ray Davis.] See also
bottle.

Arse

Bottle and Glass

I gave him a good kick up the bottle.

Arse

Khyber Pass

Stick it up your khyber.

Arse

Rolf Harris

She kicked him in the Rolf [Rolf Harris wrote "My Boomerang Won't
Come Back". See the reference above to Aristotle. Thanks
to Matt Fisher]

Arsehole

Elephant & Castle

He's a bit of an elephant [Thanks to Steve Fuller]

Arsehole

Jam Roll

That geezer is a right jam roll. [Thanks to Robert Lynch]

Arsehole

Merry Old Soul

‘e’s a bit of a merry old soul [Thanks to Sanor]

Aunt

Mrs. Chant

He didn't know what to get his Mrs. Chant for Christmas [Thanks to Alan
Little]

Back

Cadbury Snack

Me cadbury's playing me up [Thanks to Pete Powis]

Back

Hammer and Tack

Ooh! Me 'ammer and tack's playing me up again. [Thanks to James]

Back

Hat Rack

He fell off the roof and broke his hat rack [Thanks to Martin Hillier]

Go on! Kick him in the cobblers! [Can also be used to express
disbelief, such as "Cobblers! That's not the way it is."]

Balls (testicles)

Coffee Stalls

He gave him a kick in the corfies [Thanks to Rick Hardy -
the pronunciation is reported to be corfie, not coffee]

Balls (testicles)

Niagara Falls

I got him in his niagara's [Thanks to Alan Little]

Balls (testicles)

Orchestra Stalls

He nearly got hit in the orchestra [Thanks to Alan Little]

Balls (testicles)

Royal Albert Hall

I kicked this geezer straight in the Royal Alberts [Thanks to Steve
Smith]

Banana

Gertie Gitana

I like a gertie on my cereal [Possibly an old music hall star - Thanks
to Christopher Webb. Sue Lawrence adds: "Gertie Gitana was
indeed a music hall performer. My mother, now ninety-two, spent her early
life in Dalston and used to go and see her at the Hackney Empire.]

Bank

Armitage Shank

I’m off to the armitage [Armitage Shank is the maker of fine
porcelain fixtures found in washrooms everywhere - Thanks to Ed Leveque.]

Bank

Cab Rank

I won't be long - just going to the cab rank [Thanks to Mike Smith]

Bank

Iron Tank

He lost his house to the iron.

Bank

J. Arthur Rank

Gotta get a cock & hen from the J
Arthur [Thanks to Aaron Marchant]

Bank

Sherman Tank

He's off to the Sherman [Thanks to Iain Gordon]

Bank

Tommy Tank

I'm going 'round the tommy to pay in a gooses. [See also Wank - thanks
to Christopher Webb]

Bar (pub)

Jack Tar

I'm off to the Jack. [See also 'Alone' and Bar (pub). Could be very
confusing if you're going alone - "I'm off to the jack jack".
Or, if you were telling your brother Jack, "I'm off to the jack jack,
Jack"]

Bar (pub)

Near and Far

I saw him at the near.

Barber

Dover Harbour

I’m off to Dover to get me barnet sorted [Thanks to Mark Vernon]

Barking (mad)

Three stops down from Plaistow

He’s three stops down from Plaistow [from the London Underground
District Line – thanks to Matthew Jackson]

Barrow

Cock Sparrow

He's wheeling his cock 'round the market. [Lenny notes that in the
north this expression can also refer to a friend, as in "Hello me old
cock sparrow"]

Bath

Steffi Graf

I’m just going for a steffi [Thanks to David Shea]

Bed

Uncle Ted

I'm off to Uncle Ted.

Beer

Pig's Ear

Can I buy you a pig?

Beers

Brittney Spears

'ow about a Brittney?" [Brittney Spears is a popular singer.
Thanks to Ben Allen]

Believe

Adam and Eve

I don't Adam and Eve it! [Usually full slang expression is used]

Belly

Auntie Nellie

I punched him in the Auntie but he didn't even notice.

Belly

Derby Kelly

That's the stuff for you Derby Kell; makes you fit and it makes you
well [From old cockney song Boiled Beef and Carrots - pronounced Darby.
Thanks to Christopher Webb]

Belly

New Delhi

Look at the new delhi on him! [Thanks to Daniel Williams]

Bender (homosexual)

Leo Fender

That blokes a bit leo after all. [The late Leo Fender was the inventor
of the Stratocaster guitar - thanks to Richard English]

Bent (criminal)

Stoke on Trent

'e's stoke he is. [Thanks to Alan Little. See also 'Bent (gay)']

Bent (homosexual)

Behind with the Rent

You're not behind with the rent? [Thanks to Gez who
heard this in the film 'Layer Cake'

Bent (homosexual)

Duke of Kent

Bet you any money e's a duke [Thanks to Tom Hoyle]

Bent (homosexual)

Stoke on Trent

That bloke's a bit stoke [Thanks to Alex Wood. See also 'Bent
(criminal)']

Best

Mae West

I'm Mae West at Cockney Rhyming Slang [Thanks to Kris Grissom]

Beverage

Edna Everage

Would you like an Edna? [Edna Everage (aka Dame Edna) is a star,
darling! Thanks to Sue Cope.]

Bill (statement)

Beecham's Pill

I got my Beecham's from the tax people.

Bill (statement)

Jack and Jill

I'm going home - can I have my Jack? [See also Hill]

Bill (statement)

Jimmy Hill

Have we paid the Jimmy Hill yet? [Thanks to Magnus Spencer. Jimmy Hill
is a football pundit and former player]

Bird

Richard the Third

Look what that bloody Richard's done to my car!

Bird (woman)

Lemon Curd

I’m off to see me lemon [Thanks to Jesse Wynne]

Bitter (beer)

Apple Fritter

I've tried that new apple but I prefer my salmon [Salmon and trout -
stout].

Bitter (beer)

Gary Glitter

Give us a pint of gary [Thanks to Gareth Evans]

Bitter (beer)

Giggle and Titter

'ere. I could use a giggle. [Thanks to Martin McKerrell]

Bitter (beer)

Kitty Litter

A pint of kitty litter please [Thanks to Mark]

Blind

Bacon Rind

Are you completely bacon? [Thanks to Damon]

Blonde

Magic Wand

I pulled a top magic wand last night [Thanks to Lee Henderson]

Boat

Nanny Goat

I took my nanny out on the river.

Bog (toilet)

Kermit the Frog

Sorry mate - where's the kermit [Thanks to Ray Wells]

Boil

Can of Oil

'e'd be nice looking once his canov's clear up. [Thanks to Marie
Gordon]

Boil

Conan Doyle

'e's got a conan on his bottle the size of me fist! [Thanks to Marie
Gordon. John Mahony adds that very often the expression used is
"Sir Arthur", as in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - He's got a Sir
Arfur on his bushel]

Bollocks

Jackson Pollock

This modern art's a load of old Jacksons [Thanks to Justin Ellis.
Pollock is a "20th Century strange artist".]

Bones

Tom Jones

Ooh, me toms are clicking [Thanks to Hefin Gill]

Book

Captain Hook

I've read this captain.

Book

Fish Hook

I've read the new fish by Deighton.

Boots

Daisy Roots

You can't go out in the rain without your daisies.

Booze

Tom Cruise

I need some Tom [Thanks to Christopher Loosemore]

Boozer (pub)

Battle Cruiser

I'm going to pop round the battle before I go to the party [Thanks to
Peter Cotterell and Robert Manikiam]]

Boss

Joe Goss

Never trust a joe [Joe Goss was a talented boxer - Thanks to Sanor]

Boss

Pitch and Toss

My bloody pitch kept me late again.

Bottle

Aristotle

If you want milk, put the Ari on the doorstep. [Every now and again
they throw a curve at you. One person has suggested that, not being
familiar with Aristotle, early Cockney's might have assumed the name was
Harry Stottle! Heard from John Mahony who says that when one uses
the expression "lose your bottle" it means to lose the contents
of your arse, i.e. "he's shit it", but Ken Caleno says it means
to lose your courage (from Courage's bottled beer)]

Bra

Tung Chee Hwa

I'm off to buy a tung for the troubles birthday [Admittedly this isn't
in common usage - the person who submitted it is an ex-pat living in Hong
Kong - I just think it's neat that we Brits will try to bugger up the
language of every country we visit! Tung Chee Hwa is the Chief Executive
of Hong Kong.]

Braces

Airs and Graces

He's got his new airs on.

