- Now reading: Slash's "book", in the sense that a book is a collection of words bound between two covers.

Yeah, it's pretty bad. Here's a synopsis, if you don't want to take the time: I drank a half-gallon of Stoli and then played a show. Did some heroin. Kicked heroin in a few days. Started doing heroin again. Kicked heroin again. Axl is an asshole.

I know, I know, overhyped, blah blah blah. It's really a shame, because this is just a shimmery, fun, bright summery pop album. It sucks that it got weighted down with all the hype and now the inevitable backlash is in full swing and I know they're a bunch of toffs who went to Columbia but FUCK can't we just enjoy something anymore? FUCK. It's just an album, it's not a cultural signifier.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Just got tickets today. $858 (!!!) on Aer Lingus. Of course, that's like 58 Euros. But still, last time we went (in 2005) it was $470 roundtrip. Thanks for fucking up the economy along with everything else, W! You've done a great job here.

Anyway, in a few weeks Super Hot Irish Girlfriend and I will be winging our way back to her homeland. Hopefully the food has gotten better in the last 3 years. I keed! I keed! Not really.

S.H.I.G. and I had a delightful brunch yesterday at Le Zinc on 24th. There was like an hour wait for the outdoor tables so we just camped out inside. Sunday paper, coffee, omelette, bacon, all good. And $30 for two isn't bad at all.

Very funny. Worth seeing. In the Apatow oeuvre, I thought "Knocked up" and "Superbad" were funny, but I didn't like "The 40 Year Old Virgin" all that much. I haven't seen "Talladega Nights" and "Anchorman" because I have a visceral, deep-seated loathing for Will Ferrell. Anyway, I laughed a lot during this movie.

If you're not watching this show, you're missing the funniest comedy on TV. It's more manic and inspired than "The Office," which would probably be the only serious competition. The jokes don't land 100% of the time, but when they do, they really, really do.

5. Saturday

How great was Saturday? It was absolutely beautiful here in SF, I went to Zeitgeist at 11 p.m. and it was still pretty nice out and best of all, not too crowded, and the Giants showed some pluck in coming back from 10-5 to make it 10-9 in the 9th. Yeah, I know they lost, but it still looked like a team that could come back from being down a few runs, which I didn't think they'd be able to do.

Then Zito pitched on Sunday and holy fuck, what are we going to do about that? It's like buying a Lamborghini and finding out that it has a Ford Escort engine in it. They better fucking figure something out soon.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

You know how we said before the season started that the Giants are going to have to have some unbelievable pitching if they're going to win any games? Well, guess what. They've had it.

Last night's winner Jonathan Sanchez. He has a fairly pronounced Spanish accent. Who knew? I figured he was from San Diego or something. Pic shamelessly stolen from SFGate.

So in the last 3 games, the starting pitchers have given up ZERO runs. Last night, Sanchez struck out 10. Lincecum is 4-0 and has an ERA of 1.23. Good thing, too, since the offense only managed 7 runs in those 3 games.

ANYWAY, the G's are in 2nd place in the West and generally look a lot better than we thought they would. If they could just get some runs, they'd be a team. Still, those last 3 games sure were fun to watch. Granted, the Padres and Reds aren't exactly powerhouses, but still.

In other news, OMFG it's so nice out! I took a walk through the Mish this morning and everybody just looked happy, because it's not freezing cold with 50 mile an hour winds like it usually is in this Godforsaken city. Get off your fat ass and go outside, you pasty white bastard!

Viewers witness the two stars pushed to the limit as they attempt to keep their high-wattage acts on an eco-friendly course. Enlisting the help of their posses, celebrity guests, and anyone else willing to lend a hand, Ludacris and Tommy Lee dive right into the Battleground Earth competition with unexpected and sometime hilarious results. The contest doesn't let up as each of these stars are judged and scored on the green meter. This Rap n' Roll battle culminates in a green carpet benefit concert at Los Angele's legendary Greek Theater. The concert featuring Ludacris, Tommy Lee, and many of their famous musician friends will support the renewal of Griffith Park, which was devastated by recent wildfires.

