Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Let's Discuss Demi Lovato's New Digs

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: First there was the brouhaha that surrounded the break up of Disney darling DemiLovato (Sonny With a Chance, Camp Rock, Disney 365) and squeaky clean tween heart throb Joe Jonas. Lovely reports quickly followed that announced that the two remain thick as thieves. Despite the bust up, much to the delight of their legions of freako-fans, they embarked on an international tour together, as friends. Next came all the glowing gossip glossy reports about what a nice young woman little Miss Lovato is, so nice that on (or around) her 18th birthday she bought her family a multi-million dollar house in suburban Los Angeles.

Then, little Miss Lovato's publicity worm turned. Last week, little Miss Lovato bailed out of her international tour with the Jonas Brothers and entered a rehab facility for–according to her spokespeople–emotional and physical issues that include cutting and some sort of eating disorder. As if that weren't awful enough, some college student in some Texas town nobody but Texans have ever heard of went public claiming he spent an evening with little Miss Lovato last year during which she cut and snorted lines of cocaine like a damn pro, leading some to speculate that little Miss Lovato's issues are more extensive than originally revealed by her people. Why this moe-ron in the T-X went to the press with this salacious information is beyond Your Mama, but it looks a little bit like someone attempting to grab their Warholian 15 minutes any desperate way they can. Whatever else is to be gained by his mouthing off?

The icing on little Miss Lovato's bad news cake, perhaps, are the rumors and fresh reports that prior to getting herself up in the rehab, 18-year old little Miss Lovato was dating 30-year old ack-tor Wilmer Valderrama, a grown man with a bit of a history dating troubled young starlet-types including currently in rehab Lindsay Lohan and faux-punk chick Avril Lavigne. Mister Valderrama's representative denies any romance with the barely legal little Miss Lovato, which we hope is true because Your Mama doubts Mister Valderrama would privately have much use for little Miss Lovato'spublic pledge of virginal chastity.

Anyhoo, as fascinatin' as little Miss Lovato'stopsy-turvy life may be, let's get on back around to the real estate matter at hand, the house that little Miss Lovato so generously and recently purchased for her family. It certainly isn't news that little Miss Lovato bought a new crib–she's been yakking about it to the tabloids and gossip glossies for months–but thanks to those bizzy boys at Celebrity Address Aerial Your Mama has learned that little Miss Lovato's new digs, tucked into the foothills of Sherman Oaks, CA walking distance to the Galleria, cost the teenager a very grown up $2,250,000.

Listing information for the walled and gated 1928 Spanish style casa shows the 3-story main house measures 4,053 square feet. The 4 bedrooms and 4.5 poopers include a jr. master suite–that's a slightly larger than average sized bedroom with private facilities–and a proper master suite comprised of bedroom with fireplace, private pooper with separate soaking tub and glass enclosed steam shower, dual walk-in closets, kitchenette, and a small covered terrace that overlooks the back yard and has views across Sherman Oaks and the San Fernando Valley.

The formal living room has hardwood floors, a fireplace, arched window and a vaulted ceiling with exposed trusses. A tiled fountain in the slim front courtyard at the front of the house can be seen through the large arched window in the formal dining room. The breakfast room opens into the u-shaped kitchen with its overly-ordinary beige tile floors, white tile counter tops with decorative accents that (unfortunately) depict woven chains of leaves, and high grade stainless steel appliances that include a mac-daddy six burner Viking brand range with two ovens and a griddle for flipping flapjacks.

Other rooms in the main house include: A family room with built-in media center, very 1970s sunken wet bar, and kiva-style corner fireplace; An office suite with built-in desks and file cabinets; A cedar lined sauna that seats 4-6 people; And inside laundry facilities with laundry chute. Additional amenities include central vacuum, heat and air, plaster walls, intercom, security and sprinkler systems, low-flow terlits and built-in barbecue center.

The backyard, a somewhat haphazard tree shaded jumble of palm trees, birds of paradise, banana trees and other tropical jungle-like foliage, tumbles down from the terrace at the back of the house and includes a whole mess of tile and stone patios, tiered gardens, a grotto style heated swimming pool with waterfall and built in slide, a spa tucked down into some fake boulders, a couple patches of grass, and a sport court surrounded by a tacky chain link fence.

The detached 820 square foot guest cottage, which little Miss Lovato reportedly occupies or occupied before she got shipped of to the rehab, sits atop the 3-car garage and has private access via a back alley so little Miss Lovato–and perhaps Mister Valderramaiffin the rumors are true–can come and go as she pleases without her parents being all up in her bizness. The wee, tile-roofed residence has hardwood floors, a corner fireplace in the living room, a full kitchen with black and white tile counter tops and honey colored cabinetry, small dining area, laundry closet with stacked machines, separate bedroom and full bathroom with tile accents and a tacky green sink that Your Mama hopes Miss Lovato has the good decorative sense to rip out and replace with something less thematic.

Iffin little Miss Lovato's career gets stuck in professional molasses or hits the skids entirely, according to listing information, the guest house could provide a rental income of $2,400 per month. Now, children, Your Mama isn't sure exactly just what sort of person lays out $2,400 a month to rent a one bedroom guest cottage in Sherman damn Oaks, but apparently there are those who do just that.

Your Mama should not have to remind the children not to cat around this celebrity home or any other celebrity home because they don't need nobody up on their doorstep doing the doorbell ditch or trying to peep them as they pull out of their damn driveway. Especially this little Miss Lovato gurl who is going to need some time, peace and quiet to get her psychological things together when she gets out of the rehab. Okaaay?

Until moving to their new digs in Sherman Oaks, little Miss Lovato and her family leased a 6 bedrom and 6+ pooper Mediterranean style mini-mansion in the upscale Los Angeles community of Toluca Lake where just about every pre-teen and tweenage Disney star and their family currently live or have lived including Miley Cyrus, the Duff sisters, Ashley Tisdale, ZacEfron, and the Jonas Brothers.

Most of us like the verbal, gossipy who cares vomit Mama dishes here so quit your bitching 8:03. Nobody makes you read this blog. If you don't like it, move the fuck on to something you deem worthy of your time and eyeballs and leave us alone.

If I paid $2 million for a property in Sherman Oaks, I'd except it to be HUGE, updated and with a large bakcyard. This place looks rundown, small and has almost no yard. The only selling point is the pool.

Both the bathroom and the kitchen need to be updated. They are very tiny so I'm not sure what you can do with that.

The house just looks worn and old. It's not in the best part of town. They totally overpaid. I would haven't even given them $1 millon for this.