To me, ethical means not harming other people. This is tricky. Some people believe that they are harmed if I support gay marriage. Yet no marriages between gay people would actually cause damage to others.

That to me is what being ethical is all about, making those difficult choices between bad and worse, and being strong enough to stand behind your choice.

not saying gay marriage is bad, just that it's always about a choice between one kind of hurt to one group and another kind of hurt to another. The choices between happy things and unhappy are easy, it's the choices between one kind of unhappy and another that define us.