GILL: What will 2013 bring? How should I know?

Monday

Dec 31, 2012 at 12:01 AMDec 31, 2012 at 1:00 PM

Look back on a year that clued everyone not living in South Korea into the existence of PSY, saw Joss Whedon become mainstream and bid adieu to the political aspirations of Mitt Romney, forever. Let’s look ahead to the next year, a little thing I like to call 2013.

Chris Gill

In these last few semi-sober days of 2012, I ask not that we look back on a year that clued everyone not living in South Korea into the existence of PSY, saw Joss Whedon become mainstream and bid adieu to the political aspirations of Mitt Romney, forever. Let’s look ahead to the next year, a little thing I like to call 2013.

What can we expect? I really don’t know, and neither do you unless you’re a witch or Biff from the future. All we can do is make educated guesses, or wish so much that it becomes reality in our minds warped by the age of entitlement, driving us deep into a crippling psychosis that drives away friends and family.

Perhaps I’ve revealed too much.

Here are some things I’d like to see happen in Y213:

The NFL will ban helmets for the upcoming season.

NASCAR to announce it will take its premier series to a dirt track and use rain tires at road courses – or, do the things it asks its lower-tier classes to do.

The Buffalo Bills end their long playoff drought, and make a deep run in January – this one isn’t for me as much as it is for so many of my friends who suffer year after gut-wrenching year.

The NHL and players sign a 50-year labor agreement to avoid another asinine work stoppage in my lifetime.

The New York Knicks win their first NBA title since the year of my birth – and this is more for me, not my friends so much.

The IZOD IndyCar Series signs David Stern as CEO and gives him absolute power, ending a long, damaging cycle of hiring insiders/goofs to guide what should be the most popular form of auto racing on the planet.

Watkins Glen International announces Formula One will come back to the track made famous by the U.S. Grands Prix. This is one of those which has caused psychosis in some fans.

AMC announces it was only kidding and Glen Mazzara will be the showrunner of “The Walking Dead” from now until such a time that the series ends.

Interest in soccer falls to an all-time low in the United States after David Beckham’s departure from Los Angeles.

Interest in Bo-Taoshi soars, becoming the fastest-growing sport in America. I’m never letting this go – domestic football is as spectacular as seniors golf by comparison. Google it.

Christopher Nolan is announced as the director for “Star Wars: Episode VII.”

None of the SEC schools qualify for the new BCS playoff system.

Halftime entertainment for Super Bowl XLVII has been changed and now will just be 20 minutes of closed-circuit security footage of the parking lot because no one watches anyway.

That’s my wish list for the new year. In all honesty, the only thing to really look forward to in 2013 is the rebirth of “Arrested Development.” In 2014 and 2015, things will pick up, so if you want to check out for a year or two, now would be a good time.

Chris Gill, sports writer for The Leader, N.Y., can be reached at cmgill@the-leader.com or follow him on Twitter @TheLeaderGill.

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