Feeling stuck? Lonely? Jaded?

That's exactly where I was a few years ago.

Today, I'm feeling more fulfilled than ever before, and I'm lucky enough to coach Fortune 100 leaders at some of the most famous companies in the world.

But it wasn't easy to get here (and I still struggle sometimes). For most of my life, I'd felt a hollow void inside myself that was eating away at me. I didn't understand it, and I was jealous of other people who seemed so happy and fulfilled.

I decided to do something about it, and I spent two years pushing myself to experiment outside my comfort zone. I was a huge skeptic, but I tried everything from ecstatic dance to a Spirit Journey with a shaman.

Sound like you? Then you’ve come to the right place—because that was me a few years ago, andI created this site for you

My Journey

Personal

Running away from the void

Why so many moves? I told myself I was searching for fulfillment and happiness. I tried to find it at each place, then I got bored, felt stuck, and moved.

I kept running because I felt a void inside me that I didn't understand. I knew something big was missing but I wasn't sure what. And there was a physical tightness in my gut that chased me wherever I went.

I finally realized that wasn't sustainable.

Leaning into my edge and putting my comfort on the line

I’ve always been a very analytical, logical person who’s shied away from serious emotional and spiritual growth. I stopped identifying with religion as a teenager, and—as much as I hated myself for it—I looked down on overly-emotional “feelers.”

I knew I wasn't truly happy, and a few years ago I decided to take a hard look at my life and do something about it.

I'd always rejected the idea of "putting down roots" somewhere since I thought that would be admitting defeat. I thought it would mean abandoning personal development to just settle down and be like everyone else. But I decided to actually test that theory and stay put in Portland to see if I could find a lifestyle and friends that finally resonated with me.

Transforming my life

It worked.

I settled down in Portland and I tried everything from meetups, to church, to speed dating, to hanging out with hippies in a yurt in the forest.

Most of all, I found communities that I really resonated with, and I finally found my people. I felt like I belonged, and that was incredible after so long feeling lonely.

I started going to community retreats every month, and I went from being the guy standing awkwardly on the side watching other people dance to being the first one out on the dance floor.

I realized how many stories I'd been telling myself that simply weren't true—like that dancing was for other people (physically-oriented people, I told myself, not mentally-oriented people like me).

And after a lot of hard work, I finally learned what it's really like to feel alive.

Professional

I’ve coached world-class teams and leaders

My career has taken me everywhere from game design on one of the top-rated PlayStation 3 series of all time (Uncharted), to leading major web and app projects used at events like the Super Bowl and the Olympics.

Nowadays, my day job is coaching teams and executives at Fortune 100 companies to help them be more self-aware, communicate more clearly, and work together to build awesome features that will excite their users.

Coaching thinkers to fill the void and learn how to feel

But I want to go deeper, beyond the face that we’re willing to reveal at work. I’m inspired to help people with their true selves—with their personal struggles outside the corporate context.

So, my side practice is coaching individuals to help them unlock their potential by better understanding their unique way of seeing and processing the world.

I’m especially focused on fellow NTs in the Myers-Briggs system—people who think very logically and analytically. NTs tend to get overwhelmed with endless goals and projects, and they feel like they’re always in their heads thinking about the future.

I understand because I’ve been there, and I’ve done the hard work to push myself through those problems that can weigh us down and make us feel stuck.

The elusive “life purpose”

Here's an example of an important lesson I learned the hard way.

Personal development authors love to talk about life purpose. They'll casually mention theirs as if they'd always known it.

Worst of all are the self-help books that talk about "finding" your purpose, as if it'll simply come to you one day on a backpacking trip across Southeast Asia or at a Vipassana meditation retreat.

For years, I'd been trying to "find" my life purpose. I traveled. I read all the books. But nothing ever felt quite right.

Here's the truth.

It's a lot harder than all that. But once you really figure it out, it does change everything.

After years of treading water, I worked with a coach who challenged me to explore a completely different side of life—the world of feelings, embodiment, and ecstatic experiences.

It will be different for each person. But those things turned out to be exactly what I needed to be pushed toward. And after a lot of hard work, I finally realized that my purpose wouldn't ever find me.

I had to create it.

My life purpose is to be the pathfinder who investigates alternative paths to personal growth; then, to model and teach the most effective ones to help other people feel more alive and aligned with their life purpose.

It's a bit of a mouthful, but it's very specifically written to capture all the nuances that are important to me.

And I want to be transparent about something: That's what it looks like after 9 iterations (and that's 9 for this latest version alone—there were many other versions over the years that never felt quite right).

See what I mean? Reading through it, you might assume I came up with it in a single afternoon.

Nope. That purpose statement represents months of work.

And because of that, there's real power behind it. It feels more alive to me, and that makes me want to take it seriously.

But, truthfully, it would have taken me far longer to get there if I'd continued my effort alone.