Brandy

Fine and Dandy

A small drop of fine would suit me.

Bread

Uncle Fred

Hey, mum. Can I have some Uncle Fred with this?

Bread (money)

Poppy Red

Where's he stashed his poppy [Thanks to Emyr Marks]

Breast

East West

‘ave a look at her easts [Thanks to Sanor]

Broke (financial)

Hearts of Oak

I'm skint mate. Bleedin' hearts.

Brother

Manhole Cover

My manhole cover is coming for a visit. [How does manhole cover rhyme
with brother you ask? Simple... if you pronounce brother as "bruvver"!]

Brother

One and t'other

'ere's me one and t'other now. [Thanks to Bernie Albert]

Brussel Sprout

Doubt

Without a brussel mate [Thanks to Chris Ducker]

Brussel Sprout

Shout

Give us a brussel when you're up to it.

Bug

Steam Tug

The bed was full of steamers [Thanks to Roger]

Bum

Kingdom Come

He just sat on his kingdom all day [Thanks to Alan Little]

Bunion

Spanish Onion

Oooh – ‘e’s stepped on me Spanish onion [Thanks to Kristin]

Bunk (bed)

Pineapple Chunk

I could use a couple of hours in the pineapple [Thanks to B. Hygate]

Burst (urinate)

Geoff Hurst

I'm dying for a Geoff. [Geoff Hurst's World Cup Final hat-trick v West
Germany at Wembley in 1966 and six goals v Sunderland (19.10.68) two years
later, have been woven into the fabric of football folklore. Thanks to
Stuart Burgess & Gordon Leel]

Bus

So Say All Of Us

hurry - here's the sosay [Thanks to Peter Duggan]

Butter

Stammer and Stutter

Extra stammer for me.

Butter

Talk and Mutter

Would you like some talk on your toast [Thanks to Barry Greenaway]

Cab (taxi)

Flounder & Dab

See if you can flag down a flounder [Thanks to Chris Webb]

Cab (taxi)

Sherbet Dab

'e's been on the sherbet for five years (driving a cab). [Thanks to
John Butt]

Cab (taxi)

Smash & Grab

Let's look for a smash and grab [Thanks to Simon Inger]

Café (pronounced caff)

Riff Raff

I'm off to the riff raff [Thanks to Mike Leith]

Cake

Sexton Blake

'ow about a nice slice of sexton? [Possible that Sexton Blake was a
detective in comic book stories (?) - thanks to Christopher Webb]

Candle

Harry Randall

Look at all the Harry's on his cake.

Cans (headphones)

Desperate Dans

'ere - put your desperates on [Thanks to Chris Hanley]

Car

Jam Jar

Bloody jam is down again.

Car

Kareem Abdul Jabbar

Bloody kareem is down again. [Kareem Abdul Jabbar is a basketball
player in the U.S. How he got into rhyming slang I'll never know! Thanks
to Richard English]

He's a right Ethan [Ethan Hunt is the main characters name
in the Mission: Impossible movies. Thanks to Steve Fuller]

C**t

Grumble and Grunt

He's after your grumble [Thanks to Chris Webb]

C**t

Struggle and Grunt

That ones a right struggle.

Cupboard

Mother Hubbard

There's nothing in the mother.

Curry

Ruby Murray

I'm going for a ruby. [Thanks to Mark Pearson][Ruby Murray was a singer
in Glasgow back in the 30's or 40's - thanks to Peter Cotterell for the
Ruby Murray info. N. Matthews tells me that Ruby was an Irish singer
(1935-1996) popular in the mid to late 1950's. Got a note from Sandy
Everitt who knew Ruby Murray – Ruby was a top recording star in the 1950’s
who achieved the rare feat of having five songs in the top 20 at one
time. Ruby died in 1996]

He got his hampton out in the pub last night [Thanks to
David Agius. John Parker adds: The best use of this was the
Goon Show which for a long time had a mythical character called Hugh
Hampton where the Hugh was mispronounced as Huge. This running joke was
totally missed by the BBC management, who would never have let anything
like that on the radio in the 50s/60s. Graham recalls that the
characters name was actually Hugh Jampton - same end result.]

Dick (penis)

Three Card Trick

She couldn't keep her jazz bands off my three card trick [Thanks to
Peter Norman]

Dictionary

Tom, Dick and Harry

I’ll just check the meaning in the tom [Thanks to Leon Walker]

Dinner

Jim Skinner

Is my Jim ready yet?

Dinner

Lilly and Skinner

What’s for lilly and skinner [Thanks to Jud Chimp]

Dinner

Michael Winner

I’m Hank Marvin. I could use some top Jackie for me Michael
Winner. [Thanks to Simon Rowan. Michael Winner is the food
critic for the Sunday Times]

Doddle (easy or straight forward)

Glenn Hoddle

That jobs a Glen Hoddle. [Glenn Hoddle is the coach of the English
football team replacing Terry Venables. Thanks to Dave Brown]

Dog

Cherry Hogg

My bloody cherry is off again.

Dole (welfare)

Ear’ole (Ear Hole)

If I get the tin tack I’m going on the ear’ole [Thanks to Paul
Liney]

Dole (welfare)

Nat King Cole

I've got to sign on the old Nat King [Thanks to Hywel Jones. Ray Wells
says it's also known as Old King Cole]

Dole (welfare)

Rock and Roll

'e hasn't worked a day in 'is life... 'e's always been on the rock and
roll. [Thanks to Mark Moule]

Dole (welfare)

Sausage Roll

He ain't worked in years - he's on the sausage. [Thanks to Martin
McKerrell]

Dollar

Oxford Scholar

Stupid horse cost me an Oxford. [Pre-war the dollar was worth just less
than 5 shillings, so an Oxford is worth 5 shillings or a crown - thanks to
Jim Williams]

Door

Henry Moore

They broke the 'enry down at number thirty two [Thanks to Alan Little]

Dope (marijuana)

Bob Hope

I think he’s been smoking a bit of Bob Hope [Thanks to Phil Woodford]

Draft

George Raft

There's a bit of a george in here. [Thanks to Jim Battman]

Drink

Tiddley Wink

Just one more tiddley and I'm off; or, He's popped down to the pub for
a tiddle.

Drugs

Persian Rugs

‘ere mate. Got any Persians? [Thanks to David Rolph]

Drunk

Elephant's Trunk

He shouldn't be driving! He's bloody elephant's.

Dump (shit)

Camel's Hump

Just going for a quick camels [Thanks to Kevin Lowther who tells me
this one was used in Abu Dhabi]

Dump (shit)

Donald Trump

I've got to go for a donald [Thanks to Peter Conway]

Dump (shit)

Forrest Gump

"Off out in 10 minutes?" "Yeah, just got to have a
Forrest first". [Thanks to Richard English]

Dyke (Lesbian)

Magnus Pike

She looks like a right Magnus [Thanks to Steve Vincent - Magnus Pike
was an 'off the wall' TV personality who would (and could) explain complex
scientific concepts to kids]

Dyke (lesbian)

Raleigh Bike

She’s a right Raleigh [Thanks to Claire Reed]

Dyke (Lesbian)

Three Wheel Trike

She's a bit of a three wheeler [Thanks to Barry Smith. Ray Wells
has heard the expression rusy bike as well]

Early

Liz Hurley

‘e’s never gotten here liz [Thanks to Paul Woodford

Earner

Bunsen Burner

The jobs not much but it's a nice little bunsen [Thanks to
Laurie Bamford]

Ears

Ten Speed Gears

Look at the size of 'is ten speeds [Thanks to Billy Wade]

Engineer

Ginger Beer

He knows his stuff. He is a ginger, after all.

Erection

Standing Election

He's holding a standing election in his callards [Thanks to
Buddy]

Evening Post

Beans on Toast

Go and buy the beans on toast will you son [Thanks to Hefin Gill]

Eyes

Mince Pies

She got beatiful minces.

