Taxes & Love - Playing the Player Prince

Guest Author - Kate Woods

There’s something to be said about being in the right place at the right time as this reporter has landed the opportunity to interview the 3 estranged wives of the Player Prince. Here outside of the Kingdom hospital where all 3 of the wives of the Player Prince had been treated after the Valentines Day Ball brawl was the right place and the right time to interview the ladies. The time is finally right and the ladies are ready to talk. They feel the need to tell their side of the story since the cry baby Prince was telling everyone that would listen that they viciously attacked him at the Ball for no reason other than the fact that he has spurned them, was no longer attracted to them and no longer loved them. He said that in truth he was never that into any of them and that he would fight them indefinitely regarding his right to not pay them support. His grounds would be that they were all guilty of Breach of Contract when they moved out and stopped giving him the admiration and physical attention that he was entitled to as their husband. And furthermore, one of them had even stopped being concerned about their desirability and has actually gained ten pounds and still expected him to be attracted to her. He also said that he was now going to sue all three of those predatory birds for pain and suffering and the injuries they inflicted on him at the Ball. So it wasn’t a surprise now that the ladies were ready to talk to the press. This reporter thinks that they have decided that the time was now right to turn the tables and to begin Playing the Player. So without further delay, let’s begin the interview.

“We’re here today with 3 regal beautiful women, Snow White, Rapunzel and Sleeping Beauty. These lovely ladies really need no additional introduction to the residents of this Kingdom but just for the record they are the 3 estranged wives of Prince Charming, who has now become known throughout the land as The Player Prince. So let’s get down to business and ask some of the questions we’re dying to have answered.”

“Many of you know that there was a brawl at the Valentines Day Ball and that the Prince is saying that he is planning to stop any support payments to the three of you and to sue you for both Breach of Contract and Pain and Suffering for the injuries he claims you inflicted on him at the Ball. What do you each have to say about that? Let’s start with Snow White.”

“Well, I think that it’s lovely that he’s making back-handed comments about us being predatory birds and our costumes as they were quite spectacular. For those of you who don’t know we were each magnificently decked out as Beautiful Birds for the costume Ball. I was a Raven, Rapunzel a Dove, and Sleeping Beauty was a Peacock and girl, we looked fine!"

“Well, the fact that he called you predatory birds had escaped me but now that you have pointed that out, I’m sure that’s what he was talking about, but Snow White, what do you think about the fact that he is planning to sue you for Breach of Contract and for Pain and Suffering?”

“I think the man lost his marbles while he was spinning around on that big Chuckaluk wheel. And on that subject I have to say that was an amazing idea that Rapunzel had to have her brother Beau give him that ride on that spinning wheel. And regarding his remarks, he hasn’t begun to pay nor has he begun to suffer. He’s the one that is guilty of Breach of Contract times three, I might add; and just for the record there’s a reason I gained a little weight.”

“Well, I’ve heard that when he was being treated for his injuries that he was a little tipsy from too much mulled wine that he imbibed at the Ball and that he was spouting off about how he wasn’t going to be the one paying for the medical bills for these injuries. Those Birds of Prey were going to get the bills because he already had enough bills because of them. He had to keep paying his Attorney and his Accountant and the Royal Tax Collector. He said he was even trying to learn how to handle all the tax stuff himself because he was tired of paying everybody all the time. Then he proceeded to give a speech in the medical office about how he wouldn’t even be able to deduct these medical expenses on his tax return unless they were high enough to exceed 7.5% of his total adjusted gross income and then he could only deduct the portion that was above that and only if he had enough other itemized expenses to qualify to itemize his expenses on a Schedule A instead of taking the standard deduction.”

“So Rapunzel, what do you think about all of this?”

“I think that the man is getting his payback for being a Player and that I’m having great fun now being an opponent of the Player instead of one of his victims. The difference is that even though we’re now Playing the Player so to speak, we’re playing by the rules of fair play. As to me having my brother decorate the Chuckaluk Wheel with him, well as they say turnabout is fair play and I did enjoy watching him turnabout and spin around. As I watched him turning around all I could keep thinking was 'round and round and round he goes and where he stops no body knows'. The only thing that would have made that better would have been if the wheel broke loose and he rolled down the hill and kept going into infinity.”

“Wow, I sense a little hatred in the air. So what about you Sleeping Beauty, how do you feel about his comments?”

“Well, I think that he should be glad that his injuries weren’t enough to qualify him to itemize medical expenses on his tax return. I’m sure he’ll be even more unhappy when he reads this and finds out that Snow White is pregnant and since she is filing married filing separately, he won’t be able to take credit for her medical expenses or those of the royal baby as itemized medical deductions either. Snow White wanted to make the news of the impending birth public and we decided now would be as good a time as any. As for his injuries and us being responsible I can assure you that I did not go out of my way to injure him in any way and the bruise he claims he has from me kicking him is entirely his fault. He walked right into my foot when I was kicking an apple out of the way that had fallen off of a serving platter onto the floor into my path.”

“So ladies is there anything else you’d like to share with the readers of the kingdom?”

“Yes, Miss Reporter, being the first to be Played by that dirty rotten Player Prince, I tend to be the spokesperson for all 3 of us and we’d like to say that the 3 of us are in this together. We have been on an emotional roller coaster just as anyone would be after being Played and having their heart broken by someone you thought loved you who was only playing a game. We know that we are appearing to be vindictive and vengeful and that some people think that we should just move on out of respect for the scoundrel's royal position; but he should be held to the same rules of common decency as everyone else. People should not treat other people like pawns on a chess board that they play a game with without regard to their feelings or well being. So we 3 birds have flocked together, to get a fair and equitable settlement for our mistreatment at the hands of Prince Charming the Player Prince.”

“Well, Snow White, that was eloquent and it does make one more question pop into my mind that I’d like to ask all of you. So many people commented on how wonderful you all looked in your Bird Costumes at the Ball. What gave you the idea of appearing as a flock of birds?”

“We were trying to decide whether we should attend or not attend the Ball and suddenly an image popped into my mind that if we were in costumes until he figured out who we were we would be free to move about and perhaps create some havoc for him and his new sweetie at the Ball. So then the only thing that remained was to decide what to dress up as and I immediately thought that if I could shift into any other creature to exact my revenge it would be a Raven so that I could peck away at him over a long period of time and make the experience last longer and I could also swoop in to pick up pieces of his fortune one coin at a time until it was all gone. Now that was a delicious vision to be savored like a fine wine or luscious chocolate.”

“I must say that’s a picture that anyone who was ever played would savor as well. I thank you ladies for sharing your story with me and the readers of the kingdom. I hope you’ll give me the opportunity to speak with you again from time to time so that we can report up to the minute information from your point of view.”

“So readers there you have it the most current information regarding Prince Charming the Original Player and his estranged wives. Check back here often for up to the minute reports.”

I hope you're enjoying Tax Facts on the Taxing Subject of Taxes!

Any U.S. tax advice contained in this electronic communication was not intended or written to be used, nor can be used, by any recipient of this communication for the purpose of avoiding penalties that might be imposed pursuant to the Internal Revenue Code or U.S. Treasury Regulations, or any other state or local law or regulation.

Content of this site is not intended to replace professional consultation.