Friday, March 14, 2008

30 of pain and pleasure

I have just finished reading Mahesh Dattani's 30 Days in September. And I have to say that he is really one bold man to convey the theme of sexual abuse and incest. Yes, we do know that sexual abuse is a painful experience, not to mention traumatic, but Mahesh boldy inserts one element that nobody dares to speak of. This my friend, is the PLEASURE that these abused children do feel. Mala portrays the traumatized woman who because of the recurrent abuse, her brain circuit is programed to actually like to be abused, making her psychological unable to love people genuinely without getting abuse sexually. This pleasure is indeed a taboo in society for we would have not expected that sexually abused children actually enjoy it. This is of course, although sickening, it is very prevalent issue in the world today, where paedophiles seem to be cropping up as we speak.

2 comments:

Your view somehow makes my eyes opened wider as it should be! Yeah, they seems to have more sex after being abused, right? I don't get it-I just don't. I think Mala is very lucky to have her fiance by her side to help her. Most of sexually abused children refused to get help and some of them do not have anyone to help them-very unfortunate. Sadly, those who could not ask for help often ended up sleeping 6 feet under!

Oprah Winfrey used to be abused by a relative of hers. She spoke openly about it a few years back and i remember her saying that not all sexual abuse is violent. Most of the time its actually pleasurable to the child especially since they didn't know that its wrong to begin with. Think that this is better for the child than violent sexual abuse? Wrong! Eventually when the child gets older and goes to school, they will eventually realise that the intimate actions that they had shared with their abusive relative or family member is abnormal and wrong. They will feel guilty for responding concentually towards the abuse. The shame prevents them from going to others and after stewing on that realization long enough they would have replyed everything in their mind over and over again until somehow they twisted the reality and feel as if they are to be blamed, that the abuse was their fault somehow and that they 'deserved it'. Some are able to claw out of this dark and seemingly endless tunnel of guilt and self-blame. Unfortunately, many do not and they handle it differently. Some may abuse their own bodies by sleeping around because they feel that they do not deserve a respectful and secure relationship. Some, on the other hand, may swear off men completely.