Fable

Railway Timetable

(After someone tells you a tall tale) What’s he been doin’?
Reading a railway table. [Might also be substituted with bus
timetable – Thanks to Paul Island]

Wipe that look off your jem [Thanks to Chris Webb - Jem
Mace was a boxer in the late 19th century]

Facts

Brass Tacks

'Ere, you've got your brass wrong! [Thanks to Alan Little]

Fag (cigarette)

Cough and Drag

I’m going out for a quick cough and drag [Thanks to Trevor Baker]

Fag (cigarette)

Harry Wragg

Have you got a harry? [Frank Baynham reports that Harry Wragg was a
famous jockey]

Fag (cigarette)

Melvynn Bragg

Oi, mate. Can I scrounge a melvynn of you [Thanks to Mark Holmans who
reports that Melvynn was a television host]

Fag (cigarette)

Oily Rag

Give us an oily. [Thanks to David Hughes]

Fag (cigarette)

Toe Rag / Tow Rag

Lend us a sprarsy - I wanna get some toe-rags [Thanks to Mike Smith.
Mike says he thinks toe-rags refer to the rags people used to wrap around
their feet when they didn't have shoes… we used to call our socks
toe-rags which is probably the same origin. He also says his old dad used
to call some people a toe-rag and suspects it might have been an insult
(reference to fag = queer).] [Martin McKerrell adds that toe rag referred
to a small time petty thief, in his words "the sort of dirty little
toe rag who would live next door and break into your house and nick the
Christmas presents".] [Gillian adds "term is commonly used, at
least in Scotland, meaning just a bit stronger than "rascal" and
probably spelled without the e: 'You little torag.' I always thought it
did come from terms used to refer to travelling people."][And Michael
Kendix adds: I heard that "Toe rag" came from "Taureg"
a nomadic people living in the Arabian desert, regarded by colonial powers
as "low life's". So, it would be insulting to refer to
someone as a "Toe rag", which, as you say, could be used to
describe a ne'er do well! And Paul offers a somewhat disturbing
image: In the times of Nelsons navy paper was too expensive to use in the
head (toilet) and so sailors would get a short length of rope (toe) and
unravel it until it resemble rags (toe-rag), this would then be used
instead of paper and had the added benefit that t could be washed and
re-used.]

Fake

Sexton Blake

He wears a Cartier but it's a sexton [Thanks to Martyn Tracy. See also
'Sexton Blake-cake']

Fanny

Auntie Annie

She’s just sitting at home on her Auntie Annie [Thanks to “the boys
at CHS]

Fanny

Jack and Danny

She's just sitting at home on her Jack and Danny [Thanks to Glenn
Collignon]

Farmer (see usage)

Arnold Palmer

'e's a right Arnold [Thanks to Nick Williams. I love this one - it
refers to a golfer who spends a lot of time in the long grass around a
course]

Farrahs (trousers)

Bow and Arrows

Nice pair of bow and arrows [Use your best Cockney accent here.
The reference is to Farrah slacks – Thanks to Simon Mahon]

Fart

D'Oyly Carte

Have you done a d’oyly? [D’Oyly Carte is a light opera company –
thanks to David Poulten]

Fart

Horse and Cart

Have you just horse & carted? [Thanks to Paul Beer]

Fart

Orson (i.e. Horse ‘n Cart)

He’s dropped an orson [Thanks to Paul Gardner]

Fart

Raspberry Tart

He blew a raspberry. [Thanks to Tobias Bard]

Favour

Cheesy Quaver

Do us a cheesy, put it on your web site. [Thanks to Ed Wright]

Feel

Orange Peel

I fancy an orange of her Bristols! [Thanks to Chris Webb)

Feet

Dogs Meat

Me dogs are barking [Meaning my feet are tired.
Thanks to Sparky]

Feet

Plates of Meat

Get your plates of the table.

Fibs (lies)

Scott Gibbs

He’s been telling scotts again [Scott Gibbs is a rugby star –
thanks to Hefin Gill]

Fight

Read and Write

He'd rather read than walk away.

Fine

Calvin Klein

I'm calvin today. [Thanks to Tony Alderton]

Fish

Lilian Gish

Good day at the stream. Got a pair of Lilian's.

Fist

Oliver Twist

Next thing I know he's got his Oliver in my face.

Fiver (£5 note)

Lady Godiva

Ere, that bloke still owes me lady! [Thanks to Peter Cotterell]

Fiver (£5 note)

Taxi Driver

'ere - you owe me a taxi [Thanks to David]

Flares (wide bottom trousers)

Lionel Blaire

Got on his best lionels for the evening. [Lionel Blaire is a performer.
Thanks to Josh Holmes]

Flash

Lemon Dash

Don’t act so lemon [Thanks to Simon Mahon]

Flash (natty)

Harry Dash

'e was alway a bit of an 'arry [Thanks to Sparky James]

Flowers

April Showers

I forgot it was my anniversary, so I picked some aprils on the way
home.

Flying Squad

Sweeney Todd

Here comes the Sweeney [the Flying Squad are the police]

Fork

Duke of York

Keep your fingers out of your grub, man. Use a duke [Thanks to
Sparky James]

Function

Spaghetti Junction

Garage

Steve Claridge

I've just gotta go down the Steve for some petrol [Thanks to Jon
Simmons. It helps if you realize that garage, which commonly rhymes with
mirage in North America, more usually rhymes with carriage in Britain. A
great Tony Hancock piece has him trying to act all condescending and
pronouncing it the American way, confusing the ears off a local constable.
Steve Claridge is a venerable striker, late of Leicester.]

Gargle (drunk)

Arthur Scargill

'e's right Authur'd [Thanks to John Claffey]

Gay (homosexual)

Bale of Hay

Don't bother Britany - he's bale. [Thanks to Uncle Custard who also
provided the example of usage… just who do you suppose Britany is?]

Gay (homosexual)

Doctor Dre

E’s a bit of a doctor [Dr. Dre is a rap artist – Thanks to Will
Sowden]

Gay (homosexual)

Finlay Quaye

That boozer is Finlay ub [Thanks to Stuart Taylor –Finlay Quaye
is a musician]

Gay (homosexual)

First of May

He's a right first [Thanks to Jeremy Williams]

Gay (homosexual)

Ted Ray

He's a bit Ted. [Ted Ray was an actor/comedian in the sixties. This
association actually comes from a particularly bad movie "My Wife's
Family" where he played a character called Jack Gay. Thanks to Stuart
Burgess & Gordon Leel]

Geezer

Fridge & Freezer

He’s a right fridge [Thanks to Tomma]

Geezer

Ice Cream Freezer

'e's not a bad old ice cream [Thanks to Vince Scott]

Geezer

Julius Caesar

'ere, look at the 'ampsteads on that Julius [Thanks to Dudley]

Geezer

Lemon Squeezer

I saw that lemon we met in the rub-a-dub last night [Thanks to Mark
Foster]

Ghost

Pillar and Post

Looks like he’s seen a pillar [Thanks to Neil Gemmill]

Gin

Mother's Ruin

Another mothers would sit well.

Gin

Needle and Pin

I'll have a small needle and tonic.

Gin

Nose and Chin

I'll have a drop of nose and chin [Thanks to Philip Hart]

Gin

Thick & Thin

I enjoy a bit of thick and thin [Thanks to Beanage]

Gin

Vera Lynn

I'll have one more Vera before I hit the frog and toad. [Thanks to Mark
Hamnett]

Girl

Cadbury Swirl

Come over here, me old Cadbury [Thanks to Jonathan Burroughs]

Girl

Twist and Twirl

She looks like a nice twist [Thanks to Alan Little]

Git (twit)

Strawberry Split

That bloke's a right strawberry [Thanks to Dennis Wise]

Gloves

Turtle Dove's

Where's me turtle dove's [Thanks to John Ioannou]

Go

Scapa Flow

Scapa! [Actually pronounced 'Scarper' - just one example of not being
satisfied with the slang, they then mispronounce the word to thoroughly
confuse everyone. Robert Benoist sent me the following which I found
interesting: Scapa Floe was a Royal Naval base established in the
20th Century and famous for the scuttling of the German fleet in 1919 and
a subsequent WW11 battle. Before 1919 it is doubtful whether anyone in the
country let alone cockneys would have heard of it.

In Mayhew's London Labour and the London Poor (vol 3 1851) there is a
chapter on Punch Talk (basically the slang language used by traveling
Italian Punch and Judy men and entertainers). This slang contains both
English and Italian roots. In Punch Talk "To get away quickly"
e.g. from the police or authority is spoken and written as scarper. This
comes from the Italian Scappare. Punch talk formed one of the roots of
Polari which also incorporated rhyming slang and was used first by the
east end street traders, and then the west end street traders, and finally
by homosexuals in the 40's and 50's. There are almost as many Polari
expressions currently used as there are rhyming slang. It is probable that
after 1919 it was imagined that the word had originated in the rhyming
slang after Scapa Floe but I think the evidence firmly points to its
Italian Origins.]

