Dude I still think you're being insecure about this...You have no proof and she gave you what sounds like a reasonable explination.You're jumping to conclusions that she was checking out other guys...

She checked her email - someone sent her a message..Big freakin' deal.. You wanna win her over? Man up and show her why you're awesome. Sell yourself. She obviously has an interest because she did spend the weekend with you..and if you want to be exclusive, TALK TO HER. Don't set expectations - start communicatin'.

yea I agree with you on that - its like answering your cell phone while on a date.

But again its not something you can really get upset over either. Did she do it deliberately in front of you? Because it sounds like she was trying to hide it... which is atleast respectable imo.

Until you guys are exclusive and if she doesn't do it right in front of you, you can't blame her for keeping her options open...on top of that, she was emailed.

What would you have done if positions were reversed? remember,not exclusive, just dating,and shes not around...and you get an email from another girl on the site..are you telling me you wouldn't look at it?

He asked what I want, I said someone I can have a close relationship with, hang out with, trust and talk to about things. I aked what he wants and he said the same thing as you, I just don't want to get hurt. i told him everyone is afraid of getting hurt! To sum it up, we are going to go out again and give it a try.

Good!! Glad to hear you guys have something and you're both willing to give it a shot. I got out of a marriage not too long ago too.... My advice: Take it slow. He's obviously not quite 100% in your comfort zone yet.. Build that up, let him feel 100% comfortable. Understand that its not your fault and it will take some time, but he will get there. Just don't pressure him..

I know there are the people out there who are going to say I'm naive and just asking to get hurt, but I really like this guy and I love how he talks things out with me and is willing to give it a shot despite his fear, he's very honest with me.

In my opinion,you guys already have a strong foundation for a good relationship. You two talk to each other and communication is completely open - thats part of that comfort level i was talking about..and the best part is, he's honest. Just continue to build upon this - you can only go up from here.

You both seem to be getting advice from friends that is hurting your budding romance. His friends tell him you will break his heart; your friends tell you to date other guys. If you both follow the advice given you'll be reinforcing the bad stuff - he'll be hurt and pull away - you'll see him pull away and see other guys.

I personally wished friends and family, sometimes, stayed out of relationships... because their advice seems to honestly be more detrimental to what you really want at times.

find it interesting people are getting upset about the porn on the cell phone..

i would imagine most guys like myself are visually stimulated, and sometimes need that aid (especially if we're hungover from a night of drinking.) Although if you thought it was hot OP, you should have joined in...hopped on top..i'm sure he would have appreciated that..he probably felt embarassed.. next time don't wait too long (don't want to shorten his fuse) and tell him you find it sexy or hott, or whatever..

from my experience women are at their horniest in the morning...and i doubt he knows this..

I guess I just care about STD's and STI's that I safe guard myself... A lot of people just don't seem to care as much... Condoms aren't 100 percent so

Then find a FWB who believes in -edit-monogamy.. Its not unrealistic to find, especially once you explain how you feel about STD's and STI's. I do have friends that do this and it works out well for both parties.

Its ultimately you're choice. Some people don't have the time or energy at a current point in their life to make an emotional committment - maybe some people can't or don't want to (whether its just broke up/work too much, etc.). There are many reasons people do it..

But if they're on here looking for a relationship but have a FWB, then they obviously don't see anything long term with their FWB..

As guy who just recently seperated from the military, I can tell you meeting new people isn't really that hard. I did a fare amount of traveling and people aren't really that different. You have some that like to talk, some that don't. If you're a social guy like me, I'm sure it won't be hard to make new friends and meet new people. Small towns ain't too bad man.

Just gotta find out whats hot in town - read the news paper, ask about downtown areas, or whatever you're into...

"Whore in the bedroom, Martha Stewart in the kitchen". From my experience most men would welcome the fun and excitement of a sexually aggressive female, but this is not the woman they want as their GF, wife or SO.

Aggressive, dominant, or independent women usually get a negative reputation from men.

I think you misinterpretted that.

Nothing wrong with having an awesome wife thats sweet,kind, caring, and an absolutely dynamite in the bedroom.

