Jenna and I met up post-work today to get our last-minute Christmas shopping done.

"Is being in Jane's wedding weird for you at all?" I asked her while holding a red cashmere turtleneck up to myself and checking it out in the mirror.

"Not really," she said, taking the sweater away from me. "You're supposed to be shopping for other people."

"I don't think I could be in an ex's wedding," I said.

"Jane didn't really hurt me as someone I was involved with. She hurt me as a friend. Does that make sense?"

"I'm not sure."

"Okay, think of it this way. You were friends with Derrick forever. You knew that he was a player, but when you got involved with him, you thought you were exempt from all of his crap because you were his friend, right?"

"I guess," I admitted.

"So when he hurt you, it wasn't because you were all in love with him and crap. It was because you expected more of him as a friend."

"True. But wouldn't that make it harder for you to be friends with Jane?"

"No, because I should have known better. I mean, this is Jane's third engagement, and every time she has a serious breakup with a guy, she goes straight for the vagina. Then she gets over the breakup, and dumps whatever chick she's with to go find herself a new guy. You know?"

I nodded, but inside I was thinking, third engagement? What? Gets involved with a woman after every breakup? What? Who the hell is my friend Jane and why don't I know this about her?

"You didn't know any of that, did you?" Jenna asked. "I can see you're freaking out in your head."

"No."

"Crap. I assumed you did."

"I won't say anything."

"So yeah, I can't really blame Jane when I got involved knowing all of the necessary info up front."

"I can see that. So, are you ever going to date again or what?"

"Actually, I've been seeing a chick named Natalie. I haven't said anything because I don't want to jinx it. If we're still going strong in a week or two, I'll introduce you. She's cool."

Then Jenna and I talked about the whole "bi" thing for awhile. She said after her breakup with John, she realized that she can't really be herself with guys the way she can with women -- she always holds a part of herself back.

"So are you like, totally a lesbian now?" I asked, smiling.

"I guess I am!" she said.

I walked home thinking about Derrick. Jenna was right -- I can't really hate him forever when I knew what I was getting myself into. There was a reason we were friends -- and only friends -- for so many years. I decided to send him an email when I got home.

To: Derrick

From: K

Subject: Happy Holidays

Hey stranger,

Just wanted to say hello and wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and all that jazz. Jerk ;) Let's catch up in 2008.