'E's not a bad bloke for a bubble. [Bubble and squeak is a uniquely
British dish of fried mashed potatoes and something green (usually
cabbage, but left over brussel sprouts work well). Thanks to Mark
Pearson]

Guts (stomach)

Newington Butts

Me Newingtons are playing me up. [Thanks to Mark Crowe and Martin
McKerrell - Michael Faraday (the magnet fellow) born in Newington Butts,
the area of London now known as the Elephant and Castle]

Gutter

Bread and Butter

Found him laying in the bread and butter. [Usually full slang
expression is used]

Gym

Fatboy Slim

I’m going down to the fatboy [Fatboy Slim is a recording artist –
thanks to Martin Rowe]

Haddock

Fanny Craddock

Fanny and chips for supper? [Thanks to Sparky James]

Hair

Barnet Fair

She must be going out - she's got her Barnet done.

Hair

Biffo the Bear

Me biffo’s not looking the best today [Biffo the Bear was on the
cover of Beano from 1948 to 1974. Thanks to Gillian White]

Hair

Bonney Fair

She's got beautiful shiny bonney.

Half (a pint)

Cow and Calf

I could use a cow and calf [Thanks to Nick Williams. He reports that
there's a pub in Grenoside (near Sheffield) called the Cow and Calf]

I'm forever buy clothes for the saucepan lids [Thanks to Peter
Cotterell - see also 'Yid']

Kids

Teapot Lids

I'm taking my little teapot to country.

Kids

Tin Lids

I can't put me foot down without stepping on one of the tin lids.
[Thanks to Bernie Albert]

Kiss

Heavenly Bliss

C’mon me turtle, give us an ‘eavenly [Thanks to Rebecca Coonan]

Kiss

Hit and Miss

How about a bit of hit and miss [Thanks to Doosh]

Knackered (tired)

Cream Crackered

I'm cream crackered, mate. [Thanks to David Carruthers]

Knackered (tired)

Kerry Packer

I'm right Kerry'd [Thanks to David Bennett - Kerry Packer is an
Australian media magnate (and bleeding rich!)]

Knackers (testicles)

Jacobs Crackers

That toe-rag kicked me in the Jacobs [Thanks to Bryan Rayner]

Knees

Biscuits and Cheese

I've been on my biscuits all day.

Knickers

Alan Whickers

The 'lastics gone in me alans. [Alan Whicker used to host a TV
programme called Whickers World - Thanks to Peter Cotterell]

Knob (penis)

Uncle Bob

‘e’s a bit proud of his Uncle Bob [Thanks to “the boys at CHS”]

Kraut (German)

Rainbow Trout

Bloody rainbows beat us at football last night! [Thanks to Alex Gordon]

Lager

Forsythe Saga

Mines a forsythe [Thanks to Den Frankham]

Lager

Mick Jagger

How about a couple of Mick Jaggers over here? [Thanks to Colin Reid]

Lark (fun)

Tufnell Park

Always one for a tufnell [Thanks to Michael Mundy]

Late

Cilla Black

You’re a bit Cilla today, mate [Thanks to Justyn Olby who explains
that this comes from Cilla Black’s Blind Date TV programme that was
popular]

Late

Terry Waite

You’re a bit Terry Waite [Thanks to Paul Woodford]

Later

Baked Potato

I'll see ya baked. [Thanks to Eric Van Zanten]

Later

Christian Slater

See you Christian Slater [Thanks to Kris Grissom]

Laugh

Bubble Bath

You're 'avin a bubble aren't ya? [Thanks to Neil Churchard]

Laugh

Cows Calf

Your having a cows calf, ain't you [Thanks to Graham Todd]

Laugh

Giraffe

You're havin' a giraffe, mate. [Thanks to Ed Balch]

Laugh

Steffi Graf

You're having a Steffi [Thanks to Peter Grewal]

Laugh

Turkish Bath

He's havin' a turkish. [Thanks to Chris Baylis]

Laugh

Wally's Scarf

He's having a wally [Thanks to Keith Cole]

Legs

Bacon and Eggs

Lovely set of bacons [James Robinson notes that this can be Ham &
Eggs as well].

Legs

Dolly Pegs

'ave a butchers at the dollies on 'er [This comes from the old style
wooden clothes pegs that little girls used to draw faces on and make
little dresses and hats/hair for, hence the dolly peg. Thanks to Simon]

Legs

Mumbley Pegs

Stand on your own mumbleys [Thanks to Sanor]

Legs

Nutmegs

He was nutmegged [this is a common football term for when the ball is
kicked between an opponents legs and then the other player runs around to
get control of the ball again – thanks to Allen Keep]

Legs

Pins and Pegs

I was so surprised I nearly fell off me pins [Thanks to
Sparky James]

Legs

Scotch Pegs

Sit down and take a load off your pegs. [For whatever reason, the
common usage is the rhyming word rather than the first]

Leicester Square

Euan Blair

We're getting off the train at Euan Blair station [Thanks to Vix.
Mark points out that Euan Blair (Prime minister's underage son) was found
drunk by police in Leicester Square earlier this year. Hence the
slang.]

Lesbian

West End Thespian

She's a lovely girl but she is west end, you know. [Thanks to Richard
English]

Liar

Bob Cryer

Shut up you Bob - yer talking out yer aris [Sergeant Bob Cryer is a
character in "The Bill". Thanks to Kelly Webb]

Liar

Dunlop Tyre

‘e’s a bit of a dunlop [Thanks to Donald Burk]

Liar

Holy Friar

‘e’s a bit of a holy friar [Thanks to Donald Burk]

Lies

Pork Pies

Blimey - he gets two pigs (beers) in him and he starts telling porkies.

Life

Nelly Duff

Not on your nelly, mate. [The expression 'not on your
nelly', meaning 'not on your life' (meaning that the person would never do
something), is from Nelly Duff which rhymes with puff which means breath
which is another way of saying life... convoluted little devil,
isn't it? From everything I researched it would seem Nelly Duff was
a fictional character but this is not certain. Thanks to Cathleen
Kelly]

Life (term)

Porridge Knife

'e's doing a stay in the porridge. [Thanks to Alan Morgan]

Liver

Cheerful Giver

Lovely - cheerful for dinner tonight. [Mike King has written to say
that he that the slang for liver comes from "The Lord loves a
cheerful giver", which was then shortened to Lord... Lovely - we're
have the Lord for dinner tonight.]

Liver

Swanee River

We're having swanee for dinner again? [Thanks to John Gibson who
actually heard this in an interview with Ian Drury who, talking about his
colon cancer, said, "... it's in me swanee now".]

That's your hopping mate. [Meaning, that's all you get. Thanks to James
Vosper who says that this may have originated with Londoners who traveled
to Kent and other districts to gather hops for beer]

Love

Turtle Dove

All right me old turtle [Thanks to Vince Scott]

Luck

Donald Duck

How's your Donald? [Thanks to Charly Large]

Luck

Friar Tuck

'E always had a bit of friar tuck. [Thanks to Martyn Tracy]

Mad

Mum and Dad

He's a bit mum and dad. [Thanks to Louis and Natalie Brinks]

Marriage

Horse and Carriage

e's off to his 'orse and carriage [Thanks to Emma]

Married

Cash and Carried

Poor bloke got cashed on the weekend.

Matches

Cuts and Scratches

Do you have any cuts?

Mate

China Plate

How are you, my old china?

Mate

Garden Gate

He’s an old garden gate from school [Thanks to Martin Hillier]

Meetin' (meeting)

Buster Keaton

We'll see you at the Buster [Thanks to Kris Grissom]

Mental

Radio Rental

He's a bit radio [Thanks to Louis and Natalie Brinks]

Mental (crazy)

Chicken Oriental

It was chicken oriental down the nuclear on Friday night [Thanks to
Phil Vondra]

Merry

Tom and Jerry

E’s a tommy bloke [Thanks to Sparky James]

Mess

Elliot Ness

My drum's a right Elliot [Thanks to Nick Williams]

Milk

Acker Bilk

Would you like Acker in your coffee? [Thanks to Barry Greenaway. Acker
Bilk (born Bernard Stanley Bilk) was born in 1929 is a master of the
clarinet and leader of the Paramount Jazz Band. Interestingly, his
nickname Acker is a Somerset term meaning friend or mate]

Mind

Chinese Blind

You're out of you little chinese mate. [Thanks to Danny O'Sullivan]

Miss

Cuddle and Kiss

She's a cute little cuddle.

