Last night John Oliver played the straight man while his team of senior correspondents covered the royal baby aftermath in varying states of drunkenness and depression. Samantha Bee compared covering the birth of the royal baby to, well, actually having a baby: "We spent nine months letting this story grow inside our networks, and when it was time for it to break there was such a tiny hole in the schedule for it. An unnaturally tiny hole, like trying to shove a watermelon through a bird house," Bee said. "But just when we thought we couldn't push and force this story onto the schedule anymore, boom, it's wrinkly red face popped up screaming and covered in news goo. And now we just feel so empty inside, like we have no real connection with this story now that it's broken."

While Bee suffered from postpartum depression, Jessica Williams visited Toddlers and Tiaras, where the royal baby is registered for a few gifts, including Dr. Seuss books, corgis saddles and "if you want to spend the big bucks, he's also registered for the entire country of Ireland," Williams said. "That's a gift that may not be happy to be given," Oliver noted.

Eventually, even The Daily Show got tired of royal baby jokes. Jason Jones rounded things out by getting wasted in a pub because, as Jones put, Brits will use "any excuse to throw a party. When Jones forgot why he was there, Oliver reminded him about the royal baby. "Oh yeah," Jones replied. "Like I said, any excuse."

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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