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Thursday, February 10, 2011

It's Thursday, which means another week of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop! And because I love making top 10 lists, I decided to use one of Mama Kat's prompts to write a Thursday edition of Top 10 Tuesday.

It's not easy being a mom, especially a new mom. We'd all like to think that our maternal instincts will kick in the second our babies pop out of the womb and that we'll raise the perfect child. But those are dreams of the rookie mom. Eventually we live and we learn from those rookie mistakes, and at some point we figure out that motherhood, for better or for worse, isn't what we thought it would be.

Here are my...

Top 10 Signs That You're a Rookie Mom

{And yes, I am guilty of every single one of these.)

10) You think you’re going to bounce back to your pre-baby weight as quickly as all those celebrities who have at their beck and call a team of personal trainers, nutritionists, chefs, massage therapists, and nannies.

9) You immediately gasp and jump every time your child stumbles or bumps her head.

8) You adamantly refuse to use your television as a baby-sitter even though you haven’t showered in 3 days.

7) You buy all those fancy, expensive, and completely unnecessary gadgets, not knowing that a baby will not only survive but live a very fulfilling life without a wipe warmer. You also spend way too much money on designer outfits that are destined to be ruined after only one wear by explosive diarrhea, vomit, drool, snot, and mashed peas.

6) You judge other mothers' parenting styles and blame them for their children's bad behavior. Because after all, those mothers are doing it all wrong, and you're doing it all right.

5) You read every parenting book on the market and attempt to follow every piece of advice even though all of the “experts” contradict each other.

4) You feel guilty for not following the advice of said contradicting experts.

3) You think you’re going to make the right decision in every parenting situation.

2) You still hold out hope that one day you’ll get a full night of uninterrupted sleep.

1) It never occurred to you that your child wouldn’t be the most beautiful, intelligent, athletic, well-behaved, well-rounded, precocious child that ever walked this earth. But be reassured that once you realize they're not perfect, you'll discover that moms love their kids not in spite of their imperfections, but because of them. Just as our kids love us for ours.

I like your list! I pray that #10 is true b/c my teenage daughter, for example, is not very fond of my many imperfections, including my refusal to acquire fashionable handbags and my insistence of taking pictures (in public) of all kinds of odd things (and people) because they have blog potential. Oh well! Maybe she's that way because she was a child of a rookie parent once.....

Haha, I love it. Although, I have to share a story. Consider it the opposite extreme of #9:

I was at a spouse function the other day and a lady left her (firstborn) 4 month old sitting up in a chair unsupported. Predictably, he took a 2-ft header to a hard floor and started screaming bloody murder. She laughed and picked him up and said, "Oh, you're fine, you're just a little shocked." ?!?!?!?!

Wow did you come to my house and peek in the window? I am such a rookie Mom. I think the wipe warmer was the first thing on my registry although I don't have it plugged in anymore. Does that mean I am on the road to recovery from NewMommaitis?

Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by my blog. I hope you have a terrific weekend!