In honour of the ‘killer clown’ craze currently sweeping across the US, UK and Ireland. Hundreds of incidents have been reported of people in clown masks and costumes scaring and even chasing victims, while armed with machetes and chainsaws. The craze, which began picking up just before Hallowe’en is said to have been inspired by the remake of the 1980s clown horror film It, coming out soon. I haven’t seen any clowns yet but if any want to play with me, I’ve got a boot in the face that will permanently make them look like a clown…