The Hitcher Movie Review

The Hitcher stars favorite Sean Bean as a psychopath, features super hot Sophia Bush running around in a mini skirt, or less, and shows a person getting torn in two between a couple of semi trucks, but like so many horror movies of late, this movie is just idiotic.

Not the disaster I was expecting based on reviews from my brother, but certainly not the engaging thriller I was expecting from the previews, The Hitcher is just the latest in a string of pointless horror and slasher films that fail to deliver. Had the movie featured a bit more nudity, a bit more gore and an ounce of plausibility, The Hitcher might have worked, but as is it is just one stupid movie.

The Hitcher follows college couple Jim Halsey (Zachary Knighton) and Grace Andrews (Bush) across the country on their way to spring break vacation. Along the way, they run into psychopath killer John Ryder (Bean). They escape, but then decide to stop on the side of the road to get some sleep. Why? Keep driving until you find a f**king policeman. Of course, Ryder catches up with them, kills a family and then lays the blame on the two foolish lovebirds, who do what every normal person would do presented with this situation: hold a gun to a cop and then flee the scene. This happens repeatedly throughout the movie, and at some point (say... the first time it happens) it gets absolutely ludicrous. Of course, how Ryder continues to find them also doesn't make much sense, especially when they sneak into a hotel room for a pointless (and ultimately very disappointing) shower scene.

The Hitcher has its moments of excitement, but the action is so disjointed that you never really get involved with the story. Director Dave Meyers foolishly tries to make The Hitcher more of a drama than it should be by throwing in random long shots that have no place in a movie like this and random songs plucked right out of "The O.C.". Some excitement happens, but then the movie screeches to a halt as Meyers allows the characters to reflect on what has just happened. Even when there is action, it's hard to really enjoy the film since you care for the characters so little. Jim is okay, but the character of Grace just does every stupid thing one can do in a movie.

And, to be perfectly shallow, I am disappointed Meyers didn't amp up the sex appeal with Bush on screen so much. It's not that there needed to be a lot of nudity (though that would have been nice), it's that Meyers fails so horribly at making Bush sexy that it's almost distracting. And Bush is absolutely gorgeous. And runs around in a mini skirt the whole movie, or just her underwear, or nothing when it comes to a rather lame shower scene. I was looking for the sex appeal that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre managed with Jessica Biel - she didn't get naked, and didn't even have a shower scene, but her character oozed sexiness. The Hitcher doesn't do anything to make the most of the assets it has, and this is Meyers' fault, not Bush's.

The Hitcher could have been something with a better director and a little bit of plausibility, but as is it is a pretty worthless thriller. It does have its moments, but overall is a movie that didn't need to be made in the first place. After all, there is another version already.