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Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment… (Emotionally)

Although they have different meanings, these are both emotions that affect us in the short or long term. Lust takes control of our senses and won’t allow them to function properly; in other words lust is matter over mind. I think lust can be a good thing when it’s used correctly. I don’t subscribe to the idea that I was given the ability to feel extreme passion but if I feel it, it’s wrong.

As described in the definition, lust has to do with passion and passion is typically momentary. It’s not that you can be passionate about something over and over but it’s only in the moment that you feel it. The word itself comes with a negative stigma, placed there by someone who didn’t feel comfortable being overcome with passion. The problem with being overcome with passion is the decision-making process that follows. Typically there isn’t one. Once you’ve surrendered control to your feelings, logic takes a vacation; at least until the next morning.

Lust can make us do some silly things but love will make you do even worse things. This is why is hard for me to grasp the idea of love at first sight. In my opinion, there is no such thing. You can be extremely attracted to a person at first sight; however love is something that has to be built over time. This feeling gets confused with love often due to the ‘overmastering’ affect that it has on our emotions. I do believe that you can lust for a person and then grow to love them.

Love is like gravity, it’s comes across as a weak force but it’s ultimately what holds everything together. No matter how high our emotions may take us, love has a away of bringing us back to Earth. Love takes time because it requires understanding and this comes by way of experience; so how can you understand someone you don’t know or haven’t experienced?

So, don’t take the word love for granted, it is an investment of time, energy, sacrifice and so much more. Lust is simply a momentary feeling that once it’s gone has to be recreated by some other means. I believe that it causes more harm than good to tell ourselves that we’re wrong for having these feelings. Or better still that there’s a devil out there that’s causing us to feel the way we do. Just a bit of research would reveal why we see lust the way we do now; or why we view sex the way we do now.

If there is any wrong, it’s not understanding that these are human emotions and we all have them. The goal should be learning how and when to use them. If someone or something else causes your behavior, then you have no way of changing. However, when we take responsibility for our own actions change becomes inevitable.

It’s been said that an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. This will not show every reason or cure for abuse, I only hope to offer a pound of prevention for those who have or may suffer from abuse at the hands of a so called loved one.

If you’ve dated more than one person in your life, you know by now that everyone has at least two sides to them. The one they introduce you to and the one they actually are. This in and of itself is not a bad thing as we all would like someone that we’re interested in to see the best side of us. But how can we see the end from the beginning? It requires understanding yourself first! The type of person that you are determines the type of people that are attracted to you. Even the most beautiful girl with a rotten attitude will turn off most guys and conversely a not so attractive woman with a pleasant attitude increases her chances of finding a qualified mate. Most controlling men (Physicals) are not attracted to bossy (Physical) women for relationship purposes. It does happen but the relationship normally doesn’t last very long…typically due to violence.

So, in the dating game here’s how to identify a potential abuser. Someone that is ‘extremely’ nice to you and says all of the right things, calls every hour on the hour to shower you with compliments should be your first warning sign. Someone that is extremely nice on one side can be extremely dangerous on the other. If this person is a drinker and they most likely are, this is another indicator. If you were busy and couldn’t answer your phone when they called and they seem to be unreasonably disturbed by this, this is another indicator. All of these are the characteristics of an ‘extreme’ Physical. Stop making excuses for them and tricking yourself into believing that they do this because you’re so fine. This is a control mechanism that shows itself as flattery…at first.

Emotionals can be abusive as well. Here is how the Emotional becomes this way. They’re normally in a relationship with a Physical (male or female) and the Physical is not as tactful when expressing their feelings about an issue they’re having with their mate. The Emotional is notorious for taking things the wrong way so it makes a bad situation worse when they’re actually right about what’s being said to them. Physicals ‘can’ be very degrading and insensitive without even being in an argument. But when they are in a heated argument it can get even worse. They will get as close to you as possible, yell, scream, bite, kick, punch and will use any other physical means of getting their point across available. The Emotional typically doesn’t respond right away to this behavior but instead is keeping track of all of the incidents and name calling along the way. After internalizing these feelings for so long, one day the Physical may ask a simple question and a nuclear explosion results. The Emotional is extremely dangerous in this situation because they’ll let out all of the frustration that they’ve been holding in since it first begin. They even feel justified by doing so because they feel that they’ve given the Physical enough warnings to change their behavior but they continued to badger them. Please remember that silence is not an indication of being a coward.

