“The Bull Sheet” will be on hiatus for the holidays. Next issue: January 3rd, 2006.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
SUNDAY Lonestar, Fantasia, Vanessa Williams & the Brian Setzer Orchestra are among the celebs taking part in Walt Disney World’s annual “Christmas Day Parade”, hosted by Regis Philbin & Kelly Ripa and featuring performances from Disneyland in California, hosted by – who else? – Ryan Seacrest . . . Ubisoft’s new video game “Peter Jackson’s King Kong” has a secret alternative ending that makes a sequel possible, but only top gamers will reach a level in which the big ape is returned to ‘Skull Island’ . . . ABC-TV has ordered up a pilot for a drama based on the hit Colombian TV soap “Betty La Fea” (‘Ugly Betty’), which actress Salma Hayek is executive producing (but obviously not starring in) . . . NBC-TV has ordered 13 episodes of “Heist”, which chronicles over the course of a season a group of thieves’ attempt to simultaneously rob 3 jewelry stores on Beverly Hills’ famed Rodeo Drive . . . David Letterman’s lawyers are urging a New Mexico judge to drop a bizarre restraining order granted to wacky Colleen Nestler of Santa Fe, who claims he’s been using code words (such as “Marry me, Oprah”), gestures, and so-called ‘eye expressions’ on “The Late Show” to convey his desire for her (whoa lady, time to get a new tin foil hat!) . . . And now that the annulment is official, it’s clear why actress Renée Zellweger cited ‘fraud’ as the reason she split from temporary husband Kenny Chesney – under California law, an annulment can be granted “if the consent to marry was obtained by fraud or force” (it’s far easier to claim fraud than force from gentle Ken).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Barenaked Ladies – TODAY they appear on “Live With Regis & Kelly”.
• Dixie Chicks – Natalie Maines has written & recorded a song with rock band Yellowcard for their upcoming album, “Lights & Sounds”, due in late JANUARY. She & Ryan Key trade vocals on the tune “How I Go”.
• Dolly Parton – She didn’t dream up the subject of her “Golden Globe”-nominated tune “Travelin’ Thru”. It’s about a real-life pal of hers who underwent a full gender change.
• John Mayer – TONIGHT he guests on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Kenny Chesney – TODAY he’s on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• 3 Doors Down – They’ll perform on “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” on ABC-TV. Also scheduled: Mariah Carey, The Pussycat Dolls, 311, The Bangles, Sean Paul & Chris Brown.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Memoirs of a Geisha” ( Wider Release PG-13 Period Drama ): The story of a 9-year old girl from a Japanese fishing village who grows up to become one of the most desirable geishas in the land. Stars Ziyi Zhang, Ken Watanabe, Michelle Yeoh.
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/memoirsofageisha/
• “Munich” ( Limited Release R-Rated Historical Drama ): In the tragic aftermath of the 1972 Munich Olympics, a Mossad agent (Eric Bana) tracks the Palestinian terrorists who assassinated Israeli athletes. Co-produced & directed by Steven Spielberg.
NET: http://www.munichmovie.com/splash.html
• “The Ringer” ( PG-13 Comedy ): To help settle his friend’s debt, ‘Steve Barker’ (Johnny Knoxville) schemes to fix the “Special Olympics” by entering as a contestant.
NET: http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/theringer/

CHRISTMAS DAY MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Casanova” ( R-Rated Period Romance ): Heath Ledger plays the infamous lover Casanova as he finally encounters a woman that’s immune to his charms (Sienna Miller).
NET: http://casanova.movies.go.com/main.html
• “The Producers” ( PG-13 Musical Comedy ): Nathan Lane & Matthew Broderick reprise their Broadway roles as a faded producer & his neurotic accountant who concoct a get-rich-quick scheme that involves staging the worst musical ever written. Uma Thurman co-stars. Ironically, this movie version of the stage musical is based on – a movie; Mel Brook’s 1968 film, which bombed at the box office.
NET: http://www.theproducersmovie.com/
• “Rumor Has It …” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): In this movie about a movie, Jennifer Aniston learns that her family was the inspiration for the book & film, “The Graduate”, and that she just might be the offspring of the well-documented event.
NET: http://rumorhasitmovie.warnerbros.com/
• “Wolf Creek” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): Based on the true story of 3 travelers who are plunged into danger when they accept help from a friendly local in the Australian outback. No-name Aussie cast.
NET: http://www.wolfcreekthemovie.com/

SPACEPORT USA:
Virgin Galactic, the British company created by entrepreneur Richard Branson to send tourists into space, will build a $225-million spaceport in New Mexico. It has already signed up some 38,000 passengers from 126 countries who have paid a deposit for a seat on one of its manned commercial flights. That includes a core group of 100 so-called ‘founders’ who have paid the initial $200,000 cost of a flight up-front. The flights are planned to begin in late 2008 or early 2009. (200-grand may sound like a lot … until you add in the number of barf bags you’ll need.)
– AP

