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Kevin Smith

Remember KevinSmith‘s Tusk? It’s difficult to believe that came out four years ago, isn’t it? I remember when it was first released, I had read somewhere that Smith had claimed that Tusk was only the “beginning of a ‘Canadian Terror’ trilogy.” I looked into it, and I found out that this was fact. As it turns out, The plan is for a trilogy of films, all set inside the same universe. Today’s movie, Yoga Hosers, features the returning characters of the two convenience store girls – Colleen and Colleen – [Depp & Smith‘s daughters] along with Johnny Deppreturning as Guy LaPointe. The rest of the actors will be different characters; according to Smith, he wanted to bring everybody back since they got along so well in Tusk. Now the cool thing is, he also said there would be other references to Tusk in this one [he said people refer to the “Manitoba Manatee” to which the girls reply “it was a walrus”.] I don’t know much about the 3rd movie other than it will be titled “Moose Jaws” and is supposedly to be like Jaws… but with a moose. [why are you so surprised?] All this information is coming from when he has talked about it on his podcast.

The important thing to remember is that this clip was shown at Sundancethis year, and like most of his films, Kevin Smith is a writer you either love or hate. In his new installment Yoga Hosers, we follow “Colleen Collette and Colleen McKenzie, two teenage besties from Winnipeg who love yoga and live on their smartphones. But when these sophomores get invited to a senior party by the school hottie, the Colleens accidentally uncover an ancient evil buried beneath their Canadian convenience store.” In this first clip from the film, we seeColleen and Colleen talking to the “school hottie” about a certain party, and for some reason – it tries to look all..artsy? [I don’t even think that’s the right word for it] Let’s check it out below!

Now, maybe it’s because I’m not a teenager anymore, but I’m really confused by the conversation that’s shared between all these teens. Although, from a film point of view, maybe that was the point; maybe we weren’t meant to understand to show that teenagers are not understandable..or maybe I’m looking too hard into it.

Ultimately, I’m excited for this to get wide-spread release, I was excited for Tusk, [hell, I was part of the #WalrusYes movement] and I love the feel that comes from this clip. I know it doesn’t seem like the biggest and best new film from Smith, but it’s important to note that it seems these movies – Tusk, Yoga Hosers, Moose Jaws – are being made for him. He’s not looking for high class fame from them, he’s not trying to say he deserves every award by making them; if anything[to me anyway] it comes off as he’s doing this for fun; for himself. I think that’s what film making should be. Yes, do it for the fans as well, but for the most part – do it for you. [that was deep]

[left to right: Harley Quinn Smith, Lily-Rose Depp]

Like always, this is where I turn to You: are You planning on seeing Yoga Hosers when it receives wide-spread theater releases? Why or Why Not? Based on the poster, [which the above picture is taken from] it certainly has a color palette of the 1970s, which could be a good or a bad thing. If you’re interested in learning more about the SundanceFilm Festival, make sure you check out their official page here!

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After putting it off for the longest time — I finally got the chance to see Kevin Smith‘s newest horror: TUSK. the film wasn’t at all what I expected; which can be considered a good [and a bad] thing. Please be aware, this review is going to have major spoilers: including, but not limited to, huge plot points.

I didn’t know very much going into the film other than what the trailer had told us: Justin Long stars [so does his fucking wicked ‘stache] as a podcaster named Wallace[Wallace? — Walrus? Oh I get it!] who interviews strange and unique people for his radio show aptly called the “Not-See Party”. He heads to Canada to interview a kid who got YouTube famous for chopping his leg off with a sword on camera by accident; he is known as “The Kill Bill kid” [which I assume is a rip-off of that “Afro Ninja” kid] when Wallace gets to Canada, he learns that, as it turns out, Kill Bill Kid killed himself with his sword due to his “fame”..leaving Wallace with no one to interview, and being stuck in Canada.

how I felt for the entirety of the second half of Tusk.

Flash forward a fuck-ton to where the trailer sets us; Howard Howe‘s home — Howe is the man obsessed with walruses as one saved his life during his days at sea. During the beginning of the interview, Wallace is being told about Howe named him “Mr. Tusk”, whom he regarded as his savior. Especially because Howe claims he had to eat Mr. Tusk to survive. That’s where the film starts to get strange..

His impending obsession leads him to want to relive those days with his “hero”, and the only way to do is to become a walrus. [“who the hell would want to be human?!] after a bunch of cutting with a scalp, [which is shown off screen] sewing, and the like: Wallace the Walrus is complete..and fuck does he look gross; if you want check him out yourself, I’ve posted a [terrible quality] photo below! [major spoiler alert]

that’s..fucking gross, man.

That’s about as far as I’m going to go with this review as there’s also a boring side story about how Wallace‘s best friend/partner in podcasting is sleeping with Wallace‘s girlfriend, and a Quebec investigator [played by a hilarious Johnny Depp!] comes into play to help them find Howard Howe‘s house; but the real excitement is watching Wallace as a Walrus and his struggle to keep his human dignity — whatever is left of it that is.. [there’s even a fight scene between Wallace and Howe!]

The film is extremely difficult to recommend since it’s a cross between Canada and The Human Centipede: except not. Although it felt like it borrowed elements from the film, it is it’s own thing just the same. It claims to be a comedy-horror, but it isn’t that overly comedic. [it is at some points but..] if you’re a fan of Kevin Smith, I’d say go for it, just know that this isn’t Clerks.. This — is Tusk.