Thats probably every guys ideal woman right there. "Woman in the street but a freak in the sheets"

Already been the submissive wife route..didn't like it.. maybes it because i like someone whose just as sexually adventurous as me

So I went over my boyfriends house last night. I'm 26 and he's 38 btw. Were laying in bed, relaxing and watching tv. I wanted to have sex And was tired of waiting for him to initiate it, so I decided to. so I wore a sexy bra and panty set under my clothes and basically still, he didn't initiate sex or jump all over me.

Sounds like to me you need to stop expecting him to read your mind and maybe you should take the initiative.

....or theres always one area on him you can mess with to get his attention... just saying'..

But maybe if anything its probably because I like change... I know one thing for sure, I love it when a girl attacks me.. it is a pretty big turn on

According to my boyfriend (I asked him, what can I say? LOL), he likes when women are as excited about sex as men are. He likes to know we want it to and that it's not always him who has to ask for/propose it.

But that's one man's opinion, you'll get many others.

Exactly. It got to a point with my ex where it felt like a routine to me... like it was more of a just a service, even if she thoroughly enjoyed it.. it really got old always being the initiator.

Personally I think the best way is to just switch up..If you got an impulse or an urge to attack each other, trying to iniating something..more thna likely you're other partner will tag along..especially if its like some fantasy (like some people are into sex in dressing rooms as an example)

If you two truly love each other and want it to work out, then do it. Whose to stop you? And whose not saying that you guys might be right for each other? People don't keep getting back together over and over and over because theres nothing there.

It sounds like you guys have some issue and need to work through them (most importantly is trust and communication) - trust me, I just got out of a marriage because the communication and trust broke down... thats the problem.Once you start losing that, its a snowball effect.

But its not unfixable if you have the drive, and are willing to do it - seeing as how you both are on here together asking about what to do, it seems obvious to me what the answer is.

Go for it - stay together,but you two really need to think before you act, learn to compromise, and learn how to communicate. I'd also suggesting reading "Men are From Mars,Women are from venus" - it might help you and i personally believe its a book EVERY couple should read.

breast size doesn't matter to me much.. my ex barely filled her b-cups (i think she only got b's for self esteem purposes) but when she was actually getting off on letting me doing things to them,thats when it mattered to me...

I find a girl with sensitive nipples/breasts more fun/attractive then a girl with big or small..

to op: just playing devil advocate here.. if he really was talking to another girl, could it be possible that SHE'S really into that and he might just be getting into it, or doing it for her? You never really know because you don't have any details.. and like you said,you're not exclusive.

Well, considering HPV is the primary cause of Cervical Cancer in women...And that as many women die each year from HPV related Cervical Cancer as the number of women who die from AIDs ... And that's just in the U.S.A... That means, HPV is as big of a health risk to women as AIDs is...And that's not taking into account anal cancers, and penile cancer in men...

according to gynos though, its only a risk if a woman doesn't get papsmears.

I've read and heard that the body will fight off the virus and it'll eventually run its course (the kind that causes cancer,not warts) - its only a risk to women who don't get papsmears and people who smoke. Gay men are supposed to have an increased risk of penile and anal cancer too.

I'm just curious how many of us girls out there are just the 'girl next door' or 'one of the guys' and seems to only make the perfect friend? What are we doing wrong? Is it the way we look? Is it the way we act? Im just curious, feel free to comment your thoughts boys and girls....

it could be you're just a not good match for them. atleast they're telling you straight up as opposed to finding out months or years down the road.

sounds like a plan. yes she was a shark. I AM GLAD i DIDNT MARRY HER AS well. I can see her for all her flaws now. I mean this act seem almost professional. trust me I looked for signs and they were not there until I left her for afgahnistan. I mean who breaks up with a soldier while he is deployed. really who does that. anyway I am gonna take other avenues to approach this matter, It willbe all legal tho.

one of my friend's just had his wife divorce him while he was deployed...she waited about a month or 2 into deployment to do it.

Where have you had your head buried? This has not only been all over the news....there has even been threads here about it!!

"Scientists say that 64 percent of cancers of the oral cavity, head, and neck in the U.S. are caused by human papillomavirus (HPV), which is commonly spread via oral sex"http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20035363-10391704.html

Atleast theres a way to prevent HPV. While there are tons of strains, they do offer vaccinations. I know Guardasil is one, and I believe a few years ago they started administrating them to 14 year old girls in Middle schools.

