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You Hurt My Feelings!

Really? Adults really say this? I see this posted in here, and I've got a certain friend who says it regularly, and it sounds like pansy whining each and every time. To me, this is a phrase that is uttered by little girls and toddlers. You hurt my feelings. Is it really other people's responsibility to guard the feelings of adults? There are really adults in this world, and lots of them, who are so sensitive that their feelers get wounded? And they seem to expect that that matters to anybody outside their own heads? It's right up there with "that offends me", which is another stupid thing people say that just doesn't matter to anybody else.

Or is it just that many aren't capable of using adult language to describe emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy, envy, betrayal, or other negative emotions?

If my DH says something insensitive I have no problem letting him know he hurt my feelings. If I don't tell him he won't know. If I say something we can discuss whatever happened and if it was a misunderstanding everyone can move on. If DH really said something that hurt me he needs to know why so that he won't do it again. I don't think that makes me whiny at all.

So you look at him and say, "You hurt my feelings"? Or do you say, "when you said xxxxxx, it made me angry because Yyyyyyy".

Quoting Anonymous:

If my DH says something insensitive I have no problem letting him know he hurt my feelings. If I don't tell him he won't know. If I say something we can discuss whatever happened and if it was a misunderstanding everyone can move on. If DH really said something that hurt me he needs to know why so that he won't do it again. I don't think that makes me whiny at all.

nope some times my kids and husband hurt my feeling no other way to explain it. because usually it jsut inst one emotion

by Anonymous 1
on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:53 PM

I say "that hurt my feelings" and then when he asks I explain what exactly bothered me and why.

Quoting Saille717:

So you look at him and say, "You hurt my feelings"? Or do you say, "when you said xxxxxx, it made me angry because Yyyyyyy".

Quoting Anonymous:

If my DH says something insensitive I have no problem letting him know he hurt my feelings. If I don't tell him he won't know. If I say something we can discuss whatever happened and if it was a misunderstanding everyone can move on. If DH really said something that hurt me he needs to know why so that he won't do it again. I don't think that makes me whiny at all.

Most adults should not only know but also accept that the only person responsible for their feelings are themselves. They should also know and accept that other people only have as much influence on their feelings as they choose to allow them to have. They should also know and accept that our feelings/how we feel, stems from how/what we think. So, their thinking/how they think actually has more influence/control over their feelings than any other person could ever have.

As far as offense is concerned. Being offended/taking offense is an active choice. We actively choose what offends us and what doesn't. People can choose to be offended or not, just like they choose what offends them and what doesn't.

Both things are really active choices on an individuals part. Many people however do not want the responsibility of accepting they are active choices and would rather hold others responsible for the choices they are making.

by Anonymous 2
on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:59 PM

1 mom liked this

Sorry but that seems like a personal problem. I don't think there is anything immature or whiny about letting people know when they have hurt us. It's quite a bit less whiny and immature than retaliating in anger or holding a grudge without letting the person know why you are upset.

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