Awesome, right? Makes perfect sense. Incidentally, my favorite part of this press release is the new possessive for LA: "Los Angele's."

ANYWAY, Tommy was in Berkeley last Thursday and stopped by the Ecology Center there to tool around in their biodiesel truck and to get his environment on. Luckily, I have well-placed informants who were there. Behold:

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

If the O-man is the Dem nominee at the end of this whole tortured process, get used to more bullshit like this:

I'm sure Jesus would love this. Hey, aren't churches required to refrain from endorsing or attacking political candidates to keep their 501(c)(3) exemptions? As long as you're up, can you call the IRS for me?

So what does the "pastor" of this all-white church have to say?

"It is absolutely not a racist sign or a political sign," Byrd said. "It's only meant to encourage people to think about what they're doing. (Obama) said he's not (a Muslim), but that's why I asked the question. I would put the same sign up if he were a white man.

"God loves us all, but what if we get someone in the White House who happened to be Muslim? I'm just trying to open people's minds. I was never expecting anything like this."

Translation: God hates Muslims. Hopefully my sign will make you believe that Obama is a Muslim - and maybe even related to bin Laden, so you'll hate him too.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Hey, guess what? They’re not in last place. Right this second, anyway, the Dodgers are. That’s not going to last, but still.

Maybe they’re not as bad as we thought, though. They won the series against the Cards, who aren’t exactly pushovers, and there’s some reason to be hopeful. John Bowker’s hitting .364 with 3 home runs, Tim Lincecum’s 3-0 with a 1.57 ERA, and even bad old Tyler Walker’s not looking too terrible these days. Playoffs? Not a chance. Fun to watch? Sometimes. Hey, I’ll take it.

Swear to God, the Marked Men. After I just saw them on Saturday. Pretty amazing coincidence, considering I have 2900 songs on my iPod.

4. BART

I take BART to work every day. Usually take Muni home. The contrast is startling. The BART trains arrive on – get this – schedule, and the trip from my stop to my work stop is about 5 minutes. BART just works. I wish it went everywhere in SF. In all fairness to Muni, BART doesn't have to contend with double-parked idiots blocking the tracks and that kind of thing, but I don't think I'd stir up a hornet's nest of controversy by suggesting that Muni has some room to improve.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

After playing at Thee Parkside on Friday night, The Marked Men were doing a 5 pm show yesterday at The Knockout. Tom and I headed down there after doing some recording in our practice space.

Holy shit. When we got there, there were maybe 50 to 60 people in line on the sidewalk outside. I don't know if you know The Knockout, but it's definitely not a line-outside kind of place.

So we make it in and it is crowded. I mean like Japanese subway crowded. Like nowhere to move crowded. It's a good thing there wasn't a fire crowded.

Anyway, we grabbed some tall Tecate cans and checked out the bands. We saw The Young Offenders, who were pretty much a straight-up punk band and were really good, and then The Arrivals, who Tom said reminded him of Dinosaur Jr. if Dinosaur Jr. had been faster.

So it's crowded as fuck, like I said, and pretty hot in there despite the fact that it's about 20 degrees outside with 75 mph winds, and here come The Marked Men.

Photo credit: I found this photo on Flickr, in "GoatLegSF"'s photostream. Thanks, GoatLegSF. BTW, isn't it amazing that you can get online and find photos of a show you were at the next day, taken by someone you don't even know? The Internet freaks me out.

In a word, they rocked. OK, that's two words, but you get what I mean. Fantastic, energetic performance. Reallly good songs. And here's the kicker - the sound was great. If you go to enough shows at clubs, you know that the sounds ranges from adequate to borderline unlistenable. But at this show, you could hear everything perfectly.

Anyway, it was like being 16 again, crammed into a room watching a band just give it their all, drinking cheap beer and just loving it.

