Striving for personal happiness, however one defines it, is a goal that many people have in common, and this book teaches readers how to find that joy using modern and spiritual means. Happiness seekers will learn how karma blocks personal happiness and how to dissolve it on a moment-by-moment basis, learn how to activate their personal GPS system to guide them out of negative reactions and old patterns, and learn simple techniques to transform everyday, stressful situations into positive energy and self-awareness. Written for those beginning their spiritual journey of self-discovery, lighthearted dialogue and hands-on exercises give readers an accessible way to vanquish potential roadblocks to happiness.

EXCERPT

These glimpses, these sparkling moments of heightened perception, inspire our quest for self-realization.

So why choose to write a book on Happiness? Why not a book about peace or love or some other desirable virtue? Well, I, perhaps like you, was raised in a society that led me to believe that one day, if I did certain things right, I’d be happy. That if I was a good girl, if I worked hard, lived in a nice house and raised a family I’d be successful, which in turn would make me happy. Hmmm. It didn’t take long (only until I was 21, in fact, when I ended up with almost all those boxes ticked) for me to realize something was up. I was actually pretty miserable. Where was the happy ending? Why did I feel empty despite everything around me being so full?

I wasn’t alone. Over the past 10 years or more, millions of us raised with a Western mind-set have felt our “material-wealth-equals-Happiness” bubble burst and, as a result, have started shifting our focus away from the outer search for Happiness towards the inner experience: Happiness as a state of mind, as a way of being—not something to seek, but something to notice once the seeking falls away.

So that’s why. I realized that Happiness was in some way linked to, but not dependent upon, life’s events, that it could be cultivated and—perhaps most importantly—is who I am or how I feel I am when I’m not identified with suffering. As a result, I set about peeling back the layers of beliefs and habits that stood between me and Happiness. If the mystics and sages of the world were right, and that Happiness does come from a connection to our eternal nature, then I was up for discovering that for myself.

Yet for most of us, even those who understand and embrace the concept, it can still seem as if the opposite is true: that it’s the circumstances in which we find ourselves that make us happy—a well-paid job, a nice home, or a loving relationship. There’s no denying that these things can contribute to our Happiness, but no matter how convincing circumstantial Happiness may seem, it doesn’t last.

It can’t last, as we mine it from finite resources that are, by their very nature, impermanent. It stands to reason, therefore, that this is why this kind of Happiness so often goes hand in hand with fear—fear of losing what we’ve got, fear of things changing from the way they are, and fear of the means by which we get our Happiness running out.

Fortunately, the kind of Happiness that comes from within has no such strings attached. It’s not dependent upon what’s happening “out there.” Its flow—and our perception of it—can be cultivated, and that connection can never be lost. And although it may be ever-changing, it remains constant, like a river with an unending spring at its source.

For sure, certain situations may restrict its flow and challenge our perception of it, but when that happens it can, with practice, be used as an opportunity to widen the riverbanks and deepen the riverbeds so we can hold more of the Happiness that’s infinitely available to us. So the ultimate aim of this book is to share tools and ideas that can inspire and feed your own, personal flow of Happiness, as well as ways to bring you the energy you need to find your way back to the river any time you lose sight of it. (In my case, this happens quite a lot, hence my confidence in the following techniques—they’ve been vigorously road-tested by me.)

For many of us, everyday life is hectic. It’s full. It’s busy. It’s work. It’s relationships, or a lack thereof. It’s kids, or a lack thereof. It’s overgrown gardens. It’s Facebook. It’s up. It’s down. And it’s potentially exhausting. So whilst the idea of removing yourself from all this, moving to a mountainside retreat and contemplating your eternal nature may be highly appealing, it’s really not that practical on a long-term basis. At least, not if you have a career or kids. Everyday life is here now, which means our Happiness is, too. But the two tend to act like distant relatives instead of the entwined lovers that they really are—hence the need for timely reminders that help us bridge the gap between who we are when sitting peacefully by the river and how we act whilst running around getting things done.

I needed a lot of reminding. As a mother running my own business, maintaining an intimate relationship, and enjoying a social life, necessity has meant that I sought out tools and teachers that would not only inspire inner Happiness but that could fit into a normal, busy schedule. I wanted ways to be free from the repetitive habits and reactions that were weighing me down. And I wanted the energy and motivation to act on all the stuff I already “knew” but seemed unable to apply in everyday life.

Happily, some 10 years down the river of seeking, losing, finding, trying and applying, I have found the energy I was looking for.

Now I tend to experience Happiness in a less needy way. Not as a state to strive for, but one that comes when I let go of striving—as a kind of presence, a palpable energy, inside us all that’s there for us to connect with anytime we want. I find that the more I practice noticing its presence in my day-to-day life, the more it reveals itself to me. There have even been times when I’ve accessed it, sometimes seemingly against my will, in moments of darkness and utter despair. As a result, I have come to see that Happiness is something I can choose to connect with, and it’s available to anyone and everyone who wishes to experience it.

So that’s what we’ll be looking at from here on in: how to form a strong, lasting connection with Happiness, how to get to know it more intimately, and for you to know how to ignite your inspiration to the degree that you want to spend more time in its company. You’ll also get well versed in the art of noticing the times you don’t feel happy—the triggers, the troubles and the tensions—and how to use those moments as your alchemical fire, fuelling your awareness of who you really are, of your true nature.

And, in case it needs to be said, we’re not doing this because of any unwritten rule that says you should be happy all the time, or that being less than happy is wrong. We’re doing this because it’s empowering to have a choice, because you don’t have to be at the mercy of circumstance if you don’t want to be, and because you’ve noticed that beneath the striving and the longing, somewhere along the winding path of acceptance, sits your inner Happiness, your eternal self, waiting to welcome you home.

When I started writing this book, I was told, more than once, that I shouldn’t write a book on Happiness. Various well-meaning naysayers said things like: “It’s too big a subject.” “You need to ‘be someone’ before you can write about Happiness— or at least be an expert on it.” “You’re too young—you’ve not suffered enough of life’s ups and downs.” “There are already so many books written on the subject—people have heard it all before.”

Anyone who knows me will be unsurprised that I paid little attention, and that you now have a book on Happiness in your hands. Whilst I appreciated their advice, I didn’t let others’ opinions stop me from writing about such an important topic.