Drugs and alcohol also play an extreme role in these situations. alcohol makes a person more of a Physical than normal; look at the behavior of a person who’s had too much to drink. They become loud and obnoxious, they keep touching all over you, they’re extremely happy or sad and their tempers are on display at the first sign of trouble. This is why there are so many fights in bar environments. Marijuana has more of an Emotional effect on behavior. Let’s look at what happens when a person smokes. They become very lazy, they put everything off until the next day, they analyze the sun, the moon, the lights, the wall, how they breathe and so on. Everything to them is happening in a slower motion, they even talk slower.

Abuse is wrong no matter who’s administering it, male or female, physical or verbal. It’s probably too much to ask for people to seek help with controlling their emotions so I’m only trying to give you a heads up on how to identify potential hazards. If you notice any of these extreme characteristics in someone that you’re interested in…run! They don’t get better, they only get worse especially if you’ve already allowed it to happen once.

Just as a side note, ‘extreme’ Physicals are the stalker type. If you tell them no, they come on even stronger…’because they love you so much’. Don’t fall for the I’m sorries and it won’t happen agains. It’s not that people don’t change, it’s just that they normally can not change without getting professional help.

Recently an anti Semitic politician was forced into a life changing situation when he discovered that he himself had jewish roots. After being confronted by an ex-convict about his grandmother being a Jew, Csanad Szegedi then tried to buy the silence of his whistle blower to no avail. He’s now began a confusing backtracking campaign to salvage what’s left of his public life in politics.

This was actually funny to me because of the irony involved. Although this is a clear example of how our beliefs get in the way of logic, there are many not so apparent examples that we encounter daily. This person is Catholic and this one is Protestant so they should hate each other to the level of being willing to kill for their opposing beliefs. It’s these very beliefs that keep us married to the ignorance of those that came before us.

Here’s another example: We’re in the one hundred fiftieth anniversary of the Civil War. Some argue that the Rebel soldiers that fought should be honored for fighting for what they believe in and others believe that the war was an ugly mark on American history and should be forgotten.

Who’s right or wrong in this situation. Well, let me say this and as always, you should come to your own conclusions. There was a time when it was illegal for African-Americans to learn to read… I still can’t believe that one. So, the result of this brilliant idea is that now there are still those who can’t read and don’t feel a need to learn how. Well that was three hundred years ago, some might say, what does that have to do with now. I’m glad you asked. It’s a little thing called DNA. DNA has memory and when this memory is combined with an environment of convoluted belief systems it creates an ever-growing cycle of willful ignorance.

So, why is this an issue? Well, an educated person has more financial opportunities than someone that is not. It’s not the economy, it’s education stupid. If everyone were afforded the same opportunities for quality education, there would be no need for affirmative action and welfare would be used for those who cannot physically work. There would be more people working and bringing more revenue into communities and neighborhoods, positively affecting the society as a whole. But now, what you see is that one segment of society is being held responsible for the welfare of another which creates more disdain and hatred.

So, in other words the very law that was created to keep ignorance alive and well worked. Now other laws have been created to try and reverse the effects of that brilliance. Hate is a virus and a tool of the unlearned to spread more debilitating consequences to our existence. We, then try to solve this riddle from the middle and become frustrated by the undesired results.

The resolution to this issue is not complicated at all… change these archaic belief systems on all sides! I know it’s ridiculous to believe this will ever happen but that doesn’t mean it’s not what should happen. It’s not our fault that we got to this point, however it is our fault if we stay here.

What is your definition of free will? Well let’s look at a definition of free to start. Free – Not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes. So, how many people do you know that are not under the control or power of another. We’ve been told that in America we live in a free society however, there are rules and guidelines in place to ensure stability within the society. So, to use the word free in these situations is misleading. Just as with a credit card. To receive a credit means that you have gained without recompense. This is not the case with a ‘credit’ card; if you use your credit you’re now in debt so how could this be a credit. They should be called debt cards.

So, back to free will. If everything that we now believe came about by suggestion as to what’s right or wrong as it

relates to our environment, then how could the decisions we make be free will… they’re not. Now, do we have choices in life? Yes, indeed we do, but those choices result in reward or punishment, this contradicts the value of free. It’s like saying you have free will to choose the red button or the green one, however if you choose the red one you’re going to die. That’s not free will, that’s you being presented with options that someone else has determined the outcome of your decision… again that is not free will.

