Area Man Loses Both Rental Car Keys Because They’re Fucking Attached

ATLANTA, GA—During a recent business trip, area man Kevin Simmons lost both sets of keys to this rental car because the keys were fucking attached to each other. “They gave me two sets of keys to my car, but for some goddamned reason, there was a metal ring permanently joining them together. So, when I misplaced one, I sure as hell misplaced the other,” said a disgruntled Mr. Simmons to reporters. Sources confirmed that Avis did indeed give Mr. Simmons two sets of keys to his Toyota Camry, which would provide him an extra set should he accidently lose one. However, reporters were unable to identify any logical fucking reason why Avis would fucking attach them to each other, for Chrissake. “If they’re going to attach them to each other, wouldn’t it be smarter to just give me one set of keys and keep the other at the agency…