Lost To Multiple Sclerosis: Friends

With all the really great people who have come into my life – you included – since my diagnosis with multiple sclerosis it’s easy not to focus on those who have left it because of my disease… but I have lost friends and I’m sure you have as well.

Now, it would be easy to brush it off and say that they weren’t friends to begin with. In the case of some, that could be true. We might chalk some abandonment up to the natural course that some friendships take. Some of us might still be in that place where we defend those who bail with “I can’t blame them… who’d want to be around this if they had a choice.”

All of those (and more) may be true at one time or another, but it still hurts.

To be fair, some of us are to blame for friendships that are no longer after MS. We can pull away for different reasons just as our former comrades might have. We should take responsibility to repair any damage we might have done. But this blog is about those who have turned tail on us.

Over the years I’ve read too many heartbreaking comments from you about best buds that stopped calling or faded away. You’ve written of childhood pals who treat you like you’ve a contagion and besties that now blame you for your disease so no longer want anything to do with you. Worst of all is the one-time chums who stuff us with negative and feed on our pain.

Seriously; who needs them?

I’m a firm believer in “better bad breathe than no breath” when it comes to living with MS. I cannot, however, say that we should be willing to suffer a bad friend just to have someone to call “friend”.

There is only so much room in my Friend Ship. If someone doesn’t want to come along for the ride, let them swim away. If another is causing toxic waste to fill up my boat – OVERBOARD! I would rather float around alone that to put up with those who don’t want to be there or those who think that it’s their gift to me that they are.

All the more room for the next bunch of really great people – once again, yourselves included – to jump in and help me row sometimes and enjoy the party others. Who knows, if you push enough of the false fellow flotsam into the sea, you might just need a bigger ship for all your new friends.

So, good riddance to bad friends! I’m sorry you didn’t find it worth your time to hang around and find out what this new turn of events was going to be about. MS is a mean, terrible and nasty thing… but we’re still good people and good friends.

How about you; old friends gone? Bad friends still around? New friends “via” MS?

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Trevis Gleason

Trevis L. Gleason is a food journalist and published author, an award-winning chef and culinary instructor who has taught at institutions such as Cornell University, New England Culinary Institute and...read more