Monday, September 3

Blogging Bound to a Warrior: Part 4

Okay guys, I’m sorry I’ve been away for so long. My mum keeps harassing me to blog some more of Bound to a Warrior but I had lent it to a friend so couldn’t write anything. Also, my brother is now has a blog where he blogs and writes terrible romance – it runs in the family, but he does it so much better than me. Check it out: http://rampantstallion.blogspot.com.au/

So, I believe we’re up to chapter four, yes?

We start with more walking. They walk for an hour or so before the sit down and hoe into a little of the bread Bailey-from-the-last-chapter gave them. Mercy wants to ask Duncan lots and lots of questions like “why’s the king after you?”, “who are you, really?”, how the hell did we mistake a pregnant lady for an old woman?”, “why do the soldiers know, or at least think, we’re still alive when they seemed so sure we’d die after jumping off that cliff?”, “why’d they capture us just to kill us? And if they just wanted to kill us why are they looking for us now and why didn’t they do a better job of it? Did they just want to get me wet?”, “why are we even handcuffed together? What is this supposed to accomplish? Did you arrange this to set up some kind of kinky sex situation?”, and “why is your kilt black and red one minute and then an “undistinguishable” colour the next?” but she’s too hungry to talk.

You were walking together for an hour. You weren’t hungry when you started walking. Why didn’t you ask him your questions while you walked? It’s not like you’ve walked in silence before so why start now? Why start to walk in silence now that you have something to talk about that’s important and not playful banter? WHY?

Screw you, Mercy.

Although they’re still hungry, they put the rest of the bread aside for later. And then they playfully joke about it. Too hungry to ask the questions we all want to know but not too hungry to engage in poor dialogue and tell Duncan “You’re a humorous one.” and “a poetic philosopher as well.” That’s how she speaks to him. Because every eighteen year old I know tells someone that they’re funny by saying “You’re a humorous one.” Sure, this is the 11th century or something but I’m sure that even then people only said “You’re a humorous one” when being patronising.

But Duncan asks Mercy what she knows of poetic philosophers and we learn a little bit about her, however only enough to intrigue us, not enough to tell us anything. “Only in a family of means would you find an educated daughter”. Mercy claims she’s not from a family of means, her mother just wanted the best for her. Yeah, but if a peasant woman wants the best for her daughter it doesn’t mean her daughter is going to be educated. Her mother must have had some kind of means or influence.

Next we see a plot hole partially explained. Remember how I asked why they tried to kill both Mercy and Duncan if they actually wanted Mercy alive? Well, I can now answer that. Apparently Mercy’s mother had done something very foolish which had condemned them both to death. Apparently everyone suspects Mercy knows of her mother’s devious plans. They want to kill her so the plans don’t come into fruition, although, I’m not sure anyone, not ever Mercy, is aware of what these devious plans are.

At least the kings orders have gone somewhere along the lines of “just kill her to make sure she doesn’t do anything bad” as opposed to the usually super villain tactic of “keep her alive and bring her to me so I may learn what her plan is” which usually leads to the villain’s downfall.

Mercy quickly get distracted by Duncan’s face and she reaches up to touch a scar on his lip. When she asks him about it he gets pissed and Mercy finds Angry Duncan scary. They walk off in grouchy silence until just before night fall. Mercy collapses into Duncan’s arms and rests her head against his chest, having completely forgotten how she was scared by him earlier in the day, even though it was only on the previous page. I suppose this is the way romance novels work? It most certainly is with Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey. The man is scary and violent; the woman loves him even more for it. Even when it’s directed at her. Mercy, don’t get involved in a relationship like that. IT’S BAD.

They’ve stopped by a stream and Mercy goes to dip her feet in it but it hurts when she tries to take her boots off. Duncan helps take her boots off and then surveys the damage. Skin is peeling and blistered and it sounds really gross, but this is ignored in favour of kinky ankle action. Mercy finds it quite improper until she remembers that they got naked together the night before. Duncan clean up her wounded feet, sprouting more of his poetic wisdom, and then carries her away from the creek to where ever it is that they plan to set up camp.

Mercy echoes my thoughts by pointing out to Duncan that he can’t set up for camp while she stays off her feet, because they’re freaking handcuffed together. The chain may be ridiculously long at times, but it’s still not long enough for him to hunt and gather firewood, or whatever, while she sits still. No matter what has happened previously.

So they get everything done, nice and quick, and settle in for the night. She falls asleep with her head resting against his chest. And I end this chapter convinced that I know Mercy’s big secret.

She’s got to be illegitimate, right?

Plot holes.

- Why are they handcuffed together?

- Why weren't they killed on the spot?

- Why do the soldiers know, or at least think, they’re still alive when they seemed so sure they’d die after jumping off that cliff?

- Why is Duncan’s kilt black and red one minute and then an “undistinguishable” colour the next?