Missus (Mrs)

Love and Kisses

Where did your love and kisses go? [Thanks to Alan Little]

Missus (Mrs)

Plates and Dishes

How's the plates getting on then? [Thanks to Alan Little]

Money

Bees and Honey

Can't go in there without any bees.

Money

Bread and Honey

Let's drink with him - he's got bread. [This one has enjoyed very
common usage]

Money

Bugs Bunny

I've got some Bugs bunny in me sky rocket and I'm off down the
rub-a-dub-dub. [Thanks to Nigel Ritson]

Motor (car)

Haddock and Bloater

I’ve gone and locked me keys in the haddock [Thanks to Alistair
Steadman]

Mouth

North and South

I gave him a punch up the north.

Mug (chump)

Toby Jug

I'm tired of people taking me for a toby [Thanks to Roger Gillespie]

Neck

Bushel and Peck

He's got a bushel like tree trunk.

Neck

Gregory Peck

Wind you Gregory in [Thanks to Graham Todd]

Nerves

West Ham Reserves

e's got a bad case of the West Ham's [Thanks to Martin Elliot]

News

Wooden Pews

Did you catch the wooden pews yesterday [Thanks to LO]

Nick (prison)

Shovel and Pick

He's spending a bit of time in the shovel. [Thanks to John Butt]

Nightmare

Lionel Blaire

I'm havin' a right lionel [Lionel Blaire is a performer. Thanks to
Jonathan Harris]

Nightmare

Weston-Super-Mare

Went for an interview yesterday - it was a total Weston-Super [Weston
Super Mare is the main coastal resort of North Somerset. Thanks to
Christian Martinsen]

Nipple

Raspberry Ripple

Look at the thup'neys on her, raspberries like cigar buts! [Can also
mean cripple. Thanks to Dave Brown]

Nippy (cold)

George and Zippy

It’s a bit George [Thanks to Sam Murray – Eli Davenport reports
that George & Zippy are from an old BBC kids show called Rainbow]

Noise

Box of Toys

Hold your box - they can hear you miles away!

Nose

Fireman's Hose

Look at the size of his fireman's [Thanks to Keith Cole]

Nose

Fray Bentos

Look at the Fray Bentos on that poor sod [Fray Bentos is a
maker of a fabulous Steak & Kidney Pie (and other treats).
Thanks to Ray Wells]

Nose

I Suppose

That rotten drunk gave me a clip on me I suppose.

Nose

Irish Rose

She gave me a kiss on my Irish.

Nun

Current Bun

My meanest teachers were currents [Thanks to Aziz McMahon]

Nutter (crazy)

Roll and Butter

That blokes a bloody roland [Like titfer meaning hat, this expression
uses the first two words rather than just the first. Thanks to Rhian]

Off (take off, leave)

Frank Bough

I'm gonna do the Frank [see 'scoff'. Frank Bough was
a television personality - Thanks to Tom Kimber]

Old Man (Father or Husband)

Pot and Pan

I was talking to me old pot just yesterday. [Thanks to Bernie Albert
and Colin]

On My Own

Toblerone

He's over there on his toblerone [Thanks to Laura Clifford

Out of Order

Allan Border

He's bang Allan [used when someone does something to another person
that is not looked upon favourably. Allan Border was the Australian
cricket captain in the late 80's/early 90's so we now have our first
example of international rhyming slang.]

Paddy

Tea Caddy

Did you know Kevin is a tea caddy? [Thanks to Kevin Moynihan]

Pager

John Major

Me John Major’s just gone off [Thanks to Ian Nelson]

Pakistani

Bacon Sarnie

They've hired a new bloke at the shop - he's a bacon [Thanks to
Nathaniel Espino. Sarnie is a slang term for sandwich (and if you haven't
eaten a cold bacon sandwich you haven't lived. Nathaniel notes that this
expression may be considered offensive]

Pakistani

Reg Varney

Martin's new bird's a Reg [Thanks to Jonny Morris. Reg played Stan
Butler on 'On the Buses', one of the 1970's BritComs]

Pants

Adam Ant

Get your adam’s on [Thanks to Mike Leith]

Pants

Surrey & Hants

Blimey, I have no clean surreys [Thanks to Oliver Dick]

Paper (newspaper)

Linen Draper

Has the morning linen come yet?

Parcel

Elephant and Castle

Wot you got ‘ere then, a bleedin’ elephant [Thanks to Paul Island]

Park

Noah's Ark

I'm taking my misses to the Noah.

Party

Moriarty

Mental morry mate [Thanks to Simon Mahon]

Party

Russell Harty

I've phoned for a sherbert to take us to the Russell [Thanks to Jo
Walker - Russell Harty is a TV host]]

Peas

John Cleese

Eat yer John Cleese - they're good for you [Thank to Mike Leith]

Peas

Knobbly Knees

We’re havin’ sexton and knobblies [Thanks to Mathew]

Pee

Gypsy Rose Lee

I’m off for a gypsy [Thanks to John Trimmer]

Pest

Fred West

Here comes that Fred West again [Fred West was and alleged
mass murderer found hanged in his jail sail in 1995. Thanks to Kevin
Wade]

Tonic

Philharmonic

I'll have a Vera and Phil (gin and tonic) [Thanks to Michael Hawkins]

Phone

Al Capone

He’s always on the al capone [Thanks to Mike Agnes]

Phone

Dog and Bone

She's always on the dog.

Piano

Joanna

He sparkles on the joanna. [Just to confuse you, they mispronounce the
word you're trying say, so instead of 'piano' they call it a 'piana']

Pictures

Dolly Mixtures

Going out to the Dolly Mixtures tonight [Thanks to Philip Hart - Dolly
Mixtures are ]

Piddle (urinate)

Jimmy Riddle

I've had three pints - I could use a jimmy.

Piles

Nuremberg Trials

Me Nuremberg's are really playing me up [Thanks to Barry Greenaway]

Piles (hemorrhoids)

Chalfont St Giles

Me chalfonts are playing up. [Thanks to Paul Costello]

Piles (hemorrhoids)

Farmer Giles

Blimey, I ain't 'alf suffering from me farmers [Thanks to David Hughes]

Piles (hemorrhoids)

Nobby Stiles

Me nobbies are acting up again [Nobby Stiles was a great footballer
from years gone by - Thanks to David Hughes]

Piles (hemorrhoids)

Rockford Files

Me Jim Rockford's are giving me gip! [Jim Rockford was the central
character in the TV show The Rockford Files. Thanks to Paul Darbyshire]

I must remember to take my strawberry tonight [Thanks to
Jonathan Wills]

Pills

Jack 'n Jills

Where's me Jack n Jills [Thanks to Brian Kemp]

Pills

Mick Mills

‘e’s always ‘ad a weakness for the Mick Mills [Thanks to Phil
Woodford. Mick Mills played for Ipswich in the ‘70s]

Pinch (steal)

Half Inch

Someone's half-inched me pint! [Thanks to Mark Schofield]

Pipe

Cherry Ripe

He does a cherry [Cherry Ripe is an Australian chocolate
bar - although this may be Aussie slang rather than Cockney I've included
it since I've received so many submissions for it. Thanks to Ben
Murphy et al]

Piss

Arthur Bliss

I'm just popping out for an Arthur [Arthur Bliss was a famous English
composer (1891-1975). Thanks to Robert Harper]

Piss

Gypsy's Kiss

Blimey - no more beer till I've 'ad a gypsy's.

Piss

Hit and Miss

I've got to have a hit before we go out.

Piss (Make fun of)

Mickey Bliss

He’s always taking the mickey out of someone [Mickey is short for a
mythical 'Mickey Bliss,' providing the rhyme for 'piss and has been in
widespread use since the late 1940s. The original idea was that of
deflating someone, recalling the description of a self-important blusterer
as 'all piss and wind.' Thanks to Brown Terriers]

Pissed (angry)

Hit List

I'm really hit today [Thanks to Michael G]

Pissed (drunk)

Brahms and Liszt

He's well Brahms and Liszt , don't give him any more to drink. [Thanks
to Ray Davis. Sometimes the expression "Mozart & Liszt is
used.]

Pissed (drunk)

Oliver Twist

I 'ad one over the eight last night and got completely Olivered.
[Thanks to Peter Cotterell]

Pissed (drunk)

Schindlers List

I'm a bit schindlers after a too many forsythes [Thanks to Den Frankham]

Pissed (drunk)

Scotch Mist

'e was completely scotch mist last night. [Thanks to Alan Little.
Thanks to Marie Gordon for the example of usage.]