So the show ended around like 8:30 or something. I love these early shows. For an old guy like me, they're perfect. So Tom and I went down to the The Argus Lounge and then El Rio and then we were both pretty lit and had to call it a night.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

OK. Let me compose myself for a second before we begin here, because this whole thing made me want to shoot myself in the face and not seek immediate medical attention.

The scene: Last night's Democratic debate between Hills and the O. It's going along fine, so far so good, blah blah blah, until HEY! YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE COOL? LET'S TAKE SOME VIDEO QUESTIONS FROM AVERAGE AMERICANS! OK! Super! So who do we have up? Ahhhh, let's see, what's on the mind of Nash McCabe of Latrobe, PA?

She wanted to know - hold me, please, lest I have a seizure - why Obama doesn't want to wear an American flag pin.

OK. Deep breaths here. OK. No, I'm alright. I'm alright.

For those of you who are confused by this question - and believe me, you have every right to be - there was a mini-flap a few months back when someone noticed that O didn't wear an American flag pin which climaxed, somewhat hilariously, with some idiot Republican congressman going on some show on MSNBC to bitch about this and then Dan Abrams noticing that he's not wearing one either. In a sane world, this madness would have ended there. But no. Nash McCabe is troubled.

Now, instead of giving the appropriate answer - which would be "What in the fuck kind of retarded question is that?" - O said he thought the flag was groovy and that in the general election, people would focus more on the issues than whether he was wearing a flag pin.

Is this really where we're at? You get a chance to ask a question of one of the three people in contention for the Most Powerful Job on the Planet, and you choose to ask about lapel jewelry? Gosh, Nash McCabe, I guess things in Latrobe must be fucking fantastic if the most troublesome issue facing you there is the placement and use of flag pins. Jesus Fucking Christ.

You know what this whole thing reminds me of? This:

UPDATE: Thanks to reader Corey, who found this NYT article, we have learned that the flag pin issue has troubled Nash McCabe for some time!

“How can I vote for a president who won’t wear a flag pin?” Mrs. McCabe, a recently unemployed clerk typist, said in a booth at the Valley Dairy luncheonette in this quiet, small city in western Pennsylvania.

No, it's not from the Onion, I promise. Mrs. McCabe, may I suggest that you divert your undoubtedly sharp intellect to matters more pressing - like how it came to be that you're recently unemployed. We are truly fucked.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Super Hot Irish Girlfriend and I went by CCA yesterday evening to check out an exhibition by our friend Ehren. Cool stuff! This was my fave piece:

You can't really tell from the picture, but each Rolodex card has stuff on it. Some have found pictures and some text that may or may not be relevant to the picture, and some just have text. It's really cool. I wasn't sure whether you were supposed to touch it or not, but then I saw people going up and flipping through it. Ehren said you were supposed to flip through it.

After that, S.H.I.G. and I had some dinner at Mission Beach Cafe on Guerrero and 14th. We both liked it a lot. I had the grilled pork chop which was changed up a little from the menu - it had some kind of strawberry compote thing on top which I wasn't crazy about, but the meat was really good. It came with parsnips and sugar snap peas, which were really sweet and crisp.

S.H.I.G. had the pan-seared halibut with tomato ragout, which was awesome. I usually don't like seafood all that much, but I would totally independently order that.

Great, friendly service, nice room. My only complaint is that it seems a little overpriced for what's kind of a casual place. I mean, the fish was good and everything, but $26 is a shitload to pay for a piece of fish and some sauce.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Down Market Street, the F goes from the Castro to the Embarcadero, where it takes a left and goes up to the Wharf. Going along the Embarcadero is great enough, but the gravy here is that the F runs restored streetcars from other cities. So you might find yourself on a classic car from New Orleans or Boston. It’s a great line.

2. The 39-Coit

Sure, it only runs in about an 8-by-12 block area, but it’s a phenomenal 8 by 12 blocks. The 39 goes down Powell in North Beach and hits North Point and Beach at the Wharf, but the money shot is the trip straight up to Coit Tower and some of the best views in San Francisco.

