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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

CRAZY DAISY AWARD

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Sweet adorable Sherry Ellis at Mama Diaries has seen fit to bestow an award on me. I haven't been accepting awards for a while, but I decided to take this one because it involves craziness.

Yes, this is the Crazy Daisy Award. Sherry said she didn't know if I'm crazy. Boy, does she have some learning to do.

1. I'm a Lutheran, but I don't like coffee. You kinda have to be a Lutheran to understand how weird this one is.

2. I used to make up songs to sing to my kids' poopy diapers. I also gave the poop names.

3. All of my dogs -- except one, Franklin -- have had names of authors or characters in books. I've been graced by the presence of Faulkner, Kesey, Thoreau, and Emma, and currently, Scout and Harper Lee.

4. Some of my closest friends are other bloggers; that is, you are people I've never met, and I love you all dearly. Elisa at http://ecwrites.blogspot.com/ (The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom) has become the middle child I never had. We even have an anniversary to celebrate her addition to my family.

5. I loved studying Chaucer and Milton and other writers most people think are boring in order to get my degree in English. I LOVE "The Scarlet Letter." Hawthorne based it on my life.

6. I have stated on this blog more than once that in real life I am Lorelai Gilmore, and I am. Yes, it's true. I am Lorelai Gilmore. And if I'm not Lorelai Gilmore, then I want to be Myrna K. Schnickleblitz-Schwarz.

Why does none of this surprise me about you? Some of the people I think dearly of are fellow bloggers. I totally get what you're saying there. It surprises me how often I think and wonder how my bloggerhood is doing throughout the day.

What is all this I read? Janie you are probably one of the sanest people I know and you can count them on your fingers and toes!I have names for inanimate objects too...mainly my microwave, washing machine and kettle...but they are secret names and if I tell anyone then they will probably take it badly and go off in a huff, and not do their work. {Things are like that, so I'd better be careful about my lap-top....} ;)

The Hurricane and I gave names to many objects (but I never gave names to poop). Our huge dictionary is named Fred. Fred is one of my favorite books because he teaches me new words. We also had Bridget the Refrigerator and then when we moved we had Gidget the Refrigerator. The Hurricane has a little baby laptop named Sparky. She got a larger laptop recently, and I think she named it Bolt. Fortunately, we are able to call out names and our inanimate objects still condescend to work for us. It's because The Hurricane is so strong and she has threatened everything into behaving.

Personally I think it would be great to have six fingers. People would never know for sure whether you're flipping them off.

A few weird things about me:

- I have a decepticon symbol on my right shoulder- I always turn my head when driving through a forest in the hopes of seeing Bigfoot. - I have this odd theory called Dimensional Drift where I believe that a lot of our best ideas actually come from small tears in reality from alternate dimensions where these "ideas" are actually being lived out.

You don't seem all that odd to me; but then most folks think I'm a tad tetched too. Life is a lot more fun that way. When I was in Walmart with Evelyn I grabbed her arm, acted hurt and asked her "How could you have forgotten our anniversary?"

Favorite Young Man once had a girlfriend who was so embarrassed by me that she wanted to pretend she didn't know me when we were in the grocery store. Come to think of it, The Hurricane often says she wishes she didn't look like me so she could pretend she's not my child. What in the hell is the matter with people who don't think I'm hilarious and adorable? I ask you, Boomer, don't you think they're the strange ones?

I love your craziness, it just makes you that much more wonderful! I have too many weird things to list but one is that I can't make armpit fart noises because I don't have an indented armpit, which I find sad because who doesn't want to make armpit fart noises??? Ok, so maybe I was more sad about it when I was in high school...

Dear Janie, one weird thing about me: the doctor had to use an instrument to extract my head when I was born. Ever since I've had light indentions on both cheeks. They show only when I'm sick and consequently a little pale. I'm never sure if I'm faking sickness, so I always look in the mirror to see if I can see the marks! Peace.

Fun list, kiddo. I love coffee, but it stopped liking me a while back, so I'm a Lutheran who doesn't drink coffee, too. As for the six fingers on one hand, one of my cousins was born with two thumbs, which was surgically removed when he was a baby. Everyone worried about the day he'd be old enough to ask about that scar, and how awful... how weird and freaky... how upset... he'd be when he found out about the spare thumb. But ya know, when he got the story, he said, "COOL!" and was upset that he didn't still have it. Just goes to show you ... one person's "weird" is another one's "cool".