I've slogged through thousands of fanfics over the last 10 years. And yours are among the hardest to read that I have ever encountered.
Sorry. This is kind of awful. At the very least, you need to get yourself a good beta.

Guest chapter 1 . 10/25/2012

Everything about this was so adorable. I love the their sexually charger banter and they way everything was still always about romance for them. Perfect!