My point here is to bring an awareness to the misleading and hypnotic words and phrases that we’ve been conditioned to believe without question. We cannot expect to get positive results when we keep starting with a flawed equation. The universe itself is operates within rules and guidelines so how could we possibly have ‘free’ will.

So, the bottom-line is that we were given boundaries to work within, and we are able to make decisions based on what we think is right or best for us inside of them. These boundaries dictate however a limit to how free we actually are. Our perception of reality and what’s possible in it has been told to us and very rarely do we stray from this conditioning. We often hear or use the phrase think outside of the box, well this would mean that you’re already in one. So, before we can ever truly be ‘free’ we must understand that we have already been imprisoned by societal or physical laws and the decisions that we make have been influenced or ordered by our environment or by others that we consider to be authorities in our lives. So do we have free will? I guess we do have free will to make decisions inside of this institution that we call life.

This is a common phrase used by many men to describe the type of woman they consider to be marriage material. Women will also say they want a sensitive man that knows how to get a little rough when the moment calls for it. In each of these scenarios, what’s being described is a person of balance.

This is an example of an Emotional suggestible and a Physical sexual. This is a woman who carries herself in a more conservative fashion while out in public but is unstoppable in the bedroom. Most men will go for the quiet passive type for long-term relationship purposes but they’ll cheat on her with the ‘freak in the sheets’ type. This is where the idea that men are never satisfied comes from. No matter how much the main girl does at home it’s never enough. Why is this? It’s because the very thing that makes her a conservative in public makes her conservative at home. The Emotional sexual is not connected to their physical body the way the Physical sexual is. She needs to be warmed up before jumping right into sex, this brings their feelings to the surface. She’s normally not a risk taker and will chastise him for being too much of a risk taker. The man becomes frustrated by her lack of sexual energy and the ‘I don’t do that type of thing’ attitude and will find someone else who will ‘do that type of thing’. She finds out that he’s cheating, will not understand why and begins to blame herself for his actions or just tells him to get out and the

Now, none of this applies if you’re not in a serious relationship or marriage. However, if you are looking to be with this person for the rest of your life, there will have to be some changes. Just because you decide that since you’ve never done a particular thing that you never will doesn’t mean that your mate is going to say “Oh ok, then I don’t want to do it either”. It’s just like squeezing a water balloon, the bubble will just pop up somewhere else. So, aside from causing physical harm to yourself or going against your morals there should not be anything that you wouldn’t do for one another; especially if you’re married. Imagine living the rest of your life not being able to get what you want from the person you love just because they don’t want to…not a good feeling. If you’d like to bring scripture into this look up (Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled”). Chastity before marriage is great but chastity after marriage is a disaster.

There is more to this story such as the man that doesn’t want intimacy as much as the woman or how much is too much, but I’m trying to keep this as short as possible. So the bottom line is, once you’ve found that special someone, go all out for them as they should be going all out for you. This way they don’t even have the energy to see the freak in the streets.

Sales can be a very grueling process…when you’re not making money. However, when your mojo is clicking and the sales are coming in there’s no better feeling. How do the most successful sales people do it? I worked in sales for a number of years and made a pretty decent living at it, I wish I would’ve known then what I know now about human behavior. We were required to attend sales training seminars and the speaker would go through the processes of how to identify a potential client, when to talk and when to shut up and so on. They provided valuable information but they never significantly improved my numbers so I just went for the free vacations…thanks!

First realize that whenever you talk to someone you’re selling them something or they’re selling you. Whether it’s an idea or convincing you that what they’re saying is right, it’s all sales. So, how do we incorporate this information into popping bottles? The trainers were correct in this, you must first identify the behavior type of the person you’re speaking with. You do this by allowing them to talk after you’ve introduced yourself and your reason for calling or being there. This will allow you to pick up on their modality of communication i.e. “Let me see what you have here” (visual) or “Let me get in touch with you (kinesthetic or feelings) or “I hear what you’re saying” (auditory). Identifying these keywords now gives you a door in.

The first rule of hypnosis is to listen, then build rapport and then create an emotional state in the subject using their words. It doesn’t matter what the product may be, if you don’t create an emotional attachment with it and the client…no sale. It’s really more about your sales technique than the product. I can’t tell you how many things I’ve bought that I didn’t need based on the sales person. Now, I may have thought that this person was really nice or they just made it sound so good but they had only hypnotized me momentarily. This happens in restaurants as well. A good waiter will come over and ‘suggest’ the days specials while using every adjective he/she can think of to describe the food. By the end of the spill you’ve forgotten what you really wanted and you’re ordering something completely different. This is building value in your product.