DID YOU KNOW?
According to an old Indian saying, the ideal age difference in a marriage is when the woman is half the man’s age, plus 7 years. (That makes the M/F age ratio 20/17, 30/22, 40/27, 50/32, 60/37. So a guy can age 10 years, but his wife should only age by 5.)
– “China Daily”

WHAT MAKES DANCERS MORE DESIRABLE?
Rutgers University researchers have used motion-capture cameras, similar to those used in video games and movies, to record the movements of dozens of Jamaican dancers. Their conclusion: the bodies of the ‘hottest dancers’ are more symmetrical than those of the less coordinated. (Especially evident when they keep taking their clothes off.)
– MSNBC

WIDE WORLD OF BS:
• So this woman walks into a hospital with a bullet in her head … it’s true! 60-year-old Florence Kanto was watching TV in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil when a stray bullet hit her near the left ear. Amazingly, she never even lost consciousness and managed to walk all the way to Flamengo Hospital where she’s expected to recover completely. A hospital spokesman claims, “This was a real Christmas miracle!”
• The Scuotto family of Naples, Italy is famous for carving traditional nativity scenes. Their latest, now on show at the San Giacomo Church in Rome, has proven to be a bit more controversial than usual. In fact, it’s caused general outrage! That’s because it includes naked women and transvestites standing near the baby Jesus.
• 59-year-old British baronet Sir Benjamin Slade wants to give you his $1.7-million Somerset mansion … if you can prove your DNA is the closest match to his. The restored 9-bedroom house is set on 1,500 acres, with 3 lakes, 430 cattle and 12 peacocks. So why give it away? Sir Ben says none of his known relatives want anything to do with the dump.

FOR THE RECORD:
Eric Smith delivers the “San Francisco Chronicle” newspaper, about 1,000 issues every morning. He’s done that 7 days a week, 365 days a year for the past 28 years – without a day off. That works out to about 10 million deliveries. He’ll turn 65 NEXT MONTH but says he plans to continue to ‘throw papers’ until he’s 100 or dies … whichever comes first.
– “San Francisco Chronicle”

MILLION-BUCK BRAINWAVE:
It’s so simple, it’s dumbfounding. Perpetually broke 21-year-old UK college student Alex Tew came up with a plan to help pay of his student loans. 4 months ago he created a Webpage divided into 10,000 tiny boxes that link to advertisers’ Websites, priced at $100 each. Surprisingly, he expects to be sold right out by Christmas, netting him a cool $1 million!
– “Daily Mirror”
NET: http://www.milliondollarhomepage.com/

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Account of a Visit from St Nicholas” (better known as “Twas the Night Before Christmas”) by Clement C Moore was first published in the “Troy (NY) Sentinel” 182 years ago TODAY (1823).
• “Noche de Rabano” (“Night of the Radishes”) in Oaxaca (wah-HAH-kah), Mexico, when figurines are cleverly carved … from radishes. How festive!
NET: http://www.christmas-in-oaxaca.com/night-of-radish.htm

SATURDAY –
• “Christmas Eve”, a family gift-giving occasion in many countries.
• “Egg Nog Day”, to which we say … ye-haw!

SUNDAY –
• “First Game of Hockey”, the game’s 150th anniversary, at least according to one legend. On Christmas Day, 1855 teams from the Royal Canadian Rifles played at Kingston ON using field hockey sticks and a rubber lacrosse ball.

MONDAY –
• “Blessing of the Wine” in Luxembourg, when winemakers parade to church with a barrel of their best to be blessed. (“God, that’s good!”)
• “Day of the Wren” in Ireland, when masked revellers go door-to-door asking for money.
• “Hanukkah”, the Jewish “Festival of Lights” through JANUARY 2nd, commemorated by the lighting of candles placed on the menorah, a 9-branch candelabrum. During the 8-day celebration, gifts are exchanged and children often play the dreidl game.
NET: http://www3.kumc.edu/diversity/ethnic_relig/hanukkah.html
• “Kwanzaa”, through JANUARY 1st, the African-American version of traditional African harvest festivals, celebrated in North America since 1966. ‘Kwanzaa’ means ‘first fruit’ in Swahili.
NET: http://www3.kumc.edu/diversity/ethnic_relig/kwanzaa.html
• “Whiner’s Day”, dedicated to people who whine about unwanted Christmas gifts.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1987 [18] “Good Morning Vietnam” opens in theaters, starring Robin Williams as a war-zone DJ

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Boxing Day (Canada, UK, some Caribbean countries)
[Mon] St Stephen’s Day (the day “Good King Wenceslas looked out …”)
[Mon] Recyclable Packaging Day
[Tues] Fruitcake Day
[Wed] Card Playing Day
This Week Is … It’s About Time Week
This Month Is … Winter Month