I'd meditated on it, I'd read all the big lifehacking books, and I'd gone through the most commonly recommended life planning exercises.

But the real shift came when I worked with a coach. Someone who got to know me and my specific needs, not the general reader that the book authors are speaking to.

Someone who really heard me and challenged me to go after what I truly needed.

My Coaching

(How I can help you)

Improve your self-awareness

by understanding how you process information, how you uniquely see the world, and how that might be different from other people.

Be more fulfilled and purpose-driven

by understanding what makes you feel energized, and how to overcome the struggles that hold you back from achieving your potential.

Deepen your relationships

so you develop empathy, feel less alone, and forge more authentic, vulnerable connections with the important people in your life.

Client testimonial

“I kept walking away with one refreshing insight after another”Ryan, Director at a Fortune 10 Company

"There was a time in our early sessions where I questioned whether working with Michael would be valuable to me. Our first encounter led to an 'a-ha' moment that I wrote off as a lucky break. But when I kept walking away with one refreshing insight after another, I knew that all credit is due to Michael himself. I encourage any skeptic to give Michael two meetings to prove his worth – and I’ll tell you right now that the second meeting is only for you to be convinced that the first wasn’t a fluke.

Michael admirably applies praise where deserved and tends to avoid positivity for positivity’s sake. He does not judge – he seeks to understand. His inquisitive nature and mannerisms are a refreshing blend of friendly banter, humor, and understanding that are hard to find and very much appreciated. There is great peace of mind in knowing that at least one person outside of my family can be absolutely trusted with my most confidential musings about my career.

He has an uncanny ability to say something back to me in a way that’s more coherent than how I first said it. When I hear my thoughts stated back to me it brings a certain permanence, conviction, and power to them I am challenged to replicate on my own.

I can’t thank Michael enough, and I wholeheartedly encourage you to take advantage of his gift."

—Ryan, Director at a Fortune 10 Company

Avoid regret: Take action and start feeling truly alive

According to a study in the journal Emotion, the most enduring type of regret is the failure to live up to our goals and aspirations. The author calls it "the connection to a person's self-concept."

In other words, the most powerful kind of regret you're likely to feel is that you never became the person you wanted to be.

Nowadays, there are endless resources with all the information you could ever want on how to build the ideal life, be happy, and achieve your potential.

But your life still isn't where you want it to be. So what are you lacking?

It's not knowledge.

What you're missing is the mindset shift to truly believe it, the behavior to back it up, and the practice to make all that a real part of your life.

It's the difference between reading a book about confidence and actually pushing yourself to go out there and do something scary.

That's what creates the real sensation of confidence in your body where you can really feel it. Where you can truly believe it and remember it.

You know what you should be doing, but how can you live it?

I won't promise to have all the answers, but I can tell you what finally led me to making the real changes in my life that made me feel alive:

I worked with an amazing coach. I was completely vulnerable with her, and she looked past my excuses and the old stories I'd been telling myself. She saw who I had the potential to become and she believed it even before I did.

I doubted that her advice could work, but she kept challenging me.

And she stuck with me as I made it happen.

Ready to take the next step?

The first coaching session is on me so we can make sure we're the right fit for each other. Let's find out what you're really struggling with and work together to break through your barriers.

What should I call you?

What's your email address?

What would you like me to know?

My Writing

My goal: dig deep and go beneath the surface-level

Back when I was in coach training, the teacher said she was grateful I was part of the class because I was the one who raised my hand to call BS. I refused to just accept concepts on faith without really understanding the intent behind them.

The lifehacking space is full of top-10-style articles with a couple of generic sentences for each that gloss over the hard details. If you're here, my guess is that you won't really buy into something either unless you can understand what's really going on. So, my goal is to go deep on topics that are important to me.

For example, we all know that daily habits are important, but what are the specific steps that will make them stick? It's not enough to just try harder when taking action seems overwhelming.

My First Topic: Lessons learned the hard way

As I continue my own personal growth journey and keep pushing against my edges, I'll pass on lessons I've learned that address the realities of personal development.

I've tried all sorts of things, so I'll tell you what's worked and what hasn't.

My Second Topic: Translating between worlds

Another passion of mine is seeing issues from multiple perspectives and translating between different types of people who might typically judge each other harshly because they don't authentically understand each other.

It could be that you're frustrated by the way your partner keeps asking you to do something that you feel you're already doing.

In my case, I used to judge overly-emotional people harshly, and it was hard for me to see value in anything too "woo-woo."

For example, when I first started spending time with "hippies" or "New Agey" people, I was turned off by their use of the word "energy".

But, as I spent more time with them, I came to realize that—most of them at least—weren't talking about auras and telepathic healing. They were simply using the word "energy" in the same way that a more analytical person might talk about the vibe in the room or their perception of someone else's state of mind.

So, my final goal with my blog is to provide my understanding of the intent of words like that so that we can all better understand each other.