Plate

Alexander the Great

Don’t try and scarper before you’ve washed those alexanders [Thanks
to Paul Island]

Play

Grass & Hay

Let's grass and hay down the park [Thanks to Oliver Nunn]

Pocket

Lucy Locket

Keep it in your Lucy.

Pocket

Sky Rocket

I've got nothing in my skies.

Poof (homosexual)

Iron Hoof

He's a bit of an iron. [Also Horses Hoof]

Poof (homosexual)

Tin Roof

I think he might be a tin roof [Thanks to Kron]

Porn

Frankie Vaughan

Is there any Frankie on the telly tonight? [Thanks to Jason Rankin]

Porn

Johnny Vaughn

I enjoy a bit of Johnny [Johnny Vaughn was the star of The Big
Breakfast – thanks to Dan Longhurst]

Powder (cocaine)

Nikki Lauder

He's off doing a bit of Nikki [Thanks to Jim Smith)

Prat (arse)

Paper Hat

He's a bit of a paper [Thanks to Justin Semmens]

Prayer

Weavers' Chair

Haven't got a weaver's of getting into her alans. [Thanks to Cormac
Kennedy. A weaver's chair has a low profile back allowing free movement of
the arms.]

Prick

Hampton Wick

He gets on my wick. [Don't even try to understand this one - just
accept it]

Pride

Jekyll and Hyde

You lost your jekyll or something? [Thanks to Joe Mills]

Prison

Boom and Mizzen

'e's off to the boom for a bit. [Thanks to Mike Shepherd]

Pub

Nuclear Sub

I'll meet you down the nuclear at 5 o'clock [Thanks to Robert Lynch]

Pub

Rub-a-dub-dub

I'm off to the rub-a-dub-dub. [Comes from the children's rhyme
Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub...]

Pube (pubic hair)

Rubric's Cube

When your having a shower make sure you wash your rubric's [Thanks to
Andrew Turner]

Puff (marijuana)

Mickey Duff

Here, mate. Got any Mickey? [Thanks to Nortsqaf2]

Punter (gambler or odds maker)

Hillman Hunter

‘ere comes another load of Hillmans [the Hillman was a fine auto
introduced in 1966. Thanks to Steve Trice]

Purse

Gypsy's Curse

Someone's alf-inched me gypsy [Thanks to Martin Grove]

Quarter

Farmers Daughter

My Nan want me to get her three farmers of rosie (3/4 lb of tea)
[Thanks to Peter Summersgill]

Queen (homosexual)

Torvill & Dean

He’s a right old torvill [Thanks to Tony Johnson]

Queer (homosexual)

Brighton Pier

That blokes a bit of a Brighton [Thanks to S. Sexton]

Queer (homosexual)

Ginger Beer

He's a bit ginger [Thanks to Steve Robinson. See
Queer (odd) below]

Queer (homosexual)

King Lear

e's a bit King Lear. [Thanks to Leslie Munday]

Queer (odd)

Ginger Beer

I don't know about that - sounds a bit ginger. [Heard from Chris
and Colin who have heard the expression "very glass", meaning
very strange (from Glass of Beer), based on this rhyme. Also, see
Queer (homosexual) above]

Quid

Bin Lid

Lend us a bin [Thanks to Richard Hall]

Quid

Teapot Lid

I'm down a teapot already.

Rail

Toby Ale

'e's traveling by toby.

Railway Guard

Christmas Card

Look out for the christmas [Thanks to Sparky James]

Rain

Pleasure and Pain

Any more pleasure and we'll be swimming.

Rave (dance)

Comedy Dave

You coming to the comedy? [Comedy Dave is a Radio 1 DJ – Thanks to
Hefin Gill]

Readies (pound notes)

Nelson Eddy's

'e's got a pile of nelsons! [Thanks to Julia Jones]

Rent

Burton on Trent

They've raised my burton again.

Rent

Clark Kent

I'm having a tough time coming up with me Clark [Thanks to Richard
Robinson]

Rent

Duke of Kent

I can't afford to pay the Duke of Kent this week [Thanks to Mike Smith]

Rich

Scratch & Itch

'e's got scratch [Thanks to Richard Lee]

Right

Isle of Wight

Down the High Road to the lights and make an Isle. [Thanks to Daniel
Maurer. Also seen used as slang for "all right" but not in
common usage]

River

Shake and Shiver

He jumped right into the shake [Thanks to Alan Little]

Road

Frog and Toad

Don't ride your bike on the frog. [See Road = Kermit]

Road

Kermit

'e took off down the kermit. [From Kermit the Frog = frog and toad =
road. Thanks to Gavin Wallace]

Rotten

Dot Cotton

I’m feeling a bit dot [Dot Cotton is a character from Eastenders –
thanks to Rachel Walmsley]

Row (argument)

Barn Owl

Went up to the dole office today. 'Ad a bit of a barney with the geezer
behind the desk. [Thanks to Peter Cotterell][[Not satisfied with the
slang, the word is extended to 'Barney' to thoroughly confuse everyone]

Row (argument)

Bull and Cow

Had a right bull with my misses last night.

Rum

Tom Thumb

A wee bit of Tom and I'm off.

Sack (fired)

Tin Tack

He got the tin tack the other day [Thanks to Duncan Whitesmith]

Saloon Bar

Balloon Car

I'll be at the balloon.

Sauce

Dead Horse

Pass the dead horse [Thanks to Brad Spencer]

Scar

Mars Bar

I fell down the apple and pears trying to answer the dog & bone,
hit my head and ended up with a mars bar [Thanks to David Bancroft]

Scoff (food)

Frank Bough

I’m going to get some frank [see 'off'. Frank Bough was a
television personality – thanks to Martin Brewer]

Score

Bobby Moore

You know the Bobby [Bobby Moore was a great footballer who died in
1993. Thanks to Graham Todd]

Score

Hampden Roar

You know the hampden [Thanks to Andrew Mkandawire who goes on to
explain that the Hampden Roar is is a commonly used term that refers to
the noise made when fans cheer on Scotland at Hampden Park]

Score (£20)

Apple Core

I gave me last apple to that old paraffin [Thanks to Kevin Moynihan]

Scotch

Gold Watch

I'll have a gold watch and ten [Thanks to Del Sinnott]

Scotch

Pimple and Botch

He enjoys a good pimple.

Scotch (Whisky)

Gold Watch

'E enjoys his gold watch [Thanks to Martyn Tracy]

Scouser (Liverpudlian)

Mickey Mouser

'E's a mickey mouser [Refers to someone from Liverpool. Thanks to
César Lozano]

Scouts

Brussel Sprouts

He's always been a brussel.

Scran (food)

Jackie Chan

I’m Hank Marvin. I could use some top Jackie for me Michael
Winner [Thanks to Simon Rowan]

Sex

Posh ‘n Becks

Had a bit of posh with the missus last night [Thanks to Iain Sisson–
Posh refers to Posh Spice (Victoria Adams) of the Spice Girls while Becks
refers to David Beckham, the famous footballer she married. Another
example of Rhyming Slang evolving to reflect the times. See also
Decks - Posh ‘n Becks]

Shabby

Westminster Abbey

He's turned out a bit westminster today [Thanks to Sparky James]

Shag

Billy Bragg

He's off for a billy [Billy Bragg is a
singer/songwriter. Thanks to Robert Christian]

Shank (golf term)

J. R.

You really JR'd that one mate.
[Abbreviated reference to J. Arthur Rank. In golf, a shank is a ball
that goes in a decidedly unexpected direction. Thanks to Bern
Summers]

Shave

Chas and Dave

I'm off for a chas [Thanks to Conor Keeling]

Shave

Dig in the Grave

A quick shower and dig and I'll be ready to go.

Shiner (black eye)

Ocean Liner

I punched him right in the mincer and gave him an ocean liner [Thanks
to a somewhat violent Claire Reed]

Shirt

Dicky Dirt

Put your dicky dirt on before the company gets here.

Shirt

Uncle Bert

I've got to press my uncle.

Shit

Brace and Bit

Just off or a brace [Thanks to P Loynd]

Shit

Brad Pitt

I right need a Brad Pitt [Thanks to Big Bill]

Shit

Eartha Kitt

I'm going for an Eartha [See also 'Tit' - Thanks to Peter Cotterell for
this variation]

Shit

Tom Tit

I'm going for a Tom Tit. [Thanks to David Carruthers.]

