squeeze his hand back

Oct 14, 2015

There’s a stage in our lives that we reach—or can reach, if we get quiet enough, where we come to this conclusion that we don’t know as much as we thought we did. Sometimes this can feel like a really hard crash; a rapid descent from an ecstatic high point of knowing who you are and what you’re about. It’s a tragic feeling of loosing grip.

A love you knew to be so true turned out to be counterfeit. The plans you made, the way you thought it would be-- it fell through, or something changed. You had a future made of glass, all planned out, all polished, but you dropped it. Maybe it was college, or a certain job, or the struggle between the pressure and the dream. It's a place with no safety net; you fall. It hurts. But I think within that feeling, if we look for it, there’s this revelation that there is beauty in that place.

All the pressure that you put on yourself to be right is suddenly gone. Because now you’re back at the starting gate, licking your wounds, and now you’re supple. You know nothing, you are opened, you are His. All the beauty in the world, all of the fragrant unknown, it’s all up for grabs.

It’s like a roller coaster, yes. Your stomach drops and you’re screaming like the world is going to end. But like an eagle, you're shedding all those old feathers and becoming new again. He’s there with you—he’s squeezing your hand. He’s telling you to rethink yourself-- He's telling you there's something better ahead. Sit back, study the masterpiece. The masterpiece that is you.

The masterpiece that needs no ones validation but His.

Look at your hands. Look.
Sealed; kissed with grace.

Square one is a liberating place to be. So loosen your grip at the peak, and let the past go. Enjoy the ride down. And up. And down. Squeeze his hand back.

Oh, darling. Don't say you will be beautiful one day-- you will be somebody someday. You are somebody already. You already are beautiful. You were home before you started.

Dry those tears and tie up those shoe laces. You chase that dream-- you chase it hard, darling. Because it's yours for the chasing, the grabbing, the tasting.

________

photographs = daddy and I went to a balloon festival! It was a warm, late-September evening. Whipped iced coffees were drunken, yummy baked treats were bought and devoured, and many, many, many pictures were taken. Father/daughter dates are da bomb, y'all.

I wrote this piece while working this past week/weekend in Pennsylvania. It's something God has been teaching me and writing on my heart in sharpie marker. This idea that, yes, the crash hurts. The ache is real. But as one of my favorite psalms puts it: "He heals the brokenhearted, and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars, and assigns them each a name." (147. look it up, you'll love it.)

The star namer is healing your wounds. The earth-shaper is taking your hands in his, and he's telling you that you are priceless. There's a light ahead. You were made for so much more.

I'm still learning it. It's a journey, but its a beautiful one, and I feel blessed to be able to share about it from where I am today: still figuring it out.

I was blown away by the welcome-back comments, you guys! <3 they blessed my heart. xoxo

"But I think within that feeling, if we look for it, there’s this revelation that there is beauty in that place." <------OH KATIE AMEN AMEN AMENNNNN!

Also, hot air balloons are my favorite thing so I am jealous.

Random sidenote: I had a dream where you and Abbie came over to my house and I was sad because I was tired and had put on a shirt and a skirt that were both the same color. XD But otherwise it was awesome. XD

Katie - THIS POST. OH MY GOSH its amazing. like, if your posts were a place, i would live there. "Look at your hands. Look. Sealed; kissed with grace." *sniffs* "You were home before you started." let me just go over here into a corner and sob because this post is so. very. liberating. PERFECT.

Thank-you for writing this. "Square one is a liberating place to be." Really, I needed to hear that, because that's where I am in some ways, and I feel ashamed to be there. I feel like I ought to have my life together. But actually, I need to just rest and wait in Him, because He's already got amazing plans for each one of us. Thank you so much for sharing, and I'm going to look up Psalm 147 right now.

Jessica, your comment blessed me so much! I so know how you feel. The amazing thing about square one, is the fact that that is often where we meet Him in new ways. Because he is there with us. <3 Hope the psalm blesses you as much as it did me

comments are like dark chocolate and they make this kid way happy. I love hearing from you guys! (check back because I reply...and I love checking out your blogs, so don't leave me without a link to yours!) ♥

YO, RAD SOUL!

all my friends call me kate. your purpose is my passion: i believe we're all here for a very important reason - that our dreams, goals, and gifts are going to change the world. i'm a writer, speaker, wanderer, surfer, martial artist, and military wife. i hope you grab a cup of coffee and stick around because i'd love to hear your story