Labour Party seeks to overturn injunction on all media coverage of Ed Miliband

The Labour Party has applied to the High Court in a bid to overturn the injunction currently in place on all political media coverage of Ed Miliband. The original gagging order was taken out the day after Mr. Miliband became leader and is due to be lifted shortly before the next election.

Deputy Leader Harriet Harman revealed that the injunction had been accidently placed on Ed Miliband when he became leader back in September and now explains how the oppostion has managed to keep the identity of their leader a total secret over the past eight months. ‘It was a cock up with the paperwork in the office – you know how these things are. For months we’ve been racking our brains for why we can never get him in the newspapers or on Newsnight – and now we’ve finally worked it out. Nick Robinson pretended not to know who we were talking about – ‘Ed who?’ he kept saying.’

Ordinarily the press would fight such an injunction on the grounds of free speech, but it turns out they happily accepted the Labour Party’s mistaken application. The editor of The Sun, Dominic Mohan, stated, ‘We decided not to contest the Labour Party in this move despite being supporters of the Conservatives who would have clearly benefited from almost any story featuring Ed Miliband. We did it because we couldn’t contemplate a future in which Labour’s nominal leader was given even a single column inch. So the best way to achieve this was to effectively gag ourselves, just in case the urge arose in some mad young hack to try to slip a story past us.’

Jeremy Paxman of Newsnight was another supporter of the injunction after confessing he was never sure which Miliband was which. ‘I know one of them left frontline politics while the other one seems to have completely disappeared. So I’m in favour of the injunction whoever it relates to.’

Harriet Harman says that while the order prevents any mention of Ed Miliband’s policies, she can reveal what he has been doing since last September. ‘As some of you may know he is shortly to marry his long-term girlfriend Justine Thornton. Claire Short is going to be a bridesmaid, so we are expecting to get as much media coverage as Pippa Middleton.’