Shite

Tom Kite

I’m off for a tom [Thanks to Denis Daly]

Shite

Turkish Delight

They’re playing completely Turkish today [Thanks to Paul Island]

Shite (shit)

Barry White

I need a Barry White [Thanks to Oli Hickman]

Shits (diarrhoea)

Two-Bob Bits

I’ve got a real case of the two-bob bits [Thanks to Steven Elder]

Shitter (rectum)

Council Gritter

When I sat down there was a pin on my chair! Right up the council!
[Thanks to Uncle Custard. He reports that a council gritter is the machine
that comes around and puts grit on icy roads]

Shitter (rectum)

Gary Glitter

He kicked him right up the Gary [Thanks to Neil Churchard]

Shitter (toilet or rectum)

Rick Whitter

Back in a sec - I'm off to the rick [Rick Whitter is a singer in the
group Shed7 - thanks to Dan Collins and Keith Uden]

She's a bit of an oily rag [Oily Rag is also slang for
fag (cigarette). One can't help but wonder how many times a simply
"Can you spot me an oily?" might have been misinterpreted.
Thanks to Matthew Wilson]

Slag (prostitute)

Toe Rag / Tow Rag

She’s a right toe rag [Thanks to Chris Roberts. Mike Lyons
adds: It should be 'Tow Rag'. When a car towed another in times
past, (broken down car) behind it, it was/is common practice to tie a
piece of rag halfway along the rope between the two vehicles. This was to
indicate the rope's presence to pedestriams, particularly when stopped in
traffic. (i.e. to stop people tripping over it when walking between the
cars). As this piece of rag was literally dragging or 'always in'
the dirt all the time, it was compared with someone who was shifty,
untrustworthy, criminal, loafer, a general 'low life'. Such a person
was called a tow rag, example "don't trust him, he's a bit of a tow
rag".] Thus, a tow rag could refer to a male or female of
dubious character.

Slap

Watford Gap

I’m gonna give you a Watford ‘round yer chevy [Thanks to Glenn
Buss]

Slash (piss)

Pat Cash

I'm absolutely dying for a Pat Cash [Thanks to Bryan Rowe]

Slash (piss)

Pie and Mash

I’m poppin’ out for a pie and mash [Thanks to Paul Ingram]

Sleep

Bo-Peep

What I need is a good bo-peep. [Thanks to Bernie Albert]

Sleep

Sooty and Sweep

You need a bit of sooty [Thanks to John Gowland]

Smell

Aunt Nell

He don't half Aunt Nell [Thanks to Jo Miller]

Smoke (cigarette)

Laugh and Joke

I’m going for a laugh [Thanks to Winston Gutkowski]

Sneeze

Bread and Cheese

I hate allergies - one good bread after another.

Snide

Jeckyll and Hyde

‘e’s a bit Jeckyll [Thanks to Simon Mahon]

Snout (cigarette)

Salmon and Trout

'Ere mate, give us a salmon, I'm right out. [Thanks to Peter Cotterell]
[If you know where the expression 'snout' for cigarette comes from I'd
like to include it][ [Martin McKerrell has written that Snout comes from
snout rag meaning handkerchief (I'm thinking snot rag - JA) so Snout Rag =
Fag = cigarrette. Also, Richard Beveridge has suggested that the term
snout comes from prison life when the prisoners, who would take their
daily exercise in silence, would signal a tobacco supplier that he needed
cigarettes by touching his nose.] - See "ins and outs"

Snouts (Cigarettes)

Ins and Outs

'ere mate, got any ins and outs? [Thanks to James Hotston] (See Salmon
and Trout)

I'm bloody Hank Marvin. I haven't eaten all day [Hank Marvin was the
guitarist for The Shadows from the 1960's to the 1990's. Thanks to Neil
Churchard]

Starvin'

Lee Marvin

I'm Lee Marvin [Thanks to Peter Conway who wrote all the way from Dubai
- he adds that if you're really hungry you could say, "I'm Hank, and
his brother Lee". Lee Marvin was an American actor. See other entry
for starvin' (Hank Marvin). And no - they're not related.]

State (anguish)

Two and Eight

He's in a two and eight over it. [Usually the full slang expression is
used]

This pub is full of Texas Rangers these days [Thanks to Danny Robinson]

Stray

Gamma Ray

That Mary's a bit of a gamma [Thanks to Dan Collins and Keith Uden]

Street

Field of Wheat

He out standing in the field, waiting for a bus.

Strides (trousers)

Donkey Rides

He's wearing black donkeys [Thanks to Keith Cole]

Strides [trousers)

Jekyll and Hydes

Just bought a new pair of Jekylls

Stripper

Jack the Ripper

I love me jack the rippers [Thanks to John Ioannou]

Strong

Ping Pong

I need a ping pong drink [Thanks to Chris Keeley]

Sub (pay advance)

Rub a Dub

Guvnor Give us a rub a dub till pay day. [Thanks to Ray Davis]

Subaru

Scooby-Doo

Let's have a go in ya scooby-doo [Thanks to J. Mulroy]

Suit

Bag of Fruit

He turned up dressed in a bag [Thanks to Bill Smith who quite rightly
points out that while Whistle and Flute can refer to a nice looking suit,
Bag of Fruit depicts a very different image of an old and shapeless suit]

Suit

Bowl of Fruit

Are you wearing your bowl of fruit tonight? [Thanks to Brad Spencer]

Suit

Tin Flute

I’ll be wearing me tin flute [Thanks to Duncan Whitesmith]

Suit

Whistle and Flute

He bought himself a new whistle for the wedding.

Sun

Current Bun

Old current bun's out today [Thanks to Ray Davis.]

Supper

Tommy Tucker

You can sing for your Tommy.

Sweetheart

Treacle Tart

She's a right treacle [Thanks to Kate Odgers - note that
there is reportedly a negative connotation for this expression, meaning a
woman of easy virtues, but it's not very commonly used]

He was off his nuts on the old Gary Abletts wasn't he [Gary
Ablett was a footballer in the 80's - thanks to Majik Khan]

Tail

Alderman's Nail

He's always wagging his alderman's.

Talk

Rabbit and Pork

He's always rabbitting on about something [Andrew Black says his sister
used to say he had “too much bunny” (or more rabbit than Sainsbury’s!).
You can be sure that wasn’t a compliment]

Talker

Murray Walker

She’s a real murray – just can’t get her to shut up! [Thanks to
Tony Kibble]

Tan

Peter Pan

I’m off to the pool to top up me peter pan. [Thanks to Lee Henderson]

Tanner (sixpence)

Sprarsy Anna

Lend us a sprarsy - I wanna get some toe-rags (cigarettes) [Thanks to
Mike Smith - he wonders if Sprarsy might have something to do with the old
Indian coin called an "anna". If you have any more info please
let me know]

Tart

Kick Start

Is this a lads night or are we taking the kicks [Thanks to Tony
Merrington]

Taxi

Joe Baxi

Mind if I share your Joe Baxi? [Thanks to Mike Doles. William Coward
says Joe Baxi was a heavyweight boxer who knocked out British champ George
Woodcock around 1950.]

Tea

Half Past Three

Where’s me bleeding cuppa arf past? [Thanks to Simon Buckridge]

Tea

Rosy Lee

I've just put the rosy on.

Tea

You and Me

Fancy a cup of you and me? [Thanks to Barry Greenaway]

Tears

Britney Spears

She's off doing a Britney [Thanks to Jade]

Teeth

Edward Heath

He got smacked in the Edwards [Thanks to John Curtis-Rouse.
Edward Heath was PM in the early 1970’s]

Teeth

Hampstead Heath

His hampsteads (hamps) are a crime.

Telly (TV)

Custard and Jelly

As usual, nothing on the custard tonight.

Telly (TV)

Liza Minelli

What’s on the Liza? [Thanks to Yorgos Elissaios]

Ten

Cock and Hen

I didn't get much change back from a cock [Thanks to Peter Cotterell]

Tenner (£10)

Paul McKenna

I’m don to me last Paul McKenna [Thanks to Richard Hall. Paul
McKenna is a famous hypnotist]

Tenner (10 pound note)

Ayrton Senna

'ere, lend us an ayrton me old china [Ayrton Senna was a Formula One
driver - thanks to Tom Harvey]

Tenner (10 pound note)

Louise Wener

'ere, lend us a louise. [Louise Wener is a singer with the band Sleeper
- thanks to Richard English]

Thief

Tea Leaf

He's always been a bit of a tea leaf. [Usually the fully slang
expression is used]

Think

Cocoa Drink

I should cocoa [Said in a somewhat facetious manner, this
phrase actually means "I should think not" - thanks to Kathryn
Polley]

Thirst

Geoff Hurst

I've got a Geoff on tonight [Sir Geoff Hurst was the only footballer to
score three goals in a World Cup final. Thanks to Graham Todd]

She's got a lovely pair of Bristols.
[BristolPirate2003 (I'm assuming a nom de plume) sent the following:
The saying goes back hundreds of years from when sailors sailed to
the "New World", between Bristol, England (the second largest
port outside of London at the time) and the USA, traveling on to the
tobacco plantations at Bristol, Virginia.

