For
most of our lives, women serve as the caretakers in our society. We give birth
to, and raise our children. We care for the men in our lives, providing a home
that nurtures the soul. For many of us, we are the primary caretakers of the
bedroom as well. We find ourselves focused primarily on pleasuring our men,
rarely giving a thought to our own needs. Of course our men do please us, but it
is usually part of a ritual that is in response to our pleasuring them first.
Recently however, after reading about Tantra massage, I decided that it was time
to take a moment to focus purely on my own special needs.

At
its highest form, Tantra Massage is an extraordinarily intimate encounter. To
view it otherwise is to diminish its value. This is the story of my first
experience with Tantra. It will hopefully not be the last. I began this journey
by looking for a partner who would help me to explore more deeply who I was,
both as a woman and as a sensual spiritual being. I found my tantric "guide",
in White Lotus
East, after a great deal of Internet
research. A series of sensitive e-mail communications, ultimately gave me the
confidence to make an appointment. Our electronic dialog made me feel that "my
guide's" approach would be clear and loving, with a keen awareness of my
physical, emotional and sexual needs. I would not be disappointed by my initial
judgment.

Preparation

My
own personal preparation began more than a week prior to our arranged meeting.
Feeling both hopeful and confident about my guide's approach to Tantra Massage,
I had every expectation that I would be in good hands. My guide would focus on
creating an experience, during which my sensuality would be fully and completely
explored. It was clear that we would begin slowly, allowing for this experience
to unfold gradually and naturally. We would not be rushed. I was told to expect
the session to last from two to three hours.

A few days
prior to our meeting, I began a process of conscious preparation. I wanted my
body to be as receptive as possible. I took steps to make myself more available,
lathering myself with more lotion and body oil than usual, so as to soften my
skin. I waxed my pubic and labial area, in order to more visually expose my
clitoris, making it more accessible to touch. I performed increased my sessions
of Kegel exercises to prepare my vaginal area for stimulation. I also began to
fantasize about the session, only later fully realizing that this “visualization
exercise” would be an important tool in allowing me to relax into the
experience.

The Appointment

Iarrived right on time and
although will confess to some nervousness, my momentary anxiety was abated when
the door opened to reveal my guide’s open arms and welcoming smile. We began our
meeting with wine and conversation. Taking the edge off with about 15 minutes of
initial “getting to know you” pleasantries, before the subject actually drifted
toward my purpose in being there. Again I was given the opportunity to express
the nature of my interest and expectations. Satisfied that I had made the right
decision, I accepted my guide's offer to tour WLE’s exquisite space.

The Bath Ceremony

My
full modesty was preserved as I donned a beautiful robe and slippers before
heading toward the bubble bath, brimming with rose petals. My guide took my robe
from me, glancing away in a sign of respect for my privacy, as I stepped into
bath. We chatted casually as my guide relaxed my body, rubbing my feet, my legs
and my inner thigh. Occasionally, my guide's hand would drift tantalizingly near
my mound, but only casually and very simply. I sat in awe as my guide easily and
effortlessly played with my body, brushing bubbles over my breasts and cupping
them gently.

We did not
stay in the bath as long as I might have desired, as my guide was concerned not
to over saturate my skin with water, lessening the pleasure of the massage to
follow. In my robe again, we moved to the massage studio, where I was invited to
lie face down upon the table, resting my head on a fresh towel and firm pillow.
Having already removed my robe, my modesty was now partially protected by a
towel running lengthwise across my midsection.

The Massage

Beginning
at my shoulders, my guide applied lavish quantities of oil upon my body. My
guide's hands then rubbed along my back, sides and up toward the sides of my
breasts. With my hands extended over my head, I found myself anticipating more.
Soon, I found myself crying silently for more. How rich an experience it was to
realize all that I needed was to relax and enjoy the ecstasy of this exquisite
touch.

Eventually
it became time to remove the solitary towel, my body now crying out for
exploration. As if reading my mind my guide's well-oiled hands began to stroke
along my buttocks; exploring up and down the crease; moving from my labia to my
rosebud. Occasionally my guide would grasp my labial lips, holding them for a
prolonged moment. This was an extremely sensual experience and I found myself
reflexively arching my back to allow better access to my clit. I was left
breathless and in ecstasy, a word I find myself repeating over and over again to
describe this experience.

By now, my
guide's fingers had made it to most of the intimate parts of my body.
Simultaneously massaging my clitoris, one finger firmly atop my rosebud, with
another inserted into my Yoni. Soon, I was “riding the wave” of back-to-back
orgasms. Knowing that I was completely in my guide's hands, literally and
figuratively, allowing full access to wherever these intuitive and talented
fingers were being guided. Amazingly, at that moment, I did not hesitate
or feel reluctant for all of my body to be explored. My entire body now writhed
and quivered uncontrollably as my buttocks thrust in the air, over and over
again. I had relinquished control, and it was wonderful.

Encore

Just
as I thought that there was no more to be done, I was given the opportunity to
rest. Having caught my breath, my guide helped me to roll over and onto my back.
Then, just as before, a towel was placed across my midsection. At this point,
with little inhibition, I secretly hoped that it would soon be removed. I now
found it difficult to restrain myself, in anticipation of again being complete
nude and unencumbered.

Mercifully,
I would not have to wait for long, as my guide began to massage my breasts, then
my inner thigh. Removing the towel now exposed my smooth and freshly waxed
private area. Including my swollen clitoris, which now presented itself for
attention. And it did receive attention, as did my labia, Yoni and “rosebud”. My
Goddess Spot was explored as I quivered over and over again. My release felt
endless as my guide and I came together to understand my body. It was stunning
to know that after 40 years on this planet so much could be revealed to me about
the inner workings of my physical being.

I was
exhausted and invigorated all at the same time. I would sleep well that night,
awaking the following morning with a feeling of clarity and creativity that can
only be found when the body and mind and truly cleansed.

Re-living my experience

During
the days, which followed, I found myself looking back on that afternoon with a
sense of memory that would previously have been unimaginable. Simply recalling
the moment would produce orgasmic quivers! Tantra Massage provides a vehicle for
addressing the total needs of the female body, it has it’s own rhythm and
purpose. The experience has opened my eyes and my body to a new level of being
and I will forever be changed by the experience.