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16. October 2015

TRUMP BUYS CNBC; LaPIERRE NIXES SANDERS

NEW YORK – Donald Trump, firmly positioned to swagger himself into the White House on January 20, 2017, has resolved his spat with CNBC.

On October 28, the third GOP presidential debate, hosted by CNBC, will be held in Boulder, Colorado. But Trump and his chief rival, retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson, objected to the rules for the
debate which CNBC sent out on Tuesday. CNBC wanted to begin the debate with no opening statements, but both Trump and Carson said they would boycott the debate, so CNBC folded.

What the mainstream media failed to report was that Steve Burke, President and CEO of NBC Universal, the parent company of CNBC, told a solitary reporter in an exclusive interview that Trump has
purchased CNBC.

“CNBC is basically a business channel,” Burke explained to the solitary reporter, “and these days, nobody is really interested in learning what’s going on in business, because Trump and Carson
are the only people that anybody wants to watch on TV anymore.”

“And that’s why we sold CNBC to Trump."

Burke refused to tell the solitary reporter the sales price, but our keen associate solitary reporter, Lewis Thompson, promises to keep us updated on that score.

Elsewhere, Wayne LaPierre, the CEO of the NRA, told his governing board that even though Bernie Sanders has supported the gun lobby on some issues, NRA members should contribute to a special fund
to aid the NRA’s efforts to defeat Bernie’s candidacy. “Sanders showed up on the stage last Tuesday with Hillary Clinton, Martin O’Malley, and Lincoln Chafee, all of whom hate us. And to make it
worse, Sanders said he wanted to work with us to pass legislation calling for background checks. We are totally through with Bernie Sanders.”