I have a strong sentimental attachment to the N Judah, as it was my home line from ’91 to ’97 and then again from ’04 to ’07. Rush hours are packed with mostly 20-and-30-somethings commuting from shared apartments in the Haight to their Fisher Price My First Grownup Jobs downtown, but you also get street kids, old Asian women with crinkly bags, hippies, and every other slice of San Francisco life. An indispensible line.

Awesome picture, huh? The caption is "Mayor Rolph pilots the first N-Judah car, October 21, 1928."

4. The 22-Fillmore

The only line here to be immortalized in a song, as far as I know (“You looked like you were sleeping/Waiting days for the 22,” from the late, great Beulah’s “Lay Low for the Letdown”), the 22, like many of us, leads a double or triple life. It starts in the Marina, where it might get spray-tanned and have a latte, shoots up over Pacific Heights, drops into the Fillmore, then stops for beers and crack in the Lower Haight before moving on to the Inner Mission, where it takes a hard left and heads for Potrero Hill and then Dogpatch, which will be the neighborhood in 2012, mark my words.

5. The Powell-Hyde cable car

Be honest, when’s the last time you rode on a cable car? C’mon, don’t be such a stick in the mud. They’re fun! Don’t be a sucker and wait at the turnaround at Powell & Market with all the Germans and the street hustlers. If you have a Fast Pass, go a couple blocks up Powell and jump on when that thing slows down. Then enjoy the ride up Nob Hill, over to Russian Hill, and then vertiginously dropping straight down Hyde. Seriously, it’ll make you feel 10 years old again.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Poor Matt Cain. All he does is pitch 2-hit ball into the 7th inning AND hit a home run himself and the Giants STILL can't close the deal for him? I mean, really, what can you say at this point?

The bullpen got ugly. Like Elephant Man ugly. Tyler Walker gave up 3 earned runs in one inning. Our main man Brad Hennessey gave up two in 1/3 of an inning. And so on.

ANYWAY, the frustration of blowing a 5-0 lead and losing aside, it was a truly beautiful day at the old ballyard. Around 80 degrees, bright sunshine, all that good stuff. I'm pleased to report that I was misinformed and that beers are, in fact, $8.25, not $9.25 as I was led to believe. $8.25 is still extortionate but somehow it doesn't sound as bad as $9.25, right?

Oh, and I don't want to forget a shout-out to JOHN BOWKER, who, in his very first big-league game, went 2 for 3 with a hit and a home run. Good job, John Bowker!

"You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them," Obama said. "And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

Two things occur to me about what he said: (1) It's indisputably true, and (2) Telling the truth is a really good way to lose an election. What he's actually saying is that when people get bitter, they take refuge in things like guns and religion and hating on Mexicans because those things are familiar and comforting and easy. No doubt, right? Yeah, it sounds like a swipe at religion, and I guess in a way it kinda is, but fuck, man, hasn't religion's big selling point for 2000 years been "We're here for you"?

Anyway, of course none of this matters and the freakshows on the far right (well, and Hillary Clinton, for that matter) are going to say this means that Obama is an elitist snob who thinks that religious people are stupid. Which might be true, but isn't what he was saying. Whatever.

MEANWHILE, back in San Francisco, it's about 75 today and sunny and if God hates us for being depraved sinners, he's doing a crappy job of communicating, because it appears to be one of the finest days you could ever hope for. Go outside and have some fun, sinners! See you later at the Black Mass for the baby sacrifice. Espresso and biscotti in the lobby afterwards, natch.

Friday, April 11, 2008

That's the awning over Grassland Lounge, on Kearny, near Columbus. I used to live not far from there. I never saw any good friends or girls there, except for the foul-mouthed old Asian lady who bartended. It was me, her, and a group of old Asian guys watching TV. Once in a while one of them would say something in Chinese and they would all CRACK THE FUCK UP. I guess maybe they were good friends.

