How to Choose Your Maid of Honor

There are countless logistics and unspoken rules when it comes to selecting your wedding party. Perhaps your man’s sister wants in, but you’ve never really clicked, or your girlfriends are chomping at the bit, but your sorority provided you with too many go-to girls. Or maybe you feel like you don’t want to put the burden on any of them. With a bit of guidance, we’ll help you figure out the solution and make the entire experience one that both you and your posse will adore. To get the scoop, we sat down with one of our Newport brides, Jamie, to get some insight on selecting your bridesmaids. She had her wedding last year at Regatta Place, which ran smoothly from bridal shower to honeymoon with the help of her six bridesmaids. As someone who has recently gone through the process, she had some helpful tips!

Sarah Pudlo Photography

1. She’s got your back

“For me, dependability was very important, ” says Jamie. Above all else, you need to know you can count on this person. Someone who is flaky or unreliable might be a fun, spontaneous friend, but maybe they’re not the right person to entrust with your wedding.

2. She’s been there since day one

“One of the most important things for me was length of time and friendship that I had with my maid of honor. I had been best friends with her for about 12 years, and even though we hadn’t lived in the same state for about 8 years, I still felt strongly that she knew me better than anyone else I could have chosen,” explains Jamie. Although you might have strong adult friendships, there’s no match for someone who has known you from the start. Whether that’s a sister, cousin, or lifelong best friend, it’s smart to pick someone who knows you as well as you know yourself (or better!)

3. She’ll get the party started

“A maid of honor should also be one to help get the party started on the wedding day! Being outgoing and enthusiastic really helps to set the mood of the reception!” says Jamie. Someone has to bring the champagne when you’re getting ready and plan a blow out bachelorette bash and bridal shower. This may not be the first quality that comes to mind, but someone who can relieve social pressures is always a smart choice and ensures that your guests will have an unforgettable night.

Sarah Pudlo Photography

4. She’s present

“I was planning my wedding from another state, so it was important to have a maid of honor that could step into the planning process on my behalf and work with my vendors to ensure my vision was carried out,” says Jamie. You want your maid of honor to actually be here. Unfortunately sometimes friendships are from afar, and while they may be resilient, it won’t be very helpful to have someone plan your wedding who can’t be there to help you make decisions in person and connect the bridal party.

5. She’s your go-to

“I think a maid of honor should be someone who has always been a supportive, caring, and loving friend,” explains Jamie. There you have it, when it comes down to it, the most important qualities are the core values of friendship.

Wondering how Jamie asked her maid of honor the big question? “I put together a gift box and had it shipped to her house. When she opened it there was a small bottle of tequila and a card that read ‘I promise not to make you take too many tequila shots,’ on the front, and on the inside read, ‘if you’ll be my maid of honor.’ Inside the gift box was a shot glass that read ‘maid of honor’ and a t-shirt that said the same.”