Meet Tina Marie Arie, the most generous suspected drug provider in all of Porter, Texas. Not only did Arie share her stash of illegal prescription drugs with a friend, but when the two of them got arrested, she blew him on the way to jail.

According to the Houston Press, the cops were called because a man was passed out in a Whataburger, which is apparently one of those exotic fast food joints that makes middle Americans so damn fat. When the cops arrived they found that the passed out man's two friends, Arie and Howard Windham, also had a bunch of Soma and hydrocodone pills on them. The passed out man, who was blotto thanks to Arie sharing all her pills, was taken to the hospital, and Arie and Windham were put in the back of the cruiser.

While on the way to lock up, the officer driving the car asked where Arie had disappeared to. He saw her head in Windham's lap and pulled over to find the two of them doing the Texas Two-Step. Well, that's not really a euphemism for a blow job, but it was the best I could do. That's actually very sweet of Arie. Neither of them are going to be getting any of that until they're sprung from jail, they might as well get sprung while they can!