Happy Friday, everybody!

I'm going to my first Giants game of the year tomorrow. I'll report back. I hear that beers are now $9.25. Fuck Tibet; why isn't anybody protesting THAT?

Thursday, April 10, 2008

As we’re all aware of now, the route of the Olympic torch run yesterday was changed at the last minute to - YOINK! - totally avoid all the protesters lined up along the Embarcadero. Instead, the torch meandered down Van Ness and through the Marina. When animals are stressed, they return to a place of familiarity and comfort. For Gavin, that’s the Marina.

I personally don’t have any strong feelings one way or another. I mean, the protesters got plenty of press, so I guess they accomplished their goal in that way. It sucks if you came from Vacaville or whatever to see the torch but, believe me, it’s not that big a deal. In 1996, the Olympic torch came through SF and the route passed directly in front of my building at the time. There was so little fanfare that time that I walked out my front door just as it happened to go by and I had to ask someone what was going on.

My guess is that all the people who are bitching about missing their “once in a lifetime chance to see the Olympic torch” are actually pissed because they missed a good old-fashioned riot.

ANYWAY, Board of Supervisors President Aaron Peskin was PISSED. Check this shit out:

"Gavin Newsom runs San Francisco the way the premier of China runs his country - secrecy, lies, misinformation, lack of transparency and manipulating the populace," Peskin said.

C’mon, now. If Gavin ran SF like China, you’d be in some re-education camp in the Marina, forced to drink Midori sours and learn dudespeak.

What else, Aaron?

“He misled supporters and opponents of the run. People brought their families and their children, and (mayoral officials) hatched a cynical plan to please the Bush State Department and the Chinese government because of the incredible influence of money.”

Really? He did it to please the Bush Administration? Yeah, you know how tight Gavin and the Bush regime are. They practically have slumber parties every Saturday and do each other’s hair and are always texting “Did u see me on TV? Lololol!1!1!1!”

But wait! There’s more!

“This was the biggest charade perpetuated by any mayor in anyone's memory and possibly in the history of this town. The only difference between Newsom and President Hu Jintao is none. Both manipulate, are deceitful and do not run transparent governments."

On June 13, 1907 Schmitz was found guilty of extortion, and the office of Mayor was declared vacant. He was sent to jail to await sentence. Shortly thereafter he was sentenced to five years at San Quentin, the maximum sentence the law allowed. He immediately appealed. While awaiting the outcome of the appeal, Schmitz was kept in a cell in the county jail. On January 9, 1908, the District Court of Appeals nullified his conviction; two months later the State Supreme Court upheld the Court of Appeals' ruling, and he was released on bail, pending the resolution of the outstanding bribery indictments. He was brought to trial once more in 1912, on charges of bribery. Ruef was brought from San Quentin to testify, but refused to give evidence. The other key witness, Chief Supervisor Gallagher, had disappeared without leave to Canada, and did not return. Schmitz was acquitted.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

It's the big Olympic Torch Relay today, and doesn't it sound like fun? I mean, everybody already knows that it's going to be a clusterfuck disaster, so why are they still doing it? I mean, they could just say, "We could see that every hippie with a Palestinian scarf in 500 miles was going to jump on us like Pete Doherty on a crack rock, so we decided not to give you the satisfaction. How you like that?" It's not like China's rep could get any worse.

Turning to the Giants, they won last night. THIS IS NOT A MISPRINT. Oh, and Brad Hennessey? Got his ERA down to 14.40. Go ahead and laugh, but it's way better than 38-point-whatever. 2 innings, 0 ER, 3 strikeouts.

You are no longer our personal goat, Brad Hennessey. Couple more outings like this and you'll have it down, to what, 10 or something. YOU GO, BRAD HENNESSEY.

Did you see the shots of the people in the stands? They looked fucking miserable. It was 52 at gametime and what were the winds, like 25 miles an hour? I wouldn't have taken free Field Club seats for that shit.

