Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

I"d be careful, especially since he's a neighbor and you have to live near him. I agree with the poster who said to pay for your own meal, and make sure he realizes that you are there for a meal with a FRIEND. I had a similar situation when I was young. I think it's important to keep your feelers up and trust your gut. The older man I knew was my neighbor's dad who lived with them. I just thought of him as a nice older man. I was only 23, my father was barely 40, and this man was in his 60's. It never occurred to me that he thought of me in any way other than a grandfatherly way. Unfortunately, he made a very inappropriate request, I was embarrassed, and insulted, and finally had to tell his son to keep him away. It was a very uncomfortable situation. Good Luck, and again, trust your instincts.

He could just be lonely and figures since you're a single parent that you could use all the help you can get. Was very nice of him to do the turkey and dinner thing.
I'd mention to him that you're not interested in a relationship and put it straight out on the table that you don't want to take advantage of his kindness under false illusions.
It's likely he's just lonely tho and didn't want to eat alone. If I went, I'd pay for my own food to make sure he understands that it's NOT a date.

My husband calls me "Worst Case Scenario Girl" because I always expect the worst so here's my take....
Child predators target single mothers. They are super nice and really make an effort to get to know mother and child(ren). Then they offer to help out...take child(ren) for ice cream so Mom can have a break or maybe be there when an emergency of some sort requires Mom to need a sitter in a pinch.

I know I sound like an alarmist but if it keeps your little one safe, I don't mind being bashed in here for saying it. Just be careful and watch for clues like these. He may be a nice older man but nice older men don't want to hang out with little kids.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 12:00 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

Since you don't know what his intentions are, make sure he knows what your intentions are. That way no one gets their feelings hurt. You know what they say about snow on the roof.

I kinda agree with you Anon... it's always best to watch for clues, regardless of age, or gender. Not too long ago, a lady in the DFW area had several movies full of doing things to little bitty babies and small children she was babysitting.
Not all old men are pervs, not all young men are lying cheating low down dirty rotten jerks either....
I stand by original opinion, he may be lonely, may just not like eating alone and may have thought when he bought you the turkey you might invite him over to eat with you thinking maybe since he didn't see a husband or boyfriend around (I'm only assuming since you agreed to go eat with him) that he might've found someone to share some meals with and even old men, the same as old women enjoy young children (in a non sexual way). The innocense of a child makes us remember when our babies were little, when we were little, and they are constantly bringing a smile or a laugh :)

I would be very suspicious and I would not want to be going out with a man I barely know. You may be putting both yourself and your baby at risk. You don't have to be rude, but you can just tell him that you prefer to not be going out with him.