It was known as, "Going between the Bristol's" and became a
sexual reference for what sailors would do to their women folk on
returning to dry land!.

Titty (breast)

Walter Mitty

She's got a lovely set of walters [Thanks to Dean Cavanagh]

Toast

Holy Ghost

How about another round of 'oly. [Thanks to Jack Summers]

Toe

Bromley by Bow

You might want to fight, but I'm going to have it on me
bromleys [ie. run away. Thanks to David Aqius]

Toker

Al Roker

That guy is an Al [Thanks to Andrew Backs]

Tonic

Supersonic

How about a nice Vera and super (Gin & Tonic) [Thanks to Vaughan
Hully]

I've got me new Claire Rayners on [Thanks to John Tsang - Claire Rayner
is an author]

Trainers (running shoes)

Gloria Gaynors

That's a nice pair of Gloria's [Thanks to John Ioannou]

Tramp (hobo)

Paraffin Lamp

I gave me last apple to that old paraffin [Thanks to Kevin Moynihan]

Tramp (hobo)

Thirteen Amp

Look at that bunch of thirteen amps over there. [Thanks to Steve
Vincent - thirteen amps is the standard electrical receptacle in Britain]

Trouble

Barney Rubble (Flintstones)

Stay away from him. He's right Barney.

Trousers

Lards

‘e was caught with ‘is lards down [Lards is from Callards &
Bowsers, makers of fine toffee’s. Thanks to Duncan Reed.
Lenny has noted that often the full expression, i.e. "'e was caught
with his callards down" is used to avoid confusion with lardy meaning
cigar (la-di-da).]

Trousers

Round the Houses

'e's got hisself a new set of round the houses [Thanks to Christopher
Webb. Also used is "Council Houses" as in "'is
councils haven't seen an pressing this year" - thanks to Gary
Chatfield]

Turd (shit)

Douglas Hurd

I need to dump a Douglas [Thanks to Mathew Dalton. Douglas Hurd
is a politician.]

Turd (shit)

Richard the Third

He's a bit of a Richard. [Thanks to Ray Davis. Elaine MacGregor reports
that this is also used as in "I'm just going for a
Richard". Andrew notes that sometimes Edward the Third is also
used.]

Just off for a Jodrell [Jodrell Bank was the site of a University of
Manchester botanical station, about 20 miles south of Manchester, back in
the 1940's. Today, Jodrell Bank is a leading radio astronomy facility.
Thanks to P Loynd]

Wank (masturbate)

Barclays Bank

He's having a barclays. [Thanks to Peter Cotterell]

Wank (masturbate)

J. Arthur Rank

'e's off having a J. Arthur [Thanks to Mike Dowding and Sparky James]

Wank (masturbate)

Lamb Shank

'e's having a lamb [Thanks to Alan Heard]

Wank (masturbate)

Midland Bank

I'm going for a midland [Thanks to Jonathan Harris]

Wank (masturbate)

Peddle and Crank

I'm off for a peddle! [Thanks to Aziz McMahon]

Wank (masturbate)

Sherman Tank

e's a right sherman [Thanks to David Hughes]

Wank (masturbate)

Tommy Tank

She's probably at home doing a tommy. [Thanks to Barbara Wilson –
from Thomas the Tank Engine, a child's program]

Wanker

Cab Ranker

'e's a bit of a cab ranker [Thanks to Steve Tuffin]

Wanker

Kuwaiti Tanker

He’s a bit of a Kuwaiti tanker [Thanks to Daryl Egerton]

Wanker

Merchant Banker

He's a right merchant [Thanks to Justyn Olby]

Wanker

Ravi Shankar

That referee is a right Ravi [Thanks to Justin Ellis]

Wanker

Sefton Branker

He’s a right Sefton Branker [Thanks to Paul Lundy – Sefton Branker
was a Major, and later Air Vice Marshall, who was posted to India in the
early 20th century]

Wanker

Swiss Banker

He’s a bit of a swiss banker [Thanks to Morris Childers]

Wanks

Gordon Banks

They’re a bunch of gordons [Thanks to Paul Island]

Watch (fob watch)

Kettle and Hob

That's a lovely kettle [Thanks to Mark Sparrow. I got the following
from Dudley who wondered about the connection between a kettle and a watch
- he passed on the following story:

It was commonplace for everyone to wear a pocket watch and chain in the
waistcoat & it was also equally commonplace for the watch to be in the
pawn shop as an interim loan security - however no one was keen for people
to know that this situation was necessary, so the chain would be kept and
worn as normal. In the kitchens of the day the fire would be an open one
and there would be a bar or hook above it from which a length of chain
would be secured and from there the kettle would be suspended above the
fire to boil. So with this in mind, if the pocket watch chain, with no
weight on it to hold it in the pocket, fell out and dangled minus the
missing watch, there would always be some clever Charlie ready to pipe up
"What's that for then, your bleedin' kettle?"

Dave Walker provided the following: The origin of
"kettle" comes from illicit spirit making, distilled in what
were large coppers known as kettles, hence, kettle of scotch = watch. I
have always understood this to be the true origin, and it does rhyme,
after all.

Water

Ten Furlongs (Mile and a quarter)

I'll have a gold watch and ten [Thanks to Del Sinnott]

Web Site

Wind and Kite

Check out me wind and kite [Thanks to Mark Holmans]

Weight

Pieces of Eight

She'd better watch her pieces of eight [Thanks to Dave Connolly]

Whisky

Gay and Frisky

I'll have a gay and I'm off. [Be careful where you use this]

White Wine

Plink Plonk

Open a bottle of plonk [The rhyme here is a bit convoluted – Plink
Plonk rhymes with Vin Blanc which is, of course, a white wine.
Thanks to Claire Reed]

Whore

Four by Four

She’s a bit of a four by four [Thanks to Dave Collard]

Whore

Roger Moore

I was trying to get my trousers back on, and the dirty
roger is running up the street with my wallet [Thanks to Mark Adams]

Whore

Thomas Moore

She a right Thomas [Thanks to Pete Masters]

Wife

Duchess of Fife

Now my old dutch, where are we off to tonight?

Wife

Trouble and Strife

I'm taking my trouble dancing tonight.

Wig

Irish Jig

I think that blokes wearing an Irish [Thanks to Martin Elliot]

Wig

Syrup of Figs

What a syrup. [Thanks to Mark Pearson]

Window

Burnt Cinder

Close the bloody burnt [This works if you mispronounce window... winda
- and cinder... cinda as any good Englishman would. Thanks to Sparky
James]

Cor, it's bloody mork today [shows you that the slang is constantly
evolving - thanks to Alan Little. Can also refer to someone who is a
bit windy - "Don't feed him brussel sprouts again - he gets all Mork
& Mindy" - thanks to Sparky James]

Wine

Porcupine

Where’s the porc waiter [Thanks to Tony Merrington]

Word

Dicky Bird

He left without so much as a dicky.

Wrong

Falun Gong

It seems to have all gone a bit falun gong [From semi-obscure evil
Chinese cult with tendency to inaccuracy, therefore appropriate.
Thanks to Keith Hale]

Wrong

Pete Tong

It's all gone a bit Pete [Pete Tong is an English DJ - thanks to Dan
Collins and Keith Uden]

Yank

Septic Tank

He's not very bright... septic, you know. [Thanks to Peter Langdale for
this one. Tony Alderton reports that this can also be shorted to
Sepo]

Yank

Wooden Plank

Then this wooden bloke walked in [Thanks to Ian Coppell]

Yawn

Johnny Vaughn

Can’t hold back a good Johnny [Johnny Vaughn was the star of The Big
Breakfast – thanks to Will Sowden]

Years

Donkey's Ears

Ain't seen you in donkeys mate. [Thanks to Ossie Mair]

Yid

Front Wheel Skid

Old Mikey's a front wheel [Thanks to Jan. Note
that this expression is considered offensive]