Jaymi Anderson: Why I hate 'The Bachelor'

Jaymi L. Anderson

Age: 39

Family: Husband of 16 years, Bryan; two daughters, Brook, 10, and Carter, 8

Occupation: Stay-at-home mom

About: Jaymi enjoys interacting with other women and does so through speaking to moms groups in northern Colorado, as well as facilitating a leadership group for high school girls in her church. She also stays busy volunteering at her children's school and teaching English at the Global Refugee Center. When she has time, she enjoys hiking with her family and finds that the kids usually stop whining after the first mile.

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I know this is going to make me unpopular in some circles.

But.

I hate "The Bachelor."

Usually, I ignore the show or pretend it doesn’t exist. However, this week I inadvertently saw part of it while flipping channels, and the irrational anger I harbor toward things I can’t control flared up.

Obviously, most of America disagrees with my loathing. The reality show where one man dates 25 women in hopes of finding a wife is in its 17th season and its spin-offs, "The Bachelorette" and "Bachelor Pad," are at seasons eight and six respectively.

I just can’t figure out why it is so successful. There have been numerous exposes written about how scripted it is and that the producers coerce the participants into saying things they don’t want and manufacturing emotions they don’t feel. As with any reality TV, the magic happens in the editing room where they splice together pieces of conversations and facial expressions in order to make circumstances much more dramatic than they actually were.

And I do realize that most people watch it for the histrionics, not the character development, but still.

To be fair, I’ve never made it through a whole episode, let alone a season. Maybe I’ve missed out on the beautiful journeys that have allowed men and women to find true love by going on mass dates and hot tubbing together.

I doubt it.

True, dating shows have been around for a long time. I remember watching reruns of "The Dating Game" and "Love Connection" while growing up. It’s not that they were much better, but at least the people in those were fully dressed and the expectation was a nice date, not a marriage proposal.

The reason I get so worked up over "The Bachelor," honestly, doesn’t have much to do with me. After all, I can choose not to watch. The reason I hate it so much has to do with my girls.

The outtake I happened upon last week featured the woman who got eliminated. She was flinging around a "Shades of Grey" tie, talking about finding someone else to use it on. Then she started dancing with the tie and ultimately ended up apologizing to her mom for her on-camera behavior.

Please, God, let that never be one of my daughters.

Moms of boys, do you want your son involved with someone like this?

I want my girls to have a healthy understanding of dating, romance and marriage. I want them to know that you should not have to resort to attention-getting behavior or dress in a certain way to get dates. I want them to know that quality men do not date multiple women in elimination contests.

Maybe you think I’m overreacting to a TV show, and I get that. But my intent is not to pass judgment about anybody’s TV viewing. You could easily call me out on some of the things that I have allowed myself to watch over the years.

However, I have come to understand that my kids are aware of everything I do. I could watch trashy TV or movies after they go to bed. But they may overhear me talking about it to my friends the next day. Or notice it on the Hulu history and ask me about it. How do I justify spending my time on something that goes against my value system?

It’s true that there are adult things and there are kid things, but as my children get older, the lines are blurring. I have to start setting a precedent now if I want them to have high standards later. I have to act out the expectations that I set for my children.

That’s kind of a bummer sometimes.

Yet, I was the one who chose to become a parent and that means being the responsible one, even when I don’t want to.

Jaymi Anderson is married with two daughters. Read her Fridays on Greeley Moms.

It’s true that there are adult things and there are kid things, but as my children get older, the lines are blurring. I have to start setting a precedent now if I want them to have high standards later.