The problem with HPV is there a lot of strains where Men don't know they're carriers, and theres no way to test for it

There are SOME good ones, but not too many ( from my experience ). Just a few of the guys here in the Forums, but none of them live near me :(

several years ago i thought I had a good one too...she had her head on shoulders, or so it seemed... she was 16 or 17, i was 18...well we develoepd a relationship pretty quickly online, over 3 months.. i know age is a factor too soo..

needless to say, she definitely had some issues...probably daddy issues...because on the way back from the air port,and this should have been a red flag, we stopped for gas and she started making out with me - pretty soon, her hand was in my pants.

guess its not shocking that when i left,about a month later she cheated on me..

I hope this isn't redundant but I've spent an hour searching threads & wasn't able to find anything relevant.Here's the situation: a close friend of mine met a guy that she clicks with well but he's a very small guy (short, tiny hands, ect.). She's concerned that his smallness may carry over to um, other areas as well. She's not the type to fool around much before marriage so a "test drive" is out of the question. So, is there any reliable way to determine his size without seeing, feeling or flat out asking

I'd say dance with him or make out with him and kinda grind on that area with her leg or somethin...I am yet to here a girl tell me she doesn't "feel me" when shes dancing with me, making out with me, etc. whatever.. doesn't matter if I'm wearing Jeans or khaki's either..

But dancing would be the best way without doing any kind of intimacy..just put on a hip hop song and grind away lol :)

Just keep trying, thats all I can say. Exhaust all of your avenues..but if I were you I'd be making an appointment with the JAGS right now.

Maybe Even tell the Master at Arms or MP's for your unit. I know we also had Legal advisors for us we could go see...and if you get an answer you don't like, take it with a grain of salt,and go find a JAG.

My Sister and brother in law have been married for 7 years,still together.

I was married for 4 years but I married someone too young, and I never saw the warning signs..but I loved her.

All 3 relationships began online

So I'd say yes - you can find love anywhere, and never rule out an opportunity to meet someone great. People can laugh about using dating sites, but I just look at it as one more avenue of meeting people.

Honestly sounds like the officer doesn't want to do the leg work. If theres other proof and legal work you can find, I'm sure you know to take it..but I'm talking like times,dates,etc.. Definitely get JAG involved and at the worst you can make this a civil suit.Request a new detective if need be.

But don't give up - you're a military guy man. We don't give up when we start taking fire - WE FIGHT. treat this as the same situation.

I'm sure I'll get blasted for this but this is how I feel about the issue:

An overweight person to me is a reflection of themselves. When someones in shape, it shows me that they take care of themselves and they care about their body, health, and are fairly active.

Situations a little bit different for me though - theres nothing like having a sibling is an overweight alcoholic, diabetic with high blood sugar...watching them drink themselves away, without a care in a world for what they're doing to themselves or the people that care for them.. I won't date someone who doesn't take care of themselves..but I'm also a fairly active person, and I look for someone to be active with. And some of the things I like to do might require someone to be fit (like hiking,rock climbing, sports,etc.)

However I understand that there are some people with medical issues that can't lose the weight - but to some degree I believe a lot of it comes down to drive and determination...I've known people who were told "You can't do X again" and because they are fighters, they try to do it anyway..and eventually with enough work,they can. I mean like people that have come out of car acccidents and been told they won't be able to walk again..they have a choice to make - just go with what the doctor says and accept it, or if you really want it, do what you can and go after it.. and believe it or not, some of those people are walking again.

I don't know your situation, if you have any medical problems..but if you want to lose the weight, do it for yourself. Not only will you feel better about yourself and gain confidence that you're lacking, but its also healthier for you and you'll be physically able to do more things that once were probably just a thought.

I was just curious about this and anyone is free to answer this question if you'd like. How does a man benefit from marriage? I hear stories from some people how great it is and some not so good. I love to hear your input.

Thanx.

The same way a woman benefits from marriage. You have someone to be with, to share your love with, who you care for.

Marriage, in my opinion, is a concept that people tend to overreact to. I think sometimes people let the idea of marriage override their relationship and it starts a downward spiral. I'm sure tons of you have heard of people being in relationships for years and everything is great, but when it becomes "official" through marriage,things begin to deteriorate.

I look at it like this - at the end of the day, its legal binding paperwork with some jewelery involved....but you're still with the person you love,and a "concept" shouldn't change things.