Overall I’d say, Physicals make the best sales people. This is due to their sociable personalities, persistence and never take no for an answer attitude. Emotionals are better with consultative selling than the in your face approach. Put the right personality in the correct position and you’ll see an increase in productivity. Speak literally and directly to the Physical and speak to the Emotional as if you really care about their issue. This gets you on the same page as the client and builds rapport. Use the words follow me or because from time to time, this sends a subconscious message to the client that you’re an authority or in control and that they should be following you. From this point take control, with both personality types and close the deal right then while the Emotions are still high. Don’t ask for the business, demand it. This process could take one visit or call or it could take three, regardless of the time frame, apply these principles and your success rate will increase.

Yes, I am writing about another reality show. These shows are perfect for identifying how the Physical and Emotional characters communicate; plus people are more interested in pop culture than being analyzed. So, here’s my break down of what I’ve seen so far on the show.

The problem in this relationship is that Scrappy and Erika are both Emotionals. Scrappy’s mom is definitely a Physical, look at how she’s involved with everything that he does. He may not know it but he’s really looking to be in a relationship with someone like his mom. Shay is a Physical as well and would actually make a better fit in a relationship for him than Erika. However, once they settle into their relationship (if they actually get into one) he’s going to say that she’s too bossy and that she acts like she’s his mother… I already see it. She will also ultimately bump heads with his mother because of the role that she plays in her son’s life and Shay will begin to see him as a momma’s boy. The relationship could work if they knew what they were up against… good luck to them.

Stevie J is also an Emotional. his status makes him more of an extrovert than he actually is. He uses this very status to control the women he comes into contact with, mostly physical women. It also seems that he uses the strip club to find some of his intended targets. This allows him to control the environment without relying on game or looks, simply money and reputation. Mimi appears to be an Emotional just by the way she puts up with all that goes on. He’s attracted to her because she’s more stable minded or at least less confrontational than the other women he encounters. They wouldn’t last in a normal relationship, they’d bore each other to death. Keeping her as his main chick is a way of holding on to some sort of stability in his life and she stays with him for the same reason. I don’t see things changing much in this situation. I could be wrong (I was one other time…lol) but I doubt it.

Kirk and Rasheeda’s issue is more with business than their personal relationship, although the business seems to be affecting that too. Rasheeda is an Emotional that’s why she comes across as being so cool. This is also why you’ve probably not heard of her until now. She’s like the cool girl in the corner with talent while someone without as much talent is in the spotlight. Emotionals are not good with showing or evoking emotions because they’re disconnected from or internalize them. The problem here is and is not her management. To be successful in entertainment you have to be an in your face character at all times and neither of them are extreme Physicals. Both of them are good at their jobs they’re just not a good business fit… to me. He listens to the things that she wants and tries to operate from that position or within that box. What she needs is someone that has a plan and vision for her career that matches her goals and then tell her what to do to get there. Business is business and relationships have a way of muddying the waters. So, I’d say to her (if I spoke to her about this) keep your business and your relationship separate it causes less stress. Also, you need to be more of a Physical if you’d like to see your career take off.

Joseline is of course a Physical, an extreme one, but she has exactly what it takes to become a star… she’s a character. Notice her style of dress and her willingness to confront anyone that opposes her and apologize when it’s all over. She also exposed the Emotional behavior in Mimi. After being threatened, Mimi spoke to Stevie about it and sent her response back through him and she’s holding a grudge about…at least that ‘s how it looked on the show. Physicals don’t do that, they will handle it right then and there regardless of the situation or outcome. As far as her getting into a serious relationship, that might not be in her near future. She’s such an extreme Physical, I’d be willing to go out on a limb and say she’s probably experienced some sort of abuse in her childhood. Again, I’m only guessing but this is typically the behavior of someone dealing with some hurt in their past.

So, there you have it. These people were chosen because of their personalities. That’s why you never see ‘normal’ characters on these shows… they’re boring. However, please keep in mind that television is the most profitable and successful hypnotist. If you find that your life is beginning to resemble a reality television show you may want to stop watching reality television…