Oh, one more thing about this - there's a guy on the Padres named Callix Sadeaq Crabbe. It's like an anagram or something.

Police say a bride and groom spent their first night as a married couple in jail after their wedding party at a Vallejo home got out of hand.

When police had to return a second time to the home Saturday night, officers stunned both the groom and his cousin with a Taser when they both became aggressive towards the officers.

The groom and cousin were arrested for allegedly resistingarrest.

The bride was taken into custody on suspicion of public intoxication.

"The bride was taken into custody on suspicion of public intoxication" is the first line of a fantastic, as-yet-unwritten song.

4. Spring might actually be here.

It's supposed to be in the 70s by the end of the week. C'mon, global warming, hurry the fuck up!

5. Super Hot Irish Girlfriend

Just 'cause.

In other news, I was at the Dubliner on Saturday night and I met the General Manager of the Virgin Megastore on Market. So I might have mentioned that I was in a band and he, very affably, said, "Why don't you guys do an in-store?" Believe me, that would be great, but I think you typically need a CD to push and, in our case, a bassist. But I said I'd get back to him if we got our shit together. Totally nice guy, though.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

A detective was riffling through an ice-packed plastic container for evidence of drugs when he touched a hard, oval object, according to court papers obtained bythe newspaper.

The object turned out to be Trepp's head, Detective Robert Watts wrote in an application for a second search warrant.

"The objects inside the container appeared to be frozen. I observed a thermometer with an external black wire lead which (sic) deeper into the container," Watts wrote.

"As I reached into the container, I felt a hard oval object covered with cloth. I removed the cloth and observed blond hair and the top of a human head."

"And then I decompensated and had to be institutionalized" is what it would say next if I was writing this.

BUT WAIT it gets even weirder.

According to the warrants, detectives also found a reciprocating saw sitting on the bed and hundreds of photographs of a blond woman. They also found papers on crime-scene cleanup inside a bag, and several articles and papers on body decomposition in a desk.

Does anyone here ever watch "Dexter" on Showtime? BTW, you should be, but anyway, that's what this whole thing reminds me of. OH BEST PART - the chick in the dry ice WASN'T MURDERED.

Now, on to Brad Hennessey, he of middle relief for the Giants. Remember a few days ago when his ERA was 27.00? Couldn't get worse, right?

MOVING ON. Dinner last night with 10 other people at First Crush for Tom's birthday. Great time, lots of wine, etc., etc. Isn't it fun to look through the pixx stored in the digital camera the next day?

Thursday, April 3, 2008

PENSACOLA, FL. Asked for a reaction to the news that he'd been endorsed by reality-soap bad girl Heidi Montag of "The Hills," John McCain told Swampland: "I’m honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of 'The Hills,' especially since the new season started."

He's joking, right? "The Hills" sucks. The old "Laguna Beach," fine, but "The Hills"?

In other news, as the Chronicle put it, the Giants will not go 0-162. Nice win last night, 2-1, and nice job by Lincecum. That boy can throw, let me tell you.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Not satisfied with simply lying down and scoring no runs, last night the G's actually made it interesting against the Dodgers. Cain - who, after last year and then last night must believe that God hates him with a passion - pitched well, giving up 3 hits and no runs in 5 2/3. Giants scored 2 in the 7th and you think, "Hey! Maybe there's some life in this ballclub!"

Then Brad Hennessey arrives on the scene.

How's this for a line: 2/3 inning, 4 hits, 2 earned runs, 27.00 ERA.

Oh well. At least my entire section at the ballyard will be empty in August. I'll have plenty of room to spread out.

In other news, I went to an art opening last night and by that I mean "My sister told me that she would be at an art opening 3 blocks from my house in a bar."

Anyway, there was some cool stuff. The artist is Michelle White, and you can find her stuff here.

About Me

TK lives and works in San Francisco. He occasionally travels to places east of the Caldecott Tunnel, but not very often. His interests include bars, reality TV, and irony. Things seem to be going fine.