Not to be outdone by all the sexing sex talk between Catholic leaders concerned with religious freedom and the Obama administration’s mandate on providing birth control, brands got into the prophylactastic fun.

Are you ready for an almost-entirely NSFW post? Okay! First, there’s the Louis Vuitton condom that wasn’t.[more]

When Twitter lit up with claims that Louis Vuitton would be offering a characteristically-branded LV condom for around $68, squeals of delight could be heard from Essex to the Jersey Shore. Sadly, the designer rubber was just a Dec. 2011 World AIDS day project by a Georgian designer looking to raise funds and awareness for AIDS research.

The URL originally hosting the condoms (louisvuittoncondom.com) has since been shut down. (The next question: Was it by Louis Vuitton, a brand that also sued the sextastic filmThe Hangover 2 earlier this year when the production used fake LV luggage instead of the real deal, or the artist?)

In other condoms-for-causes news, in honor of National Safe Sex Awareness Month, “The NBA player with the most blocks every week will be receiving a condom care package from NuVo to honor their protection efforts.” (Insert “NBA players with too many children” joke here.)

Meanwhile, this coming Monday, LifeStyles Condoms is launching a multi-million dollar push for SKYN, which it calls “the first clinically-approved polyisoprene condom on the market.” The campaign will kick off at New York Fashion Week, where it will host a “LifeStyles Condoms Make Out Booth,” a photo booth that will dispense “a strip of SKYN condoms with each strip of photos to raise awareness for safe sex.”

In other condom news from the week, the winner of the best press release title goes to “BILLY BOY Condoms Penetrate U.S. Market.” Bravo to Germany’s leading condom brand for not passing on the obvious just because it’s obvious.

Thanks to a whole new product endorsement by the family, for the first week in history, if you Google “Kardahsian + lube” you will get different results.

Fashionista.com, meanwhile, asks, “Is This the First Ever Porn Created to Shill Skin Care?” You be the judge but be warned, very NSFW —

We suppose it depends on what you mean by “porn.” Is it the first ever Skinemax created to shill skin care? Well, absolutely.

Advertisers that shelled out for the Super Bowl need to get their money worth. With that in mind, Kia Motors put together a looped video running five straight hours of ‪Adriana Lima‬ waving a checkered flag and then posted it to the brand’s YouTube account. Think of it as a sexy version of the Yule log some TV stations run on Christmas.

Finally on the marketing with sex beat comes one of the top three unicorn making love to a dolphin commercials you will ever see. And yes, it is obviously NSFW.