In another remarkable day of political drama featuring a political payback scheme and a lengthy news conference, Gov. Chris Christie promised to create traffic jams in front of the driveways of two former aides who have been implicated in a scandal that is threatening to undermine the governor’s political aspirations."The people of New Jersey deserve better from me," Mr. Christie explained, "and as soon as I am done with these two, they’re going to get it."In a remarkable three-and-a-half-hour-long press conference, Mr. Christie meticulously laid out his plan for producing gridlock at the ends of the driveways of Bridget Anne Kelly and Bill Stepien. Both Ms. Kelley, the governor’s recently dismissed deputy chief of staff, and Mr. Stepien, Mr. Christie’s two-time campaign manager, have been linked to a plot to manufacture a huge traffic jam last September at the George Washington Bridge.For Mr. Christie, one of the leading figures in the Republican Party and a likely candidate for the GOP’s presidential nomination in 2016, the scandal represents the gravest challenge to his political career.At his extraordinary news conference yesterday the New Jersey governor seemed determined to demonstrate through his painstakingly precise explanations of angled cone placements, road gradients, and traffic volume counts that he possessed the management skills and un-bullylike behavior needed to manage a thriving state and execute a driveway congestion plan.Appearing chastened and uncharacteristically contrite, Mr. Christie admitted that the conditions that had caused the hours-long traffic jams last fall on the George Washington Bridge would be difficult to recreate on a residential driveway, but the governor said he would give it his best shot, which, he reminded the phalanx of reporters, is a lot better than anyone else’s best shot."I am really humbled by this whole experience," he said, barely making eye contact with his audience and showing only flashes of his usual pugnacity. Mr. Christie instead spent much of his time at the lectern nervously staring at a schematic drawing filled with complex cone formations and dense derivative equations – as if seeking its reassurance.The governor struggled at times to explain who in his inner circle is involved with the driveway plan and how it would be carried out.Mr. Christie at first seemed to take overall responsibility for the scheme, insisting there was no need for him to alert the New York Port Authority to the driveway closures, even conceding at one point that he had called New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo to complain that "Patrick Foye, the executive director of the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, was pressing too hard to get to the bottom of the driveway traffic problem.But a little later, Mr. Christie said that drivewaygate was a team effort and that it would be "deceitful" of him to deprive his 65,000 employees "and anyone else" an opportunity to take part in the payback scheme.He told reporters the idea for the closures was hatched after he gathered what was left of his top staff members and asked if any of them had a plan for dealing with the bridge scandal, casually mentioning his own the driveway-closure proposal, which had come to him while toweling off after his morning workout."I gave them an hour to think about it and they all reported that they loved the idea," Mr. Christie said.He was "led to believe by folks around me that there was every reason to do this," he said, adding that he felt "sad" and "humiliated" that he hadn’t thought of the plan as soon as the damning emails about the lane closings on the George Washington Bridge were made public last week.Mr. Christie said he had gone to the dwellings of Ms. Kelley and Mr. Stepien before yesterday’s press conference to get a better look at the neighborhoods that would be affected by the driveway closures. Some residents, he said, cheered him as he arrived, even as the presence of his motorcade briefly created yet another traffic jam."I am stunned that this hasn’t gone away yet," Mr. Christie said of the scandal engulfing his office. "But I always tell my staff – and I know they get this – the best way to think about payback is to think about 2016."Philip Maddocks writes a weekly satirical column. He can be reached at pmaddocks@wickedlocal.com.

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